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Last thread: >>298392
What's on your mind?
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This is why I can't stand kiwifarms, despite then also being against trannies:
Dogs > women
Their reactions after a dog was raped
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Vs when a mentally impaired women (iq 52, meaning mental age of a 7-year old) "has sex" with multiple muslim men every single day + night…
Shit like this pisses me off so much.
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I'm at a very low point, at best, despair more honestly. I ebb between comfortable numbness and feeling crazy and right now it's crazy town. I hate my life and I hate the time I've irrevocably lost to my poor decision-making and depression. I'm 25, almost 26 which in the grand scheme of things is still young but I feel so fucking behind in making a life for myself and the weight of regret makes me ache. I have no friends, my family only sorta likes me and I've never had a good relationship or sex I really enjoyed and wanted, the closest I've come is a guy that belittles me and uses me but my self loathing keeps me put. I don't want to inflict myself on a nicer person.
The deep discussions forum is even worse with its extreme misogyny since a lot of people who post there are serious about holding those views.
I only stick to certain threads and boards on kiwi farms myself since I can’t stand the /pol/-tier bullshit and misogyny on most of the non-lolcow threads either.
yeah i tend to keep away from the off-topic board, a majority of the users there rarely ever post in the main lolcow boards. even if they do they're usually ridiculed for sounding exceptional as fuck.
beauty parlor, tumblr, internet famous, la zorra, and animal control is where i stay. i know BP and Tumblr have majority female users in those forums.
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>mfw mom died from ovarian cancer last week
>mfw I found out I have a benign breast tumor
>mfw I got test results for cancer risk today
>mfw cancer risk is increased
>mfw I'm 22
I'm going to see my gynecologist tomorrow and the results don't mean I 100% have cancer but fuck I'm scared
I thought after mom died I'm gonna finally turn my life around, move to a bigger city, get rid of depression, get some friends
Guess not, I'll just have to suffer more
I’m sorry for what you’re going through Anon. Losing your mother, especially if you were close, is a pain no one could ever understand without experiencing it.
I lost my mom a year ago.
It catches me in the most random moments. Here I am, at a good place in my life relatively, actually kind of “living my dream” and just a moment ago: I was reading Shay’s thread, and she lied about having a needle stuck in the middle of her fingers because the nurse couldn’t find a vein. Another Anon explains that nurses would be able to find a vein on the back of her hand.
And here I am, remembering the time my mom had to take IV from the back of her hand the last time she got hospitalized, because they couldn’t get it going from her arm, because her body wasn’t producing enough blood anymore, because chemotherapy, because breast cancer.
I wish she could see me reaching my dreams. Sometimes I feel like she’s watching. Sometimes I feel unbearably alone.
I'm sorry you experienced this shit too, anon. Cancer is the worst way to go.
It's not really getting to me that much, because my thoughts are occupied by the probability of having cancer myself, but it could have been prevented if she got regular check ups or went to a better clinic or a hundred other things but it was too late.
I really don't want to go through the same thing she did, it's pure horror, I'm too young for this ;_;
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God,i hate this family gathering sm…everyone is yelling,disrespecting others,trynna pick a fight and getting on my last nerve.The urge to leave is unbearable
Anon, my mom got check ups every 6 months. The cancer showed itself in between them, at stage four. Sometimes life fucks you in the ass. I am the Anon you’re responding to. The doctors gave my mom 6 months. She lived 2 years after that. My aunt had the same thing, breast cancer, and she completely healed and living her life freely. Just keep your motivation up, and try to pull through. You never know with this disease and the best you can do is live your life. Motivation changes everything. It is crucial for survival in this case. I wish you the best, and hope you will heal.
I don’t want to step over my boundries, and I know (if you are American) USA healthcare sucks ass but try to find the best doctor in your area. And never stop fighting. My mom’s fight taught me so much. Best wishes and best prayers to you. You can be strong. Be strong.
This is so cheesy, but if you were close to your mom, try to find her in your heart. I sometimes can. Sometimes I can talk to her. If you were close, if she raised you with everything she had, she is still there.
But, in reality, I know how you hurt. Best wishes to you, too. We will make them proud.
Thanks, anon, that's really nice.
It's a hard situation because my mother was an alcoholic (that's what killed her) and when she drank she wasn't a nice person. When she was drunk it seemed like all she wanted to do was hurt me and my dad and brother in any way she could. She was drunk most of the time in the final years of her life, so I rarely got to talk to the calm, loving woman who raised me, instead I had to talk to this slurring bitch who would say and do the most evil shit to try and get a reaction. In some ways I feel like I mourned the death of my mother before she had even died.
thank you for your kind words, I literally teared up
I know I have to fight or i'll die, it's just hard when I've been depressed for so long. I'm glad your aunt is ok now and it gives me hope.
When my mom got diagnosed she wasn't supposed to die, but somehow she didn't want to bother anyone and picked the cheap treatment(which we found out later), and refused to go abroad for chemo, and after a series of mistakes made by doctors, she got worse and died in a month. Me and my dad still feel guilty about not forcing her to go abroad earlier, but when she finally got that she needs to go, it was too late.
I still don't get why she did this, was this depression or what?
We second world, but I'm grateful that if it turns out to be cancer, I can get good treatment in europe
If you're American or European your country has directly caused the poverty and corruption those immigrants are fleeing
Criticizing immigration is valid but you two don't even understand why it happens or why people who bitch about immigrants are considered horrible
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I found out earlier that I can't afford my psychiatrist appointment at the end of next month, and I'm spiraling back out of control because I was using it as a fixed point to hold on to. I've already sent off the super in-depth history/symptom form I was asked to fill out, so I've been reliving my trauma and sharing it with a stranger for no fucking reason. I've been living with this shit for too long and I can't cope anymore, but I can't get help without that money I don't have. I'm so tired.
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No one will ever love me because my face is fucking ugly.
I could get a nose job (which I can't afford and don't want), but aside from that my proportions are a fucked.
this impossibly cute person joined a group for this weird, obscure hobby that miraculously has a society at my uni and i, haven't shown them much kindness. like, i haven't been outright mean? but i've been keeping our relationship strictly professional. i've even outright turned their invitations to go out down.
i get that they can't discuss it ( this hobby ) with any of their normie friends ( ( they're always talking about how they only listen to whatever's topping the charts + country )) but fuck, i wish they weren't in the club.
like, being attractive + coming from a good family has obviously lent them more opportunities to be social i guess? he's got that sparkly happy vibe all normies seem to have, the other members are so drawn to him/get along with him quite well. and to make matters worse they've got their eyes ( obviously so ) on this girl i really wanted to befriend, maybe i have a crush on her, who knows. it just sucks because i know they'll end up becoming the best of buds with her, and everyone else in the society, and i'll just get left behind as usual. i'm ugly and awkward, past attempts to improve myself have failed so i've sort of accepted it. but i was hoping i could make friends with my fellow rejects but fuck, why is he here. i hate being envious like this
man all of this is muddled, isn't it? i'm just sad.
to expand on this, i already know how it's going to play out? she's got a cute, dorky personality that's endearing her to everyone ( especially me jesus christ ) and he's fucking chad thunderfuck, that so happens to be cute and dorky too and ugh. i just hate it.
i hate that he's got a higher chance with her than i do just because he's a guy. and handsome. it isn't fair
it's not fair that i have to stand around and pretend to be happy for her either.
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I feel you, anon. Conventionally attractive people ruin comfy social situations just by existing. They steal everything from us below-averages.
What's your hobby, if you don't mind me asking?
Oh well, learn self acceptance and love (lifelong process for some) and maybe you'll roll a 20 next time!
source: am ugly AF
Incel tier bitterness right there lol. People in China could smell that insecurity.>>313094
You sound like the worst sort of lesbian nicegirl. Gross.
Are you denying that attractive people are treated better?>inb4 deal with it
Yeah, of course, pretty-chan. We do on the daily. But this is the thread to be whiny in.
>>313129>the worst sort of lesbian nicegirl
in what way?? it's not like i'm making this displeasure known to anyone.
and this is the first
time i'm letting these feelings be known to someone else >>313106
don't worry about it
You’re so upset about your own looks l that other people being not ugly ruins socialising for you lol. How is that not desperately insecure?
Nobody sits there going she’s so ugly she’s ruining this interaction
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Fuck off back to Instagram, Stacy
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it is definitely unfair that people can live an easy and happy life + make the hearts of other people flutter just because they were born with a pretty face lol
also i never said or implied this >why can’t she like my quirkiness more?>>313141
do you not believe in lookism
kek are you actually saying you don't hate ugly people? You don't look down on us whenever we step withing 5 feet of you?
Attractive people are just more socially valuable and they know it, and they hate us for existing.
I was never really ugly and still got treated like shit in school. In the end it's all about confidence. Some adults and friends told me I could model, meanwhile a girl who was so fat that she couldn't even sit with her legs crossed called me a cow face behind my back.
When I joined the japanese club all these fat greasy haired and smelling otaku guys didn't even have the courtasy to say 'hello' back. In the end I left, because sadly I wasn't able to be friends with anybody there.
Are you doing the same thing to that guy as well? Maybe he's really shy otherwise and only bubbly around people who share the same interest - you in this case. You're really not being fair here. Maybe the girl likes him because he's being nice and friendly, meanwhile she probably noticed that you treat him coldy…not a very good impression.
Oozing insecurity and bitterness towards other group members is far more unattractive than a big nose or whatever.
Most people don’t care about how people look as long as they aren’t being rude or weird. Anon sounds like they’re being weird af.
jesus, you sound like the fucking radiohead song.>you are so fucking special uwu, i wish i was special :((( but I am a creeeep
Tell me why should she choose you over the chad? What are your good qualities? You spund so unhealthy with how low you speak about yourself and how high of some randomass girl. Gives me a second-hand embarrassment.
Go get some therapy and find a fellow quirky lesbian online instead of pining like a nice girl™. Just don't scare her off wih bitterness and insecurity. Good luck.
…he has a large circle of friends outside the club. did you not see the bit in my post about his normie pals? i thought that hinted towards it
starting to think you just skimmed what i said because nowhere did i mention rudeness. i did say i wasn't trying to get close to him, but like. there's nothing wrong with that
also the examples you gave aren't even actual signs of being treated badly? at least they aren't comparable to what some ugly people had to go through. the guys most likely didn't want a girl invading their space and the fat chick was more than likely jealous
So what horrible abuses are you being subjected to aside from a potential couple existing nearby?
How are you victimised and oppressed? You get fired for your face? Got beaten for not being a model? Denied medical care?
Or have a couple of people been mean like everyone else in the world has experienced, and you’ve been romantically rejected a couple times? Poor you. Such suffering.
>>313156>nowhere did i mention rudeness
He was nice enough to ask you to hang out, despite you being o so hideous, but you keep it professional and turn him down. "professional", at a group in uni, you've got to be kidding me…
>the guys most likely didn't want a girl invading their space
First of, there were other girls as well, secondly it's not "their space", we started going to that class at the same time, I went there for a whole year and not once did they greet back.
But I guess you think such behavior is completely okay…
I hope that guy asks her out, she doesn't deserve a cunt like you lusting after her.
where did anyone say it was a personal attack
like, most people would be sad about seeing a person they like get swept away by someone else so…it isn't even that weird of a feeling
you just sound like a bitch, anon
And yet you sound like all incel crybabies bitching about lookism.
It sounds like this girl you’re into dodged a bullet.
You’re acting like people have deliberately done this to you. Your friends asked you to hang out, despite your bitterness towards them for having better self esteem than you do, and you’re sat there claiming that they ‘ruin comfy socialisation just by existing’ and ‘steal everything’ from you.
This girl wasnt stolen from you. Your creepy owner attitude towards her over your little crush makes you sound like those creepy guys who harbour grudges over people talking to his waifu.
it's not their duty to say hello to you? why have such entitlement. you had other friends outside of the club, why didn't you try cultivating an interest in anime within them?
and it's not like i made any mention to this guy that i wanted him to invite me places so? wtf >>313177
the person you're replying to isn't even me, but why deny lookism. lookism has been a thing long before the term incel
Lookism don’t real.
People with actual deformities are out there doing fine, getting jobs, getting married. Most of us aren’t model-beautiful. It’s not some curse or oppression.
A bunch of immature crybabies blaming their slightly wonky eyes or thin wrists for their misfortunes and shortcomings is pathetic, not proof lookism is some actual problem.
If there are 2-3 people sitting in a room and another person enters and says hi, you just stare at that person but don't answer? Every single week for a year? lmao Seems like your parents failed to teach you the most basic things.
Guess you never learned this either, but people don't invite others because they mentioned it beforehand, but because they want to spend time with that person. Maybe he even likes you but you don't notice because you're blinded by hatred?
However, I'm positive that you can rest assured that nobody who witnessed that will ask you out to do stuff ever again lol. Enjoy your privacy.
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Friends are all having a blast without me
My fucking country is in shambles too kek… To te point that people are killing criminals on the streets because the police does nothing, burning criminals alive in public spaces.
Still I'm sick of migrants traveling with kids just trying to gain sympathy, why the hell they have like five kids and then complain about having no money or food.
Every country has problems and that's not a reason to intrude everywhere violently.
This is probably the most sane comment I've seen in awhile.
A lot of migrants use kids as some kind of bargaining chip. It's kinda sick imo.
>>313305>A lot of migrants use kids as some kind of bargaining chip
That is exactly what "refugees" on Nauru do to their kids. Tell them to go on hunger strikes and they'll take us to Australia, Australia does not give in however and never will kek.
There is so much hysteria over Nauru ITS A LITERAL CONCENTRATION CAMP, CHILDREN ARE DYING!>"refugees" are allowed to come and go as they please>has to report back at some point in time in the evening>so horrible
The refugees who are entitled and think that ^ is "literal torture" and think their owed more riot like animals and break shit and claim victim. The male "refugees" also reportedly have a problem with raping. A 12 year old detained girl had to be flown to Australia for an abortion. Now how do you think that happened? Assaults are rampant cos these male "refugees" don't know how to be humans. I say, fuck em. Stay on that fucking island. WE DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Dental Assistant here, it's more likely that she didn't grind the filling down correctly to match your bite and you're experiencing pain from that. It's a quick fix. To check, just try to bite your teeth together, does that hurt worse?
If you're experiencing pulpitis the pain doesn't come from the tooth, but lower in your jaw and it's near constant.
Root canals are a bitch, go to a diff dentist and ask them to check if your filling is "too high" they'll know.
I don't know can you blame them? I sure don't, I'd be getting the fuck out of my shitty country as well for the sake of my family.
It's my own country's fault for being retarded enough to accept them and lodge them in hotels and shit. Canada here, I'm a liberal at heart but this is some bullshit I can't accept.
But what mostly bothers me is that people either behave like this is perfectly okay, or are foaming at the mouth racist. Whatever happened to reasonable discussion? This just enables either side to call each other names so literally nothing gets done.
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The slow grind of unemployment is making me miserable.
Sending out dozens of resumes a day is tiring. Worst of all, I got a goddamn good personality and people skills and I'm sure if I were to meet those recruiters they'd at least consider me a little bit more.
I hate when I get the usual polite no (We reviewed your application and decided to not move forward this time, but we will contact you for a better suited position blabla) and wish they'd just give me real pointers. Like "You studied outside of the country and we don't know about those schools" or "Your portfolio wasn't all that impressive, maybe you should add more of this or that".
One of my former classmate already got called by Amazon and another company for an interview when I know for a fact he's actually less skilled than I am, since I'd spend my time fixing his code and helping him out on his projects.
I decided to sign up for pro events in the area and try harder at networking so hopefully I'll be out of this crap in a month or two.
Also Freelancing sucks. I hate my country's laws. It's too fucking damn complicated and I'm not an accountant, I don't know how to draft different contracts depending on the type of project and taking care of all the different taxes. And I hate those websites where people just lowball like crazy. Legit saw a listing for about 100h of work for $400. I'm tired of competing with third world countries.
I think most people are very on the fence when it comes to immigration, but both extreme left and right sides are so overwhelming that they are drowned out.
I'm fine with immigration when it is done right (proper vetting/screening and they are doing it legally) but i also worry about higher crime rates and other things. You cant just let someone in with zero consequences.
Also, what's going to happen when everyone who hates their country flees to another one? then that country left behind never grows or gets better. There is only so much room places like North America and Europe have.
I have the same issue (with befriending and meeting women), but I think it's because I just value the thoughts of women more than those of men.
Maybe try joining some clubs for non-normie activities and meet other girls there so you have something in common to talk about.
Well like other anon said, they move to over populated countries…
I was pro migrants before, i thought well poor people they are humans after all, what's wrong with them, let them in!, then i traveled to Europe and saw a bunch of immigrants everywhere, littering, begging for money, and just making chaos. THEN in my country, i shouldn't say where I'm from but fuck it you should guess kek, migrants use this country like a fucking bridge to get to USA and of course they don't get there or are rejected and guess what? They stay here, this country is overpopulated and in a very bad shape (crimen and lack of opportunities), there's no opportunities here for migrants, they might as well go back to Guatemala or Honduras or Salvador. And often you can read about Colombians committing crimes and what not.
Now we are being called racist because we don't want a bunch of migrants entering by force this country, people saying "what about our immigrants that get treated bad in usa, do you have a trump in your head" well you don't see a bunch of people trespassing by force the USA border (they do other dangerous shit hiding etc), i don't support them either anyways kek.
I would love to move to another country where there's low risk of being robbed or killed for a fucking cellphone in the bus, but that's no reason to go and do whatever the fuck i want and enter a country like a cave man.
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It's pretty soul-crushing to finally realize that someone who you've spent your whole life around is completely incapable of feeling empathy towards you and views you as little more than dirt. I really shouldn't be shocked because this family member is a textbook example of BPD with some narcissism sprinkled in, but deep down it still hurts a little, realizing that she never once has cared about me. I know this sounds really self-centered, but knowing she has never cared and never will care about my life, my interests, my passions… it does sting. All I am is a tool to her, a way to get attention and companionship. I'm a fucking lapdog. I don't know why I even bother opening my mouth around her because it's obvious she doesn't listen to a single word I say unless she can either boost her ego off of it or use it to attack me later. I'm such a fucking dumbass.
Anon you aren't self-centered, this familiar is. I can relate as the whole family apart from 3 people are full blown BPD/NPD and the fact the ones who should be at our side couldn't care less about us except to use as a punching bag or tool to take any sort of advantage to whatever they have in mind stinks. While you can't go away try to grey rock them: not sharing anything
about your life since they don't care anyways and giving short, boring answers, be boring. It's difficult to not engage or try to be closer to them but unfortunately these people don't change, as it's a personality disorder. Be careful when they throw bait, try to stay calm and not engage with their crap, and when you are able to, move away asap
NTAYRT but I've been very rocking some folks and now when gossip comes back to me it's about how my life is empty. I don't share details anymore so I must just be staring at a wall all day. Lol.
I guess it's better than them having real information they can use against me.
Thank you anon. I've heard a little bit about grey rocking but I never really looked into it because I'm such an emotional person and I felt like I would always fail. It's so easy for me to fall for their bait because I get so caught up in the heat of the moment and I feel like I have to "defend" myself even though I know she'll never listen. I'm trying to work on it. Thank God
I'm moving out fairly soon, to somewhere very far, and I'll be able to go low contact with her.
What do you enjoy about it?
Is it morbid curiosity, kind of like how some of us like crime scene photography?
Is it sexually gratifying?
Do you just enjoy that squicky cringe feeling like horror movie enthusiasts?
It’s not necessarily related to mental unwellness. Sometimes people just like fucked up stuff.
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Our AC is broke and it's so humid here in Florida…I hate it. It won't be fixed till Monday which freaking sucks.
Omg I can definitely relate. I recently found out who my bio dad was after taking a DNA test. No one in the family knew.
You might not be a rape baby, I was a surprise since my mom was told she was infertile by her gyno.
I wouldn't worry too much about it anon. You say that you aren't violent and don't look at real life gore which is honestly a whole other ball game from drawn gore. A lot of people are into the same things. Unless you start wanting to hurt people/animals in real life or you start not being able to concentrate on anything BUT horror I'd not think too much about it.
I'm the same way and love the aesthetic of horror but show me a real crime scene photo and I'm vomiting and traumatized.
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I'm feeling particularly lonely. I realized I really have no one else besides my boyfriend, who I see maybe once or twice a week at max. No friends at university. This means I don't have conversations with people for the majority of the time and I have no online friends too or am in any discord servers. I don't know why but half of me really wants to be alone and the other half wants someone to talk to. I somewhat wished that my boyfriend could just fill up all the friendship that I need but thats asking way too much.
Everytime I feel happy or content with being alone, it all comes crashing down, like right now. I think of all the things I do when I'm alone and think this isn't so bad, but then I realize how pathetic I sound trying to convince myself that this is fine. The only times I see my friends nowadays is through social media. No one invites me to hang out, in fact one friend was having a party and didn't invite me wnd got annoyed when I found out. No one messages me, no "hey what's up" text, nothing. Certain friends know I'm depressed and in a bad place, so it would be nice to be checked up on. That's what I do for someone I care about, but maybe I'm just selfish for thinking that. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Even if I do get in contact with someone, it's always because I initiated it. It would be nice to be reached out for once and be thought about. I can't even remember the last time I someone spoke to me first. College is coming up for me soon, but if my current friends don't want anything to do with me, I sure as hell I won't be able to make new ones. I never thought of myself as a bad friend, I'm decent I think, I don't know what I did wrong to be alone. I hate seeing everyone on my snapchat with their bfs/gfs, or going out to parties, or even just a cute group picture. It reminds me of how alone I am and how alone I'll always be. I just want somebody to love me, somone who enjoys my company, somone who misses me. Won't ever happen though.
It’s shitty but I can see how it’s kind of my own fault if I did have one. I chose to screw around and put off intervention until there was no choice.
At least if it is, it’s my preferred way to exit the planet. Not many people get that bonus so hey, bright side.
Cosplayer of over 10 years giving you an easy answer: Stop giving a shit about social media numbers. I used to be hooked on following my follower count, always calculated when to get the best exposure and algorithm feed optimization, what to write about to make people like me, stressed over not getting enough likes etc. It became a cage and it was extremely hard to get out of that mindset. What made me snap out of it was when other cosplayers started re-posting themselves and telling people to like their posts simply because they wanted a bigger reach. It made me re-consider my goals and if I really wanted to be a desperate, attention-hungry, sniveling asshole like these people.
After I got over this, my attitude with cosplay improved heaps. Now I make costumes just for the fun of it and enjoy wearing them with my friends with no pressure. I used to be sort of "cosfamous" in my country (a big fish in a small pond sort of thing) and it's not that awesome. People making up shit about you out of jealousy or being judged even before you enter the room is not glamorous at all.
It's also better to just give up the dreams about actually making a living with cosplay. It's never going to happen. I used to know a person who had like 500k followers on FB and a massive, dedicated fan base but even with those metrics they made peanuts with their work. Jessica Nigri, Danielle and the other top-5 of the "adult cosplay list" are literally the only people who get money out of this and even with them it's the good connections bringing in the bucks. There are plenty of girls showing skin and doing trashy "boudoir" sets yet making next to nothing on Patreon.
The community has absolutely gone to shit though, I completely agree. But that's why it's just healthier to gather a good group of friends and stay within their company.
Maybe it’s morbid curiosity
I love when people talk about how fucked up a manga or game is, it makes me want to check it out
But I guess I don’t find it as fucked up as they do???
Euphoria wasn’t that bad….
I also find violent anime more entertaining and interesting
I’ve never gotten sexual gratification from it and I never will, I guess I don’t find it sexually appealing?
Maybe I do just like fucked up stuff, even though I don’t react like some people
My cousin and her husband just had a child together. Her husband has an 8 year old from an earlier relationship that didn't work out, a huge brat who is prone to being very rude, and now when there's a baby in the picture he's acting out even more due to lack of attention.
What annoys me is how they're parenting him. Our families are close, so we're visiting each other often. I get that parents can be tired of their kids, but the way they're yelling at him, calling him names like idiot and asshole, and are unwilling to listen to anything he says makes me upset at them both as parents.
His dad "jokingly" hits him and can do it very roughly. The kid will often start hitting both his parents when he gets upset, and when they tell him to stop, the kid will say stuff like "but you always hit me!" to defend himself.
Today I had to listen to the kid beg his father to apologize to him for calling him an idiot. An 8 year old clearly stating that he was hurt by what his father said, only for his father to go "but you ARE an idiot, aren't you?". Kid starts crying and yelling and slamming doors, and all my cousin and her husband do is sigh and wonder "how did he become like this?"
I'm not gonna lie and say that the kid is an angel, because he is clearly selfish and will often be annoying on purpose, but I also believe that it's the parents fault for him having become like this.
I tried to voice these concerns to them, but received no other response than "this is the way we do it. We're the grown-ups, he's the child and must learn to respect us".
I hate such parenting so much, and it's painful to watch it happening within my own family.
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here's a vent for ya, I'm starting my training for the company at my new job tomorrow, I've been ignoring it, pretending thats it not happening now that it actually is I don't know how the fuck I'm going to do it. My heart is fucking pounding right now as I type in this bed, I feel like I could actually faint laying down which is I heard impossible but Jesus Christ how the hell am I going to do this? I haven't left the house in nearly 2 years suddenly I got this job and I'm at my highest weight ever. I haven't even been able to walk into the store cos of embarrassment over that, I legitimately think I might collapse tomorrow and I'm so scared I'm going to be late cos I've never been there by bus and I have to find the city bus which takes you closer to it, I have to be there by 8:30am but I'm gonna wake leave at 4:00am, I don't care I'm too paranoid over being late.
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My best friend doesn't want to go with me to a trip to Japan. There was a flash deal going for $545 (round trip from the east coast) and we both have the means to pay it immediately and save up until April 2019 for the whole trip (six months worth of savings plus what we already have in our bank). When I brought up the deal up to her, she was excited and wanted to do it but now she got cold feet and kept making excuses like she has all these other conventions (that she hasn't invested money in yet) and what if she doesn't enjoy her trip like she thought she would when she was younger. I told her that's why she has to help plan for things she's interested in and conventions happen every year, this flash deal is pretty rare in our area. I'm very adamant in going to Japan next year because I'm going to attend graduate school for the next three years without having a "summer break". We got a mutual friend (MF) involved who is interested in doing the trip and MF and I tried to convince her but in the end, she said no and both of us and us fearing of losing the deal, MF and I booked our ticket. I always told myself if I end up not going to Japan with my best friend, I would feel like shit and it's hitting me now. I fell asleep crying, I woke up crying, and these kind of events aren't really like me I never feel so sad or anxious but here I am typing this up. I just feel so guilty and I don't really consider MF my best friend so it feels awkward to some extent. Now MF is inviting his two roommates to the picture to help cut down costs and whatnot but I don't even really know them either. I said yes to them coming because I wanted the trip to become cheap with four people rather than two. I really don't know what to do, I don't want to stop my own plans because my best friend doesn't want to go but I can't help but feel anything but sad if I do actually go on this trip but it's such a rare opportunity to just pass up. I really don't know if it's worth talking to her about it again. She's a fickle person so I'm afraid she'll just say yes again for my sake and then change her mind but maybe not so much if I can convince her about purchasing the ticket already.
sadly that's a common believe on this site that's why >>36918
what's up with your reading comprehension
Not that anon but the way you interpreted her posts baffled me
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I was dating this guy for 2 weeks. One night we did some sexual things, mostly him eating me out and fingering me (sorry for TMI). I'm a virgin and he asked to try putting it in, I said ok and he did (WITH a condom of course.) It hurt like fucking hell and he tried a few times then I asked him to stop. After that he ghosted me, don't really care that much, yes I know he's an asshole, I'm over it.
But now I'm freaking out thinking I'm pregnant when it's pretty much impossible. This happens every time I do something sexual. I didn't have sex with my bf of a year back in highschool because I was so afraid of being pregnant. I have been diagnosed with OCD so this is not a surprise. But I just hate myself so much. I'm supposed to get my period in the next 4 days or so but it can't come soon enough. This all happened maybe 3 weeks ago now.
Why do I keep thinking I'm pregnant when there's no way? He didn't even cum inside of me. He literally just tried putting it in a few times and it hurt too bad so we stopped. But my brain keeps telling me crazy things like he had precum on his fingers and it got inside of me so now I'm pregnant, or there was precum on the condom and when he put it in it made me pregnant, just crazy fucking shit like that. I feel so infantile and I'm almost 20 years old. This is killing me. I know I'm not ready for sex and I will not be for a while. Someone tell me how stupid I am so I can feel better.
Just buy a pee test and have a good giggle over some tea.
Stressing might delay your period further.
My theory is that since a lot of anime forums have more guys, shoujo is barely discussed and that's why a lot of people only know the cliches. Also the bad mistakes some female artists bring into BL, incorrect male anatomy and behaviour, that fuels the disdain. There might also a wish to be different and more sexually open than other girls.
But anyway, it's annoying when every series with cute guys has to be fujo and they can't just say "it panders to women in general.">>314210
I was on birth control and after our first attempt I researched possibilities of getting pregnant from pre-cum, hah. It's normal to feel that way because it's the way society scares us.
Relatable, I once was overcome with anxiety about being pregnant because of backsplash in the unisex toilet at work.
Go test yourself if you're so worried, though. It might ease the stress.
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I think my mom is (becoming) an alcoholic. Actually, both of my parents could be considered alcoholics as they drink larger amounts of wine every evening. However, as it has always been like that and they don't get drunk, I never questioned it.
The problem with my mom is that she started drinking secretly. I visit my parents often (moved out 6 years ago) and realized that she keeps going to the fridge during the day to drink from her white wine bottle. The kitchen is next to the living room where I usually hang out and I can hear when she opens the bottle, even though she always coughs slightly to cover the sound I think. I heard this the first time when there was a big family event she was nervous about, and I thought that drinking in the afternoon is a bit weird, but her being nervous kind of explained it. That was one year ago. When she calls me, her speech sometimes is slurred and she is super affectionate, which is untypical for her (she was never really able to tell me that she loves me, and when she does now, I can tell that alcohol is the reason). I also witnessed a very weird meeting with some of my parents' friends where she was obviously drunk, but that is the exception. She usually never seems drunk.
I am visiting my parents right now and she has been doing that "secretly drinking during the day" thing every day so far. I cringe whenever I hear the sound, but I somehow managed to ignore it. But when I was taking a bath earlier and searched for bath additive, I found an empty wine bottle that was hidden in her bathroom cabinet. At that point, I couldn't ignore it anymore and just started crying.
I really don't know what to do. My mother and I have a very hierarchical, rather distant relationship. If this was my father, whom I am very close to, I would probably sit down with him and try to talk about it. But with her, I just don't know how to do that. I like her because she always supported me, but I also have lots of issues with her as she did many wrong things to me when I was younger. At the same time, I feel sorry for her. And I don't want my parents to break up because she is an alcoholic – I'm not sure whether my dad knows, though. She always tries to seem controlled, too, and I know that voicing my concerns would embarrass her and probably result in a very awkward situation. But it is becoming more and more obvious to me. She keeps forgetting things that were told to her, keeps repeating the same stories over and over (yesterday she told us that the dessert glasses I brought could be used for drinks like, 10 times, even though I asked her to stop repeating the same sentence) and when I went shopping for my family yesterday, she actually wrote 4 bottles of white wine on the grocery list. No shame?!
I didn't even tell my boyfriend about it because I feel so conflicted. I didn't want to post it here, either, also because I know that some other anons have parents who are severe alcoholics/addicts and what's happening in my family seems pretty harmless, especially because my mom functions so well. But I had to tell this to someone.
Because they're self-loathing women, that's why. I also see fujos online getting into shipwars, and ones pulling out the "gay men like this ship, fujos like the other one" thing as some sort of "trump card" that they're ship is better.>>314176
I've actually seen people on /co/ trying to meme "hetshit" as an insult lately, and it just boggles my mind.>>314214>Also the bad mistakes some female artists bring into BL, incorrect male anatomy and behaviour, that fuels the disdain.
That's pretty funny considering, at least within the massive world of fan art, women draw better porn than men. Porn of men drawn by women is usually better than porn done by gay men. And straight porn done by straight dudes is just a whole different level of terrible.
Beards are great, stop hanging out with dirty people if you find them so filthy.
A man who bathed and doesn’t eat like an actual hog doesn’t have some swamp of disease growing on his beard.
Because the guy I'm seeing is growing a beard and I find them gross.
Any other questions, mini mod?
You're right anon, how could I be so stupid. Beards are the worse thing a guy can have, that's for sure. You were so right to post in a vent thread about it.
Btw, No-Shave November and Movember started as movements to support prostate cancer patients, but yeah, it's definitely just a dumb 'facial pube' meme.
Hey I appreciate your follow-up to let us know your opinion
about what I posted. It was a great contribution and we're all better off for it.
Most guys don't know that no-shave is about prostate cancer awareness and do it for a fad, but yeah. Growing facial pubes for a month is a real great way to really make an impact for those who struggle with cancer.
Except pink ribbons are usually bought in support and association for the Susan G. Komen research organization. At least when someone wears a ribbon they know what it's for.
Men who grow beards don't even know it's supposed to be for prostate cancer awareness.
Right. But don't ask me why anon's honing in on that other than trying to guilt trip me for hating beards. >Do you hate cancer awareness anon?
I don't have to assume that because that's literally what dudes have told me. They literally think it's a fad and have no clue where the original idea came from.
People could donate money with or without tugging each other's dicks over who can grow the longest beard. It's dumb.
So why are you dismissing my pov when I'm here telling you that most dudes I've interacted with don't think it's about cancer awareness?
Still don't like beards either way.
i agree with everything you said. why does anyone even find gross pubes covering someones face attractive?
its basically catfishing if you think about it. men reee all day about women covering their true face with makeup, but literally covering half your face with hair is completely fine apparently. i would not date a guy if he had a full on beard, i want to actually see his face.
Because they seem to not. >>314452
How's it a non issue?
How many men would whine if the women they initially were seeing suddenly did something bizarre with their hair and then shaved it off for cancer? Absolute bedlam.
>>314491>some trans women truly are mentally women and should be treated as such.
Girl, HOW. You should have stopped right after formulating this thought and then asked yourself what the hell that even means. There's no such thing as being 'mentally' any gender. You can mentally convince yourself you're another gender, that's dysphoria, but the brain itself isn't gendered. If it was, it still wouldn't manifest in the 'wrong body'.
You are clearly right on the verge of peak trans, don't fall for their sexist bullshit.
Unhinged because I don’t think a guy you’ve casually dated owes you daily shaving any more than you’d owe him shaved legs?
Nobody cares that you dislike beards, you’re obnoxious sperging out and acting like anyone should care. You sound like a basket case.
Idc if a bloke wants to wear a dress and snip his dick off but he still doesn’t belong in the ladies room.
I used to be way more accepting until seeing just how many trans expect a lot more than a place to pee and at the mall or gym.
nta but i think if you start dating a guy and you shave your legs, if they tell you they don't like unshaven legs, you make the call to keep dating them or not. and they'd be okay to tell you they want you to. same with beards or whatever.
i think it's stupid to assume your partner is just going to go with the flow on whatever you decide to do with your body. if this was something like tattoos or piercings i bet you wouldn't think op is "a basket case". beards are uncomfortable to kiss. just get over yourself.
Are you anons just dating shitty dudes? My guy doesn't care if I shave or not because it doesn't fucking matter. >>314509>if this was something like tattoos or piercings
Your significant other shouldn't get to decide what piercings or tattoos you get lmao.
I think anon is a basket case, and now you, because there is zero reason to be this worked up over beards. You literally never have to touch one, you can date people who dont have them, it’s just not a problem.
If they were somehow forced on you it would be worth complaining about but man, you guys are mad over nothing.
A handmaiden is someone who goes out their way to support men blindly, not sure why a handmaiden would make a post mocking women who do that >>314524
You're right, the fact the man hating thread is a controversial thread on an all female site proves the fact that men can't last one day as women, no wonder their suicide rates are so high, they've been babied all their life and now that reality is coming for them they don't wanna stay, sad!
And also. Reminder that some of worst posts here that pop up once a month are average posts that pop on reddit, 4chan, YouTube and social media comment sections daily if you switch "men" with "women". Too bad everyone is focused on the girl who hates men on lolcow and not the actual shit spreading through the internet everywhere we go and see
I'm sorry; I know being a support person can be really draining and exhausting.
I know you just moved, do you have any friends yet in the area? Maybe you could spend a day with a good friend to get out of the house/work/chore cycle and out of caretaking mode. If not, maybe you could do something out of the house for yourself for a day. If you have money for a massage, maybe get one? The most important thing is to give yourself time and space to do things for you.
I'm a turbo feminist, love my gender and I'm proud to be a woman. However, I'm also a massive fujo and you know why? >It's romance stories/porn made for women by women>No pressure from heteronormative gender roles assigned to women i.e. no "perfect female companion" trope >For some people the het otome stuff it can be intimidating/awkward to be forced to self-insert to the story, this doesn't exist in BL>The male characters are often very feminine-coded, not by appearance but by behavior and thought patterns>Sharing the fandom in a female-only/mostly female space with other women without men
It's not just about "huff huff hot men making out fuck girls I hate them ^w^". The "fujos hate women" is a stupid trope and only applies to those retarded fakeboi MLM types who want to be better than other girls, OR teenaged cringefest fujos who aren't really a realistic take on the whole issue. I actually see more otomefags shitting on fujos than fujos calling otome "hetshit" unless it's in an ironic sense.
No one is saying all fujoshi are like that.
However I'm in some fandoms with tons of male characters and damn they attract a lot of the misogynist fakeboi girls. Like another anon wrote they value men/male characters/male opinions over anyone/thing female despite being fangirls themselves. It's so sad, I need to vent about it.
Thank you. Really. But I don't think I can believe you. My brain is so fucked in that I'm still more willing to believe him than other people that have proof of me not being at least that
I wonder, why don't MtF trans people ever yell at males for fetishizing lesbians (or policing and fetishizing women's bodies in general)? If they put 1% of the energy they place on bashing TERFs into telling misogynistic, objectifying men to leave us all alone, maybe they'd pass a little better. But they don't, probably because many of them literally are
Back on the fujo/~*MLM*~ thing, it's almost like a lot of women are raised to feel that they have to prove themselves morally justified and pure in all they do (even if it means lying to others/themselves and attacking their own nature), while a lot of men are raised to not care, and just expect the world to readily see their actions as justified, no matter what they do.
Actually I have seen more than one male trans "girl" do the same thing. "Ugh don't fetishize lesbians! Fuck off men I'm a dyke!!"
If you read my post again you'll see that I said "some" fujoshi and pointed out how I have nothing against fun shipping until some people get aggressive about it. My post wasn't aboit fujos hating women, it was about the subset of fujos that do.
And I do encounter them on 4chan and tumblr, especially because there are also regular fangirls who think they're above fujos (see: that YoI interview translator who was nohomoing them for months) so I can see where the tension comes from. I can't stand either of these types, but since I ran into the first of those types yesterday I vented about them here.
Lol this happened to me, (as in I'm the person getting watched)
I got paranoid about it but also the paranoia was just related to general man-fear.
It could be their spideysense or it could be viewcounts or whatever each site provides in terms of analytics informing them of unusual activity. Instagram and Twitter both have detailed analytics.
Also they may be being stalked by several people at once and the others made contact.
In my case I have posted inviting people to like/comment/follow if they're checking my stuff, which seems to be helping. I don't care who reads/watches me as long as they say hi. It's not knowing who
it is that's creepy. I'm sure they wouldn't mind knowing it was you.
Semi-serious, but ask your mom if he's cute! My mom was always honest about my ex's appearances haha!
I'm sure he's cute, anon!
She’s insulting you and has no respect for your time or feelings.
Get rid of em anon. You deserve better than this from a friend.
I stalk people all the time and I've never had this happen.
I believe the only way to know if someone is stalking your profile on fb is if you participated in one of those "find out who's checking your profile!" sort of things on fb, because you'll be consenting to having that data shared with your friends. But if you haven't, then no one should know even if they signed up for that.
It sucks because I really wanted to have a good friend at school. I don't think she is malicious to me, just incredibly inconsiderate and un self-aware to everyone. For example, returning a drink because she didn't bother to read the menu.
I've been ghosted several times before and it sucks. I do think it's the decent thing to do to let her know. I don't think anyone in my life has gone this far with me.
I feel like my friend's attitude would make more sense if she was more popular and was more used to being treated in a special way. And if she was i would probably be more willing to put up with her behavior. But seeing her constantly trying to act like a rich hot sorority girl is just sad.
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how do you access instagram analytics? Do you have to have a large following?
Unrelated vent: I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over my relationship history. My first ever relationship was an abusive one, followed by one failed relationship after another. The last one being the most devastating, even more devastating than the one I was physically abused in. I found out I was being lied to about basically everything in our relationship and he got another woman pregnant behind my back, and then dumped me like a load of trash. Except he never formally dumped me, he told me he "needed a break" but still wanted to talk to me and be my friend, then completely stopped interacting with me and blocked me on all social media. I had no clue what was going on then weeks later a third party clued me in on the pregnancy and it was like everything fell into place. I told some people IRL about it and laughed it off but inside it still hurts knowing I was treated like that. I don't have any feelings for the guy anymore and I know things ended for good reason but I feel so unable to trust anyone especially in a romantic sense. And I know I have my own issues if I just keep attracting these kind of men but I don't know how to change that. I just feel like I'm unable to be truly loved but for some reason that's a major thing I want in life. Shit hurts man.
I bought a really fucking nice American Eagle parka from TJ Max at half price that was so incredibly warm, good quality and amazing in freezing temps but i had to move countries suddenly and had to leave my jacket behind because it was so bulky and its too warm in my homecountry to bither taking it.
I’m moving back there soon and really fucking regret getting rid of it.
Here's another thing to complain about. My friend had a facebook conversation with a guy I'm fwb. After that she decides it might be a good idea to sleep with him. So she asks me if I would give her my permission. Uhhh…
Then to make things worse, she decided after a month to ask me the question again.
Don't get me wrong I understand my fwb and I don't have a commitment and he can sleep with anyone he likes. But why the fuck would someone think it's a good idea to sleep with someone your friend is already seeing? Wtf.
Can't believe I forgot to mention this in my first post.
Relatable. I agree that the dating scene is hot garbage anymore. I had been in a relationship for years so I hadn't noticed how drastically things had changed until I broke up a month or so ago.
Online dating used to be my refuge because I always felt I could express who I was and build a rapport with someone as opposed to meeting someone blindly irl. But…everything online is basically like Tinder now unless you pay money. It feels shallow.
I look at people in my age group in committed relationships and they don't seem all that much more prettier, smarter, or accomplished than me. It's like finding the "right" person is an arbitrary matter more to do with luck and chance than anything. I find myself on guard even with the guys I've been successful in going on dates with recently, because I just expect them to screw me over eventually.
why the fuck not? you are not exclusive with him, she can do whatever if she finds him hot. It was nice enough of her to ask you. If you don't want such fuckery don't be fwb with anyone.
You are not tthe only one allowed to find him hot and fuck around, you know?
Don't get mad but fwiw, at least she was upfront with you about her intentions so you had the opportunity to say how you feel. Most backstabbers would never be truthful and would just sneak behind your back hoping you don't find out, no less over a fuckbuddy.
Honestly I don't think your friend is malicious, just an airhead and incompatible with you like you said. You don't have to be mean to end things with her, but just hang out less and over time the relationship will fade like most school friendships tend to.
Do you think there is anyone in the world ok with sharing fwbs? In either case nobody needs to ask twice about it. >>315372
I don't think she's a backstabber. I do think she's obtuse and pretty self-centered.
Huh, that sounds eerily similar to my experience except my bf constantly bitched when we'd do anything involving spending the money we saved, yet would have no problem blowing money on the high end Tokyo bars and alchy for himself. I planned the entirety of the itinerary by myself and did all the research, and he never once contributed except to bitch about the prices of things. He wasn't even grateful I had got first class tickets for the plane ride from my job since that was merely a "fringe benefit" so I had done nothing to earn them, he whined. He always tried to act macho and in charge when he fucking wasn't.
The kicker is a week after I took him to Japan I dumped his ungrateful ass
Not saying throw the hat in on your relationship, just that major international trips can bring out aspects about someone's character that may not bode well for future tribulations if you continue the relationship.
Doesn't matter as you set yourself up for failure by being fwb with that guy. If he wants to fuck her, he fucks her and you have nothing to say.
Kind reminder that you are not exclusive and you are not supposed to have feelings for each other. Why are you jealous about the dick? He is not your bf lmfao
FWB and polyamory are always such trainwrecks.
If they want to fuck then they don't have to ask me about it. Even if you're dating someone and they decided to fuck someone else and leave you, you can't do jack shit about it.
But I think the idea she thought I would say yes to such a request is bizarre. In any case why ask twice about any request when you were already told no?
I'm not poly at all. Not sure what that has to do with my situation. It's pretty normal for people to have fwb as opposed to being poly lol.
I assume she did not want to create an awkward situation where you are the only person in a room unaware that they fucked and wanted to be honest. About asking the second time… I don't know, she really wants to slobber all over the dick that you feel entitled to for no reason and asked hoping you changed your mind?
The difference between a normal relationship and fwb is that you are supposed to be exclusive. If your bf cheats, you drop his ass. With fwb you are not allowed to get emotional over someone else fucking your fwb. You just have to accept it and continue fucking your friend as usual.
You are not being honest with yourself. You sound jealous cause you put your hands over the guy first lol
Also remembered knowing someone who thought that fwb is a best type of relationship and he was very okay with fucking each of his female friends. So while fwb is certainely 'normal' for some, getting salty over sharing your partner (which you are not emotionally invested in, remember?) is not the point and a reason why those trainwrecks rarely work out as they should.
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Having no friends in university is so hard.
I think I know now what gives me the most anxiety when going there: I have to hold a presentation in nearly every single class. I absolutely dread having to do that because I'm a nervous wreck when speaking in front of people, but there's nothing worse than having to do a group project and not having anybody to be in a group with.
I'm usually in class super early, I always sit so that there's a seat free next to me and I never look at my phone, just sit there for half an hour until class starts, to appear more aproachable (I'm not, because I'm super tall with a resting bitch face).
Sometimes somebody sits next to me, but even if we talk it' s just always so awkward. Last week a girl sat next to me but mainly talked with the girl on her right. I was super nervous today, but surprise the girl came to sit next to me again, we even talked quite a lot (for my standards). But after talking about the project we have to do, she suddenly gets up goes to two other girls, seemingly her friends, and starts to talk with them about it.
I know I should just ask her to do it together, since she probably couldn't refuse, but I'm so shy and scared of being rejected or appearing needy or annoying.
When I just walk down the street and hear somebody laughing I'm scared that it's about me. I'm already in my 4th year, so I already gave up on ever finding friends, but I wished I was at least confident enough to be comfortable when alone and not sweating and nervous and feeling stared at. I admire others who are able to simply be on their own so much; like when they can freely smile at strangers, sit relaxed, unashamed of being in class without knowing somebody and just texting their bf. I don't even have somebody to text.
I also gained a lot of weight which further decreased my confidence, but when I put on makeup and compare myself to others, I sometimes feel like I might not even be that ugly. What if I still feel like shit after losing weight? I fear that I'm never going to be content with the way I look. It's embarrassing how vain I am, it's the only thing I can think about all day long (while not doing anything to loook better besides putting on mascara once in a while, the rest of my hygenie is shit).
>>315438>I assume she did not want to create an awkward situation where you are the only person in a room unaware that they fucked and wanted to be honest.
She's never met the guy, only talked to him on facebook once, and I don't think they are going to meet in person anytime soon because they live several hundred miles away. So it's not about avoiding a potential awkward situation.
> About asking the second time… I don't know, she really wants to slobber all over the dick that you feel entitled to for no reason and asked hoping you changed your mind?
I've already said it's not morally wrong for them to hook up. In any case she would be better off being friends with someone who thinks that's ok (which I still feel like isn't the majority of people) instead of an entitled person like me.
>The difference between a normal relationship and fwb is that you are supposed to be exclusive. If your bf cheats, you drop his ass. With fwb you are not allowed to get emotional over someone else fucking your fwb. You just have to accept it and continue fucking your friend as usual.
Why do I "have to" continue fucking my friend? You sound delusional.
>You are not being honest with yourself. You sound jealous cause you put your hands over the guy first lol
Uh yeah I am jealous when someone personal is involved. It's pretty normal. I never claimed to be not emotionally invested and you are putting words in my mouth.
Have you been burned by a fwb before? You sound a little bitter. Or really bitter.
In any case, we have a lot of different values. I wish she would recognize that and not try to see me anymore.
Samefag, wanted to add this:
I'm sure that not having friends also affects my grades; for one, I feel uncomfortable and therefore either skip classes or can't concentrate, and secondly, I don't have anybody to study together with or to just ask if I don't understand something. I'm worried I won't be able to graduate.
That really sucks anon. I know that feeling. I think you sound pretty depressed. Not really sure what is the best thing to do. I can't tell you that it will all work out. I never found the friend group I wanted in college but I did meet some friends in other ways. >>315452
I flunked my classes several times, partially due to being depressed from having no friends. But now my grades are much better. You never know anon. Just don't try to hole yourself up in your room and make sure you do some homework everyday. (I suck at this but it's the best way to succeed)
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i'm just really tired with how slowly the week has been going. it feels like it should be at least wednesday or thursday but it's only tuesday afternoon
It is a rule. Just not enforced, it seems. Which is weird because it's right above the rule written about male posting, which is enforced thankfully.
3.5c Don't engage in race-related arguments outside of dedicated threads. (racebaiting)
Maybe I am wrong, but I have always thought that being fwb is about having a stable sexual partner but ~omfg no catching feefees like ever!!! we are free and dtf anyone we like :3~. If your type of relationship is different, than I was obviously wrong with making assumptions.
Of course you can break up the fwb thing, I just meant that (again, my assumption) you are not entitled to have any say on their sexual life and make drama because they fucked someone you dislike (by which I mean you can, but your partner might see you as a clingy psycho or worry that you want an actual relationship with them).
Thank god I have not dabbled in fwb. If I sound bitter, that's cause my personal opinion is that is a fucking stupid arrangment but people can do whatever they want. Your post confirmed my bias, but again, maybe I am wrong about how your relationship works and so on.
Maybe your fwb is okay with you saying you feel jealous/hurt over a mere thought of him bedding a girl you know etc. It seems to me like a very unhealthy situation to be in cause you feel jealous but hey, he's not exclusive with you, so you kind of 'have no right' to expressing those feelings (beyond quitting).
With your explanation I see that it's really weird for your almost exfriend to be into this guy. I think that letting her know you have nothing in common and ending the relationship would be best for both of you. It sucks when someone tolerates you just to cut you off and you are ledt wondering for how long they were sick of you.
i'm in 4th year of 5 yr degree but in the same boat, anon. my degree doesn't have presentations but rather labs, however you have to work in couples or groups of 3 and i always just get seated w randoms since i have no friends. bit sad to think that i've gone through 24 courses, each having 2-4 lab partners on average, so like somewhere between 50 and 90 people, and have not managed to befriend a single one. i think i am pleasant enough, like i try to make small talk and ask about them and talk about safe normie topics and even if it feels like it is going somewhere, as the lab ends it's back to being strangers. at this stage people telling me that it is just random and surely i'll make friends at any moment now is a lie and this is obviously a me issue.
i've thought about joining societies but honestly it is way too intimidating at this point when i'm not a fresher anymore and i can't find anything that i could possibly be interested in anyway. and, even if i went, i think it would be fruitless bc most socialising is done through pub crawls and i have strong alcohol aversion due to family alcoholism history.
Don't join a sorority
Waste of my fucking time and money holy shit
You never have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. But I personally would rather do this than hook up with strangers. Everyone's different.
>It sucks when someone tolerates you just to cut you off and you are ledt wondering for how long they were sick of you.
Yah it sucks
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when i was around 14 i was a onion fangirl & i had a active tumblr acc where id occasionally post onion content. one day he started to reblog my posts & i was happy i had caught his attention. months passed by, he would sometimes reblog my posts. i sent him a message one day asking if i could be in his videos since we lived in the same state. he replied asking for my age & a picture of myself. i sent him a normal selfie & he asked if i have any full body pictures. from there i stopped messaging him. feels strange venting this off my chest, but it's something i think about sometimes..just thinking about what could've happened & ending up like sarah or something.
meh, he wasn't that
ugly years ago.
How do people think this won't happen? It completely blows my mind, it always happens yet when you point it out people call you a boring vanilla prude who's too 'jealous' and possessive.
On that note, I don't get people who vilify jealousy (within reason) as if it's the worst thing to be in a relationship. I'd get it if someone were violently jealous and controlling, but jealousy on its own is a normal human emotion when it comes to interpersonal relationships and everyone experiences it to some degree, I see so many people who try to prove a point by talking about threesomes and being bi and shit but would only ever do it to prove how much of a cool girl they are to their boyfriends and would feel uncomfortable the whole time.
As long as you communicate well with your SO, I don't see what the problem is if someone is a jealous partner. Of course I would mind if my bf gave some other girl more attention and time than me, why would I be with someone who is more emotionally invested in his female friends than his own gf?
I had falling out with a friend of 10 years and I need some validation because I'm not used to being mad at someone to the point I think this was it.
So last spring this performer announced a gig in our country and me and my friend are fans so we decided to go. And because we are not rich, and for me because I travel so little it's sad, and it takes 7 hours in train and that's a lot here, we decided to stay 4 days. Or rather 3 days because of train schedules we could be there half a Sunday and until Wednesday afternoon.
My friend was going to see her long distance boyfriend after, which is also why I too had to leave early on Wed, because my friends I could have met were busy since it wasn't a holiday or anything. Well I've been on the train happily looking forward to our trip for 4 hours or so and she texts me telling she will leave on Tuesday morning because she wants to spend more time with her boyfriend.
Well I am furious. Not only does it mean most of our plans will get cancelled because half of the trip is gone I feel like she either did not think about my feelings at all or decided to ignore them. And like I said we have been friends for ten years, half of our lifetime, she knew I'd have to go home, she knows I don't have friends all over the country. I cannot imagine she could have possibly thought I was okay with this.
Part of the reason I'm So Angry and offended is that we have been friends for 10 years. She has Known her bf for what, five or six months?And I feel like I deserve more honestly. I feel like she doesn't care about me as much as I wanted her to and thought she did. And yes, no one is obligated to care about me at all, but I also don't have to swallow ignoring my feelings. And it isn't the first time my plans get changed last minute because of her but never to this scale. This is kind of irrelevant but I keep recalling so many things that make me wonder why we were friends for so long, she is pretty draining person.
Still I can't shake off the feeling that I'm overreacting and not allowed to be angry and offended.
Dunno how to say it without making it sound like women have no agency, but I feel like we are getting duped with the fwb thing. Not saying women can't enjoy sex but usually it's men who benefit the most from such relationship. They basically get a prostitute they do not have to pay for and can drop at any time when they find a women worthy of the girlfriend status in their eyes.
Women have so much more to lose when it comes to casual sex and making it fwb is even worse, in a way, as there is such huge chance of falling in love with the other person and feeling used and discarded once it suddenly ends.
I have to walk 30-40min to my university campus 5 days a week which doesn't bother me, i choose to walk over bus or anything because I like the exercise and it wakes me up more in the morning.
Anyway I just can't stand, mostly people of the ages 40+, who think they're boss of everything because they're ""older""
I'm 21, final year of university, I refuse to be late to my classes and consider myself late if i'm not at least 10 mins early. I'm paying for this education after all.
Here's a list of stuff that pisses me off on my daily walk:
>If you're walking slower than me, thats fine. Just don't block my path If i say "excuse me" I expect you to move out of my way, if you don't after the second "excuse me" I will push my way through you
>If you have a pushchair with a child, don't park it in the middle of a path or aisle and have a chat with someone else, you're in the way, move to the side and chat, it's common courtesy
>If you smoke while walking in busy/crowded areas in the city you're a fucking cunt. People like to breathe real air. Again, move to the side and some, it's common courtesy.
>Bonus: Smoking single mums with pushchairs blocking paths who refuse to move out of the way for anything and anyone. They then scoff at you for trying to get past them in a timely manner
I'm sorry for the petty vent but this shit pisses me off.
What if you want to fuck a guy regularly but arent attracted to a guy romantically at all?
I hooked up with a guy a couple of times last year before leaving for winter break. The sex was pretty good but i didnt like his personality. He was kind of boring and we didnt have much in common. I was going to offer him being fwb but i havent had a chance to see him in person since then. I;m in a similar situation with a guy who is pretty nice but again not my type personality wise because he is kind of boring.
Couples are the worst.
I don't give a fuck about how lovey-dovey you feel, can't you just quit walking next to each other and therefore blocking the whole path for one second to let me pass?! Old people too, but at least being slow is not their fault.
Mostly Men for me too, I'm a very quick walker if you're not going to move out of my way politely I will shove past you. I got places to be.>>315797
Elderly get a pass in my books, it isn't their fault after all but I agree with the couples thing. When i'm with my bf I make sure i'm not blocking the whole path to people can get past.
I've found the worst age is early 20's mum with no baby daddy and anyone from the ages of 35-50. The worst are the ones who can't text and walk so they stop suddenly on the street, walk off to the side or something so people dont walk into you?
idk it wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't in a crowded city but damn it pisses me off more than it should
i relate to you so much anon. i'm a smoker myself, but fuck people who smoke while walking (fuck me if i'm doing it sometimes when i'm particularly pissed) and FUCK smoker moms. once i was at an airport smoking room and this woman walked in with her child that couldn't be older than 4 years old. if you've never seen a smoking room, it's a small, very
crowded space filled with dirt, smoke, basically designed to make you hate yourself. some people gave her a dirty look, and she just shrugged her shoulders and went "well, what can i do?" not have children dumbass. i felt so bad i got out of the room without finishing my own smoke.
you don't know ANY details of the situation, but you jump to calling me a bad pet owner? first of all, he's a senior dog who DOES have health problems, and a history of aggression. i have NO CHOICE. have you ever owned a dog?
i have tried everything in my power and he still attacked, which means according to the fucking law, not my personal choice, he has to be put down. do you understand that? he's on record as being aggressive. has to be put down. so i should never own another pet because of a heartbreaking situation I had with ONE pet? do you not think this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do? are you retarded? you can't just give an aggressive dog away. please stop.
Those pharma meds are bs money grabbers which is why they're not helping you and in fact could be making you feel shittier and killing your motivation. Get off them asap.
It sounds like you need to take care of yourself before you continue schoolwork. People are pressured to go to college right out of high school and some aren't ready for it.
(( novel incoming, sorry girls ))
my bf and i are trying to save money for a big move next year, which means going out less. i’ve mostly stopped going out so much but my bf has not. i try to encourage him during the day, but when he gets off work, i’m going in to work, and he goes out.
we usually do the same thing every night we go out, but my bf suggested we try to switch it up and go to a town about an hour away some time. a few friends live out there and the fair was happening around my birthday, so i asked if we could go as a little treat. he agreed (more like a “yeah”) and i told him we’d try for the next weekend.
the night before our mini-trip, he goes out. i ask him to please not get too drunk. he gets too drunk of course and is extremely hungover the next day. all of the sudden, the drive is so long and he’s acting like he really doesn’t want to go. even though he’s been advocating going out there for weeks now, acting like it’s not that far (which it really isn’t). pretty much the whole ride over is silent and it takes him a while to warm up to friends once we arrive. he just sat on his phone the majority of the time and wouldn’t really let me get close to him.
it was frustrating! i thought maybe i had pushed him too hard, but i had an awfully disappointing birthday for years and i’ve let people walk all over me, and yet i still did a little for him by thinking he would enjoy going out too. it feels like once anything becomes my idea, he suddenly hates it or seems less enthusiastic.
a few weeks ago, my bf got really excited over a halloween themed show a few hours away. he threw out an idea for a couple costume (the first time we’ve ever done this!! i was secretly excited, i’ve been craving to do corny stuff with him) and seemed set on it. for weeks, i said we should start looking for our bits and pieces. i encouraged him to go out while i picked up my pieces, so we wouldn’t be rushing last minute. i’ve bought my pieces and have even offered to buy his costume, as his paycheck doesn’t come until right before the show.
now, all of a sudden, he’s saying he’s not sure if he really wants to go because he doesn’t wanna blow his paycheck…. but it’s his fault. i’ve stopped going out so much, been frugal with my paychecks, and put tons away in savings now that i’ve stopped going out as much. he keeps going out and drinking with our friends almost every other night (which scares me, but he has issues that he’s (barely) coping with and won’t let me help so i feel like he’ll go crazy if he doesn’t drink….) and has been for weeks and complains about being broke. i have no problem helping him out with gas or food or drinks, he knows that. plus, i already asked for the weekend off and bought my costume online. i feel like maybe he is depressed or overwhelmed, but he’ll never admit that and even if he did, he wouldn’t accept the help.
(he really does have a drinking problem…. he doesn’t get violent or belligerent but it does scare me how drunk he gets. and when he gets too drunk, i can’t stop him. he’ll find some way to keep drinking.)
It sounds like you two should put the breaks on this 'big move' and get yourselves on the same page. You're clearly more committed to this move than he is, as evidenced by his inability/want to save money. You acknowledged that he has a drinking problem and that certainly won't stop when you two move in with each other.
>once anything becomes my idea he doesn't wanna do it
He clearly doesn't respect you or your efforts. My ex used to do this with me and over time it made me lose confidence in my decisions because they were "never good enough" because I made them. Honestly anon, your bf is a hardcore dud and I would heavily encourage you to leave him. You have a long life ahead of you and you don't need to be held back by some shitty alcoholic manchild who is going to be financially, emotionally, and mentally draining you for as long as he can milk it. Leave him, cut off contact, and keep saving money for yourself and what you want to do.
You need to have a serious talk with him about drinking and finances, if you're not united in these two things. i.e. you want to buy a house but he doesn't, you want him to stop drinking, but he doesn't see a problem, then it's not going to work anon. Relationships take two people to work and it seems like this is mostly you pushing forward with your goals while he is along for the ride.
He's a human being and has motivations the same way you do, and you need to find out if those motivations and reasons are going to be a dealbreaker.
there are so many red flags in this post, so many that it's scary. I really hope you wise up and leave him because things are only going to get worse when you move.
source: dated an alcoholic manchild and didn't listen when people told me not to move in with him, all my savings gone.
your boyfriend would be perfect for that autist in red flags thread who thinks being in contact w your partner more than twice a week is a red flag kek
but seriously, talk this out with him, it is perfectly normal to want to hang out with your bf more frequently than people normally see their coworkers kek, you are not being clingy, rather he sounds cold and distant. also is there a specific reason why it is only him who decides when you hang out? are there any ways you could make other friends?
I tried bumble thinking oh, how nice, what a cool idea that guys can't just randomly start a chain of sexually harassing messages with me. Sure, there's still gonna be fuckboys, but it can't just be a fucking sea of them far as the distance settings you set will go, can it?
Oh. It can. Every single fucking message i sent that was 100% neutral, like just "hi," was 3 messages in met with implicit or explicit invitations to hook up. And not even fucking classy ones!
"Hurr will you sit on my face" (after i sent a message basically welcoming him to our state and saying he should stay because its pretty great here because his profile invited people to say why he should)
"I'm looking for someone to please me" (after i said hi, gave him a polite compliment, and asked him what he was looking for in a date, then escalated to him throwing a little shit fit when i said i was looking for a relationship)
"I'm looking for a relationship. Not necessarily serious but I'm not looking for hookups" "oh. Well hit me up when you feel like having fun" (implying I'm a frigid unfun bitch for not consenting to immediately jumping on his dick)
I could go on.
I give up and will invest a decent amount of money into mechanical companionship.
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I've been working for a month now in an internship and I don't understand my coworkers who are also interns who stay at work a little more than planned. Why the fuck would you stay at work for 7h and a half instead of 7 hours a day like described on your contract when you're paid less than half of the legal minimum wage? Especially when most workers are paid a lot more than the minimum wage and get bonuses all the time? Fuck that shit, I'm doing the bare minimum and saving my time and energy for other, more important things.
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This anon again.
The AC ended up not getting fixed till this morning instead of Monday like they said…Anyways I'm just glad it's over with.
Pretty rural area with most immediate local options being the opposite of what I'm into. I probably would do this in another context, as is, it does at least offer a quick guide as to whether the local or close enough guy has enough in common to be worth a shot.
I'm not against dating people outside "my type" per se, but an ultra conservative hardcore evangelical Christian kinda dude whose only interests are sportsb guns, and the outdoors and i will simply not get along.
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Happy 4 u, nigga. Stay cool……..
I feel your pain anon. I'm in a similar situation and don't trust them, they are never interested in me or I got cut off, ignored or talked over whenever I said anything that wasn't of their interest. Some of them are extremely dumb and immature, gossipers and generally shallow so I lowered contact.
What about having a talk with them about how you feel? But if you think they won't listen to you perhaps it's time to find new friends, slowly drifting away from them or lowering contact. Also, it could be that your personalities are too different and these friends aren't necessarily bad ones but not suited for you.
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I wish my mom and stepdad would break up, they argue so much and he's never going to change, I keep telling her this. She's the one who pays all the bills anyway, I don't get why she stays with him if he's not going to even listen to how she feels. I just walked into the kitchen where they were at and all of a sudden they started yelling at each other. I was sort of surprised and stood there watching (I wasn't thinking) and my stepdad looks over at me and yells at me to go to my room and starts ranting about privacy or whatever. I'm 18 but when stuff like this happens I feel like a helpless little girl. I wish I could do more to help my mom.
I'm so sorry to hear this, anon!! I went through a similar situation. My parents divorced when i was 6 and my mom basically got remarried when i was a teenager.
Unfortunately, your mom wont listen to you and probably never will. I had to leave home asap. It makes me said cuz moms should always put their kids first and i hear awful stories about stepdads being abusive or worse.
I hope she'll leave him soon, but i wouldnt hold my breath
We are all going to different universities so there's no danger of us not drifting apart lmao. I don't know if I can't trust myself to make friends at uni but I absolutely need to try.
Fact is it's enjoyable to spend time with these people but it's impossible to talk about more serious things. Everytime I tried tp be consoled I ended up feeling somehow worse
The fuck? Of course having your child's dad walk out on you and leave you in financial/social despair is fucking traumatizing. >>316440
This. jfc the robots here are retarded
Thanks anon, They've been together for 10 years but I didn't start living with them until 7th grade bc my mom was addicted to drugs, obviously she relapsed while I was living with them. I moved back into my grandparents about 3 years later and finished high school living there. But my grandfather and grandmother eventually started abusing alcohol (my grandfather was sober for years idk what caused them to start drinking again) so bad that it was holding me back so now I'm living with my mom again. She moved away when we left and got sober so I'm really proud of her of course.
She's got a good paying job and is supporting us. (My step dad is on disability but only pays the phone bill) he doesn't do anything around that house, like at all. The only thing he does is drive her to work. And my mom only gets one day off a week so I try and do as much as I can for her, like asking her what needs to be cleaned so she doesn't have to worry about it. My stepdad can just be very mean spirited and gets offended very easily, meaning we can't have a normal conversation without him yelling at us and getting pissed. He's 6'5 (not exaggerating) and probably over 300lbs so he scares me very badly. He's never gotten physical with me but he throws things and kicks things. I don't know if he's ever hit my mom for sure but I have suspicions.
I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells lately waiting for the next fight to happen. He won't ever see my mom's point of view so I think they're just doomed to always disagree. I just want better for my mom, she works so hard to provide for me and to see her like this breaks my heart and there's only so much I can do. In the morning they'll just pretend the fight didn't happen, he won't change and she'll get tired of dealing with it again and the cycle will repeat. (This is super long so sorry about that, I just needed to put down my thoughts)
oh anon please stop!! this isn't helping you and you know it. binging happens with extreme restriction and this cycle is only fucking up your body more. it's gonna grab onto anything it can if you keep doing this.
but i'm really sorry this is happening to you right now. it's fucking miserable to be where you are. please eat moderately and forget about your size and weight for a little bit while your body gets back to grips with your hunger and natural eating habits. then maybe you can do something about it in the future.
peppermint tea might help your digestion a little bit if you have any around. rest up anon :(
Actually I thought it was encouraged to sporadically have higher calorie days to reset your metabolism, but like most things related to diet and weight, the science is inconclusive. Everyone’s body is different and reacts differently to calorie restriction.
You say you aren’t an ana-chan but this is ana mentality. Food is one of the few joys life has to offer, and depriving yourself of good times makes like bleak. You fed yourself fish and chips while having a fun time with family. You deserved that food and the good memories you made while eating it.
Anon, I used to be a literal anachan and let me tell you, it's not what you want. Yeah, it might make you thin, but it'll also make you hairy (google lanugo), spotty, and greasy.
You will do better if you don't hold yourself back from eating things you enjoy, but enjoy them in moderation. Have fish and chips, but have a smaller portion. Exercise for half an hour each day. Have something healthy for breakfast, like some fruit. Cut out soda and have water instead. That's the way to sustainable weight loss without turning yourself into a cross between a yeti and a skelly.
From another anon I think this is pretty solid and simple advice.
My other tips are try to eat a lot of protein (like 2 eggs for breakfast) because it will fill you up. If you have soda, you don't have to cut it out ASAP. You can wean off on diet soda. And it's fine to have a cheat day a week with your family.
Also be sure to take things slowly and sustainably.
I'm a little sad that people can't seem to understand that you can be thin and not have to hate food. Food and eating out are some of the biggest joys in my life. I just have to do it responsibly.
I didn't even know they were rebooting it and holy shit this sentence alone made me cringe:>But watching Netflix's reboot, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, you realise that the much-loved teen sitcom has been replaced with something a lot darker and scarier.
They're literally taking the fucking riverdale route lmao, it's getting so goddamn old. >That's not the only difference - the modern Sabrina is as Kelly-Leigh puts it, "woke". She's a feminist icon for a new generation of teens and is not afraid to question the archaic rules of the satanic cult she's a part of.
Oh great, it's the Emma Watson Sabrina. This is also getting ridiculously old and an obvious virtue-signaling, cheap cash-in for the WOKE audience that's never going to watch the series past the first episode anyway.
And they removed Salem, literally the best thing about the original show. Fuck this reboot.
sure thing anon, some actual quotes from the show:"you mean like a club to topple the white patriarchy?""he wouldn't let me start a daughters of the black panthers club last year"WICCA club: women's intersectional cultural and creative association
And other less cringey stuff but more regularly, and I have only seen the first episode so far so idk if it goes away. Definitely written by twitter feminists
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Ulllllg I'm so horrible and my life is a mess and I'm always paranoid everyone is judging me. I'm struggling so much to get over this and invest my mental energy into bettering myself. I'm also constantly worried something horrible will happen. I want to move away and have nothing to do with my home town and start over.
I have almost no filter when I talk about shit. I can't keep secrets, even my own. It doesn't even occur to me I'm sharing things about myself that are especially prone to judgement until after the fact then I obsessively worry about it.
I'm a NEET living off my husband. I'm going back to school in the spring and I'm so worried about fucking that up and wasting his money.
I'm fat. I only need to lose like 30 lbs, but I don't even have the discipline and willpower to do that and I dress eat junk food like crazy.
I don't do anything useful hardly at all and I'm not remotely interesting.
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I had a date with a cute guy yesterday. I had a really good time and thought we had a nice conversation, but when we said goodbye he just hugged me very quickly was like "Maybe see you again sometime. Keep in touch" which seemed like a huge blowoff :(. He hasn't texted me since (it's been exactly a day) and I don't think he will.
I've been single for 3 years now and this same thing keeps happening to me. At this point I'm pretty sure I myself am the reason why guys are never really interested in me. Also I am wondering why my judgement is always so off. I always think the date went great but then the guys don't seem to think that way at all.
I just want someone to be as excited about me as I am about them for once..
being an unmotivated NEET is self fulfilling because the brain wants what it's become accustomed to, especially if your life is objectively comfy. as a human designed to survive hardship, your brain is like "you're telling me we found the perfect shelter with all our basic needs met? why the FUCK would i get up and use up my energy for no reason? we're staying right here bitch"
you need to trick your brain into hard work again lol. like, when i have a job, i end up doing way more productive shit in my free time than when i was a NEET, even though i have less time. if you get used to having one consistent activity, it's much easier to add others as well.
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OH ANON, I had this exact problem recently and I'm still upset over it. It's like you're cute enough to score a date but something about your personality ruins it. But they act nice so you can never identify the issue! wtf men! I spent so long being ugly and having that be an issue, only to overcome it and realize my personality is apparently fucked.
I wish they'd just be honest, I'm tempted to ask the next one what's wrong with me lmao.
It's not exactly "good" to hear someone has the same issue, but it is comforting in a way to know I'm not the only one. I wish you luck in finding a bf who gets you.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one having this problem!
I've thought about straight up asking them too, but I guess the chances that they will actually give an honest answer are close to zero..
I keep wondering if he thought I was ugly or obnoxious or whatever :(.
Eh I'm getting near my 30s and for both of your sakes I'm gonna say that i think from all my experience it kinda just boils down to meeting the wrong men and you simply weren't compatible or when it was obvious you aren't vulnerable enough to agree to putting out in a one sided arrangement they bailed.
Self improvement is great and definitely worth your time, but men being…Like that makes it kinda difficult to say whether you'd ever get an honest answer from asking. Whether because most people in general would rather avoid hurting peoples feelings like that or because they were hiding ill intentions anyway.
But whatever it is you just can't let yourself focus on it for your own mental health. Harder said than done and i still struggle. But you just have to keep in mind that well, if all that was true that they're not compatible or you both have different end goals then they just weren't for you and you're better off.
Have some indulgent date-less nights and fall in love with yourself again, corny as that sounds, and i guarantee you'll feel a lot better.
Because being financially dependent on someone is a shitty feeling for me. Especially when my husband only makes enough for us to get by and if I was working a decent job we would be very comfortable.>>316641
Yeah, I'm hoping going to college will help me reprogram my brain to work that way.
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I'm kinda in the same situation where I'm financially dependent on my bf who I've lived with for 3 years, and I feel like I'm not doing enough to better our situation because I'm stuck in a cycle of depression and smoking pot every day just so I don't break down over how dull life seems since to me it just boils down to constantly paying bills and being miserable over how expensive it is just to fucking survive.
We both moved to another country recently, thanks to a connection I had, and things aren't working out as great here as I thought (the country we left still sucks ass though and I wouldn't go back). He has a good degree and great experience working in a serious company which he left to move here, and now I'm regretting it because he can't find work here yet and neither can I and we keep living off his savings.
I wasn't as lucky and didn't manage to get any impressive education or work experience and I'm 25 so I'm limited to bullshit retail jobs, and even there I get rejected. The economy is fucking bullshit and I'm sick of thinking of how much we have left to pay rent and bills for until the scary probability of moving back just because he could probably go back to working at the same company. And even if that happens, it basically means he wasted all his savings to dick around doing nothing in an expensive rental apartment in another country while supporting a hopeless mental piece of shit aka me.
I just feel trapped cause it's too late and not financially possible for me to get any better credentials to then find better work, but even if I did it's discouraging as fuck when even someone with a much more impressive CV than mine keeps getting rejected anyway. Not to mention my mental health got to the point where nothing in life seems worthwhile and I have no career ambition in the first place.
pic related i guess
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The fact that this happened in an area SO close to where my family lives is so fucking terrifying, and just confirms to me that white supremacists are a serious danger, no matter what anyone else tells me. That could have been my family target and it angers me.
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>tfw I think I got love bombed
I met this attractive guy a couple of weeks ago. We hit off real nice, the sex was great, and he seemed real eager to want to hang out/send me pics/talk about future plans/fb call me a lot. He even dropped the 'love you' a few times, and I was honestly so giddy that I couldn't help but fall into habit of saying it back.
I never expected anything too too serious from this, and while he's attractive I don't think we have a super lot in common. But I resolved to just enjoy the attention and not get attached right away.
Something changed within the past week where now he doesn't do any of that at all. I try to initiate but it's just not the same. Maybe it's coincidence of him having stress and working a lot. Yet the sex has been kinda bad because he'll lose boner about 20 minutes in and not come, just as a tmi example.
He seems distant now in general.
He hasn't really done or said anything mean like a typical bomber suspect, but there's a noticeable drop in communications and expression. It feels like the carpet got pulled from beneath me. While I'm not insanely hurt by it…I'm disappointed I guess. I didn't want the feeling to be over so soon.
Has my novelty as a new love interest just ran its course? Is it over already? It came and went like a matchstick.
Sorry but this is a waste of time for everyone involved. If he says nothing, he did not like anon enough. He might push himself to go out of pity or cause he's bored but there is a small chance he will change his mind and see anon as a dating option.
Speaking from experience here.
>>316706>a couple of weeks>mentioning love>already has trouble in bed
You got yourself a love-bomber with probable mental issues. That ia not
how to have a casual fwb. And that is not how to have a normal relationship either. It seems like a couple of weeks is all anyone can last at that level of intensity.
Wish guys wouldn't shoot themselves in the foot like this. If he just calmed down and took it easy you could have fun for longer.
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I was supposed to escape years of psychical and mental abuse to move to my ldr-boyfriend, yet now I realize that I don't and I am not going to have any currency for the tickets… All thanks to my parents who kept drinking out all the money that I got from work, and now all I need is to buy myself packages and pay for a fucking dentist, including many other medical stuff so I would actually get rid off everything. And no matter how hard and how many working hours I would get, I wouldn't be able to pay for the tickets because they are too damn expensive. I don't know what to do, I am completely lost. He doesn't have money for my ticket because he bought new apt. I mean—he does has currency from the time when he visited my country, but that might be a problem because they are not exchangable to EU in his country, plus idk if he'll be able to throw em on my credcard. But the main problem is that i am too afraid to tell that I fucked up and it all got ruined by 0 help from people around me, because all i think about that it's only my own fault and i dont want him to force himself to spend money on me once again. I am so scared and lost. So sorry for this messy message, but i am too full of emotions and idk what to do.
Not a weird panromantic asexual whatever the fuck but i have some insight here.
I'm a dreaded bi that has tended toward men and lately I've been noticing, if i go into dating apps for example, and find a potential bi woman, i just…immediately write it off. Its never an attraction thing, I'm attracted to so many women, i love women, and I've definitely loved loved loved the rare times I've dated another woman or had sex with one. I finally got around to figuring out that its that heteronormativity bullshit.
Basically, I'm getting all hung up with internalized homophobia and my self esteem issues, and if it's not the scary trying to be more out about being bi and actually seriously dating women and then dreading the judgement + issues, its being utterly convinced by years of misogynistic subculture osmosis and formativev experiences of being forcibly outed and bullied by straight women for being bi in high school that they won't like me anyway or will horribly reject me. Lots of straight girls playing a really horrible game with me in the past where they would confront me on the subject of whether i was attracted to them. As you can guess, either answer was a losing situation, and it was a shit show. Running to an internet culture that had room for some queerness helped to cope for sure but also created that osmosis of misogynistic bullshit.
So its like, dang, as an older adult women now i feel is the time to really try dating other women. But THE STRUGGLE.
Also don't want to be that gross bi by adding this, but i do truly like dick too much. I consider it a real problem lmao. Sigh.
So i mean. If it wasn't tumblr weirdness it could just be all that too. Being bi is weird and complicated.
Oh I get where you're coming from and your story is almost identical to mine, the internalized homophobia&misogyny and even impostor syndrome ("not gay enough") is real in a lot of bisexuals and a lot of us restrict ourselves to straight relationships only because of the social stigma and judging affiliated with being gay, even in 2018. I've had both straight girls and lesbians give me shit for being bi. Even this board has some militant lesbians screeching about how bisexuals are basically predators and fetishists and whatnot and then again straight people claiming that bis are all faking it for attention.
But that's pretty much credited to the straight girls who "have" to be non-straight in certain communities to be accepted or simply because they legitimately think they're gay for having platonic girl crushes. It's a bunch of bullshit and it benefits nobody, you can be a straight ally just fine without having to describe yourself without this retarded "panromantic asexual demigirl" word salad because you thought a victoria's angel lingerie model was hot.
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it's Saturday night and I want a drink so fucking bad I'm afraid I'm gonna do it, I can't stop thinking about it but I'm trying to stop, its only been a week.
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I'm in a relationship with a man, but I don't feel sexual attraction to him anymore.
I've been with him for 3 years, and at the start of our relationship, I was 15 and he was 22 and I was hypersexual due to years of grooming. We did a lot of things we shouldn't have for a while but for the last year I just lost all sexual attraction to him.
I like girls. I don't feel attracted to men at all anymore. Like, not at all. Dicks are gross. Men as people are gross. He's been abusive to me multiple times and threatened me and done awful things to me. Yet other times, he's wonderful and caring and the best person to me that I could've ever asked for.. he's just not a female.
He constantly tries to do sexual things with me and makes sexual remarks and I tell him to stop, and he gets bitchy when I tell him I'm serious and uncomfortable. I think it hurts his feelings and I hate that.
I care about him like a close friend. He's been shit to me sometimes, but I still care about him. And I still love him, just not sexually. I'm not happy. He keeps me just because he buys me things.. if he didn't do that I'd be far away from him. I don't have a job right now so he's my only financial support.
I feel so trapped. I just want a cute girlfriend. I don't want to be with him but I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Just kill me now. I really don't know what to do.
girl i am so sorry. the man is predatory trash and you know it.
you are extremely young, are you living with your parents or with him? if with your parents, drop his ass and look for a job. If you are not living with parents, can you go back to them or live with a friend or non-abusive family member? Any women's shelters near you?
You have to drop him, but also stay safe
I know he is.. borderline pedophile since he knew how young I was. And he's obsessed with calling me child-like and small and things like that. It really creeps me out and I did ask him to stop and he did, but I can't brush the thought of his pedophilic tendencies. I actually told him that so many people told me that I should avoid him because of how he treats me like a child, and he was basically like "well who cares what other people think??"
I live with my parents thankfully, not him, he tried to move me in with him but I told him I just wasn't ready for that.
I really, really want a job but I don't have time for one and no where will hire me. I'm a full-time student so I only have so many free hours and the hours I have are practically worthless when I can only work 3 hours a day or less. I also can't even drive to a job. I do art commissions on the side but that's not sustainable at all and isn't something I can rely on.
I might see if anywhere would be willing to hire me, but I have no experience and little time, so it just doesn't seem possible. I feel like until I get a job I'm trapped with him for finances. Unless I want to give up all my sources of happiness (clothes, vintage stuff, and merch) just to get away from him.. I sound like a gold-digger but I enjoy collecting things, and without money, I can't buy anything for myself. That's the #1 reason I'm with his nasty ass.. and also that I'm delusional enough to care about his feelings.
I'm attending a private highschool and I'm graduating in June. Our school is so small there are no job openings besides cleaning (which already has multiple people). The pay is awful for cleaning, like, less than 5$ an hour shitty pay because it's not an "official" job, just helping out. And working say, 2 hours a week is less than 10$ a week so.. really not much to even be worth it. It's something, sure, but I don't even think they're accepting anyone new to clean right now.
I guess if I applied at enough places they'd accept me, but I just don't really have time between classes and studying and homework. Doubt anywhere wants to hire someone for so little hours.
>>316880>I live with my parents thankfully, not him, he tried to move me in with him but I told him I just wasn't ready for that.
Wtf? You are literally not financially dependent on him at all. I'm utterly confused as to how you came to that conclusion. Wanting luxuries like>clothes, vintage stuff, and merch
is NOT financial dependence, it's being a spoiled child. DUMP HIM. You have absolutely no excuse, you are a teenager and you do not need that shit, you should be working at fucking McDonalds if you're still in highschool.
I seriously can't believe what I'm reading. I felt really sorry for you because he sounds awful and I'm disgusted by pedos, but you really need to get some perspective and grow up.
A noticeable gap in your resume is like 5 years of doing absolutely nothing. I've had friends get a job after 6-12 months of looking for one. I take part in the recruiting process at my job at times and I barely even look at the job dates of the applicant, I'm more interested in what they did when working.
However don't get too accustomed to NEETdom, it's a lot harder to adjust back to working life if you don't keep yourself busy. But don't stress too much, if you gotta make the best of the situation just enjoy the free time you'll have to improve your skills and concentrate on hobbies while looking for work etc.
I'm kind of sick of the expectation that people's insecurity about their looks deserves a tonne of coddling. If you're fucking 103lbs at 5'6, you know damn well you are thin af and nobody thinks you're big and manly. Anon has an ED, she needs to find proper ED support, but in general people want to be the skinniest, prettiest, most perfect girl and throw themselves a pity party when they aren't. Being mediocre is okay for other
girls but not them, they have to be the best just to be good enough. We all get sad about not being a 10/10 instagram model sometimes but dwelling on it is not genuine insecurity, it's vanity and greed.
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You're not alone, anon. I know that feeling well. I'm not really considered "dark-skinned" by black standards (just by every other race's, lmao), but I think any black girl who's not super light-skinned is subject to that sort of thing. I've never been mistaken for a man once in my life, but I have body dysmorphic disorder, and all the racist memes and insults eventually get to you and make you paranoid, you know? It hasn't been easy, but I'm slowly learning you don't actually have to look like a small loli to be feminine. It's one way, but you don't spontaneously become a man without it. It definitely helps to surround yourself with images of pretty/cute/beautiful black women (not just the hyper-sexualized ones we see all over the media. The "tan/dark skinned beauty" thread in /g/ is a good start IMO), be around people who do see you as cute and feminine (like my boyfriend), and dress in ways you find cute/feminine.
I actually think black women are more naturally womanly, with pear-shaped/hourglass figures (I've noticed from looking at black thinspo that whether thin, "thicc" or even fat, black women are almost always shapely in some respect. It's all bone structure), a slower aging process (and nice skin in general), and naturally lush lips. Women from other walks of life funnel insane amounts of money into artificially getting all these features we are born with, but we're supposed to be "manly"? Okay. I remember one study that claimed we have more estrogen and testosterone on average, and racists would deliberately omit the part about estrogen so they could go "See!! Most testosterone! Black women are basically men!" just to boost their point. It's dumb.
It's also important to remember none of the "Black women are manly" shit is true. There is no scientific basis, it's just racism and dehumanization used to justify treating us like we deserve harsher, more callous treatment than women of other races. It goes hand in hand with the "angry/sassy black woman" and "independent black woman who don't need no man" stereotypes. Somehow, though, """manly""" black women were historically made to be nannies who took care of white women's children, to the point of breastfeeding them, and the "motherly, soulful black woman who can cook" stereotype is also still a thing. It's just not sensible, so don't lend it any more of your energy.
I guess all I'm really saying is: It's not just you going through this. It sucks, but don't fall for the bullshit. Especially
don't lend the words of any triggered
racist-chans and trolls who might attack you any serious consideration.
Yelling at people who have eating disorders and dismissing their issues as "whiny" and "conceited" does not help cure them.
This is the vent thread. If you're sick of seeing vents, hide it.
I don't want to come off asv fetishy but.. I'm a white chick b admittedly kind of a weird white chick I'll give you that, but I've never understood this racist as fuck perception and have generally thought black people look all right. Even seen a lot of black women, heavy, small, tall, short, that i thought had things going for them that were quite attractive.
I know society is racist af and maybe it doesn't help a whole lot…but I'm pretty sure there's more that feel the same. I am willing to bet you're actually all right irl,me and a lot of others would not have that racist perception of you in a physical sense. Can't speak for otherwise…i personally am aware i live and grew up in a shitty racist society and have to actively try to be better and probably fail a lot.
But all that makes me really hope you get better? A malnourished, unhealthy you will be very sad for sure.
I'm a woman with a more uh… "Wide" body, and that's not even the fat, to put it generously. I definitely feel with you, the whole "ugh so mannish" dysmorphia. But something clicked tbh and i don't know what, but I've gotten very into wanting to own being strong and declaring my own femininity even though its kinda butch? Idk if that makes any sense, but I'm getting into weight training, getting fitspo about getting kinda buff…and idk, when I'm thinking about doing it for me, and owning it just to own my own "natural" ways, it really helps and gives me a goal that is not "lol become ana-chan" however is more centered on owning my natural prediliction for strength and more "mannish" traits and refusing to let the thought that i am not allowed therefore to be feminine and sexy in my own way keep persisting.
Idk if that's for you but it's just some thoughts.
>>317116>Other races of girls don't really have to be smol or that pretty to be considered attractive but I feel like I have to be a 10/10 model just so people can see me as average/human looking.
This cuts deep, I feel the same way and I see it everywhere. The only real solution I've found is to divest from such people. Soak up the compliments if randoms tell you you're "pretty [for a black girl]", but keep them at arm's length and make sure they have to work to get close to you.
Learn to love solitude, and only try to keep around those who are either already very close to you, or understand what you're feeling. In the latter case, I personally figured out that spending more time around other black girls and women online is crucial. I'm a 4channer and a farmer through and through, but it gets alienating at times. I don't like or agree with all the things I read there, but LSA is about the only forum I've found where being a black girl doesn't make you an "other", or some sort of easy target for shitty jokes and poor treatment. The less you're surrounded by people who think your race or height make you inherently less feminine, the better.
People come here to vent, not be shot down for being whiny or whatever. Those replies were thoughtless and unnecessary.
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This isn't a true vent so much as exasperation. It baffles me how anons on /r9k/ don't realize how shopped/angled pictures such as these are. Men are truly retarded.
f u c k h i m
I think that's extremely inappropriate of your friend anon, especially if she went into detail. So she sees you again after however long and just has
to tell you about how she used to fuck your now bf? I'd say stop contacting her, return to her being out of your life. You bf is with you now so the past is entirely irrelevant, but why keep contact with someone that makes you feel so uncomfortable?
They used to be a good friend to me and the fact that they fucked wasn't even why we stopped talking, I moved overseas and we lost contact. She never used to even talk about them fucking in the past, I found out from my bf. I don't know why she brought it up 2 hours into our conversation COMPLETRLY out of the blue but I stopped replying. And will be definitely blocking (not sure if I should tell them why I'm doing it or just cut them off completely). But the damage is done.
I'll get over it again eventually but right now I feel like throwing up, my bf is upset and wanting to cuddle but I feel so repulsed atm. It makes me want to be vindictive. I hate myself.
Yeah, it's hard to feel sorry for somebody who's complaining about being "big and manly" at a completely average height.
Put yourself in the shoes of women who are 6ft. How are they supposed to feel when they read shit like that? No longer just "manly", already a freak of nature??
>>317229>im a racist
I'm not, but go ahead and fling your tired, abused buzzword.
>who believes in white genocide
What's wrong with believing that the actions of upper class Jews constitute an effort to reduce and control the anglo-saxon population? I'm punching up.
>but it’s okay black anon, you aren’t ugly :-)
Well, when you've come to believe someone else's asspained bullshit, who better to hear it from?
Not even involved in this conversation, but seek help. Seriously.
inb4 "therapy is a ploy by the jews"
>>317248>inb4 "therapy is a ploy by the jews
Well, have you looked at all the names of those therapists? lol
Seriously though, if it's so crazy, go ahead and tell me why it's 'white privilege' when the average white income is higher than the average black income but if anyone points out the fact that the average jewish income ins the highest in the country, it's 'anti-semitism'.
Jews make up 1.73% of the US population, but 35% of the Forbes 400 richest Americans.
If 'white privilege' is a problem, then a problem orders of magnitude larger is Jewish privilege.
As soon as you look at the numbers, it is undeniable, the media is silent on it, academia is silent on it, and if you say anything about it publicly, you will be made an outcast.
No one even mentioned "white privilege" ITT except you. This is how deep your mental illness runs.
Why bother addressing the fact that what you call racism is called academic thought when applied to anglo-saxons when you can just spew ad-hominem?
I think it's insulting that the average person cries about white genocide when they have had a long lasting history of actually doing it to
>Native Americans>countless South American Tribes>Tribes in across Africa>Aboriginals in Australia
And they assume that ONLY white farmers in africa are being killed when it's ALL farmers, but they want to play up the racist Idea that farmers are only white because black people are too stupid to farm when it's obviously not the case. It's just that more white people own farmland due to generational wealth. Did you forget apartheid ended in 1994? Those racists aren't gone!
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My vent: my short (former) friends "comparing" their bodies to mine has made me feel insecure as hell, especially when I was younger.
>wow, look anon how small my hands/feet are next to yours!
>my legs are so tiny, why do I have such bony knees?
>god, I wish I also had big hips like you
>60 kg is quite fat for girls, isn't it?
>who the hell wears a size medium, that looks so huge…
Fuck you, humblebragging bitches. Most of them had bmis higher than mine, but somehow didn't get that me being over a head taller also means I can weigh a lot more. If we sit next to each other and my thigh looks fatter, maybe you should also note that it's a good portion longer than yours as well?
I even knew one girl who loved to "complain" about how "sm0l" and young looking she was, she even started to change the way she sneezed to make it sound higher and cuter… And of course everybody else who didn't know her that well fell for it.
The worst was my former best friend (who already knew how much I starved myself and encouraged it) saying I had "birthing hips". I wish that if I were to meet her again one day, I'll be brave enought to tell her off.
Just take memes like pic related for example. Most short girls know exactly (or at least hope) that they're considered "cute" yet love to half-heartedly act as if they hate it.
>huh, do I really look cute when I'm mad? You're so mean! ("pouts")
Ironically nearly all of my friends nowadays are short as well (just a lot better than the old ones), but I'd really like to have one tall one. I hope that the whole situaion gets better once I reach an age there simply no women no longer looks cute.
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I really dislike my new job but I feel like such a dumbass for complaining because I quit my job of a few years to take this one. Luckily I only have to deal with it for another five or six months before I leave for school, but damn, even though my old job sucked ass and treated me so unfairly, I still have a nagging feeling in the back of my head thinking that I did the wrong thing by quitting. Thank God this is all temporary.
>>317283>I think it's insulting that the average person cries about white genocide when they have had a long lasting history of actually doing it
That's not a denial that it isn't happening though, is it?
Your argument is basically 'lol you guys did it so suck it up!', which strikes me as a tacit agreement.
As for whites in Africa, imo they should all leave and return to Europe.
My father once got pissed because I didn't acknowledge how "skinny" my grandmother was for wearing a size 6 at a height of maybe 5ft>uhm, you think you'd fit into her dress?!
No? And you know exactly why.
In my experience short guys are just as mean to tall girls (just in a different way) and therefore I can't really bring myself to feel sorry for them. So many people told me that I should also go for guys shorter than me, since we're in the same boat, only wanting a bf taller than you is shallow blah blah; as if they would like that.
The bf of a friend of mine once said that it's weird that some girls wear size […] shoes in front of me, yet he wore even bigger ones even though he's a lot shorter than me. Okay…?
I think the things your "friend" said to you are fucked up and 100% her insecurity. If it helps, imo this ~cute stuff originates from men and a lot of short girls just try to own it because they can't stop it, same way lots of bottom heavy girls go for #thicc, and tall ones might work long legs.
Obv it's fine for everyone to work what they've got on a night out or a date, the issue is when you get a girl who tries to squash a real, 3 dimensional identity so she can present herself whichever way men find her most acceptable 100% of the time.
Imo the result is inevitably competitive obsession with other women's bodies. Also as a weird undercurrent of sexual competition in random non sexual situations because they've tried to replace their whole, entire personality with a something designed to attract guys.
6'2" here. It doesn't work that way and you have NO idea what you'd be inviting. There'd be boners all around you.
Submissive guys with tall girl domination fetishes will come out of the woodwork if you talk like that. Half of what you just typed could literally be verbatim quote from amazon domme porn.
You can't go around saying that shit.
Anon vents about their personal feelings in a venting thread, other anons dogpile to say how selfish anorexia is because taller, larger girls might also feel bad.
You guys are expecting rationality from anorexia and it’s hilarious. Getting angry at someone’s admittedly irrational emotions. You’re like the people who say ‘well think of the starving African children’ when someone says there’s no food in their house.
Thank you very much anon. I can't go to an asylum because of my pets that are my children, I also can't leave the country but was comsidering going with them to a near one has been a while.
The squid did some bad things but took away a lot of people from extreme poverty, now I'm really fearful for our future because the minions are even more violent and literally insane than their god.
Tbh I already expected my parents to vote in him because they've always been fucking toxic, narcissistic and neglectful trash. Many people are pissed and something might very probably
happen, let's see….
Is your day worse because anon weighs what they do? Are you personally suffering now because of their bmi?
Did their stats cause you to break out in bulimia?
Peoples stats are meaningless.
If anyone with an ED is in a place where they are so vulnerable and sensitive to triggers
that seeing that someone in the world weighs however many pounds then they shouldn’t be online unmonitored.
I’m saying this as a former anachan. If you’re so unwell you can’t not get triggered
by other people existing then you are too unwell too browse the Internet by yourself.
Either quarantine yourself, or accept that some strangers ED is not actually what is causing your own and deal with your shit instead of blaming other people for existing and having feelings.
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WHOA, I can relate so hard anon.
This reminded me of my own best friend back in Jr. High, she had daddy issues and would seek attention all the time.
She's the primary reason I had low self esteem during that time, she was shorter than me, stick thin, had a high voice, and really played it up with an added shy persona - Being into anime did not help this autism let me tell you. >look at this belly! it's so tiny!>I'm so short and lightweight, I bet none of you guys can pick me up/lift me!>Would fake an even higher voice and act "hyper" after she ate candy>Wow anon your boobs are huge, mine are so small and perky!! :3>oh anon your ass isn't big it's just fat - Yeah I was chubby, but I did have an actual big butt>would pick on me about my eating in front of others - "OH WOW ANON IS THAT ALLLLL YOU'RE EATING?? ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO GET FULL WITH JUST THAT??" >"It's not over until the fat lady sings, anon sing". This one was the most painful memory, since she said it in front of her bf and all his friends
On top of all this she would talk shit about me to her bfs or ditch me to be with them, it's really incredible how I was still friends with her after that fiasco, but typing all this out I now realize what a fucking doormat I was/am.
It's fucked up looking back at pics of myself because I was only slightly chubby in the face and thighs, but at the time I thought I was an ugly fucking whale.
Feels bad. I became so self conscious about my body, obsessed with weight, and to this day I can't eat in front of her or anyone really. As of recently I've finally gotten my weight under control, and I'm losing all the weight I've gained from emotional eating these last 2 years and have accepted myself more. I only tried calling her out once, but she ended up making a half ass apology and making herself the victim; "What! I didn't know I did that?? I'm sorry such a horrible person, I don't feel ok :(". then logged off. It was really bizarre … and I'm still struggling to cut her off. The only bright side I guess is that she's gained a lot of weight and is still gaining.
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like…anywhere? I'm in my late 20s and my boyfriend doesn't give a shit about anything I say. in fact I've never dated a guy who was a fussy little cunt, and I met almost all of them online. Why would you be with someone you can't be yourself with or can't stand being around for more than 2 hours? Does that sound like marriage material to you? If you stay with him because you're under the misguided motion and easygoing, laid back men don't exist you're hopeless.
Your bf doesn't sound "bland" and boring, he sounds like an insecure and controlling jerk.
There's a difference between someone introverted and home-oriented and someone who wants to control everything their partner does so they're as quiet as possible.
i think he'll just be relieved if i do this and would not miss me. i truly think if i passed away, he wouldn't even try to reach out beyond not getting any response, like, i don't even think he would try for a second to get in contact with my family to see if i'm ok. like, no concern toward whether or not i'm actually alive. but then he'll be affectionate and loving and tell me all of these wonderful things. it feels like he tries really hard to talk himself out of caring about me or being with me.
i'm scared of walking away and losing him because beyond all of this, we are very similar to each other and understand each others fears and anxieties. i know i shouldn't care if he doesn't care about me, but i care so much about him and i can't just shut it off the way he does. he used to be incredibly loving before i hurt him (our relationship was his first), and he said recently that my behavior from the past has changed him permanently (that is, he can't trust me and is scared i'll betray him [i've never cheated or anything like that, so imo, it's kind of dumb]).
Why are you so willing to justify staying miserable and in a relationship that is unsatisfying and detrimental to both of you?
You both sound unhappy, and it sounds like there’s no progress happening. This relationship sounds dead, despite you two rattling around in it’s carcass.
Let yourselves be happy.
well, we aren't in a relationship anymore. he broke up with me because he doesn't think he will stop being scared. he'll reach out to me and hang out with me (we aren't having sex as we're broken up, but i know he isn't seeing or talking to anyone else) and he will want to make amends/signal that, but then he'll freak himself out a few days later.
i guess i should just ignore him. he takes like, anything as a cue that i'm going to be distant or talk to my ex guy friends again because he's being affectionate. like, if i'm sad and depressed, he'll interpret that as me not wanting to be around him, or he'll think of something that makes him jealous and then he'll push me away again.
the crux of all our problems is that i would continue to talk to my guy friends behind his back (platonically), because i didn't want to be emotionally reliant on him when we first got together, and now he keeps assuming i'm going to always go behind his back to talk to my former male friends (some i had kind of romantic history with, but not really, because i never liked them like that, really). i get it if i cheated, but i really feel like this is a dumb hangup. i have nothing to break up with though anyways. i guess i'll just try my best to ignore him when he rarely contacts me with 'i love yous' and all that
So this terrible thing you did, was talk to your friends who are male?
Jesus how did he get you so browbeaten? Anon please forget this guy and I hope you find your self respect again. He sounds like a possessive, jealous, emotionally abusive creep.
that's a totally fair assumption to make about almost all men, but i think he'll get into another relationship for a while, if ever. he's happy alone. he has turned down multiple women to remain a virgin before we got together. he's not that social/sexually or romantically inclined and is very into being alone like those lego autists and shit.>>317494
well, tbf, the worst is that i once tried to make him jealous by hanging out with a male friend that i once slept with (3 years before) as a self-harm proxy, when i perceived (tbh accurately) that he didn't give a shit about me and i tried to rub it in his face that i slept with him years ago (this was the worst offense but was a dumb retaliation to feeling unloved when i was doing really unwell and was suicidal), and yes, i would talk to my guy friends when he was at work after promising i wouldn't talk to them for like, 4 months, many years ago, at the start of our relationship.
he told me recently that the straw that broke the camels back was the time when i felt he was avoiding me and that i had no future with him, so i told my one guy friend that maybe he could rent a room from me (platonically) so he could avoid being evicted because he's bipolar and his financial situation wasn't that stable, and him renting from me would help to pay off my mortgage faster. i think he keeps choosing to interpret this as "living with him" and that i would be willing to live with any guy, possibly in a romantic context.
the issue is that i was impulsive when i felt unloved and uncared for and went behind his back to talk to my friends who were interested in me when i felt hated by him. i think he feels that i'll try to hurt him by sleeping with them or something if i feel hated by him. i guess i am browbeaten. i dont mind jealousy or possessiveness, because i can be the same way, but what i do mind is the fact that he has no sympathy or understanding for WHY i did those things and that it's avoidable and that i'm not impulsive anymore. he says he doesn't blame me, but he just can't get over it. he has read and listened in on my conversations with my guy friends and i didn't speak to them in a romantic way ever and i really have no interest in them, but i guess that i would sometimes try to make him jealous because i felt hated or unloved was just too much.
Yeah, it was rough. But I’m glad I’m not the only one who catches onto this kind of weird behavior. The final nail in the coffin is me chewing her out properly and cutting her out of my life completely.>>317482
Alot of the reason I was too scared of saying something back, other than risk being socially isolated was that our mutual friends would take her side, and defend the shit out of her because she’s a smol shy bean that needs protecting and wouldn’t hurt a fly uwu~
It’s really baffling how people fall for that kind of act.
It’s like anon has been trying to justify his emotional bullshit and put herself down as hard as she can.
Why do you put up with men like that when you could be single or with someone who isn’t a manipulative twat? Stop throwing around the ‘love’ excuse because this ain’t it.
Sadly not. Low income rural Australian town. Obesity second only to meth addiction.
The families start young, usually aren’t educated, you’re seen as mean if you don’t buy your kids maccas a few times a week and homecoming means putting frozen chicken nuggets into the deep fryer. It’s honestly part and parcel with the regular neglect. In twenty years the local hospital is gonna be reduced to ruins by junkies and the price of bariatric equipment for the patients.
Not that anon and yet you're just as fucking stupid. The same could be said for people who willingly choose to smoke, drink, and starve themselves.
Except that's a choice they're making for themselves.
It's absolutely not the same as being genocided. Don't say stupid ridiculous shit and maybe it won't get called out.
Same but my face gets sweaty the most… I cannot apply any cream or concealer cause it starts sweating like mad in 5 minutes. I dunno.what to do. I am laying off meds so maybe it will help.
I know I have to lose weight to but it's crazy how my face becomes because of a little bit of make up.
>>317662>complains about others not knowing history>"And claiming colonialism is directly responsible for poverty is ridiculous. People in africa were happily killing each other and rolling around in disease and poverty before they've seen even a single white person."
Colonialism was, and still is, one of the leading cancers of the continent. Everything would be better if former colonial powers would just pack up their shit and go entirely. No "charities", no foreign intervention, no aid, no military agreements, no shitty "trade deals", no colonial taxes, nothing. Just a clean separation.
I wish /pol/tards who reee about not wanting immigrants or multiculturalism in the world would also tell their cousins to follow the same advice by going home, and their governments to focus on themselves, lmao.
Kek, >Europe was doing great before WW1, look at the roman empire!
You're a loon.
You got angry at someone suggesting that colonialism was bad, but I'm the loon. Okay, anon, kek.
Hope you get some therapy.
Saying you're a loon is not strawmanning. I'm saying you're spouting stupid shit, though.
Sure, colonialism wasn't all pink and dandy but let's face it, those countries were fucked way before that.
I was referring to the line of greentext as strawmanning. >Sure, colonialism wasn't all pink and dandy
Understatement of the century. Look up "the effects of colonialism" anytime.>but let's face it, those countries were fucked way before that.
Please give me an in-depth, detailed explanation on each country, the history of its ethnic groups and why everyone was doomed before colonialism.
Keep in mind that I don't believe any country should have to take in refugees or immigrants, but I do believe the countries that caused the problems need to own up to it, fix it, give back whatever was stolen and then fuck off.
Find me a circumcised male who would rather have a 60% higher likelihood of getting HIV.
Also, why is it you almost never see cut men sperging about male circumcision? It's always women and uncut guys. I literally don't know a single cut man IRL who would rather not have been circumcised and online they seem to make up the vast minority of people who complain.
>>317717>greatly reducing their risk of HIV
NAYRT, but so do condoms. Also idk how cutting off some skin and nerves is suppoaed to prevent you from xontractinf a sexually transmitted disease, but ok. The foreskin is meant to be there, removing it only serves to decrease sexual pleasure, especially wbc the foreskin protects the glans from becoming desensitized from overstimulation (which contributes to the "men cant cum from regular sex anymore" thing for sure).
Circumcision is only a thing because some mega-rich asshole named John Harvey Kellogg, the CEREAL guy, was a puritanical religious nutbjob and thought masturbation was evil and cutting off the foreskin would curb their desires. To your credit thpugh he did
suggest FGM- the female equivalent of circumcision im his mind was to burn off the clitoris with carbolic acid.
The reason "aid" goes nowhere is because it's a scam made to trick citizens of the colonialist countries into donating or paying higher taxes in exchange for peace of mind. Less than 1% of the money will ever go to Africa. You will never meet an African person who is surviving on foreign aid, because it does not exist. It's a sham. The fact that in 60 years you never figured that out for yourselves is embarrassing. >What DO the ex-colonialist countries have to do in your opinion?
Stop strong-arming countries into unfair trade deals to get resources, stop setting up military strongholds where they won't even allow those countries to see what they're doing, stop setting up "charities", "schools" and "orphanages" that are just fronts for child trafficking and pedophile holiday spots, return stolen cultural relics, reverse any deliberate tension created between ethnic groups to secure colonial power, dispute all the arbitrary countries declared (many, many
ethnic groups have been split apart or smashed together with no regard to culture) so that sensible lines can be drawn, etc. >Take over the African countries and make them work at factories until their economy is able to stand on its own two feet?
Nope. Just do what's said above and leave. The notion that Africa doesn't "work" unless others come and take over is tired and inaccurate.
All mutilation is bad but you really can't compare FGM with male circumcision, ever. FGM results in a lot of pain and is usually done when the girl is 8-12 years old, causing further mental trauma, longer healing times and a ton of complications. Even the most minor form of it removes the head of the clitoris, and the most extreme form removes the clitoris in whole including the inner and outer labia, finishing it by sewing the vulva shut. All often done without anesthesia. Sex will be painful to woman after this and the mutilated vulva will be prone to life-threatening infections.
It's disrespectful to compare these two because often when someone is talking about FGM some asshole pops up to whine about "m-muh male circumcision why isn't anyone talking about that" despite it being nowhere near as severe as FGM as it only nicks the foreskin off, not the whole glans tip of the penis.
There are literal focus groups of cut men upset that they were mutilated at birth. I don't know where you've been looking, but you must be very lost.
The implication that having foreskin = HIV is pathetic, too. It's not cute to take sharp objects to a baby's genitals, ever. Sorry.
Yeah. They are midly upset that they lost some sensitivity.
Poor babies, it's absolutely like being barred from any pleasure and being in deep pain every time you have sex (with a chance to go septic if you're not lucky and end up dying septic because of your own period macerating up there).
Come on. No one should mutilated but it is absolutely like comparing pulling out a nail vs amputating the whole hand.
YMMV. Circumcision is fully and completely unneccessary. As for HIV prevention, doctors still don't fully know how the virus enters the penis, but saying circumcision needs to be normalized to prevent the spread of HIV is stupid because that would take decades to work. Just… wash yoir foreskin and leave baby penoses alone. The only one making that choice should be the owner of the penis in question, and since kids don't usually jump to have sex before puberty odds are they will have plenty of time to make their own decision. Tbqh if you ask me the only reason it went on for so long is because men want their sons to be clones of them, or maybe they were just jealous of the thought of their sons feeling more during masturbation/sex than them.
Also I have yet to see an actual source for any "cut dick prevents HIV better than condoms!" claims. All I can ever find are inconclusive studies that are done in second and third world countries wherr the infected barely give a fuck to begin with.
>>317738>Without doing that, it's not really possible.
Do you have a single source to back that up, or are you just surmising that out of convenience? >naughty child-traffickers
Nice. If your child, sister, brother, cousin, niece, nephew, etc ever get kidnapped and raped, I hope you take this very same dismissive, uncaring approach and minimize how disgusting it is. >if you have no real authority over them, there's not much that you can do.
I'm saying they should leave, because a fuckload of them are from "charity groups" created by colonialist countries. No need for authority if they're not even there to begin with, and they're useless, anyway.
>>317726>Also idk how cutting off some skin and nerves is suppoaed to prevent you from xontractinf a sexually transmitted disease, but ok.
The fact you're ignorant of this fact and even suggesting it's not true shows you're not well researched enough on this subject for your opinion to be taken seriously. Google is right there.
Also, I am well aware of Kellogg and how horrible he is, but you can't be ignorant enough to think he was in inventor of it. It started as a Jewish practice that he coopted. And regardless of it's origin, it was found to-like I already said- have really great sexual health benefits and not actually harm the male's sex life in any way.
If this is so barbaric and anyone who isn't foaming at the mouth over it is a piece of shit condoning child mutilation, then where are the hoards of circumcised men coming forward to end this practice? Most men in the US are circumcised, so why isn't this a major issue males are taking on as a rights violation? Why do the same men who are circumcised usually do it to their sons?
It's almost like they don't mind being circumcised and this movement is composed mostly of women and uncircumcised men for a reason.
>>317750>If this is so barbaric and anyone who isn't foaming at the mouth over it is a piece of shit condoning child mutilation, then where are the hoards of circumcised men coming forward to end this practice? Most men in the US are circumcised, so why isn't this a major issue males are taking on as a rights violation? Why do the same men who are circumcised usually do it to their sons?
You do realize a similar argument can be used in favor of FGM, right? A lot of the same women who get mutilated pass on the tradition to their own daughters. I've seen images of grown women from Southeast Asian countries SMILING maniacally as they mutilate crying little girls because it's just "the way things are". That doesn't make it anywhere near okay.
Culture and tradition are often backward and disgusting. "But they do it anyway and haven't all stopped, so there's no way it's that bad" is a piss-poor argument.
I've seen the most pertinent research this user is referencing, probably behind a paywall now which is why its hard to get to, and I'm not an expert but i did kind of understand it.
Yes, it is true that there appears to be a phenomenon where it is more likely to get HIV with an uncut penis. It seems to be that the fold of skin, like how a woman is more likely to contract HIV, is basically a really friendly and inviting environment for the virus to get under and then more easily enter the urethra. For women, its that their whole vagina is just prone to being susceptible to infection, any STD just gets into the bloodstream so much easier for them.
So…the whole study itself did have a discussion section, iirc, and the debate was whether the risk vs. Reward of the procedure justified circumcision without informed consent. There were definitely ones pushing it hard as a preventative thing, but it was rebutted that, some data strongly suggests the risk of transmission goes down significantly (not as much but a noticeable amount) for uncut men when they simply practice basic hygiene before and after sex. Making sure your dick is clean before, taking a piss after sex, and cleaning up after basically. If a man, upon reaching legal adulthood, is a high risk for HIV and decides it would be worth circumcision, that can be a thing, no need to violate the consent of little babies. Plus, condoms exist. So many people saw the ones pushing for it without informed consent as basically just having a bias for "tradition" or whatever.
I believe later i asked at the hospital when i had to make my choicec what the protocol was about all this stuff, and i was told that yeah, because of that there was a push to not pressure mothers into circumcision and there are even pediatricians that don't want to do it anymore and see it as both unethical and a huge liability.
Anyway in sum:FGM is utterly tragic and yes arguably more tragic than circumcision, doesn't make it ok to mutilate babies to "prevent HIV" lol.
You could have answered my question and provided sources but instead you resorted to being a cunt with the typical "google it" and "I shpuldn't have to eksplain it to u" arguments. Your bias is showing. Nobody should circumcise babies or children before they are old enough to consent to sex.
>where are the hoards of circumcised men coming forward to end this practice? Most men in the US are circumcised, so why isn't this a major issue males are taking on as a rights violation?
A little over half, actually- 55%. And because men don't organize that way for things that don't benefit them directly. Men who are already cut benefit
from hysteria like yours because they're seen as "normal" instead of incomplete. Notice you don't hear about men who are uncut growing up to get adult circumcisions en masse.
As for the HIV argument, I have yet to find a study done on that claim that wasn't done in a second or third world country, and they all say it doesn't prevent
men from getting HIV. The benefit doesn't even carry much merit in America because guess what? More peole in the US are afraid of getting pregnant than getting HIV because it's not as big an issue here. The relevance of that statistic only matters in places where the disease is spreading rapidly because men refuse to use condoms.
Jewish people didn't "invent" circumcision either, and it wasn't born from any religion. Men have been dping it for a laundry list of reasons, but as far as I can see the only time babies/toddlers are involved is when it is religious.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_male_circumcisionhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1127372/
Just let them decide when they're old enough to have sex. If that in itself is such a radical and offensive idea to you then you must be the type who thinks men and boys are too stupid to be taught to wash a foreskin properly. Circumcision is a waste of perfectly good nerve endings all for the sake of either tradition or control.
nta but can we stop talking about it, the girls on this board are never going to care about relating to "evil men" because they don't have any empathy for them.
>inb4 hur dur """men""" have no empathy for ""women""
i don't care if many men don't have empathy for me, the important ones do, and important men in my life have been ruined by this shit.
Lol right? Its almost as if just children in general shouldn't be mutilated without their consent when the risk and ethical issues outweigh the preventative benefits. This is why they're starting to only "correct" intersex genitals if they have to for a legitimate medical reason and have started treatment plans around informing them of their options at ages where they can make the decision of how they would like to present and/or function sexually.
The vent here is that people who generally don't understand that shouldn't be having kids or spouting their shitty opinions everywhere lol.
worse than that, many doctors use it to "correct" physiological conditions for $$.
imagine how up in arms people ITT would be if a dr. told them that their daughter needed her labia cut off cause she sprinkled pee. it's an absolutely disgusting opinion to alter a child's anatomy like that when all the reasons aren't even compelling. any of the reasons are "it will cause issues later", then they should decide later what they want.
i have one elongated inner labia that causes me issues because it sometimes gets pinched against my underwear, yet i would have been furious if someone cut it off when i was a kid, no matter what the reason.
it's fucked up that we teach children that genitals are a private thing yet some children get them altered to suit their parents' desires.
>>317759>except that women in these cultures are subjected to extreme oppression and taught/forced to believe their sex/breeding objects who shouldn't be feeling pleasure.
God I need to vent about this, ex-muslim who grew up in a conservative Muslim-majority country here. I'm so, so sick of Islam being romanticized by people who don't have any idea about Islam. Of course people have the right to believe in whatever they want and not all Muslims are bad people. I have nothing against Muslims who have no malicious intent but Islam by itself is not a religion of peace and can be criticized. Most of the shitty aspects of our society is caused by religion.
FGM isn't practiced in my country but my country has a huge problem with misogyny. Child marriages are illegal but it still happens in the rural areas. Women having sex before marriage or not being submissive to the older male figures in the family is still a taboo, domestic violence and honor killings happen often and the government doesn't give a fuck, people's mindset is "if she dared to fuck someone before marriage, she deserved to get beaten up to death". If you have sex and just one of these people hear about it, they'll ruin your social life, they'll think you owe them something. You have to basically be your husband's mother and do everything for him or you are a shitty woman. Having a son is more important than having a daughter, women will raise their sons like princes and treat their daughters like shit because they are taught that giving birth to a boy is the best accomplishment they can achieve. Girls are ashamed of their female parts, ashamed of having periods. Men complain about our women as if everything they complain about isn't caused by them. They'll complain about women being deadfish in bed but they'll also treat a sexually-active woman as a slut who deserves to die. They see foreign women as easy sluts who are ready to hop on their dicks and will judge them if they don't live up to their expectations.
There are so many things to talk about. I hate this society, I hate it for fucking up my life, for fucking up everyone's lives. I really hope that things are going to change but I lose my hope and just think we are in too deep and nothing is ever going to be better sometimes.
>>317788>male circumcision is to blame for violent sexuality in men>>317804>you deserve to be infertile for choosing to circumcise your son>>317805>male circumcision is torture
My vent: I'm mostly against circumcision and I hate how many who share my view point just spew a bunch of ridiculous drivel like this that makes it hard for most to take this position seriously. I can't blame people who dismiss us all as crazy when these are the sorts of things you commonly see in these discussions. Honestly, the anti-circumcision side sounds fucking batshit in the majority of discussions I see. Also, I cannot find anything supporting the idea that 55% of men are against it and the argument of "wait until they're old enough to decide" is absolutely retarded since it's so much more painful and more prone to complications. Again, you're not doing our side any favors.
Anyway, everyone participating in this discussion for or against it is stupid and here's an article explaining why you're all dumb: https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/circumcision-what-does-science-say/
Can we all move on now?
Eh, I disagree with you. Like other preventative surgeries, it's being phased out. They used to do preventative tonsillectomy and no longer do it for moral/consent reasons, only if it's medically necessary, same with this.
Besides, your article, like someone else said is outdated, and doesn't really reflect most physician's positions on it anyway. I have a son and the only people who have ever recommended it to me are urologists who preform the surgery, urologists who don't have told me that everything you said is bull, namely the "more painful" aspect, since in recent years we've discovered babies actually feel more
pain, couple that with the fact that babies get less anesthetic and medicine for pain and it's obviously wrong. I also had an ex bf who got it done at age 20 and he said it was less painful than getting wisdom teeth pulled.
For someone who thinks the argument is stupid, you were sure quick to find proof of how "dumb" everyone else is.
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I’m so fucking sick and tired of my ptsd ruining my life. I was in club today and a guy was joking about how good a rape scene was. even the word makes me tear up hearing it, and it’s so fucking embarrassing. Any time there’s a scene that remotely has anything to do with it makes me just… ugh. I’m so happy at least my bf is understanding and always warns me of scenes,’making sure to use “sexual assault” rather than the word. My ex was shit about it and legit asked why it still bothers me when it was ages ago. I have to take 800mg of seroquel or I’ll have trauma dreams and sleep paralysis where I’m being touched. I have to be constantly doing something or else my mind wanders, I’m recovering but I deal with a bad eating disorder from wanting to ruin my body and be unattractive. i’m just so tired
People lose their minds over it. I once asked for input because I didn’t know enough to have an opinion but my husband is pro-curcumcision because he has issues with his own.
Literally got called abusive to any potential child, unfit to be a mother, am a handmaiden so under the thumb of very abusive husband I was willing to abuse my baby, a man pretending to be a woman just to upset them, clearly supportive of any and all genital mutilation, retarded, and a sicko who obsesses over baby penises.
All for saying ‘I don’t have a dick so I don’t know’.
Farmers come to lolcow here to find a fight, not to discuss.
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>Meet girl at con a year ago, we really hit it off
>Start going to all the local cons together, make tons of cosplay plans
>Going to cosplay two characters who are practically a couple together
>Really quickly realize I have a crush on her, try to push it down and forget about it
>mfw she's straight and probably doesn't even like me that much as a friend
It hurts bros, I just want to hold her in my arms.
I don't understand why people keep coming in here to be like "express opinions to make you feel shitty and guilty about feeling that way" at people's vents… not saying we have to pat each other's asses but this is getting to be a little much tbh.
like im not sure what you expected me to think, that you're not an asshole just because I hear that my kid is "baggage" 24/7? thanks I guess.
if ur cat is that ravenous I'd look into any medical issues that could be causing it, esp if he is older.
my cat started eating the dog food and trying to get into any food he could get even though he had his normal amount of cat food everyday. turned out he had beetus.
How chubby is a little chubby?
It’s not that hard. Train your animals, seperate them if one is being nasty, don’t provide constant food, feed them separately.
There is no excuse and fat pets are products of abuse. Anyone who says they can’t find time to invest five minutes daily into keeping their pets healthy is full of shit and they do not deserve pets.
Here's my vent, you're being a dick. So having a chubby cat isn't exactly the best thing but it's better than that cat dying abandoned in the streets or euthanized in a shelter.
I love my pets, and none of them are overweight but if they were, well I'd try to fix things as best as I could of course, but sometimes you have financial and time limits and it's just not that easy if you have more than one cat for example.
It’s easy if you’re not lazy. Justifying animal abuse by ‘well if I wasn’t abusing it it would be starving in the streets’ as if normal people don’t adopt mistreated animals everyday, is so weak that Christopher reeves could beat it in an arm wrestle.
If your cats are overweight, you don’t deserve pets. Being offended about it doesn’t mean I’m nasty, that’s just projected guilt.
Anyone who doesn’t have five or ten minutes to feed their pets seperately is too time poor to have an animal at all. Anyone who thinks it’s expensive to feed an animal less food is too stupid for a pet.
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>>317870>joking about how good a rape scene was.
What the fuck is wrong with that person
Sexual violence is such a scary thing, I literally cannot understand how people can treat it as some joke and then when called out brush it off as hurr durr you're triggered
I'm happy that your bf is at least understanding anon, I wish you the best of luck to getting recovered.
To add to this I hate how common it is in anime
and the community just accepts it/fetishizes it. Watched a certain popular animated movie with a scene revolving around it, and it was so disturbing I burst into tears and turned it off. The movie itself was great but I'm forever traumatized by that scene
I am in a small town and all my matches on dating apps were fuckboys, conservative men with nothing in common with me, or generally adamantly refused to respond. Ran out pretty quick and deleted it all.
Crush is the only one I've even really wanted in a long time anyway. Even have family and friends pretty baffled at all the seemingly mixed signals when i tried to ask advice. Guess I'll get over it and be forever alone lol.
You could, y’know, leave the small town instead of resigning yourself to being alone forever after a few bad dates.
There’s about 3billion men out there, the handful in your small town aren’t it.
NTA but I'm going to guess and say Perfect Blue.
The scene is traumatizing but necessary to the plot and works on many levels. I still hated watching it but it's done right. as in clearly meant to be horrifying and not fap material
Well, it's not even a rape scene, it's the characer acting a rape scene in a tv show.
But yep, it's a chilling one. Anybody thinking it's sexy is throwing a big bright red flag, for sure.
>>318056technically you are right but does the distinction matter when reality gets so blurred in the movie and the heroine seems as affected as if it was not just acting? It's also presented to us in way that makes it seem real even if it's a scene in a movie doubling as a showcase of Mima being figuratively raped (robbed of her innocence and dignity, used and abused) by the movie industry.
Don't mean to come off as a neckbeard asshole, I just goddamn love the movie and talking about it.
Can you imagine I've seen gifs of the scene circling on tumblr with thousands of reblogs looped so the guy keeps thrusting forever
I wanted to fucking vomit
Lol as if i got any actual dates and not just gross sexual harassment within 5 minutes of any interaction i did have. That's honestly more the reason i gave up. I'm a busy lady, don't have time or energy to deal with that.
I'll work on pulling out all that money and resources i don't have out of my ass. No offense but if you live in a big city you end up sounding really out of touch when you tell people living in rural areas they can just move as if it's that easy. That's even pretty out of touch in general tbh, given housing prices and wage stagnation.
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Note: I'm aware that a lot of what happened is my fault for not establishing stronger boundaries and being a general mentally ill retard with no social skills or limitations.
>meet a friend on stan twitter about a year ago
>we both like the same artist and have similar music tastes
>he's in between stan twitter and normalfag twitter, actually he is just mostly a normalfag
>talk to him over time
>find out he lives in the same city as me
>i think he's gay or mostly bisexual for some reason, though at the time it's just me reading him wrong
>we meet up and this is like, in march 2018 or something
>the meeting is awkward since i end up getting drunk since he brings alcohol (yes this is EXTREMELY retarded and dangerously brainlet-tier behavior, i know) and we go to a sleezy hookah joint before he safely drops me off at home
>after the night he tells me he thought i was interested in him because i was giving him a hug and accidentally touching him and i told him it wasn't like that and we cleared it up
>we talk off and on online for months
>3 days ago we decide to meet up again
>we go over to his house and he convinces me that staying in his bed is alright since he's not interested in sleeping with me, he makes that clear for like.. months
>we take pictures together, mostly because i havent had a picture in a year since i have a strange anxiety and low self esteem about how i look in pictures
>i act affectionate with him (im like that with all my friends, male or female & i tell him that), awkward shit ensues, like me accidentally feeling his boner and him asking me if i want to see it, and him asking if he could suck my breasts three times before he finally took no for an answer
>i did nothing with him and didn't kiss him or anything like that, but obviously i must have lead him on with my sex and masturbation jokes i was making before and during, even though i reminded him i have a boyfriend and i wasn't interested in crossing that line (lol)
>once he gets ready to drop me off he acts more irritated, i ask him if everything is alright and he says yeah but the night was weird
>i try to message him for 3 days just to see how he's doing and he won't answer me, he even cancels out my calls
>i just really want my pictures man
I feel like screaming at myself for being a complete retarded fuck AND being so close to another male while in a relationship i want to fucking die. I just ruined my friendship too.
I don't agree with you. I've always seen it as Mima being this good of an actress (she's professionnal and reassure the guy playing the rapist that it's ok when he's feeling awkward during cut). She wants to act and she loves doing a hard scene, it's just everybody else (Rumi, her CHAM ex-fans) making it disguting and making her split and feeling unhinged.
But maybe I got it wrong all this time.
Men are far less empathetic than women. I do think that majority of men hate rape and sexual harassment, and would stop it occurring if they ever saw it, just that they joke among themselves to be the most 'heartless', because the less sensitive they are, the stronger they appear (I'm going off stereotypes here but to an extent this is what I believe). It's disgusting, but honestly I don't see it a lot, and I don't really think that stopping the "good" men from behaving like this is going to do anything to change the fact that some men are born assholes. I do really want to believe stopping rape and sexual harassment is that simple, but I'm afraid it's probably just something you can never stop people from doing, like robbery or other cowardly crimes.>>318078>sleeping in the same bed as another man>while in a relationship>thinking it won't be sexual
What the fuck did I just read.
I admit I don't have much RL friends right now and I'm really in a rough part of my life right now mentally and in everything else and they know this, so it did influence a lot my decisions.>>318092
Yes and I regret being naive because I just ruined a good friendship
It doesn't read like he was ever your friend. It sounds like he was just playing the long con to try to get into your pants and was pissed off that night didn't go as he thought it would've. It really doesn't matter what signals you have off that night because he had made plans well before that. I assure you.
I don't view it as you having ruined anything. It's a man who's angry that he didn't get laid and is now ghosting you for it. Him having a boner and insisting he touch you are all aggressive signs he wanted you. A "friend" would've been embarrassed if not horrified that maybe he
was the one ruining your friendship in that moment. I'm just glad he didn't assault you, or worse yet, rape you.
I'm sorry that you didn't get your pictures though. I think that's the real tragedy in this.
Thanks anons>I'm sorry that you didn't get your pictures though. I think that's the real tragedy in this.
Thank you for your perspective! I would love to watch the movie again and try to see it from your side. Maybe I will do it soon. I don't think you are wrong, just that our interpretations are different(I've always thought that it's cruel and exploitative how Mima goes from recreating the virginal uwu jpop idol to being pushed to erotic photography and sexual scenes as an actress, I never thought that this is what she wanted to do but rather what had to be done so she could act
I think that PB supports different interpretations.
*he was generally light-hearted and trustworthy
Again sorry for this but I can't stop obsessing over this right now…
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Idk what's wrong with me but I can't finish any of my art, I feel like I'm not good enough and will ruin all of my paper sheets and paints. I know nothing is perfect but this is so frustrating because I've been hoarding a ton of sketches and barely did anything this year…
I managed to do 6 inktober paintings this month and of all results, only one was below I expected, three were above I was thinking they were going to be and now idk why I'm feeling like this. I have sketches from one year ago waiting to become full paintings…
It was really sickening. Like, it’s so normal. I almost started crying bc a semifriend told a rape joke, people throw the word around to basically mean “this annoying thing happened to me” it’s such a cheap form of horror, so much stuff has it for shock value. Even if I didn’t suffer from ptsd it’d be so uncomfortable and awful, but this only makes it worse.
Thank you though
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My shrink told me to get off meds in preparation for new ones. It's been a week or two and I literally ponder smashing my head into a mirror or cutting myself because I feel that bad.
How is this fucking responsible to have your patient be without meds and without any kind of supervision or care for so fucking long. I bet if I told him that he would say BUT YOU TURNED OUT OKAY AND DIDN'T HURT YOURSELF AFTER ALL, RIGHT? :)) Now I want to do something to myself even more
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>>318372>bf’s roommate just now, after being good about not saying dumb shit, used the word to describe a shit price
I’m done friendos
thank you for replying and sorry for being unclear: I am only seeing my shrink. Two months ago he told me that I should take my medicine every second day so I did. When I saw him around 20th of October he was like 'oh cool, no prescription for you, stop taking your meds btw and come see me in a month'. So I have a visit scheduled on the 2nd of December and I am not sure how will I make it till then. I am very scared of having a breakdown at wotk (right now I am at home thanks to flu), but I am feeling horrible in an non-stress environment, so just imagine what happens once shit hits the fan at work…
He might have wrongly assumed that I will be fine as I did not feel THAT bad on one pill per two days.I have been on medication for 5 years now without stopping, why did he think it would be ok? I literally would love to go to mental hospital for the time cause it's so bad. I am also scared his genius solution to meds killing my libido is taking me off them. I do not think I can function without medication for depression.
I mean, nobody should have pets they can’t afford, and that includes an emergency fund but I understand that those funds get eaten up quickly and diseases are unpredictable.
It’s not abuse to not have $6000 for dog chemo, it’s nothing but abuse to let, say, a Labrador get to 45kg.
People like the scum that post on r/delightfullychubby, they’re animal abusers. Gathering together online to compare just how damaged their furry victims get before they die, sighing with joy over the immobility and helplessness.
Remove him from everything you can. Right now. I can't believe you've lasted a month like this. Men are like stupid dogs and need to be punished immediately. It's kind of like because you set no boundaries, this moron thinks it's okay to push you.
Immediately stand up to him and tell him to not treat you like a wall and message you like a creep 10 times in a row. You're not his girlfriend and say it like that. Then remove him and block him immediately from your Facebook and Instagram. Temporarily private or even "delete" your Facebook for a week (if it's no hindrance to you) so when he figures out you've blocked him, he'll think he chased you off the internet.
I've had to deal with stalkery, pushy men and you have to put your foot down. As for school, make him uncomfortable to be with you, not vis versa. You have more power than you think. Tell a teacher and some fellow girls if you can, so they're aware. It's not that they'll "protect" you necessarily, but they might confront him and give him social pressure so you don't have to. When men are aware they've set off creep alarms with everyone, they back down. Because he thinks he can push you alone with no societal backlash and you won't make a fuss, he continues to.
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i don't like penetrative sex and am pretty sure i never will
i feel that this has ruined my chances of ever finding a longterm partner
i cannot handle the feel of penis in vagina (it's uncomfortable at best even if we get past the 'it hurts' stage), nor can i get off with the idea that someone is fucking me, someone is taking control of my body like that
therapy hasn't helped change my mind
no man in the world will stay long-term with a woman who doesn't like PIV sex because every single straight man ties his self-worth and how much he 'loves' his partner to if he is able to put his dick into a vagina and fuck it
…me and my fiance don't have PiV sex, cause he has a super low sex drive.
i was feeling for you till your shitty bait sounding bs at the end of your post, but now i see you've just decided to give up before even trying, so it's good you'll end up alone tbh.
i'm glad you hit the one in a million chance of a man who has a low sex drive but thanks for completely invalidating my feelings by "lol bait xd"
go fuck yourself
are you a retard?
>no man in the world will stay long-term with a woman who doesn't like PIV sex because every single straight man ties his self-worth and how much he 'loves' his partner to if he is able to put his dick into a vagina and fuck it
if this isn't bait then you don't deserve to be with anyone.
You're not wrong, anon. The vast majority of men DO expect PIV sex and some of them will claim to be OK without it but only because they think you'll change your mind. Then when you don't they get all angry about it.
There's a couple of men out there who really won't mind never having PIV. A lot of them might be submissive guys who get off on being in chastity though, so that might not be your thing.
Judging by their post they've had sex before lol. Idk why people are getting triggered
when it's obvious that most men will expect PIV sex at some point.
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>hanging out with new bf
>getting drunk and high
>mention how I gotta work on Halloween and it's gonna suck
>bf tells me I should call out
>explain how I can't really and the only way to get out is to have someone pick up
>plus the coworkers usually want $70 to take an entire shift
>says he'll give me money to do it
>politely say no
>stuffs $100 bill into my tits and won't take it back
>"I'll at least give you back the extra $30"
I don't like taking the money. I think I'm gonna slip the excess back into his wallet when he's not looking.
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Anon, you know what you have to do.
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They released the first shots of the Netflix Witcher series and it looks like a dumpster fire, just as expected.
What is this fucking partycity wig lmao
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The only good result would be growing out his hair for the role but it's Netflix, they need quick results. Geralt from the Polish movie/series wasn't the best but natural hair looks so much better, even fried this badly with bleach
This wig is just so fucking tacky
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Mads Mikkelsen would have been perfect.
That dude's chin is just weird and his forehead looks like he's balding already despite being only in his 30s…
>>318721>He is an awful actor and a cunt irl to boot.
Please tell us more
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Ciri is white, but Yennefer is indian and Fringilla is black.
Im not the anon who originally wrote that I just don't get what's so racist about it?
Wouldn't you also say e.g. "an American"?
"An Indian" might be comparable to "An American", but "a black" is just weird and sounds gross for the same reasons using "a female" is weird and gross.
If English isn't your first language, it might be hard to grasp. It's just dehumanizing.
Are you? Do you really think that even a man with low test will put up with no PIV sex ever? Pretending like straight men don’t inherently tie their self worth to having a vagina to put their dick into is just plain naive. Even if your BF has a low sex drive I really doubt he doesn’t somewhat resent not having PIV sex unless you begrudgingly give it to him when you DO fuck.
It is biological and straight men cannot escape the biological nor societal need to fuck pussy.
Tall girls are cute and long legs are super feminine. One of the cutest girls I know is about 5'11"
Cuteness isn't inherently tied to shorties.
t. medium girl>>318849
You can change weight though (not height), unless you have a health issue or a rare metabolism. In which case I'm sorry it makes you feel bad, anon.
I can't help with the physical, it seems a lot of women just don't get off from penetration. Does clitoral stimulation work for you? Why not do that while riding him?
Psychologically, why not try only being on top? Tie him down if it makes you feel better about the situation. If you're the one choosing the actions you're the the one fucking him.
That's true. There's nothing I could do against my height. If I was short I could at least wear heels, but sadly there's no way to make me shorter.
Weight however is changeable, even if it might be difficult for some.
I mean…. the same thing happens to short women. Not all of us like being treated as cute and smol uwu.
People get shit for everything.
Also, when did feeling girly and feminine get so tied up with height? I never feel particularly girly just because I'm short. Do really you need other people telling you stuff just to feel feminine?
Not related to the other posts but that reminds me when a lot of anons thought I was humblebragging because I was complaining about my lack of options when it came to clothes because I'm short and skinny, even though I've never seen anyone who's normal irl find my body type attractive or even just ok and I look the way I do due to a genetic disorder I've always had. Anons here are insecure and want to complain about anything and everything. They think anons posting about themselves are directly attacking them or making fun of them even though none of us can see each others in the first place.
Funny enough, every time I see fat people saying they're fat because of their health, they tend to underestimate how much they eat or they had an eating disorder. I always expected them to say they had to take some heavy treatments for actual physical diseases or disorders that make you fat like cortisone but they actually just eat too much and are in denial.
>>318862>Also, when did feeling girly and feminine get so tied up with height?
Literally the only reason short girls are considered more feminine is because being tall is something guys are gigantically obsessed with. Standing next to a girl that's taller than them makes them self-conscious, so guys translate that as the girl being too masculine.
If guys could get over their height obsession, it wouldn't be a problem.
>>318862>I mean…. the same thing happens to short women. Not all of us like being treated as cute and smol uwu. >People get shit for everything.
This is the vent thread and I decided to vent about getting shit, isn't that the purpose of this thread…?
>Also, when did feeling girly and feminine get so tied up with height?
Since guys and shorter girls decided it's funny to bully tall girls by saying they're manly?
Man=tall, woman=short and it's been like this since centuries.
You might not feel particularly girly, but you at least don't need to worry about somebody calling you a man or freak.
>Do really you need other people telling you stuff just to feel feminine?
No. But if people don't feel sorry for me when I talk about having a problem with my height I would at least like them to stay quiet and not make it worse by calling me big, strong, warriorylike etc. Like I said, many tall women don't feel of that getting labeled an amazon is complimentary, so I wish people would stop with that. I'd simply like to be a average, not having to be strong or outstanding.
This is true and I hate it. Men complain about girls only liking tall guys but then won't date a girl who is as tall as them in heels.
Also I wish 5'4" and under boys would hurry up and let me date them. That's my vent since I've been feeling that very strongly today, I want a shorter bf so bad.
guys will be obsessed with it as long as women keep making fun of manlets.
inb4 I get called a handmaiden
>>318867>isn't that the purpose of this thread…?
You're absolutely right. I didn't notice which thread I was in at first, sorry.
>but you at least don't need to worry about somebody calling you a man or freak.
There are many ways to make a short girl feel like a freak for being short.
Seems like your body type (aside from height) contributes to your experience, though. I could never look at a skelly tall girl and think "yes…Strong, Amazonian". Just like I'd never look at a 5' 300lb minimoon and think "smol uwu…". Not trying to throw shade, but it might not be because
you're tall, but bc you're tall and xyz…
Anyway, sorry for stepping on your toes. Thanks for your reply though! I'll keep you in mind next time a tall girl complains about her height to me.>>318866
I don't even understand that. Only absolute twinks look more feminine next to some
tall girls, and there aren't much of them around anyway. Even manlets look masculine next to tall women, maybe a bit childlike but still a male child. Men with height complexes are such losers.
It’s not about that one guy you like tho it’s about the majority
This is like saying nazis were ok because a lot of them didn’t want to commit the crimes and it’s also the boring old notallmen argument
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My bf is a dumb fuck sometimes. His friend showed a picture of me bf and I To his new gf and she called us both ugly and he's still going to be friends with him. He showed a picture of me to another friend and he said "she's not pretty but she's not ugly either". Why the fuck does he keep showing/telling me this shit? when he knows I'm anorexic and hate my face.
Lmao what kinda bait are you anon, if this is your Bf he's literally fucking asking people if you're attractive or not and if its reversed its not better ("really young one"??.) Either break up or resign to the fact that you like getting cucked by chadlet tier men who talk about women like they're picking meat at the supermarket.
Ngl i borderline think this is bait (kek? Either your bf is a /pol fag or ur talking to your other women friends who browse lc)
because what kind of wet sock acts like this is just a vent and not outing themselves dating every negative trait in a man: the bf prototype.
No, it isn't. Anon and her bf are just extremely cringy.>>319010
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Some web comic artist I follow posted this and it makes me so fucking mad. If you know even the SLIGHTEST thing about rabbit care you would know that if a rabbit isn’t eating they need to be taken to an emergency vet asap, as they can die from digestive issues so quickly. She says they had this rabbit for TWO days of it not eating. A quick google search would let you know that is an emergency situation that needs immediate treatment, as bunnies needs to almost constantly be eating hay to keep they’re digestion running well. They said after this “I think she was injured internally and probably wouldn’t have made it even if we took her to a vet”. fuck off. To me it sounds like you found a bunny, “rescue it” and let it slowly die from a likely treatable digestive relatived issue. If you don’t know anything about the type of animal you think you’re rescuing you’re better of taking it to shelter.
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So me and my friend made up after that awkward night and we cleared some things. He mentioned he was half asleep and under a lot of stress & basically pointed out my miscommunication to him. It's all good
what a fucking stupid cunt. How hard it is to google 'is it normal for a bunny to not want to eat' or just take the rescued animal straight to vet to check if they are ok, since you don't know anything about them and not all illnesses might be visible.
Seems to me like the idiot wanted asspats from her followers for being an ~animal angel~ as well to get an ~uwu kawaii pet bunni~ for free. Disgusting
It gets worse, anon.
He also has an army of millennial and gen-z men.
My mom is similar, but she blindly follows these anti-vaxxers who always share articles about preventing diabetes and muh chemicals in our food.
I'm glad to be out of the house, but seeing the shit she shares in Facebook that can be easily debunked with a quick Google search is like looking at a trainwreck that keeps happening 3 times a day. I've even tried showing her most of these "doctors" are fake, but the trainwrecks don't stop.
I honestly hope I don't become this dumb when I grow up. She had me fairly young so I guess it was already a given, I just didn't put two and two together until I moved out lmao.
I thank fucking god my own is either intelligent or worried about judgement enough she hasn't gone full retard with the anti vaxx things and what not…that really sucks I'm sorry. I get very a-loggy about those kinda people since they frequently commit heinous medical neglect.
I promise you won't. You may hold some irrational opinions or whatever like everyone does, but the fact you're even worried about the potential says you will never be that bad.
Just keep nurturing your healthy skepticism and all that, you seem like you got a good head on your shoulders.
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I work as a cashier in a clothing store and have a middle eastern coworker is generally nice, but I have noticed her saying really racist remarks concerning asian people (spefically Chinese.)
My spouse is from China and it makes me really uncomfortable. I want to say something to her, but not sure how to approach the situation. I told her a few times her remarks were racially ignorant, but she has done it more than a few times.
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>Try to harass a person enough for them to leave because they are a tedious pain in the ass.
>Lose my job because of it, despite the fact that most of my coworkers hated that person and confided in me for being an asshole to them.
I hate how telling the truth became so unpopular recently.
"Harass" is kind of a strong word. What I mostly did was walk up to the person in question when they had a conversation, and just told them how much they sucked in front of everyone. I ranted and looked like an asshole to be sure, but that person really needed to hear about how much they sucked.
I did it twice after getting a warning not to do it, but they were just so obnoxious and shit so maybe that's why I got fired. However every time I bring it up to people in order to brag about how much of a bad bitch I am, they think of me as being a bad bitch in the bad way.
>>319364>Told not to do something>Does it anyway twice>"Can't believe I lost my job!!1!"
I understand dealing with shitty people is super difficult/annoying but this is just so dumb. You set yourself up tbh.
Especially when you're bragging about it and seem to not get that you are - maybe, just maybe, being an actual dumb bitch.