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File: 1543542875882.png (154.88 KB, 390x390, sadcatinacowboyhat.png)

No. 331705

Last thread: >>323357

Release your inhibitions. Feel the rain on your skin.

No. 331744

I will repost then.
I'm not trying to sound like one of those YouTube comments animals rights activists but I really hate all of the various popular videos on Instagram of people fooling around with newborn-3 weeks old kittens. I don't mind videos/pictures of them, those are great but all the stupid shit putting them in costumes or putting them in the person's bed is stupid. They aren't dolls, they are living things. I don't even mind animal costumes that much, but putting it on newborn kittens is so stupid and is stressing them out for no reason.

No. 331795

In high school I used to identify as a lesbian. I never dated or had sex with a girl but I would get crushes and fantasize about them all the time. Fast forward, last year I realized I was attracted to men and now I'm not even sure if I'm really attracted to women. At least most of the people I "came out to" in high school I don't really see much any more, but still feels really weird.

No. 331797

>>331795
youre still young its understandable. ive been in a long term relationship with a guy after many years of only being with women. through high school and some years after i was exclusively with a woman and thought that that was the only thing i wanted but we change over time. my sister is a big ol butch lesbian for as long as i could remember but she still got knocked up and had a fling with a guy for a few months.

try not to get too hard on yourself.

No. 331816

got an iud put in today and wow i expected bad cramps but this is some other level shit and i’m annoyed because i can’t fucking sleep and pills aren’t helping (motrin and my xanax) it’s like a constant ache with random waves of pure hellish pain lol fuck

No. 331852

File: 1543570856775.png (399.43 KB, 500x333, tumblr_og2h85gz3m1s3twnuo1_500…)

Seems like I am totally out of date and obsolete to my old friends now. Nothing.

No. 331859

>>331795
>>331797
that makes me hopeful that maybe one day my sexuality will change and I won't be attracted to men anymore. a dream

No. 331861

I mentioned to my bf that I am afraid that my current spiralling mh issues and melancholy mood is making me unattractive to him and he said "I literally don't care" and I know he meant it in a nice way but I've been awake all night reading the message and I'm paranoid it means he actually doesn't care at all lmao

No. 331862

>>331795
I'm not actually mad at you or judging you but I've gotta be honest, it does annoy me when women who previously said they were lesbians turn around and say "Actually I think men are hot!"

I know sometimes people get confused and mislabel themselves and it can't be helped, they're not doing it on purpose. It's just irritating because men already have this delusion that lesbians secretly crave dick, and I know whenever men see some girl who just got confused and didn't realize she wasn't really gay, they think "I knew it! All lesbians really do want men!"

I only get actually angry at the girls themselves when they still go around calling themselves lesbians while happily dating and fucking men though. Those women are so fucking annoying.

No. 331863

>>331816
I guarantee the initial pain of getting an IUD implanted does not compare to the agony of pregnancy. You'll feel better soon anon

No. 331864

>>331816
I guarantee the initial pain of getting an IUD implanted does not compare to the agony of pregnancy. You'll feel better soon anon>>331816

No. 331865

>>331816
I guarantee the initial pain of getting an IUD implanted does not compare to the agony of pregnancy. You'll feel better soon anon

No. 331866

>>331863
Let the girl complain, damn. It's the vent thread.

No. 331871

>>331866
I don't think it was an attempt to one up the pain lol, i'm getting an IUD soon and while I expect some pain I can at least tell myself that it's probably less painful than giving birth

No. 331881

This is so dumb but I hate it when I go to pull and you can see the people take every chance to whine about their life, it's not even about the milk or drama. And now i have come on lc to whine about it. I prefer the anon stuff, bc at least then i can't see the fucking patterns of someone's sperging.

No. 331898

File: 1543585623300.jpg (67.84 KB, 683x683, Ayúdame.jpg)

My sleeps all fucked up and has been for years. I worry about it so much that maybe the anxiety is what's been making it worse, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, every time I lay in bed my mind starts to ruminate on dead horses (past relationships, my fears and insecurities) that I end up staying awake for another couple of hours. The only way I can distract myself is browsing online, which probably furthers my problem too but I don't know what else I can do at this point. My eyes always feel so tired, and they look ill, and I fear my hair is thinning.

No. 331901

>>331898
Also, might I add, that I haven't had a full nights sleep in what feels like ages. It's become normal for me to wake up every 3 hours and I sometimes struggle to fall back asleep again.

No. 331917

>>331898
I know you're not asking for advice but try exercising, if you do it hard enough it will knock you tf out by bed time

No. 331922

>>331744
I agree anon… I found a cat Instagram that was extremely popular and the cat was severely overweight, I'm talking morbid obesity. Made me uncomfortable that the people running it were exploiting this poor unhealthy cat. And it leads me to the question of if they would keep it fat on purpose for the gram.

>as cute as fat animals are, its unhealthy for them

No. 331923

>>331816

Yikes I'm so sorry anon. I've heard horror stories with IUDs so I never got one (just had a tubal ligation last month).

If it keeps up I'd definitely go back to the doctor. I'm not sure what the normal healing time is, but if its longer than that you should look into it

No. 331936

just recently started following the tnd drama and going over old threads, man, pet anons are almost as bad as the munchies with blogposting and petfagging.

No. 331951

I've been eating like an absolute monster after months of not binging, my body is basically screaming at me to stop. I need to get my shit together right now

No. 331982

A toxic person I cut out of my life keeps adding me back on different accounts and trying to contact me and I'm sick of it

No. 331985

>>331816
Sorry to hear you’re going through that anon. I got an iud earlier this year and the cramping seemed to get better after a few days. Have you tried a heating pack? They gave me one to use during the procedure and it really helped make the pain bearable since it relaxed my muscles. As a previous anon said before, I think it would be a good idea if you get it checked out if the pain continues after a few days / a week because there could be a chance that the iud was misplaced. But I hope it’s just normal iud cramps that will go away soon!!

No. 331986

i've basically grown up watching my parents' unhappy marriage and my father being the abusive motherfucker he is. i feel tainted, i can't even talk to anyone about my family because of embarrassment. i feel like i don't deserve a friend or a lover who has grown up in a healthy family and it's fucking pathetic. i want to move on. i don't want all the insecurities i have to effect the relationships i have with people. how do you manage to get over the trauma and find people you can be happy with?

No. 331993

>>331986
>how do you manage to get over the trauma
It's about deconstructing the behavior of your parents and realizing that their mannerisms aren't innately inside you too just because you have their blood.
You have to understand and define what you went through. It's helped me heal and realize that just because I was witness to fucked up shit doesn't mean I don't deserve nice relationships and things.

I grew up a sensitive child because I was often expected to meet the emotional needs of my narcissistic mother while behaving perfectly under the watch of my selfish father who couldn't be had with the inconveniences of a child such as crying or needing attention. Even though they had been divorced since I was a baby, I was often caught up in their proxy wars against each other and witnessed a lot of fighting and emotional abuse. Even when they'd get new partners, I caught on to situations where I knew it signaled their relationships weren't going smoothly.
But what did I know then? I assumed it was normal for families to be having these nasty fights behind the scenes and to treat their children in the way I was being treated (and if they didn't well then maybe that indicated those children were spoilt or something).

It wasn't until my early 20s that I realized I had a fucked family dynamic and I literally recall saying "Oh shit."
I haven't had my biological father in the picture since I was a preteen, but my mom is still a major issue and I always have to caution whoever it is I'm dating if I'm serious about them. Especially if I intend to introduce them to her. She's extremely toxic.
But it's helped to recognize her impact she has on my decisions and feelings. Sometimes when I feel insecurities building inside me (that she so graciously imprinted onto me), I just remember where those feelings originate and how they're not a reflection of the healthy reality I'm trying to lead.

I'm not sure if what I'm saying is all that helpful, I know it's different for everyone and I certainly wish you the best anon.

No. 332014

File: 1543607707960.png (385.52 KB, 808x805, 1500775886464.png)

Apparently I've wasted six months of my year visa because I was waiting for them to send me papers saying I could work.
Apparently they failed to tell me that my visa starts the day I sent the application, even though I didn't hear from them during those six months and was told I could not legally work.
Apparently they failed to mention that I could receive a special stamp that signifys I could work while I was waiting but there is zero information about this anywhere on any official government site.

I am so full of fucking rage and sadness I am literally out of tears. I wasted six months being depressed out of my fucking mind because they failed to mention any of this information to me. I am truly fucked lol

No. 332017

>>332014
Save up for an immigration lawyer. They're worth the investment because immigration is always a shitshow of omissions and misinformation.

No. 332019

>>331986
Unfortunately counseling/therapy and reading self-help books seem to be the way to go

Personally I have been trying to look at ACOA books because my dad is an alcoholic and my mother is his enabler

No. 332028

>>332017
I was considering that but I think I'm just truly fucked. None of the visa options apply to me because I'm not an EU resident and I highly highly doubt I could be considered a skilled worker (need to make at least €3,300 per month).

The woman on the phone just said "sorry for the inconvenience" about the fact that I literally wasted six months of my fucking life waiting for them to process my application.

Lol now I feel like crying again fuck. I just wish I was successful and could fucking move here. I want to pay taxes, I want to work, I'm learning the language and culture.
My own home country treats the immigrants, legal or not, better than the fucking citizens so I'm fucked when I go back too.
Hahaha

No. 332031

>>332028
what country are you in? and where do you originally come from?

No. 332062

File: 1543614821665.jpg (33.27 KB, 312x258, tumblr_nk61v2DAdy1qcdfwbo1_400…)

my portfolio for art school is due in january and i don't have shit yet.
But I haven't done finished works in years and all this information on how to make a good portfolio is just messing with my head and blocking me up even more.
And I know that art is my calling and deep inside it's the thing I love and enjoy the most but it also feels like I just don't care or don't have the capacity anymore due to some self inflicted brain damage from being so depressed for all these years. Still I technically draw all the time, just without any passion or focus.
worst thing is I'm a neet and I have nobody to consult about it plus my mom is giving me money to get art supplies and they're just sitting here which makes me feel so guilty. Idk just what to do if things don't work out somehow.

No. 332065

>>332062
just look at it a different way, instead of worrying about it, turn it into something for you. if you have guidelines/requirements for what needs to be in it, take those and instead make them prompts for a piece. i guess it depends on what kind of art, but even add some of those randomly generated prompts into the mix.

sorry if this isn't helpful, but i did this with my graphic design mock portfolio and it was easier to make it like a game. what kind of art do you make? i had to do a lot of dumb logos and crap and me and my friends made up a bunch of stupid fake company backstories for me to work with, made it quite fun.

No. 332066

>>332062
Stop wasting energy worrying and get to work. I don’t care if you don’t feel like it, just show up and do the work. Stop waiting for the muse. Just start. Or don’t go to art school. Your choice.

No. 332089

>>332065
It's for fine art and animation and there aren't any real guidelines besides that there should be 10 paintings and around 20 sketches.
There should also be an underlaying theme to it. (thought about ecosysthems and the coexistence of things) but I'll try the random prompt thing!!
>>332066
You're right. Letting this out made me feel a little bit calmer. I think it's doable, and somehow it will work out…
thank you, anons!

No. 332118

i have this weird thing where i always see myself as fat (especially on my legs) and it probably doesn't help that i strive to look like a kpop idol or those cute asian girls. i'm seriously thinking of not eating for a while even though i know it's not healthy

No. 332149

>>331862
yeah honestly that's why I feel kinda shitty about it, I feel like I'm confirming the stereotype of lesbians actually wanting dick when obviously that's not true. I spent a while in lesbian circles and the last thing I would want to do is cause harm to them! (Luckily not many people knew about my sexuality in high school at least?)

My close friends who are lesbians told me they understood sometimes you just don't have it all figured out but damn I do kinda feel like I'm letting them down lol

I guess I just wish there was less of a pressure for teenagers to label themselves sexuality wise, because looking back I was probably just a really late bloomer sexually compared to most people. Spending a lot of time on tumblr as a teen definitely didn't help either

No. 332150

My appetite has gone down the shitter and I might be losing weight, but don't trust the scale at home vs the doctor's.
I think I have some body image problems where I feel too big, or not curvy enough/like my butt is too small. I've got a thick waist but it's mostly from working out and is just my body type, not fat, and my thighs have gotten bigger from working out too. Sometimes I feel really amazing about myself, though.
I want to get more of my appetite back because I think losing weight isn't making me look more proportionally curvy and just less. I don't even think it's because of my body image, it's because I'm too lazy or don't feel like eating and get full too quickly.

No. 332153

>>332149
i think that is what gets me. kids are expected to have their sexuality figured out while they are still developing and understanding themselves.

i do feel bad that lesbians get a bad rap because of silly college flings or porn. but i wish on a whole we could start affording kids and teenagers to really discover themselves without having to place them with a lifelong label.

No. 332169

This guy won't leave me alone. First he makes me feel like shit but right before he gets to be too harsh, he'd fucking adore me, say how i am such a goddamn icon and amazing. We were friends for about 3 years, maybe less. He knew of me before I knew him and there always was this weird…vibe to him? Like it felt like having an actual fanboy? He latched onto me, I liked it ngl, like wow mY oWn GaY bFf.

He hated all my other friends except for a few, straight up told me to never mention them due to him NOT GIVING A FUCK. I felt so trapped in a way, even tho i still hung out with my other friends, but group things never worked out due to this guy getting pissy about everything.

He started a new fancy job, got fancier friends and got way cockier. Like toxic levels of cockiness, made me feel so shitty about my skills in the same field. Got sick of his bs, and told him to cut the shit, he wasn't so perfect and he needed to stop talking about others like they were dirt. He just…took it? But after a while, he got busier and busier. I started school again and got busier, felt happier and lighter.

HALF A YEAR GOES BY, people keep asking about him, I keep telling that there was no fight bc there wasn't. But everybody kept saying how toxic he seemed and i told about everything from him being an asshole to him gaslighting me. Now he fucking messaged me, wants to hang out. Why. The. Fuck. If i am so fucking shitty, why the hell do you wanna hang out?

No. 332182

>>331863
>>331866
>>331871
>>331985

original iud anon here, thanks for the support/suggestions anons! the pain has subsided quite a bit, and heavy-ish but normal bleeding has started. the worst of it is probably over.
and yeah, i'd much rather suffer iud cramps than experience pregnancy/giving birth lol

No. 332227

I’m in a desperate attempt to get over my ex fast!
She apparently got over 10 years in less than two months and honestly I want too as well
It’s driving me crazy when I’m so sad and depressed while she’s got an online boyfriend
Ugh I need help

No. 332245

>>332227
2 months in comparison to a decade is a drop. she seems to have had her own set of issues to throw away 10 years for an online fling.

No. 332299

small vent
i'm tired of seeing that annoying ass uwu bobblehead ariana grando everywhere

No. 332348

(sage for "first world probs") I'm irrationally angry that my favorite cheap ass tank tops are being made much larger compared to a year or two ago so that an XS is way too big for me. I wear a tank top under everything rather than bother with a bra, but now when my old ones get too ratty or stained, I can't just conveniently get a new one at the store. Anyone got any recs for somewhere that sells tank tops for under $3?

No. 332357

I am tired of being so obsessed with aging. Everyday I spend hours and hours looking at the mirror pointing out my flaws and what can make me look older. It's ruining my life because I can't think about anything else. When I go out with friends, I secretly compare my skin with their skin to see who has less wrinkles. It ruins everytging because I can't properly enjoy the moment. It gives me a lot of anxiety too. I have wasted a lot of money on "anti-aging" products that don't really work. People say I'm still very young to be worrying about it but to be honest I feel old.
I just want to stop with this mania, I really want to stop.

No. 332363

I feel I am terribly addicted to the internet, that I lost motivation in real life. It has to do with the fact that I don't have a lot of friends in real life. My only 3 friends are always busy in their own lives meanwhile I just browse the web all day. I'm really depressed too.
everything on my real life is really mundane and boring. I've tried to go out or find a hobby but I just lose motivation. My grades are surprisingly high even though I never study but I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do that in university, if I even get to go there.
Also the stuff I browse on the internet is always dark and depressing and I feel it's taking a toll on my mental health too.
help

No. 332431

>>332348
Goodwill kids section?

No. 332436

>>332357
You are wasting your mental energy on this. Every single living organism ages and dies. It's inescapable. Fucking enjoy your life, Christ.

Also carrying around this negative shit will show on your face and attitude whether you realize it or not, and it's an ugly look. And you don't want to be ugly, anything but that, right anon?!

No. 332466

>>332357
I used to be like you, I'm now in my late 20s btw, and seeing so many older people (40+) both women and men trying to look half their age by dressing inappropriately made me rethink my stance on aging.

I can see why in this day and age of narcissism people would want to prolong their youth. But if you reach an older age and the only thing you can concern yourself is looks, then you have a bigger problem. When you age, you should have a good amount of experience and skills to be proud of. The maturity that hopefully comes with age should trump being attractive.

I don't mean by that elder people should abandon sense of style or stop caring about looks, but the fashion sense and self care should be age appropriate.

tbh I'm disgusted by people that are so obsessed with looks that they go through cosmetic surgeries, are thirsty for attention from strangers and seek validation through dressing like a cheap prostitute/gigolo.

No. 332551

A few years ago during a period of national leaving exams there was a girl at my school who had anxiety and autism. I don't think there's room to dispute either, although her autism definitely wasn't as severe as she's now making it out to be. The school paid thousands training teachers to help her through her exams, which she barely showed up to take, gave her tons of extra tuition and took pains to make her feel included by announcing details about her "art career" (she made unoriginal art and fuelled it with a sob story and gained opportunities that any artist I know would LOVE to have through fairly mediocre artistic merit). She's now gone on national TV and claimed that nobody ever tried to understand her or care, the school never did anything to help her and she's now "recovering" lmao. I'm so mad that someone would get so far irl, online and in the art world just on a sob story (autism doesn't even limit artistic ability) while still being totally ungrateful about everything that's been handed to her, so ungrateful that she goes public and hurts the feelings of people who put time and attention into helping her.

No. 332568

This is such a petty vent, but it has been bothering me for months. There is this woman in my friend group who tries incredibly hard to be perceived as this adorable smol bean, often citing that she’s so much younger than the rest of the group (she’s 21, the oldest person in our group is 24) and constantly posting selfies in the group chat posing like a wittle anime girl always with the caption “call me cute!” Or “aren’t I adorable?” Didn’t really care all that much, because she was fun to goof around with and she’s been like this for some time now. My main beef I have with her is that she’s obsessed with one of the guys in our group. Her entire personality changed, this smol bean persona has ramped up to a million, and everything she does is for her precious daddy. She tries incredibly hard to garner his attention, pretending to be interested in literally everything he is into, trying very hard to come off as a perfect waifu by cooking for him and buying his parents presents (meanwhile she don’t do any of that for anyone else in the group) and spending a ton of money of her object of affection constantly buying him gifts, food, etc. What’s worse is it’s painfully obvious that he was already hooking up with someone else in our friend group. She has to know this, considering she is always trying to undermine bitch-Chan and her precious daddy’s relationship. Claiming that her other friends think that bitch-Chan and precious daddy are just cousins and that precious daddy is dating smol bean and it’s a perfect super obvious relationship. She has tried to reason the fact that the reason precious daddy and bitch-Chan slept in the same bed at a party is because “they’re good platonic friends uwu.” I just wish those two fuckers would come out with it already so I wouldn’t have to endure Smol Bean going on for hours about her precious daddy when we hang out. I just want my damn cringy friend back!!! Goddammit!!

No. 332571

how do i stop "stalking" my ex on his socials? i'm 100% over him, i'm not upset about him getting a new gf or anything, or any other reason people stalk their exes. the only reason i still look is because i'm scared. i'm paranoid about him mentioning me or talking about me and i feel like i have to keep an eye out to protect myself. not even a month ago he was still talking about our "bitter breakup" and calling me a crazy bitch, etc. he never mentioned me by name directly, but… it couldn't have been anyone else, you know? i'm still scared of him going all revenge porn on me or something since he genuinely resents me for the way i ended things and he doesn't forget what he views as slights. i really, really don't want to look at his posts about him and his new soul mate uwu, but i never know when/if he could snap. i feel like i'm constantly looking over my shoulder and the daily paranoia is horrible for my mental health. any advice?

No. 332576

I fucking hate the people in my neighbourhood. They are constantly pestering me with their stupid loud music at the weekend. Those shitstains are doing it again rn in the middle of the night & I'm slowly going insane because I have to wake up early tomorrow. I really want to call the police but my parents get angry at me when I suggest it like "What will the neighbours think if it comes out that we called the police at uwu fun loving people?!".
I fucking hate loud people, their loud ass music and their stupid parties. I have the urge to go over and just smash their heads in. I hope they all burn in hell and die of alcohol poisoning.

No. 332593

I don’t give a fuck about male kpop artist, I just don’t! I’ve spent too much time making fun of kpop Stans because I thought the genre was so fucking stupid, but now I’m obsessed with female kpop groups. I’m an idiot and also a clown.

No. 332613

>>331705
Everytime I scroll past this picture all I hear in my head is "you've hee'd your last haw" and I havent a fucking clue why.
Yeah i'll go now.

No. 332635

>>332613
my fucking sides

No. 332645

>>332576
God, I feel for you. I'm a light sleeper and I hate when people are inconsiderate and make loud noise at unreasonable times. I would absolutely call the police on them. Is there a way you can leave an anonymous tip? Or just don't tell your parents you were the one to call the police. Unless you live in a really rural neighborhood, it could be any of your neighbors who called and you can easily tell your parents, "guess I wasn't the only one bothered by the noise!"

No. 332667

>>332593
Same. Imo, female voices just sound better. I've also noticed companies also always have better outfits and music videos for girl groups (even though kpop outfits can always be pretty ridiculous, regardless of gender).

No. 332679

>>332571 maybe ask a friend to follow his shit and let you know if he ever decides to go revenge porn on your ass? like that's not the best solution but if you rrrreally need to know but don't wanna think about him all the time, that's what i'd do.

No. 332684

>>332571
that doesnt sound like being 100% over it but whatever helps you sleep at night stalker-chan

No. 332694

i need to learn a new language in 3 years or so in order to get this prospective job offer that'd make me a lot of money and i have no idea where to start. duolingo helps but i feel like it's not going to get me to fluency. this is a first world problems vent sorta thing but i'm stressing out over it hardcore idk.

No. 332696

>>332694
There's no way Duolingo alone will do it, though I would say 3 yrs to fluency is near impossible unless you're completely immersed. But either way no one resource can be used alone for learning a language, you should be combining Duolingo with a proper textbook, audio lessons, etc.

No. 332708

>>332694
Doulingo might be a good start but it definitely won’t make you fluent. Try taking classes or travel to a country where the language is spoken for pratice.

No. 332715

I had a gecko jumping at me and following me in the kitchen and it seriously made me scared

Idk if animals can feel hatred but that's the impression I got

No. 332720

>>332715
Little guy was really trying for that 15% or more with the hard sell

No. 332721

>>332715
Anon, this scenario is just adorable

No. 332729

I’m so fucking tired of my bulimia. My life is a fucking mess and my heart is breaking. I used tho think this shit was psychologial but there is no thinking aspect of this anymore. Slightest stress and i’m back in the bathroom. Fucking pathetic.

No. 332740

i wish my bf didn't force me to play overwatch with him and his friends. they always get pissed off at me if i fuck up. overwatch is my one of my favorite video games but they have to ruin it for me

No. 332765

>>332740
Anon i just left a really hard situation. My boyfriend is 30 and obsessed with video games. He plays all day every day instead of doing shit with his life. He has no real life friends or anything. When we first started dating i told him i wasnt a fan of that and would help him to not play so much so he could better himself and live a more normal life. Overtime however, I got roped into playing the games as well and while it would have been fun if it was an occasional thing, nothing serious, it became like..he wanted me to spend hours and hours day in and day out practicing. This went on for two years. The constant pressure. Him treating me like shit when i didnt play well or wasnt interested or couldnt focus on it. Making me feel stupid. He would legit get upset with me and make me cry and then laugh and say I was being ridiculous. And if i was into a game, like i was with hearthstone for a long time, he'd ruin it because he'd constantly be judging me and making me feel stupid that i wasnt playing to his satisfaction. Even when we werent living together(the relationship was originally long distance and I recently came back to my own country) he constantly pressured me to spend all day any day i didnt work, and even after i got home from work. And for months and months id do it because i didnt want him to leave me. He'd still accuse me of not playing at all. Which was bullshit. I just broke it off the last month, because i couldnt handle it among other things. He has autism and Im pretty sure its one of the contributing reasons he was so obsessive about it, but its not my responsibility to deal with that shit for the rest of my life. If you enjoy playing, thats good and you should continue, but never let your bf or anyone else ruin it for you or force you to be more serious about it than you are. Its a fucking game.

No. 332829

I thought I was doing okay, talking it out with my ex made me seem happier now that I was hoping to get them out of my life
But honestly tonight I tried playing a game we both played…she played it more then I did tbh
And it makes me so sad and miserable to play it by myself
I just think of her and the whole situation and get miserable
I’m going back to cutting myself….it made me feel better anyways

No. 332930

I'm 19 years old and I'm failing my first year of college. I feel really out of place moving to the capital of my country, I don't feel like an adult, I still feel like a child that hasn't lived their childhood. I'm stuck in my head all the time and I fucking hate it, I'm always daydreaming. At one point I thought I was schizotypal or something but I socialize and I'm interested in socializing. I've always imagined myself being an indie singer or an artist or something and when I was a child I had artistic skills and I would paint and attend painting classes before I got depressed.

I cannot focus on anything and everything drives me crazy everytime I try to do something I get extremely angry at myself because I cannot focus and I immediately lose interest and my energy is very low.

I miss my boyfriend and I constantly feel the need to be in a relationship and I fantasize about it. The life I live in my head makes me feel disconnected from reality and I feel like there's no escape.
I also recently started to be a camgirl because I don't have money and I got 3 jobs I got fired from but those jobs couldn't sustain me.
I'm addicted to benzos and weed (I know the weed addiction is not physical) but unless I take 4 lorazepam pills per day I have panic attacks and dissociate like crazy and I cannot leave my house.
I don't have any friends and I became friends with a 25 year old girl in the mental hospital and she failed everything and became a camgirl at a studio (I live in Eastern eu) and now is severely depressed and she cannot get a normal job anymore.

I don't want to end up killing myself
Please

No. 332946

I'm so tired of seeing male posters on lolcow. I don't even consider myself a manhater and mostly scroll past the man hating thread, but as soon as threads obviously made by a man start popping up I know that thread's the culprit.

I wish they could just leave lolcow alone. They do nothing but confirm what shitty people they truly are.

No. 332968

>>332946
I actually don't hate men, but the ones we get here are so dumb, narcissistic and transparent, it certainly isn't making my love grow.
They just go round and round in circes saying the same stupid stuff. Never listening or growing. Like a really dumb pointless robot.

No. 332970

>>332946
same. I hate both the scrots and the farmers replying to them because there's only so much mods can do.

I hate the petty, misogynistic narrative being posted in threads and then being kept alive. The reason why I come on lolcow even though I'm not into gossip, k-pop, or even makeup and what's considered "girly" stuff is because there's something relaxing about being on a site where most posters are women and having discussions that are not centered around baby talk or marriage.

The manosphere has found its way on most of the internet, so you can find redpill diarrhea being posted in places you wouldn't expect, heavy misogynistic rants that seem to have massive upvotes/thumbs up/claps etc. and it was so nice to have a place where male posting was against the rules. It used to be a like a dash of fresh air. Even with infighting, nitpicking, and so on none of it is close to the hatred against women that's palpable from incels' posts. The passive aggressiveness of baby or ovary related talks, or straight up posting gore images or CP thinking it will do any good.

No. 332971

I am so sick of 'love' its all bullshit. I'm not a typical romantic person & dont place a lot of importance on having a relationship. I was talking to an ex of mine & her and I were really hitting it off. We started going on dates and staying over with each other. She was telling me how happy she was that I came back into her life and how much I meant to her. She constantly was telling me shit like this & how she wanted a relationship with me again. Come to find out, she's got a boyfriend and has for the past month.
Its all bullshit. I'm venting rn and maybe I sound like a little bitch but what the hell is wrong with me? I try so hard to be good to her and she tells me all these sweet things but obviously I dont mean shit to her. If it was just sex, no problem. Ive had fwb with ex's and am good at keeping my distance but she was talking about us having a future together.

I've had this happen with a close friend who I gave a chance too. She talked about how we're most likely going to get married and should just do it and talks about how much I am to her but when push came to shove she left me for a crackhead.

It seems like everytime I let my guard down with someone and let them in I get thrown into the trash. There are a couple of other instances but I'm not going to wallpost. I am just sick of the bullshit. I want honesty and I cant seem to get that from anyone in my romantic life. I know this is me probably being a titty baby but I just need to get it out. I feel so inadequate, I'll never mean enough to someone that theyll commit to me.

No. 332973

>>332970
We need to make a lolcow chat forum with HEAVY moderation. They obviously are googling stuff about man hate and penis' and finding this site.

Or go to war and post stuff about kittens and periods on every thread until they fuck off. 500 comment thread where we break down every ingredient in our favorite mascara.

No. 332981

>>332973
> We need to make a lolcow chat forum with HEAVY moderation.

This. Or just create a new place accessed only with an invitation.

> Or go to war and post stuff about kittens and periods on every thread until they fuck off. 500 comment thread where we break down every ingredient in our favorite mascara.


Yeah, but we'd be stooping on their level and continuing the vicious circle. The problem is not just them, it's also other anons that despite warnings and pleas continue to engage in discussions with them. They feed on replies and the response they get.

One of those raiding retards posted a link here to an imageboard where they had a thread about this site and some of the posts stated how they liked the reaction and enjoyed it.

If they clearly get a satisfaction from getting any response then why give it to them? They won't change their mind. They won't stop hating us. There's no point at all.

No. 332999

>>332981
>This. Or just create a new place accessed only with an invitation.

Sounds good, but how would it work?

No. 333020

>>332999
Only a few anons who know each other, probably through voice chat would be able to invite other anons that they trust are indeed women. The anon inviting is responsible for all others under her invitation. So, the moment someone is clearly a man, the anon that invited him gets a warning, the second time the anon and all under her or him get a ban.

The site would have no SEO, so no google search or image search could lead to the site. It would be a closed community of anons discussing whatever they like, without men.

There would be a trust-o-meter, like an upvote system where you could vouch for other anon's trustiness so they could get access to other forum tiers, like steam community, or a chat, or some cool exclusive torrents and stuff like that.

It might sound strict but I don't see any other way of making sure that we don't have guys invading the little internet space we've got. I just want a break from all the red pill and incels and to get off my fucking back when I just want to chill.

I only want an internet tree-house for us. I don't know how many other anons would be interested to join such a place because having only two of us posting on a super secret site wouldn't be fun either.

No. 333022

>>333020
could go super sperg like Skinny Gossip and have it that you need to take a photo of some (non-identifying) feminine aspect of yourself with the date on a sheet of paper.

No. 333023

>>332973
Stay off r9k and we'll leave this place.

No. 333025

>>332981
That was me.

No. 333033

>>333022
that's possible too. In any case, I might build or find a software for such a forum and see how other anons would prefer to identify themselves provided there's any interest at all. I've seen anons with dope photoshop skills to be wary of timestamps and so far I haven't seen or heard of a good voice changer from male to a female voice, not that someone couldn't hire a woman to do it… it sucks to be paranoid but I'd be open to any suggestions.

No. 333056

>>333033
Please do!

No. 333065

>>333056
Thanks, I will give it my best.

No. 333086

(long but I need to vent haha)

I'm a whole adult.
I've been with my guy for years and he has a few "feminine" habits(likes to shave, long hairbut I've always thought about what it would be like with a woman.
When growing up I thought I was straight until one day around the year after secondary school, was doing evening classes to get some grades up before I signed up for.college,

I had this cute girl in my class she looked like one of those popular girl she had the cutest round face, luscious dark skin, beautiful brown eyes and a body I'd kill for.

She was SO nice to me, I didn't understand why cause I was like..soft Butch goth girl back then who was into video games.
We were both young adults but she was already working and I'm fresh out of school. Then I met my current guy and we have been together since.

But I always think back about her. I find her so beautiful, I really wanted to kiss her.

Even before her, I was now in the senior years in school, (all girls school) our school had the lesbians as the popular cool girls, they did sports and we're just popular.


One girl in my technical drawing class, she wasn't the school popular lesbian but she was just a popular girl in general, I was also lame and a band geek and got teased alot.

This girl was completely different than the other girl. She approached me she has short curly hair, bright hazel/greeb eyes, very light skin and much taller than me.

She just eventually started sitting next to me in class. Gaze up at me asking me so much question about myself or what I like. It was werid cause when popular ppl talked to.me, it was usually a plan to humiliate me for kicks.

But she didn't do that after a few months, she even stopped ppl from teasing me so she can talk to me
At the end of the year she gave me a white fluffy teddy bear and told.me never to dump it. (Dead serious she was)

The entire school bus home thought it was a man who gave me but.it was her. I still have the bear after year and years.

Those are my two female crusehes in my life.

I'm attracted to my current guy but if j was single I would be open to date women too…but I will never know cause I'm faithful and I sometimes wish I explored my sexuality more. I just thought I straight but this has been in the back of my mind for ages…

Don't wanna claim bi tho…since I never been with a woman… But I always wonder where those two are and if they are okay.

No. 333117

>>333020
Make this, please. I need this in my life.

No. 333146

currently having a mental breakdown so this is probably gonna sound completely incoherent but man do I just wanna fucking move away, drop out of uni and live on a deserted island.

No matter what I do, everything goes wrong. I kind of deserve it because I hate myself so fucking much that I understand why my friends treat me like shit. I'm such a loud, hyperactive, obnoxious, insecure piece of shit. At the same time I can't help but pity myself. I try so damn hard and put my heart and soul inte friendships and my studies but my mental state is so fucking fragile, that any inconvenience completely wrecks me and makes me fail at everything.

It's so unfair. It's so unfair that I had to go through severe depression when I was little kid, cause that shit doesn't leave you. No matter how many anti-depressants, depression will never leave you once you've experienced it. Depression makes you a shell of what you used to be. All that is left of me is a mentally unstable, passionless, insecure little piece of shit. I hate myself so much

No. 333162

>>333020
I want this.
I just wanna connect with women. The internet is just male dominated like everywhere else. I just wanna be around women..

No. 333165

>>333020
I want this too!!! IDK how I would prove that I am a woman as I don't know anyone here but I would love to be a member of such a community.

No. 333172

Does anyone remember the Onision discord chat we had going on last year? It was so chill.

No. 333178

>>333020
There is a lesbian dating app where you have to record your voice to be verified as a member. Something like that?

No. 333194

I've been sadsturbating a lot recently. I'm not sure if I'm trying to cope w heartbreak or I'm just bored out of my fucking mind. I'm concerned, but I can't stop.

No. 333212

>>333194
>sadsturbating
What is that?

No. 333214

>>333165
A very minimal amount of anons know each other offline, I hope anyone female can join the possible new women-only site, without needing to be buddies with someone.

No. 333230

I'm super stressed and my anxiety problems are showing up again at the point that every crisis is getting harder to handle. I've stopped eating again I'm concerned that would be a problem soon because those are old habits that i've developed when my axiety was at my highest point. I can't talk about this to my boyfriend because he is dealing with his own depression. Sometimes I feel like our relationship is doomed because of our demons taking us apart but I'm so tired to fight, I have so many thing to do and I'm very sad.

No. 333233

>>333212
Sad masturbation

No. 333236

>>333117
>>333162
>>333165
Thank you! It's good to know there's a small number of us that like the idea. I will work on it over the holidays because atm I don't have much time. Even if there will be just a few of us, at least it will be comfy.

>>333214
Well, there's the voice verification like this anon pointed out >>333178
But yes, you're correct. Hopefully, a forum, not an imageboard, with a more strict moderation + voice verification will be enough to minimize the number of men raiding our spaces. I really like lolcow, and I'll continue using it regardless but all these incels overflowing the front page with their recognizable posts are tedious. You hide one thread, soon after you need to hide three more. This isn't to blame the mods but obviously, these incels have too much time on their hands and will just shitpost out of boredom when all they have to do is reply without being verrified in any way.

No. 333255

>>333236
It's cool that you are serious about this anon.
How/where would you announce the board when it's finished? I wouldn't want to miss it.

No. 333278

File: 1543778953956.jpg (90.33 KB, 500x738, cry.jpg)

I put my pet cat of 14 years down this morning. I'd had him since he was a newborn, he was from a litter my big brother's cat gave birth to. He was actually born the day after my birthday. I cried a lot more than I expected to, but it was just so hard to say goodbye to him. I was also sad to see him go the way he did, he suddenly became horribly ill the two or three days, he stopped eating, started vomiting a lot, became lethargic and today when I took him in he was practically unresponsive to any kind of stimulation. The vet said they could run a bunch of tests and that I'd likely have to take him to emergency but that it didn't look good, with him being so severly ill and elderly. I knew it was pointless, so I told them to put him down.

I've never had to put a pet down before, I was there with him and pet him as they injected him. I don't know if he knew I was even there, but I put my face down on his stomach one last time and kept petting him and I just sobbed. Maybe it sounds ridiculous, but he was like a little baby to me. I even said out loud 'oh, my little baby' while I was crying, I didn't want to leave him, but I knew I had to. I started crying again now thinking about it … I just miss him a lot, and I'm going to miss cuddling with him and how jealous he'd get if I pet my other cat and not him, how he'd meow and demand his share of attention. I loved him a lot, and I had him since I was in 5th grade.

No. 333279

>>333278
None of what you've said here is ridiculous. You loved him, and he was well-loved right until the end.

I'm really sorry for your loss, anon. Stay strong and thank you for sharing your story.

No. 333280

>>333278
hey anon. i'm glad you got to be with him. i recently had to put my cat down too, but it was so sudden, i couldn't be there for it. i had him since i was three, and he was 16 years old.

i'm sure he knew you were there, because it really is just like going to sleep, and appreciated it as much as a cat can.

No. 333281

>>333278
I'm sorry, anon. Losing a pet is never easy, and it's even harder when it's one you've cared for their whole life.

I think even if your cat was kind of out of it, on some level he probably understood you were there with him and felt comforted by it. Even if it was just on an instinctual level, he could smell and hear and feel you beside him, and I'm sure that was soothing and comforting to him.

No. 333286

>>332062
Don't slack off too much but also make sure you give yourself some down time, I was in the same position as you pretty recently and I almost burnt out because of feeling the way you do. What you're doing is hard and it should feel hard, there is nothing wrong with you for feeling stressed or stuck. However its absolutely doable! Not everything needs to be perfect, just show that you are someone who can put in effort and cares about what they're doing. Things will work out one way or another

No. 333639

File: 1543835835604.gif (1.63 MB, 245x160, tumblr_inline_o0kobmAlaf1sklbc…)

I slept with a coworker I’ve only known for a month and now I lowkey or maybe highkey regret it. We get along and there was mad sexual tensions going on every time we worked together so it felt natural that we were going to hook up at some point. I just didn’t think it would happen so quickly.
We didn’t really talk about it or set up any type of rules. After we hooked up for the second time and we both said we wanted to continue we agreed on staying friends with benefits for now. It felt right at first because he kept treating me like he always did. But now I’m starting to feel like he’s keeping me at a distance at work and I’m worried it’s because I did something wrong without knowing.
I get jealous of other people too and it makes me feel so childish. Last night when we all went out for drinks after our shift one of the girls kept asking about our relationship and if we were only friends with benefits or something more. When we both responded with ”we’re only fwbs” she started clinging to him and telling me stuff like ”he’s actually kind of cute now that I’m drunk” even though she’s told me several times that she’s interested in someone else. I got mad jealous and just had a really bad time all night.
It feels unfair for me to get jealous when we’re not exclusive in any way and we never agreed on not seeing other people. I know I have no right to hold him back just because I’m an insecure attention hungry bitch that wants him for myself. I don’t know if he ONLY wants me as a fuck buddy after work or if it’s okay for us to like go on dates every once and a while or just hang out. I don’t even know if he’s seeing other girls. I’m starting to think I’m just not cut out for this type of relationship but I’m worried that if I break it off now he won’t want to see me again even as friends. It feels like we both just kind of fell into this because we get along and we’re attracted to each other but neither of us know how it works and we’re not comfortable talking about it. Idk, something just doesn’t feel right.

No. 333641

File: 1543836967510.png (605.83 KB, 733x639, 1531544713768.png)

Yet another year of being a kissless virgin will soon begin.

The "just wait for the right person" won't happen, I'm sure. My circles are quite hermetic, and going out never resulted in meeting someone new. I don't even want a boyfriend tbh, I just want… an experience, I guess?

I feel like I missed out on those young stupid relationships and it hindered my growth as a person. Like I feel the need to go through a silly relationship… and people my age are getting engaged or pregnant.

I'm like a love retard, really.

I regret being such a moralfag and rejecting boys just because I didn't feel anything for them. Now I think I should have been like okay let's try it, even if we would break up in a month. I wouldn't feel such a pressure now, wouldn't be so fucking awkward around guys (maybe), wouldn't be so embarrassed…

How is it to hold one's hand? How do you kiss? Does it feel nice or just wet and weird? What is it like to be in love, what do you feel when your person embraces you in their sleep?

Yeah, I'm in one of those moods.
Maybe I should just sign up for Tinder lol. I even downloaded it but they spooked me with asking for my phone number.

No. 333642

Chinese social media trends are the worst. I hate these cool new videos of husbands showing a picture of their wife at their marriage when they are thin and then filming their wives as they are now, usually getting out of bed to demonstrate how they have gained weight. It's just so rude, and in half of them they have babies and young children. Why are you going to degrade someone that you're supposed to love and that risks their life to bring your children into the world? This is dumber than that A4 paper trend.

No. 333644

>>332089
If you're still lurking, doing observational drawing usually helps get my gears in motion when I'm in a slump. And just drawing and painting things I love (animals). But that anon that said that you just have to do the work is right. Don't wait around for mythical inspiration to raise its head and magically fuel you, you have to fuel yourself. You are capable of doing this. Turn off the computer and get to drawing!

No. 333645

>>333641
yes, Tinder is your answer. Depending on where you youe, you can give OkCupid a shot too

No. 333646

>>333641
>I regret being such a moralfag and rejecting boys just because I didn't feel anything for them.
>What is it like to be in love?
I doubt you'll ever know. You just want to be like every normie so you can fit in, and what's the point of that? Would you be happy getting fucked by guys that pretend to care about you, just so you don't see yourself as a kissless virgin loser?

No. 333647

>>333639
Sometimes workplace relationships can develop into something legitimate, but the phrase "don't shit where you eat" exists for a reason. Why aren't you more concerned about how this is going to affect your job? The definition of "friends with benefits" is non exclusivity. He probably is deliberately keeping distance from you at work and it's possible he's slept with other women, not just your coworker, already. If you want more than sex, tell him, and if you don't feel comfortable having that discussion with him, stop sleeping with him. I really hope you're not working towards a career because your work environment is inevitably fucked.

No. 333648

>>333642
I'm curious in seeing a few examples of this trend but can't find any. What search term do I use?

No. 333649

I have had norovirus for the past couple days and I feel like garbage but the worst part is I literally infected myself by using my sisters toothbrush (she was sick before me) so I would have an excuse not to eat for a little bit

literally this anorexia has made me completely insane to the point where I'm fucking poisoning myself to lose weight and I have no idea what to do about it I've done multiple different treatment programs in the last year and nothing has helped

No. 333657

>>333645
I used OkCupid since it's less "invasive" than Tinder, but it's not used much in my country. I enjoyed talking with guys from all around the globe but for an English exercise rather than out of interest. But yeah. Maybe it's time to sell my number to Tinder

>>333646
>You just want to be like every normie so you can fit in, and what's the point of that?
I don't know, having a normal life? Of course I'd rather want that than being a lonely miserable person. Why are you assuming guys would pretend to care about me? It's not about seeing myself as this or that, I just want to experience love and relationship.

No. 333674

>>333641
This is a bad time for dating right now, I suggest looking up the terms "fuckboy" "ghosting" and "breadcrumbing". Most guys just want sex and they will lie amd cheat to get it. If you are looking for "love", dating sites are not the way. Become friends with guys in real life and see what develops over time.

People are too disassociated from reality at the moment to even feel guilt from their actions. They think dating sites are ways to order free sex to their house at their convenience.
I used to be like you. Look for guys in real life and take it VERY slow. If you just want a hookup, use those sites.

No. 333685

>>333646
This. I'm a kissless virgin too and nearing my 30's, but I simply don't feel like I'm missing anything. I don't want to have sex just because I'm supposed to and so that I could fit in with the normies because nobody in my life has EVER asked if I'm a virgin. People have manners better than that. I believe it's just futile to force it, would you really feel like your life is more complete if some dude stuck his dick in your vagina for a moment or kissed you? Do you think it would make you a better person? If so, how? Love can be simulated by other things than a man in your life.
Then again I also think I'm a lesbian in denial because guys just don't do anything for me on a spiritual, romantic or a sexual level whereas I've had a million crushes on girls.

No. 333686

I don't know what's wrong with me…i eat healthy, I'm prescribed adderall so I'm taking that, and i also don't eat large portions but i still happen to gain weight. I sometimes go a week without eating and my weight will either maintain, or go up the second i put something in my mouth. I'm 5'7 and 154 pounds, but I used to weigh 113 and idk how this happened…it's been way harder to lose after i went septic last year and after some other surgeries afterwards, and then i guess i got fibromyalgia from that and it is literally impossible to exercise, never mind go about most of my days like a normal person…

I think the last time i had my thyroid checked was a few years ago and there was nothing wrong, but i do have a very slight goiter, while also having slightly raised testosterone and androdgynen. I just want to lose all this disgusting weight and enjoy food but it's so hard to eat when i think everything is just going to pack on another pound….

No. 333690

>>333685
Do you yearn for a relationship with a woman?

No. 333711

>>333641
You're an idiot. Have fun getting raped.

>>333639
You're also an idiot.

No. 333717

>>333711
What crawled in your ass?

No. 333720

>>333686
what does “eat healthy” even mean? count your calories in a tracker. walk around. ez.

No. 333744

>>333686
113 at 5’7” doesn’t sound healthy, anon. I understand you wanting to lose weight but 113 seems a bit extreme.

No. 333746

>>333720
Anon, she said she's gone a week without eating sometimes and hasn't lost weight.

No. 333751

>>333746
Somehow I don't believe this.

No. 333757

Welp my ex finally got their wish of changing their name to a Japanese one
Even though she’s fucking Hispanic

God she’s a glorified weeb pretending to be Japanese

No. 333764

I feel like most of my friends are friends with me only for them to have someone to talk about themselves. It's stupid to feel this way because I know it's not true, and I'm mostly annoyed at my stupid brain for always making me feel like people are taking advantage of me. I get these small bursts of anger aimed at my friends (thankfully I keep it to myself) and then start feeling like shit bc it's so selfish to hate your friends for being friends with you.

I generally make friends with people who talk a lot since I'm pretty quiet myself and while I do acknowledge that this is not their fault, I still get angry. I wish I didn't feel this way.

No. 333781

My dad NEVER washes his hands after using the bathroom. It is fucking disgusting and a habit he refuses to change for whatever fucking reason. He always has a fucking fit whenever my mom or I point out how utterly disgusting some of his habits are. I hate it.

No. 333804

My boyfriend bores me and I'm thinking about leaving him more and more.

No. 333816

Some dick in my neighborhood has been walking his massive dogs off leash and it freaks me the hell out. They must be some sort of bully cross because they’ve got the ugly blocky heads but they’re huge—they easily weigh more than me. I don’t want to feel uneasy in my own neighborhood, and I don’t know what I would do if one or both of them decided to go after me and my dog. I fucking hate people that don’t respect leash laws and just have to have their dogs off lead like that. It’s so inconsiderate to others. So many families with small children live in this area FFS.

No. 333820

>>333816
Probably mastiffs, OP. They're massive and have the blocky heads.

No. 333872

>>333751
You can not believe it all you want, but it's true. I have done it many, many times throughout my life. Since i take something that is an appetite suppressant it makes it way easier, plus i don't keep a lot of food in the house rhat i can just grab and snack on. All my meals require effort to make, and since i am normally tired and in pain from my chronic illness, it sometimes seems too much of a chore to even accomplish that. I know it sounds bizarre that i just…go a week without eating. I have a slight aversion to the process of chewing food.

No. 333876

>>333720
Small portions, only meats, veggies, and fruits, no white anything, no dairy? Like i said it's very hard to exercise, even walking around at day or grocery shopping takes a huge toll on me and will land me in bed for several days…do you think maybe something is seriously wrong with my body?? I'm worried, because i shouldnt be able to eat as little as i do and still gain from when i do decide to

No. 333880

>>333744
Idk…i weighed that before and sti looked boxy as hell because of my frame. I realize i have ED tendencies but i think i looked ok at that weight??

No. 333889

>>333876
If you're on adderal and still have trouble with weight gain I think you might need to have a visit at a doctor for thyroid stuff, I'm on vyvanse and have trouble keeping at the weight I'm at rn because loss of appetite.

No. 333892

Just joined a discord group 2 days ago and already feel like leaving again:

>my pronouns are … btw!

>lesbian energy, bi king, …
>I'm so short, you need to protecc me!
>I feel like a fetus y'all are so old
>I have asperger. Me too! Yeah, me as well!…
>Ew white! lol - haha - same,…

It's not even for kpop or anime fans, no it's for a metal band…
When did the time come when people no longer simply complained about their problems normally, but now instead always have 100s of diagnosises? Can't you just say "I'm nervous" instead of "Well, my therapist Jenny, she's awesome btw such a sweet girl, always hands me clay and it helps me sooo much. Btw I was diagnsed… years ago… Plus, I have [insert illness] as well."
Also, asssuming a guitarist must have autism, because he "obsesses" over playing guitar and is good at it…? Whenever somebody has any talent people try to paint them as gay and mentally ill, even if that's not the case at all, because afterall "normies and straights" could never…

I feel like there's no online community there I really fit in.

No. 333899

>>333892
With idiots like that I enjoy just going "OK" and then ignoring or not reacting to whatever they said. It pisses them off but all I said was "OK" so they can't get mad.

No. 333926

I know it's a 1st world problem but it's really annoys me how I can't wear Lolita out in public+I would own more Lolita clothing if I replaced Lolita with my normal clothes. I wish someday I would move to Japan or any place that's normalize Lolita (that would never happen because my job is trash) it's suck how you can't express yourself! I hate my clothes I hate my pants I want to feel happier and go out wearing my frilly dresses but unfortunately I can't.

No. 333935

>>333926
If you aren’t asian wearing Lolita would still be abnormal in Japan. You being a non-asian on top of wearing alt fashion would get you a lot of attention.

No. 333943

>>333926
You are such a weeb. It's not like wearing lolita is normal in Japan. And it makes no sense to want to move to Japan just to wear lolita lmao. Just suck it up.

No. 333946

>>333935
>if you aren't asian

it's still abnormal as fuck, and it would be less weird for anon to wear it because they expect that shit from foreigners.

the japanese will accept anon wearing it more than a chinese person.

No. 333951

>>333946
Nah. A foreigner will already get stared at or approached sometimes because they’re different, add a big pink frilly dress to it and it’s even worse. An Asian girl doing it just blends in with the rest of the weirdos. No ones going to look at a Chinese girl and know she’s not Japanese.

No. 333965

>>333943
idg lolita fags. i really don't. i know most of the users here came from /cgl/ and love that shit, but idgi. it's always so tacky and trashy and isn't even cute. the only way it can remotely be cute is if you incorporate small amounts of it into your outfits.

it also looks so uncomfortable and stupid tbh. the clothing and materials look so cheap, too. almost all ___ subculture clothing is insanely cheaply made/the fabrics look so cheap. idek how they're so salty about the fact that they can't embarrass themselves on the daily, add on to the fact that it's not convenient, functional, or comfortable.

No. 333977

I'm approaching 30 and I'm still a kissless virgin. I'll never have a gf. It's almost impossible to find another lesbian in my country that is seriously lesbian and then to have compatible personalities.

I've been alone for so long that I don't even know if I'm relationship material anymore. But I wish I could stop wanting to be in a relationship. I wish I could completely stop feeling "incomplete".

No. 333982

File: 1543871283265.jpeg (62.25 KB, 640x400, 51DC7E11-33C5-4F8A-87EF-EF61C0…)


No. 334032

>>333926
Just wear what you want. Do you live in Saudi Arabia?

No. 334051

>>333278
oh god…i can't even imagine this…my cat is my son, my life. im sorry for your loss.

No. 334052

>>332028
Never trust hotlines for immigration, they truly know nothing. Seconding the lawyer, it's worth getting one (at least for the very beginning of the process). They really simplify the things you need. And also, not trying to kick you while down, but be proactive on this. You're your own biggest advocate- follow up as much as you can. Reading other people's experiences helps a bunch too. I came from Mexico to US so it's not as difficult but I really sympathize with you- I know it's a struggle. Rooting for you.

No. 334054

>>333781
Seeing that buzzfeed piece about guys not fucking wiping their asses makes me weep for the future. Guys are so disgusting. Maybe try to have hand sanitizer somewhere near the bathroom so he could maybe try that?

No. 334085

I keep getting these violent thoughts about wanting to hurt people. I told my mum about how I went to the library and picked up a calculus book and a Japanese book, and she said "Don't tell me you're going back to school to learn Japanese?" and I said no, because I don't, but she looked so disgusted, and I had this violent thought of splashing myself or/and her with the boiling water. I have so many of these thoughts, and been denied mental health and shit. Schizophrenia runs in the family.

God, I want out, I'm so tired.

No. 334099

>>332014
Not to be rude but it seems like it's your fault

No. 334131

>>334091
What’s with this /pol/ shit lately? Go to 4chan or 8chan.

No. 334137

>>334131
You must be new. This isnt pull or tumblr.

No. 334140

File: 1543891461252.jpeg (116.5 KB, 1038x584, 133EFC19-2071-4518-B5A0-B25908…)

I’m fucking sperging because I’m forced to see my therapist from twice/wk to once/wk. I have the money, my mother just doesn’t approve me “wasting” my money. I don’t want to act childish, but part of me wants to get worse so she’ll feel bad. She probably won’t knowing that bitch. I’ll relapse again to fuck with her. I love and hate her. Inb4 BPDf@g.

No. 334142

>>334140
keep seeing your therapist and tf whatever your mom say, dont sabotage yourself because someone else is against your therapy. its not her life

No. 334144

>>334131
I'm so fucking sick of seeing racist shit everywhere, they aren't original or thought provoking in anyway, it's just the same regurgitated crap
>>334137
Nobody thinks it's pull or tumblr, we are just sick of seeing stupid ass /pol/ bait everywhere. Not everyone has the humor of a 13 year old or enjoys spewing racist garbage for laughs.

No. 334145

>>334142
You’re right. I just don’t fucking get her? She wants me to use the money for better things aka give the money to her or to the house. Even if I wanted to do both, pay more bills AND go to therapy twice, she’ll object. She doesn’t even pay for the sessions like bitch chill. No wonder I’m fucked up with a wonderful mother like her.

No. 334147

>>334095
make me :)

No. 334148

>>334145
lol seems like shes upset because she thinks its expendable cash and youre a personal bank. what an ass. sorry anon, im hoping the best for you though

No. 334152

>>334085
that happens to me too, and I believe schizophrenia runs in my family as well, but I'm also aware that I have a lot of repressed anger due to a mixture of letting people treat me badly over the years and hating myself.

Maybe you're experiencing something similar but you're not aware of it yet?

No. 334153

>>331705
I really fucking hate living at home, holy shit, I can barely focus on my classes when my family starts unnecessary drama every second. However I can't see myself dropping 1,000+ dollars for rent, I really wish I worked harder to secure a scholarship.

No. 334166

I am still in love with my ex. I only realised 2 or 3 months ago. It makes sense because I didn't date after we broke up and we remained extremely close friends. He's with someone new.

It fucking kills me knowing they love each other, but we wouldn't work together long term due to clashing culture backgrounds.

I know I just have to get over it and stay away from him for life because it's not fair on him or his girlfriend.

But how do I get over it? When do I stop crying? When will I stop staring at his last seen on WhatsApp like it changes anything? It's so fucking pathetic which is why I haven't told anyone and I'm just writing it on a fucking anonymous board like a wet wipe.

It's just double the blow because he was my best friend too, as well as my "soul mate". How do I fucking process this, compartmentalise it and move the fuck on?

No. 334175

>>334166
sis block his ass on everything right now. you can't start over once you do that. throw yourself into a new hobby and try not to think about him. i know its hard, but it's doable

No. 334192

I'm really waiting on the perfect time to break up with my shit bf. Maybe when his grandma dies soon. I want it to hurt the most.

No. 334241


No. 334295

I feel so numb because I know my relationship isn't salvageable because of my boyfriend's temper. Just empty promises of going to therapy until the next time he screams at me. But I'm so scared to let go because what if he does get better some day?

No. 334334

File: 1543924951054.jpg (47.54 KB, 734x1002, IMG_20170803_125242.jpg)

Im so affraid of making friends now,because i always hate the feeling when that friendship ends either for the better or for the worse.I tend to be the nicest person i can be but it seems like i never made any impression on anyone…people never listens to me,they dont appreciate me and purposely left me out when they go out…Am i too demanding? Am i not good enough? I always ask myself those questions everytime when people do that

No. 334378

I’m part of an expat group on Facebook and a good majority of the black members are making it unbearable. Prefacing posts with “BLACK FOLX ONLY” and sperging out when some mexican member posts on their post. Then we get a weeks worth a posts from a few ass kissing white members and tons of comments about how black womenz have it sooooo hard in the group when they are the first ones to bring race into everything. We end up with 10000 million posts regarding the issue and if you dare disagree a select few them they go on a huge sperg rant in the comments. Admins wont ban one of them because then there will only be more sperging about black women being silenced. Its so fucking annoying, and all because they get butthurt about latinas commenting on a public fucking post. That’s literally all that happened yet we’ve had multiple posts with a victim narrative.

No. 334384

>>334295
I'm in the same boat anon, except in our case it's his depression.
I know it's rough, but have you thought about taking a break and see how it goes?

No. 334467

>>334295
If he hasn't committed to therapy by now he won't unless you cut him off, and even then, he might not. I agree with >>334384 to take a break and tell him if he doesn't seek therapy or other measures to improve his temper you won't get back together with him.

No. 334518

I’m sorry in advance for the long blogpost. Maybe I’m just sleep deprived but I’m so tired and fed up.
i grew up with issues of not being heard or listened to, and I guess it just kind of became ingrained in me that nothing I say is fucking useful and that nobody will hear me anyway. I feel so sad when I think of all the opportunities I’ve missed just because I’m too fucking scared to put myself out there. I can’t even answer a question in class without hating myself and thinking I’ve embarrassed myself if I get the answer wrong. I don’t think a lot of my friends understand, and I feel like a lot of my friends are just tired of hearing from me anyway. People say “just be brave and you will be rewarded” and I’m trying but it’s so hard when you’ve grown up repeatedly being punished for even simply asking a question to a teacher or talking to a doctor or something. My therapist said that these issues run deep and that I should find someone to see on a more consistent basis before she said that we’re parting ways and now I don’t have any more sessions I can really conveniently go to because my parents think therapists are for “crazy people” and that they’ll send you to an asylum or something… I need to find a therapist outside of school but I guess I’m just too lazy and scared!!! I’m just. causing my own problems at this point.
It feels like these past two years a lot of people either forgotten about me and moved on with their lives even though we’ve been friends for a long, long time or they’re just using me. It’s like what can I do other than be used lmao. People don’t talk to me unless they feel shitty about themselves and need a wall to complain to or if they want me to do something for them. How did this become my life? This feels so pathetic. I wish I was someone else. I wish I could reset my life and make younger me grow up with a healthier mindset so I wouldn’t have to deal with this.

No. 334549

File: 1543963356756.jpg (50.4 KB, 885x817, DB-nM7qU0AAbsam-1.jpg)

I think my Christmas spirit has officially died. I feel nothing. Lights, trees, food, desserts, even gifts don't excite me. I feel so indifferent, might as well just sleep through new years eve haha.
is this what adulthood is like

No. 334550

I feel lied to and led on even though it’s not the other persons fault really, it’s my own for getting my hopes up and becoming attached. This guy I had a crush on hung out with me for a bit and said he thinks I’m cute and likes me too, but his ex messaged him and he realized he’s not over her. He was nice about it and said I deserve happiness because I said I feel like I don’t and that it just won’t be with him. I don’t know if that means for now and I never have a chance or temporarily but I don’t know if I could ever get over him. I never liked someone this much in my life and it’s painful and honestly making me kind of crazy. When I told my cousin the exact details of what he sent me she said it sounds like he think I would already be moved on whenever he’s over his ex and he actually does like me but I don’t know if she’s just being nice. It’s fucked up but I admitted myself to a hospital for a little while because I was so hurt I wanted to kill my self.

No. 334562

File: 1543965903808.jpg (366.63 KB, 1076x1078, Screenshot_20181023-174611_Ins…)

very stressed from cramming for exams and generalised future stuff, just want someone to play with my tiddies, recently realised they actually look kinda cute after hating having them for most of my life

No. 334566

File: 1543966542717.gif (608.26 KB, 500x282, 77464e3093800dbd78401ff619b057…)

So…I got dumped again. (I'm the massage anon if anyone remembers lol, not that it matters)

Turns out yes he is very depressed and that he didn't have time because he's been volunteering at the local gym. He wants to become a pt and finally quit his shit job. But instead of telling me any of that he just decided to go silent, yey me. I'm heartbroken but so fucking pissed because in a sense I got led on for a whole fucking year and my Xmas is ruined this year again (he broke up with me least year at the same time). Not that I was expecting anything, but god fucking dammint I hate how he said he's "not feeling it" anymore. Yea moron, maybe because you talked yo me every 3 fucking days and only talked about yourself the whole time. Even now, during the breakup talk it was all about him, he did say he was sorry that he was neglecting me, but fuck, it's not that hard to show a bit of empathy, especially over text. Fuck him. Seriously, fuck him. I've stayed with him through the worst period of his life and now that he's trying to make it better I become obsolete. Fuck you dude and here I though I finally found someone who gives a shit but no.

Thank fuck I live in this tiny town where I can't get a job or make new friends without having connections or coming from a well off family. All I wanted in life was a place for myself and a single fucking person who cares, but no, can't have that.

I know it's not the end of the world but I'm so fucking mad that he got the "better" part of the deal. He made new friends and got closer to his family, is going to his dream university for his dream job and lives in my dream town. Meanwhile I have to wonder if I'll have enough money to support my abusive family because my parents decided to retire and they want to rely on me, even tho I'm 23 and don't have a stable job. Not to mention my manchild brother.

I just can't deal with this shit anymore. Fuck it all.

No. 334575

>>334566
I really do feel for you anon, you deserve the opportunity to make new friends and move on from that asshole.
I was in a very similar situation two years ago, having been broken up with right before christmas. I still live in a tiny town struggling with travelling to uni for hours every day and not being able to make any friends. I promise though, being dependent on the affection of someone who just makes you feel bad all the time is much, much worse than struggling after a breakup, especially if you know he sucks.

No. 334579

>>334575
I'm sorry to hear that :/

And yes, it does feel better, like a huge weight was lifted, also since it's not the first time it's not that bad. If I hadn't initiated the conversation he would've probably continued not talking to me for who knows how long. I hate that it had to end like this after everything but he'll be fine so I'm not too worried. I'm just so so so mad - been wondering how I'll fit into the new group and how to get along better with his parents, find a job that's closer to him so we can be together more often, but yea… no I have to figure out a new direction for myself…and send him his Xmas gift because I already bought everything. I'm just glad I didn't get him that tablet for 4k.

No. 334608

>>334579
fuck that. return or sell the gift. this is the same guy who tardraged over the massage gift cards right? why give him anything else (that he won't appreciate) on top of that?

No. 334613

File: 1543976356318.gif (308.9 KB, 267x200, AF985F56-1984-44CC-9FD5-A11598…)

>>334562
Yay for loving your tiddies anon! I love mine too.

No. 334615

I've been waiting for weeks for the results of bloodwork, finally worked up the nerve to call them - apparently they've been done for awhile and just never bothered to call me…then they were going to tell me the results but "the computer is down" so now I'm waiting for a phonecall and I'm so anxious, I don't want to wait anymore. I keep telling myself they would've called me right away if it was serious, but then again, they seem really incompetent so probably not.

No. 334622

File: 1543981363585.jpg (89.83 KB, 612x596, IMG_1042.JPG)

he ghosted me for two months, but the other day i confronted him about something he did behind my back to get my attention, i knew it was him. nobody else knows my information like he does.
he was expecting it, since he unblocked me finally after weeks, and claimed i did something to him first. said he didnt expect me to react like that to what he did. blamed me for some other mishap in his life, but he only has himself to blame. hes the one exposing his information like that.
its like he tried to switch the topic because he knew he was in the wrong and wanted to play victim. im not having that shit.
after him claiming wanting to talk to me, he demied it again and said he doesnt want to talk under these circumstances.
hes always like this. his life has to be played out in a certain way, everything according to his one track plan and if it isnt how he envisioned it, he wont hesitate to fuck with your mind until hes got you in the place he wants you.
he needs to Die.

No. 334654

Im feeling absolutely like crap right now.

>husband has appointment at hospital

>when we are leaving see this bunny on the grass
>wonder if it's a domestic bunny someone dumped but dont think much about it
>comes and sniffs my husbands hand even
>think maybe since its outside the hospital it's used to humans/being fed
>we leave
>about to fall asleep
>think of the bun again
>google how to tell a domestic vs wild rabbit
>100% sure this was a domestic rabbit now
>crying and feeling generally anxious. Just hope hes okay

We have to go back to the same hospital tomorrow so I'm praying we see him again. I'll scoop him up and take him to a shelter if I do. I feel so stupid i should have thought more about the situation. Or googled right then and there how to tell the difference but didnt think of it.

No. 334664

I think I have to break up with my boyfriend of almost two years and idk when or how I’m going to muster up the will to pull that trigger. I was going to do it after Christmas, especially because he just got a plane ticket to go see my family with me and everyone is expecting him but the more time I spend with him the more i just want to end things already…we live together too and while I’m on the lease and he isn’t I would definitely be the one to have to move out because we live with his friends…whyyyy did I have to come to this realization literally right before the holidays?? We never fight so it’s really gonna seem like it came out of nowhere

No. 334666

>>334654
Make sure to bring a carrier or box and try to lead him in there with some sort of fruit(recommend banana my bunny would probably kill me for one) vs. just trying to pick him up as rabbit tend to not like being picked up and are very fast. Making friends through food is really the only way to get a stay one in a carrier with out a net, which i'd guess you don't have. I have a bunny and hope you see him again and are able to get him some where safe!

No. 334667

>>334666
not to double post, but if worst case and you can't get him yourself, contact your local shelter and let them know there is a stray rabbit at this hospital

No. 334676

>>334608
Yea that's him. He didn't rage, but didn't appreciate it. It's all bought online so I can't really return it and got no one else to give it to. I don't care what he does with if at this point.

No. 334702

File: 1544005682589.jpeg (45.19 KB, 495x278, 36EECC59-E857-429E-A42C-DFB254…)

I think I’ve ended up with a front row seat to some fandom drama cows. Not cosplayers but very much convention related.

>End mutuals with an older member of a small fandom by chance

>She seems like an ok person, married with grown kids
>Also active in the UK convention scene for decades, has met voice actors and guest stars and such
>Has spent a couple years writing a fic with another BNF and is growing to resent it, calling the character BNF is writing a “Gary Stu” self insert
>By BNF, this woman has a huge social media presence, regularly hosts panels about diversity and race in fandom, (for the record, BNF is black, Fandom Elder is white) has a podcast and a twitch, is starting to gain a foothold in the nerd industry
>Again, by fate or by chance they both follow me on social media so I can’t vent or worry about how BNF will go after Fandom Elder if she finds out she’s been shit talking her writing on discords she’s not a member of….

I see a shitstorm brewing from miles away if this gets out of hand, and idk if it can be avoided.

No. 334713

I'm. sick to death of these trannies and gender bullshit everywhere.
Joined a gaming discord just for gaming and trans bullshit is there too.
My Tumblr is not a safe place like it was years ago, Tumblr was just for art and games for me, a haven't away from Facebook at the time
Just a place for me to chill..
Now I can't go without seeing troon porn men in dresses with their dicks close the camera. It's so disgusting I'm sick men so fucking much.

I hate them with a passion and I hate being straight. They just make me so fucking miserable. I can't even have normal male friends without them always start off with something sexual, and I cut them off.

I wish the anon who wanted to make a private female only discord was a common thing.

I've stopped going on almost all popular social media sites because men are just everywhere along with unwanted porn just always in my face.

I hate men so fucking much.

No. 334715

My mom told me my natural hair pattern was ugly lmao, what the fuck am I suppose to do? Constantly straighten it till I die?

Backstory: Once my mom stopped helping me with my hair. I wasn't even sure of how to take care of it, I used youtube as a guideline and that failed miserably since I didn't even know my hair pattern or porosity. Also most people from my country have looser hair than me, my own mother has pin straight hair. However I finally got my shit together in University though, learned how to do my hair but compared to my sisters my hair is shorter. I cut off a couple inches a year ago and now it's above my shoulder. My sisters have mid-back length 2c curls, my hair is 3c and obviously shorter.

It took me a long time to love my hair, I'm finally getting there and a part of that is embracing my natural hair without hiding behind a piece of cloth.
I don't really think the hijab is a required part of Islam, after wearing it since I was 9. I'm done, I still practice my faith but I'm at a point where I want to learn to love my hair and allow it to flourish. Wearing a hijab is negating this, a lot of people think you take off your hijab for attention. I don't care about that, I want to learn to love myself.

I also live in an area with a huge community of people from my country, they tend to be judgey, I'm scared of that. However they should mind their own business and focus on their kids, my community have problems with extremism and gangs, but they wanna police how I dress? Lmao, I think my parents should still be proud of me without a hijab. I'm completing a difficult degree at a well regarded University, as a first generation student that came from a lower income area the road there wasn't easy.

That's enough to make most parents proud, I spent my entire life wearing hijab and dressing modestly (skirts/dresses only), I couldn't even wear pants yet my parents still berate me over every single thing. My sisters do the exact opposite, take their hijab on/off and wear tight ass clothes, my parents only occasionally shame them.

I pretty much don't see the point in trying to appease them anymore, it has gotten me nothing, I only did it because I was insecure and hid myself behind those things. I plan on taking it off next semester, along with wearing pants. All my cousins do, why should i force myself to follow a made up aspect of my faith? It isn't even in the hadiths or quran. It's all cultural, we didn't even wear hijabs in my country until the 90s, I see pictures from my aunt/moms youth, none of them wore hijabs but they want their daughters too…So backwards.

No. 334718

>>334715
I have 4a hair and it's midback when stretched.
3c hair isn't too far off from my own, (father has thin 3bc hair, mum is thick 4a so I have hair that acts like dad's but looks like my mum)

If you want length, take care of your ends. It's the oldest on your head.
It takes a bit to learn your hair.
I recommend green beauty channel on Ytube. She had 4bc hair but she has a scientific approach to hair, she is gonna bring out a new typing system that will focus on your hair in detail, she has great recipes and science to back it up.

Your hair is beautiful.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

No. 334732

>>334718
Thank you so much for this reply, I'll check them out <3

No. 334738

>>334666
>>334667
Thank you so much. I will do! My phone was dead at the time or else I would have taken pictures of him. Hope he gets through the night okay.

No. 334745

>>334715
Don't worry about what other people think, you are you anon! I come from the same kind of background, I even had an imam perform an exorcism on me because if I had anorexia, it wasn't because my father beat me and made me feel like I never was good enough, it was because I had the devil in me lmao
So please, I know it's hard to think that your own family doesn't follow what you want/need, but do it for your own sake.

No. 334746

GOD my brain is fucked from constant internet/bullshit media abuse I've subjected it to for over 4 years

I need to leave imageboards. I have no hobbies anymore and I'm failing uni

No. 334764

I'm moving overseas today and stress is at an all time high. I hate everything and everyone right now.

No. 334806

File: 1544032121557.jpg (35.78 KB, 633x622, 1541395084983.jpg)

>>334746
I feel you so fucking hard.
How do you escape it? Go full Unibomber?

I hate the way that technology is "advancing". There is little innovation. Instead we get more and more technology tailored for consumerism, pushing captialisim and for the illusion of making a more efficient, happier life.
My attention span has gone to absolute shit, my feelings dulled and my empathy online is barely hanging on. Everything that is presented on the internet is being made to be increasingly shorter, more clickbaity and more attention grabbing (without any substance).
I honestly hate it but I can't stop.
I wish they did some research on the long term effects of internet usage/addiction.

No. 334848

>>334806
what i hate is that people will silence anyone who speaks out about the negative effects of technology. how is acknowledging that sitting in front of a screen for most of the day is bad so controversial? many people will unironically expect you to act like modern technology was the best thing to ever happen to mankind that has no negative effects on people.

this is a very recent issue, and its gotten exponentially worse over the last 10 years. how are more people not worried about this? self driving cars sound fucking terrifying for example. the idea of being this reliant on technology is just so disturbing. its only going to get worse. i wish i could have the opportunity and strength to disconnect from the internet, but its pretty much impossible to work or go to school without having a phone and i think i also have an addiction.

No. 334872

>>334746
I understand. I think Internet addiction has ruined my life. I could be so far ahead right now were it not for this.

No. 334915

fucking hell
my best friend, who had spent almost 2 years recovering from a very deep depression has just been diagnosed with another one. She wasn't feeling too good recently but I thought it was just her Asperger's acting up, but no. fuck I'm so mad, we can't even do much about it except for being here for her just like last time but this is so frustrating to see someone so precious in your life get so fucked by life itself. i'm crying out of rage and my other friends are super frustrated too. I don't want her to get down this fucking hole again

No. 334918

File: 1544045490986.jpeg (97.49 KB, 640x555, 3FA62B7B-26B9-4D84-8524-DA352F…)

Who else here can’t separate creators from their work? It’s the only thing my bf and I disagree on and like, I don’t see it as a big deal but he’s afraid it’ll cause problems? Like, for example, I despise Donald Glover and because of that I just can’t enjoy his content, my bf loves him, and I get that he’s sad he can’t share his enjoyment with me but I don’t think we have to love things all the same? It’s just when it’s a celebrity who’s said things that deeply bug me that I really can’t (I try to not support any clearly problematic people,) but like, Glover for example, makes tons of rape jokes and thinks it’s funny and I’m a SA survivor and it’s just… ugh.

No. 334919

>>334848
There was a thing called scroll-free september this year, it's was about taking a break from social media for the sake of one's mental health.
And I saw people calling it stupid because reading screens are just like reading books and no one moralizes over reading too much, and someone called it disablist because some disabled people mostly socialize online.
It's bad for me and my mental health but the endless new content makes me stay online too much. I wish there was some function like after this and that hour you can't surf (like how a book ends or how TV channels would just show stuff at certain times in the past) There is just no end to the internet.

No. 334921

>>334918
>rape victim
>bf loves rape jokes
You're not the one at fault, babe!

No. 334924

>>334921
He doesn’t like that aspect of him and is very against those, though, like he’s yelled at other people for making jokes like that… That’s why it confuses me so much.

No. 334931

>>334924
You can like most aspects of someone but not like other aspects of them or things they do. I'd say its that way for a vast majority of people in this world, it'd cause a lot of problems (ironically enough) if we just went around disowning everyone who was ever problematic.

Because definitions of problematic a different for each person, and I've seen a lot of people, especially over on places like tumblr and twitter, where there's entire like cliques that take advantage of some people not being able to separate this out and uses them to attack others to decrease the targets clout/popularity or get friend or supporter groups vilified for liking le problematique fae, so they can become the "unproblematic popular person". (But the act of doing that itsel is well… you probably get the point and I'd be veering way OT if I continued on that tangent.)

No. 334932

My bf showers me with affection and clearly loves me, but he's been acting a bit weird towards his best friend's gf and it's bothering me.
Usually he talks to his female friends differently than he does to me, and with her he used to as well but last time we all met up he was looking at me less than her when we were talking, smiling more at the jokes she made than ones anyone else did, and when she and his friend left he said "bye bye" to her in a very cutesy voice, like he does to me but nobody else. Whenever he sees her he says "hello there" in a very cheerful tone, but when he meets me it's more… mild than that. It's been like that since he met her, but he hasn't mentioned anything to me about it and his friend doesn't mind. He also gifted her a comic book that they both liked on his own volition, just because he noticed that she liked the show.

Nobody else saw anything wrong with it (or if they did they didn't say so) but it bothers me, and I can't ask him about it because I'm already insecure as fuck and I don't want to put ideas into his head. Plus, all these things are too little and nitpicky for me to complain about but it does make me wonder if he has a crush on her. They don't talk outside of us meeting as a group, but I don't know.

No. 334941

File: 1544048651494.png (16.95 KB, 496x456, 1318378394610.png)

I'm so done with my new boss. She has only been here 2 weeks and she has demanded so much change and everyone is unhappy. I was called into the office today because my schedule has been the same for 2 or 3 months now. I've been off tuesday and worked mondays, so i came in monday to work per usual and didnt tuesday.

I got in trouble for working monday when i was supposedly off, except not a single boss or team lead told me to go home or whatever. they let me work my shift and i got in trouble for it.

I'm so fucking done. i hate this new boss. she demands you do things with no questions asked and it's taking a toll on my mental health. I've been here 2 years now, so it sucks to leave, but i cant deal with her.

No. 334978

File: 1544053170860.png (80.13 KB, 300x250, F4720B9B-5BAB-46BC-A359-1F4183…)

I recently posted about my mom forcing me to reduce the number of therapy sessions, because she wants my mom. I fucked up and therapist may fire me. All because I fucking keep self-sabotaging myself I’m 100% she’s totally fed up with me. She’s the only one that truly gets me and my situation, I don’t want to lose her because of my stupidity.

No. 335015

>>332715
change your car insurance right now

No. 335042

>>335015
I actually wheezed anon holy shit

No. 335078

I made the worst mistake ever of putting my trust in some people when I was in a vulnerable state emotionally
And now it came back to bite the person I love in the ass

I never wanted anything to happen to her job
I had no idea the true intentions of opening my mouth and talking
Now my job doesn’t even think I deserve to be where I’m at even though I worked my ass off to get there

I’m so sorry for hurting you I never meant for it to happen

No. 335079

>>335015
I'm cackling like a witch in the middle of the night.

No. 335094

i feel like my friends and i are drifting apart, but i see them hanging out with each other a lot. we're studying different subjects so we don't see each other that often. maybe i'm just letting the friendship die. we don't even talk that much often and i guess i don't make effort to talk to them, even though they don't reach out to me to talk either. even when i say 'hey let me know if you want to go to this thing together' they never take me up on it but i see them hanging out with their other friends all the time. maybe i'm just terrible to be around. i find out everything that's happening in their lives later than everyone else because i'm so out of the loop but i don't even think they want to tell me about their day when i ask them about it. am i just bad? some part of my brain sees this happening and says 'i wouldn't want to hang out with me either'. maybe this friendship was never going to last.

No. 335098

I met a really nice friend on twitter, but she randomly deleted her account without a word or reason. She's done it before and remade but with a notice. I'm worried, I hope she's ok :( I wish I exchanged contact with her outside of twitter.

No. 335127

>>335098
Tweet about how you'd welcome contact from her whenever she's ready, so that if she comes back to check your profile she knows you actually care
It's easy to think internet friends don't count

No. 335133

I've been fighting depression since I was 13. I'm 24 now and I'm still struggling.
With therapy and medication I'm better than I was before, much better in fact, but I'm still struggling. I function enough to stay mostly hygienic and alive in general, but I don't do shit all else. I dropped most of my friends and hobbies because I wasn't able to keep up. I struggle getting out of bed and going to class. Lately I've been struggling to dress myself so I sleep in my clothes and just wear them for two days straight. I've not been eating or sleeping well either and all my free time is spent on browsing social media uselessly.
And the thing is, I'm trying, I'm trying to be better. I've tried for so long and nothing seems to help. Maybe I'm destined to be a depressed shut-in forever mooching off my mother. I hate myself so much. All the small things I try to make a habit off, like drinking more water and washing my face seem so natural for every human being, but I can barely even do that without constant reminders. I am a failure through and through.
I don't even remember what it's like to be comfortable or happy.
It seems like my whole life revolves around me taking increasingly more and more meds to fix something that can't be changed anymore. Can you even recover if you've been depressed for 10 years? I don't know.

No. 335178

im shit scared I might have diabetes from looking at the symptoms.

No. 335181

File: 1544107715691.png (571.84 KB, 670x503, eGXfj03.png)

>be me, grill with arrhythmia and autism
>currently on a rough patch with my boyfriend
>two days ago i had a panic attack that quickly transformed into chest pain and irregular beating
>stay the night at the hospital
>the next day (yesterday) i go to my bfs house because i am still pretty shakey, tired and upset so i wanted some comfort and to just be with him
>he tells me his friend was going to come over so they could watch the game, without warning me beforehand and his mum wouldnt let me go back home
>feels pretty stressed to have someone i dont know around, i cant be near them watching the game and being loud even if i tried
>try to just get over with it BUT NOPE nevermind, his friend is going to stay the night too
>just stay in his room alone while feeling extremely upset
honestly i am wondering if he did this on purpose. i cant see how he cant wrap his head around how this is upsetting to me. if i had to go through an upsetting time alone i would rather do it at home, without having to be near people being loud and people i dont know. if he wanted to watch the game so bad he could have cancelled with me, i wouldnt have minded too much, but he didnt and i had to endure that shit. am i overreacting farmers?

No. 335183

Ugh, my bf got me an intership and it's so nice but I feel so anxious now about how much more pressure it is if I screw up.
They called me to make an appointment and I already felt like I made a poor impression by being stressed and probably not articulate enough.
It feels so bad.

No. 335190

I'm really worried I'll end up like hollybrown.
I'm trying to get good enough to be a professional artist, and the hollybrown thread chills me. I "discovered" her through lolcow, I knew her stuffs before but didn't pay attention because, well, it's shit. I recognize lots of my own flaws in her, I'm trying to improve myself really hard, but right now art is all my life, and there's no one to guide me through my studies (I'm not in art school, just at home drawing all day) and I'm always tempted to take the easy route of my comfort zone, and eventhough I'm fighting the temptation back pretty well, I don't even know what is the actual hard, yet rewarding, route that will lead me to skill.
Some days I'm convinced I'll never actually get good enough, I'm really lost with what I should do.

No. 335193

>>335178
i have type 1 diabetes and i can answer any questions you have, anon. if you know anyone who has diabetes irl, you can ask them to measure your blood sugar. if it's over 120-130 when you haven't eaten anything for hours, you might have diabetes. please go to the hospital and get a blood test if your blood sugar is high and you have the symptoms. if you do have diabetes early diagnosis can save you from diabetic coma

No. 335196

File: 1544112214808.png (Spoiler Image, 310.99 KB, 456x477, Rosemary'sbaby.png)

Acacia Brinley's video about her new baby is so disturbing. I know nothing about babies but her daughter seems unhealthy, apparently she's missing a chromosome and has a duplicated chromosome AND is missing part of her brain?? Wtf, and Acacia just seems like she dgaf about it or is in deep denial, she keeps saying "its okay, she's missing a rib but it doesn't mean anything". What the hell.

Spoiler because I find her baby's face disturbing.

No. 335197

>>335196
Kek on the file name. I think it's disturbing because the baby looks smaller than a healthy new born should be.

No. 335199

File: 1544112818831.jpg (187.15 KB, 900x674, god i wish that were me.jpg)

My birthday is on Saturday. Guess I'll eat an entire cookie cake by myself a la pixyteri and buy smash ultimate just to take lewd caps of snake… hmph lol

No. 335200

I'm so obsessed with losing weight, I'm scared I'll be fat again. It's hell. I started out by starving myself and it was honestly amazing (even if it sounds wrong) my friends would question me, I was losing weight at a fast pace, didn't even have to exercise ! But now, I'm eating again, and I have no clue if it's normal… To me it feels like I'm always binging but I never throw up any of it.

All I want is to be capable of starving again because I am so scared I'll be fat again since I keep eating junk food my mom keeps buying. It's my own damn fault for not having any self control but it's so stressful. I don't know what to do but sit there and watch myself slowly get bigger and then it's over. All of my efforts and pain thrown in the trash, back to zero.

When I go to school, I pack healthy snacks and I'm capable of not spending money on food, but when I get home, there's a whole bunch of food and I keep eating it even if I'm not hungry.

I wish I could stop eating SO MUCH at home, I kind of accepted my successful starving days so I don't mind eating, just let it be healthy.

No. 335202

>>335199
Sounds fun anon lol

No. 335205

File: 1544113076420.png (73.5 KB, 700x368, 2900DF55-A0F1-431A-AE8E-21047C…)

>>335200
Have the delicious food you like but portion control and dicipline anon, you can do it

No. 335209

I feel terrible and I don’t know how to feel better. I’ve never seen a counselor or psychiatrist but I’ve increasingly felt exhausted and have thoughts like my life is wrong, I’m going to fuck it up, it’s not worth it. Normally I go to the gym 3-4 times a week to exercise and I stopped because I was feeling sick, but I think going helped keep my head clear.

At college I only have one semester left before I get my degree, but one class I have to take is really intensive and I’m going to have to communicate a lot with my classmates and school staff. The current semester ends next week and I feel overwhelmed with schoolwork. But even with extra time at home I just zone out and barely work on the assignments I have left. I’m worried that if I act like this next semester it’ll fuck everything up.

Things have also been really stressful at home because my grandfather was hospitalized after Thanksgiving and he’s not doing that well. My father flips back and forth between being ok and acting like a huge asshole, while my mom just sits around watching tv in silence. I feel like I’m always walking on thin ice at home and waiting for the worst to happen.

No. 335213

>>335196
Lmao did you see her sperg out on Twitter over people saying her firstborn looks just like her husband and not her? Brinley is an adorable baby and obviously looks like her father, it's disgusting that Acacia is so superficial and refuses to accept that the uglier baby looks way more like her.

No. 335232

>>335209
Hey anon, it sounds like you’re going through a lot of stress. Maybe you’re burnt out from the semester and family life? I think going to see a counselor or therapist would be helpful because they could help you clear your thoughts and figure out ways to deal with the stress in your life. I hope it all works out for you.

No. 335279

File: 1544129535408.jpeg (31.76 KB, 618x320, 620x349.jpeg)

Anyone here /single and lonely during the holidays/?
I have been…every year of my life…but now that I'm getting into my twenties for real it's hitting harder. I wish I had a partner to watch cheesy Christmas movies with and make nice gifts for.

I'm sure with each passing year this feeling will get worse.

No. 335292

I matched with a guy off an app a few weeks ago, went on a really good date with him last week. Yesterday afternoon we hung out at my place for a few hours and we hooked up. He left shortly after and hasn’t texted me , and it’s really bothering me. I haven’t texted him and I’ve been trying to keep myself busy today so I won’t dwell on it.

Honestly, I’m far more just irritated with myself than him. I know I should have zero expectations with an app. It wasn’t like I was really looking for anything super serious either, as I’m pretty fresh out of a long term relationship that went sexless due to my ex’s extreme porn addiction.

I’ve avoided hookups in the past because I get emotionally attached easily. I just really thought that this time I could do it. That I could be normal and not get emotionally attached. I thought I’d be over it by now (in my late twenties) but apparently I’m doomed to be needy no matter how hard I try to detach myself.

No. 335295

I just moved to a new place and have no idea how to make friends. I'm worried about clinging to my boyfriend too much and annoying him. I guess Ill try bumble bff idk

No. 335301

I'm hungry

No. 335305

>>335196
Poor baby that makes me really sad. It’s not ugly.

No. 335306

Over the past few days, I’ve been plagued by bad memories. They range from things like friends abandoning me due to how unbearable I was when I was younger to anons saying that I deserved my abuse from an ex-boyfriend when I vented about it online. It just sucks remembering how much of a trainwreck I used to be. Maybe the bad weather is causing these memories to flood back in my mind.

No. 335309

>>335200
Investing in a food scale and tracking calorie count on an app helps a lot in learning what portion sizes are right for you.

No. 335311

>>335305
Kek. Would you say the same about the hartley hooligans?

No. 335312

>>335301
Same, anon. Let's go make some lunch/dinner

No. 335317

the gender critical thread here has fucked me up
i used to be accepting of trans issues now i can't help but to wrinkle up my nose at them
gone from "let people live their truth" to "they need therapy and are mentally ill"

No. 335318

When I was around 15-16 years old I started to become really self conscious of my accent. (I'm from the North-east of England - i'm not Geordie but thats the closest thing to it that most people know)
I used to travel to london to comic cons, talk online with friends from the south of England and they would all make fun of the way I said things. Even if it was just soft "picking fun" i hated it. I associated that accent, MY accent, with people who are idiots.

So I changed it, I slowly started pronouncing words more "Southern" I guess more stereotypical British.

Now i'm 22, and I'm not that insecure anymore, and I've been faking it for so long I can't go back to my natural accent. I even moved to another city for University so that didn't help. My natural accent comes out more when I visit my parents but I really find it hard to revert back.

I kinda just feel fake.

No. 335321

2018 has been a really hard year for me. three of my family members died in a month, some less awful things happened too. i'm in my last year of my bachelor's degree. i've struggled with depression since my late teens, even though i've been going to therapy regularly, this has affected my grades. i mainly have Cs, some Bs and one D (from my first ever uni level exam lol). i want to pursue a master’s degree in the future, but my average grades have to be at least C.

if i actually had the motivation to study and didn't want to die all the time, i'm sure i could have done way better. it just, really upsets me sometimes. i just had an exam, and i did really poorly on it. i knew the stuff, but couldn't concentrate and felt terribly anxious. i'm pretty sure i'll get another D (if not worse). this is a small subject, and won't matter in the big picture. i still have two exams left and my bachelor thesis before i graduate, if i work hard on those things i'll be fine.

this really affects my self-esteem for some reason. it feels like i just keep doing everything wrong. idk i feel like i let myself down. it's so dumb it's just a small exam, i won't remember this in 20 years. i get my grade at the end of december, but thinking about it makes me really nauseous (i used to have really bad exam anxiety).

anyway, i know that people very close to me dying, mental health stuff etc. affected my performance. and grades don't matter much in the field i am in when it comes to getting jobs (I have lots of work experience). so i don't get why i'm so upset.

this is so dumb

No. 335324

>>335317
same fam but i dont feel bad about it a single bit

No. 335325

i used to do a lot of swimming because my parents made me do it when i was around 13. i was in a competitive squad but i was the slowest in the whole group. i hated it. i think my hatred truly began when i was swimming freestyle, and some fat kid decided to do a fucking cannon ball in the lane right next to me as i went to take a breath. istg i almost drowned that day. i still cant chug water without feeling like im suffocating.

No. 335326

I finished writing down what I'm going to say when breaking up with my partner of 8 years next week. Need a few days to sort everything out and pick the right time, if there even is one.

Everything hurts.

No. 335333

I just don't get how so many people on this site follow ana-chans obsessively. Every time I scroll through the first page of /snow/ it has the ana-chan and the aly thread up. I can't even look at them without feeling bad, the malnourished skeleton bodies are too creepy and uncanny to me. I don't even get what's so interesting and/or funny to look at people starving themselves and I don't feel like someone faking their recovery is amusing at all. The worst part are the anons who start calling the anachan fat because they're starting to gain weight. Are they all just larping fatties or actual anorexics themselves?

No. 335343

>>335333
Because there are many Ex Ana Chan’s on this site who would love to look like they’re dying of aids if they wouldn’t die and because of years of fucking up their body many of them are fat now and they also feel joy seeing a fellow Ana Chan get “fat” but you’d think they’d be happy for them getting better

No. 335345

Not here but another forum:
>vents in designated vent space
>people ask questions/give advice
>reply to the questions/advice
>BUH BUH U JUS WANT PITY & ATTENTION GO AWAY

No shit Sherlock, that's why I went to the designated area for it instead of bottling it up. Fuck, people are so stupid sometimes it makes me want to scream.

No. 335350

>>335345
Same thing happened to me on crystal.cafe the first time I ever visited it. Never went back, was a huge bummer.

No. 335354

>>335333
same. i really wish those threads would be closed, especially the aly ones, because i really don't get it. so she's gaining weight and has bad fashion taste? like, what's so milky about her? idgi and i've asked multiple times and can never get an answer. she's not milky at all. they demonize her for having been NEET while in recovery or something too like… ???

No. 335358

Holy shit anons, I am so fucking checked out of this semester and I hate it.

I have three essays (very short, only three pages each) that were due last week that I still haven't done. Four more finals still left next week. And I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't force myself to sit down and do them. It's like I'd seriously rather do anything else, even just sit and watch paint dry, than to force myself to do work.

It sucks because I've done very well and gotten extremely good grades on everything else this semester. I think I'm just completely exhausted from pushing myself. I know I need to get the work done. I want to get my work done. But there's just this enormous wall standing between me and executive function and I can't get past it.

No. 335372

>>335350
That place is a shitshow. Full of men larping so it's understood they'd be mad at you for some dumb shit.

No. 335373

This’ll sound dumb but eh. My bf bought me this beautiful long wool coat as an early xmas gift and even though I love it, my stupid ass keeps making excuses to return it (too expensive, too mature looking for me, it’s light colored so I’ll just get it dirty etc) because I truly feel it’s too good for me to wear. And I know my bf wanted me to have it from the bottom of his heart too, which makes me feel even more like an ungrateful piece of shit. Seriously, fuck my anxiety and inability to accept gifts like a normal person.

No. 335379

>>335373
I've been there and honestly the answer is to swallow your own anxieties regarding taking the gift and just appreciate. As you're aware he really wanted you to have the coat, so seeing you reject something he worked to pick and pay for would be extremely disheartening on his end and in turn just feed into your pity party loop since 'oh no I can't accept this great gift due to ultimately silly reasons and now he's sad because I didn't' like, nope. End the cycle. Just take the gift and make him happy, and yourself too girl! It doesn't matter how you view yourself, it's perfectly fine to have nice things.
If the guilt is really weighing on you, funnel that energy into getting him something equivalent in personal value as a present back.

No. 335382

>>335379
Thank you for understanding, anon. This helps a lot.

No. 335406

File: 1544149164321.gif (482.72 KB, 540x697, 1526197001220.gif)

>>335358
I know how that feels. In my case I feel like my depression is getting the best out of me and stopping me from doing what I need to do. Idk if it's actual depression but I made a text and it came out I worry TOO much about things and get anxious all the time.

I got bad results in teo of my texts and next week I'll have to take a high note or I'm fucked. I'm a mess and I've already started to feel worthless like I always do. And it's so funny because I'm always smiling and joking around with my friends when from inside I'm just a big anxious mess that feels hollow all the time.

I can't even count on my mom since she thinks I'm just being a lazy sack of shit, and she's going to kill me if I get bad results again. Even worse, I can't stand disappointing her too. Think I've been in need for an therapist for a long long time but my mother thinks it's all bs.

I'm gonna buy some tranquilizers tomorrow - do you anons have any recommendation to help me calm down whenever I get anxious af?

No. 335477

ITSME BICH!!! still biting my fucking thumbs until they bleed because im a dumb bitch.

No. 335489

>>335406
like, over the counter stuff? I like valerian root, it's definitely not as strong as something like klonopin, but it takes the edge off for me. if your anxiety is crippling/out of control you should see a dr.

No. 335504

File: 1544173802837.jpg (55.99 KB, 1024x575, 1544127089057.jpg)

I binged on a box of fiber one brownies. Now I am gonna stay fat AND get diarrhea.

No. 335506

Some days I have really, really good art days where I shock myself…but most days I draw fucking abysmally and want to give up altogether. This has been going on for years and it's so annoying, why can't I just be consistent?

No. 335535

File: 1544185011023.jpg (41.2 KB, 400x339, tumblr_lk4n3mq8Wk1qzg45so1_400…)

I managed to catch a gastric flu and it's so disgusting and I'm exhausted I hate this so much ugh

No. 335541

My husband is leaving to go to Florida by himself this afternoon. I know spouses having separate vacations is okay and normal, but I genuinely look forward to seeing him every day, talking to him, being near him. I'm really going to miss being able to cuddle at night on the couch before we go to bed.

I'm okay being alone. If I want to, I have a million things I can do and distract myself. But it's not going to be fun without him.

No. 335547

I made the mistake of going out for drinks with co-workers (for the first time). Half of them I completely ignored for the past month because of severe anxiety and I only just started talking at drinks. I legitimately want to kill myself cos I made a fool of myself, like I knew I would. They probably think I'm doubly retarded, now. Great.

No. 335550

>>335541
And worse yet, my mom invited me over on Saturday to have lunch with my parents, and I had expected to have my husband with me. I had to explain he wouldn't be coming, and now I just know she's going to ask pointed questions before getting to the "this isn't how husbands and wives treat each other, he doesn't value you, you're not a priority to him".

And I know she's going to say it with the best intentions for me, but all it's going to do is hurt. I know my husband loves me. I know he values me, and I know I'm his no. 1 priority in life. And to be reminded of all the terrible insecurities I have is just going to be crippling.

She's the person I got all my crippling insecurities from. And I'm not laying blame on her or anything, it's just the truth. When my husband and I were just kids and we were dating, she was really against him because he wanted to go on a vacation with friends without me. We were just 19/21, and she said "it's not something you do to a person who's supposed to be a priority in your life". Surprise, surprise, when I laid down an ultimatum, he broke up with me. A few years later, when we started dating again, I was texting and calling him every day, almost every hour. I was trying to give him more space, but in my family's life "space" is unhealthy, and you shouldn't need space from someone you truly love. Until he got sick of me blowing up his phone and laid down some painful truths.

I, stupidly, told all this to my mom, and asked her what I should do. She told me "Well, it sounds like he just broke up with you." So for two weeks, I didn't hear from him, and I had assumed he really had. This was shitty of him, don't get me wrong, but I was understandably distraught until he texted me like nothing was wrong, and then I was just confused and distraught. When he called me and after we got past the whole "well do you want to break up?" conversation, he told me not to trust my mom anymore.

Half a year later, it winds up I'm pregnant. My mom and dad are furious. I'm 25 at this time, so it's not like I was an irresponsible teenager. My committed partner and I are having sex, these things are bound to happen. So, everything really sucks. I miscarry. The stress from everything unravels my life, I lose the two part time jobs I'm working along with working at my mom and dad's business full time (which I'm not getting paid for).

And, I just can't take it anymore. Every time I'm with my then-boyfriend-now-husband, she calls me asking me if I'm coming home to help. I can't keep doing this. I need a job that pays me and isn't so physically grueling that I end up having a miscarriage. I need a place to stay that doesn't have holes so that the wind from a -20 degree night doesn't come through while I sleep, or have pollutants that cause me to get bacterial infections every month. I need to recover from working 14 hour days, doing heavy manual labor, getting frostbite, exhaustion, and then being criticized for not being there for a family and job that's killing me.

So I move in with my boyfriend. And you'd think that would be it, but it isn't.

No. 335563

>>335550
My family life got so much worse. I move in with my boyfriend, who becomes my fiance, who becomes my husband. My family gets used to the idea that my husband isn't going anywhere, but they make their disapproval of him pretty clear. My sister doesn't comprehend that I'm a separate entity from her, so it's as if her arm detached and ran away to join the circus. She remains a source of contention between my husband and I. I love her, and to me, she's just always been this way- she's a kind of intense person, but she's well-meaning. She just wants to help, but she ends up steamrolling over my boundaries. When we made a plan together to clean my house (I'm the worst at household chores), we ended up throwing a lot of stuff away, and it really helped me. But she would also clean when I was working, so I never knew until recently how much had gone until my husband was asking where the seat cushions in the dining room were, and I had to explain she threw them out.

I can't ask for advice or help from my family. They always take the worst route. I feel so alone, but at the same time, I know I can't ask for help without incurring pain, so being alone is almost a boon.

No. 335565

How the fuck is David dobrik only 22 and his best mate is a 40 year old jaaon Nash. Watching the vloga with the 16 year olds and Jojo and getting major creep vibes

No. 335571

>>335541
I know this is a vent thread, and not really a place to ask for advice, but could I ask you guys for help? Please?

No. 335572

I paid for a cat that my bf wanted recently because he was feeling lonely and really wanted an animal that he could keep in a small space. Originally he wanted a dog but eventually we all convinced him that wasn't going to work with the space and his schedule.
He rents out a house with other people, but the cat isn't allowed outside the room. Meaning the food and litterbox is in the walk-in closet. It reeks, but usually I can ignore it if I point a fan to waft away the stench, and ultimately, I don't care because it's not like I live there. I just stay over a couple nights a week.

What irks me though is the shed hair. It's a long hair cat with light hair and bf doesn't own a vacuum yet. I think the hair and tracked cat litter is disgusting. So I've been bringing over an army of lint rollers to clean my clothes so I don't look like a filthy cat lady whenever I want to go outside. And to also clean up the bed before I go to sleep because he lets the cat on the bed and I don't like inhaling and getting cat hair in my mouth when I sleep. I've also found flecks of litter on the bed and that really grosses me out.

For some reason this greatly offends my boyfriend.
Like the other night before bed I was lint rolling the comforter and he got this irate look on his face.
The next day, I was getting ready to leave and had just finished lint rolling my clothes and jacket, when I went to grab my overnight bag I didn't realize the cat had gotten on my bag. The bag smeared new fur all over my fresh coat and I got annoyed. I might have had an irksome tone when I asked bf to pass me the lint roller again because I was annoyed to have to redo the work. In response he said "If you were gonna hate the cat so bad I wouldn't have gotten it! So stop bitching."
I tried to explain how it had nothing to do with ""hating"" the cat, but he pitched a tantrum and didn't listen to my explanation.

I think he's being super unreasonable. A lot of people don't like having cat hair on their clothes and it's not like I'm taking out my frustrations on the cat. I'm just trying my best to clean up around it. Am I wrong about this or something, or is he just embarrassed because he knows it looks bad but doesn't wanna put in the effort to clean? I didn't expect this to become a big fucking deal.

No. 335573

Soo, this is my first time venting like this. I feel very lonely in this because my friends are going through tough times as well and I would just burden them more with my issues.

I broke up with my long term bf recently. Well, more like he wanted to end things. I have known for a while that something was up, because he didn't really want sex as much (despite wanting it many times a day before), didn't really look for intimacy and about two months ago, he started to spend less and less time with me, excusing it with being tired and overworked and I know he works a lot, like ALOT… but it was never an issue before.

So I suspected something was up, but whenever I wanted to talk, he would postpone it to next time…and then next time again…and again until I got so frustrated and told him how it made me feel and that's when he asked to end the relationship. This was my first serious relationship and I was completely shell-shocked. I discarded any pride I had and basically begged for a chance to fix this, but he wouldn't budge. So here I am…dumped and completely broken. I have been crying non-stop every day. I can't go anywhere without things reminding me of us…of him. I see a jacket that he wore…and I start crying. I walk past someone who wears cologne he wore…I burst out crying. I hate it. And seeing him just move on, planning trips, being active and happy hurts me so much more. Feels like I am the one destroyed and broken and he has simply moved on. I understand that people who usually initiate break ups move on a little faster, cause they have had time to think about it and prepare for it and it is something they wanted and I read that men generally move on easier and break up sort of gives them a sense of freedom, which I see in his case. I see that he is active again, works out more, plans trips. I on the other hand have been miserable. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't enjoy social gatherings, my work is suffering. I just can't seem to get him out of my head at all. I have never loved a man like I have loved him. Before meeting him, I had been single for years, cause I am really specific about trusting people and who I wan't a serious relationship with and with him it felt so natural…so safe and I am still so deeply and madly in love with him and I feel like such a damn idiot for not realizing that it's over…hoping and clinging onto fantasies that we will get back together.

Today I finally decide that I can't be like this forever and I unfollowed him everywhere on social media and deleted his number. I broke down crying doing this all and I don't know how long it will take time to heal and my heart hurts so much and my idiot self is still hoping for something..but I know I can't go on like this forever. I just don't know what to do and how t get over it and how to forget these deep feelings…I just wish sometimes that I never got into a relationship. It just hurts so damn much and I can't get his face out of my stupid head and I know it sounds so mean that I am hurt to see him do so well…I know it's not his fault…I am sure it was a very difficult decision for him and I know he still cares for me but he is just not in love with me anymore.

I feel like dying and I hate being this way, because I am usually strong, I don't cry and I am not emotional.

I am sorry for this erratic post, but I needed to vent somewhere.

If anyone here has any tips or advice…cause this is my first break up where I feel so lost and broken.

No. 335578

>>335572
I don't think you're being unreasonable, but I do see a point in both of your positions. Judging from how you describe the cat's living situation, I don't honestly think it's the best for the cat. If it's long haired, it is going to shed, but a lot can go towards controlling the shed if it's regularly groomed. Most cats enjoy a little once-over with a comb once a week, but for a long-haired cat, it might need a grooming multiple times a week. This helps prevent matting in the cats fur as well. Tell your boyfriend to stop being a shitty pet-owner, clean out the litter box more often, and brush it regularly.

Also, for you, don't leave your possessions in a place where the cat can lay on/shed on. Put them in a drawer or closet the cat can't get into. Wear clothes that you don't really give a fuck if you get cat hair all over and pack a spare for when you want to go anywhere.

>>335573
I had this problem as well when I was younger. I wanted more emotional intimacy than my boyfriend was willing to give at the time. If you don't think you're going to get over this, ask to talk to him again. Ask if he's willing to resume your relationship if you two discuss boundaries. Some people need more space and time alone, and that's not wrong. It's okay to want to be by yourself sometimes. It's also not wrong for you to want more, but it is wrong for you to demand for more when the other party isn't comfortable/ready.

It's all down to a few things: Are you willing to go back to the relationship knowing you might get the same or even less, and How badly do you want it so you are willing to make compromises?

No. 335580

>>335573
Anon, did your bf do any of these things in your relationship before you broke up? Or did he stay at home with you?

No. 335584

>>335580

We used to spend a lot of time together. Play video games and he would actually seek out to do more dates and spend more time together and do things together, but something changed few months ago and he stopped wanting to spend time like we normally did and he would just say "I am tired". So I stopped bothering him, gave him space. If we ever had issues we were both mature enough to sit down and talk it out calmly.

but past few months he would just ghost me by saying he is tired and unmotivated to do things. I had started researching to help him get motivated to get back to his hobbies and give him space for that.

No. 335586

>>335578
>but a lot can go towards controlling the shed if it's regularly groomed
We picked up two free brushes at the shelter, one long-toothed comb and one with more bristles. I brushed him twice every day when I was there and even gave him a light warm rinse after I picked him up from the shelter.
He just sheds hair no matter what.

Aside from that, the reason why the cat shits so much is because bf simply dumps a load of dry cat food onto a plate. So the cat binges throughout the day instead of being given a portion in the morning and evening.
More food=more shit. Bf hasn't caught on yet.
I haven't pointed this out yet because he had a meltdown at the pet store when I was buying the food for the cat. All I said was that we should get a couple cans of wet pet food because it's not good for cats to eat dry only all the time, but bf told me to stop "bossing" him around and got aggressive with me.

>don't leave your possessions in a place where the cat can lay on/shed on

Lol, hindsight is certainly 20/20. But I'm still going to bring nice clothes for when I go out with my bf and I won't accept being bitched out because I dare bring a lint roller.

No. 335587

>>335572
What a miserable existence for a cat. Why did he want a pet when it has to be locked in his room forever? He should've just gotten a fucking hamster or fish. Completely irresponsible.

No. 335588

>>335584
Spending time together is obvious and normal, but did he ever express a wish to do go out and do things without you?

If he did, how did you react? I know you're in a painful space right now, but it would be really helpful to analyze yourself objectively.

No. 335590

>>335586
>More food=more shit
also an obese cat. They're not reknowned for their ability for self control. The other bit of advise was for the future. Tell your bf to stop being such a child, it's acceptable not to want pet hair all over yourself, but don't do it in a super-confrontational manner.

>>335541
I'm sorry to be so demanding, but if anyone could be so kind as to spare a word?

No. 335591

File: 1544193430304.jpg (23.98 KB, 720x676, wDFZPpf.jpg)

Gonna sound like a real munchie here for a second.

I have 3 days until my appointment with a neurologist. They're going to run some tests and maybe do an MRI too.
The problem is, I can't fucking sleep. Recently to my already pressing mental health and insomnia issues bruxism and restless leg syndrome added and my usual routine of laying for two hours in my bed trying to fall asleep added pain from my clenched jaw and complete inability to lay still for even a minute.
My brain is in fucking hell. Lately I've also been waking up with migraines too for the first time in years. My vision got worse too all of a sudden, it's blurry a lot of the times.
Apparently I have a cyst in my cerebellum, I've had for a while, but we don't know if it grew or if it requires treatment.
Lately my health has been on a decline, I can't even eat a full bowl of soup.
I'm a mess. And I can't even take a sleeping pill because they don't sell them over the counter in my country and melatonin and all the herbal remedies don't do shit for me anymore.
I just need to survive for three more days until my appointment and hopefully sort out at least some of those problems.
Wish me luck.

No. 335594

>>335587
The cat seems content tbh. The cat doesn't mew or beg to go outside from what I've seen and I'm pretty critical about that sort of thing.
It's certainly better than his existence at the rescue since the summer when he was dropped off and living in a small cage.

>>335590
That's another reason why I brought up the dry pet food, I've read that feeding kibble-only can increase diabetes and obesity risks for cats.

No. 335597

>>335594
are you going to pay for the cat's insulin when it inevitably gets diabetes too?

No. 335600

>>335597
Cheeky, but the cat isn't my responsibility.

No. 335603

>>335588

Ofcourse. Whenever he would want to do something I gladly agreed. He really loves photography and filming so I would gladly go and go along when he asked, cause he needed help with some things. Or when he would wan'to go play basketball for fun and ask me to come (although I know fuck all about basketball), I would go and embarrass myself.

I've been analyzing myself for few weeks, cause my first reaction is that maybe i did something wrong

No. 335607

>>335586
> All I said was that we should get a couple cans of wet pet food because it's not good for cats to eat dry only all the time, but bf told me to stop "bossing" him around and got aggressive with me.

That's a red flag right there anon. I have a cat and it's just common sense not to feed your cat only dry food. Does he want the cat to die young or what? If he can't take a considerate rational advice, or worse yet, he blames you for bossing him, then you should be wary of any red flags in the future.

I have a cat and I've just run out of wet food for her, so I was placing an online order when I saw your post. It's been a day and I can already see my cat wanting wet food even though she has dry food available.

Seriously, that is extremely unhealthy and irresponsible by his part. Also, cheap too.

I'm afraid to ask if he even bothers to check the cat for worms, ticks, and so on.

p.s. if you break up with him, please take the cat with you

No. 335611

>>335600
then why are you paying for literally everything else?

either way you need to have a serious talk with your bf about this cat.

No. 335616

>>335607
I think he's a bit ignorant about raising animals, and feels like people are talking down to him whenever they give him helpful advice.
When he said he wanted an old dog, his parents and I told him it wasn't the best because dogs need a lot of outside exercise and attention. Not to mention if the dog was older it would need medication and end of life care. At first he got mad because he took it personally, like people were shitting on his emotions, and not that we were just looking out for what's best.
Fortunately, it seems he did heed us about getting a dog.

His parents raised purebred dogs, so he thinks because he saw them be fed dry kibble it means that it's all they were fed to be as healthy as they were. I feel like telling him that because he wasn't personally involved in their care, that more work was done behind the scenes when he wasn't around ie. them being fed good wet food.

The shelter we got the cat from did a lot of the hard work. He's chipped, checked for worms, and has been given all his vaccinations. The only thing we really need is flea medication. It's foolproof if only he would stop being so sensitive whenever anyone brings up an issue about the cat.

>>335611
It doesn't matter what I've paid for. The pet is registered as his. I've paid for the things I've paid for to make sure the pet has the essentials until his next paycheck.
You're preaching to the choir anon, I assure you.

No. 335617

>>335591
Good luck, anon! You'll be okay. I've heard of this kind of cyst before, and I don't think it's too much to worry about.

No. 335621

>>335616
A pet is not a weapon. It's more like a child. It doesn't matter who it's registered to, if it's being maltreated, then you have to do what's best for it. You won't get in trouble for removing an animal from a harmful situation.

No. 335622

>>335621
This.

I understand if that anon doesn't want to take care of the cat because ultimately it wasn't her idea or wish, but at least find a proper home for it.

No. 335623

>>335621
>removing the animal from a harmful situation

NTA but unless the cat was being severely abused or neglected, most people would see it as her stealing away a cat. I think it would take more evidence than the cat getting fat to make a justifiable case.

No. 335626

>>335578

We actually had boundaries set in our relationship. Like we both have to have hobbies and not interfere with those hobbies and spend time with friends and family and we we're never really clingy. It was really important for both of us, that we don't make our world so small that we only ever spend time with each other.


I didn't want more than we already had, I just wanted him to stop ghosting me and to talk it out. When he started avoiding spending time together, he told me he was tired and I stopped asking for dates. I asked to talk about how we can resolve this and what I could do to help and tried encouraging him to take time off work and go see his family (he is very close with his parents). All I wanted was to talk and I was willing to wait to talk and only few months after that all started, we finally talked cause I got a bit frustrated with all the ghosting and I asked for 30 minutes of his time to sit down and finally talk and then the break up happened.

I don't want to force him to be with me, because I can see that he has already moved on and I don't want to ruin his happiness. Even though I want to be selfish and have him with me, I know it's wrong. That's why I finally let it go today and stopped following him on social media and let him do whatever makes him happy.

I was just wondering on how to deal with the pain. When will it stop hurting? I know this is a vent thread and not advice thread.

I am not asking for advice on how to get him back, cause i dont want to ruin the happiness he currently has. It just hurts to know I can never hold his hand and that everything just reminds me of him

No. 335628

>>335623
You're probably right, but those people are also assholes.

No. 335632

>>335626
Actually, DBT practices would really help for this. Try mindfulness, as a start. It's inevitable you'll feel grief from this situation, but since there's no way to make it better, try to focus on whatever is at hand.

It will be hard, I know, trust me. But it is possible, and you can do it. First, find something to do that forces you to think about nothing else, like strenuous exercising or listening to a podcast, or cooking something new. If you find your mind wandering, then bring your attention back to what you're doing.

No. 335633

>>335623
If someone was feeding a child only chicken nuggets it would fall under abuse.

My uncle is a chef and has a dog. He really loves the dog but also stuffs it with gourmet food so the dog naturally got really fat. A lot of people would call him out on it, and while no one called animal services on him, I don't think people would have complained either. I know this is anecdotal but people do have an understanding to such things.

Regardless of the motive (neglect or not), animals should be dealt with care and if more people start treating pets as beings that deserve rights and a nice home, then we're making small steps towards a better world.

I'm currently in a situation where I consider calling animal services for a dog that's constantly caged outside on a chain and is barely taken out on walks.

No. 335639

>>335632

I am sorry for stupid question, but what is DBT?
Mind wondering is my current biggest issue. I keep think "What if…how could i colossally fck up like this." You know, then the feeling of dread, that maybe our relationship was such a burden and I should have noticed sooner and done something about it.

No. 335643

>>335616
lol this sounds like a case of a parent getting their kid "their own pet" but the parent pays for and takes care of it. and the analogy fits because your bf sounds like an enormous manchild if he throws a hissy fit anytime someone gives him advice on how to not mistreat his cat.

good luck with all that. I hope you can intervene before something bad happens to it.

No. 335657

>>335639
google is your friend

No. 335668

>>335643
>the analogy fits
Not really. Like I said, I don't live there. I won't be cleaning up the litterbox or making sure the cat is fed. Just offering advice from one adult to another, and hoping even if it's met with initial resistance, he will listen.

No. 335687

>>335292
It's only a day so it's not a big deal, give him some time.

Did you both talk about what you were looking for?

No. 335818

I miss being innocent. I feel like such a waste of space.
I want to be a child again, full of hope and promise of becoming someone great. Whenever I was sad in my childhood, my mom made me a cup of hot cocoa to make me feel better. I felt so safe and beloved in those moments, like everything would be alright no matter what. I wish I could go back to one of those moments. I feel so small and broken, but I have to hide my pain and go to work even tho I feel like killing myself.

No. 335843

File: 1544224405324.png (1.05 MB, 1061x800, Weenie_Hut.png)

>>335818
You sound like a teenager that literally just got out of childhood, or an adult that doesn't realize you can make your own damn cup of cocoa and throw an even bigger pity party than your mom ever could. Either way, you'd be better off posting in the confetti club or pic related.

>I have to hide my pain

You and everyone else. It's called being polite. Get a therapist.

No. 335846

>>335843
stop being so jaded.

No. 335848

>>335818
I completely understand craving comfort. I'm hugging you telepathically, anon. Take care

No. 335849

>>335843
That's a bit harsh, anon. I think most people feel nostalgic for childhood because for many it was objectively better times; someone to take care of you and watch over your responsibilities. And yes, also tell you everything's okay and to make you a cup of hot chocolate.

I'm fortunate to have a few adult friends I can confide in and tell my secrets to. Being unable to share one's pain with people who can be trusted is lonely, and for some therapy isn't accessible. That's if one finds a good therapist.

No. 335867

maybe this is more suited for the "annoying friends" thread but anyway.

A friend of mine suffers from BDD (official DX) but I feel like it sometimes leaks onto me because of her?
I did have some body image issues in the past but lately (for a couple years) I've been feeling so much better. I practicly don't really care about my appearance anymore. I still take care of myself but I dont spend much time worrying in front of a mirror.

But this friend keeps commenting on my appearance and even when she tries to give a compliment it's so …clumsy. Like, she's obsessed with her skin and while I'm into skincare I dont cry for 5h in front of a mirror bc of a pimple like her. Yet she thinks its a completely normal compliment to say to someone "Your skin looks fine today! Like appart from those two pimples, it looks nice!" out of the blue, even if we weren't talking about looks at all.

Like… she keeps mention HER looks and MY looks all the time and it gets boring.

Also her constant LOUD obsessing over her looks makes me feel like I should be obsessing over mine. She looks fine as well! And the stuff where she doesnt look fine, she could easily arrange but she doesnt wanna do it the right way!

No. 335871

>>335818
Yep you need some self care anon. You can pamper yourself. Make cocoa, go to the cinema, (or watch happy faves at home), arrange a cute date in a cafe with friends/relatives, buy a cute new dress. It's easy. Relying on others for validation is not a good path.
>>335843
Nnot a helpful reply

No. 335873

>>335818
And you still have hope and promise of being great, or happy, or successful. You're what, 21 years old? Your whole life is ahead of you Anon. There is no time limit to success.

No. 335875

>>335572
>cat trapped in one room

WUT. Why did he think this was a good idea?!

No. 335878

>>335571
Your family sound VERY overbearing. The husband isn't the problem here. Don't focus on the holiday and just lay out a mission plan on how to control the overbearing family situation. Like don't take your mom too seriously. Don't let your sister throw your stuff out.

No. 335884

I'm getting really sick of the fake viral trend. The fake JB, the fake Travis cheating on Kylie, the fake "nobody showed up at the final that was a Christmas party instead"…

No. 335888

>>335875
>trapped
I think that's a bit dramatic. Some cats are acclimated to small spaces. Plus it really depends on the size of the room, since anon mentioned a walk in closet I presume the bedroom isn't matchbox size.

No. 335974

Sometimes I just want to scream about my ex but we have so many mutual friends that I don't want them to feel alienated. I have an amazing gf now, she loves me and respects me as a person and makes me feel beautiful and complete so I shouldn't be so bitter about this bitch of an ex but I am.
She fell in love with her image of me, not the real me and then tried to shape me to this image over the course of the relationship. Liking things she didn't like? Not allowed. Being sad ever? Not allowed. She put the relationship on break when I was depressed because my Mom was in hospital on the brink of death but wouldn't accept me attempting to break up with her due to that and for some stupid reason, I stayed on. She then expected me to wait on her hand and foot when her uncle was in hospital, despite the fact she never helped me through my own greif and his situation wasn't even life threatening. This selfish woman-child was almost 30 and didn't know how to do a single chore, nor could she hold down a job. Now I'm used to being a mix of the breadwinner and homemaker being reletively successful and liking doing chores but bitch if you're 29 and crying to me because work told you to mop the floors and you've never been taught how to mop so you did it badly and got a snarky remark for that? Well there were plenty of times when I was doing housework and you could have asked me about that but no you would rather have gone on your fandom circle jerk group chats and talked in those than learn. Before her I didn't think lesbian relationships could be toxic as all of my exes had been pretty decent but we just didn't mesh well. I wish I had never dated her. I want this bitterness in me that she gave me to leave but I resent how she treated me and what she expected of me so much. I hope she is truly unhappy in where she is in life.

No. 335982

anyone from turkey? i'm fucking tired of seeing misogynistic bullshit on ekşi sözlük, they can't stop bitching about women for a second

No. 335996

>>335982

ekşi became a shithole lately, specially after ssg left. Seriously just don't visit it.

No. 336030

>starts job as stna for tuition reimbursement and insight into being a nurse

>job says we help pay for any medical profession


> decides I dont want to be a nurse. Goes for surg tech degree instead


>applies for tuition reimbursement


> job tells me they only pay for jobs that benefit them and they arent going to pay for me to essentially leave lip


Been there for 2 years and it just feels like a giant slap in the face :)

No. 336063

File: 1544274194507.jpg (29.02 KB, 481x524, Chj9xqfW0AASQ5m.jpg)

I'm seriously thinking about maybe going to college but I'm worried as fuck that it'll be pointless because I failed almost every high school year (thanks to math) and I graduated 5 years ago and don't remember shit. Even before I graduated hs the whole teaching program was changed and some classes were removed, new ones were added etc so a good part of the field has changed and idk how smart it would be to dive in with less than 5% knowledge of the subject.

Not to mention my parents can't afford to send me to a dorm or a shared apartment, it's just too expensive. I wish people would hire students for other jobs than waitressing, every company doesn't seem to be able to "afford" to have a student working.

I'm so damn frustrated I can't even articulate what I want to say fuuuuck

No. 336075

I'm trying to save as much money as I can for a project I have for 2019, and while I live with my family, I only have a barely paid internship and I'm so frustrated I'm not earning as much as I would have if it weren't an internship. I also managed to avoid treating myself too much these last few months by avoiding fastfood, shopping sessions and anime cons I was interested in at the beginning of the year, and it has been a while since I bought books or video games as well like I want to. And I finally canceled my subscription to Netflix and Crunchyroll since I'm barely watching anything these days. But I spent to much money during Black Friday and I kind of regret it. Those aren't even things I don't need, it's just that I'm feeling guilty about it.

I hope I'll be able to graduate in 2019 and get enough money for my project.

No. 336210

>>336063
I went to college for a couple semesters after highschool and wound up withdrawing because I was having a really hard time. I wound up working for five years until a really nice customer encouraged me to try again.

I went to a different college and took the lowest level math class available, where the professor retaught us long division, multiplication and fractions. This really helped me out because I never got a grip on what I was taught in middle/highschool and that basically fucked me over for years. I was also very lucky because a friend of my older siblinh was also in this class, and we stuck together in math classes for two semesters to help each other out. If you can go to a community college and take a basic math class I think it will help you a lot.

No. 336233

File: 1544294781070.png (12.1 KB, 92x139, Jun_4.png)

my only irl friend goes to college states away and i never get to see her, but i've been questioning our friendship for years now. she's a kind person but she's getting really annoying and it's to the point where i ignore her sometimes when she messages me. i don't know if i want to see her again honestly.

she's kind of a fakeboi but she's weird about it. she is obsessed with male attention and male validation. she bases her quality of life on how many guys want to fuck her, i think. she was bullied a lot as a kid and was treated awfully for not being the "stereotypical girl". so for years she has tried to be all like, "i'm soooo masc" when she's not at all. she just doesn't shave. and who tf cares? i don't think that not shaving makes you less of a girl. but my ideology very much lines up with gender critical radfem beliefs. she is a libfem. it's just getting to me, all the drinking and hooking up she does. she just has weird flings with guys that refer to her with they/them pronouns and it's fucking weird. the guy she's with now is luckily fucking off to another state soon. she's kind of a lovebomber and obsesses over a guy that she doesn't even know, pines after him for male validation, then it just disappears. i feel guilty for not wanting to talk to her but she just depresses me now. all she does is talk about herself. i miss who she was when we were in high school. now she's a fakeboi thot who has a drinking problem. why are twentysomethings all like this. this is why i have no friends.

No. 336240

>>336233
nice jun pic

No. 336248

>>336240
thank u anon. p2 duology are the best persona titles

No. 336256

>>336248
agreed, especially EP. it's sad how little attention they get :(

No. 336298

As women in this society we never win.

No. 336348

Why has lolcow suddenly turned into pull? I blame kpop

No. 336352

>>336348
kfags fucking ruin everything, point blank. i hate how i can't go on here now without people sperging about all their fake ass idols. they're not even real people, they're just paid to have a superficial appearance and false personality. they are a commodity, made to make money. nothing more.

No. 336354

I'm struggling with no longer talking with my ex
We were together for so long and they were someone I talked to every single day all the time
Now suddenly we don't speak anymore and it's been so difficult because I realize I don't have friends I talk to
Or I don't really talk to people
I'm craving I guess the communication we had because I'm so lonely

No. 336360

>>336352
I wish the mods would banish the kpop critical thread to /snow/. The anons sperging about Ariana aren't any better.

No. 336370

>>336360
*and the youtube artists thread

No. 336372

>>336360
omg yes I think the Ariana spergs and Taylor R. spergs bring in the worst PULL energy here

No. 336383

File: 1544307329345.png (224.87 KB, 423x491, 1521738673415.png)

I study graphic design and I'm on the last year. Started checking job offers because I need to do practice for university and noticed how poor all art jobs are paid in my country.
Given how much I already pay for the room in my flat and basic stuff, I would barely make it monthly (also there are times when I have multiple dentist visits etc. where you have to pay a lot of money).
My family is pretty much split apart around the whole Poland (bro lives in the same city as I do, sis lives with bf in southern Poland and my parents are divorces with my dad having his current family), so there's no way to live at their place and earn money not worrying about a rent.
I was wondering if I too shouldn't move to UK, since there are much more jobs in that are paid much more than there + it would be easier to be a lesbian in there.
I still got a year to think about it..

No. 336386

File: 1544307973757.png (276.89 KB, 576x576, tumblr_orm19ei1ue1sgdknmo1_128…)

I'm so fuckin done not knowing what I want to do in life. It's been that way since I'm little– I have a lot of different interests and I'm a very curious person but career/studies wise, it's always been hell. The only thing I know for sure is that I want to live a comfortable life. I've tried several uni courses; never finished them. Right now I'm working full time at a salad bar and I'm starting to get real bored.. I want to study again. I'm torn between going back to law school or trying something new like marketing or computer engineering. The fact that I'm very prone to anxiety, depression and suffer from bulimia don't help in having a healthy mindset. What bothers me tremendously too is that I love video-games. I really do. The happiest times of my life were when I was playing 24h/24, talking with people who shared my passion for it and indulging in my other hobbies (such as watching movies, anime, reading books and scans, browsing my favorite sites, cosplaying, learning foreign languages, looking to expand my personal knowledge..) Right now I have no time to play, or only a little. I know lolcow and PULL are here to talk shit about online personas but seeing some of these trash girls having free money and no responsabilities is something I sometimes catch myself being jealous of. I just wanna be a successful woman without having to completely cut what I love doing in my free time..

No. 336394

>>332729
I'm in the same boat anon.. Wanna talk?

No. 336411

So one of my friends decided to stop being my friend,she was a toxic cunt so I'm quiet happy that she is out of my life but one of her friends started to copy me. I post something, 2 days later she post the same. Same type of pic and same text. She even changed her name online to something similar to mine. I met this girl maybe twice my whole life and never liked her and her skin walking is fucking creepy,she acts like a replacement for me. I know that sounds petty af because it all happens online but it pisses me off.

No. 336439

File: 1544314033937.jpg (74.34 KB, 500x527, shutup.jpg)

I hate it when people text or post that they're in some kind of trouble without specifically stating what it is and then wait sometimes hours to come back and explain.
Obviously, they're not in that much 'trouble' if they can afford to put it aside until they get around to it.

Fuck it pisses me off because I worry it's some serious shit and it never turns out to be as bad as I thought.

No. 336457

My first bf of 2 years broke up with me a few days after my birthday and it's been on my mind the entire time. What's even worse is that I moved out of state with him, and then moved back to our hometown. Everything here reminds me of him. I have a gut feeling that things will work out between us in the end, but man, it feels like hell. I can't seem to concentrate on any of my hobbies. I've been working out more, meditating, and taking care of myself more than ever. It still hurts, though. We both made a lot of mistakes. I'm not going to ask him to take me back or pressure him. It was his decision, so it's also his to take back if he decides to. I don't hold any resentment or bitterness towards him at all. I have nothing but unconditional love for myself and him.

Still, I wish I knew how I could heal faster. Sometimes the pain gets overwhelming and takes my breath away. We talked every day, he shared the most intimate parts of himself he was too ashamed to tell anyone else, he learned how to cook so he could make my favorite foods, he told me making me happy made him the happiest, and I could see it in his eyes. Then he got depressed and changed completely, he became bitter and spiteful. I still wanted to try my best despite this, but he left me. I know the best thing I can do for him is let him go right now. But still, it hurts so much…

No. 336590

What's with girls on tiktok posting "ironic" "girls belong in the kitchen, women have no rights" bullshit?? I'm probably being uptight as fuck, and hopefully they're all joking, but it's so pathetic and disgusting. It only fuels my hatred for white girls.

No. 336603

>>336590
Attention seeking.

None of them would enjoy that treatment unironically, they just know that saying edgy shit about women gets them that juicy attention.

No. 336631

i really hate crystal.cafe. i wanted to like it but i just…can't. i enjoy /ot/ and /g/ here, but the boards seemed a bit limited, so i was excited when the site opened up. tbh i think it might be because of the trannies. every time i go on there i get vibes from being a young channer hiding out on /jp/ watching those people in the "tfw you want to be the little girl" threads. i feel like the mix of that and "quirky" normie-ish girls make the whole site forced.

i'm really glad to have you anons, i just feel so disappointed in c.c

No. 336642

Scrolling through the cute guys thread really made me realize that the standard for guys is so low… Pretty much no matter what you look like, there's gonna be someone who likes that niche and other ppl won't really care. Meanwhile, girls can be perfect barbie dolls and even then men and women alike will revel in picking apart flaws.

Just feels like men are generally liked by default and women are disliked by default. I know this sounds like I just found out what misogyny is but it just kinda hit me, makes me sad.

No. 336644

>>336631
Same. From time to time I try to give it a chance again - but then, simply nope. Example, their pet thread: using a pic of a big titted anime girl as op. But then they don't get why we accuse them of being male larpers… Posting there makes me paranoid that I'm actually talking to or venting to a man/tranny.

No. 336647

>>336644
That was SO gross, it made me think there really are tranny larpers there

No. 336650

>>336644
Is it really that impossible for a woman to like anime girls and shit?
I'm definitely a bio woman, but I'm still a gross weeb who continues to like busty anime ladies. I guess I can see why you'd doubt they're women, and while I'm sure there are a few LARPers, I think many are just weeby women straight from 4chan and haven't shaken that behaviour. And the user base seems more pathetic than here so it's not unlikely for them to be a bit gross. That comes along with being a slimy frumplet who can't even get a guy to hold their hand.
Not even insulting them btw
t. Slimy frumplet

No. 336651

>>336631
>>336644
Same. I've been wondering if there's any way to salvage the site but besides super strict moderation (like banning r9k related terminology and pepe /wojak images)and more google surveys where self-confessed men who are dumb enough to out themselves get ip banned (don't know if the cc mod already does this), I don't know what else could be done.

No. 336652

>>333977
oh man. im a virgin too and I just feel so dejected about it sometimes. I know some bi girls but they're all weirdly involved with """"the community""" and have unpleasant personalities. I've had a couple girls come onto me this year and I think something is seriously wrong with me because I just shut down and leave even if I am interested. fuck it sucks

No. 336655

>>334872
me too…. what are you supposed to do?? its making my depression so much worse. I'm so so isolated. I barely feel anything anymore

No. 336656

>>336655
>what are you supposed to do??
cut down on the internet and explore what else is out there, outside of your monitor. i know, easier said than done.

No. 336661

>>335643
yeah OP sounds like her BFs surrogate mother lol

No. 336665

>>334746
>>334806
>>334872
>>336655
>my brain is fucked from constant internet/bullshit media abuse I've subjected it to for over 4 years
>I have no hobbies anymore and I'm failing uni
>My attention span has gone to absolute shit
>Internet addiction has ruined my life. I could be so far ahead right now were it not for this.
>I'm so so isolated.
Same.

I was ana, didn't have many friends, was shy (and probably already a little depressed) as a teen, but if I hadn't fled to the internet, I would have turned out mostly normal. Maybe is still would be "forever alone", but I might have at least some friends / would spend my free time studying. I write part 1 (of 2) of my final exams in just 2 months. I have no idea how I'm supposed to pass it. I've barely studied so far, have zero motivation and feel so depressed all the time. My room and my hygenie is a mess, everything I do all day long is browse the internet.
I think one of the worst things is, that while studying I have to use my computer, because everything is online now. So even if I intend to study, I have to switch it on and then always think "Ah, I just quickly check this site". "Quickly!" often turns into the whole day, until 3 in the morning.
I was always the best student in elementary school, still one of the best in high school, but now I feel seriously too dumb in comparison to the others. All of them talk so well, I stutter like an idiot. They use words that I don't even know…
I also think I'm addicted to sugar. Lacking confidence, being lonely, made me turn to food as a source of happyiness and now my body is conditioned to always crave it (and of course it adds to me not feeling well). I especially feel like eating when I'm at my desk on my computer. And I feel like being on my computer/on the internet 24/7. Sometimes I feel really nervous and excited prior to using it - like a true addict…

No. 336669

>>336665
jesus fucking christ we are so similar. Ive been ana for 6 and a half-ish fucking years now and nothing helps, the internet definitely doesn't cause I use it to distract myself from hunger. Also don't have any friends (except my ex who treats me like a comfortable fallback option in friendship and romance), can't relate to others at all because my empathy is shot to hell, and a lot of my interests are way too niche to find communities out in the real world. Hate studying for the same reason too, my saving grace is most of my uni work is not online cause I'm an art student, but the bad part of that is that my internet use has decimated my creativity and motivation to make art.

I also feel really nervous re: computer use but more so if I'm about to shut it off? Like I get really stressed about "missing" stuff. Like that other anon said, everything is just endless and its fucking terrible and exhausting. I wish I had more self control but also because of how I was exposed to online culture and the really evil parts (liveleak, porn, sugaring) as a teen I'm now permanently traumatised in the real world too

No. 336670

>>336669
doubleposting but it honestly makes me want to kill myself and I have no idea how to handle it. I see therapists (multiple and have for years and years) and their advice isn't helping. the only ways I can see out of this fucking technological hole are suicide or becoming a hermit and I'm too much of a coward for either

No. 336688

I'm really starting to hate people and want new friends so badly. I'm so tired of waiting around for hours because I'm meant to do something with someone or talk to them and they just put me on hold while they have fun with friends.

I could join them sure, and just be ignored or be the 9th wheel while everyone else is playing games in our server that I don't have, or just have to mute because they're playing a comp game. It just sucks and makes me so frustrated that I purposely make sure I'm free for them and they just don't care at all that I'm stuck waiting even though I ask repeatedly throughout the day if we're gonna do that thing we wanted to do.

Stupid vent I know. I just want more friends.

No. 336699

I'm so furious with Twitter and the slow pushes to portray pedophiles as victims.
My friend had to remove his tweet where he said that all pedophiles should be gassed despite the rest of his tweet and the entire discussion being civil.

Apparently, pedophiles are now called MAP or minor attracted person, and they supposedly abstain with their no contact policy, just to get sympathy from others because boohoo, they can't stick their dick in a prepubescent kid.

the moment, the very moment when in the west pedophiles become a protected minority, you know that's a time for a great purge.

With platforms like Twitter and WordPress having a stance like that with trannies and pedos, but violence and threats against everyone else is ok, I wish there were decent and more popular alternatives.

No. 336713

>>336699
I know it sucks, anon, but I think it'll die down. This shit started on Tumblr, I'm pretty sure, and most of the users (including hardcore SJWs) railed against it appropriately. I think the "MAP community" is just flooding to Twitter now that Tumblr staff is actually, formally giving them the boot instead of ignoring them.
If not, this shit has to be the tipping point. If the "MAP" madness doesn't wake people up and get faced with backlash before it 100% reaches the mainstream, nothing will. Something's got to give.

No. 336721

>>336665
Shit can't believe I found girls like me

My friends are always beaming with hapiness, talking about what they want to do in the future, hobbies and dates and I'm just… souless

Yesterday I called one of my friends who had panic syndrom and asked her for help since she managed to get out of it on time. While I was talking to her I felt like crying so much I had to go and tell everything to my father, and he hugged me and looked worried af. I did the same when my mom arrived later. I've cried three times yesterday and called myself an useless piece of trash.

I'm going to my friend's therapist this saturday

No. 336735

>>336713
Yeah, you're right. It's got to do with the recent tumblr thing.
Oh, and another thing he mentioned was how many pro maps or pro pedos had those pronouns in their bio and the tranny flags. I wish I had a link to that tweet so I could post screenshots in the gender critical thread. It's truly alarming.

I do hope the whole thing dies because if it doesn't, I don't know how any group could combat such trends with tech giants supporting them and silencing any opposing voices.

No. 336740

>>336699
I wouldn't call them victims, but I think they should be less ostracized so they can get help.

>he said that all pedophiles should be gassed despite the rest of his tweet and the entire discussion being civil.

This is what I'm talking about. Pedophiles aren't inherently criminals who deserve the death penalty, they can be stopped before they actually do something. I get you don't like them, but people take this shit too far and don't think rationally.

No. 336777

I have this really really big challenge tomorrow which has made me extremely depressed, binge eating terribly, can't stop crying and shaking from anxiety over it and everyone in my family knows how scared i'am but I haven't got one reassuring text message tonight from anyone. I feel so alone and no one understands.

No. 336800

>>336740
You've got to be joking. You should definitely post this in the unpopular opinion thread.

fyi, the tweets had bunch of pedo perverted fantasies which is why among other people, my friend responded the way he did. I can't blame him. I'm just sickened that there's going to be people like you that think being a pedophile can be treated and that they have the will power to abstain when statistically it has been proven wrong over and over again. Who loses here? The kids that can't defend themselves. I'd like pedo defenders to look at their victims and say that again. And even so, if we pretend that a mythological pedophile that's virtuous enough to not molest kids exists, why should we focus on that small percentage instead of defending the most vulnerable in our society? hint, it's not the pedos.

I've seen the trend of pedo-apologetic documentaries even on well respected channels like Arte. Frankly, I'm extremely worried about the future, the environmental and societal issues are concerning and it's going downhill rapidly. I truly hope that it never goes further than these attempts to humanize themselves, but I worry it's not going to stop here.

No. 336810

File: 1544367866063.png (175.92 KB, 736x400, ml.png)

>>336740
NTA, and this is long, but I support hyperbolic statements like that, because anything less paves the road to normalization. Normalization leads to "I know Uncle Derry's a pedophile, but he's been doing so well with his therapy that I think it's fine to let him babysit our kids for one night. I trust him completely", and then when something happens, what do you say then? A family that loves and trusts this person who is a pedophile will likely say "Mistakes happen", make excuses, downplay the trauma caused to the child and even victim blame to keep peace. Suddenly, Uncle Derry is actually the real victim, and not only are his actions the parent's fault (he is mostly innocent), those kids also should've understood that he's sick and not aroused him so much. Anything less is "unfairly demonizing a mentally ill person". Hell, that even happens in families now, so imagine how much worse and more common it'd get if there wasn't a stigma around pedophilia.

Pedophilia should not be seen as something normal. It means a person, criminal or not, is an inherent risk to a child. All too often, when you give them an inch, they take a mile. Supporting their recovery will eventually, inevitably mean allowing them at least some access to children to make them feel accepted, and in attempt to "aid" them in their therapy. That's their end goal. Leniency disguised as help. They will take advantage of non-pedophile's empathy, naivete and stupidity to sate their fetish. Do not fall for it.

If you don't believe me, try reading anything written by pedophiles about their paraphilia when out of "normie" scrutiny (I found this on a blog full of deep web screenshots, it was originally linked in the Zoosadist thread - unsurprisingly, many zoosadists are also pedophiles). Many see nothing wrong with it, and even the ones who understand it's wrong won't stop if they can get away with it. They need better clinical treatment, yes, but mainstream society should absolutely vilify this paraphilia and recognize it for what it is. I never want to live in a world where someone can casually say "Well, I'm a pedosexual/childlover/MAP/pedophile!", because that is the beginning of the end.
t. was groomed and brainwashed by a pedophile who tried this "a bloo bloo bloo pedos are sad misunderstood victims of mental illness :((( what about false rape accusations :((( witch hunts!!!" on me

No. 336820

>>336740
Before you start showing the slightest sympathy towards pedos, read this Twitter thread about the pedo handbook on how they plan to normalize pedophilia: https://twitter.com/PankhurstEM/status/991258039511670784?s=19

No. 336824

I am genuinely so tired of just dealing with my dysphoria. Should I just give up and troon out. The only thing stopping me its a) being trans is fucking embarrassing and I don't want to interact with trannies at all, just go stealth as a short dude and b) terrified of balding

No. 336826

>>336824
Trooning out is not gonna be easy either. Don't ruin your healthy body with hormones and surgery if you can avoid it. Transmen age very badly and don't tend to pass.

No. 336827

>>336824
You really shouldn't. You'll just end up wasting thousands of dollars to end up with all the least desirable features a male can have. Tbh pretty much the only ftms that do pass look so extremely unfortunate people don't even consider them being trans because they can't fathom a girl wasting so much time and money only to come out looking like that.

No. 336829

>>336824
don't fuck up your body with hormones and surgeries, that part is definitely a mistake I wouldn't make again. Just present masculine if you want. It's better to be a healthy masculine female than to be a miserable transman.

No. 336852

>>336824
You should try therapy and reading feminist literature, legit the thing for body image and dysphoric issues.

No. 336862

>>336824
What is stopping you from doing "masculine" things or presenting in a "masculine" way?
What makes you feel like a man? In what ways are you not a woman?

No. 336866

>>336852
>>336829
>>336827
>>336826
thanks guys. a little breath of sanity is what I need. I do read a lot of feminist literature and have done multiple CBT courses and other outpatient therapies, and the dysphoria ebbs and flows. its just bad at the moment. also, anon who implied they are detransitioned- do you have any tips re: coping with dysphoria?

>>336862
Its not about not wanting to be a woman (not ""social dysphoria"") like I could care less what "gender" I am. its my physical body that makes me upset. I wish I didn't have breasts or a soft feminine frame, I wish I had male body hair, I even kind of wish I had a dick frankly. It's days like this where I kick myself for not going through with transition at 16 like I was going too because maybe it would have effected my skeletal structure too if I did it that young and I'd be taller with bigger hands and feet, have a bonier jaw etc.

Thanks for humouring me guys. It's such a relief to even talk about it somewhere where I won't just be told to transition like it has no consequences.

No. 336869

>>336866
Do you know why you feel like you want a dick and male body hair?

No. 336873

>>336869
In the end probably because I'm gay and my first relationship as a teenager was very unpleasant and ended with my ex (who is also gay) telling me she couldn't be with me because she has to "grow up" and have "reproductively viable" relationships (with men. its complicated) and it almost certainly gave me a massive complex lol.
I've always been butch too and some days it is just too hard. I hate that I feel this because gender is such bullshit and I really ascribe to radfeminism, but sometimes my butch-ness just feels so disconnected to my female body and it makes me feel really ugly and self conscious. I just feel like it would be so much easier for me to stealth as a dude. I want people to look at me and like me, view me with dignity and subjectivity, instead of as a weird ugly threatening predatory woman.

also I just think body hair looks really good and wish I was taller with masculine features because I feel so weak and small (cuz I am).

Sorry for treating you people as therapists, but hey, vent threat and all

No. 336874

>>336873
That's a really depressing story anon, I'm sorry your first love ended that way. I didn't mean to reopen old wounds, I just don't know any women irl who are like you so I got a little curious. I don't think anyone would hold it against you for venting anonymously, what else is this place for? Kek.

No. 336875

File: 1544375961885.gif (1.36 MB, 540x304, A7281286-387C-4CD1-A8FF-47CF07…)

I just realized recently that I have a foot face like Lainey. I kind of thought I was better looking than I am for a long time because at certain angles I could get a good selfie and my features by themselves weren’t too bad. But I’ve lost a little cheek fat getting older and the long-ness of my face is really emphasized. Also my hairline has receded and my hereditary hair thinning has begun so my forehead is huge and there’s no end to it’s growth. I know that people started calling Lainey footface because it was a funny thing to say and that she’s not objectively that ugly, but now I really spend a lot of time thinking about it and mostly worrying that I’ll misjudge my attractiveness. I wish there was a way to perceive it better.

No. 336878

>>336873
>"grow up" and have "reproductively viable" relationships
Your ex sounds like an idiot and I'm sorry your first relationship experience had such a negative impact on you anon.
What you are going through sounds like hell but you are very brave for not opting for the easy way out, I hope you meet people that can truly accept you for who you are and not make you feel bad for not being an stereotypical woman or trans men.

No. 336879

>>336866
I feel similar and funnily enough it was after I started spending more time on lolcow. All these talks about having larger than b cups means you have udders and having a more "womanly" figure makes you vulgar got to me.

I'm lesbian so I don't know if that also played a role in it but never before did I hate my shape so much despite not being fat.

I hope losing weight and wearing chest binders will do the trick and that being androgynous will satiate my gender dysphoria.

I wouldn't ever transition but I wish so much I was born a man.

I did wish that too before heavily using lolcow and I wouldn't blame this place but I guess it triggered something.

No. 336881

>>336879
I don't think binders are the answer if you didn't have that problem before lolcow.
Maybe you should stop visiting here for a while, some ana-chan anons and asian-fetishist anons have a very warped view of the world.

No. 336882

>>336874
oh hey man don't worry about it. Its kind of nice to talk about it frankly, you know. I tend to avoid bringing it up with most of my therapists (except my psych who is a gendercrit skinny legend) because they just tell me to go through with transition and it frustrates the hell out of me. Like there are so many other things at play, me being gay, me having an ED, me being spergy- surely theres a better way? But man, on nights like these I just feel so dejected I can't see a better way at all.

>>336878
Hey, thanks for the well-wishes.
>>336879
Oh I'm gay too, and this site is really bad for body dysmorphia if you lurk pretty much any cow threads or body threads. I stick mostly to /ot/. Binding is pretty dangerous (I did it for a few years and cracked two ribs in that time and have reduced lung capacity) but healthy weight loss is cool. Maybe work out? I'm thinking about working out more and seeing if it helps.

No. 336886

>>336875
>I wish there was a way to perceive it better.

Most cows and flakes on this website are never as ugly as farmers make them out to be.
They're as harsh as they are because their actions and personalities have tainted how they are perceived. You likely are being reasonable about your attractiveness, and I'm sure as long as you're not a mean and vulgar person with enemies nobody would ever say horrible things about your looks equivalent to Lainey.

I share a similar body to Moomoo, sans the benefit of lipo and plastic surgery, so I can't really browse that thread sometimes because of the unnecessary things people say about her body so I understand how you feel. The difference is because I'm liked irl nobody makes me feel like shit about it, and I know that unless I start acting like a major cunt who scams people nobody would start. Being a good person is simple enough.

No. 336887

>>336873
I'm glad that you're opening up and venting and trying to figure stuff out for yourself anon, at the end of the day the only person who needs to be comfortable with your appearance is you. Do you work out much? It seems like getting strong could help you in a lot of ways whilst being reversible, exercise is really good for mental health, the visible results offer a good reward that you're actually making achieving something and in my personal gay opinion, there aren't enough muscular butch girls to go around.

>>336875
Maybe lay off of lolcow and stop looking in the mirror so much anon, you sound like someone who's aging normally but developing a complex

No. 336890

>>336866
From what I've experienced my dysphoria is linked to the vulnerability I feel as a female and the commodification of the female body. Learning to fight back and incinerating all that pesky female socialization that's been forced on us was the first step in feeling better about my body. Dress how you want, be boisterous 'for a woman', love other women openly, and don't be afraid to push back. Support groups with from other detransitioned women can also be very healing. Seeing other butch women gives me strength to keep going.

No. 336891

>>336879
>I wouldn't ever transition but I wish so much I was born a man.
I used to think like this, but after spending more time online I realized how glorified men are. They control the arts and entertainments, sports, politics, women have always been overshadowed. But it doesn’t mean women can’t do the same things, we’re just raised to feel like shit about it or think that we can’t. It’s sad.

No. 336892

I've always considered myself bisexual, but the older I get the more apparent it is that I'm almost entirely sexually attracted to women. I'm attracted to my boyfriend however, it feels kind of shitty to say, I wouldn't have ever done anything casual with him. Maybe if he looked twinkish or was very effeminate it would be different.

I can't believe I'm this old and still feel weird and confused about my sexuality. It almost feels like cheating or something when I follow girls on insta or watch lesbian porn. Am I fucked up? I feel kinda fucked up.

No. 336893

>>336650
it's not, but it's literally every post, and every OP pic. they also use pics from gross shit like eromanga sensei which is exactly what dudes and trannies think is comfy uwu.

No. 336895

Anyone else's sexuality fluctuate depending on their hormonal level?

I notice that the more exercise I get, specially weights, the more I feel attracted to other women sexually, so, when my testosterone levels rise.
At the same time, when get in my fertile time of the month I feel a lot more attracted to men.
It's weird, I don't even know if I can call myself bi if if I'm not really attracted to both sexes at the same time, it's usually an alternating thing.

No. 336897

>>336882
> Oh I'm gay too, and this site is really bad for body dysmorphia if you lurk pretty much any cow threads or body threads. I stick mostly to /ot/.

I stick mostly to /ot/ and /g/ but the body nitpicking is not uncommon here.

Regardless, this site is not to blame but it did remind me how much I hated having any curves at all. Also, browsing some lesbian sites and forums also got to me because the ideal gf was someone that looks quite androgynous.

Also, your ex was a bitch. If she loved you in the first place, the reproductive aspect wouldn't have been a problem at all. It's terrible that it laid grounds for your gender dysphoria but at least she did you a favor by leaving your life.

> Binding is pretty dangerous (I did it for a few years and cracked two ribs in that time and have reduced lung capacity)


Holy shit, I'm so sorry! I don't know… I know it's dangerous but I just want to have less visible chest without going under the knife. Yeah, I'm definitely working on a more healthy weight loss and body building.

> I'm thinking about working out more and seeing if it helps.


I hope it does help you. If anything, workout has been proven to improve mood and feeling good in your skin will benefit you.

I don't know how active you are in the lesbian community, but if you're not, definitely join a lgbt center or a club. It will make you feel appreciated and having people like you just the way you are is something everyone needs. I don't have the luxury to frequent a lesbian center but being in a gay friendly place where you're accepted and where being different is normal felt amazing.

No. 336900

>>336890
Oh man yeah. I was talking to a friend the other day about how for me wanting to transition is wanting to be invisible and blend in. I feel like I have a target on my back some days, being butch, being a woman. I wish there were more butch women, and that so many of us didn't feel so much pressure to transition. That kind of inspires me though. I want other women to see me and know its ok.
>>336897
Thanks man. Complicated about the ex thing is she's still my closest friend (I know, poor boundaries, unhealthy, etc). I'm still very hurt by her but nowadays I feel more sorry for her, you know? She doesn't like men, she always goes on rants to me about how alien they are and how she can't have good conversations with her boyfriend, but she seriously views heterosexuality as just like. The thing a woman has to do to "grow up".
I find sports bras pretty great as a binding alternative, but Im very lucky to have a pretty flat chest to begin with. And to be fair I was really binding myself very tightly, partly to purposefully harm myself. Idk, just don't do exercise or sleep with it on, that'll minimise harm I think.
I'm not very active- I kind of hate the lgbt community. At my old uni I went to an lgbt group meeting and it was 3 dudes in bodyline accessories and aliexpress wigs who greeted me with "yay, its lesbian only day!" so I just turned around and left lol. And I've found a lot of spaces like that aren't really gay friendly at all, just like a group of super special pansexual whatevers all complaining about being oppressed by monosexuals, like man I just want to play basketball and have a beer with my fellow homosexuals you know. Any advice on finding a good group/community?

No. 336903

>>336895
I sorta experience that, I feel very horny even towards men when I'm ovulating and "normal" and solely attracted to women when I'm not. I guess I'm bi but it feels silly to label myself when I'm a khhv that has never been in a relationship with minimal prospects of that changing in the near future either.

No. 336909

>>336895
I'm bi and I'm not interested in both sexes 50/50 all the time. Sometimes I'm really into ladies and wonder if I'm actually a lesbian and sometimes I'm really into men and wonder if I'm kidding myself and if I'm actually straight. But over time, I can see I am into both. So don't worry about it!

No. 336910

>>336900
It's nice of you to still be friends with her and noble of you to feel sorry after she's hurt you but you're only harming yourself here.

I saw my ex with her fiance and even though it's been a long time, seeing her from afar all happy with to-be husband made me die a little bit inside, like a huge sharp pain right there where my heart is. I don't know how and where you get the power to be with your ex on friendly terms because even though she's complaining about men, she is still with one. It would hurt me on an emotional and mental level.
I know it's hard to cut a friendship but you should really try to distance yourself a bit. At least try and see if you feel better in any way. If you do, that's one solution to make yourself feel better.

Also, I understand how you feel about "lgbt" communities. The only lesbian community where I live is a tranny center in all but name. But when I went abroad in Berlin I met a friendly bunch in a regular cafe and then I was soon introduced to some lesbian spaces and one thing led to another. I guess I was just lucky, but if you're in a bigger city, surely there must be an actual lesbian community. I wish I could give you a better advice, the circumstances are rarely ideal when it comes to the L in LGBT.

No. 336912

>>336895
You probably are just bi. I'm a lesbian and I get excessively horny towards women when I'm ovulating/most fertile and men still completely turn me off. I do find that I'm a bit more interested in being fingered at that part of my cycle though…

No. 336930

>>336910
I guess I just worry about her a lot. She has breakdowns every so often and I don't know who she'd trust enough to reach out to aside from me. Plus, we are incredibly good friends. Similar people, we make each other laugh and enjoy being around one another and such, so I try to be the better person and just let the past go (even though thats not really a healthy move). I really love her as a very dear friend, but it is pretty painful to be constantly reminded that she would still be with me maybe if I was a dude. To add some details as to why she's the way she is, we were outed in high school, it was very unpleasant and messed us both up- her solution was to date men, mine was to isolate myself.
Still when we are at the same party or are tipsy or high we often end up making out or just cuddling which adds a whole other red flag dimension to this whole deal, and reinforces that she's terribly ashamed of me because Im a woman. Whoo, sorry, feels weird to type that out. I don't really like thinking about it too much, probably because its so blatant how fucked up it is when its written down.

And man, I suppose socialising and getting In With The Lesbians is really the way to go. I hope I can find a nice group like you did! My university city is pretty insane on the liberal front so I doubt Ill find any exclusive lesbian spaces, but maybe in my home city, where people are more down to earth. You've inspired me.

No. 336940

>>336879
I’m not gay but this site has twisted my body perception. i have a very average figure and not much of a defined waist and violin hips and i feel like that makes me look trans, unwomanly, and unattractive to men. some anons here really need to take a step back and examine their own body issues before making comments on others.

No. 336942

>>336930
I'm glad that you will try to reach out to a community. It's probably going to take some time until you find one that suits you, but when you do, it will help a ton.

I still think you should distance yourself from your ahem friend, but you do you. I hope that you find both friends and hopefully a loving gf. I'm sorry that you suffered. Gender dysphoria is a bitch and being friends with someone who is ashamed of you because you're a woman is not going to help one bit.

Well, you probably already know that.

No. 336949

Ah, /ot/ is so peaceful without the kpop shitical thread. Too bad this won't last…

No. 336980

>>336949
Anon, you could always have an ot without the kpop shitical thread, you know. E.g….you could just hide it!

No. 336985

>>336980
nta but i cannot understand people who parrot 'hide the thread' about every thread when that's not the issue. shit threads filled with shitty users are the problem. otherwise why not just go on 4chan and hide all the threads and posts you don't like, that means the userbase is different right?

No. 336988

>>336985
Yeah, this. The autism always leaks out.

No. 337000

>>336988
this. I have a lot of threads hidden. doesn't stop the koreaboos and man haters from leaking into the few I have left still showing. having a hellweek would be a dream.

No. 337006

>>336985
>otherwise why not just go on 4chan and hide all the threads and posts
i do this, and it works. there's nothing unreasonable or difficult about hiding threads you don't like. i have gener gritical, all the kpop+ jmusic threads hidden and rarely ever see shit leak out unless it's in /meta/ where it's become popular to just whine and complain about minuscule problems. thread hopping to complain about users or other threads should be a bannable offense . you're only contributing to the problem bringing attention to those shit threads, and turning things into a bigger issue than it is.

No. 337149

THE BOY THAT WAS MY FRIEND THEN MY CRUSH THEN MY FRIEND THEN MY FUCKBUDDY IS NOW MY BOYFRIEND AND TOLD ME HE LOVES ME AND I'M SO HAPPY

No. 337234

Everything is temporary. Nothing is forever. I can't take this! No matter what I do, I won't be happy.

No. 337243

My brother came home for Christmas. He's way older than me and was severely abusive all my life, he's also a wife-beater and threatened to hurt my parents multiple times.
But he still is supposed to come home every year and my parents act as if nothing happened just because he is their son.

No. 337245

File: 1544421791550.gif (124 KB, 250x241, 20B2CF5F-FA25-4457-A3C7-7CBA9B…)

>>337149
I’M HAPPY FOR YOU ANON

No. 337251

I hate that we're supposed to fucking baby men through life and nobody does it for us. I hate that when I go on mental health websites for how to make my bf seek help it's literally bullshit like this.
>Don't nag, men don't like nagging women
>Be delicate, men don't want to have another mother
>Don't ask for outside help, men don't want the world knowing their problems
>Mother him, men want little things done for them all the time without asking
>Remind him you're always there, men need to know you'll help them at any moment

Bitch the fuck is this shit? Why are we meant to be mothers and girlfriends and babysitters at the same time for grown ass humans?
Carry your happy fucking ass to therapy like an adult, stop waiting around for me to hold your hand while you emotionally abuse me because ~muh depreshun~ when I've begged you for help when I was suicidal and you told me to fuck off.
I'm tired of begging and pleading for him to get help while he just tells me he's ~broken~ and has been like that since birth. He's making himself to be a pariah and I hate it to my very core.

No. 337254

>>337251
I agree with everything you said except saying 'my bf' instead of 'my soon to be ex bf'

He sounds awful, how have you not dumped him?? It's not your fault men are coddled like this but you aren't obligated to enable it.

No. 337256

File: 1544425090601.jpg (8.43 KB, 183x275, orcuthisdick.jpg)

>>337251
Get rid of him, anon.

No. 337257

File: 1544425981059.gif (1.67 MB, 420x360, 1544084564427.gif)

Why God? Why did you forsake me with my stupid one nasolabial fold? I could have been so kawaii with out it.

No. 337261

>>337254
>>337256
I don't know why I didn't say ex, it's just such a habit to type bf after so long lol. I did end it last night after some stupid shit but tried to talk to him today and do the whole "We can still be friends" thing and wanted him to actually seek help for his mental issues.

No. 337270

Small rant but who the fuck actually finds all these "sandwich" jokes funny?

Lately I've been watching a lot of TikTok compilations (lol pls no bully) and there's always one of a guy talking about how women are property, a woman wearing a sign saying "property", a woman talking about making a sandwich or pretending to dodge domestic abuse, presumably to get a bunch of video responses from men saluting them or clapping for them (which is the norm). I don't mind people taking the piss out of themselves but who actually finds these jokes funny? Like what is the punch-line? It would be nice if this was drawing attention to the issue and made people think but it just strikes me as insecure women desperately looking for praise from "gamers". For example, when people of other races make jokes about racism I don't get the impression that they're desperately seeking attention from white people…

No. 337271

>>337270
That's literally what it is. Women going "look how cool and in on it I am! look I'm cool I'm not like those feminazis! Love me!" Like that nyan cosplayer girl making more tiktok parodies of her being made fun of.
They're trying to make men think they're the cool girls and worthy of attention without being called a thot for getting sexual attention.

No. 337272

>>337271
I don't think nyanyan making fun of herself is at all comparable to Uncle Toms and women claiming they are property

No. 337276

I am not a nyanyan Stan but I really dislike how everyone claimed she looked like a trap regardless of whether they meant it in a "good" or bad way. The ones that meant it in a bad way are retarded to act like just because a girl doesn't have giant tits and fertility statue hips she looks like a boy. On the other end of the spectrum, facially she is very obviously a girl, traps are deluded to think she looks like them. Also her hips aren't even that narrow, she just doesn't have large breasts. She's a nice looking cute slim frame girl and that's that.

No. 337290

>>337276
I'll be honest, at first I did think she was a trap. But mainly because lots of people said so, and I couldn't see why else she would blow up. I just assumed there had to be something more interesting about her than a pretty face so maybe she's just a ridiculously genetically blessed boy. But no, it was just men being the shallow pedos that they are, obsessing to absurd degrees about a young girl.

No. 337338

>>337276
Just looked her up and her body does look manly. HOWEVER, just 5 years ago people would have simply said "Well, her figure isn't very good", which also isn't nice, but by far not as hurtful as being called a trap, meaning a man…

No. 337350

File: 1544440785626.png (88.16 KB, 150x338, body.PNG)

>>337338
literally what kind of hypersexualized hyperfeminized insane fantasy world are you living in that this doesn't look like a feminine female body? she just doesn't have big boobs. only hentai warped troons or retards would think this looks like a masculine body. she has a perfectly normal feminine figure? she has a nice figure, it's just that men are retarded

No. 337355

>>337350
Her waist is completely straight and her arms are a bit meaty/muscular looking. This has got nothing to do with her boob size.

No. 337359

>>337350
I'm not involved in this discussion, but I was just scrolling through /ot/ without reading anyone's posts, and I seriously thought that was a picture of a tranny trying to look like a "sexy schoolgirl uwu" from the thumbnail. Didn't realize it was the "hit or miss" girl.
You really picked a bad picture to make your point, anon. That's all I got.

No. 337361

>>337251
>Be delicate, men don't want to have another mother
>Mother him, men want little things done for them all the time without asking
Hmm…

No. 337409

Hate the nit-picking going on in snow. I want to laugh at people's bad choices, not read teenage girls sperg about cows daring to have natural boobs, pores or a spare tire.
It's lazy comedy and it's giving the user base low self esteem. I don't understand how this site is getting both increasingly radfem but also increasingly misogynistic.

No. 337417

>>337409
agreed. its getting unreadable.
you can also tell who the sexworkers are the the shayna threads or the artfags in the holly threads or the petfags in the various pettuber threads and so on. the endless nitpicking and the 'as an x' uwu bs is awful.

No. 337426

How do you act in situations like these?
I went with my mom in the supermarket and while we were heading towards the checkout counter, as my mom was carrying a really heavy pumpkin and I was carrying several yogurts, we were about to place the few things we had on the conveyor belt when this woman cut right in front of us. And soon, after a few minutes, her mother came with a cart loaded with stuff.

I honestly wanted to get into a fight with her but I didn't want to stoop on her level. I didn't even want to curse her or complain. It's just how petty some people can be, my mom and I were carrying items in total, it would have taken us only a few minutes to get through. We ended up going to a different checkout counter but I realized why I prefer ordering online, mostly because of all the nasty slimey people you see irl

No. 337429

File: 1544460158382.jpg (52.41 KB, 540x464, tumblr_pj66qkHIpe1va3hpr_540.j…)

One of my friends is gradually losing interest in me. People come and go, if she wants to move on I won't hold it against her, but I can't help feeling sad. Sorry for being sappy but I legit love her so much and she will always have a place in my heart. I don't think I'll find someone like her ever again.

No. 337443

>>337409
Did ya'll not go to middle and high school? Girls are really mean to eachother. Most of the people who tortured me were female. Like..men are violent but idk where ya'll got this whole ~females protect and are sweet to eachother uWu~ thing. Its insecurity if not outright jealousy in a lot of instances. I saw a girl saying she wanted to be a lolcow and someone agreed because they were jealous because THEY want to get attention the way the cows here do. And I agree with the anon in another thread that said its because they are in the same lifestyle such as camming or whatever and they want to tear down someone who is getting more attention for doing the same kind of thing than they are. Im seeing people call girls fat that weigh less than me and calling asses flat that are actually more round than mine and its really taking a toll of my self esteem so i think im gonna step away for a bit too.

No. 337445

I always found it weird when people complained about media having a character line up that's "unrealistically diverse." Clearly it's one thing if the characters have no other traits written into them (shit pandering writing), but are these complainers really only friends with people just like them? I've had friends who had several different racial backgrounds/sexualities and it just kind of…happened that way. We all shared similar weeb-ass interests so we connected either irl or online.
Is it because I'm a canuck that I don't understand? Or because I'm a biracial bi woman?

No. 337454

>>337445
it's cause it's much of the time it's forced. you can tell when something like that is written with different cultures or races in mind, but most of the time it's something generic that just happens to have a really diverse cast that it never really does anything with.

imo it's nice to see when the people are actually being represented within the story instead of simply to fill a slot.

No. 337455

>>337445
Same here anon, I live in areas populated by minorities so I found it more or less a gooday choice, I people who complain about that are usually insular on how they view the world

No. 337475

File: 1544468520276.gif (459.51 KB, 300x225, no-no.gif)

>>337429
I'm in the same boat, anon. My friend of 15+ years seems to be moving on without me. We've always been long distance (D.C and Cali) but it never affected us until now. She got a boyfriend and suddenly her interests are different and we barely talk.

It's so hard, cuz i get it too. People come and go, but when it's that one person you don't want to go, it doesnt feel right. I think what we should both do is message them and directly ask if they still want to be friends. Be serious about it. If it ends badly, it's better than dragging things on. Good luck, anon

No. 337492

File: 1544473159420.png (541.55 KB, 564x564, 90d508334dcf8e7e87a26259e064d8…)

thats it farmers, thanks for all the laffs and advice. i dont want to spend my last day browsing here, so this is my last post. tomorrow ill lie down in front of a freight train.
things are hard farmers, but theyre gonna be nice for you guys. not for me.

No. 337494

>>337492
What happened?

No. 337495

>>337492
No need to do anything drastic can you get a smoke of weed

No. 337499

>>337445
Sometimes it does seem a bit over the top and forced but I agree. I hate it when they keep trying to point it out, because instead of normalizing the minority, whatever that may be, they make it the elephant in the room. I like it when there is a culturally diverse cast but it's super chill and is never mentioned. Also I don't get when people act like diversity is a bad thing, mostly rednecks who call it "white genocide".

No. 337501

>>337492
Please don't do anything drastic anon. Just take a day to pamper yourself. Show yourself love. That is not the way.
Life can improve for ANYONE.

No. 337502

>>337492
>lie down in front of a freight train
Assuming nothing we'd say would change your mind, why would you pick one of the most frightening and unpleasant ways to die?
I can kind of understand when people spontaneously kill themselves because it's often a spur of the moment decision and things like trains, cars, and tall buildings are readily available.

Yet you're premeditating this, so you have time to think about it. Don't you feel a little bad for traumatizing the conductor who will have to watch you get run over, or the people whose job it is to clean up your guts and put them in a bag?

This is so strange to me.

No. 337507

>>337492
Please don't. I've been at the same point and I still get there every other day but I promise you, things change. If they don't change for the better right away at least they change for the different. You won't be in that same painful situation forever. Please stay alive for the sake of your future self that could look back at the situation you are in right now, knowing you were strong enough to overcome it.

No. 337512

>>337492
You do know that with this you could completely fuck up the innocent train driver's life?
I'm a firefighter, every time somebody jumps in front of a train we have to search for and pick up the parts. Can you imagine what those people look like afterwards? This is something that gives grown man who have been doing the job for years sleepness nights.

No. 337515

File: 1544477516052.jpg (325.31 KB, 1468x1080, 1516880282502.jpg)

>>337502
>traumatizing the conductor

No. 337518

>>337515
train conductors are fucked

No. 337520

>>337515
I'd wager most conductors aren't edgy teenagers who are pretending they're employed on 4chan.

No. 337608

>>337515
seems 100% legitimate

here's an actual source on ptsd and depression in rail workers, if anyone's interested
https://www.newsweek.com/other-train-accident-victims-rail-workers-who-face-ptsd-and-depression-305999

No. 337613

I'm not even a feminist, but it annoys me to no end that people(generally men) can't seem to comprehend that there are many different types of feminists. Like
>why dos feminists not like my slutty video game waifus if they like slut walks
>lol they're irrational ugly bitches that are just jealous of my waifu
I might not be getting my point across super well but surely some of you guys know what I mean. The only difference between feminists they seem to comprehend is that some cape for trannies and some don't like trannies.

No. 337623

>>337492
raccoons are ugly

also don't kill yourself anon

No. 337628

>>337502
>frightening
put some earphones in.
>unpleasant
what? not at all. considering all the other options of dying. it's minimal fuck up if you put your neck on the track and instant, easing the painful part. try thinking things through

No. 337630

>>337628
>considering all the other options of dying
I prefer OD'ing on opioids; not being able to feel pain, and not being conscious of the fact that I'm going to fucking die. But to each their own.
>try thinking things through
Ah, because suicidal people are famous for that. You're trying to tell people to put earbuds in before they step in front of a train, dude. Lmao.

No. 337633

>>337630
When you're lying on the track, yes. And yeah you have to think about your suicide method before you do it. What

You can feel pain on opioids unless it's morphine. Good luck getting your hands on that. Clearly you haven't touched any sort of opiate in your life.

No. 337634

>>337633
Have you ever been around a train or been on tracks before? The sound is tremendous as are the vibrations.
Do you know how many videos there are of people fucking up killing themselves on a train track, and watch themselves bleed out for having whole halves of their bodies and extremities chopped off?
Assuming you don't physically fuck it up, it's psychological torture on yourself and the poor sap in the train who knows he's about to fuck your shit up and cannot stop.

Yeesh, hope you're just trolling or have some autistic arrogance right now.
>You can feel pain on opioids
Haha wot.

No. 337635

>>337630
Why are you getting overly defensive and acting like youre suicidal now after berating OP for wanting to die via freight?

No. 337637

>>337635
How am I being defensive, and how did I convey I'm personally suicidal just because I would have a preferred method of going out if I were?
>you berated OP
Because I told her it was a bad idea……….?

No. 337639

>>337634
Did you not read my initial post about putting your neck on the tracks? Don't put half your body on it. Read my full post before starting a fight for no reason.

>You can feel pain on opioids

Yep, it's not a magic body numbing elixir like you think it is, anon. Trust me, been there done that.

No. 337640

>>337639
>Did you not read my initial post about putting your neck on the tracks?
I'm pretty sure that's painful. Also I'm pretty sure people have attempted to do so before, but have panicked and tried to flee in vain thus still being struck.
>starting a fight for no reason
You're the one who started this debate about how killing yourself with a train is actually a swell idea. Don't act like I came after you haha.

No. 337641

>>337630
>>337637
You sound clueless af on a topic you (admitted) you know nothing about.

No. 337642

>>337641
Then good luck with the train OP. Sorry we tried to stop you.

No. 337644

>getting aggressive with anons who criticized how you're going to kill yourself

Imagine being so borderline.

No. 337646

>>337641
don't you have a freight train to lie in front of, asshole?

No. 337648

>>337630
lmao it's hard to od on opiates tho. most people who die from drugs are from mixing drugs

No. 337652

>>337648
Idk, I heard fentanyl does the trick even for hardened users.

No. 337655

i hate that idk how to use make-up.

i have issues with not liking how i look, like sometimes i think i look good but most of the time i don't? i think make-up might help me feel more confident, but when i daub it on my face idk…

when i take pics of myself, i hate them. i prefer how i look in the mirror.

No. 337712

Three months ago I had some strange symptoms, and figured I had a yeast infection. Being the idiot I am, I decided to treat it over the counter despite never having one before (I was solidly convinced it made sense I was getting one, had just changed BC, was about to start my period, and had just had a clean pep smear, it all lined up)
The next month I had the same issue, same symptoms, “treated” again with a over the counter treatment (realized that it’s probably a bigger issue if I’m having another one, but did that classic “if it’s a problem again, I’ll go to the doctor”)
Sure enough, two weeks later I’m having the same symptoms. Go to our school health center with the idea that it’s possibly a UTI or yeast infection.
I got negatives back on tests for both of them, turns out my symptoms line up best with chlamydia
So either my partner of the last nine months cheated on me sometime in October, or I possibly have something worse that I’ll have to deal with further. I won’t know for sure until Wednesday and it’s sort of killing me.
I want to believe my partner wouldn’t do this to me, but with the symptoms I’m having it really makes sense.
Fuck

No. 337729

being bottom doesn't inherently equal feminine and being top doesn’t inherently equal masculine.

huge pet peeve of mine!

No. 337738

I've been thinking about a short, sad but cute animation I watched when I was little grill all day. My memory is extremely foggy because I was only 3 or 4 when I first saw it, but here are some things I remember about it:
>Set to "I'll Be Home for Christmas"
>About either a cat or a rabbit father who was sailing in a small fishing boat on a very stormy night, upset he couldn't get home to his family
>Contained a snow globe
>Extremely depressing
>Aired somewhere between 2002 and 2005ish on… HBO Family, I think?
>Could've aired on a program with many different Christmas themed animated (music) videos for kids, one of which was set to "The Christmas Song." I believe the program was similar to the Goodnight Moon TV program, which was also on HBO

After spending some time on the HBO wiki, I think I could've seen it on a program called 30 by 30: Kid Flicks, but I have no way of knowing for sure because none of the episodes of that show are documented. Vid related is the only animation I can even find from the show. Even though it's lower quality than the animations I remember, it's similarly depressing and 30 by 30 did have a Halloween special apparently, so maybe they had a Christmas special too and that's what I'm thinking of… But in that case, it's probably lost media anyways :( rip

No. 337750

Not going to see my nephew for Xmas either. Despite saying they would go with us to travel to my boyfriend's mothers house, fuckboi dad and mom are going to L.A. because "its a free ticket" to see fuckboi's mom. We called them out on it tonight and they acted like they were apologetic. They knew our schedules were fucked as we both work hospitality but apparently that wasn't enough to jog their memory of our XMAS trip. Boyfriend's sister, mom of my nephew, is also on meth or something. It's great. I fucking hate it. I want to see my nephew.

No. 337755

Train anon, are you still here?

No. 337774

>>331705
Normies asking for photos all of the time is so annoying. I'm not hideous or anything but I have an aversion to putting photos of myself on the internet and think selfies are stupid as fuck, how many times do you need to see someones face from a slightly different angle with a different expression for it to be enough??

No. 337803

I don't know what some people have against using headphones. There's a guy in my class blasting music from his phone while his big ass headphones are RIGHT there beside him on the desk. He's listening to video game music while working. I know I'm gonna have to tell him to put his headphones on, but it annoys me to inform people they are being publicly retarded.

No. 337804

>>337803
lol i am having deja vu about reading this and rolling my eyes about him doing something that annoying.

some guy was doing that in the grocery the other day with his phone speaker and headphones around his neck. what's up with these people?

No. 337817

I'm failing really really bad only second day on the job. I don't know how to stop being so stupid and every time I say I'm stupid people gaslight me and sayI'm not but I fucking am and they know it. I'm struggling and no one is helping me.

I can't do anything/remember anything/explain anything/I can't think of words or make sentences make sense in speech, which is really bad because this job requires all that to be GREAT. Something is wrong with me, my executive function, something. I don't know what to do or how to fix it or become better because its ruining my life.

And most people have something that keeps them holding on through it all, a boyfriend, a group of friends, a passion, ANYTHING but I have nothing. I don't see the point of being here.

No. 337818

>>337803
THIS. I see people on the bus watching videos with their phone speakers on full volume. Why?? Why would you pick shitty built-in speakers over headphones with much more better sound quality to begin with and why would you want to annoy everyone around you? I can sort of understand if it's a long ride and you're keeping your kids busy with some show they can watch from the tablet (even though it's annoying too and you should get a dual headphone jack for them or at least turn the volume down) but with adults you'd expect some consideration for the people who don't want to listen to your dope netflix shows.

And regarding people thinking that headphones are rude I always thought it was a meme but actually some people think it's rude to walk around the city with your headphones on? Why? It doesn't make any sense. Why does it bother a complete stranger if I want to mind my own business and listen to my favourite music on my headphones to make busy commuting more tolerable?

No. 337820

File: 1544523982818.jpeg (108.62 KB, 664x744, E112EAFF-EF1C-4A0A-9DFA-89E684…)

i tried to clean my ass for sexy times and used some sort of minty cooling agent and a huge glob of it lads

No. 337821

>>337803
I feel like these are the people who dream of some cute person coming up to them and admiring their music taste and shit, like how some pretentious people purposely read in crowded areas or loudly play handheld games. Obvi its not always the case but I’ve seen enough fantasies about it to think that

No. 337829

>>337803
My brother blasts shitty rap music 24/7 around the house either from our speaker that has REALLY LOUD bass or from his phone and he'll walk up and down the hall with the volume on max. I've told him so many times that it's seriously annoying and to turn the bass down or turn the volume down when he's standing directly outside my bedroom but he'll then start to verbally abuse me. He literally cannot comprehend why people don't want to listen to Takeshi 69, xxx Tentacion or some guy in a hoodie all. fucking. day. The worst part is that even if I'm the polite one and I decide to put my own headphones/earplugs on to drown him out, I can still hear the bass thumping in the walls.

I'd be so fucking embarrassed to broadcast such shitty music taste to my family. I use headphones/earphones all the time and if I have friends over and we're listening to music I'll turn the bass down at very least out of respect jfc. But if you're walking around the house with a phone in your hand, why not just use headphones??? I don't understand it??? Also like >>337818 said people blast videos on the bus and have really loud phone/skype conversations (usually in foreign languages) like I have no idea why these people don't feel shame for what they're doing.

No. 337838

File: 1544528130157.jpg (50.92 KB, 450x323, zXk6gV12b.jpg)

I'm a functioning alcoholic, but my gf said that if I dont quit drinking for real this time that she'll leave me. I'm scared and I don't know what to do because getting sober is so hard but I want to be good enough for her.
I've been an alcoholic on and off for just under a decade or so and I rarely show signs of being drunk since my tolerance is quite high. I drink maybe 20-25 units daily because it helps me work but hardly ever more than that. She and I have lived together for a few years now, but she never really noticed me drinking (unless we went on a work night out or something obviously).
Ive been prescribed antabus for years, but i havent been taking it because 1)I love drinking alcohol and 2)It tastes like ass.
Anyway I've been trying to compile a list of reasons not to drink and I thought i'd post it somewhere for accountability. Any suggestions as to further reasons would be very much appreciated.
1) alcohol is super high in calories and since I barely eat food then ill probably lose weight easily if I can quit drinking, as well as being less bloated and looking slimmer.
2) if I stop drinking then my face wont retain so much water and I wont have to go around with a pair of big bulimia hamster cheeks.
3) not get as many wrinkles or get bad teeth from vomiting.
4) can afford to buy nice things when before I would have spent the money on drinking instead.
5) not be shaky and jittery all the time.
6) get more sleep which is good for health.
7)not constantly smell like ethanol is leaking from my every pore.
8) i dont want to end up looking like momokun with bad skin and getting really fat.
Sorry about this self-indulgent whine but I figured that this would be the best place to post it since I dont really have friends I can talk to or anything.

No. 337839

>>337838

Hugs, anon. I have quite a few alkies in my family so I've seen this first hand. I really hope that you're able to get the help you need.

Another fun reason to quit drinking is that it's carcinogenic- alcohol, especially consumed by women who've never been pregnant, dramatically increases the risk for breast cancer. Cancer is horrifying and painful, and I'm watching an inlaw go through it right now. It made me realize no amount of alcohol is worth that life.

Have you checked out any online/IRL forums or support groups for people trying to get sober? Do you have a counselor that might be able to help you?

I have compulsions (not alcohol or drug related) and found that DBT-style therapy was helpful in getting me to a better place overall. I still have all my materials from my group sessions.

No. 337844

>>337655
Why don't you focus on not placing so much value on how you look in photographs and gaining tangible confidence in real-world stuff, like a career or your education or a hobby. Makeup is literally a waste of time and money that you could be spending amassing actual skill. You're worth more than how you personally feel about your appearance.

No. 337846

>>337738
If you find out what it is, can you get back to me? It sounds really sweet. Also what was the video you uploaded? It seems like its unavailable, but the thumbnail was super cute and I wanna know!

No. 337847

>>337839
ah, thanks. that means a lot, anon.
I had no idea about that, actually, but thats even more reason to quit, thank you for the kind words and motivation.
I tried going to AA/NA before, but I felt kinda alienated since I was basically the only one under 50 and one of the only women there aside from the counsellor. Also in my experience they can often tend to be super-christian, which doesnt really appeal to me. I did have some therapy group sessions the first time I got hospitalised though, and they seemed helpful, so I might go to the dr and ask if there are any more support group things I could attend.
Strangely, I hadnt even considered seeking support online/looking at forums etc, but thats a fantastic idea and ill definitely try to see what kind of resources there are out there.
Thanks for the advice anon, this genuinely helped a lot and gave me a lot to consider, much love

No. 337848

>>337838
Fellow alcoholic here. I can't say much else than good luck with quitting. My gf of 7 years left me half a year ago because I couldn't quit and man this shit just ain't worth it.

No. 337850

>>337838
most importantly on your reasons not to drink is you'll be a healthier and more stable influence on your gf, and a better person for her to be around, for anyone to be around. please seek therapy like >>337839 suggested- dbt helped my anorexia a lot and it was kinda similar (obviously not the same but) because I genuinely enjoyed starving myself and how I felt when I was starving. my advice would be to make sure you have other things in your life you can enjoy- develop some new hobbies, learn something new, take up running or something. I believe in you anon!

No. 337852

File: 1544531459104.jpg (84.92 KB, 1024x545, 004-Focal_Length_Comparison-10…)

>>337655
tbh I agree with >>337844 about trying not to place so much value on your looks- looks will fade, and you are almost definitely your own harshest critic when it comes to appearances- you probably think you look way uglier than you do.
another thing about photographs vs. real life is that sometimes photographs are just really unflattering, it all depends on focus length, lighting, angles and posing (see pic related for an example of focal length). Think about how different these ecelebs look in candids vs in posed, photoshopped selfies. If you want to learn to take good selfies, there are lots of techniques you can use in order to look better, as well as apps like SNOW if you want animu filters or stickers.
wrt the makeup use, practice makes perfect! if you go to a makeup store, there will often be a lady at the counter who will apply makeup on you and show you how to do it free of charge. You can easily get shown the correct types of makeup for your skin type. I would personally always invest in a good foundation/skin makeup and then cheap out on things like eyeshadow. If you purchase an eyeshadow palette with a variety of neutral shades, you can experiment and see which ones look best.
if you like, you can watch youtube tutorials to learn the basics (personally i would advise against going full-on for the instahoe beauty guru look, though, since it doesnt translate well to real life). If you know things like what skin type you have and what kind of eyes you have (ie. double-eyelid, single-eyelid, deep-set etc- google 'types of eye shape' and see which one looks most like you) then you can google 'oily skin makeup' or 'hooded eyes makeup' etc to see some techniques that will specifically look good for your face type.
The most important thing to remember when it comes to makeup is that applying it is a skill and can be improved with time and practice just like anything else- that, and 'less is more'.

No. 337854

>>337844
>Why don't you focus on not placing so much value on how you look in photographs and gaining tangible confidence in real-world stuff, like a career or your education or a hobby.
what if you have no clue about what you want to pursue? no passions or drive to guide you towards something? nta but i'm similarly insecure and have been fixating on my looks like crazy because i have nothing else to do.

No. 337855

>>337848
god im so sorry anon, hugs. I really hope you get the help you need.
>>337850
ah, thank you, thats a great idea anon. I actually used to love running (and am still somehow in fairly acceptable shape, at least for an alcoholic with a terrible lifestyle lol) , so maybe ill give it a try again.
Therapy also sounds like a good idea, even though I find the idea of talking to a professional about this kinda embarrassing, i probably just need to get over it and tell myself "hey, this doctor sees people like you every day, dont be shy, there is nothing to be ashamed of".
I'd love to become a more healthy and happy person and be a positive influence on my gf's life, not someone who makes her feel worried or miserable.
Thanks so much for the advice and kind words anon, this really helped a lot. I'm super glad that you are feeling better too, much love.

No. 337858

>>337838
Okay firstly, congrats on making the decision to change.

How does alcohol help you work anon, are you in a stressful environment? Is there anything you could do to help lower your stress levels? If you're working from home maybe you could organise a system where you take regular breaks and go for a walk during your lunch break. What could you change in your environment to make yourself more comfortable (focus on things you can change, not things you can't)? I used to always laugh at people who were seriously into yoga/meditation but it actually does help (or it helped me to sleep better and lower my stress levels anyway). I'd recommend going to a counselor or some kind of support group who could help you manage stress as well as encouraging you to stay sober. It takes a lot of courage to go to these things but I promise that you'll come out of a session feeling so good.

If you've gotten into some kind of habit, do you crave a drink when you pass the fridge? Maybe you should look into alcohol-free drinks which don't taste exactly the same but they are lower in calories and they might help you to satisfy the urge and trick your brain into thinking it's the same thing (especially in the early stages, they cost almost the same as real alcohol so you'd eventually have to ween yourself off of them too since you want to save money). If you could replace the habit with something healthier (like tea of coffee), you could keep yourself hydrated which help with the bloating. Even if you could get to a stage where you drink coffee or alcohol-free drinks half of the time you'd reach for alcohol, that's still 50% less than what you're drinking now and would be an improvement but it depends on whether you'd prefer to slowly change or go cold turkey and only you know which would work for your personality.

Anyway, good luck anon. I'll be thinking of you.

No. 337859

>>337854
Passion and drive are fallible. You need discipline to drive passion and ambition, not the other way around. You need to take responsibility for yourself and your actions and make yourself do things and try things and learn things.
Just to clarify, I'm not pretending I'm perfect in this regard at all. I'm anorexic for the same reasons- extremely low motivation and very apathetic and insecure; starving myself is a) easy and b) socially rewarding (its reinforced every time someone compliments me for my body or how thin I am, which is often). It's so easy to just buy into it and play the game of femininity dress up because its rewarding! It makes you feel good, people are nicer too you! But it is HOLLOW. We are young (I'm assuming), our bodies are resilient and have the greatest capacity for strength. Our minds are sharp and quick to learn. Why waste all that potential on throwing away money for validation? Everyone is worth so much more than that, capable of so much more than that. It's hard, and might not be as immediately socially rewarding, and requires a lot of discipline and grit, but in the end would you rather spend your youth perfecting your "look" for photographs and social media and have that be your legacy, or creating a portfolio of art, climbing mountains, learning to throw pots or speak Chinese or play piano or build a boat?
I am in the same hole you are. The first step is realising it's not up to some divine, vague notion of "drive" or "passion", it's about willpower. Art is what I want to achieve, so my goal is to force myself to study drawing for at least an hour a day. Some days I get ten minutes, some days I don't even get out of bed or pick up a pencil, but I always try from scratch again the next day. I work really hard to remind myself that this is my action of creating meaning and finding worth in what I am capable of and in the world around me, not in my appearance and how acceptable or attractive I am to others. It is so, so hard. But you have to do it, and do it, and do it, every day. Learn to simultaneously not make excuses for yourself but also not beat yourself up when you slip up your discipline. You are in the process of building the story of your life and the memories and relics you will look back on in old age. You have to move.
Sorry for ranting. I just see so many of my female friends wasting their youth on their appearance when they could be learning and doing so much with that time and money they invest and it makes me sad and angry that they feel so downtrodden that they can only feel worthwhile in the context of how they look. I feel sad and angry because I am one of them and fighting it is every day.

No. 337860

>>337844
I'm trying. I've been okay about my appearance but there is a guy I like and who likes me back. I know what he looks like and he's my type, but I'm scared to show pictures of myself bc I feel ugly. That's what's flared up my anxieties. Thank you though, I know that that's a silly reason to be hating on myself but I'm so painfully shy. I'll try harder to focus on the things you've mentioned here because they are pertinent.

>>337852
Thank you for this. I do enjoy watching makeup tutorials, so I guess I'll have to practice. It's just hard rn because the cold weather is messing with my skin and making it super dry so I'm trying to not put too many chemicals on my skin.

No. 337867

>>337858
ah, my work environment is pretty much as relaxed as it could be- I work in software design/development, so im working at home pretty much half the week. Even when I do go in, my colleagues are very nice and mostly quite reserved, so I feel pretty at ease, I can wear casual clothing and so on. I guess the problem is, working is pretty boring, so if im home alone I might think "ah, lets just have 1 small glass of vodka while I work"…and then, by the evening when I finished, it turns into half a bottle.
But that makes me consider that maybe I should go into work and do my work on-site more often, since I cant drink there and also I'm less likely to be bored if I have someone to talk to.
I already drink a lot of coffee, but I would very much like to get back into the habit of chugging green tea 24/7, so I think i'll buy some of those nice floral or fruit flavoured ones to encourage myself to drink more.
I also enjoy alcohol-free beer and diet soda very much, but I try not to indulge too often. I guess it would be better than drinking alcohol if I want a treat, though.
Thanks so much for the helpful advice and motivation anon, you've been really helpful and given me a lot of great ideas to consider, I really, really appreciate it.

No. 337871

File: 1544536838410.png (1.64 MB, 978x1007, 3ayqpt6khoy01.png)

Those anons were not me, I didn't reply at all after that post. I chose to do so yesterday instead of today but because my luck is nonexistent someone saw me lying on the train tracks. Oh well, it was a good try.

No. 337872

>>337871
Glad you're still with us Racoon-chan.

No. 337873

>>337867
You can do it!

Alcohol can really fuck up a person's life in the long run. My father is an alcoholic. In the beginning it wasn't so bad, but steadily over time it rotted his brain and turned him into a horrible person. Who he has become is not at all like the good and funny man he once was, and last year our entire family had no choice but to cut him out of our lives after several years of trying to help him.

Not only is it painful for everyone close to you to lose you bit by bit over time, but you might end up losing them as well. And they would be right to cut you off, which is the worst part.

You're probably young enough to stop this before it even comes close to that. Best of luck to you!

No. 337887

Love how my ex says he wants to stay friends except he never messages first because he's "sooo busy" except when I message him he replies instantly. He also claims to almost never be on instagram for the same reason so he can't accept my request yet lo and behold he liked some 18 year old's instagram video that he goes to the gym with. Lmao now I'm glad he's an ex, he was literally never able to tell the truth or communicate properly.

No. 337912

>>337838
It takes a long time of abusing alcohol to get there, but in addition to all of this, there's peripheral neuropathy. It has really decreased my father's quality of life.

>Signs and symptoms of peripheral neuropathy might include:

>Gradual onset of numbness, prickling or tingling in your feet or hands, which can spread upward into your legs and arms
>Sharp, jabbing, throbbing, freezing or burning pain
>Extreme sensitivity to touch
>Lack of coordination and falling
>Muscle weakness or paralysis if motor nerves are affected
>Heat intolerance and altered sweating
>Bowel, bladder or digestive problems
>Changes in blood pressure, causing dizziness or lightheadedness

Good luck, anon, hopefully you can turn things around. I know people who haven't touched a drop in decades.

No. 337915

>>337887
stop feeling entitled to his company and you'll probably feel better.

No. 337921

>>337887
Sounds like you're not quite over him anon. I don't think being friends with a guy who can't be assed to reciprocate any attention is a friendship worth having. Distance yourself, and let him chase you if you're valued. If he doesn't, then that's proof of where you stand.

No. 337937

>>337915
I don't feel entitled to it, but he's putting in 0 effort an just lies a lot in general. And no, it's not like I message him daily, it's more like once a month, if even that

>>337921
I'm not 100% over it but also don't care as much about him. Been a shitty day so this just made me mad so I had to vent. You're right tho, I'll stop putting in effort.

No. 337957

>>334378
Your in an expat group. It makes sense for black people to need a place to vent because they deal with racist shit when traveling. Be in their shoes for once.

No. 337958

I'm not in the mood for Christmas this year. I feel too depressed to be around family.

No. 337971

>>337871
Maybe you won't believe this or maybe it doesn't mean anything to you, but I'm glad. I was the first who brought up how traumatizing it is for conducters and then kept thinking "What if…?"
What did those people who saw you say? Where are you now?

No. 337975


No. 338007

File: 1544553453210.jpeg (52.53 KB, 480x480, 5BFA38DF-BC48-4D30-9DDF-B2A8D6…)

I have a friend whose friend (we know each other, have talked but aren’t really close enough to consider us friends) is the epitome of a transtrender and it’s so fucking annoying.

Like, she constantly talks about how dysphoric she is but then proceeds to buy long haired wigs to cosplay almost exclusively female characters, wears make up, talk about her female body parts, has sex with her boyfriend as normal, and so on.
She’s now at the 5th attempt found a therapists that’s willing to start HRT. I know this is probably fairly evil but I can’t wait to see how it’ll make her look even worse.
But at the same time I’m not at all looking forward to constantly read about how her body is changing. Then again, looking forward to the point she’s starting to realize she isn’t trans, but just retarded. Even though she’d never admit that because being just a boyish looking/dressing bisexual girl isn’t specuhl enough.

No. 338015

>>338007
I've met SO many girls like this. They harbor a huge amount of internalized misogyny and are very self-conscious about their femininity (due to all the negative things associated with it such as sexual harassment, being seen as weak) which is why they dress boy-like and have "dysphoria" regarding their gender. When they get to cosplay as girl characters they can be someone else and dress up girly-like without any social expectation because they're playing a character instead of having to express their femininity as themselves. It's so sad to see girls succumb to this disease instead of growing a healthy self-image, they're willing to go as far as to mutilate their body to escape the social stigma of how they feel being woman is supposed to be like.

in before "boys can be girly too and gender expression doesn't invalidate my masculinity uwu!!!!"

No. 338033

>>338015
Funniest part is how they tend to be super passionate about feminism etc but they‘ll start screaming ‚fucking TERF!!!‘ (also love the ,you don’t need dysphoria to be trans’ trope) before you can even think about confronting them about their issues.

No. 338039

A little over a year ago I cut off my ex best friend because she was racist. I mostly don't regret that but I feel bad because she was my normie friend I could talk about things like makeup, gossip, and partying with. I wish I had another girl like that in my life.

No. 338042

I AM LOSING MY TEETH, I AM SO SCARED OF DENTISTS IVE THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING MYSELF BEFORE SEEING ONE.
My teeth are decaying so hard. FML.

No. 338045

Successful people who contribute to society have a right to feel good about themselves and proud of what they do. I'm sorry that I don't find your job at McDonalds and your "art" very interesting and would rather hang around someone with ambition and talent. Do I think highly of myself? Yeah, because I scrapped and fought to get where I am and I deserve to. Being talked down to by privileged assholes who waste their parents money and tell me I'm the egotistical one because I'm proud of the fact that I help save lives? You're damn right I am, it's an amazing feeling. It's what I wanted to do my whole life, even growing up in the hell I did. I'm sorry that you never had to miss a meal and that your parents weren't abusive to you and you had a tragically normal childhood, stop projecting your lack of ambition and pride on to me, kthanx. Dealing with it from men is one thing, but other women as well? Infuriating.

Also, people need to stop expecting doctors and nurses to be huggy touchy feely bleeding hearts. Do you have any idea what we see on the daily, and how much of it is caused by your idiocy? And stop thinking we're going to let you die to steal your organs, that literally will never happen.

Tl;dr stop trying to bring down people who are satisfied with their lives just because you're a loser, and stop expecting nurses to be your mommies.

No. 338047

>>338045
you keep on being proud anon. well deserved.

No. 338049

>>338042
Same anon.
I've had this really bad throbbing pain in my jaw for a few days now and I know that I have to go see a dentist after something gets infected soon and they'll probably just pull everything out and idk i'm probably gonna either kill myself over this or die of blood poisoning or some shit.

How bad are yours atm?

No. 338054

>>338045
I mean it's great to take pride in what you do, but I think belittling people because they don't live up to your standards is kinda cunty.

No. 338061

>>338045
>bitching about people who work at McDonald's

Yeah, alright. No offense, but every person I know who looks down on minimum wage workers would have a FIT if someone wasn't around to fix em hot fries and a shake.

It's true that not every person in society is going to contribute "meaningful" innovations, but you've got to admit that the people who fix your food, babysit your kids, clean your public bathrooms, and drive your Ubers are contributing to services that make society convenient and civil. While they don't deserve high praise and mansions, they have a place in our society just like you do.
If you can't respect that, then I don't think you're being very insightful.

No. 338064

>>338049
really awful, although I think it's a genetic thing, but my bullimia and being at lowest point of life and not taking care of it ruined it. I had a big infection which made my mouth swollen, it was so painful I had to be on Narcotics. I also have decay on my front tooth, like it's a gap. 99% of my mollars have cavities and are most likely dead.
I tried going to dentist but I ran away from the office.

No. 338071

>>338045
Are you American? I can see why people call you privileged, you sound it. Sounds like you were able to afford going to university (even if you're currently in debt) meanwhile, there's people who can't afford to go at all….ever. That's a major reason why there are adults stuck in food and retail. Be grateful for what you have and that you had help along the way.

No. 338080

>>338045
>iM a nURSe!!!!!

calm down sharon

No. 338162

File: 1544568735263.jpg (28.97 KB, 620x379, e8wii.jpg)

>>337971
I felt guilty knowing I could traumatise a conductor, but the wish to die was too big. The man who pushed me off the tracks was very helpful and I'm thankful for him. I'm at home after spending the night at the hospital. They are sending me to this outpatient clinic.

>>337872
Thank you! I'm thankful for all you guyses words of advice.

Back to farming now. Thankya farmers.

No. 338173

>>338061

That's fine and all if you're happy being a McDonald's worker or a maid or whatever, just don't shit on me because I get paid more because I had the ambition and put in the time and effort. I'm speaking specifically of a weird phenomena I've ruin into among privileged upper middle class assholes who made shitty choices and now don't live the same lifestyle they feel they're entitled to, who try to drag me down because I'm not in my "proper place" and had clawed my way out of hell and am satisfied with my life.

In general, I don't understand the hatred directed at those who are happy and satisfied with what they do. It's like being depressed and lacking any ambition/dreams is the "cool" thing now. It can go the other way as well, you're right; I work with one doctor who can't understand why his brother is happy being poor and teaching yoga and flipping burgers in Maui, no matter how many times I try to explain it.

No. 338178

>>338080

Medical resident, boo. Although you sound like the exact kind of disrespectful retard who treats nurses/orderlies/all the people who work to save your ass like shit, even though you'd be dead without them. I bet you believe in hollistics and the "pharmacuticals are ebulll :(" meme too.

No. 338182

File: 1544570303003.gif (5.11 MB, 2300x1618, EFD263D5-B2B4-4255-856D-81C4D0…)

My whole childhood I used to draw imaginary worlds. I would read Harry Potter and dream about someday leaving everything behind and go to hogwarts. I would construct dream worlds that I would enter when I slept. I made characters in that dream world that I grew to love and feel safe with.

Nowadays I just watch YouTube all day. I rewatch videos of certain people because they me feel safe and I love them. Hearing their voice makes me feel so calm and make me forget the real world. I prefer this escapism to real life.

Lately, I’ve been noticing that my escapisms might have made my real life become meaningless. I barely study anymore although I used to be a top student. I don’t draw at all even though I used to have potential. I just don’t find any interest in real world activities when I can just skip some classss and lay in my bed and not move an inch all day. Just escape from my problems.

I know this mindset is bad for me in the long run and I don’t know what to do. The more I lose control of my life the more I escape. It’s a never ending cycle.

No. 338185

>>338178
>thinking chemicals in a lab with horrific side effects are good for you
>falling for the capitalist meme
I'm not even hollistic, but your shit is stupid.

No. 338191

i'm spending new years completely alone and isolated in my tiny dorm. again. my mom rather wants to spend christmas with my half brother, her new husband & his daughter - and i'm not allowed to spend it with them. the rest of my close relatives are dead, or people i have 0 contact with.

the only reason for why i can't spend it with them, is because her husband of 6 months doesn't like me. who the fuck lets their suicidal daughter spend a family holiday (new year's is a family holiday in my country) alone? to make matters worse, the only "adult" i was close to growing up passed away on new years last year. this stuff makes me sick to my stomach. i feel so alone, i can't believe my family just dumped me like this.

No. 338198

>>338178
i have a MSW and worked as a CNA as an undergrad but nice try sharon. you sound like an egotistical nutjob.

No. 338200

I'm just feelin sad. I went through a horrible breakup a couple of months ago with the person I thought I would end up with. He was the first person I really met when I moved to a new city, and I made all of my friends here through him. Now that we broke up, I don't have any friends here anymore, turns out they were all his. I feel guilty about still being sad about it, and like an unlikeable loser for not having any friends anymore. I'm just trying to keep my head down and power through until I can move out of this city, but I still get so sad sometimes, especially since it's the holiday season now. Everything feels so cold and lonely.

No. 338204

File: 1544572695002.gif (680.09 KB, 200x133, 329A42C6-115E-4246-9D96-CB280D…)

Hey retail and customer service workers, you work hard and deserve as much respect as any human being. Keep it up! We’d all be lost without you

No. 338208

File: 1544573765180.png (156.68 KB, 530x528, tumblr_oxp110oSYR1r0kdoeo1_128…)

>>331705

Having a dumbass typical munchie disease is killing me

I was diagnosed w fibromyalgia about two years ago and im having a terrible time right now
I can barely do day to day tasks yet i try to push myself to do them
Having my family treat me like i am a useless piece of garbage is so painful when im already doing my hardest to try to keep up and i still feel like i am fake
like i could be doing better
yet last time i tried to push my limit i almost fainted
Usually im better than this but these last two months have been unbearable

No. 338213

>>338204
especially around this time of the year. bless u service industry workers

No. 338215

>>338208
Hey I'm sorry anon, I feel you. I've had it too since I was a child and I've done everything I can to treat it and cope with it but it's still awful sometimes especially because you can never bring it up without people thinking you're a munchie. Having family not understand or believe you when it's very evidently real and something you suffer from constantly is the worst. It's easy to say this and really difficult in reality but keep on trying to remember that you are legitimately doing your best which is actually a lot more effort than those around you are putting in anyway. Your sanity and the limits of your physical health shouldn't have to be on the line for you to feel okay with your effort level. I hope your situation gets easier for you asap

No. 338229

A few months ago someone I really cared about died and now most of my days is just me being anxious about death and the afterlife. I'm terrified of it; I don't want to lose my friends and family. I know this is something stupid since there is no way of escaping death but I really can't help myself. I've lost motivation and just a reason to wake up since in the end we'll just die. My main concern is afterlife, not knowing what will happen… I am religious but I am doubting everything. I don't want everything to end or to reincarnate. It terrifies me. I constantly ask myself, Is life just an endless cycle? Is everything we do insignificant because in the end we'll just end up restarting or simply disappearing?
I don't really care about the answers to be honest. I just want peace.

No. 338241

I hope everyone in this thread who’s having a hard time right now has a happy holiday season.

No. 338262

I feel so rubbish. I went on a night out with my friends, and it was good. My friends are currently trying to hook me up so I mentioned a guy at the bar who my friend was chatting to was cute, so he spoke to him for me. He came back over after a few minutes and told me he thought I was "alright". Alright. Like…it feels so silly to be upset over something like that, but I am. I already feel fucking undesirable as it is. I wish my friend had just said the guy had a gf or something, I'd rather have not known he'd described me as "alright". It's just made me feel even more dysmorphic and like I don't look like Instagram girls. It feels so pathetic to whine about, but it really knocked my confidence and upset me :/

No. 338273

>>338229
It sounds like you're having an existential crisis anon.

I had one a while back, I never really got over it. I just keep myself distracted from the void with a bucket list mentality, cause there's so much cool shit I've always to do/see/etc. Assuming that this one life is all I've got, I suppose I don't really have enough time to be sad about the things I can't change.

Lol I don't even have enough time for all of my hopes and dreams.

No. 338275

i recently started fucking a guy who's really hot and i feel like a fat whale in comparison and i'm honestly surprised he doesn't go soft when we fuck. i hate myself but at least i have extra incentive to work on not looking like a dumpster fire.

No. 338276

>>338229
>Is everything we do insignificant because in the end we'll just end up restarting or simply disappearing?

Chances are that the end is just that, the end. Everything you do, relatively speaking, probably IS fairly insignificant. This is not cause for despair, in fact it's all the more reason to pursue joy. Your life is just a blip in time, so why not pack as much positivity into it as you can? Love yourself and those around you, and take on all of the risk that entails because you only get one go. Don't throw yourself blindly into hedonism and selfish pleasure, though. Even if it's certain you will die, you cannot remove every trace of your existence. You prove this yourself, with your memories of the one you lost; even after death their existence continues. So live your life with the knowledge that every touch, every smile casts ripples forward in time for long after you yourself have passed. Now smile!

No. 338300

>>338241 You too, anon! ♥

No. 338302

My dad and stepmom divorced so my dad moved in with me, I’m underweight and my stepmom thinks I have a disease(she thinks this is why I’m so thin)so she doesn’t want her children around me. My siblings sometimes stay the night but she makes a big deal about them sleeping in my bed because she doesn’t want them to catch whatever disease she believes I have. This doesn’t make any logical sense because let’s say there is some mysterious skinny bitch disease they could catch from me…couldn’t they catch this disease sittting in the same seat or chair as me?its crazy that I’m being treated like I’m quarantined patient in a house I pay half the bills in kek

No. 338303

File: 1544594718563.jpg (61.48 KB, 600x450, 1532979471480.jpg)

Even though so much time has already passed I absolutely cannot move past this break up and I'm actually getting worse as time goes on. I don't have any interest in/motivation to do anything anymore and life seems so dull.

No. 338304

>>338303
You're emotionally attached to super Sonico and porkchop? They're not real, anon.

It'll be ok.

No. 338306

>>338302
it's probably why your dad got divorced lol. she sounds delusional.

No. 338307

>>338306
She’s been going around telling people I have hiv etc sense I was a child. At this point I’m bored of it. If she doesn’t want her kids to come over I literally don’t care. If it’s that big a deal idk why they can’t just change the sheets.

No. 338308

Some BPD girl I have been off and on friends with found my social media again, even after blocking her on near to everything.
It's been an off and on friendship for over 10 years now.
She would lie to me and hurt me everytime, has stolen things from me, I tried so hard to distance myself and she has so many accounts on insta and facebook.

She always comes back into my life and I always give her what she wants until she fucks me over again.
Partially it's because she gives me a sob story and partially because I'm lonely. Last time I saw her, she borrowed a heap of cash and paid back not even a quarter of it and then ghosted me. Now she's back to liking my stuff so I have blocked her, but I'm just waiting for her to get angry at this and start posting my number places or do the usual shit she does in these situations.

I honestly try to be a good friend and a lot of my old friend group was toxic. They would make fun of my looks and how much money I make (I work a minimum wage job) She was the only one that was nice to me, but she was too intense and thought I hated her if I wanted time to myself or if I had to work. Then she would sabotage the relationship by stealing from me or lying about something weird.

She's obsessed with relationships and would ditch me once she found a partner.

I am trying not to be a victim here, I know I am a stupid doormat, but she manipulates me everytime.
I feel very sad when people cry and she genuinely made me worry for her.

Anyway, I'm continuing to block her and stick by my guns, but every couple of years she pops up with a new account I get mixed feelings of anger and sadness and I wish I could just shake her by the shoulders and say THIS IS WHY PEOPLE DON'T LIKE YOU. I feel sorry for her because she tries desperately to fit in and tries too hard and I can't tell if she's mentally ill and sad or if she's a full blown sociopath and this is a game for her. Either way, I hope she doesn't read here.

Everytime she pops into my head I get extremely upset that people can be this cruel, but I also blame myself for forgiving the behaviour.

No. 338312

>>338178
Nurses and doctor are batshit.

No. 338332

i've known this girl for over a decade as the one into fandom shit, celebrities, making gifs and edits in photoshop, and posting them on tumblr. she was very into documenting her life on the internet as well.
>at one point she was an ana-chan. she had a "secret" thinspo tumblr account that was easy to find since it was her twitter username at one point.
>after a few months, our friend group found out she was posting nudes on r/gonewild while staying at a different friend's house.
>after that, she tried being a popular vine account by narrating her life in third person.
>announces she's pansexual
she kind of fell of the internet while she was in college, but came back after half a year with a whole new fandom tumblr.
>diagnosed herself as autistic. REEEEEEEs whenever somebody is against self diagnosing.
>was a koreaboo for a hot 4 months.
>announces she's nonbinary.
after this, she ended up having to go to the hospital due to an allergic reaction. this is when it goes all downhill.
>claims she's now chronically ill. jumps on the chronically ill train by making a blog. follows dozens of well known munchies on instagram in under a day.
>any listing of the word autistic on all her social media profiles vanishes. #proudspoonie
>makes 30 instagram stories a day talking about her chronic illness. 25% of the time she ends up crying at some point.
>updates whenever she's in the hospital to do various amounts of testing. once did a facebook livestream while staying overnight at the hospital.
>re-announces she's nonbinary 3 times in one day, making sure her "abusive" dad sees it.
>starts tagging her photos #transgender promptly after going through the #transgender tag on instagram and liking 20 photos.
>announces she might start HRT or get top surgery at some point in the future. her boyfriend approves. #proudenby
honestly i think all this spanned over a 7 year period. the last 3 happened within this month KEK i can't wait for some more fresh milk

No. 338340

>>338308

First off, don't blame yourself. It's called emotional manipulation / abuse. It's not your fault she's mentally ill and not seeking help.

Second off, her behavior is alarming and could escalate to her quickly weasling back into your life/stealing from you, and just being a shitty person.

Third off, it is not your job, not your responsibility, not your problem to fix her. Period. You owe her nothing. The only thing you should do is keep blocking her and move on. Additionally, if she is really posting your personal info online and you can get proof of that WITHOUT putting yourself in a dangerous position, start collecting evidence so you can contact police in case it escalates further.

Okay, so beyond that, which we can summarize as "Keep her the fuck out of your life or she'll come back and abuse you again", I have some other advice for you, anon.

Do you still work at your job? Are you in school? What are your hobbies (besides lolcow farm, of course)? Do you feel comfortable that, for example, the people at your job might be a good, non-toxic group to casually hang out with? (NOTE- I'm assuming you work retail or hospitality of some sort. People in those fields professionally are almost universally bad news. I'm a professional restaurant manager and I would never ever associate with a good 90% of my employees because their baggage is so bad and toxic. But, that does depend on the company and the culture, too, something to think about) Do you have family or other relatives in your life?

No. 338352

>>338007
Lol many of the more obvious effects of T like balding, body hair growth, voice drop etc are irreversible, once she realises she's not going to magically transform into a hairless tall yaoi bishie I bet that she'll either double down and develop actual mental illness or de transition and live with actual dysphoria over the effects of T for the rest of her life. So fucking stupid.

No. 338358

File: 1544613101636.jpg (55.98 KB, 540x408, IJmJR6QUfLA.jpg)

I've got prescribed 8 different medications somehow. 3 of them are basically placebo (shitty russian medical care, don't ask) and I'm not going to take them. The 5 that are left don't help me with what I came to the doctors with at all, but help other issues I have.
I feel like I eat more pills than I do food.
I don't mind pills, but I'm not ill enough to need that many pills. I feel like I'm an old person in a hospice with the amount of drugs I have to take to be barely functional and it still doesn't solve all of my problems.
I just want to be able to sleep and my psychiatrist won't prescribe me sleeping pills and none of the over the counter options work at all. I've literally tried them all. Every technique to fall asleep too.
Everything is shitty and I want to just cold turkey quit all the meds, but I know it's a bad idea.

No. 338360

Sometimes my height makes me want to an hero
I thought it would get better once I'm an adult, but I guess not. Why do short people have to be so cruel? I'm not some kind of monster, it's not my fault that I was born like this

No. 338361

Whenever I make fun of someone's appearance I am afraid I will be karma cursed and develop the feature I made fun of. I know that doesn't make any sense, but I can't shake off the paranoia. Every time I laugh at Shuwu I can almost feel my eyes getting beadier and shoulders broader.

No. 338364

I saw my new dr yesterday and she seemed convinced I was unhappy beyond having depression, I insisted that I'm fine other than struggling sometimes but now that I think about it maybe I really am unhappy. I'm a stay at home wife with no friends in a new country. I'm very introverted so I don't really like hanging out with people but I miss having internet friends. My current timezone conflicts so much with my old one I can't talk to my old friends much online. I feel very isolated but when I try to get involved with other hobbies or meet ups I feel like I can't really get along with locals because the culture is different and I'm slow to pick up on it.

I almost want to go back but I have nothing left there so there's no point, but at least I knew how to function there.

No. 338417

File: 1544623559618.png (19.32 KB, 915x69, looool.png)

Finding out that Frances Dana Baker Gage literally edited Sojourner Truth's iconic speech to sound as uneducated, stereotypical and "black slave mammy" tier as possible has really killed my mood.
I mean, what the actual fuck? How do you go from the left to the right and not feel like racist, shameful garbage the entire time?
I can't even describe how angry I would be if I spoke up to a whole room full of people more powerful than me, only to have some retard purposely change my words into ghetto babble 12 years later, then have their shitty, illiterate-sounding caricature affixed to me forever. Holy hell.

No. 338421

>>338417
Holy shit how retarded is this man? This "babble" is meant for FICTIONAL STORIES. No one writes a fucking speech with accents.

No. 338423

I haven't had sex in a few days bc bf had the flu, now he's well but I got sick instead. Neither of us likes to do the deed with faces & lungs full of snot. I'll probably start my period right when I'm getting better and I don't like having sex then bc orgasms make my cramps worse so this is gonna take even longer.

I know a 1-2 weeks of not having sex is not bad it's just frustrating since he's right there and I have a pretty high libido but I can't do anything about it. I wouldn't mind this at all if it was due to him being away or something.

No. 338425

>>338173
I totally see where you’re coming from.

There’s this girl I went to High School with. Middle class family, grew up in the suburbs, had very supportive parents etc.
She chose to take screen writing classes in college and also took classes at Second City. She later moved to New York where she worked at the NBC store and took UCB classes. She put so much money into something that was destined to fail from day one.
She obviously had to move back in with her parents a few years ago. Now she’s 28, still living with her parents and works in a dog shelter while crying about how miserable she is.

And this is the kind of stuff I have zero understanding for either. You had all means to become a successful, functioning member of society but instead chose to chase an immature dream of making it in the show biz.

I would kill to have had those chances.

No. 338426

>>338423
Feel you.
My bf is currently out of town every second week and timing just isn’t on our side.
The first week he was here I got sick, second week he did, third week I was on my period and next time he’ll be here I’ll be out of town. So we didn’t have sex for like 2 months and I’m dying. We did do stuff via video chat but I miss the real thing.

Can’t wait for this to be over.

No. 338427

My ex is a horrible person leading me on under the fact we both will still have a future together
Yet here she is hooking up with some dude and telling him she loves him while lying to my face
Ugh wish I could just tell her they’re both trash who deserve each other but she’s expecting that
Just need to fuck someone fast and get over her

No. 338444

>>338340
Thanks kind anon.

I moved alot as a kid a didn't have solid friend groups.

In highschool I moved into a nice area when my dad got a better job and I made friends with a few different groups but never felt like I was in, more like a tagalong.

Anyway, I moved out at 18 and continued to work after finishing highschool fulltime, while the toxic friends I mentioned were able to live at home and study and live rent free. Almost all of them have law degrees which only one of them used. The rest work in retail like me. The only difference is they work in the city at high end clothing stores and I work in a walmart type store.
I do the best I can at my job and have had employee of the month a couple of times and I earn okay money, but they make fun of me for wearing a daggy uniform. I would love to study but it's difficult to support myself but I have been looking at unis. Because I was the only one that didn't go to uni and have a habit of wearing old scruffy things until they wear out I guess they make jokes a lot about it. I also have a bit of a rough family so I became a joke to the group.
One of them was an extremely catty gay guy who was able to make everything seem so fun but say something and take your self esteem away like that. I've always been skinny like a beanpole but he would goad me all the time about my weight and looks in a guise of being bitchy and playful but it has definitely fucked my self esteem and changed my eating habits.

I sometimes go from feelings of wanting them all back (it's been years, I'm in my late 20s now) because we had fun times and I'm lonely, to feelings of anger and sadness. Like how I feel about this girl.

Sorry for writing a sob story, just trying to give some context.
Thankyou for listening.

No. 338448

>>338426
Ow man that hurts to read. I've been to few LDRs in the past and the fucked up timing of things sucks so much in those, esp since the other person is there but you can't do anything and you know they're gonna be away soon again. I hope you get dicked down good next time you see him anon.

No. 338478

>>338360
Anon, don't feel that insecure about being tall. Who even cares honestly, don't let those little bitches make you think otherwise. It's like wanting to an hero just because you were born with blue eyes instead of brown eyes. Litteraly, no one really cares. So don't think so highly of stupid things people say ♥

No. 338525

i am kicking myself. i couldn't even get my shit together enough to go on a free vacation (first world problem, i know) with my bf's family. i took the time off work but in the end could not commit to the trip because my anxiety has been out of control and i can't imagine how i would act without having my apartment to look forward to at the end of the day. i feel like a pathetic mess and those 10 days alone over christmas are going to fucking suck.

at least i don't have to stress about someone taking care of my cats

No. 338553

>>338360
Yeah I'm sure its just short people picking on you constantly, as if anyone really gives a shit about your height. Get over yourself, it's all in your head.

No. 338562

File: 1544659100090.jpg (174.74 KB, 1024x797, 3ee.jpg)

I'm becoming retarded. I spent all morning laughing out loud about the "Ridley is too big" meme instead of preparing for my exam

No. 338573

I think I finally have to be more realistic about a career in art and be more reasonable. I don’t think I’m ready to quit drawing and illustrating completely yet but I don’t think I’ll ever have the support or motivation to compete in a art career.

No. 338574

>>338525
I understand your anxiety, Anon. Please don’t beat yourself up about not meeting your own expectations.
Consider treating yourself well and try to enjoy your Christmas as much as you possibly can.

No. 338575

>>338427
You deserve better, Anon. And she doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of seeing you upset.
I don’t recommend rushing into a new relationship but rather take time to improve you relationship with yourself. Explore your local city by yourself. Take in the world around you and see how it benefits from you being in it.

No. 338576

>>338364
Getting to know a new place takes time. I know being alone is debilitating but allow yourself to keep trying.
Maybe try taking a class or do some exercise outside of your home. Start small. Like small walks and such.
You’re not alone with your feelings but you have so much potential to find people that make you feel wanted. Just provide them to yourself and your positivity.

No. 338578

File: 1544662467579.jpg (31.07 KB, 500x281, large.jpg)

My heart is phisically hurting way more than I can bare, it's completely psychosomatic since I have no heart condition, and I have no idea what to do.
Everything is awful, all i ever do is disappoint people and fuck everything up, I wish I was never born or could become someone else, everything just keeps getting worse ;_;

No. 338580

>>338361
Karma is questionable but the way you feel is just simple guilt. You have a big heart that understands that the judgment of others personal appearance is tearing them down.
Your feelings of becoming ugly is just the result of misplaced negativity.
Try to impead your judgment of others and focus on the positivity in your life.

No. 338583

>>338578
Don’t be so hard on yourself, Anon.
I recommend deep breathing exercises and developing a solid bed time routine.
You aren’t a waste of life and if things keep getting worse there’s always something you can do to cheer yourself up. You’re worth being here. You can do this, Anon!

No. 338598

>>338596
Haram

No. 338626

>>338364
I'm sorry, it's really tough being alone in a new country and dealing with culture shock on top of it. Are you a stay at home wife out of necessity (disability, kids, immigration issues, etc.) or are you able to work? I ask this because maybe you could try getting a part time job - not necessarily taking on a lot of hours/responsibility, but something lowkey and chill like working a few days out of the week at a specialty store related to a hobby of yours, like an art store or whatever. It'd get you out of the house and meeting new people and making friends without the pressure of "hanging out", you just chat while you work. (Plus pocket money, which is never a bad thing lol.)
Whatever ends up happening, I hope you find happiness in your new country eventually! Best of luck.

No. 338650

A good friend of mine mentioned how a mutual friend of ours complained to her about not having a boyfriend. She apparently said something along the lines of, “Even [my name here] has a boyfriend. Why don’t I have one?” I feel offended and quite a bit of contempt toward her now and looked back on how she’s always kind of treated me like I’m some sort of freak. I’m going to have to go to a dinner party tomorrow where she’s going to be there and I don’t know if I can even look her in the eyes after hearing about what she said.

No. 338670

>>338650

Wow, she sounds like a bitch. Take it as a compliment, she's basically admitting that even people she personally detests are more likeable/stable/loveable than her.

No. 338686

I absolutely cannot stand to have my possessions damaged, broken, in any way not perfect. It fills me with constant rage and irritation. Someone scraped the side of my car pretty badly earlier this year, and it then became open season for everyone to scratch and ding it. It literally keeps me up at night and I get snippy talking to people whenever I think of it. It was mine and it was perfect, now it's not.

My boyfriend also frequently damages my things (I know that's bad). At the moment my vape has a few dents in it, my headphone mic's 3.5 jack is bent, and my laptop's wifi card is damaged and needs to be plugged into Ethernet to work. It just fills me with incandescent rage. My laptop was PERFECT, but in the last year I have had to replace the screen twice. It's like it isn't mine anymore. And my fucking phone, from a combination of me dropping it and it being thrown, the home button fell off so I have to use the onscreen keyboard, and there are cracks on the bottom portion.

I care more about my possessions than fucking anything, even myself. I can't stand for my carefully selected items to not be pristine. So sick of being constantly angry about it. Literally REEEEEEE

No. 338692

>>338686
omg i feel. my bf recently messed up a pretty expensive rug i got. cause he was sitting on it when playing vidya even though i told him to sit on a cushion. he ruined the raised shag design in some areas and even though i brushed it out it didn't fix it…

No. 338702

>>338204
thank you! i work a for a party store so this time of year is crazy. i hope you have a good holiday anon!

No. 338721

>>338427
Are you me????? Holy shit. My ex is exactly like this, dating this guy she's constantly telling me she doesn't feel anything for, but she spends so much time with him (that doesn't bother me like its not my business who she spends time with but when she goes from spending a week straight with him to getting me to hang out with her so she can complain that men are soooo shit and she doesn't love him like.. gets on my nerves).
Like I wouldn't care but she keeps me as like a fallback plan, shit literally sucks so much. I'm her "well if there's nothing else".

Also she gave me mad internalised homophobia because of the way she treated me so I can't bear to interact sexually with other women because I feel like a fucking predator. So I can't even fuck someone to get over her.

No. 338726

I am currently studying at a makeup school school. Because it's a private school there are only three other people on the course with me.

We are graduating soon and when I started the school I thought it'd most of all help me with my insecurities regarding my makeup and my skills. I hoped the school could help me build some self confidence and help me start a career within the field.
I feel it's done the exact opposite. Of course it isn't the school's fault in any way - it's in my brain -, but I feel like I'll never be anything and that every thing I do is either just pure shit or technically wrong (or in other words, pure shit).

I can't help but compare myself to the other students. How they've improved and how our teachers praise their work, while all I get is critique. Out of every test we've had I've always had the worst numbers and results and it's so tiring. I feel like shit and like I'll never ever be anything.

I'm tired because this is all I've ever wanted but I feel so worthless and so discouraged right now. I am even more insecure than I was a couple of months ago and I feel I am way too bad at makeup to ask anyone to actually pay for me to do their makeup. I don't know what to do anymore.

No. 338729

>>338364
Im in a similar situation; if you want we could chat?

No. 338732

>>338726
>makeup school
Lmao

No. 338794

>>338732
makeup school school*

No. 338852

I'm tired of working the service industry and want to go back to school but I have no idea what I want to do. I don't want to work with people at all due to being completely scarred from years of retail. I'm interested in biology etc but am terminally bad with math and don't want to be responsible for people's welfare so a medical career is out. I don't want to work an office job either because I like working with my hands and being active, not sit at a desk behind a PC 50 hours a week.

I'm almost 30 and I still have no fucking idea what I want to do with my life …

No. 338879

>>338852
Anon, are you me? I'm in the exact same boat. I'm also going to be 30 in a matter of two years and I still haven't figured out what I want to do.

Retail isn't an option for me either, I have such trauma from interacting with people that I had to neet for a few months after quitting because I had serious trauma, from sexual harassment, fucking stalker, to extremely rude customers. People like to take out all their frustrations and issues on you. Working in retail apparently signals to people that they can abuse you. They probably don't even see them as human.

I don't care about making it big, I want a solitary job away from people. I don't care if I need to get my hands dirty, just let me do something. I have a few hobbies but none that would make a good source of income.

But as I'm getting older, I can see my opportunities narrowing and I need to decide which path I need to take. It's not like 30 is a breakpoint but it does feel like I need to start getting my shit together.

I've been learning to code and doing silly projects for a few years now, but you mentioned that you don't want to spend a lot of time at pc, so I guess that's out of question?

I wanted to study electrical engineer because I like robotics, however going back to school means more years not building a career. I hate this feeling. I have troubles of falling asleep because I keep thinking that I need to fix my life. It sucks.

Sorry for not being helpful, but I just don't know. My friend got a job at a morgue and she's happy with work. Not only is the pay great, but she works decent hours and no one bothers her. Technically you work with people but hey can't complain. I'm still jealous of her. She just walked in and got the job with no experience in that field.

No. 338882

>>338879
Also, I wanted to add that another friend of mine makes jewelry and sells it on etsy.
You said that you liked working with hands so maybe pottery, jewelry, or knitwear would be a good start? It may not be the most reliable income but it is a start.

No. 338886

>>338879
>>338882
Thanks anon, it's nice to know I'm not alone in this boat (I am also 28). I don't want to "waste" time in school when I could be building a career either, but since I have no career to work towards currently I have to make a decision.

I am in a pretty good situation as my partner has a decent job and makes enough to support us, but both of us want to save to buy a house and a car, so I really want to get my shit together so I can contribute to that dream. I wouldn't mind even just working in a hobby shop or pet shop, but no one around me is hiring, and due to relying on public transportation my options are a bit limited.

I actually thought about learning how to make bath bombs and stuff and selling it on etsy. I like doing crafts and I do draw and paint as a hobby. (I've considered going to art school - it's what I wanted to do when I graduated - but it seems pointless as I'm not exceptionally talented nor could I make a career of it.)

The dream would be to get a trainee position where I learn on the job like your friend did, but those don't crop up too often.

No. 338899

>>338852
I have this exact feeling after turning 26 a month ago. All I can say is buckle down, decide what you want quickly, and jump on it. Any free time you have, spend it looking for potential career ideas. Google things. Talk to customers about what they do, maybe? I'm going back to school this summer, myself. 8 years late, but better that than never.

No. 338909

> when I started the school I thought it'd most of all help me with my insecurities regarding my makeup and my skills.

That's a really weird way to pick a profession.

No. 338926

>>338899
>>338886
>>338879
>>338852
same as you guys, but there's NOTHING wrong with not knowing what you want to do at 26, 28, 30, etc and choosing to go back to school late. most things people choose suck, man. i look at most career paths and i'm like "why would you choose this amount of responsibility and have to pay for it?" and for pretty low pay. hell, even like, lawyers, i'd rather make no money than have all their money and that amount of responsibility. going back to school late is honestly the smartest thing to do, especially if you guys live in burgerland. a lot of kids have their parents financial cushion and they waste it, or they just end up $100k down with a degree they don't want to use, etc. for those of us without pre-paid college or parents backing us, it's smart to wait and just take your time rather than just jumping into things the way most people do. most people just choose whatever just to 'get a degree' and aren't in love with it, so we're really not that behind in the grand scheme of things unless we want to envy people that aren't particularly pleased with the path they've chosen (and that's a lot of people tbh).

No. 338927

>>338925
As someone without parents who cant afford to go to school atm, this makes me feel better about being behind in life. Thank you

No. 338934

File: 1544732802150.gif (1.93 MB, 498x296, tenor.gif)

>>338926
but anon, how do i even figure out what i want to do in the first place?

No. 339001

My boss just threatened to fire me because I turn the lights off while im working. I only do it once my coworker leaves for the day for about like an hour. The reason why I do it is because im a weirdo who focuses more in darker environments. But also recently its been getting darker outside much earlier and because I work in a very tiny office and I am alone 50% of the time I get more paranoid. The door to get inside the office has a window but because of daylights savings and the glare from the light, after 3 it gets so dark that I literally cant see outside and have been spooked multiple times by the techs randomly coming in to clock out. Not only that but deliveries come in at all hours and I have been alone with delivery drivers who could easily murder me and literally no one could hear my screams. ther are also salesman who like to park in the street and just walk up at random times too. It just pissed me off that he threatened to fire me over something so trivial. He also yells at me for shit that the techs do wrong because he needs someone to vent to. Before this happened I thought I finally found a job that I enjoyed and I was literally just thinking about how I dont want to move because I dont want to leave such a good job. But i feel like this was god/universe telling me to stop being complacent and take a risk cuz this job clearly wont be here forever.

No. 339003

I don't know what to do. I'm almost 30 and have no education, no job experience, no friends, no skills, no connections, can't drive, never had a relationship…basically a complete failure.

My brother's always been abusive and he fucked my life up so much I still cry thinking about how my life could have been without him. I tried to find a job to save money so I can get away from him but have never been successful. I applied to universities but got rejected everywhere. I tried to upgrade my high school marks to get into uni but, being the retard piece of shit I am, found it massively difficult and incomprehensible. And if I can't even handle high school courses uni is out of the question. Therapy and medication hasn't helped. I considered working holiday, but if I can't even land a crappy MacDonalds job here how will I find a job in another country? I feel like I've exhausted every option and whatever I try is doomed to fail. All I ever want is to be able to live a normal life with jobs and dating and friends but that seems like an impossible dream, especially as years go by. Nothing I do will ever make a difference and nothing will ever change. I'll never escape my family and this rut I'm stuck in. Every year I held on, thinking 'maybe next year will be better' but it just gets worse every year and I can't take it anymore.

I miss being younger. Back then even if I was miserable I still had hopes for a better future. Now I have no future.

No. 339008

>>339003
Tbh if you live at home and don’t have bills there’s really no excuse for you not to save money. Just get a job at McDonald’s or soe ing and don’t say that you can’t becasue you can. After you get a job save every dime you get. Most fast food places pay at least 11 an hr

No. 339013

>>339003
Why dont you start at a community college that literally accepts everyone? It saves you money too because you'll just be taking basics first. 30 is still young, there are 60 year olds attending classes at college. Life doesn't stop at 30.

Also, places like McDonalds will hire you. They hire everyone but seasonal is the worst time to start because your coworkers will think you're just there for a few months and therefore ignore you or treat you like shit. You need to start applying for jobs in the summer, and hopefully you don't settle for mcdonalds or fast food. There's much better food and retail jobs available that accept anybody. Go to the mall, supermarket, warehouses, or work at a restaurant to save up money.

No. 339027

>>339008
>>339013
Thanks anons, but it's really not that easy. I've applied for various positions everywhere from Walmart to MacDonalds to bookstores to chocolate stores to cosmetics stores to restaurants to clothing stores and others many times over over the years and only had two interviews that lead to nowhere. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I think it's the lack of experience at my age. Frankly, I don't know if I'm even capable of holding down a job anymore. These days I can't even get through the day without crying and throwing stuff and wanting to scream. I'm too tired to try anymore.

No. 339028

>>339026
will sound stupid but have you considered lying on your resume about previous experience? obvi not exactly the stuff so they don't expect you to know what's up but like saying you used to work in Wal-Mart when applying to MacDonalds. for jobs like that no one checks reference anyway so it should be alright

No. 339029

>>339026
Lie a little on your resume. A job like McDonald’s won’t ever check for anything like that. You can do it anon. It’s never to late to do any of those things you want to do.

No. 339031

>>339028
oh forgot to mention, maybe consider volunteering someplace for a bit? it will occupy your time, give you a little bit of purpose and you can see put that on your resume/college apps!

No. 339032

>>339027
Like other anons said, you need to lie on your resume then. Whatever job you lie about, look into it a little bit because employers during your interview will ask what types of tasks you did at that job. Someone will take you eventually, you can't be jobless forever. Fake it till you make it and good luck.

No. 339037

>>339031
seconding volunteering, it looks good and doesn't require prior experience usually. even just walking dogs at the humane society or something would work.

No. 339042

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place.

After years of isolation I tried the whole online dating thing. I've made some improvements to myself over the year and was feeling confident. I saw how much men bitch about women on tinder mentioning "no hookups" (because that's what a dating app is, apparently… not looking for actual dating) so I downloaded an alternative app geared towards better conversation. I messaged someone happily for a couple days and he asked me if he wanted to get frozen yogurt. It was a walk-up place with no covered place to sit so when it started pouring rain I offered to sit in my car.
Trying to start a conversation with him was like pulling teeth. He had no interest in talking besides a few mentions of football. No questions from him at all. He didn't look up from his phone for 20 of the 30 minutes we were together. I was so upset that I was basically talking to myself. He tried to kiss me and then told me to drive to his place. I said that's not really what I'm looking for and he didn't say a word, got out, and slammed the car door.

This isn't at all like my shoujo mangas…

No. 339047

>>339042
I'd recommend talking over the phone/mic with anyone you meet online before you actually meet them. It saves you from wasting time and prevents you from getting your hopes up. You can really gauge their personality and whether or not they're a shitter when you hear their voice.

No. 339048

>>338692
Try applying heat from a blowdryer and brushing the fibers up. Might help

No. 339077

I'm a bpdfag and have terrible self esteem and a very introverted personality. I have no friends and I feel so alone all the time. I liked this one person but he is now ghosting me and I'm not entirely sure what I did but I know it's probably because I am annoying or too clingy. I am good at hiding my bpd but it seems like I still drive everyone away eventually. I've made efforts to become beautiful and I have a nice body I think but whenever someone seems into me it almost always comes down to them liking my chest. I'm tired of being lonely and miserable. I'm a virgin at nearly 20 because I'm ridiculously shy and don't want to be objectified. All I want is a boyfriend or at least some friends but I have no one at all. I'm suicidal because of it and honestly I think I'll probably be dead within a few more months.

No. 339083

I'm really not over some fuck I went on a lunch date with 3 months ago who ended up rejecting me afterwards.
We weren't even compatible, and from spotting him around campus his body isn't attractive to me anymore (he's lifting weights). I'm just stuck with the fantasies I had of him back during the first few days at uni and the personality I'd projected onto him.

Hopefully this issue stops recurring if I get an actual boyfriend. I just want a tiny boyfriend to cuddle with.

>>339077
Please don't end your life for current lack of friends + bf anon. I know it's a bpd thing to think in extremes, but just because you have none now doesn't mean this is forever. You're only 20, after all.
Do you have any hobbies? Why not join a group/take some classes centered around them and meet people that way? Or meet people online in discords or something?

It is considerably harder if you're shy, I'll admit. I wish I had advice for that but when it comes down to it all you can do is force yourself into situations until it starts to feel easier.

No. 339159

Being on the internet since I was a child has warped my perspective on sexuality and gender so much. Because of subjecting myself to 4chan and witnessing countless Facebook fap threads, upskirt threads, bathroom camera threads and the likes Ive grown to understand that the act of existing as a woman is seen as sexual to a portion of men. This made me not want to be one, to be seen masculinely and unappealing to men in order to avoid being some in some weirdos spankbank, which is ridiculous. I wish I never would’ve lurked 4chan so much, or at least waited until I was older and could grasp that 4chan is such a small percentage of the population and no way speaks for the majority.

No. 339165

File: 1544773951753.png (447.61 KB, 768x768, 4ef77461b7a274c76068a4c36b1c17…)

i have actual autism with pure-ocd level fixations and i'm obsessed with my boyfriend's ex for some reason

like, she was an abusive rapist, a pedophile and honestly kinda homely but i can't stop stalking her social media for some reason, my boyfriend is very kind to me and in love with me and our relationship is amazing, but my fucking obsessions are like a monkey in my head thrashing around and making me feel insecure and guilty for no reason. hell this relationship is from when my boyfriend was in high school and she was inappropriately older, about 19 and in college. he has more or less completely forgotten about her and i only know her bc he shared with me early on about how he dated a girl with bpd and it was very intense yet awful

i think it's because she had borderline personality disorder and hence their relationship was unusually sexually intense and i am incapable of sexual intensity

my boyfriend makes it clear to me that he is very sexually attracted to me and not disappointed by my low sex drive but nonetheless i feel insecure about the fact that i'm not neurotypical, and thus i feel like i'm "lacking" something that he may have been able to have before. knowing the logical reality that he is charmed by my autism doesn't change my fixation at all

i am also afraid of her trying to harass me or my bf on some level too. when i was cyberstalking her she still had pictures of my boyfriend up from years ago. it was very odd. she moved to the area that my boyfriend lives and wrote weird poems referencing him fairly recently despite her constantly being in relationships.

all these feelings knowing that she was a cunt and abusive makes me feel really guilty too. i'm also really angry at her and i would deck her irl if i wasn't of tiny stature

i saw her on an airplane once when i was going to see my boyfriend and i had weird paranoid obsessions about how it was a "sign" for weeks that i just kept inside and didn't tell anyone about

i just want my brain to let me be free from these fucking fixations and fears. i wish there was some medication i could take that would make these obsessions and my guilt go away.

just, fuck. i talk to my boyfriend about this sometimes because i feel a need to confess my perceived guilt to people a lot as a part of my weird brain but i don't want to wear on his seemingly infinite patience and ruin my own relationship

/blogpost

No. 339174

>>339165
sage to add this post comes off as humblebragging about my relationship and whatnot but that wasn't my intention. i just wanted to talk about my fucked up brain

No. 339224

File: 1544794165108.jpg (545.4 KB, 1080x2244, Screenshot_20181214-125908.jpg)

How is this bullshit any different from the 'letters from Ana/Mia' crap that early 00s anorexics had all over their blogs? Only difference is that this is clearly written from the perspective of a man who sexualises fat women, what a surprise.

No. 339243

File: 1544800246378.jpg (13.46 KB, 739x415, 93d43cfd-92bb-438f-9de7-59045c…)


No. 339250

File: 1544801471297.jpg (20.11 KB, 384x288, gfs_29357_2_1.jpg)

>>339224
yeesh..i mean….everyone has their thing..

No. 339271

>>339224
I found it funny tbh
actually lol'd

No. 339320

>>337443
So we're all in agreement that this behavior is toxic and not even entertaining, can we start calling it out more?

No. 339327

>>339320
Of course not, we get called handmaidens or WKs.

No. 339331

I feel like a failed woman because I don’t have a defined waist. I wear a waist trainer every day and I’m trying to starve myself thinner. I wish I could afford lipo or coolsculpting. I feel like I’ll never be able to keep a man because my body is so gross and manly. I don’t even have nice breasts or an ass, I feel like such a failure and it makes me suicidal. I’m sitting in my bedroom on the verge of tears because my reflection disgusts me so much.

No. 339336

>>339331
anon i feel you so hard. since age 12 i’ve been life destroyingly obsessed with my waist. at thirteen i was considering taking hormones and starting victorian type tightlacing so i could finish puberty with a more feminine bone structure/shape. i’m still doing weird borderline ana type dieting in hopes of it making my waist smaller but i’m afraid my hips will go too and i’ll end up in a worse spot than i started. i wish i was around in the 90s. media then had quite a lot of straight bodied women who were considered attractive. it sucks so hard that the majority of people are wired to think that small waists=attractive no matter your size. being here really doesn’t help either. it seems like every single cow is called a box or a fridge even if their figures are more visible feminine than mine :/.

No. 339339

>>337409
Agreed, nitpicking is super obnoxious and really kills threads. Also I’m pretty sure it’s been acknowledged that farmers can be hypocritical when it comes to looks due to insecurity/jealousy.

No. 339341

>>339336
i was in the celebcow thread and saw arians grandes body called gross and I feel like there’s no hope for me because Ariana is thinner and cuter than I’ll ever be. I’m short and my face is ok (would look better with lip injections and lipo) but there’s no point because my body is grotesque. my body isn’t a full rectangle, but im not a pear either. im more like a small square on top of another bigger square. i have a hip shelf, and violin hips, and physically my waist is very high up on my torso, my arms are flabby, just typing this out makes me want to stab myself im such a gross fucking ugly disgusting pig and it’s embarassing to even try to date because no man will ever want me and I want someone to just kill me and put me out of my misery.

No. 339370

File: 1544822172761.jpg (199.64 KB, 1020x1329, b762911dae86f859764fe1287034e4…)

>>339331
>>339336
>>339341
DYEL? Don't TELL me y'all are giving up before at LEAST hitting 1pl8 for reps. Why make your waist smaller when you can make it RELATIVELY smaller, while SIMULTANEOUSLY increasing FUNCTIONAL STRENGTH. How are you ever going to cast off the YOKE of OPPRESSION when you CAN'T EVEN HIT DEPTH. SQWATZ. AND. OATS. YEAAAAH!!!

No. 339376

File: 1544823006358.gif (1.93 MB, 500x280, 069d9da0-ff95-44a1-8cc6-7f86ba…)

>>339339
It always feels like a scene from EVA. Mindless farmers slowly picking apart a cow instead of delivering real killing blows with insight or wit.
Appearance isn't milky, it's so low level and vapid. The real milk lies within the mind of cows, expressed as their behavior and thoughts. If you put the mind Luna Slater into a physically perfect woman, she would still be a massive cow.

No. 339379

Does anyone else have Bird scooters where they live? Holy shit I am so fucking sick of them, always riding either on the sidewalk or swerving around in the middle of the lane. They keep getting hit by cars which honestly serves them right, fucking idiots. Just ride a fucking bike

No. 339380

So FUCKING SICK of potential employers relying on a credit check to decide whether or not to hire me. This is actually stupid.

No. 339382

File: 1544824181318.jpeg (11.52 KB, 263x192, download.jpeg)

>>339379
…uuuh, I mean even if they were riding a bike do they really have the capacity to obey human traffic laws?

No. 339383

>>337409
>I don't understand how this site is getting both increasingly radfem but also increasingly misogynistic.
I wonder that too. I think a lot of the radfem users stay on ot. I've learned to ignore the nitpicking.

I do wonder if some radfems do like to nitpick here kek. Because a lot of radfems elsewhere uniformly love the idea of landwhale acceptance to spite teh menz.

>>339031
>>339037
Volunteering can be good because it can get you references.

>>339042
You need to have tougher skin and more persistence if you want to do online dating. Everyone will end up bad dates. Just don't take it personally. Also yeah "dating app" is mostly a euphemism.

>>339159
It's not that you browsed 4chan. It seems like you've been browsing /b/ lmao. Why do you care if some rando masturbates to you?

No. 339403

>>339042
I'm sorry anon. That guy was a dickhead and retarded to boot. Seriously, anyone over the age of 12 knows not to be on your phone during a date and not being able to hold a conversation during 1 on 1 bonding time? Cmon. I'm glad he just ended up leaving bc you dodged a bullet.

>>339383
>Why do you care if some rando masturbates to you
Ew, what's wrong with you? You wouldn't feel violated if someone was filming you? It's disrespectful and illegal, for starters. Seek help.

No. 339404

>>339042
That sucks! I had really shitty luck using Tinder and Bumble for a while, but now I've just started blatantly texting "heads up, I'm looking for a relationship and not just to hook up on the first date. If that's not what you're looking for, just let me know, no hard feelings!" It has saved me soooo much time, even though it's kinda awkward.

No. 339407

>>339042
That sucks! I had really shitty luck using Tinder and Bumble for a while, but now I've just started blatantly texting "heads up, I'm looking for a relationship and not just to hook up on the first date. If that's not what you're looking for, just let me know, no hard feelings!" It has saved me soooo much time, even though it's kinda awkward.

No. 339448

File: 1544832849929.jpg (34.76 KB, 499x357, 783aa64f-3254-4e88-a506-37acbf…)

I'm 21 and I've never had sex. I'm not saving myself, never have, but I never got the opportunity to hang around guys much and actually do anything. I want to do it but I don't know how to pick up guys. I guess I'm also scared (diseases, asshole guys). I'm not under the delusion that your first time needs to be amazing or memorable in any way but I'd like it to not suck completely.

No. 339458

>>339448
this might be an unpopular opinion but sex is super overrated unless it's with someone you're really close to and can trust. my first time only felt good because it was with someone i really loved and trusted. when u are genuinely attracted to and in love with someone it makes it have way less weird guilt and pain than it normally would be with hookups or whatever. not trying to tell u to save it solely to be a virgin or whatever, but waiting does come with a lot of upsides.

No. 339461

>>339458
I agree. Out of four partners, my enjoyment of sex is 10/10 with a partner I finally love and trust. Previous partners put me off from sex entirely despite being able to orgasm easily because they were mostly relationships for lust and for the sake of not being alone. Sex with your best friend is top tier.

No. 339462

>>339458
Couldnt have said it better myself. This whole rush to have sex is a sad trope. Just do it with who you want to . And I will say, it's always better with someone you care about, even if it isn't okay the first time, it's 100 percent better than being with some rando hook up.

No. 339519

>>339042
Men are so retarded. He really thinks he can ignore you entirely and then get sex?

I was thinking these apps should be called "Free Sex" because that's how 98% of guys approach it.

No. 339527

I don't mind people who do fundraisers for things, I really don't, but I get sick of seeing the same people on tumblr constantly begging for money for every little fucking thing. killbenedictcumberbatch/smoochuu is one of the worst offenders, she is never not begging for money, I see a donation post going around for her at least once a week. How are these people who make donation posts every week not embarrassed????

No. 339539

the more my mother gives me unsolicited advice and jabbing criticism for making mistakes the more and more i hate myself. she now gives me flat out demands to do things her way, and when i don't, she twists it into thinking i just made the dumbest decision ever. she makes me feel so incompetent and stupid. i used to be able to tell her everything, and now i refuse to tell her anything thats going on in my life, and i live with this bitch. she used to be my rock and someone i could look up to but its taken a severe nose dive in recent years. i was forced to move back in with her after leaving my ex and not having any family or friends around to move in with. im almost at my savings goal to move out i just need a few more thousand but i don't know anyone out of state who can help me move so its just me. she's offering to help me move but i told her that i don't want her help. the lease we share is up this coming february and i can't wait to get the fuck away from her.

also she's a disgusting cheapskate who isn't even poor (and didn't grow up poor) who thinks going to the dollar store every night instead of the decent grocery store is "saving money" and called me wanting to buy a container of homemade crackers that were five fucking dollars a "big investment". she always asks me how much i spend on certain things and i have to lie about getting it on a good deal to get her off my back, but then again, she'll find a way where she "could of gotten it cheaper at blah blah". it truly makes me want to throw up.

No. 339541

>>339403
I'm not talking about filming you dipshit. I'm talking about people masturbating to your public facebook pictures.

>>339519
Maybe you should be more picky about who you match with.

No. 339542

>>339539
>mom let’s you live with her rent free and you can save all your money

You just sound spoiled tbh lol

No. 339544

>>339541
I would spend hours every night weeding through guys, some of them just hide their perverted side until you meet irl.

No. 339545

>>339542

i pay half the rent, bills, and my own personal bills on top it, nice try.

No. 339546

>>339545
NTA but then fucking move out.

No. 339571

>>339546
seriously. if you're already going half in just get a roommate.

No. 339604

I think everyone would be better off without me and maybe nobody would even know if I just ceased to exist. maybe nobody would even care or think “hey I haven’t seen her in a while, where’d she go?” until I’m already gone for good. I wish I didn’t grow up to hate myself so much. I wish I could love myself. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to exist anymore. Sometimes it feels like I’m already so much in everyone’s peripheral that they probably wouldn’t even notice if I blinked out of existence. and like honestly who cares? I wouldn’t want to hang out with me either, I wouldn’t want to live with me either



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