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File: 1537500888253.png (428.62 KB, 540x538, 44254647.png)

No. 298392

Last thread: >>283640

Let it all out.

No. 298395

has anyone else been really abused and acted out in relationships because of it? i dont think female abuse survivors get enough understanding from their partners.

mine just called off our engagement and broke up with me after chasing me with marriage proposals for years because i acted crazy during the start of our relationship 4 fucking years ago, when i told him i was very reluctant to be with him because i would ruin everything and would act crazy because i was still recovering from lifelong abuse and have issues.

what sucks is that over the past 4 years that we've been together, and the time that we've been engaged, i started to finally think this might be the one thing in my life that works out. still, i'm being punished, basically, for the repercussions of being abused, even though i am better now and have been better for 3 years.

No. 298433


Hey anon I just fucked up a (admittedly casual but ACTUALLY NORMAL) relationship because of my stupid traumatised brain. The fact I got into a more normal relationship after 3 years of a bpd pedophile abusing me feels like progress, that someone more on the spectrum of normal liked me (until I freaked out and defensively yelled/acted like a whore (my fave defensive mechanism! And he didn’t give me another chance. Fair enough. If you’re normal apparently you have self respect and can let people go when they make you feel like shit. I have no idea how the fuck you do that. I hold onto abuse more than anything just because it feels better than the neglect I felt all through my childhood. But I feel closer to normal every time I pick myself up, like I’m more adjusted to stable and securely attached people. I feel you and you’re not alone and you made me feel less alone, ty.

No. 298437

i have and it took me years, like 10 years, to find someone kind and empathetic enough to stick with me despite all the bs i put him through.

i'm sorry you and OP had to go through that, i've been there, and only recently has someone come along that will push through it.

No. 298443

Do you mean that he’s called off the engagement and left you purely because of shit that happened 4 years ago? Because if so you’re not at fault here. He chose to pursue you knowing this shit, chose to stay with you for 4 years and chose to propose. Unless you’ve done something wrong since then, or you’ve kept secrets that have only just come to light, you’re not to blame. Unless I’m misunderstanding something it sounds like he’s got cold feet and is too stubborn to admit he’s the one with the problem, so now he’s bringing up irrelevant shit as if you’re to blame. Don’t let him make you feel bad if you’ve done nothing wrong

I’ve been through relationship abuse and it’s fucked up my subsequent relationships. My first serious boyfriend was kind of atypically abusive, like he’d constantly play with my feelings, break up with me only to come back, be controlling about what I ate and drank under the guise of being concerned about my health. He never shouted at me, insulted me or hit me so I didn’t realise it was abuse until long after the relationship ended. I became emotionally needy because he’d made me feel guilty if my life didn’t revolve around him, so when I met another guy I was intense. At first I was kind of chill as I was rebounding and acting like I didn’t give a fuck about relationships, but soon I became obsessed with this new guy and it didn’t help that he was a needy person too and acted the same way/encouraged me. After the honeymoon period ended this new guy started lashing out at me. After a while I started working on myself, trying to be less dependent so he’d stop but even when I got my behaviour under control it seemed like the damage had been done and he started outright abusing me. After months of me keeping myself in check he’d still finish work and call me to shout at me and tell me I was a cunt and a waste of life. This would often go on for hours with me crying, apologising and begging him to stop. If I refused to engage the argument would just continue the next day alongside a rant about how worried he’d been about me and how I was manipulative for putting the phone down. This would happen at least once or twice a week, at points it’d be almost every day.

It’s hard because I don’t know if it’s my fucked up brain making excuses for him or if this never would have happened if I’d not started the relationship with so much baggage. Aside from the abuse, we connected really well and initially we got on great. I guess if I hadn’t been fucked up I would have left if/when he’d turned nasty so it wouldn’t have happened anyway

But yeah anon, if he’s not letting go of something he should be over at this point that’s on him and not you. Don’t let yourself be blamed when you’ve done so well to recover

No. 298445

This is odd. To call off engagement 4 years after the fact. I bet there's some other reason why he wanted to call off engagement, and he came up with this bullshit as an excuse.

No. 298449

I feel super pathetic about this but I don't have anyone to rant or talk to, my online boyfriend from a few month broke up with me last night after being super distant and cold to me for the past week, I'm aware online dating is hard and usually seen as stupid but he was going to come here during Christmas and agreed to joining me on a family vacation next year.

His reason for dumping me is because he has feelings for another girl irl, so I guess I can't blame him. I don't have anyone besides him so I can't even cry and vent to someone, I've barely slept and I don't know what to do. I haven't cried yet so I don't know if I was expecting this to happen or I'm just so used to not being good enough for anyone

No. 298454

File: 1537516671863.jpg (98.03 KB, 960x698, heart that's meant for you.jpg)

thank you, anon. that really helps. thankfully it was only a casual relationship, but i hope he did it nicely, or at least tried to help you through it? if you 'acted like a whore' but it was purely out of self-sabotage or bad coping mechanisms, a good person would've given you another chance, or at least tried to help you through and drop these habits. i'm sorry, anon. i wish i could give you a hug.

same to you, anon. thank you so much for the encouraging words. i'm very happy to hear you have someone in your life that understands and is willing to stick around. it's an especially uncommon trait in men, ugh.

anon, that is so horrible. it's him. nothing you've done could warrant that behavior. nothing. i hate men. anyone you meet in future needs to be understanding of these relationships and be willing to work through them with you. sending many hugs to you and the anons above!

yes, i acted out 4 years ago. it was at the beginning of our relationship when i really didn't take him seriously, but my bad behavior lasted quite a while, though i never cheated or anything like that. i just wasn't able to be myself and acted like an unstable, untrustworthy asshole out of fear of abandonment and fear of being abused, especially because he had been my friend for years, and i always wanted him but felt i never could have him because of my issues.

he tried to leave me when i was still acting out and i tried my best to stop and i got help and he decided to stay and i am doing so well and have done so well for the past 3+ years, but he has never been the same and he has always seemed kind of traumatized by it. he is very sensitive and i get that, but at the same time, he's not particularly sensitive about how lifelong abuse and rape has affected me. it's very unfortunate because i wasn't myself and he didn't get to know me in a romantic context, but now that's his first impression of me, and i've ruined everything.

even though he stayed, he has always seemed still scared of me and resentful of me. i get it, but he has also always never seemed to care much for my safety or care about me much as a person, or treated my abuse like it was real, and i think that definitely affected the way i treated him and how seriously i took our relationship in those first months. recently he had been really pushing how wonderful everything is, and everything was so perfect, but out of nowhere (for me, i guess not for him), he realized he can't trust me/be with me. i dunno, i just feel like, if i found a damaged boy that i knew for as long as and as well as he knows me, i would give anything and go to the ends of the earth to be by his side. it just sucks. it really pisses me off because he worked for like, 3 years before we dated, non stop, to try to convince me that he'd always be there for me no matter what and nothing could make him leave, etc.

i don't think so, anon. for most men, i'd agree, but he called me evil multiple times for what i'd done at the beginning of our relationship and i think i've just ruined my image of myself in his head and he's just super autismal.

No. 298456

Anon I wish i could give you a hug too. Sounds like you have grown a lot and sacrificed a lot of vulnerability for thisguy and that sounds like a bullshit reaction on his part. You deserve someone who wants to heal and grow with you and I hope you’ll find it. My guy totally led me on and wasn’t being completely honest about what he wanted. That hurt because I knew he cared, but he didn’t want to get hurt himself. When I say acting like a whore I mean I get really sexual as an anxiety thing because I hope someone wont leave me if I have sex with them. I think he didn’t have respect for that and when I apologised he was super dismissive.. I think he cared but he switched himself off because he was scared of me hurting him. I wish I could text him again but if he’s dismissive again it will break me. You’re strong anon.

No. 298470

I replied all to an email to the entire office today because I was stupid and replying on my phone. Coworker friend who was with me when it happened: "No one will care, don't think about it too much"
When I get back to the office the cunty manager (not mine luckily): "hihi you replied all. Why did you reply all? This is so funny!"
Later when two other people from my department and her team get back, cunty manager brings it up again: "Haha, she replied all to the email"
Team guy: "Haha, I know. Why did you do this?"
Like I know I replied to all but it's not as if that had never happened to another human being on earth so can you stop mentioning it?!

No. 298471

thank you, anon. i'm much, much, much improved, i just wish he was able to see that. all of that just for having slept with HIM too quickly? anon, that's not even a real problem. like, if he's not understanding of that, he's real trash, tbqh. maybe it wasn't ideal for him, but to switch himself off to you and end the relationship over it, wtf?

No. 298475

I'm sorry anon. imo you absolutely CAN blame him for that, I think it's a very adult point of view not to, although I think you might be viewing it that way because of poor self-worth. Don't put yourself down, there will be a guy who loves you and most/if not all the things that make you think you're "not good enough" would be nonsense to him. I will say though that I think strong relationships are much more reliably made in real life, particularly with people who start as friends. Online relationships are often relationships of circumstance where if one of those circumstances changes (new people becoming romantically available, all sorts of things really) everything can easily go to shit since "you're lonely, like that game too, and are acceptably attractive? Let's be in a relationship" and other similar logic makes for a mediocre foundation. And you never really know each other, your view of them is only built on whatever they've opted to show you. The response to that of course is "I actually do though, we talked for X months/years, bla bla bla", but it's the truth and everone who gets burned realizes it over time which helps soothe a lot of the hurt. I just felt like typing what I typed and I hope I didn't bum you out with my bullshit, I'm an introverted loser and online relationships are the only thing open to me if I'm being honest, and tbh even though I know better I might even end up in one at some point because noone likes to feel alone. If you can't tell I had a bad experience and am projecting horribly, I liked my post a lot more when I started working on it an hour ago and it was just me telling you not to cry and that I hope you feel better soon

No. 298489

I think I'll be able to salvage my life before I'm 30. If I don't fuck things up this year, I'll finally have my degree and not feel so fucking worthless.
I wans't sure I would be able to do it. It's a pretty low bar but I feel kind of proud of myself.

No. 298500

Unless you replied to a whole bunch of clients (the oldest mistake in the the book) stop worrying, it's just someone starting office drama.

No. 298501

I never do anything productive. I just lay in my own mess and I have no initiative to do anything. I'm always tired and everything is a hustle for me.

No. 298502

Get help depri-chan. Its never to late for that.

No. 298514

Sometimes people lightly tease someone when they want to be closer to them. Idk if that helps but that's a way you could frame it positively.

No. 298543

i feel dumb for even posting this but i have no one to talk to about it so lol

i recently found out my irl husbando has a secret child he lied to me about. he has no contact with the kid or the mother anymore but idk it just hurts so bad that he would lie to me about something like that?? i saw a picture of the kid too and they look exactly like him which just somehow makes it even worse.

it’s got me so fucked up and i really wish i never would’ve found out lmao

No. 298544

So he's a deadbeat dad who can't take ownership. Unless it was a one night stand that he never knew a kid came out of or some crazy ex gf who stole semen from a thrown away condom to stick up her snatch. There's really no excuse.

No. 298545

from what i gathered it was kind of a combination of both so not exactly a deadbeat situation imo

No. 298546

My boyfriend told me 6 months into our relationship he had a child with an older woman when he was 19 who already had another child with a dad that didn't want to be involved. I dumped him soon after he really made no effort to support his son and would moan about having to pay for his uniform. My Dad left my mum when I was 10 and his kid was 7 at the time and you understand everything. Yes the mum is difficult but she has never stopped him taking the child out, it's usually his son doesn't want to see him. Be weary about hidden kids it's usually the dad being a cunt

No. 298547

I recently found out my dad had a secret child with this mentally ill woman who lived in our house during my parents break up. It looks exactly like my dad. It's fucked up cos he was such a good dad to me and my siblings. My mum was always too sick to cook or clean so he did everything plus work 40+ hours a week but he ignores this child.

I thought my Dad was different but he's just like the rest. Very depressing.

No. 298551

i feel like im cheating. i feel like im doing something wrong. im in a ldr relationship with my bf and he gets worried when i dont reply to him but the truth is i just feel tired sometimes. when i dont respond within 2 minutes i feel like he is suspicious of me but he never accused me of cheating or anything like that, he just feels anxious sometimes but i guess thats normal and it happens to me as well. i wish i could feel normal. i feel like im a cheater even though im not even doing anything questionable. actually, i dont have any friends besides him.

No. 298555

I had to break up with a guy and at first I tried to keep things civil and support him through it, but he would constantly turn on me and beg me to come back aggressively. Eventually I had to tell him I couldn't do it anymore and blocked him everywhere, went non-contact.

Months later and this hasn't stopped the guy harassing me. He's threatening to involve my family and I'm terrified of where it's going to go next.

No. 298562

How are you supposed to show love to someone without looking like a fool? I want to do more, but it always feels not good enough. Relationships are hard.

No. 298569

I want to start an IG, if only to give my depressed, unmotivated self a reason to go out, take/edit photos as a creative outlet, and keep a sort of personal reference for my style.
The only thing is that I don't know what aesthetic to go for. I'm extremely eclectic. I could just not care and post whatever I want, but building a following will be harder without a clear direction (and having followers would be pretty encouraging), especially since I'm too private to try and hook people in by sharing my life and building an overarching persona. I'm scared that if I only pick one style, I'll have trouble committing because I'm too eclectic with color choice, fashion, editing style, etc.

No. 298572

I'm in a LDR that's turning into that episode of black mirror where they can replay memories from recordings. Every time something goes wrong I find myself spending hours going over every horrible thing he's said to me in the year and a half we've been together and crying myself to sleep, even if the original issue wasn't even close to an issue.
I know you guys think LDRs are a joke considering some of you sperging in the last thread about how love is fake if they're not within 10 miles of you so you can fuck them whenever you want so I'm not really expecting anyone to take me seriously lol.
I want to delete everything so I don't feel the urge to go through them but explaining that I'm doing that to begin with is incredibly stupid. He's usually really nice and helpful but the few times he's been mad at me made me shut down for weeks, and every time I re-read arguments I feel exactly how I did when it first happened. It's so stupid. It doesn't effect our relationship much, I don't tell him "remember that time you did this or that lol", I'd still be paranoid things like that would happen again even without looking everything over. But it's almost every night, I look at them and think "well if he thinks this of me I should just kill myself" "Why do I bother if he thinks so lowly of me". Why the fuck am I like this lol

No. 298573

i feel you anon. I'm also in an LDR and sometimes there are days when I just don't want to talk to my bf, but can't say that because it would make him anxious and start a fight that i don't have energy for. you're not doing anything wrong by needing a little time for yourself.

No. 298576

>Why the fuck am I like this lol
More like, why the fuck does he say things that are so awful they make you want to kill yourself? The ability to argue without resorting to cruel words intended to hurt someone is important, if he lacks that then the problem is HIM, not you being affected by it.

No. 298586

if ur romantic penpal is being such a piece of shit that the things he says shuts you down for weeks or makes you think you should kill yourself then you should drop him

No. 298614

i just started my dream job and it's my first week. i'm making loads of stupid mistakes and letting everyone down and i'm really scared this is going to sour my relationships there as i know i'm coming off incompetent and stupid but i just can't seem to stop making stupid mistakes.
for example i missed a really important time-sensitive email this morning because it went into my junk folder (stupid fucking gmail) and i've only just gotten around to responding. i apologised and everything but it's not good enough.
i'm getting nightmares over this shit, i kept waking up last night in a cold sweat after dreaming i'd been fired.

i don't know what to do i'm crying all the time and i'm really scared. but i can't say anything to my mentor in case it makes me look even less competent. i never say the right thing and i always do embarrassing shit at work too. i hate myself.

No. 298617

Imagine the drama if they were in a real relationship

No. 298627

i really hate this attitude. i've been in both and the more intimate and meaningful relationships i've had, by far, have been ldrs.

most people in irl are assumed to have more intimate 'real' relationships when they don't necessarily.

No. 298636

it's a false intimacy though, and it comes from there not being any real repercussions to online confessions. have you been in a relationship where you lived with your partner, to compare?

No. 298642

>it's a false intimacy though, and it comes from there not being any real repercussions to online confessions
i get that ldrs can be founded on less shaky ground because there's more of an incentive to be untrustworthy and obviously easier to hide shit and disappear, but that doesn't mean that all of them are like that or that it's inherent to all ldrs. it just means that's a major risk. people can ghost or lie and often do in irl relationships all of the time.

>have you been in a relationship where you lived with your partner, to compare?

i have. i don't know how that's so much more intimate than being with someone for most of your free time online or whatever when you're unable to be together. what's the difference? you can't sniff their farts through nightly or all day videocall?

No. 298646

LDRs aren't real. End of story. Unless you can move to where the other person lives fairly quickly, you'll never make a real connection with someone online because you're only interacting with them in idealized situations. The fact that some of you fight while in long distance only relationships means you or they are really unstable.

No. 298649

NTA and I won't argue with you, but there's literal science that explains the difference in impact being around someone IRL has. LDRs have been around since people could send mail, and there's tons of evidence as to why they do not work usually.

No. 298656

if your ldr worked, you'd still be in the relationship :^)

No. 298677

>Comparing relationships that can employ the use of modern technology to snail mail and limited transport

No. 298688

I'm saying that there's evidence cause they've existed for centuries. And btw, LDRs actually worked better in past centuries because despite the "snail mail" the people who had time to write romantic letters were usually wealthy and moved in together.

No. 298689

you should get an accountability buddy who has similar issues

No. 298717

Unless you plan on never living together, an ldr isn't an accurate representation of how the two of you will get along. You're not trying to manage any day-to-day issues, or actually build a life together. It's just playing pretend online; it's literally something that 14 year olds do and then grow out of.

No. 298731

I'm not that anon, but I agree. I've said in these threads before, LDRs are only for adults with careers who can take their relationship seriously.

No. 298750

Anon, that's directly in disagreement with what the anon you're responding to is saying…

No. 298757

How, she's saying it's just playing house online, I'm saying the only people who can make it even seem real are those who can move in together and see if it's valid.

No. 298759

Nta but being an adult with a career makes me question even more why someone would want to keep an LDR status on a meaningful relationship for more than a year.
Another scenario is maybe a husband and wife had to go LDR for temporary career purposes.

Other than that, why? An adult with a career ought to know whether they want to get serious within a pretty reasonable time frame. Not 3 years apart.

No. 298762

Well that's what I meant, adults with careers can be in LDRs for a short period of time, cause they can easily get a job and move to stop it from being LDR. You shouldn't be in an online relationship for more than a few months. Obviously moving in together doesn't need to happen, but you can make a decision to move your career nearer to them.

Most people in LDRs end up just moving with no job or plan or anything and being screwed.

No. 298770

File: 1537583833864.jpg (18.01 KB, 428x469, 1532459253979.jpg)

It sucks how hard it is to maintain friendships or make new ones once you leave college. I pretty much spend my weekends doing nothing. The few friends still remaining (who haven't moved away) are so difficult to corral into actually doing anything.

Has anyone here had luck creating an entirely new social group?

No. 298771

the main problem for me is that i'm busy when other people are free, and they're free when i'm fucking busy. even if it's not because of work schedules, it's because of daily obligations and chores and personal affairs. the one good thing about school days was that aside from the one off family event for something, everyone as busy and not busy at approximately the same times.

No. 298774

just wanted to say you're not alone and i miss having/making friends

No. 298782

I no longer see anyone I met in college, but I'm still hanging out with friends from Jr High and high school. I think spending all those formative years together creates a stronger bond.

It's hard for me to make friends at work because a lot of them are older and married with their own families. I'm in a bit of a limbo.

Semi-related, but does anyone else here not really have a "best friend"? I have people that I hang out with, but I wouldn't consider us to be emotionally close. Even with my high school friends I'm no longer like… venting to them or telling them secrets. Idk.

No. 298784

It’s easy to be infatuated with someone you never see, touch, or share experiences with. It’s half imagination.

No. 298797

File: 1537590662668.png (24.64 KB, 228x239, 6DA636EA-8043-4C2E-A607-07270B…)

I think my antidepressant might have permanently ruined my eyesight.

Fuck everything.

No. 298798

Nothing to add except I'm in the same boat. It's a mix between "real" relationship and LDR, because of my work.
It's like 95% of the time everything is well and I've never met someone like him, truly. But there were a few times where he acted like a real douche, that I can count on one hand, but I keep replaying them whenever I'm in a downward spiral.

To be fair I try to re focus and realize it's me who keep bringing up past issues mentally and that I was probably harsh too sometimes, except my brain probably gives itself a pass and forget about those. And when I say he acted like a douche, it was never stuff like cheating, insults or physical abuse.
I probably have some undiagnosed anxiety issues and I can't wait to have enough to start therapy.

No. 298799

I hate my abandonment issues, I'm constantly scared if my boyfriend doesn't reply within a few hours he's gonna ghost me or is purposely avoiding me
anytime people don't reply to me I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt, to the point where I get physically sick and thought I did something wrong, it's gotten to a point where I will shake and pull my hair out if I feel like he's going to ghost me

No. 298805

my friend is broke and asked me for help with rent (£200). I feel bad because I can afford it, but I want to spend it on myself.
tfw can't say no to anyone

No. 298815


Been in two LDR and they were the most toxic messes of relationship I've ever had the displeasure of experiencing. OP, drop it and find someone nearby. No need to waste your time especially since you feel like a piece of shit. The false intimacy thing is real. Not to mention they probably would drop you for a real piece of ass in a minute, if they have not already.

No. 298816

Say no anon. Don’t do it.

No. 298828

God fucking damn if you're gonna play d&d at least fucking be in character, stop fucking around with other people ooc while we're trying to play.
Fucking around with the board and laughing to yourself, moving around the minis. Just fucking stop playing if you're so bored with the game. It's insulting to the DM and insulting to all of us who are trying to get in character.
Constantly calling my character a thot literally for the sole fact that she's a female is fucking aggravating and I'm about 2 seconds away from quitting the entire campaign.

No. 298834

how can one get into D&D
I really like the roleplaying and figure aspect but idk where to start

No. 298836

I happened to know my friends were into it and had a group and they added me to it. We play using Tabletop Simulator– It's really good for long distance games and/or bad schedules. It's fucking amazing when you get it all set up, 3D minis, maps, completely custom games depending on what you wanna add. There's a reddit and you can maybe find local groups, or groups who use TTS.

I had fun the first time we played, but the second time was less fun, third even less, and now on the fourth I'm so fucking bored I'm on lolcow while they argue OOC on shit.

I'd like to take my character from this campaign and move to one with people who know how to play and don't spend 2hrs of a session memeing.

No. 298839

do not!
if you do, you accept that you'll not get it back and you set a precedent.
it's easy. just say "i'm sorry, i'm hard up myself, what about your family?"

No. 298843

I just broke up with a guy, gave him too many chances fucked myself over. Where do you find hot men that aren't obsessed with porn? I can't keep dating clichés the shit they think is normal is astounding and their respect for woman is 0, I'm pretty sure they even sexualised female family members. I think it's offensive to want to be gay because men suck, I'm trying to come to terms with being a childless spinster by choice I can't be dealing with men anymore.

No. 298856

I hate that there's depraved shit on the internet. I hate that there's degenerates at all. I hate humans. I hate that people can hurt animals. I hate that people then videotape/take pictures and fucking gloat on the internet about it
I was an idiot and read on the current drama in the fucking disgusting furry community and feel so sick. I wish there was an undo button or an eraser for my mind so I can get all that shit out of my memories. I honestly envy normies who don't know about these things or run into it through their communities. I wonder if that's why they seem so happy. They're not on the internet 24/7 and see/read about disgusting shit like this.

No. 298858

>the current drama in the fucking disgusting furry community

No. 298872

File: 1537626124586.gif (212.06 KB, 606x249, me.gif)

Novel tier vent, apologies. I need to get so much off my chest.

With the urging from my supervisor who's known about my relationship problems, I broke up with my bf of nearly 5 years a few days ago. She said she saw no joy in me anymore, and while I was good at my job I've changed; was stressed all the time, and gained a lot of weight. I probably wouldn't have done it had he not been inconsiderate and pissed me off after work. Then again, the exact problem is that he is so inconsiderate and ungrateful and that's why I'm angry and unhappy all the time. He just doesn't care, the only thing he cares about is his own comfort.

The other day I had a late and busy night at work. Two hours before my shift ended he texted me to let me know he was hanging out with a friend and asked me to come if I got out early. I didn't get out early, but after work I texted to ask if he was still there and he said 'two minutes out.' Ok? I thought it meant they went and got food or something and they were two minutes from getting back. It didn't say he was or wasn't there, and why even send such a cryptic message anyway? He's a bad communicator. I put my phone down and start driving. I get there and the lights are off at friend's house, so I look at my phone again and he texted me minutes after the first and said "at home." Wtf, so I asked him if he was at home or not. He made me drive out there for nothing.

I got home and as per usual there was a sink full of dirty dishes. The kitchen was gross, so basically there were tons of little things he could've done to make my life easier and make me a little happier. How fucking pathetic is it that I would've been happy if he would have came out, greeted me, and told me he did one teensy weensy chore? But no, that never happens. I have to ask or nag like a mom. I'm. so. fucking. tired. of having to ask, beg, and nag at another fucking adult to keep tidy their own dwellings and belongings. This conversation has been had so many times and evidently he never learnt shit from them. He was in the bedroom being idle and playing a game on his phone. Because why do any work if I'll be the fucktart cuckquean who does it?

So I started hate-washing the dishes. I was very upset and started to cry because once again I was the one doing all the domestic work that men take for granted while I work fucking full time to boot. This is "equality," "50/50," "fairness," "progressivism," I thought? I muttered under my breath that I hated him, but maybe in my hysterics I said it more loudly than I thought because at that point he came out. He tried to hug me (typical manipulation tactic, butter me up) but that stuff has long stopped working on me. It annoyed me, so I shouted at him for having not done shit. For hanging out with friends instead of coming home to help with anything.
I told him we were over then and there.

Then he had the balls to turn this around to make it about finances. It's the only card he's ever got to play.
Let me digress about finances for a few paragraphs:

See, he pays rent. So he treats our relationship like a tit for tat contract.
Because he pays rent and pays for things sometimes, he feels it means he shouldn't have to any domestic work. It's horse shit!
Theoretically I could give him money for rent but I'm trying to pay down my college loan and credit cards, the grocery bill is also pretty expensive because I cook nice things for us. I hate my job and get out when I can so sometimes my paycheck isn't ideal. I could give him rent money, it would just make my stress worse–not like he cares. Yet I would feel even more cucked when I'd have to do shit at home by myself. He's asking for me to pay him rent, work my 40, and come home to more domestic labor. Not a fair deal, sorry.
Besides rent and his own personal debts, I pay utilities, streaming services, etc. He doesn't drive, I have my car. Everything in the apartment including the televisions, bed, furniture, dishware/cookware, and even his fancy ps4 pro is all shit I bought and is mine. He has no possessions besides his piles of dirty clothes and a few games. No assets. Nothing of use.

He's salty and bitter about paying rent because he works shitty food service jobs and wonders why money sucks. He hates how I have paid vacation time off right now because I have a real job, but he even admits he's unwilling to do what I do. He refuses to get a real job (re: requiring to show up to work on the dot, working a full 8 hours, and be subject to rules and regulations). He bitches about his job but his job is easy, the pay is worth what he does imo–and what he does is nothing. Every day it's "Wah I got no customers!" which means he didn't really work then, hm? Folded some knives and forks maybe? Had 3 hours of nothing to do? Meanwhile I'm at my job working back to back, I never have a minute to breathe.

Also, he's bad with his money but blames me about the rent.
He defers his student loan all the time because he doesn't file income based repayment so the monthly is too high for him to meet. He has more student debt than I do (I have up to my master's) despite him not having a single degree. Not even an associates. He's irresponsible.

Since he doesn't have a car, he Ubers to work. He's too proud anymore to bike. So his Uber bill a month is usually $300-400. A few months back he whined about how Uber was increasing their charges, so he demanded I pay him money. I told him I would buy him a motorized scooter for $600 because it's bullshit that he's paying $400/month for Uber!! He didn't want the scooter because he's too proud to be seen on one. But it shut him up because he knew he had no right to bitch at me about money when he's giving Uber $400 per month.
About him not having a car: He lived with me and my parents rent-free for a year after I graduated and we moved to the area. The agreement was he had to save up for a car. Well, he didn't like living with my parents (because he was expected to do chores) so he lied to me and them about having money. He admitted later he didn't and I stupidly covered for him. In the two years that have passed, he's never saved for a car. He's 28 years old.
Told my dad if he comes at me about rent again he should charge the backed rent my ex didn't pay while he lived with us.

4-5 times a week he goes out with friends or to the bar for karaoke. So, if he's so strapped for cash, he shouldn't be doing that. But he does because he's selfish and wants to have fun.
You think I got out with my girlfriends? Fuck no. Never. Unless he invites me out with his friends, but sometimes that doesn't even work out clearly!

Sorry, so anyway, he brings up finances to imply I'm a fucking mooch who brings nothing to the table and shouldn't I be so grateful he pays rent? And how dare I be angry at him when he does dishes twice a month when I nag him to do it?

I hollered that he was a stupid cunt who's bad with money and I didn't wanna be with him anymore.
He told me to leave then.
I replied he was a moron because my name is on the lease and I can't just abandon the property without my name being off it. And oh, all the shit in the apartment is mine and there's no way I'm moving out without my own stuff.
He kept saying "I DON'T NEED THIS!" and would walk away. I called him a coward who didn't want to face the truth.

I started to sob uncontrollably after the standoff. He did nothing, had a dry face. He didn't even look all that upset, maybe just preoccupied with thinking about what he's gonna do now that I'm going to leave. He slept on the floor with his laptop while I cried all night.

Did I mention how I took him on a dream vacation internationally a couple weeks ago? The reason why I suffer through my job is because I get flight passes to anywhere in the world. I got us first class tickets on an international flight. He treated me awful during the trip btw, making a face whenever I wanted to do something that involved spending the money we saved up for that purpose. Only cared about himself and his good time the whole trip.
I feel like billing him the $6,000 it would have cost him to buy the plane ticket himself if he wants to lord rent over my head. He has no gratitude for what I did for us.

I'm at my parent's house for the weekend because I'm too disgusted to look at him. I cry and shake, I'm angry and distraught. I've wasted five years of my life with this self-centered person. I overlooked and forgave his behaviors because I'm kind and want to keep the peace. I projected and gave him chances because I'm the type to take criticism and change when I'm given fair chances. But not him. He just wants to do and take what he wants with no consequences.

I tried to update my social media status to single but sites like fb didn't publish it. So no one knows we've broken up and he's being hush online. He hasn't changed his status. Maybe he thinks all this will blow over me, but it's not going to.
Worst of all…is that because he's sociable and nice to his friends, they will stan for him and treat me like a mooch bitch because that's what he's going to tell them. They don't know the full story like what I've typed here. And hey, they'll say, why didnt ya just leave sooner? Although I'm sure if I dumped him sooner they would've said But why didnt ya give him a chance? Damned if I do or don't. Fuck it.
He's gonna get his rent money so long as I have to be his roommate. But he will get no more car rides from me. No more cooked meals. He wants to use my cookware? He can ask my permission and it will be washed after he uses it. The bed's mine, he can buy a cot or air mattress. He will no longer get my flight passes, which is funny because he wanted to go visit his home in a different state and now he will have to buy a plane ticket for a couple hundred dollars.

He can go fuck himself. What a sorry fucking ingrate and if only I hadn't felt so trapped and fallen for manipulation tactics I would have broken up sooner. I wonder where my life would be right now if I had a guy who valued me, had his own car, and had a real career? Someone who would've elevated me instead of dragging me down and verbally beating me about rent.

My girlfriends have wonderful boyfriends and spouses.
One of my girlfriends hasn't worked in a year due to an illness, and even before that she worked as a barista. Her fiance gives her a full ride and he never bitches.
A different friend currently isn't employed but her bf just bought them a new house, I'm going to go hang out with her and see the new place.
I attended a different friend's wedding last year, she was married after four years of dating and they have a new house together.

This pants shitting bastard would never have done that for me like those REAL men. Never. One of my sweet girlfriends even PM'd him the engagement rings I'd been looking at, kind of as a hint, and he never looked at it again. He wasn't going to commit to me, he just used me so he could live his bachelor lifestyle. I was just the onahole and maid. If I knew my life wasn't going to get better now that I'm leaving him, I'd kill myself right now.

…um, anyway. I'm probably all over the place because I'm so manic. I'll stop now. Sorry again.

No. 298875

File: 1537626575493.gif (494.67 KB, 500x275, f35nkEe.gif)

No, wait, I'm not done ranting yet. I've got more.

Another reason why I'm so stressed and why I hate him so bad?

A week before our international trip, our upstairs neighbors yanked out a fucking water pipe and severely flooded our apartment.
We live below these ignoramuses in a high-rent shithole because bf needs to be closer for his job, doesn't drive remember?

So anyway, he's been lax about the ordeal because he lives like a filthy bachelor and none of his stuff was destroyed. All the furniture that got damaged is mine.
I've been the one taking charge with the apartment office and getting shit done.

The one thing I can't get done? The insurance. The rental insurance is the only bill in his name believe it or not.
He didn't know how to fucking file so I've had to do this all via proxy. Now, since we've broken up, I'm fucking terrified he won't file and/or will pocket the reimbursement money since the insurance people will send him a check in his name.

I might be screwed in that regard, but oh well.

No. 298881

You can get the money from him for YOUR damaged property. Remember, you're the adult, not this fucker. You did the right thing. You're manic and pissed and upset but fuck that manchild. He will not change. I dated one. They are fucking useless and manipulative shitstains.

Does he even know how to do laundry? Cook? anything? Nope. He's gonna beg you to do it. don't fall for his bullshit anon. You sound like you've hit your limit and his immediate reaction to blame you for money issues is a clear sign he doesn't deserve a second chance.

No. 298893

God I hope so.


He does his own laundry because I told him I wasn't gonna do it for him like a year or so ago. He overloads it because he puts off doing it. His clothes never get clean, and when he finally gets the gumption to do it the clothes sit on the floor and in the laundry baskets for months. Christ, I told him to go through his clothes and throw out the ones he didn't want 6 months ago. The bag is still sitting in the bedroom! I put it by the front of the door 2 months ago, and the hoarder put it right back.


He can cook but he never cooks for me. Can't name the last time he's done so. But honestly? The stuff he cooks is so unthoughtful like hamburger helper that I'd rather just make something nice for myself. I work too hard to eat his slop.

He can't load a dishwasher, however. So if I know he's 'loaded' and ran it, I know those dishes aren't clean. Even when he washes dishes they're often greasy, and he misses spots because he rushes.
And this is a guy who works in the food industry! Can't wash a fucking dish. Makes you think.

Oi. Anyway anon sorry I'm throwing out all this stuff but I've kept it in for so long. Thanks for the kind words.

No. 298894

how do antidepressants affect eyesight? never heard of this but im sorry anon i have bad eyesight too and it fucking sucks. i blame it on spending my formative years in front of screens though and never going outside so im nearsighted as fuck.

No. 298898

Just got a ton of friends requests from male strangers with middle-eastern sounding names on FB.
Are they completely retarded and believe that a random white woman wants to be friends with them or are they IS recruits or something (and still retarded?)

I only add people I actually know on FB.
Fuck off strangers…and also fuck off people I talked to like twice irl! Why do you deserve to look at all my private stuff?

No. 298899


I know it feels horrible to waste 5 years on a shitstain like your ex, but think of it this way: you are free now. You don't need to suffer even MORE years with someone as him.

Now you can focus solely on yourself. Work towards what you need and what you'd like. When you focus your own energy on yourself (and people who deserve it), you will see how things will develop for the better.

Loneliness might hit you since you've been in a relationship for some time now, but don't let it take control and don't go back to the shitstain because you will just end up in the same cycle. Instead cry it out, or write all those bad emotions in a journal. That way, you will externalize those emotions and they will fade in a "healthy" way.

What I'd recommend you to do is move away from him. Rent is actually a small price to pay compared to having a burden of shitty ex bf on your back.

Also anon, believe in yourself. You seem like a responsible person and with having responsibility - you can do a lot. Never waste your energy on irresponsible people like your ex-bf, they will just drain you.

(I'm speaking this from my own experience)

No. 298901

Not sure, but two of my facebook friends got hacked by what seems to be someone from middle east. Their whole profile got rewritten into something that looks like ISIS recruit profile (every post is now militant themed and written in arabic alphabet, they didn't change my friends' names though so it looks like they suddenly went ISIS which is fucked up).

Just block them to be safe on the safe side I guess.

No. 298905

nta but visit kiwifarms, they have a featured thread about it on the frontpage. Warning though, this is the most horrifying shit.

No. 298906

I hate being NEET. I'm constantly searching but the job market frankly sucks. I don't have any connections, and I don't have experience, and the longer I'm NEET, the less chances I have to land anything.

To top it all, my parents are getting extremely bitchy. They think that I'm having a blast while I haven't played video games in ages and I barely can do anything because I'm so focused on getting out of here.

They constantly take it out on me whenever they have a bad day. While I understand that they're undergoing stress, they don't have to turn me into their anti-stress doll.

If I don't get a job within three months, I'm just going to kym. I can't stand being here any longer.

No. 298909

My boyfriend is starting to twig that we have a lot of issues and I'm not sure how to address them with him.

He's very generous. He listens to my problems, he always offers to pay for stuff I can't afford because he earns more than I do. But sexually, with the chores, and in terms of what we do together, he's so selfish. He only wants to do anything if he's suggested it and if it's something he's very interested in, there's little if any time for my interests but he'll spend hours talking about his. He never does any chores unless I suggest we do them together. In bed, all the foreplay is for him, and usually I come once or not at all even though I'm multiorgasmic. And he says he's kinky but our sex is so repetitive and bland unless it involves a blowjob, and then he always wants to be super kinky and fun and try something differently (blindfolding him, cumming on my face, holding my head down etc). The actual sex is just 5-10 minutes of him holding me down in missionary and pulling at my ass (which for some reason makes orgasming impossible for me) while I do most of the work, and it's generally a really uncomfortable position but he constantly pulls me into it. He very very very rarely wants to be on top and do anything for me, and he says he loves giving head but for every 10 blowjobs I maybe get eaten out once if I'm lucky.

His weight is also an issue. It wasn't to begin with. I thought he was working on it, and fair enough he's had a rough time, but it's repulsing me more and more lately.

I feel fucking terrible for feeling like this because he has financially supported me far more than he's had to, and I get along so well with his family. I feel like I "owe" it to him to let him be selfish sometimes, but I never ask for anything he offers to do for me, so I also feel kind of tricked into owing him sometimes.

We're also very different people and those differences have become more apparent since I've been staying at his more and more. We have some things in common but those things are starting to feel more and more trivial these days.

Sometimes he says things like "I feel selfish" and "I feel like I dont satisfy you anymore" but I feel like admitting he is will just hurt his ego more so I just avoid it.

No. 298915

god I regret going there so much just reading the description made me feel sick to my stomach

kill all furries

No. 298916

>He's very generous. He listens to my problems, he always offers to pay for stuff
who cares? thats the bare fucking minimum. Leave him.

No. 298917

holy fucking shit, you guys weren't kidding. furries deserve to be fucking gassed, I hope all these people suffer.

No. 298921

I don't dare to go look in case someone has posted photos, can you summarize?

No. 298922

File: 1537636238943.png (Spoiler Image, 114.33 KB, 640x997, Screenshot_2018-09-22 TRIGGER …)

here's a summary. maybe now would be a good time to make a furfag general in /snow/

No. 298923

File: 1537636253111.png (Spoiler Image, 82.09 KB, 640x713, Screenshot_2018-09-22 TRIGGER …)

and part 2

No. 298928

I only read the first post, and they had the picture of the poor dog sitting on the bed… it almost made me cry

No. 298929


I don't dare to look on those pictures. Is it about animal abuse? >>298928

No. 298930

Is the real identity of the perp known? Please tell me he is going to jail. Remember, serial killers often start by abusing animals.

No. 298932

No, descriptions of the abuse that has been unearthed.

No. 298934


Well wew, I've read it now and I hope everybody who contributed to this should at least experience the same shit that was done to those animals and end up in fucking jail where they hopefully have to pick up the soap as much as possible. Wow, fuck that.

Is kiwifarms working on finding that people? Damn, I could never go into that because that is beyond fucked up.

No. 298935

There are multiple perps. The uncovered chatlogs show that there was a group of who knows how many people across multiple states and countries(theres even a particularly awful one from Austria) who were creating and exchanging those fucked up materials. So I’m worried it’s going to be hard to capture them all. It’s just like some fucking pedophile ring, but with animal abuse.
Kero, the one who’s named in the twitter screenshots, is the most famous of them all, having a large following on youtube. And guess what? Lots of them are defending him fiercely.
It’s just fucking disgusting, diseheartening and makes me want to cry, because there are lots more of vile creatures like that (or worse) out there, who are actually good at covering their asses, unlike those furry retards and may never be uncovered. Fuck this earth. Fuck it.

No. 298940

I’m all for it. FUck furfags

No. 298942

I have nothing much of value to say to you because I know you will know how foolish you were, but how free you will be after you're done mourning 5 years of wasted life (& love) and how short that time is in the long run. 5 years is a long time to invest in someone, especially if you were hinting at marriage at some point. Maybe treat this like if a loved one died, and don't beat yourself up for being kind-hearted and optimistic.

I just wanted to say that I've also gotten a "x minutes out" text before, in the context that he was picking me up from someplace, so in the future I guess it's like an "ETA x minutes" type of deal. Still, he didn't clarify a destination so you're all good lmao.

SN: Loving the pattern of women waking up to their useless SO's these vent threads have taken on for a while.

No. 298967

I’m going to fucking vomit, literally gas him.

No. 298984

thanks anons, I'm going to treat myself instead

No. 298990

Apparently it isn’t too uncommon for Wellbutrin to cause visual snow and other weird shit I’ve been experiencing. Some stuff I’ve read says it persists for years if it isn’t permanent, and some says it’s a temporary symptom of a higher dose. I’ve had good eyesight all my life and it’s given me pretty awful migraines the past few months so I’m freaking out a little at this point.

But yeah, I really shouldn’t complain when a lot people are born with bad eyesight haha. There are much worse side effects that I haven’t experienced and I’m grateful for that.

No. 298991

yeah, i feel justified in my hatred for furries after all these years. the internet has been very soft on them since the early 2010s i think. there’s something horribly fucking wrong when a prominent furry youtuber gets outed as a zoosadist and all you see is people wringing their hands over optics and saying #NOTALLFURRIES!!!!1!

for years furries have pretended their fetish community isn’t sexual uwu and the consequence of that is that is shelters unbelievably sick fucks like in the logs. disguising your community as nonsexual and letting kids in just to expose them to all kinds of vile internet porn should be some form of grooming imo. but that’s a different issue than fucking actual zoosadism.

fuck furries. i hope this is a reckoning for them.

No. 299013

Nta but when I took wellbutrin it would feel like my ears were popping all the time, like pressure in my head. Wouldn't surprise me that it would cause visual problems and general head problems. I thought that was very strange.

No. 299017

holy shit, I thought I was insane. (i mean im mentally ill and have taken wellbutrin on and off for several years) but I had never heard of visual snow until right now and it has explained this shit ive been seeing for years.

No. 299022

I feel like I lost everything, everything that I've ever loved and had. I feel so broken. When I was a teen I tried hanging myself, i still think about hanging myself almost everyday. My bf doesn't believe that I'll do it and he says I proclaim depression, loneliness and suicide for attention. I'm always tortured by my thoughts I feel like I don't have a reason for living anymore. I have absolutely no one to talk to, I can't talk to my bf about shit because he says that I ruin his mood, bring up the past or make him feel depressed. I just don't know what's the point of being alive anymore

No. 299024

File: 1537655277227.jpeg (35.33 KB, 400x288, 24FBEE81-9BAA-4094-89FC-F7B9FC…)

Well fuck.

Do you know if it got any better when you stopped taking it?

No. 299043

as long as you talking about stuff like that all the time isn't the norm, then he doesn't have an excuse not to listen to you and if he cares about you he would talk with you. Get someone to talk to, a professional, a new friend, a new partner, something.

No. 299044

He's doing bare minimum for a relationship. I think you should bring it up that you think he IS being selfish but you didn't want to hurt him by saying so.

If the sex is a bigger thing than the chores, ask him to not yank you down into missionary because it is uncomfortable/hurts and doesn't feel good.

If the chores is a bigger thing, ask him if you can spend 15 minutes together to tackle 1 room. You can take out the trash, he can sweep the floor, you can wipe down the counters and stove, he can do the dishes. Working in tandem as a set schedule.

No. 299061

I haven't taken wellbutrin in probably 8 months and it's a little better. While I can still see stuff it's not nearly as noticeable or distracting.

No. 299069

File: 1537673738750.jpg (55.41 KB, 775x637, 07d.jpg)

>walking home, stop at 24 hr store
>as I'm checking out qt tall /fit/ asian guy is behind me
>does the cutest smirk at me when I turn around to leave then looks down when I notice
>catches me in the parking lot
>waves and grins at me
>I wave back
>now cry knowing I'll never see him again

No. 299113

File: 1537684659443.jpg (12.55 KB, 355x237, 81a4iVUprJL._SX355_.jpg)

Not really a vent as much as it is a question

me and the fam were cleaning out my parents house of The Horde, and I came across one of those plush nets most kids had. I asked my mom if this was supposed to be something for my cousin or something 20 years ago and she says "no it was supposed to be for you"
I never had one as a child but I still have a few plush that might look good in the net. Should I hang it up?
>tfw turning 30

No. 299120

I feel like I'm obliged to get into a relationship now because of how difficult it is to maintain friendships now.

tbh if Host bars/clubs were a thing in the West I'd definitely consider attending. I'm so tired or trying to get my friends organized enough to do anything, its like herding cats and I'm sick of it.

No. 299121

File: 1537687234199.jpg (18.32 KB, 354x308, 1484247436018.jpg)

I don't see my friends as much as I used to because of work or university, and they barely reply on social media or group chats now. I'm sure it's not just because we're all busy. I feel lonely these days. And nowadays I feel like I have no hobbies, like I used to play video games some months ago or watch anime but now I just don't feel like it anymore. I'm bored.

No. 299134

File: 1537692483178.jpg (187.58 KB, 729x972, 3034e7368d5eeedc1ce45c29069b1a…)

all us lonely farmers could be each other's friends ;_;

a meetup would go terribly I suppose

No. 299135

do it anon, plushies are cute

No. 299150

File: 1537698262642.jpg (34.38 KB, 1024x709, IMG_20180704_005609.jpg)

>>recently get new puppy after previous dog passed away
>>bf and I are crate training pup all the time
>>roommate likes the pup but is also rude to him at times
>>don't ask roomie to take care of pup at all(becuase it's not his dog nor do we expect him too)
>>one day after caging up the pup to go run errands we come home to find the pup just roaming the house freely, while roomie is hiding in his room
>>I'm pissed off for obvious reasons so we tell roomie pls don't let him out like that
>>roomie doesn't listen, this happens like 3 more times
>>unrelated but goingthru depression bout and sleep schedule is fucked so sleeping at odd times, notice roomie takes the pup out without asking but thank him anyways for doing so
>>bf and I go out to get some food for an hour an a half tops maybe, lock pup up before we leave
>>what do you fucking know
>>come home to pup roaming the house alone, roomie hiding in his room with gf watching movies
>>pup peed all over the rugs
>>enraged while cleaning, bf goes to chew roomie out asking him yet again do not let the dog out at all if he's in the cage, he's in there for a reason
>>roomies barks back having the audacity to try and lie saying the dog stays in there 7 hours a day while I ignoring him when sleeping

I don't understand how fucking it is to just listen to someone. This isn't your animal, you aren't the one cleaning up the piss stains or the plastic from trash because you decide to let my dog be unsupervised. I'm at my wits end but we have no one else to trust to rent off or else he would be gone by now.

No. 299151

It seems like your roomie pitties the pup, some people don't think craters should even be a thing anon, but is not responsible enough to watch it, so why don't you go along with it but ask him to keep the pup with him in his bedroom when he releases it? Maybe the dog will pee in his floor and change his mind about crating or maybe it will just chill with him and then you don't have to worry about more accidents in the common area.

No. 299155

Put a lock on the crate.

Your roomie doesn't understand that it's not good to leave a puppy unsupervised.
He sounds like the type that thinks crating is negligent, but ironically he doesn't even interact with the puppy not even a half hour after ~setting him free~
Your pup is going to learn some bad behaviors and neuroses if this continues, he's getting mixed messages about what's allowed.

No. 299163

As much as I love farmers, there'd be the few crazies that would ruin the meetup and start shit or get offended over what so and so said.

No. 299167

Yeah, I'm sure a meetup would either be wonderful or would end with dead and injured farmers.

No. 299168

I don't want a meetup because I know farmers would completely shit on my weight and looks. Who needs that. Better to keep it anonymous.

No. 299169

Accidentally bought concert tickets for a concert that is over six hours away instead of the one near by me. Eventbrite lists it as “no refunds.” Only thing I can do now that may get my money back is to basically beg to the venue to refund me. I feel like a dumbass.

No. 299188

Everything about the female body disgusts me. I feel like a monster with these things hanging off my chest. Even walking around my home in no bra embarrasses the fuck out of me. I just want to be as small and invisible as possible. In no way do I want to chop my boobs off either, though. I hate trannies and their retarded ideology. Its really no wonder weaker minded women with eating disorders and severe self esteem issues turn into trannies.

No. 299190

Damn anon, that's terrible. You need to get that sorted out asap. I can't imagine being anything other than a woman.

No. 299212

Serious lack of motivation to study. The material is not even difficult, there's just a lot of it and everything seems to pile up. I'd rather just work my shitty retail job full time, then come home to shitpost and play vidya. Tertiary education was a mistake.

No. 299247

File: 1537727411823.png (478.55 KB, 500x641, 828e944bbe26b8ca3e6130fee6fd72…)

idk if this is relevant to you but when i feel this way i just remind myself that studying past hs is more like work or a hobby than like pre-college school.

i figure the first decade of studying was mandatory by the law and subjects that i didn't choose to learn about, so it gave me a bad association with studying that i don't have with freely chosen tasks.

my further studying IS my choice and not mandatory, so thinking of it the same way I think of doing things for work or doing things because I want to hone a skill feels a lot less obnoxious.

like with elementary-high school, my first thought about studying was "ughh this is so pointless but i guess i better get around to it eventually so i don't get yelled at…but maybe i'll watch one more tv show first"

when i do stuff for work my first thought is "i'm gonna do this so i can get more money"

when i do stuff for a hobby my first thought is "i'm gonna do this because it's interesting to me and i want to hone a skill!"

studying as a choice used to feel like the first camp because that's the first association, so i just slowly but surely moved it to the other two categories, because those are more accurate anyway.

sorry if this sounds insane it's really just a simple change in attitude.

No. 299254

File: 1537728781307.jpg (13.23 KB, 400x301, tumblr_oz6cd8ECTi1wh72bco1_400…)

This post started in a very different way, but I had an epiphany while writing it and I decided to change it.

I think my boyfriend may not be as nice as I thought he was.

I should explain some things before I continue. A childhood of neglect, sexual abuse, and bullying left me with a pesky ED (atypical anorexia) and possibly BPD (although the BPD specialist I was sent to said I didn't have it and kept talking about PTSD instead). Some of my relevant symptoms include not feeling like I deserve to eat if someone eats my food without permission, intense brain fog, and pretty low self-esteem. I also subconsciously forget a lot of distressing things, so my childhood memories are incredibly sparse and I've blocked out most of the CSA.

When I started posting this, I just wanted to vent about how worried I am that I'm alienating my boyfriend. Lately it feels like I can't do anything right, and that he's starting to see me as an idiotic child. Yesterday he tried to explain how colours worked to me because he decided I was wrong for saying that #50556a is blue, since it's obviously grey. He started 'teaching' me about how in RGB an equal amount of all three makes grey, even though that wasn't relevant here since they're not equal. It ended with him taking a block of chocolate he'd acknowledged was mine about an hour prior and eating half of it, despite him knowing full well that this is my biggest ED trigger (since whenever he does it I ask him to please not do that). About an hour after this we started playing Trivial Pursuit, and I spaced on a pretty basic/obvious science question ("What part of the body has the thickest skin?" - I said the butt, like a FOOL). I said "I'm so dumb" (because it was really obvious in hindsight) and he said "don't do that" in a bad-dog-don't-pee-on-the-rug voice, even though he'd decided right before this that I wasn't capable of understanding colours.

I share a venting Discord with some close friends, and I wanted to find other examples of him treating me like I'm stupid (because this one is fairly mild), and looking through all my past posts is really upsetting. I've only gone back as far as February, but I don't remember most of these at all. I'm clearly very distressed in them, but I'm totally blanking. I barely remember him throwing a half-eaten cookie onto my desk, storming out, then coming back in to ask me why I "have to make [him] feel like shit" because I asked him why he was eating it right after acknowledging that it was mine. I have the faintest memory of him being incredibly patronising toward me after I suggested that little kids playing incredibly violent/gory games might not be good for their developing brains (it appears that he started putting a lot of words in my mouth and 'debating' an invented argument, even when I insisted that it was completely different to what I was saying), and I kinda remember him lying to me about a girl (about a week before we started dating they kissed a few times, he sent her drunk messages saying he loved her, and then we traveled to a different country to hang out with her; he told me about the kisses and messages at the time, but now he says it was one peck and nothing else).

I don't remember thinking things like

>i know i'm just being dumb and whiny but i don't like feeling like i only have value if i agree with someone at all times

before tonight, but a lot of the messages read like that one so I guess I just suppress it. We've only ever had two actual big fights (one where he was saying hurtful things because he was in a bad mental place, and one where I found out the blog he used daily that I linked my friends to as a "hey look it's my BF" had an archive filled with naked women and posts about how he desperately wanted to date his hairdresser because she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen; even though it makes me sound like a crazy person I was super embarrassed that he 1. had any of that on there in the first place and 2. didn't think it was worth deleting when he got into a serious relationship) so I hope I'm not just making mountains out of molehills, and that I actually just forgot these things because they were incredibly minor, but I seem super upset in those messages, and it makes me wonder what else I've blocked out/ignored in the past two years.

Maybe I am just incredibly stupid, and he's just being nice when he tells me I'm the most intelligent person he knows, since I can't figure out how he can think the most intelligent person he knows is somehow also the world's biggest dumbass. I left my country to live with him, and right now I'm completely financially dependent on him because of visa stuff (which isn't an issue, he wanted me here ASAP and says he's happy to pay for my food, therapy etc.) so I hope that this is simply a misunderstanding and he isn't just like every other guy I've dated. I love him more than anything, but I worry that he secretly hates me.

Sorry if this is incoherent, but it's 4am here and I've been on the verge of a panic attack for hours.

(Also I know the porn thing is probably an overreaction, but one of my exes turned out to be secretly running not only a porn blog but also an entire crossdressing porn xhamster account where he made men give him 'tributes', then dumped me when I found out and now posts my pictures/email on 'tribute' sites while telling people he wishes he could send them revenge porn of me, so I get really anxious about things that remind me of that)

No. 299270

File: 1537730728916.png (95.33 KB, 948x343, 505.png)

>he tried to explain how colours worked to me because he decided I was wrong for saying that #50556a is blue, since it's obviously grey

You should have tried to explain to him how men are more statistically likely to be colorblind~ It looks more navy than grey to me, I wouldn't look at this and say "ah yes, an obvious grey!" Why would he even split hairs about this?
>and then we traveled to a different country to hang out with her
Scandal, anon. Shenanigans.
>I know the porn thing is probably an overreaction
It's not, it's a valid concern.

He sounds a tad insecure about his own intelligence if he's picking these really petty arguments with you, anon. Nice boyfriends don't do this. A good boyfriend wouldn't make you feel like a dumbass or make you feel second best because he's worships these other rando women.

Consider finding a better option in men. Let him chase his perfect hairdresser or whomever lol.

No. 299272

hey anon, i noticed that your inner struggle right now seems to be about rectifying 2 possibilities

1)he's a total untrustworthy asshole and he thinks you're dumb and isn't nice and treats you like shit
2) he's actually nice and there's nothing wrong and you're just making it up because you're the one in the wrong

but there's a third option, and that's that while he's not the worst guy in the world and he's not trying to be malicious, he's not mature or empathetic enough to be in a relationship with you right now so he makes mistakes that cause you unnecessary distress and hurt. your feelings are valid whether or not he's doing it on purpose. he doesn't need to be some kind of monster in order for you to be justified in feeling hurt or breaking up with him.
i have a similar problem where when i have really intense emotions, i need to find some big undeniable justification for them, otherwise they're pointless and stupid. this is bad because if someone just makes an honest mistake, you can twist it that they're really a lot worse than they meant, and on the flip side, if someone really is abusing you, you can brush it off because it's not quite bad enough for you to feel justified.
you need to learn to accept your emotions as they are. you don't deserve to be in a relationship we're you're constantly upset by it, even if your bf made an honest mistake.

also i'm not trying to say that your bf ISN'T abusive or malicious, I just don't have enough information to tell one way or another, and your perception seems very emotionally biased and keeps fluctuating from one extreme to the other, like it's either that he's the bad one or you're the bad one, so i just want to point out that neither of you necessarily has to be the bad one, it can just be bad timing and a bad match in emotional compatibility

also you're right, it's a grayish blue. what would even be the point of naming or labeling specific colors if you're just going to shove all shades into like 10 boxes

No. 299282

He's not like that, I've known him since I was a child (hes my age its not a pedo thing lol). I think it's just that I already have mental illness so everything seems and feels 10x worse
Another issue is that we're not. Everything being said over text makes me able to recall in exactness what he's said at his worst, and what I've said at mine. We fix things by the time we go to bed, make sure we go easy on eachother the next day. It doesn't happen often at all.
We've been through a lot together, we've seen eachothers worst. I think his issue is just that he hasn't been in a relationship with anyone besides me before, and doesn't know the limits of what you should and shouldn't say to someone you're that close to. He doesn't swear at me anymore when he's upset with me, so I know he's taking note of things. I just have a weird time letting go of things. Like I said I don't hold it against him I just look back at it to upset myself because yes, >>298646 , I'm unstable.

How would you all define intimacy if it's something that can't be replicated over text? In words? Like >>298642 said. The difference being that you can find even more little petty things to be annoyed with them for?
You all seem to think that irl relationships cannot be stupidly idealized or that it's not equally as easy to lie to someone, as if people don't cheat while living in the same household or argue with someone they love.
We talk about good things and bad things, probably more than most people would talk with someone they lived with most days. And plenty of IRL relationships don't work out the best, if they did we'd all be with the first person we thought we were in love with for the rest of our natural lives. Not really a reason to go "Hurdur they never work"
Yeah there's a difference in LDR and IRL relationships, but we've talked about it and are well aware we'll likely have issues to start specifically because we don't know how our behaviors are going to wind up intermingling. We're not that stupid, just introverted.
That being said if things go sour I'll be back to let you know you were right so you can add another tally to your "FAILED LDR" vs "SUCCESSFUL LDR" board.

No. 299283

File: 1537732605860.jpg (79.94 KB, 800x450, cdc.jpg)

I fucking hate shitty drivers and of course I live in an area notorious for asshole drivers. I almost crashed head-on with one of my shithead neighbors because he was going full speed around a blind corner on our tiny private residential road. I'm so sick of people acting like reckless dumbasses when they're controlling a 2,000+ pound metal death machine. And don't even get me started on people who text and drive…

No. 299285

i feel you anon. two days ago i was stuck in traffic for hours because some idiots on the highway decided to play chicken with a semi and died. it was horrific.

No. 299289

My first job after I graduated was great at first, but got so bad that my stomach hurts when I think that tomorrow is Monday. My only coworker right now is a smelly girl from another country who is throwing trash under her table and doesn't flush after going to toilet.

All of my friends live in different cities in the same region as I do, but I have no car so I can only meet them on weekends (if they have time). During the week I feel alone, unhappy and isolated. A lot of things are going wrong right now and I feel extremely down.

No. 299358

I've been having really scary manic episodes lately, and a close friend of mine offered to let me stay at his place so I wouldn't be alone. It was really nice the first 2 nights, we've known each other for a long time and I didn't think anything of sleeping in the same bed with him, but 2 nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night with his dick out and pressed against my back and his finger inside me. I didn't do anything and just pretended to sleep and left right away that morning. I messaged him about it and he apologized, but told me he was "confused by our relationship" as if I had led him on in any way, and as if he didn't touch me while I was asleep. I'm so heartbroken and upset

No. 299367

God, what a disgusting creep! I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you're staying away from that guy.

No. 299368

If you've both never been intimate and you wake up with his finger inside you that's alarming. It's sexual harassment. Even if you had kissed or flirted a sleeping girl can't consent to getting fingered ditch him.

No. 299369

I told him never to contact me again

We slept together a year and a half ago and we both agreed it was a bad idea. When he asked me if I needed a place to stay, I was very clear that I was struggling to deal with past sexual trauma and just needed a friend. Either way, you're right that it doesn't matter since I was sleeping.

No. 299390

I'm so sorry, just don't feel ashamed of yourself all blame is on him.

No. 299430

I have this weird relationship with this guy but after all I guess we're just friends with benefits but I'm starting to feel hurt.

We met last winter and we've been friends ever since. Four months ago I found out my grandma was dying of cancer and I started abusing benzos, one night I was high out of my mind and benzos make me really desinhibed and I ended up messaging him in the middle of the night and going over to his place. We didn't have sex nor did we make out but that's when I started feeling closer to him. After that I called him over to my place a couple of times and smoked weed and we made out but still didn't have sex.

Fast-forward one month, I got high on benzos again and I confessed to him and told him that I like him but he didn't respond in any way back then. He invites me on a camping trip and he tells me that he also likes me and I try getting closer to him but I feel like he rejects me everytime. He ends up having sex with some girl and I feel really hurt and leave the next day and try to get him off my mind.
We don't talk for about a month and I end up getting high on benzos again and I message him telling him he was cold towards me on the trip and he tells me he felt the opposite, he felt like I was the one being cold which might have been true since I'm afraid of showing too much affection.
He asks me if I want to hang out and I accept, we hang out for a couple of days and then we end up at my place and we start making out and I tell him I want to have sex with him, we have sex and then we have a talk. I ask him if he wants to be in a relationship and he tells me he thinks I'm really nice and that he likes me and he wants to help me but he cannot be in a relationship at the moment since he fells like he needs to focus on himself since he failed college exams but tells me he would like to move together with me next year when he enters college.

I'm super confused because I don't understand his feelings towards me and I don't know what I should do in this case. It's so fucking confusing because he treats me nicely when we meet but he never messages me and he's always online and on his phone and when we hang out he's texting but I'm always the one messaging him first.

I'm really lonely and have no friends at the moment and I also live alone and sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy from being alone. I feel really vulnerable and I also feel like I have already fallen for him and my BPD has started to act up and I've been starving myself because I think he thinks I'm fat because his ex was quite skinny.

No. 299433

>he felt like I was the one being cold
And he was so confused by this front so that rather than being forward with you at the time about this, he decides to fuck the runner-up?
I think you're being gaslit there, anon.

>have sex with him before you ask the relationship question

Oh, that's a real ouchie there anon. I hate to say this but that's on you. He's not gonna be in a relationship with you because it's obvious he doesn't take you seriously. You're just another girl to him.

I'm sorry this happened to you but it has nothing to do with your weight, it's a guy targeting you because he knows you're lonely and trying to cope in desperate ways (no offense).

No. 299457

File: 1537761994570.png (319.96 KB, 540x388, 94892.png)

That fucking shit about the furries who rape/mutilate dogs, puppies and deer is haunting me.
When I see pictures of cute little puppies, I just start to feel sick and sad. It's not as bad with dogs, as I'd like to think they can mostly defend themselves by biting (despite what I saw in one of the videos).

With puppies, I think about the fact that some piece of shit looks at the same images, feels sexual attraction, and wants to cause them extreme pain. That they see these creatures and probably message each other shit like "wags tail I would definitely rape that one~ :3" and mean it to their cores. That if the poor things fell into the hands of someone like that (and it's painfully easy for that to happen - some fuckers in the logs talked about raping and killing a puppy they got off Craigslist and called it a "rent-a-pup"), they can't run away easily, or even tell anyone.

And then I start to get paranoid and wonder about the puppies' fate, if they have an owner like that, if they could've been "adopted" to some sick fuck by an unknowing owner, etc. I know it's dumb and the puppies in the pictures are probably alright, but fuck. I didn't even see the absolute worst of the archives or finish the logs, but I regret learning about all this. I've seen a ton of human gore and shit without being affected, but I'm still sensitive about anything involving animals or babies. Baby animals, especially, are the most vulnerable, defenseless creatures. They can't even talk about what happens to them. Fuck.

I think, if I ever have a ton of puppies or kittens I can't adopt out to friends, family or strangers I can do thorough checks on (no fucking furries), I would rather drown or euthanize them than give them to complete strangers. Who even knows what could happen.

No. 299460

Maybe it's because I'm almost 30 and married and shit, or I'm just abnormal or something, but everyone being hypersexual on the internet is getting really grating and uncomfortable. It feels like every discord server I'm in, regardless of the subject, has a NSFW channel where people post their fap folders and talk about what shit gets them horny. I mute and ignore them but then it spills into other channels and it's mega degenerate. The mods are all in it too so I can't even ask for the sfw rules to be enforced.

I feel like I'm in the minority with my discomfort and it kinda sucks I guess. Everywhere I look there's hormonal teenagers sharing their hentai shit. There's zero fucking boundaries and I know half these idiots will get burned by oversharing their fetishes.

No. 299462

For some reason I am mad about how someone started a rumor about me stealing something from their room. I absolutely didn't steal, and even if I mistakenly took something, the guy never tried to get in contact with me about the item at all. It really screwed me over at the time. Ugh.

No. 299464

same anon. i'm not married or 30 but i feel the same way. we cant go anywhere without hypersezuality being shoved in our faces. like, irl or online, esp online, it's all over. i cant stand it. ngl, it makes me feel almost so depressed. i just dont want to see it everywhere.

No. 299469

In my early 20's and I'm the same. I fucking hate that everywhere I look there's ass, tits, porn, sex sex sex. I'm not one of those ~uwu forever innocent virgin~ people, I just don't want to be bombarded with sex 24/7. At least in the server I'm in, I have admin and can shut that shit THE fuck down.

had a girl join our server and jump on our NSFW channel expecting it to be full of porn. Jokes on her, it was war footage, things that in general you might find sketchy to look at when you're at work. You know, what NSFW actually should be used for rather than a porn dump. She instantly started crying for porn bcs "imma leshbeeuhn giv bob & vagine" and complaining about the lack of it so I had to slam her down to the floor.

had a bot that had a porn command that none of us used, it started getting spammed for loli hentai, immediately shut them down and kicked the bot.

No. 299470

It annoys the shit out of me too. Ive got a healthy appetite for sex but it feels like people online literally think about nothing else. Social media, stream chats etc. are all swarming with people who just can't keep their sexual interests to themselves. It really grosses me out. I've started auditing my Twitter and Facebook and removing anyone who can't keep it in their pants and it's really improved both my experience using them and my emotional state.

No. 299492

File: 1537772572827.png (280.76 KB, 459x347, InformationStuporHighway14.png)

I love my parents, but at the same time I feel very bitter towards them, which sucks because I was hoping that once I became older I would let go of it. My parents are honest to god good people who I know for a fact love me, but their overprotectiveness, unwillingness to let me try new things and have any social interaction stunted my growth as person and now I feel like I've lost so many years of my life trying to catch up to others, and I still haven't. I remember my childhood and teenage years and how they basically kept me locked in my room like a hamster and then couldn't understand why I didn't function like a normal girl my age and I feel so mad. But at the same time, can I be mad? I had a house. I had food. They never hit me. They just raised me like a pet instead of their child. But they loved me.

I’ve tried so hard to become my best version. I enrolled myself in conversation circles, tried learning how to drive, tried pushing myself out of my comfort zone, tried to stop being a people pleaser, but I'm either a failure or I just feel so fake. Everything I've become feels fake. But then who am I? Do I even have a personality? I still can’t open myself to anyone, I still fear rejection more than anything. I still see myself as this immature, scared, incapable of doing anything right piece of garbage and I can’t help but feel it’s partially my parents fault for raising me like that. But what if it wasn’t their fault? What if it’s all me? I feel so conflicted

No. 299498

I feel for you, it's tricky with parents. I think it's ok to both feel that bitterness and at the same time appreciate their good intentions in raising you. I don't know how old you are but myself I'm 27 now and I've only in the last like 2 years or so finally found a way to roll out the tide on my bitterness towards mine. It's definitely not all you, there are infinite ways you can set a kid back if you're not prepared and sometimes people just don't realize how their good intentions can actually suffocate and stunt you. I think what's really helped me move on and grow a bit is first off putting some more physical distance between myself and my parents, and then secondly idk I find a lot of comfort in knowing that I'll never forget the impact of my parent's methodology and thus can channel that knowledge in the future into raising my own kids in a more healthy manner. Sorry if this is long, that just struck a chord with me and I hope you keep pushing forward–taking classes and finding a new hobby of some sort is the right way to go.

No. 299530

>had a roof over my head and food
That has nothing to do with any abuse you may have been through. And those things were ultimately for them that they were paying for for themselves to survive, not necessarily for you. I wish people would stop making victim feel shit because "hurr you had a roof over yer head and food right???"
Like how is knowing we had the most basic of needs that everyone should have supposed to be a special feat as if we victims didn't experience abuse because of that?

No. 299531

Cringe. You sound insufferable, insecure, and jealous. Stop typing like an internet tough guy.

No. 299545

You don't drag your porn into SFW channels because you're a super special lesbian who thinks she can get away with shit because it's lesbian porn. We have rules for a reason, every server does. Fuck up.

No. 299556

File: 1537795126813.jpg (49.46 KB, 825x464, ellie_the_last_of_us_part_2.jp…)

I wish there were more depictions of female lone wolves in the media. I can't really think of any.

Ironically, lone wolves in the animal kingdom are mostly older females.
Yet as a lifestyle, it's often attributed to men.

It's a lifestyle that I'm working on, but it would nice to have depictions of female characters whether in movies, books, or even video games, where a woman is just happy being on her own whether being on an adventure, working an interesting job, or making her own way to the top without selling her looks or relying on men.

Because when men are lone wolves, they're badass, heroic, enigmatic, etc.
When women are lone wolves they are often called cat ladies and depicted as sad and in dire need of a man.
I wish I had funds to make my own game or enough talent to write my own book. It would probably sell like shit lel

No. 299560

Anon, you inspire me to want to create a work featuring that kind of main character. And I prefer writing romance kek.

I agree!

No. 299561

File: 1537795847044.jpg (27.73 KB, 500x500, 4CNwYLZ.jpg)

Behold: The minorist of minor vents incoming.

I took out my earring for the first time on friday. Left it in for two years after being pierced (took good care of it with seasalt spray).
It's nearly closed up already, despite having poked through it saturday morning and evening. Since sunday I could no longer go all the way through.

It's frustrating because I first got it pierced 10 years ago- but with a gun instead of a needle so it got infected and as a result I have scar tissue which I'm scared to poke while attempting to insert the earring.

If I ever have kids and they want earrings/piercings I'm absolutely not taking them to a place that uses guns. 10 years later and I still have issues with this shit, I just wish I could wear cute earrings on BOTH sides is that so much to ask for.

whew sorry for the sperg

No. 299565

I have seen some horrific zoosadism material so I can understand how you feel. It haunted me for the longest time too and the recent furry shitstorm is a painful reminder of that. Animals are so defenseless and there are probably countless zoosadists out there getting away with torturing and killing them since laws protecting animals are a joke. It’s shit because people who do this to animals are dangerous psychopaths and there is no good reason why there are no federal laws against this behavior. It just makes it all easier for zoosadists to get away with it online and allows easy access to this shit even on clearnet sites like 8chan which has multiple boards dedicated to this fucked up crap.

No. 299566

Nice, I'm glad!
Hopefully, I'll be able to read it one day.

No. 299600

ayyy anon I feel ya, kind of the same. Had my ears pierced since I was 5, with a gun
left ear kept closing, repierce with gun 10yrs later
still closes
I own an etsy shop and when trying to display my earrings I can only show how they look when worn on one side lmao

No. 299619

I have so many books to read and movies to watch, why the fuck do I spend hours refreshing the same 3 slow-moving websites everyday instead

No. 299648

I tend to have the same problem. Turning off my phone and putting it in a drawer really helps tho, because the temptation isn't there.

No. 299668

I don't know how troons are viewed in this board, it's too blogging for Fakeboi or Gender Critical one.

One of my friend who has bought into the whole fakeboi fad a few years ago just made an update of wanting to get money seriously for transition. Of course I can't say anything or our friendship would fall apart.

She's stereotypical 'smol gay boy' as it gets, and severely depressed. It really does feel like she's doing it to escape something and the whole trans may be worse for her mental health in a long one.

I can see that in a not so far future this will end only in disaster. Could she end up as a legit he, a proper transman? Maybe. But the schtick I saw her doing in the past has never been a good credit.

Dropping her out is not easy, we knew each other for years now.

No. 299699

File: 1537822505589.jpeg (54.22 KB, 640x469, CAF044A8-EDE3-44DA-A4A1-5114C1…)

i have a serious case of the munchies and i hate it so much. ever since i stopped being an anachan and cut out the disordered eating it’s like i can’t just sit down and feel calm without munching on something- usually chocolate, nutella or hot cocoa during the winter. it’s a wonder i’m not a fattychan. though i do feel like one.

when i’m not calming whatever’s wrong with me by munching away i have an online shopping addiction that stresses me out even more in the long run. if i see something, i need it before it goes out of stock or i still have some discount code to use or i feel like a failure and i can’t let it go. it’s like i get fixated on items and if i don’t have them there’s something missing and i’m not complete. never mind the guilt of compulsively spending money like a tween.

sweets and online shopping are essentially my drugs and when i’m not having either, i feel completely lost and empty. and of course they both stress the shit out of me too. no matter if i follow through with them or not, i will still feel anxious and guilty and worthless. feels bad.

No. 299784

Have you tried finding healthier things to munch on? Popcorn might be a good substitute. It is low in calories. Even sweet kettle corn isn't that calorific. If you get regular popcorn get the kind without butter. I can also vouch for frozen blueberries, its like crack to me.

You might also do OK with lollipops perhaps, they aren't healthy but they take a much longer time to finish compared to something like a chocolate bar. You can easily kill a chocolate bar quickly and consume a lot of calories, a lollipop can take forever so you can't consume so many calories in the same time frame. For drinks maybe tea sweetened with amacha (Japanese hydrangea) can hit the spot.

No. 299800

File: 1537840796285.jpg (102.85 KB, 1098x1200, DU5uj6wW4AAKXNL.jpg)

I feel like this recent guilt/sadness/whatever over past mistakes is just another way for my brain to justify self hatred. Simply because I've gone a solid year without caring about that fuck-up, and recently the bad thoughts have come back. And my brain's using the regret as a weapon.

Wish I could fully convince myself what happened happened and there's no point to thinking about it. Life moves on. I'll just have to yank up my big girl panties and practice acceptance. There are avenues for success now, even if my current state is colorless.

It's, hard, though. Logically I shouldn't be in this situation; all I had to do was try. Had 3 years to do so.

And, it's not something I can confess IRL because everyone will just shit on me…and it'd probably be what I deserve. Still, though. It's shitty.

No. 299825

Tell us what it is, then. We're curious and we don't judge

No. 299828

I'm 28 and I keep losing interest in my bfs as soon as they hit a certain age. All my bfs have been barely legals but as soon as they start looking older I lose interest and end up leaving…idk how I'm going to ever be in a real relationship or if I'm going to spend the rest of my life jumping from young thang to young thang

No. 299831

das nasty

No. 299847

Yeah, sorry but I think you need to seek help for that. I hate to be judgmental but I have to agree with the other anon that that is pretty gross. Teenagers, especially boys, are pretty fucking stupid, lack life experience, and lack emotional maturity. They just aren’t relationship material. Huge age gaps involving teens with older adults are often indicative of the older party being emotionally stunted.

No. 299860

do you, anon

No. 299894

Nothing wrong with that anon. Don't give a fuck. Men defend and see nothing wrong with their younger dating preferences all the time :)

No. 299897

I'm a literally autistic piece of shit but I'm also very smart so over the years I actively (and "mechanically") taught myself how to talk to people and now I have some kickass social skills. I think I reached a whole new level too, I now surpass most normies I know and became positively charming and charismatic.

It's a dumb thing to feel good about I guess, but damn. It feels good. It feels so fucking good to just walk into a room and leave people dumbstruck, to be able to read their body language and adjust my actions accordingly to get the result I want. I recently managed to make people who hated my guts begin to like me.

If any anon here is also an autistic fuck, please, try to learn social skills in a cold, theoretic manner (coupled with intensive practice, of course). Learning is possible and it's just. So. Fucking. Nice.

No. 299898

I just can't help it…even if teens-early 20s are idiots they're so much more cuter and have nicer skin.

No. 299900

uhh, there is something wrong with it though. and who the fuck cares if men defend their grody bullshit? we should let men and their predatory shit program our collective moral compass?

it's not that women should only be held to this standard of not preying on what are basically, mentally, children – it's that it's disgusting for both men and women and it should not be acceptable for anybody. jesus. very disappointed in you anons trying to redeem this shit with "b-but men do it!". yeah, and they're fucking gross and it's a legitimately creepy thing for either sex.

so teach normal aged bfs a skincare routine, like??? i can't even see a difference between a 28 yo guy and an 18 year old beyond their styling. guys look late twenties by the time they're 18, but tend to look the same until like 30 or whatever

No. 299901

I did that to an extent too anon, I was hopeless when I was younger but I practiced and practiced and practiced, all sorts of different things, and now I can get along with total strangers with no problem and befriend randomers without real effort and I've even defused a few tense situations by just being pleasant and charming and in-control of the situation.

I think a big part of it was practicing so much that now being, like, thoughtful and friendly and engaging is second nature when I'm out and about, it's weird, it's not even 100% acting anymore, it's that ingrained it almost doesn't feel like it.

It's also a very useful skill for getting along with family members and other people I care about when I'm in a bad mood and don't want to show it, 90% of the time I can turn the "good mood" on instantly for them so they don't get worried/annoyed/etc.

Yeah. Pretty good

No. 299904

Ok but how do you learn that?

No. 299906

It's not your fault that men hit the wall at such a young age, anon. I'm kinda the same. I hate how men age so rapidly because taking care of your skin is 'gay'.

No. 299908

what the actual fuck is wrong with americans? i met some bitch who is married to a guy from my country, and she was bragging that she stops him from teaching his language to his own fucking children because it would "ruin their perfect american accent uwu"

No. 299921

I'm >>299901 and for me at least it was like, over the years I figured out a bunch of little things (through trial and error - i.e not doing them at first)

Things like, genuinely LISTEN to people when they're talking, I can't emphasise this too much, react to what they're saying - not exaggeratedly at all, but things like nodding, laughing, sounds of agreement/interest at appropriate times, a big thing that helped me was having "stock phrases" that i could use to show interest in a conversation, PARTICULARLY stuff that encouraged the other person to keep talking - people on the whole always enjoy talking about themselves and their interests to an interested audience, it's natural

If youre not naturally empathetic, you can still help yourself by TRYING to be empathetic, like, if someone's telling you about a messy divorce, and they don't seem too happy about it, you don't need to be a genius to get that that is something you should be suitably serious about - they might want to linger on that, they might not, so drop it when they seem to want to drop it

Another thing: don't talk about yourself all the time, if possible, only talk about yourself when it's necessary to, keep it to a bare minimum - this is about getting along with people, not forming bonds or something, just getting along

More on the stock phrases, stuff like "how long have you been doing (interest) for?" "what do you like about it?" "how does such-and-such work?" - tbh there are a billion examples, they don't have to be hugely insightful or groundbreaking questions, just enough to keep things rolling. Shy away from asking about personal stuff but there's a lot you can talk about with a person without sounding like a creep. People love complaining, too, lmao.

But yeah, and then I practiced, practiced, practiced. People I met in supermarkets, at the bus stop, at clubs, at work, everything. Some people you just won't ever really get on with, and that's fine, but you can still do your best. In one case I managed to keep a solid, professional, even pretty pleasant working relationship with a colleague i really didn't like, because i TAMPED DOWN on my feelings of dislike and outright just pretended i was her buddy. Painful for me, but it was a far better outcome than the mood of the department being shit.

You often have to put your feelings - of boredom, of crankiness, whatever - to one side. It's a valuable skill to have. No-one's saying stick around someone who's giving you bad vibes, but even in those scenarios - speaking from experience - you can sometimes get someone to leave you alone in a nice way, rather than a way that could turn aggressive. Not every weirdo who approaches you is going to rape and dismember you unless you kick him in the nuts and run away. But that depends on a bunch of factors, like where you are, time of day, people around etc. If you gotta run, run.

And I guess the final thing is, you can be in control of the situation if you want. Don't turn into a megalomaniac, but like, if you're just standing around awkwardly with someone, and the conversation has dried up (or even if it hasn't!) you CAN just go, "hey, it was nice talking to you, see you later" or similar, I know this seems to contradict a bit with what I said above but there's a time and a place for everything. You really don't have to be reliant on everyone else to start and stop every interaction.

Well that's all I can think of for now. Hope it's some use, anon. It's a learning curve, seriously, just don't get disheartened. Even normies do a lot of shit they find really, really embarrassing, it's not just us.

No. 299937

Have you dated Asian men? They age well.

No. 299944

>go to bus stop
>oh five minutes until the bus arrives
>smoke cigarette
>funny looking granny sits next to me
>two teens sit next to her
>look up bus-app, cus I want to know when I arrive home
>it says the bus has a 12minutes delay
>oh hey granny u take the same bus as me? Its coming 10minutes later
>teen hears it, too. 'O rly? Thx'
>both teens leave
>granny talks to me about bus delays
>bus comes in time
>oh fck

I just can't stop to think about the teens that didn't get the bus because of me. Why am I so autistic….

No. 299946

Which country, if you don’t mind me asking?

No. 299952

Anon that’s not your fault it’s the bus app. Good on you for letting people know and being a helpful citizen.

I could never do that, too socially retarded + in my country, to a lot of people, randomly talking to strangers earns you an immediate weirdo/crackhead/drunkard stamp lol

No. 299956

What kind of dickhead smokes at a bus stop when people are almost always going to be near you - noone wants smoking related health issues from your secondhand smoke

No. 299963

Idk everyone does it? But you are right.

Thx anon.
I'm very talkative to strangers. I have many funny stories to tell because of it. But many creepy ones, too. I guess I'm a weird crackhead but what ever.

No. 299967

Not getting good marks in HS, basically.

No. 299970

You did nothing wrong anon. What retards leave a bus stop when there’s only a 10min delay?

No. 299998

We're very similar, anon. My husband is almost a decade younger than me, we met when he was 19. I have a clear preference for younger men but I didn't want to be a 40yo or a 50yo hunting boys on Tinder. Sure, the sex would be nice but I want more for my life.

No. 300020

I'm pathetic. I got so angry and frustrated I start crying just cos I don't have any of the food and drink I asked for. Everything my dad got was wrong. Its so fucking embarrassing food is THIS important to me whether I'm skinny or fat. Now I feel so alone and sad cos I don't have my food. I don't have any friends, a job or a bf so food is the only thing that brings happiness into my life without it, there's nothing. I was genuinely taken aback when my sister let me have her take out the other day cos she said in her words "It's just food." I can't believe some people have that mindset. It triggered the fuck out of me.

No. 300024

The entire Bowsette meme is just beyond annoying at this point and I hope to see it die as fast as it clogged my timeline everywhere since yesterday.

No. 300031

im from europe

No. 300036

I fucking hate men and their butthurt to rejection? Fucking joker typing bitch hacking into shit and trying to blackmail people. Fuck him and fuck men

No. 300045

I just want to say that I know how you feel cause I've been in the same situation. When I was living with my parents food was the only distraction from how awful and lonely my life was and the only thing that made me feel good for a moment despite of depression. Due to my father losing work of 15 years and borderline illegal mortgage we ended up being really poor suddenly. I was not taking medication yet so was really umbalanced emotionally. It could make me cry and get angry when my father did not bring me the chips or sweets that I requested, especially when I knew that there's something I can't stand for dinner. I remember being really angry and disapointed when my father bought me basic corn puffs and not chips cause he could barely afford even them. I hated myself for not being able to appreciate them and acting like a little shit but I could not stop my crying tantrum cause it made me remember how poor we are and how shitty is our situation. I feel awful even remembering that. It was such a terrible mix of painful emotions - feeling sorry for my dad, irrationally angry cause I did not get what I wanted and because my life was shit, overwhelmed with depression….

The fact that now I can purchase and eat all the food I want is a major contributor to my binge-eating disorder and why I'll have to start therapy soon.

Sorry for the useless blogpost

No. 300058

it's exhausting

No. 300098

One of my friends started dating someone and that shook up the entire group structure because she's distanced herself from us to be with him. She's quite man-dependent and acts like she was born conjoined with him.
We talked it over after some little fights, she's closer now. She drags him along with her, but still.
It's quite bothersome sometimes but he's not a bad guy so we try to befriend him too.
Then today one of my friends decides to start yelling at her and call her names because she was making out with the boyfriend in front of him, causing a scene in the middle of the campus. I wasn't there and they came to cry in my arms later because i'm the "therapist friend".
I'm heavily depressed atm, can't bother to quit smoking so much and literally am just a ball of stress with finals and projects coming up at the end of the year, and have no idea what do. I told them both my honest opinion ("You're quite obnoxious with your relationship, but he was an asshole and you should get him to apologize / I know she's been annoying and that is really uncomfortable, but you should have your nerves under control and apologize"), but they still don't want to talk to each other properly and i'm honestly too exhausted to bother anymore.
They're the few people i actually care about in this city and i'm considering just asking for a transfer over to another state's uni, packing up and leaving all this fucking drama and discomfort behind.
This wasn't even the first drama i've gotten myself into lately, since i already got into fights a lot before, but this one was too much.
(Before anyone asks, yeah, we're quite young. Youngest of the group just arrived at 19 and the oldest is 24.)

No. 300105

My boss is an absolute cunt. Total unprofessional white trash, always subjects us to her shitty music and never asks what anyone else wants to listen to, and whenever anyone makes a mistake speaks to them like they’re a brain dead toddler. Gets poor feedback from customers while almost everyone beneath her gets excellent feedback. I have been in management and she is totally unfit for the job. A miserable hole who wants to bring everyone down with her. I would quit if the pay wasn’t so good.

No. 300183

boss says employees have to wait a week or so for paychecks. he proceeds to spend 1.5k with the business card at anime convention in food liquor and merch. i have $10 in bank account and have rent coming up. fml

No. 300184

idk if i'm just in a bad/oversensitive mood or what but i wanted to throw up and cry simultaneously as soon as i saw those women stuffed in the pantihoes and used as wall decorations in the kanye/lil pump i love it video. i thought i was "over" this type of shit at least emotionally but literal dehumanization like that gets me every time. the idea that it's all women who probably spent a lot of time and effort to look perfect and up to strict beauty standards only to be disrespected and objectified in such an obvious way. idk that it's semi fictional or if there's an ironic message or anything, it's a disgusting concept in any context and i hate that it's just there like it's nbd when you know if it was men instead there would be an uproar. like ffs men cry objectification if they see a fit male backup dancer who isn't even put in an uncomfortable position, but if i find literally dehumanizing imagery upsetting i'm just an overreacting wimpy feminazi right?

No. 300185

no anon i feel this way too

No. 300187

what's weird is that i find it more disturbing than any cannibal corpse cover. like at least with that the whole point is to convey fear, suffering, pain etc. i really doubt the intention in the i love it video was for people to think "oh god she must be boiling in there, she must be really uncomfortable and bored" no, i'm pretty sure you're supposed to just see them all as props and not think much of it and see the video as overall positive and cool. that's what makes it especially nauseating.

No. 300192

I think it would be nice if we had a thread for "good/innocent" media? I'm sick of reading books, watching movies and tv series (or like in your case mvs) and then completely unsuspectingly having to see something gross. That might seem tumblrina like, but not everybody is fine with having to watch some disgusting or creepy shit done against women in their free time, without even getting a warning. If you read/watch a thriller you know beforehand that there's probably at least one person going to get killed in it, but people nowadays love to put objectifying or even rape scenes whenever they feel fit, just like a little "extra" (e.g. GoT: Yes, the middle ages were tough, but every single women did not get raped every single day)
I wish people wouldn't be so soft on rappers. Kanye is old, a father, he really shouldn't get away with being like this.

No. 300193

There is no ironic message. It is sane to feel disgusted by dehumanization, anon.

No. 300194

Yeah, that was a weird horror element in an otherwise goofy video. Although the song itself seemed to be disrespectful to women, it wasn't in a way that would warrant creepy imagery like that. It wasn't angry or sadistic, just about promiscuity (?).

I also hate seeing women in submissive/objectified scenarios, anon. I used to chalk it up to me being a domme and thinking "Well I'd hate doing that! Jeez!", but I've since realized it's everywhere which makes me even more uncomfortable.

No. 300197

It is men showing their hatred towards women. You don't need to be a domme to have a problem with that. It is as bad as if it was white people using black people as dehumanized decorations.

No. 300198

thanks anons. i don't feel like i'm being dramatic now. fuck it, even being tough and stoic shouldn't mean you put up with shit that goes against all basic humanity.

> It wasn't angry or sadistic, just about promiscuity (?).

this is what i find so creepy. it's so weird, but at least being like "ooh i'm so evil and bad for society! look at all the fucked up things i do! idgaf" has the mercy of acknowledging that you're doing fucked up things. this is like a dissociated, oblivious type of cruelty which is so much creepier to me. and the women weren't struggling or screaming even, just sitting still with their heads down, like they've completely given up, like they think they deserve to be there. gross gross gross

No. 300200

yeah that's a nice idea. the only problem with tumblrinas when they do that is that they expect everyone to cater to them. like everyone should spoiler gore for them even if they have a horror blog, etc. just wanting to compile a resource of things you know won't bother you isn't entitled or demanding at all.

No. 300204

I would love such thread! I usually watch/read dark and depressing things but sometimes I crave a sweet and conforting story…

No. 300235

File: 1537918060442.png (531.18 KB, 471x594, 9099.png)

This girl is 14, already looks like a 24 year old IG "baddie", and does sponsorships for Fashion Nova.
I'm sorry, but this shit is so gross to me. At least Danielle Bregoli is in her late teens. Why are 14 year olds being advertised this way?

No. 300237

2.6 million followers? what the fuck? where are their parents? she just looks like a chubby 14 yo in dumb styling and it's uncomfortable and creepy as fuck because she's clearly a child. what the fuck is wrong with fashion nova to support this shit? their brand is legit encouraging pedophilia

No. 300258

>late teens

She's 15

No. 300259

I hate how miserable and sardonic my parents are. It actually feels weird for me to be at college because it’s going so well, because I’m used to always expecting shit to hit the fan at home.

No. 300265

Huh? I thought she was 16, going on 17. I had to double-check and see. Fucking RIP.

No. 300289

Last time i heard Danielle lied about her age,shes 12 or sth

No. 300293

File: 1537930669602.png (2.26 MB, 1182x1186, 45849301745.png)

I just want a cute husband to have cute kids with

No. 300324

File: 1537938189031.gif (411.37 KB, 500x281, kPIde4a.gif)

My first day of going back to low-carb (kinda keto, but my protein intake was higher than keto allows) and goddamn, this diarrhea. I guess it's better than the constant constipation I have while eating carbs, but goddamn still.

No. 300325

always feeling self destructive wtf help
i wanna take drugs to self destruct and i fucking hate em
so ive been drinking and benadryl i almost went out to buy acid just now

No. 300326

From one self destructive (suicidal more like) person to another, I feel you. Generally what stops me is that I know I'll hate myself and life even more if I do actually fuck myself up like wearing down my stomach lining from the alcohol and benadryl combination.
Why put yourself through that? Is it going to be worth it to end up on a hospital bed or making life more unbearable when you do actually make yourself ill? I remember when I could barley breathe and was bed-ridden for nearly two weeks and don't want to go back to that. It's all fun and games until you actually fuck yourself over then you regret it. Sorry if that doesn't help much, but it helps me to know I'm not the only one here suffering from the same mindset

No. 300340

I got the job full time! I can't believe it but fuck there's so much to fix in so little time. I start in late Oct. I only have 26 days to reverse the effects of 3 years of agoraphobic NEETdom. I Need a haircut, basic skin essentials, basic make-up and to go cold turkey on alcohol and food. Basically actually start caring about myself again. lol. I'm gonna fuck this up.

No. 300364

I know this is going to sound weird, but the noises my mother makes while eating are so disgusting and annoy me so much that I have to do my best not to cry. My sister and I always do our best to leave the room if she starts eating but sometimes we can't. When eating outside she never does that, but at home she literally nearly only eats bread and while doing that makes these weird chewing sounds, like a horse or cow and swallows so extremely loudly that it makes me feel sick. Just right now I had to endure that again and she's still at it with audibly "cleaning" her mouth. My sister once told her and then she got angry and said "okay then I'm never gonna eat again if you don't even allow me to do that!"…

No. 300375

That isn't weird to me. I know exactly how you feel. I hate my mums eating SO much. My sister hates it too. It makes me extremely irrationally angry, I have to leave the room. But She doesn't get triggered when we tell we hate her eating. She just laughs.

Does it happen with anyone else? I'm interested in this cos it runs in my family. My grandpa's mother smashed a glass over his as a child cos he "ate too loud" then he made my dad suck on potato chips instead of chewing them cos the noise would trigger him so much he'd hit them. My dad then got the same problem, sweating and shouting and leaving the room cos of our eating and now I have it too. It's really weird.

No. 300526

google misophonia

No. 300533

my grandfather just died and my bf and i just got into a fight over it because i told him i didnt want to hear any "dont be sad" from him because it wasnt helping.

i didnt even say it angrily, i told him i appreciated it but it wasnt helping and to please stop. and then suddenly its all "stop taking it out on me" "we shouldnt talk" "fuck off"

ok cool.

No. 300539

Holy shit me too! I hate the sound anyone makes while they eat, it just grates on my nerves. I get intrusive thoughts about punching them in the face sometimes. I try not to purchase crunchy foods for home so I can it minimizes how noisy people around me are while eating.

Thanks anon! Figures there'd be a word for this.

No. 300552

I need an advice from you, guys. I though that this place would be perfect to ask as everyone can be truly honest and not pretend to be moralists fags.
So there's a guy friend of mine that was recently married ok after a quite long term relationship with his girlfriend, I know the girl in question before they married, she screwed uó with me in the past and she has some shitty mental disorders like bpd, depression, anxiety, binge ED and at the same time treat him like shit most of the time, doesn't study or work and live sucking his and her family money like a parasite. I said I knew the girl by myself so you can't tell me that the guy lied about her shitty personality in order to manipulate me. For some time I truly believed that the guy regreted marry with her and soon would ask for a divorce as he's cleary not happy but it seems like he wanted the relationship end by it self. Ok, it's understandable. Some time ago he said he was in love with me, so was I because we were very close at the time and we sleeped together but without intercourse 2 times and flerted by messenger but I stopped this shit as quick as I can. I felt like shit afterwards because I don't want to be a lover of any stupid married man as I deserve better and didn't wanted to make anyone suffer because of my fault. We are still friends and talk about normal things on a daily basis as he's a pleasant and interesting person to talk to. What bugs and let me utterly digusted is that they post photos together on social media pretending to be the perfect couple with him sometimes saying how much he love her when he only talked bad about her not talking anything good to me not even once and people commenting "omg you 2 r so cute together!". Of course she didn't know he was unfaithtful truly believing he uncontitionally loves her with all of her problems and before me he flerted with at least two other girls but didn't had anything as he told me as I adviced him that this would not be a good idea.
Should I tell her who her husbund truly is? I'm almost sure that she wouldn't break up with him as she is a complete lazy ass and live with his money but if I were in her place I'd wish to know with whom I'm living with and I don't like men doing good decieving others like this. For one side they deserve each other with this digusting codependency and toxic relationship, for the other side besides she being a not so nice human being she should have the right to know and can teach him a lesson, maybe? She would be very angry at me too with good reason to do so but I can handle it. Idk I'm so digusted.

I know you will judge me a lot but what would you do in my place?

No. 300557

I have this too, it's terrible when you can't avoid the sound.
I have the urge to smash the person or animal as hard as I can to stop it, but I never actually have done it. It's ok to eat in an area with other sounds as it kind suffocates de eating sound but staying in a quite room with other people eating and making noises like pigs get me really angry for no reason at all.

No. 300558

I just feel like I cannot be sincerely loved by anyone, every time someone try to get close to me I'm glad to let them, but I don't really take them seriously in a way? Like I expect them to run away at some point, after learning something about me that they would find disgusting or embarrassing, so I never let myself really like someone back.

I'm seeing a really awesome, sweet funny guy at the moment and one night we spend a few hours cuddling under the stars, saying sweet things to each other and then we had sex, the next day he started implying that we were a couple now, and I kinda want to but at the same time I feel like I've put a wall between him and me, even if we do get into a relationship I feel I wouldn't take it seriously and would just expect him to leave me at some point.

No. 300564

Tbh I'd tell her.
I'd want to know who my husband is sleeping with.
Better she knows and don't get kids with this asshole.
Yeah, she is fucked up but this guy married her, it is his fault he is with her.
And I don't think you are the 'evil' person here. He is because he is married and should only fuck his wife, that is not your problem.

If every women would tell, maybe there wouldn't be as much cheaters in this world.

No. 300565

Just leave him alone. If his relationship was really that bad, why did he get married? If you want my honest opinion, it sounds like this guy doesn't know what he wants. Even if he gets a divorce i would still proceed with caution. If he's willing to cheat with her, he'd probably do it with you.
If his wife has so many mental issues like you say, what good is it going to do telling her? It's just gonna make your friend more miserable than he already supposedly is.
Just leave married men alone.

No. 300566

I've got the same thing with my mom, except she doesn't do it purposefully. Just her normal eating noises make me want to stab myself in the hand with a fork; rage fills inside of me every time I have to be around her while she's eating. I've never told her because I know she would feel so bad.

No. 300569

If she won't care then don't tell her, you'll just embarrass yourself. I've been in your situation before, slept with a guy who I didn't know was engaged until after. I told his gf through Facebook and she just blocked me and didn't reply. He probably has his own issues that you're not seeing, if he's with her.

No. 300571

The last several weeks I’ve been working everyday at my job 13 hour shifts and for the first time I have three days off in a row. I was asked by my manager who is kinda going through a hard time to cover her today but I said no

Tbh lately she’s only thought of herself and has not given a thought to what I’ve been through at work and the issues and struggles mentally I’m going through
Not to mention the pain I have from work

Is it wrong of me to think she’s selfish because she wants to go home because she feels like crying??? While I’ve had to work the way I had too?

No. 300572

Landlord just served me eviction papers while I'm 8 months pregnant and wished me good luck with the baby while handing me the papers lmao fucking hell

No. 300576

and? why are you getting evicted? it 's extremely hard so you must have done something.

No. 300580

My cousin didn't invite to her wedding. Her mom and my mom (who are sisters) had a falling out a few years ago but I was never a part of it so I'm honestly kind of offended that I wasn't invited. We were never super close but I did always admire her and I'm an only child so I never had much family growing up other than cousins. I saw the photos on facebook and there were a lot of people so it's not like it was small or anything. I feel like writing her a nasty message letting her know how much of a bitch she is for this. Like, its nice to know that my extended family cares so little about me that I can't even be invited to a big wedding. It probably shouldn't sting that much but just being an only child with divorced parents I always felt really alone and lacking in the family department. I hope my bf will ask me to marry him soon so I can deliberately NOT invite her or her drunk bitch of a mom and then we can have lots of kids and send them photos of them but deliberately not ever have them meet or visit.

No. 300583

You sound like an unpleasant bitch so it really isn't surprising you didn't get invited.

No. 300584

Because he wants to rent to somebody else at a higher price because you can only raise the rent for existing tenants by a small percentage each year and he can make more money by kicking us out and upping the rent and putting it back on the market, and because this is ridiculously common in my country at the moment and the housing situation is a complete joke. My husband and I have been here 6 years without a complaint or a problem at all anon so no need to fucking assume we've been cunty tenants.

No. 300591

was your mom invited? This sounds like them being rude to your mom over that falling out and you're just collateral. Sounds like you're better off without them and like it's not worth this much of your attention or worry, but also correct that you shouldn't invite them to your wedding when the day comes. Just cut em out

No. 300592

anon is reasonably pissed after finding out she was not important enough to get invited to a wedding of a family member, not even as an extra. Give her a break.

No. 300600

OP here, no my mom wasn't invited. But I have my own apartment so it's not like the invite would have gone to an address where my mom would have seen it. But yeah, you are probably right, it is collateral over the falling out but I still feel upset by it. Thanks for listening to my bitch vent.

No. 300603

This isn't bitchy. Your cousin is petty and you have a right to be angry. However I would forgo the nasty message and just start ignoring them. Like you said, the sweetest revenge would be living your best life without them in it.

I too come from a divorced home and was an only child. The cousins on my mother's side treated me like a black sheep and only interacted with me when they're forced to at social events. Strangely I'm friends with my aunt and uncle though.
But yeah, when they pass I never expect to hear shit from them unless it's over inheritance and money, just like what happened when my grandpa passed.

When my mom remarried I got to be friends with a younger cousin from my stepdad's side. We don't talk or see each other often but I try to spoil her when I do.

No. 300611

My mum is cutting herself again. I don't think she's ever going to stop. I've never even actually commented on it before, nobody has.

No. 300618

It's been a week post-breakup. Just wanted to update with some new vents.

Actually, I've felt nothing but relief. I think I'm more or less grieving about the time I lost while with this guy, and maybe the fantasy of having a boyfriend who'd actually care and would want to provide a bit more.
Found out some pretty disturbing things via friends, but I'll talk about that later.

When I came home from my parents house I found him sleeping in my bed. Dishes in the sink. Rotten milk in the garbage can that made the place reek. Oh well. I let that stuff go because I told him we needed to talk about important things, schedules, etc. Yelling would've caused him to shut down like a toddler. I drove us out to breakfast and he was being grouchy to me. Just nasty. Why? Because he's trying to go to that family wedding out of state and already presumed he didn't have a hope in hell of getting a plane ticket from me (a ticket now costs $500). He wasn't trying to keep up pretense. Anyway, I tried to talk with him about the finances but he was just being difficult. I asked him "What about buying a bus ticket?" In which he replied it was too expensive. I found one for $90 and showed it to him. His response? "I don't need a travel agent. Even if I got the bus ticket it would take too much travel time. So obviously I'm not going." Woe is him, right? I'm the one ruining shit for him, right?
"Well then maybe you shouldn't be acting nasty to the only person who can give you a plane ticket right now. Be nice to me. Let's talk."

And just like a light switch, he started to be nice. Cooperative. Even picked up the breakfast tab~ The snake, and then at the end of our meal he tried to say his feelings for me hadn't changed lol.
So right now there's this ridiculous facade of us being on friendly speaking terms, while underneath is his thinly veiled contempt. Contempt because he knows his life is going to get 100 times more difficult without me in the picture, and I've got him by the balls. I plan to give him the plane tickets because I'm not vindictive, and I need this in part so he won't give me trouble about signing me off the lease, but I see through him and his game. My official move out date is next Saturday.

Speaking of, my parents are letting me stay with them for a couple months so I can pay down some debts and save up for a house down payment. Nice of them, eh? Although I may just need to find a storage unit for my stuff because yesterday (on what was going to be me and my ex's anniversary) I got a reply back from a very important government job I had applied for months ago, so I may need to be moving state to train.
Maybe all this was divine timing. My ex would've had to shoo once I got this response, he wasn't coming with me regardless if we were still together.

Recall how I told you guys about the sweet friend who showed him the engagement ring pictures?
She told me he said to her that he meant to propose to me during our international trip. When I came back with nothing she figured it didn't happen.
Out of curiosity I asked him if it was true. He said yes, but "he couldn't afford" the ring. For the record: The ring wasn't over $3k and I wasn't even asking for a wedding ceremony. I just wanted my birthstone in a nice setting. Yet this retard couldn't even figure how to finance one. The plane tickets to our vacation cost double the ring I wanted! Regardless, it all doesn't matter now. Things will get better, it's just awkward having to live here still.

No. 300620

Any chance you might gently persuade her to see a therapist and maybe a shrink?
I am a 26 y/o selfharmer (though clean for a year) and I know the torment she must feel in her soul to do that. The selfinjury is a symptom of a much worse problem and she needs support and help with it.

You probably know that, but please don't shame her. Instead, be there for her and try to steer her in the right direction (if your relationship is close enough for that).
I wish you and your mom all the best in the future.

No. 300626

>Just leave him alone. If his relationship was really that bad, why did he get married?

In part because of giving her a passport for other country that he will work in the near future, fear of being alone and low self steem believing that nobody would love he are some of the the reasons. But yeah, you also have a point.

>If his wife has so many mental issues like you say, what good is it going to do telling her?

Agree, but she also loves people to pity her and always try to manipulate people with it to get what she want. Idk open her eyes.


O think that she would care a lot and be really angry as she never knew this kind of atitude of her husband before.

No. 300627

you sound cunty anyways. it also doesn't sound like you're being evicted but rather he's not extending the lease. especially since you claim there are protections in place to prevent rent hikes on tenants i doubt landlords can kick you out for no reason.

No. 300633

She's been seeing psychiatrists for a very long time and goes to rehab a lot. I've never shamed her EVER. You don't have to worry about that. Congrats on being clean for 1 year, thats a great achievement.

No. 300636

Feel like I’ve gotten so ugly lately but I don’t know how to fix it. My hairs damaged af so I dyed it dark to match my roots while I let it mend. But it doesn’t suit me at all, so I added bangs to try to balance it out but idk. I look so frumpy and honestly it depresses me. To make matters worse I’ve gained 20 lbs on birth control and all of this together makes me want to kms.

No. 300638

Wear a wig and get on a diet before you turn around and realize you've gained 100 pounds and you're really in a "kill yourself" situation.
You could lose that weight in a couple months if you buckle down now.

No. 300643

I bought into the wig meme but I can never get them to look remotely natural or realistic, even following YouTube tutorials, I can’t get wigs to work for me. I’m also dieting (relapsing) so I think we’re probably on the same page. I don’t want to feel as ugly as I do anymore, it’s not something I’ve ever felt before this year and it’s pretty overwhelming. Honestly think I’ll end up just bleaching my hair again so I can feel remotely like myself again. Probably get a nice chemical haircut out of it, but at least I won’t hate everything I see in the mirror.

No. 300644

you should probably avoid dye unless you want a cue ball look anon. just chop it off and let it grow back naturally. its just hair…

No. 300646

Sorry if I sounded mean with the shaming part, you did not sound like the type of person at all but from my experience I know that some family members say things like 'how can you do this to me' or 'this helps nothing' etc. because they believe it helps. Does the psychiatrists offer therapy or just medication (here it's just the second but I know in the USA it can be both)? Cause maybe despite medication she is not taking care of the psychological issue that makes her want to harm herself. Therapy could be really helpful, but of course it requires time and running into a therapist that you click with. Obviously she must want that for herself and it's not an instant cure… It just seems to me that she has a really troubled mind.

Does she go to drug or alcohol rehab or do you have those for selfharm too (sorry, stupid question)?

No. 300650

It’s just hair but it changed the way I look drastically. I know it might seem dramatic and maybe it is, but I actually used to like the way I looked before. I’m venting because I know there isn’t a whole lot I can do, and for the past year I’ve kept pretending it’s okay, but tbh my appearance is depressing, to me and me only. I wish I could just ignore it.

No. 300658

I'm just so fucking done with straight girls acting like they're into women/"all genders" yet they would never a.) have an actual serious relationship or b.) have sex with another woman. Instead they freak out the second a woman shows interest in them and claim to be asexual/aromantic/other bullshit excuse to avoid confrontation. Afterwards they go out with a guy two months later and form a relationship on the spot. Just say you're straight for fucks sake, it's not embarrassing. You can claim gender doesn't matter to you until the cows come home but your "male only" relationship history tells tales.

No. 300661

You didn't sound mean. Its okay. She's been having therapy for a long time, it's just really really hard thing to stop I guess (as you already know). The psychiatrist is the therapist and medication subscriber. The rehabs are for drug and alcohol, I don't think I've ever heard of a place just for self harm.

No. 300681

This annoys me so much. Or the girls who swear their bi but never persue women and only talk about hot girls in the presence of guys they're fucking or want to fuck.
I had a friend in hs like that and we talked for a few weeks before she ghosted me out of nowhere and got some random bf then repeat the cycle a few time until I just gave up.

No. 300704

Straight perm usually helps me a lot with my hair and makes it very soft. I would consider stopping birth control pills and make your partner wearing condoms or another non hormonal contraceptive method. I've been trought this weight gain and bloating because of pills but I'm very self concious about my body and didn't let it get too far, was the best decision I made. That way, eating a little less and healthy and making your gut work should do the job.

No. 300714

A friend basically told her bf not to invite me to his birthday. I'm just petty angry because i'm not even that close to him anyway but it stings that he'll invite some people who bullied his gf but not his gf's friend. I also think it was a dick move of hers to flat out tell him to not invite me because i'm not his close friend, and this little thing has made me reconsider this particular friendship.

No. 300724


>I'm almost sure that she wouldn't break up with him as she is a complete lazy ass and live with his money but if I were in her place I'd wish to know with whom I'm living with and I don't like men doing good decieving others like this.

>O think that she would care a lot and be really angry as she never knew this kind of atitude of her husband before.

No. 300754

maybe she think you gonna hit on her man? she seems awful though.

No. 300773

I'm tired of my friends reminding me they have so much money than me all the time when they don't have to pay for rent, bills or any of that. Ffs do they even know how much groceries cost at this point? I wish I could buy nice clothes every week or go out to eat every night as they do, but I can't, even if I get myself a better job, it's not enough and they fucking know it.

No. 300776

stop being bitter about your friends.

No. 300782

That sucks anon. Some people are clueless. But, you can’t pick the hand you’re dealt. I know you’ve probably heard this before, but comparison is the thief of joy. Try to appreciate your accomplishments and ability to be independent.

No. 300801

I'm really sick of coming off as a snobby, stuck up bitch when in reality i'm super nice just shy and reserved. Pretty much all of my friends and guys i've dated have told me I was super intimidating when they first met me and they thought I was a bitch until they got to know me better. From what I can gather and what my friends have told me I seem unapproachable because i'm tall, fairly confident, assertive… i'm just sick of people assuming im some mega-bitch who is full of herself when really i'm just shy and good at acting confident. I'm moving to a new city soon and worried about how to make new friends/meet guys if I don't have my old friends there to vouch that im not really a huge snob

No. 300907

If they're gloating about their wealth on purpose around you, maybe you need better friends. From my experience, those that have to flaunt their wealth do that to attract [fake] friends and are vain.

No. 300909

Damn that is awful. See if you can still go to his birthday just to piss her off, it'll be funny.

No. 300910

I have the exact same issue. Was told that smiling more helps, but idk

No. 300938

I don’t understand how my coworkers decide that one person is fun to be around and another isn’t. They seem to decide who to like and who to dislike almost arbitrarily.
>Person A: friendly, eager to help, nice sense of humour, but as the responsible party needs to sometimes remind people to clean up after themselves in our shared workspaces for hygiene and safety reasons
>considered a huge bitch who people avoid sitting next to at lunchtime
>Person B: always in a sour mood, will mock people she’s meant to supervise for asking questions and insult them when they ask for help, constantly complains about everyone and everything and her sense of humour is always at the expense of others
>considered a fun person to be around who gets invited to every party
Why? How? I have more examples like this where people who are friendly but quiet get nasty gossip spread about them while people who will literally insult you to your face and make sexually inappropriate an misogynist remarks are considered “sweet boys”. Am I working in opposite land?

No. 300942

File: 1538033385784.jpg (599.18 KB, 1280x1014, 1280px-Van_Gogh_-_Starry_Night…)

I hate how pretentious people can get around anything cultural. I hate how you can't say you enjoy mainstream stuff without getting a little snide smile, sorry I do fucking enjoy Van Gogh and Picasso, I don't feel the need to name drop an obscur contemporary tchetchen artist to feel good about myself. There is a reason Monet, Cezanne, Matisse, etc, are big names, it's because their work was not only beautiful but also fresh and transformative, yes everyone has seen the starry night a billion time in their life, and guess what? I'm still amazed at its beauty every single time I get to see it, and I hope it will stay this way until I can't see anymore. Blasé isn't cool.

No. 300945

I honestly don't get why people think it's okay to just blatantly ignore messages. Like I get you don't want to see me again, but ignoring someone is just unnecessarily cruel imo. At least give me some shitty excuse so I can get the hint if you don't have the balls to be honest.
Literally anything is better than ghosting and yet so many people do it. Ugh I feel so inadequate..

No. 300947

so you really don't understand that what you listed for Person A are annoying nerd traits for Person B, cool traits? no wonder you get avoided

No. 300953

Well let's see here
>spend time writing up a rejection message that's nice and kind but not so nice as to make them hopeful that something can happen between us, only to be called a fat ugly whore and harassed, perhaps even stalked
>Block them and enjoy the rest of my day in peace and quiet
Really difficult, that one

No. 300970

I've been ignoring my best friend for 3 months now who lives in a different country and my other friends for nearly 2 years now. fml. It's always so awkward at the start with my best friend cos its like umm sorry I haven't spoken in a while? its nothing to with you etc etc.. she doesn't really get angry at me but I'm scared she will every time which makes me avoid talking to her even more. Idk. I do this periodically, go long periods of time without contact and I'm terrified every time is gonna be the last time she puts up with it but at the same time I'm the only person who has ever stayed with her. She has problems keeping friends. I've been the only constant in her life since we were kids.

No. 300971

Person A politely asks people to do their job halfway decently so they don’t spread infection to the incubators and fuck up years of work. Person B calls interns fucking retards for not having telepathic knowledge of where every little reagent is kept on their first day. If my coworkers hate people just for being “nerdy” then they really picked the wrong career.

No. 300984

I'm gay and i think her bf is ugly as sin. I think he looks like Onion.

I'm not that level of petty and i kind of still respect her so i think i'm just gonna put this particular friendship down.

No. 301013

File: 1538044161094.jpeg (124.36 KB, 637x1045, E6A52285-45C6-4606-BFE7-4A10EE…)

I want metoo to fucking go away already I’m sick of hearing all these descriptions of rape and sexual assault and people talking about coercion and men’s rapey behavior that they consider normal it always reminds me that I can never really know the truth if I was raped and I have to feel these horrible feelings every time.

I guess I should feel happy that my ex is probably super on edge thinking I’ll call him out any day now as part of some hashtag movement but I can’t cause I just feel miserable and cornered. I tried to be the perfect victim so hard and not tell anybody but it just blew up in my face.

No. 301025

I'll never know if I was really raped or not too anon. I'm sorry that happened to you.

No. 301028


Stay strong anon. Also
>the fantasy of having a boyfriend who'd actually care and would want to provide a bit more.

The fantasy just starts now. Now you can get out there and find a great boyfriend, although I wouldn't advise you to rush it. Take time to appreciate yourself. He'll come back crawling soon (I always give 2 weeks then 3 years, it's always been the golden ratio of my exes) so make sure to be prepared to turn him away.

All this time you've been wishing for something that is not happening. It's like you buying a green tank top and trying to dye it yourself and make it a blue sweater.

Also btw if he really wanted to get you a ring he'd have done it. If he was truly clueless but well meaning, he'd have asked one of your friend. All these things he could have done but didn't do, don't forget them when he comes back crying that he realized the errors of his way and "changed".

No. 301030


I am so sorry for what happened to you guys. I belueve there is no really raped, either you were or not. Seems like it happened to you.

You reminded me of how I was annoyed by a girl from my uni who felt compelled to make #metoo post on facebook about being catcalled or something. I know I should not be, but I found it really annoying and attention whorey. Maybe cause she posted it on fb where her random acquaintances (and not people browsing the tag or her followers) could see. The fact that it was such a minor case of experiencing sexual harassment made it more annoying too.

I know I should not feel like it, but in my eyes the post read like she wanted to get some free feminist cookies for being a victim too. The post was really self-centered. On the other hand, I do know the point of the movement is showcasing how common sexual abuse is, so I am probably a shitty person for wanting her to stfu or go rant somewhere else where I won't see it and it actually is relevant.

No. 301041

This week I'm being harassed on social media by my ex (who I dated for years, until a few months ago, and lived with.) He keeps making new accounts on everything to get around my blocks. He's sent every person I've ever said anything negative about exactly what I said, going back as far as a year (yeah, I probably deserve it for gossiping at all, but still.) Spam reported my online accounts. Sent a guy I'm currently getting to know compromising personal messages to try to make him stop talking to me. Basically made sure I know he'll never leave me alone even though he's the one who dumped me.

His harassment points lean toward MGTOW stuff. I've seen all these talking points online from robots, but seeing all of them used on me by someone I used to live with and make dinner for and stuff is weird. I would be lying if it said it didn't make me believe maybe I was fucked from the start and my brain is wired the way he thinks it is. I'm at a place where I wish I had just never been conceived or had been aborted or something.

No. 301048

I live in a city where the university presence is felt a lot. There are lots and lots of social activists, anarcoids, feminists, ecologist and all sort of "socially engaged" people. It is basically impossible to attend seminars etc without them being in a way or another involved in immigrants, gender etc themes. It's frustrating. If you're not part of them then you're a selfish, racist, classist and misoginist asshole who'd let jews being deported.
I just want to study for knowledge sake, I want to do whatsoever kind of research and be free to chose what I want to do.

No. 301049

File: 1538052887201.jpg (45.21 KB, 637x960, 1529996979930.jpg)

>something awful happens in my life
>friend asks what's up
>be honest
>'that's horrible! i'll come visit you'
>day they're supposed to visit comes and goes, no word
>gets back to me a couple days later
>'sorry i've been so busy'

I really don't get people who offer to hang out and then pretend they're too busy for it later. Either admit you did something like forget, or that I'm not important enough for you to make it a priority.
I wouldn't take either personally, I just find the 'I'm busy' excuse annoying when I wasn't the one who pursued their company to begin with lmao. God, it sounds so narc-y too…

No. 301173

I got into a fight with my sister around a month ago, about how she talks shit on me all the time and is generally a bitch for unknown reasons. Her son wasn't there when we were fighting. Her son used to really, really like me hasn't even said hi to me since. He used to ask to play videogames or just pop in to tell me about whatever he's interested in and now it's like I don't exist. The fight turned into a conversation and I mentioned how I feel excluded from the family, how my parents don't buy me any food, etc. Now I feel like it secretly made her happy seeing me in pain, and she or her equally awful boyfriend told her son not to talk to me to make me feel even more alone. She's a shitty mom for various reasons so I consider both of us NEETs, that's why we're both living at home if there's confusion there. I live with my boyfriend half of the time and that's why I'm not starving to death, and plan on moving in with him soon so I can get out of this toxic fucking house. Am I just being paranoid? I don't think I am.

No. 301311

File: 1538069097151.jpg (78.06 KB, 640x640, a8367387990b385c07438d1cbb4e0f…)

I used to be so jelly of thotties with cute belly piercing but I have a flat stomach now and I'm soon going to have one. So ready to become even more of a basic bitch. I heard it hurt like hell tho.

No. 301353

File: 1538071574992.gif (51.04 KB, 500x376, 1534485731097.gif)

I'm 19 now and I still experience no sexual attraction at all. I never get turned on and the thought of sex is kinda gross to me. I guess I'm asexual and I've kinda accepted that I'm probably never going to be in a relationship because of it.

However, I wonder if I was "born" asexual or if me taking antidepressants since I was 14 fucked my libido up forever. I've stopped taking them for a year now but still experience no attraction or sexual desire at all.

Is there anyone here who can share their experiences with antidepressants. Did your libido go back to normal after you stopped taking them?

No. 301358

On what planet is this a vent? Good for you, but come back to us when that shit gets infected. Or don’t. Begone thot.

No. 301371

My first boyfriend of about 10 months just broke up with me, because he apparently doesn’t feel the same way about me like he did when we started dating. He said he doesn’t feel the spark anymore. He wasn’t even that great or anything, but yeah. Shit hurts man. I think I’m just the most upset/mad at myself for letting him drag me along for those months when I had a feeling he never cared, and would ask him if he did repeatedly. We’re still friends now, it’s been two days. We text but Idk if he’s still down to hang out. But honestly idk what to do. Do I stay friends with this guy I still want to be with? Do I distance myself? Man this sucks. How do I get over this guy? It’s already so hard for me to meet people and I just feel so lonely. It’s pathetic, I know. But that’s just how I feel .

No. 301375

This thread isn't just a negativity circlejerk, anon. You can vent other emotions.

No. 301382

I'm nearly 21 and I've never had a boyfriend. I don't know why guys don't like me. Even when I was at my skinniest 132lbs feeling and looking my best, a few boys still made fun of me randomly from across the room at this party. I wasn't even doing anything but standing there laughing and talking with some other girls. Sometimes I don't understand what is so mockable or horrible about me. I don't have any face deformities. Rationally, In the face I'd say I'm average. Not the ugliest but not a "stunner" either. Boys have always bullied me though. It sounds retarded but it's made me really jaded and distrustful of men cos I constantly think they're just going to make fun of me so I don't even bother talking to them cos I get so uncomfortable, I turn into a mute statue, I remember I went on a trip with a group of people and a guy asked me if I had Aspergers. My family and friends think I'm lesbian because I completely ignore men, have never had male friends and have always preferred female friends and company.

I've also never allowed myself to like a boy because I know they'd never like me. It's like self preservation. So I never really had crushes either. I feel so disconnected from normal experiences everyone has. I feel like I'm not a real person and I'm going to be alone forever.

No. 301384

>>301353 hey anon, I was in a similar boat. I was on medication (anti depressants) and then birth control (to stop my periods), I had a lot of stuff going on in my life, but when I was 22 I had stopped taking the birth control and the anti depressants - and I wasn't depressed any more, which probably helped - and my libido magically appeared for the first time in my life. It's not exactly the same as you but some people just are late bloomers, whether due to medication or just how we are or a bit of both. I thought I was asexual too for a long time.

No. 301386

Didn't want to necro the brag thread for something like that.

No. 301390


Taking antidepressants for 4 years magically killed my libido last year. I went from someone with low but existing libido to an asexual. I hate sex because I get nothing out of it and it hurts sometimes. I want to make my bf happy though.
I'm trying to switch medication, hope it helps. I don't think I can survive without antidepressants…

No. 301392

I took Lexapro for three years in my teens and feel like it did stunt my sexuality for a while. It only took about a month for me, after which I felt like the floodgates had opened and I finally felt what it was really like to be horny. It may take you more time since you were on them longer. As far as the idea of sex with other people goes, I think I'm still confused even though it has been years since I took it and I'm in my early 20s. I'm not entirely sex repulsed but I feel like I'm going through delayed puberty psychologically. Are you taking birth control? I think that was what made me depressed in the first place. I would focus on general wellness now just to rule things out, eating well and exercising. Otherwise, if really it distresses you I would talk to a doctor about it.

No. 301405


My libido suddenly returned after 6 months off meds. I only took them for a year though, and not in my teens.

No. 301422

yeah, I try to be more outgoing and smile but I feel like then I just come off as fake. It's also soooooo exhausting. Recently I went to a meet up at a bar for a podcast I like to try and challenge myself to talk to new people and I was so exhausted afterwards

No. 301445

I'm sick of acting like a normal, polite person with people I don't know yet, only for them to tell me that I give them the impression that I'm very shy and introverted. I just started a job with people who already know each other and have inside jokes and all that and while I don't have a problem at all getting along with them I don't understand why they think I'm shy and easily embarrassed just because I don't understand their inside jokes yet.

No. 301450

I've got the worst lower back pain and I don't know where it started from but I can't move or do anything without groaning out in extreme pain and discomfort, it hurts so fucking much I can't even get myself up off the toilet seat. Googling lower back pain has made me freak out cos it could be spine c*ncer or kidney problems

No. 301454

maybe you have just "sprained" or stressed that area somehow? have you been lifting anything heavy or stretching in an unusual way or something? it sometimes happens to me bc i have no back muscle and also hyperlordosis kek

No. 301456

Did you have chicken pox as a kid? Because if so, it could be shingles. When I got it, it hurt so bad that my gp thought I had a hernia.

No. 301459

I feel that most people who "shitpost" really disgusting, wrong, or downright bad opinions here actually mean them. I don't know how it ever became a meme that 'trolls' don't mean what they say, but if someone dedicates hours of their time constantly replying and being adamant on certain beliefs, then that isn't what trolling makes. They are being dead serious and just want to get away with saying what they can't irl.

No. 301462

agree. usually trolls just say one thing to rile people up and that's it. constant infighting or arguing a point is just craziness.

No. 301463

I had to clean a rat cage today but the cage and stuff isn't heavy, there was no "owww" moment. It just started earlier tonight. Ahh I took a tramadol and not even that is helping dI can't even move to switch sides to lay on. This is fucked
No I didn't.

No. 301466

I think i might be gay instead of bisexual and it's fucking me up

No. 301467

File: 1538078288802.png (181.65 KB, 500x629, 1511592633205.png)

i want to shave all my hair off mainly because i am very stressed, it's falling off and thinning along with a hairline that keeps receding…though im sure itll make me ugly and my crush will stop talking to me.

No. 301468

File: 1538078326183.jpg (159.5 KB, 640x404, deco.jpg)

yeah, probably

No. 301471

Same. I am very very stressed and think shaving my head will take some stress off my shoulders. My friends have begun to call me Brit before i even did the deed but i'm going to do it anyway.

No. 301478

File: 1538078838781.png (96.87 KB, 689x473, 1522551208393.png)

absolutely not relevant to you if you don't have a spinal deformity kek but hyperlordosis anon here and if I am "vertical" for longer then normal (like walking around and stuff) then my lower back is killing me too.
Back stuff is serious though so pls go to your gp if it does persist, literally the worst body part to hurt bc you can't do anything if it does.

No. 301626

The past few days and especially today have been fucking me up. The whole situation with Kavanaugh and Ford is fucking me up real bad, I'm so inspired by her strength and her giving testimony today but it really upsets me because it reminds me of things that have happened to me in the past. I've been trying to stay off social media but I've seen so many comments of people saying things like "oh clearly she's a fucking liar trying to ruin his life," even from people who I know personally and never thought would be like that. I clicked on an instagram post today comparing today's hearing to Anita Hill's testimony and the comments made me cry, I was so disgusted by what people were saying about her. And it's even worse because I'm sure Kavanaugh will be confirmed to the Supreme Court, even though he was crying today over how this has ruined him and his family ~forever~. I just can't stop thinking about it today ugh.

No. 301628

File: 1538092495216.jpg (7.34 KB, 360x360, the-evidence.jpg)

I feel like the worst person in the world
>be me at the gym
>trying a different branch than my usual one
>rush hour and low end neighborhood so the clients are kind of dumb and loud
>staff only pays attention to their friends
>work out
>fucking people cant even follow instructions to change exercise anti clockwise in the 30' circuit
>go to the baths
>see an open backpack with a whole piece of toilet paper inside of it
>it's one of those large rolls designed to not be stolen
>looks like the gym staff are not storing them properly
>take a bath
>roll still there visible to everyone
>bag's owner not even trying to hide it
>leave the bathroom
>pissed off because I want to ask a question but the front desk is full
>finally someone pays attention to me
>decide to tell them about the toilet paper problem because why not
>feeling good and ready to go home
>manager stops me all tensed up and asks me to snitch who was the women stealing paper
>all eyes on me
>lie that I didn't see who it was and just describe her bag
On my walk home feel crappy the whole time thinking how if they spot her she could lose her membership, or maybe she was an cleaning employee and I could have just costed her a job.

I don't know why didn't I just kept my mouth shut. It's not like I never stole dumb shit like that back in the day because some impulse control issues.
Maybe I'm just an asshole and did it for attention of the fucking front desk employees because I'm THAT starved for human interaction and validation.
I should have just lied that the women had gone home already.

No. 301642

My SO said he was heading home “soon” at 8:30pm. Didn’t hear from him for awhile, and I finally called at midnight to see where the hell he was. He apologized and said he was walking to a tram. 12:30am and he texts that he got on the wrong one and will be home soon. It’s now 2:30am and he isn’t home/isn’t answering his phone. I’m genuinely worried but also super pissed. I’m trying to keep my anger on the back burner in case he’s in trouble or hurt but I’m just a clusterfuck of emotions right now. He knows how much I worry. He has a habit of staying out too late when he goes out with his stupid friends. He’s had his shit stolen while drunk before. And he’s too old to be doing this shit, honestly. It’s embarrassing. But, I feel like such an asshole because I have no idea if he’s hurt and at some hospital or even in jail (super hard to get arrested for being drunk here, though, so he’d have had to do something really stupid). I want to wait until he’s home and safe to be angry but I don’t know how to feel. I’m just exhausted and freaking out.

No. 301649

Update: his phone is dead (or someone stole it and took the SIM card out) so I can’t even call him or receive calls from him. I’m trying so hard not to be neurotic but I’m very worried about him.

No. 301659

if this is planet fitness, just saying, no one uses those 30 minute circuits clockwise or counterclockwise, people just use the machines of their choice. plus, not everyone wants to necessarily do a full body workout in there. i only use them to get away from the burly dudes in the main section that i feel like are always judging me for being puny

also, why would you even care? lol like if it's a big gym who cares about one roll of toilet paper? cant help but lol @ people embarrassing themselves over 'helping' big companies like these big companies could ever gaf about you

No. 301667

Interesting… can you post again when you find out what happened?

No. 301669

Is it definitely dead and not just off? Just curious, I don’t know how to tell the difference

No. 301671

I’m extremely pissed about this too. Kavanaugh came in going from furious yelling to sniffling (with no tears??) back to yelling… and when actually questioned he was making bitchy retorts, nervous laughing, and rambling like a fucking psycho.

People are calling him “authentic” and “showing his anguish”, but you know if a woman acted like that she’d be called hysterical and not believed for even one second.

All I saw was a privileged asshole who got what he wanted all his life, finally being challenged on something and backed into a corner having a total meltdown.

No. 301674

Not planet fitness, I'm not even in the US, and the 30' thing was with props and a trainer giving instructions and people just ignoring them or not understanding what anti clockwise means.
Tbh I don't care about big corporations in theory, but if it's a situation involving other people and I'm already stressed I tend to revert back to my craving for praise bootlicking brainwashed highschool self, or sometimes the hidding in the bathroom\fire stairs for 1+ hours self.

No. 301675

File: 1538101854291.jpg (24.34 KB, 750x375, 5bad32b29c5d67fb118b456f-750-3…)


I'm glad someone else feels the same way, today has been so hard for me and someone in one of my classes even made a joke about how he would have never done that because she's ugly. She did such a good job staying calm and collected during her testimony, he was being ridiculous… but women are too emotional for politics right? He will still be confirmed I'm 99.99% sure. It's heartbreaking. It's shit like this that makes women not want to speak up when something happens to them

I regret reporting my rape to my university so much. The guy who did it to me got off with a warning for entering the dorm building using someone else's keycard meanwhile I had to do alcohol counseling and was put on disciplinary probation (on my permanent transcript) because I was drunk when it happened and the university found a liquor bottle in my dorm. No one witnessed it happened therefore the university didn't believe me and they urged me not to involve the police (I was barely 18 and stupid and thought I had done something wrong). I had proof of text messages of me telling him to not come over because I was too drunk and to leave me alone, still he came in when I was passed out and my stupid fucking roommate let him in because he lied and told her I wanted him to come over (she left him alone with me and I woke up with his dick in my face). I went to a really small university and ended up transferring because everyone found out about it and I was basically an outcast. Sorry to post about it I just needed to get it off my chest, I haven't thought about it in probably 3 years.

No. 301695

So sorry that happened to you.

No. 301752

It wound up just being dead and not off and he’s okay, thank goodness. It was apparently a combination of just staying out until after midnight (we found out his brother is in rehab yesterday, and yeah this was a shitty way for him to cope, but I can sympathize) and the night trams/buses changing and him just not being able to get home after trying multiple routes and Google maps shitting up. I was like, “just call an Uber wtf” but when he got home he was sober and exhausted so I was just happy he was okay and not, you know, dead. We talked about it and about his brother and he just kept apologizing for making me worry and being careless. He’s an idiot sometimes and has like no concept of time, but he is a genuinely good person. I’m just happy he’s okay and didn’t wind up at a hospital or something. Thanks for the concern, anons. Means a lot.

No. 301961

I use incorrect grammar because I'm from the ghetto and it has just become a habit over the years. I know what words/grammar I should be using but it just always comes out the wrong way because the way I was raised. I try to change it but a still screw up. The issue is over the past month or two my husband has been getting really pissed of about it, he even said last night that he regrets marrying me because I'm ghetto and uneducated. I wonder why he would wait until after we are married for this to be a big deal to him, I've always talked like this. Also, because of my Ana brain and eating less than 500 calories a day sometimes i stutter or repeat words. Yesterday my bf was asking me my email and I said boobooboo instead of booboo and he flipped out on me because he knows there are only two booboos in my email instead of one, he started calling me stupid and uneducated. He says he doesn't have any big issues with me but he says all the small things I do add up and he's sick of me. At this point I don't even talk to him or share anything with him because he's always right. Any disagreement I have is because I'm uneducated and stupid. Last night I showed him a picture of Lisa from black pink and said I'd love to have that organs hair color "then he said it wouldn't look good on you and it doesn't look good on her. It stands out too much" then I said "I don't think it would stand out because women at work have crazier hair colors than that" then he tells me I'm arguing with him and i tell him that disagreeing with him doesn't mean I'm arguing, after I say this he tells me to read a dictionary. I pull out a dictionary and showed him the definition of arguing then he calls me a idiot for following our dates meanings of words.

No. 301963

he sounds like a fucking asshole and a piece of shit and you deserve better.
consider divorce if possible or at least marriage counseling (if there is anything to save there, which I don't think from what you said, but…).
Also get help for your ana issues.

You deserve so much better, anon.

No. 301972

I suggest marriage counseling as well. I don't even really talk to him anymore because he's always upset about something. There's also no discussing anything with him because he feels he's always right and he always goes back to the fact that he went to university and I didn't.

No. 301995

At this point suicide becomes more and more like a realistic option for me. I'm 27, I can't imagine anything would get better for me. I'm just going to get uglier and lonelier. I might just off myself around the age of 30-34.

No. 302036

Anon, I bet there's at least one person on this Earth who would go mad with grief if you were gone. Hang in there for whomever that might be.

If there's one thing posting here should teach you, it's that men and looks won't automaticaloy make somebody happy or a good person.

I daresay some cows are pretty. Some could have any guy they wanted. But they're horrible people who damage every life they touch, including their own.

You have value, Anon. Even if you think you don't, you do, I guarantee it.

No. 302193

I wish I had a gf. I’m bi, but I’ve never seriously pursued other women. I always just had fleeting crushes/thought a girl I saw was pretty. I’m 21 and in a 3+year relationship with a guy, but over the past few months i find myself fantasizing about women in a non sexual way. I think about being romantic with another woman, getting her gifts, showing her acts of affection, taking her out, being mushy and intimate without being sexual. I can’t help but feel a relationship with another woman would be more emotionally fulfilling to me, but I don’t want to abandon my current relationship just to find out. I don’t think I could find a better man than my bf on the dating market no drinking/drugs/no porn/gender crit/never yelled at me/stable/mature/etc if it didn’t work out. I wish I took more time to figure myself out before finding “mr.right”.

No. 302203

The people in the dog hating thread legitimately sound delusional. Do they realize?

No. 302206

Not at all. You think someone who can and does call someone else a dogfucker and say they are creepily projecting in the same sentence is a healthy well adjusted person?
They’re so delicate the existence of a dog nearby sends them into fits of tearful, shaking rage as they compulsively scream that strangers are insane monsters who have sex with dogs.

No. 302207

how do they sound delusional?

No. 302210

Where did anyone call anyone a dog fucker

No. 302211

Caps please

No. 302215

File: 1538180475664.jpeg (61.17 KB, 747x382, DE7D11F4-AB2B-4884-BA9A-6E52BC…)


Dang you’re lazy
30 seconds to find someone saying it

Go sook about it in your containment thread. The infighting between dog haters and dog lovers is pathetic.

No. 302216

if that anon is the OP of the dog love thread, I jokingly called her one in the meta thread. guess she was too autistic to tell I was kidding.

No. 302218

Sorry if that struck a nerve, anon ówò are you coming here to cry about it too? Are you going to bitch about dog hate in every thread on the site?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 302219

Go back to your containment thread instead of constantly shitting up meta as well as the vent thread, and the pet liking thread.

It’s not the only time people from your animal hating club try to be Le epic troll by calling people dog fuckers and narcissists. It’s so obviously deliberate and so petty and you’re just..committing yourself to it as though it’s an important or interesting opinion and not just two groups of autistic garbage seeing who can scream reeee the loudest.
No wonder the mods don’t moderate at all anymore.

No. 302221

You're acting like this person was legit calling someone a dogfucker. It was obv meant to be OTT insult, something that's very common on chans. Are you new to image boards or something?

No. 302222

Post better quality bait.

No. 302223

File: 1538180924975.png (415.04 KB, 1826x558, Screen Shot 2018-09-28 at 8.21…)

>crying over how they saw a dog in public
>crying over how people make jokes about cats
>crying over people loving dogs
>crying over anons making a thread to post dogs and give advice
>crying over their friends having dogs
>everyone who owns a dog is a narcissist

It's just so…weird to me. I can't imagine devoting that much energy to hating an animal. There's no cat hate thread, just a dog love thread. I've known many cats who are horribly behaved and will scratch you up and bite you, but I'm not making a thread about how much I hate cats because I realize some people are just bad pet owners/some pets have rough personalities.

No. 302224

Well no, the point I made is that there are people so autistic they are actually screeching out ‘dog fucker!’
How serious they are is irrelevant when we’re discussing how they are obnoxious and deliberately posting everywhere in a poor attempt at trolling.

No. 302228

It was 1 single person saying that once. Not people all screeching all the time.

Plus you are the ones laughing about the death of an animal in your containment thread.

I wonder what is worse? hm…

No. 302229

How many times do people have to tell you retards that cats aren't foisted upon children, the elderly and everyone in general, like dogs are? There's no cat hate, hamster hate, ferret hate, because these animals aren't being shoved in everyone's faces and people aren't being made to sit next to them on planes when they're allergic or forced to eat next to them or praise and pet everyone's dog. This concept has been explained countless times but you retards still don't get it and freak out that people don't like dogs and that most dog owners are terrible owners. Society is so dog oriented that people are forced to encounter them in places where they shouldn't be. No such thing is happening for hamsters or gerbils or cats, so it's no surprise there's no similar ___hate threads.

No. 302232

dog fucker

No. 302233

File: 1538181409044.png (336.86 KB, 758x616, 1538069262705.png)

We're totez not hating cats you guys.
It's only stated in the op, oh and we occasionally also post things like pic related. But other than that not.

No. 302234

Not from either thread because both camps are embarrassing retards.
If you go through the dog hating thread there’s plenty of dog fucker comments as well as about fifty armchair diagnoses. I’m not obliged to take twenty caps to prove that some retards are saying retarded shit.

You have never been forced to interact with a dog, and only you and other dog-phobic people think the places dogs are are places they don’t belong. You don’t need to go to a park so it’s not a big deal.

No. 302235

I took a glimpse into the doghating thread and it looks like the beginning of a cult. Mods need to delete that thread already, its really fucking looney in there

No. 302236

not to mention that the start of the doghate thread was just retards spamming "I hate cats because ____"

No. 302237

Thanks for putting words in my mouth but I just said you sound like a psychopath crying about how dogs are ruining your entire fucking life boo hoo. People in the dog hating thread legit sound mentally unstable, idk how you guys get through every day life when you have a mental breakdown when you see a person walking their dog

No. 302238

Whats sad is that you can immediately tell its a troll post. Be less discreet about it next time, anon

No. 302239

Holy fuck, my sides

No. 302242


No. 302243

What else would you call it when someone is so scared of dogs they will literally refuse to walk near one on the street?
Some people are genuinely afraid of dogs anon..phobias are real outside of made-up she crap

No. 302246

They keep using the word dogfag unironically too, makes me lol

No. 302249

And you guys use the word "doggo"… kek

No. 302251

File: 1538182052327.jpeg (19.11 KB, 512x288, B3FB2CCE-5B41-4659-B7D3-F902FC…)

But it’s petowners who are easily triggered and too sensitive.

No. 302254

>You have never been forced to interact with a dog, and only you and other dog-phobic people think the places dogs are are places they don’t belong. You don’t need to go to a park so it’s not a big deal.
Excuse me? You're bitching about armchair diagnoses when you're telling people their experiences with dogs being in restaurants, grocery stores, etc, aren't real and completely denying that dogs have never been anywhere inappropriate for them? Despite it being literally in the news that dogs are allowed in stores and at restaurants?

Doesn't matter at all to you dog weirdos (obvious by your denial that dogs aren't brought to places they don't belong) that people might not feel safe or comfortable or are allergic to them, etc. What about people being uncomfortable about being sat next to them on flights? That never happens? https://viewfromthewing.boardingarea.com/2017/05/19/passenger-kicked-off-american-airlines-flight-asking-not-seated-next-large-dog/

No. 302257

What's even funny about that? Again, you sound new to imageboard culture. People are called ___fags all of the time and for anything.

No. 302258

What, you mean walking on the other side of the street when you see a fucking pitbull? I'd just call them sane.

everytime I hear the word "pupper" or "doggo" it shaves a week off my lifespan. "smol" and "birb" too.

No. 302259

Somehow I feel like y'all aren't getting out of the house enough to be viciously attacked by a dog at Tiffany & Co.

No. 302260

I love how two posts down from the anon who was bitching about armchair diagnoses there was an anon calling all da dog haturz psycopaths/mentally ill.

No. 302261

Only in your hilariously stupid country so yeah, it’s not a real problem except for the crybabies in America.

Guide dogs are necessary and if you’re gonna be upset over a blind person being able to catch a plane or eat at a restaurant or wander around the mall because they have a guide dog with them you’re a selfish pussy.

Fake emotional support dogs are frustrating, but you’re not being assaulted by their existence. If you’re allergic, you are not physically forced to interact with or be near the dog. You’re a grownup who can move away. The blind person can’t do shit without their dog.

No. 302262

Because you’re afraid of the dog breed.
And you’ve also cherrypicked a single breed that was bred for fighting. If someone crosses the road to get the fuck away from a Labrador puppy, yes, I’d say that’s a phobic reaction.

Sorry you really wanted dogphobic to be some sjw tier garbage and not just people with a phobia.

No. 302264

File: 1538182535418.jpg (89.15 KB, 720x1121, dwxsuwzctrk01.jpg)

Why do we have to justify not liking or wanting to own a dog, when they literally look like this

No. 302269

The way dogfags discuss this topic is so embarrassingly disingenuous. As if Tiffany & Co, the most high end store with few locations, is the only place allowing dogs. Right, none of us are going to Home Depot or Lowes or Barnes and Noble, or Michaels, or Ross in our daily lives.

>Only in your hilariously stupid country so yeah, it’s not a real problem except for the crybabies in America.
so the country is hilariously stupid for allowing dogs in stores and chain restaurants, but then people are crybabies for being reasonably upset about it? And wew, that strawman. No one was complaining about a guide-dog on a plane. Dogs are being brought everywhere as bullshit "emotional support animals", and even then, without the emotional support license, they're still allowed places where they shouldn't be.

But I love the dumb as fuck ways you argue, anon, I really do.

This is why people don't like dogfags. You can't even concede and admit that bringing these dogs places they shouldn't be puts these dogs, and humans, at risk. If these dogs bite anyone, they will be forcibly put down.

No. 302270

oh no some dogs are not cute. all dogs are therefore disgusting mongrels and I hate all of them

No. 302276

NTA, but phobias can be rationally justified. Dogs can't ever be truly controlled, and most dog owners are not good dog owners, so it's not 'crazzy phobic nuttiness!!' to not want to be around other people's dogs, sorry.

No. 302277

Hahah I'm sorry you're too autistic to understand me making fun of you. When was the last time a dog harassed you at home depot anon

No. 302284

No your country is stupid because of healthcare, utter lack of public education, extreme Christianity, and gun laws. America being a stupid place has nothing to do with dogs, it’s the citizens.
It’s normal and sensible for service animals to be allowed anywhere that a person who uses one could be.
Lmao blind people are a straw man? Wow.

No. 302288

Thanks everyone from the dog hating thread for coming in here and confirming my suspicion that you're mentally unstable though. Maybe an emotional support animal would help

No. 302289

I’m certain it is a common and somewhat reasonable fear, but it’s clearly not sensible when adults are saying that it should be okay to carry and use a gun if other people walk their dogs in public and the phobic person gets scared of the existence of a border collie.

No. 302292

Can you stupid fucks take your opinions to the unpopular opinion or dog hate threads instead of shutting up the vent thread, please?

No. 302294

Not Home Depot, and not a big chain, but I went to sign papers for my homeowners insurance and an agent working there was allowed by her superiors for whatever reason to bring her quite large Australian Shepherd/Terrier mix in with her, and the dog would growl if I didn't play with her/pet her, it was pretty scary tbh, being 'assured' that the dog wouldn't bite me and wasn't being aggressive, and that I "just need to play with her – she wants attention!", wasn't exactly a consolation because those vocalizations aren't typically meant for "i want attention". I don't even necessarily dislike dogs all that much, but this shit is too much. If you dogfags were reasonable, you guys would just acknowledge that for the sake of these dogs, they shouldn't be taken everywhere. None of this shit is even remotely safe for them.

Human society is too unpredictable, people are loud, people are aggressive, and you can't ever manage your dog's reactions to how people will act, and you just can't manage if your dog gets scared for no reason, etc. Imo, you guys just must not care for your dogs if you're excusing bringing them places.

No. 302298

That's not what that anon said. You're strawmanning again. She said that in the case of being attacked, because everyone and their brother does have a dog, and people often don't take care of them/leash them and can't handle them. You're acting as if she was just bringing up any excuse to use a gun on a dog.

No. 302300

I mean, your mom had you anyways, right anon?

No. 302308

Wow anon, can't believe you made it out of that alive. So happy we have survivors like you to tell their stories. That must have been so terrifying for you, you're so brave to post here!

It's almost like a dog's owner would know their mannerisms better than you, someone who clearly suffers from being fucking autistic to the point of no return.

No. 302315

File: 1538184427681.jpg (61.35 KB, 498x360, dogs.jpg)

If these trolls think dogs are dangerous to be around because 0.0001% of them manage to hurt someone, just wait til they meet a person

No. 302318

Stop bloating the thread with dog related nitpicking.

No. 302381

Unless I look for "happy sex" or "romance" I get served depraved rape hentai and this pisses me off so much, that I have to specify that I just want to read something that doesn't depict criminal behaviour instead of the real perverts having to opt-in.

No. 302383

>being upset that media that sells more is more popular than stuff you like
>being upset about hentai
not even once fam

No. 302389

File: 1538194924422.png (12.63 KB, 100x100, tumblr_inline_p0nf9h3VBw1r1g8u…)


Honestly I feel this. It's very gross that literal rape is "selling more" than regular sex. I understand that drawn media is an outlet for rape fetishists (yuck) because well, it's better than actually filming real rape (even though that still happens), but it's overabundent to the point of normalisation.

And yeah, whining about hentai and yada yada, but I too like hentai as an option to real porn, considering how many women are hurt in the process.

I guess we need more woman drawing hentai in general.

No. 302400

Do you expect me to watch porn where actual women get exploited? I know that it's shown because it's popular, it's just extremely sad to me that rape/incest/loli/shota is more in demand than just happy people fucking.

I too get that having the drawn shit can be an outlet for some (though not all, as can be seen in that bestiality thread in /snow/), but like… where are the people with the normal sexuality?!

No. 302415

I feel so done with the alternative living, natural, socialist, hipster crowd.
I love what they represent in theory, but they are so cliquish, unorganized, and some times just damn right rude.
There's this cultural center that it's kind of self run, part local gov money, and they have some cool things there, like organic farmers on demand market every couple of weeks, yoga, an open kitchen, etc, but it makes me so frustrated how the people that are supposed to be running the place are so unhelpful, ignore you and only pay any attention to their personal friends, that look like them and are mostly white and from upper middle class, it sucks how they don't even try to be professional or organized.

No. 302432

i just had this silly interaction with a guy on 4chan and i got so nervous that i just bailed out of the thread but i wanna talk to him more because i think hes an adorable sounding dork and im pretty sure i camt ask for contact info anyway but gah i feel like a little kid in highschool but my crush and i have only communicated through a tinted, glass window

No. 302437

the women drawing hentai draw gay rape.

No. 302442

It's okay, you can say "Holly Brown".

No. 302444

gay rape is p. cool

No. 302447

well sure, but like the solution to less rape isn't more women artists. artists are trying to make money (other than holly), blame the weirdos who like this shit and make it popular instead.

No. 302460

I'm so suck of running into people from school/old jobs that I lost touch with, them begging for my number/to add them on FB/IG/Twitter only for them to completely ignore me. Not a single like, comment, retweet, anything from these people. My entite social media network is mostly people from my town who never talk to me or reply to messages I send them, with some online friends who actually will and do talk to me.

I don't get it. I'm not populer and I never was, I don't have enemies, and except for some former friends who aren't among the ranks of silent followers nobody has any issues with me that would be enough to justify having access to my friends only social media, since I don't even post anything worth gossiping about.

No. 302465

nobody thinks rape hentai-reading nerds are normal anon. try leaving 4chan/tumblr/reddit once in a while

No. 302468

I feel like my mental state is deteriorating because I have to live with my mother due to my seizures being so fucking bad that I’m disabled from working in my skilled trade and I’ve been medically banned from driving for a year. All this stuff on the news about rape is bringing up horrible repressed memories from my childhood and I have my mother saying dumb shit like, “Why didn’t they report it sooner?” Golly gee, maybe they were raised in an abusove household and believed they were to blame for all the abuse they received like I was?! It’s so fucking upsetting and it’s making my depression worse, I wake up in panic attacks at night, have an increase of sleep seizures and it’s going to be a little while until I can move out of the country to be with my boyfriend. Oh and apparently, my boyfriend doesn’t exist according to my mom just because we’re long distance and haven’t seen each other in over a year due to his job and he’s not what she likes. Well, fuck you mom. Since he doesn’t “exist” you don’t have to come to our “imaginary” wedding. Honestly, with this hell I'm living I feel like I should just look into committing myself to a psych floor of a hospital.

No. 302546

I posted on the vent thread before about how all food suddenly started disgusting me, maybe a couple months ago. It still does. I am managing to maintain my weight, but I largely have to rely on starbucks drinks to meet my caloric needs. It just sucks feeling sick after consuming anything (including water), I'd say I spend 75% of the day feeling nauseous and sometimes I puke. I don't enjoy tasting anything. My doctor says it's just anxiety, but it occurs regardless of which mood I'm in and I've been dealing with mental illness for years so why now? Blood tests came out normal. The meds she prescribed me don't work. It's all maddening because I used to be a binge/fast/restrict person and this happened shortly after I decided to finally get my shit together and recover. Am I going to be stuck like this now or what?

No. 302548

What's your height and weight now?

No. 302563

just found out my ex bf was known as a pedo in high school besides the fact that he pursued me at age 13. I feel rly stupid for not acknowledging it sooner..

No. 302572

Why are you asking me this?

No. 302577

Idk where you live/if it's accessible to you but you may try seeing a gastroenterologist, binging/starving can really fuck up your digestive tract and not everything is obvious in blood tests

(source: in BED recovery and going through a similar thing, no conclusive results)

No. 302607

I may have bdd or Im just ugly as hell idk. I want to kill myself because of how hideous I am.

I went to a dr before and he told me I am psychotic. I got seroquel. I still think I am ugly and now I am chubby too. Fml.

Actually I will not an hero, its just nice to think about it. As a last resort.
Dont mind me. just wanted to vent.

No. 302642

You don't sound psychotic anon, can you try talk therapy, or even feminist therapy since you link your self worth so much to your looks, it could help you much more than meds.

No. 302678

USPS delivered my package to the wrong address even though the correct address is on the package. The tracking says delivered but I have no idea where it is now. I tried calling but all I got was generic information that I already saw online. I feel like when I finally get to the post office on Monday they won't be able to do anything and it SUCKS!

No. 302705

Usps always fucks up my package delieveries too, I feel for you anon. Hopefully your neighbors got it and are nice enough to bring it by. I had to befriend my neighbors for this reason, so if it happens a lot that’s really all I’d suggest. Usps generally gives me the ‘huh, sucks to suck’ apology, like they don’t know and they don’t care what happened to your package.

No. 302714

It blows me away that there are really people out there who don't think "I need to die", "I want to kill myself" or any variation of those things on a regular minute to minute basis.

Additionally, to the anons who are struggling with the Kavanaugh/Ford situation right now I understand completely. I'm in the same boat. its making me think about my past abuse daily. What's really screwing with me is I have never and still don't feel like I have any place to say anything because I am a woman who was raped by another woman. Society still doesn't take that kind of thing seriously, especially not when it was between children. I've told 2 friends + a therapist and it was swept under the rug like nothing and I'm just "trying to get attention" or "acting out". I haven't talked about it since. It simultaneously gives me hope and makes me jealous that woman everywhere are coming forward about their situations. Jealous because I don't believe I have the right to do the same thing. I know it's selfish and I hate myself for that but I guess that's why I'm venting on an anonymous image board instead of talking this out irl with someone.

No. 302716

I hate the Bowsette thing so fucking much. It really just exemplifies what's wrong with "nerd"/weeb culture now, it's all about men getting off on big-titty girls. It started out as a quick joke and now it's all over the internet and hailed as the greatest thing ever. The black dress look that's going around isn't even that great of a character design but it's all about moe shit now. Everything caters to men's fetishes and I'm sick of hearing about it.

No. 302723

Yeah, the original just seemed like a cute joke and now…it's all porn lmao.
It's like another Smug Wendy, although thankfully not pedoshit this time.

No. 302725

I feel you, USPS folded my diploma in half, even though the package was marked "DO NOT FOLD" and there was a cardboard backing. We had a substitute mailman dump all the packages on our route on the side of the road in the rain. My neighbor's boxes were stolen and USPS gave the same "lol nothing we can do, it's probably your fault".

No. 302726

are you still here, i know how to fix it.

just report it as missing mail. they found my package that they were going to ship back to japan and delivered it to me for free, even though i put the wrong address on it.

No. 302728

>feminist therapy
Oh wow didnt know this is a thing. Thank you. Have a nice day!

No. 302739

File: 1538258025639.jpeg (150.9 KB, 1125x638, 510B6BC9-AF39-4EF5-B74A-75ED3D…)

if I read another thing about fake ass trypophobia im going to lose it

No. 302746

File: 1538259004148.gif (5.54 MB, 270x275, 1537431893932.gif)

>friend hosts board game party
>it's in the early afternoon
>but I'm tired, tell her I'm gonna be late and take an hour nap
>show up with two cases of beer that went over really well last time
>(recently single so I just wanted to drink and have a loose time)
>some woman I don't know brought her little girl
>literal 3 year old, young enough to babble but old enough to run around and be annoying
>they also started a really complicated, long board game that will be hours to complete
>can't add more players
>couple who came late also can't play
>feel uncomfortable drinking or even lightly cursing around a fucking toddler
>also bored because I have to watch a really dry game all the way from the far end of the table

I think the mom's a negligent bitch. The husband of the couple who came late kind of got roped into being the kid herder while the mom sits her ass at the table and occasionally yells at her kid to stop being bad. She isn't friendly either, which just lowers my opinion.

Why don't people like this just hire a damn babysitter? Nobody wants a fucking toddler at a game night.
And isn't it kind of unfair to the kid who probably isn't having an insanely fun time either??? Hence why she's acting out and trying to get attention from folks?
This is just really not cool. Hopefully the bitch leaves soon, unless she's one of those dumbshit parents who lets their toddler stay up until whenever.

No. 302748

It's possible, I've been doing this forever and also went through an absolutely insane B/P spell earlier this year. I've already been to my GP twice so I guess I'll have to try the gastroenterologist. Sorry you're dealing with this too anon, good luck with your recovery and health

No. 302759

I mean I get rly uncomfortable with hokey things because my brain says parasites and disease about it but nobody needs a trigger warning for something that could make you a tad uncomfortable.
You can’t expect to ever be protected from a specific phobia anyway. It could be literally anything and the world should not hide it’s slitted spoons and beehives just because some asshole thinks their slight discomfort should matter to anyone else.

No. 302786

File: 1538262995621.jpeg (95.95 KB, 500x750, CF52D428-EA93-4287-BDD8-8207AD…)

my upper back hurts from constantly leaning in on my electronics and constant back-cracking. and it’s probably going to get worse since im going on a 2nd round of accutane

No. 302787

My boyfriend doesn't ever compliment my appearance. He will say I'm cute but meant behavior wise or generally, not that I have a cute face or a cute body or in any physical way (I'm not, so it's understandable, but I'd like any kind of compliment).
When he sends me pictures I always compliment him so much but when I send him any, he doesn't say much at all. Sometimes he even throws in a non positive remark like "unflattering" or that I look silly etc.

He's an amazing guy otherwise but I've met people who appreciated my appearance more and I can't shake off the feeling that I deserve someone who did. It sucks to feel underappreciated by the person you care about the most. I can't help but feel hideous because even if other people throw a compliment, I don't care about anyone's opinion but his and my own.

No. 302804

I really hate my job but i can’t leave it. Recently they had a large group of us testify with HR about this guy in a management position because he was making derogatory comments towards gay employees, making sexual comments towards the females and showing everyone hardcore porn on his cellphone. They told us all it was confidential and that he would be “ dealt with “ . Today he shows up to work like nothing happened, apparently they suspended him for two days and now all of a sudden he knows exactly who testified and what we all said and is doing his best to screw us over. He’s best friends with the Highest ranking manager so he’s pretty much invincible and now we’re all screwed. While i hate my job i really can’t lose it because i’ve been looking for a new one for about a year and a half now with no luck.

No. 302806

Can you get together with the other people at the meeting and raise hell with HR? I'd be furious. I'd even be looking up the legal obligations for confidentiality in those things.

No. 302822


Thanks for your reply but I tried to report it and the website said It was outside the acceptable time to submit a report. The delivery date was yesterday so I guess that means I have to wait to submit one.

Guys, I just hope whoever got my package finds it in their heart to return It to me. Based on the time I believe the package is either on my street or really close to it, too.
It wasn't an expensive item but still…

No. 302831

Contact the company you bought the item from and tell them. If they don't refund you or send you a replacement, dispute it on your credit card

No. 302834

Did you report it as missing mail? Or request redelivery?

I've done this 2 weeks after the fact.

No. 302835

it's not the company's fault, anon.

No. 302836


go there and sign up, then follow the steps.

No. 302840

I recently broke up with my bf and towards the end of our relationship, like the past year, we had little to no sex and at that it was boring.

I'm at a party right now and some thirsty dude might be willing to go back to my place. Not very attractive though, like I get a little embarrassed by the PDA he's been dishing. But like, he's tall so maybe…huge dick? Already said he has dom tendencies.

Not looking for a date, just want an eager lay who's into me. Maybe I'm the thirsty one.

No. 302841

hard pass

No. 302842

>not very attractive
>dom tendencies
Yuck, if you're gonna let some guy treat you like garbage at LEAST have some standards for him

No. 302844

seconding this. RUN.

No. 302847

You're gonna have below average sex with some random ugly guy?love yourself sis and get a dildo

No. 302849

I tried missing mail and it gave me the time error.

No. 302856

odd, maybe call the post office? your local one not the main number.

No. 302866

The posters in the furry thread are so extra, it's starting to get embarrassing. The mods should do their jobs and enforce rules in there. So many newfags..

No. 302874

What's embarrassing about them?

No. 302876

File: 1538300675504.jpeg (82.91 KB, 861x567, 35757E91-E467-4C9E-945C-345C52…)

I want to stop falling inlove, I hate these feelings. Why is loveydovey gay crap such temporary and short-lived happiness, then you get your heartbroken and its like a whole lifetime scar. I swear I’ll never ever love again.

No. 302883

I hate it for that and mostly for how fucking autistic it is.

No. 302888

Then it's not love and it's infatuation. It's obsession and hurts more when you're rejected. Pure love is happiness for the other person even if it's not with you.
Try to give yourself more realistic views of what relationships are and who the person is and what you two could bring to the table.

No. 302935

I feel like a really shitty person for this, but I think I'm starting to get kinda jealous of my boyfriend.

His career is starting to take off and he's getting a lot of recognition lately and I love it and I'm insanely proud of him because he's really good at what he does and he deserves everything & more, but I'm starting to feel kinda lost and insecure about where I am in life right now. We have different jobs but they're pretty similar and for him it was very hard to progress in his field while for me it was kinda settled since high school. Now he's doing really well and moving very fast while I've advanced very little.

The thing is if I really want to get further it takes a lot of hard work and I'm realizing it's not what I want to do with my life and don't have the energy or drive to try anymore. If I stay I'll always be depressed and tired.
But this is all I've known pretty much my entire life and I have no idea what else to do. I feel like with what I really love (music & fashion) the chances of making it are very slim, especially since I have pretty much no free time and my work schedule is all over the place, so if I really were to try I'd have to quit my job, but you can't really do anything without an income, and my city is crazy expensive. Plus if I were to quit at this point, I would never be able to get a respectable job in this field ever again, so I'd have to be 100% sure I'm done and have a plan B. College isn't an option since my school didn't really prepare me for it and I don't think there's anything that would interest me.
Basically my work right now is the only certain thing I have in my life, but already at 21 I feel like I'm done with it.

I'm not worried about my bf cheating or anything, we've been together for 7 years, since high school, and I completely trust him, I just don't want to end up just tagging along with him while he does all those amazing things and I'm doing nothing, I want us to be equals, if that makes sense. And most importantly I don't want to drag him down with my insecurities.
I haven't told him about it yet cause I have to sit and think about it a little more, but then we'll discuss it together.

oof end of vent

sorry for the blogpost

No. 302937

I wonder why anons cant stop themselves from replying to bait? Do they not realise they are the problem? I used to be for the male hate thread, but now I wish it could just be purged. There is no discussion about misogyny or societal issues anymore, just endless replies to bait.

No. 302941

I did it!

I broke up with the guy i've been wanting to break up with for 2 years now.
It was difficult because he kept emotionally blackmailing me whenever he felt ''the talk'' coming.
Either his mom would be sick or he'd be stressed or it would be around ANY holiday and he'd be sad during those holidays.
It kept being pushed out and out and he kept saying he'd commit suicide whenever i did say i wanted to break up.

This morning it finally happened.. we had another fight last night which had me in tears and feeling so tired of everything.
So this morning while knowing he had a friend in town who he can fall back on and rely on i simply told him it's over.

The difficult thing has been not looking at my phone as he's been trying to contact me on everything he can shy of showing up at my house (i live 2 hours away and he has work so i knew he wouldn't have time to show up at my door)

I'm a bit anxious about dealing with him being emotional and sad because i'm always the one who has to comfort him and i feel so guilty that i can't right now because he always tells me i'm his only reason for living
But other then that i feel so.. free and happy

It's selfish i know but i finally got rid of the biggest source of stress and unhappiness in my life

No. 302944

I've been so stressful since last year and I'm so tired of pretending I'm fine. I cried a lot of times this year and lately I cry like every day. And now when I feel stressed I have pain in my chest and as soon as my eyes get teary I get a headache. About a month ago I cried so bad that I thought something bad was going to happen to me. I hate being like this. But once I cry I can't stop. I worry that I'll have to live like this forever.

No. 302946

I wish I had a boyfriend. Or that I could be attractive to cute, nice and fun guys. I feel like a loser knowing that so many young women my age have or had boyfriends when I can barely talk to guys. I have very close friends and they like me as much as I like them but I still feel unloved sometimes. Maybe I'm touch starved or bored or whatever because rationally I know I don't need a boyfriend or a husband but I still want to be loved.

No. 302976


Anon, that's not selfish at all. I can tell how abusive and manipulative your ex was just by reafing those words.
It's not selfish to break up a relationship where he was emotionally blackmailing you, draining you, making you miserable, stressing you out. It's normal and healthy and the right thing to do.

I am proud of you and I hope you are happy from now on, and if you find a new partner, I hope he treats you right.

No. 302988

I just put Hereditary for my parents to watch, and right now at the part where Charlie is having a reaction I'm regretting it so much lmao fml
I don't think they'll get the post-horror concept

No. 302991

Can you politely explain posthorror in regards to Hereditary? I have not yet seen the movie but from plot summary it seemed like typical USA thrashy horror with body gore (which is difficult for me to withstand), so I decided against seeing it. If it's more than that, I might try it…

No. 303088

Does anyone else have backpacker/"globetrotter"/"enlightened explorer" friends out there that constantly have to talk about how many countries they've been to? I swear to god, it's never ending. Whenever I dig for more info on how long they were there, what they did, it's usually:
"Oh I had a 2hr layover in Japan so I've been to Japan now!" or "I flew in super late Friday night and left Sunday night, so we didn't do much but I SO went to France, anon. It was SO beautiful and cultured~~"

Sorry but imo, a day in a country where you did literally nothing except eat food, or a layover for a few hours where you're stuck in the airport, doesn't count toward visiting/exploring a country. I can't express it to the people around me because a lot of them are like that but it just frustrates me that they show off their "adventures" but it's the most mundane and worthless shit. They just step foot in a country and think they're suddenly fucking Buddha and add it to their scorecard of being superior.

No. 303163

Weird situation.
I’m currently in a 2 year long relationship with someone I just moved in with. I love him and he has helped me tremendously with my mental health issues , we get along fantastically and when we do have sex I quite enjoy it. In the 7th month of our relationship we were still doing stuff at least 5 times a week (we even made a chart with stickers on it for every day because neither of us could believe it) I went away for 2 months in the summer he visited it was more intense! I came back to the city after and things were at our level of “normal”. I’m hypersexual and was very clear about that. Then he got a new job he hated it. There was a 4 month period where he didn’t want to have sex at all. Luckily I could go back to my own apartment at that time. After that it gradually worked its way up to once a month! Then I went away for summer again and I think we sexted one time. Now I’m back I’m having sex 2 to 3 times a month. It’s fucking killing me! The other day we were watching something on tv that said on average women are only having sex 5 times a month and he just shrugged his shoulders at me! It seems so stupid but I had to fight back tears after hearing that. During the 4 month period we would get into fights about sex and my talking about it trying to suggest ways to improve the situation apparently made it worse. I don’t really know what to do at this point. You can’t really demand sex from someone and since I live with him now there’s really no time for me to take care of myself. I’m going crazy and I feel like there’s no solution to my problem.
Ib4 anyone comes at me for moving in with him knowing about this, I had no other option rent in this city is expensive and all my friends would be paying less than half, I also really do love him and everything is great aside from this (which may or may not have me crying every few nights out of frustration.)

No. 303166

>backpacker/"globetrotter"/"enlightened explorer" friends
the one person I know isn’t as pathetic as your example but my god I find that whole circle of people insufferable especially when they all shill their self-help/motivational sites that are all just clones of one another

No. 303177

Every time I make a garment I make it WAY too big because i can’t trust my measurements. Everything measured correctly looks stupidly small and it’s infuriating. I bought ten goddamn patterns and they’re all too big so now I need to sell off like five dresses before I can buy more fabric and try again without bdd retardation and accidentally sewing plus sizes.

No. 303186

I don't know anything about the term posthorror, but Hereditary is extremely light on the bodyhorror, gore and jumpscares. There are no jumpscares at all, and what little gore is there is very effective.

Nothing will scare me in Hereditary as the scene when the son wakes up in his room. Where a cheap horror movie would put a soundtrack or scare chord here, you yourself have to scan the background and find the thing to be afraid of, and that makes it much more effective imo.

No. 303187

Post horror?
Someone please explain. Google is giving nothing substantial, just bloggers with feelings about what’s horror and what’s posthorror. All post horror points can be attributed to most psychological horror.

No. 303189

Tbh the strongest emotion I felt during Hereditary wasn't fear, it was sadness at the son's reaction after the drive home from the party, and the mom's reaction the day after. I was depressed for the rest of the movie, something like that happening is true horror.

No. 303192

I’m literally so close to quitting my shitty customer service job.

I work as a host as a restaurant and have been doing it since January. I originally was gonna do hosting for several months and then try to become a server but that got shot down by the manager because of “lack of experience” (even though quite a few servers recently got promoted to managers and I doubt all of them have experience there). At the risk of sounding like I need to go back to the man hating contamination thread, I feel like it’s kinda sexist. Doesn’t help that all of the managers are dudes (we did have a female manager but she left to go work at the same restaurant in a different city).

I feel like I put a lot of effort into my job. Covering for my flakey coworkers all the goddamn time. Coming on my days off or coming earlier than scheduled and staying later than scheduled. Today one of the new host who’s only been there for like three weeks called out AGAIN (this is like her fourth or fifth time doing it) and throughout the lunch shift it was just me and another
girl. Working 5 hours straight without a breather. A lot of the servers are fucking flakey too but they get away with it because they’re servers and this “more important.”

I feel like a fool for putting so much effort into a job that doesn’t really give a shit about me. I know I sound like I’m making myself out to be a martyr but I feel like I put up with a lot of shit there and I rarely, if ever, get a fucking thank you. Customer service jobs usually suck ass but I have another hosting job as well and I definitely don’t put up with nearly the same amount of bullshit there as I do with my main hosting job.

I feel like just saying fuck it and putting in my two weeks notice tonight. It’s petty and impulsive but at this point, I’m almost don’t give a shit.

No. 303195

Yeah, this. The scene at the party and the aftermath made me start crying. The mom's scream genuinely fucked me up from how real and heartbreaking it sounded. The loss impacted me more than any of the gorier scenes.

No. 303199

I’m turning twenty soon and can’t help but feel like my life’s fading away and that I’ve wasted my time. I’m going back to finish up my studies at a uni I left a year ago under a new major. I felt super stressed under my first major and it was one reason out of many that led me to drop out in the first place. I won’t be starting over on a blank slate since I left with bad grades and will have to make them up.

Realistically, I’m aware that I still have time to develop a ton of skills and be a succssful adult… but I still feel like I’m behind and worthless. People my age around me have careers, skills, smarts whereas I don’t and just feel so inadequate. I wish there was a way for me to know for certain that I’ll be okay in the future, and could have a guidebook on exactly what steps I need to take to get there. I just feel so lost, delayed, and uneasy about what’s gonna happen to me.

>Do I stay friends with this guy I still want to be with?

Sorry for the late response but my answer to you would be NO (for now). Break-ups are never easy regardless of the circumstances. Please do no-contact ASAP because time and distance are the most crucial factors in helping you move on from an ex (from personal experience). Trust me, you deserve more than to be left on standby.

Anyway, I hope you’ll be okay and am rooting for you to get out of this slump.

No. 303201

has anyone had issues with an SO that was a virgin that kept obsessing over the fact that you had sex with other people, even if you didn't even want to have sex with them, even, or just stayed in relationships out of obligation? what'd you do?

mine has issues with me because of it and because of the fact that i flirted with a lot of guys that i didn't even like. i think he's borderline retarded for not being able to understand that not everyone is like him and sometimes people just flirt for fun when they don't even like people? why do i need to be punished for this shit?

No. 303204

>didn't even want to have sex with them
You mean rape? He's jealous because you got raped?
If so, that's disgusting of him.

No. 303207

yeah, i was raped when i lost my virginity but stayed with him because he basically tried to use it to humiliate me and only stopped when i dated him and i was going through serious stuff with my family who were abusive, and i guess i trauma bonded to him and at a certain point, lived w him, and i guess the sex became kind of consensual, but not really, tbh, because i wouldn't have done any of it had the rape not happened. my so was initially very understanding of the situation when i first met him 6 years ago, but i think i've hurt him so much because of all my trauma and terrible coping and just acting like an emotionally unstable fuckface, that now he just uses stuff like this against me and resents me for it.

i guess he's not so much jealous of the rape, but the fact that i had sex with him after and had a relationship with him after. i was only 16-17 and am 24 now and i still feel like i have to pay for stuff i didn't choose and even if i did 'choose' them, a 16 year old trying to escape an abusive family by dating her rapist isn't much of a choice.

i never really acted like these things bothered me as much as they did, especially to him, and i tried very hard when i first met my SO like 6 years ago, to be an insufferable 'cool girl' that was ok with sex and everything, so i think it really tainted the way he sees me and i think he thinks none of it really affected me, too. i also think he thinks i'm lying about it now because i lied about other things because he's so autismal that i felt like he'd hate me if i told him the truth.

No. 303210

>but i think i've hurt him so much because of all my trauma and terrible coping and just acting like an emotionally unstable fuckface
You were raped. You were in a horrible situation. HE DOES NOT GET TO POLICE YOUR COPING WITH THAT. I am so angry at your bf, this is entirely unacceptable.
>because i lied about other things because he's so autismal that i felt like he'd hate me if i told him the truth.
Tell him the truth. Sit him down, tell him everything. Seriously, sometimes white lies are okay, but if he'd sperg out once he knew the real you, without everything you've built up to basically appeal to him, he is not right for you. You deserve a) therapy for what you went through and b) someone who loves you the way you are. You are still young, and even if you weren't, you don't have to stay.

No. 303214

File: 1538385176352.jpg (46.91 KB, 711x716, 22046854_728849430646008_47312…)

I feel like I am going crazy because I kinda look less fat in the mirror, and sometimes my arms and legs seem thinner too… But when I go mesure it, it's the same? Is this normal? What is this madness?

No. 303216

You should really try working on yourself and not pursuing relationships w/ an apparent literal retard when you have the emotional baggage of an international flight.

No. 303217

Stop measuring yourself. Maybe your self-perception is finally catching up. There is no need to put yourself down over some numbers when you can see that you look better.

No. 303219

thank you for your advice, anon, you're very sweet.


i know, but my only issue is that i've treated him so terribly because of the way i've been abused that i can understand now why he's being like this. he has always been jealous, but because i was cheated on by my rapist ex and grew up with my father whose life literally revolved around cheating and abusing women, including myself, that's all i saw from day 1, on top of the way women are treated as so disposable, i was constantly suspicious and paranoid and tried to make him jealous and paranoid like me, especially bc he'd try to get me emotionally attached, and when we dated years later, i did start to emotionally abuse him, too.

my terrible coping has affected him, and i treated him worse than other guys that i didn't even like because i knew other guys were just flirting with me to flirt and were just pieces of shit looking to score, whereas my SO, (who was just my friend at the time) was trying to get me to commit and move in with him, marry him, etc, at like, 18, and i felt like he was just fucking with my feelings to lead me on when he knew i was vulnerable and was still being abused by my family during that time, so i kind of resented him for trying to get me to risk my safety and put all of my effort and hope into some half-baked fantasy when he wouldn't even be there for me at the end of the day, and i just didn't treat him well as a result, so he's jealous that i treated other shittier guys better.

>Seriously, sometimes white lies are okay, but if he'd sperg out once he knew the real you, without everything you've built up to basically appeal to him, he is not right for you. You deserve a) therapy for what you went through and b) someone who loves you the way you are. You are still young, and even if you weren't, you don't have to stay.

it's more the opposite. he didn't really like who i was just being because i thought it'd appeal to men, but now he refuses to believe that i'm not that person because he has read my interactions with other men. like, his whole impression of me is fucked and he refuses to believe me even though i've tried for years now to show him who i really am.

you're right though. i don't think there's anything i can say to him. he just accuses me of lying about everything and doesn't listen to me, tries to catch me in lies, has no faith in me, etc. he gets angry at me and storms off when he thinks he has caught me in a lie, even if it's an accident or just me misremembering, etc. i'm sure he's going to leave me soon anyways. i'm keeping my distance mostly because i don't think there's anything i can do at this point. thank you again for your advice, anon.

yeah, i was. i hadn't been in a relationship since the rapist because of it and had 0 plans to be with anyone aside from flirting with guys i didn't even like. my SO begged me for years to date him and marry him despite me telling him repeatedly that i wasn't ready, now he thinks i'm terrible and manipulative, etc for having been a shitty mess. i'm not going to be with anyone after this and honestly have no interest in it.

No. 303220

But all these things happened 6 years in the past, no? It's not ideal, it's not great that you treated him like this, but 6 years is a long time to rebuild trust. If there is no trust in a relatioship, what is there really?
Are you living together? How long do you need to get everything ready for seperation? Better work on it now, you don't want to have to return to your parents.
Once everything is ready and you really want to do it, make a clean cut. Sit him down, break up with him properly, and remove yourself from his life. First so he knows it's over, and second so you won't get roped back into it, because you don't seem to be right for each other. You deserve someone who trusts you, and he deserves someone he feels he can trust. I'm sure it's very exhausting for him as well, even though it's idiotic.

No. 303223

I've been in a position similar to yours in terms of fucked in the head and poor coping skills, but after 6 years your bf needs to fucking stop acting like this. You're trying, he's being abusive by storming out and trying to always catch you in a lie.
He was pressuring you from the start, it sounds like he's the main issue here now.

No. 303225

Jesus christ anon, you need to be single until you've had enough therapy.

Your bf is an emotionally abusive piece of shit. If you've treated him badly too it's all the more reason to dump him.

No. 303229

I’ve been having really bad invasive thoughts about my childhood SA almost daily for the last year, and it’s at its worst whenever I have sex with my partner, making it pretty impossible for me to orgasm…or even want to be touched anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I want to but then once it’s happening I just can’t get out of my head.
I know I need to see a therapist soon but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to say the words out loud. I’ve never even written them before this.
I know this will sound wildly fucked up but I almost wish my abuser had been a man.
I feel like if people knew my abuser was a woman they’d think that’s the reason I’m gay or some shit like that, and I’ve even wondered to myself what if it is?
Like it seems pretty common for young boys who are SA’d by men to turn out gay, or have gay tendencies. Or even pedophelic ones.
I feel like I can never tell my girlfriend either or else that’s all she’ll be able to think about while we’re having sex, too….
I feel like I won’t be able to admit it to anyone or talk about it until my grandmother dies, I don’t ever want to have to face the confrontation. My family cut her off years ago anyway for other reasons (psycho narcisssist, to a t), but I’m still afraid they’d all look at me differently.
I just turned 25 so I don’t know why now would be the time for repressed memories to crop up for me, I’m going to google it after this actually to see if it’s common…they say this is about the time you stop developing, maybe the two coincide…
Sometimes I just don’t even know if what I experienced is really considered SA or not either…
Consider this a trigger warning and I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, but basically my grandmother hated my mom and my stepdad and consistently called dcf on her for years, eventually they patched things up and I’d spend the night over there sometimes, but then on one occasion she
I really can’t even type it and I guess I shouldn’t anyway but she basically tried to make it seem like my stepdad had been molesting me and said she “found marks” when she was applying rash cream to me but in reality she’d done it to me with her nails.
Mind you I was like 4 and not in diapers or anything anymore so anyone doing anything down there was completely unnecessary.
Her end goal was to receive sole custody of me, which obviously didn’t end up happening…she just caused suffering which was good enough I guess.
My head feels so foggy right now even thinking about it. I don’t even want to post this because I can’t explain properly and I just want to keep asking if anyone else experiences these feelings
And how the fuck to make them stop
I don’t need closure or an apology from her or justice or anything like that, I just want to be able to have a normal intimate life without feeling like I’m being clawed up inside by her disgusting nails and having it randomly pop into my head
It was only one incident 20 years ago and it never effected me before this I just can’t make any fucking sense of it
It feels unfair and stupid and Ive even tried to tell myself my mind made it up
I would do anything for a mindwipe
Xanax helped for many months but when I stopped taking it that’s when all of my repressed issues came forth 10 fold…
I don’t know…thanks if you’ve read this… I’m sorry for adding detail, I feel like it’s cringey and a faux pas when recounting past trauma and I also feel like nobody else should have to deal with the imagery of my own issues but I just really needed to write it somewhere and this is anonymous and maybe someone will know what I mean or have some sort of insight to deal with this I don’t know

No. 303236

Read more books and that habit should control by itself. Read a lot, read also difficult texts if you can.

No. 303237

Body can change it's appearance even with the same measurements by being more or less bloated, sightly more or less muscle tissue. I'm very picky with my body and have noticed that trough the month, the level of activities I make, etc. You also can still have body dismorphia as well.

No. 303354

I really hate myself for not believing in my skills before.
I started learning how to draw a year ago and I'm so surprised how not difficult it is.

Others always told me that with drawing you either have it or not. I was told to focus on more profitable professions.

And at the age of 28 I feel like I'm too old to reach any level of mastery yet I enjoy this tremendously. But I'm angry at myself for not starting sooner.

To other younger anons, it's not too late to start a new degree, or to start learning a new skill. Whenever I get back from work, I have a huge smile because I'll be doing something I truly love. My life isn't an endless chain of grey lonely days anymore.

I posted a drawing that got huge attention (sorry for bragging) and while I know I have a long way to go, I feel like I'm in cloud nine At least I'll enjoy the praise before I see my drawings in the bad art thread lel

But I remember being 21 and thinking that I couldn't learn how to draw properly. I would have gone a long way if I didn't think like that. So, please, don't make my mistake.

No. 303430

A doctor confirmed I have blepharitis and i want to fucking scream. I haven't worn makeup in almost a year because of it and I miss it so much because i look miles better with it and was looking forward to wearing it again and now this shit. I hope it goes away jfc let me wear makeup again

No. 303438

my mom had a horrible case that kept coming back no matter and the only thing that cleared it up was hypochlorous acid spray and cliradex/tea tree oil cleanser. you should try them. a lot of the time it turns out to be demodex but none of the docs even did a slit lamp test or brought up a demodex infestation until she brought it up. it's worth a shot. the products are cheap and you can buy them w/o a prescription

No. 303439

Hey anon, I was also SA'd by a fellow female when I was a child. She was only a bit older than me, not an adult like your situation, but it was still traumatizing nonetheless. I can relate in the way the issues came back to haunt me only when I was well into adulthood. I can't experience sexual activities without my senses going crazy or being in an immense amount of pain.
I haven't figured out how to really deal with everything yet but I just wanted to let you know that you are very valid and no amount of time nor your attackers gender/family ties negates what you went through back then. You're not alone and I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Have you ever tried to talk to a therapist about this? I was against therapy myself until a couple years ago and even though it was very tough to start, I found that a huge weight was lifted off after I just got everything out. It didn't make it all better of course but I think it was a good first step. I'm still struggling but I feel getting that initial load off to someone that I knew had to keep my info confidential was important to personal self growth.

No. 303440

File: 1538419845050.jpeg (157.02 KB, 1200x886, D0A49816-B9DB-4B9C-9CF4-8A09FB…)

I don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve got a full time job, pay my rent and bills, and after that, I can’t afford anything else. I can’t buy makeup, clothes, hair care, home decor, even groceries. I’ve actually lost weight because most days I’ve got an empty fridge and can’t afford to eat anything. I’ve got a number of spiraling health issues that I’d love to see a doctor about but no health insurance and frankly no money to pay for anything if I was prescribed it. Honestly, for the first time in my life, I don’t want to die, but I don’t think I can actually afford to live. I want to believe better days will come but I’ve been in this hole for years and don’t see any way to make more money or better my situation. I want a nice house and to look put together at least, but as it is I have absolutely nothing to show for the work I put into being an adult and taking care of myself. Im getting old and most of my friends are married and have houses their parents paid for and kids and sit in their asses all day watching the Kardashian’s. It makes me so bitter and miserable that I’ve never and probably will never be above the poverty line.

No. 303460

I'm struggling in the same way anon, I can never afford anything nice unless I pay with credit. And now I've sunk myself into thousands in debt and can't pay it down due to the interest and now I have revolving credit. Like my score is still good but I'm fucking trapped.
Trapped in my debt.
Trapped in my job.
I'm just lucky I get paid vacation so for four weeks a year I can at least break routine by not going to work, but still too broke to do anything much interesting with the time.
I'm an absolute automaton for it.
Like I'm trying my best to apply for better jobs and whatnot but I'm finding out it doesn't happen overnight.

I have hurt feelings towards my friends whose boyfriends or husbands pay their way yet they still whine about not having as much money as they want or are bored because they sit at home all day. I can't even imagine what I'd do with that kind of spare time and even if I had an extra $100 a week to blow.
I want to scream. I don't want to die but I know I am just a cog working to make someone else rich at my expense. Meanwhile others get shit handed to them just because.

Anyway just wanted to say I relate.

No. 303462

Thank you, I'll keep it in mind if the first stuff he perscribed doesn't work!

No. 303472

I just posted a vent but this is completely unrelated. I wish my mom would quit picking up stray fucking kittens. She keeps bringing home these sickly strays then doesn’t care for them at all. The last time she did it, I went over to her house everyday for a month to bottle feed, clean up, and give attention to the stray. She had the gall to say the cat was mine and I was neglectful for not taking her home to my apartment where I can’t even have pets. The cat ended up running away, and now my mom has done it again. She just texted me pictures of 3 stray kittens she’s brought home again and how one of them won’t eat, to guilt me into coming over to bottle feed and clean up after and care for these kittens. I don’t even like cats that much, or dogs for that matter, but somehow I’m the only person around who gives a shit about their actual welfare. After reading this rant back, I’m realizing my moms mentality is why all five of her kids are fucked up or stunted in some way, babies aren’t a fucking accessory you can just pick up then drop once the cute factor wears off. Why the fuck is my mom like this.

No. 303475

Thank you for relating, but also, I’m sorry that you do. I hope we both find a way to survive and be happy someday. Even typing that out feels unrealistic, but I want to believe there’s a brighter future, even if it just means having an extra $100 to spend on necessities. I don’t know what advice I’d give either of us, but I just hope it gets easier.

No. 303500

Bah, Skeptics cat is so fucking cute. Why does a gross pig like him get such an adorable cat? Oh well, at least he treats it better than he treats Juwune.

No. 303534

I love when people refuse to use their big boy words and just tell me they hate me, but instead they're ignoring me and pretending I don't exist when I'm in the same room as them. Fucking incredible.

One of them also likes to try and turn art and health into a competition - I mention how I'm exhausted after waking up at 6AM to travel and do an art thing and that my health is wonky (just general small talk, really), and then he chimes in all "oh well I went to X for an art thing and I do it every month you're not special". Like… great? Good for you? He also talks about how he draws for 16 hours a day with an air of "I'm better than you" which, yeah he draws more than me but like I said before - health issues. Plus, he has crippling untreated depression and when I offhandedly mentioned seeing a fucking doctor which is something you can do for free here, he acted like I told him to eat his own shit.

I'm going to keep being a pain in their ass and forcing myself into social situations/conventions etc. with them until they tell me to fuck off. Because I'm a petty bitch.

No. 303540

Hey at least you still get infatuated with people. I haven't had a crush in over 10 years. I never like anyone enough to warrant a relationship. At least you feel something, I feel nothing.

No. 303541

File: 1538432348664.jpeg (59.82 KB, 1024x962, 49BBE10A-4351-4263-AEC3-8FC07B…)

I just read the whole animal rapist thread in /snow and I’m so god damn upset I started fucking crying. There’s so much evil and piss in this world it’s almost a relief to know that all of us are going to rot. My heart breaks knowing these innocent creatures suffered as they did.

No. 303558

I just wrote a bunch of bizarre, creepy messages on my favourite director/writer/actor's instagram pictures and it bloomed into talking all night, to now having his phone number and being really close. (platonic)
I'm floored, he wrote my favourite Adult Swim show and produced one of the most breathtaking movies recently. Now I get the inside scoop on what he's writing next and I don't want to post about it on my personal accounts, or in any way namedrop him and have him find out. But holy shit, I feel so spoiled. He is a wonderful writer and conversationalist, and he sent me merch from a show that was cancelled years ago. I needed to get it off my chest. Merch did NOT ever exist publicly, so I had to make my own toys from it as a kid. Floored.

No. 303561

Same anon. I really believe most men are degenerate inhuman fucks now.

No. 303567

who, anon?

No. 303568

File: 1538440246435.png (Spoiler Image, 3.37 MB, 520x8158, fuck this earth.png)

I usually have a high tolerance things but this has just like, pissed me off. Can you imagine men being advertised to like this? I pulled this from a blog so not pics I chosen but I made the mistake of visiting their page and they have a lot of ~feminist~ stuff inbetween images like the last one like if this was the type of "feminism" all those incels etc bitch about on youtube I would be agreeing with them, its shit.

No. 303578

pretty gross.. a million followers too.

No. 303618

File: 1538445781801.jpg (7.97 KB, 259x195, 1480287470581.jpg)

God anon I feel you so hard on this. Turning 23 this month and I'm not bad looking either just socially retarded around men so I've never had a guy ask me out unless we want to count the guy who asked me to prom as a joke back in highschool I'm just so uncomfortable around men that I try not to engage them unless I have really have to. I'm so scared of being alone but I don't know how to act normal around men either? My whole family and friends think I'm les too kek

No. 303620

I'm so horny AND lonely rightnow that I got this close to upload nude pics in /soc/
I'm ashamed

No. 303622

that's very sad. also weird. not sure how that's sexually rewarding. but please don't do that, anon.

No. 303627

Thank you for this, anon. I have the same qualms about pursuing things I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid because of the whole spiel about things “coming naturally”.
I’d much rather work hard and not be good at something til I’m 40 than continue to sit around wishing I could create, too.
I hope your art continues to grow and you keep at it.

No. 303633

To be brutally honest I wanted someone out there to fap with my pics. An unexpected new low.
But dont worry, sanity came back

No. 303641

Been there done that, I would not recommend. People on 4chan are creepy fucks and it will bite you in the ass later. If you must, I’d recommend gonewild. Still neckbeardy, but better moderation.

No. 303757

File: 1538456447911.jpg (89.1 KB, 500x402, 1502931037965.jpg)


You certainly aren't alone. Deep down I truly believe I was raped because the man who assaulted me knew full well I wanted to save my virginity for marriage (…I was young and raised Christian. I don't have the same values now but it really fucked me up at the time) but forced himself on me anyway. However I feel like unless you were raped in a super violent way people think you're lying or exaggerating so I too try to be the "perfect victim" and not bring it up unless a situation absolutely warrants it. Seeing all this metoo stuff feels like a slap in the face, even though I know that's not the intention.

Only people close to me know what went down with my assault. I was at my job one day and my (older, male) boss was talking with a customer about false rape allegations and he grabbed me by the shoulders and showed me off saying "See, Anon isn't like the other girls!!" and I know he meant it as I'm not a super vocal feminist but I just wanted to die in that moment. If by other girls you mean women who have been assaulted but not in the super cut-n-dry way then yes, I'm just like them.

No. 303893

I love my bf to bits but sex feels OK at best, boring at worst.

Thought my meds were making me feel indifferent about sex.
NOPE.jpg, I'm seeing a hot (especially his personality but also looks) guy from uni for a project and jfc I'm SO horny, though we're not even flirty or anything.

So it's not the meds, it's my relationship! Great. Not.

No. 303898

this invariably turns into men shrugging "well looks like we can't do anything about sexual assault looks like you'll just have to live with it ladies".

I've never seen one where the guy at least tried to counter with solutions.

No. 303907

If you can’t fathom why someone who’s been assaulted might not report immediately you’re retarded.
Get out from under your ancient rock and try to force a few synapses to fire.

No. 303913

Move them goalposts bby.
I never started in about some gross American guy, it’s about how dumb a person would have to be to not be able to think of a reason why a woman may not immediately go to the cops.

You clearly can’t, because you’re an idiot and very obviously a man.

Now you’re gonna reeeee about how notallmen despite the fact that false rape accusations are extremely rare. Pick a better hill to die on imo.

No. 303919

Wow fella, can you tell me what I want for dinner too since you’re such a powerful psychic?
Let me simplify things for you since you’re struggling to do anything but blather on about your personal assumptions, obvious enormous bias, and inability to answer the one question I actually asked you.

I don’t live in America, your politics aren’t important. Nobody has said ‘hey let’s not require proof for all crime!!’ I’m not saying that now.
Fuck me, I know your schools are pitiful over there but at least try for us buddy.
do you really think there is no reason a woman would not immediately report a rape or sexual assault?

If yes, you’re fuckin retarded no matter how much you project and assume and carry on like a pork chop over things that aren’t part of my conversation with you.
It’s as if having a dick has made you unable to read

No. 303923

You think rape victims aren’t threatened with violence?
You think rape victims are not financially dependent on their rapists?
You really, truly believe that no family has ever told a victim that they can’t ruin the family by reporting the uncle who raped them?
You think that no girls are so scared, ashamed, and traumatised by their rape that they can make a calm rational decision to go get the rape kit done?

You think that there aren’t victims raised on sexual abuse and exploitation who have never even known that it’s not okay for that to happen?
That’s what I asked you, you started reeeeeing over fucking kavanaugh as if it was what I asked, assuming some of the stupidest shit I’ve seen since a comment made by an incel.

I mean I don’t expect Americans to comprehend that their politics don’t matter to civil nations but you’re exceptional.

No. 303926

He most likely doesn't see rape as traumatizing or bad in any way, just an inconvenience. Don't bother, anon.

No. 303930

Bet you ten bucks he’s the same guy in the self esteem thread saying shaygnar has stretched her labia to oblivion as if that’s how vaginas work.

Being that obtuse should disqualify people from voting.

No. 303932

File: 1538472591376.jpeg (41.66 KB, 500x500, C51933CD-F144-4452-BC83-67B857…)


No. 303943

File: 1538481145033.jpg (91.09 KB, 527x938, IMG_0277.JPG)

I found these texts five months ago and somehow convinced myself I needed to stay in love with this man. He drug my name through the dirt to his friends/family and blamed my depression for his infidelity. I casually checked his phone after finding it in a weird place, I called his mother who told me I must've done something wrong, he cried when I asked why he would do this to me. I attempted suicide and was held on involuntary inpatient for three days. Since then I have made tremendous improvement with new medication, a therapist who actually gives a shit, a job I don't despise, and have lost weight.

I don't make as much money as him but I'm the only one who cleans the house. He spends his nights on Xbox playing with his friends while I sit alone. We sleep on separate couches and not the same bed. We both depend on my car for transportation. I want to get out but I don't know how. I thought I needed him but I can't fucking stand him anymore. I don't have any family and no where else to go.

No. 303949

If you have a job and a car, what is stopping you? Just find a cheap place to rent and leave.

No. 303954

I have bad credit and no savings.

No. 303955

>We both depend on my car for transportation.

Just leave . There are places that will take you and help you get back on your feet.

No. 303960

I’m pretty sure domestic abuse shelters and organizations can help you find options. Even if the abuse hasn’t escalated to physical abuse, they will be understanding. I was cheated on by my ex and continuously abused throughout my relationship with him and made a suicide attempt as a result. The domestic abuse shelter I went were incredibly helpful in terms of what I should do about the situation.

No. 303965

Is there anything about your situation in particular that is holding your savings back? You didn't go into much detail but the way I see it, this is a financial problem rather than a relationship problem. I find finance subreddits very helpful personally, personalfinance might be good for you to find ways to improve your finances enough to move out. It's far from hopeless, might just take some time. And you can enjoy fucking the asshole over when you leave with his transportation.

No. 304022

Thank you too!
Nothing can compare to the joy of creating something or doing something that you truly love.
People that say things like that just discourage you because they themselves didn't pursue their dreams, so they don't believe that it's possible to achieve them.

As corny as it sounds, do follow your heart. I constantly had that nagging feeling deep down but I kept trying to brush it off as a whim.
At least we can say that we don't have regrets or that we didn't try and persevere.

No. 304041

File: 1538490322719.png (142.36 KB, 500x282, raw.png)

>working on depressive thoughts, thinking I'm doing better
>have a little "relapse"
>"it's okay, it'll get better and better"
>friend says I've been doing bad for the last two years

No. 304063

I mean, I was trying so hard and then I hear from one of my best friends as if I've had no progress at all.

No. 304064

Today I got my period. A very heavy flow. And my coworker gave me a ride. I am pretty sure I bled on her car seats. Like 95% sure. I did not see it for sure and I would love to believe that I didn't, but I almost certainly did.
What the fuck do I do now. I'm gonna see her tomorrow and I just wanna kms.
Do I offer to clean them? Do I never bring it up ever again? Do I try to never meet her again and quit my job? I DONT KNOW.
I'm dead. I've never been that ashamed in my entire life. I'm fucking dead.

No. 304074

dude, pull her aside and just ask. say you realized when you got home that you'd bled through your uniform, and if you were telling anyone else you'd be mortified.
it's happened to us all anon. she'll get it. and if she doesn't, it's not like she'd go out of her way to make it weird for you.
it could even be a relatable sort of ice breaker. dont be ashamed, you got this.
I'm about to get my period and it's fucking with my life at the moment so i'm sending extra love my buddy <3

No. 304112

Why is my local anime con so shitty? The only guests listed on its website so far are old farts who did the dub opening and ending songs of old popular anime and a literally autistic guy who badly traces One Piece artwork. It's not the biggest one in the country but it's one of the oldest, how the fuck can they do this shit when con goers don't care about these people, or at least not anymore?

No. 304137

I had my driving school exam today and didn´t get it. I am from germany and it is so expensive. My mom is angry at me for no reason because her job is stressful. I will soon move to my boyfriend. I am happy but also affraid. Idk Anona wish me luck. Sorry for bad english

No. 304138

I fucking feel you. Conventions here are shit

No. 304143

You do make progress don´t worry

No. 304181

File: 1538503123196.png (64.42 KB, 658x901, 34C656FE-DB44-4E85-8CD7-33D4C3…)

I hate college. Everyday I go to class and feel so uninterested in what I’m learning. I used to enjoy learning but now I don’t care at all. I feel like I wasn’t ready to decide what I wanted to do with my life when I got out of high school, and because everyone acts like community college is a joke I chose a 4 year college without really thinking about it. Now I’m stuck at a school in a major I don’t want to be in. I’m also in my third year so I feel pressured to stay where I am although I’m unhappy. Does anyone else feel this way? Have any anons here dropped out or took time off? Did you wait for the semester to be over? All of my friends are doing well in school and having fun, so I feel alone in my situation.

No. 304200

Finally someone who feels my pain. I wanted to talk about it with friends but the only one who bother with this shitty con is a cosplayer who just pays to hang out with other cosplayer friends, and a normie who thinks Deadpool is innovative, so I'm not too sure they would agree with me.

I checked another con that used to take place in my city but got moved to a bigger one, and since it's a yaoi con I don't think I'll go anymore. The guests and con goers are fakebois, enbies teenage girls or "transmen(he/him)" who look like butch lesbians at the very best. Since it's the kind of place where I could only go by myself I don't think I should bother spending time and money on yet another con that became awful.

No. 304208


Anon I was in a similar situation. I transferred after my freshman year and thought that would help but I still hated my new school, didn't give a fuck about classes at all and like you I used to love learning. So I took a year off after sophomore year and focused a lot on my mental health (idk if that's an issue for you, but I had been struggling with completely untreated anxiety and depression for almost all of my life and it kind of came to a head). It was really hard for me to take time off and live with my parents, I hate admitting "failure." Now I am back at school. I attend a significantly less prestigious school than the one I was at before but I am doing really well, have an internship and close relationships with many of the professors in my department. If you have the option to take time off, absolutely do it. It was really hard for me to decide to do but best decision I made.

In your situation, it might be beneficial to take just a semester off. You mentioned you're in your third year; to be honest I hated college up until this semester (my second to last) when I got closer relationships with my professors and started discussing career options. Before that I thought I hated my major but it turned out I just hated the classes I was taking for my major, there aren't really any specific concentrations here unfortunately. Tbh I wouldn't recommend changing your major altogether unless you can finish a different one without committing too much time (unless of course you're willing to do so), keep in mind your major will not completely limit you to what careers you can pursue. There is also always graduate school if you're willing and able to attend.

Sorry for the rambling mess haha, but TLDR take time off of school if you need it!

No. 304216

I don't know how to stop being jealous of other people's social skills. I wish I could be like everyone else. It doesn't change online (though I hardly go outside), I keep having to remind myself that other people aren't waiting for me to entertain them like some clown. I don't understand why the few people that follow me on social media choose to do so. I don't get it. I doubt I'm alone in this but I just don't get how people make friends with so many randoms online. I don't even want to myself, because people make me uncomfortable. I wish I could be jealous of people's art skills like a normal person, yet here I am fretting over their people skills. I don't know if farmers will even understand what I'm saying here, because I am starting to understand less and less as time goes by. Just end my pathetic life.

No. 304226

My parents got us DNA tests for Christmas, put off doing them for forever, and I just got it back only to find that I'm 98.2% white (central European and British/Scottish), the other 1.8% being Italian/Greek (is this considered white?) and my parents are pretty much variances of the same, 100% white (the Mediterranean came from my mom's side). For years my dad's side of the family has claimed that we had "dark blood" (yes, my dad's side of that family is racist garbage from the South) in us from slaves they owned (again, I know, my family is trash u don't have to tell me). This has strangely outraged my aunts and great aunts on my dad's side of the family, I guess because now they can't defend being openly racist by saying oh I'm part "darkie." Anyway, one of them messaged me on FB and said we aren't welcome at Thanksgiving for "lying about our family's turbulent history." Truly just confused over how I'm related to such psychopaths but I guess being uninvited from thanksgiving is a blessing in surprise lol

No. 304233

>the other 1.8% being Italian/Greek (is this considered white?)
Yes, that means you're 100% white basically. I really wonder how these DNA tests work if the results are so badly explained. Also you're family is definitely weird, good thing you dodged them for a day.

No. 304260

Today I was scheduled for some bullshit sales training at 1pm when my shift is always at 3pm. For no good reason whatsoever, our schedules are posted in military time so 1=1300 and 3=1500. It must've been I glanced over my schedule and saw the '3' and my brain just presumed business as usual. I've worked here for three years and schedule deviations for training are rare, so a lot of people are on autopilot including me.

I didn't realize my mistake until 2pm when I got into my car. I got to the office 45 minutes early hoping that the simple solution would be to take the training code off and revert to my normal shift, since I was more than on time for my actual shift. Reschedule the training to one of the numerous class slots left, and lesson learned, right?
Wrong. When workforce management finally scrounged up a supervisor on duty (he actually had to go to the floor and search for this bitch since she wasn't answering her pager for 30 minutes), she tells me "no."
"It wouldn't be fair to a person who missed their training at 9am to make an exception for you. We can take the training code off, but you get a report late point and you finish the shift as it was scheduled today."
I told her how that was not flexible and made no sense.
"Sorry it's contract."
So there's a little magical contract elf who breaks peoples' fingers for coding the shifts.
I almost let this woman cuck me into working after getting slapped on the wrist, but after I made it halfway to the floor I turned back and just told workforce to code an absence for a full point for the day and I left.
The kicker is that this training is for sales, despite me already being a top earner and having sales experience from previous jobs. I don't need a dumbshit vendor teaching me how to ask for a sale.

Last month, my shitty upstairs neighbors flooded my apartment so badly that firemen were called. I was out two days due to the cleanup damage and being unable to sleep due to industrial fans blowing in the place trying to dry out the water. My stuff was ruined and it was a lot of mental stress. The supervisor managed to show the higher ups the pictures of the damage and so graciously informed me that instead of two separate absence points, they were consolidating them to one, "for my trouble." Gee, I feel so human. Thank you my generous overlords for showing mercy but still giving me a good smack for something out of my control.

I might have been even more mentally off this week because I broke up with my long-term boyfriend and I've been packing my shit to move out this Saturday. Which will make my commute to this shitty job an hour instead of 15 minutes.
I gotta quit.
I'm tired of having to constantly make 'exceptions' to my time like being forced to work mandatory overtime when the company requires (or else), yet they're unwilling to accommodate for emergencies and simple mistakes when I come knocking at their door.

No wonder so many employees are going postal and killing people at their jobs. After this foolery I can see why people are going insane over these hitler-tier rules and shit pay.

No. 304283

the results don't seem badly explained what are you on about? anglo-european and italian are different. DNA isn't about race necessarily.

No. 304290

I guess that's the way you phrased it then, it's not like I can check your results, obviously:
>I'm 98.2% white (central European and British/Scottish), the other 1.8% being Italian/Greek (is this considered white?)
That kind of implies that people from the south of Europe aren't white, which they definitely are. I'm saying "you" but I'm not sure you're the same anon actually.

No. 304318

It really doesn’t though.

That’s like saying all black people are African or all Asian people are Chinese.There are subgroups in every race of people.

No. 304326

File: 1538517827891.jpg (43.54 KB, 480x480, a5xyfqlcngi01.jpg)

I'm sick of my mom yelling at me and calling me names all the time for little insignificant shit or her twisting around a story I'm telling her and blaming me for something I said/did in the story. It's been like this since I was 5 and she always harrassed me even as a child, calling me all sorts of inappropriate horrible things at a young age and telling me she wishes I was never born and calling me a mistake.

I bought a sweater for myself for this winter and as soon as she came home from work, her first reaction was to call me a stupid asshole for "spending thousands", which I don't mind you, it was just one fucking sweater. I'm in my 20s now, have my own job and always save my money and nearly never spend it. Why does it matter how I spend my money anyway when I'm the one working hard for it busting my ass at work? It doesn't even matter what it's about, she will just continue to berate me and blame me for her problems and that fucking hurts because out of all the people in the world, you'd think my mum would support and love me but she clearly doesn't. I hate myself.

No. 304332

I'm OP, >>304283 isn't me

It's broken down better on the test itself, it doesn't say "White" just says Central European, British Isles, etc. I just simplified that to being white. The Italian/Greek seems to possibly encapsulate parts of N. Africa and Turkey as well. I know that modern Italian/Greeks are white just didn't know if having older heritage from there (no one in my immediate family is from the area) indicated Northern African or Turkish (which may be considered white, sorry I'm clueless) heritage, sorry to be confusing/oversimplify

No. 304334

samefag but I know I'm completely and totally white haha I'm not trying to seem ~special~

No. 304390

File: 1538526398745.gif (656.71 KB, 256x192, 1B2A6304-2A71-4B8F-9516-DBE050…)

>discovers love rival
>lights candle
>pricks finger
>offers blood to candle
>does some spooky magick
>”may her nasolabial folds become deep!”

No. 304396

File: 1538529785888.jpeg (58.39 KB, 500x377, 79F92E74-D437-4FE2-863E-FED34F…)

I’m rooting for you, anon. Casting a nasolabial-folding spell against her right now.

No. 304399

you monster

No. 304418

How the fuck do I not have like other people's symptoms? I feel fine despite being sexually abused/molested as a child for quite sometime. I actually feel like I have an extremely high libido like really high, yet I feel so fucking guilty when I hear people's stories and how scared they are about it, and the ptsd… WTF Why am I broken

No. 304423

white people getting iffy about blacks even when history isn't in their favor makes me laugh.

No. 304438

I am so sorry for what you went through, anon…
As you might know, hypersexuality is a common reaction to sexual abuse. This might not be your case though. Please remember there is no wrong way to feel about your trauma and everyone is different.
You can always try therapy if you would like to make sure you are processing the trauma fine…
Much love to you anon

No. 304444

i think many people are like you but they keep quiet about it because they feel guilty and/or don't want to be misunderstood. no one wants to get up on a podium and say "yeah this horrible thing happened to me and i'm actually more or less fine" because people are so dumb that they hear that and think it applies to all victims.

No. 304449

>go lifting for the first time with a bud
>actually have to look at myself while working out
>holy shit wait my legs are thin?
>spend rest of workout glancing at legs occasionally as if they aren’t fucking mine
>realizing I have such a fucked perspective of my own body to the point where I look at photos of my body and don’t even associate them with me/view them as myself sometimes
>why the fuck can’t I just be okay with my body why do I do this to myself
Pro: had a great workout
Con: still have to deal with my brain!

No. 304482

I have no health insurance. Even tho 99% have one in my country. Even the law says you must have one.
Right now yellow slime drops out of my ear and I cant see a doctor. My hoohaa is leaking blood all the time. And I cant see a doctor.

I work so hard. I do everything to support myself. And all these NEETs get health insurance for fucking freeREEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Work is worth it my ass.

No. 304484

I'm so unsure what I'm going to do with my life anymore. I'm studying abroad, yet a degree that's pretty "national" (law). I moved to this country with the intent to immigrate properly, but I grew to hate it. I became very isolated and the locals still seem impossible to befriend; I lost touch with most of my school friends too. Now I don't even know if I'd be employable back home, and I have no one here.
To add to all of this, I'm also in a LDR with a guy who lives in yet another country. He's lovely and I'd love to move in together asap, but I don't even know where I'm going to live myself (I would be completely unemployable in his country so that isn't a consideration).

No. 304486

If you don't mind telling, where do you live?

No. 304487

Switzerland. It's a nice country in many ways but I know I'm not welcome and it feels awful.

No. 304492

There must be resources for people like you! Why are you not enrolled in health insurance? At least where I am your job has to enroll you if you work full-time.

No. 304495

i've had it in my head for years that i might want to immigrate there. i'm a white american and i'm curious if you don't feel welcome because you are a minority or is it just because you're foreign?

No. 304496

Forget it unless you're a highly sought after specialist/have Swiss ancestry or a SO there. Especially so if you don't speak any local language fluently.

I'm an EU citizen, and the immigration process is much easier for us, but still a bitch. For non-EU, it's a complete nightmare (you would have to have an employer and a contract before you can even come, for instance). And it seems like the Swiss loathe any foreigners: I'm white, they usually assume I'm Swiss until we talk/they see my name and their attitude instantly changes. Rent ads do not shy away from writing "Swiss only", neither do job contracts. The only Swiss "friend" I managed to make at uni cut contact with me when I got better results than him because "I shouldn't have been allowed in first place".

I would like to go back to my home country, but it's poorer and I feel some sort of shame about considering that, because everyone believes Switzerland is heaven on earth. It does have a wonderful legal system and nature, but the Swiss are extremely xenophobic.

No. 304497

They genuinely hate foreigners. Not tourists, and an American might be mistaken for a tourist, but there's a lot of people from the Balkans there because of the wars in the 90s and they are treated like dirt from what I've heard.

No. 304508

Every guy I’ve dated (just two so far though) has been 5+ years younger than me. I’m in my late 20s for reference and didn’t date in my teens and most of my 20s due to severe self-esteem issues. Sometimes I wonder if other people would view that sort of age difference as problematic or creepy. One of my friends has kind of picked on me for it and thinks I have some sort of preference for younger guys but I don’t know really. It’s a bit embarrassing. I think I still have self-esteem issues so bad that I feel like the best I can do is younger guys who want an older girlfriend. At the very least, I draw the line at teens and have zero interest in guys that young.

No. 304513


I have similar feelings. I was raped and restrained/knocked around about a month ago by a stranger and it was an awful experience of course, I cried and screamed, dealing with the police after was horrible, not being able to shower, having to go back to the scene of the crime, recount it, etc. I still have little flashbacks and paranoia, cry every now and then. But I’m more or less fine. I still go out and do things, drink, laugh, enjoy life for the most part, even like a couple days after it happened. Sometimes I wonder if I should like fake being more upset or traumatized by it, so people don’t think I’m lying about being raped because I’m too ”okay”

No. 304514

My friend posts pictures of both her rapists writes longing texts about missing one very regularly.I know that people deal with trauma differently but it doesn’t make sense to me. I can’t even think about the guy who raped me very often because I’m trying to move forward. The idea of seeking your rapists out, stalking them on social media, longing for them, and wanting their images on your feed years after the assaults makes me feel uneasy.

No. 304533

I can confirm this.
I'm from the Balkans and I had several friends with uni (STEM) degrees wanting to do their PhD or were even invited by a pharma/lab research there.
And all of them had troubles getting even a place to rent. My friend had to use her boyfriend's surname (he's Belgian though) to even get an interview with the landlord/landlady.

And all of my friends are white(inb4 slavs are not white), light hair, blue eyes etc. but they were all bitter and moved to places like UK or Germany for career advancement as soon as they saw an opportunity.

I get that people are wary of foreigners but at one point the person's achievements and skills should matter more.

They didn't tell me everything but from the little I heard, it sounded terrible, and Swiss people sound like obnoxious people.

I was actually surprised that it was that bad.

No. 304539

Am Swiss, can confirm it is that bad. Many Swiss people have this insular farmer mentality (even in big towns) and are crazy protective of the country. You don't even have to be an immigrant, people are annoyed by the cross-border workers as well.

No. 304562

Yep, I'm surprised people don't talk about it more. For some reason people instead shit on the French for being "mean" to foreigners but my mom and I immigrated here when I was 5 (also from the Balkans) and people have been nothing but kind even though my mom spoke very limited French back then (and I knew none). Here nobody gives a fuck who you are as long as you follow the rules, which is fine by me. I never felt different from the others.

My family visited Zurich (and later that year also several cities in Germany) in 2012 and both the Swiss and German airport workers treated my mom like a dog as soon as they saw her surname. It was really creepy to see someone's attitude do a complete 180 in a second like that, but it's not my first time seeing it either. Funny thing is, in all of the "bad" countries we visited as tourists (pretty much all of Eastern Europe including Hungary, Turkey, Jordan, Morocco, South Africa) everyone was really nice to us (except Austrians, but even that was only one area and the rest of our stay was fine).

No. 304563

Well I'm not from the Balkans and people can't identify my origin when they look at my surname, noe can they guess my accent (I live in the French part and the guess is German 99% of the time) but that doesn't stop them. When my old flat burned down in summer, I went through absolute hell to get a new place and I'm glad I found anything because being homeless was very real.

So is it worth to just abandon Switzerland on account of how obnoxious and xenophobic people are and go back home for a poorer but more reasonable experience? I hate Switzerland but the little greedy voice in my head is telling me I'll be missing out if I leave.

No. 304572

File: 1538583688559.jpg (168.13 KB, 648x491, 3en3yw7yxv201.jpg)

I'm a friendless loser and the only person I talk to is my boyfriend. Whenever we can't talk because he's out with friends or playing games I feel very upset and lonely. I never tell him that because I don't want him to think I'm clingy and insane.
God I wish I had friends.

No. 304619

you're a monster and i hope you're ashamed of yourself. i'm calling the magickal police

No. 304698

Holy shit anon, are you me? I'm also a foreigner in Switzerland doing law, and I understand exactly everything you're feeling right now. I'm also scared about being unemployable in other countries and having to be stuck here, and even worse, being unemployable in Switzerland because I don't speak German. It sucks because law is my dream.

I've lived in the italian part most of my childhood and even though I'm indistinguishable from them (and look white, and have a german name) I was never accepted either. I recently moved to the French part for university and it's scary seeing the swiss-italians who discriminated me in turn get discriminated by the swiss-french. They absolutely hate them and refuse to talk to them. It's the first time in my life I've made friends with a swiss-italian because they're so shunned I guess even someone like me is "good enough" now, because I speak their language.

This is all making me seriously reconsider if I want to stay in this country, and I haven't even lived the worst of the xenophobia to come yet with getting a job/a flat/etc. I wouldn't recommend to anyone to move here, being someone originally from a "friendly" country, it's very sad seeing how insular and alone swiss people are and how much they hate not only everyone else, but each other.

No. 304700

Is it very bad that I have a lot of difficult to trust online friends even if they don't seem to be backstabbers (despite one or two that I avoid like the plague for being aggressive, egocentric assholes and seem to be into gossip)? I once was dumb and said some personal things to some "friends" I knew their real names, age, how they looked like, some personal stuff/problems and where they lived, instead of having a honest talk to me about my attitude that I probably didn't even realized they simply sunk a knife on my back when they got bored of me. They mocked my age and looks (I was only 3-4 years older), exposed some confidential things about the childhood abuse I went through and included things that I never said or happened for everyone (most precisely to people they knew who were thirsty for drama and called me horrible names that I would never call them) to see, it fucked me real bad. I'm really scared that it can happen again as I already easily feel my anxiety increasing over small things and because I don't know how I could handle such situation again. I'm just very insecure/being paranoid and feeling pressured but I also don't want to look like I'm someone suspicious hiding something/up to something bad. It is a community I really care about and don't want things to go downhill.

No. 304707

What city? Maybe we could exchange contacts or something.

No. 304712

fuck you are me anon, I'm desperate

No. 304821

I have a friend who lives with me and my family. A couple of months ago, my aunt suggested to me that friend’s sister and her baby can move in with us. I quickly shot that down. I’m not interested in living in a house with a baby. I work a lot, occasionally I party, and I’m going back to school in January.

Fast forward to Sunday, friend’s sis has fled to our house from her abusive boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad that she was in an abusive relationship but I absolutely HATE having her over. She’s taken over both my room and the living room (I have the biggest room) with her baby crap, so I have no personal space whatsoever. Her crazy ass mom comes over all the time now (to the point where it both gets on my mom’s and aunt’s nerves). I told my aunt that I’m willing to put up with this shit for a month at the longest and if it goes on longer than that, I’m leaving. Aunt then acts like I’m a selfish asshole for even suggesting that. When I told her that this isn’t our problem and she isn’t apart of our family, my aunt goes “But we’re compassionate people!”

Fuck no. I have compassion but I also have my limits. And I don’t see how this is going to work out. I don’t trust her not to get back together with her ex, so that drama is probably going to be present in the house. I already thought it was dumb of her to have a baby at 23 and in a shitty relationship and I have to suffer for it. I’m afraid of expressing to my family and close friends because of course they’re gonna think I’m a selfish baby hating dick. I’m not. I just don’t want to share a house with one (and the drama that comes with this particular case) and I feel like she has other options (she just chooses my aunt because my aunt is a giant pushover with a savior complex).

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills

No. 304826

>transferring a digital drawing to canvas via a projector
>first time using the projector
>figure the projector is cheap so the blurriness is unavoidable
>mfw turning on the lights and realizing there's knobs to adjust the focus
I feel so fucking stupid. It wouldn't be too bad if there wasn't text and distortion to account for, but man, I really should've double-checked before moving everything out of place. Now I have to do old school ruler and gridding for the typography when that's the exact reason I'm going from digital to trad.

Also I'm behind on classwork and I'm starting to feel that counter-intuitive overwhelming panic although everything is doable if I pace my workloads carefully.

No. 304838

I would much rather be tall and willowy than the short stumpy womanlet I am. I will never understand smolbeans, I guess I am glad for them, that they are happy with their bodies but I can't comprehend someone wanting to be short. Man I hate my big dumb midget head.

No. 304845

Same anon. I just want to look elegant.

No. 304848

File: 1538633312924.jpg (36.17 KB, 780x439, comforting-hug.jpg)

thank you anon

No. 304851

i became friends with someone online last year and she has to deal with emotional and verbal abuse + threats of physical abuse from her parents. She talks a lot about suicide and I’m trying my best to help her through it and support her because I’ve been through something similar and recovered but I’m always afraid it’s not going to be enough. I sent her resources local and online and advice to seek help from people who can actually help her situation too, but I don’t know if any of my words get through to her
I’m worried I’ll wake up one day or log on and I’ll see a suicide note four hours too late
I wish I could do something more but I don’t even know where she lives! Not even her real full name or city or school. I’m only a few years older than her but I live literally halfway across the world, and I don’t want to make things worse for her by somehow tipping off the police from another state and having her parents do something to her
I get so concerned about her wellbeing that it distracts me in my uni classes but I don’t know who else I could talk to because they don’t seem to care at all. I’m terrified I won’t be enough to help her. I know I’m not responsible for others lives and decisions, but I can’t help but worry constantly that I’m going to wake up and find out that she’s dead. I have a bunch of issues from coping in a shitty way growing up, and I hope so badly she’ll make it. The worst thing is that sometimes I think maybe it would be better for me to just disappear and try to forget about everyone just to avoid this crippling anxiety, but that’s such a selfish thought and it makes me feel like a terrible person. I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know if what I’m doing to try to help her will ever be enough, and I don’t even know if my words will mean anything to her. If something does happen, I know I’m just going to blame myself for not doing enough, even though I’ve done everything I can possibly do without risking her safety and with the small amount of info I do have of her… I don’t even know if she trusts me anymore because I said I would be willing to call emergency services/CPS for her once and she panicked. I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m just making this about me. I’m so worried about her all the time, and I’m not entirely sure if that’s healthy. It feels like we only truly reach out to each other when she feels suicidal. Sometimes it feels like I’m just a personal therapist, but maybe I brought that on myself.
I feel terrible. I wish things would work out so easily. I don’t know if I’m a terrible person for writing this. It feels like I can’t take care of myself because every time I do something seems to go wrong

No. 304863

I’m sorry you’re going through that, anon. As someone who’s been through similar situations from both sides (caring about someone who was suicidal and feeling helpless about it AND also being the suicidal person who was overbearing and unfairly treating a friend as a personal therapist), this is an unhealthy situation. You’ve already done what you could for her possible in that situation. The harsh reality is that there really isn’t much you can do to help her especially if she refuses to cooperate and do much to improve her situation. It sounds heartless but you really do have to think about what’s best for yourself at some point and it may end with you having to distance yourself from her or leaving her. It’s not wrong to prioritize your own emotional well-being in this situation.

No. 304868

thank you for the kind words, anon, I appreciate it a lot; it's kind of validating to hear you say it's not wrong for me to think of myself too in this situation. I guess I'm just worried that I'm the only one there for her, because she hasn't told anyone in real life about what's going on, so I'm afraid that if I distance myself, it'll be like her last support system abandoning her. I guess that's a little self-centered of me to assume that though lol.

But thank you again, really. I'll keep your words in mind going forward - I hope you're doing well yourself.

No. 304871

I'm in Geneva, you?

No. 304874

You’re welcome. It’s not easy being in that position and I hope you can be as compassionate to yourself as you have to your friend.

No. 304876

idk man, you're still the norm. I'm very tall and I just have a strange man bod which I got bullied for my entire childhood

no matter how skinny I got it was always super wide, boxy and "unfeminine".

No. 304879

short women can still be boxy and wide, so don't feel bad, anon

No. 304899

I'm just very scared.
My eyesight was bad my entire life, from my birth I inherited shitty eyes from both my parents. I've been wearing glasses for most of my life and I can't see myself without them.
Recently my vision started becoming blurry arbitrarily so I went to a doctor who told me that I basically have no issues with my eyes besides retinal detachment so I went to a big fancy clinic and got a retinal coagulation done on both eyes. It went fine and I recovered quickly.
I also changed my prescription glasses almost immidiately after that to better fit my worsening vision as people at the fancy clinic told me that it's just my eyesight that has become worse.
Currently my vision is at its all-time worst, I can't even see my computer screen while basically leaning into my laptop and it all doubles. I have some neurological and mental problems and the first doctor told me to get an appointment with a neurologist, but my hospital doesn't have one and I'm kinda contemplating just going to a paid clinic.
I'm just scared. I thought the op would be fixing my eyes, I thought glasses would help, but I'm immidiately back to what it was and now it's getting even worse and I'm afraid that after all these years I'm finally going blind.

No. 304900

Same! I assume you recently moved here? I've been living here quite a while, studying for my master's now. What about you? Would you like to keep in touch somehow? Would be nice to make a friend in this godforsaken city.

No. 304911

i hate being ugly AND dumb/lazy
would much rather be ugly + smart/hard-working

No. 304912

I hate that I started browsing an imageboard that I told myself I would stop.
There are one or two decent threads and the rest are misogynistic "grills r evil & stoopid" type, you know what I mean?
It wasn't always like that (well, slightly) but now it's 95% shit.
I've noticed I started sinking back into my negative mindset and I became less productive.
All the wishing of death and pain on women for just existing and the constant repetition that women are useless and will never amount to anything does affect me in a way.
I don't know why I even bother.
Some habits die hard but I really ought to kill this one.

No. 304914

Actually make it 99% shit. There's pedo posting. Also, it seems that a guy who is 48yo and grooming a 14yo is perfectly fine in their book because of muh age of consent.

I'm so done with that shit site.

No. 304921

>sees cosplay that someone bought
>it's not hard to get accuracy for the character
>ridiculously simple shit
>say that I don't think it's impressive at all to buy accuracy
yOu'Re JuSt JeAlOuS oF hEr!!!one!!

Fuck. Off. I fucking hate that you can't express you don't find some fucking cos girl ~amazing~ without being called jealous.

No. 304927

while they let themselves succumb to their negative toughts, they will literally lie down and rot. dont let these useless, spineless men get you down, while they are whining on the internet women are actually out there practicing for what they want to be in their life and surpassing them, while they cry in mommas basement. women have always been stronger then men and it shows in times like this.

No. 304943

You're absolutely right and that's what I'll do.

I just need to focus on work and self-improvement.

Thanks, anon for your response. It's my own fault anyway for going on that stupid site.

No. 304966

i was with you until the last bit.

No. 304974

american horror story has some of the worst acting and storylines i've ever seen. how is it that ryan murphy is able to turn kathy bates into a totally shit actress?

every decent actor that comes onto the show is transformed into a cringefest, while the main actors are absolute shit and always have been, from start to finish. just awful. i think that's the only horror in the show. i can't believe how many people think the acting and writing is good. it's literally high school theater tier.

No. 304977

File: 1538667714020.jpeg (7.25 KB, 259x195, sad-birthday-cat.jpeg)

I'm feeling kind of bad because I'm spending my Birthday alone Saturday and no one I know, family mostly, seems to remember it.
I'm really thinking of getting a couple of tinder dates or maybe go to some lesbian bar around my area just in order to not be so fucking emotionally starved.

No. 304982

File: 1538668389445.png (625.91 KB, 661x636, 545.png)

we are n'sync anon.

I just told my boyfriend about it because I was too overwhelmed and welp, nothing changed. He said he would try and make an effort to talk more to me yet no change has been made. I'm not going to complain again because I already feel like shit for doing it.

No. 304988

I wish mental illnes never got my dad, I'm so scared of ending up like him one day…

No. 304991

omg true anon! I used to love it in highschool and my boyfriend and I just started watching a few episodes last week (he had never seen it.) Its got good concept but the editing is horrible, the acting is obviously acting , and the artistic shots are just not well filmed in the way I remember them. It's honestly such a shameful experience sitting next to my boyfriend watching him cringe, knowing at some point I was obsessed with this show.

No. 304997

I’ve only watched seasons 1 and 3 myself and found it to be cringy trash too. The only reason I even managed to sit through season 3 was purely due to me finding Dandy and his manchild tantrums somewhat entertaining.

No. 305007

AHS was never a “good” show (aside from seasons 2 and 6) but it was at least campy enough to be entertaining. I feel like Ryan Murphy has been running out of ideas since season 7, which explains the decline in quality.
>Its got good concept but the editing is horrible
I feel like that’s the main problem with AHS and Ryan Murphy’s shows in general. Like he has good ideas, but always manages to fuck it up. Glee is another example of a good premise but horrible execution. Probably the main reason The People Vs. OJ was good was because it was based off of real life events, thus he couldn’t fuck it up with his hackery.

No. 305008

My bf and me are together for almost 11 months and we started having less sex since our dog came into our life.
the basic problem:
I have a problem with my libido and shyness and he has a fetish that is weirdly not makeable (transformation stuff) it's fucking frustrating for both of us even though we are happy again after several problems we had the recent months about me getting back into my snail house and being afraid of literally any conversation
with anyone.
I honestly don't know how to get to him after all that and the dog is way too cute and wants to cuddle us both in bed,
any suggestions how to open the act after months of no sex?
We are honestly both shy again and the dog actually isn't that much of a problem, he is just an excuse for us both somewhat when we can't be open about our sexual desires again.

No. 305009

Nobody remembers my birthday either. I never celebrated since I was a kid, so I feel used to it, kek. It just passed, and I have yet to hear a peep from my family. I’ll remember your birthday though anon!

No. 305017

Sure anon! I did indeed recently move here, I'm on my second year of Bachelors. Drop me an email if you want to.

No. 305023

I hate AHS!! I really do. It's the Game of thrones of horror stories. Most of the stories are filled with loop holes and a lot of it is pure shock value. Asylum was especially bad when they had that rape scene with Sarah Paulson and Zachary Quinto's characters and everyone brushed it off.

The only semi decent season was Freakshow imo but every other one was a mess.

No. 305025

Was Season 7 Roanoke or Cult? Because they were both so bad. I forced myself to play it in the background to just get it over with.

No. 305037

File: 1538677329221.jpg (53.93 KB, 793x786, 1526941118458.jpg)

Why do i have to be so ugly, why is my body so disgusting and why cant i change anything even tho i try
Why is my face so ugly and my genes so fucked.
Im at a point where im starting to resent my mother for giving birth to me, im bound to be alone, no one would love me bc of my looks, much less fuck me.
Its not even like i have an interesting personality.
Some girls are so blessed.
I think i was born to just be alone and do something cool like write a tight book or something.
I hate the mirror for lying to me and make me seem pretty WHEN ITS ALL A LIE MY PHONE CAMERA SHOWS ME THE TRUTH AND I HATE IT
i hate it so much
I should jusy become aromantic and asexual and not let anyone worry i might like them i hate myself so much

No. 305038

It's really bad but for some reason I watch every season lol. I used to like it when I was in high school (mostly just the first 2 seasons) and I guess I still like it because of nostalgia. But this season is fucking horrible, they've completely run out of ideas

No. 305041

Sent you an email!

What's so wrong with your looks anon?

No. 305042

Im starting to get laugh lines, i have a gross double chin, my eyes are too far apart, my body is jesus, a literal mess. Im not even 21 yet.

No. 305053

Those aren't very significant flaws…why do you feel so ugly?

No. 305054

Anon it will be okay.

You said you like how you look on the mirror - do you know that a picture is a mirrored image of yourself so it's natural that it looks wrong (And usually worse) to you? You do NOT need to discard your reflection, the pretty things you see in there are what people see when they look at you also.

I know exactly how it feels to hate your physical appearance. I'm 24 and when I was 19 - 22 I went through a dark self hatred period. My face, my body, even my voice I would critique and insult internally allll the time. All I can say is that I have become more and more comfortable with my appearance with age. The longer you live your life the more you come to terms with thing you can't change, and that frees you to focus on what you like about yourself.

No. 305062

I just look so idk wrong?
Like i see a picture ans all i see is this blob, its terrible, even with make-up, idk what the fuck is up
But thats the thing i mean, i take selfies and they're not mirrored, so its basically what people see and theyre so ugly, i read someplace that the cam shows you how people see you but mirrors make you look prettier.
I honestly feel so defeated.
Thank you for being so nice tho, i hope i can get used to my looks or somehow fix myself and look better.
Its honestly depressing.

No. 305064

File: 1538680290337.jpg (65.63 KB, 800x450, 18kxy5bbtul32jpg.jpg)

just so you know, mirrors are objectively more accurate than phone cameras, which distort.

or rather, mirror is closest to what other people see when they look at you.

No. 305067

I'm going through a big period of transition right now. I just graduated and I'm moving away from my parents for the first time to live with my Grandma in a different state next week. I've been working really hard these past couple months to reach my goals, get into good habits, and plan my vision for my life and I'm ready for a fresh start. But I've been dealing with mental health issues for many years now and yesterday (on my birthday nonetheless) I had a mental break down and now I just feel so unsure of myself and my ability to really have the life I want. Like what if it doesn't matter how hard I work or the effort I put in, what if I'll always be blocked by something that's just out of my control, what if it will always be just out of my reach? I'm also scared because, while I know it sounds immature, I'm really close to my mom and she's always been able to help me through. Last night when I was breaking down I was able to sit with her and she was able to comfort me a bit. But I won't be able to have that anymore now that I'm moving and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it.

Idk, I just want to have a happy life so badly, I know there will be bad days but fuck I just want to be content. I'm so tired of mental illness taking things from me. I'm trying to stay hopeful and be positive but it's really hard when I have this worry in the back of my mind that it's all for naught. Do you guys have any advice or encouragement?

No. 305071

god i relate to this one. i've thankfully stopped browsing 4chan as of late and actually made some friends i can talk to (although i am still entrenched in degeneracy). the constant woman hate really got me down on my esteem, even if it was bottom-of-the-barrel men saying those things, it still hurts.

No. 305074

Is is a brazilian chan? These tend to be the worst

No. 305080

I have a love-hate relationship with you anon, i love you for being so sweet to me but i low-key hate the fact that im getting excited over this, being positive is so dangerous especially now because im meeting new people.
Wish me luck anon.
I love u

No. 305081

File: 1538682720259.jpg (63.21 KB, 1300x1300, image.jpg)

Anon honestly you need to get your shit together and stop worrying so much. First, your self worth does not amount to your appearance. You've got much more to show for personality-wise, and if you don't, then work on that. Get a hobby, do something you like, talk about hings you like, refine your tastes, read books idk. Go ahead and write that bomb ass book.
A lot of girls, me included, grow up thinking all they're worth for is their looks, which isn't true and is, in the end, a harmful mindset that only hurts you.
I know how it feels to think nobody will ever look at you because you're not model-tier, i know, but this is also a lie you conditioned yourself to. First of all, almost nobody looks model tier. Secondly, the prettiest models are ugly as shit to some people, because beauty is subjective and it's okay. 95% of the world have average looks and lead on their lives just fine.
Also, don't believe incels and their lookism or whatever. Attractiveness is actually very easy to archieve: Take care of yourself, have good hygiene, dress properly (but comfortably) and have and attractive personality. This is enough. People do get crushes on average people a lot more than you think, it's how you present yourself that counts.
Again, remember that your self worth is not your looks. While it's important to take care of yourself, never equate your self esteem to how nice you look. Sometimes you're gonna be a goblin couch potato and you'll still be as worthy as when you're all dolled up.

(Just a final thing, >>305064 is right. Cameras and lights distort your image and looking in a mirror is a more accurate way of knowing how you look. Pretty people also look ugly in badly timed or angled pictures. If you want good selfies learn your angles and practice them.)

No. 305083

You can use one of those browser extensions that full on blocks it so you can't go there anymore. It makes it way easier to kick the habit and then it stops infecting your mind.

No. 305085

File: 1538682949469.jpg (172.77 KB, 720x666, 20180915_162444.jpg)

School this year is going to demolish me. I'm in my last hs year but now everything has changed and I was never good to begin with. I hate that even if I study hard I won't do well because my bases are shakier. Just put me out of my misery

No. 305086

it's just true anon! life sucks but just because something is negative doesn't mean it's automatically correct. once in a while, the thing you wanted to be true actually is the truth, and this is one of them.

No. 305090

Does anyone have any resources for those who feel like they consume tool much alcohol/bordering on alcoholic?

I never wake up with a hangover, I go to work, do my job, working to higher position, etc etc. But I just want to shake off and stop drinking alcohol so much.

I've cut it down a lot since my university days but I know I'd be happier if I'd stopped drinking so regularly or even at all.

I'm afraid of speaking to a doctor in case it shows up on my medical record permanently.

The only thing I'm scared of is potentially having delirium tremens/seizures; I never have blacked out, I never need a drink as soon as I wake up in the morning and lot of things I've read online have been from people who seem hell of a lot more involved than I am, but I still want to be cautious.

I'm a bit clueless on the safest option. But anyway, it feels nice to vent this out as anon. I may have left a lot of details out.

A bit tired of people saying "I would drink loads when I was your age!" whenever I'd try and bring up cutting down or stopping. I'd like to know if any other farmers had any experiences or words to share on alcohol consumption.

No. 305095

Happy early birthday anon, forgive me for sounding cheesy but I'll send out a good thought for ya on Saturday. Also go out and have fun, sometimes celebrating your birthday with strangers is WAY more fun than with family!

No. 305096

I'm not >>304712 this anon but I am in the exact situation. He has so many friends and he talks to them on discord every day. I try my best not to be jealous but I can't help it sometimes. I ask him to try to spend more time with me but really get mostly ignored. We moved to a city with a lot of hiking spots near by a couple months ago. I love hiking and have been wanting to go since we got here, I've brought it up and asked to go like every weekend. Nothing from him. I accidentally over hear him say on discord "you guys should come out here and we can rent a car and go hiking"

No. 305098

sorry to double post, by he I mean my bf

No. 305125

Got a rejected email for a seasonal retail job and I feel so ashamed. I dunno if it's because there's no available positions, or if they looked at my pathetic lack of job experience and figured I'm not even capable of stocking and labelling products.

I thought I was doing okay breaking out of NEETdom by going to college, but now I realize I'm basically wasting money on a career I'm incapable of sustaining, effectively leeching my dad's retirement money. I just need a basic part time job to at least pay back this semester. If I were 19 or something, this wouldn't be so bad, but just a couple more years older and I just feel miserable about my living situation.

No. 305136

Hang in there anon. Job hunting can be hard. I’m proud of you for going to college. Do you know if your college has on-campus jobs? Maybe you can work for administration or something

No. 305139

Ugh honey, you're so sweet.
It just feels so hard, no matter what i do. It's terrible. But i know it's a process, i hope.
I like this one guy and idk he seems to have such high standands.
But whatever, he's just a guy, i honestly need to just take care of myself for me. Thank you sweetie i love you
Thank you anon! It made me have a slight confidence boost, so i spent an autistic amount of time in front of the mirror.

Thank you girls, you made my day better♡

No. 305142

File: 1538692251293.jpg (46.81 KB, 540x534, tumblr_p2xoy25pL31x37orvo1_540…)

you deserve to feel good about how you look! looking in the mirror and feeling cute hurts no one and it's fun. is it vain? maybe, but life is too hard to deny yourself a little self indulgence sometimes.

No. 305200

I know it’s not easy but hang in there. I didn’t get a full time customer service job until I was 22 (Finding a customer service job if you had no experience was virtually impossible in 2008-2012, at least in my area). Just keep applying. You’ll find something.
I’m in a similar boat. I wouldn’t call myself an alcoholic but I would say that I have a drinking problem. It doesn’t help that alcoholism runs in my family (grandpa and dad we’re both alcoholics. Two of my uncles even died from it). I can still go to work and other functions just fine but when I get home, I decide to have a beer. One beer turns into 2. And 2 turns into four. And so forth. I think I used to hate my life a lot and drinking would numb the pain.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any resources on me but I would suggest taking one day at a time. Don’t make some grandiose plan on how you’re gonna quit or cut back on drink. Just not try to drink each day as it comes. You won’t always succeed but that okay. Out of this week so far, I’ve only had alcohol on Tuesday. You’re not alone, anon.

No. 305213

File: 1538713557478.gif (4.37 MB, 400x400, lo.gif)

I'm gonna be starting work soon and it will be customer facing and I'm nervous. I'm socially anxious and coming out of long Neetdom, so you can imagine the awkwardness. Plus this guy from middle school who tried to get in touch once a long time ago (and I ignored him kek) is a customer there so I might meet him eventually. Just thinking about it gets me feeling stressed. On the other hand, I've had a real panic episode before, and that was a primal, deathly fear. This is nothing compared to that, so I'm ok. I'm well enough I can function somewhat, just awkwardly. So I'm fine and it will be a good way to practice my social skills in a low stake situation, am just frustrated my body wants to dope me up with adrenaline instead of helping me learn charisma and shit.

>I like this one guy and idk he seems to have such high standands.
But whatever, he's just a guy, i honestly need to just take care of myself for me.

Imo this is the best attitude you can have Anon. Do your best for yourself, but if you like the guy, give it a go. Also, keep in mind that other peoples' standards aren't objective measures of your worth either. Sometimes people who totally match each other's criteria just don't have that emotional click, and sometimes people who are totally different get on like a house on fire. So don't think of it like trying to measure up to the guy or other women, bcz that can be stressful, instead just see if you both get on well, like each other and want something more. It's not a competition, it's a recreational activity lol. So if it works out, great! And if it doesn't, no problem, cause there's a better match out there for you. Don't put guys on a pedestal. Even Brad Pitt clogged a toilet aftet a fat shit at least once lol.

No. 305217

Fat people just suck and I didn't feel that way before my current job but I feel like I've been radicalized or something. Like I recently noticed that every. single. person. here. is like >250 lbs and they're all mean af and actually insane. I heard a conversation from the next room like five fucking people talking about how I'm like making a point of "not really eating lunch" because "I'm naturally thin so I could eat more"* and how like I must make a point of eating a huge breakfast/dinner when they can't see me and then eating a tiny lunch in front of them or something because no one could be full from a meal that size - essentially they think I'm depriving myself to make them feel bad and also that I could eat 4x as much and look exactly the same. Um, what?

I told my best friend who is normally really practical and she just started listing random reasons why they might be fat that would be outside their control (maybe it's genetic, maybe they have trauma and overeat to cope, maybe they just like food and that's fine, maybe they have arthritis)… I don't care???? Why am I morally obligated to speculate about why they are fat??? What does that even accomplish?

I know it sounds like I should just ignore them but it's not like getting off the internet or something, it's a really small company and I have to be there 9-5 every day and I need this job but it is a miserable environment to work in and I'm starting to feel like they're actively fucking with me, like giving me instructions but acting like they gave me different instructions and piling on me for "making mistakes" in front of management. I kind of feel like I'm going crazy.

*inb4 humblebrag I am not losing weight my doctor has never mentioned my weight because it is normal and I make and eat lunch every day

No. 305226

What kind of weird job do you have where every single coworker is that obese with little exception? Some fetish house?

Secondly, why would anyone even care about your eating habits? Sounds like you already had a chip on your shoulder about the fatties there anyway. I find it hard to believe that you're a sweet person who was minding their own business and one day the fat nation showed up to burn your confidence and make fun of your eating. You sound like you might've been the mean one.

And maybe if you don't want to hear your friend's opinions about these fatties, then don't rant to her about them. What made you think she's morally obligated to read your mind and take your word about what happened? Your friend sounds empathetic and I'm sure you were absolutely on a tirade.

And you sound paranoid too.

No. 305235

I've been living with my grandmother since early this year due to health issues she's been having, and I can't help but feel stuck in a rut between it and the rest of my life. I want to be out on my own so I can adjust to living a normal adult life, but I don't want to leave her alone despite her telling me multiple times that I don't need to stay with her. I'm terrified that if I do move back out, she'll have an incident that sends her to the hospital or worse, but at the same time her condition has gotten worse while I've been here and I worry that she doesn't have much longer here.

It doesn't help that I feel to blame for part of the stress she deals with. Part of it comes from her constantly being in pain here recently, and we believe that pain came from a fall she took while at an event we went to because I suggested it. I thought she did well following it, she didn't need to go to the hospital at the time, but now that this pain has gotten as bad as it has, she can't get around like she used to and I don't want to leave her alone unless I know someone is here to keep her company and help her around. She hates being under the weather, she doesn't want to go to anymore appointments as she thinks they won't solve anything, and I feel so helpless as I'm limited in what I can do.

And the stress of this clashes with my job, which I've had for nearly 4 years now. As good as it pays for being food service, I get tired of dealing with the same shitty customers, same crappy procedures we have to do, and then every week there's someone bitching about what another employee has done or hasn't done or what should be done. My family wants me to get a better job, but I don't think I have a good enough resume to nab a better position and don't want to add more stress to what is already driving me up a wall.

No. 305345


You're the one calling them "fatties" idk how you're going at me for being insensitive. Correctly guessing all the hidden causes of obesity in America isn't going to discourage or distract these people from this pattern of behavior. There was a pre-existing culture of obsessive shit talking in this office (fetish house, wtf) long before I started working here.

No. 305375

Anon you should pretend to go vegan and start doing desk work outs every day just to trigger them.

No. 305378

That sucks. Perhaps you should move out but to a place really close to your grandma? That is, if something happens, you’ll be close by.

No. 305383

I can believe her, it sounds like she's working with adults who have a high school mentality who just happen to be fat. If there weren't fat maybe they would have found something else to criticize about her.

No. 305404

not the og anon but honestly most workplaces that don't require a degree and aren't populated by teens/young adults have collectives like this. lots of 40 year old moms that peaked in high school and still retain the mentality, obvi if it's an anglo country and a poorer area they are quite often obese as well. if you don't get on their good side they will pick on you for whatever dumb shit.

to the anon: either formulate a plan how to get up their asses or just have fun and annoy them in whatever way you please, >>305375 anon's ideas are good. either way, just remember you have infinitely more potential than they ever will and so whatever they say doesn't matter.

No. 305438

>being insensitive

So on top of being paranoid you're shit at reading comprehension too?
I didn't ever say you were "insensitive," I said you have a chip on your shoulder because you clearly think ebil fatties are out to get you. Your hate is probably so transparent that it came out in your attitude and actions towards them.

Because no, I don't believe for an instant coworkers would start being shitty towards you or care about what you eat unless you started some shit. And the fact that you think they're all gossiping whores adds to that.

And you're mad at your best friend because she didn't join in with your hate. Yeah, they may be immature but so are you. Grow up.

No. 305487

Fat insecure women are some of the most paranoid, victim-complex-having crazies out there.
If you don’t gorge in front of them you’re deliberately eating less to spite them.
If you eat a lot or eat something junky, you’re also doing it to spite them.
If you wear something that they dislike it’s to spite them.
If you have a conversation with someone they dislike its clearly only mocking the poor fat victim.
If you speak to people they like, you’re a cocky Bitch acting like you belong in “her space”
If you bring a gym bag or talk about exercise, it’s to shame them.

Nothing you do will be right because your existence offends these bitches so much they’re losing sleep at night. Their vanity and self-victimisation is deeper than the marianas trench.

No. 305493

File: 1538784522979.jpg (60.79 KB, 720x275, sadstory.jpg)

anon, I feel you. since I've told him things really went to shit, and I'm wondering now if he's doing this on purpose. yesterday I spent the night as his house and he played a game in the other room instead of talking to me. just feels like I'm the worst company ever. sometimes I think just being completely alone would hurt less than having no friends and being ignored by my bf. welp.

No. 305502

Someone I love very much just committed suicide after attempting to seek help. I'm so frustrated at the state of mental health care.

No. 305515

I'm so , so sorry, anon! It's never easy, especially when suicide and depression feel like solution to a lot of people. I don't really know what to say, but you aren't alone in this.

No. 305545

File: 1538797160579.jpeg (120.58 KB, 750x743, EDDBBAE0-6BC7-4C56-A2F4-32A07E…)

I’m a shitty driver. I keep spacing out behind the wheel and not realizing it. I’ll slip into a daydream or train of thought and completely lose track of what’s in front of me. I almost rear-ended two cars today. It’s only a matter of time before I seriously fuck up… I’m starting to think I might have some form of ADD, I’m not even hyper or anything though.

No. 305548

anon from >>304851
I mustered up the guts to tell my friend I’m taking a break from the chat messenger because it’s affecting me at school and my health. I think I’m literally worrying myself sick, and I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time. My friends tell me I’m doing the right thing by taking a break if I can’t handle it, but I’m still so terrified that I’ll wake up and find out she’s dead because I haven’t talked to her or something. I gave her my other contact info in case she wanted to reach me outside of that messenger app, but she hasn’t and I don’t know if she will. I keep relogging in and checking on messages and I think she’s having a bad day, and I’m so so scared I’m gonna let my guard down and relax and stop being so anxious for a week and then come back to news that she’s committed suicide, and that I played a part in it because I didn’t talk to her enough or something (which sounds to me really illogical but I can’t stop worrying about it)

I just want my brain to chill. I can’t take this. I’m seeing my therapist on Tuesday, but my thoughts are constantly paranoid that something will happen. I wish I wasn’t like this. I’m trying to listen to logic and the reasoning that I truly can’t control other people’s actions and that I’m not responsible for them, but my mind is so fixated on this one possibility that it’s impossible for me to let go. There’s always the thought that I should do something more, but I really don’t know what else I can do to help, especially when she’s not reaching out for help… I’m sick of listening to myself and I’m sick of being like this lmao

No. 305552

So get off the road before you kill someone. If you can’t handle it, don’t drive. Convenience isn’t worth some little kids life. Get the bus.

No. 305556

i regret not connecting with my mom more. she passed about a decade ago. i had a child while she was alive but they were a baby then. while my mom was outwardly vain, i knew she was super happy to be a grandmother and yet, i tried to keep my distance. now years later i wish i had more significant talks with her. about motherhood, about really life itself. i remember her talking about being molested when she was a young teen and i had delt with rape and molestation when i was a bit older. i wish i had opened up with her more about that. a therapist can help but she never really delt with that personally and i know it ate her up knowing her daughters went through what she went through.

im really at a weird place where my kids are growing and im scared because needs change and i dont want to miss something that could really help them. while my family consideres her to be a standared of motherhood, my mother still made mistakes but goddamn, i have no one else to talk to about kids with experience and im scared. i feel robbed honestly. i was about 22 when she passed and was still an asshole and kind of stuck in teenage self importance.

no parent should have to bury their child but that still doesnt stave the thought that i never really had the time to grow at significant times with her. i can go for a large part of the time knowing her passing was expected, but i have moments where i get selfish and wish i could have known her better and learned more from her.
man it sucks.

No. 305565

I got broken up with a week before our 10 year anniversary
I understand why and the reasons behind but I don’t know what to do with myself

No. 305575

Be vegan if you want, whatever, but this absolute trash about “speciesism” is completely retarded and deserves to be ignored. Planets fucking doomed when babies are crying over ducks not having the right to life when there’s sweatshops full of children slaving over their vegan-leather fast fashion purse.

No. 305636

i can't go on askreddit anymore because of how often the conversation turns to undesirable neckbeards discussing women in a way that pisses me off. simply seeing some undesirable asshole type an essay about how to improve yourself ("you" being a straight male, and the "improvement" solely for impressing women in order to sleep with them) pisses me off to no end.

i used to love wasting time reading stuff on there because there were all kinds of funny/moving/scary stories and interesting facts and stuff but now i just see pathetic males everywhere. shit kicked into overdrive with the ford case with men whining about how they're afraid of their entire history being looked at omg muh rights! this is becoming a dystopia!

so now i can't even look at it for fun anymore. men ruin everything

No. 305639

this is why i can't take veganism seriously. yes, many factory farm animals are put in horrible conditions. so are children in third world countries. my emotional spending is put pretty heavily into those children, not into cows and pigs and chickens, as cute as i think those animals are. i just don't have the capacity to care that much about them when i know that little kids and lower-class poor adults are still literally enslaved elsewhere.

No. 305641

You can care about two things, anon.

No. 305643

actually if i recognize one thing as bad it means i can throw my hands up and accept all the other bad things

No. 305647

not enough to go vegan. i don't have the time in my life to focus on my job, my own issues, and worry about the suffering of Everyone while trying to maintain an extremely strict diet.

No. 305662

Sadly, this is also true for me… but I am a piece of shit when it comes to my diet. I wonder if I could find a vegan dietician who would help me learn to be healthy on a vegan diet. I am very worried about not getting nutrition.

No. 305795

Years ago before momo was a cosplayer, I remember seeing my ex flirting with her (we weren't together anymore at the time) on her old twitter account. I also noticed her cat fighting some e-girl who frequently posted pics of her ass, and after that Mariah posted a pic of her own for attention probably. Fast forward a few years and I see her on lolcow. It's strange how life works. She was a lot thinner back then too.

No. 305847

File: 1538863964798.gif (937.94 KB, 194x280, me.gif)

mfw when you sabotage a friendship due to self hatred and paranoia
mtf when you can't work on anything due to the guilt

justifiably, mfw people probably hate me a little more now because i come across as a selfish prick who ghosts people for fun

i'm to afraid to talk to her again i don't know what to do
it's been happening for months
i think it might be permanent this time

No. 305852

I usually don't run into problems while socializing, but for some reason I keep putting my foot in my mouth this week. Kill me

No. 305860

Broke up with my ex a few weeks ago and decided to meet up with a qt I matched with on a dating app.

We had great sex. We spent the evening talking and walked to a bar, when we got back to his place he asked if he could come onto me and I agreed.
After we made out the first thing he did was go down on me, and he seemed to be really eager to please me even if the whiskey dick hit him the first half of the night. Huge dick. We fucked until morning. It was great.
He wants me back tonight.
It's doing wonders for my self-esteem because I consider my body irredeemably hideous and the intimacy is something my ex starved me of for the last year of our dying relationship. It's nice to hear someone tell me my body is beautiful anyway and is out to satisfy me.

I've never been with a "cute" guy before outside of hookups. I've always settled in the past for ugly or fat dudes. I'm not going to allow myself to catch feels just yet, but he's already telling me how he wants me and considers himself monogamous.

Except I don't half trust him because he's a bad boy (misdemeanors and run ins with authority) and admittedly I don't think he has any grand plans insofar as a career.
So I'll just take it for what it is at the moment, someone hot who I can enjoy the present with.

No. 305877

Him wanting to commit that quickly is a red flag of someone who can potentially be abusive. Plus, you mentioning him having misdemeanors and no ambitions isn’t a good sign either. Sounds like he is also “love bombing” you by excessively flattering you. Sorry, but you shouldn’t “half trust” him. Don’t trust him at all and don’t let him emotionally rope you in. This guy screams of someone who can turn out to be abusive.

No. 305883

Yeah, you're right. At least the sex will be baller, but I can't see a healthy real relationship in this.

No. 305886

Just be careful not to leave anything (message logs and/or pictures) that he can ever use against you.

No. 305928

I think you're overreacting. Flattering someone on a first date isn't love bombing, it's trying to get in. If he says he wants commitment he could well be lying just to get some consistent action rather than a one nighter. As for the misdemeanors… depends what it is, but most guys are risk taking retards who break laws.

Anyway imo you're right that he's not trustworthy, but only in the way any new hookup is untrustworthy until you really know them. I don't see red flags for abuse in what anon said.

No. 305935

>most guys are risk taking retards who break laws
Misdemeanors still cover a lot of antisocial behavior which I wouldn’t say is normal. Plus, they’re on someone’s record for life unless they get a good lawyer to expunge them. I think any guy with any sense of responsibility is going to try avoid that. Getting one misdemeanor may be forgivable depending on the circumstance and if the guy learned his lesson but a record of multiple misdemeanors tends to be indicative of something seriously wrong such as a pathologically impulsive and self-destructive personality.

You’re right though that labeling the behavior as love bombing is a bit of a stretch. Guys will do whatever it takes to get laid like you said.

No. 305937

anon im happy that youre feeling more confident in yourself, but if you're already having doubts and second thoughts that isnt a good sign. not that you should trust someone after a first date, you shouldn't, but the criminal past and lack of drive/career are huge red flags for me.

i would say as long as youre firm in this being just fun sex, and don't get attached to him, then you're fine. don't tie your self esteem to him finding you attractive and treating you with affection. thats the bare minimum of what you deserve in a relationship, this guy isn't special for providing that, and you don't need him.

No. 305971

I'm at the point where I realize my relationship is pretty much over with my boyfriend. We've gone way past the honey moon stage and now we're just cohabitating. It's like we've been married for 30+ years. While there's general chemistry and we do like each other, there's just nothing romantic or sexual anymore.
I thought I would be fine with it because I really do love him but now I just feel like what's the point in us calling each other a couple? We're both young and I do want to enjoy my life a bit more before I'm old and even more bitter.
He's told me before that he's never really loved me loved me and I thought that after time passed he'd maybe develop more feelings but nothings changed. I still clung because he was interested in me sexually and we did go on dates before and I was pretty in love. But now he just comes home, plays vidya and that's it.
I can't see myself leaving him though because it's like he's a part of me? Like having him around has become the normal. Plus, he's literally my only link to the outside world because I have no friends and live away from my family.

I just wish there was a time machine so I could go back to the past and enjoy the relationship a bit more. I also wish I could understand his emotions more because even when I try to talk about it he just kind of shuts down then the next day pretends nothing happened.

No. 305984

File: 1538896873728.png (131.43 KB, 528x321, FB542992-BE03-4A4F-A89A-047750…)

I was in a very similar situation last year before ending my relationship on new years. I lost all feeling and felt apathetic toward him despite him still having feelings.

It’s easier said than done, but just end it. If you’ve already acknowledged that the relationship is inevitably dying and that both of your romantic feelings for eachother are nullifying, then the relationship will inescapably end up dead in the future so it’s better to just get it over with.

You might think you made a huge mistake at first and idealize all the good times you’ve had, but, after time has passed and you’re able to look at the relationship objectively in retrospect, you’ll feel freed and realize it was for the best. That was my experience, at least.

>he's literally my only link to the outside world because I have no friends and live away from my family.

I relate to this so much. I still have no irl friends and am extremely isolated. Nevertheless, I don’t regret my decision to break up with him. Also, there’s nothing more exciting and invigorating than finding a new love interest who reciprocates your feelings. Find someone who makes you feel wanted.

No. 306014

>Plus, he's literally my only link to the outside world because I have no friends and live away from my family.
Not gonna sugarcoat it anon, but this is a tremendous, scary responsibility to place on a single person. I've been in a relationship where I was literally the only friend my partner had and their fulltime social crutch they wanted to drag everywhere. It's extremely suffocating and stressful when you have to be there for them all the time and take them into consideration with EVERYTHING because, like you said, they see you as a part of their own identity. Before leaving him I suggest you get a life of your own and maybe see where the relationship goes from there.

No. 306015

I haven't been watching porn regularly for a year so far. But I tried watching it like a week ago and saw such weird vaginas jfc. I thought you guys were over exaggerating about these "Somalia pussies" but holy shit you were actually right. No clit, no (minora?) labia, just a slit wtfff. I should have listened to my sisters ;-;

No. 306035

My elderly relatives are feuding and venting about it to me. They tell different stories about what’s happening and try to make me take sides and I don’t know how to nicely tell these old crazies to just stop fucking talking to me. It makes me so anxious everytime my phone lits up. My relatives are a lot like the people on r/justnofamily and the like. I’ve been distancing myself from them for years, never been close in the first place, but every time there’s drama they suddenly need me. Idk how much more uninterested I can act. I’d love to block them all but then the rest of my relatives would hate me… And they give me money. I’ve been listening to narcissistic abuse all my life for some pocket change lol. I guess I deserve this. I’m gonna let them be worried about my finances as long as I need to listen to them.

No. 306038

My bf (whom I never met but have been with him 2 years) is psyhically abusing me maybe..?
I don't fucking know but I always see red flags and my mom and ex-friends (because I had to get rid of them because of him) really say that he is abusive and that he is not good for me. I am antisocial and I only have friends on the internet but still he tries to stop me from making friends irl too.
I had 3-5 really good friends (females) online, he has seen that they are not okay with our relationship (tho i didin't listen to them and talked about other things) and he told me they are traitors and fake and not good in my life. tho they helped me alot. He told me to block everyone. He was jealous of my best friend. He wanted to know where I was, what I was doing and alot of details of my life. He told me I was a whore because some people took advantage of me when I was young and vulnerable.
He outed all those things to my mum tho I made a pact with my bff to keep the secret and I hoped I will keep it forever. (it wasn't even for a good reason, he did it because my mom saw our messages one day and told him he was a manipulator for telling me that i am a "whore, slut" for something that was NEVER my fault.
He always compares his life to mine and make me feel worthless. For example before when he wanted "to be right" or to get what he wants (to make me stop trying to be friends with people/stop engaging in school activities) he would tell me that I was trash and be like "my life is perfect, look at you when I found you you were trash" or some shit. (the truth is his life isn't perfect at all and he's not perfect, it's the fact that I see him that way that makes his ego blow). Yeah, he has good sides too like being a total cutie, being nice and sometimes caring for me.. But… I just want to end it all bc I get so many red flags but I grew so attached to him.. And he told me that when we will meet (really soon) everything will be okay. But the truth is idfk what it will be. And he will probably try to isolate me again from the world.. (sorry for my pitiful self-post)

No. 306042

How old are you, anon? This guy is awful. You can do much better.

No. 306046


I am almost 18 (legal age) and he is 19.
And thanks.
I always try but I kinda get back into that hole again.

No. 306048

>sometimes caring for me
It shouldn't be sometimes. It should be ALL THE TIME. This is textbook abusive behaviour and the cycle of fighting then him suddenly being nice to you for a little bit, only for another blowup to happen eventually and repeat. Get the fuck away from this person, anon.

No. 306050

Tbh when I wrote that I realised what a clusterfuck our relationship was and I am on the path to get the fuck out. It will be rough but I am trying to get better and get healed.

No. 306058

I wish I could sleep forever and never wake up.

My boyfriend mocks me, saying all I do is lie in bed and screw around on the internet. All I'm doing in reality is I'm filling in the awake hours of nothing to do, waiting to go to sleep again.

Sleep is the only thing I actually enjoy.

No. 306063

I think you should really get your life together tho. That is really not a way of life, trust me.
You should get a hobby or something.

No. 306081

It's elections day in Brazil and the winning candidate in the polls is the one loser who thinks dictatorships are cool and literally said to beat up gays

I'm half desperate and half raging that brazilians are so fucking stupid they fall for the old "red scare" tactic of claiming there's a communist threat that needs to be eradicated through a military dictatorship
Literally all this guy can bring to the table is "get rid of commies hurr durr" even though no commies are threatening the country
All his economic projects are trash that will ruin the country and break the economy, he has no plan for health or education that's not "kill gays hurrr" and people vote for him just because he's as openly racist, misogynist and homophobic as they wish they could be without any consequences

As a lesbian i'm greatly worried but also hoping that SOME FUCKING COMMON SENSE can get through the people

(BR anons: in case of dictatorship, let's make a kawaii resistance group and fuck their shit up)

No. 306150


Anon I'm BR too and I'm really worried if he wins even though I'm not LGBT. Trump is a saint if compared to him and his sons. I went to vote today at morning and I was shocked at how many braindead, moronic and straight-up nazis supporters he got. Unlike me, my brothers and a cousin that hangs out with us, my parents are incredibly dumb, never bother to make their research and are easily manipulated by ANYONE or fake news so of course voted for him because of the IN THE NAME OF FAAAAMILY bullshit. They think gay people are disease, MILD homosexuality portrayed on soap operas is "the end of the times" and say that deserve to be wiped from the earth. I witnessed one of their super hateful and ignorant rants this week and I got so sick that I threw up thrice. What makes me sick is how what two men or women do inside 4 walls enrages them a lot more than disgusting sick shit like paedophilia. If this devil wins, imagine the chaos our country will become.

I'm sending you hugs and stay safe please!

No. 306165

File: 1538941183954.jpg (41.34 KB, 537x477, DH-PvWsUMAAy3jG.thumb.jpg.6dd1…)

So about an hour ago roommate texts me saying that she saw a cute DS XL for sale. I tell her I'm interested in it but don't expect anything. She later tells me she got it for me without asking and justifies that other people were eyeing it. Now she keeps reminding me that I owe her yet I didn't even ask.

No. 306166

My friends and family convinced me to take up a study that were supposedly perfect for me. I finally gave in after feeling like I had no direction or ambition in my life. Everyone were so excited to see me finally take on this path.

I find myself not motivated at all. I do the tasks and deliveries and study what I need to get a decent enough grade, but I don't go above the minimum effort to learn. It shows in my work and the teachers are pointing it out in their feedback. I could fix it if I just put more time into the tasks, but by the end of the week as we're supposed to deliver, my interest for the subject has dropped to complete zero. I just want to get it done, get my grade and not have to think about it any longer.

I keep this to myself because I don't want to disappoint anyone. I talk excitedly about what I'm learning when people ask me. I don't feel like I'm flat out failing at it, it's just that I'm not doing it well either, or as well as people think I probably could.

I'm just going to trudge through it and see if it might get better. At least I'm doing something, even if I'm not doing it well.

No. 306168

Thanks anon, i will try and stay safe through this election. And yeah, Trump is NOTHING compared to this wannabe tropical Hitler. At least Trump is not saying military dictatorships are good and that he supports torture, or that the 64s dictators' mistake was just torturing rather than killing.

There are literally people with nazi party shirts in the streets and i just wonder how can someone be so retarded. (I want gringo anons to keep in mind that 80% of Brazil is mixed race, almost all of these nazis are pardos.) This is some galaxy brain shit.

No. 306173

lol, good one. but cant you two just cancel the order or return it

No. 306175

I feel really bad because I yelled at my mom and got upset over something that was not a problem, and it was something silly that I should have checked beforehand. I apologized immediately after I realized I was wrong but it doesn’t feel like it was enough because I get so terribly bitchy when I’m in a bad mood.

No. 306185

No return policy

No. 306209

Having a parent who is something of a celebrity (not anyone people here would know, but important in my country) makes me realize how much bullshit gets slung around by the masses. People talk about shit they know absolutely nothing about with a weird confidence that makes other, unknowing people believe them.
Stop falling for stupid "blind items". I know they're juicy, but 80% of the time, they're written by ex-friends and jilted lovers or family members with an axe to grind (which is why sometimes they have elements of truth mixed in), or just complete losers who should keep their stories on fanfiction.net where they belong. I found a few posts in a thread (on another site) about one of my parents, and I wanted to correct them because they were talking nonsense, but I couldn't. The posts were already months old. Plus, I knew jumping in with inside knowledge would essentially be doxxing myself, and it'd only bring more negative attention. It's frustrating. I can almost say I understand the Ostrengas and their constant need to samefag, WK themselves/each other, etc, but I know better than to actually try.

No. 306261

I wish I had more people my age in my life. I'm in an age gap relationship and I don't have friends my age.

No. 306262

It's me again and I'm fucking sad looking at the tv and see the tropical hitler winning. If there is a second round, I'll make sure to vote the prisoner's puppy just to help with avoiding making the dictactorfag winning. I'm not very eccentric but I still was fucking scared today when I went out to vote, you never know when the braindead followers are carrying a loaded gun. When I came home two idiots were wearing a shirt with his face and holding the Brazil flag telling people to vote him, I'm done with this shit anon. For you who is a LGBT I'm sure it's a lot more terrifying, but I believe there will be another impeachment or at least he's NOT going to be on power for very long.

Hugs and take care

No. 306267

Thanks for the reply anon. It's not at the point where breaking up is the best thing to do yet but it seems to be getting there so I'm a bit resistant. When he gets home today I'll talk with him properly to see what he thinks. I hope I'm just feeling this way only because I don't understand his feelings.

I definitely understand and didn't think of it that way. I do want to say though, he doesn't know he's my only link because I don't make it seem that way. We don't hang out or do anything together that much so he's not really taking me into consideration or being dragged around. If anything, I don't have friends only BECAUSE I don't go out and am always wanting to draw/work/study. We work(ed) so well because we both just like being left alone. But I do appreciate your honesty and I really should work on myself. Maybe if I got out more and gained confidence I won't be so paranoid about our relationship.

No. 306270

File: 1538958531273.gif (448.23 KB, 400x174, MetallicCandidIcelandicsheepdo…)

>word is "assume"
>should be pronounced as əˈsoom
>people say "Ashooeme" for some reason
If you are an English native speaker that pronounces the word "assume" as "aSHOOme" you should go back to fucking pre-school.
I had to waste five minutes of my life searching if there was another crazy pronunciation of the word because dumb youtubers can't speak their own mother tongue.

No. 306274

Hey cathy.

No. 306292

Honestly my worst fear is that even if the dictatorfag (lmao) gets impeached we'll just get another military dictatorship. Hundreds dead or missing because fuckers think the way of solving the country's problems is through violence instead of THINKING ABOUT THE PROBLEMS LOGICALLY MAYBE. I fucking hate this country, it should sink into the ocean. It's full of dumb shits who think simple solutions for complex issues will solve anything.
I hate Lula but i'll vote for his servant too just to avoid being arrested and killed for being gay in public.

No. 306300

Hey, we can always go the refugee rote if the worst happens lmao

No. 306301

They could have a lisp.

No. 306303

Nope, it's not the first native I hear saying it like that and they never have a lisp but somehow manage to fuck up that word.
I guess it must be a white thing, like in how black people can't pronounce "ask".

No. 306306

it's not pronounced ah soom in British English. It's ah syume, which is pretty close to ashoom.

No. 306307

>My bf (whom I never met but have been with him 2 years) is psyhically abusing me maybe..?
what an absolute clusterfuck of a sentence

No. 306312

Anon, pls.

No. 306314

It's just a weird British pronunciation, like shedule for schedule
I also know people who do video related

No. 306323

I never get cat-called or hit on. Even when I go to parties or music festivals. In fact I get so little attention at music festivals I feel comfortable going alone. I never even had anything happen when I went to NYC. At this point I feel like I'm ugly or guys think I'm autistic.

No. 306332

It’s not a good feeling when you get cat-called by ugly, old dudes. The only type of men who cat-call tend to be trash.

No. 306336

I'm in an abusive relationship, they call me ugly, a loser and even kick me in the face sometimes. They only want me when they need something, I feel like a lab rat. God please help me

No. 306338

God won't help you if you don't take control over your life and get out to a women's shelter or friend/family house.
You deserve to be safe,respected and treated well anon.

No. 306419

I'm currently talking on facebook with a girl who is an ex of my ex.
My ex was a major piece of shit, abusive and manipulative and a sociopath. He's almost killed me once.
And now there's this girl coming out of a relationship with him who looks to me for support. She's already very suicidal and recently relapsed with self-harm. I want to help her, because I lived this too, I've been with this dick, but I'm just really awkward and unsociable and I don't think I can help her out at all besides lending an ear to her troubles.
Is it enough? I don't know.

No. 306426

You’re definitely doing a lot for her by just listening already. I imagine it at least makes her feel less alone. Hopefully she is seeking professional help though because that’s what she really needs. I think that doing anymore than you have already risks putting you in the position of being an emotional crutch for her which wouldn’t be helpful for either of you.

No. 306442

I think listening to her and validating that she's not crazy and the guy was actually a piece of shit is very helpful. I'd encourage her to get extra help, though.

No. 306578

i've gotten myself in situations that have been pretty "complicated" and i feel like everyone is a burden to who i wanna be and what i wanna do.i dont feel like i got my own space and my time isnt worth as much.i wanna focus on myself but i cant.wish i could be totally alone on a mountain or something

No. 306651

There is an art teacher at my school who has creeped on some of my classmates through Facebook. I kind of wish they would just out him since he’s fairly well-known online (he has over 100k followers on Instagram) and the resulting shitstorm would be quite something.

No. 306680

File: 1539039271253.png (840.16 KB, 1242x2208, 586A53C9-A3C9-49CE-839B-19CCEA…)

CAN someone tell me why white women keep doing this shit? Out of the 20 or so women that I asked personally at work, 11 out of the total suported Kavanaugh and 8 were white, 1 was asian and 2 were Hispanic.

No. 306686

Less to do with their race and far more to do with them not wanting to lose their positions of power and money.

No. 306689

So you're saying you believe Ford's spotty story and impeccable timing to sell it to the huff post?
For reference I'm a hispanic woman and I'm still in awe over this being a women vs men vs white women vs poc vs any other kind of identity politic issue. Maybe those white women foot soldiers just don't like destroying someone's life over bullshit claims.

No. 306711

Why are the people on /g/ so rude? I just want to contribute to a conversation or give some friendly advice or something and half the time I'm met with a really nasty answer. Isn't there a better way to write that you don't agree with me? It makes me sad, I'm not even trying to be aggressive, preachy, or anything else.

No. 306714

/g/ is cc lite tbh. Wonder if it's full of trannies too (would explain why the cute girls threads full of r9k-teir waifu bait is more popular than the cute boys thread when all the lesbos of lc roost on /ot/)

No. 306719

What are you trying to discuss?

No. 306885

im scared i might be a pedophile tbh. i was molested by my older sister when i was 4-7 and unfortunately did the same to my much younger brother when i was 7-11 (which still haunts me to this day).

as young as 8 year old i fantasized about being raped by older men and fucking men as old as 40. by the time i was 12 i "dated" a 28 year old man and had phone sex with him. for a while the idea of having sex with a much older man while i was a lot younger than him excited the fuck out of me and i masturbated and fantasized to it a lot. i also got addicted to really fucked up porn as young as 9 years old.

right now im 20. sometimes i can find myself masturbating to the thought of some of my childhood experiences and the idea of me being fucked as a 12 year old again. its so disgusting. im not trolling at all but im really scared i might be a pedo. i know im pathetic..

No. 306886

i forgot to mention i was forced into giving another girl my age oral sex when i was 5. that has something to do with it too i think

No. 306887

I typed a lot of stuff but it was a bit too graphic, but in short I relate a lot to what you're saying although I didn't suffer any abuse.
As long as you're not thinking sexually of other children and not doing anything harmful it's fine Anon, don't beat yourself up. You recognize your fantasies are fucked up and that's already something.

No. 306891

I see and yeah, I'm not thinking of other children or doing anything harmful or like that. these feel like forced ocd thought patterns and some trauma which is haunting me..

No. 306911

I'm so sorry that happened to you anon what happened wasn't your fault. Suffering trauma such as invasive thoughts as a result of your childhood abuse isn't the same as being a pedophile, obviously there is a line you need to be self aware not to cross as an adult and it must be horrible being scared of that all the time but if you were that kind of cruel person then you would not be caused so much anxiety by these thoughts.
Can you access any kind of abuse/crisis counseling?

No. 306912

i think to be a pedophile means u need to be attracted to kids and ur fantasy is about your younger vulnerable body. some women have rape fantasies and it has to do with power balance like bdsm. imagining your younger self increases the power difference as your imagining yourself at your most vulnerable state

so dont feel guilty about it. the part about ur little brother is messed up, but it happens.

my older brother took advantage of me because an older guy took advantage of him. it sucks that our relationship will never be a normal sibling relationship ever again

No. 306922

File: 1539083323080.jpg (60.65 KB, 500x375, MikeMuir.jpg)

All I ever needed or wanted was someone to tell me what to do.

I'm not sure why what other people want was more important than what I want.

Thats why I work so rabidly at work. Nothing makes me more anxious, depressed, and angry that someone was not happy with me.

All I wanted was a guy that I could buy things for, cook food for, make his children for, to make happy. I would wear whatever he wanted. Go to his retarded ass parties. Hell, I would even meet his family for him even though I'm certain I would have a panic attack.

Too late did I learn that People, Men don't want subservience from me: they wanted a person. Someone who they could learn from. That could challenge them. That would make their lives richer by virtue, not by materials or service.

And now I have nothing. I am nothing. I'm a flat blob wasting one of the greatest opportunities anyone could ever have.

I love love so much I don't love anything else but what love got to do with it when you don't love yourself

No. 306929

>Too late did I learn that People, Men don't want subservience from me: they wanted a person. Someone who they could learn from. That could challenge them. That would make their lives richer by virtue, not by materials or service.

You must be new to lolcow, this is certainly not what most of the board thinks of men. Where did you get the idea men want a "person"?
The rich caring wife is the dream imo

No. 306933

Fibromyalgia is killing me, I can't fucking take it anymore meds and physical therapy doesn't work. My doctor doesn't know what to do, I just want someone to end me, I can't take this fucking pain anymore.

No. 306947

She's coming over today and I don't really know what I should do, because I haven't had anyone over for a long, long time. What do people even do when they're on their own.
I hope I can make it a bit better for her. I will try to convince her to go to a doctor too. She needs therapy, it's kinda obvious.

No. 306948

I'm fighting scabies for like 1 month and a half now and I seem to be finally winning but I'm paranoid as hell that there's still something waiting to hatch under my skin and thinking about buying ivermectin again, but it's so expensive.
On the upper side at least my hair and skin are super shinny now, considering all the sulfur, special soap, clove oil, garlic and aloevera that I've been putting on myself.

No. 306950

nta but i get what she's saying. she's not even talking about being a caring wife. even shitty men want their wife to be able to make some decisions on their own. anon sounds like she needs hand holding to decide when to clean the house.

No. 306958

Sounds like she wants to be parented again tbh, I can understand that feeling sometimes.

No. 306960

I really fucking hate that I'm always there for people when they're having meltdowns or spiraling out and whenever I finally fucking snap and fall apart it's always just "I can't help you until you stop doing this, so I'm just gonna go"

Like cool thanks for making me feel worse for being unable to handle things anymore even though I was there holding your hand through everything but fuck me right

No. 306962

I don't know how to deal with solitude. My bf is great and he makes me happy, but without him, lately, I haven't been able to find interest/enjoyment in pretty much anything. I've been suicidal my whole life, once very nearly succeeded, and he's the only real reason why I haven't reattempted. I know I'm clingy and I expect unreasonable things out of him, but I don't know how to enjoy anything by my own anymore. Things I used to lose hours upon hours in do nothing for me anymore, I just look at the clock and take sedatives.

No. 306968

Not so much of a vent, but does anyone else have problems with containing their laughter in inappropriate situations?

Few weeks ago, a good friend of mine came crying because someone poisoned her dog and my stupid brain for some reason thought it was funny.
I do cry when I see animals hurt. I can't suppress my tears when I'm alone and reading about a gruesome story where an animal was hurt or killed. I cry even during movies when such things happen. But when I'm with someone, I can't stop laughing. It's the same thing with people or anything sad. I loved my grandmother more than anything and while I cried for days and night after she passed, I kept laughing during the funeral.

I tried to explain that to her and I thought she would understand but she already cancelled all of our plans ever since.

I'm so pissed.

No. 306970

I do sometimes, it's just a coping mechanism for whatever reason and I wish people would understand that it's not because anything is funny, it's more like hysterical laughter.

No. 306972

> it's more like hysterical laughter.

Precisely. I wish there were some tricks or training to stop that. I genuinely felt sorry and angry that something like that happened to her yet my expression was anything but that.

While she was crying, I was laughing. It was such an absurd scene. The more she cried, the louder I laughed.

No. 307080

Sorry for responding to this late, but I really appreciate your advice anon! I definitely feel like I could be in a better place mentally and it’s probably affecting my perspective on school. Also when it comes to my major I feel left out because everyone else in my major does well and has already accomplished a lot but I’m just barely getting by. It sucks because I know I could be good at my major, and I’ve taken courses related to my major at a community college over the summer and did well, so it seems like I’m just not happy where I’m at to do well in the courses here. I’m going to see how this semester goes, but I’m considering taking some courses outside of my current college next semester to see what I really want to with the rest of my education. Also I’m glad to hear you’re happy with your school now, good luck with everything!

No. 307210

Feeling very frustrated about my low self esteem. I have been flirting with a new guy at work but my teen years as an ugly duckling mean that instead of being able to enjoy flirting, I am just projecting into the future where if I managed to somehow get into a romantic situation with the dude despite my face, he would be disgusted and ghost me if it became sexual because of my body.

I don't enjoy sex,etc because I have always felt like my body was designed to be as sexually repulsive as is possible and so I'm not meant to do it. In every sexual experience I've had, I have felt like I was playing a role and even if I have enjoyed it at the time, I feel disgusting afterwards because I'm embarrassed that I had the audacity to do it. Since I was much younger, I have thought about how much uglier I look when I'm smiling and how maybe that means that I'm not meant to be happy.

My life in general is actually going pretty well, and it's so frustrating that the way I feel about my appearance can't follow that. I hate how shallow I am and can't help but feel that all the strides I make in my career are really just attempts to make up for not being pretty enough. I can honestly say I would trade my dream job, which I have, for being attractive, so now even the fact that I've had some success doesn't feel how it should.

I really just want to accept myself and get rid of the bitterness I have towards more attractive women, and be able to have good relationships and maybe even enjoy sex! But I feel like my chubby teenage insecurity is haunting me and I can't get rid of it.

No. 307245

I really dislike talking to insensitive and unempathic people or these who want to look edgy/badass all the time. While I hate when people romanticize or make everything about their mental issues, it pisses me off on how cold/edgy some people try to come off as, worse is when they try to compare hungry children in Africa for example to someone being depressed or going through abuse, it makes me cringe so much.

No. 307261

samefag but I had a mistake of telling someone in our friend circle something I went through that caused me PTSD thinking they would treat me appropriately or at least be understanding of it but they've been as cold as ice, as if it wasn't nothing major. I feel so dumb for thinking they would be understanding of it.

No. 307304

My online boyfriend of one month (I know, I know) and I broke up this week. We had a really good connection and despite only knowing him for 3 months in total I felt a really strong attachment to him, stronger than anyone I've ever met before. He was one of the few people (let alone men) I've met in my life who I really felt that I could be myself around. However, we had an argument over some differing ideology and personal beliefs which I really cannot let go of and move past, so in anger I told him that I would have to stop talking to him. I'm still firm in my convictions, but I can't stop fluctuating between accepting that we are not compatible and being strong and hopeful for the future, and feeling lonely and hopeless and wanting to relent and see past the different beliefs and beg him to forgive me and not hate me and see if we can make it work (I think I really pissed him off so not sure if it's worth trying anyways). I feel really weak and pathetic for wasting so much time crying and rereading messages and constantly deleting then redownloading the app we spoke on. I never even met him in real life and we only talked for three months but everywhere I go I feel like his ghost is following me or something. I know that in the future it will all be okay and that maybe this eventually had to happen (I had some other doubts about this) but I just can't stop missing him. I'm pretty sure he also told our online group of friends (how I met him) about this fight and now I feel embarrassed and that perhaps they hate me. Either way I'm certain they like him better than me and I don't want to make them uncomfortable by continuing to hang around. They were the only people I talked to consistently so now I just feel so alone and uncertain about where life is going from here. I know it'll all work out. I just have to keep myself busy and see that life goes on.

No. 307306

What was the disagreement about, anon?

No. 307331

I do my best to distract myself from that, but I am a completely broken piece of shit for no reason whatsoever. Trying to fix myself feels unfeasable. I am like a broken piece of tech that unprofitable to fix. Why waste time and money when you can chuck the whole thing into a garbage can and get it over with?
I do not have any suicide plan byt I can tell you that I can't wait till I get relieved from myself and it's finally over

No. 307362

File: 1539146270395.jpg (22.18 KB, 500x375, 97c.jpg)

I'm starting to realize that my family is lowkey abusive.

I'm currently 27. I still live at home. I have social anxiety and depression, which makes me unable to form strong bonds with others, so in the past, I've depended on them for support. Now I know that deep down my family loves and cares about me but they can be off at times, to say at least. Especially when we get into arguments.

I came home from work today. I was pretty tired because I've been working a lot recently. Aunt asks me to take out the bins to the curb. I say sure but give me a minute because I need to go to the bathroom. Mom suddenly gets furious and storms out of the house to pull the bins herself. Apparently, I had an "attitude" (I did not). Then a shouting match between my mom and I occurs. I tell her that she had no right to act like that. She then accuses me of not doing anything around the house (Not true. Occasionally, I can be absent minded but I try to help out when I can and I don't mind being asked to do stuff). I tried talking to my aunt about and she said that I did have a bit of an attitude (Again, bullshit). Of fucking course she takes my mom side, even though my mom was acting like a crazy person.

I feel pathetic for still living at home. The few times that I attempted to move out, they ended up "convincing" me to come back home, which I did. My aunt makes bitchy comments that I can't live on my own from time to time even though I'm almost 30. I may not be the most mature 27 year old but I'm definitely not the most immature either.

Whenever we get into an argument, 98% of the time me vs. them. They always back each other up even when one of them acted like a complete jackass. I'm always the bad guy, no matter what. That's another thing, they love to bring up my flaws and how I fuck up a lot. Particularly my aunt (Even though my mom is a psycho bitch, she at least doesn't mind telling me that she's proud of me when she's in a good mood. So that's something at least).

I feel like a fucking loser. I wasted my 20s clinging onto to people who don't treat me well as they should because I was so scared of other people. I want to be independent but I'm so scared that everything is gonna fall apart and I'll be crawling back to them again. Even if they aren't truly abusive, I don't think it's healthy to be around them all the time and to depend on them. I feel like it's kinda stunted me in a way. I don't know what to do, honestly.

No. 307396

God dammit I start my first day at work tomorrow but I feel so nervous I can’t put my phone down and fucking sleep I have to get up and get ready in 3 hours and work an 8 hours shift and I can’t sleep at all.

I’m supremely fucked.

No. 307398

That's not "lowkey" abusive, that's completely normal. Your example about the trash thing sounds exactly the same like my sister and mom sometimes have. My mom asks her to do something and she says "in a second". Of course that's bound to piss her or your parents as well off. Only difference is you're in your late 20s, not 13…
Your aunt probably simply no longer want you to live at home, which is also kind of understandable. Maybe it's the same for your mom as well and she simply doesn't want to outright tell you and that's why she's so tense.

No. 307401

you guys sound like you have communication issues

No. 307403

When I read your post, I thought it was something I wrote a year ago and forgot about it.

I had the exact same situation just without an aunt. I was basically walking on eggshells in order to not anger anyone. I would pay the rent and gave a bit for groceries and with my every attempt to move out, my parents would also convince me to stay. But then, on a weekly basis, something would trigger my mother and she would start a fight.
She was looking for arguments despite being the most vocal against me moving. It could have been anything and most of the time, it was something done by someone else or even her.

I had enough, moved out and never looked back. Once you move out, it won't matter how old you were when you moved out, and in today's economy and depending on your country, it's not strange for young adults to still live with their parents.

I would call it sort of abuse. My parents, my mother in particular, knew I had social anxiety and kind of encouraged that. Then she would find the tiniest reason to threaten with throwing me out and so on. When things were good, they were great, but when she got in her foul mood, it was hell broke loose. It was extremely stressful and it made things worse for me and had a negative impact on my self-worth.

I'd advise you to move out but don't rush. Give yourself a few months to plan, manage your finances so that you won't have to ask your family for a thing or even worse, to move back in. Avoid making quick decisions but it's obvious that you can't keep living with someone that will stress you for trivial stuff. Especially with work, you ought to relax after spending all day somewhere else, and not have someone nag you to death.

It's only normal if you're a major cunt.

No. 307472

I can't get over a guy who rejected me a month ago. We went on one date (a miracle) and to be fair we didn't get along very well as people since he's quite extroverted, but theoretically all of our other traits (future careers, similar biracial struggle, both enjoy the arts) should have meshed. And God is he 100% what I find attractive. I'm just upset that he wasn't what I wanted him to be and that he dislikes me as a person. I'm also upset at myself for being such a sperg that no man would want to even consider me romantically.

On another note, I really despise all of humankind and it's causing me a bit of background stress today. I try to hate one group over another sometimes (misandry, boomer hate, rich people hate, even had a misogyny phase), but realistically every group is shitty. I just want everyone to die already.

No. 307475

try being less full of hate?

No. 307484

Saying "in a second" shouldn't start a fighting match if anon is the type of person who does it. There are people who are unnecessarily combative and it doesn't help to pretend that shit is normal or healthy. People freaking out over something taking a second longer are going to give themselves heart attacks, or cause their families to have them. Life is already stressful enough.

No. 307487

I wish we would stop hiring young people going to school
I’ve been at my job for 7 years and never have we had so many problems like we do with them
They’re kids who live with mom and dad and don’t really care about the job
This is a job you need to care about!
They’ve called out so many times and it’s just getting frustrating!

No. 307502

I had a major fight with my boyfriend last week. We had supposedly made up, but I can't help still feel resentful and it also feels like he still has a wall up. I've already apologized for my part of the fight so I don't feel that I should continue apologizing for it. He has yet to give me an actual apology for his part, all he said was "I didn't know you felt that way" and didn't validate my feelings at all. We saw each other for like five minutes on Monday before he left for his shift and I couldn't help but be snappy towards him. He's supposed to be home this weekend but I don't know if we're still going to be fighting or back to normal. I don't want to still be angry when he gets back, but it's hard to push that feeling away since he pretty much left everything on me. I wish we didn't live with each other, I think we need some more permanent time apart.

No. 307531

Jesus, he was so lucky to get away.

>he dislikes me as a person

makes sense, sounds like a reasonable/cool guy.

No. 307561

File: 1539188244651.jpg (278.05 KB, 1024x683, 108196892-1024x1024.jpg)

> On another note, I really despise all of humankind and it's causing me a bit of background stress today. I try to hate one group over another sometimes (misandry, boomer hate, rich people hate, even had a misogyny phase), but realistically every group is shitty. I just want everyone to die already.

Heh, never thought that I'd read a post that would resonate with me on such an intimate level. We were just never meant for this society, sis.

Also, I consider nature the only thing worth fighting for and think us humans are the biggest cancer.

r8 my edge

No. 307586

Can I…happy vent?
I ended a six year relationship today because my now ex was toxic as fuck
Holy shit I was so scared but now I feel so free
I no longer have to feel that drop in my stomach when I see his caller ID
I don’t have to dread discord calls
I’m fucking free from abuse, from shit
I was so upset earlier but now I feel so fucking happy

No. 307589

>Jesus, he was so lucky to get away.
Just cause anon is a misantrophist?

I guess my vent is that I am really tired of anons judging other anons by few sentences. Feels like so many people here are just waiting for an excuse to tear other people down. But taking into account how much there is of nitpicking looks of boring cows, I should not be surprised.

No. 307591

>just live in denial

Maybe. The dream would have been to financially support his artistic endeavours but I guess the cost of spending time with a reclusive pessimist outweighed the benefit.
He didn't seem to think of the things I often get caught up in much, at least from what I could tell from our conversation. I also didn't portray my intentions well.

Anyway I don't wish I'll on him; I hope he finds the positive and outgoing normie gf of his dreams. My ego just hurts and I'm feeling down about the situation I'm in romantically. In the grand scale, not just regarding him.

I agree with all of this. Loving animals more than people is a big meme but I feel like that often.
Although I would like a life partner (evidently) and I love my close friends, humans as a group are awful. We just ruin everything including each other. I hate hearing about the amount of infanticide, child abuse, and rape in the world but I also don't want to bury my head in the sand.
10/10 edge bc it's true

No. 307624

you straight up sound like an incel, stop acting like you're worth something to him simply because it suits your perspective. he didn't like you. possibly for many reasons. but either way he didn't. just stop.

anon isn't a misanthrope she's a piece of shit.

No. 307627

I adopted a cat from a French shelter 3 days ago. They assured me that she was fine. Well, she entered the clinic this morning and won't leave before next week. Those fuckers were letting her die slowly and didn't notice that she was puking, had diarrhea, had anemia, had parasites by the thousand and was severely underweight (long fur so harder to see, but come on). The shelter was in a horrid state too and the workers were all very young people too busy taking cigarette breaks to help around. Seriously, sincerly, profoundly fuck them. I'm happy that I picked that cat because otherwise she probably would have died there.

No. 307629

This shit happened to me. My cat of 4 years now, had a stomach virus and wasn't eating. I called and told them something was up with her and they asked if I wanted to bring her back, hell no!

I just remember when I was looking at cats, the one I picked gently grabbed my ankle when I was there, and I felt something.

You saved your kitty, anon!

No. 307633

You're right, I am a piece of shit.

No. 307637

ntayrt but I am >>307531.

You need to look at yourself and want to improve. Be reflective of who you are and your traits - what's good? bad etc? what do you desire in life?

And I was only an asshole because what you said makes me feel like you are probably a toxic person. People who hate humans are usually self-important and project their negative attitude/heart. There are SO many people who are help that are struggling to save the environment, animals and their fellow human. And they're worth despising? Yes, humankind has many flaws and we are hurting the planet so badly. But we can also be kind and loving.

Anyways I bet you're not a piece of shit deep down, you just need to work on yourself. Also you didn't need this in a vent thread so sorry mate (that was dickhead-ish of me).

No. 307643

Thank you for your kindness. I admit to having some pretty selfish tendencies and I'm trying to change that. I used to be worse, and hopefully I can look back on my attitude now in a few years and say once again that I've changed.

And you're right, it is worth fighting to be one of the good people when so many are bad.

I also was honest in that I hold nothing against the guy, even if it came across as snarky and incel tier. I know I don't deserve anyone and his choice was definitely best for him. Even if I had a lot more to offer than possible money, he's a person with free will. All men are, I'm not owed a boyfriend.

No. 307646

File: 1539202808438.gif (323.24 KB, 192x256, 1536668888391.gif)

I don't know if I should vent here because I'm going to talk about weeb shit but I was looking forward to the French edition of My lesbian experience with loneliness, which is pretty much an autobiography. I haven't read the scans yet. What I just saw is that:
>the first volume costs 18€ instead of the usual more or less 7€ so you'd expect some high quality but,
>the pages are reversed, the book is meant to be read the Occidental way so the art might be fucked up compared to the original
>the cover art is also mirrored
>the editors are exclusively calling it a graphic novel instead of a manga because the term manga still triggers some middle aged people who don't even care about them and the editors want to pander to pretentious assholes who think Jiro Taniguchi doesn't make manga but "bandes dessinées japonaises~~"
>the title is now a shitty pun about gender "solitude d'un autre genre" because the editors wanted to publish something related to the lgbTTTTTTTT so now people who don't know shit about manga will think it's not a filthy manga but a """Japanese graphic novel""" about transsexualism, as if that shit wasn't already shoved down our throats enough
>mfw the media are still pretending they're progressive while trying to erase the fact that the author herself and not a fictional character is a lesbian to the average readers and editors think customers are fucking idiots
>I was going to spend money on this disrespectful trash. 18 fucking euros.

No. 307657

Jesus fucking christ this made me mad. I love that manga and I relate to it tons, this is so fucking disrespectful to the author and the fans of the original it's unimaginable. Just buy it in English as a digital book instead.

No. 307663

I can't believe they're still reversing manga in 2018. Completely agree on the pretentious Taniguchi fans too.

No. 307697

File: 1539211055306.png (580.65 KB, 1128x720, 1538679903376.png)

Any way to deal with social anxiety?
I had that moment dwo days ago, where I was standing first in queue and then two teens went next to me and right after the woman that was buying.
Ofc I didn't say anything but looking at cashier, who was the one to say I was there first.
Even if I go eat alone outdoors, I feel anxious whenever there are too many people around me, like in my mind these groups of people may be thinking I am odd (?).
I am still thinking I am not good enough whenever I wear make-up, cute clothes, etc. That these people around me look and act much cooler and whenever I will interact with them, they will look down at me.
Sorry for being chaotic.

No. 307709


>I am still thinking I am not good enough whenever I wear make-up, cute clothes, etc. That these people around me look and act much cooler and whenever I will interact with them, they will look down at me.

Anon I feel you, but I don't think they will look down at you because there is no reason to unless if they're assholes and if they are, you don't want them in your life. We shouldn't be that worried about impressing people or what they're talking about us because most the times they aren't even thinking anything at all

No. 307711

I worked customer service for four years and it cleared most of my self-consciousness. It just really shows you that most people don't really care about others, only fleetingly.
I can also approach strangers np now. But my conversational skills still lack, so it's not a cure all lmao.

Do you have a job? Or just a student? Or a NEET?

No. 307719

How to overcome the fear of getting pregnant? I want to have sex but avoid it because I'm so afraid of getting preggo.
I'm on BC but honestly doesn't make me feel more safe. I panic after every sexual "thing" I do.

No. 307739

use condoms on top of BC. short of that, you kind of just have to accept there will always been the most minute of chances you could wind up pregnant.

No. 307797

File: 1539239946598.jpg (10 KB, 300x250, superthumb.jpg)

I'm starting a relationship with a guy stupidly out of my league and I don't know how to handle the fear of losing him. I have no idea what he sees in me, I'm depressed and I have a bad temper, I'm a little good looking but I don't think it balances out my shit personality. I'm thinking he wants to date me because he pity me and has a savior complex? I can't accept he might legitimately like me, I keep thinking he's just desperate and want an easy lay.

No. 307798

just break up with the dude, shit self esteem never ends well for anyone

No. 307800

I'm scared of death but want to die so badly
I don't know what to do anymore
the one person I thought cared about me just abandoned me when I needed them most, my life has been a sham since day one, I've done nothing but fuck up and annoy everyone around me
No one cares, the only slightest care I will possibly get is people who get paid to pretend they care
I know for a fact if I died I will make everyone happy
I at least need to cut again to take the pain away but I know everyone will see and I will disappoint everyone around me yet again

No. 307805

I guess being bullied for 3/4 of primary school and picked on till the first class of highschool caused big part of it too.
It got better than it used to be few years ago, but I still have to gain more confidence.
I am a graphic design student, 3rd year.
I don't really feel it at my uni, but more when I go to the city centre or a shopping mall.

No. 307807

I'm only three weeks into a poly relationship with my boyfriend of several years and a girl he goes to uni with - and I'm miserable. My boyfriend knows how unhappy I am, but he's over the moon that he's somehow managed to wrangle two attractive girls. I really liked her the first week but things are already sour. She's terrible in bed - like, everything is constant pain but I feel too polite to tell her to stop. Her breath is always so fucking bad. She constantly talks over me - in fact, it's rare that she EVER stops talking. She will literally keep us up until 6am after talking all night, without anyone else getting a word in edgewise. I know her life story, and she couldn't tell you my middle name. I feel as if she's secretly trying to put me down all the time. She's about 5'4 and constant humble-brags about what a 'smol bean' she is and how hard it was being 'sooo skinny' growing up. Just for context, I'm 5'7 and thin but curvy. What really bothers me about all this is that I've opened up to her about how I struggled badly with my body image my whole life, yet she'll make comments about my 'thick thighs', or how much bigger her tits are. I introduced her to my queer friends yesterday and she told them that I 'probably wasn't gay enough' to be hanging out with them - even though I've been with more women than she has. She goes around telling her friends that my boyfriend has been in love with her for over a year because I told her - being polite - that he thought she was cute even though she had a bad haircut in their first year of uni.

I know my boyfriend likes her and is excited at the prospect of having two girlfriends, but he's being really insensitive to my feelings. The other night I told him how I was feeling and that I was struggling to adjust to everything. We all went to bed right after and she sucked him off while I just laid there next to them.

Sorry for the massive rant. This girl is just getting to be unbearable and I don't know what to do. I've never broken up with anyone before and I don't want to ask my bf to end things because he clearly likes her and has to see her at uni every day anyway so that would complicate things even more.

No. 307808

>getting memed into polyamory

No. 307809

You're being supremely cucked.

No. 307810

is this satire?

No. 307811

This place really is populated by a bunch of bitter cunts.

No. 307825

No offense anon but humans, particularly women, aren't meant to be polyamorous. Also, being poly isn't being queer- you've just been manipulated by a dudebro who wants two girlfriends.

This is what happens when you drink the Tumblr kool-aid. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for you, but you must be an idiot if you didn't expect this to happen.

No. 307828

File: 1539250128793.gif (1.25 MB, 195x229, 9a2.gif)

>The other night I told him how I was feeling and that I was struggling to adjust to everything. We all went to bed right after and she sucked him off while I just laid there next to them.
O-ok… Please love yourself, anon! Don't be in a relationship with a girl you don't like/feel attracted to just to please your bf! The girl is toxic and your bf is a loser. NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY! You don't even enjoy sleeping with her and her personality is even worse; and then there's your bf of "several years" who doesn't care about you at all and doesn't understand you. Who in their right mind gets a blowjob from someone else after his girlfriend opens up to him? ;_;

I really hope you are a troll. If so, good job because this post made me rage hard. You should absolutely ditch both of them or find a type of relationship that suits you better (e.g. having threesomes now and then to spice things up?!)

No. 307834

My asshole cringed while reading this

No. 307835

File: 1539253799770.png (63.59 KB, 624x628, goodbait.png)

>getting memed into being cucked

Fuck off robot, good try for a bait and I don't know why idiots here are falling for it.

No one is this fucking retarded.

No. 307836

Alright you sound really easy to push around which is not a good trait for someone participating in an alt sexual lifestyle. Polyamory should be treated like normal dating to an extent. Otherwise we end up with situations like this. In hindsight you should’ve gone out with her more one on one before agreeing to be in a relationship with her. Most people don’t get into a relationship immediately and then decide if they like the person. I can’t tell if you’re not communicating your boundaries clearly enough or if your boyfriend is a manipulative fuck (probably a bit of both).
You have a few options because as a adult with body autonomy you have the right to them!
1. Break up with her yourself and allow him to continue seeing the two of you separately
2. Break up with the both of them and find a relationship that will work better for you
3. Tell your boyfriend you have re-evaluated things and that you are not polyamorous (as polyamory exists on a spectrum like het to homo) if he doesn’t accept that and tries to manipulate you. Break up with him!
4.) Waste part of your life being in a situation you find uncomfortable until you either end up like lainybot or start mentally breaking down in some other way

No. 307838

Lainey? is that you?

No. 307849

i 100% don't think that's bait…

No. 307858

A personality disorder ridden asshole wants to have the cake and eat it too while disguising his greedy mess as a "poly relationship"? Whoda thunkit!

No but seriously, get the fuck out now when it's still early and it won't scar you forever.

No. 307925

Wtf why are you all sleeping in the same bed?

No. 308053

I hate myself.
I'm a terrible person.
Not a murderer, not an abuser, just a person with a rotten heart.
And yet, despite knowing this, and despite my efforts to become a better person, I still remain what I ultimately am.
I hope that free will is an illusion for my sake, as there are no excuses for my thoughts.
These thoughts crawl outside and affect others and it pains me to see others suffering because they do not deserve this.
Suicide is the only option but I'm not noble enough to commit it. Hopefully, I will do what's best with time.

No. 308171

File: 1539290963445.png (98.25 KB, 527x668, tumblr_nknwa3Ygzs1ryyuyao1_540…)

>use dating apps
>get plenty of options due to being young, female, in-shape, and attractive
>too much of a shut-in nerd to appeal to the attractive, similarly-hot people who do interesting things.
>too good-looking for the other shut-in nerds, i either think they're not on my level or i intimidate them too much.
>never have any dates due to this, or when i do go on a date it never turns into a second one.

wish i was just some ugly girl with no standards sometimes.

No. 308174

Nice bait lol

No. 308175

Nice humblebrag.

This thread is for people with real problems, Becky.

No. 308176

It’s probably an incel

No. 308178

You sure that's why you don't get dates Jan?

No. 308179

you guys are either blackknighting or fucking insane, jesus. being good looking doesn't automatically equal a perfect life. you must not have a lot of life experience if you think that's all it is.

forget i even posted, y'all have issues beyond simple "vent threads". good god.

No. 308192

All you had to say was "The guys who are my types are out of my league and the guys who share my interest aren't my type."

Literally everybody would have understood and supported you if you just left it at that. If you're surprised this happened, you seriously need to get better at reading the room.

No. 308199

if its any consolation, im in the same boat

No. 308201

Because your post made you sound like a vapid dindermuffin.
>wish I was an ugly girl with no standards
Lol, no you don't.

No. 308209

There was a discussion not too long ago where anons made the point that humblebragging was only ever outed in snowflake threads because it was off-topic. Funny how people still lose their shit even in fucking vent threads

Women, humblebrag all you want and don't pay any mind to incel-level low-life cunts who sperg out at other ladies who consider themselves pretty. I swear some of you are as bad as the men you bitch about. Just because you feel like shit doesn't mean other people are obliged to stoop to your level

No. 308213

>implying male nerds aren't so sexually and romantically entitled that they can even be intimidated
>implying male nerds don't believe their reward for being the 'underdog' is a hot woman
for this reason alone, i feel this is bad robot bait. nerd men are not like 80's nerd boy caricatures that are intimidated or put off by the 'hot girl' because they feel they aren't deserving, kek. male entitlement knows no bounds, and uggo losers are especially entitled, but you wouldn't dare acknowledge that, robot.

No. 308232

NTA but you'd be surprised. Not every single nerdy guy is a neckbeard, anon.

No. 308241

enough of them don't exist to make that kind of dude the representation for nerdy males, come on. nerdy males are worse than normie men 9 times out of 10.

No. 308243

Nerdy men are more likely to be insecure, bitter, and socially stunted. Also, it’s easier for a man to become a shitty person rather than someone decent who won’t mistreat women. It makes sense that nerd guys are overall going to be much shittier than even the “Chads” they bitch about.

No. 308252

iktf anon. People expect you to be grounded and stable because that is the role you have always played for them. And then when you crumble, people can't deal with it or accept the possibility that they are a selfish shitty friend so they shut their mind off. I hope you can find good friends who support you one day.

No. 308254

>uggo losers are especially entitled

Can confirm. Just look at lookism.net

No. 308271

File: 1539304708552.jpg (17.9 KB, 380x383, gmdsc.jpg)

i used to rp with my gf in which she played a self insert. she actually wound up falling in love with my character and became obsessed with rping

broke up with her and im feeling absolutely disgusted

No. 308272

Why? That sounds like pretty normal and harmless fun

No. 308274

this went on for a long time. even when i kept expressing this obsession was starting to take a toll on my mental health, she pushed for rping anyways

it was not fun for me

No. 308308

no, you just sound like someone who probably isn't attractive and hasn't had guys abruptly stop talking to you because they're afraid of you.

of course you have desperate guys who hump your leg and are very obvious, but taking initiative scares the shit out of a lot of male nerds and plenty of them already have self-esteem issues. if you go to any place where this is discussed, both genders have this problem

stay bitter though i guess?

No. 308309

i'm that anon. i'm honestly shocked i'm getting accused of being a fucking robot just because i said i was in some weird middle-ground of being too good-looking for shutin nerds to want to approach, yet too much of a nerd for attractive people who like, have hobbies and do interesting things with their life.

it's like how skinny people are never allowed to complain about issues they have because oh no they must have it perfect since they're skinny.

No. 308310

didn't see this one since i was smh at the replies but thanks, it is some consolation. im gonna stop spamming now

No. 308349

>it's like how skinny people are never allowed to complain about issues they have because oh no they must have it perfect since they're skinny.

Do the skinny posters also top their vents off with comments like "Wish I were an obese girl sometimes"?
Because I can see why that would solicit the same eye rolling reaction.

It's not what you said, it's how you said it and the assumptions you inserted right along in it ie. Ugly girls can't ever have complicated dating problems.
You're making me feel less and less bad for you by how much you're trying to be the victim.

No. 308399

why are you even this mad over people thinking you might be a robot? you sound more socially retarded with every post you make.
and yes, it's weird to say "wish i was just some ugly girl with no standards". you're bragging/complaining about being the 'hot girl' nerds are too afraid of talking to, so you wish you could just be settled for like ugly girls are by these intimidated nerds, who actually desire hot girls like yourself? how is that an enviable position to be in? it doesn't make sense and is weirdly self-aggrandizing.

>no, you just sound like someone who probably isn't attractive and hasn't had guys abruptly stop talking to you because they're afraid of you.
so you're denying that most nerdy males are very entitled and are just instead insisting that women who find that most nerdy males are entitled, are unattractive? you do realize that tons of anons here, even if that were the case, have had many nerdy male friends and observed their entitlement toward women they're interested in?

>of course you have desperate guys who hump your leg and are very obvious, but taking initiative scares the shit out of a lot of male nerds and plenty of them already have self-esteem issues. if you go to any place where this is discussed, both genders have this problem

again, there really are not enough to make these men in these subcultures to make them the face of 'nerdy guys' though. most of them are really, really entitled. most of them really don't even have self-esteem issues, they have huge egos and they generally think they're underappreciated. idk where you're meeting nerdy men where they aren't entitled.

No. 308400

Why can't she just ask them out herself? Like…there is your solution. Right in front of you.

No. 308444

>It's not what you said, it's how uou said it

This. Like I said before, "pretty nerd" anon's problem is a common one that's okay to vent about. What's not okay is how they concluded their vent by downplaying other peoples' problems.

The "weh ugly girls are so lucky" crap is what made you look like an asshat. Numerous human behavior studies indicate that conventionally attractive individuals possess a number of advantages over everyone else (more likely to get promoted, more likely to get raises, more likely to get hired, etc).

No. 308450

I don't think it's about whether or not a guy is geeky- I think at least 60% of men overall can be entitled. We just notice it more with nerdy guys because they don't have as much social tact and will air the dirty laundry out in the open.

Also, you could argue that a lot of nerd girls are creepy and entitled, too, just in different ways. Fujoshi and Kpop fangirls are prime examples of that.

Basically, most human beings are assholes in some capacity, and men are slightly more likely to be the entitled variety of assholes than women are.

I don't get why everyone is so obsessed with romantic relationships. They're a lot of time and energy for something that statistically is going to end horribly anyway.

No. 308580

My grandma died last night. She had been going downhill very quickly and pretty much drugged out since I went back to school. I was planning to see her one last time over break (going back tonight).
The whole thing just feels so weird because she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer five years ago, and so it was like then we all of a sudden had to come to terms with her mortality. But then she was on chemo for 3 years and that seemed to be slowing the growth, so "Babci (polish for grandma) has lung cancer" became the new normal. Then she went off chemo almost two years ago, so again we had to prepare for her death. but she was doing pretty well for 18+ months, so "Babci has terminal lung cancer which she has decided to stop treatment on" became the new normal. So even though her degeneration and death shouldn't come as a shock, it sort of does.
Also I found out because an old guy from our church meant to text my mom condolences but texted me instead by accident.

No. 308584

Well yeah but i never get any positive attention from guys either. I feel like I always have to make the first move because i am so weird.

No. 308611

I’m extremely stressed out and my anxiety is at an all time high
I think it’s starting to settle in me that I’m going to have to stay in this shitty state for another year
I cannot live in this house anymore, too many memories and it just hurts to be in it
Sure the idea of living rent free is great but the weight of being there is worse
Yet if I get an apartment I’m locked for another year

No. 308617

I just started attending this one webdev bootcamp and I feel super overwelmed, not by the exercises, but about doing projects and trying to think in a room full of noise and people. I've suspected for a while now that I might have aspergers but never felt justified into looking for a diagnosis, but the damn sensory overload is seriously making me consider it because fuck, if I feel it so much in a controlled environment I have no idea how I'd survive an actual irl job. Maybe if I get a paper saying I have a fucked brain I can actually sustain employment, unlike before, with people that understand I need more unwinding and help with reading social clues.

No. 308623

I'm so envious of people that had the opportunity to live rent-free.
Just for the record, I'm not angry at those that do, but I saw a post that mentioned it and realized that ever since I reached 18, I had to pay rent, utilities and food, plus care for my siblings. Prior to that, all the money that my cousins, grandparents etc. sent to me was confiscated by my father.
I live in the poorer part of europe, and here paying for rent in your parents home is not common, and almost everything I earned was spent on bills because the pay here is peanuts.

I just wish I had more time for myself and more time for self-improvement.
People can talk about situations like that making you a better stronger character but I don't think it does and neither does it matter. I just don't understand parents that make it more difficult for their children if it's obvious that the situation isn't stellar and it's outside of their control, i.e. job market.

p.s. fuck you dad, you have no idea how to the world works anymore you entitled piece of shit. You constantly talk how you are a self made men but I know for a fact that the only reason you have anything is thanks to my mom's side of family. You saw me struggling, juggling work and uni, barely getting 4 hours of sleep per day, taking care of kids which was YOUR job, and you didn't give a shit. Well, now I hope you're happy with all your saved money because I will piss on your grave. All of your kids hate you, you have no friends, you have no heart. You'll die alone and I hope that money was worth it, you cheap bastard.

No. 308628

>Be a gay TERF jfash&cosplay enthusiast
>Hang out in lolcow and my own friend groups, get used to everyone not being a massive retard obsessed with wokeness and identity politics
>Go to /cgl/ for the first time in a while
>All these fucking fetishist agp TiMs and "gay" internalized misogyny ridden transmen and "pansexual enbies" proudly declaring their identities with absolutely no shame or irony
never stepping outside of LC ever again

No. 308633

I'm sorry this is going to sound extremely retarded because we're on an imageboard but what is /cgl/?

No. 308637

4chan's cosplay board

No. 308638

File: 1539358262839.png (29.83 KB, 553x297, tumblr_p2l4lkBQNu1wiqmr1o1_640…)

My friend just reblogged pic related. It's captioned with "Not a single lie found…" and has over 15.000 notes. Why are people like this? How the fuck am I as a white person not supposed to take offense to that?

No. 308641

Today someone un-ironically told my mum to "check her privilege" in those exact words.

No. 308642

holy shit anon i feeeeel.

i went there a few weeks ago to see if some pics of me were up after a con. the first thread was some tranny bitching about how crossplay/brolita is offensive. like people doing it. and a bunch of other trannies circle jerking about it.


No. 308649

it's a joke, anon. it's trying to turn conservative thought on its head. 'blacks are just lazy/failures for being poor', well, then this justification is that poor whites are way more lazy/actually lazy. i doubt he actually thinks poor whites are lazy/a failure.

No. 308650

File: 1539359732684.jpeg (Spoiler Image, 28.01 KB, 616x498, 0F4720BE-7F69-4D99-B9E8-F7184C…)

When I was 18 and very fucked up, I met a guy who was 36 and we dated for 3 years. He was really into BDSM and age play but I rationalised a whole lot of shit - like that he’d seen child porn before, that he’d had sex with a 13 year old when he was 21, shit like him defending people on To Catch A Predator, to things like losing sexual attraction to me when I wanted to grow back pubes, having sex with me when I wasn’t im a right mind (straight after I self harmed), dragging me outside in the middle of the night and putting cold water on me because hurrrr BDSM and some extremely ugly shit anyone could tell I was lying through my teeth that I was actually into and was just doing it because I hated myself. This motherfucker put a knife to my neck on our first “date”. Anyway; I have been no contact for a year and I’ve made massive life changes and could not even fathom being that sad girl again but I got back in contact because I was very lonely and he’s always been a good listener lol.

He offloaded on me that he met an older woman and arranged a consensual non consensual rape scene in a park at night, where she was walking and he assaulted her. Apparently it went badly and she started crying and he did too etc etc and now he feels terrible about it. I used to sympathise with his victimised monster narrative but it shocks me that he told me a very similar story when we first met 4 years ago and how he’d never forgive himself for doing that. And now he’s done it again.
Something stupid in me thought because he regretted things he would never do them again but he clearly will and does.

There’s a lot more and I’m still in therapy haha; however I always wonder about outing him - he lives with his family who live in denial about his clear (to me) BPD and he has a circle of fucked up lefty friends that would be absolutely disgusted if they knew the things he’s done. Or even the police who have an ardorous and stressful process and may not even be able to charge after revisiting all my trauma. Fun. I also had my Dad break down and him saying to me that he failed as a father for not saving me from him.

I’m so frustrated about this sick fuck.
Side note, I have a great group of friends and a stable GPA now. It’s shit dragging all this around though. I plan to never contact him again.

No. 308660

nta but there's a lot of those "woke" types who unironically believe this kind of thing. and even some who will take it at face value.

poe's law at work.

No. 308661

Yeah, I'm sure that the average twitter/tumblr user only thinks of this as a joke… /s

No. 308676

I'm glad you got out of that situation and you're in a better place now anon. I'm so sorry that you went through that. Lefty circles are breeding grounds for abuse. The most extreme don't even believe in prison sentences for rapists but "reformative justice".

No. 308677

Idk why people are giving you shit for this post unless theyre jealous and ugly. I'm dealing with the same thing. The thing is, I can't even talk to attractive guys because I know they will see in the end that i'm a weirdo and trash. I definitely dont think i deserve some 10/10 but i at least want some ugly-cute guy instead of just straight up ugly geeks.

No. 308715

Me either. Kinda explains my situation, too.

No. 308724

my cousin who I was best friends with growing up has turned into an autistic faggot who non stop spergs about jews and how they'e the worst race and how much he hates them and wants them to die. Tells my brother people think he's joking when he says, these things but he's being serious. My brother, a normal well adjusted "chad" if you will, who didn't grow up on the internet eggs him on for lols cos its funny to hear him sperg and relay the funny shit he says to me when he comes home. He once told my uncle to fuck off because he simply said hello to him and my aunty screeched "HE HAS ASSBURGERS HE CAN'T HELPP ITTTT" when he has never ever been diagnosed with anything of the sort and she nor any doctor ever mentioned the possibility of him having Aspergers as a child. Seems like an excuse to be a fucking cunt. I've been sad for awhile over my family cutting off contact with my aunty for unrelated reasons but now I'm kinda happy because that whole family is a bunch of lolcows. The image of my 20yr old vegetarian soyboy, borderline anorexic, actual virgin beta male cousin who can't even grow a beard reeeeeing over wanting to murder and genocide jews in his room from an upper middle class suburb is hilarious.

No. 308727

Anon, you can help the other anon without pushing your personal agenda. Any fuck circles are prone to be abusive if you are unlucky. Also a lot of conservatives are into cuckold and BDSM when none is looking.

No. 308730

Thats true. Sorry, I wasn't trying to push an agenda. I'm on the left, myself.

No. 308733

men who seriously REEEEEEEE over jews are utterly hilarious because they’re often the faggiest male specimens

No. 308751

I have been grinding my teeth forever and I found out recently I cannot wear a mouth guard without gagging horribly. This was after spending nearly a thousand getting my teeth prepared for one. I worry that my TMJ may get fucked up and that my teeth are going to wear down after years more of this shit. My jaws and teeth have always had problems ever since I was a child and it’s just been shit to deal with.

No. 308754

Can confirm. He's a fucking faggot. He's a complete social failure. I get so much second hand embarrassment. Always been miserable cunt. Never smiled as a child. Ever. Told his sister he'd break her arm, shit like that. The only friend he ever had growing up apart from me before he found his kinfolk in high school (other miserable ugly incel tier faggots whom we all ignored) was a Nigerian boy ironically, I assume he also thinks black immigrants oppress him. kek. Sucks to be him.

No. 308770

He has a point though lmao
You're a white female in a 1st world country. You DID get a head start. But it is also entirely possible to blow it because of circumstances that are out of your hand.

No. 308773

File: 1539369602501.gif (918.45 KB, 500x375, 1526002713923.gif)

Is it wrong that I feel insecure over dating bisexual men?
It's not that I hate the idea of gay men in general, but it feels weird to me when I'm with a guy in a straight relationship and I imagine someone having had a dick up his ass or a cock in his mouth. Also it's a simple fact that gay anal sex carries a high risk for STDs.
I fear for my feelings because I feel like a dude being bi doubles his likelihood of being a cheater on the basis that he'd take whatever is tempted regardless of sex.

My last ex of 4 years came out as being bisexual, which I always figured because it seemed like he wasn't very romantic nor sexual to me before I broke it off. I was always the one taking the lead in the relationship (the real job, the car, the responsibilities) while he acted 50s "womanly" in many ways. In mentality only, not that he actually did housework or cooked ever. He wanted to pretend like he was the man while simultaneously acting like a needy helpless bitch who took me for granted, which is why he got dumped.

Fast forward: I've been seeing this new guy for two weeks who I admit is awesome in bed. He wants us to be going steady. Yet my gaydar is going off. He has pretty effeminate mannerisms, and has already admitted he has to fend off advances from his gay roommates/friends and was raped once.
Today we were talking about our sexual fetishes, and he mentioned how he likes giving anal/giving rimjobs/having his ass played with. Not too weird, I guess, until he mentioned how he wants to see me get fucked by one of his male friends but at the same time he might hate them later because of jealousy? He said he'd like to see a girlfriend fuck me too??? What?

You know I don't think of myself as a particularly masculine woman so idk why I'm attracting bisexual males. Is it just the vibe I give off? Like do I seem like the type of person who's open and not judge-y in that way? I just want a dominant, masculine male who rejects other men's penises and mouths.

No. 308775

I keep saying majority of men are gay or bisexual. More than women are.

No. 308777

It seems like you're not only attracting bisexual men but sexual deviants too. Do you dress alternative or according to some subculture? Do you hang out around online chats that are a bit on the obscure side? Do you have interests in common with these guys that might be on the nerdy side or the weird/unique side?

No. 308782

nah. bisexual men are shit.

No. 308789

They’re just in denial and won’t ever admit it. My ex would ERP with degenerate faggots and scope out their dick pics behind my back. I later found out he had a history of flirting with men online before he met me and was secretly into the idea of a MMF threesome. Yet he would never admit to being bisexual even when I confronted him with the shit I found.

Anyways, I wouldn’t be surprised if these types of men made up a bigger portion of the male sexuality spectrum than most people believe. If there’s any type of man worse than a bisexual to date, it’s a closested bisexual.