File: 1537500888253.png (428.62 KB, 540x538, 44254647.png)
Last thread: >>283640
Let it all out.
i have and it took me years, like 10 years, to find someone kind and empathetic enough to stick with me despite all the bs i put him through.>>298433
i'm sorry you and OP had to go through that, i've been there, and only recently has someone come along that will push through it.
Do you mean that he’s called off the engagement and left you purely because of shit that happened 4 years ago? Because if so you’re not at fault here. He chose to pursue you knowing this shit, chose to stay with you for 4 years and chose to propose. Unless you’ve done something wrong since then, or you’ve kept secrets that have only just come to light, you’re not to blame. Unless I’m misunderstanding something it sounds like he’s got cold feet and is too stubborn to admit he’s the one with the problem, so now he’s bringing up irrelevant shit as if you’re to blame. Don’t let him make you feel bad if you’ve done nothing wrong
I’ve been through relationship abuse and it’s fucked up my subsequent relationships. My first serious boyfriend was kind of atypically abusive, like he’d constantly play with my feelings, break up with me only to come back, be controlling about what I ate and drank under the guise of being concerned about my health. He never shouted at me, insulted me or hit me so I didn’t realise it was abuse until long after the relationship ended. I became emotionally needy because he’d made me feel guilty if my life didn’t revolve around him, so when I met another guy I was intense. At first I was kind of chill as I was rebounding and acting like I didn’t give a fuck about relationships, but soon I became obsessed with this new guy and it didn’t help that he was a needy person too and acted the same way/encouraged me. After the honeymoon period ended this new guy started lashing out at me. After a while I started working on myself, trying to be less dependent so he’d stop but even when I got my behaviour under control it seemed like the damage had been done and he started outright abusing me. After months of me keeping myself in check he’d still finish work and call me to shout at me and tell me I was a cunt and a waste of life. This would often go on for hours with me crying, apologising and begging him to stop. If I refused to engage the argument would just continue the next day alongside a rant about how worried he’d been about me and how I was manipulative for putting the phone down. This would happen at least once or twice a week, at points it’d be almost every day.
It’s hard because I don’t know if it’s my fucked up brain making excuses for him or if this never would have happened if I’d not started the relationship with so much baggage. Aside from the abuse, we connected really well and initially we got on great. I guess if I hadn’t been fucked up I would have left if/when he’d turned nasty so it wouldn’t have happened anyway
But yeah anon, if he’s not letting go of something he should be over at this point that’s on him and not you. Don’t let yourself be blamed when you’ve done so well to recover
File: 1537516671863.jpg (98.03 KB, 960x698, heart that's meant for you.jpg)
thank you, anon. that really helps. thankfully it was only a casual relationship, but i hope he did it nicely, or at least tried to help you through it? if you 'acted like a whore' but it was purely out of self-sabotage or bad coping mechanisms, a good person would've given you another chance, or at least tried to help you through and drop these habits. i'm sorry, anon. i wish i could give you a hug.>>298437
same to you, anon. thank you so much for the encouraging words. i'm very happy to hear you have someone in your life that understands and is willing to stick around. it's an especially uncommon trait in men, ugh.>>298443
anon, that is so horrible. it's him. nothing you've done could warrant that behavior. nothing. i hate men. anyone you meet in future needs to be understanding of these relationships and be willing to work through them with you. sending many hugs to you and the anons above!
yes, i acted out 4 years ago. it was at the beginning of our relationship when i really didn't take him seriously, but my bad behavior lasted quite a while, though i never cheated or anything like that. i just wasn't able to be myself and acted like an unstable, untrustworthy asshole out of fear of abandonment and fear of being abused, especially because he had been my friend for years, and i always wanted him but felt i never could have him because of my issues.
he tried to leave me when i was still acting out and i tried my best to stop and i got help and he decided to stay and i am doing so well and have done so well for the past 3+ years, but he has never been the same and he has always seemed kind of traumatized by it. he is very sensitive and i get that, but at the same time, he's not particularly sensitive about how lifelong abuse and rape has affected me. it's very unfortunate because i wasn't myself and he didn't get to know me in a romantic context, but now that's his first impression of me, and i've ruined everything.
even though he stayed, he has always seemed still scared of me and resentful of me. i get it, but he has also always never seemed to care much for my safety or care about me much as a person, or treated my abuse like it was real, and i think that definitely affected the way i treated him and how seriously i took our relationship in those first months. recently he had been really pushing how wonderful everything is, and everything was so perfect, but out of nowhere (for me, i guess not for him), he realized he can't trust me/be with me. i dunno, i just feel like, if i found a damaged boy that i knew for as long as and as well as he knows me, i would give anything and go to the ends of the earth to be by his side. it just sucks. it really pisses me off because he worked for like, 3 years before we dated, non stop, to try to convince me that he'd always be there for me no matter what and nothing could make him leave, etc.>>298445
i don't think so, anon. for most men, i'd agree, but he called me evil multiple times for what i'd done at the beginning of our relationship and i think i've just ruined my image of myself in his head and he's just super autismal.
thank you, anon. i'm much, much, much improved, i just wish he was able to see that. all of that just for having slept with HIM too quickly? anon, that's not even a real problem. like, if he's not understanding of that, he's real trash, tbqh. maybe it wasn't ideal for him, but to switch himself off to you and end the relationship over it, wtf?
I'm sorry anon. imo you absolutely CAN blame him for that, I think it's a very adult point of view not to, although I think you might be viewing it that way because of poor self-worth. Don't put yourself down, there will be a guy who loves you
and most/if not all the things that make you think you're "not good enough" would be nonsense to him. I will say though that I think strong relationships are much more reliably made in real life, particularly with people who start as friends. Online relationships are often relationships of circumstance where if one of those circumstances changes (new people becoming romantically available, all sorts of things really) everything can easily go to shit since "you're lonely, like that game too, and are acceptably attractive? Let's be in a relationship" and other similar logic makes for a mediocre foundation. And you never really know each other, your view of them is only built on whatever they've opted to show you. The response to that of course is "I actually do though, we talked for X months/years, bla bla bla", but it's the truth and everone who gets burned realizes it over time which helps soothe a lot of the hurt. I just felt like typing what I typed and I hope I didn't bum you out with my bullshit, I'm an introverted loser and online relationships are the only thing open to me if I'm being honest, and tbh even though I know better I might even end up in one at some point because noone likes to feel alone. If you can't tell I had a bad experience and am projecting horribly, I liked my post a lot more when I started working on it an hour ago and it was just me telling you not to cry and that I hope you feel better soon
I recently found out my dad had a secret child with this mentally ill woman who lived in our house during my parents break up. It looks exactly like my dad. It's fucked up cos he was such a good dad to me and my siblings. My mum was always too sick to cook or clean so he did everything plus work 40+ hours a week but he ignores this child.
I thought my Dad was different but he's just like the rest. Very depressing.
I want to start an IG, if only to give my depressed, unmotivated self a reason to go out, take/edit photos as a creative outlet, and keep a sort of personal reference for my style.
The only thing is that I don't know what aesthetic to go for. I'm extremely eclectic. I could just not care and post whatever I want, but building a following will be harder without a clear direction (and having followers would be pretty encouraging), especially since I'm too private to try and hook people in by sharing my life and building an overarching persona. I'm scared that if I only pick one style, I'll have trouble committing because I'm too eclectic with color choice, fashion, editing style, etc.
i just started my dream job and it's my first week. i'm making loads of stupid mistakes and letting everyone down and i'm really scared this is going to sour my relationships there as i know i'm coming off incompetent and stupid but i just can't seem to stop making stupid mistakes.
for example i missed a really important time-sensitive email this morning because it went into my junk folder (stupid fucking gmail) and i've only just gotten around to responding. i apologised and everything but it's not good enough.
i'm getting nightmares over this shit, i kept waking up last night in a cold sweat after dreaming i'd been fired.
i don't know what to do i'm crying all the time and i'm really scared. but i can't say anything to my mentor in case it makes me look even less competent. i never say the right thing and i always do embarrassing shit at work too. i hate myself.
i really hate this attitude. i've been in both and the more intimate and meaningful relationships i've had, by far, have been ldrs.
most people in irl are assumed to have more intimate 'real' relationships when they don't necessarily.
>>298636>it's a false intimacy though, and it comes from there not being any real repercussions to online confessions
i get that ldrs can be founded on less shaky ground because there's more of an incentive to be untrustworthy and obviously easier to hide shit and disappear, but that doesn't mean that all of them are like that or that it's inherent to all ldrs. it just means that's a major risk. people can ghost or lie and often do in irl relationships all of the time.
>have you been in a relationship where you lived with your partner, to compare?
i have. i don't know how that's so much more intimate than being with someone for most of your free time online or whatever when you're unable to be together. what's the difference? you can't sniff their farts through nightly or all day videocall?
Nta but being an adult with a career makes me question even more why someone would want to keep an LDR status on a meaningful relationship for more than a year.
Another scenario is maybe a husband and wife had to go LDR for temporary career purposes.
Other than that, why? An adult with a career ought to know whether they want to get serious within a pretty reasonable time frame. Not 3 years apart.
Well that's what I meant, adults with careers can be in LDRs for a short period of time, cause they can easily get a job and move to stop it from being LDR. You shouldn't be in an online relationship for more than a few months. Obviously moving in together doesn't need to happen, but you can make a decision to move your career nearer to them.
Most people in LDRs end up just moving with no job or plan or anything and being screwed.
File: 1537583833864.jpg (18.01 KB, 428x469, 1532459253979.jpg)
It sucks how hard it is to maintain friendships or make new ones once you leave college. I pretty much spend my weekends doing nothing. The few friends still remaining (who haven't moved away) are so difficult to corral into actually doing anything.
Has anyone here had luck creating an entirely new social group?
I no longer see anyone I met in college, but I'm still hanging out with friends from Jr High and high school. I think spending all those formative years together creates a stronger bond.
It's hard for me to make friends at work because a lot of them are older and married with their own families. I'm in a bit of a limbo.
Semi-related, but does anyone else here not really have a "best friend"? I have people that I hang out with, but I wouldn't consider us to be emotionally close. Even with my high school friends I'm no longer like… venting to them or telling them secrets. Idk.
File: 1537590662668.png (24.64 KB, 228x239, 6DA636EA-8043-4C2E-A607-07270B…)
I think my antidepressant might have permanently ruined my eyesight.
Nothing to add except I'm in the same boat. It's a mix between "real" relationship and LDR, because of my work.
It's like 95% of the time everything is well and I've never met someone like him, truly. But there were a few times where he acted like a real douche, that I can count on one hand, but I keep replaying them whenever I'm in a downward spiral.
To be fair I try to re focus and realize it's me who keep bringing up past issues mentally and that I was probably harsh too sometimes, except my brain probably gives itself a pass and forget about those. And when I say he acted like a douche, it was never stuff like cheating, insults or physical abuse.
I probably have some undiagnosed anxiety issues and I can't wait to have enough to start therapy.
my friend is broke and asked me for help with rent (£200). I feel bad because I can afford it, but I want to spend it on myself.
tfw can't say no to anyone
how can one get into D&D
I really like the roleplaying and figure aspect but idk where to start
I happened to know my friends were into it and had a group and they added me to it. We play using Tabletop Simulator– It's really good for long distance games and/or bad schedules. It's fucking amazing when you get it all set up, 3D minis, maps, completely custom games depending on what you wanna add. There's a reddit and you can maybe find local groups, or groups who use TTS.
I had fun the first time we played, but the second time was less fun, third even less, and now on the fourth I'm so fucking bored I'm on lolcow while they argue OOC on shit.
I'd like to take my character from this campaign and move to one with people who know how to play and don't spend 2hrs of a session memeing.
if you do, you accept that you'll not get it back and you set a precedent.
it's easy. just say "i'm sorry, i'm hard up myself, what about your family?"
File: 1537626124586.gif (212.06 KB, 606x249, me.gif)
Novel tier vent, apologies. I need to get so much off my chest.
With the urging from my supervisor who's known about my relationship problems, I broke up with my bf of nearly 5 years a few days ago. She said she saw no joy in me anymore, and while I was good at my job I've changed; was stressed all the time, and gained a lot of weight. I probably wouldn't have done it had he not been inconsiderate and pissed me off after work. Then again, the exact problem is that he is so inconsiderate and ungrateful and that's why I'm angry and unhappy all the time. He just doesn't care, the only thing he cares about is his own comfort.
The other day I had a late and busy night at work. Two hours before my shift ended he texted me to let me know he was hanging out with a friend and asked me to come if I got out early. I didn't get out early, but after work I texted to ask if he was still there and he said 'two minutes out.' Ok? I thought it meant they went and got food or something and they were two minutes from getting back. It didn't say he was or wasn't there, and why even send such a cryptic message anyway? He's a bad communicator. I put my phone down and start driving. I get there and the lights are off at friend's house, so I look at my phone again and he texted me minutes after the first and said "at home." Wtf, so I asked him if he was at home or not. He made me drive out there for nothing.
I got home and as per usual there was a sink full of dirty dishes. The kitchen was gross, so basically there were tons of little things he could've done to make my life easier and make me a little happier. How fucking pathetic is it that I would've been happy if he would have came out, greeted me, and told me he did one teensy weensy chore? But no, that never happens. I have to ask or nag like a mom. I'm. so. fucking. tired. of having to ask, beg, and nag at another fucking adult to keep tidy their own dwellings and belongings. This conversation has been had so many times and evidently he never learnt shit from them. He was in the bedroom being idle and playing a game on his phone. Because why do any work if I'll be the fucktart cuckquean who does it?
So I started hate-washing the dishes. I was very upset and started to cry because once again I was the one doing all the domestic work that men take for granted while I work fucking full time to boot. This is "equality," "50/50," "fairness," "progressivism," I thought? I muttered under my breath that I hated him, but maybe in my hysterics I said it more loudly than I thought because at that point he came out. He tried to hug me (typical manipulation tactic, butter me up) but that stuff has long stopped working on me. It annoyed me, so I shouted at him for having not done shit. For hanging out with friends instead of coming home to help with anything.
I told him we were over then and there.
Then he had the balls to turn this around to make it about finances. It's the only card he's ever got to play.
Let me digress about finances for a few paragraphs:
See, he pays rent. So he treats our relationship like a tit for tat contract.
Because he pays rent and pays for things sometimes, he feels it means he shouldn't have to any domestic work. It's horse shit!
Theoretically I could give him money for rent but I'm trying to pay down my college loan and credit cards, the grocery bill is also pretty expensive because I cook nice things for us. I hate my job and get out when I can so sometimes my paycheck isn't ideal. I could give him rent money, it would just make my stress worse–not like he cares. Yet I would feel even more cucked when I'd have to do shit at home by myself. He's asking for me to pay him rent, work my 40, and come home to more domestic labor. Not a fair deal, sorry.
Besides rent and his own personal debts, I pay utilities, streaming services, etc. He doesn't drive, I have my car. Everything in the apartment including the televisions, bed, furniture, dishware/cookware, and even his fancy ps4 pro is all shit I bought and is mine. He has no possessions besides his piles of dirty clothes and a few games. No assets. Nothing of use.
He's salty and bitter about paying rent because he works shitty food service jobs and wonders why money sucks. He hates how I have paid vacation time off right now because I have a real job, but he even admits he's unwilling to do what I do. He refuses to get a real job (re: requiring to show up to work on the dot, working a full 8 hours, and be subject to rules and regulations). He bitches about his job but his job is easy, the pay is worth what he does imo–and what he does is nothing. Every day it's "Wah I got no customers!" which means he didn't really work then, hm? Folded some knives and forks maybe? Had 3 hours of nothing to do? Meanwhile I'm at my job working back to back, I never have a minute to breathe.
Also, he's bad with his money but blames me about the rent.
He defers his student loan all the time because he doesn't file income based repayment so the monthly is too high for him to meet. He has more student debt than I do (I have up to my master's) despite him not having a single degree. Not even an associates. He's irresponsible.
Since he doesn't have a car, he Ubers to work. He's too proud anymore to bike. So his Uber bill a month is usually $300-400. A few months back he whined about how Uber was increasing their charges, so he demanded I pay him money. I told him I would buy him a motorized scooter for $600 because it's bullshit that he's paying $400/month for Uber!! He didn't want the scooter because he's too proud to be seen on one. But it shut him up because he knew he had no right to bitch at me about money when he's giving Uber $400 per month.
About him not having a car: He lived with me and my parents rent-free for a year after I graduated and we moved to the area. The agreement was he had to save up for a car. Well, he didn't like living with my parents (because he was expected to do chores) so he lied to me and them about having money. He admitted later he didn't and I stupidly covered for him. In the two years that have passed, he's never saved for a car. He's 28 years old.
Told my dad if he comes at me about rent again he should charge the backed rent my ex didn't pay while he lived with us.
4-5 times a week he goes out with friends or to the bar for karaoke. So, if he's so strapped for cash, he shouldn't be doing that. But he does because he's selfish and wants to have fun.
You think I got out with my girlfriends? Fuck no. Never. Unless he invites me out with his friends, but sometimes that doesn't even work out clearly!
Sorry, so anyway, he brings up finances to imply I'm a fucking mooch who brings nothing to the table and shouldn't I be so grateful he pays rent? And how dare I be angry at him when he does dishes twice a month when I nag him to do it?
I hollered that he was a stupid cunt who's bad with money and I didn't wanna be with him anymore.
He told me to leave then.
I replied he was a moron because my name is on the lease and I can't just abandon the property without my name being off it. And oh, all the shit in the apartment is mine and there's no way I'm moving out without my own stuff.
He kept saying "I DON'T NEED THIS!" and would walk away. I called him a coward who didn't want to face the truth.
I started to sob uncontrollably after the standoff. He did nothing, had a dry face. He didn't even look all that upset, maybe just preoccupied with thinking about what he's gonna do now that I'm going to leave. He slept on the floor with his laptop while I cried all night.
Did I mention how I took him on a dream vacation internationally a couple weeks ago? The reason why I suffer through my job is because I get flight passes to anywhere in the world. I got us first class tickets on an international flight. He treated me awful during the trip btw, making a face whenever I wanted to do something that involved spending the money we saved up for that purpose. Only cared about himself and his good time the whole trip.
I feel like billing him the $6,000 it would have cost him to buy the plane ticket himself if he wants to lord rent over my head. He has no gratitude for what I did for us.
I'm at my parent's house for the weekend because I'm too disgusted to look at him. I cry and shake, I'm angry and distraught. I've wasted five years of my life with this self-centered person. I overlooked and forgave his behaviors because I'm kind and want to keep the peace. I projected and gave him chances because I'm the type to take criticism and change when I'm given fair chances. But not him. He just wants to do and take what he wants with no consequences.
I tried to update my social media status to single but sites like fb didn't publish it. So no one knows we've broken up and he's being hush online. He hasn't changed his status. Maybe he thinks all this will blow over me, but it's not going to.
Worst of all…is that because he's sociable and nice to his friends, they will stan for him and treat me like a mooch bitch because that's what he's going to tell them. They don't know the full story like what I've typed here. And hey, they'll say, why didnt ya just leave sooner? Although I'm sure if I dumped him sooner they would've said But why didnt ya give him a chance? Damned if I do or don't. Fuck it.
He's gonna get his rent money so long as I have to be his roommate. But he will get no more car rides from me. No more cooked meals. He wants to use my cookware? He can ask my permission and it will be washed after he uses it. The bed's mine, he can buy a cot or air mattress. He will no longer get my flight passes, which is funny because he wanted to go visit his home in a different state and now he will have to buy a plane ticket for a couple hundred dollars.
He can go fuck himself. What a sorry fucking ingrate and if only I hadn't felt so trapped and fallen for manipulation tactics I would have broken up sooner. I wonder where my life would be right now if I had a guy who valued me, had his own car, and had a real career? Someone who would've elevated me instead of dragging me down and verbally beating me about rent.
My girlfriends have wonderful boyfriends and spouses.
One of my girlfriends hasn't worked in a year due to an illness, and even before that she worked as a barista. Her fiance gives her a full ride and he never bitches.
A different friend currently isn't employed but her bf just bought them a new house, I'm going to go hang out with her and see the new place.
I attended a different friend's wedding last year, she was married after four years of dating and they have a new house together.
This pants shitting bastard would never have done that for me like those REAL men. Never. One of my sweet girlfriends even PM'd him the engagement rings I'd been looking at, kind of as a hint, and he never looked at it again. He wasn't going to commit to me, he just used me so he could live his bachelor lifestyle. I was just the onahole and maid. If I knew my life wasn't going to get better now that I'm leaving him, I'd kill myself right now.
…um, anyway. I'm probably all over the place because I'm so manic. I'll stop now. Sorry again.
File: 1537626575493.gif (494.67 KB, 500x275, f35nkEe.gif)
No, wait, I'm not done ranting yet. I've got more.
Another reason why I'm so stressed and why I hate him so bad?
A week before our international trip, our upstairs neighbors yanked out a fucking water pipe and severely flooded our apartment.
We live below these ignoramuses in a high-rent shithole because bf needs to be closer for his job, doesn't drive remember?
So anyway, he's been lax about the ordeal because he lives like a filthy bachelor and none of his stuff was destroyed. All the furniture that got damaged is mine.
I've been the one taking charge with the apartment office and getting shit done.
The one thing I can't get done? The insurance. The rental insurance is the only bill in his name believe it or not.
He didn't know how to fucking file so I've had to do this all via proxy. Now, since we've broken up, I'm fucking terrified he won't file and/or will pocket the reimbursement money since the insurance people will send him a check in his name.
I might be screwed in that regard, but oh well.
You can get the money from him for YOUR damaged property. Remember, you're the adult, not this fucker. You did the right thing. You're manic and pissed and upset but fuck that manchild. He will not change. I dated one. They are fucking useless and manipulative shitstains.
Does he even know how to do laundry? Cook? anything? Nope. He's gonna beg you to do it. don't fall for his bullshit anon. You sound like you've hit your limit and his immediate reaction to blame you for money issues is a clear sign he doesn't deserve a second chance.
God I hope so.
He does his own laundry because I told him I wasn't gonna do it for him like a year or so ago. He overloads it because he puts off doing it. His clothes never get clean, and when he finally gets the gumption to do it the clothes sit on the floor and in the laundry baskets for months. Christ, I told him to go through his clothes and throw out the ones he didn't want 6 months ago. The bag is still sitting in the bedroom! I put it by the front of the door 2 months ago, and the hoarder put it right back.
He can cook but he never cooks for me. Can't name the last time he's done so. But honestly? The stuff he cooks is so unthoughtful like hamburger helper that I'd rather just make something nice for myself. I work too hard to eat his slop.
He can't load a dishwasher, however. So if I know he's 'loaded' and ran it, I know those dishes aren't clean. Even when he washes dishes they're often greasy, and he misses spots because he rushes.
And this is a guy who works in the food industry! Can't wash a fucking dish. Makes you think.
Oi. Anyway anon sorry I'm throwing out all this stuff but I've kept it in for so long. Thanks for the kind words.
I know it feels horrible to waste 5 years on a shitstain like your ex, but think of it this way: you are free now. You don't need to suffer even MORE years with someone as him.
Now you can focus solely on yourself. Work towards what you need and what you'd like. When you focus your own energy on yourself (and people who deserve it), you will see how things will develop for the better.
Loneliness might hit you since you've been in a relationship for some time now, but don't let it take control and don't go back to the shitstain because you will just end up in the same cycle. Instead cry it out, or write all those bad emotions in a journal. That way, you will externalize those emotions and they will fade in a "healthy" way.
What I'd recommend you to do is move away from him. Rent is actually a small price to pay compared to having a burden of shitty ex bf on your back.
Also anon, believe in yourself. You seem like a responsible person and with having responsibility - you can do a lot. Never waste your energy on irresponsible people like your ex-bf, they will just drain you.
(I'm speaking this from my own experience)
Not sure, but two of my facebook friends got hacked by what seems to be someone from middle east. Their whole profile got rewritten into something that looks like ISIS recruit profile (every post is now militant themed and written in arabic alphabet, they didn't change my friends' names though so it looks like they suddenly went ISIS which is fucked up).
Just block them to be safe on the safe side I guess.
My boyfriend is starting to twig that we have a lot of issues and I'm not sure how to address them with him.
He's very generous. He listens to my problems, he always offers to pay for stuff I can't afford because he earns more than I do. But sexually, with the chores, and in terms of what we do together, he's so selfish. He only wants to do anything if he's suggested it and if it's something he's very interested in, there's little if any time for my interests but he'll spend hours talking about his. He never does any chores unless I suggest we do them together. In bed, all the foreplay is for him, and usually I come once or not at all even though I'm multiorgasmic. And he says he's kinky but our sex is so repetitive and bland unless it involves a blowjob, and then he always wants to be super kinky and fun and try something differently (blindfolding him, cumming on my face, holding my head down etc). The actual sex is just 5-10 minutes of him holding me down in missionary and pulling at my ass (which for some reason makes orgasming impossible for me) while I do most of the work, and it's generally a really uncomfortable position but he constantly pulls me into it. He very very very rarely wants to be on top and do anything for me, and he says he loves giving head but for every 10 blowjobs I maybe get eaten out once if I'm lucky.
His weight is also an issue. It wasn't to begin with. I thought he was working on it, and fair enough he's had a rough time, but it's repulsing me more and more lately.
I feel fucking terrible for feeling like this because he has financially supported me far more than he's had to, and I get along so well with his family. I feel like I "owe" it to him to let him be selfish sometimes, but I never ask for anything he offers to do for me, so I also feel kind of tricked into owing him sometimes.
We're also very different people and those differences have become more apparent since I've been staying at his more and more. We have some things in common but those things are starting to feel more and more trivial these days.
Sometimes he says things like "I feel selfish" and "I feel like I dont satisfy you anymore" but I feel like admitting he is will just hurt his ego more so I just avoid it.
god I regret going there so much just reading the description made me feel sick to my stomach
kill all furries
File: 1537636238943.png (Spoiler Image, 114.33 KB, 640x997, Screenshot_2018-09-22 TRIGGER …)
here's a summary. maybe now would be a good time to make a furfag general in /snow/
Well wew, I've read it now and I hope everybody who contributed to this should at least experience the same shit that was done to those animals and end up in fucking jail where they hopefully have to pick up the soap as much as possible. Wow, fuck that.
Is kiwifarms working on finding that people? Damn, I could never go into that because that is beyond fucked up.
There are multiple perps. The uncovered chatlogs show that there was a group of who knows how many people across multiple states and countries(theres even a particularly awful one from Austria) who were creating and exchanging those fucked up materials. So I’m worried it’s going to be hard to capture them all. It’s just like some fucking pedophile ring, but with animal abuse.
Kero, the one who’s named in the twitter screenshots, is the most famous of them all, having a large following on youtube. And guess what? Lots of them are defending him fiercely.
It’s just fucking disgusting, diseheartening and makes me want to cry, because there are lots more of vile creatures like that (or worse) out there, who are actually good at covering their asses, unlike those furry retards and may never be uncovered. Fuck this earth. Fuck it.
I have nothing much of value to say to you because I know you will know
how foolish you were, but how free you will be after you're done mourning 5 years of wasted life (& love) and how short that time is in the long run. 5 years is a long time to invest in someone, especially if you were hinting at marriage at some point. Maybe treat this like if a loved one died, and don't beat yourself up for being kind-hearted and optimistic.
I just wanted to say that I've also gotten a "x minutes out" text before, in the context that he was picking me up from someplace, so in the future I guess it's like an "ETA x minutes" type of deal. Still, he didn't clarify a destination so you're all good lmao.
SN: Loving the pattern of women waking up to their useless SO's these vent threads have taken on for a while.
Apparently it isn’t too uncommon for Wellbutrin to cause visual snow and other weird shit I’ve been experiencing. Some stuff I’ve read says it persists for years if it isn’t permanent, and some says it’s a temporary symptom of a higher dose. I’ve had good eyesight all my life and it’s given me pretty awful migraines the past few months so I’m freaking out a little at this point.
But yeah, I really shouldn’t complain when a lot people are born with bad eyesight haha. There are much worse side effects that I haven’t experienced and I’m grateful for that.
yeah, i feel justified in my hatred for furries after all these years. the internet has been very soft on them since the early 2010s i think. there’s something horribly fucking wrong when a prominent furry youtuber gets outed as a zoosadist and all you see is people wringing their hands over optics and saying #NOTALLFURRIES!!!!1!
for years furries have pretended their fetish community isn’t sexual uwu and the consequence of that is that is shelters unbelievably sick fucks like in the logs. disguising your community as nonsexual and letting kids in just to expose them to all kinds of vile internet porn should be some form of grooming imo. but that’s a different issue than fucking actual zoosadism.
fuck furries. i hope this is a reckoning for them.
File: 1537655277227.jpeg (35.33 KB, 400x288, 24FBEE81-9BAA-4094-89FC-F7B9FC…)
Do you know if it got any better when you stopped taking it?
He's doing bare minimum for a relationship. I think you should bring it up that you think he IS being selfish but you didn't want to hurt him by saying so.
If the sex is a bigger thing than the chores, ask him to not yank you down into missionary because it is uncomfortable/hurts and doesn't feel good.
If the chores is a bigger thing, ask him if you can spend 15 minutes together to tackle 1 room. You can take out the trash, he can sweep the floor, you can wipe down the counters and stove, he can do the dishes. Working in tandem as a set schedule.
File: 1537673738750.jpg (55.41 KB, 775x637, 07d.jpg)
>walking home, stop at 24 hr store
>as I'm checking out qt tall /fit/ asian guy is behind me
>does the cutest smirk at me when I turn around to leave then looks down when I notice
>catches me in the parking lot
>waves and grins at me
>I wave back
>now cry knowing I'll never see him again
File: 1537684659443.jpg (12.55 KB, 355x237, 81a4iVUprJL._SX355_.jpg)
Not really a vent as much as it is a question
me and the fam were cleaning out my parents house of The Horde, and I came across one of those plush nets most kids had. I asked my mom if this was supposed to be something for my cousin or something 20 years ago and she says "no it was supposed to be for you"
I never had one as a child but I still have a few plush that might look good in the net. Should I hang it up?
>tfw turning 30
I feel like I'm obliged to get into a relationship now because of how difficult it is to maintain friendships now.
tbh if Host bars/clubs were a thing in the West I'd definitely consider attending. I'm so tired or trying to get my friends organized enough to do anything, its like herding cats and I'm sick of it.
File: 1537687234199.jpg (18.32 KB, 354x308, 1484247436018.jpg)
I don't see my friends as much as I used to because of work or university, and they barely reply on social media or group chats now. I'm sure it's not just because we're all busy. I feel lonely these days. And nowadays I feel like I have no hobbies, like I used to play video games some months ago or watch anime but now I just don't feel like it anymore. I'm bored.
File: 1537692483178.jpg (187.58 KB, 729x972, 3034e7368d5eeedc1ce45c29069b1a…)
all us lonely farmers could be each other's friends ;_;
a meetup would go terribly I suppose
File: 1537698262642.jpg (34.38 KB, 1024x709, IMG_20180704_005609.jpg)
>>recently get new puppy after previous dog passed away
>>bf and I are crate training pup all the time
>>roommate likes the pup but is also rude to him at times
>>don't ask roomie to take care of pup at all(becuase it's not his dog nor do we expect him too)
>>one day after caging up the pup to go run errands we come home to find the pup just roaming the house freely, while roomie is hiding in his room
>>I'm pissed off for obvious reasons so we tell roomie pls don't let him out like that
>>roomie doesn't listen, this happens like 3 more times
>>unrelated but goingthru depression bout and sleep schedule is fucked so sleeping at odd times, notice roomie takes the pup out without asking but thank him anyways for doing so
>>bf and I go out to get some food for an hour an a half tops maybe, lock pup up before we leave
>>what do you fucking know
>>come home to pup roaming the house alone, roomie hiding in his room with gf watching movies
>>pup peed all over the rugs
>>enraged while cleaning, bf goes to chew roomie out asking him yet again do not let the dog out at all if he's in the cage, he's in there for a reason
>>roomies barks back having the audacity to try and lie saying the dog stays in there 7 hours a day while I ignoring him when sleeping
I don't understand how fucking it is to just listen to someone. This isn't your animal, you aren't the one cleaning up the piss stains or the plastic from trash because you decide to let my dog be unsupervised. I'm at my wits end but we have no one else to trust to rent off or else he would be gone by now.
Put a lock on the crate.
Your roomie doesn't understand that it's not good to leave a puppy unsupervised.
He sounds like the type that thinks crating is negligent, but ironically he doesn't even interact with the puppy not even a half hour after ~setting him free~
Your pup is going to learn some bad behaviors and neuroses if this continues, he's getting mixed messages about what's allowed.
File: 1537727411823.png (478.55 KB, 500x641, 828e944bbe26b8ca3e6130fee6fd72…)
idk if this is relevant to you but when i feel this way i just remind myself that studying past hs is more like work or a hobby than like pre-college school.
i figure the first decade of studying was mandatory by the law and subjects that i didn't choose to learn about, so it gave me a bad association with studying that i don't have with freely chosen tasks.
my further studying IS my choice and not mandatory, so thinking of it the same way I think of doing things for work or doing things because I want to hone a skill feels a lot less obnoxious.
like with elementary-high school, my first thought about studying was "ughh this is so pointless but i guess i better get around to it eventually so i don't get yelled at…but maybe i'll watch one more tv show first"
when i do stuff for work my first thought is "i'm gonna do this so i can get more money"
when i do stuff for a hobby my first thought is "i'm gonna do this because it's interesting to me and i want to hone a skill!"
studying as a choice used to feel like the first camp because that's the first association, so i just slowly but surely moved it to the other two categories, because those are more accurate anyway.
sorry if this sounds insane it's really just a simple change in attitude.
File: 1537728781307.jpg (13.23 KB, 400x301, tumblr_oz6cd8ECTi1wh72bco1_400…)
This post started in a very different way, but I had an epiphany while writing it and I decided to change it.
I think my boyfriend may not be as nice as I thought he was.
I should explain some things before I continue. A childhood of neglect, sexual abuse, and bullying left me with a pesky ED (atypical anorexia) and possibly BPD (although the BPD specialist I was sent to said I didn't have it and kept talking about PTSD instead). Some of my relevant symptoms include not feeling like I deserve to eat if someone eats my food without permission, intense brain fog, and pretty low self-esteem. I also subconsciously forget a lot of distressing things, so my childhood memories are incredibly sparse and I've blocked out most of the CSA.
When I started posting this, I just wanted to vent about how worried I am that I'm alienating my boyfriend. Lately it feels like I can't do anything right, and that he's starting to see me as an idiotic child. Yesterday he tried to explain how colours worked to me because he decided I was wrong for saying that #50556a is blue, since it's obviously grey. He started 'teaching' me about how in RGB an equal amount of all three makes grey, even though that wasn't relevant here since they're not equal. It ended with him taking a block of chocolate he'd acknowledged was mine about an hour prior and eating half of it, despite him knowing full well that this is my biggest ED trigger (since whenever he does it I ask him to please not do that). About an hour after this we started playing Trivial Pursuit, and I spaced on a pretty basic/obvious science question ("What part of the body has the thickest skin?" - I said the butt, like a FOOL). I said "I'm so dumb" (because it was really obvious in hindsight) and he said "don't do that" in a bad-dog-don't-pee-on-the-rug voice, even though he'd decided right before this that I wasn't capable of understanding colours.
I share a venting Discord with some close friends, and I wanted to find other examples of him treating me like I'm stupid (because this one is fairly mild), and looking through all my past posts is really upsetting. I've only gone back as far as February, but I don't remember most of these at all. I'm clearly very distressed in them, but I'm totally blanking. I barely remember him throwing a half-eaten cookie onto my desk, storming out, then coming back in to ask me why I "have to make [him] feel like shit" because I asked him why he was eating it right after acknowledging that it was mine. I have the faintest memory of him being incredibly patronising toward me after I suggested that little kids playing incredibly violent/gory games might not be good for their developing brains (it appears that he started putting a lot of words in my mouth and 'debating' an invented argument, even when I insisted that it was completely different to what I was saying), and I kinda remember him lying to me about a girl (about a week before we started dating they kissed a few times, he sent her drunk messages saying he loved her, and then we traveled to a different country to hang out with her; he told me about the kisses and messages at the time, but now he says it was one peck and nothing else).
I don't remember thinking things like
>i know i'm just being dumb and whiny but i don't like feeling like i only have value if i agree with someone at all times
before tonight, but a lot of the messages read like that one so I guess I just suppress it. We've only ever had two actual big fights (one where he was saying hurtful things because he was in a bad mental place, and one where I found out the blog he used daily that I linked my friends to as a "hey look it's my BF" had an archive filled with naked women and posts about how he desperately wanted to date his hairdresser because she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen; even though it makes me sound like a crazy person I was super embarrassed that he 1. had any of that on there in the first place and 2. didn't think it was worth deleting when he got into a serious relationship) so I hope I'm not just making mountains out of molehills, and that I actually just forgot these things because they were incredibly minor, but I seem super upset in those messages, and it makes me wonder what else I've blocked out/ignored in the past two years.
Maybe I am just incredibly stupid, and he's just being nice when he tells me I'm the most intelligent person he knows, since I can't figure out how he can think the most intelligent person he knows is somehow also the world's biggest dumbass. I left my country to live with him, and right now I'm completely financially dependent on him because of visa stuff (which isn't an issue, he wanted me here ASAP and says he's happy to pay for my food, therapy etc.) so I hope that this is simply a misunderstanding and he isn't just like every other guy I've dated. I love him more than anything, but I worry that he secretly hates me.
Sorry if this is incoherent, but it's 4am here and I've been on the verge of a panic attack for hours.
(Also I know the porn thing is probably an overreaction, but one of my exes turned out to be secretly running not only a porn blog but also an entire crossdressing porn xhamster account where he made men give him 'tributes', then dumped me when I found out and now posts my pictures/email on 'tribute' sites while telling people he wishes he could send them revenge porn of me, so I get really anxious about things that remind me of that)
File: 1537730728916.png (95.33 KB, 948x343, 505.png)
>>299254>he tried to explain how colours worked to me because he decided I was wrong for saying that #50556a is blue, since it's obviously grey
You should have tried to explain to him how men are more statistically likely to be colorblind~ It looks more navy than grey to me, I wouldn't look at this and say "ah yes, an obvious grey!" Why would he even split hairs about this?>and then we traveled to a different country to hang out with her
Scandal, anon. Shenanigans.>I know the porn thing is probably an overreaction
It's not, it's a valid concern.
He sounds a tad insecure about his own intelligence if he's picking these really petty arguments with you, anon. Nice boyfriends don't do this. A good boyfriend wouldn't make you feel like a dumbass or make you feel second best because he's worships these other rando women.
Consider finding a better option in men. Let him chase his perfect hairdresser or whomever lol.
hey anon, i noticed that your inner struggle right now seems to be about rectifying 2 possibilities
1)he's a total untrustworthy asshole and he thinks you're dumb and isn't nice and treats you like shit
2) he's actually nice and there's nothing wrong and you're just making it up because you're the one in the wrong
but there's a third option, and that's that while he's not the worst guy in the world and he's not trying to be malicious, he's not mature or empathetic enough to be in a relationship with you right now
so he makes mistakes that cause you unnecessary distress and hurt. your feelings are valid whether or not he's doing it on purpose. he doesn't need to be some kind of monster in order for you to be justified in feeling hurt or breaking up with him.
i have a similar problem where when i have really intense emotions, i need to find some big undeniable justification for them, otherwise they're pointless and stupid. this is bad because if someone just makes an honest mistake, you can twist it that they're really a lot worse than they meant, and on the flip side, if someone really is abusing you, you can brush it off because it's not quite bad enough for you to feel justified.
you need to learn to accept your emotions as they are. you don't deserve to be in a relationship we're you're constantly upset by it, even if your bf made an honest mistake.
also i'm not trying to say that your bf ISN'T abusive or malicious, I just don't have enough information to tell one way or another, and your perception seems very emotionally biased and keeps fluctuating from one extreme to the other, like it's either that he's the bad one or you're the bad one, so i just want to point out that neither of you necessarily has to be the bad one, it can just be bad timing and a bad match in emotional compatibility
also you're right, it's a grayish blue. what would even be the point of naming or labeling specific colors if you're just going to shove all shades into like 10 boxes
He's not like that, I've known him since I was a child (hes my age its not a pedo thing lol). I think it's just that I already have mental illness so everything seems and feels 10x worse>>298617
Another issue is that we're not. Everything being said over text makes me able to recall in exactness what he's said at his worst, and what I've said at mine. We fix things by the time we go to bed, make sure we go easy on eachother the next day. It doesn't happen often at all.
We've been through a lot together, we've seen eachothers worst. I think his issue is just that he hasn't been in a relationship with anyone besides me before, and doesn't know the limits of what you should and shouldn't say to someone you're that close to. He doesn't swear at me anymore when he's upset with me, so I know he's taking note of things. I just have a weird time letting go of things. Like I said I don't hold it against him I just look back at it to upset myself because yes, >>298646
, I'm unstable.
How would you all define intimacy if it's something that can't be replicated over text? In words? Like >>298642
said. The difference being that you can find even more little petty things to be annoyed with them for?
You all seem to think that irl relationships cannot be stupidly idealized or that it's not equally as easy to lie to someone, as if people don't cheat while living in the same household or argue with someone they love.
We talk about good things and bad things, probably more than most people would talk with someone they lived with most days. And plenty of IRL relationships don't work out the best, if they did we'd all be with the first person we thought we were in love with for the rest of our natural lives. Not really a reason to go "Hurdur they never work"
Yeah there's a difference in LDR and IRL relationships, but we've talked about it and are well aware we'll likely have issues to start specifically because we don't know how our behaviors are going to wind up intermingling. We're not that stupid, just introverted.
That being said if things go sour I'll be back to let you know you were right so you can add another tally to your "FAILED LDR" vs "SUCCESSFUL LDR" board.
File: 1537732605860.jpg (79.94 KB, 800x450, cdc.jpg)
I fucking hate shitty drivers and of course I live in an area notorious for asshole drivers. I almost crashed head-on with one of my shithead neighbors because he was going full speed around a blind corner on our tiny private residential road. I'm so sick of people acting like reckless dumbasses when they're controlling a 2,000+ pound metal death machine. And don't even get me started on people who text and drive…
I told him never to contact me again>>299368
We slept together a year and a half ago and we both agreed it was a bad idea. When he asked me if I needed a place to stay, I was very clear that I was struggling to deal with past sexual trauma and just needed a friend. Either way, you're right that it doesn't matter since I was sleeping.
>>299430>he felt like I was the one being cold
And he was so confused by this front so that rather than being forward with you at the time about this, he decides to fuck the runner-up?
I think you're being gaslit there, anon.
>have sex with him before you ask the relationship question
Oh, that's a real ouchie there anon. I hate to say this but that's on you. He's not gonna be in a relationship with you because it's obvious he doesn't take you seriously. You're just another girl to him.
I'm sorry this happened to you but it has nothing to do with your weight, it's a guy targeting you because he knows you're lonely and trying to cope in desperate ways (no offense).
File: 1537761994570.png (319.96 KB, 540x388, 94892.png)
That fucking shit about the furries who rape/mutilate dogs, puppies and deer is haunting me.
When I see pictures of cute little puppies, I just start to feel sick and sad. It's not as bad with dogs, as I'd like to think they can mostly defend themselves by biting (despite what I saw in one of the videos).
With puppies, I think about the fact that some piece of shit looks at the same images, feels sexual attraction, and wants to cause them extreme pain. That they see these creatures and probably message each other shit like "wags tail I would definitely rape that one~ :3" and mean it to their cores. That if the poor things fell into the hands of someone like that (and it's painfully easy for that to happen - some fuckers in the logs talked about raping and killing a puppy they got off Craigslist and called it a "rent-a-pup"), they can't run away easily, or even tell anyone.
And then I start to get paranoid and wonder about the puppies' fate, if they have an owner like that, if they could've been "adopted" to some sick fuck by an unknowing owner, etc. I know it's dumb and the puppies in the pictures are probably alright, but fuck. I didn't even see the absolute worst of the archives or finish the logs, but I regret learning about all this. I've seen a ton of human gore and shit without being affected, but I'm still sensitive about anything involving animals or babies. Baby animals, especially, are the most vulnerable, defenseless creatures. They can't even talk about what happens to them. Fuck.
I think, if I ever have a ton of puppies or kittens I can't adopt out to friends, family or strangers I can do thorough checks on (no fucking furries), I would rather drown or euthanize them than give them to complete strangers. Who even knows what could happen.
In my early 20's and I'm the same. I fucking hate that everywhere I look there's ass, tits, porn, sex sex sex. I'm not one of those ~uwu forever innocent virgin~ people, I just don't want to be bombarded with sex 24/7. At least in the server I'm in, I have admin and can shut that shit THE fuck down.
had a girl join our server and jump on our NSFW channel expecting it to be full of porn. Jokes on her, it was war footage, things that in general you might find sketchy to look at when you're at work. You know, what NSFW actually should be used for rather than a porn dump. She instantly started crying for porn bcs "imma leshbeeuhn giv bob & vagine" and complaining about the lack of it so I had to slam her down to the floor.
had a bot that had a porn command that none of us used, it started getting spammed for loli hentai, immediately shut them down and kicked the bot.
File: 1537772572827.png (280.76 KB, 459x347, InformationStuporHighway14.png)
I love my parents, but at the same time I feel very bitter towards them, which sucks because I was hoping that once I became older I would let go of it. My parents are honest to god good people who I know for a fact love me, but their overprotectiveness, unwillingness to let me try new things and have any social interaction stunted my growth as person and now I feel like I've lost so many years of my life trying to catch up to others, and I still haven't. I remember my childhood and teenage years and how they basically kept me locked in my room like a hamster and then couldn't understand why I didn't function like a normal girl my age and I feel so mad. But at the same time, can I be mad? I had a house. I had food. They never hit me. They just raised me like a pet instead of their child. But they loved me.
I’ve tried so hard to become my best version. I enrolled myself in conversation circles, tried learning how to drive, tried pushing myself out of my comfort zone, tried to stop being a people pleaser, but I'm either a failure or I just feel so fake. Everything I've become feels fake. But then who am I? Do I even have a personality? I still can’t open myself to anyone, I still fear rejection more than anything. I still see myself as this immature, scared, incapable of doing anything right piece of garbage and I can’t help but feel it’s partially my parents fault for raising me like that. But what if it wasn’t their fault? What if it’s all me? I feel so conflicted
>>299492>had a roof over my head and food
That has nothing to do with any abuse you may have been through. And those things were ultimately for them that they were paying for for themselves to survive, not necessarily for you. I wish people would stop making victim feel shit because "hurr you had a roof over yer head and food right???"
Like how is knowing we had the most basic of needs that everyone should have supposed to be a special feat as if we victims didn't experience abuse because of that?
File: 1537795126813.jpg (49.46 KB, 825x464, ellie_the_last_of_us_part_2.jp…)
I wish there were more depictions of female lone wolves in the media. I can't really think of any.
Ironically, lone wolves in the animal kingdom are mostly older females.
Yet as a lifestyle, it's often attributed to men.
It's a lifestyle that I'm working on, but it would nice to have depictions of female characters whether in movies, books, or even video games, where a woman is just happy being on her own whether being on an adventure, working an interesting job, or making her own way to the top without selling her looks or relying on men.
Because when men are lone wolves, they're badass, heroic, enigmatic, etc.
When women are lone wolves they are often called cat ladies and depicted as sad and in dire need of a man.
I wish I had funds to make my own game or enough talent to write my own book. It would probably sell like shit lel
Anon, you inspire me to want to create a work featuring that kind of main character. And I prefer writing romance kek.
File: 1537795847044.jpg (27.73 KB, 500x500, 4CNwYLZ.jpg)
Behold: The minorist of minor vents incoming.
I took out my earring for the first time on friday. Left it in for two years after being pierced (took good care of it with seasalt spray).
It's nearly closed up already, despite having poked through it saturday morning and evening. Since sunday I could no longer go all the way through.
It's frustrating because I first got it pierced 10 years ago- but with a gun instead of a needle so it got infected and as a result I have scar tissue which I'm scared to poke while attempting to insert the earring.
If I ever have kids and they want earrings/piercings I'm absolutely not taking them to a place that uses guns. 10 years later and I still have issues with this shit, I just wish I could wear cute earrings on BOTH sides is that so much to ask for.
whew sorry for the sperg
Nice, I'm glad!
Hopefully, I'll be able to read it one day.
ayyy anon I feel ya, kind of the same. Had my ears pierced since I was 5, with a gun
left ear kept closing, repierce with gun 10yrs later
I own an etsy shop and when trying to display my earrings I can only show how they look when worn on one side lmao
File: 1537822505589.jpeg (54.22 KB, 640x469, CAF044A8-EDE3-44DA-A4A1-5114C1…)
i have a serious case of the munchies and i hate it so much. ever since i stopped being an anachan and cut out the disordered eating it’s like i can’t just sit down and feel calm without munching on something- usually chocolate, nutella or hot cocoa during the winter. it’s a wonder i’m not a fattychan. though i do feel like one.
when i’m not calming whatever’s wrong with me by munching away i have an online shopping addiction that stresses me out even more in the long run. if i see something, i need it before it goes out of stock or i still have some discount code to use or i feel like a failure and i can’t let it go. it’s like i get fixated on items and if i don’t have them there’s something missing and i’m not complete. never mind the guilt of compulsively spending money like a tween.
sweets and online shopping are essentially my drugs and when i’m not having either, i feel completely lost and empty. and of course they both stress the shit out of me too. no matter if i follow through with them or not, i will still feel anxious and guilty and worthless. feels bad.
Have you tried finding healthier things to munch on? Popcorn might be a good substitute. It is low in calories. Even sweet kettle corn isn't that calorific. If you get regular popcorn get the kind without butter. I can also vouch for frozen blueberries, its like crack to me.
You might also do OK with lollipops perhaps, they aren't healthy but they take a much longer time to finish compared to something like a chocolate bar. You can easily kill a chocolate bar quickly and consume a lot of calories, a lollipop can take forever so you can't consume so many calories in the same time frame. For drinks maybe tea sweetened with amacha (Japanese hydrangea) can hit the spot.
File: 1537840796285.jpg (102.85 KB, 1098x1200, DU5uj6wW4AAKXNL.jpg)
I feel like this recent guilt/sadness/whatever over past mistakes is just another way for my brain to justify self hatred. Simply because I've gone a solid year without caring about that fuck-up, and recently the bad thoughts have come back. And my brain's using the regret as a weapon.
Wish I could fully convince myself what happened happened and there's no point to thinking about it. Life moves on. I'll just have to yank up my big girl panties and practice acceptance. There are avenues for success now, even if my current state is colorless.
It's, hard, though. Logically I shouldn't be in this situation; all I had to do was try. Had 3 years to do so.
And, it's not something I can confess IRL because everyone will just shit on me…and it'd probably be what I deserve. Still, though. It's shitty.
uhh, there is something wrong with it though. and who the fuck cares if men defend their grody bullshit? we should let men and their predatory shit program our collective moral compass?
it's not that women should only be held to this standard of not preying on what are basically, mentally, children – it's that it's disgusting for both men and women and it should not be acceptable for anybody. jesus. very disappointed in you anons trying to redeem this shit with "b-but men do it!". yeah, and they're fucking gross and it's a legitimately creepy thing for either sex.>>299898
so teach normal aged bfs a skincare routine, like??? i can't even see a difference between a 28 yo guy and an 18 year old beyond their styling. guys look late twenties by the time they're 18, but tend to look the same until like 30 or whatever
I did that to an extent too anon, I was hopeless when I was younger but I practiced and practiced and practiced, all sorts of different things, and now I can get along with total strangers with no problem and befriend randomers without real effort and I've even defused a few tense situations by just being pleasant and charming and in-control of the situation.
I think a big part of it was practicing so much that now being, like, thoughtful and friendly and engaging is second nature when I'm out and about, it's weird, it's not even 100% acting anymore, it's that ingrained it almost doesn't feel like it.
It's also a very useful skill for getting along with family members and other people I care about when I'm in a bad mood and don't want to show it, 90% of the time I can turn the "good mood" on instantly for them so they don't get worried/annoyed/etc.
Yeah. Pretty good
and for me at least it was like, over the years I figured out a bunch of little things (through trial and error - i.e not doing them at first)
Things like, genuinely LISTEN to people when they're talking, I can't emphasise this too much, react to what they're saying - not exaggeratedly at all, but things like nodding, laughing, sounds of agreement/interest at appropriate times, a big thing that helped me was having "stock phrases" that i could use to show interest in a conversation, PARTICULARLY stuff that encouraged the other person to keep talking - people on the whole always enjoy talking about themselves and their interests to an interested audience, it's natural
If youre not naturally empathetic, you can still help yourself by TRYING to be empathetic, like, if someone's telling you about a messy divorce, and they don't seem too happy about it, you don't need to be a genius to get that that is something you should be suitably serious about - they might want to linger on that, they might not, so drop it when they seem to want to drop it
Another thing: don't talk about yourself all the time, if possible, only talk about yourself when it's necessary to, keep it to a bare minimum - this is about getting along with people, not forming bonds or something, just getting along
More on the stock phrases, stuff like "how long have you been doing (interest) for?" "what do you like about it?" "how does such-and-such work?" - tbh there are a billion examples, they don't have to be hugely insightful or groundbreaking questions, just enough to keep things rolling. Shy away from asking about personal stuff but there's a lot you can talk about with a person without sounding like a creep. People love complaining, too, lmao.
But yeah, and then I practiced, practiced, practiced. People I met in supermarkets, at the bus stop, at clubs, at work, everything. Some people you just won't ever really get on with, and that's fine, but you can still do your best. In one case I managed to keep a solid, professional, even pretty pleasant working relationship with a colleague i really didn't like, because i TAMPED DOWN on my feelings of dislike and outright just pretended i was her buddy. Painful for me, but it was a far better outcome than the mood of the department being shit.
You often have to put your feelings - of boredom, of crankiness, whatever - to one side. It's a valuable skill to have. No-one's saying stick around someone who's giving you bad vibes, but even in those scenarios - speaking from experience - you can sometimes get someone to leave you alone in a nice way, rather than a way that could turn aggressive. Not every weirdo who approaches you is going to rape and dismember you unless you kick him in the nuts and run away. But that depends on a bunch of factors, like where you are, time of day, people around etc. If you gotta run, run.
And I guess the final thing is, you can be in control of the situation if you want. Don't turn into a megalomaniac, but like, if you're just standing around awkwardly with someone, and the conversation has dried up (or even if it hasn't!) you CAN just go, "hey, it was nice talking to you, see you later" or similar, I know this seems to contradict a bit with what I said above but there's a time and a place for everything. You really don't have to be reliant on everyone else to start and stop every interaction.
Well that's all I can think of for now. Hope it's some use, anon. It's a learning curve, seriously, just don't get disheartened. Even normies do a lot of shit they find really, really embarrassing, it's not just us.
Anon that’s not your fault it’s the bus app. Good on you for letting people know and being a helpful citizen.
I could never do that, too socially retarded + in my country, to a lot of people, randomly talking to strangers earns you an immediate weirdo/crackhead/drunkard stamp lol
Idk everyone does it? But you are right.>>299952
I'm very talkative to strangers. I have many funny stories to tell because of it. But many creepy ones, too. I guess I'm a weird crackhead but what ever.
I just want to say that I know how you feel cause I've been in the same situation. When I was living with my parents food was the only distraction from how awful and lonely my life was and the only thing that made me feel good for a moment despite of depression. Due to my father losing work of 15 years and borderline illegal mortgage we ended up being really poor suddenly. I was not taking medication yet so was really umbalanced emotionally. It could make me cry and get angry when my father did not bring me the chips or sweets that I requested, especially when I knew that there's something I can't stand for dinner. I remember being really angry and disapointed when my father bought me basic corn puffs and not chips cause he could barely afford even them. I hated myself for not being able to appreciate them and acting like a little shit but I could not stop my crying tantrum cause it made me remember how poor we are and how shitty is our situation. I feel awful even remembering that. It was such a terrible mix of painful emotions - feeling sorry for my dad, irrationally angry cause I did not get what I wanted and because my life was shit, overwhelmed with depression….
The fact that now I can purchase and eat all the food I want is a major contributor to my binge-eating disorder and why I'll have to start therapy soon.
Sorry for the useless blogpost
One of my friends started dating someone and that shook up the entire group structure because she's distanced herself from us to be with him. She's quite man-dependent and acts like she was born conjoined with him.
We talked it over after some little fights, she's closer now. She drags him along with her, but still.
It's quite bothersome sometimes but he's not a bad guy so we try to befriend him too.
Then today one of my friends decides to start yelling at her and call her names because she was making out with the boyfriend in front of him, causing a scene in the middle of the campus. I wasn't there and they came to cry in my arms later because i'm the "therapist friend".
I'm heavily depressed atm, can't bother to quit smoking so much and literally am just a ball of stress with finals and projects coming up at the end of the year, and have no idea what do. I told them both my honest opinion ("You're quite obnoxious with your relationship, but he was an asshole and you should get him to apologize / I know she's been annoying and that is really uncomfortable, but you should have your nerves under control and apologize"), but they still don't want to talk to each other properly and i'm honestly too exhausted to bother anymore.
They're the few people i actually care about in this city and i'm considering just asking for a transfer over to another state's uni, packing up and leaving all this fucking drama and discomfort behind.
This wasn't even the first drama i've gotten myself into lately, since i already got into fights a lot before, but this one was too much.
(Before anyone asks, yeah, we're quite young. Youngest of the group just arrived at 19 and the oldest is 24.)
I think it would be nice if we had a thread for "good/innocent" media? I'm sick of reading books, watching movies and tv series (or like in your case mvs) and then completely unsuspectingly having to see something gross. That might seem tumblrina like, but not everybody is fine with having to watch some disgusting or creepy shit done against women in their free time, without even getting a warning. If you read/watch a thriller you know beforehand that there's probably at least one person going to get killed in it, but people nowadays love to put objectifying or even rape scenes whenever they feel fit, just like a little "extra" (e.g. GoT: Yes, the middle ages were tough, but every single women did not get raped every single day)
I wish people wouldn't be so soft on rappers. Kanye is old, a father, he really shouldn't get away with being like this.
Yeah, that was a weird horror element in an otherwise goofy video. Although the song itself seemed to be disrespectful to women, it wasn't in a way that would warrant creepy imagery like that. It wasn't angry or sadistic, just about promiscuity (?).
I also hate seeing women in submissive/objectified scenarios, anon. I used to chalk it up to me being a domme and thinking "Well I'd hate doing that! Jeez!", but I've since realized it's everywhere which makes me even more uncomfortable.
thanks anons. i don't feel like i'm being dramatic now. fuck it, even being tough and stoic shouldn't mean you put up with shit that goes against all basic humanity.
> It wasn't angry or sadistic, just about promiscuity (?).
this is what i find so creepy. it's so weird, but at least being like "ooh i'm so evil and bad for society! look at all the fucked up things i do! idgaf" has the mercy of acknowledging that you're doing fucked up things. this is like a dissociated, oblivious type of cruelty which is so much creepier to me. and the women weren't struggling or screaming even, just sitting still with their heads down, like they've completely given up, like they think they deserve to be there. gross gross gross
File: 1537918060442.png (531.18 KB, 471x594, 9099.png)
This girl is 14, already looks like a 24 year old IG "baddie", and does sponsorships for Fashion Nova.
I'm sorry, but this shit is so gross to me. At least Danielle Bregoli is in her late teens. Why are 14 year olds being advertised this way?https://www.instagram.com/daniellecohn/
File: 1537930669602.png (2.26 MB, 1182x1186, 45849301745.png)
I just want a cute husband to have cute kids with
File: 1537938189031.gif (411.37 KB, 500x281, kPIde4a.gif)
My first day of going back to low-carb (kinda keto, but my protein intake was higher than keto allows) and goddamn, this diarrhea. I guess it's better than the constant constipation I have while eating carbs, but goddamn still.
From one self destructive (suicidal more like) person to another, I feel you. Generally what stops me is that I know I'll hate myself and life even more if I do actually fuck myself up like wearing down my stomach lining from the alcohol and benadryl combination.
Why put yourself through that? Is it going to be worth it to end up on a hospital bed or making life more unbearable when you do actually make yourself ill? I remember when I could barley breathe and was bed-ridden for nearly two weeks and don't want to go back to that. It's all fun and games until you actually fuck yourself over then you regret it. Sorry if that doesn't help much, but it helps me to know I'm not the only one here suffering from the same mindset
That isn't weird to me. I know exactly how you feel. I hate my mums eating SO much. My sister hates it too. It makes me extremely irrationally angry, I have to leave the room. But She doesn't get triggered
when we tell we hate her eating. She just laughs.
Does it happen with anyone else? I'm interested in this cos it runs in my family. My grandpa's mother smashed a glass over his as a child cos he "ate too loud" then he made my dad suck on potato chips instead of chewing them cos the noise would trigger
him so much he'd hit them. My dad then got the same problem, sweating and shouting and leaving the room cos of our eating and now I have it too. It's really weird.
Holy shit me too! I hate the sound anyone makes while they eat, it just grates on my nerves. I get intrusive thoughts about punching them in the face sometimes. I try not to purchase crunchy foods for home so I can it minimizes how noisy people around me are while eating.>>300526
Thanks anon! Figures there'd be a word for this.
I need an advice from you, guys. I though that this place would be perfect to ask as everyone can be truly honest and not pretend to be moralists fags.
So there's a guy friend of mine that was recently married ok after a quite long term relationship with his girlfriend, I know the girl in question before they married, she screwed uó with me in the past and she has some shitty mental disorders like bpd, depression, anxiety, binge ED and at the same time treat him like shit most of the time, doesn't study or work and live sucking his and her family money like a parasite. I said I knew the girl by myself so you can't tell me that the guy lied about her shitty personality in order to manipulate me. For some time I truly believed that the guy regreted marry with her and soon would ask for a divorce as he's cleary not happy but it seems like he wanted the relationship end by it self. Ok, it's understandable. Some time ago he said he was in love with me, so was I because we were very close at the time and we sleeped together but without intercourse 2 times and flerted by messenger but I stopped this shit as quick as I can. I felt like shit afterwards because I don't want to be a lover of any stupid married man as I deserve better and didn't wanted to make anyone suffer because of my fault. We are still friends and talk about normal things on a daily basis as he's a pleasant and interesting person to talk to. What bugs and let me utterly digusted is that they post photos together on social media pretending to be the perfect couple with him sometimes saying how much he love her when he only talked bad about her not talking anything good to me not even once and people commenting "omg you 2 r so cute together!". Of course she didn't know he was unfaithtful truly believing he uncontitionally loves her with all of her problems and before me he flerted with at least two other girls but didn't had anything as he told me as I adviced him that this would not be a good idea.
Should I tell her who her husbund truly is? I'm almost sure that she wouldn't break up with him as she is a complete lazy ass and live with his money but if I were in her place I'd wish to know with whom I'm living with and I don't like men doing good decieving others like this. For one side they deserve each other with this digusting codependency and toxic relationship, for the other side besides she being a not so nice human being she should have the right to know and can teach him a lesson, maybe? She would be very angry at me too with good reason to do so but I can handle it. Idk I'm so digusted.
I know you will judge me a lot but what would you do in my place?
I have this too, it's terrible when you can't avoid the sound.
I have the urge to smash the person or animal as hard as I can to stop it, but I never actually have done it. It's ok to eat in an area with other sounds as it kind suffocates de eating sound but staying in a quite room with other people eating and making noises like pigs get me really angry for no reason at all.
Tbh I'd tell her.
I'd want to know who my husband is sleeping with.
Better she knows and don't get kids with this asshole.
Yeah, she is fucked up but this guy married her, it is his fault he is with her.
And I don't think you are the 'evil' person here. He is because he is married and should only fuck his wife, that is not your problem.
If every women would tell, maybe there wouldn't be as much cheaters in this world.
Just leave him alone. If his relationship was really that bad, why did he get married? If you want my honest opinion, it sounds like this guy doesn't know what he wants. Even if he gets a divorce i would still proceed with caution. If he's willing to cheat with her, he'd probably do it with you.
If his wife has so many mental issues like you say, what good is it going to do telling her? It's just gonna make your friend more miserable than he already supposedly is.
Just leave married men alone.
This isn't bitchy. Your cousin is petty and you have a right to be angry. However I would forgo the nasty message and just start ignoring them. Like you said, the sweetest revenge would be living your best life without them in it.
I too come from a divorced home and was an only child. The cousins on my mother's side treated me like a black sheep and only interacted with me when they're forced to at social events. Strangely I'm friends with my aunt and uncle though.
But yeah, when they pass I never expect to hear shit from them unless it's over inheritance and money, just like what happened when my grandpa passed.
When my mom remarried I got to be friends with a younger cousin from my stepdad's side. We don't talk or see each other often but I try to spoil her when I do.
It's been a week post-breakup. Just wanted to update with some new vents.
Actually, I've felt nothing but relief. I think I'm more or less grieving about the time I lost while with this guy, and maybe the fantasy of having a boyfriend who'd actually care and would want to provide a bit more.
Found out some pretty disturbing things via friends, but I'll talk about that later.
When I came home from my parents house I found him sleeping in my bed. Dishes in the sink. Rotten milk in the garbage can that made the place reek. Oh well. I let that stuff go because I told him we needed to talk about important things, schedules, etc. Yelling would've caused him to shut down like a toddler. I drove us out to breakfast and he was being grouchy to me. Just nasty. Why? Because he's trying to go to that family wedding out of state and already presumed he didn't have a hope in hell of getting a plane ticket from me (a ticket now costs $500). He wasn't trying to keep up pretense. Anyway, I tried to talk with him about the finances but he was just being difficult. I asked him "What about buying a bus ticket?" In which he replied it was too expensive. I found one for $90 and showed it to him. His response? "I don't need
a travel agent. Even if I got the bus ticket it would take too much travel time. So obviously I'm not going
." Woe is him, right? I'm the one
ruining shit for him, right?
"Well then maybe you shouldn't be acting nasty to the only person who can give you a plane ticket right now. Be nice to me. Let's talk."
And just like a light switch, he started to be nice. Cooperative. Even picked up the breakfast tab~ The snake, and then at the end of our meal he tried to say his feelings for me hadn't changed lol.
So right now there's this ridiculous facade of us being on friendly speaking terms, while underneath is his thinly veiled contempt. Contempt because he knows his life is going to get 100 times more difficult without me in the picture, and I've got him by the balls. I plan to give him the plane tickets because I'm not vindictive, and I need this in part so he won't give me trouble about signing me off the lease, but I see through him and his game. My official move out date is next Saturday.
Speaking of, my parents are letting me stay with them for a couple months so I can pay down some debts and save up for a house down payment. Nice of them, eh? Although I may just need to find a storage unit for my stuff because yesterday (on what was going to be me and my ex's anniversary) I got a reply back from a very important government job I had applied for months ago, so I may need to be moving state to train.
Maybe all this was divine timing. My ex would've had to shoo once I got this response, he wasn't coming with me regardless if we were still together.
Recall how I told you guys about the sweet friend who showed him the engagement ring pictures?
She told me he said to her that he meant to propose to me during our international trip. When I came back with nothing she figured it didn't happen.
Out of curiosity I asked him if it was true. He said yes, but "he couldn't afford" the ring. For the record: The ring wasn't over $3k and I wasn't even asking for a wedding ceremony. I just wanted my birthstone in a nice setting. Yet this retard couldn't even figure how to finance one. The plane tickets to our vacation cost double the ring I wanted! Regardless, it all doesn't matter now. Things will get better, it's just awkward having to live here still.
Any chance you might gently persuade her to see a therapist and maybe a shrink?
I am a 26 y/o selfharmer (though clean for a year) and I know the torment she must feel in her soul to do that. The selfinjury is a symptom of a much worse problem and she needs support and help with it.
You probably know that, but please don't shame her. Instead, be there for her and try to steer her in the right direction (if your relationship is close enough for that).
I wish you and your mom all the best in the future.
>>300565>Just leave him alone. If his relationship was really that bad, why did he get married?
In part because of giving her a passport for other country that he will work in the near future, fear of being alone and low self steem believing that nobody would love he are some of the the reasons. But yeah, you also have a point.
>If his wife has so many mental issues like you say, what good is it going to do telling her?
Agree, but she also loves people to pity her and always try to manipulate people with it to get what she want. Idk open her eyes.>>300569
O think that she would care a lot and be really angry as she never knew this kind of atitude of her husband before.
Wear a wig and get on a diet before you turn around and realize you've gained 100 pounds and you're really in a "kill yourself" situation.
You could lose that weight in a couple months if you buckle down now.
Sorry if I sounded mean with the shaming part, you did not sound like the type of person at all but from my experience I know that some family members say things like 'how can you do this to me' or 'this helps nothing' etc. because they believe it helps. Does the psychiatrists offer therapy or just medication (here it's just the second but I know in the USA it can be both)? Cause maybe despite medication she is not taking care of the psychological issue that makes her want to harm herself. Therapy could be really helpful, but of course it requires time and running into a therapist that you click with. Obviously she must want that for herself and it's not an instant cure… It just seems to me that she has a really troubled mind.
Does she go to drug or alcohol rehab or do you have those for selfharm too (sorry, stupid question)?
This annoys me so much. Or the girls who swear their bi but never persue women and only talk about hot girls in the presence of guys they're fucking or want to fuck.
I had a friend in hs like that and we talked for a few weeks before she ghosted me out of nowhere and got some random bf then repeat the cycle a few time until I just gave up.
File: 1538033385784.jpg (599.18 KB, 1280x1014, 1280px-Van_Gogh_-_Starry_Night…)
I hate how pretentious people can get around anything cultural. I hate how you can't say you enjoy mainstream stuff without getting a little snide smile, sorry I do fucking enjoy Van Gogh and Picasso, I don't feel the need to name drop an obscur contemporary tchetchen artist to feel good about myself. There is a reason Monet, Cezanne, Matisse, etc, are big names, it's because their work was not only beautiful but also fresh and transformative, yes everyone has seen the starry night a billion time in their life, and guess what? I'm still amazed at its beauty every single time I get to see it, and I hope it will stay this way until I can't see anymore. Blasé isn't cool.
Well let's see here>spend time writing up a rejection message that's nice and kind but not so nice as to make them hopeful that something can happen between us, only to be called a fat ugly whore and harassed, perhaps even stalked
Or>Block them and enjoy the rest of my day in peace and quiet
Really difficult, that one
I'm gay and i think her bf is ugly as sin. I think he looks like Onion.>>300909
I'm not that level of petty and i kind of still respect her so i think i'm just gonna put this particular friendship down.
File: 1538044161094.jpeg (124.36 KB, 637x1045, E6A52285-45C6-4606-BFE7-4A10EE…)
I want metoo to fucking go away already I’m sick of hearing all these descriptions of rape and sexual assault and people talking about coercion and men’s rapey behavior that they consider normal it always reminds me that I can never really know the truth if I was raped and I have to feel these horrible feelings every time.
I guess I should feel happy that my ex is probably super on edge thinking I’ll call him out any day now as part of some hashtag movement but I can’t cause I just feel miserable and cornered. I tried to be the perfect victim so hard and not tell anybody but it just blew up in my face.
Stay strong anon. Also>the fantasy of having a boyfriend who'd actually care and would want to provide a bit more.
The fantasy just starts now. Now you can get out there and find a great boyfriend, although I wouldn't advise you to rush it. Take time to appreciate yourself. He'll come back crawling soon (I always give 2 weeks then 3 years, it's always been the golden ratio of my exes) so make sure to be prepared to turn him away.
All this time you've been wishing for something that is not happening. It's like you buying a green tank top and trying to dye it yourself and make it a blue sweater.
Also btw if he really wanted to get you a ring he'd have done it. If he was truly clueless but well meaning, he'd have asked one of your friend. All these things he could have done but didn't do, don't forget them when he comes back crying that he realized the errors of his way and "changed".
I am so sorry for what happened to you guys. I belueve there is no really raped, either you were or not. Seems like it happened to you.
You reminded me of how I was annoyed by a girl from my uni who felt compelled to make #metoo post on facebook about being catcalled or something. I know I should not be, but I found it really annoying and attention whorey. Maybe cause she posted it on fb where her random acquaintances (and not people browsing the tag or her followers) could see. The fact that it was such a minor case of experiencing sexual harassment made it more annoying too.
I know I should not feel like it, but in my eyes the post read like she wanted to get some free feminist cookies for being a victim too. The post was really self-centered. On the other hand, I do know the point of the movement is showcasing how common sexual abuse is, so I am probably a shitty person for wanting her to stfu or go rant somewhere else where I won't see it and it actually is relevant.
File: 1538052887201.jpg (45.21 KB, 637x960, 1529996979930.jpg)
>something awful happens in my life
>friend asks what's up
>'that's horrible! i'll come visit you'
>day they're supposed to visit comes and goes, no word
>gets back to me a couple days later
>'sorry i've been so busy'
I really don't get people who offer to hang out and then pretend they're too busy for it later. Either admit you did something like forget, or that I'm not important enough for you to make it a priority.
I wouldn't take either personally, I just find the 'I'm busy' excuse annoying when I wasn't the one who pursued their company to begin with lmao. God, it sounds so narc-y too…
File: 1538069097151.jpg (78.06 KB, 640x640, a8367387990b385c07438d1cbb4e0f…)
I used to be so jelly of thotties with cute belly piercing but I have a flat stomach now and I'm soon going to have one. So ready to become even more of a basic bitch. I heard it hurt like hell tho.
File: 1538071574992.gif (51.04 KB, 500x376, 1534485731097.gif)
I'm 19 now and I still experience no sexual attraction at all. I never get turned on and the thought of sex is kinda gross to me. I guess I'm asexual and I've kinda accepted that I'm probably never going to be in a relationship because of it.
However, I wonder if I was "born" asexual or if me taking antidepressants since I was 14 fucked my libido up forever. I've stopped taking them for a year now but still experience no attraction or sexual desire at all.
Is there anyone here who can share their experiences with antidepressants. Did your libido go back to normal after you stopped taking them?
Taking antidepressants for 4 years magically killed my libido last year. I went from someone with low but existing libido to an asexual. I hate sex because I get nothing out of it and it hurts sometimes. I want to make my bf happy though.
I'm trying to switch medication, hope it helps. I don't think I can survive without antidepressants…
I had to clean a rat cage today but the cage and stuff isn't heavy, there was no "owww" moment. It just started earlier tonight. Ahh I took a tramadol and not even that is helping dI can't even move to switch sides to lay on. This is fucked >>301456
No I didn't.
File: 1538078288802.png (181.65 KB, 500x629, 1511592633205.png)
i want to shave all my hair off mainly because i am very stressed, it's falling off and thinning along with a hairline that keeps receding…though im sure itll make me ugly and my crush will stop talking to me.
File: 1538078838781.png (96.87 KB, 689x473, 1522551208393.png)
absolutely not relevant to you if you don't have a spinal deformity kek but hyperlordosis anon here and if I am "vertical" for longer then normal (like walking around and stuff) then my lower back is killing me too.
Back stuff is serious though so pls go to your gp if it does persist, literally the worst body part to hurt bc you can't do anything if it does.
File: 1538092495216.jpg (7.34 KB, 360x360, the-evidence.jpg)
I feel like the worst person in the world
>be me at the gym
>trying a different branch than my usual one
>rush hour and low end neighborhood so the clients are kind of dumb and loud
>staff only pays attention to their friends
>fucking people cant even follow instructions to change exercise anti clockwise in the 30' circuit
>go to the baths
>see an open backpack with a whole piece of toilet paper inside of it
>it's one of those large rolls designed to not be stolen
>looks like the gym staff are not storing them properly
>take a bath
>roll still there visible to everyone
>bag's owner not even trying to hide it
>leave the bathroom
>pissed off because I want to ask a question but the front desk is full
>finally someone pays attention to me
>decide to tell them about the toilet paper problem because why not
>feeling good and ready to go home
>manager stops me all tensed up and asks me to snitch who was the women stealing paper
>all eyes on me
>lie that I didn't see who it was and just describe her bag
On my walk home feel crappy the whole time thinking how if they spot her she could lose her membership, or maybe she was an cleaning employee and I could have just costed her a job.
I don't know why didn't I just kept my mouth shut. It's not like I never stole dumb shit like that back in the day because some impulse control issues.
Maybe I'm just an asshole and did it for attention of the fucking front desk employees because I'm THAT starved for human interaction and validation.
I should have just lied that the women had gone home already.
if this is planet fitness, just saying, no one uses those 30 minute circuits clockwise or counterclockwise, people just use the machines of their choice. plus, not everyone wants to necessarily do a full body workout in there. i only use them to get away from the burly dudes in the main section that i feel like are always judging me for being puny
also, why would you even care? lol like if it's a big gym who cares about one roll of toilet paper? cant help but lol @ people embarrassing themselves over 'helping' big companies like these big companies could ever gaf about you
I’m extremely pissed about this too. Kavanaugh came in going from furious yelling to sniffling (with no tears??) back to yelling… and when actually questioned he was making bitchy retorts, nervous laughing, and rambling like a fucking psycho.
People are calling him “authentic” and “showing his anguish”, but you know if a woman acted like that she’d be called hysterical and not believed for even one second.
All I saw was a privileged asshole who got what he wanted all his life, finally being challenged on something and backed into a corner having a total meltdown.
Not planet fitness, I'm not even in the US, and the 30' thing was with props and a trainer giving instructions and people just ignoring them or not understanding what anti clockwise means.
Tbh I don't care about big corporations in theory, but if it's a situation involving other people and I'm already stressed I tend to revert back to my craving for praise bootlicking brainwashed highschool self, or sometimes the hidding in the bathroom\fire stairs for 1+ hours self.
File: 1538101854291.jpg (24.34 KB, 750x375, 5bad32b29c5d67fb118b456f-750-3…)
I'm glad someone else feels the same way, today has been so hard for me and someone in one of my classes even made a joke about how he would have never done that because she's ugly. She did such a good job staying calm and collected during her testimony, he was being ridiculous… but women are too emotional for politics right? He will still be confirmed I'm 99.99% sure. It's heartbreaking. It's shit like this that makes women not want to speak up when something happens to themI regret reporting my rape to my university so much. The guy who did it to me got off with a warning for entering the dorm building using someone else's keycard meanwhile I had to do alcohol counseling and was put on disciplinary probation (on my permanent transcript) because I was drunk when it happened and the university found a liquor bottle in my dorm. No one witnessed it happened therefore the university didn't believe me and they urged me not to involve the police (I was barely 18 and stupid and thought I had done something wrong). I had proof of text messages of me telling him to not come over because I was too drunk and to leave me alone, still he came in when I was passed out and my stupid fucking roommate let him in because he lied and told her I wanted him to come over (she left him alone with me and I woke up with his dick in my face). I went to a really small university and ended up transferring because everyone found out about it and I was basically an outcast. Sorry to post about it I just needed to get it off my chest, I haven't thought about it in probably 3 years.
he sounds like a fucking asshole and a piece of shit and you deserve better.
consider divorce if possible or at least marriage counseling (if there is anything to save there, which I don't think from what you said, but…).
Also get help for your ana issues.
You deserve so much better, anon.
Anon, I bet there's at least one person on this Earth who would go mad with grief if you were gone. Hang in there for whomever that might be.
If there's one thing posting here should teach you, it's that men and looks won't automaticaloy make somebody happy or a good person.
I daresay some cows are pretty. Some could have any guy they wanted. But they're horrible people who damage every life they touch, including their own.
You have value, Anon. Even if you think you don't, you do, I guarantee it.
Not at all. You think someone who can and does call someone else a dogfucker and say they are creepily projecting in the same sentence is a healthy well adjusted person?
They’re so delicate the existence of a dog nearby sends them into fits of tearful, shaking rage as they compulsively scream that strangers are insane monsters who have sex with dogs.
File: 1538180475664.jpeg (61.17 KB, 747x382, DE7D11F4-AB2B-4884-BA9A-6E52BC…)
Dang you’re lazy
30 seconds to find someone saying it
Go sook about it in your containment thread. The infighting between dog haters and dog lovers is pathetic.
Go back to your containment thread instead of constantly shitting up meta as well as the vent thread, and the pet liking thread.
It’s not the only time people from your animal hating club try to be Le epic troll by calling people dog fuckers and narcissists. It’s so obviously deliberate and so petty and you’re just..committing yourself to it as though it’s an important or interesting opinion and not just two groups of autistic garbage seeing who can scream reeee the loudest.
No wonder the mods don’t moderate at all anymore.
File: 1538180924975.png (415.04 KB, 1826x558, Screen Shot 2018-09-28 at 8.21…)
>>302207>crying over how they saw a dog in public>crying over how people make jokes about cats>crying over people loving dogs>crying over anons making a thread to post dogs and give advice>crying over their friends having dogs>everyone who owns a dog is a narcissist
It's just so…weird to me. I can't imagine devoting that much energy to hating an animal. There's no cat hate thread, just a dog love thread. I've known many cats who are horribly behaved and will scratch you up and bite you, but I'm not making a thread about how much I hate cats because I realize some people are just bad pet owners/some pets have rough personalities.
Well no, the point I made is that there are people so autistic they are actually screeching out ‘dog fucker!’
How serious they are is irrelevant when we’re discussing how they are obnoxious and deliberately posting everywhere in a poor attempt at trolling.
It was 1 single person saying that once. Not people all screeching all the time.
Plus you are the ones laughing about the death of an animal in your containment thread.
I wonder what is worse? hm…
File: 1538181409044.png (336.86 KB, 758x616, 1538069262705.png)
We're totez not hating cats you guys.
It's only stated in the op, oh and we occasionally also post things like pic related. But other than that not.
Not from either thread because both camps are embarrassing retards.
If you go through the dog hating thread there’s plenty of dog fucker comments as well as about fifty armchair diagnoses. I’m not obliged to take twenty caps to prove that some retards are saying retarded shit. >>302229
You have never been forced to interact with a dog, and only you and other dog-phobic people think the places dogs are are places they don’t belong. You don’t need to go to a park so it’s not a big deal.
What else would you call it when someone is so scared of dogs they will literally refuse to walk near one on the street?
Some people are genuinely afraid of dogs anon..phobias are real outside of made-up she crap
File: 1538182052327.jpeg (19.11 KB, 512x288, B3FB2CCE-5B41-4659-B7D3-F902FC…)
But it’s petowners who are easily triggered
and too sensitive.
>>302234>You have never been forced to interact with a dog, and only you and other dog-phobic people think the places dogs are are places they don’t belong. You don’t need to go to a park so it’s not a big deal.
Excuse me? You're bitching about armchair diagnoses when you're telling people their experiences with dogs being in restaurants, grocery stores, etc, aren't real and completely denying that dogs have never been anywhere inappropriate for them? Despite it being literally in the news that dogs are allowed in stores and at restaurants? https://barkpost.com/dog-friendly-stores/https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6109922
Doesn't matter at all to you dog weirdos (obvious by your denial that dogs aren't brought to places they don't belong) that people might not feel safe or comfortable or are allergic to them, etc. What about people being uncomfortable about being sat next to them on flights? That never happens? https://viewfromthewing.boardingarea.com/2017/05/19/passenger-kicked-off-american-airlines-flight-asking-not-seated-next-large-dog/
What, you mean walking on the other side of the street when you see a fucking pitbull? I'd just call them sane.>>302249
everytime I hear the word "pupper" or "doggo" it shaves a week off my lifespan. "smol" and "birb" too.
Only in your hilariously stupid country so yeah, it’s not a real problem except for the crybabies in America.
Guide dogs are necessary and if you’re gonna be upset over a blind person being able to catch a plane or eat at a restaurant or wander around the mall because they have a guide dog with them you’re a selfish pussy.
Fake emotional support dogs are frustrating, but you’re not being assaulted by their existence. If you’re allergic, you are not physically forced to interact with or be near the dog. You’re a grownup who can move away. The blind person can’t do shit without their dog.
Because you’re afraid of the dog breed.
And you’ve also cherrypicked a single breed that was bred for fighting. If someone crosses the road to get the fuck away from a Labrador puppy, yes, I’d say that’s a phobic reaction.
Sorry you really wanted dogphobic to be some sjw tier garbage and not just people with a phobia.
File: 1538182535418.jpg (89.15 KB, 720x1121, dwxsuwzctrk01.jpg)
Why do we have to justify not liking or wanting to own a dog, when they literally look like this
The way dogfags discuss this topic is so embarrassingly disingenuous. As if Tiffany & Co, the most high end store with few locations, is the only place allowing dogs. Right, none of us are going to Home Depot or Lowes or Barnes and Noble, or Michaels, or Ross in our daily lives.>>302261>Only in your hilariously stupid country so yeah, it’s not a real problem except for the crybabies in America.
so the country is hilariously stupid for allowing dogs in stores and chain restaurants, but then people are crybabies for being reasonably upset about it? And wew, that strawman. No one was complaining about a guide-dog on a plane. Dogs are being brought everywhere as bullshit "emotional support animals", and even then, without the emotional support license, they're still allowed places where they shouldn't be.
But I love the dumb as fuck ways you argue, anon, I really do. >IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AND HASN'T HAPPENED TO YOU>ONLY IN YOUR STUPID COUNTRY, WHICH IS STUPID FOR HAVING THESE POLICIES, BUT YOU'RE ALSO CRYBABIES FOR NOT LIKING THE POLICIES
This is why people don't like dogfags. You can't even concede and admit that bringing these dogs places they shouldn't be puts these dogs, and humans, at risk. If these dogs bite anyone, they will be forcibly put down.
No your country is stupid because of healthcare, utter lack of public education, extreme Christianity, and gun laws. America being a stupid place has nothing to do with dogs, it’s the citizens.
It’s normal and sensible for service animals to be allowed anywhere that a person who uses one could be.
Lmao blind people are a straw man? Wow.
Not Home Depot, and not a big chain, but I went to sign papers for my homeowners insurance and an agent working there was allowed by her superiors for whatever reason to bring her quite large Australian Shepherd/Terrier mix in with her, and the dog would growl if I didn't play with her/pet her, it was pretty scary tbh, being 'assured' that the dog wouldn't bite me and wasn't being aggressive, and that I "just need to play with her – she wants attention!", wasn't exactly a consolation because those vocalizations aren't typically meant for "i want attention". I don't even necessarily dislike dogs all that much, but this shit is too much. If you dogfags were reasonable, you guys would just acknowledge that for the sake of these dogs, they shouldn't be taken everywhere. None of this shit is even remotely safe for them.
Human society is too unpredictable, people are loud, people are aggressive, and you can't ever manage your dog's reactions to how people will act, and you just can't manage if your dog gets scared for no reason, etc. Imo, you guys just must not care for your dogs if you're excusing bringing them places.
Wow anon, can't believe you made it out of that alive. So happy we have survivors like you to tell their stories. That must have been so terrifying for you, you're so brave to post here!
It's almost like a dog's owner would know their mannerisms better than you, someone who clearly suffers from being fucking autistic to the point of no return.
File: 1538184427681.jpg (61.35 KB, 498x360, dogs.jpg)
If these trolls think dogs are dangerous to be around because 0.0001% of them manage to hurt someone, just wait til they meet a person
File: 1538194924422.png (12.63 KB, 100x100, tumblr_inline_p0nf9h3VBw1r1g8u…)
Honestly I feel this. It's very gross that literal rape is "selling more" than regular sex. I understand that drawn media is an outlet for rape fetishists (yuck) because well, it's better than actually filming real rape (even though that still happens), but it's overabundent to the point of normalisation.
And yeah, whining about hentai and yada yada, but I too like hentai as an option to real porn, considering how many women are hurt in the process.
I guess we need more woman drawing hentai in general.
Do you expect me to watch porn where actual women get exploited? I know that it's shown because it's popular, it's just extremely sad to me that rape/incest/loli/shota is more in demand than just happy people fucking.>>302389
I too get that having the drawn shit can be an outlet for some (though not all, as can be seen in that bestiality thread in /snow/), but like… where are the people with the normal sexuality?!
I feel so done with the alternative living, natural, socialist, hipster crowd.
I love what they represent in theory, but they are so cliquish, unorganized, and some times just damn right rude.
There's this cultural center that it's kind of self run, part local gov money, and they have some cool things there, like organic farmers on demand market every couple of weeks, yoga, an open kitchen, etc, but it makes me so frustrated how the people that are supposed to be running the place are so unhelpful, ignore you and only pay any attention to their personal friends, that look like them and are mostly white and from upper middle class, it sucks how they don't even try to be professional or organized.
Idk where you live/if it's accessible to you but you may try seeing a gastroenterologist, binging/starving can really fuck up your digestive tract and not everything is obvious in blood tests
(source: in BED recovery and going through a similar thing, no conclusive results)
Yeah, the original just seemed like a cute joke and now…it's all porn lmao.
It's like another Smug Wendy, although thankfully not pedoshit this time.
are you still here, i know how to fix it.
just report it as missing mail. they found my package that they were going to ship back to japan and delivered it to me for free, even though i put the wrong address on it.
File: 1538258025639.jpeg (150.9 KB, 1125x638, 510B6BC9-AF39-4EF5-B74A-75ED3D…)
if I read another thing about fake ass trypophobia im going to lose it
File: 1538259004148.gif (5.54 MB, 270x275, 1537431893932.gif)
>friend hosts board game party
>it's in the early afternoon
>but I'm tired, tell her I'm gonna be late and take an hour nap
>show up with two cases of beer that went over really well last time
>(recently single so I just wanted to drink and have a loose time)
>some woman I don't know brought her little girl
>literal 3 year old, young enough to babble but old enough to run around and be annoying
>they also started a really complicated, long board game that will be hours to complete
>can't add more players
>couple who came late also can't play
>feel uncomfortable drinking or even lightly cursing around a fucking toddler
>also bored because I have to watch a really dry game all the way from the far end of the table
I think the mom's a negligent bitch. The husband of the couple who came late kind of got roped into being the kid herder while the mom sits her ass at the table and occasionally yells at her kid to stop being bad. She isn't friendly either, which just lowers my opinion.
Why don't people like this just hire a damn babysitter? Nobody wants a fucking toddler at a game night.
And isn't it kind of unfair to the kid who probably isn't having an insanely fun time either??? Hence why she's acting out and trying to get attention from folks?
This is just really not cool. Hopefully the bitch leaves soon, unless she's one of those dumbshit parents who lets their toddler stay up until whenever.
I mean I get rly uncomfortable with hokey things because my brain says parasites and disease about it but nobody needs a trigger warning
for something that could make you a tad uncomfortable.
You can’t expect to ever be protected from a specific phobia anyway. It could be literally anything and the world should not hide it’s slitted spoons and beehives just because some asshole thinks their slight discomfort should matter to anyone else.
File: 1538262995621.jpeg (95.95 KB, 500x750, CF52D428-EA93-4287-BDD8-8207AD…)
my upper back hurts from constantly leaning in on my electronics and constant back-cracking. and it’s probably going to get worse since im going on a 2nd round of accutane
Thanks for your reply but I tried to report it and the website said It was outside the acceptable time to submit a report. The delivery date was yesterday so I guess that means I have to wait to submit one.>>302678>>302705>>302726
Guys, I just hope whoever got my package finds it in their heart to return It to me. Based on the time I believe the package is either on my street or really close to it, too.
It wasn't an expensive item but still…
Did you report it as missing mail? Or request redelivery?
I've done this 2 weeks after the fact.
File: 1538300675504.jpeg (82.91 KB, 861x567, 35757E91-E467-4C9E-945C-345C52…)
I want to stop falling inlove, I hate these feelings. Why is loveydovey gay crap such temporary and short-lived happiness, then you get your heartbroken and its like a whole lifetime scar. I swear I’ll never ever love again.
Then it's not love and it's infatuation. It's obsession and hurts more when you're rejected. Pure love is happiness for the other person even if it's not with you.
Try to give yourself more realistic views of what relationships are and who the person is and what you two could bring to the table.
I feel like a really shitty person for this, but I think I'm starting to get kinda jealous of my boyfriend.
His career is starting to take off and he's getting a lot of recognition lately and I love it and I'm insanely proud of him because he's really good at what he does and he deserves everything & more, but I'm starting to feel kinda lost and insecure about where I am in life right now. We have different jobs but they're pretty similar and for him it was very hard to progress in his field while for me it was kinda settled since high school. Now he's doing really well and moving very fast while I've advanced very little.
The thing is if I really want to get further it takes a lot of hard work and I'm realizing it's not what I want to do with my life and don't have the energy or drive to try anymore. If I stay I'll always be depressed and tired.
But this is all I've known pretty much my entire life and I have no idea what else to do. I feel like with what I really love (music & fashion) the chances of making it are very slim, especially since I have pretty much no free time and my work schedule is all over the place, so if I really were to try I'd have to quit my job, but you can't really do anything without an income, and my city is crazy expensive. Plus if I were to quit at this point, I would never be able to get a respectable job in this field ever again, so I'd have to be 100% sure I'm done and have a plan B. College isn't an option since my school didn't really prepare me for it and I don't think there's anything that would interest me.
Basically my work right now is the only certain thing I have in my life, but already at 21 I feel like I'm done with it.
I'm not worried about my bf cheating or anything, we've been together for 7 years, since high school, and I completely trust him, I just don't want to end up just tagging along with him while he does all those amazing things and I'm doing nothing, I want us to be equals, if that makes sense. And most importantly I don't want to drag him down with my insecurities.
I haven't told him about it yet cause I have to sit and think about it a little more, but then we'll discuss it together.
oof end of vent
sorry for the blogpost
Anon, that's not selfish at all
. I can tell how abusive and manipulative your ex was just by reafing those words.
It's not selfish to break up a relationship where he was emotionally blackmailing you, draining you, making you miserable, stressing you out. It's normal and healthy and the right thing to do.
I am proud of you and I hope you are happy from now on, and if you find a new partner, I hope he treats you right.
I don't know anything about the term posthorror, but Hereditary is extremely light on the bodyhorror, gore and jumpscares. There are no jumpscares at all, and what little gore is there is very effective.
Nothing will scare me in Hereditary as the scene when the son wakes up in his room. Where a cheap horror movie would put a soundtrack or scare chord here, you yourself have to scan the background and find the thing to be afraid of, and that makes it much more effective imo.
Someone please explain. Google is giving nothing substantial, just bloggers with feelings about what’s horror and what’s posthorror. All post horror points can be attributed to most psychological horror.
I’m turning twenty soon and can’t help but feel like my life’s fading away and that I’ve wasted my time. I’m going back to finish up my studies at a uni I left a year ago under a new major. I felt super stressed under my first major and it was one reason out of many that led me to drop out in the first place. I won’t be starting over on a blank slate since I left with bad grades and will have to make them up.
Realistically, I’m aware that I still have time to develop a ton of skills and be a succssful adult… but I still feel like I’m behind and worthless. People my age around me have careers, skills, smarts whereas I don’t and just feel so inadequate. I wish there was a way for me to know for certain that I’ll be okay in the future, and could have a guidebook on exactly what steps I need to take to get there. I just feel so lost, delayed, and uneasy about what’s gonna happen to me.>>301371>Do I stay friends with this guy I still want to be with?
Sorry for the late response but my answer to you would be NO (for now). Break-ups are never easy regardless of the circumstances. Please do no-contact ASAP because time and distance are the most crucial factors in helping you move on from an ex (from personal experience). Trust me, you deserve more than to be left on standby.
Anyway, I hope you’ll be okay and am rooting for you to get out of this slump.
>>303201>didn't even want to have sex with them
You mean rape? He's jealous because you got raped?
If so, that's disgusting of him.
yeah, i was raped when i lost my virginity but stayed with him because he basically tried to use it to humiliate me and only stopped when i dated him and i was going through serious stuff with my family who were abusive, and i guess i trauma bonded to him and at a certain point, lived w him, and i guess the sex became kind of consensual, but not really, tbh, because i wouldn't have done any of it had the rape not happened. my so was initially very understanding of the situation when i first met him 6 years ago, but i think i've hurt him so much because of all my trauma and terrible coping and just acting like an emotionally unstable fuckface, that now he just uses stuff like this against me and resents me for it.
i guess he's not so much jealous of the rape, but the fact that i had sex with him after and had a relationship with him after. i was only 16-17 and am 24 now and i still feel like i have to pay for stuff i didn't choose and even if i did 'choose' them, a 16 year old trying to escape an abusive family by dating her rapist isn't much of a choice.
i never really acted like these things bothered me as much as they did, especially to him, and i tried very hard when i first met my SO like 6 years ago, to be an insufferable 'cool girl' that was ok with sex and everything, so i think it really tainted the way he sees me and i think he thinks none of it really affected me, too. i also think he thinks i'm lying about it now because i lied about other things because he's so autismal that i felt like he'd hate me if i told him the truth.
>>303207>but i think i've hurt him so much because of all my trauma and terrible coping and just acting like an emotionally unstable fuckface
You were raped. You were in a horrible situation. HE DOES NOT GET TO POLICE YOUR COPING WITH THAT. I am so angry at your bf, this is entirely unacceptable.>because i lied about other things because he's so autismal that i felt like he'd hate me if i told him the truth.
Tell him the truth. Sit him down, tell him everything. Seriously, sometimes white lies are okay, but if he'd sperg out once he knew the real you, without everything you've built up to basically appeal to him, he is not right for you. You deserve a) therapy for what you went through and b) someone who loves you the way you are. You are still young, and even if you weren't, you don't have to stay.
File: 1538385176352.jpg (46.91 KB, 711x716, 22046854_728849430646008_47312…)
I feel like I am going crazy because I kinda look less fat in the mirror, and sometimes my arms and legs seem thinner too… But when I go mesure it, it's the same? Is this normal? What is this madness?
thank you for your advice, anon, you're very sweet.
>HE DOES NOT GET TO POLICE YOUR COPING WITH THAT.
i know, but my only issue is that i've treated him so terribly because of the way i've been abused that i can understand now why he's being like this. he has always been jealous, but because i was cheated on by my rapist ex and grew up with my father whose life literally revolved around cheating and abusing women, including myself, that's all i saw from day 1, on top of the way women are treated as so disposable, i was constantly suspicious and paranoid and tried to make him jealous and paranoid like me, especially bc he'd try to get me emotionally attached, and when we dated years later, i did start to emotionally abuse him, too.
my terrible coping has affected him, and i treated him worse than other guys that i didn't even like because i knew other guys were just flirting with me to flirt and were just pieces of shit looking to score, whereas my SO, (who was just my friend at the time) was trying to get me to commit and move in with him, marry him, etc, at like, 18, and i felt like he was just fucking with my feelings to lead me on when he knew i was vulnerable and was still being abused by my family during that time, so i kind of resented him for trying to get me to risk my safety and put all of my effort and hope into some half-baked fantasy when he wouldn't even be there for me at the end of the day, and i just didn't treat him well as a result, so he's jealous that i treated other shittier guys better.
>Seriously, sometimes white lies are okay, but if he'd sperg out once he knew the real you, without everything you've built up to basically appeal to him, he is not right for you. You deserve a) therapy for what you went through and b) someone who loves you the way you are. You are still young, and even if you weren't, you don't have to stay.
it's more the opposite. he didn't really like who i was just being because i thought it'd appeal to men, but now he refuses to believe that i'm not that person because he has read my interactions with other men. like, his whole impression of me is fucked and he refuses to believe me even though i've tried for years now to show him who i really am.
you're right though. i don't think there's anything i can say to him. he just accuses me of lying about everything and doesn't listen to me, tries to catch me in lies, has no faith in me, etc. he gets angry at me and storms off when he thinks he has caught me in a lie, even if it's an accident or just me misremembering, etc. i'm sure he's going to leave me soon anyways. i'm keeping my distance mostly because i don't think there's anything i can do at this point. thank you again for your advice, anon.>>303216
yeah, i was. i hadn't been in a relationship since the rapist because of it and had 0 plans to be with anyone aside from flirting with guys i didn't even like. my SO begged me for years to date him and marry him despite me telling him repeatedly that i wasn't ready, now he thinks i'm terrible and manipulative, etc for having been a shitty mess. i'm not going to be with anyone after this and honestly have no interest in it.
But all these things happened 6 years in the past, no? It's not ideal, it's not great that you treated him like this, but 6 years is a long time to rebuild trust. If there is no trust in a relatioship, what is there really?
Are you living together? How long do you need to get everything ready for seperation? Better work on it now, you don't want to have to return to your parents.
Once everything is ready and you really want to do it, make a clean cut. Sit him down, break up with him properly, and remove yourself from his life. First so he knows it's over, and second so you won't get roped back into it, because you don't seem to be right for each other. You deserve someone who trusts you, and he deserves someone he feels he can trust. I'm sure it's very exhausting for him as well, even though it's idiotic.
I've been in a position similar to yours in terms of fucked in the head and poor coping skills, but after 6 years your bf needs to fucking stop acting like this. You're trying, he's being abusive by storming out and trying to always catch you in a lie.
He was pressuring you from the start, it sounds like he's the main issue here now.
Jesus christ anon, you need to be single until you've had enough therapy.
Your bf is an emotionally abusive piece of shit. If you've treated him badly too it's all the more reason to dump him.
I’ve been having really bad invasive thoughts about my childhood SA almost daily for the last year, and it’s at its worst whenever I have sex with my partner, making it pretty impossible for me to orgasm…or even want to be touched anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I want to but then once it’s happening I just can’t get out of my head.
I know I need to see a therapist soon but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to say the words out loud. I’ve never even written them before this.
I know this will sound wildly fucked up but I almost wish my abuser had been a man.
I feel like if people knew my abuser was a woman they’d think that’s the reason I’m gay or some shit like that, and I’ve even wondered to myself what if it is?
Like it seems pretty common for young boys who are SA’d by men to turn out gay, or have gay tendencies. Or even pedophelic ones.
I feel like I can never tell my girlfriend either or else that’s all she’ll be able to think about while we’re having sex, too….
I feel like I won’t be able to admit it to anyone or talk about it until my grandmother dies, I don’t ever want to have to face the confrontation. My family cut her off years ago anyway for other reasons (psycho narcisssist, to a t), but I’m still afraid they’d all look at me differently.
I just turned 25 so I don’t know why now would be the time for repressed memories to crop up for me, I’m going to google it after this actually to see if it’s common…they say this is about the time you stop developing, maybe the two coincide…
Sometimes I just don’t even know if what I experienced is really considered SA or not either…
Consider this a trigger warning and I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, but basically my grandmother hated my mom and my stepdad and consistently called dcf on her for years, eventually they patched things up and I’d spend the night over there sometimes, but then on one occasion she
I really can’t even type it and I guess I shouldn’t anyway but she basically tried to make it seem like my stepdad had been molesting me and said she “found marks” when she was applying rash cream to me but in reality she’d done it to me with her nails.
Mind you I was like 4 and not in diapers or anything anymore so anyone doing anything down there was completely unnecessary.
Her end goal was to receive sole custody of me, which obviously didn’t end up happening…she just caused suffering which was good enough I guess.
My head feels so foggy right now even thinking about it. I don’t even want to post this because I can’t explain properly and I just want to keep asking if anyone else experiences these feelings
And how the fuck to make them stop
I don’t need closure or an apology from her or justice or anything like that, I just want to be able to have a normal intimate life without feeling like I’m being clawed up inside by her disgusting nails and having it randomly pop into my head
It was only one incident 20 years ago and it never effected me before this I just can’t make any fucking sense of it
It feels unfair and stupid and Ive even tried to tell myself my mind made it up
I would do anything for a mindwipe
Xanax helped for many months but when I stopped taking it that’s when all of my repressed issues came forth 10 fold…
I don’t know…thanks if you’ve read this… I’m sorry for adding detail, I feel like it’s cringey and a faux pas when recounting past trauma and I also feel like nobody else should have to deal with the imagery of my own issues but I just really needed to write it somewhere and this is anonymous and maybe someone will know what I mean or have some sort of insight to deal with this I don’t know
Hey anon, I was also SA'd by a fellow female when I was a child. She was only a bit older than me, not an adult like your situation, but it was still traumatizing nonetheless. I can relate in the way the issues came back to haunt me only when I was well into adulthood. I can't experience sexual activities without my senses going crazy or being in an immense amount of pain.
I haven't figured out how to really deal with everything yet but I just wanted to let you know that you are very valid and no amount of time nor your attackers gender/family ties negates what you went through back then. You're not alone and I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Have you ever tried to talk to a therapist about this? I was against therapy myself until a couple years ago and even though it was very tough to start, I found that a huge weight was lifted off after I just got everything out. It didn't make it all better of course but I think it was a good first step. I'm still struggling but I feel getting that initial load off to someone that I knew had to keep my info confidential was important to personal self growth.
File: 1538419845050.jpeg (157.02 KB, 1200x886, D0A49816-B9DB-4B9C-9CF4-8A09FB…)
I don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve got a full time job, pay my rent and bills, and after that, I can’t afford anything else. I can’t buy makeup, clothes, hair care, home decor, even groceries. I’ve actually lost weight because most days I’ve got an empty fridge and can’t afford to eat anything. I’ve got a number of spiraling health issues that I’d love to see a doctor about but no health insurance and frankly no money to pay for anything if I was prescribed it. Honestly, for the first time in my life, I don’t want to die, but I don’t think I can actually afford to live. I want to believe better days will come but I’ve been in this hole for years and don’t see any way to make more money or better my situation. I want a nice house and to look put together at least, but as it is I have absolutely nothing to show for the work I put into being an adult and taking care of myself. Im getting old and most of my friends are married and have houses their parents paid for and kids and sit in their asses all day watching the Kardashian’s. It makes me so bitter and miserable that I’ve never and probably will never be above the poverty line.
I'm struggling in the same way anon, I can never afford anything nice unless I pay with credit. And now I've sunk myself into thousands in debt and can't pay it down due to the interest and now I have revolving credit. Like my score is still good but I'm fucking trapped.
Trapped in my debt.
Trapped in my job.
I'm just lucky I get paid vacation so for four weeks a year I can at least break routine by not going to work, but still too broke to do anything much interesting with the time.
I'm an absolute automaton for it.
Like I'm trying my best to apply for better jobs and whatnot but I'm finding out it doesn't happen overnight.
I have hurt feelings towards my friends whose boyfriends or husbands pay their way yet they still whine about not having as much money as they want or are bored because they sit at home all day. I can't even imagine what I'd do with that kind of spare time and even if I had an extra $100 a week to blow.
I want to scream. I don't want to die but I know I am just a cog working to make someone else rich at my expense. Meanwhile others get shit handed to them just because.
Anyway just wanted to say I relate.
File: 1538432348664.jpeg (59.82 KB, 1024x962, 49BBE10A-4351-4263-AEC3-8FC07B…)
I just read the whole animal rapist thread in /snow and I’m so god damn upset I started fucking crying. There’s so much evil and piss in this world it’s almost a relief to know that all of us are going to rot. My heart breaks knowing these innocent creatures suffered as they did.
File: 1538440246435.png (Spoiler Image, 3.37 MB, 520x8158, fuck this earth.png)
I usually have a high tolerance things but this has just like, pissed me off. Can you imagine men being advertised to like this? I pulled this from a blog so not pics I chosen but I made the mistake of visiting their page and they have a lot of ~feminist~ stuff inbetween images like the last one like if this was the type of "feminism" all those incels etc bitch about on youtube I would be agreeing with them, its shit.
File: 1538445781801.jpg (7.97 KB, 259x195, 1480287470581.jpg)
God anon I feel you so hard on this. Turning 23 this month and I'm not bad looking either just socially retarded around men so I've never had a guy ask me out unless we want to count the guy who asked me to prom as a joke back in highschool
I'm just so uncomfortable around men that I try not to engage them unless I have really have to. I'm so scared of being alone but I don't know how to act normal around men either? My whole family and friends think I'm les too kek
Thank you for this, anon. I have the same qualms about pursuing things I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid because of the whole spiel about things “coming naturally”.
I’d much rather work hard and not be good at something til I’m 40 than continue to sit around wishing I could create, too.
I hope your art continues to grow and you keep at it.
To be brutally honest I wanted someone out there to fap with my pics. An unexpected new low.
But dont worry, sanity came back
File: 1538456447911.jpg (89.1 KB, 500x402, 1502931037965.jpg)
You certainly aren't alone. Deep down I truly believe I was raped because the man who assaulted me knew full well I wanted to save my virginity for marriage (…I was young and raised Christian. I don't have the same values now but it really fucked me up at the time) but forced himself on me anyway. However I feel like unless you were raped in a super violent way people think you're lying or exaggerating so I too try to be the "perfect victim" and not bring it up unless a situation absolutely warrants it. Seeing all this metoo stuff feels like a slap in the face, even though I know that's not the intention.
Only people close to me know what went down with my assault. I was at my job one day and my (older, male) boss was talking with a customer about false rape allegations and he grabbed me by the shoulders and showed me off saying "See, Anon isn't like the other girls!!" and I know he meant it as I'm not a super vocal feminist but I just wanted to die in that moment. If by other girls you mean women who have been assaulted but not in the super cut-n-dry way then yes, I'm just like them.
Bet you ten bucks he’s the same guy in the self esteem thread saying shaygnar has stretched her labia to oblivion as if that’s how vaginas work.
Being that obtuse should disqualify people from voting.
File: 1538472591376.jpeg (41.66 KB, 500x500, C51933CD-F144-4452-BC83-67B857…)
File: 1538481145033.jpg (91.09 KB, 527x938, IMG_0277.JPG)
I found these texts five months ago and somehow convinced myself I needed to stay in love with this man. He drug my name through the dirt to his friends/family and blamed my depression for his infidelity. I casually checked his phone after finding it in a weird place, I called his mother who told me I must've done something wrong, he cried when I asked why he would do this to me. I attempted suicide and was held on involuntary inpatient for three days. Since then I have made tremendous improvement with new medication, a therapist who actually gives a shit, a job I don't despise, and have lost weight.
I don't make as much money as him but I'm the only one who cleans the house. He spends his nights on Xbox playing with his friends while I sit alone. We sleep on separate couches and not the same bed. We both depend on my car for transportation. I want to get out but I don't know how. I thought I needed him but I can't fucking stand him anymore. I don't have any family and no where else to go.
Thank you too!
Nothing can compare to the joy of creating something or doing something that you truly love.
People that say things like that just discourage you because they themselves didn't pursue their dreams, so they don't believe that it's possible to achieve them.
As corny as it sounds, do follow your heart. I constantly had that nagging feeling deep down but I kept trying to brush it off as a whim.
At least we can say that we don't have regrets or that we didn't try and persevere.
File: 1538490322719.png (142.36 KB, 500x282, raw.png)
>working on depressive thoughts, thinking I'm doing better
>have a little "relapse"
>"it's okay, it'll get better and better"
>friend says I've been doing bad for the last two years
dude, pull her aside and just ask. say you realized when you got home that you'd bled through your uniform, and if you were telling anyone else you'd be mortified.
it's happened to us all anon. she'll get it. and if she doesn't, it's not like she'd go out of her way to make it weird for you.
it could even be a relatable sort of ice breaker. dont be ashamed, you got this.
I'm about to get my period and it's fucking with my life at the moment so i'm sending extra love my buddy <3
File: 1538503123196.png (64.42 KB, 658x901, 34C656FE-DB44-4E85-8CD7-33D4C3…)
I hate college. Everyday I go to class and feel so uninterested in what I’m learning. I used to enjoy learning but now I don’t care at all. I feel like I wasn’t ready to decide what I wanted to do with my life when I got out of high school, and because everyone acts like community college is a joke I chose a 4 year college without really thinking about it. Now I’m stuck at a school in a major I don’t want to be in. I’m also in my third year so I feel pressured to stay where I am although I’m unhappy. Does anyone else feel this way? Have any anons here dropped out or took time off? Did you wait for the semester to be over? All of my friends are doing well in school and having fun, so I feel alone in my situation.
Finally someone who feels my pain. I wanted to talk about it with friends but the only one who bother with this shitty con is a cosplayer who just pays to hang out with other cosplayer friends, and a normie who thinks Deadpool is innovative, so I'm not too sure they would agree with me.
I checked another con that used to take place in my city but got moved to a bigger one, and since it's a yaoi con I don't think I'll go anymore. The guests and con goers are fakebois, enbies teenage girls or "transmen(he/him)" who look like butch lesbians at the very best. Since it's the kind of place where I could only go by myself I don't think I should bother spending time and money on yet another con that became awful.
Anon I was in a similar situation. I transferred after my freshman year and thought that would help but I still hated my new school, didn't give a fuck about classes at all and like you I used to love learning. So I took a year off after sophomore year and focused a lot on my mental health (idk if that's an issue for you, but I had been struggling with completely untreated anxiety and depression for almost all of my life and it kind of came to a head). It was really hard for me to take time off and live with my parents, I hate admitting "failure." Now I am back at school. I attend a significantly less prestigious school than the one I was at before but I am doing really well, have an internship and close relationships with many of the professors in my department. If you have the option to take time off, absolutely do it. It was really hard for me to decide to do but best decision I made.
In your situation, it might be beneficial to take just a semester off. You mentioned you're in your third year; to be honest I hated college up until this semester (my second to last) when I got closer relationships with my professors and started discussing career options. Before that I thought I hated my major but it turned out I just hated the classes I was taking for my major, there aren't really any specific concentrations here unfortunately. Tbh I wouldn't recommend changing your major altogether unless you can finish a different one without committing too much time (unless of course you're willing to do so), keep in mind your major will not completely limit you to what careers you can pursue. There is also always graduate school if you're willing and able to attend.
Sorry for the rambling mess haha, but TLDR take time off of school if you need it!
Today I was scheduled for some bullshit sales training at 1pm when my shift is always at 3pm. For no good reason whatsoever, our schedules are posted in military time so 1=1300 and 3=1500. It must've been I glanced over my schedule and saw the '3' and my brain just presumed business as usual. I've worked here for three years and schedule deviations for training are rare, so a lot of people are on autopilot including me.
I didn't realize my mistake until 2pm when I got into my car. I got to the office 45 minutes early hoping that the simple solution would be to take the training code off and revert to my normal shift, since I was more than on time for my actual shift. Reschedule the training to one of the numerous class slots left, and lesson learned, right?
Wrong. When workforce management finally scrounged up a supervisor on duty (he actually had to go to the floor and search for this bitch since she wasn't answering her pager for 30 minutes), she tells me "no."
"It wouldn't be fair to a person who missed their training at 9am to make an exception for you. We can take the training code off, but you get a report late point and you finish the shift as it was scheduled today."
I told her how that was not flexible and made no sense.
"Sorry it's contract."
So there's a little magical contract elf who breaks peoples' fingers for coding the shifts.
I almost let this woman cuck me into working after getting slapped on the wrist, but after I made it halfway to the floor I turned back and just told workforce to code an absence for a full point for the day and I left.
The kicker is that this training is for sales, despite me already being a top earner and having sales experience from previous jobs. I don't need a dumbshit vendor teaching me how to ask for a sale.
Last month, my shitty upstairs neighbors flooded my apartment so badly that firemen were called. I was out two days due to the cleanup damage and being unable to sleep due to industrial fans blowing in the place trying to dry out the water. My stuff was ruined and it was a lot of mental stress. The supervisor managed to show the higher ups the pictures of the damage and so graciously informed me that instead of two separate absence points, they were consolidating them to one, "for my trouble." Gee, I feel so human. Thank you my generous overlords for showing mercy but still giving me a good smack for something out of my control.
I might have been even more mentally off this week because I broke up with my long-term boyfriend and I've been packing my shit to move out this Saturday. Which will make my commute to this shitty job an hour instead of 15 minutes.
I gotta quit.
I'm tired of having to constantly make 'exceptions' to my time like being forced to work mandatory overtime when the company requires (or else), yet they're unwilling to accommodate for emergencies and simple mistakes when I come knocking at their door.
No wonder so many employees are going postal and killing people at their jobs. After this foolery I can see why people are going insane over these hitler-tier rules and shit pay.
I guess that's the way you phrased it then, it's not like I can check your results, obviously:>I'm 98.2% white (central European and British/Scottish), the other 1.8% being Italian/Greek (is this considered white?)
That kind of implies that people from the south of Europe aren't white, which they definitely are. I'm saying "you" but I'm not sure you're the same anon actually.
It really doesn’t though.
That’s like saying all black people are African or all Asian people are Chinese.There are subgroups in every race of people.
File: 1538517827891.jpg (43.54 KB, 480x480, a5xyfqlcngi01.jpg)
I'm sick of my mom yelling at me and calling me names all the time for little insignificant shit or her twisting around a story I'm telling her and blaming me for something I said/did in the story. It's been like this since I was 5 and she always harrassed me even as a child, calling me all sorts of inappropriate horrible things at a young age and telling me she wishes I was never born and calling me a mistake.
I bought a sweater for myself for this winter and as soon as she came home from work, her first reaction was to call me a stupid asshole for "spending thousands", which I don't mind you, it was just one fucking sweater. I'm in my 20s now, have my own job and always save my money and nearly never spend it. Why does it matter how I spend my money anyway when I'm the one working hard for it busting my ass at work? It doesn't even matter what it's about, she will just continue to berate me and blame me for her problems and that fucking hurts because out of all the people in the world, you'd think my mum would support and love me but she clearly doesn't. I hate myself.
I'm OP, >>304283
It's broken down better on the test itself, it doesn't say "White" just says Central European, British Isles, etc. I just simplified that to being white. The Italian/Greek seems to possibly encapsulate parts of N. Africa and Turkey as well. I know that modern Italian/Greeks are white just didn't know if having older heritage from there (no one in my immediate family is from the area) indicated Northern African or Turkish (which may be considered white, sorry I'm clueless) heritage, sorry to be confusing/oversimplify
File: 1538526398745.gif (656.71 KB, 256x192, 1B2A6304-2A71-4B8F-9516-DBE050…)
>discovers love rival
>offers blood to candle
>does some spooky magick
>”may her nasolabial folds become deep!”
File: 1538529785888.jpeg (58.39 KB, 500x377, 79F92E74-D437-4FE2-863E-FED34F…)
I’m rooting for you, anon. Casting a nasolabial-folding spell against her right now.
I am so sorry for what you went through, anon…
As you might know, hypersexuality is a common reaction to sexual abuse. This might not be your case though. Please remember there is no wrong way to feel about your trauma and everyone is different.
You can always try therapy if you would like to make sure you are processing the trauma fine…
Much love to you anon
Forget it unless you're a highly sought after specialist/have Swiss ancestry or a SO there. Especially so if you don't speak any local language fluently.
I'm an EU citizen, and the immigration process is much easier for us, but still a bitch. For non-EU, it's a complete nightmare (you would have to have an employer and a contract before you can even come, for instance). And it seems like the Swiss loathe any foreigners: I'm white, they usually assume I'm Swiss until we talk/they see my name and their attitude instantly changes. Rent ads do not shy away from writing "Swiss only", neither do job contracts. The only Swiss "friend" I managed to make at uni cut contact with me when I got better results than him because "I shouldn't have been allowed in first place".
I would like to go back to my home country, but it's poorer and I feel some sort of shame about considering that, because everyone believes Switzerland is heaven on earth. It does have a wonderful legal system and nature, but the Swiss are extremely xenophobic.
I have similar feelings. I was raped and restrained/knocked around about a month ago by a stranger and it was an awful experience of course, I cried and screamed, dealing with the police after was horrible, not being able to shower, having to go back to the scene of the crime, recount it, etc. I still have little flashbacks and paranoia, cry every now and then. But I’m more or less fine. I still go out and do things, drink, laugh, enjoy life for the most part, even like a couple days after it happened. Sometimes I wonder if I should like fake being more upset or traumatized by it, so people don’t think I’m lying about being raped because I’m too ”okay”
I can confirm this.
I'm from the Balkans and I had several friends with uni (STEM) degrees wanting to do their PhD or were even invited by a pharma/lab research there.
And all of them had troubles getting even a place to rent. My friend had to use her boyfriend's surname (he's Belgian though) to even get an interview with the landlord/landlady.
And all of my friends are white(inb4 slavs are not white), light hair, blue eyes etc. but they were all bitter and moved to places like UK or Germany for career advancement as soon as they saw an opportunity.
I get that people are wary of foreigners but at one point the person's achievements and skills should matter more.
They didn't tell me everything but from the little I heard, it sounded terrible, and Swiss people sound like obnoxious people.
I was actually surprised that it was that bad.
Yep, I'm surprised people don't talk about it more. For some reason people instead shit on the French for being "mean" to foreigners but my mom and I immigrated here when I was 5 (also from the Balkans) and people have been nothing but kind even though my mom spoke very limited French back then (and I knew none). Here nobody gives a fuck who you are as long as you follow the rules, which is fine by me. I never felt different from the others.
My family visited Zurich (and later that year also several cities in Germany) in 2012 and both the Swiss and German airport workers treated my mom like a dog as soon as they saw her surname. It was really creepy to see someone's attitude do a complete 180 in a second like that, but it's not my first time seeing it either. Funny thing is, in all of the "bad" countries we visited as tourists (pretty much all of Eastern Europe including Hungary, Turkey, Jordan, Morocco, South Africa) everyone was really nice to us (except Austrians, but even that was only one area and the rest of our stay was fine).
Well I'm not from the Balkans and people can't identify my origin when they look at my surname, noe can they guess my accent (I live in the French part and the guess is German 99% of the time) but that doesn't stop them. When my old flat burned down in summer, I went through absolute hell to get a new place and I'm glad I found anything because being homeless was very real.
So is it worth to just abandon Switzerland on account of how obnoxious and xenophobic people are and go back home for a poorer but more reasonable experience? I hate Switzerland but the little greedy voice in my head is telling me I'll be missing out if I leave.
File: 1538583688559.jpg (168.13 KB, 648x491, 3en3yw7yxv201.jpg)
I'm a friendless loser and the only person I talk to is my boyfriend. Whenever we can't talk because he's out with friends or playing games I feel very upset and lonely. I never tell him that because I don't want him to think I'm clingy and insane.
God I wish I had friends.
Holy shit anon, are you me? I'm also a foreigner in Switzerland doing law, and I understand exactly everything you're feeling right now. I'm also scared about being unemployable in other countries and having to be stuck here, and even worse, being unemployable in Switzerland because I don't speak German. It sucks because law is my dream.
I've lived in the italian part most of my childhood and even though I'm indistinguishable from them (and look white, and have a german name) I was never accepted either. I recently moved to the French part for university and it's scary seeing the swiss-italians who discriminated me in turn get discriminated by the swiss-french. They absolutely hate them and refuse to talk to them. It's the first time in my life I've made friends with a swiss-italian because they're so shunned I guess even someone like me is "good enough" now, because I speak their language.
This is all making me seriously reconsider if I want to stay in this country, and I haven't even lived the worst of the xenophobia to come yet with getting a job/a flat/etc. I wouldn't recommend to anyone to move here, being someone originally from a "friendly" country, it's very sad seeing how insular and alone swiss people are and how much they hate not only everyone else, but each other.
i became friends with someone online last year and she has to deal with emotional and verbal abuse + threats of physical abuse from her parents. She talks a lot about suicide and I’m trying my best to help her through it and support her because I’ve been through something similar and recovered but I’m always afraid it’s not going to be enough. I sent her resources local and online and advice to seek help from people who can actually help her situation too, but I don’t know if any of my words get through to her
I’m worried I’ll wake up one day or log on and I’ll see a suicide note four hours too late
I wish I could do something more but I don’t even know where she lives! Not even her real full name or city or school. I’m only a few years older than her but I live literally halfway across the world, and I don’t want to make things worse for her by somehow tipping off the police from another state and having her parents do something to her
I get so concerned about her wellbeing that it distracts me in my uni classes but I don’t know who else I could talk to because they don’t seem to care at all. I’m terrified I won’t be enough to help her. I know I’m not responsible for others lives and decisions, but I can’t help but worry constantly that I’m going to wake up and find out that she’s dead. I have a bunch of issues from coping in a shitty way growing up, and I hope so badly she’ll make it. The worst thing is that sometimes I think maybe it would be better for me to just disappear and try to forget about everyone just to avoid this crippling anxiety, but that’s such a selfish thought and it makes me feel like a terrible person. I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know if what I’m doing to try to help her will ever be enough, and I don’t even know if my words will mean anything to her. If something does happen, I know I’m just going to blame myself for not doing enough, even though I’ve done everything I can possibly do without risking her safety and with the small amount of info I do have of her… I don’t even know if she trusts me anymore because I said I would be willing to call emergency services/CPS for her once and she panicked. I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m just making this about me. I’m so worried about her all the time, and I’m not entirely sure if that’s healthy. It feels like we only truly reach out to each other when she feels suicidal. Sometimes it feels like I’m just a personal therapist, but maybe I brought that on myself.
I feel terrible. I wish things would work out so easily. I don’t know if I’m a terrible person for writing this. It feels like I can’t take care of myself because every time I do something seems to go wrong
thank you for the kind words, anon, I appreciate it a lot; it's kind of validating to hear you say it's not wrong for me to think of myself too in this situation. I guess I'm just worried that I'm the only one there for her, because she hasn't told anyone in real life about what's going on, so I'm afraid that if I distance myself, it'll be like her last support system abandoning her. I guess that's a little self-centered of me to assume that though lol.
But thank you again, really. I'll keep your words in mind going forward - I hope you're doing well yourself.
idk man, you're still the norm. I'm very tall and I just have a strange man bod which I got bullied for my entire childhood
no matter how skinny I got it was always super wide, boxy and "unfeminine".
Actually make it 99% shit. There's pedo posting. Also, it seems that a guy who is 48yo and grooming a 14yo is perfectly fine in their book because of muh age of consent.
I'm so done with that shit site.
You're absolutely right and that's what I'll do.
I just need to focus on work and self-improvement.
Thanks, anon for your response. It's my own fault anyway for going on that stupid site.
File: 1538667714020.jpeg (7.25 KB, 259x195, sad-birthday-cat.jpeg)
I'm feeling kind of bad because I'm spending my Birthday alone Saturday and no one I know, family mostly, seems to remember it.
I'm really thinking of getting a couple of tinder dates or maybe go to some lesbian bar around my area just in order to not be so fucking emotionally starved.
File: 1538668389445.png (625.91 KB, 661x636, 545.png)
we are n'sync anon.
I just told my boyfriend about it because I was too overwhelmed and welp, nothing changed. He said he would try and make an effort to talk more to me yet no change has been made. I'm not going to complain again because I already feel like shit for doing it.
AHS was never a “good” show (aside from seasons 2 and 6) but it was at least campy enough to be entertaining. I feel like Ryan Murphy has been running out of ideas since season 7, which explains the decline in quality.>>304991>Its got good concept but the editing is horrible
I feel like that’s the main problem with AHS and Ryan Murphy’s shows in general. Like he has good ideas, but always manages to fuck it up. Glee is another example of a good premise but horrible execution. Probably the main reason The People Vs. OJ was good was because it was based off of real life events, thus he couldn’t fuck it up with his hackery.
I hate AHS!! I really do. It's the Game of thrones of horror stories. Most of the stories are filled with loop holes and a lot of it is pure shock value. Asylum was especially bad when they had that rape scene with Sarah Paulson and Zachary Quinto's characters and everyone brushed it off.
The only semi decent season was Freakshow imo but every other one was a mess.
File: 1538677329221.jpg (53.93 KB, 793x786, 1526941118458.jpg)
Why do i have to be so ugly, why is my body so disgusting and why cant i change anything even tho i try
Why is my face so ugly and my genes so fucked.
Im at a point where im starting to resent my mother for giving birth to me, im bound to be alone, no one would love me bc of my looks, much less fuck me.
Its not even like i have an interesting personality.
Some girls are so blessed.
I think i was born to just be alone and do something cool like write a tight book or something.
I hate the mirror for lying to me and make me seem pretty WHEN ITS ALL A LIE MY PHONE CAMERA SHOWS ME THE TRUTH AND I HATE IT
i hate it so much
I should jusy become aromantic and asexual and not let anyone worry i might like them i hate myself so much
Sent you an email!>>305037
What's so wrong with your looks anon?
Anon it will be okay.
You said you like how you look on the mirror - do you know that a picture is a mirrored image of yourself so it's natural that it looks wrong (And usually worse) to you? You do NOT need to discard your reflection, the pretty things you see in there are what people see when they look at you also.
I know exactly how it feels to hate your physical appearance. I'm 24 and when I was 19 - 22 I went through a dark self hatred period. My face, my body, even my voice I would critique and insult internally allll the time. All I can say is that I have become more and more comfortable with my appearance with age. The longer you live your life the more you come to terms with thing you can't change, and that frees you to focus on what you like about yourself.
I just look so idk wrong?
Like i see a picture ans all i see is this blob, its terrible, even with make-up, idk what the fuck is up>>305054
But thats the thing i mean, i take selfies and they're not mirrored, so its basically what people see and theyre so ugly, i read someplace that the cam shows you how people see you but mirrors make you look prettier.
I honestly feel so defeated.
Thank you for being so nice tho, i hope i can get used to my looks or somehow fix myself and look better.
Its honestly depressing.
File: 1538680290337.jpg (65.63 KB, 800x450, 18kxy5bbtul32jpg.jpg)
just so you know, mirrors are objectively more accurate than phone cameras, which distort.
or rather, mirror is closest to what other people see when they look at you.
I have a love-hate relationship with you anon, i love you for being so sweet to me but i low-key hate the fact that im getting excited over this, being positive is so dangerous especially now because im meeting new people.
Wish me luck anon.
I love u
File: 1538682720259.jpg (63.21 KB, 1300x1300, image.jpg)
Anon honestly you need to get your shit together and stop worrying so much. First, your self worth does not amount to your appearance. You've got much more to show for personality-wise, and if you don't, then work on that. Get a hobby, do something you like, talk about hings you like, refine your tastes, read books idk. Go ahead and write that bomb ass book.
A lot of girls, me included, grow up thinking all they're worth for is their looks, which isn't true and is, in the end, a harmful mindset that only hurts you.
I know how it feels to think nobody will ever look at you because you're not model-tier, i know, but this is also a lie you conditioned yourself to. First of all, almost nobody looks model tier. Secondly, the prettiest models are ugly as shit to some people, because beauty is subjective and it's okay. 95% of the world have average looks and lead on their lives just fine.
Also, don't believe incels and their lookism or whatever. Attractiveness is actually very easy to archieve: Take care of yourself, have good hygiene, dress properly (but comfortably) and have and attractive personality. This is enough. People do get crushes on average people a lot more than you think, it's how you present yourself that counts.
Again, remember that your self worth is not your looks. While it's important to take care of yourself, never equate your self esteem to how nice you look. Sometimes you're gonna be a goblin couch potato and you'll still be as worthy as when you're all dolled up.
(Just a final thing, >>305064
is right. Cameras and lights distort your image and looking in a mirror is a more accurate way of knowing how you look. Pretty people also look ugly in badly timed or angled pictures. If you want good selfies learn your angles and practice them.)
File: 1538682949469.jpg (172.77 KB, 720x666, 20180915_162444.jpg)
School this year is going to demolish me. I'm in my last hs year but now everything has changed and I was never good to begin with. I hate that even if I study hard I won't do well because my bases are shakier. Just put me out of my misery
I'm not >>304712
this anon but I am in the exact situation. He has so many friends and he talks to them on discord every day. I try my best not to be jealous but I can't help it sometimes. I ask him to try to spend more time with me but really get mostly ignored. We moved to a city with a lot of hiking spots near by a couple months ago. I love hiking and have been wanting to go since we got here, I've brought it up and asked to go like every weekend. Nothing from him. I accidentally over hear him say on discord "you guys should come out here and we can rent a car and go hiking"
Ugh honey, you're so sweet.
It just feels so hard, no matter what i do. It's terrible. But i know it's a process, i hope.
I like this one guy and idk he seems to have such high standands.
But whatever, he's just a guy, i honestly need to just take care of myself for me. Thank you sweetie i love you>>305086
Thank you anon! It made me have a slight confidence boost, so i spent an autistic amount of time in front of the mirror.
Thank you girls, you made my day better♡
File: 1538692251293.jpg (46.81 KB, 540x534, tumblr_p2xoy25pL31x37orvo1_540…)
you deserve to feel good about how you look! looking in the mirror and feeling cute hurts no one and it's fun. is it vain? maybe, but life is too hard to deny yourself a little self indulgence sometimes.
I know it’s not easy but hang in there. I didn’t get a full time customer service job until I was 22 (Finding a customer service job if you had no experience was virtually impossible in 2008-2012, at least in my area). Just keep applying. You’ll find something. >>305090
I’m in a similar boat. I wouldn’t call myself an alcoholic but I would say that I have a drinking problem. It doesn’t help that alcoholism runs in my family (grandpa and dad we’re both alcoholics. Two of my uncles even died from it). I can still go to work and other functions just fine but when I get home, I decide to have a beer. One beer turns into 2. And 2 turns into four. And so forth. I think I used to hate my life a lot and drinking would numb the pain.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any resources on me but I would suggest taking one day at a time. Don’t make some grandiose plan on how you’re gonna quit or cut back on drink. Just not try to drink each day as it comes. You won’t always succeed but that okay. Out of this week so far, I’ve only had alcohol on Tuesday. You’re not alone, anon.
File: 1538713557478.gif (4.37 MB, 400x400, lo.gif)
I'm gonna be starting work soon and it will be customer facing and I'm nervous. I'm socially anxious and coming out of long Neetdom, so you can imagine the awkwardness. Plus this guy from middle school who tried to get in touch once a long time ago (and I ignored him kek) is a customer there so I might meet him eventually. Just thinking about it gets me feeling stressed. On the other hand, I've had a real panic episode before, and that was a primal, deathly fear. This is nothing compared to that, so I'm ok. I'm well enough I can function somewhat, just awkwardly. So I'm fine and it will be a good way to practice my social skills in a low stake situation, am just frustrated my body wants to dope me up with adrenaline instead of helping me learn charisma and shit.>>305139>I like this one guy and idk he seems to have such high standands.
But whatever, he's just a guy, i honestly need to just take care of myself for me.
Imo this is the best attitude you can have Anon. Do your best for yourself, but if you like the guy, give it a go. Also, keep in mind that other peoples' standards aren't objective measures of your worth either. Sometimes people who totally match each other's criteria just don't have that emotional click, and sometimes people who are totally different get on like a house on fire. So don't think of it like trying to measure up to the guy or other women, bcz that can be stressful, instead just see if you both get on well, like each other and want something more. It's not a competition, it's a recreational activity lol. So if it works out, great! And if it doesn't, no problem, cause there's a better match out there for you. Don't put guys on a pedestal. Even Brad Pitt clogged a toilet aftet a fat shit at least once lol.
What kind of weird job do you have where every single coworker is that obese with little exception? Some fetish house?
Secondly, why would anyone even care about your eating habits? Sounds like you already had a chip on your shoulder about the fatties there anyway. I find it hard to believe that you're a sweet person who was minding their own business and one day the fat nation showed up to burn your confidence and make fun of your eating. You sound like you might've been the mean one.
And maybe if you don't want to hear your friend's opinions about these fatties, then don't rant to her about them. What made you think she's morally obligated to read your mind and take your word about what happened? Your friend sounds empathetic and I'm sure you were absolutely on a tirade.
And you sound paranoid too.
I've been living with my grandmother since early this year due to health issues she's been having, and I can't help but feel stuck in a rut between it and the rest of my life. I want to be out on my own so I can adjust to living a normal adult life, but I don't want to leave her alone despite her telling me multiple times that I don't need to stay with her. I'm terrified that if I do move back out, she'll have an incident that sends her to the hospital or worse, but at the same time her condition has gotten worse while I've been here and I worry that she doesn't have much longer here.
It doesn't help that I feel to blame for part of the stress she deals with. Part of it comes from her constantly being in pain here recently, and we believe that pain came from a fall she took while at an event we went to because I suggested it. I thought she did well following it, she didn't need to go to the hospital at the time, but now that this pain has gotten as bad as it has, she can't get around like she used to and I don't want to leave her alone unless I know someone is here to keep her company and help her around. She hates being under the weather, she doesn't want to go to anymore appointments as she thinks they won't solve anything, and I feel so helpless as I'm limited in what I can do.
And the stress of this clashes with my job, which I've had for nearly 4 years now. As good as it pays for being food service, I get tired of dealing with the same shitty customers, same crappy procedures we have to do, and then every week there's someone bitching about what another employee has done or hasn't done or what should be done. My family wants me to get a better job, but I don't think I have a good enough resume to nab a better position and don't want to add more stress to what is already driving me up a wall.
Anon you should pretend to go vegan and start doing desk work outs every day just to trigger
not the og anon but honestly most workplaces that don't require a degree and aren't populated by teens/young adults have collectives like this. lots of 40 year old moms that peaked in high school and still retain the mentality, obvi if it's an anglo country and a poorer area they are quite often obese as well. if you don't get on their good side they will pick on you for whatever dumb shit.
to the anon: either formulate a plan how to get up their asses or just have fun and annoy them in whatever way you please, >>305375
anon's ideas are good. either way, just remember you have infinitely more potential than they ever will and so whatever they say doesn't matter.
So on top of being paranoid you're shit at reading comprehension too?
I didn't ever say you were "insensitive," I said you have a chip on your shoulder because you clearly think ebil fatties are out to get you. Your hate is probably so transparent that it came out in your attitude and actions towards them.
Because no, I don't believe for an instant coworkers would start being shitty towards you or care about what you eat unless you started some shit. And the fact that you think they're all gossiping whores adds to that.
And you're mad at your best friend because she didn't join in with your hate. Yeah, they may be immature but so are you. Grow up.
Fat insecure women are some of the most paranoid, victim-complex-having crazies out there.
If you don’t gorge in front of them you’re deliberately eating less to spite them.
If you eat a lot or eat something junky, you’re also doing it to spite them.
If you wear something that they dislike it’s to spite them.
If you have a conversation with someone they dislike its clearly only mocking the poor fat victim.
If you speak to people they like, you’re a cocky Bitch acting like you belong in “her space”
If you bring a gym bag or talk about exercise, it’s to shame them.
Nothing you do will be right because your existence offends these bitches so much they’re losing sleep at night. Their vanity and self-victimisation is deeper than the marianas trench.
File: 1538784522979.jpg (60.79 KB, 720x275, sadstory.jpg)
anon, I feel you. since I've told him things really went to shit, and I'm wondering now if he's doing this on purpose. yesterday I spent the night as his house and he played a game in the other room instead of talking to me. just feels like I'm the worst company ever. sometimes I think just being completely alone would hurt less than having no friends and being ignored by my bf. welp.
File: 1538797160579.jpeg (120.58 KB, 750x743, EDDBBAE0-6BC7-4C56-A2F4-32A07E…)
I’m a shitty driver. I keep spacing out behind the wheel and not realizing it. I’ll slip into a daydream or train of thought and completely lose track of what’s in front of me. I almost rear-ended two cars today. It’s only a matter of time before I seriously fuck up… I’m starting to think I might have some form of ADD, I’m not even hyper or anything though.
anon from >>304851
I mustered up the guts to tell my friend I’m taking a break from the chat messenger because it’s affecting me at school and my health. I think I’m literally worrying myself sick, and I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time. My friends tell me I’m doing the right thing by taking a break if I can’t handle it, but I’m still so terrified that I’ll wake up and find out she’s dead because I haven’t talked to her or something. I gave her my other contact info in case she wanted to reach me outside of that messenger app, but she hasn’t and I don’t know if she will. I keep relogging in and checking on messages and I think she’s having a bad day, and I’m so so scared I’m gonna let my guard down and relax and stop being so anxious for a week and then come back to news that she’s committed suicide, and that I played a part in it because I didn’t talk to her enough or something (which sounds to me really illogical but I can’t stop worrying about it)
I just want my brain to chill. I can’t take this. I’m seeing my therapist on Tuesday, but my thoughts are constantly paranoid that something will happen. I wish I wasn’t like this. I’m trying to listen to logic and the reasoning that I truly can’t control other people’s actions and that I’m not responsible for them, but my mind is so fixated on this one possibility that it’s impossible for me to let go. There’s always the thought that I should do something more, but I really don’t know what else I can do to help, especially when she’s not reaching out for help… I’m sick of listening to myself and I’m sick of being like this lmao
File: 1538863964798.gif (937.94 KB, 194x280, me.gif)
mfw when you sabotage a friendship due to self hatred and paranoia
mtf when you can't work on anything due to the guilt
justifiably, mfw people probably hate me a little more now because i come across as a selfish prick who ghosts people for fun
i'm to afraid to talk to her again i don't know what to do
it's been happening for months
i think it might be permanent this time
I think you're overreacting. Flattering someone on a first date isn't love bombing, it's trying to get in. If he says he wants commitment he could well be lying just to get some consistent action rather than a one nighter. As for the misdemeanors… depends what it is, but most guys are risk taking retards who break laws.
Anyway imo you're right that he's not trustworthy, but only in the way any new hookup is untrustworthy until you really know them. I don't see red flags for abuse in what anon said.
>>305928>most guys are risk taking retards who break laws
Misdemeanors still cover a lot of antisocial behavior which I wouldn’t say is normal. Plus, they’re on someone’s record for life unless they get a good lawyer to expunge them. I think any guy with any sense of responsibility is going to try avoid that. Getting one misdemeanor may be forgivable depending on the circumstance and if the guy learned his lesson but a record of multiple misdemeanors tends to be indicative of something seriously wrong such as a pathologically impulsive and self-destructive personality.
You’re right though that labeling the behavior as love bombing is a bit of a stretch. Guys will do whatever it takes to get laid like you said.
anon im happy that youre feeling more confident in yourself, but if you're already having doubts and second thoughts that isnt a good sign. not that you should trust someone after a first date, you shouldn't, but the criminal past and lack of drive/career are huge red flags for me.
i would say as long as youre firm in this being just fun sex, and don't get attached to him, then you're fine. don't tie your self esteem to him finding you attractive and treating you with affection. thats the bare minimum of what you deserve in a relationship, this guy isn't special for providing that, and you don't need him.
File: 1538896873728.png (131.43 KB, 528x321, FB542992-BE03-4A4F-A89A-047750…)
I was in a very similar situation last year before ending my relationship on new years. I lost all feeling and felt apathetic toward him despite him still having feelings.
It’s easier said than done, but just end it. If you’ve already acknowledged that the relationship is inevitably dying and that both of your romantic feelings for eachother are nullifying, then the relationship will inescapably end up dead in the future so it’s better to just get it over with.
You might think you made a huge mistake at first and idealize all the good times you’ve had, but, after time has passed and you’re able to look at the relationship objectively in retrospect, you’ll feel freed and realize it was for the best. That was my experience, at least.
>he's literally my only link to the outside world because I have no friends and live away from my family.
I relate to this so much. I still have no irl friends and am extremely isolated. Nevertheless, I don’t regret my decision to break up with him. Also, there’s nothing more exciting and invigorating than finding a new love interest who reciprocates your feelings. Find someone who makes you feel wanted.
I am almost 18 (legal age) and he is 19.
I always try but I kinda get back into that hole again.
I think you should really get your life together tho. That is really not a way of life, trust me.
You should get a hobby or something.
Anon I'm BR too and I'm really worried if he wins even though I'm not LGBT. Trump is a saint if compared to him and his sons. I went to vote today at morning and I was shocked at how many braindead, moronic and straight-up nazis supporters he got. Unlike me, my brothers and a cousin that hangs out with us, my parents are incredibly dumb, never bother to make their research and are easily manipulated by ANYONE or fake news so of course voted for him because of the IN THE NAME OF FAAAAMILY bullshit. They think gay people are disease, MILD homosexuality portrayed on soap operas is "the end of the times" and say that deserve to be wiped from the earth. I witnessed one of their super hateful and ignorant rants this week and I got so sick that I threw up thrice. What makes me sick is how what two men or women do inside 4 walls enrages them a lot more than disgusting sick shit like paedophilia. If this devil wins, imagine the chaos our country will become.
I'm sending you hugs and stay safe please!
File: 1538941183954.jpg (41.34 KB, 537x477, DH-PvWsUMAAy3jG.thumb.jpg.6dd1…)
So about an hour ago roommate texts me saying that she saw a cute DS XL for sale. I tell her I'm interested in it but don't expect anything. She later tells me she got it for me without asking and justifies that other people were eyeing it. Now she keeps reminding me that I owe her yet I didn't even ask.
Thanks anon, i will try and stay safe through this election. And yeah, Trump is NOTHING compared to this wannabe tropical Hitler. At least Trump is not saying military dictatorships are good and that he supports torture, or that the 64s dictators' mistake was just torturing rather than killing.
There are literally people with nazi party shirts in the streets and i just wonder how can someone be so retarded. (I want gringo anons to keep in mind that 80% of Brazil is mixed race, almost all of these nazis are pardos.) This is some galaxy brain shit.
Having a parent who is something of a celebrity (not anyone people here would know, but important in my country) makes me realize how much bullshit gets slung around by the masses. People talk about shit they know absolutely nothing about with a weird confidence that makes other, unknowing people believe them.
Stop falling for stupid "blind items". I know they're juicy, but 80% of the time, they're written by ex-friends and jilted lovers or family members with an axe to grind (which is why sometimes they have elements of truth mixed in), or just complete losers who should keep their stories on fanfiction.net where they belong. I found a few posts in a thread (on another site) about one of my parents, and I wanted to correct them because they were talking nonsense, but I couldn't. The posts were already months old. Plus, I knew jumping in with inside knowledge would essentially be doxxing myself, and it'd only bring more negative attention. It's frustrating. I can almost say I understand the Ostrengas and their constant need to samefag, WK themselves/each other, etc, but I know better than to actually try.
It's me again and I'm fucking sad looking at the tv and see the tropical hitler winning. If there is a second round, I'll make sure to vote the prisoner's puppy just to help with avoiding making the dictactorfag winning. I'm not very eccentric but I still was fucking scared today when I went out to vote, you never know when the braindead followers are carrying a loaded gun. When I came home two idiots were wearing a shirt with his face and holding the Brazil flag telling people to vote him, I'm done with this shit anon. For you who is a LGBT I'm sure it's a lot more terrifying, but I believe there will be another impeachment or at least he's NOT going to be on power for very long.
Hugs and take care
Thanks for the reply anon. It's not at the point where breaking up is the best thing to do yet but it seems to be getting there so I'm a bit resistant. When he gets home today I'll talk with him properly to see what he thinks. I hope I'm just feeling this way only because I don't understand his feelings. >>306014
I definitely understand and didn't think of it that way. I do want to say though, he doesn't know he's my only link because I don't make it seem that way. We don't hang out or do anything together that much so he's not really taking me into consideration or being dragged around. If anything, I don't have friends only BECAUSE I don't go out and am always wanting to draw/work/study. We work(ed) so well because we both just like being left alone. But I do appreciate your honesty and I really should work on myself. Maybe if I got out more and gained confidence I won't be so paranoid about our relationship.
File: 1538958531273.gif (448.23 KB, 400x174, MetallicCandidIcelandicsheepdo…)
>word is "assume"
>should be pronounced as əˈsoom
>people say "Ashooeme" for some reason
If you are an English native speaker that pronounces the word "assume" as "aSHOOme" you should go back to fucking pre-school.
I had to waste five minutes of my life searching if there was another crazy pronunciation of the word because dumb youtubers can't speak their own mother tongue.
Honestly my worst fear is that even if the dictatorfag (lmao) gets impeached we'll just get another military dictatorship. Hundreds dead or missing because fuckers think the way of solving the country's problems is through violence instead of THINKING ABOUT THE PROBLEMS LOGICALLY MAYBE. I fucking hate this country, it should sink into the ocean. It's full of dumb shits who think simple solutions for complex issues will solve anything.
I hate Lula but i'll vote for his servant too just to avoid being arrested and killed for being gay in public.
Nope, it's not the first native I hear saying it like that and they never have a lisp but somehow manage to fuck up that word.
I guess it must be a white thing, like in how black people can't pronounce "ask".
It's just a weird British pronunciation, like shedule for schedule
I also know people who do video related
God won't help you if you don't take control over your life and get out to a women's shelter or friend/family house.
You deserve to be safe,respected and treated well anon.
File: 1539039271253.png (840.16 KB, 1242x2208, 586A53C9-A3C9-49CE-839B-19CCEA…)
CAN someone tell me why white women keep doing this shit? Out of the 20 or so women that I asked personally at work, 11 out of the total suported Kavanaugh and 8 were white, 1 was asian and 2 were Hispanic.
So you're saying you believe Ford's spotty story and impeccable timing to sell it to the huff post?
For reference I'm a hispanic woman and I'm still in awe over this being a women vs men vs white women vs poc vs any other kind of identity politic issue. Maybe those white women foot soldiers just don't like destroying someone's life over bullshit claims.
I typed a lot of stuff but it was a bit too graphic, but in short I relate a lot to what you're saying although I didn't suffer any abuse.
As long as you're not thinking sexually of other children and not doing anything harmful it's fine Anon, don't beat yourself up. You recognize your fantasies are fucked up and that's already something.
I'm so sorry that happened to you anon what happened wasn't your fault. Suffering trauma such as invasive thoughts as a result of your childhood abuse isn't the same as being a pedophile, obviously there is a line you need to be self aware not to cross as an adult and it must be horrible being scared of that all the time but if you were that kind of cruel person then you would not be caused so much anxiety by these thoughts.
Can you access any kind of abuse/crisis counseling?
i think to be a pedophile means u need to be attracted to kids and ur fantasy is about your younger vulnerable body. some women have rape fantasies and it has to do with power balance like bdsm. imagining your younger self increases the power difference as your imagining yourself at your most vulnerable state
so dont feel guilty about it. the part about ur little brother is messed up, but it happens.
my older brother took advantage of me because an older guy took advantage of him. it sucks that our relationship will never be a normal sibling relationship ever again
File: 1539083323080.jpg (60.65 KB, 500x375, MikeMuir.jpg)
All I ever needed or wanted was someone to tell me what to do.
I'm not sure why what other people want was more important than what I want.
Thats why I work so rabidly at work. Nothing makes me more anxious, depressed, and angry that someone was not happy with me.
All I wanted was a guy that I could buy things for, cook food for, make his children for, to make happy. I would wear whatever he wanted. Go to his retarded ass parties. Hell, I would even meet his family for him even though I'm certain I would have a panic attack.
Too late did I learn that People, Men don't want subservience from me: they wanted a person. Someone who they could learn from. That could challenge them. That would make their lives richer by virtue, not by materials or service.
And now I have nothing. I am nothing. I'm a flat blob wasting one of the greatest opportunities anyone could ever have.
I love love so much I don't love anything else but what love got to do with it when you don't love yourself
>>306922>Too late did I learn that People, Men don't want subservience from me: they wanted a person. Someone who they could learn from. That could challenge them. That would make their lives richer by virtue, not by materials or service.
You must be new to lolcow, this is certainly not what most of the board thinks of men. Where did you get the idea men want a "person"?
The rich caring wife is the dream imo
She's coming over today and I don't really know what I should do, because I haven't had anyone over for a long, long time. What do people even do when they're on their own.
I hope I can make it a bit better for her. I will try to convince her to go to a doctor too. She needs therapy, it's kinda obvious.
I'm fighting scabies for like 1 month and a half now and I seem to be finally winning but I'm paranoid as hell that there's still something waiting to hatch under my skin and thinking about buying ivermectin again, but it's so expensive.
On the upper side at least my hair and skin are super shinny now, considering all the sulfur, special soap, clove oil, garlic and aloevera that I've been putting on myself.
>>306970> it's more like hysterical laughter.
Precisely. I wish there were some tricks or training to stop that. I genuinely felt sorry and angry that something like that happened to her yet my expression was anything but that.
While she was crying, I was laughing. It was such an absurd scene. The more she cried, the louder I laughed.
Feeling very frustrated about my low self esteem. I have been flirting with a new guy at work but my teen years as an ugly duckling mean that instead of being able to enjoy flirting, I am just projecting into the future where if I managed to somehow get into a romantic situation with the dude despite my face, he would be disgusted and ghost me if it became sexual because of my body.
I don't enjoy sex,etc because I have always felt like my body was designed to be as sexually repulsive as is possible and so I'm not meant to do it. In every sexual experience I've had, I have felt like I was playing a role and even if I have enjoyed it at the time, I feel disgusting afterwards because I'm embarrassed that I had the audacity to do it. Since I was much younger, I have thought about how much uglier I look when I'm smiling and how maybe that means that I'm not meant to be happy.
My life in general is actually going pretty well, and it's so frustrating that the way I feel about my appearance can't follow that. I hate how shallow I am and can't help but feel that all the strides I make in my career are really just attempts to make up for not being pretty enough. I can honestly say I would trade my dream job, which I have, for being attractive, so now even the fact that I've had some success doesn't feel how it should.
I really just want to accept myself and get rid of the bitterness I have towards more attractive women, and be able to have good relationships and maybe even enjoy sex! But I feel like my chubby teenage insecurity is haunting me and I can't get rid of it.
File: 1539146270395.jpg (22.18 KB, 500x375, 97c.jpg)
I'm starting to realize that my family is lowkey abusive.
I'm currently 27. I still live at home. I have social anxiety and depression, which makes me unable to form strong bonds with others, so in the past, I've depended on them for support. Now I know that deep down my family loves and cares about me but they can be off at times, to say at least. Especially when we get into arguments.
I came home from work today. I was pretty tired because I've been working a lot recently. Aunt asks me to take out the bins to the curb. I say sure but give me a minute because I need to go to the bathroom. Mom suddenly gets furious and storms out of the house to pull the bins herself. Apparently, I had an "attitude" (I did not). Then a shouting match between my mom and I occurs. I tell her that she had no right to act like that. She then accuses me of not doing anything around the house (Not true. Occasionally, I can be absent minded but I try to help out when I can and I don't mind being asked to do stuff). I tried talking to my aunt about and she said that I did have a bit of an attitude (Again, bullshit). Of fucking course she takes my mom side, even though my mom was acting like a crazy person.
I feel pathetic for still living at home. The few times that I attempted to move out, they ended up "convincing" me to come back home, which I did. My aunt makes bitchy comments that I can't live on my own from time to time even though I'm almost 30. I may not be the most mature 27 year old but I'm definitely not the most immature either.
Whenever we get into an argument, 98% of the time me vs. them. They always back each other up even when one of them acted like a complete jackass. I'm always the bad guy, no matter what. That's another thing, they love to bring up my flaws and how I fuck up a lot. Particularly my aunt (Even though my mom is a psycho bitch, she at least doesn't mind telling me that she's proud of me when she's in a good mood. So that's something at least).
I feel like a fucking loser. I wasted my 20s clinging onto to people who don't treat me well as they should because I was so scared of other people. I want to be independent but I'm so scared that everything is gonna fall apart and I'll be crawling back to them again. Even if they aren't truly abusive, I don't think it's healthy to be around them all the time and to depend on them. I feel like it's kinda stunted me in a way. I don't know what to do, honestly.
That's not "lowkey" abusive, that's completely normal. Your example about the trash thing sounds exactly the same like my sister and mom sometimes have. My mom asks her to do something and she says "in a second". Of course that's bound to piss her or your parents as well off. Only difference is you're in your late 20s, not 13…
Your aunt probably simply no longer want you to live at home, which is also kind of understandable. Maybe it's the same for your mom as well and she simply doesn't want to outright tell you and that's why she's so tense.
When I read your post, I thought it was something I wrote a year ago and forgot about it.
I had the exact same situation just without an aunt. I was basically walking on eggshells in order to not anger anyone. I would pay the rent and gave a bit for groceries and with my every attempt to move out, my parents would also convince me to stay. But then, on a weekly basis, something would trigger
my mother and she would start a fight.
She was looking for arguments despite being the most vocal against me moving. It could have been anything and most of the time, it was something done by someone else or even her.
I had enough, moved out and never looked back. Once you move out, it won't matter how old you were when you moved out, and in today's economy and depending on your country, it's not strange for young adults to still live with their parents.
I would call it sort of abuse. My parents, my mother in particular, knew I had social anxiety and kind of encouraged that. Then she would find the tiniest reason to threaten with throwing me out and so on. When things were good, they were great, but when she got in her foul mood, it was hell broke loose. It was extremely stressful and it made things worse for me and had a negative impact on my self-worth.
I'd advise you to move out but don't rush. Give yourself a few months to plan, manage your finances so that you won't have to ask your family for a thing or even worse, to move back in. Avoid making quick decisions but it's obvious that you can't keep living with someone that will stress you for trivial stuff. Especially with work, you ought to relax after spending all day somewhere else, and not have someone nag you to death.>>307398
It's only normal if you're a major cunt.
Jesus, he was so lucky to get away.
>he dislikes me as a person
makes sense, sounds like a reasonable/cool guy.
File: 1539188244651.jpg (278.05 KB, 1024x683, 108196892-1024x1024.jpg)
>>307472> On another note, I really despise all of humankind and it's causing me a bit of background stress today. I try to hate one group over another sometimes (misandry, boomer hate, rich people hate, even had a misogyny phase), but realistically every group is shitty. I just want everyone to die already.
Heh, never thought that I'd read a post that would resonate with me on such an intimate level. We were just never meant for this society, sis.
Also, I consider nature the only thing worth fighting for and think us humans are the biggest cancer.
r8 my edge
>>307531>Jesus, he was so lucky to get away.
Just cause anon is a misantrophist?
I guess my vent is that I am really tired of anons judging other anons by few sentences. Feels like so many people here are just waiting for an excuse to tear other people down. But taking into account how much there is of nitpicking looks of boring cows, I should not be surprised.
>>307475>just live in denial>>307531
Maybe. The dream would have been to financially support his artistic endeavours but I guess the cost of spending time with a reclusive pessimist outweighed the benefit.
He didn't seem to think of the things I often get caught up in much, at least from what I could tell from our conversation. I also didn't portray my intentions well.
Anyway I don't wish I'll on him; I hope he finds the positive and outgoing normie gf of his dreams. My ego just hurts and I'm feeling down about the situation I'm in romantically. In the grand scale, not just regarding him.>>307561
I agree with all of this. Loving animals more than people is a big meme but I feel like that often.
Although I would like a life partner (evidently) and I love my close friends, humans as a group are awful. We just ruin everything including each other. I hate hearing about the amount of infanticide, child abuse, and rape in the world but I also don't want to bury my head in the sand.
10/10 edge bc it's true
you straight up sound like an incel, stop acting like you're worth something to him simply because it suits your
perspective. he didn't like you. possibly for many reasons. but either way he didn't. just stop.>>307589
anon isn't a misanthrope she's a piece of shit.
This shit happened to me. My cat of 4 years now, had a stomach virus and wasn't eating. I called and told them something was up with her and they asked if I wanted to bring her back, hell no!
I just remember when I was looking at cats, the one I picked gently grabbed my ankle when I was there, and I felt something.
You saved your kitty, anon!
ntayrt but I am >>307531
You need to look at yourself and want to improve. Be reflective of who you are and your traits - what's good? bad etc? what do you desire in life?
And I was only an asshole because what you said makes me feel like you are probably
a toxic person. People who hate humans are usually self-important and project their negative attitude/heart. There are SO many people who are help that are struggling to save the environment, animals and their fellow human. And they're worth despising? Yes, humankind has many flaws and we are hurting the planet so badly. But we can also be kind and loving.
Anyways I bet you're not a piece of shit deep down, you just need to work on yourself. Also you didn't need this in a vent thread so sorry mate (that was dickhead-ish of me).
Thank you for your kindness. I admit to having some pretty selfish tendencies and I'm trying to change that. I used to be worse, and hopefully I can look back on my attitude now in a few years and say once again that I've changed.
And you're right, it is worth fighting to be one of the good people when so many are bad.
I also was honest in that I hold nothing against the guy, even if it came across as snarky and incel tier. I know I don't deserve
anyone and his choice was definitely best for him. Even if I had a lot more to offer than possible money, he's a person with free will. All men are, I'm not owed a boyfriend.
File: 1539202808438.gif (323.24 KB, 192x256, 1536668888391.gif)
I don't know if I should vent here because I'm going to talk about weeb shit but I was looking forward to the French edition of My lesbian experience with loneliness, which is pretty much an autobiography. I haven't read the scans yet. What I just saw is that:
>the first volume costs 18€ instead of the usual more or less 7€ so you'd expect some high quality but,
>the pages are reversed, the book is meant to be read the Occidental way so the art might be fucked up compared to the original
>the cover art is also mirrored
>the editors are exclusively calling it a graphic novel instead of a manga because the term manga still triggers some middle aged people who don't even care about them and the editors want to pander to pretentious assholes who think Jiro Taniguchi doesn't make manga but "bandes dessinées japonaises~~"
>the title is now a shitty pun about gender "solitude d'un autre genre" because the editors wanted to publish something related to the lgbTTTTTTTT so now people who don't know shit about manga will think it's not a filthy manga but a """Japanese graphic novel""" about transsexualism, as if that shit wasn't already shoved down our throats enough
>mfw the media are still pretending they're progressive while trying to erase the fact that the author herself and not a fictional character is a lesbian to the average readers and editors think customers are fucking idiots
>I was going to spend money on this disrespectful trash. 18 fucking euros.
File: 1539211055306.png (580.65 KB, 1128x720, 1538679903376.png)
Any way to deal with social anxiety?
I had that moment dwo days ago, where I was standing first in queue and then two teens went next to me and right after the woman that was buying.
Ofc I didn't say anything but looking at cashier, who was the one to say I was there first.
Even if I go eat alone outdoors, I feel anxious whenever there are too many people around me, like in my mind these groups of people may be thinking I am odd (?).
I am still thinking I am not good enough whenever I wear make-up, cute clothes, etc. That these people around me look and act much cooler and whenever I will interact with them, they will look down at me.
Sorry for being chaotic.
I worked customer service for four years and it cleared most of my self-consciousness. It just really shows you that most people don't really care about others, only fleetingly.
I can also approach strangers np now. But my conversational skills still lack, so it's not a cure all lmao.
Do you have a job? Or just a student? Or a NEET?
File: 1539239946598.jpg (10 KB, 300x250, superthumb.jpg)
I'm starting a relationship with a guy stupidly out of my league and I don't know how to handle the fear of losing him. I have no idea what he sees in me, I'm depressed and I have a bad temper, I'm a little good looking but I don't think it balances out my shit personality. I'm thinking he wants to date me because he pity me and has a savior complex? I can't accept he might legitimately like me, I keep thinking he's just desperate and want an easy lay.
I guess being bullied for 3/4 of primary school and picked on till the first class of highschool caused big part of it too.
It got better than it used to be few years ago, but I still have to gain more confidence.
I am a graphic design student, 3rd year.
I don't really feel it at my uni, but more when I go to the city centre or a shopping mall.
No offense anon but humans, particularly women, aren't meant to be polyamorous. Also, being poly isn't being queer- you've just been manipulated by a dudebro who wants two girlfriends.
This is what happens when you drink the Tumblr kool-aid. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for you, but you must be an idiot if you didn't expect this to happen.
File: 1539250128793.gif (1.25 MB, 195x229, 9a2.gif)
>>307807>The other night I told him how I was feeling and that I was struggling to adjust to everything. We all went to bed right after and she sucked him off while I just laid there next to them.
O-ok… Please love yourself, anon! Don't be in a relationship with a girl you don't like/feel attracted to just to please your bf! The girl is toxic and your bf is a loser. NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY! You don't even enjoy sleeping with her and her personality is even worse; and then there's your bf of "several years" who doesn't care about you at all and doesn't understand you. Who in their right mind gets a blowjob from someone else after his girlfriend opens up to him? ;_;
I really hope you are a troll. If so, good job because this post made me rage hard. You should absolutely ditch both of them or find a type of relationship that suits you better (e.g. having threesomes now and then to spice things up?!)
File: 1539253799770.png (63.59 KB, 624x628, goodbait.png)
>>307807>getting memed into being cucked
Fuck off robot, good try for a bait and I don't know why idiots here are falling for it.
No one is this fucking retarded.
Alright you sound really easy to push around which is not a good trait for someone participating in an alt sexual lifestyle. Polyamory should be treated like normal dating to an extent. Otherwise we end up with situations like this. In hindsight you should’ve gone out with her more one on one before agreeing to be in a relationship with her. Most people don’t get into a relationship immediately and then decide if they like the person. I can’t tell if you’re not communicating your boundaries clearly enough or if your boyfriend is a manipulative fuck (probably a bit of both).
You have a few options because as a adult with body autonomy you have the right to them!
1. Break up with her yourself and allow him to continue seeing the two of you separately
2. Break up with the both of them and find a relationship that will work better for you
3. Tell your boyfriend you have re-evaluated things and that you are not polyamorous (as polyamory exists on a spectrum like het to homo) if he doesn’t accept that and tries to manipulate you. Break up with him!
4.) Waste part of your life being in a situation you find uncomfortable until you either end up like lainybot or start mentally breaking down in some other way
A personality disorder ridden asshole wants to have the cake and eat it too while disguising his greedy mess as a "poly relationship"? Whoda thunkit!
No but seriously, get the fuck out now when it's still early and it won't scar you forever.
File: 1539290963445.png (98.25 KB, 527x668, tumblr_nknwa3Ygzs1ryyuyao1_540…)
>use dating apps
>get plenty of options due to being young, female, in-shape, and attractive
>too much of a shut-in nerd to appeal to the attractive, similarly-hot people who do interesting things.
>too good-looking for the other shut-in nerds, i either think they're not on my level or i intimidate them too much.
>never have any dates due to this, or when i do go on a date it never turns into a second one.
wish i was just some ugly girl with no standards sometimes.
This thread is for people with real problems, Becky.
you guys are either blackknighting or fucking insane, jesus. being good looking doesn't automatically equal a perfect life. you must not have a lot of life experience if you think that's all it is.>>308178
forget i even posted, y'all have issues beyond simple "vent threads". good god.
All you had to say was "The guys who are my types are out of my league and the guys who share my interest aren't my type."
Literally everybody would have understood and supported you if you just left it at that. If you're surprised this happened, you seriously need to get better at reading the room.
Because your post made you sound like a vapid dindermuffin. >wish I was an ugly girl with no standards
Lol, no you don't.
File: 1539304708552.jpg (17.9 KB, 380x383, gmdsc.jpg)
i used to rp with my gf in which she played a self insert. she actually wound up falling in love with my character and became obsessed with rping
broke up with her and im feeling absolutely disgusted
this went on for a long time. even when i kept expressing this obsession was starting to take a toll on my mental health, she pushed for rping anyways
it was not fun for me
no, you just sound like someone who probably isn't attractive and hasn't had guys abruptly stop talking to you because they're afraid of you.
of course you have desperate guys who hump your leg and are very obvious, but taking initiative scares the shit out of a lot of male nerds and plenty of them already have self-esteem issues. if you go to any place where this is discussed, both genders have this problem
stay bitter though i guess?
i'm that anon. i'm honestly shocked i'm getting accused of being a fucking robot just because i said i was in some weird middle-ground of being too good-looking for shutin nerds to want to approach, yet too much of a nerd for attractive people who like, have hobbies and do interesting things with their life.
it's like how skinny people are never allowed to complain about issues they have because oh no they must have it perfect since they're skinny.
>>308309>it's like how skinny people are never allowed to complain about issues they have because oh no they must have it perfect since they're skinny.
Do the skinny posters also top their vents off with comments like "Wish I were an obese girl sometimes"?
Because I can see why that would solicit the same eye rolling reaction.
It's not what you said, it's how you said it and the assumptions you inserted right along in it ie. Ugly girls can't ever have complicated dating problems.
You're making me feel less and less bad for you by how much you're trying to be the victim.
why are you even this mad over people thinking you might be a robot? you sound more socially retarded with every post you make.
and yes, it's weird to say "wish i was just some ugly girl with no standards". you're bragging/complaining about being the 'hot girl' nerds are too afraid of talking to, so you wish you could just be settled for like ugly girls are by these intimidated nerds, who actually desire hot girls like yourself? how is that an enviable position to be in? it doesn't make sense and is weirdly self-aggrandizing.>>308308>no, you just sound like someone who probably isn't attractive and hasn't had guys abruptly stop talking to you because they're afraid of you.
so you're denying that most nerdy males are very entitled and are just instead insisting that women who find that most nerdy males are entitled, are unattractive? you do realize that tons of anons here, even if that were the case, have had many nerdy male friends and observed their entitlement toward women they're interested in?
>of course you have desperate guys who hump your leg and are very obvious, but taking initiative scares the shit out of a lot of male nerds and plenty of them already have self-esteem issues. if you go to any place where this is discussed, both genders have this problem
again, there really are not enough to make these men in these subcultures to make them the face of 'nerdy guys' though. most of them are really, really entitled. most of them really don't even have self-esteem issues, they have huge egos and they generally think they're underappreciated. idk where you're meeting nerdy men where they aren't entitled.
>>308309>>308349>It's not what you said, it's how uou said it
This. Like I said before, "pretty nerd" anon's problem is a common one that's okay to vent about. What's not
okay is how they concluded their vent by downplaying other peoples' problems.
The "weh ugly girls are so lucky" crap is what made you look like an asshat. Numerous human behavior studies indicate that conventionally attractive individuals possess a number of advantages over everyone else (more likely to get promoted, more likely to get raises, more likely to get hired, etc).
I don't think it's about whether or not a guy is geeky- I think at least 60% of men overall can be entitled. We just notice it more with nerdy guys because they don't have as much social tact and will air the dirty laundry out in the open.
Also, you could argue that a lot of nerd girls are creepy and entitled, too, just in different ways. Fujoshi and Kpop fangirls are prime examples of that.
Basically, most human beings are assholes in some capacity, and men are slightly more likely to be the entitled variety of assholes than women are.
I don't get why everyone is so obsessed with romantic relationships. They're a lot of time and energy for something that statistically is going to end horribly anyway.
I'm so envious of people that had the opportunity to live rent-free.
Just for the record, I'm not angry at those that do, but I saw a post that mentioned it and realized that ever since I reached 18, I had to pay rent, utilities and food, plus care for my siblings. Prior to that, all the money that my cousins, grandparents etc. sent to me was confiscated by my father.
I live in the poorer part of europe, and here paying for rent in your parents home is not common, and almost everything I earned was spent on bills because the pay here is peanuts.
I just wish I had more time for myself and more time for self-improvement.
People can talk about situations like that making you a better stronger character but I don't think it does and neither does it matter. I just don't understand parents that make it more difficult for their children if it's obvious that the situation isn't stellar and it's outside of their control, i.e. job market.
p.s. fuck you dad, you have no idea how to the world works anymore you entitled piece of shit. You constantly talk how you are a self made men but I know for a fact that the only reason you have anything is thanks to my mom's side of family. You saw me struggling, juggling work and uni, barely getting 4 hours of sleep per day, taking care of kids which was YOUR job, and you didn't give a shit. Well, now I hope you're happy with all your saved money because I will piss on your grave. All of your kids hate you, you have no friends, you have no heart. You'll die alone and I hope that money was worth it, you cheap bastard.
File: 1539358262839.png (29.83 KB, 553x297, tumblr_p2l4lkBQNu1wiqmr1o1_640…)
My friend just reblogged pic related. It's captioned with "Not a single lie found…" and has over 15.000 notes. Why are people like this? How the fuck am I as a white person not supposed to take offense to that?
holy shit anon i feeeeel.
i went there a few weeks ago to see if some pics of me were up after a con. the first thread was some tranny bitching about how crossplay/brolita is offensive. like people doing it. and a bunch of other trannies circle jerking about it.
File: 1539359732684.jpeg (Spoiler Image, 28.01 KB, 616x498, 0F4720BE-7F69-4D99-B9E8-F7184C…)
When I was 18 and very fucked up, I met a guy who was 36 and we dated for 3 years. He was really into BDSM and age play but I rationalised a whole lot of shit - like that he’d seen child porn before, that he’d had sex with a 13 year old when he was 21, shit like him defending people on To Catch A Predator, to things like losing sexual attraction to me when I wanted to grow back pubes, having sex with me when I wasn’t im a right mind (straight after I self harmed), dragging me outside in the middle of the night and putting cold water on me because hurrrr BDSM and some extremely ugly shit anyone could tell I was lying through my teeth that I was actually into and was just doing it because I hated myself. This motherfucker put a knife to my neck on our first “date”. Anyway; I have been no contact for a year and I’ve made massive life changes and could not even fathom being that sad girl again but I got back in contact because I was very lonely and he’s always been a good listener lol.
He offloaded on me that he met an older woman and arranged a consensual non consensual rape scene in a park at night, where she was walking and he assaulted her. Apparently it went badly and she started crying and he did too etc etc and now he feels terrible about it. I used to sympathise with his victimised monster narrative but it shocks me that he told me a very similar story when we first met 4 years ago and how he’d never forgive himself for doing that. And now he’s done it again.
Something stupid in me thought because he regretted things he would never do them again but he clearly will and does.
There’s a lot more and I’m still in therapy haha; however I always wonder about outing him - he lives with his family who live in denial about his clear (to me) BPD and he has a circle of fucked up lefty friends that would be absolutely disgusted if they knew the things he’s done. Or even the police who have an ardorous and stressful process and may not even be able to charge after revisiting all my trauma. Fun. I also had my Dad break down and him saying to me that he failed as a father for not saving me from him.
I’m so frustrated about this sick fuck.
Side note, I have a great group of friends and a stable GPA now. It’s shit dragging all this around though. I plan to never contact him again.
nta but there's a lot of those "woke" types who unironically believe this kind of thing. and even some who will take it at face value.
poe's law at work.
He has a point though lmao
You're a white female in a 1st world country. You DID get a head start. But it is also entirely possible to blow it because of circumstances that are out of your hand.
File: 1539369602501.gif (918.45 KB, 500x375, 1526002713923.gif)
Is it wrong that I feel insecure over dating bisexual men?
It's not that I hate the idea of gay men in general, but it feels weird to me when I'm with a guy in a straight relationship and I imagine someone having had a dick up his ass or a cock in his mouth. Also it's a simple fact that gay anal sex carries a high risk for STDs.
I fear for my feelings because I feel like a dude being bi doubles his likelihood of being a cheater on the basis that he'd take whatever is tempted regardless of sex.
My last ex of 4 years came out as being bisexual, which I always figured because it seemed like he wasn't very romantic nor sexual to me before I broke it off. I was always the one taking the lead in the relationship (the real job, the car, the responsibilities) while he acted 50s "womanly" in many ways. In mentality only, not that he actually did housework or cooked ever. He wanted to pretend like he was the man while simultaneously acting like a needy helpless bitch who took me for granted, which is why he got dumped.
Fast forward: I've been seeing this new guy for two weeks who I admit is awesome in bed. He wants us to be going steady. Yet my gaydar is going off. He has pretty effeminate mannerisms, and has already admitted he has to fend off advances from his gay roommates/friends and was raped once.
Today we were talking about our sexual fetishes, and he mentioned how he likes giving anal/giving rimjobs/having his ass played with. Not too weird, I guess, until he mentioned how he wants to see me get fucked by one of his male friends but at the same time he might hate them later because of jealousy? He said he'd like to see a girlfriend fuck me too??? What?
You know I don't think of myself as a particularly masculine woman so idk why I'm attracting bisexual males. Is it just the vibe I give off? Like do I seem like the type of person who's open and not judge-y in that way? I just want a dominant, masculine male who rejects other men's penises and mouths.