File: 1705429736315.jpg (184.55 KB, 1053x1385, Help.jpg)
No. 1857155
File: 1705434213988.jpg (11.05 KB, 340x225, 1000009529.jpg)
>mfw my credit card keeps calling me to collect $600 cause I accidentally missed a payment but knowing this shit is made up so they will get the money when they get it and I aint gonna let them ruin my peace
No. 1857186
File: 1705435998838.png (73.46 KB, 399x404, Fy5uIIAXoAAfN1a.png)
i keep getting a strange sensation in my esophagus/throat every time i swallow food. it doesn't hurt and its just very mild discomfort but im still concerned. i dont have any other symptoms. this has been happening since last night and im worried its something actually serious. save me. im also burping a lot is this just acid reflux kek
No. 1857241
>>1857186Nah
nonnie that's acid reflux, I was feeling a burning sensation in my throat with constant burping for WEEKS, nothing happened, popped a pill and it went away. Don't eat til you're full, don't be retarded like me
No. 1857288
File: 1705440529440.png (160.36 KB, 450x443, 5de.png)
First lecture on the new uni course for this term, during the two-hour "lecture" the teacher spent 30 minutes of them introducing himself and talk about his ENTIRE WORK HISTORY (with a lot of "uuuhms" and sometimes he would just stop talking mid-sentence and stare out into the air, I almost started wondering if the simulation conspiracy theory might be correct after all) and then just sat there quietly while we were downloading and installing the giant software we are going to use ignoring the ones that had issues, which took another 30 minutes. After a ten minute break he finally told us a brief history of SQL, ended the lecture ten minutes early and gave us a 59 page document he wanted us to read until tomorrow. This is such a whiplash from our previous teachers that were super excited to teach and happy to help and tell us about the subject, so I don't have any high hopes for this one. At least it's easy to find information online so if he sucks I can just check youtube and hope Codecademy's courses are up to date.
No. 1857304
File: 1705441109791.jpeg (78.1 KB, 606x482, IMG_2848.jpeg)
My boss was looking to hire a graphic designer and I volunteered my friend because I know she’s been struggling to find freelance work and holy shit was this a mistake. We commissioned her back in November and she still doesn’t have a single design ready. Everything she shows us is just…ugly and no matter what we ask or suggest she just does it her own way. I’m embarrassed too because I was the one who recommended her but now I’m starting to realize why she’s unable to find steady employment. Not to mention she wants to charge my boss $600-$900 for all this and while I don’t want to cancel the commission it also just doesn’t feel worth it, and I’d feel guilty that my boss is gonna spend all that money on something that might be unusable. I value our friendship so much but I also just showed myself to be unreliable when it comes to future projects at work.
No. 1857372
File: 1705443214775.png (9.93 MB, 2694x2151, 1669895042572.png)
It seems a bit dumb and contradictory but I don't like the way my friends want to hang out with me and each other. They're fine with going out until very late sometimes and I'm not. They feel like we should spend several hours together after we do what we plan, like after going to the cinema or going to a restaurant, but going to bars to just chill and not spend as much money as in a restaurant isn't even something that crosses their mind because almost none of us drink alcohol but most bars serve good non alcoholic cocktails. They're never careful, sometimes they're inconsiderate and will be super late for no reason or will bother others.
For instance once, a bit more than a year ago we went to a restaurant because one of them lied about it being the last time we could see each other before moving back to her country because it turned out she got lazy later and decided to take the train to another city (which would bring her closer to the airport) the next week and not the next day. I ate my food, had fun, these idiots decided to stay nearly 2 more hours late at night in the restaurant for no reason at all despite me not fully recovering from surgery from a few weeks before and having to go back to work the next and their stupidity made it super easy for some piece of shit to assault me in the restaurant and steal my phone. Mind you, I arrived on time and they were super late so nobody was there but they saw the thief and his accomplish badly pretending to be a delivery guy for more than two hours and didn't think about being careful and telling anyone. I think ever since that happened I can't fully enjoy hanging out with my friends. I'm always on edge because their behavior attracts weirdos. I still resent them for that because I lost a lot of pictures, including pics of my now dead grandmother because I planned to buy an external hard drive the very next day and save the pics in it, and they barely apologized for that and the many, many times I missed public transport to go back home. Another time, more recently, one of them invited me and another friend to her place to celebrate the new year and I was the only one who had to go back to work right after the bank holiday but they insisted I stay as long as possible regardless, even after I told them. atp I enjoy talking to them way more online, from a distance.
No. 1857377
>>1857304you need to tell your friend
nonnie, for her own good.
No. 1857381
>>1857288I dropped a class with a professor like this and I had to register for a class with her this semester because my other course was canceled. The first/only day with her she just went on about her degree and it being her first teaching job as an adjunct and said cringey stuff like “all of you are so young I bet none of you have gone to any weddings yet” (highly doubt she was even over 30)…of course the homework is reading like 20-30 pages of academic journals in the day between each class.
>>1857304That sucks and it’s barely excusable anymore with all the stuff available to use now. Anyone can pop open canva or use ai or their phone
No. 1857389
File: 1705443837821.png (2.22 MB, 1920x1080, [Cleo]Space_Dandy_2nd_Season_-…)
Finally got my "YouTuber you like is bad" moment and I have never wanted to kill myself so badly. If God is real he's an incredible comedian because of course the person that made the videos that made me happy when I was first processing that I was sexually assaulted gets outed as a fucking creep chaser that tries to shove his fetish into every conversation.
I cannot fucking win.
No. 1857462
>>1857398Chuggaaconroy, very old (as in time he's done youtube, 10+ years) Lp'er who has had a squeaky clean record until now. Just sucks. His videos are so good and so my childhood and now it's just disgusting.
>>1857403He says in the leaked DM's that his gf is ok with it??? Talking feet with friends as long as it isn't sexual? Obviously in denial.
No. 1857535
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I had to call out from work two days in a row, and then my two day weekend was after that. I might have to call out again if the ice doesn't melt. I never thought I'd be so unhappy to have so much time off from work but I'm getting cabin fever, I actually miss my boss tf I'm going insane let me OUT OF THIS HOUSE AAAAGGGGGGGGGH
No. 1857668
File: 1705452370996.jpeg (24.39 KB, 636x636, 1622150620361.jpeg)
>mfw watching scrotes cry about how no one cares in the same area where scrotes are making fun of men who have killed themselves in shock videos
>Someone even made an FNF mod of the Mcnutt scrote who offed himself on camera at one point.
Men are a meme lmaoooo they literally dont give a fuck about eachother.
No. 1857785
This probably sounds super dumb, possibly a build up from doom scrolling about world issues but I stumbled across the account of an older man in my city thats seriously depressed and evidently having some massive issues. Has job listings, a house, friends etc but no live in family family to show.
It was on a dog friendly FB group for my city (events, trading vouchers for pet food etc) and this guys whole profile was his little Jack russel mix- his whole world by the looks of it. Well apparently it died on Christmas Day and some random user took it on themselves to photoshop a picture of it in the clouds with rainbows saying ‘join me daddy’ to encourage this guy to kill himself in the comments.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but just seeing it has absolutely broken me. I don’t know this guy, or his dog, but I’m sitting in my living room crying. Like I said, so much awful shit in the world/‘more important’ world issues. But this feels so close to home, so… ‘familiar’ that I cannot for the life of my understand why someone would use this guys best friend as ammunition to be a dick.
I’ve really lost faith in humanity. For every decent person, there’s 100 more that want to kick people down when they’re already struggling and I’m so sick of it.
No. 1857886
File: 1705461600575.gif (335.01 KB, 640x703, ouch.gif)
I'm just feeling so lonely recently. I wish I had a good friend to hang out and chat with, but I don't really have anyone in my life right now. I am in university and it makes me feel like such a loser that I'm in my third year and still haven't made a single friend, even though everyone says it's so easy to make connections at school. When I was applying, I was going to list "make a friend" as one of my goals, but got told that that was weird since making one (1) friend is like something you take for granted…
I talk to people, but I constantly feel like there's a barrier separating me from everyone else and I just don't seem to mesh with others in the same way. When I participate in clubs/groups it's like I'm intruding on a friend group and third wheeling them. I don't even have autism or anything so what gives?
I'm trying to keep trying and stay motivated, but sometimes I just want to have a friend already instead of pining after "one day I'll find someone!" Sometimes I just want someone who I can already trust to care about and like me, to hang out with, right now.
No. 1857911
>>1857901Well, I think if you had seen it just the mention of the word "lathe" would bring it back to you, tbh. But it was
a guy working with a very large industrial lathe, who got his arm or something caught up in it. In the fraction of a second after he initially got caught in the lathe, you can see his "oh shit" moment where he tries to save himself by, if I remember correctly, trying to climb to cling onto the pole (think like a sloth), but obviously at such high speeds he didn't stand a chance. Nearly instantly the lathe begins to spin his entire body at very high speeds around the axis, which bashed him repeatedly at lightning speed against the surrounding machine parts, until there was quite literally nothing left of him. It only took like 10 seconds from what i remember. Then a coworker walks into the scene and sees what happened, and puts his hands on his head in disbelieve and just repeats "oh my god, oh my god," over and over again while he stares at the pile of what used to be his coworker on the floor and in the lathe. No. 1857928
File: 1705464570289.jpg (227.89 KB, 949x678, 1618537272331.jpg)
>want to get rid of stuff because I plan to move out again soon and I don't use a lot of it anyway
>Can't do very much because I know my mom will want to go through everything in the bags and take stuff out to keep
I'm gonna have to be stealth but christ this is so annoying
No. 1857933
>>1857911Oh no that's real. I saw that loser plague moth cover it. I'm pretty sure it was the
Russian lathe accident. Just know that the google images pull up the aftermath so if you look for it be careful
No. 1857963
>>1857911I thought I saw something similar but based on
>>1857933 probably not the same one. The one I saw was Chinese, where
a factory worker got caught in a large machine with rollers and spun around really fast over and over. For me it wasn't really traumatizing because of gore but just because of how (inappropriate word but idk what else to use) almost cartoony it was, the way a living human got bashed around like a doll, something about that just felt really sick and morbid to me. It doesn't really haunt me but I feel sad thinking about it, I try to find solace in that the person likely didn't feel pain or fear for very long before getting knocked out and it sounds like hopefully the person in your video wouldn't have suffered for long either. I saw it because I am Chinese and someone was trying to be racist towards me No. 1858178
File: 1705471058631.jpg (Spoiler Image,2.69 MB, 3740x2545, IMG_20240117_005218.jpg)
Nigel brought back a serious stomach bug from his parents (who were convinced they were no longer sick but the bug was clearly there and I know they're not that clean people). Unfortunately this bug clearly stays in you after symptoms pass because now I have it a week after he got better. I don't remember ever having a flu this bad before. I've puked up nearly every bit of water I get and pass like a pound of poop every couple of hours. But on the flip side I can't stop giggling because I got hit with the shart curse which I'd laughed at a few months back. Hopefully I get better tomorrow though cause this is miserable. I'm keeping lemon water down a bit better at least now but it feels like glass in my stomach. Cat is being cute and supportive at least (spoiled since didn't want her on the front page but I don't have social media so should be safe to post).
No. 1858195
>>1858114>>1858128This sounds like an ultimatum to me. That's a really long time to date someone without being married,
especially to be long distance. I think he's frustrated with the relationship right now even if he does love you. I also wouldn't be surprised if he was seeing someone else and something in
that relationship hit some sort of
trigger point where he perceives it to be do-or-die with you, this is a last bid to see how things stand with you, either you say you want kids and move to be with him or you say you don't want kids, break up with him and he can move onto the girl he has lined up or is eying (if he isn't already with her).
No. 1858355
>>1858062They were thankfully and a few people (myself included) have been quick to reach out to this guy and offer support. Seems like he really loved his pooch, got it after being widowed too. Hope someone close to him IRL can be of more help
I just genuinely hate the world sometimes. Breaks my fucking heart.
No. 1858387
I suffer from CPTSD and I'm forced to move to the house where I went through the worst of my trauma. Anons, this will be my new "home", I literally cannot escape anymore, in two weeks or so, everything's happening so fast. How can I handle this? I fought for so long to forget, lost so many years of my life, I was a new person that defined herself beyond what happened to me. Now…what? This is like sabotage, I don't know what to do, it's like a cruel joke. I avoided that house for a decade, couldn't even step in, now I'll have to sleep there, eat there, live there. The place that broke me, I still remember everything like it was yesterday, I wasn't a person. I feel so hopeless, like something in me will actually disappear or snap, I don't want to revert to who I used to be even though that person will never come back. Everyone that lived there died already, the house allegedly renovated, but I still feel goosebumps and nausea even walking down the same area. For years, I had gruesome nightmares about that house, flashbacks, de-realizations, only way I could help myself was saying "you aren't there anymore", now I'll live in that damned house. This is a nightmare, it's over.
No. 1858432
Me and ny boyfriend had a date night and it was great. Until we're on the bus home and him, being absolutely plastered drunk starts punching and headbutting the back of an empty seat because he hates his job and hates that my job treats me better I guess.
He hates his job, and to be fair its a very shit job, however he doesnt look for or apply for a new one. I wrote his CV, I job hunt for him and I apply for jobs for him. I dont know why hes so resentful that I actually managed to get a decent job, because it took me about 3 months of non stop job hunting and interviewing and rejections.
On the walk home he then says he paid for everything tonight (he owes me money that we havent sorted yet) because I've not got any, and I said if he just wrote down the cost of the drinks for me that he did not want to pay for, then I can take it off of what he owes me.
Then he tells me he always owes me money for rent and its not fair, I asked if he thinks I'm scamming him, he does apparently. Basically I pay rent and then he pays me his portion of the rent minus half of any bills or shared expenses. His portion of the rent is not even half btw.
We get home and he tells me I'm a guest, I ask if Im a guest in our flat and he says yes so I'm pretty pissed. He's all muddy, I have no idea how he's managed that because im not. So I have to take off his grimey, muddy trousers and socks so he doesnt get the bed dirty.
Then I try to go for a piss before starting work, and there is vomit literally everywhere, vomit on a new roll of toilet paper, vomit on the toilet seat, vomit literally everywhere.
I could fucking kill him he is gonna have to work reaaal hard to remedy this cos I'm real close to saying well you've not paid me rent despite me being the guest so tell ya what, fuck off, get out or pay me £750 and I'll leave how about that
No. 1858436
The concept of teenagers was only invented in the early to mid 1900s and the thought of it is messing with my brain a bit. There wasn't any consideration for teens being a particularly bad period of a persons life either, it's making me wonder how much of teenage depression and such is man made from shit like the sexualization of teenage girls and the hyperfocus on mental health. We've seen now that putting counsellors in school and doing mental health checks on all the kids actually makes them all worse. Asking a person "are you ok mentally? Is anything wrong? Are you depressed?" actually just puts in in their brain that that's an "option" and then as soon as a tiny bad thing comes up they think "oh shit I'm clinically depressed and broken". When you ask what's wrong you put the idea in their head to look for flaws and wrong things. If you hadn't asked, they wouldn't have thought about it and would have been fine. It's a self-fulfulling prophecy.
There are about 100 year old articale from my country where 16-17 year old girls are expected to still play with dolls because they were seen as kids, something now expected for girls to have grown out of by the age of about 10. A teenage girl is seen as childish and odd if she plays with dolls.
Even here people somewhat mistakenly point to child marriage in history, but in reality that was extrememly uncommon (in my eurofag country), it was an exclusively royal/noble people thing to keep their alliances and bloodlines going. It wasn't actually normalized at all. And since we kept marriage records for hundreds of years we even factually know marriage wasn't at all common for teenagers (and fun fact women being older than their husband was more common than it is today).
People always say "studies show men prefer teenage girls over adult women hurrdurr" and shit like that but is that even real or was that a manmade phenomenon created by turning teenage girls into a sex symbol? We don't really have studies from before that happened, and at least outwardly adult men from before this time (again, from what's recorded in my country) expressed seeing teenage girls as immature uninteresting children. They could of course have lied, but as we've seen with troons it's SO easy to meme men into thinking even some retarded gross shit is sexy. Troons will wholeheartedly argue they are sexier than actual women, and they really truly think so. So why wouldn't people have been affected by the sudden outburst of "actually, teen girls are sexy" that came in the 1950s or so?
And then we have shit like kids now hitting puberty literally years earlier. Like did you know there are old all-boys choir songs that are now impossible to perform? Because historically boys would hit puberty around 17-18, when they were taller and bigger, their lung capacity and technical skill was more developed while their voices hadn't dropped yet. You'd have 17 year old boys with high voices and the body/skill to sing it while today for the same voice range you'd have to go to 12-13 year old boys who aren't physically capable of singing it because they're still too small. So those songs are kind of "lost" forever, they can't be performed as they were written anymore. Same for girls, puberty is now hit around age 9-12. 9! Not even double digits before she starts developing an adult body.
It's messing with me so much nonas, my head is spinning and there are a billion directions to go in.
No. 1858500
There's something morbidly hilarious about how many spaces regarding eating disorders will be filled with 'guys' who either explicitly state or you can figure out are TIFs, somehow not making the connection between the fact they hate their bodies so much is a disorder only when it comes to the weight aspect but somehow thinking they're a total dude is legit. Even when they don't state it in any way, it's obvious because there's no way that a disorder that skews so heavily female would have so many guys in its community. Even the memes they make scream they are women.
>>1858495God I hate that shit so much. Once people know everything you do becomes "oh is it because of the autism??"
No. 1858513
Winter is such an odd season. I would love to see people in the same frequency as usual but I'd rather just go to work and then sit at home reading with a cozy meal. My social battery drops to zero and I start doubting every facet of my life. I don't even dislike winter per se I just wish I could be a hermit for the entire time. I don't feel like I want to off myself or whatever I just feel so insecure, I want to stay inside.
>>1858495I feel you nonna. I've just stopped telling people I'm autistic aside from close friends, there's no use. People either baby or belittle you for it anyway, better off having them just assume that's my personality.
No. 1858518
>>1858511It may sound silly but try doing some breathing exercises. It'll help your heart rate go down which helps you feel calmer physically. I've been put under anesthesia a whole bunch of times and honestly you're asleep before you know it, and then you'll wake up. Try not to search things up if you were doing so, because remember that people will only mention if something happened but not if everything went as it should.
Good luck
nonnie, I hope the surgery overall will go well!
No. 1858519
>>1858500>Once people know everything you do becomes "oh is it because of the autism??"Exactly, and it drives me insane. People think they are being open and understanding but instead they are being insulting in the way that they rather see me as a walking diagnose instead of a person with interests and personality. I'm also very far out on the high-functioning end and always hated the actual limitations I experience due to it so it hits even harder.
>>1858513I typically don't say anything, if I need accommodations I usually say it's because I've been burnt out (which is true). But I've been "outed" by people I thought I could trust or had to out myself once because my manager was very against having his kid diagnosed, since the kid was struggling in school he obviously needed any support he could get I ended up talking to him about it to convince him since he considered me one of his most capable employees.
No. 1858524
>>1858511you'll be alright nonna! i had to have abdominal surgery years ago and i was absolutely terrified but everything went fine and now i'm glad i had it done. like
>>1858520 said take this opportunity to rest up and then come back to join us.
No. 1858543
File: 1705498691748.png (79.22 KB, 250x250, IMG_6597.png)
>Feel to nauseous to eat
>Start feeling more nauseous after not eating for a whole day
>Can’t even bring myself to think about putting any type of food in my mouth without vomiting
No. 1858567
File: 1705500851477.jpg (7.16 KB, 183x275, 8c813b71-9ee0-48fd-8d34-63e1a6…)
I'm stuck in a Whatsapp group I really want to get out of but I don't want to seem like a bitch. All they do is post about how hard it is to live in a first world country and woe is me. Fuck off you're doing fine. If they see this Joyce your alright. Also stop posting Ben Affleck shit, it's weird.
No. 1858603
File: 1705504162194.png (506.09 KB, 1022x618, CaEL2q8WwAA-gI5.png)
On a 3 hour quarter planning meeting. Everyone is using flowery language to promote their shit. All I could think was pic. I have to speak so I actually have to pay attention, jfc
No. 1858715
File: 1705509914976.jpg (45.55 KB, 500x500, artworks-yybfqKeAj5cElFrR-hc6D…)
Does anyone ever wake up feeling refreshed? I have been going to bed early, not drinking, exercising, taking melatonin and sleeping pills. Still though I wake up like the crypt keeper. If my bedrooms lights weren't set to flash with my alarm I think I would sleep forever. What's the secret? I want to know. A pint of cold brew coffee and a fag is the only thing to make me functional.
No. 1858742
>>1858715Preface with not an expert but one long sleep phase isn't natural. Before air conditioning people in Southern Europe used to do a 5-6 hour sleep during the night and an hour during the hottest part of the day. The bible mentioned that we had a period where people got up and prayed and fecked about during the the night. Our current 8 hour sleep cycle was born out of factory work and the industrial revolution.
During Covid with work from home I switched to 6 hours at night and 1 hour sleep at lunch and I felt amazing. They are bringing us back into the office now so I'm back to shitty sleep. Idk maybe I'm over thinking it and need some more potassium or something.
No. 1858749
>>1858742Yep, biphasic sleep has been natural for a lot of history. As a NEET I slowly regressed into a two part sleep schedule, one at night and one in the afternoon.
Also I’m not sure why but I personally feel most rested on 9-12 hours of sleep when I do sleep the full night, I wake up so relaxed and focused. 8 hours is ok but not as good and 6 hours is insane to me, I don’t know how people sleep on that amount.
No. 1858871
File: 1705515127815.gif (387.32 KB, 540x535, 12763eeed3ec93afe52f63a2fca248…)
I'm almost 30 years old and when I think back to how much time I've wasted being retarded and mentally ill I actually want to kill myself. I never learned to draw, never picked up any skills or hobbies, never been in a relationship, never went to school, never had a career, have almost no close friends. I feel like your 20s are for setting up the foundation for the rest of your life and I have absolutely nothing because I didn't think I'd make it this far. I just lived from day to day in a dream, and now I'm looking down the barrel of the gun on turning 30 and scared shitless.
No. 1858911
File: 1705516600333.jpg (481.7 KB, 1307x1484, Screenshot_20230105-224725_Fir…)
>>1858871honestly, if you are living in a first world country at least you are doing better than me
No. 1858915
File: 1705516779506.jpg (29.83 KB, 400x400, yU26JaCG_400x400.jpg)
I got my degree in October. Been applying everywhere but I got zero responses despite having done an internship. Marketing is a dumb shit degree. My dad says I can get a job at McDonalds or work with him as an apprentice electrician but something needs to be figured out come March. I don't hate the idea of working with my hands but I'm nervous about the "lad culture" on building sites. Any nonas have any experience?
No. 1858954
i feel terrible because i begged and whined for my mom to come see me in paris this january and her trip was awful. her flight from california to france was delayed due to the snowstorms in chicago. she got stuck in illinois for 2 days and managed to get here eventually by the absolute grace of god. we went out properly for one day of shopping and having a late lunch at eataly, then she woke up with a stomach ache due to anxiety from my grandfather terrorizing her back home. so we just walked around my neighborhood, got ubereats, and did a little more shopping due to sales. then on top of that she somehow hurt her ankle, literally woke up and couldn't walk on her right leg, so she was bedridden for the last 2 days of her trip. i got her coffee, lunch, and took a nap in her hotel room as my uni classes started this week and i have big gaps between classes this semester.
she left today, and her flight to denmark was delayed due to the shitty cold weather, so now she's stuck in a hotel in copenhagen cause scandinavian airlines cancelled all their flights for today. i know realistically it isn't my fault, but i still feel so guilty because if she hadn't come or we had gone to britain like i had originally asked, maybe her trip would have been better. i should go back to california, but i just hate going home as i don't really have a proper family and no friends back in the states. i just want my mom to get home safely and to never fly with scandi airlines ever again.
No. 1858982
File: 1705519790083.jpeg (545.82 KB, 1617x1287, F2dht-ubQAAOp14.jpeg)
Anyone with misophonia who is dealing with it effectively? It is genuinely ruining my life, I am not even exaggerating, well… maybe I am. But it really feels like it's taking over my life. I cannot talk to anyone, be with anyone. I feel like the number of triggers are growing. Every noise, every single noise puts me in this blind suicidal rage or sadness, I end up crying, hurting myself physically, I have scars on my face from hitting myself because I just cannot take it. I can't watch certain scenes in movies, songs, restaurants. The noise of kissing. I couldn't listen to lectures because of the sounds, fucked my GPA up. I can't listen to my boss or my coworkers. I am so snappy and isolated because of it. Noise-cancelling headphones have been effective, they're not a solution though… and I don't have them with me all the time and people find it rude, it's just a mess. I feel crazy, miserable and alone. The only person who understands is my mother because she has it too, so she can empathize. Anyone who got better? if you saw me posting this on the advice thread, no you didn't
No. 1859006
>>1858915I'm a qualified lady trady spark and I'll be honest the first few years really fucking suck. Constant misogyny, terrible working conditions and just regular shit. Half the men on the site are coked up. Unless you speak up you'll probably be put on traffic management. Keep at your boss to get you on real work. Once I qualified I only did local housing stuff like installing lights or fixing circuit breakers. I worked about 3 days a week.
One of the good things is once your qualified you can go anywhere. I've worked in Ireland, Australia, England and Germany and get really good money every time.
No. 1859027
Everyone I meet at work and out in the world seems to like me, people usually react nicely and positively to me wherever I go. But it doesn’t make me feel good, because the persona I put on for others is the exact opposite of my real personality. Outside I am:
>bubbly, smiley, laugh all the time, a good listener, very humble, quick to apologize for mistakes, hard working
But my true personality is:
>cynical, low energy, rarely laugh, don’t care about or want to converse with people, harsh critic, think I’m better than others, rarely apologize for hurting feelings, extremely lazy and unmotivated to do anything
So I know that no one would like who I really am. Even my parents who love me a lot say I’m difficult to be around. Since I am never being genuine with anyone I meet, I don’t have a single friend because my bonds with others stay attached at surface level to my fake facade and if I let it down it would shock them. I really don’t know what to do. I think I’m doomed to this miserable fake and empty life forever.
No. 1859088
>>1859027kek anon i am the same way in some sense. everyone is wearing a mask to some degree so don't beat yourself up, it's a survival tactic for most us. there are people walking around who act like they are all sweetness and light, but legit have murderous thoughts of revenge over even the smallest slights or are absolute walking shitstains who shouldn't even exist. then you have people who are fucking assholes in public but are genuinely kind and gentle on the inside. sometimes it's good to hide your real personality from the world, not everyone is your friend and if you can use it to your advantage, you might as well.
i think just so long as you aren't intentionally hurting anyone like playing with other's emotions, manipulating people for no reason other than your own pleasure, who really cares? people think i am am a ditzy girly girl that they can bully. i have baby pink accessories, spend way too much money on clothes, giggle and laugh a lot, then they mess with me and i turn into a full blown tiger and they realize they totally misjudged me. and the funny thing is, if they were really paying attention to the things i said, they would realize i am always dropping hints that i don't like people messing with me or giving me a hard time for no reason. but all they see is the pink and it goes right over their heads.
No. 1859162
>>1859129I'm in a similar boat, well, in a few different ways. I got afraid to contact people after something happened in my life. And I'm supposed to be speaking at a thing soon except I didn't contact the person when I was meant to, and I know they are going to let me do it in the end but why am I sabotaging my whole life? (there are worse things I have fucked up with my anxiety than this) This thing is all I have to look forward to rn and I'm so fucking retarded for being afraid but I'm shaking.
Anon, I am with you in spirit and the only way I can get through this is by reminding myself that I want to be better and do better, and this thing I did (or didn't do) is not indicative of how I am as a person. It's a symptom of stress. I know I just beat myself up above and believe me, there's much more serious shit I have fucked up, I'm just not mentioning it bc it's not immediately relevant and will stress me 1000% more to fix, but I do have hope that we can fix these things and recover from them and be even stronger. You're a valuable human being.
No. 1859173
File: 1705529568458.jpeg (43.57 KB, 500x281, 1701999095720.jpeg)
I'm 90% sure I fucked up the production deployment. I was supposed to have 2 senior people helping me with this but both of those people are OOO. I asked my useless boss to switch to someone else but he said this is a great chance to prove yourself. I'm convinced I fucked it up and I'm just waiting for QA or our partner that sounds like shittybank to say something. 2 hours ago I was crying but now I'm numb. Just drinking wine and smoking waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Who does this shit on a bitch who's 5 months out of college, fuck
No. 1859174
>>1858715med school anon here so I'm going to sperg about everyone's sleep
Anon, if you haven't been to the doctor in a few years, I'd recommend going to get various levels checked like TSH (thyroid), vitamin D, iron. Those things can make you ridiculously tired, and you can easily be deficient if you don't go outside much (no judgment) or if you don't take a multivitamin. I think it's worth a shot. Could also be sleep apnea or something, but they will probably rule out the more minor things first with a blood test.
>>1858604It sucks because anxiety screws up sleep, and screwed-up sleep worsens anxiety. I don't wanna push medicine on anyone but being on antidepressants for anxiety and depression changed my life. I hope you can talk to someone about it and look into different options. I don't think it's your fault sleeping has been hard.
If medicine isn't your thing, I hope you could try things like working out a few hours before bed, meditating, things like that. It might sound looney but they really can improve mental health if you aren't already doing those things.
No. 1859231
File: 1705533210407.jpg (39.35 KB, 564x423, 836b65e61d4fdcf7f27a7e2a27f3c5…)
My brain keeps telling me that I'm dying. I have nothing, I'm perfectly healthy but it's all mento illness. Despite knowing this, despite being on anti anxiety medication, my head still keeps spiraling. I hate it here!!!
No. 1859253
File: 1705534271508.png (387.02 KB, 1374x1344, Screenshot 2024-01-17 at 3.15.…)
Milk Bar, a dessert company that I enjoy, made a fucking delicious dessert called "Crack Pie". The joke is that it's so good, it's "like crack" because it's so addicting and tasty that you'll want to keep coming back for more.
Turns out they changed the name of Crack Pie to "Milk Bar Pie" now instead, because the name is apparently horrible and racist because "criminalization of crack cocaine possession and mandatory minimum sentencing specifically targeted and wreaked havoc on Black communities". Okay.
Then, they posted a second apology for "not acknowledging the insensitivity of the original name in their first statement" and that the name, as well as the first apology itself "came from a position of privilege" and promised that they'll "do better".
Like. I mean, I get it. It comes from a good place but who are these people actually complaining about this? I know it's just a stupid pie name but I'm finally at the point where I agree that comedy is dead these days. No, I don't want to give scrotes a free pass to be racist, sexist, etc. but it's retarded that we can't even make dark or slightly edgy jokes about drugs or death anymore. Dumb.
No. 1859264
>>1859253Isn't it more racist to think any reference to crack is targeting black people…? As if other races don't experience crack addiction? I ate plenty of christmas crack over the holidays (named for the same reason) and just thought of it as dark humour.
Anyway I feel bad for them being pressured into posting some pathetic grovelling apology. Just changing the name was more than sufficient.
No. 1859549
>>1859536Your apartment has its own furnace?
Anyways, restricting a detector's airflow can give a false positive. I've seen people set off multigas meters all the time with no actual gas present. Also you can doublecheck your smoke detector as they are often hybrid detectors that also do CO. Depending on where you live I don't even think the apartment owner couldn't have one and only rely on an external alarm on the furnace.
No. 1859554
I've been sick for over 10 years, my life basically stopped at my teen years. Got stuck, shut in this entire time, barely started working and it's as if the better I get, the more I'm making headway and finally working, trying to decide what to do for college and getting my life back on track. I just get more depressed, more angry, more meltdowns and more spiraling. I'm tired, I've holding on mentally by the grit of my teeth, no alcohol no drugs, no external coping mechanisms but I'm getting worse. I thought once I could finally start knowing it was like to have a life outside my bedroom I'd mentally start to feel okay, and now it's just worse. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired, I don't want to keep going. At all. I really fucking don't.
No. 1859562
File: 1705549528701.jpeg (80.99 KB, 900x675, IMG_7693.jpeg)
>>1859555>>1859536Judging by the way you’re repeating phrases I think you might have mild carbon monoxide poisoning, it can make people confused (kinda joking but for real go get some fresh air to be sure)
No. 1859575
>>1858387I would look into selling it or renting it out
In the meantime you can try some simple home redecorating so it looks different. A new coat of paint, wall hangings, room dividers, burn some incense, get a pet.
You could also try getting the house blessed depending on whatever faith you're of. Get a priest, imam etc, burn some sage.
No. 1859770
File: 1705572295667.jpg (44.27 KB, 563x549, bf2a1c93a799fbe0a5707c41f41c32…)
Someone armchair me for my retarded trait that I hate and want to work on. Whenever I get a crush on someone I obsess over them in private, I keep scrolling through their photos admiring them, I go above and beyond to be polite and encouraging to them, I daydream about our life together, I give them small gifts when it's appropriate etc but never really make my feelings that obvious. But whenever I find out they started dating someone else I become so bitter and jealous I'm immediately annoyed by their presence and turn passive aggressive and resentful towards them when they've done nothing wrong and it's my own fault for not properly approaching them. I hate being like this and I feel like the anger is mostly directed at myself for being so coy but the feeling of being irritated by being around them is still very real to me, I don't externalize it at them directly but it definitely makes me moody and disappointed.
No. 1859880
File: 1705584079689.jpg (8.72 KB, 269x275, 1679507625640.jpg)
>late 20s kissless virgin
>proud of muh virginity, think sex is such a huge life changing thing and that i should wait forever, yada yada
>hang out with guy i'm really into
>he puts his hand on my thigh
>get really turned on and kinda attack him because i've waited for way too fucking long
>we have sex and it's great
>we lay in bed holding hands after and he wants to keep dating
What a SCAM!!! They're SCAMMING virgin women into thinking sex is something it's not. Yes, the experience meant something to me, but it didn't change me at all. I feel the exact fucking same. It "changed my life" as much as a really good massage would, AKA not at all. Holy fuck imagine if I actually went through with waiting until marriage and the guy had a small dick or something. I was nearly SCAMMED! WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No. 1859914
File: 1705587605364.jpeg (106.48 KB, 1170x373, IMG_5142.jpeg)
I hate elective cosmetic/plastic surgery and all brain damage it’s caused. If you scroll this comment section, you’ll find that anything describing a woman’s face that hasn’t been poked, prodded, and pulled is “putting women with work done down”.
No. 1859927
File: 1705588727976.jpg (85.98 KB, 1200x1141, 1690582104419781.jpg)
>>1805956This anon coming back to report that i confessed to him, and told everything that happened. Wish me luck, nonnas.
No. 1859941
File: 1705590024976.jpeg (99.77 KB, 1170x311, IMG_5144.jpeg)
>>1859914They remind me of druggies that freak out when you say you don’t drink or do drugs. It’s a massive cope.
No. 1859998
File: 1705594796937.png (136.28 KB, 457x512, tumblr_mer6nfJYDQ1qzjqc2.png)
I'm
>>1857288 and holy fuck I'm about to go insane. Two hour lesson, again, where he goes through the absolute basics. And when I say basics, I mean
>"when you press this button that says start you see it now says stop" >"if you want to copy a text mark it like this and press ctrl and c" >"this text that says zero lines was sent means there were zero lines in the document">"the green checkmark you see is to indicate that the data was sent properly"Then he sends us a 77 page document he wants us to read about the actual subject, he doesn't even go through the document or talk about the content neither before or at the start of the next lesson, I can't even laugh at his random pauses anymore I just hit my head against the table. All he taught us IN TWO HOURS was how to make a table in mySQL and was a bit hesitant to teach us how to edit because he had planned to do it next week but when "what the hell, why not!" and did it anyway. All of this could have been taught in ten fucking minutes, this is fucking ridiculous. I'm glad they let us review teachers already after the first week and all of us went bananas with the complaints because we are so unhappy with this setup.
No. 1860011
File: 1705595917510.gif (11.17 MB, 498x498, 56a614261d423da1825452363174c6…)
"anon i don't get why you're annoyed, there's nothing to be mad about it wouldn't affect you anyway"
>was trying to go behind my back and bring her ugly moid home to stay overnight
>admits she knows i wouldn't like it
>only found out about this because i took tomorrow off work at the last minute otherwise she would've tried to hide it
a simple "nigel is going to come over after work on friday" would've sufficed. sure i wouldn't like it but i'd begrudgingly accept it. trying to be sneaky and hide it like i wouldn't hear them when they get home and am too retarded to notice a random pair of shoes that don't belong to us at the front door is what's pissing me off but she can't seem to grasp that at all despite me saying that multiple times. i pray for the day will finally come when i can afford to live alone so i don't have to deal with this bs
No. 1860053
File: 1705598303373.jpg (36.16 KB, 552x689, 749ce1bf414815f0e5b536b5acdfb6…)
>Living in the city
>Drinking, taking drugs and partying way too much
>Complete mess
>Move back to my village to right myself in early December
>Can't get drugs so I beat that, but my flat is two minutes away from a liquor store
>Promised to quit drinking after New Years
>Drank 15 days this year
>Mum called in randomly and found me passed out on the toilet
>Family knows I'm a pure degenerate now
>Doctor won't prescribe me naltrexone unless I do AA and I don't want to go near those religious fags
Not a real ending here. At least I've still got my job. I'm drinking a little less but who knows how long that will last. Maybe I should go live on a island somewhere with nothing on it until I can right myself idk.
No. 1860089
>>1860074Yeah drunks and poetry go hand in hand. I like Patrick Kavanagh and James Joyce. I write a little poetry myself sometimes. It's not good but I think I like doing it.
When I was in the city I went to therapy and they put me on medication. I didn't feel better but was just more functional. I felt like a robot.
I joined the local tennis club when I moved back and I just really didn't like it at all. I used to be crazy about tennis in my teens. It feels like my ability to like or be enthusiastic about things just went away after my 25th birthday. Stopping drinking wont fix that but at least I'm not using it as a crutch.
No. 1860175
>>1859720Update
I want to bash someone's head in and tear their skin off their face
I can distract myself all I want but my anger is potent
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU I AM NOT RELAPSING AGAIN FUCK YOU
No. 1860275
Anons with much younger siblings, how would you feel if they told you your parents were abusive towards them?
I'm 10 and 13 years younger than my siblings and both of them moved out at 18, so we haven't really grown up together. My sister moved to a different town and my brother was off doing his own stuff and while we are all mostly connected nowadays I'm still somewhat distanced from my siblings even if I know they would do anything to help me if I asked and I feel the same towards them (having mom screaming at me over the phone for an hour when I was 20 over that I don't rely on anyone of them and how selfish I am for it didn't quite help either). But mom would often compare me to them already in middle school, giving me shit for not being as good of a student as my sister, not being as charismatic and clever as my brother. She would also call me an accident, that I was worthless, dumb, fat, selfish, that nobody actually liked me, etc. so when I became a teen and mom became more unstable I started closing myself off more and would shut myself in my room as much as I could to get some peace, which my family still give me shit for 10+ years later but since I don't know how much my siblings know nor don't want to trigger my mom to spiral into mental illness again now that she's better I just shut my mouth. I know my siblings also had their issues with mom's temper growing up, which is why my sister left town, but I don't know if it was as bad as what I experienced and I don't know how to talk about it. I know I mentioned that she would call me fat all the time to my sister once and she looked appalled.
No. 1860298
File: 1705610480122.jpg (101.39 KB, 750x936, IMG-1.jpg)
I really want to become a state or national park ranger but I have no idea how to go about that, plus job openings seem so unstable. I would be able to pass the pack test no problem and would gladly take the challenges that come with the ranger academy but it seems so unlikely to be hired. I cant go back to office work nonnies, I hate being stuck inside and sitting around all day.
No. 1860302
>>1860262hi
nonnie…i have no advice for dealing with people like that, but for the anxiety perhaps. you may not like what i have to say because it takes some work, and even then, it does not work for everyone, but it has worked for me to a degree and i have very bad anxiety and stress issues.
limit caffeine, sleep well, do yoga or some sort of mindfulness activity, break things into small and realistic tasks. avoid nicotine because it makes anxiety worse.
im sorry you have probably heard it all before but if you cant remove the stress right now just remember its temporary and do your best to manage it. you are not superhuman. do what you can and need but no more than that. take care of yourself please
nonnie!
No. 1860305
>>1859720when i was little and first got diagnosed with cptsd, i was told that the rest of my life i will have to heal/it will be hard.
it was upsetting to hear at the time and felt quite harsh for a young girl to hear. but it was true, and 10 years later, albeit not a perfect person, i have improved a lot. you look back on the hard work with a smile and the view from the top of the mountain is lovely. you still have to hike, but its less uphill. its scenic and peaceful at times. sometimes tiring…gotta trudge through mud…etc.
but you can do this
nonnie. its true when they say take it one day at a time. each day you avoid the urge, the less strength the urge has. and if you relapse one day, try again tomorrow.
you either accept the addiction and embrace it, or accept that you wish to change it and do so.
you can do this. but understand it will take time!
No. 1860320
File: 1705612010396.jpg (214.68 KB, 1069x1049, 8bc.jpg)
On my period so I'm having a rough night with both anxiety and cramps, I don't wanna take my anxiety medication this late because I'm either gonna sleep half the day away or be a zombie until they're out of my system if I do and I don't have time for that.
No. 1860326
>>1860302Thank you so much nonna, your words really made me feel better and I needed them! This may not be a quick and easy fix but it sounds like a good way to not let stress affect you so much in the first place. I will try to implement all of these things so they become habits.
>>1860303These are all very good ideas nona, thank you! I've only listened Zelda OST a couple of times but I really liked it.
Thank you both nonnies!
♥ No. 1860334
File: 1705613393039.jpg (23.96 KB, 828x306, suck on that.jpg)
>>1860319I had a musty scrote blow that shit in my face one time, so fucking gross.
No. 1860348
File: 1705614164450.jpg (25.21 KB, 736x709, 1681424831974.jpg)
I'm trying to learn to crochet, this shit is so incredibly hard I'm going to comming sudoku with one of the hooks any minute now. All of the fuckers on short form videos who brag about learning in just few days or even hours can eat my ass!!
No. 1860359
>>1860343What a coincidence, I also got a bad haircut today. Tried making my bangs short and ended up looking like a she/they, cried for an hour.
Hang in there nonna, wishing your hair fast growth.
No. 1860392
This may be a local thing, but people at climbing gyms have the worst gym etiquette I have ever seen. Since climbing shoes aren't meant for walking around in, people use that as an excuse to walk around barefoot everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE: main area, locker rooms, bathrooms, while using exercise equipment like rowing machines, even the fucking parking lot. One time I saw a girl clambering around the power cage/safety racks as if she was on a jungle gym, getting her nasty bare feet all over the dip bars and other things. And don't even get me started on the general lack of spatial awareness, especially in the bouldering area. People walk right under overhanging walls while you're climbing like oblivious cattle and act like it's your fault when you almost fall on top of them. They'll cheer on experienced climbers who are just slowly warming up as if they're struggling, and tell their idiotic bros destroying their joints by thrashing around on the first move of a "hard" route for five minutes straight that they're SO SOLID, BRO. They utterly refuse to take turns and let other people try popular routes during peak hours. They'll claim benches with their waterbottles and jackets and camp out for hours doing benchxinfinity with five other guys. I can't wait for climbing to stop being popular because it's like neverending January 1st in here.
No. 1860396
>meet a sweet guy who loves doing acts of service for me, is funny, smart, likes my sense of humor and knows how to fix stuff around, unlike most late 20s/early 30s men
>he's also tall
>but he's balding
Nonnies I hate it, am I being shallow? Every time I look at him I think "if only he had more hair" kek. He already has that small almost bald spot on the back on his head and it bothers me every time I look at it. Balding is just something I can't overcome when it comes to physical attraction. I myself was diagnosed with AGA 3 years ago but I managed to fight it with topical minoxidil and also diet for insulin resistence (AGA is fueled by androgens which are fueled by insulin), diet and physical activity also helped me with managing PCOS naturally, without hormones. I know I was lucky, but it seems like many baldig guys don't even look into reasons of their balding, they just say "it's genetics" and call it a day. Hair is really important for me, not just for aestehic and attraction, but also because I battled so hard to save mine. I really want to gift him some 5% minox while his hair follicles are still alive but I don't want to offend him kek
No. 1860398
>>1860396oh
nonnie…i hope you are not considering letting him go just for his lack of hair? its ok to have preferences and i suppose if this will get in the way of things then yes, by all means leave him. maybe at some point you can convince him to allow you to help with the hair situation but dont depend on letting him allow you to change him.
No. 1860426
>>1860109>It felt like I woke up out of surgery and was immediately ushered home, but that’s fine. Unfortunately a lot of hospitals do that now, at least it allows for recovery in your own bed. I'm glad you didn't wake up during surgery and it all went well. I hope the recovery is good and easy too!
Maybe try some silicone patches on your scars if your doctor gives you the ok (I think how early they can be placed depends on the wound)? Getting those on as early as possible and a main thing of keeping the area super moisturized should help. Bio oil or a vitamin e oil can be used if it's available and you want to get fancy, but slathering it with vaseline or shea butter works too. My surgeons in the past have said just vaseline but I prefer shea butter with vaseline on top because the butter will add moisture and the vaseline locks it in. If you have stitches the vaseline also prevents them from over drying out which helps them fall out when it's good and makes it easier to remove the rest in a follow-up.
No. 1860428
>>1860413I take inositol (but only myo inositol. There's also d-chiro inositol and for some women it's the best to take them in a 40:1 ratio. But d-chiro inositol may increase testosterone which is often already elevated in women with PCOS. That's why it's important to do blood tests and your own research and consult with your doctor if you're still not sure. I only take myo insoitol). It's important to stick to diet for diabetes. Not only because androgens feed off insulin but also because insulin resistence is associated with poor blood circulation. Your hair feeds off your blood. Diet + mild excercise routine + scalp massages. Everything to improve blood circulation. It's good to reduce inflammation in your body in general. In my case, I not only cut out sugar but also gluten (I noticed with time that the inflammation in my scalp decreased. I also got rid of sinuses inflammation and that constant bloating I was struggling with). Focus on protein in food and heme iron in meat (mostly liver). I aslo drink spearmint tea for its anti-androgenic properties and I eat pumkin seeds. Supplement with D3 + K2.
I wash my hair every 2 days, with ketoconazole shampoo (nizoral) alternatively with natural bar shampoo. I apply rosemary water on my scalp and massage it in every day. Rosemary has anti-inflammatory properties. I use topical minoxidol every 2 days.
Of course, every case is different but in many women hair follicle miniaturization IS reversible and I've seen women with AGA and pcos who managed to grow their hair back after managing their insulin. But it takes time and work. I was often tired and angry for having to focus on all that shit but then I remembered that 3 years ago I already had small bald spot between my bangs and now it's gone, and I also have more hair on my temples than I had 1 year ago and then I don't regret anything kek. I never took any oral meds like hormones, spironolactone or finasteride.
No. 1860432
>>1860298I looked into it before and IMO not worth it. Most of it is seasonal work and you start applying for your next post the instant you start the one your own. Permanent positions are highly coveted and competitive.
You could look into becoming a Conservation Police Officer, though you are officially a cop by doing that.
No. 1860455
File: 1705625713449.jpg (547.77 KB, 1080x2400, Screenshot_2024-01-19-01-49-42…)
>>1860444>Where do you get your rosemary water?I just buy fresh rosemary, put a 3-4 springs in a boiling water for 15 minutes. Then just let it cool down and put it into a jar and keep it in the fridge. I put some in a spray bottle to use for my scalp and the rest I use to rinse my face. This way it's cheaper and you get a fresh product
You still should check your sex hormones. My gyno diagnosed me with pcos based on my ultrasound and blood test results. My periods were usually regular, well now they're regular thanks to inositol and lifestyle changes, but before that, I used to have a few regular periods in a row and then suddenly skip one etc. Having more stress than usual was enough to cause me to skip a period or delay it
But remember, your gyno will definitely want to put you on the pill. I didn't want to put up with the side effects and having my breasts checked every year because the pill increases your risk of breast cancer and I'm already at risk because my mom had it. If it's possible to manage it naturally, I won't put myself on hormones
No. 1860460
>>1860444Also, don't stress over it because cortisol is also linked to higher blood sugar kek. I know what it's like anon, after every shower I used to find a clump of hair that looked like an alien life form, I was even counting that hair and it used to be around 250. You can buy minoxidil even now and start using it, it's OTC so you don't need prescription, same with myo inositol, those two and rosemary water is the stuff you can just start right now, before getting to a doctor. It won't hurt you. Idk where you live so I don't know if you have to wait long for an appointment, but there's still something you can do even before seeing a doctor and you have some
agency over your body. Start making small lifestyle changes now.
No. 1860463
File: 1705626590479.jpg (88.65 KB, 800x800, Massaginghairbrush_scalpscrubb…)
>>1860444And also, get this guy, he's your friend
No. 1860522
File: 1705631274533.jpg (245.7 KB, 1024x871, emile m.jpg)
i want to go back to making music but i want to feel some purpose with doing so. it makes me really happy! but sometimes its hard to justify my happiness. i guess thats an issue i need to work on alone. when i was little, i loved to write sing and act. but i also liked being praised when i did well. but i also didnt like to show many people, either.
i just wonder if i can finish and produce something for myself and not just say fuck it just because i dont want other people hearing it. why not for me? why not do it because i can?
when i have some free time, anyway…
No. 1860537
I poured a bag of little cookies into a bowl for my boyfriend and I, and as I went upstairs to make a tea he ate every single cookie. How long does it take a kettle to boil? I am so unattracted to his ever-fattening ass at this point. Boring, fat fuck. Literally doubled his weight during our relationship. T-shirt in the pool ass motherfucker. Breaking the couch ass motherfucker. Big Homer Simpson ass dent in the bed motherfucker. I look like Olive Oyl so when we stand beside each other we look like the number ten. I fucking hate fatties, he doesn't even care. Dude's self esteem is zero now that he's fat, and instead of changing it he's just wallowing in it.
Unrelated but I also wish he had a normal family. His parents are like.. TV watching alcoholics with the dirtiest house in the world. They were more normal when we started dating but now the mom has blatant alzheimers and nobody cares enough to address it, so it's REALLY weird going over there.
I'm so mad I got like.. two tiny cookies. Teddy Grahams. Jesus christ I wish I could go back in time and just date him for a year when things were fun and sexy, not fat and boring. Stinky. I'm literally never dating again after this idc, I can't pick correctly. I want my mom to arrange a marriage for me and I'll never want for anything, she'd know what's best.
I don't want advice, I'll leave him when it's financially viable, yadda yadda.
No. 1860540
>>1860407Samefag. As an update to this, I just realized that not only did they
still not fix it this time around, they actually made the problem worse! Now my ceiling is leaking from two places instead of one. What the FUCK
No. 1860546
I don't want to go to work tomorrow, I want to stay home and fry my brain cells getting high as fuck on cold medicine, either that or break sobriety and get as drunk as I possibly can. Only thing stopping me is knowing that if I do I'll only be more disgusted with myself. Life sucks when your actions are unchangeable.
>>1860505I have this experience about once a year living in my town. Never really gets any better. Sending love, anon.
No. 1860565
>>1860537Nonna I am really sorry, but also
>T-shirt in the pool ass motherfucker. Breaking the couch ass motherfucker. Big Homer Simpson ass dent in the bed motherfucker. I look like Olive Oyl so when we stand beside each other we look like the number ten.is pure poetry
No. 1860654
File: 1705637204008.png (14.11 KB, 1751x122, Screenshot_15.png)
Don't know where this should go, LC seems to lack a general fandom salt thread, but whenever I see a scrote admit to enjoying yume content because it's essentially just hetero content I sigh. Why are fujos shat on for being deranged coomers all the time when yumes are literally feeding scrotes? Enjoy what you want of course, I enjoy scrote shit myself, but where's the yume cringe thread kek
No. 1860662
>>1860305Thank you lovely Nona I just saw this.
I hadn't relapsed in nearly 2 months and I blame myself. a
trigger edged me into cutting again and I blame myself for responding so clumsily, impulsively, angrily
I am a lot better than I was a few months ago, where I was completely miserable and falling apart. and I will be better tomorrow, and I will continue to be better even if I stumble. I write mantras in my journal about how things can and will hopefully get better between passages about my trauma and fears. It calms and it soothes, if only it were always easy to balance the positives and the negatives
No. 1860734
File: 1705640737105.jpg (59.85 KB, 1280x794, 1705442715856397.jpg)
What the fuck is "corpse goth"??? Oh wearing corpse paint is fucking trendy now?? I can see the 100+ screenshot plagiarism callout posts coming now. You're a ""mall goth"" for wearing a choker and listening to lil bo peep in 2024??? Wearing g-strings with half your ass out is "Y2K", making the skirt black makes it "alt"??? Defending literal prostitutes pretending to be part of our scene and selling ass pics to the men who objectify us??? I need to support old decrepit gay men naked in public every June because "Being alt means supporting everyone!"???
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SUBCULTURES YOU ZOOMER FUCKS. I AM ASHAMED TO BE GROUPED TOGETHER IN GEN-Z WITH YOU SHITTY GRIFTING LARPERS. YOU WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US.
No. 1860755
>>1860654I don't get the yume v. fujo thing cuz I like content from both communities. there's been males that have admitted to liking fujo stuff too, particularly the more degen or bara stuff (which isn't all made by gay men), but either ways a man admitting to liking either thing is extremely rare so I don't really understand your fixation on this.
>>1860735nonny, this is an anonymous IB, you don't know what user is doing what.
No. 1860777
File: 1705644520749.jpeg (69.27 KB, 600x600, IMG_1372.jpeg)
It’s been four years zero contact but today my narc ex messaged me on Snapchat. It was some corny monologue about missing me and “unanswered questions” while also oh so casually dropping he “has a wonderful woman” and they’re expecting - but he always imagined it would be me in the delivery room. A couple years ago before I deprogrammed I might be flattered, but now I’m just so grossed out. My life got 9000 times better in every conceivable way the literal moment I cut contact. I do not have a single fond memory of the time I spent brainwashed by him. Pretty sure this clown is still waiting tables, odds are still a junkie, definitely still an alcoholic, and he calls the mother of his child “his woman” while disrespecting her and her tremendous sacrifice of pregnancy and motherhood by messaging me trying to accomplish god knows what. He would send shit to his ex before me while we were together and it fucking crushed my whole entire soul to read those messages and he KNOWS that, god we fought about his ex for seven fucking years, so like WHY do you think I would participate in that conversation on the other side of it? He’s a narc and a manipulator, so he probably was trying to goad an any response from me - positive or negative, doesn’t matter, as long as he can get me talking he’ll be able to spin the conversation around. Knowing this I wanted to bin the messages without reading them but truth be told I was worried about my dog so I’m glad I read them so he could remind me what a fucking loser he is. No response! No reaction! Blocked! I’m brand new and you don’t get to know this me. Not a single fucking thing.
Won’t talk about this anywhere else because I won’t let him have the satisfaction of knowing that my jimmies were rustled. Putting this here and forgetting about it. Pray for “his woman” anons, God knows she’ll need it.
No. 1860835
File: 1705646830529.jpg (26.33 KB, 418x500, lmao.jpg)
>>1860777What a pathetic loser kek, how sad must his life be if he's in your dms trying to make you miss him when you broke up 4+ years ago and his wife is expecting. That's so fucking disrespectful towards both of you. Pathetic clown narc.
You did the right thing by completely ignoring him nona, as you said the only reason he sent you this dumb wall of text and casually adding that he has a "wonderful woman" by his side is just to rile you up and get any sort of reaction, ignoring such a message is the worst (and therefore the perfect) thing you can do to a narc.
As someone who has also dealt with such manipulations by an ex I want to tell you I am proud of you nonna. It is infuriating when idiots like this remind you of their existence but remember that you're the one living your best life and taking zero shit from him while he's so miserable that he's reaching out AFTER 4 YEARS KEK.
No. 1860979
File: 1705654461442.png (360.14 KB, 1000x686, IMG_5998.png)
When are we going to see men get killed, raped , and humiliated on screen? Seeing an anon’s review of “the poor things” makes me so annoyed that scrote directors make this shit of women but we never see it done to men. IM TIRED
No. 1861176
File: 1705682520523.png (1 MB, 780x1075, greasyvampire.png)
Washed my hair today while out of shampoo. Never again. I think my co-wash expired because now my head smells like cold clay and my hair is as stiff as it too. Gonna reorder more shampoo because apparently that's the only stuff that works for me and I can't go without it if I want my hair to be longer than a centimeter. Ugh. It's the new year so I really should just shave it all off but I've been too lazy to pull out my buzzer. Oh well. Guess I'll be rocking the greasy vampire hair slick today.
No. 1861203
Basically two years ago I was friends with this girl. She’d come up to me constantly and ask me to wait for her after work so she wouldn’t be alone and told me everything about her life, even her issues with her parents and some pretty traumatic stuff. She made it seem like we were very close. But she would always tell me things like, “We should go to X this Wednesday.” I’d adjust my schedule and get ready and then she would just ignore me. Which would drive me insane because why say anything at all even if you’re trying to be nice.
Now I admit I was unreasonable. I didn’t do or say anything, but I became super attached to her. I was very, very lonely and somewhat depressed, and I’ve never made a friend on my own before. I could go months without going out. The fact that she acted like she wanted to be my friend made me joyful, especially because for the entire year I’d been trying to open up and talk to new people, and put myself out there, but people would just keep it strictly polite or ignore me, so all attempts at being a normal person failed. I just felt so demoralized, and then there was this person who acted like they wanted to be my friend, and it was a revelation for me at the time. She’d tell me everything and complain about how other girls didn’t understand her like I did and how I was non-judgmental unlike her X work colleague. It’s dumb, but it made me pleased, because it seemed like I was finally getting the hang of this thing.
Then she pretty much ignored me. Would not respond to my texts. Would barely talk to me. And this wasn’t like previously, she just fully ignored me. And it kind of fucked with me because I was very lonely and depressed and mentally fragile at the time and it made me feel like there was something deeply wrong with me that I couldn’t point out. After all why’d she act super close and then ghost, you know? But here’s the thing. I saw her a month ago and then flew into my arms and kept talking about how much she’d missed me and how much she wants to hang out and she says to text her. I think she’s being legit and I text her, and she ignores me. Again. Then I say her a week after that and she does the same routine and it feels so genuine. Then I ask her what she’s doing here. And she says she wanted to hang out with X, the person she constantly complained about. And says to text her. I do. She ignores me. Again. Here’s the funny thing: I keep having dreams about her. I feel hurt and upset, yes, because having friends is very hard for me, but I don’t get why she wants to act close. It’s just hurtful and fucks with my brain because I can’t tell social cues. I know I’m dramatic but I’d be less so if I was casual about friendship. I just don’t understand why this matters to my brain.
No. 1861309
File: 1705694497077.png (37.84 KB, 275x272, 1704901171896.png)
kek I was frustrated over my mom making obsessive comments about my weight + "fat" body + eating habits turned out that I gained no weight over the holidays, but she just told me she did. well, I guess maybe seeing me eat twice as much as all the men at the thanksgiving gathering and binge sometimes like a cavewoman scarred her or something. I am the only person in a healthy BMI range in my entire family and yet I never make comments about their eating habits or whatever. I don't want to resent her, though I am frustrated at her making me feel more hyperaware of something that doesn't at all matter. also off-topic but I heard a random kid outside scream "PIKACHU!!" and I am shocked.
No. 1861320
>>1861316I think I had the same one. I won it as some small carnival. I used to sleep with it for years and was really sad when it started falling apart.
I like fat Pikachu more. Skinny Pikachu seems, I guess, too generically cute? Fat Pikachu feels jolly.
No. 1861354
>>1861343Any beloved childrens character with 'fat' added on is a risky image search.
>>1861349Fnaf too
No. 1861381
File: 1705698389050.jpg (66.88 KB, 723x1024, hoji-frog-white-signo-01.jpg)
I Just got out of the shower and I'm looking real fucking cute right now but my boyfriend is ignoring my advances while watching fucking cops on YouTube instead of fucking me.
No. 1861479
File: 1705703257695.png (78.84 KB, 938x249, lol.png)
This post is old but kiwis are so fucking annoying.
No. 1861533
I feel like that little girl nobody wanted again, that little frumpy girl nobody cared about and everyone discarded. I was so hurt, so unloved, today I experienced rejection again but it felt different, I don't know why I'm handling it so badly this time, like I'm actually feeling rage over people I didn't date or don't even know, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed, I'm really losing it again. Some kids were passing by, I think they were talking about me, usually they have good intentions, but today I felt like a little girl being bullied again which is stupid because I'm too grown for that, I don't know what's happening to me. Where's my self-esteem? I used to feel so powerful and unstoppable, now I feel like a fragile kid everyone can mess with, I don't feel pretty even though when I look in the mirror I know I am. Self-esteem is really like the fuel of the soul, without it, I feel like shit and everything triggers me. I feel like a fucking loser and it's eating me inside, I hate myself so much
No. 1861537
File: 1705707617035.jpg (350.23 KB, 2000x2000, 5407bd51041693feb9e125dcc31223…)
I got permanent remote work so I moved out to a cheap place near my family. It was great for the first few months but now some gang of teenage knacker scumlet scrotes moved in and their favourite sport is to run up and scream at people while recording it for Tiktok or whatever. My nice scenic walks are ruined. I got a lend of a German Shepard from my step dad but I shouldn't need him. I want to live in a place where I can have a gun or at least pepper spray. Fuck me I hate lawless useless youth.
No. 1861560
>>1861549Omg it reminded me of my ex
I feel like it's some passive aggressive crap in combination with apathy. You know better nona, but if you have bad feelings about it don't ignore them. People don't really change (especially men)
No. 1861561
I'm getting tired of this weirdo bitch in my fandom. She's specifically obsessed with this one LI/LI ship and no matter the topic of discussion, if it involves either one of them, she'll be there. And if it doesn't, she'll find a way to make it about them. I don't even know why the fuck she's even here, but her sperging ends up attracting/enabling all the other aidens, tifs, and they/thems of the fandom and their political views, talking down to everyone as if they aren't the fucking anomaly in said space and the only reason no one has told them to fuck off is because majority women fandoms are horrible at gatekeeping and too focused on "keeping the peace," which is why we find ourselves being shoved out of our own communities because these assholes have now flipped the narrative we created along with the handmaidens who enable them. Of course, she's also "nonbinary and asexual," yet self inserts as one of the male characters of her ship and constantly draws porn of them fucking. That, and she goes on essay long posts of how she thinks an otome game is suppose to cater to her ship while having this weird "lets all get along and make peace" attiude even though some of the responses she makes to others who counter her arguments are patronizing as hell. What's worse is that the fandom isn't very big, so no matter what website I go to, she has a profile there lol, which I've had to block numerous times. She once responded to one of my fics regarding the character she self inserts as and said that "I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but he would never behave that way." And it's like, yeah, it's why I put OOC in the tags! Why are you in my comments!?
No. 1861845
File: 1705729950311.jpg (Spoiler Image,367.97 KB, 1080x1349, Screenshot_20240120_163316_Ins…)
Can somebody please tell me where to even start with fixing my life? I am unemployed because my job was killing me. The uni program I enrolled in is not responding to my calls, emails and is being useless whenever I approach their desk in person. I have enough savings to pay for my rent and food for about a year but that's it. I can't commit to a new job without knowing my school schedule first, and these shitheads won't answer me about an ESL test they require me to take. This stupid place keeps asking for my documents, which I have brought in, and THEN NOTHING HAPPENS. They say 4 years of highschool in English and me working IN AN ENGLISH speaking country for nearly 10 years is not enough for proving that I can speak it. I can't start a job and I can't start studying and I can't sign up for a sport because I NEED TO SAVE MONEY.
No. 1861921
File: 1705735140398.jpg (422.3 KB, 1666x2048, 20231205_175410.jpg)
My husbando keeps getting passed over in every single promotional/marketing thing in favor of irrelevant waifu shit I am apoplectic with rage rn fr.
No. 1861950
>>1857785I posted this a few days ago and as if in some fucked up sympathy twist of fate I last night came very close to loosing my less than one year old puppy that was happy, playing with a friend and eating normally until early evening. Spent all night at the emergency vet, she’s home now and starting to come back to her friendly, bright self but fuck anons.
I have never been so scared. It was anaphylaxis but they didn’t know what caused it. Beyond glad she’s home and making a full recovery but I just hate to think of what would’ve happened if myself or my mum hadn’t been home. I know she’s ‘just a dog’ but getting her had been literally the only thing to make me happy last year so I’m terrified of it happening again
No. 1861951
>>1861845just start the job. losing money and not having it is not fun. Once you start school have them accommodate you or look for a new job once you get a schedule.
As for the trouble with the uni, talk to the registrar in person and keep track of their name and what they did for you or have an advisor escalate for you
No. 1861952
>>1861921I read this as
>My husband keeps getting passed over for every single promotion in favor of irrelevant wivesand I was so confused for a solid 10 seconds
No. 1862061
>>1861990congrats nona! you'll be so much happier without him.
>>1862004tends to be a month where a lot of people are ending their relationships so its possible that these guys are looking for a rebound fuck. obviously do what gives you pleasure but proceed with caution
No. 1862080
>>1862073>Are they Sims?Kek I hate when sims just randomly start doing push ups. I made one of my Sims active and it was such an obnoxious trait that I killed her. Like, why do you always have to be running or doing push ups and being a moody little bitch if you haven’t exercised in five minutes?? Sorry bout your neighbors,
nonnie. That’s annoying.
No. 1862172
File: 1705771023123.jpg (59.8 KB, 736x736, 7fb7cee746a3f25e206dcc6b54ef6d…)
I am so tired of this situationship shit these days. I don't expect to get into a relationship with someone after only knowing them for a couple of weeks but 9/10 they only want to fuck if they say "I just want to see where this goes". I've seen it happen with friends too. They'll see each other for months, go on vacations together and whatnot, just for the moid to finally come clean and say "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" or some other bullshit, even though it's clear that he just wants to look for other options. Fuck this, I'm out. I'm taking myself off the market. I'm doing really well with my job and uni, I am a good friend, daughter and sister and I sure as fuck won't entertain moids who feel lukewarm about me or just see me as a hole anymore. I wish them all receding hairlines in their 20's.
No. 1862288
>>1861066oh man that really sucks, its not shameful to feel sad for her and I hope everything turns out ok so she doesn't need the hysterectomy
>>1861151I hope you can move out and find peace. Once you have your own place you should adopt the most snuggly cat or dog at the animal shelter
No. 1862316
File: 1705782004290.png (189.14 KB, 460x528, 1704415819757412.png)
Why does lolcow feel more dead than ever now. Especially the threads I liked, nobody has been posting in them in weeks and others get only one post every 2-4 days.
No. 1862410
>>1862336Same. I only follow like two threads these days and occasionally scroll through /ot/ (like I was doing now) only to shut down the tab. So many of the threads I used to frequent have been ruined by aggressive spergery and infighting, I can't handle it anymore. It's not even debating in good faith, it's just treating the thread as their personal vent blog and getting irrationally angry at anyone who's not giving them unconditional ass pats.
I've been here since 2015 but I'm not even sure anymore if it's just me getting older and softer or if the site quality is going down, I guess it's both because reading up on old threads low quality posting did exist but anons weren't nearly as snappy and aggressive at each other. I think it's just a reflection of how the real world has become post culture wars and the pandemic, polarized and losing respect for other people. The racebait and homophobia in particular have been unbelievably out of control for the past year and it makes me really uncomfortable, and the tranny hate has lately been used as a convenient bridge to start sperging about muh progressives and sneaking in some conservative tradshit. I've dropped so many threads for becoming focused way more on complaining about "leftist liberals" than actually sharing milk.
>>1862353I feel like it's a mix of really young (i.e. under 22) girls from tiktok with repressed rage and stunted social skills and actual men enabling them with bait.
No. 1862455
>>1862411it's worse now, infighting might be ocurring in multiple threads at the same time.
>>1862410where are these younger users coming from? who is talking about lolcor on tiktok, i'm sick of this.
No. 1862463
File: 1705791726225.jpg (78.6 KB, 800x450, jimmies.jpg)
>>1862410>
I keep seeing sentiments like this even on 4chan and i am like really? You guys have very selective memories.
Literally the first thing that struck me when i first discovered this site was how mean it was and how quick were the nonnas to trigger into hostility. This was like seven years ago.
So my two cents are: Maybe you are just depressed and projecting your fatalistic outlook or you are simply getting old. Is not a jab, i am getting old too, we have to cope with it. Maybe the hustle and busstle of shitposting eventually takes a toll and one needs to retire to browsing nephew pictures and tweety bird memes on facebook with all the boomers when our time comes.
No. 1862524
Came out of the grocery store with my buggy. It’s cold and dark so no one was really still there except for a few people, mostly empty parking lot. I started putting my groceries away and then I heard angry/upset screaming coming from the other side of the parking lot, obviously a woman’s voice. I looked over and I could see a woman/girl sitting on the sidewalk, screaming at whoever was in the still running car parked beside her. I didn’t know what to do or what was going on, so I put my groceries in my car and told myself if it was still happening when I took the buggy back inside and came back out that I would go check on her.
So I go inside, come back out, the screaming has only gotten louder. And I’m standing by my car for a few seconds just trying to get my nerve up to go to her. Can’t see who is in the car at all, and whoever it is has turned their headlights off now too. So I get in my car, lock the door, roll down my window about halfway, and drive over to where she is. She calls me a dumb bitch and tells me to stop gawking. I try to tell her that I’m just checking on her and making sure she’s okay, but then she just starts screaming that I’m racist and I’m so confused because we’re both white women. Then I see the person in the car is a black guy, so I’m assuming that’s her boyfriend she’s arguing with and that’s why she’s now screaming at me calling me a racist bitch. She started throwing shit at my car before I could even drive away.
No. 1862597
>>1862527Sometimes I worry that people will be too afraid to help women in genuinely
abusive scenarios for fear of being accused of something.
There was a case near where I live where a cop got blasted to hell and back because he restrained a man and that guy later went online to cry that it was unprovoked racism, but then weeks later footage came out and it turns out the guy was threatening his gf outside and acted aggressive when the cop showed up to see what's up.
It was a retarded mess all around because people were literally hanging up posters with the cop's face and calling to witchhunt him, then when the narrative changed they were putting up posters of the other guy kek
No. 1862600
>>18625424chan was hostile and edgy long before /new/ even existed. I still remember posting for the first time and instantly getting told to kms.
Toxicity have always been part of the anonymous IB experience. If you have been on these types of sites at all is because you also find at least some aspect of it appealing. I'd be hipocritical to deny it.
No. 1862682
File: 1705804817307.jpeg (871.47 KB, 1920x1080, IMG_1559.jpeg)
I know i shouldn’t let it get to me but it pisses me off so much when men try to scare single women with the wall and cat lady thing or even better: they think women feel threatened by ai taking our “jobs” of being bang maids. Like no wtf? Women don’t value their worth on having sex like men do. Women don’t mass murder strangers and/or commit suicide because they are virgins at the ripe old age of 20. Do moids really think I'm seething because they don’t sexually harass me? I never wanted a boyfriend and am content with my animu boys and am not seething about single men the way men seethe about single women. Leave me an my autistic Haifu alone and clean your fleshlight moid.
No. 1862744
>>1862722Aw nona, I appreciate you. If I tried to describe… My torso is short, giving me a more stocky look. My hips are wide, so I don't look good masculinely, yet they aren't bigger than my shoulders so it's not a typical female build. My trapezius muscle bulges out like a triangle, making my neck look shorter and my shoulders sloped down until it stops suddenly at my shoulders that jut out. My breasts are big enough that I can cup them with my hands but my ribcage dwarfs them. With how wide my ribcage is, they're so wide apart they look like moobs lmao, unless I stretch and I can then see the natural form of the breast. I hate that my body is such a mix between feminine and masculine because any style just looks weird on me- I love long skirts so it's a bit of a bummer. I've been thinking of getting buff as hell because with my wide shoulders, I'd look super intimidating if I was jacked, and it'd be easier because I like eating and I'm a bit short. I've been looking in the mirror more and trying to be more appreciative of my body these days, I like how my collarbones are shaped and the slight pinch of my waist. I hope we can both learn to love our bodies soon nona!!
No. 1862748
>>1862734♥
>>1862744ayrt that's so funny about your traps, mine also bulge alot from working out and carrying tension in my shoulders. can totally relate to the hip-shoulder ratio width too, i have found that tight skirts accentuate my hips better so i compensate wearing those with something baggy up top to create contrast and make the shoulders look not so wide. hitting the gym sounds like a great idea, it's so good for you both mentally and physically. thanks and i hope we do too, just gotta work with what we have!
No. 1862871
File: 1705816413976.jpg (76.7 KB, 950x922, 20240117_224556.jpg)
>>1862869Most beautiful thing I've heard today
No. 1862887
File: 1705818215778.jpeg (179.38 KB, 828x851, IMG_5936.jpeg)
My partner (of 3 years) has a moid ex who keeps inserting himself by sending texts and then a $400 dog bed anonymously in the mail to our house then texting her “how does [dog] like her new bed? :)” I have told her this moid hanging around likes bad smell makes me uncomfortable and annoyed. I have no concern she wants anything actually to do with him since she was a closeted lesbian for most of their relationship kek
Anyway she refuses to “be rude” to him by telling him not to text or send shit in the mail. The dog bed was the last straw so I cut it in half and threw it in the bin (obviously regrettable) but she retaliated by throwing my bike at my computer screen and smashing it. Of course she went straight on text to her cuntiest friend who has always hated me and I’ve always hated her. She told the friend I cut up the dog bed but conveniently omitted anything about my smashed screen. Anyway of course the friend is GLEEFUL we are breaking up. Anyway there is a housing crisis in my city and although I can pay a bond etc the prospect of moving it stressful. What a mess.
No. 1862888
>>1862887You cut up an allegedly 400$ dog bed, an item that mind you
did not belong to you, you're a horrible gf.
No. 1862899
>>1862897I’m glad this is actually some balanced nonas still here who don’t rush immediately to judgement.
I regret trashing the dog bed obviously but it may extenuate the circumstances that the dog we share as well as the house and by extension was shared property.
No. 1862941
>>1862904kek, actually
nonny I already do take creatine. not very consistently and mostly because I weight lift. I think I did feel a bit better on the day I put it in some water to take with me though so I'll try doing that more. also at this point I'd try yoga unironically. for some reason just walking around is very tiring so maybe another kind of exercise would help me.
No. 1862948
File: 1705824339231.jpg (92.98 KB, 753x564, FFl8w9DVUAkOdax.jpg)
I don't want to go back to my dogshit college/work. I did need to go back to school, so I'm fine with just dealing with the social cancer, but it doesn't make it less annoying or more avoidable. If I didn't work here, I'd have transferred out. The kids are such pieces of shit. Finally blocked as many as I remember having the misfortune of watching be fucking awful to each other, bully other kids, spread career-ending rumors about faculty, or directly insult me. They keep saying "it's the year, sorry, we're so sorry" to me but I'm so fucking sick of it. I do agree 90% of the shitters are in our year, but there are others I cannot trust worth shit in later ones. I had a bad feeling about last semester, I was right. I have a bad feeling about this one. Fucking says something when your students are so awful, you have to dedicate an entire 3-unit class to telling them to not be pieces of shit every week.
Hoping the place just fucking finishes losing money and closes, as unilaterally bad as that would be. I'm too old for this shit. I hope everyone also having a shit time just quits.
No. 1862969
File: 1705827104671.jpg (61.14 KB, 736x722, fatigué.jpg)
I feel like everybody either doesn't care about me or is using me
My parents are the only exception
I find the world to be a very sad and disappointing place, I don't know why
I guess it's entitled to expect people to do stuff "just for you" and not for what they get in return, but still I find it sad?
I want to be alone now, at least in my imagination people are nice and they love me for me
No. 1862972
>>1862944relatable, I have the same problem
I still haven't found a solid solution to this
1. work so hard and exhaust yourself so much that you fall of exhaustion into your bed
2. create a routine where you watch one or two episodes of a nice show before bed
3. make yourself a delicious drink when waking up so waking up isn't associated with so much pain anymore
4. most efficient but sadly can't work long term due to addiction… benzodiazepine drugs
No. 1862978
>>1862451I relate to your experience
I'd rather live in a fantasy world than date for real at this point
No. 1863008
>>1862990I was visiting my friend in another country. I live in a country where I don't have to drive, and their country doesn't have a bike culture, so the bike they dug up for me upon my request was rusty with broken brakes. I took it to the supermarket one day, didn't even bother chaining it because it was that shit. When I came out, I found a plastic bag attached to a railing near the bike with two crocheted four-leaf-clovers inside, and a message just like yours.
It was very touching to think someone specifically saw the busted bike and thought, this person needs a pick-me-up.
Also post pic of your plushie
No. 1863018
File: 1705830923680.jpg (66.05 KB, 476x559, 1000009446.jpg)
I have mad executive dysfunction and I constantly feel like I do not have time for anything. On weekdays I am so drained from work that I basically fall into bed afterwards, on the weekends I have to visit family or meet with friends, clean, cook, etc. I have no idea how normal people make time for their hobbies. I always feel like I'm either out of time or out of energy for doing things that I would like
No. 1863058
File: 1705835408279.jpg (60.64 KB, 387x550, in the sink.jpg)
>>1863044>if he doesn't actively defend women's rights he can go to hell or somethingI know it's just a random example but aren't the vocal "male feminists" oftentimes the worst offenders kek
No. 1863097
>>1863087Well human biology is disgusting in general but especially male biology, it's parasitic. If men were like Ken dolls down there I would probably likw them kek. I still find their faces and their overall form attractive and just touching and making out with a guy would be enough for me, maybe mutual masturbation too but without inserting anything inside of me.
I have an incredibly strong feeling of body integrity and I hate the idea of anything going inside of my body. I would never use a tampon etc. When I masturbate I just touch my clit and it's nice. But I have no desire to put my finger inside etc. I never had any sex-related trauma, I've always been like this. My only hope is to find someone similar to me but eh. If I won't find that person I will just live alone and that's also fine.
No. 1863118
File: 1705840574084.jpg (25.21 KB, 563x373, 7a6145cc9646cf8a9b2235eef11bfd…)
I've been doing quite bad mentally lately and I've been thinking about going camping by myself over the weekend once the weather gets better but I'm just too scared that I'll come a cross a creepy moid or something. I don't feel safe travelling by myself but the point of me camping by myself is to be alone for a bit. Sigh.
No. 1863121
>>1863118maybe you can buy a satteliete phone
nonnie or go to a private campground.
No. 1863185
This situation killed that spark in me, I'm so depressed. I wish things were different and I could've more options instead of this shit. I was doing just right, just being a normal, carefree early 20s girl now I can't barely sleep or focus on my hobbies, nothing really feels exciting anymore. I miss who I was before these news, I feel so foggy and out of everything. Just waiting for a miracle at this point because I seriously don't know how I'm going to live this way, barely keeping it together and just kind of existing instead of actually enjoying life. I'm seriously depressed and nobody gives a damn, they just sabotaged my life, I keep having dreams were things get better but reality is so crushing. I just wanted one thing, didn't ask for money or luxuries, just wanted everyone to stop dragging me back to my past, guess I can't have shit. I want to enjoy life again, now I'll have to cope with everything again, feel heavy again. Just when I was healing, they just took my happiness outta my hands and told me to accept it. I deserve to be happy and feel safe too, I'm not ready yet.
Sometimes I wonder why did I survive that car crash, I was convinced God was talking to me, promising me a better life, now this bomb just exploded right in my face months later, ruining everything. Am I here just to suffer? What's the point? He doesn't answer me, I wish he did, for everything I've been through, it's like he keeps me onto this life just to get traumatized over and over instead of just giving me a hand at least once. I don't have a lot to my name, not a lot of money or friends, I live a very humble life, what else should I lose? I don't want to be famous, nor anything spectacular, I just want to be at ease, at this point is all I can ask for. Why do you keep doing this? Please answer me, what's your plan?
No. 1863310
File: 1705854408707.jpg (41.41 KB, 735x834, 0ac6360010ace4a8318704c4ab3cf5…)
>Say something romantic and intimate to my boyfriend since he's at his hometown right now and I'm missing him
>He replies with a memaw-tier "That's nice dear, thanks"
No. 1863332
>>1863318I'll probably be on the same boat too soon because AI and there's literally no other options for me at my age and in my shithole.
Not like i want to see what becomes of this horrible world in the future. Humanity will deserve whatever its coming to it
No. 1863373
My sister died last year and I miss her so much. I got sick after her funeral and just haven't been right since. I've had two bugs since Christmas and my body is just sapped of all vitality. I get up and drag myself to work, feel fatigued all day… I think about all the things I could do after work, clean, draw, read, craft, play a game…. But my commute home sucks, and by the time I get home and feed myself…. I fall asleep on the couch. Then it's bedtime and it starts all over again. I want to take up my exercise routine again but I feel so worn out, it's so dark out and the weather is so shitty. I do a lot of self care, I take my vitamins, I meditate, bla bla bla… I have a loving partner and good support. But in spite of all that…. there's no magical thing to make everything better. There's just no getting around it, sometimes life is really fucking hard.
No. 1863380
File: 1705859716853.jpg (2.6 KB, 215x239, 1000032930.jpg)
I fucking HAATTTEEEE the lard ass, obese fucking nasty and smelly "goblins" I have to fucking work with!
Fucking would not call yourself a they them lbr if you were a normal human size, and they are so so soooo disgusting. And cause I am the only not white or white washed one here, the fucking racisim!
Got to leave fucking Tranada honestly, I am spent
No. 1863387
>>1863373I am so sorry, sweet
nonnie. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can do and it’s good you have support. What was your sister like? What’s your favorite memory with her? Don’t feel obliged to answer, but ime I found it helpful to talk about my loved ones who passed.
No. 1863395
>>1863374Oh nonna, you need help. You can't deal with that while you are sleep deprived. I am old but I don't have any kids thus have no wisdom about them. Have you got any older women or fellow mom friends you can ask for advice or help?? You need like a kindly non judgemental old lady who has lived through everything. It sounds like a living nightmare. Obviously you gotta get some help to figure out why your baby won't stop crying, but additionally maybe you can get some of those earplugs that filter out the stressful higher registers, but still allow you to hear. They are generally targeted for autismo's but I have some and they take the edge off stressful noises even while allowing me to still hear and hold conversations etc. I find loop more comfy than flare audio but they're both good.
https://www.loopearplugs.com/products/engage -
https://www.flareaudio.com/products/calmer No. 1863406
File: 1705861627368.jpg (104.22 KB, 1080x1068, 1000028436.jpg)
>>1863387>>1863392Thank you so much, nonnies x she was my eldest sister. She was a wonderful person and an extremely high achiever and prominent in her career field. I'm a lowly worm compared to her, but the difference is I'm pretty happy in my little life, while she suffered so much stress and worry all the time. We were very different people but still two birds of a feather. I was really hard on her before she got sick and died because the stress levels in her life were so high. I kept telling her that it wasn't right what was happening to her. Her husband was emotionally
abusive. It was hard to accept someone like her could end up with an asshole. How stupid was I, it can happen to anyone.
Yet I have to put my feelings towards my brother in law behind me so I can have a relationship with her kids, who I love … and yet I have some anger at her teenage child who really made her life miserable for the few years before she died. Gender bullshit. Self harm. My sister was so worried about it. She's got one kid who is quite autistic and another who is the exact opposite… But I know how much she loved both her kids and just wanted them to be happy and successful in life. But ughhhhhh. I hope I can still be a good auntie to them.
No. 1863432
File: 1705862631182.jpg (525.51 KB, 706x531, 1000002282.jpg)
>>1863416We have an influx of teens who are at default full of shit and love this newfound ability to be a cunt without consequence after feeling like theyre constantly under duress with a social microscope over head. But we also have (really persistent) men pretending to be women who get like a heroin-level dopamine receptor rush from the dupers delight of making you all think they're just trad women and not lonely fags that consider harassing women a hobby.
No. 1863531
Got diagnosed with PCOS 3 weeks ago, but I've always known there was something up with me (since puberty, that is). I've always felt like a lesser woman. I've had this internalized feeling that my body is messed up and hideous, even when the other girls had acne, theirs was normal-looking, and mine was disgusting and cystic, I looked disfigured. Other girls, even if people would nowadays describe them as """mid""", grew up to look like normal girls and women, while I looked like a freakishly tall, chubby child with several adult featured tacked to a kid's face up until I was about 16 years old. I don't think my self esteem can ever recover. I never understood why I couldn't lose weight even if I counted my calories, and every single day would turn out to be 1200, and so on. At least I know why now, but that's besides the point.
Something that's been really bothering me lately is a handmaiden friend saying I'm actually intersex because of my PCOS. I rarely ever vent to my friend group, which is all tenderqueer young adult women (I know, I know, I still value and love them, and hope they grow out of it), one "any pronouns" moid (in a straight relationship with one of them), and one normal straight one. All of them, except for maybe one and the handmaiden in question are more or less reserved about it, at least compared to what the standard is generally. The handmaiden is dating a walking caricature of a TIM. I rarely vent to my friends because I've internalized that nobody gives a fuck about how an ugly woman feels, but I've actually opened up about this whole thing to them, and only two people really cared. It's mostly fine, it only stings a little. One was great about it and it was a massive relief to have someone actually take me seriously for once. That was nice. But then the TIM-lover girl's idea of "support" was saying that haha I'm actually one of them now, I'm not cis anymore haha! Others either played along with it or did nothing. I kinda wanna die. I'm normally not this sensitive but my womanhood-related self-esteem issues are my weak point. I can't get this off my mind, the fact that the supposedly progressive people think of me as not-a-woman, because one of my ovaries is a little fucked up and I'm ugly and unhealthy because of it. God, I wish I was just normal. For most of my life I've had mostly male friends because I couldn't fit in with the girls, also because of my sexuality. Sometimes I wish the female friend group dynamics were as straightforward and retarded as the male ones, and I could just tell the handmaiden that I don't like her, that she should shut the fuck up, and then we would just avoid each other. I can say I'm feeling bad about the whole thing but I can't even do so much as insinuate not liking to be pulled into the whole gender shit. At the end of the day, just the simple fact that I'm a biological woman kept me sane, and now the people who I've grown to be emotionally attached to pull that kinda thing on me. I know they're not being malicious, just stupid, but I'm insecure and I wish I wasn't. Stupid rant, but it is what it is.
No. 1863534
File: 1705866139530.jpeg (50.14 KB, 827x792, 1681623948213.jpeg)
>new relationship, bf not into intimacy
>express that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable
>"A few years ago I was dating the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I still had the same issue"
>realize what he just did (he's autistic and let's shit slip, it wasn't negging)
>tell him he just made it a thousand times worse and made me feel so fucking ugly i feel like crying
>start crying
>he gets annoyed because i'm "trying to make him feel bad"
No. 1863629
File: 1705868887225.png (2.26 MB, 1080x1079, house.png)
I feel horrible remembering some of the messed up stuff my ex used to say to me. Some was vitriol towards me, some was unhinged rhetoric towards other people (and animals), and some were twisted hypotheticals that he'd muse about as if he was some intellectual. I don't even want to repeat exactly the stuff he said for the last category but like one example is "a solution to the problem of child molesters" (that didn't involve pedos getting punished) it makes me feel so sick not because I had to listen to it but because I never did anything. i didnt leave i barely pushed back and i genuinely loved this man and ignored all his dark parts. im complicit im half responsible im just as bad for standing by him
The other day someone nice was talking to me and then looked me in the eye and told me that I seem like a really kind person, and on the inside I just felt this immense shame and guilt. I'm so stupid for thinking I could help him be good.
No. 1863679
>>1863658thank you nona, your words are very kind and comforting.
I'm trying to be compassionate to my past self especially knowing that I was a teenager for a large part of it. I hope that I can learn from my experience and help other women
No. 1863694
>>1863688like genuinely she and other older adults are constantly like "ooomg, living at home is
the best thing ever you do NOT have to pay rent!!! you're gonna HATE it when you're out on your own and you have to pay RENT AND BILLS >:)) !!!" and i totally do not understand it……of course i'll have to? i don't give a shit about paying to keep my place, so long as i can afford it (this is how we keep infrastructure going)? did boomers just not pay bills in the past, i don't get their hatred of it
No. 1863699
>>1863374This sounds like colic. Talk to your doctor about gripe water. It's basically a tincture of herbs that soothe the digestion system. Do make sure that you are buying a reputable brand that is safe. I used it and it seemed to help. Some of my friends that have children have also had success with it.
As for her not sleeping I had this issue with my daughter. When she was a newborn she slept next to the bed where I sleep in a bassinet. I tried to move her to sleeping into a crib as she got older. She resisted and wouldn't let me sleep, so what I did was I put her back in the bassinet and then gradually moved the bassinet away from the bed each night until it was next to the crib. Babies find the sound of their mother's breathing to be comforting, so try not to get angry with her. She's crying because she loves you and wants to be with you.
No. 1863717
>>1863532Just ask older women around you, they will know some witch for sure
>>1863531Fuck your retarde friends, seriously. I can't believe how insensitive people can be about this. I don't have PCOS but dealed with acne from age 11 to age 21 in face, body and partial limbs, it screwed my teenage years completely along with stretch marks and my crazy body hair. I'm sure I was exposed to some endochrine disruptor as a kid, but now I'm starting to think that traume actually messes up completely a girl's puberty if it happens before the age of 7, it makes everything come sooner and weirder. Long story short, things like that are important aspects of your life and I'm so sorry your friends don't support you the way they should. I think you can lead a very normal life with PCOS and its symptoms, although it takes effort daily. Hairy women aren't ugly, I myself stoped shaving my legs and armpits (never shaved my arms, cheeks or chest).
Men hate hairy women because at some point of their lives we will have more hair around our knees that they will have on their head lol No. 1863848
File: 1705880866902.jpg (133.96 KB, 700x910, 7539785.jpg)
I just saw someone bash my favorite book, and then I found out that the author is a blond woman with grey eyes (like me), and has partial central heterochromia. I just know all the negative reviews are people who have seen her and are jealous, kek.
No. 1863854
File: 1705881429854.jpeg (744.19 KB, 1800x1200, IMG_1168.jpeg)
I have the privilege of a well paying job with a wonderful set of coworkers and I just want to quit and be a hermit.
I don’t have any motivation to be successful in my career.
No. 1863869
File: 1705882194304.jpg (125.2 KB, 867x1024, 1702933981265169m.jpg)
The idea of splitting the bill on a date is fucking disgusting, especially if the man was the one who came up with the idea of inviting you somewhere. My art teacher was a gay man and he sometimes invited his favourite students to a popular local café. Even he, despite being a gay man, always paid for me because he thought that "a gentleman should always pay for the lady" and also because he was the one inviting me, not the other way around. How is it that a gay man gets it, but a straight one doesn't? Pathetic. I never had sex and I dated only once in my life, and I just felt weird and cringe to always split the bill, even for a fucking pizza. I felt like for him I was not worth investing in. I even gave him a small gift once, as a nice gesture, but he never did anything similar for me. Now, I fear dating men for many, many reasons, way more serious than splitting bills, but the general idea of 50/50 is one of them. Men still earn more on average and I, as a woman, put myself at a much higher risk while dating or having sex with a man than the man who dates me etc. The LEAST he can do is fucking pay!
No. 1863884
>>1863857nta but you should stay off incel lookism forums,
nonny, it's not a good look.
No. 1863896
File: 1705883751499.jpeg (320.64 KB, 1515x2273, 806A3B44-9823-4992-A09D-CE6E23…)
>>1863888Not everyone has deep ones like that when they smile.
(no kpop allowed) No. 1863917
>>1857107my boyfriend broke up with me because his mom hates me. his mom also told the entire family how much she hated me and they agreed that i wasn't good enough for him.
guys im just so heartbroken over this. we were together for so long.
No. 1863918
>>1863848She looks like a deluded wine mom of two who writes erotica because she hadnt good sex in years.
Shes ugly
(bait/infighting) No. 1863923
>>1863918That may be true, but she's still prettier than you.
>>1863906That's your opinion, but it outsold and you'll have to deal with it.
No. 1863925
File: 1705885653093.jpeg (730.66 KB, 1284x1093, 4448B560-D3A8-4637-A353-D95944…)
>>1863921Eye color and hair color aside she’s still ugly and needs surgery to get her gums reduced. Pretty blondes exist like Pic related.
No. 1863931
>>1863917aw I'm sorry
nonnie. I know that hurts but he did you a favor in the long run, you deserve a man who can stand up for you.. I know it hurts right now and let it but I'm sorry nonna
No. 1863933
>>1863925Post a middle aged blond with no make up on that isn't a model and hasn't had any plastic surgery nor fillers that you think is a normal, obtainable level of good looks for the average woman.
>>1863921Also are you baiting on purpose? it's fine if you like her book but I've seen all kinds of women critique her book.
No. 1863948
File: 1705886892573.png (1.34 MB, 1303x822, THIS-is-what-has-y-all-by-the-…)
>>1863925>thinking women need plastic surgery to be attractiveKekk, brunette plastic surgery golem detected
>>1863933>Also are you baiting on purpose? it's fine if you like her book but I've seen all kinds of women critique her book.Yeah, and they're all unfortunate brunettes who need a pound of makeup to look good
(bait/infighting) No. 1863950
File: 1705886953624.jpeg (612.17 KB, 1648x2500, 274ED38D-9228-4AA9-870E-0393B5…)
>>1863944
Shes pretty but not in the picture you posted
No. 1863969
File: 1705888157356.jpg (17.62 KB, 403x433, 1705888062133.jpg)
I want to start going to a gym, but I don't know how to use the equipments and I'm afraid the instructors there won't help me
No. 1863979
>>1863969Fear not,
nonnie. You can watch videos on YouTube to help you with figuring things out.
No. 1864052
>>1863969When you sign up for a membership, depending on the gym someone will show you around and may show you how to use some of the machines. In addition you can look up the machines on youtube and get a tutorial as well. Some of the machines will have pictures too, but I'd suggest always looking up a video to be certain you're doing it right. People at the gym are very non judgmental despite what you may think, many would be happy to assist you. Don't let your fear own you
nonnie!
No. 1864142
File: 1705897268766.jpg (148.65 KB, 720x790, 1000002244.jpg)
I will never understand why it's the most uninspiring people that think everyone is biting from them when they literally steal everything from people who actually create or have their own thing. They will be an amalgamation of various people they obsess over online and mirror literally every single thing about other people on social media and then pretend they're originals or tastemakers or something? Like random silly unserious example but someone will repeat a phrase they jacked from someone else too much and then when they see other people using it online they'll complain about how they're the ~blueprint~ incessantly. Is there a nice way to break it to these people that most of us just are not inspired by people like this? Why on earth would I admire someone who is just a chimeric parrot. God don't get me started when they don't create anything, only rely on copying other people for talking points, are obnoxious or cunty etc. Just the most delusional people alive convinced everyone has them on their moodboards when everything they have ever posted is either generic or vague and ripped from someone else. PLEASE do something else we don't want it!
No. 1864182
File: 1705900402967.jpg (20.34 KB, 735x504, 0b8b6f71f269ba0f696eae2f8f3f6a…)
i feel embarrassed and depressed whenever i think of my past self. 19 year old me really did think i could:
>get a cozy, but safe office job
>purchase a small cheap apartment and save up
>move out of state
all within a year or two of graduating uni (with my big fancy STEM degree). that is not remotely the case. i am hoping again…again…that the probable interview i will get after i phone this guy tomorrow works out, or maybe one of the dozens of jobs i've applied to this year alone will get back to me as well. but otherwise it feels so fucking over.
No. 1864273
File: 1705904356664.jpg (9.23 KB, 275x217, 1702175594355.jpg)
My mom finally bought tarot cards after gushing about her conspiracy influencer using them to predict shit for months. It was bad enough when she was openly shitting on this type of stuff before because devil worshipping or something. But now because her stupid ass influencer uses them it's okay because "she's using them for good intentions". I rolled my eyes when my mom pointed out she got the "good vibes" ones, it's on the label. Good I hate this MAGA religious conspiracy bullshit and the fucking influencers who push this fear mongering agender for monetary gain. I want to sleep and never wake up. just 2 more weeks patriots
No. 1864338
File: 1705914298759.jpg (38.07 KB, 640x643, 20230721_204957.jpg)
So I am unemployed. I get by on commissions and make maybe 100 dollars a month right now but I get by because I'm lucky enough to live with my parents so I have few expenses but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable. I take as many commissions as I can and I apply to at least 3 jobs a day, though my options are limited to places nearby because of my lack of a vehicle. None of the jobs near me ever even get to interviewing me. The ones in the shopping center near the bus stop used to be interested but now I don't hear anything back. I just want to save up for a car so I can work wherever the fuck I need to work. But it's hard to find anything at all. I've decided to work on my art,I want to improve so I can make my own living because businesses aren't hiring at the moment and it's really scary to think about what could happen if I didn't have my parents. I have lots of retail experience and food service experience…why am I not getting back something as small as a phone interview for a position like "fry cook" at McDonald's. This has been a major stressor and insecurity for me lately. Anyway I put away half of the money I make and put aside about 40 dollars for myself every month so I can do something with my friends or eat out. My friends like to hang out every few weeks I feel like that's not totally irresponsible? Maybe I'm wrong but so far I've saved decently…not enough to get a car but decently for the amount that I make. Anyways today me and my friends went to an arcade for our hang out. My friends are all male including my boyfriend. All of them make really good money except for me and my bf. He works at a grocery store and makes minimum wage. One of my friends has a government job working at his college, he got it right after he graduated and the other is a manager at a factory. Both of them make a ton more than me and my bf. They also have pretty well off parents that travel semi-often which kinda played into their success. The friend that is a manager at a factory, he got that job because his mom recommended him through her own connections. They both got cars as soon as they turned like 20 because their parents gave them to them. To some degree, I must admit, I am envious of them. They're my friends and I love them but we argue about this sometimes. They get sorta judgemental about how I use my money. Like everytime we hang out, like for example today at the arcade. I had my 40 bucks for the month, right. I was buying an arcade card and the payment didn't go through. It didn't go through because I forgot to transfer the money from my Cashapp to my bank. Anyway they got really judgemental about it. They said stuff like "wow, so you have less than 10 dollars in your account?" And I just felt really embarrassed. My friend insisted on paying the 2 bucks left on the fee and I was insisting to them that I just have to move the money from my Cashapp which they looked at me with such obviously skeptical expressions. And it frustrated me because I wasn't lying and I was already feeling pretty humiliated because I specifically told myself to put the money on my debit card before I left the house but I was too focused on dressing up and now I'm being subtly called a broke bitch by my friends again! I already know I'm broke! Anyway so I put 40 onto my debit card and pay the rest of the fee without any problems and Everytime I play a game they're just like "Would it financially responsibile to play the claw machine a second time?" And I'm just thinking the claw machine is the only game I really wanna play but now im being shamed for it so at this point i just really wanna go. I used the rest of the points on my card to play a rythm game and we leave. Anyway at some point we end up at a Starbucks where I got a volume of a manga I'd been collecting and a coffee. As my friend was buying his coffee I said the cake looked good and if he wanted to try it because i'd only wanna get it if we could split it. He goes "No because I'm financially responsible and don't buy things I don't actually need" with this really smug smirk. And I just changed the subject because I didn't know what to say to that. I thought that it was okay to set money aside for myself I didn't think it'd be such a big deal? Should I stop doing that should I sit out on hanging out with my friends until I have a higher income. Do my friends like me? They know that I save money, they know that I put money aside for myself after putting money into my savings but my eldest friend thinks I should put every dime away to save and also that my boyfriend shouldn't pay for anything which I understand because I want my boyfriend to save for college so I try to be self reliant to the best of my ability. They always make fun of me about my finances and it doesn't feel funny to me especially when they're making really decent money. One of them has enough to buy a house and is just living with his parents to save more. Everything I make is like a joke to him. My mom wants me to focus on school instead of working but I'd rather work than never be able to hang out with my friends without being criticized.
No. 1864347
>>1864338I'm sorry
nonnie but these people don't sound like your friends. It sounds like they see you as a doormat they can walk all over without consequences. Did you tell them that you don't like these comments and to please stop when they make them? Since you mentioned this wasn't the first day it had happened.
No. 1864352
>>1864348From just being a fellow nona in an anonymous site and not having a real view of your situation at all, just the comments worry me. They obviously don't make you feel good. This looks like a clear case of boundary pushing to me, which can happen even amongst good friends whenever one party develops bad self esteem or is going through a difficult period, which seems to be the case for you. To me it seems they make these snarky comments because you don't push back when they happen, so they know where your boundary lies and seeing this opening, they've all fallen into a pattern of pushing that button to make you feel bad and themselves good about perhaps not being in your situation. It's a bit sadistic, if you ask me, but I believe it that they're your friends and have helped you significantly over the years.
Normally I would suggest you to start standing up for yourself when these comments happen but to be completely transparent if you suddenly switch from seemingly tolerating them in silence to suddenly asking them to stop they might react aggressively and this could cause issues in your friendships which I'm sure you don't have the mental capacity for right now. But think about it for the future when you're in a better place. It's not okay that they treat you like this, even if they have been good to you.
No. 1864389
My physically disabled relative with a do-nothing house husband is finally pushing him to get a job. Who knows how this will turn out. Never fall into the "house husband" scam.
>>1864316The peace is a prize.
No. 1864509
>get suckered into a friendship with someone who mislabels their personality disorder as autism
>gets upset when I confront them, vaguely threaten suicide and guilt trips me, labels themselves "demand avoidant" and calls their shitty behavior their "neurology" that they can't change
>this is because I asked them to move a box in the kitchen
>get in huge fight, "make up"
>come back home from other friends house, decide they need to fuck off
>kick them out, they guilt trip me more
>tell them they can leave at their own pace, they tear everything out of the place within a week, don't pay their half of the utilities, and bounce
>starts vague posting about how you need to give "intimate partners" the chance to make mistakes and not "discard" them like they're "broken" and "it's giving capitalism" LOL
>we are not intimate partners bitch we're literally friends/roommates
>I told them to move a box and they called themselves demand avoidant and basically said "because you asked me today and it seems like you're pissed at me I'm not going to do it" but pathologized it by saying they're "demand avoidant", like a bitch
>kept asking me for reassurance after that I wasn't mad, said I wasn't mad twice but then got irritated they kept asking
>"well, it's starting to annoy me that you're asking me for reassurance"
>roommate has personality disorder attack - face goes blank and it's like they're actively contending with the fact that I didn't give them the reassurance they want
>runs into their room and cries for hours, loudly, with the door shut
>bursts out of room hours later, raging at me that I didn't reassure them
>told them it's bullshit that they want me to reassure them, and it's bullshit to say their behavior is their "neurology" and it's an excuse
>make up but later kick them out because I realize the gravity of them threatening suicide/leaving/reassurance baiting because I asked them to move a box
>guilt trip me, try and make me feel bad because "wow, I can't believe you're kicking me out during a housing crisis" as if they didn't have an entire state they could move back to, parents with more than one property to live at, or a boyfriend they could go back to living with
>they leave
months later
>ex-roommate vague posting on social media, talking about how I was their "little friend" who they hurt and tried to compare our apartment to a "stage" and the fight to some "drama"
This bitch has been framing this fight and falling out as if this is a learning experience for them, as if this is all part of their crunchy grifter tarot astrology life and takes this conflict we had and uses it to sell their shitty advice to people on patreon. Why am I ranting about this now? because THEY'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT IT! say it to my face you fucking freak.
No. 1864522
I vented about my needy coworker before a few threads ago. The same boomer that said it was “hurting her feelings” when I don’t have small talk with her. Last Friday, she had some mental episode and blew up again. I didn’t file a complaint last time and let it go, because I figure her life is lonely and pathetic (which she constantly projects onto me). Thought things were going okay because we exchanged gifts for Christmas and she even took me out to lunch for my birthday, but this happened:
>”Anon, you’ve been here 6 months and don’t do anything”
That’s not true and you know it kek. Delusional. Besides, I was never properly trained by you and whenever I do ask for help, you get mad. I do what I can.
>”You only do what you’re told.”
Yeah? That’s how work works. I’m not going to go out of my way and do shit that’s not asked of me. We’re underpaid in a dead end job. There’s no incentive or pay raises for overworking ourselves. I’m not going to show up 30 minutes before work and work before I’m even on the clock like you do, idiot.
>”My mental health is really bad”
That’s not my problem. Go to a therapist. If me not being your bestie at work is hurting your mental health, then something is wrong with you. We literally have nothing in common. I come to work to work, not make friends and entertain your lonely ass.
>”Do we need to talk about this to the supervisor? There is something going on between us.”
If you feel that way, go ahead, I don’t give a shit. I think this asshole is bipolar because for a while, I thought we got along okay and like I said, we even went out to lunch and exchanged gifts. That’s more than I’d normally do. I’m never rude to her, meanwhile she always makes jabs about how I’m not a morning person or an extrovert like she is. I told her that I’m not you, and she misinterpreted it as some “young vs old” thing.
Anyways, today we haven’t been talking. I’m not going to say anything because I don’t want her twisting anything and saying I’m the “aggressor”. If she tried talking to me, I’m going to tell her that I’ll be leaving soon anyways and to not make a huge fuss. She’ll have all the work to herself and no help soon enough. Turning in my 2 weeks in on Friday and I cannot wait to leave this stressful job and her dumbass behind.
No. 1864539
File: 1705944193461.jpg (68.55 KB, 960x960, Fm2Tu-3XgAACBwX.jpg)
I haven't seen much of a difference in the mirror since I started going to the gym to lose some weight, but I realized today when I put on my sport bra that I didn't have any of the….squish? that gathers underneath the armpit when I put them on. It's a baby step but it still made me really excited and even more motivated!
I just really wanted to share this somewhere since the dumbass thread is locked for hellweek
No. 1864541
>>1864525Thanks nona. I applied somewhere else and it’s more of a solo position with its own office. It would be great if I got it because then I won’t have to deal with a crazy coworker.
>The replacement will have a grand time with her.Yeah kek. She has a weird hate for millennials and gen z. Not sure why she is so concerned about having a work friend too that will overshare. I keep my work and personal life separate.
>>1864527Ty for the support nona. She’s got to have something mental going on. Definitely unhinged.
No. 1864588
>>1864584Attention seeking behavior. Have you tried talking to her about it? Though she doesn't sound mature enough to have a real conversation. I just wouldn't engage with her when she acts that way if I were you,
nonnie.
No. 1864708
>>1864681If you want to do it in a way that isn't mean, focus on being honest about your feelings. Center it around how you feel and that you need help too. "Hey, I've been feeling really worn out lately. I feel like I can't get everything done in time. I'd love it if you could do X for me while I do Y." Maybe something like that? Remember,
if he loved you as much as you loved him, then he would notice how you feel and step up to make your life easier. He has no excuses. He should be making your life easier and stress-free, not the opposite. It says a lot about him if he can't focus on what you're going through as well.
No. 1864710
File: 1705958328448.jpeg (791.95 KB, 862x675, IMG_3258.jpeg)
Help me get over my ex
Picrel is his hairline
No. 1864717
File: 1705959196369.jpg (164.4 KB, 600x784, 1000000268.jpg)
Having premenstrual madness and cannot stop crying and questioning every choice I've ever made and feeling like a fucking failure. Make it stooooop
No. 1864723
File: 1705959835460.jpeg (121.36 KB, 828x971, 1700541612631.jpeg)
oh boy a thread of my favourite series and how the guys would peel an orange for you, lets see what it says about my husbando!
>scroll until I get to him
>poster makes it about this retarded ass ship people are obsessed with despite him and the other guy having literally less than 10 interactions throughout the entire series
>to top it off it's completely ooc and retarded
this is true suffering, may you nonnies never have a husbando that gets beat to death with the fanon stick
No. 1864755
File: 1705963431437.jpeg (47.16 KB, 450x630, 01CA1202-5D5E-42D1-BE60-B5EE82…)
>>1864751Nta, I hope you’ve seen picrel.
No. 1864757
File: 1705963601048.jpg (10.29 KB, 275x261, 1695427872885.jpg)
>>1850618Replying to my own post because I just found out our manager wants my bully to become one of our shift leaders. I couldn't believe this, I was trying really hard not to cry when I heard this. Yeah she's very outspoken and has no problem with telling people what to do but basically nobody really likes her besides like maybe 2-3 people. Not just me, most people know how she really is. I don't know if our manager is blind or she simply doesn't care. I read that NPDs are really good at climbing the corporate ladder and this is a perfect example. If it actually happens I will have to fire myself because a) I will be in constant fear that she will try to fuck me over and if that happens her words will always be worth more than mine, and b) I just can't stand the idea of having my bully tellig me what to do. This is a cruel joke. Why are people like this constantly rewarded in life??
No. 1864937
File: 1705980654235.jpg (100.83 KB, 466x647, 1000002313.jpg)
Knowing an obsessive, mentally deranged abuser that runs a super creepy misogynistic "satire" twitter account that just sexually berates and makes fun of women makes me wonder how many abusers secretly run accounts like that. I wonder how many creepy accounts making fun of women that look like bots are actually these kinds of deeply deranged, terminally online men with a psychosexual hatred for women? Surely he can't be the only one. Men are sad as fuck.
No. 1864954
>>1864950You can ignore vents if they bother you FYI. "Why do you post a vent in the vent thread" because I'm venting? Hop off me omg. Apparently this phenomena is common, my fucking bad for being the
victim of some deranged man's violent tism.
No. 1864971
>>1864969This anon remembers it
>>1864956. That anon who posted about the drpoopy thing would write very long posts about darkweb stalking gangs and then mentioned that techie women have warned to use old phone models to circumvent the darkweb stalking.
No. 1864977
>>1864976I'm tinfoiling because that anon seemed very schizo and promise she'd provide proof of the stalking gangs but then just never did iirc and mods ended up banning her for being schizo. These replies
>>1864949,
>>1864954 feel so weird too.
No. 1864987
File: 1705983720280.jpg (67.25 KB, 1024x536, rHlx3CX3RCXzhXTxnPX5ejpEmjXQjL…)
>>1864982I never said you mocked me, nor would I give a fuck if you did. Why are you going in circles? Also my vent wasn't about a fag…? Anyways can you go attempt to bully someone else kek I'm bored of you, go continue to accuse all distressed
victims of abuse of being schizo elsewhere. God some of you.
No. 1864993
>>1864987You implied I was mocking you here
>>1864980, literally who else would you be talking about kek. You are not being stalked by a faggot via le darkwebs and he's not posting about you on his tranny humor twitter.
No. 1864995
>>1864993You know nothing about me or what I'm talking about, but I can tell you
really want to. Are you said supposed twanny on the offense or something? Really starting to sound like it. I love how you are jumping to "you were never abused" kek fuck off faggot.
No. 1865005
>>1865000Can I ask
why you're taunting an innocuous post in the vent thread repeatedly and telling an anon saying "I was abused", "you were not abused"? Very weird behavior from you. I genuinely believe you're the schizophrenic here, you're very aggressive and insistent.
No. 1865025
>>1865022It's fucking weird. I have a hard time believing it's women, most women are aware of what men are capable of and will do for literally no reason except the thrill of inflicting pain. Posts like this
>>1865020 make me wonder if it's self-conscious men because what on earth is going on suddenly? Then again I guess there are women who are just angry when you talk about real life experiences they know nothing about and refuse to acknowledge that their limited view of reality isn't the finite one we all exist in.
No. 1865035
>>1865033You're STILL insisting of this. You know we can read your posts in relation to the rest of the posts upthread right now?
You are the only one insisting upon talking about this
No. 1865043
>>1865039Samefag, I only kept responding because this reply
>>1864949 was so weird. My post it was in response to wasn't even angry, I was genuinely asking a retarded question because I have seen the same post made almost word by word a few times and that drpoopy shit is difficult to forget. Then they randomly mention crystal cafe and then this post
>>1864952 is also weird as fuck. This entire exchange has felt slightly schizo the entire time on both ends.
No. 1865054
I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and went from a bmi of 35 to a bmi of 18. I’ve since gained some weight back, but since then I’ve been trying to find the root cause behind negative social interactions. The change of going from obese to skinny, then to gaining the weight back has had a fairly drastic effect on my day-to-day social interactions. The way I was treated by strangers was night and day at my different weights. I’d been fat my whole life so it was an eye opening, but seriously unsettling event. I ended up gaining all the weight back because it was such a huge shift on my perception pf society. Im working on losing it again and it’s going well, but I now analyse my social interactions in a more analytical way than I did before. Like was it based on my weight, perceived wealth (clothes, hair, etc), my personality, my social skills (did I do/say something that could be considered rude or weird) or was the person dealing with something and took it out on me. It was a completely unexpected result as well, but regaining the weight back was the biggest shock. I’d just about convinced myself that people had always been nice and all my anxiety had just been in my head after all. But when I gained the weight back, and I was still acting in a confident and happy manner, at a higher weight the treatment from people around me went straight back to being as nasty as it had been before I lost weight. And everyone who’d been nasty to me at a high weight and nice at a low weight went right back to being nasty again. I’d tried to lie to myself because it was so sudden a change. No one knew I’d lost the weight and I lost it fairly quickly.
Sorry if this sounds like a humble brag, it’s meant to be a vent/observation on how cruel society can be. Im a fatty again anyway.
No. 1865079
>>1865066>>1865069>>1865070was it this from the tech thread?
>>1521458here's one of the banned posts
>>1568231 No. 1865093
>>1865089Yeah okay but why would a darkweb cyberstalker just make retarded tweets about their
victim. That anon never claimed they did anything IRL I presume, it was just the tweets thing. The anon was definitely mentally ill, c'mon.
No. 1865111
>>1865103I wouldn't say it's that simple. Do you mean someone can pay an individual via access to the dark web to remotely overtake a cellular device using their phone number or icloud handle? The answer to that is yes. There are several methods to that I believe. It's plausible but requires wealth or the personal knowledge to do so, whether through kernel security, elaborate phishing, bribing an apple employee (yes, "bad faith actors" do exist), there are even apple employees who moonlight blackhat on the side. I guess you could say it is somewhat similar to bribing a twitter or ig employee to unsuspend your account. It's much easier if you have someone's icloud handle, even easier- frighteningly simple-if you can get their password. If you have someone's handle and pw, you can in fact view their every keystroke like you are watching a TV screen. That isn't fear mongering, and it's a popular form of stalking.
>>1865102Many stalkers have gone underground and online because they can sate their voyeurism fetishes without fear of jail or protection orders. You technically can get far more intimate access to a person through their tech than through standing outside their window. Don't let it make you live in fear though, most are lucky enough to not encounter those mentally ill enough to do it. They do exist though, and they are very persistent and mentally ill men. Be careful out there. Maybe this convo is better suited to a tech or snoop thread?
No. 1865122
>>1865111Yes. My point isn't that I think it's impossible for her devices to get hacked it was that the ways she was saying they were happening weren't clear and she wouldn't elaborate on how they worked.
>>1394162That thread had a majority of that night's rant. I think she talked about making a new thread in a different thread though.
No. 1865123
>>1865121I think it
sounds funny but the issue is that most women are never made aware this is happening to them.
No. 1865127
>>1865125What? I'm agreeing she was schizo.
Also kek
>>1394089>Your cyberstalker is probably my same stalker you're not special. No. 1865129
>>1865124Of course not, and only a juvenile would interpret my post that way. Its just unfortunate the rate of technological advancement makes it very easy to do this if you really truly wanted to, and there are sadly men who are insane enough to want to. That just means a theoretical
victim could go months, years without knowing this was happening to them. I'm saying "fuck these nasty ass pancakes" and you're saying "oh so you hate waffles? Psycho bitch!" kek be calm.
No. 1865136
File: 1705994524050.jpeg (873.12 KB, 1159x2161, IMG_7109.jpeg)
Not to sound schizo myself but there is a device program called Pegasus that can monitor smartphones, it's expensive and not easy to get. Was developed by Israeli intelligence company NSO group and its existence is quite worrisome
No. 1865285
File: 1706014570605.png (752.15 KB, 603x837, emiru.png)
I wish I was pretty like Emiru, I've always been compared to asian women since I was a teen. And I'm just a doughy white woman, it feels pathetic still having these thoughts… I'll never be this pretty no matter what I do
No. 1865293
File: 1706015010561.jpg (49.95 KB, 310x531, 1662672079195.jpg)
>>1865285well this is her without make-up (apparently) and she just looks like a normal/average girl to me? make-up truly does so much for some women.
No. 1865312
>>1865311You are tempting fate,
nonnie. Don’t be a retard
No. 1865325
>>1865311And it was not 3x0,5, it was 90x0.5. A month worth of 1,5mg a day. But I guess I have such a tolerance now, I just stumbled around my house and slept it off, feeling ok the next day.
I guess I'm a drug addict. That's pathetic.
>>1865319I don't think I would tho. I wouldn't jump a bridge. But the comfy sleepiness and deshibinition, I would gladly welcome.
Sorry if this feel edgy nonas. I'm in my thirties, it's not even like I'm a teenager that's going to grow out of it.
No. 1865356
File: 1706021056683.jpg (38.56 KB, 673x1200, 768b33c857455281221c5b85bc20a6…)
I'm so fucking lonely I took some cuddly toys that I'll carry around, sleep with, watch shows with and talk to all day
I might be going kind of crazy dunno.. It's really improving my mood though and feels much safer than actual humans
No. 1865367
>>1865332There are teenage girls on TikTok talking about being scared to turn 17.
17. It’s insane.
No. 1865378
File: 1706023052406.jpg (6.03 KB, 227x207, 1703211908291506.jpg)
>>1860103Trying bumble bff to see what's out there. I am chatting with a couple of girls, but I'm seeing a stupid amount of trannies and ofc the grossest one likes my profile. I only think he liked my profile because he wants to skinwalk me. If I don't get anywhere with the two ladies I am talking with, I am going to delete the app.
No. 1865404
File: 1706025056078.jpg (129.38 KB, 1000x1488, 13goingon30.jpg)
>>1865385omg that movie was hilarious! loved the motivational speech she gave to the (other) teens that was just the lyrics to Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield"
No. 1865426
File: 1706027353498.jpg (237.73 KB, 1019x1003, 1448159788164.jpg)
>>1865384There are a lot of lonely, unwanted folks out there, especially old people, just waiting to die.
I cope by reading books, especially those written centuries and millenniums ago, perhaps you too have more in common with some of those long dead people.
No. 1865461
>>1865450My mom committed suicide when I was younger. Most of my childhood I've been tossed from household to household. I've never had a stable home. My "family" made my life hell. My dad abandoned me until I was 8. I lived with my extremely mentally ill and physically
abusive mother until I was 8 in extreme poverty. She placed all of her emotional burdens on me. Was extremely neglected. Then was about to go to the orphanage when my dad's side of the family picked me up.
He left me with my grandparents and aunt. They told me I was the mother of a bitch, of an insane woman, that I didn't deserve to live. They were also relatively poor and obsessed with money. My grandpa was an alcoholic. There was always physical and mental abuse. My aunt would tell me I am useless and she'd always gaslight me. I was allowed to shower only for 6 minutes. Wasn't allowed to eat properly. When my dad would come back from work he'd take me in his car and take me to bars while the car was full of cigarette smoke. Then, when he's take me to his apartment he'd just have women over and ignore me. I had to clean, cook, do everything like a slave while dealing with extreme mental health issues. I became suicidal at around 8 and nobody at school fully cared. I am 25 and have over 15 suicide attempts and I can't find any peace. I keep trying to run away and find some stability and freedom. I've never had anyone fully concerned about me. I want to get a boyfriend or a husband and to heal from all the abuse and to escape that household but I know that for some reason I will never be part of society.
I can't keep a stable job because of emotional trauma and physical illness. My dad is now unemployed and still to this moment he is placing all his emotional problems on me. Wish I had friends or a stable support group or a boyfriend to pull me out of this hell but I know that nobody will ever fully give a shit about me and my problems. I am 25 already. Also, a lot of it is resulted from lack of financial stability. If I had financial stability I would be able to get away. I have never had minimum living quality and to this moment I have nobody decent, reliable or supportive in my life.
I've never even fully disclosed my problems towards anyone because I am just told to 'get help" which is financially impossible in my case. It's weird because I constantly see celebrities or even normal people fully disclose their problems and people are fully invested in their stories while my life is as horrible as it could possibly get and absolutely nobody is fully involved. I just get told to "get help' which is impossible.
I don't think that I will ever get away from here or heal. Not even on a basic level. Or have any kind of peace.
I am 25 and have been trying to escape the same situation since I was 8 and get at least 1 person that loves me and cares about me but I know that for some reason, despite all the effort I've placed into my life, all of my aspirations. I will always be alone trying to escape the same hell and that society will abuse me even more. So, I don't even try to reach out to the world. Although, it's very hard to keep everything in.
No. 1865477
>>1865461>>1865467Nona I'm genuinely so so so sorry for everything that has happened. I know that just a random stranger on the internet saying "sorry" won't really change anything, but I don't know how to describe it with other words. Everything you've gone through is so painful and you don't deserve to have been treated like that by your parents, grandparents, aunt and all of the idiots that have harassed you without ever knowing what you've endured. This "boyfriend" you've had was a heartless dumbass who did not deserve a relationship with you. You are a human being that deserves love, not a "dog"/"bitch". And when it comes to your family and the horrible way they raised you, you did not deserve that, regardless of who you are. Nobody deserves this. I'm so sorry anon. You've endured so much.
What would be most helpful to you right now? Maybe venting, or maybe brainstorming of little things you could do to improve your life even by 0,1%? Is talking in this thread making you feel better and would you like to keep chatting here? Don't respond if doing so will make you feel worse, but if it will help, I am here for you.
No. 1865525
File: 1706038252667.webp (9.99 KB, 205x172, D3B7D6D8-9392-4C70-A1B8-A1A822…)
I suck at telling jokes every time I think I’m making a lighthearted dig I can see people wince and I just come off as a total bitch. I swear I didn’t mean it like that
No. 1865538
>>1865461Nonna, as someone who had a similar upbringing, level of neglect and early onset of mental illness, i can tell you it gets so, so, so, so, so much better once you leave. Regardless of the problems you'll face, it'll be like you're on another plane of existence. Life will be worthwhile, in pain and joy. You'll be able to appreciate many things people with simpler childhoods take for granter, existing will be sweet and special even on the bad days. I hope you find a way out soon, even if it's something like a husband. I don't know enough about your circumstances to offer helpful advice, and this is very sappy but it's true.
No. 1865587
>>1865461First of all, holy shit you did NOT deserve any of that. The fact that you're still here to type this out is a miracle. You're stronger than you think.
You've told others your problems, chances are they've never dealt with anything like this and have no clue how to help. Look up CBT resources online, do the exercises no matter how stupid you think they are, keep going. You need a shitload of therapy, and worksheets from the internet won't be the same, but believe me, they help a lot. It's a way to keep yourself grounded in reality while you deal with all the other shit. Look up grey rocking and read through the narc parents subreddit, they have a lot of resources for dealing with this sort of shit.
I know you're trying to escape, I know your family make it as hard as possible on purpose because these people are evil, so you have to think outside the box. Can you do some extra cash in hand work, like cleaning? Those jobs are usually very casual, so you don't have to worry about holding down a job. If your family have access to your bank account, open a new one and deposit all the cash into it. It's a slow way to build up savings, but it's not money you'll spend on day to day stuff, it sits there and builds interest. Obviously don't tell anyone that you're doing this, or they'll find some way to take the money. Also, I don't know the extent of your illness or what could set off your trauma, but cleaning hoarder homes pays pretty well, if you can manage to clean maybe 1 or 2 a month that'll go a long way towards helping you move out. This is seriously taxing work, emotionally and physically, so it's a last resort, but if you're desperate for cash, it's a better option than most other quick money makers. Way better than selling drugs and being a hooker.
Please don't look to other people for approval and love. You won't find either from the people you live with or any moids you date, there's no point in giving their opinions any weight because their opinions are worthless. No matter what you do, they won't appreciate or love you; save yourself the trouble of being humiliated over the crime of existing and just stop trying to people please.
The effort you've put into your life hasn't been wasted. You're 25, you're still very young- there are 50 year olds going to college to get their first degree and start a brand new career. I totally get that it doesn't seem realistic that you'll ever leave, but you need to remember that you've been stuck in a nightmare for your whole life. 25 years of being told you're shit and 15+ suicide attempts are bound to set you back. You've only been legally able to move out for a few years- you've made it this far, you can make it out.
Take it slowly, one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to. Don't set goals you'll be crushed at not achieving, set simple small ones that you know you can do, and build up from there. People leave situations like yours, and worse, all the time. They go on to live happy and successful lives. You can do it too.
No. 1865588
File: 1706043005422.jpg (303.41 KB, 1280x903, 1703970294562.jpg)
>>1865533I'm not finding a ton of people right in my town. The two matches I got are about 45 minutes away from me, and the conversations are fine. If you're in a more populated area, it will work better for you. The trannies are easy to spot.
Hopefully I will make a friend or two but I'm uncertain. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.
No. 1865621
>>1865596I used communities incorrectly here as I was just really upset last week. I meant to say friendship circles. I am in a few discord servers where I am the only woman on it, or there are other women, but they are not very active in it. That is my main form of social interaction that isn't my boyfriend and his friends. It's getting to the point where it's super grating to be around those kind of men.(Online, not irl) I want to branch out and get away from a portion of those dickbags. Like I'm used to banter or whatever because "woman bad lmfao xD". It comes with being on the internet. Having it be the main source of my socialization is pathetic on my part. I feel like I don't even know how to relate to women anymore because I am so "malebrained". I find it easier to talk to guys than girls. There's probably something wrong with me Nonna.
Like you I'm not super into husbandos or yaoi and have found that a bit off putting. Not saying it's bad, just not something I want to talk about all the time.
>>1865605As I said, they're really easy to spot and you can just ignore them. It's just offputting to see a troon pop out of nowhere.
No. 1865650
File: 1706048503384.jpg (16.82 KB, 236x236, 3ecfa77ea931b0075e3d792e6bfc3d…)
>>1865639Other than vidya, manga, and anime, I like to craft things. I like working with my hands, I'm not any good at it. Eventually, I want to branch out into creating things like picrel. Maybe woodworking too. I read books - whatever is interesting to me. I like fiction, historical, nonfiction, and fantasy. I love movies - again with books, anything that interests me except for Marvel capeshit. I enjoy cooking, I try to get into fashion and makeup. The weather is shit where I am, but I love being outside, walking around to music or Pokemon Go. I'm trying to branch out more with hobbies, so I'm learning a language for fun, botany when the weather gets nicer. I'd like to learn more about the local vegetation around me.
I don't want to derail the vent thread too much, so I am holding myself back a bit.
No. 1865665
File: 1706050368307.jpg (377.99 KB, 994x1212, Screenshot_20240124_113938_Chr…)
False autism diagnosis has ruined my life. I was born traumatized because of an accident to my mother during her pregnancy, so everything felt too intense and painful to me when I was born. I was scared and couldn't open my eyes, I felt like I was choking so I couldn't speak. So I was sent to a retard house where they would feed and clothe us but I wouldn't play or talk, and when I did, they yelled at me that I am such a retard, and showered me in scalding hot or icy cold water. When I started to open my eyes and talk, they let my mother take me home but from all the bullshit they said to me I became violent and beat other kids and killed animals. Then they still berated me constantly so I started lying, and then was titled a psychopath. After this, even my own parents constantly yelled and denied me. The doctors told them to treat me like this, and even for my entire teen life I was controlled. My laptop was monitored, I could not use a smartphone, any boyfriend I had turned out to be an autist in the program, subtlety introduced to me so I wouldn't know they're also treated as retards. I was not doing drugs, I was not allowed to have friends over or attend parties so I didn't, then I got berated for always staying home. If I went on a walk they would yell at me for going away "God knows where". I was put on various drugs throughout my life that made me forgetful, unable to sleep and stupider. I tried to kill myself multiple times in childhood, then when I joked about it in my teens they thought I was serious. Sorry for blogposting but fuck this entire shit. I wish I could've gone into the military when I was a teen, then I could've made some real friends in a disciplined environment, friends who weren't absolute doormats and autistic anime retards also on drugs. My entire life feels delayed and wasted on autistic shit I was forced into "for therapy".
No. 1865673
File: 1706050860867.jpg (100.04 KB, 842x1187, 1000004328.jpg)
>>1865587I did everything for myself. I have nobody decent in my life after 16 years. I carry horrible amounts of interpersonal abuse. I realized that nobody will love me. Nobody will care about me or accept me. I accept death. I know my next attempt will be my last.
I wish that I knew what was like to be loved. I've never experienced that. I've never been wanted, desired, appreciated, needed, surrounded by positivity. I've never been in a relationship with a man that is on a similar level of intelligence and attractiveness as me. I've never experienced love or care and I've never been at "home".
I'm cut off from society entirely and I continuously have no living quality or anything. I know that I did everything for myself but for some reason moral consideration doesn't apply to me.
When I was 8 I told myself that I would die by 30. I did everything that I could for myself nonnies. I did everything I could for others. I gave everyone my soul. But nobody in my life has ever been there for me or treated me well. I've never felt like a human being and I never will and I've never been taken seriously. My pain. My abuse. The isolation I have experienced from society have never been taken seriously. Even when I was in therapy. I went to therapy for 3 years. Was on over 6 antidepressants and it felt like the therapist couldn't understand my pain. No matter what I do. I can't aquire anything for myself. I can't aquire any friendship, social status, freedom, care, approval. Anything that is needed. I wish that I could live in squarolor. It would be much better than my situation. But I lose any sort of connection with society. I wish that I could be a drug addict but I can't be even that. I haven't lived my life. I wish I could do for a glimpse and no matter how hard I try to run far away from it. Everyone tells me the same thing that my family told me I AM WORTHLESS I DONT DESERVE TO LIVE TO EAT TO HAVE FUN I DONT DESERVE LOVE I DON'T DESERVE PEACE I DON'T DESERE RESPECT. It's really painful because I had aspirations and I have accumulated a lot of information but I've got burnt out. I know nobody. Absolutely nobody will be there for me. I'm jealous of people that live in squarolor or that are homeless and in relationships. They have so much more freedom. I've never had anyone fully involved with me.
I've been told that I'm like a dog by multiple people. I can't work. I wanted to have artistic freedom and have intelligent people by my side. Nothing that I do is good. I get tossed aside and I live underneath my worth. I can feel my body crumbles underneath the pressure of my existence. What people have put me through is unbearable. It's sad…I really had aspirations and I've placed a certain amount of intellectual effort into my life. I've placed effort into my looks. I don't know why I've experienced so much rejection. In my life I've never heard of anyone be treated the way that I have and it isn't socially acceptable but in my case it is socially acceptable. In my case anything floats. In my case anything is allowed because I don't matter and in the end like my grandparents used to say and everyone around me.
I AM CROOKED, USELESS, A WASTE OF AIR, SHOULDNT BE FED, IM THE CHILD OF AN INSANE BITCH, I SUFFER FROM SEVERE MENTAL ILLNESS, IM A BURDEN. Like the country kids that would pull out my hair would call me a freak. I thought that I could find freedom, connection, peace and especially artistic freedom on the internet and that I'd finally be surrounded by like minded people but it isn't the case.
I know that the only place where I am allowed is to climb on a 10 block building and throw myself. I'm completely isolated by society and it's not even an exaggeration. It's depressing because I had certain expectations.
Everything is like with my parents. My whiny mentally ill mother placing her extreme trauma on me. Having to make sure she isn't crying or threatening suicide. My grandparents and dad placing their emotional traumas onto me and making me carry all their burdens WHILE MY NEEDS, EMOTIONAL, EDUCATIONAL WERE NEVER MET.It was always about them. THEM THEM THEM THEM THEM THEM. NEVER ABOUT ME. If I said something about my needs, my emotional pain, if I showed any amount of discomfort, sadness or depression I'd just be punished.
It's the same on the internet and in real life as it was in my family. I'm surrounded by people and their needs and wants. They have BPD, they were abused by their family, they are unstable, they want this and that but my needs have never mattered and I have to pay attention. To carefully thread around their huge fucking Ego's just like with my parents or they SNAP. Because if I state my needs, problems, wants I just get ignored and berated and isolated because IT IS TOO MUCH AND IM EVIL.
I'm evil just like my parents would say. I DESERVE IT BECAUSE I AM EVIL. I DESERVE IT.
I'm 25 nearly. I have nobody in my life. I never will. I know very well that I don't matter. I won't attempt being part of society anymore. It hurts too much. I see girls much more unstable than me have men wrapped around their fingers. I see alcoholics and schizophrenics that talk to GOD have people genuinely there while I'm left to rot and probably end up on the streets because all the emotional, intellectual and all of the effort I've placed into people's lifes was never enough. Damned if I do damned if I don't.
Chris Chan has more care attention and love than I ever will and he is an autistic retard that raped his mother.
It's sad really. I just wish that I had friends and a boyfriend that would love me. I think that I deserve love, positivity and acceptance and to get away from my "family" and that town but everything that I've been told is that I'm a dog. I'm just a dog. Because even people that know what's like to deal with poverty, abuse, neglect, intergenerational trauma tell me that I am not HUMAN.
I just want freedom. Nothing that I do is good. I just want to be free.
No. 1865684
>>1865362It is a different anon.
>>1865665I'm sorry you were robbed of your childhood. I hope that one day you can find contentedness in adulthood and grow into who you really are underneath the bad things that have shaped you.
No. 1865719
File: 1706054518284.jpg (Spoiler Image,13.37 KB, 275x275, 1683781741799.jpg)
I am so tired all the time so I don't dwell on the noxious swamp that is my heart and mind usually but it's getting to me how horrible and meaningless of a person I am. I forget almost everything. I don't remember anything from my childhood besides maybe 3 bad experiences, I usually forget doing something right after I do it all the time, etc. My attention span is excellent but that doesn't even make a difference. I slur my speech all the time on accident and a lot of people just don't understand me saying the simplest things aloud. I am just stressed, and want to sink into my swamp like Atlantis did into the ocean if it was real.
It's pathetic but I remember listening to Trisha Paytas of all people babble on about some kind of milky nonsense and it occurred to me how exasperating it is that she is considered so vapid yet absolutely be 10x smarter, more interesting, and quicker witted than me.
No. 1865782
File: 1706058877988.jpg (10 KB, 275x275, 1652092240674.jpg)
>>1865747YOU ARE GETTING BETTER AT ART
YOU ARE GETTING BETTER AT YOUR JOB
YOU ARE GOING TO OUTDO YOURSELF AND MORE
YOU WILL LIVE AND YOU WILL SUCCEED
No. 1865831
>>18658262003 is just my favorite year, its sort of the last year my brain catagorized everything as being okay. My dad was alive, I was a young child, all my dogs were alive, my mom was happy and my parents were inseperable. It's long before I got sick and shit hit the fan. Everything was normal. I just wish I could go back and drink up how everything felt because I knew it was
good, I was so happy, but I didn't know how quickly it'd all change. I almost feel like I took it for granted despite also feeling like I
did take it all in and count my blessings. God, sorry for babbling. I'm very emotional right now.
No. 1865853
I am fat now. My skin got worse, everywhere. I have no disposition to do anything. Or worse yet, I have no confidence. I'm more irritable. I am more depressed. I guess it's fair that you've reached your limit. I'm still a bit funny, and have my considerate moments. That's probably why you still treat me like a roommate, friend. I don't feel that you wanna come back. You're just doing it because you have tickets, already. I sense nothing in your messages. Mild amusement, or annoyance. Vague replies. I'll probably be crazy if I bring it up. Will you treat me normal when you see my face again? Or will you be reminded of as to why it's gone? No light, no excitement, no romance, no plans, no promises yet no hatred either. It's empty and it's scary.
No. 1865939
File: 1706072871485.jpeg (1.09 MB, 2318x3300, FF879CAE-1C8A-4390-A8BF-66A82E…)
>>1865909Do a hair routine that fits with your hair type, try cutting a few strands and let them float in a cup of water for 5 mins and see where it floats to know how porous your hair is. Eat more protein and see if your skin issues stem from hormone imbalances and plan out a simple workout routine and look into diindolylmethane supplements. The more you focus on yourself the less you’ll be ruminating on things that stress you out.
No. 1865951
>>1865940>Generally, if you can't find more to life besides looksBruh, part of why I have this problem right now is that I was too focused on other things in the past to care about my appearance. Graduated from university with masters, have a stable job, socializing more with friends, and working more on my hobbies like art and writing. I never cared much about how I looked but now that I'm getting back into dating again, I really wish I took more initiative on my appearance instead of letting myself go. I also feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to see "aging effects" as I'm turning 26 this year. Wish I can go back 5 years ago where I was younger and still have the potential to be attractive. I'm just a fugly hag now.
>>1865939Thanks anon for this. I can't do anything for now with my shitty receding hairline but I'll look into developing a haircare routine as well.
No. 1865974
File: 1706075709692.jpeg (85.93 KB, 400x401, IMG_5529.jpeg)
Sorry for boyfriend sperg in advance Bf owes me money, keeps saying he'll work more often but doesn't ever really happen. Keeps taking days off so now he'll only be working two days this week. I was really looking forward to some alone time tomorrow (I'm an ADHDfag and need alone time desperately) and now he's gonna be here all day doing nothing.
I've been trying to do more sexual shit with him I even planned on propositioning him tonight but after he told me he took tomorrow off, I'm just so turned off lol.
Feels like i'm not allowed to be turned off from of this kind of thing, like it's not okay to not be attracted to him because of it. I know I shouldn't force myself to do anything but…ugh. Female conditioning is so strong smh
No. 1866022
>>1865916In my experience that's not true
Maybe this is because I am in my early 20s but from my experience, my male friends are extremely superficial and looks driven
No. 1866035
File: 1706081086673.jpeg (87.47 KB, 720x720, IMG_8935.jpeg)
>almost get into car accident because retarded old moid can’t drive
It’s always moids driving dangerously and dying in car accidents and they have the audacity to claim women can’t drive? Fucking lol
No. 1866036
>>1866022i am incredibly hideous and i dont even shave and i still get hit on lol
>>1866024a man into you for your looks wont respect you anyways
No. 1866047
File: 1706081940418.jpg (168.62 KB, 799x1100, 1000009533.jpg)
I'm losing my mind. My PMDD ussd to be manageable with just magnesium, but it seems like it stopped working and I'm crying at work, I'm feeling worthless, I'm having thoughts of quitting my job and breaking up with my bf, as well as paranoid thoughts and this morning I woke up from a horrible nightmare. I only have 6 days until my period but I have no idea how I will manage until then
No. 1866054
LMAO at me for thinking men had a heart
I had this """friend""" who seemed oddly interested in me and constantly inviting me, going out of his way to study with me
Naively, I thought "wow.. some people in this world are willing to make effort to be my friend..? This guy must really like me"
EVERYTIME someone is too nice, remember you're getting fucked over some way alright?
Anyways, recently he slided in my DM telling me "there's a girl I like…" OK.. "It's your sister, I was afraid to tell you because I was afraid you'd think I'm using you to get cclose to her or something…"
Anyways I told him, because my sister lives abroad, that I thought this relationship is not a good idea ; besides she has a boyfriend already
So he started being less and less close to me, sometimes he'd still come and we'd talk, but everytime we spoke he kept asking me questions about my sister, her boyfriend, my relationship with her, here and there
Then recently I learned that everything he asked me was told right back to her, in a way telling my sister everything I thought of her behind my back (although most of it she was already aware) was his way to get "close" to her
So my sister is upset with me thanks to him now (because he made it look like I'm talking about her behind her back)
I felt so hurt and betrayed, I told him I wouldn't tell him anything about her again but I was fine with continuing to study together
He told me "no thanks" and I haven't heard of him ever since
I feel so DISGUSTED
Men will come and say women are manipulative liars, but I've never been plain USED this way by a woman lmao(integrate)
No. 1866061
>>1866060Yeah I should have, but I thought "OK he's my friend, he happens to have a crush on my sister, I shouldn't be paranoid"
I didn't think away that the main point of our friendship was that, I thought it was a side event
How naive I am lol
No. 1866064
>>1866054Anyways, moral of the story
1. I'm not special, nobody is going to go out of their way for me unless they're trying to get something from me
2. I shouldn't introduce my pretty sister to male friends, it's a recipe for disaster
3. If I am friendless, it's not because I'm dumb, insecure, paranoid or whatever ; it's because people are actually bad for me for most
No. 1866065
>>1866064Another moral of the story : when someone tells you "I was afraid you'd think X, Y and Z about it", when confessing something awkward to you (like "I was afraid to tell you because I was afraid you'd think I'm using you")
It usually means some part of them KNOWS they're doing it and they're tryign to see if you'd be fine with it or forgive it
No. 1866114
>>1866101ah, sorry for the misjudgment and assuming the worst then, you're right!
also I think she really needs to stay away from them, but not sure how much we can convince her of that.
No. 1866166
>>1866160I'm guessing you must have been 10 yo then
nonnie and your parents didn't let you, 'cause it was so mainstream you looked like a dumbass if you couldn't discuss it back then. Also, how would someone know it's terrible without watching it? That's circular logic.
No. 1866168
>>1866138How do I "network"?
I'm a loner and I'm focused on getting good grades and not socializing at all, and I don't really know how to change that
I do have coworkers (I'm in med school and we have shifts at the hospital), should I try being nicer to them?
I have no idea how this networking thing could work
No. 1866172
>>1866171is she really singing all day long?
if she is only singing for a few hours a day then realize you are being petty and she has the right to enjoy herself a little bit ; buy noise cancelling muffs or earbuds
if she is singing all day long you should talk to her about it nicely, tell her to please reduce the volume or stop entirely
No. 1866176
>>1866174then you should tell her about it
if she doesn't stop with a simple talk, try repeteadly telling her to stop singing and maybe the habit will wear off
my neighbor is kind of the same except he's gaming all day long ; I can't really say much because he's not that loud but I constantly hear his humming from the wall against which my desk is…
I have no choice but to wear ear muffs all day which is giving me repeated otitis, so I wouldn't recommend
You are lucky it's your mom so you can tell her about it less awkwardly but it really depends on her personality
No. 1866179
>>1866176the thing is that I don't think I can. I've tried to hint several times (like saying "sorry but I'd like to listen to the music" or "I have a headache and would really like for it to be quiet", and putting in headphones whenever she does it around me) but if I ever confront her about something she goes crazy and plays the
victim/becomes verbally
abusive so I'm a bit scared to tell her straight up
I do use headphones/earplugs a lot of the time now but it isn't fun and I'm afraid of wax buildup lol
No. 1866187
File: 1706094197309.jpg (215.52 KB, 1114x1500, 6000201769613.jpg)
>>1866179ntayrt but i have to wear foam ear plugs for work and you can get ear cleaner solution to clean your ears in case you're super worried nona
No. 1866229
File: 1706098110719.jpeg (360.34 KB, 750x747, IMG_6062.jpeg)
I wish I could find peace and love in my heart but I really hate this one basic pick me who unfortunately is in my life. I hope her partner cheats on her smug ass inshallah.
No. 1866242
File: 1706100083335.jpg (16.24 KB, 446x500, EsmbE--U4AAS4FD.jpg)
I don't really understand why some people assume anyone who's lost weight or is eating a diet different from their own must be talking about it all the time. For me, weight and specific/intentional diets are personal and embarrassing topics, but that's never stopped other people from commenting on mine, sometimes rudely. I got a lot of weird criticism from people around me when my body started changing and I stopped eating junk food, but whenever I vent online how some "friends" and family members started making jabs at me, there's usually a couple of angry responses vehemently insisting I must've brought all the comments on myself by going on and on about food and weight loss like an anachan or proselytizer. It makes no sense to me and just sounds cringy.
Is it just that normies talk about their own bodies/food all the time, and they believe that if your lifestyle changes, that's all the more reason to talk about it openly? Like, is putting all your business out there something so innate to some people that they can't comprehend others not doing it? I don't get it.
No. 1866247
>>1866226I want to pick up drawing
I want to travel
I want to make friends
I want to pick up crochet
No. 1866254
>>1866239I'm on two regional are we dating the same guy fb groups and my timeline is regularly filled now with women arguing over ugly men and pick mes running to the men with screenshots of other women outting them for DV charges. One dude pleaded guilty to GBH and his best mate is in the comments saying the
victim deserved it and pushed him to his limit and PM me hun for the real story. Not surprising the women who do it are terminally single with multiple kids and look like they have a congenital condition.
No. 1866286
>>1866280the worst is I kind of made that mistake already once and I made it again
I just feel really stupid..?
I hope one day my situation really changes
I feel like unless I move out from my parent's place, I'll only ever get to date lowlife scum ; because I can't really date properly due to my parents, I always meet the most frustrated men ever online, I can't have a "real" social life and the loneliness drives me insane
2 more years to go before I can move out
I don't know if I can take it anymore
No. 1866290
>>1866285that's true, that's what I tried to do at first
but it felt like I only had two options : leaving him or doing the degrading thing
I guess the option was leaving him
but I'm so sheltered and lonely
and the fact I get to feel so much shame for what I do to ease the loneliness, drives me further away from "real life" people who wouldn't understand, which increases my loneliness
I don't know how to break out of it
(integrate) No. 1866462
File: 1706120314379.png (857.64 KB, 600x900, IMG_1561.png)
Cba finding the clear template of this meme, but there's a troon like this in my class who literally acts this way dress this way and has the most obnoxious loud seth rogan tier laugh in existence.
No. 1866498
File: 1706122531184.gif (3.63 MB, 273x232, 1672294532862272.gif)
I need to take control of my life but I'm too fucking tired to even function and just don't care anymore.
No. 1866524
I just found out that all of "best friend's" friends are sick of her bullshit too and so close to dropping her and didn't include her in any of their hangouts during the last con they all went to and I feel extremely vindicated by it. She is someone I've been very close to for 10 years now, and someone I truly considered my best friend and the love of my life, but in the last few years I think she's been changing for the worst… I've kept mostly quiet about it except to my own close friends who are not in this friend circle. I thought maybe I was just being a bitch. My best friend has lost so many friends over the years, and this whole time I have always sided with her. But the latest friendship "break ups" have been leaving a bad taste in my mouth towards her. I wonder if she has always been this way, or if she's truly been changing for the worst. I've been thinking this whole time that I have to be there for her, because she is my best friend… but I no longer think she is a good person anymore. Hearing that many of her own close friends are avoiding her is making me realize that maybe I'm not going crazy, I'm not the only one who thinks she's not a good person anymore.
I dread leaving this friendship, but my own friends are right- I have little to nothing to lose. I used to be worried about her bad mouthing me- but I was never close to her friends anyway, so who cares? It's difficult to end friendships with her (if you try to slowly pull away and let the friendship fizzle out, she continuously confronts you about being a bad friend and not hanging out with her or talking to her, if you tell her straight up that you don't want to be friends, she takes offense to that and says it's weird and you should've just let things fizzle out- I have quite literally seen both of these scenarios play out multiple times over the past 10 years), but I will just simply ignore and ghost her. There is no winning in this situation and I feel like shit deciding to end a friendship with someone who I have truly held so near and dear to my heart, but I dread chatting with her, much less even hanging out with her.
I feel like I still have an obligation to be a good friend to her, to try and help her change for the better and see that what she does is what's driving people away, to be the voice of reason to her even if she will bite back at me for it… but I've seen how she deals with people and how she's reacted to people before… and I simply don't want to deal with it. So I am a bad friend and a bad person. So be it.
No. 1866537
>>1866368kek sorry nona
>>1866380troons aren't used to female characters being well written because all they watch is anime where the female characters are only there to look pretty and have very little backstory (not all of them but the ones they tend to like). despite heather having a very deep and meaningful story in the game that is focused on her experience of being a teenage girl they miss the point entirely by fetishising and sexualising her.
>>1866386i feel you nona. i actually wasn't involved in the fandom up until 2 years ago, i had been interested in the games for several years and wanted to meet more fans. i really regret it because i've never gotten into any arguments with anyone but just asking a troon "why do you headcanon her as trans?" they don't have any real reason. they just say shit to say shit.
very relieved to see that there are SH fans out there who agree with me, i've been scared to say anything about it. even my friends who like silent hill are way too deep into their TRA bullshit and discussing it with them just ends up in them missing the point of every game and it spiralling into "i think this character is trans", it's awful.
No. 1866546
File: 1706126222329.jpeg (189.66 KB, 750x1219, IMG_3721.jpeg)
Family member took their obese dog to the vet. It was peeing inside, seemingly on accident, and constantly licking its junk. I heard on the phone family saying that the dog has been eating too much and they’re trying to cut back but the vet said “oh no he looks great!”. Also said nothing is wrong with the dog. I absolutely do not trust this vet because he is clearly not ok, and he is not just chubby he’s a fucking fatass and gets no exercise. Picrel is a funny post by a projecting fatty I found when googling “vet lying about obese dog”
No. 1866571
>>1866546My entire life I was always very "Just leave people alone, why can't we just get along?!" but I'm finally at my breaking point where I'm so sick of hearing about "fat-shaming", "kink-shaming", treating the word "transphobic" as if it's a bad thing.
We need to fucking BRING BACK SHAME as a society. Back when we lived in our little huts in our villages, if someone was a creepy pervert degenerate, or encouraging gross/unhealthy behaviors, they were rightly shunned and ostracized from the community because their behavior is harmful to the collective whole. Our society is crumbling now because of lack of shame and no fear of punishment. Theft is rampant where I live, because there's no shame in being a thief and they're hardly punished, either. If more people were embarrassed about being obese, our population would be healthier. If more men were shamed for being mentally ill perverts, they wouldn't be applauded for wearing skirts with their balls hanging out in front of kids. It's all so tiresome.
No. 1866585
>>1866571I used to be a huge believer of Live and Let Live, but now with so much happening, I can't. I used to be okay with trannies, but there are SO many. All they do is effect how women are seen and heard. I am a big gamer, but now seeing how trannies have infested gaming spaces is the worst. I cant deal with shit men who think they are better than women, but I'm exhausted with women who pretend men are not men. Men will always be men, men will never convince me that they are trans other than a fetish. It's pathetic.
I used to be okay with safe spaces for everyone and inclusivity, but now I am back to gate keeping. Women desperately need to start gate keeping again, or else we will never have spaces. It felt nice to see more people on IG calling out idiots who think JKR is transphobic, when all she said was women are being erased from history, which is true. Look at men in sports trying to weasel their way into women's sports. They're bullies. All of them. Men will never be women.
No. 1866595
File: 1706129412283.jpeg (122.41 KB, 620x775, IMG_6682.jpeg)
i hate to vent here because i wish i could figure out my troubles by myself but sometimes it is so hard. today i took the generic form of my medicine (which i intend to lower the dose of so instead i just opened it and dumped some powder out) and it drove me into a fit of paranoia. it doesnt help that i slept in later than i wanted to today so now i have little to show for the day because the paranoia caused me to cry and panic for three hours and i feel so unmotivated to do any assignments or exercise i just want to reset the day.
i feel so out of control im eating toast and crying i can hardly focus on the computer screen for my assignments and my brain feels like mush. this medicine is not helping lately but i need it because it does help my focus and childhood binging. maybe i should just drink tons of coffee instead but this amphetamine induced paranoid hasnt happened to me for 6 years so i dont know what the fuck caused it i even had therapy today…i just feel so mad at myself i wanted to do so much today and i jsut feel defeated. maybe i still have time to reset the day but i dont know if or how ill get some focus for my assignments.
i have so much i should be practicing and doing but then when im too kind and relax with myself i dont get as much done. yet if i expect too much i burn out. i wish i had more energy and intelligence i feel fucking fried i feel so stressed and im not even working right now just doing college so i have it easier than i used to.
how do i even go about resolving this? its such a long process with so many steps. i feel like im taking one step back…i am just so drained lately and its unjustified.
i miss being more structured and productive but then i burnt out. i miss doing all of my steps and hobbies without a care in the world i wish i could do that again minus the stress and anxiety its killing me and makes me fucking retarded!
No. 1866635
>>1866621I'm average height and weight but my body is just so fucking wide. Like that gorilla skeleton meme, literally me. I remember seeing myself reflected in a window in uni standing next to my classmate, her hips were quite literally half the size of mine and I felt so fucking crushed because it wasn't even from fat. No matter how much weight I lose I literally can't be petite and small and cute. And that's all I want because all clothes look so much better on petite and skinny women, while on me everything looks dumpy.
But then I also hate myself for thinking the ideal woman is the smallest and weakest possible version of a woman. Like being tiny and fragile is something to aspire to when in reality it's probably the least "survivable" body in nature.
No. 1866641
>>1866626Yeah it really feels shitty when you are like one head taller than most other women, my mom is even taller than me and she doesn't give a fuck (sometimes saying things like "It's everyone else that got a vertical problem" kek) but I hate it so much. Went back to uni this fall and I'm taller than even some of the guys and - like you described - feel like an ugly ogre next to the other women.
>>1866633Skirts are such a struggle, I wish it was more common with cute midi-length skirts so we got a good middle ground where we can show a bit of leg without also flashing our entire ass.
Also want to add that I'm so tired of getting comments like "but you are tall enough to be a model!" or people assuming I was the "tough and cool girl" in my school as a teen simply based on my height, and just stares at me in disbelief when I tell them that one of the main things I got bullied for was my height. I swear to god I just want to punch a wall whenever I get these comments.
No. 1866690
>>1866585I wholeheartedly agree. I had empathy for trannies for a while thinking "Well, I guess it's alright if they just want to be left alone". But no, they've unraveled so much progress that we've made as women and I'm so angry about it. And they've turned women against each other! Instead of banding together for our own spaces, other women are making excuses and holding the door open for these grown men taking over everything and saying HOW DARE WE not be okay with it. It's awful! And same, I literally cannot find
a single space for woman-only gamers other than LC. Every single place for "girls", online and irl, is absolutely overwhelmingly infested with trannies.
No. 1866693
>>1866621me too nona. i'm always looking down at people and it makes me feel like a giant. it kind of bugs me when people say shit like "i wish i was tall", i just assume they're lying because who would
want to be a giant compared to their peers? like sure, it sounds fun in theory but in real life it sucks and makes me feel like a freak when i'm a solid 5" taller than everyone else around me.
>>1866641i was just going to say i hate the "youre the perfect height for modeling" comments too, as if that means anything when you don't also have a supermodel body and face.
No. 1866717
>>1866703Oh yeah, I won't deny that. Note that I'm not saying this to diminish your own experience, but it is definitely easier to get your clothes tailored than making something bigger but I also understand that it's a pretty unnecessary extra cost/effort and not worth doing it for every piece you buy. So I sympathise with your situation as well, one of my best friends is very petite and has a lot of similar anxiety with finding clothes and getting carried off (hell, it happened a lot when we used to go to conventions because creeps treated her like a doll to throw around however they pleased).
As you said, grass is greener on the other side and it's easy to long for something you can never have.
No. 1866726
>>1866713At least your in proportion lol. I'm 4'11. I was thinking about trying to hit the gym hard to match my head but I'd end up looking like a fantasy dwarf woman. When I'm shopping I try clothes on I think I'd like then have to go home and check the website to see if they have stuff that fits me. I have had to get gloves, socks and stuff in kids sizes which sucks but hey it's cheaper. Hats though… always gotta go for l.
>A freak creatureNothing freak about it. We're all different and awesome.
No. 1866750
File: 1706139058156.jpeg (125.58 KB, 500x640, IMG_0739.jpeg)
I’m so horny and I need cock. I’ve been horny ever since I can remember yet I’m still a virgin at 20 bc I’m extremely picky but I don’t think I can last much longer. I’m so fucking horny I can’t think about much else. I don’t know what to do, I just want pretty boy dick and then I’ll be fine. But idk how
No. 1866801
>>1866750I'm in a boat except I'm not a virgin and several years older and been celibate since Covid
It sucks, I just want someone to fuck me who's actually attractive and not gonna give me diseases but my pickiness will be the death of me
(learn to integrate) No. 1866898
File: 1706146149762.jpg (52.77 KB, 645x641, fe8b91708382e8e182efcfc5a6a1ca…)
>decided to stalk social media of the girls who bullied me at school and basically all of them look haggard and old as fuck despite being only late 20s and/or they married balding manlets meanwhile I still look 18, I have time and money for my hobbies and cute things and many kind of men hit on me including men younger than me. Despite my spergy nature people are nice to me and gift me shit for free because I look youthful and act innocent
There is some poetic justice to it. They deserved to look like shit and fuck ugly balding men with undeveloped jaws and birth their ugly spawn. Meanwhile God allowed me to live a second youth because my first youth was wasted on abuse at home and school
No. 1866912
File: 1706146799204.jpeg (36.86 KB, 636x474, IMG_0411.jpeg)
>do you have any advice on how to make better digital line art
>all you can do is draw more and then it will get better
No. 1866918
>>1866898You honestly sound kinda pathetic. lmaoo
>I still look 18Oh please
(infighting) No. 1866920
File: 1706147030281.png (761.64 KB, 937x555, proko.PNG)
>>1866912Relatable. I'm trying this ever since a nona in the art salt thread linked it and I'm already learning a lot.
https://online-courses.club/proko-drawing-basics-by-stan-prokopenko-1-74/ No. 1866932
>>1866909Well, bullying leaves long lasting scars on many people, unfortunately, not everyone is able to get over it. I still sometimes have nightmares about the abuse I endured at school or at home. Doesn't change the fact I get pleasure from the fact I look better than my bullies now
>>1866918Yeah people keep asking me for my ID and say they thought I was like 18-19 and 20 year old guys hit on me assuming I'm their peer. My female coworkers often ask me about my skin care routine because they don't get how is my skin so smooth and plump but I literally don't do anything, it's just good genes
No. 1866945
>>1866898>I still look 18This is not the flex you think it is. Also
>They deserved to look like shit and fuck ugly balding men with undeveloped jaws and birth their ugly spawn.reads like sour grapes
No. 1866958
>>1866938>>1866943Can't you read? I didn't say late 20s
is haggard and old. I said they look haggard and old despite being only in their late 20s. They look over 35 to me but not in a healthy way, they just look like people who drank way too much alcohol, smoked, didn't take care of their bodies, lots of sun damage etc. I have 35 year old coworkers who look better and younger than them. I think it's ironic and funny they look like shit now because they used to bully me for my looks (and other things like the fact I was poor etc.)
>>1866945Reads like an ex bully bitter over the fact that an ex
victim makes fun of her abusers kek
>>1866950>>1866956Weird, they don't ask my friend for her ID and she's my age
No. 1866966
>>1866938It's probably karmic justice, they went throu the same they did to you but maybe even worse.
The others probably felt called out by your post
No. 1866970
>>1866962>copeWe don't have to cope with
your delusions, babygee.
(infighting) No. 1866974
File: 1706149123476.jpg (126.51 KB, 1080x462, baseddad.jpg)
>>1866967>I also think it might be time to stop creeping on themI did it literally once and that's all I needed.
>you sound like you might spiral again if you start looking old by your own standards in a few yearsI used
their standards, not mine, to insult
them. It's actually sad I have to specify this. I won't spiral because even at 45 I will still look better than my bullies kek
>>1866969>>1866970Feel called out or wanna pretend you're morally superior? Cope and seethe. Anyway, all bullies deserve to get colon cancer.
No. 1867002
>>1866978I feel valued for stuff like my art that people want to pay me for, or my general knowledge that always exceeded the general knowledge of my peers, and
also for my looks. I don't have to always be young and cute, it only matters that I will always look better than my bullies. At 50 I will stalk them again and post here just to spite you kek
>>1866983This. I believe that the only people who are like "geezz get over it" are the ex bullies themselves.
Fuck, I STILL see adult bullies at my work place. They don't bully me but like newbie very young workers who are socially stunted and shit. It's a way more subtle way of bullying but I always criticize such behavior and I even totally cut myself off from one cunt for her behavior towards others and she was angry about it because she wanted to befriend me. Bitch I will never befriend a scum like you. She wanted me to partnake in her backstabbing, gossiping and bullying too. I despise such people.
No. 1867029
>>1867026Just say that you think
victims of bullying are not allowed to hate on their bullies despite years in therapy, instead of pretending like you care about insulting some random (for you) people from facebook.
No. 1867043
File: 1706152193423.jpg (64.91 KB, 956x960, 1616856493906.jpg)
>>1867037Why do you keep blabbing on about bullies when you know damn well any grown woman boasting about how young she looks is going to get dragged. As they deserve for perpetuating misogynistic garbage and being delusional.
No. 1867048
>>1867043If that's the main massage you got from my post, that's your problem.
Anyway happy cancer and ugly balding scrotes to bullies.
No. 1867049
it took me so long to work up the courage to care about and become passionate about something again, for the first time in years I was happy. Then it was all revealed to be lies, it all turned out worse than I ever could have imagined even if you had asked me to predict the darkest version of events. I don't have it in me to care about anything ever again. In the months since, I do nothing but eat, sleep, and perform tasks like a robot at work. I watch and read endless medical documentaries and case reports that I don't really absorb and quickly forget, just to distract myself in the few hours I spend awake and not at work.
I tried so hard to understand what happened, but it's just not possible. I will never be able to wrap my mind around how it could be that things turned out that way, no matter how hard I think about it, from no matter what angle I consider things from, it will never make sense to me. And because it just spins around in my head forever with no resolution and no explanation, all i can do is put empty meaningless distractions in my face to prevent me from thinking about it so I can pretend to function. But it's always there at the core of my heart, and I am sick of the distractions.
People suggest to find something new to become passionate about, but every time I've done that in the past I have been so deeply hurt, blindsided, and scarred that I simply don't have the will or ability to trust or care about anything anymore. I have learned that nothing is ever what it seems, and nothing is safe to give your heart to. Not even the most innocent seeming things.
I don't have any ideas for how I will get through the rest of my life like this. I think I will probably just run on autopilot as a shell of a human until I naturally expire. It will probably come quicker than it seems, the weeks already move quickly past me and blur together in my periphery. I am not present anymore.
No. 1867141
File: 1706159231955.jpg (96.61 KB, 950x917, 1000002371.jpg)
Kek @ people who spend 12 hours a day plus on their devices, three different Twitter accounts because they are narcissists incapable of shutting tf up, etc. always posture about how they dont care. Why even bother lying like that, everyone knows it's bullshit. Couldn't shut the fuck up for anything just annoying and wrong and loud all the time.
No. 1867147
File: 1706160362865.jpg (11.75 KB, 556x552, images-1.jpg)
I keep having nightmares where I'm raped. In those dreams I'm always powerless, maybe also innocent. Sometimes I'm my own age or a bit younger. But I'm always coerced, bought, forced, confused, and the latest one was was very violent and it had to do with kidnapping.
I think I might had been abused as a child but I'm not sure. I vaguely remember something about a pink bathroom and pissing myself. I don't know if I'm making this memory up either. I started masturbating too young and as a small child had signs of having been abused back then though. Still can't remember a real real rape event. Some people might say these dreams are normal but they always come out of nowhere.
I've hurt myself before when the disgusting "arousal" sensation comes in. I have BPD so I'm not the sanest. Today I got disgusted at reading the synopsis for the newest "art house" fetish movie Poor Things, which is very fucking gross and shouldn't exist, and I got bad. I got somewhat psychotic and then I felt the gross sensation, the unwarranted arousal that I always get in my rape dreams. I wanted to die. I didn't do anything about it though. I let it pass. But I wanted to harm myself pretty bad.
I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do about these things anymore. If anyone has any idea of what to do or where this is coming from please tell me.
No. 1867159
Why did my professor give the class a hand out just so he can have us convert it to a pdf and submit it online? Why do this, just take the physical copies that were already printed??? Learn 2 tehc guy…
>>1866247Do all of it!!! I just finished crocheting a sweater that's taken me months to finish and you have no idea how satisfied I feel.
Partially off topic but if I start a yarn crafts thread in /ot/ will I get yelled at? I like you nonas but some of you have some unresolved anger issues
No. 1867231
File: 1706171233799.png (397.16 KB, 960x540, 3yjodc.png)
It's so hard to feel like a grown woman in front of my dad when he makes me the target of his narc sessions. I went from having screaming matches with him in my teens to just trying to tune him out in present day, but the part that sucks the most is that I inevitably start crying sooner or later during every episode that happens. I don't know if it's just some stupid fucking childhood trauma response or what, but it makes me feel so silly and weak. 9/10 times I'm not even actually upset enough to be crying, I'd feel nothing inside but the waterworks turn on for no reason. I don't have this reaction with ANYONE I know other than that fucker, it really bruises my pride and makes me feel like I'll never truly progress past being a little girl with no self control. It was so bad this evening that I finally broke and relapsed for the first time in years. I also cut way deeper than I intended to on accident, and now I'm sitting here with a bunch of napkins stuck around the gaping hole in my arm with a pad. I wasn't at all prepared for this and there's no way in hell that I'm driving myself to a hospital at 12am for this shit. I don't vent this kind of stuff to my friends, and my partner goes to bed earlier than me because of her job. I honestly don't even want to burden her more by my dumbass being menhera anyways. I feel like such a waste of space, nonnas
No. 1867257
>>1867147Extreme blog incoming. I don't have an answer for you but I feel the same way often. I did get sexually assaulted when I was 13 and was exposed to hardcore pornography at 11 but before that (long before) I was super weird. Like, I got a
sexual enjoyment from cartoon violence and the concept of necrophilia as a 5 year old, and I drew and wrote a lot of very uncomfortable things, all before I even knew about the Internet or sex at all (at that age I still thought that women got pregnant when the bride and groom kissed at their wedding). For most of my life I've just resolved I was born as a freak of a human, but sometimes I wonder if I saw something when I was very little and the memory didn't form right (?) and it just integrated its way into my head. My step-grandfather went to court for
child molestation when I was young, but I wasn't involved nor knew anything about it at the time.
(He also got the charges dismissed because of bullshit and then the family still let him around all of the younger kids including myself afterwards, but that's a huge can of worms.) It's difficult to explain and I don't think I'll ever get a real answer. But you're not alone and for what it's worth, I also had those kinds of dreams often a long time ago but they went away after I cut all degeneracy out of my life and simply quit being around any man I felt even a little unsafe being near.
No. 1867289
File: 1706180059194.png (484.09 KB, 564x846, image_2024-01-25_215601470.png)
I feel terribly lonely, but I can't do anything about it because I'm too retarded and schizo to meet new people. All my current "friends" I do not give a shit about, they could die tomorrow and I don't think I'd care, and I feel like an awful person for thinking like that.
I know I don't have autism or anything like that because I got tested a million times because of my stupid munchie mother, I do theorise that I might have minor tbi from getting punched in the head often growing up (which would explain the persistent headaches I've been having) which could be causing all my retardedness.
I also hate these weird periods in my life, where after feeling absolutely nothing after several weeks or months I suddenly get depressed and suicidal or manic and paranoid to the point where I'm believing that people are standing around my (very rural) house waiting for me to sleep so they can kill me.
Anyways, I'm sick of being around people I don't care for/hate but I can't cut them off because I know that would probably be the end of my social life. I miss having actual geniune friends but I don't know maybe dealing with me is too much for anyone.
No. 1867299
File: 1706181163670.jpg (67.09 KB, 1125x1046, 1000016356.jpg)
That talk about crushing on your fellow brain rotted women in fandom spaces really hurts because I been going through that too and I relate to a lot of it, the intimacy of sharing the stuff you make so you already know what each of you are into. Idk I also have always just become easily infatuated with people and am probably just overly excited about having friends again, but this shit sucks. I keep having the most retarded fantasies of us dating and fucking. Someone put me out of my misery.
No. 1867308
>>1867293Not op but it's a little dangerous to go on the maybe it's a repressed memory path. Psychologists have tried it, and the issue is that you can absolutely create a memory from nothing and start believing it as a vivid memory.
Check out 'repressed memories satanic' on Google. It's people made to believe they were sexual abused during satanic rituals
No. 1867314
File: 1706182283364.jpg (175.55 KB, 1284x856, ezgif-1-7654ddc641.jpg)
I just want to skip the next 30 years and go straight to, not giving a shit, Lucille Bluth mode
No. 1867316
Whenever I need her when I'm very distressed, which has been often dues to bad decisions and family drama, my mother always acts like me venting is somehow attacking her?
Like, she starts being all combative against me and offending me like, I was complaining about moving to the wrong house, too noise and close to the airport to the point I can't sleep, and issues with some renovations the place needed, and she then made backhanded comments on how I should move to the countryside "since you don't talk to anyone anyone", like I was a hikkikomori or something and not the daughter that pays her fucking rent?
Another comment she made was that I should get a housekeeper or something and questioned if I "even know how to paint a wall" as if that's rocket science, because apparently she thinks I'm that unable to do stuff by myself.
Fuck, I know I should not rely on her but I can't get over how bitchy those comments were. She's so ungrateful, I don't have any obligation to pay her rent for her, fucking hell I hate my parents and family so muc.
No. 1867353
>>1867350Lucky. They are impossible to get here.
Have a blessed day.
No. 1867385
>>1867308I'll take a look at it, i watched a documentary where
victims would talk about how their recovered memories of abuse at early age was discredited by a institution that was literally formed by the people who got accused of abuse due to the recovered memories, in the video one of the guys that is part of the institution talks about how no one is able to remember abuse that happened when they were very small, and that touching a kid is just for curiosity, KEK.
Well, the nonna already has strange symptons that lead me to believe she may have dealed with something that led her to be "sexually deviant" from an early age. It's hard to believe that for some reason she had an child molester grandfather, as a girl, had disordered sexual ideas, but nothing happened? Just seems like a strange coincidence.
No. 1867400
>>1867293It sounds logical but I also have heard of what
>>1867308 is talking about and I just don't feel like I could ever trust a recovered memory. In addition my grandfather's been dead for many years now, so well there just isn't a real way of knowing. I don't believe I was molested that young because frankly I don't have any memory of it and maybe it's just better that way… Although I wish I had an explanation for everything instead of just thinking something is wrong with my soul lol.
>>1867385 I know what you mean by strange coincidence. I also have a few other questionable moids in my family to varying degrees (tranny, porn use in public as well as near family, another accused pedophile etc) and I could spend time pointing fingers but it would just tear family apart and wouldn't even lead to anything most likely. I wish I could've talked about it to someone, but the thought of saying anything about this to my family is so mortifying. I've tried to talk to a couple (really close) friends over the years just a little bit about it but both times they balked at what I was saying like I was crazy. The only other times I've heard of something similar is in media when they're portraying a "slutty character" who says she started
masturbating at 7 and also doing crack and whatnot. So it kind of feels like a superposition of "something is just wrong with me fundamentally" or "something happened to/I saw something I don't remember" and I don't like either explanation. So I guess I'll know if somehow some way I find out something happened, but since there's no real way to prove the inverse, I'll just continue believing nothing happened and try to not worry about it lol. If you reached the end of this massive wall, thanks for reading
No. 1867432
File: 1706195205010.gif (847.96 KB, 400x225, FwHb641.gif)
>>1867430WELL I'M VENTING ABOUT FACE NAPPIES
No. 1867437
>>1867423I don't have opinion on if anon needs to wear a mask to her interview, if she got the job then good for her but wearing a non-rated face mask does not prevent covid infection.
A covid virion is far too small to be blocked by a paper mask. Masks with a rating of N99, FFP2 or higher are required to block the inhalation of covid viria. The myth that paper masks stop covid infection is dangerous because it gives people a false sense of protection.
No. 1867445
File: 1706196399452.jpg (216.87 KB, 1300x1020, you-already-on-the-drugs-girl-…)
I had a good hearted kek watching tiktok videos about the fact that touching a paper placed on your car could be dangerous. 'Cause it could be laced with fentanyl. So traffickers could then get your limp body in their van, somehow?
Wth, is the war on drug so bad in the US nobody has any idea how it works? Let's say those traffickers actually left you a medical grade fentanyl patch still nice and sealed up and you opened it and, on a whim, you decided to apply to your body, there, on the parking lot, and waited until you were feeling whoozy. Maybe. Sure.
But girl, if you think traffickers are wasting a fancy medical grade patch worth actual money just so they can get you, you're just delulu about your own worth.
No. 1867464
>>1867437i’m wearing an n95.
>>1867456because it’s flu-season
No. 1867469
File: 1706198072241.jpeg (11.79 KB, 275x274, 1639118933381.jpeg)
>>1867400>>1867147>>1867257Ayrt and I also had sexual fantasies and started masturbating at 3-4 years of age. I remember being 12 and thinking things nobody should at that age. About rape and men and stuff. This is embarassing for me I'm sorry. This is why the concept of the movie poor things made me feel like shit.
I don't know, this and my constant rape nightmares confuse me a lot. It's so fucking gross when it happens.
No. 1867478
>>1867475I can't. I'm always homeless and have nobody decent in my life.
Right now. I'm sleeping in the house of a guy that rapes me. I'm not attracted to him physically or emotionally. I just don't have a family and I'm physically and mentally ill. I can't get a decent boyfriend. Even though I am fairly good looking and not stupid
No. 1867492
File: 1706200768572.jpeg (138.58 KB, 800x450, IMG_9349.jpeg)
>catastrophize about friend not contacting me because of tech issues and start thinking it's an excuse to let me down easy
>it was actually tech issues and friend initiates contact again
many such cases. my mind is so often stuck in a spiral of shame and self-hatred and it's a bitch to get out of. I can experience a ton of good interactions and my brain will file it into a "exception to the rule" vault while taking any negative or even neutral experience as proof that I in fact suck and that the world is awful and wants to hurt me
this isn't really a vent though because I'm slowly starting to see this pattern as something retarded. I am in fact allowed to pick myself up and try again and even with all my flaws and limitations I don't deserve to rot and die just because I flounder sometimes.
I hope I can learn to give myself enough grace to recover from years of maladaptive behaviors and suffering and that eventually this will extend to giving others grace and love as well. the world may suck, but that's an even bigger reason to not be one of the things making it suck or at the very least to not be another foot kicking me down
>picrel: literally me
No. 1867517
>>1867445It is funny how stupid they are but those types of videos piss me off. Spreading retarded paranoia that makes people afraid should be banned. Then if you say it's really not that serious and it's ok to touch things or walk outside alone people will dogpile you with comments like
ackchually my cousin's niece's stepdog DIED this way it's super danjerous! Makes me insane.
No. 1867521
>>1867482She will continue to rot then. Forgiveness is a hard thing to do, but it's not for the people who need to be forgiven, it's for the person who's forgiving to finally get peace from it.
I hope she finds peace.
No. 1867539
Third migraine this week. They last on average 10 hours. Thats 30 hours of unproductively; of throbbing pain, nausea, vomiting. 30 hours of dark rooms and delayed work, dishes piling up and tears.
My insurance finally approved the injection meds that should help, but didnt approve the loading dose (2 pens). Because 1 pen cost 1,000 fucking dollars. Thank god insurance is covering most of the cost.
Now I wait till next month’s refill, in order to take the loading doses consecutively. My doctor said with, with optimism, I should see a drastic improvement in 3 months.
3 months of migraines, averaging 3 migraines a week. The thought of 36 migraines ahead of me… 360 hours of throbbing, vomiting, cancelled plans…
im so tired nonnas, Im so fucking tired.
No. 1867548
>>1867534god I hope that lady isn't really a cop…
By the way that account is super weird kek. most of it is exactly the kind of shit that pisses me off, some of it is funny and some of it is straight up women getting harassed by men.
No. 1867558
>>1867534Usually dumb ass shit doesn't bother me too bad on Tiktok but this kinda stuff actually hides real problems. It reminds me of the "syringe epidemic". Loads of Tiktoks saying that someone can brush passed you with a needle and knock you out. Very few cases of it actually happening (
https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/spiking-advice/spiking/spiking-myths/#Needle). The real issue is with men slipping something into your drink. So now women aren't focused on keeping on eye on there drinks and worried about some phantom Hitman 47 boogieman.
No. 1867571
File: 1706206277318.jpg (21.83 KB, 400x400, HKJd2upR_400x400.jpg)
>>1867540Thank you nona! The shoes are pretty low-key, the platforms aren't that high (a little bit higher than boots with thick soles, but enough to be considered platforms) but that's enough for me and they look really good on! Best purchase I've done in a while and I can't wait for spring to come around so I can use them daily