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I wish it was easier for me to make friends, specially with other women. Right now my only friend is a guy from my class and I honestly feel like a bad feminist because I can never click with women, I also dont want to complain about this him because it would be like saying I dont value his friendship.
I feel like my first year of college has been such a failure and I cant help but compare myself to the other girls from my class that go on trips together and have a fun friend group (comparing myself to them also makes me feel like a bad feminist kek)
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The fucking pig my mom has been bringing up to our house left the bathroom dirtier in a couple of months than what my dad or my brothers did in years. "He is just simplier than your dad" go to hell, how much effort does it take to don't leave your gross underwear laying around while we have visits?
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looked up an ex best friend after not talking to her for ages, and she just had top surgery. she had been vocal about her issues being obese and autistic prior to that, so it's insane how close she was to actually peaking. what's extra retarded is that she never even fit with any masculine stereotype like a butch or tomboy would. she doesn't come from a privileged background like the rest of the disabled aiden neets she mingles with, and yet she paid to have the surgery abroad because nhs dared question her transness. fucking hell.
My friend oozes internalized misogyny and it’s honestly no wonder that people don’t like her or cut her out of their lives. She’s not pickme in the obvious TRA handmaiden, “sex work is work guise” sort of way. I noticed that she goes out of her way to shit on other women with a frequency and ferocity that I never see her use towards men. She’ll make these random petty comments and they’re always directed at women, whether ones we know irl or random strangers.
We had a debate where she insisted that women are just as guilty as men of committing sexual crimes and that women should be judged by the same criteria after she brought up an anecdote of a cringey girl we went to school with. Ofc she has to include a snide comment about the girls’ weight and attractiveness but she’d never admit that she’s judgmental. I’m not denying women can’t do creepy shit (we’re on lolcow lmfao) but it just boggles my mind how she hyperfixates on these hypothetical female-on-male crimes, as if women are this unseen menace who deserve to be brought to justice, but we all know who commits the vast majority of rapes and violent crimes in real life.
I just cannot fathom expending this much energy to defend scrotes while feeling the need to punch down or nitpick other women. Once, we went to an anime con and the attendees looked and acted exactly how you’d expect a bunch of weebs to act. She had to comment on the other female con-goers - how they stink, they’re socially awkward, they have annoying voices, etc. Some of them looked barely 14 or 15, so literal kids; she’s a grown ass woman. Yeah, it’s cringe but I’m not gonna waste my breath shitting on some random dorky girl having a good time living her best weeb life with her equally autismo mode friends. Goddammit, just let women be women.
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that reminds me, someone I know got top surgery, paid little if not nothing in canada for it. now is begging for money for chin/jaw surgery because doctors lied to her parents when she was a kid about it and she is deformed it is severely impacting her health etc etc. funny how health insurance will cover chopping off your breasts but not fixing your jaw so you don't look like pic related
Things are insane rn but people have always said what you do, all throughout history. And worse things have happened without any dialogue. Shit sucks but it always has and it's even been worse (especially for women) so you're kinda just fearmongering nonny
. Take it a day at a time in your own bubble.
I hate how I'm constantly made to feel incredibly vulnerable. I have a lot of difficulty in opening up and trusting other people and I always have this paranoid voice in the back of my head that always makes me afraid of most other people and automatically assume they have an ulterior motive or bad intentions. I hate being disabled and unable to hide it and always being asked if I'm okay or what's wrong with me, and I hate being completely reliant on others and constantly needing help. I hate being seen as a woman because I always feel like I have to keep my guard up at all times, even around family members and professors, or really any trusted male, because I'm always very afraid of them having bad intentions. Even though I have shelter, medicine, and enough food to eat, I sometimes feel like this life was a hell selected for me personally. Being constantly needing to depend on others yet unable to trust them. I hate that I can't keep up with daily life no matter how hard I try, my body and mind just can't keep up. I miss many days of college because I'm in too much pain or too exhausted to get out of bed and it causes me to fall far behind. It's frustrating too, that I feel an affinity for science and technology and can keep up intellectually in the classes, but it's just too much stress on me physically and with my memory issues. It's like the life I want so badly is just out of reach.
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wow, this entire post resonates with me. i regularly peruse older stuff too – fic especially, i've been going outside of my comfort zone plot/ship/etc.-wise and having a great time. there's so much good stuff on ao3.
here's something from my art folder.>>1544198
i really miss ask blogs. shipping cups too actually, doesn't seem like fandoms do events like that in the current day. if they do they're, as you mentioned, plagued by discourse crap/moralfagging/whatever.>>1544206
even big names like roachpatrol went down that route. absolutely depressing
depends how you go about it. you can be angry at anything but it depends at who/where/what you direct this anger towards. you can be angry all you want and use your anger towards anything but people will really only give a shit when you direct the anger at them. most people usually don't give a shit about others' feelings unless they spill over and become everyone's else problem.
i would only call an issue if it's causing issues in your life like severing relationships or making you do self destructive things.
It also saddens me that most of my post are legit traumatizing to some anons, like, just describing
stuff I went through is enough to get several concerned replies, wish my life wasn't so routinely horrible
I'm sorry nonna, i relate a lot to this feeling because my whole life sounds like a bad tragedy, too. It's so ostracizing in the sense that the only way for people to be ok with my presence is for me to muzzle myself/never open up. I do it quite automatically, never knew anything else, because as soon as i open my mouth to answer any question about my life i only elicit negative emotions in others, and i'm so ashamed of the way i make other people feel awkward or sad, plus it only makes me sad as well that i just got so unlucky with life. It's so embarrassing to be this person that
ruins the mood instantly, you can feel how uneasy people get when you answer their questions and it makes me so self-conscious. Thus when people talk about their family week-end or shit like that, i just keep it light-hearted and centred around them, i forget i even exist because i have nothing positive to add to any conversation about my personal life. But anytime this happens i'm burning of despair inside, asking myself why i couldn't have any simple joy like that, why was i hated so viscerally and abused repeatedly? why was i even born if no one ever, ever wanted me? etc. Stay strong, i don't know what for because most of the time i struggle to find meaning in anything, but we're alive so might as well endure life.
no, that one just irked me. might surprise you, but sometimes the person venting is not the victim
This is vent thread, not tell your victimhood stories thread. >>1544342
I think I somehow triggered
anon with my story or she's just got nothing better to do, she's been replying trying to infight with me.
how am I being a weirdo by simply replying I don't believe in it? you're not shielded from criticism if you post a short winded drivel without much context. infact, you're not shielded from criticism here at all. maybe take a deep breath before you post?
not even on a paid therapy session you should be shielded from criticism, let alone lolcow dot farm
you probably have skinwalkers that also try to sabotage you academically too, sure nonny
, I believe in you.
that's fucking disgusting but unexpected from scrotes in the academia>>1544356
how is she keeping your notes from you? are you forced to work together on projects?
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Fuck Nike, had I known this i would have stopped supporting them a long time ago.I am never buying a single shoe from them again.
what the fuck is wrong with the world
that trans thing apparently has been offered deals by MAC and other brands, I am baffled and have no words
For your sake, I will not disclose it, but again, the memories randomly come to my mind daily, and I cannot see objects or feel textures without feeling dread. I'm seeing a therapist tho, getting treatment for CPSTD, I'm doing better than years ago I must admit, I'm no longer in danger and my life is relatively peaceful nowadays, fortunately >>1544317
I understand perfectly anon. I cannot bond with a lot of people because of this, my early memories are too haunting to bring up in any context. It feels like being trapped into this glass wall, my whole life has been a succession of consecutive tragic events>>1544319
Sorry, my wording was weird. With "realizing" i mean fully embracing and understanding the implications and repercussions as an adult…it is very overwhelming
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it's way fucking worse>>1544387
I used to get their shoes for walking ,their running shoes were pretty shit and tore FAST
I'm sticking to Brooks,HOKA and New Balance, those were far superior anyway, Nike just had a lot of variety with their designs,but I can live without that especially since the last pair I bought 1+ yr ago tore after 3 MONTHS only.
fuck 'em and all the other brands that parade that clown
I’m worried, I don’t want to suffocate him, I don’t want to be this needy. He tells me he wants me to be obsessed with him, that he likes it, but I think he just THINKS he does, but he doesn’t know what he actually wants. Either way it’s too late, and now I say stupid things and reveal too much and I’m gonna screw it all up, I just know it. I think I always have. It’s possible to like someone too much right?
Nonna, please help me. What is the better state of mind? Did you get over it or just learn to live with it/balance your feelings better? How can I reach this?? I feel like I’m going fucking crazy, I hate it. I was never like this before, sometimes I barely recognize myself. I take it back about suffocating him in fact i need to throttle him for doing this to me.
>>1544432> He tells me he wants me to be obsessed with him
this is a big fat red flag and it seems to be something that feeds his ego
My guy didn't say this , if he did I would drop him in one second flat.
Hormones are like a fucking drug, I can tell you what worked/works for me every time I have a problem or am too emotional, be it caused by a guy, stress, work etc: if you have a hobby/hobbies you like - immerse yourself as much as you can in them , take long walks to clear your brain (just listen to the sounds of nature, no music!) , FOCUS on yourself and your wellbeing , yoga helps clear your mind too. >>1544436
lol this might be a good idea too
I’m so fucked, I know it’s red flag but it just made me fall for him more (I’m genuinely retarded).
I really like your advice though, I’m gonna get stuck into my hobbies more and start creating again, also I’ll try yoga.
sent a whatsapp message to my roommate and decided to (nicely) confront her about being a racist piece of shit on top of all the other things she has done to me. she left for easter and of course, started hiding her toilet paper and paper towels like i am so freeloading nigger thief. i don't even care that she took it as i have my own, it's just her reasoning/motivation behind why she did it. i told her if she was that bothered about it, she should have just come to me politely and i would have reimbursed her either through paypal or written her a cheque, just as i told her when she got mad about other things she overreacts to. i am really tired of her at this point and i even told her that she really can't stop being mean to me, can she? i haven't done anything to her other than stand up for myself and she acts like she's living with a rabid gorilla that's terrorizing her. meanwhile she's constantly doing demonic shit to me like turning the hot tap on the shower all the way on, or rolling her eyes at me when i am laying in my own bed minding my own business. i want to a-log so much because she's such an awful, awful excuse for a human being and i am still courteous to her even though she treats me like i am a piece of shit on her shoes. like yesterday i unlocked the door to the apartment as she was struggling to get in…i know she would never do that for me but i still continue to do these dumb kind things for her because i don't want to be an ugly, evil bitch like she is. and even when i text her about her being an asshole, i always tell her to have a good day, god bless, and stay safe. i know most people wouldn't but i refuse to let her try to turn me into a monster like she is. i won't let her bully me but at the same time i will not stoop to her level. maybe i am fool for that but i know at the end of the day her ugly demonic spirit will follow her wherever she goes.
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Hate that I failed both exams in this course but only at the end am I capable enough to perform well on one. The whole thing ONLY clicked during my last assignment and now this final project.
If we also had a final exam I would pull through so well. It sucks that I clearly learn like this, as in the past I have also passed courses only because I aced the finals despite struggling the whole time.
Won't fucking help me get a job post-grad of course, even if I now know the shit. One look at my grades and they'll assume I'm stupid or don't care. I'm not a complete idiot! Just slow!!! Fuck. I feel like the only one in the world who is built for those profs who make finals worth 60% kek.
Opening myself to being called rarted, but accounting. Conceptually far easier than any STEM course but takes me a while to memorize all the steps and rules (in particular because I do hate accounting a healthy amount). I performed similarly when I was taking math courses above Calculus (for fun…but since I'm like this it also fucked my GPA a bit).
I have some good things on my resume and I network a bit, but the place I hope to work does require that I provide my grades. I guess I can try to explain how I am in an interview?
Fellow accounting nonny
here, you're wrong accounting is considered difficult actually lol so don't feel too bad about it.
you're dead wrong, and even if one is concerned about it, you can just transfer into IT auditing which is a growing field actually.
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here is the article she wrote about ithttps://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/22/opinion/allyson-felix-pregnancy-nike.htmlhttps://archive.is/TjU4s
and it happened with runners Alysia Montaño, Kara Goucher toohttps://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/12/opinion/nike-maternity-leave.htmlhttps://archive.is/EgjvK
and, in true form, only changed the policy after these articles and the public outrage hit. because no giant corporation wants to pay people unless it directly negatively affects the money said corporation will make.
Thank you for the support, nonas.
I have no choice to just keep at it and hope for the best, I guess.>>1544598
Perhaps, but the threat would be even larger had I stayed just working customer service or pursued my passion for the arts. If we're going to hit a disaster where most jobs disappear then it doesn't really matter what I do kek. If everyone studies tech then there won't be enough tech jobs to go around anyway.
With the organization I had my experiences with and hope to work for, they are also…surprisingly slow at adopting new technology. Due to other factors they will also likely not go down the route of mass layoffs for at least a little bit.
And if it comes down to it I'm fine putting money aside to take a trade like plumbing/carpentry/etc. just in case. I'm not above such things.
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I only started reading the ana scumbag threads because milk on the cows i followed was dry and I feel like those threads are negatively influencing me.
since i started loking at those i occasionally catch myself thinking about the calories of my meal, skipping on meals or snacks or even feeling jealous of some of them.
i should probably stop reading those damn threads, they're not that milky anyway.
get out of there while you can, nonna. it's a slippery slope. both my restrictive phase and bulimia were triggered
by separate cows on the internet. 5 years later, i still can't quit purging. ed is a competitive disease that makes you feel weak and undeserving unless you go apeshit on the bad behaviours. anchans are literally the worst too, because they live off of their narc ass judgemental attitude that won't spare even friends and family. read shay's thread instead. here's one cow that makes a mfer feel normal in their body.
everything is too fucking expensive. i cannot afford to live. i have a good education and work in a good career field. but i can't get a good job. instead i get laid off every year, then my savings are eaten by several months of unemployment. by the time i'm miserable and about ready to get creative with a kitchen knife, then i have to work a shitty grind job again and try to replenish my savings, until the next time it happens. i hate this country i hate the boomer generation and i hate rent. i have zero quality of life. i can't afford medical care, let alone a home, vacation, family, i mean fuck i can't even afford new clothes, i shop exclusively at goodwill and wear everything into rags. i can't afford to eat out, i have to eat my own cooking all the time, which gets exhausting and tiresome. even ingredients are too expensive so i have to make cheaper substitutions and eat poverty slop. my only form of recreation is free media accessed via laptop, because every time i step outside someone is demanding money from me. i want to take group exercise classes, can't, they cost an abusurd about. i want to go out and go on coffee dates and visit the zoo and museums and take daytrips. i can't, it's all too expensive. i wish i was never born. i can't even go out and enjoy nature because it's all polluted and overcrowded. as i sit here i hear the constant noise of cars on the major roadway because the only housing i can afford are the cheapest apartments and all the quiet streets are taken up by sfh owned by trillionaire boomers.
. Dunno if it helps (helps me tbh) but you're not alone in any of this.
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I'm gettigg so frustrated because I'm trying to find nail gems like picrel but in a large size. I can't find any but I know they're out there reeeeeeee
What's your career?
Unfortunately this is a common thing thats happening in our generation. Unless you have intergenerational wealth and parents who can pay your rent while living in the city, then it's hard to live a fulfilling life. Shit is fucked.
Just because nona is stressed about the cost of living doesn’t mean she should potentially lower the quality of her life even more by humoring random scrotes lol >>1544697
Life feels like a cruel joke sometimes with how much it costs to live. I know this suggestion doesn’t alleviate the overarching problems, but you should snag a library card if you don’t already have one. It can get you discounts on tickets for museums and zoos. Random events are sometimes hosted for free too at the libraries themselves. If you already do this, then just wanna say I’m sorry, and I hope things go better for you
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>at grocery store, originally went in to buy beans so I can make soup with Easter hambone
>bf wants boba tea, so to save myself an extra car trip I order doordash which costs $$
>bf acting like a fatboy and filling the cart with his snacks and drinks, he's got like $80 worth of junk food
>I throw three snack things in the cart
>the rest of the items are cleaning supplies ~$60 that I put on my company card
>bf pays for the cart of snacks
>makes a comment about how he paid for everything and has that cloying ~praise me~ vibe
>it irritates me bc he is far from "paying for everything" and regardless he doesn't do any effort shit like cook the Easter dinner or drive us to places
>I never receive high praise for the things I do so fuck that
>like how about the fucking tea he wanted???
>this turns into a fight because he says dumb moid cope shit and trying to make me feel bad because he feels he financially puts in more
>not that he does financially contribute more if we were to write down on paper what expenses are whose
>he meekly apologizes later but not really cause I know how men feel deep down
Quite frankly I do wish I had real fuck off money, I would never live with scrotes because there would be no financial necessity and I would rather them be kept at arms length. My house would be cleaner and I would have more peace. Whenever they "pay for something" they think it gives them a badge to act like bigshot """providers""" as if I'm suddenly stepford wife who doesn't pay or lift a finger. I get that it's a major part of scrote identity to larp as providers but holy shit they fucking act like women like me are worthless stay at homes. Assholes.
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Just deleted an uncanny/bad shoop filter pic from a socials post recently holy shit how did I think that looked good?! I look so creepy. Damn..are the brave few who even liked that pic really my friends even, lmao???
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There is literally nothing I like or enjoy that I will not get made fun of for. I get made fun of for being goth. I get made fun of for being a gender non-conforming woman (even by the same conservative people who told me to "just be a butch lesbian" back when I still identified as a TIF). I get made fun of for my singing voice. I get made fun of for my writing style. I get made fun of for my sense of humor. I know I shouldn't care so much but I've been bullied so much that I have subzero self-esteem levels, everyone who says that bullying builds character is lying. Fuck this gay earth
My brother slammed me into the wall right where the light switch was and it made me yelp. He was asking me where the tip cover of the apple pencil was and was already accusing me of losing it and when I was telling him where I put it, it made him even more upset because he thought it was negligent. I get up to go over to where I had left it and he grabs my fucking shoulders and slams me. I feel like I overreacted by yelling, but I was so surprised since it had been a long while since he had physically done anything to me. Like it was fine when he grabbed me, but when the sharp pain of the slam hit me, I was so shocked. He did it in plain view of my parents anyways, so he couldn’t have made much of an excuse, but I still feel like from the bottom of my gut that I should have covered more for him. His only response to anything was that “I lose things all the time.” Which equals getting the light switch (it’s a low profile one but it still hurt) rammed right in between my shoulders. I’m really not too upset (it’s not good, but it could be worse), because I actually feel bad. I keep feeling like I’m losing my brother. I know he doesn’t hate me, but he hates many things about me. He really hates women, and I always have to hear about how women are awful and it of course always includes me. Right before he got mad over the pencil (its a pencil he handed down to me) I really wanted to cook him dinner and when I finished he just said that the presentation wasn’t appetizing. Ok, whatever. Then when I go sit down I see he’s eating with his mouth agape so I ask “is it hot?” because I felt bad it was hot, I was the one that cooked it. No, instead he calls me a stupid retard that asks stupid questions and that I can’t understand basic cues. I just said that I felt bad the food was hot and he said I’m being passive aggressive, and that he doesn’t like passive aggressive people. Just, this fucking scrambles my mind because I never know how I’m supposed to react because I’m not on the same page. I said I’m not, and that I didn’t expect the food to be hot and he just told me “don’t cook then.” Ok, I’m just sorry that the food was hot, I’m not trying to be deceptive.
Of course me dumb woman, stupid dumb retard woman. When he left renewing his license to the very last day possible he fucking blamed me because I took “an hour” to do my hair when all I did was comb it and tie it in a ponytail. Then when the line was closed because they weren’t taking more people in, the person who announced it was a woman and it was all he could talk about for the rest of the fucking day. He blamed me and my mom and this random woman for the fact he could have just gone with me a month ago when I got my id. He was supposed to come with me but didn’t. Stayed home instead (…he’s a fucking neet though). But it was because I was brushing my hair and that the dmv woman was “having her period.” I just can’t keep up anymore.
Also samefag >>1545104>Just, this fucking scrambles my mind because I never know how I’m supposed to react because I’m not on the same page
Here's what you must understand: there is no right way to respond or react to your brother because he doesn't WANT you to be right. He wants to be an ass to you and mistreat you, and no matter what you do, say or don't do or don't say, he'll use it as an excuse to blame you for everything. He's a neet like you said, he's unhappy and he's blowing his misery off on you.
Keep your distance from him, he's dangerous.
He is useless and incompetent and is taking his feelings of inadequacy out on you. What you and your family are doing for him will never be enough because he feels entitled.
He's someone who never got his ass beat by another man and it shows.
Don't do shit for him anymore and if anyone asks tell them it's because he is violent and ungrateful.
I feel like the only healthy foods that don’t make me feel like absolute garbage are onions, garlic, mushrooms, carrots, salmon, white rice, yogurt, kimchi, miso soup, and blueberries. Sometimes some steak and chicken and eggs, maybe some tamari or fish sauce. Fucking everything else healthy makes me feel so weighed down and like garbage. Those are the only things I can eat without making my stomach hurt or make me feel like garbage in some way. Honestly it’s bullshit. Eating anything green besides green onions makes me so fucking sick, what the fuck is wrong with me besides celiac that I’m like this??? I don’t think it’s fodmaps or soy intolerance cause I can eat onions and garlic like there’s no tomorrow, tamari doesn’t bother me.
as a woman you get bullied just for existing, even if you're too normie you get made fun of.
being goth and gnc is cool as hell and it sucks your experience is like that. i hope you can surround yourself with better people (and less moids).
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Seriously though the empty replies quoting random posts is weird. I'm convinced it actually is a bot because what are the chances of a newfag messing up in 10 different threads within an hour? 80% chance bot 20% chance clueless newfag pic attached to prove my humanness
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>mfw I look in the mirror and I don't have any active blemishes for once
Now STAY this way please I'll do anything. Funny enough it's the day after I use a bunch of coverup. I thought makeup was supposed to be bad wtf
seriously. i've adjusted to eating only 2 meals a day but i still think it's shitty. if i ate 3 i would be fat.
of course our lifestyles are unnatural and sedentary, because boomers prioritized cars over human beings, and think sports are things only for children and televised athletes. we really need adult sports programs to keep people in shape. modern moids might not be obese, sometimes, but they're still flabby pudgeballs. most people are at best skinnyfat. and our transit system is 100% motorized car, 0% walking or biking. no wonder people are fat.
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>prices of items and food keeps going up at least 2 times every year, and its 4th year in a row now
>my monthly health insurance went from 60 / month to 85 / month
>rent got increased x2 price same month
>the only way for me to get money right now is by opening art commissions and apply to part time jobs
>hung out with shitty moid friend for 2 years, he made me feel like my art is garbage to a point i am too scared to even open commissions
I am such a retard. I keep being an insecure idiot. I am happy i gtfod out of that shitty friend circle, and my art is not bad - my lineart, anatomy and perspectives are good but i am so shit at colour theory. I hope ill get a penny or two for doing sketches.
I mean it's hard in terms of constantly having to actively refuse temptations and finding the time for stuff like proper exercise. But that's different for everyone. Like I wish I had 0 struggles resisting temptations but unfortunately it's on my mind all the time. >>1545302
Agreed on the sports programs. I want to do something that isn't just cardio or lifting weights because I genuinely hate doing it. It's just not fun to me. But there's barely any adult sport stuff that isn't either middle aged moids playing football (eu here) or people who've played the sport for 50 years already.
Your brother sounds like a low functioning autist and he's posing danger towards those around him, especially you. Please talk about this to your parents and make them force him to see a psychiatrist.
Are you also a neet? If not, move out if you can before he seriously hurts you. He doesn't deserve your compassion, you're not his mother.
>>1545304>It's very easy to maintain an average weight, but it's hard to lose a lot of weight.
God damn this is very true. I genuinely eat whatever I want and don't excersise and have been maintaining a healthy BMI all my life, but I could stand to lose 5-10kg for a more flattering body weight, but I just have never managed to consistently eat less and healthier or move more to make it happen.>>1545300>Obesity wasn't a common thing 30 years ago
30 years ago fewer people were forced to work behind computer screens 40 hours a week and to commute by car or public transporation.
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you should be grateful for how much i fixate on you. i love you more than people could ever even imagine feeling. you're the center of my universe and all you do is push me away. i would die to be loved so intensely, you ingrate.
This unfortunate soul again, guess what? My phone fell into the toilet this morning as I was preparing to shitpost on lolcow while shitting. Now it won't turn on either.
I am posting this from an old tablet, awaiting the inevitable Great Flood that will surely come to submerge and ruin the rest of electronics I own.
I'm contemplating over whether I should go to therapy or not.
On one hand, I fucking the concept of going there.
Don't get me wrong, I'll support anyone and especially my friends if they do take that decision. But me personally? I dunno. The thought of getting officially diagnosed and having labels genuinely irks me.
On the other hand though, I've been engaging in a lot of passive suicidal ideation, which is basically just daydreaming of it but never actually taking action, or getting anywhere near it.
I'm aware enough that it might escalate at any moment though, however I do also feel somewhat apathetic towards everything so Idk if anything will really "trigger" me or push me over the edge.
A good point for why I want to go is because I got SA'd when I was 10 and never had a chance to really talk about it or treat it properly, + the assailant who happened to be a family member just went missing and is probably dead by way of jumping off a cliff.
Despite all this though, here I am, talking about it and not really feeling any strong emotion towards it. I don't feel anything when I remember the incident or the person.
I am a little spiteful towards my mother for covering it up and not telling my father or anyone however, but oh well.
Whenever I feel this emotion of emptiness, I think of 2 things: a list the pros and cons of going to therapy, and an heroing.
Ultimately though, by the time I'm done thinking it's the middle of the night and I'm laying in bed, having not accomplished anything all day. And I feel a flurry of emotions including dread, hate, anger, misery, despair, until it all fades away and evaporates into nothing.
Anyways, I just can't see therapy doing anything for me. I already know the root cause of the problem, and there's nothing to heal. I don't know if my feelings are so suppressed down far back that I can't sense them but if that's actually the case, so be it I say.
>>1545358>feel anything when I remember the incident or the person.
I am a little spiteful towards my mother for covering it up and not telling my father or anyone however, but oh well.
Sounds like you're experiencing dissociation. It doesn't sound like an "oh well" situation.
>Anyways, I just can't see therapy doing anything for me. I already know the root cause of the problem, and there's nothing to heal. I don't know if my feelings are so suppressed down far back that I can't sense them but if that's actually the case, so be it I say.
It sounds like you could seek out help for processing the past and your current feelings around it. You know what happened and what it's doing to you, but maybe finding a counselor who has experience working with sexual abuse survivors can help you process trauma and emotions to the past you have consciously or unconsciously. Suppressing things usually doesn't work and if you have trouble sleeping at night because of what someone did to you, maybe it will help.
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We're back baby! (at least the phone)
I leave you with a screenshot I found on this old device that apparently I once thought funny enough to save immediately after it was posted (no, I wasn't underage).
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Napoleon is praying for you nonny
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>look up childhood crush on facebook (she's bi too)
>she's still a super sweet cute terminally online homebody, loves baking and gardening
>in a relationship
>with a fucking obese four-eyed ginger neckbeard
Imagining him on top of her makes me sick, you can tell his fupa having ass has a tiny dick. We could be so happy together and this is what she chooses? How the fuck do I steal her? I don't think she realizes how cute she is. Maybe her bisexuality was just a phase, because ANY woman is better than that thing.
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based satan, I ordered kek, didn't really eat today and I almost never eat out. ordering takeout once every 2 months shouldn't make me feel so guilty
my chicken is here and I am very happy
it's the little things in life
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I'm a fatass womanlet too but my calorie counting app instructed me that I would lose weight even by eating 1900 kcal a day. Do you lay still all day, are you not getting any activity at all?
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Idk anon this is what I got from the calculator. For weight loss it recommended 1100 calories a day. Like I said I don't even really get to control my diet well at home so it's hopeless for me anyway.
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bmr is the least amount of calories you should be eating. check your table - sedentary expenditure = 1600. if you ate at you BMR (~1300) that is -300 than what you expend - which is totally reasonable deficit for weight loss. no one expends only their bmr during the day, unless you're literally just laying in bed all day. do you not do any chores around the house? go to the store, do laundry, do dishes, go to and from work/uni? that's sedentary at the least. please look into this a little bit more before fucking up your body
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Nona I’ve spent countless times contemplating venting about some very similar struggles I’ve been experiencing for the past few months, I’ve been struggling for quite a while now and it’s very frustrating because I was doing completely fine before getting into my relationship and even earlier in the relationship I wasn’t struggling as much as I have been lately. For me though I think multiple things have contributed to these feelings, I went through a phase of using drugs a while back (which obviously has not helped anything) and basically went mia and completely deleted all my social media and cut myself off from pretty much every online friend I had aside from my best friend. My issue has always been that my friends have been online/do not live nearby (aside from one) which was fine when I did use social media but nowadays anytime I’m not spending time with my boyfriend in person I feel so cripplingly alone, but the only person I really care to spend time with is my boyfriend. Over the past few weeks I have realised I need to actually live my own life instead of just living for my boyfriend (I know, I have issues kek) and I need to let myself pursue and enjoy my hobbies and rebuild friendships with people or somehow
make new friends and just live my own life again. I’m trying to get back into work which I know will be beneficial for me and I have been getting therapy and recently went back on antidepressants, it just seems impossible to shake this feeling. Whenever I first get back from seeing my boyfriend I become a blubbering mess, I live alone which previously used to be very beneficial for me but lately it’s become unbearable. I think what I’m trying to say in between my embarrassing venting mess is that you aren’t alone in your feelings, and the most important thing is pursuing the things you enjoy and making sure you live your own life the way you want to. For now I know I’m just seeing it as trying to occupy myself with things until I see my boyfriend again, but with time that will build up to spending actual fulfilling time doing the things I enjoy.
My sympathies, nonnie
I tend to do omad as well since my calorie budget to lose is around 1200 a day, I'm not consistently active. I also have to limit myself to water so I don't accidentally drink my calories.
I feel so bitter at men when it comes to weight. I stepped on the scale and discovered I've gained 15 pounds since July. It hasn't been a linear gain by any means, which makes it all the more defeating, a bad week, 2 pounds here, another 2 there. Holidays. Ugh.
Meanwhile bf eats like a pig and consumes alcohols and sodas. Sure he gained weight but IF that were my diet then I would've gained 40 pounds. I always scoff whenever men give women shit about their weight, they're projecting because they know how gluttonous they
are to be getting huge.
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really hate my mom for telling me to just start "eating beans and rice lol" when i confess to her i'm having money issues.
it's not like i'm buying steak every single day, or caviar, or expensive brands: i'm spending a grand total of ~120 per month on groceries so i don't melt my meager (meager!) savings too hard while i desperately search for a job, as a recent college grad. how insensitive can you get
and she wonders why i hate calling her.
here, take EVERYTHING those calculators give you with a grain of salt
I do very heavy lifting and even on my toughest days of runnning (20-25 km) I don't go over 1600 cals. I eat anywhere from 800 to 1600 cals but focus on high protein.
From my personal experience when I sat on my ass all day cuz of work I did not eat to eat much ( 800-1000 cals was more than enough).
When I input my height,weight and effort lvl in those calculators it gives me something like 2k+ calories lmao, I'd gain weight like crazy if I did that
for reference I'm 5'6 and 130-132 lbs in freedom units
my advice : keep a food diary where u track calories and adjust accordingly, use whatever those calculators give u as reference
also idk why a lot of people are obsessed with "1200" calories, for me that's enough for a normal day of working out (but do note that I eat 0 processed foods 99% of the time)
I've been running for more than 10 years, but when I first started I had a really good plan I set up and I think it took me about 5-6 months or so to build up to a half marathon. Note that I was at a normal weight so that helped too
the secret is to start slow , start running at 8 - 9 km/h but do it for a longer time (1h or more) because that builds up your lung capacity and that shit is the most important, cause if you don't have that , you'll run out of breath in no time.
If you are overweight and your knees hurt or you get aches, you can start even slower
Remember, no matter how slow you're going, you're still faster than everyone who's sitting on a couch>>1545739
it's not hard to believe nonna>sleep:8h>work with my ass on a chair: 9h>gym/run/workout: 1-2h>stretching: 30 mins>rest of 4-5h: sedentary hobbies/ slow walks etc
I think the only exceptions may have been when I did mountain half marathons, that shit made me HUNGRY>>1545741
funny you mention it because I developed hypo some years back, so now I have to eat even less sometimes lol and had to cut out all gluten and most dairy
forgot to add: if you want to run and start from 0, I beg you to INVEST IN GOOD RUNNING SHOES! that shit is lifechanging
other advice for newbies to running> do incremental workouts (slowly increase distance with 0.5 km / 1 km once per week/ 2 weeks> do incline treadmill walks at a brisk pace -> this helps build muscle and endurance> eat healthy carbs 1-2 h prior to workout - oatmeal and bananas are my sweet safe spot, no culinary experiments before running! your stomach will thank you
and lastly, have fun, that euphoria you feel after a run is incredible
anon I got hypo after I had already been a runner for a long time, the dietary / caloric intake i posted was what i ate then and still mostly stick to now, please keep in mind I was 52-55 kg back then , so for me 1600 calories on a rough day was sufficient (300g meat, loads of veggies, eggs , some peanut butter - very nutritious and enough for my stomach)>>1545755
I have always been at a normal weight. My main goal has always been building muscle/endurance.
I did it because once I turned hypo I noticed gluten and dairy bloating , making me feel nauseous, tired and constipated. I'm talking pregnant woman type bloat, it was really unpleasant.
I don't buy gluten free alternatives, I just cook my own stuff if I want to. Ground oatmeal, rice flour are nice for pancakes or other baked goods. I'll have a slice of normal bread every now and then or dairy. I have no problem not eating the either of them though.
Yeah, I’m probably going to check in with my surgeon again. I think it’s bothering me not only because I can’t see, I have dry eyes, there are starbursts and halos everywhere, but also because it’s shitty to have doctors dismiss your concerns, especially when you’re at the receiving end of their condescension and you can tell they don’t take you seriously and you can tell it’s partly because you’re a woman. Especially in my case because I get this a lot and people try to justify it by saying “well you look like a kid” and think that’s a flattering thing to say, like yeah thanks I’m glad you can see the drool on my chin, I’m actually a fetus. Like do I have to, I don’t know, be a bank robber to be perceived as an adult? I bet there have been some take about how there are women shoplifters but not women bank robbers because women lack the rigor and serious tenacity required for bank robbing. And anyway, you can’t win in this case because if you tell them to get lost you’re now the easily-provoked emotional one.
If this is about laser eye surgery, I saw a thread on Twitter recently by a guy who got it - complications are quite frequent, it has been falsely advertised.
there's a lot of info in there regarding laser eye surgery
Here it is:https://twitter.com/ChrisAlvino/status/1639802044696461312
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I hate how my whole body aches during periods. As if periods alone aren't absolute hell already, I can't even sleep properly. If I sleep on my sides, my legs hurt for days. If I sleep on my back, my back hurts for days. And I can't sleep on my stomach for obvious reasons. At this point I just want to ask my body, AM I SUPPOSED TO JUST FUCKING DIE OR WHAT? I'M SO FUCKING NICE TO YOU. I ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF YOU AND SHIT, YET THAT'S HOW YOU PAY ME BACK??
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This is me with my back pain… I will manifest better for us anon I promise
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Posted in a detrans sub venting about how much it sucks to be a gender non-conforming woman and talking about a woman in the bathroom was being rude to me the top comment was a detrans woman telling me that I was lying and even if it did happen it's my fault because I don't look feminine. I feel like detrans and radfem communities are even more hostile to GNC women than troon communities, it legitimately makes me want to re-transition.
Pic not related
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I hate when I get home from a vacation and I get back to my ordinary soul-crushing life. I know I should be happy that I even get to travel in the first place and get to have amazing experiences but the rest of my life is just not worth living and one week of travel every other year is just not enough to make it worthy
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Today has to be the worst day of my life… so far. My grandma (from mom's side) died from stomach cancer, mom got sick from grief so I had to manage the entire funeral by myself while awkwardly comforting her, my dad decided to reveal after YEARS that he's under so much debt we might need to sell our house, I suddenly got my period, and something I really used to enjoy reading was ruined by the author herself. I have nothing. Absolutely nothing to make me feel better at the moment.
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I am so sorry anon
Here's a picture of my cat
It might not make you feel better, but it's not going to make you feel worse
Aww thanks nonnie
, your cat is so precious and adorable and actually did make me feel a bit better.
Yeah I will eventually say that, it's how things will be. he's short and fat so it's a big no from the start from me, he is from a good family but we both know that doesn't mean he might be as good as his parents
I'm visiting their house next week and I plan to be polite but won't let myself be pressured into anything. I seriously hope they don't make jokes about us being together, this happened in the past with some other matchmaker and it made my skin crawl and I felt like jumping out the window
lord have mercy!
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My boyfriend keeps getting mad at me when I send him soyjaks
Sometimes he even takes my phone and refuses to give it back until I agree to delete them
I just find them funny…
I’m 28.5 nonnie
we can be friends
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I had to do an item for work that hasn’t been my responsibility for months, idk if there was a miscommunication because I’m working on fixing a part of the document or what but I did it as soon as I could (an hour past a chosen deadline that wasn’t discussed with me), and got slammed with a mean response about meeting deadlines (when the only one I was aware of was having it ready due to legal obligations, which I had it done two hours early by that standard). I’m trying really hard and have a lot of other responsibilities, idk why this is what made my manager come down on me and I have bunch to do but feel so stressed out now and just want to curl up. I’m trying to focus on the fact that it’s done and I did it, but I just feel sad
we're busy being depressed because we can't afford to live
hello, my financial situation gives me existential anxiety that i use maladaptive daydreaming to alleviate
i wanna be nice to my mom
guys should usually get the hint that if the girl is not responding maybe she is unwell or needs some time to herself so they should chill, not spam calls
on another note i went for a walk and dear god, zoomers might be retarded but most are so good looking and cute, at least they're nice to look at , maybe I should do what that one nonna did and hook up with a young man, life's too short for regrets kek
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Was complaining about my packages being stolen and a coworker chimed in with “well maybe they needed it more than you. People are desperate now.” I don’t care how desperate you are, how does robbing other poor people make it right? I can’t believe we (USAfags) aren’t seeing more stories of these porch pirates being shot. I have no sympathy, they deserve to learn the hard way.
WHAT THE FUCK
seriously that blows my mind, I would've slapped your coworker, imagine excusing crimes, wtf, yet again, it's the USA
I mean honestly you sound a little self-loathing, which is preventing you from making friends and getting along with people. I used to be similar in high school but that was mainly because I was kind of a pseud and isolated myself on purpose because I had no idea what the current topics/trends were. What got me out of it was listening to female podcasts during my commutes. Binchtopia (pop culture and cultural analysis), Hate Fiction (Analysis of tumblr's impact), Nymphet Alumni (fashion trend analysis), and Big Soy Naturals (the more lolcow adjacent version of binchtopia, even if the hosts are themlets) are all good ones. I'm comically out of touch with pop culture, but I'm a major hater, so listening to these kinds of things honestly helped me so much. You can listen to an episode on something that interests you, like how true crime is terrible content for insane people, how search engine optimization is destroying the internet, or how bbls shaped fashion trends in the late 2010s (all are episodes from the podcasts I listed). Listening to people who are more in touch with pop culture and who make references talk about stuff that interests you makes it so much easier to get along with people. tbh I'm also just very outgoing but now that I can hear people talk about John Krasinski and not assume they're talking about Ted Kaczynski, I've made a lot more friends.
Nta but>sickly looking
wut? it sounds like she's just describing feminine men
girl she said pretty boys always turn into incels who want to blow up schools
no idea about you but i never saw any pretty one
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I’m so scarred by moids that I haven’t dated one in real for FOUR YEARS. I did a lot of self growth, and had years of therapy to recover from my severe anxiety and abandonment issues (thanks to porn addicted moid exes who emotionally and physically abused me). Now I’m 25 with a degree and a stable career and I decide, I’m lonely, fuck it I want to find my soulmate. So I find a guy who is just my type and has similar beliefs etc and he likes me back. We really hit it off and talk and hang out a lot. Problem is, he’s in the military and he also is another fucking porn addict. So basically right after I fall in love with this dude he finds out he has to move to fucking Okinawa and I’m like uhhhhhh what now? But me personally I wanted to be long distance because I had intense feelings for him, and I was starting to feel pressured into having sex which I’m afraid of. But he blew me off for like 2 weeks and kept saying he didn’t know what to do. Then I have a crazy simp chimp out and beg him to decide. He says he thinks it won’t work. Then I’m like, okay can I at least say goodbye in PERSON? So yeah we hung out, he said he wanted to keep seeing me and that he felt a really deep connection with me, and that leaving would really hurt. He also said maybe he was just being pessimistic and maybe we could work things out. He said he wanted to but he didn’t want to get hurt….. then he fucking asked me for anal sex. Like wtf??? I said no but I sucked his peepee and then he started ignoring me again. So I flipped out the next day and spam texted him when I was drunk. This morning he said he never wants to talk to me again cause I called him a porn addict and he blocked me on every social media platform possible. Is it over gals? Idk why but I feel extremely suicidal over this shit.
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I can’t stop blaming myself for this whole situation, though. Like the typical “I must not be good enough for him” bullshit and it’s making me spiral ;-;(;-;)
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>>1546478>pretty features with a tiny nose
There are almost no shooters/domestic terrorists or incels with these traits. What on earth, anon? They're all wonky, bigfeatured caveman motherfuckers. I think there was one "known" incel who had "pretty features" named knajj or something, but he literally called himself a "cutecel" and hated it. It's very uncommon.
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I love them and I need them
The problem is that in this case, neither statement would be true in application. All pretty men are not incels. All incels are also not pretty men (in fact, most aren't, not even a little bit). Where exactly are you finding incels that look like >>1546624
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Picrel: guy who shattered my heart
It's probably another one of those "Naratriptan and co won't work today" migraines. I have a java project due and all I can do right now is nauseated and die in bed. I cannot even sleep properly
Very happy that you got over your migraine, nonnie
! I hope the fairy doesn't visit soon.
He's an idiot, a military degenerate, and a porn addict. You can't be serious.>>1546629
if this is also you, yeesh. Maybe you're too far gone.
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Yeah I think I am too far gone but tbh I don’t see how he’s not hot as fuck
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Yeah ik I’m stupid as fuck I need to be deprogrammed from this moid simping
I even will go further and say if a moid is exclusively attracted to women of different race, he is definitely racist and has a fetish for "exotic" women. If you look at white guys who are attracted to Latinas or black women, he probably likes them for all the wrong reasons and probably just has a fetish for thing typically associated with black women. Same with weeks who want a pure uwu Japanese bang maid.
Hell, even women aren't immune to this. There is plenty of self-hating poc
women who only simp for white guys.
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Tired of the anti-fun anons who can't take a joke & think their enemies are living in their walls and the anons who think women are a hivemind and call you male if you like things they don't
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i want to cut off my family often.
they pressure me into marrying and having children, meanwhile;
>mother constantly complains about my narcissistic father
>brothers act like inconsiderate incel cunts
>neither my father or my brothers cleans up
>i have to clean after them all my life
>in childhood, had to be raised to become brothers' second mother and my mother's therapist basically until she realized it is wrong
>eldest daughter so everything i do is bad, while brothers can do no wrong
>"men are smarter" then they get away with "not knowing how the washing machine works and how to fold the clothes"
>zero tips on how to actually get a good man from my family, i have to experiment and go by feminist youtubers and pinkpill vloggers advice
used this advice and almost moved in together with my last scrote until i realized i did not want to be a live in maid in his mess while selling all of my shit to be isolated with him. literally nothing to me appeals about living with a man. if i am lonely i could call one to cuddle. why does my family think that becoming an unpaid cleaner, cook and therapist to a man and a beautician and fitness guru to myself to keep that man is in any way worth it? i am exhausted. i want to enjoy my silly hobbies, sing in my house, and decorate it with the retarded shit i like without having to worry about a moid finding it faggy. why does my country think it's an honor and glory to be a bangmaid breeder? only way i would be a mother and wife is if the man was much more rich than i and i could stay home and housekeep and garden while the children get to school age. unfortunately i can not turn out like my mother as everyone in my generation is a fucking manwhore, and i don't like narcissists.
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This reminded me of this post kek
>>1546472> that ugly broccoli cut
lol this is what bothers me the most, I hate that stupid haircut
but I've seen quite a bunch with normal hairstyles or even better, styled hairstyles
the way they dress varies a lot but I've noticed some really well dressed zoomers, which surprised me pleasantly
saw a guy yesterday who looked like a porcelain doll: tall, white skin, longish black hair styled like some of those kdrama actors , pretty face , I saw him look my way and I stared back for a few seconds before getting my head back in check
nonnas I wanted to hug him so badly, he was cute as a button
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Lmfao you should ruin his life, he deserves it.
t. I found out a month ago that my ex from 4 years ago was trooning out so I told his super religious mom hahahaha
In all honesty though his abuse finally makes sense, he was acting out his disgusting autogynephilic fantasies on me when he tried to make me change my appearance constantly. I hate all these pornsick degenerates
did you even read both of my posts?>>1547084
It just proves my fucking point that you're part of a narcissistic collective if you say that. What /pol/tard says porn oppresses women and that men are dangerous? Of course that you are strawmanning me and attacking me for offering actual relevant criticism.
>>1547083>A lot of them are white women that are rich and could actually make a change in the lives of oppressed women.
This unfortunately isn't true. While a lot of modernday radfems are white, they're also mentally ill and unemployed, spending their time online and not contributing anything positive to the world or womankind. That kind of woman doesn't have the resources to help women from third world countries and most radfems don't really care about women who aren't like them so they hate both super poor women fron third world countries but also women who have better financial situations than them.
You'll often find radfems seething about failing in life because they're women while blaming an imaginary figure whether that be men, pickmes or their mothers, it's turned into a cope for failed women rather than a genuine movement.
the ones that I see on Tumblr are from rich families in western countries. They continuously use statistics and stories of violently raped and murdered women from disadvantaged social situations to win arguments against trannies. I don't want to be the victim
of a tragedy just for my story to be used in an argument on the internet. It contributes to the objectification of the woman which suffered that horrible fate.
While you're right about them using traumatic events for online points, they still aren't the majority. Those women might not even be rich and simply be lying.
I'd suggest blocking them for your own good, that kind of person who uses a movement to victimize themselves while disrespecting actual victims
shouldn't be getting any more views.
Nobody cares if you "cheated" to lose weight, they only care that you aren't fat anymore.
We have cows on this website who traveled to asian countries just to have surgeries that reduced their stomach sizes and intestines just to be able to stay thin. Not to mention tens of hundreds of pounds between them all when they got the fat liposuctioned from their bodies. So don't be concerned about vitamin injections being "cheating." Absolutely no one gives a shit
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My depression is out of control to a point where I’m making plans. Everything is horrible and it only keeps getting worse! Nothing is worth it anymore!!!
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I met an insane narcissistic sexual predator on here that mentally abused me for 3 months. He was an active lolcow user for 4 years just blending with the crowd and even sharing pink pilled opinions. I'm in a bad financial situation, he sent me money and then would tell me to get naked. His name is Steven Ryan Michael.
I added him from the friend finder thread on here approximatively one year ago. I was guilt tripped and told that I brought him here, harassed by anons on here for him abusing me.
Don't know why this is being played down. It's a major thing to add a scrote from the friend finder thread that pretends he is a woman for 2 weeks and shows female like behavior and opinions.
>>1547264>and even sharing pink pilled opinions
This is a red flag within its own right. I'm sorry this happened to you, thankfully you now know which people to avoid. >he sent me money and then would tell me to get naked
You were in a desperate situation to where you had to resort to sex work? I'm sorry but this part confuses me.
you've been posting my personal information for years and personally attacking me. Even now when I am posting about a deranged rapist that groomed me off lolcow you are diverting the entire attention from the actual evil which is a man WHOM IS LITERALLY IN FUCKING JAIL for raping a woman. Who has been posting on here for 4 years. You are scape goating me as usual, denying my abuse, vilifying me, lying about me. Just the usual mentally abusive
You are denying my abuse and guilt tripping me, again if it was another woman on lolcow posting Steven's mug shot and saying he has been an active lolcow user for 3 years you'd jump in rescue and be empathetic. You're literally diverting the attention onto me instead of judging a fucking rapist. Pathetic emotionally abusive
tactics. Yes, I am a victim
and you are contributing to my victimization for what you are doing to me. All of it because I disagreed with you. You are evil. How can you mentally abuse me in such a way? I tell you that a mentally ill sociopath has been abusing me which is now rightfully in jail and you tell me it is all in my head, that I am victimizing myself and you are calling me a cat killer and pedophile and literally using my childhood trauma. You are lying about those things too. How can a 8 year old child be a pedophile? How can an 8 year old girl that is horribly abused be evil.
You are abusing me right now. You are vilifying me and ignoring a literal rapist that sexually assaulted an innocent woman.
You've been doing this to me for 3 years, mentally abusing me and guilt tripping me for the abuse that I've been going through. You are mentally ill narcissists with no empathy or you lack any emotional intelligence and you are projecting that onto me otherwise this has no explanation.>>1547325
Yes, it is absolutely my fault that I'm a mentally ill and isolated woman that got groomed by an insane narcissist. >>1547322
Why are you saying "sex work" we were dating. I told him that I needed money and he sent it to me, then he kept demanding I get naked although he offered to send me money. He offered to send me money, sent it to me and then he kept using it in an attempt to sexually abuse me or control me. So, I sent him the money back and blocked him.
After I was groomed and abused by him he found another girl with autism from lolcow that he also groomed and she was shocked to find what he did but I felt it in my guts.
How can you do this to me? You've been doing this to me for 3 years. Lying about me. Harassing me for being severely abused as an 8 year old girl. As a kid I was raped multiple times and beaten and had animals killed in front of me, I had no food, education or resources. How can you blame an 8 year old girl for replicating the abuse witnessed in her environment. Anyone with two brain cells and a bit of emotional awareness understands and knows that a child which is brought up in an incredibly abusive
environment replicates the abuse. I haven't done anything wrong as an adult…
You've been mentally abusing me for 3 fucking years. You have a literal convicted rapist that used to live amongst you and you are victim
blaming me for being an 8 year old raped, starved and beaten girl.
You've posted my nudes on lolcow. Blamed me for being a sex trafficking victim
. Blamed me for being mentally ill. Blamed me for being in a bad situation. Blamed me for trying to expose a sex trafficker and said that I was "JEALOUS" and now you are blaming me for telling you a the mentally insane scrote that abused me which I found on lolcow has been convicted for fellony. How can you divert the attention on how I am evil even in this case? Are you unaware of your hypocrisy and the abuse you are inflicting onto me right now by blaming me for all of this?
A LITERAL FUCKING RAPIST WAS LIVING AMONGST YOU AND YOU CHOOSE TO CALL ME OUT FOR ATTEMPTING TO EXPOSE A WOMAN INVOLVED IN CHILD TRAFFICKING. I'M RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING. YOU ARE PROBABLY SUFFERING ABOUT SOCIOPATHY. STEVEN LITERALLY GOT CONVICTED FOR CRIME AFTER HE ABUSED ME OFF YOUR SHITHOLE.
YOU ARE NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY ALTHOUGH YOU HAD A DANGEROUS RAPIST AMONGST YOU. WHATEVER I GUESS CHANGING THE NARRATIVE AND BLAMING ME FOR THE ABUSE THAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH IS BETTER THAN FOCUSING ON THE ACTUAL ISSUE. As usual…I'm speechless and have nothing to say to defend myself because no matter what I say you will blame me and find ways to shift the entire narrative to discredit and demonize me even if I am the one being victimized.
It's just a never ending cycle.
Just get it through your skulls. Steven raped a woman and he has been an active lolcow user for 3 years. He groomed me and another autistic girl. I told you about him from last year and you shut down the thread, mocked me and told me that I brought him here.
At this point I'm convinced that you have sociopathy or lack basic emotional intelligence, although you are projecting that onto me.
Anyway, whatever I say is useless.
Again, turning me into the demon when you are faced with a literal rapist is just fucking pathetic and it shows what level you all are on.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Anyone, fictional or not, who claims they loooove coffee so much whilst drinking pre ground grocery store bullshit plopped into a drip coffee maker, is disgusting and lame. Same goes for people who drink starbies and Dunkin. >>1547374
You should really try some single origin locally roasted freshly ground pour over coffee nonny
I think you’d be a convert, I despise “coffee lovers” who think keurig is coffee.
I would help you out nonnie
! Manifesting someone irl to help you out kek
Samefag but my husband knew before I moved countries and married him my physical health issues and my childhood trauma..
I guess was just out of his life experience that he said was no problem he wanted to be with me no matter what.
Well neither of us are laughing now are we.
Is a bigger deal than he realized isn't it even though I warned him.
This is harsh but it's true, I'm sorry nonnie
Wow, I'm buying new clothes and was planning to get some Nike, but now I'm glad I only bought adidas so far. Please don't tell me they trooned out too, I need to wear something
decent when I'm around people.
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kek wtf i take a break from this thread for a few hours and shit goes down
i did not expect this
Yup my son is 18 with ADHD, unfortunately not retarded. Super smart but with no direction.
Yes I have mental health issue.
Which I have been in therapy for.
Luckily (not for me dealing with it) my mental health issues are not hereditary.
My physical health issues won't kill me, just means a surgery here or there and reasonably manageable symptoms.
I have spina bifida occulta, normally causes no problems.
Unfortunately for me it did I have nerve damage to my bladder which is now manageable and bowel issues which may require another surgery.
I had a surgery for detethering my spinal cord, turned out it would take me 3 years to walk etc properly again and I deal with a level of nerve pain.
Yeah I have a child and despite my mental and physical health which the mental health I am in several treatment for and I can't genetically pass on, and the physical which will be life long, what is wrong with wanting a child with the man I married?
I own my bullshit, am just frustrated which is why I am in the vent thread.
And yeah, I guess I am considered ancient on here.
Yes I have been told this before.
I have worked and studied.
I like to provide at home and cook so well that at my last job(before surgery) I gave out recipes was offered promotion and had to turn it down and couldn't return down to recovery.
Am looking at furthering my studies because I have qualifications in fashion design and clothing manufacturing.
But have a huge interest in textiles/historic ccostume.
And fashion pays shit for most people.
I have my hobbies and I LIKE to provide where I can at home.
At least I know what I want.
And am in the vent thread cuz you know, I needed to vent
good lord you're more toxic
than licking lithium battery
Well anon you would be surprised to know at that very young age even though the father proposed I said fuck that.
Wasn't marrying a man I didn't love just cause I was pregnant.
I was super young the father is a fucking lover and I made every effort for him to be in his son's life anyway.
My son wants nothing to do with him.
That's HIS choice not mine!
Don't pay attention to her anon, she was being way too vitriolic. I agree with >>1547496
he DID want a child.
More than I did.
We had issues for a while and have worked it out.
Now the tables have turned.
And we are married.
Things aren't always so straightforward (but would be nice if it was)
Why thanks nonnie
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One of my best friends is making terrible life decisions but I know if I confront her she’ll either get defensive and double down or if I DO away her she’ll probably second guess her decisions and go back anyways. She broke up with her last boyfriend in a really shitty way and our friend group has been frustrated with her for it. Her ex’s mom was dying in the hospital and she said it was “too much for her to handle” so she broke up with him, then tried to go back a few days later. I ended up hearing from both their perspectives and the relationship definitely should’ve ended but it was terrible timing from her. They’re both good people who just didn’t work well together. The thing that has really made us worry is that she’s now dating a scrote who has acted creepy towards her for YEARS. They went on a two dates several years ago and she rejected him and he was pissy about it for years. Like upset and angry and acting like they had been engaged. He talked badly about her behind her back and generally made everything really awkward whenever we were forced to be around him. He kept contacting her and violating her boundaries when she first started dating her ex and making her feel guilty despite it being months after the two dates they had. He went to the psyche ward and left her a voicemail talking about how much he meant to her and how important she was as a friend to him even though they hadn’t talked in months. He’s an ugly fat weirdo who is historically unstable and has repeatedly violated her boundaries but she feels like it’s okay because he apologized??? Yeah obviously he’s going to apologize and tell you what you want to hear as soon as you’re single. Like if she can’t handle what’s going on with her ex she really cannot handle this scrote’s genuine unstableness. I don’t know what to do because the only way I think this will end is when something really bad happens. I wouldn’t be surprised if he becomes emotionally abusive. I want to tell her and try and knock some sense into her but I fear it might make things worse. I don’t know what to do.
You literally sound much more mentally ill and unhinged than OP which is a big achievement. Get help instead of mocking women who are venting about their lifes, weirdo. >>1547486
Not that anon and I'm 21 but you're not ancient. It's normal to want more than one kid and if a woman wants a kid, she shouldn't be attacked for it. You should talk about this with your husband and maybe see a relationship therapist to help you decide to if you really want and can take care of a child in your previous marriage. I hope things turn out good for you and your son.
No I won't because been there done that.
Am venting because if my husband doesn't change his mind I won't be doing it.
Just sucks that I changed my mind through being with him to be faced with him changing his.
I am not getting any younger and having expected for 7 years of marriage that having a child would happen, is hard to face that might not happen.
Even if he will which he never clearly said he wouldn't, just not NOW, I ain't getting any younger.
Am aware the risks that brings for mother AND child and I already have health issues…
No issue for a baby but might be more recovery for me again…
We don't need a couples therapist, things were difficult with my son and my physical health, and my mental health spiralled due to not getting treatment.
Is good to know that whatever my diagnosis it is down to my childhood and isn't hereditary.
And being in treatment for years myself has helped so much.
Am aware that with little context anons will judge harshly but I am aware of my situation and am getting help where needed.
I have more awareness going into consideration of having another child than I did with my son and more than most people will ever have.
I have been there done that I know what it means.
I know posting on here is anonymous but also means anons can be completely judgemental even outside of their own life experience.
I have a marriage behind me. We got married so young that he thought he didn't want kids and then.. changed his mind 3 years in. I didn't want kids. Its the number one dealbreaker in a marriage so as much as it sucked att.. I'm glad he did us both the favor of him leaving and it not dragging out for years with neither of us on the same page on something so important
I have a messed up past and lingering MH effects. I know I have a habit of staying in relationships and ignoring the obvious. I could still be with this guy today and still be butting heads over this issue if he hadn't bit the bullet and said.. hey this isn't a small issue. Its a make or break thing. It ending was for the best. I feel for you. Some days I wonder how my life would've went if he hadn't left and if we'd spent years trying to somehow make it work. There was no way we'd both be content with our lot in life though.
I had to ask the security at the front desk of my office about something. I wasn't being rude at all, I was just a little confused and needed some clarification, so I had to ask a couple questions. I wasn't being a Karen or a bitch or anything like that, was just genuinely confused. It should have taken about a couple minutes max.
This fat bitch who was there was being extremely rude to me and started basically yelling at me after I got confused. I thought maybe I offended her somehow and tried to smooth things over ("oh it's no big deal, it's not a rush") but she basically shut me up and told me to leave because she already answered my question (she didn't). She was literally rolling her eyes at me. At that point I asked for her manager and she lost her shit, telling me I was making her "uncomfortable" (absolutely not, I wasn't even cursing let alone threatening her). She obviously was just saying it as retaliation for the fact that I was going to report her. Oh, and she refused to give me her name, her manager, or their number.
There was absolutely no reason to be rude at all in the first place. How do people like this even exist? I was berated and spoken down to for literally asking a few questions, like I was some kind of pushy child throwing a tantrum. It was such a non-issue that it genuinely blows my mind how she could become so pissed off for literally no reason.
It's literally been several weeks and I still feel shitty about it when I lay awake at night. I feel your pain >>1547595
People who are rude for no reason can really fuck up your week, even month.
Another time, I was just crossing the street in regular clothes, and the crosswalk "walk" sign was on (so I wasn't jaywalking). A scrote in a truck turning left starts blasting his horn and freaking out at me. I was just confused so I pointed at the "walk" sign and looked around, thinking maybe he didn't realize it was my right of way or maybe he wasn't even mad at me. I even tried, in my head, to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume maybe it was an emergency and he was in a crazy rush. But after I walked on by (acting obviously confused by his behavior), he literally pulls over and starts yelling something out of his window. It really shook me up for a couple days, to have this unstable scrote's anger taken out on me. It really felt like he was going to run me over.
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i've been picking/mutilating my toes all winter and now it's almost sandal season
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It's raining hard right now and I was doing some homework online but the power went out for like 5 minutes, and I lost all my progress. I'm using that as an excuse to browse lolcor until it stops raining
Well, yes. But it's not like I was all dolled up. It was after hours so I was wearing sweats, a bun, and had on no makeup.
I don't know why she would risk her job over that.
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when i got home from seeing the mario movie in the cinema tonight i got out my old nintendo ds and it made me feel like shit. sometimes when i feel nostalgia i get a very deep and intense sense of dread and anxiety along with it. idk how to stop it now. i also don't understand why i get like this, because i have great memories of playing the ds. i feel so bad now
It's not a contradiction at all, you hate that which has control over you.
That's why so many men are womanhaters, they are weak-willed and the sex drive is strong. So they end up blaming the trigger
of that drive instead of their own weak self-control.
It's easy to see how this applies to women too. If you let your sex drive control you, you end up aCC poster
I'm sorry that happens nonnie
. I understand how you feel. Just keep in mind that people who post infographs on instagram will always be the flakiest, non-communicative people like 99% of the time and yet they will preach about acceptance and being there for friends during hard times and etc etc. Don't let it get you down.
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>>1547733>if you let your sex drive control you, you become a femcel/turbo virgin/misandrist
Nta but no, I don't follow
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>opens tumblr before going to bed
>sees bad take on my favourite character
>can't sleep now because I'm too angry about strangers misinterpretating my husbando
why am i so autistic? this shouldnt bother me but it does
Neither, I am an Internet relic
Formerly known as a troll
Remember those? Of course you don't you humourless bastards, you all think you're experiencing stuff for the first time ever and your pain is the painiest in the history of womankind, and this shitposting place is totally the place to bare your soul
Did she expect imageboard strangers to asskiss her out of suicide? That's a shit survival strategy.
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I hate that I hate my mom. It feels so anti-feminist somehow but I really don't think there's a single likable thing about her. She's a terrible, anxious mess of a human being with a victim complex. My driving instructor is more of a mother to me than she is. I just want to completely disown her and never speak to her ever again. I really did try so hard to befriend her for many years but she has such a bad impact on my self-esteem and happiness with her constant criticisms of (literally everything) and BPD meltdowns. I feel like I'm being petty but I don't think I'll ever grow as a person until I cut her off completely. Fuck being loyal to family. Sometimes your family is absolutely shit and doesn't deserve your energy.
Just based off of the typing style, weren't you the 35 year old anon who posted a vent earlier and got attacked and derailed the whole thread? Why are you now hating on another anon for her harmless vent?>>1547266
Anons seem to think that this is
an advice thread, and that's why they always feel entitled and are itching to reply to random anons with their "advice" (most of which is just them being an asshole) when they're just trying to vent. This is why the get it off your chest thread can't work either, because anons think everyone needs their commentary. I meant to say this earlier but I'm glad I'm posting this now and actually have an example kek.
>>1547901>guy who can't thrust for more than 30 seconds at a time
Lolcow: "Hurr durr why you like man butt I don't understand"
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real stressed at my doctors at the moment. they won't answer emails or calls and the local pharmacy won't dispense my much needed, non-addictive medication because the script wasn't emailed to them directly by the corresponding hospital team. cool, find out the new email, send it over and… it's been fucking weeks and they won't get back to me regarding the update. how the fuck am i supposed to get my medication? it's fucking mavenclad. nobody wants this unnecessarily, most of the planet doesn't know it fucking exists.
i just don't want another illness relapse but they're sure making it difficult. kind of snapped at the receptionist in the pharmacy due to frustration and i feel bad about that even though it was just a "well, that's fucking bullshit" to her reiterating their stance on scripts via email despite the fact last year you could walk in with a pdf of your script and they'd fill it.
to my credit i followed up the not-directed-at-her-snark with a genuine thanks for her time as i stormed away, just so damn stressful
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>>1548078>and i dont know if hes telling the truth or not
print out a photo of his face and start throwing darts at it. if the relationship was valuable and worth having, you wouldn't be feeling like shit all throughout it. a good relationship is something where you can say you are better off with them than without, where you feel good when around them, and them around you. it is clear what is important to you for a healthy, happy life is not being met by him, and he is actively going against your happiness.
if you had a daughter, would you want him dating her and dealing with what he put you through? no? so why do you want to endure it yourself?
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>look cute today
>go to bustop to wait for bus
>squeeze myself in the corner between older women
>check myself in reflection of the glass
>aw Im cute
>disgusting foul smell gets into my nose
>homeless fat scrote licks his ice cream
>looks at me like he wants to eat me
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It is the worst!! Cute nerdy guys are literally an endangered species at this point. I would do anything for a cute shy nerdy guy but I don't want to risk being near a ticking timebomb of troonery. I can't express how much I hate that nerds are so at risk for trooning out
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Panic disorder, possibly
t. Been there
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why are all my zits conglomerating on my fucking lips nose back and shoulders can I please have them in appear in a reachable less painful place
I feel like I have herpes and I do not have herpes
I'll even take forehead pimples again just make it stop
just observe their behavior and see if they copied your mannerisms. style can sometimes not be a huge red flag unless you're the only one with that specific fashion sense in the area. do you have any accessories that you wear daily? even a certain make-up look that you always go for? that would be the first thing they'll try to emulate.
do you have a routine, like going to the gym in certain days, you could try to observe in those times and sees if she's there. also try checking her social media if you can access, maybe there's posts that could be similar to yours, in terms of phrases or word-for-word copy. even a meme or a scenery.
but i guess the first thing to advice you anon is to not overthink but still follow your gut and avoid her as much as you can. maybe lessen your activity in social media and not be friendly or open about your life with people she's close to because there's a chance she could be fishing for information about you.
Feeling a bit bummed. My rational side of my brain doesn't seem to want to activate on this matter. There's this guy friend who I've known for 5 years , we've been friends with some funny benefits (not sex because I am not really attracted in that way to him), he liked me in that way but never really made a major move (he's pretty boring as a guy, but is nice), but in the past months he seems to want to distance himself from me especially since one of his friends got a gf and always calls him whenever they go out/hiking etc (introducing him to new people)
In the past we'd go do these kind of activities together but for more than half a year…nothing. He's always with that group.
My major regret is being 100% honest with him, he saw me at my weakest and when I was most depressed, most angry etc and trying to elevate him (personality wise I am too much to handle for him, I am aware he'd be best with a really boring,dull girfriend who doesn't have guts and not someone who's like a lioness and calls him out every now and then).
I knew I'd have to let go eventually but sigh, why is it so hard even if I don't have romantic feelings for him? My woman brain would be a bit irked if he hooked up with some girl but at the same time I know I'd really be to good for him. I also don't like "group pleasers" and he fits into that category.
On another note, how do you deal with men who avoid conflicts and run from the truth? They just want to sweep things under a rug and pretend it never happened, I really dislike those kind of people.
I tried going out today to pick up groceries but I turned around and walked home because I’m fucking ugly. I haven’t worn my glasses in years so I never had to see myself in the mirror but I did today and I genuinely look retarded. Like I have Down syndrome. I felt like I walked like a retard, I dressed like a retard, I sound like a retard, I move like a retard, I’m on disability like a retard. I’m not actually conventionally pretty or average and just mentally ill, I’m genuinely ugly. How can I go out into the world like this? It’s disgusting. I’m disgusting. I’m so disgusting that I want to hurt myself. There’s no makeup or surgery or therapy or anything that could make me look or feel normal. I don’t feel any different than when I was 9 or 14 or 20 or 25. I was hideous then and I’m hideous now. I’m ugly, I’m retarded, I’m uneducated, I’m unemployed, I’m lazy, I’m untalented, I’m unlovable and I really wish I could just drop dead.
Pity parties are necessary for getting over a bad spike of self-loathing. After you are done with the self-pity, remember that you ARE lovable. Everyone is lovable, even really horrible and evil people. I am assuming you are not a horrible, evil person and are in fact an ordinary woman posting online so that automatically makes you even more lovable and nicer to be around. I know it might seem impossible to get started on life but it is not impossible, only difficult. On priciple, difficult things are never impossible; if they were impossible they'd be called impossible things and not difficult things. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly about yourself anon. But even if it seems untrue or not possible, you must know and truly believe that there is good in you and that you are worthy of love. You must know this, even if you don't think it is possible to know, because you are
good, you are
lovable, even if you think you have no talents you have endless possibilities and the capability to learn talents. I'm sorry you dislike yourself so much. You do not deserve that.
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lacoste, why. what the fuck
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Bf finally breached into alcoholism territory, I think.
I'm tired of picking up after all the cans around the house. He just ordered delivery of two 12 pack cases. He has alcoholic seltzers in the fridge he's been binging and this isn't counting drinks whenever we go out or to a restaurant.
He admitted he drank 8 beers yesterday and not including the four drinks he had while we were at a barcade. He stays up late to drink beer and play COD and then sleeps until almost noon every damn day. He refuses to go to the doctor but claims he's sick a lot. He has low appetite and his stomach and bowels are often screwed up–but he thinks none of this is related to how much he drinks and smokes weed.
He has a problem.
Today I remarked on how he ordered a lot of beer and I asked if he could stop if he wanted to?
He got immediately defensive and accused that I was 'making fun of him' and not that I had approached it out of concern. First he tried to gaslight and deny how much he had been drinking. He said because he had stopped a long time ago he had proved to himself that he could stop if he wanted to, he didn't have to prove it to me again anyway, and that he wasn't gonna let me convince him that he has a problem.
Then he said that I shouldn't talk about problems because I am 'addicted' to drinking milk! I love dairy, but if I don't buy it then I don't consume it and there isn't any currently in the house because I give myself breaks all the time, and even then consuming dairy isn't as harmful as consuming alcohol.
And as someone with a food problem, I know addict in denial behavior when I see it. My bf insists on thrashing any shred of hope of this relationship working out.
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I worked on a drawing for my boyfriend to use as his pfp and he really liked it and used it straight away. Check in on his stream and they’re all slating the pic saying it looks cursed and that he looks like a tranny in it. Feelsbad.
Dealing w an alcoholic sucks ass. My dad was one and it ruined my parents marriage. He wasnt mean, but just stupid and would injure himself. He finally got sober at 65 and he is living his best life.
Don't ignore this, nonny
. He isnt long term relationship material if he can't admit and work through his problems together with you. He needs to choose, you or alcohol. Dont deal w this if it drains you.
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Almost 4 years since I saw her but I still think about her almost daily
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Nonnas I am such a stupid idiot and I deserve all the backlash I get for this post. It's gonna contain sexual content so please be warned.
I used to be in a relationship with a guy who was extremely right wing. The relationship was super unhealthy and lasted for 6 years. It ended recently, but I immediately got into a LDR relationship with another guy because that guy was like, the polar opposite.
The new guy is bisexual, but is really into femboy and "cute" stuff. He's also WAY younger than me, which is painfully apparent when it comes to his life experiences, but he is really emotionally mature and wants to provide for me physically, sexually, emotionally, and so on. So there's promise.
He absolutely adores and loves me, but I am really worried that he's going to either troon out in the future, or that he's going to want to be a subby bottom boy for the rest of his life. I am really, really not into "femboys" (they can't exist past their early 20s because testosterone is a hell of a drug), and some of his other kinks are VERY "I watch anime hentai only", but he is also into femdom so I get to be dominant with him which I've never been able to before because I am really short and most guys don't care what a girl wants.
I feel like I rushed into this, is there a way I can kinda steer him off of being a femboy coomer over time? Yes I know I am a dumbass who gets with guys, but sadly I like men.
This is gonna sound even more sad, but I've never been able to connect with "normal" moids. I'm not American and the place I live in has a small population, so I've only ever been able to connect with people online because I'm also a societal freak who watches anime and plays video games as my primary form of entertainment. The ring wing guy was a HUGE mistake I made at my most vulnerable point in life and I put up with it for so many years… never again. I'm also the sad type of pathetic shit that can't find meaning in living for myself, I've only ever been able to find motivation and meaning in life if I am working for the happiness of someone else too. >>1548510
I didn't want to get into anything this soon, it just kinda happened because I wasn't thinking and acting purely on the fact I was finally receiving affection and care after 6 years of an emotionally draining and dead relationship. I'm no longer into dating casually because I'm getting old and I don't want to go through a million of shit men to find a few good ones.>>1548512
I already sorta mentioned that, but I'll be more firm on it at least… He genuinely likes me and he is VERY sweet, very kind, very loving. And he's only had 1 partner before me because he is, well, young, and also painfully traumatized from previous interactions with people (just like me!!)
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nayrt and op sounds annoying but I would guess just ugly, vaguely rectangular glasses
stopped reading there
he's got red flags the size of China
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I've been seeing this one guy for a while and things got hot and heavy yesterday and I'd love to sleep with him but I have vaginismus so penetration always hurts for me. We see each other every couple of weeks because I live in a different city and idk how I'd even bring the whole thing up to him without making it weird. I wish I could just be normal. I know there's other ways to be intimate with someone but this whole thing is just so frustrating to me. I've been dilating for months but the progress is so slow. I honestly just feel like crying sometimes. Why can't my body be normal.
A girl that looked just like this fucked my entire life up in 2010. Shit isn't new
Stay far away from these women they are insane
>>1548518>And he's only had 1 partner before me because he is,
You're trying to build up a guy that will not be there for you within 3 years time, if you're that lucky. He's gonna get greedy and think that he can do better than you (which is not true.)
You're setting yourself up for failure. I'm sorry nonna but it's just how it is.
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I have a bad habit of self isolating so I have missed many odfmy classes (it's only a matter of time before I get kicked out). Yesterday I actually showed up to class and everyone was super nice to me, greeting me, asking me to sit beside them etc. I got suspicious because normally people ignore me but I decided to ignore the suspicion and not overthink the situation and people's motive for once in my life. Then at the end of the day a girl tells me that I have missed so many classes that my professor called me out during class (one that I was not attending) which caused everyone in the class to panic and check their attendence rate to make sure they weren't at a risk of being kicked out. Aside from being totally humiliating it has also just made me kinda sad. My depression and adhd is so bad that I can't finish school. Aside for that I also can't connect with other people and they only want to talk to me out of pity. I know I have only myself to blame but it still hurts
>>1548617>Why does this happen? >Where does that come from?
It doesn't fall from the sky, you do it. Probably a habit by now.
You have to be your own greatest cheerleader, deliberately pep-talk yourself throughout the day until that becomes a habit.
Mental discipline is just like exercising the body or learning a new thing, repeat repeat until the wanted neural pathways are well established
moids have no self control at all, because they are pathetic little babies. i was on vacation with mine and the night before our 11 am flight he insisted on buying a bunch of liquor, and i was fighting him in the store saying he'd done nothing but drink in excess the whole time and he was going to get drunk, oversleep, and cause us to miss our flight. he ended up buying it and he didn't even finish half of it because he couldn't just buy something reasonable.
i've had a medical issue where i can't drink for a while (not pregnancy) and he still can't go one day without, he has a drink anyway when we're hanging out. sometimes i want to kill him. and then he wonders why he's getting fat and has bad skin.
if he becomes a full blown alkie i'm tying him up in the closet until he stops his bullshit. you know if men were the ones who carried children every baby would be born with FAS and deformations. imagine a scrote going 9 months without any medications, booze, weed, etc. men are weak little screw-ups with no discipline.
still haven't moved on in 2 years, thanks for the song rec nonnie
. ily it'll get better one day
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I'm so afraid to end up exactly like my mother, I don't date. My father cheats on her and barely tries to hide it. He's always texting with someone and quickly puts his phone away or closes the chat window when I walk by, I bet he thinks he's so sly and sneaky. I'd always known/been suspicious because it was so obvious but I found the messages a few years ago because he was signed in on an account he was using to sext with a woman on the shared computer and I showed it to my mom. All she did was get mad, but then make excuses not to leave him. I'm also suspicious that he had a child with another woman since one day he randomly started mentioning that he wouldn't want to have another child at his age and it would be too much stress. I wish I could tell my mom about what I see but she would never do anything about it, it would just hurt her. I've heard her raise suspicions before and he just dismissed her as if she were a stupid child. I think she's just given up.
I tried dating a year ago but had to break it off quickly when I realized he was a manipulative pornsick narc. Since then I've had to realize that I'm subconsciously attracted to angry men who treat me like shit and that my self esteem is on the floor. I thought it was alright since it was really bad growing up and in high school so comparatively this doesn't seem so awful but apparently not.
I daydream all the time about my husbando and I just wish I could be with him, it hurts so much that I'll never have that life. Every time I see an irl/3DPD man all I can think about is how he'll probably treat me like shit OR view me as pathetic and have no interest in me.
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currently in the process of sabotaging my own life and future. I have considered seeing a therapist so I have someone who can help me get my life in gear but finding one who is specialized in my problems is hard and the waittimes are less than encouraging.
At this point I have gotten so off track that done permanent damage to my life and I'm scared of the future. Yet I can't stop self sabotaging
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me too nonny
. me too. we will find purpose eventually
I spent 3 years living with a bf who worked but outside of that planned everything around drinking. He thought because he was functional enough to work that nobody could label him as having a problem. I found out that right before we met he'd gone through a period of unemployment and drank all day during that period. He'd sure waited to tell me that. That was really my que to gtfo. Our weekends were miserable becase he'd wake up hungover. If we wanted to plan to go out and eat that had to revolve around whether his stomach still felt rough from the night before. He'd take a week off work for a mini holiday and then just day drink and be in a fowl mood because drink doesn't even get him happy drunk. We stopped doing anything fun. It ruined so many weekends, holidays. Time I'll never get back. The people at his work seeing him sober must've been seeing a nicer version of him but at home I was stuck living with mr drunk/hungover. He stank of drink. It was emanating from his pores friday thru monday. I didn't want to sleep with him anymore. I could smell it on our sheets. I didn't enjoy his company. I couldn't bring up the topic even in a mild way without him accusing me of being absolutely hysterical or too uptight. He'd lay into me and use the fact that I had depression ten years earlier to switch the topic and say I'm crazy and need help.
We broke up, he quit his job and now he's shacked up with another alcoholic. She has 4 kids and the last contact I had with him was him bitching that their neighbors keep calling child protective services on them for shit like the baby wandering around outside in nothing but a diaper in cold weather. His go-to whenever anyone points out an issue is 'gawd people are so uptight' He really thinks hes cool and chill and everyone else has a problem. We should all drink more according to him.
My regret is not leaving sooner. When I knew he was lashing out and trying to paint me as crazy for showing any type of concern. When I knew it would always fall on deaf ears. He had a real vindictive side that came out with drink too. He was the shittiest version of himself and quite comfortable in thinking I should accept it
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I just found out I have a brain disorder. I have visual snow and I really thought it’s an eye problem somehow. Then I realized I have it in my dreams too so obviously it’s my brain and I googled and there is a whole syndrome and I have all symptoms. I thought it’s just ADHD. I don’t know, kinda fucks me up to know my brain is fucked.
Nona, it's hard especially if you've had this issue for a long time. I recommend seeing a specialist to help you break the cycle. Here are some small actions you can take to try to help, remember Rome wasn't built in a night: if you know you can't control yourself if certain foods are in your home, make it a habit to not buy it to begin with. At the grocery store, stick to the outermost perimeter where only fresh food like meats and produce are sold to avoid being tempted by snacks or junk. Delete any food delivery apps you may have. Drink more water, avoid appetite stimulants like weed. When you cook, do not immediately eat. Instead, immediately portion out extra into Tupperware, portion out your meal, then clean dishes and then eat. Cook before you are famished hungry so your eyes don't become bigger than your stomach. Put together a playlist and go for small walks and try to make it a habit.
Good luck nonnie
, hope these help.
Not trying to be an ass, but maybe you have some self shame beliefs rooted in childhood? Even good well meaning parents can cause stuff we have to root out. Like the father who solved the puzzle for his daughter to “help her”, while encouraging the sons to do it themselves. (Encourages learned helplessness and a lack of belief in yourself.) or it’s common in women with a mother wound because a subset of moms would walk in the room when we were children and tell us how lazy we were for sitting or just enjoying a “non productive hobby”. They meant well maybe in some of those cases, but they can make us feel that stress and anxiety later as adults when we take similar “breaks.” We also live in a hustle culture where people constantly lie about being on the grind and use anecdotal evidence and stories to prove there’s nothing wrong with a rigged system. Not saying don’t work hard, but who benefits when you feel like you aren’t doing enough? Businesses you work for. Companies encourage family values so they can violate boundaries and make you feel a need to give them more.
I’m sorry anon I hope you find peace and you’re doing a good job. Keep going and try to be gentle with yourself.
these are some good tips, i dont meal prep so often since i share a tiny refridgerator freezer but i'd love to incorporate that into lifestyle. saves buying so many groceries too… and i've been considering seeing a professional to help break that cycle but the last 2 i saw gave the same advice so that sort of broke my hopes there. thank you nonna, i'll try my best>>1548923
i fear stocking up on fresh produce because i'm never sure if it's OK to freeze it in the event that it goes bad and i waste it or what not, but i would love to try celery and carrots on their own. and yeah it's very hard and it sucks sugar just tastes so good but alas it's a temporary pleasure, fucked up my health already(t2 diabetic) and i'm only a few years away from my 30s. would really love to manage that though, i wanna live… thank you as well.
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i hate being so sensitive and caring so much about what other people think of me. i know it’s impossible to please everyone but if someone doesn’t like me it weighs on me. 4 months ago i had a falling out with one of my friends and i was pretty pathetic about apologizing over and over even though she started it and continuing to reach out until she finally outright cut me off. i feel rejected and embarrassed and i still think about it every day. this same friend never apologized to me ever and was really shitty of a friend but i never would’ve given up on her and i feel pretty pathetic for being so invested in and having done so much for someone who didn’t even like me and saw me as easily disposable. i keep making up these scenarios imagining she’s talking shit about me even though she probably isn’t thinking much about me anymore and i doubt she’s as obsessed with the friendship ending as i am. even if other people don’t like me it doesn’t affect my day to day life, if i don’t have to see the person anymore i don’t know why i even care. but it still really bothers me. my self worth is way too dependent on other people i guess
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>tfw you're such a retarded sperg that even doctors and dentists don't want to deal with you and try to send you off to someplace else that's hours away even though they already agreed to an appointment beforehand
I should've never broke my hikki streak. I should've let my body rot at home like usual, I honestly feel worse now. I never want to go outside or ask for help again. I'm so fucked up that you won't even do your own job? I wish these people could've at least told me sooner.
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>go to concert with boyfriend
>excited to ogle cute metalheads
>mfw they’re almost all greasy uggos, like not even mildly cute out of the corner of your eye
>boyfriend is the hottest guy there by far
>mfw forced to be faithful
At least most of the girls there dressed cool instead of slutty
This made lmfao I am so sorry.
Dump that sperg. I would humiliate him.
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>27 year old unkissed virgin
>have a guy interested in me for the first time ever
>i'm ugly but he's way uglier (still find him hot)
>god decides to test me for some reason
>another guy suddenly interested in me as well, really handsome and just my type physically
>don't care because i love the uggo with all my heart
>mfw i'm by far his best option
>mfw i realize if a pretty girl (like the handsome guy who likes me) showed interest in the uggo, he'd drop me instantly
How do I live with this? The only reason he's obsessed with me is because I'm not only the best option he has, but the only pussy available to him at all.
Based on how men are in general.>>1549174
I suspect it's a power thing and he wants a mousey loser who'll worship him just because he's sexy. Whenever I reject his flirting he acts confused as if me not throwing myself at him for his looks is mentally ill behavior.
>my coworker, who was once also my housemate and who has some narcissistic tendencies and likes to switch between being friendly towards me and bringing me down, casually reminds me that when we lived in the same house, there was a time I didn't take showers after work
>I casually admit it's true, Idgaf
>she says it's disgusting and asks how could I behave like this and just go to bed after work without taking a shower
>I say that sometimes depressive episodes look like this and at that time I had no strenght to do anything after work, including eating or bathing, and I was barely able to functioning at work. I also say that for some people depression is so hard they're physically unable to get out of bed at all
>she responds with then they should be locked up in an asylum with disdain in her voice
>I, still calm, say her worldview is quite limited
>she's quiet for a while and then just says either way, I think it's just disgusting
>acts cold afterwards, doesn't look at me and barely responds when I say goodbye in the locker room
This bitch acts this way e v e r y time I dare to contradict her. She said so many hurtful things to me, and I never reacted the way she reacts to me. Was I rude for saying this? Isn't implying that people who are so depressed they struggle with going out of bed should be locked up against their will just primitive and cruel? And why casually bring up my past issue and remind me how disgusting that was? I bet she will still giving me the cold treatment on monday
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Your coworker is a complete psycho and it's admirable that you can remain this calm and polite towards her.
What a bitch lol
Do not engage with this person again, agree with the other anon to just grayrock her. These narcs thrive on drama and conflict and they would love nothing more than to see you riled up and get just as toxic
on their level. Don't give her that satisfaction.
>>1549369>Im so happy our coworker nut case is quitting
Damn anon, I'm very happy for you>>1549378
Unfortunately most people at my work absolutely love her, only one person besides me thinks she's two faced and can't be trusted. I have to admit she's amazing at manipulating and playing nice and sometimes she's so believable I feel like she actually means it. I'm tired of seeing her playing nice with someone and then coming to me and calling the person she just had a conversation with a 'bitch' or 'cunt' etc lol. She already got promoted and has a higher position than me. I know I was more productive than her, but she's perfect as a team player, open, chatty, likes to command other people etc. Unfortunately, your personality, even if you fake parts of it, is more important than your productivity.
She can say something hurtful tovme and the next day offer me help like telling me she can drive me to another town to pick up my parcel or something, it fucks with my brain sometimes
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turns out a pretty internet-famous guy i have developed a crush on is only 3 degrees of separation away from me and i hate that i can't just ruminate endlessly about it because i can't just tell myself "it can't happen" when it REALISTICALLY CAN
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Just as when I am getting over my dislike over trans people I see this. They are always so annoying.
>>1549559>He once said I'm out of his league and I could date most men if I wanted and he doesn't understand why someone like me would choose someone like him, and now he says this shit
All of this makes perfect sense if you think about it from the mindset of an insecure man. Tanking your self-esteem and discouraging you from streaming will decrease the amount of men in your orbit.
If a man can say what he told you about "upgrading your looks", it's a sign that your standards are low.
I mean I think it's a bizarre stance to take that a behaviour you have seen and agree about the interpretation of which with me is NEVER used out of a very narrow context.
What about women who hang out a lot with men and act that same way due to being socialized in a more masculine way? Do you think their motivation is inherently radically different based on who they talk to too?
I spent my life around working class men and women and I've seen both interact in this way plenty, and I've seen women who don't have that background misunderstand what it means.
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want to drop out and work full time and attend school again once i have enough money.
never do an intensive course again
my last roommate dropped out of the university, of course after inviting her sister into the apartment unannounced whereupon they both threatened me and tried to start a fight with me. i had to get a block put on the door and a new key code made by the front desk for my own safety. they tried to kick the apartment door in monday afternoon so that they could get more of her shit that she supposedly "forgot" in the apartment, which was absolute bullshit. i am safe now btw and had management with me whenever i was in contact with them so they couldn't hurt me or anything. the university is also aware of what happened and were the ones who told me she finally fucked off yesterday.
i don't even like thinking about what she did to me because it was just so outrageously retarded, evil, and demonic. she was awful to me from day one - overly controlling with a hair trigger temper that she tried to hide behind this sweet and innocent personality. i swtg i would just walk past her and two days later she was trying to get back at me cause my sleeve accidentally brushed up against her and in her retarded brain i did it to her on purpose. and she had the audacity to accuse everyone else of being crazy, while she herself was one of the most legit psychotic bitches i have ever met in my life. i feel like i should be partially angry with the university, because i see everyone else in my dorm gets along with their roommates…when i walk past them in the lobby, they're all chatting and having fun, going out and enjoying themselves. but then i get stuck with two of the shittiest people both the fall and spring semester. the first girl i got paired with started copying the way i dressed and acted, and then got her friends to write a nasty letter to the university trying to get me kicked out after i was venting about how she treated me to my own friends. and then i get paired with this trashy, ghetto racist bitch with narc tendencies.
i honestly don't know what to say anymore. i am kind of bitter about the fact that she did all of that to me, only to drop out and run back home like a coward. she ruined her own life and her own opportunities, all because i said no to her. she was going to an ivy league after completing her transfer credits at the university…now she can't and it's all just so fucking dumb and i bet when it finally hits her she'll blame me for it, like i was the one who told her to drop out of university. i feel like i should be angrier, but all i feel is an immense kind of sadness and disappointment. i just wish someone would tell me why these kinds of things happen to me and what the purpose of me living with someone that crazy and violent was?
There are some good men out there but the problem with some of those good men is that they can be cowards. They're afraid to either call out bad behavior from other men, participate it, or don't defend the person they supposedly love or believe them when something bad happens. That's the main issue with "good" men.
A lot of the ways men abuse is also through technology so until we write in some privacy laws and regulate porn and mysoginist content nothing is going to change. It all sucks but remember there are people that will support you male or female.
Just don’t be a retard who posts her tube titties on public forums and you’ve got nothing to worry about, nonnie
. If you already did well… take the dog collar off and never put it back on. Also idk why you got nipples piercings if you hate your boobs so much, that just draws more attention to them.
lol no, screw what they think, but skinny is always attractive>>1549915
high in sodium tho,but god damn miso soup is delicious
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I made the mistake of looking up people I used to go to school with. All of them are travelling around the world, married/engaged, and overall have their life together. I just got cheated on, I have no friends and I dropped out, because I've been so upset. Life seems really grim and I am really stuck. No clue how to change my situation and I am not sure I have the strength to do anything about it. wahh wahh wahh
Just checked that thread. Those weren't even tubular breasts, kek. Stop spreading brain worms.
Almost no woman who actually has tubular breasts would ever post them online, and it's in part because of pornbrained stupidity and people saying shit like this about normal breasts on women they don't like. inb4 I get accused of being ass eater
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Yes, I'm saying none of them are tubular. If you could read, you'd note that the replies even mention the dog collar. I'm not even the OP that posted the vent about her breasts, so this doesn't affect me, but it shows the kind of person you are that you felt the need to randomly degrade her when you don't even know who she is. You are a pornbrained, mind-rotted pickme addicted to anilingus arguments and anger LARPing as a based manhating radfem, congratulations.
The one with dog collar was tubular. It wasn't from the side so this isn't a good comparison but you could obviously see the lack of tissue. I won't sperg about it but you have deformed boobs, don't post them anymore.
I'm not a radfem and never said I was, retard. I just dont want to see mentally ill bitches' deformed tits. No one here does. We don't have to coddle someone who posts her nudes on a forum to win arguments.
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You definitely have a malformed mind since you're accusing me of being the anal sperg for pointing out the truth (and using "deformed" as an insult on random women), but thank you for at least not denying that you're a pickme. Praying you don't later make posts seething about feeling fat and/or ugly or moids rejecting you or something, it'd be too hypoctitical, kek.
I haven’t complained about tube tits for hours, so there’s more than one nonnie
having a laugh about them.
I don't really understand the appeal of Shay's threads, she just kind of grosses me out. Now I'm convinced it has a large population of creepy moids hunting for her porn, and BDD women with similar bodies, personal issues or careers to Shay who obsessively nitpick other women's bodies to forget about their own.
They usually relegate their sperging just to Shay, but that thread must've opened the floodgates. For the next few days, we can probably expect to see more posters like this "u are deformed!! tubular tits!!!" sperg absolutely foaming at the mouth whenever they even hear wind of an anon having any bodily insecurity or imperfections, and make it their personal mission to bash her for that sweet emotional high. It's what those women deserve for not looking like hentai, I guess.
Her boobs literally looked like this, why are you arguing about a random anons boobs so much if you're not personally offended? I'm not fat or ugly like you'd like me to be, I'm just an average woman who's disgusted by the anons spamming their nasty nudes. If you spam your nudes in a board that's opened just to nitpick a mentally unstable sex worker, it shouldn't be shocking to get nitpicked by the same audience.
Also it's a deformity, just like how cleft lip is. Just like how men who have gynecomasty(female type of breasts) are considered medically deformed.