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Spooky black cat edition
Previous thread >>>/ot/1332126
Aww poor nonnie
. I hope that you had a good birthday though regardless.
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Lolcow is back I'm so happy (this is a happy vent)
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boyfriend was in charge of packing our belongings after a weekend trip and he left my laptop charger, phone charger, one of my textbooks, and my makeup bag at the hotel but made sure to triple check if he packed his video game bullshit im so pissed because he told me i should rebuy it instead of driving an hour and a half back to get it
last time I keep my air conditioner off at night. Don't want those fuckers thinking my home is a safe warm place for them to squat in.
and just last week a wasp got into my kitchen two days in a row, I think it was the same wasp because the first time I managed to get it out the door and the second time I killed it, haven't had one show up again.
small house in the country is cute up until the bugs start showing up!
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>my partner spent 150$ on a gift for me and i am angry and worried about it because we still don't know how much our bills are about to increase
>the govt only said that the gas prices will go up by 120% soon, in a tiny country where a minimum wage if 400-500eur.
i really refuse to 'treat' myself…
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a new microphone and an audio interface for it. i am just a small audio nerd, i don't apisre to be a celeb or anything but i have a tiny community.
started my period last night which means that today is the most painful day of the week… pain crept up as i made my coffee and i realized i had no ibuprofene left, just the empty box like a dumbass. i hate this stupid cycle, why does my life have to stop and bend because of my hormones?! wanted to workout and be productive today…>>1342637
i feel you nonna. right now really isn't the time to spend money on extra stuff. tell him you appreciate the gift very much but that it's going to be the last for a while
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Finally lost my virginity at 29 and now I’m dating the guy, I guess, and he pretty much only wants sex and it’s already become an annoying chore I have to get through that isn’t fun or pleasant at all. And I know I shouldn’t, but I feel really upset about not being a virgin anymore.
I’m glad lolcow had blackpilled me plenty about this, but it still sucks to find out for yourself.
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nah there are vtubers that are pretty tame and chill. Selen is my favourite, she plays a lot of boomer shooters. She doesnt like getting lewded and her merch tends to be super tame too, she still attracts moids obviously but it's bound to happen if you are a female on the internet.
thank you nonny
, you give me hope, even though selen became popular mainly because she works for a corpo, so it's a plus.
a lot of the indies on twitch i see are sexualizing themselves really badly, an artist who i used to look after (despite her being a severe mentally unstable woman in 30s, i joined her community when she was irl streamer with awesome artworks and work ethics) stopped being an artist altogether and all she does is has e-sex with her 'simps 5$ per message on her onlyfans. she actually permabanned me despite me talking to her for 3 years, all because i happened to dm her top donator who was feeling suicidal. she thought i would steal his money away when i just wanted to check up on a person.
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>>1342765>I would however like more hyper autistic women that self indulge in their hobbies like irl Princess Jellyfish fujos
All autistic women are angels nona
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it's not crying over not having a boyfriend you stupid bitch. This isn't what I was talking about…I want to see brutal artistic expression in a woman that is not centered around men's desires, again a woman that expresses something serial killer like or intense anger and frustration but without the onlyfans and feminist or here, get some sexualization out of me shit. A female rapper/metal singer/writer that solely focuses on this idea and expresses this feeling of being stuck in a patriarchal system, a woman that expresses the same shit a male musician or artist expresses without being limited by being sexually exploited or pandering to males. I want a female school shooter archetype, but not a pick me that does it because scrote doesn't want to be with her, someone with more justifiable reasons to be angry at society rather than being sexless. Someone tired of being sexualized. Most radfems are tame as fuck and parrot the ideas of radical feminism without embodying the anger, isolation or disgust of continuously being seen as a sexual object. For nothing you jack of to fujo porn if no woman sets this powerful archetype in society of wanting to transcend sexualization or gender norms without being a tranny or some stupid modern leftist ideological shit. Most women are tame, if you show some agressivity or anger without presenting yourself as some bimbo femdom type you will become completely socially isolated. If you show any sort of anger without channeling it through a sexual medium or appearance. Autists are also supposed to be angry.
Break up with him.>And I know I shouldn’t, but I feel really upset about not being a virgin anymore.
I kinda feel this too because my first time was not pleasurable and a really pathetic experience. But I'm trying to see it just as if I was still a virgin, there's no real difference. My entire being didn't change when I lost my virginity. And sex isn't just about penetration so being a virgin doesn't prevent you from experiencing excitement during sex later in your life.
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missed you too anon! hopefully we never have to do that again. and damn, it was on a weekend when it's notoriously dead and look at how many anons felt lost and like they couldn't live without LC? imagine if it happened on a weekday
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im so angry im so angry can fucking troons leave the women of my country in peace PLEASE
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I'm trying to sleep rn but I just woke up from two nightmares. In the first one, one of my former male friends took nude pictures of me without my knowing and put them on 4chan, I only knew later because he showed me and laughed at me. In the second nightmare I was walking on a bridge and a guy hit on me, so I roughly told him no. Then later I walked by the same spot and he'd somehow cut his own head off and left it for me to find. I've only had two hours of sleep and I really need more but I'm on edge nonnas they might seem like silly dreams but in each one I started screaming and was so distressed, the feeling is still sort of there
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still angry i'll never be able to have as much fun as the finnish seem to be having
I'm really sorry nonnie
, do you have some silly youtube videos that you could watch and focus on right now, something with only women in it (since all of your dreams involved scary men) ? Don't try to sleep without changing your thoughts first, wishing you good luck
Thank you nonny
, just hanging around this place is making me feel better but watching some silly videos is a good idea. I'm going to start with some cute rat videos. I love you all so much, I can't believe how real those dreams felt, so freaky I hate it
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>It's not lymphoma!
>It's another condition with practically the same symptoms and similar treatment, worst case scenario is still a form of chemo
Ffs, I just hope I'll be one of the people for who it disappears within 5 years.
This sucks Nonny
. Keep us updated, how are you feeling?
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sending you prayers and love nonnie
. i'm sorry. i hope things get better and everything goes smoothly
Very tired and weak, but considering how bad it could be, I'm doing absolutely great. Some people can still end up doing marathons decades after being diagnosed apparently. Others go blind or end up in a wheelchair. Seems extremely random. All things considered I'm grateful I have relatively mild symptoms. From some searching around, seems like I can get a prescription for Ritalin maybe for the fatigue. I'll see what the doctor suggests at the next appointment.>>1342921
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i feel so fucking stupid for only switching to brave now. chrome bloat made me rage too hard
sending you a cute seal video nonnie
, have some good rat videos and a good night sleep I hope
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I wish you the best of luck, these things aren't simple but I know you'll be able to tackle it and overcome it. I believe in you and hope your health will get better and better as you start your treatment. Keep fighting and I hope you feel better as soon as possible
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>mfw mention a new perfume I got and my dad goes "Isn't that what PROSTITUTES wear? Just kidding haha!"
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Gendies keep growing in popularity outside of the US. They're associated with progressive values and appeal to LGB kids and allies, from their point of view it's just "LGBTQ+ everyone is valid
and accepted" or "typical homophobic and trad conservative" any alternative view isn't allowed to exist because terfs are just thrown into the 2nd category and smeared as white women that want right wing men's attention.
Fucking clown world, nothing will get better this will keep getting worse. It's here to stay forever. Only two options exist for mainstream media "watch contrapoints to understand" or "watch what is a women" things are fucked.
Why the fuck did it leave the fucking USA.
I just want one determined "I don't care what happens" lesbian to make videos addressing this shit. Idk if it's possible to make a video about everything that has happened this huge lie and deception that gen z bought into but I would like to see an attempt.
I'm sorry for venting so much but tiktok triggered
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there are already women doing artsy bullshit like that, i want women doing 2 hour long documentaries on why super bing bong wahoo 6 is the best game in the bing bong franchise or sperging about a crappy otome games ala AVGN
but at the same time i feel like when you log off, and go outside, these issues simply don’t exist. at least in my day to day. the only imposition these trannies have forced is their pronoun shit in academia
but now I guess they’ve realized forcing ppl to say their pronouns is counterintuitive
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That thing extremely, painfully, unwaveringly terminally online people do where they decide in their mind that everyone they don’t like (who they’re constantly cyberstalking and creating fictitious reasons and scenarios to hate them harder in their head anyways) have bpd or x trait they view as degrading has got to end. It’s never accurate either, it’s just a series of vitriolic projections cobbled together in the panopticon to make them feel like they’re #pwning them. Shut UP bitch.
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The thought that I could have potentially hurt anyone in severe delusional psychosis haunts me because that is never my intention as a person but like many schizoids I know I’ve been like. Extremely not lucid in the past. The thought that I could have hurt anyone bothers me—however all the men that have exploited me throughout my life can genuinely die and will have horrific experiences from God in the future. But to all the girlies that I could have had any sort of negative impact on when I was hurting, genuinely hope they thrive.
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I got covid and I have to skip two parties this week I was looking forward to rrrrrreeeeeee
God, I feel this so much.>>1343236
Same. I just get so easily fed up these days since it's all so male-pandering or full of fake feminism that somehow always involves a woman being sexualized "because she likes it", barf.
I wish I could find more female fiction authors to read, I read almost only male writers but get sick of women being seen only from male POV. But every book written by a woman seems to either be too feminine (I can't relate) or boring feminist ranting and other woke tropes. >>1343068>Fucking clown world, nothing will get better this will keep getting worse. It's here to stay forever.
I've realized this as well and I wonder how long it will take for most anti-woke types to wake up to this. This is just the new normal and you see it most clearly by looking at young people, they are completely brainwashed. society doesn't just suddenly go back from this level of insanity. There isn't any "culture war", the left won decades ago and now it's just exercising the absolute power it has. No institutions remain unsubverted, it's completely impossible to try to fight this. It's better for your own mental health to stop caring and accept what is coming.
oh fuck im happy that he's okay anon. he should be glad he has someone who cares as much as you. glad you can calm down now.
ngl i've been watching "i shouldnt have been alive", and so many people go on trips then just get trapped somewhere and cant tell anyone because they left their phones etc. i get the "no connection" thing but like i feel like you should at least give a roadmap to someone and a specific time to be at home, so people will know the second something goes wrong. its honestly scary.
you know exactly what to say… thank you. I think for now I have it handled, sent her a legal letter calling out her shit and telling her to back off. She sent a panicked message "look here's my claim number I'm talking to my agent now see see!!"
This was of course after I called the agency, spoke with a claims adjuster and her agent's manager to figure out what the actual hell was going on. Turns out this 31 year old woman made her daddy handle it all for her, and he told her to come after me in an effort to extort funds. Before she even officially filed a claim or police report.
Not today, cunt. Dunno why she thought I would just hand over a grand to her in three days OR ELSE. Fucking dumb sack of shit.
trannies were already well aware of cc but it's never been this bad.
normies really wonder why terfs exist.
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Attacking our little sisters, why are moids so fucking depraved and horrible? I honestly don't want to hate them but they make it impossible not to.
calm down, no i’ve never complained about it before and yes i know they’ve had raids in the past, you can tell by their past threads in meta, but like >>1343378
said it’s just never been this bad.
and LC going down around the same time as KF’s end made it hyper visible to trannies who were on a roll, and new trolls were finding CC through the LC discord or idiots blabbering about it on twitter (unfortunately)
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>me thinking about the CC mods who have to look at gore and cp today just because there hasn't been a mass scrote extermination yet
i'm so sorry, that broke my heart to read. it must have been torture for you waiting on her to finally own up to the shit she did all while grieving as well, thats just evil of her. She needs time to heal? From cheating on you? She's garbage nonnie
i hope she suffers for what she did to you!
i understand how it feels though, my ex told me she never felt anything for me and now it feels like my only expectation in the future is someone who doesn't lie about loving me.
i'm glad you've already decided to end it with her. she's not worth your love and dedication.
you're not alone, keep looking forward and i hope therapy helps you heal from this! you're in my thoughts nonnie
i know this probably sounds retarded but us not being able to have ANYTHING is actually starting to get me down irl. i love CC and LC, but if this keeps up i worry for the future.
it’s funny how trannies keep proving their moidness everytime they react like this.
I encourage it. Nowadays I wear earbuds so I don't even have to acknowledge moids. One tried to compliment me, we made eye contact but I just ignored it and pretended I didn't hear him. I woke up and the next day and my skin got twenty percent clearer. I recommend it to everyone.>>1343414
Trannies (moids) ruining everything again I see. I remember when lolcow for the most part respected pronouns which is the funny part. They peaked us with their bullshit and now they're mad.
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this fucking moid isn’t helping anything i hate TROONS
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I had the bio-chan thread open to post art and i didn't know there was a raid happening, it caught me pretty off guard lmao, i'm pretty sure they will have to turn off the ability to post images again. Fucking annoying.
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, sadly CC have always been raided quite often, more often than LC in fact. CC is a known board on 4chan esp around pornsick trannies because women's opinions hurt their feefees. Really can only hope they are okay now. It's the sadness of every women's space. Even back when there was another board A-something Garden, despite it being barely any active (!) but still known as bio women-only board, it had a whole lot of cp and gore raids from moids. They will make sure to attack any space that allows only us women.
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I went to CC and tried mass reporting a bunch of those threads whilst hiding the images each time. Some of them have been up for like 5 hours. What the fuck CC mods? And I thought our mods were lazy.
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Thank you so so much, anons. You have no idea what your posts mean to me.
Be easy nonnie
. It's a smaller board and they have a much smaller modstaff than us. Just try and bump only cute things on their threads to balance out the scrote energy
The conversation between me and her on that night completely destroyed me. She was so mean to me and horrible. She was so evil, she said she didn't regret it and she liked it she had fun and it was just shit happens. She talked as if she were possessed. She had never spoken to me that way. She told me she does not love the girl and she said she loved me. I thought that was so manipulative. She told me she still spends a lot of time with her. I'm glad she didn't tell me this in person because I don't know what I'd have done.
Your comment means a lot to me. I'm trying to regain the pieces of myself and move on…I am scared of confronting her anymore because she hurt me bad. I don't think i'll ever want to reach out or anything. How can she believe that we're ok? How can she believe that she still has a chance over what she did.
my dad's memory loss is getting worse. he's not keeping track of the present sometimes. he had a lot of untreated concussions as a college athlete, & the issues are being exacerbated by my alcoholic mom waking him up with punches to the head. he's had tinnitus for months because of it, his hearing is getting worse too, it makes me so sick. i cant do anything, we cant force her into rehab, i cant force them to split up, i just have to hear about this shit all the time. its breaking my heart. if my dad's brain gets more fucked up because of this, i'll never forgive my mom, if my mom drinks herself to death the way her mom oxy'd herself to death, i'll never forgive her either. ive tried to 'intervene' so many times but they're both broken records. my friends say i should just worry about myself but it's hard because i just got out of an extremely abusive relationship, im at the very beginning of my 20s, i need them badly right now because i'm at square one, & they always rope me into coming over anyway, & they own the house i'm living in (i dont live with them but i might as well), i can't just worry about my life separately from them because at this point in time they're the backbone of my life & i owe them too much. i don't want to be in this position forever, never wanted to be, but i am right now. they've been mentally & emotionally abusive to me my whole life, & neglectful, yet here i am at their beck and call doing my best to 'gentle parent' them. they're obviously trying to make up for the first 18 years of my life in material ways, & i'm no ingrate, but the emotional labour is getting to be overwhelming. i mean, my ex ruined all my things, isolated me from all my loved ones, drained all my money, lived a whole double life, grabbed my throat, held me down, shrieked & spit in my face, dragged me across the floor by my collarbone leaving a scab, harrassed me for months, i dealt with the lowest rock bottom a person can really go for two full years of my short life, & i have to sit there listening to my mom bitch because my dad bought a boat that he could afford & he has a better relationship with her family because they help him with the boat, & it's because of this that she beats my dad in the fucking head, in the comfy nice house he pays for, & drunk on the wine he won't stop buying her/letting her buy with his money even though she's clearing 3 bottles a night & has caused serious injury to herself at least twice. im at my wits end with this, i am so worried all the time
i don't know how much it means to you nona, but i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. the only thing i can suggest is maybe if you can somehow get him to live with you instead of your mother if that could be an option? like maybe frame it as you could help take care of him if he's in the sort of position where he needs a caretaker? it might not be ideal, but if you could convince your mom it'd be stress and a load taken off of her maybe she would be open to it? i obviously don't know them or their whole situation, but sometimes reverse psychology can work on those types of people. like convince her she would be better off living alone, but still allow them to see eachother ? i also don't know how old they are, but maybe consider getting adult protective services/elderly abuse involved? also write everything down that your mother does, dates, times, things she says. record her secretly if you can? what she is doing to your father is illegal, she could be arrested for hitting him, domestic violence is not okay. i know it might be hard, but sometimes getting the law involved is what you have to do.
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my friends are questioning my hatred of moids and saying i have more sympathy for men just because i'm not ok with one of our friends hooking up/befriending a toxic married man, and it's kinda pissing me off.
they keep saying i shouldn't care, but the guy is emotionally abusive to his wife, and i just don't get how you can even get remotely horny for a guy like that??? also another woman is being harmed in all of this, why partake in it? if you still find him hot after all of that, i think you don't like women enough. im sick of meeting fellow radfems who hate men more than they love women.
hoping your confusion is on their actions and not my retarded grammar.
but yeah, apparently being a real femcel in their eyes is fucking whatever guy you want, even if he hates women.
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>thought i was autistic
>”diagnosed” (idk if i can call it that but trauma therapist called it this) with cptsd
>looking up symptoms
>they kind of align with my traits that i thought might be ‘tism
>difficulty relating to people, controlling emotions, weird affect, numb, distant, hypersensitive to stimuli, might be stunted/childish, poor relationships
well either way im fucked. doesn’t explain my obsessive longterm interests with stupid shit, texture stuff, and a few other things but idk i don’t really care feelsbad either way. who knew being groomed and sexually taken advantage of by nasty men over and over since i was a kid could do that!
I studied like a month and a half for the exam I have tomorrow but it still wasn’t enough. It’s an oral exam, it’s the hardest one I’ve ever had to take in my life in med school and it’s just terrible, it’s so difficult and it’s such a big deal. It’s just so anxiety and fear inducing. I know I’m gonna fail and it’s gonna be so awkward, it’s gonna be traumatic and I might have nightmares about it later. I have two more tries luckily but I should have postponed it, it’s gonna be a wasted try. It’s sad how an actual third of med students in our country has depression and how like one in five of my classmates is hooked on antidepressants and even more take anxiety meds before the exam to calm down. I am not medicated but I honestly feel like maybe it’s easier to be so you won’t be as scarred. Maybe I’ll take some kratom before it, idk. The system is just broken. We all work in hospitals since were in our last year and it’s stressful, yeah, we’ve all seen people die or helped someone not die but these state oral exams we have are such an existential terror that can ruin your life, for me it’s somehow much worse than actually being in an emergency situations, I can always keep calm and think fast during those. I think the school system here is just broken when literally the third of students develops mental illness during living through it. And like I say, those people manage just fine and have good results after graduating, it’s not that they’re not cut out for the job. Our school even had a few suicide cases last year.
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Woman spends time and labour building an organizer for her boyfriends toy cars. Among tons of "shes a keeper!" And little boys bitching that she disorganized them, one guy says she deserves to get her cheeks clapped. That's his compliment. Revolting.
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i was in love with my best friend in high school (still best friends) and i think she’s realizing it now too. we both joked about how we “probably had a crush on each other” recently and it was like a floodgate burst.
But now we’re both married to men and there are so many things I want to say but anytime i think about it i just cry. i truly wouldn’t have survived as a teen or in college without her, and i’d like to think it was reciprocal.
i really love my husband but something feels unresolved with her. i’m swimming in hindsight, and we both don’t want to acknowledge it. i feel like i’m drowning.
sorry to sapphicsperg, i’m yearning.
Husband hat gotten a promotion a couple months ago. That's nice, cause now his position as staff is hight enough to ask for a transfer, and we have been planning to leave this polluted, catholic, mysoginist cesspool they call state. Well, that was until a couple of days ago. He tells me a friend of his that used to work with him left because he got a new job: as a fucking discord moderator for some gaming company, and his friend is asking him to join him on the new job. He then started speaking about how he would get a better pay, and that his really excited to work for a gaming company (is actually a subcontractor call center ffs) and going about how he wanted to get a house close to that workplace. I stopped him. What about moving states? I thought we were moving states, he told me we were moving states. He then answers that we can "do that anytime", and that if I really would hate it that bad living here, even if we "had a good house". I don't want a goddam "good house". I don't want to leave here, period. They are giving rights of life since conception to fucking embryos, they're making vape pens illegal because that's how fucked the brain worms on the people here are. Hell, the place is so polluted and invaded by factories we just had a MASSIVE drought and we didn't have waters for weeks, but you can bet those factories did. We have 9 femicides per day. And he asks why I don't want to live here. A fucking embryo has more rights than me. He kept going on about his family and friends, despite the fact he always complains about his family and claims he has no friends. I don't know, he says he will get sad if he doesn't get the job, I don't give a fuck and I honestly hope he doesn't get it. Working as a discord moderator? You're 30, Jesus Christ, aspire to something better. I'm just so disillusioned with him, I think that if he keeps refusing to move (the plan was to move next year) I might as well just divorce him and move by myself. I feel like and idiot for losing my opportunity of moving out of here with him to being a fucking discord moderator, somebody slap me please
hold onto that feeling nonna, you deserve better. he doesn’t care about your literal rights being trampled on. a house doesn’t mean shit if you’re miserable in the literal city/state you live in.
and if you’re working a job too, then that’s double shitty.
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After years of mocking anachans on this website I think I'm becoming one myself. Near the end of lockdown I started fixating on my weight and how chubby I was and now I keep skipping meals deliberately, admiring myself in the mirror when I can visibly tell I've lost weight, checking calorie counts online etc.
I know logically I'm perfectly average (been told by doctors, and I'm a regular weight but my fat sits awfully at my stomach so I always look pudgy) but everytime I look in the mirror and don't have a flat stomach I just feel hopeless. I started skipping meals because I'm a poorfag and didn't want to waste food but it's gotten to a point where I'll feel sick from hunger and still be able to hold out for a few hours, thinking that I eat too much anyway.
Honestly I'm really scared nonas. I don't want to become sick but I just can't stand my body anymore. And it saves me money so why stop?
I'm so, so, so fucking tired of this fucking scrote. He's a retarded pothead that can never shut the fuck up about sonic or dragon ball or world history. Oh, you think you're ALLOWED to sperg back to him? Yeah, good fucking luck with having to stop every three motherfucking seconds to explain shit to his anally retarded self. He doesn't know who fucking Ernest Hemingway is. He doesn't know who Halsey is. He doesn't know who David Cage is, despite being a supposed video game autist. He's never eaten a green bean in his life. He's a retarded picky eater. He doesn't get sarcasm. He doesn't get jokes. He's too fucking retarded and stoned to just shut the fuck up and let others speak. He's so fucking retarded that he will mention that he's "heard about XYZ" when YOU were the one to fucking tell it to him in the FUCKING FIRST PLACE. Holy fuck. I do not care about the fucking romans. I do not give a single FUCKING iota of a single FUCKING shit about sonic the retarded hedgehog or about dragon ball. I fucking hate hearing him sperg. It is like nails on a fucking chalk board. I want to claw his fucking eyes out when he makes any retarded sexual jokes. He is so fucking retarded, have I mentioned that yet? He is a fucking retard. I mean that 100% in the way that those tumblrtards reeeee and screech about. And by that I mean I am using it absolutely, one hundred percent in a derogatory way. When I call him retarded, I AM all for eugenics in his specific case. He's also on twitter so he's sipping the gendie koolaid. Wants me to paint his fucking ogre nails. Wants me to do his makeup. Personally, I want him to get struck by lightning fifteen times in succession. Always has to bring uo how TOTALLY SMOKING THIS ONE GIRL IS OMFG SHE'S SUCH A BABE. I do not give a single shit you retard and I know you couldn't score if you were the last two people on earth. He's getting incredibly attached to me. Said that he kept repeating my name to himself at work?? And how I'm in his "top 6 friends". God it's a fucking nightmare. It's fucking PAINFUL. I cannot fucking stand this retarded cunt. I have repeatedly ranted about how I will never date a man and that dating men is a waste of fucking time to him so he knows I would never get with him but once a man opens up to you, good fucking luck. Good fucking luck. God I want to fucking SCREAM.
I'm sorry nona. I hope you'll come around and realize food and gaining weight and having fat on your body isn't the enemy. I'm in the exact same boat as you, down to the body type. I've restricted and binged before, I've hurt my body from over exercising, I've ruined so many things for myself because of my hyperfixation on my body. I don't really have any advice for you, because these are things I'm still trying to figure out myself, but I hope things will get better for you.
I've gotten better about things in recent months. I still body check regularly, but I've stopped stepping on the scale every day. I see the pudge on my body, but it doesn't bother me like it used to. I exercise on and off, but I don't feel the need to mentally berate myself all day if I opt for a good, long stretch or easy yoga day instead of a workout. I've been focusing more on my body as a tool. It carries me where I need to go, it does things for me, and I need to nourish it and take care of it. Finding healthy recipes can be fun and a nice challenge, and often can be cheaply made (chicken breast is my best friend now). Oatmeal? So versatile, cheap, and filling without being so high calorie.
Things to not have to be 0 or 100. You are allowed to eat, to enjoy food. I also think that society will never, ever be happy with how I look, but I am also not here to please society. It's a long, long mental journey. I hope you'll take care of yourself. It is not fun existing in such a state of obsession. It's sad and taxing and it feels like there is never any escape, because we exist in our bodies whether we like it or not, and food is around us, everywhere, whether we like it or not. We can exist in harmony with our bodies and food without demonizing it all.
the weird thing is no, i feel like my relationship with my husband is perfect. i want to be with him, but i just wish i had a chance with her? like as in i wish we had even a fling for a moment so i can at least say our love was real even if temporary. things just feel so unsaid.
i’m monogamous and i don’t ever plan on changing that, so it’s all just a weird melancholy.
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I’m having the most uncomfortable painful period pains ever. I feel like I’m going to spit up fire and my pelvic area is squeezing lemon juice out of me.. I feel so guilty because I can’t bear getting myself up in the early morning to go to school because I’m in moderate pain and in my country women have to suck it up and go even though they are in tremendous pain it’s like no one fucking understands how much suffering this is. Should I stay home
But wouldn't he get more acceptance by his kiwifags following to not make any mention of the misogyny aspects? It kind of seems like kiwifarms doesn't care about that at all, and everytime I've been to kiwifarms they all seem extremely degrading to women. He literally brought up both points about misogyny without any provocation, he just immediately was calling keffals misogynistic and providing examples.
I'm still listening and about an hour in he's now just suddenly said why he feels bad for terfs and women right now because women only spaces keep getting co-opted by trannies. He's talking about blogs dedicated to ovarian cancer and womens issues getting hijacked by trannies. Maybe I just have low standards because of how men usually are but I'm becoming more of a stan as the stream goes on
josh has been trying to get women to participate in his site for forever despite having been openly gross and always being extremely chummy with horrible men. the whole reason why they have the beauty parlor is to rip us off, not to mention him trying to take LC for forever, and it's not like he was a great person then either. i'm not saying that what he's doing isn't a net good or that he's wrong about keffals being a misogynist, but if keffals was just a regular right wing male like all his nasty internet streaming buddies, he wouldn't be saying anything to the contrary at all. idk, i'm under no illusion that josh is anything but a pretty typical right wing online male using "TERFs" (who are legitimately right) as a "free speech" cudgel against people pushing back against his site. tons of conservatives want to ally with women from across the aisle for this SINGLE issue, our other rights be damned. which is fine, whatever, i'm glad he's embracing the terves on there. but outside of him having a common goal with terves, i highly, highly doubt he gives even a solitary fuck about women or our autonomy.
that having been said, i am glad he's doing what he's doing for this one specific purpose.
But the rightwing men on kiwifarms aren't trying to co opt womens spaces, I'm going to choose to naively believe that if they were trying too he would be against them too. Also it would get him more liked to just admit to being a trad right wing male than to hide it, based on what most men his age are like nowadays. Plus he has a nice voice, and he's a Canadafag, and he's chubby and I like my men thicc, I'm stanning
"They" are a disgusting pedo troon who harasses us on the daily newfag, integrate before you cape for troons.
go to sleep Blaine>>1344190
Josh shares a lot in common with TERFs, outside of the hatred for troons he's also anti-porn and pedos, i think he said he's asexual or something related and doesn't believe in the ''good'' trannies either. He's a weird dude that's definetly right leaning but he's not an alt right like the pedotroon wants everyone to believe, he has talked against alt right streamers like the Ralphamale and the closeted mysoginistic fag thats dating a cat boy.
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All I want is to follow more women in this scrote filled hobby but they all have fucking onlyfans tied in!!!! I don't want your porn ads disguised as hobby posting!! No one is following you for your part in the community!!! I hate this!!!!
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i hate this job i hate that i need this job it's so shitty and soul crushing and not right for me but i really need it but i hate it so much
I get you, I always try my best to avoid referencing gender in any kind of way because I don't want to hear their dumbass unoriginal jokes or their shitty forced opinions on gender.
Me and an enby were looking at keyboards and he showed me a pink keyboard I thought looked fine (I tried to not show interest because he's an enby) but he then went on and on about how much he loves it and then reassured me that if he bought the keyboard for himself it won't be an attack on his masculinity because "Jojo I reject my masculinity". Like stfu you're pathetic you identify as an enby because "you're not like the other men" and want brownie points.
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>>1342750>truly empowering artistic position of pure self expression and anger without her being sexualized
I actually agree with that, the only exemple of a women being like that that i know of (unapologetically and rightfuly angry) is Lingua Ignota. Does anyone have other exemples ?
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I'm going to lose it nonnies.
Back in 2020 my mom started talking about breeding one of our dogs. Everyone else in the house said it seemed like a bad idea and we didn't want to do it. We said having puppies would be stressful, and that they would keep everyone awake and make a mess of the house. We also noted she doesn't know anything about breeding dogs.
None of this mattered to her. Instead of taking no for an answer, she decided to wear everyone else down over the next year until we eventually said yes. Of course we were completely right. When one of our dogs gave birth to a litter, the puppies kept everyone awake, started shitting and pissing everywhere, and when one of them almost died it was the most emotional and dramatic shit imaginable. And not only was this stressful for the humans in the house, but we have an old dog who started refusing to be upstairs because the puppies stressed it out so much. But hey; as long as mom can churn out puppies every few years that mom can sell.
Fast forward to 2022 and my mom has decided she is the dog whisperer. OF course she's being retarded and doesn't know anything about dogs. She outright refuses to train them, and if you point this out instead of acknowledging it as an observable fact she takes it as a personal insult. But she does nothing to stop them from barking all the fucking time.
And if you bring it up she just says it's because of their nature, and not the fact they receive absolutely zero negative reinforcement for their bad behaviour. Worse, she doesn't control them and they're aggressive; if you take them for walks they actually attack other dogs or people. It's nuts.
But I think what is perhaps the worse thing is the shit and piss. She refuses to bathroom train them, and instead just lets them defecate in the house. There are actually little piss and shit marks all around the house from this.
So because mom wanted to start a puppy mill everyone else has to live in an unhygienic situation. I've even tried pointing out how she doesn't scold them and make them go outside when this happens, and she's outright said she's okay with them going inside so long as it gets cleaned up.
It's like mental illness. And she doesn't give a flying fuck about how its affecting other people
Diamanda Galás maybe? I love the way she carries herself.
That sounds like a nightmare scenario. When I was younger my mom adopted a (one!) dog and couldn't be assed to house train it, so it shat everywhere. It made me paranoid to leave my room because of the smell, plus I felt like there was shit residue on the floors from how often it happened. I was constantly stressed out knowing how unhygienic it was, especially when it shat in the kitchen. And this is just one dog. I couldn't fucking handle multiple dogs shitting and pissing everywhere. I feel for you nonnie
, that is truly a disgusting and abhorrent situation.
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It's really only the tip of the proverbial iceberg too. I'd recently moved back in with them in my 30s while doing some school, and while I was undoubtedly a difficult teenager I'm realizing now that the majority of my gripes with them growing up were entirely valid
. Both my mother and father are emotionally abusive
alcoholics, habitual gaslighters, and I'm pretty sure they're also mentally ill with some sort of personality disorder! Their relationship is pure codependency, and they are profoundly psychologically unhealthy people
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>go to professor's office hours
>show her my project
>"Wow, you went above and beyond with this one!"
>get a 90/100 with criticism she didn't even bring up earlier
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i hate my art!!!i hate my art it's so garbage!!! why do i spend several days on a stupid drawing when it turns out garbage anyway. this is so much lost time i could've used on something else to be more productive or at least have more fun with!! art is a scam i never want to draw again. everyone on the internet who is good at drawing is a psyop specifically for me to make me suffer
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same, if i didnt have such an specific, niche fetish i like to draw i wouldn't have even picked up a pencil in the first place. Don't give up nonna, what do you like to draw? checking artists that draw similar stuff to what i would like to draw always encourages me to practice more.
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Kekking at this image, might actually go draw and study anatomy now
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did you all forget about his nasty rape fantasies or the fact that he's into femboys
ayrt, i don't believe men are capable of change tbh. also i doubt he even actually cares about how women are treated in porn, he's most likely one of those "muh dick broke so now
i'm against it" types
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My dream is to learn nipponese well enough that I can rip high quality raws of classic shoujo/josei manga and translate them all. There's no proper josei/shoujo community and I think a large part of that is lack of accessibility/poor scans/translations while shounenshit gets everything from official publishers or passionate translation teams. Also doesn't help that a lot of whats being published these days in the magazines don't hold a candle to older works.
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godammit, i find myself having a big crush on this man that makes these really insightful videos online, but hes so damn old like half of his hair strands has lost its melanin. hes probably a dad or even a granddad. it seems to me like he keeps his online hobby and personal life separated and i feel like a massive creep for wanting to know more about him.
but at the same time, i'm kinda glad. i just got out of a long term relationship months ago which left me depressed, and i didnt know that i still have the ability of feeling romantic attraction.
Thank you nona, wish I could hug you too. It's so much pain to have the responsibilities of life disrupted by your own brain ravaging you. >>1344762
I will go in on Thursday and give a couple days for recuperation. I hope it's not seen as manipulative that I cut or burn myself as a cope, I have to tell them that I forced myself to do 72+ hour "lockdowns" in my house because I have no insurance to hospitalize, self medicated to numb the wounds as well. I cut around my stomach area and it worsened my usual gastrointestinal aches, then taking too many painkillers quadrupled the pain. I think if I mention my lack of healthcare coverage right now disability will be a lot more understanding of my situation. It's gotten to the point where I'm too embarrassed to tell the professor himself (esp since it's a moid) and I need them to email him for me. I feel so weak admitting this vulnerable side of myself but it's better to try than to drop the class immediately
the backstory behind this is that I got roped into in some bullshit drama that I didn't start. even after I tried to escape it people have been harassing me because the drama tripped me into having an emotional breakdown. My moment of irrationality was used against me. I removed myself from the situation, it was the right thing to do, and I've been subject to mockery, threatened in the aftermath despite not even being present there anymore. It's been weeks of bitches beating the dead horse with no idea that they caused me real mental health repercussions. I really hope they fucking rot for this. Like I'm a real person with real problems and this somehow made life a billion times worse. Let me heal and flourish for fucking once please
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I just tested positive for covid, and on saturday I hosted a bachelorette party and on sunday I had lunch with a couple of friends which one just got pregnant and the other two are going to Japan to study next week… Idk how to break it to everyone that they need to get tested without feeling like a complete ass, I didn't get sick until today anyway and I think it might be the person next to me on the train home from mentioned lunch that wouldn't stop coughing that is to blame so I didn't infect anyone, I feel so bad.
At least my symptoms are very mild so far and everyone have taken their shots.
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I’m sad that I get hypomanic phases despite being seemingly properly medicated and do stupid gross shit.
Like bruh why’d I show a trump voting coomer my tits on Omegle that’s psycho
And now I just feel buzzy and weird and funny restless, but I’ve cancelled obligations and extra things for the week cause I can’t but I can’t do nothing either but I am doing nothing
BRB crawling out of my skin, will leave it in a pile on the floor for to trip over later I deserve it
This is my first lolcow post I’m sorry if I’m doing it wrong
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my cat got an abscess con his cheek a couple of days ago and I haven't been able to get any proper sleep ever since; This is the first cat I've ever cared for in my life and I'm scared shitless that this fucking thing will kill him. The vet told me he is doing just fine and that his wound will heal properly as long as we keep threating it as she instructed.
I'm just bracing for the worst to happen, and it makes me sick.
sorry for spering like this nonas, i've missed you all.
Make them understand Bonnie, I've been saying this for the past month.
If Joshua Moon has been whitekgniting for terves is because he sees us as this weak vulnerable women that need to be saved, and we would be idiots if be believed he expect nothing in exchange. Kiwifarms is a ceespool full of reatrded moids, the kind that will shoot your workplace if you tell them "no". They hate trannies too? Good, doesn't mean they're on our side, nor that they respect us on the minimum.
Worst of all is that this is probably what they wanted "oh no who's gonna protect womyn now" and this bitches are eating it. Open your eyes nonas, if they ever got rid of troons, they would target lesbians, single moms, and childfree women next.
you are correct, I get so awk with doctors in that it’s hard for me to say things are going anything other than fine when I do med checkups. The idea of telling a relative stranger about my sporadic hypersexuality and other similar hypo or depression phase issues makes me want to die it’s stupid and I need to fix that about myself stat>>1344883
thank you anon that was sweet
We have one. Is kind of the reason of why I want to leave this place. Growing up here was hell, is like the bible belt on the USA: full of religious psychos with guns. I don't want my kid to experience that. My husband is usually really understanding, but here's why I'm concerned: I already had an abortion once, it depleted our savings, put us in debt for 3 years, and I had to travel to the other side of the country. I don't want to go through that again, it might never happen again, but I want to be on a state where I can have one by doing a 30 min drive just to be on the safe side. I never studied what I wanted cause there's a scarcity of universities here, the state where I wanted to move is famous for its universities, and I want my kid to be able to study whatever she wants without the ominous threat of being part of the femicide statistics here. Husband says he understands and that he worries about that too, but that he feels that if he got a better paying job our kid would get better oportunies in life. I kind of got frustrated explaining that while he might be getting offered a decent pay today, the economics of our state are so inestable that same amount might be worthless next year. And depending on how much longer we stay here, we would be forced to buy a house, and the house market is AWFUL here. On a side note, and that might also be why I'm so pressed about this, I'm an orphan. My mother died of cancer when I was a teen, and dad had a heart attack when I was barely an adult. None of them met my kid, they were both dead when I married. I literally have no ties here. But my husband does, and I'm scared he doesnt want to move because of that, cause it would mean hes putting is family on top of me, and I would really hate that. I don't know what to do nonas, I left some projects because I wasn't supposed to be long term on this state, and if we don't leave it would have all been for nothing. I'm scared that if we stay here we're going to doom our kid to stay here today, and she's going to have the same miserable childhood we had, I don't care if I am dirt poor on another state, or if I have to overwork myself to death to sustain her, at least she will have the stability of a nice house on a nice state.
>>1345115>hes putting is family on top of meNonnie
you ARE his family. You and your daughter are his family. He IS supposed to put you on top of the rest of his family. Otherwise, what is the point in getting married and have kids?
Anyway call center jobs are truly awful and they overwork/underpay you, even if you don't handle calls. I'm in one in Europe and it's fucking hell, I can't imagine how worse it must be in the US. You are also 100% replaceable. He should really think this through, would he really get paid better?
Last week I saw a family driving past me slowly, and realised the daughter was a cripple with downs. They were listening to THE most retarded rural country music dedicated to a province I assume the father is from (I’m Middle Eastern, so I don’t mean the type of country music you’re thinking about) and I realised how much I fucking hate men. Imagine marrying your cousin because the idea makes your worm hard, producing a retard, then continuing to breed because you want a healthy manly-man son. Your 3 (I couldn’t exactly count the kids but there was at least 3) young children are already fucking miserable because their parents don’t have time to spend with them and the poor daughters have to be live-in caretakers for their cripple sister. You couldn’t care less because the responsibility of your disastrous home life falls entirely on your wife. Everyone is miserable except the father who finally got his “heir” and got his dick wet a whole bunch and is going to grill corn for his little nation because they’re now too poor to be able to afford meat in this economic climate. I can tell this is the case because it’s very common here, all of them looked alike and the cripple was a blonde, so it’s obvious that there’s a lot of inbreeding going on. None of this would’ve happened if women were free to reproduce with men they chose, we want genetic diversity and whatever is healthy for our children. But we can’t have that because mister scrote has the hots for his little cousin! They ruin everything, they’re the sole reason why women and children are fucking miserable. He made them poor, he made them mentally ill, he ruined the children’s livelihoods and the woman’s health by constantly impregnating her.
They’re nothing but parasites that will stop at nothing. Morality is a female concept.
I really feel for trans men, mostly because I feel like I went in the opposite direction and it's hell, but it's like, I haven't taken permanently altering hormones at least. It's no less depressing, though.
Leaning into the whole feminine sex object schtick is shit. I hate it I am like this and I wish I knew how people detransed because maybe it would help me get away from thinking that my only worth is as a sex object.
I am 25 and I am aware I'm going to look ugly and unfuckable soon. I feel too ugly so there are nearly zero existing photos of me. There are 2-4 existing photos of me and my bf because I feel so fucking ugly.
The funny thing is, it doesn't matter what you do. I have hobbies like art that I enjoy, I take hard math and science classes for fun at my cc, I work full-time in a relatively fulfilling job, I work out, I have a good relationship, but none of it beats sexual attention. I wish I could do OF, porn, or strip, but I am certain I'm too ugly to do it even though on paper I might be attractive. I get attention from others irl for my appearance, but it's like, all women get that treatment, so it means nothing.
I wish I could fix my damaged brain. I don't know how trans people fix theirs. I feel like I'm a trans women except I'm cis.
>>1345463>Why do you need to commodity your looks if you make money already?
I feel like you need to if you actually want to be attractive. >Why do you need monetary proof that you're pretty?
I guess I feel like it would maybe actually convince me I'm attractive. >You already judge yourself attractive you must get validation to conclude that.
If I feel attractive, I conclude that since it's from outside validation, it's trash. Men and people will call ugly people attractive. It doesn't mean anything in reality. I don't know how to solve this paradox. I don't truly feel validated, but I do in the moment. But it is meaningless. People like to think of themselves as attractive, so it is likely I'm delusional.
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I’m unsure if this is the right thread for this and I know this is a bit pathetic but today was the first day I have a friend text me first. I know it’s a small thing but it’s the first time this has happened for me and it’s nice to think that somebody is thinking of me. What was unusual is that I don’t talk to her that much, only talking to her once irl beforehand and texting her a few times. I’m still happy about this though
The problem isn't how you look, it's how much attention you're giving how you look. Chances are you look completely normal.>If I feel attractive, I conclude that since it's from outside validation, it's trash
So what use is commodifying your looks? You already know that other people aren't an accurate measure of anything.>So it is likely I'm delusional.
I think you're probably quite good at judging your own attractiveness but then your low self-esteem gets in the way. If you feel attractive it's because you're seeing yourself as you actually are before your brain steps in and sabotages your thinking
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>busy being a new district manager for a business
>multiple bullshit calls a day esp at peak evening hour when I'm dealing with problem accounts
>ask live-in bf with a sleepy gov't job to please take my dog after work to the vet for vaccines
>mf cannot handle a simple task by himself
>calls me not once but TWICE to bother me with non-issues from the vet that he could have just communicated over text
>bc I was being bombarded with calls by his third call ending (juggling a call from my own boss) apparently I frustrated and said "Jesus Christ everyone be quiet!" before bf took me off speaker and hung up the phone
>called him back later to get the full story about the vet visit
>oops I need to go back there next weekend anyway bc broke joke bf couldn't afford to pay the vaccine cost
>"Oh and I apologized at the vet office for you and downplayed your attitude."
>"You yelled over the phone "JESUS CHRIST EVERYONE BE QUIET!" when I had you on speaker before you hung up which made you sound like a Karen but dw I told them you were in a new role and were very busy."
YOU FUCKING IDIOT WHY INSTEAD OF FRAMING IT LIKE I'M SOME KAREN THAT CANNOT HANDLE PRESSURE THAT MAYBE REFLECTING ON TRYING TO CALL ME THREE SEPARATE TIMES WHEN I AM ON CLOCK AND BUSY MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN THE BEST IDEA ESPECIALLY BECAUSE ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS COLLECT INFORMATION FROM THE VET BECAUSE YOU ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING TODAY DURING THE VISIT REGARDLESS SO WHAT DID MY INPUT EVEN FUCKING MATTER YOU STUPID FUCKING HOSS JFC JFC JFC
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>>1345600>giving the task of taking care of a living being to a man and not to a reliable friend/family member
I've read mommy forums on the internet about how their scrote baby daddies cannot even set and follow through with doctor appointments by themselves for their own kids.>>1345617>implying there is a Nigel out there who doesn't
It's bleak for straight women.
Either settle for the most demi-competent man who pisses you off the least, or confine your life to singledom and keep men at arm's length for the occassional wallet, human dildo, or ignore your needs to entertain none of em at all.
I'm the anon from the top 2 posts you're replying too and now I'm very sad, thanks for showing me this though. I'm glad I saw this before I wasted any more time on his livestreams.>>1345126
Not a moid or a simp just desperate to believe that not all men are garbage but men keep proving me wrong.
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Makes me want to cry thinking about all the times in the past I have taken out issues I have caused by MEN on women. Genuinely haunts me, genuinely upsets me. I know I’m not the only one either, why do we let the horrible things that men have done to us make us in turn lash out on other women instead. Why is this such a common issue? I refuse to entertain any sort of narrative like that anymore, and I obviously can’t go back and change things but I refuse to let that happen now. I think I stay here because for one, I don’t have to do the stupid social media song and dance but also because it really is one of the only places online where there is a major push for holding men accountable without the weird, sneaky, respectability politics and manipulative rituals that are on apps like twitter. I’m just glad I don’t feel that way anymore but I’m angry.
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I need to move out but only have $1.86 in the bank and $40 in my wallet. My mother is actually driving me insane. I can’t take it anymore.
if you aren't autistic it's easy, see watch:>>1345832
smells like ball sweat. close your eyes and you can catch a whiff.
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dealing with the reality that i am so emotionally broken that i am not heterosexual or anythingsexual, that i fear sex from the one man who has ever loved me gently, and that i am essentially leeching off of him and using him to feel safe because i can’t love him or anyone with my entire heart. i can’t tell anyone the reality of what i’m feeling or what i’ve been through because they’ll feel like they’ve failed me, so i relentlessly blogpost about it here. i am irreversibly damaged, living in a dream state, ready to crack at any second. i maintain the facade and smile and laugh and hold down an office job and cook and clean and coddle and fawn and do everything i am supposed to do except for physical intimacy and it kills me inside.
i can’t believe how much of the childhood sexual abuse i mental gymnastics’d myself into forgetting, i don’t understand how i’ve been raped this many times, i don’t understand it and i want to forget again. i’ve never truly been happy. i’m either numb or broken down. i tried to express it but was met with “i see you happy sometimes!” and of course you do because i try so hard to be kind and smiling and outwardly happy for you because i love you with the excuse of a heart i have left. you wouldn’t love me if i were the miserable broken woman i actually am. the small pieces that slip through are enough to disturb you, enough to make you angry and upset because it scares you, and it scares me too.
i truly believe that if i were alone i would shoot myself. i am so disgustingly selfish to waste his and everyone’s time like this when they could have had a normal girlfriend, a normal daughter, a normal sister. i need their help, i need to break down into tears and cry and be held, but i can’t do it because it would hurt them all too much.
tomorrow i’ll wake up at 7 AM and do it all over again. i’ll run downstairs and make breakfast before my 7:30 meeting. i’ll work. i’ll get stressed when someone asks me something or puts me on the spot. i’ll take my medicine when that happens. i’ll log off and make dinner. we’ll talk and laugh and watch a show, we’ll turn into bed, maybe i’ll read, i’ll comfort you while you talk about something that’s bothering you, we’ll cuddle, and then you’ll touch me, and i’ll flinch reflexively, and you’ll wish i wasn’t this way. you’ll get out of bed and take care of it yourself, and i’ll roll over and cry silently, like i am now, like i always do. i cry for both of us because i love you and i wish i wasn’t this way, either.
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ntarty but is it Magic? If not, venting for the same reasons.
The Magic community is a blighted beyond belief, I hate it. It's so hostile to women and has been for a long time. The only women who manage to have a following are literally all on OF and don't actually contribute anything to the hobby. Of course since they are on OF and have an army of white knights to drown out most of the usual nastiness from scrotes, they can wash their hands free of how the community treats other women. Almost every other woman who's who's made a sincere attempt to contribute to the hobby immediately gets shit on and eventually bullied out of creating content. "So when are you making an OF?" is pretty much the new "tits or gtfo." If women point out how sexist this is, they get far more ire from the OF girls (and their armies of coomers) for "shaming" them than they ever show towards the men who actually call them whores. If that doesn't have women leaving the hobby, it certainly pushes them into hiding. Hiding one's sex might prevent direct harassment, but it does nothing to hide the rampant sexism abound everywhere else, even in mainstream communities. It's so tiring.
The company that makes the game has even tried to create spaces for women which fail miserably every time. Pretty sure the last time WOTC attempted this, the discord got shut down within days because some troon mod doxxed a minor or something. Any space meant for women inevitably turns into being for lgbTQ+ (oh and women, oh and POCs). Those dumpsters get filled to the brim immediately by troons of the transbian and former incel sort. The notably excluded demographic, straight white men, then heap the bulk of their ire on women and non-whites for the "sexist and racist double standard" before the transians insert themselves into this cock slapping fight. The troons in this hobby are something else, but they and their own brand of sexism is a whole other topic.
I just wish it was easier to find other women who are into this and just have fun chats and whatever about it with without any moids in sight. I've been sorely tempted to make a thread in /m/ but I doubt there's enough interest here for that.
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I don’t think there’s anything wrong with women being interested in astrology but I do find it interesting that the only people I’ve ever seen really fixated on astrology are all autistic and view people as equations for them to dehumanize into cliche traits based upon their own narrative, every time without fail.
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everytime i read the horoscope it says i, as a scorpio am sexual, wild, fearless, assertive and a natural leader when i real life i spend all day drawing my husbando, playing AoEII and i still sleep with the lights on because i get nightmares otherwise
I'm sorry, nonny
. Tinnitus is really strange and so damn annoying. Weirdest thing I learned was that in rare cases you could actually hear someone else's tinnitus. It's called objective tinnitus.
True, I wouldn't be as put off by a horror movie if it were the male being sexually assaulted instead of the woman tbh, not that it wouldn't still make me kind of sad and uncomfortable it would be a nice change of pace than the usual. It's like the men making the movie see women and their mind jumps to sex right away, so if it's horror then it jumps to rape. It's so depressing.
I recently watched a movie with a male protagonist who was molested as a child and was dealing with the trauma in the form of a haunted puppet that followed him around everywhere. I actually really liked it and because there was no misogyny and female victims
I could separate my emotions enough to get into it and enjoy the story. I'm sick of seeing women get treated in the media (and the world) like all we're "good for" is sex.
Ew now I feel even worse about the few movies I did watch with rape scenes cause it feels like I was watching some disgusting scrotes fantasy. But your right, and that's interesting about AHS I didn't know it was directed by a gay man. I was thinking if there was a movie where a man was sexually assaulted by other men the gay community would probably be up in arms about how "homophobic" it is and that's probably why not many directors have done that yet.
Another movie I like but that has a very disturbing rape scene that I have to fast forward through each time is Revenge, because the protagonist goes on to brutally murder the men involved. I just looked up the writer and director and it's both written and directed by a woman, so I'm holding onto hope that there wasn't too many scrotes involved in that one because it's one of those "comfort" movies for me because the protagonist is such a bad bitch and it's so satisfying watching her completely dominate and mutilate men lol
>>1346057>fuck off back to twitter
This is hilarious because you’re the one being a reply guy to a post that would most definitely been called cringe and made fun of even at the beginning of lolcows inception. Stop being such a baby.>>1346070
I’m talking about the jock that dies in the bus crash. His mom is a creepy pothead that raped him, because we totally needed that scenario represented.
Sorry nona, I also wish I had more sane people to talk to. It's insane that gender nonsense got this far, like these girls actually expect me to refer to their bearded moid boyfriends as "she" and pretend that him following us into female restrooms isn't gross and creepy? And that I think the girl who was sexually abused as a child and now hates her body should be allowed to sterilize and mutilate herself medically because she's totally actually a boy? I would have wanted them both in therapy to sort things out, but now therapy just pushes them further into being brainwashed until it's too late for them to get out unharmed.
The group might have struggled with aggressive undercover troons/TRA trying to join, or they only let in close friends of people who are already members for safety reasons etc
I started excercising, got a small group of friends, got a job, but i still want to die. At this point i am convinced i was ensembled wrong and i am just prone to depression from birth, or i was right all along and the problem wasn't me but the fact that i was born in the wrong country. I just want it all to end, every day feels like such a struggle and it feels like now i am "better" i actually feel worse, before i could be lazy without guilt, i could find my strange moments on happiness from finishing a good game or finding a new movie to watch, now that i have less time for myself i feel worse, i just want to be alone and do my things but i have to force myself to talk with my friends, work, etc. I am considering becoming really mean and bitchy to my friends so they stop wanting to hang out with me and i can go back to being alone.
That sounds utterly maddening to deal with. I have to deal with classmates and an academic medical program that are pushing gender ideology nonsense. It’s awful how medicine of all things has been tainted so much by this stupidity.
I understand that they’re cautious which is why I felt I needed to basically dox myself to prove that I am serious about joining. I guess I shouldn’t take it too personally that they’re not that responsive since anything openly radfem is prone to attracting death threats and crazy trannies.
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>>1346123>born 2 be sad
this is 2 real nonnie
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>>1346125>tfw the only reason why i haven't off'd myself is because i love my husbando
I am truly beyond repair
, rest assured, your cat is doing fine. just follow the instructions and the problem will be gone in no time! those procedures don't take long, promise!
source: my cat had the same problem last week. healing nicely now.
If you're a vegetable you're as good as dead, so what's the difference?
More seriously though, what are you trying to achieve telling your mother something this insane? You're clearly hoping for some kind of reaction, but what is it? Why not just have a honest conversation about what you want from her and relationship between you two? Get help anon.
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I am not a pickme im lesbian manhater but I feel so deeply the desire to be chosen. in the past I have worked really really hard to earn love and attention from my favourite person at that time. I would make myself always available to them and their needs, bear the brunt of emotional outbursts, purchase gifts not just that they'd asked for but at random too, to show them I was always thinking of them. I would prioritise these people above my own health and sanity, rush to their aide in the middle of the night if they called for me. And it was never enough. Never. The worst part is that they always seemed to have someone they preferred over me, someone else whose attention they were more interested in. A lot of the time they'd come back to me where I'd been waiting so patiently to gush positives about this amazing person, or vent about how they were being mistreated by them. I think by being so acquiescing and available and tolerant of abuse, I showed these people that they could treat me however they liked and I would still stick around. No need to love me or even afford me common decency, because I'll stay no matter what. When they rejected me I couldn't sleep or eat. I'd be in complete despair wanting them back despite having nightmares and panic attacks over them, convinced that's what love looked like. I'd be so jealous of any time they spent with others, any affection they gave to someone who "hadn't earned it" the way I had. It was soul crushing. I hate that I spent so many years like this.
And now that I've built some boundaries and understood my role in that toxic cycle, I'm hoping to do better next time. I desperately desperately want someone nice to come into my life and love me just for who I am, so I don't have to destroy myself working to earn it. And I want to be the favourite. I want to be the most important person in her life where she will always pick me and hold me as her top priority. At this point I don't think I can settle for anything less than complete devotion and commitment because I've been hurt so many times before. It's not even that I want to exploit that power or take on the abuser role in the cycle. I could never ever do what others have done to me, and I feel so ashamed and angry when people compare my codependent behaviours to the abuse I suffered. Yeah my actions have not been ideal and I don't think they're good and I'm trying to change, to be less self centered and impulsive, and more mindful of others, which already means it can't be equated to the actual psychological torture I endured.
But anyway I suppose I'm just very lonely. I don't think I've ever had a real romance because it was always so fucked up. I just want someone kind to see me and fall for me and decide there's no way she could ever let me go. I'll feel the same way about her. And we'll live happily ever after…….
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I just need a hug anons. It’s just one of those days- it’s raining, I’m pre period and I feel like shit, anxiety through the roof.
Home alone rn. Would a hug cure it? No, but it’d help. I’d give one to everyone in this thread if I could
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Same, i wish i had a friend to cry with and then laugh at eachother for being such crybabies. hugs
hope everything gets better.
I was literally having a mental breakdown today thinking about how this has always been my life I'm a lesbian too
. Like you literally described my experiences right down to being the person always having to listen to the people I love gush about someone else. So I don't know what to say other than that there are people who suffer the same fate so maybe that makes you feel a bit less lonely. I became bitter after being exploited so much and learned to set boundaries, but now it's impossible for me to let people be emotionally close to me since I'm afraid of being roped into toxic
mindgames and one sided relationships once again. I feel like I'm the type of person only to be used and never appreciated. >At this point I don't think I can settle for anything less than complete devotion and commitment because I've been hurt so many times before.
This resonates with my feelings a lot. I know it's not healthy but I find myself thinking "Why shouldn't I get back some of what I've given for all these years?
" like the world owed me for my effort. Imagining myself in a balanced relationship seems as possible as imagining myself walking on the moon to be honest.
I'm so sorry you've been put through the ringer too. I do feel less lonely but maybe a bit more sad, knowing you're suffering the same way I am. I don't think its unreasonable to want to experience the kind of love you worked so hard to give. Maybe this is uninformed of me but I think that kind of devotion and commitment is necessary for a healthy, balanced relationship. Not the "setting myself on fire to keep you warm" thing but the mutual awareness of exclusive allyship. It's all about priorities right? So I think it's perfectly natural and healthy and beneficial for a strong couple to prioritise each other most.
I wish you the best Nona. I hope you find love someday and are able to open up with a kind, sincere woman who would never dream of hurting you. >>1346156
The fact that I immediately got super excited, wanted to discuss dog whistles we could use to signal each other and which threads to post in, and seriously considered writing posts to/for/about you in various parts of the farms on a special day every month, despite knowing nothing about you except that you responded kindly to my whiny vent post… Thank you very much Anon (even if you were just joking) but it looks like I'm still too desperate.
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That's why i gave up befriending normie women. I always ended up having my heart broken because they would always prefer to pander to men, acting as if their life depends on male attention. I might not have irl friends, but at least I have a few nice female friends online, despite both of them being very far so the chance to ever meet them is extremely unlikely. I also stopped playing overwatch or similar games because I would often get a 'nlog' person trying to talk shit about me in front of her friends for picking her champion or whatever, despite not being in a ranked queue. It hurts me so much whenever a woman would talk shit about another, but with men i really don't give a single damn what they tell me.
Good fucking god, I'm so sorry for daring to be a woman who wants something. Not everyone can be as prude as you two. Desiring someone sexually and expressing such is cringe now, got it.
I just don't get it. Something like this happened recently too; I posted something, last time it was a 5 word long and non-sexual post, and someone attacked me over it. I would like to be able to vent in the vent thread just like everyone else.
if i have to read women lusting after ugly mens dicks all over /ot/ then nonny
can say whatever tf she wants about her girlcrush
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My grandfather died yesterday. I honestly feel absolutely nothing. I'm only stressed if I have to go to the funeral and see my family after months and months.
Same. It’s especially bad in male-dominated fields and hobbies but even female-dominated groups aren’t safe. I’m in several hobby communities that are overwhelmingly “cis” women (in one case we have a single female enby and that’s it) and even there women will tear each other apart over purely hypothetical men’s feelings. Oh my god you can’t still like Harry Potter, what if a translaydee comes across your personal blog with like five followers and feels unsafe? You can’t say men suck! You have to say CIS men suck, and only if they’re straight and white and able-bodied and at least middle class. Otherwise “cis” women are definitely privileged over them and who are we to ever complain about anything, really?
All this handwringing over men who aren’t even there
. I don’t expect every woman I meet to be a radfem but it would be nice to talk about my interests with other women without constantly having to center men.
Holy shit your ex boyfriend deserves to rot in hell. Men are actual scum and I'm so sorry for your loss nonnie
. I hope you the best and it will get better and heal with time, just keep going forward. We're here for you and feel free to vent whenever you need to.
>>1346521>he often treats me as an inconvenience
that was your first mistake. i pray for you and hope you will be okay, and may you learn on this moid and pick a normal person next time.
Honestly, it's insane how BAD men are at comforting women. Every time I would vent to a male friend he would act like an idiot, and i am not sure if these are genes or the way men were raised.
I've been getting depressed. I'm so bored. I hate being around people. I hate having to look them in the eye. I hate when they look at me. I just want to stay home. I just can't be assed to care. My friends will tell me that if I ever need to vent that they're there for me. I sent a friend a vent about being fucking bored and feeling nothing at all and he got back to me and was giving me advice. I can't be assed to respond. I know I should but I just don't care. I didn't even care to send the vent, it's just that they all say that they are there if I need to vent. So I sent it. But I shouldn't have because I don't care about the response, I don't care about any advice, I don't care if they try to make me feel better, I just don't care. I don't care to hear about their day, I don't care about their lives. I have kind of always felt that way, not just with the depression. And it's like, what is the fucking point of even trying anymore? When I have never truly given a fuck about the people around me? I'm just not interested. I have struggled with this my whole fucking life. Indifference and boredom and not caring about people.
It's getting hard to get up in the morning. Now my alarm rings three times before I can get up. I just don't want to do anything. I don't want to be around my family, or my friends, or my coworkers, or anybody at all. There is something deeply wrong with me. I want something fucked to happen. I want something big and bad to happen. I want to get struck by lightning, I want a giant meteor to crash into me, I want to go up in flames in a giant barn fire. I'm just so. Fucking. Bored. Everything is so fucking dull and pointless. Everything. The only emotions I can clearly identify feeling are frustration (at being bored) and annoyance (at other people) and that is fucking it. I'm just bored and occasionally frustrated and annoyed. There is something fucking wrong with me. I thought that maybe I just had to grow up but I'm so scared that this is just who I am.
So fucking bored.
Doesn't even have to be over men, ime. Whenever I see any kind of discussion over a scenario or topic everyone is always so quick to blame the woman for not being the "bigger" person or how dare she complain or vent about something when she hasn't done x, y, or z.
People always expect us to be more mature, take more accountability, be more responsible, blah blah blah.
I see it on lolcow allll the time but at least I can say it's probably Kiwigees or trannies.
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The voices just keep going and I've had it up to here with them. I talked to my doctor today but she prescribed me Topamax instead of another antipsychotic. I've looked it up online but I haven't seen anything about it being used to treat psychosis. Here's to another month of this shit.
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I finally got my ultrasound and I’m sad not because I might have PCOS but the fact that they might have to put me on birth control and I don’t want to be extremely overweight like I was when I was on psych meds. I think mine is a mild case but holy fuck, I just can’t gain weight I can’t handle much more of my body issues kek. Rude people outside and my hormones are going to make me want to cry but I won’t because it’s been a decent, stress free day
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Nta but I'm so sorry for your loss nonnie
, I know words means nothing right now but please take time for yourself >any suggestions on any good women centric anime/manga or short cute games
have you ever watched Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken ? It's reallly nice and it's about female friendship.
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Feeling shame because I have a crush on my professor and he's 23 years older than me. Why must I be attracted to nerds nonnies
Even the centipede is judging me!
I can't stand Alice glass. I am happy she got away from the abusive
scrote as well, but she should focus on art and painting or something. Her music is bad– and it's sad but ethan is the one who did all the music. Alice cant write her own shit and now she's pretending to be woke and drinking the tranny juice because she wants young followers to like her. She's around my age, so this behavior is even more embarrassing. I miss old CC from time to time.
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My baby has had emergency brain surgery twice this week and needs another operation and we'll be here for at least another week and a half. I just want him to be okay and healthy and I just want us to go home. I miss my husband and daughter, I miss our everyday routine. What if this third surgery doesn't work either? I want to go back to last week before anything was wrong. This sucks and my family keeps telling me how well we're handling everything but I don't have a choice!! I hate this and want it to be okay again!!!!!
Sending you nothing but positive vibes, nonnie
. I'm so sorry. Praying they wont need anymore surgery after this..
I'm so glad others feel the same way thank you nonnas
I wanna forget about that song because she shilled it so fucking hard. I was shocked when we saw her face for the first time in awhile and it looked like she got a ton of filler? she looks like the average botox addict with the puffy face now. this egirl aesthetic doesn't look good on her at all >>1346738
you made me think, it makes me really wonder how much control she
truly had over the writing because the difference is insane. I know she said he wanted her to be vague in them for the aesthetic but omg. i didn't expect such a massive drop in quality
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my older sister is not only an insufferable narcissist but she also sucked up all the good genes from my mom and left me looking dusty and low IQ. i got so fucked up from our wholesome childhood sibling relationship turning into merciless bullying and harassment because she was embarrassed of and disgusted by me that now i bizarrely seem to make friends with girls who look and act exactly like her (narcissistic tendencies and obviously way more attractive than me) and they keep hurting my feelings and abandoning me again and again. what do i even do>>1346688
same nonna.. at least it motivates me to show up
I was once infatuated with my professor too, he's 24 years older. It was platonic though, I didn't think about him in a sexual way, but it was pretty strong and tbh kind of nice, I like to recall those times. It was useful too, because it gave me so much motivation to be the best in his subject lol.
Just don't take it too seriously nonna. Professors are the perfect objects for our projections.
I feel so stupid and pathetic but I finally had to admit I have a shopping addiction/"problem" (addiction just sounds like such a strong word, but I guess that's what it technically is). It's gotten bad recently because I'm going through a lot of stressful shit and my impulse is to spend spend spend. My old therapist dismissed my concern about my shopping habits because "it's not like you're buying drugs and you're not draining your bank account." Yeah but I have zero self control?? When I was in my early twenties I'd skip meals to be able to afford makeup or clothes. I don't wear makeup anymore and rarely buy new clothes, it's mostly books that I buy, and mostly secondhand. But I can't go a week without spazzing out and needing to drive to every book store in a 50mi radius to see if there's something new, something collectible, a good deal. I don't lie about my spending but sometimes I withhold where I went during the day to my husband so he doesn't ask me how much I've spent. So many of the books I buy are on an impulse and I end up giving them right back to goodwill. I bargain with myself all the fucking time, even right now, I'm saying "oh it's fine, drive out to that bookstore tomorrow, but after that we'll be good, after that we'll stop". It's literally "just one hit" but with fucking spending. I tell myself "oh but it could be so much worse, you're buying secondhand!" while I'm frantically buying books I don't even want I just think they look cool. I had to uninstall eBay from my phone and I'm going to have to block it on chrome on my phone somehow too because I'm just…unhinged. It's so embarrassing. I feel like some of it is a symptom of my OCD but like who has a shopping addiction towards vintage paperbacks? I bought a journal to get my feelings out and it's helping a bit but today I spazzed out and hyperfocused for probably two hours to find a good deal on this old horror book I wanted and I bought it. My husband has asked if we need to take away my cards, if that would make me feel better and help me make progress. I can't use Instagram because if I see other book collectors with books I don't have I feel like I have to have them now now now I gotta spend spend spend. I feel like such a fucking loser and I disappoint myself so much.
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What u feel is very valid
, Nona. Intersectionality/identity politics really screws up the way you see yourself and the world around you, as well as how the rest of the world sees you. It’s literally a skin pigment that people are waging wars about and many gloss over other factors. I’m concerned about your safety as a woman, sweet Nona and being Black makes it all the less safe so please take extra care of yourself and take caution. Idk if this helps and I will never validate anyone of any gender or color who feels like they can disregard somebody just because they’re Black but the best way to protect yourself (when it’s clear who the people around you will side with) is distance yourself from aggressors. I know Black people don’t have to do anything in the slightest that’s considered “threatening” to warrant stupid suspicion (even young kids!) but I just want you safe. I’m sorry if it’s race that even I emphasise here but I also live in America and even other people, yellow, Brown (middle eastern a) whatever, they all move the same as white people sometimes and the only reassurance is some of them may “go easy” on you just because you’re a woman but stay vigilant anyway. Don’t see it as an inconvenience that’s only going to distress you but please see it as a strength even though I wish there will come a day that you don’t have to be strong and just be. Sending you love and I’m sorry again if I come off as tone deaf. I hope you have a good Autumn start and some hot cocoa.
same. Praying for nonnie
and I hope she gets help, especially if she’s some 19-29 year old lusting over some ancient intellectual scrote
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bump because of moid spam. sorry for the inconvenience ladies
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3k apartments? It's the same around here, studios are starting at 2k a month in complete shithole areas. I wish living alone wasn't so pricey :/
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I want to be an untouchable doll. I wish nothing more than to unabashedly wear my frills and ribbons in peace. I'll let a few tears out, but I'll tuck away the rest of my sadness for tonight.
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>finally get to talk to bf after us both being busy all week
>try to play game
>suddenly start having trouble
>can't cope between him trying to have a conversation and my poor skills
>he's apologizing now
>he keeps blaming himself
>i still keep playing for some fucking reason
>get frustrated and raise my voice at him
>end up finishing call in a bad mood and him continuing to apologize
it's only wednesday and i wanna blow my brains out
, I'm the same but for vintage fabric and notions. i also have ocd, so i get caught up in those fomo thought loops too. the amount of money I've spent on fabric is insane and i tried to justify it by telling myself it's okay because it's secondhand. it only ramped up through covid and after escaping a violent relationship. i got so caught up in people posting their aesthetic looking stashes on social media and the fomo around it. i have so much fabric and big dreams for each piece but my disability makes it hard for me to finish projects, so it's just all sitting there. which makes me feel worse.
the best thing is definitely to block and uninstall any shopping apps. and if quitting outright is hard, you could limit it to "x" amount of books per month or even do a sticker chart! put down all the most important things that you need doing in the next 2-4 weeks, or monthly habits etc and if you hit them all you can get a book. having your partner take your cards could be a good option but I'd use it as a last one as you can so you can retain your independence. you're not alone.
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idc what any of y’all say NONE of you can complain about ur looks ever again
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I made a list(i love lists) of all the things i need to fix to be less uggo, i never realized how i got the worst genetics out of all my relativies, it's like i got the bingo for all of the bad ones while my cousins inherited at least one good thing from their parents.
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WHO in their sane mind lets their old cat hang out with a person who suffers from covid while also having a 81 year old living with them??? what the fuck, THANK YOU SO MUCH for possibly giving us COVID too
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My ex gave me a big ol speech about how much he loves being with me but can’t fully commit because he’s not over his last ex. It’s been a year since they broke up the last year they were together was apparently awful, on top of an already very codependent relationship that started when they were teenagers. He kept using phrases like he wasn’t ‘smart enough’ to work through his hangups and that he just ‘can’t move on’ by claiming he’s emotionally immature but he’s not, and he wouldn’t listen to me when I kept trying to tell him that people become emotionally mature by making healthy decisions in moments like these but he just chose the path of cowardness and broke up with me REEEEEEEEEE He said he needed alone time but I can almost guarantee he’s gonna end up banging some girls from his work and then spiral even harder and continue to martyr himself
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I met this great guy while he was here on vacation for a few weeks, we had a real spark and he wants me to come visit him when I go travelling next year. The thing is, I’m not going until June, and since I live at the ass-end of the world it would be an extra $800 at least just to fly to his city, and that price goes up every day I don’t book my tickets. It’s also a long time to cross my fingers and hope that he (or I) doesn’t get into a serious relationship between now and then and that I don’t have to end up third wheeling him and his gf or finding somewhere else to stay.
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>>1346833>>1346842>>1347477>>1347493>>1347506>>1347510>>1347511>>1347521>>1347527>tfw grandma was a child bride baby factory to a moid twice her age>Live in poverty metal shack house for years before moving to murica>Died by slipping and falling in bath before ever getting to meet her>Learn depression is genetic in moms side of family
Gee I wonder why. My life would not exist if tribal ooga booga tradishun married off girls to males at the first sign of period blood, or she either got groomed and raped by him. Mom wouldn't have the same job, shitty racist husband, verbally abused children (me and siblings), genetic depression, siblings 20+ years older than her, no hobbies or interests, threatening to stab me for having emotions and wondering why I stay in my room all day, sleep on the couch,teen pregnancy and forced marriage, timid nonconfrontational personality she passed on to us because she wouldn't fucking exist in the first place!
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Just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to these nonnies that comforted me while I was at the PET scan facility by keeping my mom in their thoughts and prayers. The PET-CT scan came back negative and she's healthy!!!! Love you girls! Thank you again!
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Samefag I have a lot of problems but I am taking back my personality and confidence bit by bit. I am attracted to men's bodies, voices,and "role of protector" we grow up believing in, but ever since I learned the full scope of men's degeneracy I see them more and more as a tool to be used. My moid friend paid for things until I fell for the "strong women pay for their selves!" when it was my parents money. I make my own now and will never spend a dime on a male unless it's a non expensive birthday or anniversary gift. I still blush and get nervous but can talk to people and men more easily. I am still a virgin waiting for an attractive, funny woman or male to come along. I started exercising 30 minutes a day to build up muscles and stamina. I am eating healthier but don't fall for ana tricks. If I don't find someone by 35 I'm picking a sperm donor and becoming a mom with no deadweight. I'm kicking college's ass and refining my wardrobe, skills, female friendships, dehoarding, getting an official diagnosis and possibly medication. I have no limits besides my own paranoid, discouraging mind and the disgusting male plague infecting this planet.
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I just took photos with my body showing for the first time all year, nearly had an autistic ragie meltdown, waited a few hours, and typed out some deranged self-pitying rant fully expecting nonas to rip me to shreds. Before posting it, I took another look at the photos, reread my rant and felt so embarrassed. It's not even that bad, I just need to exercise a little bit. I'm tired of having brain worms
I’m also in my mid 20s newly attending “real university” from a small college and I totally get what you mean. I try not to hold it against them for going out on the piss every night and screwing around since most of them are away from their parents for the first time, but it really does make you think about how easy it is for people to take education for granted. Just remember that you’re there to get your qualification and improve your life. In a few years’ time you probably won’t see any of your classmates anymore but you’ll have your achievement. Your younger classmates might be at the same institution as you, but they still have to put the effort in to pass and get a good grade and the fact you had to work to get here means you’ll take it seriously where others might take it for granted.
I feel a bit old and weird and out of place sometimes too, but then I remember I don’t give a fuck if teenagers find me cool, teenagers have shit taste a lot of the time anyway. As long as you’re polite to people nobody really cares what you do generally.
Sorry for writing a bunch of word vomit but I’ve been struggling with this weird double standard where I think other mature students are really cool but when it comes to myself I just feel pathetic and like I should’ve finished this shit years ago, so I’m not sure if what I’m saying is any help but it sucks and I know how you’re feeling and I hope you feel better soon.
I'm caught between 2 moids right now and I don't know what to do. One is older, more stable, makes a lot of money, has a long sentimental history with me, but is cold to me, stupid, and has little in common with me. The other is my age, brilliant, self-made and hard working, creative and passionate, but he's in the same career as me and we make no money, plus he's covered in tattoos which my parents wouldn't approve of. I don't think the older guy will ever be compatible with me but he seems like the "responsible" choice. I don't know what to do nonas, I know which one of them I truly like better but something is making me hesitate. I'm too old for this.
There's a study on how women (apparently not men if I remember right) with emotionally distant/cold spouses have substantially worse mental health than single women.
You don't have to consider that scripture but I'm getting across that having a cold man is probably a bad thing.
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My gf is upset bc yesterday i told her that i was going to hang out with a friend for a bit, left at 7 pm, came home at 11:30 pm and didnt text her in the meantime that i would be coming home late… She didnt want to talk to me, sleep in the same room with me or talk about it today, just told me that she's angry and upset…
I feel… bad. Like ok, i could have texted her but at the same time she knew what i was doing, who i was with and she could have texted me what time would i be coming home or something. I thought we were on the same page. I dont want to invalidate her feelings but at the same time i dont think i deserve this treatment.
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i am very tired of being unmedicated bipolar i am very tired of self mutilating i am very tired of living in this disgusting nasty house and for me there is no easy way out of this. last night i was bleeding and crying on the floor alone and i think about what i could've done with those wasted two hours
nobody and nothing will save me, no matter how much i fantasize about it, i cant write draw or shove my way out of it, i lack the ambition, and if i am unlucky someone will offer me all the solace and security one day only to strip away my rights and kill me slowly. i am an battered piece of shit woman to the core who never should have been conceived, I will leave no impact, and i will die miserably and unable to weave my pain into something good. fuck what this world has done
Something is wrong with you. It's you
who are the shitty sister.
I want to cry, thank you for responding. I feel so alone and silly. Even my best friends don't see the problem and one blatantly encourages me (mostly because she had to get rid of her book collection so I think she's living vicariously through me). It's definitely worse when the things are usable like fabric or books, it feels more "justified" than idk a moid collecting Funko's. And when it's vintage I always feel like oh jeez when will I EVER see this again?! I got into it really bad with my mother recently who I'm trying to go no-contact with so going out and bringing home tons of books to look at and organize on my shelf is just so soothing.
Thank you for the ideas, I really like the idea of having a graph where if I do X amount of things I can have a book. I think for right now my compromise with myself is I may go to my local goodwill (no driving 40 miles to the "good" ones anymore) and look once a week, usually because I know there's not much good stuff there and their books are only a dollar so I can't go apeshit. No more eBay, for sure, and I try to remind myself that a ton of books I've bought recently on eBay came in worse condition than advertised, like reeking of cigarette smoke, so that will discourage me. I journaled for two hours about it yesterday and it helped a lot. We are both stronger than our silly little compulsions nonnie
, may we get even stronger still.
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Talk to a helpline and actually listen to what they’re saying. Helps most if it is a woman. They’re not giving you everything you need but you need to find a ground to stand on. I won’t dictate what you do with your life but if you want to see it through the end, let the moids anhero themselves and you just focus on you. It’s going to be long and arduous and even if you start to get better, it won’t be the end of it but channel your girl strength and keep pushing anyway. Out of spite, out of anger, just do it.
Make lists even if they’re not all doable. Make more lists and keep doing, keep fucking up as long as you’re doing something. You are helpless right now and I’m sorry for being frank but something I know is you have it in you, you’re just in too much pain to see it. I don’t promise you sunshines and rainbows but at least something other than that. Woman up and keep going since manning up means k-ing ys really and it’s your choice but you’re better than that. I don’t know you but I know you’re better than that, anon. You are mentally ill and it may mean crazy but I hope you’re also crazy enough to think it’s possible to flip your life and someday maybe be there for another girl with bipolar issues and who knows how else you can find ways to live on.
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Why the fuck did i think everything was going to be okay half a year ago? I can't even say anything snarky about this, my bf might get sent to the front line in Ukraine because Putin needs more bodies to throw at a problem he helped cause. There is no reason anyone should ever live in Russia. It's a shitty place. I dont want to give my loved ones to the meat grinder of war to fuel some oligarch kid's Oxford tuition. I just want to live in a normal fucking country that doesn't CONSTANTLY LIE TO MY FACE and doesnt squeeze me dry of my lifeforce and will to live. Please.
I dont even have any words right now, I'm just majorly pissed and extremely tired.
kek you're right, im esl>>1347297
i wish there were multiple fashion threads, i want threads from other sites to come here where i actually agree with ppl usually
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serena got a lot of hate for other reasons too, luckily they both seem to have a good life
are you talking about someone else? >>1347964
she was only banned for 15 months, despite the fact that she was doping for 10 years. the drug was only added to the ban list her 9th year of using it, but it was clear she was using for doping purposes (she claimed it was for a familial history of diabetes, but her reports show she was never even pre-diabetic).
>>1347957>over-animated expressions are probably facial tics>autism
Okay, at this point I'm like 90% sure I got damn autism kek
Had no idea those could be tics
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In the way you’ve typed that, it seems like you already know who you’re picking and you already know what the nona council will advise so I don’t know what else to tell you except to keep your head and hurt safe. choose neither
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I've talked to some friends. I don't trust that a helpline isn't going to call the cops on me or forcibly drag me to the hospital. I have no insurance and I cannot even afford a 72hour psych hold right now. I feel better after having vented out and talked to people. Everytime I have another relapse or breakdown I wall myself in the house for 24-72 hours with the exception of work or necessities. The only "responsible adult" who knows I'm going through this is my boss, my family is abusive
as shit and I'm far beyond the age of grown ass woman to be cutting and burning. what an ugly, embarrassing habit to try and break when it resurged as a trauma response
it seemed like my life was on the up and then something came about that tore me down again. this is the most rock bottom I've been since april. I really wanted to make a difference in the world one day, but it's seeming impossible. something always bombs my plans into smithereens, it's starting to seem deliberate and I'm weaker and weaker. it's like god doesn't want me to be happy, then why am I here on this earth
Nta and I'm not caught up on your posts, but helplines aren't going to phone you in. At least not where I'm from. They are there to talk you down out of a crisis. I've told the person on the other end of the phone that I was planning it out and they helped me calm down and reflect on things. If you're about to actively harm yourself, hotlines aren't who you should be calling and you should
go to the hospital.
Yes, they'll go lengths to be the victim
. They are master manipulators.
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We had this special lunch at the office today. We have it on every new iPhone launch. I mean that's nice and all but I hate capitalism and I hate this job and I feel like a fucking clown. Everyone is like OH MY GAAAWD NEW IPHONE! OUR CUSTOMERS ARE CONSOOOMING! AND WE'RE SO GOOD AT SENDING PRODUCTS TO CONSOOOM YAAYYYY! NOW EAT THIS STUPID CRAB SANDWICH AND DRINK THIS ORGANIC JUICE AND BE THANKFUL FOR THIS DRAINING, MINIMAL WAGE JOB and everyone is like clap clap clap… I can't socialize with my coworkers but on top of that I really despise apple and consooming and I despise myself for not being able to move on to a more inspiring job. Like, how pathetic I must be, to take part in something I absolutely despise? Everyone was chit chating and making jokes and smiling and I was just sitting there totally silent, with 1000 yard stare, questioning my life choices, asking myself why I'm not doing art or why I'm not working as an archeologist and spending my days on some fucking desert sniffing dust from old bones. I have nothing but contempt for myself
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Nona I won’t entertain anymore self-pitying because let’s call a spade a spade. You know what you’re capable of but I’m sure there’s too much that’s getting in the way. We as women have so many “want to dos” and “have to dos” until it piles up because regular shit gets too much on top of things that get in the way since the world is actively trying to harm us because we’re women. Why do you think some FtM trans think masculinizing themselves will solve their problems? It’s a cope. Now I’m not sure what you stand on with gender but the harsh reality is you can self-soothe and that’s okay but the only way really is THROUGH. You venting shows that you do try to get some form of help and it’s nice that you recognise that venting helps but you can’t control how people respond and you know one of these days they’ll respond to you in a way that’s so unkind it will fuck your brain up into thinking you can’t trust anyone.
If that’s how you want to see it then good, maybe you shouldn’t trust anyone to protect yourself but take solace in the way you’ve been holding it together ever since. You’re not ashamed to say you’ve gone through adulthood no matter how miserable it is but you are still going through it. Don’t think about social status right now because what you need is something to stand on. A firm belief in yourself. It sounds corny but if you don’t believe in anything, I don’t see anything to keep you grasping but it’s good that you still try to.
I was also scared to call my first helpline because I also was afraid they’ll lock me up. I couldn’t afford a psych stay either although where I am, I can access free ones although I’m thankful enough to have a family like you who may also be just as neglectful but they at least got tired enough to leave me alone to sort it out. I still am but I can say my situation is identical to you (I’m not gonna say worse even though it might as well be because I don’t wish to invalidate your experiences). What you should expect from a helpline is they’ll want to calm you down when you start crying. It’s important to memorise breathing and grounding techniques because these are things that help regulate you even for a moment. They will direct you to resources. They all sound corny but you must at least give one a try, especially CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I’m not gonna ask you to put your whole faith in these suggestions I give or they’ll give but just make sure you do do something. It’s important to make lists, take notes, and just feel something even anger that makes you want to pace and tire out that manic energy that bipolar disorder tends to give. The important things is consistency. But consistency doesn’t mean everyday the same routine nor does it mean you should let yourself linger in self-soothing. Let yourself rest.
I don’t know what else to tell you because I still fucking struggle and fight everyday but I was also sick of the same limbo and I didn’t want to kill myself that badly. My first excuse? I haven’t tried mushrooms or acid yet. My second excuse? I’ve never had defined abs. What’s my excuse now? I haven’t made all the art I said I was going to do, I haven’t read all the books I wanted and was too depressed to read. Im still scared because bipolar disorder is lifelong and there’s no guarantee I won’t want to anhero myself even in old age but the manic energy I have is now directed into the next day as I take it each at a time. I know I’ll still have depressive episodes but since I started doing shit, those thoughts aren’t as intrusive anymore.
If that’s TL; DR - cheat off me: I researched basics of health/daily nutrient needs/diet/running basics and prevention of injury and I started running with a news/podcast on everyday. That regulates mood. When my body hurts too much to do it, I smoke weed before or after as a reward. Running helped my mood enough for me to think clearly and losing fat and building muscles made me feel good enough to keep doing it everyday and find confidence to walk around my city. I drink wine on rest days and read about bipolar disorder (I can’t afford therapy and don’t trust the free ones available). I save up so i can order research chemicals in Canada (lsd) bc I want to micro dose it when I’m well enough to go job hunting. As alternate to antidepressants. I’m still not at my best but I no longer feel sorry for myself. I choose hedonism and self-betterment. Now if there’s a pill that will help me tolerate men I encounter on public transit everyday that’s not laced with fentanyl, I might just unlock new autist powers. DISCLAIMER not encouraging you to have a substance abuse issue, I just want you to keep going even if you fuck up. Love u
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Okay I’m still pissed so I need to add this on but ANOTHER THING why the hell would you break up with me by saying you needed to be alone but then keep begging me to stay once it’s been said? Like once it was out in the open I kept telling him that I should leave but he kept asking me not to go so we just sat in silence. He was also cracking jokes and laughing with me while we had the lead up conversation? He also kept trying to hold my hand and comfort me physically but I kept pulling away. He asked me for one last hug but I said no. We just stood in silence while tearing up and he would say he didn’t want to be with me but can’t seem to accept that I want to leave after hearing this? He just stood next to his car and watched me drive away I’m sick of the wishy washiness and the self pity and I think he knows what he wants but he’s too much of a pussy to put in the effort to make a mature relationship happen.
She hasn't specifically asked for space. Or maybe the fact that she left me on read means she wants space? I can't figure it out. I want to text her "I don't know what you're thinking, if I should give you space to decide or if I should give up and end it". Maybe even just sending her a message is bad?
> it’s just going to make you look worse in her eyes
How so? Because I'm pushing her boundary?
Thank you for your insight nonas. There were probably a lot of times I had come off as manipulative and co-dependent in my interactions so hearing a second opinion is something I truly appreciate. I'll distance myself for now but I'll reach out to her in a few weeks if I don't hear anything back.
Also what would have been our anniversary is coming up this week, so I guess I just feel sentimental over the memories we used to have and I'm craving to be like that again. It must have been selfish to push her like this.
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Don't beat yourself up, nona. Relationships are tricky to navigate with all the emotions involved. You can't help feeling the way you feel. Spend some time on yourself this week, have a nice bath, get a new book, try a new hairstyle. It feels bad now but I promise the worst will pass soon
well in this case I'm a burger with no insurance. I cant go to the hospital. the wounds I have thus far are pretty non lethal but you have to understand that I can't go to the hospital or else I'll be paying off the bills for the next ten years without insurance. I was still twined for my parents until I was 26 and then it expired out. I cant afford a plan for myself. this has always been a problem for me
I don't think my legs are going to fall off from the conditions of my wounds right now, but my limbs do hurt. That's probably just the combo of stress and them being fresh
I cant go to a hospital hospital. I have work tomorrow. I have to talk to the college about being excessively behind in my work. I thought it would get better but half a week later things are just exacerbating my pain. either way after tonight I'm going to try my best not to pick up the glass, throw it away, and list what I need to do. I talked to some friends and I do feel better, just… sad. Literally and figuratively ripped apart
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I work at an electronics store, and I recently got a part time job at the corporate office for the same company. It's better money and easy work, but when I come back to the store, I'm paranoid that people are treating me differently and thinking I have a big head now. So when people at the store asked me how the new job was going, I'd make a point to tell them at people at the office are a bit stuffy and self-important and I feel much more at home with my old friends at the store. Now I feel like a fucking idiot because I'm worried that I told that to too many people and it's going to somehow make its way back up to the office. God I'm so fucking stupid, this has been so stressful and I just want everyone to like me. Hopefully I can just shut the fuck up now and no damage was done. Aughhh this is really hard, I'm so bad at navigating new social situations and I always mess everything up
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If it body-shames unfairly, it's a moid! If it posts a lot of racebait, it's a moid! If it tries to start a fight, corrects your posts when you are right, if it talks just like a tranny, it's a moid!
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It sucks being the ugly sibling. My older sister and younger sister got all the beautiful genes and I'm left looking like a fucking ogre. Even my younger brother looks better than me. My sisters always got admirers and dates when they were younger. Handsome ones too. They were also super popular at school and have lots of friends. I was a weirdo with only two friends who only got bullied by girls and boys at school. The only people I attract are disgusting moids who are uglier than me. My sisters also receive lots of compliments from family members and strangers about how good looking they are while my own parents have never said I'm pretty or even cute. Fast forward to now, my older sister is happily married to a handsome dude and now has 2.5 kids, my younger sis is going to get engage to a good looking foreigner soon and my little brother got himself a new gf. Then there's me, an ugly loser in her 30s who has never dated at all. Fuck I hate being the ugly one. The only thing I have is a good relationship with my 2D husbandos.
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A friend of mine has been into some guy recently and was hyping up about how he acts like a decent human being (lol) and that he's really tall. She finally shared a pic of him with me and I really couldn't say anything other than "wow he's tall" because my face was like picrel. I can't tell if I'm just vain or if nonnies have influenced me to be a bit more judgmental on the appearance of moids.
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Most men are really ugly at least you didn't lie to her. Most of the time they want validation that the guy they're seeing isn't too
fucking ugly and you should never participate in joint delusion like that.
Schizophrenia lite >>1348360
The way I see men treating/talking/crudely satirizing about women online lately keeps reminding me of an old post I completely forgot about that is now haunting me a little bit. A girl that did the sugar baby thing (I’ve never actually done but I used to follow out of curiosity, I’m nosy) went on a ‘date’ with a man who proceeded to drug, rape her, dig shit out of her ass and put it in her open mouth, and write degrading things on her forehead. He took pictures and attached the screenshots of his messages with her online and spread it everywhere. I don’t remember specifics but she was really confident and apparently that upset him a lot. She said something like men pay me for my time because I’m a gorgeous and a pleasure to be around, you know laying it on a little thick but that’s kind of to be expected with the profession. Anyways, he drugged and raped her, put actual shit in her mouth, photographed it, posted it all over online, and it was considered hilarious and moids loved it. I can’t remember what year this was but it’s really sad to me that it got any sort of positive traction and I feel so bad for her. The fact that men are so obsessed with voyeuring and degrading women that this was seen as acceptable or in any way okay, let alone funny. I genuinely cannot remember what year this was but it was only like 6 or 7 years ago I think?? I wonder if men even realize how creepy they actually sound or if being a gross predator is so natural to them that they don’t even realize they’re the ones that deserve to be shot like old yeller.
My body is also busted. I have the god awful apple shape body with long torso and stumpy legs while my sisters are both the popular and ideal pear shape. The only thing I like about myself is my hands. >>1348393
You know what anon, you're right. I should start working out. Even if I'm ugly forever, at least I can kick ass and defend myself. >>134808
Another anon that suggest to become fit as fuck. I guess this is a sign. Thanks!
"joint delusion" kek. >>1348405
You're both right though, I embarrassingly recall doing the same thing with another friend when I was in the same situation but she was actually honest with me that the dude was ugly.
Is this just the way life is then? I don't know if it was because I was female socialized, but I feel like women in general aren't ugly? Or at least not as ugly as moids. If a girl was ugly, she'd have to be really, really
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Failed my driving test again. Stupid bus was in the way when I'm trying to make a right turn and I got the same moid instructor. Fuck my local DMV. I'm planning on going to different one where I passed my permit test and has very little traffic. This shit shouldn't be hard yet I'm still struggling.
Nta but uh, is your sister reading this thread? Don't blame her dumbassery on us>>1347538>She probably got raped by her "friends" and didn't even know it.
Touch grass Jesus christ. You sound jealous.
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The biggest blackpill is that no one cares about your art or what you create unless you attract other autistic retards who are obsessed with a weirdo who draws video game characters from a game they haven’t even played since they were a child. Or you have to draw ugly men because even the nerd ass women are obsessed with their existence only in cartoon form now. Does it look like I’m a nerd? This is why I barely draw anymore, it’s like the entire craft is filled with these female and scrote autists with no taste whatsoever but are suspiciously quick to shut down people with actual technical skill but give leeway to chicken scratch shit made by their personal cow because they relate to them because they’re an FtM. There are no normal, tasteful people who enjoy or like to discuss other people’s art anymore, they get to avatarfag because they love to see someone on the same level as they are not someone who can potentially get better or be better. My art is always deliberately overlooked. It’s not even that hideous either and I’ve always wondered why
Go away >>1348626
It’s a man, ignore
Why are you making art for other people instead of making it for yourself? Who gives a fuck what's popular. If you make what you want to make and do it with passion people will
notice. I've been able to sell out of my art consistently with only a couple thousand followers because I keep making it and love making it regardless of how many likes I get or how many autists sperg about it. No offense but you sound bitter and jealous, I know that sounds harsh, but it's the vibe you're giving off. Learn to create for the sake of creating, if you really love art.
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I hope you can get back to drawing soon!
Thank you. It’s fucking me up, my injuries happened in hospital because of the staff mishandling me when I was in a coma. When I was waking up and confused, a guard tackled me so hard that he ripped my catheter out and I nearly needed surgery. Now I find out he’s permanently crippled me from damaging my spine, too. I am so full of sadness and hatred nonny
and I don’t know what to do with it all.
But also maybe start doing some muscle building workouts rn in your house, do you have anything slightly heavy you can use? There’s YouTube videos about being fitter and building strength without using any weights too! Get your job nonna!
Moids will really let you down. No matter what. They all fucking lie then play victim
. I just can’t anymore.
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I'm never going to open up to anyone ever again. This year I promised myself to change some of my unhealthy habits and finally "grow" as a person and to stop pushing people away and trying to connect with them. Well, I became friends with this one girl and we became really close and I finally felt comfortable enough to open up to someone for the first time in a decade. We met another girl a few weeks ago and my friend and this new girl got off on a wrong foot but were cordial towards one another. My friend confided in me that she doesn't really "feel" that other girl's "vibes" but that she was okay with us being friends, since we weren't that close to her anyway. Fast forward to last week and it seems like they've talked it out .. and are super close now.I was meant to meet my close friend twice already this week but she sorta cancelled on me both times for the other girl (well she told me I could "still come" but I wasn't gonna third wheel, honestly) and it just hurts so much. I feel so invisible when I'm with them now because they keep talking about their topics and I'm just "there". My friend doesn't even text me much anymore but she keeps mentioning that her and our new friend talked about so many things through text and how much they relate to each other. Neither of them cares much about what I'm up to. I feel exactly like I've felt when I was a kid and tried to make friends. Always being "replaced", made to feel like I'm a burden and pushed aside. It hurts so much. I really thought things wouldn't be like this again because I'm an adult now. Why do people tell me how much they trust me and how much they enjoy talking to me but treat me like this? Am I really this unworthy? "Just reach out to people" and for what? So that the exact shit that caused me to close myself off in the first place happens again?
It's just me being unfit, no health conditions. Whenever I do housechores I can feel my arms get tired since I don't go out at all (besides walking) and all my classes were online up until this semester. Like you and >>1348766
suggested, I'll start doing home strength training while I wait for them to get back at me! Really hope they accept me so I can actually afford a gym + leave my home regularly. Thanks guys.
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I started talking to this girl recently and things seem to be going well but I'm scared she won't like me if we decide to start dating. I have become so emotionally exhausted over the past year that while I want to form close relations with other people I am afraid that I'll hurt them by not seeming invested enough. How can I possibly communicate that I am just a burnt out introvert and I don't hate her? I feel like I'm doomed to shooting myself in the foot by unintentionally pushing people away.
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I’m so glad my mom is going to therapy but I feel like some of her worst traits are more obvious now. Not to mention that she’s projecting her insecurities and fucked up relationship with my dad onto me and my bf, causing her to find reasons to argue with him or call him names. I’m glad to be moving across the country because it might chill her out but I’m worried it might make her worse at the same time.
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My brother cheats on his gf constantly and it drives me insane. Spends all day on dating sites. Fucks his ex gf. Spends all day texting other women.
They've been dating for only a month but are apparently 'in love' while he is doing all this shit behind her back.
If I say anything to her, I know she is the type of girl to live in denial because he's nice to her. And I could risk my relationship with my brother.
It bothers the fuck out of me.
i had a cold more than a month ago, well i say cold, but it was the same time my mom caught covid–and so i think my body was fighting off infection. i already had it earlier in the year.
anyway, i went to the doctor they told me it was a cold, my lymph nodes were swollen, i was fighting off infection. sometime after that i noticed under my neck, right side there was a little lump which i assumed was my lymph node, still swollen.
weeks pass, i woke up today and took a shower and noticed another small bump behind my ear, which feels similar to the first one i felt under my neck (still there btw).
but then i felt this pain whenever moved my neck around and noticed an even larger lump less than an inch above the small lump behind my ear.
all of these lumps are on the right side of my skull, and even the neck one is on the right side. but now i'm really freaking out because i didnt notice this large lump until this morning. this one doesnt feel at all like the small ones and is much harder–its like i got hit in that spot and a lump swelled up, and its sore. but i didn't have anything happen. im really freaking out.
my dad thinks its a bug bite since all of us have been getting bitten by mosquitos lately, but theres no way a mosquito would have bitten me when my scalp is literally covered with hair.
Losing your dad to something like an overdose would really fuck up any kid. Maybe something happened at school and it triggered
some pent up feelings and he just lost it. Completely unacceptable behavior of course, but hes young enough where intervention now can really prevent a massive spiral. Sorry you had to go through this nonnie
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I miss my younger brother so much. I think about him all of the time and it’s so frustrating. It’s really hard when you lose someone you share so many core memories with. I don’t even know how to describe and I’m not sure there’s any point in thinking about it beyond that. We both had different dads than our other siblings growing up so we took a major brunt end of physical and verbal abuse at the time that we couldn’t understand, and we weren’t able to really stick up for ourselves. I get angry when I think about it, and how we both spent a lot of our childhood being told there was something wrong with the two of us over and over to a crippling point. It’s not that I want to talk about it or want people to know about it, it just feels so lonely not having a space to bring him to life again. My siblings and I still can’t really talk about it for long without getting inconsolable, and we know to tiptoe around it to our parents because they directly contributed to the events that lead to his passing. I mostly just miss one of my best friends. I miss us ‘fixing’ our bikes and fishing and spending most of our time outside doing the stupidest redneck shit imaginable. I miss his sense of humor and how he wasn’t afraid to say anything. All the time I wonder what kind of person he would be now and what his opinion would be on a lot of things, and I know he’d support me and none of the things that happened the last few years would have happened. Sometimes I have dreams about when he was a toddler, he had the cutest eyes and hair, and he’d just be there with me again and it would make me feel so happy. I feel so stupid even trying to say it, like I’m not supposed to. And it feels unfair to me, for him, that we can’t talk about it or him without all of us going back to exactly the way it was the week it happened. I truly believe that he has visited me in dreams as himself, not recently but in the past, because the things he says and does are just not something I think I could ever conjure up myself in sleep. I know this is cringe and doesn’t make any sense really I’m just upset. And I’m tired of feeling like the only way you make the grief “better” over time is to just forget about the person that is so important to you. He didn’t deserve what happened to him and I would give anything for him to be here again, and I’m tired of people thinking grief and loss is funny and edgy just because they’ve never experienced it at a degree beyond losing a grandparent or pet or something. It never personally upsets me because why would I let ugly people get to me about something so intrinsic to my life, but it’s weird to me that someone would think it’s cool to attempt to ‘trigger’ someone over something like losing a sibling or loved one in a tragic and terrible way. I think it shows as a whole how disconnected and sociopathic terminally online men are as a whole. Now I’m just schizoid ranting but something in the weather change keeps reminding me of all the time I’d spend with my brother and how much he means to me and it’s just making me wish he was here.
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I saw this a while ago, and it changed the way I think about my anxiety (please ignore the retarded Twitter verbiage). Still, my anxiety pisses me off. Every time I try to do something new and fun, my brain freaks the fuck out and desperately searches for ways it could possibly kill me. Chill the fuck out, brain. I just want to be cool and try new things without worrying all the time. Like I got new cute earrings, and now I'm thinking they're going to somehow cause an infection in my ears or get caught on something and rip the lobes out. Can I stop trying to sabotage myself for even one moment?? It's just new earrings! Fuck me, this brain is a factory defect
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Anon, it's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. Wish you all the best.
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Thank you I’m not a victim
(you know everyone wants women to be the perfect victim
in order to exist) I just miss him dearly. I hate delving into it cause it just makes people cry or makes things awkward, and that’s not what I want at all. In all sincerity his stupid ass would be annoying me and we’d be fighting about a lot of inane things as well and I miss that too! He was both funny and stupid as hell. I wish I could share anecdotes but they’re too specific and I don’t want to out myself to potential family. But either way he used to look over my shoulder when I was on LC on my laptop in 2014?15? and call it “vaginer 4chan”.
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My boss has been ordering lunch for me and him because we've been working OT for a special project, and I've been super grateful because free lunch hehe. But today we ordered from a Japanese place across the street (convenient location, they have a good relationship with my company because my company often frequents there, price is not a factor because we're paying with the company card) and my boss wanted kaarage… and it didn't come with any rice?! You're telling me you charge $25 for 6 pieces of kaarage but don't include rice?! The menu didn't say whether it did or not… but we ordered tonkatsu from here the other night for dinner and (aside from the pitifully sized 6 little fucking tonktatsu discs instead of a whole proper cut up fillet- but that's another vent), it did come with rice. Is it so mad of us to assume it came with rice?!?!
I put lunch out and went to wash my hands and when I came back he was already digging into it and said it wasn't a big deal even though I was ready to call them up and ask what the fuck. Also the portions are small!!! I know we put it on the company card but god I would be so fucking livid if I spent my own money on this place. Yeah the food is good, but it's not difficult to find other Japanese places that are just as good and are cheaper/give me better portions for the price.
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I hate sounding like a terrible person and a friend but I’m so tired. It took me 5 years to build my life together and even though I still suffer from ED and Bipolar, the circumstances of my life keep me from having a proper depressed episode where I can just lie down. I’m 21 now and live alone, although I can say I’m not as suicidal and helpless as before, I know if I just took a day off or miss a day of my wellness routine, I’ll lose so much progress since that can possibly make me homeless. I have a friend in her late 20s who has BPD/Bipolar and is still living at home with her parents. Her parents are somehow supportive but she at least gets to stay with no rent and focus on her mental health and school. I’m practically the only friend she still hasn’t cut off because I am there for her when I’m not working or keeping my own mental wellness in check. I worry for her but I’m also frustrated because she’s the type to just vent and ask me what to do then turn around and do the exact opposite. I know I have no control over what she does but I still want to see her well. I don’t mind the negativity and how she’s just sorry for herself all the time but I’m at the end of my ropes too. I want to be there for her but it feels more and more like my time is wasted whenever she uses me as a talking tissue box and then takes out my battery when convenient. I want nothing more to see her well but it’s taking a toll on me too. In my dark moments, I can’t help but think if I had parents that care enough like hers do, I would at least have a chance to be a more functioning and well-adjusted person. I’m barely just surviving right now but it was so important to me that I felt like I have someone I can be there for in my journey and vice-versa. I feel terrible but I started questioning why I’m still friends with her. I remember her listening to me all night when I was assaulted three years ago and I think I always use that memory to keep strong when I feel myself pulling myself from her. I still haven’t healed fully but I’m doing everything I can to cultivate a life that’s got nothing to do with all the ways people wronged me. I really hate as if I’m making her sound like an inconvenience but it’s really upsetting me how If I’m not working, I’d drop everything for her and prepare all the resources she might need to start a sense of recovery too but she never really actively tries. Now she’s asking me what to do because she started drinking and burning her arms again but I’m already going to work with a fever and I don’t think I have the energy to stay and make an action plan for her that she won’t do. I really hate sounding like I expect her to do what I say or as if her problems don’t matter. I’m just tired and know if I let myself break down, I’ll lose all my progress and livelihood. I’d never try to invalidate her but sometimes, I wish I can also be in school and have the chance to take a semester off to rest and just be sad. In all my years with her I can see we’ve stuck together because of shared trauma but I really feel bad when I sometimes think the main difference between us is how badly I fight to keep myself alive psychologically and in terms of surviving the real world of bills and taxes. I can’t afford to not try to get better even when it kills me to see people my age everyday just living. I’m really just tired and I wish she’d take as much time she spends venting to listen to me so we can get better together. I sound like a fake friend because this is something I can’t even say to her.
Your friend is a fake friend who is only using you and you are getting rightfully fed up with her.
It sounds like you need to cut her off, like all the other people she sucked the life out of did, so she can no longer leech yours.
You can't make your "friend" not be a terrible person, but you are not forced to suffer her. Get a pet if you want to take care of something, a pet will actually love you back.
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I want to smack the stupid out of my ex so bad. I felt like he very unfairly compared his previous codependent relationship to ours and it was our ultimate downfall. I wanted to scream whenever we had conversations about this because he would say shit like ‘We were the same person’ and ‘She was so easy to talk to’ but would then say it was an extremely codependent bond that began while they were still teenagers and that he came out of it with no sense of self. He would talk about how “great” it was (no actually specifics as to why though) until the last year when it apparently got absolutely awful. He said they spent almost all of their time together, had the same major, worked at the same places, did the same extracurriculars, and were basically inseparable. He even admitted to me that during the good years he didn’t really see a future with her and his mind only changed once things started to go sour. He didn’t tell me this but I heard from others who were in the same program as them that it got so bad they were having public screaming matches at school. I tried not to butt in my thoughts too much as I think it would’ve made me seem like the jealous new girlfriend but it seemed so obvious to me that whatever compatibility hey had was completely manufactured and things got so bad because they couldn’t keep up the facade anymore. Everyone thought they were the perfect symbiotic couple but I think it’s obvious it was just them feeding into each other’s insecurities to the extreme.
I’ve been with enough moids to know when one is just faking for attention/pussy or going with the flow snd I really didn’t feel that with him. There’s a lot of stuff he did that I feel like someone just trying to get over their ex wouldn’t. It makes me so frustrated because I really did love him and I felt he loved me but has such a skewed view of what love actually is that he can’t really see it.
When he broke up with me I kept telling him I needed to leave but he would keep asking me to stay. I think he maybe wanted me to try and slap some sense into him but I held my tongue because I’m not going to tolerate playing with my emotions like this because of his own insecurities. I love him so much but I’m giving up on him because this isn’t fair to me at all and if he wants to keep ruining his life chasing the highs of shit relationships then I can’t stop him.
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I've crushed on my friend for a while but didn't pursue it because we both had Nigels, I broke up with mine but she's engaged to hers. He's a typical mid-tier scrote who looks like Shrek and has weird behaviors like constantly checking her location and she never let me come over to hers when he was gonna be home. I feel like she has never been given an orgasm by this scrote, I just want to convince her not to do this. She's only 24 and has her whole life ahead of her yet wants to be tied down to this ugly scrote for some fucking reason. She is so beautiful and I feel absolutely creepy with how much I wish I could tell her she could try dating me instead and be happier than he could ever make her, fml. I will not do this of course but I almost don't want to hang out with her around/after the wedding because I won't be able to hold back that I think this is stupid and a mistake. If I wasn't attracted to her in any way I would say the same just as a woman wanting to keep their friend from being legally shackled to a scrote at 24. She's so fucking cute, not in a way a lot of XYs would notice but I notice. I wish I could just say something but she already had the venue and dress by the time we started getting close, it's over Nonnas
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A game I play got censored, and I don't care about the censorship itself because no content I personally care for got erased (it was Project Sekai, global version removed an event with jungle inspired outfits because of "cultural appropriation").Anyway, while I don't care about the censorship, I am really irritated by the zoomer on twitter gleefully rejoicing about it and I'm trying to collect my thoughts about it.
I think I developed some sort of bias because from all my experiences that kind of hyper woke twitter zoomer is from a much richer country than mine, they never heard of my country or it's troubled history, they never touched grass and don't know about real issues going on in the world right now. I know it's "whataboutism" and doesn't apply to the issue that happened (a silly game got censored), but that type of person just enrages me as a third worlder. Maybe it's because they only use the struggles of other nationalities to put other people down and cancel them, but never do something positive and helpful.
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The story of the event is a theatre play, some characters play the bad guys some play the natives (kind of a pocahontas, princess mononoke thing). The bad guys call the natives "savage people" and that offended twitter.
I can't take americans seriously, they live in first world country, learn shit like "cultural appropriation" and cancel everything.
Seriously they don't have problems if shit like that makes them offended. There are bigger problems in the world.