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No. 1182273
What's eating you?
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>>>/ot/1174281 No. 1182301
File: 1652640979277.jpg (79.04 KB, 669x651, 1651379344203.jpg)
I'm romantically attracted to (fictional) men and sexually attracted to women and idk if society brainwashed me into these dynamics
I like fit men, but they aren't juicy enough, and steroid muscles are ugly. I appreciate a nice ass and thighs on a guy but their torsos… Are so boring. Women are generally much prettier but I see them as my best friends or some kind of sisterhood. Would I eat a woman out? Sure, but mostly for her pleasure and reactions. Maybe it's social conditioning, but the concept of making babies is more taboo and kinky to me than sex.
No. 1182328
Just want to reply to a nonna from the previous vent thread:
>>1182244>Really puts all your past interactions in a different light, doesn’t it?Yes, that's so accurate and makes me genuinely reconsider every friendship I've had with a male. I initially didn't want to toot my own horn kek and assume that they were all fawning over me especially considering I'm not conventionally attractive really, but it's just made me reassess everything since I found out that most of the time, men will only be friends with a woman if they can see some sort of opportunity to fuck her or pursue something romantic. It's quite depressing, as I genuinely thought I got along with this guy quite well in terms of our similar humour and interests. Now that he's got a gf it's like I don't even get a text to see how I'm doing, even though I did the same to him when he would disappear for a little while or seem upset. Just all seems like a waste of time really.
No. 1182362
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i should probably post this in the stupid questions thread, but are shoulders supposed to be the same width as hips ? google says hips should be wider in developed females and my hips arent anywhere near wider than my shoulders. im killing myself if this means i am an inverted triangle. honestly am i doomed ? and i have the body of an anachan so even worse with bones accentuating this horrible shape. i dont have the height to look like the elegant 80s model figure either, not even close. i will crush my child if i ever give birth it seems. i feel like such a hulking tranny right now that im crying. at least picrelated is funny somewhat
No. 1182399
File: 1652646257716.jpg (64 KB, 800x533, uhf.jpg)
I'm turning 30 soon and no one in my family is happy about it or wants me to celebrate it since I'm the youngest and it makes them feel old. Doesn't help that I live with my aunt because I made some bad choices and left a horrible relationship and can't afford rent in my area being single (split rent with my ex). I've been bouncing from job to job all my life. In november I got a job I absolutely loved the premise of, but the company lost a lot of clients and suddenly I was out of work again by january.
Looking for a new job is soul-crushing. My last interview I did very well, but I'm tired of pretending that customer service and case handling is my biggest passion. All my friends are sending me invites to their birthday parties and celebrating buying houses, getting their dream jobs or finishing their education. I'm so far behind. I thought with my last job that I finally had it and that I would make enough money to live on my own, but no. I don't ask for much. Just a stable job. A place of my own. Maybe a gym membership so I can keep working on my health. I'm so heartbroken.
No. 1182430
>>1182414What is this bizarre take, is this an attempt at derailing? I don't believe anyone is so retarded as to read "I have a shitty body shape I look as bad as a tranny" as having anything to do with being told trannies are bad. Being aware of trannies only offers a means of comparison, there is zero impact of anything beyond that.
The insecurity is with regards to being born beautiful and if anything radfems would say it doesn't matter, just pee urself and live your best life regardless of what poison social media pours into your brain.
No. 1182551
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>>1182535NTA, but I've seen it happen in less anonymous voice verified radfem spaces where many were convinced that Rain Dove was mtf kek. Some RF's say "that never happens" in an equally kneejerk fashion to TRA's, without acknowledging that yes, sometimes it does happen. RF's aren't all perfect. It's a bit of a no true Scotsman fallacy to just assume it can never be a radfem.
No. 1182603
>>1182602I know it doesn’t mean much but you aren't
nonnie. I hope you feel better
No. 1182608
>>1182607I want to clarify that the "Fuck all of you" was directed towards my reproductive system and not all of you reading this (unless you
are my reproductive system).
No. 1182622
File: 1652660489783.jpeg (87.63 KB, 750x750, 7002FC3B-1C27-4481-B22E-5923DB…)
>>1182608nona your clarifications are very cute kek, hoping the pain subsides soon ♥
No. 1182657
>>1182643I'm not a burger, but I sympathize with you, anon. It's so scary how burgers keep denying the obvious, and that carrying guns like that isn't a threat when nowhere else in the world we have mass shootings, not even attempts, as much as the US. It's insane. I've seen the argument that guns are just a tool like knives and we should also ban knives and hammers if you want to ban guns, but one insane motherfucker can do so, so much more damage with one assault rifle (or even post, fuck) than one crazed stabber with a knife at the same time and space. I kept thinking as I was commuting today, if there was one insane gunman inside our subway car, it would be game over for most people there. Mind you, guns are not completely illegal in my country, but it's only legal for sport and with
a lot of background checking, psych evals, etc, and they are insanely expensive to boot. I can't believe how people can be against gun control there. My condolences, anon
No. 1182663
File: 1652664902453.png (87.36 KB, 345x356, progress-is-not-linear.png)
>>1182399Happy almost-birthday darling nonita! I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way right now. Please don't think of it as being "behind" everyone else, the fact that you left a horrible relationship shows that in some ways you are doing better than many people in your age group. It's far better to struggle with independence than waste even more years with an awful partner only to die unhappy with them or end up in your current position later in life. I'm proud of you and I really hope that no matter what happens you can change your perspective on yourself and not compare yourself to others. There is no perfect timeline, all we can do is try our bests every day and try to find joy in any small mundane things we can, because life is happening now and doesn't just start when we are finally "good enough"
No. 1182688
>>1182644They always signal themselves,
always. They're the type to declare themselves "feminist" while calling someone a hoe
>>1182651Are you one of those retards?
No. 1182717
I got sexually harassed by one of my now former friends about 6 months ago, all the girls in my friend group have completely cut him off as they should but all the men are asking me to "forgive him" and want to start including him again, including my bf. I never want to talk to this fucker again? But now they're making a new discord server with him in it and it's obvious that this is the new "main" chat and I either join and deal with him or lose my friends. The men still hang out with him without the girls so I don't know why this is needed. Even my fucking boyfriend is trying to wave it away, like he just said to me "sometimes people are creepy to me but I don't cut them off, I tolerate them" like what the fuck is this. Clown world.
This guy got too touchy when I was drunk multiple times, started masturbating in front of me, kept touching his dick through some gym shorts I lent him and humping my furniture, has taken a shower at my place and has probably jacked off in there too (I threw away all my shampoos and body washes that were in the shower after he used it because he probably nutted in at least one of them), all in casual hanging out/house party situations.
He's a literal /r9k/ using coomer NEET who is too autistic to have sex, and that's the excuse people were justifying his behavior with; he's "too autistic" to function correctly where there's women around so I should just forgive him.
And honestly I am coping a bit myself by telling myself "boys will be boys" and that expecting young twentysomething men to act differently is futile. I know I should've dipped right away when they started defending him but losing my boyfriend, our shared apartment, all my friends, and having to start over again somewhere all alone because some guy made me uncomfortable and they chose him over me is just too depressing for me to handle. I feel so fucking alone. I've ranted about this situation a few times here already but it keeps getting worse so sorry if any nonas are sick of it.
No. 1182723
File: 1652671564085.jpeg (41.15 KB, 414x549, 5AF30FF3-7CA0-4B2D-87AD-8050B6…)
Nonas I’m gonna lose my shit. My lovely coworker has a stalker who consistently comes into the workplace, and not only creeps on her but is just so..aggressive in his eagerness to talk to her and any of us now. You’d think working in a predominantly female employed/female customer based place would deter most men but on the contrary it just entices them and that’s how you get the worst weirdos. If I see him my next shift I may lose my job.
No. 1182730
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nonnies I’m not trying to racebait or anything but now i’m a little afraid of going outside after i saw that buffalo shooting. why do scrotes have to ruin everything? nonnies protect me
No. 1182733
File: 1652672501800.jpeg (91.21 KB, 880x877, 916CFB19-6B6E-414C-9689-5DFB41…)
Do you ever feel like you have too many bad memories that you just want to kill yourself. I can mostly forget everything but I have these flashes of long forgotten memories that make me want to impale myself on a stake. They burn so hot, they are so vivid and then they are gone. Just existing around other people is enough to trigger the memories. They are gone so fast and then I forget again. But in the few seconds I remember, it is agonizing pain I feel. I feel so wrong and horrible. I can’t bring myself to face that my dirty, disgusting body was violated and I’ll never get my purity back.
No. 1182742
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I fucking can't with my dad asking if I'm PMSing just because I got annoyed, fuck off my period just ended 2 days ago so definitely not PMS, but in general I just hate the misogynistic notion that a woman displaying anger=PMS
No. 1182806
>>1182742It's always used as an excuse.
Men: Nooo, you can't be angry because I have done something shitty and rude, it's just because you're PSMing and are being illogical/rage driven because of your hormones.
It's them not taking accountability for their behaviour, like saying they've done nothing wrong.
No. 1182866
File: 1652681344778.jpg (15.44 KB, 275x275, mirror.jpg)
I have no friends, I only have "friends" which are just people I talk to occasionally because we used to be actual friends in college. I don't even know if I want new friends and I don't know how to go about making them. It's more comfortable to just spend time alone or with Nigel but that's bad, I think…
No. 1182933
>>1182866you have a independant mind which is such an amazing gift these days. keep progressing in your hobbies
my fortune for you success is within your reach
No. 1182942
>>1182729the only active thread on there is lesbians complaining about trannies writing walls of text about how they'll never be real women instead of just ignoring them
go back to tumblr lmao you people ruined this entire site
No. 1182956
>>1182932I completely understand. It's frustrating and irritating. People stare at me once they learn my age because they don't understand why I'm not married or have a bf. I'm happy being alone, why is this hard to understand? It's bizarre. I feel like we'd have a fun time talking,
nonnie. You sound great.
>A man patted me on the head the other day and people always squeeze my shoulders. People show weird affection to me. I have a touch aversion and people do this to me all the time despite me protesting. I don't understand it.
No. 1183016
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I took 'plan b' for the first time an hour ago. I hate myself for that. I hate everything. But I know my s/o is not ready for any of that. When he came inside me, he ended up having panic attack and spent two hours acting the way I should have been while apologising and being worried about me, but the only thing I hate right now is how I fucking had to take this fucking pill. I feel like shit, I instantly became angry and my hormones WANTED me to burst into tears like crazy, wanted me to have a public freakout which I avoided. But the second I came home I started crying like a fucking whale. I hate everything. I hate myself. I am a fucking murderer. I can't stop crying and wanting to beat the shit out of everything which is not the way I deal with things. FUCK
No. 1183060
>>1183016Sad picture of what lack of proper sex education does to a person.
- even if your partner doesn't come in you, without protection you can still get pregnant
- if your emotional reaction was instant, it means it was caused by stress, not pill, it takes more time
- morning after pill prevents either: egg from being released, sperm from reaching the egg or egg from attaching. neither sounds like a murder to me, there's literally nothing there
No. 1183162
>>1183161go read the old threads, lolcow is shit now
>>twit twit men matter! Feminazi bad! you're literally making men matter, most threads on here are about men or having sex or men that abused you or slighted you or the nature of men
No. 1183184
>>1183162Yeah, women should stfu about their bad experiences, that's gonna totally own men!
Are you like 17? You sound so dumb
No. 1183211
>>118320223 and almost certain to fail too
Where did we go so wrong anon
No. 1183291
File: 1652702433091.jpeg (1.21 MB, 1242x1825, 3E0D9A03-3FA8-4678-9FBD-E496AD…)
I actually feel sick. I fucking LOATHE trannies and men
No. 1183418
File: 1652712631448.jpg (1.05 MB, 1113x1600, stock-vector-the-hanged-man-th…)
I cannot make myself make things. I have 5746351946 things to do but I cannot do them and instead I just order food, eat and scroll through sites all day long. Sometimes I have bursts of self control and plan and do my goals but I run out of drive after 3 days or so. I don't feel human. My life is passing me by and I feel like I have zero control over it.
No. 1183506
The year was 2019 and I was turning my life around after years of being a neet. After getting a job and coming back to uni I decided to give love a chance.
And so I did love him. I shared my body and my soul with him, only to be treated like utter trash. I tried to be resilient, patient. I convinced myself that me, for being full of imperfections, a sane and "normal" man would never love me, but maybe he could.
Everyday he would find different ways to humiliate me. Me, who fought so much to be without meds and live a normal life, found myself ill again, dark. I started having panic attacks again. I stopped eating, sleeping. Hormonal problems, digestion problems.
I came back to therapy. There I found a little strength to speak my mind to him when he did something I would not like. He said I was unbearable when he heard my first complain in 8 months or so. He urged me to leave. And so I left.
After that I was never the same. I did pick up most pieces of me, but I never trusted or was able to fall in love again. I am on my meds again but lord knows I never bothered him again. I carried on, and on.
And now two years later, he wants closure. He wants my friendship and my forgive.
Why? Why should I give him this? I picked up and carried on my life with only self hate, humiliation, I never heard a "I am sorry". I just did with nothing, yet I did the best I could.
I will never love or trust a moid again yet I he has the NERVE think I should give him forgiveness for all he showed any guilty. Must I show him compassion when I had none when I needed?
Don't come back for me. Don't think you can look out for me. I don't want your "guilty", nor your "sorry". I don't want to be your friend.
You don't miss me, you miss having a ghost of a person who would love you and ask for NOTHING, like I did. You are vile, and I wont let you come close to me again.
I dont even seek to let you come so I could speak my mind because deep inside I know it would be perfect for you: leave as the victim of a bitter, angry woman. No one would take my side, they never did.
And if by any chance you are able to feel guilty as you say, I hope you live with it every single day for the rest of your live.
If you really miss my love, I do hope you never find a stupid and naive person again that you can abuse like you did to me. I hope you "miss it" everyday.
I forgot about you but I will never forget what you did to me. My only comfort is that you will never know love. You will always be simply tolerated by your mother and father, and your siblings. You think everyone is mean to you, but its not that. You are not worthy of love, and if even your own mother realized it, if even I did, every one who comes into your life will so, sooner or later.
Don't ever try to contact me again.
No. 1183615
>>1183602>I only was seen as good when I did exactly what she wanted. She didn't care that I didn't care about sports because she liked sportsRelatable. The worst thing that happened to me was losing any sense of self so I grew up without any goals and personal dreams.
Just try to ignore her behaviour and do everything in your power to keep your sense of self. Life is yours to live. I gave long ago and now I'm nothing other than "good daughter" with no actual success in life, goals or career.
No. 1183659
>>1183602>I hate her hypocritical ass and if she couldn't "champion" her own daughter how tf could she with a child with down syndrome or autism?To be fair to her point, she'd make an excellent "champion" for a vulnerable person who depended on her for care who is either too stupid or aloof to notice the shitty job she does at it. Special needs kids are often abused the most because their caretakers get by with doing the bare minimums for them, and any observable neglect is redirected as "challenges" beyond the parent's control so they'll receive sympathy for it.
Your mother is looking at it from the perspective that you are an ingrate for feeling how you do in spite of the effort and investment she feels she put in–even if it's nothing relatively speaking–yet she sees some retard on tv blissfully happy because their potato farmer jangles shiny keys in their face for a few minutes. Oh, why oh why can't you be as satisfied with her parenting as those little potatoes are with their chimey keys anon, what with your spoiled and complicated feelings?
I'm bitter too anon but it's not because my mother will never change to make proper ammends (I knew from a young age that was never happening), but because her actions towards me set me up in such a way to have a very difficult adult life.
Oh I could only do what you say and follow your authoritarian orders? Now I have to break habit of being taken advantage of by my work superiors and feel guilt if I don't martyr myself needlessly. I cannot stick up for myself well and I accept blame when things are not actually my fault just to appease and peacemake.
Oh you wanted to trash my boundaries, parentify, and emotionally neglect me? You wanted to gaslight me about what love is because you couldn't admit you picked a shitty man to procreate with while he abused me?
Now I get to spend most of my life decoding why I normalize and seek out
abusive and
toxic romantic and friendship dynamics while simultaneously making myself a target based on unconscious ingrained behaviors, and then blame myself when shit goes south.
Oh I wasn't mentally ill as a child? I was just "feeling blue" while I had thoughts of suicide about my home life and being bullied while riding home on the middle school bus?
Now I get to enjoy downplaying my problems and avoiding addressing serious issues because I was told all my life that my feelings weren't a big deal and my perceptions about what was happening to me were mistaken.
Yet I'm the ingrate.
She put a roof over my head, and fed me, and paid for my schooling. You know, the minimums, so I should forgive for when she abused me when I was weak and didn't know better.
No. 1183696
I feel like I'm going crazy because I'm so scared of all of the potential side effects of literally every form of birth control. I tried minipill a few years ago and it made me feel insane - my hormones were going crazy, I was crying for hours every day, couldn't function normally at all, almost got fired because of it. Now I'm scared to try any other type of birth control, especially things like the arm implant, depo shot, IUD, etc. that you can't just stop taking if you have extreme side effects. Not to mention I have an extreme fear of having a stroke which basically every form of bc increases the risk of. When I tell people this, they say oh just get a copper IUD, no hormones in that, but my doctor said it can make your periods a lot worse and I already have horrible periods. I'm also so afraid of the pain from having it inserted. All of my friends will recommend various types and say oh I haven't had bad experiences at all but it's basically meaningless because side effects are so variable between women. I just feel like there are no good birth control options at all.
No. 1183702
>>1183667>>1183683So if physical attraction isn't why he's with you, then what qualities is he attracted to you that differentiate you from others?
I guess I could understand him not necessarily affirming you all the time in a physical way if he was at least complimenting those special characteristics that draw him to you.
My guy does both for me but only because he's really insecure about making me feel insecure if he only commented on my looks all the time and not other things.
No. 1183732
>>1183683Nonnie I find it hard to believe he isn't with you bc of attraction. Men don't usually work that way. Isn't there a chance he's negging you in a way? Being like 'I like your personality, I don't look at your looks' is a bit of a put down of your looks and a neg imo. If that is the case, maybe he feels you'd leave him if you felt you're more attractive than him.
Maybe it's not the case, idk. I just know some guys do that.
No. 1183778
>>1183732He doesn't say that, it's more like when we've talked about relationships or whatever in the abstract, he makes it known that physical attractiveness is not important to him. He says stuff like about how he finds everyone beautiful and I understand that, but it isn't helpful for me to hear. He treats me as though I am objectively attractive but I don't get the "attracted" vibes if that makes sense. Like, he does not act attracted to me, but I think he knows I'm attractive, I mean everyone comments on it when they see us together more often than not.
For what it's worth, he told me he could take or leave sex at the beginning of the relationship and this really hurt me because that's very important to me in a relationship and I hate dealing with dead bedrooms, but he saw that and he has sex with me and now claims he likes sex. I don't know if that is true or not. But anyway.
No. 1183779
File: 1652722899405.gif (1.24 MB, 640x342, bdgw2532.gif)
I am so stressed with uni and work yet people around me constantly complain about their shit and ask me for favors and then act annoyed when I tell that that I am literally so close to imploding. Everyone expects me to have time and an open ear for them but if I say anything besides the usual "meh, Im ok", I barely get a "mhm". I vented to a close friend about something really personal a couple of days ago and cried because of it and then I noticed mid-sentence how she barely gave a fuck besides "mhm" and "oh that sucks" and then continued with her topics. She was just so disinterested, which hurt even more than the thing I was initially crying about.
I am busting my ass here but no one appreciates me or even cares about me when I need someone. Fuck this. It's why I never fucking open up to anyone in the first place. Thanks for proving me right, time and time again. My parents are such hypocrites too. Priding themselves on my achievements yet criticising me for not reaching goals quick enough just so that they can boast about me in front of strangers, relatives and their stupid friends. I wish I could just ghost all of them.
No. 1183784
living in burgerland has really hardened me to the cruelty of the world and how despicable humans, especially radicalized reactionary scrotes can be, but this whole buffalo shooting thing has really hit hard. probably the hardest ive been impacted by something like this since the pulse massacre
it makes me want to arm myself and learn how to shoot just in case I ever need to, but being that I'm not white, I don't want to give police any more reason to shoot me. ive already almost encountered that just during a traffic stop. but hell, after watching the video of the buffalo massacre and seeing how calculated and trained this POS was to mow down whatever non-white men he felt like it, it doesnt even seem like it'll matter if I learn to shoot or not if some random unhinged racist scrote can just run up on me in a grocery store parking lot and unload on me in seconds
men don't get it. those who don't pass as white and wouldn't have gotten shot by this killer or any other white supremacist just for how they look don't get it. they won't even open their ears or eyes to acknowledge that this shit exists, let alone that race or misogyny or normalized terminally online behavior is an issue that is actively killing people.
whether it is the people or the so-called government of this poor excuse for a "country" ive never felt safe here, but this has really sent me off the edge and now more than ever I am just counting down the days until I have enough saved to get the hell out of here, which is even more depressing, this is my homeland. My people are indigenous to this country and go back generations. This piece of shit 18 year old euro-american boy even admitted in his "manifesto" that he has no claim to this land yet still saw his actions as justified because whites are just "rooted too deep at this point". its sad to know that I have to leave my homeland because of safety concerns and threats from the very people that colonized and attempted to genocide my people from it, but if thats what it takes to survive, I'm already looking at flights.
No. 1183800
File: 1652723925405.jpeg (361.02 KB, 1024x576, 2045DED5-9019-4DC3-A004-9EB5D4…)
>>1183506I'm really proud of you for getting away from him and staying away. It's so fucked up of him to reach out to you again, and you're doing the right thing by ignoring/shutting him down.
My ex is currently stalking and threatening me and it's really messing with my mood. I just try to ignore it but sometimes I still feel afraid… Reading your post helped renew my strength. I'm going to stay focused on myself and do my best to move on.
No. 1183804
File: 1652724050233.png (84.45 KB, 568x548, 1651355466036.png)
I'm stuck. One of the kids I'm teaching found my profile in an online game (I accidentally flashed my nickname I use for all internet games/forums on the screen when I was showing my laptop's screen). And now he won't stop coming to me all the time to talk about his "problems" (his mom makes him clean his room twice a week omg!). It's constant, I told him firmly I can't cross this boundary and play with students, as that could get me in trouble… And guess what, that little shit went to his parents crying about it, his parents went to my supervisor, and my supervisor advised that I should spend more time "bonding" with my students to create a friendly environment. Playing a game outside my working hours is NOT a class-building experience, and really that student is not very young (he is 14). I wish I lived in normal country where those teacher-student boundaries are more enforced, this is ridiculous.
No. 1183805
File: 1652724055192.png (1.3 MB, 1280x1280, B684E28D-6333-405E-88C7-373ACC…)
>have no one to talk to
>has a stupid shitpost account where no one really gives a fuck if i die or not
>female family members too emotionally bankrupt to know i’m not in a good mood but i constantly have to hear about their problems
>forced to use lolcow.farm to say that i want to kill myself as if any strangers care
And I might actually do it, I don’t even care anymore. Women are always expected to internalize our depressive moods until we finally grab the pills and hope it fully kills us. Also inb4 “what a nice pic, where did you find it?” for venting about suicide, or probably not I get often ignored here kek. This thread can be so funny sometimes
No. 1183808
>>1183784oh wow, i’m
>>1183791 , i didn’t even see your post before writing mine. i’ve been feeling the same. i’ve been afraid of guns for so long but i’ve been genuinely considering arming myself for a while now, and most of my friend group (and even some family members) are looking into it too.. it feels like the only way to feel even a shred of safety now. i also don’t want to be in this country anymore. it’s exactly how they want us to feel so it’s sad, but i’m tired of things being this way
No. 1183831
>>1183796Thanks nonna! Now I just need the courage to do it but I feel like gum that has been chewed up and spat out.
>>1183805I feel you but don't do it, especially not over something like this. I wish I could give you any good advice but I have to apply it to myself first kek.
No. 1183832
>>1183805I mean this in a nice way.
Don't forget that you're gonna die anyway in the end, we all will inevitably end up dead. So don't worry making it faster, there's no point, there's no rush. Might as well stick around and see what happens in the meantime. Even if it's just extra time to shitpost or listen to music. Life will go by very fast anyway.
No. 1183860
I’ve been avoiding my sister because she has walked all over me, has violated my boundaries repeatedly, and is immensely ungrateful. I’m just done. I live with my younger sister and take care of her. I buy our groceries, pay our rent, pay utilities, bought all the furniture for our apartment, take care of OUR rabbit, give her rides, etc despite only being 2 years older than her. I have always taken care of her, our situation with our parents of complicated and I began taking care of her when I was 18. Now, I’m almost 21 and am balancing college and a full time job on top of her needs. To make matters worse, I am agnostic/atheist and she is hardcore catholic. I am fine and comfy with my beliefs- I am happy. But she is very judgey and is constantly trying to convert me to Catholicism. I honestly hate Catholicism due to some personal beef with it, but I never voiced it when she became catholic because I wanted to put her before my preferences and, hey, it’s not like she was harming anybody. I regret it so much. Constantly trying to convert me, talk about religion with me even when I say no, getting upset I do not follow catholic rules (mind you- in MY home), she’s got extremely upset when she asked me to not have sex with my boyfriend and I told her what I do in my romantic life is none of her business. Mind you- she asked me that out of the blue. We hadn’t even had sex by that point in our relationship and he had only come over twice for dinner. She’s ungrateful and constantly complaining about small parts of our lifestyle to me (ex, the food I buy when getting groceries, her not having enough money for a car, etc) despite all I do for her. She’s moving out in 2 weeks, we decided on it a while ago. But it’s been so hard waiting and every day is worse. She is constantly botching at me over the tiniest things and I feel like I’m waking on eggshells around her. I’m exhausted and try to not be home when she is for now. I just need a break, I’m 20 and I’m sick of taking care of people and getting bitched at and I just want to be able to have fun and act my age for once. Fuck my deadbeat parents.
No. 1183861
I hate being a stepmom. Not because of my stepdaughter or my husband, but because the daughters mother is an absolute hellbeast. I am not even coping or trying to wk a scrote by blaming it all on her, but she legitimately is a creature from the depths of hell unlike one I have ever met. Having to interact with her has made me lose interest in lolcows, as the reality of having to deal with one in real life is terrifying.
She lies, cheats, steals, has borderline meltdowns over whatever she feels like, her current boyfriend has domestic cases and she talks a lot of shit to her partners, is extremely abusive emotionally and has tried to physically force my husband to hit her. She is afraid of shit talking her boyfriend because he would actually beat her ass. So, whenever she feels bad about her own life she starts abusing my husband for weeks on end by sniping at him. She knows how to manipulate my husband so he won't go for sole custody by guilt tripping him over the tragedies of his life. My husband is a sweet guy whos biggest fault is trying to see the good in everyone and not thinking the worst of them. He has had almost all of his family die in tragic accidents and she likes to play on how he wants to take away their daughters family if he were to go for custody. This is just the tip of the iceberg of her insanity. My husband coped for years in their abusive marriage by becoming a workaholic. He divorced her when he found out she had multiple affairs and was pregnant by someone else. She tried to guilt trip him to stay by lying that she got raped; among other lunatic lies she forgot she told about the childs origin. She currently is dating the childs father and now is lying he is not the father, but a random Hollywood actor that saw her and fell in love with her immediately. She is convinced she looks like Marilyn Monroe. Her lies are always lolcow tier nonsense bullshit. She shows up and does mental illness on our porch on the regular, including screaming and crying. The only place she belongs to is a mental ward.
She takes advantage of my husbands kindness constantly. He is almost spineless when it comes to her because she knows what buttons to press to make him feel terrible if he questions her.
My stepdaughter was so behind in everything for her age when I got into her life. Stepdaughter was entering her teens, her mother had ensured she did not get sex education at school or by anyone else. She would force my husband to move states every year or so, so their daughter had zero friends and was reluctant to attempt to make any since she knew she would just move away. She was walking around in rags with holes from Walmart clearance rack that were a size or two too small and incredibly age inappropriate, in the sense of them being clothes meant for 7 year olds. Meanwhile her mum was spending thousands a month on random bullshit for herself. Stepdaughter had zero social skills, no basic hygiene, anger outbursts and one single friend that she was pushed to make by my husband. She had learned a lot of her mothers borderline traits, like intense gaslighting, cutting people off for perceived wrongs and splitting. I had to teach her among other things how to wash her hair, that she is allowed to say she is uncomfortable to people and remove herself from the situation, basics of bodily autonomy and that she should not cut people off for being "toxic" because she is perceiving nonexistent rejection. She had never had a professional haircut in her life before me and the hairdresser was scared she would not be able to fix her hair because of how terribly her mum had been "cutting" it. She is becoming more normal now with me and my husbands constant effort of teaching her about style, fashion, basic manners, hygiene and emotional regulation. She for the first time in her life had a birthday party that people showed up to, 7 friends that me and my husband ensure she sees and hangs out with as much as possible to ensure she can catch up socially. She is still slightly behind, but she has come from zero social skills and never having had a proper friend to having a healthy social group.
At times I doubt our relationship and think to myself that she will eventually make me leave him, as our relationships issues stem from her being a crazy fucking lunatic. My husband is in therapy due to the years of extreme abuse, but it is no over night fix. I feel like I am a fulltime life fixer and a therapist to the emotional terrorism hellbeast put my husband and stepdaughter through, both of them had and still have very warped views of what is normal and extremely low self-esteems from hellbeasts emotional reign of terror. I can not say straight up to my step daughter that her mum abuses her and is using her as a spitcup, and my husband whiteknights her with bs like "well she is step daughters mum, I cant just rip her away. Stepdaughter needs her mum!". I have been emotionally burnt out for close to a year.
I want out of this situation of having to deal with hellbeast, but I can not leave my stepdaughter in a situation where my spineless husband and the hellbeast raise her. She will be absolutely fucked for life if those two are left alone, as the hellbeast will abuse her emotionally and my spineless husband will be too cucked to step in. I can not do that to a child and doom their existence. I am tired of everyone but my husband realizing how crazy and abusive she is.
No. 1183867
>>1183784>it makes me want to arm myself and learn how to shoot just in case I ever need toI don't mean to make you more depressed anon, but I saw the massacre video the incel posted of himself getting out of his car and opening fire. He immediately shot a white woman walking nearby who had no time to react the minute he opened his door. If she were armed it wouldn't have saved her. My point being, that even if you are armed there's no guarantee you'll have enough time to properly ascertain the situation in order to respond to it on time.
Ime owning a firearm just introduces heightened statistics of injury and/or fatality. The chances of you using it in a way that will protect you and others lawfully are far lesser than the odds of the aforementioned statistic.
I used to be really interested in the news and politically active, but my overall happiness has increased since I've unplugged from the 24 hour news streams and have accepted that whatever happens today is gonna happen.
No. 1183885
>>1183861>He is almost spineless when it comes to her because she knows what buttons to press to make him feel terrible if he questions herI know you mentioned that you're not trying to blame everything on the ex and coping, but you absolutely are coping with this and are blaming the situation on her by framing her as the "hellbeast" as if the positive attribute of your husband being "too kind" is the downfall here.
No, your husband is being spineless and isn't protecting you nor his own children from someone obviously mentally ill.
If he isn't doing that for you and his own daughter then guess what, that means he prioritizes having the hellbeast in his life–regardless of his excuse–above the health of his own relationships.
Do what you gotta do with that information.
Also delete and repost to mention also that I'm confused as to the whole haircut and clothes neglect having any relevancy of proof that the daughter's delay is all the hellbeast's fault. Could your husband have not taken her for a haircut, or have bought her new clothes? Sis it doesn't add up, most parents would do right by their kids regardless of the negative reaction it would receive from the other.
No. 1183894
>>1183885I think my husband is at fault for being so spineless and cucked about her. I do not know how to word it as other than being fucked up. But I also don't want to go too much into details of how
abusive she was towards him as well.
>whole haircut and clothes neglect having any relevancy of proof that the daughter's delay is all the hellbeast's fault.My husband was walking in rags as well and she was cutting his hair as well, the reason was her convincing him they need to save money due to his student loans breaking the bank, him not earning enough money and that he should provide better for the family. She did not work as she was a "stay at home". At the same time she was funneling money in the thousands a month to get massages and go party. The abuse she puts their daughter through is the same she puts him through and since he thought that was normal, which I know is bizarre, he did not realise the fault at it. My husband was not allowed to have friends really because that took away from working. She was extremely controlling of him and would suicide bait and self harm in front of him to get her way. She attempted suicide multiple times in front of him as punishment for trying to leave the relationship before their eventual divorce.
No. 1183929
>>1183922Yeah that's disordered behavior.
Either don't have the cookies, or eat one or two in moderation then adjust the rest of your daily diet and exercise routine around the choice. Does anyone really need three sugar cookies? And if it's the ones I'm thinking about then they're pretty sizeable, vaguely sounds like a binge.
No. 1183932
File: 1652728284452.jpeg (40.13 KB, 600x600, images (2) (4).jpeg)
>>1183929Like these picrel fuckos? They taste so doughy I'm surprised anyone would want to eat three in a sitting haha. Each cookie is 150 cals.
No. 1183945
File: 1652728988281.jpg (68.21 KB, 1200x1200, 08d6b5e0-2be4-4af7-b521-3e614a…)
>>1183928>>1183929I ate two already and I'm going to save the other two for tomorrow (grabbed one more from the kitchen lmao). They're actually pic related but my coworker bought one of their big gift sets with a bunch of different types, I grabbed one cookie from each bag that I was interested in trying. They're relatively small cookies.
No. 1183975
>>1183922I don't even care if its anachan, I'm legitimately gonna recommend that anyone who struggles with severe binge eating like I did get on the chew/spit train. It's gross but it's the only thing that's EVER worked, and bc it's so gross I stop doing it way faster than I would if I were to swallow all the nasty shit I shove into my mouth.
I'm not proud of my lack of self control, but I'm also not fat as fuck anymore and it doesn't have a negative impact on my health like purging would so I'll take it lol
No. 1183982
File: 1652730238197.jpg (4.35 KB, 139x138, C-HS5_mXYAEkBSG.jpg)
I got screamed at at work all day today by clients, pretty much every single one that came was incredibly angry and rude or screaming at my face. I haven't been able to exercise because I'm exhausted and I gained back almost all the weight I lost in the past month just this week. I'm so fucking depressed I just want to give up and binge
No. 1183991
>>1183861Record her when she's being manipulative/verbally
abusive again and make him listen to it. He probably doesn't think of the situation critically in the moment
No. 1184006
File: 1652731774922.jpg (853.33 KB, 1234x703, shouldertohipratio.jpg)
>>1182362it's a stupid fucking lie made up by some scrote, all of these women have shoulders that are wider than their hips
No. 1184007
>>1184002Ty for your input, yeah im autistic too and I think they thought I was weird, but I felt so confused with how harsh it was.
I'm sorry your old coworkers treated you like that, that's horrible.
No. 1184044
File: 1652733333416.png (422.64 KB, 613x381, 1616768496221.png)
>tfw everyone at work telling me I look tired and it's the absolute truth but I still feel bad cause I feel unattractive and unapproachable when they say it
No. 1184045
>>1182362>>1184006Nonnas listen to this anon ffs, it's anatomically impossible to have hips wider than your shoulders, think of a skeleton with hipbones as large or even bigger the the shoulder bones and you'll realize how absurd it would look. holy shit I'm sad so many replies to this post and this is literally the first person who pointed this out.
The beauty and fashion industry are enemies of women as much as porn is, they are run by misogynistic scrotes who are literally scamming us with this bullshit. If you make up a bullshit beauty standard no human can attain naturally you just made every living woman into a potential client, it's a fucking psychological manipulation tactic to sell you their overpriced shitty clothes made by starving children in the third world. Just see how many replies the original post has and it's all women feeling shitty they aren't an anatomically impossible coomer fantasy. It's so sad the beauty standard is now literally some fucking fiction and the only way to obtain it is fucking plastic surgery. We live in a goddamn dystopic nightmare.
No. 1184085
>>1184044Nona I've been getting the same thing these past couple of months. Literally today an acquaintance said ''wait what's that blue thing under your eye?''. Told them I'm just tired and they were like ''oh never mind i saw wrong it just looked blue from a certain angle!!''
Feeling like a worn out crackhead. When people say I seem tired it doesn't feel caring or anything you're just telling someone they look bad.
No. 1184089
File: 1652735187478.png (712.26 KB, 520x571, 950843905830485.png)
My shoulder has been hurting for the past 2 weeks after tweaking something during exercise and sleeping on it wrong. I get no relief from leaving it alone and when I try to massage it things feel temporarily better but then the pain just moves to another area. It's always something these days. Just let me rip the whole thing off and get a cyborg replacement rather than dealing with this bullshit.
No. 1184108
File: 1652735818107.jpg (46.32 KB, 427x640, 3288195cd558894120906d60bf66db…)
have haphazardly cut my side fringe back in because having a centre parting with shaggy wolfcut bangs lowkey made me look like picrel. I wish I had a nice face so trendy haircuts would suit me.
No. 1184114
>>1184103NTA but I'd just tell them that yes, I'm tired of everything and feeling like shit every day because I'm depressed just to make them shut the fuck up. Or ask them what the point of asking that is until they realize how fucking rude and retarded they're being.
I don't think there's anything wrong with looking tired. Hiding your suffering and pretending that you're fine all the time is fucking exhausting and shouldn't be considered normal imo.
>>1184102There was a period tracker app that someone mentioned here on lolcow (I think?) that was free/no ads/no registration needed. I forgot the name though.
No. 1184212
>>1184184You’re still very young
nonnie. It may feel like you’ve regressed (and you might have) but you have the rest of your life ahead of you to build your skills back. Just start drawing a little bit every day, even if it’s not great at first. You can do it!
No. 1184217
>>1184133Thank you
nonnie. I think I was a little naive to continue this friendship. He's always made snide remarks whenever (years after his confession) I spoke highly about a guy i was dating, but can freely talk about the girls he's dating like it's nothing. Not a real friend at all.
No. 1184220
>>1184184I feel the same, only that I wouldn't say I'm worse than I was at 15, I just draw way less and never finish my drawings, overall putting less effort into them.
>>1184201>My husbandos don't have a lot of fanart and are mostly from the same fandom that I haven't seen posted much so I feel bad about taking up space other nonas have for their faves.Same. But I wouldn't mind seeing your posts more, even if you don't post pics. The GK husbandofags and fujos already post a lot about it and nobody says anything, so if you posted about your husbandos a bit more often, it wouldn't bother anyone. I think this past week the hornyposting thread has been pretty slow, I'm probably not the only one who wants to see more activity in it, so go ahead.
Hope your other situation improves soon.
No. 1184242
>>1182730I hope you will be okay nonita, please dont spend too long dwelling on things that will only dishearten you. it might help you (at least mentally?) to learn ways to protect yourself but also i think at this point it's time to move to safer areas… i think this will get worse before it gets better. hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and I will keep all the
woc of lolcow in my prayers
No. 1184258
File: 1652753798269.jpeg (79.32 KB, 365x465, 33BB5895-D645-4B72-85EF-BD1BE1…)
i’ve turned almost exactly into the woman in this shitty meme, and it’s killing me
No. 1184261
>>1184258me too
nonny i feel like im going insane i’m simply not going to let this situation not go my way.
No. 1184268
>>1184262nope, i’m aware that he’ll notice
>>1184265i’ve been trying to, but it feels impossible. i’ve even constructed a murder plan. i’m genuinely going insane, and nothing has helped soothe my madness. i might have to go to the psych ward at this point to stop myself
No. 1184335
File: 1652761216243.jpg (8.92 KB, 389x129, download (16).jpg)
i dont know why the hell im so damn tired all the time when i dont even do anything
No. 1184356
File: 1652763480486.png (249.55 KB, 400x300, FF3ADD3F-DE04-47D1-8597-ED6CC9…)
Sober anons how do you cope with being bored and not drinking alcohol to get rid of the feeling? Everything seems so much more fun and interesting when I’m drunk, it’s so hard to want to stay sober but I need to do it. I’m killing myself with every drink at this point and I have too much to lose.
No. 1184390
>>1184361“Drink inside the mind” and your capitalization is reversing how shitty my weekend was
(not alcohol related), I am going to laugh about this for way too long you are a strange and precious treasure thank you
No. 1184418
>>1182273I am really starting to dislike my bestfriend. She is so selfish and manipulative. When she talks about her relationship issues and I go into that she has things to work on too other than just him she gets so damn defensive. Just tonight we were on the phone & I brought up that she does actually blame him for a lot of things wrong in their relationship or that she does (she'll say well I did do this thing but its only because he makes me feel like xyz). She got all uppity and was like "uhm
nonnie when I've told you this kinda stuff in the past you've said hes projecting so i don't understand why you're saying all this now" & I did get a bit of an attitude telling her that I look back on things and sometimes its worth looking at different perspectives to which she called me an asshole. We get past that whatever then she talks about how she talks to this guy everyday (ex coworker that she gave a bj to in his car on their lunch break. But that's yeaaars ago). She said her boyfriend had said that guy probably has feelings towards her & she asked the guy and he apparently said "only sexual". She then goes on to admit that this friend asked for a hookup when after her bf broke up with her. I hadnt heard any of this and was like whoaa thats hella inappropriate bestfriend you shouldn't be talking to that guy. Turned into an argument between us because her boyfriend apparently doesnt care and it doesnt matter if its inappropriate if he's okay with it which I guess is true. But honestly I'm becoming hella sus of her, she's always had pickme tendencies but I thought she outgrew that. Between that & the male friend who gifted her (and her bf?) An ejaculating dildo after her & this guy talked on facetime about sex toys & neither knew how it worked. So apparently the guy bought one to see how it worked and then was going to give it to her & her boyfriend but bf freaked tf out on them both.
When I was telling her that kind of shit isn't okay & that I font think she should do that whether her bf says he doesn't mind or not (which from the arguments they have he does he just walks it back to appease her I think). She starts going off about how I'm making her question everything and making her feel like a piece of shit. That she's already been thru this but now she's feeling like shit and about to cry. Like girl I aint making you feel like anything, you feel bad bc u know its wrong and ignore that for male validation. Or maybe I'm the asshole lmao. Either way I think its time I move on from her and her perpetual drama
No. 1184575
File: 1652780681781.jpg (39.09 KB, 600x600, aaa.jpg)
I feel like I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. I just feel so insecure and like I'm not good enough. I started trying to socialize more and even go out on dates with other guys but I just can't get over this guy who led me on. I'm so pathetic and I try to avoid him but we work together and he always tries to talk to me.
I didn't think this type of situation would affect me so much, because I'm usually OK being single. But lately I'm lonely and feel like I'm doomed to settle for the worst. Deep down I know it's a personal issue and I'm just a deeply insecure pos.
No. 1184579
File: 1652780981482.png (1020.31 KB, 1080x692, wfefgeeg.png)
please fuck off fuck off please fuck off please stop STOP PLEASE FUCK OFF I WONT DO ANY MORE OF THAT SHIT PLEASE FUCK OOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
No. 1184596
File: 1652781475074.jpg (72.56 KB, 1080x735, 1629362643188.jpg)
I live in a high rise that is consistently under construction, I just got home from the grocery store with my husband, I am 7 months pregnant and we were waiting for the elevator. The elevator comes and it's full of moving boxes because someone is moving out, a guy begins to unload the boxes as we stand around to wait until we can use the elevator. I would walk up if I wasn't pregnant, but I can't climb that many stairs anymore.
A construction worker comes running down the stairs, sees the guy unloading the elevator and stars screaming at >ME< for blocking the elevator and how they are doing construction on the 11th floor and I need to stop blocking the elevator. I am just flabbergasted and stutter something about "that's not my stuff" but he just keeps yelling at me and then walks away. In the moment I was so shocked by this dude yelling at me that I couldn't even explain that it's not MY FUCKING FAULT AS I JUST GOT HERE! My husband doesn't speak the local language so he had no clue what's going on. Now I wish I would have yelled at him back and asked him why he is screaming at the pregnant lady instead of the fully grown man who is actually blocking the elevator which he can see with his own eyes. I was so stunned by this random outburst of anger that it took me some time to even process what is happening.
I'm so pissed. This dude sees two men and a pregnant woman and directs his anger at the pregnant woman instead of the other men. What an utter fucking coward. He was a manlet too, which just shows you once again that manlets are hated for a fucking reason.
No. 1184599
File: 1652781751592.jpg (Spoiler Image,7.2 KB, 416x620, Web_Photo_Editor.jpg)
>All the real anas are too tired and dizzy to spend so much time typing, hurts their knuckles
not true kek
No. 1184603
File: 1652781848542.jpg (86.69 KB, 500x500, 1152300-lg.jpg)
Bought some tasty looking and kinda expensive ginger cookies from a local bakery, just to find out that I don't like ginger cookies. I mean I know I don't like ginger but I thought I'd still try because I hate carrots but I really like carrot cake, so I figured I might like it in baked goods (I love gingerbread though). What should I do with them now aaaaaaahhhh. Can't give any to family either because they live in another state.
No. 1184629
>>1184619>>1184623Found the post, seems I was mistaken and an anon was just comparing the hand to other tranny hands
I thought she found images of the tranny
They're still pretty sus hands
No. 1184631
how is it possible that I've been under the supervision of various therapists and psychiatrists and pumped with various drugs that were supposed to help me since I was 11, and I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and no one was able to help me because they weren't able to actually tell what's wrong with me besides that, and I was only diagnosed with autism spectrum when I was well into my 20s and probably only because I suggested that I might be autistic bc both me and some people who know me noticed certain symptoms? is my country such a shithole or I was just unlucky to met shitty specialists throughout my whole life? how could I slip through the whole education and medical system without anyone noticing and giving me proper help, suffering bullying at school and neglect at home? I know that my coworkers can't know my full history, but they know some key parts of it, and I hate them for telling me that I don't want to help myself because I don't want therapy and I don't believe in it anymore. I feel abused by the medical system and they can't understand that. "Oh I know what you've been through, I had depression when I was 30-something, although I didn't take any drugs, I was in therapy for like 2 years, it was hard". no you don't know shit. you haven't been in this since you were 11, when your brain was still developing, pumped with various drugs to test what would work on you and suffering from side effects. I know it's too late for me anyway, I will never be able to form frienships and relationships or hold a normal conversation that isn't revolving around my interests and hobbies and I will always suffer from sensory overloads and shutdowns. at least I'm able to work and earn money for myself, but that's not thanks to therapy. I haven't been in therapy in like 3 years when I finally stopped being a neet, and it was only my effort and my willpower, no one helped me. being able to work, being able to eat and take a shower every day is already a great achievement for me. I don't owe therapy shit. it was very hard, but it's still easier than forming relationships. it's possible to work without talking to anyone, most of the time. forming relationships without communication is not possible. I can accept that I will always be alone, I just wish people stopped telling me this bullshit about me not wanting to help myself. if they've been through what I've been through, they wouldn't want to see another therapist or psychiatrist ever again
No. 1184633
>>1184625I think the thing that makes it sus to me was the way she actively spoke and then blamed it on her religion
>>1184629link?
No. 1184648
File: 1652783481264.jpg (111.66 KB, 1600x1156, calming-movement-female-s-thin…)
>>1184636She also didn't want to post a hand against a ruler. Even skelly female hands don't really look like that
No. 1184654
File: 1652783683348.jpg (7.36 KB, 236x419, 2250977672ff96a6aad50c609d4ac0…)
Fucking hate it when mothers bodyshame their own daughters. My mom told me that she bought me a bikini that she thought I might like and I was like "uuuuh thanks I guess but how do you know if it's gonna fit?". And then she said "Well I know because you barely have any boobs HAhahahAhaHAHah".. wow thanks. Yeah sure, because you know, you can just grow boobs as big as you wish. But oh I can't call her fat because that's mean! Fuck her for that, honestly.
No. 1184660
>>1184656And then
she said it's usual for her to use speculum with
her boyfriend, which miraculously switch between fiance and bf as the larp went on.
No. 1184663
File: 1652783859792.png (680.11 KB, 928x716, hands.png)
>>1184655>>1184648When comparing their hand to a hand from a thin woman… it looks really suspicious
No. 1184687
File: 1652784424954.png (737.38 KB, 1192x576, hands.png)
>>1184663>>1184665>>1184670here's a comparison to a male hand vs a female one
No. 1184701
>>1184696Seconding kek
>>1184699who is the guy or how do you know that
No. 1184705
File: 1652784725292.gif (60.61 KB, 350x220, 1562026tek9wpqejs.gif)
nonnies are you all ok
No. 1184757
>>1184739Also the
>I'm anorexic so my husband loves me and stays with meWhat a cope, I'm sure he cheats too kek
No. 1184790
>>1184786Businesses have more rights than actual people, not to mention more rights than living animals. It's absolutely infuriating.
But money is power, and might makes right.
No. 1184810
File: 1652787646004.webm (7.77 MB, 1080x1080, I AM A WOMAN.webm)
>>1184789"She" also had a weird thing for repeating that "she" is a bilogical female etc
No. 1184811
File: 1652787749612.webm (12 MB, 1080x1080, 1651874772998.webm)
>>1184810bringing this one back too
No. 1184841
>>1184789well i mean, i think ''her'' story is bull but there are many reasons a gay man would stay with a woman. doesn't want family to find out/is deeply ashamed of it publicly, is
abusive, just wants to torture a woman, is in denial, etc. just look at the amount of covert trannies in marriages from reddit. males can lie and deceit for years
No. 1184857
File: 1652789242876.jpeg (74.55 KB, 1024x962, a38.jpeg)
My beloved bird is sick, I'm so scared for him. I'm quite sure it's "just" some sort of crop infection, which can be cured, but the vet wants to examine him for possible tumours. I have appointment in exactly week from now, this will be a long wait. I fear this will be our last week together, but I hope with all my heart he will be okay, I love him so so much, and so does his bird friend. He's in quite good condition, he eats and drinks well, and does all his normal stuff, so I remain hopeful
No. 1184865
>>1184857That's so scary
nonnie, I hope your bird will be okay! If he's acting normal he must not be in too much pain, so that's a good thing
No. 1185064
>>1185051Peppermint oil on the scalp and temples.
>>1184963You can also take sugar and borax and mix it and they will eat the combo. The Soap will kill them. Can help prevent ants too. It’s why they used to put little piles under kitchen sinks.
No. 1185163
>>1184071>he was pushing for marriage that I wasn't on board withIsn't it crazy how scrotes drive possession over us so much until one day they decide they don't want us anymore?
I see it in my current scrote and I don't like it. He told me we could take our time with our engagement to pay off our debts and save up for a nice honeymoon wedding or something. Now he wants to have a quickie courthouse wedding because I found out he's infertile on top of being an asshole to me when he thought things were good. So now he's insecure that I'm thinking of leaving which I absolutely am and wants to tie me down. I'm only keeping this alive out of financial convenience for the meantime.
He's not rushing to marriage because he suddenly loves me more, it's because he knows marriage makes it harder to cut ties and leave–at least it does for women.
It's really scary.
What else scares me about men is how now that I'm in a position to be a choosy bitch, men actually are attracted to me more for the fact that I'm colder and more distant to protect my interests and be selfish. They see value in me because they know I don't really need them and that I am desired by other men.
Whereas when I was vulnerable before and ready to put my entire heart in a relationship, I was treated like trash. Used and abused then thrown away like I was meaningless. They don't respect pickmes. And it wasn't because I was uneducated, less interesting, or less pretty at the time. It's solely because those scrotes knew they HAD me and they got bored or thought that there was something wrong with me. I got ghosted on so many things, but the truth is they're cowards.
No. 1185182
File: 1652801776583.png (202.72 KB, 464x464, 8f54806904ce51794a2bc77027e1bc…)
I feel so tired today, it's only 4.30pm and I am ready for bed and I haven't even done anything. Couldn't even work because I was so tired, yet I have had a full nights sleep minus getting up to feed the cat breakfast. Idk what's wrong with me, I feel a bit poorly and fatigued but I can't even afford to be like that.
I guess I will have to wake up early tomorrow and finish my work. I wonder if it's to do with the heat too…summer seems to drain my energy so much.
My hair is also so greasy but I simply can't muster the energy to stand in the shower, yes that's gross but it be like that sometimes. I wish I could sink into a huge fleece beanbag and just sleep in a nice cold quiet room with a weighted blanket over me and the beanbag while listening to ASMR. Instead I have to sleep in a stuffy room and remind myself not to sleep on my stomach anymore because it's fucking up my posture. Why can I never just be cosy and wake up full of energy…
No. 1185196
>>1185192If he does it again I'm going to. He should know better picking fights at his age.
>>1185193they'll disown me if I do that
they're gone and out of the house now so it's at least safe over here i'm gonna go for a walk though thanks for letting me vent nonnas
No. 1185320
File: 1652807513187.jpg (142.45 KB, 735x898, a5d20c94e881cf4e8431d2a5fda079…)
>>1184184I wana go back go my vent and say that today I will not allow this low confidence get to me. I can become better. Ive done it before and I can do it again!
No. 1185356
>>1185302I know how you feel, anon. I'm an ex junkie and drunk. The only way I maintain this is by not contacting my friends who still use or binge drink. It sucks, but it beats the alternative. Godspeed,
nonny.
And you're a legend for the Godfather III reference. I've used that line myself a fair few times, kek. No. 1185417
File: 1652810946365.png (78.63 KB, 391x400, nonnylove.png)
>>1185208I have a friend but he lives in another continent so there's not much to do there. Otherwise no I don't really have anyone offline.
>>1185264The dumbest thing that I can't believe he chimped out over it: He wanted me to throw away a dining chair in my house and tried to attack me when I didn't agree and brought it back inside. He pushed on my throat a bit but couldn't really get a good hit in because the chair was in the way. I live on my own so getting out there isn't an issue, I'm just amazed that he's going to throw our entire relationship away over a glorified power struggle because he's always been authoritarian but using force like that again is unacceptable. I thought the time he tried to restrain my wheelchair was the only time he'd ever put hands on me, but apparently not.
Nonnas I'm heartbroken and dumb. I actually thought there was an exception to male depravity and violence and that was incorrect, they don't age out of it either apparently. Seriously, thanks for letting me talk about this and being there across the internet tubes, you all are wonderful and deserve the best in life.
No. 1185437
the people ive been hanging out with for a couple of months just made friends with some guy. i havent liked him since day 1, and try to avoid events where i know for sure he will be present, but there is no completely avoiding him. he makes nasty comments about other peoples ethnicities, for example he tells me at least once every time i see him that people from my country (eastern europe) are inherently stupid, lazy, and uneducated, but says it in a joking tone so when i tell him off then everyone starts making fun of me for not being able to take a joke. he does it to everyone else as well, so people just writes it off as him being edgy and sarcastic. he didnt say anything wildly offensive either, that is until today.
today i was hanging out with two of my friend at a cafe and he happened to turn up as well. there were black people sitting at the table beside us, which just completely triggered his racism. he whipped out his phone and went to the google images page of orangutans, then he shoved the phone in my face and asked me if i saw the resemblance while wildly pointing and gesturing towards them. he started laughing and then got visiby upset when i just looked at him speechless instead of laughing along with him. then he told me that maybe i dont get the joke because i am also a "less evolved" person because my forehead makes me look like a monkey, and that clearly im the one with the problem because my other two friends were laughing and he will explain the "joke" to me later after we've left the cafe. how the fuck am i supposed to react to this? i think im just going to cut my losses and get rid of these "friends". i just feel bad for the people he was harrassing in the cafe, even if they didnt seem like they noticed theres no way they didnt hear some of his comments considering how close the tables were. this guy is fucking horrible outside of this incident too. i dont get why people are kissing his ass so much.
No. 1185455
>>1185437Drop him and drop them with him. There is no reason why adults, or anyone, have to bring up shitty edgy, crude humor. No one has to be nice, but being unnecessarily rude, especially out in public is so uncalled for and shit you do not need in your life. If your friends put up with it, whether they agree with it or not, they are not worth hanging around either because it's not worth tiptoeing around to avoid him. I bet you that there's someone who just doesn't want to say anything because they fear him chimping out on him, take the first step and leave them behind. Either you'll have a good friend or two stick by you and join you, or you'll have rid yourself of people who won't add anything to your life long term. There are better people and friends out there nona, don't put up with this shit.
No. 1185532
>>1184631don't give up hope anon. i know it is so overused but know that you are not alone, seriously. the healthcare system in burgerland is beyond fucked, let alone the mental health system, that so many people share your experience and don't live to tell it, or hide it from shame or only unpack it in specialized therapy if they make it that far. your experience is felt by thousands of other people who have also been failed time and time again by our mental health system, especially so for those born female who due to socialization don't even get noticed for diagnosis pre-adulthood anyways.
re: autism spectrum diagnosis in your 20s, from what I know from living and being in close connection w/ my partner who is a therapist, most mental health professionals are advised to not diagnose someone with something like a personality disorder or an autism spectrum disorder until they're at least in their 20s, even better if it is late 20s, because developmentally it is less likely to be one of those disorders before the age of 20.
sorry for the oncoming blogpost. it's the same reason why despite knowing i'm bipolar 2 since age 11 when I found out I had a biological predisposition for it and would most likely develop it that no matter how much proof I had, I couldn't get a diagnosis until my 20s. I could only get an anxiety, depression, and c-ptsd diagnosis because most professionals worth their salt aren't going to document a serious diagnosis for that for someone early in their 20s. don't feel bad or like you're just now catching up because you just found out, it's normal.
as for the discouragement from therapy, hardcore relate. i've been in and out of therapy as young as I can remember and never even had an explanation as to why I was forced into it (but have come to realize as an adult it was due to growing up surrounded by addiction, neglect, and abuse). i've seen dozens of therapists since as young as I can remember being in kindergarten, and stopped when I finally had a choice over the matter in middle school because my nihilism for the state of the mental health system in the US even at the age of 13 showed me that most counselors/therapists I was seeing either didn't actually give a shit or know how to do their job, or I just didn't trust them enough or that they'd be around long enough to open up to them.
I stopped therapy for years until I got involuntarily hospitalized in highschool after confiding in the 2nd therapist I had tried since returning to therapy to try again since I had quit in middle school, and from there my distrust for mental health professionals grew even further.if they were going to institutionalize me when i didn't even feel suicidal and make me spiral even further into despair, how could I trust id get the care I needed?
stopped therapy again for another two years before getting matched with a "lifestyle coach" or whatever through a program I was in. she was a licensed therapist and resparked my hope in therapy. I finally started to understand as I had finally found someone I could connect with and trust.
eventually had to leave her after the program ended, proceeded to get ghosted by my therapist after that which started a whole new shame spiral, and now here I am only seeking specialized care either from psychiatrists who manage my meds or from more specialized professionals who focus on my specific need of therapy (talk therapy combined with emdr, somatic experiencing, and mind/body reintegration). just know that standard talk therapy isnt all there is, there are so many more types of care out there for you to try, and that if you really do want to help yourself, you can't give up hope. you're doing this not just for you and for your benefit but for the benefit of those you love, those who love you, and the world at large as a collective. you can do it. i believe in you!!
No. 1185585
File: 1652815698972.png (586.72 KB, 719x713, 1650813775784.png)
>don't use 4chan all that much
>decide to browse /mu/
>it's boring af, but decide to head to /fit/ (stupid idea but whatever)
>gym webm thread
>one of the webms is literally a woman dying in a gym after not properly handling one of the machines
>all the moids after angry at her
>report is as nsfw
I'm not to 4chan ever again
No. 1185631
File: 1652817015248.jpeg (69.96 KB, 602x602, AE71C93C-77EA-43AC-9085-A38ED9…)
I fucking hate my phenotype or whatever. I literally look like a female Ed Sheeran and that’s not an exaggeration, I’ve had multiple people agree when I’ve brought up that I look like him. It’s fucking repulsive. The fair hair, the weird, spaced out blue bug eyes, the round face, the stupid thin lips. I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror. It completely ruins my mood and usually I end up crying and refusing to go out. I’ve avoided photographs since I was very little and I have no pics of myself in my 20s. I see clothes I like and it doesn’t matter if it fits my body because my face fucking ruins everything. At the very least I’m not a redhead like Eddie over here.
No. 1185646
File: 1652817663684.jpg (885.25 KB, 1024x1024, 1650459738964.jpg)
I need my friends more than they need me. I always feel like the 'extra' wheel to my friendships and that I'm not really close to them, even if it's already been almost a year since we've known each other
No. 1185655
File: 1652818190879.png (994.83 KB, 735x724, 1636306759281.png)
I've either been on here for too long, or no man is to ever be trusted, because I've read so many stories about the husband just waking up one day and deciding to troon out/cheat on other women/just not loving his wife anymore. Or he hides something major, like porn usage at the mildest and CP at the most vile. I wouldn't say I'm paranoid (when it comes to males in any capacity, you can never be careful enough) but I am definitely scared. Sometimes it seems like you have to really wait around and waste years of your fucking life to see what a moid's bad sides are, what the major thing that's wrong with him is. Because they never reveal that to you even years into a relationship, only when they think they've really got you in their chokehold. It feels like you have to ALWAYS be on your toes even with the person you're supposed to trust your life with.
I'm not normally scared about these things, I feel like I'm a stable person. But I've gotten my first bf 6 months ago, and while I'm aware that we're still well in the honeymoon phase, he seems to be a great person with enough empathy to not be a menace to humanity, he's respectful - he's My Nigel. But I am fucking terrified of the mask just slipping, and I'll just find something bad. I know the later stages of a relationship's emotions are more or less dulled, that's completely normal. What isn't is that lc has me convinced (or is otherwise telling me the cold, hard, bitter truth) that there are absolutely no normal men in this world. They have to be psycho, violent, constantly sexually unsatisfiable to a ridiculous degree, or one day the barrel of the revolver will just shoot a bullet and he's suddenly decided he "wasted" all those years with you.
Every time he tells me these sincerely sweet and adorable things, I think about how badly it will hurt once I find out The Thing. Or several, who knows! Definitely not me!
No. 1185674
>>1185216yes, like weekly
and i do the maladaptive coping thing where i avoid doctors
No. 1185721
File: 1652820298826.jpg (14.88 KB, 563x320, 1a7cadc78e33412d25ebef66c98349…)
I hate how I've become more unstable emotionally across the years. It used to be really difficult to make me cry, but now I cry and get frustrated over such minor, stupid bullshit. Not only that, I also get insanely demotivated. I was having a great day and wanted to workout, but then I had a minor and stupid disagreement with someone and now I cried and want to be inside my room all day. Why am I like that, now. What kind of mental illness is this?
I know my weight gain due to the lockdown and the covid anxiety in general made me generally (and a lot of people) worse, but fuck. I wanna go back, I just don't know how. I always feel like un undeserving peace of shit when that happens.
No. 1185757
>>1184916>I wish I could ask my mom for helpnona, if you have a good relationship with your mom why not fess up and be honest? she's your mom. she's probably lost a job or two before, right? hoping things work out for you.
also note that there's no shame in moving back in with your parents until you save more money (if you get along with them i mean)
No. 1185763
>>1185356thank you.
i feel so stupid about my problem, like being a junkie is such a first world problem while my grandparent were refugees they had to live through actual war they had to live through prison camps actual problems my parents lived through that trauma and here i am wasting my life on drugs while my ancestors wasted their lives for other people's lives
No. 1185771
>>1185655I’ve felt this way before but I try and keep in mind the demographics of this site are very skewed towards a certain type of woman. A lot of us (myself included) have had male abusers and general unpleasant experiences with men that are amplified by said abuse. Other people may be able to get past certain interactions quickly or don’t think too much of them in the first places but nonnas are understandably more sensitive to these things as it feels never ending sometimes. Sometimes a bad reaction is warranted and sometimes it’s not, but it can be hard to distinguish between the two if you’re accustomed or anticipating being treated a certain way.
I’m not trying to ‘not all men!!!1!’ because there are definitely awful ones out there that deserve to get their shit handed to them, but assuming everyone has the worst intentions at all times can be a really scary and isolating way to live. It’ll be okay nonna.
No. 1185790
>>1185655I think the best way to approach it is to enjoy the moments you're given. Live in the present because it's all we have. You're only 6 months in, you may have a healthy relationship but then break up for totally benign reasons like moving to different areas or you decide some minor personality trait he has isn't working for you. He may get in a freak car accident a month from now. Not saying this to scare you, just that things happen and it's not always as dramatic as a terrible dark secret or the guy becoming
abusive. Sometimes you just grow apart. But the one thing that's for certain is if you're constantly worrying about what might happen, you won't be able to fully appreciate what you have right now. If something does eventually come up then it will be painful, but that doesn't change the fact that you'll have had good times before. I think it's good to hear cautionary stories and know the warning signs of abusers so you can protect yourself. It's always smart to have your own finances for example even if you're married. But you only have to walk if something bad actually occurs. No reason to stress yourself before then.
No. 1185896
File: 1652828107735.png (403.95 KB, 860x774, EFFBE052-4301-43AB-A65D-731B78…)
I wish I was lucky enough to be an internet artist and get paid lots of money for my shitty ego pieces. Anons I’m so tired of dealing with reality it’s so harsh towards dreamers and observers
No. 1185985
>>1185428Hey noni, really sorry that happened to you, it's disgusting and I hope it doesn't put you off nursing.
I get that you don't want to bother these men's wives with it but you could talk to your supervisor/manager or whoever because that shit is inappropriate and definitely not "just part of the job".
No. 1186111
File: 1652846208895.jpg (11.1 KB, 182x268, Cam_Girls-587124534-mmed.jpg)
>dad offers to copy some Japanese video lessons he found at work from his USB stick to my computer
>wow that's so nice of him
>we can't find it
>he tells me to look in the "videos" folder
>suddenly a feeling of dread because I've accidentally found something porny/suspicious in his flash drives before
>immediately see a video with the title "Cam Girls (2021)", and even though it's clearly a "normal" movie among other movies, I'm still disappointed as fuck
>another day that I'm reminded of the fact that my dad is just a scrote
No. 1186127
File: 1652847345003.jpeg (50.24 KB, 355x500, DF329DB2-1C61-4125-A218-800D7B…)
I replaced my IUD today a year earlier than I needed because I’m stressed about the political landscape and the future of birth control.
Cervix hurty owowowow
No. 1186129
>>1186098I went through the same thing a few months ago when my aunt's cat had to be put down after looking like he was on the verge of death due to his diabetes. It was so fucking painful and stressful to see him like a skeleton that shouldn't even be able to move, that I avoided visiting my aunt and talking about the cat for a while. My cats had died recently too so that only made me not want to deal with another pet death. But in the end, it was for the best to put him to sleep, because he was obviously suffering a lot and had no chances of recovering. I know how painful it is to think about it, but you know it's better to accept it now, and to prevent the dog from pointlessly suffering more.
Also, he loved you all, and he's defintiely grateful for all the time your sister and you loved him and took care of him. He probably knows that it's time to go, too.
No. 1186134
>>1186127I feel your pain
nonnie. When I got mine put in I ended up passing out from the pain. Then had horrible stabbing pain in my vagina and abdomen for almost 6 months. Fun times. It was even worse when they took it out. Thank God they let me yeet my fallopian tubes after badgering them for 3 years.
No. 1186151
File: 1652850273541.png (87.9 KB, 800x798, ugh.png)
why is adult female life so exhausting and soul crushing? how do i do everything in moderation? i am tired of having to start over. i do not have the energy to socialize and mask and network and tailor new cvs for any job and work more shifts at my physically demanding wagie job and go exercise and make friends and memories and then make food and clean up and spend time with boyfriend and family, and don't forget the holidays, and save up, but then get sick, but then shit breaks, save up again, and if i am exhausted i shouldn't buy a pre made meal, thats expensive, and i need to get new and more certifications, and shave my whole body regularly, and keep fit and not succumb to any cope in the form of a stimulant or depressant because that leads to addiction and decreased health which i also need to keep checking up on every year so in the end i can pick between a walking cane or a wheelchair, and i am fucking dead
No. 1186169
>>1186151>>1186162we must always pick between a misery i fucking hate it
>buy period products to not let blood ruin our clothing>constantly change period products to not stain or smell in public>feel like shit for a week per month>have blood leak out of you while you go about your business>every emotion you felt at unfairness amplifies>scrotes say it's unreasonable and too emotional>tits, uterus, back, vagina and sometimes asshole hurts>decide to take birth control to thwart the pain>take it also to avoid pregnancy from sex or rapegives you a whole new set of pains
>gain weight, no sex drive, depression, pimples, acneif scrotes got periods and pregnancies, there would be paid holidays and prizes given out for enduring these pains.
No. 1186181
>>1182607I finally got it yesterday. First of all, fuck my vagina for giving me PMS days before the period. She wasn't doing that before so why now? Anyway, bless the dentist who prescribed me some nice pain medicine a couple months ago. Just remembered that I still have them.
It's funny because my cramps would probably be a walk in the park to most women but my periods are usually pretty easy so I can't take this.
No. 1186224
>>1186203Trust me girl I already got that shit ss! My aunt hasn't been involved for years & they've been living with me for the past few months after he got really sick. I could just block him on their accounts? I've got both phones for the night (they're high schoolers & will watch tiktok til like 4am if I let them keep phones). I just dont know if they look at their block lists if it'll show his contact name (like Dad) and the username. Bc if so I think telling him would be best? If neither of the girls had snapchat I would just laugh and wait to see if it blows up in his face lol
I honestly am taken aback by his degeneracy, he got out of the hospital less than a month ago & still can't walk on his own but makes a fucking snapchat for cooming. Disgusting.
No. 1186232
File: 1652861358530.png (8.28 KB, 517x148, 45678765432.png)
This post seemed ok until I read the tags. Grooming. Just pure grooming.
No. 1186255
File: 1652864198919.jpeg (31.98 KB, 669x459, E6DE77F0-E998-4EE0-8FA0-182FF9…)
I just moved into a new apartment and finally met my last roommate today, she’s a girl my age (just within a year of each other) and we had a really nice and interesting conversation. But when it got to asking each other’s ages and I told her mine (22), she sat there surprised and said “omg! I would have guessed you’re older haha, you just seem so… mature.” When I was 18-19 I would have taken that as a compliment that I’m ~wise beyond my years~ or some shit, but hearing it from a cool girl my age stings, like I come off old or frumpy. I just fucking wish I was normal and that people perceived me as normal and I was exactly what you expected a 22yo woman to be. I’ve spent all of high school and college trying to be professional and mature so that people would take me seriously by now, but I’m still as much of a wreck as any other 22 year old but I’m also completely alienated from people my own age. I can’t keep doing this nonnies. What’s the point of striving to be grown up if once you get there and everyone else catches up with you they still think you’re weird and seem old? I don’t want to wait until I’m 40 to be normal
No. 1186262
>>1186241>>1186233Well autistics are kind of speds aren't they?
Grooming as in implanting the thought to autistic girl's heads that they are not "cis" aka women. Autistic girls are more prone to fall for the tranny bullshit so this kind of language just fuels a dangerous fire.
No. 1186369
>>1186354you're anonymous
free yourself from the shackles of embarrassment
No. 1186383
File: 1652873955509.jpg (29.79 KB, 712x671, 1598555531079.jpg)
>>1186375My mom did the same, and told me how she was raped as a teen. I also heard my dad rape her weekly lol hahaaahhh
No. 1186415
>>1186400look up the term emotional incest, that's also super messed up. my grandmother was abused as a teen, and was in an
abusive marriage. had children while she was barely a teen. she was also mental, with something severe. i think bipolar disorder. still, to be so stupid to think this is fine to treat a child like that, is insane. i didn't want kids for a long time
nonnie and i am still unsure about it, but i will take a lifetime to heal from all this bullshit.
we have more resources to learn from and try to help ourselves than they had. i would never ever want to even unknowingly cause such harm to children. it is so insidious. a disgusting scrote rapes a woman and then she is so traumatized and desensitized that they don't think twice about educating a child on this, ending up doing the same damage. i can't imagine how much you must have suffered knowing what was happening to her, and having that in your mind you might be next. i had nightmares for years that lead me to believe i was constantly raped.
No. 1186431
>>1186375My mom told me all about my grandpa being an sober alcoholic when I was like 5 years old. And about my dad not wanting me to be born, what sex was, showed me her vagina etc.
My exes mom would cry about her failed polyamorous relationships with 10-15 year old younger guys, her whoring herself out to old men, how she was suicidal, how she hated men, how her brother was a rapist
abusive drug abuser who raped teen girl(but still let him watch her children unsupervised) to my ex and his sister from the age of like 10 or younger.
Why don't these women get a fucking journal? What the fuck why expose children to shit like that.
No. 1186472
>>1186464This isn’t the first time sadly. A lot of the time I did let it slide because I do understand that sometimes people get distracted but this is happening a lot lately.
>>1186469I’ve been planning to for awhile. He is one of those hard to break up with types so I’ve been trying to figure out what I’ll do. I’ll probably ask the relationship advice thread how to handle that soon
No. 1186482
>>1186431>Why don't these women get a fucking journal?exactly, or go to a bar and trauma dump on other fucked up adults
everything adults say and do becomes an example to children and they have wild imaginations, making things 10x worse. a child of that age, fuck, even younger than 12 can barely comprehend awful shit like that. seriously, it's not going to help the child grow up stronger or avoid groomers and rapists or to be a self loving feminist when they expose them to inappropriate things so early on.
No. 1186484
>>1186475How hard is it to
>see rule break>give appropriate ban time with reasonThey’re busy thinking of witty red texts about posts they don’t like instead of doing their fucking jobs. Just quit this free volunteering if you’re not going to do it properly
No. 1186486
>>1186472ignoring you =\= being distracted anon. He full knows he's ignoring you, otherwise he'd snap his attention back and focus on you again.
>He is one of those hard to break up withExplain?
No. 1186493
File: 1652882524710.jpeg (285.2 KB, 1899x1912, FS-Wi4YVUAAc1Th.jpeg)
I fainted today while assisting surgery… I made a fool of myself. Idk why I fainted, low pressure, stress and no morning coffee? Still sucks, they made me lie down, put feet up, drink and eat candy and everything, god, such a scene. It wasn't that serious anyway, I was okay in 5 minutes. And in front of the head of the clinic no less. Kill me.
No. 1186563
>>1185857>>1185863Yeah, I dumped him the next day. I'm not fucking around with that shit.
>>1185869Less than a month. At least he showed his demons early. It was the embodiment of "love bombing", where he was a hyper affectionate Prince Charming type without a single red flag until he assaulted me.
No. 1186567
My boyfriend of 4ish years is breaking up with me because we haven’t been having as much fun together/I’ve been too needy over the past year. Even though I’m upset at him for not trying harder with me to figure out how to make things work, it’s so excruciatingly painful because I feel like it’s going to be really hard for me to ever find someone who can get through hard times with me and I’m so worried that I’ll never figure out my issues enough to not be the needier one in my relationship. I’m upset that I moved in with him because of the pandemic when I wasn’t ready, but I don’t know what else I should have done.
I quit my job and it took me 6 months to find something I was happy with because my previous job hadn’t given me the experience I needed to do well on interviews. The pandemic was a really tough time for me. My friends moved away, my mom got addicted to gambling, and though I’d already distanced myself from my parents because they were a toxic influence, I found myself w no emotional support system other than my boyfriend. I started getting really bitter and negative about the way the world was too. I felt really depressed and hopeless that I was ever going to get a normal social life back, felt unsure about how to fix my career, and felt uncertain in my relationship because I felt like I needed my partner way more than he needed me and I could tell it was making him extremely unhappy. I was also on accutane for 6 months and it was such a roller coaster of emotions because of the physical pain I felt while I was on it. Anyway, he’s breaking up with me now and I feel so lost especially because I thought things were finally going to start feeling normal again. There’s just so much resentment from him and I feel like it’s unfair because he’s so settled in his career, has really close friends nearby, and he has an ultra close and supportive family. I obviously understand his perspective and I see how maybe it’s the right move for both of us but I also am so extremely heartbroken and I’m feeling so hopeless about ever being able to be sad around someone again.
I went into the pandemic 24 and I’m coming out of it at 27 and although I’m happy with my new job it’s still not exactly where I want to be long term and I want to focus on getting to a position where it will be. We got a 2nd cat together and I regret it so much. I’m going to be single with 2 cats, trying to rebuild my friendships and trying to pivot my career. He’s being really helpful and has been offering to pay for my first month rent/take the cats 6 months of the year, etc. I don’t know what the point of this post is, I just feel so awful and unable to deal with my emotions and it’s affecting my ability to work at my new job.
No. 1186623
>>1186567>tough time for me. My friends moved away, my mom got addicted to gambling, and though I’d already distanced myself from my parents because they were a toxic influence, I found myself w no emotional support system other than my boyfriend. I started getting really bitter and negative about the way the world was too. I felt really depressedI was in a similar position a few years ago when my first major break up happened. I went through the loss of a parent, the other parent up and moved away and I had no friends while I was grieving and depressed. My partner was my only support and he came from such a functional and happy family and he had friends so in the end I gelt like a one sided burden on him with my issues that he couldn't relate to. Ngl I've dwelled on things and gone back and forth between being understanding and then being bitter and then flipping back round again.
It's tough to feel like life threw some shit at you and by extension that shit kinda cost you your relationship too. Or shortened it. You'll likely have a rollercoaster of mixed feelings in the next while. Let yourself feel it.
No. 1186624
>>1186587Blocked you? Wtf
Yeah imo it's best to stop trying if you don't feel good with them. Better being a lone wolf than a try hard. What works for me is trying to find friends elsewhere (out of uni) if I don't mesh with the current group. Also found out that other 'loners' in uni are sometimes interesting, nice and funny to talk to so also give that a try. They might just not fit in the group bc the group is shitty and they aren't. Especially the ones that also don't give a shit about groups or popularity (not the ones not accepted but trying cringy hard to be, those won't even wanna talk because they think it would drag them down lmao like life's a movie or something). I usually sit next to someone, talk if we click but just do my own thing if they are cold. If you look confident enough on your own, some people will even go talk to you.
This is quite obviously not advice in how to become more popular or liked but I'd rather be a bit lone and have my ego intact than try to please people and force myself into uncomfortable interactions.
But then again maybe in your particular case it's only in your head and they like you. Anyway not trying too hard is best.
No. 1186674
File: 1652890811983.jpg (69.92 KB, 1200x675, Divf2e6X4AEHSgB.jpg)
I'm so fucking tired of being steamrolled, ignored and dogpiled in my MTG (magic the gathering) matches. Context; I pay to play in a mood dominated local shop for prizes. Women used to play there a lot until the moids all started boxing them out. The treatment was cold outside of the game and in game the woman was always the first target wiped out mercilessly no matter how shitty her decks were. I asked a long term employee how it was for women then and that's when he told me all the aforementioned crap. I get the same treatment but worse because I have a really mean deck with mechanics they all complain about. I've decided I'm going full salt and building the most revolting, competitive and unforgiving decks possible to play against them so it's even more grating for the men. They don't deserve to have fun for chasing out young women and mother's with their daughters. Magic the Gathering is for everyone these fucking scrotes have no idea what's going to hit them. I've had enough of the off hand remarks, complaints about my decks despite the power level matching theirs (honestly it might be a little behind at worst), the straight up silent dismissal whenever I speak or try to joke with them about fun things and the lore. They're weak cowards. I'm going to infect the fuck out of them and destroy their fucking lands. I held back on being the 'villain' but now they've opened Pandora's box. I have to beat them to avenge all the women consigned to only playing at their own houses or friends. Those women and girls loved playing and collecting and men ruined their favorite thing, as usual. I refuse to be boxed out. I will fucking annihilate and if Competitive EDH is ever a thing I will try to go pro and inflict as much emotional turmoil on my scrotum opponents and snatch the ultimate W then donate the money to rape and domestic abuse shelters in my area just to piss them off even more.
No. 1186678
File: 1652891046025.jpg (44.56 KB, 1024x576, margot_robbie_wtf_galore_mag-1…)
>mfw waiting at checkout in store, some middle aged scrote walks in repeating ''heil hitler'' and starts talking to me ''are you so and so, you know my daughter, you are this and that''
ofc a bunch of alcos moids are also in front of the store smoking and day drinking too. i hate this shithole sometimessssssssss DON'T TALK TO MEEEEEEEEEEE
No. 1186683
>>1186674you go
nonnie. Make those scrotes sweat!
No. 1186697
>>1186624Yeah, it really shocked me when I saw it and I'm too scared to ask if anyone else knows why they might have done it. I wouldn't want to answer something like that if I was in their position, so I'll leave it at that.
I'm too afraid of people to start conversations on my own, but I'll keep it in mind if I ever end up in a fitting situation! For the past weeks I didn't let anything bother me, but seeing that I had been blocked just made me start to question everything else too I guess. Getting confronted by how shallow the bonds I thought I had made really are just made me feel so hopelessly lonely again. I'll try to not try so hard lol, I just can't tell what's too much because I've been avoiding contact with other people for so long. Sometimes I think I talk too much and it'll get annoying, but then they turn to other people because they'd rather talk to them instead of me. I don't know how to approach anyone because when I do, I try to be friendly but then they pull a step back and treat me kind of politely, in the way you might treat a stranger. Maybe I'll just stay alone forever
No. 1186709
File: 1652892232721.jpg (87.85 KB, 828x1257, IMG_20220518_175517.jpg)
I always feel sad when I see stuff like this. I'm not going ti shit on her or her choices, but I seen a handful of documentaries about women who become Muslim and it's pretty much guaranteed that they're doing it for a man. This is never an independent decision they make naturally it's always because they're saying someone who is too ashamed to bring her home to the family. It just upsets me that there's so many girls who do this to please someone they love without considering that being told to go full niqab means the man doesn't respect them at all
No. 1186717
>>1186674hell yeah
nonnie fuck them up, we're all rooting for you
No. 1186735
File: 1652893102362.jpg (40.94 KB, 426x270, hqdefault.jpg)
Not to be dramatic but sometimes I feel like I wasn't meant to be born. I feel so out of place in this world. It's been about 10 years since I last had ambitions and really looked forward to or enjoyed something. Can't even remember the last time I genuinely lived in the moment. The only time I ever leave my house is for doc appointments, work, uni and grocery shopping. I try to meet up with people but more often than not I just end up flaking because deep down I feel like I don't belong. It's not even their fault because they're the ones who reach out to me but I'm too retarded to engange in conversations without long pauses in between. Romantic relationships don't work out for me either because I end up breaking things off before they get serious. It's like I just don't know how to derive joy from things and I always manage to sabotage myself. I feel like a faulty prototype of a human being. It's like I'm just existing and not truly living.
No. 1186758
>>1186740kek he recently just got it. he was a big "anti social media" person until he got one. Funny because he is legit crazy. we both had traumatic childhoods but the difference is I went to therapy instead of using my partner as a punching bag
>>1186741I know right..Like you expect them to be better than this. He is an asswipe to her
No. 1186759
File: 1652894136852.gif (1.79 MB, 271x271, tumblr_p3aczihRE31wjxk0zo2_400…)
I still fucking think about him and I shouldn't
No. 1186770
File: 1652894724221.gif (3.18 MB, 320x234, 1632685459137.gif)
I suck at names so I just named my dog 'woof' because it was easy to remember and all, everything was going alright until I was playing catch with her in the park and this lil shit decided to play hide and seek or something, I thought she got lost, so I yelled her name 'woof'. Now everyone at the park probably thinks I was some weirdo who likes to bark…
No. 1186776
>>1186697Nonnie don't worry, I absolutely get what you're saying and I experienced it almost like you. Sometimes you just don't meet the right people, it sounds cliche but sometimes you just have bad luck and maybe the field you're in draws in people with a bit different mentality than what you'd fit in. I liked my previous class but this one is just hopeless to me. So like I said I kinda stopped trying and embraced my asocial side and it's pretty chill.
Blocking or unfollowing you seems shitty if you're nice to them (if you're not sexually harassing or being tactless, rude or something to them) and that's 100% not on you but on them.
No. 1186835
File: 1652898209558.jpeg (255.48 KB, 800x800, 89ACF37C-5872-45AF-B496-280A9E…)
i bought picrel from the grocery store today because i wanted to try something new, and i love anything to do with mushrooms. the smell of the soup itself made me literally gag and everything else smelled disgusting too. i’m so annoyed because i was looking forward to it and i usually love chinese noodle kits
No. 1186837
>>1186735my whole life I've felt this way and have come to the conclusion that this type of spiral circular thinking is exactly what leads to your self-sabotage and you probably know it too. the only way to break the cycle of feeling like you don't belong is to show up and prove that you do. those voices inside your head are voices you're repeating to yourself, they're not truths, not some god, and were most likely put in their by other people who taught you to feel like you don't belong and feel this way to begin with. stop believing the lies and stories you've told yourself and surprise yourself instead. just see how far you can go. dont put the burden of trying on strangers. its your life, if you want it to have meaning or purpose, you have to make the choice to be responsible for your own happiness and continue to show up and create that for yourself, not expect that someone else will give enough of a shit to do it for you. dont believe the lies you've told yourself for so long that you believe they're true. everyone is just winging it, very few people feel like they "belong" and the ones who do are typically misguided/naive with 0 awareness and have never been made to feel like they don't belong in their lives.
show up for yourself. others will do the same.
No. 1186843
>>1184091We are definitely heading towards a divorce, I have been thinking about it daily for quite a while now. I keep on telling him I can not take anymore of this and then his ex acts up and it is me who bears the emotional burden of it. I do not think it will ever get better at this point.
>>1184021He lives in his dreamland in his head where he ignores bad things and if he wishes them not to be true, they are not to him. Which is why I am one step away from filing for divorce. I talk to him about it and then he pretends a bit later that it never happened because the reality hurts him too much.
No. 1186870
File: 1652899305041.jpg (59.3 KB, 818x864, b51a219345ef46d9b304f1fb7cd265…)
>tfw you are stuck on a self-destruction cycle and deep down you know that you won't see your 30s because you will kill yourself.
Fuck, I didn't chose to be born as a socially retard living on an almost broken family and working a shitty job.
At least I have my best friend and boyfriend, but I know they will left me soon.
No. 1186924
>>1182302Where do you live? I thought the same until I moved to a country with high wages and work my relatively low level job and make bank while living frugally because it's what I know.
Now I have many times more savings than all my friends who went on to work full time graduate jobs after their degrees, can really consider investing and honestly don't know how to handle the money I have. It's too much and it just sits there becuase i'm intimidated by stocks and shit, that was always for the rich people.
No. 1186939
File: 1652901602932.jpg (88.72 KB, 500x488, a9da147f1e6d4eca331df96515da28…)
>>1186914It's depressing to know that we land the unfortunate side of the gamble. Do things you enjoy nona. Reality will always be there, but don't let it hurt you too much. It's a lot of pain to deal with all at once.
No. 1187050
>>1186274Please listen to
>>1187030 nonna and don't befriend him. It could seriously backfire.
No. 1187058
File: 1652907425463.jpg (11.21 KB, 236x375, 000da788fd4423840a6183f87cbb50…)
Why is losing the last few pounds so hard? I had a really good weight loss streak but oh noooow my body suddenly has all of these cravings even though I don't restrict too much and eat balanced meals. I'm not about to get my period either and even when I do, I don't have any issues with the things I want to eat. I'm so mad, I caved and all I had was cheese, bread and chocolate today. I know one day isn't going to fuck anything up but things like that always caused me to go off track for a couple of days in the past.
No. 1187134
File: 1652910505807.jpeg (122.08 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpeg)
>mfw trying to explain to my dad that adding $9 worth more of food to groceries so he can get cheaper delivery isn't saving him money overall when taking the expensive delivery ultimately gives a cheaper total cost
AHHHHHH THESE GROCERY STORES ARE SCAMMING MY PEOPLE
No. 1187179
File: 1652915126391.jpg (65.48 KB, 740x250, 2022-03-19.jpg)
>>1187175Yeah the previously intelligent satire and commentary just turned into "illuminati overlord reptilians want to vaxx us full of poisoned microchips and the deepstate hides the truth" garbage. It's so fucking sad, I loved his work portraying women's plight and often wondered if it was a woman writing for the strips or something so this is just the worst downfall to witness. Never trust a moid I guess.
No. 1187182
File: 1652915261479.jpeg (1.05 MB, 2000x2000, 1617416560933.jpeg)
I was supposed to spend this summer working and relaxing in-between but I’m certain I failed multiple finals so I’ll be spending it worrying about how I’m going to tell my mom that I’m getting kicked out of university
No. 1187198
File: 1652916550755.jpg (30.45 KB, 400x400, QNyWbylJFkGNKm96HDlDX9U84BDEfR…)
>despite the fact you work better than your normie coworkers and unlike them you haven't made a single mistake and you haven't take a single day off during the whole year of your work there, your manager and shift leaders treat them better and like them more than you simply because they're very chatty, open and extraverted, and not a mute autist like you
This is not fair. I don't expect normies to like me, but I wish I was at least treated like an equal. I don't get why they get a promotion proposal when they're not better than me in anything except socialization and their performance at work is worse than mine. I thought your performance is the most important thing at a company, but I guess I was wrong. I'm not good even as a cog in the machine. This is my whole life. No matter how hard I try, I will never be as good as others simply because I'm not normal like them
No. 1187200
>>1187198You gotta learn to play the game
nonnie. I hate it too but it’s just how the world works. You can learn to pretend to be sociable. It just takes time and practice.
No. 1187207
>>1187189>Bone brothGreat
>Bee pollenWhat the fuck
>Brazil nutsAbsolutely not
No. 1187222
>>1187198I forgot to mention something that's very painful for me. some of my coworkers, especially one girl, like to point out I'm clumsy and I almost always take jokes seriously, even though I told her I'm autistic and I have a hard time telling when people lie to me, I was also abused as a child and even as an adult I often feel like I'm about to get punished for something even though I haven't done anything wrong. and despite knowing this she likes to mess with me, like she tells me our shift leader told her that I made a mistake or something, my first reaction is always to take this seriously and get scared, and she laughs at me. even if I'm able to rationalize it after a minute, my first reaction is always stress and fear and I'm angry that she finds it funny. she claims she likes and respects me and initiates conversations with me but I just don't feel like she takes me that seriously, I feel like her pet or something, I'm this funny, sad clumsy person who takes everything seriously. The worst thing is that my shift leader is also on the joke now and last time she told me I have to stay an hour longer than others and do a stocktake while exchaning smiles and looks with my coworker. of course, I didn't have to stay. I feel like no one takes me seriously and just laughs at me behind my back, it's probably just innocent jokes for them but for me it means they will never see me as an equal, because they know my weakness and yet they take adventage of it for teh lulz
>>1187214that would be a good advice anon if I could start everything from the beginnig, but I guess my image is permanently tainted now because of the above
No. 1187224
File: 1652918421485.jpg (59.95 KB, 740x250, 2021-10-26.jpg)
>>1187172i found out several weeks ago as well, disappointed but not surprised
shame cause i still really like his art style
https://sinfest.xyz/ No. 1187231
File: 1652919240269.gif (78.65 KB, 100x120, s115.gif)
I'm legit happy for the first time in fucking 30 years after being depressed for so fucking long holy shit. I forgot how amazing music sounds, how food can taste delicious, and how bright and beautiful the world is. It feels great to finally feel content and at peace and just good. Just bought a cute summer dress and some new sun glasses, actually feel cute enough to go outside for once and just enjoy the sun. Ahh I'm excited!
No. 1187246
>>1187231Rooting for you
nonnie! Thanks for sharing the positivity.
No. 1187277
File: 1652925028314.jpeg (87.1 KB, 750x1000, CA8A7A88-87DC-45E0-A1DF-1DA4AC…)
Stop stalking me stop baiting me leave me alone I can't take it anymore I wish all obsessive moids would drop dead
No. 1187338
>>1187328Those are very
valid real feelings, why did you spoiler anon? I hope you feel better soon though must be rough
No. 1187353
>>1187222this is fucking bad and so disrespectful! are they hoping you eventually get the jokes and stop stressing or is it just the pure sadism? wtf. if i were you i would want to quit so badly and would just stop showing my reaction to their shitty joke if not outright show my offense. what the hell, you are not any worse than them, they are in fact horrible! i hate when this shit happens because i also work conscientiously and all it does in the end is make me the doormat. then when i stand up for myself i am suddenly the asshole. for being a normie they sure are lacking empathy and social awareness. i am not doing all that work because i feel beneath them, i do all that hard work because that is the job and i want to do it properly.
this keeps happening at wagie jobs i work, and i tried many, like cleaner, cashier, the worst is team member at fast food because then they expect you to be all of that. i just do my job faster than anyone and precisely and completely, and apparently that means to them it's okay for them to slack off, slow down and talk to each other the whole shift. and if i show distress or can't keep this up or call it out, they get offended? honestly wtf. i take anti anxiety and sleep medications during my shift to help me slow down to the level of a normie. if i work my normal speed they will leave all the work to me with no shame. i thought normies were supposed to be the team workers? it fucking sucks that now the whole shift consists of me measuring my level of effort to theirs and trying to keep it as low as possible so they don't abuse me. and i had to do this gradually because when i lowered it all the way down suddenly my fucking manager dared to write me a threatening message for not doing the job properly. which was already the job of 2 people i was doing by myself. fuck. them.
No. 1187410
>>1187246thanks nona!
>>1187232I wish I had a good quick fix answer but it was a slow and steady over time thing. I grew up in a very physically
abusive home, and subsequently went through
abusive relationships to escape. It took a lot of healing, unlearning shitty patterns and behaviours, meeting positive and supportive people, and just learning that I'm worthy of love, and that it's okay for me to say no to people. I know that sounds really dumb and obvious, and logically I always knew, but you need to
know in your heart that you're worth it, which is such a difficult thing for some of us. Learning to have self esteem, to have boundaries and empowerment was something I never thought I could have but here I am. I'm not gunna drone on about how shitty my life was but let me tell you if I can be happy again, anyone can.
I'd say the biggest positive change was meeting a group of girls who went through similar situations as me, and being empowered by their friendship and support. Every time I hang out with them I feel more myself. Sorry that doesnt' help much!
No. 1187452
>>1187425Crop tops are only a thing in teenage or fastfashion stores. Go to stores that are appropriate for your age and stop complaining. I personally have a very very short torso and longer tops make me look super weird. I'm thankful croptops became a thing because I can finally wear something without tucking it in my pants.
Also crop tops are popular because of high waisted pants, longer tops would look weird with them.
No. 1187466
>>1187452I have a short torso too and look better in high waisted pants.
>I'm thankful croptops became a thing because I can finally wear something without tucking it in my pants.Same. It looks wrong when I put a long/normal length shirt on and I hate tucking my shirts in for every outfit (reminds me of my time at catholic schools).
No. 1187580
>>1187353I'm sorry for your experience anon, it's not fair you're doing your best and no one respects that and they only use it as a reason to slack off. I think people like us should honestly just work from home because working among normies is too draining, but I know that not everyone can do it. it just sucks. during my neet years I always heard from my therapist that it will get better once I start to work a normal job among other people, but now I not only feel alone as ever, I also feel even more different than before because I can constantly compare myself to them, the only good use for a normie job and listening to normie talk, even if I don't respond, is that it distracts me from paranoic and suicidal thoughts, at least sometimes. back then when I used to sit alone at home all days I was seriously getting paranoid, especially about my health, believing I'm literally rotting inside, spending my whole savings for medical appointments and tests because I was fully convinced I have cancer in various parts of my body etc. It was pure hell
No. 1187634
>>1187587i'm in the same boat nonna, except mine is a singer-related tattoo quite big and on my thigh. i don't actually regret the tattoo at all but i should have got it somewhere more subtle because you know what people are like when you have tattoos - they have to ask ALL the questions and what they all mean. like another anon said, you can just say you got it because you like it, you don't have to explain deep meanings or why you got it to anyone.
idk if you're interested in having more tattoos either but if you are, you could always get another tattoo somewhere near it so that one doesn't "stick out" as much, that's what I plan to do with mine when I have the money.
No. 1187764
>>1187452>Go to stores that are appropriate for your ageI'm in my mid 20's and all fucking stores here have them.
I'm glad you short-torsoed nonnies have something to wear but it'd be nice if they had the same proportion of normal length shirts too.
No. 1187827
File: 1652967274846.jpeg (99.87 KB, 933x1035, 8950FEAB-45C3-4C85-A619-D3E15C…)
I wish some rich lesbian anon here would become my sugar mommy I’m tired of being in college
No. 1187855
File: 1652969753589.png (204.91 KB, 559x500, OU4DcxA.png)
>>1187845it should honestly be illegal for autistic men to be on the internet. they should legit be forbidden, nothing good ever comes out of autistic moids spending a little too much time on the internet. it has bred an entire species of arrogant, socially inept men who sperg about things that normal hard-working people don't even care about.
it's like you mix the natural retardation and audacity of a male with the lack of social awareness of an autist and you create the most annoying little rodents ever to exist. autistic moids don't even have the benefit of masking or being introspective like women do, so you have my condolences nonna. your brother sounds like a genuine retard and his dreams will be quickly shattered once someone eventually laughs in his face and calls him a freak for thinking like that (which hopefully happens soon).
No. 1187941
File: 1652974112115.gif (9.77 KB, 60x60, 2137906kijdo2cvly.gif)
>>1187920Here's a hug for you nona
No. 1187948
File: 1652974290144.png (116.46 KB, 366x389, sadphosu.png)
I wish I could be euthanized like they to do sick and dying animals. I'm nearly 30 years old with no education, no career, no money, no relationship, no real life friends and no prospects. I've wanted to commit suicide on and off since I was 11 years old, and I feel like once I hit 30 It's truly nowhere else but down. I made a promise to myself I wouldn't kill myself until I hit 30 because maybe I could turn things around before then, but I've proved to myself that I am what I've always been, a failure.
Alternatively, I wish I lived in the USA so I could buy a gun to kill myself with. It seems like the quickest way to go out, I've thought extensively about how to kill myself and all of them seem drawn out and messy. I wish I had a gun so I could go out into the woods and shoot myself and just leave behind a message for my family that I was gone, so they wouldn't spend have to spend time looking for me. I'm getting truly tired of this life and I can't see myself going on until I die of natural causes. At the same time I have no idea what path I could take to truly make life worth living when I have no value, skill or talent as a human being.
No. 1188032
File: 1652976940122.gif (2.94 MB, 640x640, rachet-cat-attack.gif)
UK police are actually fucking pathetic and I'm willing to bet half of them are nonces themselves. They constantly shit on vigilante groups and act as if they're just retarded poors trying to take the law into their own hands despite the fact the police do fuck all to catch nonces or sex offenders in the first place. Maybe if you all did your fucking jobs we wouldn't NEED vigilante groups to use decoys to catch nonces! And when they do arrest nonces, they're released on meek little sentences and given a slap on the wrist. An old woman got arrested for putting terf stickers on a lamppost but there's literal rapists and nonces walking the streets after being released and you expect us to have any faith in you? Shut the fuck up.
And then they also LOVE to go on about how "well technically he hasn't committed a crime by talking and attempting to groom a decoy" bitch I hope you die. I hope you all fucking die, these men are literally showing you they want to fuck kids right in front of your face and you want to be all like "muh red tape muh well ayckhually they haven't raped a kid yet so we can't do anyfing luv xx" fuck off and die, honestly. They say the exact same shit about victims of domestic violence and claim they "can't do nuffing xx" until the victim is actually seriously beaten or almost murdered. Congratulations cunts, you're all retarded and this is why communities don't trust you for shit. This shit right here is why vigilante groups are needed because you fat pig cunts are too lazy and too retarded to even use your resources and money to protect your communities like you're SUPPOSED to despite the fact we pay so much fucking money towards you via council tax every single month. Fuck off.
No. 1188058
>>1188032>An old woman got arrested for putting terf stickers on a lamppost but there's literal rapists and nonces walking the streets after being released and you expect us to have any faith in you? that shit boils my broccoli. Why are we only allowed to feel one way? Women are fighting for basic human rights and being a
TERF is one of them, yet.. we gotta agree with all gay things and all tranny things or else we're nazi bigots. That is the worst garbage. Why dont they focus on their child groomers, rapists and men from other countries causing actual issues? No, it's always the women to blame
No. 1188067
File: 1652978199804.jpg (43.83 KB, 480x480, 1591615101185.jpg)
>>1188056I get along perfectly fine with other autists who read books and stuff, I don't understand what is so great about spending all day yapping about nonsense nobody cares about. I understand what purpose they do it for (build rapport, bond), but I don't understand why they require to go through the motions when understanding the purpose makes it a pointless exercise.
And their empathy is a complete sham. I truly understand people because I have to actively develop and understand theory of mind while they just do it by instinct and fail all the time, but they don't notice when they fail because they aren't aware of the process, so they get mad at the people they fail to understand for not complying with their idea of who they are. They bully and cause drama and scheme all the time for no reason. They do not even know why themselves.
Oh my god, I start to sound like the Forbidden Woman.
No. 1188106
>>1188101people don't even believe how bad I've had it and how mentally ill I am. My entire life I had to listen to the issues of others that had more opportunity than me and shower them with empathy while nobody ever gave a fuck about what the fuck was going on in my life since I was literally born. It's always them who have BPD who have PTSD who are depressed but bitch this is the third time I go homeless and nobody has ever shown me a gram of empathy or love my entire life while they consumed mine and I never had anything in my life. I'm jealous of people that experienced Christmas or normal human things like touch and love and a safe environment as a child
.Why must it end like this? Why is life forcing me to kill?
No. 1188119
>>1188022>>1188067wtf are you me? i feel all of this 100%.
it makes me feel like an asshole when i think this but oh my god some normies are so fucking boring. i need to find more autists to talk to irl
No. 1188128
>>1187198Omg the way I am going through the exact same thing right now. It fuckign sucks
nonnie. I am seriously considering to leave my job
No. 1188165
File: 1652982766116.jpeg (95.3 KB, 621x614, B75905C9-A022-44B0-B35C-5E8415…)
Is it me or have people been openly getting more hostile? I’ve never had issues with strangers until recently, people trying to fight me at the gas pump, being accosted by an old man for going before him despite being next in line, being shoulder checked. Maybe I just look like I’m asking for a fight.
No. 1188255
>>1188165A few years ago I moved to the far end of my country to get away from the city and from rudeness and overcrowding and all that good stuff that I was just sick of experiencing. I moved to a lazy lil town that's half full of pensioners. Felt like a different world here. Slow paced, chill.
Lately I've noticed some of that 'city behaviour' popping up in people here. Didn't notice it the first few years.
No. 1188283
>>1188154If you want to apply for any government disability benefits you'd need the diagnosis. That's all I can think of.
Honestly though I don't recommend getting diagnosed with things like BPD, bipolar, any "schizo" disorder, etc. It doesn't mean anything if you're diagnosed. You can talk with professionals and explain you have the disorder but don't want to be officially diagnosed. You can end up in legal issues with the family court system down the road from what I understand. It might sound paranoid, but it's always good to er on the side of caution.
No. 1188298
>>1188101Sorry,
nonnie. What gets you fired every time?
No. 1188299
>>1188067I feel the same exact way. I just want some non-normie friends irl to talk about special interests with.
I get why people small talk, it can be annoying sometimes in excess, but I don't understand how so many people only take interest in really vapid things. Not even ironically. I even try to be understanding, like maybe they didn't get exposed to certain info, but no, like most people really are so painfully boring.
No. 1188305
>>1188067Samefag but I forgot to add that there's a channel called Jennifer Brick I watch for how to act professional in workplaces. It's not going to fix entirely what you're talking about, but it taught me a lot about how to work with people. Don't trust coworkers even if they act friendly, don't ever say anything negative at work, etc.
Dale Carnegie's "how to make friends and influence people" is also another great resource. The only problem is that I find this kind of professionalism really impersonal, it's kind of depressing, but its better than dealing with coworker drama.
No. 1188356
>>1188315I suffer from panic attacks and aside from grounding you can also try deep or square breathing (there are many videos for these, but in short you have to breathe in, keep your breath for a few seconds and then slowly breathe out, repeat for a couple of minutes). Standing up and walking around can also help you calm down, and strong physical sensations (like cold or pain) can help you snap out of it. Submerging your face in cold water also automatically slows down your heart rate. Some people say that eating can calm you down but honestly I wouldn't try it.
Recognizing that you're having a panic attack helps greatly though, so it may not even come up!
No. 1188429
File: 1652992770559.png (334.69 KB, 656x641, fuck_you_fuck_you.png)
This may completely break your heart, but being same-sex attracted isn't an aesthetic, it's just who you would date and that's final. What the fuck is weirdcore-dark academia-lesbian vibes? I told you none of it made sense to me since gay people aren't born from lab vats full of glitter or rainbows, they're all people with different personalities. Your brain is rotted with associating possessions with your identity as someone who likes pussy. It's a symptom of consumerism that burns down to your very core perception of self, it's a disease. I like the shit that I like because I just do, it doesn't make me fucking queer. Even gasp straight women can be interested in different, stereotypically masculine things. I thought it was you who said that masculine straight women and feminine lesbian women exist? Why don't you think so? I feigned ignorance about knowing the "logic" behind your very scientific formulation on how you think I'm "queer", but just know that you're being homophobic, and you don't even know it. The worldview that old white men who own companies that have the power to influence your mind to a scary extent has infected your self-perception, and not only are you completely oblivious to it, you think you're sticking it to The Man for buying cheap bisexual flags sewn by one-handed Bengali women.
No. 1188475
File: 1652994408284.jpg (222.47 KB, 800x450, cover4.jpg)
Was considering of posting in the Mundane Shit Thread but this was actually an event.
I think I was approached by a pickup artist yesterday. I was minding my own business, changing public transport to go home and as I was walking to my bus stop this guy spawns from thin air, blocks my path and asks "Excuse me, you look like a girl I saw at [x] university, do you go there?" then starts shooting rapid fire questions leaving me with little to no time to actually respond or refuse his advances without being aggressivly rude (I think most of them rely on women being too polite to tell them to fuck off directly so they bother you like pushy salesmen). Most of his strategy was "You look like an [x] kind of girl, do you [xyz]?" When he asked me what kind of books I like to read I turned that question back at him and he started going off about philosophy, asked me if I like The Witcher but before he could switch to another question I asked him "what else? pickup artist stuff?" He went queit for a second and started laughing and called me a clever fox (cringe) and tried to do a save about how PUAs are old news and are going extinct. Thankfully my bus came around the corner and I told him I had to leave. He said "Oh no, come one leave it." I said "Sorry, I'm going." and went towards the bus. He said "No, you'll stay here." which was semi-creepy but he said it while laughing and I just said "No." and got on the bus.
The weather was shit (on-off rain) and it was exactly the day where public transportation was protesting so they would stay at a stop for several minutes before departing. Afer I got on the bus I couldn't see the guy anymore, he disappeared the same way he appeared out of nowhere. For a second I was scared he would get on the bus and continue to bother me but thankfully he didn't. But yeah, scrotes being cringe and autistic as always. Imagine stopping a woman in the middle of bad weather while she's obviously about to catch a bus, bombarding her with information and thinking she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand? I actually don't know what kind of tactics PUAs use but I've had this happen 3 times over the last 10 years and the encounters seem similar in how these guys act.
No. 1188509
>>1188144It's not retarded to worry,
nonnie! I'm sure your bunny will be just fine
No. 1188516
>>1187948I'm sorry you're in pain
nonnie. Remember, you don't have to live a big, exciting life to live a good life. If you can see the blue sky, sleep in a warm bed, and watch your favorite show on TV, there's still reason to live. I hope things get better for you.
No. 1188551
File: 1652997013194.jpg (75.19 KB, 845x954, original.jpg)
>>1188537nice try fucker, you can not escape my kind reply and sympathy
No. 1188553
>>1188475>>1188475I think I had a pua follower approach me a couple years back. It was pretty early in the morning and I had a coffee in my hand that I hadn't even taken a sip of yet. I was walking to work still tired and it was so unexpected that I thought it was just friendly small talk at first (I do live in a friendly area where it happens) but nope. Like you said rapidfire questions as if we were fucking speeddating. Shit that no stranger needs to be enquiring about.
It's hard to think on your feet when it's so unexpected like that but I got fed up and told the guy I'm an autist, then I proceeded to misunderstand or act confused by every question he asked. No idea if he could tell the tard act was just an act but I commited to the act and he was still keen? He wanted my number and asked at least 4 times before giving up. He was walking in the same direction as me and I was half planning on taking a lil detour to the local cop station to see if he'd follow me on in. They're so misguided.
No. 1188555
>>1187772Try not to worry noni, and remind yourself of the irony of so called >>empaths>> shittalking other people.
It's perfectly normal to have negative thoughts about people sometimes, it's not possible to get along or align with everybody.
And in my personal experience these "love and light" people are the most bitchy and judgemental, also tend to be cheap and tightfisted af.
As John Lydon once said, never trust a hippy.
No. 1188586
File: 1652998062381.jpg (13.57 KB, 380x380, headachecat.jpg)
I keep getting headaches from bearing down.
No. 1188588
>>1188586Samefag, I shouldn't have said bearing down. I'm not giving birth.
These headaches are fucking me up.
No. 1188597
File: 1652998266037.jpg (2.95 MB, 4128x2322, 20220519_230952.jpg)
>>1188032Are you from my town noni?
I think I tangentially know sticker lady through a demo I went to one home from work, and some ladies who were giving out leaflets a few weeks ago…anyway, I have a whole bunch of terfy stickers which I have procrastinated about putting up; I ordered them from Kellie Jay Keene and you have inspired me to go for it.
No. 1188603
>>1188595I've actually been doing this for years (pushing with my vagina when I don't have to. I don't wanna get into too much detail but it stems from a fear of mine). It's just now giving me these more regular headaches.
>>1188600It's not, but thank you anooonien.
No. 1188655
File: 1653000035354.gif (655.61 KB, 250x150, CD1568B9-9BE1-4749-855C-CE6F38…)
FUcK I think I have a kidney stone
No. 1188686
File: 1653001016364.png (301.49 KB, 903x678, 3uNHIiJpEAVzDmqUR0bf.png)
I just found out a guy I liked has a gf and I met her, she's uglier than me and a little overweight. He was driving me and my coworker to work, he sometimes does that, but this time his gf happened to be in the car too, then we talked a little bit and she was acting insecure around me and didn't even want to look at me. The guy didn't even know I had a crush on him and we never talked about anything more than work and politics and dumb memes, I know it's over and I have to let go, that's not a problem for me. But I started wondering about something. The guy is tall and pretty cute, nothing extraordinary but still, cute and definitely more attractive than her (which is rare bc usually the woman is more attractive than the man) and I wonder, if someone like her can get someone like him, why can't I? I heard that he was the one to approach her first, so that makes me wonder even more. Was her personality so great he fell for her? And how did they meet? Why is it so hard to find a decent looking tall guy? Most men are repulsive or just painfully average, I feel like I will have to settle down for an uggo because I'm so starved for human affection, but I don't want to. I had men and women telling me that I'm beautiful and that some people may be afraid of talking to me because both of my looks and the fact I seem cold and hard to approach, and maybe that's why men rarely approach me. But fuck. I can't help it. Even if I could change, where can I find a good looking guy who's also nice and not taken? The guy who was my crush was literally the only decent looking and above 6 feet tall man I've seen here in months. Even if I ignored height, there's no good looking shorties either. God I just want to cuddle with a cute, decent guy…
No. 1188770
File: 1653005371361.png (19.44 KB, 512x256, 784120352986.png)
>TFW the only physical touch you get is when you're sitting next to strangers on the bus
No. 1188790
File: 1653006791771.jpeg (165.04 KB, 1920x1070, 29BF543A-CBE6-4E05-81DF-315BB4…)
I was just talking to my bf about the girl I was friends with in Highschool. She was super obsessed with resident evil and had an online relationship with some 35year old fandubber of Wesker. He gave her this creepy ass sex novel of a fairy tale and said it was like their relationship. She was 17 and bragged about it in class to the point our teacher was concerned. I feel awful for not telling the teacher who actually showed some concern. It was so fucked. Of course she met a 24 resident evil cosplayer at a convention the year before graduation. They basically moved in together right as school went out. She was still 17 and seeing two older men at once. I wish I could have helped her wake the fuck up. We’re not friends anymore it’s been years since I’ve seen her but I still think about that time.
No. 1188810
>>1188803You're not crazy, he's trying to upset you and doesn't want you to just stop playing. It's not emotionally
abusive to let someone know you aren't interested in sharing your feelings with them anymore. It sounds like you should avoid him as much as possible, I hope this works out well for you.
No. 1188853
File: 1653014039254.png (928.71 KB, 622x691, 84933E29-C5E9-44AB-A2DB-160EB1…)
whenever i post random shit here i get bunch of nonnies to reply but when i post with my whole pussy into it it gets ignored. We live in a society
No. 1188880
File: 1653016680783.jpeg (58.82 KB, 622x350, 95CE26A9-C42C-4472-B955-14C78B…)
>you realize you are an unloveable incoherent mess undesired by potential partners, friends and everyone else
>try to better yourself
>keep relapsing into old toxic habits you acquired in the past
What next? Why me
No. 1188906
>>1188883It’s a bit of both, honestly. I basically trusted a friend’s recommendation and paid for the room through them, rather than airbnb itself. The photos they showed me were misleading, and there’s some fucky stuff in the room too (like the lightbulb never fully turns off, so it’s too bright to get good sleep) it’s 100% on me for being so gullible and not doing my own research tho.
>>1188881I LOVE your energy
nonnie No. 1188907
File: 1653019558961.jpeg (31.1 KB, 512x512, 2493CB14-D4D7-4C05-B912-23A3C9…)
My tongue hurts every time I move it and I have this weird sore on the left side of it that looks inflamed and a tiny bit open (like a taste bud ripped open a hole? idk tbh) but there’s no blood or anything but it feels like a canker sore but it’s not. Honestly don’t even know if it’s oral cancer, I don’t remember if I bit that part of my tongue really hard. I’m not even scared if it is something serious but I largely doubt it but omfg the slight pain is so annoying especially when you want to eat spicy/acidic things
No. 1188964
File: 1653025615296.jpg (11.01 KB, 275x241, 1651050378073.jpg)
The one thing I am happy about growing up is that I remember my childhood less and less. There's certain things I don't need to remember.
No. 1189007
>>1188179i am fed up with the beauty standards these chronically online scrotoids have for women. they haven't even seen a real woman in so long, their standards are delusional and sky high. it's always highly retouched and edited skin, face and body, wigs, stage makeup, and other photomanipulated cosplay pictures that they base women's looks of. in their mind if you don't look like a cgi anime character, you are ugly. what a cope, while they are unironically a rotting ball of hairy meatsack with no personality. that poor girl on the pictures, she must have been his crush, or someone that looked like the girl who rejected him. i bet she looked normal if not amazing, while the guy was an ogre in comparison. if he wanted it to be realistic, he should have genderswapped his own selfies. even then of course women get more matches than guys, because a woman always adds something to a dude's life, even if she is ugly, but a man is almost always a burden. these scrotes are crazy. they will never have the empathy, consideration, self reflection, intuition, personal hygiene and beauty skills, resilience, strenght and intellect of an average outgoing woman.
No. 1189014
File: 1653030783727.jpg (243.46 KB, 840x698, CLOWN.jpg)
>>1188475>>1188553i'm genuinely a bit autistic and when this happened to me the first time i thought, what a nice conversation. if he wasn't so pushy and aggressive while revealing no information himself and showing no personality, while trying to touch me, dressing and smelling like he purposefully is having a "pick up day" and treating the whole convo as a weird interview practice, while i am clearly busy and uncomfortable, it wouldn't have been so bad.
then i learned about pick up artists on youtube.
No. 1189049
File: 1653035335584.jpg (34.5 KB, 461x578, EEPCukAX4AIc8By.jpg)
why did miss nature give me flat feet and wonky knees. I just want to wear heeled boots and feel powerful
No. 1189115
File: 1653041312443.jpg (68.54 KB, 638x430, 53nuizj8.jpg)
I wish my friends would peak already. It's so frustrating seeing them put so much into their relationships while their moids don't even shoulder 1/3 of it. Almost every girls' night out ends with one of my friends crying over her moid but they don't want to break things off because they love them and fear being lonely. They delude themselves into staying because "as a couple you go through hardships together" even though their relationships are unhealthy. How is forgiving your cheating and emotionally distant boyfriend a necessary part of a relationship? And it's completely one-sided because their moids still keep doing these things. It's so hard for me to bite my tongue and not tell them that they sound like retarded clowns in these moments, especially when they vent to me about it.
No. 1189186
File: 1653046593774.jpeg (67.24 KB, 600x515, 2CA2E052-E440-4431-AF41-BC45D8…)
Yesterday a friend of mine gave me some money to get a snack since I was out in a nice town waiting while my boyfriend was doing work. I decided to get ice cream and got a large because I’m stupid and was excited. My boyfriend came over to share it with me and when I licked the icecream it fell to the floor. At first we laughed because we were saying it would fall. But then a few moments later he says “you should be more careful! Why did you get a large!” and I guess I got defensive and said something like “yea I know but i thought the icecream was more secure but the guy didn’t add ice cream in the cone so it didn’t have a structure to stick to!” We move on from that, but then he tells me I need to be more careful and that I shouldn’t of gotten a large and that I wasted my friends money when I should of saved it because we are broke. After he said that I started crying because the money issues have been stressing me out and him saying I wasted my friends money made me feel extremely guilty. I didn’t mean to drop the ice cream. He tries to rub my back to cheer me up but he’s annoyed. By the time we get home I’m still upset and he’s started to give me the silent treatment. I ask him what’s wrong and he eventually said he’s mad that I just didn’t say “okay sorry” when he told me to be more careful and shouldn’t of argued with him. He said I am too hyper and acted like an idiot when we got the ice cream which is why it fell. He also said I shouldn’t be crying and my crying is a shitty reaction to dropping ice cream. But I was crying because I wasted my friends money and I tried to tell him but he wouldn’t listen to that. I feel confused, I’m not really sure who is in the wrong in this situation. I wish we just left it at laughing over dropping the ice cream.
No. 1189197
>>1189186your bf is stinky and stupid. i love you
nonnie, you sound so sweet and caring, don’t listen to him
No. 1189219
File: 1653047716931.gif (12.02 KB, 220x220, 42728082-3E4E-43B5-9BCE-770A82…)
>>1189186Anon you sound so sweet, I want to give you a hug. I hope he makes it up to you.
No. 1189239
>>1189049You don't need heels for that
nonnie!
No. 1189249
>>1189246Oh no.
Nonny's boyfriend found lolcow!
No. 1189256
>>1189191>>1189197He does stink. I’m going to finally tell my mom about this.. not the first time this has happened. I spent too much time blaming myself for his anger over small things. I’m over all of this
>>1189201I’ll try to tell him that if the argument comes up again. Sometimes he listens if he’s had a day to calm down.
>>1189246I love lolcow and I wish I could have an ice cream party with every
nonny who is being helpful to me about this situation.
No. 1189273
>>1189186This feels so similar to my last relationship. So much misery and for what? We were always broke and always fighting over the smallest things. He couldn't let shit go and would ruin entire days out or weekends over any lil incidents like this. We could've been broke and still made the best of our situation but nope.
Tbh if you look into it 'giving the silent treatment' is often just a sign of an emotionally abuse partner. The bickering can go either way but silent treatment is an attempt to emotionally punish someone. There's nothing to gain from it apart from punishment. Needing space and asking for space is one thing but actual silent treatment would send me packing. Never again.
No. 1189342
File: 1653052982574.png (81.26 KB, 646x619, Untitled.png)
>>1189239I love how they look!
No. 1189356
File: 1653053910277.jpg (73.99 KB, 1300x821, upsetscrote.jpg)
I've been skipping uni from time to time when I feel exhausted and none of my professor give a damn except one… He seems to take it personally when I skip his classes and behave in a weird way towards me when I come back, like he's upset or something, he'll ignore my questions or answer them sarcastically it's so bizarre… It kinda makes him look like a huge baby. I've never had a teacher behave this way before, they usually don't give a shit and barely notice your existence.
No. 1189375
File: 1653055269337.gif (1.28 MB, 500x281, godfuckme.gif)
i brushed my teeth too hard while having a virus and i heard my cheek rip from the side of the gums where i flossed. there is now a huge inflamed area around that tiny spot on my cheek and it tastes like blood on the inside. it's been 3 days.
No. 1189464
File: 1653059891432.jpg (49.36 KB, 650x650, 1584832138393.jpg)
Nightlife settings or social gatherings where the only things you can do are drink and talk to people make me feel like such a freak. I like myself otherwise and I can pass as 'normal' most of the time, but holy shit I just forget how to interact with people when it's loud and crowded and there are no distractions like food or physical activity. I've developed a habit of taking a (mild) edible before going to these types of situations because I just want to be numb to them, but that only makes it worse because then I really do act like a spacey, unhinged weirdo. I have a nice, normie job, middle-aged and older women think I'm charming, I have normal hobbies like plants and baking and shit, but none of that matters when I'm shifting around like a caged animal and speaking out of turn because I'm just so goddamn disturbed by all the noise and weird, ambiguous social codes.
No. 1189527
File: 1653061477765.gif (1.38 MB, 309x200, 3555120zw7h1psi4q.gif)
>>1189520Big hug for you
nonny No. 1189553
>>1189523Maybe they came from femcel article or some thread in snow.
>>1189511How did you find this website?
No. 1189556
File: 1653062009885.jpeg (90.39 KB, 900x1200, 1647954513906.jpeg)
>>1189523>>1189539>>1189553>NewfagI've been here on and off for five years, I took a long break and come back to all these LC namefags just like they have on 4chins and everyone calling each other nona and other gay names. Make it stop.
No. 1189580
>>1189576Yeah, you're making a joke, but that sounds cute as fuck.
Nonnie.
No. 1189587
File: 1653062747674.jpg (3.89 KB, 150x150, 3r436.jpg)
I fucking hate bureaucracy. I know those who work in that field are also just people but I hate it when I send in papers and what not waaaaaaaay before the deadline and I get "warnings" about deadlines and letters saying I didn't send certain things even though I did. Fuck these useless idiots. It's like they're doing it on purpose. I hate that I have to go to their offices in person to rip them a new one but I refuse to be fucked with when it comes to that shit. Don't taunt me.
No. 1189612
File: 1653063491039.jpeg (182.99 KB, 900x640, 92405EBC-78EA-42CD-A90D-7136C4…)
Terrified that spending time around my mean junkie brother is going to influence me for the worst. He is constantly shouting, making off colour jokes, acting misogynistic and getting mad at video games. I hate how he insists that he's always right and gets super pushy with our mom. He literally does nothing all day except play games, talk on discord, and do adderall. I don't have a choice here, I have to hang out with him.. Please pray for me that his bad attitude doesn't rub off on me. He even swears constantly and it's already changed my mom's speech patterns, and I "code switch" to become foul mouthed when we're together. It sucks… Why can't he be influenced by ME for a change???? Picrel I want to just ignore him and drink tea in my room like Miku is doing
No. 1189626
File: 1653063853429.gif (8.64 KB, 169x73, 991904okccm6u0mu.gif)
>>1189603I hope you get the rest you need anon! For the record, I think you're pretty amazing, I couldn't push myself through that.
No. 1189726
File: 1653068151386.jpg (5.94 KB, 336x150, images.jpg)
>>1189721I seen some free landed some tricks, far I see high time man quit won't let you know when I get going phone ring too long
No. 1189728
File: 1653068397670.jpg (5.03 KB, 225x225, images.jpg)
I'm in a position where I genuinely fear for my life almost everyday. I just hope I can get out soon.
I hate severely mentally ill people. I hate when they don't realize how terrible they are.
No. 1189737
>>1189726Phone ring too long, I'm probably gone
Ringtone jingle my swan song
I'll show you how to leave well enough alone
I'm not this world this on cue world
I fall back, concoct new worlds
I fall out in throbbing swirls
I fall until I stop this world
I fall the fuck off this world
I live down the street from you've noticed me, I've never seen you
Wonder what the fuck I do
Listen up, you nosy bitch, listen close
My most recent purchase, old black rope
Gonna learn how to tie it, hang it in my chamber
Perfect reminder occult I'm made of
No. 1190212
I've wasted these past two years. I am coming to terms with that. I lost them to depression. I did not study (fucked up my academics), I did not go out, I neglected my health. I sat in bed and wanted to die and went for a questionably long amount of time without showering. My hygiene took a hit, developed some skin conditions, and I got a few rotten teeth. However, these pasts months, I've just started coming out of that haze. I get sad and despondent, like now, but it's not permanent. It doesn't drown me like it did. I get hit by bouts of….general awfulness, but it doesn't get pathological like it did. So far, anyways.
However, I can't stop being anxious and fucked up about the time I wasted. I see so many child prodigies in my field and I feel like It's Over For Me. I'm in my third year of uni, and I know it's far from over, but just. I wasted those last two years. And this eighteen year is doing what I want to do. I'm so far behind everyone because I couldn't get up from bed and every day I woke up not dead I was disappointed. Now every time I see a teenager I go automatically "fuck them kids" and feel even shittier about myself because of how behind I am. Logically, I know these kids are 1 in a million (or a thousand), I know it's not over for me, I know that I can at least try to push myself and make it and strive for excellence BUT FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. I am so behind. I probably won't even manage to land an internship this summer. They're going to snicker at my resume and posts it in the lolcow caps thread. At least I hope the nonny reading this is doing great.
No. 1190248
File: 1653079197065.jpeg (3.55 MB, 2700x1840, D714CC92-E947-44A2-8C17-E1B19D…)
I used to enjoy doing my makeup, I was very good at it, intricate shit and all that. The pandemic hit and now I actually get very uncomfortable if I see myself in showier eye looks, I’ve always been pretty gnc but this week seeing myself in a very femme cat eye look, I almost got angry. I just prefer my eyes and face with the absolute minimal makeup these days which is irritating because I still have quite a lot of palettes and singles but I think I look wrong with that shit on, so I guess I’ll just not use them for now. It’s nice that I enjoy my face the most I’ve ever have, just on its own but it’s kinda freaky how uncomfortable I get seeing myself in very femme styles and looks, shit lesbians say or whatever. I still love a bold lip, it’s just the eyes I’m over with.
No. 1190341
>>1190230i feel this
i didn't have a dad either
No. 1190357
>>1190345It's weird to me to even be moved by such inconsequential stuff.
Let me comment on your post you miserable shit. Otherwise just dig a hole and speak to it.
No. 1190358
>>1189728stay safe
nonnie… is there no one you can turn to for help?
No. 1190381
>>1190370Is your identity "cancer patient"?
I bet not. If cancer doesn't define you how does makeup define her?
No. 1190410
Tired of wasting all my money on medical bills. Financial assistance only does so much. My insurance is ass. I'm unemployed and still in school, I'm trying to get internships related to my degree that I'm about to graduate with soon but the job market is DOGSHIT! I hate how employers are so picky for jobs that pay like $10, I haven't even gotten interviews they straight up ignore every application. Everyone wants a personalized coverletter, but even just changing the company title and their purpose takes a lot of effort and time if you add it up. Not to mention every employer making you make an account on their shitty site to even apply, it takes extra time to retype my resume and coverletter. They want interns that have 5 years of experience, what the fuck? No wonder everyone wants to die, and "no one wants to work." If you don't know someone that knows someone, it's over and you're getting ignored. I want to move out because of my drunk father, but I realistically never will because everything is so expensive and employers are assholes that will be reborn as poor so they'll have to actually try to get jobs kek. I would go back to working as a wageslave but I have an injury that has cost me a lot of fucking money in medical bills and it's hard to balance that pain and full-time school. I will probably go back to my old retail job and deal with the pain once I graduate so I get paid while job searching. Good luck everyone, it's hell out here. If anynona read this and relates, I hope you don't get ghosted by an employer/recruiter this time.
No. 1190422
>>1190358It's a possibility but I'm so isolated that it's hard. I'm sorry for being so vague, I honestly get scared to post too much when I vent about this.
>>1190381Stop being so rude, it's so petty to try and police what people can vent about.
No. 1190451
>>1190411Are you really this dense? It's my vent and not yours to get but I didn't get angry
because I wore eyeliner, maybe I got upset because suddenly I don't enjoy the same shit I used to did and being isolated from everyone due to the pandemic and cancer kinda fucked me up and left me wondering what do I enjoy anymore. Dumbass.
No. 1190452
File: 1653086169386.gif (388.37 KB, 245x193, PertinentHarmoniousGeese-size_…)
>>1190425I'm sorry- ty for telling me yours from a bit ago cleared, it makes me feel better. How long did that take? Hope both of our tests come back fine, head in sand is def my default too but can't do it this time.
No. 1190475
File: 1653086687864.jpg (648.79 KB, 2048x1991, de4aqub-4cb199e6-2a0d-46fb-ab6…)
>>1190467HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!!
No. 1190483
File: 1653086778153.jpg (50.23 KB, 640x640, a76a48745cfae49247b428c0e68931…)
thanks nonners. I don't really have friends and I'm pretty depressed
No. 1190490
File: 1653086992119.jpeg (114.41 KB, 992x558, 5A759C3C-2EA8-4B8F-BDC8-AE3882…)
>>1190467Happy birthday BIATCH
No. 1190501
>>1190467Happy birthday,
nonnie!! Have a fantastic week and an even better birthday.
No. 1190512
File: 1653087479969.jpg (61.75 KB, 800x420, hbd.jpg)
>>1190467HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANON!
No. 1190524
File: 1653087942872.gif (1.71 MB, 540x325, tumblr_c569ccfefdcba991007b354…)
>>1190467Happy birthday, nona! ♥
No. 1190526
File: 1653088009615.jpeg (32.1 KB, 500x500, snek.jpeg)
>>1190467Happy birthday anon
No. 1190547
File: 1653088575183.jpg (32.31 KB, 480x480, 1651699285738.jpg)
>>1190467Happy birthday have a little cat kiss!!
No. 1190552
File: 1653088864255.jpeg (122.04 KB, 828x585, 2ACF2D63-5C15-4F85-8193-663E4B…)
Hey it’s that hoe who fucked a Stacy’s Yoon manchild from the previous thread. I’ve come to my senses and realized that changing my hair won’t do anything because he’s a walking red flag and he’s needs serious mental help. But it’s funny how he was telling me after we fucked “oh I’ve never found short hair attractive it’s not my style at all rrrrrr” and then on instagram I find him spam liking a kpop idol’s photos who has short hair. I see the double standard now she has to be KOREAN or at least look like one (currently flirting with some haafu tiktok thot last I heard). I’m not Korean so my point has been proven that as long as she looks like yoon. He’ll go after anyone. Man I wasted my time. I’m hurt and now want to go to a stayc fansign to talk shit about him to Yoon’s face. Not that it matters because she’ll never acknowledge his existence anyways lol there are hotter men out there than him. Living for the day a dating scandal breaks out. I’m disappointed in myself for my standards being so low and I realize I can do better. He was my first time and I know I can’t change that. We were fucking drunk when we fucked so I barely remember anything except it fucking hurt. When i told him afterwards that I didn’t get attached and realized that my crush was just a crush he seemed pissed. Like it felt like he wanted me to worship him. Then he gaslit me in a text message argument. I spent a week hating myself and yoon but she didn’t do anything. I feel bad for her hat she has a fanboy that’s toxic towards women. The main issue is that our school is fucking small and I’ll see him again in August. Hopefully we’ll cool down enough so I can give him his jacket back because right now it’s under my bed.
No. 1190567
>>1190546My mom told me the story of me stumbling upon two people having sex before. I was too young to even remember it but I was in our back yard and they were in the field nextdoor. The layout meant that they were elevated so anyone in our row of houses got a good view of what was happening.
Even if someone is an exhibisionist and really wants to go there… there has to be a better time and place.. like at night in any place where kids don't hang out.
No. 1190581
File: 1653090965147.png (373.32 KB, 360x440, EF62D26E-9DCC-42FB-BD7C-139A4C…)
>in the store today and see dog treats that are in the shape of a bone
Ok that’s normal
>other treat bag is in the shape of cats
Man what the fuck is up with that
No. 1190757
>>1190747Nta, I do think the monkeypox outbreak is interesting. This is the first time there’s ever been a widespread outbreak, and seems like as soon as doctors have started looking for it they’ve been finding it in countries around the world. I’m not
concerned about it, since it’s not that deadly of a disease and it seems to have been spreading undetected for some period of time, but it seems like it may be a new, unusually contagious strain which is interesting. Though the process of getting a smallpox vaccine has always skeeved me out and I hope it doesn’t come to that.
No. 1190973
File: 1653124003552.jpg (108.81 KB, 1024x768, Learned Helplessness What happ…)
School bullying is so fucked up because unlike an abusive job or relationship you couldn't just leave. People say shit like "nobody was bullied at my school!" or wonder why the bullied kids didn't stand up for themselves. Because pic related, it has no effect and if anything they will just make fun of your reaction so it's pointless to try. To them, rumors spread about bullied classmates and the following low social status wasn't bullying, just "Fact". They live and die by social status like a doctrine, and it isn't as nebulous as you'd think. It's very hard to almost impossible to change group opinion of you especially if it's low. I was bullied so badly I had to change schools, it was so bad classmates wouldn't use gym equipment I touched, threw shit at me, snapped my bra strap, fake asked me out, I was literally the class running joke. There is no coming back from that and that can ruin you for life because you begin to subconsciously view all social interactions as surviving an adversary
No. 1190983
>>1190973When I was being bullied, the school called social services on me and had a man come and explain to me that actually
I was the issue, because I was reacting. Never mind the fact that people were throwing pennies at my head, stealing my things, and accusing me of having drugs in my locker.
I was the real problem because I was reacting to these things happening to me when school was supposed to be my escape from my parents beating me. I told the social services guy about my dad's drinking, it slipped out, and he came to our house unannounced. At the time I was sleeping on a deflated air mattress in a one bedroom apartment with both my parents, but the agent totally ignored my living conditions and told my dad that I had an anger problem and that he should consider not drinking
in front of me. As I'm sure you can imagine, having a social service agent coming to our apartment unannounced really pissed of my dad and only made things worse for me. Apparently the agent was also watching me at school, taking tabs on every time I would react to bullies. I had to change schools too, I would take an hour and a half bus each way to and from, waking up at 4am just to go to school in a different city.
No. 1190998
>>1190973I hated that I had to be "the better person" and take the insults without reacting. People saying that shit are just teaching you learned helplessness and the bullies don't actually get punished. I also "loved" that the teachers didn't do shit even when classmates kept calling me dirty, ugly and stupid in their presence, some on them even laughed along. I had rocks and trash thrown at me, everyone refused to talk to me, people wouldn't want to touch my things (like pens, papers or notebooks) either. I couldnt't change schools and ended up graduating there, but it was such a fucked period of my life. My self-esteem died there and I still flinch and get anxious near teenage boys and girls. For the longest time I couldn't look people in the eyes because if I "stared" or looked at someone in school I would get called a whore or a retard for no reason.
I hope you can recover eventually anon.
No. 1191018
>>1190973>>1190983>>1190998I feel for all y'all nonnies, and agree that it really affects your interactions even as a full grown adult.
I went through similar but left school at 15, and home shortly afterwards at 16 when it was still legal to do so, I cut contact with my
abusive parents and got a different friendship group
Honestly looking back, its the teachers who laughed along who make me the angriest.
I still have pretty low self esteem and massive anxiety issues in social situations, had drug issues for years.
I hope you guys manage to find peace and a safe little home to curl up with a book in, thousand kisses.
No. 1191020
File: 1653127262517.gif (4.75 MB, 640x584, rip-juice-cry.gif)
My heart aches for my nonnies
No. 1191021
>>1190973I was bullied my entire life, in school life and in the workplace, I used to be scared to interact with other human beings, If I was unfortunate enough to end up with a
abusive scrote I'd probably stay with him out of fear, but I didn't, I met a truly kind man who helped me overcome my issues, he insisted that I join a martial arts club to help with my self confidence and it did, literally krav maga, bjj and lifting made me a new person, I'm no longer afraid or as meek as I used to be, and belive me a lot of people who go there can relate to you, some people there have always been strong and some like us were weak and wish to become stronger
No. 1191022
>>1190973>There is no coming back from that and that can ruin you for life because you begin to subconsciously view all social interactions as surviving an adversaryAbsolutely this, people are ruthless and not very honest about how much they value reputation and looks, once people decide you don't deserve respect for
any reason they come up with is fucking over for you and nobody will help you, that's why I did my best to enhance my looks and social performance before joining college because I
knew people low-key (and high-key) would give me hell if I didn't. Ugly? Fuck you, introverted? Fuck you, literally just existing? Fuck you, people are scary, and everytime I go out is like surviving a jungle full of social predators, you literally need to be
strategical about it: smile often, be pretty, have confidence, charm and charisma and intelligence but not too much, be perfect and don't display your mental problems nor issues of any kind
No. 1191068
File: 1653134706271.jpeg (151.16 KB, 1124x955, 1613426630215.jpeg)
why do i have to shit at the most inconvenient times?
i'm supposed to have a phone call soon and i feel like i'm not done pooping yet
No. 1191198
Has anyone else watched the "interviews" done by Mark Laita on the channel Soft white Underbelly?
What a fucking creep, the way he talks to homeless women who have been abused and violated and literally trafficked by their own fathers is so fucking condescending, and then he "interviews" pimps and makes jokes with them about keeping women in line. He very much gets off on asking the female addicts about being raped and molested by their family members. You can literally hear his heavy breathing in some of the videos as the women tearfully recount their childhoods while he presses them. I passionately hate this man. Someone pointed out that he seems like an insider to these women and not just some rich white moid stranger with a camera, and I 100% believe he patronizes the desperate prostitutes of Skid Row. Sickening.
Supposedly he goes out there where and the homeless junkies line up for hours for the ~$30 he offers them to tell their darkest stories to be posted with their real names for the world to see on the internet that most of them probably don't have access to (they're that fucking far gone, they aren't "normal" homeless people who have cell phones or anyone outside of that lifestyle.)
Not to mention the inbred Appalachian family, holy fucking shit, how can anyone watch him and think he's doing a service to these people? He's just sucking his own dick trying to flaunt how good of a person he is for even speaking with those people (look at your own risk, nonnies. It's pretty fucking disturbing.)
Supposedly he was supporting this girl financially for a while (got her an apartment to fuck her in basically), her story is pretty tragic, but they all are.
Anons pls forgive me for sperging here and direct me to the appropriate thread if there is one, I couldn't find anything else that felt close enough.
No. 1191227
>>1191198>direct me to the appropriate thread if there is oneI guess here
>>1092460 ?
>>1191218But holy fuck.
No. 1191253
>>1191217>>1191213>>1191198I'm so glad I'm not the only person who gets the creep vibe. His commenters and subreddit suck his dick so hard and refuse to consider that he is anything but some kind of patron fucking saint of the degenerates of Skid Row. Having vulnerable women tell their rape/molestation/abuse/trafficking/kidnapping/beaten by a pimp story for a little bit of money and filming + posting it for the world to see is not something someone who actually gave a fuck about these people would do. It's exploitative and 100% fucking wrong regardless of how you feel about these women's life choices.
On another note, one of the top videos on his channel is a
victim of a gunshot wound to the face. It's #3 most viewed, I think after the drug addicted prostitute he gave 60k of GoFundMe money to because he was sexually attracted to her and the deformed illiterate hillbilly product of generations of incest that can in no way shape or form understand and consent to a fucking interview.
Jesus fucking christ, I really do apologize that for my sperg but the rest of the internet I've seen so far is jerking him off hard and hyping him up for being some kind of revolutionary interviewer. If they're so interested in the rape and abuse stories of homeless women they need to go talk to the junkie women sleeping in the streets or the working 304s and you can hear almost identical fucking histories without contributing to this perverted moid's ego and view count.
No. 1191276
>>1191270See, this is why people theorize he's an "insider" in the area and known by the people he interviews before he even started the channel.
AKA he comes to Skid Row to pick up cheap prostitutes because he has a gross fetish for sick and abused women.
No. 1191337
File: 1653151891328.jpg (21.14 KB, 549x535, e6626eb449222cde8e8155d347e496…)
Guys I think I have to put my fish down… She has a fungal infection and it's getting worse I was treating her with medicine but now she is floating on her side and refusing food. I'm so heartbroken because I can't exactly take her to a vet bc no vets around here treat fish but I don't want to kill her, I feel hopeless in this situation and just want her to pass without pain. I know its not like a dog or cat but I've had her for 5 years since she was a fry this is so upsetting to watch her dying
No. 1191371
>>1189556based
inb4 nnnnooo not my heckin nonneritino nonnana
No. 1191372
>>1191364I just hope you know you're better than every single male on reddit, regardless of how big you are or what race you are. Also, don't go on subreddits or websites that will make you feel bad for being a black woman.
With that being said, instead of posting on the social subreddits, it might be better to stick to the hobby subreddits. I know you said you don't see your hobbies as interesting, but there's subreddits for literally anything and there are people who want to talk about it. And if you post on a hobby subreddit you don't really have to sustain a conversation with anyone, you can reply to posts and make your own posts and still get community interaction without being obligated to keep talking to anyone unless you want to.
No. 1191383
File: 1653153896787.png (1.18 MB, 1280x1467, 1634026228037.png)
>>1189556>I've been here on and off for five yearsMy dear
nonnie nonnatella, it shows, you unfaithful swine.
No. 1191393
>>1191377I can definitely see how LSA might make you feel weird. I like LSA (even though I visit a lot less) because a lot of the topics are easy to relate to, but these sites both offer a different sense of community for me.
Don't feel bad if you're not ready to put yourself out there. It's not an instant thing and tbh it can take months or years to feel ok about talking to people. You have to teach yourself how to see social interaction and the world different, depending on why you find this an issue.
No. 1191396
>>1191393Thank you
nonnie, it feels nice to hear people tell me I don't have to make the change tomorrow.It's just it's been YEARS of nothing. I'm only getting older. But I just have to remind myself to take it slow.
No. 1191424
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it's. too. HOT
No. 1191430
>>1191424i live in the desert, it's 11am and 90 fucking degrees. i feel you
>>1191421i literally blinked and it's almost June. maybe it's schizochan of me to say this but i swear ever since the pandemic something feels totally different about the way time passes.maybe it's just the subconscious trauma or all that's happened jammed into two years, and then adding on modern society's like, information-overload to distract our brains and make things go by faster? that or my ADHD-riddled brain and horrible sense of time is just inexplicably worse than ever
No. 1191463
>>1191435Friend #2 is a friend who moved countries and has come back after a divorce. Hooked up with some new dude and is trying to study over here before she goes back to said country. At first I was excited she was coming back and now I kind of find her insufferable. She is constantly complaining about how this country is shit and how the people are crazy or rude here but everything with her is situational. This new dude she's smitten with is doesn't work and smokes pot all day. I met him a handful of times and he seems okay but he is kind of mousey and barely contributes to the conversation. Friend #2 not only complains about how this place is a shithole but complains about having no money to live on (yet is now spending a lot on pot due to new bf) She lives in her parents rental for barely anything yet complains about it. I tried to help her out with things she might need and she accepted some help but was kind of demanding and weird with furniture. Like she kept hinting at this 2nd tv I had and it was obvious she wanted it and so I gave in and gave it to her. She acted suprised like oh wow, you are giving it to me? I gave it to her and next minute she's saying the picture quality sucks and its broken (to be fair, it's 2nd hand)
She then offers it back because it's too much of a power drainer and she found a better TV anyway.
Then she wanted to borrow stationary for her studies and its like insanely cheap stuff. I said yes and even bought some shit she needed but she made excuses and couldn't pick it up and she ended up buying it anyway. She said she felt bad and wanted to transfer the money for wasting my money but its more the wasting of time I find annoying than the money. I'm not a wealthy person by any means but her constant complaining of the prices of things is really grating. I suggested she or her new bf maybe work part time to help with the stress of living/study and even then she blamed one of her friends for not hooking her up with some job. Anyway now that I'm no use to her, she has gone radio silent. I told her a funny story the other day and she sent back that she was busy studying (which is fine) but I just found it funny that she was non stop messaging when she was looking for furniture/weed/stationary but when I was just telling her something she was kind of dismissive, which again is understandable if you are studying but it just felt off. Like I dont mind when friends apologise for not being in touch but I hate when they do it in a way that makes it sound like you are doing nothing but waiting around for their response. Like I have a life. It's not that deep if you don't answer, it's just the way you make it seem like I'm awaiting an answer. Anyway like I said she's given me the friendship ick because of the entitlement and negativity.
No. 1191514
>>1191509Related to this, I know a woman who did this but I think the man deserved it, sort of.
He was cheating on his wife with a employee of his and when mistress found out he wouldn't divorce his wife, she sued him for sexual assault. He lost his job and his reputation got ruined.
No. 1191536
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bitch i just wanna take a fucking personality test. this is just tumblr girlies hating taylor swift singing about her love life and then a few years later being diehard swifties and pretending they never reblogged every taylor hate post on tumblr ever all over again.
No. 1191559
File: 1653165073260.jpeg (135.37 KB, 600x600, 1632538443137.jpeg)
It's so fucking HOT. I can't do this. We are stuck living in shitty public housing and they deemed fixing the air conditioning here as "non-essential" but we have been asking them to fix it since April. It's over 90 and I don't want to move. I don't want to get up and cook but I am starving. I've never been so cranky before in my life. My cat is getting too hot and she threw up yesterday. It does not help that she's in heat right now. I will sue the ever-living fuck out of these people if anything happens to her because they refuse to do their fucking job, but for now all I can do is wet her and give her cold water. I'm ready to throw hands with every person I encounter because living right now is just sweltering hell. My mother and I are planning to put written complaints and phone calls to the higher ups until they fix this shit or else I'm taking it to the local news (I know it sounds gay but it's been done before and pretty much forced the supervisor to do something about the rat issue that happened before we moved here). Why do people choose to work for housing but then refuse to do their job. We don't want to be here in the first place, but my mother is disabled with two sons and all I can do is help out during the summer while I'm not in school. They don't need to make our lives any harder but God forbid they talk to you without acting like you skinned their dog or some shit.
tldr FIX MY FUCKING AC OR I WILL UNLEASH GILGAMESH THE DESTROYER
No. 1191572
File: 1653166253905.jpg (95.34 KB, 509x339, wfhcat.jpg)
I started a new job last august which was listed as work from home. I was told this would be permanent, but in january the CEO made the decision that he wanted everyone to consider the office as their main place of work. When barely anyone showed up he demanded that from june, we're not allowed to work from home at all anymore.
I suffer from severe migraines and can spend up to two weeks each month dealing with minor nausea to severe pain. Working from home is a blessing. I can nap during lunch hour, wear ice packs, lower the lights and get fresh air at my own pace. Not having to commute also gives me extra time to work out and better my health, further reducing the pains.
I refuse to go back to an office ever again. My life has improved so much since august. I'm ready to quit if they don't let me work remotely. I'm already looking for other jobs and considering the possibility of being my own boss through freelance. Anything to be able to keep the migraines at bay and not have to throw up in an office toilet while my boss wonders why I've been in there for so long, ugh.
No. 1191624
File: 1653168985816.gif (3.08 MB, 320x240, monke.gif)
idk what to do about my friend
>mid 20s neurotic libfem with low self esteem and some kind of [undiagnosed] anxiety disorder
>is interested in vintage fashion, arctic monkeys, wes anderson etc.
>we met during uni and she was a bit anxious but put together
>summer 2021 she gets a job in a tiny village on the countryside where she has 0 friends
>i visit her in may 2022 and she is a shell of her former self
>has gained a ton of weight, house is a mess and her anxiety has gotten worse
>she constantly complains about her troubles and i always listen and try to give her advice
>she puts me on a pedestal and always puts herself down by comparing herself to me so i can't ever talk about my own issues or insecurities
i am quite worried for her and think i am going to suggest that she sees a therapist about her anxiety issues. also, i want to keep our friendship but the fact that she puts me on a pedestal makes me so uncomfortable. she regularly talks about how ugly she is compared to me and i genuinely believe that she thinks that my life is perfect (it obviously isn't like im on lolcow for god's sake kek).
No. 1191628
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I think about suicide so much I might already be dead. I can't even get help for my shit mental health because trying to find a decent therapist in this country is absolutely impossible, and I can't go to the psych ward because I don't want my parents to know how badly I'm doing, and I can't talk to anyone about this because what the fuck are they going to do? Tell me "aw shucks, that's too bad, anon, but it'll get better soon"? I'd either just make them sad or turn one of these superficial relationships I have with people awkward forever by oversharing about such a personal issue.
I'm a waste of space and my infinite neetdom is only getting worse and more embarrassing by the year. I'm already failing university again, I have never had a proper job, and no, I'm not just a little twenty year old that has her entire life before her who's going through a bit of a rough patch. It's been rough patch after rough patch after rough patch for years now, and it's never ending, and the worst fucking part about all of this is that it's all my own fault. Nothing particularly bad has ever happened to me. I'm just worthless trash. I want to die so bad, but I can't even go through with that, but I also have no idea how to go on living like this.
My apartment is forever a mess, I don't have any real friends, my resume is an absolute joke for my age. Just throw me into the garbage already, please.
Sometimes I really wonder whether the universe just decided to come up with the most pathetic sack of shit it possibly could to have something to laugh at, and I ended up being the final product of that after many trials and errors throughout human history.
My parents deserve better than to have such a useless, stupid dumbass of a daughter that's writing melodramatic manifestos how much she wants to die on an anomymous internet forum. Just fuck my life. What a joke I am.
No. 1191761
>>1191651I have a similar problem with my mom, she literally has a bathroom in her bedroom but always uses the other one in the house and
>leaves the toilet seat up>puts wet towels in the clothes hamper >brushes her teeth, spits in the sink and doesn’t rinse it after Drives me nuts
No. 1191767
File: 1653175625300.jpeg (239.98 KB, 999x1554, FSryHFNWUAYKg-9.jpeg)
I'm in a weird situation.
Last year, I had a big crush on a new coworker. We started getting close and she introduced me to her group of friends. I was unsure if I should confess to her, but when she told me she shuts people off when she can't deal with complicated situations, I forced myself to un-crush by distracting myself with some guy. We got pretty close and stayed friends. I have no idea if she had romantic interest in me, but I gave up because I think she's an amazing friend and it's been years since the last time I was this close to someone. Also back then I thought she was straight.
Everything was fine and I kept thinking of her as my best friend, but recently some people asked us if we're girlfriends. I hadn't noticed before, but we do look like a couple when we're together and on the photos we take. It's a recurring joke now between us and last week I even told one of her exes I'm her gf because he was being annoying and we wanted him to leave.
But now I've been thinking that it would be really nice if she was my girlfriend for real. Before I was unsure and things seemed kinda ambiguous, but now I'm sure she isn't interested and only sees me as a friend. I know I decided to give up my confession and staying only friends, but now I can't help but wonder, what if I confessed before and she returned my feelings? I'm trying to avoid these thoughts, but it's hard, it's like I lost something that could have been.
We took a group photo today and we're in the middle, standing close. We look so good together…
I'll go try to find some distraction now. I shouldn't be thinking about this too much. We can't be more than friends now and I don't want to hurt myself.
No. 1191772
>>1191767This is so cute,
nonny. I hope you two end up together and happy.
No. 1191885
My mom really is my biggest hater. We went out to eat today, and I got some chicken bites (one of the cheapest things on the menu) since I know they don’t want to pay more than probably $20 even though they say they’re gonna treat us. I just knew she wanted to cheap out on me, and if I got something expensive, she’ll bitch out at me. I got these bites, and she still bitches at me when I got full halfway through the plate. She bitched at me like why I didn’t get something else, something they specialize in. Fucking hell. I really can’t win with her. Then, she compares the cake she bought vs my own cake that I Bought, and she hates on that shit too. She even bitched at me at the restaurant about my photo taking skills. Like, if you want it to be your way so bad, just take the fucking photos yourself. She even went down to criticize my looks like “oh you’re so fucking ugly, no guys looked at you at the restaurant.” Like who THE FUCK CARES!?!!! I’m there to fucking eat, the same thing goes with every other person at that fucking restaurant too. Like no one is gonna look for someone to date there at that random ass place. There’s places that people go to look for other people. And even if no one looked at me because I was ugly, who the FUCK cares??? Why can’t she just fucking enjoy her time, without judging other people? Shit like this is why I never go out with my family. All they do is hate and bitch at me. Then, when I lashed out at her at the restaurant, she starts acting like a fucking victim even though she’s the bitch that was provoking me this whole fucking time that I was there. I just wanted to die the whole time I was there.
No. 1191928
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I'm so tired of having sleep paralysis, y'all. It's so terrifying, but I refuse to practice good sleep hygiene so it keeps happening.
No. 1191972
File: 1653195428312.jpeg (24.74 KB, 563x353, 6542F17D-F803-4C50-80DB-C569DE…)
Sometimes I wish I could travel into my memories and relive them. I miss my old best friend so much. Life is horrible now and all I want is her. It’s been 3 years since we last spoken and I just wish I could hear her voice again. I wish I knew what I did.
No. 1192108
My roommate is a NEET who on purpose gave herself a car accident (despite that it was still a minor one), she’s received her first portion of compensation from the real victim’s insurance, around thousands (don’t argue this with me, I live with this oversharing creature long enough to be able to conclude it. She literally believes she’s above the traffic rules…and anything. Because she’s narcissistic, but literally). And now the second portion suddenly came, after weeks of manipulating me and crying to me she’s no money. I’m her roommate not her therapist ffs. First portion she gave it out on drugs and food and plastic crap, that was before i moved in, but it seems that she’s doing the same thing again. Honestly, I want her out, because she’s been having ENOUGH energy to be very abusive to me. She’s threatened to beat me up (supposedly she still needs to revalidate from the “accident” though?).
The worst thing is, that creature thing that unfortunately is a woman, really influenced my empathy. I’m supposed to pity her, but because of the way she’s treated me, ruined my every day, and annoyed me so much, I honestly hope she goes again “bankrupt”, just so she can’t afford the rent anymore. She actually has plans to want to receive even more money, and buy the house I’m in, to kick me out. She literally said this. I feel sick.
(Reddit space) will she be poor again and live with her dad for good, like all proper NEETs should? The entire goddamn house smells like mildew and weed.
No. 1192120
File: 1653209320832.png (151.42 KB, 387x257, DYKWYCA.png)
Why the fuck did the they have to take away sodium nitrate
Why the fuck did they have to make heroin and all the good OD drugs illegal
Why the fuck am I too much of a coward to hang myself.
I try and I try, every time I press down survival instincts kick in. I really don't know how people do it.
No. 1192122
>>1192120>sodium nitratedid you mean monosodium glutamate?
you can buy some from asian supermarkets
No. 1192150
Anyone else feel mentally and spiritually homeless? Like you can't quite fit anywhere and your thoughts are rarely at peace. I've become so unbelievably disillusioned with this world, it's like I'm almost constantly on the doorstep outside of the earth and I'm never certain whether to enter it or not. Both options leave so bitter and lonely. I just don't feel at home on this planet i guess. I haven't for a very long time.
>>1191972Man I relate so bad. I wish I could see or just talk to my ex again. Even after we broke up we still remained friends and we caught up every now and then, but I literally can't remember the last time we spoke. I wanna know how she's doing but I know a stupid part of me will feel immense jealousy over her living her life better than me and feeling happier lol. How pathetic is that
No. 1192178
>>1192120You need some antiemetic, though, and not over the counter ones. You will vomit everything otherwise.
It's a good thing to live in Poland though, you can get Sodium Nitrate no problem. I have also earlier got metoclopramidum and valium for something else, so I could successfully pull off a suicide. At the moment I'm not decided on it, so the sodium nitrate is sitting in the box it was sent in… it's good to have it as an option, though. I wish the antiemetic wasn't close to a best-use-before date, but apparently they are fake bs and medication can be used past it.
No. 1192182
File: 1653215001106.gif (4.75 MB, 640x640, devil-chihuahua.gif)
if i don't get this avenged sevenfold t-shirt on ebay i am going to be ANGRY. it's been up a week and there's only one other bid on it but i know some people love to snipe and bid last minute, i've already put mine in so it should be automatic but i will be so disappointed if i don't get it kek. i haven't even seen the style of t-shirt anywhere else, so it's like one of a kind.
the person selling it is just someone's mum who is probably clearing out some wardrobes so she's put it very cheap. lolcor gods please let me get this t-shirt or else i will fart so loud
No. 1192249
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Working on a recruitment task for pre-employment assessment; I was very excited to potentially work for this company when I applied and this shit makes me lose all interest because it's just SO MUCH for no reason, easily 2-3 days of full time work. They could easily assess candidate's skill with 1/4 as much, so it feels like desperation test more so. I don't want to be unprofessional and burn any bridge so I'll finish it, but I'm also not desperate and if they already have zero respect for my time in recruitment process, I bet they will have none when I work for them either.
No. 1192327
File: 1653229208630.gif (2.27 MB, 800x535, 1788cd_75db512e7dc7404e8f13eaa…)
>>1192182A friend of mine is the only biggest fan of this band, are you Slavic by any chance… Even if you are not, thank you for reminding me of her. I barely speak to her for awhile now since I had to do huge life changes and got busy with my own stuff. I hope I will catch up to her soon.
No. 1192416
File: 1653234407145.jpg (36.71 KB, 631x588, E9VxlsEX0AE9vtW.jpg)
>first case of monkeypox in my city
please god, not another pandemic. i can't do this anymore.
No. 1192421
File: 1653234774379.png (920.62 KB, 984x900, 1651651762180.png)
>>1191419i feel exactly the same way
No. 1192427
File: 1653235128669.png (43 KB, 751x261, evil.png)
>>1191822nonnie why did you send me down this rabbit hole
No. 1192430
>>1192416if it makes you feel better, monkeypox isn't a new virus like covid is, it's been around for a really, really long time so we have a better idea how to treat it
that said, the bumps it causes on skin are SO fucking gross if it becomes common/pandemic im going to become a hermit in the middle of the woods eating bugs and leaves stg
No. 1192439
File: 1653235707274.jpeg (299.82 KB, 1059x1311, 56674F15-C2CB-4455-898C-06BE01…)
>>1192416Maybe there’s going to be a new pandemic every two years or so.
No. 1192496
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I feel like I totally wasted my mid 20s. After I graduated college at 23 I moved to a boring mid-sized city where i didnt know anyone and started working a demanding corporate job, thinking that the financial stability would make me happy. That was almost 5 years ago. The financial stability did not make me happy. If anything, I now feel tied to this place because of all the possessions I now own from my depression-shopping habit. I still dont have any friends in my city because work is exhausting enough that i want to spend my free time recharging. I have begun to really hate my job over the past two years, & the other job listings in my field don't look like obviously better situations. I think I need to change my career which feels very fucking exhausting
>>1192249This bullshit happens a lot, especially in design & tech fields. Depending on the job you're in the market for you could consider doing a simpler / pared-down version of the task they gave you, that still demonstrates your competence and frame it as like "Here's a demonstration of my process. If I were working for you, I would be able to flesh out x, y & z more thoroughly" and if they point blank ask why the assignment isn't everything they asked for you can just be honest and say "I hope you can understand that my time is currently limited for xyz reason; I hope this project still gives you an acceptable overview of my capabilities."
No. 1192541
File: 1653241357030.jpeg (17.11 KB, 275x155, B2754917-98AC-4808-AA0D-F49A7F…)
Nothing worse than a fucking migraine
No. 1192582
File: 1653243391526.jpg (69.9 KB, 1079x1084, 9b9b06347247c23b38e56a41c4577a…)
Ok so I had the very first sexual make out session in my life, before that we were only cuddling and it never became more sexual than me humping his thigh. Today I was very turned on and I started toching his penis through the material of his boxers, I wasn't very good at it but he liked it and I wanted to make him come, but after a couple of attempts he said it's hard for him with the boxers on and he asked if he can take them off and if I want to actually touch it, he said I can just stop if I wouldn't like it. So I touched it without even looking at it, and I got so weirded out and grossed out that my arousal dropped immediately, but I didn't want to say it because I didn't want to hurt him. I stopped touching him and I just said I wasn't ready. Dicks are so fucking gross, but I don't get why they're so gross to me. I'm not gay and I wasn't sexually assualted in the past. When I saw dicks in porn, back then when I was still watching it, I've always been grossed out and I wondered, if that feeling would change if I could actually touch a dick attached to someone I liked. And now I know it does not change. It's even worse now. I don't know what to do, the veiny sausage-y feeling is just too much for me. I feel gross just by thinking about this fucking thing. Why is something so gross attached to cute guys? I think I'm gonna die a virgin because I can't imagine touching it and letting it inside me. He said he loves me and he would wait years for me to be ready for something more if I'm not ready now, but I doubt I will ever be ready for this
No. 1192600
>>1192513How much od you weigh
And who do you support in the legendary case depp or heard
No. 1192615
>>1192600Way more then I want to admit but less than the deathfats.
and rather then supporting Heard I just wanna see Depp go down.
No. 1192624
>>1192496Anon, is there anything else you'd like to do for work? Any side hobbies? Maybe move somewhere else? You could always sell your stuff on eBay/donate them, and keep the stuff that are being used on a regular basis. I'm with you on the changing career thing; you already hate it, and you already know how it's going to pan out over the next years – you get this promotion, you get x salary, you buy x items, you buy x house, but you're still not satisfied. Changing your career might seem like a lot of work but tons of people do it everyday - I've heard of female engineers turning to dance instructors, architects becoming full-time artists and graphic designers, tech guys leaving their jobs to import coffee and oil from Africa to Europe for a living. Dentists becoming teachers, doctors working in marketing.
Is there any thing else that you've thought about doing for a living in the past?
>>1192551> now i really wish i majored in something i fucking enjoyAnon, I think it's fine. I see people on all sides of the coin everyday: art majors who wish they did something practical, Something Practical majors who wish they could open up a booth in a beach town and shitpost and build stuff all day. I'm guessing you majored in something practical; so think of this way: you get to finance your Something Not Practical, and now you could squeeze your way in and do something you enjoy. What's stopping you from earning a living doing something you like?
No. 1192713
File: 1653250491998.jpeg (51.18 KB, 702x499, A341AAF0-C759-4B20-8270-BA949E…)
>>1191977I'm trying but I don't want to. Everyday is more and more hopeless. I cried in front of a family member, spilled my guts about my mental struggles, and they showedcased no willingness to help or even emotionally react to me. To think part of the reason why I want to kms is my own family. Why did I tell them anything. And my friends neglect me, they can't convince me I can be whole again. I just want to die, but I'm too cowardly to take the L or find a purpose to live
I've been worse and worse the past 2 years and I'm convinced it's my destiny to die or else my health won't let me make it to 30
No. 1192737
>>1192604Pure luck, we were housemates
>>1192709He said that porn sucks before even knowing my opinion about it, and he said he watches it very rarely and he prefers to masturbate with his fantasies only, and when I asked how often he masturbates it turned out it's similar to the way I do it; weeks without anything and then 2 or 3 days when he does it a few times per day. He works out and has a physical active job so maybe that energy goes somewhere kek. I hope he doesn't lie to me…