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No. 550137
thread #1
>>56468thread #2
>>199767thread #3
>>333126thread #4
>>418500talk about your gender preferences, how you discovered you were bi, what's your type in men and women, how you feel in the community, any struggles you've had with bisexuality, etc. Ignore and report baiters.
If you're unsure if you're bisexual, the questioning thread is likely a better fit.
No. 550245
>>550152>even though i feel like i need the entire day off to masturbateI think there are theories about hormones peaking in the morning or something. I feel the same way
>(I love tiny men)>collaged with being squirted on>stacked ass-out>I feel like a lowly AnimalJust wanted to say I Love You
No. 550448
File: 1747057587613.jpeg (2.8 MB, 3024x4032, IMG_6041.jpeg)
I’m really depressed. I’ve only ever fallen for one woman, but it was the most passionate feelings I’ve ever experienced (it didn’t work out, it was very one-sided). I desperately want to experience feelings like that again, but just like before her, I’m not attracted to any women in my daily life, rarely do I even see a picture of a woman I feel any inkling of attraction towards. I am attracted to men in my daily life, but I don’t really like men as people and while my sexual and romantic feelings for them are nice, and I used to be satisfied with that, my feelings for men are not nearly as intense and exhilarating at it was when I fell for that one woman. I’m almost 30, and I’m terrified I will never fall in love with a woman and get to experience those feelings again. It’s pathetic, but she’s still the only person I masturbate about because like I said, nothing compares.
The experience has awakened a horny demon inside of me though and now I’m at the point where l kind of want to put myself out there and find SSA spaces just to see if maybe I can find another woman I’m attracted to. But I am held back from doing it because I genuinely feel no attraction to most other women and I feel like people would detect that and think I’m some larper. And also I get extremely embarrassed around SSA women and especially feel embarrassed acknowledging I am one. So it just feels impossible. But I want to find another female crush so bad, she doesn’t even have to like me back, I just want to fall in love again. I don’t know what to do.
No. 555263
I don't believe in most ovulation "symptoms" going viral atm but i'm always fantasizing about women when i ovulate, from sex to having a baby together in a cozy country home… that pre-period phase where i get extremely horny is more of a 50/50 split… what is going on here
>>554874>unpopular opinionMost bi women agree with you lel
No. 555533
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i think i'm finally over my ex. i've been stuck pining for her for the 2 years we've been broken up, but i got the chance to catch up with her recently and in those 2 years she went full tif (on t) and tra (the "trans people are on stage 9 of genocide" kind) and has gone down the kink rabbithole. it left me kind of shocked but it's also allowed me to move on from any left over feelings and fantasies i had. she isn't the girl i was in love with anymore and i can't change her at this point. i miss her and always will but it's over and i am at peace with it.
i'm free nonnas…
No. 555785
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Why do I only attract bisexual mexican men? I have a strong preference for women and have only dated women but everytime I make new friends or have started a new job I end up dealing with a bisexual guy specifically from mexico. I'm not even latina. This has happened 4 different times with completely unrelated peopl
No. 557562
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>lesfem friend that constantly posts about hating bihets and straight women describing them as "dickmatised" drops off the radar for a bit
>message her on Tumblr to see how she's doing
>answers four months later
>she's bisexual
>she's dating a man
This isn't the first or second time. They usually have no problem with me because I'm dating a woman, but they're always the kind to be really vicious about bisexual women until they finally come out themselves. Why does it keep happening? Am I the only one that's had this happen to friends?
No. 557595
>>557562>lesfemLesbian Feminist is an euphemism for political lesbian nona. This one's tricky because it can mean "i'm a feminist and gay" but a lot of the time it's the other name for polilez. Dogwhistling is a meme but this kind of feminist uses dogwhistles all the time because they don't want to be confronted
>seething about bisexualsAlso a red flag if it's really exaggerated and not based in any concrete grief, like emotional mistreatment. They're either mad that they're bi or jealous of SSA women
No. 557612
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>>557562Holy shit kek they make these women in a factory I swear. I can't count how many times lesfems have done this, it's why I can never take their bihetseething seriously, it's always a case of "the lady doth protest too much."
No. 558998
>>558922I get you nonnington. I have only felt that deep, heart shattering chemistry with women, their bodies excite me, whereas with men it's not so easy (i even had to try hard at first!) - and yet having had even one instance of attraction to men, I can say I'm a bi. I guess people who are kinsey 5 prefer to adopt the lesbian label (which they shouldn't as it hurts the lesbian community) for political or 'angryatexbf' reasons- but then I guess baby fever kicks in, or internalised male gaze. For me, I chose to date a man because I want a family one day and don't want to deprive them of a father, even though I have only had the silly romantic butterflies and gripping lust with women (my p word literally spasms for girls lol)
>secretly will want to marry/date menYou ever heard the idea that it's assumed, if a guy is bi, he's gay, and if a woman is bi, she prefers men? I think loving men is just seen as the default.
>it doesn't mean they want men nowexactly! Just because you're only into women at the moment, if you're bi, that could change! Hence bicycling! But then a bi girl in the homo cycle claims 'lesbian' and severely discredits lesbians when that changes
If you want to date women by decided, deliberate preference, and just have a strong leaning towards women, I think you can say you're a homosexual leaning bisexual. People don't really know about the kinsey scale. Hopefully that helps people understand you.
No. 559124
>>558998>For me, I chose to date a man because I want a family one day and don't want to deprive them of a fatherI don't get this, fathers aren't that present in a kid's life… out of all the reasons to pick men the family-related ones make the least sense. But it might be a symbolic thing i don't grasp
>>558922> If someone’s had real attraction or experiences with men, they’re probably just bisexual.Attraction yes, experience isn't all that meaningful. So many straight women experiment and they're still straight.
>Is it just me or are Kinsey 5 bisexual women literally invisible?Oh yeah. They just go on to call themselves lesbians and it works because they pretty much appear gay to people who don't know. Though i've seen some women explain they had one or two male exes but prefer women. Being honest is good but i understand why someone who boil it down to lesbian for convenience. Problem is, as
>>558998 said it's not true and you run of risk of looking like a fool and making others look like fools if you feel like sleeping with a guy once in a blue moon
No. 561244
>>561229Ayrt I know
nonnie that's why I said "I can never take their bihetseething seriously" and "the lady doth protest too much" because it's like "when are they going to stop denying their reality behind the lesfem label?"
No. 563507
I love women so much but I have serious self esteem and mommy issues. My mom was an overachieving
STEM professional who bought her own house, cars, etc but I lost her early into adult life and my dad died when I was like 5.
Like even with a """high value""" man kek, I will still be a loving, generous partner because it's just my nature to dote on my loved ones, but there's always some amount of disconnect and mental distance and performance. With women, I can just be myself. Or at least I want to be. The best version of myself obviously, but it doesn't feel like it's enough. I'm definitely not well off financially and while I have knowledge and talents that aren't necessarily financially lucrative, I don't know how I could be seen as a good potential partner to another woman, especially in my 30s. I am constantly trying to improve my life and circumstances and better myself for my own sake, but I see a beautiful woman and I feel profoundly sad that I can't be the partner she deserves and I will never be good enough and I will never know love unless I fundamentally fix my life. And even then, would women want me?
Going through life alone is still on hard mode, even if men end up sucking the life out of you eventually. Moids don't hold themselves to any standards but yet feel entitled to a gorgeous bangmaid. I don't care to impress them if I know they're attracted to me, I just go with the flow. They always end up disappointing me. I hate them. I need therapy.
No. 563525
>>563356samefag you responded to, my only relationship with a woman beyond dating (still only less than 6 months) she transitioned after. I'm a very bubbly stereotypically feminine looking woman and I think I get written off as 'bi to be edgy' all the time.
>>563507Women admire self-improvement much more than men do. Be open about your goals and ambitions when you're dating, other women will want to support and nurture you just like you do to your partners.
No. 564135
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I suffer from extreme anger and jealousy towards straight couples. I have had friends in same-sex relationships and that has never really bothered me, but I almost can’t even be friends with a woman if she has a boyfriend because it just makes me angry. I’m assuming the anger is due in part to jealousy of some kind. I struggle to even identify why I get so ridiculously angry. I’ve felt this way my whole life, when my friends started getting BFs in high school I struggled to mask my anger about it. But if you were to ask me if I want a boyfriend, my answer would be “no, I don’t want a boyfriend.” So why am I jealous? I started to think I might be jealous of the moid and not the woman. But I think it’s somehow both, jealousy’s towards both parties. It’s like I’m jealous of the entire dynamic even though I don’t want a boyfriend. I am usually pretty self-perceptive so I don’t know why I can’t figure this out. But I am almost 30 now, I can’t keep having the angry teenager emotions, it feels (and is) ridiculous. But I don’t know how to stop the anger and jealousy because I can’t even identify what the actual source is. I want to be able to feel normally about straight couples so bad. It’s getting worse now that I’m at the age where my peers are having kids. I am never more jealous than when a man has a pregnant wife. But maybe that’s a different jealousy than the anger I’m even talking about. I’m a mess. Basically I think I’m just a very jealous person and my internal life is extremely unpleasant due to this. Please throw any ideas you have at me (reasons, ways to cure this, etc) because it’s really painful living this way.
No. 564147
>>563507I relate. The woman i'm crushing on is perfect and i could easily see us having a modest but happy family, but i feel very behind people my age in terms of professional achievements. Loving her motivates me to get better so i can be a worthy and dependable gf/wife but i'm worried i won't catch up in time for it to happen at a reasonable age. I know she's somewhat interested (at least i can guess from a couple cues) but i don't know if she'd laugh when i admit it's my dream to raise a baby with her
>I will never be good enough and I will never know love unless I fundamentally fix my lifeIsn't this a vicious cycle? If you don't have anything to look forward to (something like love) you won't necessarily have the motivation to try harder. You shouldn't keep yourself out of a dating chance because you feel inadequate. Moving to be with her, discovering a new job, so many things can happen with a new couple
No. 564551
>>564135my guess is trust issues? like you resent that your friends could trust men enough to get a boyfriend, then those women could trust men enough to get pregnant. I usually think of anger as a protective emotion so my guess is you feel like you're protecting yourself from men (and there's
valid reasons to feel that way) and you're jealous those women don't have to. Possibly some jealousy towards men that men can experience support & care from women but don't tend to return the same support & care to women.
No. 564940
>>564866This. I don't have friends who I can hang out in groups anymore because of schedule so I'm mainly speaking from teenage experience but having the ugly Nigel awkwardly sit there ruins the entire mood, vibe, and group dynamic. You can't tell her anything, or chat about anything deeper than the weather because the scrote is listening. 90% of the time he clearly thinks you and the rest of her female friends are annoying and retarded girls and is just there as a guard dog to keep an eye on his girlfriend. Less firsthand experience but she'll always insist on bringing him along and ask him for his opinion on everything.
>Oh, you like waffles? I like waffles too turns around what do you think, Nigel? >Nigel: Um… yeah. Sure. And then she goes to the bathroom and then her Nigel will often give you a dirty look for god knows what
No. 565866
>>565621Ohhh i see, yeah
>>565497Same kek. Funnily enough it reduced my attraction to her, it felt like she was just into a novel experience. I was kind of flattered but unfortunately i can't not take flirting seriously, like even if it's just a fling it's horrible to sense you're being treated as an ego boost/check on a to-do list. It's like they project het dynamics ("he'll be happy anyways because he's down bad for sex and i'm doing him a favor") and it doesn't work..? Since we're both women
No. 566135
>>566030>No reason to come here specifically unless you don't want to be in the lesbian threadeh, I'm a woman-leaning bi, but I still feel like lesbians should have their own space. I can just talk about my SSA here.
>>566041Yep. Though the gold star one seems to be barely active, and last time I checked they were just bivestigating lmao
No. 566470
>>566446>But anyone would be hurt and depressed if their partner wasn’t satisfied with them and wanted to have sex with someone of a different sex. Most moids wouldn't really care that you also desired women because it doesn't make them feel cucked. Some lesbians wouldn't like it but most bi women wouldn't mind since they can relate to liking men too anyway. Besides, even monosexuals fantasize about people other than their partner sometimes.
Again if you are living without sex anyway, why is it such an issue if you can only have sex with a man or a woman forever instead of both? If you found a partner who didn't care, is it really a personal tragedy for you if you're limited to only one sex? I think you're just making up imaginary problems for yourself to justify not putting yourself out there.
No. 566581
>>566553>being bisexual doesn’t mean you're never satisfied unless you have access to both sexesYeah I agree it doesn’t have to mean that, but the term “bisexual” covers people with a huge range of sexual preferences that can be very different from one another, and I’m saying, for me, that’s what my personal bisexual sexuality is like. It’s straight up retarded for you to suggest it sounds like I’m “gearing up to cheat” when this entire discussion was started by me stating I don’t date because I don’t want to make a partner feel bad in any way.
I can’t tell from your wording if you’re bisexual or just a lurking bi hater, it’s dumb to try to police what bisexual people are allowed to say based on how it makes “bisexuals look” because again, “bisexual” covers a huge range of people, from women who highly prefer men to men who highly prefer trannies to people who bicycle severely to people who have an unchanging even 50/50 split— all of these people are called bisexual for convenience but they’re all clearly very different in their sexualities. Just because other people don’t get that there’s huge variety under the bisexual label doesn’t mean I’m going to never talk about my own experiences.
No. 566604
>>566135>but i feel like lesbians should have their own spaceAYRT, same, kek i forgot but that's what i meant, it's weird to hang out there when you know you're not gay gay
>>566255>I would do literally anything to wake up and be either straight or gayWell the vast majority of bisexuals have a preference, but you need to actually date people to figure it out. Worrying in your corner won't solve anything. Honestly it feels like you're scared of intimacy and blaming it on your bisexuality when it's irrelevant. The excuse of not wanting to hurt anyone is implausible, unless you're dangling it in front of them it won't hurt them. I've been in this position (making someone uneasy because of my bisexuality) and it sucks, but you make it up by actually committing and staying loyal, then their anxiety dissipates. You can also be upfront, ime lesbians react badly to bisexuality because of experiences where a bi ex would swear up and down that she's "done with men" only to dump them for a man (or worse, an ex). If you're honest about your inexperience and don't make someone enter a relationship on a false pretense it should be fine
>from women who highly prefer men to men who highly prefer trannies to people who bicycle severely to people who have an unchanging even 50/50 split— all of these people are called bisexual for convenience but they’re all clearly very different in their sexualitiesTrue true
>>566593If the person has enough awareness of your bisexuality it can make them anxious. Then there's the issue of bi women not really taking lesbian relationships seriously, i've definitely heard that often. I think AYRT is scared of being that person but flings are an option and dating as a young adult is how you figure out what you like in the first place
No. 566608
>>566581okay, but you’re misunderstanding what i actually took issue with. you can say “this is just my experience” all you want, but you literally said you can’t be in a relationship because you’d “always be missing something” unless you had both sexes. that’s not just a personal quirk—that’s framing bisexuality itself as inherently unsatisfying or broken. you made it about the label, and now you’re upset someone responded to that framing.
i’m also bisexual. i lean toward women, but that doesn’t change anything—i like who i like. i’ve only dated a woman, but i’ve had attraction and crushes on both sexes. so yeah, i’m bi. obviously bisexuality shows up differently in different people—i know that. i literally seek out other bisexual women with similar preferences, because we’re so vast. but i’ve never once felt like i’m “missing” something when i’m with someone i genuinely love. attraction doesn’t mean you’re owed fulfillment on all sides. the idea that being bi means you’ll always feel deprived unless you act on “both” isn’t bisexuality—that’s poor emotional regulation. if you can’t commit, that’s your issue. it’s not a trait of the orientation. and yeah, that sounds more like emotional or sexual struggles, which is
valid—but name it honestly.
you said you don’t date because you don’t want to hurt anyone. okay, fair. but saying “i would never be satisfied with just one sex” still feeds one of the most harmful stereotypes about bi people—that we’re inherently unstable, unfaithful, or incapable of commitment. and other bi people—especially those who’ve had to deal with that stigma—have every right to push back. not everything someone says about themselves is immune to critique just because it’s painful. that’s not hate. that’s accountability.
No. 566670
>>566608>but saying “i would never be satisfied with just one sex” still feeds one of the most harmful stereotypes about bi people—that we’re inherently unstable, unfaithful, or incapable of commitment.I get that you’re mad that I’m talking about my experience because it partly aligns with a stereotype, but I’m not going to lie and keep silent to make you or other people feel better? Your post sounds like a tumblr essay about how my experience is ~
problematic~ but I don’t know what to tell you, everything I said is 100% my honest personal struggles and I’m not going to censor my honest experience just because it’s not exactly what you want to hear. I’ve given ample caveats that I don’t speak for all bisexual people, I’ve said that that we’re all very different, and I’ve made it clear I’m not interested in entering a relationship and would never cheat because I care about people. So at this point, it’s your problem if you want to clutch pearls and futilely try to convince me to lie, because not going to.
No. 566933
>>566670no one told you to lie or to shut up lmao. i wrote an entire essay, yet you’re still too retarded and self-pitying to get the point. your emotional hangups aren’t bisexuality—they’re just your own baggage. but yeah sure, whine about being misunderstood all day, and how it’s just how your ~
valid~ , unique expression of your orientation that’s the problem… surely it couldn’t be something else.
No. 566990
>>566897I used to think that this was genuine and came from women who don't like super intense relationships because of the hurt that comes with it. I still think it's true for some. But let's be real most people who say this think women aren't worth the hassle because they're not that into them. When i heard this phrase from a spicy gay moid (some bi guy who really seemed gay and mostly dated men) i clocked that it was how male-leaning bis experience attraction to women. Something fun but if it gets real and difficult it's intolerable and they withdraw
>don’t actually like sexually women tbhOh they probably like them sexually, as a treat, but anything beyond that is off limits. They're self conscious about how it comes across
No. 567056
>>567052People have asked sincere questions and gave advice, and you have mostly ignored them to sperg at the one anon who made you feel invalidated.
I’ll be honest I have no idea what your problem is. If it’s that you think others would be hurt by it, several people already told you that isn’t going to be an issue with everyone. If, even if the other person totally accepted you, you would genuinely be so miserable in a relationship with one person because you couldn’t have sex with either men or women… why though? Especially when you’re choosing to not have sex with anyone instead.
No. 567057
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Am I even really bisexual when my vision of lesbian sex is so deeply influenced by the male gaze? Despite the fact that I quit porn nearly a decade ago mind you. Yeah I'm attracted to women, I want to have sex with them and I'm seduced easily by them, but attraction to males will always feel more intuitive and being with men will always seem less scary. I never had sex, but when I imagine sex with women, I'm always doubting my sexuality, fearing that I'm not pretty enough to fuck a pretty woman, etc. I can't even fantasize about it in peace. As a child I had a weird fear that I would "turn out attracted to women" and when I started to feel things for them in my teens, it took a while for me to accept. Everything about it is fucking political, a debate subject, a test. I wouldn't feel this way if same-sex attraction was normalized, or if teenage me was never exposed to porn, or if pseudo-feminists would stfu about "bihets". It's exhausting. At this point I might as well settle down with a man and label myself as straight and try to supress my attraction to women from now on. And to fucking think some straight girls kiss girls when drunk like it's a joke, if you can even call that shit a kiss with how cold and reluctant it is… Fuck. Sorry for sperging but what a nightmare…
No. 567096
>>567057>fearing that I'm not pretty enough to fuck a pretty womanIs this why you think your bisexuality is "male gazey"? Is it just a worry about how attractive you are to other women (that's normal!) or about matching certain beauty standards? Do you feel like your own voyeur? I feel like if you do then yes, that would be one of the rare instances where male gaze is correctly used. I wish i had better advice but you shouldn't beat yourself up, instead you should act on whatever attractions you have and see if it helps.
>or if pseudo-feminists would stfu about "bihets"Self-hating bis and purity police types like to sperg about this, but it's mostly a legit concern. Imagine if heterosexual women's dating pool was mostly comprised of men who would rather commit to other men most of the time, we'd never hear the end of it. Plus it's just true, bihets exist, they're the majority.
>At this point I might as well settle down with a man and label myself as straightIf you feel like it reflects your current reality, why not. Not as a repressive thing but as an acknowledgment you prefer men.
>>567089Yup, sometimes they even spell it out clearly so there's no mystery left
No. 567123
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>>567063My bad, I'll answer these and then drop it.
>>567087>Then why project that scenario onto yourself? Honestly, I have no idea. I suppose I treat myself differently than I treat others, maybe some anons itt relate
>>567096>Do you feel like your own voyeur?Yes, no matter what I do, but especially when it comes to imagining myself having sex and fantasizing. With men it's often "is this too self-degrading? Is it internalized misogyny?" and with women it's "is it hot enough or too porny? Why do I act anxious like my fantasy has an audience?"
>Plus it's just true, bihets exist, they're the majority.I always thought bihets were a minority. I understand why lesbians hate them, it must be hard to deal with them in an already small dating pool…
>as an acknowledgment you prefer menI heard that it's possible to have preferences as a bisexual, and for said preferences to fluctuate even. The whole "sexuality is fluid" Kinsey scale bs isn't true but bisexuality itself is fluid. Maybe I'm just more male-leaning?
oh god, am i a bihet?! No. 567152
>>567114That's so true!
>>567123I guess it's not exactly being your own voyeur (in the conventional self objectifying sense), but you have internalized a lot of shame and scrutiny of female sexuality. These worries are pretty common among SSA women
and het women because so much weight is placed on women's sexuality. It's hard to let go but i hope you learn to stop ruminating, thinking in circles will never ever solve this. You have to keep telling yourself "i don't care" when you feel like you're slipping in one of these loops and go about your life.
>oh god, am i a bihet?!That's totally fine kek, maybe wait until your 30s until declaring yourself to be same or opposite sex leaning? These things can change
No. 567302
File: 1748739776605.png (858.63 KB, 711x875, image.png)
in chicago every end of the month there's a "sapphic saturday"
i've never gone
No. 567316
>>567314nta but literally same. and similarly, before a time where all masc women are chopping their boobs off and getting frog voices and pube staches. Went to a craft fair today and every single masc woman booth owner was frog voiced and titless. Basically the entire dating pool of masculine women for my age group is permanently fucked. It feels so hopeless, like, it's over-over for my entire generation.
Sometimes I legit wish i could move to another country where the TIFism is TIMism hasn't completely taken over SSA women spaces and find a cute normal masc girlfriend my age. But i'm just a administrative worker so I would never be able to get a job abroad. Literally suicide fuel.
No. 567317
>>567302I wish i had a
terf gf to go out to a bar with and we'd could neg all these troons into being truly suicidal
No. 567318
File: 1748741953630.png (241.91 KB, 1336x352, leasebound.png)
>>567302literally looks like one of the agp characters from a
terf webcomic
No. 567334
>>567317ntayrt but i feel like there’s way more potential
terf gfs than we realize — it’s just that no one can say shit because they’re probably crypoterfs, too scared to speak up. i try not to get depressed about it lol
No. 567525
>>567338I'd do this but I'm not a potterhead and I don't want to look like a fake fan because that's cringe.
Where I'm from there's absolutely no way of clocking gc cryptos because troons are a protected species.
No. 567717
>>567694tall willowy “horse faced” women with long rounded noses, small dark eyes, dorky gummy smiles, knobby elbows, low beautiful voice, and a short hair cut for reference, everyone in this thread was saying this girl had an “unfortunate” looking face, but she’s a rare example of my type… minus the dumb hair of course.
>>>/snow/2048447But even though she is cute, I fear I will never find anyone who captivates me like my old crush. I feel like I’m gonna be that person who never gets over an unrequited crush their entire life… it’s so hard. She was just so perfect. Down to the little bump in her nose and the cute corners of her mouth.
No. 567721
>>567717She's not conventionally attractive but she has a cute smile, I kind of get it.
I think there are plenty of women who look kind of like that, don't give up hope nona
No. 567845
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>>567717reminds me of Amelia from Harlots. A shy preacher's daughter who realises she's a lesbian.
No. 568237
>>567525hmm i guess a less non-fake way would be to say like, "i support jkr's women's fund", since she just created that? more authentic since you're not attaching yourself as a fan of the series plus i think most gender critical women agree with what jkr says and jkr is just a
trigger word for TRAs. subtle yet loud.
No. 568695
ive only been in one relationship so far in my life and its been with a moid, and despite its short duration i cant help but feel like ive been ruined for any woman that may be in my future. i feel like they deserve better than that, though oppositely i wouldnt care much if a woman i like used to have a male partner. cant tell if i should go full celibate to spare others or if i should just get over myself
>>567717also
nonny shes very cute… she looks a bit like a girl i used to like
No. 568716
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>>568695Don't concern yourself with pleasing your critics, instead dedicate yourself to becoming an interesting woman so you have an inner life, and along the way you will meet someone who is so charmed by you that nothing else in the world matters, in fact, she'll be happy you broke up with that guy because it means you can be with
her now.
No. 569908
>>568571Tbf if someone would ask me directly what my Sexuality was regardless of My partner's sex ( I'm Feb tho so let's say in this scenario its a woman) or was Like "oh
nonny your lesbian?" I'm not going to lie. Ig it all depends on the context ( bi girls who are Het partnered who bring up being bi even when context doesn't demand or bring their presumably het partner to lgb shit are world's apart yeah).
No. 570225
File: 1749173692962.jpg (1.06 MB, 1242x1453, 1000014191.jpg)
"you should come with me to [REDACTED]'s pride parade! you can meet other bisexuals!"
the average bisexuals at my local pride parade
No. 571515
>>571447essentially straight but want nurturing / care from women to make up for not getting it from your parents who neglected you, leading to you being vulnerable to grooming in a way a kid with attentive parents wouldn't have been
I'm the same nona
I think orientations are mostly fixed, but I also don't think I would be bisexual if it weren't for the grooming
No. 571689
>>571447After my first bf SA'd me numerous times when I was a teenager it was like my het side was dormant for over a decade. I genuinely thought I was lesbian or something because I was only aroused by women irl, but I still found male-on-straightmale abuse hot in fantasy (and only that) so it was like "okay so I am bi? But just in a fucked up way now." To make matters worse, 4 years after that, another moid stalked me for months when I was an older teenager and eventually SA'd me despite me asking people for help. The Y chromie was god's mistake, like after my ex did that, all I wanted to see were straight moids suffering for all eternity. And then when that other moid did that it was like just as I was getting better I was dragged back into hell and I needed reparations. So I just consoomed more male suffering.After going to therapy for 4-5 years and working on myself to reach a point where I could be functional irl, in spite of the PTSD flashbacks, I developed a sense of self and identity outside of what was done to me (my therapist helped a lot with guiding me) and I was able to meet new people. When I did meet new people my het side stopped being dormant because I met a guy I felt attracted to because he was hot/funny/smelled good and I felt safe with him. I didn't act on it tho because we had such different lifestyles so it would've gone nowhere, but it was a relief that I got my attraction back. Oddly I was also able to be turned on by women in fantasy again because I'd reached a point of health where I wasn't suppressed anymore. I'm also able to have peaceful relationships that aren't based on how crazy they are or how much attention I'm getting. I feel like a different person now.
Basically it gets better nonna. I wish I could give you a hug right now.
No. 571973
>>571917Maybe you already know this but from my own experience, women who seem straight and who say things like "i'm done with men" , "i'm so serious with women" "i can only see a future with a woman" are usually lying. I've had a woman say this to me even though she had a fling with a guy that same year and still chatted with him. They say this because they know you're
more serious and are serving you what you hope to hear. It could be that they really are done with men, that happens, but if it's spelled out really clearly in this way, be wary. It's fine if you're unsure about how serious a relationship will be but i don't understand why they play it up, it reminds me of how men act when they promise long-term relationships when they really just want sex.
No. 572349
>>572307Sexuality has very little to do with choice, you don't even get to choose which people you're attracted to within your sexual orientation, much less your inclination. You sound spicy straight so "choosing" to never date women seems easy
>Biphobia isn't realYes. It's always homophobia
(taking the bait) No. 572377
>>572307I mean, there's bi women who only feel like dating, having long term relationships with men and then maybe having a fling with a woman one time. Why can't the opposite be true that a bi woman genuinely desires mainly dating/long term relationships with women, but only had like one fling with a guy lol. Neither of these "types" of bi women's preferences can be controlled, yet they're both bisexual at the end of the day. At the end of the day, you're just a bi woman who lovessss men so much more. Congrats?
>I don't believe there's only one person in the world we're destined to be withso you don't think monogamy is real…?
(taking the bait) No. 572737
File: 1749525402833.jpeg (41.73 KB, 300x421, the average bi woman according…)
Anons ITT do you think there's any hope of genuine, widespread solidarity between bi women (not kuh-weer whatever but into both sexes) and lesbians? Ever? Or are we just too different to not have retarded fights that may or may not have some sexual tension?
No. 572746
>>572741Why are you taking the bait?
>>572737>muh sexual tension as a cope for always being baitedjust stop
No. 572748
>>572737I think there is. Like
>>572741 says
No. 572755
>>572307>>572737The reason I seethe at bisexuals is because you choose to be "oppressed" by wanting to date women when you can date moids (we all know you will go back to men anyway in the end) while I genuinely struggle with my SSA and wishing I were hetero everyday. I will keep hating on bisexuals until my dying breath.
t. a dyke
(bait) No. 572759
>>572737most likely not. because there will always be bi women out there who will have sex with women, but don’t want a committed relationship with women. so, they’re still considered bisexual (because what straight woman desires sex with women in any way lol…), but these bisexuals who marry men / only have flings with women are like SUPER common.
so THEN lesbians encounter these women and get jaded (rightfully so), and then say all bi women are like this. then bisexual women who actually want to date or marry have to shift through these bisexuals as well lmao. or lesbians assume that these bi women who DO want to genuinely date women long-term are all fakers and should just end up with men (i.e.
>>572755 mindset). They will shit and curse out these bisexual women till the day they die, because the former type of bisexual women will always make up the majority.
the solution to this? we stick to our own. let the lesbians try to find other lesbians (even though they’ll encounter bisexuals who mislabel themselves as lesbians quite often lmao. they’ll have to find gold stars). the bisexual women who do want to date women, can just try to find other bi women who take it seriously. both are hard but eh. i’d rather date a sane bi woman then have to deal with a lesbian living in constant paranoia and doubting my same sex attraction.
No. 572761
File: 1749531795919.jpg (37.19 KB, 533x355, 1000078150.jpg)
>>572755Choose to date me and you'll forget why you ever wished you were het~
No. 572788
>>572737I'm dating and will marry a lesbian and have many lesbian and bisexual friends. The key is to not befriend women that sound like they're a screenshot of a bait post away from a sexuality related nuclear meltdown.
>>572759I don't understand why bisexual women should have to "stick to our own" when we live in a world where many lesbians can, have and will date bisexual women without anything exploding. Stay away from women that hate you/women like you and date normal women instead. That isn't hard.
No. 572809
>>572788ayrt— i suppose i’m speaking too much from my own experience then. i literally only encounter (radfem) lesbians online who see all bisexuals as bihets / bisluts, no questions asked.
then i try to find people irl (or go on dating apps with the prospect of meeting them in person), and i find either a) delusional gendies / TRAs / handmaidens and b) women just experimenting, will just call me “so pretty!!!”, and won’t continue any further with having serious relationships long term. wherever these normal, sane women who think similar to me are, i would love to find them lmao. but the only experience i have is my delusional TIF ex and every type of person i mentioned.
No. 572821
>>572809>i literally only encounter (radfem) lesbians online who see all bisexuals as bihets / bisluts, no questions asked.If you're on Tumblr or Twitter for the sake of your own peace of mind stop surrounding yourself with these people. It's a choice to remain in their constant company and it's a choice that makes you these things are a fact of life instead of half-truths blown up by the anxieties of these women.
Going to events based around common interests helps to make friends and expand your network which is more important for finding like-minded people you could potentially date. That goes for online too. I met my girlfriend through a friend that way.
No. 572878
File: 1749561170907.jpg (32.29 KB, 640x360, 7038.jpg)
>>572761Save me bisexual woman and free me from the shackles of self loathing
No. 572905
>>572825I hope things work out for you nona. In most of the world there has never been a better time to try to find companionship as a woman into other women in spite of how terrible doomers try to make things out to be.
>>572873Even if events are full of people you can't stand you can usually make 1 connection with someone you click with, and that person is likely to have friends with a similar personality or interests that would like to befriend you or at least keep in contact. I have made lots of friends doing this and it has also meant that I have been able to introduce my friends to people that they'd get along with. If you're after friends idk what it is like in your country but I found Bumble BFF really refreshing when I used it, I found women that just wanted another lesbian or bi woman to go to events with and I have stayed friends with them to this day.
No. 574293
>>572755>what if she leaves me for a moid?What if she leaves you for a woman?
>>572821It's often either lesbian radfems who hate us or QuEeR bis who love trannies. It's so rare to find an in-between. I guess we can call ourselves "superbi"? Superstraight but instead we're bisexuals who don't date troons kek
No. 574659
File: 1749699959397.jpg (45.16 KB, 700x700, 1000074215.jpg)
>>572770>>574599Nta, Tbh same. I had bfs when I was younger (even dated a gymnast with trophies adorning his walls I'm not even kidding kek) and yet honestly they just don't compare to the excitement of being kissed by a woman and flirting with her. Even being walked home by a woman is still somehow more exciting and I can't stop thinking about us having sex and feeling really lustful. When I'm not feeling lustful I'm imagining us hanging out and having fun doing things together. Actually looking back, when I was a teenager I
e-cheated on one of my bfs with an e-gf and later dumped him over text to e-date her instead because it felt more satisfying with her KEK. How it feels to chew kinsey 5 gum.
No. 574688
File: 1749701511977.jpeg (293.9 KB, 1290x1709, dream les gf.jpeg)
I do think (depressingly so) that a not insignificant number of lesbians have had bad experiences irl with bi women. But also it can't be our collective responsibility to be so apologetic for whatever dumb thing a random Kinsey 0.69 and her Nigel did. Even though I prefer dating bi women I'd love more lesbian friends/potential partners and hate the mass trooning of them that's going on rn
No. 574838
>>574688Yes, if you know you wouldn't behave like that apologizing makes no sense.
>>574293>What if she leaves you for a woman?AYRT is a retard but being left for a man when it's likely your ex preferred men all along is a pretty different experience. You can't compete with a man if that's what she prefers, it makes you question the whole relationship and sours the breakup even more. Like imagine a straight woman committing to a man, he keeps doing things that hint at him preferring men but she chooses to trust his word. He eventually leaves for a man and seems more committed (for the purpose of the argument, picture him adopting a child with that new man when he refused having a baby with her). Not all lesbian-bisexual breakups are this bad but it's a common occurence. If this happened to straight women on a regular basis they would screen for bisexual men and avoid them (which they already do).
No. 575221
>>574659i’ve never even had bfs dude lol… like, i don’t even see males as potential partners tbh… the one time i kinda did, it was more about validation or whatever. i just wanted to check a mental bucket list like “ok cool, i did something sexual with a guy.” went on a date, did some shitty ass foreplay, and then cut him off the next day when he said he wanted to be my boyfriend lmao. and it’s not even like i’m a manhater or traumatized or anything. people always assume that, but nah. i’m just indifferent to dating men. i mostly just see them as eye candy sometimes, or get off to dick in fantasy — like penis envy shit /
futanari stuff, basically.
women are what always take up my fantasies — like, they just live there. and sometimes i feel like i’m lowkey gaslighting myself into thinking i’m faking all this, just because both heteros and homos act like my mind and body can’t possibly work this way…? even if i literally had a serious relationship with my ex-gf hah
(integrate) No. 576225
File: 1749831254663.webp (35.35 KB, 1080x1578, IMG_1433.webp)
I’m a complete train wreck. I’m that anon whose crush married an ugly older man. I had been making some mental stability progress, thinking about her less, but today she announced she’s having a baby boy. I thought I would be ready to take it but I wasn’t, apparently.
I am so pathetic that I have been locked in the work bathroom crying and shaking so bad I can barely type this. I’m trying to do everything they say to do for a panic attack like deep breathing, focusing on something calming, counting, etc, but I can’t stop shaking really bad and having tears in my eyes. My eye makeup is totally ruined now and my face is all red and puffy so when I finally leave the restroom it will look so obviously like I’ve been crying. And to make matters worse, it’s my mom’s birthday tonight so I need to somehow get myself together and into a celebratory mood before I arrive after work. I don’t know how I’m going to do it.
I’ve tried to keep myself from checking up on her countless times and I never can keep it up because I just want to see her face so bad. I just want this all to end, it’s been going on too long, I can’t live like this anymore, but I can’t figure out how to banish my feelings and time isn’t working.
(In the past, I fantasized so many times about her being my wife and caring for her when she’s pregnant, so seeing all this happen irl is excruciating for me. )
It’s been like 45 minutes and I’m still shaking like a leaf. What do I do? Why can other people seem to get over stuff like this yet I’m stuck here falling apart like a complete retard even though I knew this was coming? Why can’t I get over her? Why does no one else catch my eye and make me feel like she does? I want to move on and be normal but I am stuck on her no matter how much pain it causes me. I hate myself so much, you have no idea.
No. 576262
>>576227thank you anon… I wish I could vent to someone irl about this but no one even knows about this whole thing and wouldn’t understand so I have to keep it inside.
>>576250She was an acquaintance I always kept a distance from but admired from afar on social media, and now she lives in another part of the world, so it really is just a stupid as fuck problem that I am so hung up on her. I locked myself out of almost all my ways to check her socials, but admittedly I still did check one of them a couple times a week, which is how I saw the announcement.
I’ve tried really hard to be at peace with it, to be happy for her (which is hard when she married an ugly old scrote and is having a scrotelet…) and recognize that since this was just a one sided infatuation I should put it behind me, but I seem to be incapable of it. I’m just so sad about who she married. I’m not under any illusions it ever could have been me, or even a woman at all, but to choose and reproduce with a fat slob of a man 11 years older than her… it just hurts to think about. So it feels like the only solution is to never think about her at all, because when I do, I can’t not feel passionate about her, but at the same time it’s impossible to forget and never think about someone who had such a huge impact on you, so like… what am I supposed to do?? Genuinely I don’t know how to deal with my feelings.
No. 576290
>>576225I want to echo what
>>576276 said. Time will mainly heal you. But also, keep in mind that even when you feel might feel more healed, you will feel like you’ve regressed or not made any progress at times. DO NOT beat yourself up for feeling this way. You are human. You have emotions. And that is perfectly normal, so please don’t berate yourself up for just being human. Hugs, and I wish you the best.
No. 576807
>>576276>>576290I hope you're right, anons. Thank you very much for the advice. It's been a little less than a year since the marriage. I am going to completely stop checking up on her socials now. I think this really has to be the end.
A lot of people say the easiest way to move on is to find someone irl, but (even disregarding the fact that I am not at all interested in anyone I see) the intensity of my mental suffering just from observing an old acquaintance from afar makes me seriously concerned about what would happen to me when an actual IRL relationship fails (which happens to almost everyone at least a couple of times). Like, if I became the saddest I have ever been in my life just over this acquaintance I barely knew, what would happen if I had a painful IRL breakup? I legitimately think it would probably make me a danger to myself. So I'm too scared to even try to find someone irl.
yes i've been to therapy, but none of the therapists I tried understood why I was so upset about this crush… and I have been medicated my whole life but I don't think it does anything for me I also think I am having such a hard time moving past all this partly because I have some OCD-like rumination tendencies (not diagnosed but runs in the family…) that cause me to compulsively imagine things I don't want to about her married life, compulsively do A:B comparisons between the old her to the current her because it hurts and confuses me, and the worst one now is that i feel like if I stop checking on her then I am weak for not being able to handle the information, and then my imagination takes over to fill the gaps, but I hate imagining incorrect information so I cave and check again… I've tried many times to stop keeping up with her but my brain tells me that's "avoiding the problem" as if it's even a problem that can be addressed just by thinking about it and causing myself pain.
I definitely am not mentally right but I think it's just the way I'll always be, it's really hard to live like this.
No. 577131
File: 1749880832451.gif (672.09 KB, 220x273, bet.gif)
>>577040DA I'm more open to non monogamy than most LC nonnas (due to my self destructive BPD and autism combo I assume) but as
>>574838 explained pretty well it would be a whole different disturbing experience for a female partner to fuck a man rather than another woman imho. It's disingenuous to pretend the two would be the same. Anyway anon my advice is to just be fully honest about how you feel about it. There's no use in downplaying how uncomfortable it makes you especially since this is the second time she's brought it up. If it was me I'd be tempted to troll her a bit
sorry! bippie time and ask her how she'd feel if I started hooking up with men. If she reacts badly, that's a bad sign
No. 577218
>>577062I'm this anon
>>570783So, there are more than a couple problems in this relationship, kek. I just feel like I'm stuck here for now. She's straight up told me many times that if I leave her she will completely spiral and be reckless, and that's not just fluff either because she did just that when her last partner left her. And she has made me feel bad about wanting monogamy, saying things like she's not my property and such. I just feel so checked out I wouldn't even care if she cheated.
>>577131It's gonna be men she sees, I know her enough to gauge that. I think it would hurt me more if it were other women, honestly.
No. 577367
>>577250I'm illustrating a broader point (kinsey 2 women having little emotional investment in their lesbian relationships) with an extreme example. Some are pretty honest about it, others not so much.
> there's no reason for her to date the sex she supposedly likes "less" when it would be much easier to date a man, let alone lie about being SSA at allThere is, it's fun and they get to experience something different from hetero dynamics. A recent bad breakup with a man is the biggest red flag for this dynamic. They aren't lying about SSA, they're just not truthful about how it's just an exciting new thing and nothing more. I know it's hard to imagine but many women just slide into relationships because they feel like they have to date at all times (on top of the former reasons).
>and that doesn't mean that she never loved youThat's not really the point. The point is there is a massive gap and it'd be so much better if these women were upfront about only wanting hookups or flings. Or getting into something without grand declarations of undying love because you actually don't know where it's headed. That's why i hate when people come at open Kinsey 2s because i feel it goads them into this behavior for fear of the 'bislut' label. I still think some lesbians are eager to disregard obvious tells and then lash out at all bisexuals when they should have been less willfully naive
>but if we're talking about a grown womanYa i agree that this bullshit has an expiration date, women past a certain age are less likely to do this
>So, not really comparable to closeted gay men who trap women until they're ready to come outSure
No. 577384
>>574976Given how many bisexuals acts with lesbians women I don’t see how surprising it is, everything that happens in real life gets magnified online.
Most lesbians don’t sperge about bisexuals, they just date other lesbian women without bothering anyone.
This discourse is mainly fueled by virgin lesbians and bisexuals who don’t even date women but chronically stick with men out of juggling “bicycling” and using women.
No. 577633
>>577367I don’t believe being lower on the kinsey scale actually makes someone unable to take relationships with women seriously though, they’re just less likely to try since they can easily retreat into heterosexuality. Most women who do that have shitty attitudes towards women they date, even some of the “honest” ones, I don’t really want to excuse it as just being their sexuality.
I do agree that it muddies the issue if any bi woman who prefers men is accused of faking SSA even if they date and sleep with women.
No. 577877
File: 1749934409371.jpg (63.73 KB, 860x1047, bisexual pride.jpg)
>>577866Innate and shaped by me becoming so blackpilled on moids that 3 of my grandparents have died believing I'm a manhating lesbian
No. 578088
File: 1749946561171.jpg (28.93 KB, 478x483, 8608960986.JPG)
you ever get depressed about how many women are straight. I feel really down when I find a really straight girl attractive. Just a dumb example but i'm watching random youtube videos and this girl has such a beautiful face but is so clearly straight and imagining these women chasing after crusty dudes is so depressing to me for some reason. Maybe i'm just scarred because my biggest crush was on a straight woman but I've been so down about this lately. I haven't been aware of my bisexuality until a few years ago so I guess maybe I'm just behind on getting this feeling worked through but still. Ugh. And it doesn't matter anyway because I have a face like a potato and zero swagger so I will never get a gf. well anyway this random girl in picrel is soooooooo beautiful it's making me wistful.
No. 578317
>>578102samefag I know this might sound dumb but being into women has been so incredibly painful for me just due to general world and specific personal circumstances that I really would like to learn how to be attracted to men again. basically I am tired of pining for women that are as rare as endangered birds. Like it just sucks. My mental health is in the trash. My life crushing on men was so much simpler and I miss it. I wonder if there's a way to bring back my sexual attraction to men naturally? I've tried to force it but it isn't pleasant. But I used to be into them, so I know it must still be inside me somewhere.
I still am able to find men cute, but imagining doing anything further than kissing with dudes is not appealing to me at all anymore. I am tired of living with the pain of liking women I can't have (whether that be because theyre straight, IDing as trans, or if the crush is parasocial, etc) though and I just want to go back to fantasizing about dudes because I guess I'm weak or something and emotionally exhausted. I used to have husbandos that made me happy but now I'm not into 2d characters anymore, i guess maybe i've matured too much to get excited about lines like I used to (no offense husbandowaifufags more power to you).
Do any of you have ideas about to to naturally get myself back into men sexually? Has anybody managed to do it before?
No. 579697
File: 1750101230087.png (109.6 KB, 983x748, bisexualwomen.png)
>>579679I remember reading a post about how dating women was a pain because they're entitled or whatever. I assume there's got to be some upsides and downsides compared to dating men besides the mere bodily differences, right?
No. 579728
>>579697eh that's not a woman thing. there's vast amounts of straight women doing all of those things for some lazy pornsick uggo moid.
Probably a type issue though. She probably goes for that type of woman and then upset those are the only type of women she's with
No. 579739
>>579697Tbh it comes across like she's describing women who don't have the emotional maturity to not use their partner as a validation machine, which is probably what led to them being single in the first place. Although, don't get me wrong, men invented the masculine/feminine social roles to set up the dynamic of "you're a retarded princess baby and I'm your knight in shining armour and you will fawn over me when I do things for you." but even men get bored of their own patriarchal fiction when they can't keep up with their own idealised role. For some women, when they get stuck in "passive mode" it's difficult to get out of afterwards because it becomes a habit.
However dating requires financial stability between both partners and social ability to bond well, and the inner personal standards to not use your partner to "prove" they love you via money and sex. It sounds like she's describing these types of women who do not have good sense of selves, especially the last part about having no hobbies or interests or the confidence to even book a table over the phone. Meanwhile my sister is bi and has a good job, and because she is a go-getter, she ended up marrying a lesbian who also had a good job kek. So now they have a double income with kids and basically holiday wherever they want around the world. If these women the OP keeps meeting actually want successful relationships, they're going to have to actually treat their girlfriends like equals, and to even do that they're going to need to actually get hobbies and break free from the passivity.
No. 579747
>>579697>Bland talkers who expect you to carry the conversation. People who lack hobbies.So she dates a few boring women and it's a bisexual problem. This isn't even me putting aside that the phenomenon she mentions is very real, but it sounds like she dated some very boring women and is trying to make their blandness related to their bisexuality and not just the state of being bland.
>>579738There was no trend. Every person I dated was different. I had very good experiences dating men and women. I stayed friends with most of the people I dated of either gender because most of us agreed that romantic chemistry wasn't there but that hanging out would be fun.
No. 579796
>>579697This is heterosexual behavior bleeding into a lesbian couple. It makes sense for hets because women do give back a lot (a baby, lots of empathy and making sure he's satisfied, forgetting yourself …). So men have to take on the provider role if they want their couple to survive the test of time. Bisexual women who behave like this still operate on a heterosexual logic
>A lot of the male gender revolves around spending money, planningThis is not true though. Women get financially abused left and right these days and they do most of the work when it comes to planning etc. I think this user just dates women who see her as a sucker because she goes along with their entitlement instead of giving it up early
>expect you to carry the convoThis is so real. Being expected to be chased after or expecting you to drop everything in a second for her, even if she's not romantic at all and not approaching you in an appealing way (when they do, u-hauling suddendly becomes way more attractive kek). In retrospect i always wanted to ask the few women who acted like this "you know i'm a woman, right? I'm not desperate for pussy in the same way a man is"
>I assume there's got to be some upsides and downsides compared to dating men besides the mere bodily differences, right?It depends on what you like. Have a friend that won't date women because she noticed lesbians are too obsessed with each other and it becomes overwhelming, leads to intense drama. I think she's not being honest with herself (she's actually straight) but she's right on that point. I heard that from other people and i definitely noticed it myself but i personally love the intensity. It must be exhausting after a while though. Like, i still need my alone time, i still need some distance here and there otherwise i go crazy. I'd add being expected to have telepathic abilities and knowing what they want before they even voice it. But all of that is alright in comparison to the entitled type of woman.
>>579741Yeah well her whole point is she'd prefer it if it was not a one-way street
No. 579928
Any other here who doesn't like butches/stone butches/studs that act masculine? It's not a matter of aesthetics, but like how they act? I don't like when moids act like fuckboys or alpha males, so when a woman does it, it makes her to me extremely unattractive. I'm not saying that I only date femmes but idk, I'm feeling much better with people that I could relate to and share interests and just by refusing a butch once, she called me a faker. It's not only about the vagina, I'm afraid…anyone else having this experience? Sometimes I feel that
some butches act like pickmes towards men and want desperately to be one of them and act like them, the butch I turned down was the only girl in her friend group and the only difference in between her and her friends was that she was a woman, idk it was a bit uncanny but at the same time, me being a femme makes me unattractive to other femmes? Living is suffering.
Anyway,
>>550152 , I feel you. Sometimes my brain makes me dream these fuck all sex compilations like you said and in particular, it puts me these situations where both men and women crave for my body parts like they are some sort of forbidden fruit and women are always fighting for getting a grab of my legs in particular and I also feel their soft bodies, it's hell. I also love shorter men but I love taller women.
No. 579933
>>577866Innate because I always remember liking women and I felt extremely out of place from middle to high school for not liking men. Turns out I also liked men but only very specific ones that of course you wouldn't find around you when you're school age and it got refined and shaped once I was an adult that realized that there was nothing wrong and I could date whatever the fuck I wanted and also do what I wanted so I gave in. I remember finding (yeah stupid thing but try to be in my childish me shoes) ecchi manga hot as fuck because I could almost feel the girls on it and then when I touched one irl for the first time, I totally fell. To this day and age, for men, it's very hard for them to catch my attention and if I didn't feel any attraction for them, considering it's very selective and particular but I'm still a
victim of it, I would probably identify as a lesbian
No. 579948
>>579697I hate these retards, they're on tiktok too and the comment section is full of moids using it as safe space to let their misogyny out.
Actually, the last paragraph smells very suspicious.
No. 579977
>>579667I think it is true for especially bi women who have mostly dated men that initiating things can be hard. But I feel like usually it is more insecurity than feeling privileged and will become more balanced over time. Applies to sex as well, inexperienced women might just be passive because they worry "doing it wrong." Sure some people are simply selfish in bed but Im pretty sure that is much more common in men.
About the money, I have only ever dated one moid who wanted to pay for things because it is manly or whatever, other times we split. With my ex gfs I used to pay a bit more because they were still students and I was working. (Same age they just studied bigger degrees than me kek.) Latest ex even offered for me to became a housewife once she starts making money.
No. 580193
File: 1750214653411.jpg (28.45 KB, 728x408, 1000079720.jpg)
>>580191Shhhh
nonnie it's not the end of the world. You'll be alright.
No. 580313
>>579928Can you be more specific re: her behavior? I've heard this take before but when i ask further questions it comes down to "she came on too strong". I never got that vibe from a butch but i might not hang around the kind who act like fuckboys
>and just by refusing a butch once, she called me a fakerRude as hell. She sounds dumb
>>580191It's not weird at all. Especially not these days. You could also meet her outside of your place and welcome her when you think it's serious.
No. 580681
>>580191>how to date as a 26 year old adult virgin with OCD and no friends who lives with her parents?>desperate for love and sexI'm just gonna say be realistic with your expectations, and if someone seems too good to be true, they probably are. Just saying, you're in a vulnerable position right now.
Anyway, probably start with making some friends. How are you gonna get a healthy relationship if you can't even have healthy friendships.
No. 580733
>>577866I have always been attracted to women, but growing up, I felt like I had to be attracted to men like normal girls my age. So I pretended to like them, a lot. I started simping for anime boys, I found youtubers that weren't disgusting to look at, and basically acted out this crush phase when I was 13. I realized I was bi around high school, but I noticed my attraction to women was much stronger than it was for men, so internalized homophobia made me date men more often, even if I wasnt actually attracted to them. I started to think I might even be a full blown lesbian, as I realized that all this love I showed for men was nothing more than an act, and I embraced being SSA. But I think the years and years of gaslighting myself into liking men actually did have an effect, because after a lifetime of solely being attracted to women, I started finding my best guy friend attractive, both physically and emotionally. I have no idea what prompted this change, because it happened literally about a month ago. I know I'm bisexual now, because I'm now dating him, but it doesnt feel like a forceful chore the way it did when I was forcing myself to be OSA. So, to answer if its innate or not, I really don't know if I psyoped myself into liking men, or if I was always like this and just never felt true attraction to a real life man.
No. 580826
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>>580748I don't personally mind them as terms although they do feel a bit tumblresque and childish. Wouldn't say they offend me though, tomcat especially is kind of cute. Follow up question: do anons ITT have any favourite famous butch or femme (or andro) bi women? Dunno what it says about me that the very first butch bi I can think of is
Jojo Siwa kek
No. 580943
>>580941> the difference from butch and femme though?Butch is real, masculine women (lesbian or straight or bi) are clockable from miles away, this is fake and a meme on par with "bisexuals sit weird"
>They're still silly terms that perpetuate heteronormative stereotypesIf a woman in a masc style and another in fem style are "heteronormative" then two moids in wigs and amazon basics mini skirts are "lesbianormative". Go back
No. 581019
>>580941Yeah butch/femme are equally stupid as doe/stag. Why do we need to categorize ourselves as either feminine or not, even apart from scrotes who decided what's feminine and what isn't? Plus "femme" literally means "woman" which reinforces the idea that femininity=woman. Caring that much about labels and "gender presentation" is gendie shit adjacent whether we like it or not. If you really need to specify that your gf/crush does not conform well to beauty standards or gender stereotypes for women, just say GNC.
>>579697"She" writes like a moid. "She" said that things ""can"" be unfair for women in het relationships (I guess that was a way to appear nuanced) before saying that women definitely benefit from unfair expectations of men because women don't have hobbies, women are catered to, women don't pay, women don't drive, women don't plan, women don't do any labor/efforts, and finally women don't give orgasms. Ridiculous. Def a moid or a uber handmaiden. If you don't like the woman you're dating and this is what you genuinely think of her, just stop dating her. The only reason moids keep dating women they hate is to have sex. I didn't expect women to also do this, but if some do, they don't get to whine about muh frustration.
No. 581051
>>581019>Caring that much about labels and "gender presentation" is gendie shit adjacent whether we like it or not. Not every person who uses these terms is "caring this much", it's just a label to discuss your preference. It's so true that butchfemme can turn into gendie-lite. There are people who try to play it up because they don't know how to simply exist without performing something (a lot like TiFs). At the end of the day there are still going to be masculine lesbians and the women who are attracted to them will find ways to name them. It's not always retarded or sinister
>"She" writes like a moid.>women who say things i don't like must be moidsKEK her complaints are really common though. Anyone who's had to deal with women on dating apps knows how passive women can be, for whatever reason. Ironic that you rail against gendies but think that women with unusual problems ("she's too passive and expects me to be the man even though we're women" as opposed to "he's too insistent") must be LARPing moids.
>If you don't like the woman you're dating and this is what you genuinely think of her, just stop dating her. The only reason moids keep dating women they hate is to have sexYeah women never take issue with the behavior of the people they date, if they do they must "hate" them and only want them for sex. Not to infight but what is it with women and comparing lesbians to men? Happens all the time, not just with anonymous posts. I'd like to know what's so compelling about it
>saying that women definitely benefit from unfair expectations of men because women don't have hobbiesThe way it was phrased was odd but it's true, a lot of women are underdeveloped when it comes to interests because they will just reflect whatever their boyfriend is into. It's yet another consequence of hetero norms and it's not surprising a woman would take issue with it. She (like most lesbians or bisexuals i assume) wants to learn more about the woman she's dating, there is genuine interest. Your "women are moids" line doesn't even make sense. Anyways i think she worded it like that because lesbians have little to no experience with men, so they often don't understand that women do all sorts of things even if it looks like they're completely passive. For eg. giving orgasms is non-negotiable, but maybe she thinks the entitlement she's facing extends to men. She doesn't realize those women are this entitled
because they're with another woman, on top of the heterosexual script they're used to
No. 581324
>>581220>Just because, like a scrote, you don't see value in their interestsBut that's not what i said. It's not about the kind of hobby they have. Noticing an unfortunate pattern in heterosexual dating doesn't mean you think women don't have genuine interests, of course they do, but it's not that valued in society and that affects how many present themselves in dating. Actually lesbians can be like this too, the user in that screenshot is disingenuous when she pins it all on bisexuals.
>>581073>"almost every straight or bisexual woman" followed by some retarded generalizationI agree that her wording is retarded, i got what she meant but she's probably motivated by an in-group/out-group distinction
>In fact, she seems to think that she's quite the expert in het relationship dynamics. Yeah but she isn't, she's clueless, that's my point. Sometimes lesbians say things that make you wonder if they've been living in Disneyland or something, i notice it a lot. Like they know men treat women badly but the specifics aren't clear, they don't pick up on many things. And why would they, they don't care about men
No. 581824
>>580770>stag and doe sound completely made up. Nta that's because they are. They originated within niche tumblr discourse circles around 5 years ago because I was there when they were happening. I was terminally online in my early-mid twenties and I'm 28 now.
Picture terminally online lesbians discoursing with terminally online bisexuals and being territorial over terms invented before any of them were even born, used within working class lesbian communities that will never exist again. Instead of following each other and dating each other, they were yelling at each other to "NEVER USE BUTCH AND FEM IF YOU'RE NOT LESBIAN!" (and then several of those terminally online lesbians later came out as bi anyway because of course they did) so the terminally online bisexuals were like "FINE WE'LL MAKE OUR OWN WORDS!" That's the context of where stag and doe comes from.
No. 581851
>>581824This was started by discourse surrounding the word "stud" btw. The attitude was that a non-black woman calling herself a "hot stud" was the equivalent of going up to a black woman and calling her a nigger to her face, while also committing homophobic hate crimes. Then it snowballed into further nitpicking over "misusing queer terminology".
Laughably retarded of course, but that's what these online "communities" are built off of.
No. 582053
>>582047I had an "exception" once in my teens so I'm definitely not kek, but if it wasn't for that I'd probably think I was.
>>582049Yeah I probably just need to keep looking.
No. 582117
>>582080What was it about her that was attractive?
I think I would be attracted to more women if they weren't generally conditioned (by society and reinforced by each other) into a small selection of mainly retarded or annoying personality types
No. 582120
>>582117She was extremely unusual looking in general with cute feminine facial features but masculine overall facial proportions. She also was stylish, lanky, and wore male clothing. And her voice was smooth as butter, quiet, and relatively low pitched.
Based on this, you'd think it was just a simple case of "straight girl temporarily confused by handsome woman that will clear up once her brain realizes she's not a man." But it wasn't that, because from day one I knew she was a woman and was attracted to her as a woman. For some reason that made it way hotter.
I lost so many hours of sleep masturbating to the thought of fingering her and eating her out and strapping her and every type of dirty fantasy you could think of. She had a very cute butt too and looked great in low rise jeans but she only wore that style once kek I think she was self conscious about it. Despite her styling she had a pretty girly and gentle demeanor. I think all the contrasts are part of what drove me crazy. But that bit me in the end since she wound up being straight. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHY COULDN'T SHE BE MY CUTE WIFE I will never get over her it's over for me anons put me in the ground.
No. 582331
>>582329ntayrt but while people don't like it when you say sexuality is fluid (and just putting it like that is a cop out for a lot of bullshit so I get that), but I think there's some truth to it. I do think orientation is innate and can't be changed, but attraction is a complex phenomenon cognitively speaking, so sometimes someone can just hit the right patterns for your brain and you feel something even if you wouldn't typically be attracted, and if that feeling is strong enough your preferences might adapt and stretch around that to accommodate it.
I think a lot of essentially monosexual people have some latent potential for bisexuality, but they could go a long time or their whole life without the right conditions to activate it and never know.
No. 582419
>>582329>Or is most of the "straight" world actually bisexual? It's a known thing that straight women often report attraction to women (idk if that attraction is deeply felt or simply vague arousal. Seems like it's the latter). Lesbians are more specific about what sex they're attracted to in studies. I also feel like takes about sexuality being fluid are what happens when you generalize straight female sexuality to everyone
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11588947/Plus people overstate their changes in attraction, i noticed this tendency within myself. Your orientation isn't that fluid if you're bisexual, it's just that no one can be constantly attracted to both sexes at once. If you fall for a woman, or a succession of women, they will be your world for a while, and you might think you're gay, or 100% straight if you prefer men. Anyways i found a study that confirms this old hunch. Sorry to be a nerd about it but i had to kek
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2022.2060927#d1e1188>and that among all sexual orientations, bisexual individuals were the most likely to report any change. Furthermore, we found that change in self-reported sexual orientation was not reflected in genital arousal, providing tentative support for the notion that self-reports may overestimate change in sexual orientation. No. 582455
>>582321nta but a lot of straight identified women are actually just bi women attracted to masculine people but masculinity in women is rare because it’s stigmatized so they don’t come to this realization.
lesbians who like masculinity realize this because nothing else turns them on. so when they come across a masculine woman they have an epiphany.
basically the bi women who prefer femininity in women are more likely to be out and aware of their sexuality because there are more feminine women whereas the bi women who prefer masculinity in women are less likely to be out because there are fewer masculine women.
No. 582523
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No. 582572
>>582534Gaydar is hard to explain, i've had (rare) moments where i'd see a woman and a voice shouted "lesbian" in my mind even though she looked completely average. Then i learn she has a wife or something. It's crazy and it doesn't happen for every SSA feminine woman… I don't know why it's a thing, probably has to do with body language (???). The one thing i clock when it comes to style is vintage fashion. Femme lesbians
love vintage fashion kek. Dressing in a very elaborate way that pleases women is another cue, it doesn't have to be alt
No. 583438
File: 1751309021894.jpg (57.27 KB, 1080x1003, 1000081975.jpg)
>be me
>be 28
>be health conscious and thus attractive
>get invited out to new acquaintance-friend's 29th birthday party
>meet new people
>still got it because both men and women are approaching me and complimenting me over the course of the evening
>I approach a cute short-haired woman there
>her friend happily informs me the short-haired woman is lesbian (thank you god)
>she's a little nervous around me (CUTE)
>we flirt and it turns out she's actually 10 years younger but we still find each other hot so we drink a little, exchange numbers, and get a bit touchy before she goes home
>party changes venues so we all go from eating and drinking to just drinking
>at some point I meet an attractive 31 year old man and we flirt and bond over videogames we grew up with, like runescape and pokémon
>we exchange numbers and he asks me what time I get off work in the week so we can meet again
>I tell him I left my old job so I'm between work and figuring things out but it means I'm free all week~
>he then "jokes" I should sell my feet on onlyfans
>????
>fun flirty feeling evaporates from my loins like I've just seen a dog maul a baby
>he apologises and I laugh it off but the mood has changed
>at some point he negs me by saying I have crows feet when I laughed at something another woman said
>he still has the audacity to text me the next day asking to meet up with him
Why do men do this? I wish the lesbian girl I met was this bold.
No. 583529
>>583482>>583487Dw nonnas even I understand it's weird, but we graduate at 16 in my country so she got invited to the party by her co-worker which is why she was even there. I definitely mentioned it because it was like "realistically the 31 year old would have been the more moral outcome, but because he degraded me and the entire female sex, the 10 years younger girl somehow came out as the better option from the night". Like a dark joke because it's so inappropriate. For clarification, I'm not actually going to pursue and have sex with her, we would not have anything in common to uphold a relationship and I'm not the type to use (or be used by) someone for "fun".
>>583462Done and done, nonna. You might be right, I've been told by one of my childhood friend's housemates that I'm so zen he feels calm around me which was really sweet. Plus I supported her in a small court thing and won the appeal she was involved in by using my observations of her life as evidence that contributed to her case. I'm definitely gonna let that friend know what happened since she's influential in the group and doesn't humour creeps (she told a guy off for me who sent me a thirst trap on the first night we met and then asked me for pictures kek, and since then he's not shown up in the group again). Basically because I'm new to this group It's difficult to know where I stand within the social dynamic so early on, not to mention it's quite a large number of people within it so there are a lot of opinions involved. I'm well-liked so far which is good but lol it's such a pain when guys do things like act so horny it makes them retarded. Outside of the group I'd just give it to them straight.
No. 583709
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>>576225I am trying so hard this time. But I literally feel like this. Me vs. oncoming train of still wanting to love her. Literally I think I would rather lose a limb than have to do this.
No. 583716
>>583703>and bisexuals in denial in the "lesbian" dating pool anyway and you can't weed them out perfectlyOh yeah, that doesn't count because they'll be gayer than bicurious heterosexual women. It's kind of awkward when you can smell repressed bisexuality coming from a "lesbian" but can't say anything for fear of being wrong or coming across as rude. Plus it feeds into the stupid lesbian identity contest some women engage in. Still, there's always something that confirms this impression kek
>But then if you're honest about being bisexual you're automatically the same as the bicurious straight girl they tried to date in high school.I feel like many lesbians can discriminate between honest bisexuality and that but you never know