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No. 333126
second thread is finally due to be locked, so here's the new one to discuss bisexuality.
thread #1
>>56468thread #2
>>199767if you're still extremely unsure if you're bisexual, the questioning thread is likely a better fit. talk about your gender preferences, how you discovered you were bi, what's your type in men and women, how you feel in the community, any struggles you've had with bisexuality, etc.
No. 333128
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Hi nonnitas! I hope the thread is fine, never made one before.
No. 333140
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Anybody have stories relevant to being bisexual they’d like to share?
I’ll start & try to greentext:
>be me, bisexual, last year of high school
>be at house party
>waiting for female friend that said she’ll be at said party
>have a drink, talk to a few people I know etc
>she’s here with 3 other girl friends I don’t know
>cool
>introduce myself, we get to know each other
>girl with red hair in uni I’m considering applying to
>we talk about that, get a drink, dance
>fast forward an hour or so
>guys are in the kitchen smoking weed, a few people are upstairs and the rest went to the store
>me and girl with red hair are on our own
>she initiates
>why not
>kissing on the couch for a bit
>get up to bring us a drink
>be back, she resumes the kissing, I don’t mind
>touching above the waist, she initiates once again, sure, I’m into it
>break off the kiss
>take a sip of my drink
>I’m heterosexual.
>…
>what do you mean
>i just like making out with girls.
>mfw
>what’s wrong nonna, come here
>?????
This was a few years ago and I still think about it from time to time…
No. 333283
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funny and cute threadpic, I think I have that same image saved
rant, bi-cycling is exhausting and made me extremely confused about my sexuality when I was younger. I have no problems with being bisexual but every time I think I start to understand the way my bisexuality works it starts going off in some different direction entirely and I have zero fucking clue what is happening eg. I have gone through very long periods of being nearly exclusively attracted to women romantically and sexually and not wanting to have anything to do with men at all but then I'll suddenly be extremely attracted to a specific type of men and start coming up with a bunch of insane scenarios and my attraction to women is put on the back burner and it makes me feel shitty even though it'll just be me by myself, single. I got bored and lonely and got a bf out of nowhere recently and graduated from being a weird autist virgin but sometimes I'll wish I was dating a girl instead and I feel bad. I probably have a lot of weird problems with sex and my sexuality in general that I didn't even realize I had until recently. I'm inexperienced but it used to be really easy to get horny as fuck in the past but a lot of things just don't feel that good or pleasurable for me anymore and it makes me feel like I have some sort of defect and that I should just become a nun or some shit instead so I don't have to worry or think about sex or relationships. I feel like an idiot. fml maybe I really was meant to be by myself. sorry, I feel like a lot of this post wasn't really about being bi and more about wondering whatever the fuck is happening with me. how I wish I was born a jellyfish
No. 333363
>>333306fellow asperg here and please be thankful you didn't fall for it- I've been in eerily similar situations several times in my life.
they do this just to fuck with us. its evil. if you ever take the bait you get humiliated or worse used for shit like this one girl had me help her move.
No. 333817
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I don't plan on dating or marrying a woman but I have eaten pussy/had my pussy eaten by a woman and I liked it, plus she was a better kisser than any man I've kissed. I don't even like identifying as bi because I feel like a fraud idk. But sometimes I see pics of women kissing (not porn-y, stuff like picrel) and I feel intense jealousy, like holy shit I wish I had a gf. Also I fantasize about a man proposing to me but also fantasize about proposing to a woman, planning the ring perfectly, being super scared all day because I want it to be perfect, seeing her face when she realizes what I'm asking her, etc. I THINK I prefer sex with men but I've had sex with one man and one woman and the man just happened to be better, plus I had a relationship with him whereas the woman was a hookup (which I don't think I'm built for). Idk just wanted to rant bc it's pride month kek so I'm confused all over again. I hate labels.
No. 333826
>>333807>Lesbians are allowed to vent about the difficulties of being exclusively homossexualAbsolutely no one has ever said they can't. In fact, they (and febfems/polilezzies) are the ones who tend to pissing off when bisexuals who are in relationships with men (or even celibate ones, myself included) vent while expecting us to always prioritize and centralize them.
>even if they are privileged in other waysThe thing is that they pose as if they are more “owpressed” than everyone else and consequently everyone must bow their heads and shut up, like trannies do too. And definitely these "privileges" affect how much homophobia you suffer, lmao. Being LGB in Western Europe is totally different than in fucking Iran, for example.
>rightoid wordYeah, and? I'm not sure where I stand politically, but I definitely hate the spoiled and hypocritical kind of liberals, so, at least in that rightoids are, well, right.
>used to refer to a group known for arbitrarily conflating different types of oppressionNope, they're known to ignore relevant issues like economics, wars, etc, to whine about futile retarded bullshit like, idk, this Lilo & Stitch live-action actress “not being
POC enough" or whatever and calling anyone who disagrees/doesn't care a "insensitive something-phobic nazi".
>>333817>so I'm confused all over again>I hate labelsMaybe the questioning thread is more suitable for you?
No. 333834
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This summer has attracted a very weird crowd, specially with the pride thread. I kinda enjoy the dog fighting tho, to me it has always been the LGTQAIPP2++. So watching their boat burn from afar is satisfying, after decades of exclusion, hostility and antagonism towards the B I can't say I feel bad for them.
No. 333855
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i met this girl at an amusement park when i was around 13 over 10 years ago. i recognized a shirt she had on and we instantly hit it off, became friends online, sort of revealed a crush on each other, became secretly 'official' and made plans to go visit each others homes but 30 minutes driving distance to 13 year old secret girlfriends was basically the other side of the world. it fizzled away quietly. i met other girls and guys as i grew up. im living happily with my boyfriend of many years now but i cant help but think of her from time to time. my parents never knew about her nor that i like women at all. theyre religious immigrants, you know the rest. i know it was a childish 'love' and i dont even know what she looks like now but my heart aches so badly for what could have been.
No. 333869
I don't have that much to say about being bisexual since I live somewhere where premarital sex is illegal even if you're straight, so no sex, kissing or dating experience for me at the age of 20 something.
As a kid I didn't care about being into someone or having a crush even though girls in school (an all girls school because gender segregation is practiced where I live) would tease me about not having a crush on any boy my age at the time, mind you we were 7-9 those girls were sort of weird. They watched romance TV dramas and liked the romance aspects and fantasized about it while I watched cartoons.
So they start sharing stories about their irl crushes which were one's cousin (cousin fucking is normal here) and another talked about some 20 something guy who was grooming her in insta dms while she was larping as 16 yo. It was weird and even as a 9 yo I knew there was something wrong with that so I avoided boys my age and men all together. It wasn't like I could safely have a crush on one anyways.
Until at 10-11 yo I watched some cgi cartoons on TV and got obsessed with a specific male character and he was my first male crush ever, I was so obsessed with him I couldn't find real men attractive, not the ones in my country at least since they're all malnourished and inbred (I am too but I managed to look better somehow). I liked him so much that I couldn't get into male westeren celebrities like 1D and others that were popular back in the 2010s and not even kpop boys from the time. He literally shaped my type in men, muscular, tall, cheekbones, sharp straight nose, sharp jawline, and a redhead with colored eyes if possible.
I had a best friend at the time that was my first female crush but I was too young to realize that, I was 14 back then and she was also bi or les but neither of us made any moves and we were too young anyways to do anything. We eventually drifted off each other and I lost contact with her unfortunately. I discovered she's lgb after she moved to another school and I got her number from a mutual friend and she was open about it to me. It was nice to check on her until I deleted her number like an idiot because she was spamming with whatsapp broadcast messages about BTS. I lost contact with the mutual friend as well so oh well.
My true bisexual awakening was when I saw black widow on an avengers cartoon, I can't remember if it was earth mightiest heros or avengers assembe but she had long hair and was beautiful and smart and sort of the actual leader of the avengers and they'll always fuck up without her. That awakened something inside me and she also sort of shaped my taste in women. Muscular/fit, redhead, tall, busty, long hair, high cheekbones, and a defined jaw.
As you can see I have the same exact taste in men and women lol, but I can appreciate men and women who look different to my standards as long as they're good looking to me.
I don't really prefer one over the other, but I noticed I fantasize about being with male characters I find hot way more than female characters which makes me sad. But I have a little folder of malen and female celebrities and models I find hot and it's well balanced if not female dominated lol.
I'm planning on leaving the country I live in one day and experiencing sex with both men and women and staying single and sticking with casual sex. I hope I'll actually have game because I'm ugly af and everyone says plastic surgery bad but I don't think eating healthy and exercising is gonna fix 20 years of malnourishment and child neglect, abuse and slavery or inbred genes.
No. 333889
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I've always been more attracted to women but have only ever dated men (well, a man) I've been dipping my toes into the dating scene again, but in the world of being a woman on a dating app, unless you're only seeking out women, you're just going to find men and even when only seeking women you'll still find men. I really want to date a woman, but only seeking out women makes me feel ..wrong? because I am still attracted to men. Idk it just makes me feel like I'm trying to "experiment", even though I know I'm not.
No. 333891
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anyone else knew they were a homosexual even as a child and then had to come to terms with having heterosexual attraction as well later on? kek i had a breakdown about it when i was in highschool even though it objectively makes me more "privileged" so to say, because i really didn't want to admit it and i've known i was SSA and recognized myself as a lesbian specifically as soon as i learned of the word with no problem up until then. it just broke me because didn't want to seem like a stereotype lying hypocrite, especially since i've always been known as "the girl that hates boys/men" and didn't see myself spending the rest of my life with one. funnily enough my tif oneitis helped me realize this
i feel like people typically had the opposite experience, so i'm wondering if there are others that have gone through the same.
No. 333902
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>>333857NTA, but:
>constantly complaining about gay men not fucking themLMAO, most of us don’t give a flying fuck, also the whole “lesbians only” is a fucking cope anyway, like every “x4x” shit anyway. “huuuhh duuh, it's just about prioritizing and loving our equals”, so why are y’all always sperging about how evil mean bisexuals are just spicy straight with a kink who break pwoor lesbian hearts dumping them for men, that most bisexual women marry men, that we flirt with lesbians just because we want to do threesomes with our Nigels, that we treat lesbians like men, that being dumped by a man is worse than being dumped by another woman, etc? Men, men, men. Bihet this, bihet that. It's you all who are constantly complaining when we don't fuck/date you. I still haven't met a "no bi rule" who wasn't just an embittered lescel with trust and self-esteem issues.
>not validating their NigelLMAO, all we want is for you all to stop acting like we magically turn straight just because we're in a straight RELATIONSHIP, as if we weren't complete people whose lives did not revolve around our current romantic relationship. (Picrel is a retard, but the broken clock thing)
No. 333919
>>333902AYRT, I'm not a lesbian, dumbass. I'm here in the bi thread because I'm bisexual. I can't believe you attached your picrel unironically kek, the post is stupid as fuck. But your post is stupid as fuck too, so I guess it's consistent. Honestly depressing having to share a sexuality with people like you.
>>333872see above
No. 333920
>>333902AYRT, I'm not a lesbian, dumbass. I'm here in the bi thread because I'm bisexual. I can't believe you attached your picrel unironically kek, the post is stupid as fuck. But your post is stupid as fuck too, so I guess it's consistent. Honestly depressing having to share a sexuality with people like you.
>>333872see above
No. 333925
>>333902chill & take your meds bpd-chan
>I still haven't met a "no bi rule" who wasn't just an embittered lescelNow you know damn well this is a lie, I seriously hesitate to date another bi woman for good reasons call me a hypocrite idc. If you live in an alternate reality where this shit isn't happening constantly, I'd like directions…
https://www.reddit.com/r/BiWomen/comments/13tl39q/went_on_a_date_40_mins_by_bus_as_i_was_waiting/Dating apps are litterally unusable right now because of lying kinsey 1&2s with boyfriends endangering everyone else. Yet we can't address this type of issue in our community without unstable gals like you blowing a gasket every time it's brought up, it's always the meanie dykes faults, the degenerate bi men with aids etc etc. Everyone but us somehow. I've come to accept the bi community is a lost cause and I want nothing to do with it at this point, full of crazies.
>ib4 dyke worshipper screedNo I don't spend my time larping as a lesbian (like I know many other kinsey 5s do) or dying to date one either, I've come to terms with living and dying alone. It probably contradicts your mental illness but maybe stop caring so much if people don't want to date or validate you.
No. 333934
>>333932You don't have to be radfem to be rational.
Any woman caping for troons is deluded.
No. 333946
>>333920>I'm here in the bi thread because I'm bisexual.Not necessarily, non-bi lurkers are a thing.
>>333925>take your meds bpd-chan>It probably contradicts your mental illness but maybe stop caring so much if people don't want to date or validate you.Said the clearly self-hating validation freak desesperate for "nice bi points". If I was desperate for lesbian attention I'd be acting like you.
> Yet we can't address this type of issue in our community without unstable gals like you blowing a gasket every time it's brought up, it's always the meanie dykes faults, the degenerate bi men with aids etc etc. Everyone but us somehow.And why should we all be blamed for some unicorn hunting poly retards? They tend to harass us more than lesbians (because for them bi = slutty and available) and, hell, some of them are even just hetties trying to please their nigels. Btw, I've never seen this kind of hate directed at bi men coming from bi women, especially because we tend to be labeled “degenerates with STDs” too.
>I don't spend my time larping as a lesbian or dying to date one either, I've come to terms with living and dying aloneLMAO, ok. But it's usually the self-pitying types like you who go polilez and then cry about “boo hoo mean goldstars" not dating and validating you.
>>333932>>333941Yeah, but this was never a place famous for being welcoming of troons. No idea why the "DNI/report and block to stay safe" types would be here. It's not a question of being prohibited, it's just weird.
No. 334001
>>333946>it’s polys! Muh hetties!Right I wonder between the troon & bi community who wins the no-true-scotsman-fallacy award. Seems to be a competition. Whenever trannies do something wrong, the Troon in question in Never A RealTroonTM. Whenever some bi’s weirdo behaviour is rightfully called out, it’s always a hettie masquarading as one of us. Allied in perpetual victimhood of imposters muddying our good name it seems, we should form a committee.
>trying to please their nigels.The biggest Nigel pleasers around are kinsey1&2s, even more than the avg straight woman and it’s a known fact, this is a self-dunk lol. You really think it’s a coincidence most polys are bi?
>self-hatingAh yes, the internalised biphobia accusation. You sound about as coherent and mentally developed as the average twitterite flinging her “internalised misogyny” trump card whenever called out for her insane displays, lumping all women with her own retardoid tendencies. It’s truly sad that all sane bisexuals are being run off with these inane accusations of self-bigotry for having an ounce of self-reflection and self-critical abilities, meanwhile the dangerously unmedicated continue running their mouths claiming to represent us. A fucking sinking ship.
>inb4 accusations of lezzie worship x2Yawn. I’m not the one who threw the most pathetic tantrum because lesbians find her undateable + no one cares to validate your precious bi iDeNtITy when you’re dating Nigel. Now that’s self-hatred.
Maybe learn2read, did I say I dated lesbians? Spelling it out for you: I don’t because I have dignity. It’s obvious any actual self-hating bi would simply larp as fully gay like many already do to avoid associating with the giant embarrassment the bi community currently is. Instead I’m wasting my time engaging with weeping idiots like you, trying to clean house. Fool’s errand really.
>cherry on top, irrelevant goldstar mention Your obsession and hatred is overflowing. What makes you think I would have issues with goldstars? LMAO Your kind is the only one totally obsessed with them and throwing a wobbly every 5 minutes about their existence, the inferiority complex is astounding to witness. Even though I’ve never slept with a male I am not retarded enough to believe I have anything to do with the goldstar concept because I’m not a lesbian. Please grow a brain ASAP I beg you.
These bpd-typical projections are so unoriginal it’s not even entertaining.
No. 334023
>>333902>>333946I agree with you
nonny. If the others want to be the "good bisexual who knows her place in the alphabet hierarchy" that's their choice. This thread is for our experiences, adversities and opinions as bisexual women. Any other anon should and is free to nag, moan, hate and vent about anything and anyone (yes even the giga uwuoppressed lesbians that have it bad/worse, no one should be on a pedestal because of oppression points). The whole alphabet can go maim each other in their spaces, just leave us alone and in pace, stop coming as the moral speech/thought police to correct preach us into "submitting" and "learning" our place.
No. 334059
>>334023>submitting and learning our placeNo one is using this sort of language except for you. I'll remind everyone that the thing that
triggered this is a homophobic anon saying she enjoys seeing homosexual people shat on by homophobes because she felt boolied by them. Anons pointed out "huh, that's fucked up" and now we have a handful of people reeeeeing about being FORCED TO SUBMIT and LEARN THEIR PLACE when asked not to be homophobic. Pretty good representation of everything wrong with the bisexual community in just one day of posts itt.
No. 334062
>>334001>it’s polys! Muh hetties!>no-true-scotsman-fallacySince being polyamorous does not exclude being bi, how is this is a no-true-scotsman-fallacy? And at no time did I say that there are no trashy bis, just that hets ALSO do that and nobody talks about them.
> The biggest Nigel pleasers around are kinsey1&2s, even more than the avg straight woman and it’s a known fact, this is a self-dunk lol. You really think it’s a coincidence most polys are bi?Proofs? Also, Kinsey was a pedo apologist, let this stupid scale die.
> I’m not the one who threw the most pathetic tantrum because lesbians find her undateable I don't care if some random lesbians finds me dateable or not and I thought I made that explicit since my first post. I just said Les4Les (generally) is a cope, because IT’S (generally) a cope, like most Something4Somethings are. Also, either we are straight fakers who don’t really like women and will dump them for moids or we are desperate for attention from lezzies, can't be both. Sorry not sorry.
> no one cares to validate your precious bi iDeNtITy when you’re dating Nigel.Yeah, it's precious to me. Sorry you don't feel this way, self-hater.
> Your kind is the only one totally obsessed with them> What makes you think I would have issues with goldstars?Nope, they're based and actual lesbians, unlike self-hating bisexuals who adopt the comphet/polilez discourse and then they attack the ones who don't claim a fake label. And you don't have issues with them now because you hasn't turned a fakebian yet, are just a proto one.
>>334023Thank you,
nonny. Btw, i will stop here bc >> 333950
nonny is right and the last nonnas have a point about probably being a troll/baiter. I hate conflict, I just find it enraging when whenever some bi vent about not feeling welcomed by the rest of the acronym's letters there's ALWAYS some braindead idiot who brings the "huuuhhh duuuhhh, Les4Les don't have to fuck with you" retarded strawman. Yeah, we know, we don't care and the conversation had nothing to do with it, asshole. Same with the whole “Nigel haver/haven't” discourse. I’m just so tired.
No. 334065
>>334059> the thing that triggered this is a homophobic anon saying she enjoys seeing homosexual people shat on by homophobes because she felt boolied by them. >Anons pointed out "huh, that's fucked up" and now we have a handful of people reeeeeing about being FORCED TO SUBMIT and LEARN THEIR PLACE when asked not to be homophobic. That's not what happened. I have no idea what happened in the other thread, but what pissed me off was this “bi women are constantly complaining about lesbians not fucking them or not validating their Nigel” implication of
>>333857 as if we don't have actual reasons for not trusting non-bis, including straight people and gay moids. Also this whole “boo hoo i hate being bi, i hate this community” annoying self-pitying of you all. She was just defending lesbians when she literally said that bisexual women tend to be “the biggest Nigel pleasers around” out of nowhere?
No. 334450
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>>333902>stupid opinion that treats bi women as a monolith, assumes we've all dated men>"no febfems"Is this the part where I have to pretend to be shocked?
No. 334498
>>333363>they do this just to fuck with us. its evil.I'm not familiar with this phenomenon. Are they generally rude people or do they seek out autistics? Maybe it's just a misunderstanding? I'm not autistic so I wouldn't know.
>>333925This actually made me so angry. Imagine the audacity to bring along a nigel without telling anyone. I can see why lesbians distrust us
No. 334543
I just feel like getting this off my chest I guess. I am bi, and dont care to make that known to anyone irl unless it is very specifically somehow relevant to the situation (never is, why would it be) and I am dating a man, probably marriage soon . I havent been attracted to women to the point of "I see a future with this woman- sharing living space, finances, buying a house, adult mundane crap" but I also struggled very heavily with internalized misogyny being raised in a borderline religious cult as a 'gnc' (is there a better word yet) woman. I am much more sexually attracted to women, and realized that when I still couldnt help but find this one woman I worked with insatiably beautiful despite having the shittiest personality I have ever had the displeasure of encountering kek. With men, physical attraction is so so so rare, until I get to know them and appreciate their personality and traits. I love my nigel and I feel like a future with him is very right, but I am not attracted to his body very much these days as he just doesnt take care of himself. I dont like muscular bro men but I wish he would realize his ass cheeks hang like heavy drapes and take the stairs every once in a while kek. I like penis, I think dick is fun. But I also am not huge on having stuff inside of me. I wonder sometimes if my sexuality, had it not been influenced by my environment so heavily, would have ended up more female attracted physically as well as romantically. Idk. I feel like my nigel and I are best friends and sometimes lovers, idk if its because we are working through some long term planning hiccups or what. Ive really been missing physical intimacy but at the moment I am unwilling to initiate anything, idk why. Just some underlying stress w nigel that turns me off i guess. I wish that werent the case. I feel bad reading here when some nonnas kind of bash bi girls in straight relationships. I know only a couple people irl know Ive dated women but it didnt go anywhere. I do seem to have better chemistry with men overall. I think thats a me problem though- it is hard to say. I dont give a shit about pride and being pround, I just want to be. At the moment I am tempted to find a woman online who might want to just trade pics or something kek but thats also really creepy to admit cuz all the ways that might go wrong. I suppose i am at the point in the bi cycle, being sex deprived, i really wanna just find a cool chill lady and have some fun. But I feel guilty bc of my relationship (which he is cool with me doing things w ladies very casually if I tell him and stay honest, but I havent done that with him yet.) I feel like my attraction should be aimed at him first but that just isnt happening. If I stay honest to any potential woman i am afraid of being a 'spicy straight' and cheapening her experience because of it? Idk. I guess I just want to say I think women are attractive and get that out there since it feels like a deep kept secret of mine kek.
No. 334627
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>>334544It's some essential tumblr cringecore
No. 334785
File: 1686507682126.jpg (54.5 KB, 500x375, aaaaaaa.jpg)
A couple of weeks ago, I locked eyes with a girl while at work and felt an instant connection. She seemed to give off strong LGBT vibes (though my 'gaydar' is broken and I think my attraction is always one-sided). The next day, I discovered she was my new coworker. Unfortunately I found out she has a boyfriend. But I'm still befriending her and going to hang out with her outside of work because, I don't know, I guess I'm a beta orbiter? I feel so dumb and pathetic.
I live like a hermit outside of work/school, and she's one of the few people I've met in my life I actually click with. Talking with her is effortless and enjoyable. I'm really grateful for just being able to talk to her and be near her, though it does hit me in the feels liking someone who's unavailable.
I'm also hesitant about telling her I'm bisexual (if I even should?). I worry she might (understandably) not want to talk to me anymore. Part of me wonders if she already knows, because I get nervous and clumsy around her, and I stare at her a lot when we're not talking (sorry am a sperg) and try to be near her. She's also the only person at work I bother having actual conversations with. With my other coworkers, I only exchange short pleasantries to avoid being fired for not integrating socially, like what happened at my last job (fuck retail).
No. 334883
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>>333891YES I WENT THROUGH THIS! I went to an all girls high school and pretty much knew as soon as I started that I liked women, and then I became the token 'experiment' because I was the only one who figured out what I wanted…just to end up turning 16 and meeting the first boy i'd ever been attracted to. Back then I felt bad that i'd 'co opted' the label lesbian when I ended up not being one, but now I'm sometimes glad because dating men is so much easier, societally I mean. I also almost exclusively attracted to butch women and normal men so I find way more men I'm attracted to than butch women, unfortunately.
No. 334942
>>334785I wouldn't being up being bisexual to her unless it's important for her to know for some reason, which I can't imagine it is. Don't shit where you eat anon. If you tell her one of 3 things can happen:
>Nothing. She says "cool" and moves on. This is the best possibility.>She tries to rope you into her bfs threesome fantasy. Shockingly this isn't even the worst outcome.>She's creeped out and tells everyone at work that you're a creepy lesbo and you get to tiptoe around any interaction with everyone forever.Just don't, don't bring up your sexuality at work ever if you can POSSIBLY avoid it.
No. 335018
>>334999Guess I havent been on dating apps for quite a few years, def not since
everyone was a little bi I guess. Kek. That makes perfect sense. Idk how I both held the belief that its taboo to be mostly straight and pisses off true and honest lesbians yet also knowing how sexually fluid everyone seems to be these days esp due to trendiness.
No. 335083
>>335064imagine loving your best friend, sexually
thats pretty much what lesbian sex is like
No. 335270
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ever since I had my bisexual awakening I feel like I’m going through a second puberty. It’s like I’m a teenager all over again and the smallest things or tamest ideas make me debilitatingly horny. This is actually becoming exhausting for me because I don’t have a way to act on it (am retarded). I’ve literally had to ban myself from thinking about female celebrities I like while driving because I started missing all my turns and getting to work late. Has this happened to anyone else? When does it fucking end?
No. 335345
>>335088>>335064I am also very social-script reliant. I can't be comfortable with something in the future unless I've imagined it over and over and over again (perhaps you are similar?).
It might help to consume more media with complex female characters who are in relationships with one another, preferably created by women. Or write your own stories, if you're into that. Also, meet and talk to other women who are dating women. Follow lesbians/women-centered bi women on social media.
It's hard when the only idea of a female-female relationship that's been drilled into your head is "two sexy femmes sexing it up for men!" It will just invade your mind, unwanted, similar to the way society-induced body image issues tend to creep in. Seeing lesbians/bi women more regularly helps it sink in that "oh shit this is possible, people do this and so can I."
I currently can't imagine dating a man despite previously trying very hard to enjoy them in the past. A natural sexual preference for women helps.
No. 335643
>>335345Thanks for the response anon. I thought of that myself with the media thing but it sucks how much wlw content is just tranny/male pandering (esp webtoons and manhua which I like to read).
It’s funny that I even have this problem because as a child I was usually into girls/women. I had little sexual attraction to men irl despite trying to force it many times until the age of 18 when something changed after I started dating a guy friend of mine.
I guess the thing I struggle with is that my potential relationships to women are so different from that of men. With women I can be friends with them without the likely escalation of sex or dating, whereas with men it’s nearly always a given that it will end up that way. Also because female sexuality is a bit different from men’s—I usually end up with ugly men because of social conditioning to find some merit in their personality but with women I’m much more comfortable just saying that I’m not attracted to them and want to be friends. It’s almost like every guy I encounter there’s a thought to give him a chance whereas I never question that with women around me. The feelings of platonic connection vs romantic connection are very distinct for me with women. I find that I can tell right off the bat when I’m attracted to a woman and it makes me realize how this must be the norm for us in heterosexual interactions by default but het/bi women have been brainwashed to really give all men in our age range a chance. Kinda off topic but I wonder if anyone relates to experiencing completely different attractions to men and women wherein one is more lenient/forgiving than the other, which is more right off the bat in terms of knowing whether you see them romantically or not.
No. 335786
File: 1686900430045.jpg (1 MB, 3072x2048, 1645273327636.jpg)
I downloaded a dating app for the first time in my lime. I'm exclusively liking women, but no one is matching with me and only a few have liked me. But men keep liking my profile left and right. Is this just what bi dating is like? Or am I just undesirable to my fellow women/are men just liking any women they come across and I shouldn't think to deep about it?
No. 336009
>>335786What app are you using? From my experience though this seems like a universal experience across dating apps. I usually get so sick of it I turn off my visibility to men, also it's annoying as fuck when you think a woman has liked you and it turns out it's a TIM. It's not completely hopeless though, I've met a few women on apps, it just seems to require more effort and patience. Also
>>335917 I've had the same problem with short replies in the past, sometimes it feels like there's an expectation to carry the conversation the way a desperate man might and it feels awkward.
No. 336075
>>335917Meeting women outside of apps is the answer, nona. Getting out in the world and engaging with interest groups and making new friends is always the healthiest, even for the hetties.
Unless your country is super homophobic, in which case I'm sorry it's like that.
No. 336152
File: 1687050311979.jpeg (68.74 KB, 492x492, 1637342759903.jpeg)
I've never really understood the "hehe ur just spicy straight"/"bisexual women not real" thing. I grew up with people thinking I was a lesbian for reasons I couldn't understand, and I still get mockingly called a "lesbian" because I'm attracted to effeminate men (but then they turn around and call me "straight" because I'm attracted to butch women). Seems like you can't really win. Also, it comes off as so dishonest and pathetic when people bringing up obviously desperate straight women "opening" their relationship and trying to find other women for their moids to fuck as "bisexual women activity". Like they're just looking for any excuse to dunk on bi women, even when they know what's actually going on. I feel like bisexual men don't get any of this shit. People sometimes call them gay, but at least they don't try to deny their same-sex attraction altogether. Straight women often lose interest or find it disgusting, though, so maybe it balances out. Whatever.
No. 336160
File: 1687055149030.png (143.93 KB, 645x902, scaredofvaginas.png)
>>336152Tbf nona, the current kweer line of thought is to take everyone at their word about their identity regardless of how nonsensical or obnoxious it is, so in the eyes of wokefolx any straight woman who says she's bi even though she openly finds vagina disgusting is totally
valid and if you suggest she's really straight you're an evil gatekeeper. i know that wasn't the main point of your post though, it just doesn't help people's attitudes towards actual bi women. a lot of the same kind of "everything is
valid" people seem convinced bi men are all softbois in touch with their feminine side when really they're just like straight scrotes except they also like dick.
No. 336179
>>336152This. Though I also agree with
>>336160 I feel like it's such an unfair situation for bi women who get questioned constantly just because some kweerio activist types make posts about bisexuality for clout. Even here I've had anons tell me "lol every hetty bettie basic staight girl thinks she's bi" when I've made a short post about my experiences crushing on a girl and acting weird about it because I was a lonely sperg.
And I relate to your post a lot, because I'm mainly attracted to "feminine" men and "masculine" women, and because I've always been tomboyish myself, people seem to assume I'm lesbian by default. I suspect this is why guys rarely even approach me. They put me in this token lesbian one of the guys category, and the type of men I'd be attracted to (effeminate bookish guys) tend to be somehow intimidated by me. I'd rather date women anyway so it doesn't matter that much, but I mention this because it's been like this basically my whole life and it's wildly different from the idea that some people seem to have of bi women's experiences.
No. 336181
>>336152Actually…yeah, offline no one ever assumes I'm hetero or bihet. I do get they-them'd but I've full-on had friends I'm out to as bi be weird when I mention liking men in my past. Albeit also effeminate and delicate men. I do openly prefer women, however.
This is likely not relatable, but in high school I had an acquaintance who also thought I was a young gay boy for months since I was fat, ugly, masculine, and sound androgynous. This was pre-gender times and makes me laugh now. The bihet experience is not a narrative I can identify with given all of this.
No. 336185
>>336181>in high school I had an acquaintance who also thought I was a young gay boy for monthsOh fucking hell nona I'm
>>336179 and almost exactly the same thing happened to me. I had a buzzcut in high school and people at first assumed I was a guy and then seemed super confused when I said my name which is a female name. However, one dude I talked to semi-regularly thought I was a boy for whole six months, due to him being an immigrant and thus not knowing the gender of rarer names like mine. He couldn't believe it when it was revealed to him I was a girl.
No. 337341
Do any nonas relate to this?
I get crushes on moids easier but that's all there is to it. It's all a manic dopamine rush that I feed off for a month at max and then it shrivels to dust. I can't imagine actually settling down with any moid I crush on, or even getting too emotionally close, because men are emotional retards with neanderthal levels of empathy. I used to pin this on a super dismissive-avoidant attachment style but the idea of being in a long-term relationship with a moid, waking up and making breakfast and doing chores or studying together repulses me. I think I care about them whenever I'm riding the manic high, but once it drops, I usually feel nothing but disgust.
I don't know, I guess I just don't think it's possible to have a wholly fulfilling and soul bound type relationship with a moid? I crave emotional intimacy, so how can we fully connect entirely if there's parts of me (terf) he can never relate to or understand?
On the other hand, when it comes to women, I can imagine all these things. Living a normal life, doing not-so-pretty human things around them because they're women with empathy. I can see myself actually opening up and all my avoidance fading around them, and the attraction is slow but it's a more genuine, actual love.
I've never felt the dopamine high with a woman though, which made me think I was probably faking being attracted to women when I was a teenager. The long-term, marriage phase is 100 times better than any crush honeymoon phase though and I'm glad I've experienced it.
No. 337621
File: 1687728179730.jpg (28.18 KB, 736x724, 69d3a1c7229f51ccc1c815c9e546a5…)
tw:// religious trauma, csa
I'm sorry if any of you nonas relate to this. let me state that I grew up in a very dysfunctional religious household and gay rights in my country are basically non-existent, homophobia is literally encouraged here. emotionally avoidant parents who didn't monitor mine and my older sister's internet access didn't make it any better. my older sister (who's 6 years older than me) got exposed to pornography at the young age and then she molested me when I was around 5-7, this wasn't one time thing though, it lasted for a while, I didn't fully understand the nature of it, what she was doing to me and I was "going along with it". I was thinking at some point that it was "consensual" up until 12, that's when I recalled those events and had a heavy mental breakdown upon realization. I never brought it up with her or anyone. I locked it away somewhere deep in my subconscious.
Now why I chose this as a premise - I have been identifying as a bisexual since early teens. I'm 18 now. I sometimes feel guilty, wondering if my homosexual attraction is just a trauma response or feeling sexually repressed from religious trauma, that all of this is wrong and I'm "dirty". this lead me to being unable to connect with people romantically, not literally, I have had many options but I couldn't bring myself to pursue them. I still feel like a social outcast despite not having much issues when it comes to socializing, I'm retarded I must admit. As other nonas mentioned, I experience this "bi-cycle" phenomena, I find myself more attracted to males physically but I can't imagine myself in a life-long relationship with them, I'm very much planning on settling down with a woman at the very end, maybe somewhere in a small european town, away from the evils of this world.(learn2integrate)
No. 337719
>>337469"I like to use my sexuality to be a pick-me and objectify other women with my misogynistic scrote" basically.
However, if you're both bisexual women and objectify men together like they deserve, based kek
No. 338112
File: 1688012414900.jpg (21.72 KB, 640x528, WExSgeB.jpg)
Does anyone have any advice on coming out to your middle eastern mother? (She's a 1st gen immigrant, we currently live in the states). As a young febfem, I think it's important that she knows so it doesn't come as a shock if Im with another woman.
She is not highly traditional or religious and is not strictly by the books, says she doesn't mind that gays exist but gets mixed reactions when she hears about all the woke degenerate activist shit that goes on during pride month. It's so tough when LGBs are constantly lumped in with "Kweer activism" that makes us look like a joke. Obviously she understands that not all gays stand for this crap, but it sure does get in the way of gaining support when it does happen. Sometimes having discussions about LGB politics with her introduce nuance and understanding.
I love my mom. She's always been there for me. The very least thing that could happen is she would not look at me the same, or would believe I'm wrapped up in this "2SLGBTQIAP+ cult" and get politics involved. The worst being that I could be disowned, although I doubt it'd come to that (her and I are close), but that possibility of my muslim mother, born and raised in a homophobic country, suddenly turning on me is a very terrifying thought.
How should I handle this? Anyone else have experieince/success stories/advice? Best ways to casually come out?
No. 338113
>>338112Westerners emphasize coming out too much. It doesn't need to be a production. Simply tell her when it becomes relevant. You probably wouldn't tell her about fancying a man, but would likely inform her if you had a male partner, so treat it the same.
You didn't mention in your post if you are dependent on her in any way; if you are, then wait until you are independent i.e. have shelter and money of your own.
I think most first-gen immigrants are more accepting than many people would think, but they do emphasize community perception. The best way to convey to her that nothing about you will change by dating a woman is to already be dating a woman.
No. 338191
>>338113>Simply tell her when it becomes relevant.That's what I planned on doing. I don't want it to become a huge deal so I've always thought that I could just casually mention it instead of having a long conversation.
The only reason I really ask about how to come out is because there's so much more divided conversation about sexuality these days. As for dependancy, I'm attending Uni and she's helping me pay half my tuition and residence costs (I'm also working part time and paying for myself). I honestly don't think i'd be cut off financially bc as long as I'm getting high marks and working hard, she'll want me to keep going.
>best way to convey to her that nothing about you will change by dating a woman is to already be dating a woman.The only thing about this is I know it can sometimes be a huge deal if someone's partner is not already out to their parents, (the whole "this relationship isn't serious enough that you haven't told your parents about me yet" thing). Which makes me wonder if it's in my best interest to mention it before or after I get a girlfriend.
No. 338204
>>338191>The only thing about this is I know it can sometimes be a huge deal if someone's partner is not already out to their parentsyou're overthinking it and should cross the bridge when you come to it. find a girlfriend first, then have a conversation with your mother. the vast majority of bisexual and lesbian women have been in your shoes and the right partner will understand your situation. you're young as well, so it's not unusual to not be out to family yet.
>The only reason I really ask about how to come out is because there's so much more divided conversation about sexuality these days. bisexuality is a sexual orientation, not a political identity. there will always be annoying ~kweerz~, just like there will always be vocal idiots in any group. your mother can draw her own conclusions about where you land in the politicized landscape simply from your past, current, and future behavior.
focus on being confident in yourself and your orientation, making connections with other women, and exploring romance and sexual relationships. the rest will come naturally and with time. don't get ahead of yourself and dampen the joy of the experiences you could be having.
No. 338215
>>338204Thanks for the motivation anon :) It feels reassuring knowing there's other lesbians and bisexuals in similar situations. I'm probably overthinking it too much and should take things slow.
Sometimes meeting women who are also gay can be difficult to spot. Especially in my very liberal area most gay women end up transitioning later or are very under-radar and I can't tell if they're gay. At this point I might just sign up for dating apps or something.
(:)) No. 338257
File: 1688074046819.jpg (60.35 KB, 919x720, 123y134y3.jpg)
Do you use dating apps to meet women? I have used Her, but got annoyed to its wokeness (need to pick pronouns etc.) I tried Tinder now but it is hard to tell if the women are into women. There are profiles that say "I love dad bods", probably not on women though.
No. 339876
File: 1689126487769.jpg (155.69 KB, 900x900, graysonsprojects.jpg)
>>339694>fancyhi, fellow bibong?there is just something about unattainable straight girls, i agree. i have an unfortunate weakness for taken monogamous opposite sex leaning bi people too. pic not really related, just think she's cute
No. 340268
God, give me enough strength to refrain from replying to
>>340264 with another pathetic "ofc this true for many bi girls, but I'm not like them!"
No. 340299
>>340268there's not much we can do about it
nonny. that anon clearly speaks from experience, i can't imagine it feels great having this shit happen to you time and time again. i hate seeing posts like that but i can't say i blame lesbians for being put off by bisexual women honestly
>>340298you're more likely to see it on lolcow more than anywhere else tbh. you get a lot of febfems who want to suck up to lesbians and theres also a ton of bi users here who talk about only wanting to be with women & cursing their attraction to men
No. 340312
File: 1689401489040.png (85.89 KB, 385x385, pepe5647587.png)
I've been having a stupid long distance crush for two years that I've done nothing about bc I'm socially retarded, but now I happened to get a chance to talk to her a bit and found out that
>she's probably straight (had a rainbow tote bag when I first met her so I had hopes but maybe it was an ally thing)
>she smokes (ew)
>she's 10 years my senior (never would've guessed, she looks young in the face)
All of the above contributing to my crush fading away slowly, which I'm honestly relieved by because it would've never happened anyway. She's still cute tho and really nice so I enjoyed talking to her.
Just wanted to vent, tfw no gf etc., but I hope I'll meet someone someday.
No. 341220
>>340316late bloomer?
>>340393I relate to this a bit… I’m sexually attracted to both but I fell 0 romantic attraction towards any man, never fell in love with a man and I really doubt it will ever happen, which really is for the best.
>For the record I’ve only dated women and plan to keep it that way since the average scrote makes me feel nauseous.twin lol
No. 341230
File: 1689965396064.jpeg (88.28 KB, 530x690, 6C51948A-56DD-4B2C-855E-FD039A…)
nonnies i’m dying recently i‘m bi but i only have crushes on rockstars not real life guys i’ve never had a crush or sexual attraction to a real life guy and the rockstars i like are all glam rock 70s/80s androgynous bastards (i can’t like androgynous guys now bc they’re not manly and are theythem troon retards). i’ve never even been or done anything with a guy but same with girls but i realllyyy want to get off with a girl but idk how i’d ever go about it. like how do i find a hot, NORMAL girl willing to do shit ughhhhhvbvvbbbh i only like girls that seem straight too also picrel bc michael monroe is the finest example of androgynous king
No. 342850
File: 1690909615664.jpg (49.77 KB, 737x737, cute crying cat.jpg)
Ever since last night I've been overcome by an overwhelming sense of love for bisexual women and I literally feel like my heart is about to burst. Whether you lean straight or gay, I love you all so much, you're all awesome and amazing. The world needs you and I love you.
No. 342873
File: 1690925351735.jpg (247.07 KB, 1400x1400, half-life-gordon-freeman-alyx-…)
>playing Half-Life 2 as a kid
>Gordon is the player character
>everything is supposed to be seen through his eyes
>meet Alyx
>wow she's so cute!
>wow she's literally me!
>but cooler!
>Alyx is also teased as a love interest for Gordon
>good for her she deserves to be loved
>wait do I want to be like her or
>do I actually want to be with her??
>girls can be together like that, right???
>but I'm a guy in the game and it's not real so I guess it shouldn't matter anyway…
>Gordon is a blank state so the player can project whatever onto him
>as Gordon Freeman I feel the need to be a good boyfriend to a woman as cool and cute as Alyx Vance (who is literally me but also not Me but also who I'd really like to be but also who I'd really like to date)
>and so my headcanon of Gordon is pretty much a lovable Nigel for Alyx because that's what I feel she (I?) deserves
>end up crushing on him too
>still would happily do either of them
lol me
No. 343262
File: 1691202720902.jpg (89.45 KB, 1024x768, depositphotos_96942904-stock-p…)
Was anyone a late bisexuality bloomer who fell for a person of the gender they previously hadn't been interested in at all, but then after that initial person, started finding other people of that gender attractive? I didn't used to be into women at all, but after falling for one woman in my mid twenties i suddenly started being attracted to other women too. I feel like she literally unlocked a universe that would never have been available to me if I hadn't encountered her as the instigator. But logically, this doesn't make any sense to me if we accept that sexuality doesn't change. Thinking about this makes me really curious about the mechanisms behind sexuality, but I know that's a taboo topic. I understand why it's taboo, but it is frustrating sometimes to be without answers about yourself.
No. 343364
File: 1691279532506.jpeg (185.89 KB, 976x1523, CFF8B5A8-85C1-4816-8484-F7C34C…)
Sorry for long unwarranted relationship rant- I’ve been thinking about women more and more while in a long term relationship with a man that I’m ending soon. I question my bi sexuality because I have a hard time imagining being sexual with a woman, but I’m not a very sexual person to begin with at this point in my life. But also sometimes I feel like I don’t respect men and that’s why I have had sex with them, and I put women on a pedestal. It could just be that I’m put off by men idk but I’d be pretty happy just living with a woman instead. I’m still interested in the idea of a partnership, but I find women so much more appealing and often times sexier. I’ve been with someone who over time became a man child. I apologize to non confused bisexuals and lesbians for my and others confusions, I realize it isn’t fair when it comes to dating. Hence why I’m hiding in a hole for 20 years after this relationship
No. 343379
File: 1691289669119.jpg (454.55 KB, 710x700, abiduction.jpg)
>>343318I mean, that would make the most sense from an outside perspective, but I know in my case I was not repressing anything. For most of my life I actually lamented being straight (am a man hater) but realized after trying as a teen I couldn't force myself to be attracted to women so I just made my peace with my heterosexual lot in life and decided to be a celibate.
So how does it make sense that now, years later, I suddenly am uncontrollably fantasizing about pussy? Was the woman I fell for just so objectively sexy I had a stroke and rewired my sexuality? Did aliens abduct me and replace the sex part of my brain? If so, thank you aliens.
What was extra weird is it felt like I went through the same stages of developing sexual attraction that i did as a pre-teen all over again but for women. Not to be gross and tmi, but for example of what i mean, I remember the first sexual thoughts i had as a kid related to feeling funny when I imagined
men peeing… then when I got a crush on a woman the first thing that made me feel funny was imagining the same thing, and it evolved from there just like it did the first time. So it literally felt like I witnessed myself growing a new branch of sexuality.
A born again pussy eater, if you will. So like, what the fuck?
No. 343576
>>343573ayrt, i get that too. Sometimes I get really jealous that I can't ever experience being inside a woman and it pisses me off so I try not to think about it kek. I also have retarded fantasies about
ejaculating against her cervix and making her pregnant and again i think for me it's another example of my tendency for sex-ception where I want her and also self-insert into what she's feeling all at once. I feel like it's fucked up and maybe something is wrong with me for being this way so i would never admit it anywhere but here. But then again i wonder if this is just what it's like to be bi and attracted to both "POV"s of heterosexual sex. Although it's probably more likely that I'm just weird.
No. 343715
>>343615I'm
>>343573 and it makes me so happy to know other bi anons have similar experiences. Outside of this thread I've never seen this discussed
even though I follow several bi FB groups. I'm sort of GNC, mostly androgynous if anything and always felt like I had to be "pretty"/more feminine to appeal to men and the loudest het leaning bi women. I used to be a bit of a fujo too and switched to mostly reading M/F for the same reason you mentioned. I wouldn't think fantasies like
>>343576 are a universal bi experience but it's great to know they're not totally unheard of
No. 344244
>>344135>>344144DA out of curiosity do you think this is because the majority of bi women strongly prefer men? afaik this isn't proven or anything but it's what seems to be true to me after being out for 10+ years. It always feels a bit disingenuous to me when other bi people say the reason for partnering with the opposite sex is that it's "a numbers game". I really think if the majority were equally into both sexes or preferred the same sex then the most talked about bi discussions wouldn't be pointless stuff like whether it's "still
valid" to be in an M/F relationship.
No. 345192
I posted before about my issues (although not sure if it was in this thread) regarding a completely fluid sexuality, but I'm at such a loss with how to deal with this that these days i often feel like I don't want to keep living when I think about this going on forever. I'm just exhausted. I go through 100% gay periods where I'm disgusted my men, 100% straight periods where I'm disgusted by women, and 100% asexual periods (but weirdly, not physically, just mentally; I get horny but am disgusted by both sexes and so have no outlet). I can't relate to myself from other periods to the point I gaslight myself about my past, even my recent past feelings. Since the current phase always seems so "obvious" in the moment, I berate myself for having been so stupid before, ad infinitum. I started journaling my feelings on this topic on a regular basis so that when one of my alternate sexuality doppelgangers takes over and tries to say past me was lying or stupid, i can re-read my entries and see it was real. But even that doesn't convince me. What I wrote always sounds like it was written by another person, that's how foreign it is to me when I read it back while in another phase.
Honestly lately the hardest part has been the asexual periods where I am disgusted by both men and women but still have a sex drive, it feels bizarre and impossible and alien-like to be extremely horny but can't think of a single thing that is sexually appealing.
I have seen people insist this means bisexuality, but I don't think it can be. I don't really have an internal sense of sexual identification because of my issues, but the one that feels the most wrong is bisexual. I am never in a bisexual phase where gay me and straight me come together. If they did, none of this would be so distressing, things would make sense.
I don't really have any faith in therapists, but at this point I am so close to the end of my rope I desperately want to try it. But my insurance is so bad I can't afford it. There's nowhere I can go for help. I am so romantically lonely that it hurts horribly, but there's no one on earth I could be happy dating long-term, as humans can't switch sexes at will and I become repulsed by men or women in when I'm in different phases. I think if I ever kill myself, I wouldn't even admit this issue in a note or anything, no one would understand and most people would think it's a stupid reason. This is probably the only place I will ever admit it.
No. 345486
>>345378I’m very much NOT into TIMs or TIFs.
I mean, all cute tomboys these days are TIFs and if they haven’t been on hormones yet then technically I think they’re cute but the gender identity is a turn off. I dread questions about sexuality and avoid them at all costs. Luckily no one really asks me. If they did I’d probably just laugh off the question and change the topic I guess. I kind of sort of came out to my parents during a mental breakdown and described my problem and they didn’t get why it’s so distressing to me or why I was so upset about it. People online have told me the same thing too. So I realized that other people are never going to get it, which is why I will keep the reason to myself if I ever decide to kms.
No. 345815
File: 1692648846357.png (1.17 MB, 843x837, A5936C95-06E8-48DF-8A82-71AFDC…)
Anyone else a closeted bi? I feel so uncomfortable with my family knowing I’m bi, my mum and brother don’t believe it exists (kek) and call it being “greedy” and I have made some comments before so as not to seem suspicious when the entire fucking time I knew I was bisexual. They’d definitely perceive me differently, they seem to have this view that there is only gay or straight and being bisexual is some kind of sexual deviancy, even though I’m a virgin and have never had a gf/bf. I’m kind of having a crisis about this at the moment, I’m pining for a gf and I like girls a lot more than guys in general but it feels so fucking weird hiding like this when I’m extremely close to my family. It makes me feel sick tbh. Also, does anyone know the best dating app to meet girls with the least trannies? Her is pretty much off the table now, I tried it a few years ago and even then it was filled with trannies.
No. 346241
I have no choice but to admit at this point that I know I'm bisexual. I'm 24, and over the years I've found girls beautiful/hot/cute but I always wrote it off as just observing them aesthetically. There's a girl in my grad program who I saw last year and always thought she was cute, always liked when she spoke up in class. This year she sits next to me in one of my classes and I literally cannot focus around her, I'm so nervous and giddy when she talks to me. When she speaks up in class I hang on to her every word. I find everything she does, even just the way she brushes her hair from her forehead, so perfect and lovely. She has the softest looking hair and the most kissable lips I've ever seen. She's so classy and confident and smart. I made her laugh after class today and her smile and laugh were so beautiful to me I turned bright red and felt so overwhelmed that I got her to laugh at a joke I made.
Feeling so infatuated would be a wonderful feeling, except that I have a boyfriend right now. I either have to let the feelings fade or break up with him. I've felt similar feelings of infatuation toward him, but I also feel like men are objectively uglier, and I never want to just gaze at him in awe the way I do with her. Instead, I feel guilty and deceitful. I have no idea if she's interested in women either, so I don't want to break up just to shoot my shot with a straight woman. But god she's so lovely, she makes me wish I could paint better. Just wanted somewhere to admit this because I know there's no denying it to myself now.
No. 346276
>>345815I’m closeted because my sister is a lesbian and I’ve always felt a weird responsibility to be the straight one in the family. I also associate a lot of my bisexuality with porn and watching things I wasn’t supposed to as a kid so it makes me feel like a deviant. Sorry if I
trigger anyone with this btw.
No. 347471
Every time I get into a long term relationship with a man I start questioning if I'm gay. I've always considered myself bi, but when I date a man long enough I start thinking about women. Though, I'm not sure if it's just me emotionally detaching from the relationship at hand. I've been dating my bf for around a year now and he's great. He's sweet, loving, supportive. I (mostly) enjoy having sex with him. When it comes down to it though, I fantasise about women, being with them, having a relationship with a woman. Maybe I'm bi-cycling, maybe I'm running from something. But I don't know, I just don't feel my relationship feels…..complete. And I run into this issue every time. I used to think it was because I've had a history of abusive to just downright bad relationships with men, but being in a healthy one and still feeling this gut feeling, I don't know…. I'm lost.
No. 347782
>>347718AYRT I relate to that last bit for sure, part of it is the language they use like everything is always "
valid" and "queer" and even if all I do is say LGBT instead of LGBTTTTQK or not retweet dumb shit about hating JKR or trans rights I get the feeling I stick out like a sore thumb. Also tbh I have an unfortunate attraction to alt artsy women who are often enby (hate the word enby, it sounds like the name of a cartoon bus) types but often the way they describe being qweer is vague enough that I'm never 100% sure if they actually like pussy lmao. idk if this all sounds too negative, I used to be active in a few fandoms but haven't been for a while, would love to get into something with a high crypto population
No. 352052
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>>351895Reminiscing my teenage crush ("the one who got away") and developed a celeb crush on Billie Jean King. Now that I've finally admitted to myself that I'm probably bi I constantly daydream about having a gf but then do nothing about it and will probably be a virgin at 25 (turning next year). In other words, pretty pathetic I guess.
No. 352294
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>>347814I've had similar fantasies to you but she doesn't shit talk her boyfriend. He's frustratingly nice. They will probably end up marrying each other and I will probably marry my boyfriend one day. I feel bad because I've told her if she stopped dating her boyfriend I would date her immediately but while she's never responded negatively I think she thinks it's a joke.
No. 352371
>>352166I’m not being boy crazy over Hayden but something about frying my brain with star wars edits (especially Padme and Anakin) made my heart yearn for a hetero relationship after months of nonstop fantasising about being with a woman and asking her out ot treating her.
Yes i’m aware of how fucked up this sounds, I like messy fictional relationships but would never dream of being in one myself obviously.
I hope this makes sense.
I don’t mind honestly, it’s helping me get over something.
No. 353124
File: 1697388783704.jpg (242.27 KB, 1286x2048, __yumemi_riamu_and_sunazuka_ak…)
hey nonnas, this is kind of a vent post about being bisexual, i identify w/ being bi but sometimes feel as if im not really bi myself.
ive never dated a girl and had very few girl crushes, ive always thought about dating one but i never can put myself to do it. im not sure why, i just get paranoid and upset. it makes me feel weird. i always end up falling back to men, which i feel as if i prefer regardless. sometimes i do just want to only have sex with men, but i cannot ignore the fact i think dating girls would be cool too.
however, when i tried dating apps, none of the women there interested me. a lot of them were kind of shallow, they kept hugboxxing me, kept saying "ur so pwetty uwu" it made me so annoyed. they never wanted to talk just normally, it was a back and forth of "ur so pwetty" and "noooo staaaahp ur pwetty". i got at least some mildly more interesting convos from men, but i figured its because dating apps in general fucking suck. im at college but barely talk to anyone and still talk to long time friends from highschool, so i dont often meet new people.
i just think in general, i cannot relate to women or find other women who match my interests, energy, whatever. men often times fit these boxes and thats probably because im just more aligned with masculine interests or have a more masculine energy. i know butches exist, but fuck i havent met any that arent my friends. its a god damn struggle. which is why i dont know if im really bi when i have a lot of conflicting feelings about the same sex.
what do i do?
No. 355574
>>354385normally I wouldn't post in this thread but I saw this post while scrolling by and I feel the same way as you
I've been attracted to women sexually since puberty but I'm dubious of it since I got hooked on lesbian porn at that age. I still have attraction despite quitting a long time ago, but I often feel like it's some weird fluke or fetish that I memed myself into.
Something that makes it hard for me to discern is that I started dating a boy really young and we are still together into adulthood, so I have no experience with women or other men since I only have 1 romantic/sexual relationship ever. Idk if I would've dated a girl if he didn't exist.
I feel like a poser calling myself bisexual even though I'm honestly not very attracted to men besides my bf and have long been attracted to women, so I just don't really talk about it and simply say "oh I guess i experience same-sex attraction" if pressed. It's not really relevant to most people so I just go passing as 100% hetero since that's what my experiences consist of and I don't want to sound like a trender.
No. 355577
>>355574No offence but I don’t really feel women like you are
valid (that sounds meaner than intended lul sorry) but 90% of women I’ve met describe themselves as bi yet 90% of those same bi women I’ve met were women who only date men seriously and only feel romantically attracted to men, while occasionally getting horny lesbian urges and feeling the urge to have their pussy eaten by a hot girl. That’s 100% just conditioning from porn and not really being bi in a genuine way imo. Completely straight female pornstars can and do easily do a pussy licking scene with another attractive woman but that doesn’t mean theyre bi, it’s just coomer shit really. Likewise completely straight friends can make out at a party or whatever but that doesn’t really make them bi.
No. 355593
>>355577no offense taken nona, I agree with you and that's why I don't call myself bi, I only wanted to reply to the other poster.
I think I do have a non-normative level of same-sex attraction compared to most people (I continue to have complex fantasies about women) but I think it's unconstructive to claim the label and distract from people who have actual active experiences. It doesn't matter on any practical level since I'm not looking for a date.
No. 355607
>>353124If the idea of dating women makes you "feel weird and upset", why do you think it would be worth it? Why do you identify as bisexual if you've never dated a woman and don't plan on doing so because you can't connect with women, relate to them or "match their energy"? What do you think being bisexual is?
>what do i do?Start identifying as straight and forget about dating women, you'll just end up complicating things for yourself and breaking the hearts of these women who think you're in it for real and not just as a tourist "seeing how it feels like" even when you admit to being prejudiced and grossed out at the thought of dating a woman.
Almost every time I see someone on this site say they're "bi" and then dropping shoeonhead tier bullshit takes I feel like it's the consequences of being chronically online and thinking that finding anime girls cute counts as being bisexual despite finding women in the flesh to be as unattractive as can be. Trying to date women with nerdy interests is a huge nuisance because of people like this muddying the waters, claiming the bisexual label but having so many restrictions and conditionals for their "same sex attraction" but almost zero standards for the opposite that it makes me wonder why they even bother. They're not fooling anyone.
No. 358300
File: 1699761047885.jpeg (41.53 KB, 400x446, 9F434C67-2DB4-4A5D-82A8-48D664…)
I’ve only ever fallen in love with one woman even though I was almost 30, and it was love at first sight. She was 500% more beautiful than anyone else on earth to me and I loved her so much. I don’t want to get onto the details, but I found out she wasn’t who I thought she was and was abusing another woman I didn’t even know about. My heart is still so broken, I don’t even have words for my grief.
The worst part is, the emotional highs I felt with her were higher than any I’ve ever had in my life, and I can’t forget how happy I was. I keep wishing it was all a bad dream but it’s not. I even keep dreaming about her all the time when I’m trying to forget her, and the dreams are like before when everything was so euphoric and perfect.
The common advice is to move on, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel this way about a woman again. And I can’t go back to men again either, what I felt with her was so amazing that men will never compare, they might as well not even exist.
How do you get over someone when moving on to someone new isn’t an option?
i’d put this in the vent thread but I was once yelled at there for posting about ‘lesbian shit’ outside of /g/ and I don’t have the emotional strength for that /ot/ insanity right now
No. 359629
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Is finding flings on apps like Tinder possible? Apparently, it doesn't work too well for gay moids, but one of my female friends found her (now ex-)girlfriend on there, so I have some hope. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship because I don't enjoy talking or entertaining ideas like dates and whatnot. I'm in a relatively big city, so there are enough women around, for sure, I've just never been in the dating scene (for either sex, to be clear), so I don't know how "acceptable" it is to state that I'm looking for fwb/short-term stuff. I just want to eat pussy like my life depends on it with no strings attached.
No. 359678
>>359629At least when I was on tinder I saw many women stating they only wanted one night things/fwbs. Many of them were in open relationships though so might have to deal with a scrote trying to join.
>>359641Sounds straight, maybe you just need closer female friendships?
No. 360162
File: 1700506743776.jpg (180.18 KB, 640x752, world.jpg)
>>333869Are you comfortable sharing the name of your country? I wish you good luck.
No. 361142
>>360849Ayrt, I also do that though lol. Lately it’s the main way I fantasize. I’d never troon out because it would never make me a real man and I actually like being a woman for all other things in life, but I can’t help but really, really want to have sex with a woman as a man. Lately I’ve even thought it was hot to imagine her
giving me a bj although tbh I don’t picture a real dick, just the shape. It’s really just for the visual of her, tbh. I’ve heard anons call that sort of fantasy pornsick, but I don’t watch porn, so i don’t know where it comes from.
No. 361208
File: 1700977074672.mp4 (5.56 MB, 576x1024, cf9b8075b53ed6644d229811129769…)
Men getting feminized. Men with beautiful faces and manly bodies getting dolled up with makeup and even onlyfans tier aliexpress slut costumes. I'm not into trannies at all, and I'd be scared to indulge in this irl bc the risk of the moid trooning out, but oh how I love the juxtaposition.
No. 361787
File: 1701274689434.jpeg (620.79 KB, 1869x2190, AA641DF6-5F79-4A89-B2E3-B32458…)
My bi “cycles” last a really really long time, and when they finally switch it’s so upsetting to me. It finally happened again after over a year of cycling hard, 100%, to one side, and just as I was getting used to that, the rug gets pulled out from under me again. I hate this so much, it makes me insanely depressed. Because when I switch, I tend to lose attraction to the crushes I had up until that point and I start from square one on the opposite side again. I am never going to date because of this, and I feel so lonely at that prospect that I can hardly get out of bed. I wish there was a cure for this. I wouldn’t care which side I ended up on if I could make it stop. I just want off this terrible ride. I really can’t express how life-destroying it is for me. It trashes my mental stability and stomps on my hope for a future where I can love someone. I’m so jealous of normal people I could cry.
No. 361890
>>361787samefag, because I’m still thinking about this… it really makes me feel like a shallow, terrible person. Even though I know I don’t have any control over it. And every time I enter another cycle I think, naively,
>maybe this is really it!>maybe this is the real me and I’ll stay like this forever! And because the cycles last for so long, I always really start to believe it as the months (or sometimes years) go by. I’ll let myself be convinced. Which just makes the eventual let down hurt more.
I’ve started to get really bitter about hearing about other people’s dating and married lives. I wish I could just be happy for other people or even just neutral but instead I am filled with burning jealously. It’s actually keeping me from making and keeping friends. Because when they bring their partners around and be loving with each other I just can’t keep it together inside. I just start thinking about how much I want to die and I mentally zone out through the rest of the time and can’t enjoy myself. Which I know makes me kind of selfish.
Shallow and selfish.
No. 363340
>>362322fake bisexual women with preference for men are very loud when it comes to talking about how gross hooking up with women is. when people call them out for it they get called biphobic.
I get that we stay bisexual regardless of who we date, but it is so insufferable seeing women who date men exclusively whining about how mean everyone is to them. like they are not people still getting disowned or attacked because they were caught with another woman.
No. 363408
>>363387>as if anyone I'd be potentially interested in identifies as a woman anymore. This, this right here is the damn problem.
>every girl that doesn’t like horses and God is a they/themKekkkkkk god I wish it wasn’t true. I feel like it’s quite possible I’ll never get to date a woman in my lifetime because all the women who are my type identify as non-women, and I CANNOT play that game with someone I’m dating. I’m not 2 faced enough.
No. 363446
>>363340This is why I just don’t even mention being bisexual to people anymore. Especially when I’m dating a guy, it’s just not something everyone
needs to know. It’s not relevant.
No. 363631
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I remember there being a discussion in the butch thread on whether OSA women can use the butch label, with some anons saying that it's so ingrained in lesbian culture that even bi women shouldn't be using it. Which in itself is fine, but I just wish there was a way to quickly say I'm a masculine bi woman into masculine or androgynous women, basically butch4butch except I'm not lesbian.
>>363387>>363408>>363472ikr, the pain is real
No. 363674
>>363631masc febfem? it sounds like just buzzwords tho
maybe gnc4gnc or something
No. 365607
File: 1702657923411.jpeg (32.76 KB, 894x478, 63A6AFEF-4CFE-4DFA-B62C-294DB7…)
At least like once a every few days I’ll have a
>WHAT is WRONG with me????? Why am I so fucked in the head?
crisis moment about my sexuality after I find a man and a woman hot in the same day. What could the explanation be??? Clearly I am simply Insane. Throw away the key.
Idk why I can’t seem to accept/remember/believe that I am bisexual. I am truly retarded.
No. 366180
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>>366121Seriously. Every. Fucking. One. My first crush on a female was a TIF in my first year of high school, i looked her up today out of morbid curiosity and she has her top surgery scheduled in one month. It made me really sad. I was somehow stupidly hoping that she would have grown out of it, but who was I kidding. Her sister also trooned. They had a bad home life. Another high school friend of mine trooned and then committed suicide in college. It's all so grim, it makes me wanna die.
I'm very angry that society is pushing vulnerable young women to do this to themselves instead of embracing being a masculine woman or resolving their trauma. And on a more selfish note, I have just accepted that I probably will never be able to have a girlfriend. It hurts.
No. 366332
>>365569samefag, i'm talking about bad cases here. having a boyfriend =/= obsessed with men, my straight friends don't bring up their bfs or exes that often
>>365571yes. i kept trying to rationalize it ('this is what adult, banal relationships look like') but it just felt like i was being cruel to him
No. 366796
Has anyone else felt apprehensive to date another woman after experiencing disaster after disaster, but you don't feel like you can say this because people will jump down your throat about men not being any better? I have an ex girlfriend that played mind games with me and I feel like she took advantage of me coming from a sheltered, broken home. Its taken me a long time to come to terms with this, but I feel like I'm able to actually talk about it now that I've been in therapy and ran the situation by friends who have more experience than I do. There's so much to talk about and its difficult for me to find a place to start.
Have you ever had someone in your life who seemed like they had a curated personality? A part of me has wondered how she got by prior to us meeting, but she told me that she got bullied out of high school and had to go to a special school to finish and never elaborated beyond that besides that the girls who allegedly bullied her were pissed to see her attending the same college a short time later. She told me it was for liking the same things they liked, but after she began to mimic me I started to question the validity and I did feel horrible for that. But, she changed her major to mine, her diet, started wearing makeup, etc. She told me I inspire her and I ended up feeling really bad about getting bothered by it, but it did scare me. I got into a relationship with her when she told me she had feelings for me even though I never had an inkling she cared about me that way when I was dating someone else. Our relationship was underwhelming to say the least. We never did anything intimate because, again, she didn't even seem like she wanted to hold my hand or kiss me and the one time we did kiss it felt like she hated it. These days she claims to be a lesbian, but I was the only woman she ever dated and she's almost exclusively showed interest in men right down to body preferences. I feel like she's just claiming to be one for points and to be a part of something bigger, especially because we're in a time where it feels like you can't even call someone out for faking it. Meanwhile, she was the first girlfriend I'd had and that experience along with the one who trooned out have both fucked with my head so badly that I'm honestly terrified to trust women in a romantic sense. It hurts knowing that there is a version of me out there that she tells people about who is painted as some kind of villain because I couldn't handle her codependency, her weird behavior, etc. I mean, she told me that her parents once forced her onto a weird diet in her 20s and I know they had control over her finances, she had several car accidents she was at fault for, and it seemed like whatever awful things they did to her were pardoned and forgiven but the moment I stepped out of line she started larping as a Victorian madame or something. Even her opinions on hobbies seem carefully selected and curated. It feels like she has a shallow interest in things and does it to seem cultured or eclectic. It feels like her opinions aren't her own and I don't know if this is going to make sense, but its like she tries to have the most "male" stance on certain topics so that it makes her seem.. I don't know, desirable to men? And, then its like she does it on purpose to attract them, but she screams all the time about how she hates men. It feels like some weird control-power complex thing. I feel bad saying this, but I legitimately don't think she's capable of introspection or feeling romantic feelings towards another person. Sorry for the rambling. There's a lot I left out and lately I've been processing painful things from the past. My life is a lot better these days and I'm in a relationship with a man where I actually feel safe and cared about. We're both pretty anxious people who agreed to take things slow, but its been a while since then and he's let it slip that he'd like things between us to last.. well.. forever.
No. 372274
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God I hate the word queer, everything is queer this queer that, every other performative retard has got to be queer, all well-known bi women in my country now identify as QUEER (many of them are dating women so they're actually at least bi, some may be lesbian as well but for some reason lesbians still often call themselves lesbian over here while bi as a word might as well have vanished from our vocabulary), they go on about erasure while being such huge cowards they won't even call themselves bi but use the word queer which means nothing. I hate it here.
No. 374801
File: 1705827444076.jpeg (1.35 MB, 2560x3401, IMG_5390.jpeg)
>>37470928 years old, look slightly younger than I am but not much. I’m average looking mostly but I’m considered quite pretty. I’ve been told I look like daisy Edgar jones. I have long brown hair, bangs, pretty good skin but I do get some acne occasionally, I wear minimal makeup, I’m slightly alt but not really, about 5’6, slim, reasonably athletic but certainly not a gym addict. Fit but enjoys cake and cheese so plump in the right places. Quite a big nose but straight and not massive. Teeth are good. Slightly crooked and yellow so not perfect but certainly not meth tier. As I said I’m mildly alt. Kind of post punk mixed with indie style. I like dresses with boots or converse, tartan, jeans with flannel shirts.
My personality: I’m fairly indoorsy most of the time but I do love to hike and get in nature. I love books and movies. I have an eclectic taste in music. Animal lover. I like to smoke weed. I have a pretty dry and dark sense of humour but not in the sense that I laugh at mean spirited racism or dead baby jokes, I just have a bit of a cynical sense of humour. I am not very career driven but I’m always employed and I have savings, I am still learning to drive at late 20s. I have a cat. Idk what more do you people want???
No. 375060
File: 1705925136167.jpg (123.21 KB, 800x965, 36d16b993c47c4aef66101a6f293dd…)
How do you deal with fantasies of one sex when you're with the other?
Should I feel guilt for still having them? It seems this happens no matter which I date, but I do have a preference and so date my preference.
I can't imagine ever cheating and I'm in love with my girlfriend, but I still have certain sexual interests in men and sometimes get off to fictional ones. She knows I'm bisexual and accepts me but obviously I don't detail these thoughts to her at all.
Is this something I shouldn't do? If not, has anyone been able to control it? I feel like a criminal.
>inb4 you're going to leave her for a man
Impossible for many reasons, not the issue at hand.
No. 375091
>>375085also bi, and for me it would depend on how frequent the male fantasies were and how much they talk about them. there's a certain type of bisexual woman who always has to play up her ssa/osa to her partner. like talking about how sexy women are to her bf, and talking in detail about how hot she finds certain men to her gf. when she's in a f/f relationship, this type will try to make her gf act like the "man," expecting her to take all the initiative in the relationship, plan the dates, have an over-the-top fixation on using strap ons (always receiving, never giving).
this kind of bisexual woman who makes it a mission to shove her osa in your for some reason would really irk me because you're always going to feel inadequate and worry she'll leave for a man.
but if you're not one of these ones that just has to drone on about wanting to be dicked down and ogling guys, then it's not something to worry. a bisexual thinking of dick once in a while is normal and doesn't mean she doesn't want you. it's no different than a bisexual woman in a straight relationship thinking of women every once in a while when masturbating
No. 375102
>>375080I think what lesbians don’t understand about bi women is that we are not fantasizing about men because you are “not good enough”, but because it’s literally a part of our sexuality that we can’t change and does not ever go away. You can’t love a woman out of being bisexual, and I’m sure you understand that if you think about it. Not to be retarded but its like
>favorite flavors of ice cream are chocolate and strawberry>sometimes only have strawberry in the fridge and crave a little chocolate>it’s not because you don’t like strawberry or the strawberry isn’t good enough>you just like chocolate too>there is no strawberry ice cream that will make you not like chocolate ice cream or vice versa, that’s just not how it worksSo, what I would say to this anon is
>>375060Having a quiet internal fantasy every now and then is really the only way to deal with that as far as I can see. Having those fantasies aren’t a reflection about how much you like your current partner and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It can be frustrating though but that’s just the bisexual cross to bear.
No. 375105
>>375091> have an over-the-top fixation on using strap onsUh oh that’s me
> (always receiving, never giving)But not this. I’d say my fantasies about this are split 50/50 giving and receiving. Idk how you could just pick one. Anyone else like this?
No. 375155
>>375150>she just said she’d feel upset not that you’re grossAnon, not even trying to infight, but her
exact words that I replied to were
>>375123>absolutely revoltingand me summarizing that comment as her saying “gross” is me “jumping the gun” or making things up? If anything I made it milder than what she really said.
No. 375170
>>375158An outsider who is not bisexual coming into thread for bisexuals and calling normal bisexual things “absolutely revolting” does feel offensive and uncalled for in my opinion, yeah.
I understand that many bisexual women have adapted to being a punching bag since standing up for yourself gets you stomped on by straight and gay people alike, but personally I’m over it.
No. 375186
>>375181No, it’s more along the lines of “you’re allowed to feel that way, but is it entirely necessary to come in to the bisexual thread to announce it?” Apparently the answer is yes, it is. It’s so necessary. And if you don’t like it, you’re a goofy bihet who thinks she’s being systematically oppressed (strawman).
I guess I’m done since there isn’t a single brain cell hanging out in this thread. Personally, this just solidifies for me the reasons bisexual women will never have a community of their own. Most are so self-hating that they either “take it quietly” or even agree with the insults thrown at us while tossing their fellow bisexuals under the bus for saying “hey, not cool”. You can’t make a community out of people like that.
No. 375192
>>375188Kek okay, spin it however you want. I just hope you find some self-love and a backbone some day.
>>375190It’s not enough anon. She has to come stir shit here too. And anons say it’s her right to misuse threads, so you better be quiet about it.
No. 375198
>>375197Do you touch grass? Not bait, but this is very easily solved by just meeting women in real life. People you meet face to face aren't bitter the way hyperonline nonas are.
>>375176Agreed. No point worrying about them. If they're bored enough to breach their own containment thread and enter somewhere where they might get mad, they're not worth acknowledging.
No. 375201
Damn, sorry I caused infighting I just kind of wanted to vent and seek help for my Thought Crimes like
>>375132 said kek. I think I just have very puritanical ideas and wish I never had thoughts about anyone aside from who I'm dating. That's unrealistic though.
>>375080>>375123Sorry.
This is why I obviously will never talk to her about it. Likewise when I find myself attracted to women with features different from hers I often don't say either.
In fairness I'm aware that she is also attracted to different types of women that I can't be due to circumstances of birth, so I can empathize somewhat. Particularly because it's a trait I used to hate myself for lacking.
>>375091I promise I am the opposite of the typical biwoman issue. Dating men was uncomfortable for me because I like the roles that come with being the ""boyfriend"" (and I prefer women)
>>375063>>375102Thanks, anons.
No. 375236
>>375230Thanks anon. I really appreciate it. It’s really hard sometimes to be surrounded by this shit even from people who share the same experiences (and just hate themselves for it). I have to try really hard every day to not hate myself for being bisexual since straights, lesbians, and even fellow bisexuals hate us and make sure to tell us why we are morally repugnant all the time. It’s like you really have nowhere to go and no one to talk to. It’s so isolating.
Of course I know gay people also often feel isolated but at least they can find camaraderie with other gay people. Bisexuals hate themselves so much that they hate each other too.
No. 375325
>>375288Nonna, are you me? Would unironically ask you out on a date kek
I also feel like with my job and routines and obsessions I wouldn't be able to find the time for a relationship but then I always end up crushing on women in my fandom spaces which is super embarrassing (currently going through that once again)
I don't ever go on dates because on one hand I keep telling myself I'd rather just be single and spare myself the disappointment but at the same time I'm worried that I might never find a girlfriend who will really click with me and that does make me feel sad
No. 375328
>>375327Let's collectively try to not lose hope nonna
Unfortunately I live in a small, irrelevant country with a lack of fandom communities, so my crushes usually live in different countries, which makes things even more difficult
It's like I only meet fellow brainrotted women online and then I always start fantasizing about what a potential relationship would look like kek
No. 375450
>>375327>>375325>>375288Dropping by to give you all hope. I met my gf like this and it is the best thing to ever happen to me. Being weird together means we respect each other's space and we have near identical life experiences.
May the Nerd Goddess grant you all love, too.
No. 375461
>>375327>>375328kek I guess it's a good baseline for a relationship if you've read each others' embarrassing fanfiction and liked it, you have no secrets at that point basically. And same to the daydreaming and small country problems, based on what I've heard all the normie dating apps here have like 10 actual women on them and they all are each others' exes.
>>375450Thanks nona, a girl can dream.
No. 375468
>>375461>if you've read each others' embarrassing fanfiction and liked itHonestly that just contributes to having a crush for me because it's weirdly intimate and knowing that the other person is into the same stuff I am doesn't help either kek
As for the dating apps, I actually installed one (am trying very hard to get over my current crush because it's never gonna happen and I want to stop being sad about it) and I really only found a handful of women, none of which seemed to have anything common with me + a lot of them don't want monogamous relationships which I don't think I could deal with so maybe it is time to lose hope after all kek
No. 375560
>>375523>they/them routeOh definitely, I just get really fucking stupid when I have a crush on someone so I'm telling myself I can look past that kek
I also feel like it's gonna be impossible to find a cute weeb gf with brainrot if I'm not willing to put up with that, idk maybe I'm just desperate
No. 375606
File: 1706202231718.jpg (425.5 KB, 2792x1858, inspired-by-funny-cute-cat-dra…)
Ok nonnies, bear with me because this gonna be a bit long plus I can't really speak english very well (not a native) so I only ask for a bit of mercy if anything isn't clear enough.
First off, I realized I liked girls at age 10ish, the boy phase at school to me was awkward as fuck because I couldn't put a finger why I didn't like boys or boybands and such and I had to invent random crushes, then I fell in love with a boy and realized that I like…femininity? I don't know how to say this but I don't like anything associated with the concept of masculinity and this has brought a couple of problems in my relationship history. I like "soft" boys or boys that don't give a fuck about retarded stand offs with other males, I like boys that are comfortable in their own expression (for ex. liking pink, it may seem a little thing but for a guy liking pink or feminine things is a great thing, without being a faggot.)
And no, I don't like faggots, but let's go on. As a bisexual woman, I like feminine women, but I'm feminine myself. I had a short relationship with a normal woman (not really feminine but neither a butch, long blonde hair, makeup but hoodies and jeans typa gal in the 2010s) and then I wanted another gf because for me it's easier to fall in love with women. A woman was single in my shithole town and I tried to get with her and then I realized something: very masculine butch give me a bit of a …ick? I'm not disgusted in the literal sense, but women who act like moids put me off and when I see feminine and butchy woman I cannot help but feel it like it's a hetero relationship without the dick. I get it, like ofc lesbians don't like dick but those lesbians who are "one of the boys", act like moids, comment on women like moids do (like in a very sexist way), are gross on purpose, have typical masculine interests like sports or motorbikes idk, they throw me off? I broke up with her because we weren't compatible, I'm a quiet girly and she asked for sex on the second date and tried to pin me on a wall for a kiss on that same day, something that usually moids do. And I don't like that. She called me a faker, that claimed to like women only for clout (what clout bitch, we would end up beaten in this shithole town.)
But since I'm the "feminine", am I doomed to attract only this type of lesbians? I don't mean butch women, I love butch women! I also love if they're taller than me and can carry me! I love when they don't give a fuck, their confident attitude!!!
But I like them to be in touch with their feminine side and not be "one of the boys".
I'm not even that feminine like sure, cut my hair to a pixie cut and throw out the 2-3 skirts I have in my wardrobe and I could consider myself a butch only by that but…I feel like a fake bisexual sometimes? Or picky? I like women, I love them, more than males but when they act like moids they immediatly throw me off, like if I wanted a moid, I'd date one. I know that gender roles are bullshit but I don't know how to describe it. I feel like they do that so people know that they're a lesbian, wearing oversize clothes, short hair, no makeup ever (this is bullshit but like sometimes I wear eyeliner, I just back off if they consider all make up some "girly thing" like that is a bad thing, to like girly things), being gross on purpose by spitting on the streets like males do…
Should I feel bad, about thinking this type of thing? I mean really, I'm genuinely asking, am I wrong in some way? Do I show in some way that I like women, because since I'm a bit feminine, other women assume I'm straight so they don't even hit on me?
I know that being bisexual means liking men and women full stop but I can't seem to like "classic lesbians", the ones that you can instantly see that they are. I don't know, to me they feel like some sort of pickmes but with boys in the other way. Casually shitting on womanity and femininity, but also wanting to fuck women. Sorry for the confusing post, I'm not sure how to talk about this and I also feel that lesbians don't wan't to have anything to do with me because I also like dick….I've seen some lesbians describe us as dirty and such, it pains me a little.
No. 375614
>>375606next time maybe write a first draft because this was so long and rambly I honestly don’t even know what you’re saying.
You say you get the “ick” from butches but then later say you love butches? I don’t know what you’re trying to say but it’s fine to have a preference for or not for something. Personally I am not attracted to feminine women at all but I don’t go around shitting on feminine women so like just don’t do that for your anti-preference and stop being weird about things
No. 375619
>>375606It's fine to have preferences
I'm pretty feminine myself and like both masculine and feminine women but someone acting like a moid would also give me the ick because that behavior just grosses me out. Same with pick me girls and nlogs, it's just types of behavior I can't stand, it doesn't say anything about your sexuality.
No. 375637
>>375614I get the ick from butches that act like moids and resemble one, not from butches themselves. Rarely a feminine lesbian woman is one of the boys, this happens mostly with butches with an all guys circles.
I love butches, I don't like butches who want to be men so bad that they're borderline tifs and hate everything feminine except for the women that they want to fuck.
No. 375644
>>375523My main fandom
Batman is definitely infested with gendies but as another anon said they tend to be younger. A lot of the 25+ women are not into that shit. Usually on AO3 it's the better writers who are more mature and chill, they don't force cringy trans headcanons or sperg about politics as often as some younger fans or people who use fanfic as a platform for soapboxing.
>>375560>telling myself I can look past thatkek okay I admit I do this as well. But mostly I just ignore gender crap.
No. 375658
>>375606>>375637Nah anon, I get it. I also like flamboyant/"effeminate" butches and am a soft masc myself. The types who are stylishly boyish and into art/academics/nerd shit/etc. Both women and men who are tough and hard masculine just have little in common with me and so I never engaged with them in that way.
Soft masculinity is hot as fuck in women and men.
Also being bisexual doesn't mean you like all men and women. We're still allowed to have types kek. Anything else is just stereotypes.
No. 376127
>>375952ayrt and YES THAT WAS I MEANT.
Butches that act like moids and feel justified to do so because they want to fuck the same thing, just like faggots act with girls.
They both revolt me but since I'm more "feminine", I'm not the standard wlw so I'm afraid to not attract women and if I do, I only attract this type of butches and if I say that I'm not attracted to them, they say that I fake liking women for clout. I know, a single experience I had doesn't make up an entire category but after her I started to see this more and more….
I started to avoid lesbians who only have guy friends and are randomly misogynistic like ewwww
No. 376649
>>376647I would if they weren't as into men, but if they were over like a Kinsey 2 I wouldn't. I don't mind him thinking about dicks once in a while when he masturbates but if the attraction is strong enough to actually seek out dick then no. The m/m sex scene is frankly dangerous, and I'm not very interested in someone who probably fucks male asses raw while on party drugs or some shit and has a super high body count (literally everyone I know who's had an absurd amount of sex partners has been a gay or bi male. No shade, but it's just not compatible with my own libido).
My opinion on dating bi women is the opposite. I'd avoid it the attraction to women wasn't that strong but would date someone who is active with women
No. 376907
>>376879Kek men are expert professional
victims, more often than not they're rejected for known sexual promiscuity. But I've only ever dated bi men personally (LC would hang me and burn me at stake etc) and the relationships were fine, no cheating etc very comfortable. It wasn't about them being bi as their identity, I am just the kind of person that doesnt see the point in a relationship if they aren't also your best friend and you get along. So I never date men because they're bi, I just find that ends up being a part of them I do connect with. Not all bisexuals are annoying insufferable DLs. I think location and how you are is a big part of it. I've always had a thing for giant men who are actually just big bottom bitches and in the situations where it evolved into a relationship was because we just naturally gravitated toward eachother. I think meeting people that are like you can be hard to do by chance, so maybe online dating does seem more tempting depending on your situation, but you just have to be yourself and know what you want/vocalize honestly and if you are similar to the person you like or compliment them it's very easy to become symbiotic. You just make sure you aren't becoming a doormat to some miserable DL above all else.
No. 377195
File: 1707005148055.jpg (46.12 KB, 564x564, augh.jpg)
If there's a hell I deserve to go to it for my bisexuality and the things my specific version of it makes me want to do.
I hate this shit.
No. 377208
>>377197>may actually be incapable of commitment despite convincing myself that I am and desiring nothing more>it took me dating two people to suspect this (the guilt I feel is immense)>only form of attraction is intense and unnerving obsession that isn't built to last>haunted by insane fetishes>sexually attracted to many different types of peoplePerhaps it's my attachment issues and I'm blaming it on my sexuality, but the two feel inextricable.
If I had less restraint I'd be evil and so self-destructive. I already feel evil.
>>377206No, I'm shy.
No. 377744
File: 1707230438824.jpeg (273.89 KB, 781x874, A2A5B8C0-79C2-49EE-9CDD-9A8C99…)
another day of sorrowful mourning that there are no androgynous women around. The only one I see around is a TIF on my floor at work and she’s annoying as fuck and begendered even though she’s decently cute. I will never find a gf. I’m going to pull the carpet up in my room out of frustration. I want a tall short haired gf with a sexy nose is that too much to ask? In this horrible life full of suffering? I just want to eat the pussy of a handsome androgynous woman once in my life and then I swear god could strike me down and I’d be satisfied with life. I’m going to go into hysterics in a bathroom stall at work I can’t take this anymore I’m so horny for something I cannot have. Do you understand? Does anybody understand?
No. 378141
>>378033> there will be a lot of bi women and lesbians in the future with no tits because they went the top surgery route.Ayrt, yeah or with man voices and stubble because they went on T. All the women in my age group who would have been androgynous or masculine hotties are being medically butchered. And not to make it all about me because I feel definitely sad for them, but also I feel sad for me because it’s destroyed the entire dating pool. It all feels so hopeless.
I would dress more masculine myself if I could pull it off, but I don’t have the the right body (big hips/thighs, short legs) or face for it. If I was born with a different shape I would be dressing like a flashy 70s man, kek.
>>378096Godspeed. Please keep doing your thing.
No. 378610
File: 1707673844868.jpeg (79.9 KB, 847x652, 140538D8-26B8-4A2F-9C0A-AC41F9…)
I hate being bisexual. You get to have the excruciatingly painful experience of “double compounding jealousy”, which occurs when you are simultaneously jealous of the man dating your female crush, and jealous of your crush for dating such a handsome man. I keep imagining them making out and then fighting the urge to throw a table through a window while also being turned on. Fuck this
No. 378661
File: 1707691174450.jpeg (24.38 KB, 251x303, C9D77479-B606-4A77-8F80-8381D3…)
>>378642>didn’t know if I should cry about it or masturbategod, you get it. It’s just the worst. Both of them are basically my exact types for men and women. She’s has an androgynous, tall and cool appearance but with a girly demeanor and sexy nose, he’s fucking JACKED with huge tits and nice lips, I could gnaw my arm off in sheer frustration. It doesn’t help that I know he’s the first man she’s dated so I KNOW she must be going crazy for him in bed and showing him all the vulnerable sides of herself as a woman. Which then makes me upset that I am not a man and can’t be that for her. I’m so fucked up over this it’s unreal. I hope you’re right and I’ll get over it soon but I’ve been obsessed with her for so long now I think my prognosis is grim
No. 379255
>>379197Ayrt, I’m glad someone understands what I was trying to say. I have real issues with vulnerability to the point I don’t think I’ll ever learn how to fix it. I got bullied very hard in middle school but it didn’t even really bother me at the time so I don’t know why I have this problem or where it comes from. Being honest about mushy feelings feels just as impossible as stabbing myself in the stomach with a sword. And then add my near fatal insecurities about being bisexual
and also ugliness and the result is I will never get a girlfriend and be stuck just fantasizing forever. Fml
No. 379393
>>379142>>379388What I hate most is how unsure I am if it's actually just my attachment/commitment problems using my bisexuality to fuck me over.
It really only happens when I feel "trapped" in the face of forever with someone, which makes me doubly shitty and evil. And it's not like I ever get to fuck these people because I'm soooo self-controlled and restrained, then I end up sexually frustrated because I've somehow never gotten to touch a man or a woman despite dating both and being high libido.
I despise the idea of casual relationships because I have autistic ideals of how every human on earth should operate but I might have to do it. I guess I'm going to hell if it exists anyway.
No. 379514
File: 1708033980556.jpg (71.69 KB, 735x528, 0b4cc07d8c0a95dc2a1ad7718ade56…)
Someone help me with this mess please
>be me, around 16-17
>always had boy crushes
>attracted to guys though my attraction is basically non-sexual unless I have feelings for the person
>find another girl super beautiful and gorgeous irl for the first time
>still not exactly a sexual kind of attraction
>enter my early 20s
>start watching porn, mostly lesbian
>feel horny so maybe I'm bi or maybe I'm brainwashing myself with this crap
>I develop a serious online crush on a girl friend around the same time
>tell bicurious friend who had always been interested in me but i wasn't aware
>we make our for weeks
>go all the way with bicurious friend
>this is my first real consensual sexual experience
>it was awkward and i didn't like her smell
>loved fondling fondling and kissing each other but the sexual part was weird
>maybe I'm not bi, maybe it was just not the right person, maybe it was just lack of experience
>finally quit porn
>go back to my old only boy crushes ways
>have 2 serious relationships with men
>several years pass
>love sex as a consequence of being in love
>stil can objectively know people are attractive, but only feel sexual desire if i have an emotional connection
>never connect like that with women anyway because ive had male partners in the last few years
>maybe I was never bi? still think I could love "the right woman for me" and feel sexual attraction as a consequence of that
>in a serious years long relationship so there's no way ill ever know for sure
>male partner says only feeling sexual attraction when you have a connection with the person is what is normal
>"we're the normal ones, everyone else is dysfunctional"
>is my partner right or are we just "demisexual" in denial?
>maybe we just have trauma and being demisexual is made up
>maybe I'm demisexual and me not understanding my bisexuality is a consequence of crushing mostly on men, not the lack of sexual attraction towards women
>even more confused now
>help
No. 379712
>>379514I disagree with the other anons, I think that you are bisexual to some degree (if you want to argue that people who watch cp are not pedos go ahead).
Btw the demisexual thing is indeed bullshit, it's normal to only want sex with people that you love, and the opposite is also true, you are likely to find someone who you are sexually attracted to without being too emotionally involved. You're still young. Another thing is that I think you just weren't that attracted to this bisexual girl you had sex with, I think that if this had been a girl you were in love with you would be more into it. It's obvious that you really prefer men and that's fine, but maybe you will meet a girl irl that you also fall for.
No. 379940
>>379921I don’t get it. Maybe I’m unusual but I’m equally interested in both being more “dominant” and being more “submissive”. In my fantasies I switch around depending on my mood and,
I’m pretty sure, my cycle.
No. 379973
>>379388ayrt, you sound just like me.
>desperately lonely but it doesn't seem fair to become involved with anyoneI feel the same way. I feel like this is the only sexuality where if you get a certain form of it you are doomed to never find lifelong love.
>I switch gears every 1-3 years. I've found I'm about the same. I've heard most other people have much shorter cycles, and I'm so jealous of them. You can muscle through anything for a few months, but not multiple years.
>every time I get comfortable I convince myself I've finally figured it out and all it took was time and maturity, and then I switch again.I fall into this trap time and time again. It's always "Oh, I must have been stupid before, just a silly confused young woman.
Now I truly understand myself. And then it fucking switches again and I'm back at square one.
>It's miserable. I wish I could just choose. I hate it here.I agree. I truly wouldn't care which "side" I ended up on atp, I just wish I could make it stop. it's excruciating to imagine living the rest of my life like this.
No. 379975
File: 1708131409235.jpg (4.73 KB, 275x183, download.jpg)
>>379973samefag. having this form of bisexuality has caused me to develop crippling OCD. I am constantly "checking" my attraction levels to men and women to verify that nothing has changed, and then whenever I happen to have any period of time, could be an hour or a few days, where my libido is low and my checks start failing, my blood will run cold and I'll start sweating and panicking that I'm about to "lose" myself again, that I'm about to switch back into my alter-ego that I haven't seen for year(s). It's so scary to me to never know when I will switch. It's like it's always lurking around the corner
No. 380170
File: 1708212980071.gif (2.77 MB, 498x373, 53FF48D2-3383-4BE1-B25E-4ECC22…)
>>379975Samefag again… I’m finally sensing that I’m about to switch again and I’m so scared. I don’t want to go back. The last time I was on this side I started to think ZELENSKI was sexy. I don’t recognize that part of myself anymore. I feel like a werewolf who is about to transform and I can do nothing to stop it. I don’t want to go back!!!!!!!!!
No. 380338
>>380334Ayrt, no, not really. I’ve had the typical anxiety/depression combo since I was a teen but I think that’s pretty common. My identity in all other aspects of myself has been incredibly stable, confident, and self-assured my whole life. I’ve always felt like I know who I am and what makes me me. In fact I think it’s because I’ve always felt like I know myself very well, that having this start happening is especially upsetting and distressing.
Additionally, I showed no symptoms of OCD before I started bicycling. But I really think that it’s almost natural to develop that as a result of what I go through to be honest. I think it’s a manifestation of trying to find patterns and make sense of something that is not explainable or predictable.
>No offense, it just sounds wild to meI know that it sounds crazy to other people, and before I went through it I would have said the same thing. I would have thought it wasn’t possible. The only explanations people can come up with when they hear about this phenomenon are “well, they’re mentally ill/unstable/don’t know themselves” like you posited (I’m not mad, I understand the instinct to chalk it up to that) or “you’re lying/ you just were/are repressing your other side” which again seems like a logical assumption and I’m sure there are some people where this is the explanation, but I know for certain that is not the case for me. There have been times in my life where I’ve tried to force heterosexual attraction and tried to force homosexual attraction, and it never works when I’m in the opposite phase. It seems alien and inconceivable to me no matter how hard I try to “remember” what it was like before. Which is why it leads to what
>>379954 says about convincing yourself your past self was just confused and NOW you have it all figured out. It’s that stark of a difference for me.
No. 380402
>>379973AYRT, you and I are very alike and I'm sorry to hear it. It's not completely binary for me but it might as well be. I'm currently in a jarring in-between state where I am half-heartedly interested in both sexes and I know that very soon I will laser-focus on one and the cycle will repeat itself. It's a paltry comfort when I switch back to being interested only in women - it makes me feel a bit less crazy, and cumulatively I've spent more of my life that way, but it's worthless because I can't indulge myself. I don't want to play with anyone's feelings. Your werewolf comparison is apt, I feel monstrous. I don't want to be single forever but I don't think I have a choice. I could probably muscle through a year of switching sides after settling on a partner, but that's a cruel thing to do to someone you supposedly love, simply tolerating them while lusting after the other sex. It's not their fault I am retarded.
>>380334I have depression as well, but my life is quite stable and I don't experience mood swings or anything. Outside of my sexuality, I'm very secure in my identity. It feels like one of very few aspects of my life that is totally out of my control, and it's incredibly alienating, so it does kinda feel like a condition of its own. To echo what the other anon said, I think if I wasn't experiencing it I would also think it was bullshit from someone who hasn't done enough soul searching. Unfortunately, I have never been able to soul search my way out of this, even with tremendous effort. I think I have it slightly better than the other anon because with enough effort I can still access a modicum of interest in whichever 'side' I am not on at any given time, but it's a challenge and it makes me feel shallow and dirty. I would get a lobotomy if I thought it would fix me.
No. 380597
I don't experience bi cycles either. Or maybe I do but I don't call them that word because I think it's unnecessary. Cus to me keeping track when you're attracted to men and when you're attracted to women is like: "Oh this time I had a crush on some brunette, and the previous two times on a redhead! So that makes it 4 redhead crushes, 2 on blondes and one on brunette just now. I thought redheads were my type? Why did I see one recently and wasn't attracted to him/her?" This is an extreme example but it shows how it's a bit ridiculous, isn't it. Some people might like that because it fulfils their desire to label, categorize, make lists etc or maybe to help them know themselves more so I don't think it's a bad concept but it's just pointless. And if you're dating someone and have a crush or feel attraction to other people… Yeah that happens to straight people too. They might find attractive or crush on people while dating someone but just the opposite gender. Happens to gay people as well. Instead of (gender) as a whole doing nothing to them sexually, when they're at that point their boyfriend/girlfriend does nothing to them sexually. And the way they deal with it is consider whether the relationship they're in is fulfilling or not, whether the crush they have is unattainable, etc. So no, I think anons who experience that problem are seeing a simple thing as complicated. Like having a cold and naming it acute viral nasopharyngitis. It sounds really serious now, doesn't it? But no it's just a regular cold and like when people get cold they might experience different symptoms and different intensities than the previous time they got cold (but it's still a cold in the end) a bi cycle is just a regular thing that is worded differently.
No. 381022
>>380618Well bisexuality is a wide term with many different experinces, so many of us dont get belived even by other bisexuals.
>just come out as a lesbian you arent fooling anybody>you are just straight that wants to be speshul >so you have never been with a woman/man? not real bi >etcYeah it is weird when people doubt something that is very clear to you but let them think what they think.
>>380616Im trying anon. Im trying.
No. 381242
>>378661It’s me again. I think this is the last straw for my sanity. They are both so incredibly fucking hot, 10/10+10/10=200% and my brain is overheating like an overclocked computer. I keep having wet dreams where I’m watching them
making out, or feeling each other up, and desperately fucking and it’s simultaneously the best and worst way to start my day. I am absolutely a major fucking creep for this but I wish I could be a fly on the wall of their bedroom, they could even squash me after, idc at this point. This is the exact kind of mega pervert fantasy that makes me ashamed to be bisexual, fml
No. 381508
>>381505I truly don't understand those women.
>>381506I don't get why they post in the bi thread if they're so incredibly straight and not attracted to women.
No. 383550
File: 1709812934211.jpg (4.06 KB, 275x193, 1694590723669.jpg)
ok just deleted my whole post so have to type it out again. I feel miserable right now. I'm in a relationship with a guy who is lovely but I can't stop thinking about how much I want to date women, to the point where I am regularly depressed and crying over it. I'm really wary of ending my relationship over this though because what if this is just a temporary ennui. but I feel like the more I suppress this side of myself the more intense it becomes. I have to think about women in order to get off. I only ever look at women in a sexual way (I've usually been more attracted to men in a romantic way) and having sex at the moment with my partner feels like a chore. this is all insanely selfish and self pitying but I really feel helpless. half of my friends say to end it but the other half have cautioned me because the dating pool is so abhorrent. I won't be dating for a while because I need time to process and recover but am I making a huge mistake here?
No. 384704
File: 1710262458375.jpg (43.78 KB, 552x552, 1660703344264.jpg)
So I'm 29 and have never had a relationship with or even been on a date with a man. Kissing/sex/online stuff yes and I've had girlfriends but for a long time I've felt alienated from other bi women cause of this experience/lack of experience. Between daddy issues (predictable I know) and a BPD diagnosis and awful self esteem I've never actively searched for a bf but rather believed the best I could hope for was hookups and maybe as a result I've never had any sexual contact with a man who didn't treat me like a hole, online or offline. It's not the same with women at all but I haven't pursued them for a while because unlike men I feel afraid of their rejection. I prefer women (I'd say I'm at least Kinsey 4) but now more than ever feel envy towards women who have had "the boyfriend experience", I wonder where they find these men who treat them with even the smallest bit of respect and it's making me depressed. I know I want to end up with a woman but just once I want to experience being treated or even loved by a man so I can know what it's like and be able to say I've checked that box and not feel so out of place among other women. Dunno what my main point is really but any advice from nonnas would be appreciated. To complicate matters I'm trying to recover from a long term ED and have no sex drive and chronic exhaustion which makes dating and sex… close to impossible to say the least. I hope my 30s are kinder to me. I want to feel loved again!
No. 384729
>>384712note that even if he doesn't drop you after you get sick that the chances of resentment/contempt are super high. a lot of these women have manic/euphoric episodes in spite of being treated like shit because they feel relieved their male didn't leave them.
>>384704if it helps what you're describing isn't being loved by a man kek, it's being lusted after. almost no woman has ever been truly loved by a man. being a bi woman that has never been with a man isn't the loss you think it is considering how it's a major controversy in the community that most bi women are male-centered and will end up with a man.
No. 385010
File: 1710386735064.jpg (48.64 KB, 490x400, 90420.jpg)
>>384851 I'm
>>384704 and this happened to me with two men I was messaging pretty often when I first got unwell, when they realised my pussy wasn't forthcoming the contact dwindled. But they both also went silent at different points when they got gfs and started messaging me again when they broke up. Tbh it made me feel jealous of their gfs and like I wasn't good enough to be taken seriously by a man, but I also wondered if they ever shared their weird fetishes with their girlfriends or if they just reserved them for no strings women like me. I thought about posting this somewhere else but find most online bi groups like Facebook Reddit (ha ha) etc to have a lot of women who get extremely defensive over having male partners and sometimes seem to go out of their way to get offended and accuse other women of biphobia… which just adds to the alienating feeling. Pic not really related, I just think it's neat.
No. 385031
>>385010>when they realised my pussy wasn't forthcoming the contact dwindled.I've never even been romantically involved with a man (yes sad 25 year old virgin kek) but this has happened to me so many times I've decided I won't even entertain the idea of having a relationship with a moid. Having been a tomboy as a child, I would hang out with boys a lot and had many guy friends I didn't even think of as potential partners, and then as I grew older I tried to socialize with men as friends because apparently I was retarded and thought men could be decent people. Fucking nope, as soon as they realized I wasn't interested in becoming their mommy-gf they dropped me. Finding out a guy only wanted to get in my pants feels so disgusting every time I've basically stopped befriending men because of this. It's wild to me because I could never imagine abandoning a friend because she didn't reciprocate my interest, why would I do that if I care about her? (The answer is guys don't care, obv.)
Okay I did once distance myself from a girl I had a crush on but that was partially subconscious because I was a teenager and didn't want to admit to myself I was bi, whoops.Btw I've forgotten what era those hair styles are in picrel but I've always found them cute.
No. 385969
File: 1710763775039.jpg (18.41 KB, 320x320, 5583639b82c7facbcf1114ac91327c…)
I'm curious about what's your type of women, bi anons. What personality traits or hobbies/interests attract you the most? Do you have any preferences in terms of fashion style? Are you looking for someone with a similar temperament or do you think a bit of contrast would make a better relationship?
No. 385982
>>385969My dream is to have femme girlfriend who loves gardening and gaming. Our typical afternoon is I eat her out on the couch and then we go to Sephora or buy lavender scented candles or something. Then at the end of the day we cook some new recipe together and drink wine, followed by taking turns playing The last of us.
Sorry for being cringe.
No. 386032
>>385982It's not cringe
nonny it's adorable
>>386018I agree completely on the fashion part, I wish I'd find a girl who has her own personal style and isn't afraid to wear what she likes and is somehow interested in fashion overall. I'm not into makeup at all though.
No. 386044
>>385969>What personality traits or hobbies/interests attract you the most?i want a girlfriend with an artistic hobby. i love it when the hobby is a practical skill too like sewing and crafting. i would really like it if her hobbies differed from mine because i would like her to teach me new things and vice versa. i really like girls with friendly personalities because they make me comfortable being myself.
>Do you have any preferences in terms of fashion style?i don’t care much about fashion. i think alot about having a girlfriend with a cutesy pink style so we can contrast like my melody and kuromi KEK cliche but cute. i also really like women with short hair whether feminine or gnc
>Are you looking for someone with a similar temperament or do you think a bit of contrast would make a better relationship?i would like someone who’s different to me but still takes the time to understand me. i think dating someone with a similar personality to me wouldn’t work out because i’m so shy and withdrawn. there would be some communication issues definitely
No. 386144
>>385969>personality, hobbies/interestsI'd probably get along with a woman who's similar to me in terms of personality, I'm not very social and enjoy being at home or going to museums and other peaceful places, so I wouldn't get along with someone who likes to party and spend time in big groups. I like to ramble about my interests (everything from science to literature to opera, pretty highbrow shit but I'm not elitist about it) so it would be cool if we had at least one interest in common so that we could share it.
>fashion styleI'm big into vintage men's fashion lmao, I have several men's suits from the 1920s/1930s and it would be kinda neat if she would also be into vintage fashion, men's or women's whatever. On the daily I wear maximally practical clothes that likely come off as masculine or androgynous and don't care too much about fashion. I feel like it would be such a hassle dating someone who's super obsessed with makeup and nails and such, or at least she'd have to be fine with me having zero interest in any of that. More androgynous women are my type anyway.
>temperamentProbably someone who is similar to me since I'm quite blunt. I get angry quickly but I can also calm down in just a few minutes, I couldn't stand someone dragging up the same conflict for days. Okay kek this is making me feel like such a narcissistic shit because essentially my type is me, too bad I can't clone myself.
No. 386224
>>386044>i think dating someone with a similar personality to me wouldn’t work out because i’m so shy and withdrawn. there would be some communication issues definitelyThat got me thinking, because I am reserved yet very open to confrontation if I discuss topics I care about. Sometimes I think a woman with a similar personality like mine would be the best option but I think we would also have communication issues like you mentioned, just of a different kind. Like anon said
>>386144 sometimes I wonder if dating a woman who has a lot in common with me would be ideal. Someone who hasn't my exact taste in things but at least who's into the same wide area of interests as I am.
>>386143>I love girls with long dark hair >Most importantly just someone who I can talk to for hoursAmen
No. 386471
>>386406Don't be an idiot. There are still regular GNC women around. They're lower in numbers, but not impossible to find, especially if you're older or your tastes run older.
>>386404Initiate conversations with genuine questions or openers. And I mean initiate them, most women are quite passive and won't message first. Try to organise an IRL meetup ASAP if you find someone you like. People can and will just let conversations stay online forever.
No. 386496
>>386493Yeah sounds about right. Even I don't get obsessed with any males I find attractive so it's weird to see some "lesbians" go all out for them
>>386494I think there is a difference between finding good looking people objectively attractive, and actually feeling attraction to them. Like there are both men and women out there that are good looking, I can acknowledge this yet not actually feel attraction to them. Personally I don't think much if for example a male or lesbian friend point out that some dude is handsome, but if they were to start acting like they are crushing on him then I would invalidate their sexuality in my mind…
No. 386505
>>386494Sorry I meant if the so called "lesbian" found a male celebrity hot.
>>386496Yeah I agree. I looked at one fakebian weird years ago because she called younger version of Joe biden hot. Like I've seen him when he was in his 20's and 30's and while he is handsome I wouldn't call him hot kek. She nowadays calls herself pansexual and shares posts about being in "straight passing relationships" kek
No. 386601
>>386580Yep I was like wtf.jpeg when I heard that come out of her mouth years ago. That woman is also batshit insane; she'll find reasons to hate somebody like an old friend from high school was her target b/c her stepdad made her quit an after school activity we were all in. And another old friend from high school was her target 3 years before that because she dated her ex bf (before she claimed to be a fakebian). My fakebian ex claimed Liam Hemsworth was her celebrity crush. Like why are you trying to tell me you're a gold star lesbian when you find a male celebrity hot?
Next time, I'm vetting any woman who claims to be a lesbian.if she claims goldstar or platinum star and says some bi shit or claims to be a lesbian and had sex with dudes multiple times it's a nope for me.
Also sad I have to vet other bisexual women too considering the bihets married to men wanting threesomes.
No. 386632
>>386626Surely that then applies to anyone dating you though? How are they meant to trust that you're not just saying you won't go find a man if that's the attitude you have towards other bi women?
I similarly refused to date male-centred women, so it's not a matter of me disagreeing with that, I just find male celebrities to be a fascinating e-poisoned benchmark for real/fake committed exclusion of men in someone's dating life.
No. 386638
>>386632>Surely that then applies to anyone dating you though? How are they meant to trust that you're not just saying you won't go find a man if that's the attitude you have towards other bi women?I don't understand this question. If my behavior is a redflag to another woman then she's free to look somewhere else. It's not like I can force her to be with me anyway lol
>I just find male celebrities to be a fascinating e-poisoned benchmark for real/fake committed exclusion of men in someone's dating lifeIt's highly uncomfortable for me to listen to a partner constantly lusting after men. I don't care if he's a celeb, a drawing or someone local to her. I don't think this is something you should do when in a relationship with someone anyway. I also don't comment on any man or woman I find attractive, because I acknowledge my partner could feel hurt by that.
No. 386673
>>386638So I'm not feb4feb but more like woman leaning bi4bi but I get what people mean when they say stuff like
>>386631 and agree completely. It would hurt me more to be left for a man because we already exist in a heteronormative/homophobic world and are taught either directly or indirectly that relationships between two women are inherently lesser and don't matter as much, I don't think this should be hard for other SSA women to understand or offensive in any way.
No. 386765
>>386753I don't have an answer but not long ago I read a post where some anon was asking the same: when do I come out? And the answer a nona gave her was
when you have a gf. Imo you don't have to justify your dating choices to anyone in your family, if someone is truly curiousabout it and asks just be honest but I don't think this is something you need to make an announcement for.
No. 386784
File: 1711135256256.jpg (482.75 KB, 1079x1058, 1682135950793768.jpg)
>>386755ignore the straights and gays mad at you for being a G and dating who you want, they jealous because they ain't us
No. 386903
File: 1711202602231.jpg (200.5 KB, 1200x1500, Florence_And_The_Machine_Credi…)
>>386831It's not a broken sexuality anon, that sounds a little bit dramatic, it's just your personal preference, which happens to be uncommon. I dislike women and men with neotenous faces and prefer more mature and angular traits in both, but I wouldn't describe that as
masculine to refer to women. I'm a bit tired of people interchangeably using femenine and neotenous.
>feminine women and masculine men, which are like 98% of the populationI'm really not sure about this, unless you're speaking about personal style, in which case yes. But most women can look very ''androgynous'' (to me this mean balanced, natural, not hyperfemenine) with just a bare face and simple clothes.
> a flipped sexual attraction with the wrong characteristics mapped onto the wrong sexDo you find more attractive taller women with rectangular torsos, bigger shoulders and bigger hands/feet? Short men with a more typically female fat distribuition? Or do you just mind about faces?
No. 387402
File: 1711390573867.jpeg (158.54 KB, 1090x621, 57354AB8-7D06-49F9-9DEB-939DAD…)
I’m just a straight woman who daydreams about the pussy of another woman. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be a straight woman and get obsessed with pussy for a while years. Picrel, what you see if you look into my brain
No. 387561
>>386831I don’t think this is odd, in fact I think this is most bisexual people’s type. In my experience the best options are non-committal casual gendies who haven’t actually transitioned and don’t make it their personality. Depends on how much of a turn off that is, but people are more flexible than you think and I’ve found it pretty easy to convince them to stop drinking the kool-aid. I agree with the anon who said it’s mostly up to style; women who say this never like broad-shouldered, broad-jawed women, just ones that don’t dress femininely and perhaps have a thin figure that looks more androgynous. As I’ve accepted my sexuality I’ve realised most women are quite handsome; we’re just socialised to style ourselves in way that don’t highlight that (and subconsciously try not to perceive women that way). Feminine men are mostly just skinny, well groomed and have longer hair - the ones with naturally feminine faces usually try to compensate with muscles/beards/ugly haircuts.
I will say it’s not terrible to be picky. All the women I’ve dated have had this sort of style (and I do also, a kind of delicate “masculine”) this is my type and I haven’t had problems. But so long as you put yourself out there knowing what you want isn’t a bad thing and certainly not broken.
No. 387683
>>387409I'm trying, but I'm also trying not to, because half of me says "clearly you're bisexual" and half of me says "No, I'm just crazy and straight, stop thinking you're actually bisexual."
I think the complicating factors that prevent me from coming to terms with bisexuality is the fact that I only awakened to it recently (after 12+ years of being straight) and only because one day I was scrolling and saw a video of one crossdressing woman who i've thought about 24/7 ever since. I really didn't choose to have this happen, I never expected it, I just saw her and it was like I was struck by magic lightning and my brain exploded. I'm absolutely fixated and obsessed in a way that has always felt totally out of my control like i was being dragged through the streets with my pant leg caught in the door of a speeding car.
The way this has happened to me is not a normal bisexual experience, it's more like sudden derangement, and so when I look back at my life like my picrel, it makes so much more sense to chalk this up to a mental episode of some kind, so lately I've been trying to tell myself that even if this is just my brain malfunctioning somehow, it's okay because it's not hurting anyone and I don't have to re-evaluate my entire sexuality just because I have one mental episode. Does this make absolutely any fucking sense. I sometimes feel like farmhands who see my post history must be laughing their asses off at me as i post about loving vagina in one thread and claim to be straight in another thread simultaneously with genuinely no cognitive dissonance. I need to go for a long stay in a psychiatric ward and noooooo around me knows how insane i really am inside which is somewhat maddening
I'm sorry for polluting this thread with unhinged rambling please know that I do know that I'm retarded.
No. 387773
>>387683It's okay
nonnie, your posting keeps the thread more active kek.
> I've been trying to tell myself that even if this is just my brain malfunctioning somehow, it's okay because it's not hurting anyone and I don't have to re-evaluate my entire sexuality just because I have one mental episode. Does this make absolutely any fucking sense. Yes, it makes sense. Don't obsess over this too much, allow yourself to feel without judgement, don't overanalyse, just feel. And after a while, some months, a year, do some retrospection. I'm in the same boat as you, although in my case I was choosing to ignore very obvious signs, it wasn't that much of a surprise. I think you should try to meet women and see how things go, that's what I'm trying to do. Irl experiences and interactions are very important to understand your own sexual attraction.
No. 387832
>>387810I would have said so too but I don't like the idea of sucking dick either while I actually do like the idea of eating pussy or geting mine eaten by either a woman or a man. It seems that so many people describe attraction to males in terms of attraction to penis, wanting to get penetrated or perform fellatio, even if it's just for the sake of pleasing a male partner while getting little or no physical pleasure out of it. Sometimes I wonder if I am too autistic or just not attracted to men enough to understand pleasing men for the sake of it, while I do get it when it comes to women. I can't say I'd be downright repulsed by dicks themselves but I do find male genitalia some of the least interesting parts of the male body. That being said, I can only be attracted to TIFs when they look like cute gnc women, the idea of a "man" with a vulva is just bizarre and uncanny to me for some reason.
I know I am quite inexperienced and I would like to at least have sex with another woman at least once in my life, but the idea of sleeping with a man "just to try it / make sure" just feels very wrong to me and I'm afraid it can turn out very badly.
No. 387976
>>387967>How old are you?Mid 20s
>How often do your preferences change?infrequently, on a span of years
>Did you experience this changes in attraction as a teenager or were you more stable back then?Its hard for me to say for sure because it was so long ago but I suspect I actually cycled around 16y/o into an attraction to women, but since I spent the next period pretending that wasn’t real (like always) I can’t say for sure if it was real or not. That’s the problem with this for me is that as soon as I leave a phase I become convinced it wasn’t real so I am never confident about my past. But I guess based on that I should assume it WAS real since it follows my pattern.
>Do you have the same libido in both phases (high, low or normal)?Exactly the same. I think it’s medium. Although at the start of this past cycle towards women I had a period of a few months where it was extremely and almost debilitatingly high (was losing sleep from
fantasizing and masturbating) but that’s an outlier in my whole life
>Do life events unrelated to your sexual/romantic life trigger your "bicycling"?I don’t think so. I can’t figure out what
triggers it. There is no obvious predictor.
No. 388011
>>387967>How old are you?early 20s.
>How often do your preferences change?every few months, generally.
>Did you experience this change in attraction as a teenager or were you more stable back then?i was even more unstable as a teenager. at least now, it’s “preference” switching. but when i was younger i’d get a full-blown repulsion to the other sex when i’d cycle.
>Do you have the same libido in both phases (high, low or normal)?i feel like i “spike” more in libido when i’m in a more male-attracted phase, and it’s more closely linked to my menstrual cycle. when i’m more attracted to women, it’s a lot more consistent and even, if that makes any sense.
>Do life events unrelated to your sexual/romantic life trigger your "bicycling"?sometimes. i’ve got some (non-sexual) past trauma that, whenever it flares up, i tend to cycle. it’s strange.
No. 388434
>>387976>Its hard for me to say for sure because it was so long ago but I suspect I actually cycled around 16y/o into an attraction to women, but since I spent the next period pretending that wasn’t real (like always) I can’t say for sure if it was real or not. That’s the problem with this for me is that as soon as I leave a phase I become convinced it wasn’t real so I am never confident about my past. But I guess based on that I should assume it WAS real since it follows my pattern.That's very interesting. What is something you think would give you some reassurance in this aspect? Would being in two different long-term relationships (one with a woman and one with a man) be something that would make you think of your sexual attraction as more consolidated? Is the lack of formal dating something that contributes to your insecurity in terms of sexual attraction? Or have you already experienced long relationships with both sexes? You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, anon. Thanks for your other replies
>>388011>bi was even more unstable as a teenager. at least now, it’s “preference” switching. but when i was younger i’d get a full-blown repulsion to the other sex when i’d cycle.Did that change gradually or did it occur in a short period of time after some type of personal event? If I may ask, thanks for replying
No. 388457
File: 1711914962243.gif (1.95 MB, 800x520, tumblr_6ec09def3f00f158deeed1d…)
Can I ask bisexual nonnies who are with men a question? Why would you date a man if you had a attraction to women? Personally if I was attracted to both I would exclusively date women because men are so fucking awful. I don't know why anyone would do it willingly. Being with a man makes me feel constantly insecure and suspicious. Even if they are nice. With a woman I feel like the love would be more likely to be real and not just coom based.
No. 388502
>>388457Not with a man, but SSA women now are insane gendies. I don't feel like walking on eggshells. I just can't in good faith entertain a serious relationship.
I'm in a homophobic country and I can't for the life of me find a "normal" gay person anymore, it feels like people use the label to signal their political standing and I have to know every small detail about Western queer/gay culture to even form relationships.
No. 388511
>>388434>Did that change gradually or did it occur in a short period of time after some type of personal event? If I may ask, thanks for replyingi don’t mind answering at all. if you’re asking about how quick the cycling was, the switches would be rapid enough that i’d spend a few months fully convinced that i was straight, and then for whatever reason i’d switch and end up absolutely confident that i was a lesbian. and as said, sometimes personal trauma would
trigger a switch, or a depressive episode, but oftentimes it’d just… happen. it made it a lot weirder and a lot more difficult to even realize that i was bi, since i almost never felt attracted to both men and women at the same time.
No. 388713
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I usually don't pay attention to sexuality (bi/les) discourse online because I know it doesn't matter IRL most of the time, but sometimes people take it to the extreme and it can bother me. A few days ago I literally saw people calling bisexual women predators and rapists. I don't know why we have to be subjected to such stupidity
No. 388734
>>388457Not dating a man but open to both right now
Honestly my taste in people is just kind of bad so I'm equally at risk with everyone. Regardless of sex I encounter the same issues in relationships. Yes, I am working on this.
No. 388837
>>388457I'm not actively dating either right now, but I want to date women more. Since I live in a homophobic country too, there aren't many ssa women and there are many repercussions for dating the same sex and I'm pretty much still in the closet.
>>388502>it feels like people use the label to signal their political standing and I have to know every small detail about Western queer/gay culture to even form relationships.Yes, a lot of them are chronically online. Can't blame them though, the queer side of TikTok and Twitter is the only safe space they have in these countries. Although, like you said, you walk on eggshells with these types and it gets tiring after a while.
No. 388932
>>388713A lot of it is projection and jealousy. I've noticed many young women on Tumblr without much control over their IRL situation redirecting their hate to random bisexual women. I did a deep dive into this girl's blog after seeing her reblog a post with unprompted commentary on bisexual women and she was an early 20s lesbian from a homophobic home who had never dated or had sex. Same situation for others in the notes of the same post.
The normal ones don't actually care and it's good to remind yourself that the ones raging online probably have a mountain of their own unresolved issues.
No. 388984
>>388708Interesting how both male and female bisexuals just happen to prefer the smellier, unnatractive sex that is statistically very likely to be a horrible partner. And then they have the nerve to act like persecuted incels when lesbians and straight women refuse to date them.
And before you ban me I'm bi too and I'm allowed to vent about our shitty community.
Hearing bifags go on and on about how they prefer males when women are more beautiful and better people makes me feel worthless as a woman and also it makes me wish bisexuality didn't exist.
(baiting) No. 388986
File: 1712167868485.jpg (26.75 KB, 372x394, jbsvvcpwl8p91.jpg)
>>388713I feel this just remember that it's 90% online only. I usually don't tell people I'm bi especially when I'm dating a male but last time I "came out" (at my last job, to a bunch of other gay/bi people) nobody gave me shit for it, they even invited me to go to the pride parade with them kek. I think it's easy to fear becoming the spicy straight bihet, and I know a couple irl, but most people do not care.
I think part of it is jealousy at our larger dating pool tbh No. 389166
File: 1712265088572.png (24.11 KB, 840x434, ionlyhatebisexuals.png)
>>388713I found this lurking in the L chat, it seems pretty reasonable, if this is the kind of thing that bothers lesbians they have all the right to complain. I'm not worried about it myself and probably neither should you. It seems like, since lesbians have a much smaller dating pool than straight and bi women, some eventually end up briefly dating bottom of the barrell bi women (most of which might not even be bi). The kind of woman described in this list sounds like a nightmare and I'm sure there are many obvious redflags any SSA woman can look for before pursuing a serious relationship with a woman who might end up acting like this.
No. 389182
>>389175Correct me if I'm wrong but your vent was about the exaggerated claims you found on sexuality (bi/les) discourse, arguing that some of those claims went as far as calling be women ''predators and rapists'', right? I agree with you that that's simply absurd and I used the screenshot of the L chat as an example of (imo)
valid criticism lesbian women can make of bi women. I'm not sure why do you think my post was out of context.
No. 389241
>>388713Kek, when I first saw this post I was thinking of posting
>inb4 anon comes to tell how she's totally cool with lesbians hating her because she's so cool and not like the other bis (lesbians pls pick me!)Lo and behold, it fucking happened already.
No. 389248
>>389241I am the anon who posted the l chat screencap and I really think we should differentiate between
>Lesbians having unrealistic prejudice against bi women for the simple fact of being bi>Lesbians reasonably complaining about specific attitudes they found in bi women after dating someThe complaints listed in the picture are not inherent to bi sexuality. I think it's worthy to point out because who wants to live in constant online bi/les tension. It's not pickme wanting to clear the air between us.
No. 390067
>>389550Anon I understand that you're hopeless about intimacy but is a one night stand really the best option? If you really crave for sex I think you should try to meet someone you really like who you can connect with. It's never too late for that, although it my take you months or even years. You don't have to open up and force yourself to act like an extrovert but maybe you'll earn some interesting social experience from brief and harmless interactions. Dating apps can help with that a lot.
>thinking about myself having sex with someone is so embarassing, because I know I would be awkward and I have no charisma or looks.If you were to have sex or just consider that possibility with someone you like (someone you've began a firendship with and who you've already been to a couple of dates) you would already know that there's something about
you that woman likes, otherwise you two wouln't have gotten to know each other more. But if you put yourself in the arms of a total stranger, unless both felt an immediate intense attraction, it's probably going to be awkward anyways, not because of you.
> I feel like it's never gonna happen because there are too many obstacles I'd have to get through both in my mind and in the world around me.What kind of obstacles? Complexes related you your appearance or your lack of skills? Cultural taboos? I undertstand that it's hard to get over those but it will be so much easier if you find someone you really like and she reciprocates.
>It doesn't help that I have severe sexuality OCD and would definitely overanalyze any encounter I did have until I wanted to kill myself.Are you actively trying to overcome your OCD? I think this is the kind of issue you should adress before considering meeting someone, because like you said it's going to be
triggered if you make any progress. Don't expect to get this fixed after losing your virginity (I know you didn't implied that anywhere) but also allow yourself to reach a certain progress about your sexual OCD, even if it's small. I hope my advice doesn't suck too much. I am a very insecure person myself but I'm trying fix my mindset because when I'll meet a woman I really like I don't want her to notice how pessimistic and self-conscious I am, that's such a turn-off.
No. 390166
>>390006If bisexuality grosses you out so much you can hit the little minus next to the OP and hide this thread.
Idgi, why do people have such a hard time understanding that you can like both?
No. 390308
File: 1712758755777.jpg (45.64 KB, 640x625, jarxptou1er61.jpg)
Would you be interested in a thread in the XX board to talk about febfem? I don't seem to find any online space specifically made for this kind of discussion. We could talk about what are the reasons behind choosing not to date men and how is that affecting our lives in general. We could have some of those reasons in common with celibate straight women but since we are open to date other women we probably couldn't share a "celibacy general" thread. I found this picture and I think it touches different aspects we could talk about. There's also the influence of feminism and female separatism ideas (last point in the picture), which are more appropriate to discus in that board than /g/.
No. 390314
>>390307Bitterness. That said if anyone's not calling themselves bisexual because people on the internet make fun of them, it's entirely on them.
>>390308Go ahead. The only people I've seen claim it as a label are the types that would be in 2X, so you'd probably get productive discussion there.
No. 390323
File: 1712765889321.jpg (92.08 KB, 596x720, 687474~1.JPG)
nonitas please help me understand what is happening
>be bisexual
>knew this since i was like 8 or 9
>despite trying, i just keep catching nothing but Ls by girls
>girls in middle and high school while i was growing up just find me annoying and unattractive, while boys think i shit diamonds
>at best, i have had girls kissing or messing around with me, but i'm just not gf material in their eyes so they go with other people to date instead
>accept my lot in life
>throughout my 20s, also catch Ls, but it strangely gets a bit better and better the older i get
>years passed, i've more or less given up the possibility of ever finding true love, just enjoy my life and focus on developing myself the best i can
>SUDDENLY women are acting turned on by me, more flirting from them, they feel more at ease being close to me or touching me, etc
is it just… me getting older that suddenly women feel more okay with me or something? or am i missing something here?
No. 390327
>>390325you know what… you right kek, just re-reading what i wrote i suddenly got that confirmation that i was just trying too hard with women back then, and now that i'm just chillin suddenly women want me. i just need to calm down after all. thank you
nonny.
No. 390389
>>390307>and in that way it’s even more isolating being bisexual than even being gay. At least gay people can find community with each other.It costs nothing to say "my life sucks" without adding on "even worse than yours does actually" and I think this is one reason they don't like us honestly, the whole thing where we want to emphasize how much we have in common with other women who like women and can reflexively minimize how difficult the whole 'not also liking men' element of lesbianism is. That said, I 100% agree our struggles are different and it can feel like we don't really have community. After ending a long relationship with a woman, I feel like a poser even wearing my dumb casual rainbow leggings to the gym because most bisexuals I meet are the never dated a woman kind.
>>390323Do you mind saying how old you are? I'm wondering when suddenly is. I think you're both right about the desperation thing but also, same sex relationships in the US are less stigmatized than ever before and women get bolder with it as they get older
No. 390406
>>390401>…than it is for a bisexual to find other women who like men. right, but that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about finding other
bisexuals specifically. I think you'd agree that being bisexual is much different than being straight or gay?
>you shouldn't write off the idea that lesbians can be isolatedNo where did I ever say that. I take it you also think I piss on the poor.
No. 390410
>>390407I'm not walking anything back? I simply clarified (in my second post) what I meant since you were confused, after which you continued to purposefully misinterpret it despite my very obvious clarification including phrases in quotes. Now you seem to just want to continue to argue for the sake of arguing because you are inexplicably bringing it all the way back to the first post which you misunderstood and claiming I
really meant it the way you misunderstood it, and am now lying or "walking it back". Weird and cringe. I said what I meant, and you should play your infight game somewhere else because this is my last response to you.
No. 390439
Bigoted Heterosexuals and homophobic bisexuals are the ones who do bi erasure the most.
I'm so sick and fucking tired of men and older pick me women claiming bisexuality doesn't exist, telling me to pick a side, generally claiming I'm homosexual and occasionally heterosexual, when I'm not exclusively attracted to one sex. Even get the creepy comments "how do you know what you like when you haven't tried ot?" "Lesbian sex isn't sex" "its just a phase" and other retarded stuff. The men that are like this claim lesbians are secretly attracted to the opposite sex when goldstar lesbians aka TRUE AND HONEST lesbians exist and aren't attracted to men AT ALL. I blame the fakebians, fakefags, and the bisexuals with internalised homophobia who inaccurately label themselves as straight. some of these retards will either say I'm straight and it's a phase or the latter that I'm lesbian, queer, dyke, and homosexual. These same males will spout bullshit saying 25-30 is the wall despite the best time for women to have babies, if they desire them is 25-34. They're also the same men that'll screech faggots and dykes are degenerates yet be porn shills, and are also hebephebe whatever's.
What's even worse is that some younger elderly women (aged 55-64) also spout bullshit about bisexuality not existing. They'll claim to me that I'm actually a lesbian and the bi male is actually gay and call homosexuality a lifestyle. They're so homophobic and bigoted that if I was younger, I would've hit myself and meltdown (classic autism/low to medium support needs, and would've been worse with the men as they are even more bigoted about this shit) they're also the same women who support "progressive" homophobia, but more subtly. It makes sense as it's repackaged in a different way, but in a woke way.
Just because I prefer the same sex doesn't mean I'm a homosexual/lesbian. Bisexuality isn't a phase, I'm not confused, and I don't need to pick a side. And you can know what you like, even if you never had sex in your entire life.
Now I just roll my eyes over the retarded stuff but it irritated me more than usual so I just wanted to get this off my chest.
No. 390555
File: 1712854797474.jpg (74.74 KB, 556x525, 1337836291830.jpg)
>>390307I can reply to this from my perspective as someone who often calls bisexuals "bisluts". The true reason for doing this is not deep at all, I just got used to the term from edgy
toxic lescel spaces on the Internet more than a decade ago. My lesbian friends also say bislut a lot so essentially it's just normalized in my mind. The reason I haven't stopped is because I'm biphobic. Sure, not all bisexuals fall into the shitty stereotypes but I have severe brainworms from the bislut stories I have read in here or in /tttt/ or in reddit throughout the years. I'm extremely paranoid and hateful of most bisexual women, except for my friends who I know have never acted like the shitty bisexual stereotypes. I acknowledge that this comes from my own insecurities, constant competition I feel towards men and a general feeling of inferiority. At least this is a terminally online thing that does not leak IRL for me, as I have bisexual female acquaintances/somewhat friends who I do not think any less of or treat in a different way. As for why other lesbians keep saying "bislut" I cannot tell for sure, but it's probably for similar reasons to mine, and just thinking bisexuals are actually disgusting for having sex with men. I would say don't take personally what people say on the Internet about bisexuals. Even within lesbian communities people shit on each other a lot. I found that the best thing to do is just find lesbian/bisexual friends that agree with your values instead of seeking validation from a "community" that's made up of people with all different backgrounds and ways of thinking, because obviously you will always find someone that will shit on you for who you are.
No. 390560
>>390558As I said, just make friends who share your values instead. I cannot be part of lesbian "communities" because the people there are retarded, I hate them and they hate me, why bother? It's way more fulfilling to gather your own like-minded lesbian and bisexual friends that will actually give you constructive criticism instead of just spouting retarded shit because at the end of the day people in those "communities" don't know you and don't care about you.
>launching cruelties at fellow bisexuals in a desperate attempt to be “not like the other bis!”I understand this happens a lot. I have seen it happen. Funnily enough I've also seen bisexuals dating each other who hate that the other is bisexual because they are too paranoid of the other cheating with a man.
>or they choose to larp as another sexuality insteadThis really is something I cannot stand of some bisexual women. If I ever find a friend was LARPing to be a lesbian for whatever reason I'm cutting ties because I unironically believe it's harmful, selfish behavior. Just take the fucking loss and don't fall into the shittiest bisexual stereotypes, you will have almost no problem dating lesbians, so no need to pretend to be one (and if a lesbian refuses to date you for being bisexual do you really want to be there anyway?). These closeted bisexuals are probably the biggest redflag of incoming cheating with a man to me, specially if it's painfully obvious that they are bisexual but they aren't aware of it themselves.
No. 390567
Have any other masculine bi women found themselves not on the receiving end of lesbian hate the way other bi women make it out to be? Everyone talks about it like it's ubiquitous but I've never had any lesbians act any type of way when I've mentioned my bisexuality. Is it because of my masculinity?
>>390433I never had a preference and found myself attracted to both androgynous and feminine women. When I was trans-identified it stayed the same.
As for attracting other bi women, I can't say I know any tricks. There's a general stereotype of feminine bi women liking masculine women because visually it mimics heterosexual dynamics, but I've seen just as many women who are crazy for feminine women.
Do you yourself have a preference?
No. 390571
>>390564The answer:
>you are attracted to men and that makes you a DISGUSTUNG SLUTTY WHORE >and also if you take offense to me calling you this then that’s another reason we hate you. Sit there and take the abuse bisluttruly only the greatest minds on lolcow
No. 390575
>>390566Moids carry STDs and that's more than enough reason for me to feel put off about that. If she got a clean STD test I would be fine but it's kinda weird to ask that. If I ever found a bisexual that fucked men and I really really like her I might do that though.
>>390571You're just making up shit in your mind now. But even if you actually got those sentences as answers so what. Just find lesbians that don't hate bisexuals, or stop associating with lesbians entirely. You won't be able to change how they feel about you, stop being retarded expecting validation from them.
No. 390577
>>390574let me translate:
>I’m not like the other bisexuals who want to be treated with basic respect! I acknowledge I’m disgusting! So please like me, lesbians!so pathetic and sad…
No. 390580
>>390315Ayrt and after witnessing the last few posts I have to admit that I was underestimating the problem, my post didn't mean to come across as gaslighting nona, I'm sorry if it did.
>>390314I'll try to make something this afternoon, maybe that's the kind of thing that board needs in order to get some more activity kek
No. 390583
>>390307I'm a lesbian and ime, there are three main reasons. The first is that a lot of lesbians moralize our orientation as better, purer, more enlightened, etc. to cope with lesbophobia (which is polilez logic, but I suppose it's an easy trap to fall into.) Second reason is that bi women are in our dating pool, but there is a certain unbridgeable gap in understanding. You will never understand us the way other lesbians do, just like lesbians will never understand you the way other bi women do. Many of us are uniquely nervous about being compared to men, so of course bi women feel more like threats and have a much larger potential to affirm this fear. Third is that a lot of bi women seem to expect validation from lesbians, or view us in strange ways. And the trope of bi women cheating on their lesbian partners with men is a real thing that happens, and turns a lot of lesbians very jaded.
There are other reasons, but those tend to be the most common I think. Either way, I don't think it's fair to lay all our baggage at the feet of bi women or expect bi women to just accept being scapegoated for everything under the sun. For what it's worth, I find the hostility towards bi women here to be a lot more extreme than anything I've witnessed irl, so it does seem to be more of an online problem in my eyes. Like I've never seen lesbians get called pickmes for defending bi women anywhere but here.
No. 390611
>>390606You're only demonstrating what I mean. You could go say it in the lesbian thread if you wanted to right now and have everyone agree with you, but you're throwing a tantrum in the bisexual thread about it instead because you're desperate for a fight for nothing.
Do you honestly think anyone that's on this website is going to have a meltdown at you because you say you won't date bisexuals? People will talk about it sure but nobody's going to get aggressive. If you want to mald about redditors go to reddit.
No. 390612
>>390610I would suggest we kiss and make up but then I remembered your earlier post
>You're a blight akin to trannies.meanie,
nonny!
No. 390614
>>390611Well I will not derail the lesbian thread to talk about bisexuals for the 219834th time but you can go ahead and do that if you want.
>>390612I mean that in the way how trannies only want to date lesbians too. Honestly I have no idea why many bisexuals seethe when lesbians say they won't date one. It literally doesn't affect you. There are many more bisexual women than lesbians, and they are still women and SSA so I just don't get it. I also don't mean this to any of YOU taking it personally, it's just a generalized observation of some bisexual women.
No. 390628
>>390610This is a thread for bisexuals, not outsiders who want to have free reign to insult bisexuals.
>>390614>Well I will not derail the lesbian thread to talk about bisexuals for the 219834th time but you can go ahead and do that if you want.Uh no, I don’t do that because unlike you, I stay in my containment thread and leave other people alone. I know this is foreign concept to people as sad and boring as you, though.
No. 390657
File: 1712872475747.png (1021.53 KB, 1436x748, youlikebislutsdontyou.png)
>>390610you like bisluts dont you nona
(baiting) No. 390662
>>390657KEKK I was
>>390601 and
>>390612 and I honestly was feeling some sexual tension, she made me blush when she said that. so tsundere. lescel-chan come back, I’ll be your bislut if you want…
No. 390737
File: 1712897489489.jpg (328.39 KB, 1500x1101, kjdsn.jpg)
bi-cycling never stops being incomprehensible to me. For yeaaarrrs I was only into men & dick, now for the past few years it's the opposite, I only fantasize about pussy. The weirdest part is that the exact male celeb crushes or fantasies that I used to have are completely revolting to me now. For example, these days I feel like penises look like alien worms and I would scream and break out in hives if I had to touch one.
I never have those passing "oh, that one's attractive" moments when i see moids on the street or in media anymore, now I solely get that feeling for women.
What in the world causes this? I have an extremely stable sense of self, I've never had any trauma or bad experiences with men, was raised by accepting parents/community–in the past I even analyzed my attractions due to having a majority gay friend group, and even still concluded with certainty that there was no way i could be attracted to women. So… how the fuck am I now exclusively into women? Did aliens come down and abduct me in the middle of the night, scramble my brain, and then replace me gently in my bed like nothing happened?
In some ways I feel lucky this happened to me this way around, because I know how much hatred is directed at women who thought they were lesbians and then out of nowhere became attracted to men. No one believes them and just accuses them being larping posers who lied out of some malicious intent to undermine the lesbian community or whatever. But when people hear about a formerly "straight" woman suddenly being attracted to women, most people just say "congrats, looks like you were just repressed!" which although wrong, is at least a friendly response. The opposite type of cycler gets torn to absolute shreds.
No. 390799
>>390662i would let her bully me
>>390690im in IT too. lovely mixture of autism , transgenderism, and sometimes a stunning mix of the two. I like computers too much to quit. Its funny if i just dissociate and imagine im in some big bang theory-esque sitcom.
No. 390901
>>390567>Do you yourself have a preference?nope, not really. i've had people ask me that in all seriousness and tbh, i've been attracted to masc and fem women without any issue. i feel like it's an overall vibe thing for me, if her personality is just awesome and she's wonderful to be around, i really don't give a flying fuck what she decided to wear that day.
that said, though… i would swoon over a masculine bi woman. i've only seen a handful of you online and it sucks that its super rare irl. maybe someday.
No. 390918
>>390901>its super rare irlI really want to Be The Change, but I am always get read as feminine by people despite thinking of myself as GNC.
>I have short hair, but i guess my hair looks more like a pixie cut to people due to the bangs/fringe (I don't even want bangs, but i NEED them due to huge forehead). >I don't wear makeup, but I think it comes across more like I'm a nerd who doesn't know about makeup rather than a deliberate choice. >I'm also shortish (5'3) and have a really feminine build, it seems no amount of weight loss touches my thick thighs. I'm 116lbs now and still have an exaggerated hourglass figure.Some women are just so effortlessly androgynous and I'm so jealous. My mom is actually one of those people and I always wished I looked like her, but she hates it and is always "complimenting" me on my "delicate, feminine" figure and insisting on how cute and feminine I am. It really drives me insane when I'm going for the EXACT opposite.
No. 391109
File: 1713042470436.jpg (75.62 KB, 720x720, 68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a…)
>>390918>I'm 116lbs now and still have an exaggerated hourglass figure.stop being me. i also have a natural hourglass figure and naturally large breasts, so i think even if i try to roidout and gain as much muscles as possible or whatever, my breasts would still give me away and i'll just look imbalanced somehow. my face disappoints me severely also. i have very soft features, probably like you do. no jawline or cheekbones to speak of, and whenever i tried putting my hair up and clip it in to make myself look like i just cut my hair super short, i don't look like a sexy masc woman. i just look like a chubby 8 year old boy who's the theater star at his local church kek. did you ever took that weird kibbe test? its about what your style is depending on your facial features and body shape, and whether it naturally looks yang/masculine or yin/feminine. i got "pure romantic" as my test result and its the most yin out of all the other results. suffice to say i'm devastated that i can never rock the gnc look without looking retarded.
No. 391146
>>391109ayrt kek sorry
nonny, it's hard. I never took the kibbe test because I figure there's no point rubbing salt in the wound. I have a pronounced jawline/chin, but no cheekbones and some really unfortunate other features so I read more like inbred Hapsburg than anything else kek. It really sucks to have the style you're most drawn to not match your body type. I know my body type fits dresses and feminine cut things very well, but I don't like wearing that stuff. Then when I try to look dapper and cool, I look like a voluptuous midget in ill-fitting clothes reeeeeeeeeee.
I think you should try cutting your hair though, imo all women look cuter with short hair and also I just feel like all women should try it at least once. It will always grow back if you don't love it. But I did it for the first time at 22 and loved it so much I wish I had cut it that way my whole life. You might be surprised how much you like it.
No. 391170
File: 1713055931948.jpg (49.92 KB, 719x715, F8xbdplbEAAPxEq.jpg)
>>390918>>391109respectfully, you both sound very attractive to me… I love masc women who have a soft look and feminine bodies with my entire heart
and I'm a womanlet so everyone is tall to me No. 392189
>>390737In a situation like this how do you know for sure that you weren't actually repressing all along? You said that you have a strong sense of your self and that nothing in particular
triggered your SSA, that you're someone with a stable and homofriendly background. It makes no sense at all to me kek but I am not judging. For years you always thought you were straight and never experienced SSA attraction but now, if this is the first time your attraction has switched, how do you know if it will ever change again? Can you call it bicycling if you've never come back to your initial position? Anons above were talking about cycles that lasted several months but not years and I'm assuming they also experienced it multiple times, that's why they are exhausted of it. Your case seems different because, unless I misunderstood, you've never felt attraction towards men again.
No. 392925
>>392904i mean if you're going to talk about what I think you're going to talk about I'm certain it will draw in the rabid bisexual haters from the lesbian thread, but I'm having a shit day and need a retarded distraction so I say go for it.
>>392910kek
No. 392948
File: 1713837132292.jpg (Spoiler Image,2.04 MB, 946x2048, Ugly male.jpg)
>>392932>>392925Ayart, does anyone else feel like the majority of people claiming to be or implying they are lesbians who go out of their way to shit on bi women (here and in general) are actually just LARP-ing as lesbians? Obviously there are some actual lesbians who have legitimate criticisms of bi women, but most of them just smell of polilez/male to me. Picrel is an example of a "transbian" behaving like what I'm describing - it seems like some of them do this to act out the "mean lesbian" sterotype (furthering the LARP).
No. 393063
>>392189>how do you know for sure that you weren't actually repressing all along? because in the past I actually used to wish I was attracted to women and tried to force it but no matter how hard I tried I just wasn’t sexually attracted to the female body. So I accepted I was straight.
Which is why it’s such a massive mind-fuck to be so incredibly horny for women now. I literally daydream about pussy and the only thing I’ve
gotten off to for over a year now is fantasies about my female crush and nothing else.
> if this is the first time your attraction has switched, how do you know if it will ever change again? I guess I can’t know for sure but to me it just seems insane that the dominant sexuality I’ve had for most of my life would never come back some day. If I never go back then it’s more like a sexuality change and not bisexuality, which most people think is impossible and I sort of do too. The only coherent explanation for this that I can think of is that I just have a really long bi cycle. To be honest I don’t really want to go back to being attracted to men because being attracted to women feels so amazing on a deeper level, like it makes my heart swell and feel warm (??? Can’t describe the feeling, I guess I just mean I feel more passionately)
No. 393326
>>393115Well, when I started puberty I knew that I experienced romantic and sexual attraction to women but I really hated myself for it. I loathed my body during puberty and also had a huge sex aversion. That added to a high degree of internalised misogyny made me miserable enough to live all those years as a ''straight girl'' never again questioning myself
although I've always masturbated almost exclusively to women, cognitive disonance is a bitch. I guess my preferences were romantically inclined to men only, and that seemed unchangeable, because a relationship with a woman appeared to be forbidden. Some months after breaking up with my bf I suppose I bi-cycled for the first time, after a several months of completely inexistent libido. Now my ssa is not being supressed anymore and I don't have any interest in men at all. So more or less the former long straight phase and the recent ssa phase are similar to your's.
No. 393731
File: 1714125396555.jpg (2.97 KB, 225x224, 1710406428124.jpg)
I hate that I completely lose attraction to men in long term relationships. The same does not happen with women which is weird. I am in a committed relationship with a man, he's a good match otherwise but I'm just not sexually interested in him at all anymore. Same happened with my previous male partner. In my previous long relationship with a woman that did not happen, and changes in appearance/having rought times emotionally did nothing to make me less interested in her. Anyone have the same issue?
No. 393735
>>393673Ayrt, I've been in various Western fandoms throughout the years and I've noticed the same. Women who maybe previously would've called themselves bi first switched to "queer" and then enby, some became low-effort TIFs. When I was into Doctor Who some 10 years ago, Tumblr would be full of bis-turned-queer, I left when Superwholock became a thing and things got really obnoxious. I'm guessing many trooned out after that. The current state of
Batman fandom is at least 60% TIFs and other gendie types, although there are a few normal women (usually a bit older and mainly hetshippers). I had to get over a parasocial crush to a girl I thought was super cute but she kept writing a character as a troon
I may have thought I could fix her. Thankfully she started posting Palestine crap which made me stop lurking her page kek
Nowadays I don't really interact with the fandom anymore outside fanfic comment sections and I'm slowly moving towards more and more obscure fandoms for old books and theater where it's at least nice and quiet. Would be a dream tbh to meet a gf through fandom because I feel like my interests are way too autistic for normie women, but with the current state of fandom being what it is, I'm not going to advertize being bi in order to not associate with the gendercrowd.
No. 393916
File: 1714172377287.jpeg (4.8 KB, 200x200, sqykqyoaxerhrfrevirnlaneboaniq…)
does it ever come back? attraction to men, i mean. i've been through a shit ton of trauma thanks to them over the years, and i've abstained from having any intimacy from them for around five years now. i used to be repulsed by dick, could not stand to even look at a neutral phot of one without gagging or crying. but i've eased myself into looking at them little by little, and now i just have no reaction whatsoever. not disgust, but not arousal or desire for it, either. i'm pretty sure i have at least physical and romantic attraction to men because… i mean, i felt it, so therefore its real. but i've never felt sexually aroused by the male body before, though sex with men was something i could get through as long as i just either zone out or think about women to have an orgasm. but again, i think that's a normal bisexual experience. but now its just eating at me, like. even if i never in theory have another relationship with a man again, i still want to feel semi normal about it. i want to feel arousal at a man's body and gush about it with female friends so that we can bond over it, but i really just can't do it, no matter how hard i try. it's been like this before the trauma of everything, too. i don't know. i guess i just wanna see if there are other weird "partial bisexuals" itt too.
No. 394145
>>393928i mean…. idk. i know people like to say that marriage without sexual attraction sounds impossible, but then, there has been cases of friends marrying each other just for outside benefits and while they wouldn't find enjoyment having sex with one another, they didn't died if they had to hold hands in public. i didn't died when a man held my hand, so i figured, oh, that means i'm at least bi. the last couple of times a man has gotten himself on top of me, i was dry heaving into a toilet and wanted to kill myself afterwards, but again, its hard to tell why that is because men in general have been horrible to me since i was a little girl. its just hard to comb through such a huge mess inside my mind. but perhaps, maybe you are right. maybe i'm not opposite sex attracted. which… kills me on the inside tbh. i've always wanted to be like other women who can be sexually attracted to men and have a happy future through that.
>>393934i mean, i've met plenty of genuinely traumatized het and bi women before and they are still able to get aroused by men's bodies in spite of that. whereas i literally can't, no matter how hard i try or try to "test" myself via looking at pictures or videos. i'm happy that at least i'm not gagging or crying from the pics anymore, but what's frustrating me is that i can't get over the feeling of absolute nothingness at the same time, either. and yeah, maybe it doesn't matter, maybe it's just best i pretend to be bi for the rest of my life, better that than saying i'm gay and getting persecuted for it.
No. 394186
>>393735AYRT just my personal opinion but I think anyone who automatically associates being openly bi with being uwu qweer is assuming way too much. All bi is really is liking both sexes and any political or aesthetic thing that people attach to that isn't universally true. I've switched over to fandom places where I can stay anon mostly but I do miss building close friendships with other women who I'd inevitably end up crushing on kek. The last fandumb I was openly active in was
ASOIAF/Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon. There are definitely more chill fandoms out there less concerned with cliques and which character is the least
problematic but overall I have good memories of it and miss forming new friendships so easily. It does feel like if you're peaked you can never be completely honest about a lot of frequently discussed topics unless you're willing to risk losing people you care about.
No. 394504
File: 1714407961061.jpeg (57.23 KB, 828x684, IMG_8441.jpeg)
I don't really know where to put this thought but… being with men has made me crave an intimate and romantic relationship with a woman. My current bf is struggling with lying to me about his porn use and I have dealt with this issue with my ex as well. I ended up leaving him over it but I am living with my bf so I would be in an unstable situation. But something inside of me craves the genuine happiness and connection I would feel with a woman. I would genuinely not worry if I was loved or not because in my mind I could be with another radfem and I would be the happiest woman alive. I just don't know how to really process these thoughts. Am I normal? Is this a normal experience? I feel like I am not fulfilled with a man because I know he will always choose porn over me. I feel kind of lost.
No. 394588
File: 1714432476237.gif (167.62 KB, 220x128, cassie.gif)
>>394524>realizing i have never felt any sexual attraction to male bodies since the day i was born yet hung on to the bi label anywayfuck
No. 394609
File: 1714440002241.jpg (13.3 KB, 305x309, cd6.jpg)
>>394591sorry if i sound fucking retarded but why the air quotes around bi? do you mean women who are subconsciously lying to themselves and others that they are bisexual when they're actually not?
No. 394779
>>394610>>394641>>394645sorry for incoming sperg but i just came back to tell you thank you so much for breaking this down for me. i've finally accepted the reality that i am just not biologically wired to be sexually attracted towards males and that's okay. i've kept pretending and lying to everyone around me with the bi label, and tbh i've met so many kind hearted bi women in general that it's hard to feel like i have to walk away from such a sweet group.. but i can't keep lying anymore. i still feel like the lesbian community as a whole feels so shattered and splintered thanks to shit like gender freaks breaking in and endless discourse surrounding lesbian purity (whatever that means) and other bullshit, so i guess i have to just fly solo and rely on building a social network of people regardless of their orientation on things like shared interests, life goals, etc.
also, its actually insane how porn has rotted everyone's brains. i recall reading somewhere on a bi man's blog saying that he studied the phenomenon on quasi-bisexuality and how it often occurs in people who consume hardcore pornography over the years. and how it explains the existence of autogynephilic men pretending to be lesbians (heterosexual males) or straight women (homosexual males) due to overconsumption of porn. as well as confusing loads of straight women out there who think they're bi because the porn they saw turned them on despite never having any sexual arousal to real women in their everyday lives. and so it also explains lesbians who think they could be bi also because they've seen men in porn and contended themselves to look at it because, eh, why not, men are everywhere in porn anyway. if she didn't burst into flames seeing a naked man on the computer, surely that means she's totally straight, duh. its a bit like pavlov's dog, you reward your brain with looking at extreme images on a porn website with an orgasm and thus you liken the sight of sex with good feelings. the real test comes when you are facing people head on, and which biological sex do you actually feel aroused over in a normal situation - aka, no pornography playing in front of you.
so yes, absolutely, real same sex attraction is very rare.
No. 394800
>>394779>it's hard to feel like i have to walk away from such a sweet groupDo you really have to? I feel like bisexuals are much more accepting of being wrong about your sexuality than lesbians. Since you do seem to bond with men I think you still have more in common with bisexual women experiences than lesbians. I would say don't distance yourself from your bisexual friends, maybe try to make some lesbian friends first and see how it goes. Slowly getting to know lesbian experiences can also make you feel more comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with a woman.
>if she didn't burst into flames seeing a naked man on the computer, surely that means she's totally straightWomen comparing their sexuality to men's always leads to disaster. The only reason men feel repulsion towards male bodies and homos is their insane anti-gay social conditioning. In reality in most cases when you're not attracted to a certain sex you just feel nothing, not outright disgust and repulsion, which is why this also confuses a lot of women when they don't feel repulsed by men or other women and think they might be bi or gay because of it.
But anyway, quitting porn, touching grass and having sex is definitely the cure for sexual confusion. Maybe even quit romance genres if you're obsessed with them (MLM/WLW) as I've seen that surprisingly these also warp women's perception of their sexual orientation
No. 394823
>>394805Based on my experience
Personal:
>take immediate interest in that person even if you haven't even talked to them (this is one is the hardest to explain, it definitely feels different from platonic inter