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File: 1685880135702.jpeg (67.44 KB, 750x776, IMG_7531.jpeg)

No. 333126

second thread is finally due to be locked, so here's the new one to discuss bisexuality.
thread #1 >>56468
thread #2 >>199767

if you're still extremely unsure if you're bisexual, the questioning thread is likely a better fit. talk about your gender preferences, how you discovered you were bi, what's your type in men and women, how you feel in the community, any struggles you've had with bisexuality, etc.

No. 333128

File: 1685880316178.jpeg (64.13 KB, 583x685, IMG_7528.jpeg)

Hi nonnitas! I hope the thread is fine, never made one before.

No. 333130

>>333128
you are cute

No. 333140

File: 1685884431032.jpeg (37.71 KB, 399x399, IMG_7533.jpeg)

Anybody have stories relevant to being bisexual they’d like to share?

I’ll start & try to greentext:
>be me, bisexual, last year of high school
>be at house party
>waiting for female friend that said she’ll be at said party
>have a drink, talk to a few people I know etc
>she’s here with 3 other girl friends I don’t know
>cool
>introduce myself, we get to know each other
>girl with red hair in uni I’m considering applying to
>we talk about that, get a drink, dance
>fast forward an hour or so
>guys are in the kitchen smoking weed, a few people are upstairs and the rest went to the store
>me and girl with red hair are on our own
>she initiates
>why not
>kissing on the couch for a bit
>get up to bring us a drink
>be back, she resumes the kissing, I don’t mind
>touching above the waist, she initiates once again, sure, I’m into it
>break off the kiss
>take a sip of my drink
>I’m heterosexual.
>…
>what do you mean
>i just like making out with girls.
>mfw
>what’s wrong nonna, come here
>?????

This was a few years ago and I still think about it from time to time…

No. 333175

>>333140
>me and girl with red hair are on our own
So she wasn't even doing this for male attention either then?

No. 333283

File: 1685924119122.png (205.72 KB, 623x611, 1654031141229.png)

funny and cute threadpic, I think I have that same image saved

rant, bi-cycling is exhausting and made me extremely confused about my sexuality when I was younger. I have no problems with being bisexual but every time I think I start to understand the way my bisexuality works it starts going off in some different direction entirely and I have zero fucking clue what is happening eg. I have gone through very long periods of being nearly exclusively attracted to women romantically and sexually and not wanting to have anything to do with men at all but then I'll suddenly be extremely attracted to a specific type of men and start coming up with a bunch of insane scenarios and my attraction to women is put on the back burner and it makes me feel shitty even though it'll just be me by myself, single. I got bored and lonely and got a bf out of nowhere recently and graduated from being a weird autist virgin but sometimes I'll wish I was dating a girl instead and I feel bad. I probably have a lot of weird problems with sex and my sexuality in general that I didn't even realize I had until recently. I'm inexperienced but it used to be really easy to get horny as fuck in the past but a lot of things just don't feel that good or pleasurable for me anymore and it makes me feel like I have some sort of defect and that I should just become a nun or some shit instead so I don't have to worry or think about sex or relationships. I feel like an idiot. fml maybe I really was meant to be by myself. sorry, I feel like a lot of this post wasn't really about being bi and more about wondering whatever the fuck is happening with me. how I wish I was born a jellyfish

No. 333286

>>333283
no, i get it. bi-cycling makes me wish i was dead. sorry, not trying to be dramatic but that's just the truth of how I feel. Being in constant confusion and fear about who you are or will become at any future point is enough to make anyone go insane in my opinion. I thought I was one thing for years, then flipped and assumed I was crazy that whole time, and now I'm waiting for the next shoe to drop because I know it will, I just don't know when. It's a guaranteed destiny of pain and isolation.

No. 333301

>>333128
is great, cute thread pic

No. 333305

>>333140
holy shit I'm so sorry this happened to you kek

No. 333306

File: 1685932424661.jpg (447.14 KB, 2500x1995, 1522823331142.jpg)

>>333140
>be me, weird homely autist
>start a new job
>there's a really pretty girl working there
>super feminine, bold makeup and smells like flowers
>she's straight and has a boyfriend
>really nice to me for some reason
>always calling me beautiful
>really touchy
>sometimes used cheesy pickup lines on me and teased me for blushing
>I don't have much experience interacting with people so I assume it's just normal straight girl stuff
>try to keep distance between us because I am a hopeless awkward loser with an obvious crush and I don't want to gross her out
>start to come out of my shell and care about my appearance more because of her
>get closer, start to wonder "what if…" but even if she was bi she was in a relationship
>quit job eventually, we hugged and cried and exchanged numbers but never talked
>still think about her all the time

No. 333310

Just thinking about my unrequited crush that I’ll never do anything about. When we met we were talking about all kinds of stuff and suddenly she started talking about astrology. Internally I was like “nooo, her only flaw.” But it’s whatever because I feel like 90% of women are into astrology these days so it’s not the worst. Then after a bit she goes “I don’t actually believe in any of this though” and I suddenly felt so much more attracted haha. It was a really cute moment because of the rollercoaster of emotions I went through. Anyway girls are cute.

No. 333363

>>333306
fellow asperg here and please be thankful you didn't fall for it- I've been in eerily similar situations several times in my life.
they do this just to fuck with us. its evil. if you ever take the bait you get humiliated or worse used for shit like this one girl had me help her move.

No. 333528

>>333283
nonnie thank you for introducing me to the term bi-cycling, it's something I have experienced for most of my life on and off and I never had a name for it until now. it's exhausting to be consistently jumping back and forth between just wanting a gf and thinking I'm actually a lesbian and I've just fallen in love with men incidentally (because of comp-het/because for years I only saw myself as worthy if men found me hot), and then later jumping back to feeling like I only feel romantic feelings for men and my attraction to women is just a sexual thing. I'm so tired and worried that I will never be totally happy.

No. 333703

>>333283
I relate and I fucking get it. I've always been more into women but men are OK too. Whenever I was single I'd want a gf but always end up with a man because I'm a shut-in loser who does e-dating so I'm in mostly male oriented spaces and I barely know ANY single bi/lesbian women both online and offline. But this is the first time bi-cycle has hit me HARD while in a relationship and I have no idea what to do. I haven't felt attracted to my bf anymore and at all since mid-January. wtf do I do nonnas, help?

No. 333741

>>333703
Suffer, I guess. Idk either. I wish there was a way to control the cycling. Like I just want it to fucking stop. I hate that it’s totally out of your control and influence and just does whatever it wants no matter how inconvenient for you or what you want. I feel like this phenomenon needs to be studied because it’s so incredibly strange.

No. 333800

>be me, bi, former pronoun user, pretty much fully peaked/secret terf since 2021
>lonely with no bi/lesbian friends after a period of illness, still struggling with bad mental and physical health but pushing myself to get out more
>see pride month drop in session run by local lgbt group and wonder if beginning to attend social group would be a good way to meet new people and connect with same sex attracted women
>only problem is group is one of those uwu queer ones where everything has to be valid all the time and very troon friendly

Is it worth going and looking around, nonas? I'm desperate to meet new people at this point, haven't dated anyone since 2020 and honestly just want some human connection. But if I have to pretend way too much will it be worth it? I just want to find a girl to kiss, fuck, laugh and go one walks with. Or irl friends tbh.

No. 333806

I am the bihet you all have been warned about. In my defense, I live in a country where it is dangerous to be openly LGBT (Yes, i included the T because even though they are retarded af, they really suffer from hate crimes here) and have a crazy fundie family. I will never be with a woman as long as I live in this bumfuck hellhole.
And it's exhausting having to listen to "huuuhhh duuuhh, shut up bihet u not THAT owpressed" by some pudgy upper mid class 1st world liberal, when in the truth is that most of these libtards tend to have a better life than even most straight scrotes in my country. Like, I don't even usually give a fuck about oppression olympics bullshit, but hell, i hate the expectation that i have to asslick the "it's soooo hard to be a lesbian/febfem in Cuckanada there so many trannies booo hooo" retards just because they are (CAN BE) with women, fuck off.

No. 333807

>>333806
you're conflating two entirely different issues, though. Lesbians are allowed to vent about the difficulties of being exclusively homosexual even if they are privileged in other ways. For someone who uses the term "libtards," a rightoid word used to refer to a group known for arbitrarily conflating different types of oppression, you are doing the exact same thing.

No. 333809

>>333800
Tbh I'd play nice with the trannies for one night and go to the event. You can just avoid them, and make friends with the normal women.

No. 333817

File: 1686114361702.jpg (175.54 KB, 1074x1293, f4de7df7d455a634358293e4a0eed2…)

I don't plan on dating or marrying a woman but I have eaten pussy/had my pussy eaten by a woman and I liked it, plus she was a better kisser than any man I've kissed. I don't even like identifying as bi because I feel like a fraud idk. But sometimes I see pics of women kissing (not porn-y, stuff like picrel) and I feel intense jealousy, like holy shit I wish I had a gf. Also I fantasize about a man proposing to me but also fantasize about proposing to a woman, planning the ring perfectly, being super scared all day because I want it to be perfect, seeing her face when she realizes what I'm asking her, etc. I THINK I prefer sex with men but I've had sex with one man and one woman and the man just happened to be better, plus I had a relationship with him whereas the woman was a hookup (which I don't think I'm built for). Idk just wanted to rant bc it's pride month kek so I'm confused all over again. I hate labels.

No. 333826

>>333807
>Lesbians are allowed to vent about the difficulties of being exclusively homossexual
Absolutely no one has ever said they can't. In fact, they (and febfems/polilezzies) are the ones who tend to pissing off when bisexuals who are in relationships with men (or even celibate ones, myself included) vent while expecting us to always prioritize and centralize them.

>even if they are privileged in other ways

The thing is that they pose as if they are more “owpressed” than everyone else and consequently everyone must bow their heads and shut up, like trannies do too. And definitely these "privileges" affect how much homophobia you suffer, lmao. Being LGB in Western Europe is totally different than in fucking Iran, for example.

>rightoid word

Yeah, and? I'm not sure where I stand politically, but I definitely hate the spoiled and hypocritical kind of liberals, so, at least in that rightoids are, well, right.

>used to refer to a group known for arbitrarily conflating different types of oppression

Nope, they're known to ignore relevant issues like economics, wars, etc, to whine about futile retarded bullshit like, idk, this Lilo & Stitch live-action actress “not being POC enough" or whatever and calling anyone who disagrees/doesn't care a "insensitive something-phobic nazi".

>>333817
>so I'm confused all over again
>I hate labels
Maybe the questioning thread is more suitable for you?

No. 333827

>>333817
You're a basic whatever girl. Don't think too hard about it.

No. 333834

File: 1686118701795.gif (523.48 KB, 498x382, bighost.gif)

This summer has attracted a very weird crowd, specially with the pride thread. I kinda enjoy the dog fighting tho, to me it has always been the LGTQAIPP2++. So watching their boat burn from afar is satisfying, after decades of exclusion, hostility and antagonism towards the B I can't say I feel bad for them.

No. 333837

>>333834
>i like watching homophobes insult gay people because lesbians are so meaannnn
is2g this thread is a psyop to make bisexuals look bad. Anyone normal here? Anyone?

No. 333841

The homophobia in the pride thread is so disappointing. There are even some posters supporting troons now.

No. 333850

>>333837
lmao from the entire alphabet you only picked lesbian

No. 333855

File: 1686124304356.png (210.01 KB, 887x1051, image_2023-06-07_005258657.png)

i met this girl at an amusement park when i was around 13 over 10 years ago. i recognized a shirt she had on and we instantly hit it off, became friends online, sort of revealed a crush on each other, became secretly 'official' and made plans to go visit each others homes but 30 minutes driving distance to 13 year old secret girlfriends was basically the other side of the world. it fizzled away quietly. i met other girls and guys as i grew up. im living happily with my boyfriend of many years now but i cant help but think of her from time to time. my parents never knew about her nor that i like women at all. theyre religious immigrants, you know the rest. i know it was a childish 'love' and i dont even know what she looks like now but my heart aches so badly for what could have been.

No. 333857

>>333850
Are bi women are constantly complaining about gay men not fucking them or not validating their Nigel? Please refrain from playing stupid.

No. 333865

>>333855
That's a very cute story. I hope you run into her one day just to know how she's doing.

No. 333867

God I wish I had a bi terve friend or Gf so badly. Everyone I know is straight or retarded libfem. I feel so lonely. We need a terve dating app.

No. 333869

I don't have that much to say about being bisexual since I live somewhere where premarital sex is illegal even if you're straight, so no sex, kissing or dating experience for me at the age of 20 something.

As a kid I didn't care about being into someone or having a crush even though girls in school (an all girls school because gender segregation is practiced where I live) would tease me about not having a crush on any boy my age at the time, mind you we were 7-9 those girls were sort of weird. They watched romance TV dramas and liked the romance aspects and fantasized about it while I watched cartoons.

So they start sharing stories about their irl crushes which were one's cousin (cousin fucking is normal here) and another talked about some 20 something guy who was grooming her in insta dms while she was larping as 16 yo. It was weird and even as a 9 yo I knew there was something wrong with that so I avoided boys my age and men all together. It wasn't like I could safely have a crush on one anyways.

Until at 10-11 yo I watched some cgi cartoons on TV and got obsessed with a specific male character and he was my first male crush ever, I was so obsessed with him I couldn't find real men attractive, not the ones in my country at least since they're all malnourished and inbred (I am too but I managed to look better somehow). I liked him so much that I couldn't get into male westeren celebrities like 1D and others that were popular back in the 2010s and not even kpop boys from the time. He literally shaped my type in men, muscular, tall, cheekbones, sharp straight nose, sharp jawline, and a redhead with colored eyes if possible.

I had a best friend at the time that was my first female crush but I was too young to realize that, I was 14 back then and she was also bi or les but neither of us made any moves and we were too young anyways to do anything. We eventually drifted off each other and I lost contact with her unfortunately. I discovered she's lgb after she moved to another school and I got her number from a mutual friend and she was open about it to me. It was nice to check on her until I deleted her number like an idiot because she was spamming with whatsapp broadcast messages about BTS. I lost contact with the mutual friend as well so oh well.

My true bisexual awakening was when I saw black widow on an avengers cartoon, I can't remember if it was earth mightiest heros or avengers assembe but she had long hair and was beautiful and smart and sort of the actual leader of the avengers and they'll always fuck up without her. That awakened something inside me and she also sort of shaped my taste in women. Muscular/fit, redhead, tall, busty, long hair, high cheekbones, and a defined jaw.

As you can see I have the same exact taste in men and women lol, but I can appreciate men and women who look different to my standards as long as they're good looking to me.

I don't really prefer one over the other, but I noticed I fantasize about being with male characters I find hot way more than female characters which makes me sad. But I have a little folder of malen and female celebrities and models I find hot and it's well balanced if not female dominated lol.

I'm planning on leaving the country I live in one day and experiencing sex with both men and women and staying single and sticking with casual sex. I hope I'll actually have game because I'm ugly af and everyone says plastic surgery bad but I don't think eating healthy and exercising is gonna fix 20 years of malnourishment and child neglect, abuse and slavery or inbred genes.

No. 333872

>>333857
Damn go back to the lez thread, chill.

No. 333889

File: 1686139092431.jpg (897.55 KB, 4760x6636, kissy.jpg)

I've always been more attracted to women but have only ever dated men (well, a man) I've been dipping my toes into the dating scene again, but in the world of being a woman on a dating app, unless you're only seeking out women, you're just going to find men and even when only seeking women you'll still find men. I really want to date a woman, but only seeking out women makes me feel ..wrong? because I am still attracted to men. Idk it just makes me feel like I'm trying to "experiment", even though I know I'm not.

No. 333891

File: 1686141155699.jpeg (90.45 KB, 500x740, IMG_4130.jpeg)

anyone else knew they were a homosexual even as a child and then had to come to terms with having heterosexual attraction as well later on? kek i had a breakdown about it when i was in highschool even though it objectively makes me more "privileged" so to say, because i really didn't want to admit it and i've known i was SSA and recognized myself as a lesbian specifically as soon as i learned of the word with no problem up until then. it just broke me because didn't want to seem like a stereotype lying hypocrite, especially since i've always been known as "the girl that hates boys/men" and didn't see myself spending the rest of my life with one. funnily enough my tif oneitis helped me realize this
i feel like people typically had the opposite experience, so i'm wondering if there are others that have gone through the same.

No. 333902

File: 1686148900561.jpeg (51.92 KB, 1080x600, sjfgvifvfi.jpeg)

>>333857
NTA, but:
>constantly complaining about gay men not fucking them
LMAO, most of us don’t give a flying fuck, also the whole “lesbians only” is a fucking cope anyway, like every “x4x” shit anyway. “huuuhh duuh, it's just about prioritizing and loving our equals”, so why are y’all always sperging about how evil mean bisexuals are just spicy straight with a kink who break pwoor lesbian hearts dumping them for men, that most bisexual women marry men, that we flirt with lesbians just because we want to do threesomes with our Nigels, that we treat lesbians like men, that being dumped by a man is worse than being dumped by another woman, etc? Men, men, men. Bihet this, bihet that. It's you all who are constantly complaining when we don't fuck/date you. I still haven't met a "no bi rule" who wasn't just an embittered lescel with trust and self-esteem issues.

>not validating their Nigel

LMAO, all we want is for you all to stop acting like we magically turn straight just because we're in a straight RELATIONSHIP, as if we weren't complete people whose lives did not revolve around our current romantic relationship. (Picrel is a retard, but the broken clock thing)

No. 333919

>>333902
AYRT, I'm not a lesbian, dumbass. I'm here in the bi thread because I'm bisexual. I can't believe you attached your picrel unironically kek, the post is stupid as fuck. But your post is stupid as fuck too, so I guess it's consistent. Honestly depressing having to share a sexuality with people like you.
>>333872
see above

No. 333920

>>333902
AYRT, I'm not a lesbian, dumbass. I'm here in the bi thread because I'm bisexual. I can't believe you attached your picrel unironically kek, the post is stupid as fuck. But your post is stupid as fuck too, so I guess it's consistent. Honestly depressing having to share a sexuality with people like you.
>>333872
see above

No. 333925

>>333902
chill & take your meds bpd-chan

>I still haven't met a "no bi rule" who wasn't just an embittered lescel

Now you know damn well this is a lie, I seriously hesitate to date another bi woman for good reasons call me a hypocrite idc. If you live in an alternate reality where this shit isn't happening constantly, I'd like directions… https://www.reddit.com/r/BiWomen/comments/13tl39q/went_on_a_date_40_mins_by_bus_as_i_was_waiting/
Dating apps are litterally unusable right now because of lying kinsey 1&2s with boyfriends endangering everyone else. Yet we can't address this type of issue in our community without unstable gals like you blowing a gasket every time it's brought up, it's always the meanie dykes faults, the degenerate bi men with aids etc etc. Everyone but us somehow. I've come to accept the bi community is a lost cause and I want nothing to do with it at this point, full of crazies.

>ib4 dyke worshipper screed

No I don't spend my time larping as a lesbian (like I know many other kinsey 5s do) or dying to date one either, I've come to terms with living and dying alone. It probably contradicts your mental illness but maybe stop caring so much if people don't want to date or validate you.

No. 333926

>>333841
I will never understand handmaidens/pro-trannies posting on fucking lolcow. Anyway, I hope the threads about TIMs peak them.

No. 333932

>>333926
This is not a radfem site, posters are not required to hold a certain set of political beliefs.

No. 333934

>>333932
You don't have to be radfem to be rational.
Any woman caping for troons is deluded.

No. 333941

>>333934
Sure, but there's no rules that prohibit them from posting either.

No. 333946

>>333920
>I'm here in the bi thread because I'm bisexual.
Not necessarily, non-bi lurkers are a thing.

>>333925
>take your meds bpd-chan
>It probably contradicts your mental illness but maybe stop caring so much if people don't want to date or validate you.
Said the clearly self-hating validation freak desesperate for "nice bi points". If I was desperate for lesbian attention I'd be acting like you.

> Yet we can't address this type of issue in our community without unstable gals like you blowing a gasket every time it's brought up, it's always the meanie dykes faults, the degenerate bi men with aids etc etc. Everyone but us somehow.

And why should we all be blamed for some unicorn hunting poly retards? They tend to harass us more than lesbians (because for them bi = slutty and available) and, hell, some of them are even just hetties trying to please their nigels. Btw, I've never seen this kind of hate directed at bi men coming from bi women, especially because we tend to be labeled “degenerates with STDs” too.

>I don't spend my time larping as a lesbian or dying to date one either, I've come to terms with living and dying alone

LMAO, ok. But it's usually the self-pitying types like you who go polilez and then cry about “boo hoo mean goldstars" not dating and validating you.

>>333932
>>333941
Yeah, but this was never a place famous for being welcoming of troons. No idea why the "DNI/report and block to stay safe" types would be here. It's not a question of being prohibited, it's just weird.

No. 333950

>>333857
Go away and don't bring the les vs. bi shit over here. Let the lesbian thread have that. I like that this thread is actually peaceful and good for discussion.

No. 333965

>>333889
I tend to put "woman only" when using dating apps because with moids I feel worried that I'm talking to some psychopath weirdo. Even with women sometimes I'm afraid they're fake accounts, idk.

No. 334001

>>333946
>it’s polys! Muh hetties!
Right I wonder between the troon & bi community who wins the no-true-scotsman-fallacy award. Seems to be a competition. Whenever trannies do something wrong, the Troon in question in Never A RealTroonTM. Whenever some bi’s weirdo behaviour is rightfully called out, it’s always a hettie masquarading as one of us. Allied in perpetual victimhood of imposters muddying our good name it seems, we should form a committee.

>trying to please their nigels.

The biggest Nigel pleasers around are kinsey1&2s, even more than the avg straight woman and it’s a known fact, this is a self-dunk lol. You really think it’s a coincidence most polys are bi?

>self-hating

Ah yes, the internalised biphobia accusation. You sound about as coherent and mentally developed as the average twitterite flinging her “internalised misogyny” trump card whenever called out for her insane displays, lumping all women with her own retardoid tendencies. It’s truly sad that all sane bisexuals are being run off with these inane accusations of self-bigotry for having an ounce of self-reflection and self-critical abilities, meanwhile the dangerously unmedicated continue running their mouths claiming to represent us. A fucking sinking ship.

>inb4 accusations of lezzie worship x2

Yawn. I’m not the one who threw the most pathetic tantrum because lesbians find her undateable + no one cares to validate your precious bi iDeNtITy when you’re dating Nigel. Now that’s self-hatred.
Maybe learn2read, did I say I dated lesbians? Spelling it out for you: I don’t because I have dignity. It’s obvious any actual self-hating bi would simply larp as fully gay like many already do to avoid associating with the giant embarrassment the bi community currently is. Instead I’m wasting my time engaging with weeping idiots like you, trying to clean house. Fool’s errand really.

>cherry on top, irrelevant goldstar mention

Your obsession and hatred is overflowing. What makes you think I would have issues with goldstars? LMAO Your kind is the only one totally obsessed with them and throwing a wobbly every 5 minutes about their existence, the inferiority complex is astounding to witness. Even though I’ve never slept with a male I am not retarded enough to believe I have anything to do with the goldstar concept because I’m not a lesbian. Please grow a brain ASAP I beg you.

These bpd-typical projections are so unoriginal it’s not even entertaining.

No. 334006

>>334001
>>333925
You’re right and you should say it. I wish I could find sane bi women like you all to hang out with because it seems like we’re in the damn minority. Before interacting with other bi women I was always like “awww why do lesbians hate us sad emoticon” and now I completely understand. Lesbians can break off, those lucky bastards, we’re stuck here in the shit pile.

No. 334023

>>333902
>>333946
I agree with you nonny. If the others want to be the "good bisexual who knows her place in the alphabet hierarchy" that's their choice. This thread is for our experiences, adversities and opinions as bisexual women. Any other anon should and is free to nag, moan, hate and vent about anything and anyone (yes even the giga uwuoppressed lesbians that have it bad/worse, no one should be on a pedestal because of oppression points). The whole alphabet can go maim each other in their spaces, just leave us alone and in pace, stop coming as the moral speech/thought police to correct preach us into "submitting" and "learning" our place.

No. 334049

In the OP post, lesbians were not even mentioned (at least not in a way that singled them out). It's clearly a baiter in here trying to force an infight. Yes force because no one even really talks about lesbians itt, especially not negatively.

No. 334056

>>334049
I'd put £20 on the baiter having a dick ywnbaw and it's not our problem if lesbians or bi women don't want to fuck you

No. 334059

>>334023
>submitting and learning our place
No one is using this sort of language except for you. I'll remind everyone that the thing that triggered this is a homophobic anon saying she enjoys seeing homosexual people shat on by homophobes because she felt boolied by them. Anons pointed out "huh, that's fucked up" and now we have a handful of people reeeeeing about being FORCED TO SUBMIT and LEARN THEIR PLACE when asked not to be homophobic. Pretty good representation of everything wrong with the bisexual community in just one day of posts itt.

No. 334062

>>334001
>it’s polys! Muh hetties!
>no-true-scotsman-fallacy
Since being polyamorous does not exclude being bi, how is this is a no-true-scotsman-fallacy? And at no time did I say that there are no trashy bis, just that hets ALSO do that and nobody talks about them.

> The biggest Nigel pleasers around are kinsey1&2s, even more than the avg straight woman and it’s a known fact, this is a self-dunk lol. You really think it’s a coincidence most polys are bi?

Proofs? Also, Kinsey was a pedo apologist, let this stupid scale die.

> I’m not the one who threw the most pathetic tantrum because lesbians find her undateable

I don't care if some random lesbians finds me dateable or not and I thought I made that explicit since my first post. I just said Les4Les (generally) is a cope, because IT’S (generally) a cope, like most Something4Somethings are. Also, either we are straight fakers who don’t really like women and will dump them for moids or we are desperate for attention from lezzies, can't be both. Sorry not sorry.

> no one cares to validate your precious bi iDeNtITy when you’re dating Nigel.

Yeah, it's precious to me. Sorry you don't feel this way, self-hater.

> Your kind is the only one totally obsessed with them

> What makes you think I would have issues with goldstars?
Nope, they're based and actual lesbians, unlike self-hating bisexuals who adopt the comphet/polilez discourse and then they attack the ones who don't claim a fake label. And you don't have issues with them now because you hasn't turned a fakebian yet, are just a proto one.

>>334023
Thank you, nonny. Btw, i will stop here bc >> 333950 nonny is right and the last nonnas have a point about probably being a troll/baiter. I hate conflict, I just find it enraging when whenever some bi vent about not feeling welcomed by the rest of the acronym's letters there's ALWAYS some braindead idiot who brings the "huuuhhh duuuhhh, Les4Les don't have to fuck with you" retarded strawman. Yeah, we know, we don't care and the conversation had nothing to do with it, asshole. Same with the whole “Nigel haver/haven't” discourse. I’m just so tired.

No. 334065

>>334059
> the thing that triggered this is a homophobic anon saying she enjoys seeing homosexual people shat on by homophobes because she felt boolied by them.
>Anons pointed out "huh, that's fucked up" and now we have a handful of people reeeeeing about being FORCED TO SUBMIT and LEARN THEIR PLACE when asked not to be homophobic.
That's not what happened. I have no idea what happened in the other thread, but what pissed me off was this “bi women are constantly complaining about lesbians not fucking them or not validating their Nigel” implication of >>333857 as if we don't have actual reasons for not trusting non-bis, including straight people and gay moids. Also this whole “boo hoo i hate being bi, i hate this community” annoying self-pitying of you all. She was just defending lesbians when she literally said that bisexual women tend to be “the biggest Nigel pleasers around” out of nowhere?

No. 334402

>>333902
What “resources” is she talking about???

No. 334450

File: 1686361180028.png (64.09 KB, 581x471, 6.png)

>>333902
>stupid opinion that treats bi women as a monolith, assumes we've all dated men
>"no febfems"

Is this the part where I have to pretend to be shocked?

No. 334498

>>333363
>they do this just to fuck with us. its evil.
I'm not familiar with this phenomenon. Are they generally rude people or do they seek out autistics? Maybe it's just a misunderstanding? I'm not autistic so I wouldn't know.

>>333925
This actually made me so angry. Imagine the audacity to bring along a nigel without telling anyone. I can see why lesbians distrust us

No. 334522

Nonitas how does one stop feeling like a complete failure specifically for being bisexual and a complete virgin in my 20s? I know it's stupid but theoretically I have the most options and yet I'm out here with zero irl romance/sex experience because I'm a shut in autist weirdo with low self esteem. I'm fine with having never dated but I can't help but feel like a total failure. It's kind of irrational but I feel like no woman (bi, lesbian, whatever) would want to waste her time on someone like me, especially because I might not even realize if she's showing interest kek. The only people who would want me are probably like perverted males with a virgin fetish but I dont want to do that, especially bc I dont want to date men in the first place. Idk it's bleak I just needed to vent. Sage just in case

No. 334543

I just feel like getting this off my chest I guess. I am bi, and dont care to make that known to anyone irl unless it is very specifically somehow relevant to the situation (never is, why would it be) and I am dating a man, probably marriage soon . I havent been attracted to women to the point of "I see a future with this woman- sharing living space, finances, buying a house, adult mundane crap" but I also struggled very heavily with internalized misogyny being raised in a borderline religious cult as a 'gnc' (is there a better word yet) woman. I am much more sexually attracted to women, and realized that when I still couldnt help but find this one woman I worked with insatiably beautiful despite having the shittiest personality I have ever had the displeasure of encountering kek. With men, physical attraction is so so so rare, until I get to know them and appreciate their personality and traits. I love my nigel and I feel like a future with him is very right, but I am not attracted to his body very much these days as he just doesnt take care of himself. I dont like muscular bro men but I wish he would realize his ass cheeks hang like heavy drapes and take the stairs every once in a while kek. I like penis, I think dick is fun. But I also am not huge on having stuff inside of me. I wonder sometimes if my sexuality, had it not been influenced by my environment so heavily, would have ended up more female attracted physically as well as romantically. Idk. I feel like my nigel and I are best friends and sometimes lovers, idk if its because we are working through some long term planning hiccups or what. Ive really been missing physical intimacy but at the moment I am unwilling to initiate anything, idk why. Just some underlying stress w nigel that turns me off i guess. I wish that werent the case. I feel bad reading here when some nonnas kind of bash bi girls in straight relationships. I know only a couple people irl know Ive dated women but it didnt go anywhere. I do seem to have better chemistry with men overall. I think thats a me problem though- it is hard to say. I dont give a shit about pride and being pround, I just want to be. At the moment I am tempted to find a woman online who might want to just trade pics or something kek but thats also really creepy to admit cuz all the ways that might go wrong. I suppose i am at the point in the bi cycle, being sex deprived, i really wanna just find a cool chill lady and have some fun. But I feel guilty bc of my relationship (which he is cool with me doing things w ladies very casually if I tell him and stay honest, but I havent done that with him yet.) I feel like my attraction should be aimed at him first but that just isnt happening. If I stay honest to any potential woman i am afraid of being a 'spicy straight' and cheapening her experience because of it? Idk. I guess I just want to say I think women are attractive and get that out there since it feels like a deep kept secret of mine kek.

No. 334544

File: 1686414601752.jpg (89.48 KB, 736x736, edf0011a75450e184438eb2226a3f3…)

>>334450
>commie
>milf
>26

No. 334545

>>334522
I feel you nonna, I'm 30 and (more or less) still a virgin too, on one hand I don't care as I don't want to get married nor have a family (especially with a moid) but on the other hand I feel like I've failed too. I don't think I'm ugly but I just have no game at all, I give off zero sexual vibes, and the only people who were ever attracted to me were nerdy moids way below my league. I have no idea how to meet women, maybe I'll go on dating apps someday (my friends have pushed me hard recently to try it) but like you said I have no idea who'd want to be my first except for another sexually stunted woman I guess.

No. 334600

>>333891
Yes. Weird experience

No. 334619

>>334522
>It's kind of irrational but I feel like no woman (bi, lesbian, whatever) would want to waste her time on someone like me
If it helps you feel better, inexperience and late blooming is really common with bi/lesbians. Some women judge a lack of experience but not all, and there are plenty of other older virgins out there who would love to be with someone in the same boat.

No. 334627

File: 1686438416576.png (57.18 KB, 467x845, hashtag parenting.png)

>>334544
It's some essential tumblr cringecore

No. 334670

>>334522
>>334545
Same here, I'm in my twenties. I don't think I'm super old to be a virgin but I'm also socially retarded and have never been approached by anyone (unless I was too retarded to notice kek) and I doubt that's gonna change anytime soon. I'm not a very social person so I don't necessarily need a relationship to be happy, but I'd like to at least know what sex is like. It feels so stupid that I'd be open to both female and male partners in theory, but in practice I'm a total loner khv.

No. 334694

>>333806
You're right, and you should say it. I'm tired of privileged first world LGBT people talking over everyone and pretending to be giga-oppressed. I've seen them try their browbeating on third world bisexual women, it's pathetic and ridiculous.

No. 334732

>>333806
Just date a man

No. 334785

File: 1686507682126.jpg (54.5 KB, 500x375, aaaaaaa.jpg)

A couple of weeks ago, I locked eyes with a girl while at work and felt an instant connection. She seemed to give off strong LGBT vibes (though my 'gaydar' is broken and I think my attraction is always one-sided). The next day, I discovered she was my new coworker. Unfortunately I found out she has a boyfriend. But I'm still befriending her and going to hang out with her outside of work because, I don't know, I guess I'm a beta orbiter? I feel so dumb and pathetic.

I live like a hermit outside of work/school, and she's one of the few people I've met in my life I actually click with. Talking with her is effortless and enjoyable. I'm really grateful for just being able to talk to her and be near her, though it does hit me in the feels liking someone who's unavailable.

I'm also hesitant about telling her I'm bisexual (if I even should?). I worry she might (understandably) not want to talk to me anymore. Part of me wonders if she already knows, because I get nervous and clumsy around her, and I stare at her a lot when we're not talking (sorry am a sperg) and try to be near her. She's also the only person at work I bother having actual conversations with. With my other coworkers, I only exchange short pleasantries to avoid being fired for not integrating socially, like what happened at my last job (fuck retail).

No. 334850

How's pride month going for you all nonas?

No. 334883

File: 1686562498382.png (350.07 KB, 1234x1086, Screen Shot 2023-05-01 at 10.1…)

>>333891
YES I WENT THROUGH THIS! I went to an all girls high school and pretty much knew as soon as I started that I liked women, and then I became the token 'experiment' because I was the only one who figured out what I wanted…just to end up turning 16 and meeting the first boy i'd ever been attracted to. Back then I felt bad that i'd 'co opted' the label lesbian when I ended up not being one, but now I'm sometimes glad because dating men is so much easier, societally I mean. I also almost exclusively attracted to butch women and normal men so I find way more men I'm attracted to than butch women, unfortunately.

No. 334942

>>334785
I wouldn't being up being bisexual to her unless it's important for her to know for some reason, which I can't imagine it is. Don't shit where you eat anon. If you tell her one of 3 things can happen:

>Nothing. She says "cool" and moves on. This is the best possibility.

>She tries to rope you into her bfs threesome fantasy. Shockingly this isn't even the worst outcome.
>She's creeped out and tells everyone at work that you're a creepy lesbo and you get to tiptoe around any interaction with everyone forever.

Just don't, don't bring up your sexuality at work ever if you can POSSIBLY avoid it.

No. 334980

I really connect better with others who share the same niche interests as me, and someone who is also an autist. And it looks like I'd have better luck finding someone who does fit that in the US or EU but I'm continents away from there. I think I'm doomed to e-dating and dealing with the distance but even e-dating is hard when my interest circles are 99% moids kek I guess I'm never getting a gf ever

No. 334988

Anyone else technically bisexual but can't date men?

I've tried a straight relationship relatively late (in my early 20s) and failed.
Likely reason: I've been home-schooled, groomed to earn money and become head of the family, and to never take shit from anyone. Men were never mentioned in a romantic context because I've been raised by three asexual women. Now I just can't unsee the disrespect, the constant shit-testing guys do, the condescension, the making-you-uncomfortable-is-fun. And what do I get in the end? The downgrade to cleaner and cook.

I just can't. I'm very happy I'm bi. I seethe every time a man tries to "take charge" to show off. I were straight I would go crazy and/or join the femcel crowd.

Sometimes I want to try sex with a man because YOLO, but then I start thinking about the context and my libido fucking dies. Maybe I should hook up with someone? Not via an app, but like pick up a cute guy on a holiday and give him a handie or something? Dunno.

No. 334999

>>334543
>If I stay honest to any potential woman i am afraid of being a 'spicy straight' and cheapening her experience because of it?
I never understand why everyone like you says this as if dating women who are similar to you isn't an option. there are so many girls on lex and her and bumble who sound exactly like you, dating or married to a man and lookign for a female side piece. why don't you just mutually be each other's side pieces/experimentation partners.

No. 335018

>>334999
Guess I havent been on dating apps for quite a few years, def not since everyone was a little bi I guess. Kek. That makes perfect sense. Idk how I both held the belief that its taboo to be mostly straight and pisses off true and honest lesbians yet also knowing how sexually fluid everyone seems to be these days esp due to trendiness.

No. 335026

>>334988
Tbh I only call myself bi because I'm attracted to fictional men, I just can't find any real guy attractive, it happens once in a blue moon, just imagining having sex with a moid makes me cringe. My upbringing wasn't as severe as yours but I was never raised with marriage being some kind of ultimate goal for a woman. Also my parents' relationship has always been devoid of tenderness and displays of affection, which made me believe marriage was something boring adults did not to be alone and romantic love was a thing from Disney movies.

No. 335064

Have any anons itt successfully deprogrammed their heteronormativity? I would have sex with a woman but I can’t see myself being in a long-term relationship with one. I’ve always seen myself settling down with a man but I know the level of emotional depth is not there and thus I will always be unhappy. Is there a way to open up to dating women or is this condition something you can’t change? Am I even truly bi?

No. 335067

>>335064
Why wouldn't you want to be in a long-term relationship with a woman? Are you attracted to women?

No. 335076

>>335064
To me it sounds like, if you really want to get technical, you might be "bisexual" but not "biromantic". If you are truly sexually attracted to women, nobody can take that away from you whether or not you want to date a woman. As long as you don't go around making it your identity since you obviously aren't living any form of gay lifestyle. I'm bi and want a relationship with a woman and I think it would be amazing but I'm too worried about coming out to my family so I don't. I only really talk about being bi when it's relevant and don't try to take away from people who are actually living it in their day to day.

No. 335083

>>335064
imagine loving your best friend, sexually
thats pretty much what lesbian sex is like

No. 335088

>>335067
I’m just really used to the heterosexual female goal of settling down with a man. I can’t see my life any other way even though I know that women are the better option. Everything I could ever want can be in a woman and I’m also sexually attracted to them… but I just can’t see myself with one in public. I guess I have a lot of shame about it and a lot of my exposure to SSA women were fetishized and sexualized couples in media or porn that were clearly taboo (like on Degrassi). I probably associate my relations with women with the feelings of shame. Idk how to get out of that.

No. 335097

Fake and gay

No. 335270

File: 1686687006039.jpeg (68.11 KB, 829x939, ABF331DC-BBE1-4AF4-AF1E-5BE18B…)

ever since I had my bisexual awakening I feel like I’m going through a second puberty. It’s like I’m a teenager all over again and the smallest things or tamest ideas make me debilitatingly horny. This is actually becoming exhausting for me because I don’t have a way to act on it (am retarded). I’ve literally had to ban myself from thinking about female celebrities I like while driving because I started missing all my turns and getting to work late. Has this happened to anyone else? When does it fucking end?

No. 335345

>>335088
>>335064
I am also very social-script reliant. I can't be comfortable with something in the future unless I've imagined it over and over and over again (perhaps you are similar?).
It might help to consume more media with complex female characters who are in relationships with one another, preferably created by women. Or write your own stories, if you're into that. Also, meet and talk to other women who are dating women. Follow lesbians/women-centered bi women on social media.
It's hard when the only idea of a female-female relationship that's been drilled into your head is "two sexy femmes sexing it up for men!" It will just invade your mind, unwanted, similar to the way society-induced body image issues tend to creep in. Seeing lesbians/bi women more regularly helps it sink in that "oh shit this is possible, people do this and so can I."

I currently can't imagine dating a man despite previously trying very hard to enjoy them in the past. A natural sexual preference for women helps.

No. 335410

I'm in a committed relationship with a man I really love, but I keep having romantic and sexual dreams about women and it's driving me crazy.
The dreams usually involve me meeting some cute woman who starts to show interest in me, flirting with me and kissing me and such. I'm very into her and will flirt back and reciprocate, but at some point into the dream I suddenly realize I already have my bf (up to that point it's like I forgot about him) and begrudgingly figure I shouldn't cheat on him and try to ignore my attraction towards the woman. I'm put off when I wake up, because even though I love my bf I'm afraid that these dreams are telling me I'll never be fully satisfied not being with a woman. Maybe I shouldn't take something like a dream so seriously but I don't really know what to do with this.

No. 335643

>>335345
Thanks for the response anon. I thought of that myself with the media thing but it sucks how much wlw content is just tranny/male pandering (esp webtoons and manhua which I like to read).
It’s funny that I even have this problem because as a child I was usually into girls/women. I had little sexual attraction to men irl despite trying to force it many times until the age of 18 when something changed after I started dating a guy friend of mine.
I guess the thing I struggle with is that my potential relationships to women are so different from that of men. With women I can be friends with them without the likely escalation of sex or dating, whereas with men it’s nearly always a given that it will end up that way. Also because female sexuality is a bit different from men’s—I usually end up with ugly men because of social conditioning to find some merit in their personality but with women I’m much more comfortable just saying that I’m not attracted to them and want to be friends. It’s almost like every guy I encounter there’s a thought to give him a chance whereas I never question that with women around me. The feelings of platonic connection vs romantic connection are very distinct for me with women. I find that I can tell right off the bat when I’m attracted to a woman and it makes me realize how this must be the norm for us in heterosexual interactions by default but het/bi women have been brainwashed to really give all men in our age range a chance. Kinda off topic but I wonder if anyone relates to experiencing completely different attractions to men and women wherein one is more lenient/forgiving than the other, which is more right off the bat in terms of knowing whether you see them romantically or not.

No. 335786

File: 1686900430045.jpg (1 MB, 3072x2048, 1645273327636.jpg)

I downloaded a dating app for the first time in my lime. I'm exclusively liking women, but no one is matching with me and only a few have liked me. But men keep liking my profile left and right. Is this just what bi dating is like? Or am I just undesirable to my fellow women/are men just liking any women they come across and I shouldn't think to deep about it?

No. 335917

>>335786
It is horrible, don’t bother with moids on there because 100 percent of them are trash including the “saving grace” that are anons’ Nigels until their inevitable scrote behavior reveals itself. Women rarely check their app and will hardly message. I’ve had it happen so many times where I matched with women and then lost them as a match because they did not message within 24 hours or something. If women do respond, they are usually really short with their messages. As a bisexual I’ve just accepted being single forever because it seems that so many women in the dating world are just looking for external validation and those who aren’t are impossible to find. Most bisexual women who actually want to date someone have probably caved to dating moids because of how much easier it is to get one.

No. 336009

>>335786
What app are you using? From my experience though this seems like a universal experience across dating apps. I usually get so sick of it I turn off my visibility to men, also it's annoying as fuck when you think a woman has liked you and it turns out it's a TIM. It's not completely hopeless though, I've met a few women on apps, it just seems to require more effort and patience. Also >>335917 I've had the same problem with short replies in the past, sometimes it feels like there's an expectation to carry the conversation the way a desperate man might and it feels awkward.

No. 336075

>>335917
Meeting women outside of apps is the answer, nona. Getting out in the world and engaging with interest groups and making new friends is always the healthiest, even for the hetties.
Unless your country is super homophobic, in which case I'm sorry it's like that.

No. 336152

File: 1687050311979.jpeg (68.74 KB, 492x492, 1637342759903.jpeg)

I've never really understood the "hehe ur just spicy straight"/"bisexual women not real" thing. I grew up with people thinking I was a lesbian for reasons I couldn't understand, and I still get mockingly called a "lesbian" because I'm attracted to effeminate men (but then they turn around and call me "straight" because I'm attracted to butch women). Seems like you can't really win. Also, it comes off as so dishonest and pathetic when people bringing up obviously desperate straight women "opening" their relationship and trying to find other women for their moids to fuck as "bisexual women activity". Like they're just looking for any excuse to dunk on bi women, even when they know what's actually going on. I feel like bisexual men don't get any of this shit. People sometimes call them gay, but at least they don't try to deny their same-sex attraction altogether. Straight women often lose interest or find it disgusting, though, so maybe it balances out. Whatever.

No. 336160

File: 1687055149030.png (143.93 KB, 645x902, scaredofvaginas.png)

>>336152
Tbf nona, the current kweer line of thought is to take everyone at their word about their identity regardless of how nonsensical or obnoxious it is, so in the eyes of wokefolx any straight woman who says she's bi even though she openly finds vagina disgusting is totally valid and if you suggest she's really straight you're an evil gatekeeper. i know that wasn't the main point of your post though, it just doesn't help people's attitudes towards actual bi women. a lot of the same kind of "everything is valid" people seem convinced bi men are all softbois in touch with their feminine side when really they're just like straight scrotes except they also like dick.

No. 336179

>>336152
This. Though I also agree with >>336160 I feel like it's such an unfair situation for bi women who get questioned constantly just because some kweerio activist types make posts about bisexuality for clout. Even here I've had anons tell me "lol every hetty bettie basic staight girl thinks she's bi" when I've made a short post about my experiences crushing on a girl and acting weird about it because I was a lonely sperg.

And I relate to your post a lot, because I'm mainly attracted to "feminine" men and "masculine" women, and because I've always been tomboyish myself, people seem to assume I'm lesbian by default. I suspect this is why guys rarely even approach me. They put me in this token lesbian one of the guys category, and the type of men I'd be attracted to (effeminate bookish guys) tend to be somehow intimidated by me. I'd rather date women anyway so it doesn't matter that much, but I mention this because it's been like this basically my whole life and it's wildly different from the idea that some people seem to have of bi women's experiences.

No. 336181

>>336152
Actually…yeah, offline no one ever assumes I'm hetero or bihet. I do get they-them'd but I've full-on had friends I'm out to as bi be weird when I mention liking men in my past. Albeit also effeminate and delicate men. I do openly prefer women, however.
This is likely not relatable, but in high school I had an acquaintance who also thought I was a young gay boy for months since I was fat, ugly, masculine, and sound androgynous. This was pre-gender times and makes me laugh now. The bihet experience is not a narrative I can identify with given all of this.

No. 336185

>>336181
>in high school I had an acquaintance who also thought I was a young gay boy for months
Oh fucking hell nona I'm >>336179 and almost exactly the same thing happened to me. I had a buzzcut in high school and people at first assumed I was a guy and then seemed super confused when I said my name which is a female name. However, one dude I talked to semi-regularly thought I was a boy for whole six months, due to him being an immigrant and thus not knowing the gender of rarer names like mine. He couldn't believe it when it was revealed to him I was a girl.

No. 336572

>>336179
>>336181
>>336185
I can't really relate bc I'm not GNC but I also had rumors about being a lesbian. I guess it was bound to happen because I had no interest in dating boys at that age. Those rumors still have a hold on me somewhat, esp when I remember some weird pornsick moid was talking to other boys about how I'd definitely be the type to "experiment with women" aka have sex with women. I hate that he's essentially right and the satisfaction of being right that he and others would get if I did actually settle down with a woman.

No. 337341

Do any nonas relate to this?
I get crushes on moids easier but that's all there is to it. It's all a manic dopamine rush that I feed off for a month at max and then it shrivels to dust. I can't imagine actually settling down with any moid I crush on, or even getting too emotionally close, because men are emotional retards with neanderthal levels of empathy. I used to pin this on a super dismissive-avoidant attachment style but the idea of being in a long-term relationship with a moid, waking up and making breakfast and doing chores or studying together repulses me. I think I care about them whenever I'm riding the manic high, but once it drops, I usually feel nothing but disgust.
I don't know, I guess I just don't think it's possible to have a wholly fulfilling and soul bound type relationship with a moid? I crave emotional intimacy, so how can we fully connect entirely if there's parts of me (terf) he can never relate to or understand?
On the other hand, when it comes to women, I can imagine all these things. Living a normal life, doing not-so-pretty human things around them because they're women with empathy. I can see myself actually opening up and all my avoidance fading around them, and the attraction is slow but it's a more genuine, actual love.
I've never felt the dopamine high with a woman though, which made me think I was probably faking being attracted to women when I was a teenager. The long-term, marriage phase is 100 times better than any crush honeymoon phase though and I'm glad I've experienced it.

No. 337463

Anyone else a later bloomer when it comes to OSA? I did use to think I was a lesbian in my teens and I have 0 interest in real life men except maybe some unattainable celebrities, I'd rather die a virgin than fuck a man.

No. 337469

I don't really have any opinion on het-partnered bi women as a whole, some are annoying, some are nice, there are far more men who like women than women who like women so statistically it makes sense that there are so many. However the "I like looking at sexy girls with my boyfie teehee" kind can go to hell.

No. 337479

>>337469
I agree or “unicorn hunting” eeewww. My moid knows I’m bi and thankfully never brings it up. Exes always brought up threesomes or me having a gf on the side in their creepy way. If I crush on a woman I keep it to myself and protect it in my heart from being tainted by masculine perversion

No. 337488

I feel like my husband is the only man I can be attracted to. And drawings.

No. 337495

>>337488
> I feel like my husband is the only man I can be attracted to.
Probably because you settled and live with your head in the clouds as to what he’s really like. Most men are not attractive and absolutely no man is worth a woman’s commitment.

No. 337517

I couldn't give less of a shit if you're a bi woman and have a moid as your partner but if you do, do not go to Pride or bring him there. Maybe I'm being a bit too tinfoiling or strawman here but why are you celebrating being attracted to women while being in a supposed committed relationship? Shouldn't that be a sign you're not fully into said relationship if you're still focusing on your other half? I don't know. I'm just sick of bi women bringing their unwashed ugly nigels to Pride.

No. 337599

>>337341
Yeah, I can relate to the part of wanting a long-term relationship with another woman and not a moid. As far as crushes go, they're pretty much the same for me, although they're few and far in between. But I can't imagine settling down with a moid or committing to a very close relationship. FWB or dating but living separately I could do, but I wouldn't want to move in or get into a kind of almost symbiotic relationship some couples seem to have, whereas with a woman I would be willing to live together. I also doubt I could do FWB with a woman because I'd catch feelings eventually. I think it is because women are inherently more relatable due to common experiences.

No. 337621

File: 1687728179730.jpg (28.18 KB, 736x724, 69d3a1c7229f51ccc1c815c9e546a5…)

tw:// religious trauma, csa
I'm sorry if any of you nonas relate to this. let me state that I grew up in a very dysfunctional religious household and gay rights in my country are basically non-existent, homophobia is literally encouraged here. emotionally avoidant parents who didn't monitor mine and my older sister's internet access didn't make it any better. my older sister (who's 6 years older than me) got exposed to pornography at the young age and then she molested me when I was around 5-7, this wasn't one time thing though, it lasted for a while, I didn't fully understand the nature of it, what she was doing to me and I was "going along with it". I was thinking at some point that it was "consensual" up until 12, that's when I recalled those events and had a heavy mental breakdown upon realization. I never brought it up with her or anyone. I locked it away somewhere deep in my subconscious.

Now why I chose this as a premise - I have been identifying as a bisexual since early teens. I'm 18 now. I sometimes feel guilty, wondering if my homosexual attraction is just a trauma response or feeling sexually repressed from religious trauma, that all of this is wrong and I'm "dirty". this lead me to being unable to connect with people romantically, not literally, I have had many options but I couldn't bring myself to pursue them. I still feel like a social outcast despite not having much issues when it comes to socializing, I'm retarded I must admit. As other nonas mentioned, I experience this "bi-cycle" phenomena, I find myself more attracted to males physically but I can't imagine myself in a life-long relationship with them, I'm very much planning on settling down with a woman at the very end, maybe somewhere in a small european town, away from the evils of this world.(learn2integrate)

No. 337628

I’ve always heard that sex with a woman is so amazing (especially oral), and my one experience was so disappointing like with a moid. I’m pretty sure the girl was actually straight though. Is it generally true that it’s better with women? I have had other experiences with kissing and making out and I definitely think women kiss better than men. Just feels bad that I’m probably never going to have a super hot sexual experience with a woman. I’m 30 and feel like it’s too awkward to try at this point.

No. 337640

>>337628
how the hell did you wind up with a straight girl trying to eat your pussy?

No. 337665

>>337640
Idk I think she was just experimenting. But it didn’t feel like real sexual chemistry, more like she was doing porn acting. It was a super random hook-up from 8 years ago.

No. 337674

>>334980
late but felt. absolutely felt.

No. 337682

>>333834
Posts like this is why I stop listening and disregard everything they say when someone starts a sentence with "I'm bisexual and" when talking about pride and gay rights.

No. 337719

>>337469
"I like to use my sexuality to be a pick-me and objectify other women with my misogynistic scrote" basically.
However, if you're both bisexual women and objectify men together like they deserve, based kek

No. 337721

>>337682
No one cares, anon.

No. 337835

being bisexual is a mindfuck

No. 337900

>>337495
What the fuck… reading comprehension, nonna.

No. 337913

>>337900
>bumping thread to respond to a 3 day old bait comment

No. 338079

I can't get off when a guy fingers me or does oral lol. It's almost like I go numb down there and low-key get annoyed. Women though… absolutely.

I do get off on penetration, which is the point with my being with guys lol. But yeah that makes me a bit of a size queen bc wow a small penis is a waste of a man.

I think it's because I can feel the porn influence in how they do it and it's a major turn off. I haven't been with a pornsick woman to compare

No. 338112

File: 1688012414900.jpg (21.72 KB, 640x528, WExSgeB.jpg)

Does anyone have any advice on coming out to your middle eastern mother? (She's a 1st gen immigrant, we currently live in the states). As a young febfem, I think it's important that she knows so it doesn't come as a shock if Im with another woman.

She is not highly traditional or religious and is not strictly by the books, says she doesn't mind that gays exist but gets mixed reactions when she hears about all the woke degenerate activist shit that goes on during pride month. It's so tough when LGBs are constantly lumped in with "Kweer activism" that makes us look like a joke. Obviously she understands that not all gays stand for this crap, but it sure does get in the way of gaining support when it does happen. Sometimes having discussions about LGB politics with her introduce nuance and understanding.

I love my mom. She's always been there for me. The very least thing that could happen is she would not look at me the same, or would believe I'm wrapped up in this "2SLGBTQIAP+ cult" and get politics involved. The worst being that I could be disowned, although I doubt it'd come to that (her and I are close), but that possibility of my muslim mother, born and raised in a homophobic country, suddenly turning on me is a very terrifying thought.

How should I handle this? Anyone else have experieince/success stories/advice? Best ways to casually come out?

No. 338113

>>338112
Westerners emphasize coming out too much. It doesn't need to be a production. Simply tell her when it becomes relevant. You probably wouldn't tell her about fancying a man, but would likely inform her if you had a male partner, so treat it the same.
You didn't mention in your post if you are dependent on her in any way; if you are, then wait until you are independent i.e. have shelter and money of your own.
I think most first-gen immigrants are more accepting than many people would think, but they do emphasize community perception. The best way to convey to her that nothing about you will change by dating a woman is to already be dating a woman.

No. 338191

>>338113
>Simply tell her when it becomes relevant.
That's what I planned on doing. I don't want it to become a huge deal so I've always thought that I could just casually mention it instead of having a long conversation.

The only reason I really ask about how to come out is because there's so much more divided conversation about sexuality these days. As for dependancy, I'm attending Uni and she's helping me pay half my tuition and residence costs (I'm also working part time and paying for myself). I honestly don't think i'd be cut off financially bc as long as I'm getting high marks and working hard, she'll want me to keep going.

>best way to convey to her that nothing about you will change by dating a woman is to already be dating a woman.

The only thing about this is I know it can sometimes be a huge deal if someone's partner is not already out to their parents, (the whole "this relationship isn't serious enough that you haven't told your parents about me yet" thing). Which makes me wonder if it's in my best interest to mention it before or after I get a girlfriend.

No. 338204

>>338191
>The only thing about this is I know it can sometimes be a huge deal if someone's partner is not already out to their parents
you're overthinking it and should cross the bridge when you come to it. find a girlfriend first, then have a conversation with your mother. the vast majority of bisexual and lesbian women have been in your shoes and the right partner will understand your situation. you're young as well, so it's not unusual to not be out to family yet.

>The only reason I really ask about how to come out is because there's so much more divided conversation about sexuality these days.

bisexuality is a sexual orientation, not a political identity. there will always be annoying ~kweerz~, just like there will always be vocal idiots in any group. your mother can draw her own conclusions about where you land in the politicized landscape simply from your past, current, and future behavior.

focus on being confident in yourself and your orientation, making connections with other women, and exploring romance and sexual relationships. the rest will come naturally and with time. don't get ahead of yourself and dampen the joy of the experiences you could be having.

No. 338215

>>338204
Thanks for the motivation anon :) It feels reassuring knowing there's other lesbians and bisexuals in similar situations. I'm probably overthinking it too much and should take things slow.

Sometimes meeting women who are also gay can be difficult to spot. Especially in my very liberal area most gay women end up transitioning later or are very under-radar and I can't tell if they're gay. At this point I might just sign up for dating apps or something.(:))

No. 338257

File: 1688074046819.jpg (60.35 KB, 919x720, 123y134y3.jpg)

Do you use dating apps to meet women? I have used Her, but got annoyed to its wokeness (need to pick pronouns etc.) I tried Tinder now but it is hard to tell if the women are into women. There are profiles that say "I love dad bods", probably not on women though.

No. 338314

My crush rarely posts selfies (she’s a tattoo artist and uses her page for business) and she recently did and she looked so beautiful that it inspired me to write a poem. Men have never done that to me. I have spent my whole adult life crying over these mediocre bastards and getting abused by them when they don’t even touch my heart in this type of way. It’s kind of funny. I don’t even know if she’s bi but I fantasize about stealing her from her bf. It’s an innocent crush though so I don’t plan on ever actually doing anything

No. 338323

>>338257
I wish I knew how to meet women as well, everybody in these threads go "just go meet women at clubs or group activities" but how do you even do that when you're 30+? I only met other SSA women in college, otherwise I never had any les/bi coworker since I entered the workforce, where are they???

No. 338325

>>338323
>I wish I knew how to meet women as well, everybody in these threads go "just go meet women at clubs or group activities" but how do you even do that when you're 30+?
This is what I wonder too. A lot of advice for meeting bisexual/lesbian women tends to involve looking into hobbies or activities that skew towards the younger crowd where I live, and I'm not open to dating zoomers or even being friends with most of them. But most bi/lesbian women my age I meet are taken.

No. 338365

>>338323
Im only 27 but I work in engineering, I barely even meet straight women to be friends with. There is a lgbtqabcd club at my former school and I went to a meeting once but seemed like everyone there was queer enbies.

No. 338415

this might be controversial to say, but
handsome guy/pretty woman <<<< beautiful androgynous individual

When there's someone who can tickle both sides of my bisexual brain by having both masculine and feminine features, its 10000x better than anything else. considering this, it seems like I should be a top candidate for someone who would like troons, but I actually don't, idk why. I guess I only like natural androgyny

No. 338435

>>338415
I agree. I've always been into this sort of natural androgyny, but troons do nothing for me. It's less about style and more about how the person carries themselves, body language etc. Growing up, it was sometimes confusing because I didn't find the usual conventionally attractive men or women attractive at all, at least not in the sexual sense, but now that I've found out that attraction towards androgyny is not too uncommon among bi people I feel less alone kek

No. 338436

>>338415
That’s because TIMs and TIFs are rarely androgynous and usually just goofy looking, but good luck finding a hot androgynous person who isn’t a they/them or some other variant of nb

No. 338440

>>338435
>I've found out that attraction towards androgyny is not too uncommon among bi people
Is that right? Also I’m the same, most of my crushes have been thoroughly androgynous people. The type of guys who could be mistaken as women at a distance, and the type of women who could be mistaken as men from a distance. Short feminine girls and tall masculine guys usually do zilch for me.

No. 338780

>>334942
What if she's bisexual as well? I recognized a lesbian dating app on her phone when we were hanging out (even though she has a bf? wut)

No. 339046

Anyone here ever been to a women's festival? Thinking about going next year and just want to know if any bi women want to discuss what it's like. And if it's common to meet women there in a dating way because that's all I daydream about. I just want a crunchy older lesbian gf with an RV is that so much to ask of life

No. 339074

Does anyone else feel more like “straight/gay with an exception” rather than “bisexual”? Thinking of myself as bisexual feels inaccurate when I’ve only had one “exception” and besides that one person, I have never been and still am not attracted to others of that sex at all. So it’s like, regardless of if I say I’m straight or bi, both feel like lies or not really the whole story.

No. 339534

>>338415
I used to love feminine men and masculine women but the gendie brainrot makes it hard ti appreciate either, especially feminine men. It’s such a turn-off when I see they/them in someone’s bio.

No. 339593

I lean a lot more towards women but I personally don't find very feminine/androgynous men attractive at all and have a strong preference for feminine women over butch women. Not sure if this makes me more or less of a sneaky bihet than I thought I was kek. One of my biggest crushes recently was a they/them who just looked like a regular non-hyperfeminine woman. She had the most amazing pair of boobs which inevitably were cut off

No. 339694

>fancy a girl, she's straight
>fancy a guy, he's a homo
every single time

No. 339876

File: 1689126487769.jpg (155.69 KB, 900x900, graysonsprojects.jpg)

>>339694
>fancy
hi, fellow bibong?

there is just something about unattainable straight girls, i agree. i have an unfortunate weakness for taken monogamous opposite sex leaning bi people too. pic not really related, just think she's cute

No. 340035

When I was a teen my mom looked at my male celeb crushes and said they all wore makeup and looked "girly" so I was probably really gay (what) and now that I'm older my mom looks at my masculine female celebrity crush and says she's so tall and masculine that I'm basically straight. Is my mom uniquely crazy or did anyone else get this from people?

No. 340056

>>340035
Some people have no idea how bisexuality works or that it even exists, don't listen to her about your sexuality.

No. 340268

God, give me enough strength to refrain from replying to >>340264 with another pathetic "ofc this true for many bi girls, but I'm not like them!"

No. 340282

>>340268
Hopefully next time god will give you the strength to not put stupid bullshit like this in the bisexual thread too

No. 340298

>>340268
>being a pickme for lesbian women on lolcow
Wtf. This site will show you shit you'd never thought you would see.

No. 340299

>>340268
there's not much we can do about it nonny. that anon clearly speaks from experience, i can't imagine it feels great having this shit happen to you time and time again. i hate seeing posts like that but i can't say i blame lesbians for being put off by bisexual women honestly

>>340298
you're more likely to see it on lolcow more than anywhere else tbh. you get a lot of febfems who want to suck up to lesbians and theres also a ton of bi users here who talk about only wanting to be with women & cursing their attraction to men

No. 340312

File: 1689401489040.png (85.89 KB, 385x385, pepe5647587.png)

I've been having a stupid long distance crush for two years that I've done nothing about bc I'm socially retarded, but now I happened to get a chance to talk to her a bit and found out that
>she's probably straight (had a rainbow tote bag when I first met her so I had hopes but maybe it was an ally thing)
>she smokes (ew)
>she's 10 years my senior (never would've guessed, she looks young in the face)
All of the above contributing to my crush fading away slowly, which I'm honestly relieved by because it would've never happened anyway. She's still cute tho and really nice so I enjoyed talking to her.

Just wanted to vent, tfw no gf etc., but I hope I'll meet someone someday.

No. 340316

did anyone else’s bisexuality just develop as they got older? i was 14 when i figured it out. i barely felt any attraction to women but as i got older it set in. i hear conservatives say that becoming bisexual is always due to some sort of “repressed sexual trauma” but i have none that would make me like girls, it’s straight shit. i know a lot of gay men that had always liked men but slowly developed an attraction to girls as they got older. is this normal? a lot of leftists and liberals say people are born bisexual. sometimes i think it mostly applies to monosexuals though

No. 340317

>>340316
me but I used to think I was a lesbian…

No. 340345

>>340316
Me but I used to think I was straight. I seriously don’t know what happened but I am definitely not straight anymore. It’s really weird and unexplainable and sounds like bs to anyone who hasn’t gone through it though which sucks

No. 340372

>>340299
feb is quite a useful term, unfortunately so many who do use it are such annoying self-flagellating NLOBs. just live your own life and stop worrying so much about what either lesbians or "bihets" say or do

No. 340393

Anyone else have virtually no attraction to real life men? I can think of exactly one man I have sexual attraction too but I find the average woman very hot.

When I use dating sites I set my preferences to to both men and women but am only served mediocre men I can’t say I’m even marginally attracted to. There’s this moid who is constantly messaging me and trying to get me to send him pics and whatever and I recognize him as incredibly conventionally attractive but I have absolutely no interest in him.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just call myself a lesbian since I am one functionally (guy I’m attracted to is basically never gonna even know I exist) but that feels unfair to lesbians. For the record I’ve only dated women and plan to keep it that way since the average scrote makes me feel nauseous. Idk maybe I shouldn’t care about labels.

No. 341112

>>340316
I think preferences can just change as you get older and have more experience with people/relationships

No. 341220

>>340316
late bloomer?
>>340393
I relate to this a bit… I’m sexually attracted to both but I fell 0 romantic attraction towards any man, never fell in love with a man and I really doubt it will ever happen, which really is for the best.
>For the record I’ve only dated women and plan to keep it that way since the average scrote makes me feel nauseous.
twin lol

No. 341230

File: 1689965396064.jpeg (88.28 KB, 530x690, 6C51948A-56DD-4B2C-855E-FD039A…)

nonnies i’m dying recently i‘m bi but i only have crushes on rockstars not real life guys i’ve never had a crush or sexual attraction to a real life guy and the rockstars i like are all glam rock 70s/80s androgynous bastards (i can’t like androgynous guys now bc they’re not manly and are theythem troon retards). i’ve never even been or done anything with a guy but same with girls but i realllyyy want to get off with a girl but idk how i’d ever go about it. like how do i find a hot, NORMAL girl willing to do shit ughhhhhvbvvbbbh i only like girls that seem straight too also picrel bc michael monroe is the finest example of androgynous king

No. 341271

>>341230
Use Tinder or some other dating app?

No. 341277

>>340035
asshole family members just love saying they know you better than you know yourself.

No. 341283

>>340035
What the others said but also lmao

No. 341468

>>340316
No, I but hear many stories of women discovering being bi by falling in love with a woman. I had pretty clear attraction to both sexes since I reached that point of puberty sexual feelings start happening. Kinda feel like a coombrain for this.

No. 341491

Realizing that I'm probably not bi and just a confused straight girl when I don't think about the female form and pussy as much as I do about the male form and penises. I guess I got confused because I don't like the idea of being in a romantic relationship with a man even if my body still wants to be physically intimate with them. That and I still love reading about and consuming idealized depictions of romance in lesbian media and yuri. But I'd know I'd feel so awkward trying to date a woman for real.

No. 341513

>>341491
Whether you're really straight or bi, you don't have to date men if you're uncomfortable with the idea. It seems a lot of women meme themselves into thinking they are attracted to women and/or not attracted to men because they understandably don't want to date men. I used to call myself a lesbian (then again I was also one of those who were late bloomers when it comes to OSA), I actually was convinced I was a "lesbian with comphet" because I had no interest in attainable men or actually being in a heterosexual relationship in real life. I'd say I was even trying to suppress my attraction to men because I assumed acknowledging it meant I'd inevitably end up with a man, and the idea made my skin crawl. But it also gave me impostor syndrome about my own attraction to women, I kept switching between believing I was either a "comphet lesbian" or a "polilez straight woman with internalized male gaze". Anyway heterosexual relationships are not inevitable, even if you are actually attracted to men, even if you are actually exclusively attracted to men you don't have to go anywhere near one ever in your life. Realizing that actually made me a lot more comfortable in my (bi)sexuality.

No. 341553

>>341513
NTA but this is a fantastic post, thank you for sharing your perspective and experience.

No. 341566

>>341513
really thoughtfully put.

No. 342589

Not to be weirdly specific, but lately i've been super into women's upper torso/ ribcage area. It's so graceful and gracile compared to men. I'm almost exclusively into small boobs specifically because it doesn't obstruct the silhouette of a woman's beautiful ribcage/chest shape. Does anyone get what I mean or am I just a weirdo? lol

No. 342621

>>342589
Can’t relate but as a chestlet you’re making me feel rather appreciated teehee

No. 342850

File: 1690909615664.jpg (49.77 KB, 737x737, cute crying cat.jpg)

Ever since last night I've been overcome by an overwhelming sense of love for bisexual women and I literally feel like my heart is about to burst. Whether you lean straight or gay, I love you all so much, you're all awesome and amazing. The world needs you and I love you.

No. 342873

File: 1690925351735.jpg (247.07 KB, 1400x1400, half-life-gordon-freeman-alyx-…)

>playing Half-Life 2 as a kid
>Gordon is the player character
>everything is supposed to be seen through his eyes
>meet Alyx
>wow she's so cute!
>wow she's literally me!
>but cooler!
>Alyx is also teased as a love interest for Gordon
>good for her she deserves to be loved
>wait do I want to be like her or
>do I actually want to be with her??
>girls can be together like that, right???
>but I'm a guy in the game and it's not real so I guess it shouldn't matter anyway…
>Gordon is a blank state so the player can project whatever onto him
>as Gordon Freeman I feel the need to be a good boyfriend to a woman as cool and cute as Alyx Vance (who is literally me but also not Me but also who I'd really like to be but also who I'd really like to date)
>and so my headcanon of Gordon is pretty much a lovable Nigel for Alyx because that's what I feel she (I?) deserves
>end up crushing on him too
>still would happily do either of them
lol me

No. 342946

>>342873
Relatable post.

No. 343170

I frequently see masculine women complaining about being treated as Men Lite(TM) and that sounds awful. but to me it is reversed. Men are just Masc Women Lite(TM) who don't do it as well as women. It's weird, but I tend to think women look better masculine and men look better feminine, kek.

No. 343181

>>343170
>It's weird, but I tend to think women look better masculine and men look better feminine
It's not weird anon, it's such a typical bi thing it's basically a meme

No. 343262

File: 1691202720902.jpg (89.45 KB, 1024x768, depositphotos_96942904-stock-p…)

Was anyone a late bisexuality bloomer who fell for a person of the gender they previously hadn't been interested in at all, but then after that initial person, started finding other people of that gender attractive? I didn't used to be into women at all, but after falling for one woman in my mid twenties i suddenly started being attracted to other women too. I feel like she literally unlocked a universe that would never have been available to me if I hadn't encountered her as the instigator. But logically, this doesn't make any sense to me if we accept that sexuality doesn't change. Thinking about this makes me really curious about the mechanisms behind sexuality, but I know that's a taboo topic. I understand why it's taboo, but it is frustrating sometimes to be without answers about yourself.

No. 343318

>>343262
Boring answer: there'd shit u were repressing that you weren't aware of

No. 343321

Hate feeling invalidated by people just because I haven't slept with a girl. It's stupid! That's like saying I couldn't have known if I liked men until I slept with one. No one ever says that!!

No. 343364

File: 1691279532506.jpeg (185.89 KB, 976x1523, CFF8B5A8-85C1-4816-8484-F7C34C…)

Sorry for long unwarranted relationship rant- I’ve been thinking about women more and more while in a long term relationship with a man that I’m ending soon. I question my bi sexuality because I have a hard time imagining being sexual with a woman, but I’m not a very sexual person to begin with at this point in my life. But also sometimes I feel like I don’t respect men and that’s why I have had sex with them, and I put women on a pedestal. It could just be that I’m put off by men idk but I’d be pretty happy just living with a woman instead. I’m still interested in the idea of a partnership, but I find women so much more appealing and often times sexier. I’ve been with someone who over time became a man child. I apologize to non confused bisexuals and lesbians for my and others confusions, I realize it isn’t fair when it comes to dating. Hence why I’m hiding in a hole for 20 years after this relationship

No. 343365

>>343364
Kinda weird that you think having sex with someone is disrespectful to them. Seems like you have some hangups about sex, but I'm a virgin so I can't provide any advice or perspective. I just know that sex stems from sexual attraction so if you find someone hot you'll want to fuck them, so you'll probably feel that way towards a woman you find attractive once you meet her. And the reason you're dating a man is because you felt sexually and romantically attracted to him, and you're ending the relationship probably because you're not attracted to him anymore. Wish you the best though.

No. 343368

>>343365
Oh yeah I’ve got my own baggage with sex, I was groomed throughout my teenhood. I don’t necessarily feel like that is set in stone the case but if I’m gonna freud myself it could be a possibility for why I feel that way. Thank you for the well wishes. I just wonder if anyone else has gone through something similar with questioning their bisexuality while in a straight relationship. I guess I’ll find out when I get back into dating.

No. 343379

File: 1691289669119.jpg (454.55 KB, 710x700, abiduction.jpg)

>>343318
I mean, that would make the most sense from an outside perspective, but I know in my case I was not repressing anything. For most of my life I actually lamented being straight (am a man hater) but realized after trying as a teen I couldn't force myself to be attracted to women so I just made my peace with my heterosexual lot in life and decided to be a celibate.
So how does it make sense that now, years later, I suddenly am uncontrollably fantasizing about pussy? Was the woman I fell for just so objectively sexy I had a stroke and rewired my sexuality? Did aliens abduct me and replace the sex part of my brain? If so, thank you aliens.

What was extra weird is it felt like I went through the same stages of developing sexual attraction that i did as a pre-teen all over again but for women. Not to be gross and tmi, but for example of what i mean, I remember the first sexual thoughts i had as a kid related to feeling funny when I imagined men peeing… then when I got a crush on a woman the first thing that made me feel funny was imagining the same thing, and it evolved from there just like it did the first time. So it literally felt like I witnessed myself growing a new branch of sexuality. A born again pussy eater, if you will. So like, what the fuck?

No. 343476

>>343364
There is nothing wrong with being questioning, just dont jump into a relationship with a woman if you are not sure that is what you want. Also desiring someone is not disrespect, bad sexual experiences can twist the way you see sex. That is a thing that is good to figure out before entering any new relationship. I was celibate myself for couple of years for the same reason.

No. 343555

Does anyone else have really weird fantasies about het sex? I get really horny imagining myself as a man with a woman I like and I think it's because I know exactly what to do to make her horny for (man) me because I am also a woman who has been attracted to men. So it winds up being some weird combination of being turned on by what I imagine myself doing to her and also somehow self-inserting to what she is feeling from my actions. Like sex-ception where I am both people at once.

No. 343573

>>343555
That sounds kind of based nona. Tbh this might be a little different but I often wish I could experience PIV sex from the perspective of a man. I never really trooned out (was an internet they/them prior to my peaking at most) but I still have times when I just want a dick to fuck women with. It doesn't help that a lot of my crushes end up being either het leaning or straight kek

No. 343576

>>343573
ayrt, i get that too. Sometimes I get really jealous that I can't ever experience being inside a woman and it pisses me off so I try not to think about it kek. I also have retarded fantasies about ejaculating against her cervix and making her pregnant and again i think for me it's another example of my tendency for sex-ception where I want her and also self-insert into what she's feeling all at once. I feel like it's fucked up and maybe something is wrong with me for being this way so i would never admit it anywhere but here. But then again i wonder if this is just what it's like to be bi and attracted to both "POV"s of heterosexual sex. Although it's probably more likely that I'm just weird.

No. 343615

>>343573
>>343576
Yeah, I totally self-insert as a moid in my fantasies. I write erotica sometimes, and while I was kind of a fujo as a teenager, I nowadays prefer writing straight stuff because that way I get to experience both sides of it. I also have a bad case of skinwalking both male and female crushes. I think this is part of the reason some bi women troon out, at least in my personal experience being bi can sort of fuck with your perception of yourself, especially if you're gnc.

No. 343715

>>343615
I'm >>343573 and it makes me so happy to know other bi anons have similar experiences. Outside of this thread I've never seen this discussed even though I follow several bi FB groups. I'm sort of GNC, mostly androgynous if anything and always felt like I had to be "pretty"/more feminine to appeal to men and the loudest het leaning bi women. I used to be a bit of a fujo too and switched to mostly reading M/F for the same reason you mentioned. I wouldn't think fantasies like >>343576 are a universal bi experience but it's great to know they're not totally unheard of

No. 343809

>>343615
>>343715
I dont relate to the fantasies, cant actually even really imagine having penis. But I admit to skinwalking males from both the fujo "became the ideal bf" and attracting women reasons. Like Im a reversed agp troon.

No. 344135

Saging for NLOG blog but I wish I could find other bi women whose attraction I can relate with. Many I come across express attraction to women in a very male-focused way. I don’t mean “real F/F attraction is asexual and pure uwu”, but feels like a lot of these women have never checked out a woman without a man at their side ogling too. I view my attraction to women as almost sacred in the sense that the idea of including men in it is revolting to me despite being attracted to men separately. Can anyone relate here?

No. 344144

>>344135
I get what you mean, I don't relate to a lot of the bi women around me, and even my gay friends think I'm one of the more tolerable ones. We're never escaping the allegations lmao

No. 344244

>>344135
>>344144
DA out of curiosity do you think this is because the majority of bi women strongly prefer men? afaik this isn't proven or anything but it's what seems to be true to me after being out for 10+ years. It always feels a bit disingenuous to me when other bi people say the reason for partnering with the opposite sex is that it's "a numbers game". I really think if the majority were equally into both sexes or preferred the same sex then the most talked about bi discussions wouldn't be pointless stuff like whether it's "still valid" to be in an M/F relationship.

No. 344247

>>344244
AYRT. That is definitely a factor, but the biggest confusion for me (and not just surrounding this specific topic) is why bi women on average seem MORE male-centered/pickme than straight up het women. It’s true that most bi women lean male but I wonder if a significant chunk of the women in bi spaces are straight larpers or genuinely confused (I’ve seen women who think they’re bi for simply finding a woman pretty in an aesthetic sense!). Or maybe that’s just me coping for not being able to relate to 90% of my co-orientationists lmao, probably.

No. 344248

>>344247
I wouldn't know the answer to that first part kek. It's hard to openly discuss much without being accused of gatekeeping. Sexuality isn't a club people can join, you either are SSA or you aren't regardless of aesthetics, politics or anything else. Saying things like "oh I just like people, I'm queer" is so annoyingly and unnecessarily vague and acting like genitals aren't relevant to sexual orientation only adds to people's confusion.

No. 344259

>>344135
I think those women are pretending to feel attracted to women so checking women out with their bfs on the side is like getting revenge from or being equal to their bfs in pervertedness or disloyalty. I've never seen that irl tbh

No. 345192

I posted before about my issues (although not sure if it was in this thread) regarding a completely fluid sexuality, but I'm at such a loss with how to deal with this that these days i often feel like I don't want to keep living when I think about this going on forever. I'm just exhausted. I go through 100% gay periods where I'm disgusted my men, 100% straight periods where I'm disgusted by women, and 100% asexual periods (but weirdly, not physically, just mentally; I get horny but am disgusted by both sexes and so have no outlet). I can't relate to myself from other periods to the point I gaslight myself about my past, even my recent past feelings. Since the current phase always seems so "obvious" in the moment, I berate myself for having been so stupid before, ad infinitum. I started journaling my feelings on this topic on a regular basis so that when one of my alternate sexuality doppelgangers takes over and tries to say past me was lying or stupid, i can re-read my entries and see it was real. But even that doesn't convince me. What I wrote always sounds like it was written by another person, that's how foreign it is to me when I read it back while in another phase.
Honestly lately the hardest part has been the asexual periods where I am disgusted by both men and women but still have a sex drive, it feels bizarre and impossible and alien-like to be extremely horny but can't think of a single thing that is sexually appealing.

I have seen people insist this means bisexuality, but I don't think it can be. I don't really have an internal sense of sexual identification because of my issues, but the one that feels the most wrong is bisexual. I am never in a bisexual phase where gay me and straight me come together. If they did, none of this would be so distressing, things would make sense.
I don't really have any faith in therapists, but at this point I am so close to the end of my rope I desperately want to try it. But my insurance is so bad I can't afford it. There's nowhere I can go for help. I am so romantically lonely that it hurts horribly, but there's no one on earth I could be happy dating long-term, as humans can't switch sexes at will and I become repulsed by men or women in when I'm in different phases. I think if I ever kill myself, I wouldn't even admit this issue in a note or anything, no one would understand and most people would think it's a stupid reason. This is probably the only place I will ever admit it.

No. 345199

>>345192
Girl, bi.

No. 345221

>>345199
Yes, I’m aware that other people consider this bisexuality, hence why I posted in the bisexual thread. I wasn’t asking for a determination.

No. 345378

>>345192
Sorry I can't give any useful advice, I'm really the opposite of this, but just out of curiosity how do you feel about TIFs/TIMs and "nonbinary" people? Also when someone asks about your sexuality irl what do you usually say?

No. 345486

>>345378
I’m very much NOT into TIMs or TIFs. I mean, all cute tomboys these days are TIFs and if they haven’t been on hormones yet then technically I think they’re cute but the gender identity is a turn off.
I dread questions about sexuality and avoid them at all costs. Luckily no one really asks me. If they did I’d probably just laugh off the question and change the topic I guess. I kind of sort of came out to my parents during a mental breakdown and described my problem and they didn’t get why it’s so distressing to me or why I was so upset about it. People online have told me the same thing too. So I realized that other people are never going to get it, which is why I will keep the reason to myself if I ever decide to kms.

No. 345815

File: 1692648846357.png (1.17 MB, 843x837, A5936C95-06E8-48DF-8A82-71AFDC…)

Anyone else a closeted bi? I feel so uncomfortable with my family knowing I’m bi, my mum and brother don’t believe it exists (kek) and call it being “greedy” and I have made some comments before so as not to seem suspicious when the entire fucking time I knew I was bisexual. They’d definitely perceive me differently, they seem to have this view that there is only gay or straight and being bisexual is some kind of sexual deviancy, even though I’m a virgin and have never had a gf/bf. I’m kind of having a crisis about this at the moment, I’m pining for a gf and I like girls a lot more than guys in general but it feels so fucking weird hiding like this when I’m extremely close to my family. It makes me feel sick tbh. Also, does anyone know the best dating app to meet girls with the least trannies? Her is pretty much off the table now, I tried it a few years ago and even then it was filled with trannies.

No. 346241

I have no choice but to admit at this point that I know I'm bisexual. I'm 24, and over the years I've found girls beautiful/hot/cute but I always wrote it off as just observing them aesthetically. There's a girl in my grad program who I saw last year and always thought she was cute, always liked when she spoke up in class. This year she sits next to me in one of my classes and I literally cannot focus around her, I'm so nervous and giddy when she talks to me. When she speaks up in class I hang on to her every word. I find everything she does, even just the way she brushes her hair from her forehead, so perfect and lovely. She has the softest looking hair and the most kissable lips I've ever seen. She's so classy and confident and smart. I made her laugh after class today and her smile and laugh were so beautiful to me I turned bright red and felt so overwhelmed that I got her to laugh at a joke I made.

Feeling so infatuated would be a wonderful feeling, except that I have a boyfriend right now. I either have to let the feelings fade or break up with him. I've felt similar feelings of infatuation toward him, but I also feel like men are objectively uglier, and I never want to just gaze at him in awe the way I do with her. Instead, I feel guilty and deceitful. I have no idea if she's interested in women either, so I don't want to break up just to shoot my shot with a straight woman. But god she's so lovely, she makes me wish I could paint better. Just wanted somewhere to admit this because I know there's no denying it to myself now.

No. 346275

>>346241
That girl sounds really beautiful. I’d try to be her friend and ask her if she’s into women or if she’s straight. Then break up with your bf so even if she isn’t into women then you can try to date other women kek.

No. 346276

>>345815
I’m closeted because my sister is a lesbian and I’ve always felt a weird responsibility to be the straight one in the family. I also associate a lot of my bisexuality with porn and watching things I wasn’t supposed to as a kid so it makes me feel like a deviant. Sorry if I trigger anyone with this btw.

No. 346559

>>346276
are you me?

No. 346695

>move to new city
>meet some new friends
>new friends introduce me to the most beautiful girl i've ever seen in my entire life
>they/them pronouns
>has a band w a bunch of troons and makes music about the struggles of being a troon (despite looking like just a normal woman with a normal name, she's not even that gnc despite being "enby")
why can't the universe give me even one good thing… she is literally so gorgeous, but no matter how much i am attracted to her and how well we click, i don't want to have to play the pronoun game and go through the mental gymnastics and always be on edge. while i am crypto in my friend group as a whole, going the extra mile to fake support for enby nonsense just to sleep with her seems like scrote behavior and i would feel scummy for doing it.

No. 346716

>>346559
No anon, please do share your feelings/thoughts bc I’ve never met anyone who had similar feelings!!! All bi women I know say that they came out to their parents at like 12 and their parents were cool with it. For me I deduced that being into women was not the “norm” at a young age and hid it to myself. A lot of my teenage years were not being attracted to boys but like a long period of that bi “cycle” where I was exclusively into other girls. I also only dated boys at that age to fit in and would always panic and break up like a day or so in because I didn’t actually want to be with them.

No. 346733

>>346695
>i don't want to have to play the pronoun game and go through the mental gymnastics and always be on edge

As someone else who's crypto, it sounds to me like you're already doing that with your friend group. It's probably the sad truth for most cryptos that if we were ever fully honest we'd lose our friendships. I still think cryptos need to invent some kind of secret signal for one another kek, it would help so much with the dilemma of whether or not to hook up with gendies/wolque folx

No. 346747

>>346276
Are we the same person wtf. My brother is also gay, so I feel even more burden to be the straight one.

No. 347471

Every time I get into a long term relationship with a man I start questioning if I'm gay. I've always considered myself bi, but when I date a man long enough I start thinking about women. Though, I'm not sure if it's just me emotionally detaching from the relationship at hand. I've been dating my bf for around a year now and he's great. He's sweet, loving, supportive. I (mostly) enjoy having sex with him. When it comes down to it though, I fantasise about women, being with them, having a relationship with a woman. Maybe I'm bi-cycling, maybe I'm running from something. But I don't know, I just don't feel my relationship feels…..complete. And I run into this issue every time. I used to think it was because I've had a history of abusive to just downright bad relationships with men, but being in a healthy one and still feeling this gut feeling, I don't know…. I'm lost.

No. 347718

>>346733
i've been able to find friends that i haven't had to go crypto for. we're all open about our disgust in the gender game. it was quite a relief. i think the only thing that can tip it off is liking something that most gendies wouldn't like. for my friends and i, we breathed a sigh of relief when we found out we could stop walking on those eggshells, because we all shared the common interest in liking million dollar extreme lmao. but even before we all met IRL, we had some dogwhistles on our social media profiles that could turn you into the direction of that idea. for example, explicitly using the word female and saying how you're tired of ending up being friends with men. either way, it's such a struggle to even be around they/thems, their entire personality just reveals how online they are and realizing how much the internet ruins peoples sense of self and individuality, you forcefully start looking for people who are more disconnected from shit that doesn't matter.

No. 347749

>>347471
It's a sacrifice for sure. I don't think moids will ever understand that. I'm in the same position and I've just accepted it because poly is gross.

No. 347782

>>347718
AYRT I relate to that last bit for sure, part of it is the language they use like everything is always "valid" and "queer" and even if all I do is say LGBT instead of LGBTTTTQK or not retweet dumb shit about hating JKR or trans rights I get the feeling I stick out like a sore thumb. Also tbh I have an unfortunate attraction to alt artsy women who are often enby (hate the word enby, it sounds like the name of a cartoon bus) types but often the way they describe being qweer is vague enough that I'm never 100% sure if they actually like pussy lmao. idk if this all sounds too negative, I used to be active in a few fandoms but haven't been for a while, would love to get into something with a high crypto population

No. 347814

>>347471
I'm the same except I’ve been with my guy for 5 years and I’m pretty sure we’re going to get married and all of that. I still think about women constantly. He knows it too and jokes about how if we ever broke up I’d go lesbian… but it’s not really a joke. I’d still be bi by definition but I am set on this being my last relationship with a man either through us ending up together or me finally having the balls to date women if things end. It’s sad bc there’s a specific woman I have a crush on and she’s in a relationship but also speaks poorly about her bf… literally told me she settled with him because he’s safe. We aren’t even that close so idk why she disclosed that to me.. I fantasize about stealing her from him and making her happy but I doubt she feels the same towards me. It’s never going to happen anyway

No. 348027

Anyone have experience with feeling uncomfortable in feminist spaces, whether lib or rad, due to their attraction to women?

No. 351895

>be single
>try to date a woman
>rejected
>try to date a moid
>rejected

Only bis can know this fun. Just bumping to see how are nonnas doing?

No. 351945


No. 352052

File: 1696871581244.jpg (81.13 KB, 474x714, billie-jean.jpg)

>>351895
Reminiscing my teenage crush ("the one who got away") and developed a celeb crush on Billie Jean King. Now that I've finally admitted to myself that I'm probably bi I constantly daydream about having a gf but then do nothing about it and will probably be a virgin at 25 (turning next year). In other words, pretty pathetic I guess.

No. 352053

>>351895
Still single, still no idea how to meet women.

No. 352066

>>351895
Stop going for Chad/Stacy?

No. 352154

Fucking star wars flipped my hetero feelings back.

Does anyone experience something similar.

No. 352157


No. 352158

>>352154
No, I've never fucked a Star Wars.

No. 352160

my woeful story is I fell for a woman 15 years older than me and she was the first and only woman I ever fell in love with and it was soooooo much more amazing and passionate and intense than anything I've ever felt before but well things happened and she can't be part of my life anymore and now i think I will be alone forever because after meeting her, men don't interest me at all anymore, but she is still the only woman I've ever wanted. So like she turned me gay for her specifically and then left me without anything. I have to stop thinking of her but she lives in my subconscious and I can't kick her out, it's really bad. She hacked my brain and ruined me and now I sleep on the floor every night just because i'm depressed. life is cruel and inexplicable

No. 352166

>>352154
the original trilogy makes want to never touch a man again but hayden christensen was hot in the prequels and made me boy crazy for a bit as a teen… so i kinda get it

No. 352167

>>352166
I never liked him, he always seemed like he thought he was gods gift and I hate arrogant men

No. 352294

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>>347814
I've had similar fantasies to you but she doesn't shit talk her boyfriend. He's frustratingly nice. They will probably end up marrying each other and I will probably marry my boyfriend one day. I feel bad because I've told her if she stopped dating her boyfriend I would date her immediately but while she's never responded negatively I think she thinks it's a joke.

No. 352371

>>352166
I’m not being boy crazy over Hayden but something about frying my brain with star wars edits (especially Padme and Anakin) made my heart yearn for a hetero relationship after months of nonstop fantasising about being with a woman and asking her out ot treating her.
Yes i’m aware of how fucked up this sounds, I like messy fictional relationships but would never dream of being in one myself obviously.
I hope this makes sense.

I don’t mind honestly, it’s helping me get over something.

No. 353124

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hey nonnas, this is kind of a vent post about being bisexual, i identify w/ being bi but sometimes feel as if im not really bi myself.

ive never dated a girl and had very few girl crushes, ive always thought about dating one but i never can put myself to do it. im not sure why, i just get paranoid and upset. it makes me feel weird. i always end up falling back to men, which i feel as if i prefer regardless. sometimes i do just want to only have sex with men, but i cannot ignore the fact i think dating girls would be cool too.

however, when i tried dating apps, none of the women there interested me. a lot of them were kind of shallow, they kept hugboxxing me, kept saying "ur so pwetty uwu" it made me so annoyed. they never wanted to talk just normally, it was a back and forth of "ur so pwetty" and "noooo staaaahp ur pwetty". i got at least some mildly more interesting convos from men, but i figured its because dating apps in general fucking suck. im at college but barely talk to anyone and still talk to long time friends from highschool, so i dont often meet new people.

i just think in general, i cannot relate to women or find other women who match my interests, energy, whatever. men often times fit these boxes and thats probably because im just more aligned with masculine interests or have a more masculine energy. i know butches exist, but fuck i havent met any that arent my friends. its a god damn struggle. which is why i dont know if im really bi when i have a lot of conflicting feelings about the same sex.

what do i do?

No. 353319

>>353124
A lot of women, especially bisexuals who have formerly only dated moids, have the problem of not knowing how to take initiative. So they just try to send compliments to get your attention. Learn to lead the conversation yourself in the direction you want. This will usually make the other woman more comfortable to participate more. Also lose the nlog attitude. Women have different personalities and interests, of course some will have nothing in common with you, but some will also be more similar.

No. 354385

Sometimes I feel like I'm not really bisexual and I just have a weird fetish for women kek. I don't really know how to explain it but I feel like I'm attracted to other women in a moid-y way, maybe because of early unrestricted internet exposure fucking me up. Does anyone else feel this way or am I an insane freak?

No. 354395

>>354385
I think it's hard/impossible to really own your interest in women as long as it's hypothetical (you're not really dating them or trying to) and you're not involved in the culture (none of your friends are dating women, you never watch or read anything about lesbian relationships, you never go to girls' night at the gay bar or play soccer with the girls or do anything else with actual bisexuals and lesbians). it's just too easy to keep it from becoming real to you

No. 354450

As a fakeboi teen when I only dated girls I was always made into a pretend boyfriend but nobody ever actually liked me for me. It never worked out because eventually the other girl would want someone more masculine. I try to force myself straight nowadays but whenever I see a woman my type I'm reminded of how I'd drop everything if a woman actually loved me. To have a woman care about me seems impossible in general, as the only people that have cared have been men. Mommy issues to say the least. I'm genuinely heartbroken about the fact that I will never experience the love of a woman.

No. 355552

ever since i became attracted to a woman for the first time, I gained a whole new appreciation for my own body. There were so many things about my female body I used to be repulsed by, like I always thought having a vulva was sort of gross and I didn't like to think about it too hard, but now I love and appreciate that part of myself. I feel like I finally understand what self-love means.

No. 355574

>>354385
normally I wouldn't post in this thread but I saw this post while scrolling by and I feel the same way as you
I've been attracted to women sexually since puberty but I'm dubious of it since I got hooked on lesbian porn at that age. I still have attraction despite quitting a long time ago, but I often feel like it's some weird fluke or fetish that I memed myself into.
Something that makes it hard for me to discern is that I started dating a boy really young and we are still together into adulthood, so I have no experience with women or other men since I only have 1 romantic/sexual relationship ever. Idk if I would've dated a girl if he didn't exist.
I feel like a poser calling myself bisexual even though I'm honestly not very attracted to men besides my bf and have long been attracted to women, so I just don't really talk about it and simply say "oh I guess i experience same-sex attraction" if pressed. It's not really relevant to most people so I just go passing as 100% hetero since that's what my experiences consist of and I don't want to sound like a trender.

No. 355577

>>355574
No offence but I don’t really feel women like you are valid (that sounds meaner than intended lul sorry) but 90% of women I’ve met describe themselves as bi yet 90% of those same bi women I’ve met were women who only date men seriously and only feel romantically attracted to men, while occasionally getting horny lesbian urges and feeling the urge to have their pussy eaten by a hot girl. That’s 100% just conditioning from porn and not really being bi in a genuine way imo. Completely straight female pornstars can and do easily do a pussy licking scene with another attractive woman but that doesn’t mean theyre bi, it’s just coomer shit really. Likewise completely straight friends can make out at a party or whatever but that doesn’t really make them bi.

No. 355581

>>355577
DA at what point would you say it crosses over from straight horniness to bisexuality?

No. 355584

>>355577
NTA but while I agree a lot of straight girls make out with each other for attention and would never dare a woman… fantasizing about or actually getting eaten out by another woman is in no way a straight fantasy or act.

No. 355593

>>355577
no offense taken nona, I agree with you and that's why I don't call myself bi, I only wanted to reply to the other poster.
I think I do have a non-normative level of same-sex attraction compared to most people (I continue to have complex fantasies about women) but I think it's unconstructive to claim the label and distract from people who have actual active experiences. It doesn't matter on any practical level since I'm not looking for a date.

No. 355607

>>353124
If the idea of dating women makes you "feel weird and upset", why do you think it would be worth it? Why do you identify as bisexual if you've never dated a woman and don't plan on doing so because you can't connect with women, relate to them or "match their energy"? What do you think being bisexual is?

>what do i do?

Start identifying as straight and forget about dating women, you'll just end up complicating things for yourself and breaking the hearts of these women who think you're in it for real and not just as a tourist "seeing how it feels like" even when you admit to being prejudiced and grossed out at the thought of dating a woman.

Almost every time I see someone on this site say they're "bi" and then dropping shoeonhead tier bullshit takes I feel like it's the consequences of being chronically online and thinking that finding anime girls cute counts as being bisexual despite finding women in the flesh to be as unattractive as can be. Trying to date women with nerdy interests is a huge nuisance because of people like this muddying the waters, claiming the bisexual label but having so many restrictions and conditionals for their "same sex attraction" but almost zero standards for the opposite that it makes me wonder why they even bother. They're not fooling anyone.

No. 355611

kek I feel like I'm the opposite of the above posters, i.e. I have sexual attraction and fantasies towards men and women, but I feel weird about actually dating a man and wouldn't probably do it irl. I've ended up turning down all the men who've approached me and the thought of a male friend being attracted to me makes me feel uncomfortable, but I've gotten intense crushes on female friends before. Despite this, I thought of myself as straight for the longest time, but I was not romantically or sexually involved with anyone, so it was easy to ignore the actual reality of my sexuality and focus on a (male) celeb crush.

Though I'm also afraid of being seen as a trender so I'm not open about being bi. If someone asked, I'd tell the truth, but otherwise I don't bring up the topic at all.

No. 355620

>>355611
I'm exactly the same, I fantasize about 2D fictional guys but otherwise I don't like men, I've turned down every single one who asked me out (they weren't attractive though), and when I imagine myself with a guy it's only to humiliate him, like postponing dates, hiding the relationship from parents and friends, not complimenting him… whereas I long for a relationship with a woman. I'm definitely not a lesbian because of husbandos, but since I'm celibate there's no real point in calling myself anything lol.

No. 355705

>>355607
I wish it was possible to say stuff like this off anon (either irl or on social media) without being accused of being an evil gatekeeper. I'm usually bi4bi too if such a thing exists and don't want to waste my time on straight women

No. 355740

>>355577
I dare you go to the lesbian thread and say you are a lesbian who sometimes has urges to get eaten out by hot guys. (Not really we dont need more infight.) Imo bisexuality is just attraction to both sexes, or being able to have sex with both no matter if you choose to do it or not. Of course you dont have to go around telling everyone how bi you are if you are currently in a straight relationship. I usually only bring it up if Im interested in someone or if asked. Bisexuality is kinda only noticeable if you are single and trying to date both sexes or some polyfag. Else you will seem straight or lesbian to others.

No. 357550

shitty ventpost incoming. sorry. but i legit thought i was a lesbian from puberty onwards and the fact that it took me until fucking college to realize i was attracted to men too is fucking me up. 99% of the “bisexual discovery” stories i hear are the other way around, and i feel like a liar after being so vocal about lesbian activism (tumblr “activism” at least) throughout my teens. just getting that off my chest.

No. 357971

Alright bisexuals I need some advice.
I'm not bi but my brother's girlfriend is and is apparently "trying out being non-binary". Now not to armchair her and my brother's relationship, but this is definitely her acting out because her and my brother are a "boring straight" couple. Before she was with my brother, she apparently made being QuEeR her identity so now that she is in a straight relationship she wants to try and "look more gay" by going full retard and being non-binary.

The problem is my brother thinks she is being ridiculous but is too afraid to say anything to her (for fear of her flipping out on him, call him transphobic ect.) but how do you approach someone like this?

No. 358040

>>357971
I dont think there is much you can do. Telling her to stop is just going to make her sperg on transphobia. Maybe you could try to subtly talk about own experiences, if you ever felt different than other girls, but tell that you still identify as a woman.

No. 358068

>>357550
I feel like I’m only attracted to moids out of evolutionary programming tbh. Like I need a moid to build a house for me and hunt food for me because I know I’m too lazy to do it myself. But apart from that I hate everything about men tbh.

No. 358153

I wonder how common this is for other bisexuals. There are some men and women I find physically attractive, however my attraction to them lasts for a short while. I seem to be mostly attracted to personality and I can instantly think "I want to have sex with him/her so much" just from personality alone. It makes the person 1000% more attractive to me, while someone who's beautiful and has a shitty personality instantly turns ugly. However I wouldn't be attracted to someone with idk Proteus Syndrome, sorry kek. In fact, one of the people I was attracted to the longest was someone I didn't even know the sex of for a while. What is the biggest factor to who you're attracted to?

No. 358158

>>358153
I think for me I feel sexual attraction based on looks, but I need to also know about their personality to make me want to pursue them or start fantasizing about them. Just having a nice butt will make my brain go beep boop but I quickly get over it if I dont like the person.

No. 358164

>>357971
>how do you approach someone like this?
You don't unless you are truly close friends or family. If she's annoying, then he needs speak up about it. Being too scared to talk about something doesn't bode well for the relationship. Besides, men are accused of transphobia are usually seen as ignorant, innocent and redeemable vs. women accused of it are marked as TERFs.

No. 358300

File: 1699761047885.jpeg (41.53 KB, 400x446, 9F434C67-2DB4-4A5D-82A8-48D664…)

I’ve only ever fallen in love with one woman even though I was almost 30, and it was love at first sight. She was 500% more beautiful than anyone else on earth to me and I loved her so much. I don’t want to get onto the details, but I found out she wasn’t who I thought she was and was abusing another woman I didn’t even know about. My heart is still so broken, I don’t even have words for my grief.
The worst part is, the emotional highs I felt with her were higher than any I’ve ever had in my life, and I can’t forget how happy I was. I keep wishing it was all a bad dream but it’s not. I even keep dreaming about her all the time when I’m trying to forget her, and the dreams are like before when everything was so euphoric and perfect.

The common advice is to move on, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel this way about a woman again. And I can’t go back to men again either, what I felt with her was so amazing that men will never compare, they might as well not even exist.

How do you get over someone when moving on to someone new isn’t an option?

i’d put this in the vent thread but I was once yelled at there for posting about ‘lesbian shit’ outside of /g/ and I don’t have the emotional strength for that /ot/ insanity right now

No. 358395

>>358300
Sorry to hear you went trough that. Only time will heal. Dont try to date someone else to make it better. Focus on hobbies, friendships, art, whatever you find meaningful.

No. 358723

I have never been in a relationship with a woman (I only had flings) and lately I've been craving it so bad. I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere though and barely have friends. help.

No. 359629

File: 1700311661084.png (252.43 KB, 500x500, 01739139e549f690a7de9f9813ac68…)

Is finding flings on apps like Tinder possible? Apparently, it doesn't work too well for gay moids, but one of my female friends found her (now ex-)girlfriend on there, so I have some hope. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship because I don't enjoy talking or entertaining ideas like dates and whatnot. I'm in a relatively big city, so there are enough women around, for sure, I've just never been in the dating scene (for either sex, to be clear), so I don't know how "acceptable" it is to state that I'm looking for fwb/short-term stuff. I just want to eat pussy like my life depends on it with no strings attached.

No. 359640

>>358068
kek nonna i’m exactly the same as you

No. 359641

idk what to call myself

i’m married to a guy but he was my first ever boyfriend and this is my first ever relationship (voluntarily celibate until i started dating him when i was 19)

i found out i’m able to develop romantic feelings and physical attraction to women, and honest to god if this relationship ever ends i’d never date a moid ever again

but here’s the thing: i cannot, at all, imagine myself having sex with a woman. it’s a mix of cluelessness from lack of experience/exposure of it, as well as just simply not feeling horny at all, even downright repulsed. but god i could imagine cuddling with them, kissing them, just being romantic and all that but the thought of sex is just a no no

then again my libido is really damn low, and the only thing that could get me going is fictional men. i think i could literally live the rest of my life without having sex ever

so idk what to even call myself. am i bi if i don’t feel any desire to have sex with women, instead i want to just be romantic with them?

pls do help me nonnas lmao i’m literally losing my mind over this

No. 359646

>>359641
You're straight and men are shit.

No. 359647

>>359641
>(voluntarily celibate until i started dating him when i was 19)
kek

No. 359648

>>359641
forget your sexuality you need a divorce

No. 359656

>>359641
Straight, you literally just said you think having sex with a woman would be gross and doesn’t make you horny.

No. 359662

>>359641
>losing your mind over being obviously straight and also married so it doesn't matter anyway

No. 359678

>>359629
At least when I was on tinder I saw many women stating they only wanted one night things/fwbs. Many of them were in open relationships though so might have to deal with a scrote trying to join.

>>359641
Sounds straight, maybe you just need closer female friendships?

No. 359679

>>359678
>open relationships
>scrotes
I momentarily forgot that women willingly pair up with scrotes AND try to make the rest of us suffer along with them. I will tread carefully, thank you, nona.

No. 359696

>>359641
Wtf did your moid do? I have similar feelings and it's because he coerced me into sex. Obviously he did something and you're just traumatized from it. I'm guessing it was sexual? Since you want a relationship with someone you would never have sex with.

No. 359700

Can you be a straight/bi woman who doesn't like dick? I like the fit male physique, I like looking at pretty men and their voices but I can't imagine myself having sex with one. Firstly, the idea of sex just grosses me out completely. Watching any type of porn makes me wanna gag. Even then, I'm not opposed to some touching foreplay with men and even let them eat me out with a dental dam but no dick evolment. I dont mind pussy though, but I would also only touch it with a glove and eat her a dam. You just dont know what type of nasties people are involved in.

No. 359704

Deep down I want to date, but I’m too scared. Im afraid I’ll never do it just because im too terrified. Im 25 and a kissless virgin. I just can’t shake the feeling that there’s no one who could understand me and that I’d embarrass myself. It doesn’t help that dating options (women that is, I don’t want to date a scrote) are almost all gender havers if they’re gnc at all (I like gnc women). It just feels hopeless and I have no confidence in my ability to have a relationship since I can’t even imagine how to act. I think I waited too long and it’s too late, I didn’t develop this side of myself naturally when I was young and now I’ll always be stunted and incapable.

No. 359720

>>359700
Wrong thread

No. 359748

Does anyone else have a hard time grasping the fact they're bisexual? I'll think something about a man is sexy after spending a lot of time thinking about women or vice versa, and I'll be like "wtf? but I'm into women". It's like my gut can't accept that it's possible to like both. My brain is always like
>"but you like X male trait, so then how are you into women?" or
>"But you like X female trait, so then how are you into men?"

No. 359831

>>359704
I could've written this post, except that I'm 24. Everybody else simply gets in a relationship somehow, while I can't even tell whether someone is flirting with me and I have no idea how to initiate. Shit just sucks.

No. 359836

>>359748
you are just like me nona. when I'm attracted to a woman I think 'this is it, I must only be into women' and then I'll find myself attracted to a man and think 'how is this possible? maybe I am straight'. I forget I don't have to pick a side. I wish it were that easy

No. 360162

File: 1700506743776.jpg (180.18 KB, 640x752, world.jpg)

>>333869
Are you comfortable sharing the name of your country? I wish you good luck.

No. 360808

I always feel gross about having bisexual sexual fantasies because they involve threesomes which makes me feel like a coomer. I mainly like to imagine the women I like having sex with men, and then I insert myself into the scenario to hold her and pet her and provide additional pleasure for her until she's a total mess. I am ashamed though because I know most people both straight and lesbian would think that's a super degenerate fantasy. I'd obviously never do it irl though, because irl I'd never trust a man to handle a woman I care about, in my fantasies he's just a prop. Does anyone else get hot imagining a homosexual crush of yours having straight sex? Clearly this is brain worms of some sort and I know I should be ashamed, but i wonder if i'm the only one with this problem. And do you think I should try not to fantasize about it anymore?

No. 360849

>>360808
Yeah, but in my fantasy I'm the man. So it could be worse, nona.

No. 361032

>>360162
Source on this art pls?

No. 361142

>>360849
Ayrt, I also do that though lol. Lately it’s the main way I fantasize. I’d never troon out because it would never make me a real man and I actually like being a woman for all other things in life, but I can’t help but really, really want to have sex with a woman as a man. Lately I’ve even thought it was hot to imagine her giving me a bj although tbh I don’t picture a real dick, just the shape. It’s really just for the visual of her, tbh. I’ve heard anons call that sort of fantasy pornsick, but I don’t watch porn, so i don’t know where it comes from.

No. 361208

File: 1700977074672.mp4 (5.56 MB, 576x1024, cf9b8075b53ed6644d229811129769…)

Men getting feminized. Men with beautiful faces and manly bodies getting dolled up with makeup and even onlyfans tier aliexpress slut costumes. I'm not into trannies at all, and I'd be scared to indulge in this irl bc the risk of the moid trooning out, but oh how I love the juxtaposition.

No. 361209

>>361208
This was kind of hot to me until he put the wig on

No. 361346

>>361208
Wait shes beautiful

No. 361787

File: 1701274689434.jpeg (620.79 KB, 1869x2190, AA641DF6-5F79-4A89-B2E3-B32458…)

My bi “cycles” last a really really long time, and when they finally switch it’s so upsetting to me. It finally happened again after over a year of cycling hard, 100%, to one side, and just as I was getting used to that, the rug gets pulled out from under me again. I hate this so much, it makes me insanely depressed. Because when I switch, I tend to lose attraction to the crushes I had up until that point and I start from square one on the opposite side again. I am never going to date because of this, and I feel so lonely at that prospect that I can hardly get out of bed. I wish there was a cure for this. I wouldn’t care which side I ended up on if I could make it stop. I just want off this terrible ride. I really can’t express how life-destroying it is for me. It trashes my mental stability and stomps on my hope for a future where I can love someone. I’m so jealous of normal people I could cry.

No. 361821

Nothing hurts more than that one straight woman who could never and will never love you back.
Men are fun. Men are easy.

But none of them are her.

No. 361890

>>361787
samefag, because I’m still thinking about this… it really makes me feel like a shallow, terrible person. Even though I know I don’t have any control over it. And every time I enter another cycle I think, naively,
>maybe this is really it!
>maybe this is the real me and I’ll stay like this forever!
And because the cycles last for so long, I always really start to believe it as the months (or sometimes years) go by. I’ll let myself be convinced. Which just makes the eventual let down hurt more.
I’ve started to get really bitter about hearing about other people’s dating and married lives. I wish I could just be happy for other people or even just neutral but instead I am filled with burning jealously. It’s actually keeping me from making and keeping friends. Because when they bring their partners around and be loving with each other I just can’t keep it together inside. I just start thinking about how much I want to die and I mentally zone out through the rest of the time and can’t enjoy myself. Which I know makes me kind of selfish.
Shallow and selfish.

No. 361956

>>361955
nta but how?

No. 362322

I don’t really understand the idea that a bisexual woman could never date a lesbian that a lot of people like to say. I am a Newfag on lolcow, but an oldfag in LGBT spaces. Without revealing my exact age, I was old enough to participate in stonewall if I lived in that area at the time. In my years staying in older pride spaces, lesbians and bi women have always gotten along pretty well. I think it’s all the fake bisexuals that are tainting us and giving us a bad reputation. I’m not talking about bisexuals who date men and women but ended up with a man, because if you are genuinely attracted to both, you’re bi even if you end up with a man. But a lot of youngsters are just saying they’re bisexual to not sound boring and straight, then they give lesbians a bad impression when their disgust for women in sex comes out. I hate to grandma post but things were so much easier before

No. 362326

>>361821
I feel this so much nonna, going through this right now. So many smiles and glances that I know I'm reading too much into. So much time staring at my phone trying to think of the perfect witty cute thing to text her. Worrying that she'll think I'm a creep and not want to be friends with me anymore if she learns how much I long for her. So much time spent consoling her about her relationship drama with her Nigel, wishing I could tell her that I would treat her like a queen.

No. 363340

>>362322
fake bisexual women with preference for men are very loud when it comes to talking about how gross hooking up with women is. when people call them out for it they get called biphobic.
I get that we stay bisexual regardless of who we date, but it is so insufferable seeing women who date men exclusively whining about how mean everyone is to them. like they are not people still getting disowned or attacked because they were caught with another woman.

No. 363341

>>357971
she is not going to do anything other than getting she/they pronouns, she will still seeth about your brother and her getting read as straight

No. 363361

>>362322
I feel like this is mostly very online people. Or maybe young women that still have that "our group vs their group" thinking going on in general. I have met like one lesbian who disliked bisexuals in real life. But of course everyone has rights to their dating preferences, whatever they are.

No. 363387

>346733
I'm at a very leftist arts college and I feel that. Literally every girl who doesn't like horses and god atp is a they/them. what's worse is that they get militant even with the she/they because they want you to use them interchangably.

It's funny because my lesbian friends tell me to date women instead as if anyone I'd be potentially interested in identifies as a woman anymore. Once I hear "i just feel like a person" i'm immediately just turned off. as a gen zer I think i'd genuinely find androgyny more attractive if it weren't almost completely synonymous with the gendie woo woo.

No. 363408

>>363387
>as if anyone I'd be potentially interested in identifies as a woman anymore.
This, this right here is the damn problem.
>every girl that doesn’t like horses and God is a they/them
Kekkkkkk god I wish it wasn’t true. I feel like it’s quite possible I’ll never get to date a woman in my lifetime because all the women who are my type identify as non-women, and I CANNOT play that game with someone I’m dating. I’m not 2 faced enough.

No. 363409

>>363340
It pisses me off because I got bullied by other girls for this shit and now they’re the ones acting gay for cred and attention.

No. 363446

>>363340
This is why I just don’t even mention being bisexual to people anymore. Especially when I’m dating a guy, it’s just not something everyone needs to know. It’s not relevant.

No. 363472

>>363408

its incredibly ironic because in the beginning of this ‘qweer’ theory era I noticed it was just fat white women with snakebites and purple pompadours (to preface nothing wrong with that-just not really my type) so even though I internally thought it was stupid as hell figured it wouldn’t really affect me anyhow-funny joke. now my lesbian friends literally think im basically straight for not showing any interest in the unwomen around me and i really dont care.

No. 363631

File: 1702063082441.png (944.51 KB, 1200x675, 1 YPrKCiAzoD_V-5cOlcMq0Q-37249…)

I remember there being a discussion in the butch thread on whether OSA women can use the butch label, with some anons saying that it's so ingrained in lesbian culture that even bi women shouldn't be using it. Which in itself is fine, but I just wish there was a way to quickly say I'm a masculine bi woman into masculine or androgynous women, basically butch4butch except I'm not lesbian.
>>363387
>>363408
>>363472
ikr, the pain is real

No. 363633

>>361208
Why did he wear this ugly wig, he was fine without it

No. 363636

>>361821
It's so clear she's straight, she has new crushes on guys everyday. I'm going to get over her because I've had unreturned crushes before, but it still hurts. She once told me how I'd be totally her type of I was a man.

No. 363674

>>363631
masc febfem? it sounds like just buzzwords tho
maybe gnc4gnc or something

No. 365027

>be me
>prefer women since forever
>keep falling in love with them, heart-rending crushes
>constant lesbian daydreaming
>ugly
>autistic
>get roped in relations with men
>it's underwhelming
>shallow sexual curiosity fades fast
>get a nice nigel but i feel like a liar
>longing is getting unbearable

i feel like i'm rotting. I used to feel sorry for myself, now i wonder if i don't value lesbian relations enough to push past the clumsiness/baggage to try and get a gf. i thought i'd find solace with febfems but many of them have a polilez-tier obsession with men. i'm irritated at myself but i needed to get it out

No. 365568


No. 365569

>>365027
How can you accuse other women of being obsessed with men when you have a literal boyfriend?

No. 365571

>>365027
Anons dont do this. I dont mean just bisexuals but in general dont date someone you are not that attracted to because they are nice. It only gets frustrating.

No. 365607

File: 1702657923411.jpeg (32.76 KB, 894x478, 63A6AFEF-4CFE-4DFA-B62C-294DB7…)

At least like once a every few days I’ll have a
>WHAT is WRONG with me????? Why am I so fucked in the head?
crisis moment about my sexuality after I find a man and a woman hot in the same day. What could the explanation be??? Clearly I am simply Insane. Throw away the key.

Idk why I can’t seem to accept/remember/believe that I am bisexual. I am truly retarded.

No. 365624

>>365607
I feel you nona brains are weird

No. 365645

You know those bi girls who say they think women are sexy but it’s a weird fetishy type of thing where they only like women as a kinky, shameful thing that they’d never actually get serious and start a life with bc they think it’s dirty? I feel like I’m like that but with men instead. I’m like them, but I feel gross and shameful when I do, they’re like a weird fetish that are good in fantasy but I’d never want to be with one irl. I’d bring a girl home, I’d marry a girl, I’d start a family with a girl, but never with a man. Am I weird for this?

No. 365650

>>365645
Nah, it sounds like you’re just closer to the homosexual end of the Kinsey scale. Nothing wrong with that.

No. 365666

>>365568
seems like a faker, like most "bi" celebs
>>>/ot/1798424

No. 366116

I’m seriously so depressed about gender bullshit. It’s already hard enough to find a gf, especially a GNC one, but now they are literally 99% trans or nonbinary identified. It’s so horrible that after so much progress in society, this is where we ended up. It really makes me sick to my stomach. Masc women do not exist anymore as women. That’s where we are.

My only sliver of hope is that maybe if we’re lucky, in 20 or 30 years this will have stopped and I can finally find a woman to date. But even that’s not a guarantee, it could just keep getting worse as it already has. I feel so lonely and alienated. I wish I could date but it’s just too hard in this climate.

No. 366121

>>366116
it sucks right? literally every woman I find attractive is an FTM or NB.

No. 366180

File: 1702857444703.png (184.05 KB, 424x357, Illustration.png)

>>366121
Seriously. Every. Fucking. One. My first crush on a female was a TIF in my first year of high school, i looked her up today out of morbid curiosity and she has her top surgery scheduled in one month. It made me really sad. I was somehow stupidly hoping that she would have grown out of it, but who was I kidding. Her sister also trooned. They had a bad home life. Another high school friend of mine trooned and then committed suicide in college. It's all so grim, it makes me wanna die.

I'm very angry that society is pushing vulnerable young women to do this to themselves instead of embracing being a masculine woman or resolving their trauma. And on a more selfish note, I have just accepted that I probably will never be able to have a girlfriend. It hurts.

No. 366194

>>366116
>>366121
>>366180
have you tried looking in terfy lesbian spaces? I assume there would be gnc lesbians there, but I have no idea.

No. 366332

>>365569
samefag, i'm talking about bad cases here. having a boyfriend =/= obsessed with men, my straight friends don't bring up their bfs or exes that often

>>365571
yes. i kept trying to rationalize it ('this is what adult, banal relationships look like') but it just felt like i was being cruel to him

No. 366796

Has anyone else felt apprehensive to date another woman after experiencing disaster after disaster, but you don't feel like you can say this because people will jump down your throat about men not being any better? I have an ex girlfriend that played mind games with me and I feel like she took advantage of me coming from a sheltered, broken home. Its taken me a long time to come to terms with this, but I feel like I'm able to actually talk about it now that I've been in therapy and ran the situation by friends who have more experience than I do. There's so much to talk about and its difficult for me to find a place to start.

Have you ever had someone in your life who seemed like they had a curated personality? A part of me has wondered how she got by prior to us meeting, but she told me that she got bullied out of high school and had to go to a special school to finish and never elaborated beyond that besides that the girls who allegedly bullied her were pissed to see her attending the same college a short time later. She told me it was for liking the same things they liked, but after she began to mimic me I started to question the validity and I did feel horrible for that. But, she changed her major to mine, her diet, started wearing makeup, etc. She told me I inspire her and I ended up feeling really bad about getting bothered by it, but it did scare me. I got into a relationship with her when she told me she had feelings for me even though I never had an inkling she cared about me that way when I was dating someone else. Our relationship was underwhelming to say the least. We never did anything intimate because, again, she didn't even seem like she wanted to hold my hand or kiss me and the one time we did kiss it felt like she hated it. These days she claims to be a lesbian, but I was the only woman she ever dated and she's almost exclusively showed interest in men right down to body preferences. I feel like she's just claiming to be one for points and to be a part of something bigger, especially because we're in a time where it feels like you can't even call someone out for faking it. Meanwhile, she was the first girlfriend I'd had and that experience along with the one who trooned out have both fucked with my head so badly that I'm honestly terrified to trust women in a romantic sense. It hurts knowing that there is a version of me out there that she tells people about who is painted as some kind of villain because I couldn't handle her codependency, her weird behavior, etc. I mean, she told me that her parents once forced her onto a weird diet in her 20s and I know they had control over her finances, she had several car accidents she was at fault for, and it seemed like whatever awful things they did to her were pardoned and forgiven but the moment I stepped out of line she started larping as a Victorian madame or something. Even her opinions on hobbies seem carefully selected and curated. It feels like she has a shallow interest in things and does it to seem cultured or eclectic. It feels like her opinions aren't her own and I don't know if this is going to make sense, but its like she tries to have the most "male" stance on certain topics so that it makes her seem.. I don't know, desirable to men? And, then its like she does it on purpose to attract them, but she screams all the time about how she hates men. It feels like some weird control-power complex thing. I feel bad saying this, but I legitimately don't think she's capable of introspection or feeling romantic feelings towards another person. Sorry for the rambling. There's a lot I left out and lately I've been processing painful things from the past. My life is a lot better these days and I'm in a relationship with a man where I actually feel safe and cared about. We're both pretty anxious people who agreed to take things slow, but its been a while since then and he's let it slip that he'd like things between us to last.. well.. forever.

No. 367180

>>365645
this is called being based

No. 372274

File: 1704811056101.gif (733.02 KB, 165x115, 1695700499566.gif)

God I hate the word queer, everything is queer this queer that, every other performative retard has got to be queer, all well-known bi women in my country now identify as QUEER (many of them are dating women so they're actually at least bi, some may be lesbian as well but for some reason lesbians still often call themselves lesbian over here while bi as a word might as well have vanished from our vocabulary), they go on about erasure while being such huge cowards they won't even call themselves bi but use the word queer which means nothing. I hate it here.

No. 372275

>>372274
Samefag, queer as a word also looks and sounds UGLY AS FUCK and doesn't even fit our language while bi sounds cool and has a fun nickname ("bisse" which is also slang for beer)

No. 372375

>>372274
The word queer doesn't offend me (more like I think it's cringe) but it's so frustratingly vague that at this point it feels like a lot of women use it as a way of saying they're alternative/poly/kinky and you can never tell who's actually same sex attracted

No. 372488

>>372274
>>372375
I thought queer was fine for example for someone who is not sure yet if she is bisexual or lesbian. But now it is used for anything and by the most annoying people.

No. 374570

What the fuck could possibly explain the extreme bi cycling that some bisexuals go through? For me it can last years and it's always an extreme 100% swing to one side or the other. When you consider that most people believe sexuality is something you're born with, then how can some people, for all intents and purposes, switch sexualities at different periods of their lives?

No. 374702

How do I make myself more attractive to women? Men find me plenty attractive but women who are either lesbian or bi don’t seem to find me interesting at all. I’ve never had a woman like me first on a dating app but I get loads and loads of male matches.

No. 374709

>>374702
How are you gonna ask this without even describing what you’re doing currently?

No. 374712

>>374709
yeah, she gave us no info on her appearance

No. 374801

File: 1705827444076.jpeg (1.35 MB, 2560x3401, IMG_5390.jpeg)

>>374709
28 years old, look slightly younger than I am but not much. I’m average looking mostly but I’m considered quite pretty. I’ve been told I look like daisy Edgar jones. I have long brown hair, bangs, pretty good skin but I do get some acne occasionally, I wear minimal makeup, I’m slightly alt but not really, about 5’6, slim, reasonably athletic but certainly not a gym addict. Fit but enjoys cake and cheese so plump in the right places. Quite a big nose but straight and not massive. Teeth are good. Slightly crooked and yellow so not perfect but certainly not meth tier. As I said I’m mildly alt. Kind of post punk mixed with indie style. I like dresses with boots or converse, tartan, jeans with flannel shirts.

My personality: I’m fairly indoorsy most of the time but I do love to hike and get in nature. I love books and movies. I have an eclectic taste in music. Animal lover. I like to smoke weed. I have a pretty dry and dark sense of humour but not in the sense that I laugh at mean spirited racism or dead baby jokes, I just have a bit of a cynical sense of humour. I am not very career driven but I’m always employed and I have savings, I am still learning to drive at late 20s. I have a cat. Idk what more do you people want???

No. 374809

>>374801
Tbh idk what the issue is, you sound really cute and up my alley personally. I’d swipe right on an app or whatever. Perhaps your profile just isn’t giving ~the vibe~ kek. Sometimes when I used to be on apps the girls who matched w me would seem like they were just looking to experiment for the first time or that they had a boyfriend hiding in the wings just on vibe as retarded as that sounds. Don’t lose hope, nonna. There’s someone equally cute out there for you ♥

No. 374811

>>374809
You’re right. I think I may be giving the vibe…I’ve had pretty much 0 sexual experience with women and that probably shows.

No. 374812

>>333126
You have crooked yellow teeth and no ambition, to me the lack of ambition is the most unattractive.

No. 374814

>>374809
NTA, do women who have no experience with either sex have a different ~vibe~ from those who only have experience with men?

No. 374821

>>374814
100% yes. Women who have only had experiences with men tend to wait for me to make the first move. Like it’s very predictable, they want someone with experience to kind of show them the ropes and also maybe are used to being pursued in a way that in my experience women don’t do (aka over the top doing too much aggro with no finesse kek). It’s a confidence thing, tbh. My ex who I met on Her long ago was a woman-virgin til she met me but her vibes and confidence totally had me fooled for example, I would never have guessed I was her first female kiss after our first date. She told me that like months later kek. Imo the most important thing is to have succinct but sassy bio blurbs, like put as much of your personality in as few words as possible, have maybe three or four good pics of yourself in different settings, and honestly if you figure out some good genuine convo openers based on the girl you’re messaging’s profile specifically, you’ll be just fine. Clever or funny emoji use always gets me too.

No. 374834

>they/them girl I volunteered with a couple years ago gushing about being queer an loving to see queer people win
>share I am also bisexual in an attempt to bond
>"oh" she says as if to say "That's it?"
>see her social media this year
>she's dating some guy with a beard
>I'm dating a woman who I intend to marry
I want to be kind and get along with people. But if you are also just a bisexual woman why the fuck are you treating me as Less Cool for being the same?
Nonas are right sometimes.
I'm also more gnc but that's a given

No. 374842

>>374834
She’s a gendie so it’s probably because you said bi instead of pan kek

No. 374853

>>374812
You don’t seem like someone I’d be attracted to anyway, no offence.

No. 375060

File: 1705925136167.jpg (123.21 KB, 800x965, 36d16b993c47c4aef66101a6f293dd…)

How do you deal with fantasies of one sex when you're with the other?
Should I feel guilt for still having them? It seems this happens no matter which I date, but I do have a preference and so date my preference.
I can't imagine ever cheating and I'm in love with my girlfriend, but I still have certain sexual interests in men and sometimes get off to fictional ones. She knows I'm bisexual and accepts me but obviously I don't detail these thoughts to her at all.
Is this something I shouldn't do? If not, has anyone been able to control it? I feel like a criminal.

>inb4 you're going to leave her for a man

Impossible for many reasons, not the issue at hand.

No. 375063

>>375060
I'm not bi so I'm sorry if me commenting here is out of line, but I have a bf and I still fantasize about other guys from time to time that are different from him. It's not completely the same thing because I'm attracted to one gender and my bf is that gender, but in general I think it's rare for someone to tick every single one of your boxes, and sometimes you like both apples and oranges and your bf is an apple. As long as you feel reasonably sexually fulfilled in your current relationship, I don't think it’s a big deal. I think sexual fantasies are just part of the human condition, they are inside your head and can't hurt anyone. If you have a loving, nurturing relationship with sexual intimacy and positive reinforcement, but entertain some spicy what if scenarios in your head once in a blue moon it's not a big deal, probably a sign of a healthy sex drive if anything. On the other hand if you feel like you're really missing out and crave a dick on a regular basis then it might pose more of a problem. Using porn such as in the case of getting off to fictional men can also affect you negatively in some cases because of the addictive properties of porn/erotica.

No. 375064

>>372274
I hate the word queer too. I wish it was used as an insult still

No. 375080

>>375060
Im lesbian abd I would kms if my gf was thinking about fucking dudes

No. 375085

>>375080
Kek same and I’m bi. The other anon who replied was right that it’s normal to have fantasies while in a relationship regardless of gender. In this case though I’d just feel inadequate, especially since it seems like most bi women prefer men, I don’t think I’d be able to get over that.

No. 375091

>>375085
also bi, and for me it would depend on how frequent the male fantasies were and how much they talk about them. there's a certain type of bisexual woman who always has to play up her ssa/osa to her partner. like talking about how sexy women are to her bf, and talking in detail about how hot she finds certain men to her gf. when she's in a f/f relationship, this type will try to make her gf act like the "man," expecting her to take all the initiative in the relationship, plan the dates, have an over-the-top fixation on using strap ons (always receiving, never giving).
this kind of bisexual woman who makes it a mission to shove her osa in your for some reason would really irk me because you're always going to feel inadequate and worry she'll leave for a man.
but if you're not one of these ones that just has to drone on about wanting to be dicked down and ogling guys, then it's not something to worry. a bisexual thinking of dick once in a while is normal and doesn't mean she doesn't want you. it's no different than a bisexual woman in a straight relationship thinking of women every once in a while when masturbating

No. 375102

>>375080
I think what lesbians don’t understand about bi women is that we are not fantasizing about men because you are “not good enough”, but because it’s literally a part of our sexuality that we can’t change and does not ever go away. You can’t love a woman out of being bisexual, and I’m sure you understand that if you think about it. Not to be retarded but its like
>favorite flavors of ice cream are chocolate and strawberry
>sometimes only have strawberry in the fridge and crave a little chocolate
>it’s not because you don’t like strawberry or the strawberry isn’t good enough
>you just like chocolate too
>there is no strawberry ice cream that will make you not like chocolate ice cream or vice versa, that’s just not how it works
So, what I would say to this anon is
>>375060
Having a quiet internal fantasy every now and then is really the only way to deal with that as far as I can see. Having those fantasies aren’t a reflection about how much you like your current partner and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It can be frustrating though but that’s just the bisexual cross to bear.

No. 375105

>>375091
> have an over-the-top fixation on using strap ons
Uh oh that’s me
> (always receiving, never giving)
But not this. I’d say my fantasies about this are split 50/50 giving and receiving. Idk how you could just pick one. Anyone else like this?

No. 375123

>>375102
No, even if we were good enough it is still absolutely revolting to know that your gf is fantasizing about fucking men. Lesbians usually intuitively think this, we can't control our feelings over this either.

No. 375131

>>375123
I mean, just don't date bisexuals then? We can't help our innate attraction to men. If OSA repulses you then a relationship with bisexuals isn't for you, and that's okay. Both being SSA doesn't mean you have to force yourself into relationships with people of a sexuality which inherently makes you insecure. It's unreasonable to expect our OSA instincts to never kick in occasionally and internal masturbation fantasies sometimes of some faceless man really mean nothing

No. 375132

>>375060
You're basically asking if it's okay to commit the thoughtcrime of being your sexuality. You aren't flaunting it to your girlfriend or telling her about it. What's the harm? The same way you can't help your sexuality, she likely won't be able to help being somewhat hurt/feeling some type of way over the idea.

No. 375133

>>375131
I hope your gf is bi too

No. 375134

>>375133
Don't worry, I only date other bi women (and bi men). Lesbians and bisexual women are often incompatible because lesbians get squicked by OSA and bisexuals can't turn our OSA off. Neither of those things are wrong, but they don't bode well for a relationship. And I can just relate more to women who share my sexuality.

No. 375136

>>375134
Yeah true, no hate to you.

No. 375137

>>375136
And to you, I don't have an issue with lesbians who are L4L. It just works out better most of the time than les/bi relationships

No. 375139

>>375134
I mean I was one of the two bi women saying I’d hate it too, it’s not just a lesbian thing. I prefer dating lesbians too though. Plus I can be attracted to men but I don’t feel the need to have fantasies about them.

No. 375149

>>375123
Then why are you barging into our thread pointing at us just to say “ew!” and shit on our natural orientation? Lesbians rightfully complain when unwelcome bi women do that in your thread, so follow your own advice.

No. 375150

>>375149
Ntayrt but there were bi women agreeing, she just said she’d feel upset not that you’re gross so I don’t know where you got that from. Really weird to jump the gun about that.

No. 375153

>>375133
>even having internal fantasies about men you tell no one about taints you, ew, I hope your gf isn’t an innocent lesbian
Most well adjusted individual. Neurosis. Lesbians just can’t be normal about bi women and will say offensive shit like this to our faces and yet when we get fed up we’re the evil bad guys. If you are so disgusted by bisexuals then you don’t have to date one, but telling a random bi woman you hope she isn’t with a lesbian because just her natural orientation means she will hurt her gf (your projection) is just mean and uncalled for.

No. 375155

>>375150
>she just said she’d feel upset not that you’re gross
Anon, not even trying to infight, but her exact words that I replied to were >>375123
>absolutely revolting
and me summarizing that comment as her saying “gross” is me “jumping the gun” or making things up? If anything I made it milder than what she really said.

No. 375158

>>375153
>>375155
This is so overdramatic. I’m bi too, so what? Why do you think this is something to get offended over? Genuinely.

No. 375159

>>375153
No one is saying you are evil and tainted, calm down.

No. 375170

>>375158
An outsider who is not bisexual coming into thread for bisexuals and calling normal bisexual things “absolutely revolting” does feel offensive and uncalled for in my opinion, yeah.
I understand that many bisexual women have adapted to being a punching bag since standing up for yourself gets you stomped on by straight and gay people alike, but personally I’m over it.

No. 375176

I think anons should just ignore lesbians who come to this thread. There's no use in arguing and 9/10 if a lesbian anon is posting here its likely in bad faith.

No. 375179

>>375170
Punching bag kek. No I’m just not an uwu bi women are so oppressed by lesbians kind of bihet, sorry. And I relate to what the lesbian was saying anyway, I’d feel the same way in a relationship whether I want to or not, it’s just my emotional reaction to it. Just like how OSA thoughts can’t be controlled, you also can’t do anything about not liking the idea of your partner “craving” dick. Obviously you can’t police thoughts, it’s just an understandable thought pattern to me and not something that makes me go “stop making me feel gross for being a poor bi women!” kek like why would I even make it about myself. Sorry, not trying to start and argument but I just don’t get it.

No. 375181

>>375179
She thinks she's oppressed for someone being grossed out by her having sexual thoughts towards the opposite sex lmao(infighting)

No. 375183

>>375179
You truly are Not Like The Other Bisexuals! Unlike them, you understand that your sexuality is “absolutely revolting” and won’t kick up a fuss about being called that. It’s the truth, right? Your medal is in the mail and should get to you by Thursday.(infighting)

No. 375184

>>375179
Bisexuals aren’t punching bags lol you’re not oppressed. Anyway 9/10 bi women are in relationship with men so we know you’re about that dick sis.(infighting)

No. 375185

>>375183
What are you even trying to say? I don’t think my sexuality is revolting, are you trying to say the lesbian was being “biphobic” or whatever? Are you seriously trying to act like you’re being shamed for being attracted to men like 90% of other women? That is so fucking funny. God imagine what the heterosexual women have to go through, those nasty lesbians.

No. 375186

>>375181
No, it’s more along the lines of “you’re allowed to feel that way, but is it entirely necessary to come in to the bisexual thread to announce it?” Apparently the answer is yes, it is. It’s so necessary. And if you don’t like it, you’re a goofy bihet who thinks she’s being systematically oppressed (strawman).

I guess I’m done since there isn’t a single brain cell hanging out in this thread. Personally, this just solidifies for me the reasons bisexual women will never have a community of their own. Most are so self-hating that they either “take it quietly” or even agree with the insults thrown at us while tossing their fellow bisexuals under the bus for saying “hey, not cool”. You can’t make a community out of people like that.

No. 375188

>>375186
You didn't just not like it, you started throwing a tantrum and accusing lesbians of calling you evil and punching down at you.

No. 375190

>>375080
Don’t you have like 5 containment threads

No. 375192

>>375188
Kek okay, spin it however you want. I just hope you find some self-love and a backbone some day.
>>375190
It’s not enough anon. She has to come stir shit here too. And anons say it’s her right to misuse threads, so you better be quiet about it.

No. 375197

>go to lesbian places
>every lesbian I meet can't stop seething about bisluts, how theyre always leaving and cheating on their gfs with men, spreading STDs to the lesbian community, invading lesbian spaces and talking about men in such places, how they're disgusting whores that should be avoided at all cost, etc etc etc
>meet other bisexual women
>they're either the type that's in a bihet relationship and looking for a unicorn with their bfs or the febfem kind that only avoids men because of sexual trauma but still fantasize about yaois and fictional/celebrity men
Guess I'll just be alone then.

No. 375198

>>375197
Do you touch grass? Not bait, but this is very easily solved by just meeting women in real life. People you meet face to face aren't bitter the way hyperonline nonas are.

>>375176
Agreed. No point worrying about them. If they're bored enough to breach their own containment thread and enter somewhere where they might get mad, they're not worth acknowledging.

No. 375201

Damn, sorry I caused infighting I just kind of wanted to vent and seek help for my Thought Crimes like >>375132 said kek. I think I just have very puritanical ideas and wish I never had thoughts about anyone aside from who I'm dating. That's unrealistic though.
>>375080
>>375123
Sorry.
This is why I obviously will never talk to her about it. Likewise when I find myself attracted to women with features different from hers I often don't say either.
In fairness I'm aware that she is also attracted to different types of women that I can't be due to circumstances of birth, so I can empathize somewhat. Particularly because it's a trait I used to hate myself for lacking.
>>375091
I promise I am the opposite of the typical biwoman issue. Dating men was uncomfortable for me because I like the roles that come with being the ""boyfriend"" (and I prefer women)
>>375063
>>375102
Thanks, anons.

No. 375225

I'm bi but my internalized biphobia makes the think "based" every time lesbians shit on us specially if it's because of some disgusting shit like the one being discussed (and defended) right now. Keep up the good work.

No. 375226

>>375225
How is it disgusting? Quickly.

No. 375227

>>375225
Same and maybe I'm unironically a pickme but for lesbians.

No. 375228

>>375227
No matter how much you shit on your fellow bi women for harmless and unchangeable aspects of our sexuality (being attracted to both sexes. I’ll remind everyone that’s what anons are being lambasted for, somehow), you will still be hated by the same people you crave validation from. So you lose out on community, spread hostility, and gain nothing in the end. That’s the pickme folly.

No. 375230

>>375225
>>375227
I'm a lesbian and didn't say anything earlier because this isn't my thread, but it makes me really sad when bi women talk about themselves this way. It isn't fine for lesbians to treat bi women like you're disgusting, you shouldn't self flagellate to placate people like that. Those are the sorts of lesbians who will even treat other lesbians like garbage for harmless things, so don't take it to heart. Some lesbians won't be comfortable dating bi women and vice versa, and that's fine, but treating sexual orientation like a conscious decision that reflects on your moral character is ridiculous.

No. 375231

>>375227
>>375230
Bi pickme for lesbians and lesbian pickme for bis should go out with each other.

No. 375232

Pretty sure that the women that would get extremely assmad if their bf even dared to scroll past an Instagram thot are the same ones defending actively cocklusting when in a relationship with another woman.(bait)

No. 375236

>>375230
Thanks anon. I really appreciate it. It’s really hard sometimes to be surrounded by this shit even from people who share the same experiences (and just hate themselves for it). I have to try really hard every day to not hate myself for being bisexual since straights, lesbians, and even fellow bisexuals hate us and make sure to tell us why we are morally repugnant all the time. It’s like you really have nowhere to go and no one to talk to. It’s so isolating.
Of course I know gay people also often feel isolated but at least they can find camaraderie with other gay people. Bisexuals hate themselves so much that they hate each other too.

No. 375238

>>375232
>the same ones defending actively cocklusting when in a relationship with another woman.
Anon, it seems you have the secret for changing one’s sexuality. Please do tell how we dirty bisexuals can switch off our sexuality to be morally pure, and we will do it posthaste. You should probably also inform the scientific community since this is a huge breakthrough.

No. 375239

>>375236
>>375238
You seem so hung up in the "it's just part of my sexuality!!1!" argument, but if you're in a relationship and you constantly fantasize about romantic or sexual interactions with other people then it's so fucking over already. It doesn't matter if you're dating a woman and fantasizing about other women, the same principle still holds. That you're dating a woman and fantasize about men is just disgusting from a personal standpoint but yeah, sounds like if you weren't a failed normalfag you would be the very definition of "bislut".

No. 375242

>>375239
Most bisexuals will fantasize about the sex opposite of their partner every once in a while, because they are attracted to both and get itches for both. That’s just how it goes. Bisexuals won’t admit this usually because the hoards descend on us to call us all sorts of disparaging names, as you so aptly demonstrate, but it’s true. Well-adjusted individuals will just keep it to themselves in a relationship. Maladjusted individuals like yourself will have massive spergout name calling fits about this totally harmless and completely internal experience due to your own insecurities.

No. 375243

>>375242
Most women don't fantasize about fucking other people that's not their partner if they actually like them. You are either hypersexual or have porn brainrot.(infighting)

No. 375245

>>375243
Kek you can try to say it’s not true but most bisexuals know it is. It has nothing to do with being “porn addicted” or “hyper sexual”, although you wish you could pin those vices on us too im sure.

No. 375246

>>375245
So what you're saying is that it's natural for bisexual women to just uncontrollably fantasize about other people when in a relationship? You're not really helping your case here if you don't want to play into the bislut stereotype.

No. 375248

>>375246
I don’t mind, because I don’t assign the same retarded insecurity-fueled morality judgement to my harmless internal thoughts that you do and so your analysis is invalid to me. IMO, it sounds like you need to gain some self confidence, anon.

No. 375249

>>375248
Why the fuck do you keep projecting? I'm not the one who literally wrote a post about being insecure about her sexual thoughts. And again if the morality aspect didn't bother you then you wouldn't have wrote such post in the first place. You already know it's wrong because it feels wrong to you, you just wanted validation from other whores.(infighting)

No. 375250

>>375248
It's the retarded cockbreath anon. Please report and ignore, she usually starts trolling the boards around these times looking for male attracted women to hate on. Interaction is futile, her iq is negative values

No. 375251

>>375250
I thought this brand of retardation sounded familiar(infighting)

No. 375252

>>375249
Are you hallucinating that everyone itt but you is the same person or something? Kek(infight)

No. 375263

Do they not teach you all how not to respond to bait anymore? We can do better than this.

It's a bit early, but does anyone have plans for Valentine's? I'll be in my home country for the occasion but I'm planning on treating my girlfriend to a little hotel stay when I'm back if she'll let me. I offered to pay for a massage day on Valentine's itself while I'm gone, but she said she'd rather have me here to celebrate it :)(contributing to infight/bait, emoticon)

No. 375266

>>375236
Wow look at this pity party. People don’t hate on bisexuals for being attracted to two genders (what?) they hate them for how often they confirm stereotypes. I’m bisexual but IRL I fit in more with lesbians than bi women.(infight bait)

No. 375267

>>375266
This post is the definion of a not-like-other-bisexuals

No. 375268

>>375267
Is it wrong though? Especially with the self-victimising in this thread, despite bi women basically being Straight Woman+ 90% of the time, it just sounds ridiculous.

No. 375269

Lesbians get soooo mad and insecure about our innate attraction to men and it's hilarious. Just stick to your own containment thread instead of poisoning ours and triggering yourselves kek(infight bait)

No. 375270

Finally accepting that I'm not as much "febfem" as I am just "bi myself". Men are still "hard no", women are "maybe" but I can't say I really care that much to have actual sex or relationships to put any effort into finding them so I'm basically celibate.

No. 375271

>>375270
I'm the same, I'm too autistic and low libido to be in a relationship and I don't crave any kind of romantic connection, I don't really care about my orientation in the end.

No. 375282

I hate being bisexual not because I hate my sexuality inherently, but because of how everyone and their dog’s favorite pastime is ranting how much they hate us all the time. Both het normies and gay people insult and degrade us for fun at best, and out of genuine hatred at worst. I am never coming out because there is no point, anyone not bisexual would judge me for it and bisexuals by and large just tear each other down to try to appease outsiders who will never stop hating us anyway. The world is just full of garbage people on all sides.

No. 375283

>>375270
>I am just "bi myself"
kek, I'm the same way. Sometimes I find myself caring and feeling like time is running out to find someone after I watch too many instagram reels but in my day to day life I don't really care about romance at all enough to act on it. I'm perfectly fine being volcel tbh

No. 375286

>>375282
People will also shit on lesbian and straight womens sexualities. Straight women get the classic madonna/whore treatment, lesbians are either oversexualised or faking it because they hate men. If you are gnc/not conventionally attractive and attracted to women you can be seen as predatory, if attracted to men a desperate laughable hag. Sadly other women do this as well as men, and many of us internalise the shit so much we dont even realise.

No. 375288

>>375270
I'm sorta sitting on the fence with this one. On the one hand I'm alright alone and I know I'd be a shitty partner with all my obsessions and autistic routines and my job I'm basically married to atm, but on the other hand I do get these weird romantic dreams and stupid obsessive crushes, mainly to fandom friends and people I stalk on social media (kek ik how bad that sounds). I might be telling myself I'll die alone, but at the same time I know that if presented with the chance to get involved with some woman who is as sad sperg as I am, I won't hesitate and I'll probably end up ruining my life over it.

No. 375289

>>375286
I wasn’t trying to imply that other groups don’t have problems, I was just saying it feels uniquely lonely as a bi since even other bisexual women are hostile to each other.

No. 375290

>>375289
Didnt mean it that way. We do get our unique mix of the judgement. I guess I was trying also explain all the infight in general.

No. 375325

>>375288
Nonna, are you me? Would unironically ask you out on a date kek
I also feel like with my job and routines and obsessions I wouldn't be able to find the time for a relationship but then I always end up crushing on women in my fandom spaces which is super embarrassing (currently going through that once again)
I don't ever go on dates because on one hand I keep telling myself I'd rather just be single and spare myself the disappointment but at the same time I'm worried that I might never find a girlfriend who will really click with me and that does make me feel sad

No. 375327

>>375288
>>375325
>crushing on women in fandom spaces
Damn I thought I was the only one. If there is at least one women out there who's as equally brainrotted as me then maybe I'll have a chance of finding a gf.

No. 375328

>>375327
Let's collectively try to not lose hope nonna
Unfortunately I live in a small, irrelevant country with a lack of fandom communities, so my crushes usually live in different countries, which makes things even more difficult
It's like I only meet fellow brainrotted women online and then I always start fantasizing about what a potential relationship would look like kek

No. 375450

>>375327
>>375325
>>375288
Dropping by to give you all hope. I met my gf like this and it is the best thing to ever happen to me. Being weird together means we respect each other's space and we have near identical life experiences.
May the Nerd Goddess grant you all love, too.

No. 375461

>>375327
>>375328
kek I guess it's a good baseline for a relationship if you've read each others' embarrassing fanfiction and liked it, you have no secrets at that point basically. And same to the daydreaming and small country problems, based on what I've heard all the normie dating apps here have like 10 actual women on them and they all are each others' exes.
>>375450
Thanks nona, a girl can dream.

No. 375468

>>375461
>if you've read each others' embarrassing fanfiction and liked it
Honestly that just contributes to having a crush for me because it's weirdly intimate and knowing that the other person is into the same stuff I am doesn't help either kek


As for the dating apps, I actually installed one (am trying very hard to get over my current crush because it's never gonna happen and I want to stop being sad about it) and I really only found a handful of women, none of which seemed to have anything common with me + a lot of them don't want monogamous relationships which I don't think I could deal with so maybe it is time to lose hope after all kek

No. 375491

When I think of having a girlfriend I always imagine she’s in fandom spaces like me. I grew up on them and the people there are the ones I ended up closest with. Honestly my type is kind of neet girls, I don’t even mind if her life is a mess I will come over to her house and clean it for her and give her kisses.

No. 375521

>>375491
Trust me, you DO NOT want a neet girlfriend

No. 375523

I don't know what fandoms you nonnies are in, but for me most of the bi women in my fandoms have gone the they/them route over the last 10ish years. Are there any that tend to have more "cis" women?

No. 375524

>>375523
Fandoms are all infested with TIFs. Nerd culture has been ruined imo

No. 375553

>friend confesses she had a crush on me way back in college
>somehow convinces myself she's just being nice to reassure me on being a virgin at 31
I'm really grasping at straws to convince myself I'm undesirable and unlovable right?

No. 375560

>>375523
>they/them route
Oh definitely, I just get really fucking stupid when I have a crush on someone so I'm telling myself I can look past that kek
I also feel like it's gonna be impossible to find a cute weeb gf with brainrot if I'm not willing to put up with that, idk maybe I'm just desperate

No. 375571

>>375560
>>375523
The gender stuff is definitely prolific in fandom spaces because most people in them tend to be under 25. If it makes you feel better nonnas, most of these women go she/they or back to she pronouns in about 5 years.

No. 375593

I love my bf very much but the more I’m convinced he’s the one I regret never having a sexual relationship with a woman, not for lack of trying but any women I would meet & make out with at the club in college didn’t evolve into hookups or hanging out during the day. I’ve started having dreams about my bf’s ex girlfriend and girls from college and it’s making me really depressed. I know my bf is the best man I could ask for, he’s very patient, kind and respectful, hates porn and never watched it, and I could see myself marrying him and having children absolutely, but I keep fantasizing about marrying him, having a kid, and then he dies in war or dies in his 40s and then I can finally be with a women. I finally understand why so many women “aren’t” lesbians until they have already been married, have kids and divorced or their husbands die.

No. 375606

File: 1706202231718.jpg (425.5 KB, 2792x1858, inspired-by-funny-cute-cat-dra…)

Ok nonnies, bear with me because this gonna be a bit long plus I can't really speak english very well (not a native) so I only ask for a bit of mercy if anything isn't clear enough.
First off, I realized I liked girls at age 10ish, the boy phase at school to me was awkward as fuck because I couldn't put a finger why I didn't like boys or boybands and such and I had to invent random crushes, then I fell in love with a boy and realized that I like…femininity? I don't know how to say this but I don't like anything associated with the concept of masculinity and this has brought a couple of problems in my relationship history. I like "soft" boys or boys that don't give a fuck about retarded stand offs with other males, I like boys that are comfortable in their own expression (for ex. liking pink, it may seem a little thing but for a guy liking pink or feminine things is a great thing, without being a faggot.)
And no, I don't like faggots, but let's go on. As a bisexual woman, I like feminine women, but I'm feminine myself. I had a short relationship with a normal woman (not really feminine but neither a butch, long blonde hair, makeup but hoodies and jeans typa gal in the 2010s) and then I wanted another gf because for me it's easier to fall in love with women. A woman was single in my shithole town and I tried to get with her and then I realized something: very masculine butch give me a bit of a …ick? I'm not disgusted in the literal sense, but women who act like moids put me off and when I see feminine and butchy woman I cannot help but feel it like it's a hetero relationship without the dick. I get it, like ofc lesbians don't like dick but those lesbians who are "one of the boys", act like moids, comment on women like moids do (like in a very sexist way), are gross on purpose, have typical masculine interests like sports or motorbikes idk, they throw me off? I broke up with her because we weren't compatible, I'm a quiet girly and she asked for sex on the second date and tried to pin me on a wall for a kiss on that same day, something that usually moids do. And I don't like that. She called me a faker, that claimed to like women only for clout (what clout bitch, we would end up beaten in this shithole town.)
But since I'm the "feminine", am I doomed to attract only this type of lesbians? I don't mean butch women, I love butch women! I also love if they're taller than me and can carry me! I love when they don't give a fuck, their confident attitude!!!
But I like them to be in touch with their feminine side and not be "one of the boys".
I'm not even that feminine like sure, cut my hair to a pixie cut and throw out the 2-3 skirts I have in my wardrobe and I could consider myself a butch only by that but…I feel like a fake bisexual sometimes? Or picky? I like women, I love them, more than males but when they act like moids they immediatly throw me off, like if I wanted a moid, I'd date one. I know that gender roles are bullshit but I don't know how to describe it. I feel like they do that so people know that they're a lesbian, wearing oversize clothes, short hair, no makeup ever (this is bullshit but like sometimes I wear eyeliner, I just back off if they consider all make up some "girly thing" like that is a bad thing, to like girly things), being gross on purpose by spitting on the streets like males do…
Should I feel bad, about thinking this type of thing? I mean really, I'm genuinely asking, am I wrong in some way? Do I show in some way that I like women, because since I'm a bit feminine, other women assume I'm straight so they don't even hit on me?
I know that being bisexual means liking men and women full stop but I can't seem to like "classic lesbians", the ones that you can instantly see that they are. I don't know, to me they feel like some sort of pickmes but with boys in the other way. Casually shitting on womanity and femininity, but also wanting to fuck women. Sorry for the confusing post, I'm not sure how to talk about this and I also feel that lesbians don't wan't to have anything to do with me because I also like dick….I've seen some lesbians describe us as dirty and such, it pains me a little.

No. 375614

>>375606
next time maybe write a first draft because this was so long and rambly I honestly don’t even know what you’re saying.
You say you get the “ick” from butches but then later say you love butches? I don’t know what you’re trying to say but it’s fine to have a preference for or not for something. Personally I am not attracted to feminine women at all but I don’t go around shitting on feminine women so like just don’t do that for your anti-preference and stop being weird about things

No. 375619

>>375606
It's fine to have preferences
I'm pretty feminine myself and like both masculine and feminine women but someone acting like a moid would also give me the ick because that behavior just grosses me out. Same with pick me girls and nlogs, it's just types of behavior I can't stand, it doesn't say anything about your sexuality.

No. 375637

>>375614
I get the ick from butches that act like moids and resemble one, not from butches themselves. Rarely a feminine lesbian woman is one of the boys, this happens mostly with butches with an all guys circles.
I love butches, I don't like butches who want to be men so bad that they're borderline tifs and hate everything feminine except for the women that they want to fuck.

No. 375644

>>375523
My main fandom Batman is definitely infested with gendies but as another anon said they tend to be younger. A lot of the 25+ women are not into that shit. Usually on AO3 it's the better writers who are more mature and chill, they don't force cringy trans headcanons or sperg about politics as often as some younger fans or people who use fanfic as a platform for soapboxing.
>>375560
>telling myself I can look past that
kek okay I admit I do this as well. But mostly I just ignore gender crap.

No. 375658

>>375606
>>375637
Nah anon, I get it. I also like flamboyant/"effeminate" butches and am a soft masc myself. The types who are stylishly boyish and into art/academics/nerd shit/etc. Both women and men who are tough and hard masculine just have little in common with me and so I never engaged with them in that way.
Soft masculinity is hot as fuck in women and men.
Also being bisexual doesn't mean you like all men and women. We're still allowed to have types kek. Anything else is just stereotypes.

No. 375668

>>375606
it just sounds like you have a preference for girly fashion and behavior associated with femininity. It's completely normal to have types and preferences when it comes to dating so don't overthink it. Anyone who demands that you date a masc woman just so you can prove that you are bi is a shit person anyway

No. 375952

>>375606
I think I know what you mean, some women have a misogynistic view on other women, especially more feminine ones. And lesbians specifically can have this "pick me as a friend" energy towards moids, compared to similar OSA women who will try to appeal sexually to them as well.

No. 376127

>>375952
ayrt and YES THAT WAS I MEANT.
Butches that act like moids and feel justified to do so because they want to fuck the same thing, just like faggots act with girls.
They both revolt me but since I'm more "feminine", I'm not the standard wlw so I'm afraid to not attract women and if I do, I only attract this type of butches and if I say that I'm not attracted to them, they say that I fake liking women for clout. I know, a single experience I had doesn't make up an entire category but after her I started to see this more and more….
I started to avoid lesbians who only have guy friends and are randomly misogynistic like ewwww

No. 376647

As a bi woman, would you date a bi man?
For me, no, I wouldn't.
Bi men, especially those who are tops, often put their dick in countless assholes and I don't want their diseases. Sure, you can get them even from a straight moid, but gay relationship in men are dirty and often are into "pozzing", no wonder that many women with aids got it from their closeted or bi partners.
Plus bi men are often attention seeking and are entitled, they often play prize and believe that they're some hot shit or something.

No. 376648

>>376647
I genuinely wouldn’t care as long as he’s been tested for hiv. I’d probably prefer it to a straight moid because then we have bisexuality in common at least

No. 376649

>>376647
I would if they weren't as into men, but if they were over like a Kinsey 2 I wouldn't. I don't mind him thinking about dicks once in a while when he masturbates but if the attraction is strong enough to actually seek out dick then no. The m/m sex scene is frankly dangerous, and I'm not very interested in someone who probably fucks male asses raw while on party drugs or some shit and has a super high body count (literally everyone I know who's had an absurd amount of sex partners has been a gay or bi male. No shade, but it's just not compatible with my own libido).
My opinion on dating bi women is the opposite. I'd avoid it the attraction to women wasn't that strong but would date someone who is active with women

No. 376651

>>376647
I wouldn't date a man anyway.

No. 376688

>>376647
I wouldn't date men period and have held true to that, but if I did be more open to a bisexual man than a het one.

No. 376723

>>376647
Depends I guess, but the thought of aidsdick does scare me lol. To go a bit off topic, the thing about women being more sexually fluid is a complete lie and "straight" men experiment with each other quite frequently – you'd be surprised. Your own nigel very well could have done things with his buddies and you would be completely in the dark. My point is you're playing a dice game with men whatever they say their sexuality is because "straight" doesn't guarantee straight.

No. 376879

>>376647
I'd personally prefer to date a bi man over a straight man (I've only dated women so far), but it's very off-putting seeing some of them complain loudly about being rejected for being bi. That's in no way a universal thing but they act like it's entirely other people's fault for having dating preferences. But my real dating preference is for other bi women.

No. 376907

>>376879
Kek men are expert professional victims, more often than not they're rejected for known sexual promiscuity. But I've only ever dated bi men personally (LC would hang me and burn me at stake etc) and the relationships were fine, no cheating etc very comfortable. It wasn't about them being bi as their identity, I am just the kind of person that doesnt see the point in a relationship if they aren't also your best friend and you get along. So I never date men because they're bi, I just find that ends up being a part of them I do connect with. Not all bisexuals are annoying insufferable DLs. I think location and how you are is a big part of it. I've always had a thing for giant men who are actually just big bottom bitches and in the situations where it evolved into a relationship was because we just naturally gravitated toward eachother. I think meeting people that are like you can be hard to do by chance, so maybe online dating does seem more tempting depending on your situation, but you just have to be yourself and know what you want/vocalize honestly and if you are similar to the person you like or compliment them it's very easy to become symbiotic. You just make sure you aren't becoming a doormat to some miserable DL above all else.

No. 376915

>>376647
With moids you never know what you get, they all can cheat, go to prostitutes, have porn addiction etc. I dont think being bi really makes a difference, degenerates will find a way to coom. Do I want dick that has been in a million asses, no, but I also dont want someone who fucks a plastic torso of a woman while watching women being abused on film.

No. 376994

this guy invited me to his place to watch a movie tonight. I know what that means but I've never hooked up with a guy, and honestly thinking about it is making me feel kind of gross. I really dont want to go but I cant cancel now its too late what do I do? Im awkward and lowkey retarded so I cant talk , and I just had back surgery 3 weeks ago so I cant even take off my shirt if i wanted to because the scar is so ugly right now.

No. 376995

>>376994
nonna, get ahold of yourself. if the dude is thinking "haha she has to come here now, she's in my trap" just because you don't cancel early enough he's just a demonic person. please don't go, you will regret it if you do and feel icky. my advice is to find a female friend to talk to or focus on other things you like.

No. 376997

>>376994
What do you mean, you can absolutely cancel now. Women need to stop being so afraid of saying no to moids. If you don’t want to do it, don’t go, especially because you never know how a moid will react when he is denied in person after you arrive and he thought he was going to get lucky.

No. 377126

Never dated a man. I want to because I've bi-cycled and am feeling more attracted to them than previously, but I'm worried about dating a man and then hearing that question "so, do you think she's attractive …?" About one of my or his friends. Do I have to stay in the closest forever if I want to explore my OSA or else get sexualised for my orientation?

No. 377129

>>376647
Yeah I would. There's a bigger chance he wouldn't be homophobic too and would understand me also being bisexual. Also I make anyone who dates me get tested for STDs anyways if we are going to have sex, so I don't worry about that. Worrying if he will cheat? No.

No. 377135

>>376994
if you "can't talk" ghost his ass if it's easier say you were in pain or sick later!

No. 377176

>>377126
You can put your foot down and say "not interested in playing this game with you" or any other variation on that's none of your business. ngl, anyone considering dating a man should be completely ready to defend yourself, your dignity, and your boundaries because even nice guys are always testing and always pushing, so being ready to do that about your sexuality is good prep for putting up with that sort of thing.

No. 377187

I wish I wasn't such a miserably lonely retard so I could get a gf. I like my bf as a person but I think I'm just not very attracted to males 90% of the time. I wish I had genuine reasons to get upset and break up with him so I could try dating women but I like talking to him and don't have other people to talk to in my daily life and would probably become depressed again
>meet guy on app because practically friendless shut-in and sperg
>he's pretty cute to me and we relate on shared past of mental illness, agree on many topics and can talk about many cool hobbies and interests
>romantic stuff feels pretty good
>agree to lose virginity
>didn't really feel good, kind of hurt and wasn't actually turned on
>must be because of antidepressants
>stop taking them, still not turned on enough
>he cares if I enjoy it or not and wants to make me feel good, so keep trying to have sex with him while secretly hoping that something in my brain/body will suddenly change one day and actually feel aroused enough
>felt too guilty to fantasize about women after getting into relationship with moid
>try to fantasize about men
>mildly arousing but takes a while to get there
>has to be extremely specific scenarios with extremely specific types I find very attractive
>recoil at the thought of marrying a moid even if he was 10/10 and exactly my type
>okay let's try this again
>try to fantasize about women
>instantly super fucking horny, incomparable to feelings about men
>easily imagine myself marrying a woman and never looking back
>fantasize about living domestic home life with wifey
fml

No. 377192

>>376994
sry nonnies i went, we kissed and stuff but i didnt let him go further i was super uncomfortable , he was nice about i guess (as nice as a moid can be after being denied sex) but at least i understand how i feel about guys better now

No. 377195

File: 1707005148055.jpg (46.12 KB, 564x564, augh.jpg)

If there's a hell I deserve to go to it for my bisexuality and the things my specific version of it makes me want to do.
I hate this shit.

No. 377197

>>377195
Now you know we're all curious

No. 377201

I'm very sexually attracted to women but the idea of dating one irl freaks me out so bad, and I think I finally figured out why.
With moids, they're emotionally just kind of stupid and will never really know what's going in in your head that well, so it's like having a privacy curtain where you can pick and choose what about yourself you present to him. But women understand other women intuitively and it scares me so much to not have that curtain to hide behind. That kind of open-ness and vulnerability makes me so uncomfortable I get nauseous just thinking about it.
I think this also explains why in most of my fantasies about women I self-insert as a man, or imagine time-freeze scenarios where she can't perceive me, etc. Because those afford me a barrier. Am I even making sense? I don't understand why I have to have such weird complicated issues with everything. I wish I could just be normal like everyone else.

No. 377206

>>377195
what? threesomes?

No. 377208

>>377197
>may actually be incapable of commitment despite convincing myself that I am and desiring nothing more
>it took me dating two people to suspect this (the guilt I feel is immense)
>only form of attraction is intense and unnerving obsession that isn't built to last
>haunted by insane fetishes
>sexually attracted to many different types of people
Perhaps it's my attachment issues and I'm blaming it on my sexuality, but the two feel inextricable.
If I had less restraint I'd be evil and so self-destructive. I already feel evil.
>>377206
No, I'm shy.

No. 377217

>>377208
aw. if you're young and/or inexperienced, this is a normal and common craving to have a bunch of different experiences in life. don't beat yourself up. also, in my opinion being sexually attracted to many different types of people is more well adjusted than having a very specific type.

No. 377219

>>377217
>being sexually attracted to many different types of people is more well adjusted than having a very specific type
nta, that's my problem, it's the worst. My type is so specific i never meet anyone I'm interested in. I really want a relationship but no matter how hard I try to force myself to be attracted to people around me, there's just nothing there. I think if i'm being honest with myself, I will probably be alone for my whole life. which honestly has me suicidal.

No. 377222

>>377208

dont worry everybody has something about them that makes them different and there definitely will be someone who loves you at some point. if youre evil then im pretty evil too! we can go to hell together! cya there!

No. 377224

>>377219
aw nona. here's hoping you meet someone you have a spark with eventually.

No. 377235

Am I a scumbag for only being attracted to goldstars? Whenever I learn that a girl I'm into fucked a man before I just lose all my attraction. My lesbian friends say they understand but most of my bisexual friends say that I'm an asshole, specially since I've been with men before and I don't really hate them or anything. I cannot control this though, so I'm at a loss of what to do.

No. 377238

>>377235
>Whenever I learn that a girl I'm into fucked a man before I just lose all my attraction
>I've been with men before and I don't really hate them or anything.
megan fox is that you?

No. 377252

>>377235
imo no you're not, nobody can force you to include them in your dating pool, but realistically most women will have been involved with men somehow so you're kind of limiting your options. i've slept with both men and women but would probably feel a little insecure if my partner had been involved with a lot more men than me, mostly due to internalising societal pressures to fuck/date men.

No. 377275

>>377235
be attracted to whatever, that’s fine who cares. but I do wonder, do you really think some moid’s dick is so powerful it can damage the value of a woman? that seems like moid logic to me

No. 377290

>>377235
if you've fucked men before it is weird, for lesbians it's more understandable because they themselves are only attracted to women and men disgust them. it is what it is ultimately, but it probably is related to some unconscious view of fucking men degrading women or that other bi women are unstable, etc.

No. 377291

>>377235
I mean, you do you but I think it's weird to have your attraction to a certain woman revolve so much around men.

No. 377340

>>377291
If anything her sexual preference is for women whose sexuality doesn't revolve around men because hers also doesn't.

No. 377343

>>377340
she’s still a hypocrite kek

No. 377344

>>377340
nta but I totally get that as an idea, in that I completely respect lesbians who are turned off by bisexualtiy and just wanna date other lesbians, and I (bisexual) also would really only prefer to date people who prefer women, because I don't want to be anyone's second choice. but a bisexual who fucks men and says "all of my attraction instantly dies when I've found out you've ever fucked a man" is a little funny.

No. 377349

>>377340
>because hers also doesn't.
It kind of does since she literally said she fucks men

No. 377377

>>375288
>I know I'd be a shitty partner with all my obsessions and autistic routines and my job I'm basically married to atm
AYRT, tbh this is why I'm almost relieved all my female crushes have been very straight. On the other hand, I'm also such a sperg I did go on a few dates with moids before without realizing they were meant to be dates and not just hanging out as friends to the point that they gave up on me because nothing was happening kek. The concept of actually dating a real life moid is just so alien to me, dating a fellow fandom sperg woman just makes more sense. But I also fear this exact factor could just as well be a double edged sword. Also like anons have already pointed out, most fandom spergy women are also some kind of genderhaver and even among those who are not, most of them are at least supportive of that shit.

No. 377408

>>377235
Bi males be like

No. 377554

>>377219
There are some people whose lives ate planned out, they KNOW exactly who their type was, when they'd be ready for a relationship and exactly what the ideal relationship is for them. They are so hyper specific about what they want that they remove any natural romanticism in their lives. Their relationships aren't organic attractions. Just a check list. One thing is for sure, love does not come with a handbook, guidelines, or any sort of rules. It's unpredictable but that's why it's so intense. I have standards too, for dating. But people don't have to fit them. There is adjusting that can be made. When people aren’t able to bend their standards, there’s usually a root cause. It's an idea you want, not a person. What causes you that idea and why is it so rigid? That's what you have to find.

No. 377557

>>377554
>It's an idea you want, not a person. What causes you that idea and why is it so rigid?
Ayrt, kek, you don’t get it. When I say I have a type, I mean a physical type only, not an “idea” of an ideal personality or “high standards”. All of my crushes in my life have literally have the same facial ratios, features, and coloring. If you lined them all up you’d be like “Jesus Christ, that’s specific” kek.

No. 377559

>>377554
Ifl you'll just never fall in love if you have a whole huge checklist your partner has to meet. It's fine to have standards but people being so picky makes it hard to fall in love organically

No. 377560

>>377559
Anon, are you high? You’re repeating yourself

No. 377744

File: 1707230438824.jpeg (273.89 KB, 781x874, A2A5B8C0-79C2-49EE-9CDD-9A8C99…)

another day of sorrowful mourning that there are no androgynous women around. The only one I see around is a TIF on my floor at work and she’s annoying as fuck and begendered even though she’s decently cute. I will never find a gf. I’m going to pull the carpet up in my room out of frustration. I want a tall short haired gf with a sexy nose is that too much to ask? In this horrible life full of suffering? I just want to eat the pussy of a handsome androgynous woman once in my life and then I swear god could strike me down and I’d be satisfied with life. I’m going to go into hysterics in a bathroom stall at work I can’t take this anymore I’m so horny for something I cannot have. Do you understand? Does anybody understand?

No. 377758

>>377744
What the fuck. I could have written this post word for word for word. I am basically thinking all of this on a loop literally every fucking day. I even have a kinda butch coworker who I try not to have thoughts about (who's off-limits because she's a coworker (unless?)). You are the only one who gets it but I hope we live in different cities so we are not competing for the same handsome women.

No. 377765

>>377758
>I hope we live in different cities so we’re not competing though
That’s the even more hopeless part that makes me want to give up and jump off a bridge. I would never win the heart of a woman like that because I’m ugly and weird. It’s so over nona.

No. 377777


No. 377806

>>377744
you're just like me fr(learn2integrate)

No. 378033

>>377744
give it a few years nonna. tifism is a huge social contagion right now but realistically i can't see it going on with the same intensity it currently is by the end of the decade. the downside is there will be a lot of bi women and lesbians in the future with no tits because they went the top surgery route.

No. 378096

>>377744
Well at least as someone more on the masc side I liked to hear that. I have feminine straight friends that get constantly hit on by women and I seethe every time kek. But yes not everyone becames a tif and for some it will only be a phase.

No. 378141

>>378033
> there will be a lot of bi women and lesbians in the future with no tits because they went the top surgery route.
Ayrt, yeah or with man voices and stubble because they went on T. All the women in my age group who would have been androgynous or masculine hotties are being medically butchered. And not to make it all about me because I feel definitely sad for them, but also I feel sad for me because it’s destroyed the entire dating pool. It all feels so hopeless.
I would dress more masculine myself if I could pull it off, but I don’t have the the right body (big hips/thighs, short legs) or face for it. If I was born with a different shape I would be dressing like a flashy 70s man, kek.
>>378096
Godspeed. Please keep doing your thing.

No. 378328

>>378141
Kek this is how I’ve felt too. It’s a little bit of a selfish way of thinking but the number one thing about trannyism that bothers me the most is genuinely watching all these women ruin themselves lol. I’ve seen feminine women troon out and say they feel better now, why couldn’t you just be confident as a masculine woman? So sad that we could have had so many hot mascs instead. There’s something about T that makes people look worse too, even some dudes look better taking estrogen and progesterone to be honest. I really hope some big social movement happens to have them snap out of it.

No. 378610

File: 1707673844868.jpeg (79.9 KB, 847x652, 140538D8-26B8-4A2F-9C0A-AC41F9…)

I hate being bisexual. You get to have the excruciatingly painful experience of “double compounding jealousy”, which occurs when you are simultaneously jealous of the man dating your female crush, and jealous of your crush for dating such a handsome man. I keep imagining them making out and then fighting the urge to throw a table through a window while also being turned on. Fuck this

No. 378642

>>378610
Kek that happened to me once too. Didnt know if I should cry or masturbate. But you will get over it!

No. 378661

File: 1707691174450.jpeg (24.38 KB, 251x303, C9D77479-B606-4A77-8F80-8381D3…)

>>378642
>didn’t know if I should cry about it or masturbate
god, you get it. It’s just the worst. Both of them are basically my exact types for men and women. She’s has an androgynous, tall and cool appearance but with a girly demeanor and sexy nose, he’s fucking JACKED with huge tits and nice lips, I could gnaw my arm off in sheer frustration. It doesn’t help that I know he’s the first man she’s dated so I KNOW she must be going crazy for him in bed and showing him all the vulnerable sides of herself as a woman. Which then makes me upset that I am not a man and can’t be that for her. I’m so fucked up over this it’s unreal. I hope you’re right and I’ll get over it soon but I’ve been obsessed with her for so long now I think my prognosis is grim

No. 378664

>>378661
Beg for a threesome or ask to hide in the closet and watch

No. 378670

I like a girl a lot. When I see her I just want to treat her softly, caress her. I just have no idea how to flirt with women. Damn.

No. 379142

I really hate riding my bi-cyle. I guess I'm not even really riding it, I'm skidding off road and landing face first in a ditch with every turn of the wheel. It's really extreme from one end to the other and always lasts just long enough that I get comfortable (1 year, a few years, etc) before it takes a sharp turn back to the other extreme. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to this, and no matter how many times it happens I always start convincing myself that past me was just crazy and didn't know what she was feeling. It's just a horrible way to live and no one understands how upsetting this is to go through.

No. 379197

>>377201
You're the first person I've ever heard say this and it makes so much sense. Men are so dense and imperceptive that you can really mull over and decide your course of action when having a discussion. It really would be scary to be with someone who can actually read you like a book.

No. 379255

>>379197
Ayrt, I’m glad someone understands what I was trying to say. I have real issues with vulnerability to the point I don’t think I’ll ever learn how to fix it. I got bullied very hard in middle school but it didn’t even really bother me at the time so I don’t know why I have this problem or where it comes from. Being honest about mushy feelings feels just as impossible as stabbing myself in the stomach with a sword. And then add my near fatal insecurities about being bisexual and also ugliness and the result is I will never get a girlfriend and be stuck just fantasizing forever. Fml

No. 379352

I always feel like such a degenerate for my bisexual fantasies because they can get so weird and mixed up as my brain tries to satisfy both sides at once.

No. 379388

>>379142
You and me both. I hate it. I think I might never be happy. I'm often desperately lonely but it doesn't seem fair to become seriously involved with anyone when I know that no matter how secure I feel in my attraction at any given time, my bi-cycle is inescapable, even if it takes years. And it does take years for me. I've noticed I switch gears, on average, every 1-3 years. The older I get the harder it is, too, because every time I get comfortable I convince myself I've finally figured it out and all it took was time and maturity, and then I switch again. It's miserable. I wish I could just choose. I hate it here.

No. 379393

>>379142
>>379388
What I hate most is how unsure I am if it's actually just my attachment/commitment problems using my bisexuality to fuck me over.
It really only happens when I feel "trapped" in the face of forever with someone, which makes me doubly shitty and evil. And it's not like I ever get to fuck these people because I'm soooo self-controlled and restrained, then I end up sexually frustrated because I've somehow never gotten to touch a man or a woman despite dating both and being high libido.
I despise the idea of casual relationships because I have autistic ideals of how every human on earth should operate but I might have to do it. I guess I'm going to hell if it exists anyway.

No. 379401

>>377235
It's moid logic for sure. You don't hate men but you lose attraction for other women who've slept with men, even though you did too? Live your life tho lol

No. 379514

File: 1708033980556.jpg (71.69 KB, 735x528, 0b4cc07d8c0a95dc2a1ad7718ade56…)

Someone help me with this mess please

>be me, around 16-17

>always had boy crushes
>attracted to guys though my attraction is basically non-sexual unless I have feelings for the person
>find another girl super beautiful and gorgeous irl for the first time
>still not exactly a sexual kind of attraction
>enter my early 20s
>start watching porn, mostly lesbian
>feel horny so maybe I'm bi or maybe I'm brainwashing myself with this crap
>I develop a serious online crush on a girl friend around the same time
>tell bicurious friend who had always been interested in me but i wasn't aware
>we make our for weeks
>go all the way with bicurious friend
>this is my first real consensual sexual experience
>it was awkward and i didn't like her smell
>loved fondling fondling and kissing each other but the sexual part was weird
>maybe I'm not bi, maybe it was just not the right person, maybe it was just lack of experience
>finally quit porn
>go back to my old only boy crushes ways
>have 2 serious relationships with men
>several years pass
>love sex as a consequence of being in love
>stil can objectively know people are attractive, but only feel sexual desire if i have an emotional connection
>never connect like that with women anyway because ive had male partners in the last few years
>maybe I was never bi? still think I could love "the right woman for me" and feel sexual attraction as a consequence of that
>in a serious years long relationship so there's no way ill ever know for sure
>male partner says only feeling sexual attraction when you have a connection with the person is what is normal
>"we're the normal ones, everyone else is dysfunctional"
>is my partner right or are we just "demisexual" in denial?
>maybe we just have trauma and being demisexual is made up
>maybe I'm demisexual and me not understanding my bisexuality is a consequence of crushing mostly on men, not the lack of sexual attraction towards women
>even more confused now
>help

No. 379667

>>379514
demisexuality is not real, you're just a straight girl who got addicted to lesbian porn. IME actual lesbians don't even like lesbian porn, so liking lesbian porn does not mean you like women, it means you were a porn addict. Porn addiction can make people temporarily sexually interested in a lot of things that they otherwise would not be. IMO you don't have to be attracted to women to enjoy fondling and cuddling and kissing, i feel like society imbues more sexual meaning to that sort of bonding interaction then is natural, I think it's natural to like doing that with other women you're close to even for straight women, they just usually don't because they think it's gay. The fact that you didn't like actual sex with the same woman you liked doing the other stuff with just confirms this to me. That, and the fact your interest in women went away as soon as you stopped watching porn, which is a huge clue about what was actually going on.

No. 379688

>>379514
Nona, you sound straight. It's extremely normal to only want to have sex with someone after you feel a connection, adding a label like 'demisexual' to the mix is going to complicate things much more than is necessary. If you have never independently had sexual fantasies about women without porn to aid you, but you're okay with pursuing and having sex with men and you have only had real life crushes on men, that does not sound like bisexuality to me. Maybe you should go scope out the questioning sexuality thread to read about similar experiences?

No. 379712

>>379514
I disagree with the other anons, I think that you are bisexual to some degree (if you want to argue that people who watch cp are not pedos go ahead).

Btw the demisexual thing is indeed bullshit, it's normal to only want sex with people that you love, and the opposite is also true, you are likely to find someone who you are sexually attracted to without being too emotionally involved. You're still young. Another thing is that I think you just weren't that attracted to this bisexual girl you had sex with, I think that if this had been a girl you were in love with you would be more into it. It's obvious that you really prefer men and that's fine, but maybe you will meet a girl irl that you also fall for.

No. 379729

>>379514
I guess I don't see why it matters if someone is "technically" bisexual "on the inside" if she values men and relationships with males so much more. like, for someone like you who doesn't like sex with women, only has crushes on boys, never connects emotionally with women… it seems insane to me that you would have any connection to a bisexual identity.

No. 379730

>>379712
she literally admitted that when she ceases porn use, she stops feeling "attraction" to women. That is not bisexuality. You can keep the pedo arguments out of it, that's a whole different topic.

No. 379738

>>379730
That's literally not how it works. You're delusional if you think that because someone stops watching porn then the fetishes they had disappear. Is this what you moidlet told you? Kek(infighting)

No. 379742

>>379738
can you try not to say retarded things for 2 seconds. I don't really have the energy right now to be honest. but i guess i'll say if you really believe that there are people in this world with inborn fetishes for women stuffing bell peppers up their butts and think that has nothing to do with porn use then I salute you. And I give you the retard medal of honor. Because that's a beautiful vision of the world.

No. 379797

Anyone got advice on dating men after only dating women? My attraction to men has kicked in a lot stronger than it's ever been, but I have zero experience with dating or having sex with men, and I'm 24 which is a bit old to begin navigating het relationships for the first time. I know a lot of them would probably give me a pass on my inexperience if they knew I had only been with women, but I don't really want to tell them that because I fear they will sexualise me and my past relationships

No. 379882

If you realized you were bisexual later in life, do you ever look back and try to find signs that you might have dismissed? For me it felt like my bisexuality came out of nowhere, with the exception of little things here and there that I guess could have been clues if you squint at them, but I had just brushed off.

No. 379886

>>379797
Nonna rest assured, 24 isn't "too old" to start at all. I have plenty of female friends older than both of us who have never been in a relationship, regardless of sexuality. Your hypothetical boyfriend is very unlikely to mind your inexperience with men, unless he has a problem with homosexual relationships, but that's another thing entirely. Good luck!

No. 379919

>>379514
I also thought I was straight/"just a phase" because I didnt like having sex with my first gf. But turns out I enjoyed it with other women. I think it was because we were both insecure teenagers and she was pushing me. So I dont think you can tell for sure from that single experience.

No. 379921

How do you feel about the whole top/bottom roles for women? Do you identify as one of them and what does it mean to you? Im always confused when I see women using them, I dont even know which one I would be. Even more confusing for bisexuals that act the same in straight relationships, not like a woman would be considered a top with a man.

No. 379925

>>379921
I can somewhat understand it if one of the women involved is stone and thus is never on the receiving, end, but even then I don't really get it. I think most women just use it playfully and aren't actually separating themselves into those categories.

No. 379926

>>379921
I think it's stupid honestly, and I don't use it myself because despite what people say (that it's just about who's 'active' in the situation) I think it implies also a power dynamic (dominant vs submissive) that I don't like. I know some women are stone butches and some really like to be a pillow princess, whatever if that makes them happy, but I'm neither and I wouldn't feel comfortable dating either type. Maybe I'm more on the 'active' side if I have to define myself, but I can't see myself being happy in a relationship where I have to constantly please someone else without getting touched at all in return.

No. 379928

>>379921
>>379925
I think a lot of women, especially including but not limited to aidens, and even actual SSA women sometimes, usually the younger and more tumblr/tiktok/twitterbrained ones, literally just use them like seme/uke. Look at all the "bottoms can't drive and cry all the time" memes. I think in real life stones are a minority and most women are "vers", maybe "vers top" or "vers bottom" depending on individual preference.

No. 379936

>>379928
I don't think the ubiquity of it lines up with fujo origins tbh, and it's not like zillenial gay men use the terms any differently to "pisces can't drive" on social media (with the obvious caveat that those roles are actually applicable). I think it's more that gay male culture has been absorbed into wider lesbian and bisexual culture because people think there isn't any existing culture there.

No. 379940

>>379921
I don’t get it. Maybe I’m unusual but I’m equally interested in both being more “dominant” and being more “submissive”. In my fantasies I switch around depending on my mood and, I’m pretty sure, my cycle.

No. 379954

>>379936
Yeah, my wording was not the best. I wouldn't necessarily say fujos but I do think internet fandom/shipping culture in general also contributed to it, in particular the younger less experienced people whose first exposure to gay media was shipping and are more likely to view gay people and relationships in a more reductive way. But also I too have noticed the co-optation from gay male culture as well, even when it does not make sense, such as "limp wrist" or even "gays can't drive" or "gays can't do math" memes applied to lesbians. Another thing I have noticed is aidens trying to shape their idea of gay/bi male culture to be more like lesbian/bi female culture, like the whole "mlm" as a counterpart to "wlw" or "vincian" as a counterpart to "lesbian" or that ugly toothpaste flag as a counterpart to the pink/orange lesbian flag? I say aidens because I've never seen any actual male use any of those.

No. 379957

>>379954
I still feel like this only applies to online gays in fandom communities though. The online gay people I know aren't fandom people in the slightest and thus don't get the WLW/MLM thing, don't recognise the toothpaste flag, blahblahblah. It feels more commonplace on the internet because a lot of young women's communities online are centred around fandom, but it doesn't usually translate into how people approach these things in real life, and on the rare occasion that it does, you can spot them from a mile away.

No. 379973

>>379388
ayrt, you sound just like me.
>desperately lonely but it doesn't seem fair to become involved with anyone
I feel the same way. I feel like this is the only sexuality where if you get a certain form of it you are doomed to never find lifelong love.
>I switch gears every 1-3 years.
I've found I'm about the same. I've heard most other people have much shorter cycles, and I'm so jealous of them. You can muscle through anything for a few months, but not multiple years.
>every time I get comfortable I convince myself I've finally figured it out and all it took was time and maturity, and then I switch again.
I fall into this trap time and time again. It's always "Oh, I must have been stupid before, just a silly confused young woman. Now I truly understand myself. And then it fucking switches again and I'm back at square one.
>It's miserable. I wish I could just choose. I hate it here.
I agree. I truly wouldn't care which "side" I ended up on atp, I just wish I could make it stop. it's excruciating to imagine living the rest of my life like this.

No. 379975

File: 1708131409235.jpg (4.73 KB, 275x183, download.jpg)

>>379973
samefag. having this form of bisexuality has caused me to develop crippling OCD. I am constantly "checking" my attraction levels to men and women to verify that nothing has changed, and then whenever I happen to have any period of time, could be an hour or a few days, where my libido is low and my checks start failing, my blood will run cold and I'll start sweating and panicking that I'm about to "lose" myself again, that I'm about to switch back into my alter-ego that I haven't seen for year(s). It's so scary to me to never know when I will switch. It's like it's always lurking around the corner

No. 380008

I have a friend, and I'm not romantically interested in her, but I want to make love to her. We have sleepovers regularly and it's all I can think about when we sleep together. I try so hard not to linger while I look at her body. I'm so fucking horny for her, but she's straight and I have a BF. Lol. FML.

No. 380170

File: 1708212980071.gif (2.77 MB, 498x373, 53FF48D2-3383-4BE1-B25E-4ECC22…)

>>379975
Samefag again… I’m finally sensing that I’m about to switch again and I’m so scared. I don’t want to go back. The last time I was on this side I started to think ZELENSKI was sexy. I don’t recognize that part of myself anymore. I feel like a werewolf who is about to transform and I can do nothing to stop it. I don’t want to go back!!!!!!!!!

No. 380334

>>379975
>>380170

Bi cycling anons do you experience some mental health issues or other changes in identity? No offense, it just sounds wild to me. Im the stereotypical "attracted to everyone at once" bi myself so not like I can judge.

No. 380338

>>380334
Ayrt, no, not really. I’ve had the typical anxiety/depression combo since I was a teen but I think that’s pretty common. My identity in all other aspects of myself has been incredibly stable, confident, and self-assured my whole life. I’ve always felt like I know who I am and what makes me me. In fact I think it’s because I’ve always felt like I know myself very well, that having this start happening is especially upsetting and distressing.
Additionally, I showed no symptoms of OCD before I started bicycling. But I really think that it’s almost natural to develop that as a result of what I go through to be honest. I think it’s a manifestation of trying to find patterns and make sense of something that is not explainable or predictable.
>No offense, it just sounds wild to me
I know that it sounds crazy to other people, and before I went through it I would have said the same thing. I would have thought it wasn’t possible. The only explanations people can come up with when they hear about this phenomenon are “well, they’re mentally ill/unstable/don’t know themselves” like you posited (I’m not mad, I understand the instinct to chalk it up to that) or “you’re lying/ you just were/are repressing your other side” which again seems like a logical assumption and I’m sure there are some people where this is the explanation, but I know for certain that is not the case for me. There have been times in my life where I’ve tried to force heterosexual attraction and tried to force homosexual attraction, and it never works when I’m in the opposite phase. It seems alien and inconceivable to me no matter how hard I try to “remember” what it was like before. Which is why it leads to what >>379954 says about convincing yourself your past self was just confused and NOW you have it all figured out. It’s that stark of a difference for me.

No. 380402

>>379973
AYRT, you and I are very alike and I'm sorry to hear it. It's not completely binary for me but it might as well be. I'm currently in a jarring in-between state where I am half-heartedly interested in both sexes and I know that very soon I will laser-focus on one and the cycle will repeat itself. It's a paltry comfort when I switch back to being interested only in women - it makes me feel a bit less crazy, and cumulatively I've spent more of my life that way, but it's worthless because I can't indulge myself. I don't want to play with anyone's feelings. Your werewolf comparison is apt, I feel monstrous. I don't want to be single forever but I don't think I have a choice. I could probably muscle through a year of switching sides after settling on a partner, but that's a cruel thing to do to someone you supposedly love, simply tolerating them while lusting after the other sex. It's not their fault I am retarded.
>>380334
I have depression as well, but my life is quite stable and I don't experience mood swings or anything. Outside of my sexuality, I'm very secure in my identity. It feels like one of very few aspects of my life that is totally out of my control, and it's incredibly alienating, so it does kinda feel like a condition of its own. To echo what the other anon said, I think if I wasn't experiencing it I would also think it was bullshit from someone who hasn't done enough soul searching. Unfortunately, I have never been able to soul search my way out of this, even with tremendous effort. I think I have it slightly better than the other anon because with enough effort I can still access a modicum of interest in whichever 'side' I am not on at any given time, but it's a challenge and it makes me feel shallow and dirty. I would get a lobotomy if I thought it would fix me.

No. 380529

>>380334
I have BPD but don't bi cycle at all, or very rarely. I probably leaned more towards men as a child before I realised women were even an option but by the time I was 18 it had pretty much came to a standstill at around kinsey 4 (for context I'm in my late 20s now). Sometimes I feel like the odd one out reading this thread kek

No. 380588

>>380529
Don't worry I don't experience this cycle either, I never want to be with a guy for several reasons and I'm way more attracted to women, but then I'm volcel so I'm definitely the outlier here.

No. 380597

I don't experience bi cycles either. Or maybe I do but I don't call them that word because I think it's unnecessary. Cus to me keeping track when you're attracted to men and when you're attracted to women is like: "Oh this time I had a crush on some brunette, and the previous two times on a redhead! So that makes it 4 redhead crushes, 2 on blondes and one on brunette just now. I thought redheads were my type? Why did I see one recently and wasn't attracted to him/her?" This is an extreme example but it shows how it's a bit ridiculous, isn't it. Some people might like that because it fulfils their desire to label, categorize, make lists etc or maybe to help them know themselves more so I don't think it's a bad concept but it's just pointless. And if you're dating someone and have a crush or feel attraction to other people… Yeah that happens to straight people too. They might find attractive or crush on people while dating someone but just the opposite gender. Happens to gay people as well. Instead of (gender) as a whole doing nothing to them sexually, when they're at that point their boyfriend/girlfriend does nothing to them sexually. And the way they deal with it is consider whether the relationship they're in is fulfilling or not, whether the crush they have is unattainable, etc. So no, I think anons who experience that problem are seeing a simple thing as complicated. Like having a cold and naming it acute viral nasopharyngitis. It sounds really serious now, doesn't it? But no it's just a regular cold and like when people get cold they might experience different symptoms and different intensities than the previous time they got cold (but it's still a cold in the end) a bi cycle is just a regular thing that is worded differently.

No. 380607

>>380597
You simply do not understand it because you don’t experience it. Spare me the condescension and count yourself very lucky.

No. 380616

Some of you just really need to have sex.

No. 380618

>>380616
>you are just repressing yourself
>you must have mental problems
>you’re lying
>you’re just thinking too hard about it
>it’s just because you’re a virgin
I’ve heard it all before. Believe it or not, no amount of patronizing remarks make my reality different. And it seems no amount of articulation will ever make other people stop treating me like either a child or a mental case just because I have a form of sexuality that they can’t conceptualize. Some of you have no fucking idea how painful it is not only to have this type of sexuality, but to be sneered at, insulted, and disbelieved no matter where you go, even by members of your own “community”. Although my unpopular opinion is that I am not really bisexual. I just say I am and use this thread since that’s what everyone else would categorize me as. In real life I say nothing because I know I would be shunned. My fun life.

No. 380718

>>380616
You'd better not be talking about me, Stacy

No. 380819

>>380618
Ntayrt but I’m confused. What’s your sexuality or what anon in this thread are you?

No. 381022

>>380618
Well bisexuality is a wide term with many different experinces, so many of us dont get belived even by other bisexuals.

>just come out as a lesbian you arent fooling anybody

>you are just straight that wants to be speshul
>so you have never been with a woman/man? not real bi
>etc

Yeah it is weird when people doubt something that is very clear to you but let them think what they think.

>>380616
Im trying anon. Im trying.

No. 381161

>>381022
DA to be fair some people do lie about their sexuality for clout, it sucks but that's just the way things are because a lot of people are stupid. It's a shame it leads to so much doubting other people though, and imo it's much more of a thing now for women to pretend to be queer (or trans kek) rather than bi because queer doesn't seem to have any solid definition.

No. 381170

>>380597
>>380616
For serious. It's one of these two or distantly possibly just "you need intense therapy for sexual orientation OCD/HOCD."

No. 381171

>>381170
I was like you too once. hope it happens to you one day and knocks you down a peg or two.

No. 381173

>>381171
It won't dude, I've been normal about my sexuality for over a decade now. Good luck though

No. 381176

>>381173
LOL. If only that meant anything at all. You wouldn’t even know that though, since you have no clue what you’re talking about, and are the type of obnoxious person who uses the phrase “normal about” to mean their subjective, individual life experience.

No. 381242

>>378661
It’s me again. I think this is the last straw for my sanity. They are both so incredibly fucking hot, 10/10+10/10=200% and my brain is overheating like an overclocked computer. I keep having wet dreams where I’m watching them making out, or feeling each other up, and desperately fucking and it’s simultaneously the best and worst way to start my day. I am absolutely a major fucking creep for this but I wish I could be a fly on the wall of their bedroom, they could even squash me after, idc at this point. This is the exact kind of mega pervert fantasy that makes me ashamed to be bisexual, fml

No. 381349

I don't understand why people don't think bisexuality exists. It seems so obvious, bisexual people experience attraction to either gender in different ways. What's to not be real about it and why can't you be believed by some unless you sleep around? It feels like a big fat joke that trannies scream about thousands of made up grievances constantly but people still don't think bisexuality exists.

No. 381404

>>381242
nonette don't be ashamed, you are my fav anon of all time

No. 381452

Nonas, how do I signal to other women that I'm interested in women? I'm pretty feminine and everyone says I look straight, but I don't wanna dress masc and pretend to be something that I'm not. I'm getting desperate enough to consider wearing a bi flag pin kek

No. 381456

>>381452
Approach women you are interested in is the best way. If that is too scary go to lgbt events etc so women who see you there know. Or dating apps can work, I hate using them myself but have actually met some women from there.

No. 381487

How do I hook up with other women as a straight girl. I don't want a relationship with a woman I just want sex. Also im a neet with no friends so idk how to talk to girls

No. 381489

>>381487
>as a straight girl
What am I reading?

No. 381494

>>381487
Tinder, Lex, Feeld, look for straight girls and poly girls, basically anyone with a boyfriend will be very happy to have just sex and no relationship

No. 381501

>>381494
How the fuck are they straight if they want to have sex with women?

No. 381504

>>381503
Retarded how bisexuals in denial post itt…smh

No. 381505

>>381501
Kissing and fucking women for the benefit of men watching/hearing about it is a long-established part of straight female culture kek

No. 381506

>>381504
I'm honestly not super invested in claiming women who only value men as real partners as part of the lgbt community

No. 381508

>>381505
I truly don't understand those women.
>>381506
I don't get why they post in the bi thread if they're so incredibly straight and not attracted to women.

No. 381525

>>381489
>>381501
I know it comes off weird but basically I don't want to date women so I find it hard to consider myself bisexual. I have sex dreams and such about women but I don't want to be in a relationship with a woman. Im single rn and this has nothing to do with any male. I'm just horny

No. 381528

I regret going far to the third base with my male-ex from long time ago after I become misandrist. I know it can't be undone but I feel like I'm tainted forever.

No. 381535

>>381528
Been there. With time, it'll pass and become a distant memory.

No. 381539

>>381525
>>381501
See, I straight up respect this. I'd prefer it if women who are "technically bisexual by definition I guess" all called themselves straight so when I'm dating, I don't need to add a million disclaimers and say "yeah I'm bisexual but not THAT kind of bisexual, I swear." Go get that straight girl pussy.

No. 381549

>>381539
There should be a term for bis like that. Fuckbi maybe, like fuckboy.

No. 381566

I feel so hopeless about finding a gf. i know maybe this sounds shallow, but I honestly could not be with someone who subscribes to trans shit, and pretty much everyone where I live does, especially the gay/bi people. Plus I have about a million other problems. I just wish I had a woman to love but I think realistically I will be alone forever, I'm 25 now and still never has any romantic experiences whatsoever. I feel so alone.

No. 381574

>>381549
Are they not just kinsey 1 bi women? There seem to be way more who lean towards men than other women. I'm kind of the opposite, I love getting male attention and will have sex with them but in terms of a long term relationship I want it to be with a woman.

No. 381603

>>381566
Maybe dont make it into too big of a deal? Like I also wouldnt date a some vocal trans right activist but if she uses trannies preferred pronouns whatever. Most of the time you wont even interact with trans stuff so the issue wouldnt come up?

No. 382617

one of my retarded bisexual fantasies is being in an FFM threesome where I am just the designated clit-rubber for the other woman while she gets fucked by a man. Sort of like, "I know what you need (and he doesn't)".

No. 382639

God Im lonely and horny. Im not even febfem even fucking moids reject me.

No. 382649

>>381539
Unironically this is why I don't care to clown on "microlabels" like heteroflexible etc. Sure, ultimately they are just bisexual, but when it comes to bisexuality I do think we could allow for a little more specificity, as long as all of these labels are still acknowledged as bisexuality manifesting in different ways for different people.

No. 382655

>>381549
Too much hyperspecific terminology is killing us. You don't have a word limit on your tongue. Say "Bisexual but will only date men/women" don't be a neologist about it.

No. 382665

Almost all of the close female friends I've made as an adult have also been bisexual. I didn't even realize this until fairly recently, as they were all dating men and the only way I found out with most of them was if they mentioned being with women before in passing. And I don't mean in a performative "teehee women are so hawt" kind of way, I mean actually dating or having sex with women. Coincidentally, out of all my female friends they have the least tolerance for male bullshit and performing femininity. I know the stereotype for bi girls is that they're obnoxious libfems who won't shut the fuck up about men, but in my experience the straight girls act like that while the bi ones are considerably more chill. It seems like that's the opposite of what most anons ITT experience, however.

No. 382692

>>382665
That’s been my experience too actually, I think the straight women who pretend to be bi are the biggest pickme types, actual bi women are usually less likely to be like that than straight women.

No. 383517

I'm in the weirdest fucking bi-cycle transitory limbo right now where I'm not attracted to men OR women but I am horny and want to be touched. How does this make any fucking sense?

No. 383532

>>382655
Why so serious? Fuckbi is funny.

No. 383550

File: 1709812934211.jpg (4.06 KB, 275x193, 1694590723669.jpg)

ok just deleted my whole post so have to type it out again. I feel miserable right now. I'm in a relationship with a guy who is lovely but I can't stop thinking about how much I want to date women, to the point where I am regularly depressed and crying over it. I'm really wary of ending my relationship over this though because what if this is just a temporary ennui. but I feel like the more I suppress this side of myself the more intense it becomes. I have to think about women in order to get off. I only ever look at women in a sexual way (I've usually been more attracted to men in a romantic way) and having sex at the moment with my partner feels like a chore. this is all insanely selfish and self pitying but I really feel helpless. half of my friends say to end it but the other half have cautioned me because the dating pool is so abhorrent. I won't be dating for a while because I need time to process and recover but am I making a huge mistake here?

No. 383583

>>383550
Have you dated women before? The feeling will not go away, especially if you have not been in a relationship with a woman before. I think breaking up and exploring that part of yourself is something you have to do for your peace of mind. Be honest to a potential partner about your situation though, not every woman interested in women wants to be a "test subject" so to say (again if you have not been with a woman before).

No. 383600

my cycle just flipped again after 1.5 years of only liking women and now I’m already considering “maybe I was confused and I was actually straight the whole time”. This is torture on its own, but then take into consideration that being into women made me so happy and confident, and being into men is nothing but pain and disappointment… I’m extremely depressed. I just want to go back. I don’t know how long I will have to wait for it to flip again. I despise living like this. It’s not normal and it’s not sustainable and I would do anything to get it to stop once and for all. I would literally sacrifice a leg. I’m not kidding. God, if you exist, do you want my leg? Please, take my leg and give me a normal sexuality.

No. 383694

>>383600
samefag but I just remembered, I tried to get therapy for this, and the therapist said my struggles sounded like…. being trans. Literally fucking how. HOW? Like I clearly need therapy for this but it seems like no therapist is actually equipped to deal with this, they just turn into complete idiots. So what am I supposed to do? This is actually ruining my life and I have nowhere to go because no one understands.

No. 383749

>>380334
I don't, but for me "bi-cycling" has always just felt like naturally preferring one over the other and not as extreme as whatever those anons are going through so idk kek.

No. 383760

>>383583
only for brief periods, but I was quite young at the time and feel totally different now. back then I didn't feel like I could be romantically involved with a woman but now I really want to be. I just don't know how tf I'm supposed to say that to him without seriously hurting him

No. 383975

>>383760
I dont know if you can break up without hurting someone, unless he was never into you to begin with. Maybe best way is to just be honest.

No. 384704

File: 1710262458375.jpg (43.78 KB, 552x552, 1660703344264.jpg)

So I'm 29 and have never had a relationship with or even been on a date with a man. Kissing/sex/online stuff yes and I've had girlfriends but for a long time I've felt alienated from other bi women cause of this experience/lack of experience. Between daddy issues (predictable I know) and a BPD diagnosis and awful self esteem I've never actively searched for a bf but rather believed the best I could hope for was hookups and maybe as a result I've never had any sexual contact with a man who didn't treat me like a hole, online or offline. It's not the same with women at all but I haven't pursued them for a while because unlike men I feel afraid of their rejection. I prefer women (I'd say I'm at least Kinsey 4) but now more than ever feel envy towards women who have had "the boyfriend experience", I wonder where they find these men who treat them with even the smallest bit of respect and it's making me depressed. I know I want to end up with a woman but just once I want to experience being treated or even loved by a man so I can know what it's like and be able to say I've checked that box and not feel so out of place among other women. Dunno what my main point is really but any advice from nonnas would be appreciated. To complicate matters I'm trying to recover from a long term ED and have no sex drive and chronic exhaustion which makes dating and sex… close to impossible to say the least. I hope my 30s are kinder to me. I want to feel loved again!

No. 384712

>>384704
>I've never actively searched for a bf but rather believed the best I could hope for was hookups and maybe as a result I've never had any sexual contact with a man who didn't treat me like a hole,

Nonna that's all there is. All relationships with men are based on sex. Sure the "bluepilled" or Nigel ones add extra steps to it and feed into your romance fantasy, but rest assured they'd drop you so fast if you got sick or couldn't have sex.

No. 384729

>>384712
note that even if he doesn't drop you after you get sick that the chances of resentment/contempt are super high. a lot of these women have manic/euphoric episodes in spite of being treated like shit because they feel relieved their male didn't leave them.
>>384704
if it helps what you're describing isn't being loved by a man kek, it's being lusted after. almost no woman has ever been truly loved by a man. being a bi woman that has never been with a man isn't the loss you think it is considering how it's a major controversy in the community that most bi women are male-centered and will end up with a man.

No. 384736

>>384712
Sad and true. The number of men willing to enter a sexless relationship is non existent, unless he’s genuinely asexual somehow which is incredibly rare, or has a cuck fetish.

No. 384745

>>384704
It is actually very rare to find the nigel who isnt with you just for sex or status. As someone with daddy issues, having bfs have only made them worse. They acted like I was never good enough. What helped them has actually been older male coworkers acting caring towards me. Yes, they probably had sexual motivations but werent dumb enough to pursue them so it fooled my brain enough.

No. 384851

>>384712
Can confirm, my ex who claimed to love me more than anything cancelled our engagement because I got a chronic illness and couldn't give him sex.

No. 385010

File: 1710386735064.jpg (48.64 KB, 490x400, 90420.jpg)

>>384851
I'm >>384704 and this happened to me with two men I was messaging pretty often when I first got unwell, when they realised my pussy wasn't forthcoming the contact dwindled. But they both also went silent at different points when they got gfs and started messaging me again when they broke up. Tbh it made me feel jealous of their gfs and like I wasn't good enough to be taken seriously by a man, but I also wondered if they ever shared their weird fetishes with their girlfriends or if they just reserved them for no strings women like me. I thought about posting this somewhere else but find most online bi groups like Facebook Reddit (ha ha) etc to have a lot of women who get extremely defensive over having male partners and sometimes seem to go out of their way to get offended and accuse other women of biphobia… which just adds to the alienating feeling. Pic not really related, I just think it's neat.

No. 385031

>>385010
>when they realised my pussy wasn't forthcoming the contact dwindled.
I've never even been romantically involved with a man (yes sad 25 year old virgin kek) but this has happened to me so many times I've decided I won't even entertain the idea of having a relationship with a moid. Having been a tomboy as a child, I would hang out with boys a lot and had many guy friends I didn't even think of as potential partners, and then as I grew older I tried to socialize with men as friends because apparently I was retarded and thought men could be decent people. Fucking nope, as soon as they realized I wasn't interested in becoming their mommy-gf they dropped me. Finding out a guy only wanted to get in my pants feels so disgusting every time I've basically stopped befriending men because of this. It's wild to me because I could never imagine abandoning a friend because she didn't reciprocate my interest, why would I do that if I care about her? (The answer is guys don't care, obv.) Okay I did once distance myself from a girl I had a crush on but that was partially subconscious because I was a teenager and didn't want to admit to myself I was bi, whoops.

Btw I've forgotten what era those hair styles are in picrel but I've always found them cute.

No. 385969

File: 1710763775039.jpg (18.41 KB, 320x320, 5583639b82c7facbcf1114ac91327c…)

I'm curious about what's your type of women, bi anons. What personality traits or hobbies/interests attract you the most? Do you have any preferences in terms of fashion style? Are you looking for someone with a similar temperament or do you think a bit of contrast would make a better relationship?

No. 385980

>>385978
Kek I know right. Bi women love to cry and moan about how lesbians don’t like them and in the same breath make posts like that. Gee I wonder why a lesbian wouldn’t want to be involved with someone like that? Bisluts need to stay amongst themselves in their little penis loving circles and leave lesbians alone.(lost retard)

No. 385982

>>385969
My dream is to have femme girlfriend who loves gardening and gaming. Our typical afternoon is I eat her out on the couch and then we go to Sephora or buy lavender scented candles or something. Then at the end of the day we cook some new recipe together and drink wine, followed by taking turns playing The last of us.


Sorry for being cringe.

No. 386018

>>385969
I usually seem to end up with outgoing and bubbly women because I'm shy and awful at making the first move kek. no preference on personal style but it would be cool if she cares about clothes in some way even if we have polar opposite aesthetics, fashion is one of my main hobbies. Maybe someone more adventurous/extroverted than me to get me out of the house would be fun, but I'd also love to date a fellow introverted creative type especially if she's got nerdy hobbies. Both have their positives imo. physically I don't care as long as she's shorter than me and maybe slightly chubby/curvy… despite being tall and twig shaped myself I really like soft thighs and breasts

No. 386032

>>385982
It's not cringe nonny it's adorable
>>386018
I agree completely on the fashion part, I wish I'd find a girl who has her own personal style and isn't afraid to wear what she likes and is somehow interested in fashion overall. I'm not into makeup at all though.

No. 386039

>>385969
Having a similar dumb sense of humour and at least some shared interests would be good. Women who are more energic and talkative have contrasted me being more calm and relaxed. I like natural looks more than make up, fake nails and lashes etc.

No. 386040

>>386039
Also I know they are made fun all the time but like "one of the guys" type of women. Not ones that put down other women but actually have more masculine interests, maybe a bit socially awkward and blunt, darker sense of humor.

No. 386044

>>385969
>What personality traits or hobbies/interests attract you the most?
i want a girlfriend with an artistic hobby. i love it when the hobby is a practical skill too like sewing and crafting. i would really like it if her hobbies differed from mine because i would like her to teach me new things and vice versa. i really like girls with friendly personalities because they make me comfortable being myself.
>Do you have any preferences in terms of fashion style?
i don’t care much about fashion. i think alot about having a girlfriend with a cutesy pink style so we can contrast like my melody and kuromi KEK cliche but cute. i also really like women with short hair whether feminine or gnc
>Are you looking for someone with a similar temperament or do you think a bit of contrast would make a better relationship?
i would like someone who’s different to me but still takes the time to understand me. i think dating someone with a similar personality to me wouldn’t work out because i’m so shy and withdrawn. there would be some communication issues definitely

No. 386143

>>385969
I love girls with long dark hair and who are more on the slim side but that's not something I'm particularly fussed about overall, as long as I'm physically attracted to her. Preferably a mix of tomboyish traits and feminine ones, maybe a more casual tomboyish dress sense. Taller than me would be preferable, more dominant too. Someone who likes some kind of sport or some form of working out, and who eats healthily. I'd love someone I can play video games with and look at vintage fashion magazines with, someone who's into skincare and has similar music taste to me, preferably an animal lover so we can get a pet. Most importantly just someone who I can talk to for hours

No. 386144

>>385969
>personality, hobbies/interests
I'd probably get along with a woman who's similar to me in terms of personality, I'm not very social and enjoy being at home or going to museums and other peaceful places, so I wouldn't get along with someone who likes to party and spend time in big groups. I like to ramble about my interests (everything from science to literature to opera, pretty highbrow shit but I'm not elitist about it) so it would be cool if we had at least one interest in common so that we could share it.
>fashion style
I'm big into vintage men's fashion lmao, I have several men's suits from the 1920s/1930s and it would be kinda neat if she would also be into vintage fashion, men's or women's whatever. On the daily I wear maximally practical clothes that likely come off as masculine or androgynous and don't care too much about fashion. I feel like it would be such a hassle dating someone who's super obsessed with makeup and nails and such, or at least she'd have to be fine with me having zero interest in any of that. More androgynous women are my type anyway.
>temperament
Probably someone who is similar to me since I'm quite blunt. I get angry quickly but I can also calm down in just a few minutes, I couldn't stand someone dragging up the same conflict for days. Okay kek this is making me feel like such a narcissistic shit because essentially my type is me, too bad I can't clone myself.

No. 386224

>>386044
>i think dating someone with a similar personality to me wouldn’t work out because i’m so shy and withdrawn. there would be some communication issues definitely
That got me thinking, because I am reserved yet very open to confrontation if I discuss topics I care about. Sometimes I think a woman with a similar personality like mine would be the best option but I think we would also have communication issues like you mentioned, just of a different kind. Like anon said >>386144 sometimes I wonder if dating a woman who has a lot in common with me would be ideal. Someone who hasn't my exact taste in things but at least who's into the same wide area of interests as I am.
>>386143
>I love girls with long dark hair
>Most importantly just someone who I can talk to for hours
Amen

No. 386404

Any tips for using dating apps? Any good or bad stories you'd like to share? I've checked my area a couple of times with profiles I've already deleted and the amount of men and gendies I've found is truly overwhelming.

No. 386406

>>386404
Tbh if you’re into GNC women I don’t think you’re going to really be able to find anyone non-gendie for at least the next 5-10 years or so. I just hope it eventually ends so I can have a gf one day. I’m just not into feminine women so I’m dying on the androgynous woman hill.

No. 386411

>>386406
Alright, that's depressing because I do want to meet other GNC women. I also saw a couple of butches but they were younger than me and they both dressed like 2000s cholos, which unfortunately is not my type. Where else could I find single women in my city? Gay bars in near cities are for gen X and mostly dominated by gay men.

No. 386450

>>377235
No I don't think so. The only lesbians I'm attracted to are real ones so many platinum, most gold and some silver stars are lesbians. Although, you have to be careful as there's many fakebians that claim to be goldstars. Even if they only slept with women, they usually will say or do something only some bisexual women say or do. This doesn't mean I'm not attracted to bisexual women; I'm attracted to bisexuals who are febfems or more attracted to the same sex.

No. 386471

>>386406
Don't be an idiot. There are still regular GNC women around. They're lower in numbers, but not impossible to find, especially if you're older or your tastes run older.

>>386404
Initiate conversations with genuine questions or openers. And I mean initiate them, most women are quite passive and won't message first. Try to organise an IRL meetup ASAP if you find someone you like. People can and will just let conversations stay online forever.

No. 386489

>>386450
>Even if they only slept with women, they usually will say or do something only some bisexual women say or do
Care to elaborate on this? I get what you mean though, for me when a woman spends a lot of headspace on men (even if it's just hate) it definitely sounds like she might be bi instead of lez. But I'm curious what other behaviors tip you off on this.

No. 386493

>>386489
Sure! I'll state some of the behaviors is finding a celebrity attractive, like saying they're a celebrity crush, calling them hot, masturbating to porn with men in it can be straight or gay, stating they'll go straight for somebody of the opposite sex and say they'd date a dude despite telling me your a goldstar lesbian like tf? A lot of these examples I've seen and heard multiple times from fakebians. Also obsessive about men. Like damn I prefer the same sex but even when I have moments of finding like barely any man attractive (I have like 6 celebrity man attractive) I don't get obsessive like that.

No. 386494

>>386493
>finding a celebrity attractive
wat? hasn't literally everyone on earth other than blind people found at least one celebrity attractive? kek

No. 386496

>>386493
Yeah sounds about right. Even I don't get obsessed with any males I find attractive so it's weird to see some "lesbians" go all out for them

>>386494
I think there is a difference between finding good looking people objectively attractive, and actually feeling attraction to them. Like there are both men and women out there that are good looking, I can acknowledge this yet not actually feel attraction to them. Personally I don't think much if for example a male or lesbian friend point out that some dude is handsome, but if they were to start acting like they are crushing on him then I would invalidate their sexuality in my mind…

No. 386503

>>386496
You didn’t specify male celebrity, anon.

No. 386505

>>386494
Sorry I meant if the so called "lesbian" found a male celebrity hot.
>>386496
Yeah I agree. I looked at one fakebian weird years ago because she called younger version of Joe biden hot. Like I've seen him when he was in his 20's and 30's and while he is handsome I wouldn't call him hot kek. She nowadays calls herself pansexual and shares posts about being in "straight passing relationships" kek

No. 386580

>>386505
Going het for Joe Biden is hands down one of the worst I've heard of.

No. 386601

>>386580
Yep I was like wtf.jpeg when I heard that come out of her mouth years ago. That woman is also batshit insane; she'll find reasons to hate somebody like an old friend from high school was her target b/c her stepdad made her quit an after school activity we were all in. And another old friend from high school was her target 3 years before that because she dated her ex bf (before she claimed to be a fakebian). My fakebian ex claimed Liam Hemsworth was her celebrity crush. Like why are you trying to tell me you're a gold star lesbian when you find a male celebrity hot?

Next time, I'm vetting any woman who claims to be a lesbian.if she claims goldstar or platinum star and says some bi shit or claims to be a lesbian and had sex with dudes multiple times it's a nope for me.

Also sad I have to vet other bisexual women too considering the bihets married to men wanting threesomes.

No. 386602

I fully understand les4les and feb4feb and les4feb/feb4les but refusing to date women who are open to dating men while being open to dating men yourself is weird and hypocritical. Sure anyone has their boundaries and can refuse to date anyone for any reason, it's just quite weird to be more okay with being with actual men than with other women who are okay with dating men as well. Actually reeks of misogynistic purity culture double standards, women who fucked men are "tainted" but the men themselves somehow are fine.

No. 386624

>>386602
Most of the women posting like this are only engaging in relationships with women in their heads anyway. They're all saying they're attracted to women like that and not talking about anyone they've actually dated or fucked.

No. 386625

>>386601
I just hold any woman I'm attracted to to the same standard. I don't care if she's pretending to be a lesbian or an out bi, if she openly lusts for any kind of male while in a relationship with me then I will NOPE out of there.

No. 386626

>>386602
In my case I just want to save myself from the emotional damage of getting cheated on with a man. I know for sure that I won't cheat with anyone while in a relationship, but I cannot read my partner's mind. I will just not date any woman that constantly talks about her male crushes. I don't have male crushes myself so I consider this to be fair because I won't subject another woman to that torture.

No. 386629

>>386626
You have all the right to date or not to date anyone you want, but isn’t it awful to always suspect your partner will cheat on you the moment you aren’t paying attention? Also being a lesbian doesn’t make someone not magically be unable to cheat btw.

No. 386631

>>386629
It simply boils down to not wanting to be cheated on with a man. If my partner were to cheat I would rather she do it with a woman. Yes it would still hurt, but being cheated on with a man would make me spiral harder. And no, I'm not constantly fantasizing of my girlfriend cheating on me, it's just a mental doomer scenario I sometimes think about.

No. 386632

>>386626
Surely that then applies to anyone dating you though? How are they meant to trust that you're not just saying you won't go find a man if that's the attitude you have towards other bi women?

I similarly refused to date male-centred women, so it's not a matter of me disagreeing with that, I just find male celebrities to be a fascinating e-poisoned benchmark for real/fake committed exclusion of men in someone's dating life.

No. 386638

>>386632
>Surely that then applies to anyone dating you though? How are they meant to trust that you're not just saying you won't go find a man if that's the attitude you have towards other bi women?
I don't understand this question. If my behavior is a redflag to another woman then she's free to look somewhere else. It's not like I can force her to be with me anyway lol

>I just find male celebrities to be a fascinating e-poisoned benchmark for real/fake committed exclusion of men in someone's dating life

It's highly uncomfortable for me to listen to a partner constantly lusting after men. I don't care if he's a celeb, a drawing or someone local to her. I don't think this is something you should do when in a relationship with someone anyway. I also don't comment on any man or woman I find attractive, because I acknowledge my partner could feel hurt by that.

No. 386673

>>386638
So I'm not feb4feb but more like woman leaning bi4bi but I get what people mean when they say stuff like >>386631 and agree completely. It would hurt me more to be left for a man because we already exist in a heteronormative/homophobic world and are taught either directly or indirectly that relationships between two women are inherently lesser and don't matter as much, I don't think this should be hard for other SSA women to understand or offensive in any way.

No. 386753

How do you "justify" being f4f to your family? They're fine with the idea of me dating women, but that's probably because I'm not seeking anyone at the moment, and being bi there's always the possibility that I'll end up with a man. I know I don't have to explain myself, but at some point they'll just ask if I'm not actually a lesbian when I just can't stand men and their bullshit but that will probably only get me labeled immature and I'll hear the classic "you just haven't met the right man yet" kek.

No. 386755

I’m probably going to date a man after I had a girlfriend and I deserve to die for it tbh. Posting here to ensure someone will affirm these negative feelings.
My existence is so political. Wish I could just be an animal without feeling the weight of minor responsibility for public opinion about people of my various minority groups.

No. 386757

>>386673
Since you're not feb it means at least in theory you are open to dating moids, would you find it more hurtful if your potential nigel cheated on you with a woman vs another moid?

No. 386758

>>386755
Girl just date who you want. Get off the internet if some shut-in SJWs REEEEEing at bi women dating men makes you upset. I'm bi and dating a man and the jokes are kind of funny to me lol. It's literally not that important.

No. 386765

>>386753
I don't have an answer but not long ago I read a post where some anon was asking the same: when do I come out? And the answer a nona gave her was when you have a gf. Imo you don't have to justify your dating choices to anyone in your family, if someone is truly curiousabout it and asks just be honest but I don't think this is something you need to make an announcement for.

No. 386777

>>386765
Ayrt, my family knows I'm bisexual, I'm just inexperienced. I just think it's annoying that they probably expect me to end up with a man or even just date them, and will accuse me of having been sexually confused or even lying to them when I end up dating zero men kek. If I tell them it's because I hate men despite my attraction to them it will probably be "you have been online too much" or some other bullshit. You're right in that I don't have to justify my dating choices to anyone, though, I just can't help it.

No. 386784

File: 1711135256256.jpg (482.75 KB, 1079x1058, 1682135950793768.jpg)

>>386755
ignore the straights and gays mad at you for being a G and dating who you want, they jealous because they ain't us

No. 386789

>>386755
This shit makes no sense to me, like once a bisexual woman dates a woman she's never allowed to date a man again because zomg you're going back to men you're CHOOSING A MAN!! Do people not fucking know what bisexual is? Date whoever you want as long as they treat you well.

No. 386802

>>386753
Literally don't ever explain or try to justify shit to anyone. Am I the only one who thinks this is a power move?
>dating a woman
>"Honey, why haven't you dated a man lately if you're bi?"
>"I'm bi"
>"Are you sure you're not a lesbian?"
>"Yep. Bi"
>"But what kind of division between male and female interest…"
>"I'm bi. That's all you need to know"
>"But isn't that kind of immature? Dating only women?"
>"If you say so. I disagree"
>"What if you haven't met the right man yet?"
>"Who says I wouldn't date a man if he was right for me? I'm bi." [this can be a lie]
>Conversation thoroughly won

No. 386831

I have a broken sexuality. I only like women with masculine faces and men with feminine faces, both are rare and the former either overcompensates with extra girly style or troons out (both unattractive to me), and the latter hits the wall by 24 like leonardo dicaprio. I genuinely don't have an ounce of attraction towards feminine women and masculine men, which are like 98% of the population. I don't think I'll ever find anyone irl because of this. It's like I was born with a faulty switch in my brain that created a flipped sexual attraction with the wrong characteristics mapped onto the wrong sex.

No. 386858

>>386757
I don’t think about dating men that much because my ideal partners are women. Men are more like occasional hookups or FWB. It doesn’t change my point about feelings of isolation and anxiety in a society that revolves around M/F relationships, don’t get your knickers in a twist.

No. 386863

>>386802
That dialogue is perfect, the "I'm bi" comebacks make me chuckle as they are repeated

No. 386869

>>386831
I'm the same. I honestly think this isn't so uncommon with bi women, but it does make me feel a bit like a misfit sometimes.

No. 386903

File: 1711202602231.jpg (200.5 KB, 1200x1500, Florence_And_The_Machine_Credi…)

>>386831
It's not a broken sexuality anon, that sounds a little bit dramatic, it's just your personal preference, which happens to be uncommon. I dislike women and men with neotenous faces and prefer more mature and angular traits in both, but I wouldn't describe that as masculine to refer to women. I'm a bit tired of people interchangeably using femenine and neotenous.
>feminine women and masculine men, which are like 98% of the population
I'm really not sure about this, unless you're speaking about personal style, in which case yes. But most women can look very ''androgynous'' (to me this mean balanced, natural, not hyperfemenine) with just a bare face and simple clothes.
> a flipped sexual attraction with the wrong characteristics mapped onto the wrong sex
Do you find more attractive taller women with rectangular torsos, bigger shoulders and bigger hands/feet? Short men with a more typically female fat distribuition? Or do you just mind about faces?

No. 386912

>>386831
I'm like that too. I find people who conform to gender roles boring. but my problem is that feminine men are gay or huge sluts who will never settle down with anyone. and the muscular women I'm attracted to like female wrestles are almost always straight too with husbands.

No. 386928

It’s a little thing, but I just had a phone call with a older bisexual relative of mine who knows I am bi. Whenever she asks me about my love life she goes, “so do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?” Neither of us really talk to our family about our sexualities since it’s none of their business, especially since she’s been married to a man with kids and is mostly perceived as straight by those around us, but I remember being a teen having a long heart to heart with her about being bisexual and us bonding over it. It feels nice to not have someone in my life who doesn’t make a big deal about it, nor shame me for it. I remember her telling me about some of her past girlfriends and stuff. It’s nice.

No. 386929

>>386928
That's so nice anon, I wish I had an older relative with whom I had a secret bond like that.

No. 387402

File: 1711390573867.jpeg (158.54 KB, 1090x621, 57354AB8-7D06-49F9-9DEB-939DAD…)

I’m just a straight woman who daydreams about the pussy of another woman. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be a straight woman and get obsessed with pussy for a while years. Picrel, what you see if you look into my brain

No. 387409

>>387402
Kek I used to do the most retarded mental olympics to assure myself Im straight. It is easier to just accept yourself.

No. 387526

nonnitas with experience dating women, where did you meet them? I have no interest in gay clubs because I don't drink or do drugs, and the dating apps are full of absolute wackjobs. I want to meet someone organically but fuck it seems so much more difficult.

No. 387532

>>387526
Do you have any lgbt meetings/clubs in your area? I know a lot of them are taken over by woke shit but maybe still worth a try.

No. 387561

>>386831
I don’t think this is odd, in fact I think this is most bisexual people’s type. In my experience the best options are non-committal casual gendies who haven’t actually transitioned and don’t make it their personality. Depends on how much of a turn off that is, but people are more flexible than you think and I’ve found it pretty easy to convince them to stop drinking the kool-aid. I agree with the anon who said it’s mostly up to style; women who say this never like broad-shouldered, broad-jawed women, just ones that don’t dress femininely and perhaps have a thin figure that looks more androgynous. As I’ve accepted my sexuality I’ve realised most women are quite handsome; we’re just socialised to style ourselves in way that don’t highlight that (and subconsciously try not to perceive women that way). Feminine men are mostly just skinny, well groomed and have longer hair - the ones with naturally feminine faces usually try to compensate with muscles/beards/ugly haircuts.
I will say it’s not terrible to be picky. All the women I’ve dated have had this sort of style (and I do also, a kind of delicate “masculine”) this is my type and I haven’t had problems. But so long as you put yourself out there knowing what you want isn’t a bad thing and certainly not broken.

No. 387669

Idk if this is the right thread but my brother has recently come out as bisexual but is exclusively dating TIFs and acting like he is "oh so oppressed". I have been out of the closet for more than ten years and all this feels like he's spitting on my face and ridiculing my experience as a bi woman, like he has never dated a man or shown any interest in a man, he just likes to take advantage of confused NLOGs and im supposed to "validate" him? I didn't get or seek any validation when i came out and now i'm a bad person for not thinking a man is bisexual just because he likes mentally ill women? Sorry i'm drunk and just want to vent a bit

No. 387682

>>387669
you are not a bad person for feeling that way. I hate "bisexuals" who just date troons of the opposite sex. like, I really hate it

No. 387683

>>387409
I'm trying, but I'm also trying not to, because half of me says "clearly you're bisexual" and half of me says "No, I'm just crazy and straight, stop thinking you're actually bisexual."
I think the complicating factors that prevent me from coming to terms with bisexuality is the fact that I only awakened to it recently (after 12+ years of being straight) and only because one day I was scrolling and saw a video of one crossdressing woman who i've thought about 24/7 ever since. I really didn't choose to have this happen, I never expected it, I just saw her and it was like I was struck by magic lightning and my brain exploded. I'm absolutely fixated and obsessed in a way that has always felt totally out of my control like i was being dragged through the streets with my pant leg caught in the door of a speeding car.
The way this has happened to me is not a normal bisexual experience, it's more like sudden derangement, and so when I look back at my life like my picrel, it makes so much more sense to chalk this up to a mental episode of some kind, so lately I've been trying to tell myself that even if this is just my brain malfunctioning somehow, it's okay because it's not hurting anyone and I don't have to re-evaluate my entire sexuality just because I have one mental episode. Does this make absolutely any fucking sense. I sometimes feel like farmhands who see my post history must be laughing their asses off at me as i post about loving vagina in one thread and claim to be straight in another thread simultaneously with genuinely no cognitive dissonance. I need to go for a long stay in a psychiatric ward and noooooo around me knows how insane i really am inside which is somewhat maddening
I'm sorry for polluting this thread with unhinged rambling please know that I do know that I'm retarded.

No. 387717

>>387532
I'll look into it! the woke stuff is what would bother me - I don't want to be with someone who makes their sexuality their entire identity kek, but maybe there will be some fairly normie lesbians/bi girls. there's some lgbt speed dating events but that sounds a bit stressful

No. 387773

>>387683
It's okay nonnie, your posting keeps the thread more active kek.
> I've been trying to tell myself that even if this is just my brain malfunctioning somehow, it's okay because it's not hurting anyone and I don't have to re-evaluate my entire sexuality just because I have one mental episode. Does this make absolutely any fucking sense.
Yes, it makes sense. Don't obsess over this too much, allow yourself to feel without judgement, don't overanalyse, just feel. And after a while, some months, a year, do some retrospection. I'm in the same boat as you, although in my case I was choosing to ignore very obvious signs, it wasn't that much of a surprise. I think you should try to meet women and see how things go, that's what I'm trying to do. Irl experiences and interactions are very important to understand your own sexual attraction.

No. 387779

>>387683
Nona I am going to spout some "labels are for soup cans" type shit and I am sorry if it's corny but it very much applies in this situation, don't sweat it. Bisexuality works in so many ways and is so varied and different accross the board. You cannot point to two bisexual women who experience the exact same attraction to men and women. Bicycling is real. What does saying you're crazy and insane do to help you? You're attracted to pussy and that is okay and even though the way you found out is slightly unconventional that doesn't erase the validity of your feelings.

No. 387787

How common is it to not be that interested in penis/penetration as a bisexual? I wouldn't even consider myself a Kinsey 5 really, but then again I've never been with a moid, or a woman either for that matter, but sex with a woman seems a lot more appealing than sex with a male. I'd much rather eat pussy than suck dick, even when I fantasize about males it's mostly about them eating me out or stimulating my clit in other ways, it's not even that I have a low sex drive either.

No. 387810

>>387787
I don’t think liking internal stimulation or not is related to sexuality.

No. 387832

>>387810
I would have said so too but I don't like the idea of sucking dick either while I actually do like the idea of eating pussy or geting mine eaten by either a woman or a man. It seems that so many people describe attraction to males in terms of attraction to penis, wanting to get penetrated or perform fellatio, even if it's just for the sake of pleasing a male partner while getting little or no physical pleasure out of it. Sometimes I wonder if I am too autistic or just not attracted to men enough to understand pleasing men for the sake of it, while I do get it when it comes to women. I can't say I'd be downright repulsed by dicks themselves but I do find male genitalia some of the least interesting parts of the male body. That being said, I can only be attracted to TIFs when they look like cute gnc women, the idea of a "man" with a vulva is just bizarre and uncanny to me for some reason.
I know I am quite inexperienced and I would like to at least have sex with another woman at least once in my life, but the idea of sleeping with a man "just to try it / make sure" just feels very wrong to me and I'm afraid it can turn out very badly.

No. 387846

>>387832
I am straight, but I just wanted to reassure you it's completely normal to not like the idea of sucking dick or being penetrated. I am pretty much uninterested in dicks because I want sex to focus around my pleasure and I don't give a shit about pleasing a man. I only like dicks when they are there for the visuals, without the pressure to interact with them. I think a lot of women who don't like dicks associate them with moids' selfish sexuality.

No. 387903

Just thinking about the scourge of comphet and that fucking 'masterdoc' and how so many women are stuck in a cycle of perpetually questioning their sexuality for years and wondering.. is it common in any other part of life for people to act like the person they were two weeks, two months, two years ago was a complete stranger to them? I feel like it should be very easy to say "what is my sexuality? I've been attracted to men, and I've been attracted to women. By that definition, I'm bisexual" and yet when women are tormented by the question of whether they're bisexual or lesbian (straight is never an option dw) it's always "I've had 17 boyfriends but I haven't liked a man in the last five minutes. am I a lesbian now?" It's just so dumb. I don't get it.

No. 387923

>>387903
I think it is also because womens bisexuality is not taken seriosly, and is seen as just a phase or experimenting with sex. So people think that in order to actually date women you need to be a lesbian. And since many osa women settle to moids they are not that attracted to, or who cant please them sexually, they blame their orientation instead of the shit moid. Some straight women might identify as asexual for the same reason.

No. 387967

Questions to the nonas who experience "bicycling":
>How old are you?
>How often do your preferences change?
>Did you experience this changes in attraction as a teenager or were you more stable back then?
>Do you have the same libido in both phases (high, low or normal)?
>Do life events unrelated to your sexual/romantic life trigger your "bicycling"?

No. 387972

>>387923
Womens lesbianism isnt taken seriously either…

No. 387976

>>387967
>How old are you?
Mid 20s
>How often do your preferences change?
infrequently, on a span of years
>Did you experience this changes in attraction as a teenager or were you more stable back then?
Its hard for me to say for sure because it was so long ago but I suspect I actually cycled around 16y/o into an attraction to women, but since I spent the next period pretending that wasn’t real (like always) I can’t say for sure if it was real or not. That’s the problem with this for me is that as soon as I leave a phase I become convinced it wasn’t real so I am never confident about my past. But I guess based on that I should assume it WAS real since it follows my pattern.
>Do you have the same libido in both phases (high, low or normal)?
Exactly the same. I think it’s medium. Although at the start of this past cycle towards women I had a period of a few months where it was extremely and almost debilitatingly high (was losing sleep from fantasizing and masturbating) but that’s an outlier in my whole life
>Do life events unrelated to your sexual/romantic life trigger your "bicycling"?
I don’t think so. I can’t figure out what triggers it. There is no obvious predictor.

No. 388004

>>387923
>>387972
Female sexuality in general is not taken seriously unless it directly benefits moids.

No. 388011

>>387967
>How old are you?
early 20s.
>How often do your preferences change?
every few months, generally.
>Did you experience this change in attraction as a teenager or were you more stable back then?
i was even more unstable as a teenager. at least now, it’s “preference” switching. but when i was younger i’d get a full-blown repulsion to the other sex when i’d cycle.
>Do you have the same libido in both phases (high, low or normal)?
i feel like i “spike” more in libido when i’m in a more male-attracted phase, and it’s more closely linked to my menstrual cycle. when i’m more attracted to women, it’s a lot more consistent and even, if that makes any sense.
>Do life events unrelated to your sexual/romantic life trigger your "bicycling"?
sometimes. i’ve got some (non-sexual) past trauma that, whenever it flares up, i tend to cycle. it’s strange.

No. 388434

>>387976
>Its hard for me to say for sure because it was so long ago but I suspect I actually cycled around 16y/o into an attraction to women, but since I spent the next period pretending that wasn’t real (like always) I can’t say for sure if it was real or not. That’s the problem with this for me is that as soon as I leave a phase I become convinced it wasn’t real so I am never confident about my past. But I guess based on that I should assume it WAS real since it follows my pattern.
That's very interesting. What is something you think would give you some reassurance in this aspect? Would being in two different long-term relationships (one with a woman and one with a man) be something that would make you think of your sexual attraction as more consolidated? Is the lack of formal dating something that contributes to your insecurity in terms of sexual attraction? Or have you already experienced long relationships with both sexes? You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, anon. Thanks for your other replies
>>388011
>bi was even more unstable as a teenager. at least now, it’s “preference” switching. but when i was younger i’d get a full-blown repulsion to the other sex when i’d cycle.
Did that change gradually or did it occur in a short period of time after some type of personal event? If I may ask, thanks for replying

No. 388457

File: 1711914962243.gif (1.95 MB, 800x520, tumblr_6ec09def3f00f158deeed1d…)

Can I ask bisexual nonnies who are with men a question? Why would you date a man if you had a attraction to women? Personally if I was attracted to both I would exclusively date women because men are so fucking awful. I don't know why anyone would do it willingly. Being with a man makes me feel constantly insecure and suspicious. Even if they are nice. With a woman I feel like the love would be more likely to be real and not just coom based.

No. 388469

>>388457
a much larger dating pool. sometimes it feels like there is 5 SSA single women who would date a bisexual in my town. Meanwhile you can walk outside and single straight moids are everywhere. You said you constantly feel insecure and suspicious with men, while I very much understand why and you have good reason to feel that way most women don't.

No. 388476

>>388457
Much larger dating pool. Have to actively cultivate your hatred of men to resist because it's so easy, basically. Then you start to feel crazy like you're just a fake bisexual or something and not being natural about it. Mindfuck.

No. 388477

>>388457
Most men are shit, but also dating pool for ssa women is small. I actively only date women, but if I happened to meet a rare good Nigel I would be with him. Not that Im popular with either sex. Only people that seem to be attracted to me are sleazy 45+ year old scrotes kek.

No. 388491

>>388457
I just fell in love with a guy after years of dating women, idk

No. 388502

>>388457
Not with a man, but SSA women now are insane gendies. I don't feel like walking on eggshells. I just can't in good faith entertain a serious relationship.
I'm in a homophobic country and I can't for the life of me find a "normal" gay person anymore, it feels like people use the label to signal their political standing and I have to know every small detail about Western queer/gay culture to even form relationships.

No. 388503

>>387409
That's why I like the term bicurious or questioning, whish it didn't fall out of fashion

No. 388511

>>388434
>Did that change gradually or did it occur in a short period of time after some type of personal event? If I may ask, thanks for replying
i don’t mind answering at all. if you’re asking about how quick the cycling was, the switches would be rapid enough that i’d spend a few months fully convinced that i was straight, and then for whatever reason i’d switch and end up absolutely confident that i was a lesbian. and as said, sometimes personal trauma would trigger a switch, or a depressive episode, but oftentimes it’d just… happen. it made it a lot weirder and a lot more difficult to even realize that i was bi, since i almost never felt attracted to both men and women at the same time.

No. 388708

>>388457
I think the mostly unspoken truth here is that the majority of bi women prefer men either a little or a lot. From experience it seems rarer for us to lean more towards women, I imagine it's partly biological and partly the society we live in.

No. 388713

File: 1712034237161.jpg (107.83 KB, 700x700, 8315061de0e1545b68143a7558a9a1…)

I usually don't pay attention to sexuality (bi/les) discourse online because I know it doesn't matter IRL most of the time, but sometimes people take it to the extreme and it can bother me. A few days ago I literally saw people calling bisexual women predators and rapists. I don't know why we have to be subjected to such stupidity

No. 388734

>>388457
Not dating a man but open to both right now
Honestly my taste in people is just kind of bad so I'm equally at risk with everyone. Regardless of sex I encounter the same issues in relationships. Yes, I am working on this.

No. 388837

>>388457
I'm not actively dating either right now, but I want to date women more. Since I live in a homophobic country too, there aren't many ssa women and there are many repercussions for dating the same sex and I'm pretty much still in the closet.

>>388502
>it feels like people use the label to signal their political standing and I have to know every small detail about Western queer/gay culture to even form relationships.
Yes, a lot of them are chronically online. Can't blame them though, the queer side of TikTok and Twitter is the only safe space they have in these countries. Although, like you said, you walk on eggshells with these types and it gets tiring after a while.

No. 388932

>>388713
A lot of it is projection and jealousy. I've noticed many young women on Tumblr without much control over their IRL situation redirecting their hate to random bisexual women. I did a deep dive into this girl's blog after seeing her reblog a post with unprompted commentary on bisexual women and she was an early 20s lesbian from a homophobic home who had never dated or had sex. Same situation for others in the notes of the same post.

The normal ones don't actually care and it's good to remind yourself that the ones raging online probably have a mountain of their own unresolved issues.

No. 388937

>>388457
homophobia

No. 388940

>>388708
Female-leaning bisexual women are actually more likely to mislabel themselves as lesbians

No. 388984

>>388708
Interesting how both male and female bisexuals just happen to prefer the smellier, unnatractive sex that is statistically very likely to be a horrible partner. And then they have the nerve to act like persecuted incels when lesbians and straight women refuse to date them.
And before you ban me I'm bi too and I'm allowed to vent about our shitty community.
Hearing bifags go on and on about how they prefer males when women are more beautiful and better people makes me feel worthless as a woman and also it makes me wish bisexuality didn't exist.(baiting)

No. 388985

File: 1712167513126.jpeg (11.39 KB, 225x225, 535EBC65-B11D-4701-AB62-C8C01C…)


No. 388986

File: 1712167868485.jpg (26.75 KB, 372x394, jbsvvcpwl8p91.jpg)

>>388713
I feel this just remember that it's 90% online only. I usually don't tell people I'm bi especially when I'm dating a male but last time I "came out" (at my last job, to a bunch of other gay/bi people) nobody gave me shit for it, they even invited me to go to the pride parade with them kek. I think it's easy to fear becoming the spicy straight bihet, and I know a couple irl, but most people do not care. I think part of it is jealousy at our larger dating pool tbh

No. 389166

File: 1712265088572.png (24.11 KB, 840x434, ionlyhatebisexuals.png)

>>388713
I found this lurking in the L chat, it seems pretty reasonable, if this is the kind of thing that bothers lesbians they have all the right to complain. I'm not worried about it myself and probably neither should you. It seems like, since lesbians have a much smaller dating pool than straight and bi women, some eventually end up briefly dating bottom of the barrell bi women (most of which might not even be bi). The kind of woman described in this list sounds like a nightmare and I'm sure there are many obvious redflags any SSA woman can look for before pursuing a serious relationship with a woman who might end up acting like this.

No. 389175

>>389166
I'm genuinely not trying to be rude but I'm not sure what that post by a random L chat user has to do with mine, and I find it pretty annoying that whenever someone uses this thread to vent about weird hate towards bisexual women there's always someone like "well I don't care about people hating bisexual women!". Like I said in my post, I don't typically pay much attention to this stuff but sometimes it gets too retarded and this is the thread for bisexual women so I feel that we should be able to vent.

No. 389182

>>389175
Correct me if I'm wrong but your vent was about the exaggerated claims you found on sexuality (bi/les) discourse, arguing that some of those claims went as far as calling be women ''predators and rapists'', right? I agree with you that that's simply absurd and I used the screenshot of the L chat as an example of (imo) valid criticism lesbian women can make of bi women. I'm not sure why do you think my post was out of context.

No. 389184

>>389182
Sorry anon I'm retarded, I agree with you

No. 389185

>>389184
You're not retarded anon, I'm ESL and I'm sure I express myself terribly kek

No. 389195

Wish I was bi must be easier to be into guys but I can't get over the revulsion and the magic isnt there… I dont like their flat hard bodies and moidness. I keep on waiting to turn bi. I've tried masturbating but they're gross even when I'm horny.

No. 389197

>>389195
why are you here, then.

No. 389200

>>389197
Why not, there are bi posters on the lesbian thread too

No. 389215

>>389195
I'm bi and too disgusted by moids to get involved with them after my first and only relationship with one. I always leaned heavily towards women anyways

No. 389241

>>388713
Kek, when I first saw this post I was thinking of posting
>inb4 anon comes to tell how she's totally cool with lesbians hating her because she's so cool and not like the other bis (lesbians pls pick me!)
Lo and behold, it fucking happened already.

No. 389248

>>389241
I am the anon who posted the l chat screencap and I really think we should differentiate between
>Lesbians having unrealistic prejudice against bi women for the simple fact of being bi
>Lesbians reasonably complaining about specific attitudes they found in bi women after dating some
The complaints listed in the picture are not inherent to bi sexuality. I think it's worthy to point out because who wants to live in constant online bi/les tension. It's not pickme wanting to clear the air between us.

No. 389271

I love my boyfriend but I keep having sex dreams about women I know. His brother is seeing a woman who I share a (male) ex with, so I saw her last night and then dreamt about her all last night. In the dream I was already having sex with my best friend that I had a huge crush on in middle school and high school that never got past making out at sleepovers so it was pre-established that I could have sex with women even while dating my boyfriend. I’ve also had dreams about my boyfriend’s ex girlfriend, even tho I’ve only met her a handful of times. I am seriously so torn because I love my boyfriend, he is so good to me but I can’t shake that I’d be happier with a woman. I feel so… sinister that these women hug me when they see me out or whatever with no idea that I’m going home and dreaming about eating them out.

No. 389274

>>389195
don't try to make yourself something youre not. changing sexuality wont work, people tried it and its been proven to be ineffective. we all wish we had life easier. we see rich people and wish we were rich, beautiful and we wish we were beautiful, healthier and we wish we were healthier… unfortunately life sucks, change what you can change and if smth is outside your control try to do the best with what youve got in your hands

No. 389515

>>389271
It doesn't seem like you're still in love with your boyfriend to me, anon. It's okay to lose feelings and still consider someone to be a good person, but being nice is not enough reason to be with somenone, especially if you've lost any sexual attraction towards him and you have new aspirations. I'd say you should figure out what you really want and act accordingly.

No. 389550

I want to have sex with a woman but i'm an old virgin and am a really closed off person. I think the only way I could do it is if I was visiting some other place so I know nobody could ever recognize me beofore or after. thinking about myself having sex with someone is so embarassing, because I know I would be awkward and I have no charisma or looks. I feel like it's never gonna happen because there are too many obstacles I'd have to get through both in my mind and in the world around me. It doesn't help that I have severe sexuality OCD and would definitely overanalyze any encounter I did have until I wanted to kill myself. Finding a man to fuck would be easier but I'm in the women-only phase of my bicycle and am repulsed by them right now. Plus even when I wasn't repulsed by them, I was repulsed by the idea of letting one touch me because I feel like none of them deserve to get laid. So basically I'm a mental trainwreck and will probably die never having touched or been touched. I wish I could enter a dream land sand box experiment world where I could try things out without being scared it will cause me to kill myself later since I'd know none of it was real.

No. 389923

>>389550
I'm a 26 year old virgin, can't say I'm too interested in long term relationships with either sex, but I would like to have sex and shorter term relationships with women. Not men though, I'm perfectly fine with never being with one in my life, and the older I get the less I want to. I can't help but have a chip on my shoulder over people thinking there must be something wrong with me for never having even dated a male at my age despite being attracted to them. I think people tend to be more understanding of women who have never been with women until later in life because the w/w dating pool is so small and homophobia is still rampant so many stay closeted for a long time, but bihet men are literally everywhere so people might think I have "no excuse" for never being with one. Does that actually happen in real life though or is it just an unfounded fear of mine?

No. 390003

DAE have a celebrity crush on a person of the opposite gender to your partner? I think my dumb man, bless his heart, gets jealous of it.

No. 390006

>>390003
ewww(bait)

No. 390067

>>389550
Anon I understand that you're hopeless about intimacy but is a one night stand really the best option? If you really crave for sex I think you should try to meet someone you really like who you can connect with. It's never too late for that, although it my take you months or even years. You don't have to open up and force yourself to act like an extrovert but maybe you'll earn some interesting social experience from brief and harmless interactions. Dating apps can help with that a lot.
>thinking about myself having sex with someone is so embarassing, because I know I would be awkward and I have no charisma or looks.
If you were to have sex or just consider that possibility with someone you like (someone you've began a firendship with and who you've already been to a couple of dates) you would already know that there's something about you that woman likes, otherwise you two wouln't have gotten to know each other more. But if you put yourself in the arms of a total stranger, unless both felt an immediate intense attraction, it's probably going to be awkward anyways, not because of you.
> I feel like it's never gonna happen because there are too many obstacles I'd have to get through both in my mind and in the world around me.
What kind of obstacles? Complexes related you your appearance or your lack of skills? Cultural taboos? I undertstand that it's hard to get over those but it will be so much easier if you find someone you really like and she reciprocates.
>It doesn't help that I have severe sexuality OCD and would definitely overanalyze any encounter I did have until I wanted to kill myself.
Are you actively trying to overcome your OCD? I think this is the kind of issue you should adress before considering meeting someone, because like you said it's going to be triggered if you make any progress. Don't expect to get this fixed after losing your virginity (I know you didn't implied that anywhere) but also allow yourself to reach a certain progress about your sexual OCD, even if it's small. I hope my advice doesn't suck too much. I am a very insecure person myself but I'm trying fix my mindset because when I'll meet a woman I really like I don't want her to notice how pessimistic and self-conscious I am, that's such a turn-off.

No. 390087


No. 390094

>>390087
Probably the same retard who sperged out about bisexuals talking about fantasizing about the opposite sex of their partners a while back calling us all whores like a bright red middle aged man. I reported but farmhands don’t seem to want to moderate this thread.

No. 390166

>>390006
If bisexuality grosses you out so much you can hit the little minus next to the OP and hide this thread.
Idgi, why do people have such a hard time understanding that you can like both?

No. 390189

>>387787
I mean that sounds pretty normal to me. i'm the same way too (except I do enjoy giving and receiving oral). I hate penetration and actively seek out male partners that wouldnt mind never having that kind of sex with me (they're usually submissives though).

No. 390193

>>385969
I want a woman that has a go getter attitude, taller than me, slightly extroverted but is well read, tomboyish but not butch. Idk honestly my standards are pretty simple. If I get along with you and you have your shit together I will date you.

No. 390307

Why do lolcow resident lesbians have such vicious hatred towards us? It seems like any time I mention being bisexual on here I get a really nasty reply from a lesbian. They even invade this thread just to shit on us while we’re minding our own business. In the lesbian thread, they refer to bisexual women as a whole as “bisluts” and no one there ever calls it out, I guess cuz they all agree. It feels so uncalled for especially because we don’t use our thread to shit on lesbians and we don’t call them names or say they’re disgusting. They have a whole thread on 2x just for hating bisexuals. I can’t help my sexuality, I try my best to always be respectful, it’s so hurtful to be hated so much for something I can’t change especially by other LGB people. It’s like everyone hates us, straights, gays, even other bisexuals hate each other for not being bisexual in the “correct” way, and in that way it’s even more isolating being bisexual than even being gay. At least gay people can find community with each other. I’d bet that most bisexuals don’t even call themselves bisexuals because they’re that afraid of the nonstop judgement and hate from all sides. I really have no faith in humanity left.

No. 390308

File: 1712758755777.jpg (45.64 KB, 640x625, jarxptou1er61.jpg)

Would you be interested in a thread in the XX board to talk about febfem? I don't seem to find any online space specifically made for this kind of discussion. We could talk about what are the reasons behind choosing not to date men and how is that affecting our lives in general. We could have some of those reasons in common with celibate straight women but since we are open to date other women we probably couldn't share a "celibacy general" thread. I found this picture and I think it touches different aspects we could talk about. There's also the influence of feminism and female separatism ideas (last point in the picture), which are more appropriate to discus in that board than /g/.

No. 390312

>>390307
I've seen the post calling us bisluts in the lesbian general thread. There seems to be some animosity towards us coming from lesbian anon(s) but I try to not think too much about it because any farmer can have a bad day. If a lesbian anon is repeatedly shitting on us and calling us names she's probably deeply unhappy herself and baiting on purpose to start and infight. I pity any anon who comes to lc to bully any group of farmers instead of trying to have fun laughing at ugly male celebs and cows.

No. 390314

>>390307
Bitterness. That said if anyone's not calling themselves bisexual because people on the internet make fun of them, it's entirely on them.

>>390308
Go ahead. The only people I've seen claim it as a label are the types that would be in 2X, so you'd probably get productive discussion there.

No. 390315

>>390312
> any farmer can have a bad day
I agree, but when I have bad days, I still don’t go around insulting entire groups of women and harassing its members. There’s lines I don’t cross.

No. 390323

File: 1712765889321.jpg (92.08 KB, 596x720, 687474~1.JPG)

nonitas please help me understand what is happening

>be bisexual

>knew this since i was like 8 or 9
>despite trying, i just keep catching nothing but Ls by girls
>girls in middle and high school while i was growing up just find me annoying and unattractive, while boys think i shit diamonds
>at best, i have had girls kissing or messing around with me, but i'm just not gf material in their eyes so they go with other people to date instead
>accept my lot in life
>throughout my 20s, also catch Ls, but it strangely gets a bit better and better the older i get
>years passed, i've more or less given up the possibility of ever finding true love, just enjoy my life and focus on developing myself the best i can
>SUDDENLY women are acting turned on by me, more flirting from them, they feel more at ease being close to me or touching me, etc

is it just… me getting older that suddenly women feel more okay with me or something? or am i missing something here?

No. 390325

>>390323
I think other women can smell desperation and it turns them off kek. Moids sometimes can but not always.

No. 390327

>>390325

you know what… you right kek, just re-reading what i wrote i suddenly got that confirmation that i was just trying too hard with women back then, and now that i'm just chillin suddenly women want me. i just need to calm down after all. thank you nonny.

No. 390389

>>390307
>and in that way it’s even more isolating being bisexual than even being gay. At least gay people can find community with each other.
It costs nothing to say "my life sucks" without adding on "even worse than yours does actually" and I think this is one reason they don't like us honestly, the whole thing where we want to emphasize how much we have in common with other women who like women and can reflexively minimize how difficult the whole 'not also liking men' element of lesbianism is. That said, I 100% agree our struggles are different and it can feel like we don't really have community. After ending a long relationship with a woman, I feel like a poser even wearing my dumb casual rainbow leggings to the gym because most bisexuals I meet are the never dated a woman kind.
>>390323
Do you mind saying how old you are? I'm wondering when suddenly is. I think you're both right about the desperation thing but also, same sex relationships in the US are less stigmatized than ever before and women get bolder with it as they get older

No. 390399

>>390389
In terms of finding community with others of your kind, bisexuals do have a harder time, i'm not gonna take that back because it's true as hell. There are no "bi communities" like their are gay and lesbian communities because tons of bi people just larp as gay or straight depending on which is most convenient for them. A lot don't even acknowledge to themselves that they are bi and try to force themselves into one or the other. Don't tell me you've never seen that phenomenon.

No. 390401

>>390399
But I mean like. When I was dating a woman, I had my gay friends and the last time I was dating a man, I full on blended in with society and all my straight friends with boyfriends… lesbians don't automatically spawn in the world with a bunch of gay friends and lesbians are rare so it's harder for a lesbian to find other lesbians than it is for a bisexual to find other women who like men. So as I said, I agree completely that there are certain parts of being bi that feel awkward and alienating but I think you shouldn't write off the idea that lesbians can be isolated because you literally have no idea what it's like to be them.

No. 390406

>>390401
>…than it is for a bisexual to find other women who like men.
right, but that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about finding other bisexuals specifically. I think you'd agree that being bisexual is much different than being straight or gay?
>you shouldn't write off the idea that lesbians can be isolated
No where did I ever say that. I take it you also think I piss on the poor.

No. 390407

>>390405
I mean "it’s even more isolating being bisexual than even being gay" didn't really make it clear that you always find it lonely unless you're around other bisexuals and does imply that you find it lonelier than you imagine being lesbian is, for sure. but it's okay if you wanna walk it back kek. also gotta be honest, as a bisexual woman, I've had a decent number of bi female friends

No. 390410

>>390407
I'm not walking anything back? I simply clarified (in my second post) what I meant since you were confused, after which you continued to purposefully misinterpret it despite my very obvious clarification including phrases in quotes. Now you seem to just want to continue to argue for the sake of arguing because you are inexplicably bringing it all the way back to the first post which you misunderstood and claiming I really meant it the way you misunderstood it, and am now lying or "walking it back". Weird and cringe. I said what I meant, and you should play your infight game somewhere else because this is my last response to you.

No. 390414


No. 390433

do any of you have any preferences of how masculine or feminine you prefer your potential gf to look? i want a bi gf, most women i've dated briefly before have been lesbians, and i look somewhat feminine but not ridiculously so like, say, an average het.

i feel like i can't attract most bi women to save my life which is weird because…. i'm bi… so i thought it would be easier somehow, so i wonder if maybe how i look is working against me somehow even on apps.

No. 390436

>>390433
personally I have an enormous and nearly exclusive preference for androgynous women but that's just me. I didn't realize I was bi for a long time because androgynous women are pretty rare and I was chalking up my crushes on (non-medically transitioned) tifs to me being a "foolish and confused heterosexual" kek. I was like "wow i'm so bad at being straight, i keep accidentally crushing on tifs"

No. 390439

Bigoted Heterosexuals and homophobic bisexuals are the ones who do bi erasure the most.

I'm so sick and fucking tired of men and older pick me women claiming bisexuality doesn't exist, telling me to pick a side, generally claiming I'm homosexual and occasionally heterosexual, when I'm not exclusively attracted to one sex. Even get the creepy comments "how do you know what you like when you haven't tried ot?" "Lesbian sex isn't sex" "its just a phase" and other retarded stuff. The men that are like this claim lesbians are secretly attracted to the opposite sex when goldstar lesbians aka TRUE AND HONEST lesbians exist and aren't attracted to men AT ALL. I blame the fakebians, fakefags, and the bisexuals with internalised homophobia who inaccurately label themselves as straight. some of these retards will either say I'm straight and it's a phase or the latter that I'm lesbian, queer, dyke, and homosexual. These same males will spout bullshit saying 25-30 is the wall despite the best time for women to have babies, if they desire them is 25-34. They're also the same men that'll screech faggots and dykes are degenerates yet be porn shills, and are also hebephebe whatever's.

What's even worse is that some younger elderly women (aged 55-64) also spout bullshit about bisexuality not existing. They'll claim to me that I'm actually a lesbian and the bi male is actually gay and call homosexuality a lifestyle. They're so homophobic and bigoted that if I was younger, I would've hit myself and meltdown (classic autism/low to medium support needs, and would've been worse with the men as they are even more bigoted about this shit) they're also the same women who support "progressive" homophobia, but more subtly. It makes sense as it's repackaged in a different way, but in a woke way.

Just because I prefer the same sex doesn't mean I'm a homosexual/lesbian. Bisexuality isn't a phase, I'm not confused, and I don't need to pick a side. And you can know what you like, even if you never had sex in your entire life.

Now I just roll my eyes over the retarded stuff but it irritated me more than usual so I just wanted to get this off my chest.

No. 390443

>>390439

I hear you so hard. I've definitely had a lot of people in my life over the years accuse me of being a lesbian despite literally having had dated men before without any issues. A real lesbian will always have issues dating a male and will never be happy with one in all seriousness. Even ex-bfs accused me of lesbianism, but that was because they couldn't get me to come in bed and then blamed me for it lol. Don't worry about it, I know its annoying but as long as you know yourself and you know you're bisexual, no one can take it away from you.

No. 390444

>>390436

i don't blame you kek i've def been turned on by tifs before without meaning to. so many just looked like regular butches to me so.

No. 390457

>>390443
Ayrt, thank you so much for this! Sometimes it just drives me crazy. It seems like they don't get bisexuality just like I don't get social cues it seems like.

No. 390482

>>390433
Yes, I'm into androgyny first and foremost. I realized it as a teenager when I got super into women crossdressing in fancy men's clothes. Too bad you can't really find women like that who are not TIFs these days.

No. 390501

>>390482
>i realized it when I got super into women crossdressing in fancy men's clothes
Are you me? This was my awakening too kek. And yeah I’m forever mourning that women don’t dress like this irl and if they do they’re tifs or nonbinaries. Women look better in men’s formal wear than men do imo. The cleanness of the lines fits females better than males.

No. 390504

>>390433
At first I was only into maybe like soft butch type women, but they are so few and far between in media and irl so I have started to warm up to feminine women. I just think butch women have such a cool vibe, i mean this in the non cringe way but just their swagger, it's so alluring to me.

No. 390538

>>390433
i dont have any preference at all, if we click with each other that is all i need some time to catch feelings so we would have to get to know each other first and then see how things go

No. 390555

File: 1712854797474.jpg (74.74 KB, 556x525, 1337836291830.jpg)

>>390307
I can reply to this from my perspective as someone who often calls bisexuals "bisluts". The true reason for doing this is not deep at all, I just got used to the term from edgy toxic lescel spaces on the Internet more than a decade ago. My lesbian friends also say bislut a lot so essentially it's just normalized in my mind. The reason I haven't stopped is because I'm biphobic. Sure, not all bisexuals fall into the shitty stereotypes but I have severe brainworms from the bislut stories I have read in here or in /tttt/ or in reddit throughout the years. I'm extremely paranoid and hateful of most bisexual women, except for my friends who I know have never acted like the shitty bisexual stereotypes. I acknowledge that this comes from my own insecurities, constant competition I feel towards men and a general feeling of inferiority. At least this is a terminally online thing that does not leak IRL for me, as I have bisexual female acquaintances/somewhat friends who I do not think any less of or treat in a different way. As for why other lesbians keep saying "bislut" I cannot tell for sure, but it's probably for similar reasons to mine, and just thinking bisexuals are actually disgusting for having sex with men. I would say don't take personally what people say on the Internet about bisexuals. Even within lesbian communities people shit on each other a lot. I found that the best thing to do is just find lesbian/bisexual friends that agree with your values instead of seeking validation from a "community" that's made up of people with all different backgrounds and ways of thinking, because obviously you will always find someone that will shit on you for who you are.

No. 390558

>>390555
Thanks for proving my point about how bisexuals can’t even find community with other bisexuals. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect illustration of the phenomenon. This is exactly what I meant when I talked about bisexuals being so afraid of judgement that they either hop on board launching cruelties at fellow bisexuals in a desperate attempt to be “not like the other bis!” in order to feel accepted by lesbians or straights (won’t work btw, just like “not like the other girls” never works), or they choose to larp as another sexuality instead.

No. 390559

>>390307
Sorry but having sex with men is objectively disgusting, maybe we wouldn't be so mean if you didn't do that. Most of you end up in het relationships. Also lesbians don't have community either and bi people can at least bond with hets over their mutual opposite sex attraction so fuck off with your claim of being more isolated than gays. You are so desperate to be oppressed.(bait)

No. 390560

>>390558
As I said, just make friends who share your values instead. I cannot be part of lesbian "communities" because the people there are retarded, I hate them and they hate me, why bother? It's way more fulfilling to gather your own like-minded lesbian and bisexual friends that will actually give you constructive criticism instead of just spouting retarded shit because at the end of the day people in those "communities" don't know you and don't care about you.
>launching cruelties at fellow bisexuals in a desperate attempt to be “not like the other bis!”
I understand this happens a lot. I have seen it happen. Funnily enough I've also seen bisexuals dating each other who hate that the other is bisexual because they are too paranoid of the other cheating with a man.
>or they choose to larp as another sexuality instead
This really is something I cannot stand of some bisexual women. If I ever find a friend was LARPing to be a lesbian for whatever reason I'm cutting ties because I unironically believe it's harmful, selfish behavior. Just take the fucking loss and don't fall into the shittiest bisexual stereotypes, you will have almost no problem dating lesbians, so no need to pretend to be one (and if a lesbian refuses to date you for being bisexual do you really want to be there anyway?). These closeted bisexuals are probably the biggest redflag of incoming cheating with a man to me, specially if it's painfully obvious that they are bisexual but they aren't aware of it themselves.

No. 390563

>>390559
Go on, continue to act like a psychopath. It’s like all of the people I referred to in my original post who make things hell for bisexuals (that I was immediately gaslighted about) decided to waltz in and prove me correct in the most cartoon-villain way possible. My sincerest thanks.

No. 390564

>>390563
No one wanted to prove you wrong. You asked why lesbians hate bisexuals and you got a couple sincere answers.

No. 390565

>>390563
Yes, homosexuals are so evil for shitting on anything het. Let me guess, heterosexuals are also oppressed because we shit on them for their behavior and thoughts. Lol.

No. 390567

Have any other masculine bi women found themselves not on the receiving end of lesbian hate the way other bi women make it out to be? Everyone talks about it like it's ubiquitous but I've never had any lesbians act any type of way when I've mentioned my bisexuality. Is it because of my masculinity?

>>390433
I never had a preference and found myself attracted to both androgynous and feminine women. When I was trans-identified it stayed the same.

As for attracting other bi women, I can't say I know any tricks. There's a general stereotype of feminine bi women liking masculine women because visually it mimics heterosexual dynamics, but I've seen just as many women who are crazy for feminine women.

Do you yourself have a preference?

No. 390569

lescels seething at the mere idea of bisexual women potentially having heterosexual sex is so amusing to me. go on, tell us more about how dick has the power to degrade a woman’s value. truly obsessed moid-worshipping logic. check out /r9k/ while you’re at it, I think you might find you have a lot of common ground with your brothers there!

No. 390571

>>390564
The answer:
>you are attracted to men and that makes you a DISGUSTUNG SLUTTY WHORE
>and also if you take offense to me calling you this then that’s another reason we hate you. Sit there and take the abuse bislut
truly only the greatest minds on lolcow

No. 390574

>>390569
Yes sister, lesbians are literally satan for following their natural sexual inclinations and being repulsed by our behavior. Us opposite-sex attracted people have it so hard, the evil gays bully us and literally want us dead. Brb I have to wash the dishes for my hubby and go for my STD checkup!

No. 390575

>>390566
Moids carry STDs and that's more than enough reason for me to feel put off about that. If she got a clean STD test I would be fine but it's kinda weird to ask that. If I ever found a bisexual that fucked men and I really really like her I might do that though.

>>390571
You're just making up shit in your mind now. But even if you actually got those sentences as answers so what. Just find lesbians that don't hate bisexuals, or stop associating with lesbians entirely. You won't be able to change how they feel about you, stop being retarded expecting validation from them.

No. 390576

>>390569
Translation: lesbians are evil moids. Totally not homophobic, right?

No. 390577

>>390574
let me translate:
>I’m not like the other bisexuals who want to be treated with basic respect! I acknowledge I’m disgusting! So please like me, lesbians!
so pathetic and sad…

No. 390578

>>390576
so it’s no problem when you call bisexuals “bisluts” but I should feel bad about calling you a “lescel”? don’t dish out what you can’t take kekkk

No. 390579

>>390578
>implying biphobia exists
Bisexuals are only ever oppressed on the basis of their same-sex attraction, not their opposite-sex attraction. Are you seriously saying that disliking someone for their opposite-sex attraction is on the same level as homophobia? I guess by that logic racism against whites is always just as bad as racism against black people.

No. 390580

>>390315
Ayrt and after witnessing the last few posts I have to admit that I was underestimating the problem, my post didn't mean to come across as gaslighting nona, I'm sorry if it did.
>>390314
I'll try to make something this afternoon, maybe that's the kind of thing that board needs in order to get some more activity kek

No. 390581

>>390577
My bi gf is a lesbian pickme and that's pretty hot. I love the power I have over her. Bi girls should just bow before me for validation. I will acknowledge them as the "good bis" who have earned a little bit of my attention. I will let them eat my pussy as a reward.

No. 390582

>>390579
I truly don’t care about le “biophobia” or whatever words you’re trying to put in my mouth. I’m merely highlighting how scrote-like your blatant misogyny is by whining about “bisluts,” as if bisexual women are whores for their innate sexuality. seethe more

No. 390583

>>390307
I'm a lesbian and ime, there are three main reasons. The first is that a lot of lesbians moralize our orientation as better, purer, more enlightened, etc. to cope with lesbophobia (which is polilez logic, but I suppose it's an easy trap to fall into.) Second reason is that bi women are in our dating pool, but there is a certain unbridgeable gap in understanding. You will never understand us the way other lesbians do, just like lesbians will never understand you the way other bi women do. Many of us are uniquely nervous about being compared to men, so of course bi women feel more like threats and have a much larger potential to affirm this fear. Third is that a lot of bi women seem to expect validation from lesbians, or view us in strange ways. And the trope of bi women cheating on their lesbian partners with men is a real thing that happens, and turns a lot of lesbians very jaded.

There are other reasons, but those tend to be the most common I think. Either way, I don't think it's fair to lay all our baggage at the feet of bi women or expect bi women to just accept being scapegoated for everything under the sun. For what it's worth, I find the hostility towards bi women here to be a lot more extreme than anything I've witnessed irl, so it does seem to be more of an online problem in my eyes. Like I've never seen lesbians get called pickmes for defending bi women anywhere but here.

No. 390584

>>390582
It's your attraction I'm repulsed by dipshit, hating hetshit isn't misogyny. But go ahead, tell me all about how lesbians are basically men.(infighting)

No. 390585

>>390579
Bisexuals are stigmatized for their unique quality of dual attraction by both gays and straights, yes. I wouldn’t call it oppression because I have an education in sociology, what it is is stigma. You like to put the word “oppression” in the mouths of bisexuals who never claimed that in order to strawman our argument of “stop being cruel to us for no good reason” into something ridiculous, so everyone else, be aware of this common trick they pull.

No. 390586

>>390583
Don't bother replying to that retard, she just wants to cry about how oppressed she is because lesbians refuse to eat her STD-ridden pussy after she has raw-dogged dozens of moids.(infighting)

No. 390587

>>390586
Uhuh that’s exactly what her posts said. You got it, champ. Kek

No. 390588

>>390585
>I have an education in sociology
Everything makes sense now. Maybe you should've gotten something else that wasn't a toilet paper degree and then you would be doing something useful with your life and women would like you.(infighting)

No. 390589

>>390588
Grasping for straws now that I pointed out your special trick, I see.

No. 390591

>>390589
I'm not even the anon you were replying to. You sound retarded and useless. Probably it's not even the fact that you're bi why lesbians don't like you, they just don't want to deal with an eternal womanchild living on less than minimum wage who expects them to pay for everything as if they were your retarded beta provider. Just stick to moids please.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 390592

>>390591
It’s not even a full straw now. It’s like, a fragment of a straw. I’m curious how deep you’ll get into this straw man’s lore though. Where does she work for minimum wage? I vote Taco Bell but it’s up to you

No. 390596

>>390591
so much projection, I wouldn’t expect anything less from out resident lescels. is that why you assume we give a fuck about a handful of lescels on lolcow.farm who don’t want to fuck filthy “bisluts”? as if I’d ever be desperate enough to fuck a woman with that much internalized misogyny

No. 390599

>>390592
>>390596
Kek you're this desperate for negative lesbian attention that you will continue samefagging until you get a reply? Here you go. Good girl.

No. 390600

It feels massively nonsensical for lesbians to villainize bisexuals if they date a man after them. I’ve seen many use it as the reason they can’t trust bisexuals. The reason it makes no sense is because bisexuals like both sexes, and just by sheer overwhelming odds, she’s much more likely to run into a mutual attraction with a man just due to numbers alone, and it has absolutely zero to do with the previous female partner “not being enough” or whatever. Am I articulating this well enough? Like I feel like this should be obvious and yet no one brings the actual explanation up, just uses it to shit on bi women and paint them as back-stabbers to womankind or proof bi women prefer dick or whatever other nonsense.

And for the record, I say all this as a febfem who has never and will never date a moid. This phenomenon just bothers me because it doesn’t make logical sense to be angry at a personal level about how basic numbers and statistics influence who normie (non radicalized kek) bi women wind up dating. Like they’re reading into the phenomenon their own insecurities, and putting that hurt back on bi women who really don’t deserve it.

No. 390601

>>390599
second ayrt, definitely not samefagging. shocking that there are multiple bisluts itt willing to stand up for ourselves, right? calling me “good girl” did turn me on a little though, ngl

No. 390602

>>390599
Only one of those posts is mine, you sad, sad little baiter. By all means test it by reporting for samefagging. Farmhands can see we’re different people.

No. 390603

>>390600
Being left for a man or cheated on with a man is different from your bisexual partner dating a man after healing from the breakup. The former happens too often.

No. 390605

>>390600
It's all based on a foundation of insecurity. There's a reason why they all whine about it constantly instead of just saying they don't date bisexual women and living in peace. It makes extra sense that the average farmer would be so loud about it, the self confidence of most of the women on here is in the gutter.

No. 390606

>>390605
>instead of just saying they don't date bisexual women and living in peace
Most lesbians do say this though, still drives the bishits insane, so much that you cannot mention this in good faith anywhere on the Internet without everyone else having a meltdown. You're a blight akin to trannies. Just fucking date each other ffs. Why does everyone want validation from the L? Fuck off.

No. 390608

>>390606
anon, dear anon, check what thread you’re in. who’s having the meltdown? again, we don’t give a fuck if you don’t want to date bisexuals

No. 390609

>>390606
If you’re using words like “bishits” and “bisluts” then you are not, in fact, doing that. Hope that makes sense.

No. 390610

>>390608
>>390609
Yes, I'm in the bishit thread discussing bishit behavior. Seems appropriate. Also I would date a bisexual, I'm just talking about posts I see elsewhere of lesbians casually mentioning that they wouldn't date one then getting banned for biphobia and bishits in the thread having a meltie. You can probably guess which website.

No. 390611

>>390606
You're only demonstrating what I mean. You could go say it in the lesbian thread if you wanted to right now and have everyone agree with you, but you're throwing a tantrum in the bisexual thread about it instead because you're desperate for a fight for nothing.

Do you honestly think anyone that's on this website is going to have a meltdown at you because you say you won't date bisexuals? People will talk about it sure but nobody's going to get aggressive. If you want to mald about redditors go to reddit.

No. 390612

>>390610
I would suggest we kiss and make up but then I remembered your earlier post
>You're a blight akin to trannies.
meanie, nonny!

No. 390614

>>390611
Well I will not derail the lesbian thread to talk about bisexuals for the 219834th time but you can go ahead and do that if you want.

>>390612
I mean that in the way how trannies only want to date lesbians too. Honestly I have no idea why many bisexuals seethe when lesbians say they won't date one. It literally doesn't affect you. There are many more bisexual women than lesbians, and they are still women and SSA so I just don't get it. I also don't mean this to any of YOU taking it personally, it's just a generalized observation of some bisexual women.

No. 390618

>>390588
What did you study that's so much better than sociology?

No. 390620

>>390618
Malaysian basket weaving studies with a specialization in halal coiling.

No. 390628

>>390610
This is a thread for bisexuals, not outsiders who want to have free reign to insult bisexuals.
>>390614
>Well I will not derail the lesbian thread to talk about bisexuals for the 219834th time but you can go ahead and do that if you want.
Uh no, I don’t do that because unlike you, I stay in my containment thread and leave other people alone. I know this is foreign concept to people as sad and boring as you, though.

No. 390629

>>390620
So nothing.

No. 390630

>>390629
She does give off major NEET energy. Although pretty much all baiters do. It points to something being missing from their life.

No. 390637

Oh god can we stop the bi vs les sperging. It is always the same numbing shit.

But the sperg anons mentioning studies made me think. What are you doing for work on or studying? Im in engineering. Should I have gone to art studies or something to meet ssa women kek.

No. 390647

>>390637
I'm studying compsci but sometimes I think about an alternate timeline version of myself where I applied to art school instead

No. 390648

>>390637
I’m in engineering too!

No. 390650

>>390637
I'm in software development.

No. 390657

File: 1712872475747.png (1021.53 KB, 1436x748, youlikebislutsdontyou.png)

>>390610
you like bisluts dont you nona(baiting)

No. 390661

File: 1712872982062.jpeg (251.89 KB, 820x1043, puking.jpeg)

>>390657(baiting)

No. 390662

>>390657
KEKK I was >>390601 and >>390612 and I honestly was feeling some sexual tension, she made me blush when she said that. so tsundere. lescel-chan come back, I’ll be your bislut if you want…

No. 390671

>>390661
Oh you came back to post some more bait?

No. 390680

>>390661
fucking nasty scrote-tier image, spoiler that shit, weirdo.

No. 390690

>>390637
I'm in an IT program and there's only a handful of other women but 2/3 of them are butch lesbians. I'm probably not going to pursue further work in the field because the moids are somehow even worse than compsci moids, I don't think I could stand having them as my coworkers they're so creepy to me. if I can land a boring office job I'll be happy

No. 390737

File: 1712897489489.jpg (328.39 KB, 1500x1101, kjdsn.jpg)

bi-cycling never stops being incomprehensible to me. For yeaaarrrs I was only into men & dick, now for the past few years it's the opposite, I only fantasize about pussy. The weirdest part is that the exact male celeb crushes or fantasies that I used to have are completely revolting to me now. For example, these days I feel like penises look like alien worms and I would scream and break out in hives if I had to touch one.
I never have those passing "oh, that one's attractive" moments when i see moids on the street or in media anymore, now I solely get that feeling for women.
What in the world causes this? I have an extremely stable sense of self, I've never had any trauma or bad experiences with men, was raised by accepting parents/community–in the past I even analyzed my attractions due to having a majority gay friend group, and even still concluded with certainty that there was no way i could be attracted to women. So… how the fuck am I now exclusively into women? Did aliens come down and abduct me in the middle of the night, scramble my brain, and then replace me gently in my bed like nothing happened?

In some ways I feel lucky this happened to me this way around, because I know how much hatred is directed at women who thought they were lesbians and then out of nowhere became attracted to men. No one believes them and just accuses them being larping posers who lied out of some malicious intent to undermine the lesbian community or whatever. But when people hear about a formerly "straight" woman suddenly being attracted to women, most people just say "congrats, looks like you were just repressed!" which although wrong, is at least a friendly response. The opposite type of cycler gets torn to absolute shreds.

No. 390758

>tinder set to women only
>see hot gnc/masc woman
>she seems compatible with me
>"straight trans man"
>"potterhead"
>????????
I'm just surprised is all. Seems like someone easy to peak tbh, being both self aware and disconnected from online discourse and gendieshit. I felt a little part of me die inside tho. I could fix her

No. 390799

>>390662
i would let her bully me
>>390690
im in IT too. lovely mixture of autism , transgenderism, and sometimes a stunning mix of the two. I like computers too much to quit. Its funny if i just dissociate and imagine im in some big bang theory-esque sitcom.

No. 390813

>>390637
I'm in project management for various industries. The company I work for is mostly older women. At clients there's a mix of men and women. Some industries we work for seem to have more men (IT, construction) while others have more women (rail comes to mind).

No. 390834

>>390662
I think it was a man larping. It was so needlessly aggressive, just like a typical incel man.

No. 390901

>>390567
>Do you yourself have a preference?

nope, not really. i've had people ask me that in all seriousness and tbh, i've been attracted to masc and fem women without any issue. i feel like it's an overall vibe thing for me, if her personality is just awesome and she's wonderful to be around, i really don't give a flying fuck what she decided to wear that day.

that said, though… i would swoon over a masculine bi woman. i've only seen a handful of you online and it sucks that its super rare irl. maybe someday.

No. 390918

>>390901
>its super rare irl
I really want to Be The Change, but I am always get read as feminine by people despite thinking of myself as GNC.
>I have short hair, but i guess my hair looks more like a pixie cut to people due to the bangs/fringe (I don't even want bangs, but i NEED them due to huge forehead).
>I don't wear makeup, but I think it comes across more like I'm a nerd who doesn't know about makeup rather than a deliberate choice.
>I'm also shortish (5'3) and have a really feminine build, it seems no amount of weight loss touches my thick thighs. I'm 116lbs now and still have an exaggerated hourglass figure.
Some women are just so effortlessly androgynous and I'm so jealous. My mom is actually one of those people and I always wished I looked like her, but she hates it and is always "complimenting" me on my "delicate, feminine" figure and insisting on how cute and feminine I am. It really drives me insane when I'm going for the EXACT opposite.

No. 390973

>>390637
engineering also

No. 390996

Seems like androgynous women are the main preference for lesbian and especially bi women. I personally present this way but with this sort of standard I’m surprised I don’t come across more androgynous/masc/gnc ssa women? Have they all trooned out?
Also, why are there so many bisexual vs lesbian fights? Can we debate with the straight anons for once - that would at least be interesting.

No. 391039

>>390996
>Have they all trooned out?
Literally yes. It makes me want to explode because I’m aching in my bones to fuck an androgynous woman but they all went on T and call themselves men so it’s a desolate abandoned landscape and I’m crawling through the desert hallucinating and dreaming of water and sooner or later I will perish curled up like a dried out bug in a cardboard box

No. 391109

File: 1713042470436.jpg (75.62 KB, 720x720, 68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a…)

>>390918
>I'm 116lbs now and still have an exaggerated hourglass figure.

stop being me. i also have a natural hourglass figure and naturally large breasts, so i think even if i try to roidout and gain as much muscles as possible or whatever, my breasts would still give me away and i'll just look imbalanced somehow. my face disappoints me severely also. i have very soft features, probably like you do. no jawline or cheekbones to speak of, and whenever i tried putting my hair up and clip it in to make myself look like i just cut my hair super short, i don't look like a sexy masc woman. i just look like a chubby 8 year old boy who's the theater star at his local church kek. did you ever took that weird kibbe test? its about what your style is depending on your facial features and body shape, and whether it naturally looks yang/masculine or yin/feminine. i got "pure romantic" as my test result and its the most yin out of all the other results. suffice to say i'm devastated that i can never rock the gnc look without looking retarded.

No. 391146

>>391109
ayrt kek sorry nonny, it's hard. I never took the kibbe test because I figure there's no point rubbing salt in the wound. I have a pronounced jawline/chin, but no cheekbones and some really unfortunate other features so I read more like inbred Hapsburg than anything else kek. It really sucks to have the style you're most drawn to not match your body type. I know my body type fits dresses and feminine cut things very well, but I don't like wearing that stuff. Then when I try to look dapper and cool, I look like a voluptuous midget in ill-fitting clothes reeeeeeeeeee.
I think you should try cutting your hair though, imo all women look cuter with short hair and also I just feel like all women should try it at least once. It will always grow back if you don't love it. But I did it for the first time at 22 and loved it so much I wish I had cut it that way my whole life. You might be surprised how much you like it.

No. 391170

File: 1713055931948.jpg (49.92 KB, 719x715, F8xbdplbEAAPxEq.jpg)

>>390918
>>391109
respectfully, you both sound very attractive to me… I love masc women who have a soft look and feminine bodies with my entire heart and I'm a womanlet so everyone is tall to me

No. 392189

>>390737
In a situation like this how do you know for sure that you weren't actually repressing all along? You said that you have a strong sense of your self and that nothing in particular triggered your SSA, that you're someone with a stable and homofriendly background. It makes no sense at all to me kek but I am not judging. For years you always thought you were straight and never experienced SSA attraction but now, if this is the first time your attraction has switched, how do you know if it will ever change again? Can you call it bicycling if you've never come back to your initial position? Anons above were talking about cycles that lasted several months but not years and I'm assuming they also experienced it multiple times, that's why they are exhausted of it. Your case seems different because, unless I misunderstood, you've never felt attraction towards men again.

No. 392227

>>390918
>>391109
You really do want what you can’t have kek. From puberty I’ve always been naturally more gnc and I hate it. I’m 5’2 and flat which could be read as petite but I just feel like a little boy instead. I have a spoon body shape so my curves aren’t pronounced and I kinda just look stupid as a result. I have a sharp jawline, thick eyebrows, high cheekbones, deep set eyes, cleft chin and other features that make me feel masculine. It doesn’t help that I’ve always been told I’m tomboyish or androgynous when I’m trying to go for the exact opposite. I remember on one a date with my ex I hd a full face of makeup he told me he loved how much of a tomboy I am… eugh. This piled on with my more masculine personality and interests just creates a landfill of insecurity. I guess i could try to pull off the “baddie” look or something of that sort

No. 392287

>>391109
>>390918
>>392227
Can relate. I am pretty masculine, tall, broad, big jaw etc. and now I have more tomboyish style which fits. But when I was younger I wanted to wear all kinds of uwu cutesy stuff, it just made me look like a troon kek. I know Kibbe and other fashion advice can be kinda autistic and recommend exatly what you dont like, but maybe try to look for elements that fit both your body type and preferred style. There are kinds of tricks you can use, for example I gain weight on my waist so I hide it by sticking the bottom of my shirt inside my pants and by wearing layered shirts/jackets. It could work to hide small waistline as well. To make skinny body look curvier bell shaped skirts and high waisted pants can work I think.

No. 392507

So I've never been into men or penis. I always thought I'd have a girlfriend, but around two years ago I ended up meeting this guy and we hit it off. He's my first relationship, first everything, really. And I feel like he's the exception to my sexuality because I'm not interested in men besides him, but that's not the point of my post. Lately I've been thinking about girls and wishing I had experienced something with them before this relationship happened. Early on in the relationship he told me he feels guilty I never had a chance. He said he wouldn't mind if I had a girlfriend as long as I'm not doing it behind his back and she knows that he's top priority, but that feels so fetishy and trendy especially with how popular that kind of thing is these days. I'm really monogamous too so idk if I could do an open relationship. Hell, I'd probably fall for her more than I've fallen for him and be suffering internally over it. At least I can live vicariously through fictional lesbian relationships on character.ai to satisfy my thirst, kek. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation?

No. 392513

>>392507
Yeah, I was in a similar situation in the past (and generally always felt more attracted to women even when I had a bf), but once I got my first girlfriend I could never go back. I think there isn't any point in being with a guy when you like women that much more (unless you really want biological children I guess).

No. 392904

Can I say something about about what happened ~2 weeks ago? Its been bothering me but I don't want to start even more infighting. If not I'll stfu

No. 392910

>>392904
The bisexual council only celebrates meetings once every three moons to discuss matters of importance, so you may proceed at your own risk, still, even greater powers will be judging your actions and your words, that is, the almighty mods…

No. 392925

>>392904
i mean if you're going to talk about what I think you're going to talk about I'm certain it will draw in the rabid bisexual haters from the lesbian thread, but I'm having a shit day and need a retarded distraction so I say go for it.
>>392910
kek

No. 392932

>>392904
Now I'm curious. Spill the tea nonny

No. 392948

File: 1713837132292.jpg (Spoiler Image,2.04 MB, 946x2048, Ugly male.jpg)

>>392932
>>392925

Ayart, does anyone else feel like the majority of people claiming to be or implying they are lesbians who go out of their way to shit on bi women (here and in general) are actually just LARP-ing as lesbians? Obviously there are some actual lesbians who have legitimate criticisms of bi women, but most of them just smell of polilez/male to me. Picrel is an example of a "transbian" behaving like what I'm describing - it seems like some of them do this to act out the "mean lesbian" sterotype (furthering the LARP).

No. 392954

>>392948
I think it’s probably both TIMs larping and real lesbians that all have had their brains rotted by /tttt/ where this is common rhetoric. I’ve checked that 4chan board out of morbid curiosity, and while it’s been completely taken over by troons, there also seems to be a demographic of NEET women who have grown up in terminally online moid-dominated spaces that is also present

No. 392959

>>392948
No, younger lesbians especially are just like that from growing up online and this "everyone I don't like is a man or another gotcha that makes wnat they said invalid" is honestly a cope. These convos always lead to comparing lesbians to men, trannies and other degens and I'm sick of this type of obsessed, very specific infighting here. If you want to fight lesbians then go to their thread or else you're just baiting them to take over our gen again.

No. 392966

>>392954
Biphobia memes are common on twt with moralfag normies who hate 4chan. OP using a tranny as proof biphobic lesbians are lying bisexuals is retarded because trannies are literally trying to imitate women, and the trannies doing the biphobia gag are self-hating autogynephiles who are mad that their attraction to themselves as women makes them bi because they went from sassy gay boys to predators. Lesbians aren't trying to imitate anyone, they are women, it's 99% zoomers following the mean lesbian meme which is their version if being a pick me. Blaming bisexuals for biphobia is the homophobes are secretly gay cope all over again. OK, it's true sometimes (I saw one tryhard twt thirst-trapping "les" hating on men and bis 24/7 and then fangirl Hunter Schafer) but tl;dr it is deranged to use biphobia as evidence of bisexuality

No. 392968

By fangirl I meant say she wants to fuck him btw

No. 392969

>>392966
>OP using a tranny as proof biphobic lesbians are lying bisexuals
Ayrt, wait where did OP say this? Isn’t the cap of a AGP/heterosexual moid?

No. 392970

>>392969
He is. She said biphobic lesbians smell of lying bisexuals and trannies, like that one. I noticed lots of these trannies, incl popular twt ones that pretended to be gay boys before, put on the biphobic mean act. It's creepy asf. Drawing a comparison to them larping as lesbians and actual women who are biphobic and "mean" larping as lesbians is a massive leap for those reasons aka they're completely separate arguments. I just think it's sneaky and pathetic to use solid proof like that video to start another infight with rabid insane lesbians from a 2 week old fight

No. 393063

>>392189
>how do you know for sure that you weren't actually repressing all along?
because in the past I actually used to wish I was attracted to women and tried to force it but no matter how hard I tried I just wasn’t sexually attracted to the female body. So I accepted I was straight.
Which is why it’s such a massive mind-fuck to be so incredibly horny for women now. I literally daydream about pussy and the only thing I’ve gotten off to for over a year now is fantasies about my female crush and nothing else.
> if this is the first time your attraction has switched, how do you know if it will ever change again?
I guess I can’t know for sure but to me it just seems insane that the dominant sexuality I’ve had for most of my life would never come back some day. If I never go back then it’s more like a sexuality change and not bisexuality, which most people think is impossible and I sort of do too. The only coherent explanation for this that I can think of is that I just have a really long bi cycle. To be honest I don’t really want to go back to being attracted to men because being attracted to women feels so amazing on a deeper level, like it makes my heart swell and feel warm (??? Can’t describe the feeling, I guess I just mean I feel more passionately)

No. 393088

>>393063
What you say makes a lot of sense, thanks for taking the time to reply. I wish you the best of luck with your crush too kek. I'm was very curious about your situation because I find myself in similar circumstances

No. 393109

>>392948
TIMs want to larp or be whatever the consider the most exclusively female so this makes sense to me that they'd fetishize lesbians who dislike/distrust bi women but fuck is it funny. you are ugly straight or pornsick pseudo-bi men. please keep bi women out of your mouths!

No. 393115

>>393088
Ayrt, what are your circumstances? I’m really curious to hear other peoples experiences.

No. 393173

>>392948
How many bi women seriously think being les4les is biphobic though? I'm mostly bi4bi myself (there are a lot of hot lesbians out there but for me it's also the shared experiences thing) so it would be hypocritical to be against les4les women

No. 393182

>>393173

Oh man, I remember trying to do the bi4bi thing and specified in a dating profile one time on a ~wlw~ app that I am a bi woman seeking same, no men/troons/women of other orientations… and all I got was replies from lesbians. Like I don't get it? And I agree, nothing wrong with les4les.

No. 393183

>>393173
I don’t really care if lesbians are les4les. All of my ex gfs have been bi, though I would date a lesbian too

No. 393190

It's always weird seeing mostly het leaning libfem bi women complain about how lesbians don't want to date them, like… if you're serious then seek out other bi women to date? Don't put other women down for having boundaries, dating is never all inclusive. I'm somewhat of a fujo/into fandomshit so one thing I like about dating other bi women is sperging about our husbandos together kek

No. 393210

>>393190
>one thing I like about dating other bi women is sperging about our husbandos together kek
Kek same, I also think I'm doing lesbians a favor by sparing them from my sperging. It can be painful though to be in female dominated fandom spaces because I tend to develop the biggest most desperate crushes on some of the women there, and at the end of the day most of them are straight.

No. 393326

>>393115
Well, when I started puberty I knew that I experienced romantic and sexual attraction to women but I really hated myself for it. I loathed my body during puberty and also had a huge sex aversion. That added to a high degree of internalised misogyny made me miserable enough to live all those years as a ''straight girl'' never again questioning myself although I've always masturbated almost exclusively to women, cognitive disonance is a bitch. I guess my preferences were romantically inclined to men only, and that seemed unchangeable, because a relationship with a woman appeared to be forbidden. Some months after breaking up with my bf I suppose I bi-cycled for the first time, after a several months of completely inexistent libido. Now my ssa is not being supressed anymore and I don't have any interest in men at all. So more or less the former long straight phase and the recent ssa phase are similar to your's.

No. 393673

>>393210
AYRT what fandoms are you into if it's okay to ask? Cause for me most fandom women I see might have previously identified as bi but now say queer and/or are they/thems. Maybe this differs between fandoms though? I met my ex gf through (cringe I guess) Twitter fandom and while it didn't work out it felt comforting and exciting to meet someone semi-organically AKA through shared autistic interests and not through some dating app

No. 393731

File: 1714125396555.jpg (2.97 KB, 225x224, 1710406428124.jpg)

I hate that I completely lose attraction to men in long term relationships. The same does not happen with women which is weird. I am in a committed relationship with a man, he's a good match otherwise but I'm just not sexually interested in him at all anymore. Same happened with my previous male partner. In my previous long relationship with a woman that did not happen, and changes in appearance/having rought times emotionally did nothing to make me less interested in her. Anyone have the same issue?

No. 393735

>>393673
Ayrt, I've been in various Western fandoms throughout the years and I've noticed the same. Women who maybe previously would've called themselves bi first switched to "queer" and then enby, some became low-effort TIFs. When I was into Doctor Who some 10 years ago, Tumblr would be full of bis-turned-queer, I left when Superwholock became a thing and things got really obnoxious. I'm guessing many trooned out after that. The current state of Batman fandom is at least 60% TIFs and other gendie types, although there are a few normal women (usually a bit older and mainly hetshippers). I had to get over a parasocial crush to a girl I thought was super cute but she kept writing a character as a troon I may have thought I could fix her. Thankfully she started posting Palestine crap which made me stop lurking her page kek

Nowadays I don't really interact with the fandom anymore outside fanfic comment sections and I'm slowly moving towards more and more obscure fandoms for old books and theater where it's at least nice and quiet. Would be a dream tbh to meet a gf through fandom because I feel like my interests are way too autistic for normie women, but with the current state of fandom being what it is, I'm not going to advertize being bi in order to not associate with the gendercrowd.

No. 393896

I'm trying not to lose hope but every masc women i ever had a crush on are only interested in Gender Conforming Women how do I know this? They posted their GC gfs on their ig stories sigh btw I'm a gnc febfem who likes masc women.

No. 393903

The gnc febfem anon again I thought I was gonna pull this masc women but I fucked up my chances 😔 Idk if it was my tone of my messages or something but she stopped replying and hearting my messages I feel like a loser but I couldn't shake off the feeling that she lives closeby so I'm planning to visit her she posted her neighborhood in her ig stories a couple of times(emoji)

No. 393916

File: 1714172377287.jpeg (4.8 KB, 200x200, sqykqyoaxerhrfrevirnlaneboaniq…)

does it ever come back? attraction to men, i mean. i've been through a shit ton of trauma thanks to them over the years, and i've abstained from having any intimacy from them for around five years now. i used to be repulsed by dick, could not stand to even look at a neutral phot of one without gagging or crying. but i've eased myself into looking at them little by little, and now i just have no reaction whatsoever. not disgust, but not arousal or desire for it, either. i'm pretty sure i have at least physical and romantic attraction to men because… i mean, i felt it, so therefore its real. but i've never felt sexually aroused by the male body before, though sex with men was something i could get through as long as i just either zone out or think about women to have an orgasm. but again, i think that's a normal bisexual experience. but now its just eating at me, like. even if i never in theory have another relationship with a man again, i still want to feel semi normal about it. i want to feel arousal at a man's body and gush about it with female friends so that we can bond over it, but i really just can't do it, no matter how hard i try. it's been like this before the trauma of everything, too. i don't know. i guess i just wanna see if there are other weird "partial bisexuals" itt too.

No. 393919

>>393916
You sound lesbian…

No. 393921

>>393896
is it really that rare for someone to be "masc4masc"? I'm too mentally fucked to date any time soon but hearing that it doesn't really exist is kind of depressing… why is it rare for masc women to like other masc women? I mean personally most of the reason I dress the way I do is because I find it attractive on other women. So it just doesn't make sense to my brain how it's not that way for other people.

No. 393923

>>393919

please say sike. i really can't accept this, i'm sorry. no offense to the lesbians of the world, i love them and want the best for them, but that idea feels impossible in my mind.

No. 393928

>>393923
How can you both say you felt attraction to men while also saying youve never felt attraction to the male body before? If the latter is true and you are literally disassociating and thinking about women during sex then you sound lesbian. You were always repulsed by the male body, what part of that sounds opposite-sex attracted to you?

No. 393934

>>393916
anon i get you. i've dated men and liked being with them for their personalities or humor, even found comfort in hugs or cuddling, but never found them arousing. genuinely can't tell if it's caused by trauma though. I don't think it's normal and some would classify it as lesbian, but then some lesbians would say it's bisexual/febfem… who cares tbh just date women

No. 393983

>>393921
It is depressing but i'm holding out hope that'll eventually come across a masc women who's masc4masc or a masc women who likes both masc & fem women

No. 394145

>>393928

i mean…. idk. i know people like to say that marriage without sexual attraction sounds impossible, but then, there has been cases of friends marrying each other just for outside benefits and while they wouldn't find enjoyment having sex with one another, they didn't died if they had to hold hands in public. i didn't died when a man held my hand, so i figured, oh, that means i'm at least bi. the last couple of times a man has gotten himself on top of me, i was dry heaving into a toilet and wanted to kill myself afterwards, but again, its hard to tell why that is because men in general have been horrible to me since i was a little girl. its just hard to comb through such a huge mess inside my mind. but perhaps, maybe you are right. maybe i'm not opposite sex attracted. which… kills me on the inside tbh. i've always wanted to be like other women who can be sexually attracted to men and have a happy future through that.

>>393934

i mean, i've met plenty of genuinely traumatized het and bi women before and they are still able to get aroused by men's bodies in spite of that. whereas i literally can't, no matter how hard i try or try to "test" myself via looking at pictures or videos. i'm happy that at least i'm not gagging or crying from the pics anymore, but what's frustrating me is that i can't get over the feeling of absolute nothingness at the same time, either. and yeah, maybe it doesn't matter, maybe it's just best i pretend to be bi for the rest of my life, better that than saying i'm gay and getting persecuted for it.

No. 394186

>>393735
AYRT just my personal opinion but I think anyone who automatically associates being openly bi with being uwu qweer is assuming way too much. All bi is really is liking both sexes and any political or aesthetic thing that people attach to that isn't universally true. I've switched over to fandom places where I can stay anon mostly but I do miss building close friendships with other women who I'd inevitably end up crushing on kek. The last fandumb I was openly active in was ASOIAF/Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon. There are definitely more chill fandoms out there less concerned with cliques and which character is the least problematic but overall I have good memories of it and miss forming new friendships so easily. It does feel like if you're peaked you can never be completely honest about a lot of frequently discussed topics unless you're willing to risk losing people you care about.

No. 394209

>>394145
>>393934
I am someone who has experienced sexual trauma. I do still feel physical attraction to men, even though Im scared of actually having sex with one again. Anons do sound more like being lesbians, unless there used to be a clear attraction at some point? Remember there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian or being in lesbian relationships. Of course if you live in a homophobic country it will be more rough, but Im sure in many places you can find women who accept you as friends too.

No. 394348

>>394209
>unless there used to be a clear attraction at some point?

what constitutes as real attraction in your view?

No. 394504

File: 1714407961061.jpeg (57.23 KB, 828x684, IMG_8441.jpeg)

I don't really know where to put this thought but… being with men has made me crave an intimate and romantic relationship with a woman. My current bf is struggling with lying to me about his porn use and I have dealt with this issue with my ex as well. I ended up leaving him over it but I am living with my bf so I would be in an unstable situation. But something inside of me craves the genuine happiness and connection I would feel with a woman. I would genuinely not worry if I was loved or not because in my mind I could be with another radfem and I would be the happiest woman alive. I just don't know how to really process these thoughts. Am I normal? Is this a normal experience? I feel like I am not fulfilled with a man because I know he will always choose porn over me. I feel kind of lost.

No. 394524

>>394348
Sexual attraction. You can just feel it in your body when you look at attractive bodies of the sexes you like.

No. 394588

File: 1714432476237.gif (167.62 KB, 220x128, cassie.gif)

>>394524
>realizing i have never felt any sexual attraction to male bodies since the day i was born yet hung on to the bi label anyway

fuck

No. 394591

>>394588
Yeah I've seen this is common in some "bi" women. What I've seen it described as is that they can "fall in love" with men but never actually feel attracted to their bodies and sex eventually becomes a chore, etc. I don't believe in the split attraction model so I think these women are the ones who actually have comphet and idealize het romance, but end up in friendships with extra steps because they can never develop sexual attraction for the men they "love".

No. 394609

File: 1714440002241.jpg (13.3 KB, 305x309, cd6.jpg)

>>394591

sorry if i sound fucking retarded but why the air quotes around bi? do you mean women who are subconsciously lying to themselves and others that they are bisexual when they're actually not?

No. 394610

>>394609
Yes. These women are not actually bisexual if all they feel for men are platonic feelings.

No. 394626

>>394610
DA what if I'm kind of the opposite, as in sexually attracted to men but never seem able to develop proper feelings for them beyond a vague crush? I find it very hard to imagine myself spending my life with a man but I still feel I'm bi, just more SSA than OSA

No. 394637

I have a massive male lean (80 to 20% I'd say) and it makes me feel like some spicy straight attention seeker even though I never talk about my sexuality because it's nobody's fucking business. I don't even see the point in labeling myself anymore because I don't want to be associated with LGBT in its current state.

No. 394641

>>394626
Many women don't like men as people so it's actually more common than you think to not "fall in love" for them in the traditional sense. I think the confusion many women have about this stuff is that in a romantic relationship you (ideally) mix both platonic and sexual feelings, and possibly due to how female libido varies so much from woman to woman people read too many confusing experiences online. At the end of the day sexual orientation is about SEXUAL feelings, not your platonic feelings. You can feel sexually attracted to a certain sex but never develop those platonic feelings that paint the whole "traditional romantic relationship" picture. And if all you do is develop platonic feelings for people but not sexual attraction then it's just friendship.

No. 394645

>>394641
Also forgot to add to this, with how widespread pornography is on the Internet many people also develop a sort of "fake attraction" that might seem like sexual attraction at first sight but upon closer introspection they simply get turned on by the sexual act itself and not the people. So yes, this is confusing even to scrotes because they start popping boners at trannies getting sodomized and then think they are turning gay, so just imagine how confusing it is for some women that enjoy lesbian porn or women masturbating, but in reality they are just projecting themselves into being pleasured instead of getting turned on by female bodies and vaginas. Then mix this with being terminally online in twitter and you get pornsick people thinking they're LGBT due to porn and hugbox validation. I actually used to think a lot of women were bisexual before knowing this (maybe over 20%-30%), but thinking about it now those numbers are probably less than 5%. Real same-sex attraction is actually kinda rare.

No. 394779

>>394610
>>394641
>>394645

sorry for incoming sperg but i just came back to tell you thank you so much for breaking this down for me. i've finally accepted the reality that i am just not biologically wired to be sexually attracted towards males and that's okay. i've kept pretending and lying to everyone around me with the bi label, and tbh i've met so many kind hearted bi women in general that it's hard to feel like i have to walk away from such a sweet group.. but i can't keep lying anymore. i still feel like the lesbian community as a whole feels so shattered and splintered thanks to shit like gender freaks breaking in and endless discourse surrounding lesbian purity (whatever that means) and other bullshit, so i guess i have to just fly solo and rely on building a social network of people regardless of their orientation on things like shared interests, life goals, etc.

also, its actually insane how porn has rotted everyone's brains. i recall reading somewhere on a bi man's blog saying that he studied the phenomenon on quasi-bisexuality and how it often occurs in people who consume hardcore pornography over the years. and how it explains the existence of autogynephilic men pretending to be lesbians (heterosexual males) or straight women (homosexual males) due to overconsumption of porn. as well as confusing loads of straight women out there who think they're bi because the porn they saw turned them on despite never having any sexual arousal to real women in their everyday lives. and so it also explains lesbians who think they could be bi also because they've seen men in porn and contended themselves to look at it because, eh, why not, men are everywhere in porn anyway. if she didn't burst into flames seeing a naked man on the computer, surely that means she's totally straight, duh. its a bit like pavlov's dog, you reward your brain with looking at extreme images on a porn website with an orgasm and thus you liken the sight of sex with good feelings. the real test comes when you are facing people head on, and which biological sex do you actually feel aroused over in a normal situation - aka, no pornography playing in front of you.

so yes, absolutely, real same sex attraction is very rare.

No. 394780

>>394637

loads of lgb people are distancing themselves from anything "lgbtq+" related these days because it has gotten tremendously homophobic thanks to the t crowd. pride month is becoming straight pride month these days thanks to them.

No. 394800

>>394779
>it's hard to feel like i have to walk away from such a sweet group
Do you really have to? I feel like bisexuals are much more accepting of being wrong about your sexuality than lesbians. Since you do seem to bond with men I think you still have more in common with bisexual women experiences than lesbians. I would say don't distance yourself from your bisexual friends, maybe try to make some lesbian friends first and see how it goes. Slowly getting to know lesbian experiences can also make you feel more comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with a woman.

>if she didn't burst into flames seeing a naked man on the computer, surely that means she's totally straight

Women comparing their sexuality to men's always leads to disaster. The only reason men feel repulsion towards male bodies and homos is their insane anti-gay social conditioning. In reality in most cases when you're not attracted to a certain sex you just feel nothing, not outright disgust and repulsion, which is why this also confuses a lot of women when they don't feel repulsed by men or other women and think they might be bi or gay because of it.

But anyway, quitting porn, touching grass and having sex is definitely the cure for sexual confusion. Maybe even quit romance genres if you're obsessed with them (MLM/WLW) as I've seen that surprisingly these also warp women's perception of their sexual orientation

No. 394805

What’s the difference between “real” sexual attraction and “fake” sexual attraction?

No. 394809

>>394800
>Since you do seem to bond with men I think you still have more in common with bisexual women experiences than lesbians.

Not sure what you're trying to infer if anon literally just said she isn't sexually attracted to men? I do agree with the rest of your post, though, keeping bi friends is fine.

No. 394823

>>394805
Based on my experience
Personal:
>take immediate interest in that person even if you haven't even talked to them (this is one is the hardest to explain, it definitely feels different from platonic inter