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File: 1489546672286.jpg (51.22 KB, 800x496, c.jpg)

No. 56468

i know there's some kind of lgbt thread on here already, but bisexuality is always the one that gets the least focused attention. It's also probably the one that is taken least seriously in a way, because of so many attention seekers who fake it, and the fact that there are actually people who can't wrap their heads around it being an actual thing??

I'm like perfectly 50/50 bisexual. i have this huge, equal thirst for both body forms. (not to be confused with pansexuality, i'm talking about only being attracted to biological males and females)

discuss?

No. 56471

>>56468
>i'm talking about only being attracted to biological males and females

Honest question about that, isn't everyone a biological male or female? I guess some are somewhat ambiguous (intersexed) but for the most part if you're attracted to both sexes I don't get why you wouldn't be attracted to trans people or whatever.
I never got the distinction between pan or bi for that reason, I'm not a trans apologist or anything I'm pretty much a TERF just curious.

No. 56472

I think you're probably right. There certainly is little to no media attention, and just as you have mentioned, I have heard of it being faked for attention. What is your experience? Do people take you seriously?

No. 56474

i feel like i might be attracted to women sometimes but i just like men so much more so i hesitate in labeling myself with "bisexual" im not totally repulsed by the thought of dating or having sex with a woman but i dont think ill know unless i do it
not really interested in trans people

No. 56479

>>56474
I'm the same way, anon. I've definitely found women sexually and romantically attractive (come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I was aroused by women's bodies before men's) but my attraction to men is so much stronger I almost feel like I'd be leading people on if I said I was bi.

>>56471
I think the "pan" thing comes down to genitals I guess? Like you're into dudes with dicks and chicks with vaginas. It's kind of how I feel. If I were to go home with someone like pic related who passes extremely well as a man and then I found out they had a vagina, I feel like I'd probably be put off from having sex with them. It makes me feel like an asshole tbh.

No. 56480

File: 1489554362228.jpg (59.91 KB, 634x634, 2E88889C00000578-3322409-image…)

>>56479
dropped the picture, sorry

No. 56493

File: 1489598080695.gif (497.26 KB, 500x281, tumblr_mpcwl9Ndul1sodj7bo2_500…)

>i'm talking about only being attracted to biological males and females

That's not bisexuality then. Pansexuality is just something tumblr invented because they think bisexuals exclude trans people, but we don't. I find it really insulting that they decided to tell us what are sexuality is? We're attracted to people regardless of gender/genitals.


That aside, I'm glad there's a thread on bisexuality because it seems a lot of anons are bisexual. I do believe we're underrepresented in the media and because of that people spread all these horrible myths about us which just aren't true.

Gif is of my favourite, very openly bisexual actresss <3

No. 56494

I'm bisexual…I think? I'm mostly attracted to guys, but I'm definitely attracted to women and I have had several crushes on them. But the most I've done with a girl is kissing and childhood experimentation.

I would never tell anyone though, especially not a male partner. I feel like they would expect threesomes, and I am not into that.

No. 56495

>>56493
THANK YOU
I looked up today pan vs bi and what the difference is, there's literally none, it's just a more snowflaky sounding name

The older I am the more secure I am into my sexuality. I still (very very slightly) regret not experimenting with the same sex but it's okay because I'm happy with my current partner. My parents didn't really care when I came out to them, in fact my mother, who is more on the "old fashioned" side of seeing things sounded somewhat happy to hear it lol

I just wish people would take us more serious and actually acknowledge us. A lot of people seem to think less of our opinion because we're "only half gay/straight". Same thing with the media - gay or straight. Nothing else.

A year or two ago one of my favorite companies released a game where one of the main characters is bi. It's canon, confirmed by their official blog a d on the wiki. Yet people STILL decided that the character HAS to be gay. Or straight. Still bugs the shit out of me. I want more representation for us in games, too.

No. 56496

File: 1489601676987.jpg (169.8 KB, 500x747, tumblr_nwus3nd5gn1r5x742o1_500…)

I'm bisexual. And biromantic. I hate to have to say I'm also biromantic, but people like labels, and unfortunately, somehow most bi women I know IRL are only bi if they want to fool around/have sex every once in a while/experiment with other girls. So I kinda feel that I have to explain I'm not only into girls when I want fun sex or a hook-up, but that I also get romantically involved with them. It sucks, man. I agree with the other anon who talked about myths being untrue (we're overtly sexual, it's just a phase, people grow out of it, etc), but I do feel nervous when I develop feelings for a bi girl because I think she may leave me for a dude… Because it's happened before. Same with my best friend as well (a lesbian). I hate to say this but we've become wary of some "bi" girls… It's like you get super involved and in love with them just to get dumped when a man shows up. Yeah, I know not everyone is like this and I'm definitely not like this, and maybe you're not like this either, but this is my story and what I've seen.

No. 56498

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>>56468
I'm bisexual. I guess. I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more into women. In fact, pretty much the only guys I'm into are anime and video game characters. The last time I had a crush on a guy irl was years ago. But women are so much prettier and easier to fall in love with.
I wish it was the opposite. Getting into a straight relationship is easy, but finding other women into women is pretty much impossible here.

No. 56499

>>56496
Of course it can happen, no doubt. But I think it's somewhat unfair that people attach this only to bi people? No one's exactly stopping a gay person from doing the same thing?

No. 56501

File: 1489602641270.gif (939.12 KB, 500x250, tumblr_mrxx6jIBWv1szgqtlo1_500…)

>>56495
I think I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm in a very happy, long-term relationship with a man but I really regret not taking it further with women. I definitely think I'm more attracted to women; they're more thoughtful, beautiful, sensual, kind…just better lovers overall. It seems that most bisexuals/asexuals/w.e lean towards dating women too.

But yeah I can't deny that I would have fallen in love with anyone regardless of gender/sex and that's how I met my current boyfriend. I love being able to look past silly things and see the beautiful soul beneath.

No. 56502

>>56496
The girls you met were not bi, bisexual doesn't mean you're a sexual deviant. The girls you were with were likely straight and experimenting. It's really unfortunate that you had to deal with that and that there are idiots out there identifying as bi when they're not (thus making the rest of us look bad).

No. 56507

>>56493
Lol WRONG. I'm not attracted to trans people, etc. at all (i'm not transphobic tho). I am only sexually/romantically attracted to cis people of both genders. How is that not bisexual? What's it called then? to be sexually and romantically attracted to cis men and cis women, but not transgenders, transvestites, etc.?

if people like me exist, and people like you exist, then bi vs. pan is a real thing, not something invented by tumblr.

No. 56512

>>56499
Yes, definitely, it can happen to anyone regardless of sexual orientation, but most of the time who does that type of shit are 'bi' women. Maybe reality is just like >>56502 explained.
Many lesbians don't even want to date bi girls anymore because of this.
they were probably just experimenting, calling themselves bisexual and giving "actual" bi women a bad name (i typed actual between " because in the end who's to judge one's sexuality? I shouldn't. i'm doing it, but i know i shouldn't. still, of course i'm gonna judge someone who says they looove pussy and their current gf but dump them as soon as they get a D – more than once! it's hard to take them seriously)

just sharing two links related to the topic. they're not really serious, but if you're in a similar situation they may help:

https://www.quora.com/How-common-is-it-for-lesbians-to-refuse-to-date-a-woman-only-because-she-is-bisexual

https://consciousgirlfriend.com/help-always-fall-bi-women-leave-men/

https://bifurious.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/but-youll-leave-me-for-men-or-dont-make-your-penis-envy-my-problem/

No. 56514

>>56512
from one of said links. i couldve written this myself because its exatcly how i think, unfortunately:


Jason Gauthier, Aspiring Solicitor
Written 4 Jun 2014
I have had this discussion with one lesbian. Her view is that most bisexual girls are just straight girls with daddy issues.

This is similar to the prevalent view among straight women that most bisexual men are really gay.

If you're bisexual, (a lot of) women will always assume you're really interested in men.

Gay men, on the other hand, assume bisexual men are primarily interested in them.

Straight men, assume bisexual woman are primarily interested in them too.

This might speak to the relative states of self-confidence of each sex.

No. 56517

>>56495
Pansexual is not just a word some random on tumblr invented for their bio. pansexual is a real thing totally apart from bisexuality that you can find in all of the official English dictionaries, like Oxford and Collins. And it exists for a reason, to differentiate between people who are attracted to men and women (bisexual) from people who are in addition attracted to non-cis gender identities, which is a whole separate thing. Please don't spew ignorance just because you googled "pan vs bi" and probably read an unreliable source that didn't explain it properly. They are not the same thing, and they are not interchangeable.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/bisexual
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/pansexual

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/bisexual
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/pansexual

No. 56526

>>56507
but then isn't pansexuality itself oppressive? It's fetishizing trans people, by denying that trans people aren't male and female, like they want to be, and instead put them in their own category - or what?

Bi always just meant men or women, not "oh, I'm a male pansexual because my girlfriend has SWYER syndrome, so she's not actually cis." ??

No. 56527

>>56526
I guess I had a stroke at the end and deleted half of my sentence at the end there.

Bi always meant men or women, not anything else to me. I don't see why someone feels the need to categorize their sexuality that much further, as to differentiate between androgynous people, intersex people, or trans people - seems dehumanizing to me, since I have an intersex condition. My husband is straight, not pan - see how silly this sentence reads? -> continue "on, I'm a male pansexual…"

No. 56529

File: 1489626247131.gif (491.22 KB, 500x281, tumblr_inline_mygu70T8hL1qc326…)

Pansexuality isn't a new concept but it's only really been brought into fashion recently. I'm not going to label myself with a fashionable sexuality. I've been calling myself bisexual for years and I'm comfortable with it, I don't need to change because some trans people on tumblr are screaming to change the definition of my sexuality.

Traditionally, the word "bisexual" has been used for what people are describing above. Promoting the idea of "pansexuality" is disrespectful towards bisexuals imo as it assumes that NO bisexuals are attracted to trans people (while in my experience talking to other bisexuals, is not true). If you're not, you could state that you're trans-exclusive if it's that big of a deal to you, but even that doesn't make sense to me. If you're attracted to men and women, their genitals and appearance matching shouldn't be an issue because it's implied you like BOTH.

I think all these tumblr trans trenders are annoying but it's silly to assume you're not attracted to any of them based on your experience of tumblrinas. I know plenty of normal trans people irl who are lovely and I've definitely crushed on some of them. It's different when you know someone in real life and you're familiar with their personality.

At the end of the day, I don't like people telling bisexuals what exactly their sexuality is (when it's theirs to define for themselves) and forcing another label upon them. There are enough myths about us and we get enough hate from both straight and LGBT circles so let's not force this silly "pansexual" thing.

No. 56530

>bi thread
>pan discourse
lmao

No. 56541

>>56529
>genitals shouldn't matter

Yeah nah, girl. I support trans people, but I would not be totally indifferent to genitals.

No. 56544

>>56543
I've seen some very normal looking post up vaginas, but i feel sorry for the FTM crowd. Can they even actually get a penis? That works?

No. 56560

>>56558
Still feel sorry for them.

back on topic I would like to say though, I'm not really feeling all this abloobloo poor us bisexuals not getting talked about stuff. Honestly, most of us, unless single, will pass for either gay or straight either way and I honestly don't feel like we're being oppressed in any way. with all the weird shit people want normalized today, like being space gender or whatever, being bisexual is like being agnostic. you tell people and they 9/10 times go "oh, aight, so what's for dinner"

I can't speak for every bisexual person ofc, but that's just my personal opinion. We're fine.

No. 56568

>>56543
I wasn't talking about transsexuals, just transgenders. I personally think mutilating bodies is gross.

No. 56573

>>56468
I'm bi but basically a virgin with girls. Not that I had many male partners so the math adds up, as about 3% of the female population is gay.

I feel bad for calling myself bi when all I did was slightly fool around but never had proper sex or a relationship with a girl. Still I like girls in a different way than men but it just seems so hard to get in a relationship with one (it's already hard as it is with men and it's way easier to tell when one is interested, or potentially interested).

I went about 3 years with no sex/no relationship after my first breakup and I'm not even considered ugly so Idk what to do, or how to do it. I tried online dating, I tried hanging out in gay bars. I just look at women in the streets and wish they were as much gay women as straight ones bc holy hell it's HARD.

>>56544
FTM are really shit out of luck for now, I hope we find a way to make real or cyborg dicks in the future :( Though I'd be down to date a ftm if they still had their vagina

No. 56590

I get turned on by girls sexually and I masturbate to lesbian porn and pics of naked girls but I'm not really into girls romantically. I can only picture myself with like a super butch girl but hot non-sjw butches are rare and I can't be fucked coming out to my family so why bother?

No. 56591

>>56590
Then don't I guess what's the point unless you're actually in a relationship with another girl? Why do you need to come out ?

No. 56592

I don't disagree that biphobia is a problem but it's mostly just misconceptions not "hatred". It's totally different from homophobia.

For example.. people hate lesbians not because they like women, the problem is that they don't like men.

And I guess at least bisexuals have a bit of a choice and that riles some peoples' jimmies too. Or those that are like married with the opposite sex and monogamous who feel oppressed for some reason like they should get a cookie for liking the same sex but getting all the privileges of straight people…

No. 56593

Essentially my problem with the "biphobia" movement is the people who are in heterosexual relationships but feel "opressed" because their same-sex attraction isn't acknowledged. Why is that anyone's business except your partner?
Basically they want the label of a victim (homosexual discrimination) but they don't actually suffer from it, in fact they benefit from being in a straight relationship. It's a bit of a slap in the face for people in gay relationships.

No. 56595

>>56591
I don't need to come out, I was trying to say that's why I avoid lesbian relationships.

No. 56596

>>56595
Sorry, I misunderstood. Yeah I get how that could be shitty.

No. 56600

>>56593
I'm not sure if I got this right since English isn't my first language and I suck at making structured sentences but here it goes.
The reason people feel "discriminated" against is because they don't want people to think they're straight, because they're not. There probably are idiots who want to play "victim" but others don't want to be reduced to being "just straight" or to be told their opinions don't matter in the community simply because they're in a het relationship. Bisexuals who are in hetero relationships aren't straight. Sure, they don't get the same shit as gay people, obviously, but you can't really deny the fact that they're not straight.

(I feel like I just wrote the same sentence 3 times fml)

No. 56605

>>56600
I'm bi and this is exactly how I feel.
The problem isn't that I feel discriminated against because people don't know I also like pussy, it's that gay people treat me completely straight. I get that my experiences are different to that of a gay person, but they're not straight experiences either. They don't go away just because I'm dating a guy.
I don't want any special treatment, I just want it to be acknowledged that I'm not straight, but it feels like bi people are seen more as allies than members of the lgbt+ menagerie

No. 56610

>>56593
Yeah, I don't think you understand. From my personal experience, I've been left out of LGBT meet-ups, nights out, groups because the LGT people I know don't believe in bisexuality (like straight up just don't believe it's real). I've had lesbians tell me that they could never date me because I've been with a man before. My LGT friends will constantly refer to me as "straight" despite me correcting them every single time and when they make jokes/gossip about straight people, then look in my direction like I'm supposed to react negatively. They'll purposefully bring up a topic related to LGBT issues, turn to me and say "Sorry, we'll wait until you're gone". The friends of someone I was dating asked her to break up with me because I was "going to leave her for a man" one day. When I was going out with women, I was essentially praised by my LGT friends "omg so proud of youuu~!" but the moment I started dating a man they instantly reverted back to calling me "straight". My mother told me that I was not welcome in our house anymore if I turned out to be a lesbian but despite that, straight people have actually been kinder and more respectful towards me than the community I'm supposedly a part of.

It's a little more than "boo hoo why won't people recognize my sexuality!" It's about feeling isolated and repeatedly having people disrespect you. It's about people in the LGBT community blatantly spreading lies about us (which are the same lies homophobes spread about gay people, ironically "They can choose their sexuality!" "It's just a phase!" "They're dirty!" "They're faking it for attention!" I guess the bullied can't help but become bullies themselves :)) Can't imagine what these people said behind my back if this is the kind of stuff they said to my face.

The fact is that bisexuals get hate from both sides because straight people think we're gay and gay people think we're straight. For some reason, there are people who can't imagine that someone can be both. We don't feel welcome anywhere.

No. 56611

>>56600
I like the way you think, anon. I've never had a same-sex relationship and I've never bothered telling my partners I'm bi because it would create an overhead at times. It was not denial tho, if people would ask me, I would tell them what I am right away!

The relationships never quite look like an average straight one and I never managed to keep one for as long as a few months. Maybe that's one of the reasons heheh

No. 56615

I'm 21, in a great relationship with a man, but I crave women sometimes. Is this normal?

I've never felt this way before and it makes me feel guilty/confused.

No. 56616

>>56615
It's totally fine and you shouldn't feel guilty for experiencing attraction to other people either male or female, it's not like our ability to be attracted to various people disappears when we are in a good relationship. It's just a matter of staying faithful and so as long as you aren't going and fooling around with women behind his back, then you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about.

No. 56618

Im bi in a straight relationship, so everyone assumes im straight. I dont mind it and i dont mention my sexuality unless someone directly asks. The amount of shit bisexuals get from both gays and straight people makes me a little ashamed of my own sexuality, i feel like people assume im unfaithful/pretending to be bi for attention/whatever so its easier to just pass as straight.
But its not a big deal to me, i dont feel like my sexuality defines me in any way and i dont really get why people make such a huge deal about their sexualities ever. But eh, ive always been a little disinterested in sex in general so maybe i just dont get it.

No. 56619

Maybe the whole 'bi girls go straight eventually' thing is a myth, but if it does happen as much as people say it does, it might also be a product of internalised misogyny and homophobia. We can all agree that being straight or apparently straight makes your life a hell of a lot simpler, and we're constantly told that women don't have 'real' sex with each other, and girlfriends are just 'really good friends', and so on. I'm reluctant to believe all women identifying as bi are dick-worshipping traitors.

No. 56620

>>56619
Its also a hell of a lot easier to find a male partner, bigger dating pool

No. 56621

>>56620
>>56619
Which is probably where the "bi girls go straight", that anon mentioned comes from.
Not to mention the gays who don't want to date us becase we're bi, so
..yea.

No. 56722

>>56619
I feel like it's >>56620 and just the ease of hitting traditional milestones with a hetero relationship that make them more likely in the end. Things might change now that it's easier for gay couples to get married and have kids etc, but I always saw myself ending with a man just because then it's easier to do those traditional things that people feel they need to do when they get older(and then an old lesbian after my kids grow up and I divorde kek)
This is bitchy, but I also haven't met a girl which I would trust to trust me to spend forever with, because of the 'bi girls always go straight' cliche there are always going to be trust issues in a ff relationship. But a man will just see it as normal and expected that you will stay

No. 56769

>>56610
This is exactly how it feels like.

It really sucks that the same people who scream "homophobia!" at the minimal chance then do this kind of shit (when they supposedly know how it feels like).

The worst part is that you can't call them out on this or you are bigot. Fuck I can't stand the LGT community's bullshit. There are some lesbians who are really cool people but most of the ones I met have a visceral hatred against bi/het women and I personally can't stand them anymore. I don't trust them.

No. 56795

>>56769
I mean, you can call them out. But they'll start screeching and play the victim card

I only recently started to get involved in the community and some people are really sweet but damn the amount of people thinking we're "liars" or just heteros trying to be special is pretty big

No. 60680

i don't mind the person's sex or gender as long as they're nice, interesting and attractive to me. i guess that makes me "pansexual", but i always call myself bi to not sound snowflakey. yet i haven't had a chance to get with many people of the same sex and that makes me feel like an impostor. LGBT friends and people implying the same thing doesn't help either. anyone had a similar experience?

No. 60681

>>60680
me too anon. i don't want to have to explain pansexuality to normies so bi is easier even though i could go for anyone tbh. your sexuality isn't 'fake' because you haven't been with a lot of same-sex partners (not sure if guy or girl) - my only sexual experience with girls thus far has been very abusive yet i still know that i'm attracted to them.

it's a double-edged sword - you sleep with people of both sexes, you fit thhe typical bi slut stereotype. you don't, well, you're not a legit bisexual then and you won't be until you do. try to ignore everyone else because you know what/who you like and nobody can tell you otherwise.

personally i seem to be more attracted to the idea of femininity - girls, feminine guys, cute guys, even drag queens. super macho burly men have never been my type.

No. 60683

>>60681

are you me? i'm attracted to feminine or androgynous people too. no offense to butch ladies (some of them are legit gorgeous) but big burly manly men are just sort of… meh to me? like, if they're nice, sure, but it's never a preference or a plus.

i agree with you on other counts too. we do we.

No. 60688

>>60681
Same thing here anon.
I'm bi (well pan, but say be for the same reason as you) and I've been with my bf for 6 years now. Every time sexuality comes up people roll their eyes or don't believe me because I've never been with a girl.

Sucks, but you know better what you like than others. You do you.

No. 60695

>>60688
Same with a boyfriend of 3 years, but people always believe my sexuality because I look like a butch stereotype lol.

That being said, pansexuality is stupid. It implies bisexual people are emotionless sluts who don't value being nice/interesting. Obviously anyone looking for a partner wants someone with good qualities. The only difference between a straight person and you is which genders are eligible.

Pan also has a bad rap for a reason…tons of liberal straight girls use it to seem "accepting". Identifying as pan also takes away the sex side of sexuality - making it about your big heart or whatever, so of course women will jump on that, since they're constantly shamed for anything indicating they're sluts/enjoy sex.

No. 60742

>>60681
>>60683
I'm the same as you two. This leads to me getting attracted to and catching feelings for gay men (mostly twinks), though, which will never not be soul crushing. It's just my luck that I'm always interested in gay men or straight girls.

>>60695
I don't understand the need to have an entirely different word. The chances I'm going to meet let alone date a trans or intersex person are very small. That leaves me with cis men and women, the same as 99% of bi/pan people. No matter the case the person I'm with is going to identify as a man or a woman, so what's the point in clarifying "Yeah I'd fuck/date a trans person if I had the chance". What? It's just a stupid game of semantics and pedantics. Not to derail the thread or anything but if there's an actually good reason for the pansexual label I'd like to know it.

No. 60743

>>60742
I think anon posted something about it here that explains it better. Haven't really bothered to read it tho. >>56517

No. 60758

>>60742
>>60743
A bisexual is attracted to cisgendered men and women. Pansexuals are attracted to every type of body, whether it be a cisgendered person, a transperson's body (Which can be inbetween transitions, and a transitioned body sexually isn't 100% the same, at least for FTMs it's not, mtf vaginas i can't tell the difference with).
Plus it also adds intersexed persons (hermaphrodites), and possibly people with sexual deformities (like the chick with two vaginas).

I'm bisexual and I am not attracted to transpersons.

For me this is mostly about the baggage though. Every trans person I have befriended or gotten into any form of relationship with has been hell to deal with. I mean, it's logical they're going to have a little more baggage in terms of self worth and appearance than your average person. That's a given.

But my worst experience kinda shows what I mean. This was a transgirl. I met her online just looking for friends but I guess despite being trans, the man side of her that said "Friends means we can FUCK" was kicking in because day one she was trying to get me into more shit.
I was going through a lot of depression at the time and was dressing down a lot. Not really wearing anything to make me stand out (So a t-shirt and jeans most of the time with a hoodie) and my hair was cut short so i didn't have to deal with it.
So maybe she thought I was masculine and shit or maybe she was projecting her sexual desires onto me.

But she insisted I get on top when we were dry humping and treat her like the girl (i.e. hump against her ass like I had a dick).
I obliged at first (dear god being the guy sucks if you're not fit or can't autopilot like guys do) but it quickly got more and more out of hand.

She'd keep putting me down a lot and would always come back with "GURL I"M A HONEYBADGER YOU CAN'T BRING ME DOWN" when all i asked her was to stop asking me to be a guy.

As someone who was struggling with self esteem issues in a different way (i.e. being a cisgendered girl who felt masculine and ugly) it was really difficult, and her utter unwillingness to understand how I felt because she experiences more difficulties being herself and "doesn't give a shit" about it just crushed me.

Aside from her I have only had one good experience even being friends with a transgendered person (I'm sorry but too many FTMs are either fake, or still act like fakeassbitches despite wanting to be masculine).


The last reason is that I have trouble seeing some transgendered people as the gender they want to be. For example, I had a massive crush on a transmale (the one good one as said above) but I never pursued it because I realized I didn't see him as a him, I saw him as a boyish girl (and god do i love boyish girls) and i thought that was too disrespectful to be able to pursue a relationship..and that's usually what it is in the end for me. I get attracted to a transperson for what they are physically rather than the gender they feel they are, and would lose attraction to them if they changed.


Add the fact that most FTM trannies at least are just too ugly to be considered girls and are all glued to tumblr and I just can't do it, I'm too shallow.

So that's why I find a difference between the terms.

No. 60782

>>60742
there are a lot of people who don't want to be with someone who's had HRT or surgery, or even not being able to enjoy their partner's body how it currently is (may trans people don't really want to be treated as their biological sex during intercourse). that's why the need for the word.
i personally have a huge problem with body modification of any kind, so i wouldn't be able to be with someone who was post op or post HRT trans. pansexuals are accepting of those kinds of things.

pansexuals are not better or worse than bi people, like tumblr would have you believe it's just another sexuality. like any other sexuality, it's important in certain situations, such as dating sites, to let someone else know whether you're interested in them or not. in my case i want people to know i am uncomfortable physically with trans people.

the stigma around being bi comes from porn and pop culture. a lot of men are attracted to multiple women being together, and with them, so the portayal of bi people in the media is really centered around sex. couple that with experimentation and then it gets worse. similar stigmas exist for lesbians and gays but i think being bi is more accessible. the idea that you'd want to have sex with a guy and also a girl is arousing to alot of people, which sucks, but not everyone feels that way, and working towards normalizing different sexuality in the media will correct this problem eventually.

the real problem is with tumblr and the stigma around non-pansexuals. when i was on dating sites i would often get harassing or threatening messages from tumblr-types about being transphobic and it's really unfair. those people try to dictate other people's sexuality and at the same time claim to be more accepting. i even have trouble with my current boyfriend's circumcision because i am uncomfortable wth genital modification, for someone to tell me to be okay with something even more extreme is terrible. i don't understand why people act that way.

No. 60837

Why are people debating bisexuality vs pansexuality in a thread dedicated to bisexuality? There is a small difference between the two which is hotly debated, we get it. Start a new thread if you dislike bisexuals that much.

I'm bisexual. I've fallen for guys. I've fallen for gals. I've fallen for people who don't identify as either. I've fallen for people who identify as both. I like penises. I like vaginas. Haven't seen one but I'm sure I'd like a hermaphrodite's genitals too if I got along with them. In fact idgaf what genital's my partner has because at the end of the day I enjoy satisfying them whatever they have or whatever clothing they wear. Why? Because a person's body or dress preference doesn't dictate my attraction to them and to claim it does means you've a very basic understanding of attraction. It's so much deeper than that.

From what I've gathered here, people who are bisexual and exclude trans people only do so because trans people are, in general, hard to get on with. That's mostly thanks to tumblr crazies who aren't genuine cases. Maybe it's because I'm older than some here, but I've met plenty of sane, attractive trans people my age. One day the people above might meet a trans person who isn't a transtrender and find themselves attracted to them (they don't seem to be claiming that they don't find them physically unattrative. Attraction is more than just physical appearance!) but for now they avoid them and that's okay to me. That doesn't make their sexuality any less valid and to point at these people and claim that all bisexuals exclude all trans people just because some bisexuals are sick of transtrenders is ridiculous.

If a bisexual person decided to only date people of the opposite sex in order to protect themselves from violence? You wouldn't question their sexuality over that. If a bisexual person decided to only date people of the same sex because they have bad experiences with the opposite sex? You wouldn't question their sexuality over that.
Why do you suddenly question their sexuality and force people to adopt a different name for their sexuality based on a particular preference? We don't ask people who have any other kind of preference for hair colour or race or a partner with a certain income or weird kinks to adopt a new name for their sexuality, so why do people pick on bisexuals?
To bring the conversation back to something relevant, who is your favourite fictional bisexual?

No. 60844

>>60837
this is ridiculous, call yourself pan, that's what you are. labels are there so other people can understand you, not so you can define them yourself. bi means two and pan means all, that's why the terms aren't the same. trans people aren't really their biological gender, and they're at risk for violence if the person is really transphobic, and shock! bi people can be transphobic. in any case i think you missed alot of the real argument here is that people are butthurt by tumblrtards saying that being bi is wrong somehow, which like >>60782 said, it's not. they also explained that they can't physically deal with post-op trans bodies, which isn't at all what you said.

you sound like part of the problem, bi and pan have their place.

No. 60851

File: 1495073032555.gif (1.94 MB, 720x548, fTTvPAw.gif)

not to sound like a total fucking shut-in, but is anyone else only attracted to 2d men and real women? i've posted in the husbando thread a few times, but when it comes to real men, i couldn't be more repulsed. idk if this means i'm actually bisexual or not.

definitely into to other women, though.

No. 60853


No. 60858

>>60851

very relatable but the big difference is i started identifying as a lesbian because of this. my girlfriend is also the same, we talk about how cute some 2D guys are but then when it comes to irl men unless theyre really fucking super hot we're disinterested, ive met a few other lesbos who feel this way too

also before anyone gets triggered for a lesbian posting here i was reading through this thread to try and be a better ally and just thought i'd chime in since more perspective is better sometimes

No. 60878

>>60851
I'm the opposite, but can relate to you anon.

I find 2d and 3d men hot, although I'm not that interested in sex, so judge men primarily on personality + money.

With 2d girls though, lol, I can definitely form crushes. 3D doesn't work for me though.

No. 60892

>>60851
I think it's because it's the whole "perfect fictitious man" thing. Like you know how the character acts and when there isn't anything canonically you can fill in the gaps with your own fantasies and theoretically you can't be wrong because it's not a real character.

Whereas 3d men are complete wildcards. You don't know what they're thinking or what they can do, and so many men are so scummy that you think they aren't worth it.

3d women on the other hand are less of a mystery. You (to some level) know and can relate to other women so they are comfy and nice, so you can actually see yourself befriending and maybe even dating one.

No. 60959

>>60851
I'm the same, though i tend to be attracted to 3D men more than 3D women. I prefer 2D either way.

No. 60966

File: 1495174276840.jpg (6.41 KB, 223x235, 645645423.jpg)

>>60851
Definitely know what you mean. In my case, I think it might have a lot to do with what >>60892 said.

I'm in a long term relationship with a guy that's not going that great, and I think that has made my attraction to women and 2D men even worse. I find myself accidentally comparing him to fictitious guys and wishing I could be with a woman instead.

No. 61000

>>60966
dump him and get a qt gf instead

No. 61905

any tips for girls who want to meet girls? the local gay scene is made up almost entirely of angry, excessively political people who all know each other and have huge drama between them. a good number of the lesbians are butches who think acting like men and boasting with "pumping and dumping" people is a medal of honor. i'm vary of dating apps/sites but i'm open to suggestions.

No. 61915

>>61905
I can't give anything helpful, but I can warn away from tinder in trying to meet other women. when i was set to male and female, just so many guys being like " so you fuck girls haha ;)" and girls wouldn't speak to me. When I was set to just women, they still wouldn't speak to me. good luck, anon!

both myself and my boyfriend are bi, and while I've been with girls he's never been with a man. He sometimes acts like a bit of a muscle twink in bed and wants me to peg him. I've never had my validity questioned but I've never tried to involve myself heavily in the LGBT scene locally because I never had much issue coming to terms with my own sexuality and now, I know I'd be excluded for being " straight-passing"
Think we'll go to pride next year tho with my gay aunty and her wife, after they get married

No. 61924

>>61915
Is it just me thinking it's really hard to meet girls when you're bi and kinda outgoing already ? I'm ashamed because I literally never had sex with a woman, or had a serious relationship with one so I feel like my validity as a bi is null.

I tried dating apps, putting my sexuality as bi and messaging a ton of girls on okcupid (the amount of unicorn hunters, fake profiles and "sapiosexual-demisexual" is astounding), tried gay only dating apps etc …
Girls are either sjws with that dumb miniature bangs haircut and grandma glasses tumblr look, angsty as fuck or simply flaky. Or trans, cool…

And in the meantime I continue to go out and get hit on by really cool decent men, with a stable life and handsome at that.

I really want to try dating girls but it's such a fucking hurdle. The amount of girls who are bi or lesbian in the area is already fucking low but you have to take out the uglies, the couples, the polyamouros and the anxiety riddled ones.

No. 61926

>>61924
>really want to try dating girls

This is a big part of the reason you are getting ignored. Lesbians want to be with girls who date girls for real, not girls who just want to try it for the sake of trying and bi cred.

No. 61927

>>61926
and they can be rather biphobic

No. 61928

>>61927
nobody owes anybody sex. and lesbians don't have to settle for being objectified by girls wanting to try~ them.

No. 61930

>>61915
>>61926
what are you getting aggro for? if they're bi, they're obviously attracted to women, they're not trying to date them just for the hell of it.

No. 61931

>>61930
>they're not trying to date them just for the hell of it.

Anon literally said "I feel like my validity as a bi is null" because she has no experience with women,
and went on to follow it with "I really want to try dating girls" but she can't because apparently ~all girls suck~ (uglies, couples, polyamouros and anxiety riddled) whereas ~all boys who hit on her are "cool decent men"~

Bi women like this give all bi women bad reputation.

No. 61932

>>61924
Hey-yo, I feel u bro.
The dating pool for lesbians is so small in most communities that they're rightfully shitty about bi women lovin' and leavin' em for men which happens more often than you think.
It is hard for bi women though, most of my friends are lesbians and they're always defending me from other lesbians who delightfully call me a cock-sucker at clubs lmao. My friends know me though, they know I'm not just a college girl looking to experiment and then go "this is hard, my parents cut me off so I'm gonna get a boyfriend instead, bye" because I've been part of the community for so long.
I've talked to them about this before though, that if you attack every fresh-faced young girl experimenting with her sexuality then that pool's going to get even smaller. I have a friend who turned out to be a lesbian that almost got MARRIED to a guy because she was told so often that she was faking it. Luckily she met a lovely gay woman and they're really happy together.
Idk, I'm on the lesbians' side because of all the bull they have to put up with but the sad baby bi inside me just wants to beg everyone to stop chasing kids off.

No. 61944

I'm not really romantically interested in people and I'm not monogamous either, so lesbians don't have to worry about me being a cocksucking traitor because I'm not leaving anybody for anybody.

No. 61945

What bi stereotype do you guys think is the worst? For me, I think the stereotype that we'll all inevitably cheat on our partners hurts the most, but I don't really care if people think I'm a slut because I'm bi otherwise.

No. 61947

>>61931
I mean there are less lesbians/bi girls than straight men. And it sounds like anon's standards for girls she'll date are quite specific (possibly too high), so that narrows the pool even further. But she didn't generalise at all about either gender, she just described her options currently. I probably wouldn't date her though lmao

No. 61948

>>61905
tinder tbh. i've never tried it myself, but i'd imagine girls meeting girls is probably less potentially risky than meeting guys. i mean this was always my fall-back plan if i ever wanted to meet a girl.

No. 61949

I knew I was bisexual when my friend decided to screw with me when we were in our early teens and kissed me and lead me on. I fell in love and she ended up being straight, labelling herself bisexual for attention online from guys… It took a few years to get over her. Other females that claimed they were bi were not genuine. When I asked about relationships with them they'd say "Ew. Sex with women" types of things.

One real lesbian who was interested in me for a few years ended up being put off because her friend who was also a bisexual woman, told her lies to get her for herself.

I have had troubles trying to get a girlfriend who is genuine. Right now I'm with a male now and he said I could have a girlfriend if I wanted to while being in a relationship with him but honestly I feel like if I had a girlfriend. I would just want to be hers. No one else's​ and vice versa. I'm a 1 person, person. My mind is so confused. I do favor women more than men. Each female I have met though just end up being straight women who just toy with me and my emotions. I'm not a stupid person, I'm cautious with relationships, but I feel so stupid each time I was lead on to believe something serious could have been only to find out the truth.

No. 61950

File: 1496178481607.jpg (46.27 KB, 640x372, 16584985_302832876799726_69787…)

Is anyone here resigned to the fact that you'll probably never be with a girl? my taste in girls fits in with what you call a "lipstick lesbian", a feminine girly girl who likes other feminine girly girls. This is weirdly very rare?? like two chicks with dresses and makeup and high heels and everything. you see it a lot in porn, but not irl. In fact the ONLY example I've ever seen is petitepasserine and nicholael. I envy that SO MUCH. But I'm already in my 20's and my desire to have a baby with a guy is much stronger than my desire to be in an intimate relationship with a girl like this. I don't plan to be a mom who has a relationship on the side unless it's bio dad either. I just don't like the thought of step-parents/mommy's boyfriend/girlfriend. So me being bisexual will probably go to waste.

No. 61956

>>61932
Thanks, I totally understand that bi suspicion. It sucks and I don't blame lesbians for it, they already face enough and I get how hard it is to find someone when your dating pool is restricted. If a girl told me she wouldn't date me because I sucked cock before I'd be hurt but to me it's kind of rejecting someone because they slept with too many people, that's their own choice.

>>61931
I never said I never had any experience with women. Unfortunately the only gay girls I found so far were pretty far up their own asses so it never went all the way to bed or after a few dates. Or I'm the unluckiest bastard on earth because I end up with butch girls who want to be the typical Chad and screw as many girls as possible. Not that I haven't been offered a gay threesome but it's not my thang.

> ~all girls suck~ (uglies, couples, polyamouros and anxiety riddled) whereas ~all boys who hit on her are "cool decent men"~

Nah son, how about I'm decently attractive, funny and am confident enough to socialize with people easily ? I worked a lot on that and my friend's group is relatively big.

I'm just saying, ~my~ own problem is that I want to date girls but girls my taste don't show up as often as guys my taste, what's so hard to get about it ? I'm attracted to girls but when a dude with a stable situation, funny, respectful and handsome shows up I don't exactly want to put him in the "wait til I try and find the girl version of you"-zone.

>>61947
Thanks, I don't mind being told snobby or dickish for having standards, but you got the point though. I was probably a bit harsh and venting but it's not like I didn't set up several dating profiles, some on girls only websites, went on dates and navigate through the fakes, the hunters and the flakes. If I merely tried to have a college experience I wouldn't go through that for years.

No. 61957

File: 1496183719719.jpg (63.31 KB, 750x367, download.jpg)

My one weakness are career women/confident professionals who look in charge but still feminine.

My portfolio management lecturer almost fits the bill but she's a bit too Ellen DeGeneres for my taste. One time I saw the most gorgeous banker at my college's career fair and she was so pretty and kind I couldn't stop thinking about her for months.

I wish I had an older female mentor gf, but older women never seem to be into those kinds of relationships, not even professionally. They always see younger females/female professionals as competition (or so I've been told), which is sad because I just… don't. I always respect and revere them. And want to suck on their tits while they pet my head. No homo.

No. 61961

File: 1496184864940.png (806.79 KB, 1200x675, 1484259885202.png)

>>61950
Same situation with me. But I prefer girls so much more than guys. I'll probably be alone, I guess, unless I move to a big city like NYC where there's probably more girly girls.

No. 61977

>>61950
me, im v feminine/girly/smol but only less fem girls coo over me
meanwhile I get so flushed when i interact w/ another smol cute girl and fantasize

No. 61992

>>61950
I know the feels anon, I've seen two girly lesbo couples in real life but girls dont like me

No. 61997

>>61930
not sure why you tagged me? I wasn't saying those girls who didn't reply weren't lesbian/ bi. I was just saying that tinder didn't work at all for me when it came to girls, no matter whether I put myself as bisexual or tried only to meet women

No. 62012

>>61915
In Tinder you can't see the other person's sexuality, it only shows photos and bio. It's weird that guys told you that, are you sure it wasn't another site?
In Tinder I always find some beautiful girls tbf, it's the best dating app at least in my area (the other one is Wapa but it's full of fake profiles, butch girls and crazies - not my cup of tea). The only thing is that only few of them actually reply. A lot of them only press like, match, but don't talk back. It's weird

No. 62094

>>61945

that it's not a valid sexuality, it's a phase and/or bi people are doing it for attention.

No. 62410

My status has always confused me, in the sense that I fancied girls way earlier than I fancied boys and I find way more women attractive than I do men, but I've slept with/dated more men? Idk it might just be that the dating pool is a lot smaller for various reasons, as other farmers have mentioned, so I've ended up with more guys because more options.

As for bisexuality/pansexuality being the same thing, I don't really think it is. I wouldn't date a trans person, not because I don't like both sexes, but because I wouldn't want to deal with the personality that goes with it. I don't really believe in "transgender" unless it follows onto being actually transsexual, which it doesn't seem to that often! I cba with gender politicians, it's just not for me. I respect other people's identities, but it doesn't mean I want to date/sleep with them. I wouldn't date a religious person either, for this reason. Also, if I'm dating someone who looks like a trad bio male, I most likely want a dick when I get down there, so…

tldr; I think having separate names for people who would happily date trans people is helpful for those in the dating pool. Stops potentially upsetting conversations, at least!

No. 62411

>>60837
Someone's body or dress preference may not be the basis of a long-lasting attraction, but I believe it's at least a reasonable part of many people's initial attraction to someone. You don't need to talk down to people who's attraction doesn't work the same way as yours, you're not the dating council.

Maybe some people just want to be differentiated because it's easier for them? It's not necessarily about questioning people's sexuality, just about navigating the situations where knowing someone's sexual preference is important. If a trans person could know from one polite descriptive word that they had a chance (or not), would that not be a good thing?

You just sound like an angry control freak. Yes, I'm sure if people on here met a trans person that changed their mind, they'd go for it. People on here don't like bisexuals because they're engaging in a discussion on a fucking messageboard about bisexual identity? Sure. Like, chill out, don't take it so personally.

Sage for non-contribution!

No. 62417

lesbians
>bisexual women are actually straight
>i know this because I've never seen a bisexual girl dating another girl
also lesbians
>oh I'd never date a bisexual woman
Do they really not see the irony?

No. 62424

>>62417
bisexual girls can date one another, no need to use lesbians not wanting you as an excuse for not dating women.

No. 62425

File: 1496805910850.gif (437.79 KB, 320x240, unnamed (6).gif)

Okay, question and I'd like farmers opinions on it:

I've been attracted to girls since my teens. My first time having sex was with one. One of the people I've loved the most, and really left me heartbroken was also a girl.
So yeah, i don't like labels, but if I really need one I guess I've always been bisexual and biromantic.
I got the Kinsey test for fun (because lots of people say it's biased) and I got a perfect 50/50.

But anyway, the older I get, the less interested I am in women. I've always thought I really didn't care about one's private parts: if I love you or/and if I am attracted to you, that's it and fuck it if you have a penis or a vagina. And sometimes my interest in people would vary according to the person I was seeing: I'd barely even notice women around if I was fancying a guy, and vice versa. But those "I'm so gay/straight" days never lasted much and I'd go back to my normal of being attracted to both men and women shortly after.

Why am I talking so much, ugh…
But yeah, I feel like my love and sexual desire for girls has really died. I hate thinking this because I don't want to think it was just a long lasting phase, but maybe… it was? I am 24 now.

I can't see myself with a girl anymore because I don't feel interested in them. Or attracted to them. At all. Trust me, I've tried meeting new girls and it just seems meh and like I'm forcing myself to do something I don't really want to do just to prove myself wrong. I don't really watch much porn, but when I do it's lesbian – still it feels like I do it out of habit, and because most PIV porn seems to hurt as fuck.

Can my interest in women only pop up in me again in many years down the road if I meet the right lady?

If it was really a long phase, then how do I know it was (or not) one?

I know all of this seems like an unimportant thing, and that time will tell, but it's been bothering me so fucking much because I was really comfortable knowing who I was, and with the idea of knowing what I wanted… but now I feel like I don't know anything about myself and need to revaluate everything again.

Tl;dr not sure if I just had a really long bi phase or not, and i want to know if not liking/being attracted to women anymore is normal and comes in sparse cycles.

No. 62430

>>62424
It's not an excuse, I'm just pointing out the irony

No. 62431

>>62425
I went/am going through something similar. My first relationship was with a girl, my first time having sex was with her, I consider her probably my "purest" love, etc.

As it stands, I'm not really sure of my sexuality. I find myself sort of turned off from dating or having sex with women, but I'm also in a relationship right now with a man. I don't find much of anyone else sexually attractive, men OR women. I still get the occasional girl crush, but my attraction to them is mostly from a distance or objective.

But when I think of my ex-gf, I miss that sort of relationship. And girls are nice.

Who knows.

No. 62432

>>62430
how is it ironic? lesbians are a far smaller piece of female population than bi women and they still find dates and settle down in that tiny community just fine.

we on the other hand are pretty common and I question any bi woman who feels the need to ignore all of us and insist on chasing after lesbians as if they owe us something.

it's like when straight women with commitment issues chase after unavailable men to make sure the relationship will fail in advance.

No. 62433

>>62425
What you are feeling is perfectly normal for a bisexual woman, we are all fluid to various degrees. Our attraction to different sexes comes and goes with time and mood and sometimes I could swear I am asexual (and other times I'm like a nympho). In fact I thought I was asexual for the longest time because as a kid I was surrounded by straight girlfriends who kept having crushes on classmates and famous actors/pop stars and shit and I had to make up names and lie about having a crush all throughout the primary and middle school to fit in and seem "normal".

And then in hs I fell for a female teacher (lol) and a guy at the same time. Then for 8 years I was only into women and now into mid-twenties I am noticing men again. I used to be so sure I would settle down with a wife and now I am questioning myself and watching kids in parks and imagining having a traditional family. Both my first kiss and sex was with girls.

You are not a lesbian because lesbians do not posses the ability to be sexually attracted to the male sex ever, not as a phase, not as an experiment, not ever.

No. 62434

>>56530
fucking this, I was excited to see a bi thread since I don't come across much of bi talk and
>it's all fucking pan and trans discourse
holy fuck I hate you people

No. 62435

>>61957
Lol this is hilarious because I pretty much fit that bill but I'm in a long term relationship (with a man). I fell in love with three women before him, sadly wound up with a broken heart after each relationship. He and I just happened to click in the right way and stayed together. I am definitely more gay than straight and typically can't even stand men. However I really miss being intimate with a woman and have been fantasizing about it a lot lately. (I was tempted to try a threesome with my current relationship a few times but I chickened out each time and fuck do I regret it. But I am still lowkey wondering if I should tell him how much I miss being with a woman and see if we can come up with a solution.)

Anyway, I'm a career woman in the medical field. Always go for a business casual and feminine look but I am attracted to both masculine and feminine women. I've always been a bit naive and emotionally stunted when interacting with people so I also had that fantasy when I was younger to have an older female mentor girlfriend as well, mostly because I was so inexperienced with people and life. I am a weird mix, I am pretty submissive about some things but dominant about others and when I was younger I wanted someone who could put me in my place and guide me.

Now that I'm in my late twenties and have been through enough shit to have some sense of this world, I oddly do not mind the idea of a younger girlfriend so long as she is decently forward and dominant in her own way. I used to think it was strange for a younger partner to be more dominant than someone older, but here I am oddly completely enthralled with the idea of someone younger (but not drastically ofc) going after me and being too naive and impulsive to be rational while doing as she pleases with me. (Even though I'm not that old in comparison, I feel like I sound like a seedy old fuck when I say that though, ugh.) But if I was with someone like that, I would also love to spoil her, buy her some nice things from time to time, take her to nice restaurants, etc. especially if she is still working on her career or finishing college. I never had that when I was younger and would love to share those kinds of experiences with her if she wanted.

Sorry, that probably sounds all kinds of wrong, but I guess what I am trying to say is there are some out there who fit what you are looking for. It's just hard to be obvious about it, since there are so many repercussions for not only being a lesbian but also being okay with dating someone younger.

Anyway, don't give up hope anon. I am sure you fill find someone older who is into that kind of relationship. Sage for blogging and pointless daydreaming.

No. 62439

>>62432
I know a lot more lesbians than bi girls. Maybe it's because lesbians tend to have a community whereas bisexuals don't?

No. 62446

Bi girl who's been led on by every girl I've ever pursued. First one wasn't ready to come out, dated in secret anyway for 2 years before we were found out and she denied everything, said I was lying faggot. OK. Next girl led me on for 9 months, convinced me she loved me, but then left me for a man who licked dog shit off a bike tire for $5. Wtf. Last girl I was really into I'd known and liked for ages. We became roommates, she acted into me and would intiate sex and we'd do tons of stuff together. This went on for 6 months and I seriously thought we were progressing towards a legit relationship, but then I found out she was telling everyone she only liked me because I was her "slave", apparently because I paid for dates/bought her gifts and was willing to help around the house? Moved out after that, she contacted me a year later and apologized, but I never answered because I'm still hung up on her hahaha

No. 62454

>>62433
>>62431
Thanks anons for your input!

No. 62476

I'm bi and I lean more towards guys. I've never felt like I was hated because of it? But then again I try to stay away from the community all together because they're all a bunch of cry babies it seems

No. 62549

>>62012
I put interested in guys and girls is my bio intially, then removed it when it was clear that it was a hindrance. Still nothing.

Guess my area just wasn't particularly gay unfortunately

No. 62572

I was going to post in the vent thread but it kind of belongs here too, I met a manic pixie dream girl at a party and can't get her out of my head but I have a boyfriend

A girl has never hit on me before so it was easier to ignore my fear of missing out on cute girls because of my LTR but this girl I was talking to all night actually asked if I was single and when I said no she even later came back and asked if my boyfriend would let me be with a girl or even have a threesome. I'm so sad anons because I bet no other cute girl will ever hit on me for the rest of my life. Why did this never happen when I was single? She had freckles

No. 62775

So, uh, I have a weird problem. I had a crush on my boyfriend for a while before I started dating him and before we got together (and I was crushing on him), he had a girlfriend. At the time, I was frustrated by this and would constantly compare myself to her. They broke up on mutual terms and then, much later, he started dating me.

…But I think I really liked her all along. I can't get my mind off her and just checking her social media cheers me up - I don't follow her because I don't want him to know and I could never talk to him about this. But I keep thinking about how much happier I would be if I realized I liked her earlier and started dating her when they broke up instead of him. I feel so bad about this, though. I don't know what to do but try to ignore it, which hasn't been working so far…

No. 62944

I am attracted to girls but only sexually, I blame the fact that I watched so much porn growing up and generally the softer stuff (that I started with) is always lesbian. So it probably rewired my brain. I masturbate pretty much solely to lesbian porn too. But I don't think I would ever want to be with a girl irl, especially not in a relationship. I have been tempted to try tinder and look for a femme girl who just wants to come over so we can eat each other out, but I don't really have the balls to do such a thing. I remember a few vague lesbian experiences when I was much younger, with my friend (including scissoring with her lol but we were just curious kek).

I don't really feel attracted to girls irl (but get a lil moist around really high maintenance, snobby, bitchy girls - I think I'm attracted to ultra femme girls only). I guess I kind of want to get dommed by a hot girl. I saw some porn where a girl gets punished, humiliated and pissed on by her female classmates, and now it's one of my biggest fantasies. The idea of getting hazed and being a sex slave for dominant girls gets me off too.

Irl however I have only ever wanted to be in relationships with men. I am only capable of loving cis males. I am only capable of romantic feelings towards men. Sex with a guy I really love is the best, but I think sexually, I will always have a longing for pussy. However, I plan to exclusively have relationships with men only. But that lesbian fantasy isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I've heard that this kind of sexuality in females is very common. Luckily I can separate love and sex very easily. If my lesbian fantasy doesn't happen, I won't care too much. I'm quite happy with just getting dick.

No. 62946

What have been your experiences with trying to find a gf on tinder?
I've heard that girls who put "bisexual" on their profiles get an obscene amount of people asking for threesomes, and I don't want to deal with that.

No. 62959

>>62944
Hey I'm in almost the exact same boat as you, but my fantasy switches between being dommed by a thicc milf or domming a shy gal.

I actually fingered/ate out a girl and she did to me once because of those kinds of feelings and to be honest I fucking hated it lol. Flirting with her was really fun and I got really turned on but once it got down to it my puss dried the fuck up. Though, it did cool down the lesbo shit in me a lot and now I don't feel weird or gross watching some kinds of het porn.

Sexuality is a bizarre thing.

No. 62961

>>62944
I'm similar to you, except I think dating girls sounds nice, but am not sexually attracted to them.

No. 62962

>>62944
I'm the same way and I also kinda blame porn, I always watched lesbian orgies and hazing/sorority porn growing up. I kind of wish I was romantically attracted to girls – I can see the appeal, but I don't feel the appeal.

No. 62974

>>62959
So you literally got it out of your system? It's funny cause I thought that was just a saying but obviously in your case, it was true. It's kind of making me wonder if I should just go for it and see if it changes my attitude.

No. 63000

>>62946
People can't see your sexuality on Tinder, I don't know how this would ever happen

No. 64663

What's up with all these complaints about not being able to find a girl to sleep with just because you're also a girl?

Just find an escort. Even Chris got laid thanks to one, and the only bad decision he made in hiring an escort was not doing so back when he was in P.V.C.C. the day before he made that retarded sign.

Or try a sex surrogate. Mark O'Brien lost his virginity in his late 30s with one, and he was in an iron lung since he was five. Difficulty coming to terms with your sexuality might even be enough to qualify you.

No. 64666

>>64663
We're not incels jfc. The people above are just a little bi-curious, not desperate. Women aren't degenerates like that.

No. 64669

>>64663
Are you kidding?Lesbian escort sex is much more risky than het sex with am escort. Eating out/getting eaten out by someone with herpes or other STDs, or sharing a dildo is dangerous. At least with BJs and PIV sex you can use condoms and men's urethras are harder for STDs to travel up. Not to mention hiring prostitutes is degenerate af unless you're literally an incel with no other option.

No. 64672

>>64669

No it isn't. There's never been a documented case in history of H.I.V. transmitting from oral sex with a woman.

http://www.sfcityclinic.org/drk/womenshealth4.asp

There hasn't even been a documented case of S.T.I. transmission of any kind from oral sex with women unless the woman receiving oral was mensturating or having an outbreak, both of which are obvious.

https://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2012/11/28/q-a-november-2012/

And what kind of idiot shares a dildo during sex? Just bring one for each of you if it's that important, and make sure they're different colors so they're immediately visually distinctive.

No. 64858

File: 1500004065865.png (953.67 KB, 765x1044, 1492280462937.png)

Pretty much have come to terms that I'm bisexual, yet when it comes to men I can only imagine myself with my 2-D fictional husbandos. The thought of being with a man irl isn't all that appealing.
Also pretty similar to >>61950 and >>61961, I'm only attracted to girly girls. Unfortunately all the bi girls/lesbians in my area are SJW types, some to an extreme, and its just…so discouraging.

No. 64904

>>56619

>Maybe the whole 'bi girls go straight eventually' thing


That's pretty much dude availability though. Guys are hornier, more forward for a variety of social reasons, and there's a lot more of them.

It's sort of flipped around for gay guys. But (not trying to be homophobic here) I've heard one of the culprits for HIV in gay men is that they just sleep around a lot more (the other being the mechanics of anal sex).

So bisexual men have a thing where there are many "hard to get" women, and a few "easy" guys.

Bisexual women have a thing where there are few "hard" women, and many "easy" guys. So many easy guys. Everywhere. So it's not surprising at all that most bisexual women go straight; it's literally 100x more probable.

No. 77266

OK hi. I'm bi and here to continue the discussion from the june thread. do you guys believe in "bihets" or do you think we/society are just overthinking the permutations of general bisexuality?

No. 77268

from june thread
>How would one know the difference between "being conditioned to sexualize women from media and having a lesbian fetish" and being actually sexually attracted to women?


this bugs me too. if you're turned on by a woman…what's the difference? obviously it might not be that healthy to have a media-based type, but that could describe a huge amount of straight guys lol.

No. 77269

>>77268
Yeah this. Media could influence what you find attractive in women but I just can't see how it'd make you sexually attracted to women if you're really straight.

No. 77270

>>77268
>How would one know the difference between "being conditioned to sexualize women from media and having a lesbian fetish" and being actually sexually attracted to women?

I don't really think I have an answer and this one might be a poor one, but if you can't see yourself in a relationship with a woman then maaaybe that could be an indicator?

No. 77271

>>77269
yeah. i too had a sexuality identical to what june claims and a bunch of other anons relate to wrt only attracted to women but not romantic and only vice versa for men.

but what a damn coincidence that there's so little easily accessible media that 1) portrays lesbian romantic relationships 2) puts men in the sexual object role and women in the sexual subject role in a genuine, non-fetishy way

if you don't have inspirational media and your imagination doesn't come up with these things, what's left is irl experience, and many of us only have experience with men because as another anon said, it's just way easier to come by.

my point is i think "genuine" 50/50 sexual and romantic bisexuality might be more apparent for a lot of us if what resonated with us wasn't so biased towards sexualizing women and romanticizing men. i know that i used to think i wasn't sexually attracted to men until i found guys who were my type and into putting themselves in "the female gaze" if i may. i guess i've always been mainly into being the sexual subject. it seems actually pretty rare for straight guys, at least to the point that the few who do it aren't usually my physical type.

sorry if that was a bit incoherent the june thread just awakened feels in me that i thought i had moved on from

No. 77272

>>77270
True, but there can be other more social factors that influence that. You could be bi and not see yourself in a relationship with women because you haven't jived romantically with women you've met, have some issues with other women you haven't dealt with, or just been taught to expect a relationship with a man.

Then there's the people who will go "You think you want to date women but you need to experiment to find out", like that one girl in the thread.

No. 77275

to whoever said this
>Plenty of men do that and I don't think they're less straight for it. An unhealthy lesbian sexuality is still a lesbian sexuality.

also this. ive often felt a pressure (might just be a pressure from myself) to have a really sweet pure innocent attraction to women or else that part of my sexuality isn't 'real.' i mean it's good to aspire to have a sexuality based on equality but it seems like the sexual nueroses that are super common in straight people are used to invalidate the female attraction side of female bisexuality because it's male gaze-y and not pure uwu.

mfw worrying about being a snowflake/objectifying perv/attention seeking straight girl/oppression olympics sjw prolonged the process of realizing i'm actually legitimately bi

No. 77277

>>77271
I'm kinda interested in what you say about sexual subject/sexual object stuff. My experience has been a bit different.

I know when I was a kid/teen I tried so hard to "figure out" how to see guys sexually the way I saw women. and looked at pictures of different guys to see if I could find any I could view as the sexual object. I never did figure it out, gave up, assumed I was just gay. With women I wanted to be the sexual subject more than the sexual object and tbh couldn't really see myself in the position of "sexual object".

I met a guy, we became close friends, and ended up dating. I still can't see him like a sexual object, I can't relate to girls that talk about certain features a guy has they love. I like to look at his face but for his body all I can say is "well there's nothing wrong with it", it'd be the same for any guy really. I think the reason I'm able to enjoy sex with him is because I realized how to put myself in the position of sexual object and realize I could also enjoy that. With women I'd lead towards being the "subject" but could also be the "object", with men I could only be the "object". I'm not sure if it was a good or a bad thing. Sorry if this is also incoherent, I just feel a bit confused about myself.

No. 77278

>>77275
This so much. It's something I've gotten over more as I got older, but when I was say, 13 and just figuring things out about myself, I felt so ashamed for "sexualizing" or "objectifying" women because everything I could see or read said how gross and bad and perverted that was, and I didn't think I could give myself a pass for also being a woman.

No. 77279

>>77278
>>77275
Same exact experience here. Even if it's well-intended, some of this stuff about being an objectifying misogynist is harmful to women who are attracted to women. I think the whole idea of being a sexual subject or object is different from person to person, and not everyone who is bi will experience their attraction in the same way. Also one isn't inherently better or worse than the other, the harm comes from the overall patterns in society that tend to put women in the object position, which bleeds over to other things.

As for whether that attraction is influenced by media, it doesn't change the fact that that attraction still exists, and I doubt someone straight could be conditioned to have an attraction to the same sex if regular conversion therapy doesn't even work.

No. 77280

>>77279
I think to some extent sexual objectification is just part of the human sexual experience, and while obviously it's shitty and should never be encouraged if for some people that bleeds into the rest of their perception and they see women as NOTHING BUT objects for sex, the "object" sexual role isn't unhealthy by itself and doesn't need to be demonized in all instances.

No. 77281

>>77277
>>77277
In this case I mean sexual subject/object in really basic terms, and I suspect that's how you're using it too. The really unhealthy dehumanizing version of objectifying someone where you literally won't realize they too are a subject is a whole different animal imo, but I think in the past my horror about being dehumanized by sexists and sociopaths made me feel ashamed at what I now think is a pretty tame and natural dynamic between two people. I just prefer to look than be looked at and what turns me on is based on how the other person looks and what they're doing, it doesn't matter what I'm doing. But I'll look/act sexy for them. Now that I really think about it, I think what really awakened me sexually to men was realizing I have a very specific type, abandoning my guilt about being the subject if the other person enjoys the object role, and fapping while stoned

No. 77282

>>77280
>>77280
This this this. It took me so long to figure myself out because being completely objectified in an extreme an inappropriate context is so awful to experience and I didn't want to do that to another person, but the basic role is fine if you know it's just in your mind and you know your partner is a subjective person outside of your gaze

No. 77297

>>77266
I was a teen in the 90s and i remember when bisexuality was huge in movies/shows with women x women. It was only used mainly as a form to pleasure men though. It's sad, but there are still a ton of pathetic women out there (like June) who only makeout with women when they're drunk and with men around. Why do you think so many threesomes are women x women x men?

We're still living in a society where bisexual women are held to a high standard, but only if both women are ultra femme. It's a huge form of sexism. Media is a huge influence on straight girls, esp basic bitches who want attention.

(Hope this is still on topic.)

No. 77298

>>77266
I believe there are a lot of bisexual women who are in straight relationships but are still genuinely bisexual and shouldn't be discredited. Then there are people like June or Jillian…

No. 77315

>>62944
>>62962
What do you guys think of people like this? How does that happen? Can you actually develop sexual attraction to women through watching too much lesbian porn as a teenager or is it just some sort of weird fetish, and how do you tell?

No. 77323

>>77315
I'm like that too and have been that way since basically childhood, before I ever saw porn. It wasn't fully sexual until puberty but I loved looking at pretty and naked women (never men), and that led to porn in puberty (not even lesbian porn though). Maybe if you have a predisposition like that you can end up rewiring yourself to find it sexual once you're old enough, but for myself I see it as something that was latent from the beginning since it explains a lot of things from my childhood, like vaguely sexual experiences with female friends. Or maybe those experiences are what made me like that lol

No. 77324

>>77323
I mean if you've been like that since childhood it just sounds like your regular old bi.

No. 77325

>>77324
Everyone in the other thread was saying "heteroromantic bisexual" is fake bi though. I think it's probably different from person to person.

No. 77326

>>77325
I don't believe "romantic orientation" is a thing. I don't think there's something that's set inside you that decides who you develop feelings for or not. If you have sexual attraction towards an entire gender but don't want to date them, I think that's just something about your personality that developed that way and doesn't really need any kind of label. Considering you can develop feelings for all kinds of people you never would have "seen yourself" wanting to be with just by imagining it, it seems pretty pointless.

I'd be happy to hear why you think it is though, maybe I'm just not getting something.

No. 77328

>>77325
To add:
Sexual attraction is a really instinctual kind of thing. What a man or a woman is, physically, is defined very strictly, and your brain responds to different stimulus with arousal or lack thereof.
"Love" is very much a complicated higher brain emotion. Discounting asexual people here, you'd normally fall in love with people of the sex you're sexually attracted to, so that you'll y'know, be having sex with them. So something seems off to me with the idea of "I can't see myself dating anyone of this gender". If the body parts aren't a problem, what defines a woman or man, in a relationship sense? That's just personality right? And obviously not everyone in the same sex has the same personality. So if you're saying you don't see yourself dating women, isn't that just saying you don't feel like you click romantically with the kind of people most women are? To me it seems like making "I like shy guys" or "I don't like shy guys", into a sexual identity.

You don't find a lot of people saying they're any kind of exclusionary -romantic sexuality other than bisexual heteroromantic either. To me that's either bisexual girls who can't see themselves dating girls since they've been socialized to expect that they'd only ever be with guys, or straight girls that got confused somewhere.

No. 77329

>>77326
>>77328
That's an interesting view and I think you have a really good point. Now that I think about it, it definitely is related to the types of personalities typically associated with each sex, since the personality traits I find attractive are different for men and women, but the traits I want for a relationship are those more associated with men. I wonder how that might've differed in a society with different media/expectations. Thanks!

No. 77432

File: 1522349307124.jpg (129.96 KB, 791x804, 1522272678924.jpg)

>be bisexual
>hear people say this bullshit all the time
>"tehehe le bi gf is better because you can stare at girls together"
"Bisexual" doesn't mean "cuck". When will they learn

No. 77433

>>77432
To be fair as a bi girl dating a guy, I always liked that we can recommend each other porn we like or talk about our taste in women or if one of us thinks a girl is hot. But ogling people in public is gross behavior from anyone.

No. 77434

>>77432
Exactly, no self respecting bi person does this shit
it just screams "I want attention"

>>77433
I mean sure, but yeah ogling people in public is super gross and I have no idea how people would find that attractive.

No. 78074

hey, another bi girl here. Am i the only one who‘s repulsed by dicks? I think they‘re really just sorta nasty but at the same time i can‘t say i‘m not attracted to guys? Because i am but their dicks.. the thought of having het sex is just really unappealing to me. i still call myself bi because last year i had a huge thing for a guy i‘ve known for super long (he ended up just using me for nudes.. yeah that didn‘t exactly go that well) at one point i thought „well maybe i just don‘t like sex“ until i realized how much i love girls. i like guys but seemingly only in a romantic way. I‘m attracted to girls both sexually and romantically so tbh i have no idea if this still classifies as bi. I‘m still a lonely virgin so i‘m hoping that once i actually do shit with both genders everything will figure itself out.

No. 78209

>>78074
I found penises really off-putting when I was younger too desu. literally spent the first two years after discovering porn only looking at nude girls. They're very confrontational because it's all out there and aggressive, unlike a pussy, but it's something I got over once I encountered one in person

No. 78339

File: 1523140142124.jpg (52.59 KB, 500x633, original.jpg)

>>78074
I used to be very similar but I honestly developed a taste for them as well as PIV sex. It's like my attraction to men and women developed at different rates which was really confusing growing up. I felt romantically and somewhat aesthetically attracted to men but never wanted to do anything sexual with them, but with women the sexual attraction was early and strong. I think the change was a big combination of things. I always figured I was gay and in denial and that scared me, so I didn't explore or push my attraction to men for fear that I'd realize I didn't like them at all, when it actually ended up being the opposite. That probably sounds fucking crazy but maybe some bi farmers know what I mean. So after treating vaginismus, realizing I have a "type" for men, accepting my sexuality no matter what it turned out to be, getting over fear of men and fear of being gay, and being less ashamed of my sexuality, I ended up becoming very physically sexually attracted to men and enjoy fucking them, which honestly wasn't the outcome I was expecting at all. I was really ready to face being gay with ~compulsory hetereosexuality~ but it turned out I really do like dudes but that part of my sexuality had been suffocated with fear and doubt.

No. 78348

>>78074
When I first discovered porn/pictures of dicks I remember being really put off, but I just got over it over time I guess? Currently I'm kinda the opposite of you, I have no real attraction to men's bodies even aesthetically, but I like what their dicks can do haha.

No. 78391

I think I'm what you'd call a "fake bisexual",shame on me I guess. I'm attracted to some girls,in a very strong sexual way, but romantically speaking I've never ever felt anything for a girl,it's only sexual. On the other hand,I love men so much, eventhough I found their body pretty much uninteresting (I'm still sexually attracted to them), I can't get enough of them, I find them so…interesting. honestly if I could I'd like to date almost every guy friend I have.
But girls are so pretty,and their bodies are so beautiful…

I've never claimed to be bi or told anyone my attraction to women anyway so no harm done

No. 78428

>>78074
I have the opposite problem. I love dicks, but I find women a lot more sexually appealing to me than men. I'm romantically attracted to both genders, but as for sex I prefer women a lot more. And I have no problem with vaginas and I love them as well, but I can't help but lament the lack of a penis. Guess that's why I'm so into futa.

>>77432
I hate this bullshit so much. Just because you're hypersexual and could find a fucking phone booth sexy doesn't mean you're bi. This is exactly why people are so prejudiced against bisexuals, straight girls playing bi took over the whole term because they thought a supermodel is hot.

No. 78509

File: 1523238637006.jpg (23.1 KB, 400x400, IMG_20170219_175225.jpg)

men are good for fucking and just overly disappointing beings, women on the other side are wonderful and even tho I hate the idea of marriage and monogamy, from time to time I imagine myself married with a woman and having kids, cooking with her, supporting her and becoming better versions of ourselves together, brushing her hair, putting lipstick on her and kissing her and ofc amazing sex :(

No. 78515

I grew up in a very religious house hold, so naturally I was primed to feel ashamed about normal sexual desires. This is especially true when it came to anything gay/lesbian.

I eventually grew up and rejected my parent's religious beliefs, but by then the damage had been done, and it was impossible to simply unlearn every negative thing I was taught over night. Over the years I have learned to not feel so ashamed when it comes to having sexual desires, but sometimes I think that I am permanently 'damaged' by religion.

I have always found women pretty and I have always found myself sexuality attracted to them. I can definitely see myself having sex with a woman. But I just do not find vaginas sexually appealing. Someone said on here they don't like penises, well, I feel that way about vaginas. In my head, I've always wanted to do everything with a woman possible except eating them out or fingering them (unless they are wearing underwear, then I wouldn't mind fingering them above the fabric).

Back in my "SJW" days I truly bought in to the idea that sexuality was purely a social construct and anyone could be attracted to non-straight people and body parts if they just unlearned everything harmful society taught us. But it's been years since I started my journey of self discovery sans the religion, and I still don't find vaginas attractive. In my journey I have discovered new things about my sexuality, but despite my best 'efforts', I still have never been able to find vaginas attractive. The best I have gotten is I don't find them as repulsive as I once had back in my religious days, but I still just don't like them.

I feel like disliking certain genitals wouldn't be a problem if I was a guy - I've talked with gay and bi men, and they say that not every gay or bi guy is into anal or really into sucking dicks, etc. But I feel like, as a woman, if I say I like women but I don't like vaginas, then I'm "fake". This causes me to feel confused… Do I not like vaginas because of what religion and society taught me? Or am I just over thinking this and it is totally okay and normal for some women to like women but not be attracted to vaginas?

No. 78516

>>78515
Honestly don't feel that bad about it, it's not weird. I know there are straight guys that are grossed out by the idea of eating a girl out and etc too. Genitals are fucking weird, it's not that strange to dislike one or both. They were made more for function than beauty and they can be kind of gross. If you ever want to be in a sexual relationship with another woman though, you'd have to at least become tolerant of them.

Have you had sex with a woman before? I used to feel grossed out by vaginas myself, but mellowed out about over time and experience.

No. 78556

Does anyone else here wish they were exclusively gay/straight?
I definitely lean more towards women. I just find them so much more sensual and beautiful and all around sexy as fuck, and just as I think "wow maybe I'm gay" I see some hot dude or something and regret thinking I might be gay. And now by some miracle I've ended up with a guy and now I'm upset that even though I think he's sorta hot, I will forever and ever lust after girls too. And if I end up with a girl in the future, I'll lust after guys too. I will never be totally happy with my SO. I just wish I could like one sex so I wouldn't be so confused all the time.

No. 78558

>>78556
Only because it would be less confusing. Straight people know they're straight because they like the opposite sex and they KNOW they're not gay. When you're bi you spend years questioning if you're really bi or if you're faking half of it. Growing up you feel like both sides of your sexuality have to be perfect mirrors of each other or it's not legitimate, like >>78515 worrying about her indifference to vaginas making her fake, when tons of ~monosexual~ (hate the word but it's convenient here) don't necessarily like the genitals of their preferred sex but it's still pretty obvious what their orientation is. I've basically had to accept that the bottom line is that I'd be with a man or a woman and the minor differences in how i experience those attractions doesn't really matter.

I still wouldn't want to be gay or straight because being bi feels like a life hack to me. You have the option of that het life but you also literally don't need a man so you can be as picky as you want. Lol no wonder people hate us

No. 78651

Can i just add that women as a whole are so beautiful, amazing and loving? While i do 100% classify as bi, i just feel like actually meeting a guy who i feel safe with and who can overlook my flaws is so so hard. But with girls it‘s so much easier!! And that‘s coming from from someone who is closeted and not white so people always immediately assume i must be straight and it‘s just generally almost impossible for me to actully meet other gay girls. I actually recently (4 months ago) met a girl and we just „clicked“ almost immediately.
whenever i see her my heart feels warm all over. Girls are so good

No. 79230

I am having an identity crisis atm. I currently look at myself as BI. And even though I think there are plenty of good looking men around, I feel disgusted just thinking about being intimate with a man. I think dicks look absolutely disgusting. Having hetero sex also seems really animalistic.

I have no idea what I should do. Any bisexual people here that feel the same or any lesbians that used to feel like this?

No. 79233

>>79230

Have you ever had sex with a man? Honestly dicks ARE gross and the idea of straight sex is offputting in theory, but in actuality, as long as the man attached to the dick is not gross, (clean, nice face, your age, reasonable personality) sex is fine. I don't think anyone thinks dicks are sexy, maybe men but not straight women. The fact men try and send the pics like we are supposed to like it is ???

I think it's easy to be a young lesbian just because we are not grossed out by our own bodies, it all makes sense to us VS unfamiliar weird men.

For me the distinction is: I'm only interested in men's personalities in general. Also I want kids, and the fact a man is so different is interesting to me, as well as finding straight sex rewarding in ways gay sex can't be.

After realising that I untrained myself to be bi (like I said it's very easy to be theoretically bi) because both mind and body prefer men in actuality. Preferring women is only in theory. Just offering perspective on this, not trying to say either way is good or bad.

No. 79234

Anyone in a relationship with the same sex and get shit because your bi????

I know I'm bisexual and honestly have no issues with my sexuality. I love girls and I like boys

I'm currently with my girlfriend who I am the only person she's really been in love with
She's always making comments when I find someone of the opposite sex handsome or cute
I don't even like them in a sexual way but she makes me feel like I do
I don't feel like I should pick a side of being gay or straight because my gf doesn't like the fact I'm into men as well….

Anyone else have this problem

No. 79236

>>79233
Good point. I've never had sex with a man, but I've had the opportunity. I never did it though because I haven't liked any of those guys.
I've also experienced sexual assult/harrassment from men, so it might be some sort of trauma and disgust linked to that.

I also have a really sexual female friend who's also bisexual that keeps talking to me about straight things like sucking dick, which is so gross to me and just makes everything worse.

>I'm only interested in men's personalities in general. Also I want kids

I feel the same way tbh. I often find myself attracted to men's personalities because they're more dominant, and most girls aren't. I'd also love to have a nice family with a man. This might be an environmental thing as I was raised in traditional culture.

I guess I should try to work out my issues with sexual assult before I can say 100% sure :/

No. 79252

>>79233
>I don't think anyone thinks dicks are sexy, maybe men but not straight women.
Speak for yourself, I quite like dicks and I wouldn't even call myself completely straight.

No. 79730

File: 1524195785189.jpg (Spoiler Image, 21.05 MB, 728x408, qdWX0Dt.jpg)

I've been hearing that 'scissoring' is a myth and that bi/lesbian women don't actually like that. So I have to ask: is it true? Do most bi/lesbian girls really not like 'scissoring'? The reason I ask is because I haven't been with a woman yet, but that's the main thing I would like to do if I ever sleep with one.

I personally cannot get off unless I lay on my stomach and grind up against something firm, like my mattress. The only other way I seem to be able to get off is if I lay on my back and someone grinds up against me, but I've never had a guy do it long enough to see if that's true. They always stopped right as I was getting really into it and would just go straight into PIV sex, which does nothing for me.

I've tried getting off by just rubbing myself like most girls do, but it just isn't enough pressure and feels bad. When I've been with boys in the past, the only thing that felt really good was when they would lay on me and grind up against me. Them fingering me or eating me out didn't do much or anything at all.

I've always thought about how awesome it would feel to find a girl and we could grind up against each other… but the more I read, the more it sounds unlikely because it's something most girls don't like.


Gif related

No. 79735

>>79234
Why do you tell her who you find handsome or cute? That's kinda autistic

No. 79746

>>79730
from what I understand it kind of comes down to the bodies of the girls involved. if you're too thin it might be uncomfortable. that's just from what I've heard I unfortunately haven't had the chance to try it yet.

something I've seen in porn that seems doable is just rubbing your pussy against the other girls thigh while your thigh is also grinding against her.

No. 79750

>>79730
I feel like this post is written by a male thats posing as a lesbian woman.

No. 79758

>>79746
I guess from what I understand, it's not so much that girls don't grind up against each other, it's more of they don't do it for long, and they can't orgasm from it. Which again sucks, because grinding up against something is the only way I've ever been able to get off.

>rubbing your pussy against the other girls thigh while your thigh is also grinding against her


I'm having trouble imagining this, I'll have to look into it later after I've woken up a bit more, hah.



>>79750

It's not. And I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi.

No. 79760

>>79746
How would being too thin make it painful?

No. 79766

>>79760

Hipbones grinding against one another doesn't sound fun.

No. 79776

>>79760
>>79766
yeah the hipbones thing I what I thought.

No. 79817

I know there's the whole "bisexual men and women are more likely to cheat" thing
but it really sucks when you go out with someone and things get to intimate details and sexuality pops up
>Have you ever felt attracted to a woman as a woman?
>What you have? Are you serious?
>Instant disgust
>Have you ever thought of, or have, cheated on me?

It gets grating after a while and you start feeling shameful and disgusting as a result
Feels bad man

No. 79845

>>79730
It’s not a myth. It’s just very unpopular because you need to be super flexible and it still doesn’t really feel amazing or even good. Not worth it

No. 79852

>>79845
>super flexible
Huh, really? Why? Sorry if that's a dumb question, I can't see it

>>79730
I feel you. I can get off in other ways too, but grinding is one of the best I can do it with men too if I'm on top and there's something extremely hot about the idea…

No. 79854

>>79845
hmm I don't think you have to be flexible. You literally just rub someone's pussy with yours. That's not acrobatics.
I used to do it with my friend, it wasn't even completely sexual for us as we were stupid teens fooling around, just something that felt good. Can confirm you can orgasm like this just fine.
Not everyone's willing to try though, especially that there are more pleasurable ways of doing sex.
But it's not impossible or just a lesbian meme.

No. 81642

this may be a dumb question but, if i fap to anime girls, does that make me bi?

No. 81645

>>81642
nah fam real girls can't compete.

No. 81647

>>81642
Some guys fap to anime goo girls…
it’s fiction and that’s what may be making you interested

No. 81648

>>81647
>it's fiction and that's what may be making you interested
what

No. 82993

If I have only been aroused to girls for years but I dont like to look at vulvas, what does that make me? I don't know if I'd like oral but otherwise I love female bodies.

I don't find dicks to be appealing either, but they look less weird than vaginas to me. I mean, I find men aesthetically attractive, but the feelings are not as visceral.

I'm not even sure if what I've said made any sense. Sorry.

No. 83001

>>82993
many people simply don't find sex organs attractive tbh. for me personally it's difficult to be turned on by photos of a hot naked girl or guy spread eagle, but in the bedroom it's quite different.

No. 83109

>>83001
This. It's called "bumping uglies" for a reason.

No. 83110

>>82993
Same. I honestly love boobs. They turn me on more than anything. But I just cannot with vulvas. Idk if it’s because I’m uncomfortable with my own or if it’s just innate. I can suck a dick no problems, but the idea of eating a girl out turns my stomach. Even though I think women’s general bodies are sexy as fuck, and I masturbate to fictional women (and men), I’ve only ever had sex with men. I used to get my ex to describe hot women he’d seen to make me come, which was the hottest shit. But he hated doing it so it didn’t last long. And I’ve only ever made out with one girl before, but I’ve been with plenty of men. And I wouldn’t want a girl to catch feels for me only to be like “psych, I said I was bi but actually your vulva grosses me out.” So I just say I’m straight.

No. 83199

probably a weird request but could the gals here link things that turned them on? like, things that focus on women

No. 83202

>>56468

I find myself drawn to women way more than men, BUT a lot of the time I'm unsure of whether I'm feeling friendship or something else. I have always had a difficult time gauging whether my feelings for anyone were romantic or platonic. Women make me really nervous romantically.

I messed up my first (only) chance at a relationship with another woman because I literally felt like I was gonna have a nosebleed every time I was around her.

I'll never know now since I'm happily with the love of my life, who happens to be a man. But I will always wonder!

No. 83206

>>83202

same as >>83202 but I also feel an insane amount of guilt because I'm bi but in a """"straight"""" relationship. I'm sure other gals have experienced this, but it hurts the most when other LGBT people tell us that we're "basically straight"

No. 83218

>>83110
Shoe0nhead?

No. 83228

So, I'm a highly female-leaning bisexual.
The issue is that although I like sex with women, penetration is my favorite thing and it's just not as emotionally+physically intense when it's just with fingers. I'd be fine with a strap, but… even with butches I've gotten with, I feel like none of them use straps all that often? I'd need it pretty much every time, and I'm not sure what my chances are of finding a girl that'd be up for that. I couldn't care less about an actual dick, it's just the specific act.

I crush on women 90% of the time though, and when I do date a guy, they end up being so comparatively coldhearted and I feel legitimately shocked whenever they show any affection or thoughtfulness, so het relationships aren't fulfilling for me either. It's frustrating.

No. 83242

>>83199
I love women with big curly hair, its just too cute, and a cute face to match. The cute part is really abstract, If I find her face cute its cute and that's it, there is no criteria.

I also like them to have some muscle and/or to be a chubby, I just can't find attractive a extremely skinny with no muscle woman.

No. 83330

>>83228
Hell, I'd strap it on every time and I'm not even butch.

I can identify with crushing mostly on women and being appalled by male behavior. I don't think I've ever really felt truly loved and satisfied by relationships with men, tbqh prefer sucking cock to PIV, mostly though I fucking love pegging. Most guys don't like it as much as I would want. So yeah.

No. 83338

I'm bi and full of internalised biphobia, please give me advice!

I very infrequently got crushes (on either gender) as a teen and grew up when faking it was what 90% of my peers did, so just kinda assumed it was a myth (ugh) and that thinking girls are hot is just normal and not a bi thing (as mentioned before, I never got crushes on anyone so that in turn meant I never got crushes on girls). These two things made me deny the possibility i was bi until I was an adult (and i'm still not comfortable coming out). I've since had crushes and dated girls so It's not really something i'm confused about, more an insecurity.

I feel huge amounts of shame (and often hide it from my lgbt friends in particular) if i date a guy because i'm terrified i'll look like a 'fake bi'. I never actively look for relationships, so the majority of mine have been hetero since its just more common to bump into straight guys than gay/bi girls, haha. This also makes me doubt myself, like I haven't been able to prove to myself that I'm a good enough bi because I've only dated 2 girls.

Also, my most common reaction to hearing someone is bi is to doubt them because I'm used to fakers, and I hate this about myself.

Do you guys have any advice for this? I hate that i'm untrusting of anyone saying they're bi, and I hate myself every time I get into a het relationship cus I feel everyone is judging me in the exact way that I judge everyone else. I am a horrible person and so massively insecure about my sexuality pls help

(Newfag here so sorry if this is like completely inappropriate)

No. 83363

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>>83338
Damn are you me?

I got somewhat past the insecurity by basically being honest and minding my own business. By that I mean, if your sexuality comes up, just say you're bi and leave it at that. If you're not like "i'm so gay you guys!" or "i swear i'm basically straight!" then who has the right to question you? Only people who don't believe in bisexuality at all, which I think you probably believe in by now since you never had an ulterior motive to fake it yet you have these desires very obviously. You're bi. End of story. Which brings me to,
when other people say they're bi, instead of doubting them OR believing them 100%, just accept that you have no idea if they're really bi or really confused or curious. It's something only they can ever know so it's not anything to worry about unless they're asking you for advice or something.
The same applies to straight or gay people! When a dude with a long term gf says he's straight, you have no idea if he secretly has a lot of gay fantasies and may be a closet bi, it's certainly not unheard of, but you probably just more or less take his word for it.

Bisexuality is not a special case. Lots of people fake or don't understand their orientations and preferences. Some people are more blatantly confused or faking than others, but it's just something you can never really know, so it's unreasonable to fully believe or fully doubt what someone tells you about their sexuality.

No. 83429

>>83330
>>83228

>tfw my partner is a genuinely soft, affectionate man and loves being pegged

>all the girls I've be involved with were tourist lesbians who lead me on and broke my heart

I'm very lucky to have him, but I wish I had had a positive experience romantically with a girl before meeting him.

No. 83457

Any one else who have no interest in having a mff threesome? I could have a threesome with two girls or two guys, but the thought of a guy and a girl makes me sick. Thats the reason for why I have doubted my bisexuality, because if I was "really bi" I would want both at the same time righ?

No. 83458

>>83457
The only thing that makes you bi is being attracted to men and women, anon.

I want no threesomes at all, but I'm still bisexual.

No. 83535

>>83457
I'm not really interested either, anon. It feels fetishy when people suggest that, tbh, especially since it's often straight guys or "unicorn hunter" couples.

I'm not interested in threesomes much at all because of jealousy. I can see where it'd be fun if I got past the jealousy, though.

I still like women and men, bisexuals aren't a monolith other than that we like men and women!

No. 85133

I recently finally admitted to myself that I’m bi, only because I realized I’m suddenly infatuated by my female friend (who is bi). The problem is that we’re in a small close group of friends and basically this guy (my best friend) is also her best friend so I can’t even tell him, or anyone. Plus I’m quite positive I’m not her type at all. It’s gonna ruin so much, make things awkward as hell. So basically I need to get the fuck over my feelings and learn how to get rid of them. It’s so hard because we (as a small group) voice chat every day and hearing her voice, especially laugh gives me butterflies. And I don’t wanna start avoiding them because she’s there, my bff is gonna know something is up. I’m so confused and I just need advice on how to make this pass in the silent. I’ve never felt anything for a female before and it just makes it extra exciting for me. But another reason I just wanna block these feelings is because she recently mentioned in our group convo when we were talking about feelings, that she wanted to be alone, because previous experiences had her feel really bad and stuff. I dunno if she’s picked up on me or if it was just something she’d say anyway. In general I just feel bad for thinking this way of her since it wouldn’t work out.

No. 85366

I'm probably 50/50 for both men and women
I'm currently in a relationship with a female and have been for awhile

She's super weird about me being bisexual and always makes comments when I express any like….way about the opposite sex
She's disgusted by men, I mean who isn't but her disgust is kinda extreme
Even if I say someone is handsome or I like an anime character
She has to make some hasty disgusting comment and I'm so tired of it
There's nothing wrong thirsting after anime dick
But she's got no problem making lesbian comments or anything like that

It's frustrating some time

No. 85389

>>56496
I relate to this so much anon.
I feel like a lot of bisexual women just want to hookup with me? They show interest up until the point that they realize I want a serious relationship. :/ Also: observation, it seems like a lot of bi women prioritize male relationships over female ones. Like, they'll 'fool around' with girls, but when it's a guy, she's 'committed'.

No. 85427

I've always thought I'm bi but for the last few years I don't feel as much sexual attraction to men as before. I can be in a romantic relationship with men but being with women feels more natural. Thinking back most of my crushes are girls and even when I had a crush on a boy it's shortliving, all except one of my past relationships are with girls as well. This revelation confuses the hell out of me. Do I even really like men to begin with?

No. 85430

>>85389
I know your experience is more common, but I guess I've been super unlucky because I've only had the opposite (bi girl, whenever I'm interested in a girl it turns out she only wanted me for flirting/a one night stand). ;_;

No. 85431

>>85389

Unfortunately, this has to do with there being more guys available in the dating pool. Take my area for example, there aren't that many bi women here, and the ones that are available are either already in a relationship, or they are not someone I would ever want to date, especially not long term. There aren't many lesbians out here either, and the ones that are available, most of them don't want to date bisexual women. This doesn't leave a lot of options to choose from, unless you want to settle for someone you don't really like.


It's not really surprising that lots of bi women eventually end up in long term relationships with men, since there is a lot more options to choose from. Sad but true.

No. 85432

>>85431
not really. anon was explicitly talking about how many bi women find other women disposable. the reason for that is because it's still easier to be with a man. not as many questions asked, no harassment for being gay, possibility of children is a huge plus too. it's sad but it's just kind of how it works.

No. 85434

>>85427

anon are you me? i've been dealing with a similar thing lately, i definitely think i'm still bi but at this point i like women 99% of the time

>>85431

i find it surprising that so many of us do end up with men, i know there's a stereotype about lesbians hating bi women but luckily i've only been with ones who were totally respectful. with guys as soon as they know you're bi they treat you like a sex object and only let you talk about your bisexuality when it turns them on, but when you actually want a relationship with a woman and leave them for one all hell breaks loose

No. 85445

>>85432

It sounds like we're mostly on the same page. I don't think bi woman find other bi/lesbian women "disposable", it's mostly boils down to a numbers game. The fact is, heterosexual people can date and dump a lot of people before they land on "the one". Being heterosexual means you won't have as much trouble finding people that you find attractive, are in your age range, into the same things you are, etc. Of course being able to have biological kids and not having to explain your sexuality is another factor, but I argue that it is not the bigger reason why bi woman end up with guys.

Gay/bi people have it harder because the dating pool is already small as it is. It gets even smaller when you consider things like availability, age gaps, life styles, and finding the person sexually attractive.

Using myself as an example, I browsed a couple of dating sites with bi/lesbian women within 2 hours of my location. I ran into a lot of problems:

1. Age gaps - a lot of women in my area were either way too young or way too old. Maybe some people don't mind huge age gaps, but I do.

2. Sexual attraction. I'm not a model by any means, and my standards are not high. But a lot of the women that were in my age range I just did not find myself attracted to. They were either severely overweight, or they were very butch looking, or they looked like Tumblr SJWs. I'm sure these people were nice, but being blunt, I am not attracted to overweight, butch, or SJW type women. I prefer really feminine women, but for some reason there does not seem to be many of those in my area.

3. Conflicting life styles. If I managed to find a woman that was close in age and attractive, what tended to ruin the chances of a long term relationship was that we have very different life styles. I am not into partying, drinking or drugs. I have a career and I want my partner to have a job as well. I am not interested in being someone's "sugar mama". I am also not interested in dating someone who already has kids. No judgement on people who are into to this stuff, but it's not my thing and not what I want in a long term partner.


This happens every single time I search for bi/lesbians in my area, even when I try looking for women hours away. Meanwhile, I can look for men within 1 hour of my location and I'll have several potential matches that are likely to lead to a long term relationship.

I give some of the bi/lesbian women a chance, but I know it's just going to end in a hookup. It's not because I think the women are disposable, but because they are just not what I want in a long term partner. I'm sure there are women that would make great long term partners, but they aren't in my area or if they are, they're already taken.

Honestly, it really sucks. I'm sure not the only bi woman with this problem.

No. 85448

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Anybody here ever been with a man that's scared you'll leave him for a woman? How did you deal with that quelling fear in him and the feeling of misogyny and biphobia that it evokes?

My boyfriend – who I've been with for ~9 months – knows I have a much stronger preference for women; he says himself that he's an "anomaly." I should also note that he IDs as pansexual with a strong preference for women. I genuinely love him, but I know that if we ever broke up I would go back to dating mainly women. I've never told him this, and so I think his fear stems from the fact that my best friend is a lesbian, and him knowing I have a schoolgirl-type innocent crush on 2 female baristas at our local coffee shop.

I have very little interest in ever pursuing anything with my best friend, and I can only see myself ever potentially dating 1 of the 2 baristas I have a crush on should my boyfriend and I ever break up.

And inb4 "you sound like a cheater / if you have crushes on anyone while you're in a relationship, you shouldn't be in a relationship" bullshit, I'm not the type to cheat. In fact, I'm quite content in the relationship I have right now and there's very little I would change about it. I just think those women at the coffee shop are pretty.

No. 85449

>>85448
Telling your boyfriend you have a crush on anyone -man or woman - is probably going to make them feel a little insecure, no matter how harmless it is. So probably a) keep that shit to yourself (fawning all over other people is inconsiderate) and b) reassure him you're happy in the relationship and you aren't going to just dump him for anyone out of the blue and that you're in it for the long haul and all that jazz. Assuming you are.

No. 85452

>>85449
He's always joking about my crush on the baristas, and in fact will one out to me if they happen to be woking that day. Mostly I think he thinks it's funny to watch me try and make casual conversation with them.

He only really brings up this fear of me leaving him (in general, but sometimes he'll mention me possibly leaving him for a woman) when he's tipsy or a little stoned. I assure him pretty much every day that I do see a future with him, etc., usually without prompting and no matter if he's sober or not. He's the first to admit that he's got some deep-rooted insecurities in that area.

No. 85453

>>85448
>>85452

You sort of don't sound like you are thinking seriously about him cause you are already planning who you would get with if you left him. No wonder he's insecure. You should have left those crushes to yourself and maybe not develop them further. Why are you even still going to that Starbucks? That's playing with fire.
And sure he's laughing about it, how else is he supposed to deal with it and not go crazy? It's a way to pretend he's ok with the fact you can't even go to a cafe without developing a crush on some chick.

I get it you can't control your feefies, but maybe be decent enough to not engage them further.

No. 85454

>>85453
The crushes haven't developed past "Oh, wow, she's beautiful and actually has a sense of humor." Why? Because I only go to that coffee shop with him maybe once every two weeks. I don't go there without him; we never see these girls around the neighborhood; there's never been any instances of me getting to know them outside of how they are at their job.

There was one time that he went there without me and told me later on that one of them said we should all go out for drinks sometime, but he turned her down since I'm 20. I wasn't bothered by it in the least because I hate drinking around most people that aren't him.

No. 85456

>>85448

it's normal to have crushes and think other people are cute while you're in a relationship and there shouldn't be any issue unless you're always bringing up how cute other people are to your boyfriend, which doesn't sound like what you're doing. keep reassuring him to a certain point but if at some point you need to tell him to stop being so insecure, do it. you chose him for a reason and at some point frequent reassurance is unhealthy and a need for it is most likely a sign that he doesn't trust or believe in you enough. if you aren't cheating or seeking out those girls behind his back, you aren't doing anything wrong

No. 85460

>>85452
>He's always joking about my crush on the baristas
People joke about things sometimes when it makes them uncomfortable or they want reassurance. Next time he jokes about it, comfort him. You've really messed with his head over this shit. Next time, just keep it to yourself.

No. 85467

>>85448
Yeah it's so biphobic when your bf gets insecure because you can't not tell him about your crushes on women

No. 85469

>>85467

do you expect her to disregard her attraction to women entirely, or? you don't stop being bi when you're in a committed relationship, but there's nothing wrong with flirting and attraction that doesn't mean anything. she didn't say she was gonna cheat on the guy.

No. 145786

Bumping for that one anon starting a new (unnecessary and disastrous) general

>Any fun story that made you question yourself?

>Since when did you doubt your heterosexuality/consider yourself bi?
>Wanna vent about not being het/gay enough for someone?
>Any horror story related to being too bisexy for this world?

No. 145788

>>145786
No I'm not the retarded anon that made the two other threads but I did post this there.

Reposting.

I wrote out a really long post but deleted it.

What I need to say here though is that I am bisexual and spent a long time ignoring that, as well as fearing rejection so I avoided it.

I took until I was 20 to fully realize it, despite all of the signs being there.

Romantically, I love men and women the same. Sexually, I love women more.

Though, the crushes I have had on women have been a million times more impactful, butterflies in my stomach…heart racing crushes.

Guys I tend to see as "marriage and kids" bait. If I don't want to be married and have kids with them then I don't want to be with them at all, in fact I probably don't have respect for them.

No. 145789

File: 1596165793076.gif (1.78 MB, 400x279, 1FF540A5-A3C6-40CF-994C-014B48…)

Sometimes I worry that the only reason I’m sexually attracted to women is because of childhood trauma that involved cocsa, thus making me fakebi because maybe I wasn’t born like this, but abused into it. It kills me to think that my love is born from tainted water.

No. 145796

reeeee dickbreathers how dare you i can't believe you're attracted to both men and women you hellspawn of the cesspool motherfuckers come join the lesbian cult and be miserable with all the rest of us or perish.

No. 145800

I'm honestly terrified of women simply because I'm scared I might be "faking it" and I don't to lead her on, like I can't even swipe on women on Tinder of how insecure I am, especially since I'm not super femme but also not masculine. It's like a damn curse.

No. 145809

>>145800
Just go for it bby.

No. 145824

>>145800
If you're actually attracted to them please go for it. Your confidence will improve by dating. And we need more women who are secure in their orientation. We are told so much crap about bisexuality so no wonder many have low self confidence.

No. 145837

>>145796
Do we really have to be lesbophobic can't this just be a nice bisexual thread

No. 145841

>>145796
Rent free

No. 145844

I don't know if I'm bisexual or simply lesbian…

I sleep with men and it's cool, however only women are on my mind. I only check girls out, only girls give me butterflies and I can only picture myself with a woman. But I enjoy dick and lesbian porn makes me dry (i hate how women are portrayed).

Anyone have gone through something similar?

No. 145845

>>145844
No you're still bi

No. 145850

Bisexuals never really talk about knowing they were attracted to girls since they were young. I remember my first schoolyard crush on a girl feeling exactly like the one I had on a boy, and they'd just kinda happen. It wouldn't be one then another, it'd just happen as I found a boy or girl that I found cute enough to want to play with at recess all the time in a Crush kind of way.

The comphet came more around high school, I dated boys and made my attraction to women more of a meme/joke, and I genuinely don't know why. As an adult now, I've dated and had sex with far more men (comes with being femme presenting, I think), but I still love women and the unique, special things that women bring to a relationship. I think I'll ultimately be happier settling down with a woman.

No. 145853

>>56468
>>145844
an answer to all these AM I BI OR LESBIAN!!?!? questions: it's a faux pas to talk about online, but bisexuality can be a stepping stone to lesbianism. if you end up exclusively dating and sleeping with women, then at that point, you are a lesbian. however, if you never date nor sleep with women and only date and sleep with men, then you are straight. if you have dated and slept with both male and female partners and will continue to do so, you are bi.

despite what thought-police twitterfags obsessed with discourse have to say, it's more about what you actually do than what you think. the oppression same-sex-attracted people experience comes from how they act, not what they think about, so labelling yourself should follow the same logic. for example, if you're 300 lbs and you simply fantasize about losing weight and being thin without ever actually doing anything, you're not suddenly considered a thin person, right? you're still just a 300 lb. fatty with dreams.

the reality is many people can view the same sex as attractive in some capacity or another and can fantasize about them, but gay thoughts do not a homosexual make. recognizing your desire is the first step, but actually acting on it is what defines you as homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual.

No. 145854

>>145853
So are you saying that if a bi woman marries a man she's straight, or that if she has had sex/dated women in the past but marries a man she still gets to claim bisexuality and vice versa? Galaxy brain.

No. 145855

>>145853
stupid take for stupid hoes

No. 145858

>>145854
> if you have dated and slept with both male and female partners and will continue to do so, you are bi.
>and will continue to do so
>continue
lrn2read

No. 145859

Did anyone else go to weird lengths to minimize their attraction to women? I've only come to terms with my preference for women this year (and I'm turning 23 soon), but it's been a fucking journey. TMI warning I guess.

Some bullshit I did:
>ease myself into it by first liking femboys as a teen, slowly adding masculine traits to my fantasies (body hair, angular male features, etc.)
>would begin masturbating to women, then switch to men to train myself to get off to them
>"well, I only like pegging and would hate to be penetrated…but hey, it's str8"
>at one point, men in my fantasies would only have an asshole and no genitals
>socially overcompensate by obsessing over men to increase pressure on myself to like them
>draw men often so that I'd find them more appealing with exposure

I'm still definitely bisexual, but it's funny how I somehow missed that I did all these (mostly) subconscious things for years. At least I never succeeded in dating a man, or else I'd be one of those anons stuck with someone I love but can never truly be satisfied with. I know I'd be 100% satisfied with a woman and never desire men again, but it wouldn't be the same with a guy.

>>145853
You're describing febfem, anon.
The difference is that a bisexual woman can still choose to be with a man and be relatively happy, but lesbians cannot. It's a privilege to have that choice and we can never have the true lesbian experience because of it.

No. 145861

>>145858
I did. You're saying bi people can't get married which is a fucking stupid thing to say. That was my point. Learn 2 understand sarcasm without the /s to hold your hand, retard.

No. 145864

>>145859
So you're saying that you're still bisexual but have a preference for women, anon, or you experience comphet so strongly that you can't accept being a lesbian? No judgement at all, it just sounds like men don't work for you, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Do you have a preference for feminine men when you date them because you like women, or was going through that process solely to "ween" yourself from the attraction to women?

No. 145870

>>145861
bi people can get married, of course, but if they will no longer continue to participate in homosexual relationships, they are effectively straight. they will not experience any of the oppression that people in homosexual relationships experience. what significance does your attraction to the same sex hold if you're married to the opposite sex? assuming you are faithful and monogamous, you will not act on it because you intend on being with your partner for the rest of your life, so it has no impact on you, your partner, your relationship, the world at large or societal treatment of you. you could describe yourself as previously bisexual if you have a history of romantic and sexual relationships with both men and women. truly, you can self-describe as whatever you want on an individual level– for many (but not all), sexuality is not as immutable as people insist it is– but when it comes to defining the term to create a protected class in the eyes of institutions, a bisexual person is someone who has the continuing intention of dating and having sex with same-sex and opposite-sex partners. you can't bestow or deny someone rights for what they think, only for how they act, which is why the label should be hinged on behavior and not simply attraction.

No. 145871

>>145853
So basically all virgins are asexual

No. 145873

>>145870
While I Am Not Actively Participating In Sex I Am Asexual

No. 145878

Why are bis so obsessed with the lesbian label

No. 145881

>>145878
We aren’t. We want to be bisexual.

No. 145889

I have knew since forever that I was bisexual, for a period of my life I thought I might be lesbian but then I grew out of it and accepted there were men I liked despite my hatred for them. Eventually I grew out of this too and now I have a steady relationship with a man, he lets me have relationships with women but I find out I’m not poly, after all.


I wish lesbians would stop come to this thread and spoil everything by being gatekeeping bitches, I had enough bad experiences with them irl and I am now wary of them.
How come we can’t go on lesbian thread but they can come here and bitch all they want? Fuck off

No. 145898

>>145837
tbh i'm the kind of person who doesn't talk about it IRL and just gets on with my life. personally i don't think sexuality is that complicated. what are you turned on by? bang, boom, gotcha. people who get all mad about the fact that bisexuals exist are wasting their breath and brainpower and making themselves miserable. that was my point.

No. 145899

>>145853
Gay thoughts that are consistent and persistent do actually make someone a homo. A closeted one but a homo nevertheless. It's not all about what you do, or people who are virgins would be asexuals which they are not by default. Orientation is about desire, not whether you have the courage/circumstance to act on it.

No. 145902

>>145899
Well said, might use it when people ask about this stuff!

No. 145909

>>145881
I sure see a lot who want to claim lesbianism

No. 145911

>be me, virgin saving sex for marriage, very "trad" from a young age
>have it in my head from the time i'm about 3 years old that i'll find my very much male soul mate as soon as i grow up and we'll live happily ever after forever
>exclusively crush on boys all throughout childhood, never even consider other girls as anything more than friends
>cannot emphasize enough that i'm obsessed with romance, all i ever do as a kid is fantasize about how wonderful it will be to be in love (with a man) and live like couples in movies like the notebook do
>and yet the first time i remember feeling aroused was when i was maybe eight and saw a woman taking off her bikini in a movie
>was super confused by the feeling, never felt what i now recognize as sexual attraction for the male actors i crushed on and daydreamed about marrying before
>try to replicate feeling by looking at shirtless men, can't do it
>all throughout puberty, exclusively get off to same-sex fantasies while maintaining the strictly straight happily ever after daydreams, never even considering women in a romantic way
>finally, fucking FINALLY, when i'm about 17, i learn to connect my emotional daydreams with my sexual feels and develop a sexual attraction for men
>it requires a lot more thinking and feeling on my part than the raw, innate sexual attraction i felt - and still feel - for women, but it feels just as good
>weirdly, can't replicate that emotional sexual attraction with women i'm physically attracted to, and what i feel for women begins to wane as attraction to men increases
>"okay, i guess i'm definitely straight - i guess that was just a phase"
>enter straight relationship, i'm happy while i'm in it and don't have any sexual thoughts about women at all, further validating my thoughts that i'm straight
>it ends badly, i see men for who they really are, all those daydreams i had about soul mates and true love are shattered
>sexual attraction to women comes back, but i'm still not emotionally attracted to them
>can't really experiment since i'm still saving myself for marriage, but i kiss a female friend while drunk and feel… nothing
>it feels like i'm kissing a family member, there's no sexual chemistry at all and my friend is freaking beautiful
>nothing like kissing a man, which always turns me on
>confusion ensues
i'm still not sure what the fuck i am - straight, bi, closeted lesbian who had to force her attraction to men? bisexual or homosexual but heteroromantic? i suppose it doesn't really matter since it'll work itself out eventually (fingers crossed), but i just wish i understood my feelings better. has anyone else here been in a similar situation?

No. 145913

>>145911
maybe you're bicycling? This happens to me but I bicycle much faster, usually on a monthly basis. One week i'll be like wtf maybe i was straight all along im so stupid and then the next week i'll be like okay that was weird never mind girls are hot again. It will make you feel crazy, and I don't have a solution.

No. 145920

>>145864
Yeah, I'm still bisexual since I do find appeal in men and their penises, it's just in a very odd way at this point (and a way that most wouldn't accept).
>Do you have a preference for feminine men when you date them because you like women, or was going through that process solely to "ween" yourself from the attraction to women?
I didn't date them, and I think it's a mix of both. The attraction that's there I tried to foster into being bigger.

I guess when it comes down to it I'm just too bisexual to be a lesbian but too into women to function in a straight relationship…

>>145911
Are you attracted to your friend? Even if she's conventional, that doesn't mean you specifically will be attracted to her.

No. 146152

File: 1596405480950.jpg (29.15 KB, 604x340, 1166293700503ni3.jpg)

99% sure i'm in love with my best friend, but i'm also not freaking out about it because i might just never tell her, i feel like i can't afford to lose her as a friend.
the dumbest thing is that i adore her, she's my pefect woman, beautiful and talented and funny and generous, she's also bi, we respect and appreciate each other the same amounts and she thinks i'm hot too. part of what motivates me in my current self-improvement drive is wanting to be cute and accomplished enough to be her girlfriend.
I wouldn't even know what to do if she kissed me, i might go into a coma. Why am I living in a cliche? what do i do???

No. 146159

>>146152
Are you both single? Has she shown any kind of signs of interest?

No. 146172

File: 1596413976230.png (40.42 KB, 594x437, eweseless.png)

>>146152
>she's bi
>also finds you hot
Anon pls
If you're that close she probably wouldn't want to lose the friendship either, even if she doesn't return the feelings. Make a move! I believe in you!

No. 146201

>>145911
Super unrelated, but the movie bit when you were 8 reminded me of when I saw the movie Monster as a child and for years afterwards I couldn't listen to Don't Stop Believing without thinking about Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci rollerskating and making out.

No. 146242

>>146172
Bi and les farmers, don't be like female sheep. Pounce.

No. 146306

Hey thanks for replies anons x

>>146159
We're both single and consistently disappointed in men. I'm not looking for a relationship right now cos i need to work on myself but actually I think it could work with her? Because she needs and wants the same thing??
By 'signs of interest' she's never made a concrete move, but she tells me she loves me all the time and tells me how hot i am when we're drunk. She asks me what to do when she's lonely and touch starved and i say 'make a hot water bottle' because i'm a coward.
Yes I do hear myself and i'm sorry.

>>146172
>she probably wouldn't want to lose the friendship either
I don't think she would and I respect her too much to be an asshole if she turns me down, but, I'm a coward.
She's also said she feels like she's outgrown all other friends except me, so I don't want to make her last friendship weird.
She's the first female friendship I've had in a long time and it's something I've always felt insecure about, so I want to enjoy it platonically for at least a bit longer.

>>146242
The dumbest thing is that I have next to no problem asking strangers for their numbers or otherwise being very forward, sometimes with women but always with men. I don't have any experience turning a friendship into a relationship.
How would I even do it???

No. 149105

File: 1598487914501.jpg (151.25 KB, 800x450, face.jpg)

>Last year, I lived in shared housing with this straight woman who I became incredibly close to and knew I was bi
>She would call me in the mornings to wake me up (I have insomnia), and would sometimes call me during the day too, just to talk.
>When she came back from work, we'd sit in her room together for hours, sometimes until 2am
>This was my reality everyday and I was okay with it because I was secretly into her
>However, she could be horrible
>She would constantly insult me and would occasionally throw things at me
>But I accepted it because she was hot
>One day, she randomly cut me off (despite still living together). I tried to fix things but that was that. She didn't explain why
>I accept it and eventually move out, still into this woman despite everything
>She randomly messages me the other month to apologise for everything that happened and says it wasn't my fault
>I still like her and I don't know why

No. 149116

I've only drunkenly hooked up with a friend but we've done it multiple times over the past few years. The first time it was exciting but I didn't really dwell on it. As time went on I realized I love being with a woman. I loved feeling her everywhere, eating her out, kissing and cuddling after….it's only been recently that I realized that liking girls was even an option for me. I'm in a long-term relationship with a man and I can't see us breaking up any time soon but I often think about being in a relationship with a woman these days.

No. 149118

I feel like I swing wildly between being exclusively same-sex attracted and being bisexual just for the sheer convenience of things. I know I'm not a lesbian, but the thought of dating a man sucks. It's what I'll most likely end up doing because of homophobic family members who I unfortunately love and want to stay close to. I've also been training myself to be into penetration for like 10 years so why give up now

No. 149187

File: 1598531779067.jpg (42.36 KB, 1069x1069, svk1pq3yc0051.jpg)

Does anyone go through periods where they prefer one gender for a while, and then switch to preferring the other, and like go back and forth? This happens often with me being mostly interested in guys for like a month then having all my attention on women, sometimes it makes me confused on whether I'm actually straight or a lesbian or if it's just normal for a bi person.

No. 149201

I had a couple of one night stands with women when I was younger and I've had crushes that I never acted on too. Apart from that though I've had two long term bfs that covered all of my twenties so I've never even gone on a date with a woman.

Now I'm single again, in my early thirties and tbh I feel like a phoney if I put myself out there to date women this 'late in life' Anyone relate?

No. 149207

>>149187
I do but I always figured it's just cause I'm bipolar.

No. 149211

>>149187
You're bicycling, welcome to the club. we all hate it here

No. 149213

>>149207
This reminded me of something that happened to me years ago. I had psych appointments every 3 months to check that my anxiety meds were working. At one of the appointments I met a brand new psych and was asked my sexuality. I answered straight because I was caught off guard and didn't want to discuss my sexuality. It really bothered me afterwards and I wished I had asked why they even needed to know.. 3 months later at an appointment with yet another stranger I'm asked again and I say lesbian just because I had my gf sitting in the waiting room so..

Well after that they spoke to me about how I had an 'unstable sense of self' and they were looking into possible personality disorder based on my changing answer. I don't want to disclose my sexuality to a new psch I met ten mins ago! but I also don't have the guts to refuse an answer lol

I still just have anxiety. Nothing thankfully came from it.

No. 149216

>>149187
Yes!
My bisexuality switch between "basically straight" and "basically a lesbian" like no end
I find no attraction to women when I'm "basically straight" and no attraction to men when I'm "basically a lesbian"
It's super weird and it always feels like a switch has flipped due to the absence of attraction I experience to those genders
It's super annoying!

No. 149238

>>149211
Bicycling huh. So there is a name for it and I'm not alone. I'm not always so extreme as other anons but sometimes I am and that is really annoying.

No. 149422

when I was a kid I was attracted to my best friend (a girl). I was also really attracted to evangeline lilly from lost, who looked like a brown haired version of my friend. then my brother told me you can't be a true christian and still be attracted to the same sex (our family is very religious). he had no idea that I had any same sex attraction though. so I prayed and prayed and prayed for my attraction to girls to go away, and it finally did. now I'm an adult and I'm starting to feel attraction towards women again but whenever I start to fantasize about a woman I immediately start to feel disgusted with myself, even though I'm not religious anymore. it's almost like I did conversion therapy on myself. I wish I could get rid of that feeling of disgust. I want to know what dating and sex with a woman is like, maybe even a serious relationship, but I know that even if I got over my own hurdles I have no idea how my family would react to me being in a same sex relationship. both of my parents are homophobic as fuck. I live in the US so being bi or lesbian is a little more acceptable here I guess, but I also wonder how lesbian and bi women deal with their sexuality if they live in a country where same sex marriage isn't legal and everyone is religious.

thanks for reading my whine lol.

No. 149435

am I bi if I think guys are cute but dicks are gross? (I mean I’ve never had sex before & idk if piv is for me either.)

No. 149442

constantly wondering if i'm actually bi or if the intense, nonstop sexualization of women makes me think i am

also constantly wondering why i question myself and why i care about the opinions of dykes who think i'm lying

No. 149443

>>149435
you can define yourself however you want but GENERALLY sexuality = your desire to have sex with someone.

if you would willingly have sex with the opposite gender + same gender you're bi. if you would willingly have sex with only the opposite gender you're straight. if you would willingly have sex with only the same gender you're gay.

No. 149446

>>149213
Lmao thinking you're straight then realizing you're gay wouldn't even mean you have a personality disorder, wtf? Change your psych imo.

>>149435
I mostly agree with the other anon but since you're a virgin it's hard to say. If you still think penises are gross after you've tried em then you can't be bisexual imo. True sexual attraction includes genitalia, at the very least one would be neutral to it.

No. 149461

>>149446
It was about a decade ago so I'm luckily no longer needing those services but yeah even if I'd given conflicting answers because of confusion around my sexuality.. Why pathologize a young person questioning their sexuality?

That psychiatrist must be losing her mind seeing all the new attitudes popping up around identity/sexuality and gender since then lol

No. 149464

>>149187
that shit always happens to me depending on what I'm watching/reading atm. I can see how it may be confusing but I've come to take it as a nice variation in thoughts, totally normal to think about who you want for as long as you want

No. 149481

>>149446

I wouldn’t mind pleasuring a guy. But it’s just the whole touching a penis thing that makes me gag a little. I feel so immature—maybe I just have a male genitalia issue. Vaginas are alright I wouldn’t turn away from touching one. I guess I just need to get over myself and see wether or not it’s for me.

No. 149509

>>149481
I felt pretty grossed out the first time a guy put my hand on his dick, I wasn't as ready as I thought I was and for a while my sex with guys didn't involve me actively doing anything with their penis before sex.. years later I'm still a bit 'meh' when it comes to playing with them but sex itself is still fine.

So I'm many years into being sexually active with men and still weirdly questioning because I suppose the attraction isn't the same compared to how much I want to hands on explore a woman.

No. 149517

>>149481
I'm the same way but reversed. I feel grossed out by the idea of touching a vagina, unless it was someone I was really, really into. I know I'm bi but I don't get why I feel this way and it seems immature af.

No. 149522

>>149517
I feel the same. I went down on a girl I was messing around with but wasn't massively attracted to and I felt a bit like 'this isn't so great', but with my proper girlfriend it was amazing and I loved doing it. Tbh I'd feel the same about dicks too, I think, but in my mind I feel eating a girl out is far more intimate because I know we have hang ups about our genitals and to me, if a girl lets me do that, it's kinda special. A dick is just a dick.

No. 149530

Every time my bf does something shitty I think "a girl wouldn't do this" lol. Like my bf chose free drinks over visitting me. Free booze? Sounds like a man right, but do you imagine a girl doing that? She'd never. I'd also never, personally. I'd rather drink wine with her. God if I break up with him I'm dating a girl. She can hurt me idc at least she won't do stupid men shit. I want to do her makeup, I want to kiss sweet girl's lips. I'll notice the perfume behind her ears and that she put new nail polish to be cute for me. I want to coordinate clothes for a date. I want my gf to whisper my name with trembling voice. I want to go down on a woman. I'm drunk and I will SO date a girl next. I feel like this need for a gf may be trouble if I won't break up but oh well. Maybe I'll be too wrinkly and ugly to fantasize about cute shit by then kek. But now when I imagined that, oh god, two old ladies holding hands, dressed in long flowy dresses? Same colours? Her kissing my hand while gazing into my eyes, wrinkled from laughing with her for years? I mean
Sorry for this post I'll at least sage

No. 149570

>>149530
Anon break up with your bf and date me instead. Let's do all of those things.

No. 149777

>>149530
You just have a shitty bf. I don't know why gender even comes into this? He as an individual is being a shitty partner. So shitty that you're fantasising about what it'd be like to have a non-shitty one lol

No. 149794

>>149777
Its the male socialization tm, men are more prone to be shitty partners because romanticism is never expected of them, heck more sensitive and romantic boys get bullied by other boys fot acting like “fags”.

No. 149799

>>149794
If a guy is being a shitty partner and you find yourself having the most elaborate fantasies about dating a better person..there's a solution to that.

No. 149814

>>149530
so hot i coomed to this pls post more smut pls femanon

No. 151273

I am bicurious, I have only dated men but i'm curious about dating a woman if they catch my attention or if they are interested in me, does anyone have an advice on developing a relationship with a woman?

also people who have religious parents, how do you deal with opening up to your parents about being bisexual?

No. 151275

File: 1600007728009.png (376.82 KB, 434x427, 1D3C2020-A578-4414-8087-6A462C…)

>>149814
eat shit and die scrote

No. 151289

>>151275
Loving this pic.

No. 151396

>>151273
sorry for the long post, but my only advice for finding other queer woman is to find someone bi, lol. being bicurious and sticking to bi women (especially those who are bi4bi) is easier tbh, because imo they’re way more likely to understand you and not take offence if you realise you’re not actually into women romantically. i’ve heard of way too many bi/bicurious girls being verbally abused by gold star lesbians who think all bi women are just straight women deep down, but def take this with a grain of salt because i’m pretty biased, lol.

tbh with the religious parents part it really depends. i’m guessing you mean heavily religious, more conservative religious parents? in which case - be ready to have your (potential) bisexuality invalidated and/or ignored, and be ready to deal with the bs stigma that comes with bisexuality (slutty, diseased, etc). most importantly, though, i’d really recommend looking out for yourself and prioritising your safety. if you don’t think it’s a good time to come out, don’t do it. if you don’t think it’s a good idea until you’re potentially in a serious relationship with a woman, then definitely wait. you know your parents best, though, so this might not be that helpful. good luck figuring everything out though anon!

No. 151403

Finally realized I'm bisexual after years of convincing myself I was a lesbian. I feel free but at the same time a bit guilty, like I was contributing to the idea that lesbianism is a phase. But I never came out to anyone during that time and still never have.

Tbh I'm not even sure if I'd date a woman, like I want to have children and get married and also I'd only be comfortable having sex with my spouse (call me a prude but I hate making myself vulnerable like that). Is anyone else the same?

No. 151408

>>151403
I’m married, love my husband, don’t care about other men, but I’m very much attracted to other women.

I think it’s mostly in a platonic way but I do have sexual fantasies. I’m kinda prude too but I find women a lot more sexually appealing than men, although I do enjoy sex with my male partner.

No. 151409

>>151403
>I want to have children and get married
…can't you do that with a woman, though?
But also no judgement since I essentially had the opposite realization that I'm very far from hetero and want to go for only women due to desire for a feminine partner.

Whatever is easiest to get what you want, anon. Sperm donor shit can be scary and adoption is hard.
(Also yeah, I could never do anything even polyamory-adjacent despite being attracted to so many people)

No. 151413

>>151403
congrats anon! and i’m also like militantly monogamous. thinking about and seeing poly stuff makes me cringe like mad tbh, i could never imagine doing it at all.

No. 151527

Hello bisexys

No. 151556

>>151409
I mean I want to have biological children with my partner. IMO donor shit is weird and I don't feel comfortable having some random dude's kid, or raising someone else's.

I'm very much sexually attracted to women but I feel like dating them would be a waste of time considering my desire for a family and to be protected. It's also frustrating to me that lesbian sex can't be 'mutual' in the same way that PIV or male-on-male PIA can be, which makes me worry that sex with another woman wouldn't be entirely enjoyable because I'd be really conscious of the fact that one of us wasn't feeling anything.
I mainly get off to my partner being pleasured so if I did have sex with a woman I'd probably be a 'stone top' which wouldn't be very satisfying to me. Also I really like penetration but a woman could only do that with a toy or with her hand which I could already just do on my own.

Sorry this delved into a huge paragraph about my sexual preferences lmao.

No. 151560

>>151556
Sure sounds straight in here

No. 151569

>>151556
straight get out

No. 151570

>>151569
>>151560
You're seriously calling me straight after I described how I'd have sex with a woman? LOL

I come from a very conservative religious household and repressed the shit out of my sexuality for years so sorry I'm not exactly banging women left and right. I thought I was a lesbian for a reason.

No. 151572

>>151570
Yeah you described how you wouldn't enjoy your hypothetical lesbian sex, don't worry it's ok to not be gay

No. 151580

>>151570
You described Sapphic sex and how much it disinterests/wouldn't satisfy you. How does that make you gay lol. I can talk about how I would have sex as a gay man, but that doesn't make me a gay man. It'd be one thing if you described and enjoyed it, but seeing as you don't want a partnership with women and the sex disinterests you, like? What are people supposed to think kek.

No. 151582

>>151580
>>151572
NTA but this is such a stupid excuse to gatekeep. People can be repressed/uncomfortable with certain sex acts for reasons other than sexual preference.

No. 151584

>>151580
>>151572

I didn't say I wouldn't enjoy it at all, I'm just saying that I'm worried (as someone who's a total virgin) having everything be one-way wouldn't satisfy me. Keep reaching though. Plenty of straight women are put off by PIV and that doesn't somehow make them asexual.

No. 151593

>>151584
>straight wimin that dont like PIV abloobloo
If those women also listed several other ways they hate the dynamics of a straight relationship, yeah I'd say they're either asexual or are gay in denial.

No. 151594

>>151582
Okay explain why she doesn’t want to even pursue a relationship with a woman because she can’t fathom a domestic life with one?
>>151593
Based queen

No. 151597

>>151556
>I'm very much sexually attracted to women
Everything you wrote after that was you bascially saying lesbian sex seems shit and not worth your time. Girl come on now.

If you can dismiss the idea of sex with women before you've ever even tried it.. go live your straight life and don't worry yourself about the 'what ifs' that you'll never even explore anyway.

No. 151616

I have dealt with one guy implying I'm not bi or "bi enough" because I don't objectify women like dudes do with locker room talk, and another guy who lowkey made me feel like I'm somehow lesser because "bi girls can leave for a woman" and that's bad but leaving for different/more dick is fine. Why can I not just be myself and how is this really that bad and different from the straight option? I don't feel "that bi" since I've had a guy preference for a while and been with a dude for ages but if things went south I had actively considered not dating men anymore.
I just am being reminded of how alone I feel sometimes and how I used to hate/doubt who I am over this. I used to doubt I was really in love with my ex because I didn't want to be bi, even though I was completely heartbroken when she left. I feel like it's totally natural for me to be open to whatever gender if I find the person attractive inside and out, and unnatural to make a big deal out of it. Being bi isn't a huge part of my life since I've been monogamous for so long, and I don't want to be one of those annoying girls with bfs who insert themselves into bi/~queer~ stuff, but I hate having to put up with the judgement. I just want to be without it being a big deal or having people push their assumptions on me instead of judging me for who I actually am personality wise.

No. 152393

>>151616
The problem is you're giving scrote's opinions WAY too much credit. That's it. Don't talk to them about your sexuality, don't argue in your head with their stupid soundbites that they've forgotten saying, don't try to convince them of anything. Straight men's opinions and your actions/feelings are a whole universe apart.
I say this as somebody who was very hurt when my ex boyfriend told me I wasn't 'really' bisexual because (at the time) I hadn't slept with any women. Then I realized he was just talking bullshit about things he knew nothing about, as usual. The kicker was that he was always extremely, confidently straight, AND I TOOK HIS VIRGINITY. He didn't need experience to confirm his sexuality, but I did apparently. He even said he wished he was bisexual because they 'had more options'. That should have clued me in to how little he knew about bisexuality.

Work out where the judgement is actually coming from, and learn not to care. If you're pre-judging yourself based on what you think others are thinking? Fine, you can just work on your insecurities. From cumbrained scrotes? Literally not even worth considering. Bitter gatekeeping lesbians? Not anything to do with you.

People will literally always be annoyed at you for being yourself, in any situation. You will always be misunderstood and disliked for reasons that are nothing to do with you, because people view the world through a lens of their own bullshit and issues.

No. 154437

>>154436
Is this like being a pickme but for dykes?

No. 154453

>>151556
>It's also frustrating to me that lesbian sex can't be 'mutual' in the same way that PIV or male-on-male PIA can be
How bad does your imagination have to be to think this?

No. 158444

May be a controversial question, but… what do other bisexuals think of FDS? Maybe it’s because I’ve never touched a dating app in my life but the advice they give people makes me nauseous. I can only think of it as a straight girl cope for people who wish they were gay or bi.

No. 158446

>>158444
I really find mileage varies from post to post, but generally FDS is better to read for entertainment than for any actual useful advice.

No. 158875

I've only ever dated men but I've almost exclusively masturbated to the thought of women for going on 20 years now. I play it off as meaning nothing. I had two ONSs with women when I was young and I similarly pretend like that never happened or like it doesn't mean anything. The denial is strong

No. 158877

>>158444
My understanding is that it was made for black women dating black men, and older women, who don't have the best dating prospects and were raised to often chase guys who treat them like shit. It wasn't made for nerds on imageboards getting into e-relationships.

No. 159069

>>158446
i think it could be good for women that just came out of a toxic relationship where they overextended themselves, but once you pull yourself up and start working on your boundaries and self-respect, i think you are done here. fds could be used for some improvement/advice, but it is not a place where you should spend several hours a day. use some of the advice and move on, since the self-improvement stuff they give is bare bones anyway

No. 159197

File: 1605029719959.jpg (105.17 KB, 764x1024, 7v3ig.jpg)

I have dated a woman once but it was years ago, since then I have only been with men. So Im feeling "new" in dating women. Should I try just sex first to feel more certain in my sexuality? Also I at least want the sexual experience so I dont have to be that woman who ends up with a husband and begs other women for threesomes.

No. 159206

>>159197
just state your casual sex/dating intentions beforehand and give it a try, if you feel comfortable with that. it is definitely better than trying to jump into serious relationships, if you are unsure.

No. 163171

Feeling nostalgic for my teen years, I have 2 cringy stories to share

> be 16

> following cute ana guy on tumblr who writes poetry and likes pop punk
> we meet up at a yellowcard concert
> first kiss during ocean avenue
> we were both sixteen and it felt so right
> date long distance for a few months but break up cause train tickets are expensive
> four months later
> following cute ana girl on tumblr who writes poetry and likes pop punk
> she goes to my school
> we date for a few weeks but i graduate and move away
> tell her i’m not ready for a long distance relationship and tell her about ana guy
> “oh you follow ana guy too?”
> we break up
> few months later
> ana guy and ana girl are long distance dating
> posting their cute couple pics all over tumblr and tagging me in every post
They broke up and they’re both still ana and with other ana people now, meanwhile I’ve become a fatass lol

> be 18

> study art & design history, dating only attractive guy in our year
> lesbian uni friend makes me join lgbt club
> spend most our time at events talking about our crush on INSANELY pretty girl from uni
> pretty girl best friends with my bf, i drag lesbian friends to the parties i know pretty girl is at
> pretty girl openly flirts with lesbian friend, with bf, and me
> friend has gf i have bf we decide our crush is innocent cause pretty girl is straight
> bf said she’s straight!
> lgbt soc event: random girl introduces her gf, oh no it’s pretty girl
> …
> gears turning in head
> pretty girl’s flirting with friend and me was SERIOUS?
> but then… pretty girl’s flirting with bf was SERIOUS?
> pretty girl’s gf dumps her cause she doesn’t like the friendship between her and my bf
> i ask bf why he said pretty girl is straight when he knows i have a crush on her, now the crush is embarrassing
> “oh i meant she’s straight like you”
> … i am not straight
> “no like you’re straight but wouldn’t mind kissing a girl cause it’s hot”
> we break up and he sleeps with pretty girl within 2 weeks after the break up

No. 163172

>>163171
So many missed opportunities for threesomes

No. 163176

>>163172
If only teenage me hadn’t been so fucken insecure kek

No. 163189

I randomly hooked up once with my good friend in college. I ate her out and finger fucked her. I have no idea where that came from because I was always straight, but after that experience I had a big mental breakdown, started drinking heavily, and dropped out of college. I identified as gay for awhile but I’m married to a cis male now and I still think about women (and my friend in college) to this day, lol.

No. 163422

>>163189
never could understand why bi people have so many issues with coming out. It seems like lesbians have a better time discovering themselves

No. 163911

>>163422
Because being bi isn't as cut and dry as "I will never be sexually attracted to men, therefore my family and friends will have no choice but to get over it at some point." There's always the pressure, a lot of times perceived, to get married to a man and have kids with only him. And it's like, you're not straight so you're still an outsider to that culture, too. It will never fit you like a glove the way it will for actual straight people.

The irony is that straight man + bisexual woman is a terrible fucking combo.

Being bisexual is like being an alien when you realize the truth is that the vast majority of people are literally only attracted to one sex or the other and can't imagine doing both. Anyway as time goes by I accept the possibility of giving my parents a stroke by ending up with a woman. Men are a chore to deal with, and my past experiences with male retardation have left me becoming less and less sexually attracted to them. I wonder how much of the "bi woman ends up with a man" thing has to do with major insecurities anyway.

No. 164218

i'm female exclusive, but not for political/radfem reasons or anything, but simply because men in my area are just so damn unattractive, whether physically or personality wise, and i don't trust LDRs. Then again, I'm more forever alone than anything, the w4w dating scene here is just so bleak, even tinder here is nothing but straight girls looking for platonic friends

No. 164543

>>164218
samefag but don't know where to ask this: why are most of my female fantasies pretty vanilla tier, yet still more satisfying than the coomer shit i get with males?

No. 164548

>>164543
because pussy-to-pussy is taboo enough!

No. 167928

Any tips for getting into dating women? I'm planning to be female exclusive, I can't help my attraction but I would just rather date women. I don't know how to flirt or signal that I'm interested.

No. 168587

>>56474
i have a girlfriend now

No. 170804

bumping the thread for anon in the lesbian thread. honestly i really want a girlfriend right now, also so i can get all the husbandos off my mind. i feel like dating a woman might distract me even more from fictional men than a man would? never actually dated either tbh.

No. 170806

Why do some women pretend to be bi? I wish I could understand because it causes a lot of heartache (if that's the right word) and general difficulty for those of us, either bi or lesbian, who genuinely want to be involved with girls.

No. 170808

>>170806
I think it’s mostly pickmes wanting to appeal to men and a lack of understanding around female sexuality in general. Women are bombarded with images of attractive women, and we tend to see things through a male gaze because that’s the dominant view. It’s not surprising that many women get genuinely confused.

No. 170811

>>170806
It could be that they are actually bi but shame or internalized misogyny makes them only date men. And some just want the attention for thinking boobs look nice I guess.

No. 170812

>>170811
This. Women who find other women attractive are just obviously not blind. If they don't seek out relationships with women they aren't gay. The whole pure sex appeal shit is clearly male gaze.

No. 170817

>>168587
good for you!!!

No. 170843

File: 1612758903899.jpeg (166.31 KB, 720x1039, 216A3759-6C9D-46D0-8A2F-40E1AF…)

>>163171
It’s pretty weird to say ana when what you mean is thin. Also might just be me but super thin body types on both men and women are just as gross to me as fat fucks. I like women to be the lower end of a normal BMI or higher end of normal if they have cute af faces and cute little boobs. And ofc my own celeb crush aka handsome picrel has a dad bod.

Some people mentioned trans people and I find FTMs so attractive, don’t know how anyone couldn’t like them tbh.

No. 170858

>>170806
Some of them do it for clout chasing, especially if they are in a very liberal environment like art. They tend to be young people though, hopefully they grow out of it.

>>170843
>don’t know how anyone couldn’t like them tbh
Because they tend to be neurotic messes who only care about gender shit.

No. 170861

File: 1612770719908.gif (921.44 KB, 245x320, If I don't fight, I can't win_…)

God i want to shove my face in some pussy

I never liked the idea of dating girls, even when I realized I want to fuck them. Part of it is that I like cock too much, but I think its also because I've developed feelings for female friends before that I always suppressed as soon as I felt them… Like for example, I'm with my pal and I think damn she looks good in that dress… NO! BAD ANON! THATS YOUR FRIEND!

It's like I can't be emotionally close with a female and attracted to her at the same time. One of my best friends, man, there's something there but I just can't let those feelings blossom, thats a boundary I can't push. And she's also bisexual but that just makes it worse. Just the thought of touching her or being romantic with her repulses me because I can't see her in that way. But there's something there! I fucking hate this. Why can't I catch romantic feelings for a random girl who isn't my friend? Not that I want ti meet new people. I have a male fwb and that's enough for me, for now. God. This post started out as a rant about wanting to eat pussy then I had my epiphany of why I dont want to date girls.

I've never even fucked a girl before. Ive just made out with them at a sleepover once, but I was like 13 so that doesnt count. I've been doubting my bisexuality because I have no real experience and no desire to have a girlfriend but THATS starting to change too… Just yesterday I was thinking about how comfy it would be to chill in my imaginary girl's room and doing whatever…


Sorry for this rambling mess but I can't tell anyone else about this. I just need to fuck a girl to confirm that I really like them and I'm not just a bored straight girl.

No. 170862

Samefag, I've asked my male fuckbuddy for a threesome with another girl and he said no. Just. LMFAO. Now i know how males feel when they beg their women for threesomes. Not that i wouldnt fuck a girl outside of a threesome but i genuinely want to have one. His reasoning? Hes so ugly it would take forever to find someone. Which is true.

No. 170868

>>170862
Why are you with such an ugly guy?

No. 170872

>>170862
If he's just a fuck buddy then I can't imagine why you're even fucking around with him. Ugly bfs are a thing but fwbs kinda need to be attractive and somewhat sexually compatible.. Asking uggo to fulfil a fantasy with you and getting turned down… Nice, Why bother?

No. 170904

anyone else used to be convinced she was a lesbian at first? hell, i'm sure all my real life acquaintances think i'm gay despite never coming out to anyone, except for my family who are stil convinced i'm straight. the funniest thing is that it was video game characters who made me question my lack of attraction towards men. seriously.

No. 170944

>>170904
>anyone else used to be convinced she was a lesbian at first

Me. Came out as gay at 12 and went through the whole bullying thing with a group of girls in school, didn't fuck any men until I was mid 20s, went through the whole bullying thing again with a group of bi women who didn't like that I hadn't fucked men. My family still thinks I'm gay and I haven't told them I'm bi because I don't actually want to end up with a man which I know is what they will expect if I do.

No. 170955

>>170904

yeah, i only really felt attraction to real girls and the vague idea of men until i turned 18. but my bisexuality is so bipolar that i doubt ill ever be able to hold another relationship again lmao

No. 170972

>>170868
I caught (sexual) feelings for him. He's not a hideous swampmonster but not my usual type either. I guess I shouldn't have called him ugly since I do like him but I'm just being honest.
>>170872
Because I like him? We're pretty sexually compatible and I enjoy his company. And yeah its pretty pathetic getting rejected for a threesome but I dont care. I just find it funny that people latched onto me having an uggo fwb when that's the only positive part of my post.

No. 170999

Is it really normal to go from having an interest in a sex and then not wanting anything to do with it? I felt like I was the only one and often questioned myself in every relationship.

No. 171019

>>170999
It's annoying but normal, at least for me. Hormonal and mental health changes do it for me, this is such dusty advice but have you ever tracked your cycle, most women have peaks of horny in set times during their cycle, mine is right around ovulation.

No. 171024

>>170972
> I just find it funny that people latched onto me having an uggo fwb when that's the only positive part of my post.
You're not making alot of sense. Fucking an ugly guy is a positive?

And latching onto what? People commenting on details you provided is how discussions work.. gotta love how weirdly defensive some anons will get over an admittedly ugly no-strings scrote lol

No. 171026

>>170944
>bi women who didn't like that I hadn't fucked men

Is this a thing? I was shit on by bi women (and lesbians) for dating a boy at the time but why would they care if you dont fuck men?

No. 171038

>>171026
Because we live in a homophobic society and it’s generally frowned upon to be a woman with no experience with men, and les/bi women are not exempt from this type of thinking because of how we’re raised

No. 171045

>>171038
But women are shamed for having sex with men as well. I guess you cant win. However bullying sucks, no matter the reason.

No. 171272

>>171024
Because it was a minor minor part of my post, I shouldn't have included it at all because its irrelevant to the rest of my post, which is about how intimacy with girls scares me and I'm suppressing my feelings for my best friend which I have to deal with every time I talk to her or see her and its torture. So yes having an uggo scrote I can use to satisfy my sex drive whenever I want is pretty positive compared to everything else I wrote.

No. 171274

File: 1613003382859.jpeg (72.36 KB, 1125x596, 67684582-E022-4AF5-96E8-702723…)

I’m curious what the people ITT think of the Kinsey scale and where they’d put themselves on it. I would personally put myself at about 4

No. 171276

>>171274
i'll be fair and say i'm a 5. only because…
>attracted to andro 2D men.

No. 171277

>>171274
I also put myself around a 4.

No. 171285

>>171274
5. I also think very few people are true 0s or 6s, a lot more people have bisexual tendencies than they think.

No. 171312

>>171285
I feel like I’ve moved from a 5 to a 4 but it’s confusing because I’ve seen people who claim to be 5 talk about having babies from relationships, like? One thing I feel is I could never be happy in a relationship with a man. FWB is the most I want.

No. 171315

File: 1613050517577.png (276.92 KB, 3328x1155, 2.png)

>>171274
I did the online test right now. It's a 2. Yep, that feels just right.

No. 171318

File: 1613051011298.jpg (65.58 KB, 474x674, tatsu.jpg)

>>171274
I thought I was a 3 and got 3 using this test. However I don't see myself ever marrying a scrote unless he acts like a devoted house husband. Women just seem like way better marriage material because of sexist gender roles.

>>171285
At least I think a lot of "straight" people are actually bi, especially men who often don't dare to admit it.

No. 171320

i'd say i'm about a 4.5? when it comes to men, 98% of those i find attractive are video game characters, but damn if i don't get horny over them. but i find all kinds of women (acquaintances, celebrities, fictional) attractive.

thoughts on the "all women are bi, but no men are" thing? personally i think it's bullshit

No. 171325

>>171274
I got a 4.

I’m more often attracted to women. I mostly fantasize about women. But they are almost always straight.

Slept with a butch woman but wasn’t super attracted to her personality. Same going to lesbian bars, I never attracted the type of women I like. Only once have I met a lesbian who I was 100% about who liked me. The timing didn’t work out at all, but I still think about her years later. Like I have no way of even talking to her now and I want to punch myself in the face.

Mostly I’ve had relationships with men. I’m not at all attracted to very masculine men, and I’m pretty happy with the men most straight women reject. So it makes homosexual dating extremely easy for me.

If more women were gay and my family more accepting of homosexual relationships, I would easily be exclusively with women. Oh well, c’est la vie.

No. 171331

>>171320
There are plenty of bi men. Lots of them don’t even know it and continue to call themselves straight despite wanting to do stuff like frot with MTFs and suck their dicks.

No. 171335

>>171320
I've always told bfs that I'm super open minded..as a result of that (kind of lie) I've had enough of them open up to me about both fetishes and how they fucked a guy once. Even male friends, fucking roommates have opened up to me (and apparently nobody else) about a once-off gay fuck or a male fuck buddy they kept a secret from everyone

That's what I think is happening, alot more of that than we know of

No. 171343

>>171331
This is true. I've also had past "straight" male friends and exes open up to me and say they would fuck a MTF or femboy/trap as long as they're feminine enough. You can even see this on 4chan where people love to argue that it's still straight to fuck guys as long as you're on top.

No. 171410

>>171335
I have kind of a thing for bi men but my understanding is a lot of women don't. I wish they'd be more open about it but I totally get why they're not.

No. 171413

>>171410
An awful lot of the secretive bi experiences I've had shared with me were affairs. In a way I can see how they were driven to be secretive but being secretive WHILE dating someone already makes it this incredibly shitty (and health risking) thing for the woman which in turn will make her distrust bi men if the guy is caught. It's such a mess but men messing around with crossdressers and other men sometimes feel entitled to cheat because they use that shaming as a way to justify it to themselves.

Being open would help fix that weird cycle of it creating distrust and being used as the most messed excuse to fuck around, but I think men will stay in their comfort zone of having an unaware gf and just hitting up Grindr the odd time while 'working late'

No. 171414

>>171320
I think it's just that male homosexuality is more taboo, I know loads of "straight" men who are also attracted to other men, but don't act on it or keep it on the downlow to avoid homophobia from future partners/friends/family/workplace

No. 171417

>>171274

I guess I would be a 3 but I dont really like the use of Kinsey scale as Kinsey also researched "children's sexuality" by letting pedos abuse children:

https://spotlightonabuse.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/kinseys-paedophiles/

No. 171430

>>171414
Not a bi anon, but dudes who lie about their sexuality in a relationship are usually cheating.

No. 171699

Does anyone else worry they're "not bi enough"? I know it's stupid but somehow I always feel wrong for having a same sex lean and have to remind myself that plenty of bi men prefer women too, it's especially bad when most places seem to focus on women who prefer men.

No. 171705

>>171699
I have never dated or had sex with a woman which makes me feel inadequate as a bi woman, but the fact that I've never done either with a man doesn't bother me, it's really strange.

No. 171772

>>171699
>>171705
yes, i feel the same as both of you! it’s a really weird situation and i feel as if it’s something i’ve internalised solely through outward expectations that other people have placed upon me. it’s difficult to manoeuvre, especially as an extremely monogamous bi woman in a relationship - even when i get past the whole ‘you’re a fake bi’ stuff, i get oddly sad about the fact i might not get the chance to ever fall in love with and be with a woman. it’s weird but it’s good to know i’m not alone!

No. 171871

File: 1613492782458.jpeg (1.05 MB, 828x1102, AA099747-29B0-4E8F-9AFB-BAF2AD…)

Would a bi only dating app be a good idea? I kind of like the thought of it

No. 171873

>>171871
>because lesbians are really mean to us sometimes
jesus christ
but as long as they also ban couples and straight men i don't see a problem with it

No. 171877

>>171873
People would probably say it was “exclusionary” if they banned straight male/bi female couples

No. 171883

>>171871
>’bi plus’
this specific thing looks corny as fuck but i would use a bi only app since i’m only interested in dating other bisexuals anyway. it would be an absolute nightmare though - it would be swamped full of freaks in less than a week. bisexual women especially don’t have any spaces online that aren’t invaded by self-hating ‘pansexuals’/dykes that end up appropriating our spaces/fucking men or str8 women trying to get us to fuck them so this would be no different. it’s nice in theory tho!

No. 171885

>>171873
>but as long as they also ban couples and straight men

This, and banning troons, would be the key to a good app.

No. 171887

>>171883
>dykes that end up appropriating our spaces/fucking men

I don’t really know what this means but personally I think bi only spaces and lesbian only spaces are a good idea and don’t understand why people are so opposed to the thought of them. It’s not like it means we can never mix, just that we have our own spaces too. But of course even the lesbian thread on here is full of bi women in denial. As for bi men, I feel they can be more similar to straight men than woketards like to assume, but I’d still be interested in sharing an app with them as long as they were genuine.

No. 171889

>>171871
Her exists. If a lesbian isn’t interested in a bi girl they just swipe left. This is one of the stupidest things I’ve seen in a long time.

No. 171890

>>171887
what i meant is that lesbians often appropriate spaces bisexual women build for ourselves so we can talk about our attraction to both men and women without being shamed or judged. they’ll invade the communities we create and purposely focus on how you can only REALLY be gay if you only focus on how much you like women, and shame us for our attraction to men until we feel too ashamed to acknowledge that side of bisexuality.

why do you think the lesbian general on here is so full of bisexual women who refuse to admit they're bi? men are shit but we’re still allowed to find them sexy, and there are no spaces online where we’re free to express this without some annoying dyke popping up to be like IMAGINE BEING ATTRACTED TO MEN LMAO or whatever.

No. 171893

>>171890
I’m not shaming you. I’m bi and like men too obviously, I’m not trying to argue here.

No. 171897

>>171871
I have actually downloaded some bi app, but it had like 5 users in my country.

also
>cuffing
Do any of you actually do this or are they just trying to make it into a thing? Im just glad bis dont have any stereotypes about looks as we already have enough of "confused greedy sluts" ones.

No. 171902

am i the only one here who only wants to date other bis? i realize that's limiting my dating pool by a lot but i'm in no rush to find someone and it's what i feel most comfortable with tbh

No. 171905

>>171902
No, I only want to date other bi people too. I don’t even think we’re limiting ourselves that much, the lesbian dating pool is much smaller. I would hate to end up with a straight man, it wouldn’t feel right to me at all.

No. 171921

>>171890
>woman who frequents terf imageboard is also homophobic

not sure what i was expecting, tbh

No. 171929

>>171921
Nta, terf doesn't mean homophobe, most likely terfs are lesbian and bi women.

No. 171974

I have been talking to this woman online for a month and we are going to finally meet friday. So exited!

No. 171975

>>171921
By your own retarded logic, she's also heterophobic.

No. 171981

>>171890
>what i meant is that lesbians often appropriate spaces bisexual women build for ourselves
Isn't it usually the other way around? Why would lesbians barge into bi spaces when they're annoyed by men talk?

No. 171983

>>171981
all this talk about "appropriation" is idiotic. bisexual women and lesbians didn't even use to be clearly defined separate categories until very recently

No. 171986

>>171981
That anon has some kind of chip on her shoulder. I’ve literally not seen lesbians do that and I’ve been out since I was 12.

No. 171992

File: 1613580523270.jpg (65.87 KB, 1200x673, sad-sonic-the-hedgehog-1200x67…)

>parents be like "your future husband, or wife, whatever it's [current year]"
>take this as a sign they are ok with me potentially not being straight
>drop more and more hints i'm bi as the days go on, but not actually come out
>parents be like "your future HUSBAND", emphasis on husband, no longer mentioning wife
is this a common experience? should i even bother to come out to them?

No. 171995

>>171992
When I was in my last relationship (3 years with a guy) my dad could not stop dropping hints that he's okay with gay people. He was a bit homophobic when I was growing up so I guess it was nice to see him change with the times lol

Since that relationship ended… he has stopped saying all that shit. I feel way more of a need to open up about this now that I'm not locked into what I thought would be a possibly 'forever relationship'. Great, now that the need to open up is here.. he's awfully quiet about gays. I feel your frustration.

No. 172004

I'm often afraid to date lesbians because I feel like a lot of them worry I'm a poser who's wasting their time. Not all of them intentionally project that feeling obviously, but ever since hearing a few lesbians complain about it, I can't help but feel bad.

I prefer other bisexuals (male or female.) I feel like it's easier to be on the same page that way. Obviously If I ever met a straight men or gay woman I really clicked with, I would give it a try still, but for some reason I just think finding people is easier within our own community.

No. 172007

>>172004
What do you think of lesbians who prefer to date other lesbians? It seems hypocritical that some of us bitch about that when we also prefer to date other bis

No. 172009

>>171992
My mom thinks I’m a lesbian cause I came out to her at 17 before realising I was bi. Now I’m worried to come out again because I know she hasn’t been the most accepting of gay people in the past (I do feel she’s grown a bit since then though) and I don’t want her to think I’ll end up with a husband and give her grandkids.

No. 172010

>>172007
I totally understand why lesbians would only want to date other lesbians. I touched on this before, but they relate to each other better because they're part of the same little community. So long as they just have a preference for each other and aren't disparaging bi women, I don't care what they do.

I don't really take any romantic preferences personally. I like when people are up front about that sort of thing.

No. 172016

I personally feel if someone has a lot of negative impressions of me because I am bisexual that I would rather they be vocal about that so I could make the informed decision not to get close to them. I don't mind that a much as if they were staying in my life and keeping that secret resentment for me.

No. 172017

>>172016
Is this really so common? Maybe I just never hear about it cause pretty much my entire circle is bi

No. 172260

>>171992
I told my mom once that I was bi (or rather she asked me if was attracted to both men and women) and for a while she said "boyfriend or girlfriend" like yours, and the other day she said something like "whoops wrong gender, you're not attracted to women anyway". I think she has completely forgotten about it, since I'm a schizoid autist I don't date, so I'm not really open about my sexuality, but still it stings to see she doesn't really listen to me. I've also always been very vocal about never getting married and having kids since early childhood, to which she was always supportive, but recently she's been saying things like "never say never, you don't know what can happen", which always gets on my nerves. If I ever date a woman I'll never tell her (or my dad for that matter), I know she doesn't like lesbians and my parents don't want to understand what bisexuality is at all.

No. 172509

Started having sex dreams about a straight friend I'm not even attracted to.

But I have had multiple now to the point where I feel awkward talking to her.

No. 172591

>>172010
Same thing. I totally get it, even if it makes me sad that my dating pool is tiny as a bi woman who only wants to date women. I've know a few bi men who only want to date bi people (men or women) for similar reasons but never a bi women who only wants to date bi people, for whatever reason. Just a lot of bi women who only date men because it's easier.

No. 172803

Does anyone here wish they were more straight leaning? I’m probably a Kinsey 4 and have only dated women but find myself feeling pressured to show more attraction to men because I worry bi women who do prefer men don’t respect me. As another bi anon said in the lesbian thread right now it seems that straight leaning bis are the most vocal and the discussion often revolves around men and idk I wish either I could be different or things in general could be different in that I knew more bi women with a same sex preference.

No. 172804

>>172803
sorry in advance for a long and corny reply but i can't really answer your question properly because though i'm more interested in women, i'm currently in a relationship with a bi man. i did just wanna say though that i don't think you need to worry too much about bi women with a male preference judging you or having any negative feelings about you - i have a mix of bi friends who lean either way in terms of preference, but there's no judgement or anything like that. i think it's easier to bond over our shared experiences than it is to nitpick our differences in things like gender attraction or whatever. from my experiences, i've also seen the opposite from bi women with a preference in men - they tend to worry a lot that bi women with a preference for women will judge them for being 'bihet' or whatever that stupid phrase is, so i hope that helps in making you feel a little less under a microscope to know that it's a shared experience. i hope this doesn't come off as me trying to be like 'oh well who cares lol everyone feels that way' - definitely not what i'm trying to do!

also, your point about much of the discussion in bisexual female spheres surrounding men is really interesting, and it's not something i've realised before. i assume it tends this way because it's hard to distinct ourselves and form our own community away from lesbians by talking solely about women, but so much of the discourse in bi spaces also revolves around men (like 'you're still bi if you've only been with men or if you prefer men!') because of the general LGB discourse that tends to label bisexuals as 'not gay enough'. in general, i'm also sorry that you feel excluded because of this - i feel like that's something really important that i've never seen discussed in bi spaces before, and i hope it's focused on more.

No. 172806

I would say my feelings lean more towards women, but I live in a shitty small town so men are just easier to date. I love the man I'm with but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on experiences with women. The only women that show interest in me are curious straight girls that I'm not attracted to. Even girls that I thought were just good friends end up trying to use me to get off after a couple drinks. I've had sex with a few women, but only had serious relationships with men. The imposter syndrome is real sometimes.

No. 172842

I feel kind of gross or wanting to do sexual things to other women. like, I can fantasize about having sex with women in my head who don't really exist, but wanting to have sex with women in real life feels really wrong and dirty to me for some reason.

No. 172955

>>170861
nonny i think u just have some internalized homophobia OR just anxiety about ruining friendships. i was in love w my best (female) friend for years and never told her, it crushed me, and made me try to push down my feelings for girls in the future. the next time i made a close female friend and was attracted to her, i ignored and suppressed it for over a year bc i thought it would be the same painful situation. i had the same feeling of revulsion and 'no you can't think she's hot that's bad'
then she asked me out and the fact that id had feelings for her all along hit me like a brick and now we're in love & live together lmao
sorry for blogpost but i think you should accept and allow ur feelings for girls! you're not a creep or weird for crushing on a friend or thinking she's hot in a dress. just let urself feel it! maybe something will come of it! even if it doesn't, you didn't do anything wrong and there's no need to suppress ur feels

No. 172977

>>172842
Sounds like internalized homophobia

No. 173060

>>172804
I don’t really feel comfortable in a lot of bi spaces because there are so few of us who prefer women imo and I worry that if I was more vocal about it I’d be pigeonholed as a “mean lesbian”. While it’s unintentional a lot of the discourse makes me feel like there’s something seriously wrong with me for not wanting a relationship with a man… I would want a male FWB but the thought of passing as a straight girl makes me feel gross. But then at the same time I get jealous of girls with boyfriends because of how normal it is. I knew I wasn’t straight when I was 12 and never had this problem until a few years ago. I hope none of this sounds whiny either, I’m just like… wtf do I do kek

No. 173067

>>173060
>>172803
I kind of understand? Wish I was full les though since women are awesome. Just feels like I'm in a weird limbo where my experience isn't fully bisexual since I never intend to engage with men but I'm not a lesbian because I have fantasized about males in the past.
In the past I felt the reverse and tried super hard to focus on men so that I could finally "fit in" to normie society in some way, but could never make the leap into actually touching one because my feelings evaporate. Now I've come to terms with my preference, but feel weird when other bis mention men.

But like >>172804 said the bisexual experience is really variable. It's just as confusing to everyone, I think, except maybe the true 50/50's.

No. 173068

>>173067
I wouldn’t wanna be full les. I think the way they’re treated in uwu queer circles is especially bad right now and I’m kind of relieved I can say I’m bi and hopefully not be shit on as much for it or questioned about trans issues. I didn’t sleep with any men till recently and tbh the way people treat you for it is terrible. If I could go back in time I’d fuck men from the beginning because I want that sense of belonging so much. It’s messed up. I still feel like if I make a real effort I can become a 50/50 bi which is truly a fucked up way of thinking, I want it though.

No. 173147

>>173060
This is why I avoid bi spaces. 100% bi and like men too but since it's a bi space sometimes the men tend to become more vocal and screech because they're not getting enough attention or whatever. I also hate the "everyone is valid" midset there tends to be.

Not fully related to what you posted but I feel like I had ro vent sorry

No. 173150

unpopular opinion in certain places i guess but no, straight people shouldn't be in lgb spaces even if dating a bi person

No. 173152

>>173150
Is that really unpopular? I mean it makes sense, they're not lgbt. Allies are important but they also don't really belong.

No. 173156

another unpopular opinion, but insisting bisexual people have to label their preferences so others can figure out how "gay(or straight)-adjacent" they are is just rehashed "pick a side" rhetoric. same for the bihet vs febfem dichotomy i keep seeing lately

No. 173327

>>173156
Preferences often come up in discussion so it can be hard to avoid especially when a lot of the discourse is focused on women who prefer men.

No. 173330

>>173327
the main problem in the preference (whether for males or females) discourse is that it's assumed that preferences are always obvious and always static. let's use myself as an example, while my attractions and fantasies towards women have been more intense and satisfying, attraction towards men happens more often quantity-wise. basically i've been attracted to more men than women, but more intensely to those women that to the men. and i'm not even sure i'm always going to be like that, i knew was attracted to women way before i knew i was attracted to men but recently i've been having a lot of fantasies about men. i have yet to do anything sexual with either sex. how would any of you consider this, male or female preference?

No. 173344

>>173330
It can also be difficult to find other women open to relationships depending on where you live. I used to live in an ultra religious bumfuck town and nobody was really “out.” I only knew one other bi girl and two older gay guys, that was it.

Times have changed a lot, but many small towns are still the same. Even if your family is fairly accepting, there is a lot of pressure to be “normal,” ie date men.

No. 173412

>>173344
exactly. there is this misconception that all "bihets" (a word which doesn't even have a coherent definition kek) live in perfectly acepting progressive areas and have a wide range of out lb women to choose from to date but they just don't want to because they prioritize men. does this describe some bisexual women? definitely, but not all or even most of us worldwide.

No. 173506

>>173150
Do you also think lg should have their own spaces, not even bis dating them there?

No. 173515

Unpopular opinion:
I don’t care if lesbian does not want to date me because I’m bisexual. It’s her loss.

No. 173540

""""bihet"""" isn't even a thing. it's just sapphics are rare as shit, much less a sapphic you vibe with both sexually and emotionally/mentally so a bisexual woman is most likely to end up with a man. It's just a numbers thing.

No. 173546

>>173540
idk anon. Hetero-leaning bisexuals definitely exist, sometimes to the point where they wouldn't even want to date a woman.

But yeah, unless you choose to be febfem, dating in some places will force you to end up with a man. That's why lesbians in LDR's is such a meme. When I considered men, I'd just talk to dudes in my classes, but now I become mutuals with a gay girl in a different country and think "wow, we're on the same continent…….could she be The One?"

No. 173792

Have you came out? I havent to my family, my friends know but maybe they even remember because I have had boyfriends for the past years. But if things get serious with the woman I am dating, I will have to do it. Makes me slightly nervous.

No. 173797

>>173792
I told my parents I had a crush on a girl, but I didn't specify I was bisexual so they might thing I'm a lesbian? they also thought I was joking

No. 173801

>>173540
If bihets aren't real and "sapphics" are rare, why bisexual women don't date each other then? And bisexual women are not "sapphics" anymore?

No. 173802

>>173801
that doesn't make sense. even including bisexuals, there are still far more straight and bi men in the world than lesbian and bi women

No. 173841

>>173801
learn proper english before you try to argue about dykey propaganda about 'bihets' in the bisexuality thread, esl-chan

No. 173845

>>173841
DA obviously and while I don’t agree with them you’ve obviously got a chip on your shoulder about lesbians and need to drop the pathetic homophobia. I know this isn’t the first time you’ve ranted about “the evil dykes” in this thread

No. 173858

Will the homos and the hets ever stop seething about bisexuals I wonder. Brain worms.

No. 173869

I don't even care that much about (some) lesbians disliking us, they already have their own struggles to deal with and the tensions usually come from mutual misunderstandings, but I've been seeing more and more "lesbian" troons shitting on "cis bihets" and it really makes my blood boil.

No. 173872

>>173858
Every single time you try to get to the root of their issues, it comes down to personal insecurity and jealousy. It's pretty funny. Monosexuals will always be pressed and obsessed.

No. 173875

>>173801
The struggle to find a woman who is attracted to other women and is attracted to you is real.
There's so much distance between us.

Moids are disgusting and they groom girls.
Of course women end up dating more moids because of how men fucking behave.
Men actively chase women, they're upfront and they're many. With women dating women you have so much homophobia and it's just hard to find one like I said.
It's not a girl not wanting to date other girls issue.

No. 173909

>>173869
I think that is mostly funny because bisexuals are pretty much their only dating pool. Good luck trying to get that cis lesbian lmao.

>>173797
Yeah I never told my parents because I feel like they wont get bisexuality and will just label me as a lesbian if Im with a woman. At least I know my mother is okay with homosexuals, father might be dissapointed but that is his problem then.

No. 173916

>>173909
yes, but openly bisexual women also obviously like men, which to troons means bi women might like them as men, which is oh-so-invalidating. the only good wooloowoos to them are spineless bisexuals who larp as lesbians to validate their womansonas

No. 173919

>>173916
I guess it is like the androphilic troon fantasy of a 100 % straight guy who is usually not into trannies but wants them as his tradwife. Like the person they want is not who they are attracted to but who validates their identity.

No. 173921

>>173919
>the person they want is not who they are attracted to but who validates their identity.
This is actually true. They start liking straight men because to be desired by them makes them feel uwu feminine and slutty, the implications about women are seriously gross (that men's objectification of us during sex is what a woman is) but they'll admit to it. Interesting how it relates to the topic of this thread, they are like pseudo-bisexual. By watching porn they become degens who'd fuck anything so I wouldn't say they are all true bisexuals except for the ones who are kek. And then the gay ones who want straight men for the same reasons regular gay guys do

No. 173928

>>173515
I don’t understand why this is a thing. If I was interested in a lesbian and she told me she wasn’t into bi women, that would be the end of it. I’m not gonna try to convince someone to date me or call them biphobic or whatever. I can’t stand people acting entitled to another person’s attention, it’s cringey as hell.

No. 173956

>>173928
Nta but agreed. Frankly as a bi who's never been with a girl yet, I even would prefer dating another bisexual girl first out of respect for the shit lesbians go through, and so gf and I can explore together. I don't understand bisexuals who get all mad at lesbians, I mean I know it can be a knee-jerk reaction ("ah someone insulted meee, monkey brain upset") but it's true that they are a different label for a reason and deserve spaces away from moid-talk and being used by us as therapists.

No. 173963

>>173792
I'm out to 3 of my friends officially. One other probably knows because I keep posting drawings of gay women kek.
My mother refuses to accept that I'm attracted to women, as in she really said "no, you're straight" when I came out. At some point I'll try to argue with her and change her weird opinions about the gays, but for now I'm just not mentioning it again.

She's not a true homophobe/biphobe/whatever, but we're super close and her approval means a lot to me.
At any rate, I'll never date men so she'll have to accept it on some level lmao.

No. 173967

>>173956
I agree. I prefer dating other bi girls and tbh it would be a double standard if I wasn't okay with lesbians also preferring to date other lesbians. This definitely isn't a universal thing the way some anons itt make it out to be though. People need to relax and not get incely about it, nobody is entitled to date someone.

No. 174040

>>173792
Basically everyone knows.
This question made me think about the concept of ”being out” for the first time in years.
I’m 25 yo at the moment and have been very secure with my identitety as a bisexual since my teens. I have dated both men and women. People around me have been fine with it because it’s just a given fact at this point.

Actually I have been openly bisexual at my two recent workplaces too. It was mostly because I had openly gay co-workers so it was natural to me to talk about my relationships too.



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