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>>56468>i'm talking about only being attracted to biological males and females
Honest question about that, isn't everyone a biological male or female? I guess some are somewhat ambiguous (intersexed) but for the most part if you're attracted to both sexes I don't get why you wouldn't be attracted to trans people or whatever.
I never got the distinction between pan or bi for that reason, I'm not a trans apologist or anything I'm pretty much a TERF just curious.
I'm the same way, anon. I've definitely found women sexually and romantically attractive (come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I was aroused by women's bodies before men's) but my attraction to men is so much stronger I almost feel like I'd be leading people on if I said I was bi.>>56471
I think the "pan" thing comes down to genitals I guess? Like you're into dudes with dicks and chicks with vaginas. It's kind of how I feel. If I were to go home with someone like pic related who passes extremely well as a man and then I found out they had a vagina, I feel like I'd probably be put off from having sex with them. It makes me feel like an asshole tbh.
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dropped the picture, sorry
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>i'm talking about only being attracted to biological males and females
That's not bisexuality then. Pansexuality is just something tumblr invented because they think bisexuals exclude trans people, but we don't. I find it really insulting that they decided to tell us what are sexuality is? We're attracted to people regardless of gender/genitals.
That aside, I'm glad there's a thread on bisexuality because it seems a lot of anons are bisexual. I do believe we're underrepresented in the media and because of that people spread all these horrible myths about us which just aren't true.
Gif is of my favourite, very openly bisexual actresss <3
I looked up today pan vs bi and what the difference is, there's literally none, it's just a more snowflaky sounding name
The older I am the more secure I am into my sexuality. I still (very very slightly) regret not experimenting with the same sex but it's okay because I'm happy with my current partner. My parents didn't really care when I came out to them, in fact my mother, who is more on the "old fashioned" side of seeing things sounded somewhat happy to hear it lol
I just wish people would take us more serious and actually acknowledge us. A lot of people seem to think less of our opinion because we're "only half gay/straight". Same thing with the media - gay or straight. Nothing else.
A year or two ago one of my favorite companies released a game where one of the main characters is bi. It's canon, confirmed by their official blog a d on the wiki. Yet people STILL decided that the character HAS to be gay. Or straight. Still bugs the shit out of me. I want more representation for us in games, too.
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I'm bisexual. And biromantic. I hate to have to say I'm also biromantic, but people like labels, and unfortunately, somehow most bi women I know IRL are only bi if they want to fool around/have sex every once in a while/experiment with other girls. So I kinda feel that I have to explain I'm not only into girls when I want fun sex or a hook-up, but that I also get romantically involved with them. It sucks, man. I agree with the other anon who talked about myths being untrue (we're overtly sexual, it's just a phase, people grow out of it, etc), but I do feel nervous when I develop feelings for a bi girl because I think she may leave me for a dude… Because it's happened before. Same with my best friend as well (a lesbian). I hate to say this but we've become wary of some "bi" girls… It's like you get super involved and in love with them just to get dumped when a man shows up. Yeah, I know not everyone is like this and I'm definitely not like this, and maybe you're not like this either, but this is my story and what I've seen.
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I'm bisexual. I guess. I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more into women. In fact, pretty much the only guys I'm into are anime and video game characters. The last time I had a crush on a guy irl was years ago. But women are so much prettier and easier to fall in love with.
I wish it was the opposite. Getting into a straight relationship is easy, but finding other women into women is pretty much impossible here.
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I think I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm in a very happy, long-term relationship with a man but I really regret not taking it further with women. I definitely think I'm more attracted to women; they're more thoughtful, beautiful, sensual, kind…just better lovers overall. It seems that most bisexuals/asexuals/w.e lean towards dating women too.
But yeah I can't deny that I would have fallen in love with anyone regardless of gender/sex and that's how I met my current boyfriend. I love being able to look past silly things and see the beautiful soul beneath.
Lol WRONG. I'm not attracted to trans people, etc. at all (i'm not transphobic tho). I am only sexually/romantically attracted to cis people of both genders. How is that not bisexual? What's it called then? to be sexually and romantically attracted to cis men and cis women, but not transgenders, transvestites, etc.?
if people like me exist, and people like you exist, then bi vs. pan is a real thing, not something invented by tumblr.
Yes, definitely, it can happen to anyone regardless of sexual orientation, but most of the time who does that type of shit are 'bi' women. Maybe reality is just like >>56502
Many lesbians don't even want to date bi girls anymore because of this.
they were probably just experimenting, calling themselves bisexual and giving "actual" bi women a bad name (i typed actual between " because in the end who's to judge one's sexuality? I shouldn't. i'm doing it, but i know i shouldn't. still, of course i'm gonna judge someone who says they looove pussy and their current gf but dump them as soon as they get a D – more than once! it's hard to take them seriously)
just sharing two links related to the topic. they're not really serious, but if you're in a similar situation they may help:https://www.quora.com/How-common-is-it-for-lesbians-to-refuse-to-date-a-woman-only-because-she-is-bisexualhttps://consciousgirlfriend.com/help-always-fall-bi-women-leave-men/https://bifurious.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/but-youll-leave-me-for-men-or-dont-make-your-penis-envy-my-problem/
from one of said links. i couldve written this myself because its exatcly how i think, unfortunately:
Jason Gauthier, Aspiring Solicitor
Written 4 Jun 2014
I have had this discussion with one lesbian. Her view is that most bisexual girls are just straight girls with daddy issues.
This is similar to the prevalent view among straight women that most bisexual men are really gay.
If you're bisexual, (a lot of) women will always assume you're really interested in men.
Gay men, on the other hand, assume bisexual men are primarily interested in them.
Straight men, assume bisexual woman are primarily interested in them too.
This might speak to the relative states of self-confidence of each sex.
Pansexual is not just a word some random on tumblr invented for their bio. pansexual is a real thing totally apart from bisexuality that you can find in all of the official English dictionaries, like Oxford and Collins. And it exists for a reason, to differentiate between people who are attracted to men and women (bisexual) from people who are in addition attracted to non-cis gender identities, which is a whole separate thing.
Please don't spew ignorance just because you googled "pan vs bi" and probably read an unreliable source that didn't explain it properly. They are not the same thing, and they are not interchangeable. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/bisexualhttps://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/pansexualhttps://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/bisexualhttps://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/pansexual
but then isn't pansexuality itself oppressive? It's fetishizing trans people, by denying that trans people aren't male and female, like they want to be, and instead put them in their own category - or what?
Bi always just meant men or women, not "oh, I'm a male pansexual because my girlfriend has SWYER syndrome, so she's not actually cis." ??
I guess I had a stroke at the end and deleted half of my sentence at the end there.
Bi always meant men or women, not anything else to me. I don't see why someone feels the need to categorize their sexuality that much further, as to differentiate between androgynous people, intersex people, or trans people - seems dehumanizing to me, since I have an intersex condition. My husband is straight, not pan - see how silly this sentence reads? -> continue "on, I'm a male pansexual…"
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Pansexuality isn't a new concept but it's only really been brought into fashion recently. I'm not going to label myself with a fashionable sexuality. I've been calling myself bisexual for years and I'm comfortable with it, I don't need to change because some trans people on tumblr are screaming to change the definition of my sexuality.
Traditionally, the word "bisexual" has been used for what people are describing above. Promoting the idea of "pansexuality" is disrespectful towards bisexuals imo as it assumes that NO bisexuals are attracted to trans people (while in my experience talking to other bisexuals, is not true). If you're not, you could state that you're trans-exclusive if it's that big of a deal to you, but even that doesn't make sense to me. If you're attracted to men and women, their genitals and appearance matching shouldn't be an issue because it's implied you like BOTH.
I think all these tumblr trans trenders are annoying but it's silly to assume you're not attracted to any of them based on your experience of tumblrinas. I know plenty of normal trans people irl who are lovely and I've definitely crushed on some of them. It's different when you know someone in real life and you're familiar with their personality.
At the end of the day, I don't like people telling bisexuals what exactly their sexuality is (when it's theirs to define for themselves) and forcing another label upon them. There are enough myths about us and we get enough hate from both straight and LGBT circles so let's not force this silly "pansexual" thing.
I'm bi but basically a virgin with girls. Not that I had many male partners so the math adds up, as about 3% of the female population is gay.
I feel bad for calling myself bi when all I did was slightly fool around but never had proper sex or a relationship with a girl. Still I like girls in a different way than men but it just seems so hard to get in a relationship with one (it's already hard as it is with men and it's way easier to tell when one is interested, or potentially interested).
I went about 3 years with no sex/no relationship after my first breakup and I'm not even considered ugly so Idk what to do, or how to do it. I tried online dating, I tried hanging out in gay bars. I just look at women in the streets and wish they were as much gay women as straight ones bc holy hell it's HARD.>>56544
FTM are really shit out of luck for now, I hope we find a way to make real or cyborg dicks in the future :( Though I'd be down to date a ftm if they still had their vagina
I'm not sure if I got this right since English isn't my first language and I suck at making structured sentences but here it goes.
The reason people feel "discriminated" against is because they don't want people to think they're straight, because they're not. There probably are idiots who want to play "victim" but others don't want to be reduced to being "just straight" or to be told their opinions don't matter in the community simply because they're in a het relationship. Bisexuals who are in hetero relationships aren't straight. Sure, they don't get the same shit as gay people, obviously, but you can't really deny the fact that they're not straight.
(I feel like I just wrote the same sentence 3 times fml)
I'm bi and this is exactly how I feel.
The problem isn't that I feel discriminated against because people don't know I also like pussy, it's that gay people treat me completely straight. I get that my experiences are different to that of a gay person, but they're not straight experiences either. They don't go away just because I'm dating a guy.
I don't want any special treatment, I just want it to be acknowledged that I'm not straight, but it feels like bi people are seen more as allies than members of the lgbt+ menagerie
Yeah, I don't think you understand. From my personal experience, I've been left out of LGBT meet-ups, nights out, groups because the LGT people I know don't believe in bisexuality (like straight up just don't believe it's real). I've had lesbians tell me that they could never date me because I've been with a man before. My LGT friends will constantly refer to me as "straight" despite me correcting them every single time and when they make jokes/gossip about straight people, then look in my direction like I'm supposed to react negatively. They'll purposefully bring up a topic related to LGBT issues, turn to me and say "Sorry, we'll wait until you're gone". The friends of someone I was dating asked her to break up with me because I was "going to leave her for a man" one day. When I was going out with women, I was essentially praised by my LGT friends "omg so proud of youuu~!" but the moment I started dating a man they instantly reverted back to calling me "straight". My mother told me that I was not welcome in our house anymore if I turned out to be a lesbian but despite that, straight people have actually been kinder and more respectful towards me than the community I'm supposedly a part of.
It's a little more than "boo hoo why won't people recognize my sexuality!" It's about feeling isolated and repeatedly having people disrespect you. It's about people in the LGBT community blatantly spreading lies about us (which are the same lies homophobes spread about gay people, ironically "They can choose their sexuality!" "It's just a phase!" "They're dirty!" "They're faking it for attention!" I guess the bullied can't help but become bullies themselves :)) Can't imagine what these people said behind my back if this is the kind of stuff they said to my face.
The fact is that bisexuals get hate from both sides because straight people think we're gay and gay people think we're straight. For some reason, there are people who can't imagine that someone can be both. We don't feel welcome anywhere.
I like the way you think, anon. I've never had a same-sex relationship and I've never bothered telling my partners I'm bi because it would create an overhead at times. It was not denial tho, if people would ask me, I would tell them what I am right away!
The relationships never quite look like an average straight one and I never managed to keep one for as long as a few months. Maybe that's one of the reasons heheh
Which is probably where the "bi girls go straight", that anon mentioned comes from.
Not to mention the gays who don't want to date us becase we're bi, so
I feel like it's >>56620
and just the ease of hitting traditional milestones with a hetero relationship that make them more likely in the end. Things might change now that it's easier for gay couples to get married and have kids etc, but I always saw myself ending with a man just because then it's easier to do those traditional things that people feel they need to do when they get older(and then an old lesbian after my kids grow up and I divorde kek)
This is bitchy, but I also haven't met a girl which I would trust to trust me to spend forever with, because of the 'bi girls always go straight' cliche there are always going to be trust issues in a ff relationship. But a man will just see it as normal and expected that you will stay
This is exactly how it feels like.
It really sucks that the same people who scream "homophobia!" at the minimal chance then do this kind of shit (when they supposedly know how it feels like).
The worst part is that you can't call them out on this or you are bigot. Fuck I can't stand the LGT community's bullshit. There are some lesbians who are really cool people but most of the ones I met have a visceral hatred against bi/het women and I personally can't stand them anymore. I don't trust them.
I mean, you can call them out. But they'll start screeching and play the victim card
I only recently started to get involved in the community and some people are really sweet but damn the amount of people thinking we're "liars" or just heteros trying to be special is pretty big
me too anon. i don't want to have to explain pansexuality to normies so bi is easier even though i could go for anyone tbh. your sexuality isn't 'fake' because you haven't been with a lot of same-sex partners (not sure if guy or girl) - my only sexual experience with girls thus far has been very abusive yet i still know that i'm attracted to them.
it's a double-edged sword - you sleep with people of both sexes, you fit thhe typical bi slut stereotype. you don't, well, you're not a legit bisexual then and you won't be until you do. try to ignore everyone else because you know what/who you like and nobody can tell you otherwise.
personally i seem to be more attracted to the idea of femininity - girls, feminine guys, cute guys, even drag queens. super macho burly men have never been my type.
are you me? i'm attracted to feminine or androgynous people too. no offense to butch ladies (some of them are legit gorgeous) but big burly manly men are just sort of… meh to me? like, if they're nice, sure, but it's never a preference or a plus.
i agree with you on other counts too. we do we.
Same thing here anon.
I'm bi (well pan, but say be for the same reason as you) and I've been with my bf for 6 years now. Every time sexuality comes up people roll their eyes or don't believe me because I've never been with a girl.
Sucks, but you know better what you like than others. You do you.
Same with a boyfriend of 3 years, but people always believe my sexuality because I look like a butch stereotype lol.
That being said, pansexuality is stupid. It implies bisexual people are emotionless sluts who don't value being nice/interesting. Obviously anyone looking for a partner wants someone with good qualities. The only difference between a straight person and you is which genders are eligible.
Pan also has a bad rap for a reason…tons of liberal straight girls use it to seem "accepting". Identifying as pan also takes away the sex side of sexuality - making it about your big heart or whatever, so of course women will jump on that, since they're constantly shamed for anything indicating they're sluts/enjoy sex.
I'm the same as you two. This leads to me getting attracted to and catching feelings for gay men (mostly twinks), though, which will never not be soul crushing. It's just my luck that I'm always interested in gay men or straight girls.>>60695
I don't understand the need to have an entirely different word. The chances I'm going to meet let alone date a trans or intersex person are very small. That leaves me with cis men and women, the same as 99% of bi/pan people. No matter the case the person I'm with is going to identify as a man or a woman, so what's the point in clarifying "Yeah I'd fuck/date a trans person if I had the chance". What? It's just a stupid game of semantics and pedantics. Not to derail the thread or anything but if there's an actually good reason for the pansexual label I'd like to know it.
A bisexual is attracted to cisgendered men and women. Pansexuals are attracted to every type of body, whether it be a cisgendered person, a transperson's body (Which can be inbetween transitions, and a transitioned body sexually isn't 100% the same, at least for FTMs it's not, mtf vaginas i can't tell the difference with).
Plus it also adds intersexed persons (hermaphrodites), and possibly people with sexual deformities (like the chick with two vaginas).
I'm bisexual and I am not attracted to transpersons.
For me this is mostly about the baggage though. Every trans person I have befriended or gotten into any form of relationship with has been hell to deal with. I mean, it's logical they're going to have a little more baggage in terms of self worth and appearance than your average person. That's a given.
But my worst experience kinda shows what I mean. This was a transgirl. I met her online just looking for friends but I guess despite being trans, the man side of her that said "Friends means we can FUCK" was kicking in because day one she was trying to get me into more shit.
I was going through a lot of depression at the time and was dressing down a lot. Not really wearing anything to make me stand out (So a t-shirt and jeans most of the time with a hoodie) and my hair was cut short so i didn't have to deal with it.
So maybe she thought I was masculine and shit or maybe she was projecting her sexual desires onto me.
But she insisted I get on top when we were dry humping and treat her like the girl (i.e. hump against her ass like I had a dick).
I obliged at first (dear god being the guy sucks if you're not fit or can't autopilot like guys do) but it quickly got more and more out of hand.
She'd keep putting me down a lot and would always come back with "GURL I"M A HONEYBADGER YOU CAN'T BRING ME DOWN" when all i asked her was to stop asking me to be a guy.
As someone who was struggling with self esteem issues in a different way (i.e. being a cisgendered girl who felt masculine and ugly) it was really difficult, and her utter unwillingness to understand how I felt because she experiences more difficulties being herself and "doesn't give a shit" about it just crushed me.
Aside from her I have only had one good experience even being friends with a transgendered person (I'm sorry but too many FTMs are either fake, or still act like fakeassbitches despite wanting to be masculine).
The last reason is that I have trouble seeing some transgendered people as the gender they want to be. For example, I had a massive crush on a transmale (the one good one as said above) but I never pursued it because I realized I didn't see him as a him, I saw him as a boyish girl (and god do i love boyish girls) and i thought that was too disrespectful to be able to pursue a relationship..and that's usually what it is in the end for me. I get attracted to a transperson for what they are physically rather than the gender they feel they are, and would lose attraction to them if they changed.
Add the fact that most FTM trannies at least are just too ugly to be considered girls and are all glued to tumblr and I just can't do it, I'm too shallow.
So that's why I find a difference between the terms.
there are a lot of people who don't want to be with someone who's had HRT or surgery, or even not being able to enjoy their partner's body how it currently is (may trans people don't really want to be treated as their biological sex during intercourse). that's why the need for the word.
i personally have a huge problem with body modification of any kind, so i wouldn't be able to be with someone who was post op or post HRT trans. pansexuals are accepting of those kinds of things.
pansexuals are not better or worse than bi people, like tumblr would have you believe it's just another sexuality. like any other sexuality, it's important in certain situations, such as dating sites, to let someone else know whether you're interested in them or not. in my case i want people to know i am uncomfortable physically with trans people.
the stigma around being bi comes from porn and pop culture. a lot of men are attracted to multiple women being together, and with them, so the portayal of bi people in the media is really centered around sex. couple that with experimentation and then it gets worse. similar stigmas exist for lesbians and gays but i think being bi is more accessible. the idea that you'd want to have sex with a guy and also a girl is arousing to alot of people, which sucks, but not everyone feels that way, and working towards normalizing different sexuality in the media will correct this problem eventually.
the real problem is with tumblr and the stigma around non-pansexuals. when i was on dating sites i would often get harassing or threatening messages from tumblr-types about being transphobic and it's really unfair. those people try to dictate other people's sexuality and at the same time claim to be more accepting. i even have trouble with my current boyfriend's circumcision because i am uncomfortable wth genital modification, for someone to tell me to be okay with something even more extreme is terrible. i don't understand why people act that way.
this is ridiculous, call yourself pan, that's what you are. labels are there so other people can understand you, not so you can define them yourself. bi means two and pan means all, that's why the terms aren't the same. trans people aren't really their biological gender, and they're at risk for violence if the person is really transphobic, and shock! bi people can be transphobic. in any case i think you missed alot of the real argument here is that people are butthurt by tumblrtards saying that being bi is wrong somehow, which like >>60782
said, it's not. they also explained that they can't physically deal with post-op trans bodies, which isn't at all what you said.
you sound like part of the problem, bi and pan have their place.
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not to sound like a total fucking shut-in, but is anyone else only attracted to 2d men and real women? i've posted in the husbando thread a few times, but when it comes to real men, i couldn't be more repulsed. idk if this means i'm actually bisexual or not.
definitely into to other women, though.
very relatable but the big difference is i started identifying as a lesbian because of this. my girlfriend is also the same, we talk about how cute some 2D guys are but then when it comes to irl men unless theyre really fucking super hot we're disinterested, ive met a few other lesbos who feel this way too
also before anyone gets triggered
for a lesbian posting here i was reading through this thread to try and be a better ally and just thought i'd chime in since more perspective is better sometimes
I'm the opposite, but can relate to you anon.
I find 2d and 3d men hot, although I'm not that interested in sex, so judge men primarily on personality + money.
With 2d girls though, lol, I can definitely form crushes. 3D doesn't work for me though.
I think it's because it's the whole "perfect fictitious man" thing. Like you know how the character acts and when there isn't anything canonically you can fill in the gaps with your own fantasies and theoretically you can't be wrong because it's not a real character.
Whereas 3d men are complete wildcards. You don't know what they're thinking or what they can do, and so many men are so scummy that you think they aren't worth it.
3d women on the other hand are less of a mystery. You (to some level) know and can relate to other women so they are comfy and nice, so you can actually see yourself befriending and maybe even dating one.
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Definitely know what you mean. In my case, I think it might have a lot to do with what >>60892
I'm in a long term relationship with a guy that's not going that great, and I think that has made my attraction to women and 2D men even worse. I find myself accidentally comparing him to fictitious guys and wishing I could be with a woman instead.
I can't give anything helpful, but I can warn away from tinder in trying to meet other women. when i was set to male and female, just so many guys being like " so you fuck girls haha ;)" and girls wouldn't speak to me. When I was set to just women, they still wouldn't speak to me. good luck, anon!
both myself and my boyfriend are bi, and while I've been with girls he's never been with a man. He sometimes acts like a bit of a muscle twink in bed and wants me to peg him. I've never had my validity questioned but I've never tried to involve myself heavily in the LGBT scene locally because I never had much issue coming to terms with my own sexuality and now, I know I'd be excluded for being " straight-passing"
Think we'll go to pride next year tho with my gay aunty and her wife, after they get married
Is it just me thinking it's really hard to meet girls when you're bi and kinda outgoing already ? I'm ashamed because I literally never had sex with a woman, or had a serious relationship with one so I feel like my validity as a bi is null.
I tried dating apps, putting my sexuality as bi and messaging a ton of girls on okcupid (the amount of unicorn hunters, fake profiles and "sapiosexual-demisexual" is astounding), tried gay only dating apps etc …
Girls are either sjws with that dumb miniature bangs haircut and grandma glasses tumblr look, angsty as fuck or simply flaky. Or trans, cool…
And in the meantime I continue to go out and get hit on by really cool decent men, with a stable life and handsome at that.
I really want to try dating girls but it's such a fucking hurdle. The amount of girls who are bi or lesbian in the area is already fucking low but you have to take out the uglies, the couples, the polyamouros and the anxiety riddled ones.
>>61930>they're not trying to date them just for the hell of it.
Anon literally said "I feel like my validity as a bi is null" because she has no experience with women,
and went on to follow it with "I really want to try
dating girls" but she can't because apparently ~all girls suck~ (uglies, couples, polyamouros and anxiety riddled) whereas ~all boys who hit on her are "cool decent men"~
Bi women like this give all bi women bad reputation.
Hey-yo, I feel u bro.
The dating pool for lesbians is so small in most communities that they're rightfully shitty about bi women lovin' and leavin' em for men which happens more often than you think.
It is hard for bi women though, most of my friends are lesbians and they're always defending me from other lesbians who delightfully call me a cock-sucker at clubs lmao. My friends know me though, they know I'm not just a college girl looking to experiment and then go "this is hard, my parents cut me off so I'm gonna get a boyfriend instead, bye" because I've been part of the community for so long.
I've talked to them about this before though, that if you attack every fresh-faced young girl experimenting with her sexuality then that pool's going to get even smaller. I have a friend who turned out to be a lesbian that almost got MARRIED to a guy because she was told so often that she was faking it. Luckily she met a lovely gay woman and they're really happy together.
Idk, I'm on the lesbians' side because of all the bull they have to put up with but the sad baby bi inside me just wants to beg everyone to stop chasing kids off.
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Is anyone here resigned to the fact that you'll probably never be with a girl? my taste in girls fits in with what you call a "lipstick lesbian", a feminine girly girl who likes other feminine girly girls. This is weirdly very rare?? like two chicks with dresses and makeup and high heels and everything. you see it a lot in porn, but not irl. In fact the ONLY example I've ever seen is petitepasserine and nicholael. I envy that SO MUCH. But I'm already in my 20's and my desire to have a baby with a guy is much stronger than my desire to be in an intimate relationship with a girl like this. I don't plan to be a mom who has a relationship on the side unless it's bio dad either. I just don't like the thought of step-parents/mommy's boyfriend/girlfriend. So me being bisexual will probably go to waste.
Thanks, I totally understand that bi suspicion. It sucks and I don't blame lesbians for it, they already face enough and I get how hard it is to find someone when your dating pool is restricted. If a girl told me she wouldn't date me because I sucked cock before I'd be hurt but to me it's kind of rejecting someone because they slept with too many people, that's their own choice. >>61931
I never said I never had any experience with women. Unfortunately the only gay girls I found so far were pretty far up their own asses so it never went all the way to bed or after a few dates. Or I'm the unluckiest bastard on earth because I end up with butch girls who want to be the typical Chad and screw as many girls as possible. Not that I haven't been offered a gay threesome but it's not my thang.
> ~all girls suck~ (uglies, couples, polyamouros and anxiety riddled) whereas ~all boys who hit on her are "cool decent men"~
Nah son, how about I'm decently attractive, funny and am confident enough to socialize with people easily ? I worked a lot on that and my friend's group is relatively big.
I'm just saying, ~my~ own problem is that I want to date girls but girls my taste don't show up as often as guys my taste, what's so hard to get about it ? I'm attracted to girls but when a dude with a stable situation, funny, respectful and handsome shows up I don't exactly want to put him in the "wait til I try and find the girl version of you"-zone.>>61947
Thanks, I don't mind being told snobby or dickish for having standards, but you got the point though. I was probably a bit harsh and venting but it's not like I didn't set up several dating profiles, some on girls only websites, went on dates and navigate through the fakes, the hunters and the flakes. If I merely tried to have a college experience I wouldn't go through that for years.
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My one weakness are career women/confident professionals who look in charge but still feminine.
My portfolio management lecturer almost fits the bill but she's a bit too Ellen DeGeneres for my taste. One time I saw the most gorgeous banker at my college's career fair and she was so pretty and kind I couldn't stop thinking about her for months.
I wish I had an older female mentor gf, but older women never seem to be into those kinds of relationships, not even professionally. They always see younger females/female professionals as competition (or so I've been told), which is sad because I just… don't. I always respect and revere them. And want to suck on their tits while they pet my head. No homo.
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Same situation with me. But I prefer girls so much more than guys. I'll probably be alone, I guess, unless I move to a big city like NYC where there's probably more girly girls.
me, im v feminine/girly/smol but only less fem girls coo over me
meanwhile I get so flushed when i interact w/ another smol cute girl and fantasize
In Tinder you can't see the other person's sexuality, it only shows photos and bio. It's weird that guys told you that, are you sure it wasn't another site?
In Tinder I always find some beautiful girls tbf, it's the best dating app at least in my area (the other one is Wapa but it's full of fake profiles, butch girls and crazies - not my cup of tea). The only thing is that only few of them actually reply. A lot of them only press like, match, but don't talk back. It's weird
My status has always confused me, in the sense that I fancied girls way earlier than I fancied boys and I find way more women attractive than I do men, but I've slept with/dated more men? Idk it might just be that the dating pool is a lot smaller for various reasons, as other farmers have mentioned, so I've ended up with more guys because more options.
As for bisexuality/pansexuality being the same thing, I don't really think it is. I wouldn't date a trans person, not because I don't like both sexes, but because I wouldn't want to deal with the personality that goes with it. I don't really believe in "transgender" unless it follows onto being actually transsexual, which it doesn't seem to that often! I cba with gender politicians, it's just not for me. I respect other people's identities, but it doesn't mean I want to date/sleep with them. I wouldn't date a religious person either, for this reason. Also, if I'm dating someone who looks like a trad bio male, I most likely want a dick when I get down there, so…
tldr; I think having separate names for people who would happily date trans people is helpful for those in the dating pool. Stops potentially upsetting conversations, at least!
Someone's body or dress preference may not be the basis of a long-lasting attraction, but I believe it's at least a reasonable part of many people's initial attraction to someone. You don't need to talk down to people who's attraction doesn't work the same way as yours, you're not the dating council.
Maybe some people just want to be differentiated because it's easier for them? It's not necessarily about questioning people's sexuality, just about navigating the situations where knowing someone's sexual preference is important. If a trans person could know from one polite descriptive word that they had a chance (or not), would that not be a good thing?
You just sound like an angry control freak. Yes, I'm sure if people on here met a trans person that changed their mind, they'd go for it. People on here don't like bisexuals because they're engaging in a discussion on a fucking messageboard about bisexual identity? Sure. Like, chill out, don't take it so personally.
Sage for non-contribution!
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Okay, question and I'd like farmers opinions on it:
I've been attracted to girls since my teens. My first time having sex was with one. One of the people I've loved the most, and really left me heartbroken was also a girl.
So yeah, i don't like labels, but if I really need one I guess I've always been bisexual and biromantic.
I got the Kinsey test for fun (because lots of people say it's biased) and I got a perfect 50/50.
But anyway, the older I get, the less interested I am in women. I've always thought I really didn't care about one's private parts: if I love you or/and if I am attracted to you, that's it and fuck it if you have a penis or a vagina. And sometimes my interest in people would vary according to the person I was seeing: I'd barely even notice women around if I was fancying a guy, and vice versa. But those "I'm so gay/straight" days never lasted much and I'd go back to my normal of being attracted to both men and women shortly after.
Why am I talking so much, ugh…
But yeah, I feel like my love and sexual desire for girls has really died. I hate thinking this because I don't want to think it was just a long lasting phase, but maybe… it was? I am 24 now.
I can't see myself with a girl anymore because I don't feel interested in them. Or attracted to them. At all. Trust me, I've tried meeting new girls and it just seems meh and like I'm forcing myself to do something I don't really want to do just to prove myself wrong. I don't really watch much porn, but when I do it's lesbian – still it feels like I do it out of habit, and because most PIV porn seems to hurt as fuck.
Can my interest in women only pop up in me again in many years down the road if I meet the right lady?
If it was really a long phase, then how do I know it was (or not) one?
I know all of this seems like an unimportant thing, and that time will tell, but it's been bothering me so fucking much because I was really comfortable knowing who I was, and with the idea of knowing what I wanted… but now I feel like I don't know anything about myself and need to revaluate everything again.
Tl;dr not sure if I just had a really long bi phase or not, and i want to know if not liking/being attracted to women anymore is normal and comes in sparse cycles.
I went/am going through something similar. My first relationship was with a girl, my first time having sex was with her, I consider her probably my "purest" love, etc.
As it stands, I'm not really sure of my sexuality. I find myself sort of turned off from dating or having sex with women, but I'm also in a relationship right now with a man. I don't find much of anyone else sexually attractive, men OR women. I still get the occasional girl crush, but my attraction to them is mostly from a distance or objective.
But when I think of my ex-gf, I miss that sort of relationship. And girls are nice.
how is it ironic? lesbians are a far smaller piece of female population than bi women and they still find dates and settle down in that tiny community just fine.
we on the other hand are pretty common and I question any bi woman who feels the need to ignore all of us and insist on chasing after lesbians as if they owe us something.
it's like when straight women with commitment issues chase after unavailable men to make sure the relationship will fail in advance.
What you are feeling is perfectly normal for a bisexual woman, we are all fluid to various degrees. Our attraction to different sexes comes and goes with time and mood and sometimes I could swear I am asexual (and other times I'm like a nympho). In fact I thought I was asexual for the longest time because as a kid I was surrounded by straight girlfriends who kept having crushes on classmates and famous actors/pop stars and shit and I had to make up names and lie about having a crush all throughout the primary and middle school to fit in and seem "normal".
And then in hs I fell for a female teacher (lol) and a guy at the same time. Then for 8 years I was only into women and now into mid-twenties I am noticing men again. I used to be so sure I would settle down with a wife and now I am questioning myself and watching kids in parks and imagining having a traditional family. Both my first kiss and sex was with girls.
You are not a lesbian because lesbians do not posses the ability to be sexually attracted to the male sex ever, not as a phase, not as an experiment, not ever.
fucking this, I was excited to see a bi thread since I don't come across much of bi talk and >it's all fucking pan and trans discourse
holy fuck I hate you people
Lol this is hilarious because I pretty much fit that bill but I'm in a long term relationship (with a man). I fell in love with three women before him, sadly wound up with a broken heart after each relationship. He and I just happened to click in the right way and stayed together. I am definitely more gay than straight and typically can't even stand men. However I really miss being intimate with a woman and have been fantasizing about it a lot lately. (I was tempted to try a threesome with my current relationship a few times but I chickened out each time and fuck do I regret it. But I am still lowkey wondering if I should tell him how much I miss being with a woman and see if we can come up with a solution.)
Anyway, I'm a career woman in the medical field. Always go for a business casual and feminine look but I am attracted to both masculine and feminine women. I've always been a bit naive and emotionally stunted when interacting with people so I also had that fantasy when I was younger to have an older female mentor girlfriend as well, mostly because I was so inexperienced with people and life. I am a weird mix, I am pretty submissive about some things but dominant about others and when I was younger I wanted someone who could put me in my place and guide me.
Now that I'm in my late twenties and have been through enough shit to have some sense of this world, I oddly do not mind the idea of a younger girlfriend so long as she is decently forward and dominant in her own way. I used to think it was strange for a younger partner to be more dominant than someone older, but here I am oddly completely enthralled with the idea of someone younger (but not drastically ofc) going after me and being too naive and impulsive to be rational while doing as she pleases with me. (Even though I'm not that old in comparison, I feel like I sound like a seedy old fuck when I say that though, ugh.) But if I was with someone like that, I would also love to spoil her, buy her some nice things from time to time, take her to nice restaurants, etc. especially if she is still working on her career or finishing college. I never had that when I was younger and would love to share those kinds of experiences with her if she wanted.
Sorry, that probably sounds all kinds of wrong, but I guess what I am trying to say is there are some out there who fit what you are looking for. It's just hard to be obvious about it, since there are so many repercussions for not only being a lesbian but also being okay with dating someone younger.
Anyway, don't give up hope anon. I am sure you fill find someone older who is into that kind of relationship. Sage for blogging and pointless daydreaming.
I put interested in guys and girls is my bio intially, then removed it when it was clear that it was a hindrance. Still nothing.
Guess my area just wasn't particularly gay unfortunately
I am attracted to girls but only sexually, I blame the fact that I watched so much porn growing up and generally the softer stuff (that I started with) is always lesbian. So it probably rewired my brain. I masturbate pretty much solely to lesbian porn too. But I don't think I would ever want to be with a girl irl, especially not in a relationship. I have been tempted to try tinder and look for a femme girl who just wants to come over so we can eat each other out, but I don't really have the balls to do such a thing. I remember a few vague lesbian experiences when I was much younger, with my friend (including scissoring with her lol but we were just curious kek).
I don't really feel attracted to girls irl (but get a lil moist around really high maintenance, snobby, bitchy girls - I think I'm attracted to ultra femme girls only). I guess I kind of want to get dommed by a hot girl. I saw some porn where a girl gets punished, humiliated and pissed on by her female classmates, and now it's one of my biggest fantasies. The idea of getting hazed and being a sex slave for dominant girls gets me off too.
Irl however I have only ever wanted to be in relationships with men. I am only capable of loving cis males. I am only capable of romantic feelings towards men. Sex with a guy I really love is the best, but I think sexually, I will always have a longing for pussy. However, I plan to exclusively have relationships with men only. But that lesbian fantasy isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I've heard that this kind of sexuality in females is very common. Luckily I can separate love and sex very easily. If my lesbian fantasy doesn't happen, I won't care too much. I'm quite happy with just getting dick.
Hey I'm in almost the exact same boat as you, but my fantasy switches between being dommed by a thicc milf or domming a shy gal.
I actually fingered/ate out a girl and she did to me once because of those kinds of feelings and to be honest I fucking hated it lol. Flirting with her was really fun and I got really turned on but once it got down to it my puss dried the fuck up. Though, it did cool down the lesbo shit in me a lot and now I don't feel weird or gross watching some kinds of het porn.
Sexuality is a bizarre thing.
I'm the same way and I also kinda blame porn, I always watched lesbian orgies and hazing/sorority porn growing up. I kind of wish I was romantically attracted to girls – I can see
the appeal, but I don't feel
No it isn't. There's never been a documented case in history of H.I.V. transmitting from oral sex with a woman.http://www.sfcityclinic.org/drk/womenshealth4.asp
There hasn't even been a documented case of S.T.I. transmission of any kind from oral sex with women unless the woman receiving oral was mensturating or having an outbreak, both of which are obvious.https://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2012/11/28/q-a-november-2012/
And what kind of idiot shares a dildo during sex? Just bring one for each of you if it's that important, and make sure they're different colors so they're immediately visually distinctive.
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Pretty much have come to terms that I'm bisexual, yet when it comes to men I can only imagine myself with my 2-D fictional husbandos. The thought of being with a man irl isn't all that appealing.
Also pretty similar to >>61950
, I'm only attracted to girly girls. Unfortunately all the bi girls/lesbians in my area are SJW types, some to an extreme, and its just…so discouraging.
>Maybe the whole 'bi girls go straight eventually' thing
That's pretty much dude availability though. Guys are hornier, more forward for a variety of social reasons, and there's a lot more of them.
It's sort of flipped around for gay guys. But (not trying to be homophobic here) I've heard one of the culprits for HIV in gay men is that they just sleep around a lot more (the other being the mechanics of anal sex).
So bisexual men have a thing where there are many "hard to get" women, and a few "easy" guys.
Bisexual women have a thing where there are few "hard" women, and many "easy" guys. So many easy guys. Everywhere. So it's not surprising at all that most bisexual women go straight; it's literally 100x more probable.
yeah. i too had a sexuality identical to what june claims and a bunch of other anons relate to wrt only attracted to women but not romantic and only vice versa for men.
but what a damn coincidence that there's so little easily accessible media that 1) portrays lesbian romantic relationships 2) puts men in the sexual object role and women in the sexual subject role in a genuine, non-fetishy way
if you don't have inspirational media and your imagination doesn't come up with these things, what's left is irl experience, and many of us only have experience with men because as another anon said, it's just way easier to come by.
my point is i think "genuine" 50/50 sexual and romantic bisexuality might be more apparent for a lot of us if what resonated with us wasn't so biased towards sexualizing women and romanticizing men. i know that i used to think i wasn't sexually attracted to men until i found guys who were my type and into putting themselves in "the female gaze" if i may. i guess i've always been mainly into being the sexual subject. it seems actually pretty rare for straight guys, at least to the point that the few who do it aren't usually my physical type.
sorry if that was a bit incoherent the june thread just awakened feels in me that i thought i had moved on from
True, but there can be other more social factors that influence that. You could be bi and not see yourself in a relationship with women because you haven't jived romantically with women you've met, have some issues with other women you haven't dealt with, or just been taught to expect a relationship with a man.
Then there's the people who will go "You think you want to date women but you need to experiment to find out", like that one girl in the thread.
I'm kinda interested in what you say about sexual subject/sexual object stuff. My experience has been a bit different.
I know when I was a kid/teen I tried so hard to "figure out" how to see guys sexually the way I saw women. and looked at pictures of different guys to see if I could find any I could view as the sexual object. I never did figure it out, gave up, assumed I was just gay. With women I wanted to be the sexual subject more than the sexual object and tbh couldn't really see myself in the position of "sexual object".
I met a guy, we became close friends, and ended up dating. I still can't see him like a sexual object, I can't relate to girls that talk about certain features a guy has they love. I like to look at his face but for his body all I can say is "well there's nothing wrong with it", it'd be the same for any guy really. I think the reason I'm able to enjoy sex with him is because I realized how to put myself in the position of sexual object and realize I could also enjoy that. With women I'd lead towards being the "subject" but could also be the "object", with men I could only be the "object". I'm not sure if it was a good or a bad thing. Sorry if this is also incoherent, I just feel a bit confused about myself.
Same exact experience here. Even if it's well-intended, some of this stuff about being an objectifying misogynist is harmful to women who are attracted to women. I think the whole idea of being a sexual subject or object is different from person to person, and not everyone who is bi will experience their attraction in the same way. Also one isn't inherently better or worse than the other, the harm comes from the overall patterns in society that tend to put women in the object position, which bleeds over to other things.
As for whether that attraction is influenced by media, it doesn't change the fact that that attraction still exists, and I doubt someone straight could be conditioned to have an attraction to the same sex if regular conversion therapy doesn't even work.
I was a teen in the 90s and i remember when bisexuality was huge in movies/shows with women x women. It was only used mainly as a form to pleasure men though. It's sad, but there are still a ton of pathetic women out there (like June) who only makeout with women when they're drunk and with men around. Why do you think so many threesomes are women x women x men?
We're still living in a society where bisexual women are held to a high standard, but only if both women are ultra femme. It's a huge form of sexism. Media is a huge influence on straight girls, esp basic bitches who want attention.
(Hope this is still on topic.)
I don't believe "romantic orientation" is a thing. I don't think there's something that's set inside you that decides who you develop feelings for or not. If you have sexual attraction towards an entire gender but don't want to date them, I think that's just something about your personality that developed that way and doesn't really need any kind of label. Considering you can develop feelings for all kinds of people you never would have "seen yourself" wanting to be with just by imagining it, it seems pretty pointless.
I'd be happy to hear why you think it is though, maybe I'm just not getting something.
Sexual attraction is a really instinctual kind of thing. What a man or a woman is, physically, is defined very strictly, and your brain responds to different stimulus with arousal or lack thereof.
"Love" is very much a complicated higher brain emotion. Discounting asexual people here, you'd normally fall in love with people of the sex you're sexually attracted to, so that you'll y'know, be having sex with them. So something seems off to me with the idea of "I can't see myself dating anyone of this gender". If the body parts aren't a problem, what defines a woman or man, in a relationship sense? That's just personality right? And obviously not everyone in the same sex has the same personality. So if you're saying you don't see yourself dating women, isn't that just saying you don't feel like you click romantically with the kind of people most women are? To me it seems like making "I like shy guys" or "I don't like shy guys", into a sexual identity.
You don't find a lot of people saying they're any kind of exclusionary -romantic sexuality other than bisexual heteroromantic either. To me that's either bisexual girls who can't see themselves dating girls since they've been socialized to expect that they'd only ever be with guys, or straight girls that got confused somewhere.
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>hear people say this bullshit all the time
>"tehehe le bi gf is better because you can stare at girls together"
"Bisexual" doesn't mean "cuck". When will they learn
Exactly, no self respecting bi person does this shit
it just screams "I want attention">>77433
I mean sure, but yeah ogling people in public is super gross and I have no idea how people would find that attractive.
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I used to be very similar but I honestly developed a taste for them as well as PIV sex. It's like my attraction to men and women developed at different rates which was really confusing growing up. I felt romantically and somewhat aesthetically attracted to men but never wanted to do anything sexual with them, but with women the sexual attraction was early and strong. I think the change was a big combination of things. I always figured I was gay and in denial and that scared me, so I didn't explore or push my attraction to men for fear that I'd realize I didn't like them at all, when it actually ended up being the opposite. That probably sounds fucking crazy but maybe some bi farmers know what I mean. So after treating vaginismus, realizing I have a "type" for men, accepting my sexuality no matter what it turned out to be, getting over fear of men and fear of being gay, and being less ashamed of my sexuality, I ended up becoming very physically sexually attracted to men and enjoy fucking them, which honestly wasn't the outcome I was expecting at all. I was really ready to face being gay with ~compulsory hetereosexuality~ but it turned out I really do like dudes but that part of my sexuality had been suffocated with fear and doubt.
I have the opposite problem. I love dicks, but I find women a lot more sexually appealing to me than men. I'm romantically attracted to both genders, but as for sex I prefer women a lot more. And I have no problem with vaginas and I love them as well, but I can't help but lament the lack of a penis. Guess that's why I'm so into futa.>>77432
I hate this bullshit so much. Just because you're hypersexual and could find a fucking phone booth sexy doesn't mean you're bi. This is exactly why people are so prejudiced against bisexuals, straight girls playing bi took over the whole term because they thought a supermodel is hot.
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men are good for fucking and just overly disappointing beings, women on the other side are wonderful and even tho I hate the idea of marriage and monogamy, from time to time I imagine myself married with a woman and having kids, cooking with her, supporting her and becoming better versions of ourselves together, brushing her hair, putting lipstick on her and kissing her and ofc amazing sex :(
I grew up in a very religious house hold, so naturally I was primed to feel ashamed about normal sexual desires. This is especially true when it came to anything gay/lesbian.
I eventually grew up and rejected my parent's religious beliefs, but by then the damage had been done, and it was impossible to simply unlearn every negative thing I was taught over night. Over the years I have learned to not feel so ashamed when it comes to having sexual desires, but sometimes I think that I am permanently 'damaged' by religion.
I have always found women pretty and I have always found myself sexuality attracted to them. I can definitely see myself having sex with a woman. But I just do not find vaginas sexually appealing. Someone said on here they don't like penises, well, I feel that way about vaginas. In my head, I've always wanted to do everything with a woman possible except eating them out or fingering them (unless they are wearing underwear, then I wouldn't mind fingering them above the fabric).
Back in my "SJW" days I truly bought in to the idea that sexuality was purely a social construct and anyone could be attracted to non-straight people and body parts if they just unlearned everything harmful society taught us. But it's been years since I started my journey of self discovery sans the religion, and I still don't find vaginas attractive. In my journey I have discovered new things about my sexuality, but despite my best 'efforts', I still have never been able to find vaginas attractive. The best I have gotten is I don't find them as repulsive as I once had back in my religious days, but I still just don't like them.
I feel like disliking certain genitals wouldn't be a problem if I was a guy - I've talked with gay and bi men, and they say that not every gay or bi guy is into anal or really into sucking dicks, etc. But I feel like, as a woman, if I say I like women but I don't like vaginas, then I'm "fake". This causes me to feel confused… Do I not like vaginas because of what religion and society taught me? Or am I just over thinking this and it is totally okay and normal for some women to like women but not be attracted to vaginas?
Honestly don't feel that bad about it, it's not weird. I know there are straight guys that are grossed out by the idea of eating a girl out and etc too. Genitals are fucking weird, it's not that strange to dislike one or both. They were made more for function than beauty and they can be kind of gross. If you ever want to be in a sexual relationship with another woman though, you'd have to at least become tolerant of them.
Have you had sex with a woman before? I used to feel grossed out by vaginas myself, but mellowed out about over time and experience.
Only because it would be less confusing. Straight people know they're straight because they like the opposite sex and they KNOW they're not gay. When you're bi you spend years questioning if you're really bi or if you're faking half of it. Growing up you feel like both sides of your sexuality have to be perfect mirrors of each other or it's not legitimate, like >>78515
worrying about her indifference to vaginas making her fake, when tons of ~monosexual~ (hate the word but it's convenient here) don't necessarily like the genitals of their preferred sex but it's still pretty obvious what their orientation is. I've basically had to accept that the bottom line is that I'd be with a man or a woman and the minor differences in how i experience those attractions doesn't really matter.
I still wouldn't want to be gay or straight because being bi feels like a life hack to me. You have the option of that het life but you also literally don't need a man so you can be as picky as you want. Lol no wonder people hate us
Have you ever had sex with a man? Honestly dicks ARE gross and the idea of straight sex is offputting in theory, but in actuality, as long as the man attached to the dick is not gross, (clean, nice face, your age, reasonable personality) sex is fine. I don't think anyone thinks dicks are sexy, maybe men but not straight women. The fact men try and send the pics like we are supposed to like it is ???
I think it's easy to be a young lesbian just because we are not grossed out by our own bodies, it all makes sense to us VS unfamiliar weird men.
For me the distinction is: I'm only interested in men's personalities in general. Also I want kids, and the fact a man is so different is interesting to me, as well as finding straight sex rewarding in ways gay sex can't be.
After realising that I untrained myself to be bi (like I said it's very easy to be theoretically bi) because both mind and body prefer men in actuality. Preferring women is only in theory. Just offering perspective on this, not trying to say either way is good or bad.
Good point. I've never had sex with a man, but I've had the opportunity. I never did it though because I haven't liked any of those guys.
I've also experienced sexual assult/harrassment from men, so it might be some sort of trauma and disgust linked to that.
I also have a really sexual female friend who's also bisexual that keeps talking to me about straight things like sucking dick, which is so gross to me and just makes everything worse.
>I'm only interested in men's personalities in general. Also I want kids
I feel the same way tbh. I often find myself attracted to men's personalities because they're more dominant, and most girls aren't. I'd also love to have a nice family with a man. This might be an environmental thing as I was raised in traditional culture.
I guess I should try to work out my issues with sexual assult before I can say 100% sure :/
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I've been hearing that 'scissoring' is a myth and that bi/lesbian women don't actually like that. So I have to ask: is it true? Do most bi/lesbian girls really not like 'scissoring'? The reason I ask is because I haven't been with a woman yet, but that's the main thing I would like to do if I ever sleep with one.
I personally cannot get off unless I lay on my stomach and grind up against something firm, like my mattress. The only other way I seem to be able to get off is if I lay on my back and someone grinds up against me, but I've never had a guy do it long enough to see if that's true. They always stopped right as I was getting really into it and would just go straight into PIV sex, which does nothing for me.
I've tried getting off by just rubbing myself like most girls do, but it just isn't enough pressure and feels bad. When I've been with boys in the past, the only thing that felt really good was when they would lay on me and grind up against me. Them fingering me or eating me out didn't do much or anything at all.
I've always thought about how awesome it would feel to find a girl and we could grind up against each other… but the more I read, the more it sounds unlikely because it's something most girls don't like.
from what I understand it kind of comes down to the bodies of the girls involved. if you're too thin it might be uncomfortable. that's just from what I've heard I unfortunately haven't had the chance to try it yet.
something I've seen in porn that seems doable is just rubbing your pussy against the other girls thigh while your thigh is also grinding against her.
I guess from what I understand, it's not so much that girls don't grind up against each other, it's more of they don't do it for long, and they can't orgasm from it. Which again sucks, because grinding up against something is the only way I've ever been able to get off.
>rubbing your pussy against the other girls thigh while your thigh is also grinding against her
I'm having trouble imagining this, I'll have to look into it later after I've woken up a bit more, hah.>>79750
It's not. And I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi.
Huh, really? Why? Sorry if that's a dumb question, I can't see it>>79730
I feel you. I can get off in other ways too, but grinding is one of the best I can do it with men too if I'm on top
and there's something extremely hot about the idea…
hmm I don't think you have to be flexible. You literally just rub someone's pussy with yours. That's not acrobatics.
I used to do it with my friend, it wasn't even completely sexual for us as we were stupid teens fooling around, just something that felt good. Can confirm you can orgasm like this just fine.
Not everyone's willing to try though, especially that there are more pleasurable ways of doing sex.
But it's not impossible or just a lesbian meme.
Some guys fap to anime goo girls…
it’s fiction and that’s what may be making you interested
I find myself drawn to women way more than men, BUT a lot of the time I'm unsure of whether I'm feeling friendship or something else. I have always had a difficult time gauging whether my feelings for anyone were romantic or platonic. Women make me really nervous romantically.
I messed up my first (only) chance at a relationship with another woman because I literally felt like I was gonna have a nosebleed every time I was around her.
I'll never know now since I'm happily with the love of my life, who happens to be a man. But I will always wonder!
same as >>83202
but I also feel an insane amount of guilt because I'm bi but in a """"straight"""" relationship. I'm sure other gals have experienced this, but it hurts the most when other LGBT people tell us that we're "basically straight"
I love women with big curly hair, its just too cute, and a cute face to match. The cute part is really abstract, If I find her face cute its cute and that's it, there is no criteria.
I also like them to have some muscle and/or to be a chubby, I just can't find attractive a extremely skinny with no muscle woman.
Hell, I'd strap it on every time and I'm not even butch.
I can identify with crushing mostly on women and being appalled by male behavior. I don't think I've ever really felt truly loved and satisfied by relationships with men, tbqh prefer sucking cock to PIV, mostly though I fucking love pegging. Most guys don't like it as much as I would want. So yeah.
I'm bi and full of internalised biphobia, please give me advice!
I very infrequently got crushes (on either gender) as a teen and grew up when faking it was what 90% of my peers did, so just kinda assumed it was a myth (ugh) and that thinking girls are hot is just normal and not a bi thing (as mentioned before, I never got crushes on anyone so that in turn meant I never got crushes on girls). These two things made me deny the possibility i was bi until I was an adult (and i'm still not comfortable coming out). I've since had crushes and dated girls so It's not really something i'm confused about, more an insecurity.
I feel huge amounts of shame (and often hide it from my lgbt friends in particular) if i date a guy because i'm terrified i'll look like a 'fake bi'. I never actively look for relationships, so the majority of mine have been hetero since its just more common to bump into straight guys than gay/bi girls, haha. This also makes me doubt myself, like I haven't been able to prove to myself that I'm a good enough bi because I've only dated 2 girls.
Also, my most common reaction to hearing someone is bi is to doubt them because I'm used to fakers, and I hate this about myself.
Do you guys have any advice for this? I hate that i'm untrusting of anyone saying they're bi, and I hate myself every time I get into a het relationship cus I feel everyone is judging me in the exact way that I judge everyone else. I am a horrible person and so massively insecure about my sexuality pls help
(Newfag here so sorry if this is like completely inappropriate)
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Damn are you me?
I got somewhat past the insecurity by basically being honest and minding my own business. By that I mean, if your sexuality comes up, just say you're bi and leave it at that. If you're not like "i'm so gay you guys!" or "i swear i'm basically straight!" then who has the right to question you? Only people who don't believe in bisexuality at all, which I think you probably believe in by now since you never had an ulterior motive to fake it yet you have these desires very obviously. You're bi. End of story. Which brings me to,
when other people say they're bi, instead of doubting them OR believing them 100%, just accept that you have no idea if they're really bi or really confused or curious. It's something only they can ever know so it's not anything to worry about unless they're asking you for advice or something.
The same applies to straight or gay people! When a dude with a long term gf says he's straight, you have no idea if he secretly has a lot of gay fantasies and may be a closet bi, it's certainly not unheard of, but you probably just more or less take his word for it.
Bisexuality is not a special case. Lots of people fake or don't understand their orientations and preferences. Some people are more blatantly confused or faking than others, but it's just something you can never really know, so it's unreasonable to fully believe or fully doubt what someone tells you about their sexuality.
The only thing that makes you bi is being attracted to men and women, anon.
I want no threesomes at all, but I'm still bisexual.
I'm not really interested either, anon. It feels fetishy when people suggest that, tbh, especially since it's often straight guys or "unicorn hunter" couples.
I'm not interested in threesomes much at all because of jealousy. I can see where it'd be fun if I got past the jealousy, though.
I still like women and men, bisexuals aren't a monolith other than that we like men and women!
I relate to this so much anon.
I feel like a lot of bisexual women just want to hookup with me? They show interest up until the point that they realize I want a serious relationship. :/ Also: observation, it seems like a lot of bi women prioritize male relationships over female ones. Like, they'll 'fool around' with girls, but when it's a guy, she's 'committed'.
Unfortunately, this has to do with there being more guys available in the dating pool. Take my area for example, there aren't that many bi women here, and the ones that are available are either already in a relationship, or they are not someone I would ever want to date, especially not long term. There aren't many lesbians out here either, and the ones that are available, most of them don't want to date bisexual women. This doesn't leave a lot of options to choose from, unless you want to settle for someone you don't really like.
It's not really surprising that lots of bi women eventually end up in long term relationships with men, since there is a lot more options to choose from. Sad but true.
anon are you me? i've been dealing with a similar thing lately, i definitely think i'm still bi but at this point i like women 99% of the time>>85431
i find it surprising that so many of us do end up with men, i know there's a stereotype about lesbians hating bi women but luckily i've only been with ones who were totally respectful. with guys as soon as they know you're bi they treat you like a sex object and only let you talk about your bisexuality when it turns them on, but when you actually want a relationship with a woman and leave them for one all hell breaks loose
It sounds like we're mostly on the same page. I don't think bi woman find other bi/lesbian women "disposable", it's mostly boils down to a numbers game. The fact is, heterosexual people can date and dump a lot of people before they land on "the one". Being heterosexual means you won't have as much trouble finding people that you find attractive, are in your age range, into the same things you are, etc. Of course being able to have biological kids and not having to explain your sexuality is another factor, but I argue that it is not the bigger reason why bi woman end up with guys.
Gay/bi people have it harder because the dating pool is already small as it is. It gets even smaller when you consider things like availability, age gaps, life styles, and finding the person sexually attractive.
Using myself as an example, I browsed a couple of dating sites with bi/lesbian women within 2 hours of my location. I ran into a lot of problems:
1. Age gaps - a lot of women in my area were either way too young or way too old. Maybe some people don't mind huge age gaps, but I do.
2. Sexual attraction. I'm not a model by any means, and my standards are not high. But a lot of the women that were in my age range I just did not find myself attracted to. They were either severely overweight, or they were very butch looking, or they looked like Tumblr SJWs. I'm sure these people were nice, but being blunt, I am not attracted to overweight, butch, or SJW type women. I prefer really feminine women, but for some reason there does not seem to be many of those in my area.
3. Conflicting life styles. If I managed to find a woman that was close in age and attractive, what tended to ruin the chances of a long term relationship was that we have very different life styles. I am not into partying, drinking or drugs. I have a career and I want my partner to have a job as well. I am not interested in being someone's "sugar mama". I am also not interested in dating someone who already has kids. No judgement on people who are into to this stuff, but it's not my thing and not what I want in a long term partner.
This happens every single time I search for bi/lesbians in my area, even when I try looking for women hours away. Meanwhile, I can look for men within 1 hour of my location and I'll have several potential matches that are likely to lead to a long term relationship.
I give some of the bi/lesbian women a chance, but I know it's just going to end in a hookup. It's not because I think the women are disposable, but because they are just not what I want in a long term partner. I'm sure there are women that would make great long term partners, but they aren't in my area or if they are, they're already taken.
Honestly, it really sucks. I'm sure not the only bi woman with this problem.
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Anybody here ever been with a man that's scared you'll leave him for a woman? How did you deal with that quelling fear in him and the feeling of misogyny and biphobia that it evokes?
My boyfriend – who I've been with for ~9 months – knows I have a much stronger preference for women; he says himself that he's an "anomaly." I should also note that he IDs as pansexual with a strong preference for women. I genuinely love him, but I know that if we ever broke up I would go back to dating mainly women. I've never told him this, and so I think his fear stems from the fact that my best friend is a lesbian, and him knowing I have a schoolgirl-type innocent crush on 2 female baristas at our local coffee shop.
I have very little interest in ever pursuing anything with my best friend, and I can only see myself ever potentially dating 1 of the 2 baristas I have a crush on should my boyfriend and I ever break up.
And inb4 "you sound like a cheater / if you have crushes on anyone while you're in a relationship, you shouldn't be in a relationship" bullshit, I'm not the type to cheat. In fact, I'm quite content in the relationship I have right now and there's very little I would change about it. I just think those women at the coffee shop are pretty.
He's always joking about my crush on the baristas, and in fact will one out to me if they happen to be woking that day. Mostly I think he thinks it's funny to watch me try and make casual conversation with them.
He only really brings up this fear of me leaving him (in general, but sometimes he'll mention me possibly leaving him for a woman) when he's tipsy or a little stoned. I assure him pretty much every day that I do see a future with him, etc., usually without prompting and no matter if he's sober or not. He's the first to admit that he's got some deep-rooted insecurities in that area.
You sort of don't sound like you are thinking seriously about him cause you are already planning who you would get with if you left him. No wonder he's insecure. You should have left those crushes to yourself and maybe not develop them further. Why are you even still going to that Starbucks? That's playing with fire.
And sure he's laughing about it, how else is he supposed to deal with it and not go crazy? It's a way to pretend he's ok with the fact you can't even go to a cafe without developing a crush on some chick.
I get it you can't control your feefies, but maybe be decent enough to not engage them further.
The crushes haven't developed past "Oh, wow, she's beautiful and actually has a sense of humor." Why? Because I only go to that coffee shop with him
maybe once every two weeks. I don't go there without him; we never see these girls around the neighborhood; there's never been any instances of me getting to know them outside of how they are at their job.
There was one time that he went there without me and told me later on that one of them said we should all go out for drinks sometime, but he turned her down since I'm 20. I wasn't bothered by it in the least because I hate drinking around most people that aren't him.
it's normal to have crushes and think other people are cute while you're in a relationship and there shouldn't be any issue unless you're always bringing up how cute other people are to your boyfriend, which doesn't sound like what you're doing. keep reassuring him to a certain point but if at some point you need to tell him to stop being so insecure, do it.
you chose him for a reason and at some point frequent reassurance is unhealthy and a need for it is most likely a sign that he doesn't trust or believe in you enough. if you aren't cheating or seeking out those girls behind his back, you aren't doing anything wrong
No I'm not the retarded anon that made the two other threads but I did post this there.
I wrote out a really long post but deleted it.
What I need to say here though is that I am bisexual and spent a long time ignoring that, as well as fearing rejection so I avoided it.
I took until I was 20 to fully realize it, despite all of the signs being there.
Romantically, I love men and women the same. Sexually, I love women more.
Though, the crushes I have had on women have been a million times more impactful, butterflies in my stomach…heart racing crushes.
Guys I tend to see as "marriage and kids" bait. If I don't want to be married and have kids with them then I don't want to be with them at all, in fact I probably don't have respect for them.
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Sometimes I worry that the only reason I’m sexually attracted to women is because of childhood trauma that involved cocsa, thus making me fakebi because maybe I wasn’t born like this, but abused into it. It kills me to think that my love is born from tainted water.
>>56468>>145844an answer to all these AM I BI OR LESBIAN!!?!? questions:
it's a faux pas to talk about online, but bisexuality can be a stepping stone to lesbianism. if you end up exclusively dating and sleeping with women, then at that point, you are a lesbian. however, if you never date nor sleep with women and only date and sleep with men, then you are straight. if you have dated and slept with both male and female partners and will continue to do so, you are bi.
despite what thought-police twitterfags obsessed with discourse have to say, it's more about what you actually do than what you think. the oppression same-sex-attracted people experience comes from how they act, not what they think about, so labelling yourself should follow the same logic. for example, if you're 300 lbs and you simply fantasize about losing weight and being thin without ever actually doing anything, you're not suddenly considered a thin person, right? you're still just a 300 lb. fatty with dreams.
the reality is many people can view the same sex as attractive in some capacity or another and can fantasize about them, but gay thoughts do not a homosexual make. recognizing your desire is the first step, but actually acting on it is what defines you as homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual.
Did anyone else go to weird lengths to minimize their attraction to women? I've only come to terms with my preference for women this year (and I'm turning 23 soon), but it's been a fucking journey. TMI warning I guess.
Some bullshit I did:>ease myself into it by first liking femboys as a teen, slowly adding masculine traits to my fantasies (body hair, angular male features, etc.)>would begin masturbating to women, then switch to men to train myself to get off to them>"well, I only like pegging and would hate to be penetrated…but hey, it's str8">at one point, men in my fantasies would only have an asshole and no genitals>socially overcompensate by obsessing over men to increase pressure on myself to like them>draw men often so that I'd find them more appealing with exposure
I'm still definitely bisexual, but it's funny how I somehow missed that I did all these (mostly) subconscious things for years. At least I never succeeded in dating a man, or else I'd be one of those anons stuck with someone I love but can never truly be satisfied with. I know I'd be 100% satisfied with a woman and never desire men again, but it wouldn't be the same with a guy. >>145853
You're describing febfem, anon.
The difference is that a bisexual woman can still choose to be with a man and be relatively happy, but lesbians cannot. It's a privilege to have that choice and we can never have the true lesbian experience because of it.
bi people can get married, of course, but if they will no longer continue to participate in homosexual relationships, they are effectively straight. they will not experience any of the oppression that people in homosexual relationships experience. what significance does your attraction to the same sex hold if you're married to the opposite sex? assuming you are faithful and monogamous, you will not act on it because you intend on being with your partner for the rest of your life, so it has no impact on you, your partner, your relationship, the world at large or societal treatment of you. you could describe yourself as previously bisexual if you have a history of romantic and sexual relationships with both men and women. truly, you can self-describe as whatever you want on an individual level– for many (but not all), sexuality is not as immutable as people insist it is– but when it comes to defining the term to create a protected class in the eyes of institutions, a bisexual person is someone who has the continuing intention of dating and having sex with same-sex and opposite-sex partners. you can't bestow or deny someone rights for what they think, only for how they act, which is why the label should be hinged on behavior and not simply attraction.
>be me, virgin saving sex for marriage, very "trad" from a young age
>have it in my head from the time i'm about 3 years old that i'll find my very much male soul mate as soon as i grow up and we'll live happily ever after forever
>exclusively crush on boys all throughout childhood, never even consider other girls as anything more than friends
>cannot emphasize enough that i'm obsessed with romance, all i ever do as a kid is fantasize about how wonderful it will be to be in love (with a man) and live like couples in movies like the notebook do
>and yet the first time i remember feeling aroused was when i was maybe eight and saw a woman taking off her bikini in a movie
>was super confused by the feeling, never felt what i now recognize as sexual attraction for the male actors i crushed on and daydreamed about marrying before
>try to replicate feeling by looking at shirtless men, can't do it
>all throughout puberty, exclusively get off to same-sex fantasies while maintaining the strictly straight happily ever after daydreams, never even considering women in a romantic way
>finally, fucking FINALLY, when i'm about 17, i learn to connect my emotional daydreams with my sexual feels and develop a sexual attraction for men
>it requires a lot more thinking and feeling on my part than the raw, innate sexual attraction i felt - and still feel - for women, but it feels just as good
>weirdly, can't replicate that emotional sexual attraction with women i'm physically attracted to, and what i feel for women begins to wane as attraction to men increases
>"okay, i guess i'm definitely straight - i guess that was just a phase"
>enter straight relationship, i'm happy while i'm in it and don't have any sexual thoughts about women at all, further validating my thoughts that i'm straight
>it ends badly, i see men for who they really are, all those daydreams i had about soul mates and true love are shattered
>sexual attraction to women comes back, but i'm still not emotionally attracted to them
>can't really experiment since i'm still saving myself for marriage, but i kiss a female friend while drunk and feel… nothing
>it feels like i'm kissing a family member, there's no sexual chemistry at all and my friend is freaking beautiful
>nothing like kissing a man, which always turns me on
i'm still not sure what the fuck i am - straight, bi, closeted lesbian who had to force her attraction to men? bisexual or homosexual but heteroromantic? i suppose it doesn't really matter since it'll work itself out eventually (fingers crossed), but i just wish i understood my feelings better. has anyone else here been in a similar situation?
Yeah, I'm still bisexual since I do find appeal in men and their penises, it's just in a very odd way at this point (and a way that most wouldn't accept).>Do you have a preference for feminine men when you date them because you like women, or was going through that process solely to "ween" yourself from the attraction to women?
I didn't date them, and I think it's a mix of both. The attraction that's there I tried to foster into being bigger.
I guess when it comes down to it I'm just too bisexual to be a lesbian but too into women to function in a straight relationship…>>145911
Are you attracted to your friend? Even if she's conventional, that doesn't mean you specifically will be attracted to her.
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99% sure i'm in love with my best friend, but i'm also not freaking out about it because i might just never tell her, i feel like i can't afford to lose her as a friend.
the dumbest thing is that i adore her, she's my pefect woman, beautiful and talented and funny and generous, she's also bi, we respect and appreciate each other the same amounts and she thinks i'm hot too. part of what motivates me in my current self-improvement drive is wanting to be cute and accomplished enough to be her girlfriend.
I wouldn't even know what to do if she kissed me, i might go into a coma. Why am I living in a cliche? what do i do???
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>>146152>she's bi>also finds you hot
If you're that close she probably wouldn't want to lose the friendship either, even if she doesn't return the feelings. Make a move! I believe in you!
Hey thanks for replies anons x>>146159
We're both single and consistently disappointed in men. I'm not looking for a relationship right now cos i need to work on myself but actually I think it could work with her? Because she needs and wants the same thing??
By 'signs of interest' she's never made a concrete move, but she tells me she loves me all the time and tells me how hot i am when we're drunk. She asks me what to do when she's lonely and touch starved and i say 'make a hot water bottle' because i'm a coward.
Yes I do hear myself and i'm sorry.>>146172>she probably wouldn't want to lose the friendship either
I don't think she would and I respect her too much to be an asshole if she turns me down, but, I'm a coward.
She's also said she feels like she's outgrown all other friends except me, so I don't want to make her last friendship weird.
She's the first female friendship I've had in a long time and it's something I've always felt insecure about, so I want to enjoy it platonically for at least a bit longer.>>146242
The dumbest thing is that I have next to no problem asking strangers for their numbers or otherwise being very forward, sometimes with women but always with men. I don't have any experience turning a friendship into a relationship.
How would I even do it???
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>Last year, I lived in shared housing with this straight woman who I became incredibly close to and knew I was bi
>She would call me in the mornings to wake me up (I have insomnia), and would sometimes call me during the day too, just to talk.
>When she came back from work, we'd sit in her room together for hours, sometimes until 2am
>This was my reality everyday and I was okay with it because I was secretly into her
>However, she could be horrible
>She would constantly insult me and would occasionally throw things at me
>But I accepted it because she was hot
>One day, she randomly cut me off (despite still living together). I tried to fix things but that was that. She didn't explain why
>I accept it and eventually move out, still into this woman despite everything
>She randomly messages me the other month to apologise for everything that happened and says it wasn't my fault
>I still like her and I don't know why
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Does anyone go through periods where they prefer one gender for a while, and then switch to preferring the other, and like go back and forth? This happens often with me being mostly interested in guys for like a month then having all my attention on women, sometimes it makes me confused on whether I'm actually straight or a lesbian or if it's just normal for a bi person.
This reminded me of something that happened to me years ago. I had psych appointments every 3 months to check that my anxiety meds were working. At one of the appointments I met a brand new psych and was asked my sexuality. I answered straight because I was caught off guard and didn't want to discuss my sexuality. It really bothered me afterwards and I wished I had asked why they even needed to know.. 3 months later at an appointment with yet another stranger I'm asked again and I say lesbian just because I had my gf sitting in the waiting room so..
Well after that they spoke to me about how I had an 'unstable sense of self' and they were looking into possible personality disorder based on my changing answer. I don't want to disclose my sexuality to a new psch I met ten mins ago! but I also don't have the guts to refuse an answer lol
I still just have anxiety. Nothing thankfully came from it.
My bisexuality switch between "basically straight" and "basically a lesbian" like no end
I find no attraction to women when I'm "basically straight" and no attraction to men when I'm "basically a lesbian"
It's super weird and it always feels like a switch has flipped due to the absence of attraction I experience to those genders
It's super annoying!
you can define yourself however you want but GENERALLY sexuality = your desire to have sex with someone.
if you would willingly have sex with the opposite gender + same gender you're bi. if you would willingly have sex with only the opposite gender you're straight. if you would willingly have sex with only the same gender you're gay.
Lmao thinking you're straight then realizing you're gay wouldn't even mean you have a personality disorder, wtf? Change your psych imo.>>149435
I mostly agree with the other anon but since you're a virgin it's hard to say. If you still think penises are gross after you've tried em then you can't be bisexual imo. True sexual attraction includes genitalia, at the very least one would be neutral to it.
It was about a decade ago so I'm luckily no longer needing those services but yeah even if I'd given conflicting answers because of confusion around my sexuality.. Why pathologize a young person questioning their sexuality?
That psychiatrist must be losing her mind seeing all the new attitudes popping up around identity/sexuality and gender since then lol
I felt pretty grossed out the first time a guy put my hand on his dick, I wasn't as ready as I thought I was and for a while my sex with guys didn't involve me actively doing anything with their penis before sex.. years later I'm still a bit 'meh' when it comes to playing with them but sex itself is still fine.
So I'm many years into being sexually active with men and still weirdly questioning because I suppose the attraction isn't the same compared to how much I want to hands on explore a woman.
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eat shit and die scrote
sorry for the long post, but my only advice for finding other queer woman is to find someone bi, lol. being bicurious and sticking to bi women (especially those who are bi4bi) is easier tbh, because imo they’re way more likely to understand you and not take offence if you realise you’re not actually into women romantically. i’ve heard of way too many bi/bicurious girls being verbally abused by gold star lesbians who think all bi women are just straight women deep down, but def take this with a grain of salt because i’m pretty biased, lol.
tbh with the religious parents part it really depends. i’m guessing you mean heavily religious, more conservative religious parents? in which case - be ready to have your (potential) bisexuality invalidated and/or ignored, and be ready to deal with the bs stigma that comes with bisexuality (slutty, diseased, etc). most importantly, though, i’d really recommend looking out for yourself and prioritising your safety. if you don’t think it’s a good time to come out, don’t do it. if you don’t think it’s a good idea until you’re potentially in a serious relationship with a woman, then definitely wait. you know your parents best, though, so this might not be that helpful. good luck figuring everything out though anon!
I’m married, love my husband, don’t care about other men, but I’m very much attracted to other women.
I think it’s mostly in a platonic way but I do have sexual fantasies. I’m kinda prude too but I find women a lot more sexually appealing than men, although I do enjoy sex with my male partner.
>>151403>I want to have children and get married
…can't you do that with a woman, though?
But also no judgement since I essentially had the opposite realization that I'm very far from hetero and want to go for only women due to desire for a feminine partner.
Whatever is easiest to get what you want, anon. Sperm donor shit can be scary and adoption is hard.
(Also yeah, I could never do anything even polyamory-adjacent despite being attracted to so many people)
I mean I want to have biological children with my partner. IMO donor shit is weird and I don't feel comfortable having some random dude's kid, or raising someone else's.
I'm very much sexually attracted to women but I feel like dating them would be a waste of time considering my desire for a family and to be protected. It's also frustrating to me that lesbian sex can't be 'mutual' in the same way that PIV or male-on-male PIA can be, which makes me worry that sex with another woman wouldn't be entirely enjoyable because I'd be really conscious of the fact that one of us wasn't feeling anything.
I mainly get off to my partner being pleasured so if I did have sex with a woman I'd probably be a 'stone top' which wouldn't be very satisfying to me. Also I really like penetration but a woman could only do that with a toy or with her hand which I could already just do on my own.
Sorry this delved into a huge paragraph about my sexual preferences lmao.
You're seriously calling me straight after I described how I'd have sex with a woman? LOL
I come from a very conservative religious household and repressed the shit out of my sexuality for years so sorry I'm not exactly banging women left and right. I thought I was a lesbian for a reason.
You described Sapphic sex and how much it disinterests/wouldn't satisfy you. How does that make you gay lol. I can talk about how I would
have sex as a gay man, but that doesn't make me a gay man. It'd be one thing if you described and enjoyed it, but seeing as you don't want a partnership with women and the sex disinterests you, like? What are people supposed to think kek.
Okay explain why she doesn’t want to even pursue a relationship with a woman because she can’t fathom a domestic life with one? >>151593
>>151556 >I'm very much sexually attracted to women
Everything you wrote after that was you bascially saying lesbian sex seems shit and not worth your time. Girl come on now.
If you can dismiss the idea of sex with women before you've ever even tried it.. go live your straight life and don't worry yourself about the 'what ifs' that you'll never even explore anyway.
The problem is you're giving scrote's opinions WAY too much credit. That's it. Don't talk to them about your sexuality, don't argue in your head with their stupid soundbites that they've forgotten saying, don't try to convince them of anything. Straight men's opinions and your actions/feelings are a whole universe apart.
I say this as somebody who was very hurt when my ex boyfriend told me I wasn't 'really' bisexual because (at the time) I hadn't slept with any women. Then I realized he was just talking bullshit about things he knew nothing about, as usual. The kicker was that he was always extremely, confidently straight, AND I TOOK HIS VIRGINITY. He didn't need experience to confirm his sexuality, but I did apparently. He even said he wished he was bisexual because they 'had more options'. That should have clued me in to how little he knew about bisexuality.
Work out where the judgement is actually coming from, and learn not to care. If you're pre-judging yourself based on what you think others are thinking? Fine, you can just work on your insecurities. From cumbrained scrotes? Literally not even worth considering. Bitter gatekeeping lesbians? Not anything to do with you.
People will literally always be annoyed at you for being yourself, in any situation. You will always be misunderstood and disliked for reasons that are nothing to do with you, because people view the world through a lens of their own bullshit and issues.
i think it could be good for women that just came out of a toxic
relationship where they overextended themselves, but once you pull yourself up and start working on your boundaries and self-respect, i think you are done here. fds could be used for some improvement/advice, but it is not a place where you should spend several hours a day. use some of the advice and move on, since the self-improvement stuff they give is bare bones anyway
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I have dated a woman once but it was years ago, since then I have only been with men. So Im feeling "new" in dating women. Should I try just sex first to feel more certain in my sexuality? Also I at least want the sexual experience so I dont have to be that woman who ends up with a husband and begs other women for threesomes.
Because being bi isn't as cut and dry as "I will never be sexually attracted to men, therefore my family and friends will have no choice but to get over it at some point." There's always the pressure, a lot of times perceived, to get married to a man and have kids with only him. And it's like, you're not straight so you're still an outsider to that culture, too. It will never fit you like a glove the way it will for actual straight people.
The irony is that straight man + bisexual woman is a terrible fucking combo.
Being bisexual is like being an alien when you realize the truth is that the vast majority of people are literally only attracted to one sex or the other and can't imagine doing both. Anyway as time goes by I accept the possibility of giving my parents a stroke by ending up with a woman. Men are a chore to deal with, and my past experiences with male retardation have left me becoming less and less sexually attracted to them. I wonder how much of the "bi woman ends up with a man" thing has to do with major insecurities anyway.
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It’s pretty weird to say ana when what you mean is thin. Also might just be me but super thin body types on both men and women are just as gross to me as fat fucks. I like women to be the lower end of a normal BMI or higher end of normal if they have cute af faces and cute little boobs. And ofc my own celeb crush aka handsome picrel has a dad bod.
Some people mentioned trans people and I find FTMs so attractive, don’t know how anyone couldn’t like them tbh.
Some of them do it for clout chasing, especially if they are in a very liberal environment like art. They tend to be young people though, hopefully they grow out of it. >>170843>don’t know how anyone couldn’t like them tbh
Because they tend to be neurotic messes who only care about gender shit.
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God i want to shove my face in some pussy
I never liked the idea of dating girls, even when I realized I want to fuck them. Part of it is that I like cock too much, but I think its also because I've developed feelings for female friends before that I always suppressed as soon as I felt them… Like for example, I'm with my pal and I think damn she looks good in that dress… NO! BAD ANON! THATS YOUR FRIEND!
It's like I can't be emotionally close with a female and attracted to her at the same time. One of my best friends, man, there's something there but I just can't let those feelings blossom, thats a boundary I can't push. And she's also bisexual but that just makes it worse. Just the thought of touching her or being romantic with her repulses me because I can't see her in that way. But there's something there! I fucking hate this. Why can't I catch romantic feelings for a random girl who isn't my friend? Not that I want ti meet new people. I have a male fwb and that's enough for me, for now. God. This post started out as a rant about wanting to eat pussy then I had my epiphany of why I dont want to date girls.
I've never even fucked a girl before. Ive just made out with them at a sleepover once, but I was like 13 so that doesnt count. I've been doubting my bisexuality because I have no real experience and no desire to have a girlfriend but THATS starting to change too… Just yesterday I was thinking about how comfy it would be to chill in my imaginary girl's room and doing whatever…
Sorry for this rambling mess but I can't tell anyone else about this. I just need to fuck a girl to confirm that I really like them and I'm not just a bored straight girl.
I caught (sexual) feelings for him. He's not a hideous swampmonster but not my usual type either. I guess I shouldn't have called him ugly since I do like him but I'm just being honest. >>170872
Because I like him? We're pretty sexually compatible and I enjoy his company. And yeah its pretty pathetic getting rejected for a threesome but I dont care. I just find it funny that people latched onto me having an uggo fwb when that's the only positive part of my post.
>>170972 > I just find it funny that people latched onto me having an uggo fwb when that's the only positive part of my post.
You're not making alot of sense. Fucking an ugly guy is a positive?
And latching onto what? People commenting on details you provided is how discussions work.. gotta love how weirdly defensive some anons will get over an admittedly ugly no-strings scrote lol
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I’m curious what the people ITT think of the Kinsey scale and where they’d put themselves on it. I would personally put myself at about 4
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I did the online test right now. It's a 2. Yep, that feels just right.
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I thought I was a 3 and got 3 using this test. However I don't see myself ever marrying a scrote unless he acts like a devoted house husband. Women just seem like way better marriage material because of sexist gender roles.>>171285
At least I think a lot of "straight" people are actually bi, especially men who often don't dare to admit it.
I got a 4.
I’m more often attracted to women. I mostly fantasize about women. But they are almost always straight.
Slept with a butch woman but wasn’t super attracted to her personality. Same going to lesbian bars, I never attracted the type of women I like. Only once have I met a lesbian who I was 100% about who liked me. The timing didn’t work out at all, but I still think about her years later. Like I have no way of even talking to her now and I want to punch myself in the face.
Mostly I’ve had relationships with men. I’m not at all attracted to very masculine men, and I’m pretty happy with the men most straight women reject. So it makes homosexual dating extremely easy for me.
If more women were gay and my family more accepting of homosexual relationships, I would easily be exclusively with women. Oh well, c’est la vie.
I've always told bfs that I'm super open minded..as a result of that (kind of lie) I've had enough of them open up to me about both fetishes and how they fucked a guy once. Even male friends, fucking roommates have opened up to me (and apparently nobody else) about a once-off gay fuck or a male fuck buddy they kept a secret from everyone
That's what I think is happening, alot more of that than we know of
An awful lot of the secretive bi experiences I've had shared with me were affairs. In a way I can see how they were driven to be secretive but being secretive WHILE dating someone already makes it this incredibly shitty (and health risking) thing for the woman which in turn will make her distrust bi men if the guy is caught. It's such a mess but men messing around with crossdressers and other men sometimes feel entitled to cheat because they use that shaming as a way to justify it to themselves.
Being open would help fix that weird cycle of it creating distrust and being used as the most messed excuse to fuck around, but I think men will stay in their comfort zone of having an unaware gf and just hitting up Grindr the odd time while 'working late'
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Would a bi only dating app be a good idea? I kind of like the thought of it
>>171871>because lesbians are really mean to us sometimes
but as long as they also ban couples and straight men i don't see a problem with it
what i meant is that lesbians often appropriate spaces bisexual women build for ourselves so we can talk about our attraction to both men and women without being shamed or judged. they’ll invade the communities we create and purposely focus on how you can only REALLY be gay if you only focus on how much you like women, and shame us for our attraction to men until we feel too ashamed to acknowledge that side of bisexuality.
why do you think the lesbian general on here is so full of bisexual women who refuse to admit they're bi? men are shit but we’re still allowed to find them sexy, and there are no spaces online where we’re free to express this without some annoying dyke popping up to be like IMAGINE BEING ATTRACTED TO MEN LMAO or whatever.
I have actually downloaded some bi app, but it had like 5 users in my country.
Do any of you actually do this or are they just trying to make it into a thing? Im just glad bis dont have any stereotypes about looks as we already have enough of "confused greedy sluts" ones.
doesn't mean homophobe, most likely terfs are lesbian and bi women.
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>parents be like "your future husband, or wife, whatever it's [current year]"
>take this as a sign they are ok with me potentially not being straight
>drop more and more hints i'm bi as the days go on, but not actually come out
>parents be like "your future HUSBAND", emphasis on husband, no longer mentioning wife
is this a common experience? should i even bother to come out to them?
When I was in my last relationship (3 years with a guy) my dad could not stop dropping hints that he's okay with gay people. He was a bit homophobic when I was growing up so I guess it was nice to see him change with the times lol
Since that relationship ended… he has stopped saying all that shit. I feel way more of a need to open up about this now that I'm not locked into what I thought would be a possibly 'forever relationship'. Great, now that the need to open up is here.. he's awfully quiet about gays. I feel your frustration.
I totally understand why lesbians would only want to date other lesbians. I touched on this before, but they relate to each other better because they're part of the same little community. So long as they just have a preference for each other and aren't disparaging bi women, I don't care what they do.
I don't really take any romantic preferences personally. I like when people are up front about that sort of thing.
I told my mom once that I was bi (or rather she asked me if was attracted to both men and women) and for a while she said "boyfriend or girlfriend" like yours, and the other day she said something like "whoops wrong gender, you're not attracted to women anyway". I think she has completely forgotten about it, since I'm a schizoid autist I don't date, so I'm not really open about my sexuality, but still it stings to see she doesn't really listen to me. I've also always been very vocal about never getting married and having kids since early childhood, to which she was always supportive, but recently she's been saying things like "never say never, you don't know what can happen", which always gets on my nerves. If I ever date a woman I'll never tell her (or my dad for that matter), I know she doesn't like lesbians and my parents don't want to understand what bisexuality is at all.
>>172803sorry in advance for a long and corny reply but
i can't really answer your question properly because though i'm more interested in women, i'm currently in a relationship with a bi man. i did just wanna say though that i don't think you need to worry too much about bi women with a male preference judging you or having any negative feelings about you - i have a mix of bi friends who lean either way in terms of preference, but there's no judgement or anything like that. i think it's easier to bond over our shared experiences than it is to nitpick our differences in things like gender attraction or whatever. from my experiences, i've also seen the opposite from bi women with a preference in men - they tend to worry a lot that bi women with a preference for women will judge them for being 'bihet' or whatever that stupid phrase is, so i hope that helps in making you feel a little less under a microscope to know that it's a shared experience. i hope this doesn't come off as me trying to be like 'oh well who cares lol everyone feels that way' - definitely not what i'm trying to do!
also, your point about much of the discussion in bisexual female spheres surrounding men is really interesting, and it's not something i've realised before. i assume it tends this way because it's hard to distinct ourselves and form our own community away from lesbians by talking solely about women, but so much of the discourse in bi spaces also revolves around men (like 'you're still bi if you've only been with men or if you prefer men!') because of the general LGB discourse that tends to label bisexuals as 'not gay enough'. in general, i'm also sorry that you feel excluded because of this - i feel like that's something really important that i've never seen discussed in bi spaces before, and i hope it's focused on more.
i think u just have some internalized homophobia OR just anxiety about ruining friendships. i was in love w my best (female) friend for years and never told her, it crushed me, and made me try to push down my feelings for girls in the future. the next time i made a close female friend and was attracted to her, i ignored and suppressed it for over a year bc i thought it would be the same painful situation. i had the same feeling of revulsion and 'no you can't think she's hot that's bad'
then she asked me out and the fact that id had feelings for her all along hit me like a brick and now we're in love & live together lmao
sorry for blogpost but i think you should accept and allow ur feelings for girls! you're not a creep or weird for crushing on a friend or thinking she's hot in a dress. just let urself feel it! maybe something will come of it! even if it doesn't, you didn't do anything wrong and there's no need to suppress ur feels
I kind of understand? Wish I was full les though since women are awesome. Just feels like I'm in a weird limbo where my experience isn't fully bisexual since I never intend to engage with men but I'm not a lesbian because I have fantasized about males in the past.
In the past I felt the reverse and tried super hard to focus on men so that I could finally "fit in" to normie society in some way, but could never make the leap into actually touching one because my feelings evaporate. Now I've come to terms with my preference, but feel weird when other bis mention men.
But like >>172804
said the bisexual experience is really variable. It's just as confusing to everyone, I think, except maybe the true 50/50's.
This is why I avoid bi spaces. 100% bi and like men too but since it's a bi space sometimes the men tend to become more vocal and screech because they're not getting enough attention or whatever. I also hate the "everyone is valid
" midset there tends to be.
Not fully related to what you posted but I feel like I had ro vent sorry
It can also be difficult to find other women open to relationships depending on where you live. I used to live in an ultra religious bumfuck town and nobody was really “out.” I only knew one other bi girl and two older gay guys, that was it.
Times have changed a lot, but many small towns are still the same. Even if your family is fairly accepting, there is a lot of pressure to be “normal,” ie date men.
idk anon. Hetero-leaning bisexuals definitely exist, sometimes to the point where they wouldn't even want to date a woman.
But yeah, unless you choose to be febfem, dating in some places will force you to end up with a man. That's why lesbians in LDR's is such a meme. When I considered men, I'd just talk to dudes in my classes, but now I become mutuals with a gay girl in a different country and think "wow, we're on the same continent…….could she be The One?"
The struggle to find a woman who is attracted to other women and is attracted to you is real.
There's so much distance between us.
Moids are disgusting and they groom girls.
Of course women end up dating more moids because of how men fucking behave.
Men actively chase women, they're upfront and they're many. With women dating women you have so much homophobia and it's just hard to find one like I said.
It's not a girl not wanting to date other girls issue.
I think that is mostly funny because bisexuals are pretty much their only dating pool. Good luck trying to get that cis lesbian lmao.>>173797
Yeah I never told my parents because I feel like they wont get bisexuality and will just label me as a lesbian if Im with a woman. At least I know my mother is okay with homosexuals, father might be dissapointed but that is his problem then.
I'm out to 3 of my friends officially. One other probably knows because I keep posting drawings of gay women kek.
My mother refuses to accept that I'm attracted to women, as in she really said "no, you're straight" when I came out. At some point I'll try to argue with her and change her weird opinions about the gays, but for now I'm just not mentioning it again.
She's not a true homophobe/biphobe/whatever, but we're super close and her approval means a lot to me.
At any rate, I'll never date men so she'll have to accept it on some level lmao.
Basically everyone knows.
This question made me think about the concept of ”being out” for the first time in years.
I’m 25 yo at the moment and have been very secure with my identitety as a bisexual since my teens. I have dated both men and women. People around me have been fine with it because it’s just a given fact at this point.
Actually I have been openly bisexual at my two recent workplaces too. It was mostly because I had openly gay co-workers so it was natural to me to talk about my relationships too.