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Like the title says.
Previous Thread: >>102887
Maybe it is a clit size issue
I'm one of those losers that thought they were trans for a while and the one great thing to come from a few months taking testosterone was a larger clit that sticks out. I come mad easy now, whereas I had a lot of difficulty before
i'm typically submissive but have wanted to try something different for a while now. i was nervous, but managed to be a little more dominant last night. thankfully bf didn't think it was weird, enjoyed it, and wouldn't mind more instances of me taking the lead. any ideas for how i can do this? i don't think he'd like the kind of subby stuff i'm into (i like being lightly slapped, bit, choked, etc.) so i'm not sure what to do. i want to be this super sexy bad bitch that pushes him against the wall while telling him to drop his pants, but i don't think i have the confidence. like, i feel a little silly trying to act like that, you know? i'm just not used to it, but i really want to be
If vibrators don't do anything for you I have some advice, hopefully it helps? For me indirect vibration is what feels best. If I was putting a fast-moving vibrator directly against my clit I'd lose sensation FAST and therefore it'd just not feel good.
So I ALWAYS keep my underwear on, use the lightest levels of vibration, and kinda the head around. I use a wand type too, don't have much luck with any other kind. Make sure you are also really relaxed, of course, and don't be in a hurry. What feels best for me is vibrator low, underwear on, and vibrator not directly on my clit, but to the side pressed against the lip + hood. Getting pretty in depth here sorry, but I hope it helps.
Now if anybody has advice on how to cum from penetrative sex other than just use a vibrator at the same time, I'm all ears.
I did, it was with a tourist I met while hanging out with my friend at a park. Him and his friend approached us asking about the city and stuff, we talked for a while and then they invited us to their airbnb, they were cool so we went.
We had some wine and basically him and I then went to the bedroom, I wasn't exactly drunk just tipsy but I thought eh why not. I was 19 and I wanted to get it over with cause I was starting to get anxious about losing my virginity too late, plus I'm very rarely attracted to guys and he was hot, but most importantly I knew I'd never see him again because he was foreign. Tbh I don't think I would do it with anyone I knew I might see again.
Anyway, I told him I was a virgin and he didn't mind (I don't understand why some guys do) so we just kind of did it. It was awful and didn't even last a minute, hurt a little bit but no bleeding or anything. The guy wasn't the most polite but I didn't really care, left almost right after.
In the taxi home I was excited that I finally did it but the next day I was disappointed that it was so underwhelming but thought it was just cause it was the first time. Looking back it was a pretty shitty experience that I don't like to remember but I'm glad I did it then cause I don't know how long it would have taken me to lose it otherwise. Felt kind of empty for a while afterwards but got over it after having sex with a couple other guys. I gotta say that not being a virgin gave me a lot more confidence around guys hitting on me.
However I always knew I wanted to lose it in a one night stand. I wanted to be "experienced" when I would have an actual relationship for whatever reason.
when climax from PIV i can't stop climaxing multiple times in a row. i feel like a melting candle. It's a lot different than clit orgasm but still really good.
I was once on a psych med that the only way i could climax was from penis in vagina intercourse and i'd come in like less than a minute.
my bf felt like a sex master even though it was just my brain chemicals were whacked out on that med.
Vibrators dont work for everyone. For me they only make my crotch feel numb. I also hate electrical toothbrushes because they do the same to my face lmao. But you could try different types and settings.>>133716
Sex is to be enjoyed by both not just the male. But if the cum is the issue you can just switch to intercourse or have a paper towel ready or something.>>133641
I come from penetration the easiest on a position which is like missionary but my legs are on the guys shoulders.
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I don't know why this is, but I literally cannot do doggy style. Fingers, dick, sex toy - nothing will go inside me. It's like there's a huge wall blocking my vaginal opening or something. It's only in doggy style, otherwise I can put things inside me just fine. Sometimes my boyfriend's dick hurts a lot but I think it's because he's large and I'm really small. But doggy style hurts like hell, like unbearable. Is this normal just to not be able to do doggy style at ALL? Not even like I could force something inside me like that - I straight up don't think anything can enter inside me when I'm on all 4s or bent over. I suspect I may have mild vaginismus, could this be why? It makes me a bit insecure, I want to try new positions but.. I just can't.
Also, how do you introduce roleplay scenarios in a not super awkward way? I want to try some stuff with my boyfriend we used to fantasize about when we were long distance but I get so nervous and shy about it and am scared I'll look like a weirdo or it'll be awkward. I don't really have any sexual confidence after years of sexual abuse so I don't feel like I can just introduce a roleplay scenario to him without feeling weird about it. Is there an easier way to do it, or how should I go about it?
>>133962 > I suspect I may have mild vaginismus > years of sexual abuse
Have you got any real help since the abuse? Getting help for that should really be your first priority before worrying about things like doggy or roleplay. It's very common to have this issue after abuse and it's a sign you need to get professional help to work through serious trauma.
Taking the pressure off when it comes to sex is probably best right now. Step back from sex and address the abuse.
Wow okay so I keep thinking that it went away by itself, but now that I think about it I actually did do some stuff to make it go away. I used to have an involuntary reflux to clench my legs together during sex, and to get myself out of it I would just try to think about sex, just when I was sitting in my room or whatever, and try to stay relaxed and keep my legs open. I also started masturbating with a warm washcloth in the shower, again just trying to relax and be gentle with myself and not be upset if it didn’t work. Since it’s all completely mental, I just had to really really work myself up to finally having sex, feeling really comfortable with my partner at the time, and being able to relax during sex. Taking things one step at a time (one finger, two fingers, missionary, cowgirl, then finally doggy) over the span of about a year as I became more comfortable with myself, having sex and the guys I was with. Lots of lube and being open about what’s happening instead of being ashamed if you can’t do whatever the guy is asking really helps too.
hi anons it's me again
since ive been more "on top" lately, what's something i can call myself/have my bf call me in bed? "mommy" is a definite no-go but shit like "mistress" or "master" makes me cringe too lol
so many top names are cringe unfortunately
is 'miss' too tame? it's formal if nothing else.
Tell him that everyone else sucks their own saliva up as they go, virgin or not I would think that most people know not to mindlessly drool on a person and leave it there. His technique must be awful.
A book he might benefit from reading 'She Comes First' by Ian Kerner
it's nowhere near as good as this anon says it is. >>135389
this is an exercise in creative writing in comparison to the actual experience.
Uhhh, yes it is as good as I explained in >>135389
. That's literally my experience and feelings about it. Experiences are subjective, after all. I'm sincerely sorry you can't enjoy it as much as I do. Hopefully you've found your own ways to reach sexual fulfillment.
Also I want to rephrase this as it's confusing: >Sometimes there is more friction between his dick and your vagina skin (condomless) and sometimes it's very slippery based…
Should say:>When not using a condom sometimes there is more friction between his dick skin and your vagina skin and sometimes it's very slippery based on your and his lubrication levels, giving different sensations.
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Double posting, sorry, but what feels so good about a real penis has a lot to do with the skin and texture. All the tiny ridges of his skin and all the tiny ridges of your skin slide against eachother and stimulate the nerve endings. As he pulls out pushes his dick in, those tiny ridges in yours and his skin catch eachother and create friction. So, it feels like a hard thing, yes, but wrapped in a thinner, soft thing, and the pull/push of the skin of the penis against your vag, and the firmness just underneath, is what feels much better than a dildo. And the warmth, I gather.
This is also why condoms are not idel for pleasure. It smooths out all the skin texture and it's not as nice-feeling.
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Fully dick sperging out, but hopefully this is interesting to someone.
Note the skin at the base of his penis bunches and stretches as she's moving up or down. The vaginal muscles grip the penis too obv, but my point is the skin-to-skin contact, the friction it creates, and just how good that pull of skin feels (especially compared to a dildo). Although I'm sure there are dildos that have friction, it's the dynamic feeling of a sheath of skin over The Hard Thing that makes the experience especially delicious.
GIF IS VERY NSFW
Oh, that sucks then. I didn't realize so many women weren't sensitive enough in their vagina to feel it like I do, I guess.
I focused on very minute details of the skin bc the original anon was asking what a real penis feels like, chill out and go get fucked… oh, wait, you won't enjoy it. No wonder you're bitter.
writing 3 bizarrely detailed, self admitted "full spergout" posts, only about dick, in a row (>>135407, >>135405
) is absolutely gay male tier.
seconding this question. i have a bf of four years i'm planning on dumping for other reasons, but he also refuses to give head. would be great to find someone interested in it…>>135413>>135446
also agree. deep penetration rarely feels as pleasurable as that anon described. i can feel some pulsing and occasionally it will feel good, but i really need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. PIV is very overrated, IMO, in terms of actual pleasure. it can be mentally stimulating, however.
I can't say for everyone else but like, I wouldn't trust a man with my nudes
unfortunately society still shits on woman who exposes her body if it ever get on the web sooooo
Nah asexuality isn't a fake tumblr sexuality. People have been talking about it since long before tumblr sjw stuff. Andy Warhol was rumored to be asexual. I
I think it's real but it should be kind of a last resort diagnosis, especially these days. it can take a long time to develop a sexuality and people can have low/no libido for many reasons.
An extremely low or non existent libido, or just not liking sex is a real thing. Could be physical, psychological, just a personality trait, doesn't really matter, obviously there are people who just don't want to have sex. Asexuality is a special snowflake label though, and trying to obfuscate the definition of a sexual orientation to include things other than gay/straight/bi is obnoxious.
I guess it's just semantics but there's no doubt most people who use the label asexual are usually SJW genderspecial tumblrinas. Like, the sort of idiots who came up with 'gray asexual', asexuals who occasionally experience sexual attraction… aka by definition not a asexual. If you want to retain dignity and not be so limited by such dumbassery that you need to come up with new labels to accommodate every change in your sex drive, I'd refrain from using it.
>>135933>people don't take it seriously bc the term originated from tumblr
are you joking? tumblr could popularize it, but not come up with it as it's existed forever as >>135935
Idk if it´s true but I´ve read before that it´s scientifically proven like 1-2% of the world population is asexual. Maybe worth looking into if the scientific confirmation of asexuality is a real thing gives you piece of mind.
My own thoughts: If you don't like sex, you don't like it. It doesn't matter if that technically makes you asexual or not.
I've heard people describe asexuality as it's own spectrum where some masturbate, some don't at all, some are sexually active just for the sake of their partner and others are lifelong virgins. Those people all exist and it's just a matter of whether you want to use the label I guess.
I got married years ago with the understanding that me and my partner would never have sex and we didn't for those few years, I was happy signing up for no sex forever. I do masturbate. When my marriage ended (for other reasons) I ended up in a relationship where the guy believed sex was vital to a relationship. I really regret trying to keep that relationship alive by having sex. I could probably apply the asexuality label to myself but I'm just not a fan of labelling it.
hmm maybe I could've worded that differently but yes, thinking of hot scenarios/ppl I think are hot is included in what I try to do without porn. When I said focus on myself, I meant that more as focus by myself, in my own head with my own scenarios without porn.
For now I'm just trying to chill out I know if I focus too hard on the goal of cumming it's not happening. Guess I'm just really bummed out by it
got it. thanks for clearing it up. i thought you meant you were trying to literally think of yourself or think of nothing.
still, have you tried supplementing a fantasy with a photo or non porn video? i find it easier than just using my imagination alone
I feel this, too. Only it never felt like air, but it feels like his dick is pushing on your anus from inside. Which it probably is. I feel this when I insert my finger and feel my cervix as well. >>136652
I do this to my bf. I fucking love sucking his dick tho so ymmv
If you mean taking the whole thing at once, I dont think it's common. That's a lot to take in and his balls might even slip out a lot unless he has a small dick but even then I dont think that's common.
If you mean like switching between balls and dick then yes that is common. I personally find it fun if he has good hygiene. It gives it an extra sensitive feeling on top of the blowjob from what I was told. If you arent into it dont force yourself to do it.
Its an underrated spot.I found that most guys don't even consider their other body parts.
If your bf like the kisses try giving them a squeeze too.
Do you ever worry that having sex out of duty or like you said 'as a chore' will catch up with you mentally and be damaging in the long run?
I feel the same way about sex but did it to please partners, I feel awful now looking back at those times. I see people, even therapists saying it's pretty common for asexuals to do that but my experience with it is that many years in it lead to a breakdown. I didn't see how much it weighed on me. I did it to avoid a lifetime of being single but having sex you don't want just seems so obviously unhealthy.
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Wtf is this shitty ass photo of uncooked chicken penis.
I went from barely taking the head in my mouth to fully six inches with minimal gagging from repeated sessions.
You just gotta practice a lot. Your gag will desensitize over time. Make sure your partner is actually patient and not expecting to face fuck you or it will ruin it. Make sure you're actually aroused and into blowjobs or it'll feel like a chore and put you through unnecessary discomfort.
Dont eat a big meal before bjs obv. And dont feel pressured to deep throat if you're not down that day sometimes the head being stimulated is enough. You can use your hand to stroke the base of him while you suck the head and itll give you length limit before you gag. Your hand will help gauge how deep youre able to go before gagging and he still gets pleasure from the stroking. With repeated sessions ver time you'll notice you can take without gagging.
I have a question; do any of you have any experience with men trying to learn about women's sexuality/pleasure without having to ask them to do it? I remember when I got with my first bf and I would sit for hours and hours and read about how to give blowjobs/watch tutorials etc (which apparently worked bc I remember him complimenting me a lot), but I've never been with a man that seems to know what they're doing at all. After kissing for two minutes, they will go on to touching me really hard or go straight to dry finger banging. I always have to direct them and tell them what to do, and even then it's mostly meh. They don't seem to know that even though they're hard and ready to go, most girls need at least some foreplay and warming up before anything major happens. My theory is that the men I've been with have seen too much porn and have never received any constructive criticism from their previous partners. And of course we all, women and men, have different preferences when it comes to touching and oral, but the general notion of being gentle and careful with someones genitals during the first 10 minutes of foreplay at least, seems to be completely missing from the partners I've been with. It's been dawning on me recently and im honestly bitter about how men seems to lack any sort of interest when it comes to how pleasuring women works/learning the basics and different techniques. I hope most of you don't sit with the same feelings as me, because it sucks, but I´m interested to hear about your thoughts on this.
your virginity is as big of a deal as you want it to be. for some people, it's highly valued and for others, it didn't meant anything at all.
think of why you want to lose your virginity. is it truly what you want right now, and are willing to deal with potential consequences (if any) of losing your virginity in the future?
think of why you took that pledge in the first place and see if your ideals still match. if they don't, that's okay. people change.>be me at 8 years old>promise my mother i'd never get tattoos multiple times>10 years later, gets a tattoo
i'd say, if you truly want it, go for it. just make sure you use proper protection - don't risk pregnancy.
Sex is how humans perpetuate, it's how we keep existing. We literally wouldn't exist without it, something as natural as that can't possibly be bad or wrong. There's nothing to feel guilty about. Don't let something as abstract as virginity keep you from doing what you want.
In any case you can choose to let go of the pledge even if you decide to not lose your virginity right now, and instead wait until you feel ready to have sex, because it seems like the pledge thing is weighing on you unnecessarily.
That's what I'd do if I were you, I would abandon the pledge by heart, but I would also wait until I have fully come to terms with sex and gotten over the guilt before losing the v card. You can just be a normal virgin waiting for the right time, with no pledge tying you down.
I have a similar drive (once or twice a month) my relationships always end around the 2 year mark and that's usually the cause. Also interested in seeing if anyone has advice or suggestions
If I date a 'patient' guy he usually loses all patience a couple years in, if I force myself to have sex more often I usually am the one having a breakdown 2 years in. What other options are there?
Hey Anon, I am in a similar situation. I am attracted to my boyfriend, we have been together for almost 4 years. When we first started going out, we would have sex at the drop of a hat, but now I find myself less sexual than ever. I have been getting yeast infections because I cannot get wet enough and that adds to me not wanting to be intimate. I am sort of upset about it, because I enjoy being with my partner and I could never imagine being with anyone else and I want to feel desire for him. Thankfully, he does not have that big of a self drive so I am not "restricting" his sexual expression.
I thought it could have something to do with my IUD or something, but I do not want to go on hormonal birth control and I need to use some sort of contraception.
When we are intimate, foreplay does not really work on me, i usually get off from penetration. I stopped masturbating almost completely too.
Such is life.
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I couldn't find a better thread, I hope posting in here is okay.
Girls, am I doomed? Will I be a virgin forever?
I recently got a cute gf.. the trick is she has a history of genital herpes.
She never hid it from me and I decided to get into a relationship with her either way, cause I didn't really think herpes could be that bad.
But yesterday I read up on it.. to know how to prepare and jesus, will I be a virgin forever? It said it can be transmitted even when in dormient phase. Wtf.
I'm honestly freaked out by it now.
She takes care of it, she says it's painful and doesn't wish it on anybody. So she will probably understand my hesitations.. but right now I'm even scared of touching her with my hands.
If we were straight, I would probably just use a condom. But thinking of oral sex with a dental dam forever sounds.. disappointing in the least.
Am I overreacting? Can someone with history of knowledge of herpes help me out or call me out if I'm being too judgmental? Thanks.
You will get answers from two kind of people here.
1) the ones that have herpes and will tell you how "common it is, -insert percentage here-, it's not that bad, you probably even have it too but it's dormant! don't worry anon!"
2) the lucky ones that don't have it (like you and me) that will tell you to RUN. You are right with it being contagious even in the dormant stage. And btw you can get herpes on your mouth, eyes etc if you go down on her. Imagine walking around with genital herpes in your mouth? jesus. I knew a guy who had it in the uni and he would get terrible wounds around his whole mouth.
I was worried about having herpes and my gynecologist told me it's very common and most of the times barely any issue. In the end it turned out I dont have it but I'd trust what the doctor says here, it's not just people with herpes trying to make themselves feel better but scientifically a really common thing to have.
Still, if anon's girlfriend has the super-problematic
symptoms, i'd be super reluctant too….
OP here, isn't HSV-1 the one you get around your mouth? She has the painful one on her genitals so I'm pretty sure it's HSV-2…
Honestly anons I feel so hopeless now, this whole thing made me upset for the whole day and I'm acting distant with her now. >>139686
this anon types like a troll but really made me reconsider.. . >>139696
You anon are truly my only hope left.. I wish more people with it would comment and tell me their experiences. I'm actually considering just catching it and living with it at this point.
Not all herpes are made equal though, genital herpes isn't that common at all compared to other types of herpes.
For example, if you ever got chickenpox as a kid, then you have herpes, just not the genital type. If you ever got cold sores, then you also have herpes, just not the genital type.
I think that's where the misconception comes from, because yeah, most people have some form of the herpes virus, but most have the types that cause cold sores, chickenpox, or even mononucleosis, not the genital type.
- I can't tell you what to do, just telling you my experience. So, when I contracted herpes (HSV-2) around 10 years ago, I had a fever and other symptoms but I also had a cut and an infection in my vagina from the rape so it's unclear what caused the fever. In the first few years, I had outbreaks circa twice a year and I even had them around the vaginal opening, which wasn't pleasant at all but felt pretty much like a UTI. Nowadays, I only get them when I'm otherwise sick (I guess when my immune system is already fighting off something else) and it's no longer around the vaginal opening but always on the upper left side of my mons pubis. It doesn't exactly look nice but it doesn't really bother me other than that.
I've had regular sex with three people since I caught it. I'm still in contact with two of them, whom I even had unprotected (no condom) sex with. Of course, they all knew about the fact that I have herpes and we didn't have sex when I had sores. None of them have caught it. But I've read that you can contract herpes and never show symptoms, so who knows?
That said, I've read stories online about people who've had it worse than me. I mean, I would definitely prefer not to have it, the worst part is the shame and feeling so dirty and tainted. Especially having contracted it the way I did.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for what happened to you, I can't imagine being reminded of it too in such a way.
As comes to me, I think I'll ask her to speak to her gyn to get some medical advice about this.. it' the only thing I can do to be honest.