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File: 1526175210308.jpg (178.58 KB, 1242x2208, af2e142.jpg)

No. 82463

Share your experiences, advice, tips.
What was your cringiest story? Have you had a successful interaction? Do you think dating apps are worth the effort?

No. 82472

Clever image.

On topic, though, none of my conversations seem to go anywhere in online dating. Just hellos and we don't share interests and silence.

No. 82474

when i told my male friend i wanted to try using tinder he told most people are on it for sex and not really looking for a serious relationship. he had just broken up with a girl he met there so i'm inclined to believe him

No. 82475

Tinder is awful and a terrible way to meet people. I hated it when I used it. Guys are demanding and cheesy. Things guys actually said to me:

>are you a catfish because you’re too beautiful to be real

>your smile is what I’ve been looking for
>I’m actually further than my profile says, but you’re worth the distance

Gag me.

No. 82477

i have a kind of funny story about tinder.

>use tinder browsing for guys since OKC is full of sjw trash

>like really "cute" boys rather than manly guys
>most dudes are meh/just want sex
>okay guy pops up and we both swipe
>have a pretty good chat, he lives around me, into similar stuff
>decide to meet up for coffee
>as soon as i get there, realize something is wrong
>the person is a girl, not a dude
>ask if she put male by mistake
>tells me she is ~~genderfluid~~
>tells me she has two profiles one for man and one for woman
>proceeds to tell me she feels like a woman today, but it's okay because she's pan and we can have a les/het relationship
>nope the fuck out of there and get really annoyed because my profile says cis only on it
>fast forward a few months later with new boyfriend (who originally was only looking for casual sex)
>somehow get to talking about the girl
>he apparently met her as well when she was on her girl profile
>she told him that he made her feel like a man when she was with him cause he looks like an uke
>said she would only do gay shit with him no PIV
>he gets annoyed and nopes the fuck out

it was really fucking awkward and really hilarious as well and to this day i still almost don't believe that this chick somehow pulled a bait and switch about her gender to both me and my boyfriend!

No. 82478

File: 1526191690973.jpg (37.46 KB, 500x405, spjsk.jpg)

I don't know if this makes me sound dated, but when I was single, one of my OkCupid conversations got legit meme'd. It humored me that some guy thought my banter was so funny he had to share it on plebbit and 4chan.
That was one of my only good memories with the dating app.

As for the bad memories…
I dated and had a few short term boyfriends from OkC, but nobody ever stuck. More often than not, I attracted crazy men. Worst of all, they'd sound completely normal–and looked it too–until I'd meet them in person.
I have stories for you:
1. One guy was a super narcissist and led me on with hot-and-cold tactics that were abusive until I finally told him to fuck off for not taking me seriously. He berated me mercilessly on all my social media for rejecting him and not tolerating his shit anymore.

2. Another guy looked way different than in his photos. He showed up to my place with a pack of beer and intended to get drunk and fuck me. He tried getting me to drink asking 'truth or dare' types of questions, and when I refused further he eventually just started forcing himself on me until I fucked him just so I could get him to go away. The sex was awful and he was gross. At the time I thought I deserved it for not meeting in a public place. I secretly consider that rape but never told a soul and ghosted that guy completely.

3. A guy from my college campus got in touch with me and said he wanted to meet. He was well-liked on campus and was doing student teaching. We hooked up twice and chatted on and off amicably. He invited me over for another visit, but during that time he seemed emotionally unhinged and told me he did something "stupid with a girl." Like he was trying to rally my support and sympathy, but wouldn't elaborate on what it is he had done. Later, I found out he had been sexually engaging with students from the high schools he was placed at and was incarcerated. He's currently serving jail and listed as a sex offender. This implies he sought me out because I wore lolita at the time. Let that skeeve you out.

I'd also have guys lose their collective shit at me because I didn't respond to every "Hey" message in my inbox, or couldn't respond to their messages within 5 minutes. I got pelted with verbal abuses about my appearance and personality even though moments before they gave me compliments. They DEMANDED my attention and reprimanded me if I didn't give it. Like the world's most thinly veiled sour grapes!
Lots of men on there seemed eager to fuck me but very few were interested in legit conversation. I was constantly paranoid of being used for sex, and in some cases, I was 100% correct.

That said, every guy I've dated through 'normie' means (meeting via work, school, public) have been way better than those who I met through an app. Even my current bf who I've been dating for four years I met at a party.

No. 82479

Anon, you were raped. There's nothing to consider here. I hope the guy rots in hell. I am so sorry

No. 82480

>secretly consider that rape
Well yeah, that’s what that was.

No. 82481

Thanks for the validation.

That went down a few years before consent discussions really took off in mainstream media.
Had I been honest about it at the time I'm positive locals would have faulted me for inviting the dude over and not explicitly saying no, and after all I didn't say no so it wouldn't have been rape.
I'd have just had buyer's remorse.

And just to give you an idea of how backwards my hometown was: That aforementioned narc? I fell asleep for a nap one day and didn't respond to his text message immediately. He got agitated and called my parent's house phone and threatened our lives in a voicemail. My parents called the cops but the cops refused to investigate because they determined it to be a "lover's quarrel," and my parents went with that because they blamed me for it happening. That shit wouldn't fly today.

So glad I don't live in that area anymore.

No. 82482

Anyone else find it incredibly depressing to browse people on dating apps? Feels like I'm shopping for something. I can never really get anywhere with them.

No. 82483

Have only been on two tinder dates since I got the app a year ago.
First guy was nice, though a little clingy. He waited until our second date to tell me he has a kid. I cut contact after that.

Second guy is everything I have ever wanted in a guy. Interesting, smart but not smug about it, kind, funny, outgoing, quirky in a cute way, and we share hobbies/interests. Only problem is he never really texts me since we went out on our first date. I get one or two messages a day, and he leaves me on read constantly. Every weekend he has asked me out, and so far (we've had three dates now) he seems super interested when we meet in person. He has never tried anything sexual, and we haven't even kissed; but he tries to get to know me and shows genuine interest in what I say.
Last time we went out was last Thursday and he hasn't texted me again since then. So I impulsively deleted his number, because this shit is driving insecure-me crazy ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

No. 82484

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I made a tinder recently actually. All my friends have it and insisted I try it at least once. I have only one dude I swiped right on lol. We have nearly everything in common and have been having talking for like two months now. We talk about meeting and how we want to hang out once we can but I'm keeping an arms length emotionally. He's definitely someone I could be with, but I know how it is, so I don't really expect anything and don't really want to start. I don't think it's worth putting in the effort if it's for a real relationship, especially with ghosting being normal nowadays. My friends think it's insane I've kept up talking to the same dude for "so long" without meeting or him dropping off since they go on dates up to three times a week just to get let down. Idk how they do the whole cycle on a regular basis. I personally couldn't handle it and wouldn't want to waste my time so much.

No. 82487

Yes. But for me it's more like, I see those - mostly - ugly incel-tier mugs and I feel so sad for myself and for them as well. Like I look down on them but it makes me feel bad, because I know it's not fair, they're often writing very genuine bios etc but all I can see is they're so ugly I can't even consider them.
Dissonance was such a pain I stopped using okc. Also I was bored and tired of it, I chatted with people from other countries mostly, and our only perspective was talking for few days until one stops responding.
I'm left with many screens of funny/cringey convos though so that's nice lol

Never tried tinder, it scared me they want my facebook, phone number and everything and I uninstalled. Idk people say it's mostly for hookup where I live, which I'm not down for. However pretentious OKC could be, fuckboys were more stealthy there I guess, people seemed serious about dating.

No. 82491

Yes, it's actually really miserable and confronting imo. As in, it makes me seriously consider my standards, how shallow I might be, what I deserve in a person vs what I'm hoping for, etc. I don't enjoy 'rejecting' so many people in a row, it makes me feel like a shitty person and full of myself, but jesus christ most men look so unappealing when you're scrolling through a bunch of them. It's more obvious on apps than real life that they don't put effort into their looks, they use the most unclear and unflattering photos and look older than they are. I can't judge my own appearance very accurately but at least I do my best to look decent.

No. 82492

>fuckboys were more stealthy there I guess
It was simple as fuck to weed them out though.
>create fake profile for a girl in your area
>make it raunchy fuckbait, upload body photos found on internet
>nothing of substance filled out in profile so as to entice vapid males
>see which males respond to the bait profile
>see if they're the same ones who reply to your real profile
There's even bonus entertainment to see if they're the types who simply copy & paste their messages they've sent to other women. Or try to seem really invested in you while knowing they're messaging the same thing to the fake profile.
Interesting shit, I tell ya. I didn't expect some guys to be that way but I'm glad I did it at the time for the fact.

No. 82505

Have you posted this story before? I can swear I remember it.
That said, sorry it turned out that way, anon.

No. 82506

I completely agree. Half of men's photos are blurry, out of focus, or just really crap shots up their noses while sitting at a desk.

No. 82507

Don't forget the gross pictures of them shirtless and flexing their muscles.

No. 82509

You probably did, I rant a lot anonymously and it wouldn't surprise me that some stories overlap into different threads. Thanks though.

No. 82513

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I've tried Tinder once, uninstalled it right away.

It's not only full of fuckboys, but all those fuckboys are extremely boring. I don't even know who bothers with Tinder anymore, it's basically a quick hookup app at this point. It feels like an uninspired meat desk full of guys who are "fitness instructors" and "entrepreneurs" who "love hiking and the outdoors" and apparently have a friend with a dog they can all take a picture with. Most of them try too hard to be funny and stick to the same old formula they got off of some male echochamber like r/Tinder or /fit/. Try talking to one of these men and they'll all be vapid, boring sacks of shit who are very obviously just looking to pump and dump you.

I've had better luck sitting on the internet and playing video games. I'm totally serious, at least the few greasy NEETs had something interesting to say every once in a while.

No. 82517

I tried Tinder back in 2014.

I met up with one guy after speaking to a few of them. We met in a bar but he lived down the street from it and it was hard to talk to each other and I think he could pick up on my nervousness and invited me back to his. We had already been talking for 2 weeks so this didn't seem strange I also knew I wasn't going to sleep with him on the first date so if it got sketch I could leave (I drove up and parked my car on the same street, I wasn't going to drink which he knew. I also told my Mum. I was 24 lol). I had weed on me and we had a few smokes and watched a film. We made out but I headed home when his roommates came back from the bar.

We met up one more time and I took him to a favourite spot of mine. I had recently gotten out of a very long term relationship and hadn't had proper sex in years (me and my ex were essentially turned asexual towards each other lol). We were getting pretty hot and heavy and he licked me out. He then tried to stick his dick in me and I asked if he had a condom because I didn't. He said he didn't. I told him to get off then, he was nice enough about it. On the drive back to his he started asking me details about my family. My Dad owns a successful business and he put 2 and 2 together and figured it out. He then started telling me about his large family and how they all have money problems and he wishes he could help them (he worked part time in a hotel bar). He asked me what it was like growing up rich and I had to break the news that my father walked out on me when I was 10.This was when he started making his millions, shockingly he left my mother for a younger woman, who would have thought!? we have a relationship now but he's not going to be buying me a pony anytime soon to right his wrongs. Anyway, on the way back I went through a drive thru because I was high af and hungry, so was he. He didn't have any money on him, but I didn't realise at the time. We both ordered at the window and his order was ridiculous. At the register he told me I could fit the bill, I mean I had just drove him about all night why not spend more money on fuel for him? He just turned me the complete wrong way. It was years ago so I can't remember everything clearly, but it was really gross and off putting how he changed when he found out I may come from money. And then to tell me about his families private money problems as if I was going to get my dad to fix it.

I dropped him home and deleted the app after that, he sent a few texts but I ignored them. He sent one final one saying "I get it." Oh yea and just remembered he gushed on and on about his ex (who was in one of his tinder profile pics) and it was just like… ok? He was no where near hot enough to think a rich woman was going to take care of him and his mess of a family.

No. 82533

I recently signed up to tinder because since leaving uni the pool of guys has dried up a little and I wanted to expand my horizons.

I'm already sick of it. I'm tired of the expectation that we meet and fuck. I said I was looking to get to know somebody before considering a relationship and yet people still swipe and talk to me with the expectation that we hook up within 24 hours.

I'm mad that friendzoning became a meme because I'm a girl that likes to be friends with a guy before considering a relationship yet they all assume it's over if I suggest hanging out platonically or just chatting.

What's the alternative to this bullshit nowadays?

No. 82534

I met my bf on tinder, and we are just approaching our 3 year anniversary. The first time he messaged me and I could barely hold a conversation with him (I was new to the online dating scene) When he messaged me originally he was pooping. The second time he messaged me, he was also pooping while looking through his tinder messages. he saw me, remembered he last talked to me while pooping and the struck up another convo with me. i asked him out for coffee and 3 years later, we have our own place and are proud parents of a cat and snake! I will definitely tell the tinder pooping story at our wedding some day

No. 82536

You can maybe join a club of some sort and meet people there ? At least they will share an interest with you right from the start.

There's always alternatives to technologies we didn't have before, good luck anon !

No. 82540

That's far better than a distant shot of them in ski gear or something, I want to actually see a clear shot of what they look like.

No. 82542

>love hiking and the outdoors
Oh my god, what the FUCK is it with men online and hiking? 99% of men on the internet love it even though I've met barely anyone who likes it irl. I often see it used to justify not wanting fat girls. Like, "I live an active lifestyle and I need a girl who can keep up on hikes!". Not saying there's anything wrong with wanting a fit girl but just admit it instead of pretending to love hiking so much it dictates your taste in women.

No. 82547

imo it means they don't have any real regular hobbies so they think of things that they enjoy doing a few times a year and put that as their hobby. girls also put traveling and hiking a lot despite rarely doing either for this same reason

No. 82548

lol true, that's why I put hiking, I could hardly put "browse anon boards to trash talk people all day"

No. 82563

File: 1526258190562.jpg (2.25 MB, 2011x2000, mybrain2smal.jpg)

I tried using tinder for about 8 months last year and finally gave it up, thank god.

Like >>82478 I seemed to attract a lot of crazy dudes, even though I tried to be pretty picky with swiping. I've been in two relationships with guys I met on tinder and both of them turned out to be really fucking scary. I also went on a couple dates with this completely normal guy in between aforementioned awful relationships and I had a good time with him, but I was so fucked up from what had happened from the first one I think I scared him, though that was not the explanation he gave. He was super sweet about the rejection, though, and we're friends on social media and interact occasionally.

I'm not sure if I was just unwittingly tolerating crazy behavior because I didn't have a good frame of reference for what relationships are supposed to be like, or if it was because I had a hard time saying no so guys who pushed my boundaries by asking for my number or snapchat or asking to meet up, so pushy guys got through to me the easiest.

Honestly, I'm never going to use another dating app ever again in my life. I know this was a boring post because I didn't really go into detail but it fucked me up and it's harder to talk about than I realized.

I believe I was coerced into sex with the first dude, and I finally got out of the second relationship after I stopped believing that he was going to kill himself if I left him.

Pic is something the second boyfriend sent me kek he hated women so much and loved browsing pol. I immediately called him out because the outsiders was written by SE Hinton when she was A TEENAGER! a teenage girl! My life became all about little victories like that and I fucking hated it.

No. 82570

i had met with three in the past couple of years on that app.

1. First guy seemed interested in me for about a month and claimed he was looking for a relationship. we even added each other on social media after we met. something bad life-related thing happened to me and guy said he would support me and help me get through a problem. The very next day, he ghosted and blocked my social media and every form of communication. found out through a mutual friend that he was seeing multiple girls on tinder and doing the same thing. also discovered that he chose another girl the day i got blocked. the girl he chose eventually got pregnant and abandoned by him as of now. definitely dodged a bullet there

2. Another 'looking for relationship' guy. This guy was, personality-wise, my type. But, he was average looking and intimidated by me. Even after we matched he would get nervous speaking to me in person. We communicated with each other mainly through messenger almost every day. I never went on official dates with him except for meeting him on campus (we went to the same college). This went on for almost two years. We ended up becoming good friends. until a year ago, he told me he was seriously pursuing another girl. i didn't mind that and wished him good luck! he cut contact with me after becoming this girl's bf. haven't heard back from him in a year since.

3. Matched with a semi-well known youtuber with a couple of million subscribers. It was his real Tinder profile and everything. Unfortunately, he never responded back to my messages :(

No. 82571

*matched and mostly met

No. 82572

I've been using OkCupid for a while now and actually met my last boyfriend on it who I ended up dating for about a year. I like it better than Tinder and similar apps because I feel I can get a better idea of what the person is like and what their values are. However since my ex and I broke up a year ago I haven't been able to find anyone I'm interested in. Most of the messages I receive are super low effort and while I've come across some decent profiles, there's always inevitably some dealbreaker (them wanting kids is a big one). I know part of it is my fault for being picky as hell but it gets depressing after a while.

No. 82574

i'm raging a few of these are my honest to god favorite movies.

i'm just a sucker for movies where the main character starts out miserable due to being an insignificant cog in a corrupt machine and then snaps and starts living for themselves and determining the course of their own lives and is willing to risk it all for that independence. it's not my fault that main character is usually male. does anyone know any movies like that with female leads? there's so many movies with that basic character arc and i love to identify with it and live vicariously through it lol

No. 82581

Iktf anon, OkCupid got really shitty out of nowhere

No. 82582

>women don't connect as strongly with hyper masculine main characters who dominate entire movies as well as men do
>women's roles are often trivialized and ridiculed in these movies
>"women just don't get it bro"

truly ~shocking~ I must say

No. 82584

Holy Crap I didn't realize it until you said it but all the "I love the outdoors/mountains/keep up on hikes" crap is 100% code for no fatties. I always got annoyed reading that (despite my 19 BMI) because I don't like physical exercise and outdoor shit. Wonder if they realize you can have lazy (or ill, I am both) skinny girls too

No. 82587

My bad dating experiences are equally shared across real-life meetings (work, bar) and online sites, meaning forums and dating sites. All different types of guys too. I'm aware it takes two to tango, the first meetings were often enjoyable but bearing in mind effort expended = result + weird bad things that happened afterwards = bad

After each date and each (short) relationship, I got more and more put off, (see: all you guys' experiences for reference) but instead of repeating that, I will list annoying and interesting things about the behavior of guys on the platform(s) itself.

Specific memorable things:
>Guy who looked like Jeremy Irons. Sent a copypasta message. Viewed profile. As soon as he saw I viewed the profile I got a message with his (large) dicc measurement. I ignored.
>VERY attractive guy who just had a hookup profile feat: his face and his dicc. Kept getting the profile deleted, remaking it, and viewing and messaging me every time. Also apparently also had a huge dicc. Ignored
>The guy who negged me when I updated my profile with a shorter haircut (other pic had extensions). Blocked.
>The trans boy who (this was many years ago and I was naïve to these issues) who I thought would appreciate a message from me saying I guessed they were a girl. (I thought this was a great compliment). Catfight ensued, had to block.
>My friend and housemate separately dating and being really keen on guys who'd messaged me and I'd totally ignored (both guys were big letdowns for my friends in different ways)
>The guy who said I can pay for his drinks because "he's a feminist". I am not a feminist myself so he was just being a jerk.
>Saw one person (a trans woman) I recognised ON LOLCOW many years after the fact. I guess they kept cycling through the same photos. (it was bumped a few months ago)
>The guy who called me while drunk a whole year after attaining my number on chat but never meeting. Called me by my fake psuedonym name which is how I knew where he got the number

General annoying things:
>Guys messaging you with specific dates and times to meet (usually within the next 12 hours) without discussing with you first. Sometimes after days or weeks of silence. Ignored
>Guys getting upset when you don't reply within the hour
>See also: trying/hassling for phone number or chat apps "I don't know how to use this, let's move to _____"
>Nice looking guys who are extremely extremely dull. I think it is because they've had nice lives without challenge. Usually blonde guys were like this.
>Decent young guys who are too immature to meet but seem alright otherwise
>Guys randomly telling you they just came back from holiday
>People asking for your location and job within the first few messages when you didn't ask him.
>"Any plans for the weekend?"
>Fuccbois pretending they want relationships
>Guys who go WAY TOO FAR for the lay. You wouldn't believe the lengths some of these guys would go. It's honestly baffling
>Shitty generic profiles
>Profiles that only mention what THEY want which is always hella specific
>No alt guys
>Any slightly alt guys were ex escorts, in poly relationships or into Weird Shit which they went into great detail about on their profiles

Nice things: 1000s of "likes" from unknown sources bc I'm not paying for a subscription
-All the guys who had nice intelligent conversations with me including about sci-fi and AI/robots
Topless shirt guys who actually have personalities. I chatted to a few of these but you can't trust a topless pic guy
-If you go on there during "celebration days" e.g christmas, new year, etc you get tons of messages wishing you happy Christmas etc. Men are also most active on these times (presumably because they have some time off work and remember they're single/relatives remind them)

I spent a long time on these sites but hardly ever agreed to meet, and the few I DID meet were, well, see intro. It just got worse and worse

No. 82588

Kek yeah it bothers me too, I do indoor sports so the way people glorify the outdoors as a paragon of physical activity and health is annoying. I sure as fuck don't consider excessive sun exposure beneficial to my looks or health.

Plus my body is mediocre and I know that my frequent exercise means jack shit if my body doesn't reflect the fit and toned body they're angling for in reality.

No. 83499

Someone knows/has tried any dating apps like these but for lesbians/bi-women?

Basically somewhere where you can focus on dating women, bonus points if they have some kind of system so dudes can't bother you at all.

I know this is lulzcow and I'm probably wasting my time for asking about lezzie stuff but hey, can't blame a girl for trying.

No. 83508

The app Her is pretty active even in my shitty small town. There's a few trannies but I haven't encountered any obvious dudes or couples.

No. 83611

I originally joined OkCupid to make new friends. I was so lonely since all of my friends were busy in college and I dropped out because I wanted to move out of my parent's house ASAP.

I found two people through OkCupid, one is my most recent ex and the other is my current boyfriend who I've been dating for over 3 years.
My ex was the worst person. I had an intensely traumatic experience with them. I dated them for almost two years.
I'm honestly surprised I found my boyfriend on the same site a few months after I broke it off with my ex, who is a million times better than my ex.

I think the most successful thing I have to say with dating websites is don't be serious and treat your profile like a joke you want to show off to your friends. That'll give your potential partner the true and genuine you right off the bat. Anybody who doesn't understand it isn't worth it.

When my ex messaged me, I was serious. I laid out every "interesting" thing the profile asked me and it was really generic.
I was literally role playing as Charles Barkley when my boyfriend messaged me for the first time.

No. 83621

My one real date was some guy I met on tinder who was a grad student and seemed fairly compatible with me. He paid for my dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant and then tried hooking up with me. I left and he ghosted. Oh well. Otherwise I used it mostly to get free food from dates. There was one guy who I actually saw multiple times. Wonder what happened to him.

You need to make plans and see each other in person. I don't get people who want to talk for ages and then are surprised nothing happens.

No. 83633

>Otherwise I used it mostly to get free food from dates
I don't get people who do this. Nevermind the lack of character, why seat through a date knowing you have no intentions of taking it further?

No. 83634

they literally just said they do it for the free food, what more of an excuse do you need

No. 83635

Yeah but it's not like guys take you to the fanciest places on first dates ime, it's just ain't worth it unless you're homeless or a cunt. I definitely get the idea behind it tho, was only amazed at the shamelessness of it all.

No. 83637

I get why they do it, but I personally cannot stand bad dates and no dinner is worth the displeasure of someone's company when I find them annoying/awkward.

Then again I have money so I don't need anyone paying for my food to begin with.

No. 83638

Yes exactly, I think the awkwardness that radiates off the average man on a date is not worth it for the chance of freebies

Also I feel really guilty if guys buy me stuff. Mostly guys have bought me drinks and when I'm busy/happy I don't think about money so I forget to pay them back. I will usually pay for most of my stuff and then forget the last drink I had or whatever

The money thing I hate so much, I wish just hanging out in parks or libraries or something were considered to be acceptable dates. Just want to get to know someone without racking up a tab in the background

No. 83651

Sometimes guys do. I read about a guy who took his date to Nobu. She ordered a super expensive bottle of champagne while he was in the bathroom, like $100. He still wanted to ask her out on another date.

I never ordered anything extravagant, and I always provided guys with my attention for the entire time. I feel like that's what guys pay for female attention.

I didn't mind it. I like talking to people in general, and I've had some fun stories. I had a decent amount of money then, but I wanted to eat out more without paying that much.

No. 83655

I had Tinder for like a week then deleted it, earlier this year. I put on my bio that it takes me a while to trust people and open up to them. To also keep things respectful, this weeded out a lot of crappy guys :) even the guys that wanted a hook up were respectful about it apart from one.
I usually didn't swipe on guys that had shirtless pics, a drink in their hand, unflattering angles, their height in their bio or anything relating to sex maybe that helped too.

I only met up with one guy and went out with him for a couple of months! It was an overall good experience even though it didn't end well (he started to ignore me, until he told me the truth eventually). I didn't expect much really, but he was like my ideal guy patient, funny, caring (when we were dating at least), not pushy/perverted or controlling and didn't mind me being shy/awkward. I made like two platonic friends from Tinder as well though we don't talk anymore.

Yeah a lot of the guys are on there for sex, but you'll never know what's out there. I felt bad for rejecting guys especially ones that super liked me.

No. 83656

What was the truth? I’m curious

No. 83657

He said he couldn't care about me anymore because he had visa issues.

No. 83791

My issue is that I'm really photogenic and look better in pics than IRL. Yes it sounds ridiculous. But I look a lot thinner in my pics than IRL, and I'm paranoid if I meet up with a guy he'll be grossed out and shit. What do I doooo

No. 83794

Ha. I have the exact opposite issue. I look like a balloon in all pictures. I might really be one is what scares me.

No. 83810

Hah, same! I feel like I unintentionally catfish because I'm skinny from the ribs up but I'm so chubby in more important areas. My reverse camera has a filter you literally cannot remove that smooths out your skin, and my skin literally goes from hideous and nice depending on lighting. I tend to use slightly ugly pics and unflattering full body shots to lower expectations. No idea if it works.

No. 83878


Came into this thread to ask about this same thing…

What if you don't have Facebook? I thought you needed an account to use the HER app, but I don't want to give in to the zucc.

I found OKC very frustrating because it's full of Justin Bieber baby dykes, SJWs, and the worst part, couples looking for a third. They always make the profile under the girl so they can get the drop on you when you ask not to be seen by heterosexuals.

No. 84119

I've got an afternoon park date with a real qt I met on Tinder. Any advice? I've never had a real date off tinder before and he's really good looking (chatted a bunch on instagram) and I don't want to screw it up

No. 84126

Park date sounds weird, make sure you research cafes and bars in the area to go to as well (or if there are places to get food/drink I'm the park)

I find I get bored unless there's something to do or see. Or you can bring something for you both to eat+drink with you/go to the shop with them before the park.

I really like sitting in the park drinking something, but without the distraction of food+drink I go on people-watch mode and can't relax as much.
Also doesn't really matter if they are cute or not, personality is everything so focus on that

No. 84311

Does anyone feel weird if you run into people from tinder? At the mall or event etc. Like any kind of guy whether you went on a few dates or only exchanged a few messages and ghosted each other. Or sometimes I worry that I’ll match with a friend of my previous match and then they’ll start to talk about me. Or maybe they’ll argue because guy friends don’t date the same girl or some other social rule. I worry I’m going to be like “that hoe from tinder who matched with my whole peer group”. I’m probably looking into it too much lol.

No. 84363

Using Tinder now because OkC is literally trying to be a more complex Tinder. (Sad since I was more comfortable messaging people without liking them, now I'm forced to like Tinder.) I also got curious and decided to spend the $14 for Tinder Gold to see who likes me and look for matches in different locations. Seeing that I have at the moment 200+ guys who like me makes it easier for me to choose who to match with along with the usual swipe right/left. Once I go back to school, I'll probably pay for it again since I'll get more results because I'll be near a city.

Despite knowing who likes me (or the types of guys who likes me) I have yet to go on a date from my matches since either the convos go nowhere or those who just want a lay… I'll remain hopeful for the rest of the month while my Tinder Gold sub lasts to find a nice date.

No. 84371

My first date with my bf was ice cream and the park, we got the ice cream first and then went to the park, walked around it and sat on the swings for hours telling stories. I agree with the other anon to get some sort of food or drink so you have a bit of an ice breaker, and if conversation goes well then initiate a walk around the park. If there is a river or anything you can go down by it and skip rocks or something…
I’ve always found parks a nice first date spot because there are things to explore together!
Getting food or a drink is kind of the warm up, if the date goes bad you can leave when ur all done eating!
Don’t over think it anon, just be yourself and relax and have fun!

No. 84514

File: 1528410637681.jpg (42.43 KB, 480x642, 1526774470044.jpg)

>Johnny got his gun
Literal communist propaganda
What an atrocious list, a breakup was too good for him
Should have hanged him instead.

No. 84524

File: 1528419445950.png (138.92 KB, 300x350, 1496371823789.png)

Met my ex on OkCupid. We were together 5 years. Relationship was 2/10 overall.

>lies to me for months about his interests, goals for the future, and essentially who he is as a person

>drops the act almost immediately after we declare ourselves official
>we still have enough in common that I stick it out and try to make things work
>he's completely unsupportive of me, never wants to spend time together, refuses to communicate and blames all of the relationship issues on me
>we have a dead bedroom, which apparently is entirely my fault too, even though I'm the only one trying to come up with ways to spice things up
>he'd "redpilled," so I'm expected to do all the cooking and cleaning, conform to gender roles 24/7, and am sure to be reminded that "women have always had it way easier than men" if I ever complain
>eventually convince him to start going to therapy with me
>we're barely three months in before he flips shit and dumps me out of nowhere
>starts bringing around some slut he met on /pol/ before I'm even moved out of the apartment
>it's been two days since we broke up
>claims it's not a rebound, but also totally wasn't cheating on me and/or planning to get with her after breaking up with me
>lmao okay pal
>find out later they only lasted a month and don't even talk now
>dude's almost 30 and still spending all his free time in 4chan discords complaining about how women and society are against white men
>i'm in the best relationship of my life and we fuck every day

Before meeting my current bf, I gave tinder a shot for a couple of months. Ended up going out with a dude who attempted BDSM-play with me literally 20 minutes into the date. Another dude was nice, but clearly unstable and not actually interested in anything long-term.

Long story short, I don't think normal people use dating apps. At best, you can expect meaningless, consensual sex out of them.

No. 84553

used a japanese dating site and tinder.

met my 2 ex bfs from tinder. they were super weird. I broke up with them shortly

dating site

only guys who wants sex or doesn't show up

thinking about doing a dating app break

No. 84579

I'm too shy to get to know a guy 'irl' and live in such a remote area that there are literally only a handful of guys on tinder and bumble who live close to me… Fuck my life.

No. 84600

It feels so weird making up some bland profile thing that I see everywhere. My interests are bland/niche on the dating sites and no one talks about anything I want to. It all feels so fake.

No. 84966

Why are men so god awful at taking/picking photos of themselves? I see a lot of profiles where they look like a completely different person in each photo, some being hideous and some being cute. They really need to step their selfie game up and stop using (presumably) old or inaccurate photos. I'm so disinclined to actually meet anyone in case they look more like the ugly photos.

No. 84973

Usually they only slightly resemble their photos, not necessarily worse, just different. Most use set photo ideas: Someone else's dog/pet/child to look "kind", sporty pic, pic in a suit, holiday pic. They are maybe all from different times as he tries to fill the quota. Older men tend to use 5 year old pics as if nothing has changed.
I wouldn't take the photos too seriously and just focus on the dialogue between you both.

No. 85030

lol it makes them seem clueless about what's attractive in a man, big turnoff for me. I like guys who know how to take a good photo of themselves because it means they have some idea of how to be hot and might not mind being a little objectified. As long as it's not some male instathot level shit.

I'd rather a guy be a little on the arrogant/vain side than the type to stumble around all 'is this ok? what about this?'

No. 85079

I just spent the last two weeks testing the waters on Tinder/OkCupid and it was so disappointing. I don't know what other girl's profiles look like, but are they all this formulaic as well?

Picture of them:

>In a suit

>Doing some sort of extreme/adrenaline sport
>Rock climbing
>Posing with a dog (ALL OF THEM)
>Ex-girlfriend cropped out (poorly)
>In a group so you can't tell which one they are
>In a foreign country so you know they like travelling
>Poorly lit front-camera selfie from below
*BONUS >Pic of them playing an instrument

Then more than half of these have no bio or it just says "Like what you see? Message me." Ughhhh.

No. 85081

so many guys never take photos of themselves. ive seen many men on tinder whose only photos are ones that were obviously taken by an ex girlfriend and they just crop her out or zoom in

No. 85100

From what I hear, girls profiles are just as formulaic (https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/5vxmtu/what_are_you_sick_of_seeing_in_womens_profiles_on/). Men seem to adapt to what girls like to the point it turns into a cliche ("I only swiped right for your dog" -> overemphasis on their dog, something about wanting a guy over 6ft -> "6'2 because apparently that matters").

I think most people are just basic as fuck and it's extremely evident when you're swiping through loads of them at a time. Too bad I hate all the extreme, outdoorsy sports every man claims to like and don't give a shit about anyone's pets but mine.

No. 85164

I don't mean to discourage you, but I met a total qt online and met him irl and he was missing teeth and had a face full of acne, really put me off online dating

No. 85210


No. 85264

>Too bad I hate all the extreme, outdoorsy sports every man claims to like and don't give a shit about anyone's pets but mine.

Ugh, same! I'm not into that and I feel like most of the guys who post that aren't into it either. Just be a normal fucking person with an actual personality, I'm not gonna swipe right on someone if I think their lifestyle is much more active than my own anyway.

Lmao! What do people think is gonna happen when they do this? I once heard that you should use pics that are actually slightly less attractive than you are in real life, but I guess that doesn't work as well for men since there's so much competition.

No. 85275

how do you take good photos of your self? im a girl but i never take selfies or anything since im so unphotogenic. i think ive only taken a cute photo of myself one time my entire life and i had to put the dog filter from snapchat over it

No. 85285

>i never take selfies or anything
How do you expect to learn without taking selfies? You don't magically get good at it, you practice it like any other skill.

No. 85684

I met a dude on tinder a few weeks ago. He was average but cute. We had very similar interests and hit it off I think! So we added another on different social media. We talked for like a week straight. I was really OTD happy about it and honestly I probably fucked it up because I got too clingy to the point that I am embarrassed even thinking about it. I kind of rushed into trying to learn more about him, asking a lot of questions. And I was way too forward with talking him how much I liked him. I wasn't trying to dive into a relationship, but I really complimented him way too much and came off as way to happy. I have really bad abandonment issues so I didn't want him to ghost me. But I messed it up by being too desperate. :/

We met IRL once but I felt like it was very awkward and I felt like he hated me. But directly afterward he texts me that it was fun?

Fuck…..anyway he randomly stopped reading and responding after a week so guess that's that. He's not offline either. I think he just ghosted me? I don't get why he still follows me though. Feels bad. I feel really embarrassed. I have really really bad attachment issues and I hate how clingy I am when I meet someone I think likes me.

No. 85697

Men you have to play mind games with aren't worth it, anon. I get that there's a line (mentioning marriage in the first few dates), but being curious about a guy and saying you like him shouldn't be a huge turn off. It's a compliment!

Men that "love the chase" are to be left for women who also enjoy those games, since chances are you'll never be compatible. It's nothing wrong with you, you're just forward and blunt. There are definitely men out there who would appreciate that.

No. 85699


I am exactly like you anon and I can speak from experience that a right person (who's into you as much as you are into them) will not find you needy or clingy. Instead of playing retarded games, you will get to know each other. Unless you are spamming them while they ignore you or propose on the first date there is nothing wrong with you. Your eagerness might seem like a curse at the moment but trust me, it's a great gift. It will pull in the right one and make less serious people fuck off (interested in ONS etc).

No. 86217

I met my ex on OkCupid. We were together for about four years. We were extremely compatible but he was immature.

I've only used Tinder briefly. I mentioned an artist in my profile (I wanted to find people who liked similar stuff) and pretty much every guy who messaged me said "wow, I've never known anyone else who knows them". They all seemed like they mythologize women and treat them like shit. I just want a nice person who likes the same stuff as me.

No. 86221

Many people on tinder use it for a quick fuck so that was probably a retarded way they used to try and fuck you and they probably didn't care that much about you or your interest. If you're looking for a genuine relationship I would say skip tinder.

No. 86255

at the beginning don't be too clingy.

No. 86265

Is super liking a guy creepy if you seem to have interests in common? I heard that some girls are put off by it, but dating apps are harder for guys so maybe they'd be flattered??

No. 86268

Idk what you’re even saying? Of course it’s fine to be interested in someone based on similar interests just dont be a creep

No. 86341

>have 0 friends
>live alone

Is it even worth it or am I gonna be murdered? Anyone signed up for Tinder in a similar situation?

No. 86359

I meant the super like function on Tinder instead of just swiping right

No. 86834

I'm texting with a guy for 1 month now.
Everyday two or more messages. we called once.
He ignores my questions sometimes. He often reads my messages but doesn't answer
Today I've called him and he was weird because his "friend" died. So after 1 minute i hung up.
2 hours later he texted me "yeah because his friend died and he is busy with a lot of things he can't write and he will write again when he got more time"
sounds like bullshit to me
smells like excuses.. I'm thinking about deleting him
what do you think?

No. 86837

>barely talks to you
>leaves you on read
>giving you excuses

stop tolerating him and find someone else that'll cherish your time.

No. 86838

thank you
we wrote everyday a few times but I deleted him

No. 86852

>I don't even know who bothers with Tinder anymore, it's basically a quick hookup app at this point.

Tinder has and always will be a "quick hookup app." What ever gave you girls the impression otherwise?

t. male interloper(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 86861

Recently matched with a guy and we met up right away to see a movie since I had mentioned not seeing it. I've been talking to this other guy but he wasn't in town so I thought it wouldn't be bad. Obviously we didn't converse a lot and he wasn't as talkative in person.
The other day he sends me a snap "went on a date with a girl who hasn't texted me back feels bad" and I wasn't sure how to respond so just said "don't worry there's plenty of girls"
Next day I realized he unfriended me on snapchat. I'm still confused because even though I hadn't gotten around to plan another date in ~2 weeks we still snapped each other so I didn't think he was referring to me but maybe he was?

No. 86862

Dating apps suck because every single one of them is designed to present the women to the men to sort through instead of allowing users to match with each other based on any kind of meaningful criteria.

When's the last time any woman signed up for a dating app that didn't make you swipe yes/no for every single guy before it let you see anyone else? Exactly. Then the search feature filters are usually hidden behind a paywall so you can't even filter out guys you know you aren't interested in (location/ethnicity/etc).

Every dating app is designed to show men as money women as possible while throttling the women's ability to pick and choose without paying for it. Bumble, the "dating app for women" isn't much better, the only difference between that and Tinder is that the women have to take the first move and hardly any men use it who aren't already too passive to message women first.

No. 86866

I've had a few plans to meet guys after matching but only two or three made it to irl meeting before I ghosted all of them.
First guy is a embarrassing memory bc I was really into him and he had a cheapass phone thus never messaging which made me feel like shit. I thought it was romantic that our first meeting at starbucks he brought roses but looking at it now I just cringe. The worst part was we both worked in the same chain of grocery stores so all my supervisors knew who he was. It was funny because not long after I ghosted him, one of my supervisors told me he left to go back to his hometown they all just go "What did you do to make him leave??"

The second guy was weirder in person but I didn't say much, thought it was odd he never offered to pay for the small food we would first get. Second meetup we went back to my apartment, watched some anime and then hooked up which is still my only experience. I stopped before 3rd base though, he went to jack off in my bathroom and left. He texted me a week later and I never responded. What really sucked was he would regularly shop at the store I worked at and I would literally drop whatever I was doing and go hide because I was so embarrassed.
So moral of my stories, don't date people who live close to where you work when you work in retail.

No. 86871

File: 1530500916082.jpeg (139.91 KB, 500x387, 7E048227-051B-43CE-AE98-0D76DF…)

im new to posting so please don’t yell at me too much lol

I’m 24 years old and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve been with guys but I’ve never been given the title of girlfriend and I’m super scared I never will. I held out on trying to find a relationship after being strung along for a 3rd time. I held out for almost 2 years when my friend out of the blue convinced me to redownload dating apps with her and scout for cute boys. I was reluctant yet bored so I downloaded tinder and bumble. I didn’t really use tinder a lot because I just get automatic bad vibes from that app so I focused all o my attention on bumble. Since I wasn’t taking it seriously I started asking stupid questions to whatever cute guys I matched with to see if they’d respond to the stupidity and I was shocked to find that most did. Including the guy that I’m talking too atm. Since I wasn’t taking him seriously I wasn’t nervous texting him or afraid of what to type next so the convo flowed smoothly. He asked me if I had. a snap but I didn’t give it to him because fuck these niggas and their clout lol. (I gave it to him later lol) while I was in the br my friend took it upon herself to post a random photo of pornstars fucking and because I was so embarrassed I deleted our whole text convo including his number but I forgot to block him. So he ends up responding with a funny joke and I apologize profusely. Much to my surprise he kept taldking to me which I found kinda cute. He keeps insisting that we meet up soon and I suggest we go bowling since he’s only gone once as a child. Again I wasn’t taking him serious I was just passing time. So the day comes for us to hang out and I completely flake on him because I was getting my hair done and I found out he lives in a completely different county. When I told him I couldn’t make it he seemed genuinely sad and I felt really bad so I rescheduled for 2 days later which we did end up meeting. He was so sweet even though I was like 3 hrs late (longer story) and when we went bowling he asked me questions about myself and my life and he genuinely seemed interested in getting to know me which is something I never experienced (sad I know lol). He was also super fine and fit and had a beautiful smile after the date we go back to his place to watch a movie but of course we end up making out instead. He was such a good. kisser. Luckily I had my period so we only made out but I ended up sleeping over because he lives so far away. He kissed me goodbye and he ended up driving out of his way to see me like 2 days later. Fast forward to now and he still is the sweetest guy I’ve ever talked to but we never see each other and he has moved back home with his parents because they are divorcing and I know he’s busy with work but he legit never makes time for me. And if he does it’s weeks down the line because he has a huge group of friends who he hangs out with every weekend and he works all week. Which is totally understandable but it sucks. And on top of that I told him what my feelings for him are and while he agreed to feeling the same why he said that he is super indecisive and it took him a whole year to ask out his first girlfriend because he’s just bad at making decisions or whatever. Which is cute but I don’t have a year to wait I’m only getting older. The next time we hang out I plan on telling him that I don’t want to be strung along anymore. But I’m scared of what he might say. Should I just be patient and be myself or should I rip the bandaid off and give him an ultimatum? Sorry this is so long btw

No. 86872

Sorry for my spelling mistakes it’s hard to type this stuff on a phone 😂

No. 86876

I know this is a fast reply but I clicked your sailor moon on image on the main page haha.
I'm in exactly the same situation! I'm 25 now and have never had one either. I was strung along for three years by someone who I stupidly was in love with and who treated me so badly. Other than him the only guys I ever like just want to hook up or are legit horrible to me or don't care about me.
I met someone recently too but I'm too scared to hook up with him because I'm afraid it will be the same way. It seems no matter what they say or do in the beginning it's impossible to predict. And this guy has talked to me in the sweetest way unlike anyone has ever before but I still expect it to end horribly. I actually felt so weird about it and how things were happening because its never worked like this for me before and so suddenly and it makes me nervous.
I should follow my own advice but if I were you I'd keep him on the back burner and still keep in contact while trying to talk to other people too, just in case. I guess that's what I'm trying to do in a way anyway.

No. 86880

I downloaded Tinder recently and I'm surprised. It feels too easy? Too good to be true? I'm mainly looking for a relationship but don't know if I can resist the temptation with all these cute guys.

No. 86881


You both just need to be more up front with what you want. If you want a relationship with the guy, say so. If you're scared of being lead on, then hold out on sex. If he doesn't make it official or at least hint at it before he starts pushing to fuck, he's a flake.

Guys are easy to read when you stop focusing on yourself and your insecurities, it sounds simole because it is. You know that corny saying that if you thing negative thoughts, negative shit will happen? It's got some truth to it. If you approach the guy you're interested in like you're his dream girl, he will respond to it. This guy obviously wants something from you, if he was willing to put up with a 3 hoir delay and travel to another county to see you, and asking you questions about yourself is a good sign too. Ask him what he's looking for and if he wants a GF, and if he says anything along the lines of "try it out/see what happens", drop him. Guys will say this shit when they want to lead you into bed hoping you'll think it will lead to a relationship, but if a guy wants to fuck you before getting involved with you then thats all he wants anyway.

No. 86883

>I want a relationship
>I downloaded Tinder

The robot upthread was right, Tinder is for hookups. Thats why the premise is swiping instead of matchinf based on common interests. Tinder is 100% superficial.

No. 86884

Ok, but I'm not against some fun either. It just feels too good to be true.

No. 86885

I wasn't trying to hate, anon, I just hate seeing girls go starry eyed over Tinder fuckbois who break their hearts by leading them on. Its fine to have fun, but dont go chasing hookups expecting a happily ever after. If it seems too good to be true, something's probably up. Just guard yourself is all!

No. 86900

Used a dating website that only exists in my country a few years ago. I got two dates out of it.

First guy seemed alright but I could sense something underneath, some kind of eagerness/pride that was not entirely healthy. When I told him I didn't want to meet him again after two dates he exploded and ranted that the interesting girls never gave him a chance, that two dates were not enough to know him and that I owed him another one. He had told me that he had ditched many girls after first date because they were not cute/interesting enough and that I was special (another red flag), so I countered with 'how about all those girls you didn't give a chance to?' That effectively shut it up. TL;DR the guy was borderline redpill/PUA fan and riddled with insecurities. I fancy I could sense it even before he got mad at being rejected.

Second guy had a lot in common with me and used dating sites because shy geek. He was educated, presented well and we got on nicely. We dated for 10 months but actually should have stayed friends, because that's mostly what we were. He was way too immature to handle a relationship, never took the lead, sulked like a kid and had massive psychological/family issues he refused to solve. He was also terribly awkward and forced himself to be humorous and sociable, which was at best painful to witness. It was so bad I started resenting him for it. I broke up with him and got cursed at by his friends (whom I had met many times) which, you know, is always nice.

After that I left the website and never returned. A year or so later Tinder became big and I tried it out of curiosity.

I got a date with a guy who would 'pay for one drink but not more'. The friend that was with him at the bar (it was a last minute meet) was nicer than him lmao. The guy I was meeting was trying to project this wealthy and manly persona but the little middle-class boy hiding behind the facade was obvious. I finished my drink asap and as I set to leave and he asked to sleep at my place because his was too far. I laughed at his face and bid goodbye to his friend.

Then I moved to another country and after swiping left on a mountain of fuckboys, incels and overall pitiful men, I found the profile of someone who had the same interests as me again. He was not the type of person I usually date (ok, he was Asian and had never dated outside of my race) but my only standard is having a unique, kind-looking face and he did so I swiped right. Well, it was a great match. We turned out to be so identical in some aspects of our personalities that we can guess why the other reacts so and solve problems before they even arise. We are on opposite sides for other things but match for the important stuff like values and long-term goals so it's all good.

We've been together for more than a year and it's awesome, all of my past relationships, stemmed from online means or otherwise, look ridiculously shit in comparison. You CAN find adjusted, interesting people on Tinder. You just have to accept to wade through the shit first and take a gamble here and there.

(This got so fucking long I'm so sorry.)

No. 86952

I'm second anon. I wish I could just have sex with him cause obviously everyone wants to have sex and its nice. It sucks to have to hold out just because men are dumb and won't communicate unless you communicate first. I've definitely learned my lesson though.
I always hear girls getting into relationships after being friends with benefits though, it just never happens with me. Risking it doesn't sit right with me anymore, though. And I don't know how often that actually happens.

My motto now is just not to trust anybody no matter what they do or say! You have to know someone for a while before actually getting to know them. Also "everyone is nice until they're not". Can't even follow other people's opinions about a guy you know and ask about them because I've discovered the way they treat girls is soooooo 100% different from who they are to everyone else. Every time! Just cause they're a "nice guy" doesn't mean they won't treat you like shit! Be cautious!

Like this anon and there is someone I know who has been in a long term relationship with someone she met on the app called "hot or not" which seems even trashier than tinder.

You have to make such a huge effort to protect yourself, set boundaries, drop someone as soon as there is any major red flags, etc. I get really jealous about people who get into healthy relationships so nicely and effortlessly and when guys genuinely care about them and they can be all happy and in love and have no insecurities about anything.

No. 86981

Thank you for responding I knew there were probably other people like me but still this so so reassuring. I’ve just recently redownloaded those apps but for some reason I feel guilty I know I shouldn’t cuz guys do this shot all the time. I really hope we can both find dudes who aren’t trash/leading us on cuz this is getting ridiculous haha

No. 88984

I went on tinder for the first time yesterday, matched with a guy who was already very daunting in the beginning.
He was asking a lot of questions like am I really matching him sinceriously, and well yes I do match with someone I would be interested in meeting.
Well, THIS morning he starts off with do i wanna be in a relationship with him and he keeps pestering me about how many other guys do I talk to and about how I should just quit talking to them this instant to show respect to him. If I don't answer his txt messages in 10 minutes he says that "guess you weren't actually interested in me". Now that I said that it's probably for the best that we unmatch he keeps calling me(we switched the chat to whatsapp last night because it's..easier, I guess?). I guess i'm just cutting all contact right here because it's scary to me.
I was seriously interested in dating him until this point, now it just makes me worry that he would get mad at me for having guy friends or so in the future.
I guess it's true when people say there really isn't sane people in dating apps. I did see some familiar guys there tho and chatted with them for a while but 2 days in tinder was fucking enough for me for a lifetime. 0/5 never again, gonna find a qt nerd boyfriend from video games.

No. 88988

Sounds like a lucky escape Anon

No. 89002

Sounds like a weird guy, but maybe he was just extremely socially awkward? You probably did the right thing to stop contacting him even if for just feeling weirded out, but remember this guy because there are going to be lots of other similar types. Most of the time they will be just harmless and extremely awkward guys with god awful social skills, you just need to learn to screen the awkward weirdos from dangerous weirdos.

No. 89003

nah. anon needs to screen awkward assholes. awkward guys like this who are so sure of themselves are cringy jerks. there's a difference between being awkward and passive aggressive.

No. 89072

One of my GF bestie came over the other day and said how fed up she is with tinder too. I guess since everyone uses it you get the biggest dating pool filled with worms

No. 89073

Guess you never know people until you know hiw they treat their dates :|

No. 91569

If someone has their Instagram connected to their Tinder profile, that means it's definitely the person from the Instagram right?
Cause I've recently matched with this guy who I've seen a bunch of catfishes of, but this time his real Instagram is actually in his profile. Does that mean it's legit?

No. 91575

It means he just linked that profile himself.

No. 91588

File: 1533825598944.jpg (7.14 KB, 275x275, 1532408072297.jpg)

>logs into Tinder as a lesbian
>98% of profiles are cuck couples looking for a "unicorn"
The absolute state of them

No. 91644

Noticed this myself. Gross.

No. 91655

And always the girls are pretty cute and the guys look like naked mole rats, ugh

No. 91658

Threaten to cuck them if they approach you. If anyone ever wanted me as their unicorn, I'd take the girl for casual sex. Alone. No male partner in any form. Did they think lesbian meant something else?
The girl is definitely always cute. I've thought of trying to encroach their relationships since they seem to think my sexuality is flexible. They almost always end up freaking out.

No. 91708

File: 1533910720140.jpg (71.56 KB, 960x960, 37805641_2847627732128003_5162…)

YES, all the fucking time. Also it's annoying how they purposefully try to deceive women, because they fill the profile with pictures of the girl and only in the end you see a picture of the guy or them both as a couple.
Sometimes they don't even imply it's a couple and not just a girl. One time I was chatting with a qt and we were about to set a day to meet up and then she says "Oh, and my boyfriend will come as well…" and she shows me a picture. No, I don't want to touch your ugly manlet of a boyfriend, Karen. Nobody does.

Usually the girl isn't even interested, she's just a cool girl™ meekly accepting to be cucked.

>guys setting their profile as "Women" in order to appear in lesbian searches
Are they… actually retarded?

No. 99987

Sorry to necro a thread but I’m in a online dating rut

I abandoned OK!Cupid because I thought it was a ghost town, so I went to Tinder. But almost everyone on Tinder is super fug and looks like they haven’t showered in days. Bumble has cute guys but no one replies to you. I thought about paying for Match again but I haven’t had good success on it either.

Sometimes, I wonder if my standards are too high (my mom even says so). But at the end of the day, I don’t think I’m asking for too much. Just a decently good looking guy who is nice and not a dumbass. Why is it so hard?

No. 100005

File: 1541204730369.png (31.48 KB, 641x258, 1.png)


No. 100008


where did you meet your current bf anon

No. 100010

because men are typically ugly, rude, and dumb anon

No. 100012

File: 1541215878547.jpg (6.1 KB, 181x200, lmaoooo.jpg)

>lift his ass up like those moms that lift up cars to save their trapped baby

No. 100028

The worst things tinder dicklets have said to me when I was still using that godless app (low self esteem lol. I was also in the midst of a very serious ed which always makes me roll my eyes when guys I'm friends with try to "help" me by saying "but guys don't like anorexia!", see below)
>I want you to puke in my mouth
>You're such a delicate little loli
>You're the perfect heroin-chic babe
>I could pin you down with one hand ;)
>Small girls are always tighter

I'm so glad I don't socialise with males anymore, online or irl, they're sick freaks with fetishes for controlling and injuring vulnerable women

No. 100029

jesus christ

No. 100060

jesus anon
definitely solidifies my belief that i will never want to use dating apps or sites at all

No. 100073

Wow that site is full of weird men who shitpost and pretend to be women. None of their posts are interesting or funny to boot.

No. 100083

>woman who uses the rating system unironically and considers 7/10 some kind of detriment
>gold-star but suddenly questioning and willing to fuck guys now
>confident enough to yell at the guy and move him and look at him angrily but not confident to stop the whole thing because she's clearly not into it

sounds legit guys. clearly not dreamed up by an incel who believes that women simultaneously get no pleasure out of sex but also have too high standards and will harshly reject a man for any little thing. oh wait he vaguely mentioned "decent foreplay"! so convincing

No. 100088

>after some decent foreplay I go get some lotion from the bathroom b/c we decided on a handjob

is this a thing? just giving a dude a handjob? and discussing it beforehand?

No. 100093

I thought
>questioning sexuality
Quickly followed by a very weird gross hookup story made it very clear a guy wrote it.

No. 100094

it is if you're in middle school

No. 100096

I use bumble and tinder, mostly just to fuck around and not seriously. I'm a senior in college and planning to move a ways away after I graduate, so I'm not looking for a serious relationship. I have met up with one guy from bumble and two guys from tinder over a ~1 year period.

Bumble guy:
>showed up to our first date wearing a MAGA hat
>should've left then, but free drinks so whatever
>spends the whole time talking about himself, and about politics and about how much he hates obama
>goes on a tangent about how obamacare made the price of his medication for his skin disease skyrocket, asks if I want to see his rash
>half way in says "you're not a libtard right?"
>say no, just to see how much more ridiculous shit he will say
>told him I think obama is hot and I would fuck him just to see his reaction (keep in mind I am pretty damn drunk at this point)
>he says waiiiit…. you've never fucked a black dude right?
>no (not bc i'm a racist fuck, just never have lmao)
>he says good, race mixing is disgusting and I fucking hate n*ers
>too far, I say i'm going to the bathroom and leave
>he texts me 30 mins later calling me a cunt, cocktease, fat, ugly, etc. and I never reply
>I internet stalked him and found his alt right twitter account
>6 months later he texts me at 2 am asking to hook up

tinder guys were both chill, one of them I still hook up with occasionally lol. overall I like tinder better because you don't have to send the first message, but the guys are grosser

No. 100101

I second this question.

No. 100129

i feel bad for laughing but man what a ride.

No. 100132

I always thought dudes only cared about getting laid, but I guess recruiting for their cult is more important to them than sex even.

No. 100133

It's this scrot making the rounds on the board again

No. 100188

>tfw wanting to hook up with someone but don't want to have my face plastered on an app
>also the fear that if i did, the person i meet up with would think i look either better or worse in my pictures
>or someone i know would find me on the app
the struggles of wanting to remain anonymous

No. 100196

File: 1541444547483.gif (1.77 MB, 275x207, lel.gif)

No. 100201

File: 1541447586518.jpg (83.14 KB, 1080x577, DCXkhOVVwAAs-Kb.jpg)

i wanna do online dating, but i'm a lecturer at a university. i'm only a couple of years older than the students.

i dread the idea of one of them finding me on OKC or similar and showing the profile to others in the department.

on the other hand, i'd really like to meet someone. it'd be great to meet someone the old-fashioned way through work or friends, but everyone i interact with at work is older and married and my friends are all in relationships and generally only mingle with other couples. any other anons in this situation? how do you work with it?

No. 100202

I believe both OKC and Tinder have features where you can approve who sees your profile. Like on Tinder you'll only appear to people you've already swiped right on. You have to pay extra for those features though.

No. 109055

Any dating website/app for girls looking for ONLY for girls?

No. 109056

Her, but troons are sadly allowed.

No. 109063

y'all remember me??? this dude just texted me AGAIN inviting me to a WEDDING

No. 109066

No. 109067

I uhhh met my boyfriend on okc. I feel like it was a freak accident we met, and actually clicked enough to get this far.

The majority of guys on there are a fucking joke and every time my irl female friends talk about maybe checking out the online dating scene I go to make a horrible joke about how they're all kissless virgins and misogynists or trans """""lesbians""""", but someone beats me to the punch by saying "they're all software engineers", and they immediately understand and we all laugh. My bf is great but I hate where we live tbqh.

At least it wasn't something like:
(guy made it out to be a surprise date, but he took her to his gran's funeral…)

No. 109083

The common trash meet each other on okcupid and then have the audacity to call out other people on there as if they're any better. How cute.

No. 109086

Go bungee jumping and ask for drew.

No. 109092

i get stupidly anxious about texting people over these apps. i'm generally fine in person and want to hurry and get to the meeting part but i get so fucking weird and put off by texting strangers. i also get bored by it. at the same time i don't like to hurriedly jump to a date because i often don't like the people i meet… any tips for relaxing and just being chill about texting? i feel dread sometimes when i get a reply notif. i fucking hate texting and idk why.

No. 109117

I feel the same actually. I have succesfully gotten a bunch of tinder dates but it's stressful, it's a stranger whose expression and reactions you can't see.

No. 109141

>bored on tinder, swipe right on a preppy looking guy
>first contact is ok, we talk a little about our interests, turns out he's a closet weeb
>joke around that's the reason he swiped right on me (I had purple hair and dressed in alternative fashion)
>he lived in a rich area, but I didn't give any thought
>also a neet, that should've been the first red flag
>few days later, I get sick as fuck
>he texts me and offers to drive me to the doctor since I lived on my own
>was too feverish to think straight, give him my address
>turns out cuter in person, he drives me to the doctor, makes sure I get home ok
>we talk a bit more, says he really wanted to hug me but he was too shy
>when I get better we go on a date, always super nice with me
>we kiss on the way back and I invite him over
>I was slightly drunk so fuck it, let's have sex
>he doesn't want to
>proceeds to tell me his ex still lives with him and she'd be mad
>weird but ok
>next day he texts me asking if I work on "name" street
>what the hell, it's a few streets away where I actually work
>get mad at him and tell him he could just ask
>turns out he somehow figured my schedule and followed me the day before
>I'm still dumb and go on a second date
>he brings out he can be a NEET because his parents are damn rich
>he's also catholic as fuck
>confesses me he wanted to turn me into a good girl and he picked the most "satanic" girl on tinder for it
>fuck you I wasn't even a goth
>nope the fuck out of it and threaten to call the police if I ever see him following me
>never hear from him again

It's a shame because he was really cute but he wasn't worth it. Funny thing, I met my boyfriend on tinder too, and while he's not that good looking, he's sane and sweet.

No. 109144

You should go and report back on how he treats you in front of wedding guests. I'm sorry, that just sounds like it will be a hilarious experience.

No. 109154

this was a wild ride, anon.

No. 109209

He probably invited every woman in his contacts list so he doesn't look pathetic to his family at yet another gathering. If it's a nice wedding with lots of food it might be worth the annoyance. Maybe he has a cute cousin or something.

No. 112198

File: 1554053515058.jpg (186.85 KB, 1125x1716, IMG_9928.jpg)

Guys on dating apps are so fucking boring and are more normie than I even thought was possible. Like, I'm not that weird but they're like the personification of a saltine.

Guy's profile said if he could have one superpower it would be time travel so I asked to the past or future.
>Accident Greece

No sense of humor… dear god

No. 112204

Half of them are completely retarded and incapable of any sort of an intriguing conversation. I never met up with anyone but I remember talking to some guys who would respond with "nothin, just chilling alone on a friday night" or simply "ya lol."

Like great, keep giving me reasons to dread talking to you since you're so fucking boring. I swear that the claim about women being better at reading people is 100% spot on.

No. 112208

>Accident Greece
Fuck, I’m dying.
Dating apps are seriously a fucking chore for me because of this. Sure, it sucks for guys to barely get matches but having to sift through hundreds of cookie-cutter profiles of men who share nothing in common with you or lack any substance isn’t fun and it’s dispiriting in its own way. The majority of these men end up not actually being that interested in you to continue a conversation or to exchange numbers because they mass swipe. This whole swiping shit is just cancer really.

No. 112210

File: 1554067568805.jpg (28.34 KB, 424x240, bestopener.jpg)

I COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOU MORE. I have dated a few normies resulting in me feeling no attraction with them.
I made it a rule for myself to be the first one to message as most of these Normans can't think of any fun questions aside from something similar to "Heyyy what are you doing?".

Guess it doesn't help that I love weeb shit and vidya lol.

My only regret was never getting with this Chad who actually sent me pic related as an actual message lol!!

No. 112217

anon, this is husband material right here and you let him go!

No. 112229

>when you put on your profile that you appreciate when a guy starts a real convo and messages something more than just 'hi' and it weeds out all the retards who clearly didn't care to read your profile
All the dudes with shirtless profile pics are the most beyond generic and boring.

No. 112243

I've been on a few Tinder dates and even managed to meet some interesting people, except meeting one fuckboy who ended up breaking my heart (but that's a lame story).

Last year, I met my current bf on Tinder. Both mid to end 20s, he's a few years older. I only logged onto Tinder for lols when hungover at this point and hadn't been swiping right on anyone for about three months since meeting my last fuckbuddy, until I saw my bfs profile. He was cute looking, my type (and I didn't even think I had one) and his profile was short though surprisingly intriguing. I waited for two weeks to swipe right on him, since I expected we'd match and I was about to move to a city nearby.

We matched, I initiated contact by asking about if the crazy cool maine coon in one of his pictures was his. We instantly clicked, we were both surprised.

The first date was a bit awkward, we went back to my place and had sex though. I initiated it, which caught him off guard, no problem though, the sex was 10/10.

The second date was awesome, we stayed up all night drinking beer and talking about music, politics and life in general.

It's been two years since my last, abusive relationship. It's been one and a half year since his last, also abusive relationship. I'm glad to say there's been no red flags, we share the same values and goals in life. When there's conflict, we always manage to communicate and work it out at the end of the day. We never go to bed angry and at least for me, this has not really been the case in past relationships. I've never met a guy this loving and understanding.

I didn't expect to find a man like this on Tinder. I do see a future with him. We've been together officially for 4 months and plan on moving to the capitol of my country together within this year (with our four cats; he has two male and I have two female cats), to start a life together.

Tinder dating has been a wild ride and I did not expect anything like this to come of it but I'm looking forward to the future even more now.

No. 112245

It’s nice to hear that you found a meaningful, loving relationship out of a dating app. Thanks for sharing.

No. 112376

I met my current boyfriend (almost a year so far) on tinder. I joined tinder because I was mostly bored and lonely and wanted to chat with people. Didn’t meet anyone besides him on there, he was the first person I met with. I guess I had too high expectations for tinder but it ended up working out thankfully (wasn’t looking for a fling or a hook up, but I stated that on my profile) . I think you can 100% find a meaningful or long term partner you just have to weed out guys looking for hookups or just idiots but there’s definitely nice guys available as well.

No. 112431

I hate online dating. I had 2000 likes on tinder, matched with a few and maybe only 5 people sent a message?!

No. 112435

Same problem I'm running into except I'm on Bumble. My free Bumble Boost trial shows that I likely have 1000+ likes but very rarely do people I end up matching with even message me back. Plus, there are too many generic or blank profiles. It's a goddamn chore and I'm sick of writing well-thought-out messages showing clear interest in my matches only to get ignored. I only put up with it because it's better than nothing.

No. 112439

Glad I‘m not alone

No. 112511

File: 1554426996096.jpeg (193.82 KB, 1125x1204, 02DE8460-1930-491A-93C1-5EECA0…)

More bumble normie cringe

No. 112521

File: 1554433174006.png (30.8 KB, 481x513, CUb9eaxUwAAYF82.png)

Can be applied to any other dating app.

A quote from or any mention The Office can be interchangeable with the Anchorman quote.
Same goes for "your mom will love me" with any mention of their mother in their profile; and "will only be in PLACE for X AMOUNT OF TIME" for "NY>LA>>>>".

No. 112522

Don't forget hiking, favoured by those with no real hobbies but can pretend their yearly bushwalk counts.

Or just a plain blank bio, or a bunch of emojis

No. 112525

Anybody else get a lot of blank profiles on Tinder or is my ELO score just low? This app is a joke.

No. 112526

My favorite dating profile staples


>self deprecation
>open relationship
>”only swiping right for your dog”
>pizza amirite
>no mirror selfies here ladies!!
>maple leaf emoji
>that cringy “review” bio
>former college athlete
>love music/food/travel as though those aren’t basic human traits that everyone has
>french exchange student (why are there so many)
>that’s not my kid it’s my nephew/brother/child i kidnapped
>pictures with African children on a mission trip
>game of thrones

No. 112545

I just saw a guy's profile who is joking that we should call him "Little Kid Lover" because that's where is priorities are at. Even if you want children, I can't help but feel sick that he's are even joking about that. I wouldn't be surprised if he's a secretly a pedo.

Also who's getting tired from guys mentioning "dank memes" in their profile? Because I am! It makes them sound less interesting than the foodie traveling Norman and so "not like other normies i post memes lol". Yeah, I go on the internet a whole lot too, but I don't shape my whole identity around memes.

No. 112546

It’s hard to find someone who isn’t a complete normie or complete manchild. I can’t help but feel that someone who mentions “dank memes” is both of those things.

No. 112547

Normies, Manchildren, and Fuckbois… The Holy Trinity of the left swipe.

No. 112550

a.k.a. 99% of Tinder

No. 112552

Don't forget "I can COOK/clean/shower" or any basic ass thing a fully adjusted human can do. Jfc.

No. 112554

"little kid lover… that way people will know exactly where my priorities are at" is a direct quote from The Office anon! he's not a pedophile, he's just basic as hell.

No. 112555

Damn I'm dumbass. At least I'm not a basic dumbass.

No. 112556

I somehow managed to make a friend through tinder! I was pleasantly surprised. I think it's because it's extremely rare that I will say yes to someone. There has to be some kind of feeling there for me to, and there has to be enough photos, an instagram synced, etc.
I started talking to this guy and he was straight up honest with what he wanted, he said he was looking for cute girls who were dtf or if not to be friends. I opted for friends and he's actually normal. I met him at a bar around like 8pm, we each had one beer, chatted, then went home after a couple hours. We still text. He's cute so maybe I'll be friends with benefits later, but I'm in a weird place emotionally right now so I'm not sure. But he isn't forcing anything. It's still early in the friendship though. He invited me to something else but cancelled. He's into music and is trying to play shows so I share things/events with him that may help.

I do want to find someone similar that I am more into. But I don't want something so serious that I want to try OkC or hinge (that I went on for a little bit) It does get depressing some days you 100% just get incels or neckbeards then other days look more hopeful (even though I still won't get anyone I say yes to). Then sometimes I'll run out of people around me.

No. 112580

I found a man who love videya and movies but hates weeb shit. He is a fucking degenerate who just wants something casual but I’m okay with this because he is literally perfect and I’m probably not in the right head space to be in a serious relationship rn.

No. 112582

I've given up on dating apps because all of the hot guys are mind numbingly dull and everyone else is ugly and dull. I just want to meet a nice hot guy who has watched something besides The Office.

No. 112584

You're a moron and so is the guy you want to fuck. Far from perfect.

No. 112585

It's clearly a situation where a scumbag is taking advantage of a woman who's going through emotional issues.

No. 112608

Do not put him on a pedestal!! He’s far from fucking perfect anon. Don’t let him take advantage of you. If you’re not in the right head space it would be best you don’t pursue any romantic/sexual relationship since you are emotionally vulnerable.

Sure it is hard, but there are qts who are into other things besides The Office (I have met and gone out with 1 and chatting up 2 atm). I understand how you feel about the 99% of dull boring guys and why you gave up.

No. 112620

I'm from Eastern Europe and so many check out, men are really the same everywhere. It lacks
>states height because THAT'S apparently important…
>poker face selfie from the low angle
All those men with picks of them drinking or trying to be funny and quirky about being useless slobs - the audacity to expect to be swept right lol enjoy your 0 matches mister

With me the case is really lame… I'm too shy to even swipe right on a guy. There's no hope for me lol

No. 112629

I live in a big city and it’s been a huge pain in the ass wading through and swiping through all the profiles around here. I’m so tempted to just buy Gold just to save some time. Someone tell me this is an awful idea.

No. 112670

I live nearby a city (at the moment for school) and plan on moving there for grad school. I’ve have bought the 6 month gold plan and have was able to go on a few dates since I know what I like and they like me back so it makes it easier than swiping on randos.
I’m planning on getting the yearly plan in a few months so if you have the cash and think you’ll be on it for a while might as well.

If it helps I get about 250-500 likes a week and about 700 from using a boost (which lasts 30 mins). However you will have to wade through whoever likes you.

No. 112680

Okay girls I need some serious advice…
So around August of last year I visited family for a few weeks and while I was there I was using tinder to score weed. I matched with this dude and when I finally met him he was super attractive I mean perfect my type. This was towards the end of my trip so I only hung out with him a total of three times but it was the most fun Id ever had with a guy, we have a lot of the same interests in movies and music but he has a weird edgy side as in he has a fucking copy of mein kampf. Honestly I don't know why I'm still thinking of him after so much time has passed, we texted for a bit after I got home but it just wasn't the same as being together in person. I'm gonna go back to that area for the summer should I hit him up again or try for someone new. The only thing that really bothers me about him is the edgy act we've experienced a lot of the same traumas growing up so it's not as concerning as it would be if he just had this out of nowhere. I think it's worth mentioning that this area is an island and this guy knows anyone thats worth knowing so that kinda makes things awkward if he decides he doesnt want to hang out again. Im so troubled over a stupid tinder fling lmao

No. 112681

I’m very particular about the type of person I may potentially want to date and I think I just might go for it if the idea doesn’t go away for me after a couple of weeks. Even if there are still hundreds of likes I may have to wade through, it still sounds like more time saved rather than swiping one-by-one. Thanks for telling me your experience using Gold.

No. 112682

scrolling through this wall of text…
>mein kampf
no, do not hang out with this dude again wtf

No. 112683

Just remember just because you’re talking to someone who likes you does not guarantee yourself a date. Sometimes you may have to steer the conversation to the date if the guy doesn’t do it first. So I was the one mostly asking guys out.

Also I’m not sure if you know this but never give a guy your number until you actually go out on the date. That way he actually messages you on the app to check up if the date is still on.

No. 112686

Yeah, I admit the insecurity I have in regards to messaging guys is one reason why I’m holding off right now. Currently, I have ~20 guys in my matches but only two have messaged me and one pretty much stopped messaging me after I replied probably because he was just mass messaging everybody. I keep having this mindset that if a guy doesn’t message me first, he’s not that interested in the first place which I get isn’t always the case and that messaging is a two-way street. Anyways, I don’t expect instant dates if I get Gold and I realize the possibility of nothing happening because of how particular I am and because people are generally flaky. I guess I need to work on my confidence before making any real investment on this.

I’ll definitely have to keep the number thing in mind too. I’ve naively given out my number a few times and while nothing bad has come out of it yet, I can get how it’s better to stick with messaging in-app first.

No. 112693

Then please don't get Gold until you work on your confidence.

It mostly because when I don't confirm a date through the app, guys would give me booty calls even if I say that I'm not interested in hooking up before I can definitely set up a date.

No. 112695

Definitely will hold it off then. Thanks for helping me reflect on this.

No. 112746

But you are right

No. 112747

Are you talking about getting bumble gold or tinder?

If it were me I would get bumble gold (or plus or whatever it is called). If you want to go out on a lot of dates, honestly the best way to go about it is to cut right to the chase and have your first message be "want to grab a drink friday?" or something like that. guys are into it and you won't have run out of things to talk about on your first date. you also won't talk for like a week until it fizzles out. and if it's on bumble, if they don't reply then the message disappears and you don't have to think about it lol

No. 112852

I tried the new Facebook dating, and jesus christ, my town is full of desperate uggos. Deleted my profile after one day.

No. 113266

tbh this is kinda charming. there's a sort of innocence that normies have that i never will so maybe i'm just envious

i mean i'd never date one but still

No. 113608

For anyone who has been successful on dating apps and actually found a long-term relationship, how much time did you spend on dating apps before you did?

No. 113631

The only dating app I have ever used was Tinder. I used it on and off from probably around 2015 - 2017. I would delete my account so whenever I came back onto it, I would have a fresh slate of people to match with (and avoid certain ones, heh). Been together with my significant other for well over a year and things are going great (though boy it was trial and error before I finally met him). My former assistant manager met his girlfriend off of it and they have been together for years!

No. 113642


I deleted my account and registered anew a few times to start over. Other dating apps like OkCupid didn't do it for me. I met three people during the course of about one year until I met my SO.

No. 113707

Does anyone use these apps but exclusively for friends? like Bumble BFF? I want to try it but I'm kinda nervous. Wondering if anyone has any experiences with that side of it.

No. 113832

I tried bumble BFF for a while and it was totally pointless, I might just live in a shitty place though

No. 114032

I used to have dating profiles just to talk shit to men who approached me. The only way it can be entertaining/fulfilling, generally.

No. 114533

I matched with a cute guy who works at a coffee shop near my house and he responded a few times but now stopped. Should I try messaging him again? Or just move on?

No. 114610


If he doesn't reply anymore, he's probably not that into you or has found someone else he prefers talking to. Don't demean yourself, move on.

No. 114688

just joined bumble. i'm barely swiping right. the ones i do swipe right and start convo with, they're absolute shit at returning convo and don't ask questions so i assume they're not interested and unmatch. i'm seeing people show up again after i've swiped left… am i running out of matches already?

No. 114693

yeah you have - you might need to widen your search unfortunately

No. 114755

This guy i went to middle school with, and haven't seen since that time period, liked me on okc. i kinda want to match and catch up, but idk if he even recognized me or takes it the wrong way or something. what would you anons do?

also, is there a way on okc to hide your profile from men? i have it hidden from straight people, but bi/queer/whatever men seem to have great trouble reading "gay" and "looking for women" and understanding what that means…

No. 114894

It would have been way easier like years ago when you can actually send messages to people who like you. Proceed with caution since he may read that you are interest in women. If you do go for it then start out that you are only interested in being friends (works more if you have "seeking friends" in your profile, despite it being a big meme because people are scared). I personally wouldn't do it since there could always be the chance that I can run into them irl and start a convo from there.

I really don't know what to tell you… It doesn't matter if you are a lesbo or not since men will try to get in anyways. It's been happening a lot on tinder with women getting matched with troons/men on either side. I guess your best bet would be to manually hide them.

No. 121624

I have like no experience on dating apps or dating in general so excuse me if I sound really retarded.

I downloaded Bumble a few days ago and matched with someone who I think I actually like. We've chatted for a few days, but I've been really busy so I only have time to send 1-2 replies per day.

No. 121625

Shit I accidentally clicked post before I could finish typing.

Anyway, I don't know how exactly you're supposed to go about messaging people on dating apps. I know that the obvious end goal is that we can eventually meet in person, but as of now I still want to get to know him a little better before I feel confident asking him to meet up. Essentially I've just been asking him questions about himself, but as I mentioned above I don't have a lot of time to reply so conversation has been moving really slow. He hasn't been asking me that many questions in return so I don't really have much to work with either. If he's not really asking me that much in conversation does that mean that he isn't really interested in me (even though he's still replying?) or am I giving off the impression that I'm not interested because I only respond once or twice per day and haven't suggested we meet up yet? Or am I just being really boring?

Also as a follow-up question how long do you usually wait from after you message someone to ask them to meet in person? Sorry again for all the questions and autism.

No. 121675

If I'm interested I reply immediately because I hate the pretend wait game people play. And by immediately I mean, as soon as I want. So of course if I'm doing something more important I won't, but if he happens to catch me just chilling and I really like him, I shoot it right back.
Add him on Facebook on talk on messenger it's much easier. If you like him be honest. It's really simple. You probably have more matches than he does, so he will be thinking the same thoughts you are. I would even go so far as to tell him you're interested if you are, the truth is surprisingly effective.

No. 121701

Any time that I found a guy was answering questions but not really asking about me it turned out that the guy was hoping for sex but playing the game of letting me lead the convo in the hopes it'd go there. (that was basically my whole experience on bumble)

It's the time when you should be wanting to know all about each other. I'd keep an eye on whether he starts asking more about you

No. 121977

File: 1566348332311.png (179.11 KB, 503x334, im in danger.png)

god i love/hate tinder
> 2017
> recovering from breakup
> Tinder matched with an older guy who has one picture with long hair, looks kind of unkempt, like an emo boy turned scruffy and old
> his first message to me is "damn girl you like an exotic caribou filled loaf"
> hmm.jpg
> but i'm lonely and bored and looking for chaos i guess
> we chat on and off, but i eventually stop using Tinder, and i move to another city
> i reinstall and open Tinder every once in a while for fun, but i don't reply to anyone because i'm awful
> he sends a message saying he lives in the same city as me now
> hmm.jpg
> at this point (almost 2 years after we matched) i have a boyfriend now, my appearance has changed quite a bit, the city is big enough where i'm not worried
> fast forward to the present
> at the subway with my boyfriend waiting for a train
> walk past a man that i got bad vibes from. i just ignore him and put my earphones in, turn towards my boyfriend
> boyfriend also immediately notices bad vibes, puts his arm around me out of instinct
> we wait 5 minutes for the train, can tell this man is staring at me from like 3 feet away
> right when the train arrives and i step up to the platform, the man suddenly approaches me and grabs my arm
> "hey, d-does this go to the city?"
> i mutter an answer, then i get the fuck away from him
> i have a bad feeling, so when i get home i check Tinder again and find his profile with new pictures
> it's the same guy.
> looks fucking awful. has blackened fucked up teeth, looks like a psycho, completely different from the shitty webcam picture he had years ago
> 4 miles away
> tfw a guy i ghosted 2 years ago recognized me in public and felt emboldened enough to grab my arm when i was clearly with my boyfriend
anyway i've unmatched with him, have no intention of using tinder ever again, and i'm moving again, so… boy bye

No. 121991

ewww men are fucking disgusting. i'm sorry that happened to you, anon. creepy af

No. 122024

>grabbing your arm

Think that was a stalk+kidnap attempt. What are the chances he'd recognize you if he wasn't looking for you?

Stay safe anon

No. 122034

I had a guy I swiped right on on tinder come into my work in the middle of the night (I’m the only person in the restaurant) (never told him where I worked) and ask me if I’d ever date or hook up with a black guy while I’m making his breakfast. Couldn’t escape, v awkward, never used tinder after that

No. 122046

jesus christ, that's terrifying

No. 122145

File: 1566695856936.jpg (50.45 KB, 720x762, NLDHDT5.jpg)

So I agreed to meet someone off a dating app for a date really soon and I'm sort of freaking out. I've never met someone in person from an app before and I'm thinking of all the ways this could go wrong, like he won't look like his picture or that we won't have anything to talk about or that it'll be unbearably awkward. The last date I went on (not from a dating app) was really awkward and horrible so I don't exactly have high hopes or any good experiences to look back on. Any advice or words of encouragement (if there even are any)?

No. 122146

Aw good luck, anon. The only advice I have is to not worry. Don’t think about scenarios or conversations to have just be present and in the moment. Your date is probably anxious, too. Don’t put too much thought into wondering if you sound interesting or if your date likes you. You need to think about if they are interested or if you even like them. Stay safe always and tell someone you trust who you are going out with just in case something bad happens

No. 122409

All what the anon said. Plus prepare mentally that they might ghost you suddenly or slowly even if you think that all went well and you really hit it off. Some guys don't mind just talking (and being friends if you don't feel the attraction), but some will have long and emotional conversations with you just to smash and run.
If you get dropped suddenly, sulk for one day if you must and then continue swiping/messaging/whatever it is that you do. Obviously don't go with them home if you don't want a ONS.

Sorry if it's obvious, but I felt like letting OP know.

No. 122413

I can't imagine sulking for only one day. Before ghosting had a name, this stuff happened to me and I sulked for a year at least.

I think go into all dating with the thought that most guys on these sites/apps think it is "press here for free sex," paying an escort for what they want might cost hundreds, but if you split the bill, it will cost him nothing.

Some anons on lolcow say they will date for three months before having sex. Maybe a good strategy, then at least it was a 3 month relationship if he ghosts after sex.

No. 122414

Also I will add: do not believe A WORD that a guy says to you. They will say and do anything for the aforementioned free sex. If your escort rate would be 500+ based on your age and appearance, they will take their scams very far.

Of course I realized this after this had happened to me. Be ready for it, don't be like me anons.

No. 122430

Yup, I'd say wait. That's how you find a decent man. Unfortunately we are tasked through sifting through a lot of garbage. I've even told a lot of potential guys I was going to go out with that I'm a virgin who doesn't like anything to do with penetration (I've experimented on my own, doesn't feel great, and it's a lot more trouble than it's worth when you add the chance of pregnancy into the mix imo), the men who were gushing over me trying to get laid fucked off pretty fast thankfully. I've been in a happy relationship for years and we have a wonderful sex life, with the kind of intimacy I don't think I could get with a guy who just cares about fuck and chuck.

No. 122437

I just had the date a few days ago and it went way better than expected. It was a little awkward, but I think we both had a good time and we're meeting up to hang out again soon. He didn't really make any advances (sexual or romantic), so I can't really tell if he's just shy, not really into me, or actually a respectful person (what are the chances though). It's a promising sign that he's not a creep at least, but I guess it's too early to tell. Anyway, I'll still keep an eye out for anything that seems suspicious. Thanks for all of the advice anons. It makes me feel a lot better reading other people's experiences, since no one I know irl uses dating apps, which makes me feel like a massive loser sometimes.

No. 122643

I met my current boyfriend on OkCupid.

>just got out of a LDR

>want to go out on dates but have had terrible experiences meeting guys IRL
>decide to try OKC since I'm familiar with it
>pay to see who likes my profile
>mostly match with people that seem okay
>half the guys that message me are either full of themselves or way too eager to meet
>a handful that seem interesting
>not interesting at all
>force myself to have boring conversations that go nowhere
>almost give up but
>two guys that I can actually talk to regularly
>one doesn't have much on his profile/only one photo, so I'm cautious when he asks me on a date
>other guy has more info so I feel better going out with him
>date night but have to reschedule because of family issues
>he immediately starts being sexual, trying to get me to see him sooner
>annoyed but not surprised
>stop talking to him
>I message first guy again later about a date, he's still interested
>go out for coffee, even more worried he'll be a creep too
>surprised by how cute he is
>end up talking for hours, even go for a walk
>agree to see each other again

We ended up going on several more dates before deciding to be exclusive. I really feel like I just got lucky though. Dating apps are really hit or miss and, most of the time, they're more trouble than they're worth.

No. 122909

so I was wondering, would it be considered rude/sketchy for me to use a fake name on tinder? hear me out. I'm a bi girl who isn't "out" and I'm from a small suburban town kinda near a big city. but i have a REALLY unique name that probably less than 10 people in my state have (thanks mom), so I'm positive that I could be outted if anyone sees my name. I know I would still need pictures of myself, but at least that has plausible deniability. i also don't have social media because of bullying in high school, so I know that would also look sketchy as fuck. i just wanna meet cute girls and not lose my social life over it :( or is it a rule usually not to out people in the closet?

No. 122922

I think it’d be fine since you have a real, understandable reason to do it. When you find a cool person and agree to go on a date just explain the situation to them.

No. 122930

If I where your date I'd call bullshit because you have pictures of yourself on there, there's no "plausible deniability" with pictures

No. 122931

nah anon, I've done the same
you gotta becareful with rape by deception laws though

No. 122972

just put something dumb that sounds like a username. I've seen it before so it shouldn't be a big deal.

No. 123171

Except there are people stealing other people’s pictures to use them on dating apps for catfish purposes all the time?

Although I agree it does look kinda sketchy if you don’t use other social media platforms and those pictures aren’t easily found online.

No. 123647

I’ve been talking to this guy now for about a week now I think. We haven’t even gotten to the topic of meeting up. I’m just kind at a loss of what I should do. Is this guy actually interested in me or is he is just looking to chat? Our conversations are full of substance at least and he initiated the conversation. I imagine I should actually ask him out soon but I’m bad at this stuff. He’s pretty cute and incredibly intelligent so I’m also having dumb self-defeating thoughts about not possibly meeting his standards which doesn’t help.

No. 123672

What kind of questions should I ask a date to evaluate whether or not he’s a good guy?

No. 123677

Facebook introduced a dating section. Has anyone tried it? also does anyone feel a little discouraged knowing that guys usually are always dating multiple girls rather than focusing on one at a time? Makes me feel like a rebound or optional. This one guy told me when you have so many options, you feel even the slightest flaw will drive you away to “seek someone better”, and eventually never settling down.

No. 123678

While the slightest flaw bullshit is true, they act like it's shopping - men also are WAY less popular than they will admit. The average man gets 2 messages a month on a dating site, maybe a handful of matches on tinder.

No. 123683

Anon's point is that men cast a wide net and pursue multiple women, making her not feel like she's being messaged due to anything special about herself.

Frankly I think if men put in more effort to send sincere and tailored messages they might fare better than two replies a month that say "hey" back.

No. 123685

I think there's a huge disparity on dating apps. There's a big Chad population of greek god looking male models who are on there getting a steady stream of women with no effort, then there's a big Virgin population of losers who get no matches. Middle of the road, well adjusted guys must just be in normal relationships with girls they met irl instead of on tinder.

No. 123788

Disagree that it's a male thing. Met a lot of women who talk to 20 guys at a time and same goes with men. One side always tries to blame the other for shit both do.

No. 123844

I think there's no good one answer that fits everybody equally
people do cast wider nets because tailoring individual messages to every single person they reach out to doesn't have the same rate of yield
just because you do spend time on someone isn't a guarantee that they will necessarily respond in the way you want
doing a mix of both isn't necessarily the answer either

And what does effort really mean? Does it mean responding right away (or within like 10-20 minutes)? Does it mean coming up with interesting things to talk about? Does it mean saying the right thing at the right time? All of them at once? Or just being yourself, which could mean literally anything?
Different women like different things, so to say "effort" is needed isn't specific enough to tailor to those specific women–after all, how are you going to know what someone likes before you get to know them?

Dating is hard, and the more people you meet, the harder it is IMO
A part of me wants to say it's easier to be sad about 1 person than 10, but it also depends on who that 1 person is vs that 10.
Did you tailor your messages to that one perfect, handsome stranger and fail? Or did you send a bunch of half assed messages to a bunch of people you just wouldn't mind getting to know?

No. 123861

i honestly think women are as guilty of this as men on dating sites

No. 123866

How shady would it be if I made a profile with just the first letter of my name?
weird or run of the mill?

No. 123871

Not weird at all. I never used to disclose my name or photos until I felt comfortable. Quite a lot of people observe this, ie professionals who may have their rep tarnished by online dating (teachers, medical staff, etc). You're in charge of your privacy and if someone doesn't respect that, then you don't have to waste each other's time.

People might accuse you of being fake or secretly a man or something but at the end of the day, you don't owe strangers on dating apps shit. Block and move on.

No. 123873

If he's still having engaging and reciprocal conversations that go beyond 'hey how r u', then he's probably interested!

Make it clear you'd be interested in getting to know him more, with scope to meet.

No. 124632

Any advice on using dating apps? Should I use hinge or tinder? I’m in a university town so there’s a lot of fish in the sea. Most of the men here are all dude bros and gym rats but I’m hoping to find a nice quiet intellectual softie. I’m also scared that people in my classes will recognize me.

No. 124634

Dating apps can be the worst thing or best thing ever. I like getting to know a person beforehand…
I met my current boyfriend of 2 years off of tinder. I was lucky. Before him, i talked to different guys and even met up with one(before meeting my boyfriend), that was weird lol. Its really a trial and error kind of thing. Most guys just want a booty call/fwb situation but there are guys out there that genuinely want a relationship. You gotta go through some trash before you find a treasure lmao

No. 124982

File: 1570676436001.jpg (66.39 KB, 620x600, 1516204514163.jpg)

It's not much of a report, but I wanna take a moment to pat myself on the back for having a bit of self respect. I feel like if the same scenario would have happened not even that long ago, my desperate ass would have let this happen. I've really gotten used to saying no, and I like saying it:
>reactivate tinder and enable discovery
>swipe on a guy who's smartly dressed and seems to be in my league
>messages me right away
>conversation ensues
>compliments me that I'm the first to have ever had a full conversation
>he's not from my city and is only here on business
>tells me he's flying out tomorrow
>desperately wants to see me either tonight or tomorrow
>tell him tomorrow is out cause I got work and interview responsibilities
>even tonight is pushing it cause I had to be up early
>begs me to see him tonight
>begs to meet up someplace
>compliments me some more
>offers to jump in his car and come all the way out to my burb to come get me
>I mean I'd like to not have to do any work, but tell him no anyway
>"I'd delete this thing tonight if I could be with you."
>apologize and say I'm weally sowwy for letting him down :sadface:
>tell him when he's back in the city for business we can plan something, how I'd love to chat more, and goodnight
>agrees and says goodnight

Haha, well, we will see about that.
The old "I'm leaving town and this is my only chance!" scamola.

No. 124988

File: 1570678872283.jpeg (35.11 KB, 479x480, 590841962c407.jpeg)

>im 26

>set age limit to 35
>someone super liked me
>35 year old, in shape CEO of some medical company
>hes very courteous, we facetime
>tells me hes actually 44 and changed his age on purpose because he wants kids and all the women in his age group "weren't up to standard and had baggage"
>we've been faceiming for a couple hours each night
>is offering to take me to the canary islands in a couple months and is actually pretty cute past the greying hair

what would you ladies do? When he told me he lied i felt a pang of anger and considered blocking him. is he too old to even consider? 18 year age gap…

No. 124989

while the idea of dating an older man seems hot, it's fucking creepy to me irl. this is a man blatantly telling you he's only into you because you're young and it's a mix of him being immature enough to not want to relate to women his own age and find them sexy, as well as him probably thinking he can control you via money and being older.

he probably also isn't looking for anything long-term and just wants a fuck buddy/sugar baby situation.

No. 124991

Ugh, gross. You're going to be 30+ too one day and suddenly you won't be good enough for guys like him, don't facilitate that shit for some old dick. He should have had kids when he was young.

No. 124992

ewww. first off, ceo means philanderer and man who believes you're already so fucking disposable, but one who obviously is seeking out comparative child brides? anyone settling for this shit is looking to have their lives destroyed by a wealthier man with way more resources, who has no genuine affinity for them and only wants to use young women.

No. 124997


Thanks ladies. I don't have friends I can be honest with so I appreciate the bluntness. I just listened to the small nagging voice in my head and blocked him.

No. 124999

nice call, anon. it's for the best. it's unlikely he would've been the exception to the rule.

No. 125003

This, and odds are he was likely married and looking for side pieces anyway.

No. 125009

So I tried using Bumble app a few months back. Never tried any dating apps what so ever before this. I thought Bumble was gonna be an okay app since it allows the ladies to make the first move and contact the guys first. I tried chatting up with a few men that posted decent profiles but the convo never lasted and I got ghosted every single time. I decided to uninstall the app after a few months of using it because I end up feeling super insecure and start thinking maybe I'm not that good looking or interesting enough or maybe I'm too old to be looking for dates on dating apps? I think it's also kinda my fault as well for putting my hopes up way too much on getting dates on dating apps because most of my friends rave about getting easy dates through dating apps. Ah well, I'll be single forever I guess since I don't even know how to get dates irl…

No. 125018

Good call anonette, he practically told you that he can't be bothered with anyone's emotions except his own and if you had a long term relationship with him he would dump you when you get old.

If you wanted to keep him around as a casual fuck then that would be one thing but you would mean accepting taking part in his power play, he probably dangles promises of expensive holidays in front of all the naive young girls. I also absolutely wouldn't go somewhere unfamiliar with someone that I couldn't trust.

Don't be so hard on yourself anon, Bumble is a good app concept but the number of guys that use it isn't so big and often the kind of guys that would use it just stick to offline ways of finding a date instead, so it's not the end of the world if you couldn't find a date on it.
Tindr is so big that any girl can get lots of dates using it but it's usually only hook-ups with cheap guys looking for a fwb, not actual dates. There are even senior citizens getting laid on tindr, but even the hottest young people can struggle to find actual caring partners through it, it's not just you.

Could you ask your friends about their online dating experiences and advice, maybe they can even have a look at your profile for you? If you're in your late twenties or older you could also try okcupid, although it's very sjw.

No. 125037

File: 1570724909897.gif (131.23 KB, 220x213, 7A169D4B-898C-4CBA-B9C3-7874D1…)

My Bumble BFF experience

>just moved to a new town, no friends here except boyfriend who moved with me

>try bumble BFF for making new friends
>get ghosted by a bunch of girls, that’s fine, expected that
>find one awesome friend with similar interests
>feeling hopeful, swipe right on a few more girls
>girl’s profile says she’s looking for a third person for her and her boyfriend but she has some common interests as me, let’s call her girl #1
>in hindsight she should have been using the bumble dating app
>swipe right, explain I’m looking for friendship and she seemed cool
>we meet, hit it off, she really likes me which I am excited about
>her bf starts texting me too, that’s cool, I could always use more friends I guess
>her bf starts telling me private stuff (e.g., describing their sex life) and telling me I’m cute and offering to take sexy cosplay pics of me
>explained to him that I was using the app to find more friends in the area
>feeling uncomfortable with him, slowly start to distance and avoid being with him alone
>but I still like her as a friend and spend more time with her
>not hard because they have completely different work schedules so I just hang with her when she’s free and he’s working
>turns out he was butthurt that I wasn’t spending as much time with him
>he finds girl #2 through a dating app to start their poly relationship
>girl #1 “dumps” me through text, explains she still wants to be friends
>thought we WERE just friends
>sure, she always complimented me and made allusions to having “fun time” but I tried to emphasize that while I like girls, I like being in a monogamous relationship with my bf
>ok I drunkenly kissed her once because I thought it would make her happy but it probably confused her
>just lost someone who I thought would be a fun platonic girl friend to cuddle and kiss when I’m drunk
>oh yeah she claimed that it was actually her writing those creepy texts her bf sent
>feeling fragile, get irrationally angry/depressed whenever she posts pics of their relationship

Tldr; had some good experiences through Bumble BFF but also had a bad one where I naively thought I could befriend someone who was just looking for a three way

No. 125060

did you tell your bf about any of this? you literally cheated on him. I'm not trying to be mean anon but jesus how are you that oblivious? and why would you not question her boyfriend telling you about their sex life and literally hitting on you? yes they should have been on the bumble dating app but they seemed pretty obvious about their intentions.

No. 125063

Im confident in my attractiveness and I still haven't gotten a proper date on bumble. It's like I'm talking to a cardboard box with these guys… Or they just ask for nudes

No. 125128

>don't have social media except fb
>reactivate tinder
>start matching
>hurr do you have snap?
>nope and I wouldn't use it if I did
>b-b-but how will I know ur real?????

Uh, gee? What did people who did online dating do before snapchat?
Just ask me for the fucking nudes so I can say no bro, there's no point in acting like SC is the only point of contact to determine someone's 'realness.'

No. 125132

My experience with Bumble was that I not only started the convos but was expected to carry them completely while never being asked any questions back

I think guys with no social skills join it thinking that women will do all the work

No. 125160

the bff side is the same too.

No. 125368

File: 1571187467002.png (112.75 KB, 253x374, madsuki.png)

So recently I noticed that I've been spending more time swiping on tinder while watching Netflix then going on actual dates. Its kind of aggravating since I have so many matches but no dates ever seem to happen. Its just texting tag and

So I had an idea. I decided to clean out all my matches and start over but with new rules and a more open mindset.

1. So I changed my swiping habits and I would swipe on good looking men and men who didn't look the best but I kept my mindset open that maybe most men are bad at taking good photos of themselves

2. I will always swipe right on anyone that super likes me

3. After I have 7 matches I must stop swiping and focus on the men who I matched with. (Use the honesty policy and put in your bio that you want to go on fun dates that you hope will lead to a relationship)

4. After I have my 7 matches I wait 3 days for them to message (If they don't message me after 3 days then message them with a simple "so what kind of date are you going to take me on?") If they don't respond with a date idea or anything after a bit of texting back and forth then focus more on the ones that actually seem more excited to the idea

5. Get their snapchat just to help confirm you are both real to each other

6. Set up a date time and make sure that its not exactly the same day you matched and have them see if they can plan dates in advance for something in a few days and not flake out last minute (if they flake out last minute then I refocus effort into someone else) Don't ever be a flake yourself otherwise your just going to attract other flakes and maybe miss an amazing opportunity or connection.

7. Go on the date and see if there is any type of chemistry there. If there isn't then be honest and straightforward to them at the end of the date about how you feel and if you would like to see them again or not. (One of my dates I became friends with and he's dating another one of my friends because he invited me to a summer barbecue and I brought her along and she and him got along very well)

8. After you have gone through those seven men and nothing seems to have developed in a meaningful way then repeat the process

I was going on 2-3 dates a week in the summer time but now that school has started I haven't had time to go on as many.
The best advice I can give for tinder is have no expectations and be open to meeting people new people. Sometimes mingling with people from tinder can make new connections that can lead you to find someone in a more natural way for a relationship if they like to do social gatherings. Thats my advice if you want more dates out of the tinder experience.

No. 125480

These are really good tips. Thanks anon!

No. 125483

File: 1571339463800.jpg (646.75 KB, 2057x1536, 1570676916272.jpg)

I live in a country that's known for beautiful women and not-so-beautiful men (basically, my phenotype makes women a bit more conventionally attractive, while making males quite unfortunate looking), but I thought that's just bullshit. I've played with tinder for a bit but most men were meh looking, bald, fat, fuckboys, etc. and I assumed that's the case everywhere. But few months ago I went on a short vacation to a different country and I've decided to do some swiping just for shits and giggles. And holy fuck. The men were SO MUCH better looking. Ugly guys were a rarity, and men were much more eager to meet up, or they at least attempted to have a conversation with me instead of expecting me to ask all the questions and be enthusiastic about their favourite football teams. I've even started to date one of the guys I met on there and we are meeting quite regularly. He thinks of himself as "average-looking", and he told me he would barely get any matches, so I've decided to do a little "experiment" and I made a fake profil with his pics in my country. As you could guess, he got so many matches with girls better looking than me. It made me feel a little insecure lol, so I didn't tell him about it.
Did anyone have similar experience?

No. 125484

Any tips for somebody without any experience?

I've never dated and also don't think that I will meet somebody organically, so I decided that this probably my only chance . Is tinder a bad idea? Are there any good apps for people who want more than just hook ups? I also have no idea what to write in my profile and I don't know how to take flattering selfies…
And I'm also somewhat scared of people whom I know irl finding out that I'm desperate enough to do that lol

No. 125485

Which Country

No. 125486

I'm from Poland, he is from Sweden.

No. 125494

idk bro, I personally find the mousy haired, dull grey eyed, undefined facial structure polish phenotype cute on guys too. like it's not my preferred but my previous 3 mini crushes in uni have been exactly that. maybe I'm getting more frustrated lol.

No. 125497

Polish guys are handsome in my opinion, but they are often sexist unfortunately.

No. 125498

It doesn't look that bad to be honest, it's more about the fact that they don't take care of themselves at all and they are v prone to balding.

No. 125499

that's true, the mysogynistic socialisation is pretty bad. maybe og anon finds swedish guys more attractive in part due to them actually treating her like a human. ok, >>125498 , balding is a big concern, fair.

tbh also the language barrier sometimes makes people seem more decent/hotter? like the guys back home are vile in my eyes but realistically they shouldn't be too different from polish ones kek.

No. 125504

File: 1571361409590.jpg (17.09 KB, 460x256, z1r35mejsdz21.jpg)

I think it's common all over Eastern and Central Europe, I'm from a Slavic Balkan country and men here are… I wouldn't say sexist necessarily but lazy, stupid, rude and really entitled. They're also not the best looking but they'd be marginally passable if they just grew some fucking hair instead of getting buzz cuts, and dressed nicer. The girls here try so hard to look good only to be ridiculed and nitpicked by lazy, sloppy mama's boys.
Luckily guys in a neighbouring country down south are much nicer and love girls from my country so I bagged one and I'm happy.

No. 125516

Tinder isn't a bad idea in the sense that it's a way to meet people, but if you don't know how dating works then it's going to be rough regardless of the method

You'll get to know a lot more people, but it's always harder to notice red flags unless you're talking to someone in person

My advice, go slow regardless of how you feel

No. 125517

That level of self-asskissing… lmao
>I live in a country that's known for beautiful women
>my phenotype makes women a bit more conventionally attractive

No. 125523

NTA and I usually rme hard at bragging, but that sounds like a fair assessment of slavs. She's not even talking about her own opinion, the rest of the world does stereotype Eastern Euro women as gorgeous whereas the men don't have that reputation.

No. 125526

I'm sorry, this was not my intention. I was just talking about a stereotype regarding looks of Slavic people, I had thought it was bullshit as well, but I guess there's a grain of truth to it (at least when it comes to men, I personally think nordic women are much better looking than us).

No. 125527

It’s the same in latinoamerica anon.

Shithole countries put the most shit on women to look “good enough”

No. 125528

File: 1571385771939.jpeg (376.7 KB, 900x584, 4B2D6E68-6854-4AB2-B62B-5C87C3…)

Well that anon probable doesn’t live in India calm the fuck down

We all know that beauty is the closest to what we see in media and slav women are seen as perfect because of their features

No. 125536

Poles look bloated, both the men and women look like potatoes

No. 125537

lol my ethnicity isn't even on this chart. now i'm wondering what the common phenotype for it is?

No. 125547

I had the same experience as a lesbian. So many people on dating apps just expect the other party to carry the convo completely, even though they showed interest first. I don't get it

No. 125566

Slavic women from all countries are very beautiful and slavic men are the ugliest male ethnicity.

No. 125624

Meeting up with strange men makes me really anxious. I’m just generally nervous around strangers because of my social anxiety. How do you meet up with them and go on a date and not feel weirded out that you’ve never met them before? I feel like my first impressions are going to blow it for me. I’ve swiped on so many good looking guys who can actually text and uphold a conversation but I always blow it when they meet me because I act all awkward and strange. I can’t hold eye contact too long because I’m shy & awkward and I guess my low self esteem makes me feel like I’m below their league.

No. 125637

i think in nearly all populations men are much worse-looking than women, except france.

are slav men really uglier than south asian men?

it's weird because while i don't think slavic women are ugly i've always thought they look bloated and generally have heavy brows/odd profiles. they also age badly, fast. i really don't understand where the idea that slav grills are super hot has come from, if not from porn and prostitution.

No. 125806


south asian men are def uglier, you can cherrypick a few cute looking boyish slav men that are quite attractive, that before they start balding then become just average.

No. 125865

Oh come on, almost every white male actor has some kind of slavic roots. Slav men destroy their looks with alcohol and overall misery, but the average slav looks better than the average central european if moved to a somewhat stable environment (eg far away from motherland.).

No. 125870

The guy who plays Jim Halpert from the Office is so cute and he’s half Polish

No. 125879

>almost every white male actor has some kind of slavic roots
That's just not true.
>the average slav looks better than the average central european
Leo DiCaprio (and countless others) beg to differ…
People only think of guys like that one famous russian ballerino or some young model when talking about slavs but in reality most of them have massive browbones, beady eyes, meaty nose and lips and look like they want to beat up everybody and everything. Far more slavs actually match that stereotypical trope instead of looking as cute or dreamy as american girls think they do.

No. 125885


will you all shut the fuck up and stop derailing a thread about dating apps with your inane opinions about slavs

No. 125887

They swipe right on everyone. I've even heard of guys making bots to do it for them. They don't give a fuck about you, your pictures or your profile.

No. 125921

File: 1571865366741.png (80.86 KB, 570x335, 5678.png)

No. 125944

he sure aged as badly as slavic men.

No. 126517

Slavic men have a more infantile look in general IMO.
western men have a longer head/fuller beard/narrower face.

Indian men can all look very different, but some women are definitely into the "swarthy semitic" look which a lot of Indian guys have (aka Dev Patel)

No. 126518

This >>125839 is what comes to my mind when I think "Slav". Of course not all of them look like that, but they do tend to have more of those features compared to western men (wider face, less hair, potato nose, etc.)

No. 126529

I joined Bumble last night whilst drunk, I've never used a dating app and I'm kind off odd-looking. I don't mean this to humble brag at all, I just want to know what my odds are here. I got a lot of attractive matches (most guys I swiped had swiped me back or did so a few hours later). What are the chances of 20-ish attractive men on Bumble within 15 miles of me aren't all creeps/swiping for a joke/catfishes?

No. 126530

Getting matches is the easy part. Having conversations stay alive, no red flags, a successful date, etc is the hard part.

No. 126548

File: 1572723695332.jpg (10.23 KB, 300x375, 5b76ccaaf1d00.image.jpg)

Dude looks like a typical potato = German = central European.

This is what I think of when I think of Slav men. Big bones, big head, heavy lidded eyes.

Do we need a thread for this and would such a thread even be allowed b/c race baiting? I don't want to shit up this thread.

No. 126551

Average Polish guy is much uglier than him…

No. 126580

Like >>126530 mentioned, it's really easy to match but those types of guys do tend to ghost more often before you get to meet since they probably have a lot of girls after them.

I will say, though, that the guys I've met off apps (mainly Tinder) have been way more out of my league than guys I've met "organically." They're mainly looking for hookups, but even then, they've all been really conventionally attractive and successful, and I don't even consider myself particularly pretty either.

No. 126588

Just look at pictures of the german soccer team vs the polish or russian soccer team and you'll see who on average has doughier features and who has sharper features.
Sorry, but it just annoys me a little that everybody always seems to put slavs on a pedestral (crystal.cafe even have their own thread dedicated to them?) while shitting on my country lol
Slavic men are usually also still a lot more misogynistic than the rest of Europe, so don't dream too much of getting a cute slav bf or you might be disappointed - plus they prefer their own women anyway.

No. 126635

That crystal.cafe thread is just people shitting on the idea of slav guys being cute though.

No. 126681

Omg I matched with two real hot hotties with abs and killer jawlines and handsome faces and they’re both 6’4”

I feel like they’re out of my league and I’m going to get such anxiety if I meet with them. I also think they’re looking for hook ups because they just look the type since they’re so hot and don’t hot people on dating apps just want a quick fling? Or one night stand?

No. 126687

claiming there's a significant difference between Germans and Poles shows how ridiculous the basic premise of this conversation is.

>>my country

lmao, reg dich ab. nobody said anything about ideology and character.

what dating app? lower your expectations (having an interesting conversation instead of meeting your future husband), and it'll be fine. ask yourself if you like them instead of wondering whether they like you.

No. 126699

Hinge which is supposed to be for serious people looking for a serious relationship. I’ll see if I even like them. Ones uneducated and the other does drugs so they’re not entirely meeting my golden standard

No. 127011

Should I put my dealbreakers all up front in a dating app? Like “don’t watch porn” or is that too straightforward and cringe to be associated with my name and face

No. 128938

Slavs aren't white or human, but that's just being redundant I guess.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 128946

Good luck finding a man who honestly doesn't watch porn. You'll at best find a man who is very good at hiding his porn habit

No. 129114

They're not impossible to find, more niche men are getting into the 'no fap' movement.

No. 129115

Waiting for the "only eat pussy" movement

No. 129123

This would be the dream

No. 134975

File: 1585231366765.jpg (93.53 KB, 577x866, Dimitriy-Zinchenko31.jpg)

Wut, I've always liked slav men a lot. They do have a cuter look to them, but they're also tall, "manlier" in their mannerisms and despite the stereotype, treat girls well.

You can always tell if a guy is slav though lol.

No. 134977

Any of you used The League app before? The waiting list is super long unless you pay but I got in the next day. The men they show me at hot 10/10 Chads, definitely the type I'd go for, but the ones in the open chat groups are old creep looking types. Maybe they select chads for you to match your profile? Or those creeps paid to get in?

Lmao. I'm interested to match with someone and see what happens. The Chads on Tinder are hot but so so fucking retarded, it's impossible to hold a conversation with them.

No. 134983

File: 1585240505596.jpg (22.03 KB, 290x200, blarrrr.jpg)

Tinder is unironically the Discord of dating, Discord is the Facebook of AIM, AIM is the instant messaging of the pre-corporate internet, and the pre-corporate internet is what we need to go back to if we want true speech freedom on the web anymore.
/tangent of screw the web 3.0, but also my long way to say that Tinder and ILK is trash.

Tinder is almost like a leper colony for easy men (and others). Barely worth the effort


No. 134997

Is it weird that I almost never get sexual messages? I also never get dick pics, but it doesn't seem like guys message me first. Is it because I look ugly?

No. 134998

nice try, bydlo

No. 135005

I've always heard that slavic men are shitty because in a lot of slavic countries women outnumber men and so women basically have to compete for them so the men become assholes

No. 135021

Idk what dating app you're using but maybe you're just matching with decent men.

Once I matched this cute guy on Tinder ad the first thing he asked me was if I'd have sex with him.

No. 135028

Uuuh, no?

No. 135033

i think more likely reason for them to be shitty is lack of proper sexual education and unrealized misogyny, but i wouldn't say it's exclusively slav countries problem

No. 135034

Nah not true

I've found they're just nicer to you, with the added bonus that they're not pussies needing to ask for permission for everything (though maybe that's every country other than in the west). English guys for example are so scared of doing anything, such fucking pushovers.

No. 135042

>they're not pussies needing to ask for permission for everything
nta, but nice try bydlo

No. 135043

>a hot guy who asks your permission to anything

Sounds like the ideal tbh

No. 135045

Sounds better than it is lmao. I dated a 10/10 english guy a few months ago. Hottest person I've ever seen in my life. Super kind too. But damn it it would have been nice if he were a bit more assertive.

>can I do this? I mean, only if you're 100% fine with it.


No. 135046

Nta, but the ideal, really nice and honest guy is hard to find, so I think some women just prefer men who are more upfront, e.g. they say something shitty and you can directly confront them about it, than guys who know that they can't say/do certain things but have an underlying misogyny and passive aggressiveness.
I guess it's the same with women who prefer ugly, skinny-fat/fat and/or short guys because they say those couldn't hurt you like fit guys can - but if a man really wants to hurt you, verbally or physically, he'll always find a way. If it's in your face you can defend yourself and correct him, but if he's stabbing you in the back, like shittalking you with his friends or secretly watching porn while pretending to be a sjw, you're living a life of uncertainty.
I personally believe that dating an arab/muslim guy or anybody from a backwards culture and hoping he's magically alright would be absolutely idiotic, but sometimes you might be luckier with like in this case slav guys than you are with fake-woke western europe/american guys.

No. 135047

this is exactly what I meant, thanks for putting it in words better than I could.

actually the best combo I've been able to find is an eastern euro guy who has lived in the west for a while. they have that traditional assertiveness but are more open-minded than those who never left their country

No. 135048

OK I kinda get it. No one wants a sneaky misogynist, but you also don't want a proud one.

No. 135055

I understood what you were trying to say, no problem

What I wanted to add, I also noticed this a lot lately, that even a lot of normie men irl (so not just assholes on the internet) seem to have a hidden deep hatred for women and start openly mocking feminists a la 4chan. "B-but what about us? What about men's righs? Females nowadays have it easier than us". Just because feminism exists since ages already, doesn't mean you listened to us and tried to better yourself and acting like rape is not a real fear of and threat for girls and women is disgusting.
Feminisim hasn't been a thing in eastern europe for as long as it has been in the western europe or the US, but the men there at least have enough pride to not paint themselves as victims - which is one of the things that I personally hate the most.

Of course not, but in my experience it's much more prevalent in men who try to hide it than in men who do things like make a stupid distasteful joke. The former might snap one day and go full out while the latter didn't do it in malice.

No. 135057

This might sound weird to non eastern euros, but I feel more "equal" in eastern europe than in the UK. It feels like in the UK they're doing it for brownie points, and they still consider women beneath them. In EE things are mostly equal just because. Growing up there I never felt lesser. There's never been a push for feminism, and women actually hate being called feminists.

No. 135058

Well, but that's not good either, feminism means equal rights for everybody, why would you hate being called that if not because you're actually sucking up to insecure men?

No. 135060

I think it's because woman in EE associate the word "feminist" with the stereotypical maniac western tumblr feminist. We just prefer to call it equal rights.

No. 135226

>This was when he started making his millions, shockingly he left my mother for a younger woman, who would have thought!?

This is pretty fucked up honestly. I'd expect people who got rich to keep their spouse who was there for them before the money. The fact they were there before the wealth pretty much proves they're not in it for the money. Instead they dump them and trade them in for a life of paranoia which is not only ungrateful but deeply stupid.

No. 135229

What's a good opening line for Bumble? I don't like stupid pick up lines, but don't want to say some unoriginal "heeyyy" shit either

No. 135234

So how is this any different from being pornsick? Most people aren't that special but nobody gives them the time of day now unless they 'spice it up' to the point it looks fake. Internet porn fucks up men's brains to the point they can't even get hard with real sex. They become tolerant to the pleasure and require extreme stimulus to respond. How are dating apps any different ? To me it looks like everyone's being conditioned by these technologies.

No. 135238

You'll enjoy him being assertive until he does something you don't like. Then suddenly the relationship with the 'perfect' guy will be over because he violated some boundary he didn't even know you had and you'll never be able to trust him again.

Don't trivilaize consent. That guy sounds like he's taking it seriously. We don't want men thinking they can just touch us whenever and wherever they feel like it. So don't act like they should do exactly that. Because that's exaclty what's going to happen.

No. 135241

Hm, good point. Didn't think about that.

No. 135246

Fucking this. I'd rather a guy ask me for consent every step of the way until he understands my boundaries than just do whatever. To me it's way hotter that he has that sort of consideration than try to be "dominant" or whatever. Major turn-off.

No. 135253

>match with an attractive, kind looking guy.
>looks really nice and genuine
>just messages me to sleep with him

Fuck's sake. On the flipside, the biggest fuckboy profile turned out to be a sweet person

No. 135265

Happened to me once. My friend went on a date with a blonde cute guy she met on Tinder and hooked up with him, they kept messaging each other until he stopped responding. Ppl on this app are so fickle omg

No. 135314

I think attractive men just have a lot of options for girls they'd date in real life, and use Tinder purely for hookups.

A man will pretend to care about you just so you sleep with him. I wish they'd just be upfront about it. I'd rather have a FWB with someone than be lied to and invest emotion into something worthless

No. 135361

Why are men such fucking sociopaths? It's men from all around the world who do this shit, so it must be natural. So gross.

No. 135369

How could they not be? They want to have sex despite their shortcomings, their only option is to lie

No. 135372

Lmao true. They're just so obsessed with sex they let it rot their brains. It's fucking weird.

No. 135384

It's how men are conditioned because of "society standards". I'm sure if men and women were raised the same way with the same standards applying to both genders we wouldn't be having this issue.

No. 135391

Met a guy on bumble. His replies are dry sometimes but sometimes he makes me laugh. We called a bunch of times and i had fun once since we kept laughing and i liked it. I dont know if im developing a crush or its just because Ive been lonely for so long but i think he’s just ghosting me at this point and he takes time to reply so im not really on what i feel about things anymore

No. 135395

>I dont know if im developing a crush or its just because Ive been lonely for so long
Lol, exactly how I feel most of the time. It's loneliness.

No. 135396

File: 1585763932282.jpg (138.85 KB, 555x504, kakkasds.jpg)


t-thanks anon

No. 135399

iktf anonette. I have a big issue with this, developing crushes quickly because I'm so lonely. I just want someone to care about me, not just in a platonic way. Friends aren't the same, nor is family.

honestly considering just meeting guys off Tinder or whatever to temporarily fill the empty void until I do meet someone.

No. 135402

True about the part where friends or family cant recreate that feeling and dating apps can get sad for a couple of hours/days

Validation and attention from a potential partner feels nice

No. 135415

>dating apps can get sad for a couple of hours/days
they start off exciting and get depressing real fast lol. and right now there's no point to them given the lockdowns. I can't be bothered to text someone for 3 months. i'm not gonna have a fucking video call either, I need physical touch :(

No. 135462

File: 1585819499041.jpg (4.21 KB, 251x201, images.jpg)

update on this is that he has fully ghosted me i believe and isn't interested. which is fine i guess. hearing the discord notif makes me jump and expect that its him. never trying dating apps ever again

No. 135469

Don't get discouraged. Men will ghost, especially during this time where you can't actually meet for the foreseeable future. Perhaps for now find a nice cosy discord server and make friends, and try dating apps once the world opens again :)

No. 136143

Where can I find men that are not sociopaths? I have tried:

Tinder- fuckboy central
Bumble- same userbase as Tinder
Coffee Meets Bagel- the guys seem nicer here, but the userbase is tiny
POF- seems to be only toothless trailer trash type of guys

No. 136147

File: 1586397425362.jpeg (62.32 KB, 500x338, 331A209A-F3CF-4AF2-BD4B-F7059F…)

I’m starting to think almost all men on dating apps are looking for validation/ the order-a-bitch menu. Decent guys are snapped up quickly and have no need to use apps.

No. 136148

Have you tried offline?

No. 136153

Yeah fr. I would never meet up with a guy from a dating app.

No. 136156

Story time. I matched with this guy on Tinder after he super liked me. We texted for a bit and arranged to FaceTime the following day. I woke up the next morning to a text from him saying he was going out to buy wine and wanted to know if I wanted any. He offered to deliver me some so that we could drink together over FaceTime. I said sure.

He then replied with an offer to get me two bottles of wine. I agreed. He left the bottles in the lobby of my apartment building so as to maintain social distancing.

We talked for maybe an hour or so. I felt catfished almost because he clearly used pics that were from at least a year ago. Like he used to be really bulky and muscular and now he's all scrawny and geeky looking. But I tried to give him a chance.

He talked a lot about how he's probably going to lose his job and other depressing topics. Somehow we got on the topic of a tweet he posted the night before, in which he described his future kid asking him, "Dad, when was the moment you knew you wanted to marry Mom?" This guy replies with "well, we were talking for the first time and she told a joke about ____" which was what I had said the night before.

Immense cringe. Then he was like "let's show each other the coolest thing in our rooms right now" and he showed me a stormtrooper helmet lmao I noped outa there like byeeeeee!

No. 136164

At least you didn't personally met him

I have Tinder installed in my phone and don't feel like using it at all

More than wanting to date someone I felt it was a social obligation and now thanks to corona I'm just chilling

No. 136184

My workplace is nearly all women and so are my hobbies. I don't go to clubs or bars. So… dating apps for me.

No. 136197

>Decent guys are snapped up quickly and have no need to use apps.
:( Yeah

I want to find a decent, attractive guy but they're all looking for hookups online, and I don't spend enough time socialising offline to meet one that way. Especially with this fucking virus I have to be alone for even longer.

No. 136224

Ok, nonny, pep-talk time.
Trust me when I tell you that this guy is not worth getting upset over. I know it’s hard to overcome that feeling of loneliness but do you genuinely feel as if you’d have enjoyed being in a relationship with this guy or you had some irreplaceable connection?
I was in a similar situation (I literally had to delete discord so I would stop waiting for a notification) but looking back, it was so not worth getting sad over it. You tried and it didn’t go anywhere, but who knows if it would have worked out anyway?
And if you think about it, when you finally meet the right guy that’s out there waiting for you, this dude will seem so insignificant you’ll probably completely forget about him. He’ll literally just be some asshat who threw away his chance with you. Do you really wanna say you gave up because of this one guy who wasn’t even that fun to talk to?
It always sucks being ghosted but realise that it’s not something you should be torn up about and it happens to literally everyone. The positive thing is that you made an effort.

No. 136225

Is anyone else just not going to even consider dating for the next year? I don't trust men to be responsible or conscientious about covid exposure. Back in November some asshole (MED STUDENT!) let me kiss him and do the nasty while apparently he had a raging viral cold he didn't fess up to until I found cold medicine in his bathroom. He lied to me when I asked him about his sniffles initially. I wound up having to shell out at an urgent care when the viral cold he gave me went bacterial.
Stands to reason that if men hate and are apathetic towards women enough to lie about their colds and STDs, they're not gonna care if they expose us to covid. They'll just figure no skin off their bones since they're young/fit/whatever so what they don't gotta deal with ain't their problem.

I usually enjoy casual dates but I don't trust scrotes with my health. They don't care.

No. 136232

I'm gonna date as soon as shit reopens, but not before that (some men off dating apps asked me to drive to them despite the lockdowns, the fucking desperation). I'm lonely and I don't think I want to wait until next year, but if you have some health issues or poor immune system then I see why you'd want to.

But, you might also want to consider that the virus is expected to come back in the winter

No. 136291

I've been getting far fewer matches than usual since the quarantine started. Almost none. It's really hurting my self esteem.

No. 136311

What kind of quality man do you plan to encounter? No one worthy is going to be caught dead doing selfish shit like browsing a dating app during a virus crisis. They're all gonna be creeps looking to take advantage of your time and in worst case persuade you to risk your health right now.

No. 136314

If anything, I would expect dating app activity to be spiking right now since everyone is stuck inside. How is it selfish?

No. 136315

Yeah, literally everyone is online rn. Tinder is offering passport for the month lol

No. 136330

Because people are meeting up when they shouldn't. Do you just want a penpal that occasionally begs for nudes while he chats up his roster of twelve other women where he's asking the same?

No. 136331


The way I see it is the usually social people are now lonely and trying Tinder out, whether it's for nudes or building up a harem of women they can text "heyyyy, wanna meet up?" once the lockdown is over.

Many don't know what they're using it for, they're just trying it out. I saw more activity once lockdown started, but it's dropped significantly over the weeks as everyone found out it was useless.

No. 136358

File: 1586553479682.jpeg (63.8 KB, 563x545, F7904386-0942-446E-9637-62711B…)

Its 5 am where I live and I fucking cried. Thank u anon My friends are telling me its just a quarantine phase and I shouldn’t have had gotten my hopes up in the first place. I needed this a lot

No. 136367

Different anon here, but I think you need to learn how to cope with ghosting a bit better or stay away from dating apps if it hurts your self esteem. I used to be the same and felt super hurt every time I got ghosted, but you need to realize that it happens to LITERALLY everyone. Guys from dating apps are usually fuckboys with no attention span, that's just sadly how it is.

Also, a lot of guys can be fun to talk to and then be completely unattractive once you actually meet up, whether it's their mannerisms or other things – so there's a big chance you would've been less impressed meeting him irl anyway. I've had guys who seemed amazing and then did something that was a huge turn off once we met up, or it was just painfully awkward. I've gone on 10+ Tinder dates and only half of them or less actually retained my interest after meeting them, so you're probably not missing out on much.

No. 136370

Also, on a related note: the only person I met on Tinder who I've still kept in contact with for almost half a year now (just casually hooking up though, he was open about that and doesn't lead me on) has been my fave out of everyone I've met. I can't gush over him enough and I really wouldn't expect him to be into me at all, so it really is a matter of luck when it comes to who ghosts and who doesn't.

No. 136371

gonna screenshot this to show my future self, cause i wanna get into online dating soon and already know i will react like a banshee if/when this happens to me. good stuff anon

No. 136386

You should value yourself more than this. He's not "into you," you're just an easy lay whereas most girls have more self respect than to hand it out (for free anyway).

No. 136401

Handing it out for money makes you a ho, so. No winning apparently.

No. 136410

if she has sex with some tinder guy because she wants sex then wtf does it have to do with valueing herself? This mindset only reinforces the idea that guys can sleep with everyone without losing their worth but girls can't.

No. 136423

Where are you getting the assumptions that I'm an "easy lay" and that he doesn't spend money on me??


No. 136428

I’m glad I could help and I hope you feel better. Please don’t stress about it, okay?

Good luck, anon, I’ll be rooting for you.

No. 136450

I tried to find the Tweet and nothing, I guess he deleted it.

Dropping the wine off in the lobby and then going home to facetime with you is the weirdest bit.

No. 136462

So you're saying he spends money on you in exchange for sex. My mistake, you are a true prostitute which is slightly better I guess.

No. 136467

Your mindset here does nothing but hurt women who want casual sex. Stop forcing your personal requirements onto her, it’s her choice who she sleeps with for whatever her own reasons are. Throwing around the word prostitute as an insult to an anon who clearly sees sex differently to you just makes you look like a bitch.

No. 136572

I'm sorry you've never gone on dates with men who pay for you, anon

No. 136624

Men pay for all my dates. I don't exchange that for sex, that's the difference. I actually command respect from men instead of being a living sex doll lol.

No. 136627

How virtous, you truely are not like those others girls

No. 136694

Anyone else message first and get ignored a lot? I feel like men always whine that women never message first, but then they do this.

No. 136723

Eh that's why I don't anymore. They're only shitting themselves because 10/10 Staceys who promise to pamper them aren't messaging them, they don't care about messages from their looksmatch and they're always trying to see if they can do better. Let them pursue you.

No. 137808

Why does every guy on Tinder looks like he hasn’t showed in three days? This is actually pissing me off.

No. 137809

They all look like they're making a profile for their stupid friends as a joke, not to attract women. It's scary how shit men are at online dating. Is it really that hard to groom yourself, smile and take a photo?

No. 137810

Nta, but apparently it is for them. What's worse is they could be alright people but you'll never know since they look like slobs.

No. 137811

> What's worse is they could be alright people but you'll never know since they look like slobs.

painfully true. my ex was a 10/10 person in looks and had a good personality, recently came across his dating profile and it's SHIT. generic answers, shit photos. almost reached out to him to say he's doing himself a huge disservice.

No. 137817

nah what's more painful is when their profile looks great, they look attractive, but their bio is just shit. and not just low effort, but some shitty pick up line. and I'd love to match with them but i'd feel disgusting because of their bio. fucking idiots.

No. 137831

Life just isn't fair. Girls have beautiful and interesting pics and bios and men can't be arsed to take a minimally decent pic

No. 137832

And in the animal kingdom the males are the ones who are meant to show off and "beautify" themselves. What happened to human males lol?

No. 137843

It was probably like that in the paleolithic but the roles were reversed at the start of civilization (aka patriarchy) because beautifying oneself is a (seemingly trivial) time and resource consuming task that got largely replaced by status in men, also male animals are desperate as fuck, the fact male peacucks are so extravagant looking is because female peacucks selected them to be beautiful over thousands of years, the rest of male peacucks that didn't meet this criteria died as lonely horny virgins

No. 137850

>the rest of male peacucks that didn't meet this criteria died as lonely horny virgins

Wish we could weed out the low quality men like that, but unfortunately there will always be desperate girls that take them and carry on their useless genes.

No. 137875

Has anyone else been getting really shit top picks on Tinder recently? I used to get really attractive suggestions, but for a few weeks now they've been extremely average looking, and none of them are in my city.

No. 137881

imo patriarchy pickme culture where men pick women makes no sense EXCEPT in a small vulnerable population where women are desperate to have children with a stable partner at all costs for survival. in all other contexts, the peacock system seems way more natural and better for everyone. men can't handle rejection for shit and are generally a lot less picky about their taste in women. women are more likely to have a "type" and be serious about it and don't get as enraged by rejection so they should do the choosing. women wouldn't have to be bothered as often and could enjoy the feeling of power and men could enjoy feeling wanted and not worry about frequent rejection. even incel types would benefit because there would be a clear method of how to be attractive to women, instead of "idk bro just be confident" and one end and "if you don't have chad genetics and six figures it's OVER" on the other. necessity would lead to the development of a reasonable, adjustable blueprint of how to be attractive as a male instead of the half assed no win shit they have now. i really think that's the way things are "supposed" to be but extreme circumstances and power structures ruined it.

No. 137882

The praying mantis or the hyena system is better

No. 137884

My top picks are always generic white dudebros. I've never swiped right on a white guy so it makes no sense.

No. 137900

They're based on your score (using Tinder's algorithm). If you prove to be popular (and swiped by Chads), you'll get suggested more Chads. When I first joined my picks were horrendous because I hadn't matched enough with people and my profile was set to private unless someone swiped on me. I made it public for a day and my picks improved.

No. 138062

i deleted all apps for almost a year and, of course, right when i get the urge to date again this covid shit happens

i feel so lonely anons

No. 138113

fuck holy shit i feel you. for now maybe focus on yourself talk to some friends about what you feel. once covid season ends hopefully you can bounce back into the dating scene.

No. 138169

This is so true… My bio is good and the pictures on my profile aren't terrible, but I hate getting my picture taken so they aren't professionally taken, IG model status photos like other girls. I feel like it definitely impacts how many matches I get. Meanwhile men are popular if they just do bare minimum…

No. 138193

well, men are expected to have a good bio to make up for it. i look at both men and women and i want my women to also have a decent bio, but like, from the man's perspective, i don't think they generally give a shit what a woman's bio says so long as they're physically attracted to her. because male brain. obv personality is important later on but for initial impressions you just have to be attractive to a man and you can leave your shit blank.

No. 138251

are you sure? mine is blank and so are most girls and i still have 99+ matches

No. 138506

I just got back into tinder to talk to people during quar, it’ll still be another month+ until I can meet up with them safely but I figured that would weed out the ones who weren’t that interesting. I feel horrible though cause i keep ghosting guys, I’m getting way too many matches to keep up with all the conversations. I don’t remember it being like this at all last time I used it, but also last time I used it, we would talk for 4 or 5 days, and then start going on real dates/hooking up.
(+ I’m the anon from the dumbass shit thread who matched with my ex’s friend by swiping before I realized it was my ex’s friend, he didn’t seem to know we knew each other and we sent like 2 messages back and forth until I got radio silence for 18 hours now, but he hasn’t unmatched. Being ignored by skaters is my kink, I guess)

No. 138623

There's no way this is true
I always got the most basic matches ever for top picks when NONE of them were my type and they all looked basically the same
It has to be that if you're popular you'll get suggested to more people, rather than matching based on compatibility–because there's no way I'd date any of my top matches

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