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No one in the altcows thread(s) wants to discuss these two boring, do-nothing tater tots anymore, so please bring your autism and nitpicking here so that we can move on and discuss other more interesting cows.
Basics for newfags:
>privileged poseurs who profit off of their “goth” image for other wannabes
>have no interest in goth culture or music except for the clout and freebies they get from it
>fanbase consists of tweens and normcore hot topic types with low expectations and no taste
>continually getting called out by eldergoths for their lack of interest
>cannot handle the criticism so avoid the community at all costs
>both are extremely lazy, do nothing, complain about everything, refuse to change, hoard their hauls, stuff themselves with shit food
>rinse and repeat ad infinitum
>kaya struggles with her weight and bad skin, but cannot (or will not) make any effort to change her lifestyle in an attempt to get better
>has blamed everyone and everything under the sun for her issues but never looks to herself as the cause of her problems
>jake on the other hand seems completely uninterested and invests more time in his “snaccs” than he does his partner
>has slowly evolved from musty chav scene boi to Jared Leto’s Joker/Marilyn Manson nightmare clown to appeal to his emo fangirls
>both ebeg nonstop to their goofy fans about how they are supposedly struggling to make ends meet every month so they can get more free Killstar, subscription boxes, and eat out all the time
>claim they are planning on moving to barcelona at some point in the future, but seem to be incapable of actually making shit happen reasonably like everything else in their lives
>their reasoning for wanting to move to spain? belfast isn’t “goff” enough for them (aka, nobody wants to talk to them)
>as of late they are still at it with their laziness, complaining, binging, whining, and doing absolutely nothing, which is why we are here
>current offerings: peak goth content of Sims and pokefag gameplays, more fucking unboxing and killstar hauls, and tiktok reactions
Apologies if I missed anything. I just wanted to get this thread up as soon as possible.
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this is a nitpick why is there a door knock under her lips/on her chin lmao
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So many people I hate in one picture. Are they making another collab or something?>>929171
Haha, new thread pic.
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Tinfoil dumb speculation but I am beginning to wonder if they are trying to move to the US instead of Spain. Or is it because the majority of their fans are Amerifags? I am just curious as to why she fawns over the States like it is some wonderland here.
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Joann Fabrics is struggling here and their stuff is mostly shitty craft project tier fabric for grannies.
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There are other tweets like this but I don’t want to sperg since it is just curiosity/speculation.
Makes sense. >>929704
They’re not from an undesirable country so they would be considered faster than someone from some place in Buttfuckistan. But then again, they don’t work traditional jobs and aren’t highly educated. Who knows.
They would NOT be considered as you NEED
a company to sponsor you. It has nothing to do with where you are from.
Lol they really would be begging if they moved to Spain.
I kind of wonder if they’ll go for a year or two, and then end up back in the UK when it doesn’t magically change their lives like they seem to think will happen.
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i think he meant to say "learn to drive" but i'm glad you posted this. he went on a rambling tangent in his latest grwm video about going to that dir en grey concert in london and feeling "left out" of a convo two ppl were having b/c they were speaking japanese. he even pointed out multiple times it was a specific dialect, and then some girl joined in and it made him big mad to talk about it that much.
anyway, he said that he didn't see a point in learning the language b/c it was expensive to travel to japan blah blah wah wah. like that's how into himself he is.
oh, and also kyo "looked at him" during the concert b/c he was dressed up or whatever, such a delusional twat.
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Sadly it is always the ones who fit the stereotype of x thing that gain popularity
Roly - over the top, flamboyant "gay" stereotype = well liked
TT / IBF = over the top, fashion gofficksss that make goth fashion look like a costume = popular
they are popular because that is what most people think of when they consider gays/goths/anything else you can think of
they look ridiculous with their matching latex necks to try and make their faces look slimmer. the way kaya has it is especially funny b/c there's all this open skin.
fake finally uploaded his 'vlog' footage from barcelona. apparently he thought he looked bad [heavy] in it but it's just really boring. all the sites that are they they could've visited and talked about but we just get him blah blahing about idk what with the latex neck that look so stupid b/c it stops in the back.
i like how they were complaining about walking so much when they're just visiting, imagine how much they'll do it when living there and just being homebodies like now.
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A true natural beauty. I can totally see now why people mistake her for trans.
Yeah where did her friends go?
Peach milky, the people she started hanging out with after Fake's rip off Manson video…
Anons in the alt cow general speculated the twosome drive them away with their big headed and poseur attitude, so kaya tacking on the part about being a goth and not liking the music to this not-having-friends video is interesting.
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I know this is probably obvious but I just now realized why Kaya and Jake paint their necks black.
it's because it hides their hanging double chins and gives the illusion they have strong jaw bones.
they'd rather paint shit over their bodies everyday than lose some weight
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If you read the comments it's a bunch of morons whining that being told you aren't goth if you don't listen to goth music is bullying
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Kaya makes up issues because her life is so boring.
she needs to get out into the world and get a job or at the least, move to Barcelona and get on with her life there.
crying because people on facebook don't think you're a goth is such a non-issue and she's so privileged that that's all she has to worry about.
she gets everything handed to her for free and still she finds things to cry about! I'm so sick of her
They keep saying the weather and food are more agreeable in Barcelona, and I can see the point of the food but it's not like either of them will be setting foot outdoors regularly.
Their finances are a mystery to me.
She said yes to "had sex in a cemetery"
With who, because Fake doesn't sound like the adventurous type. (And that would be ironic because of the attention seeing things he does but these things cement him as being dull - he can't get attention by being himself.)
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One of my favourite things to hate about Jake is that he is such a taurus. Maybe just vain but he's stocky and such he just screams Taurus if you're into that shit.
Kaya and him need some soul fulfilling hobbies that has nothing to do with ashethetics. Even a drug addiction could give them more depth. They're painfully boring.
someone in the alt cows thread said she mentioned that fake went 'normal' with his look b/c of bullies, fucking lol. he was trying to copy that casey n-however you spell it and get offered more sponsors or whatever. in sort, he greedy and thought that kind of look would get him free shit.
anyone else think his new tattoo is kind of meh? like, not bad, but for all the hours of work that allegedly went into it, looking at it here >>933111
it's hard to tell what it is unless you actually know. also nice not so subtly showing it off dude, we get it, you have a new tattoo.>>933112
yea, you have some sort of magical hair that just won't stay down. i doubt he's tried 'everything'; hair clips, little rubber bands, better products with strong hold. you're welcome.
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dead, ily anon.
this style doesn't suit him, i'm not sure why he does such long layers that make his legs look even stumpier than they are.
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Yeah, the dude needs to learn how to dress for his body type. I definitely thought he was much fatter than >>933111
due to his unfortunate way of dressing and stumpy body. The high boots and long tunic shirts make his legs look tiny compared to be his stocky body.
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I think it's funny they are soo into goth (and now fetish) fashion but NEVER go to any goth clubs. When they visited London there are tons of goth and fetish clubs, bars and pubs they could have gone to but all they do is walk around the high street and get laughed at by chavs.
Maybe they know they are posers and real goths would rip them apart!
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Jake: puts belt around head
Made 'Fetish Goth' a thing.
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this is something you do in high school. like, good he's doing diy stuff and not whining about it the way kaya does, but you can tell he's so pleased about such a basic thing.
also, he has got2be freeze spray but claims he can't get his hair to stay down? yea, ok.
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Pretty much anon. They aren't Goths, just posers who dress like sideshow freaks because they crave the attention. They don't listen to Goth music and they avoid going to Goth clubs because they know that they won't be taken seriously and won't stand out neither.
I mean I think they know that without the freakshow look, they would be seen for the boring individuals they truly are.
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You're the same person posting badly cropped insta stories on the alt thread.
We don't need to you post every single story they post.
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This guy got recommended to me on instagram and I thought it was Jake at first. I wonder if Jake ripped his look off..
Well, some people have other things to do aside from scouring over and memorizing every single LC thread to make sure nothing gets posted twice. Shocking, right? I didn't know he had been posted here before (obviously) if I did I wouldnt have posted it. Sorry, didn't mean to trigger
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I can't imagine anyone over the age of 13 wanting to wear this
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Wake up, dear. It isn't the King's Road 1976.
Can't deal with being ~stared at~. Jesus.
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Can't believe Jake's patrons pay $5 a month for discount codes he is too stupid to realise can be seen by everyone
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She sits at home all day but does not want to get ready for an outfit video for her channel.
Even though YouTube is supposed to be her 'job'.
They don't "own" it because if they did, they wouldn't get "woe is me" pity points. TT & IBF got tv segments on "What it's like to be Goth" (As if Kaya would know since she isn't one) and the way it's done is always shone in just a "these poor people" kind of way. >>943740
It's shit like this that make feel she doesn't deserve to be called a YouTube and is being rewarded for laziness. She doesn't have any other responsibilities like an IRL job or even any hobbies to speak of. She's the definition of a glutton who only cares about eating and sleeping the day away. I don't understand how she can be so lazy to not even do something so simple when she has all the time in the day to do it. I seriously hope one day her backers on Patreon will see just how ripped off they are getting and put their money to better use.>>943885
It's nauseating but she gets enabled by her fans. "Take as much time as you need" ( a week later lol).
How long before Jake gives up this style?
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Completly agree. These two belong on altcows.
Can we all agree that this is stupidest comment ever? I mean, it´s a fucking object.
I'm guessing she was trying to make a joke and it didn't land>>951248
The thread was made because people in altcows kept bitching about these two being mentioned
This thread won't ever come close to locking unless Kaya or Jake up their games.
I would just take it back to altcows if that did happen, though. The singular anon who thinks they control thread topics can learn to cope.
Has he fucking looked in a mirror? Indeed, pot calling kettle black x2. He's an e-boy, these are your people lol. Because him and his girlfriend sure as hell aren't Goths.>>952688
I think you're right. Even if the anon keeps bitching about them being brought up, they'll just have to deal because their own thread is pretty dead.>>955880
First of all he needs to shut the fuck up. Being generally Alternative doesn't have rules unlike the music-centered ones where you have to at least listen to the music of the scene. It's like he's taking his butthurt after being run out of the Goth scene because actual Goths saw through his and Kaya's poserness and he can't let it go. >>956415
Something like this was brought up in a previous altcows thread where another anon mentioned how Jake wanted to move out of the town he was living in and when he did to live with Kaya, he cut everyone off.
literally every time I go to jake's ig stories he's just posting screenshots of people's posts talking about how much they love his videos. went to his twitter to see if there was anything milky but it's just him retweeting his "snaccs" posting about his videos. he loves fellating himself. pretty sure he would literally suck his own dick if he could.>>968547
well no shit
I don’t want to give too much away, but I live near them in east Belfast. I literally don’t really know or care much about what they do on the internet. It’s just so annoying that they mouth about how stupid/scummy the people in their area are, yet they do exactly what these people do, go to the same benefits office, sit about doing fuck all etc… except they dress alternative so they think they’re different. They live in a ‘council estate area’, basically you claim housing benefits to live in these. Boring story, but I was brought up in a similar area with very little money (mum was a single parent, has MS, and was on benefits also), but now I’m old enough I work and earn money that she couldn’t, so it annoys me how Kaya and Jake go on acting as If their lives are so hard and think that they are better than everyone, so play the system to get handouts all the time. Also, yes they stand out (which is fair enough) but their behaviour stands out more so, which means people talk about them and they are known in east Belfast. Like they’ve been seen, by myself and people I know, going to collect the dole from the jobs and benefits office in east Belfast in the past. I can’t say for certain they still claim but people know what folk are at round here and word of mouth is that they are still claiming, and the facts that they still live in a council house says it all really. Like there are a lot of people around east belfast that are goth, punk working class, really dead on like no one cares if people dress different. These two hit different though, mainly due to their scummy ways, yet acting like god’s gift. I know this is a bit whiny on my part, but sure there you have it.
wow, not surprised and it's pretty apparent that it's their attitudes and not their ~aesthetic~ that turns ppl off. kaya is constantly rambling on twitter about her latest obsession like pressing flowers, while fake definitely thinks he's better than others but is on the same level as ppl he laughs at.
his constant whining about things he was supposed to be doing is so first world problems. mostly b/c he really thinks being in a different country is going to launch his creativity or whatever. like, why not start now instead of doing the millionth reaction video and outing yourself in edited ig pix vs what he really looks like in vids.
I think Fake said this in his "i had an eating disorder" video. if not that then possibly "moving country - story time" video
i als think kaya said this as well on her blog yeeeeears back
all their old videos are still up as far as I know, just order their videos from date added (oldest) and they'll be at the very top
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