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[Vote for the Lolcow Awards 2020]

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No. 703305

2021 will be your sucker

As an added note, don't infight ITT. It's one thing to comment on an anon's post, but it's another to try and start infighting with an anon by replying with a snarky response (ex. "what did you expect to happen anon?")

just let anon vent, if you want to be a nitpicky bitch head over to /pt/ or /snow/. no1currs about your shitty input.

previous thread: >>>/ot/695462

No. 703339

File: 1609058018956.png (394.19 KB, 860x682, 457-4578960_surreal-memes-wiki…)

I grew up isolated by overly religious parents. They "homeschooled" us. But they dropped the ball on schooling us, so we basically just did fuck all all day as kids. Had hardly any friends and the friends I did have (minus one) were manipulative assholes who gaslit the fuck out of me. Had to get my GED at 19. Tried going to college but couldn't get funding and failed most of the classes I was in and didn't know what I wanted to do anyway. Got an extremely lowpaying wageslave job that was also "union" (in spite of that we were still treated like cow shit and they took "union fees" out of our paychecks).

I also live somewhere far north/west which has a pretty small population. All anyone cares about here is either religion, hunting/fishing, smoking weed or a combination of those. Living in a small city makes me feel even more isolated. I really want to move to a different city, maybe even country, but I don't have the money and I honestly don't know if that would even help.

I have symptoms of different personality disorders like BPD, NPD and most of schizotypal PD. I find it really hard to make friends because I have nothing in common with anyone, and I'm really paranoid that everyone hates me. The more close I get to people, the more paranoid I am. I was severely depressed as a teen and an adult, but my sister was even more depressed than me and would act out (as in throw adult tantrums and kick/punch the walls) which took attention away from me. I begged my mom to get me a therapist at 17, but she never got me one until I was 25 and I just turned 26 which means I got kicked off of their insurance and can no longer go to therapy unless I pay for it. I briefly had a boyfriend but he turned out to be a porn addicted weeb who was in a circle of friends who were porn addicted weebs and they had a group chat where they'd share lolicon.

I'm pretty sure I'm retarded, too. I take things literally and have trouble understanding simple things. Ideally I would go back to college, but it's fucking expensive, and I've failed most of the classes I've taken because, well, I'm retarded. On top of that I don't even know what to do. My passion is linguistics but I've heard it's hard to make a career out of that.

I've been a NEET most of my life. I'm working now and I make roughly 2k a month, still not enough to live on here. I want to move out so bad because I'm so fucking sick of living with my parents. But I don't know how to make enough money. I'm in vocational school right now for medical billing and coding, but it's still going to be 10 months before I'm going to be able to get a job in that field.

I have so many things I wish I could do if I had friends. Like, I really want to get into table top gaming like DnD… but I have no idea how to meet people who are into that. I'm also afraid because it seems like gaming communities are full of guys like my ex and I don't want to fuck with that.

No. 703347

File: 1609060014176.jpg (37.93 KB, 728x364, nausea.jpg)


I feel so sick right now. Today I confided to my mom about my ex being a manipulative pathological liar. I told her to not contact his family and she said she wouldn't. The SAME DAY, I get a long apology text from him. This wasn't a coincidence and she obviously reached out to him or his family. I seriously feel fucking nauseous.

I don't know why I even bothered trusting her after he repeated violations of my privacy in the past. I feel so fucking angry, sick, and regretful right now. Fuck my life.

No. 703377

Why are only ugly guys into bdsm? I discovered last year that I am a sub and want to experiment with it, but I've been single almost ever since but I don't want to do it with just anybody.
I mostly like guys that aren't quite conveniently attractive so it's not like I'm expecting to find any 10/10 dudes, but I swear to god there are only guys that look like ProJared or worse that are into it.

No. 703378

Anons forcing "how dare she invite a friend over/go eat at a restaurant/go outside in general during a pandemic!!!" as milk need to get a life. The virus situation isn't as bad everywhere. In my area you can pretty much do whatever except have huge parties because the chances of getting infected are so low as long as you take care of your personal hygiene. Because all cons have been canceled for the past year it's especially reoccurring in cosplayer threads, anons throwing a fit about someone not wearing a mask to an outdoors photoshoot with 2 other people and dragging their spergfest for tens of posts contributing nothing. Please stop, it's embarrassing.

No. 703380

Genuinely feel like hot guys who can get cute women that they actually desire are way less likely to be into any weird shit. A lot of ugly men use BDSM as an outlet for the rage they feel internally because they know most women won’t find them physically attractive, and want to role-play the power they wish they actually possessed in their everyday lives.

No. 703383

what about subs? most male subs aren't particularly attractive either

No. 703385

it depends on the kind of bdsm you're talking about anon, like if you're into extreme degeneracy or 24/7 shit then of course the men who want that are going to be ugly. if you're talking about light bdsm, the odds of a hot guy being open to that are much higher

No. 703388


At least now you know to never tell her anything. Mine was the same (worse).

No. 703390

What did your mom do anon? Maybe it will help me feel better that other people have done the same thing. It’s 4am and I feel so uncomfortable and violated that I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

No. 703393

male subs cope with their low status by turning it into a fetish would be my guess

But it's something I've observed as well, my less-than-sexy friends seem to be more openly kinky, meanwhile the attractive ones are "vanilla". It's kind of funny because the kinksters bitterly shit on the hotties whenever the subject comes up, "ugh it's such a waste! You could have whatever you want but you're a boring normie cishet!" as if they could shame them into degeneracy.

No. 703396

I posted a question about trooning out friends in the stupid questions thread but will turn it into a vent instead: >>703240
My thing is kinda weird, we have a few mutual friends, one of them is very close to me and this dude was pretty close to me up till shit happened with my and a few other friends health that made us too tired of his constant sad boy posting. He is a insightful dude with an actual brain but he is just like any other depressed scrote and thinks he has it the worst and can't seem to understand that therapy is pretty easily obtainable for him and would help, especially if he were to move. We used to bond over shit parents but after my dad died, in a pretty tragic way mind you, he never said anything, it almost seemed like he was jealous. He has a past of trying to talk sexually in the middle of deep convo, usually disguised as "these are the experiences guys go through" and it's icky and gross, especially because he has a gf who he never fucking opens up to. He has also jokingly bodyshamed the gf online in a reply to me, knowing she follows me and can see it. This dude is a teacher. Morbid curiousity tells me to keep him around but i will be careful not to give him any clothing or makeup advice, i had to learn that shit on my own too.

No. 703398

>my less-than-sexy friends seem to be more openly kinky, meanwhile the attractive ones are "vanilla"
if your friends are female that may be because they subconsciously feel the need to compensate for being ugly by being open to bdsm and other fetishes. it's depressing but very common

No. 703399

I bet it also has to do with confidence. Attractive people are more likely to have good self-esteem, and there's plenty of average or otherwise people who are happy as they are not to get into weird fetishes. It seems like all the kinky types have insecurity and other issues that drive them there, generally speaking

No. 703404

my mom was sexually and emotionally abusive and isolated me so I couldn't tell anyone or even realize anything was wrong until much too late.
she now smokes weed all fucking day every fucking day, and when she's high, she reveals horrific shit.
I now wonder if she was high when she was abusing me.
I thought weed was supposed to make people nicer/calm them down, guess not everyone
I keep posting here because I'm waiting to get through to a therapist, months to go

No. 703406

hell, that describes my own relationship with kink/sex perfectly

whenever i have very bad body image episodes i hook up with guys who will beat me and insult my appearance during sex but on a decent body image day my sexual desires are pretty normal

No. 703408

i hate some of the weirdos my ex (who i’m trying to get back with) interacts with online.

one of them suggested he hire a sex worker to get over me.

No. 703411

File: 1609073769875.jpeg (Spoiler Image, 96.9 KB, 1280x720, 7D9F4770-ACDE-4F8E-BD5A-B26014…)

So I’ve been talking to this guy for a while as friends we ended up liking each other.

After meeting for a weekend and deciding we still wanted to pursue things romantically.

During planning me going to his town I mentioned being interested in a place close to it that he didn’t know about and even sent him a video about it, I was super exited as I had seen photos of it before and specifically said “I don’t mind what we do but I’d love to go here and maybe this restaurant during my stay”

Cut to a few weeks ago trip is cancelled due to COVID and we continue talking as often as we did before.

The day that I’m supposed to arrive he sent me photos of the place and said he got me something from the place, instead of waiting to go with me.

Once I said that I was hurt by his decision of not waiting for me his response was asking me if he couldn’t go places without me.

What the fuck

No. 703420

That's a myth, isnt it? It made my big sister even more aggressive than she already when we were teenagers. She quit cold turkey back then after my parents found out and she's still an asshole who loses her shit out of owhere but definitely not like back then.

No. 703422

welp, maybe I can just blame the drugs then
and steal and flush them down the toilet, not like she can remember anything anyway

No. 703424

I dont know if that's going to work but I really hope you can leave this situation behind you somehow.

No. 703451

Nah I'm kind of just into lighter bdsm, not like nipple clasping upside down with hooks while someone motorboats my chest wearing a latex mask thing. While I want my boundaries pushed a bit, I don't want to go too far.
I honestly think I just want someone as a dom giving it to me rough as a coping mechanism after being in a relationship where I got continuously raped a few years ago. So with bdsm no matter how rough my partner is I have the power to say "no" or "stop" and having a partner that would actually respect those boundaries.

No. 703459

File: 1609080697077.jpg (31.04 KB, 670x503, try not to be too jealous.jpg)

Posted in the old thread cuz i'm a dumbass.
I can't complain about this irl because I don't wanna be ungrateful but ughhh. I lost my job because of the pandemic and so did my mum, so her, my brother and I are going to move into my grandma's house because it's empty.
It only has two bedrooms, and we planned to make another one for me using space from the living room. Now she wants to just divide one of the two bedrooms which are very small and make two fucking cubicles for me and my brother because she doesn't want to lose living room space to decor.
I will have basically no privacy and no space to put most of my shit so I'll just probably have to somehow find another job and move out in like 2-3 months which is so stressful since I have no job and no one to live with. God, I hate this.

No. 703489

Bitch are you deadass right now? I don't even know what to say because everything about you is bullshit.

No. 703491

I wish either of my parents had told me how serious my dad's condition was. What confuses me is that my mom seemed to be hinting that I should spend more time at home (I had just moved out and started my life), so I guess it was my dad's decision. I'm assuming he saw my finally becoming independent and didn't want to drag me back home. but I had no time to prepare. in my mind he was sick but going to be okay, then out of nowhere he was home on comfort care and I took care of him and then watched him die two days later. I'm so full of guilt and regret and wishing that I could have spent more time with him before he left us.

I miss you dad, merry christmas.i wish we could have spent just one more together

No. 703498

I wish my dad didn't treat every opportunity I mistakenly open up to him as an opportunity to dunk on me. I wised up years ago but he literally asked me why I seemed down this morning and I told him I was bored and he went on a rant about how he never gets bored because there's always something to do. I know it's a cope but I wish either of my parents were normal enough to just have a mundane conversation that doesn't make me feel like everything I do is wrong.

No. 703499

I feel so sick like I need to throw up but nothing is coming out, debating whether it's worth trying to make myself vom but I'm too scared to put my hands down my throat. Ahghhhhhhhhhhhgggghhh my fucking stomach

No. 703500

File: 1609088844531.jpg (27.79 KB, 569x479, EcYkej8XYAAmHT-.jpg)

>me, on december 23rd
>"Wow I have a four day weekend and so much time!"
>me, on december 27th
>"Wow I did fucking nothing except getting high, sleeping, and attending an awkward and unfun family dinner and already my last lolcow post was 2 hours ago this day will be over soon and tomorrow it's back to work."

No. 703505

File: 1609089330635.jpeg (128 KB, 856x606, 165A73EA-A54D-4254-A597-841FA0…)

I really prefer when my drunkard uncle is in a depressive slope than when he’s manic and utterly annoying. I wish he could just die already or something, even though I shouldn’t but he only gets the family in trouble and worries everyone all of the time.

No. 703514

i keep getting visual flashes, with numbers and words i can barely make out. Moving around is also so so hard these days as my body seems to fight me at every turn. Im loosing m y mind kek

No. 703515

I'm so fucking sick being resented over the fact I had the "privilege" of having parents who aren't horrible and were half-way financially responsible. Like, I get so much misplaced contention over the fact I had certain leg ups, like help paying for college and being taught basic economic shit like investing in the stock market. It's not my fault their parents had three or four kids, despite working minimum wage jobs or barely any higher, and blew any potential savings on daily cigarettes, alcohol, scratch tickets, fast food, and whatever other white trash vices were more important than investing in their children's future.

Before anyone screams "classist"- I'm well aware that not every family is poor because of really bad choices and there are obviously countless scenarios outside of people's control. However, a lot of people are as bad off as they are because of bad choices, and the people who resent me for having a decent upbringing financially almost always come from backgrounds where their parents were just horrifically irresponsible.

No. 703526

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This is the second time I've written out a post and then backspaced it all because I feel like I was getting too thoughtful to the point of sentimentality and cringe.

Also if the posts weren't taken well that would have really hurt my feelings in an unironic way.

No. 703536

I know that feel, anon, it’s so fucking annoying how all people do is seethe when they see anyone having a decent life and making progress on their goals because of their retarded resentment, one can’t really have decent friends because of this shit, maybe one or two, because the moment you get to talk about something relatively high class whatever the fuck that means they all get triggered and start reeeeeeing about privilege and shit.
Why is it so difficult for them to just stop being so resentful? Just working on themselves and setting up goals to accomplish can help a lot with progressing in life.

No. 703537

I cut my hair super short and now watching the fakebois threads is making me regret it a bit kek

No. 703564

File: 1609095143957.png (424.07 KB, 400x400, 1584548287530.png)

My sister's about to ruin her life and there's nothing I can do to stop it
>married a stable but controlling guy, got a divorce after trying to make it work, seemed to become far more mature while single and living alone
>hooked up with a single father of three kids and fell ~madly in love~
>guy is blue-collar good old boy (think cop) and seems nice but is dumb as rocks and has a drinking problem, believes in at least one easily-debunked conspiracy theory, sister says he's apolitical but I suspect that he's a Qtard or white nationalist or something similarly abhorrent
>moved in with him after like 4 or 5 months, is planning on eloping within the 7-month mark and is already house shopping and actively trying to get knocked up
>is engaging in risky behavior that puts her in danger and damages her health, new guy encourages it; she is encouraging his risky behavior in turn
>seems to have lost contact with old friend network, is now surrounded by local govt drones, cops, etc. who are likely encouraging her impulsive behavior and general mediocrity
>parents have not only given up on trying to tell her to take things slow but are encouraging it by helping her look at houses and shit, dad seems to like the guy because he's a salt-of-the-earth line of duty meathead
>I'm expected to shower her with attention when she does ruin her life by getting knocked up
This holiday season has been the fucking worst. In addition to COVID and all of the horrible shit associated with someone in my SO's family slowly succumbing to a particularly awful form of cancer and having to face the fact that my belief system and values are fundamentally different than my family's, I have to watch my sister happily destroy her life in pursuit of dick and the white trash prestige of being a '[dumbass' profession] wife'. I can't even take short reprieve from all of this shit + my demanding job because of the 'rona. I feel like I'm hanging onto my composure by a thread and that the slightest additional weight will cause it to snap.

No. 703576

I was at the airport and I heard a woman complain on the phone that American unemployment benefits were going on for too long. I'm not even unemployed but I wanted to slap the phone out of her hands.

No. 703603

My sister >>703564 said the same thing under the argument that her annoying neighbor isn't looking for work because he likes being on unemployment. I tried to see how low she + my parents would go and argued that people who live on benefits should be rounded up and gassed, and she said she was proud of me for holding such beliefs and agreed. Some people are too self-centered and comfortable to have empathy.

No. 703607

Sounds like your family is afraid that she isn't able to care for herself well or will be lonely, so they're placing all their bets on the guy who's going to promise her a house and a family even if he's got issues because they figure it might be her best chance at happiness. They falsely equate his career status to stability for your sister, even though he sounds unstable in other ways.

Forgive if I'm off about that, there would just be no other explanation I could think of for why everyone else is okay with this except you. Clearly you're one of the only people who holds your sis to a higher standard. It's a shame his views are already rubbing off on her. I don't know what you could do or say to change her course but I do empathize.
I feel a bit like your sister. Not that I've married a scrote before but I do feel like at times what's supposed to be my 'support' circle has given up on me. Like they encouraged me to go forward with bad matches while negging whoever was good because they had some vision of who they saw me with versus who would actually be good for me in the long term.
Guess I'm trying to say that she's lucky she's got a sister like you batting in her corner.

No. 703616

>one can’t really have decent friends because of this shit, maybe one or two, because the moment you get to talk about something relatively high class whatever the fuck that means they all get triggered
Oh god, it's so fucking annoying. I once got shat on behind my back by my ex-best friend for "flaunting my wealth" because I had the audacity to wear a Kate Spade bag and a Pandora bracelet at the same time. I'm not even particularly wealthy, I'm just upper middle class. I have quite a few anecdotes like that, but that one was particularly irritating because it really showed me that just having nice things is gonna be a source of contention, even if I don't even do anything to draw attention to it.

No. 703618

The weird thing is that she has an extremely stable middle-class job and could easily find a guy who could 'provide for her'; in fact, before meeting this one she was basically cycling through medical residents. You're spot-on with the family part; they probably just want grandkids and are enamored with the idea of the salt-of-the-earth working-class hero the guy embodies.

Thanks for the kind words. It sounds like you could definitely use some new people in your life, people who want the best for you instead of trying to mold you according to their own ideals. People who do that are shallow and selfish.

No. 703638

Just to let you know BITCH that I got the day off. I didn't know for sure until lunchtime but I had a wonderful day and even though I didn't get to see my family in person the video chat really made me happy.

No. 703661

Well yeah. I think in a time where people are struggling more than ever, you guys are acting a little tone-deaf.
Not saying you can’t exist this way or that it’s inherently wrong,—just most ordinary people don’t live in any type of opulence, and don’t want to hear about it either. I think it’s natural, and just something you’ll have to learn to deal with. Maybe make more wealthy friends, idk.

No. 703677

That’s some really salty shit, so friends should only talk about their bad and depressing moments because the happiness of their friends triggers them.
The success of someone close to you shouldn’t be something that makes you stop talking to them.

No. 703686

I think you'd have better luck finding a guy you're into and then asking for it a bit rougher, than trying to find someone who labels themselves as a Dom. Normies should respect when you say stop, too.

No. 703688

How is it success if you were born into it? You literally did nothing.
Just talk about everyday things and interests, surely you can't be that obsessed with being rich?

No. 703701

>How is it success if you were born into it? You literally did nothing.

Original venting anon here- I got a degree in a lucritive field and make 110k a year. I have been very smart with my money and have made very good investments, which have lead to a decent amount of money beyond my salary. However, I was able to do so because my parents helped me go to college. Does that qualify to you as doing "literally nothing"? Because to a lot of people, it seems to and it's honestly just irritating and factually incorrect. Completely devaluing a person's success because their parents did what parents are supposed to do is rather stupid as well as assholeish. Especially if you're supposed to be their friend. This also is not new to the pandemic era by any means.

I also don't believe I'm tone def. I don't talk about luxury shit unless it's relevent (for example, if someone mentions a place I've been to, I will mention I travelled there, amd things like that). However, I'm not going to dress differently or buy a lower end car because it makes some people feel bad to ve reminded that some people can afford nice things. That's a them problem.

I get what you're saying about keeping my friends group within my class so that I don't have this issue, but that feels like a really shitty thing to do. It also isn't really practical to execute.

No. 703703

My boyfriend had me check the 30+ texts he received in all caps from his mom to see if she’d apologized for her behaviour during christmas. No but she was suicide baiting him and just overall guilt tripping. He’s blocked her now and I think it’s fine but I’m just so fucking shocked. I’ve never had a person suicide bait me or a loved one in the past and she’s completely alone (also his only family), it’s not an unrealistic scenario. It was more of a guilt trip than an actual threat so I can’t even call the police on her.

God she’s a master manipulator though. Whenever I think about the situation a little bit too long I start feeling guilty and making excuses for the way she acted in my head. How do people do this when it’s their own relatives?!

No. 703705

Just accept that you're not compatible and find wealthier friends.

No. 703716

My stepfather made more money than my bio dad, but was consistently worse off in terms of lifestyle, despite living in a location with a significantly lower cost of living. After growing up observing them both, as well as my wealthy and poor friends parents, and a sibling who dated a guy who won the fucking lottery, I have to agree that decision making plays a larger role than people want to believe.

The brutal reality is that it would not matter how much money you gave many poor people. You could give them 50 million dollars in a settlement (actually happened to someone I know) and they would spend it all. Every fucking penny. And in a few years they would be right back where they started. They could have 20 dollars left in their bank account, and KNOW that they need it for gas to get to work tomorrow, but instead they would impulsively spend it on fast food when they have a freezer full of overpriced TV dinners. Then of course later that night beg friends and family for money for gas. The wealthy people I know are frugal as fuck. They shop at costco. They have money because they don't spend it on stupid shit, and when they do buy something they don't need they make sure it's nice as hell and going to last.

My friends who grew up in wealthy environments but exhibited the qualities of my poor family members ended up poor. My friends who grew up in poor environments but exhibited the qualities of my wealthy family members ended up middle class. The ability to delay gratification is a severely necessary trait if you want to keep any of the money you earn. Yes shit is unfair, but it's also not entirely outside your control. You're not a helpless dandelion puff in the wind, you can orient yourself in the right direction. Doesn't mean the wind will always blow, but it's more effective than blaming everyone else and continuing to piss away everything you've got in a vain attempt to mask your insecurity.


I know my experiences don't speak for everyone, nor encompass the entirety of the issue, but that doesn't make them untrue.

No. 703726

to that one anon in the last thread that said something along the lines of "some insecure people on here just shouldn't date at all": it's not that simple. when you want to love and be loved but you hate yourself (and this level of complexes can't be cured by learning to "love yourself lol") you're basically screwed. i can't stand to look at my face and i know i'm ugly but i still want someone else to not look at me in that way

No. 703731

I feel hurt when I post something and it doesn't get replies. I guess it's good motivation to stop using imageboards

No. 703753

lol, same. I just posted a long vent here earlier and no one replied. I wondered if its maybe because I've vented about similar things before and anons are tired of my shit.

No. 703756

I hate that I have no goals in life. I have a somewhat dominating personality and I'm good at taking control of situations at work and work well under pressure, I feel like if I gave a shit I could really accomplish something in life. I've never had a passion for anything though.

No. 703764

are you >>703339? ntayrt but i'm rooting for you. also im speaking from experience here, for dnd i would look into places on reddit, like r/lfg, pretty diverse and you could find something that interests you

No. 703771

File: 1609122302052.jpg (13.63 KB, 245x245, c95399472a214432e0bf50fca0fd9c…)

Why the FUCK do you always act like anything asked of you is a big inconvenience? Mom just simply asked you throw the trash out who the fuck do you think you are just saying no to her like that. Half the time I want to smack the shit out of you for talking to her like that. When you left for school was the most peaceful 2.5 years in this house. Get some Prozac and meditate or some shit and calm the fuck down.
I also know it's you that leaves piss streaks on the toilet bowl and CLEAN OUT THE SHOWER if you insist on taking a shower everyday after work! YOU PIG

No. 703776

It doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong at all. I'm in a similar situation wrt having supportive parents and ultimately working into a six-figure job, and almost all of my friends from outside of work are far less well-off, even NEETs in some cases. I've found that being very honest/open about my own personal failings, being careful about what to complain and brag about and when, soliciting and respecting their input, and connecting over stuff that we're mutually interested in like local politics goes a long way. I don't think you should necessarily abandon your friends, but if they're being chronically resentful then you may either need to change the way you talk to them or find new friends, upper-middle class or not. It doesn't necessarily sound like a class problem but a shitty friend or communication problem.

No. 703791

I had an amazing weekend. I got a lot of things done. I feel great. This feeling is going to be ruined tomorrow when I go to work. Everyone will complain about the extra work, throw hissy fits, repeat their stories several times, and stand there and force me into listening to them no matter how much I ignore them. I'd be completely okay going the rest of my life without seeing any of them. We also have a bunch of new people which annoy me more. Stand there and do your job, you don't need to stare at me while I do mine or ask me twenty questions about my personal life while I'm working. People think I should smile and be friendly to everyone, fuck off. I get paid to do my job not listen to dipshit talk to themselves about Star Wars and what their wife makes them for dinner.

No. 703803

I also don’t like that some people act as if the rich are soulless demons who don’t work, while the poor are all these hard working, sweet angels. Plenty rich people worked hard for what they have, and also just because someone was born into money doesn’t mean they’ve had a perfect life.

I think a lot of the hatred of the rich is because people are unable to process their envy in a healthy way, so they paint a wealthier person as bad. Lot of it is just cope.

No. 703812

Fuck this shit. Just because you’re mad at your husband doesn’t mean you can put your anger out onto me. It’s not my fucking fault the both of you are retarded as shit and can’t talk things out like normal adults without flipping shit and breaking everything in the house. I can’t even bring myself to call you mom or dad because of all the pain you’ve brought me throughout my childhood, and you really have the audacity to compare me to my brother who you’ve never even tried to beat not once in his whole entire life. I literally have no emotional bond to either of these people. I remember the last time my dad touched me, it was so he could try to beat me. And that was just last year. Do you really think I want to help you out? When your husband doesn’t even want to clean up after himself, you need to take it up with him. God, the both of them are so goddamn retarded it leaves me speechless. I literally try to have as little contact with them as possible, but she tries to start shit with me by the littlest things. Fuck, I really don’t give a shit about either of you. The both of you never really cared about me, so why should I give a shit about you? I cry, you call me crazy. I don’t react, you say I’m retarded and I don’t care. Go and pamper your son who you love so much. Not once in my life have I ever been happy in the presence of the two of you. The only thing that I feel when I’m around the two of you is my flight or fight response. I hope the both of you forever live together in misery, just as you always have.

No. 703831

File: 1609135205650.jpeg (92.18 KB, 640x981, 3C85E03B-A8DC-4ECD-9ADC-9CC64F…)

you bitches have absolutely no fucking taste. SHAYNA? As milkiest cow? Over GIMPGIRL?? I genuinely will never understand what people find so interesting about shaytard, there’s only so many different ways to comment on her fatness before you start repeating yourself. Her thread literally looks like:

>pic of shayna looking fat

>”holy shit she’s porky”
>”oh no she’s so fat”
>“lay off the lunchables shatna!”
>screen cap from her bad porn
>“wow she looks like a lunch lady here”
>”iS tHaT a BoiL oN hEr vAgiNa??????” x5
>“She looks haggard”
>pic of a lame tweet she made
>”she is so lame”
>”look at the likes, no one wants her kek”
>”$3 only fans, sad!”
>repeat for 17 threads

No. 703835

I agree with this, it was a slow year for milk though. On another note, I'm going to be a bit surprised if horrorcow of the year doesn't go to Kelly.

No. 703838

Kelly Eden? Why would she win it. It should probably go to whoever it was that ripped out her own nerves and shit

No. 703841

shit, this semester proved that i can't study well while having a part time (more like full time considering the hours i worked) job. my grades are shit and i'm not getting any scholarships this semester. it will fuck up my overall gpa as well. should've just focused on studying and getting the scholarship like i always did.

No. 703845

Yeah that's who I was referring to, Kelly Ronahan/Kelly and Chompurrs show

No. 703846

I am, and thanks lol I will look there!

No. 703855

Guillotine for you too and your sociopathic mind

No. 703857

You’re jealous of people who worked hard and smart, get over it loser

No. 703866

>However, I was able to do so because my parents helped me go to college. Does that qualify to you as doing "literally nothing"?
>Completely devaluing a person's success because their parents did what parents are supposed to do is rather stupid as well as assholeish
Anon, you are literally admitting that your parents helped you go to school. I'm not saying you didn't work hard (idk you, so maybe you did or you didn't), but you can't deny that someone having well-off parents can help a lot. If you didn't get into the school you got into, and didn't have the parents that you have, do you think you would still be in the place you are? Nepotism can play a big role in a person success, and that's usually luck based.

I'm not saying it's wrong to use nepotism to your advantage (that's what networking is for), but no one of "devaluing" your success by acknowledging the fact that you didn't completely do it on your own.

No. 703869

Some people are miserable or so mentally ill that they’ll be mean to you even if you’re a good friend, because you have something they don’t. Not just money, could be anything really. It can be hard to deal with if you’re on the sensitive side and not doing wrong other than existing.

No. 703870

6 figures is upper middle class in most areas.

No. 703871

I hate when I tell someone that I got something new, and the first question is the price. Like fuck you for asking that, I didn't wanna make it about price or wealth, why everyone always gotta make it about that?

Now I just keep purchases to myself

No. 703873

You don’t need wealthy parents to benefit from nepotism

No. 703874

But based off of what anon said, she does have well off parents and they helped pay for her college, so not sure what that would have to do with my post.

No. 703878

You literally never worked hard in your life you inbred scum

No. 703886

I am flabbergasted how she's so popular too. I guess people really enjoy laughing at fat whores.
I'm extremely relieved she's not talked about here anymore. It's obvious that being posted on gossip sites triggered her to upgrade from bloodletting to getting her legs amputated. I don't want to participate in that horror in any way. She's doing it for spectators. I refuse to be one.

No. 703887

File: 1609144986282.jpg (676.95 KB, 320x180, wdFlpJc.jpg)

I know I just made a post about my brother a few days ago, but I just came to a realization about him.

Could it be that what he wants is a brother? We have an older brother, but he is barely in the house, our father died years ago and we don't spend much time with other family members. I said this because, just a few weeks ago he had a slumber party with his male ex-classmates, and I can swear, he hasn't been that happy with neither my mom or me, ever since a long time ago. He was laughing and having a fun time. That made me remember one of his birthdays, where he wasn't happy at all when we gave him the meal he asked for but when his friend came over, he suddendly was into the mood to celebrate. While mildly disappointed, I just thought that it happened because he was his friend; but then I got told by our mom that he may need another male figure in his life. I always believed that he thought that I was enough of a family to be seeing as someone he could trust on, but I am begining to fear that I may not be enough. Besides, he has made derogatory comments about me being a girl before.

I always wonder how different my life could have been if I were born as a guy, what kind of person I could have become, but now I can't stop thinking that if I were a man, maybe my brother would treat me less coldly, maybe he could like me more as another friend of his.

I know this is stupid, I don't want to believe that the reason he has been acting so badly is because of that, but I can't help but wonder if we could get a better relationship if I wasn't a girl.

I just want to go back when we were younger and we could have fun together.

No. 703890

Ok. And? Parents should help their kids go to college. Why are you acting like this is a bad thing?

No. 703891

Wealthy people are more attractive on average. Seethe more, poorcel

No. 703894

citation needed

No. 703900

Go to a grocery store in a wealthy town and then one in your dumpy little lower class town. There is a lot less obesity and unfortunate bone structure among the rich

No. 703901

I didn't? Read >>703866. I literally never said it was a bad thing anons parents helped her go to school.

No. 703903

Anon, how much do you make? You're either a broke pickme for wealthy people, or a wealthy person who strangely cares way too much about way anonymous imageboard people have to say

No. 703909

You can’t say any of this IRL without some inbred poor with FAS or a recessed chin physically attacking you

No. 703910

You sound like my relatives who think homeless people don’t deserve help because they didn’t try hard enough or are just lazy lmao most rich people already had a leg up like you and it’s a privilege in the first place because many people can’t afford an education/have to work full time during. Poverty is also more complex than “you should’ve invested in stocks instead of spending 20 bucks on some beer” as if the issue starts and ends with how people spend their minimum wage.
Reminds me of those “how to get rich” videos that bootlick because they somehow believe that they can also become Elon Musk with that attitude and poor people are only poor because they buy stupid things to show off.

No. 703912

If you mean ‘lucky’ in the sense they were born with above average intellect or some other skill most poors lack, then sure

No. 703913

I'm sorry your being oppressed by poor people
>Only wealthy people are intelligent

No. 703914

Haha I’m not continuing with this retarded trolling shit. Please go enjoy your mansion and fancy rich people perks because you just happened to be born genetically better than the rest of us.

No. 703919

Ok. Sorry for having intelligent parents who worked hard and waited until they were mature and financially stable enough to raise kids, I guess

No. 703924

Anon you sound like a total sociopath. There is no way you're not an underaged edgelord.

No. 703926

You sound like your parents made dumb decisions

No. 703933

you are your parent's dumb decision

No. 703935

More like yours. I wonder why your parents cant afford your college. Almost like they weren’t ready to have you. Almost like you were an accident..

No. 703939

No. 703942

>Almost like they weren’t ready to have you. Almost like you were an accident..
the projection, is larping as a rich person on lolcow your way of coping with this? let it out anon, i'm here for you.

No. 703943

You're literally sitting in this thread waiting to fight with every anon the second they reply to your post. Pls stop larping as a rich person and actually go make some money.

No. 703945

I do day trading and live off investments. Seethe more. You poorcels are hilarious(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 703946


Male incel detected

No. 703947

Question: are your "less well off friends" middle class or also lower class? The posts are bizarre because we know you would never talk to lower class people. + middle class is not poor like you imply.

No. 703948

Oooohh I see. Do you also sell $100+ classes to "coach" people on how to get rich quick?

No. 703959


Are we supposed to feel bad for you or..? This entire post is so fucking tone deaf, especially when there are probably anons that are struggling to make ends meet because of the pandemic. Make some rich friends or get over it.

No. 703964

File: 1609152478214.jpeg (18.59 KB, 180x320, 4ADF7804-2978-4211-A77A-B0036B…)

nta, lmao at “because of the pandemic”. Just admit your braindead parents screwed the pooch and failed to give you a more comfortable life

No. 703975

I recently realized that fear is the main motivator in my life. I always act out of wanting to avoid a negative situation or out of fear that someone is going to be mad at me

No. 703980

File: 1609153616761.jpg (24.96 KB, 336x336, JustStopBeingPoor.jpg)

>It's not my fault their parents are poor losers
Yeah, its obviously the fault of the kids who were born and raised to be wage slaves in a country with horrible and decreasing upwards mobility (assuming because this post sounds American as fuck). Plenty of rich people buy exactly the same vices and the only reason they can afford to get away with their shitty choices is their parents. Boo-hoo, so sorry people keep disrespecting the baller life choices you were able to make with your generational wealth. You are clearly the victim here. There there. Dry your tears, perhaps with some of daddy's cash

No. 703989

They won't listen kek. They see luck as something that's your responsibility, if you have good luck it's an achievement and if you have bad luck it's your fault.
>Have you tried being born to different parents?

No. 703997

Not that serious of a vent, but I swear if it doesn't snow this year for me, I'll riot. I hate my home country and wouldn't hesitate renouncing my citizenship any second, but where I live right now I still feel like some husky in Nairobi or so because I haven't had actual snow in about ten years and feel like I'm withering away. December is not supposed to reach 10°C. Stop that.

No. 703999

File: 1609155722129.jpg (61.25 KB, 609x668, 1533051005520.jpg)

You sound so stupid and arrogant. At this point I think this is a bait, nobody can be that oblivious I hope.

No. 704023


This is obviously bait, but the fact that you’re sitting here and replying to some randoms on lolcow is hilarious.

No. 704025

I really wish my mother would stop saying “Anon, nobody thinks that! Nobody’s saying that!” in an attempt to make me feel better when I vent because it just makes me feel crazy. If nobody holds those opinions then why have people said those things to my face? Why do I constantly read them everywhere online? I know the solution is to stop caring what people think but it would still be nice to be able to vent once in a while without being told I’m making it all up.

No. 704027

nayrt but all that resentment won't make you rich. life is unfair and that's the way it is.

No. 704038

Same here

No. 704067

you must truly live in a bubble if this is what you believe adds up kek. retarded.

No. 704095

I get it but most in the "having a functional family part"

>It's not my fault and i'm not to blame because you are the result of a one night stand which forced your parents ( who are both unstable irresponsible assholes before that) into an shitty "marriage" which led to an inevitable divorce. And stop justifying every bad decision that you made in your life even after you made 18 on your shitty upbringing, I'm not obligated to deal with your bulshit behaviours because mommy and daddy made an opsie on raising you

No. 704099

How come every girl whiteknight when her nudes get leaked hates me

Are they just pickmeishas or what? They make me misogynistic

No. 704100

Also should I stop caring about other women and their leaked nudes when they’re traumatized?
Idk it never turns out good for me when I defend thots, I’m just their free tampon and then they toss me away

No. 704103

seems like it may not be your wealth that people dislike you for

No. 704118

God I wanna suck on her pits(ban evading scrote)

No. 704124

Similar thing happens to me. I stick my neck out for women in my mutual circles who claim harassment and give them encouraging words, only to find out they deleted me off socials later???
The only conclusion I can come to is that they think I'm nose deep in drama (despite never posting anything drama related on my socials) and am two faced or something. Maybe I'm just an emotional tampon who comes to know too much about them and they think they need to get rid of me. Obviously I get put on the shitlists of the people they're accusing for siding with their victims, only to somehow make it on the victim's shitlists too for no actual reason or offense.

It's somewhat irritating but I don't know what there is to be done about it. I either look weak or hypocritical for not taking a stand for issues I care about, or I get slapped in the face for it later.

No. 704127

Yikes, I’m so glad I don’t know you in real life. I’m sorry for all of your “friends”. I’m sure they talk shit behind your back anyways.

No. 704129

I've become a bpd's favorite person and it fucking sucks, especially since she's also a NEET and super annoying. I became friends with her because I lowkey felt bad for her, but she is now the most exhausting presence in my life, and I can't shake her. I kind of get why people don't go out of their way to be nice to weirdos now.

No. 704133

Is it okay for me to feel angry over this?
> A family member who doesn't like me ends up being forced to give me a gift on my birthday, the gift itself is obviously meant to be for mother because it's heavily related to her work. She wanted to just come to celebrate my birthday without giving at least a bar of chocolate idk.
> Time passes, its Christmas. I bought nice, thoughftul gifts for everyone, looking at their tastes and lifestyles. For her I bought a cute blanket and box of nice Japanese snacks that also had a cute plush charm in it. I don't like her too much because she's rude, but I think everyone deserves a nice gift and its best to be polite.
> … I end up getting a 3$ notebook from AliExpress. She given 5 gifts to each person in the family in front of me, all of which costed at least 30$. One of the gifts for mother also turned out to be the exact same thing she was forced to gift to me on my birthday.

I felt sad for the rest of the Christmas, because I putted so much effort just to get nothing back. Also everyone, including her knows that I do not use Notebooks so I feel like as if it was done on purpose.

I also wanted Christmas to be family-like, play a boardgame with everyone, but the second I suggested a game she left, along with other person (but with them its understandable, they are not good at english) so in the end I had to play a 5player game with 3 people in total. I just wanted to feel like an actual family because my own is so far away. I hate it.

No. 704135

My mom told me to not sympathize with whores she learnt the hard way she went through similar stuff.
Obviously I shouldn’t refer to them as whores but I’m angry how much I’ve gotten betrayed. I knew it by the sexual abuse threads and the vent threads that the feminists in here are 2faced as fuck.

and if the bitch i ranted about told me to not metoo the guys because they have too much on them…. but why was she ok to throw me in a lion’s den and screencap petty shit i said about the guys who have my info?
Honestly I do not sympathize anymore with women who are like this. Help me anon, what should I do? I’ve helped so many thots who were suicidal but not once have i gotten a reward

No. 704138

>I’ve helped so many thots who were suicidal but not once have i gotten a reward
What reward are you expecting..? Regardless, as for what you should do? Nothing. Ignore them. You have no obligation to take care of people you're not close to, and even if you are close to them, if they're not listening, then fuck em, who cares. You tried. Ignore them, I'm sure you'll feel better.

No. 704143

I never said it was their fault they were born to irresponsible parents? I just said it wasn't mine and it's stupid for them to take their frustration out on people who had more responsible parents.

>Plenty of rich people buy exactly the same vices and the only reason they can afford to get away with their shitty choices is their parents.

I am failing to see the point you are trying to make. My point is, it is financially irresposible (and bad parenting, quite frankly) for parents to be wasting all their extra money on such unneccesarry vices instead of investing it in their child's future. What you're saying is completely irrelevant to that point.

I do acknowledge it's an advantage, but I don't see how it's justifyable or necesarry to resent people, especially your friends, over getting help paying for college? And yes, the friends my OP is about DO devalue my success. They don't just acknowledge that parental help is an advantage, they straight up devalue everything I've accomplished or decions I made. And they get angry over me merely existing around them wearing nice things or driving a nice car. Like, they're letting their misplaced anger get in the way of our friendship.

Also, not trying to be snarky, but just so you know- you're using the word neoptism wrong. Neopotism is when you're given favorable treatment that you wouldn't otherwise get, because your parent is an authority figure. For example- if your dad is a CEO and hires you for a job you are underqualified for, just because your his kid.

No I don't and nothing about my post implies I do unless you're REALLY oversensitive.

No, you're not supposed to feel bad for me. I'm venting about something that bothers me… because this is a vent thread. Also, this is not new to the pandemic.

Also, I wanna clarify that this >>703701 was my last post and none of the other anons replying to anyone since then are me.

No. 704145

Well a small thank you for listening to them
Maybe even a smallfriendship
Or if that’s too much asked
Well enough for not getting my messages forwarded to the guys that give no shit about her trauma
She even screencapped that shit on snapchat secretly and I don’t get why she did that.
But you’re right. I’m gonna just be more selective about my circles. Those people are not gonna make me a misogynist.

No. 704147

Lmao, they sound like an underage edgelord sociopath, but not the person saying they should have their head chopped off?

Bitter poorfagism is one strong mental disorder.(infighting)

No. 704148

I am so frustrated.
I keep getting sick and I dont know why. Some part of me is always in pain. I've gathered up courage to go to doctors in the past. They take a blood sample and tell me everything is fine so I just have to deal with it. One doctor said my blood work was abnormal and just fucking left it at that. Refused to do more tests.
Now it has been 3 times in the last 2 months were I have had these spells where I am super weak and all over body aches, sometimes headache. Last time I got tested for covid and it was negative.
I'm going to try to go to the doctor again but, god, I just know they are going to tell me I'm making it up again. Idk, am I fucking stupid and it is all in my head?
I've been calling out of work for this shit and I have no answers. I hate everything. I'm always struggling and frantically trying not to drown. I don't know if I can keep doing this.

No. 704149

Oh that makes sense! But yeah, not really worth looking for. You can't force friendships from kindness, especially from people who seem to have different priorities/lifestyle choices from you. Especially whore stuff kek. Choosing friends that don't do this kind of thing will be better in the long run, good luck anon. Don't stress about them anymore if you can help it.

No. 704150

I can see why you're annoyed, but hey you did your duty and satisfied your conscience for this year. Next year you know to just give a thoughtful card with nothing in it.

I keep getting scrooged by my cousin every year. This year I sent a $20 gift card with a nice card and all I got was a crappy card that her parents obviously sent with nothing much written in it. So I decided next year a thoughtful card will suffice because spending $5 to buy a card and pay for postage is no skin off my bones. I used to enjoy spoiling her with Lush giftsets and Starbucks cards, but she's past 20 now, employed, and is fully capable of reciprocating my efforts if she really wanted to but she doesn't.
Maybe my mother who I went no contact with is poisoning the well in regards to my relationship with relatives but regardless I'm done feeling bad about them. I only give what I can logically expect to give back. That system doesn't tend to disappoint me.

No. 704151

Anon, just replying to say you're not alone, I have gone through this as well and am currently debating whether I should bother going to the doc for ongoing stomach issues myself. If you do go, don't give up on advocating for yourself, especially as a woman. It's well-documented that doctors don't take the medical issues of women very seriously, and that's only more true if you happen to be a woman of color. Best of luck, I really hope you feel better.

No. 704152

Thank you. I was really having a dilemma on my morals, but it makes sense what you’re saying. I guess I should find friends who think like me. I was also scared I’d get harassed so that made me stressed out. But they have nothing on me that makes me a bad person aside from my bad language which I have coz mento. (i’m working on it)
A big relief. I’ll just get focused on my goals. Best wishes to you anon, thank you for giving me a good perspective.

No. 704158

Maybe I'm just petty, but I would ask her to give your gift back, and return the notebook to her. It's clear she dislikes you. In the future maybe you two can just agree to not give gifts to eachother? Maybe asking for the gift back will incite drama but, like I said I'm petty so that's just what I though of.

If she doesn't wanna give the gift back, then maybe you can give it to younger family friend or donate it or something.
You're back?

No. 704160

Thank you! You too!

No. 704178

I’m surprised my sister hasn’t contacted me at all regarding Christmas. I had Christmas Eve off and worked Christmas Day but they didn’t call or text me. I haven’t given my sister, her two kids or my parents their gifts yet and since no one’s said anything about it, or even asked when we can meet up to exchange I’m thinking about returning them all. I know it sounds bitchy and selfish but it’s weird that family with smartphones that are on facebook all day can’t even take a minute to talk to me on a holiday.

No. 704183

I wish I could stop being a self obsessed child and not talk about myself for once. I've gotten better over the years but literally just ended a text conversation probably because I gave a really unneeded personal anecdote and opinion when my friend probably just wanted to vent. I wish I was better at recognizing it.

No. 704184

Murder has always been a part of revolutions, even that beloved by liberals french one.

No. 704201

I agree with this 100% and I don't see how anyone who grew up poor around other poor people can genuinely see them all universally as hardworking down on their luck angels. I've noticed a lot of the putting the poor on a pedestal comes from middle/lower middle class people who haven't actually been heavily exposed to poor people.

Just like with any group, there are some shitty fucking poor people. People who will steal from individuals, even friends or family, people who will spit out as many kids as they please with no fucks given about that child's quality of life, people who will make bad decisions every step of the way but still make where they ended up someone else's fault. Not to mention, tons of poor people are racist AF and vote against their best interests all the time. They will literally vote for politicians who openly want to slash benefits they use.

So yeah. This meme of putting poor people on a pedestal needs to fucking die. A lot of rich people suck and a lot of poor people suck. A lot of people in between suck, too. Your financial situation in no way reflects how good of a person you are.

No. 704211

I will never comprehend the level of smooth brain it takes for you commies to think a violent revolution against the rich in 21st century USA would go down in your favor.

No. 704222

>extremely relieved she's not talked about here anymore
Agreed, and I think this is exactly why farmers aren't going to award her the title of horrorcow, her case is (maybe ironically) too gruesome and extreme. Personally, I could barely even stand to read the descriptions of her body

No. 704226

God the favourite cow options are lame. All of them are boring ass e-thots with identical body horror/twitter meltdown drama to the point I can't tell them apart anymore. And how come borzoi anon wasn't put in the best troll category?

No. 704229

>I guess people really enjoy laughing at fat whores.
Because it's low hanging fruit.
The tears happen when the cow starts to become better than the lolcow audience. Most farmers can not spread their legs while telling the internet about it and maintain an average weight at minimum.

No. 704253

I had to have my cat put down on christmas day

I moved from canada to the USA recently and because of covid i was never able to go get him, so my mom had him.
I didnt leave canada thinking i would never see him again and i remember picking him up and telling him i would come back for him before i left my moms house to get on my flight

He was almost 16 and randomly woke up on christmas howling in pain and i was out doing christmas shit so i didnt answer my moms phone calls for a while and it makes me feel so fucking guilty that his suffering was prolonged because i was busy fucking around and opening presents like an asshole

No. 704256

nobody puts poor people on a pedestal, except for other poor people. literally every group does this for themselves and their peers.
it's not comparable to middle class people simping for billionaires, for example.

No. 704261

how tf is gimpgirl that low?

No. 704262

I don't get it, she's a blast. Maybe because she's a relatively new and slow cow?
I hope she unprivates r/pickmes, I miss her insanity

No. 704263

I’m so sorry anon… life is just like that sometimes. I’m sure you have beautiful memories of your kitty, and that they had a wonderful life with you. Don’t blame yourself for what happened, those things are seldom ever something we can prepare for. I’m sure somewhere in the stars, kitty is waiting for you.

No. 704267

Lowkey, I hope the reason she privated it is because someone ended up doxxing her and calling some sort of child protective services on her ass. That's the best possible scenario, IMO.

No. 704291

I just want some fucking health insurance but I fucking hate that I make "too much" to qualify for subsidized care (almost double the cutoff required, even though I make near minimum wage in my state and can't afford to even move out on my wage). The premiums are somewhat reasonable after the estimated financial help I'm supposed to receive, but the god damn deductibles are in the thousands- what's the point? I'm so fucking frustrated, I hate the American healthcare system, why is it so fucking dogshit? My company finally sorted out the health insurance but they're only contributing $300 towards whatever plan we get… the cheapest plan being almost $700 with deductible being almost $9k. I might as well go through the marketplace so I can get a slightly cheaper premium/very low deductible if I was to pay that premium.

So many of my coworkers say "Well you don't NEED health insurance, you're young and healthy." Ok, but what's so bad about some preventative care? I haven't seen a doctor in years, if I've got some shit bubbling up right now, then I have no fucking idea of it. If I ended up paying for health insurance, I'd end up sacrificing the financial cushion I set for myself and my family. I fucking hate this shit so much.

No. 704292

my roommate is genuinely disgusting. he leaves his clothes on his bathroom floor to get all moldy and gross, hardly ever actually does laundry, and when he does it's typically just him throwing his work clothes in the dryer on "sanitize." motherfucker takes gigantic violent shits and doesn't flush. he sneaks food into his bedroom and leaves the trash to rot on his bed, NEXT TO HIS HEAD, while he sleeps. currently there's the end of a block of cheese sitting on his bed. he just fucking bites into it like a candy bar. he's a gluttonous sloth with a binge eating problem and it doesn't seem like he cares at all, not about himself and his health or how his actions affect the people he lives with

situation is a little more complex than "just kick him out" so i'm venting in the meantime. though we're getting closer and closer to that point as time goes on

No. 704295

I'm sorry, anon. It's gotten really terrible here too and has been progressing worse for years. I've whined about it before, but even working at an insurance company, my rates were $260 a month with a $5 or 6000 deductible per person. They genuinely don't give a shit about anyone in this country. Bootstraps, etc.

No. 704299

people tell me I'm conventionally pretty and they lay out all the reasons and examples and try their best for me to see it objectively but I swear I look deformed and grotesque, I don't know how anyone can look at me and not wonder if I have Habsburg blood in me

No. 704303

You have body dysmorphia, anon.

No. 704308

I would absolutely die if I were you. Godspeed dealing with him until you can kick him out/move away from him, that is SO disgusting.

No. 704311

God I hope not… is it normal for it not to be constant? sometimes I can look at myself and think I look okay. one time I took a selfie, a very rare thing for me, and thought "wow, I don't hate this" and made it my pfp on my socials. I even got some compliments and felt pretty good about it. then again, i woke up the next day and i swear it looked completely different to me. I thought I could push through it and kept it up as "exposure therapy" hoping I could learn to like it again but I was just absolutely miserable every time I'd get a message and see my face.

I also don't think about or obsess over my appearance often… but that's more of a choice to spare myself the grief, I think. as a teen I was always body checking and looking in mirrors and I guess instead of learning to deal with it I just stopped looking at myself entirely so I wouldn't think about it as much. my skin/hair routine has suffered as a result though… making me more insecure about my features… I hate this

No. 704315

I hate that I have OCD and also flipflop about if I've been a victim of CSA. Are my memories false? That's not uncommon for OCD. I ruminate over it which means that it's part of my OCD. The difference is I truly don't know, every other obsession I know it's not true but I need to do compulsions.

It doesn't help penetration legitimately hurts to attempt. Maybe I squeezed my vagina muscles too much and that's what caused this. Can not knowing if you've experienced CSA cause vaginismus? This shit is so frustrating.

I feel like I've regressed or something, I've been looking at shitty traumacore tumblr posts. I'm 20 and way to old be worrying about this stuff.

No. 704316


**Way too old

No. 704325

I don't want to describe what happened today but I cant stand the sight of homeless or just poor and lonely older people, knowing I cant really do much to help them because I'm poor and mentally ill and I always have only a few bucks to spare, I feel guilty, I only have a place to live because I was lucky, I haven't done anything in my life to deserve this, it's not like I'm better at anything than these people. I also see myself in them, I'm scared I will end up like them. do you think that when they were in their 20s they imagined themselves as old and homeless and with their legs rotting because they had no money for diabetes treatment, of course they fucking didn't. sometimes I feel like I cant fucking take it anymore

No. 704338

I feel your pain, anon. I enrolled in a plan through the marketplace but have yet to send payment for the first month because it just seems so pointless. It's truly a fucked if I do, fucked if I don't situation.

No. 704341

Not my family screaming at me and putting me down and telling me not to come out of my room or near them because my coworker tested positive for covid and now everyone is acting like I'm infected because I can't get a test till tomorrow. The district manager even called and said "you weren't in super close proximity with the person who tested for covid and didn't work a lot with them so you probably don't have it" and yet despite me telling everyone that they're now screaming at me to stay in my room. Okay, faggots, you win, you've successfully made me not want to come out, and I already barely interacted with you to begin with. What a way to ruin the day I was supposed to be off work.

No. 704345

I used to be pretty close to my cousin, until she married a giant manchild with a rotten walnut for a brain.

He has no respect for her, and has openly admitted so to everyone who comments on his attitude towards her. If a woman tells him that he's being a giant asshole, he just laughs in their face.

Apparently my cousin married him because she enjoys having someone to mother and take care of (ick). Nevermind that now when they have three actual kids, he's still not holding up his end as a father. Women in my family applaud him on the rare occasion he does change a diaper or put the kids to sleep. My mother knows how much I hate him, and updates me whenever this happens as some sort of "proof" that he actually does care. I'm told to not be rude towards him, nevermind that he can make all the jokes he wants about women and horrible "feminazis" at the dinner table, in front of his kids.

He also made the argument that he can't change his daughter's diapers because seeing her naked makes him feel like a pedophile, which raises enough red flags for me already. I was scolded for telling him how creepy that was. No matter what I say, my comments are constantly shut down by the other women in my family. My cousin just sits in silence and neither agrees or disagrees with anyone, but it's clear that she's depressed because she's stuck in a full time job with four children, two of them toddlers, tons of debt and no savings.

I have barely seen them this year due to the pandemic, but a few of us in the family have a group chat where we post pictures and updates about our lives. My cousin posted a picture of the oven having burnt cheese stuck to the bottom because her husband didn't bother to use a baking sheet for his frozen pizza. I asked why is she cleaning up his mess. He told me to mind my own fucking business, because apparently he doesn't care if the kitchen smells burnt, and if my cousin does - it's her problem to deal with.

I have now blocked him on every social media, and plan to barely talk or look at him whenever we meet in real life. If I'm not allowed to tell him what I think of him, I'm not gonna give him any attention at all.

No. 704347

The most popular cows seem to be the ones that farmers can identify with or have a self-serving reason to tear down (e.g. the e-whores in Shay's threads and jelly weebs in wenus' threads) or drew a lot of new farmers onto the site. GIMPGIRL is so fucking weird that she's hard to identify with and there's no self-esteem boost to be gained from tearing her down; as such, the only farmers that enjoy her are probably the ones that are here just to gawk at trainwrecks and drama.
>Can not knowing if you've experienced CSA cause vaginismus?
If you're hyper-fixated on CSA then yeah. The condition isn't caused by the act of being abused, it's psychosomatic, basically a harm-avoidance behavior gone wrong.

No. 704349

I hate how much my mom encourages codependency in our family. After living at home for covid I'm thinking of distancing myself from the family. Not cutting them off altogether because they aren't abusive or anything, but I just need to get away from an environment that encourages mediocrity. Also my bipolar brother calling my mom every single day this christmas and my mom always putting him on speakerphone makes me want to fucking lose it. What makes her think I want to listen to his depressing complaining about his problems(that are his own fault) I need my own space so bad holy shit fuck these people they raised me to be a joke with no goals. When I was 21 I wanted to get out of the house because the living situation was horrible back then, my brother was drunk all the time but my mom kept discouraging me to leave, saying that there was no reason to live on my own, I really just want to tell her that I hate this shitty family bc she doesn't understand why I could possibly want to avoid her and my brothers problems. It's like she wants me to be a depressed loser. I just want to live my life omg

No. 704350

you guys im going to FUCKING KMS BEFORE I DIE OF EMBARRASMENT. I wfh and needed it to solve some issues im so fucking stupid i was on my personal desktop instead of logging in to the work one and they asked me to share my screen and then asked me to open a tab and…………………………… i had to log in to my work email and…………………..so i type the letter t……………….. and my search history was two guys one girl I'M GOING TO CRY I H8 MYSELF SO FUCKING MUCH IT FUCKING RECORDED THAT PROBABLY BC THEY HAVE TO FOR WORK OR SMTHG??????????????????? OMG AND I ALWAYS TALK TO THIS IT PERSON AND JUST WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DID I DO THIS I WISH SOMEONE WOULD BEAT ME SENSELESS RNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

No. 704351

Sis, you think someone working in IT has never seen porn before?

No. 704357

>I have now blocked him on every social media, and plan to barely talk or look at him whenever we meet in real life. If I'm not allowed to tell him what I think of him, I'm not gonna give him any attention at all.
Good for you. The people in your family allowing him to be a giant fucking asshole, the women including your cousin, are at least part of the reason he's so flagrant about being the way he is. It sucks that no one supports you, but he's not worth your time at the very least. Try not to let anyone in your family guilt you into keeping the peace along with them. He's getting plenty of coddling without you and will unfortunately live kek. Fuck that guy.

No. 704358

no but i still dc, i don't want my face and voice associated with the type of porn I watch which btw im not even into mfm threesomes, it was a ONE time thing. i stg in the 10 years i've known of porn I never searched for threesomes, and the one time i do THIS happens. I hope they're the only one that saw and will ever see my search history

No. 704359

One time I copy-pasted a buzzfeed article about One Direction's hairstyles into a patient's medical chart. It will be forgotten, I promise you poor thing. But yeah, that fucking sucks, and I hope you can laugh at it someday.

No. 704360

omg LOL thank you anon, it hurts to laugh rn

No. 704363

So damn cringy when people use hashtags with their pwn name like # jessiecooking or #steph living who cares?? Do you think one single person will follow this?

No. 704364

Called my mother for the first time since Christmas (spent it apart) and she kept slipping hints into the conversation implying she hadn’t been alone. I don’t engage with that shit anymore but eventually she mentioned the man by name. Her ex who stole her car plus loads of money. An upgrade from the ex who almost killed her multiple times but regardless, this woman is retarded and being related to her scares me.

No. 704368

>google "I think my IT guy uses my computer to watch porn"
>tell IT guy you're having issues
>share screen
>make sure he understands the implicit threat

No. 704370

if it makes you feel any better, the IT guy probably watches even more degenerate porn.

No. 704372

I spent my whole life allowing people to put me down or allowing myself to be the butt of every joke because I want people to feel happy/good about themselves. People get along when they're bullying a single person. So I just allowed myself to be that person. And now that I'm alone in life, I realize why it was a shitty idea to do that.

God I'm so autistic.

No. 704375

lololl I like to think I typed fast enough for them not to have read anything but i dunno. I'm actively trying to quit porn too I don't want to watch porn and even if it's vanilla, all porn is degenerate and not something I want anyone to know i watch because it's as if I support it.

I feel better now though lol

No. 704377

I also think that gimpgirl is too consistent and unapologetic to really keep anon's attention. She's batshit crazy but nothing ever changes with her. Other cows try to lie and hide the worst parts of themselves, so the best milk is when they get exposed for whatever shit is going on in their lives. Gimpgirl does nothing BUT reveal her worst traits and has done so for a decade, she never hides anything so we never discover anything new, she doesn't have any personal drama for us to sleuth out like Fupa or w/e.

No. 704412

Wow all these choices are shit
I’ll never understand why so many people give a shit about shayna.
Also unrelated but they should really lock that egirls thread or whatever the fuck it is. Seems like it’s just them self posting.

No. 704418

Today I noticed that my lymph node near my left tit is swollen and hurts. Hoping this is just a bullshit viral infection because I really don't feel like going to the doctor.

No. 704423

I hate when people cry about feeling soo ugly and how ~crippling~ it is and then they casually mention their bf / partner / husband. Like, if it was truly crippling you wouldn't even let another person near you. You have no idea how bad it is to truly hate yourself.

No. 704427

File: 1609195708371.png (170.17 KB, 453x451, dfhfdhdfhdfh.png)

I've been sitting on this stupid handheld bidet for a month cause the valve connected to my toilet won't unscrew and it's so close to the wall that I'm hugging the bowl every time I try. I bought like three wrenches already and none of them have the right grip.

So close to paying a plumber an exorbitant amount to install it for me. I just want a clean butt god fucking damn

No. 704430

Punishment for being a coomer lmao. But yeah no don't feel so bad, I'm sure they didn't notice or care much. Once, my male friend went on my laptop, and r/gonewildaudio came up from my history. I swear my soul exited my body for a split second.

No. 704431

I don't hate myself, my self esteem is actually pretty good with a few specific insecurities. But I would STILL feel uncomfortable giving a man a front row seat to my flaws by dating him seriously - like, I feel attractive enough generally but when it comes to getting naked and being touched, it's too confronting. I keep putting off dating until I lose a few more kg even though I'm already pretty slim, idk how fat or bad bodied people (who aren't super confident) can stand to have sex because I'm too self conscious about my imperfections as is.

There are lots of women who seem to get legitimate self esteem boosts from male attention though, I rarely trust a man's compliments but maybe if you're willing to believe them it's possible to both hate yourself and want a guy around.

No. 704442

File: 1609198011272.jpg (112.75 KB, 476x492, Socket.jpg)

Would something like this help?

No. 704455

I've spent the holidays with my big sister and she sometimes act like a bully. Always making remarks and talking over me. I'm so done, thank God i only see her once a year
That sounds petty but I'm sure she's jealous because she's a whale twice my weight and can't lose it since she eats twice as much as me
I want her to lose the weight since I still love her. She shouldn't be bitching that I'm eating two cookies in the afternoon anyway, she's 30 ffs

No. 704468

My bf did something super cunty with plausible deniability that he's just an oaf. But it felt like he tested me or basically did something on purpose so I wouldn't ask for his help again.
I drove my car with him to pick up a sushi order. He didn't want any. I realized going out to the car that the server got my roe nigiri order wrong and rang it as sashimi, so the roe sat precariously on these dumb cucumber boats. It was super busy and I didn't want to wait inside while they remade it. I explained and asked bf to be super careful cause it was two containers stacked on top of each other. When we got to the apartment, before getting out of the car I reminded him to be careful. He just looked at me so slow? As in he couldn't comprehend that I had asked him to carry the food up. It's like the wheels in his head were turning and making decisions about something. I grabbed his thermos for him and was waiting for him to open his door and get out so I could lock my car. He didn't hold the bag by the plastic handles, he held it by the sides as he fumbled. I didn't want to tell him what to do cause I thought he had his grip. I didn't want to be a naggy mommy and tell him how one gets out of a car and holds a bag. It was like he forgot how to do both but he finally unbuckled, opened the door, and turned to motion to get out. So I turn to my side to get out and I hear my damn sushi container drop and spill out to the pavement after I just cautioned. Really?!
Half of the roe spilled to the road and the rest was in a pool at the bottom of the container.
I was really mad. He's all like "I'll pay you back!" So what? $8? I make free homecooked food for you almost every night dude, and sometimes I even make free lunch for you to take to work. I just asked you to be competent for a minute and you failed that. I stormed away with my sad carry out bag and he follows me behind saying "This is why you shouldn't trust me with these things." How convenient, so this is all actually my fault! So I said how yeah, I won't be trusting him to do shit for me anymore if that's his excuse.

I feel like he was trying to test a script with me. Like he wanted me to mollycoddle him and tell him that wasting half my food was okie dokie cause it was just an assident, with the added bonus of me subvertly never asking for his help (aka shit he doesn't want to do) ever again lest this be the consequence. But fuck it. I'm glad I was upset and told him exactly how I felt, he should feel a little bad. I'm still gonna ask him for help if I need it and be real shitty if he gives me trouble about small shit like helping me carry a fucking bag. Call me a bitch, idc.

No. 704473

now that i'm at a good weight, and my skin is clear… i'm realizing how incredibly asymmetrical my face is!

the moral of the story is that insecurity never fucking goes away, anons, so don't sweat it too much

No. 704477

looool ikkkkk and yeah thankfully it wasn't irl or idk, maybe I would've had a stroke. I'm quiting cold turkey

No. 704483

Miss being (at least partially) anonymous on the internet. I was using my friend's laptop to google something and the first website suggestion was a link to my old Tumblr (with my stupid personal diary type shit). Had never told her I even had a Tumblr but she found it anyway, which kind of spooked me off of there. When I started dating my boyfriend he asked to follow my Twitter - we both follow a lot of online personality types so it would have been inevitable that he'd ask & there way no way to deny it. Not like I had anything incriminating on there but I just liked the separation of my IRL & online life.

It just feels weird that I can't shout into the void of the internet anymore. There's always at least 1-2 people I know IRL following me at any time and I just don't want people knowing about all my fucking breakdowns.

Re-made some new accounts blocking everyone I know but I think the joy of early 2010s internet anonymity will never return for me. At least there's lolcow.

No. 704514

I miss not being on the internet all the time. Tbh I think I’m gonna make it a New Years goal to spend less time online and work on my shit. It’ll probably stop me from impulse buying too

No. 704526

Omg I feel so frustrated for you! He needs to straighten up anon. I came here because I have a similar gripe about my bf,

Today my bf offered to help me set up an irrigation system,I explained to him 3 times how to lay out tubing because it's crucial to lay it out in a certain way, & he manages to still fuck it up. Then when I reprimand him about messing it up& setting us so far back,he says it's my fault for 'not watching him.' like, you're a grown ass man! How is it my doing if you can't take direction?

No. 704528

I'm in my late twenties and realizing that I would love to have children, but I don't think I'm going to meet a man that's good enough for me

No. 704537

Nice gaslighting. People will absolutely be mean to you irl if they find out you’re wealthy than them, even if you’ve been nothing but nice to them

No. 704545

What are your criteria for 'good enough'?

No. 704549

I feel this. hard to find a guy you enjoy being around who isn’t a loser in other ways. Like if you want kids and don’t feel like a single mom, you need a guy who is responsible and ready for that.

I’ve only dated guys my age though. Maybe the natural solution is to go a little older to find guys who (supposedly) have their shit together a little more.

No. 704552

smart, attractive, ambitious, reliable, responsible, respectful, shares similar goals and worldview to mine, is not a cumbrain degenerate. I don't have impossible standards, the problem is that the clock is ticking

Yeah it's exactly that. The other aspect is that the pandemic makes it almost impossible to meet new people, so I feel even more intensely like I'm losing time

No. 704558

>Maybe the natural solution is to go a little older to find guys who (supposedly) have their shit together a little more.
Decent guys with their shit together want women their own age, if you go for an older man you should expect to get dumped for a younger woman once you age out.

No. 704563

I'm assuming anon was suggesting a modest age gap of like 5 years. It's reasonable to think that a 25 year old is at a different stage and level of maturity in life than a 30 year old

No. 704568

Yea exactly, I meant more like 5 years. I would be weary of anything much more because that’s not the type of relationship I want.

Regarding large age gaps though, it’s often transactional to begin with. Woman uses man for money/connections, man using her for youth. So inevitably when woman gets replaced, it’s not like some huge heartbreak because she never truly loved the man.

No. 704570

I’m dying, why the fuck is laughing giving me asthma, make it stop.

No. 704574

Those are totally 100% reasonable criteria; I was expecting something ridiculous. Where have you been meeting guys? Back in school I sat in on a visiting lecturer's talk about the internet and relationships; apparently for a little while online relationships had a much higher chance of success because people were bonding in special interest groups, but dating apps (which were emerging at the time) were erasing the gains because people on dating apps connect over superficial stuff that doesn't predict relationship success rather than over shared interests and values. You could try going to special interest meet-ups and trying to meet someone through one of those. I'm sure there are plenty of great guys out there who would be interested in you, and it's not like you're an old hag. My MIL is a wonderful woman who had to wait until her mid-30's until she managed to meet the right man, and by all accounts he was an all-around amazing person too.

No. 704575

NTA but have you ever lived with a man? You sound kind of naive. A guy could check all the boxes then you move in and he’s a porn addicted degenerate or has some other issue that wasn’t obvious from merely going out on dates and living apart

No. 704576

>constantly lethargic
>take B12 vitamins
>feel more awake than I have in years
>break out again
So I can either be miserable or be miserable. Love it.

No. 704587

I'm opposed to using dating apps for this reason, I think it's important for there to be some element of chance in falling in love. Dating apps tend to sterilize the process and reduce it to superficiality like you said. It feels too much like creating a resume for prospective love/hookups. Not shitting on people who use them, everyone's got their reasons.

No. 704595

I've been in the same relationship for nearly a decade. You obviously won't know what somebody is really like until you move in with them, but you can mitigate risk, i.e. make good decisions about who to invest your time in before then. If you're so worried about shacking up with a loser that you either don't use good judgment in determining who to date or avoid dating then you're going to end up screwed or alone.
You're doing the right thing imo. It's way better to bond organically than to flip through a bunch of men in search of someone who meets a shallow set of criteria and meet up with them in hopes that they're not shitty.

No. 704597

I feel so fucking boring cause me and my friends don’t travel, but also most of my friends are broke and have never been on a plane before. Ive traveled extensively with my family but I’m reaching the age where it’s getting uncool, I keep meeting people from college who live in more well-off areas than I do so they and their friends go on 2+ vacations per summer, including out of country. Am I just friends with the wrong people? Do I need to find richer friends? But also not thrilled with this guy I’m seeing planning an out-of-state trip during covid, I shouldn’t even feel boring for not traveling with friends during a fucking pandemic cause hello, who knows what 6 months from now is gonna look like.

No. 704600

I deliver pizza, I work for a chain that's pretty widespread/well known. Anyway, as I was walking back to my car after a delivery, some guy yelled out from his car "Get a real job!" at me. I'm just confused. I didn't know some people thought food delivery wasn't valid work? Like yeah, it's not the hardest job on the planet, but I'm barely getting paid anyway so what the fuck do you care?

No. 704608

maybe theres nothing wrong with my pen and I dont have as much fun getting high anymore simply because I'm not a 21 year old college student away from home for the first time and moving out when things get "better" won't change that either

No. 704609

im so tired of my father in law watching porn outside of private browsing. I really dont need to know he was watching saggy indian tits or african maid services white man porn when I type in the search bar

No. 704610

clear his history. just wipe the entire internet history. delete it all

No. 704612

Reading this made me have a flashback of the time when me and my friend were watching some anime shit on her computer as kids and she clicked around in the folders and suddenly some porn video came up of a guy pounding some woman on a sofa and she was like 'oops…I think that's my dad's'. Cue uncomfortable silence

No. 704614

So you’ve been dating almost 10 years and you’re unmarried? If you’re looking for marriage, that’s a huge red flag, bub

No. 704616

That reminds me of my abusive older cousin who would steal my 3ds to watch porn/lol I hentai on it and cum on it fuck him

No. 704617

Ironically delivery and food production jobs are some of the few available jobs during a pandemic?

No. 704623

I do that but he watches porn every other day. I added a parental blocker to motivate him to watch porn in private browsing but he just switched to another browser instead (that really shows it)

No. 704625

As long as you accomplish tasks and get money for it it's a job, fuck that guy.

No. 704645

this reminds me when I was a housekeeper and some old scrote pointed to me and told his wife loudly "such a mindless job". like dude wtf I'm just trying to get a paycheck

No. 704650

We're getting married within the next few weeks and most likely trying for a kid this year; we mutually decided to take it slow due to grad school and career shit. Marriage wasn't something either of us were too concerned about until a family member started dying and became upset that he would never get to see one of the family millennials get married and start families.

No. 704661

I saw another anon mention this a while ago when I was searching it, but it's too late to reply now, so here I am

Anyone saw those devacurl hair damage videos by Ayesha Malik? I saw those when they came out, and it's sad and all, but something about her rubs me the wrong way. She's just so melodramatic and talks in a way like no one could possibly understand her pain, because her hair was sooo much prettier than anyone else's. Maybe I'm reading too much into her presentation. BUT, the part that pissed me off, was her saying she's going to have to cut off all her hair/shave her head, before disappearing for months. Then a youtube friend of hers, India Batson, actually played a voicemail from Ayesha saying she had to shave her head - meaning, she had, at that point, ALREADY shaved her head. Then she pops up, a few months later, to show how her hair was perfectly back to normal - still long and barely changed.

I mean, lots of girls/women listened to her and used devacurl because Ayesha promoted it, then stopped using it because she said it was damaging her hair - so she knows her influence over her audience. But she blatantly lies and said she cut off all her hair, which was probably imitated by some of her viewers who thought they needed to do that to grow back healthy hair? That's so fucking disingenuous and stupid. Ughhh I don't even have curly hair I don't know how I got so invested in this drama

No. 704693

File: 1609238063314.png (1.78 MB, 1125x1040, Epna9sBW8AAxG8T.png)

when I was a housekeeper (I'm a highly educated immigrant, literally nobody here wants to hire immigrants where I live unless it's to work in fast food or cleaning firms) people used to treat me like garbage and assume I'm stupid just because I speak with an accent and work as a housekeeper. We also operated on a review-based system so even if someone was an absolute cunt to you and gave you a shit rating, you had to be nice or they would complain to your supervisor.

at some point a rich fucking woman who lived in a literal mansion hired me for 1 hour to clean her mirrors and threw a tantrum when I didn't also clean the floors. the house was spotless, there was nothing else to clean, because another cleaner had been there that day (she didn't like how she left streaks on the mirrors so she hired me). she called me stupid, I told her if she's so much smarter than me she should be able to clean her own floors and mirrors.

people who have never had to work a day in their lives love to shit on min wage workers because they know that will never be them.

No. 704696

I’ve made posts venting about this same thing but it’s bothering me so much. I just realized that in high school my relationship was incredibly psychologically abusive and it’s so fucking enraging. All i wanted was love and i was traumatized. It makes me want to destroy his reputation and ruin his fucking life but I won’t do that of course. I’m just feeling such rage, discomfort, and disgust right now. He texted me a long apology message a couple days ago (he still has my # for some reason) and I sent a short nice reply because I felt pity for him but I should’ve been so much harsher. Fml I just wanted love and I was fucking manipulated and gaslit.

No. 704698

>It makes me want to destroy his reputation and ruin his fucking life but I won’t do that of course
Why not? It's what he deserves.

No. 704699

People that think people with accents are also mentally retarded infuriate me. My mother has a very thick accent and sometimes messes up some difficult conjugations, and people think she's stupid. She's more educated than 80% of this country, and has better spelling and a broader vocabulary than 90% of natives, but she only gets hired in tourism, which is dead now. Watching her go back to job hunt has been hurtful for both her and me.

No. 704703

I would say not being lethargic beats some skin irritations that nobody but you will ever care about

No. 704704

Earthquake! I'm scared

No. 704708

Phew it's over. I'm shook. Literally and figuratively.

No. 704710

I would do it if he wasn’t underage the whole time he psychologically abused me. If he was an adult then I’d fuck him up.

No. 704711

Same, shit was scary

No. 704727

I'm in a filthy isolation room in a psych ward and won't be allowed into gen pop until the 1st. I've been locked in here 10 days already because I tested positive for COVID… Which I caught in hospital. I'm not allowed to use communal areas like the shower so I'm filthy and the toilet is prison-style.
Another inpatient got into my room and woke me up by trying to fist me about a week ago and the hospital got the police involved and she keeps hanging out outside my room chatting with everyone. I wish she would just fuck off.
I've got nerve damage in my leg which leaves me a screaming wreck at night and neither the physio nor the pain clinic know what to do. I'm on paracetamol, ibuprofen and codeine four times a day and amitriptyline at night but it doesn't even touch it. The nurse last night did a full on "I pray to the father that this body be healed" thing rather than give me some tramadol. It was actually really nice of her but still.
My family didn't call on Christmas because it's emotionally l"too hard" to talk to me.
I haven't seen home in nearly a month. I miss my dogs.
I start gabapentin tonight. I hope that fixes the pain at least.

No. 704732

idk where to put this i just wanna bitch about someone i knew and not care if i sound like a whiney baby.

she was an uwu ana-chan qween in highschool but recently trooned out as a “gay trans man” and cut off all her hair and started dressing as a man. then less than a year later decided she was a “they/them” and came full circle back to wearing women’s clothes and makeup. like what was the fucking point? were you traumatized that the trans man you were with in highschool managed to ditch you for a cis man? did it make you feel inadequate as a woman? no wonder she’s a fucking neet.
she always had something as a “gotcha!” whenever someone would try to call her out on her shit. oh she’s having trouble at home, or she’s just hangry bc she’s poor and doesn’t have anything to eat and totally not bc she’s anorexic, wah she tried to kill herself so you call her out on how totally manipulative it is, and now it’s you can’t say anything bad bc otherwise you’re transphobic.
she was so melodramatic and over the top in highschool so it’s nice to see she hasn’t changed. always needing the spotlight to be on her. whats more is that she’s been travelling and having friends over during a fucking lockdown so i’m not surprised she’s still the entitled self centered brat that i knew growing up. apparently everyone else she keeps around her is also either braindead or scared of her rage bc all she gets is asspats on her socials, no matter how far she travels outside of the bubble.

No. 704735

So this bitch at work… calls and says she'll be late because she can't find her car keys, then never shows up. I get called in and miss my date with my spouse. She shows up 2 days later and says "my kids hid my phone and keys" then describes on detail her "interrogation" of said kids. You dumb bitch.. for one liars ALWAYS ALWAYS over describe situations they are lying about. They want to make it believable so they think details help. 2.. and this is important.
We all know your boyfriend got out of jail and your ass was trashed. Like, the fuck even. I fucking hhhaaatteee dumb bitches like that.
So glad I'm going to school without any of them knowing. It's going to be sweet putting my 2 weeks in knowing it will fuck them over.

No. 704736

i see my bf once a week or something like that, we're in a new relationship, and it's usually when his house is empty. i consider myself to have a fairly low libido but whenever we're together i just wanna fuck and i get all drowsy, sleepy, soft, don't feel like talking or doing much else other than fucking or cuddling or kissing. i feel like i'm annoying him with how physical i get but i can't help it. idk i just wish he'd be just as affectionate when we see each other

No. 704737

I’m so fucking mad i can’t fucking take it and i have no way to release it. FUCK. I was mistreated so badly and put through such hell and I missed out on the chance to tell the person who caused it to go fuck themselves. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

No. 704740

Why tf do I let myself be photographed when I KNOW seing myself in picture is a guarantee mental breakdown? I wish I didn't give a fuck, but being faced with how ugly I am makes me wanna cry every single time.

No. 704741

That's a fuck buddy, anon.

No. 704742

The thing is that this person won't care. If they fucked you over, they probably aren't bothered/were shitty in the first place. I hope you can move forward and not let this person live in your head, they don't deserve it. It's cathartic to let it out, but they definitely don't deserve to hear from you.

No. 704743

how is it a fuck buddy? we talk for hours each day and he explicitly told me he's my bf

No. 704751

File: 1609252215015.jpg (1.52 MB, 2048x1586, tumblr_99da8ed646e53f7ae38610b…)

I think that if you're not feeling well in a group or place you should not leave, you should insist until things are good. But everybody says the opposite, that you should leave and forget? It's frustrating. I want to win them over.

No. 704755

>I want to win them over
I mean that's the problem. You can't force people to like you, and the more you try, the less they probably will. Also, if a single person is trying to change the dynamic/rules/general vibe of an established group, they're likely not going to win or will be heavily disliked. It really is best to just move on from something that isn't working for you and find your place and people instead.

No. 704779

Everybody has different things they consider "good" and that they feel well with. Staying and forcing your own version of it on everybody else is pretty scummy.

No. 704780

Idk but your reply is so funny

No. 704809

i wish i was a man. not in a tranny way, i just don't wanna be a woman anymore.

No. 704812

I had a really nice romantic dream about a boy that has a girlfriend and it's made me grumpy. I actually had a fling with this guy years ago and he probably said the most romantic shit I ever heard in my life at the time but it didn't work out. I feel like my subconscious is bullying me

No. 704814

Same, anon, same

No. 704818

when I'm old or sick I want to die in a hospital alone. taking care of a family member while watching them slowly die in the home you share is so horrible. I don't ever want to do that to my loved ones…

No. 704821

File: 1609262316419.jpeg (109.58 KB, 1038x836, 1607382500589.jpeg)

I wish I could get plastic surgery, but everyone around me is against it. My boyfriend said that he loves how I look and that he thinks it's unattractive and unnecessary to get plastic surgery. While I'm really happy that he loves me the way I am, I am probably average or slightly below average (I kinda look similar to Kirsten Stewart… or Venus but with a longer face, fuller lips and less mousy) and could go for a nose job and some lip fillers. Probably never will and will try to love myself more, but damn, I could look so much better.

No. 704825

Plastic surgery isn't worth it in most cases. A lot of people who get it either regret it or later on need to get it fixed and dump more money into it to remove it because it warps over time.

Instead focus on working out, drinking water, using carmex. (I like putting on a little carmex before I sleep and then waking up to naturally plumped lips) Selfcare/working out is more healthy for you and you can look so much better inside out and feel good about it.

No. 704826

Kristen Stewart is hot anon, ur good. But forreal, don't let the current plastic surgery trend(s) get you. I'm sure you'll feel better about yourself in the future/be happy you didn't mess with your face, BUT I also relate. I fucking hate my nose/think it's big and would get a nosejob if I could even though literally no one in my life agrees. We'll get through it.

No. 704843

invest this money in a trip instead anon !

No. 704845

Definitely. But beyond that, I've started feeling like I experienced enough romance over the past 10 years that I'm now losing interest in the idea of being in a relationship with a man, and gaining more interest in motherhood. I know I'm still young and my feelings could change, but I'm seriously considering the possibility of having children as an independent mother in the future

No. 704855

i want to be wholly loved and cherished in a way that leaves no doubt and no worry. i work so hard to be this person, loving and generous and attentive, i want the same for myself.

No. 704856

I feel so sick and I'm in so much pain. Virus notwithstanding, I wish someone loved me enough to visit me in the hospital. I wish I hadn't spent Christmas here alone. I wish I wasn't going to spend NYE here alone. I don't know what there is left outside the hospital for me.

No. 704857

get a dog

No. 704860

sending you good vibes anon ! that must fucking suck, and i'm sorry noone can visit you. i was in this situation once and it broke my heart, but over christmas i can't even imagine… i'm sure you'll meet people that when you tell them about the 2020 holidays, wish they could have known you them to visit you. in the mean time i hope you recover quickly. hang in there !

No. 704904

File: 1609273840101.gif (68.75 KB, 250x224, 223CD70E-4E54-40ED-B5B9-CE956C…)


Card from me to you. Print it out and put it on your bedside table. Make sure to use gif paper.

No. 704907

Fuck you Mitch McConnell, I hope someone punches you in your snood turkey neck

No. 704912

File: 1609274578972.gif (1.69 MB, 400x294, 1492799053478.gif)

I know and hate this feeling

No. 704921

Fuck my neighbor. His boomer ass has a huge pile of wood in his yard but he's still obsessed with cutting down trees. We told him the pine tree by our house wasn't in our way, it wasn't leaning, it was healthy as fuck plus it was a giant, who knows how many years it took to grow. He doesn't listen to us. Come home to the beautiful tree cut down. His hillbilly friends are chain sawing it up. Now we get to listen to them do that the entire week and weekend. They're scaring my chickens with the noise. And now we have less privacy. Everyone who drives by will be able to see into our windows and backyard. Theres a huge gap between the other pine tree and the big bush beside the road, it's hideous, I don't want to look at that retards house anymore than I already have to. And he was talking about cutting down the smaller trees on the property line so that will probably be next. This guy claims him and his wife love the woods in the back but he's always destroying it. All summer he kept mowing down more and more of it. Claims they love the stray cats but won't get them fixed. He's so fucking annoying.

No. 704940

good family friend died of covid after 3 days of being hospitalized, strongest earthquake in recent history hit my country and we are all afraid there's more to come. i'm just done. have to study if i plan on graduating but i can't do anything. 2020 can't get worse.

No. 704988

I'm really sorry for your loss anon, I know it won't change anything but I wishing you good luck for 2021. Sometimes focusing on school can be a good escape but it's normal to take time for yourself, take care

No. 705009

i wish my partner wouldnt get upset when i ask for alone time. im a huge introvert and i just want to chill out in silence for once

No. 705013

That sucks ass anon, u sure they jknow what that does to an introvert? Maybe link them a video on the subject

No. 705014

I hate when I say something normal/harmless and people act like I said the worst thing ever. No I'm not embarrassed, move on.

No. 705019

Anon, are you me? Yeah. It’s like the most normal and brief things said can be the most offensive things ever. Maybe we’re narc but it could be that h8ers are intimidated by us. Or maybe (you) said something offensive, who knows. Any examples?

No. 705023

I can't give examples, but nothing offensive. I come off as too childish I think.

No. 705028

File: 1609291450143.jpg (78.57 KB, 740x529, 740full-lain-iwakura.jpg)

I just feel so alone, I feel like I don't belong with people at all, im a tard with neuro-developmental issues and its been getting worse as me and people my age grow older, I could pass as just slightly weird when I was 18 but now on my 20s I feel like people just don't have the patience or interest to be around me, truth is no one wants to be around people like me, and online friendships just don't cut it, im really horrible at texting/sending dms frequently enough and I need the real life stimulus.
I have no family, no friends, my job is fine but im not really passionate about it to make it my joie de vivre, I wish I could just die silently and painlessly in my room, why does de the universe allow people like me to exist?

No. 705033

god anon i feel for you so bad, i'm in the same boat. hope it gets better for you.

No. 705036

File: 1609292998148.gif (16.73 KB, 300x300, 27373829292.gif)

I have a sneaking suspicion my co-workers think I'm stuck/rude because I don't drop everything to interact with them while on the job. When I get focused in on something I put all my mental focus
into finishing my task while they have time for small talk, I'm usually left out of it. I'm terrible at having chats while doing something and if they do try to talk to me like "How are you doing? How was Christmas for you?" I usually give them a one word response like "Fine" or "It was good" and then they react like that wasn't the answer they wanted when that's all I had to say. Fuck I just have terrible social stamina compared to everyone else.

No. 705040

>why does the universe allow people like me exist
You sound like a better person than me or many other people. hugs

No. 705046

From the bottom of some random anon's heart: hope you find your little flame inside, I am sure it'll be beautiful

No. 705051

Today I drove through a snowstorm and the whole time the idea of someone losing control of their car and crashing into me and throwing me off the highway was so appealing. I think that's what people call rock bottom.

I've also been wanting cancer. Don't think any amount of therapy can fix me.

No. 705064

I have hiccups so hard my chest hurts fam.

No. 705074

I'm cranking a bottle of wine in bed, I haven't drank in so long. I wish I was fuckin dead but hey. All I can do is sleep all day, I don't want to move or eat. My boyfriend has spent under six days with me this month and now he's isolated because of a positive case at his work and he's totally cool with it. His roommates sister is subletting the place and I secretly think he's fucking her. I'm too cowardly to ask. He gets mad at me when I'm depressed as if I don't hold him when he cries, even on my fucking birthday. He yelled at me when we were camping this summer and he was drunk, "I can't handle the fucking mood swings". I'd wake up at 4am, work until 5pm, then stay up watching his band play until 1am, pinching myself under the booth table until I'd bleed. Anything to spend time with someone. I wish anyone would feel the way I do about them, especially the people I love. Oh and surprise my daddy didn't call for Christmas. I really wish I had a friend. Therapy and medication and workbooks are doing fuck all; maybe I'm too smart although it's more likely I'm just too fucking stupid. Oh, and I started making jewelery (lmao!). 26 is definitely not for me wow!

No. 705090

I'm so sick of men who don't appreciate when they have cake. They always wanna deny it. You have wonderful genes! Twerk or something!

No. 705098

My mom is going batshit and screaming downstairs because i didn’t go down to wash her dumb ass dishes for her. I already helped her out majority of the day, but I had my earphones in so I couldn’t hear her call me. Crazy fucking bitch. I can’t wait for quarantine to be over.

No. 705100

Her retarded ass is also calling me crazy for playing weeb music around the house. Fucking hell, im just trying to enjoy my life doing things I like. At least I’m not miserably scrolling through fb and criticizing ppls looks all day.

No. 705104

Get drunk enough to dump him tonight. Do it.

No. 705109

File: 1609299819919.png (378.1 KB, 1210x800, iu.png)


>At least I’m not miserably scrolling through fb and criticizing ppls looks all day.

No. 705114

I'm glad someone else peeped that too LMAO she must think since she's anonymous, it's different

No. 705116

My boyfriend has gotten so ridiculously pc lately and he's driving me insane. I jokingly used the word "retarded" when referring to myself in a private conversation between the two of us and he told me to stop being ableist. Holy shit it's making me so unattracted to him. It's not that I feel the need to be edgy or whatever but I don't know when he started to be like this

No. 705172

You should continue to be edgy in hopes it'll snap him out of it

No. 705206

Careful he is going to start defending troons very soon if he keeps on going like that.

No. 705227

I fucking hate the stereotype that you have to have natural colored hair at work, I have silver hair and I know I might be pushing it by applying for jobs with clearly dyed hair but I have still gotten interviews for high-paying administrative positions at big companies like Ford (sadly always gotten out-rivaled by someone with more experience or from their sister companies).
I know it is brattish of me to not want to dye my hair a natural color like my family is pushing me to, but it is clearly not a problem on the market since the focus seems to mainly be on my resume. I REALLY want to be able to keep dying my hair since I hate myself and dying my hair and doing my nails are the only things I can control that makes me somewhat happy with myself.
Who knows, maybe I would get more interviews if I had my natural brown hair and maybe I'm tripping myself up by doing this.

No. 705230

Your hair is silver, not pink or blue, there's a difference.

No. 705232

Hospitals in my country have stopped providing necessary care because of covid patients taking up all the space. And regular healthcare was already put to a complete halt. Imagine not receiving your cancer treatment to save or prolong your life because people decided that going to the mall shopping for christmas presents was more important than not putting even more unnessecary pressure on the national healthcare system, it's literally come to that point. If I've learnt one thing from this pandemic it's that people are disgustingly egoistical.

No. 705235

I don't understand what's wrong with what I said I want someone to explain it to me

No. 705236

What did you say?

No. 705237

Hey I know Reddit is gay but check out tree law on their legaladvice subreddit to see how much they salivate over it, then immediately get a real lawyer. Depending on the age and breed of the tree you can sue your neighbour for sooooo much money (maybe tree law doesn’t exist where you live in which case, can’t wait for your boomer neighbour to have a heart attack chopping wood)

No. 705238

But that is something I never understood, why would having pink or blue hair affect how employable you are? The focus should be on your resume and references, not the hair. What should matter is how you can deliver as am employee. I can see it being judged if it's really washed out because then it can give the impression that you don't really take care of yourself, but if it looks fresh and well taken care of why would it be different from dying your hair a natural color?

No. 705239

Fuck that guy anon, I appreciate food delivery people endlessly. You guys have saved my ass from starving many times.

No. 705240

People only think about themselves and they get offended if you dare to say that they shouldn't do some things that aren't even necessary. No one cares about covid anymore. I've been wanting to go to the doctor for some time now because of some pains I've been having but I don't want to go now because no one fucking wears a mask anymore. I can't imagine the dread cancer patients must be feeling.

No. 705242

This reminded me of the time when I was working at a supermarket when I dropped out and said to some older employees that I wanted to get back into school to get a degree so I could get a "real job". Should've seen their faces. Obviously I didn't mean it that way, for me it was just a temporary job that I couldn't even financially support myself with until I figured out what I wanted to do, but they didn't appreceite that.

No. 705245

Some industries and professions still take dresscode and general appearance guidelines seriously. Some based on tradition and what is considered "prestigious", but for some it's really just about showing social conformity and not being perceived as overly individualistic. But nowadays there are certainly "youthful" places that even show preferential treatment to more colorful looks like tats and colored pixie cuts or whatever is in style.

No. 705247

Sue him and get rich, I'm not kidding.

No. 705255

I'm not saying that I agree with discrimination against people who dye their hair in unnatural colours, but it's definitely still a thing everywhere. I live in Germany and have never seen anyone working anywhere with coloured hair, except in big cities and as cashiers, hair stylists or other blue-collar jobs.

No. 705272

I hate being right about things, I tell myself "oh people would not think/do that, people are good!" even if I know it's not true. And they go and say and do what I expected them to say and do in a specific specific situation. If you were good you would not have those thoughts!!!

No. 705273

My sister died and I still haven’t processed it. Like at all. Pure denial. It’s so odd

No. 705277

Sage for blog but yes to this. I'm 29 and have natural hair, no tats or piercings and in my last 2 jobs I wasn't allowed to wear pins on my shirt or decorative hair ties, yet my alt coworkers were allowed to have multicolored hair and use things like branded lanyards and stickers on their name tags. The argument was that it was less "distracting" for them because it fit into their look, and rather than argue how obviously unfair rhat was I left for several other reasons. Individuality in the workplace is often reserved for younger people who buy into trends because they attract other trendy young customers, apparently nobody wants to be served coffee by a plain Jane. Double standards everywhere, it's like once you're pushing 30 people get offended that you don't want to feel like an NPC or servant.

No. 705280

My condolences anon. My sister has late stage cancer and she's going to die. When I received the news it was dreadfully horrible, yet the next day I felt the same denial you talk about. I hope you have somebody to hold and comfort you when reality finally hits you. Losing a sibling is genuinely awful, but I pray your mourning comes without so much pain.

No. 705282


Not trying to be offensive anon, but are you on the spectrum? That's a common problem autists face, but really it's just the other person's problem because allistics are used to being spoonfed excess info.

No. 705284

Fake bitch.

No. 705286

I like the snowflakes, but they make the site laggy as hell on mobile when using data & I wish there was an option to disable them.

No. 705287

No. 705335

File: 1609336891618.jpg (20.49 KB, 398x399, 1429952650719.jpg)

I don't get people who claim that talent and hard work is all you need to success in art. It's bullshit. Your class/economic background and connections are just as important, if not more. Here where I live, the majority of kids who got into drama school or fine arts academy had private lessons or paid courses. A working class 15-20 year old won't have 2k to spend on a 3 months course. Becoming an actor here is impossible without higher education. Even actors playing in shitty tv dramas graduated from drama schools. I remember Christopher Eccleston talking about the lack of working class representation in the arts. He said he could not have gone to drama school today, because his parents could not have afforded to pay for it. But in my country, where we have "free" higher education, the wast majority of kids who got into good drama or art schools had months of training in paid preparatory courses, and that's something a working class kid wouldn't be able to afford. So there's more to this problem than just whether higher education is public or not. Art became completely commodified by the upper class.
Now, when you take playing an instrument seriously, not just as a hobby. Even something "pleb" tier like a guitar (one of the cheapest options). If your parents are well educated and upper or middle class there are higher chances they will take your art-related interests more seriously and they won't force you to go to work right after high school, you can just get your instruments and focus on creating bedroom pop or some other normie shit, and you can still live with your parents who will pay for your food etc. But if you don't have this privilege and you have to work 8 hours a day 5 days a week to support yourself, you won't have nearly the same amount of time for practice. There's a couple of industry plants who started like this because their parents paid for everything and some of them also had connections in the music industry as either artists or corporate marketers. And yet, their rise to fame is painted by them and the media as organic and humble. "Hey look, this young person is JUST like you! You can just create a couple of songs in your room and become famous out of nowhere!" They will never ackowledge their privilege, they're disconnected from reality. I won't even mention the difference in mentality and motivation of someone who had parents doing art-related stuff and showing them support, and someone who not only didn't have that but was also constantly discouraged by family who could never-ever see art as a serious career path. Although industry plants existed for many years, in the 90s and even early 00s it was still possible to have an organic, mainstream success. But now it's almost impossible or highly unlikely. The music industry is 100% controlled and saturated. They perfected the recipe for a star so now stars are made, not born. Why would they take risks with an "outsider", especially from a working class, if they can just create a star from the scratch and have full control over them. I'm so pissed thinking about talented and sensitive people who just gave up at some point because they weren't able to focus on art because they didn't have the class privilege

No. 705338

I took up running as cardio lately, and have been going to a nearby park that has this really nice rubbery running track. I usually still take my facemask, but drop it around my neck when I get there so I can squeel like a pig grasping for air after 30 seconds of running, and I fucking had it with all these senior citizens strolling around on this track with no facemask on. Like I'm 99.9% sure I don't have the coof, but you DON'T know that. Please get away from the joggers/runners, grandma, you're giving me anxiety.

No. 705357

I had a dull pain in one side of one boob when applying pressure at the beginning of the year, it disappeared after two or so weeks so I thought nothing of it. But since it has happened a handful of times again (dull pain when applying pressure that lasts for about two weeks) in the exact same spot during the rest of the year but I didn't go to see a doctor because of corona. Now I've got it again and I'm actually getting concerned that it might be breastcancer but all non-emergency health care has been shut down so I can't go even if I want to. Why am I so fucking dumb to take the risk, I should've gone when I had the chance. I'm trying to tell myself I'm too young to get breast cancer and I can't see anything or feel a bump or anything of the sorts, but I'm borderline scared now.

No. 705369


I feel these days it's getting harder to be an authentic artist because so many people claim to be them when they're not or have little talent. These days with music it's just having a weird aesthetic, create some shocking ass lyrics and thread together a song. Go viral.

Ppcocaine, Melanie Martinez with their weird kiddie vibe. Gaga did it by being a freak back in the day. You've always got people who go with their niche and they run with that.

There's no care for proper talent anymore I find. It's all what's catchy, what's popular for the sake of it being popular really.

Acting is just now anyone who is already famous getting a role despite not being able to act all that well or they've got the right connections. That's it.

I can't even name a movie that I last enjoyed either because everything feels the same these days. Music, movies. But I can watch stuff from the 80s and 90s and it's actually fucking good.

No. 705374

I think the weirdest music sensation I noticed lately as a doomer still stuck listening to the same music I listened to at 14 is Doja Cat. Everything she released sounded like it was written by some machine that combined popular trends with memes and booty shaking. I also heard that most music gets popularized by TikTok nowadays, so I guess it makes sense considering that.

No. 705375

That's the set precedent, anon: nobody can make money or a name for themselves in arts or entertainment as long as they have bills to pay. It doesn't matter how many people you know or how dedicated your fans are, it's about who in the existing industry you know. Gatekeeping, Nepotism is an economic tool just like poverty, but until it's well known enough that people get collectively angry and laws start changing that's the way it's gonna stay. Young people create trends that older, fading rich assholes buy into so they can cling to relevance, they have a vested interest in making sure each new generation of young people can't take their lives into their own hands. Trying to fund your own dreams is impossible when working normal jobs won't even cover standard living expenses like rent, food and healthcare, now imagine trying to produce and promote yourself with no money after working all week? You can't. And sure, there are ways for new talent to make it but they're basically casting couches.

All musicians in the insudtry now were vouched for by someone else or is being used to make money by someone else. Music is a business, so if you want to be a real musician and live for the music and your fans, you cannot give a fuck about fame.

No. 705380

Case in point, George Clooney is one I considered a good actor, but Midnight Sky was fucking awful.

Music, fashion and movoes such because the last lineup won't let sny new blood in to freshen things up and eveyone is getting sick of watching aging narcs steal youth trends for relevance because they have nothing else going for them. Imagine being rich and famous, and still having as much personality as the average nobody.

No. 705387

I forgot to mention, having only middle and upper class kids in the mainstream music makes it so fucking dull. In the 90s you had the grunge movement deeply rooted in punk, you had the riot grrrl movement, all that shit was mainstream. Working class kids playing shitty instruments from pawn shops. Kurt Cobain worked as a janitor and he slept in his friend's car. Now mainstream music lacks any kind of edge, dirt and anger, because those people have literally nothing to be angry about. They were never disenfranchised or alienated, they didn't grow up poor, they weren't abused by parents or even bullied at school. What the fuck do they worry about? Some heart ache?

No. 705416

File: 1609344162862.jpg (75.58 KB, 630x748, 6ef_0I6BYyV978odHO0rdYI7wZTzvq…)

I know I'm not liked at my new office job but sometimes their passive aggression is ridiculous even if it's expected that I be shat on for the basis that I'm the newbie. It's hard enough to have to force pleasant greetings, banter, and smiles unless I want to be labeled things like 'mean' and solidary just cause I have a bitchface and look serious/intense. I say good morning to these bitches and they barely acknowledge me, and never greet me. It really fucking sucks, I consider myself friendly and helpful in my interactions so I know I've never given them a reason to treat me that way. Just typical hostile work environment politics bs.

This morning they had a go at me because apparently I was typing loudly. The only email I wrote all morning. Idk, I guess I can type loud sometimes but usually it's because I'm focused, and having long nails doesn't help. They joked about how I must've been going off on someone and to calm down hA aH HA HA haha!

Crickets for the bitch CHEWING ICE ALL FUCKING DAY two cubicles behind me. Cause you know, how dare if my keyboard should clack doing something job related, but hearing someone chew, munch, and crunch all day is perfectly okey dokey smokey. Fuck me dead fam.

No. 705420

I also think there's way more artists who straight up sell out these days and immediately change their image as soon as they get signed. Like Megan thee stallion for instance who went from hot girl from texas to corporate pushing pro sex worker feminist movement shit. Same with cardi b who sworre she was never gonna change her face but she did. Artists used to wait at least 5 to 10 full years to sell out but now they do it immediately. Artists no longer question the establishment anymore or go against anything they literally all push the same opinions and agree with the mainstream now. It's fucking weird and soulless

No. 705473

I fucking hate it that my mom just comes into my room or into the kitchen when I'm there and then just stands there. Doesn't say anything, doesn't do anything, she just stands there and stares. Then when I ask if she needs something or wants something she's like "WHAT I CAN'T JUST STAND HERE?" Even worse when she just starts going through all the things in my room. Are you looking for something?! Can I help you find what you need?! Then she gets offended again that I don't like her rifling through my shit. I just want to fucking move out already but fucking RONA REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

No. 705482

I'm in a discord group with a close friend and things got suspicious with someone on the server with a girl who was what I found out to be 14 at the time (the guy 22 presently I believe and in college).

It's annoying the fuck out of me that everyone is turning a blind eye that these two are dating. They openly admitted it. She was 14 and recently turned 15. She does fake her voice very high pitched like an anime lolita as well which probably doesn't help her case. I don't want to judge the girl as she's young and we all make stupid choices, but every time I call him out everyone goes radio silent because they're close to this guy. I'm not wrong for this am I anons? It's fucking gross.

His dumbass excuse was "B-but she asked me out!". Which isn't even a valid excuse. He's an adult.

I have personal experience with being groomed so it's bothering me a whole lot.

No. 705484

That guy is a legitimate pedophile, and you should either contact the girls parents or the police. That shit is not okay.

No. 705485

File: 1609354041460.jpeg (236.72 KB, 630x749, 50B11A43-7319-4F80-B460-5CE8CD…)

I’ve been unemployed for about a week or so now and I’m trying to find another job, but I can feel myself withdrawing back into NEETdom again. Getting anxiety thinking about leaving the house, having to talk to an employer, make myself comfortable in another strange environment. Why am I like this? I’m totally fine and normal and even look forward to going to work when I do have a job. It only takes a couple of days for me to feel like an average working stiff. But when I have any length of time off work, I get sucked back into how I was before “becoming normie.” I fucking hate it.

No. 705501

>Why am I like this?

Short answer: Because you can be.
People are a lot more urgent and desperate for any work when they have bills to pay and the consequences are no food, no home, no car, etc. Most people don't like work and feel like stiffs doing it, the difference is most people have to or else.

No. 705529

Girl you know you're not wrong for it. If he won't take responsibility and others in the chat are letting it slide, I agree with the other anon and think you should call the cops or her parents 100%. She'll be pissy about it but probably come to LC or a place like it or mention it to her therapist in the future thanking you. He will hopefully fucking rot.

No. 705539


Thanks anons, I feel better and less crazy knowing that others agree with me on this. I will try to see if I can track down family from her social media. Hopefully I can find someone.

No. 705550

Growing up I lived somewhere my stepdad hunted a lot and I was forced to clean/skin/gut/scale animals and fish on a regular basis. Mainly snarred rabbits and grouse. It's fucked up that I sobbed through all these experiences but had to do them anyway with someone standing over my shoulder.

No. 705555

I'm so glad that pedophile trafficking murderer Michael Alig is dead and I'm infuriated by how much the media tries to paint him as a "complicated" person.


No. 705557

I feel you, anon. I grew up in redneck territory where this shit was "just part of growing up". I wish it was considered child abuse.

No. 705571

File: 1609360932831.jpg (96.85 KB, 1080x1058, c1bb994.jpg)

Stupid ass earthquakes, I'm so fucking tired of the shit. They've been happening 3 days in a row now and while I'm in no real danger I'm still a bit scared to go to sleep because I imagine that the bed is shaking again and it freaks me out.

Stupid thing stop moving and shaking my house I want to sleep and not be scared of dying.

No. 705585

>I don't get people who claim that talent and hard work is all you need to success in art.
When has anyone said that? Everyone knows becoming a famous singer/actor/artist etc is luck and connections. Even the privileged ones who can pay for lessons etc are still 99% failures.

No. 705595

I am just so insanely depressed and have absolutely no hope for the future. I am a huge workaholic but I've hated every job I've ever had. I feel like I'm just wired to throw myself into work and let it eat away my entire life, even if I can't stand what I'm doing. The only thing I've ever been genuinely passionate about and ever felt like I "just knew" that this was what I was meant to do is fiction writing, but that isn't a practical career goal. I don't even have much hope that I can get a job that is even related to any kind of writing. I'm not willing to be a starving artist because I'm too pretentious.

At the end of the day, most of this probably just stems from my depression, which has increased 10x since COVID. There are virtually no job opportunities available to me right now and very little else to distract myself from how shitty I feel.

No. 705598

Samefag, but I agree with all of this, even though I don't really think it's a secret these days that connections and money is like 90% of what gets people recognized as artists. It's what keeps me from trying to get any of my writing published. I've never found a single example of a literary magazine publishing a "newcomer," even though most of them claim that anyone is welcome to submit their work, which I guess just means they're willing to take money from anyone. Everyone who gets published is already well-established in the field.

No. 705610

>When has anyone said that?
My art teacher, my family kek

No. 705612

I am in that boat. What made you think I wasn’t? I’d be risking homelessness if I didn’t keep employed, and yet… it’s like I get way too comfortable in staying shut in.

No. 705631

This is kind of pathetic, but I'm still butthurt that I didn't get into any of my top universities of choice. My stats were above average for my particular program, yet I was rejected from all 4 fucking universities and ended up at a state school which admittedly has been fine, but still. I don't understand how a single person can be this unlucky.

No. 705636

My mom works in college admissions at a top university and says that acceptance is almost purely based on luck, despite what people like to think. They're just too competitive to do it any other way these days.

No. 705641

File: 1609366989316.jpg (43.73 KB, 608x960, py81httrocu41.jpg)

Just wanted to share that my bitchy, unaceppting family member didnt show up on today's meet up. Had a very nice, comfortable time!

Theres still hope, everyone. Don't give up.

No. 705644

To be fair, I'd rather it be that than the prospect of all of them thoroughly going through my application and unequivocally deciding I was trash, lmao. I guess the lesson here is try your best, but don't set your sights on anything in particular.

No. 705645

>my bitchy, unaceppting family member
I thought you meant the cat for a sec

No. 705663

Why on earth would you get hate for such an uncontroversial subjective opinion about your own experience

No. 705665

At least you were smart enough to recognize you needed it and had the courage to ask for it. My mom forced me to see a psychologist when I was a child and it did nothing because I didn't want to be there, I'm still dealing with the consequences today. If there's something I regret in my life..

No. 705667

File: 1609369126018.jpg (148.72 KB, 1000x954, EiGtOGNUMAA5gA3.jpg)

its so annoying when people call you a prude for not liking sex scenes or porn all that much, sex is cool but people frothing and screeching at you for not being as horny as they are is so annoying.

No. 705672

I know you deleted but I just wanted to say that I feel the same and suffered similarly.
My mom was a middle school teacher with a narcissistic personality so on top of thinking that she already knew better, her image couldn't be had with admitting she fucked up enough for her daughter to merit some therapy. She only wanted therapy for me when my bio dad was being a shit to me but that was just a session so she could confirm her victim status and assign blame for my state on anyone else but herself. She spent most of the time stigmatizing that therapy was only for the uber crazies, and she would get super pissed whenever I'd imply she needed some herself. I didn't know what personality disorders were when I was a young teen outside of depression, but she acted unhinged enough sometimes where I'd say that she was crazy, overreacting, or behaving irrationally. That was enough to stoke her rage screaming "Don't psychoanalyse me!" I was like, 15, lmao. I couldn't imagine being so threatened by my own child.
Well, I spent most of my teenage and early 20s mimicking her same traits and bullshit because it was normalized to me. I had disordered and unhealthy romantic relationships, shallow friendships, and zero coping skills for stress because seeing her act and put on a fake face for the outside world was all I known. People were harsh on me, and I endured some pretty severe consequences. It took doing extreme introspection and reading before I started to change.

But you know I'm happy when I see teenage girls batted for. I wish so badly that I had someone truly in my corner growing up. It upsets me that I didn't have that lot for myself, but I see people standing up for girls and women as a net benefit for our gender. The more we're understood, the less we're written off and dismissed and told to just keep quiet.

No. 705674

Who the fuck do you hang out with anon lol. Not watching porn is always a major flex imo, I love to bring it up to partners like nah I just have an active imagination! Coomers could never.

No. 705679

ikr??? even when i talk to some normies irl and lightly make fun of this whole bdsm thing or coomers who watch porn and jerk off like it's their job they start acting defensive and treat me like i'm a bible-thumper who's gonna beat the shit of them for being degenerates.

No. 705698

My sister and I having another fight, circlejerking to the same points again, and me being reminded why I can't stand to be around her at all. Why we don't hang out. She's a selfish narcissistic bitch who's always accusing me of being one, and I'm tired of it. We have no mutual interests. We can't bond worth shit, it hurts to be around her, it hurts to talk to her. She acts like she knows me, she doesn't know me worth shit, if she did, she'd actually care to take an interest in me. She doesn't. To be fair, I don't take an interest in her either. We might as well just both fuck off and die. There's no salvaging this shit. Once I leave my parents house and leave her I'm gone. I'm gone, fuck these people who've raised me to feel like this retarded piece of shit who can't do anything. It's exceedingly hard for me to save and spend money but now I'm banking on getting out by next year. I can't stand it anymore

No. 705710

Nayrt but you know it's possible to be anxious about finding work and still wanting to stay inside all day even with fire under your ass, right?

No. 705717

If you can contemplate becoming a NEET there is no real fire under your ass. Most people would be freaking the fuck out if they were unemployed for a week and counting. If your biggest anxiety is having to step outside and talk to your boss then you need to suck it up, sorry.

No. 705726

I can relate. I've thought off and on about just committing and really trying to submit somewhere seriously though. You see how much shit is published, right? I fundamentally agree with you about connections and stuff, but sometimes those things can be developed over time, or they can start somewhere small and grow into something else.

What kind of work are you pursuing in the meanwhile? Have you thought about keeping a writing blog or journal for yourself? It can be fun to play with ideas and maybe something will really take off. There are also some financial scholarships and funds for creative writing. I've never applied for any of them but some real dipshits sometimes get them so there must be a way to do it.

I"m sitting here trying to finish a grad degree and I know that my field needs people like me. The way I think is different (sorry if that sounds self-absorbed, I just mean that I'm interested in bigger cultural themes while operating in a field that tends to focus on small details). I like to take on interesting topics, but the lack of support and excitement during the "development" phases of my projects is frustrating. I take a lot of pride in how I write, too, and I like my work to be elegantly presented. So if I don't like how I'm writing, I end up not writing anything. This is pretty bad for depression and progress. I'd like to commit to something in 2021 for myself - a kind of writing schedule - and see if anything comes of it. Maybe you'd like to try the same?

No. 705735

Anon I have a lot of similar hangups to you and I often end up writing nothing of value because I get entangled in my own planning stages. I wish I had more of a motivation to write, I'm going to try at least write every few days in the forthcoming year, but I'm already afraid I'm falling behind. I value your dedication to your craft that you have, I wish you luck. I want to be in media or end up writing a successful project but it's insanely hard to keep track of anything with a disorganized brain like mine

No. 705737

File: 1609380863063.png (665.12 KB, 1080x2160, Screenshot_20201031-111824.png)

Holy crap anon, my dad is the same way with me. I was pollyanna about this for years, believing he loved me in his own way, but over Christmas this year it just hit me that I can't take it anymore. Anything personal or an anecdote I share to him, over text or IRL, is met with exaggerated boredom and disinterest, as in "yeah, and?" Like who talks to people like that??!! Sharing problems, forget it. Ignored, or told it's my own fault. Never, ever, a word of sympathy or kindness. Yet I'm supposed to grind it down and live with it and never react. And yet he loves to spend the little time he does communicate with me, complaining about his own problems, never accepting solutions or even sympathy from me, his own daughter. It's like he never gained respect for me, ever since I was fucking born. Or something went so wrong that I once was an addict, I never stole from him or lied, yet I'm trash to him forever.
I have children now that he doesn't give one shit about. Never makes time for them, and when I used to invite him he would blow it off.
He's awful. It's like what you said, every comment I make is an excuse to put me down. I talk about a job, it's "No way, you can't do that, you're not capable." Mention the kids and he practically yawns in my face.
And yet if I start calling this out, the rage and denial come in to play. His childhood was fucked up allegedly, he left his siblings and mom for decades, bc they drank and used, and now he wants to be close to them.
He went from straight edge Evangelical christian family man, to depressed, weed smoking boomer. He says the church was a cult and there is no God.
Living with him during my addiction, I felt like I deserved to die, because he would silently rage slamming kitchenware. And yet for years in early recovery I gave him so much credit, just for not tossing me out on my ass. That's all he did though. I praised him to the heavens for it. And now I'm tired and I see through my previous blinders that I wanted to believe he has affection for me that will one day open up. Now I'm done. Fuck him, he wants to die alone so bad. He makes me feel like an outcast in my own family that they don't need or want me around, nor my children, now that we're happy on our own.

No. 705743

File: 1609382432376.jpg (30.28 KB, 525x525, 4b371650bebb80ffa4c99048db0969…)

I feel so insecure now and paranoid venting about things that genuinely make me feel depressed or hurt in general. I think a previous vent thread i vented about something that i felt hurt by, and people just came at me with snarky comments and just mocking me even going to the length to screenshot it and post it onto another thread mocking me.

Maybe im just being petty but, that shit hurt even more than the thing that hurt me i vented about. Im really trying not to vent about anything i feel very hurt by that people might take advantage of to make jokes that aren't even needed just because they think it shouldn't affect me and that it sounds dumb when in actuality it does affect me and it sounds logical to me to feel hurt by. I literally just want to vent without any judgement, i just want people to have a sort of understanding about my situations and just try to tell me what to do to make things better or what i should try to do instead of straight up clowning on me.

I do not even wanna say what i vented about because i just fear that the people who mocked me for it will try to mock me even more, it just gives me so much paranoia and i really fucking hate it.

No. 705746

That's lolcow for ya. Sorry to hear that though, anon.

No. 705747

I'm sorry you felt that way anon. Maybe you can try writing about it or speaking it aloud but alone? Or a therapist. Venting to ordinary people (especially to anons) can be hard and we can never expect their reactions. Your pain is valid and I hope you feel better!

No. 705748

I'm very sorry to hear that anon. I don't know which post are you talking about, but I just hope that everything turns out better for you. I know that those comments here are hurtful, I myself have went through similar situations, but don't worry. Even if many of us don't reply to your post, we still want to see you getting into a better place, don't let rude people ruin your day, there's always people that will support you.

No. 705749

Just saw a fucking gigantic fucking spider in my room (ceiling) and freaked out and ran out of there and went to talk to my dad.
Looking at internet pics of national spiders, it could either be a semi-harmless garden one or the actual most venomous spider in the country.
Fuck me I am so fucking paranoid and I don't know what to do, I am sleeping in the guest room but whenever I see a shadow with the corner of my eye I get scared it may be it
Fuuuuckkkk I hate spiiiderrrsss

No. 705751

On the bright side of being at a shitty position, at least you're not the anons who were teasing you.

No. 705752

File: 1609383743390.jpg (10.38 KB, 367x285, 85873794a840bf4f7d5a46bcdd1757…)

im aware of it, trying to cope somehow that there are people who can be mean but i try to look on the brightside, i have seen anons here who are pretty laid back so i try not to let anything get me down.


Thank you so much that means alot, im currently seeking a therapist for the next year since we have lockdown, hoping to look forward to get my mental health better


Thank you so much! i appreciate that, i wish i could try to link the post somehow but im too scared of that, but i can say it's some situation i had with my boyfriend that really hurt me and even made me feel uncomfortable, tho im long over it and actually spoke with him about it things are good now. Some anons can be mean i agree with that, but i won't let that get me down. Im so sorry you went through the same thing, hope you are doing alright. Anyway, it was nice hearing those things dear anons, but i must go to bed, hope yall have a great night/day!

No. 705755

lolcow is variable. one day you'll get mocked, another day you'll get help. don't give up, anon, esp not bc of some asswipes

No. 705756

I hate how I'm always so much happier when I'm talking to a guy I like. I've never been in a real long term relationship as an adult, and I'm okay with that. I have a consistent FWB, which helps a lot, but at this point in my life I'm comfortable with the thought of being single forever. But once every year or two a guy comes along and I like him, and all of a sudden my overall disposition is so much better. I'm in a better mood, I feel more motivated, etc.
I feel like I'm betraying myself because a guy's presence in my life makes me happier than just my own.

No. 705759

I always beat myself up because I have 0 hobbies or interests and I'm not deserving of love but at the same time most men dont have hobbies other than videos games and weed but they still feel entitled to an attractive gf. Why is it I feel I actually have to be interesting/smart to just have an average looking bf meanwhile men dont?I was just pondering this.

No. 705760

I'm somewhat the same. I've only felt genuine intense effortless motivation in my life when I had crushes on attainable guys.

No. 705763

Samefag basically, I just wonder why I cant be like a man and expect love just because i exist

No. 705766

I'm finishing up my BA in the spring, so not looking for work atm. I'm hoping to find something writing-related, but I studied psychology, so idk how well that's going to go for me lmao. I do have experience in tutoring writing and some freelance stuff, though. Hopefully that plays to my advantage.

I literally get up every damn day with some sort of plan in mind for what I'm going to write/how much I'm going to write. Anxiety, depression and general imposter syndrome interrupts those plans approximately 70% of the time. At this point, I feel good if I can even write anything at all. Lockdown has really got me bummed out. I already hated school and am over my field of study, but having to do it all Zoom-style is just fucking abysmal. At least I'll be done soon.

No. 705767

>I have 0 hobbies or interests
Not trying to be a dick, but how is this feasibly possible?

No. 705768

Well I do have interests but not hobbies(for example knitting or playing an instrument).

No. 705769

Also I like things like makeup, doll collecting etc. But ya know for most men if you dont have hobbies similar to theirs it counts as none.

No. 705777

I wouldn’t worry about it, some of these people who claim to have a bunch of crazy hobbies or interests are literally just narcissists who are lying or exaggerating to seem more accomplished/intriguing. Then the others are type A control freaks who can’t just sit and relax a minute so they need to fill their lives with noise .

Very few people on this earth are really THAT unique and interesting while also managing to be decent people in other areas of their lives. Just try to find things you like and don’t worry about it so much.

No. 705779

The thing is if you have the same hobbies as them it still doesn't "count" since you're either a poser, looking for dick or, if you are a higher level than them at whatever hobby, they get offended and emasculated.

No. 705780

>expect love just because i exist

I used to be like this and it drove me actually a bit mad, you're better off being normal aha. Entitlement is a disease.

No. 705781

Omg I knew a guy like this in college who was all self righteous about being a writer and playing the guitar and he even said once how women don’t have hobbies and they’re boring, but he hardly ever wrote anything then he ended up doing too many drugs and flunking out. So yeah I think men who whine about women having no hobbies are usually just fucking losers themselves and they’re hating on women cus they can’t get their own shit together

No. 705788

lmao god, as if writing and playing instruments aren't some of the most common hobbies for women and people in general to have, what made him think he's so special? Writing in particular is way more popular with women imo, just look at the insane amount of fanfic out there. Girls will casually write 200k word stories about their fav fictional couples just for fun, men rarely bother.

No. 705794

A lot of loser men are just bitter about stuff relating to women, I wouldn’t try to analyze it much further than that

No. 705798

I want a man who will do stupid roleplay sex and is not a pornsick freak. Fuck this pandemic because I can't any.

No. 705803

I'm kind of salty my bf hid that his grandparents have been paying his phone bill for over a decade. It's not because he can't pay it but because it's just something his grandparents do for all their grandkids. Maybe I'm just mad at my own grandparents who are well off and have never given me a cent. They let me live with them when I was a teenager which I appreciate so much but I had to buy my own clothes, supplies and toiletries with a part-time job while going to school. It didn't teach me anything but to be stressed and rely on my friend's mom for tampons. I don't even want money… Idk this all sounds super selfish. I just wanted some sort of support. They didn't offer it emotionally or financially but I guess I didn't have to keep living with my drunk ass mom (who they defended randomly without me even bringing her up.)

I never asked them for money until a couple years ago when I asked for $200 to borrow and pay back within 2 days after I got paid. My grandma said no and lectured me. They went on some boat tour in Europe 2 weeks later kek.

No. 705804

I gave 20 bucks to an old beggar woman, I couldn't give more, and the first thing she asked was can I give her more. I know her situation is tragic and I wish I could give her more but jesus. I said I have no more cash on me and she told me there's an ATM machine near us. I said I can't do it and now I feel guilty

No. 705805

Don't stress too much. I know it's not always the case but someone who pushes you that hard and guilts you is someone who do this to others on a very regular basis. And also most people give nothing so you did more than that.

No. 705825

The fact that your life can be over before you die is horrific. I am literally stuck. No new try for me.

No. 705830

Yeah, I agree, porn is OUT.

No. 705831

Why is you life over to the point that you can't keep trying?

No. 705832

god fucking damn it why the fuck was I using a pencil lead to scratch my ear like a retard when I KNOW NOT TO DO THAT!!! I don't want to tell a doctor I'm retarded!! AAARRHHHH DAMN IT WHY DIDN'T I JUST GO TO BED AN HOUR AGO THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED ARRRGHHHHH WHY AM I SO RETARDEDDD ARRRRRRRRGHHH

No. 705835

Are you fucking serious? You're not even in your mid 20s and you've already given up because "everyone else starts to settle and have that old people routine"? Lmao get out of here anon

No. 705836

If you're lazy just say that

No. 705838

>Mid 20s are approaching and everyone else starts to settle and have that old people routine. Starting from 0 at this point feels a bit crazy
Kek. So what are you planning to do? Lie down in a coffin and wait for life to be over?

No. 705848

Have you tried using a qtip to dislodge the lead? Praying for you anon, hope you can get it out of there

No. 705852

Uhh I don't think it's a good idea to prod it further lest she seriously fuck herself up. Gotta face the embarrasment and see the doc.

No. 705854

hhh there's no way, it's a little skinny piece and it's deep in the ear canal. I may try to flush it out with an earwax removal kit. I think I'm going to be okay for now, I don't feel anything thankfully. I have to get it out though. Don't poke shit into your ears, ladies. God damn I'm stupid.

No. 705856

Could you ask someone else to get it out with tweezers and flash?

No. 705857

Why do they talk in a sweet high pitched voice to her and lower their voice when they talk to me? I'm going homicidal

No. 705866

Is that bad though? People's voices often raise in tone when they're dishonest or behave differently than they naturally would because they want to come across in a pleasing way.

No. 705889

I self-harmed from ages 12-22 and my mom knew the entire time and just ignored it. I get that as an adult and teen that shit was my choice/responsibility. But how can you look at a 12-year old girl with cuts on her arm and just not do anything about it?

She confronted me about it a couple times but she was always super weird and cold about it. Like when I was 14 she saw bloody paper towels and razors with the blades ripped out in my trash and she said "looks like someone's having another emo phase" and then went to bed for the rest of the day.

And I UNDERSTAND that she had her own mental health shit and divorce drama and that she was probably genuinely overwhelmed. But for fucks sake mom if you aren't capable of dealing with it pick up the phone and call someone who can. There WAS support available, there were family members and school counselors and etc etc etc that could have helped. But she's a prideful retard and didn't want to be seen as a bad mom so she locked herself in her room and let it happen. I hate her and I don't feel bad about hating her.

No. 705918

i realised a few months ago that i was probably sexually abused by someone i live with at a really young age and i think about it almost every day. the same person mentally and emotionally abused me until i became old enough to start talking back, so it's just the cherry on top of a giant pile of horrible, awful traumatic memories that make me want to cry. the worst part is that i mostly only remember the stuff that happened before i was like 10 or 11, because at one point my brain just turned off and decided to stop remembering most of the shit that happened to me. that means all of the fucked up, horrible, inappropriate stuff i remember was before i was even 13. i need to see somebody about this because i can't even think about what happened in a little bit of detail without almost crying, but i've been trying to see a doctor forever in the first place and i can't just unload this onto some random support officer at my uni. idk it sucks

on another note i also feel like a massive loser because i don't want to celebrate NY with family tonight. i literally just want to lay in bed and play animal crossing and see the new year in with fucking raymond like the autistic normie i am. anyway happy new years girlies!

No. 705947

i graduated and landed a stable job and now i'm torn between 3 big projects for next year, i can only choose one

i don't know what i should commit to between
>finishing a video game project that is dear to me (cons: thats my day job as well so i'm afraid i'll burn out or smthing)
>starting a twitch stream (cons: i want to keep my privacy and even though i most likely won't be famous i'm afraid of stalkers)
>making a webcomic that my teen self would have loved (cons: making a webcomic)

i'd like to invest my time into a big project like this

No. 705954

pick the vidya project

No. 705964

Do the video game! You can also always stream with no facecam.

No. 705978

My workplace is so casually homophobic. Im bisexual but married to a man so coworkers think I'll just agree with their shitty opinions. Im pretty out in other parts of my life but have to stay closeted here and sometimes I just don't feel safe, it being a majority male environment. Especially with my fatfuck boomer boss. He's always ranting about Christian persecution, making inappropriate jokes, and fudging our paychecks in one way or another. Its a very small company so its not like I can report this to anyone and there's not a lot of other jobs in my town right now.

No. 705982

Why would your co workers need to know about your sexuality aniway?

No. 705985

They don't. It's just inappropriate for them to always be bothering me in my office and making those comments. They're the kind of people that think bigotry of amy kind is super edgy and hilarious. Like I said, it just makes me feel unsafe.

No. 705986

File: 1609429545825.jpeg (120.73 KB, 622x829, 4D5AAD83-B89E-4AE2-920A-368297…)

this is going to sound so cringe but. Throughout the last 10 years I’ve had many male friends confess they “love me” or like me. While more than half were online it was still a pattern of me simply thinking I finally found someone with common interests and getting out of my shell a bit. I know this isn’t a unique situation. I’m really shy and dry on the surface but once I’m comfortable I’m borderline like. annoying autistic anime girl trope? which is why I think men feel the way they do despite me not flirting or anything. All I do is give support, encourage their positive interests and I’ve been told I’m quite “bubbly” when I’m myself.

Not gonna lie it’s a bit annoying. I don’t want to be their mothers, their gfs, their saviour. I just want a friend. And every time it happens and I inevitably don’t feel the same or already have a partner they either get really sad, block me, cling onto hope or other things. I’m not trying to shit on these men because obviously I liked them enough to spend time with them on a platonic level and get some good laughs, but idk what it is about me that makes men feel this way. Is my dumbness and nativité what’s doing it? I heard that sometimes when a girl isn’t sexual at all it makes men want to dirty them or something.

I probably sound like a 16 year girl but it was nice to get it off of my chest. I just wanna shitpost and play games to forget about work and and the effort it takes to glow up emotionally, mentally and physically.

No. 705995

My father treats me like an idiot, insults me regularly and tells me how much my siblings are better then me. I already have issues since I was bullied and nobody has ever really liked me, so it hurts a bit to know that your own parents don't think much about you. I try to tell my mother that it makes me feel bad and worthless and even she doesn't take me seriously. I wish I had some special talents or something, so I could have someone "value" me. I'm used to be alone, stupid and useless but sometimes I get selfish and think that I have something nice too maybe.

No. 705996

The atmosphere in the house is so bad that I feel paralysed. I'm unable to do anything, even watch TV because I feel like I have to focus in case anything happens.

No. 706007

I want my customers to stop being retarded.

No. 706008

> All I do is give support, encourage their positive interests and I’ve been told I’m quite “bubbly” when I’m myself.
> Is my dumbness and nativité what’s doing it?
Nah, you act like a decent friend and poorly socialised men misinterpret that and have tantrums when they don’t get their way. It happens a lot so don’t overanalyse your behaviour.

No. 706014

Why the fuck does taco bell keep taking shit off the menu. Bitch, give me my toxic, fake Mexican food!

No. 706017

File: 1609432687657.png (721.22 KB, 971x763, 4165657896.png)

>got covid and recovered
>decided to go give plasma because the local blood drive was asking people recovered from covid to donate plasma
>turns out i cant give plasma because i have antibodies in my blood plasma that can destroy peoples lungs
>tell my mom and grandma about it thinking its nbd
>they look it up online
>first result says that the main cause of these antibodies is pregnancy
>they both get really pissed off and start questioning me
>mfw im literally a virgin and there's a 0% chance im pregnant or have ever been pregnant
>mfw im physically repulsed by 99% of men and wouldn't even want to have sex with them

No. 706018

Why would they even be pissed by you getting pregnant?

No. 706019

because they're religious conservatives (who never even turn up to church lol) who think sex outside of marriage is wrong

No. 706022

I wanna fight whoever thought taking potatoes off the menu was a good idea. They better not touch my chalupas.

No. 706027

Girl, please unload on the university. They have mental health care professionals that cover students. If they suggest trooning out, book with someone else. It’ll take a while to find a good fit.

Spend New Years with your animals. It’ll be nicer. Look at amazon for a lock for your room door and then also see if the university can accommodate a dorm for you in a vulnerable situation. Have a bag packed and ready in-case you need to leave at a moment’s notice. Basement apartments are not ideal but they’re cheap and can provide solace. Keep fighting.

No. 706030


This anon hit it directly on the head. Sometimes with men you need to cut the fat, and eventually some mature ones come around who can handle friendships. These blowups and tantrums are from ´nice guys’ and are not instigated by you. Try to look for older female friends who have embraced sisterhood and aren’t still in that young competitive phase. Keep trying and eventually you will cultivate some great friendships, just takes a lot of time.

No. 706039

Does anyone else fucking hate counting down to the new year? And even more those 'this was the year'-compilationss. Fuck I hate that shit and I don't know why.

No. 706041

I do. I don't care about "new year" stuff, it's kind of a nice reset in theory and I do like to set new years goals, but as for the night, I'd rather just go to bed when I'm sleepy than feel obligated to stay up and ring in the new year.

No. 706081

Yeah I only like year-end wrap ups when it's for something specific, like Spotify Wrapped. When it's like "okay in january this person died and this place blew up and –" god just fuck off I'm going to bed at 9 pm fuck you.

No. 706123

My mom unironically thinks that her dog can not only understand human speech, but retain the information delivered to him in such a way and retain it for later use. Not commands, but speech. As a kid I would try to direct him by saying "no" or "down" and she'd get really offended at me for "yelling at her dog", and when I explained I'm trying to teach him she would proceed to show me how it's done by talking to him in the tone you'd reserve for a shy toddler, and in full sentences. When I said "Mom dogs can't understand whole sentences of human speech" she would smugly proclaim that animals are very intelligent. Anyway my dad just went on a tirade because he stepped in yet another puddle of dog piss in the hallway and that's what prompted me to make this post.

No. 706138

About a year ago, one of my closest friends and I started flirting with the idea of committing to each other and starting a family in the future. We make a good team, we understand and empower each other. He later confessed that he had developed romantic feelings for me. I was getting the feels too, but reluctant to admit it. Shortly after, he started to reconnect with an old flame. He was upfront with me about it and our dynamic returned to being strictly platonic. Their relationship has been getting more and more serious, they're very much in love at this point. I want to be happy for him, but I feel jealous and bitter. I can't even engage in conversation with him. When he messages me it's to talk about world events or music or art, nothing inappropriate, but my responses are so terse and passive aggressive. I've known him for years, I never felt this way when he was in relationships in the past. His friendship is important to me, I want to remain friends for as long as possible, but I don't know how to get over these jealous feelings.

No. 706141

The end of this post made me kek heartily

No. 706162

It gives me loads of anxiety for some reason. Maybe I feel like I haven't accomplished enough or I'm not celebrating enough. At least I have a good excuse to stay home this year. I hate drinking and love being in bed by 10.

No. 706165

Most dudes are so broken and attention starved that just giving them a tiny bit of attention make them catch "feelings"

No. 706175

No. What usually happens is they get an ego and start thinking they can do better. Men do not get validation from women liking them because they dont value our opinion.

No. 706176

Can we fast forward 2020 before anyone else dies christ

No. 706178

thank you anon, you’re really sweet. i wasn’t expecting any replies. thankfully i’m only home for a few more weeks and i’ve already got my bag packed (i never really unpack bc the environment is so unhealthy tbh). i’m at that weird age where i’m both an adult renting out an apartment in another city, but where i’m still young and unrooted enough that i’m expected to come home for the winter/summer every year (which is always traumatising in some way or another).

thank you for the encouragement wrt speaking to someone, too! it’s a difficult situation because i feel like i’ve both made it up and like i’m being overly dramatic and like nothing bad actually happened/the situation was totally normal, but something in my gut just tells me it wasn’t. i don’t know. it’s scary too because i feel guilty and anxious even talking about it on here anonymously, like the person who did it will find out somehow. i’m going to push to get help in the new year though, so hopefully i can manage to tell someone irl. thank you again, you’re really kind ♥

No. 706184

I hate this bitch so much. This was supposed to kick off the Rawring 20s. Can't have shit around here. 2021 needs to do major damage control.

No. 706187

I can't deal with COVID anymore. This needs to fucking end. My state is currently going through one of the worst outbreaks we've had the entire time. It's been like this for two fucking months and the deaths + cases keep skyrocketing. I'm just baffled. I don't understand what's going on. It's like everyone has just stopped giving a shit. I'm also having an issue with my unemployment payments being stuck on pending with absolutely no end in sight for that either. Can't get any solid explanations as to why, because apparently a lot of people in CA have the same problem. No statement from the EDD about it. Fuck everything.

No. 706189

POS neighbours won't let me walk the dog in my own fucking yard because those fucking kids are firing off fireworks off of the balcony.

They set one off whe I was outside and the dog ripped the leash out of my hand and scratched up the door because he was trying to get inside. I fucking hate those two fucking cunts, it was so peaceful before they moved in, now almost monthly some stupid shit is going on at their place all because their mom isn't home. Stupid.fucking.cunts. Wish I could pay them back somehow

No. 706197

Who died?

No. 706202

They might be talking about MF doom

No. 706211

my bf to me, i have small breasts

>’wow anon, you’re not really going out in that dress, are you? with your tits?’ scoffs

i cried

No. 706216

FUCK THAT RUDE SCROTE, I am sure you look like a fucking hottie. Your boobs are perfect as they are, don't cry anon

No. 706218

I would break up with him on the spot. Wtf

No. 706219

i’m sorry anon, that’s so shitty of him, what the absolute hell. don’t ever feel bad about the size of your boobs. i have really small boobs too and the amount of time i’ve genuinely had to spend forcing myself not to internalise the whole ‘big boobs = peak femininity/womanhood/sexual desirability’ thing is ridiculous. if my bf ever tried that nasty shit on me i’d hit the roof, wtf. tell him he’s got a little dick and see how he likes that

No. 706221


this is nowhere near the peak of his insanity. i don’t feel bad about my boobs at all, i never even gave them any thought until he entered my life and started mentioning it.

i think about strangling him to death every day

No. 706223

girl, PLEASE dump him at your nearest availability. i know it’s hard in the middle of a pandemic and everything, but he is not worth this shit. don’t let any stupid bullshit he says get through to you either. you deserve so much better than his freaky, insecure, manipulative bullying. if you have the option, you should ghost his weird ass.

No. 706224

Wtf he's a total dick. If this is him at okey then please get away from him, anon. You deserve better. Being single is way better than being with him.

No. 706226

Scrote here. Small shapely breasts are the best. Your bf is retarded.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 706229

Please leave his ass, for your own good

You fucking ruined 2021, can you leave?

No. 706235

Crying on new years because all I want to do is visit my Grandma but my stupid family refuses to stop hosting house parties and even though I want to isolate I can't while living with them, so she won't let me visit her. Fuck.

No. 706239

i want to but i basically cant. he has an unflattering picture of me that he holds as blackmail if i step out of line and not to mention the fact that he is willing to falsely and publicly accuse me of rape on facebook, a platform on which we share a lot of friends.

during one of our breakups, he outed me as an abuser and told everyone who would listen that i abused and controlled him.

i honestly am afraid of him and i’m still sort of in love with him so i just stay with him bf keep him at a distance which is surprisingly easy during this lockdown.

No. 706243

Oh jesuswhat the fuck? Could you maybe hatch up a plan? Confide in some authorities or counselors, holy shit

No. 706244

is the unflattering picture pornographic in nature? could you also attempt to get any of the things he says to you in video/audio/text messages or some other form of proof so you at least have something to fall back on (especially since i’m pretty sure you could go to the police about some of this stuff)? either way, i would really recommend still making a back-up plan for some point in the future, anon. you can’t stay with him and i think you know that too - he sounds scarily abusive.

i have a friend who was in a really similar relationship to yourself, and she managed to use the pandemic to her advantage and got an apartment behind her boyfriends back - she moved away and ghosted him. i really can’t emphasise the need for a back-up plan he doesn’t know about. you can make new friends, you can move away, and it’s likely a lot of people can already tell he’s not quite right in the head. it’s not worth ruining yourself over such a mentally ill, evil fucking creep. i’m so sorry, he genuinely sounds so so so hellish.

No. 706254

i have an email where he says he will release details about the ‘unclear consent’ situation which we never had and had already falsely confided/implied to someone that i raped him.

because this email doesn’t explicitly threaten to falsely accuse me and instead words it as if i’m some sort of sex criminal, i’m not sure it could be used to show to police, and if i did, he could just tell police i’m a rapist and then i could be on the hook for that.

his mother is a lawyer and i’m afraid that she could not only help him prosecute me for ‘abuse’ which never happened, but she could falsely testify that i raped him seeing as i lived in her house.

he’s insane and i’m afraid of him. i also have very strong feelings for him and don’t want to disconnect completely. i also feel like it’s my fault because i’ve begged him to comeback to me so many times.

No. 706258

Rolling my eyes into the back of my head everytime I see a twittertard talk about "the revolution". You're a "gay non binary trans man" who gets anxiety attacks over the smallest adult tasks and your parents pay for your therapy and T injections after they paid for you go to a liberal college. These people couldn't handle the internet shutting off and there being actual violence in their neighborhoods. Without capitalism and the government, they would never make it. They have no idea how to grow food, store it, maintain a shelter, basic survival skills, etc. What are they going to do when they don't want to do hard labor and have zero skills. Sell their "boy pussy" and expect the communist anarchist men of Twitter to take care of them? They wouldn't have the prescribed drugs they depend on to function. Nobody is going to give a shit about their woke gender attentuon seeking during an actual conflict. They remind me of the one season of the group survivors tv show, two guys survive by themselves while the rest of them sit around complaining and expect the other two to feed them.

No. 706260

fucking massive family fight just happened, happy new year all!

No. 706261

Not even one hour into 2021 yet and I'm already having a mental breakdown

No. 706263

Just found out my ex fiance got engaged on new year, meanwhile he dumped me on new year two years ago, lmao

No. 706282

might be referring to MFDoom?

No. 706283

I cant stand my mom's attitude towards my dad. Whenever he's verbally abusive to her she just ignores it and waits for him to calm down and goes on like nothing happened. Bitch what the fuck. How can you let ANYONE let alone your husband treat you like that without any consequence. She calls it being the bigger person and "when they go low we go high" blah blah blah but there's a fucking limit, congratulations you avoided conflict but you also let your husband use you as a punching bag and walk all over you for 30 years.

He was just an asshole to me and my mom ignored it instead of taking my side and i know she does it to keep the peace and that it's what she's always done and I shouldn't get mad but it fucking hurts, I want her to get mad at him and defend me. I know it's selfish

She just came to me while I was writing this and she said that I did well to talk back to him and get mad and that she wished she'd done the same years ago and that she loves me and she's sorry I'm upset. I love her too and I appreciate it but none of that changes the way he treats us.

It's what I get for not getting my shit together and moving out in 2020 like I'd promised myself though. Actually it's a good reminder for 2021. I fucking hate this house and I need to leave, again that's selfish but I don't care, I can't live like this

No. 706337

I want zoomers to understand that 2010-2014 are not the early 2000s. Dont call that y2k anything because it's not.

No. 706338

File: 1609467937195.jpeg (130.22 KB, 602x468, 5FABE0EF-F8F7-47E8-BB1A-6CA527…)

I just sent my ex a paragraph about how abusive he was and immediiately blocked him. I know a lot of anons think stuff like that is futile but we were together as teens and at the time I had no idea I was being abused. It just feels good telling him I know what he did. My hands are also shakingj though..

No. 706341

YES ANON! I'm so proud of you!!

No. 706344

THANKS sister!

No. 706364

Actually genuinely sad that MFDOOM died. I really liked his music but I won't be a poser and be like "OMG HE WAS MY FAVE I LOVED HIM" but I did love vibing out to his music on my drives home at night.

No. 706370

I'm genuinely in love with a YouTuber and I feel bad for my boyfriend kek. I know obviously it would never work but I'm fangirling over this youtuber and get happy whenever I watch him

No. 706379

File: 1609474788723.jpg (117.58 KB, 1048x824, mfdoom.jpg)

Me too. His music brought me a lot of relief when I was struggling to get through high school. Rip to a great one.

No. 706398

got home and mom was all drunk and sobbing because she misses her parents and hates my stepdad. i feel so exhausted. so exhausted.

No. 706403

File: 1609478133943.png (280.64 KB, 508x635, 4dk48z.png)

I think I might have BDD. I just found a bunch of pictures of myself from when I was swimming 8 hours a week in high school and I remember how huge I felt then and how I'd buy clothes in a size or two too large because I didn't really understand what I looked like, and I have felt this shitty ever since no matter what weight I was at or how active I was. I've stopped swimming (it gave me massive anxiety attacks lol) and have like 10-20 pounds of extra fat on me and I just feel like a total sack of shit even though most people I know say I look fine. I'm like 175 lbs or so but I'm 5'8" so I don't really "look" overweight but I just feel so disgusted with myself.

No. 706439

Anon, maybe you should try to eat smaller portions or less calorie dense food if you don’t like your body because you are probably clinically overweight and getting to a healthier BMI will probably help you feel better.

No. 706442


Sorry I didn't really clarify, but I feel like the issue is that even if I do lose weight, even if I went back to how I looked when I was doing swim workouts or even better, I don't think I would be happy with myself because I wasn't even happy then. Just venting about how I have a really skewed image of what I look like.

No. 706444

NTA but time and experience can give you perspective, you might have a better view of yourself this time around. Many women believed they were fat back when they were skinny teenagers and look back and wonder wtf they were thinking, it doesn't mean they will have lifelong BDD. If you're that distressed about your weight gain you might be surprised how much better you feel losing some of it, I know that I become more and more confident and happy as I lose weight even if I'm not at my goal yet and still fatter than my highschool self.

No. 706449

I have this exact same problem and I think it's just men being men, nothing to do with how you behave, really. I've started to think that it's impossible for men and women to be friends the same way women are friends, as soon as emotional intimacy comes in men just confuse it for love. I feel almost insulted each time it happens, like I've been betrayed or something, so I know how you feel.

No. 706452

Been feeling like shit since the clock hit midnight. IMagined what it would be like to have afriend who I could really talk to honestly and started crying.
2021 is gonna be a long year.

No. 706461

File: 1609496001112.png (804.8 KB, 940x626, B7BsvU9CUAAYKv3.png)

My sister and her bf just announced their engagement and even thought he's a decent dude and they're a very mature & smart couple I've spent the last 24 hours grieving because I feel like I'm losing my little sis

No. 706462

How are you doing now? Set free?

No. 706486

When it was a famous actor and we knew their birth date, favorite song and had posters up it was just called "being a fan". It is weird to be that infatuated though when you have an actual relationship, every internet personality will only put their most positive face forward, and then apologize for being a sex pest after a year.

No. 706489


No. 706492

File: 1609505167219.jpg (104.54 KB, 750x741, 24335324_6534_42342453.jpg)

i can't take customer service jobs because everybody is a fucking dick. when the customers are nice, the coworkers have to be bitches. when the coworkers are nice, the customers are assholes. i have not worked a single job in this branch that did not have a toxic ass environment. the people gossip about each other, the customers get pissy over anything. it's more stressful than it is worth it. i unironically like simple jobs like packing and cleaning better, but those only have shit shifts and tend to hire only men, or older women. i want to be cleaning a nice house again. it sucks that people treat cleaners like bottom of the barrel idiot scum. but if i keep it lowkey, and make sure to communicate well with employers it might just be okay. doing these jobs is was the main motivation to get my degree. i can not bear most of these petty people. can't wait to graduate and enjoy not having to break my back.

No. 706513

File: 1609509072019.jpg (57.51 KB, 680x736, 1609317717986.jpg)

I'm genuinely afraid that I'm developping selective mutism. I realized that I never ever talk when there is more than 2 persons listenning to me. Sometimes if I feel really anxious I can't even answer or look at my parents in the eyes. I have this deep rooted insecurity about the fact that I have nothing interesting to say, few years ago I would rehearse my sentence to the point that I will come across as robotic, and people would not be interested or simply cut me off. What fucks me up is that every time I really thought that what I had to say was helping the conversation but I realize that I was probably wrong. Now I think that everything I say is worthless and that I'm making people feel akward. I also can't read a room, one day I litteraly walk out of my classroom in front of the whole class because I genuinely though that the teacher had finished talking.
I have recently been accepted in an intership that I really wanted but they have accepted me by just looking at my art and a really messy 5 minutes zoom call when I stuttered like crazy. I'm so afraid that I will screw this amazing opportunity. I need to train myself to talk in front of more people.
sorry for rambling

No. 706516

Don't be sorry, Anon. Take this chance to slowly train yourself, take the time you need and don't forget they chose you, I'm sure they saw more of you that you give credit for. Good luck and happy new year! I'll be rooting for you!

No. 706518

just know that you can improve your talking/social skills and it's supposed to be hard work! so do not get discouraged. i believe in you

No. 706524

I felt a piece of me die when I saw they no longer served mexican pizzas. That was my shit

No. 706531

Why did this have to be one of the first things that I read today? Damnit. I know they got rid of the tostada, but I didn't realize that they got rid of that too.
Why are fast food places taking so much shit off? They have to be raking in more money than some nations now, so why?

No. 706545

It doesn’t make much sense because weren’t they all popular items? Maybe they were items that customers were frequently complaining about not being prepared properly or fast enough, so they decided to just remove them

No. 706553

I had a couple of drinks on a zoom party to celebrate New Years but now I feel like crap. I got so tired last night I fell asleep at 10 pm but not before I had to throw up and now I might have one of those hangovers with more vomiting. I have no idea how people can do this all of the time. I feel like at 26 my drinking days are before me.

No. 706557

Spending new years crying. I hate this fucking life.

No. 706581

The best way to deal with men is by just saying nothing. No arguing, no long texts, no asking what's the issue. If you are in a friends with benefits relationship and the guy is acting like hes better than you, sending you dry texts/leaving you on reas and you feel like you have to beg for his attention, just stop begging him, say nothing and suddenly hes going to be inlove with you. Never react because then they can just paint you as crazy or it boosts their ego thinking youre obsessed with them. A bf keeps doing shit you dont like? Stop nagging and go silent, he will stop. Silence pisses them off more than anything and if they dont really give a shit at least you dont feel like an ass by getting emotional and flustered over someone who doesn't give a shit. I wish I wouldve known this a decade ago.

No. 706584

I hate that my mom will say "yeah you've gained weight" but when I reluctantly tell her I'm on a diet (because she won't stop bugging me to eat X or Y that's in the fridge) she just laughs in my face. I wish I could move out because my parents are the biggest sabotagers. They act like I'm starving myself when I'm just swapping out what I eat for alternatives so I can stay within my calorie limits for the day. I'm not starving myself for days upon days upon days, I'm just eating a fucking boiled egg on toast without buttering my toast. I'm munching on some fruit or nuts between meals because I'm hungry instead of some chips. I still eat a small portion of whatever they cook for dinner like I always have. I'm eating a bite or two of this cake slice over a few days as dessert instead of downing it all in one sitting. They know I'm genetically disposed to shit like diabetes and heart issues because they have all those issues, so god fucking forbid I try to reel in what I stuff in my face a little bit.

No. 706587

It's so annoying when people badger and guilt you into telling them what people say behind their back and then they go confront the person, putting you in the middle of a conflict you never wanted to be part of and getting you in trouble in the process.

In the future I'm avoiding friends groups for this reason. They bring way more trouble than they're worth. I'd rather my friends just not know each other and not get me involved in their dumb ass drama.

No. 706599

I don't know, I think it's good to make a stink sometimes. You teach men how to treat you. I used to let a lot of shit go that I shouldn't have. If I get mistreated I will raise my concerns and my boyfriend KNOWS he has to make it right. I cringe so hard thinking of the shit I used to let go and the games I used to play with loser men thinking I could con them into treating me better

No. 706606

i’ve been dating this guy for three months now and i’m already ready to break up solely because having sex with him is so painful but i don’t know how to correct it? seriously it’s like his dick ends up hitting me in the wrong spot every time, poking into my intestines or bladder or colon or whatever else. even if i change positions it just hurts. also i keep getting thrush and even got a couple infections due to irritation. and then this motherfucker tries to stick his thumb in my butthole every time with no lubricant whatsoever or spit in my mouth when i don’t ask for it and i’m just very turned off. why do guys do that anyway? obviously i feel no pleasure from that?? i don’t enjoy one minute of sex with him. i used to but it just got so bad? id say something but i don’t want to make him feel good about himself by saying that sex with him is painful because his dick is large and he’s too rough. not to mention this dude is kind of a loser stoner. his brother died recently so i don’t want to cause him anymore pain because he really likes me but..fuck i can’t do this.

No. 706608

I gagged reading that, he spits in your mouth??? Jfc have some self respect anon and dump that gross loser wtf.

No. 706611

What a disgusting scrotoid, anon, throw it away and never look back, he’s objectively a gross pornsick motherfucker. Don’t even try talking to him and reasoning, he’s a waste of oxygen and doesn’t deserve any other chance.

No. 706613

You have our blessing to break up with him anon. Scrotes break up with women for so much less, and this guy makes sex painful and disgusting for you. You're more than justified.

No. 706616

thank you guys for the extra push lol

No. 706631

Due to therapy I've managed to deal with the anxious thoughts I get whenever I have an anxiety attack, however, the physical symptoms are still present which is such a pain. Like my brain knows everything is fine yet I feel nauseous and ready to puke. It sucks

No. 706640

My mom is becoming more and more trad and I hate it. She got offended when I told her that nobody should have six kids in this day and age (unless they have the money for it and even then) when we were taking about Freckled Fox yesterday. Then made a bitchy remark on how I’m not super young yet still have no kids. Sorry if I want to be financially responsible first.

No. 706651

Someone who was in my social circle from like second grade to college (small town) trooned out a few years ago (FtM). I don't actually care that much about the transgender movement, but it really upsets me that this person was a fucking horrible abusive bully since we were in grade school, and now everyone, including my own family members, are just chalking all of that behavior to effects of ~*~trauma~*~ from being born in the wrong body. Fucking bullshit. This bitch bullied an overweight girl in our sixth grade class to the point of attempting suicide at fucking twelve-years old. When we were in high school, she gleefully told me about how she coerces the women she's seeing into having sex with her by threatening to never talk to them again if they don't comply. When we had sleepovers in elementary and middle school, she would sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night by shoving me out of bed, hitting me, screaming at me, etc. I'm not even someone who necessarily believes that all trans people are terrible and faking it for attention, but this one in particular is so fucking deranged it's terrifying, and I don't believe for a second that taking T has changed any of that.

No. 706653

I'm sorry anons.
I have never infighted, or tried to baitpost in any thread, but I know that some stuff that I had said here have caused discomfort, and I always hated that. I just want to apologize for everything that I had said in the past that angered someone, I didn't mean to, I'm deeply sorry if I said something wrong, I didn't know it would had the reaction that it had.

Please, don't take this post as passive agressive either. I feel pretty sad right now, and I just want to apologize for the stuff I had caused. I'm sorry.

No. 706654

Anon, if you have never intentionally gone out of your way to make anyone on here feel uncomfortable, you have nothing to apologize for. I believe that you're feeling bad, but I have a hard time understanding how it could be for any of the reasons you've mentioned in this post. Are you sure you aren't just depressed?

No. 706656

I can't wait for some narc to come and defend that person/blame the victims.

No. 706658

I seriously doubt that's going to happen here, considering it's a troon they'd be defending kek

No. 706663

Thank you, anon.
I'm not sure if I'm depressed, but I'd try to look for help one day.

No. 706665

File: 1609537539200.jpg (52.75 KB, 590x527, love.jpg)

Thank you for the encouragements! You guys are right I need to see talking as a skill that I can change and improve on, I still have a couple of months to get better and I will try my best! Thank you very much for your answers, I'm wishing you gals the best for this new year!

No. 706666

Doesn't testosterone exacerbate the mood of its users? I remember seeing TiFs saying how they were angrier and moodier, if that's the case, that's the worst decision this person could have taken.

No. 706673

According to people who are still friends with her, she has supposedly calmed down a bit since taking T, but still has moments where she blows up and shows her true colors. The whole trans thing aside, she honestly just comes across as a toxic person who, like all toxic people who aren't actually capable of change, just learn to mask their behaviors better as they age.

No. 706698

I bought these cute little 2021 mini sparklers and gave them to my family and friends to use for a bit of fun for stay at home nye celebrations. I even drove around town and hand delivered most of them so that everyone would receive them in time.

Other than one aunt (and me), no one bothered to light theirs last night. Feels bad man.

No. 706721

I'm confused as to why sex has to be painful for women to be considered good now a days. Like how did something like choking become a thing? Choking is supposed too kill you. Isnt sex supposed to feel good?its weird how violence and sex are so intertwined yet have nothing to do with each other.

No. 706725

That's so sweet anon! They acted shitty, but try not to stress about it, you did something very nice and I'm sure that the ones you and your aunt lighted looked beautiful

No. 706726

>I'm confused as to why sex has to be painful for women to be considered good now a days
It doesn't though? I have never once seen anyone directly state that elements of BDSM are required in order for someone's sex life to be good. BDSM is just trendy right now, so people who enjoy it are more open about it. Literally wtf are you on about.

No. 706727

Even normie non-BDSM porn looks violent and rapey to me

No. 706732

I'm confused. Your first post seemed to imply that you think people engaging in BDSM-esque activities somehow constitutes a form of peer-pressure. Now the issue is porn?

No. 706735

Are you offended because you're the kind of pervert I'm talking about?

No. 706739

nta but “i bet you have vanilla missionary sex” has been a popular insult online for the better part of the last decade, particularly after the rise of tumblr bdsm porn around 2013. and if you use twitter and tiktok you know that increasingly more young girls are bragging/larping about having violent sex.

No. 706745

>i'm confused, what specific subject do you mean?
NTA, but how could you have possibly deduced that? What made you think that anon was even arguing against you?

No. 706747

I'm not attacking your weird fetishes anon. Get therapy.

No. 706748

I feel like you're just trying to bait at this point. I'm not particularly into BDSM, no. I'm genuinely curious as to what you're actually upset about, because your reasoning has been pretty inconsistent thus far.

No. 706751

If you did not understand what I said it's because you have poor reading comprehension skills kinkmeisha

No. 706760

Had a dream where I was able to wrap my two hands around my ribcage and they were touching and I was so happy, woke up and realised It will never happen, because no matter how ana I'll get, I'll have a overall big body frame that's not petite.

I don't know why it made me fucking cry today. I can't stop thinking about getting my ribcage squished or removed or something.

No. 706763

It's because the never ending glut of violent, debasing pornography has made it common for the average male to be a misogynistic sexual sadist, and women have been groomed by the culture into thinking it's exciting and hot to be erotically brutalized. Any idiot should be able to admit this but mysteriously, it remains to be the most widely denied and obscured social issue in existence.
>wtf are you on about??
>I'm confused
You're either retarded or being deliberately obtuse.

No. 706776

>It's because the never ending glut of violent, debasing pornography has made it common for the average male to be a misogynistic sexual sadist
Porn alone didn't cause this. Misogynistic, sadistic impulses toward women would still have existed within these men whether or not violent porn were widely available. I'd argue what you're discussing is merely an extension of a bigger issue that typically begins in early childhood.

There is a difference between exercising a kink in a controlled, safe environment, and using that kink as an excuse to fuel abusive tendencies toward women. The latter is absolutely a problem, but getting rid of porn entirely, or insisting that we label all "non-vanilla" kinks as bad and/or encouraging violence against women, is not going to solve much.

No. 706777

You gotta protect your precious porn and kinks at the expense of all of us and thats selfish.

No. 706779


No. 706781

shut up retard(infighting)

No. 706785

>There is a difference between exercising a kink in a controlled, safe environment, and using that kink as an excuse to fuel abusive tendencies toward women.

My question is why does beating this shit out of women turn kinksters on in the first place?that's misogynistic in itself even if its "safe and consensual".

No. 706786

You can't deal with opinions that upset you, and that's fine.

No. 706787

Just curious, how much CP and actual torture/abuse of trafficked women are you willing to ignore for the sake of your kinks?
Can you guarantee you've never watched any of these 58 videos?

No. 706792

File: 1609549055927.jpg (24.12 KB, 400x300, 15904590.jpg)

No. 706794

this anon is somewhat correct, since men have always treated sex like an assertion of power… porn is a factor but not the reason, you can see this back to ancient greeks.

No. 706795

>beating the shit out of women
What do you mean, specifically? I don't personally consider something like spanking or flogging to be "beating the shit" out of someone, especially if the person is aroused by it and consented to such activity. If you're aroused by, for example, watching a video of a women being within an inch of her life and the context is clearly either non-consensual, or non-sexual, I think that goes beyond the scope of what should be considered appropriate in terms of a sexual kink, and is absolutely a cause for alarm.

What does any of this have to do with the post you're responding to? I said that getting rid of porn entirely isn't going to stop men from doing bad things to women, because the issue doesn't stem from the fact that porn exists.

No. 706796

File: 1609549233746.png (1 MB, 996x692, bhj.png)

The fact that this is becoming "normal" is so sickening to me.

No. 706797

File: 1609549252837.jpg (45.71 KB, 296x320, 1601323581570.jpg)

I spent nearly the whole first day of 2021 on my ass reading lolcow. Fuck I'm gonna try and draw a picture after dinner or something

No. 706798

Porn is not the only reason, but it's part of the problem. It literally monetizes it.
So, why are you arguing with anons who point out it's bad? If you think there are merits that warrant defending it, go ahead and answer the two questions, so we can all know exactly where you stand.

No. 706800

But why is flogging and spanking something that turns them on though? Its mental illness.

No. 706804

I friendzoned a guy today and he took it extremely badly. I did lead him on a bit, but not enough to warrant this reaction I don’t think. Is it bad that I don’t feel guilty? He told me loves me and he was going to “officially” ask me out last night but he got shy and now I’ve “broken his heart.” Never even met the dude, we just play video games through discord. He’s being really pushy and not taking no for an answer, insisting I give him a chance, being obtuse even after I explained exactly why I don’t think we’re compatible. I’m starting to get pissed off. Also worried, because he knows where I live.

No. 706805

NTA but actually there's a scientific reason to how being on the receiving end of pain can actually bring pleasure but very MILD pain like a spank on the butt.


No. 706810

You are not bad for feeling guilty. The second you would have felt guilty, he would have taken advantage of it and guilt tripped you into a relationship. He does not deserve a chance, especially not now considering how he's acting. He's shooting himself in a foot considering how his behavior is a huge red flag on what a fucking nutjob he is. Just ghost the fucker.

No. 706811

An anon implied that violent porn is the reason that it is supposedly more common these days for men to be sadistic and misogynist toward women. I disagreed that porn was the sole reason for this, and explained my reasoning. I never even outright disagreed that porn was an issue. I don't think porn consumption, in general is a serious problem, but I am mostly against the use of porn currently because the industry is so poorly regulated. Even with amateur porn, you almost never know for sure whether or not both parties consented to having the video uploaded. If there were some way of knowing for certain that nobody was hurt during the process, I'd say porn is like any other self-indulgent activity: it's fine in moderation.

>Its mental illness
Considering most studies don't suggest that BDSM practitioners are any more or less mentally ill than the average person, I'd beg to differ. Why does it turn them on? I don't know. I don't think there's a consensus on why people like to combine pain with pleasure. Some claim that it's connected to some kind of abuse they suffered in early childhood, but other practitioners don't report any sort of abuse.

No. 706813

No is a full sentence, you didn't owe him an explanation or justification to begin with. Block and delete sis.

No. 706815

I'm just replying to let you know that I agree with you entirely, and I don't know how you have the stamina and patience with the anons like the ones arguing with you. Kudos.

No. 706816

Being abusive and rapey was once considered something you should be ashamed of and only do behind closed doors. Porn made it hot and anything else is vanilla.

No. 706819

Samefag and women werent expected to be as kinky as possible or theyre labeled a prude and ~vanilla~. Men have always been degenerates but in the past it was something to be ashamed of, now it's something to show how kinky and ***~cool girl~*** you are.

No. 706828

Fuck me. My bf had a bit of a head injury over the holidays and had some really weird sleep behavior and I think it might be related. He went to the emergency room with his mom and I'm so worried. He was monitored originally and everything was fine but he started hitting himself in his sleep last night. A couple hours later he bolted out of bed and was standing in the door way for a couple seconds before hitting himself again. He was super disoriented when I woke him out of sleep, way more than usual. He was himself once he was finally awake but he's never done anything like this in all the years I've known him.

No. 706831

literal mental illness

No. 706833

i like cuddling but little spoons will fart in their sleep and it’s just always an unfortunate surprise

No. 706835

Agreed. I remember my psychologically abusive bf loved bdsm porn where the women would be crying. Men who are into that aren’t right in the head.

No. 706838

I reluctantly downloaded tiktok because my sister pressurised me, promising there were funny videos, and honestly, I don’t get it. For every video that could give you a chuckle or whatever, there’s 100 shit ones. Like I’m not a prude or anything, but it’s literally all about sex or sexual undertones aswell, mostly from very young looking girls. Like everything is about showing cleavage or having a huge ass or dancing seductively/‘cutesy’ , yadda yadda you get the jist. I didn’t actually think it would be /that/ bad but colour me shocked. Also with like 10 mins of scrolling, I felt so shit about my appearance. I can’t imagine what young teenagers are going to have going through their heads seeing all this, just sad really. Deleted the app anyway.

No. 706839

>Porn made it hot
What's with the belief people like this hold, that for all of human history everybody had exactly the same Normal Socially-Approved Sexual Tastes™ and that no one was ever attracted to something seen as Degenerate™ by their culture, until modern internet pornography was invented? And why do they think there wasn't pornography prior to the internet, or that people couldn't have been attracted to certain things that would later depicted in porn, before porn depicting it existed? There was a world before the internet, you know. There are museums dedicated to these kinds of artifacts, and with simple Google searches you can find historical archives of late 1800s BDSM, bondage, and spanking-themed erotic photography that was made solely for consumption.

>Men have always been degenerates but in the past it was something to be ashamed of, now it's something to show
Pick one, anon. Either the misogynistic oppression and abuse of women was a prominent problem of the past that current progress towards women's liberation is attempting to change, or the misogynistic oppression and abuse of women was "totally shamed in the past but now it's normal and seen as cool!!". Do you sincerely, legitimately believe men used to treat women better, that men would reprimand other men for being sexist because it was "degenerate", that the routine subjugation of women and their rights wasn't commonplace in our violently patriarchal, puritanical, regressive past, and that when late 1990s internet porn came into existence it suddenly made men sexually aroused at the idea of hating women?

It seems common in discussions like these for there to be a significant amount of people who naively believe the reactionary mentality that there was any point in the past that was better for women than the present, and incorrectly correlating what they perceive the ills of society to be with modern inventions (like correlating pornography or erotic content with the internet and social media) despite those things existing long before the inventions they're attributed to. If you think porn is what causes sexism and want to go back to a false image of a "traditional" past, just become a /pol/cel. If not, learn to think about history and culture in a linear way, instead of interpreting everything that happens or has ever happened as a "specific to exactly my lifespan" thing.(enough)

No. 706840

My point is men have always been gross but it was seen as a bad thing and something they should work on changing. Porn normalizes it and makes it trendy. Now, if you just want to have some basic missionary you're called a prude because you dont want an 9 inch dildo up your ass while some scrotw slaps you. You keep saying porn causes sexism and literally no one is saying it did.

No. 706870

File: 1609555888372.jpeg (51.55 KB, 602x554, trashcan.jpeg)

i don't know how to carry a conversation over text. i'm suffering. why can't males just be more interesting.

No. 706872

I usually end up being little spoon and ripping a loud one while I'm being spooned is my biggest fear lmao

No. 706887

My kitchen floor gets dirty so quickly that I basically have to do a full mopping every 1-2 days and it just annoys me so much. I honestly don't think my family is really that messy but who knows.

No. 706896

I'm distancing myself from one of my friends out of jealously. I'm tired of being unattractive while seeing all the attention she gets without having to put 1% of the effort I put into my looks and femininity.

No. 706927

File: 1609563363681.jpg (30.77 KB, 680x421, EqUpxexXcAETuuK.jpg)

i belive in you girl, be honest about it too, he should know exactly what kind of porn sick shit is wrong with him.

No. 706928

reddit is cancer for any anime related discussion because 70% of the time its some scrote trying to project his misogynistic fantasies on to everything, looking at you r/titanfolk

No. 706936

File: 1609564658581.jpg (172.16 KB, 1242x1211, adcd73ba-a02d-4986-8e29-4538e0…)

>Reddit is cancer

No. 706941

As a former fujo I used to laugh at how they spat on anything gay because it degrades their precious action figure self-inserts. I laughed because despite their "shipping's for girls!!" they upvoted the most basic, protag x waifu ships to the main page every time. And if there was ever a lesbian pairing, it only passed the test if it was uwu helpless loli yuri waifus. I know fujos can be cringe but the scrote weebs have such shit, basic taste with no chemistry while being hypocrites toward female fans

No. 706947

I know "bc grandchildren" is not a good enough reason to procreate but at the same time I really do want my parents to have that experience. I was recently in tears for a week after my dad made some offhanded comment about a kid in a commercial and missing when his children were that age because I worry something will happen to him before I'm ready to start a family. my parents started late and I can almost see them getting older right in front of me and even though they're not really pressuring me I guess I'm kind of pressuring myself.

at the same time I have such mixed feelings about having children. on one hand I would like to have bio kids if possible but I'm absolutely terrified of the idea of pregnancy. I have body image issues and REALLY bad medical anxiety, and becoming pregnant would mean having to confront all of those things at once. part of me would be secretly relieved if I turned out to be infertile but I know I'd also be devastated if that were truly the case.

I know no one can help me but me and I probably should seek therapy tbh but quelle surprise, I'm scared of doing that too! maybe this will be the year I actually start to take my life seriously though, who knows.

No. 706954

went on a date and he spent the entire dinner trying to explain a joke and I wasn't able to speak the entire time except when I had to butt his stream of loud talking in a quiet restaurant to ask him to wrap it up, just for him to talk another 30 minutes to finish the joke. When I went home and explained to him it was rude to talk non-stop the entire time to stretch out a 5 minute joke into an hour, he started pinching himself and crying and claiming he had anxiety issues and whined about how bad he felt

I literally can't with this new age dating scene, back to sugar dating it is then

No. 706956

Men are truly next level when it comes to social ineptitude, fucking hell. I'd have left mid date.

No. 706958

Sigh, this is why I'm afraid of going on dates even tho I'm using dating apps. Don't wanna waste my time or worse, find out the guy's some creepy catfish mf

No. 706960

chile… are we the same person? The only difference is that I'm not concerned about pregnancy I just have a fear of my kids turning out as emo and insecure as me and them resenting me for it. That or they have autism or some other issue, as bad as it sounds to say.(chile)

No. 706967

I don't care if the dudes ugly, short or whatever but god damn it's like these men crawled in a hole and their only form of learning socialization was adam sandler movies and 4chan, although that probably isn't far from reality.

No. 706974


I didn't mention it because I figured it's one more thing I'll deal with in my imaginary future counselling but to be perfectly candid I'm scared of that too!! I just pray my husband would balance things personality wise; I know he has his own struggles but he seems to have had a better socialized childhood than my weird feral gloom so I can only hope.

>they have autism or some other issue, as bad as it sounds to say.

oh boy do I know what you mean. I have so much pre-guilt over the idea of potentially having a kid with developmental issues because I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it.

No. 707029

My stepmum was diagnosed with schizophrenia and I researched a lot to find out what her experience is like and I'm majorly spooked after watching this ted talk where a girl talks about the clown from IT always being in her periphery as a visual hallucination and since then I've been very scared of becoming schizophrenic and I've been very paranoid as I keep on thinking I'm hearing or seeing weird things (like I opened a door and the amount of pressure was way less than usually required) help I hope you can't psyche yourself into psychosis

No. 707031

Stop thinking about it and forget the ted talk inserts catface

I wish I could help you but I’m a psychotic bitch so idk.

No. 707035

Kek. Ladies, just block and ghost. You don't owe these scrotes an explanation and all you stand to gain from telling them what went wrong on the date is their indignation. Scrotes block and ghost women for WAY less offenses. Play their games.

No. 707044

Last night I woke up and my boyfriend had my hand on his dick, next thing I remember I woke up and his hands were down my pants, I said stop and he did. Fell asleep again and I woke up a bunch of times to him humping me.

Woke up this morning and he was like "did I do stuff to you last night when you were asleep." I said yes and he said "sorry" but that was that?

Later he told me he had a sex dream which was why he was doing that.

I'm upset about it- like seriously upset because I've been assaulted before and he knows this, AND we've had conversations about why consent is needed so you can't have sex with someone whilst they sleep and yet now he's all miserable, giving me the silent treatment and acting like I'm the world's biggest bitch because I'm upset about it. He's in such a mood with me and I can't tell if actually I am overreacting because he didn't mean to do it because he was sleeping. Fucks sake. I'm about to tell him I don't want to have sex today (we had a bit of a sexy night planned) and I just KNOW he's gonna get so much worse. FFS.

No. 707049

I've hit my husband in my sleep, and once tried to accidentally suffocate him with his blanket. Take this with a grain of salt, and I get why you're upset, but I wouldn't let something he did in his sleep affect your day.
To stay ot with thread, I'm tired of night terrors and other stupid sleep problems. I would take the trazadone prescribed for it, but trying to wake up from that stuff is like shaking yourself out of being stumble drunk

No. 707055

If he does it again you need to have a serious talk with him. Once is a reasonable accident (even though he's acting like a dumb crybaby bitch about it), twice is suspicious.

Even the "did I do stuff to you last night when you were asleep." is sus. Does he usually do stuff during his dreams? If not then why would he even think he could've done something just from a wet dream. Anyway, not trying to make you doubt your relationship, I hope your bf stops acting like a child.

No. 707057

Anon wtf, the whole “I was sleeping” thing sounds like a massive cop out. Does he have a history of sleepwalking or doing things in his sleep? I’m sure it happens sometimes like the other anon said, but 3 times in 1 night sounds so suspicious.

No. 707059

He has once kicked me in his sleep before and put me in a headlock but that's it. I asked what he remembered and he only remembered part of it so I told him the rest and he started crying. About to tell him I don't want to have sex tonight so we'll see how that goes.

That's true, he's usually good with consent so I don't want to make a big deal out of nothing you know? Just really disconcerting waking up with a dick in your hand.

No. 707062

Maybe he's crying cause he feels bad about it happening? Still doesn't explain why he's acting that way though. It's not about him, it's about you, so he should just suck it up.

No. 707064

Even if he was just sleepassaulting or whatever you wanna call it, he should understand why you want some space and not get grumpy because he’s temporarily not getting sex. Him being grumpy to you about the whole thing is the most concerning because it shows a huge lack of empathy.

No. 707069

How do you accidentally slip your dick in someone's hand while you're asleep, or slip their hand precisely on your dick? Both hands in their pants? Humping them instead of just a pillow or the blanket or something?

No. 707070

Well he self harmed over it so it's definitely about him now. Next time I won't say anything oh well- funnily enough I'd actually just gotten over it and was considering sex tonight kek

No. 707071

File: 1609594070027.jpg (10.35 KB, 300x272, um.jpg)

>dude who sexually assaults someone in their sleep, knowing they have a history with a assault, makes it about himself
>sulks, cries, and self harms in order to guilt the other person
>"Next time I won't say anything"

No. 707072

>Anon's boyfriend sexually and physically assaults her in her sleep and then self harms over it
Jesus christ how do you anons find these people? Send his ass to therapy for lord's sake. Some of you have a really warped perception of what are normal quirks and not something that needs professional help.

No. 707077

I genuinely hope you reconsider this relationship anon. None of that is normal behavior. He needs professional help, not someone who won’t bring up problems because they’re too triggering.

No. 707078

no offense but you should punch your bf in the face wtf kind of manipulation tactic is that

No. 707080

I've been thinking this lately but I do really love him, he's my first relationship and he is actually really lovely he just has bpd which means he gets in moods. plus he told me he'd kill himself if I left

No. 707085

This just keeps getting worse.
>My boyfriend assaults me in my sleep by making me grab his cock and putting me in a headlock
>He starts crying and makes it about him when I confront him about it later
>He self harmed so lol I guess I'm not going to bring it up to him anymore!
>Oh right he has BPD and threatens to kill himself if I ever leave her
Anon, love yourself. BPDcunts won't kill themselves, I swear. They always suicide bait but will never follow through so just either leave right now (the preferred option) or get him into therapy and don't get into his stupid games. Your life is too precious to be wasted in this loser.

No. 707089

Pretty sure the problem is you

No. 707096

I just found out that my bullies have a better life than me, some work at the embassy, some study abroad and some even went to good schools. I just want to die, the rare glimpse of me being happy was…rare, nothing is fair anymore, I always have the shit end of the stick. I was never the winner, just a sore loser with a bad life.

No. 707097

samefagging to correct typo *if I ever leave him damnit

No. 707101

Agreed. People with BPD are toxic af to have relationships with, you will never be able to bring real issues up with them without them making it about themselves and doing the whole “woe is me” and making you feel like you’re in the wrong. BPD people are super nice because they do the whole love bombing but then switch and manipulate intentionally or not. Honestly it’s not worth the hassle, dump the unstable manbaby and if he threatens to an hero, call the police.

No. 707102

>they do the whole love bombing
Shit. I’m feeling down lately and think there’s something wrong with me but this is seriously concerning. No wonder my mom disowned me. I’m glad I’m isolating myself however.

And nah I’m not OP, I feel for her. Don’t know what to give advice for her though. I wish people would understand and respect consent.

No. 707103

File: 1609598500772.jpg (91.36 KB, 884x1164, rpslxrbf44e31.jpg)

How do you let your pets get obese? Is it really so hard to keep them a healthy weight? Lacking the self control to keep yourself from getting fat is one thing, lacking the disipline for saying no to a child is another (still, not ok), but a pet is the easiest thing in the world to keep a healthy weight. Stop equating love with food you're killing the fucking animal you dumb bitch. Dont get mad at me when I passive aggressively tell you it's a shame theyre so unhappy and going to pass away in a few years. Side note : Its not an owo mega chonking chonker it's an unhealthy, unhappy, abused animal.

No. 707104

>suicide bait
Oh god this is what I do too. I want to kill myself every day yet never did it. I wish I would have gotten help for it the moment I turned 18 but my mom assured me that I do not have bpd. How will I be a good person? I already asked here in a long ass vent but deleted my post.

No. 707113

File: 1609599845736.jpeg (58.94 KB, 640x656, FBF4F4D1-8ACE-42CE-B1F9-3C0D30…)

i had a date with a girl that went really well (good chemistry, great sex, begging me to stay longer) and we have been messaging lots in the past few days being very flirty and we were supposed to be having another date this evening but she’s just texted me that she isn’t massively over her ex and doesn’t think it’s fair to me if i don’t want something casual which is fine with me and i told her that but it just came out the blue and she hasn’t answered my text…. now im panicking that there’s something wrong with me and i would rather she just be straight with me about it

feeling like picrel

No. 707114

You can only be diagnosed as having BPD by a qualified professional and often it can be mistaken for depression and bipolar. If you still feel like this you need to see a doctor/therapist/psychiatrist.
I think there’s a difference between being suicidal and suicidal bait. If your intention of telling people you feel suicidal is to manipulate them in to staying with you or other things as a means to an end then this is toxic (doesn’t always mean you are evil or bad but need help, and others should not have to be manipulated in to complying with the demands and can walk away) If it’s because you feel like you actually need help and not to gain something from the person you’re telling then that doesn’t make you a bad person, but equally for both you need professional help.

No. 707115

I know how you feel. Stop with the public self loathing as a start.

No. 707116

File: 1609600401357.jpg (85.06 KB, 600x600, 1582885720509.jpg)

aaahh my bf always goes to the toilet seconds before I'm about to go and then keeps it occupied for at least 30 minutes no joke
then when I finally get to go I can't because I have to wait for the smell to go away
he's on there right now what the hell is he even doing for this long rreeee

No. 707118

kek I would ask him to let you know if he’s going to use the bathroom for so long. I always ask others before I’m going to use bathroom or shower/bath for extended period of time “do you need to use the bathroom before I go shower?”, just think it’s polite if you’re sharing a space, also don’t want people knocking on the door asking how long I will be.

No. 707119

Reading my uni group chat is so painful. One guy got overexcited that he got a thanks, and the chick tried to make him chill by joking about it. And he thinks this is his cue to go "oh, I'm not a looker (haha) I'm not ryuan gosling (lol) whenever I get a compliment from a girl I have to savor it (hahaha)". The worst fucking thing you can do as a loser ugly male is to bring attention to it.

No. 707121

I'm sure it's not because of anything you did anon. Sounds like she likes you a lot and just wants to be honest about her own issues. Chances are that she's panicking about how she's coming across and what you think of her just as much. It's easy to get insecure and assume that you're the one who screwed up but try to remember there's no actual basis for that!

No. 707127

I'm sure it took a lot of bravery on her part to admit that she isn't over her ex, so I'd only take it as a positive sign. She's likely not replying because she's super worried about how you feel, and is maybe trying to distance herself. Just make it clear to her that youre truly ok with it

No. 707128

I truly despise people who say they never tip servers and when you point out why that's horrible, they pretend it's some weird self-righteous way of protesting tipping culture on behalf of severs. They say it's a "fuck you" to the owners. How the fuck does that make sense??? If you are eating at the restaurant and not tipping the server, that in no way impacts the owner. It is supporting the owner by giving them business while fucking over the server.

Also, I wish people would stop being dumb enough to blame all individual restaurant owners for tipping culture. There are plenty of owners who have tried to do hourly salary, but they have to raise the food prices so much that it hurts their businesses. Who would have thought that an individual owner doesn't have the power to overturn a century of what American culture dictated? What a shock.

No. 707132

I gotta say I don't really understand tipping culture as a whole. I live in a country where tipping isn't much of a thing. If you eat out at a restaurant and have a good time it's appreciated if you round up your bill by a couple euros, going from 47 to 50 or something, but it's never expected of you. Obviously if I'd visit the US I'd be mindful of tipping, but I've heard so many different stories on how exactly it works.
Do restaurant owners just not pay their workers minimum wage? If so, how is that allowed? If tips are just a bonus on top of a normal wage you'd get elsewhere, I can understand how people think it's entitled to always expect a tip of a certain percentage. I've also heard stories about the tipping thing causing huge inequalities in wages just because some servers work in better timeslots or restaurant sections than others. And that way, servers get all the extra money while kitchen staff get nothing. Is it common for US restaurants to pool all tips and distribute them equally across staff? Because that's how it's mostly done where I live.
Sorry for all the questions, just kind of baffled by this phenomenon.

No. 707145

What makes you say that?

No. 707147

In Canada, "liquor servers" receive a lower minimum wage than people in other industries. It's usually close to $3 less than the general minimum. The idea is that money received in tips compensates for the lower wage. In these cases, tips are commonly distributed between liquor servers and back of house workers (who are subject to the general minimum). To my knowledge, it's not entirely uncommon that the owner/management will even cut himself a share of the tips. These are just a few reasons why issues around tipping draw strong responses among North Americans. I'm inclined to say that it's an archaic and dysfunctional system.

No. 707150

"Are you gonna take long? If yes let me pee first"

No. 707151

same in my country anon. I think in the US they don’t have laws to pay a living wage to their workers so the tips top up their wages or something which is really bad. I never tip in my country unless I’ve had some magical experience thanks to that particular member of staff and in other countries it’s seen as rude to tip. I just think the concept is dumb that you have to pay for the service that is not optional to eat out, why not include it in the price and make it mandatory or pay your workers a living wage US

No. 707154

Thanks for the explanations. How about deliveries or fast food? I've heard that it's common to tip your pizza delivery guy but I don't think I've ever heard about tipping fast food chain employees. Do delivery people also get a lower minimum wage with the expectation of it being topped up with tips?
To me it just seems strange to have these sort of arbitrary standards for what the tip percentage should be. If you eat at an expensive restaurant that doesn't mean the servers have to work harder than at a cheap one. So generally the tip is something you have to keep in mind before ordering something, knowing that the dish is going to be ~20% more expensive in practice? Similar to estimating the added tax before buying something in a store (which is also something I only recently discovered they do in the US)?

No. 707157

In America, servers are legally allowed to be paid significantly less than normal minimum wage (like less than half of it) because customers are very much expected to tip. The standard tip is 20% for good service, 15% is considered the minimum you should give if the server is decent. 25% if you make them do a lot more work than normal. The vast majority of people in the USA understand that, like it or not, tipping is a responsibility you sign up for when you eat at a table service restaurant in America. However, there's some degenerates out there that will happily get table service then refuse to tip.

>I've also heard stories about the tipping thing causing huge inequalities in wages just because some servers work in better timeslots or restaurant sections than others.

Yes. The better/more experienced servers tend to get the more busy (IE more lucrative) shifts and sections. In all fairness, these require much harder work, so it makes sense they would get more money.

>And that way, servers get all the extra money while kitchen staff get nothing. Is it common for US restaurants to pool all tips and distribute them equally across staff? Because that's how it's mostly done where I live.

Different restaurants do it differently, but usually cooks don't get any tips because their full wage is paid by the restaurant. At most places I worked servers end up making way more money than cooks, which I don't think is fair, because even though cooking is a lot easier than serving it is a lot more dangerous.

No. 707162

>How about deliveries or fast food?
Delivery drivers also get paid less than minimum wage and expect tips. You aren't expected to tip fast food employees, though.

>So generally the tip is something you have to keep in mind before ordering something, knowing that the dish is going to be ~20% more expensive in practice? Similar to estimating the added tax before buying something in a store (which is also something I only recently discovered they do in the US)?


No. 707173

Is public self loathing venting on lolcow? What do you mean by self loathing in public? Halp
Everyone keeps telling me that but what’s the reason professionals don’t help me and just let me ramble (coz i’m nervous and dunno what else to do there i’m clueless) ?
What can they even do? They neglected me when I were a kid and even more as an adult? Help me fix myself pls by explaining to me what psychologists can even do for me and how I can ask for help even if it’s not bpd?

No. 707174

>Is public self loathing venting on lolcow?


No. 707188

File: 1609612890477.jpg (67.38 KB, 482x427, Ed4-VjGWsAch6Sk.jpg)

brain fog is killing me, i literally feel like a dead man walking. feel like i could just fall asleep at any time, other people can tell because i get confused and make tiny mistakes all of the fucking time. only thing that helps somewhat is exercise but the effect fades quickly

No. 707189

File: 1609613110850.jpg (35.44 KB, 500x614, 0fc26dce78019f341d1249ad45a21c…)

Dead "man" walking, you say?

No. 707190

i know you're joking but it's lolcow so maybe i should preface for the eslfags that it's a common idiom

No. 707193

(that i'm pretty sure i used incorrectly, but)

No. 707196

The emotional numbing effect I hear about from users of opioids is too tempting. That's what I need. If I can't reliably numb myself to the world, at this rate, I really will kill myself. Better an addict than dead, right?

No. 707201

>Better an addict than dead, right?
i can't even put into words how wrong this is. any issue youre currently facing will be infinitely worse if you do drugs and your inevitable attempts at sobriety will be a hellish uphill battle. not even once.

No. 707204

I can't describe how much i fucking hate the city I live in right now. People say it's so beautiful all the time, how its so cultured and ~aesthetic~, and hipsters are just waiting to come to uni here every year, but its just windy, gray and has wet snow all around, people kill themselves because of the weather here. Every time I go out during this time of year I have a scowl on my face nonstop. CANNOT fucking wait until the broders are open, im buying tickets to my hometown asap.

No. 707213

It’s a vent thread tho. But I see your point. It can spill out unconsciously if I make it a habit. Do you have bpd?

No. 707218

Amazing, I thought I was going to die of some disease (probably covid but hospitals didn't accept any patients when I got sick and ther was still a mask shortage) when I was abroad to look for job opportunities a few months ago because I could barely breathe for a month and I couldn't digest food so I had diarrhea right after I ate something for two months, and it took me one more month to not feel random pain anywhere and not be tired all the time anymore. I had to cancel all of my plans for the next years to come back to my crazy as fuck family's place so I could recover and not die alone at the other side of the planet.

They all knew I was sick but they won't stop minimizing it and saying shit like "lol you looked/sounded dumb on whatsapp haha that was funny" because I had to catch my breath all the time or "lol you're just paranoid, what if it was just stress?" even though I was pale as fuck and weighted a bit less than 40kg when they saw me once I came back to my country. Now they're starting to worry because my big sister celebrated new year's eve with friends, then came at home today to take something, then went to celebrate a friend's birthday just one hour ago. I'm not even going to feel bad for anyone if they get sick and won't help, I just hope I'll stay healthy. Now I'm stuck with them and they think it's normal to constantly insult me but they get upset or threaten me with violence when I tell them to stop shit talking me.

No. 707221

do you live in edinburgh? i have a friend studying in uni there and this could word for word be something she'd say. i hope you're doing alright though! try and do something nice for yourself whenever you can!

No. 707230

Thanks anon, your words are genuinely comforting. Actually I've been to Edinburgh and I loved it! I think it's genuinely beautiful, I spent months thinking about it after visiting. Maybe because I love places with higher altitudes, my city's sea level and really flat. Hope your friend gets to a place where she feels at home!

No. 707232

Im having a panic attack but im such a miserable shit i dont even have friends or family to call thay i post it on an anon wesbite. It feels like the world is slipping and everything is fake and i cannot breathe

No. 707259

Opioids are a battle that you can't win, especially if don't even see the battle

No. 707266

Wow fuck them. Having diarrhea for more than a week is not fun, let alone 2 months. Some people just have no empathy whatsoever. Hope you are recovering well.

No. 707278

Im sorry. panic attacks are so scary. I hope you were able to calm down. you should treat yourself to something nice now to recover. its not fun to go through that

No. 707281

why do i gotta shave my pits everytime i wanna go in the pool? reeeeEEEe i just want to be a hairy bitch without people staring at me

No. 707294

I've recovered since then, thank god, but I thought I was going to die for sure back then. And it also happened at the worst time and place possible too. I managed to get some rest as soon as I came back to my country and last time I weighted myself just last week I noticed I gain all my last weight back so that's a relief.

No. 707301

this is such a brain-dead take. trauma that happens to people in their formative years (and trauma is very common among people that have had to grow up poor, with drunk and broke parents constantly pissed off about being drunk and poor and seeing children as "crumbsnatchers" or a waste of space/money rather than children) isn't something that just deletes itself once they turn 18. it's shit that affects every single thing you do throughout your entire life

plus there's the whole deal that life isn't, and has never exactly been kind nor fair to poor people…damn bitch get some empathy lmao no wonder people hate you irl

No. 707326

You don't want to romanticize opioids, anon. Learn from Luna Slater. It's a slippery slope.
>if I can't reliably numb myself
The key word here is reliably, because you can't. Think of it like this: unless you can somehow literally stay high 24/7, which is impossible, the shitty feeling is just going to be that much more intense whenever you're not on it. In the end, it's still the same amount of shit, just portioned differently. Equal exchange and all that.
Then soon enough you'll develop a tolerance and your usual dose makes you feel just as shitty as you do now, except if you take nothing you feel twice as shit. So you'll have to up the dose to keep the numbing going. You have to keep periodically upping your dose, and eventually you'll arrive at the highest dose you could physically (or financially) handle. Except after some time that too means you feel just as bad as you did before. At this point you're effectively held hostage by the drug: your only choices are continuing at that highest dose, which doesn't even make you feel better than you do now, or taking less and making life a living hell.
So you keep taking the drugs because it's the only way to keep you from feeling even worse, instead of it making you feel better. Then you laugh at your former self because you understand that you actively turned the feeling you wanted to get away from into the best feeling you're capable of anymore.
>better an addict than dead, right?
The former will seal your fate of the latter.

No. 707377

File: 1609630467992.jpeg (106.25 KB, 960x960, 1605807654835.jpeg)

damn that's awful and really childish anon. I don't want to judge too much if this is really impacting your mental health but distancing yourself from her won't change the root of the problem. You really need to stop seeing women as competitors especially for something so shallow as looks. The only people who are benefiting from competion between women are men. You can be better than that and I'm sure that you are not nearly as unattratctive than what you think you are if you are putting all that efforts into your look. If your friend is beautiful without trying then good for her !

Also is she a good friend ? Because if she is what you are doing is really shitty and she probably won't understand why you are acting like that.

No. 707403

File: 1609635247688.jpg (937.72 KB, 1438x2319, Cuntwad.jpg)


No. 707405

I don't know how much more I can handle before I try to kill myself somehow. I'm just so depressed. It's the dead of winter. The only people I've regularly interacted with for almost three months is my mum and boyfriend. That's my entire social bubble due to my situation. I don't think I fit into anyone else's.
I was hoping in November that maybe I could let new years eve be one day where I allowed myself to socialize. I could live on that interaction for a while. But numbers went up already before christmas. I didn't text any of my close friends because it didn't feel right. I didn't get anything from them either. I did see my best friend dance in a circle with more people than she should after just having spent christmas with her family. I see other friends who also seem to be doing social stuff with people their age despite it clearly not complying with the guidelines.. At this point it's like I'm just suffering for no reason. Clearly other people don't care any more. I don't even know how to find my place in this world with a job or whatever because I'm retarded and scared I'll fail at anything I try because I can't even properly take care of myself.. now I feel like I'm slowly but surely losing all my friends on top of all my other shit. I'm so tired.

No. 707408

Money talks and if you're rich, famous, and well connected enough, you can get away with anything, especially if you're a man

No. 707428

one of my tumblr mutuals reblogged a post about how intermittant fasting is an eating disorder and people who recommend it as diet advice should 'go to hell' and im both confused and annoyed. i just dont understand it, most people practicing intermittent fasting aren't doing these long intense starvation sessions for days on end, its usually about 16 hours without eating. which is completely doable for most people. idk i guess im just mad because its helped me in the past and it's stupid and harmful to call a reasonable diet an 'eating disorder'

No. 707431

that's like saying not eating candy is an eating disorder, sure some people can get very carried away with it but majority can just do it in modEration

No. 707434

I'd believe it if someone used intermittent fasting to mask an eating disorder, but assuming someone follows the rules and eats a healthy calorie budget, it isn't disordered eating.

No. 707450

i can't stop thinking about the fact that my boyfriend will probably never fall in love with me because i'm ugly. i think i'm going to kill myself this year

No. 707465

Christmas and new years was god awful and I just want to forget everything. Or change my name and move to Guatemala. How do I forget?

No. 707468

how and why are you dating him?

No. 707469

Simple people want to be special and different so badly. There's nothing beautiful or creative about your dumbass seeking validation online. You're not changing the world or making history by tweeting and pretending to be radical with bleached eyebrows and ignoring your sex oppression. Get a life. Let smart people write and create without your idiot mob mentality ruining things you're too stupid to understand.

No. 707470

File: 1609652352903.jpeg (24.79 KB, 500x163, 3787B759-EF71-4CFD-BCA2-EFA1B6…)

I have nothing specific to say I just feel sad I hope we all can feel better.

No. 707471

he's never explicitly stated or implied that i am unattractive but i know for a fact that i am objectively ugly and it's a plague on my entire existence

No. 707479

Just realized that I was being groomed by a someone who was 10 years older than me when I was between the age of 11-15. I felt so much shame over it for so many years and a lot of embarrassment. Especially because when my family found out, instead of reporting the guy they instead blamed me for it and called me a whore and a slut for dating someone online and also called me retarded and claimed I had a learning disability and laughed at me because my spelling was really bad. Even told my teachers how I needed to be put in special Ed for it. They also would make jokes and ridicule me over it for many years after, claiming that I would never amount to anything for "whoring myself online." thing is, I never even sent any lewds to this guy and even if I had, I was a fucking child. I also couldn't even bring friends over because my mom would gossip to my friends parents about how I would become a bad influence for their daughters. Fuck, I hate my family so much.

No. 707481

I’m a Colombian now living in America for about 3 years and I got mocked for my accent for the first time today. Guy working at the gas station kept rudely pretending he couldn’t understand me (I have a kinda thick accent but I’ve literally never had anyone have a problem understanding me before). Politely repeated myself each time and went to the bathroom before leaving and apparently he thought I had left and he and the other lady behind the counter were imitating me. Ran out and had a good cry in the car. It’s not hard to just be fucking nice

No. 707482

Man, fuck your family. I’m so so sorry that happened to you. Please know it wasn’t your fault. You were only a kid. I hope you can get away from those assholes

No. 707483

They sound like pieces of shit, sorry that happened to you anon.

No. 707486

File: 1609657426304.jpeg (94.99 KB, 750x614, CEF1FC2E-197E-4AB5-BA0A-67E06E…)

Today at work a woman came in with 8 industrial sized duffel bags that each weighed 50lbs+ as well as 4 other smaller suitcases, made me lift and wrap every single one by myself, paid over $1k for shipping and didn’t leave even a single fucking cent as a tip. It’s 2am and I’m still fuming over it, can’t sleep because of the back pain it caused.

No. 707494

If someone's mocking your accent know they have a mental age of a child, imagine having such a meaningless life that hearing an accent is a great novelty to you. Don't take it to heart anon.

No. 707501

Currently looking into options on how to help an acquaintance that seems to be planning to kill herself (suddenly selling almost all of her stuff, more or less scrubbing the internet clean of her presence, last night she asked for two people to help witnessing her signing a legal document - a requirement when you write a testament), it is a bit iffy whether or not forced commitment is a thing in my country and I'm not sure if these things would be considered proof enough to have her committed in the first place since it is technically just speculation. Honestly, looking into all this is making myself almost feel suicidal.

>inb4 "why don't you talk to her?"

She is a handful to deal with and is prone to aggressive outbursts, I always felt sorry for how she has managed to burn almost all her bridges ever since she broke up with her boyfriend a couple of years ago and has been putting herself in dangerous situations since. I see how her outbursts are based on her being so depressed that she doesn't know how to handle all the emotions she us building up (she is obviously an undiagnosed fellow bpd-fag). However, I'm of the mentality that you have to prioritize your own health if you feel that if a situation is too heavy for you to handle, especially if you suffer from mental illness yourself.
Tl;dr I don't think I can handle her intense mood swings without being very affected myself in a very bad way.

No. 707513

File: 1609666638626.jpg (18.25 KB, 264x275, 1476996377726.jpg)

Samefag cause of editing
My fucking loser of a brother phoned me on NYE. He was obviously on drugs (which I dont have issues with) and it was all he wanted to talk about. He did MKAT that night, but he also wanted to talk about other times that he did other drugs. Really humble-bragging like, as if I would be impressed. He used to be a neckbeard and would not fit in with the cool kids, so I think he tries to compensate now (he is 29 years old, jobless). It is pathetic. We are both way past the time where drug use is something to brag about. Besides, people that do them dont brag about it to the extent he was doing it. Every time I would try to change the topic, he tried to steer it back. And fuckibg MKAT? He tried to paint it to me like some cool drug that all the kids are doing, but I have experience with it myself (as I am a casual drug user, but he would NEVER hear that from me) so I kept shutting him down.
He also talks the same way about women he fucked (teenagers mostly, because an adult woman would never touch him) but he does not call them women, just "pieces of ass" (I know, cringe). He once expressed to me his desire to fuck my godmother, cause she "still got it".
I cant stand his poser ways. I miss my brother.

No. 707530

File: 1609673751030.gif (795.58 KB, 370x235, 4ee.gif)

my partners ex trying to message them. like bitch havent you done enough damage? its been almost two years, fuck off. ill fuckin fight

No. 707538

I hate when people who are male or 5’9+ cry about how hard it is to lose weight. They are living life on easy mode when it comes to being skinny. A binge day for me is a good diet day for them. If I was just 5’9, by now I’d have reached my fucking goal weight. Women of short or average height have to work so much harder and eat so much less.
Men, especially, can get away with eating so much. Honestly, you have to be the world’s biggest glutton to be tall, male and fat. Shit just doesn't add up.

No. 707545

The real advantage is being introduced to the concepts of saving and making rational decisions, knowing what a functional relationship looks like etc. I had the same advantage, parents were fairly high wage earners who lived below their means and saved a bunch. My primary role models had good traits i could latch onto without having to think too hard about.

But I do take some issue with the amount of 'poor people' who live their lives pay check to pay check blaming the world without trying to improve their situation. Boomers having it easier and you being financially irresponsible are not mutually exclusive things. But i guess i also struggle to empathise with people who have never had to think hard about stretching a dollar.

It just kills me inside when i'm making myself homecooked meals for $1.50 - $4 while people are eating out for minimum $15 and they complain about being poor. Like i earned 40% less then what they earned and I was still doing well on savings. It just seems like every time the discussions of finance comes into orbit the information is either ignored or rejected out of insecurity to protect whatever miniscule amount of pride they have left.

Anyway, i'm pretty much done with people who blame their financial situation on whatever they want. Too much negativity and the friends i've made who are working towards financial security are more interesting and enjoyable to hang out with. Still a couple of people i am hoping will change but i'm over people who are unwilling to improve their situation. I don't want to be dragged down to thinking their level of mediocrity is acceptable.

No. 707546

My biggest cope in life? Having to come to terms with the fact that I can never be in control of every aspect of my life and sometimes things just happen to me instead of because of me. I miss someone a lot right now and I have to accept that I have no say in whether he comes back or not. I have to live my life in his absence and take things as they come instead.

No. 707551

File: 1609676409754.png (30.82 KB, 752x274, caloriecounter.png)

The difference between a 5'4 girl and a 5'9 girl of the same age when it comes to calorie intake is about 200 calories.

No. 707558

>"weight maintenance" at 2,000 calories
>for anyone who's not either a full-blown athlete or like 6'3
>"extreme weight loss" at 1200 calories
Fake and retarded lie to keep women fat lmao. Hate these Ameriburger charts.

No. 707563

i'm such a moron regarding my hair. my hair is about chin length or a bit longer. at the start of last year i decided i would go from jet black, permanently dyed hair, to ginger. it took 4 bleachings over several days, and then regular dying and lightening over the course of the year to try and get my hair all the same color. there's still about half of my hair left that's been fucked by the previous black and won't dye properly/looks very dull compared to the top half of my hair. i noticed this even more once i decided to dye my hair purpley-red before new years. now, after frying the fuck out of my hair for the past year trying to maintain a lighter color, i'm completely unhappy with both the color AND the length. i'm considering dyeing my hair black and getting keratin hair extensions down to my boobs. please someone tell me what to do i feel like pnp or some other bpd cow that can't make up their mind about their hair but i feel so unattractive like this and i know i would feel better if i went through with my plan but it would also kill me knowing after all that trouble i went through i'd just go back to dark hair AND it would be fried on top of it????

No. 707566

If you base metabolic rate is 2100 (which at 5'4 with moderate activity it likely is near that) and you're consuming a 900 cal deficit at 1200 that would be abt 2lbs weight loss/ week, what are you taking issue with?

No. 707569

I recommend reading this:
The 2,000 calorie thing isn't normal at all. "Moderate activity" only needs 2000 calories to maintain weight if by "moderate" you mean "very active", or if you're talking about a tall man. For other people, 1500-1800 calories is maintenance unless they're fat and trying to maintain it.

No. 707574

There's colour remover products specifically for red and black dye. It won't take you back to your natural colour but a much easier and less harsh process for your hair, then you can use a semi permanent dye over it to achieve a non patchy colour.

No. 707575

> "A normal weight 26-year-old woman who has a sedentary desk job but hits the gym three times a week for cardio or some yoga and is 5 feet 5 inches tall and 135 pounds probably maintains her healthy weight at about 1,800 calories per day."

If you adjust it to exclude the cardio her BMR would likely be 1600 w/o exercise (assuming she does an hr of cardio). At 5'5 and an unspecified normal weight she could burn 200-400 calories with an hr of moderate exercise a day which would make ~1800-2k her BMR. Even completely sedentary 1200 cal would be a deficit and result in weight loss. It's just math you don't have to moralize about it.

No. 707590

How is it moralising? Chill out. An “unspecified normal weight” is subjective and amorphous, making the argument kind of pointless here, and 1200 calories would result in slow to moderate weight loss for an average woman, or be complete maintenance if they’re completely sedentary (unless they are tall, like I said before).
I don’t know how my post about tall people being able to eat more caused this mess lol

No. 707592

I hate having to stick up for women composers when programming concerts, but not doing so makes me feel a bit of a gender traitor. Women didn't have the same learning opportunities until at least the 20th century, and including some juvenalia by Fanny Mendelssohn or Clara Schumann next to music by Schubert or Brahms really pisses me off: it never makes the women look good, and so little of it resonates with me. I do try to throw in the better pieces of 20th/21st century music I find by women, but it doesn't really work either, because it's comparing apples and oranges.
Then to top it all off, the creepy faux-feminist scrotes come crawling in and assert that the music of these women is better than the "canon." Bitch some piece about pretty flowers written by Clara aged 15 is hardly comparable to Strauss' four last songs.

No. 707597

>gender traitor
Individualism is the only “pill” (excuse my retardation) you need. I’ve learnt the hard way. If it’s talented who cares if it’s a tranny.

No. 707605

I wish I could stop thinking about all my garbage ex-friends. They were trashy possessive assholes with serious arrested development and untreated toxic mental illnesses like NPD and Borderline. I just wish I could not think about them ever again and move on with my life for real.

No. 707609

I don't even have a foreign accent yet other americans still pick on my american accent cause hurr it's from a different part of our country and like SO FUNNY!
It sucks but people are idiots. It's not a reflection on you.

No. 707645

File: 1609693299123.jpeg (47.75 KB, 400x252, D948A908-5B7D-435D-9347-3C16EE…)

I am becoming a hoarder. It started with being disorganized after a move in september and now I really do be living with huge piles of stuff in every corner of my house I wanna die and I can’t seem to figure out how to problem solve and clean it myself. Like I manage, I pick through the piles for what I need but it takes so much longer and I feel like I can’t have anyone over I know because I feel so ashamed so I just sit here in my piles of stuff. I’m in therapy twice a week and we’ve talked circles around this issue and tbh idk if it’s my therapist or me or both but I am not making any progress. Like I’m so close to hiring a professional organizer. But I also know that wouldn’t solve my disorganized habits. And I’m afraid it’s gotten filthy under the piles because I Only clean the center of the room, so that’s embarrassing and again I wanna die and feel trapped

No. 707737


The difference in BMR between a 5'4 woman of average weight and 5'9 woman of average weight is still going to be a few hundred calories, which you can burn off with a moderate amount of exercise every day or avoid by not having a second cookie. How much weight do you need to lose that 1200 calories isn't cutting it for you? Just go for a walk, anon.

No. 707747

I know social media is just for attention seekers but something about making a whole ass tiktok about what colour you dyed your hair just seems particularly narcissistic to me. literally no one cares, dye your hair whatever fucking colour you want, it’s just hair. if you really didn’t care about people’s opinions on it then why draw excessive attention to it? stop pretending you’re confident enough to not care what other people think and go to fucking therapy.

No. 707752

Only wanting abortion legal for instances of rape is the worst take on the issue and shows how little thought or logic people put into their opinions. It makes literally no sense. First of all, how does the context of conception impact how much value the life of the fetus has? Being the product of rape doesn't magically make the fetus any less of a baby. Second, there is no good way to enforce that.

Having this take is basically an admission that you only want abortion to be illegal to punish women for having sex by stripping them of their bodily autonomy. Logically, context of the pregnancy is totally irrelevant to whether or not women should have the right to end it.

No. 707753

I hate when people say it will get better. Just shut up then. The last thing I need to hear is to get over it. Bitch I need your emotional support. Why is that so hard? Honey your love is crying on the floor she feels a wreck. She needs a shoulder to cry on. She needs a hug. It hurts. Why don't you care? Why don't you ever care? I feel like a child again because whenever I would feel sad or hurt my parents never cared. They just ignored me and locked me inside a closet until I stopped crying. I just want to be loved. Please love me.

No. 707754

Calm down.

No. 707760

to me it seems like zoomers are having fun documenting mundane aspects of their lives because they either a) want to seem relevant or b) are just having fun. i don't think it's necessarily narcissistic, people have always done things like that (e.g. journalling, comissioning portraits) but now it's on the internet for the world to see forever

No. 707761

File: 1609704013495.jpg (33.83 KB, 291x327, 1349125462423.jpg)

My roommate's cat is cute as fuck but she keeps chasing me to grab my feet when I pass by like they're toys, sometimes with her claws.

No. 707765

Well…go ahead then. Say "thank you" to her for giving you the pleasure and honor of getting to play with her!

No. 707777

i tell my bf how i'm feeling in a shit mood and he just says he's like that everyday. is he trying to give me a complex about our relationship on top of everything too? why are men like this?

No. 707796

I fucking fell down the steps yesterday and I think I strained my neck or some shit fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Am i going to have to go to a chiropractor? I don't even know where to find one. What if they crack my neck and kill me

No. 707892

Certain cow threads are depressing, apparently if you have curly/not straight or brown hair you're an ugly bitch. Yeah, I know it's lolcow but I already felt bad before, not gonna lie.

No. 707895

anon i think curly hair is beautiful, it's voluminous and elegant. And brown hair is a nice, rich color. a lot of people on here are just insecure and nitpicky. I'm sure your hair is lovely

No. 707899

Don’t take it seriously. Anons will nitpick cows for the stupidest shit. Threads like the unconventional female attractions thread and random posts on /ot/ and /g/ give some balance and show that beauty really is subjective. Brown/curly hair is not objectively ugly.

No. 707901

You are gonna be fine, strained necks can take like a week to go back to normal, tho.

No. 707911

Most anons usually just say it doesn’t suit the cow not that whatever features they have are inherently ugly and that everyone should look like some celebrity.

No. 707913

it's probably him trying to make you feel less alone in feeling like shit, but being a man, he communicates it very unhelpfully.

No. 707931

File: 1609716086420.jpg (29.96 KB, 564x545, 39a984a0be9777d6f47434fcb167ba…)

So uhhh samefag anon from the vent where i said im insecure about venting because of mocking etc.

Im really trying i think im at my limit. My boyfriend is berating me today, because he wanted to look in my email for some reason and he found tons of spam from wish. That email is pretty old and my wish account was when i was a small kid.

I forgot the password to it so i get daily spammed from that site, and he saw that they spammed "recommended" me sex toys even tho im asexual and really repulsive towards sexual things, i dont even buy sex toys or want them. Hes now saying that i look at dirty stuff and doing this behind his back which i do not and i know im not.

Now hes telling me to explain to him why wish is sending me these spam mails and if i dont he will leave me and its making me confused and also panic alot. i even dropped my energy drink on accident over my whole keyboard and drawing tablet and it literally made me shed tears and make me go into a much much more terrible mood than i was before.

Was called pathetic too by him because i apparently just staged that and told me im over reacting and just acting when in reality when i have anxiety my emotions just tend to go very very wild. He knows that, he also has anxiety so i thought he would show some compassion.

I know hes loving,but something in him changed today im not sure what and its making me scared anons, i really dont wanna lose him, we are 3 years into this relationship, it is going great, we do have some bumpy roads sometimes but they get worked out fairly quickly. today just feels off.

Im also scared that i might hurt myself or others im really thinking about going to my mother and asking her to call the hospital. Im really just feeling like garabge right now.

No. 707940

File: 1609716813587.png (244.48 KB, 761x720, 1491260230436.png)

Urgh anon I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

Who the fuck cares about what emails you get from shitty online stores, it sounds like he wanted to start a fight over nothing to make you feel lesser than him. Someone "loving" doesn't do this. Miss me with that shit.

Ultimately you do what you want, but I strongly recommend dumping his weenie ass.

No. 707944


Yeah, im trying to explain to him why its recommended to me it even says "that could interest you" meaning they are recommending me weird shit that i dont even need or want like a youtube add or video recommendation.

The emails even say "2020" and he asks why they are from 2020 when i said to him that its because i cant access that account so i get spammed obviously, unless i delete my wish account so i wont get spammed.

It irritates me, and frankly it does give me a headache. I just feel so controlled and misunderstood by him and like he doesnt wanna hear me out, says im lying when i actually tell the truth and dont even change up what i say. Threatens to leave me if i dont tell him what he wants to hear, which mind you makes me scared because i got left and ghosted ALOT back then which fucks with my mind and makes me feel like shit.

i just feel so unappreciated by him right now and it hurts.

No. 707945

I absolutely hate how my retard roommate wears her shoes when she gets home all the way to the 3rd floor even though we have a carpeted house. You absolute dumb fuck. We leave our shoes at the front door, you think you're special? You're tracking muddy shoes all the way upstairs where we walk around barefoot. Absolute classless fiend.

No. 707946

Huh, why would he even overreact like this? I mean, you can still tell him to set up a fake email and wish account so he can see for himself how much he gets spammed with the most random items? I mean for fucks sake, wish is notorious for their crack pipe and fake silicone feet ads (just to name a few examples).
But yeah, him being such a massive pissbaby is just bizarre behavior.

No. 707948


oh god thats a good suggestion, i can tell him to make a new email and make a wish account so he can see what he gets recommended. Im honestly getting tired of this spiel hes pulling on me. I could understand if it stems from not trusting me due to past relationships he had that were unfaithful, but being this controlling is really not healthy.

No. 707951

Sorry if this is out of place but does he think you’re possibly lying about being asexual because of the sex toys and now has done some retard beta male insecure mental gymnastics that you don’t want to be sexual with him. Is he asexual or what?

No. 707958


i am asexual, i dont really want to be sexual with him, never will be since of some pretty disturbing stuff i witnessed as a child and had to go through so its completely out of my book. He told me he is asexual too but he does alot of sexual jokes or comments on my thighs or butt which sometimes i just brush off because im not interested in sexual things.

anyway, bigger problems came, hes doing drugs apparently, he said it isnt a "bad" drug hes taking but it apparently makes him more calm or something. I'll just take care of that for a while.

No. 707960

I am done of living in this shitty apartment. It is so bad and gross. Roaches, a lot of noise, a shitty bathroom that always clogs and now mold. My whole room is full of mold in the walls and its making me extremely sick. I have nowhere else to go. I feel so disgusting for having to live in a mold and roach infested place. No matter what I do this place is still shitty. I am praying for all the gods I know so I can leave this behind me

No. 707970

All summer i livee thinking i had hpv because multiple bloodwork came out pointingto that direction only to be false. It was a false positive due to some chronic inflammation or some shit and I keep forgetting I don’t in fact have fucking hpv. 2020 was such a shitshow for me.

No. 707974

File: 1609720805428.jpg (49.43 KB, 622x608, 1601977830267.jpg)

I have no link to "my" culture whatsoever. I genuinely feel like I'm completely alien from people in my country.
I look at their interests, local politics and celebrities, the fashion and aesthetics, and there is just NO APPEAL WHATSOEVER. Maybe my brain has been rotted from too much isolation (thanks mom & dad) and foreign media all my fucking life. I don't care about anything here, and trying to care feels like giving myself homework. I'm in my own little world. I don't even like going outside. The scenery would be beautiful if there wasn't so much trash littering the place. Fine, it's not a first world country, but why must there be plastic wrappers and other garbage everywhere, marring the beauty of nature? Why are you blasting loud fucking music and some shitty preacher when it's already too hot outside for such bullshit, or when it's a beautiful, peaceful afternoon that's better off quiet? Why are you selling raw dead animals on the street as meat, holding up their corpses? Don't you know that can spread disease? Why are so many things caked in dirt and mud and shit? Can't you keep anything clean? Why doesn't anyone care? Why are there open fucking sewers? Why are some people pissing and shitting in the streets like animals? You are not stupid, you are not subhuman, stop acting like you are.
People constantly think I'm a foreigner just by my appearance, and I've even talked like one ever since I was a child because I learned to speak from my stupid expat dad and foreign media. I was never taught what's meant to be my native tongue, and I genuinely don't have the motivation to learn now. I have been here for years, I have never integrated, and I probably never will.
What if the fucking transracial shit is true? I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. Maybe I should just illegally immigrate, change my appearance and make up a fake backstory for myself. Fucking identity crisis.

No. 707996

File: 1609727188481.jpg (95.86 KB, 1080x1128, EoISYW_W4AE3MVy.jpg)

i fucking miss dunking on holly brown. apart of me wishes she can her act together with youtube and shit because dunking on her nowadays feels so lame and depressing

No. 708001

"You're comparing your behind the scenes struggles to people's highlight reels that you see on social media"

No bitch, I'm comparing my nonexistent highlight reel to other people's existent highlight reels.

No. 708002

why'd you have to ruin my cope like that

No. 708005

So do something about it?

No. 708007

This year has been shit so far, mainly because my mom has been horrible to my family. She ruined New Years over some small stupid thing, and has taken to her bed for the last three days. She’s so manipulative, was completely in the wrong in this situation, and yet expects everyone to come crawling to her apologising. The atmosphere of the house is dictated by whatever fragile mood she’s in, and I’m so sick of it.
It’s so hurtful how she can’t realise how it’s always her that starts arguments and fights, and she point blank refuses to apologise first. Even when’s it’s got to the point where we’re fighting, I’m sobbing and hiccuping and shit, I’m ALWAYS the one who’s had to make the peace and say sorry first.
It feels like a curse, we had a lovely Christmas, therefore she’s stored up enough energy to become an insaniac at new year and spoil everything. There’s no winning.

No. 708008

get a load of this guy

No. 708015

This is the 2 time i had to argue with my bf about his view on woman,he tries to push this idea of me making tiktoks or stream because is "easy being a woman" he KNOWS i get superdefensive and what i think on that is it wrong?let me be dude i have enough problems in my mf head and yes im venting here because i dont have the courage to tell him to stfu.am i wrong for not wanting to put a price on my dignity? is not the first time a man talks to me this way i hate myself why i always have the wrong people on my side im not even pretty or super interesting person im just in my own bubble fighting the urge to not jump off a cliff.

No. 708021

Has anyone seen how moids whine over swiping apps and their matches? I just learned there is this thing called an elo score where you’re ranked on your swipes and likes. So basically they are just whining because they‘re only being shown women who are more or less in their league. What a bunch of losers

No. 708027

Isn't enforced looksmatched coupling their ideal society

No. 708029

File: 1609735141122.jpeg (38.06 KB, 452x678, images (15).jpeg)

I miss 90's couture. Couture these days is so boring, it's like the goal today is just to look expensive and the artistic part has been forgotten. Even Iris van Herpen is starting to get boring

No. 708032

>bf says he doesn't believe females a males can be friends
>a few months later says he has female friends that he just hasn't talked to in a while

What the fuck. How are you going to hound me for having a male friend when you literally just said you have female friends. Like are you implying that you were in love with them all at some point or that they were with you because that's literally the argument you used when you said males and females can't be friends. But oh apparently it's different because you or them can't develop feelings because you've never talked to them often enough?? I mean he did also say he hasn't talked to them in more than a year but I'm still pissed he's gonna say that males and females can't be friends and then go around and contradict himself because it now suddenly suits him.

No. 708038

Please tell me another anon can relate:

For almost your whole life, no matter who you're with or what you say, people always dislike what you have to say. You know if someone else said it, people wouldn't be so quick to disagree (and often times this has happened to where you said something and people disregarded it but then maybe a day or even an hour later, someone else suggests it and everybody agrees). Not only that but there's a mild hostility towards you for absolutely no real reason, besides maybe you are generally a quiet person.
You can feel a sort of disrespectful aura from other people, even if they're your "best friends".

This is all regardless of whether you are super nice and warm or quiet and contemplative.

No one regards you in any way at all, there can be times when everyone but you gets addressed (yes, even the other quiet people so you know they aren't just targeting quiet folks with unfair treatment.)

Overall, everyone seems to have a negative OR indifferent towards you besides a select few individuals.

Please tell me other anons experience this please.

No. 708039

File: 1609737235445.jpeg (18.71 KB, 180x211, FF23F6E2-5A93-42A1-AF3B-7E696F…)

This happens to my bff so much, I don’t even know why, she tells me I’m the only one who actually listens to her and I’m like why, how does that even happen but it’s the truth.
She could have a solution for an issue at work but no one will listen to her, she could also have something interesting to say about some topic and people will ignore her even though they want to hang out with her???? it’s fucking annoying and I’m not even the person going through that shit.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you, anon. I truly wish there was a way to change that, but I honestly think that people are just fucking disgusting, it’s like they target a nice and quiet person to use them as some sort of dummy to vent their frustrations on them or something? I don’t even know.

No. 708040

Yep, I have the same exact experience as you anon and it makes me feel a bit better that I'm not alone in it. I always thought I was because of my social anxiety. Then I see other people who are way more awkward than me or just as quiet as me being way more way liked than myself. Or like I say something and people look at me liked I said stupidest or most awkward thing though later on I hear someone say something similar or exactly the same and everyone reacts positively. It's so isolating.

No. 708041

if I didnt have an overbite i would be so hot. life is unfair

No. 708045


This is too accurate that I'm actually unsettled. I was having a mental breakdown and this just reaffirmed something buried deep in my self-perception that I never formulated into words or said out loud. Yes, it's like no matter what I do or say, because it's coming from me, it's devalued. I have always noticed this throughout my life. It's the same with jokes. I have said jokes that received no response, but when said by someone else the next day in the same fucking way, it's a hit. It's weird because I'm not ugly or rude or anything.

No. 708049


one time I was with a group of "friends" in the city and we were trying to get to the train station via a bus. I straight up said "hey, this isn't the right bus, it's going to take us to the other side of town". NO acknowledgment from any of them. It took us 30 minutes on the bus for them to finally go "omg this is the wrong bus" no one even admitted I was right. Instead they judged me for being mad, despite now having to ride another 30 minutes to the train station, as well as missing my scheduled train.

No. 708052

Wow, I didn't expect anyone to relate honestly. Well thank you for sharing with me, I can at least know now that I'm not some sort of alien.

No. 708072

I want to use Asherah's Garden but god it's such an ugly website, and hard to navigate. Plus that I just went there and some scrote posted bestiality porn.

No. 708085


It has a CSS option that mimics lolcow. I think it’s called laughing bovine ranch or something like that.

I tried to get into it once but I feel like it’s too obsessed with politics and social issues. I don’t care about that stuff, I wanna talk about the coziest blankets and complain about when farts get trapped in your vagina.

No. 708086

Yeah this really fucking hurts, sums up middle/high school for me and explains why I turned to internet communities in college instead of reaching out to others. After repeatedly being the butt of other people’s jokes for being awkward or quiet I just decided to opt out of real life friendship. It’s a snowball effect too, you’re constantly bullied or alienated by the people around you and it makes you feel unsafe or more awkward, and then others pick up on it and use it against you, furthering your feelings of alienation.

No. 708091

Kek I am pretty sure my dad's family has ghosted me. He died when I was little and it's only been in the past couple years I have found them and reconnected (my mom said she didn't know any contact info after we moved when my dad died.) I reached out and asked if maybe my uncle could help me with a mental health referral. I've never asked them for money or bombarded them with any of my trauma but none of them will reply to my messages now. It's been two weeks.

No. 708102

This happens to me and I know exactly why, 1) I have a resting bitch face and 2) I overcompensate for my resting bitch face by letting people walk all over me

No. 708103

I was posting something about ho w/w, lesbians arent a fetish and a friend (albeit not close) replied 'actually in literature circles you refer to it as f/f to be more inclusive' I'm so tired of this bullshit just let lesbians have their space without invalidating it

No. 708106

File: 1609751170068.jpeg (680.4 KB, 2213x2554, A3346986-8BE8-405F-915A-D13CC8…)

>be lonely
>add guy on /soc/ femdom thread
>get along great, have lots in common ect
>send my pic, he loves it i’m so qt etc
>he sends his pic
>pic related
when will i learn my lesson and stop being so desperate and pathetic online. oh well, such is the life of a mentalcel online.

No. 708107

Did he also claim he was attractive? I always feel like the guys on 4chan who are super confident about their looks end up being butt ugly. It's disappointing

No. 708108

yeah he was!! i thought he was going to be a tall dark and (relatively) handsome guy but girl… he is a BALDING GINGER

No. 708109

I'm so fuckin depressed. I wonder when this nightmare is gonna end. I need life to be back to normal ASAP. My plans for 2020 was doing an internship and graduate now I've lost the position. I'm trapped in a shitty job and I'm considering spending MORE money on a second degree to feel like I do something with my life, you know, and not waste ANOTHER year of my life. Fuck. This year I'm turning 30. I wanted to make the most of my late 20s but I'm just gonna waste 2 years of my life doing nothing living a dull life. I've lost my libido and sex is something that repulses me quite a lot so I'm not interested in dating or meeting new people. Fuck. I just wanna isolate and wait till this nightmare fuckin ends.

No. 708110

samefag i meant did not was sorry i’m retarded

No. 708111

File: 1609752580589.jpg (10.39 KB, 236x236, 7ca9b6b96c89bb682002b3e33cb472…)

My parents just got ready to go out, but haven't invited me along, only asked me when they were already in winter coats and I didn't want to make them wait. Now I'm beating myself over it and crying, because I did want to go out. Why am I so retarded? I'm always more worried about causing inconvenience than getting what I want or need.

No. 708145

File: 1609760894339.jpeg (85.64 KB, 424x403, D943FDD9-C208-485C-8991-51262C…)

That sucks so much! The worst part is that when you treat them the same, they think you’re the crazy one.
I actually got so mad one day that I started doing exactly what they were doing to my friend, I only said hi to her in front of them, I would ignore whatever they said and ask for my friend for more information on anything she was saying, I would also be like ah, okay so, what were you saying? and stuff.
But what happened?
some bitch had the audacity to ask
>anon, are you mad at me?
Like, what the fuck? I’m doing exactly what they have been doing to my friend and it’s like they didn’t even know?
If it wasn’t for my friend that asked for me to stop, I would have told her that I was being just like how they are around my bff, but I didn’t have the courage.

No. 708153

Some dude I was hooking up with just randomly messaged me a few days ago with a "nice knowing you bitch" after I lost my phone charger for a few days and thus, couldn't reply to any of his messages. Mf what did I do?

No. 708158

I'm getting older and it's starting to show. Society made me feel like women's worth is mostly measured by the way we look wich sucks because that means when you're old, you don't matter anymore.
Men have it so easy.

No. 708161

why would you hook up with someone who would say that to you?

No. 708162

Period pai is making me lose it, i wanna die

No. 708165

Awww poor anon, are you me?
Stop beating yourself up over this for starters. Sounds like you could use some more self-confidence and being angry at yourself isnt gonna help.
I'm sure your parents love you and they wouldnt ask you if they didnt want to wait. I find it hard too but when someone aks you "do you want this" you have to answer what YOU want an not what you think someone else wants. You dont know if your parents would mind waiting and you dont have to know. I'll tell you waht everyone tells me….stop trying to think what other people think!!! Oh and try to get more self-confidence (if you figure out how, tell me)

And dont be angry at yourself anymore, instead learn from this so that next time, you're doing what you want instead of trying not to be an inconvenience to anyone.

No. 708167

File: 1609766265093.jpg (70.1 KB, 800x600, whenwillibefree.jpg)


Anon, same. Let's you and me escape to another country. I've always felt like an alien in my own country. It's tiresome and lonely not being able to connect to your own culture. You try your very best to be with your own people but you just can't because deep inside your heart you know there's a better culture/country out there that fits with your mindset/behaviour more.

No. 708170

If you havent taken a million painkillers yet, you're doing something wrong

No. 708172

I took a few of my prescription ones but they are the RETARD lol kind so it takes about an hour for it to kick in and once it does i will be out of it, its slowly starting to work but i am a fucking mess, i cant fkn get up it hurts so i am in this weird sitting postion holy shit i hate this.

No. 708176

File: 1609767374468.jpeg (498.58 KB, 1200x1200, E5B918DC-B987-4378-BE16-284906…)

I just want a boyfriend who looks at me weird when I use internet lingo.

No. 708177

I feel you anon, I hope you can escape your shithole county when the occasion arises. Just don't give too much shit about "culture", it is bs, just do what makes you happy

No. 708181

Nothing to do about that but wait and suffer. Set your clock to when its the next time to take your pain killers so you'll be in time.
You can do this anon, the worst is over.

Might advice for some other pain killers in the future. I personally love nerufen fastcaps (based on ibuprofen) or perdolan femina (also ibuprofen baded, specially made for monthly cramps as the name suggests)
Ofcourse I have no idea what medicine is possible in your country but you can always ask your apothecary. (I once just straight up told her I have very very heavy cramps, please help me)

No. 708185

File: 1609768269327.png (447.46 KB, 839x542, 1608736228308.png)

I took it the second i woke up, managed to go to the bathroom and wash my face then the hellshow started. I have a bad tendency to bleed profusely with other medication than this but I appreciate the advice, some other anons may get something out of it! I am already feeling loopier and under a heated blanket, gonna roast the pain out of me

No. 708196

File: 1609770405594.png (1.4 MB, 1242x1119, c92a7eff84ffd9b01a4f609b3f142f…)

Awh that sucks. Any chance your doctor can give you some faster working pain killers?
I wish you good luck! Take good care of yourself and relax a bit. Tomorrow will be better.

No. 708198

I am this close to "misgendering" my troon friends and losing what few friends I have because I'm so tired of the obnoxious mtfs wanting to wear my skin

Extremely valid. You and me both.

I might be a lil late, but holy shit. I posted something like this a few times on some threads on /ot/ and I understand you, believe me. I have some friends who also just feel like an alien where we live, so you're definitely not alone. I can't say i'm not completely to blame for isolating myself from my country's culture, but damn it, i've always felt i'd truly be myself if i just moved to a different place (where people speak in the language im more comfortable speaking). We just need to wait it out until the borders open, and get to where we need to be, because im assuming you've already given up at re-integrating.
We'll make it someday, anon, just you wait.

No. 708199

I've been a month sober but I'm going to hit up the doctor today.
I'm fucking miserable. No motivation at all. All I do is waiting for the time to pass. Can't engage with anything, can't sleep, can't search for a job without having a panic attack.
Let's hope being back on the benzo train will start me up again.

No. 708206

One of my best friends moved to another city since her boyfriend was getting an apartment and had more job opportunities there. I wish her the best but I'm going to miss her a lot even though I'll still see her here now and then. She just encouraged me to see if anyone else could meet me and have a socially distanced chat but honestly at this point I fear having a breakdown if I had a real talk to someone face to face. With the lockdown and everything I fear I might lose my friends slowly but surely. It's probably mostly in my head but still.

No. 708216

My sister just had our first baby in the family! I'm an aunt to a beautiful little niece! I'm so sad that I wasn't there for her birth and won't be able to see her and the rest of my family until the 14th, though. I'm trying not to let that bum me out, but I can't help it every time I look at that beautiful, goofy-faced little baby that I'm not hugging this minute.

No. 708225

I want to end my life. I'm so fucking far behind. I have no hope. I have absolutely no hope

No. 708229

Wowowow anon lets not get carried away here. What happened? Dont kill yourself, there's always hope.

No. 708232

Thank you, anon, for the kind words! I know I shouldn't be angry at myself, but I can't help but find it stupid after the fact. I hope we can both do better in terms of self-confidence.

No. 708237

Same. And I'm also far behind. I'm 20 and have wasted so much time skipping school depressed at home not socialising. I have aspergers too

No. 708240

I've been taking ibuprofen for years and it doesn't do shit besides making my ears ring.

No. 708248

An internet friend I met and hung out with a few times is basically ignoring my requests to get shit back from them that I let borrow. I’ve driven 3 times to their place (they live like 2 hours away) and they refuse to even attempt to drive to me. I reached out to them last night saying that I want to drive to get my stuff back and after hours they text back something completely random. I’m so fucking pissed I just want my stuff back, once I get it back I’m blocking their number/socials fuck this noise

No. 708256

You're 20. As far as your peers go you're all still about the same until mid to late 20s. It isn't too late to get sorted out by any means.

No. 708261

Help me anons, I need advice.
I think my dog has a, well, foot fetish. He likes licking the feet of the friends that come over, which tbh makes me not want to have them over anymore because of the embarassment. What the fuck do I do? I skipped on having friends over for board game night because of this. I love my dog, but how do I even begin to explain this to people? They don't want to keep their outside shoes on.

No. 708266

Anon, I laughed, i am sorry that your dog is a perv, but I could not help myself.
Just tell people what to expect, it's a dog, behaviour like that is not going to make you seem weird, dogs are animals and do not behave like people. Make it into a joke, tell people you suspect Fido has a foot fetish, I promise you it is really funny.

No. 708270

Old fart here (34)
I spend my 20s being depressed because of undiagnosed autism. Now I'm making up for it by finishing my studies in combination with work and its going great. It's never too late, you guys are still very young.
It gets better as you age, trust me. Taking to a therapist might help too. Just don't give up.

No. 708271

Anon when you put it like this it does seem funny. Maybe I'll buy a sticker which says "Beware of the dog, it licks!" or something, lol.

No. 708272

Shit, I forgot to sage, smdh

No. 708280

My dog does this all the time, pretty sure it’s because she likes the salty taste of skin (and obviously feet can sweat). Don’t your friends wear socks?? Why are they bare foot in your place anyway lol

No. 708296

I have 0 sympathies for my roommate with ADHD. She does nothing to try and make her life easier. She is in her late 20's and has little to no life skills because she grew up insanely rich and coddled. She can barely keep up with a pt retail job because she stays up all night playing Pokemon and "forgets" to set an alarm to wake herself up so she's been fired from similar jobs. She genuinely forgets to pay rent almost every single month and almost always has to pay extra because of how late she submits it which stresses me out so much because I do not want to get evicted. I constantly have to badger her at the end of the month to pay it and even then she comes up with excuses for why her ADHD made her forget to do it. She is also insanely unhygienic and it's awful because I have to share a bathroom with her. She has on more than one occasion left a USED PAD just on the floor next to the trash. She has also once bled all over the bath mat and didn't bother cleaning it up and just left me to find it. I can't fucking wait for my lease to end. I feel bad because I just do not see how she will make it on her own but she needs a fucking wake-up call. I used to live with my junkie parents and I gotta say it was way easier living in a junkie nest with literal needles stuck in weird places than it is living like this.

No. 708301

but you already did?

No. 708320

I'm crying over my body after auto triggering myself for some reason (in a very roundabout way, because I don't feel like there's anything wrong with it but the internet thinks that's unfortunate or something), I have period pain and I'm behind in studying. I wish things were normal because I'd spent a lot less time on the internet.

No. 708333

Was supposed to do my A Level exams this year, everything is so fucked and I don’t know what’s going on, prob won’t get into uni at this point.

No. 708337

not that it's any consolation, but everything is going to be fucked for the next decade or so. If the vaccine timetable can be met - which I wouldn't usually be confident of because these targets never are met, but given how important it is - and those four groups are done by February, then covid deaths should drop off massively, since it's them doing all the dying.
It's been a shit year that has torpedoed my masters AND the industry I'm hoping for a career in, I just want it over too.

No. 708358

thanks so much, you’re all so kind. I’ve calmed down a lot now. I’ve recently gotten out of anorexia recovery and I’m so far behind in life. I’m 19, 20 later this year and am starting 6th form. It makes me feel like there’s something inherently wrong with me and I’m permanently fucked. As for the older anon, your words truly meant a lot. Thank you

No. 708359

You will most likely be assessed through teacher assessment/coursework or other means that your college/sixth form decides:
- Get your target grades in any coursework (make it stand out if you can, go the extra mile)
- Again, with homework, try your best
- Show your teachers your best effort in zoom lessons and communication with them. If you don't get the content, make such to ask for help (and prove your dedication through your progress)
- Attend all online lessons and complete all homework/assigments
- Make a realistic timetable for yourself (include breaks and I don't recommend studying late)

There will likely been no formal exams, but content you learn will be helpful in other assessment areas, as well as in Uni.

Lastly, and most importantly, take care of your mental health and try to have a positive outlook. You're doing a-levels in the worst time, you have a goal of going to university and I'm sure you are interested/passionate about a subject, that in itself is something to be proud of. Also, it helps to know lots of kids are in the same boat and no one will look at your co-hort negatively - the provision for learning has not been great. If you feel you haven't done so well so far, there is MONTHS to change that (and lockdown will end way before that so more in-person learning at school). It's awful not feeling in control of our future, but you can't control what happens with covid, but you can control what you do in this (abeit terrible) circumstance. Learn at your own pace, but again, do all homework/assignments and attend all online class.

Sorry for rambling, I believe in you anon!

No. 708367

File: 1609795127354.jpg (42.9 KB, 563x360, df22a1d54116590c06ba026d095619…)

I wish we were ruled by an AI already. Pretty sure she'll castrate 99% of scrotes.

No. 708368

I am so sorry this is happening. I'm probably a lot older than you but also living in corona central UK, and I can't imagine how this is fucking you younger people up. It has absolutely obliterated everything and it is so fucking dire. They will have to do everything to ensure people in your situation are given fair advantages when it comes to your education and jobs, because they sure as fuck can't go without a generation of young folk not filling employment/educational gaps. This country is a joke. Any other britfags want to rant? I'm sick of this place.

No. 708370

I didn’t want to say it, but… at least you’re not stuck in the US?

No. 708371

I feel like I’m not worthy of love or affection because I’m not pretty. I’m chubby, I’m boring looking without makeup. I could fix all that but I don’t see the point anymore. Why would a man want me if he sees photos of hot fit girls on Twitter and Instagram all day? Anytime I try to talk to or flirt with a guy at a certain point I’ll push him away because I’m convinced I’m hideous. My last boyfriend never even saw be naked, I refused to fully strip around him.

This line of thinking makes me suicidal sometimes. I know I need to lose weight but I hate looking at my body for too long. I wish I could become a hermit and never have to see my reflection again.

No. 708379

Garbage in, garbage out. AI would only make society more catered to moids.

No. 708381

Join the baggy clothes and forever mask gang. 90% of these thoughts went away for me when we had to start wearing masks. People treat me so much better when they can't see my face. Worth it.

No. 708382


the responsibilies are literally killing me. ive been having panic attacks, im depressed and i want it to fucking end. i got gradually promoted to head of marketing and since we are understaffed i need to execute a lot of digital myself. just returned from a two week vacation only to find out my budget doubled again, higher goals despite of having massive growth and a miscalculation that made me overspend 10k on a campaign

what the fuck do i do, i crave the neet lifestyle but its not a viable route. i have savings for years but feel too bad to actually just quit and be at home in the midst of a pandemic

No. 708383

… why?

No. 708384

Not saying you should go NEET but isn't 'in the midst of a pandemic' the only reasonable time to drop out and stay isolated at home? Either way I hope you find some relief.

No. 708385

Yeah, I get that, but that's like saying 'At least you're not stuck in North Korea'. It's all relative, isn't it? It's not a competition.

No. 708386

thanks for your wishes. i work from home, so cant use being safe as an excuse. im too much of a baby to tell my parents (who work harder) and friends that ive just had it and quit, without having another job lined up

No. 708403

File: 1609799641754.jpg (50.33 KB, 564x835, 262405ea7756653f5c0a022547ff51…)

after being a full time student, i decided to go on a semester break since transferring was weird and because i think i needed it. i decided to apply for some shop opening nearby and i think im excited. i would like to start 2021 doing something instead of sitting around playing games. i'm just worried about working with creeps again. my last job had so many disgusting scrotes and i got sexual harassed by one in specific. i ended up leaving that job and moving to a different city because of it. after that, i just dedicated my time to school fully. hoping for better changes in 2021.

No. 708421

Same and I'm mad

No. 708434

why not just try to improve yourself? being chubby is something you can control (especially if you can get any underlying health problems resolved), and there are lots of women who have odd faces that are considered attractive due to their physique, sense of style and personality

No. 708435

i hate myself too much and have shit genetics so even working out wouldnt help that much. if i was ever posted to lolcow id be dubbed the ultimate fridge waist. i look really masculine without a lot of makeup on and clothes to hide my figure.

i wish i had an odd face. i think having an interesting face would be better than to be plain.

No. 708437

File: 1609804309026.jpg (30.43 KB, 816x422, vutc3c32f3p51.jpg)

People always sperg about returning your cart to the cart corral after you finish shopping like it's the greatest evil to leave your cart sitting around, yes you should return it obviously, but I grab carts all the time at work and one billion percent more annoying than people leaving their carts wherever they want is people who fucking saunter around the parking lot and cross the street without looking, and then get mad at ME when they nearly stumble into my row of carts that I'm pushing inside. Especially when they say "um you could have stopped" like no bitch actually I couldn't have?? Like jesus christ have some common sense, you can stop walking and move out of the way faster than I can stop this row of seven carts, there's only so much I can do when you aren't paying attention to where you're walking! The worst are people who literally cross the crosswalk without looking up from their phone AT ALL and nearly stumble into me and then act all huffy about it. Smh I love volunteering to bring in carts when the cart dude isn't in yet because it's nice and vigorous and I get some fresh air but I swear people do this shit on purpose to be cute or something.

No. 708447

The moment I get home after going somewhere else for a few days after having a fight with my psycho sister where she started punching and hitting me and then I retaliated, then proceeded to punch me out when I escaped somewhere else two hours later and tried to come back and resolve it, she starts bitching at me again about how I'm a horrible person and how she doesn't want to be around me and that she feels so ~victimized~ that I slapped her in retaliation for her hitting me the first time. Frame yourself as the victim all you want, you power tripping narcissistic psychopath, it isn't going to make you capable of empathy. If you're just going to get into another fight that results in more physical injury, nobody cares anyway. But since she's the "preferred" child and the one who's never gotten proper psych help or meds, as well as younger than me my parents treat this cunt like a saint. One day karma will come for her ass, I know it. There's no repairing this relationship at this rate, she has said and done too much. My father really is insistent "you can forgive her verbally berating you, putting down your degree and profession, comparing you to a serial killer, and calling you a basement dwelling loser!". No faggot, I can't. And moreover my faggot parents not being the ones who'll let me move out when they let this terror move out at 19 is beyond me, but I guess she's good at keeping her abusive rage capped for all but one person. And that person happens to be me. I spent five years of my life living with a different parent and I don't care once I move out if I don't see her for many more beyond five years. She's said and done too much shit for it to be forgivable. I regret not trying to help and be a better sibling earlier on but I'm not gonna be friendly to whatever psychopath in my sisters skin she's becoming because this thing isn't even the sister from my childhood I remember (didn't even like her that much, but she didn't try and give me literal ass whoopings). Fuck my family, they're all awful people and I'm leaving them behind within the next couple years for facilitating this and my mom and dad for additionally abusing me. Anything has to be better than this. But for now I don't feel safe in my own house for another few days before this bitch goes back to uni where she can gladly live away with no parents while I'm stuck here

No. 708482

All my friends are in college and doing extracurricular activities and getting involved with shit they like and I'm in a new city hours and hours away being a NEET with literally no irl friends and nothing going for me. I feel like I'm going to throw up when I hear about the stuff they're accomplishing and the newfriends they're making. I'm so fucking lonely

No. 708483

My brother plays dumb to bait me into getting angry at him and I fall for it all the time because he's a fucking stinky little dweeb and I love yelling at him to let off steam. And my mom always has to protect her stinky little scrote who is IN HIS 30s by the way

No. 708490

I found two lumps in my chest :(

No. 708491

>if i was ever posted to lolcow id be dubbed the ultimate fridge waist
I promise you that spending less time on lolcow, or even leaving lolcow entirely, will do wonders for your body image. There are "issues" with my body that I didn't even realize I had until I started regularly lurking these boards.

No. 708493

>has little to no life skills because she grew up insanely rich and coddled
This is her problem, not the ADHD. You don't see the average person who has to work to make ends meet blaming their mental illness for why they can't perform basic functions. If you're forced to do something to survive, you will, even if it's harder for you than others. Hopefully reality slaps this person hard in the face some day, because it sounds like that's the only thing that will make them change.

No. 708494

It doesn't have to be anything serious, don't worry too much in advance anon. Still, do a checkup ASAP for the peace of mind.

No. 708498

FULLY hate myself for being this bitch but the dude I like lives literally 3000 miles away and has for 2 years, uncertain whether he'll move back in a few months when this gig is done or he'll be in another faraway state, and despite having a ~thing~ with him before the move and being 90% sure he's into me I hesitate to message him bc I don't want to be fucking obnoxious. the last time we talked at length he invited himself on an international trip with me (didn't happen bc covid) and called me hot out of nowhere and YET i'm still like wHat iF hE DoesB'T liKe mE bAcK

i'm fully in the best shape of my life rn bc channeling pandemic rage into working out and I have KILLED every other aspect of my life in the past six months but instead of messaging him like an adult I am being a little bitch waiting for him to forget I exist!!! why do I even care!! why am I a child!!! end my stupidity

No. 708503

is it so bad that I want a nice little apartment with a pet or two with a husband with no kids in sight?

according to my bf, it is. I don’t like kids and I shouldn’t have to give a reason why.

“im allergic” fucking leave for all I care, you weak immune system having ass fucker. find someone else who’s willing to pop out little goblins for you cause I’m not having it, I don’t wanna deal with any of that

No. 708508

Im watching "abducted in plain sight" it's about an guy abducting a little girl of a family he's friends with. This shit is making me so fucking mad.
Firstly, the PARENTS allowed this man who just said he was molested by his aunt at 4 to sleep in their underaged daughter's bed and listen to these weird tape for "treatment" because his therapists recommended it, then both the MOM and DAD admit that they'd were both had sexual contact with the man.

The mom said that he'd given her compliments and ended up kissing him and the dad said that he'd told him he needed "relief" and the dad jerked him off in a car. Both tried to make themselves look like these huge victims of this man in these sexual accounters.
Then he takes their daughter horseback riding, he's gone for DAYS before they call the police. Then they get a call from him eventually saying he's in mexico and he wants to marry their 12 year old daughter, thats the only way he's coming back.

His brother was the one who got the molester caught. The guy had raped and grooomed the daughter into thinking she was an alien and they had a "mission" and if they didn't solve it bad things would happen to her & her family.
She gets saved, but lies for the guy, the doctors say her hymen wasn't broken (she said she was raped in present day) and then she goes back to school.

They tell the parents to have NO contact with the Molesters wife or kids, but what do they do? The
molesters wife comes in on Christmas like, "If you don't get my husband out of jail, then I'm going to tell everyone you fucked my husband"basically.

So the parents decide to get the molester out of jail to protect their "secret", so tell me why the molester calls, the mom speaks with him, he tells her he'd tell her what happened, and she meets with him and THEY HAVE SEX.
She fucks a man who kidnapped her daughter, whose a pedophile who told her he wants to marry her daughter.
I'm not done with the documentary but i'm so fucking disgusted. Her parents have to be the dumbest people alive.

No. 708510

File: 1609816821512.jpg (54.27 KB, 611x406, pet-expert-Steve-Dale.jpg)

Anons…thank you. I didn't think anyone else would relate to my dumb vent. Feels good to know I'm not alone with this. I hope for the best for all of us

No. 708511

and then the molester TELLS the dad after they fucked and she said she was in a sexual relationship with the molester for 8 months, reminder this dude JUST kidnapped her daughter and said he wanted to mary her and the mom goes on to fuck him.
And she says she was in love with the kidnapper/rapist/pedo, you cannot make this shit up. They failed their daughter on all levels.

No. 708512

same me too. It's nice

No. 708513

I've seen that documentary. It's one of the most fucked up things I've ever watched.
I honestly think the father purposely handed off his daughter and wife to the man. It was all some fucked up fetish "play" they were doing that resulted in trauma for the child, and they're passing it off as "Oh we were all victims of this great manipulator". No.
Just the way the mother even describes him and moments with him fondly, and slightly sounds jealous of her daughter is horrifying.

No. 708514

I want to fucking die. I was most likely sexually assaulted in a situation where I could barely even walk or talk. If my friends and family knew about it they either wouldn't believe me or would think I'm a hoe. But I don't even remember consenting. I don't remember much at all. I just know if I had been sober I never would've done it. I'm fucking terrified of getting stds or, god forbid, pregnancy.
I'm so goddamn ashamed for letting it happen and some of that hazy shit is playing in my head like some vietnam flashback and I can't make it stop. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind soon.

No. 708515

i don't think it's bad but if you and your bf don't have compatible futures it's not really a reason to be a bitch about it (either of you)

No. 708516

and then they STILL LET HIM SEE HER, they are fucking retarded the mom's like, "he says she's going to hitch hike, if I don't let her go what do I do?" and she lets him SEE HER.
I'm starting to believe they were getting money or something from it, you cannot be this fucking retarded.
I'm not done but i'm so fucking upset, I've never seen this shit before, then they have the nerve to sit on camera and speak on it like it was nothing.

No. 708518

They act so fucking helpless, even the dad was like "You'll regret sending her" as if he has ZERO control, then the recording and pictures i feel so bad for her.
All the adults were shitty and even the brother was like, "they were happy" and kind of brushed off the fact he was fucking a little girl.

No. 708520

whether or not you can remember saying no you were clearly too drunk to consent. it is NOT YOUR FAULT. it doesn't matter that you were drinking, you did NOT deserve it or ask for it.

please please go to a clinic and at least get checked up physically for your peace of mind. and they can connect you with someone to talk to even if you don't want to right now. it's okay not to tell your friends if you feel that they'll just make it worse by not supporting you. you need to do the things that will make you BE safe and FEEL safe, and genuinely anyone who blames you can rot in hell.

i'm sorry this happened. you will get through this.

No. 708522

one of my best friends was murdered about 2 months ago. it's really fucked up and i think about her constantly.
yesterday i found out one of my best friends since i was about 5 years old passed away, and the circumstances regarding his death are very suspicious too. i tried to call the police to tell them my suspicions, and the woman on the phone told me i needed an address of where he was found so that she could get me in contact with the dispatcher who went to his house when he was found dead??????
like what? i'm telling you that i think my friend may have been murdered and you essentially hang up on me because i don't know the fucking address lol. i feel so fucking sick. i don't know what to do.

No. 708524

uh anon, not to be mean but she's just doing her job. you needing to provide info so she can contact people (to essentially take your murder theories) isn't asking too much at all.

No. 708527

i just mean, i know the names, i know who called his death in. it literally happened yesterday. the person in question called the police to come to the house. i just don't know how they don't have records from calls regarding a death that happened 24 hrs ago. just feels bad. every time i've spoken to police they are so insanely dismissive

No. 708530

Nta but yea they do have the recs and they need the adress for that. I am so sorry for your losses, hope you can get some peace of mind as soon as possible and the culprit gets caught and punished.

No. 708532

the "muh genetics" argument doesn't work until you try. there are lots of women (mila kunis, emma watson, etc) with a straight waist or boyish figure who are considered very feminine and attractive. also regardless of your bone structure everyone looks best at a healthy weight and with some muscle definition. you'll find your mood will improve, as will your skin and hair

No. 708533

oops meant to reply to

No. 708534

thank you anon ♥ i'm going to try and figure out the address myself, hopefully something turns up

No. 708542

File: 1609821460797.jpg (25.71 KB, 616x612, 76fced6f359508e4d5c53b303c716c…)

(my english is shit, sorry) I fucking hate you asshole, i feel sick everytime i have to call you "grandpa", you're a fucking monster, you're trash and i hope you rot in hell forever, stop calling me "honey" and "sweetie" like you didn't beat and abuse my grandma in front on me for years, and now like it wasn't enough that other absolute bitch i've to call "mom" brought you to our house IN FUCKING NEW YEAR EVE and now you're fighting with everyone and pissing on MY bathroom every night and our house smells like shit, if i could kick you out i absolutely would i don't have empathy for literal criminals, stop bringing pain to my family and chaos to our lives. I'm sorry grandma, every time i think on what they did to you i feel the deepest pain and regret, i couldn't do nothing, i was just 12yo…i couldn't even fight them, i want you to know that i will never forgive him and i actively want him to die, i'm on your side and i'll defend your honor from anyone who dares shit talk about you, you didn't deserve nothing that happened to you, you were an angel. Rest in peace, now you're free.

No. 708550

also i genuinely thank you anons, my life and family are so deeply and unbeliavable fucked up i was convinced i was alone with this pain, but you guys share the same or worse situations, i don't need no one's sympathy as i don't really feel anymore to begin with, but it's nice to know the universe isn't trying to personally fuck me. I wish you guys a nice year.

No. 708551

i made some off handed joke to my bf about how i should always just have my face hidden (which wasn't really a joke and i have cripplingly low self esteem especially regarding my face - he doesn't know this) and i suppose he jokingly agreed and i agreed back. which is fine. he then said "you know saying stuff like that isn't attractive" and i said good thing i don't say stuff with regard of whether it's attractive or not. then my mood took a massive blow, it did a complete 180 and can't help but think when attractive people say stupid shit like what i said people are so quick to coddle them and tell them how beautiful they are but when ugly people say it, others just get annoyed, don't want to hear it and basically just respond the way he did. i feel so vile, i think my own bf doesn't think i'm attractive at this point. i felt so shit after that. he tried asking me what was wrong but i couldn't tell him and started word vomiting about how i just can't/don't reveal my biggest insecurities as a form of self protection (which is true). i just hate this so much

No. 708553

he sounds like an asshole anon. if your bf can't do the bare minimum of telling you you shouldn't hide your face he's probably a scumbag. the rest of your description sells it.

No. 708558

I hate this i hate this i hate this. Every single fucking time a online celebrity is accused of being a pedo/grooming i dont know why i do it but i fucking start archiving every link i can get, screenshooting, compiling statements and shit. I hate doing it it makes my heart hurt and i feel like i have no control, i hate pedos and i hate groomers. I know it has something to do with my own trauma and PTSD about being groomed and i hate how looking at the screenshots of the conversations some of the shit just reminds me of the shit i went through and i hate it. I hate that i need to do this to feel somewhat mentally okay and forget what happened to me. God i hate men. I. Know this makes NO SENSE at all, doing this is helping me calm down a bit.

No. 708561

Discovered after 3 years living together that my partner faps to skinny, petite, barely legal looking JAV actresses and all the self-steem Istruggled to build up in the past 6 years just plummeted.

No. 708567

That's on him, anon, not you. I'm sure you are beautiful and there's nothing wrong with you. Don't pity yourself, seriously. Develop the mindset that you don't really actually need his attraction to you in order for your own self-confidence to remain standing.

No. 708573

i dont want to hang out with these stupid people my gf invited over anymore, i didnt want to hang out with them 8 hours ago when they got here either, im so miserable and horny i just want to fuck! she literally made our friend who i actually like LEAVE and i was so sad and then these idiots came over and im so bored and so horny

No. 708574

Thank you for your kind words, anon, really. I will get better eventually, but the shock was too much to handle.

No. 708575

have you told her how you feel anon smh

No. 708576

Sorry. I’m not sure why I’m even pitching a bitch about it but he just keeps going on and on about wanting kids and I just want no part of it whatsoever and he knows this too and I think I’ve reached my limit with the whole thing, maybe with him too

I just want a quiet life with a pet cat and my future husband but he’s one of those people who thinks having kids will solve everything. No thank you

No. 708582

i know im gonna sound like a fuckin idiot for being in this situation but my relationship is poly and i fucking hate it but idk how to get out of it without just leaving my husband which would be devastating emotionally and financially since i moved to another fucking country for him

hate this hate this hate this, feel like im in the backseat of my own fucking relationship and im not even sure if im bi anymore or just a lesbian god why is everything so much all the time

no friends here, no family here, no job, already almost 10 years deep w this relationship just wanna get drunk n fly home to my mom

No. 708586

My dog (really my mom's dog but I'm home 100% of the time so he gets a lot of his attention from me) has his first vet appointment tomorrow, he's over a year old. But he's been shaking his head often enough that I'm beginning to think he has something going on and I don't want to risk making it worse with over the counter shit. I don't know if he ever got his shots as a puppy either because my mom's coworker gave him to us after his dog had a litter. I'm worried they're going to get really angry with us (or rather me since I'm going to be the one taking him as my mom doesn't want to deal with it.) I have generalised anxiety disorder so this has been a fun night of worrying. Also worried about the cost of it all but we have some money saved up.

No. 708588

I’m so sorry, anon. Honestly, most people aren’t able to successfully navigate “poly” relationships because it’s not normal to share your partner and be comfortable seeing them with other people. Did he start the relationship on poly terms or open it, after, on some level, trapping you in another country? Relationships where you feel trapped and unhappy will wear you down, it’s not worth staying. Have you spoken to him about how you feel?

No. 708591

I wish people had enough self-respect to not try to up their value by implying or right-out saying that men want to fuck them. Seriously, anyone in a larger city could have a hookup organised in 30 min stat, men wanting to fuck you is nothing to boast about.
On a similar note, the fetishization of east Asian dick among weaboos/koreaboos is ridiculous. They're not special. They're not going to treat you better. In the end they're still just men, and most likely ones brought up in deeply patriarchal socities. Oppa is just as much a misogynist as anyone else.

No. 708592

it was frankly my idea first since we were a LDR for so long and we've been together since we were teenagers without like any physical contact for years at a time but when i MOVED here i told him i wanted to be monogamous (we never even acted poly anyway, at most i flirted with guys i knew and that was it and he didn't do anything with anyone else while we were apart as far as i know) and he agreed to that

until he fell for a troon we both know l m a o

i know part of it is my fault for getting the idea out there to begin with and i haven't brought it up since, since we were talking about being a group for a while but now its like i'm the only one who's not okay with it and its just a lot, sorry for the sperg lmfao

but i should bring it up again since its been such a long relationship and mostly quite good, i don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water, you know? its just frustrating because i know both of them are gonna act like me changing my mind before we get too far into this is ruining their lives but like, i didn't really agree to this!! i'm your wife, like pay attention to me!!

No. 708593

File: 1609834653070.jpg (44.87 KB, 400x560, 09ff8c5b2fc9e0ebfaf674840f26a2…)

would u forgive ur mom for allowing bad things to happen to u as a kid even though u had told her about it but all she did was make jokes about u and him being married and him being your husband etc she apologized to me sometime ago and she was crying and looked really sad and i forgave her fwiw and i feel like i shouldnt so easily but it didnt really felt worth it to feel hate for her and to keep negative feelings in my heart for her

No. 708596

My condolences, man. That’s a seriously shitty situation but the fact he’s going to act like your discomfort with him seeing. a tranny is “ruining” his life- that’s a serious red flag! You’re his wife! You should be at the top of his priority list. Did he fall for the troon while you agreed to be monogamous? That’s at least emotionally cheating in some way. Do you think his need for other partners will subside? Personally, I think you need to close the relationship if you don’t like him seeing anyone else, or just try to accept it and maybe see other people to dull the pain? I’m sorry for the shit response, I am an extremely jealous person and poly shit would kill me so I completely empathise with you.

No. 708606

it was after, so it was technically emotionally cheating but at this point I'm so annoyed with the other shit that even that doesn't really bug me much, I just want it to go back to how it was when it was just us

thanks for hearing me out anon, I'm nervous to even bring it up w my close friends because I hate looking like a dumbass who let this happen so I've just been bottling it up

No. 708607

I mean, no I probably wouldn't especially if it caused me long lasting trauma. Sorry you went through something shitty that was preventable. If you don't feel like you want to forgive her just yet or ever then that's perfectly okay.

No. 708617

>kpop pic
>types like a 12 year old
I mean it’s a vent thread but still.
Yeah you should forgive everyone because it’s an 18+ thing to do. Sorry that she made fun of you but still.

No. 708622

Could you say that you’re not okay with it because of the emotional cheating? I mean if you were in a monogamous relationship at that point and not poly he really can’t pull that card on you. That sort of mentality is the reason why men got away with raping their wives for so long - consenting to something once does not mean you have to consent forever.

To be honest I would be so turned off by all of this I’d leave. Sounds like he might be gaslighting and/or guilt tripping you, which is gross. Tell him you’ve changed your mind and if he doesn’t choose you, his wife, then leave because he doesn’t deserve you. Poly relationships only work if everyone involved is consenting and happy. You’re not, and it’s not your job to put up and shut up for a man and some troon.

Also the fact you’re questioning if you’re a lesbian should make you consider leaving too. If you’re a lesbian, you’re not attracted to men, so you shouldn’t be with a man.

No. 708623

I swear this was written by a 14-year old.

No. 708624

Tbh not all 14 year olds are like that, there’s some really cool mature ones. She will make a fine lolcow poster in the vent thread department when she grows up.

No. 708632

I have bruxism, IBS and nightmares every other night. Every little thing stresses me out and makes my brain go into overdrive. Even doing laundry. I'm fucked up for life and the two generations of cunts that are primarily to blame will never understand why. I just want to be around good people. That's all I want.

No. 708633

You sound like you’re a stay at home mom.

No. 708640

>14 years old
>cool and mature

No. 708654

>get drunk and fly home to your mom

Yep anon that's the thing to do. This sounds doomed based on the information you've written itt, it sounds like you floated an idea and he ran with it.

No. 708659

I'm 19…

No. 708671

I fucking h a t e people who compare male and female circumcision. You can't compare it.

No. 708674

I'm a mess lol

No. 708680

The quote “Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.” from Andrea Dworkin is 100% true. Back when I was still a young handmaiden this was exactly the reason why I had such a hard time accepting the accusations feminism geared towards men, as it would inherently mean that I had to accept the fact that women are in fact oppressed and that we should demand better. It's a scary thought to wake up and see the sexism all around us, live being aware of it and trying to fix it while you could just stay bluepilled and nonchalantly claim that you don't need feminism because you get to vote and you don't want to associate with that blue haired they/them enbian clown you saw interviewed about the principles.

No. 708685

File: 1609856550874.gif (619 KB, 540x305, 3c094731-bcd9-48d6-8a23-f6a11c…)

>am poorfag
>found out family owns land by the sea side
>think about selling it so I might have a better life
>find out the shit is in the middle of nowhere and no on really wants it

Please kill me…

No. 708686

Same, even as someone strongly opposed to male circumcision (on minors). FGM is a totally different ballgame.

No. 708687

I'm so cold, my body aches, my nose is running, I feel so sick like I'm gonna die. Fuck

No. 708691

Look at the silver lining, anon, you could plant a bunch of trees and build a really pretty cottage to start a new life.

No. 708697

I don't want to settle down! I want to have fun until I die.

No. 708745

Feeling nauseous and sad. Ended up taking benzos and sleeping in the middle of the day.
I'll never manage to climb out of neetness again. After corona and losing my job, my anxiety came back in full swing. I can't answer phones now and stay inside even when things need to be done.
I'm passed 30 and feel like I'm good at nothing. All of my friends have things going for them and it hurts.
I wish I had some people in the same situation I could talk to and encourage.

No. 708758

It honestly makes me lose any ability to take the person seriously on any subject. It just exposes the person as too much of an idiot.

No. 708774

My best friend has been pretty much ignoring me for the past couple days and I don't know why. We usually see eachother every two weeks or so but it's been almost a month and I'm just really scared that I've done something wrong or that she doesn't like me anymore or something.

No. 708783

I was a neet for a long time, friend. In 2018 I was certain there was no more hope for me.
It's quite what happened last year, a LOT of people lost their jobs. I think your reaction is only normal. You gonna get through this, but you must seek some help

No. 708785

Yeah, because male circumcision is normalized.

No. 708786

Fuck yeah anon! Have as much fun as you like for how long as you like.

No. 708789

My dumbass friend is one of those lefty type twitter guys who thinks "socialist" onlyfans girls and people like Shoe and Ash Coffin are the beacon of modern feminism. Meanwhile, calls me a tankie and any time I try to speak up about how onlyfans and "sex work" are contributing to a harmful system even if there's a hammer and sickle on their tits, he accuses me of internalized misogyny (who taught them this term??) and being ~jealouszuszzz~ because they're sexy and I'm a forum-dwelling femcel. I'm tired of this shit

No. 708790

Honestly, she might just be tired/fatigued/worn out from the pandemic. I've been seeing and speaking to my best friend and even my bf less because of it, but that doesn't mean I love them less. I miss them terribly, but I don't have the energy to talk to or see them. Depression is a bitch. It hurts and it's unfair, but it's probably not you.

No. 708791

The audacity of men to tell women what is or isn't empowering for women and the fact that he doesn't see that his support for them is entirely based on titties kek. Tell him he's an objectifying male.

No. 708806

Those type of guys think they're doing charity by subscribing for titty and bumholes, even though actual charity would be just sending the women money without requiring a degrading exchange to happen first

No. 708854

I had a nightmare the other night that my extremely online TWAW little sister accused me of being a terf and wouldn't listen when I tried to say I wasn't and had no idea what she was talking about.

I know GC sperging is bannable but I have no idea where to go or feel the way I feel. I can never be open about being a radfem and if I did I would lose everyone in my life. Even my formerly transphobique bf who shared my opinions found out AGPs claim to have dysphoria so he supports them now.

I feel so completely and totally alone and shameful.

No. 708859

You're safe here, queen.

No. 708870

Someone came into my job wearing a trump 2020 hat and no mask and tried to tell me he had a heart condition. I got a manager right away so of course that happened. I have an hour left of work. Im so fucking tired of this and want to make my 2021 goal to find a better job where I don't have to work food service anymore. Im just exhausted.. why are people still like this 1 year into the pandemic??

No. 708876

Why keep a friend who belittles you so badly? You deserve better than the company of a pornsick coomer.

No. 708884

Why do you even engage the discussion with a hopeless freak? You two both are boring mortals and won’t change a thing. Either unfriend him and keep yourself to your own circles or shaddup and be a subhuman like him.
She’s debating politics and serious problems with some 4chan loser so do the maths

No. 708887

the more i live the more i feel it isn't worth it. there's no point. i'm a lost cause. i've been given too many second chances and i failed them all.

No. 708889

As long as you're alive there's at least a chance things will improve. It helps a lot if you're actively trying though.

No. 708890

Hmm, we've just been friends for so many years and I suppose I thought he'd be different since his sexuality leans more towards gay. But it turns out even men who don't want to fuck women have the same opinions about them, I guess
>Either unfriend him and keep yourself to your own circles or shaddup and be a subhuman like him

No. 708905

I wanted to buy a new car by the end of 2020 but I can’t stand going to the dealerships

No. 708906

no offense but i hope your friend and any other dude who acts like this is forced to walk barefoot along a 10 mile long road made of legos

No. 708910

Bi men are the worst. They diddle little boys and sexualize women the way usually men do. Full blown gays aren’t nice to women they find them repulsive and sometimes they worship them as caricature idols. Gays are sexual and all have aids, remember?

No. 708921

File: 1609878468182.png (316.26 KB, 468x468, CE849EC2-8282-4D41-89DB-6AAADA…)

I’ve been on hold for 30 minutes

No. 708927

I just leased my car using this tactic:

Submit interest leads through the dealerships website using my email. The dealerships email back pretty much immediately. I then asked them to run numbers on the precise model I wanted (supplying my income and credit score). They sent me their offers and I compared them. Then I used two competing offers to get an even better deal.

I made sure to get the rep to agree to the terms in writing. Got my insurance, showed up to the dealership to sign papers, and drove away in 45 mins.

No. 708933

File: 1609879125601.jpg (64.81 KB, 496x475, ywQM1DV.jpg)

tell him that engels was a terf

No. 708950

I’ll have to try doing that, I’m pretty much at the point where I’d rather point and buy something instead of spending hours with a dealer comparing cars

No. 708953

File: 1609880751513.jpg (16.07 KB, 220x270, 220px-Engels_1856.jpg)

Based terf daddy

No. 708960

Buying new cars is financially not worth it and a huge luxury, you sure you wanna lose half the worth of your car in the first few years?

No. 708961

File: 1609881466165.jpg (43.39 KB, 720x705, 30f2862c7eb2584c28bb74098ba1a9…)

This isn't really a vent, but I'm not sure where else to write this. I think I just realized that I've had a really bad habit of overcommitting to certain friendships and then becoming exhausted once I have to deal with all of the emotional labor. The reason it took me this long to understand is because the exhaustion comes in years later once the initial feeling wears off of me being excited that someone is so close to me and understands me so well. I guess in my childhood/as a teenager I was always so lonely and wished for one of those inseparable friendships where we understood everything about each other- and I was a weird kid so obviously it was hard for me to find people who liked me as I was. Now that I've had a few friendships where people have shared everything with me, I realize I can't handle the constant negativity that comes with it. I'm pretty sure it's just a boundary issue, but I also can't help but feel guilty because maybe I'm just selfish and not a very emotionally tolerant person.

In the past I think I was so afraid of being alone that I really wanted to have one or two people who I knew would always be there for me no matter what, but now that I'm completely content with being alone my tolerance for that level of emotional closeness is really low. I can't help but question whether I'm actually able to form a close relationship with someone that doesn't end up burning me out. I guess I still want to have close friendships, but how do I do it while still having healthy boundaries so I don't end up repeating the same mistake? Is this just me being selfish and unrealistic because I want the security of emotional closeness in a relationship/friendship without the emotional labor?

No. 708967

Do you by any chance suffer from autism?

No. 708969

I can sort of relate, but for me it's also that I lose interest in doing emotional labor once I get to know the person better. The more I know someone, the more I judge them, and at some point I think they're worth it. I only like the early "nice to meet u" phase.

No. 708973

You lot sound socially inept and unable to form last longing bonds with people. Luckily, this is not uncommon(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 708976

It's the kind of people that only want the benefits of relationship while offering none themselves

No. 708977

What's your point? You targeted me but not the other anon who had a similar post.

No. 708978

She did say "you lot" ?

No. 708981

People can't even post in the vent thread anymore without people like you barging in with their shity insults. If you really want to do it take it to another thread.

No. 708983

My insults? I just said that she meant you both, I'm not that anon

No. 708984

My friend is so, so boring. She’s an 60 years old trapped inside the body of someone in her mid twenties.

No. 708987

Boring in what way?

No. 709001

anons I’ve been severely depressed since last March when I got in a car accident and then almost immediately laid off. I finally started working out again, calorie counting, and eating less garbage, AND I took care of stuff I’ve been putting off for a literal year. I’m looking at a new job tomorrow and I just needed to share. 2021 is still going to look like a hellscape but it’s time to help myself. Giving positive energy to anyone else who needs to make a change.

No. 709006

Thanks anon, good luck to you too.

No. 709011

Anyone else tired of meeting people but suddenly running out of things to talk about? Happens every time.

No. 709022

Glad you can kind of relate. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting as to why I feel this way because as I said in my original post I have been feeling guilty about this and know it’s my issue. I’ve been trying to assess more as to what I expect from friendships and what I can reasonably give so I can be better at drawing healthy boundaries. I think doing constant emotional labor for somebody is a lot easier said than done so its important to know your limits so that you don’t overextend yourself and then end up resenting someone. That’s just what I’ve been thinking!

No. 709055

I saw a black person today.

No. 709069

Moids brag about the "wall" but they're so bad at guessing women's age. I'm almost 26 and men still think I'm 19. Basically any woman who doesn't drink and smoke and eats healthy will look younger than her actual age, especially in comparison to an average moid.

No. 709075

I can’t wait to move so bad, I hate having to live under other peoples rules and be at the mercy of my parents/siblings moods of the day. I’ve been surrounded by so many family members my whole life that I think I will enjoy the solitude.

No. 709083

this doesn't happen(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 709103

i'm confused

No. 709104

I think the stimulus should have been the same or a larger amount but have stricter criteria as to who gets it. It pisses me off that I know 1 rich ass guy on his own who probably spent it on weed or dumb shit while my own friend who's decently off decided to build a pc when his own is a cut above the rest already, and still complain about money after. My health went down the shitter suddenly and I dont even have it still. I havent been eating much due to lack of grocery money plus I'm worried for next rent. Fuck this sucks.

No. 709106

File: 1609901953241.png (30.77 KB, 594x268, Screenshot_1.png)

>just be a doormat lmao

No. 709110

Lol the cope lots of men like that trait in women, especially since a lot of them (men) only have that trait when it comes to work or some other solitary aspect of their existence whereas dominant women are usually dominant in all areas.

>men don't like problem solvers because they're already problem solvers!!!
The cope lmaooo just say you're dumb and go, your bf doesn't like it as much as you think he does.

No. 709127

>why date someone similar to you that you can therefore work well with and deeply understand?

No. 709137

these women always type fucking essays about this shit when they could just say that it's easier to be retarded

No. 709142

Wow apparently guys don’t like it when you call them out on the things they make fun of girls for… like being overweight. Apparently, you’re “annoying” when you call a guy that after they try and call out a Reddit girl for being overweight when, judging by her pictures, will be much more proportional and appealing than he is.

No. 709149

it hit me recently that i wasted most of my youth and i don’t know how to feel about it

No. 709152

It really feels like nothing is ever going to get better. I do all the steps I am supposed to do but I'm only ever doing them out of guilt and shame of disappointing people. I've tried to "fake it til you make it" but I never "make it" and I end up more stressed and self-destructive than ever. At my most successful I was truly unhappy and taking pills every night but everyone was proud of me at least. I really wish I could disappear and not affect anyone ever again.

No. 709161

File: 1609913992830.jpg (73.64 KB, 650x873, 1608486986526.jpg)

i had this kid genius bf when i was like 13, and i'm still lowkey upset about the time he threw a tantrum because i got him birthday gifts he didn't like (logic puzzles and stuff… I WAS 13 I HAD NO MONEY). he yelled at me lol

he ended up going to stanford, working for google for like a year, and now has his own company that makes… enzymes? but fuck him he's still a manlet and i make more money and he DIDN'T DESERVE MY LOGIC PUZZLES

No. 709162

File: 1609914624189.png (614.34 KB, 828x818, chicken.png)

>>709161 Fuck that guy, will I base my opinion on him simply because he rejected your logic puzzles? Yes, I will, what a fucking asshole
You deserve someone who will appreciate your logic puzzles, anon
Pic unrelated.

No. 709171

File: 1609918273675.jpg (9.14 KB, 256x260, 20201221_003807.jpg)

I wish my mom had a better life. Shitty abusive and neglectful parents, abusive first husband and cheating/lying second husband.
Three shitty children (I'm included). No friends. Shitty siblings that lie and borrow money or gossip behind her back. I love her so much but I want to cry. She works so hard, 40 or more hours a week and has no time for herself, not even time to date. And any men in her pool would be absolute pieces of shit.

Wish I won the lottery and could give her half of it.

No. 709183

I hate being pregnant during a pandemic. I’ve been looking forward to being pregnant since I was like 10 and now I don’t even get to walk around and look cute in maternity clothes because I barely get to leave the house. My partner and mother can’t both be in the room when I give birth or during ultrasounds. No baby shower. I know there are bigger things to be worried about right now but I just feel like this whole experience was ruined and it breaks my heart

No. 709187

The fact that you even have that sentiment says that you aren’t just a “shitty child.” I obviously don’t know your relationship with her, but maybe you could tell her more or less what you posted, or at least that you feel like she deserves more in life? I’m sure it’d make her feel nice to hear that from you

No. 709191

What the other anon said. I think you should tell her that, itd probably mean the world to her

No. 709197

Adding to the other anons, small acts of kindness would mean a lot to her and help her feel appreciated. Depends on your financial situation and if you live with her, but it doesn’t have to be much - help out (more) around the house, make her a coffee, buy her favorite candy, message her to ask about her day. If you’re creative, make something for her. Listen to her. It sounds like she’s surrounded by so much negativity that a little positivity would really help.

No. 709202

I’m a shitty child, and just because one acknowledges it, doesn’t mean that they’re not. OP’s mom is better than mine and I’m probably a better child than her but it doesn’t say a lot. Shit is still shit and while things can be fixed, so long it’s just talks and not deeds everything is futile. Considering the thread is just a vent thread everything should be taken with a grain of salt.

No. 709203

File: 1609925491419.jpg (53.39 KB, 1080x817, cafadca.jpg)

How do i get over the fact that I dated a creep and gave my firsts to a creep? I don't know if anyone is actually going to read all of this, but i have no one else to talk to and i would like to hear someone's else's opinion about all of this. I don't want to get into my life story but from 10 to 12 and 14 to 17 I was a complete shut in so I lost life experience and I also never had a boyfriend. When I was 17 i pushed myself to change and get better. I had friends, i went back to school and I used to go to parties and get drunk sometimes too. When I had just turned 18 (he was 23 for context) all my friends already had their first kiss and lost their virginity so I feel like peer pressure was also part of me wanting a boyfriend and giving my first kiss. I met him at a beach party and our first encounter (after i had already seen him in two other parties and had a little crush because he was funny) was when I entered a tent to sleep and he was there as well, I was drunk so I started to drunk talk about music with him, he told me I was beautiful, he had never kissed a girl and wanted to kiss me and I was like nope. I guess that should have been a red flag since he knew I was drunk but he still asked?(we didn't kiss). After that he contacted me and we started to talk, we ended up going out and so he became my boyfriend. The thing is the first time I gave him a handjob was when I was drunk with friends at a festival. We distanced ourselves to a country side path and we started to kiss and he took his dick out, i was kind of shook but i guess I went with it but he started to get very pushy saying let's fuck over and over again but still i didn't want to, and after maybe two hours we went back. The next day he apologized saying i was drunk and he shouldn't have done that (so he knew he had done something wrong) and he was saying he couldn't control himself, beating himself up but i was too shy to say anything so I just told him it was fine. He was obsessed with his first love (they never dated, he liked her and she rejected him) and always talked about her saying i looked like her. He even used to go to her instagram with me etc. He was always pushing me to lose his verginity, saying it would have made us closer and bullshit like that, even back then I was thinking like, bro wtf are you doing…? Do you think I don't see what you're doing? There have been other three instances where he kind of pressured me to give him a blowjob when we were outside and I'm so ashamed of it I think it's gross and I want to forget. He also wanted to fuck outside and used to say bullshit like "everyone does it, everyone has places because ofc they can't do it at home c'mon" i was still thinking like wtf are you doing? It's making me mad thinking about it lmao, like he thought I was stupid or something (i guess I was, ugh). I went to his house two times, one time we went out for a bit(we lived in two different but close towns) his friends saw me and started screaming "woo hisname today fucks! woo" and he just laughed looking at them and told me "leave them be". One time we went to another party with my friends and I got very drunk. He didn't notice me the whole party, he was with his friends and I was with mine, then when I was very drunk we were together, we started to make out and i don't remember much of it until he put his hand down there, he was shit lmao, he didn't know shit but the thing is, for the two times i went to his house, he knew i was against him touching me there. I really hated the thought of someone doing that (still do). He also pressured me those times at his house saying "c'mon c'mon" but still i didn't want to. He stopped as soon as he realized how drunk i was but still it makes me angry and sick thinking about it. He was addicted to porn but he was aware and wanted to stop, he had talked to me about but I didn't know what that meant back then, i never watched porn so I was very clueless about anything regarding that (now I know more and i hate pornsick men ugh).
He told me another girl friend confessed to him but he chose me because I was prettier. This isn't to be mean but he wasn't attractive and he was short (I'm 5'1 he was 5'2) i didn't care back then(still don't to an extent) i always thought everyone is beautiful in some way but now I realize it wasn't the same to him or most men. I was pretty to him.
Around two years ago everything was too much and I started to become shut in again, i tried to shut it down at first, but eventually I gave into neetdom again. Since I couldn't go outside and i wanted to not talk to anyone and be left alone, i tried to break up with him 3 times. 1st time he got angry, 2nd he was no no no I'll wait for you let's just keep talking, 3rd time he completely ignored it. He was always saying bullshit like I'll wait for you forever but I just wanted him to leave me alone kek. I didn't know how to get rid of him, I've always been shy and a pushover(i don't think I am anymore, i got better) so I just accepted i had to talk to him. After a few months he told me he got drunk and made out with a friend of mine lmao. He said they were both very sorry kek i was relieved i could finally stop talking to him, i didn't want to fight so I just told him it was fine, we were already broken up anyway since I couldn't go outside, deleted everything and blocked him. (This isnt actually true, i don't really care anymore but it frustrated me a little bit that he was saying dumb lame bullshit like I'll wait for you forever when i wanted him to leave me alone and then at the first chance he got he made out with someone, it just showed how much of a coomer he is and makes me even more ashamed of dating him).
After two months, i created a profile in a forum, he knew the nickname i used for everything (very dumb of me using the same nickname for everything, i don't do this anymore but I'm very reserved, i have nothing to hide and i don't talk to anyone so I never thought someone would do something like this) and he found me right away. It was creepy. He wrote me he was suicidal and he needed to talk to me urgently. I unblocked him and he basically said he actually didn't have anything to say and he just wanted to talk to me, so i answered to his messages a couple of times but then i left him on seen. I didn't have the heart to block him again, but he kept contacting me so after two times i blocked him again. This was a bit less than year ago, around that time my phone also broke, since i didn't have any use for it I only bought one again 5-6 months ago. I didn't mention this earlier but I also had sent him 2-3 nudes when we were together. I don't want to blame everything on him pressuring me because it's not like that, i don't want what I wrote to be based on one side, but there was definitely him saying "c'mon c'mon" even here. This made me anxious, since i didn't know if he deleted them and i was scared he could have posted them somewhere. 4 months ago he sent me a message on my phone saying "it didn't make sense blocking me".
After thinking about it for a while, i decided to contact him to ask about the pictures. He said he had deleted them, to not worry, and to write to him sometimes. I told him no. Since then he contacted me other 3 times, so today I decided to block him again. So yeah this is basically it, I don't understand why he can't leave me alone, it's been two years. How do I get over being ashamed of having dated him and everything that came with it? I wish I could forget. I would like some other anons opinions about all of this. Sorry about how shitty this is written.

No. 709213

I've had pretty life interrupting levels of mental health issues going back to my early teens. I don't have anything where I tend to lash out or act bpd or anything like that. I don't endlessly vent or demand alot. It's my thing to manage. I've still lost both of my long term relationships to my depression though. Fair enough, anything that makes a person want to leave is a good enough reason imo. I accept that.

But when I see examples of the most unwell people in relationships that outlast mine I can't help but feel like shit. Like I must just have no redeeming qualities at all. I see people who lash out, vent constantly and bring a huge amount of daily emotional baggage and drama can still keep a partner. My low moods that I mostly keep to myself were relationship ending twice over. I hate to compare like that here I am.

No. 709214

Fuuck I hate anxiety so much. I don't even have a reason to be anxious anymore. The only thing that triggered it was my roommate said she's moving out next month which panicked me at first because I thought I'd have to move back home but my friend said she'll move in with me once my roommates gone so I techincally don't have anything to be worried about anymore. Yet here I am with my heart racing super bad and a pit in my stomach

No. 709218

That’s understandable anon, seeing people maintaining longer relationships than you despite acting worse would make anyone question their worth. The thing is though, that’s not a good thing at all for them or their relationship. It may outlast yours but so what? Unhealthy relationships can drag on for decades if allowed to. They’re not desirable, and are rarely completely fixable. It’s a good sign that your chosen partners respected themselves enough to spare the heartbreak.

The thing I find really frustrating is comparing my relationships to people that act like you described, who don’t have a diagnosis and aren’t seeking one. It feels like they’re given a free pass to act completely insane because they’re not actually insane (on paper), whereas I’m under scrutiny even for normal behaviour because I’m not allowed to act insane even though I am insane? I don’t know, those are some mental gymnastics and it makes me feel bad. So I get how you feel. The only way forward is recovery and understanding that toxic relationships are nothing to be jealous about.

No. 709227

That last paragraph.. I have dated guys way crazier than me but seeing as I got myself a diagnosis at some point in my history that meant I had to take all blame for arguments. All those one sided screaming matches that I calmly sat through.. my fault of course lol. Never seen anyone really talk about that scrutiny before. It's a thing.

No. 709233

I wish I could stick a portable vacuum cleaner in my throat so I could finally be able to breathe without coughing every second. I couldn’t sleep at all and I had to take a bunch of random shit so I can waste the whole fucking day asleep. Amazing.
I just don’t want to have anymore phlegm clogging my bronchioles, making me seem like I got the ‘rona when I’m perfectly fine and got a negative test.