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No. 414785

Last thread >>407188

what's troubling you, anon?

No. 414790

Saw this really beautiful insta model and got severely depressed as I continued to scroll and notice that she's got the natural features of a goddess. She doesn't photoshop either; you can tell if you look in other people's photos with her that she just wears light mascara and maybe foundation.
I guess it just fucks me up that even if I were to put on makeup and do everything in my power to look good (which I have), I'd never be on the same level as her. I wish my genetics could have been as kind to me as they were to her. Wish I could be desirable and attractive.

No. 414792


U realise it's very likely that she photoshops the pics and sends them to her mates prior to upload. These insta women have anti-reality paparazzi mafias that prevent their true form ever escaping. Don't be fooled, anon.

No. 414795

Stop browsing IG and putting so much importance on looks if it has this effect on you.

No. 414799


To this anon: Go to therapy if you can. It changed my life and it can change yours too.

No. 414807

Looks aren't all that important anon. Sure, some girl on the internet looks "perfect", but that doesn't say anything about her personality or any other qualities. Public people tend to lie and exaggerate things on the internet. Focus on your skills and make them better, there's always room for improvement. That's what keeps you successful.

No. 414820

I used to think like you but then I actually met some "naturally perfect" girls from instagram and… They also edit their photos. Even when they preach body positivity and being real.

Instagram is a platform for people to posture how much their life is better than everyone else's I've come to realise.

No. 414823

Even if her looks are real (which is not sure), there's no reason to be miserable just because someone has won the genetic lottery. Life is unfair. What makes attractive people attractive is that they're rare. Also, looks are only a part of it. You can definitely be desirable and attractive in different ways.

No. 414825

If it's any solace, some people are just normal looking but very photogenic. Even without photoshop/facetune there's many ways to manipulate your looks with angles, lighting, etc.
I used to know a girl who would brag about being a model (translation: had rich parents who would pay photographers to take pictures of her). She was tall and skinny but had a very normal, average face. Not ugly or anything, just a really dime a dozen normal white girl face. One day I actually saw her modeling photos on instagram and almost spat out my drink because it looked absolutely nothing like her. If someone stumbled upon her social media you'd probably think she's some stunning 10/10 model when in real life she was gangly and plain. 2D photos can be deceiving.

No. 414831

Thanks anons for your words. She so happens to be a (seemingly) sweet person and insanely talented at art too and I guess I just had a 'wtf how are you perfect' kind of moment. But of course it could just be fabricated like you all said.

I don't browse instagram at all, I saw her photo in a youtube video and got interested and looked her up. Chill.

No. 414841

These days, the only way for me to do stuff is to get on ambien and let the non depressed uninhibited part of my brain make lists of things to do and starting them. I wish I could be my ambien self all the time. This girl gets shit done and have pretty good ideas.

No. 414844

Me but with weed. I haven’t smoked in a few years but I might soon again. Wish you the best with your issue/

No. 414847

If I'm given lots of attention and my partner is very much available I lose interest, when they're emotionally unavailable and cold I want them more than anything but I also feel bad and unwanted. There's no winning with me.

No. 414853

>a naturally pretty looking anything on, of all places there exist, instagram: the plastics!
post her insta because I am pretty god damn sure it turns out she's fake. Otherwise I am just curious. She's a model and not just a friend like you stated I assume so it can't hurt to share?

No. 414876

File: 1558911573660.png (648.37 KB, 547x559, BhGFWOYAKoc.png)

Here you go.

Pic related is the most unflattering image of her I could find IMO. I had to scroll quite a bit to find it and now that I really look at it, I guess she is just good at taking advantages of angles.

No. 414881

She’s obviously using a smoothing/blurring filter in almost all of her pictures plus circle lenses

No. 414883

That was very obviously run through meitu.
Is this a selfpost…?

No. 414884

according to her pull thread she used to photoshop a lot of her ig photos but they say she's toned it down. I think she's pretty though. I relate to your feelings a lot at the moment. I'm too improve my looks and part of me hopes that I'll end up looking pretty once I'm done but it's just not realistic.

No. 414887

NTA but that's so weird and interesting for me to hear because I remember seeing >>414876 ages ago and being really jealous of how perfect she was but not knowing who she was at all. She still looks super pretty but yeah I can see now that her less edited photos are more normal looking.

No. 414892

She's pretty but nothing outstanding. Her face is quite asymmetric, her boobs look fake too. She has a lot of make up on. Not what I was expecting from op

No. 414895

How is she depressingly pretty when she's objectively just average physically? She aint even that succesful unless I just don't know who she is. She also wears makeup to the point she looks drastically different, so not really natural. And then another thing is that she, while likely too brainlet to use photoshop, uses meitu or some shit and it shows, as it always does. Unless you're actually only using it to zap a few pimples away, which most don't since it is addicting (been there done that) and they and the rest of the brainlet world thinks it looks convincing…but then again it doesn't require much skills.

If you hate reading posts with many sentences just skip to this part: you're insecure and autistic to be frank and need to go outside more.

No. 414898

A friendly lovely reminder that everyone who uses meitu or whatever to change their looks drastically is clinically insane and ugly. I remember the good old times when a simple filter was said to be used by ugly girls who wanna look cuter, lol, meanwhile in today's times if girls only use the stock filters on their default's camera app they'd be considered still natural beauties. And I don't think honest to death a filter correcting the colors to the point a photo gets aesthetic or even to represent accurate colors is equivalent to a girl changing her entire face with a "beauty" app. Girls who use beautyapps to change their looks drastically are vain and mentall ill. And stupid too because they think nobody notices it. Horny perverts from the third world who give you likes on insta don't count.

Instead of only looking like this on photos to get attention on instagram why won't you improve your actual irl in real life looks? The face slimmer seems to be only used by chubs for example.

No. 414900

Piggy backing my vent off that anon who posted the pretty girl upthread: I went to grade school with a girl who looked pretty similar and as we grew up, I was always insanely jealous of just how much… better her skin was, nicer her clothes were, and just how much prettier she was. I haven't entirely moved past it despite learning to take care of my skin and buy clothes that suit me better and overall accepting my faults but also working with the (good) cards that I've been dealt.

We had weird sort of falling out a long, long time ago over some dumb small shit. I always felt like she was playing some holier than thou card with me, and lowkey belittling me (saying things like "your fashion choices on (mmo game we used to play together) are so good, but you don't dress (as fashionably) like it irl" or "i only ever wear an outfit ONCE. i would never wear it twice" and as we got older and i really got a sense of how to dress myself better, her compliments were still sort of lowkey backhanded like "wow you dress so much nicer now!" I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, but I sure took it that way lol.

To that anon, it's entirely camera angles and apps. Sure, there's some natural beauty in there too somewhere, but I don't think she's entirely flawless. Also, not to racebait, but she does look really similar to my childhood friend. To some extent, all these ig influencers start to blur together and look really similar to each other, play the same camera tricks, and use make up to accentuate the same features. They're undoubtably pretty, but they're a dime a dozen in a sea of ig models. Don't feel bad anon. There's always people who will also find you pretty too.

No. 414903

I live in London and see beautiful asian girls like this pretty often on the tube. I would say that asian makeup is better quality than western makeup (some Instagram videos are very revealing, they use brightening foundation and creams on face and upper body) so that gives a slight advantage. While an incredible amount of Instagram girls are incredible catfish, beautiful people exist irl and we all just gotta deal with it. You don't need to invent a shitty personality for them, or say all photos are fake to try and change that (though most photos are fake)

I don't personally believe more attractive people necessarily have better lives. It can be more difficult to make friends, date and network due to how people view you (generally, sexually or threatened by you) and fitting in more can lead to a more socially fulfilling life. If you think approval from strangers but no real close friendships is fulfilling then I don't know what to tell you.

No. 414913

I was watching The Office for the first time but I had to stop in season 7 because seeing Michael get back with Holly upsets me so much lol. My girlfriend broke up with me and I'm so hopelessly still hung up over her 6 months later, and it makes me upset that I'm still the one dealing with shitty feelings and not being able to move on while she's just out living her life like nothing's changed. I hate seeing Michael get his fairytale ending with Holly. I hate that, despite his shit antics towards her when she returns to Scranton, he still gets to be with her. I'll never have that. I'll never be able to talk to my ex even as a friend, I'll never be able to scream at her at how much she's made me upset and how much fucking shit I've dealt with for the past 6 months. The worst part is that she isn't even a bad person. She was as nice as possible during the break up, was the sweetest, most caring person when we dated… and it just makes me feel even more like shit to wish bad on her. All my past partners were shit to me and it's so much easier to just get over shit people… but she was actually nice, and good.

I thought I was making progress in getting over her but the truth is that I'm just a pathetic piece of shit and I'll never date someone as beautiful or amazing as she was. Even though I preached a few threads ago to an anon that there will be someone else out there who will love them. I'll never find someone like her again. She was my actual dream girl, and I fucked it up by dating her. Should've just kept my stupid gay mouth shut and just been happy to have become friends with her. God fuck me. My self loathing is at an all time high even though I've spent years working on it and feeling genuinely good about myself- now I just constantly can't help to hate everything that I do. I just really, really fucking hate myself.

No. 414926

I had an insane mental breakdown Friday night.

The only time I ever self-harmed, I was 18 and on a slew of medications. I’ve been off of all meds for 4 years and I have had some down periods but never anything like this. I recently swapped BC’s and I got my period yesterday so I imagine it’s the culprit.

Anyway, Friday is my normal cleaning night. I live with my bf of 2 years and we had had a pretty good day and he was playing video games while I cleaned. I was drinking and normally I do not drink in excess but for some reason this night I did. I got mad at him over something stupid and started screaming at him, he was like “wtf” and at that point I blacked out. We screamed a lot and he ended up leaving, I threatened to kill myself. While he was gone I took a knife and stabbed my left hand repeatedly. The marks are not really bad, but still noticeable. He came back not too long after and was really upset over it. I lied and told him I had cut myself with a razor because I thought at the time that was a little less absolutely insane than trying to repeatedly drive a 9” kitchen knife through your hand.

Anyway, he’s forgiven me but he’s deeply worried. I’m worried, too. I haven’t had an episode like this in years. I am going to call on tuesday and talk to my gyno about getting off this new bc.

No. 414928

Dang them birth control pills make you possessed by a demon? Now I know why my mom says they're bad for me.

No. 414932

anon she wears a shit ton of makeup in all her photos. she's still pretty but she definitely isn't makeupless in her photos, or even particularly natural. i was expecting something totally different.

same as you guys. people shit on not being sober but literally i cannot take care of myself or take care of things when not 'medicated'/high. i just feel so defeated and completely drained when sober and it contributes to me neglecting myself. i hate that society sees people who use pharmaceuticals or self medicates to quell their depression as being 'unmotivated druggies', when literally i am FAR more unmotivated without them.

No. 414934

I really regret accepting the first job offer I got. After all of the horror stories I heard about how hard it is to get hired after college, I thought no one would want to hire me so after I got my first offer at a job that's ok but not ideally what I want to do I accepted it. I've been working there for like 2 weeks and in that time I've gotten 6 offers from jobs I interviewed with but didn't hear back from in like a week so I figured I was out of the running for. But I'm at my job now and I don't want to piss them off by quitting, plus I signed a 13 month lease so I'm fucked. Ugh. I'm so dumb.

No. 414942

I don't think I'm pregnant, but the thought is slowly freaking me out.

Had sex on the last day I took my pill, which was 4 days before I got my period. It's been 2 weeks, and I assume the cramping is because of ovulation, but I'm also feeling nauseous since today. Might be some stomach bug or something.

Uuugh, why does everything have to be a symptom of pregnancy??

No. 414956

Absolutely none of my hobbies can hold my interest. It's been like this for awhile but it's just getting so bad. I can't stay invested in any of the games I used to play for more than a couple days before abandoning them. I haven't sketched anything in months. I stopped going to my exercise and life drawing classes. I used to make myself keep doing them because that's what I know I'm supposed to do, but it just made me feel worse and worse so I stopped.

I don't even feel particularly depressed, just bored, 24/7. I struggle to entertain myself in any meaningful way. I'll get bored watching a youtube video so I'll open another and watch that too. Then I'll listen to both of them while reading news articles. That's how bored I am. I'm starting to suspect it's not depression but my childhood ADHD making a comeback. I'd get therapy but my visa situation makes it tricky. Also the country I'm in has shitty mental health support anyway so I doubt I could be treated in a meaningful way. Also, I'm not sleeping, havent gotten more than a couple hours of sleep a night for the last year.

The worst part is that it's taking a toll on my relationship. My bf wants to do things but I just don't feel interested or motivated. I force myself to do stuff with him and I can't focus to save my life and he can tell. He calls me an emotional black hole and he's not wrong. The only emotions I feel now are boredom and frustration.

No. 414959


learn a bit more about the menstrual cycle, anon. you're not pregnant.

No. 414979

God, I can’t believe I have somehow caught feeling for my boss. I thought I’m way past the age of this kind of schoolgirl crush, but here I am, having a literal lovesickness for a married guy. No joke.
I don’t know, I don’t even like his personality that much. I feel like I just like the idea of him. But somehow, he is always on my mind to the point that I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I can’t function normally anymore. Just looking at him fills me with anxiety and it just physically hurts.
Aren’t feelings supposed to pass with time? And yet it has already been half a year and I’m falling deeper and deeper into this hole and can’t pull myself together anymore.
I just want to die

No. 414984

I was on a birth control that made me incredibly emotionally unstable too. I had crippling depression out of nowhere almost a month into using it. Shortly after the depression showed up, I ended up driving my (now ex-)boyfriend away from it after a meltdown I had where I threatened suicide and unloaded all my traumatic memories on him. Like you, I was also drinking and my meltdown also was the result of getting worked up over something stupid and basically spiraling out of control. Your gynecologist might tell you that the bc isn’t likely the culprit and tell you to wait it out for three months like mine did. I decided to stop using it against my gynecologist’s advice and my depression basically went away after a week. Anyways, that’s my own experience with extreme emotional imbalance and bc.

No. 414994

Think about all of his negative traits.

No. 415003

You're not the first woman to have fallen for her boss. It's the oldest cliche there is. And like you said yourself, you don't even really particularly like him, it's just that power+competence=sexy. You really don't want to break up a marriage though. You don't even want to be someone that fantasizes about it. So I'd strongly recommend you transferred to another apartment or another building branch. With any luck your feelings will dissipate when you're no longer working under him, and if not then at least you'll be out of the danger zone.

No. 415007

Sales is such a bitch to work in even when you know how to pitch. I’m barely in and want out lol.

No. 415009

Uh, I understand that moms are immune to feeling disgust when their baby touches them with their spit covered hands and tiny sharp nails, but why do I have to be okay with it too? Sorry but I don't like your ugly, dirty baby and I don't want him to touch me.
Moms need to understand that only they think their baby is the world's ultimate marvel.

No. 415016

I'm nearing my mid-20s and I don't know how to wear makeup, never had sex, never been to a school dance or party only had one bf and only ever traveled with my mom. I feel like I've wasted my best years and my youth and missed so many oppotunities and experiences. I also feel like I've never grown up/matured mentally and often forget that I'm now many years older than the high/school college kids I see around.

No. 415017

I have been arguing with women who are attacking Heidi and honestly, dumpy, plain faced "nerd" girls are some of the most ardent male defenders and are ignorant to the point of embarrassment. Like, honestly, these men don't even fucking like you. They're nasty people. This is legit reverse white knighting. Why are you caping like this with your name and face attached, goddamn

No. 415031

I'm in crisis ans there's nowhere to go. I tried calling around and any appointment I can take is month from now.
I guess I could barge in at the ER, wait for hours and either have them tell me to stay in the loony ward for the night or send me home laughing.
There are no issues to this shit. I feel like I can't wait, I have to do something to fix this and that it's unberable while knowing there is nothing that can realistically be done right now besides killing myself or dosing myself with benzos and be even worse in a few hours.

No. 415051

I am tired of this life. It's not really bad or anything except for the fact that I can't feel almost anything anymore. I just know I am always going to fail at everything I do and disappoint everyone around me. I don't wanna make my family and bf sad but not everyone is fit for life as it is. I just hope they don't feel sad when I die. I know this is a shitty thing to post here but I just wanted to write something and I really like this forum after all.

No. 415061

Some girl in my class called me a "Solas from Dragon Age-lookin ass bitch" because I took her seat without knowing and I don't know whether to laugh or cry

No. 415073

Solas has good bone structure hope you're not bald anon lol

No. 415138

File: 1558968893468.gif (888 KB, 400x225, KNDLZ83.gif)

>Mfw some dude tells me the real theme of The Virgin suicides is a father who has lost his masculinity

No. 415141

I don't want to get pregnant. I feel like my mom, my fiance's mom, my fiance, all our family tbh want us to have kids but I don't want to be pregnant. The thought of raising kids doesn't bother me but I'd really rather not get fat and go through the trauma of childbirth. To add on my ob/gyn says I'd be a high risk pregnancy IF I can even get pregnant due to some medical issues but every time I try to voice those concerns, no one seems to care.

No. 415143

Stop caring if they care.
Be firm and tell them you don't give a shit what they think.

No. 415145

1) what a horrible bitch, sounds like she uses too much twitter.
2) he'd be a cute girl if he had hair.

No. 415147

of course anon, every single piece of media ever must be about men at it's core. Even those made by a woman. FFS I hate guys like that.

No. 415157

I think I'm working with a patented narcissist and that now that I've made clear I have some skills he doesn't, he's trying to sabotage me or at least shade me.

I've now known him for a year and I'm starting to think that the guy is a full blown sociopath. Once, he was asked how his wife was doing after a loss and he responded "well, she's still beautiful". wtf? Most of his solutions are to say something to the effect of "oh, there's a way to do it and someone will find out". Despite being an pretend expert, his advice are out of touch and never-ever take into account the reality of things (the time things actually take, dev constraints, the actual inner workings of the project…).
Seemingly his only skill is to be charming enough that it takes weeks/month to see that he never puts in any real work and is a fucking fraud.
I guess I won't be putting too much into that job and will be on the prawl for a new one soon. It's too bad because I love the job, I've started to invest a lot in it. What a mess

No. 415205

I don't like feeling like a stingy and mean cunt but my friends going through a fakeboi phase and while she clearly has no desire to actually transition and looks super effeminate except for wearing a binder and having short hair her fakeboi bs is beginning to grind at me and I don't know how to be polite about saying she needs to knock it off, even other people have called her female multiple times including her own friends who knew her before I did and she gets miffed about it… if you walk like a duck talk like a duck and look like a duck why can't you just be a tomboyish female and get it over with tbh, I'm not even against trans people but the ones who are clearly fakebois and don't try and pass piss me off, and i hate that besides this one fatal character flaw my friend is a good person, but I seriously feel bad just hiding how I feel and I'm afraid our friendship will entirely die if I come out and say it, and bc I've met a lot of people through her that they'll stop talking to me too bc of it, and I'll be a friendless fucking loser again

No. 415207

I feel so useless. I'm almost 21 years old and I've never had a job, I'm no longer in education since I dropped out, and my mental and physical health is going down the drain. My mother never taught me how to do basic adult things, I'm only just gathering the energy now to learn them, but I'm worried it won't work out and I'll end up being like my dad (who is unemployed at almost 50, and has been for the majority of my life).
I've been applying for jobs again lately but I feel kind of hopeless about it. I'm going to call the doctors soon and hopefully I will be able to see a therapist eventually, and hopefully it'll help. But Christ, I'm only just realising now I have some serious growing up to do. I'm picking up the pieces of my life that have been on pause because of substance abuse and depression, and it sucks.

No. 415211

I’ve been thinking a lot about my first ex and how he hoarded certain illegal material. There were also times when he told me that he was talking to other enthusiasts of said material online on a fairly active hentai Discord server. I don’t know if it’s too late to report him for it. I was in such a bad place during the relationship and was under so much abuse and manipulation that I was afraid to do so during the relationship.

No. 415212

lol just remembered that my friend's drunk father pulled me into the bathroom when I like 11 or 12 and tried to kiss me while telling me he'd give me money. He stopped as soon as I pulled away and I never told anyone. I was already dealing with other abuse and glossed over the encounter pretty quickly. I'm feeling angry over the fact that I had to compartmentalize and prioritize my feelings and experiences as a child because I had no help. I can't even say if that encounter affected me negatively because everything else seemed so much worse in comparison at the time.

No. 415215

I hope you know that this is more common than you think. I myself am in a similar situation and I'm trying to do something with my life, despite not having had the best foundation.
Good thing is you're actually self-aware and want to change; that's the best start right there!
Don't be too harsh on yourself, even when you make mistakes. You'll get better at things, and you're so young so if you keep that attitude, I'm sure things will only get better!
Wish you good luck!

No. 415217

Men are disgusting.

No. 415219

File: 1558985421142.jpg (49.65 KB, 399x372, IMG_E0794.JPG)

i am in a very happy, stable, loving relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years now and i still have thoughts of how i want to be sexual with a teacher i was close with in high school and a professor at my uni who is unmarried.

it's the one thing i don't tell anyone irl. my friends know i'm a degenerate but they don't know how deep it goes. i always agree that cheating is a terrible thing to do, even thinking about it is awful; why do i have to be the person who has cheating tendencies? i find my boyfriend super hot, incredibly sweet and charming, but it's long distance, and i hate being such an attention whore on the inside. i can't stop fantasizing about men who have authority over me taking advantage and i hate that i get off to it.

No. 415222

My boyfriend has this friend he once hooked up with that is drop-dead gorgeous. We were out at a con last weekend with two of his friends and they kept talking together about how sexy she was. I wouldn't have cared if it was about anyone else, but this girl has been a source of so much insecurity in my relationship and it made me feel sick hearing it all. I tried to talk to him about it and he said he felt super uncomfortable with how skimpily she dressed, which honestly did not make me feel better (the amount of girls that go to cons wearing basically nothing yet he only felt uncomfy around her??). I'm convinced he has feelings for her and it's just really getting to me. I'm older, shorter, more shapeless, and far uglier than she is and it just really sucks to hear the person you love rave about some other chick he's fucked.

No. 415225

My boyfriend is hanging out with a girl who stole a guy from me 5 years ago. It was a total shock that he even knew her cause I haven’t seen her in those past 5 years, he invited her to his house to drink with his friends because his friend is into her. I know rationally that my boyfriend likes me, wouldn’t leave me for her, and I should have faith that she’s matured in the past 5 years, however there’s a part of me that can’t stop thinking about how every guy would have chosen her over me then and probably now. I couldn’t stop looking at her social media and she puts way more effort into her appearance and is always wearing makeup and cute clothes and has a lot of piercings and tattoos, while I usually dress more casually and now I feel fuck ugly. I know he invited her cause his friend is into her, but he originally said that friend was bringing her and then my bf added that he personally invited her in person today cause she came into the store my bf works at. I won’t be there because I wasn’t planning on drinking and everyone else is, i can’t crash at his place if I do drink, and it’s a pretty far drive home. I know I’m being completely irrational and I should trust my boyfriend and I do, but I don’t trust her and this just ruined my fucking day. I didn’t even realize I was like, high school levels of insecure at this point in my life which is making me feel even worse that I feel so bad about this.

No. 415226

I mean do you have cheating tendencies or taboo fantasies, cuz they’re different things

No. 415227

It's normal to have sexual thoughts about other people when in a relationship and it doesn't mean you'll cheat.

No. 415228

i'm extremely against guns and shootings depress the hell out of me but part of me doesn't want them to get outlawed yet just because committing brain shooty on myself has been my dream for years now and i don't want my plans to get fucked up before i can go and buy one
it's an extremely fucked up line of thinking but i had to get it out somewhere

No. 415230

What an asshole. Who says that kind of thing in front of their current girlfriend? Was he trying to sound cool in front of his friends? Makes me angry just thinking about it. You don't deserve that, it's incredibly cruel especially since it's been a source of discomfort for your entire relationship. He sounds very thoughtless.

No. 415232

I can relate, my bf is friend with the girl that used to be touted as being the most gorgeous girl of his school, she has a beautiful face and a great body since she does a lot of sports. Before he and I dated he would talk about her a lot with his friends, not mentioning her by name, she was just "the hottest girl at school", him and another dude would brag about being friend with her, and how the other guys at their school were green with envy. He even mentioned he was sexting with her during a party, and implied she sent him nudes, without letting us read the texts. Just thinking about it make me feel insecure af.
Now that we're dating he literally never talks about her in those terms, the only time he mentioned her to me was to talk about a business she's starting, and I think that's the standards you should have with your bf to, he needs to respect you.

No. 415233

I don’t mind playing an instrument for Memorial Day parades but I got stuck next to the drummers and a military plane flew super low over both events we played in. My eardrums are beat today

No. 415234

How long have you been dating? I’d be wary too

No. 415236

If it’s real CP report him

No. 415238

We’ve only been dating for 3 months, we had mutual crushes on each other for over a year but I was dating other guys during that time so it just now aligned that we were at event together and I was single like 3.5 months ago. My friends are all telling me that he won’t leave me when he’s had a crush on me for over a year and a half for a girl he’s only met in the last month, but I can’t stop thinking about it as “Well he didn’t know R in that last year and a half”

No. 415243

why do people have to lump in race, sexuality, and gender as IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THIS ONE THING YOU ALSO DON'T LIKE THE OTHER TWO AND IT SHOWS like are you retarded? they're three different topics. homophobia, racism, and sexism, keep them separate. i've KNOWN some lgbt people who were both sexist and racist. i've known women who are homophobic and racist. i've known non-whites who were sexist and homophobic. it ain't that hard of a concept to understand. god.

No. 415249

American two-party politics gives the entire country and increasingly western culture in general black and white thinking. You're either on team good guy or team bad guy because there's only two options for which team gets the rule for a bit.

No. 415267

Sometimes I feel like I'm not even depressed, like I'm just pretending I am as an excuse for how much of a piece of shit waste of life I am.

No. 415276

Sounds like something a depressed person would say.

No. 415283

Samefag, someone who called her female believes the same things I do about the fact that trans people should pass and she called him transphobic and now I should not say anything because she's literally dumped him from her life and is now going to rely on me and I'm fucking angry because I can't say anything otherwise I'll lose everything I've worked hard for in this friendship

I thought this was a girl who identified as a girl when I met her but idk how long it's been like this but the moment I mention that I don't think this shit is real it's going to make somebody pop a vein

I'm a terrible person when it comes to walking on eggshells and I feel like I'm going to say something wrong and fuck up the entire relationship, it's not like I dislike this person but I'm not sure I can handle this influx of identity politics, I can't leave now and I feel trapped, fucking help me

No. 415287

I've been self-harm free for a good 4 or 5 months now, but every other week the urge to do it crops back up.
It's exhausting fighting myself on a daily basis when one part of my brain wants that familiar release, but the other half knows why it's bad. I honestly believe I am a waste of human life though, so right now I can't help but think that I deserve having a self harm habit. It's not like anyone would know I did it anyway.

No. 415288

File: 1559000301697.png (31.4 KB, 384x380, 1544505779822.png)

My boyfriend and I got into a fight last night for the first time.
He's constantly jumping me and trying to fuck but I never engage because I don't want to do that stuff so early in the relationship. I tell him to stop and to "stop smothering me" because I'm clearly uncomfortable but he would keep doing it.
Eventually the night came along and I would still refuse to fuck and he got pissed off. He started rambling and I stared quietly at what he had to say, saying that he felt disgusting and unwanted because I would never reciprocate. I explained to him that I'm not that type of girl that gets into bed so soon. He tells me that I've been giving him mixed signals but to me it was pretty clear, I apologize. He gets mad again and goes on rambling, eventually saying something along the lines of:
>"then what the fuck are you doing in my home then? get out!"
I started crying and he finally calmed down a bit. I had to go home so we were about to go downstairs and usually he walks me down to wait for the bus stop. He seemed to not want to go down with me so I try to kiss him goodbye and he dodged his head.
As I walk to the elevator I start crying but then he opens his door and runs out to go down with me and SLAMS his hand on the button.
I felt so bad… but thinking back… this is so fucking unfair. What did I do wrong here? His intentions are clearly wrong.

No. 415292

>saying that he felt disgusting and unwanted because I would never reciprocate
Sounds like he memorised the right buzzwords and is saying them to make you feel bad.
There's never anything wrong with not wanting to have sex, but your reasons are particularly easy to understand, even for a horny man. What you're saying about his behavior makes me think he's just being manipulative and faking strong emotions to guilt you into having sex.

No. 415301

Entitled anger issues dipshit not respecting boundaries and clearly not compatible with you. Dump him.

No. 415302

File: 1559002415559.png (228.7 KB, 434x281, Sad_SpongeBob.png)

I think I've been spending way to much time on /r/femcel and the pink pill thread. Whenever I look at a guy all I can think 'are you a pornsick sexist nice guy'. Femcels has also made me feel ugly for the first time in my life and I can't stop obsessing over my looks now. I should take a long break from those sites.

No. 415303

You have more resolve than me. I'm not comfortable saying no to men as I worry about retaliation (though nobody has ever been violent, I just have Strong Instincts) so I avoid all dating stuff. I'm sorry he is pressuring you when you're not ready.

No. 415305

I'm sorry you have to deal with this bullshit anon, he was 100% trying to manipulate you whether he knows it or not. I've been in this exact situation myself, except I let him have his way every time because I'm an idiot. You're strong for standing your ground as best you could have and honestly, you deserve better. You didn't do anything wrong.

No. 415306

This guy whom I really like, whom I have a deep connection with suddenly became distant/is avoiding me. Maybe he got the hint that I like him romantically and he didn't want to lead me on. Or maybe I'm just making excuses, maybe he really is an asshole.

It sucks for a relationship to end without an honest discussion or a farewell, or some sort of a mutual closure because you'd be left with nothing but unanswered questions on what happened and what went wrong.

I still hope he comes back and it would be like the good old days again, but it has been months.

How long does it usually take to get over someone and why the fuck can't I just get myself to block him forever?

No. 415307

Uhhh… I'm not usually one to go "dump him" any time a boy isn't perfect, but please don't stay with him, anon. The red flags are pretty instense and he honestly spunds like a psycho.

I promise you there are truly good men in the world, just proceed with caution and don't ignore red flags.

No. 415308

Put the thread on ignore anon. I've always had it on ignore because I honestly think it's way too nasty and disagreeable for my own good and I don't like looking at it. You can hide threads, just hide it if you don't want to see it.

No. 415311

Yeah, I got immediate manipulation vibes but I wanted to give him a chance to explain himself. Using insecurity to justify his actions definitely seems like some tactic. It's not hard to keep your hands off of someone. I also wanted to add that he would say that what he was doing is "healthy" and that I should be glad because he didn't want to have sex with other girlfriends like that. I don't think he's sorry at all, he apologized but it seems very… fake. Think I might go ahead and dump him. Thanks all.

No. 415313

I have never sent out nudes to anybody, especially when I was in high school. I recently heard from an old classmate that practically all the boys in our school had a private chat were they shared any nudes they received from any of the girls, and they'd all make comments on them and compare how they look. Like I'm not surprised, but it made me feel really sick. The fucking audacity of them to treat people like that. I just know that at least some of the girls in my school would have been pressured into sending those photos. Boys are so disappointing, I hope they'll grow up to not be such twats.

No. 415315

>I hope they'll grow up to not be such twats.

Scrots are indoctrinated from a young age to treat women like shit and you're still out here clinging to a thread of optimism. Oh, anon.

No. 415316

Guys at my school did that too, one even got suspened for trying to take up skirt pics during school. I feel like men should have the majority of their rights taken away.

No. 415322

That seems really common. Not really surprising since men have always liked to boast to their friends about their access to women for the ego boost and this is the 2019 version of that.

No. 415323

Men who act tough but are too much of pussies to stand up for you are disgusting.

No. 415333

File: 1559011529749.jpg (40.37 KB, 400x393, 1547845007265.jpg)

My medication is making me gain a little bit of weight and lots of bloating, it is quickly going to throw me into my ED again. I feel disgusting and I can't talk to any of my friends about it. I feel alone.

No. 415347

I shouldn’t be but I’m sad over cutting contact with my ex fuckbuddy because I’m in a relationship - he had a breakdown over the fact and I can’t help but feel sorry for him

No. 415361

both i guess
idk if the opportunity presented itself… not sure i'd say no.

No. 415363

My boyfriend's mom ended up moving across the street from an old friend of my family and they figured it out through small talk. Like they live out in the boonies and I am so mad this coincidence happened. Suddenly she knows a bunch of old drama and things I have dealt with in my past which I guess my mom or grandma shared with the neighbor. I thought it was bad enough my boyfriend's brother-in-law used to be coworkers with my cousin and uncle. This is a major city! It sucks. I want to keep my demons in my damn closet but people keep spilling the beans.

No. 415375

like no men stand up for their gfs or wives anymore. it's really pathetic. meanwhile, they still mostly retain all of the negatives that society expected from men in the past. now they just have none of the positives.

No. 415376

Express that to a man and he'll tell you tough shit, you're just getting what you asked for when you asked for equality.

No. 415378

It hasn't been solved yet since scrotes will only listen to what other scrotes say regarding what is or isn't acceptable behavior, but it might be solved in the next generation when whatever percentage of decent men remaining go on to raise the next crop.

No. 415413

I guess I'm depressed for real. It's been days of total paralysis where I can't decide what to do. I don't know what to eat, what to do, just want to browse memes and shit.
This morning, I had an hour long debate over going to the office or working remote, almost having a panic attack over it because I was unable to weigh pros and cons over something not that important.
Good thing I have an appointment with a psychologist next week. Let's just hope it won't be utterly useless like every time I tried to fix all of this mess in the last 15 years.
I also bought myself a BPD workbook on a whim. I'm not sure it's my issue (they don't hand out diagnoses in my country, I never got much besides the really helpful "welp, you're obviously in pain and anxious"). I'll try to get at it and see if it fits.
Oh, also, it's been a month since my last contact with my ex. I'm proud. I had a random dream about him last night but otherwise didn't think that much about him over the last week.
Sorry to unload all of this on you anon. I have nobody to talk to.

No. 415508

You're not alone anon. I have an eating disorder and was just put on new medication doing the same thing. I'm trying to fight the dysphoria.

No. 415516

I wish there was a refund policy for Universities who, for whatever reason, hire foreign lecturers that speak in a harsh foreign language. Not only you can barely understand them, even when they speak somewhat human, their sentence structure is fucked up and they constantly stutter. I have three such lecturers in my course and unfortunately, I have to sit through some of those lectures because of the attendance points.
Just listening to them gives me such headaches. Who thought it was a good idea to have them lecture when they barely speak the language? And my uni isn't even some community college, like the fee is hefty.

God, I need some more aspirin.

No. 415517

Also, saying "sorry for the accent, just ask again if you don't understand something teehee"
doesn't excuse you from being terrible at lecturing.

Some have been at the same post for a few years and still barely speak the language.

And while the HR that hired them is at fault, so are they for accepting it. If you're barely understood, then how dare you to accept the job you won't be able to perform decently? Fuck you.

No. 415518

*harsh foreign accent, sorry.

No. 415522

I once had a professor from Africa (don't know which country exactly) who couldn't even speak normal german well try to lecture us in medieval german. Needless to say you couldn't understand one thing.
Why do you hire somebody like that? How did that guy qualify and why did he think it's a good idea to study that in the first place?
I also wouldn't do mandarin for 1 year and then decide "Hey, why don't I try to study how people in China spoke a 1000 years ago - and then I could go to there and teach them!".

No. 415525

> I once had a professor from Africa (don't know which country exactly) who couldn't even speak normal german well try to lecture us in medieval german.

That's so infuriating and insulting. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm studying IT so I can always connect the dots myself, but to have someone incompetent lecture you a language where knowing it is essential, is so much worse.

The worst part is that you're afraid to complain because everyone has to be nice to each other at unis.

I can't imagine what kind of audacity one needs to have with that skill level and think, "Oh, I can totally teach now."

You put time, money, and energy into a course and you get this utter shit quality. I'm thinking of filing an anonymous complaint which probably won't change anything, but I'm so furious.

No. 415539

I'd imagine it would really fuck over international students. Imagine being a non-native and trying to understand a professor that's butchering the language so badly that even the native speakers are confused.

No. 415547

The international students absolutely do get fuck over.

One of my professors was some elderly man from Morocco. He spoke little to no English (which was our language of teaching in that course) and his French was also busted as hell. He would try to explain financial equations by saying "THIS is THIS", gesturing and yelling really loudly the same thing he said before when someone asked him what he means or did not understand. He wanted to be the "boss" 100% of the time and would treat the non-Moroccan female students harshly, slam their exam papers against the table and talk down to them in a very rude manner. He had typos in his slides all the time, and for our final exam he actually went around all the exam rooms, interrupting the exam, to tell us that one of the exam questions was wrong because he forgot to double-check it. Of course he didn't care if people got that wrong, he still failed half of us. He allowed blatant cheating from Moroccan students but watched the rest of us like a hawk and failed students that cheated.

When we complained to the administration they said it was not their job to assure quality of teaching and said they would look into it. Which of course they did not.

No. 415554

File: 1559065887163.jpg (24.95 KB, 403x398, caaa.JPG)

i lowkey think that my bf doesn't really care about me anymore? it's kind of a weird feeling because i used to care about it so much before, but being in a relationship for almost 6 years i dont really feel anything towards it. it kinda sucks though, since everytime i point out that he hasn't been very caring, or if i tell him that i'm sad or whatever, he just says "oh dont get upset at me" and honestly fjdsjkf im tired of it, i dont know what to tell him, and i dont have the energy or care to tell him that he needs to stop doing that. ive been sick for the past few days with a cough and cold and he doesn't even bother asking me how i'm feeling or whatever. he just goes on his phone in the morning and kind of stays like that until i say something, and then the first thing he worries about is if I'm upset at him or not. haha ok great :\\\\\\ just gonna go and drink some nyquil in the morning so i don't have to be awake to deal with this. it doesn't help that he has a phone addiction too, but is in denial and idk what to do at this point. the only time that he isn't like this is when he is around other people other than me.

No. 415556

Holy shit, I thought I had it bad.
Couldn't you all like do some joint complaint? We're talking here about blatant sexism and discrimination based on nationality.

> He had typos in his slides all the time

Yes, I forgot to add this to my initial vent as well. Sometimes the assistants and mentors manage to spellcheck first, but that's not always the case.

No. 415560

Heard my roommates shit talk me. One of them said something along the lines that I put the toilet block in and think that means I don't have to clean the toilet. Which honestly hurt me a lot lol because I always clean the whole fucking dorm when it's my turn, I've never skipped a week. Pissing me off that no matter how diligent and kind you are (I let them borrow a lot of my stuff and I'm always quiet and polite to live with), people are going to hate on you anyway. You can't fucking win.
I wish they don't live with my next year, and they get a PROPER rommate from hell. They don't know shit about how it really is living in the dorm. They're going to fucking miss me lol

No. 415562

Is that all they said, anon, or did you leave the rest out? TBH it doesn't seem personal enough for you to take seriously.

No. 415576

Very very VERY disgusting of them though, she doesn't need to take it personally, but it doesn't need to be personal because to me it is just objectively horrible.

No. 415577

they went on about the toilet, that it's dirty and she knows how it's supposed to look like when it's cleaned every week (implying I don't clean it when it's my turn), and that she thought the block cleans it too - when she was 10 (I bought the block just for more freshness, didn't even think much about it but). I don't know, it was just weirdly vicious and sounded like an occuring thing. I'm just venting. Bothers me this much because it's quite shocking hearing the hostility, I didn't really expect it I guess, I thought we are getting along fine. Especially that I really help them out. And I 100% clean everything shipshapely lol.

No. 415599

Similar thing happened to me anon.

In grad school this landlord advertised a room for rent midway into the year, and I needed my own place for the spring semester. What I didn't know was that he was sticking me into a place with two undergrad boys, who low key were pissed off at the situation as they wanted to move their own friend into my room but couldn't do it because they'd given the landlord grief.
They already had it out for me and were looking for ways to drive me out.

We got along at first. I cleaned and cooked group meals a lot. Consistently. They would clean every now and then but very shoddily at that.
As the semester progressed I got busier or just more tired so my presence cleaning and cooking started to diminish. The boys got extremely entitled and bitchy like a flip of a switch.
They argued because I didn't have as many classes as them, and had mentioned that my classes were easy, that I should pick up their slack and I had no excuse.
I was actually very overwhelmed with the school work plus my own part time job.

They were very messy boys, and would often get high and binge on food and leave a sink full of dishes for someone like me to clean.
I was overweight at the time but had a stomach hernia that caused me to be unable to eat normal amounts of food. Most days I could only have jello or applesauce. The boys would have their munchie binge and fill up the sink. Then if they found one of my water glasses or my jello spoons, they'd try to gaslight me into doing ALL of them. Accused me of having some amount of dishes in their pile therefore I should just do them. Fatty=make more dirty dishes, nice logic. Except they were cunts and had no clue about the medical shit I was going through to realize that their lies wouldn't work on me.
When I refused to do what was rightfully their work they'd bully me, and it was always two against one.
They hated me by the end of the lease because I refused to be their maid.

I was so torn between just wanting to let shit go in the communal areas like the bathroom and kitchen, but then I wouldn't have had a nice and clean bathroom and kitchen.
What I hate most is how I go out of my way to keep up standards and contribute meaningfully in the domicile, but the second I have a bad week or two the slobs who don't do shit become affronted. Isn't it funny how the people who never do shit are always the first to notice?

No. 415617

damn, what shitstains. Cleaning and cooking aside… I would hate to live with men. Not that girls are any better as roommates - I've had only one decent girl-roommate in 4 years span - but living with men would make me so uncomfortable mentally, idk.

I wish I could finally live on my own. I'm the laziest person when it comes to working, but I seriously can't wait to graduate and get a proper job so I can afford to rent some tiny studio and don't deal with people

No. 415623

Anyone here have crippling OCD?

I’ve been thinking of killing myself.

No. 415624

hey anon i'm in the same situation at the moment. I hope you come back to report on how things go for you. I know I'm only one anon, but I do care and I hope things get better for you.

No. 415625

i do have it. please talk to your therapist or talk to some close friends and don't do anything dangerous. i understand how much it fucks with your head in your vulnerable moments. it gets better.

No. 415669

I’ve been doing cocaine regularly for the past six months and I feel like such a fucking dumbass. In addition to it just making me more depressed, it also fucked up my nose. Inb4 “Well, what did you expect?” It’s obvious but you don’t know how bad it is till you experience it. It’s slowly healing now but goddamn did it kill my desire to do coke for awhile. Thankfully, I don’t think any severe long term damage was done but still.

No. 415672

I'm so tired of not accomplishing anything at all
The only thing I do is stuff people tell me to do, like if I've agreed to work a shift pattern I'll be there and I'll do it. If someone that doesn't know me too well asks for anything, I've got it covered, but I can't do anything for myself. I forgot to get my adhd prescription refilled a month ago and still haven't fixed that, I've been trying to save up for dental treatment for over a year but I'm still in the same amount of debt, I live in a pile of trash, I abandoned my hobbies years already and I don't even want to see my friends anymore because there are so many things I need to catch up on. When I have a day to myself, nothing gets done
I'm not a neet, so I can't just take a mental health break and be proud of baby steps. I can't even pretend that killing myself would be a way out because I wouldn't leave my family with that kind of stuff to deal with.
There's no way out and my life is less meaningful than an insect at this point. I know not everyone can live a successful life, but I'm just sick of myself. Years keep passing but I can't get anything to change.

No. 415673

Light vent but I've been trying to clean my rabbits' cages all day but I'm having such bad allergic reactions that I haven't been able to even get through half of them. I feel really guilty because they really need their litterboxes changed but I can't breathe. Petting and holding them I feel perfectly fine but when I shake out the fur from the lining of their cages that what really triggers my allergies. Anyone know why?

No. 415684

I must be retarded. I'm way happier and function better sober but my dumb monkey brain keeps wanting to go back to drinking vodka every night until I pass out. I only drink for social events now and even then I try to rationalize any excuse I can to completely overdo it.

No. 415685

I drifted away from my high school friends pretty much as soon as we graduated, which is fine because in reality I forced myself to act a certain way for them to like me, and when I stopped that a few months before graduation they quickly lost interest in me. Which is fine, whatever.
It just feels weird when I see them on facebook or instagram, 5 years later, sharing 'memories' of pictures of trips we went on together but only pictures I'm not in. Or talking about how close the three of them are.
I have so many friends from childhood and from Uni that I love and who love me for who I unapologedly am right now, I feel pretty dumb feeling like this about a handful of people who didn't have that much impact in my life. Caring too much about what others think of me is quite a problem for me I guess, I mean obviously my HS friends have talked about me behind my back and I shouldn't care but if I'm not careful I feel I'll end up obsessing over it lol.

No. 415690

Never be a student in Morocco, gotcha.

No. 415698

Are you sure you're not actually allergic to the litter or bedding?

No. 415702


>Very very VERY disgusting

>Objectively horrible
>I thought we were getting along fine
>No matter how kind you are people are going to hate on you anyway

Definitely not that deep lmao. What your roommate said means nothing, are you being serious right now?

No. 415709

Have you tried wearing a dust mask from a DIY shop?

No. 415720

Now I seriously regret sending some pics to somebody. Wasn't nude and there wasn't anything identifying but still… at the time they seemed like a good person but you know how evil scrotes can be

No. 415727

I’ve been thinking a lot about my late grandmother these past few weeks.

I turned 24 on the 19th and I had a dream that she was talking to me but I can’t remember what she said.

I don’t have any friends and most of my family are crazy or we are estranged due to divorce and lifestyle differences, so it’s just me and my grandfather. My grandmother was my best friend.

This time of the year is hard for me as she died on June 6th and there’s always an air of sadness to normally what should be a happy time.

At night I think about her and I look up at the stars and I hope she found peace, if there’s such a thing. Her breast cancer had returned and spread all over her upper abdomen, and she died being able to barely breathe from the tumors on her throat and chest.

I wasn’t there the night she died as I couldn’t deal with seeing her suffocating. I spend most of my time with her anyway cooking and being moral support before she died and was taken into hospice.

I don’t like to think about it but I realize that my life is pretty empty without her. I don’t speak to my dad because of how he treated my mom and I, my aunt is crazy, my cousin who was basically my sibling is an alcoholic loser, and I have never been close to my grandparents on my father’s side, his sister, or their three kids. My little cousin on my dad’s side was one of the kids shot at North Park Elementary, and I thought about reaching out to them when I found out but decided not to as there’s so much bad blood between us.

My grandmother was my only friend. We would talk for hours. She understood me like very few people ever really do. I never had to explain myself or apologize to her, she just loved me for who I was. I could cry to her and be angry about my shitty dad and she never judged me like everyone else in the family did. She made life a little bit more bearable. She was my moral support and someone I could always go to when I was frustrated and everyone blew off my concerns/issues as attention seeking or being too sensitive.

I feel like I’ve lost my way in life without her. I don’t know if I am doing the right thing with my life, my education, or my career. I’ve been wondering what she would say to me now if I told her all the things that I’ve gone through since she’s died? I don’t really talk about my emotions with anyone else because even with my mom, people dismiss it all as exaggeration or not a big deal.

I wish I could talk to her and ask her what I should do. I’m so conflicted about my life and I have had to do a lot on my own without a lot of support behind me. I know I’m a lot stronger as a person but I also feel like that has come at the expense of something else. I’m afraid I am missing out on opportunity, but I’m often at a loss as to how to find it.

Sorry for the sad posting.

No. 415728


Oops, I meant to say me, my mom, AND my grandfather. Not sure how that got left out. Sorry!

No. 415734

File: 1559099690184.png (133.45 KB, 500x551, dumb-bitch-juice-me-yum-411811…)

how come I fall asleep as soon as I get on a bus, no matter how cramped or hot or smelly or painful seats, but when I'm laying in a nice, comfy bed but it's slightly too warm I can toss and turn into the next year huh

No. 415738

Yes. Unironically meds helped ease the symptoms. After a few years medicated and generally no therapy at all I have managed to barely show signs of OCD. I wash my hands normally, I stopped counting everything in eights etc. I hate using meds as a crutch but they really are a gift. When I have stopped taking them my symptoms eventually return. I don't know if you've ever tried anything like that but for me they worked. Just something to think about before you an hero.

No. 415741

You are probably allergic to the proteins in their urine. If you wear a mask like the other anon suggested it might help. Or take some allergy meds on the days you know you'll be cleaning the cages.

No. 415748

This guy is kind of driving me a bit nuts because I can’t help but read into of his words and actions. We have had a bit of an odd friendship in that I sense that he’s always felt this sort of empathy toward me when I feel down. I also was emotionally supportive towards him when he was going through a rough break up years ago. However, we don’t really hang out or anything like that and I only see him around campus once in a while. The first thing that kind of caught me off-guard was that two years ago or so, he told me that he was thinking of me when he was tripping for some reason. I thought that was a bit flattering and strange. Whenever we talk, he always has fairly prolonged eye contact with me and our conversations feel very awkward afterwards. There’s more than just that but it’s just a bunch of smaller things. I just don’t know if there are any feelings from him for me beyond just friendship. I don’t know if we’d be a good fit anyways since he seems to hang out with a wild crowd and his ex seemed like a complete Stacey but I can’t help but wonder.

No. 415753

I'm sorry, anon. You sound like you really love your grandma. The thing to remember is that you guys obviously shared a lot of love and were there for each other, and really, being that we can only do so much for cancer, at least she's no longer suffering.

I know what it's like to not have family/estranged family, and it is very isolating. It's especially tough dealing with loved ones when your family is so small, and it is obviously feeling lost without them and knowing your life still has to go on without them when they are/were such a huge part of your life.

Maybe you should look into seeing a therapist? I know it's no consolation or anything close to a grandma that loves you and listens, but other than friends, honestly, when you have a family that is dismissive, you have to be very careful with the emotional energy you expend and a therapist isn't as likely to potentially break you down in moments of vulnerability.

No. 415766


Actually did another cage after I posted this after taking a breather and I was interacting with my rabbit perfectly fine, petting her and cleaning her cage and my breathing was normal. As soon as I picked up some hay though is when I started coughing and sneezing so I think I'm allergic to the hay rather than my bunnies. Glad that they themselves don't make me sick but it kinda still sucks seeing as though the hay is a main staple of their diet and the dust gets everywhere.

No. 415767

Today my boyfriend found a note in the lift in our apartment complex and told me to go look at it. It was a nice and politely written request by an anon on the 4th floor. 4th floor anon has a neurological condition that can make their face go into spasms and a trigger is weed and cigarette smoke. They ask that whoever is living on the 3rd floor below them please take that into consideration and instead smoke outside (weed is legal to smoke, possess and grow in our country). We live on the 5th floor and are weed smokers. My boyfriend much more than me (I smoke once or twice a week while he smokes every second day or so) and he insists on smoking in the apartment. I told him its not impossible that the smoke reaches 4th floor anons apartment as he smokes next to an open window and that we should stop smoking inside. He rages that he doesn't want to go outside to smoke because its inconvenient, why is anons problem his problem and why don't they just close their windows? To which I told him that its fucking unreasonable to expect someone to close their windows 24/7 in the chance that some idiot is going to smoke in the non-smoking complex. Which is probably why anon chose the complex in the first place, we are technically not allowed to smoke in our apartment. "Why I make any effort when anon is making no effort to help themselves?"

Why are men so fucking stupid and inconsiderate?? 4th floor anon is suffering from painful spasms because him or another tenant can't make the effort to go downstairs and just smoke outside! They have no fucking empathy and think the world revolves around their fee fees. I told him I'm not coddling him and his being a dick and told him to get over himself but he hasn't responded so I guess he'll brood over it today and I'll know what he's decided when he gets home from work. The thing that bothers me most is that he refers to 4th floor anon as "she" even though they didn't leave any indication of what sex they are. Probably his subconscious of "nagging unreasonable women" coming into play. I hope its not that but rather that I myself was tested for a bunch of neurological stuff last week so that's where he makes the correlation but somehow I doubt it. I'm so pissed off.

No. 415768

I feel like I got proper closure from two people I previously dated. The most recent one was more of a fling with a coworker but I moved overseas and never really got a straight answer about how he felt. The one before that was my long term 5 year boyfriend. He was still upset despite being the one who didn't want to try for the last few years. I feel like I have peace of mind.

Also shit its cold here. Need to buy a space heater.

No. 415774

stoners are the fucking worst.

No. 415792

There are people like your bf all around us, I really appreciate your attitude and empathy for the anon. Your outrage for that person actually made me feel a bit better today. I wish people would think about others more, and not treat the smallest efforts to make someone life better/easier like some malicious attack on their personal freedom. And often, when asked nicely, instead of just changing their behaviour people get spiteful and act badly on purpose. Like I get it, no one likes being told off… but I wish people would get past it and be more polite to each other

No. 415817

Last night I was distressed and looked through my late mother’s belongings. Before they found her cancer, she was tested for tumor markers. In the slip I found they were fine. The same ones I got tested a month ago and results came that mine are raised. I looked through her little prayer book, her name was written on it.
Then I found something she wrote down about me to ask about insurance. I spiraled down into hell. I remember how much we shared and how much she loved me. I felt like screaming from the pain. I washed the dishes while sobbing and went to bed.

Then I had a dream about her.
The entire night I was waking up every half an hour and started dreaming my alarm finally woke me up. It continued by my dad calling me to check if I got up for medical tests. Then I saw her dead body. It was laid across my old bed and I was looking at her as I paced while talking to my dad. He dragged the conversation on, but her body started moving. I told him I need to go because my mother’s dead body was starting to come back to life.
And some force was moving her. She regained her looks from her younger days and her limbs started to expand. She took entire corner of the room from the floor to the ceiling with her spider like limbs on which she moved to the melody of Lavender Town. She knew I was scared of that melody. She’d make facial expression like Khali a few times, eyes wide and tongue out. She was getting ready to attack me, but when she did, I woke up.

When she died I had more horrible dream of her attacking me and me escaping. I don’t know why this is happening.

No. 415822

I'm so sorry, anon. That is a very distressing dream. At worst, it's probably just your worry about "her" cancer "getting" you, too. I wouldn't put too much stock into it, just take care of yourself and be vigilant about your health. I'm so sorry about your mom.

No. 415849

Are you NL?

No. 415856

File: 1559136507562.jpg (531.61 KB, 1222x2254, 20190529_092154.jpg)

>Tfw my husband is a narcissist

I'm just getting tired of him honestly. I shared with him feelings about my eating disorder(which I don't have now I'm at a healthy weight) and he tells me "you should study something to put more purpose in your life. You're worried about something only kids think about" which isnt wrong but I felt that was insensitive to say to someone opening up to you. Then I asked him "well, what if you were depressed and I told you to just study to make it better, how would you feel?"…he took this as me comparing our university experience and claimed that I cant say that to him because hes already been to university and he went into s narc rage over it.

No. 415857

If you think that he's being an asshole(and he is) then quit rewarding and reinforcing his asshole behavior with sex.

No. 415859

You've definitely posted screenshots of your husband verbally abusing you before… girl, leave, he is clearly a shithead who thinks you're not good enough for him because you dare to have your own thoughts/feelings/questions and don't just do everything he says with blind Faith.

No. 415860

How old is this guy? He sounds emotionally retarded. My condolences.

No. 415861

The one in blue is him saying “study and do something with your life” right? He types like a dyslexic child having a seizure. You both are disrespectful to one another, mainly on his part but also if you think your husband is an asshole and say so to him that’s not indicative of a good or healthy relationship. If he’s right that you’re not doing anything with your life though then he’s correct, you need to be busy and have goals and purpose to be mentally healthy otherwise you will preoccupy yourself and try to get satisfaction via other dumb shit like an ED.

No. 415864

Well right now he and I are on the same level career wise despite him having a degree. We both have full time office jobs where we make 15$ an hour. I have money saved. I mean I'm not doing anything amazing but he always acts like I'm some jobless neet or something.

No. 415870

I'd also like to add since this is a vent thread. I get sick of him going on and on everyday about how I'm not doing anything with my life etc even though at my last job I worked hard every month to get a bonus and I just recently got a new job. i'm not perfect but im trying. He always throws his degree in my face and complains that he cant have educated conversations with me about academics despite the fact with his friends all he talks about is memes and videogames. His friends type like they're drunk 12 year olds but hes constantly correcting my grammar and spelling. He expects me to have the confidence to study and go to university while he talks down to me everyday.

No. 415871

Hes 27

No. 415874

Damn, that's pathetic. I thought he was like, 21-22. How long have you been married? He sounds so full of himself. He can't even drop the elitist bullshit for your wellbeing. Very toxic person to be around. He will only stifle you. You're not doing anything wrong. You have a job and support yourself. He just wants to shove his degree in your face and make you feel like shit. He sounds like a really basic person that places way too much importance on the "prestige" of university despite it doing fuckall for him apparently.

No. 415875

We have been married for two years now. A few weeks ago he was upset about something at work and i tried to be supportive and say "well, I'm a shy person too and I just accept this is apart of my personality' then he snaps at me "well yeah of course you feel that way because you plan on just leaching off some man your entire life". He just pretty much sees me as some lazy woman whose goal is just to leech idd a man and pop out babies because I dont have a degree. I've already told him I dont even want kids.

No. 415877

Leech off a man

No. 415879

File: 1559139553933.jpg (584.88 KB, 1715x2560, 91LBqiD46nL.jpg)

Sounds like textbook abusive behavior to me. I know this book has been shilled here for a long time, but I finally started reading it and holy shit. It makes everything so clear. You should really pick it up or find a pdf and see if your husband matches any other signs/behaviors.

No. 415880

You're not a jobless NEET, and I'm sure he didn't mean to imply that you were. But if you're not at all satisfied with $15 an hour he's right that you should start working on a plan to do something else instead. Though to me it doesn't seem as if ennui is the issue. At least not when it comes to career goals.

No. 415881

Holy fuck you need to bail. He's teetering on MRA territory with this mentality and it's really dangerous to be around, emotionally and mentally, but also possibly physically. He clearly resents you for reasons he's making up himself. He obviously has vested interest in thinking little of you and is trying to convince himself that you're lazy and this and that for whatever reason. He sounds insecure and pathetic, and not in a cute way.

No. 415883

Anon, why are you married to this shithead..

No. 415885

File: 1559140517239.jpg (573.46 KB, 1277x2259, Screenshot_20190529-103350_Dis…)

Part of me doesnt really even know most of the time if my problems with him are legitimate or if I'm just being dramatic

I'd like to be making more than 15 an hour one day but im just building experience right now
I was one of the stupid people who met a "tfw no gf" type and felt bad for him and truly believed he was just lonely. But now he just proceeds to act better than me all the time and complain about how he wishes he had a wife whose parents werent divorced etc. Another red flag is he used to go on r9k back in the day and has women hate memes saved.
If anything my life should be a warning for anyone to never give "depressed tfw no gf bois" a chance.

No. 415887

He sounds like he still goes on r9k. Are you guys American? You're not the anon with the terrible Indian husband are you? Please leave if you can. He's awful and honestly so dangerous. Who was he speaking to here?

No. 415888

>being married to someone who belittles you and calls you a leech despite you working and gaining the same amount of money he does
He's a worthless asshole, and staying with him will only make you look pathetic and him think that he deserves your time.
He should go suck off his friends over their intellectual, graduate-only memes and video games.

No. 415890

He's obviously pissy she skipped the student loan debt only to make the same amount of money as he is, KEK. I hope he loses his job once anon leaves (if she leaves). He's a worthless sack of shit. Honestly sounds like he's pressing the school issue so she'll sabotage herself/so he won't be alone in the "my degree did fuckall for me" camp.

No. 415891

>I'd like to be making more than 15 an hour one day but im just building experience right now
Then yeah you'll probably need a plan, Jan. As cheesy as it sounds it really does help to visualize where you want to be in a decade and then work backwards from there. For example, in your shoes, I'd start by imagining I was with someone else.

No. 415892

He's clearly toxic and retarded, but I don't think you're actually married IRL to this guy. The story you are telling outside of the screenshots doesn't match up. First of all, why is it always discord? You've posted before and it's never text or anything else. The way he talks to you also comes off like you guys aren't actually in a relationship yet, like you're just two people who know each other online and talk often, possibly LDR.

No. 415893

If it's a non-smoking complex they could have just reported you to the property manager and gotten you kicked out. Leaving a note was really nice of them. I can smell cigarette smoke in my bathroom from the upstairs neighbor even with all the windows closed, so it very well could be you guys. Thanks for being considerate, maybe the threat of losing your place could get your bf to smoke outside.

No. 415894

If this is the same anon she used to say they'd talk on discord while they were at work.

No. 415895

I talk to my IRL BF and friends on Discord. Wtf anon, it's just like using Skype or WhatsApp.

No. 415897

We are married in real life. The whole relationship really is just a cluster fuck so I'll just explain from the beginning. We have a June and Greg kind of situation, he lives in Canada and I live in America. We are legally married but we dont live together and we message each other on discord because we cant text because it would cost him money to text someone out of the country. The plan was to save up enough money for me to move there but now I'm having second thoughts.For a long time his parents didnt even know we were married because they hate me because my parents are divorced and I dont have a degree. He cant even mention me around his mother because she has a narc breakdown and claims hes killing her(I definitely understand where he gets it from).I ended up being fed up and told them about the marriage, he probably resents me even more now since I told them. But yeah I'm 100% to blame for getting myself into this situation and I deserve everything bad happening to me now. I just wanted to vent.

No. 415899

You don't deserve abuse, anon.

No. 415900

No, it isn't 100% your fault and there's no rationalizing the abuse you're going through. Please get the fuck away from him, get divorced (it should be pretty easy considering you guys don't have anything together), and just count yourself lucky you had a Shoe and Greg situation, it'll make it a fuckton easier to escape. You're not making it up or being dramatic. He's an abusive piece of shit.

No. 415902

Please don't be afraid of leaving him. You can absolutely do better. What's worse than being in a shitass relationship for two years is being in one for two years and a day.

No. 415903

>I'm 100% to blame for getting myself into this situation and I deserve everything bad happening to me now.

Fuck off, you absolute victim. Take some control over your life. Your "husband" has made some good points in his childish tirade but the ball is in your court. You don't live together, you are in separate countries. Your communication consists of retarded arguments on Discord. Your marriage is about as existent as a eunuch's left testicle, and that should be a major consolation to you considering your situation. The fact that he is in another country makes divorce a little more complex but that's not a big deal. You don't have combined assets. Things aren't in both your names.

Do you want to keep coming to this thread to complain about your autistic fake husband? Do you want to actually live with this guy (he lives with his parents now so you are going to have to do everything for him) catering to his every whim after working the same shift? And if you don't please him he'll call you a lazy, uneducated, leaching whore?

Imagine your future. It's this guy getting to sit in his chair, fart, and play video games endlessly while you do every chore in your house on your own and never get thanked for it.

No. 415904

As other anons said, the abuse is not at all your fault. I’d look at the silver lining of this otherwise shitfest situation - you don’t live together, you don’t even live in the same country. Surround yourself with friends and family, cut off as much contact as you can with him and start filing for divorce ASAP, this duration while absolutely fucking awful can be relatively easily fixed if you’re willing to listen to everyone (including yourself most likely) telling you that you need to leave. I know it’s hard to leave abusers but know that once you just start the process a huge burden will be lifted

Good luck to you

No. 415906

I have bipolar disorder, BPD, and a 17 month old baby. I'm really struggling not to let this depressive episode take me over, so I keep comfort-eating, which is triggering an identity crisis, which is paralysing me and making me really short-tempered, which is making me a shitty mum, which is making me depressed. Someone pls help. I love my daughter so much and I hate being like this. Seems like the further I get into motherhood the harder it gets

No. 415907

Yeah, great idea to pull this rude, "tough love" bullshit on a girl that is being and has been emotionally and mentally abused for the past two years. Poor execution on your part. That doesn't typically encourage victims of abuse to leave. You just make them feel ashamed.

No. 415908

Well it is my fault because I lack the self respect to leave. Really it all comes down to loneliness. I dont have any family, no friends and hes pretty much the only one I talk to. We see each other in real life like once or twice a week because we dont leave far and when we do see each other we are arguing about something dumb(like I forgot to press clear after using the microwave and he feels that was irresponsible). So at this point I realize that yes I will be completely alone once I leave but all we do is argue anyway so it's not like it will change anything because we dont even talk about anything other than him because he gets triggered if he sees me happy about anything other than his interests like computer and video games…

No. 415910

Where do you live anon? The vast majority of first world countries have many services in place to help struggling mothers without judgement, I would look into what is in your immediate area. Help is just a phonecall away quite often. I’d also set up an appointment with your GP immediately and tell them exactly how you’re feeling so that they can further refer you to people who can help

No. 415911


>3 kids

>20 weeks pregnant
>can't afford to replace a cooker
>lives in UK where contraception and abortion are both free
>now starving herself whilst pregnant to keep kids fed

Why are some women like this? Just stop pumping out children you can't afford to raise ffs.

No. 415912

That's tough, when you don't have family. I understand that definitely makes things more difficult. If you have a hard time going no contact at first and taking the steps to divorce him, maybe start branching out and speaking to and flirting with other guys, try making friends, etc, just so you get a feel again for a life without him (which is undoubtedly preferable). There are countless men that would treat you better than this and that are just better people.

No. 415913

Ikr I see it all around me and everyone feels "sooo bad" for them. Like, I'm sorry, 90% of people shouldn't be having kids anyways, let alone these fucking messes. The reason why we have these toolbags is because people aren't realistic and just indiscriminately congratulate everyone, regardless of circumstance, about their pregnancy.

No. 415914

I live in the UK, but I've been discharged from the mental health services in my area and there is never a consistent GP at my registered practice, which puts me off talking to them - I never know what sort of response I'll get. I'm scared of being put back on medication, I guess. But you're right, I probably should tell someone professional.

No. 415915

Again, being alone is better than being with a person that treats you like garbage. Though little secret, anon, that you even try so hard to please despite how wretched he is shows you're absolutely not garbage. Rather, the sort of caring, generous person that a lot of girls out there would kill to be best friends with.

No. 415917

Does the majority of this website just froth at the mouth when it comes to mothers and children

No. 415918

No, I just don't feel bad for people who create their own problems and cause children to suffer for no reason. There's no reason why someone without the means, either mentally, financially or emotionally, should be having kids. I grew up in a severely abusive household and I have no sympathy for people who create their own problems by having kids when not equipped to care for them in any way. Too many people have kids for attention and Kodak moments, and the children are the ones that ultimately suffer.

No. 415919

I'm the OP anon that anon is replying to, and I'm a mother with a child. Not sure how it's frothing at the mouth to point out that not having kids is a lot easier than having them.

No. 415922

I don’t live in the UK so I can vouch for the effectiveness for your services but a quick google has helped me compile a bit of a list for you. I know it’s difficult to seek help for yourself quite often, especially when maternal guilt is in the picture. But please seek help - you’re not a bad mother and the best thing you can do for your child is get professional help for yourself if you’re in distress




No. 415931

I get the impression that people like this have kids because they're miserable and think having kids will give them purpose and someone to unconditionally love and unconditionally love them back. It's like telling poor people to "just stop wasting money on alcohol" which they obviously should but they're probably not going to because it's their coping mechanism for their shit life.

No. 415932

Yeah, but having kids is different because you're bringing innocent children into the world to suffer as a result of your poor life choices.

No. 415933

TBH I don't think it's this deep. A lot of people just don't have much of a 'purpose' or goal in life beyond having kids. People be bored.

No. 415937

>unconditional love
I know a woman who worked at a home for "difficult" girls and so many wanted to get pregnant because of that exact reason. They were never loved, never had a really family, so they believe that having a baby will give them this.

But for "normal" ones the reason is simply lazyness. My mom works at a primary school and the level of unemployed or single parents has risen drastically the last couple years. In Germany you can finish school at just 15, so if they lack education/grow up in a family with no support, they maybe work for a very short period of time (or not at all), decide that working is a pain in the ass, get pregnant and then spend the rest of their lives "being busy taking care of the children" - when in reality their kids are completely neglected. Welfare in Germany is so good, they can just sit at home all day long, watch tv, get fat, don't give a fuck about how their kids are doing at school and they still won't face any consequences, never.
And their children will grow up to be exactly the same. Rinse and repeat. They don't have a chance of breaking that circle.

No. 415946

I feel like such a weirdo because I dont like playing video games. The only game i ever really liked was the sims, everything else just gives me a headache and I dont even like the sims 4 that much now because ea pretty much fucked it beyond repair. I really wish i could enjoy video games because it seems like everyone I know loves them…

No. 415947

What about games kinda like the Sims? Like more relaxing ones like Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon, Stardew Valley etc.

Tbh it's not really a big deal, you're probably way more productive. Games are fun but ultimately a waste of time.

No. 415950

I dropped $300 on a switch and three games and barely fucking play them. I used to enjoy games as a way to pass time but nowadays it's just… I don't know, I'm just not all that interested in them.

No. 415952

It's not weird. Most people grow out of them unless they do it for a living. It gets old when you've practically played everything.

No. 415962

>call a hotline to vent
>never say i'm going to kill myself or hurt myself, just ranting about ptsd stuff and how it makes me feel so i don't have to bother my friends and family with it
>a fucking squad of policemen and firemen and EMTs storm my house
>the bitch tracked me??? ok cool
>get sent to the local psych ER, which is notoriously underfunded and understaffed
>my sane ass is stuck in a mixed-gender waiting room of actually crazy people for 48 hours
>people pissing themselves, people trying to fight me, woman who might have schiz accuses me of stealing her identity and dogs me the whole time, creepy old man follows me wherever i go and does dances (it sounds funny because it kind of is but it's fucking scary in action)
>i can't leave, they took me in a police car
>took 13 hours to even see a doctor for the first time
>nowhere to sleep, let alone too scared to sleep–just a bunch of hard plastic chairs

48 fucking hours, i didn't want to kill myself before but i do now haha

No. 415965

I'm starting to feel that way too, I'm glad I didn't spend money on a Switch or a PS4 yet because even though there are games I want on both consoles I don't think I'll be able to get back into video games the way I used to be before college. The lack of free time prevented me from playing video games and because of it I have a bunch of unfinished games I'm not even sure I'll beat on the 3DS or the PSVita. It's frustrating. Are there games on the Switch you're still looking forward to? If not you should sell the Switch and your games to someone and move on to other hobbies.

No. 415966

I don't know your situation but I found having other mothers to talk to very helpful. Look at what's available in your local area. I joined a community playgroup and volunteered to help for a few hours a week. The other mothers welcomed me and have been there to offer support and advice if I needed it. It's been reassuring to know that I'm not the only one that struggles sometimes. Don't worry about being judged, there's lots of women with different circumstance and we all rally round each other.

I do get depressed when I think about the enormity of what I've done. Having a child was my choice and I do love being a mum but sometimes when I think about how my life used to be and how I can never go back to that I feel a bit sad about it. That's normal and doesn't mean I don't love my daughter. The best thing you can do when you feel like this is pick yourself up again. Therapy like CBT will teach you techniques on how you can do this. Exercise will help as well, there should be local fitness meetings for mothers where they do things like yoga and pilates.

If you like the Sims, try the other Maxis games like SimCity. I've spent years of my life playing older versions of that. There's still an active modding community for SimCity 4 and it can be bought on GOG or Steam for a few dollars.

No. 415969

don't feel weird, anon! i'm the same, HUGE longtime sims fan (been a fan for 12 years), my favorite games are literally The Sims and Stardew Valley. i've played other games, some were fun (i loved the Mass Effect trilogy and the classic indie jrpgs like Mad Father/Misao types), some were headaches, but I also feel weird bc i hate competitive games or games that are a task or a chore bc of their difficulty (Cuphead, Dark Souls, Sekiiro, etc.). video games are supposed to be fun, and everyone has fun in different ways, so as long as you like it and enjoy it then there's NOTHING wrong or weird about that. don't listen to scrots or pick-me bitches who go on and on about how "filthy casuals" aren't rEaL gAmErS, video games are for fun, not for stroking your ego.

No. 415977

I really, really want Animal Crossing for the switch lol. Animal Crossing alone will make my expensive Switch worth it. If Nintendo comes out with a special edition switch for AC, I wanna try to sell my switch so I can buy it lol (but I probably won't because I don't like the hassle of selling shit). I know when AC drops I'll probably dedicate a fuck ton of time to it, I just finish another bout where I was obsessively playing Pocket Camp. Also, maybe Pokemon sword/shield. I got Lets Go Pikachu, but I stopped playing it. I didn't like the emphasis on catching pokemon, on top of a bunch of other outside reasons, so I stopped playing it.

Also, I just fucking suck at games. The first game I got was BOTW and I just stopped playing it because I was so frustrated at how much I suck. I like the open worldness of it all, but I hate battling monsters. To activate a tower, I meticulously spent a fuck ton of time climbing up the side of the mountain just so I could avoid fighting. I wanted to buy a PS4 to play Nier:Automata, but ultimately decided against it.

A lot of my friends play games, and brought their systems up to college with them, so I had a lot of fun playing on their systems (Before I bought my switch, I didn't have anything besides a PS1, PS2, Nintento 64, and 3DS, so I missed out on playing a lot of big name games that came out on newer systems). I thought I'd still have fun playing post college, but I just forget that I even have a Switch most days. I see all my friends enjoying Persona 5, and Smash, and KH3, and it sucks to feel left out of all that but games aren't really that fun to me most times.

No. 415987

File: 1559159671648.gif (973.62 KB, 245x137, tumblr_inline_n3jla9XYz51rro7a…)

So a while I ago I vented about my friend and me about going together to a concert that I was excited about. My friend then suddenly decided to invet her new bf to come with for whatever reason (mostly because he has a car and ugh he can drive us I guess). >>404364

Already back then I feared about being a third wheel situation, because I actually planned this as a nice and chill evening with my concert buddy and good friend to hang out, catch up on things and just have a good time to enjoy a great show. So two weeks after I bought our two tickets she wrote me about that she bought his ticket and what made me feel not so great about this whole thing was the fact that before that (when I bought our two tickets) she wrote me a message that was like "oh, this will be fun!" but when she announced that she got a ticket for her boyfriend she wrote me a message how "absolutely EXCITED she was that he comes with us and that it will be SO MUCH FUN with him now wohoo!" I didn't answered this because I didn't know how to react about it because, he was def more interesting to be around than with me obviously.

So yesterday was the day.

And things were so much worse than I've actually imagined. Not to sound too overdramatic but it left me still angry and annoyed about everything, specially about her and her bf.

And before I will REEEEE about everything I want to say that I tried to be as open minded as possible, because he is the bf of her and of course I wanted to get along as good as possible, not being bff but just hang around and have a good time together.

So, they arrived in his small ass car. With all her talk from her I could've guessed that he owns at least a BMW or something like that but nope it was a tiny car where you have to weasel your way into it so you can sit on the tiny ass back seat. I introduce myself etc etc.

I sit there, behind my friend try to ask her how it things are and if she is excited but I barely got an answer out of her because even when i just sat there, he already ignored everything and talked with her if I never entered the car. Then my friend wanted to know from me how my apartment hunting is going, then again I wanted to give her a short answer but as I just opened my mouth he starts to talk with her again. I was like ?????? okeeyyy? And while that he already had some loud ass music playing so that made everything even more frustrating. I thought, well I will then just sit here and see how things will be going. He suddenly turned the music low enough to have a talk, but only with my friend and in the moment they finished to talk, he turned the music loud enough that you couldn't understand a word if somebody said something. This repeated a bit over the one hour drive to the concert venue. In the meantime he asked me like something twice but whenever I answered he wasn't listening or talked to my friend A G A I N. By the end of the drive I was already very, VERY annoyed by it but I thought, we will be shorty there so whatever.

We arrive and it was basically me just walking behind them like I've never met them before, specially my friend who was glued to him every possible moment. When he wasn't around for a few seconds, she tried to have a small talk but as soon he was there, bam, me on the side and just both of them. By then I barely said anything, because it was just such a stupid situation and frustrating to be in which made me felt genuinely unwanted to be with them, as if it was better if it was just them and nobody else. He looked specially funny at me when my friend said that it was my idea to be there, like yes hello it's me.

Then, like before every concert my friend have a bit of beer. I would've assumed that only both of us because he is the driver but NOPE he also got his alcoholic drinks. At this point I got kind of worried that I make it save back home. Like how the fuck can you drink ALCOHOL when you have to drive this long road back?? But my friend was okey with it.

So the whole time before the show I have given up to have some sort of conversation with them, I just somewhere on the side with a better view on the stage and just waited to start it and leave them cuddling in the middle of the rock concert.

The show itself was absolute perfection, great live music, great songs and just everybody having fun. I had finally the good time I was hoping to have, even just on my own but whatever. I lived for the moment.
But one thing made me really sad that usually my said friend and I have a blast on shows like that, just jumping around being stupid and enjoying the music. But this time she was standing there with her bf being glued on her, both barely moving despite being in the middle of a mosh pit.

After the show nobody barely talked, which usually is the time where everybody is hyped and just adrenalin-fuelled because of the show. No, nobody was talking, mostly because her bf didn't enjoyed that show that much so my friend had no reason to be happy about. Back in the small ass car, this dude starts to playing Rammstein out of spite because hurr hurr his fave band and let's this music on the highest volume through the whole drive back home. My ears were not ringing after the show but my ears were ringing after I got out of the car. I don't mind Rammstein at all, but it's not the type of music you let play in your shit car with your cheap ass sound system.

At the end I just gave my friend an half assed hug and said bye because I could bare it to be any longer around them.

What a fucking let down. Now I wonder if I'm just over reacting, being too emotional because I'm about to get my period or them just being super ignorant and rude.

idk I just had to get it off my chest. Sorry for that blogspot.

No. 415988

I'm crying a really bad thing has happened. I hope lc has active threads tonight I need distractions lol

No. 415996

Sounds like shit. Maybe give her space while she has her wonderful boyfriend who intruded in on your idea, and she can come be friends with you again some other time, if you want.

No. 415997

The situation you're describing happened in England too, hit its peak about 10 years ago when I left school, but then the Tories got in and cut benefits down to nothing. Now we just have these women left who seem to like self-harming via endless childbearing.

No. 415998

Thank you so much anon, for putting that effort in for me. I'll definitely check those links out.

That sounds like a great suggestion, thank you. I have terrible self-esteem when it comes to meeting new people because I struggle to maintain normal relationships, but I've done plenty of DBT now and maybe I can keep trying. I definitely relate to missing your old life, despite loving motherhood. Depression is hard enough without the added guilt.

No. 416002

If they don’t work then how are they continuously on Welfare? Surely there must be a limit or you have to work part-time? Like when the kids enter primary school it’s time to work.

No. 416015

File: 1559163928398.jpg (35.08 KB, 400x390, O1CN019gDfwX1rH8RBKerxZ_!!0-ra…)

>rarely socialize irl
>rarely socialize online
>feeling exceptionally lonely, join a social discord to try and meet someone to at least game with
>someone piques my interest
>similar hobbies, makes good conversation
>intelligent and thoughtful
>most importantly: female
>miraculously happen to be somewhat local
>start imagining all sorts of scenarios of having a friend to do things with irl
>talk lightly with friend over a period of two weeks
>out of the blue they send me a selfie
>it's a fucking man

I've given up.

No. 416019

They don't work and therefore get an apartment and money for food, clothes, etc from the state.
I thought welfare is the right word for this…?

No. 416021

I live in Germany too and I know the Jobcenter is hard on these people. They have to at least do interviews and work at some point. Unless you mean they’re getting all the Elterngeld and continuously some staying on welfare while the 1 year Elternzeit is in effect? Vielleicht verstehe ich dich falsch?

No. 416022

Hartz 4?

No. 416023

Wait…he told you he was a girl and it turned out to be a guy? The dishonesty itself is creepy as fuck. Damn anon

No. 416025

Drop your friend. People who drag others to concerts they aren't interested in/don't know are retards but more so the people who agree to go. Your friend should have known your bf wouldn't have enjoyed it either way.


Holy shit is this dude in middle school lmfao. I'd mind it if I were you.

No. 416026

Ja, genau. Lol idk I just know you can’t be on welfare here for the entirety of your life, but maybe I’m mistaken? I was wondering if you could enlighten me.

No. 416027

Where do you live near?

No. 416028

What do you mean, a tranny?

No. 416035

Nta but why does that matter?

No. 416036

Maybe if we lived near one another, we could try and be friends too down the line or am I being weird

No. 416049

All the actual adults I know with a switch only bought it for Smash, and fun as that game is to play with friends occasionally buying an entire console just for one game still seems sad to me.

No. 416053

>need ultrasound after worrying test results
>call hospital to make appointment
>"we'll call you back to schedule"
>2 months later, they still haven't
>i forget about it due to shitshow life
>find paperwork while cleaning a few weeks ago
>call again
>"we don't take appointments over the phone, you have to email the paperwork"
>do so
>wait a week
>receive confirmation, and that they'll call me
>still nothing 2 weeks later

How the FUCK do I get this appointment? I'm going back to my doctor for something unrelated in a few days and I guess I'll ask them to strong arm me an appointment or find a different hospital? Fucking hell. I hope I don't have some cancer casually metastasizing while I wait for an incompetent radiology department to give a shit.

No. 416057

I had this a few years ago. I posted on a relationship forum asking for support and got roasted by a bunch of handmaidens. One person sends me nice supportive PMs, I shortly find out it was a dude and bail from the whole site

I think women have been memed away from seeking friendship from other women due to """competition""" despite the fact men think we are all just holes of different ages and heights. It's very unfair.

No. 416058

I'm trying to find a therapist in this awful mess of a city, among millions of other people and fuck insurance and every other part of living in America. I am reaching out on PsychologyToday and it feels like job hunting, only the joke is even more on me because this time I'm getting rejections on my offer to pay someone ELSE money.

I miss having internet friends. I say that having a significantly more healthy life and relationships than I used to, and actually having people IRL I spend time with now. But I miss sitting around on a vent server all day with other NEETs like me, sleep schedule so out of whack that I'd be going to bed at 9 or 10 AM. I miss anime Twitter shitposting and living a pseudonymous internet life where I wasn't afraid to say anything because I barely existed.

I really wish I had a therapist to talk to all of this about. :^)

No. 416061

It was purported to be an all-girl (bio) Discord but wasn't voice vetted. He didn't assert otherwise but I just assumed he was a girl since he was in the discord. That's what I get for being naive.
He crossdresses but he's not a tranny (oof)
Yeah, I've found it hard to make friends even in the all-female discords. Everyone seems to be pretty shy and this was the first person I met that I "vibed" with. It's unfortunate because he was not even overtly creepy but once I found out it was a guy I also abandoned ship. I just don't get it. There's plenty of spaces for them, why can't they just leave us be? My heart can only take so much.

No. 416062

I began decluttering my possessions a few months ago and holy shit even though I've purged bags and bags of stuff I still have seemingly endless amounts of things to go through. It feels incredibly overwhelming. I never realized how much of a bad spender I was. I know I'm trying to live better now but it just seems so disheartening. I feel so ashamed of how much money I wasted. And I feel awful going through all these clothes and accessories that are unworn/barely worn and left to sit abandoned while I know some people hardly have anything. This whole process has been a wake up call that I never expected, and I'm finding it hard to deal with seeing this side of myself.

No. 416069

>There's plenty of spaces for them, why can't they just leave us be?
When it comes to fish and other smalled brained organisms there's a male dating strategy known kleptogyny or 'the Sneaky Fucker theory'; where instead of competing to show off positive traits like bravery, intelligence, fidelity, etc, they just pretend to be a female that blends in other females until they've one or more females cornered.

IE, I'm glad that you got out at least. If there's any sneaky fuckers here that want to try the same bullshit then hopefully that shamed them out of it.

No. 416077

the people in the apartment building next to mine constantly have the fucking tv on, even at night. its currently 4 in the morning and i cant sleep, because their tv is still on and its so bright that it shines through my closed curtains. i cant even ask them to turn it off because i dont know who they are.

they also sometimes leave all the light in their apartment on which is even more annoying.

No. 416080

Blackout curtains?

No. 416081

>get anxiety attack or have mood ruined whenever I hear anything about men cheating or being promiscuous
>never even been in a relationship or had sex, let alone get cheated on

No. 416083

>never been cheated on
You're living the dream.

No. 416087

I guess.
I'm sure if it ever actually happens I'll just kys myself given the way I am.
Sorry it's happened to you, anon.

No. 416088

silk sleeping mask also works. I feel fancy wearing mine.

No. 416090

Or a BDSM blindfold.

No. 416101

What do you do when your parents ended up stealing money from you?
I made a transaction using Paypal using the friends and family feature, which is true, it was a transaction between my mom and I. She wanted me to start paying for my car insurance and my part of the phone bill. No biggie, I sent her the money ASAP so she'd stop bugging me. Then a day later, she decided the money wasn't good enough and she wants to take the car and the phone away from me. So I asked for the money back and she refused, cancelled the invoice, telling me she still deserves the money.
I can't file a dispute or anything because it wasn't a business thing. Now I'm just stuck with $350 less than what I used to have and I really need it because I honestly don't think I can both afford gas and groceries for the next week.
I don't live with my parents, haven't in almost 5 years, so I had to buy a used car and phone with whatever I had left, on top of getting the car title and plates.
I'm struggling anons, I don't want to e-beg, but I feel like I might have to.

No. 416105

That's terrible, anon. That's the kind of thing that makes people never want to call for help. What happened to you is my worst nightmare and I've never called a suicide hotline because of it. Do you mind if I ask what country you are from? I hate the idea that I could call for help and get busted.

No. 416111

Your mom is really shitty. Obviously she doesn't deserve or appreciate you trusting her. Paypal won't reverse the charge, but your bank probably will if you ask them to issue a chargeback. Contact them.

No. 416117

kek that's pretty funny, though not in the way you intended.

Just think, you're set on making female friends and avoiding males. You set out to make some female friends and one woman really stands out from the rest. You say she's smart, interesting, shares your hobbies and you really click with her and love talking to her, and it turns out to be a man. That means every actual woman you encountered was some combination of either boring, stupid or too socially meek to actually engage with you.

So does this situation possibly make you wonder why you even hate men and only want women to begin with?(SCROT ALERT)

No. 416129

I've never called a suicide hotline in my life either because I'm fearful of being dragged back to a mental hospital. Haven't been to one since I was underage but in the US I'm pretty sure involuntary psychiatric hold is 72 hours and I can't goddamn think about being stuck in that type of place again. Worse yet if you're in a psych ward as an adult I believe it actually appears on record unlike when you're under 18 and it's expunged. I'd rather have a fucking mental breakdown & attempt again than ever talk to a suicide hotline hands down, as terrible as that sounds

No. 416142

D&D does not seem fun in the slightest and every guy that plays is a weirdo wannabe Casanova that seeks to shove his moldy little sausage into any warm crevice

No. 416149

If you're playing with 12 yr olds, yeah. It's really a matter of finding the right playgroup. I play a chaotic evil man-hating drow barbarian that likes shoving her silver blade into any male crevice.

No. 416150

D&D and Pathfinder are trash but more narrative systems are really fun. I used to run a FATE game and you can really tell a difference between the D&D players who just want to feel smug about crunching big numbers and the players willing to be creative and tell a collaborative story with the group.

No. 416153

Same, my 5E group is a bunch of roleplayers who care more about the story than minmaxing and sperging over numbers.

>man hating drow barbarian

I love her

No. 416154

How fun it is is a matter of opinion but you know that ProJared is not indicative of the entire DnD player base right?
In my experience most of the people who play it are fat neckbeards who want nothing to do with women.

No. 416157

It's not just ProJared.

No. 416160

Yeah there's definitely plenty of horny losers (guys AND girls) who play d&d but they are avoidable with a good group. My group had 2 annoying pretend bisexual chicks who would try to fuck every female NPC that showed up so my GM kicked them (our group was a little too big anyway). Now our games are way more enjoyable.

No. 416166

Thanks anon. Drow society is already matriarchal to an almost cartoonish level so I figure the fact that she still chose the path of a barbarian should show how committed she is to wanton violence against the lesser sex.

"I bleed once a month, but you'll be bleeding a whole lot more."

Any time a chracter tries any line on her she just rolls for initiative and rips off his dick. Problem fucking solved.

No. 416167

Yeah there's definitely plenty of horny losers (guys AND girls) who play D&D but they are avoidable with a DM. My group had 2 annoying pretend bisexual chicks who would try to fuck every female NPC that showed up so my DM kicked them (our group was a little too big anyway). Now our games are way more enjoyable.

No. 416191

why did you buy a whole car before working it out with your mom?

No. 416194

How do you know if someone is pretending their orientation. You know orientation is a spectrum right.

No. 416203

Even if they were actually bi, trying to seduce every single npc in a game is extremely poor etiquette and obnoxious as fuck. It's annoying no matter what gender or orientation the person is who is doing it.

No. 416205

NTA, but it's always easy to tell when people are just putting on a show to be one of the cool girls. It's obnoxious, and demeaning, and borderline homophobic.

No. 416207

I know some people shit on Marie Kondo's books as just common sense, but her netflix series inspired me to start decluttering! I'm in the same situation as you anon. It's been months since I started to declutter and it seems like it's neverending, and there are things that I just can't seem to part with.

If you're down for reading, I highly recommend Fumio Sasaki's "Goodbye, Things" and Nagisa Tatsumi's "The Art of Discarding" on top of Marie Kondo's book. The combination of all three of these books gives a nice, well rounded approach to changing your mindset for the future, moving on past the guilt of getting rid of things. Personally, I loved Goodbye, Things the most! It's inspired me to move towards minimalism, maybe not to the extent that Sasaki is at (I forget how many things he owns but it's very, very little lol), but definitely a lot less things than I have now. I've been trying to become a lot more mindful about the material items that I buy now, and in turn, it helps me spend less (although I really just end up using that extra bit of money towards food now lol).

No. 416220

File: 1559225927302.gif (1.02 MB, 440x246, tenor.gif)

i'm from the US of fucking A and had no clue suicide hotline busts were a thing. like the last thing i want to do is encourage somebody not to get help, but reach out to literally ANYBODY ELSE. the thing about being admitted for suicide-type things is that they really can hold you for 72 hours and then ship you out somewhere even worse. you have no say.

>worse yet if you're in a psych ward as an adult i believe it actually appears on record
I'M PISSED. the worst part was being shuffled into the back of a police car like i'm a fucking criminal for feeling feelings lmao

No. 416227

I've been thinking a lot about my ex recently. I had the worst meltdown in a while the other night over her (though definitely tame compared to when we first broke up), just being sad as shit that I'm still hung up on her 6 months later and she seems to be doing fine. I mean, I don't know if she's fine, we don't talk, but it sucks to still feel like this while she's seemingly moved on. I want to move on too.

Things have been getting better for me recently. I got a new job, my thoughts are clearing up, I just feel better overall most days… but these past few days I just feel so sad about it. I know having her back in my life wouldn't make my quality of life better, I know having a relationship with her again wouldn't solve all my deep seated problems and issues, but god my stupid bitch brain is so upset again.

I don't know if it's the gloomy whether or if it's just my period (I have an IUD and my already light period is just not existent (thank god) but I still turn into an emotional mess, except this time there's no bleeding happening for me to be like "oh ok its just my period lol" shit just comes and goes and I never know).

No. 416249

Because I planned to buy one anyways the moment she started asking for payments, the car isn't going to be paid off for another 5 years so she was going to make me do that too. I was going to save up a bit more to find a little nicer car and not deal with payments, which I successfully did. I left a lot of details out mostly because I already vented about this a few days ago, but it was stressful. My mom was nonstop harassing me because I wouldn't answer her texts right away and threatening to show up to my house with law enforcement and trying to get me evicted, so I just said fuck it, if she wants to keep threatening me, I'm cutting all ties with her immediately.
I tried to do something to temporarily please her and I thought giving her that payment would make her stop, but it didn't. She just wants money and control over me.

No. 416256

It’s killing me whether I should report my ex for doing some illegal and fucked up shit. On one hand, I want peace and quiet in my life and it’s been almost a year since I last dealt with him. On the other though, he’s an extraordinarily evil person (and I don’t think I’m using the term “evil” lightly) and will likely go on to hurt someone else since he’s never suffered real consequences for it. Part of my motivation is petty revenge but the other is knowing that he will hurt someone else some day and needs to be stopped.

No. 416258

File: 1559232952017.jpeg (54.96 KB, 749x530, BC285AB5-93C5-4DE9-BDD2-300865…)

>I'M PISSED. the worst part was being shuffled into the back of a police car like i'm a fucking criminal for feeling feelings lmao

jfc that's terrible, that happened to me during one of my stints at a hospital when I was still underage and it's so humiliating, I think it would be at any age. the cops also treated me like a nutcase and put me in cuffs, made me a thousand times more suicidal and angry upon admission, I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you

ive always tried to find ways to vent that are mostly self contained. sometimes I need to vent, I try and keep it to a "vent journal" (which I keep misplacing but it's still saved me from cracking a few times ffs). when I talk to people if I have anyone to talk to at that moment I avoid anyone who I think would report me for "suspicious behavior".

i'm a mess and i'm sure there's a few times where i definitely could've been dragged back to the hospital in my post adult life but I can't afford to have the disruptions in my life, have it on my record, pay for it, or deserve to be dragged back

i found it a lot easier to hide the breakdowns and feelings I could hide and self contain them in a way where I can still vent i guess, vent only to people I trust and find weird coping skills in dealing with it. I like to dance around and listen to music while everyone is sleeping and it usually doesn't wake them up when I'm having late night breakdowns, it tires me out. the vent journal is probably most relieving, being able to say things that I'm not sure I could ever say aloud. what I do doesn't work for everyone, I've given my also mood disordered / generally issued friends advice and I can guarantee it doesn't always work.

what matters I guess is that I wanted to find a way to vent that wasn't going to always publicize how I felt or allowed me to publicize it in an anonymous or trustworthy way that wasn't going to land me in the hospital again

No. 416290

I've been struggling with severe depression and PTSD for almost 8 years now, and I'm currently in grad school.

I constantly have to take breaks and drop classes because of my shitty mental health so it's taking a long time and I'm about to run out of financing options short of expensive private loans because they're all limited to a certain number of semesters for some reason.

I work part time already and I don't know if I could handle a second job to make enough money, it's been stressing me out non-stop and I'm just really tired and sad because I want this degree and I'm passionate about what I'm doing. I'm halfway done but it seems like I'm just set up for failure and it's an endless uphill battle. It doesn't help that I live by myself and have no friends at school so I'm just lonely and stressing about money non-stop.

I'm in therapy already and my therapist is really supportive but lately I'm just so incredibly tired and want to give up.

No. 416293

Go for it. People like that usually accumulate multiple enemies over their life so he probably won't even know it was you and even if it doesn't end in a conviction just having him being reported on file will help the next person to report him tones.

No. 416303

I love my boyfriend's mom and I really appreciate that she lets us stay at her place but I wish she would just give us a little bit more privacy.

No. 416313

I just want the diarrhoea to end already

No. 416324

I can't say this anywhere without sounding like a jealous, resentful bitch, which I probably am, but it annoys the hell out of me that being an Influencer is a thing now.
What I specifically mean by this is that ever since social media became lucrative you've got hundreds upon hundreds of teens/people in their 20's or 30's who make a living off of doing the bare goddamn minimum with absolutely no academic formation or preparation of any kind.

They sell kids (bc, let's face it, the only people who actually give a shit about what "influencers" have to say about anything are mostly kids, or mentally stunted adults who think like kids) this exciting lifestyle that comes with very little effort compared to what pursuing higher education or working a fulltime job would. You get to make content with your friends!! Companies sponsor you so you get free shit! You can be super fucking materialistic and wasteful and people will praise you for it! You'll have a legion of fans and people will look up to you!

This is where the old coot in me comes crawling out and states the boringly obvious: kids don't want to be doctors, lawyers, teachers anymore; they want to be youtubers, singers, models, let's players. Why do me or my friends even bother going to college, working jobs and cultivating ourselves as people when a walking thumb like Logan Paul can be the biggest piece of shit in the galaxy and still have the lavish, comfortable lifestyle he has without having to put in even a quarter of the effort I'd have to put to get ahead in life, and it's all because he struck gold and realized little kids will look up to you if you're just obnoxious and loud enough to hold their 10-second attention span. Or people like Pewdipie, whose job is literally to scream into a microphone and "review" memes. Sometimes, deep down, I wonder: why the fuck do I even bother?

I genuinely fear in 10 years' time we'll have a whole generation of ex-influencers whose fame and novelty wore off and now they're in their late 20's/early 30's with absolutely no academic background past high school (IF they even graduate hs), no job experience and no life skills to get by in this inevitable circumstance they've put themselves in. I wish the media and us as a collective society would stop giving influencers so much attention, relevancy and praise for doing the bare minimum, bc let's face it, no matter how hard you might work to branch out your instagram account or grow your youtube channel,
you're NOT working as hard as someone putting themselves through college or working a fulltime job. You're probably NOT doing something so extraordinary and fantastic that you deserve to be famous, so many of these people look like clones and do exactly the same shit. WHY are they so famous? Why do we love making shitty, mediocre people famous? Is observing lolcows a universal entertainment experience?

No. 416328

Why do I keep internet stalking some dude I was involved with 3 years ago who is a total loser asshole. I honestly want to see him struggle in life and fail at everything he does. I want to know everything he’s up to. What’s wrong with me?

No. 416333

I mean… In the past you had these people too, in different iterations. They never would've made good doctors, lawyers or pilots to begin with, these people are modern day door to door salesmen. When I was a kid my classmates wanted to be football players or rappers. Both of those professions are equally useless.

No. 416334

this. Hell, flagpole-sitting was a super popular job for a few years before the great depression. Dumb trend useless jobs are just a sign of an economic boom. It'll go away eventually.

No. 416339

I did this with my ex for several years, and continued to do it with several ex friends afterwards. You're not alone. I want to say "move on and find something else to do" but it's a lot easier said than done. I eventually stopped checking altogether, but nowadays I'll stop to check once every few weeks or something out of boredom. It's a shit habit.

No. 416342

I have the same bad habit too. It mildly infuriates me seeing these men do the same shit they’ve done to me over and over again to other people but at the same time, I feel this sense of superiority over them for not being sacks of shit like them. I should really just drop it.

No. 416344

My bf has wasted so much of my time. But I'm also in this weird bit in my life where I was kind of stuck in a time warp. So it's not creating a huge amount of existential dread but I have found out some terrible things he has lied about and I've decided that i really fucking hate him but I'm going to keep pretending to be his gf so I can use him and I'm going to go ahead and appear single to anyone who im interested in. My bf likes to lie constantly about where he is and who's he with, bitch me too! I'm going to fuck his head so good.

No. 416346

you honestly sound fourteen. get a grip and break up.

No. 416348

There's no need to lose a couple connections I have through him at the moment. I'll move on when I've no need for him, in the meantime he can lie and do whatever he wants, I've checked out caring.

No. 416352

My boyfriend decided to pick a fight but not until after we had sex. He was so sweet whem he came home and as soon as we were done he was getting upset with me for something. I feel so gross. We've been together over 5 years and nothing like this has ever happened before. Idk if I am making a big deal over nothing, idk if he is just a giant idiot who doesn't see how shitty it was. I should probably talk to him but I feel embarrassed to say how gross it made me feel.

No. 416355

Talk to him about it in a moment when you're both calm and rested.
>Hey, the other day, you were so sweet before we had sex but then afterwards you got all agressive. I felt really used, like you had just put on an act to get into my pants.

No. 416356

I love seeing how no one will date him, he doesn’t have a good job, he’s in 100k+ student loan debt, and just seems generally having a shitty time. I am elated how much his life sucks. I think there’s something wrong with me, and I’ll probably talk to my therapist about it. Also, I’m doing well in my life so it isn’t anything like that. It’s weird to me since he was pretty insignificant.

No. 416357

Curious, what was he bitching about? It sounds like a very selfish thing to do, it would make me feel weird, too. This >>416355 is good advice.

No. 416366

I think about gender politics nearly every day, just because when I was younger I was heavily into Tumblr. I came out as trans to my parents and close friends irl after I got sucked into the cult-like mentality and all it did was make me miserable and thin-skinned. Luckily I got out of that circle and didn’t do any procedures to my body but it angers me to see tranny bullshit spread even further in recent years. I’m genuinely worried it will impact my life as a woman, what with troons somehow actually getting into positions of power like Liam Madigan and Morgane Oger. It’s disgusting and undoing the decades of work that lets young women like me enjoy the privilege I have in a Western first world country. Even that isn’t safe because the UK is handling immigration idiotically and ignoring that our ‘multiculturalism’ is starting to fall apart - and I’m convinced it’s partly because we’re taking in American politics. When the police turn a blind eye to Muslim rape gangs and cities lost to insular cultures, British black people (around me, anyway) seem more mistrustful and paranoid about being oppressed even though black culture here I’m sure is different from the US. Our police are fucking incompetent but they don’t bait blacks with conflicting orders to be able to shoot them.

I don’t think I have the qualifications or skill set to contribute to something like a charity so I feel powerless to make any change in the world and all of this is probably impacting my (already) poor mental health and leaves me distrustful and less content with my country, its government and future prosperity. My area is alright but that doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way, another part of the city used to be high end 60 years ago and I was shocked to learn that because all my live it’s known as chavvy crime central, unsafe to walk in after dark.

The way I’m trying to seek stability is through online privacy, I browse websites about it a lot and cut Google out of my life as a means to gain a little control, but also because privacy and anonymity lets me express my "bigoted" opinions and criticize things when they get too hugboxy. I still think I’m pretty screwed because then I spend ages worrying and obsessing about how secure all of my devices are.

I used to think being a housewife was for losers as a teenager and genuinely wanted to get into STEM or the arts because it sounds impressive and I have a genuine interest in those things. I was a high achiever at school but now I’m a NEET and half way compromising with myself, that I’ll be happy just stacking shelves if people leave me alone, and spending time with a boyfriend if I ever get one. Now I’d be proud to start a family and raise them right but would I bring children into this shitty world? What if they think they’re trans? I’m so unhappy but not suicidal, I just feel like I exist in limbo fighting every day to be ‘okay’, let alone be stronger and rise above all this shit.

No. 416374

it sounds like you're genuinely got a lot on your mind right now anon. there's nothing i can do to impact your life for better or worse from an anonboard, but all i can tell you is that every storm passes and the sun always comes out again, even if it's a long storm it can't last forever, can it?

it's completely fine to want a "low-tier" simple job with little responsibility and a quiet life. i used to be a lot like you when i was younger (high achiever with big ambitions) but even if i'm not a NEET i strive for a simple, quiet life where people will leave me alone like you do. i think as you get older it's normal to want smaller, quieter, simpler. you tend to dream big when you're younger bc you don't quite grasp the full picture and the harsh realities of the world, and let's face it: not everyone is cut out for a high-achieving, ambitious life in a STEM field or as an artist, those things are big responsibilities and require a great deal of practice, perseverance and skill, and even the most talented artist of its generation will face challenges and backlash on their way up to the top. it's completely fine to want a "mediocre" quiet life, the world is wacky enough as it is, and there's a reason there's only so many great artists and cientists per generation. if they weren't a rarity then they wouldn't be appealing to you, now would they?

as for the tranny and immigration stuff, i can't speak on that one bc i live in a shithole country that's way too behind with the world to have even reached those "first world" issues (we kinda have immigration shit but it's diff). i, too, fear for this sjw troon takeover, but i also feel like they're so delusional and incompetent that they'll off themselves naturally before the end of the decade. trust me, this likely won't survive long enough to be on our history books.

No. 416380

I get what you're saying, but tbh even worse than the celeb influencers, are all the mediocre people who tried really hard to be cool on the internet and just never really made it.

see: Anisa Jomha. she's exactly as you describe but wasn't even good at it. yet at 26/27 she's banking on a boobjob her bf has to pay for to boost her ratings instead of working on life skills or a new plan

No. 416384

My kinda-friend said my art looked like Steven Universe's art style and it just majorly pissed me off. That comment was the tip of the iceberg, and I know she meant it in the most derogatory way. This may exude bitter asshole vibes but she can't draw cartoony/stylised art for shit, and she's aiming to apply for the same animation course as me. She never expressed interest in animation/art before, but because she's a weeb, she decided to go with being an animator. She hardly draws for fun and constantly moans about it, like its a chore and not something she genuinely loves.

I don't know, I feel like I'm constantly encouraging her with her art and her ideas and always compliment her, but she never has anything nice about my art back. She even disapproves of the fact that I post fanart/original art online. Like COME ON! You'd be an idiot to not realise that that's how you make your money and grow an audience.

I would never want to come across as gate-keeping in the art community cause thats awful, but MAN does this girl grind my gears and upset me.

No. 416385

Just ignore her, anon. No one will think you're gate-keeper for ignoring an asshole who doesn't even enjoy animation and cartoons. It's all bitterness and wasted energy to your art, just go on doing your stuff. Learning where to put your energies will do only good for your skills.

No. 416386

i fucking hate you used this photo anon lmao it's perfect

No. 416393

File: 1559261268070.gif (943.59 KB, 450x338, tenor-2.gif)

Got my first pay from my new job and they've already underpaid me. Fucking hell, I hate having to awkwardly chase down managers trying to get the money they owe me, especially when I'm new to this job and am shy af. Not like I'm relying on this money for bills or anything! !! Fucks sakes.

No. 416397

The same thing happened at my new job and I felt awkward having to bring it up to my superiors but they were extremely apologetic. I was very polite and just asked why there was a discrepancy between my paychecks when I had worked x amount of hours each week. I know it puts you in a bit of an awkward position but it's their fault and surely they'll understand that.

No. 416403

File: 1559266274797.jpg (98.86 KB, 720x960, D7zr32gW4AAhs9X.jpg)

My boyfriend is 'le outgoing funny guy~'. I guess it's part of why I love him but he's so incapable of being serious until I get angry with him and then it all goes to shit. I have to say 'babe, seriously' at least 4 times to get him to stop joking around, and even then he will just continue five minutes later until I explode on him. And then I'm the bad guy for ruining our time together because he was just trying to 'lighten the mood'. He's either this hyper ball of energy or depressed and unresponsive, there seems to be no in-between and obviously I'd like him to be the former rather than the latter but some days I feel like I just can't handle this constant comedian act from him.

No. 416414

I always loathe when I go through periods of having a strong libido. I get incredibly disgusted with myself afterwards for thinking disgusting sexual thoughts and for wanting to be in a relationship with a man. All sex has ever done for me is make my life worse.

No. 416422

As much as I love my husband's parents I really wish they would learn how to use a computer. The only computer in the house is a 10yo laptop which used to belong to my husband. I had to install Xubuntu on it before I could even boot into an OS. The keyboard has dead keys and feels sticky. I really hope it isn't stuck together with semen because I'm typing on it rn.

No. 416426

Why are you dating a manchild

Do you really want to babysit him forever?

No. 416429

I wanna cuddle with my friend.

No. 416433

me too. i can’t wait til saturday so i can do that and also take care of them since they’re recovering from wisdom tooth extraction. helping people you care about feels so nice

No. 416436

Try spearmint tea! It can help lower the high testosterone levels that might cause a high libido. I mean of course don't go overboard

No. 416439

I might just try that out since last I tested, I do have higher androgen levels than normal. I could go for some new tea anyways. Thanks for the suggestion, anon.

No. 416442

>be a shut-in
>only talk to family and cashiers
>get sick, now have to go to the hospital once a week
>developing a crush on the male nurse that works with me

God, I'm so pathetic. I refuse to let myself dwell on these thoughts or act on them by fapping but it's still humiliating.

No. 416443

I had my resume professionally revised a few weeks ago because I've been applying for jobs for over a year and I haven't gotten a single call back, not even for the meanest retail jobs. The person who did it was shocked that I've had no success because I have a lot of good experience, so that sucks. I moved overseas over a year ago and I guess not having any work experience in this country is hurting me? I thought living in a big city would give me more opportunities, but when 300+ people apply to every job I do it seems impossible to stand out. I was hoping a fancy resume would do the trick but not yet. I feel super hopeless. I'm tired of applying for 5+ jobs every day just to yield nothing.

No. 416444

I miss my dog so much. My exbf got him when we broke up and I can't have a dog in this apartment, but I still miss him a lot. I raised him from a little puppy, trained him and played with him. Nobody else really likes taking care of him but I do. He's such a sweetheart, so polite, calm and cuddly. Too bad I can't take care of him anymore.

No. 416445

I think I've decided to buy one thing then I go to forums and do a bit of more research and now I don't know anymore. I want to rip my hair out. I just want a decent epilator. It's also depressing that so many epilator related search results on Reddit are made by trannies.

No. 416446

It’s the worst fucking feeling. I just got hired after a three year search and it sucked every minute. Tbh keeping at it is the only thing that will work. Apply repeatedly if any listings get reposted even if you didn’t get a response the first time. If you’ve got the time, do a bit of volunteering for the resume points and get to know people in businesses you’re interested in working at. Being a familiar face with a good attitude could get your foot in a lot of doors.

Fingers crossed you get something really soon. It’s godawful in the doldrums but they can’t last forever if you’re paddling.

No. 416451

Do you guys ever feel guilty about being affected by a trauma more than by positive things that happened in your life? I am still haunted by my abusive 'relationship' and it's been so many years. I feel like that was something that changed me forever.

No. 416459

Went from a day of comatose ambien abuse eating two pizzas by myself and earnestly thinking about kms to a productive meeting day at the office with a client, feeling pretty good.
It's BPD, right? Those really extreme and intense mood swings?
God, I'm so worried about my psychologist appointement and having to detail 15 fucking year of misery AGAIN. Maybe I should do an info sheet like those munchies do with my entire history so I won't have to try and it taking 5 fucking sessions just to catch up to everything. Would it look nuts?

No. 416462

It's normal to be affected more by negative things than positive, it's a survival thing. Fear focuses your memory, bad thing happening stick better than good ones to try and be better at avoiding them afterwards while good memories get fuzzy over time. No point being guilty about it, it's how we're wired.

No. 416464

Yes. My abusive relationship ended a decade ago and I'm still haunted by it. No amount of therapy has helped me cope.

No. 416468

I get you anon. It's been literally ten years since I dumped my abusive ex but the better my life gets, the more I get sucked into that time.
I know we're supposed to be gentle and forgiving with our traumas or whatever but sometimes I worry that it just means my life is empty. If this is the biggest thing that affects me, maybe I should be challenging myself to more or something.

No. 416479

>the better my life gets, the more I get sucked into that time.

me exactly. I feel like back after it happened I hardly thought about it but now it's on my mind daily.

No. 416481

Thanks anon, congrats on finally getting hired! Do you mind if I ask what you did during the 3 years you were looking? Did you volunteer? I've been looking at opportunities but nothing's panned out. I'm a the point where I might take some courses just to look like I've done something. I'm very afraid of what a huge gap is going to look like.

No. 416484

I think I might be a lesbian-leaning bisexual. I always assumed that i was hetero, and never ever had any second thoughts about how hard I was hitting on other girls, never taking it as something more serious than jokes.

Like, since 6 grade I was constantly teasing girls by touching them everywhere and grabbing their boobs often without their consent (which makes me a fucking creep, I know, and I am horrified with myself as I realise all that I did back then), blatantly hitting on my very straight classmates at college, which made some of them really confused, and made one even fall for me.

I had a plenty of relationships with men. In late teenage years I just wanted sex mostly, and guys of my age were easy to start a relationship with. The moment they began to have feelings for me or demanding my free time I instantly was like "what ew no" and dropped them. My first sexual partner was into crossdressing, I was into cosplay at a time, so we often had sex while he was in full cosplay of some girl character, and now that I remember him, he had very feminine face features. My first memory of him is literally noticing him because of small pointy nose and thinking that he was beautiful because of that. (He turned out to be bisexual too later on)

The more I become adult, the more I realise how small interest I had in men throughout all my life. I don't hate them, just don't care. I never had "favourite type", I never ever liked any handsome actor or thirsted over some particular man. I think most of them even look the same to me. And now that I have less sex drive than when I was a teen, I feel awkward in bed, all of it feels very unnatural.

I keep thinking about women. I see hot lesbian dreams, look at women in public transport, often find myself fantasising about them. I have a huge folder with warious beautiful women, dressed and undressed. I find a lot of women sexy, I like different body types, different skin colours and appearances. I'm interested in what women say and think. I can identify lesbians even if they don't look certain way by just feeling or some shit like that.

I only had sex with a girl once, but she was not very enthusiastic about it. Now I want to explore my sexuality more, but I seem to have lost all that "top" attitude that I had when I was 17, so I have no idea how to hit on women now that I'm 25 and have little to no experience with dating them. I guess imageboards do that to you, huh

No. 416486

I don't know if this helps you but a trauma counselor once told me that it's normal for old emotional wounds to open when we finally have space to unpack them. I felt guilty for thinking of this stuff when I was with my bf or family, but she said that it makes sense because that's when our minds are safest to admit or vaddress their raw pain.
It's stupid and I hate it lol

No. 416488

same i don’t know how to hit on women I’m worried about coming off like a fucking creep since i used to imitate how men hit on women and now im disgusted. I wish there’d be more resources on flirting or simply communication in general for women by women…

No. 416489

I have bad childhood trauma, been to therapy for it was medicated for a while when it flared up during a rough year. I was a victim even tho I get triggered using that word because my step mom slapped me across the face mocking me for being a victim (I had recently spoken to my dad about how I had been physically assaulted by a bf, you know that old trope how you keep getting in cycles of abuse? All my fault obviously, just love cruising for a bruising and thinking no one could love damaged goods like me apart from addicts lol). My extended family (grandparents, aunts and uncles) have all passed away and my happy childhood memories are with them. I feel utterly hopeless a lot and it's completely effected how I maintain relationships with others. I can't get too close because I have such abandonment issues.

I feel ashamed I'm so weird and I've had a past bf tell me it's weird that my own mother hated me so much and would beat me, but I had to live with her because my dad left her for a younger woman who hates children lol. Pretty sure my brother has fucked my step mom too. So because I've had two women in my life hate me it's my fault. At least that's how it feels. Even though I loved my grandma and she doted on me because she's dead that's forgotten and my legacy is being my mother's little bitch and I can't escape it. I had my own brother mock me the other day and he was complicit in the physical abuse against me too which started when I was only 8 years old. Then because I left a company for a better paying job after a crazy bitter old woman was picking on me and other female coworkers (who also all quit for better prospects after being pushed out) that's been used as corroborated evidence to my unpleasantness.

I got offered an opportunity by my father (who is extremely wealthy) to pay for my further education. There was a period a few years ago where he nearly left his wife and we rekindled a relationship because she had always stopped it. He wanted to make it up to me for failed opportunities and cover my fees. This is the greatest blessing I will ever receive in life and its almost an atonement on my father's behalf for the years of hell I was put through. And I have to say I haven't engaged as much with the opportunity, I lost all of my grandparents during the first 2 semesters then an aunt and uncle, a beloved cat I rescued at 12 and pleaded with my mom's bf at the time to keep. I also ended an engagement because the man was abusive and didn't love me.

My mom and brother think I'm now disgustingly spoilt and have been publicaly berating me since I enrolled. I'm finishing a masters now and honestly I just constantly feel plagued by negativity that I don't even know what I want to do after this course. I've just been going through the motions I have absolutely no desire for anything

No. 416490

Yes! Resources would be great, some place where other women would tell how they do it, or how they want other women to hit on them. I think there might be some forums or something like that somewhere

No. 416492

My BF follows and likes almost all photos from this girl who posts lewds- and she looks so much like his ex. I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but it’s fucking my up. She has the exact same body- short w big boobs- as her and her face is so similar it’s almost scary. I will literally never look like this girl- I have no boobs and struggle gaining weight cos of poor eating habits that I’ve been trying to fix with many doctors appointments. I hate how jealous and anxious it’s making me, and my self confidence has reached a new low. I feel so ugly and I can’t bring this topic up with him. It doesn’t help that we are long distance, so the amount of lewd photos he likes makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, and I wish I felt confident enough to send photos like that to him.

No. 416493

I'll meet my online boyfriend in a few months. It's a bit far away but still in my country. I have met online boyfriends before but they'd usually come see me. I'm so nervous…

No. 416494

I always feel like I’m a killjoy when I hang out with my sister and her kids. Today they’re going to the beach and she asked if I wanted to go, and I kept getting really indecisive about it, so she started saying that I shouldn’t go with them if I’m just going to act miserable the whole time. But then she also said that it’s my decision and not hers, and that it would be great if I could go. I declined and it makes me feel guilty because the kids were expecting me, but I hate when she starts talking like I’m forcing myself to be with them.

No. 416502

bring it up to him, anon! just calmly and peacefully lay it all out for him: that this girl's resemblance to his ex/the fact that he seems to engage SO MUCH with her social media are messing with your self esteem and confidence, and that while you know that he's NOT doing it on purpose (even if it turns out he is you don't want to make this seem like an accusation, be as neutral as possible) it's still affecting you negatively and putting a strain on your mood, and that you feel like you're doing something wrong/you can't send pictures like that to him bc of your low self esteem, and could he please try to take your feelings into consideration on this subject. if he asks what he should do about it, i don't think it's controlling or bad to ask him to please unfollow her/cut back his social media engagement; you've communicated clearly to him that it's fucking with your confidence, and let's be honest, it's not going to kill him not to like every lewd some girl that's not even his girlfriend posts on social media, there's no rational reason for him to throw a bitch fit over this.

be honest with him. don't be accusatory or confrontational, just have an honest heart-to-heart on the subject, try to emphasize that you know you "shouldn't" be jealous, but you are, and this isn't at all an unreasonable excuse to be jealous: your boyfriend is showing a very vocal and open preference for another girl's body, which is a standard you feel like you can't live up to, and said girl resembles his ex girlfriend to boot. jealousy is a normal feeling and something we often can't avoid, you're not horrible or wrong for being jealous AS LONG AS you handle it accordingly and properly, and i think being honest to him about how much anxiety and distress this issue is causing you is handling this appropiately.

No. 416505

It's annoying how everyone just loves Islam and nothing bad can be said about Islam but it's perfectly fine to make fun of Jews and Christians. Muslims are a RELIGION OF PEACE and anyone who says anything about them is racist. They need to get over themselves.

No. 416506

>bf never texts first because he admits he's jaded
I wish he would talk to me first sometimes about anything, damn.

No. 416507

>Everyone just loves Islam
I feel like you're just hanging out in the wrong sort of Internet circles. It is very common in SJW sort of crowds to be pro-muslim. TBH though I agree, I don't see why Islam should be exempt from criticism when it's pretty similar to the other abrahamic religions.

No. 416509

I'm sorry but how old is he? Any functional adult in the dating scene should know that texting games aren't cute. If he wants to talk to you, he should. He either doesn't want to talk or is actually five years old.

No. 416510

I dont know what's up with him. He has no problem texting when I get the convo going first but he is less talkative on text. I figure he's just bad at texting first since I know a lot of people meme about that on social media.

No. 416511

I think I may have accidentally pressed my co-worker's buttons this morning by implying lab work is something lots of people could learn?

We both work at a clinic together, he as a health technician and I as an assistant. We're both contracted so what our next job plans are isn't exactly taboo to discuss given the nature of our situations.
I was looking at a new permanent facility that needs a technicians for a lab team and thought about applying to it. I have up to an MA and I've been struggling to find a career that pays decent for my degrees that isn't teaching. I've frankly had a lot of shitshow jobs since graduating, but I feel like they've given me experience and an appreciation for hard work.
This clinic job I like but it isn't permanent.

My coworker thought I shouldn't do it. So I explained how my aunt works in a lab and I was gonna ask her for advice. Also that the preferred qualifications don't seem like such a reach from what I currently do. While I don't work in a lab I do work in a clinic where I have to observe similar sanitary procedures. I have to demonstrate attention to detail and have strong command of computer skills when I read patient panels and input these results into their files.
The worst that happens is that I don't get the job.
Coworker says "Well do you really think you are qualified?"
To which I replied I could learn how to be a lab monkey, yeah, don't most?

Maybe my reply was snarky but I thought his tone was really condescending. Like, "An arts major in STEM field? OHOHOHOHOHO!"
It pisses me off. I'm not stupid for choosing a degree that I had a passion for, back when success was defined as pursuing any college until the narrative changed and now arts degrees are only for stupid stinky doo doo heads who deserve to work in retail forever now.
And of course, I obviously have to be locked in forever with what I chose for picking the path I did as an inexperienced 17 year old.

I know nobody gives credit for trying, but holy shit at least I'm trying? I don't feel like I'm acting entitled and demanding a job, but I certainly feel judged for trying to find ways to alleviate my situation.

No. 416512

I’m really not sure how people unironically say it’s a religion of peace while we’re in the midst of Islamic beheadings/bombings/acid attacks and what have you even in first world countries

No. 416516

File: 1559312073840.jpeg (266.35 KB, 960x832, 8338B595-85DB-4EC8-9E7B-EF7078…)

My partner and I both have personality disorders. It’s very hard because we will both go through periods of extreme love and extreme hatred for each other. We will have great weeks and we will have absolutely terrible ones. We both have good jobs and a general direction in life, and we do work hard to encourage good behaviors in one another. If one of us notices the other doing something bad (drinking heavily, restricting food, spending too much time on the computer, etc.) we will talk about it and try to correct the behavior. It’s unfortunate because when we are at our best we are a very healthy, supportive and in-sync. But catch us in an off-week and it’s just horrible fighting spurned from nothing but moodiness. The one good thing is that even in the darkest moments I know a good week is coming.

No. 416517

It may, or it may not be. At least you recognize that it's happening and can work on moving away/coping with it in better ways with your psychologist (although I'm sorry about you having to deal with unloading everything again).

At my last psych, I thought I had bpd because I felt myself going through all of the shit (self harm, abandonment fear, black/white thinking, etc), but my psych never mentioned it. A diagnosis is just a diagnosis, worry more about working through the individual symptoms without putting a name to the whole thing. Also, I've seen many anons here mention that psychs are even hesitant to diagnose someone with it because it can cause trouble in the future.

Good luck anon. I hope you'll be able to work through things and lead a happier life!

No. 416518

No true scotsman fallacy. A muslim who bombs people isn't a TRUE muslim! A christian who hates gays isn't a TRUE christian! Same shit, different day. People would rather disavow their religious peers than give an honest critique on the hidden connotations of their beliefs.

No. 416519

Fuck that guy. If you think you can do it, then you can do it! I hope you get that job anon!

No. 416521

Last sunday, I wished my mom a happy mother's day. She thanked me and told me she was going out to vote.
I guess it's been more than 5 years since the last time I've seen her.
I wish we had a relationship but I have no idea how. I think she loves me but she's always been kind of cold. I don't know how to talk to her about anything she likes because we're so different. Everytime I try, she clam up and I remember how taught me without ever saying anything that everything liked, you shouldn't talk about and that feelings are taboo.
I feel so guilty not being there for her and I feel even guiltier for still not even able to figure out what to do to make it better.
My friend has a mom who come at her place and they watch some TV shows and laugh together.
I crave that so bad and yet I know that nobody in my family was ever to able to open enough. I'm like them now : it's all akward, weird and sad.

No. 416522

I need to get something off of my chest.
I've following my friends in their private accounts without them knowing it. I know what they write about me, why they laugh at me and how much they actually hate me.
The worst part is that I've always felt paranoid about it, they made me feel as if I was crazy or taking things by heart but now I know that I wasn't crazy, I have more proof that I could imagine to drag them.
But I won't do it. I'll just wait until they realise that I know what's going behind my back. I'm so tired of being the nice one here, it's my turn to take distance from them.

No. 416523

I'm 23 and I'm so confused about my sexuality. I just think I really want to protect women all over, and I'm hurt when I see girls with guys. However yesterday is the first time where I actually swooned over a female this much. She helped me when I fell off the sidewalk, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I'm still am! She makes me blush whenever I remember her face, and I really wish I can see her again.

No. 416524

If you want to fuck pussy and eat it, then you know the answer.

No. 416533

Both of you guys care a disgusting amount about what other people think of you. That's your issue.

No. 416540

I'm sort of the same way with my mother, even though I still live under the same roof with my parents lol. We have a bit of a language barrier, which makes things a bit harder too (and honestly makes me feel a bit weird… having a language barrier with your own parent? wtf?). The only thing I can do is go out and eat dinner with her on the days shes off from work, and even then we don't talk over dinner. She's usually on her phone reading something. Sometimes when she's reading something in bed I'll go lay on her bed with her. Our interactions are silent, but as an adult now, I know my time with my parents are fleeting and I just try to enjoy the small moments I have with her. I know I'll never have the same relationship with my mom like my friends do, going shopping together, talking about each other's days, celebrating things like holidays and birthdays- but I try to just make the most of my time with my mom. Maybe invite her out for shopping or a lunch/dinner date. You won't really have to talk about anything besides the food or whatever the store offers, and even if you don't talk about anything at all, being in each other's company might be a small step in the right direction.

No. 416543

A while ago I had a terrorist scare like 400m from my place, nothing happened but there were like…swat looking armed police officers on the street for a few days. It was fucking unnerving yet I feel like people acted like I was overreactig when I didn't wanna go near the church that was targeted, yet at the time i had to. I am tired of living in the city. This shit didn't happen in the countryfuckingside.

No. 416544

A while ago I had a terrorist scare like 400m from my place, nothing happened but there were like…swat looking armed police officers on the street for a few days. It was fucking unnerving yet I feel like people acted like I was overreactig when I didn't wanna go near the church that was targeted, yet at the time i had to. I am tired of living in the city. This shit didn't happen in the countryfuckingside.

No. 416548

>do everything right with my contacts
>even have daily disposable ones
>still fuck up my eyes somehow
Pretty sure it's just a corneal abrasion, I have sudden light sensitivity, a headache, and they're just now getting watery. But my vision is fine atm and I don't see any visible ulcers (although a blood vessel broke a couple days ago).

Hope my eyes survive until next Wednesday when I can see my doctor. But dammit, I just wanted to be cute. I'm never risking this again though.

No. 416561

cut them off and move on anon what the hell lmfao. I understand the need to keep up with friends or at least be curious if they're talking shit about you on their private accs or finstas but its gonna get to a point where you're just gonna be paranoid and harming urself in the long run. I've had similar feelings when I stopped being friends with this chick who was known to overshare and talk shit about virtually anyone (including her own girlfriend and family) on her private twitter so instead of falling into my own paranoid thoughts and wondering if she was gonna say something nasty about me on her social media, I just blocked her. its easier said than done but why torture urself more if u know for a fact that these people are nasty towards u behind ur back?

I will admit I did go for a period of blocking and unblocking her to see if she would say anything tho so lmao take my advice with a grain of salt

No. 416562

ought some cute bralettes off etsy but either a) my dumb ass didnt read the description well enough and missed that they had free shipping over a certain dollar amount (that I was over) but you had to enter in a code or b) they added it after I bought my shit, either way I'm mad I could've saved a few extra dollars from shipping. Also fuck USPS, it was supposed to arrive today, but now it's arriving late ughhhh. I just want my cute bras.

No. 416566

Of course I care, those were my friends for more than 10 years now and as you can understand, any 15 year old girl wants to have some friends who could be there for her. I trusted them blindly and our relationship wasn't that bad as it got later.

You're right…It just hurts because even if I know friends don't have to be perfect all the time, even if we disagreed sometimes, I never put my worse thoughts on social media, instead I tried to think about them.

No. 416570

i can't smoke pot. i used to, and it used to be fine, but out of the blue i had a massive panic attack one time, and i was so freaking paranoid that i thought i was losing my mind. like, i seriously thought i could hear what people were thinking about me which is so far from baseline for me that it's not even funny. ever since then, when i smoke, it's always a variant of that. even if i take the tiniest puff it's going to be a shitshow and it sucks because i used to love smoking and watching movies or listening to music, i loved doing free association writing while i was high, whatever.

now? no fucking way. i get sad because some of the shit i thought about was, not profound or anything like that, but kind of like my brain was seeing things in a new, interesting light. even that part creeps me out because i'm like well, is that the precursor to being fucking nuts? seeing things differently? even high cbd strains that still have thc in them fuck me up. i'm so jealous of friends who can use with no problems whatsoever. i know it's not for me, though. i guess i'm not alone, i live in a recreational state and my shrink says she sees a ton of people coming in with weird issues that all seem to be based around the use of pot just prior to some kind of breakdown. she also said that when she was getting her doctorate, she talked to a bunch of nurses who worked on psych wards in the sixties who swore up and down that pot was worse for psych issues than freaking pcp or acid. which, don't know if i believe that, but sometimes i wish i could still smoke it and relax the way i used to.

cbd by itself seems like utter bullshit, it does nothing that i can see one way or the other. anyhow, i stay away from all of it now. boo me. not trying to scare anyone, just feeling sorry for myself.

No. 416571

Ugh, I feel you anon. I'm incredibly germophobic and terrified of permanently damaging my eyes so I'm super diligent with cleaning my contacts but I still have issues with them. I don't know how so many contact wearers are so careless and reckless with their lenses but never have any problems.

What kind of contact solution do you use? I used to use the regular multipurpose kind but after getting giant papillary conjunctivitis my eye doctor recommended I use solution with hydrogen peroxide in it, it's supposed to be more thorough at cleaning the lenses and is good for people with sensitive eyes or allergies to the preservatives in regular contact solution. I don't know if the problems you're having are related to it, but I'd say it's worth the switch, it's helped me a lot. Anyway I hope nothing too serious is wrong with your eyes and they'll get better soon!

No. 416573

Why is living a nightmare for some people? And why is it a dream for some? I always ask myself this question, it seems like it's a matter of luck.

I was sexually abused as a child, I come from a very abusive and fucked up family and I was verbally, physically and sexually abused countless times as a child. The thing is my family wouldn't even be considered such a bad family by Eastern European standards I guess.

My parents divorced when I was 4. I watched my own mother spiral down into mental illness with no help. My grandmother would take care of me. We were really poor, I was badly dressed, hungry, dirty. I wasn't even taken to school until I was 10. I got raped by a 20 or something year old villager, I got raped multiple times and I was also tortured for days at end. I never told anybody because I was scared. When I was 10 I had to move from my mom's to my dad's in another town and that's the first time I met my father. I was taken to school finally, it was hard for me to interact with my peers and I did very bad academically throughout all my school years.

My father is a maritime electrical engineer so he would work abroad for around 6-7 months per year. He would leave me with his parents, my paternal grandparents and my aunt. My grandmother was very nice and an amazing person but my grandfather was an alcoholic. He tortured and abused three generations my grandmother, my aunt and dad and me. Even if he was 70 years old he would still drink and he was still being extremely abusive towards everyone. He would beat the shit out of me, he would even beat my grandmother sometimes although she was old. But this was normal for them. I started acting weird at school so the teachers asked me what's wrong and I remember I managed to tell them a bit of my family situation and they discussed with my grandfather. Of course I got beaten and explained that what happens at home stays at home and that they only want what's good for me and that I shouldn't complain because my dad was making money.

The truth is my dad was wealthier than average, his income was above average but he wasn't rich either. His interactions with me were very limited he never really showed me true compassion, he would only come back from work after 7 months of not seeing me and he would buy me a lot of sweets and clothes and toys.
My grandma died a year ago, she was diagnosed with cancer and died within 3 months of her diagnosis. My father got depressed and stopped working. I went to college but I dropped out after 2 months due to mental illness. I got multiple jobs that I got fired from and now I'm a camgirl that makes as little as possible. I hate this life, I hate myself even if I know I shouldn't, I have this permanent mental state that guides me towards self destruction. Sometimes I look at the people around me and their lives are much more fulfilling and then I look back at myself and although I would say I'm a bit above average in intelligence and although I'm average in looks my mind is so scarred and my life is too. When I wake up from my sleep I feel as if I'm waking up from a nightmare to another nightmare and the only way to stop it is to just end it all.
I don't wanna die, there are still things I want to live for. I love literature and I love art and no one can take that away from me no matter what situation I end up in. But I'm still afraid that… in a moment of impulsivity and absolute despair I might do it. Just to regret it when it is too late.

No. 416574

Stay away from it for a while, maybe for at least 6 months, or more. I needed only one very bad experience with acid against a ton of great and ok ones to completely drop all drugs. I nearly had a panic attack once when nice people that I know pretty well asked me if I want to trip with them. They just asked a question! And I immediately started seeing all the horrible things again while hyperventillating. It's been several years now, since then I've never had any thoughts about smoking even.

No. 416584

This semester as been a mess for me. I have B's in every class, excluding that one high C. For my 2 most important classes the proff was fired and the other took a 2 month leave for some surgery and came back drugged up. I lost track of time thinking I could study later and ended up cramming. I have all my grades back except for the one class I'm almost failing. The proff hasn't put in the final exam, it's 20 percent of the grade. I have no idea what I did on the exam. I'm just waiting in suspension to get the grade back to see if I fail or not.

My parents also want me to visit them over the summer and the topics of grades are going to come up.

No. 416590

currently crying my eyes out because my girlfriend does everything she can do to save her friend from committing suicide but when i tell her about my own problems and how i cannot stop self harming (and i also have a history of suicide attempts) she just brushes it aside and starts talking about herself all the fucking time and at this point i just feel so unwanted and disgusting and i really should be grateful that the friend who wants to commit suicide is saved for now but at the same time i just feel nothing but anger towards them because my girlfriend cares more about them than she cares about me it's just so evil i hate feeling this way

No. 416593

I had a bf a few months ago who did this to me. Always talking about how his friend X was depressed, always checking in on him, super concerned for him to the point where if X was having a bad day, it would ruin his day too (in turn ruining my day). When I told him I was extremely depressed and had been suicidal for the 4 months I had been in college his first response was to say “what, you’ve never seemed depressed to me?” And then breaking up with me a week later (we got back together very quickly once he realized he needed my validation, lol). So you’re not alone in this experience, but at least in my case my ex not being able to be supportive or at least interested in how I was feeling (as well as a combination of other things) was a huge sign of immaturity and him not being ready for the responsibilities of a relationship. I’m not saying this is the case for you as I only know about this situation, but take some time to think about this in the context of the rest of your relationship— if it’s mentally taxing for you but she gets off scot free, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate if it’s worth it.

No. 416594

I just remembered that after my parents divorced, when we went to visit our dad, we would often play "spa" in the hotel room. My sister and I would take off everything but our underwear and lay on the bed face down, then our dad would give us full-body massages with the little lotion bottles the hotel provided. Then we would do the same to him. I'm not sure what to do with this memory.

No. 416596


Thank you all for sharing your thoughts with me.
I did not realize that it is natural to remember bad things more than good ones, I though it's a sign that I am a spoiled POS that cannot appreciate the good things in life and instead I am obsessing over the worst thing that happened to me.

Many years ago I've decided to turn my trauma into a story that might resonate with others and help me cope by being of use to me. Maybe that's why I keep having sick dreams about The Man in which he comes back into my life and I am troubled because I want to go back to him and live the dream kid me imagined, but I realize that I am already with my real life boyfriend and I am about to break up with him over my abuser. This really worries me because I do not feel like this at all, but I keep having those dreams… like there is a part of me that still misses him…

It's been so many years and I am still messed up by it (though I am much better than I used to be). I should probably get therapy for this and other issues but I am scared of being misunderstood and belittled due to nature of my experience. After many years, I have learnt to stop judging myself because I am the only person who experienced my life, but I am still scared of others misunderstanding me. I know others have it worse, maybe I am weak for getting so destroyed by 'nothing'

Anons, I am so sorry for the bad things that happened to you, I hope that sooner or later the life will make it up to you.

No. 416605

B‘s aren’t bad or..?

No. 416606

How old? Were genitals or breasts touched? Did it seem sensual or just fun thing with dad (uhhh maybe it can’t ever be) but yeah I’m sorry

No. 416610

I was around 13. I had to take my bra off, but I don't think genitals were touched? I honestly didn't think anything of it as a kid, but I'm weirded out as an adult. He was really touchy-feely when he had alcohol. I'm mainly concerned about what else I've forgotten about that time, and I kind of don't want to remember.

No. 416612

That’s bad then and the age is too high to be an innocent situation where I was thinking possibly could have been the case. I hope you can get help with this issue. I wish you the best.

No. 416620

File: 1559343213033.jpg (12.2 KB, 407x286, 1475221673994.jpg)

>That’s bad then
guess today's going to be an "alcohol and videogames to supress memories" day. yikes.

No. 416622

My dog that I've had since I was a kid is dying. We're putting him down Wednesday.
I've never felt so empty. I've been having complete sobbing breakdowns every few hours and when I'm not sobbing I'm empty.
I want to drink and forget but my boyfriend won't let me, understandably, but I just want to escape from this. I don't want this to be reality, I know it's life but it hurts. I've never dealt with death like this and it's happening too fast

No. 416624

I'm so, so sorry anon. I have a senior dog that I grew up with myself, and I absolutely dread the day when I'll have to say goodbye.

I've had this link saved for a long time now, and I always send it to people who tell me that their dog is dying. I don't know if it'll help, but I hope it does. https://www.reddit.com/r/baww/comments/1m7exu/dogs_never_die/

You still have a few days left with your pup. Love him until you can love him no more. Don't waste your time drinking. Cherish every moment. I wish you the best anon.

No. 416627

I’m very bothered by the high rates of obesity in the medical clinic, how am I supposed to trust a health professional when they’re overworked and overweight, both being horrid things for someone’s health?

No. 416631


thats pretty bad. especially since you said you were already 13, not that it would have been any less weird if you were younger. this is definitely not something normal families do, especially with the parent of the opposide sex. has he done anything creepy besides this? because this is pretty concerning.

No. 416637

As the other anon said, don't waste the days you have left by drinking. Those are you special days left with him. Save the drinking for after (if you must).

No. 416641

>has he done anything creepy besides this?
I don't remember specifics. I didn't remember this thing until my boyfriend and I had a conversation about hotel amenities. I didn't really want to bring it up to him, so I put it up here. I haven't talked to my family for years, so it's not like I have to deal with any of them anymore, it's just kind of like "fuuuuck I'd rather not remember this"

No. 416647

File: 1559349836703.jpg (55.73 KB, 400x505, 1477682067857.jpg)

An incompetent job recruiter really pissed me off today, after 3 weeks of false promises, getting constant getting sent to her voice mail, and waiting.

So apparently she found me a job opportunity in the city. Ok cool, I'm interested as I really need a job ASAP.

Getting a hold of this recruiter (if I wanted to ask more questions about the job) was annoying as fuck. Almost every day I tried calling her, I always got her voice mail, no matter when I called (usually late mornings or early afternoons, staying away from lunch time).

So I finally got in touch with her asking if she heard back from the company and she said no and told me to directly contact them. So after a few days stressing out over making a cover letter, I finally send the company my resume and cover letter.

The next day, I get a response from the company itself. They currently aren't looking for new hires for any position.

Apparently the job posting I was going for has been closed.
For over a month.

Whhhhhhhhyyy the fuck is this stupid bitch referring me to an old closed job position? Is it so I can give the company my resume just to put it in their files for a future consideration? Is that even a thing that's done??

fuck those stupid incompetent assholes, holy shit

No. 416658

I feel like some recruiters are given quotas and make up shit to meet the demands. Maybe try another agency? They sound sketchy to everyone.

My spouse dealt with a sort of similar issue like 5 or 6 years ago. He was hired for a warehouse job, but when he got to the site, like the actual first day there to get trained, there was no one there to help him. No supervisors or anything. Just crew members doing line work. When he went to go ask a crew member where he can find help, they just shrugged and continued doing what they had to do. He was like, "Alright fuck it I'm leaving then," after about a half hour of waiting around.
He said a week later the job agency called him asking why he never attended the first day and he went off on them. He checked the recent Google reviews for the agency when he told me this and they were nearly all negative, besides some 5 stars which clearly sounded like they were current employees.

No. 416659

thank you, i'll try my best. it's just.. so difficult, and my mom is beyond attached to him so i know it'll affect her greatly, she suffers from alcoholism and depression as well as me, and i'm hoping she'll make it through this
also thank you for the reddit link, it made me really happy and my mother loves it as well. peace be with you both

No. 416668

Ugh, my kookoo aunt is spending the night today after ghosting my family over the Memorial Day holiday. I really despise her with a deep, dark, seething hatred. I know it’s not healthy but it’s hard not to dislike her.

A basic rundown of this family cow:

>tried to ‘unscrew’ her engine because she claims some Men in Black put something in it, like a lei

>earlier this year, was threatening to quit her job as a postal carrier because the government is stalking her, had scary lawsuit shit mailed to our house when she lives nearly 90 miles away in the boonies
>lies and claims she never intended to mail the letters, but there’s no other way the PO would know our address unless she filed it herself
>she’s so fucking notorious in the local postal network that several carriers on our route have asked us about her and why she’s acting psycho
>has my grandparents in a tizzy over her behavior, then she up and changes her mind and goes back to work part time
>c. 2011, has claimed that she has a variety of mysterious debilitating illnesses but nothing ever shows up in her bloodwork, CT scans, or MRIs. Still insists there’s something wrong with her to the point that everybody has to stop their damn life to pity her
>for nearly two years she’s walked around with a cane like an old man, suddenly this year she no longer has the cane and can walk normally? If questioned she gets mad and starts claiming we’re harassing her
>got into a massive fight with her at the end of last year because of her bullying me and my mother, told her off for hurting my mom, then she started accusing us of tape recording her and that we are selling her information to the government, claims I am getting paid to bully her
>accuses my nearly 80 year old grandfather who bends over backwards for her that he’s beaming heat rays into her brain or some crazy shit like that on the phone before his birthday and then ghosts him for months
>grandparents take her keys away from her because she’s insane and upsetting everyone, refuses to let us know when she’s coming to visit and is being disrespectful
>now she’s weaseling her way back into the home but she’s still being dumb
>dyed her hair a bunch of crazy colors to ‘throw off the spies’ and now is partially bald after a stylist bleached her hair orange and she shaved it off
>takes all the decals off of her cars and got the blackest presidential tint she could afford on her cheap ass Toyota because ‘muh government surveillance’, constantly gets pulled over by cops for looking like a drug runner

I know to outsiders I should have empathy for her but for a long time, my aunt was an abusive bully and is one of the meanest people I’ve ever known in my life. It’s hard to sympathize with someone who, when she was younger, was a privileged mistake. My grandmother even admitted once that she thought she is a psychopath because she legit feels no remorse for the horrific things she’s done in her past.

I feel a little better venting…

No. 416671

Sounds like unchecked shyzophrenia. Yikes.

No. 416673


Deffo armchairing but yeah that's a level of delusional that needs medical intervention. Does your family realize this?

No. 416676

not that anon but i’m positive her family knows the aunt is mentally ill, how could they not? assuming anon lives in the USA tho, there’s not much they can really do. unless she threatens someone else or herself of course. but you can’t really make a mentally ill adult who hasn’t been declared unfit to live independently to get help as far as i know.

i feel for you, anon. i have a family member who shares some similar traits, it’s exhausting. hope you make it through the night without much trouble

No. 416699


Thank you anon. Thankfully she just left the house of her own volition a few minutes ago, for whatever reason. She was only here about three to four hours total. I heard our garage door go up and as my room is right in front of the drive, I could hear her packing up and driving off. I was in a deep sleep when she left, so I thought someone was trying to break in, went downstairs to check to make sure everything was okay, and saw the guest bedroom door open.

And yes to the other post (having trouble quoting), my mom and I know but my grandparents are kind of in denial. My mother and I - and most everyone else I know - keep our distance for obvious reasons, but my grandfather is the one who continues to encourage her in one way or another in the naive hope that she’ll magically get better. We get into arguments about this all the time. I told him a few weeks ago life doesn’t work like that and that she’s not getting better, that this isn’t just a nervous breakdown due to work stress, and that he needs to deal with the reality of her illness. He got really mad at me when I told him that you can’t just make her better, as he keeps telling himself that if he does XYZ, she’ll be herself again. I don’t want to see her, and I know most of my family feels the same.

I think secretly he blames my mom, my grandmother, and me for not ‘caring’ about her even though he knows she’s hurt us all in some way in the past. She was abusive to my grandmother when she was young, stealing money and shit, and has always ostracized my mother to an extent out of jealousy. For a long time they didn’t speak to each other when they were in their 30’s, as my mother was tired of watching her dump her daughter on my grandmother to chase men and in general live a risky lifestyle.

As >>416676 mentioned, there’s really nothing we can do to force her to change. We’re in the USA and it’s no longer legal to throw someone in the nutty house unless they’re violent or a danger to themselves/society in some way. And even then, she’ll just be out in a few weeks anyway to be back doing whatever she wants. So far she’s still able to feed, bathe, and dress herself.

No. 416755

ive complained about this in another thread already lmao, but someone made a comment irl about how my under eye hollows constantly make me look tired and it just dragged up a bunch of old memories. just as they were starting to not bother me as much.

>boys at school telling me i look like a drug addict

>people constantly asking me when was the last time i slept, telling me i never look well rested, etc.
>getting stopped and questioned by the bouncers at the club because apparently the dark circles under my eyes make me look like im on drugs
>some bitch at my school when i was around 12 covered her entire under eye area with black eyeshadow, took a picture, uploaded it to facebook, tagged me in the photo and then captioned it "guess who i am"

i really want to get them filled up, but im afraid of needles and im also scared of the potential things that could go wrong, and also i always see people online sperging about how women who get fillers are shallow and fake and stuff like that.

No. 416776

Recruiters are almost always a complete waste of time. Ime, you are much better off "hitting the pavement" (ie LinkedIn, Indeed, Craigslist if you're desperate) than going through these idiots.

>Is it so I can give the company my resume just to put it in their files for a future consideration?

You may not know this but there is a huge industry that's booming right now, "talent acquisition", that is basically about seeing who can throw the most bodies at any given position. I have a close friend who actually works for a company that builds the software recruiters use and imo it's essentially just sophisticated data collection.

Anyways they don't give a flying fuck about you that's why they always sound so cheery and make all these bullshit promises.

No. 416777

Anon, this sounds like schizophrenia.

I don’t blame you for hating her. Next time someone needs to take her to the doctor or the hospital or whatever, they should take her doctor aside privately and mention it. Can’t guarantee help but someone needs to ask for it. (If they haven’t already.)

No. 416778

Have you talked to a doctor about it? Sounds like it could be a vitamin deficiency.

No. 416782

I'm so sick of guys leading me on.

No. 416802

File: 1559405632892.jpeg (16.64 KB, 275x206, 600FED70-00E4-4E70-96EF-BBE49C…)

Why has it taken all my fucking life to realize I’m the problem. I’m not the victim, I never have been and I hate myself for thinking I was this entire time. I want to fucking stop being this person I’m done. I’ve already caused so much damage and I don’t know how to take any of it back.

No. 416808

I mean, the important thing is that you've realized this. Next thing to do might be talking to someone about the steps you can take to rectify some of the things you've done, whether that be a therapist or the person/people you've presumably wronged.

No. 416832

I think under eye hollows are really sexy and I know lots of men who think the same thing. Personally, it makes me get this impression that someone is really interesting, like they stay up all night doing intellectual things or they can't sleep because they think too much. It's really cute. I definitely think it's not worth risking damage to yourself with fillers. You could end up looking totally weird or having nerve damage. If you really don't like them, does concealer not work for you?

No. 416838

File: 1559412495114.jpg (111.72 KB, 1200x1200, gal5856f13e7ac83.jpg)

concealer doesnt work, because theyre actual physical hollows, as in deep depressions, under my eyes. no amount of concealer is going to hide that, because the shadows on my face make them visible. theyre like pic related but worse.

No. 416845

I had the same problem and got fillers. Want to see the difference? It’s crazy.

No. 416847

Why does everyone wear falsies at every occasion now it’s so fucking stupid

No. 416859

Not that anon but plz post, I am seriously considering this.

No. 416861

Nta but curious for future pls post

No. 416868


im >>416755 could you please post, im seriously considering it.

also, how was the experience of getting them?

and once youve gotten it done, can you feel it or do you just not feel anything.

No. 416871

Just want to vent about my sex life. I have a boyfriend and we have sex often but I always have to initiate it. I asked my bf if he could try to start things more often because it makes me feel like he isn't attracted to me and he said he would try but he still doesn't. He said he feels weird starting things because girls in high school used to call him creepy and he doesn't want me to think he's a creep. I was also raped earlier this year and he said he doesn't want me to feel violated if he goes for it. It's really sweet but damn if I don't want him to just go for it and fuck me. I don't really have much else to say, just wanted to complain.

No. 416874

Because I like how they look? Why are you singling that out when things like contour are way more popular and damaging to ideal looks?

No. 416888

File: 1559423703057.jpg (10.73 MB, 4896x4032, junk.jpg)

anyone know how to cope with a parent who is becoming a hoarder and a parent who accomodates their behavior? or do i just need to save up and move out asap…

some of you might read my post and remember me posting about this in vent threads before. pic related is what some of the rooms in the house look like due to my mother. i think she's becoming a hoarder. i'll try to detail as much as possible.

i'm 20 and desperately want to move out but it's really expensive to live on your own here. i commute to college and i also keep the house clean. i admit, i'm a huge neat freak. the kind of person that will get annoyed if someone puts something in the fridge the wrong way. so, i do most of the household chores, and i really prefer it being that way. i am good at cleaning and it makes me feel good, so i do it nearly every day. house is spic and span otherwise, except these few rooms. she's becoming a hoarder. my dad agrees but is enabling her. he says when he watches the hoarder shows my mom acts the way hoarders do when confronted about the state of their home. she is definitely doing what hoarders do early on. she wasn't always like this; she was a neat freak when i was a kid and i'm sure that's half the reason i am such a neat freak.

my mother runs an etsy store and out of all these items, she has around 175 items in her store right now. it takes time for her to list things, because she has to research and figure out what she wants to price it at. yes, she makes good money on the side. but nearly every day she comes home with sometimes BOXES of things. i mean really, hundreds of items. sometimes it's quite literally junk. she puts them wherever, and i rightfully bring it downstairs, as it is my job to keep the house clean and presentable, and i don't need junk littering the tables, the floor, and all surfaces in the house. but the den and basement i don't touch because, well, there's nowhere else to put all her shit. the den is "her" room and she sits in there all day when she's home, bidding on stuff and looking for other sales to go to. when she's not out at one, working, or in the den, she's on her phone in the kitchen, doing what you may guess, looking for other sales and things to bid on.

it's been like this for a few years. it worsened after i started commuting to a nearby university instead of living at the previous college i attended. she used to just buy some neat stuff at sales as decor, and she got me into a lot of unique vintage stuff too. but this is over the top, right? every room she uses becomes this way. her car is disgusting too. i will NOT share a bathroom with her because it ends up looking like these rooms. on top of that, she has been neglecting my father and i, and even herself.

she sleeps on the couch, doesn't shower enough, started smoking again, doesn't sleep much, and only talks to us when she's drinking now that i think about it… i tell her it's rude to stare at her phone instead of making eye contact when we're having a conversation, but she gets angry. my dad says absolutely nothing and sits there like a child. when i try to confront her about all of this, i make sure it's at a time where we aren't busy, have privacy, etc. i don't yell, and i don't call her names. i lay out how i'm feeling and tell her that she honestly needs to change her behavior, etc. my mom will ignore me, cry, or go out to smoke, acting like a pedantic child. last night this happened was Thursday, and when she left to smoke my dad said i was right, but my "approach" was wrong. well then, she needs a fucking therapist. i shouldn't sugarcoat things for her, because that's what my dad does, and it obviously isn't working. this is worsening. my mom is out of her mind and when i ask her where something is, she gets mad because she knows i will comment on her mess, saying well obviously there's a reason she can't find it. i'm sick of this shit. all she does is act like an entitled teenager, and it's freaking me out. i thought I was the kid, not anymore i guess. NOTHING WORKS WITH HER. i tell her i like her hobby, but she needs to list more stuff before she buys more stuff, it doesn't work. i tell her once i move out she will have trouble keeping things clean. according to her, i am just a child and it's HER house so she can do whatever she wants. it's also my dad's house too and he agrees that it's unfair of her to make these impossible messes because we live with her and we have to put up with it. if i ask her to organize anything, she will huff and puff and make every excuse in the book to not do it, and will say she'll do it "someday soon". nothing ever gets done. she says it's all because she works so much. that's bullshit, because on weekends she is at home all day on her fucking computer buying more shit instead of cleaning up. it takes her months to list ANYTHING on etsy and for every hundred items she buys, she will maybe list one of them. i could go on and on, but i think that's the gist of it.

so tell me, farmers, am i the insane mentally ill one here, or is my mother gaslighting me?

No. 416893

File: 1559424182022.png (370.75 KB, 1024x768, 0CAB13E6-9D26-415F-9E54-6E80FE…)

Didn’t hurt really slight pinches. Sore for a few days. Sometimes slight bruising. Sorry for shitty collage I’m on mobile, I hope this can show clearly enough.

No. 416896

wow, it looks fab. how old were you when you got it done?

the difficult thing is that she's almost disguising her hoarding with her business, so it seems reasonable if you don't explain the rest. she's clearly depressed/neglecting herself. you should emphasize this to your dad. this is not great and she needs help.

No. 416898

Yes anon I remember you! Hello, I responded about my mom also doing something similar but never selling anything.
I have a question, how is her behavior towards you? My mom was also abusive so I skedaddled out there ASAP.
You don't deserve to live in this mess and your father enabling her isn't helping. It's obviously affecting the quality of your life. She should set a limit to how many things she can buy have in stock and get a storage space. Maybe discuss this with you father to set up an intervention, if anything you might have to talk to a fire marshal if you think this has become a safety risk.

No. 416899

my dad and i talk about it quite a bit. he says "She'll change, you never know" but i tell him people don't change their behavior if it's enabled constantly… he's almost delusional himself. this is unfair.

No. 416903

my dad likely won't do anything. my mom is completely delusional nowadays, but she wasn't like this at all when i was a kid. she's not abusive towards me, but this whole situation i feel is a little abusive. she even showed my aunt a while ago and my aunt thought it looked fine… which freaked me out a lot.

i can't tell my mom what to do. whenever i have, she says i am just a child and she is the parent so she can do what she wants and i can't tell her what to do.

No. 416904

ty anon, it looks really good. what kind of filler did you get? the doctor im considering only does hyaluronic acid injections.

No. 416905

They are gaslighting you, this is awful.

No. 416906

I was 23 the first time, 27 now and I’ve had it done 3 times. I should probably get a fat graft because it’s costly doing this. I’ve had juvederm and restylane

No. 416914

thank you so much for your help anon! sorry for asking so many questions, but how often do you need to get it done? i was told every few months or so. is there anything you can do to make it last longer?

No. 416919

It seemed to last a year plus for me. I went two years and it hasn’t ever gone back to looking as bad as it did in the before. I can’t do every 6 months causes that’s be crazy. Since it’s so instantaneous, I’d say go get it re-done when it starts to look worse again.

No. 416920

Can you post a smiling pic? ( just of your eyes of course)

No. 416923

File: 1559427677568.jpeg (110.09 KB, 1701x370, B942D1F7-8F2D-494E-B370-606E10…)

I smiled in this one

No. 416928

Why the fuck do people post animal abuse online on normie sites like twitter and Instagram what the fuck is wrong with them I almost watched a man violently kick a cat on my explore page and the caption was like sorry there’s animal abuse! As if there was any reason to post that and of course instagrams report system is so fucked I got a reply a second after reporting that that post was fine I hate that fucking app

No. 416935

It looks great but I feel now insecure and now I'm going to book an appointment too as I have those same ugly hollow eyes.

No. 416939

File: 1559430781517.jpg (44.85 KB, 856x622, yodasad.jpg)

I missed such a huge what if opportunity and really regretting it.
A boy came into the store where I work at and started flirting with me when I was scanning his purchases.
We were getting along so well just talking about whatever was coming into our heads smiling and laughing. I can't believe how something like that can make me feel so delighted.
This is the first time a boy came onto me in a public space and it felt so magical and surreal because I have never experienced it before. I live in the pacific northwest and boys here are just so reserved that they don't really try approaching or flirting with girls. He said we should exchange numbers and I declined on impulse like an idiot. After he left I just felt upset the rest of the work shift. I just kept rethinking the whole interaction from when he entered the store. I didn't perceive him as anyone special then by the time he left it was like I saw him in a completely diffrent light.

I have only managed to start relationships through dating apps but after this I really don't want to try starting a relationship through them ever again. I get so many matches online that it makes me overwhelmed. None of any of those online matches and meetings with any of the dates I went on have given me this special exciting feeling of being flirted with in person at a completely unexpected time and place with someone who I just encountered. Dating apps make everything feel so pre-planned.I really want this kind of thing to happen to me again because it felt so exciting but it just feels so unlikely it will. But I'm so unconvinced because of this silent cultural stigma thats arisen that discourages boys from approaching to flirt with girls they don't know in public. Do most boys have this internal condemnation for themselves that approaching and expressing an interest in a girl they have a healthy natural attraction and want to get to know better isn't appropriate if its in a public place and only okay on a dating app?

I wish we had a culture that encouraged boys to actually take risks to flirt and ask us out in person instead of taking the dating app way. I really wish that would change?
I've just been so down on myself for screwing up what could of been such an interesting start to a relationship to actually learn about someone and they learn about me over time. We were getting along so well when we were talking. I miss having a boyfriend and having intimate moments together. I want to feel wanted by someone and I don't know if he's ever going to come back into the shop again.

No. 416941

>I wish we had a culture that encouraged boys to actually take risks to flirt and ask us out in person instead of taking the dating app way. I really wish that would change?
Ugh, don't you realize how hard women have been fighting to STOP random men approaching them? Sure, it's great if it's a cute and nice guy you actually want to date, but 99% of the time it's going to be some old, entitled creep. Get some perspective. You can take risks yourself if you want to flirt with randoms so bad.

No. 416942

This. Approach boys yourself, lonely anon. Accumulate big clit energy and charge in there and take what you want. Flirt with qt cashiers at other shops.

No. 416943

My thoughts exactly. I love attention from a cute and respectful guy who genuinely gets along. But I also recall being solicited by absolute entitled creeps who would throw tantrums if I wasn't polite.
I used to work at a grocery store as a late teen and I cashiered. I'll never forget having to write a fake number down on a piece of receipt paper because there wasn't any other way I could have gotten this older, ugly, and pushy man out of my lane when he insisted I give him mine.

No. 416946

I have approached boys before and tried to give them hints that I'm interested in them but they never seem to work out and they always seem avoidant to actually dating me and getting into relationships. Lot of my friends took the reins in approaching boys and they get into relationships with them. Maybe there is a trick to it I just keep missing.
I guess I'm just being greedy because it just felt so good to have a boy make the first move to flirt with me since thats never really happened and I want it to happen again. Made me feel really womanly which is nice because I'm told I'm kind of masculine.

Sorry to hear that you got harassed by old men who should clearly know better.

No. 416948

Men are autistic and can't take a hint for anything. Literally say the words "would you like to go on a date with me?" to them. This is why gender roles are retarded.

No. 416950

You've gotta ask them out/ask for their number. There are no hints with men.
Oddly enough I feel opposite to you, I hate being hit on because it makes me anxious somehow. Approaching guys feels right though, probably since the men I like are unconventional and I like flattering them.

Sorry I didn't see this until now, anon! (pun unintended)
YEAH, I've seen people with long ass nails putting them in sloppily and overwearing them and not having problems so assumed it would be smooth sailing.
I got the disposable kind so I don't even keep them after wearing them once, thinking this would protect me from any issues. Not the case I guess. Although I am suspecting they may be too small? I recall my optometrist said I have oval eyes or something at the time.
Of course my paranoid ass is now afraid I have glaucoma despite being checked when I got my contacts. Hopefully not.

Thank you for your well wishes anyway! I hope you continue to be infection free because eye pain is annoying and scary as fuck.

No. 416952

I'm really sorry about your situation anon, I know how you feel. My mum has a pretty obsessive nature, and she was consumed with eBay and accumulating shit that we didn't need because "just in case", and she was adamant that she had to keep everything. Since she sold stuff on eBay (very occasionally), she was constantly buying things to resell and it overtook our house. Fortunately, she kinda hopped onto the minimalism/marie kondo trend and with my help has been slowly letting go of things and realising she's happier with less. I think the minimalism trend was the kick up the arse and motivation that got her to the point were I don't think she'll slip back into her hoarding habits.

In my opinion, it seems like the only way to improve how your mum is, is with professional help. It's really difficult when people (especially people we only wish the best for) view us trying to help as a personal attack and become defensive in retaliation. There's this documentary by Jasmine Harmon on youtube where she tries to help her hoarder mother and one thing that always stuck with me is that it gets to a point were when you're trying to help these people, you're only really putting yourself through more hurt and becoming more frustrated and angry than the person hoarding, and that'll make you resent them more. When you're living at home surrounded by the hoard it's a different story though, it's painful to watch a family member get dragged down by this disorder with little to no way of getting through to them.

I really hope things improve for you ♥

No. 417005

are you the anon with the mom who bought like, vintage lamps?

No. 417007

Have you guys ever had a time where you just felt like everything is broken? It’s been 100F here lately and our central air has been fucked. We buy a window unit for our office where we usually hang out and it starts tripping the breaker. Our landlord isn’t even concerned about the A/C and it’s stressing me the fuck out.

No. 417010

don’t think that was me. out of the thousands of pieces she has, she has only two lamps lol. i don’t recall posting about lamps at all.

No. 417013

YES. that sounds like shit but here's my list of garbage i need to repair, and but i own, so i'm totally fucked:
- need pipes replaced bc they're literally a banned material and are going to burst and destroy my house any time now ($10,000 job)
- water heater replaced ($1000)
- lighting replaced ($1000)
- new washer/dryer ($1200)
- carpet needs to be replaced because it's so worn down that i'm falling down the stairs ($1000)

like all absolute necessities i need now and it's overwhelming as fuck.

i don't think whoever it was specifically said lamps. someone posted a picture of this ugly yellow vintage hanging lamp on a table or something and they were also not american

No. 417017

i feel like i’m probably a bad girlfriend. i love male attention and i am in love with my bf and he’s incredibly sweet, but isn’t very emotional, doesn’t initiate things, and doesn’t give much affection anymore. i get a lot of attention from men and i have very elaborate fantasies and just wish i could cheat sometimes… i’m usually seen as pretty hot by most men so i feel like most guys would be over the moon to be with me, whilst my boyfriend is just like, meh. i know he loves me and is just going through a rough time but i kinda feel neglected and i get so horny and he is never in the mood…

No. 417033

Having a crush on a guy irl is causing me to realize how extremely socially retarded I am when it comes to these things. I just can’t tell if he likes me and I’m too much of a spineless coward to straight up ask him out. Do people do that? Just ask someone, “do you want to go on a date”? I often wonder if I accidentally blown him off because of my cluelessness and my cowardice. I was even alone with him in his room one time talking about our emotions and he’s invited me to events a few times that I passed on.

No. 417035

im losing a friend to the tradfem side of the internet and I am sad about it. i hope she snaps out of this phase before she’s stuck in a rushed marriage and pregnant.

No. 417044

How old is she?

No. 417059

>be me and apartment hunting

>sees an ad for a really, really pretty and cheap place
>gets excited
>gets even more excited when the utilities are being listet as super low as well
>almost contacts the owner
>then read where this flat is
>it's in one of the worst areas in my town where it's not safe to go out after late night, specially when you are woman.

Bruh, I'm fucking crying. It's such a nice place, it has a small balcony and you can reach your sleeping area through a pretty circular stair. But fuck I'm not interested to live in a area where it's full of immigrant gangs and such things. My grandma lived in the same street for a few years and her apartment got robbed smh.

I want to finally find a place for myself. It almost worked but it got cancelled because the previous owner got her new place cancelled so she couldn't move out UGH
I also don't want to pay most of my income on a tiny ass place so a low rant is a huge factor…

No. 417061

My life has been very surreal lately.
My long-term girlfriend broke up with me and my friend group is a mess over it because they're our mutual friends. I've lost not only the first person I've ever truly loved and cared about and to whom I devoted half a decade of my life, but also most of my social circle. And my fucking will to live too, because while I was severely depressed/suicidal most of my life, she made me want to live, was my reason for living, was the brightest most loveliest presence. I could only ever think about the future when I thought about her in it. And now I have to see her on our friend groups shared gatherings and I feel like dying even more because she acts like nothing has ever happened between us and our friends are so obviously on her side it hurts.
And my two best friends who aren't wrapped up in this… hate each other because they had relationships with my previous ex and use me for talking shit about each other and instigating drama and I fall for it every time because I'm retarded socially. I like them both, but it's so exhausting and hurtful to be stuck between them, also knowing that all this shit is happening because of my previous ex who abused me for years. Just being constantly reminded of things I want to forget to fuel drama between two people who ended up on different sides of a break-up.

At this point I hope I never fall in love ever again. I hope I never have friends again. I just want to drop everyone and everything and go live in the forest.
Largely because most of it is my own damn fault. I should have died a long-long time ago. Before I've found happiness and stability with the person I love only for it to be ruined and taken from me. I don't want to be left picking up all these pieces that prove that my life has fallen apart completely.
I am so fucking tired.

No. 417085

spiralling into that shit 'I'm worthless and life is pointless' way again. I wish I had a cute bf and a couple of nice friends and was financially stable. Feels impossible man.

No. 417093

For friends and bf be all of that yourself (everyone who posts on lcf is capable to be that)
As for financial stability…why can't you get that? Debts? What happened?

No. 417106

broke up with bf because i was tired of it all. still miss him. turned 25 recently, and even though i accomplished a dream of mine last year, from now on i have no idea what to do. i still haven't graduated undergrad (not necessarily my fault, needed to happen but still), i don't know what i want, even though i have friends i always feel alone, i have no motivation to work on my skills anymore, i don't enjoy anything and don't want to do anything. my sleep schedule is completely nocturnal, my flat is a mess. my life is slipping away and i have no motivation to catch it. i feel like it's already too late. people find their passions and work on them before they're 25. i've lost both my parents and i think losing my mom broke me. i'll never feel fully supported again. i should probably get therapy but i'm broke. i hate myself constantly and do nothing to improve it. then keep on hating myself because of i do nothing to improve it.

No. 417114

Having a relationship will not fix your depression and will only make your life feel slightly more fulfilling. You will still have a lot of shitty days and days where you want to kill yourself except now you can't because you're with someone.

No. 417125

Can confirm. I've been depressed and suicidal most of my life and it ruined my relationship because I am a huge drain on everyone and my gf tried to be very, very patient with me… until I attempted suicide. She just couldn't handle it and we drifted apart.
I know friends/loved ones can help, but all I can think of now that I lost them all is that I put them through so much shit by being an unstable mess. They didn't deserve it. I hope they're with happier more sane people nowadays. And I can find comfort knowing that nobody has to suffer because of me ever again.

No. 417126

She seems to just mean that she desires an OK life but I'm not sure:
>wants a stable wallet
>wants nice friends
>and a cute bf
That's normal. Bf should be the last thing on her list, wallet first. And she knows what to do to get a stable wallet, and I am not assuming she's in a shitty country right now.

No. 417158

File: 1559489728979.jpg (10.84 KB, 275x206, 1529363700253.jpg)

I just left a family gathering and I met one of my dads brothers who I said "I don't remeber you" to when I was younger. I don't ever recall doing that or even knowing the guy, but my entire family recalls the incident. I feel like a dick

No. 417173

you were a kid and kids say dumb shit. don't feel bad about that lmao.

i once told one of my uncles when i was like, 4, "don't talk to me. i don't like you." when he greeted me once and it's just something people laugh off. kids are kids.

though that particular uncle really is a dick though, so my parents find it especially funny that i told him basically what everyone was thinking.

No. 417178

She wants it because she thinks it's going to make her problems go away or that it'll relieve emotional stress when that isn't the case if your life is truly shit and are dealing with trauma. She's romanticizing very small, normal things.

No. 417225

I can't help but feel like this is a bad move. I had this online friend since 2017 though we went months without talking. And I fell for him those last 3 weeks, it's been amazing. I've never felt so good. He knows all the good and bad of me. But today he told me that he still has "things to solve" with his ex who he broke up with 2 months ago. About 2 weeks ago she wanted to talk to him too, and he told me she wanted to go back to him. And he says he's very firm in his position, he doesn't want the relationship back, yet he'll go there grab a coffee and have a chat with her to solve those "things" to allow him to become more emotionally available today - almost his wrods exactly.
I had already made plans to visit him on his city this year. I just feel crushed. I deleted his number. That's what I've been doing, so I can't initiate a conversation even if I really want to, no matter how drunk I may get.
I just can't, why was he talking to me being all lovey dovey and making plans if his mind is still with his ex somewhere, even if he has no intentions of rebounding? for fuck's sake, I'm just so tired. But I feel like I'm taking the wrong decision still… I told him I would distance myself and that I felt hurt, I feel so stupid. In my book, if you have no children or there's no divorce papers to sign there's no reason to keep seeing an ex.

No. 417243

holy shit my boyfriend is boring lately. all he does is talk about one particular video game. i brought it up that it has been a lot lately and i want to know what else has been going on with him and he got defensive and was like "you know what is a lot? when you talk about onision" kek. it's true, i did have a pretty good onion rant the other day.
i don't even think i would care if it was a game with a story or characters but it's only some online shooting game. i don't need a play by play for his every match ahhhhh

No. 417246

>"you know what is a lot? when you talk about onision"
Lmfao, anon. At least what your talking about is more entertaining. If all my bf talked about was his online matches in some shooter, I'd be bored as fuck too and think "you really need to get some hobbies" lol.

No. 417253

After months of being free of anxiety attacks, I'm having one again. I'm starting a new job tomorrow, I'm nervous as fuck, and my boyfriend is getting on my nerves.
Yesterday I cooked a bit too much and I told him to save the leftovers so I can take it with me at work. He just put it all in a bowl and left it in the fridge, no cover or anything. Of course it's all dry and bad now. I threw a little fit because he always does the same thing, he felt kinda guilty and ordered food. That's good, but we ate outside today, I overate and feel sick by thinking about food, and he ordered dinner too despite me telling him 4 or 5 times I won't be able to eat. Now more food to go bad. We're not poor but I grew up in a poor family and always feel like shit about wasting food.
It doesn't help that my period is late by a week. Our condom broke and I took the morning after pill so it could be a side effect but I'm scared as fuck. I can afford an abortion but I panic at the thought of being denied one in this catholic shithole of a country. I never wanted kids and never will. I wish they would let me tie my tubes already.

No. 417259

>but damn if I don't want him to just go for it and fuck me.
Because in most situations, that's rape.

No. 417263

Anon let's be best friends and bitch about Onion, this made me actually lol. Sometimes my bf and friends wish I wouldn't share about lolcows with them, especially since I've introduced them to the worst shit via that, but my bf isn't allowed to tell me to shut up about horrorcows since he introduced me to Deeker and Pamperchu first lmao…I'm way more into following cows but I think he sort of understands the appeal since he's followed a few and it's more interesting than discussing muh pew pew vidya replays.

No. 417269

>"you know what is a lot? when you talk about onision"
dead lmao, but still that's more interesting than a video game. At least it's only a recent thing and not his entire personality because I dated a guy like that and it was awful.

No. 417274

I want to roleplay, but the communities of my country are full of lolicon weeaboos, misogynists and incels.

Why is finding normal people on the internet so fucking difficult nowadays…

No. 417278

lurking my ex's instagram. it's almost been a year since our break up and it finally doesn't feel traumatic to think of her. i guess i'm looking to see if hopefully she's doing poorly

No. 417279

Oldschool Runescape has a rp server which can be really fun. It's a really chill community and a relaxing game, beware though that players can be extremely autistic. It's mostly harmless but the inside humour and certain sub-communities like PvPers are liquid aspergers.

No. 417280

my love related loneliness is starting to eat away at me. i don't know how an inherently romantic person, basically the hopeless romantic character trope, could be so devoid of finding love. the more i lack a partner the more my soul literally withers away and dies. i can feel it. i don't know what the issue is, i don't know if i'm doomed to not find a guy because that's what's going to slowly kill me, or what, despite other areas of my life being generally well balanced and downright great. not to mention i turn 23 this year, my maternal senses are starting to slowly creep up on me, and the thought of being in my mid 20s without a soulmate or even foreseeable prospect of starting a family would be fucking suffocating, not to mention maybe even suicidal. i can feel myself becoming more and more tired. i don't know if i'm just really ugly, especially in comparison to my friends, despite generally having a huge amount of self confidence and a healthy ego i'm really starting to feel like i might be a disgusting fucking freak and it's all down to my looks.

No. 417295

did anyones lives majorly change for the better after losing a lot of weight? I'm a long way to go but honestly I'm more just wanting to gain more confidence in myself than anything. I'm scared I'll lose the weight and still feel the exact same.

No. 417306

I hate what smartphones and the spread of 4g did to my relationship. 10 years ago, it wasn't a thing and either you'd have to get up and fire up the computer or just do something else. Maybe get out a netbook to watch something in bed.
Now, it's phone time, 24/7. In bed at night? Reading reddit on phone. Riding the subway? Hearthstone on phone. Having a date? Let's still check what's being said in the discord chat. I don't use it as much, I know it's detrimental and even though it's tempting I have started policing myself to grab a book instead or just look around.

But it's even more exhausting to look at him being constantly on his phone. I feel second and I'm clearly not able to compete for this attention with something as grabbing as the internet.
But then again, maybe it's just that the relationship is over and I'm deluding myself.

No. 417307

I lost a decent amount, roughly ~80 pounds back in 2014 but I still had horrible self-esteem. Barely any full body photos of me exist even though I was the lightest I'd been in my adult life. I felt like I got more male attention but I attracted the same abusive types because of my confidence and overcompensation issues. Probably scared off anyone decent because I wasn't happy at the center. I didn't notice any difference in the way anyone else treated me, and even at an average weight I still got dogged occasionally online for being ~fatty~.

I have a friend who lost a fuckton of weight, I believe over 100 pounds if not more, and now she's skinny. She's suffering the same self-confidence issues though. I feel really, really badly because of what she's going through and wish she didn't feel the way she does. She's told me she's very depressed and suicidal.

tl;dr work on your self-esteem now because it doesn't get magically better with weight loss for everyone.

No. 417308

>finding clothes is so much easier
>feel comfy in body thanks to exercise
>more confident around men, posture improved greatly
>don't feel like shit the same way I did after eating awful food
But I do struggle with dysmorphia and feeling like I'm still a BIG OGRESS even when I'm not, and have just found other things to dislike when the mood strikes (hair, nose, skin, etc.)

Like >>417307 said you need to work on your mental health alongside your regular health. The higher the amount you lose the more dramatic the BDD may be, too. So keep that in mind.
But personally I'm still even sort of chunky-average and I feel great most of the time.

No. 417309

File: 1559528593722.png (69.76 KB, 500x450, you-thought-it-was-doge-but-it…)

>second time in a row I've had a boring, milquetoast date off Tinder despite the person coming off as really interesting and nice via messages
>mfw the food was shite at the restaurant he picked too and now I'm dressed up for nothing and the evening is wasted

No. 417311

Ban smart phones from the bedroom. I agreed to do this with my husband and it has helped our relationship because we talk and cuddle before going to sleep instead of browsing through irrelevant shit online. We still make allowances for when there's an actual need to be near a phone, such as when a family member is ill.

No. 417313

I swear to god my upstairs neighbor purposefully stomps around and drops stuff just to piss me off. I've never met this bitch but she's up literally all hours of the day walking around, no exaggeration (and I can tell it's a woman because she's wearing heels half the time and talks on the phone so. loudly. that I can hear her conversations clearly). I don't even think it's worth leaving a note or talking to her because she'll probably just be even louder and more annoying. Why the fuck is she walking around all day and all night? It sounds like she's moving furniture around all the time too like wtf is going on!!! It's gotten so I can't even sleep at night, even with earplugs in, because the sound is at such a low decibel that I can still hear it. The person who lived above me before her was not loud at all and I rarely heard them walk around so I'm confused as to how she's even making so much noise. I'm moving to a different apartment complex soon but idk how I'm going to make it through the next couple weeks having not slept well in like a month

No. 417319

upstairs neighbors, man.

No. 417320

Im so sorry anon, this was literally my life all throughout college (shit infastructure + loud college kids with nothing better to do then fuck around) have you contacted the front office? If they dont do anything what always worked for me was puttimg in ear plugs and running a white noise app at full volume

No. 417330

I’m so sick but probably have to go to work tonight anyway because so far nobody’s offered to take my shift yet and I have to leave for work in only 3.5 hours. I was sick from like 2 days ago but it was just my throat, so I worked the last 2 days sounding like a 60 year old chain smoker. Yesterday I didn’t have an appetite and barely ate anything solid, but today my whole body is aching and I feel so weak, my throat feels swollen and painful, and I just feel sick, you know? Like when you can almost smell/taste/feel the sickness inside you? I also have no appetite. Been awake 6 hours and only ate a bit of bread and some crackers.

I hate the work conditions here sometimes. I like my job generally but we literally don’t get sick days and can basically only take days off if somebody can cover us.

I’m kinda bitter too because literally everybody else that’s been sick in the past ~6 months has had somebody take their shift or the management has just said it’s ok, stay home, but fuck me i guess. This is the first sick day I try to take since like maybe November? There’s still time so I’m hoping for that message soon but fuck me if I have to go

No. 417341

That's when you start sneezing on door handles and coughing up a lung while 'accidentally' forgetting to cover your mouth.
Fuck workplaces with no sick policies and fuck coworkers who only want a team when it's to their benefit.

No. 417352

Woke myself up at 2am to get some work done. Did absolutely no work and I'm exhausted. Also feeling empty and like there's no point to anything. I hate myself.
Wtf is wrong with me.

No. 417366

This is why I only have a dumbphone. Can't believe after spending the 00s being a weirdo for spending all day on the internet I'm now the abnormally sensible one just for not being online every single waking hour even when socializing like everyone else is. Maybe for a day or two in 2012 I had the normal amount of internet usage.

No. 417372

I would go dumbphone but I need to check mails for work.
Honestly, I would like to stop using internet so much but it has been my default for so much time now that I actually don't know how. Even half a day without feel daunting and weird. I get antsy, about to have a panic attack and have no idea what to do with myself even if I plan stuff to do. I'd need a professional intervention and it would still be hard since I have an internet related job.
Maybe I should go full hipster, go raise goats in the country and it would finally cure all of my anxiety.

No. 417378

I think my ex’s ex is going to commit suicide and honestly there’s a part of me who hopes he goes through with it considering they ruined my life

No. 417393

Ruined it how?

No. 417403

Went behind my back and cheated on me after a many years relationship
Dragged me into their relationship drama
Manipulated my feelings and hurt to pretty much drive me to self harm and almost suicide
It’s a long story …
But he had the nerve after to apologize for ruining my life then turn around and trash talk me when I called out his stupid apology
He’s a stalker who won’t leave me alone and has affected my job and my life because he’s crazy

No. 417406

Thank you for expounding. I'm now on your side completely.

No. 417426

I am trying to read some of the Beauty Parlor threads on KIwifarms because they cover some cows that don't have a thread here like Tess Holliday, who is both a literal and figurative cow.

But holy shit, I think some of the chicks there would shut up about shit that doesn't matter. For example, I don't care that you don't find nose rings unattractive. Not that I care for them myself but it's annoying seeing someone act like they're the end all be all on style, especially when nose rings are becoming relatively mainstream these days.

Also I wish that people here and there would shut up about cow's looks. I'm guessing that a ton of people online who like to make fun of people's looks aren't the hottest looking themselves irl. Soooo many times the most vicious people aren't hot shit.

No. 417427

Well, if he commits suicide you probably have to deal with a bunch of people saying how bad they feel he did that and feeling sorry for him, kek.

No. 417445

I'm tired of other Asian second-gen immigrants to the west who constantly complain about how terrible white people and act like only white people have a problem with being racist or discriminatory.

These people would never move back to their parents' home countries. It's not just because of living standards or wages. It's because we second-gen kids who grew up speaking English would never get accepted as real Chinese/Korean/etc. It's not only the West that has a problem accepting second-gen immigrants.

I also think it's bizarre that these people can't find anything to be grateful for about living in the West. I know some Asian immigrants were refugees whose lives are depended on leaving, but most were voluntary. Nobody forced them to come here. Was it just about money?

If you don't like living in the West that's your prerogative, but you should have the guts to admit that your parents could have stayed home and gone through a lot less.

No. 417455

Honestly any immigrant who acts like their home country is so great and perfect should probably just move back home. For what it's worth, I'm an immigrant too and that shit is straight up obnoxious. There's a reason why you moved.

No. 417476

I hate how second/third gen Asian immigrants in the west act like they magically know everything about (japan/Korea/China/whatever) just because they’re genetically Asian. They think they know more about those countries than non Asians who actually live in them. Like last time I checked you don’t gain experiences through your DNA. I had some obese Asian American twitter cam girl attack me bc I said something about how bad the sex industry is in Japan and she went all “you’re white, shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t talk about my country” like bitch you were born and raised in Florida. Apparently just having Japanese parents makes you more knowledgeable about Japan than somebody who is white but has lived there long term. I still don’t understand that logic, how tf does that make ANY SENSE?

Had another one go off on me saying “white people are evil and dangerous” bc I made a joke about how H&M japan is replacing their products with special Asian fit ones so now their pants are too short for me.

Asian Americans need to chill

No. 417493

it's a cope for other Asian people's aggressive white fever.

No. 417496

I'm going into work drunk tomorrow. nothing matters.

No. 417498

You deserve to be mocked and have your opinions dismissed if you're white and you've moved to Japan, or Korea. I get secondhand embarrassment whenever I encounter one of you weirdos online. Weebs are the most obnoxious people I've ever had the misfortune to encounter.

No. 417515

Show me on the doll where the weeaboo touched you anon

No. 417529

I like to tie a rope on my closet and hang from it when I'm feeling sad but I can't indulge too much because I'm very pale and my skin gets bruised easily, that purple mark would be hard to explain. So most of the time I just put a plastic bag on my head, wrap it on my neck and masturbate. I usually do this when I'm sad because it makes me feel very euphoric afterwards even if it's very uncomfortable during it, the gasping for air sensation and the bag slowly starting to cling to your skin, your heart beating super fast, I start to kick everything… I'm not afraid of dying, I'd consider it a positive outcome, I feel sorry for my mom though.

No. 417531

File: 1559579199626.png (85.71 KB, 1124x937, Def16UPW0AE68Mr.png)

What's wrong with liking yaoi? It's pretty much the only form of smut I can enjoy since I can't identify/project onto the protagonists because I'm female. Anything sexual with a woman in it tends to make me uncomfortable because women are just treated so badly and are obviously not enjoying themselves. It's all so rapey. I can't even into gay porn because the men are ugly.

No. 417534

My sis is working in Japan at the moment, and she's never watched an episode of anime in her life.

No. 417538

I thought that this was kinda weird until I read >>417529. At least you won't your fam will never need to lie at your funeral about how you passed away.

No. 417539

I'm not the faggot who posted about yaoi. I don't even watch anime.

No. 417541

I don't feel like that anon was implying that you were. Reading comprehension, anon.

No. 417544

I'm just drunk. Sorry.

No. 417555

You say that like it changes anything. She still had to have put in a good amount of effort for quite a while to be prepared to move there. Between Europe and the Anglosphere nations there aren't a shortage of countries she could have moved to without seeming like a shameless beggar turning up uninvited to a strangers house.

No. 417559

Not her but what that anon said could be applied to other countries and nationalities. The thing about Asian Americans bragging about their parents' countries isn't something I can talk about because I've never been to the USA in my entire life but this reminded me of 2nd gen kids and young adults from my country (which I am too) who only go to their parents' or grandparents' countries only for the holidays and in hotels or resorts. My own siblings are like that too and it's obnoxious because they barely know anything about our culture and how people live in their everyday lives but they pretend they know more than other people from our diaspora.

No. 417561

What? You think all people just move to a random country because they want to? Lmao, what about work relocation, or family, or company projects?

No. 417564

I didn't say the 2nd gen kids aren't cringy. I just don't think they're as bad as the weebs they argue with.
Yeah lmao. Because its so much harder to switch jobs than learn a new language and move all your possessions to the other side of the planet. Obviously that's what happened.

No. 417589

File: 1559594283825.png (76.99 KB, 810x427, c50.png)

Can't stop thinking about a guy who I made shit his pants when I talked to him back in February.
It's probably just the mystique since he never let me talk to him again, and moments that gave me a chance to follow up I failed to take advantage of.
He just gave me very mixed signals. Despite all of this he also smiled and said hi to me shyly afterwards but also wouldn't stop once to actually talk to me. Did he just have anxiety? I'll never know.

But I'm so stuck on him. I'm kicking myself for not even approaching him with an "I'm sorry if I bothered you when we last talked haha!" when I had several chances. Or I could have complimented his haircut when he got it right after we spoke so he knew I wasn't teasing him. idk.

No. 417607

I want to kill this fucking guy. We were friends for years, then we fell for each other in the past month. It was so good, I've never felt this good. Then his ex comes back wanting to talk to him, and despite saying he doesn't want to go back to the relationship because of reasons, he still talks to her. Fuck. I blocked him, I don't even care, can't keep feelings for a guy who's still feels like he has business to solve about a relationship that ended 2 months ago. I'm so fucking angry and hurt.

No. 417614

Did anybody else ever experience a constant but calm anger inside of you? idk how to explain it but I feel that there is constantly something that angers me since a long time and I have many times a day the feeling that I could burst out in anger but then I literally swallow that feeling and it returns in a way.

A long time ago I told myself that it's pointless to be angry about anything because everybody around me won't take it serious any way ("lol anon, why are you mad?" or "you are so funny when you are angry").

I start to believe that it already causes some physical effects, like my period is kind of different and I crunch with my teeth, even during the day until I realize what I'm doing.

Idk what's going on, I also stopped to confront people because any type of discussion seems to lead into nothing so I just ghost people and stop talking.

No. 417617

Yeah because everybody who does that is a weeaboo/koreaboo. But go off if it makes you feel better bitter Asian-American san.

No. 417618

I'm sorry Brienne, Jamie is an incestuous shitlord and you deserve better.

No. 417621

Damn, you sound just like I was a year ago.
For me it was just how I externalize anxiety (along with hypochondria). I'd get explosively angry over nonsense like high pitched voices and being sweaty. I punched and broke things because of tripping on the floor. And when it came to concepts that directly inspired anxiety (negative social situations, failure, unpredictable circumstances) I'd punch or cut myself. Just existing in the world, especially around people, was overwhelming and made me constantly on the edge of rage. I also ghosted people because they tired me out.

I'm still like it sometimes but have managed to reduce it. Exercise helps, as well as talking to someone about whatever anxiety I have at the moment. idk if you have any trauma, but it can definitely manifest as anger issues too. I'd recommend therapy if you don't have anyone in your life who will take you seriously.

Best of luck, anon.

No. 417625

I don't think you know how steady, well paid jobs work.

No. 417631

My bf consistently lies to me. Every time recently I go out with him and his friends all these secrets he's tried to keep comes out. He's been back to sniffing drugs. The nights he's been doing it we've had awful fights in which I couldn't comprehend his behaviour or action. Then the next day I'm devastated waiting on an apology and he's not concerned to discuss. Idk if he even is aware of his shit.

He's been so jaded with work and fixing up a house he bought. He's been living in a shell of a house for 6 months. It's not safe and every morning he goes to his dad's for a shower. I have a place but it would be a 3 hour commute for him to work and back plus he wants to work on his house. I'm hopefully relocating to him end of the year we kind of talked about it (we've been dating for over 4 years).

I went through a bad period with him 2 years ago when he was addicted to diazepams and sniffing powders and all sorts it got scary and violent but he reassured me enough to give him another chance.

He's obviously keeping shit from me because he quit before to show remorse and was back on track got a new job saved a deposit got his house but the pressure is exasperating his anxiety etc and I can't take the lying.

It's been ridiculous lately. Friday I went out with him and a friend and we went to his local. He's able to get drugs there it's not exactly a nice place and I don't enjoy it but I'm really trying with my bf since it's been toughy lately. He ended up inviting these complete strangers back to his house and I was low-key scared the entire time. One looked like a rapist and started talking about stabbing people and always being angry. There was a young guy supplying the drugs and hitting on me. My bf did not give one fuck because he was getting what he wanted. He did not care either that I was witnessing this and hearing about him being in this bar 3 times a week regularly. Sniffing drugs on work nights out when he gives me this whole shite about how worried he is about his job and always working late to keep his job. He can't be that fucking concerned risking doing class fucking As around them. I picked him up one of these nights and he was horrible towards me and I couldn't understand how he was so drunk. I couldn't even stay with him that night he was being nasty then the next day I came to check on him and he had a fucking gash on the side of his face because he fell?

I know this all sounds mental and he's not sounding great but I just want him to tell me the truth about everything. Friday night he got in this heated argument with a girl in his local that kept calling him her boyfriend and he was telling her to chill and my gf over there. Then I was out smoking and she came out and she was crying to her friends about how she's not a slut and not that type of girl. I tried asking him about it but his lips are fucking sealed. I wish truth serum was a real thing. I fucking hate being lied too

No. 417634

Holy hell. You need to love yourself more. Break up with him.

No. 417636

Unless you want to, in the future, be living in a half-done house with a baby, unmarried, while his dodgy friends continue to take drugs and talk about stabbing people I would bail now

It's not really going to get better from here, sorry to say, and those friends and dangerous places (which he needs to go to for drug availability!!) seem like a liability. I may sound prissy here and judgemental but very few guys like this are able to drop their bad habits and grow up, and it seems like a horrible environment to be potentially stuck in.

No. 417637

Just read the last bit about having a public fight with his side-ho in front of you. Uuuugvvhhh why Anon

Get out of there. What a fuckin' mess.

No. 417639

He swears he's never cheated on me but obviously he lies so I'm doubtful. He does come up and spend days at my place sometimes. The girl in question was all over these other 2 guys and was fighting with them in the smoking area too. I couldn't tell if she was denying going home with one of them when she went on about the slut stuff. I did ask my bf at the time wtf that was about she was sitting at the bar and idk if she was just looking a drink. He did say he'd call her over to prove it but I just want to say this was like a paramilitary bar and the girl in question looked like she wouldn't hesitate to get in a fight. Funny thing was I was chatting to her earlier in the night before that but I was with my friend while bf was sniffing gear in the toilets. But obviously I don't trust him.

I know the whole thing is hopeless I just want to feel vindicated somehow by knowing everything. He left for work this morning he stayed up cuz he knew I was annoyed at him but he didn't want to talk about it. I've been down all day over thinking but maybe it's not overthinking it's justified you know. I'm just venting I'm so mad it's made me so unproductive all day and sick. I know if he makes me this upset consistently it's over I'm just so sad.

No. 417642

This gave me a good genuine laugh. Thank you anon, for brightening up my shitty day.

No. 417666

You're not overthinking this, it is justified. There's so many red flags there you could start up your own store.

Regarding the lies, he absolutely is not telling you even half of what happens/what he does, the girl is a bit of a clue. What has happened between them that could lead to her calling him her boyfriend? It just seems like he spends a lot of time hanging around with literal strangers, as you said. All judgement aside it's just not safe to have so many aggressive strangers thinking they are connected to him, presumably all gained/met on previous drugged up nights out. I would be unsure and unsettled in that situation too.

No. 417680

If I'm going to get treated like crap by men anyway I might as well take my chances with someone hot. No point in being miserable with someone average.

No. 417681

Average men appear to be the most entitled, well, second only to ugly and/or fat men

No. 417683

My crush likes me back but I feel like if I decide to pursue him, I'm only getting in his way or that he'll eventually leave me for someone once he gets bored of me. I know I'm feeling this way because of my mental illness but he's so hot and he just seems much more well-adjusted than me and has a lot more going for him and did a lot more.
I feel so sad, suspiscious, and sick that things are going too smoothly for me for once. I don't want to lose him because of my insecurities but I can't shake him off right now since he claims to like me so much. I hate myself.

No. 417705

>incel cries that women dont give him a chance
>woman gives him a chance and he gains confidence from this
>proceeds to treat said girl like trash
>dumps girl because he feels he can do better
>realizes he cant do better after a few months
>proceeds to hate women and become bitter towards them again

It's a cycle I've been caught up in with men way too many times…

No. 417757

I can't deal with any criticism at work even tho it's not mean and it's constructive.
Yesterday I made a mistake and in the heat of the moment it seems I didn't apologize so today a superior told me to not forget to say sorry and once she left I felt like crying. Idk if it's because they're all women and I wish they'd appreciate my work and like me when they obviously don't and talk about me behind my back (either just a little bit if I only trust what I've actually overheard or a lot if I count the ones speaking in another language and pointing at me or suddenly whispering when I'm nearby) but ugh. I'm not even doing such a bad job for someone who's been here for a month, but I'm desperately thirsty for some praise (which is pathetic, I know.)
How do I stop needing validation so bad?

No. 417771

I booked appointments for a possible trainee at work and I can't help but feel like he's going to replace me. He's probably more competent.
I have some much left to do to complete my degree and been putting it all off, they're probably going to let me go. And then I'll have to go search for a another job with my full of gaps resume and absolutely no self confidence.
I feel like killing myself already. Would be easier than going through it all.
Also my psychologist appointment has been randomly canceled. The guy has to go through emergency surgery. I guess it's a sign.

No. 417779

I always eat at night, therefore my closet and drawers are packed with sweets and rubbish.
Yesterday while I wasn't home my mom went into my room and got a piece of cloth that I wanted to wash. She's never done that in years. It was hanging on a clothes rack, but I still worry that she might have opened my closet to look for it. Maybe she knows and just doesn't want to say anything?
I wanted to start dieting half a year ago, but I just can't. Surely she must have noticed that I didn't lose anything (rather the opposite) even though I don't eat much in front of her.

No. 417780

I'm so fucking over this hysteric outrage over climate change. It's exhausting when you can't literally go anywhere without coming across compulsive fart huffing and guilt tripping of ordinary people trying to get through their lives when you should be mad at bad waste management and companies refusing to adapt and research more sustainable links of the production chain. I can't stand all the smug asswipes bragging about how they ordered a vegetarian option at a restaurant, or uptight vegans who still eat like shit. I can't stand people throwing a fit over cars at people who actually need them to commute. I can't stand spergy people constantly having a panic attack over some stock photo of a dirty polar bear. It all feels like some manufactured campaign made by multinational companies to get people to buy their "eco-friendly" products while sweeping acute pollution issues under the rug. Worried about micro plastics? Replace everything with our bamboo fiber products now! Eating meat got you down? We have just the replacement you need!

My country has always topped the greenest countries lists, we're already doing so much but what the fuck does it matter if I pick a plastic straw at a restaurant when China and the US collectively take a shit in the ocean. Instead of using the opportunity to be the Better Human Being or verging on suicide people should be rational and concentrate on figuring out solutions to work out problems on a bigger scale than yell at someone using a plastic bag.

No. 417783

>My country has always topped the greenest countries lists, we're already doing so much but what the fuck does it matter if I pick a plastic straw at a restaurant when China and the US collectively take a shit in the ocean.
Lol after my parents came back from a trip to the US they also decided that from now on they're no longer going to be as enviromentally conscious, because with how Americans act all our efforts are for nothing anyway. Want a tampon? You have to go through 5 layers of packaging first. Serving your costumers food on real dishes? Overrated, that's what disposable ones exist for. Everybody drives a gigantic car, so big that it wouldn't even fit on a european parking lot or into a smaller alley.
Most governments in the EU are trying to guilt trip their citizens, meanwhile they're doing shit like funding coal mining - and India and Co. are are trying their best to make everybody die as fast as possible anyway.
I don't feel at fault for the climate change or any pressure to do something at all.

No. 417785

File: 1559643515754.jpg (99.3 KB, 621x443, 12211_b.jpg)

>what the fuck does it matter if I pick a plastic straw at a restaurant when China and the US collectively take a shit in the ocean
Do some research before blindly jumping on the America hate train like people always do.

No. 417787

I'm surprised India isn't on there at all, I always hear people lump it with China in terms of ecology.

I don't agree with the "since no one makes an effort then neither should I" mentality, anyway. It's precisely because others think that way that even countries with specific ecological guidelines still pollute and waste so much. Doing small things like not supporting shitty fast fashion, buying local products and not throwing out so much food is good for you AND the environment. You might get pseudo-ecologists shaming you for not doing "enough", but what matters is that you're doing what you can.

No. 417790

I hate being plagued by depression and anxiety. Having good days just makes it worse because then my brain starts to tell me “you were so good yesterday, now look at you.” I’m wondering if I should get checked into the hospital again. I feel like such a leech to society, and I feel like this summer will go wasted. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist but I still feel like shit. I’m an ouroboros, trapped in the cycle of darkness.

No. 417791

>send your garbage to China and then point fingers at China for producing so much garbage
You don't even know how to properly recycle your waste and your water is undrinkable. Sit down.

No. 417792

>what the fuck does it matter if I pick a plastic straw at a restaurant when China and the US collectively take a shit in the ocean
Do you really not understand that it's not just about you as an individual? And that if everyone thinks this way, there's a shitton more pollution?
Oh but I guess you're special and YOU don't have to care about the environment, I guess all the other people will have to do that.

No. 417793

You can do both? Reduce your own footprint so that companies can't sell you so much shit AND request more responsibility from companies and politicians. You have to do both.

Also, use your whining on the Internet about how you can't give up your car to actually do something and join the citizens climate lobby.

No. 417796

This, I for one am glad I live in a clean country full of green forests where everyone recycles and rides a bicycle. I've been to the US, it's a beautiful place but they have really big problems with governance, both they and China. They're shooting themselves in the foot ultimately, because they're the ones who won't have the green technology to sustain themselves when push comes to shove and they're the ones who won't have drinkable water (which is already happening) and will have to buy bottled tap water sold by Nestlé.

Also, there are global initiatives to lobby for greener solutions in countries that need them like the US and China. Join some. Also think about bringing back the guillotine. Just saying.

No. 417798

>Also, use your whining on the Internet about how you can't give up your car to actually do something and join the citizens climate lobby.
Her vent is exactly about people like you, who act all high and mighty and think they somehow have the right to dictate strangers lifes.
This is her freetime and she chooses to write something here; why are you not doing anything productive instead of reading and fighting on lolcow, huh? Go join your local feminist club, go help in an elderly peoples home instead. Why do you pay for a phone/computer and the internet when you could also donate that money to children in need?
All of us could always do better, so don't act like you're superior.

No. 417799

Me too anon. I've started seeing a psychologist but it doesn't seem to really help me. In fact, talking about the issues that make me anxious so much (I've got ptsd issues on top of the winning depression&anxiety combo) just seems to make me think about them and get anxious about them more. I just want to forget what happened but even if I consciously make an effort to stop feeling like shit about it I constantly have horrible dreams about it.
At the same time I'm trying to still be a functional human being and not fail university but self-medicating with drugs doesn't work anymore and I can't afford actual medication. Soon enough I'll have to stop my therapy because it's too expensive as well.

No. 417800

I'm a migraine machine lately and I have no idea what's causing it. I even started to have one in the middle of sex last night and had to just stop everything and silently curl up into a ball until I fell asleep. I don't think I'm dehydrated or any more stressed than usual, it's freaking me out. This would be a sad existence.

I'm glad I made you laugh anon. Hopefully you're on to better things!

No. 417801

I feel like I'm constantly struggling to keep my head above water. My mind keeps sabotaging me with intrusive thoughts and the good things in life don't seem to weigh up to the bad.

Life sucks but I'm afraid to die.

No. 417804

I think I'm better because
1) I've already joined and that's why I'm recommending it,
2) I'm not throwing a tantrum on the internet about how I'm too precious to recycle and make an effort because "what about big bad American companies! Blame them, not me!", and
3) I don't make fun of people who are doing their best to make the world a better place, however imperfectly and think I'm so special and smart unlike those recycling vegan sheeple.

In other words, OP is a whiny piss baby who needs to grow up and realise people are doing all these things because everyone should, and someone else not doing it doesn't absolve you of your responsibility towards your environment, other people and future generations.

No. 417806

Original vent anon here and this, the anons replying with "WELL IT SEEMS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT YOU PLASTIC STRAW DRINKING BITCH" screeching are the exact retards I have a problem with. Of course I care about the environment, I do my part but using the opportunity only to put yourself on a pedestal made out of recycled plastic while still probably living a luxurious first country life is unnecessary and serves no other purpose than feeding your own ego. Constantly policing other people for petty things and throwing gas in the fire with hysterical eco-preaching only creates a knee-jerk reaction and anxiety and acquires absolutely fucking nothing in the grand scale of things. I remember some anon posting in a vent thread about how she's being suicidal and depressed because of environmental issues and it just baffles me how an attitude like this is being seen as virtuous.

No. 417808

NTA, but what do you do when you want to recycle and stuff but your country doesn't have any recycling options? Is there a way to do a 3rd world shithole version of zero waste?

No. 417811

>I remember some anon posting in a vent thread about how she's being suicidal and depressed because of environmental issues
Except that anon literally had OCD, and no one told her she was "virtuous", anons either shared her worries or told her to seek medical help. You either misunderstood her completely or you're lying to fuel your ~I truly care about ecology and you're all crazy posers~ narrative.

Just keep doing what you're doing for the environment and stop measuring dicks with everyone else, honestly.

No. 417814

>Complaining about people who literally measure dicks about being environmentally friendly and are being massive self-righteous cunts about it
Imagine being this insecure

No. 417815

>anons either shared her worries
So she is right, besides that person who you say has ocd there are others who also feel depressed because of the environment.

No. 417817

People tend to act like talk therapy is this incredible tool (especially in Europe) but I genuinely think it's not for everyone. Especially if you're anxious or depressed chronically. Therapy makes me dwell on my problems and the past. I also always feel like skit for a week straight after because I can't talk about things affecting me without bawling my eyes out which in turn takes a toll physically and emotionally because it puts me in state of intense distress.
Workbooks have been far more help for me.

No. 417819

File: 1559651086868.jpg (68.04 KB, 999x624, 2nCtyrwBIzc6ujeknDqyAyyKSCVRjZ…)

How come the US is better than e.g. France, Germany or Austria…?

No. 417822

I have a coworker who's an absolute creep. He will stare at me all day and point out things like me trimming my hair by 2 inches or me wearing a slightly different color foundation. I ask him why does he always notice this stuff and he says it's because he 'spends a lot of time looking at me'. He says 'hey beautiful' whenever he approaches me and told me he would kiss me if I wasn't his coworker at a work event and he always stops by my desk and rubs my shoulders. I really wish he would stop. He knows I'm engaged. It doesn't help that once his ex-gf approached me at work in the parking lot and told me to stop talking to her boyfriend when I never even communicate with him outside of work. If I reported him to HR it would just cause a shitshow and I don't want to start up any drama within the department.

No. 417823

Repurpose products, buy used (at least my third world shithole is full of second hand shops), use less, buy local, only buy if you have to, make your own stuff and inquire about citizen initiatives. Terracycle might operate in your country but its not guaranteed.

My parents live in rural Serbia and have been zero waste before it was cool, so that's how I know it's doable. What they do differently is they talk to their neighbours and people they know about different issues and people help each other out.

The local youth group also organise themselves to clean up rivers and have recycling initiatives, and it was all started by one guy so people definitely have more of an impact than they think.

No. 417835

If you want him to stop you have to make it uncomfortable for him to approach you. Report it hr or put your foot down. You work there and should not have to feel uncomfortable because some limpdick can’t control himself. Assert yourself and that you’re not interested. You don’t have to be rude, but you certainly don’t have to handle him with kid gloves and polite laughter.

No. 417837

File: 1559654789508.jpeg (27.05 KB, 333x202, 18BB0AE8-0C8C-40FA-B810-0F30E8…)

My girlfriend said that she gets off to the thought of me raping her and then uses her being a csa victim as an excuse and it just makes me feel so, so incredibly disgusted, because I‘d never fucking rape anyone.

No. 417840

Not surprising, a lot of people with rape fantasies deal with deep-rooted sexual trauma. She should probably seek professional help. There's nothing wrong with with not wanting to rape your girlfriend.

No. 417842

That’s not so much as an excuse as a reason for her to get therapy. Like, if she hadn’t experienced sexual trauma maybe it could be brushed off as mere fantasy, but her relating it to real events is disturbing.

No. 417862

I just don't believe love is possible. Except between a mother and a child, maternal love. That's it. I fucking give up. Everywhere I look, everything I experience tells me romantic love is a fucking lie.

No. 417864

Well, what's your understanding of romantic love? A lot of people have a bad understanding of love, because it's been largely idealized and romanticized.

No. 417898

File: 1559663833374.jpg (61.17 KB, 540x960, 41900417_904685829735872_39050…)

this is such a petty thing and I know i'm too wrapped up in the social media game but the Cosplay comm is so messed up right now.
I dont even care about sexy cosplayers anymore but it's cosplayers that buy 3 costumes off ebay a month and post new content all the time that is sub-par onto instagram and get so much more attention than those who make costumes.

I make the vast majority of my costumes from scratch as i compete a lot and I can't keep up with the social media game, then someone buys a cheaply make, cheaply looking costume, puts and unstyled wig on, shit inaccurate makeup, puts They/them on their profile and boom, 500 likes off the bat.

I think whats set me over the edge is that a cosplayer i know that had a good following (10k+ on insta) who buys everything is BEGGING for any con to have them guest at, specifically as a cosplayer, and rumor has it a con has their eyes on them when there are hundreds of talented cosplayers who make everything that will never get the chance because of numbers.
I'm just salty because those cosplayers that put more effort into the hobby are put onto the backseat these days compared to those who can buy all the cheap shit and be content with it.
Trying to find cosplayers who make thier own stuff regularly is really hard these days, i'd love to follow more of them and not insta-thots.

No. 417929

my roommate has no idea how to do laundry

she over fills it w clothes, THEN pours an unmeasured amount of cleaner in. nearly every time it over bubbles or water gets on the floor but shes never home to clean it up. or switch out loads. she just lets it sit in the wash til it stinks then just rewashes them

degenerates like her belong on a vross

No. 417933

File: 1559670956506.jpeg (275.23 KB, 750x1334, 3333AFC6-3DD4-4E6E-B24B-0F99B0…)

we put him down yesterday and i've been in a fast spiral. i drank last night and today i think i'm in a manic episode, in my past i realize manic episodes is how my bipolar+bpd brain responds to intense sadness, flipping it to the extreme. i'm sad, scared.. everything. i miss him. i want to go off the walls, it feels stupid going this far for a dog but i'm not okay, trying to schedule an appointment with my therapist. this is him, he was so great.

No. 417936

rape fantasies are actually not uncommon at all in victims of sexual abuse and it doesn't mean she thinks you'd do anything to her without prior consent, the point of the fantasy is reliving the event in a way that they can regain control. She should probably get help.

No. 417937

I’m sorry you lost your fur baby anon, you should not feel bad over being torn up about it, mental illness aside it’s a very sad thing to have to put down an animal you care deeply about

No. 417938

So sorry for your loss, anon. It's not stupid, pets become part of your family.

No. 417945

I posted this further upthread, but I hope it'll help you anon. https://www.reddit.com/r/baww/comments/1m7exu/dogs_never_die/

Losing a pet is never easy, and don't think it's stupid that you're going through this. It's understandable! Your sweet boy was a family member, it's completely okay that you're upset over this. I'm glad that you're trying to seek help with your therapist. I hope that you'll feel better.

No. 417951

I remember reading somewhere this idea that "The only love we are given from others is what we believe we are worth."
You really should not be involved with someone who sounds like a train wreck.

No. 417952

File: 1559673958399.jpg (38.21 KB, 620x458, 1186111_10151823882129297_1133…)

This coworker is such a rube >>416511.

His latest antic comes from me trying to file an expense report for a business trip recently.
I got an email back from the approver who sent it back with some acronym gibberish on what to do to fix it, instead of just writing in plain English.
I was trying to figure out what it meant before I resubmitted. Like I want my fucking money and per diem back lol.
I said out loud "What does 'ESS' mean?" And coworker stuck his nose into my email and pulled up a chair. He couldn't make heads or tails of what it meant either, but insisted that it must have meant I wasn't getting my money back on certain things and to file it as billable to me.
So I said I'd double check with the approver on what she meant before I changed anything, because that didn't seem right.
WELL. He actually got huffy and copped an attitude because I wasn't just going to take his word that it meant I wasn't going to get my money. He was all "Oh? So I guess you're not going to listen to me. Ok. Well is it alright if I laugh in your face later when you're wrong?" He got up and took the chair back and then went out for his millionth smoke.

And guess what? Turns out the acronym just meant I had to change the site location on the report. Nothing to do with not getting my money back.
But did I rub it in his face and laugh at his ass? No, because I'm not a petty muppet who gets aggressive over non issuss.

No. 417969

thank you so much, i'm trying to hold on desperately. i'm currently staying at my boyfriend's house but i'm afraid to go home as his.. disappearance will hurt
thank you too, i love this link and i actually sent it to my mother as well and she loved it too.
it hurts a lot but i'm at least happy he isn't suffering, he was disabled, spina bifida disformed his back and one of his legs.. i don't believe in heaven but for him, i hope they give him the strongest wings, so he never suffers with walking

No. 417976

He sounds like a butthurt neckbeard. You do you, anon.

No. 417989

Stay strong anon! Let yourself grieve. If there is a heaven, I'm sure he's waiting patiently for you in front of its gates. He's a good boy, anon. I wish I could give you a hug.

No. 417994

My ex found out where I live and I just moved this weekend. Life just isn't fair.

No. 418006

Oh anon, you have had a difficult life. You must be of great character with all that suffering. I'll say a prayer for you. Stay resilient.

No. 418007

File: 1559685404909.jpeg (315.02 KB, 1080x1065, 2BFBA43A-D382-4073-8432-E8A9C5…)

So when I was a younger teen, I abused laxatives a ton because I was in the throes of an eating disorder. I stopped when I was 19 and it’s been about two years since I’ve even thought about using them, but only bc the ED switched to restricting instead of B/P.

I would just tell ppl I had IBS and that was why I had to go to the bathroom so much and so many bought it that I never bothered to tell the truth. but recently, I started dating, taking hormonal birth control, and I’ve been eating more and I’m gaining weight and now I feel like I’m spiraling out of control. I’ve used like three packs of laxatives in the past two weeks because I’ve felt so guilty and it’s just made me so sick and tired but I can’t stop. I feel like I literally have no self control and I emotionally eat too, which just goes back into the cycle.

The worst part is, I lied to my boyfriend and told him I have IBS and he thinks that I just can’t help being on the toilet all the time when I know it’s all my own fault. I want to tell him the truth but we’ve been dating for a few months and I don’t want him to think that I’m just a liar and more of a burden than I know I already am on him. I don’t know what to do about anything and I feel so out of control of everything in my life.

No. 418012

I have decided I will not involve myself with anyone romantically ever again. I'm not into casual hook ups or anything either so I'm only interested in friendships. It just affects me way too much. And it's so much drama. I look around and all I see is shit.

No. 418023

File: 1559687450007.png (85.14 KB, 273x185, bleh.png)

I've been listening to a lot of podcasts lately, and it's reignited my irrational hatred for Felicia Day. I know nothing about her, but I genuinely hope she's a terrible person because at least I'd be vindicated in being fed up with her. I'm so tired of her guesting on shit.

No. 418026

She looks like ProJared in a wig here

No. 418030

you're not alone anon. i have suffered for the past 7 years with an ED too. i abuse laxatives like candy. i gain and lose the same 30 lbs, over and over again, sometimes multiple times during the year. it's so hard to control myself.

i have been with my bf for 2 years now. it took me about 5 or 6 months to open it all up to him. he is very understanding about it. i understand not feeling ready to tell him, but i think it's a good idea to let him know eventually. that way, if he's an asshole about it, it would maybe be in your best interest to leave him.

eating disorders suck. why is it so hard to just handle life normally? sigh.

No. 418031

It’s best that you talk to him about it. Confide in him and let him know you are not feeling well. Otherwise, he will find out on his own. If you make him aware of it he can support and reassure you. If you keep him in the dark, you will only continue to hurt yourself and will end up hurting him down the road.

>source: fellow ed anon with husband

No. 418034

I'm such a fat piece of shit and I hate it. I've been binge eating since I was 11, and I am now 20. Surprisingly, I'm not 400lbs by now, I'm 200lbs at 5 ft 3 which is still awful. I want to be healthy, but I never manage past 3 days no binge eating, even when I eat enough and good, filling food. Should I consider therapy or something for it? It's ridiculous. I was healthy today, but my binge cravings got the best of me, and now I'm mega sick because I ate way too much.

No. 418036

I'm in a new relationship, like new as in it's only been like, 2 weeks, though we were in the talking phase beforehand for a while on and off. Well I dun goofed myself, because the last time we had sex we were both thinking with our (well, I am obviously a woman so my metaphorical) dicks, and he came inside of me, and we instantly regretted it. I use condoms generally and I am not on other forms of birth control. As if that wasn't bad enough, I opened the app that I use to track my periods and such just to add stuff for that day and it had predicted that I am currently in my fertile window. Anons, how fucked am I currently?

No. 418037

Anon take the morning after pill! When did this happen?

No. 418040

Can't do much but take a Plan-B the morning after and a pregnancy test later on and hope for the best. You should get on birth control to stop these scares from happening.

No. 418041

I've also been binge eating since childhood but I've gotten better with it. If you live by yourself, the simplest thing you can do is not have ANY snacks, biscuits, ready-meals in your house at all. Only ingredients you can make meals from, so that when you get the urge to binge, you have to put effort into actually cooking/baking something and the urge might pass. It's going to be terribly frustrating for a long time but I find that the cravings eventually get smaller ; they never disappear, but for me they went to eating until I was sick to just eating too many baked goods once in a while.

No. 418044

Copper penny and a vitamin C.

No. 418045

Why the fuck is the female hip hop scene so misogynistic and whack like?? I just want to hear about bad bitches making moves and swerving men minus the inevitable whole ass verses about beefing with imaginary hoes i.e. how much gooder she can suck a dick. Kills my vibes man. So many dope ass songs wasted on being literal pick-me anthems.
Any reqs farmers?

No. 418046

I've gained an insane amount of the weight the last couple years due to just constantly eating shit; I'm also 200lbs now.
I always thought that I was normal before having had an ED as a young teen, but thinking back, I was actually already binging to the point of crying because my stomach hurt so much when I was just around 6 or so. No idea why that is…? but it sucks

No. 418047

Made my teeth clench just reading it. I know some people never learn, but have you tried talking to her about it and showing her the proper way to do it? If she's not a complete asshole she might take your advice. Sorry you got stuck with such a moron; everyone should know how to do their laundry.

He's even cuter than I imagined, I'm so sorry! It's okay to be upset, losing a loved one is never easy. It's also good practice for when you lose a person.

No. 418048

File: 1559691289794.png (176.77 KB, 317x331, u85m5m.png)

fucking blew my last two job opportunities because of my anxiety. now i cant seem to land anything. im gonna keep calling places and submitting resumes and hopefully it works out but goddamn im so depressed and angry at myself.

No. 418051

you ever have someone close to you that's in really bad health but their habits are killing them even faster? it's absolutely infuriating and makes it hard to have as much sympathy as i could and it makes me feel like a piece of shit.

No. 418054

File: 1559693007797.png (363.68 KB, 600x600, b5cd8f02a188c2a7ede80869e4ae70…)

My boyfriend called me a liar while I was telling him my genuine feelings about how I just wanted to help him and that helping him would help me feel better.
I've posted about this man at least 5 times in these threads, yet I'm still with him…

No. 418059

Anon why do you want to help him? Does he ever treat you with the same kindness you show him?

No. 418062

Because I love him to death. He does, and when things are good, things are amazing between us.
But when they get bad, it's explosive and destructive to both of us.
I kept telling him I wanted to help him financially because it would make me happy to support him since he doesn't make much money.
He raged at me, comparing me to his abusive father, and said I was a liar when I said I wanted to help him and I had no problem sending him financial help (as he helps me financially too)

No. 418063

Anon don’t be a fucking idiot. Respect yourself and don’t let dudes fuck you without a condom, especially not a new fling. You probably don’t even know if he’s clean let alone the pregnancy risks. And letting him cum inside you? Christ what the fuck, are you 15?

I don’t get these girls that casually teehee forget to use condoms. I’ve had my fair share of flings or one night stands and I’ve been very, very drunk as well and still had the sense to say “condom” beforehand.

Don’t let these fuckboys use you.

No. 418065

did you take a morning after pill? you're most likely fucked otherwise. thoughts and prayers

No. 418066

Do not give him any money unless you are living together. Keep it for yourself. If he's been able to help you financially before he's definitely got enough. It sounds like manipulation. Calling you a liar and comparing you to someone who abused him in the same sentence? Who says that to your partner? It doesn't sound like anxiety.

No. 418087

Not a vent, but I just wanted to say that this anime makes me cry like a baby

No. 418088

can you tell me the name

No. 418103

Haibane Renmei

No. 418108

Been discharged from my therapy because I've missed 2 appointments in a row. One was because I wasn't well and overslept due to medication I'd taken. This time my net went down and I wasn't able to contact my therapist.

I'm quite upset and ashamed because each missed appointment costs the NHS like £150 per missed session. I'm going to uni in September and was hoping to have support before then, but I dunno how long it'll take for me to get re-referred.

No. 418149

That's fucked up. The NHS shouldn't be billed for it.

No. 418160

File: 1559709926117.jpeg (116.26 KB, 994x1024, 35472A89-1957-4FCD-BF10-740A2F…)

I love my cats so much and it makes me so mad they can’t understand me when I put them through a stressful situation that won’t harm them and is for their health
I fucking LOVE them

No. 418205

File: 1559718146508.jpg (27.45 KB, 567x437, a2b.jpg)

>Be a depressed NEET
>Get into a relationship 1 yrs ago
>Start eating a lot better and generally having a life
>Gain weight
>Disgusted at the big cellulite ridden ass I have now
>Bigger boobs
>Face got rounder in the cutest way
>Bf obsessed with touching my new butt and boobs

I don't want to be a fatty, but I'm obsessed with looking at my face in the mirror, I just look so much nicer with some fat under my skin.

No. 418206

I'm tired of being mommy gf. I guess it's my own fault. I start doing things trying to make his life easier because he is so irresponsible, and then suddenly it's expected of me.

This morning it happened again. I woke up at the first ring of the alarm and he didn't. I have to leave for work a bit later than him. He, after hitting snooze like 2 times, he asks me to wake him up in 15 minutes. I water the plants, feed the cat, make coffee, open the windows, prep the meals for us etc. I end up trying to wake him up like 4 times and he just won't. Then he wakes up at the last minute and is late and grumpy and says to me I should have gotten him out of bed someday, pushed him or something.

Why are men like this? How is him waking up my responsability? I don't want to date an older guy, but ffs, is any guy in their 20's not a video game addicted and immature?

Anyway, he is a great guy, I love him and he is good to me. But I always end up having to pick up after him, and probably it's my own fault.

No. 418207

This made my blood boil. I'm in the same situation. I am too fucking nice always picking up after him and trying to make him comfortable. Notice how they don't do these things for us. I blew up at my man child today in a rage because AGAIN I had to do everything and pick up after him like he's my teenage son. It's so unattractive, why don't they realize this? Why don't they love us enough to reciprocate? Why do we dote on them when they are sick and they can't even think to get soft foods for someone with strep throat? Are all men in their twenties like this? Did their mothers fail them? The guy I'm living with doesn't even know how to clean. I'm not exaggerating, he's never swept or wiped a counter and doesn't know how to do very very basic cleaning. He never gets up in time for work, he never helps in the house, he never makes the food or gets groceries without being forced to do it. These things would be forgivable if things were more traditional but I work the same hours he works and we both contribute financially so what the fuck he should be doing things around the home as well. It's turning me into a raging misandrist. What is wrong with them?!

No. 418208

Have you eve asked him to stop? Men aren't always smart enough to pick up on obvious hints.

No. 418209


Fuck, I also feel like I have a teenage son sometimes. My bf cleans, but only when I tell him what to do. All I want is him to take some responsibility and not wait for me to ask him to do the fucking dishes every single time (after I cooked, did laundry, hoovered, and everything else). And he takes his sweet time to get anything done. I've tried talking about it but he just gets offended because he thinks he does so much already. He does not even notice that I do 90% of the chores.

I don't know anon, I look everywhere around me and they are all like this. I am sure they love us, but they do not even know how to love in the way we do: actually taking acre, making their life easier. I legit think they lack the empathy. I also think it's deeply ingrained in their brains that it is women's work, even if they are one of those male-feminist types (ew). It fucking sucks. Sometimes I can't help man-hating.

No. 418211

Can we stop enabling men's creepy behavior by pretending they're just innocent bumbling idiots who just don't understand what they're doing?

No. 418222

File: 1559722691228.jpg (105.5 KB, 513x878, awful.jpg)

Don't worry about it, sis. Your instincts on this are right. On her list of achievements is constantly making poop jokes, bragging about her ability to steal boyfriends at cons, being an actual gold digger to an assumed pedophile old enough to be her grandpa, and worst of all, standing the company of Wil Wheaton. Even her whole schtick of being le quirky Girl Gamer goddess had worn out its welcome a decade before her prominence.

No. 418224

Okay, they're innately evil then. Still doesn't change that you need to be direct.

Say no once,
Say no louder,
Bring out the pepper spray.

No. 418226

Set some rules for him and make him write those rules down in a notebook
That ususually helps in training men

No. 418243

I can’t stop thinking about my rape lately and it’s making me so fucking depressed but at the same time it’s making me have those weird humiliating sexual fantasies and I just feel like a gross monster

No. 418246

Please don't feel that way. Your brain in coping and processing. Try talking to a counselor about it if you can. Of not, please keep venting here and don't beat yourself up.

No. 418247


My ex was like this. I got so sick of him I ended things after a year and a half. Obviously wasn’t just him being a man-child, but it was a big reason. Now I’m with someone who is reasonably independent and can you know, wake himself up and actually shower. Anon, either tell him to cut the bullshit or leave, people like that seem to never change.

No. 418248

I love a man that doesn't know even how to clean too. I don't even want to say his age or how disgusting his apartment was.
The irony is he's like almost OCD with hand washing or if a speck of dirt is on his clothes.
Men are disgusting and incompetent. I only forgive it because he works much more than me so it's a trade-off. It still says a lot to me about his character though.

No. 418309

I hate how viciously anti-kink radfems are. It's probably the only thing keeping me from liking the ideology. I understand that some kinks are obviously gross and rooted in misogyny, but what's wrong with two consenting adults practicing their kinks in a way that doesn't harm them or anyone else. It just seems like we're going back in time and telling women that they're bad for liking sexy sex at all. Then there's the homophobia…radfems just naturally attract all the tradthots who think being a bigot is the new woke. It honestly hurts the movement more than it helps.

No. 418310

I hope I don't get made fun of for venting about food but I think I've been doing better recently, I'd like to get some thoughts off my chest.

So ever since I was a kid I've always tied food with reward.
My mother's side would culturally always offer food whenever I did well at school, was sad, or there was an occasion. I was chided for not eating. Food just became my default so I was an overweight child. My dad's side saw this as a problem but weren't articulate enough to explain the issue to a little girl. Dad side's logic was to counter this with things like withholding food even when I was hungry, forcibly reducing my portions without explanation, telling me I was fat, and saying how boys would never want me.
There was also a separate phase I went through as a child when I suddenly feared choking. As a result I didn't eat anything that required chewing and I lost a shit ton of weight. It was enough for my mom to take notice and threaten me with taking me to the doctor to "have a tube put down my throat." I started eating again, terrified that not eating was very bad. In high school I told my mom how I wanted to go vegan for a bit to see if that would help with my weight, and she accused me of being eating disordered.

Neither of my parents were very good examples on how take care of themselves. They either had disordered eating habits or ate a lot of crap. I didn't learn about and start understanding calories and nutrition until high school. I never saw either of them dedicate any time to physical exercise. Hell, I didn't even realize it was normal in some families to make exercise as part of their routine like how someone would brush their teeth or wash their clothes until I was older. I played summer sports and a couple of sports in high school but I was never good. Kids in high school actually made fun of me and the coaches despised me, so I also associated exercise with feelings of inadequacy.

My parents were divorced since I was a baby, so I never knew anything between them but bitterness and chaos. Meal times were actually some of the only times when I'd see them calm and thus I'd feel at ease. On the days when they transferred visitation of me, I'd double dip meals by having a dinner with my dad-who would take me out for fast food since he didn't cook or have a functioning kitchen-and then go to my mom's where she'd have a meal for me that I'd have seconds of.
tl;dr I learned to associate food with comfort, and restriction of it with negativity.

It made things really hard for me as a fat adult trying to lose weight. During every single meal I always wanted to overeat for the feel good feelings. Eating was how I handled stress as a child and I felt like shit knowing I couldn't be doing it as an adult. When I tried to be responsible for myself and have a small portion, a little voice inside my mind would make me feel like I was being punished like when I was a girl. Pathetically, I'd get a tear in my eye. I really hated myself.
I'd start diets and workouts, and maybe have moderate successes but inevitably I was a fat recidivist.
There'd be a crisis or a time in my life when I'd get severely depressed, turn to food for comfort and become apathetic. Before I knew it I had destroyed all the progress I made.
Even with medical help the most I've ever lost at once was 60 pounds over a couple of years, but that didn't stick either. Even when I accomplished that I still felt awful because I was unhealthily restricting with my self-hate being the motivator. Obviously that was doomed to fail and now I'm the fattest I've ever known myself.
I brooded a lot for the past two years or so and genuinely was feeling sorry for myself.

Anyway, I'm going through another crisis with my mom being on her third divorce.
Something in my mind recently just…clicked?
I see my mom as having become complacent in not taking good care of herself, and while that's pushed her husbands away I've also seen and heard directly from her how much she hates herself.
I don't want to be like my mom. She's truly miserable.

Out of curiosity, I was looking at some people online who've tried intermittent fasting and OMAD. I really like OMAD and I'm seeing some success with it. I think it's good for my type of "brain," that is, food=reward. Because instead of trying to be reasonable with multiple meals a day (something I know I'm not successful at), I can "reward" myself at the end of the day with a slightly larger meal. Or so the logic goes. But because I make my one meal with a lot of protein, I actually wind up feeling full on less and I don't actually finish or have the urge to binge.

I've already lost a few pounds this week alone and that's without motivating to set foot back in the gym. I'm not feeling bad from 'restricting' because I don't see the OMAD as true restriction since I technically have the 'big' meal at the end of the day. I'm not obsessing over food for once and it's nice. I thought this would be hard, but it feels different this time.

No. 418326

I'm exactly the same. I agree with a lot of radical feminism fundamentals but the anti-kink mentality is what's keeping me away from it. The angry pearlclutchers are free to enjoy celibacy or missionary in the dark but damn let me be a degenerate in private. I'm largely anti-porn because the IRL porn industry is fundamentally flawed but when I'm reading my fictional erotica or having consensual sexual affairs I should be allowed to enjoy whatever fetishes my perverted brain can come up with because it's my own fucking business.

I agree about the homophobia too, sometimes I can't decide if the homophobic spergs in /ot/ are /r/redpill migrates or mentally unstable radfems who think gay men are bug chasing deviants and lesbians are (or should be) pure and chaste. It's especially annoying when they leak over to the Gendercritical thread and try to push some anti-gay narrative out of nowhere.

No. 418328

I'm so happy for you anon! I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you'll enjoy your time at the gym when you go back! I'm reaching a similar level of comfort with food, although due to different circumstances.

I went crazy for a while when I was studying abroad, calorie counting and restricting like mad, constantly exercising and exasperating my shin splints, all because I was fearful of losing my anachan body (I was in a phase of hooking up with fuckboys and realized I was only loved for my body rather than myself, so I was heavily concerned with how my body looked lol my own fault). I became so hyperaware of every moment I felt even a tiny bit of hunger, I probably thought more about food and eating food then than I do now.

I've since moved past it, learned to love myself and cut out the fuckboys, and eat moderate portions that suit me. I've put on a little bit of weight, but I've reached an appropriate weight for my height and am no longer bony (though I'm still working on accepting that that's acceptable and this is how it should be). It feels freeing to not constantly think about eating and actually forgetting about eating until my stomach actually rumbles and I'm like "oh shit it's actually been a while since I've eaten!" I can even watch food videos from my favorite youtube personalities without feeling hunger, it's just watching them make food and enjoying their video.

No. 418335

Same, anon. I wish they would understand that anti-porn is not the same as anti-kink. I am also anti-porn as it harms women but why should I dictate what kind of sex people have in the privacy of their own homes?

I think there are quite a few people on this site who call themselves radfems but are actually just redpillers with some MH flavoring, makes it hard to take some of the shit people say seriously.

No. 418336

I work as a receptionist and one of my duties is to weed out the sales callers. We have a fake voicemail set up to automatically direct the sales people to, but I prefer to handle it so they don't call back ever again. When people ask for the fake voicemail person, it just makes my job easier since I already know it's a sales call and just have to get them to tell me what they want to talk to the person about so I can automatically decline.

On occasion, I'll get some really annoying and persistent people. I'll ask "what are you looking to speak to them about?" they'll dodge it with "I just have a question" or "I just have business matters to discuss" and will only repeat that over and over again so I don't have an entry way to decline. My boss says I can just decline them (since I'll already know its a sales call) and hang up, but I don't like to be rude since I know they're just doing their job. I wish they would just be upfront so we don't have to waste each other's time.

No. 418337

I hate how anons here are quick do armchair every cow as having bpd.

But I hate how bpd is the new go to mental illness for people to milk for sympathy points more.

No. 418339

File: 1559747882504.jpg (152.05 KB, 755x900, standing-to-attention-edwin-la…)

Is anyone else completely disconnected with themselves, the world, other people?

There are times I feel very connected to myself – present, but much of the time I feel like I am just occupying this body as an observer. There are times where I genuinely watch myself respond to someone else. And then I think, "did I just say that?" Sometimes, I walk past mirrors and do not recognize myself. I have a fiancé and unfortunately he is similar to me in this way. In fact, that's how we connected 6 years ago…

I have no moral standing or particular virtues. My virtue is working hard, getting money to pay my bills, and keeping my partner content. If someone were to ask me about my stance on abortion, universal healthcare, etc., I have to fabricate an answer, because I just do not care about these things for myself. The odd thing is I was once very opinionated. I felt things, and I felt them deeply. People would often describe me as passionate and I went through some pretty extreme beliefs (from communism, fascism, neoliberalism…) but now I just feel… nothing.

It's livable. I'm not extremely bothered by it and have accepted the way I am. Just wondering if anyone else feels this way.

No. 418340

I think radfems have a strong reaction to kinks because they have been normalized to the point some seriously degenerate shit is borderline vanilla now, like ddlg, choking, anal, etc… If pegging was becoming mainstream I wouldn't give a fuck, but it seems only the ones that causes pain to women go mainstream, it's upsetting.

No. 418341

This, LARPing pedophilic incest and cutting off oxygen and blood supply to the brain are now just considered wacky, cool, relatable twitter content. I think there’s an alternative to both medieval demonization of female sexuality and this current brand of risky and/or sexism-rooted behavior that’s called sex positivity. There’s a reason the BDSM community is absolutely overflowing with horrific abuse and predation despite how much they repeat “safe, sane, consensual.”

No. 418342

I think you've developed a flawed perception from spending too much time on imageboards, most mainstream normies are still as vanilla as they were. However thorough the history of mankind there has always been a certain sort of degeneracy to human kind and kinks have always existed, just look into some of the shit people did in ancient Greece. And some of them have always taken it overboard. I agree about porn normalizing certain harmful kinks but even still that's an anti-porn issue, not anti-kink per se.

No. 418348

That's my issue with the normalisation of kink culture, yeah.

I also can't stand how people like to shame those who have vanilla tastes (especially if they're women), and how many men have come to expect that a "good" girlfriend needs to want to be choked, love anal and deepthroat them all the time. Normie kink culture seems to be little more than an excuse to demand more shit from women, for handmaidens to get male attention, and for everyone to shame women who don't participate in this.

No. 418351

People shame the femdom shills on this website too and it's not hurting women at all. In fact, everything other than completely vanilla sex is shamed. I'm starting to think that radfems just hate sex in general.

This. I've never met a man IRL who expected or demanded anything that wasn't vanilla. A lot of normie dudes are just happy to have sex at all. Men are horny as hell in my personal experience and all of their kinks can be boiled down to anyone who wants to have sex with them.

No. 418352

Posts like this is exactly why I can't get into radical feminism. It just seems a lot of radfems are extremely hostile towards other women and treat everyone but separatist political lesbian radfems as dumb sheeple bimbos. Yes, some women are insecure pickmes and believe that it should be a god given right for men to get anal and deepthroating, but women are also capable of being sentient enough to develop their kinks on their own that they enjoy in private. It isn't a black or white issue.

No. 418354

You're seriously saying that radfems hate sex because they are repulsed by women playing pretend mommy while pegging their bf?

No. 418355

I hate how choking is vanilla af.
Nothing says normal and enjoyable more to me than having someone stronger than me mimic the motion they would/can use to kill me.

No. 418356

You're being dense.
>>418340 said that they think radfems have a bad reaction to kinks because most of them hurt women. All I did was point out that femdom doesn't hurt women and radfems still hate it. What's your excuse now for hating it? It just makes you feel gross? Fine. But how is that related to radical feminism?

It's anti-feminist as fuck IMO to claim that women can't enjoy/discover kinks on their own. Like every woman who's into xyz suffers from trauma at the hands of the patriarchy.

No. 418357

anon, report his ass. if he didn't want to start "drama" he could've always just not been a fucking creep. everything you described is creepy, boundary-pushing behavior and very inappropiate. he clearly goes after insecure pick-me's (his ex gf telling you to "stop talking to her bf" instead of confronting her own creepy bf about his creepy behavior?) and is counting on the fact that you're just too nice and polite to do something about his harassment bc you don't wanna be "that bitch that reported him to HR". be a bitch, file that complaint, start the drama you need to start for him to leave you tf alone.

No. 418358


I just wanted to say that I really appreciated your reply, anon.

I hope I can work on it and myself because we share a lot of resemblance. Wish you the best as well.

No. 418359

Femdom falls under the bdsm umbrella, radfems tends to hate doms no matter which genders they are. Gitting off by inflincting pain on other is something that should be criticized no matter who does it.

No. 418360

That's not what I was trying to say, maybe I didn't explain myself clearly enough. I don't think most women develop kinks as a way to seek attention, because kinks are a natural, normal thing, and enjoying them privately is great. My issue is with the culture ; some people are taking their kinks into the public sphere and making them the centre of their personality, and they're extremely condescending towards those that don't do the same. I just don't get how kink-shaming is evil but vanilla-shaming is hilarious to these people. In both cases, they're shaming others' sexuality, and very often women's.

No. 418362

Disregarding the fact that BDSM doesn't always involve pain, it literally has nothing to do with feminism, tho? Hating people who get off on inflicting pain is completely outside of the realm of what feminism should cover. Libfems are killing themselves by trying to incorporate everything under the feminism umbrella and y'all are too.

No. 418363

The addition of a young male to our small office is proving to be problematic. Our big boss is a male, but he is only here once a week and is quite a bit older than my coworker and I.

My female coworker who is about 8 years my senior has suddenly become toxic toward me. I have not done anything abnormal so I believe her change in behavior is due to the new employee's presence.

The young man is polite but messy.

No. 418364

Hating doms is not a part of radfems feminist ideologies, it's just a thing they talk about because they tend to agree on it, you just sound mad because you disgust them, seriously not everything women do needs to be ~ uwu validated ~ by radical feminism.

No. 418369

You shouldn't assume that people are into ~ le kinky ~ just because I'm criticizing radfems for shaming everything other than vanilla sex. My argument is simply that it hurts your movement to shame women who have personal, consensual kinks at all. You act like all women must be some kind of precious pure lillies tainted by dark, evil men. Some women like weird sex and it's not because they've been hurt or conditioned by porn. If it's not part of radfem ideology then maybe don't act like it is?

No. 418370

So I know we all hate men here, but does it really make sense to blame him for your other coworker not keeping her jealousy in check?

No. 418375

My intention wasn't to blame him, but rather to share an observation that him being here has changed the working environment.

No. 418376

I don’t mind choking but it freaks me the fuck out that I’ve never got a chance to express that to my partners. Like guys just think it’s so baseline normal that I’ve had multiple partners who never fucking asked me if I’d like it before they have their hand pressing my throat. The first time it happened to me was with a rebound hookup right after I broke up with the guy I lost my virginity to so i had literally never done it before, and this guy asked about literally everything else “can I take off your panties? Can I give you hickies? Can I finger you?” Etc but for some reason choking was fucking fair game and it startled the hell out of me.

No. 418379

Fair point. My apologies.

No. 418395

>I've never met a man IRL who expected or demanded anything that wasn't vanilla.

You must be lucky then. I'm treated like I'm a boring sack of potatoes because I don't want to have anal sex and I don't like deep throating on a daily basis. I think it's a lot more normalized than you think and it's because of this that I am starting to hate any kind of kinky sex at all. Even my boyfriend who is otherwise an extremely generous and kind person constantly pressures me for anal and sticks his dick down my throat without warning when I'm blowing him. All of the men I've dated have treated me like an uptight cunt for not wanting a dick up my ass, even the nice ones.

What's wrong with women being against kinks if they lead to things like this?

No. 418398

I feel empathy for you but this still seems like a porn problem instead of a kink problem. How else would it become normalized?

No. 418399

I feel like this is actually more of a man problem what with how their sexuality works, as well as entitlement.
I'm a femdomfag (go ahead, bully) but wouldn't dream of pressuring a partner into any of the painful things I'd be into. Despite being memed into some odd shit I can still get off to vanilla for the rest of my life no problem. But most men, instead of expanding their sexual tastes, only specialize them. It's like men start eating a new ice cream flavour and now that's the only flavour they enjoy despite loving others in the past, meanwhile women can enjoy all sorts of ice cream and keep their old favourites equally.

I'm sure there are exceptions for both sexes but. You get it.

No. 418400

It's normalized because they talk to other men who think it's normal. The person I'm dating doesn't even watch porn and has an extremely low libido but thinks these things are normal and basically vanilla. I suppose it stems from porn but it does become a kink when it's spread so much. Just like how pubic hair wasn't gross before the 2000s but now it's considered unclean to have hair on your vulva. It may have started with porn but it's beyond that now.

I agree.

No. 418414

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world now because my bf has never tried to choke me. He literally just asks if he wants to try something new and if I say no, he leaves me alone. Men be trash.

No. 418439

So I just found out a friend of mine is a groupie to a certain bandmember. She's in her 20s. He's in his 40s.

The friend that told me about it did so excitedly and exclaimed how "lucky" she is, then proceeded to give me the lecture of a lifetime on why age differences are okay and how I am narrow minded for thinking it's weird.

Basically sex is just sex and two people who find each other attractive should be allowed to do so. I wasn't arguing against it, I just said that I don't think the age difference makes for a healthy connection and that since he's obviously older and in a position of power, I can't just sit back and think it's all flowers and sunshine and that my friend is in a completely happy place being willing to fuck this guy.

Guess I just have to sit here and clutch my pearls in silence.

No. 418451


I had a problem like this too a while back.
He wouldn't help make the bed, clean his shaved hairs out of the sink, put the dishes in the dishwasher, sweep, dust or vaccum. It felt like I was a house maid to him.
I got so fed up that I talked to him that either we do these chores together from now on or they will stop happening. We were spending time doing cleaning together and he was started making plans for us to do it together.

No. 418461

I am the only one who spends a few hours/days/weeks to come up with a nickname to game/accounts? I'm such a perfectionist that even a small thing like that take me so much time.
Also, how can i get better in English? No matter how much i read or write, it won't help. I ask friends to correct me when I make mistakes, but they don't really do that. They just say that my English is fine. How can I get better?

No. 418468

My parents took the day off so they could take me out for a birthday dinner, but I still have work today so they're out shopping. The place they're at is 2 hours away by car, and I bet they won't even start the drive home until I get home.

I'm lowkey peeved because yeah, I thought it'd be really nice to have a birthday dinner with my parents on the day of my birthday! But I don't want to wait for them to get home and then go out for dinner at 9pm when I'm supposed to be in bed by 10pm since I still have to go to work early the next morning. I don't want to be annoyed, but I am lol

No. 418475

Happy birthday anon! I hope your parents actually take this into consideration and are actually home when you get there.

No. 418529

Not too much of a vent but why is voice chat so awkward? I wish I was better at finessing my way through it.
It's obviously less awkward if you're playing vidya together but when you're all just sitting around doing you're own thing, it's cringy as hell at first until some sort of convo gets going aghhhh

No. 418541

My sister got into new age and she is going crazy. It started with her going to an aura reading session where she met some hippies who brainwashed her. Now she is always playing tacky cliche spa music all over the house, keeps talking about how she is an alien that reincarnated to save the planet and does weird rituals to ,,connect with her spirit guides". She keeps trying to push her beliefs into everyone she knows claiming it's the right path. I am concerned because I think she has started to do drugs with her druggie friends. Last night she was rambling about how her guardian angel revealed the light to her and how she met up with her unborn baby who also happens to be her spirit guide.

No. 418543

What part of leaning English are you struggling with, anon? Do you watch a lot of English media? I find that helps me with sentence structure and vocab when I'm learning a new language.

No. 418546

fellow non-native here. for me, watching a lot of things in english (videos, movies, reading books) helped A LOT. you slowly start to grasp (understand) certain structures and grammar, you learn new vocabulary, you understand a lot more. you have to do it consistently though, every day if you can, or at least every week. immerse yourself in the language, anon! read read read and listen listen listen.

a correction i can make to your english: it's "am i the only one?". the way you phrased it (in english) sounds very similar to the spanish structure so i can assume you're a spaniard/latino, anon.

No. 418551

Farmers, I got rejected and while it was not my dream job, it was an incredible opportunity to work for the domestic security agency. I was bored out of my mind in my last job and got invited to take part in the exam, which was the best thing that happened to me since a long time. I am a translator for an Asian language and the exam was hard, but I mastered one part really, really well. Anyway, I got rejected and I want to curl up in a ball. The benefits were amazing and the application took me three months of my life. I was so excited. Now it's like… I feel sad and numb at the same time. I wasn't good enough.

No. 418566

Went to a group training event for work with a bunch of people from different branches and there was this one chick with danger hair that spent the entire time glaring in her seat instead of participating in the group activities. She would only interrupt the discussions to tell us how wrong or biased our choices were. Towards the end some guy finally shut her down but it was like dealing with a sjw caricature bitching at us for half the day

No. 418576

My friend doesn't call me for weeks on end. I don't find texting with her sufficient because it doesn't feel fulfilling at all, but it seems like all she'll do. When she's not working, she's probably getting dragged around outside by her family and friends. However when she has free time where she just vegs out and obsesses over her hobby. She never makes excuses not to but just… doesn't call me at all. It makes me sad.

No. 418581

Some people are just not callers, anon. They find it awkward/weird or have never been used to call a lot. Have you talked about about it? What about voicechat?

No. 418583


We used to call each other pretty frequently last year and calls lasted for an hour or two. It's usually the only time I enjoy social interaction since I don't worry about stuff I would IRL like eye contact and my appearance. I don't rely on her for socializing exactly and don't pressure her because of her job. Just not sure why those times we had are just not as stress relieving as whatever she's doing on her own.

No. 418584

I have that same shitty feeling too, Anon. Today I had a job interview that made me so nervous I barely slept that night/morning. Got there and while the interview went mostly ok, but at the end was the stinger.

The interviewer wanted to make a photocopy of my driver's license. I only have a permit and share a car with mom. Apparently the job listing didn't even mention that sometimes I would have to go traveling to drop stuff off. Because of that, I got outright rejected.

I'm just angry and sad at everything. At myself mostly. If I had a car I probably would've gotten a job that was a stepping stone towards my desired one.

So close yet the rug was pulled out from under me right at the last second. I feel like a big fuck-up and want to just cry and sleep for hours.

No. 418589

I think I should take a break from the internet. My inner voice has been so angry lately and all I can think to myself when other people post shit is "Holy fuck that's so stupid," or "Why did you bother posting this horseshit?"
The stuff in question is so mundane and shouldn't be making me as internally irritated as it is. Maybe I'm just getting bitter.

No. 418593

Hit him up with a "men that like anal are secretly gay" and let us know how he reacts.

No. 418594

I just felt a small lump in my breast by the side of my rib cage and now I'm terrified. I just started taking hormonal birth control for the first time 2 months ago. I don't even have health insurance, if I have cancer I guess I'll just straight up die.

No. 418595

What a badass. Fucking metal.

There's a million and one things that can small lumps, with supplementary hormones being among them. So maybe go off for a while and see if that makes a difference?

No. 418619

I've been doing intermittent fasting because I hit a plateau in my weight loss after 15lbs. I've been doing it for about a week. This morning the scale says I am 3lbs less. Holy fuck, is this actually working? I had to work my ass off for the first 15lbs and it took 9 months with daily exercise and shitty diets. I feel fatter than ever so maybe it's just water weight.

No. 418645

Fasting is a shit idea. You'll just bounce back harder later. Stick to building healthy habits. Slow and steady wins the race.

No. 418648

I just found out my abusive ex tried to contact me about 2 weeks ago. I cut all contact with him about a year ago, so this was kind of jarring. Gave me absolute heart pounding anxiety. I really hate the amount of fear he instilled in me and I feel silly getting a bit upset over something as small as this.

No. 418650

Anon this could be a totally harmless lump from bc. I had one too a couple of years ago and while it initially was terrifying and I saw a doctor, I was told it was transient and sure enough it went away. Don't freak out, although if you can see a doctor you should.

No. 418653

How old is she? Its a bit less concerning if she's a teenager because teenagers are stupid and gullible (although the drug use is a problem, and yes you're right in thinking she partakes) but your family should stage some type of intervention. A lot of this shit starts with hanging around druggies who have taken a tab of acid and now understand the universe.

No. 418657

I really don't like my boyfriend's and friends' friend.
He's fucking immature and gross, he nonstop talks about wanting to fuck the girls from BNHA, who are like 15-16, he bitches at me and my boyfriend over the simplest shit, he yells at his wife over VC
My boyfriend excuses it because.. Idfk. He excuses it because 'Well he must be stressed over work! He must just not think about underage girls because anime fans self insert!!"
I tried so hard to be his friend and ignore it but I just can't, there's also so much schoolgirl porn in his server and he lets it go cause he's probably fucking into it. I have to meet him irl for a week and I'm just gonna sideeye the shit outta him. I probably come off as a crazy sjw in the chat because I voice my disgust with his talk of wanting to fuck anime minors but I'm a CSA victim who was groomed by anime fan pedos and it's sick. Most everyone else there is chill but he's so obnoxious

No. 418669

also he makes rape jokes whilst I'm in the chat.

No. 418686

Yeah, you need to get them to drop this guy as a friend and from the chat. No offense but I see a lot of you girls post like "my weeb friend/bf/friend of friend is a creepy predator that wants to rape children" and while it is appalling, it's like… I think this should be expected of all weeb men. And I hate to break it to you, but if his behavior and thoughts were so unsettling to his friends and your bf, they wouldn't keep his company. It does say something about the males he associates with, imo.

No. 418692

Trust me, I want to just not talk to him anymore but I'd lose SO many friends bc of that, I'm already paying 400$ fuckin dollars to go to my friends' wedding who's also friends with him. It's really only this dude with one other or so but just… it's frustrating. It's so fucking frustrating, I'm close to blowing up at him. This dude is mental, he stopped talking to my bf for a while because he didn't fucking tell him we bought a new house in an MMO and he "hates secrets"
I don't understand how he has the sweetest wife ever, she's so kind to everyone including me and she's stuck with this slimeball. I want him to just get replaced and everything would be instantly fixed.

No. 418694

Does his wife know how gross he is? Imo, I'd rather have no friend group than be around disgusting men, and no offense, also around those that apparently take little issue with him when he's this repulsive, but yeah, I'm sorry there's no alternative without losing friends.

No. 418700

I've always kind of hated myself but now it's hit a new level.
One of my best friends dropped me the moment he got a steady gf. He says he didn't drop me specifically but it's obvious he never wants to meets up with me anymore. He does still meet up with my other good friends though and "forgets" to invite me wich makes me feel incredibly excluded.
It got me convinced all my other friends hate me too and that I'm worthless.
I should've known he'd do this because he did it the last time too. I'm the idiot who told him it was all forgiven and that he could just come back to our group without ever talking about him dumping everyone.
I'm so worthless, everyone would be better off without me…

No. 418703

Anon, you need to not take it so personally. I can PROMISE you that this just has to do with how retarded men establish and maintain friendships. They tend to drop out or seriously back off, especially if they like you, because their relationship is their priority, and they often don't want the 'temptation' of being close to a female friend when in relationships. It's a thing. I can basically promise you it's what's happening here and not a reflection of you as a person or your worth or anything.

No. 418709

Not a vent but will my brains degenerate if I have psychose and don't take medications for it? I quit because the meds I used to take for almost a year made me sluggish, hungry, impulsive in a slutty way and apparently takes away my lifespan. I want to live as long as possible to ruin other people's lives solely by existing. People hate me everywhere I go and I stopped caring but I want to know if there are any meds that have no severe side effects. Atypical ones all still eat away your lifespan. I don't see things that aren't there nor many voices but I am psychotic for other reasons.

Also here the actual vent: fuck people who bully/bullied me lol I hope my existence make them all die out of cringe. I am gonna try fixing my life with self-help books and psychologist. I know booolllies aren't reliable for good advice especially regarding psychiatry but they are right that my meds kill me sorta. Doesn't mean I should kill myself like they said, will do my utter most best and try to live easy simple life that won't be too much for my psycho brains.

Also are there psychotic people or other severly mentally ill people (no posers/mild ones pls) who contributed in society or turned out alri? And is there any benefits to being a looney psycho like people say with assburger that they are smart usually? Also why does every autist i know irl have friends/are outgoing/seem normal? They seem to have the diagnose but do not appear so. Some of the cows you all claim has no mental illness actually have more autism than the actual autists it seems.

No. 418710

>mfw I prefer droppers than clingy people

No. 418712

I still haven't worked up the courage to reschedule my appointment with the psychologist that was cancelled.
I went through a ludicrous amount of zolpidem this week and I honestly don't know how I'm going to explain to my GP that I gobbled 50+ tabs in two weeks, most of it during the day because I feel more alive and productive when I drugged up than sober. I don't know how I'm going to get through the withdrawals when I'm already feeling like killing myself and leaving it all behind.
Should have done it last weekend instead of drugging myself into a coma while my bf was gone. It would have been easier, noone to find me and some time to truly do it. I'm dumb and a coward.

No. 418716

>on psych ward for the second time
>super bummed out
>therapies slowly start making sense to me
>actually make progress
>feel happier
>decide to smile more
>super excited about going out and facing the world
>last day for me and other patient and its time to say goodbyes to the staff, doctors and patients
>dude i was totally cool with and laughed and hanged out with says in front of everybody… that i was only faking being happy to get out of the psych ward fast and that i was a phony
>mfw completely wiped the smile out of my face
>now super bummed out
>dont want to smile anymore
>4 am and cant sleep because i feel like everybody thinks im a phony for daring to try to be happy

No. 418717

That's why you don't make friends in the psych ward, anon. There tend to be a real crabs in a bucket mentality in there. Why do you even care? He's in the psych wards, probably having equally or worse problems than you.
You're not a phony trying to get better. Don't let that shit affect you.

No. 418720

The people who warrant their obsessive hate against weebs beginning their reasoning with "I knew a cringeworthy weeb back when I was 15" is retarded. Everyone was obnoxious as a teenager and they did stupid shit back then. A weeb wearing cat ears or a naruto headband to school is just another iteration of a goth kid going in with full goth gear or a stacey dressing up like a $5 stripper slut.

No. 418727

Was he even decent enough to give you a reason? The obvious one would be that his GF doesn't want him spending time with potential rivals. Which, shitty as it is for him to kowtow to, at least is something to not take personally.

No. 418769

Today is my 23rd birthday.
I spent the majority of the day alone or playing my dumb gook MMO.
I am a worthless neet. My parents have been filled with disdain the few times I saw them.
My grandma called me to take me out and we had a nice dinner but it felt so pitiful and I could tell she just didn't know what to do with me.
She bought me some cute hair bows and lace cat ear headband (I know, but I liked that stuff for the past 10 years so liking pink childish things is my identity I suppose) and I can't stop crying about it because I have not done my hair (it's a giant matted mess at the back of my head) despite her helping me detangle it plenty of times and I don't leave my house or get dressed up anymore or even bother showering 90% of the time so really she just wasted her money on something she thought would make me happy but in the end it just makes me feel more worthless and guilty.
I don't think there's any chance i'll ever get better, I have no skills and no real life experience, no friends and no one but my grandma to care for me.
I was going to kill myself last night (so nobody could say I was 23, at least it's less pathetic if i'm slightly younger right?) but I don't have any reliable method. I wish guns were more accessible in my country.
I had a seizure when I tried to overdose at 14 and nearly died but I don't know how likely it is to replicate that situation. I don't have the same drugs I took back then either.
Sometimes I consider asking some psycho to just kill me for the deal of getting to do whatever they want with my body once i'm dead, but I guess you can't trust psychos to not torture you/wait until you're dead.
There's so much more but i'm scared someone I know will recognize my post so maybe later.
Sorry to anyone autistic enough to read this.

No. 418774

1. Don't listen to anyone who is rude to you let alone a literal retard in a nuthouse who will live there forever
2. If you get sad that asshole will be right, do you want that?
3. Stay happy no matter what etcetc
4. How do you even have internet there? Or rather how did you?

No. 418775

Yeah ok no I'm a psycho diagnosed and unmedicated but I won't do that. And this is a vent thread but idk if you want advice or not?

No. 418776

Which MMO are you into?
Do you play any other games?
Are there social guilds and forums for others you can chill with?
NEEThood is just a state, and usually just a temp one, not something to be defined by. Once you find the root of why you're afraid of the world your life will turn around like magic.

No. 418777

>>418774 meant for >>418716
See what I mean? Don't listen to retards, ever.

No. 418780

This is too broad for people who are too far lost and/or had no chance but sounds charming (not sarcastic I was serious). I don't believe life is magic for anyone though. People work hard and that's it.

No. 418783

Shared last year classes with a guy who is the son of my father's brother and whose father pulled down my underwear to see if I hid his stolen gba game there. Well my brother stole it but I told him to not return it because our bio father never gave us a penny and only emotionally and physically abused us. Every time he is there my stomach ties a knot and I can't say anything. He poked my shoulder and asked if it was really me and I was dizzy. My brother finds him a chill guy and so does everyone. Moving on forwards, when I applied for a different course since he made me literally sick and my grades were bad, I decided to go for a different location. I saw him there applying too. What is going on? My stomach…And I was behaving all weird after seeing him and fucked the convo. But they liked me. It was the guy the day after (today) I had an interview with that hated me.

He bullied me with some people in classes too behind my back at least btw. Especially because they checked my grades. And my brother told me to stop being so autistic, yeah I know. It was long time ago and I do find it comical he's in the new location too. Will man up I guess. This is the same bitch who got money from his grandma/grandpa while they gave me and my brother none. And my grandpa is dying and is 79 while my retarded other grandpa is 87 and still does everything he wants. Hope he dies asap from torture. I don't wanna think about them but they keep coming into my life.

No. 418785

Oh hush, quiet you. She's only 23, so there's no had about it. Once she's worked out the knots in hair and her heart the difference in what she's able to achieve will at the very least feel like magic.

No. 418786

I wasn't talking about her. She said she has a grandma who takes care of her so she has at least one person. Why do you think everyone can just because of their age?

No. 418788

The younger that a person is the more room they have to grow. Plus everyone is down sometimes so the marker of a champion is in getting back up again.

No. 418791

(we're now talking about the absolute hopeless not the normal neets who have at least enough talent to be able to play games/read/whatever NEETs do)
I'd agree but only within 21 years of age. After that you are pretty much set, hence why personality disorders are official only when you're an adult. You can still learn of course but as you said, the older you get the less you can, so not if you're too far in the shitter.

No. 418793

One of my closest friends has used me as an emotional dumping ground and a free therapist for years, she literally goes from zero to hundred in a microsecond, no inbetween. She's super melodramatic and cries at the drop of the hat, but I rarely get emotional support from her in return. It's so exhausting that I've lost my ability to be sympathetic to her AND my other friends and frankly don't give a shit about any of their problems despite someone having a real issue that warrant a panic. I hate that I've become like this but I really can't help it. Nobody gives a shit about me, why should I care about others?

No. 418807

I was feeling the exact same thing last year anon, the emotional toll of it all especially being unreciprocated is not worth it to having these friends imho.

I feel much better hanging out with different people than the "best friends" who I had been super close to for years but became an emotional drain. I used to have a more active social life before, but I much prefer the peace I have now with my few (and a new) friends.

I am kinder/empathetic again, as you said it kinda makes you despondent-ish. Choose to be with people who consider your emotional/physical well-being if possible.

Have you asked them if they have considered therapy?
Is there any other friends/clubs etc you can join for social time away from them?

No. 418840

Literally not true. The brain doesn't even stop forming until 24-25.

No. 418852

Thank you anon! I called them just as I was leaving work to let them know if they were getting home too late that I was going to get dinner myself, but they said they were starting to leave and it took them a lot less time to get home than google maps said it would (an hour as opposed to two)!

We went out for korean bbq! It was so good… I ordered myself an extra dish because they made me wait a bit for them to get home haha.

No. 418857

File: 1559836588761.jpg (158.42 KB, 800x800, 458b4518575de4e79594557d6b9f1b…)

I'm thinking of ghosting my best friend. Not only does it seem like they don't care about me as much anymore, but I think I'm too emotionally dependent on them as well since they're also my only friend. It'd be good for me to learn how to be alone since it looks like that'll be the outcome sooner or later, whether I ghost them or not. They're a lot more functional than me and basically just a typical normie, while I'm a retarded NEET with no car, never had a job, living with my parents, and just barely got through high school. Which makes me think that our friendship still exists because "that's how its always been" and "it'd be weird without each other," or something, as we've known each other practically our whole life.
The only things they ever talk to me about are their other friends and how much fun they have with them. My mom frequently asks me if I'm planning on going to hang out with them or if they're coming over, to which I always have to reply with a no, reminding me that my only friend doesn't want to spend time with me. I recently mentioned these feelings of depression and loneliness to them and they gave me "I'm so sorry," "I feel like I neglected you," "You're my best friend I wanna know how you're feeling," etc. I took this to heart until the next few days afterwards, in which they continued to do all the same shit.
When we were younger we always said we only needed each other and nobody else. I bought it really fucking hard since I grew up in a terrible household and while I was never bullied, none of my other friendships have lasted more than a few months at most. They are literally the only person I've ever confided in and actually been myself to without any walls. Because of all this, I never bothered to make friends with other people and completely relied on my best friend. Obviously shit changes as you grow up but my younger self's mind failed to calculate this and now my social skills are stunted and it'd probably be beneficial to take this person away from my brain to get out of my comfort zone and actually learn said skills. At least for a while, but I have a feeling whether I'm around or not wouldn't make a difference in their life, so I question whether they'd even notice if I stopped talking to them and if it'd even be worth going back afterwards.

No. 418866

I feel for the disabled. Really, I do. They have no choice in their affliction.

However, there's someone I know who I absolutely despise. He is facially deformed (was born with a double-cleft pallet) and had stupid hillbilly parents who raised him on eggshells. He choked on food as a young child which led his parents to put him on a LIQUID diet. He is just now seeing a "SPEECH THERAPIST" who is helping him eat foods again as a 30-year-old man. It is all mental. The guy is a raging hypochondriac who will go to the ER over a bruise. Every week, he posts about some aliment or other and asks if he should go to the ER for it. I know it's not his fault… his parents raised him as if he were made of glass. But if you question him on it he will get defensive and always has an excuse for why something is worse than it seems. He's in a perpetual state of "dying".

To make matters worse, he has recently become engaged to another disabled person who he has been dating for 6 months. So, in-between all of these posts about him being overnight in the hospital for being dizzy, I have to see him talk about his disabled fiance and all the great things they will do together, how they will live together, etc.

The thing is, who is paying for this? I am. Everyone in this state is. He is on Medicaid, not his own insurance. Every time this guy gets a flea bite and calls an ambulance WE are paying for it. There needs to be a crackdown on these things because he is being enabled to do so, and if he weren't, he wouldn't. Think about it. His last hospital stay alone for "ataxia" must have cost the state AT LEAST $9k. He had an ambulance, two overnight stays, and multiple scans. He doesn't work despite being completely capable of doing so (his facial abnormality is the only true disability) and lives in an assisted living community.

There are people out there who need these services. It just disgusts me that someone like him his permitted to live the way he does and no one can say anything because he's got a retarded face.

No. 418868

It sounds like the issue is really not that you should ghost them but rather that to attain happiness you need to build and work on your own life goals and find an environment in which you can develop your own social group (like higher education and/or a suitable workplace and clubs or hobby events) since it makes you unhappy to hear about your friend socializing while you sink further into loneliness and unproductivity. Obviously at this point you would only become more depressed after you ghost them and isolate yourself more set on a self-fulfilling prophecy you’ve decided on of loneliness and misery but it is your choice whether or not to continue forever as a self-pitying NEET or to do like everyone else does and truly apply yourself to bettering your life and doing things that bring you genuine happiness.

No. 418925

I wish my brother would just fuck off and die already.

Useless fatass abusive pedophilic NEET piece of shit.

No. 418930

That's really vitriolic, anon. What did he do?

No. 418952

And now he's getting a spinal tap tomorrow after his MRI's came back completely fine. What the fuck.

No. 418959

Translator anon here: I really feel this. This is such a shitty thing to happen. I know that both of us will eventually find something suitable and nice, but the lost opportunities hurt like mad. Especially if it wasn't even your fault. Sleep it out, buy yourself something nice, cry a bit and it will get better (this is what I've done today). I wish you happiness and great opportunities to obtain your dream job in the future!

No. 418960

If you have genuine proof that he's scamming the system, then you should be able to report that as fraud. Easy.
If basic stuff like xrays or ambulances are worth several thousands in your country then just get over it, because that's an inflated cost and it's just a small unfortunate part that comes alongside Healthcare for all. Medicaid isn't literally billing that full inflated customer facing "cost of that ambulance ride, that ride is done at cost price.

No. 418965

>cost price
How much do you think that is? Even subsidized these costs add up. He's taking up a bed in a hospital and gumming up the system regardless and making it harder for other people to be helped. All because no one has told him "no". It's a matter of principal even outside of the costs. He is wasting time and resources.

No. 418973

Yes he is wasting resources, I fully agree, but if doctors refused to treat fakers or over dramatics they would be risking the lives of many through the culture which that would create. It's unsatisfying but it's still better to waste some time instead of risking missing something.
In the hospitals here, once doctors have checked all the boxes they tend to just do the bare minimum to keep the crazy patient happy that something or anything is being done, whilst covering their ass. He is wasting their time now but he won't be getting that full gold star diagnostic routine every time forever.
Catch him in fraud or get over it. Thinking about it will just make you mad.

No. 418986

I really wish I could say fuck off to MLM scams. I know its a scam but I feel bad saying to them to fuck off

No. 418989

samefag fuck they want to call me now

No. 418990

I'm just about halfway done paying off my student loans. I didn't graduate with that much compared to my peers because I was in admitted through a special program for students in need of financial assistance, on top of government financial assistance. Mind you, I wouldn't have been admitted to my college without this program because my grades were too low for general admission (not only do you have to meet the financial requirements, your grades have to be in a certain range as well. The idea behind the specific grade range is that your poorer financial background keeps you from affording tutors, or maybe you had to work to support your family and therefore your grades suffered, etc.).

Anyway, I graduate, get a shit retail job that pays a little over minimum wage and get to busting my ass to pay off my loans as quick as possible. My monthly payments are a pretty small amount for a 10 year period, but I don't feel like being in debt for 10 years, so I pay A LOT more. I live with my parents and don't pay rent, so I'm able to put a hefty part of my paychecks towards it. Once I was talking to a friend and she started bitching at me because I had smaller loans than her and she was angry that I was able to get more financial assistance during our college years because of the program I was in- she was so bitter that she wasn't in it even though she met the financial requirements. But she didn't even apply through it. Even if she did, her grades were too high for the program. I tell her that I would have never been admitted to our college if I applied through general admissions (I actually only applied to the program because my advisor in high school didn't have enough college application fee waivers for everyone so she told me to apply via this program since the fee is waived automatically lol)

All she sees it as is money, but I view the program as more than that. Yeah, I got an extra thousand in my financial aid every semester, but I also had a sort of family through this program. I had a whole bunch of peers and advisors who did everything they possibly could to make sure that we succeeded academically- we were required to take extra classes to help us adjust to college life, required to attend extra seminars, and required to go to math/english tutoring and were barred from greek life for our entire first year.

Anyway, post-college she's bitching about how much more she has in loans/higher her minimum is than mine. I get it, but I'm also paying the combined amount of her minimum payment and mine every month. I worked long hours every week at my old job so I can afford to. She lives at home with her parents too, not paying rent, and got a job through our friend. She only works two days a week, did not want more hours (our friend literally asked her when we were in a voice chat if she wanted more- our friend said she would talk to a manager to get her scheduled more and she said no, RIGHT AFTER complaining about only working 2 days), and blows most of her money on kpop merch. She eats out at all these expensive places, and even said that if she couldn't pay her minimum that her parents would help her out. It's none of my business how she blows her money or if her parents help her pay for her loans, but I don't want to hear her bitching at me about how much less my loans are when I still work way longer hours so I can afford big monthly payments on top of the other luxuries I allow myself to have.

Ugh. Fuck this bitch. Hopefully I'll be done with my loans in the next year or so. I wanna rub it in her face.

No. 418991

Just tell them to fuck off, they can't bite you over the phone!

No. 418996

Just tell them politely to fuck off. Everyone is afraid to call my house or ring the doorbell because my mom is so aggressive towards them, it's great. Just tell them to remove you from their call list and if they persist, threaten to call the police. DON'T do this if they're some Indian scammer though, just silently hang up.

No. 418998


I will do that I gotta grow a backbone and be more aggressive

No. 419014

seeing friends regress into insufferable sjws through the years is depressing

i know i shouldn't affect myself when they say hurtful shit towards a certain demographic but they sound pretty serious about it

but i'm an exception because "i'm a friend"

i wouldn't be surprised if one day they "cancel" and drag me once there's no one else to pick on because i'm not woke enough for them

No. 419028

File: 1559860638166.jpg (76.21 KB, 1424x1000, 1544508559646.jpg)

I have a really bad UTI with burning that I've never experienced before, I still have my period and I have to get up in 6 hours to go to work which is very physical.
I don't know what I'm going to do, it came out of nowhere and I can't miss work but it burns so much and I want to pee every 5 seconds. Make it stop. Also it's really hot in here so I'm twice as uncomfortable.

No. 419029

You can buy OTC pain relief for UTIs! They won’t cure them, but they should be able to hold you over until you can get to a doctor to get antibiotics!

No. 419033

No advice really, but wanted to say that fucking sucks and I’m sorry. I hope you get some rest, ugh what an awful combo

No. 419038

Pls name some anon
I took a paracetamol and an ibuprofen in an act of desperation but nothing seems to help
Thank you anon, I'm so tired but I can't get off the toilet

No. 419040

File: 1559862783078.png (1.36 MB, 984x551, cats-on-vacation.png)

I just came back from a 4 day vacation with the entire side of my dads family and fuck am I tired. Those people managed to go to sleep at midnight every day and somehow wake up energized?! I love them more than anything, but they have the stamina of gods. My 7 year old nephew also won a plastic trumpet at a fair and I can still hear him blowing it.

No. 419041

There's a bunch of 40/50 year olds having a party behind my house and hearing these old women screech for attention is maddening. One keeps moaning but trying to make it into a laugh? I had to spy on them they're all over weight and I can't cope it feels like I'm going to hear an orgy happen any god damn minute I want to call the police lol

No. 419052

File: 1559864480068.gif (5.73 MB, 500x281, F6BDCD74-4795-4A58-9EF5-0702D0…)

I’m so much of a fucking doormat people pleaser idk how to stop!!! I took a job thinking it’s just gonna be mostly paperwork but I actually have to talk to entitled retards who think they know better. I physically bite my tongue so I’m not apologizing constantly. It makes me feel like shit when clients Sound upset even when it has nothing to do with me. I spend forever obsessing over writing emails where I have to deliver bad news. I’m under qualified for this shit as I’m fresh out of NEETdom but I can’t afford to look elsewhere right now. I need the money and the experience… The women I work with are very competent but they’re all very busy and ain’t got time to teach me how to not be a baby. Any resources on growing a spine and skin?? I want to be a Gori or Washimi but I’m just Retsuko deep down…

No. 419058

I'm with you anon. Old people suck and should die.

No. 419060

>ON'T do this if they're some Indian scammer though, just silently hang up.
Why not?

No. 419077

They will continue to call the number if they know someone has responded on the other end. Also, some scammers will record the conversation to use personal information the receiver might give.

No. 419095

Why do people have this mentality like they aren't gonna get old

No. 419098

Live fast, die young. YOLO.

No. 419133

I hate autistic / assburgers people so much. Especially the men. I work at a gaming place so they're everywhere and occasionally we'll get the really bad one that clings and can't take a hint. They have no filter and I can never tell if they mean to be rude or they're just too socially retarded to know that their being insulting. I swear most of them are just shitty people that use their weak ass mental issues as a cover for being pricks and ignoring common social graces.

they make me genocidal

No. 419155

I feel bad for them. even the ones that try really hard to hide it are still pretty obviously on the spectrum when you sit down and think about it.

No. 419158

After I found out how undiagnosed autism is in women because we're so much better socialized, I've come to kinda resent male autists tbh. Not the severely low functioning ones, the ones who are almost normal but just come across as awkward spergy losers. It's annoying that men can get away with having zero concern for social tact but women are shoved into a ladylike box and have to put in effort to seem normal to the point that people can't even tell they're autistic.

No. 419160

File: 1559879174582.jpg (34.21 KB, 580x548, 1553812125105.jpg)

I'm so sick of this waifu faggotry shit all over the internet and in my video games. I can't play or watch anything without some female character mentioning how they're a pure virgin or how much of a big sister or mommy they are. i'm sick of this shit man

No. 419167

same girl, same.

No. 419171

nta but my doctor told me to get cystex at the store when I picked up my antibiotics. They will make your pee red and might stain your underwear so make sure to wear your granny panties. Also, it helped so much that I accidentally pee in bed that night because I didn't feel the sensation to pee strongly enough to wake me up. It was worth it though, it helped me get through work. Good luck, I feel for you.

No. 419173

i'm stuck in a shitty toxic relationship and lately it's been getting much harder to deal with. he controls everything, i'm not allowed to have friends other than him, i was made to drop all of my interests in favor of his but when i express any interest in what he likes he shuts me down, i have to pick up after him constantly because he trashes the house, i'm always getting insulted, i can't wear what i want, i even stopped eating again since he throws a fit if i'm even a little bit out of my usual weight range. recently i gained a few pounds from changing birth control and he freaked out on me and kept accusing me of laziness even though i kept trying to explain side effects to him and that i was still exercising every day not eating. mind you, he's almost 70 pounds overweight but i have to weigh 100 pounds or lower or else he loses his shit. it's not just my weight either, i started hating things about myself i didn't even notice until he started pointing them out and reminding me of how hideous he thinks i look. im also pretty sure he uses being into bdsm as an excuse to beat me and not feel bad about it if he can convince himself "it's just a kink", but he seems to get way too much joy out of hurting me even if it is just that and he knows i can't say no to anything he asks. i don't want to go into it much but i have been sexually abused and saying no is painful, sometimes downright terrifying to me, i'm afraid he'll do worse if i tell him i don't want him to do something.

i guess the only redeeming thing about him is how he doesn't hit me outside of sex, but he's awful in every other aspect that it wouldn't make a difference at this point. i've tried breaking up with him before when it's gotten really bad but he never uses it as an opportunity to change, he just tells me i won't find anyone else if i throw him out of my house, and i know i shouldn't care if i never date again after him… but i was and am still pretty desperate for love and i honestly dont think i can do better. he's dated other girls before me and if i leave he'll just start doing the same shit to someone else, i don't want that to happen.

the only way out i can think of right now is to die, i don't want to be lonely again but i'm tired of being with a guy who says he loves me but acts like he hates me. i feel so trapped

No. 419175

I'm just so annoyed with my life right now. I got laid off a year ago because the company went out of business. I spent months looking for a new job before taking a crappy call center job because I have bills to pay and only so much unemployment. I've been balancing bills and I'm still not completely caught up because shit is expensive. But I'm making payments. I moved into my dad's basement to save money on rent. Dad lives with his new wife btw.

My fucking autistic brother meanwhile gets to live at home, have his food, video games and car paid for with no expectations. He's not even expected to clean or cut the grass because he just throws a fit and no one wants to deal with it.

I work a shit full time job and he just got a temp part time job. I got told to not use the shower in the morning so he can use it because this job is huge for him. It's like walking on eggshells in this house and it's weighing on my mental health. Every time I've gotten depressed I just get told to suck it up and smile. I'm just emotional and sensitive~ I need to toughen up.

I need to stick it out for a year or so to save money again and I should be grateful, I know, but I feel like a failure again.

No. 419177

It wouldn't bother me so much if we got male characters pandering to the female audience too, like where the fuck are my men who talk about how they are faithful and respectful to their partner and love to give me backrubs?

But no, companies think female pandering = trannies and a slightly muscular lady with an undercut.

No. 419178

Step 1. Walk out the door.
Step 2. Keep walking.
The only worse than being in a shitty toxic relationship for however long you have so far is being in a shitty toxic relationship for however long you have so far and a day.

No. 419179

It's your house and you can kick him out anytime, if I'm reading this right?

Get him out. This sounds terrible, just a horrible asshole in every way. Why do you have him around? What's the point?
He is just making you feel like shit and from what you said, I can already see you are a far better human than he is.

No. 419181

Jesus christ, get a therapist and LEAVE. You aren't trapped so stop making excuses to stay. Being alone is infinitely better than being with an abuser, he clearly doesn't love you and you gain nothing from the relationship.

And even if you can't deal with being alone, the idea that you cant do better is nonsense he is using to manipulate you… lbr if you are actually under 100lbs you already have your pick of guys who will be over the moon to have a gf like you. But at any weight a girl can still do better than an abuser.

No. 419183

You CAN do better. Being alone is better than what you have now. You most likely will be able to find a better man if you wish to. Most importantly you just deserve better than this. Kick the piece of trash out and regain control, you said you've broken up with him before. We believe in you anon.

No. 419186

What are you watching/playing where that kind of stuff is actually mentioned in canon. Eroge? Yeah it's the kind of stuff male fans will bring up a lot but the characters themselves don't.

No. 419189

How is dying going to solve anything? You’re worried about breaking up because he’ll just do the same thing to another girl, but if you die the same thing will happen plus you’ll be dead, so you might as well live, and just kick him out and break up.

I know everybody puts the blame on women, the victims, to “protect” everybody else, and it’s “our fault” if we don’t report rapists or gropers or abusive men, and they attack other women, but that’s bullshit. It’s not our responsibility to prevent men from ever hurting anybody, it’s not our burden. He’s the asshole and nobody else. He’s the shitty person, not you.

No. 419192

No clue tbh, I'm too scared to outright ask her cause it'll likely go bad for me. All I know is she doesn't like sexualization of minors and goes like "ew.." when he says gross shit.. also when he yells at her she just gets quiet and apologizes.. it's really sad. I'm just gonna try and ignore his existence tbh.

No. 419198

are you playing fire emblem conquest?

No. 419204

Ive been with my boyfriend since some time last April. we're both in our early 20s. everything was going blissfully until a few weeks ago. he's a weeb and has a lot of anime posters and figurines in his bedroom. Now, I don't like anime at all, but I don't care that he does. I've known what lolis were for a while, and I thought that they were always really small like little kids, but apparently sometimes they aren't super small and just have small breasts/small ass/narrow hips to show that they're pubescent/prepubescent. I realized one of his posters fit that description and asked him if it was a loli and he said yes. he said it was from an anime he watches that I can't remember the name of. I asked him if he watched lolicon and he paused and said "not really". Apparently I said he was weird (which I don't remember saying) but he got super touchy about it and started asking me if I went to his house because I felt obligated to. First he told me that he was exposed to porn at a young age and that his loli poster was "relic" of that time or something. But after that he told me that the only reason he likes lolis is because they have small tits and that he watches loli hentai when he wants to see small tits instead of big tits (which I thought hentai with lolis in it counted as lolicon, but Idk). he told me that the whole point of a loli is to just be a woman who has small tits, ass etc instead of being curvy. (I said this was bullshit because the name loli comes from the book lolita and we all know what that's about). yet every time I google loli it is a bunch of people saying how they're delicious forbidden fruit, nothing about them merely having small tits.

we have gotten in a few arguments about it since then and he says that he's really ashamed of liking lolis and that he wishes he never told me he liked them because I made it clear that I'm very disgusted by sexual depictions of lolis and it always makes him feel bad about himself. I asked him if the only reason he likes them is because they have small tits and not being underaged or anything then why is he so ashamed and his answer was someting like "because it's society's understanding of what a loli is". which doesn't make sense to me but okay.
another thing is that he watches porn 2-3 times a day every day. we haven't had sex yet, and I told him that if we were having sex on a regular basis and he was still watching porn every day that I would feel hurt. first he got really defensive and then I said it was because I would feel like I wasn't enough for him. Then he apologized because he thought I just meant that I would feel hurt in general I guess, like jealous? but I don't get why that would be bad of me either? and just anytime I say anything remotely critical of porn he just gets super defensive. also he is always texting me pictures of anime girls that he thinks are hot and it kind of hurts my feelings but I don't want to tell him because I don't want to seem jealous or possessive.

I have no friends besides him. I have a TON of mental health issues and I feel super attached to him and the thought of leaving him is REALLY upsetting to me because I feel dependent on him. Also I still love him because he has a lot of redeeming qualities but the whole loli and porn thing just really gets to me. there's a lot more I could say but this is already far too long.

No. 419205

My boyfriend is so nice and kind but when he's with his friends esp his roommate he gets so mean, like jokingly mean and he apologizes soon after but it's legit things like "Yeah I have no taste it's why I'm dating you" and just yeah all jokes about breaking up with me and how he's dating me. I have bpd and I can't take it. I talk to him about how it's upsetting and he apologizes but does it again

No. 419207

When you say
>some time last April
Do you mean 2018 (as I'm thinking) or 2019? Because that's a long time to wait for sex, especially if you're both in your 20s.
That said, watching porn three times a day is excessive and he should maybe ask himself why he needs that.

No. 419210

sorry, I realize how that could be confusing. I mean April 2019. It really hasn't been that long for us. and also we're both virgins.

No. 419212

Yeah, he's a pedo and he knows it, hence getting so defensive and trying to put the blame on you for making him 'feel bad' about masturbating to children. Flat chested anime girls who aren't lolis are common.

Even if he wasn't a pornsick loser weeb who values porn and anime over you, you would still be better off single and learning to love yourself if you're that dependent on him. How is that healthy at all?

No. 419215

Anon, you're completely justified in feeling uncomfortable. This kind of content, no matter how he describes it to you, isn't normal and he's desensitised himself to how creepy it is. Anyone in your shoes would have the same reaction. Watching porn multiple times a day isn't normal or good for one's mental health either (take it from someone who once had a porn addiction herself). Porn addicted people know what they're doing is shameful and that's probably why he gets so defensive, he knows deep down that you're right. I hate to say it but I think I should be honest with you: for this kind of person, a real girlfriend will never do. Even if you start having sex, he probably won't be able to get hard because he's so used to the constant masturbating and only seeing 2d shit as sexual, he'll be imagining one of those loli girls to keep it up.

If you want a relationship with this guy, you're going to have to be honest about everything. Tell him that all of this makes you uncomfortable and you feel like you're second best because right now you're making him feel like you're okay with it by being silent. You don't have to put up with anything that makes you uncomfortable. If he cares about you, he'll make an effort to stop. If he gets defensive again, you have to walk. I know you don't have friends for support and that's going to be difficult but consider what this relationship will look like on a few years and ask yourself if that's really better than feeling lonely.

No. 419216

And now I'm melting down bc I misunderstood him on something and thought he was making sexual assault jokes behind my back which upsets me greatly as he used to do that with me a LOT. Basically I said his jokes get much worse around his friends and he said "I already tone myself down and watch what I say around you." I'm so paranoid. I hate beig like this so fucking much

No. 419217

His behaviour is disgusting even if you don't have bpd. If he talks like that about you and to you you should not date him. At all.

No. 419220

It's definitely not okay to make jokes like that after you told him it makes you uncomfortable. I feel like I'm guilty of making jokes like that to people I love because I am insecure and I like to play down how much that person means to me. To cushion myself. I don't know if that's why he's doing it but it's something to think about. That being said he needs to stop if it is upsetting you so much. There's only so much someone can take before things are damaged beyond repair.

No. 419223

>flat chested anime girls who aren't lolis are common
see, that's what I thought. I asked him why he couldn't watch porn of adult women with small tits and he said that with hentai all of the women have giant tits unless they're lolis. which sounded like bullshit to me but I couldn't disagree because I've never watched hentai. and yes it's very unhealthy, I'm just emotionally unstable and afraid that becoming single all of a sudden will cause me to have a mental breakdown. and also I still have feelings for him and I feel like if I break up with him I will never have another boyfriend. I'm going to see a therapist soon so I will bring this up to them.

I'm afraid to bring it up to him again because it always turns into a heated argument and I can't make him see from my point of view on it. honestly I think he just resents me for being disgusted by it.

No. 419224

File: 1559900801554.png (91.83 KB, 778x1508, E22CA282-3E47-4CA5-ADBE-DD6408…)

I think I am showing schizophrenic symptoms and I don’t know what to do. Im probably just worrying about it now after I received weird reactions from my friends. I am aware how it is delusional but I cant stop thinking about it. The more I sit around the more dots are connecting for me. Its taking up my every thought and Im trying so hard to make sense of it to those around me.
Pic related is a summary of how I feel. Basically I died long ago and now Im living in a fake universe made by a higher being or God. Nothing else in this universe is real except God and I and everything was set up as a test. Many barriers are put up like the Black Hole and the MBS system(Mind Body Soul system) that make it hard to make proper decisions. To summarize i created the MBS system in a Venn diagram to describe the relationships between One(me) and God(all) and the Mind Body Soul because sometimes I feel dissociated though that is unrelated to the delusions too much. I cant talk to people about it because they will see me as a threat or something. I know Im asking the fake persons now (you guys) and that would effect the result of the tests (God’s test) but I need help with the progress.
I I dont know whats happening anymore.

No. 419225

My husband got caught up in the Ryzen hype even though he has a very limited understanding of hardware. He now wants me to build one of those gaming rigs with water cooling and LEDs. It would be a fun project to do together but it would cost a lot of money and be completely pointless because neither of us play a lot of video games. Our current desktops that I built in 2014 and 2016 are still perfectly capable for what we use them for. I'd much prefer it if I could spend the money on a new ThinkPad for me and a new Toughbook for him because we actually need them to run his business. He won't agree because I guess a new work laptop isn't as exciting as a light up gaming pc.

No. 419226

I mean, all the astrology and witch-chans believe similar ridiculous shit. I can tell you for sure that this world is real. I have no reason to doubt that.
I think take up a particular religion, astrology or witchcraft to channel your creative thoughts into so they have structure, and don't infringe on your daily life.

Believing in made up stuff is pretty normal. I think over 50% of Americans are Christians, even if not all of them believe in a physical man in the sky.

No. 419227

Just buy some LED lights off eBay to satiate that need for sparkly lights. He can position them around his current setup for the same effect.

No. 419229

First of all, sorry to hear about the gaming pc. Maybe you could talk some sense in him and give it a few days until the hype wears of?
Or make some compromise like build a new PC for way less? You can build a decent gaming rig with shiny lights for $500. It could be a fun build-a-budget-pc project you can do together while scouring for best deals.

Secondly, if you're the anon that recommended me a thinkpad, I really need to thank you for doing that!

Even though the t440p is a lot older than my previous laptop, it's miles better. I just added some extra RAM (16GB total!), an SSD, all that for less than $200 and it's a beast. Not only that but the keyboard is absolutely fantastic and it feels overall so good to work on a ThinkPad.
I've read lots of people complaining that it's big and heavy but tbh it's really light and easy to carry around.

It's honestly one of the best advice I got techwise on an imageboard, so thanks again!

No. 419231

anime really brings out the degeneracy in people

No. 419232

If you truly believe this you are not well, anon. Seek professional help as soon as you can.

No. 419233

You need to see a therapist. I know you won't believe me, since you think I'm fake, but if you're close with your family or a friend please speak to them about this.
People have all sorts of beliefs to get them through life but when they get this extreme, it's the opposite of helpful for you. I'm sorry but you aren't the only person that's real, and you need help.

No. 419235

"I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom's realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer's Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care.

Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content.

Let teachers and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content."

See a doctor, get on lithium. If you say this a test then maybe the way pass it is to trust we want the best for you. God wouldn't have put us on this rock to be alone.

No. 419240

>it always turns into a heated argument and I can't make him see from my point of view on it.

I mean, doesn't that say everything? If he's comfortable being this horrible to you so early on in the relationship, what's he going to be like in the future when he shows his true self? He clearly doesn't care about you if he doesn't appreciate that this is bothering you.

No. 419242

Fucking this. When the fuck are qw going to get chivalry back in the goddamn media and men being nice. Girls like a bit of rough round the edges i.e. Not a mommas boy. Fuuuck

No. 419245

I'm not knowledgeable when it comes to how the mind works exactly. I want to give advice, but I do not consider my perspective to the right one or the only one.
Your thoughts seem like a combination of many things. On their own, each part isn't harmful, but all of them together foster the paranoia you've been having. You may not have one root of pain, but multiple ones that all overlap.

I had a vaguely similar thought, but it didn't affect me negatively. Made me feel a bit sad or confused, but that was it. It accumulated like this:
1) Films like The Matrix made me think "What if the world was artificially created?" and so forth. But that is fiction, so I paid no mind.
2) Conspiracy theories I watched via YouTube: aliens and hoaxes and faking video/image evidence. This started shifting my mind from fiction into reality. Is the impossible actually possible?
3) History is what it is because we are told it is that way. All of the books and the documents over the centuries–what if they were all false? Made by someone, something else?
4) Religion is the same. (I was raised Catholic, but I am now agnostic). I have no physical proof, so I don't believe in it. But I would think sometimes, "God" or whatever may be not one thing, but everything else except me. Did I used to have an energy/aura with God, and now it's gone?
5) This accumulated into when I would ponder, lightheartedly, if I was the only flesh-and-blood person. That the world was a test, created by God or aliens or whatever. I was raised from birth by beings who were programmed to act a certain way.
5a) I thought that I was perhaps an experiment. Kidnapped from Earth and placed in a simulation to study me.
5b) Alternatively, I would think that I was the last human left on Earth, and the creator of the simulation was letting me have a normal-as-possible life to spare me of reality.

Now I take a deep breath and say that I have never believed these things, truly. It's an overactive imagination. It would occasionally tickle me with paranoia or dread, but I rationalized whether I was the same or different from everyone else, I just didn't give a shit. My mom could be human-mom or simulation-mom, but she still acts the same.

However–and this is the difference between you and me–I have never had physical or psychological ailments from these thoughts. I can estimate how your thoughts came to be that way, but I cannot be certain and I cannot diagnose.
Your initial trauma of falling down the stairs may have triggered unhealthy thought patterns. To be confronted with injury and the thought of death at a young age can be scarring.
You started having "reality shifting" when you were 15. Was this a stressful or overwhelming part of your life? I know this sounds off-topic or generic to ask. I don't know if you've always been a believer in God. Do you use this presence of God to make sense of bad things that have happened in your life? Do you feel out of place or isolated, and this is the reason why?
You presume that the only way to prove whether this is a world made by God or not (to "pass the test") is to murder someone. I don't know if you're thinking of the Biblical God, but if you "died" then are you in Heaven? If you are suffering, then you are not in heaven.
Is this the Biblical devil who created this world? Is this a "Hell" that he's created for you to suffer in?
Or is this just a random supernatural being, just toying with you? Is he doing it out of ignorance or to inflict deliberate harm?
I believe that once you die, you do not live again. And if you do not live again, you do not die again.
Why does murder prove the legitimacy? Death is all around. If the media is providing false images of death… does a non-human murder suffice? If you step on a bug or kill a mouse in a mouse-trap, is that not proof enough? Humans are animals–the anatomy of a mouse has many similarities to that of a human. Our fetuses look similar. Our skeletons look similar.
What if you aren't the only one? What if the life you take is another "real" person? If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck… If the people around you believe they are human, and look/sound/feel the part, then it's simplest to conclude that they are human. Everybody (I presume) respects your humanity, and you should respect theirs.
What if everyone else is the human, and you are the non-human? Even if you feel different from everyone else, you'd still want to be respected and treated with kindness and dignity.
If this is a simulation, then murder will not prove the existence of "God". I don't think he would step out from behind the curtrain and shake your hand. I think he would let things go as they will.

If he is filling you with these thoughts and making you suffer, then he does NOT have your best interests in mind. And if you do what he says, if you "break the rules" of society or whatever, and it turns out that this is all fake–that does NOT undo the damage you have suffered.
Do NOT listen to the God in your head. Give him the middle finger.

On a personal level: yes, I believe that you are experiencing severe delusions. I think you should talk to a professional about this. I don't think this is something that you can psyche yourself out of, unless you are open to the idea of "God" not existing in the first place. The life you live, wherever it is, deserves to be happy and at peace.
If the world seems strange to you, ask questions, ask for help. If your mind is hurting you, do not let it hurt others.

Yes, I did write a 1000+ word response. And yes… I think my mind is a bit strange.

No. 419247

>I still have feelings for him and I feel like if I break up with him I will never have another boyfriend.
I know it doesn't feel that way now, but this is fake news. Your brain is lying to you. Take the plunge, you'll cry a lot but you'll feel so free.

No. 419253

My overweight father has yet again read some dumb article about losing weight fast. This time it is that not eating after 6pm is supposedly all you need to do to lose weight and that my borderline anorexic mother is doing the "right thing" with not eating anything except for breakfast. Also that it is "in our genes" and that our digestive sytem
apparently magically knows to slow down after 6pm because "our ancestors did so". I think this is bullcrap since a lot of people are doing night shifts and go to bed and wake up at different hours -
and the weight loss is only about calories in and calories out and how much exercise you are doing. If you ate like a whale the whole day fasting after 6pm will do jackshit. Can someone provide me some scientific research and good articles to destroy his dumb ass? Normally I wouldn't care less about what he has to say since he never follows through with his pseudo-science-bullshit but this time he tries to get my siblings to believe him. His dumb ass is seriously starting to annoy me

No. 419261

I think my psychologist is giving me bad advice on purpose just to keep me in therapy. I just get confused because he doesn't need my money, he's rich, I don't make any difference, why does he do this? Everybody else just gets in my life to fuck me up, I'm pretty sure people are just plotting to have me kill myself because they know of my past. There was this guy who was using me as his lab rat basically and it took me SO LONG to wake the fuck up. I hate psychology students, I hope this one dies in a fire and everything he loves fucking crumbles before him… I just want people to leave me alone, I see their true intentions in every sentence of theirs, I can read through it, MY SENSES DON'T LIE.

No. 419270

isn't that enough for justified vitriol. why do you need details? i find it always a suspect.

No. 419280

An artist I've followed for years blocked me on twitter and I don't have any idea why. I never tweet, just follow a bunch of people and like/retweet stuff. It's probably not that deep but it's going to bother me all day. I've never once interacted with them and I find it very strange I wound up on their radar at all.

No. 419282

You're on a block chain probs. Someone that you follow is someone they don't like.

No. 419286

So sorry for the late reply, but like the other anon said, Cystex is good! That's the one I personally get (though it doesn't turn my pee orange/red). Azo is another brand and I figure it works just as good. Also some people recommend cranberry pills daily to prevent future UTIs but I don't take them. Always wipe front to back, drink lots of water to flush out bacteria. Good luck anon! I used to frequently get utis all the time for no reason, like 2 maybe 3 times a year. My doctors couldn't figure out what the fuck it was but I think some women are just more susceptible to them (I started getting them at a super young age).

Also please, please, PLEASE finishing taking all your antibiotics. Symptoms may disappear completely midway through taking them, but please finish taking them so the antibiotics can get rid of any lingering bacteria. I only say this because I was a little shit who stopped halfway through (my thought process was to save the pills for another UTI since I got them so often) and it'll only increase the chance it'll come back. Don't be a dumbass like me anon.

No. 419288

File: 1559915148277.jpg (58.86 KB, 540x702, b55ee6595e645d5ab3a6b1bc404534…)

>tfw the only other person working in administration left because of structural changes
>tfw these changes don't really lessen administration workload
>tfw everyone just expects you to pick up all of his work together with your own now

No. 419289

Well that sucks, I love their work and have even bought merch from them. Oh well.

No. 419291

i'm on a discord with an 18+ channel for posting porn, and recently found out that one of the members (who had to tell a mod he was 18 to gain access to it) is only 15. i told a mod because this could mess us up legally and he doesn't even care. like, i realize kids are going to look at porn no matter what, but i feel like once you go telling other people there that you're a minor, you shouldn't be allowed in. i just want to cover my own ass, you know?

No. 419297

That's really scummy tbh
I would have definitely kicked him the moment I knew. That kid is an idiot.

No. 419299

what kind of advice are they giving you?

No. 419304

this is something i've never understood about kids these days, happily announcing their age while following people or joining discords with age restrictions. i don't understand why they can't just lie like literally everyone did to look at porn in the early-mid 2000s. i'd just leave the server if i were you tbh

No. 419317

Tell them.

No. 419319

Fact you said
>I am aware how it is delusional but I cant stop thinking about it.
It is just a fantasy. Idk why people are saying you may be experiencing severe delusion. I'd go to the doctor for something else, you may be fantasizing to cope with things, like a trauma/depression/etc…
People who are delusional really don't know and get defensive. Jesus armchair psychos are fucking stupid.

No. 419337

My room mate keeps “accidentally” breaking my stuff and it’s making me sad and annoyed. I say “accidentally” because technically it’s accidental, but it’s because he refuses to take care of anything, no matter who it belongs to. He also conveniently doesn’t mention it until it can’t be avoided. I just found a cute personal sized crock that I was gifted and loved broken under a pile of shit on his desk.

He also broke the handle off the lid of an expensive handmade teapot I got at Christmas (within days of getting it…) and then superglued it back on. It’s still useable and not too noticeable but it’s still upsetting

No. 419339

Be that petty bitch and get the (current) cost of said items he breaks and post a bill. If he doesn't pay for what he's broken then either you start "accidentally" breaking his things, or take him to small claims court.

No. 419344

Why is he touching your shit? You need to set some boundaries.

No. 419366

>thinking small claims court doesn't cost too much or isn't too much of a hassle for the few things anon mentioned
>implying courts put a price on mementos

No. 419369

I said be that petty bitch and go through the hassle. Men never learn unless courts get involved.

No. 419378

men don't learn regardless. why the fuck is she rooming with a guy anyway? i wouldn't do that if i was held at gunpoint.

No. 419380

My parents are getting kicked off medicaid and might not even qualify for essential care. They're old and have a whole bunch of health problems, and go to the doctors or a specialist nearly every week. My mother needs insulin. My dad takes various medications for blood pressure and heart issues. I'm so freaked out and worried about how expensive health insurance and medications will be for them, yet my parents (especially my dad) won't stop buying dumb shit. I just got a $2k watch for my birthday that I didn't even ask for. I'm so mad that he even got it for me now because I'd rather they put the money towards health insurance/medicine that they need. We're not rich by any means, my dad just

Why is our health insurance so expensive, America? I was kicked off my parents health insurance for making too much money (understandable) but then I quit that job and started a new one that just pays me minimum wage. Even on minimum wage here in NYC, I don't even qualify for essential care (I make $100 over the limit). I can't even move out on minimum wage, yet I'm expected to pay $400 for the cheapest health insurance plan?

No. 419382

How old are they?

No. 419386

Late 50s

No. 419405

>insulin, blood pressure, heart issues
maybe if they weren't obese, they wouldn't have these problems

No. 419409

i'm starting to get kind of tired of black and white thinking on this site, and in general. like, i don't have a problem with differing opinions, but so many people refuse to acknowledge any outliers and honestly seem to believe anyone/thing that doesn't fit their narrow view isn't real. it's just so tiring.

No. 419421

>being such an uneducated turd brain you don't know that not all diabetes and heart related conditions are caused by being fat

No. 419434

nta but insulin related issues and diabetes are only ever due to weight issues.

No. 419437

what you are saying is usually the case with type 2 diabetes aka the diabetes boomers have. people with type 1 diabetes actually lose so much weight during their diagnosis time. its cause is not certain yet but it's not about being fat.

No. 419438

>you being super triggered

No. 419439

the thing is people with type 1 diabetes don't have separate insulin issues, it's literally not how that works.

No. 419440

>type 2

hahah you're funny.

No. 419443

i know what type 1 diabetes is, i've had it since i was 8. what do you mean by separate insulin issues?

No. 419457

well type 1 is more specifically not being able to produce insulin (and isn't weight related), but with type 2 is usually caused by insulin resistance and you can get comorbid issues that a directly related to whack insulin. but you don't see that with type 1 unless type 2 develops later on.

No. 419462

I hate my nose so much

No. 419484

Why? If it's truly ugly then get the surgery I guess. If it's only subjectively ugly then learn to deal with it because there will be bigger problems in life.

No. 419486

File: 1559946814616.jpeg (287.05 KB, 849x816, B2ABEEF5-58DF-4FCF-992F-FF19CF…)

thank you guys for replying, i'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that i need to leave him but it's….. a lot harder than i thought it would be, he took everything from me and i basically have to restart my life all over, figure out who i am again, deal with this on top of the issues i had before ever meeting him, try to repair relationships that were ruined because of him, etc. i've spent enough time mentally preparing for that and i know i have to take action soon or i'll be stuck with him forever but i'm scared. the house is mine, he moved in a few weeks after we got together and i pay for everything so i could kick him out at any time i'm just afraid of what will happen if i do. i haven't spoken to my old friends since we started dating and i don't know if they'd be willing to help me out

if reaching out to ex friends or my family members doesn't work out, are therapists trained to be able to help you out of relationships like this? or at least can they provide you with resources to? i hate that i'm too scared to do it myself but if he finds out i'm serious about not wanting to be with him anymore, i don't know what's going to happen. is it better to handle it alone or should i end it with any help i can find?

No. 419492

I already have problems bigger than my nose in life, I just wanna look pretty

No. 419519

What are those problems then if you admit it's only subjectively ugly? If it's anything that hinders your beauty "as well" what you can easily fix start with that first (e.g. losing weight, fixing skin problems, nicer hair, nicer clothes). And if you are admitting you are fully okay in other aspects of your looks, perhaps you need to get a nose job. What's stopping you?

No. 419524

Not the first time this happens, I had nightmares where it's like I have two sets of data but I can't connect A with B and keep spinning in circles. Took me 5 minutes to snap out and become aware of my body and return back to reality.

No. 419525

File: 1559956360174.jpg (50.59 KB, 468x546, 693c46c9-52a2-4b99-95ff-82e889…)

Im surrounded by alcoholic family and my younger sister literally needs rehab but my mom refuses to actually consider it because of her denial.My sister tells me she gets sick from withdraws,she has stolen my alcohol, and she takes advantage of my Grandma giving her money for "food". I just sit back and watch people I care about destroy themselves while I drink sometimes too, feeling like a hypocrite.

No. 419541


Anon, more friends than you might realize will forgive whatever you think needs forgiving. And even if they don't, you are not the first woman to do all these hard, necessary things alone. They did it, and you can too. Not saying this because I think it's likely, just b/c I think it's mentally healthy to have a moment where you confront the absolute worst that could happen … and realize you could survive even that. That said, to answer your question, yeah, reach out to people and get help and support if you can.

Definitely there are therapists that help with this. I don't know a ton, but maybe search keywords like "relationships" or "life changes" on the Psychology Today therapist finder?

No. 419569

I'm just a few days short of my 28th bday and I've noticed today my forehead wrinkles for the very first time. It sucks.

No. 419585

>he's almost 70 pounds overweight but i have to weigh 100 pounds or lower

Never will I ever meet your bf but if there was a way to stab people through the internet I think I would slice through his spare tire and piss in the wound.

No. 419590

Sometimes i feel wird been so off puting becase of the trans agenda that is going on, a lof of my freinds are FTM and they seem so happy when i talk to them i really want to suport them and be ther for them but sometimes i feel like the trans agenda is a mask to hate on women, the "shut up terf//kill al terfs//" and more makes me sick, no long ago a dear freind of mine shared a post that says shit like "if a terf is a lesbian i don't care she don't she does not belong to pride" and the coments were… well disgusting, "they are only lesbians becase is political" and you can see ther hate of women, most of my freinds don't agree wint the violent memes but… i feel like they are staring to acept them in a way, and is scary is terrible, i really don't know what to do, i can't talk to them about this becase i'm sacre to lost them i love them a lot is juts… the political state of the internet worrys me a lot

No. 419591

I watched my neighbor shove her boyfriend down the stairs last week. It split his scalp open and the blood is still visible is some spots. He is a trucker and is gone for a few weeks at a time, so I assume that's where he is. Now she is all alone with their children and I keep hearing her screaming at them for extended periods but I can't tell if she is physically hurting them.
I don't think the mother is in America legally and the father is from eastern Europe and can't speak English well. So I am also afraid of calling the cops.

No. 419593

anon if i were you will try to call the police, the kids maybe in danger and if she did what you say about her boyfreind then, sorry but that is terrible and a red flag !

No. 419598

Money and fear of surgery are stopping me.
And maybe the fact that I don't really know how people will react to that since I don't know anybody who's had it

No. 419600

There's nothing weird about it, your instincts are spot on. Transactivism revolves around hating women, ftms just hate themselves. You can talk about it in the gender critical thread if you haven't already.

No. 419602

why haven't you reported your pedo boyfriend? You don't support him right? I hope you contact the police

Because when he starts acting out he will drag you with him

No. 419603

Leave so you don't get a knock from the F B I

No. 419604

anon with schizoaffective disorder here to tell you that you should def seek out assistance if it's causing you so much distress. I have similar delusions about being dead and waiting for my body to catch up and die too/weird other shit I don't want to put out there. If it's affecting the way you live your life or the way you function or causing you a lot of emotional distress, talk to a professional.

you can get help and feel more secure. it is possible

No. 419605

double post but a ton of people with psychotic disorders have some level of insight at different times. you're misinformed

No. 419607

And nose surgery could make you snore, take away your smell, and by extension taste, give you difficulties breathing, and possibly make it worse. Cosmetic surgery is just a terrible choice in general, IMHO, but your body, your choice.

No. 419628

Post proof, original sauce so preferably a url that ends with .edu

No. 419632

File: 1559987529670.jpg (276.96 KB, 1200x1200, kero-chan125.jpg)

I will keep you in my prayers anon. Please be safe and get away from that pos.

No. 419635

File: 1559987974869.jpg (23.66 KB, 1200x675, Wowaka-of-Hitorie-death.jpg)

It's too damn early for me to be crying in the club but YouTube recommended me a tribute the other Hitorie members did for Wowaka and I cried as soon as the guitarist started crying. I was late in finding out he even had a band to begin with because I don't use media very often and I'm just upset, it's been like 2 months…

No. 419647

So I'm still looking for a new apartment, it's been like 6 months now and I'm getting REALLY frustrated to find a new place.

Anyways, yesterday I found something and contacted the owner. Got a few minutes back a message that I could come over for the apartment viewing which I agreed on.
So I just checked the message again to see where exactly the place is aaand they deleted the ad? Like, ugh okey? They said I can come over today, which would have been in two hours from now but yeah it's gone now.

I'm puzzled about this and idk if it's worth to send a message if I can still come over because it REALLY looks like a big nope from them? Super annoyed about this because I have until now such a bad luck with finding SOMETHING or making something work. I almost had one flat, but it was canceled because of reasons that I understood but having my mum on the other side telling me that I'm not looking for a new place because nothing works out is super upsetting and the mood at home is getting really annoying because we just clash too much at this point and I would love to have my own place by now, which wasn't possible for a long time because money.

Idk anymore at this point, I just know that it stressed me out and makes me feel like vomiting the past few days ugh…

No. 419651


Ok, I can still come over for the apartment viewing. Wish me luck!

No. 419666

I don't know what to tell the police when they get here. The father is gone and I have no proof that she is hurting the kids. If I told them about how she nearly killed her boyfriend he could just come back and say " I just tripped". I also don't want to be the one to cause her to be deported.

No. 419667


Anon, I hope you took someone with you and gave your Mom all the details… It sounds a bit fishy of the landlord to delete the listing as soon as you contacted them.

I hope it went fine and I am just paranoid.

No. 419672

NTA but I agree with you. A few months ago in my country a girl was murdered during a visit by a man who fished for victims with an apartment ad.
Of course it's an unlikely occurence but it's best to be careful.

No. 419676

I'm not going to list examples, but I've met people so stupid that I have no way of explaining it besides low IQ.
I don't just mean making mistakes, misunderstanding things or being intellectually dishonest to win an argument, but just complete logical failure. Non-sequitur arguments presented in a very smug way. They're typically so caught up in their lack of understanding, that it doesn't even register to them that they could be wrong.
This sort of thing doesn't happen due to a lack of education or effort, just….pure idiocy. It's almost like they can't learn. It makes my brain burn a little bit that such things are possible.
The people most guilty of this, IMO, are men.

No. 419677

i don't think it sounds super fishy. they may have deleted it because they got too many applicants or people wanting to view it.

No. 419681

File: 1560006186895.jpeg (17.25 KB, 275x262, 1555100755124.jpeg)

The manufacturer's coupon I use for my nuvaring (which brings the cost down 50% so I'm not paying fucking $80/mo for it) is telling me I'm not eligible for it anymore and I'm probably gonna have to go on a different BC and I'm about two steps away from livid. The last birth control I was on (yaz generic) almost put me in a psych hospital and ruined my skin and caused me to start losing my hair for a couple of months when I stopped taking it, I just wish I could get my tubes tied or something and not have to worry (as much) about getting pregnant. I don't want kids and I've never wanted kids, I've known for years I'd much rather adopt if I ever DID want kids, but I'm only 20 and have never had a kid so its basically impossible to get any sort of long term at worst/permanent at best procedure. Fuck

No. 419683

Thats cuz men are so entitled because they've been catered to and fed with a golden spoon their entire life. Fucking retards lmao

No. 419695


I'm the apartment hunting anon and I'm fine, I'm back and it was nothing fishy, just as >>419677 said, there were a lot of people who wanted to visit this place because it's pricey and has a good location. It was also an ad from a girl and she was super nice, so nothing weird. I always check who wrote the ad and how they respond to your messages because one time I wanted to visit a place owned by a guy and he went like "come over if interested ;)" or some shit like that when I asked him for an apartment viewing date but backed off with that kind message like uhh no thanks.

The place I visited btw was okey, but the neighborhood was super dirty and noisy (random drunk guys on the streets sleeping etc), the house lacked care as well. Like when we went to the attic, it had some holes in the ceiling. Idk as much as I loved the apartment, everything else just made me not really welcome. Fucking bummer. I will pass this one.

No. 419705

i see, well i'm worry for her kids, is ther a way to call chaild protection or at last inform on the situation? i know deportation is terrible but if she sent her bf ot the hospital i'm worry to what she may have done to the her oun kids

No. 419707

What about a nexplanon? It's similar: constant very low dose. The cost upfront is stiff but it ends up cheaper in the end because you get it for 3 years. I switched to it because the nuvaring was getting too expansive and I was afraid of the possible failures between rings. I never looked back.

No. 419731

One of my medication was classified as a controlled substance (Gabapentin) a few months ago without my knowledge, and I just moved so I had to switch doctors office. I informed them that my refills ran out so I needed new prescriptions for all of my meds, and I was unexpectedly hit with a blood and urine test. I have to wait for my refills until they come back, and will run out of my birth control & anti-depressants tonight so I’m fucked for a week. I don’t even want to go into work because I know I’ll be an emotional wreck and embarrass myself. I’m almost scared to go cold turkey to be honest.

No. 419736

Yesterday, my mother found out her best friend of nearly 40 years was arrested and charged with several felonies. He's never had a record. It was shocking to the both of us, although less so to me since I was around him more and had a slight sense something was "off." That being said, he did not come off as the type to do what he was charged with, but we later found out he did what he did because he was under the influence of some pretty severe drugs. He's been abusing them since college in order to study, and he'd been escalating since then. He finally snapped and broke into someone's house, stole expensive property, and assaulted someone with intent to harm. Apparently, month before, he broke into his mom and sister's house and stared at the wall, and when they woke up and asked him what he was doing he had threatened to kill them.

This guy has a $200k degree from an elite college and was making $300k at the hight of his career. My family and I couldn't quite understand why he was in so much debt; we found out the money he had been borrowing on several houses to repair and rent out was actually using the funds for his addiction. Apparently he scammed his entire family of thousands of dollars, he even stole his boyfriend's credit cards and put him in $50k of debt by spending recklessly on things they didn't need like expensive vacations and restaurants. He never paid off his student loans either, he still owes most of that, probably more from interest. He never held down a job, he'd always quit what seemed very promising, and move someplace else and start over almost every year at one point. Now we know why.

He's looking at 20 years because he failed to appear for his first trial, before committing another crime a week later.
My mother had been crying to see him just a few months before because they rarely got to see each other due to my father being a possessive sociopath.
Now we found out her best friend is an abusive sociopath too.

I really feel for my mother, and everyone involved right now. What a fucking mess.

No. 419745

I just checked my air conditioning and my boyfriend accidentally put it on fan without the cool on all day. I've been trying to sleep but couldn't because I was roasting from the humidity. I asked him to turn the air on and he fucked it up. It's been hours, I was wondering why I was sweating so much. God damn it! I live in the Deep South and work the night shift I need my air conditioning I feel like killing someone. First world problems, I know.

No. 419762

Two things:
One, I recently learned my father is living in a town just an hour outside of my own. I haven't seen him in over 10 years and the last thing he ever said to my Mom is "next time I see you, I WILL kill you". It sounds ridiculous, I know, but hear me out.
He always had violent tendencies toward her, like I can vividly recall 3 or 4 different instances as a child cowering in fear while I hear the sound of his fists hitting her and her screaming/crying. He believes my Mom is to blame for his shit life even though it was him who decided to turn to drugs and alcohol. He thinks she turned me against him which is clearly not the truth - his own actions did that. He is literally crazy. Basically, it's not totally out of character for the psycho to actually follow up on something like that if he finds out she lives so close. He hasn't tried to contact either me, her, or any of our family in these past many years so maybe my fear is irrational, but it's still lowkey fucking me up. My Mom doesn't deserve to live in fear like this and I just want to protect her.

Two, I wish there were more online resources for free talk therapy just so I could get more educated feedback on what I may be dealing with. We don't have a lot of options for mental illness help in my small city and the last time I managed to see a professional here the experience wasn't good, so I stopped going to her and got on the waiting list for another one. I just feel really lacking in terms of understanding myself, like I really just want to fix myself but I don't know where to start. I feel like actually getting a diagnosis would really help me but unfortunately the waiting list for professionals here can take upwards of a year.
Speaking of that, it still peeves me that my last therapist didn't even hint at a diagnosis nor did she even give me a starting point. I guess that's what I get for having to use the free options here. I wonder if finding a pay-per-session therapist would be better. I feel lost and it's eating me up inside.

No. 419792

GOD DAMN PERIOD PAIN!!! I used to be one of the lucky ones that literally never had cramps of any sort, but the past couple months I've been suddenly hit with the most excruciating pain ever. I seriously thought I had some awful disease at first, before I realised that my period was always just around the corner. My lovely anons who have had to suffer through this pain regularly since you started, my love and sympathy go out to you eternally.

sincerely, anon on painkillers hugging a hot water bottle

No. 419795

Apparently periods can both settle into a more regular pattern as you age out of your 20s AND get heavier and more painful or exhausting with time. So we've got that suifuel to look forward to as we rapidly approavh 30, cheers gr8 thanks, Nature

No. 419808

My BFs family is Chinese and they always just speak in Chinese around me despite speaking English well. We went out for dinner and they spoke in Chinese the entire time. It's fine, I guess, I'm learning mandarin but I wish they would try to speak in English a bit more so I can get to know them. I just felt so awkward sitting there and drinking as much tea as possible to distract from the fact that I have no idea what they are talking about. His family is so important to him, I just want to talk to them properly and get to know them as people.

No. 419817

People say to go out and enjoy our youth but it's not like I didn't want to do all that fun young people stuff the issue is no one wanted to include me

No. 419821

Same. People who do say this shit have no idea what's like to be actively excluded from others. It's not a CHOICE.

No. 419826

I have someone’s cat in my bathroom and I hope he gets claimed once his photo gets around. It seems like a sweet cat but I realized he’ll be stuck in my house for a few days if no one responds…

No. 419827


Consider going to a gyno, anon? Not because OMG IT MIGHT BE CANCER, more b/c things like fibroids, cysts, and endometriosis are really common and change as you age. I went through something similar and it's nbd, I have a different bc regimen to control it, but you don't have to live w/ the pain necessarily!

No. 419844

Aw that sucks, anon. Are you learning Mandarin because of your boyfriend? If so, that's really sweet, and also metal as fuck because it's a super intimidating language to learn (at least to me lol). Maybe you could ask his family if they wouldn't mind letting you practice your Chinese with them, and make their conversations slower and simpler so it would be easier for you to understand and chime in. And if you really don't understand what's going on, I guess they would have no choice but bail you out in English.
Or maybe engage in something that relies less on conversation? Dinners are awkward because if you're not part of the conversation there's not much else to do. Like ask his mom if she can teach you any traditional Chinese recipes, if she's open to it it could be a nice way to bond and learn to make some yummy food, win-win. I don't know much about the specifics of Chinese culture but in my very broad experience they tend to be pretty proud of their identity, and in general immigrants can be a little sensitive about protecting their heritage and traditions so perhaps showing a genuine interest in learning about and embracing their culture could warm them up to you and get them to talk to you more instead of seeing you as an outsider.

No. 419848

Yeah I've been googling different pills all day and hopefully can find one that doesn't end up fucking me over. Also it looks like nexplanon doesn't really allow for period regulation which is something I need for my PCOS (plus the other medication I'm on for PCOS was giving me multiple periods/breakthrough bleeds a month before I got back on BC). Nuvaring gives me almost no side effects and the ones I do get are so minor, it just sucks that its so expensive compared to other BCs.

No. 419866

File: 1560057091023.jpg (83.15 KB, 355x369, 1534790701072.jpg)

I met a boy online and I am obsessed with him.
In all my life of real life relationships, I have never found I guy that I like so much. The problem is he lives in Portugal while I live in Canada so there is a huge difference in anything and I almost have no hope in it. I am falling for him hard like I have never in my entire life and it is scaring me. I don't know why he feels so special but it almost feels like a soulmate. Not only does the fact that he lives so far hurt me, but the fact that he dated so many e-girls before. I just wonder if I'm another one of the e-girls he is messing around with and it makes me very depressed. I don't know if I have it in me to stop pursuing him. Fuck. I wish I never met him.

No. 419868

File: 1560059156121.jpg (110.89 KB, 500x500, hmmm.jpg)

So this is probably going to sound retarded but I feel like I can't talk about it with anyone in my life. I came out as a lesbian a few years ago, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm just a female exclusive bisexual? I've always felt kind of confused about my sexuality. I didn't really feel like calling myself a bisexual made sense, but then I also feel like I'm lying if I say lesbian/doing a disservice to 'real' lesbians. I have no real desire for a romantic or sexual relationship with men, nor have I ever engaged in sexual acts with a man. (Some chaste kissing as a young girl is about all) The one time I was aware I accidentally caused a dude to get a boner (when we were alone) I was filled with intense revulsion and immediately made an excuse to leave.

But I've had crushes on fictional male characters, and have masturbated to heterosexual & homosexual as well as lesbian smut & pornography. I never imagine myself in the scenarios when there's males in involved, I just masturbate to the sex acts. Fantasizing on my own I always imagine being with another woman. I feel like it makes it wrong of me to identify as a lesbian, but I don't really feel like bisexual is right eith