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No. 421511
>>421233You have no right to diagnose me. You can't diagnose people over the internet. You sound like my sister. Diagnosing me. You probably project like she does.
Don't feel sorry for her. She brought all this upon herself. She aggravates people and pushes their buttons to the breaking point then cries when they finally lash out at her. She never learns or takes responsibility for herself. She brings out the worst in people then plays the "tee hee I'm so innocent" or "I don't know what you're talking about" card.
Once, she plugged a fan in and it caught on fire. She claimed she "never had a problem with it in months" and that "it suddenly had problems and I don't know why." Bitch you know why. Our parents could have been hurt and it would have been your fault. Instead of taking responsibility for property damage, she asks the fire department to investigate further because she thinks isn't sure it's her fault. Always very obtrusive to her parents.
I'm the favorite because I don't do half the trifling shit she does. Whatever money I loan to my parents, it gets paid back. Hers doesn't because she makes more than me and she causes more emotional distress. Then she complains about it even though it's basically chump change to her.
My father nicely asked her for money for the disaster. She was hesitant and told him that he still owed her $6,000. She asked him for his bank statement and was even more reluctant to help because she saw evidence of buying cigarettes and gambling. Because of her holier-than-thou beliefs, she refuses to help our family in our dire time of need. Just because we have a disaster it means our father can go without lotto tickets and cigarettes? Who died and made her boss? We pointed out that it was none of her business what we do with our money. She shifts the blame on us and said "Well if you ask me for my money, it will be my business." The sheer gall of this bitch. Who changed her diapers? Who put a roof over her head? My dad even bought her a bed and clothing. All that money spent on her growing up and for what?
>>421277Sexist ass board. No one can take this place seriously. Before criticizing me, look in a mirror!
No. 421516
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>>421511>Moid BTFO >reeee sexismDie mad about it, psycho
No. 421518
>>421516Look in a mirror.
What about my sister? She is trying to squeeze blood from a stone. $6,000 is nothing to her. She treats the poor this way. She doesn't even need that money! She wants us to abide by the made-up rules she makes on the spot and insists that debts should be repaid.
Her coworkers hate her and said she doesn't need that money. They are single moms with kids. They pointed this out to her. Why should she make that much money and not they? Her insensitive response was "Why don't they show up for work when scheduled? Why don't they just control their attitudes at work?" Bitch you're the one with the attitude. Even her friends hate her. Her family hates her. We all hate her.
No. 421558
>>421511> Just because we have a disaster it means our father can go without lotto tickets and cigarettes?yes. that's exactly what an emergency situation is, anon, you can't go spending money on lotto tickets when you've lost everything.
i stan this anon's sister, you're a retard anon.
No. 421566
>>421561>this guy almost twice my age (I’m 18)36 (or at least 30) year old dating an eighteen year old? Sounds sketchy
> I think I have feels for him now but i think he just wants to smashHe sounds like an older man taking advantage of you annon.
No. 421568
>>421561
>Twice your age, streaming anime, says you can just go to sleep but then is sexual with you anyway when your drunk You’re heading toward another
abusive relationship
No. 421643
>>421640I didn't spend a dime on uni for a career that didn't pan out. That's not why I'm broke. The condescending comment doesn't stick. $90 is objectively ridiculous for hanging blinds, though. That's why this is the vent thread. Obviously they charge what they can because people will pay. You sound like the kind of person that thinks every little thing you say is super revelatory as long as it's smug.
>>421639Yep, and the total cost of their schooling is peanuts. Meanwhile they're mocked for being dropouts, etc. Serves people right for shitting on blue collar types that often didn't have the means to go to university, tbh.
No. 421687
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I'm convinced some people only get mad about rudeness because they're too worried about looking bad publicly to say whatever they want in response. That, or they want free reign for them or their friends to shit on you, and get buttblasted if you don't give it to them.
I got banned from some place for "being abrasive" after someone said something edgy and another person attempted to antagonize me for (harshly) telling them it wasn't cute or cool. Thing is, I'm 99% sure the mod or admin was having a little bitch fest of their own about it with a friend or in a private chat, while passive aggressively spamming and posting cold, weak takes at me in the main one and letting others at me. They probably got annoyed that I wasn't shrinking back, even though they and others continually escalated things to begin with.
I can't really imagine living like that on the internet. It's better to just call someone a dumb bitch to their face instead of trying to dance around everything.
I don't seek out conflict, especially considering that was the only argument I ever had in that group, but if someone starts something with me, I see no reason not to go in on them. If you're not ready for a scorching reply when you attempt to "dunk" on someone, why try it at all? Just be quiet and let it die.
I almost wonder if this is how Azealia Banks feels whenever she gets banned from Twitter, though she typically starts all her beefs herself.
No. 421689
>>421431btw thanks anon, you were right of course nothing happened and i panicked for no reason lol
i can just pay it off
No. 421693
>>421692Oh please. They're half a mile away charging these crazy-ass prices.
>>421668I agree, but I can't reasonably do that for everything. I had lighting replaced, but my point was that it's insane for literally hanging blinds to be so much (which they apparently are, as one handyman relayed to me). I don't feel quite comfortable handling electric, that's a bit too far, and if I hurt myself or damage my property that's a larger chunk of change than just getting it done with them.
No. 421705
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I wish I could ride my boyfriend, but he just has been so tired lately that he just crashes as soon as he lies on the bed.
Been like that for almost a month now.
Guess I'll grab my wand again, but I legit prefer penetration.
Pic not related.
No. 421716
>>421518>>421519It's her hard earned money. If she works more than you or her coworkers, shows up in time, and doesn't want to spend her money on your father's cigs and lotto tickets, she has every right to do so. Honestly she should cut contact with you leeches, she will be way better on her own.
We all support her here so gtfo.
No. 421717
I have had such a shit time with guys since I left my ex. I left him because I was tired of getting my feelings hurt by his coldness and immaturity mostly. I left so I could be happy and now I'm more miserable.
My depression (yes, I'm officially diagnosed) has reached a point that I doubt I can be fixed. I have been lied to, played, treated with no consideration like a piece of trash, and even sexually assaulted.
Tomorrow is my first day back in therapy after about two years. I'm not really looking forward to it, but I'm going anyways to try. Its my last hope.
I probably shouldn't date, but I have been seeing someone casually for about a month. We don't sleep together which is good I guess. I very much like him. In the back of my mind I feel like he's going to fuck me over somehow like everyone else though. I don't trust myself and my judgements anymore. I don't trust much of anyone. I feel that everything I do is wrong.
If I take another blow to my little heart, I don't think I'll be able to take it this time.
I have it kind of planned out, but it feels so alien from me. The idea feels distant from me, like it isn't mine which I see as more dangerous. Tomorrow I will talk about it with the therapist.
Life fucking sucks. I hate my feelings. I always wear my heart on my sleeve and it is going to literally kill me.
I used to physically hit myself. Also, I used to see how far I was willing to go to stab myself with a knife. Now I cut. I've been to emergency for it once. It is surreal how easy and painless cutting that deep is.
I'm 26 and have a fortunate life, but inside I'm so sad and alone that I can't fully grasp the wonderful things and people around me.
I hope I find power.
No. 421724
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>Bf has heart issues and only gets worse until he can get a transplant
>Because of this he can't get fully hard during sex and gets winded and soft quickly
I know the best thing to do would be to get a toy but maaaaan sometimes I just really want him. I feel like a jerk for being so horny all the time and it makes him feel guilty for not being able to help.
No. 421730
>>421728Not that anon but I've seen a lot of robots say that declining birth rates are due to women being such whores, getting so many abortions and taking so much BC that they make themselves infertile.
Blaming women for infertility has also been a thing since the dawn of time, honestly.
No. 421744
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>>421511> he still owed her $6,000> buying cigarettes and gambling> lotto tickets and cigarettes> none of her business what we do with our moneyhahaha stay mad poorfags, why should she stay forever chained to your stupid asses.
No. 421753
>>421747You'd think in 2019 when men are screeching that women are already equal and feminism is unnecessary, things wouldn't be made almost solely for male use/consumption.
This isn't even just a thing with exercise equipment is the sad thing. For example, women literally die more in car crashes because cars (and crash dummies) are made for average male bodies by default.
No. 421757
>>421753I am pretty certain the car thing has nothing to do with test dummy heights. Airbags are enormous and designed so that just about any noggin around can hit them. I would personally guess that more women die in car crashes because female bodies are smaller, less built, and less resilient against physical trauma.
There is no conspiracy to prevent women from pumping iron. It's just more of a male interest, so of course they would set the machines to male height, right? Why would they set it to 5'3 if everyone who uses the machine is 6'?
No. 421761
>>421757https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/feb/23/truth-world-built-for-men-car-crashesThe gender data gap is a very real issue, and it does have to do with dummy heights in the case of cars.
>Why would they set it to 5'3 if everyone who uses the machine is 6'?Because evidently, not everyone who wants to use it is 6'0. In the first place, blocking an entire gender from using certain objects that would logically be unisex isn't any less of a problem just because you're doing it under the mistaken idea that it's more profitable. Not sure why this is hard to accept.
No. 421764
>>421762Did you read the article itself, or are you just trying to dodge its content? Because it links to multiple sources to back up the information presented therein.
Alternatively, do you have any sources to back up your claim that the entire gender data gap is false and on the same level as women being told to talc their vaginas?
>Today they tell you that cars are made to kill women because that happens to be what's profitable right now.What it's saying is that because cars are made exclusively for one part of the population, others are often inadvertently made to suffer. It's a massive oversight, and this whole thing of "Male is the default, so why bother taking women into account for our product" stretches even into the medical field, psychology (women being diagnosed with autism much later/less frequently because our symptoms manifest differently and male symptoms are focused on the most), etc.
No. 421765
>>421761Even from a engineering perspective it's much cheaper and easier to make ones machine for 5'3" women, and a second for 6'4" than one that works equally well for both of them - and it's only Planet Fitness that can make a functional business out machines that are never used.
Again though this is largely a moot issue as most machines are gimmicks anyway.
No. 421768
>>421764The article links sources for claims like "women die more in car crashes than men." I don't need a scare journal to tell me that.
And… there is really no way to fix that, either. No matter how safe you make cars, women will always die more than men, because women do not handle physical trauma as well as men. The only way to make both sexes die equal amounts in car crashes would be to make it so NOBODY dies in car crashes (and we're getting there, btw - self driving cars ftw!)
I am really saying that articles like that are trying to prey on your fear and mistrust of others. This is profits 101 in journalism.
No. 421769
>>421768What you're missing is
why. And that "why" is pretty well-documented. It's not a scare journal, it's statistical information and studies explaining the issue at hand and what links to it. Again, the article doesn't even just go into cars, but multiple examples of this problem and how it negatively impacts society and functionality. Don't be afraid, be informed.
"It's going to happen anyway!" holds as much weight as saying "Well, why make anything safer? Everybody dies eventually, and people will still make mistakes and have accidents". There's just no defense for it.
I don't fear or mistrust others because of this information, I just see room for improvement in several fields and disappointment that we haven't overcome these things in what's meant to be a "progressive" era.
No. 421773
>>421772This is purely my personal experience but I've found the complete opposite after working in the ER
I've seen women who pretty much almost lost their limbs before and acted like nothing happen, breaking bones and not even crying or reacting but men will act like they're dying over the common cold
I think it has to do with the whole "girl who cried pain", women are so use to not having their pain taken seriously they just let themselves be hurt and allow everything to get worse out of fear of being accused of faking pain for attention or being dramatic
No. 421774
>>421746I can use anything I want. How about you stop being so complacent to the MAN'S world you live in. I've never read anyone so swiftly defend the obvious history of men designing things for themselves.
Women shouldn't have what they have, we should make do? Yikes.
No. 421775
>>421773
>I think it has to do with the whole "girl who cried pain", women are so use to not having their pain taken seriously they just let themselves be hurt and allow everything to get worse out of fear of being accused of faking pain for attention or being dramaticIt is strange to see things viewed through such a lens. I doubt women are refusing to react to an amputation because they don't want to be embarrassed.
Actually in general I can't say I know what you mean by this point. You say pain is not taken seriously in women, but isn't the opposite true? Men have an inbuilt instinct to protect women and I've only ever observed them being especially sensitive to women who are in pain (bordering on coddling)
No. 421776
>>421761> blocking an entire gender from using certain objects They aren't blocking anyone from anything. They are a fitness joint, they don't conduct social engineering. I swear, some of you think that every single entity (person or company) somehow owes the world and you special consideration about the social consequences of every single little thing they are doing.
A fitness joint will buy machines that satisfy most needs for most of their customers, while not being too expensive. Go join a women only gym, maybe they will have what you want.
No. 421778
>>421774How about you?
If there's a thing to design, design it.
If there's a gap to exploit, exploit it.
I've no respect for adults that can identify a problem but not also fix it themselves.
Make do, or make better. Just don't make others conform to your preferences by whining.
No. 421782
>>421772>I mean, how do I source that?You know medical journals are a thing right?
>I think we both know it's trueDon't tell me how I think.
Women being weaker than men does not mean they handle physical trauma worse than men as there are multiple factors regarding both:
1) the impact of trauma
2) the recovery from trauma
Now I'm not saying women are better at handling trauma, nor that they are equal, not that they are worse, because I have zero idea.
I'm not making baseless assumptions out of thin air like you are, because "you just know how it is UwU"
No. 421784
>>421782>Don't tell me how I think. If I did so in an Internet article you probably wouldn't have gotten mad!
Okay, agree to disagree, I gotta eat.
No. 421786
>>421778Not everybody's dream is to become an exercise equipment designer/manufacturer or fitness joint owner you know, some people just want to be able to work-out using equipment that fit their normal female size.
>>421784>If I did so in an Internet article you probably wouldn't have gotten mad!Still telling me how I think. An internet article written by some rando without sources and a scientific journal aren't the same, ffs.
No. 421787
>>421776>taking a single line in a post, isolating it from the full context and challenging it as if everything else doesn't existJust dishonest and pathetic.
The fact remains: The gender data gap is a real problem. It's an inconvenience at best (in the case of exercise machines), and a detriment to women's lives at worst (in the case of cars, construction worker's material, police vests, etc). Whether or not you choose to look at data, and whatever painful excuses you come up with, this is reality, and it's backward.
Enough trying to derail any discussion of these things, you're not going to shut us up.
No. 421789
>>421775Again this is what I've observed
I've seen women with broken bones before who didn't even know their bones were broken until it became dislocated, huge bruises and cysts caused by impact and these women acted like it's no big deal, bleeding from crevices of their body and again acting like it's NBD, don't even get me started on parents who neglect their female children and teenage daughters by claiming their warning signs are all for attention/her being dramatic basically until their daughter is dead or dying, there's actually journals on it and I suggest you read up on things like "the girl who cried pain" there's definitely a stigma against women who are in pain, it also explains why women are more likely to die unless being treated by another woman
https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=383803https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/01/31/americans-take-pain-girls-less-seriously-than-that-boys-new-study-finds/ No. 421790
>>421786>Not everybody's dream is to become an exercise equipment designer/manufacturer or fitness joint owner you know, some people just want to be able to work-out using equipment that fit their normal female size.They said that because they don't care. They just want women to stop talking about issues that affect us in the world, because it
triggers them to think that we exist, the universe can't realistically revolve around men's interests and that society isn't as equal as they delude themselves into thinking.
The first tactic is to deny everything. When that doesn't work (especially when science contradicts their denial), they accuse us of making it all up and having mass hysteria, or they say all peer-reviewed data is somehow fake and wrong to push an agenda, often with absolutely no reliable data of their own to back up those claims. When that fails, the last thing is "Why don't YOU make it yourself, then?!". If they're not even trying to pretend they're arguing in good faith anymore, they'll finally resort to "Well, then women just shouldn't drive, exercise, work, go to the hospital, get injured or get pregnant" and show who they really are.
It's so transparent, and I'm sick of it.
No. 421797
>>421796Why do you only care about men committing suicide when you're trying to make women stop talking about literally anything? To use your own argument, how about you? Why don't you do something about it and try to help men?
If you've no respect for adults that can identify a problem but not also fix it themselves, then you must have the least respect of all for yourself.
And this was never only about exercise machines, but I know you're dedicated to lying to yourself and others.
No. 421830
>>421796lmao haven't seen an attempt to minimize women's issues this desperate before.
>anon vents literally about exercise machines being tailored for men>b-but men kill themselves at 400000000% higher rates!! stfu you complaining bitch!I wish all of them killed themselves at this point, sounds dreamy
No. 421831
>>421787You are the one moving the goalposts. First it was bitching about fitness machines, now suddenly it's the whole gender data gap problem like you were talking about that the whole time and I was latching on one thing.
You are moving the goal posts and you are one of those people who make ever thing into "I'm being oppressed".
No. 421838
>>421831Nah, you showed all your cards when you started crying about men's suicide.
No point trying to scramble for a response now, you're a joke.
No. 421903
I intend to stop posting about her after this, I just don't want to adopt a moniker like 'momchan' because all I ever vent about is my narcissist mom. I just have no one that cares–last night proved it–and the only person that cares about my emotions (or at least pretends to) is my stepdad. The person my mom constantly tries to assassinate in front of me and to others because of how he hurt her.
Sorry if this is all over the place.
My stepdad cheated on my mom, confessed it to me first, but I later told her out of pity (but also because before that she theorized me and stepdad were consorting against her because he'd comfort me in the past whenever she'd fight me and I knew keeping that secret would be affirmation to her victimhood). She kicked him out of their house, but he's still paying the bills.
If the story sounds familiar, it's because I already vented about this part.
I've never had a good relationship with my mom due to her narcissism. Despite my initial sympathy, I realize that she was not a perfect victim. I made myself available to listen at first, but all she ever does is shit talk about my stepdad. Despite how wrong my stepdad is for cheating, I still care. This is a man who loved me unconditionally when my biological father mistreated and abandoned me when I was little. Not everything she is saying is true, and she only says some things because of the rejection she feels. Truth be told he treats me more respectfully than her–as in, he actually listens to me and talks to me like a human being. If he didn't call me twice a week nobody would care about my feelings right now. Only two people in my entire family have said shit to me since this happened. So hearing what she says hurts. I took her to a marital therapist last week, and the therapist even told her to stop putting me in the middle of her divorce. The first thing she did as I drove her home? Ranted to me about stepdad again.
Even a month now after it happened she demonizes me for wanting to talk about my feelings for once. She reverses victim and acts like I'm selfish for wanting to talk about my feelings, or even how this third divorce of hers affects me. It's worse yet if I call out her shitty behavior towards me, and how I won't accept "emotional woman" as an excuse for how she treats me. She gets hostile and vile towards me.
I'm called selfish for trying to talk to her and wanting her to listen (not criticize me under the guise of 'advice' like usual), and she's blatantly said she can't and will not listen to me because her burdens are soooo much greater than mine.
She lambasts me and tries to guilt trip me for not caring enough bout her feelings, however. She argues in a circle no matter how many times I try to reason and redirect her hysteria back to the original point. I opened up my vulnerabilities and insecurities to her the other night (I had asked for a hug), and all that did was give her a roadmap to hurt me and throw them in my face when she belittled me with them the next day.
She never apologizes.
Her attitude is all because she expects me to be at her beck and call now because she's divorcing. Fine, I've tried to do nice things for her. It's never enough though. And when I want reciprocation she doesn't give a fuck. It's all about her, as if she's the only person hurting. And if I try to direct the narrative about anything else she accuses me of being selfish and self-centered again.
It's sick. I can't trust her. Our relationship has never been improved no matter how much blame I've taken nor how much I've tried to appease her.
She takes out her hurt feelings on me and projects all of her bullshit onto me.
I work 7am-5pm most days. She's retired. She stays up late and has a fucked sleep schedule.
She accused me of sleeping until noon. How?
I try to go out with my friends and have fun so I'm not stuck at the house all day when I'm not working. She doesn't leave the house except for food and cigarettes. She says I'm depressed and I don't do anything with myself. How??
I know how. Projection. Because all she's done is sleep all day and feel sorry for herself.
Notice how these are backhanded to imply I'm lazy and she's not been. Trolling irl.
She originally wanted me to help her refinance the house mortgage so she could keep it. At first she used flowery language like the house was ours and it was my house too now. Also This house will be yours when I'm gone. Yet the second she's upset by something I said or did, she reverts and says THIS IS MY GODDAMN HOUSE and I'M GONNA SELL THE FUCKER!
The latter being the truths. When the cards are on the table it's still all about her and I'm just a piece of dog shit.
-
Last night was awful. I mean she'd been arguing with me a lot lately over insane and petty things. Yesterday she got into another nonsensical argument with me because I took a tone to something rude she did to me. It developed into her being hysterical because she didn't like my tone.
Remember: She's allowed to be an uncontrollably emotional woman; I can't even have a hint of annoyance in my voice without getting policed.
But the point is, because of the fight she had with me the day before, she had been giving me the silent treatment.
When I got home from work today, I went straight to my room. I expected her to ignore me and give me death glares like she had been doing. So she did when I did see her.
I could hear my mom calling people on her cell phone from outside (she talks really loudly and it echoes into my windows). She actually had the audacity to call my stepdad's own sister and try to get her to choose her side. It sounds juvenile, because it is. Yet she's an incredibly effective manipulator. She was ranting to my aunt about me as well and telling more lies about me to make me sound depressed and useless. It hurt a lot. If I were depressed for any reason right now, it's because of my mom being horrible to me.
And one thing my family hasn't done: Ask me if I'm okay.
They all just hear secondhand from her and assume she's winning the suffering Olympics. Nobody else has ever suffered so much than my mom has, even though she's partly to blame for choosing the men she has and neglecting her relationships in the way she's done.
What did I do?
Next thing I knew I got a phone call from my stepdad. Mom was texting him. They'd been trying to get together tomorrow to talk about the divorce.
Stepdad was meeting her; due more to financial questions. My mom wanted to meet to ask if they wanted to get back together (which is ironic considering how gun-ho she was about kicking him out and divorcing him). Stepdad had seen the therapist, and changed his mind and didn't want to meet with her. Mom texted him stipulations of getting back together such as the ability to search his phone whenever and to take her with him on his business trips.
And you know what? My stepdad is right. She should've went steady as planned on the divorce thing because if she can't trust her partner that much then the relationship is already fucked beyond repair regardless.
I know what it's like to be her prisoner and it's not healthy.
I guess he had texted her about his golf clubs, and she got extremely pissed off that he was trying to text her about "fun" stuff. So she started asking pointed questions about their relationship status, instead of waiting until the next day to talk like she had said, and my stepdad finally said fuck it.
Anyway, his "rejection" (I put that in quotes because in reality he just agreed to go along with what she originally said she was gonna do) absolutely destroyed her.
My mom became unhinged. I had been talking to dad on the phone when he interrupted me to say mom was trying to call him. Once again, she reamed his ass out and he made his final choice. I could hear it in my room.
When she was done I exited my room expecting her to speak and unload on me as she's done so many times before. Instead she gave me a stink face and ignored me until I asked her about that conversation she just had as well as the previous one. I told her how I had heard the things she said about me and how it hurt my feelings.
She accused me of eavesdropping.
Reversed victim, and then her woe is her went through the roof. She told me maybe it was too toxic, that she couldn't 'help' me, and that I should consider leaving. She went on and on about her nightmare situation and implied I was too stupid to have noticed.
Then she accused me of "needling" and "torturing" her because I asked her questions on why she was treating me like that. I didn't back down, I wanted answers.
It made her extremely angry because I wasn't giving her control. She got so furious that she started to screech through her anger until she started to wail. I didn't respond to that energy and kept calm, looking at her, and it just made her more incensed that I wasn't being persuaded by this behavior like usual. She probably thought I was being patronizing, but I couldn't help but find her so unreasonable and ridiculous. It kept escalating, and escalating, and escalating. She was going insane before my eyes.
She screamed at me to get the fuck out of her sight.
So I did, I told her I'd go back into my room now.
As I went back into my room she got on the phone with my aunt while she wailed and hollered. My aunt came over, and they pow wowed about my dad's rejection and what an asshole he was. It surprised me because the reason why she was so upset was because of me, and not what my dad had said. I guess mom just wanted someone to tell her how she was so right about how she was handling stuff. I wasn't going to be that person because I know who she is.
I didn't want to sit in my room the entire night so I went out to the dining room table with my phone. I wanted someone to notice and talk to me. They kept up their shit talk, and my mom kept narrating what a victim she'd been. Showing off texts, but not mentioning the things she had said on call or irl that would've put the texts into context.
My aunt didn't acknowledge me at all.
I was like a ghost.
What was disturbing is that as they talked my mom went from a crying mess to be oddly…confident? Almost smug. The shit talking wasn't stopping, and it's not like I wouldn't have heard this from my room either.
Within 30 minutes my mom was back to normal. In fact so normal she was back to bitching about her phone messing up and so they were focusing on that. Also researching stores open to go get cigarettes.
My aunt became her flying monkey, which isn't really her fault considering she only knew my mom's narrative.
When it got so unbearable I interjected, because up until that point they treated me like I wasn't in the room. When I said something they both looked at me like Who the fuck are you?
I wasn't getting anywhere, I tried to bring up how I was hurting again but this night–as all the others–were to be about my mom.
They didn't pity me, and I didn't pity her.
I told her to stop putting on a show for my aunt.
She reached to touch me, but I backed away. She was aggressive. Who was she to lay hands on me when earlier she'd told me to fuck off?
Actually, I realized my aunt being there was an advantage because it meant a lull in the abuse. My mom was going to pretend to take the higher road around my aunt for her image's sake. After all, she had a story to spin about how her daughter has never given a shit.
I went to my room to start packing my things after reflecting on my mom's tirade earlier before my aunt came that I should "leave."
As I was packing, my aunt came into my room.
>Your mom loves you! Your mom needs you!
I needed my mom. Where was she for me?
I've been here for her for over a month, when could it be my turn?
If she loves me, then why can't she listen to me and why is she allowed to say horrible things about me? If she loves me then why can't I trust her with my emotions without fear that she'll use them against me later?
No, she doesn't love me. All of these issues were present before my dad cheated and amplified times ten now that she feels victimized.
In the background I could hear mom: See what I deal with? This is how I'm treated!
My mom was getting her supply of duping delight. See aunty, look at what a self-centered daughter she has for not sticking around to endure more emotional incest, neglect, and verbal abuse.
My aunt called my stepdad from her phone. They thought it was his fault I was leaving and they wanted to use him to guilt me into not leaving. I knew they'd blame him, and not her. I told my dad what I was doing and that he shouldn't blame himself. I hung up.
I retrieved my birth certificate and vaccination papers.
They asked me if I had a plan. I said no.
They scoffed at me, but eventually both of them left me alone as I packed to go back to complaining about mom's phone and their cigarettes.
It was very early in the morning and I realized I couldn't pack it all in one night. I locked my door so that when my aunt left my mom couldn't come barging in and confronting me as I suspected she'd do. One thing I love about the house compared to my childhood house? I have a door that locks.
I was right. When my aunt left my mom knocked on my door and turned the knob wanting to "talk." I told her I wasn't opening it and she could talk to me through the door.
But it's not comfortable for me and I'm tired! she barked. Well, it was comfortable for me. Although I don't know how talking through a door makes someone "tired." What's the matter mom, can't manipulate when there's a physical barrier?
She attempted to talk me down from leaving but I told her it was my choice. She asked me if I'd tell her where I'm going and I said no, I would not be telling her.
Well at least stay until you have a plan!
I could agree on that but my stuff is remaining packed to take to my storage unit.
She can't fool me. She'll never change. She'll act normal for a bit to lure me back into complacency and abuse me once I've let my guard down. The cycle will constantly repeat and continue until I go no contact, and I'm sure she'll poison the rest of the family and use the divorce to paint how I was corrupted into despising her by my dad. Not that this was a long time coming.
She's still peeved I haven't unlocked my door and this morning she wanted to talk to me about her phone. She insisted I needed to let her in to talk about whatever is going on with her phone. I told her no. She left, because the her goal is to get to me.
I won't ever forget what she's done. I won't ever trust her again.
No. 421904
>>421513Oh anon, I wish I could give you a hug right now.
I mean it in the nicest way possible, but maybe try going to the gym! You might make gym buddies the exercise might be good for your depression, and if you really want, it'll help you lose weight if you're so distressed about the weight gain.
If not the gym, why not school clubs? I recommended it to another anon on the stupid questions thread. I met some of my best friends through joining a school club- you might be hesitant to go alone, but people are usually really nice to new people because they always want more people to keep the club alive!
My last suggestion would probably be a dog park. Maybe make some friends for yourself and your dog! Go outside and enjoy it! Of course, this depends on your dog (mine is a little demon so we don't take her to the dog park lol).
I really hope you go to that concert anon. I know going alone to concerts sucks, I went alone to see my favorite group because none of my friends like them, but I still had an amazing time because when they started playing, all that mattered was that I was there watching them. When they came back, none of my friends wanted to go with me again, but fuck it! That night is about me enjoying my favorite group! What's the worst that can happen if you go alone anon (besides some possible heat stroke)? Maybe you'll make a new friend who also likes that band, but if not, you'll still have seen your favorite band!
Best of luck anon, and happy birthday!
No. 422129
I am simply at loss as to why my coach of over 5 years has disliked me Being nice clearly has no effect and neither does the passage of time it effects me in a pratical sense as she is my " coach" who would prefer to ignore me or let me carry on using a bad tecnquie or posture so she can have minimum interaction. I feel like it is going to build up to the point, where I am gonna say ' Bitch what IS your problem' ( Paraphrasing) I am involved in an unusual sport, been going there at least once a week for the past FIVE years. She is one of the main coaches,
After each session a group Between 6-10 of us usually meet in a pub afterwards. I have been FB friended and included by all the members, we all get on fine. But this coach is the ONLY person that has declined by FB request after I tried adding her about a year since we met. Then again about a year ago, so fine, she declined my request twice , not ignored declined.
I would always chat and be nice to her, without getting anything back, I simply found her to much hard work to have a conversation with, there was NO friendship chemistry, but I have always been polite. Her attitude annoys me as I am paying her 20 per her to be ignored, other coaches have come over to correct things she should have taught me. She barelys utters a word to me. it is an expensive niche sport, the other coaches and the other people are friendly.
When her mum was ill, I asked her how her mum was, when my mum was seriously ill she never asked me once. About 2 years ago I was in ICU in a coma for a short while and took some time off,she did not even ask me how I was. She is not someone that is painfully shy ( she is a supply high school teacher group).
Neither of us drive. We have an important competition coming up and if we win, we will be going to Italy. so naturally people are working harder and extra sessions have been put on. Last week I overheard this team mate I am friendly with saying to her that he will give her a lift. ( This man never uses FB, his last post was a Happy xmas post) I messaged him and got no response. I messaged her and asked her if she could please pass on a message and give the guy my number as I want to fit more practice in and they would literally need to drive past my house. Her response was a blunt ' I think you need to ask him yourself, Regards ' I messaged back straight away saying I have tried and he is probably busy in work given the nature of his job. As you will be in contact with him, can you let him know I would really appreciate it, if I could catch a lift and I will have my kit ready so I can jump right in. please let me know if manage to get hold of him If for whatever reason you can't I can see who else is heading in that direction. hopefully I will see you later. She read it and did not reply. That pissed me off. I have ALWAYS been polite and pleasant she has 0 reason to be so rude and akward.when we are so close to winning a big tournament I explained I could not get hold of the guy ( with the car) and as he was contacting her later, would she mind passing on a message. a " I think you need to speak to him yourself' I felt like screaming ' Bitch, do you honestly think I have not tried that? how hard is it for you to say ' by the way X asked if she could tag along as we are passing her house and she feels as if she needs more practice doing x" Even if we were not doing a competition. I find it odd that the COACH ( coaches are not allowed to compete, just well coach) is being so unfriendly to the point of hinderance and making things akward,
I have never said a bad word about her, been rude, give her attitude, the other coaches get on well with me and YES I am FB friends with ALL of them.
she has no personality to engage in. I am naturally pleasant and friendly to be around, BUT, I also have the awareness to know when people do not want to be bothered. ( I did workshops in Autism and mental health etc) So it is not like I am this loud screeching extovert.
To be frank she is Boring. IDC if she finds me boring. What I DO care about, is that due to her being an oddball, I have cancelled plans with friends and sat at home when I should be out practicing some moves, or spending time with my friends. All she had to do is say ' Sure I will ask him " They are driving past my house FFS on several occasionas I have waited outside by garden and jumped in with my kit. I know him quite well and I very much doubt his response would have been ' F her she can make her own way' This ' Coach' pulled a similar stunt before, but that involved going out for a Chinese meal, where she ' Forgot' to invite me.
When I was ill a couple years back I was in a coma and took some time off, they announced it on the groups main FB page and people asked me how I was etc. She said nothing. IMO, you need to be pretty cold hearted not to ask someone who was in a coma and in hospital for months ' how they are'. her not being my fb friend is a nuisance as well for practical reasons idc what exciting plans her and cats have. I know that sounds bitchy, but I have been aiming towards this goal since a qualified for it and every session counts. it is a group activity. She is one of the coaches she should WANT me to do well, for the sake of the TEAM. As soon as that competition has finished I have decided to be distant, when she sees me laughing and joking with the others, I am not going to look up say hello, smile and move so she can join us. She can say ' Excuse me' I am not including her in any conversation. She can learn to take cue and join in or she can stay mute or speak to the others over me. I am not going to nod for her to join us, because she sure as fuck did not make me feel welcome, when I first joined and I knew NO ONE there. I had to learn everyone names from scratch and let the relationship grow to the point we can sit in the pub and have a laugh and make jokes. I have never heard her crack a joke, or say anything funny. intelligent yes. She is an supply teacher and trained coach, so it is not as if she suffers from crippling anxiety. The loudest people in the group are men. I have a boyfriend, every single man in the group is either married or in a serious relationship. I have a boyfriend. she has been aloof and cold to me for 5 years. I think Tonight has been the last straw. if she mentioned it to him he would have picked me up as we are in the SAME TEAM. we are representing our Country we all like each other and want each other to do well. he would have drove past house with the ' coach' beside him and 2 empty back seats. The Chinese dinner ' may' have been an accident. but tonight NO Fucking WAY.
Truth be told. I don't think we will make it. maybe she knows deep down we are not good enough either, but a coach and high school teacher should know that exluding people and people aloof and standoffish and not even asking ' hey x how is your health' we meet in a social context pratically everyweek for over 5 years. HOW TF, can you STILL be so cold and aloof. I just don't get it.
No. 422154
>>422129im same fagging as my thread is all over the place.
I don't understand why my coach of 5 years is so cold, aloof and rude towards me.
We are aiming for a huge competition, so every session counts. I told her I could not get hold of the person that is driving to the extra session put om tonight and as she is going and they will have to get to my house to get there, can I tag along, will have kit ready and hop in the back ( I have dont this a few times)
Her terse reply was ' I think you should ask him yourself'
I repeated again, I could noy get hold of him and can she please mention it, as I need more practice doing x
she reads but does not respond.
My situation with her is getting to the point I am feel like as soon as the comp is over I will say something. She has done other shitty things.
I have always been nice, friendly and pleasent , asked her about her mum etc.
She does not recipiate , IDC at this point, so carried on being nice to her.
When my mum was very poorly, she never ever asked me about her.
I was in the ICU and in a coma, spent ages in hospital, took ages for me to get well again. - she never once asked how I was.
she remained her cold self. I suddenly remembered she ' forgot' to invite me to a chinese meal. She has also declined my friend rquest twice, noy ignored declined. she accepted other people including those that joined the group years after me. I have been speaking to her every week sometimes twice for near 5 years.
I get on great with everyone else, they have FB ed me and are friendly towards me. The men are married, I am in a relationship so it is not about that and she is mid 50's. lives at home with her cat and mum.
I used to be confused as to why she was like that, but after tonight I think fuck her. I have always been nice, pleasent, etc.
As soon as this comp us over, there are gonna be some changes.
when we are in the pub, we sometimes have to split up into small groups or 2 groups. I am usually with one group laughing and joking with some people. I am NO LONGER, inviting her over, or giving her a nod or pulling up a stool, or getting her involved in the convo/ she can sit there MUTE or she can get herse;f involved, she is old enough to be my mother.
She is a supply teacher and occasionally does work in front of camera for a small TV station. She is NOT shy.
I have never said a bad word about her as there is nothing there and it is tiring at times to have a convo, so I mostly only speak if she speaks fiirst which is rarely and direct closed questions only.
I get that people like to listern as oppose to join in, and at times people do not mesh, but we are all adults. Both work in professions where we need to chat to people. She is excluding me and making me feel unwelcome on purpose.
I am fed up of making an effort, or giving a lots of space when the results are he same, she only speaks to me if she has to.
and what is with her accepting everyone FB apart from mine. it is not the social aspect, It is about her not being pratical, Today or last night if she logged into FB messenger, I could have my answer sooner.
Even if you dislike someone for whatever silly reason, if that person REMAINS being nice to you, it is rude to not ask after a persons health if they have been in the ICU and a coma. Also I always asked about her mum. she never once asked about mine, when my mum was sick.
Since i found out a qualified I have been working hard. she being one of the coaches should WANT all of us to succeed as a Team, as she is he Coach, she knows my weaknesss and strengths. The entire point of the extra sessions is because if we win we get to go abroad.
As soon as this is over, I am not going to speak to her. lets see how she likes one word closed responses with no eye contact.
No. 422172
>>421858>>421864yes this is what i'm on, the androgen blockers are what do it really. the estrogen is just for your bones since they're still growing in your 20s. (at least that's what my gyno said). i don't have periods anymore and i would say i'm less hairy than i was before. still definitely have patches on my tummy and back though.
i have pcos and endo though and the endo was what ended up getting me put on blockers (had surgery earlier this year to get rid of some endo and trying to stop it growing back). just ask if it's an option for you.
it gets me down a lot too though since i know they're literally tranny pills.. but it's to stop the pain so ohwell.
No. 422173
>>422146it's okay anon, i have a naturally deep voice and never thought much of it (in my country it's pretty normal to have a deeper voice) but ever since i started playing online games with americans i've gotten nonstop critique on my 'manvoice'. i still think i sound pretty normal and plenty of other women do too, it's mostly just males who notice i feel like.
personally i think deep female voices (not my own) sound really sexy, so just work your angle. accept you're not going to be a kawaii lilypichu ass bitch and just work it. deep female voices are sultry and beautiful and you shouldn't be ashamed, even if it wasn't natural i'd imagine if you thought you were a tranny you're something of a tomboy, so it works.
No. 422174
>>422146it's okay anon, i have a naturally deep voice and never thought much of it (in my country it's pretty normal to have a deeper voice) but ever since i started playing online games with americans i've gotten nonstop critique on my 'manvoice'. i still think i sound pretty normal and plenty of other women do too, it's mostly just males who notice i feel like.
personally i think deep female voices (not my own) sound really sexy, so just work your angle. accept you're not going to be a kawaii lilypichu ass bitch and just work it. deep female voices are sultry and beautiful and you shouldn't be ashamed, even if it wasn't natural i'd imagine if you thought you were a tranny you're something of a tomboy, so it works.
No. 422180
File: 1560550760822.png (104.41 KB, 500x415, large.png)
>tfw got tits like Micky
I hate them so fucking much. I've started thinking about getting a boob lift but I'm terrified of it being botched.
Maybe chopping them off entirely would be a better idea.
On a more positive note I've lost 6 pounds so far after changing my diet and exercising more. Feels great to see the changes and I can't wait to be able to fit into my old clothes.
No. 422194
>>422146I noticed a woman where I worked that a similar situation as yours - she obviously had taken testosterone at some point, but was not making an effort to pass as male anymore. Her voice was distinctly just a smidge too deep for a woman to have naturally.
She seemed soft spoken and very self conscious of herself, but her voice was very influential and effective at getting people to listen to her and take her seriously even when she didn't intend it. It may be a disadvantage to have something you can't change draw so much attention to you right now, but maybe one day it could be wielded as an advantage.
No. 422206
File: 1560560439140.jpg (13.47 KB, 300x300, the-amazing-spiderman---los-an…)
Is it stupid for me to be weirded out that my friend got a nose job to look like my (natural) nose?
She told me after she got it that she showed the doctor a picture of my nose and told him to make hers look like it. I didn't know before. Her nose still has bandages on it so I can't tell what it looks like but I'm vaguely creeped out. She copies me a lot in general and I feel like she's basically skin walking me and trying to become me.
Honestly my nose is not that great, I like it fine but there are better nose shapes out there. It looks like pic related but a bit bigger. If it did turn out exactly like mine, it will not look good on her because she has a long face and different bone structure
No. 422223
File: 1560568914254.jpg (28.41 KB, 563x702, 9ec5163ee.jpg)
>>421755Thank you anon, I appreciate that.
He's certainly trying but his hand/wrists get tired easily rip
related vents:
I've been trying to get into shape and lift more weights because I'm paranoid about the idea of someone attacking us or me. It's kinda ridiculous but I'd like to believe that if I'm at least in shape I'd be able to fend someone off. I doubt my bf would stand a chance against some nutjob, he can't even run or else he'll get a heart attack. I have pepper spray and what not, but sometimes I feel that it's not enough.
I'm afraid of him dying as a result of his condition/during surgery. I have no idea if I could handle it No. 422241
>>422209She goes to the same hairdresser as me (fine, she's a good hairdresser lol) and asks for EXACTLY the same cut and color as me, does her makeup the same way as me & with the exact products I use, has completely changed her style to wear the same clothes as me, wears the same perfume as me, changed her major in college to mine. I know that when you're friends with someone you naturally become more similar, but it's like she's done a complete 180 since we became friends. Her style is just completely different now, like mine but … slightly off you know? A couple times I've suggested that she's clingy and joked that she's turning into me and she takes it as a compliment. I'm considering moving to a new city for a job and she said she started looking for jobs in that city.
At first I thought she had a crush on me but now it's like she wants to become me..
No. 422243
File: 1560573385477.jpeg (1.83 MB, 1125x1383, 2809BD72-580B-4D16-86BC-B49F39…)
I got everything I wanted in life and I’m bored with it
Anything I want is at my fingertips and I just don’t care
Life is empty when you act like an asshole to achieve your goals and hate how you got there
No. 422389
File: 1560608611910.jpg (27.81 KB, 500x683, s19_04_a06_66774_3030_on_a.jpg)
I'm a recent college graduate and I hold classes in foreign language. It's not an uni/school class, more like a hobby class for local community, and people around my age attend it. It's not a professional environment with a strict dress code either.
Today was extremely hot outside, coupled with humidity it felt like it was impossible to breathe. As my other light stuff was currently put to wash or already waiting to be washed, I put on shorts like pic related without much thinking. A lot of girls/women here wear shorts and skirts during weather like this, I just didn't think too much about it.
So after class I got an email from one of the males in my class saying "Those shorts look hot on you." and now I feel disgusted. Disgusted at myself and feeling guilty thinking I looked like a slut, disgusted at him for telling me that. My aik wasn't to appear sexy, I just wanted to wear something that won't make me go uncomfortable from all the heat.
I don't know why this bothers me so much, to the point I feel so ashamed and embarrassed of myself.
No. 422401
>>422389WTF anon, wearing shorts in that situation is normal! You shouldn't feel ashamed at yourself, only disgusted at him. That guy has serious cro-magnon brain sending a stupid gross email like that out of nowhere. The guy is most likely somewhat retarded. Seriously, decently intelligent and empathetic men with normal moral standards and a sense of propriety at least find a more subtle and polite way to let women know they're interested if they really like their legs or whatever. In my experience of what guys speak to me respectfully and what guys act explicitly rude just because I wear something tight or show my legs, only absolute troglodytes do the type of shit that guy did. It's 100% his fault.
Hell, I'm a graduate student and our clothing is generally more formal than most undergraduates', and still when it gets sweltering out many of my peers wear tank tops and shorts. Nothing wrong with not boiling to death, as overheating draws attention away from classwork as well.
No. 422431
>>422389Were those the short you were wearing? Aritzia's clothing is pretty much entirely career friendly (great taste btw). Don't feel ashamed, you didn't do anything wrong.
It doesn't matter what you're wearing, guys will be horndogs. Obviously it's normal to wear shorts or a skirt on a hot day.
No. 422442
>>422401Thank you anon, your comment makes me feel a bit better. I guess what throws me off guard is the fact that I'm there to teach, yet I still get seen as some kind of sexual object or something which really bothers me. I keep a friendly atmosphere to make classes more fun and students more willing to participate, but idiots like him see this as a green light to send shitty messages like that.
>>422431Ty, it's not the same brand but they look very similar.
No. 422506
File: 1560633034116.jpg (57.63 KB, 540x713, d9a8698b8edad814c37e27d7deb93d…)
Not into husbando stuff but… tfw 3d "submissive" men are still misogynists that care most about themselves and there's no chance of finding a kind hearted submissive guy that wishes he could help you, but is very vulnerable and needs to be protected by you
No. 422521
>>422506I agree, a lot of "submissive" men just want someone to cater to their fetishes without them reciprocating or doing any work. They're entitled and selfish just like normal "dominant" men, just in a different flavor.
I am so extremely lucky I met my boyfriend or I would have thought good men didn't exist. I can still be vulnerable about him too. I've even told him I've had fears about being hurt in a relationship and such, he is the same way, and we're helping each other work through it. While the average "submissive" guy would just whine and complain I'm not being Queen Bitch and giving him JOI and other dumb shit.
No. 422526
>>422522I don't see how distance is a problem, anon. They're in such short supply that it's worth it.
>>422521It's depressing. There's no 'kind' of male that cares about us. They're all bratty bitches. At least their teen queen bee level of self-involvement is slightly more tolerable when they're not posturing with the 'dominant' or macho bullshit, but it's still annoying and disappointing. 99.999999999% are only ever submissive in bed, which is not cute. They only play the part of docile little fawns to get off.
No. 422527
>>422508Why is it selfish for you to want to live? Are you a pedo or
abusive or something?
No. 422529
File: 1560637874437.jpeg (78.79 KB, 741x506, CC53AA4A-CE40-4393-8631-4C86F3…)
>>422525Oh hey, welcome to our fucking existence. Christ ugh
No. 422533
>>422526I agree with you completely. I'd say the only thing good about "dominant" men is that they're easy to avoid. It's such a huge disappointment when a submissive guy is really just a bottom or a switch. Yuck.
>99.999999999% are only ever submissive in bedThis is always disappointing. I've read online a lot of guys who lose their desire to be submissive when they cum, and then try to manipulate their gfs to put them in chastity, deny/ruin their orgasms, while teasing them all day to make sure they stay "submissive." The focus is still always on their pleasure and not on serving. The woman has to put in all this fucking work to get him to comply with the smallest of requests, while she gets almost nothing out of it. It's such a gross and sleazy way to be and I feel annoyed just thinking about it.
To be a somewhat positive, I am really glad my boyfriend doesn't fit this stereotype at all. He didn't even know he was submissive until we got to know each other very well and I brought it up. He doesn't act it at all. I have really specific tastes and wanted to let him know before we did anything so he could escape and he jokingly said "but serving the person I love sounds like the best thing ever, why would I want to escape?" My heart melted and I knew he was the one for me.
I think maybe, rather than looking for someone who is labels themselves submissive, it might be better to become friends normally, build a relationship from there, and see how people react to your preferences… It doesn't have a 100% success rate but I think there are more guys open to it than we think
>>422528I wouldn't doubt this happens, and this kind of ties into what I said above. I think the "undercover" submissive guys end up being better partners in the long run, which makes sense. Guys who label themselves such and proclaim it are more likely to be promiscuous and just in it to get off
No. 422541
>>422533Guys who label themselves such and proclaim it are more likely to be promiscuous and just in it to get off
I agree with that 100%. Submissive men end up being thots a lot, especially the bi ones. The "undercover" thing can be seen in all walks of life anyways. I don't have the source but I recall that a lot of people claim a higher iq than reality and the people who find iq to be bs or report theirs around the average are usually smarter than the people who claim to be above average. Actually, I just remembered a kind of funny story. A girl I was friends with dated a guy who would constantly talk about how dom he was as if it were his entire life. Then one day she finds out he was cheating on her with guys and he was the one bottoming, getting fucked in the ass and sucking dick.
No. 422549
>>422536They are rare, I won't lie. You are right, a lot of them end up being manipulative if they think it'll lead to them getting off. It's very hard and time-consuming to vet people and usually not worth it. I was on fetlife for a year (I know, but I didn't know anywhere else to look), and I had probably talked to almost 100 guys online, almost all of them tried to extort nudes and talk overly sexual within a few days. I went on dates with 2 of them who seemed ok online, before I realized they were also promiscuous and gross and didn't get involved with them beyond that. Those numbers crushed me and I almost gave up.
One of them who I thought was decent became my boyfriend for a year, until I learned he was just only sexually submissive and didn't want the same things as me. He would often throw a tantrum when I made a normal decision, like what movie to watch, where to eat, even if I asked his opinion he would get passive aggressive because I didn't always choose what HE wanted. He was also a shitty submissive sexually because whenever I tried to teach him how I liked to be touched or pleased, his ego would get shattered and he would get mad at me. The kicker was at the end of our relationship he told me he wanted to dom guys, despite us both agreeing in the beginning that we value monogamy. God I'm glad I got out of there. You almost turned me gay too, bud.
On the other hand my current boyfriend was my best friend for almost 6 years. Funnily enough we had crushes on each other forever, but I never made a move because I didn't realize we were compatible in that way especially because he was the gruff kind of guy who you would think is sexually dominant. He didn't make a move because he didn't want to make me uncomfortable (he's an angel). It took me 6 years, I can't imagine putting it that kind of commitment if it isn't natural. Makes me wonder how many other guys who don't seem it are actually submissive, but don't even know it, or are hiding it.
>>422541You are right, the people who are loud about anything in general are the worst. That is a really crazy story though, people like that are just complete degenerates. I never trust anyone who plays up how dom or sub they are, man or woman. If they make it their sexuality their identity rather than how they prefer their relationship to be, they're likely promiscuous and also batshit insane.
Also I'm glad you guys brought all this up because I've never been able to sperg about how annoying this whole sub guy situation is.
No. 422557
File: 1560642931184.gif (990.99 KB, 500x231, 498585854.gif)
>mom has a meltdown
>freaks out about her brand new phone suddenly "not working"
>she literally just got it a few months ago
>probably just fried it from all the malware and shitty apps she downloaded bc she refuses to learn to take care of her things
>last time I cleaned it for her there was a bunch of retarded shit on it
>she goes to our cell provider
>on our plan because it lowers cost
>find out she stole an upgrade I had so she could get herself a better new phone to royally fuck up
>mfw I've had my phone for three years and the screen is cracked, was literally about to upgrade to newest samsung
She's petty as shit. I hope it busts on her again.
No. 422625
File: 1560680725287.jpg (72.73 KB, 540x538, tumblr_poar5zW6MO1v13rxd_540.j…)
I feel like I'm attracted to codependent, unhealthy relationships, and I can't figure out why. I even seek out media that features things like that because I can relate to the feelings in some of them. I thought it was just an angsty phase that'd pass with my teens, but I'm still like this.
I've walked out of an unhealthy, emotionally damaging relationship, just to walk into another one. This one is better, but I still see some of the signs. I talk a lot about wanting to be "healthy" and "get better", but it seems like I'm just perversely drawn to dysfunction. If I don't think someone is messed up in specific ways, I feel like I'm just an alien to them and a foreigner in their space. I have to keep up pretenses, disguise myself as a normal, well-functioning person and translate all my thoughts or feelings into their language. It gets tiring.
It's like things don't feel complete if both of us aren't at least a little bit crazy. Either we have to get better together, or we have to get worse together. My brain won't let me realistically imagine any other type of scenario. It sucks.
No. 422629
File: 1560681879285.jpg (290.56 KB, 745x377, xlmvge4no9x21.jpg)
My boyfriend's so thin and has this perfect, delicate body, while I'm a fucking flabby piece of shit. I'm not even fat weight-wise (less than 120lbs and literally bony in some areas), it's just that my body carries all its weight badly, probably because I was fat as a child and lost weight later on. It's like I was just cursed to be badly built from the start.
At best, I can look like one of those "thicc" IG models, though that's not the aesthetic I want at all. At worst, I look like the fucking slug secretary from Monsters Inc. Kill me.
No. 422650
>>422629Just work out dude, it's likely you're skinny fat.
Take up walking every day and doing medium-high intensity dancing or weight lifting while eating a good amount of protein, and then boom. You get toned.
No. 422654
>>421796Also why the fuck is white male suicide so high, compared to others they have world literally catered to them.
The fact that theirs is so high when people will bent over backwards for them proves that they are a bunch of insecure babies who can't handle a challenge ffs.
No. 422670
>>422654maybe because theyre so used to having everyone cater to them that every single small thing makes them fly off the handle
idk tho
No. 422719
>>422703nta but getting rid of social media really shouldnt be like planning for a major life event. its really not that big of a deal.
maybe because i grew up when there werent socials but even still i have people my age that see me every now and then that get mad because i dont have a facebook to send them hearts on their posts or reblog their tumblrs. i hate to reference south park but yea, that facebook episode really did have it right. its pointless and nothing but a money grab and data mine for companies and people sacrifice too much for literally nothing.
No. 422727
>>422719The only reason why I want to get rid of social media after I graduate is because I might need to use facebook to get important info related to college. I literally made my facebook account just for that and it has been a pain in the ass ever since. Once I had a teacher whose class started on Monday at 8am posting on fb about the class being cancel a few hours earlier, but since I expected him to do his job properly and sen us important messages by emails I woke up at 6am, read my emails before leaving the house and took public transport for almost an hour for nothing.
>maybe because i grew up when there werent socials but even still i have people my age that see me every now and then that get mad because i dont have a facebookSame for me, I was in highschool at the time and I realise I grew out of friendships with all of my high school friends just because I didn't have a fb account.
>i hate to reference south park but yea, that facebook episode really did have it right. I haven't watched South Park in a while, I'll check this out when I'll have enough free time.
No. 422731
I feel like dumb and naive.
>Have a friend I've met about a year ago. I'm in my mid-20s while she just entered her 30s.- I was in a new city and hardly knew anybody. We clicked well, have lots of mutual interests and topics to talk about. I'm happy that I'm not lonely.
>First weird thing I notice is whenever we talk to a mutual male colleague/friend, she talks over me and and it feels like she's trying to make herself appear as better than me in everything. When it happened first, I thought she had a crush on the guy and saw me as competition, so I backed out since I had no interest in the guy (neither he has shown interest in me). Make sure she knows that, ask her if she likes him - she vehemently denies it, even starts shittalking him.
>Notice it happens with other mutual male colleagues, friends etc. If both of us are talking to a guy, she tries to lowkey talk me down, while bragging about herself etc, flirts with them but it never goes anywhere etc…
>Some time passes, she applies for a doctorate scholarship in a foreign country. I support her all the way, try to give her courage. She almost gets it, gets rejected in the very last stage but has very good chances to get it if she re-applies next year, since there is not a big competition for it. Again, I comfort her, give her support etc.
>Meanwhile I've been planning to apply for a different scholarship. Told her about it before, she didn't have interest in it. Start planning it more seriously and tell her about my plans - she doesn't support me at all and instead starts talking about how she's thinking about applying and how she has more chances than even though the scholarship is way harder to get and it's not her "dream" scholarship (the one she still has good chances for) either.
>This is the part where I end up being a dumb naive idiot. Basically she constantly brags how much she loves the job she does. Meanwhile there is a job opening for a job in an industry that I'd really like to be part of. Again talk to her about, she says she'd wouldn't really want working there etc. I apply for the job, send my CV, get scheduled for an interview. Tell her about it, she seems chill about it but slowly each day starts asking me - first about which CV template do I use, then how do I prepare for interview and what I'm gonna say, on which day do I have the interview etc. Being the naive idiot, I tell her all about it.
>Lo and behold, one week later she informs me how she applied to the same job because she suddenly realized that it might benefit her. She also managed to schedule the interview one day before me because she's apparently super busy the other days. Can't say shit because hey, it's an open job position and she has every right to apply to it.
I'm dumb as fuck and obviously have some subconscious cuck tendecies because I should've called her out or cut her off sooner.
No. 422732
>>422731shes just an asshole. age has nothing to do with it. guaranteed she has acted like that her whole life.
what an awful bitch tho i hope she fucks the interview up.
No. 422751
>>422731People like her strategically seek out younger company to hang out with because people their own age have figured them out and they can't get away with manipulating or pushing them around anymore.
I am not saying don't be friends with older people but 9/10 times they can't fit in with their own group for a very good reason.
You have learned your lesson now. It only counts as being a cuck if you keep repeating it after knowing better.
Spine develops with age and experience, don't feel bad for somebody else taking advantage of that and being shit. You couldn't have done differently at the point in life you were at and that's literally why she picked you.
No. 422752
File: 1560722107915.gif (993.38 KB, 290x198, 1511735780862.gif)
>>422744Maybe it's your personality
No. 422771
>>422757Yeah I get asked out all the time by neckbeards and guys with shitty ulterior motives like just wanting to fuck me or if they need a partner with a car and money.
Doesn't mean I want them. I want a quality boyfriend, and that's way harder to come by.
No. 422773
>>422771Tbh, I don't quite believe you now, because your entire post was a rant about how fat neet girls have bfs, as if their bfs aren't neckbeards or general undesirables, but allegedly you get asked out all of the time? Plus, not once in your post did you mention the fact that quality men are in short supply – you just don't want lazy fatties to have companions at all, apparently.
Like, unless they're quality men that are with unkempt neet girls, I don't understand why you'd even be bitter. Besides, being ugly and unaccomplished or whatever doesn't mean you don't deserve a romantic or sexual life.
No. 422812
>>422744Maybe you're just not a person people like to hang out with?
I was a pretty big loser when I found my bf while he had a job and most of his shit figured out, but it made up for it by being good company and looking as nice as I could.
No. 422871
File: 1560786377641.png (444.85 KB, 467x463, Wii-orangejuice.png)
Context: Me and a close friend have (or had, now) mutual feelings for each other for a while, but both agree to not make it "official" until we sort out some stuff in our lives, which would take a while. I guess we had a honeymoon phase for a few months, but the talking slowed since we got busy with other stuff.
It wasn't until recently that I found out that not only did he have a fuck buddy, but she moved in with him after only a month of dating. So now I barely slept because I was super upset of having my trust with him shattered. He was very supportive person and even offered to pay for some stuff that I needed.
From a mutual friend, his then explanation for getting a fuck-buddy? "Well, it seems like like she was losing interest, sooooo…." In the past, he would tell me his worries if I was losing interest in him, and I always reassured him that my feelings for him hasn't wavered, but he knows I'm a generally quiet person.
I guess I've been "too slow" for him to finish getting my shit sorted, so he dumped all what we had built up to get his dick wet. Thanks. Very nice. It's appreciated.
No. 422919
>>422883White features to them mean anything symmetrical and small, lol. I've seen plenty black women with small and narrow features even if they use that retarded argument of WhIte FeAtuRes what are they gonna do, pretend black women with those faces and that skin color doesn't exist?
the funny part is Pokemon has no history of making Indian or any South Asian character at all (as with most Japanese creators) but have had obviously AA (not African, but AA) characters..
No. 422934
>>422919This. I hate how they also unironically believe any semi-attractive black person must be part-white or mixed or whatever, or when they claim that you can't be full black if your skin isn't super-dark or if your hair is longer. I've been asked if I'm mixed before for those reasons (not to humble-brag), and it's just so fucking backhanded.
African people are one of the most genetically diverse groups on the planet. Racists can die mad about it.
No. 422959
>>422954>>422954even if you were a fattychan its okay to treat yourself to tasty food sometimes anon.
i tried the stroopwaffle mcflurry today and its delicious, and i don't even like ice cream at all. it's worth it.
No. 422970
>>422959Good to hear! I'm going to try and get it today after work…
I've definitely learned to let myself enjoy food again without guilty of every tiny thing I put in my mouth (hell, I would scold myself for eating a tiny package of saltines with a sliver of peanut butter on it because I was so starved from restricting all day). I guess the only good thing that came out of it is that I'm mindful of roughly how many calories I'm eating (especially treats that are like 1k calories in a single serving lol), but it sucks that I let myself miss out on so many good foods because I was being a dumbass at the time.
No. 422987
>>4227441. Girls who are depressed, anxious, obese, not independent etc. are an easy lay to men. 2. These same girls make insecure men feel more masculine for having someone depend on them so much. I've seen this happen so many times and this is what it boils down to. You wouldn't want the men these girls are dating, they're always the bottom feeders and threatened by a woman succeeding them in whatever field.
Case in point, I have a guy friend who only seems to date low IQ girls with depression and zero life management skills because he very blatantly enjoys being the more intelligent and successful one in the relationship. Other men have a savior complex and constantly want to feel like they're needed, and other men just simply couldn't get anything better. Women who don't have crippling issues know their worth and that's why they prefer to stay single or wait for a more suitable partner.
No. 422996
>>422987*some but not all cases
Don't you think it's a little harsh to say any woman with depression, anxiety, or who has a weight problem is dating a covert scumbag? Yeesh.
No. 423016
File: 1560813257365.jpg (655.07 KB, 800x943, 979df18a3b1dafd5a1661fb758ea05…)
I started a tiny little business, mostly for my own enjoyment as it's an activity I love. For the first 2 days, I had no success with it at all. I compared it to my boyfriend's struggle with his own business, saying we were in the same boat. (This was later a huge mistake)
Suddenly, I got a client. It was a tiny, tiny success, but a success nonetheless. I happily told my boyfriend the success I had and even showed him what I did for the client.
He said he was happy for me, but I could tell he was upset. He said he was a failure, his business was a failure. He basically turned my happy success into a nightmare about how much of a failure he is.
I started feeling like shit but I reassured him over and over that he's not a failure at all.
He then gets angry at me, says I don't care about his feelings, that I make everything about myself, etc. He switched between blaming me and blaming himself and in the end just seemed to blame me entirely.
We resolved it by the end of last night. I told him I would continue to share my success with him.
But… I'm scared. I feel like he's unpredictable in how he'll react to things. If my business booms and his shit is still at rock bottom, I'm afraid he'd grow terribly jealous. If I say one little thing wrong, he blows up at me.
I love this man to death, but I've posted about him at least 4 times at this point. It feels like our relationship is a mess and it's all my fault.
It feels like it's all my fault for having a tiny sliver of success.
Even though we made up, it still bothers me. I can't vocalize this to him because he'll just get upset at me again. He even told me today that it feels like we're growing distant.
I love this man, but I hate my life.
I don't know what to do anymore.
No. 423023
>>423016He sounds incredibly insecure and pressed, and by the way it's not your fault that you got a customer and he didn't.
If you really want to stay with him then I'd suggest keeping your success under wraps, and not that it needs saying but just in case: Never join your incomes and keep them separated. If his ego is bruised by your first customer then I can't imagine how injured he'd become if he found out you were more financially viable as well.
No. 423036
>>422241dude, run, this is some Single White Female shit. watch that and Perfect Blue/look at some of the skinwalking threads on here if you aren't scared enough.
tell her she needs therapy and bounce girl.
No. 423057
I hate that I unironically feel like I shouldn't have been born in this generation, I hate that it makes me sound like a le wrong generation fag, and truth be told I probably am, but I've been feeling this way since as young as I could remember back to when I was 2 or 3, and unironically feel dysphoric about it at many times. I'm basically a trans-boomer with how retarded I am about this, kek, but it's so autistic but I can't help it.
I don't really feel comfortable with the music, subcultures, and how people are getting more increasingly antisocial, weirder, and dependent on technology the more as years go by, and tbh the 21st century made a lot of strides but it seems to lack something (imo) the mid-late 20th century had. Now don't get me wrong I'd rather live in 2019 than 1930 but god if I could be like in the mid-late 70s or early 80s at my current age and be on my way out right now I'd take it in a heart beat.
No. 423063
>>423060Nah, the advancement of technology during and after the 90's definitely changed a lot about current society as we know in for the 2000's and 2010's, and there's been a lot of studies put out about how it's drastically affected the modern human's way of communication and adapting to society, ffs, many complaints on lolcow and increasingly all over the internet and about it, are about pornsickness, weebs, ect, come from the fact technology and the internet is an increasingly prevalent part of our lives.
I also never stated that they didn't have to deal with the ebb and flow (though it wasn't the 'same'), so idk where you got that from
No. 423073
>>423060>>423064stop acting like a psychotic cunt and take your meds.
>>423057i feel you, anon.
No. 423084
I've avoided sickness this winter and now its suddenly all hit me at once. I have a bad head cold, yellow snot, sore throat, pounding head, nausea etc. I also got my period at the same time (which I had not got in ages), my vagina/vulva fucking hurts. It's so god damn itchy, I gave in and scratched it now it stings like a motherfucker when I piss. The lower part like near the butt has been irritated for a while and I don't know why. I don't have sex, I don't use toys, I don't do anything to hurt her. I don't wanna take these antibiotics I got for my cold cos there gonna make whatever going on down there worse. My snot before I got this cold has been black. I don't live In a polluted air area so the only other explanation is lung cancer according to google. Yay. I wonder if my body is breaking down a bit form the constant abuse I put it through. Eating under 200cal Mon-Fri then drinking 15 beers, whatever drugs I get and eating till my stomach is very painful and stretched out. Damn, a bitch really lives like this..
No. 423100
>>423073how the fuck is
>>423060 psychotic? anon wants to have been a housewife in the 30s.
No. 423105
>>423104Samefag I actually did said something about the 1930's but it was "I'd rather live in 2019 than 1930">>423057
which made your comment and the other anon's sperging because they also probably half assed read my comment more retarded.
No. 423153
File: 1560852327037.gif (2.81 MB, 268x326, 16c71eec-37a3-4b8f-bc2e-056046…)
I want to enjoy some Cyberpunk fanart, gifs etc but the subreddit is full of dudebros and tumblr has the offended trans people.
I can't win.
No. 423155
File: 1560853381808.jpg (38.88 KB, 580x334, cyberpunk-2077-trans-ad-580x33…)
>>423154Some people were upset as soon as they saw the white male protag but they got really offended by pic related, since they interpret it as making fun of trans women. I don't get it because non-binary people love talking about being "gender punks" and mixing gender up, but apparently in this poster, it's transphobic.
No. 423196
File: 1560864381282.jpg (121.02 KB, 800x617, flowers14.jpg)
>friend is having a Victorian themed tea party for her 29th bday
>look on etsy to see what I can find
>beautiful tea dress that looks like it wouldn't be too too hot for summer
>but it's $2.5k
>doesn't even include the crinoline
>I'd have to make a custom hat for it too
>and find matching jewelry
>plus buy time approprtiate shoes
>mfw
>also mfw everyone is probably going to roll up in cheap crap anyway
Still.
The construction on it is gorgeous though. The price is well deserved, even the fabric choice is so deliberate. I've always wanted to look like the rich women from the paintings, it's so elegant.
Being a poor with no room to spend frivolously on clothes is upsetting sometimes.
No. 423201
>>423198>Just look at what happens when you draw a black character. They'll get upset if you don't draw it like a racist caricature but they'll also get upset if you do.Ironically, I've only ever seen most of this discourse come from non-black "allies" who
assume we want characters to look as stereotypical as possible, or racists who insist all non-stereotypical features are automatically white.
No. 423205
I was walking down to the grocery store completely immersed in my thoughts when, all of a sudden, I felt a huge slap on my ass. I was completely startled and then I felt another strong slap few seconds later on the same spot.
It turned out to be some cyclists who thought they were funny. I felt completely humiliated. But what made it worse is that the group of cyclists, there were like ten of them maybe, found it hilarious and started laughing and even tried to do the same so I went as farther as I could from the curb into the bushes.
I wasn't dressed provocatively, not that it would excuse their behavior, and I was just minding my own business, why did they do that? I felt like crying, I felt impotent rage. It happened yesterday and they probably forgot about it while I still feel like shit, I feel like a can you kick on the road for amusement, a pushover. It took me back to not so distant high school days when I was bullied. I feel worthless and it's stupid that I feel like it over something so not important but I do.
No. 423206
File: 1560866292989.jpeg (1.09 MB, 1226x1690, 7C6E2C30-4825-4FE3-A0B8-EA1F47…)
First it would ruin YouTube videos and now it haunts me on Instagram, will this ad ever stop being a shit stain on my life
No. 423223
>>423213Thanks anon. I know that their actions speak about them and not me yet it doesn't stop me from feeling like shit. Their laughter is etched into my memory. I hate that I didn't do anything. I wish that I even showed them a middle finger or cursed at them. Instead I just cowered.
>>423220I wish I was making it up. You don't have to believe me. I'm just venting here.
But to add, they had all the road for themselves and there was no one else at that moment in vicinity. Where I live is like a semi rural area and there's a makeshift(?) sidewalk where people usually go but it's not really a proper one. Whatever.
No. 423228
File: 1560868613928.jpg (12.66 KB, 200x255, 2018_NYR_16084_0065_000(john_s…)
Rant about bf's parents. We live about 2 hours away in our own place and usually spend time with his parents on the weekends. His parents are both blue-collar, in their mid fifties, nice people but definitely have some issues. When I first moved in with my bf 2 years ago, his parents had just started drinking again after being completely abstinent from alcohol for 5 years. Since they started, it's been a slow crawl to alcohol misuse and abuse. About 7 months ago, his mom fell in the shower while drunk and trying to clean the walls. She was standing on top of a cooler and slipped, breaking her arm. Then she got opioids and started mixing alcohol and painkillers. Her husband was away for work so my bf and I had to take care of her. I felt very uncomfortable knowing she was mixing painkillers and alcohol but felt it wasn't my place to say anything, so I encouraged my bf to but he wouldn't.
Anyway, the parents stopped drinking for a month but now they are in full force again. Last night they called us at 9pm screaming, fighting, crying, and apparently, very drunk. According to my bf's sister, their mother has gotten so drunk recently that she passed out and pissed herself. I am taking them on a trip later this summer to see my family and I am really concerned that they are going to act out. My family is very uptight and it was uncomfortable for me to even ask to bring them with me when we visit. It's putting me in a bad position because I don't want to overstep my boundaries or offend anyone, but I absolutely cannot stand chaos or dysfunction.
I also know it is hard for my bf, so I am trying not to nag him over it. I saw my mom VERY briefly hit a rough spot, and it was absolutely horrible. He says he "doesn't care" because it's their own choice to drink but I can tell it affects him.
I just don't know what to do.
No. 423250
>>423196Could you post a pic ? I love Victorian dresses.
Live your dream, anon. Be an elegant lady having a tea party. That sounds amazing.
No. 423255
>>423230Please tell me if you ever find out. I've come to accept that I'm probably just a full on lesbian (instead of bisexual like I've always thought) and butch lesbians are definitely my type but it sucks that I can't just explore more relationships with women more without running into fucking enbies everywhere and then complicating a relationship more than it should (e.g. dating them while being explicit that my interest is only in women brings up so many fucking gender issues that I just don't want to fucking deal with).
I'm debating whether to redownload her/tinder because I just want a cute gf so much, but I'm also unfortunately picky and feel like dating apps are 99% crazies and it's not worth the effort.
No. 423256
>>423244>>423244I feel like there were a shitload of gnc girls my age until like 2014, I went into a deep depressive hole for 5 years, and now I'm out and they all disappeared?
I don't get it. gnc girls used to be so proud about being girls despite being gnc. I always loved that about them. how did they give in so easily?
No. 423318
>>423205anon i believe you and i’m sorry people are such cunts. i’m a cyclist myself but i ride solo because all the cycling groups in my city are dominated by young guys with massive entitlement complexes. honestly they’re the same as car obsessed douches, always one upping each other about new gear and mods, it’s like some kind of pathetic locker room dick measuring competition instead of what it’s supposed to be: just a fucking sport.
i hope they all wipe the fuck out and get dirt in their dickholes.
No. 423384
File: 1560905235933.gif (906.9 KB, 440x248, tumblr_pkotosXtVy1ukoi7g_500.g…)
I'm tired of hearing about gay men. If you go to YouTube there's like 10 new big ole gay men coming out like it's supposed to be a surprise even though they've looked like an absolute faggot for years already. Dan from Dan and Phil always looked like a ladyboy and of course the effeminate Asian guy from the Try Hards is gay. Now he's made 3 videos about how GAY he is. It wouldn't bother me so much if 99% of gay men weren't misogynistic. I'm tired of hearing how sex crazed and degenerate they are. I'm tired of seeing James Charles' fat baboon anus lips popping up as soon as I open the YouTube app. Why are gay men, men in drag, and trannies fucking everywhere?
No. 423387
File: 1560905601118.png (245.71 KB, 1129x558, a8758dc7-445c-4f01-baee-31ded1…)
came back to uni country after visiting family for a month, now I feel empty again and miss my kitty sleeping by my feet. this foreign education better be worth something in the end. i don't hate it here at all, rather i hate international travel, really makes me realise how detached from everything and alone I am and how I could get lost and fuck everything up so easily.
but mostly I just miss my sweet kitty making his weird sleepy noises and sensing he's just there.
No. 423392
Fuck everything I'm so pissed off. I've been assaulted and in abusive relationships so many times, after therapy and feeling frustrated with how widespread sexual violence is, I went to a rape crisis center to volunteer on their crisis line. Go through training, learn all about rape myths, then go and have empowering conversations with fellow survivors.
Get raped again. Go to the hospital and the nurse doubts how serious I am (I was pretty confused about what had happened, still in shock) so I end up not getting a rape kit.
Year later, get raped again. Go to the hospital and DEMAND a rape kit (evidence kit, whatever), get it (fucking awful btw), and then go to the police full aware they'll probably be shitty.
My investigator tells me it's my fault, I should have fought back, I did x y and z wrong, it's he said she said, she would have done things differently if she were in my position jesus fuuuucking christ. So now I've complained to a police review board and am waiting on that.
Moved to a location where funding was actually going towards sexual assault survivors. Arrive in town and it's a one year waiting list to see a counsellor fuck sakes.
Found services for recent cases and see a social worker. Of course she's telling me that nothing is unique about my case. I know this is to make me feel less lonely and ashamed but when I ask her how I can get justice, she tells me it's a matter of keeping the conversation regarding sexual violence going.
Fuck everything, I'm tempted to make a youtube channel for survivors. What to do immediately after assault, short and long term effects of assault, challenging rape myths, maybe documenting my experiences with ptsd. I was so tempted to turn on the camera right after being assaulted because I'm so tempted to document all of the bullshit that a survivor has to go through, I want to fucking scream from the rooftops and tear the justice system a new asshole.
I want that investigator's job.
"Keeping the conversation going" is not the justice I want, but it's likely all I'll ever get.
That I'm not alone in this is no comfort. I wish I could start a protest where everyone with a kit collecting dust goes to their local police station and pesters them for info about their case. Or every survivor goes to report on one day lol I know it's not realistic, not everyone is safe enough to report (and secondary victimization by the people supposed to protect you is no joke) but part of me wants the justice system to just be so fucking overloaded by people demanding something gets done that (gasp) something gets fucking done.
/endrant
No. 423398
>>423384Aw shit Dan Howell is gay? I thought he was just stuck in the late 2000s. Imagine if the gay is awakened by the amount of fanfic he’s made to consume.
But yeah Amen, the gay men worship thing we have going on is the worst. Is there a term for being gay men-phobic? I swear to god they got it in their heads that being gay gives them a pass to be more insufferable than straight men.
No. 423400
>>423392Woah, sorry to hear about your horrible experience anon.
>I want that investigator's jobIs it just me or are there a lot of incompetent people in important positions of power these days? It seems like a lot of Gen Xers are like that in particular, as if these people just wandered in or got grandfathered into these positions and have no idea how the fuck to handle them.
Not that it's related to rape, but I met the corporate coordinator for my company and she's a retarded bitch with no education and no idea how to organize. How the fuck?
No. 423451
File: 1560919987533.png (19.14 KB, 747x113, sellout whore.png)
WHY ARE STRAIGHT WOMEN SO FUCKING PATHETIC?!
Always trying to get male attention no matter what, even if by doing so they're degrading themselves or throwing their fellow women under the fucking bus. I feel like beating the shit out of them every time I read shit like pic related. Get some fucking self esteem for God's sake.
No. 423464
>>423457This woman does want to be beaten, though. Just not by me.
>>423461Here it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKkmKq5PcAIReally do hope it's a canned response, because I want to believe there aren't women retarded enough to say something like this.
No. 423467
>>423464>by the time we're done they want to kill themselvesNow
this is pinkpill praxis.
No. 423481
File: 1560926323120.jpeg (9.7 KB, 225x225, 00ZD02FF220.jpeg)
>>423471>Tfw my boss who's a total incompetent bitch inherited that position from her daddy.He was a very competent and hardworking man, but his daughter just can't live up to him, she's there only because she came from his balls, bitch was already born a millionaire and had to steal some competent person job on top of that. I wish I worked there when he was still the boss, he was a self made man and I can respect that.
No. 423484
>>423474>can't stand or feel threatened by other womenThat's not accurate at all, how often do you see a fag hag who doesn't have any female friends? It's always a group of women with a token gay guy or two. When women feel threatened by other girls they become 'one of the guys' and hang out with straight men who give them attention for having a vagina. The straight part is essential because that special treatment makes them think guys are easy to get along with while girls are ~catty bitches~.
Girls who fawn over gay men just see them as novelties for being men who don't hit on them and can share interests with, it's not that deep.
No. 423510
>>423509Sorry you're having such a bad time anon.
Do you have any friends you can reach out to and tell them how isolated you're feeling? Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? There's the end of a honeymoon period and there's being straight up neglectful
No. 423564
>>423468>>423470I'm basically you, I'm the therapist-friend
What you need is another therapist friend just like you, who has overinvested in the same people and been burned for it. You need someone who matches your same level of selfless care. Someone who can give you more hope for people, and feel validated as a human being.
Your social worth is being drained on other people and it's preventing you from standing up for yourself, it's stopping you from apologizing for other people's abuses. As you grow you'll realize some of the help you offer is neither wanted nor helpful. I do not mean this in a way that hurts your pride, these people aren't ready yet, you're too mature and too caring. They often have to learn the hard way.
please e-mail me if you want a friend or someone to talk to
No. 423639
File: 1560959608330.gif (483.86 KB, 480x270, giphy.gif)
FUCK ME
The clinic(s) that the best trichologist that I've ever met and that I started my treatment with don't accept my health plan anymore
fuuuuckkk thiiissss now I have to start all over and my hair keeps fucking falling i hate this shittt
No. 423739
>>423684I hear you anon, I'm in a similar situation but I've always pursued mostly women. But during the recent years I've started to find men more and more repulsive and women even more attractive, but I'm one foot in the closet and even my family doesn't know about my past girlfriends so I don't know if I'm a lesbian forcing myself into the heteronormative mold by claiming to be bi or a bisexual who's just repulsed by bad experiences with men. And I'm almost in my 30's so it's not just a teenage phase, it's a situation that has lasted ever since I hit puberty.
>>423713Honestly this. I'm afraid of telling people I'm bi partially because of my own internalized homophobia and partially because of the reaction it causes in straight and gay people. They always assume I'm either in it for the attention or just a lesbian in denial.
No. 423741
I've been homeless for the past two days. I sleep in a very big park that's basically a botanical garden. I feel safe sleeping in here because this place is really big and it's usually guarded and you need to pay a fee to go inside, so I'm kind of staying in here illegally because I found a hole in the fence in a part of the garden that's not really being taken care of. The only thing that bothers me is the damn mosquitoes but I do have a very small tent I sleep in, so they only bother me if I get out of the tent during the night.
During the day I go to a McDonald's that's like 30 minutes away from here, I go there to charge my phone and my laptop and I also eat the leftovers of other people but they aren't really leftovers because people buy so much food they don't even eat, touch or take home with them it surprises me, I have plenty of food thanks to that. I try to keep myself looking as clean as possible and not homeless looking so I won't seem vulnerable. I use the bathrooms of fast food places to clean myself, brush my teeth, I try to keep a good hygiene. I don't have much clothes so I know I'll run out of clean clothes soon and I don't know how I'll manage to do my laundry. I was thinking of shoplifting some detergent and then going to some fast food place at an hour where there aren't costumers to wash my clothes in the sink and then bring the wet clothes in the park I live in to hang them around trees and let them dry.
I'm not sad anymore, especially after my mother committed suicide. I just feel compelled with my life, I don't feel like I'm struggling anymore, I'm feeling at peace somehow although I still contemplate suicide everyday. I don't have anyone, I don't have friends, I don't really have family anymore, I don't have expectations from the future or from myself anymore. I do want to get out of this situation and I would also like to have a normal job one day and have friends too but I'm not sure if that's possible for me. One day I would like to write a book and produce music, I love art, but I know that won't really happen either. I write poetry and I read daily, art and literature give me a great sense of comfort. I was a camgirl until a few weeks ago but I stopped working due to how stressful it felt and how much anxiety it created for me and because I would get death threats daily, but I know I shouldn't have stopped, now I don't know how to get out of this situation. The thing I'm most afraid of is that someone will tell I'm homeless and rape me or kill me because I'm alone and honestly I don't want to seek the companionship of other homeless people.
I hope no one reads this because it's so miserable but at the same time I needed this, I had to vent somehow. Thank you lolcow.
No. 423743
>>423741Where are you? Are you somewhere in Europe? I'd gladly give you some safe space to sleep in until you put yourself back on your feet. Or maybe some other anon that's closer to you could help.
I'd say I was sorry for your situation but I know it doesn't really mean anything. It's cheap to type it out but I really am sorry and I wish I could help. You can still try and work on your goals but aren't there organizations that could help you out?
No. 423751
>>423726Hi anon! This is my throwaway if you'd like to talk.
>>423739It feels good to know that others are going through the same thing. Is it too dramatic to say "I've only been treated like shit by men so I'd much rather just avoid dating them altogether"? Sometimes I hate that "all men suck" rhetoric because it feels so overplayed, but it's also… not not true lol. Shitty women definitely exist too, but I'd rather spend my time with them than with men who usually want nothing more than to get into my pants. Also my sex drive took a huge plunge into nowhere so now that I'm not driven by my sexual needs, I really, really don't feel like fooling around with men.
No. 423815
File: 1560992761610.jpg (60.43 KB, 640x640, Tl1TKsZilkqN2zoP7TLUuxA_UrcxpM…)
I'm a party pooper and I hate it
No. 423837
>>421480>>423831My existence alone is a party pooper since I'm not the best behaved or dressed…
I also come from low income so extra points for ruining everything I attend
No. 423857
File: 1560999015349.jpg (34.54 KB, 512x288, 2518614259973930954.jpg)
i've been actually standing up for myself lately and it has seemed to be working despite my anxiety about it
No. 423890
File: 1561012076933.jpg (41.32 KB, 780x439, keanu-reeves-as-ted-theodore-l…)
>>423861He's just a guy now he's old but he was top qt in Bill and Ted.
That said I don't really see people sexualizing him… More like putting him on a pedestal for being nice and down to earth and having a sad life. I assume that's what anon meant by people ruining him for her because the worship is getting OTT.
No. 423905
>>423205I’m sorry that happened to you anon!
I was sexually assaulted by a cyclist (not a gang tho) recently on the street too, it’s so bizarre. I’m convinced the bikes are their getaway vehicle more than anything. Fucking creep men all deserve to die.
No. 423972
>>423959I know that feeling all too well anon. I'm sorry.
>>423964Taller guys usually want short girls even more, idk if that's a good advice. Only short guys/guys my height were interested in me (I like manlets so I don't complain, but it's a nightmare for my 6'0 friend). I'm from European country (average height for both males and females is quite high), and still, according to research, women who are extremely short get the most matches/messages/attention. It's just something you have to accept.
No. 424025
>>423914Dump him, he probably wasn't socialized properly while growing up (like most men) and it's not your job to be his mommy. Let him tumble through life like the caveman he is. Maybe he'll read some books and grow but it's not your responsibility.
Expressing feelings in a conversation is extremely different from screaming like an ape. He's an ape.
No. 424051
>>424032honestly it doesn't have that much to do with being conventionally attractive or not, just insecurity. some really unattractive people can go through life with no insecurities and just be oblivious to other's opinions, while girls who are considered super attractive feel ugly constantly.
you just have to find more things about yourself that
you like, and focus on realistic things you want to change like weight and strength or makeup, things like that.
i'm probably considered conventionally attractive, but i am very tall and built pretty big, never had skinny legs or anything and it took me a long time to embrace myself, but it happened.
good luck anon!
No. 424074
File: 1561051791390.png (14.78 KB, 640x480, stick-figure-boobs.png)
My boobs will not stop growing and I am literally underweight. I look fucking retarded because my ass is tiny and so is the rest of my body and then I've got these massive fucking cow tits. I've gone up two cup sizes in a year. I never used to need a sports bra while running but now I do. I have horrible backpain and I can only imagine its from the new weight on my chest. They fucking ache around my period like they're going to burst.
I hate my life
No. 424166
>>424157Anon is probably just finally started growing boobs and is exaggerating because of how drastic it feels from her own perception.
Breasts that don't stop growing are actually a thing though
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast_hypertrophy No. 424167
File: 1561071182525.gif (630.3 KB, 500x262, giphy.gif)
>drop out of a top university with a 3.2 gpa because narcissistic mother pushed me to attempt suicide with her bullshit
>get a 15 an hour job but can't keep shit because "well remember when i gave u that 2k loan for school? i need it back, also rent."
>eventually have to move states to live with estranged father because i literally had no other choice
?get to new state, father promised a 20 an hour job at his restaurant gig, surprise surprise hes a fucking liar too.
>in a new state with no car, no license (i didn't need one in my old state it was a northern state with great public transportation, i'm in the south now)
>I had to pay to get my birth certificate bacause mother dearest didn't have my OG one, paid for uber trips everywhere (including to my sick grandmas but thats a different story on its own), paid to get permit but now i have no one to teach me to drive and not enough in the bank to take classes on my own anymore.
>have less than 1k in savings but it was going to be enough to last me until i went back to school in august and got financial aid
>dad asks for money
>i've been here for three months not paying rent so i can't really say no
>now i barely have any money and i'm worried about wtf im going to do when it runs out before financial aid comes through or i get a job
all i want is the sweet release of death
currently having a mental breakdown and considering ending it all.
No. 424242
>>424198i dont think thats a big deal anon
my bf and i met when he was 16 and i was 18, now i'm 20 and he's 18 and i don't notice an age difference at all. hell, he's surprisingly much more mature than i am, which is unheard of for a male lol
No. 424320
>>424312I'm not sure actually, I enjoy my friend's company so much (texting/playing games together)we don't even call each other. I looked forward to his messages all the time and missed him when he was busy. Is this the same as platonic? I haven't felt this way about other friends of mine who've I've known for way longer.
In regards to the LTR blues, I hadn't thought of that. I don't think so but maybe I've just been in denial. I'm starting to worry that maybe I don't love my bf as much as I thought I did or otherwise I wouldn't be feeling this way.
No. 424337
I'm a previous anon who was having trouble with my domineering, nasty younger uni freshman student sister. She started grating to me to the point where I can't take it anymore, ever since she's gotten back home from uni. my dad is projecting his anger onto me instead of her and threatened to turn off my phone service and restrict my wifi, specially target at me and not her, because he's too pussy to stand up to her abusive behavior. And I for one don't feel safe in that house with a bully sister who's going to physically and emotionally berate me.
I'm not in the best of straits with my mom either, she abused me for 10+ years; but I think she's a lot more medicated now than she was during my childhood and adolescence, and her attitude has become less resentful, though she is fully capable of being a bitch if she wants to, it's better than dealing with my sister rn. I'm temporarily living with her due to all that's happened and the fact that I ended up cutting my arm on some glass after one of my fights with my sister. She's going to make me go absolutely psychotic and my fathers not doing anything about it.
Aside from that, I was dealing with withdrawal symptoms that I tried best to not drive me scaling a wall… I'm bipolar, I've been forced to be off my meds because my insurance expired and was left un renewed for the longest time (my dads constantly getting laid off / rehired and never manages to retain coverage that lasts) and I need to consistently get back on a schedule, I have some leftover meds that I've been warming off of, now that I have insurance again I'm pleading I can get enough coverage to finally get prescriptions again. I also go to counseling a lot and have been keeping my psychologist therapist in the loop and she is aware of all this, and still thinks my family are being unfair to me. My sister, meanwhile, is a menace who nobody, nobody will fucking talk down. I feel like leaving is what I had to do if that environment aimed to further destroy the shambles of my mental health, they wanted no part of it. I had to emphasize that I wasn't going to take it.
I'm having a meeting with my therapist and my dad on Tuesday and am going to try explaining as calmly as I can that it feels like he's broken 5 years of trust with me by siding with my sister, and completely disregarding my mental health struggles, absence due to his job… my sisters been here for what… two months and preens herself like she owns the place? And yet she'll be gone in three. He needs to understand that nobody should be forced to abide by or adhere to anything she says, she's a fucking minor compared to the rest of us, and she probably needs medication and therapy above all else. Her severe anger issues aren't being helped by her birth control and sometimes merely nearing her makes me anxious and fearful.
No. 424344
>>424299If someone is too good of a person, it can make them lose their mystique. Love is the strongest when you don't know everything about a person, when there is uncertainty and you are allowed some imagination of what the person is really like. Your friend being attractive but worshipping the ground you walk on makes him "too perfect" and thus less interesting romantically.
There is a thrill in wondering whether a person truly desires you, and working for it to really happen, as opposed to a man already being perfect.
No. 424364
>>424338Do you think you're hiding who you truly are until you get into relationships? Or falling for guys that so the same? Most people pretend to be slightly better versions of themselves to attract others, and then are overly nice at the beginning stages, and then just disappoint each other.
Also start putting your foot down. If you're waiting around for guys that can't be bothered to dump you then you're wasting your own time.
No. 424455
>>422883Why can’t people just be happy for more dark skinned characters to cosplay and relate too?
Both sides gotta make everything so political.. it shouldn’t matter what her race is she’s a fictional character that black people can cosplay without being yelled at by neckbeards.
No. 424468
I'm not sure what my stupid lesbian brain even wants at this point.
I redownloaded the Her app recently, and I matched with someone. Surprisingly. We barely exchanged any messages besides hello before she asked if I wanted to grab a bite to eat today (I panicked, said I was working until the evening so I couldn't (not a lie) and pushed it to Monday). It makes me feel so sick and gross. My most recent relationship ended like half a year ago. I've been constantly telling myself how I want to date someone again, but now that I'm presented with a meeting with some random girl, I immediately want to go back into my hole. I know it's just to grab a bite, talk, get to know each other, not even a formal date, but I don't realized how uneasy I am about it. I don't want to deal with meeting new people, trying to map and figure each other out to see if we're remotely compatible (as people, friends, or girlfriends), trying to fill in the awkward silence. I feel so disgusted. I don't really want to be around other people, especially new people who I don't trust.
Also, even before I matched with this girl, I fucking hate shifting through all the people on this app. This app is littered with troons and genderfluid girls everywhere, and even cis men are on here! Get off this app! It's for women you disgusting fucks! And then when I think I've come across someone cute that I might want to talk to, they list themselves as poly. No, no thanks, I don't want to enter that trainwreck. No one can convince me that poly relationships are any good.
I keep thinking that I'm ready to date again, but I don't really think that I am. I just want to get over my ex, but unfortunately, everyone just sort of pales in comparison to her.
No. 424479
>>424294That's very disturbing. Your neighbors are fucked. He probably was abused like
>>424406 said.
Gail Dines was on On Point the other day. They talked about the rate of child on child sexual assault is on the rise. Likely because of cell phones.
https://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2019/06/17/children-porn-sexual-educationI may post this in the radfem thread too.
No. 424622
>>424621Do you look like an insta thot? I've never done that, but I don't look like an insta thot, though I don't think I would want that even if I did, because being any bit internet famous or like, getting attention large-scale on the internet sounds terrifying and not worth it. Being famous or well-known, for any reason, sounds super scary to me though.
25 isn't too old though. People can't even tell what your age probably is because 18 year olds are slathering so much contour and drag queen makeup on to have angular, very mature features.
No. 424628
File: 1561151913270.png (22.23 KB, 204x186, tumblr_o5v485YM1b1sx4oc5o2_250…)
>tfw you spent most of your teen years planning your suicide and not living past 30 but then after an attempt you got lots of therapy and now you're 30 and don't want to die anymore but you have no idea what you want to do in life and it feels too late to even start
No. 424632
>>424628It's never to late, you have an indefinite number of opportunities! Just check this thread
>>391065 , it's full of succesful people who achieved something even when they were old. 30 something is just the beginning, you still have (at least) another 30 years more to figure out your life! Good luck.
No. 424641
File: 1561154140673.jpeg (17.24 KB, 275x262, 1560006186895.jpeg)
My ex is now dating a try-hard hambeast and instead of making me feel better it just made me miss him.
No. 424647
File: 1561155349730.jpg (56.73 KB, 919x720, 2cJJZym.jpg)
>>424641Honestly on this note I'm a fucking loser who is emotionally attached to a man who doesn't treat me the way I deserve. I don't care about validation from other men I just miss him so much and was doing better until I found this out. I want him to come back and be my best friend again.
No. 424709
File: 1561164037845.gif (679.82 KB, 353x302, amethyst.gif)
>get added by an old friend from HS
>She's dating a dude I used to have a crush on
>He got fat is and is ugly as sin now
the world is wild
No. 424792
File: 1561192403871.jpg (19.83 KB, 447x127, whatlmao.JPG)
Every time I scroll past the anti-anime thread the folks over there are turning fucking psychotic with their hate against anime, acting like EVERY weeb ever is a disgusting pedo and all anime is about is sick fetishes and sexualizing kiddies, including the series made for children. How do you become so engrossed in loathing chinese cartoons that you have spergouts like this? Did a weeb grab a nipponese katana and behead your entire family one by one in front of you?
No. 424800
File: 1561195185289.jpeg (57.13 KB, 350x350, B99364B7-27F8-454D-B2B4-599A45…)
>>424792I don't know. As a fan of anime and manga I've kinda tried to learn to weed out the lousy crap. There's plenty of shows that aren't inherently fetishistic and sexualizing, if you scrape past the basic popularized isekai incestuous grime on the surface.
Like many genres it has its highs and lows and unfortunately what's been popularized in the last few years has fallen into the low category when it comes to the isekai boom. I will wholeheartedly say that I love Boku no Hero Academia and other things to come out of this new era, some moeblob shit, sports anime, and even Monogatari (where some of the sexualization seems more like a parody of itself than actually degenerate). There's still good anime out there if you wade through the crap. Plus the whole glorification in that thread of yaoi reeks of fujo anons leaking from their own threads. I frankly fucking hate yaoi as a sports anime fan.
Anyway I fail to see what's so harmful about anime as a whole when it has become significantly more popular in the West alongside jrpgs. I have run across plenty of people at my uni who are normal anime fans, and who favor the same anime I do. Even ten years ago, when it was a more niche thing, and I was a newbie fan, my friends who were into anime were relatively normal people. Does that mean there aren't degenerates? Of course not. Do degenerates dominants the general populace? No, not really, they're just usually the loudest of the bunch.
No. 424805
>>424792You seem super upset (again). NTA, and I don't think it all needs to be withheld from children, but as far as the whole "did a weeb ____???" thing goes (I've seen multiple farmers shit out this line, or maybe just you over and over again), yeah, unsurprisingly, people have had some terrible experiences with weebs (I've read their posts detailing their experiences in the grooming thread, and they haven't been too nice), so I'm not really sure how you think that backs up your multiple spergouts over this.
And I think the point that anon was making (though I can't be too sure) was that it has the capability to lead kids down a gross rabbithole because of the communities and stuff.
No. 424806
File: 1561195894720.jpg (43.77 KB, 956x294, clamp is pedo grooming now.jpg)
>>424800The anons in that thread seem to believe that EVERYTHING sexual is inherently degenerate and bad, especially when it comes to anime. Western shit is nothing but sexual innuendos and jokes, how the hell should anime be judged on different standards? In which universe do these anons live where "the majority" of anime is 12 year old dickgirls being raped by tentacles? Are people seriously so reserved their delicate ladybrains can't handle a pantyshot joke without going on a rampage? And how far gone do you have to be that you consider Card Captor Sakura as "pedogrooming" because Sakura is shown to have a puppy crush on her big brother's gay boyfriend?
It wouldn't bother me so much because I can always hide the thread but when they start leaking over to other threads and sperg out over trivial bullshit like pic related makes me think that they're either insane or false-flagging scrots because nobody else would be this retarded.
No. 424810
>>424806>Western shit is nothing but sexual innuendos and jokesIt's definitely not.
>In which universe do these anons live where "the majority" of anime is 12 year old dickgirls being raped by tentacles?No one ever said or suggested this.
>Are people seriously so reserved their delicate ladybrains can't handle a pantyshot joke without going on a rampageIt's more than pantyshot jokes. It's actual pantyshots, are you serious?
>It wouldn't bother me so much because I can always hide the thread but when they start leaking over to other threads and sperg out over trivial bullshit like pic related makes me think that they're either insane or false-flagging scrots because nobody else would be this retarded.Weird for you to say this when you've been dragging it to multiple threads. You, or another similarly autistic anon complained in the 'annoying' thread and are now complaining here, because you overreact and misrepresent those you disagree with in the exact same way as they did. You were also crying in the anti-anime thread. If it's not you, I'll eat my hat.
No. 424818
>>424814>relatively harmlesslmao
. imagine this is the hill you wanna die on.
No. 424822
>>424792>Did a weeb grab a nipponese katana and behead your entire family one by one in front of you?>>424800>not being able to just once post something without using a dumb anime reaction imageThanks for proving again how autistic you are.
Imagine being a grown women (at least I hope you're over 18. and female.) and thinking you need to defend animuh on the internet lol
And people do call out
degenerate western thots, all the time.
It's never guys who were exposed to too sexy artists like Shakira or Beyonce as kids, who then go on to become basement dwellers who fantasize about killing everybody, no, it's always otaku neckbeards. And what do female neets spend their time with? I don't think it's watching or listening to western shit either… The retarded are drawn to anime and anime only serves to make you even more retarded.
Topping that of with girls getting depressed because the males in the community think 2d > 3d, and then attempt to get a tiny bit of love and attention by throwing any dignity out of the window and pander to them in any way they can… and you'll get 10-year-olds making ahegao faces (only for the lulz! nothing serious about that!) and 18-year-olds "cosplaying" in nothing more than a bikini (while getting called haggard and too old by men in their 30s and 40s).
Or 1000s defending and falling in love with somebody who tried to murder another person, because "she's the ideal yandere
waifu!!!"…
Nothing good ever came out of manga or anime. It serves as a medium to depict things (without any consequences) that would be considered absolutely inappropriate in the eyes of any normal person.
No. 424847
File: 1561208649694.jpeg (45.42 KB, 441x391, BB230D63-C839-4CEB-8126-7F47DA…)
> girlfriend admits having a rape kink during facetime call
> is disgusted by it and confronts her about it
> why_are_you_attacking_me_anon.jpg
> she starts listing all the things wrong about me to make me look like the worse person in this situation, even going as far as bringing my past rape and sexual assault up and throws all the basically all the things i entrusted her with into my face
> when i tell her to stop, she just goes batshit crazy and starts yelling at me to stop being so selfish
> ends up writing a long genuine apology to her after she dramatically ends the call and i give her a normal logical reason why i do not like fetish of hers (hint: i was raped myself)
> she just leaves me on read
tfw you've been together for 4-5 years and you're really in love with her so even after a situation like this, it's really hard to leave her so you basically force yourself to ignore her extremely manipulative and lowkey abusive behavior that comes out sometimes
No. 424901
>>424891break up with her for the sake of both of ur mental health. u sound irritated by her so no point in continuing the relationship and it already sounds like she'll end up taking out things on u in the future due to her parents. you're not present (which hey for
valid reasons anon) and should be focusing on urself and all ur own shit for now I'd say. like the other anon said you're wasting each others time at this point especially when she's relying on you so much while you aren't.
No. 424911
>>424909Yeah but then what's the point? What's the point of keeping up appearances if it's exhausting? I just thought it would eventually come to me naturally and I would get to relate to others in any way. I'm also depressed because I have never fallen in love. I'm in this period when lots of acquaintances even those that swore that they would never marry and have kids are going through that right now, and that makes me feel even more of an outsider because I don't want that but I also think that there's something wrong with me. Shouldn't my biological clock tick or something? Why am I not feeling anything?
If I were living somewhere alone it would be fine. Like this, I'm just constantly reminded that there's something off with me.
sorry for the blog post
No. 424916
>>424913Living alone is on my priority list right now precisely because of that. Thanks anon, it makes me feel a little bit better knowing that I'm not alone in feeling like this.
I made a post way back wishing that there was a covenant for non religious people just wanting to study and meditate in solace, where you could occasionally talk to someone about certain topics but otherwise being alone would be the norm. I still wish that.
No. 424922
File: 1561224854508.jpg (37.17 KB, 400x400, IMG_0114.JPG)
>>424911I'm
>>424911My friends all have boyfriends and live fairly successful lives. I'm learning to accept that that's just the way my life is. I'll try to change the bad things about myself but I'm also learning to not be pressured to fit into certain standards set by people around me or my society in general.
So please be less harsh on yourself and don't try to force yourself to feel a certain way or set certain deadlines for things you must achieve or experience at a certain age.
It's easy to say that, I know. I really know how big the pressure is but all these things your friends do don't guarantee happiness either, really. Just do what feels right for yourself and stop giving fucks about what's considered "normal" for a woman.
Also, love can always come at any age.
Hope that made you feel a bit better, anon.
No. 424934
File: 1561226881307.jpg (43.04 KB, 540x361, bd3.jpg)
I went to the local grocery store and the cashier mistook me for a boy.
I have long hair, but my face is anything but feminine and my breasts are small. I was wearing a loose football (soccer) shirt that's comfy but makes me look even flatter than I already am.
No. 425049
>>424911>Shouldn't my biological clock tick or something? Why am I not feeling anything?Because it's not real and believing in it is for rubes. "Baby fever" is real, but it has nothing to do with timing, when/what is most beneficial to have a child, etc. It's just something that happens when people are exposed to kids, their friends or family members having kids, etc. Nothing to do with chronology. Having kids is like, the shittiest of all pyramid schemes though. People are always trying to "sell" you into it, but it requires that you make physical, financial, and emotional sacrifices for something that people never speak truthfully about, specifically because they're already neck-deep in their 'investments'. Ones that they're now emotionally, financially, and especially, legally, liable for. There's no way to get a feel for what a mistake it is when people have that much on the line.
No. 425093
>>425059I swear, anon sounds like they're looking to get offended kek
People called me a boy when I cosplayed Ness for Halloween. Made me feel like I was perfectly in character. Besides that, I have a feeling a lot of people assume I'm a troon at first glance but realize I'm not when I don't complain about gender.
No. 425141
File: 1561258674568.jpeg (373.91 KB, 1031x1269, 2f5eb632bf1282f84e71fe74c4389e…)
>tfw my bf tells me i'm "driving him fucking crazy" because i have mental illnesses
No. 425149
>>425143What illnesses? How long have you been together? Is he actually there for you and is just 'drained' for the moment, or is he a useless dishrag that just complains about what you're going through?
I find that the people that complain like that often are the ones who do literally nothing helpful, offer no support, and expend 0 emotional energy.
No. 425159
>>425155Are you serious? She has the mental age of a child between the ages of 6 and 9. She absolutely should be aborting, and it seems like overreach, but I absolutely support it. She can't make that decision for herself. Her mom also sounds like a wackjob to even entertain the idea and not be horrified by her child even being pregnant. Her mother won't be around forever, and it's unfair to any child to have a parent that's
that mentally disabled.
No. 425163
>>425159She's 22 weeks, she's far enough along to have already formed a strong bond with the baby and probably feels like these people are literally murdering her child. How is that better for her than letting her have it?
And where exactly is the line? What about a woman with schizophrenia or some other severe mental illness? So any woman who is deemed incapable of making wise decisions for herself should be forced to abort against her will?
No. 425179
>>425163>She's 22 weeks, she's far enough along to have already formed a strong bond with the baby and probably feels like these people are literally murdering her child. How is that better for her than letting her have it?I care more about the actual, material ramifications of her being a parent and giving birth to a child she can't care for, seeing as how she can't care for herself, than her feelings, honestly. I can almost guarantee the soon-to-be grandma is a nutcase, too. She should be pre-occupied with enough worry about her already existing disabled daughter to know that this is bonkers, rather than deluding her. Pretty exploitative on behalf of the mother, actually, to use her disabled daughter's body like this because she's pro-life. Her giving birth is obviously not in her daughter's best interest.
>And where exactly is the line? What about a woman with schizophrenia or some other severe mental illness? So any woman who is deemed incapable of making wise decisions for herself should be forced to abort against her will?She's not mentally ill, she's severely cognitively disabled. You must know the difference between the two. The child will probably be the one to suffer from this. A severely disabled person shouldn't have to worry about this, anyways.
>>425168>I don't. Either outcome is shitty, but ultimately it should be the woman deciding what happens, not the government in either direction.You don't, but let's just throw a helpless child into an already painful, complicated, and uncertain situation all because, what, the mother will be super sad if not? Do you care about the child at all, or what? This has the potential to be a frightening and painful situation for more than just the mother, and it's very unfair to prioritize only the feelings of a mother who can't even begin to take on or understand how to care for herself, let alone her child. It's really better for her to just have the abortion. The ends justify the means.
No. 425187
>>425181>Of course the two are different, but women with severe mental illness like bipolar 1 or schizophrenia are typically not capable of raising a child in a healthy environment either.Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are capable of being managed. She's not going to magically become capable. And there's a huge difference between an unhealthy environment, and having a parent that literally cannot understand or carry out necessary tasks to care for themselves and their child. Though tbh, I don't think people with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia should be having kids, but apparently they don't give a shit about the well-being of their children and how it can possibly be compromised by their illnesses, but w/e.
>Also, all your arguments against allowing the child to be birthed and put up for adoption also apply to every single kid put up for adoption. Should we just ban adoption and force anyone who can't take care of a kid to abort?If they can't find someone to adopt and care for the child, yes. Kids shouldn't be forced into a world without people that can care for them and give them what they need. Even psychologically, I'm sure that kind of thing has to do a child's head in, just knowing you were alone from day 1, and so many kids who don't have advocates or a support system face truly terrible things.
No. 425215
>>425213Nta, but see? That's the problem.
People always assume parents taking care and loving their kids = kids grow up to be entitled and dependent adultchildren, which simply is't true.
No. 425274
>>425224>"women don't have to sink to the men's level"I hate this so fucking much. I know for a fact it's said by the same retard(s) with a fujoshi obsession, too, but I don't think they're radfems. They strike me as libfems fresh off Tumblr. Their main thing they love to do is proselytize to other women, and they want to dress it up and fit in here by adding sideways shit like "Ok men bad too but you don't need to be like them!!". Notice that Tumblr is also full of fujoshi-bashing, too. Genderspecials, FtMs and other assorted women with hang-ups about womanhood getting angry about women. The argument is typically that it's "fetishizing
gay men". From what I've read, radfems don't care about that shit. Their concern is women, first and foremost, which means women's exploitation and the commodification of their bodies.
These same types will also shit on women to defend gay men with their lives, for the reasons I stated above. I realized this was a thing when the gay male bashing thread appeared (it was mostly women bashing gay men for the same reasons all other men are bashed), and then suddenly an insane self-proclaimed lesbian made a disgustingly long post shitting on women for being straight, calling them "dicklovers" or whatever the fuck, then ran to /meta/ to throw a fit about radfems and homophobia. It was horrible, and I still pray that was just an idiot transbian defending his fellow males, not a woman who pretends to love women, but will unironically go at other women's necks like an attack dog just to defend men who want to fuck other men.
No. 425278
>>425224Lolcow is a place of many ideologies.
I don't like how almost every thread on /pt/ and /snow/ is about a woman, how the threads about men don't get as nitpicked as the women ones, nor I like the "I'm a dumb bitch" meme thread on /m/.
Not everything will cater to your tastes and morals anon, don't be a baby ffs. If you don't like a thread just HIDE IT.
No. 425312
>>425303That's actually what I said about the thread before it was locked. I just noticed how fucked up it was that someone thought it was perfectly just to shit on women to WK men, and frame it as gay rights.
Like I said, it's definitely a Tumblr libfem "Gay men are holy untouchable angels, defend them with your life" mindset. Just internalized misogyny on full blast.
No. 425328
File: 1561294626597.jpg (73.91 KB, 630x630, Cat1.jpg)
I had this guy friend that I used only to vent, he knew it and was completely cool with it that he even encourages at times (creepy I know), and he knows that I'm already in a relationship because I vent about my s.o. being closed off sometimes.
This dude who is also still in high school and is the type of boys who likes to collect as many females as possible and I straight up told him he has no chance for endless reasons but he confuses me, he talks about how no one wants to date his ass but then he is always in a relationship but doesn't want to admit it.
I had encountered men like him before but he is so stubborn, I told him about gross stuff about me, I sent him photos of my leg hair and other stuff that would turn off most men but he insists on being so flirty also sending me occasional 'I miss you' every once in a while, I tell him that I've been with this man for two years and I'm not leaving him any time soon… he is just horny it is freaking me out, finally I blocked him and it was a relief.
That was two months ago, today I woke up and found a 'I miss you' message on my discord that I forgot I gave him.
I'm blocking him there too, I just hate men sometimes, feeling entitled or acting like they care while having a bunch of other ladies who they treat the same, -men- like him just see a female as a collectible and my lord they want to collect them all.
PS: He isn't even my type and he knows even that.
PPS: He also used to try to send a dick pic all the time, luckily he was polite enough to ask first.
No. 425344
>>425328you are friends with a big slut
and you still surprised he's a degenerate?
No. 425374
>>423139This is so late but I feel it so hard.
I’m so sorry anon. It’s the most insane final thing. Like…. there’s a higher chance I’ll become president than my best friend coming back to life. How FUCKED is that? Literally, statistically, it’s more likely I’ll win the lottery or go to space. It makes me so sad, and it goes on forever.
It gets better. But I NEVER LEAVES. It never stops hurting. I think maybe I just cope worse than others, but I suspect maybe not? And they just hide it? Idk. I’m just sorry and please know you’re not suffering alone.
No. 425378
File: 1561307106186.png (277.39 KB, 1304x704, griefobserved.png)
>>423139>>425374I am so sorry for your loss anons <3
it never leaves. I feel like I'm still in shock, like something cracked.
you're not alone. I just hope it gets easier for you.
CS Lewis wrote A Grief Observed and I read it when I lost my dad, it helped somewhat. nothing but time helps, and that's only with digesting the loss.
take care of your hearts anons, I'm so sorry you're suffering like this. there really is nothing worse.
No. 425418
>>425328Same anon here.
Turned out that had he sent me the same message on every social media platform that I didn't block him on.
>>425344 You're right, I should've seen that coming but I didn't.
>>425360 He started talking to me and I thought he just wanted to be friends, I have absolutely no interest in younger guys (regardless of legality). I was talking as in literally talking and nothing more.
Also, please don't forget that I'm in a relationship already and I'm not the type to cheat.
I've run out of smart answers to use since I've tried them all before and blocking him doesn't seem to stop him, I will just ignore him from now on.
No. 425432
>>425249>I think the radfem and GC crowd has also attracted an actual conservative woman crowd. It's the only explanation for the homophobia.I think there might be something to this. There's also been a lot more pro life spergs around recently, as well as some unironic anti-jewish conspiracy talk.
>>425278>I don't like how almost every thread on /pt/ and /snow/ is about a woman, how the threads about men don't get as nitpicked as the women ones,I agree, but I think if there was more of an emphasis on men on those boards, it would attract male posters. No offence to kiwifarms, they're pretty great at collecting receipts on dodgy people, but I don't want kiwis migrating over here and fucking with the vibe.
No. 425458
>>425445Had a similar issue, I got over it by the years, one of the things that helped a lot was seeing professionalists and talking with them on the things that were bothering me, I saw a dermatologist and a plastic surgeon and it helped me a bunch, I fixed some insecurities and discovered that some are just in my head.
Other quick tips:
>Try expressing yourself through painting, writing, singing…etc, maybe have a journal and write how you feel about certain things.>Relying on a support group isn't always helpful from my experience, it just worsens matters.>Try to be vocal about it, you might feel annoying but it does help.>Do not suppress your feelings a lot, it's okay to let yourself feel sometimes.>Try to get used to the way you look by always keeping a mirror by your side so you can get a sense of self.>Get into fashion and find just the style that compliments you best, I'm certain you're not that bad you just didn't find what fits you yet.>Expand your dictionary of what's beautiful and what's not, know that they are so many different shapes and they're all beautiful in their own right so don't limit yourself by trying to fit in one ideal of beauty.>>Make an image board of photos of people who are beautiful but do not fit in the standards of beauty.>Be kind to yourself, you're not as horrid as you believe to so just forgive yourself sometimes.>Listen to people talking about their experience with it, you might feel better by knowing that you're not alone, Ted Talks isn't that bad.>Maybe just look at lolcows who photoshop the fuck out of themselves proves they're not pleased with how they look either.>Try cutting food/people/habits that would make you feel anxious. Wish I can help but that's all I got, please do feel better soon xx
No. 425465
File: 1561330291390.jpg (15.5 KB, 593x242, zuxv82mi26331.jpg)
My best friend is a TIF. I was okay with it and gave 'him' all my support when he came out. We've both always been GNC and I always thought we were just a pair of dykes. Out of the blue he's been getting annoyed with me, not wanting to talk to me, giving me attitude etc. When I finally cornered him, he told me that he hates how girly I am/have become and that it annoys him. He said he doesn't trust women anymore. How the fuck do I respond to something so obviously misogynistic? How does one fall this far from being a cool GNC woman to being a misogynist 'man'?
No. 425475
File: 1561332986421.jpeg (31.9 KB, 407x354, A0571F30-38BA-43FF-85CE-768444…)
I'm so fucking sensitive lately and it sucks. I have bpd and I suck at emotion regulation and not assuming the worst. My bf keeps snapping at me for it but like, we'll be in a gc and there's issues I have with it and I KNOW I repeat myself on it but it never gets fixed and it's making me feel uncomfortable being in the chat (with people I'm paying over 500 to visit ffs)
I just wanna cry because my bf is in a horrid mood and is snapping at me constantly, I can't take being snapped at, like for example he was mumbling about how he wanted a drink and wanted me to buy him one but I didn't hear him bc mumbling, but he got mad and was convinced I didn't hear him because I was on my phone, which I was but it was because he was mumbling, I was checking the time?? And just shit like that. It makes me feel so stupid.
No. 425479
>>425475I would suggest taking some time off from each other, would be hard if you live together but try to not engage with one another for a while.
Talk about it with him though and let him know that you're doing it for the sake of your relationship, he will be thankful.
Good luck, xx
No. 425490
>>425378As much as I’m sad you’re hurting too, it’s nice to know I’m not just ‘broken’ and others feel the same. Reading things like you posted did help me; it still does.
I’m ok now, but it’s always a low hum. Getting older terrifies me because I’ll inevitably keep losing more people; and I’m scared the low hum will become loud and blaring and constant. I hope that’s not the case.
“She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.”
No. 425491
File: 1561336855344.jpg (149.11 KB, 800x800, ap_090911089838_.jpg)
>>425475I hope you feel better anon!
No. 425607
>>425602Be safe. If he has to pay for it, he is defective in some way and/or is devient or degenerate.
Please girl be careful.
No. 425648
>>425634It depends on the household values, anon. Personally my mother let NO men (or other women) see me naked ever, and also never left me alone with adult men. Even into my early teens she was protective of me and wouldn't let me go anywhere too private with my friends or let me run wild. She has a past of familial abuse though which makes her very wary (even to this day when I'm 22).
Some people just don't care about their children. And men do get stupidly offended by shit like women being on guard around them at night or not having full access to all kids. I have no idea why. Even as a woman, for example, if someone didn't want me to interact with their children I'd understand. Kids need to be protected at all costs despite anyone's ego.
No. 425653
>>425634the absolute dehumanization of men in this post is seriously impressive.
i grew up in a really "clothed" environment. like, i still get a bit uncomfortable seeing my brother's bare legs in shorts lol. so the idea of other people seeing my child's naked body doesn't sit right with me. i think i'm just really closed minded in this regard, compared to other people.
No. 425654
>>425634I guess I'm a western degenerate because I wouldn't mind a close male family member helping my child wash her/himself, but he should definitely tell me first and not just disappear with the kid and letting me find him with my child buttnaked. But I still thinks it's the mom prerogative and if she doesn't want any men involved in her kids shower time people should just fuck off and obey.
I had a lot of males figures around me when I was a kid and me and my cousins spent a lot of time completely naked as kids, so I'm not really bothered by nudity, I guess I'm a bit naive cause I just think childs are lucky to be able to walk around naked sometimes, I don't even think about the perverted males who enjoy it.
No. 425656
File: 1561384295934.jpg (35.18 KB, 802x523, Dw3C4OyWoAAihxq.jpg)
>>425653>i still get a bit uncomfortable seeing my brother's bare legs in shorts lol"lol"… How do you live?
And the post you replied to is likely bait.
No. 425684
>>425656well, tbf he also has really,
really hairy legs so it's just gross to look at. I live by feeling slightly repulsed every time I see more skin on a man than you'd see on a standard t shirt and cargo shorts outfit, I guess. I used to be a lot worse though. now it's more like kiiinda gross in the way you see the occasional nasty shit in someone's teeth or nose? gross but doesn't affect your interactions with them
No. 425837
>>425828Just keep thinking about how fucked she’s going to be when mommy and daddy can’t coddle her anymore.
Or how she’ll never truly gain independence
No. 425839
File: 1561412835378.jpg (24.64 KB, 506x960, 1495743124317.jpg)
I exposed my narc mom's abuse towards me on facebook hoping to get support, and it was actually very well-received. A lot of my friends reached out to me to offer help. Probably the most I've ever seen in my entire life.
I made sure to block most family members from seeing the post, especially mom's flying monkies like my cousins. I knew they'd never be supportive of me and would stan her hard. They've always treated me like a black sheep for one. Secondly, they have sucked up to my mom in order to gain material things and money so they're super into currying her favor. They never catch her nasty side so they don't give a fuck on how she treats me when no one's around, they don't live with her or deal with her anyway. They don't mind throwing me under the bus if it means they'll reach golden status with her.
One cousin in particular, K, is a master manipulator and drained my granddad before he died. Mom has always treated K peachy sweet, even when she knew how much she took advantage of granddad. Mom is even funding a huge portion of K's wedding that I wasn't invited into (not that I'm mad about that). I accidentally forgot to block K's sister from seeing the post though. It was easy to forget because I only see her once every few years and she never interacts with me. So she must've shown K who was blocked.
K sent me an aggressive text message, stopping none short of sucking the fluids from mom's vacuous cunt.
>omg anon im shocked youd say that abut ur mom shes a good person who has been good to you she needs you like are you for real? ur insane u know you could have come to me instead ive got ur back i cant believe you w that post shes blood and shes always had ur back maybe not in the way you wanted her to be shes gonna be so upset when she sees this you know its hard living w my dad but you talk it out and move on im so shocked
I was with friends at the time or I think I would've called this ballsy bitch. Luckily it's a good thing I was with people because it forced me to calm down and send a polite text after mulling on it a bit.
Main rebuttals were 1. Mom is blocked so if she "sees the post" I'll know K is the drama stirring snitch who evidently doesn't "have my back." 2. Shame and ignorance on K for being more "shocked" about being matter of fact over mom's abuse towards me than the fact of how I'm fucking homeless and in a bad position because of her emotional instability. 3. I didn't go to K to talk about it first because she's the type of asshole to try to convince a victim that their abuser is a "good" person and obviously I wasn't going to receive the support I needed from her clueless ass. 4. Her dad is NOT an abuser and she's an idiot to compare a common family squabble to my situation. 5. Gee thanks K, never thought about "talking it out" before with this crazed narcissist before, you're soooooooooo smart and I'm just a dumb dumb.
I'm being a lot more shrewd typing it out here but the reality was I was being meek and trying to keep the peace in my texts back to her.
I pathetically wrapped it off with a "Thank you and I appreciate your good intentions." Fuck that, I'm so frustrated that I let that spoiled twat shit all over me. I wish life had a redo button. She didn't deserve my calm after sending me that horseshit.
No. 425850
File: 1561413406742.jpg (90.97 KB, 781x768, Fashion, look it up.jpg)
>Boyfriend is an artist
>I do art too (as a hobby)
>Boyfriend watches porn, never been a secret, I'm okay with it
>Boyfriend is great and always tries to please me whenever, so no complains
My problem is the nude ladies that he draws, they do have similar body type as I do but they kinda resemble porn stars at times which bugs me a bunch although it is honestly nothing and I get inspired by fit boys on Instagram all the time.
Hate how it still bugs me, jealousy much?
No. 425853
>>425841I figured as much but if it makes mom give me a permanent silent treatment for the rest of my life, then mission accomplished as far as I'm concerned. It's just proof positive that my cousins were always the slimey, untrustworthy shits I knew them to be. K can have fun wiping mom's shitty demanding butt for that inheritance money.
I no longer live with mom. I packed my shit and left spur of the moment from her last
abusive outburst at me. I couldn't take it anymore.
My only concern is that I had to leave my pet behind temporarily until I get a new apartment. She's not a bunny boiler, but I will need to stop back to feed and change water and I'm dreading at the prospect of having to see her ass. Maybe I'll sneak in at night.
No. 425862
>>425817Have you considered signing up for dating websites?
>>425850From the way you describe the situation it doesn't seem unusual that your boyfriend would draw pornstar bodies if that is a media he regularly consumes. It is only natural for you to feel jealous about it Anon, but have you brought this up with him?
No. 425866
>>425862Yes, quite a few time actually and he would laugh it off saying that I don't have to be jealous of drawings/photos and that I shouldn't feel the need to compare myself to every female ever.
Sounds about right, I just need to fix my jealousy issues which I fear come from the trust issues (with everyone).
No. 425876
>>425873I don't sound like I'm defending him but he does care and tried to be understanding, he has even drawn only males for a while. and I'm bothered that they look like porn stars sometimes*
*he tries to draw different body shapes all the time but often they end up looking like a prostitute.
I don't want to be a whiny bitch about drawings but I can't help but feel jealous sometimes.
No. 425878
>>425877your friend is a brat anon, maybe have friends from a working-class family so you can feel less of a failure.
I hate those spolied twats too if that's any relief, but she claiming to be struggling financially just as you do is outlandish… tell her that this is not a competition, she needs to chill her arse down.
Bet if you were talking about how rich you're she would do just the same.
No. 425882
>>425879girl you need to masturbate a lot, you got a lot of self-exploration ahead of you.
try everything you can think of heck, even do some research if necessary.
here are some things I can think of off the back of my head:
-as I said, masturbate
-fingering won't do much and is generally harder, try playing around your clit, lips (labia minora), and nipples.
-fantasise before you masturbate
-warm up by doing lots of foreplay
-chill
-if he is that clueless maybe let him watch some porn? although porn is kinky and never sensual
-again, masturbate and find out where that clit is
No. 425885
>>425866From what you are saying it does seem to be more your jealousy that is the issue rather than your boyfriend. I 100% understand why this has become a jealousy issue for you, but I want you to remember that they are only drawings. Artists naturally want to draw what they feel is the ideal human figure. Both my boyfriend and I draw people, and the women he draws clearly show what he prefers. I don't have quite that body shape, but that is because I am a normal human that does not use my body to make a living (porn, etc.)
Your boyfriend loves you and you said yourself that he is a great guy that takes care of your needs. You just need to remember that and what a great thing you have when you feel your jealousy rising over some lines on paper.
No. 425887
>>425866>I just need to fix my jealousy issues which I fear come from the trust issues (with everyone).This is silliness. You're jealous because you care about your boyfriend and don't want to lose him, obviously. It's a meme that jealousy is psychologically unhealthy. An example of unhealthy jealousy is how men assault innocent people over that jealousy. He watches girls on screen that he imagines fucking, then later draws them. How is that not concerning? It rightfully making you a little concerned and sad is not unhealthy.
Your boyfriend sounds scuzzy and imo, you're settling hard, because it clearly does bother you.
No. 425889
>>425882Excellent advice right there!
My recommendations:
-Mastrubate.
-Search for porn that is tagged as 'female friendly' for professionally made porn videos where the woman is (usually) treated with respect and care, and you can easily see what is going on.
-Mastrubate.
-Mastrubate.
-Stop trying to push the blame onto your boyfriend.
-Stop thinking about cheating on your boyfriend. Seriously what is wrong with you? Be faithful or break up with him like an adult. Shit or get off the pot.
-Get better friends.
-Mastrubate.
>>425887Boy we sure have completely opposite opinions on the situation. I wonder which one of us Anon will agree with.
No. 425891
>>425885>>425887WOW just wow, two polar opposites.
>>425885 Thanks, this was a relief.
>>425887 I value you your opinion but as I said, I'm okay with him watching porn, thanks anyways <3
No. 425898
>>425879>>425893True! maybe try messaging, candles, oils… whatever gets you in the mood, it's alright for it to take long so schedule it ahead of time, do some research on women's arousal.
From what I know women are more into talking and teasing than the intercourse itself, let yourself feel sexy (when you masturbate) and don't push for that orgasm to come it's okay to not reach it, try to not suppress yourself by holding back moans or anything in that nature.
As every other anon said, you can't expect him to do it if you yourself can't.
When you finally become natural around it -which will take time- try to make him give you an oral first.
No. 425901
>>425894Pardon me but how do you masturbate often?
It's probably the porn that makes you feel ashamed, and I honestly wouldn't recommend masturbating to porn if you haven't discovered yourself yet.
Also, do you know how do you look like down there? you should try that if you haven't already
No. 425917
>>425899Ok I'm not going to say what I really wanted to in reply to that and this will be my last response before leaving this conversation.
It seems to me like you have a lot of issues to deal with, and one of them is your view on relationships and apparent lack of respect for your partner. Just the fact that you are entertaining the thought of cheating on your partner because he can't satisfy you sexually, when you yourself don't know what the fuck you like in bed, is asinine.
You are both virgins and it is your responsibility to know what your body needs in order to be satisfied sexually. Your boyfriend does not have a clitoris or a vagina. The only way he learns is when he is with you, and you can't provide him with the guidance he needs.
I think you are immature and choosing the easy way out (cheating) because you can't be bothered to deal with your issues.
Listen to people's advice here and start somewhere.
And make a decision. If you want to sleep around show some respect to your boyfriend and break up with him first. And don't be surprised when you've gone for a ride but never reached your destination/orgasm with other guys. Because surprise surprise, if you don't know what you need, Jim Tom and Larry sure as hell won't either.
You frustrate me, Anon. Goodbye.
No. 425923
File: 1561422260744.png (39.49 KB, 780x267, Capture2.PNG)
>>425913Many women think that they've never reached an orgasm for they don't know what an orgasm should feel like, an orgasm could be just feeling relaxed or a sigh, it doesn't have to be something magical.
No. 425929
File: 1561423079315.jpg (26.75 KB, 300x300, 1520763804174.jpg)
I sent my boyfriend some really pretty translated lyrics from a song I really liked.
He made fun of them and mocked them and basically, not in exact words, said they were shitty lyrics.
…All while I am in an extremely stressed and unwell state.
No. 425934
>>425929>>425933To send him it and to laugh at it are both unmatured actions, they fit for each other.
and babe he hates the song not you, you can appreciate his honesty at least.
No. 425935
>>425933>>425934I wasn't explaining my feelings with them, I was sending him pretty lyrics because we like to send each other lyrics a lot.
They cheer me up and make me happy, they weren't sad lyrics.
He knows I was in a bad state due to my physical health and he chose to laugh in my face.
No. 425936
>>425933>>425934Wow, you guys saw that someone felt like shit in addition to her boyfriend being mean to her and your reaction is be cunts yourselves. Classy.
>>425929Don't listen to them, anon. It was rude of him to do that when it's something you like. I hope you feel better soon and he apologizes like he should.
No. 425938
>>425928he draws literal nudes though?
clothed characters and nude ones(that arent figure studies) are two very different things, its pretty natural for someone to be suspicious of someone that just draws porn 24/7
No. 425940
>>425936Thank you.
I told him I was uncomfortable with him saying that and he raged at me saying I don't care about his feelings instead of apologizing.
No. 425941
>>425940I wish I can tell you to dumb him like a 2019 woman but I don't want to ruin a good thing based off one event.
It wasn't very nice of him but we don't know the whole dynamic of the relationship so I like to avoid causing more drama.
No. 425942
>>425941This happens every single night. We fight like crazy and he tells me how little I care about his feelings and snaps at me because I have a lot of mental health issues and get mood swings (That I never take out on him, I just tell him my honest feelings)
I'm terrified of him at this point. It feels like I'm walking on eggshells when I talk to him. Every little mistake I make gets him screaming his head off at me. Every little mistake he makes just makes me a little sad and I tell him it made me a little sad, then he screams about how terrible of a person he is.
I'm in hell.
No. 425943
>>425942oh wow anon that sounds terrible
i mean based off of what you're saying it sounds like it'd be better for your mental health to leave him. being scared all the time in a relationship isn't normal or okay.
No. 425944
>>425942I hate men like that, it is not good for you to stay.
but if you don't want to leave him for good maybe take a little break?
No. 425948
>>425929He was probably just making light fun of you for like a dumb song. Its no big deal.
If it was some weeby anime character song, then TBH the lyrics probably were stupid.
No. 425949
>>425938anon said them being nude isn't the issue, more so the fact some of them look like porn stars.
>>425850you're okay with your bf watching porn which is fine, but drawing crosses the line? i really don't understand this.
as if drawing lines on a paper is more intimate than cumming to strangers
is he drawing them for the purpose of studying,or is it just for fun? if its the latter that's kind of weird imo
if you haven't already, you should ask him why he prefers to draw nude than clothed. you'll be able to tell by his response if you should be worried or not
No. 425950
>>425943I love him to death and I think my mental health would be even worse without him. If I didn't love this man to pieces I would've left him long, long ago, and if he didn't love me to pieces he would have left long, long ago. We have promise rings and everything. It hurts because I want our relationship to last but I hate that every single day has a problem where, in the end, I get yelled at and blamed for it even when he's the one who started it.
>>425944He'd be so devastated over that. I could never, and I don't want to… perhaps it's a fucked up situation.
>>425945It isn't fair at all. He said he felt "irritated" so he felt like being a smart-ass about the song.
>>425946Something he always says is "I care about you soo much and you don't care about me" or something like that. And when I get furious and accuse him that doesn't care about me, he gets angry and yells enough that I submit to him and apologize for, as always, being in the wrong. Yet he's always allowed to say how much I don't care about him.
>>425948It was a very beautiful, emotional song. It wasn't really light fun, he was straight up extremely critical and sarcastic about it.
It wasn't some retarded weeby anime character song at all, and even then he's never criticized me so harshly in the past.
He didn't even listen to the song when I sent it to him, so he didn't know what it sounded like.
No. 425957
>>425949I'm not sure about that since I draw more nudes and straight up porn than he does, I've been doing it for longer too.
He does it for both? which is fine and I can't see why it is not fine unless you weren't into art, but they're pretty tame, to say the least.
The porn I asked him to keep private since I don't wanna hear about what he jacks off to (BTW watching porn IS okay by me, don't push your ideologies on me pls), but he likes to show me what he doodled and it makes me speculate as you guys did but I'm over that stage and -again- we talked about it, I wanted to vent about feeling jealous still even though I know how this shouldn't be concerning me.
If anyone here is dating an artist who draws humans often should say that same and frankly, anons who had opinions I could agree on were in a relationship with an artist themselves!
I'm not seeking an ideal prince charming who would only look at me since that isn't realistic, and to be fair most of his drawings look like me in a way or another.
Perhaps venting and hearing from different views can finally get over it, thanks guys, xoxo
No. 425986
>>425984After reading the other comments, I have to agree with the Anon who questioned why you are ok with him watching porn but not drawing characters inspired by the porn? Is it because those actresses creeping into the art suggests he is thinking about them outside of the time spent watching the videos, and perhaps you are worried he thinks about these actresses when he is interacting sexually with you?
Unfortunately you can't police his brain, but drawing porn actresses in his art absolutely suggests that they are infringing upon his daily life/he thinks about them outside of the actual porn use. There is no real solution to that unless he decides to stop being so reliant on porn/drops porn as a hobby.
No. 426015
>>425773Thanks!
I've been applying mainly for a job in retail and waitressing and I am working with a temp agencies, they help me stay afloat and feed myself, but of course what I want is a real job with a permanent contract so I can start planing for the future.
No. 426032
>>425155you guys are against this, but will start screaming and crying about eugenics if it's decided she should be put on contraceptives at all times to prevent this from ever happening
i don't care what anyone says, all very disabled and deformed people absolutely should be blocked from getting pregnant or impregnating others. in fact, the whole fucking population should be. all men should be required to get vasectomies and have to fill a special form for them to reproduce, that also has to be signed by the woman he wants to have sex with so they're both accepting responsibility for any and all pregnancies
No. 426037
>>426032Gotta be honest, I’m completely for eugenics when it comes to severe hereditary disabilities and diseases - the world gains absolutely nothing by continuing these gene lines. Nature would’ve taken care of this earlier on but now with modern medicine absolutely everyone has a fighting chance at life (not saying this as neither a positive nor negative, just stating a fact)
But of course then you have the slipper slope of these powers being abused and mildly inconvenient/undesired traits beginning to be weeded out.
No. 426059
>>426033Depending on drugs or booze is only a temporary crutch, it might make it feel better for a moment but because you're just running from it, you're never going to learn to cope with your reality, but you will need to keep using more and more and more to reach the same level of escapism that you feel at the start. It'll wreck your health and looks, in the case of hard drugs you might die, and it'll drain your finances.
In the long run you are better to focus on things that help you come to terms with this or equip you to escape the situation better. A friend of counselor can coach you through bad times, an engaging sport or exercise will help you to escape your thoughts whilst benefitting your body, focusing on career stuff can help you gain the money to physically escape situations.
If you are going to do drugs, stick to weed and try to find people to some socially with. I think you should avoid hard drugs altogether, the people who get into them with the intention to escape instead of just wanting to enjoy themselves always end up the worst.
No. 426060
>>426033Depending on drugs or booze is only a temporary crutch, it might make it feel better for a moment but because you're just running from it, you're never going to learn to cope with your reality, but you will need to keep using more and more and more to reach the same level of escapism that you feel at the start. It'll wreck your health and looks, in the case of hard drugs you might die, and it'll drain your finances.
In the long run you are better to focus on things that help you come to terms with this or equip you to escape the situation better. A friend of counselor can coach you through bad times, an engaging sport or exercise will help you to escape your thoughts whilst benefitting your body, focusing on career stuff can help you gain the money to physically escape situations.
If you are going to do drugs, stick to weed and try to find people to some socially with. I think you should avoid hard drugs altogether, the people who get into them with the intention to escape instead of just wanting to enjoy themselves always end up the worst.
No. 426066
File: 1561458696454.gif (1.36 MB, 300x204, 1559098955178.gif)
I wanted to go shopping today and my periods literally just started. So instead I'm agonizing at home. No way I'm shopping online, I won't control myself and buy useless crap that won't even fit me and forget to return anything if I do. Fuck this shit.
No. 426099
>>425908It's a dead dog from like what 10 years ago? This because your mother's now EX partner killed it. So you're upset over two things that aren't in your life anymore and the fact that your mother spared you the brutal truth because you were a 12 year old.
Get a grip and grow up you loser.
No. 426105
i'm afraid i'll relapse and going overboard with restricting. i've had an eating disorder since i was 15 (i'm now 23) which has mainly consisted of binge eating, purging and restricting. my teenage years, and early 20s, were very rough and i used the binge eating as a stress reliever. i haven't purged since my late teens, but have been yo-yoing between binge eating and restricting for the last three years.
i have been going to therapy for years, and it has helped a lot. i feel like i'm better at dealing with my emotional issues and don't have to resort to binging anymore. i'm currently a size 38, but want to go down to a size 36. i recently got a gym membership and have started focusing on eating healthy. but i feel like i'll probably go overboard at some point. i have stopped counting calories, but a part of me wants to start. ugh.
>>426099>>426100calm down. her mom dated a guy who was unstable enough to kill her daughter's beloved dog. anon has the right to feel betrayed and angered, even though her mom softened the blow by covering it up it's still fucked up.
No. 426110
>>425908killing a dog doesn't make some one a psychopath
My Uncle had a dog who he loved with all his heart but one day his daughter started playing with the dog in wa he didn't like and the dog got mad and he bit her(luckily she never suffered any permanent damage)
when his daughter was in the Hospital he wasted no time and killed the dog
His daughter cried for days and days because she loved the dog as well but thats what he had do
No. 426124
>>426115Shooting a dog to put it down is humane. Big gun + tiny skull = as quick and painless as possible
But yeah, it's also psychotic if there's no good reason for doing so. We've only done it with ours when they were old and sick and in unrelenting misery.
No. 426127
>>426124>Shooting a dog to put it down is humane. Big gun + tiny skull = as quick and painless as possibleWhy do you people own pets? How do you weirdos think this is normal and where the fuck do you live? Are all of you in rural Bulgaria or Olathe, Kansas in 1926? Who the fuck does this anymore?
Why are you defending shooting animals when there are more controlled, less messy, and less generally sociopathic ways to put a pet down? And you can absolutely cause the animal to suffer.
No. 426128
>>426033weed being a cure-all meme needs to die fast. its retarded.
try some therapy or hobbies that keep you busy or feeling accomplished. see a psych maybe you could benefit from a low dose ssri or something.
No. 426132
>>426118NTA but they said nothing about the girl being alone with the dog or playing with it in a stupid way. What is it with dogfags and always blaming the child for getting attacked? My parents had a sketchy AF dog they adopted as an adult that one day went from licking my face to immediately biting it (not to turn anyone off adult rescues, their other adult rescue is an angel). Luckily, she didn't do it hard enough to break skin, but hard enough to hurt a lot and scare the shit out of me. That dog lunged at my 8yo cousin one Christmas too, but my step dad grabbed her by the collar before she could get to her. All the kid did was pick up a gift and it freaked the dog out for some reason. We had to have a strict "no kids on the property" rule after that. Honestly, I feel extremely lucky we made it through the rest of that dog's life without her seriously harming someone.
Sorry for the blog, but the point is that it's not always someone's fault when a dog randomly bites them and I'm so sick of dogfags using this narrative literally any time someone mentions a child getting attacked.
No. 426136
>>426132>but one day his daughter started playing with the dog in wa he didn't like and the dog got mad and he bit herI am a resident 'dog hater' but children don't respect animals at all. She said she was playing with it in a way it didn't like (as children often do, because they don't pick up on social cues from most animals). Children shouldn't be allowed around dogs for the safety of the dogs. It's unfair to them, and is dangerous for the kids.
>>426131She obv did something dumb to the dog. How about people not own dogs if you have children? It's not the dog's fault when children are repeatedly crossing their boundaries, and I don't even like dogs. Just don't get a fucking dog if you want a child, too. Simple as. It's not hard. You put the safety of both of them on the line when you insist on having both.
No. 426143
>>426139>>426139I've unfortunately had to put down numerous pets and not once have I seen them writhing in pain or anxiety. You're delusional if you think mistakes are common at all. There's hardly any information about botched euthanasia in animals. You're majorly overblowing something that already hardly happens. And how the fuck do you live in a place so rural that the nearest vet is 4 hours away? Where's the closest hospital? Are you tilling land most of the day?
>>426140this has to be a male, i refuse to believe this influx of pituitary retards isn't a raid
No. 426149
>>426146What are are you talking about, icy liquid? Pentobarbital is a literal anticonvulsant and they sedate the animal beforehand, even though pentobarbital sedates them too. Have you even ever put an animal down before? You sound like you have literally no idea what you're talking about. I feel like you're just talking about botched human executions and applying it to pets.
>>426147Ik, ty, it's gonna be a rough one
No. 426150
>>426143>not once have I seen them writhing in pain or anxiety.That's the horrifying part. You'll rarely ever see them actually writhe in pain because they paralyze them first. But then just because they can't express their pain that doesn't mean they're not experiencing pain. Imagining freaking the fuck out not being able to breathe or move while your loved ones just smile at you. The process is not designed to reduce the suffering of animals, it's designed to reduce the suffering of humans.
>And how the fuck do you live in a place so rural that the nearest vet is 4 hours away? Where's the closest hospital? Are you tilling land most of the day?It's a pretty big country. The nearest hospital is in the same town, but there's a flying doctor service to deliver patients faster.
No. 426152
>>426150>You'll rarely ever see them actually writhe in pain because they paralyze them first. But then just because they can't express their pain that doesn't mean they're not experiencing pain.What the fuck are you talking about? For the tenth time, they're sedated beforehand, and you're literally just assuming pentobarbital is painful when it's the gold standard with very little to nil evidence of what you're claiming. Now you're assuming pets are frequently experiencing locked-in-states or something where they're actually fully conscious despite being both sedated, then given large doses of barbituates? Again, I feel like you're conflating the insane (often expired) and already
toxic and poorly planned cocktails people are injected with in the US and pentobarbital and sedatives used in pets. They're not the same at all. You've never put a pet down and you just really want to shoot your pets in the head or something. You're weird as fuck.
No. 426157
>>426155Fuck, anon thanks for saying this. Blaming children instead of supervising adults (be it the owner or the parent) is crazy any way one puts it. The blame goes adult humans>dog>child.
Dog owners all think their particular animal is an exception to every rule and oh so well-behaved when they're extremely stupid creatures that are cute and affectionate, but also can be frightened or set off in other ways to unpredictable things. People completely misunderstand the level of intelligence animals outside our species posses, which is to say pretty much no intelligence in comparison to us. Even well-trained dogs have off moments and to think your barely-able-to-keep-pace-when-walking dog who won't reliably "sit" is stimulant-proof enough to be around small children constantly and go off leash in every area… Ugh.
No. 426166
File: 1561477251059.jpg (82.02 KB, 614x768, e7ld4g6cchy11.jpg)
Today is one of those days where I just want to give up on everything. Quit my job, quit my classes, I even want to quit the games I play. I just want to lay on the ground, be homeless or something, and not have any obligations or responsibilities. Life is so hard sometimes and I feel like nothing I do matters. Any progress I make is so incredibly slow towards my goals. What's the point, you know? Why are we here? Just to suffer. I just want to fade into non-existence.
No. 426175
File: 1561479409106.gif (975.45 KB, 500x281, tumblr_me2m05szLQ1.gif)
>>426166Hang in there, anon!! I am job hunting all week. my boss was transferred and we got a hell beast who has made my work life a living hell. i'm exhausted. we can hang in there, get a better position. homelessness aint fun. i just want more times for gaming though. ugh..
No. 426198
>>425879>Male friends encouraging you to cheatSounds like they want to hook up with you, selfish dick thinkers.
Your boyfriend sounds inexperienced and just lacks confidence which is great if you teach him how you want him to please you. I'm honestly jealous because it sounds like you are on the road to have some great sex since you and him are actually trying to learn each others bodies. Most guys I end up with don't even try to please me. Hell I would accept an attempt of them trying to sexually please me if its just to boost their egos right in front of me. But you got to learn what your body wants, your boyfriend isn't going to magically know something that you do not. Time to self explore with masturbation anon.
No. 426219
I wish I could talk to my husband about my mental health. It feels so bad to keep it bottled up. Whenever he has a bad day, or is having negative thoughts, I focus solely on him. Make him his favorite food, let him watch movies and play games while he drinks and talks about his feelings, providing a shoulder to cry on and a lot of hugs. He always says he feels better afterwards and that he doesn't deserve me, but he does, but it just makes me feel so alone because I suffer as well.
Sometimes I cry for no reason, and instead of talking me through it or comforting me, he stops responding to me because he retreats into his own head. On multiple occasions he's gone into another room without a word. I have to swallow my feelings and comfort him instead because my sadness made him think about trouble at work or something. Every time I want to talk about my inadequacies, he turns it on himself. I slept on the couch once so that he didn't have to deal with me crying all night after telling him my repeating thoughts about how I would die, and the next day he checked himself into the emergency room with a plan to kill himself very similar to the one I described to him. I held his hand and comforted him through the whole ordeal, and he kept saying how glad he was that he didn't have to go through this alone.
I can't get support from him, and even worse, I have to watch what I say around him because he turns my intrusive thoughts into his own. I can't tell him about the memories of my mom beating me, and I have to push through the feelings of disgust when he touches me because it reminds me of gross childhood stuff. It's getting worse too, because I've been honest with him a few times about sadness, so every time he thinks I'm getting sad now, he stops responding to me, so I have to fake being happy and enthusiastic until he perks back up.
So a month of deciding that I lie to him about my depression, and here I am, looking at him with a smile thinking "I am worthless. I want to die. I want to fucking die." and here he is, hugging me and saying "I love you". He hugs me to make himself feel better. He says I love you because he loves the space that I occupy as a wife and caretaker. God forbid I'm unhappy in this space, or unhappy as a person. That just makes him unhappy too. I want to fucking die.
No. 426247
>>426239>>426243He doesn't mean it, and he tries so hard to not retreat, but it's unconscious on his part. I actually feel like the selfish one since I'm directly making both of our emotions worse. I wish I didn't have to lie. It's not like he's doing anything wrong on his part. If I were happy, things would be great.
>>426245Definitely. We're working on getting him meds and therapy now. I'm going to wait until we can afford more.
No. 426250
File: 1561487908035.jpg (50.92 KB, 450x323, 1544528130157.jpg)
The fattest most disgusting fedora neckbeard just tried to ask me for my number and I still feel so gross
Dude looked like a real carricature of how you'd describe your typical 4channer, every time i've seen him around town he was wearing his fedora, and he's american levels of obese - I've never seen a person take up two whole bus seats before him
But the worst was the grime on his fucking teeth when he opened his mouth, it looked like he's never touched a toothbrush in his life!!!! I'm gagging thinking about it!!
And then when he asked me about my age and I said I was 20 that fucker looked visibly upset and went "oh I thought you were younger"
WHAT ???? DID HE THINK HE CAN SCORE A 16 YEAR OLD OR WHAT?? Why approach me if you think I'm a teen, you're at least 30!!!
Hold me, why do I always attract disgusting creeps like that? Where do guys like him even get the confidence?
I'm gonna avoid the bus for a while now and walk to uni.. Thankfully when he approached me my bus came the exact moment and I could flee from the interaction, but he shouted after me that hell ask me to exchange numbers next time he sees me
Fuck. Sure I'll just say no and hope for the best, but I really don't want to deal with this stress right now
No. 426251
File: 1561487968649.jpg (188.53 KB, 720x510, 20190625_113632.jpg)
>>426247>I actually feel like the selfish one since I'm directly making both of our emotions worse.You're not selfish for wanting your partner to reciprocate, and needing help with your mental health. What's the point of being so self-sacrificing for someone who seems so fucking self-absorbed from everything you just wrote? If he cared about you he'd make an effort.
No. 426252
>>426223Same. I used to come here a lot and then stopped for a few years before returning back to catch up on Charms' threads. Now that she was merged into camgirl general, I just don't feel like shifting through all that shit for a little bit of maybe skim milk.
The ProJared drama was fun, but once Holly returned and shit things up with her stupid mental health advocate ass, I got the fuck out of there. Fatvegfemme is the only real entertaining one, but her thread can be slow at times. I honestly spend most of my time in ot nowadays.
No. 426255
>>426219he sounds fucking insane
you need to leave him, you really do deserve better than whatever the fuck that is if its even a "relationship" at this point. youre human too, probably more so than he is, and not just some caricature of a perfect wife. get out get out get out
No. 426261
>>426257I'm just a stranger on the internet and don't know the details 100%, so you can take my words with a grain of salt.
Your last sentence really struck me. "Everything will be okay when X happens" but what about now? What about your happiness now? Of course therapy will help, but that's in the uncertain future. You know what makes you happy.
I was going to write out some more but I can't really remember it off the top of my head. There's a passage about love and relationships in Mark Hanson's "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" that think might be useful for you to read if you can bother finding a copy. It deals with wanting to help the ones you love and all that jazz, it really opened my eyes when I read it.
I wish you the best of luck anon.
No. 426265
>>426257What the fuck. A marriage is about helping each other through good and bad times. The man who is supposed to be with you for the rest of your life treats you like garbage. When someone loves you they naturally want to help you heal and vice-versa. They don't avoid you and force you to deal with your problems on your own, or even worse, make the problems about themselves. Enough people are selfish and uncaring already, do you really need your SO to be that way too?
He's obviously a piece of shit but you would help from working on yourself too. You don't need a therapist to help yourself now. Once you build up enough self-worth you'll realize it's not worth staying with someone like that. Your depression probably makes you rationalize it as you deserving it, but obviously your logical mind is trying to give you a hint by how miserable and doubtful you feel. It's telling you to get the fuck out of there.
I'm usually the one to advocate to work things out but there is a fundamental compatibility issue here. He does NOT care about you. A relationship can't survive like that.
No. 426304
File: 1561496924599.png (50.14 KB, 675x547, sigh.png)
>>426276I came here to vent about this, specifically because it's brought up some trauma that I completely blocked out.
My close friend died of terminal cancer last September and his dying wish was to play the new Smash game early, since he wasn't going to live long enough to see the official release. Etika was one of the online personalities to help promote his cause and he ended up having a Nintendo rep sent to his house so he could play the game as a result of that. Etika went above and beyond to help my friend, the dude even deleted negative comments about my friend on his videos (like the fucking morons that kept saying "lol I'm gonna pretend to have terminal cancer so I can play games early", "why would his dying wish be to play Smash? lol what a faggot", general edgelord shit). I suddenly remembered today that during one of the last times my friend and I hung out together, he told me that Etika was helping him get to play Smash, and he was thrilled by that. I wasn't even really a fan of him, I just knew him as a guy I'm endlessly thankful for because of his selfless actions.
I was already upset when I found out initially, but the moment I started having traumatic memories pop up in my head, it wore me down to the point where I almost fucking cried at work today. I don't believe in an afterlife, but I hope that Etika and my friend are playing Smash together if it does exist.
No. 426355
>>426343id love to but she hasnt done anything violent shes just extremely manipulative and emotionally
abusive, plus sends hateful messages to any social media she can find out about (which ive deleted ALL just to get away from it) and makes multiple accounts to keep doing it even going as far as to join online games i play and send hate messages and try to manipulate my friends on there. what are u supposed to do with people like that without everyone just thinking its some silly feud and ignoring it? its like i have to keep running away and isolating myself to get away from this one person that's on a mission to destroy what little happiness i can manage to find in my life. it sucks so bad.
No. 426356
File: 1561503851205.jpg (34.92 KB, 750x500, iaf.jpg)
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a virgin for good due to circumstance and my ideas about relationships being too old fashioned.
I want to lose it to someone I trust and who I have a future planned out with, but because I'm moving across the (huge) country as soon as I graduate that's unlikely to happen within the next four years. I doubt anyone could like me enough to move with me. So I could wait until I move of course, but because I started university late I'll be 26 by that time. Men who are in their mid to late twenties are more likely to have already settled down with someone so my options will be low and getting lower with each passing year.
I wish I wasn't so monogamy obsessed because I'm a horny bitch and could just be having promiscuous fun if my character was only slightly different. Yet here I am, a prospective permavirgin.
No. 426362
>>426257Anon, this sounds a lot like my ex bf who had BPD. Lots of males with BPD (especially the ones who aren't aggressive physically) are not diagnosed. Please be careful in the therapy, don't let yourself be manipulated, focus on facts, on things he did and didn't do. If you decide to break it off, make sure you have family/friends support.
Sorry for armchair diagnosis, just please be careful anon. I hope you will be able to get through this.
>>426239The fuck? No, this is not normal, 90% of men certainly aren't like this.
No. 426392
File: 1561511097763.jpg (16 KB, 480x208, DtrEoihWwAYTOxw.jpg)
>>426306Thank you for saying that, that's really sweet and it's definitely a comforting thought (I teared up a little, lol). Ever since Etika went missing I've felt so uneasy, and I couldn't put my finger on it. My brain just kept bringing up old memories at the wrong time (most memories being good, but still incredibly painful). I think my brain was going into defense mode again, desperately trying to block out what happened to my friend. Now that Etika's gone, my brain's given up and I'm suddenly flooded with all these memories that I tried to forget. Kind of silly that Etika caused this to happen, but trauma works in mysterious ways.
He put a lot of care into how my friend's campaign was handled. I didn't even know that Etika actively deleted edgelord comments until my friend told me today. He didn't have to do it, but he did anyways. And I was so, so, so appreciative at the time, and I still am. It's sad when you think about it, the guy was selfless and helped my friend get through the worst fucking thing imaginable, the thought of being dead at 21 years of age. And in the end, Etika couldn't save himself from the same fate, even though he didn't have to die and could have stopped himself. It's so unbearably depressing to me. Suicide is something I've struggled with for a really long time, and my friend helped me through a lot of really rough patches.
Watching Etika push away every one of his friends until he ended up offing himself was a huge eye opener for me. When my friend died I basically had to force myself to not isolate myself, because just a few months prior, I had pushed everyone away for a solid year. And when I finally decided to break out of my shell and start interacting with people again, I found out my best fucking friend was going to be dead in a few months. Shit was fucking terrible.
No. 426396
I got rejected from regular hospital service to check out my bowels (even though my mum has confirmed IBS and has for a long time and my symptoms are the same as hers) so I got sent to some tiny charity hospital.
They literally called and booked me in for what I thought would be some kind of starter appointment, but then they sent me a letter in the mail to (quite literally) prepare my ass for a sigmoidoscopy. Okay sure, fine whatever. Bought my own enema like they told me and used it this morning.
Mum dropped me off to the appointment and all the nurses were really lovely so I was pretty hopeful.
Then the doctor came.
For context, i'm pretty fat (especially because i'm short), but technically healthy (i'm in my early 20s so I guess that helps).
He started off nice and asked me about my medical history, told him that I had endometriosis and had a surgery for it earlier in the year. Okay. Any heart problems? Liver problems???? Diabetes??????? Respiratory problems???????????? Nope. Are you SURE??????????????? Yes, i've had plenty of tests. Kept side eyeing me and acting like I was straight up lying to him. Yes dude, I am fat but I don't sit on my ass eating KFC all day, I was immobilized in bed most of the past 4 years due to my endometriosis. Shocker.
Anyway he puts away the papers and I get taken away into the room they do the procedure in. They ask if a student nurse can watch, and stupid me assuming they would be female like all the other nurses ended up having an 18 year old boy look at my ass cheeks being spread and inner bowel broadcasted for 10 minutes.
It was extremely painful for the majority of it but i'm pretty used to being in bad pain so I didn't react to it much.
Procedure finished, doctor tells me there doesn't seem to be anything wrong except I have some moderate hemorrhoids. Sure makes sense.
Then he starts telling me that I REALLY need to start drinking water (mfw???). I tell him I actually drink 2-4 litres of water per day or else I get extremely dehydrated, and my GP told me I need to try drinking less. He looks me in the eyes and tells me "well. No you don't. Or else you wouldn't have hemorrhoids". BITCH WHAT THE FUCK???????????????ok
Then I see on the paper he's filling out that he put my pain level for the procedure as a "1". Despite not fucking asking me once.
I'm so glad it was free or else i'd be finding out how to fucking murder this cunt. I probably sound like a delusional fatty-chan but straight up being treated like and told i'm a liar drives me up the fucking wall. I was rejected public healthcare for about 8 fucking years for my pelvic pain and treated like I was lying or overreacting to the pain I was experiencing until I went private and got a laparoscopy to find endometriosis all up my pelvic walls. Fuck doctors, especially male ones.
No. 426401
File: 1561512130197.jpg (34.04 KB, 540x540, HzhotRDl.jpg)
I don't have any friends and my boyfriend can't hang out with me all the time. What do I do? Men express interest in me but the second I tell them I have a boyfriend they ditch me. I never meet any females who I share hobbies with because my hobbies are stupid dumb nerd shit and I have spaghetti for hands. I've been staying with my mom for the past few days under the guise of being too lazy to pack up after housesitting but really I just can't stand to live alone and be alone all the time anymore. I feel pathetic for being mid-twenties and running back to my mother out of sheer loneliness. Should I just off myself?
No. 426471
>>426467lmao fucking agreed.
It's transparent that the preference is not legit physical attraction but a subconscious defense mechanism (he's 20 years older than me, surely he won't dump me for a teenager when I hit 30! He's an ugly nerd, surely he won't cheat on me with a Stacey!) and a cool-girlesque attempt at being unique, more tolerant, etc.
No. 426484
>>426477I know it's far more complicated than just saying "do better" and you can't just point the finger at any one person, but damn if the system as-is doesn't suck. The mental healthcare system in the US does not advocate nearly as much as they should for the mentally ill, and I know it doesn't because of limited resources that are in no way the fault of hospital workers. But I'm just in disbelief that they could admit this suffering man twice and just…let him go. I know he refused help on multiple occasions, but where's the line? When do we say "this severely mentally ill person does not have their own best interests in mind and needs to be advocated for whether he likes it or not?"
You can't make someone who doesn't want to be helped to help themselves, but you could at least give him the tools to do it. Maybe he would've killed himself anyway, but maybe he would've given it a shot. Who knows.
No. 426494
>>426483tl;dr: don't do it unless you're close and comfortable with them
parents have a certain dynamic with their children, which is very different from the way spouses interact with each other. in my observation a lot of tension arises from the simple fact that due to feeling a certain ownership over the person, mothers-and daughters-in-law don't get along super well.
second thing is the poisoned well. i faced this personally but it might not be the case for you so take it with a grain of salt; but if a person assumes from the get-go that you're terrible and wants to see the worst in you, they'll point out everything you do from holding your fork wrong to dressing like a hobo. you could be a literal saint and they'll find something to talk shit about, and that kind of thing will spoil any vacation.
third thing to consider is, do you want to spend an extended period of time bonding with people who are/soon will be part of your family? you are not obligated to. i haven't done any vacationing with my in-laws but in the past every couple of months they would force me to take a leave and come down to their place to just spend time with them for 10-odd days
without their son present. (by force me, i mean emotional manipulation until either I or my husband would cave) needless to say both parties were left with diminishing opinions of each other every time, and now i don't do it anymore because i know how it'll end.
hopefully you have a better relationship with your inlaws anon, but remember that you get to decide how much work to put into it and you get to decide your personal boundaries. don't feel forced to spend time with someone just because they're family, because it can go wrong unless both parties are comfortable and willing to become close with each other.
(sorry if the answer was a bit rambly lol this is still a sore topic for me but i'm working on improving my emotional strength when it comes to thinking about this objectively)
No. 426498
File: 1561538954206.png (8.42 KB, 324x82, shit.PNG)
I fucking hate it when companies try to be relatable and quirky. Ffs people these companies are not your friends. Also I wish Arby's would stop pandering to weebs.
No. 426511
>>426396I never trust male nurses and doctors because I always feared they would dismiss my symptoms or whatever. I've been lucky enough to only have female doctors for some important issues when I was a kid and then a teenager. But even some female doctors don't give a fuck about their patients sometimes. I don't think your doctor only dismissed you because you're a fatty-chan, some do that with everyone because they're just incompetent overall. And the fact that you have (had?) endometriosis and were neglected by doctors doesn't surprise me at all. Next time you have to go see a doctor or go to the hospital don't hesitate to refuse seeing a male nurse if you think they can send a female nurse instead. You're allowed to if that makes you uncomfortable.
Speaking of shitty female doctors, I remember last year passing out at home, throwing up for a week and only being able to eat a small bag of chips and drink a glass of water for the entire week and when I was healthy enough to get out and see a doctor she told me 5 or 6 times I'm most likely just pregnant even though I'm a kissless virgin and she didn't want to write an official document so I could ovoid going to work until I insisted for 30min. I turned out to have a stomach virus and it only took her a few seconds to test me for that but I still had to insist for it because she somehow thought I was still pregnant after I told her I was a virgin. When I told her about my previous health issues that could make me feel sick she dismissed me even though she could have consulted my medical records in 5 seconds and seen that I had a congenital disorder that could contribute to me passing out from time to time. Another dumb bitch, an endocrinologist, made me wait up to 7 months to check something very specific and important and because I didn't completely shave my legs for the consultation she told me she'll check my male hormones first after my blood work. Once I had the results none of what I asked for was mentioned in particular. If you see that shit don't hesitate to ask questions over and over again because some doctors are just straight up retarded.
No. 426520
File: 1561544330938.jpg (37.34 KB, 466x600, DYpA8JYU8AAHTwu.jpg)
I am so crippled by my fear of people getting angry at me and I fucking hate it. I can't ever speak up for myself or do literally anything that might involve the possibility of mildly inconveniencing someone else in the slightest way. I feel like my existence is just a burden on every person who ever interacts with me and I wish I could disappear. I'm so bitter that I grew up with an explosive unstable narcissist and how my entire life has been poisoned because of that. I fucking hate being like this.
No. 426524
>>426324Go to the police. The worst that happens is they say no. But at least if she murders you the cops will be punished for inaction.
It sounds like you're still in school maybe, contact school and show them the messages etc.
>>426483My in-laws are insane so that would be a nightmare. However, I have girlfriends that go on family vacations every year with their bfs' (correct punctuation?) parents.
>>426520Therapy may help you discover and work on self confidence. Or take little steps.
No. 426573
>>426564Sorry anon, I chuckled at the cucked mom line.
Anyway good riddance to her. I guess there's a reason you were her only friend.
No. 426576
>>426569Please, anon. Situations like this don't happen because the step dad is exceptionally "hot". It's obviously because anon's friend is pathetic and wanted to feel soap opera tier desirable.
>>426564She sucks. Don't feel bad. What an asshole thing to do, and why would you risk a friendship and try to ruin a marriage for wrinkly balls of all things? Madness. I wish the older man meme would die. This is what it causes!
No. 426582
>>426569By real world American standards he is considerably better looking than your average man in his mid-40's, but not attractive at all by Hollywood standards. One of my friends who is into older men said he is not hot at all, just not a bridge troll like most American men that age.
>>426576You're right, I shouldn't feel bad. If this is how she treats her "best friend" she doesn't deserve any until she makes some serious fucking changes deep within herself.
No. 426594
File: 1561562539218.gif (4.38 MB, 360x270, do your best.gif)
>>426529Don't give up anon! I believe in you! I was in a terrible job situation that only seemed to get worse as the days went on. I was job hunting on the side but I absolutely couldn't take it, it got to the point where I was contemplating suicide and reverted back to self harming on a near weekly basis because I felt so trapped. I ended up quitting without having a job lined up (only because I'm in a fortunate enough situation that I could do it) and continued job hunting for about a month after before I landed my current gig, which is significantly less stressful. I think I applied to over 200 jobs before I was (very luckily) approached by a recruiter about my current job. It's only a temp position so I'll be back in job hunting hell in just a few months, but it's a step in the right direction.
It sucks. It really, really sucks anon. Look into temp agencies, take some time off if you can. I hope something good comes your way, just keep on trying your best.
No. 426663
File: 1561573757604.jpg (849.26 KB, 906x936, 1515973940739.jpg)
fuk, man. i just want to find a nice qt boy i get along with. why it so hard
No. 426689
>>426639Sorry to say this anon, but he's treating you this way because he thinks you're a desperate fat girl who will stay as long as he dangles the carrot of finance over your head. It feeds his big fat ego.
If he's willing to tell you that you kill his boner, then the only thing stopping him from cheating on you is lack of options. What a completely loveless thing to say to anybody and no less a wife!
I agree with other anons about keeping your head down; improve yourself if you'd like but don't feel bad about cheating on this sack. Take advantage of him like how he emotionally takes advantage of you.
Regardless of what some anachans here might say, 200 pounds at 5'9 isn't deathfat tier and there are men out there who would still pop a boner for you and love you.
Ditch the ungrateful drunk.
No. 426712
>>426689Yeah funny you mention lack of options. He
literally just told me a few hours ago that he wants to sleep with other women but just not me. I then spent the next few hours bawling my eyes out. He’s now flip flopping saying he doesn’t know what he wants to no, he didn’t really mean it.
I’m very religious and I don’t believe in divorce except for abandonment but I’m going to talk to others about this because I believe this is emotional abandonment.
He doesn’t even care enough to try marriage counseling or couples therapy.
No. 426737
>>426626>overweight>bad skinHave you been tested for PCOS? If not, you should. With treatment you'll fix both of those problems.
Also your husband is an
abusive asshat. Please leave him ASAP. Even if things improved as you lost weight would you want to be with someone who would say/do those things to their wife?
No. 426742
>>426737I have not been tested for pcos but I know it runs in my family so I’ll make an appointment tomorrow…I never thought of that.
Also, I know that if it’s not my weight or skin, it’ll be something else that’s not up to his standards like him saying I’m nagging him when I just ask him once to take the garbage out or something stupid.
I’m just tired of all this.
I wanted love not someone constantly making me feel worthless.
I’m fucked up enough as it is without his help
No. 426821
File: 1561622255061.jpg (55.19 KB, 800x800, IMG_20190627_094847.jpg)
At two exams and my final thesis to get my second degree, I am so fucking tired of having anxiety each time, I can't study anymore, it's like I lost every bit of reading comprehension I once had.
There are 40°C out there and I'm about to leave before I get called for my exam.
Too much pressure, I wish I could live off lottery money and do whatever I want for the rest of ny life. Fuck education.
No. 426847
>>426843People are so fucking cavalier about their skin, it's unbelievable. Even if they don't care about getting cancer, surely the vanity that makes them desperate for a tan would acknowledge the wrinkles they'll get? Don't they realize that sun exposure causes like 90% of premature aging?
I don't hate it though, I'll be glad to age better than people who think I need a tan.