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Lol my favorite is “what about the four black churches that burned down last week!!! Do you care about those?? Ur racism is showing whitey!!” Like were they architectural monuments that have existed for hundreds of years? I’m not catholic or religious at all but can recognize that notre dame is an iconic piece of architecture. Notre dame is one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever been to sorry that I don’t care about some random Baptist church in Louisiana.
I'm an anon who has earlier complained about my sister's misogynistic asshole of a husband.
They've been visiting for five days now with the rest of the family for Easter holiday, and today I was so fed up with him I threw a half-full bottle of coke at his face when he made yet another "women are stupid, emotional cows" jokes.
Both my sister and my mom started yelling at me. I realize how childish it was and how I should have just walked away, that it probably just strengthened his world-view and made an already bad family gathering even worse.
I'm rarely one to lose my temper, but after five days of listening to all his blatant racist and misogynistic bullshit, throwing something at him was the only thing that went through my head. I'm not even able to acknowledge the little good that might be in him anymore.
My mother and sister claims that he doesn't really mean anything he says and that "it's just a joke, you should laugh at it", which makes me feel even worse for acting the way I did. I have earlier made a point of not laughing and just ignoring the things he says, staring at my phone or leaving the room, but lately he has started to say these things while staring straight at me, hoping for a reaction. No part of me is able to believe that "it's just a joke". If it was, he wouldn't otherwise be such a shitty father who has never changed a diaper, bottle fed or put his baby to sleep because "that's a woman's job".
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Not really related, but you mentioning Giza reminded me of something annoying I saw a while ago. Tourists need to stop disrespecting cultural landmarks. How hard is it to be respectful when you're in countries as a visitor? Why scrawl shit like "(name) was here" on pieces of history? Why do this?
Keep your "Life is an aDvEnTuRe" degeneracy on top of skyscrapers in your own city until you get some manners, ffs.
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Just got called a coon bc I said yes you can be racist against white ppl n had a gang of ppl telling me racism is a system used to oppress POC. Why do these fuckers make everything so complicated??? I literally am not getting it. If you say you hate a certain race n wish harm upon them. You're racist. Point. Blank. Period.
Wow, that's so trashy and disgusting. Whoever shot and participated in this needs to be sued. I'm tired of Chinese tourists and Westerners treating foreign countries as their personal playground.
On that note, I understand why the Notre Dame is important but if billionaires gave money to restore it so readily, why can't they give money for projects to help protect the environment, plant trees, restore rainforests or clean up garbage in the ocean instead of just giving empty answers and promises?
I can totally see this happening.
I've yet to see someone straight-up get called a slur for "not being woke enough", but I've heard a lot of people get called "oreos", "bananas", "uncle toms", "twinkies", etc, so it was only a matter of time until people got carried away and started using actual racist slurs for the sake of wokeness.
"Woke" culture is well-meaning, but it's been very divisive in that its given white people this bizarre savior/guilt complex, and it's put all racial/sexuality minorities on a pedestal. Jesus, is it that hard to just acknowledge past injustices while also just treating people fairly? Why does everything have to turn into sycophantism?
People are weird.
Don't worry, Anon. Both of these jackasses and the camel caravan that helped them have been arrested and charged. Apparently the photographer has been hiring women to try and do this shoot with him for years, but every time he tried before, he was stopped by the Egyptian authorities. Yes, this loser actually had to PAY a woman to do this with him.
I can only imagine what happens to people who commit public indecency in a muslim country, lmao.
"Coon" is actually just a term for self-hating black people. It's the black equivalent to white people shouting "Ugh, white guilt
!!" whenever a white person chooses to recognize that racism exists. It started out as a slur, but it was basically reclaimed. It's been in use within black circles for a long, long time.
Black people don't say it in rap songs (since rap music is largely apolitical), so people outside the community don't really know about it.
Yesterday my sister had a job interview at a dog hotel/daycare. She got the job, and was really excited. They asked her to stay until closing to work a couple of hours.
I was so happy for her because she has bad anxiety and she was able to get through the day without a panic attack or needing a xanax. I have a couple of friends who work at the same place and they said its a good job and it isn't too difficult. She said she would be down to stay until closing and so I went back home (I drove her, she is afraid of driving). A couple of hours later I get a call from her and she's crying on the phone (I had half expected this to happen bc of how bad her anxiety can be, at one point she couldn't leave the house it was so bad).
I figured she was overwhelmed and I thought I heard her say "I got sick". I was in the middle of telling her that it's alright and she's okay when she interrupts and says "No, a dog, a dog. He bit me." I felt my heart sink dude, out of all possible outcomes that wasn't one that even crossed my mind. I sped over and got there she was a mess. Luckily the dog only punctured her once, and I took her to an express ER where they gave her a couple of stitches. The owner of the daycare was very nice and gave us a worker's comp claim # and has texted asking how she is doing.
What had happened was she was alone and rotating the dogs, well one of them is aggressive (german shepard) and she was trying to get him back into his kennel. She said he was antsy around her and she took the leash off to try and let him go in by himself. He didn't, and she put the leash back on him so she could guide him over. She said she pet him a little and touched his chest and that's when he freaked on her. She had backed up bc he spazzed a bit and when she backed up he turned and jumped her and started biting her arm. She said she just screamed and kept her arms in front of her and the owner (of the hotel) came in and got the dog off. I feel so bad because when she tries to talk about what happened she breaks down and starts sobbing. It really scared her.
I feel like I lead her into a lion's den, she had done so fucking awesome all day and even though she was anxious she was still excited about the job. It was such a huge step for her! And then this happened. I feel so guilty about it man and I hope that this doesn't make her clam up again or anything like that. I don't want her to blame herself and tell herself that she isn't good enough, and yesterday one of her co workers mentioned that the dog might have to be put down and I worry she will blame herself and guilt herself (she's incredibly empathetic, like to a fault). I just want her to be okay, I feel so guilty that I didn't even think about her being put with an aggressive dog that would attack her.
>>400259>Chooses to recognize racism exists
I guess, but usually it's done in a way where the person who's being called a coon/having white guilt acts like they can't do no wrong and are just being racist themselves out of pure boredom & trying to gain popularity points. At least that's my interpretation of it.
Not sure if that's the actual case for anon, they could've been calling her a coon because they didn't know any other names.
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i do have freinds that are trans and is becase of trauma, but this tipe of "i pass :D" shit make me cringe, you don't pass becase a degenet told you he is going to impregnation you, you aren't and you will never be a fucking cis women, you don't face the same fucking probelms as I do , god i'm so mad
You sound like bitch that tries to make herself into a victim
. I'm not surprised your confirmed unstable.
wow I’m like crying for your sister, anon! you sound like an extremely good sibling though. don’t blame yourself!! If anything!! Why couldn’t she have had more warning or training on what to do in that situation? It’s also good that her superiors in her job obviously care enough to make sure she’s ok after that.
All you can do is be there for her at this point. My heart goes out to her as someone with similar anxiety troubles. I genuinely hope she will be okay and maybe be able to continue to work and be happy. You both deserve it. Wow, my heart.
in other news I’ve been following that Turpin case today and it’s made me really sad. Been kinda weepy in general all day wondering if I’m about to have a period or something.
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I feel like a stupid teenager for being upset by this but I need to vent so here it goes:
My friend (who is also my ex) is currently having a birthday party at his place. I know he has no obligation to invite me and it probably would've been awkward since I don't know any of his new friends and they don't know me, but I can't help but feel kind of shitty about it since he didn't tell me anything about it and we're still close.
Time to get over it
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I have been having a tough week, during the weekend i had a pretty bad nightmare about past sexual abuse and i can't shake the memories off anymore, i burst crying out of nowhere and late at night there's intrusive thoughts urging me to go back to the situation i was.
To make matters worse my boyfriend has been ignoring me, i think he's going to break up with me. He's been acting very distant and not inviting me to hang out anymore, he doesn't seem to want my company. I tried to communicate how serious was my situation but i can't seem to be able to word it properly wihtout actually talking about the trauma.
About said trauma, i just can't talk about it, its too painful, i told a close friend and the next day i was still so shook up i attempted suicide, that friend is also the only person i can confide now in this situation but i don't want to burden him with dealing with me just because he's the only person who knows about it.
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I have been so frustrated recently. I don't understand why I've been such a cold unaffectionate person, and not in an "hehehe xd I'm a psychopath way!", I just straight up get flustered as a response to any terms of affection or gestures to affection, and I don't usually show affection all that much, but I used to when I was wayyyy younger and had a girlfriend, so I keep thinking back on those times and wondering why I can't be as shameless, proud, and declaring as I was before.
I just think my ex boyfriend who was an abusive dipshit and liked to intimidate me kind of killed my affectionate spirits, and I am still getting over him, so there's that is a root of it, or I may just be a literal undiagnosed autismo. Eitherway, this is frustrating (to me) as fuck and I just wanna be a sappy romantic person. I'm so tired of seeming cold and bitchy to all my friends and people who expect better out of me when in reality I do care, I'm just so shit at expressing it.
>>400351>I just think my ex boyfriend who was an abusive dipshit and liked to intimidate me kind of killed my affectionate spirits,
I'm the same way and I'm pretty sure this is why. I gave my first bf pretty much all of me but he was an abusive
piece of shit who made me beg for his affections and sexually and emotionally abused me and I've never enjoyed an affectionate relationship since. Even with my current bf who I love to pieces I'm still incredibly reserved in my affections and shy away from his a lot.
The saddest part was that I dated my ex over 10 years ago and I'm still fucked up about it. I feel no love towards him but I'm enraged every time he happens to cross my mind because he got away with all the lies, abuse and then cheated on me with a girl he used to tell me he hated (who used to dog our entire relationship because she was jealous). I tried to talk about the above to a therapist and she completely dismissed it in favour of talking about my childhood so I'm scared to bring it up again.
Anyway sorry for hijacking your post but you're not alone.
Feeling guilty because those who are supposed to support you are instead going to attack makes you a shit mum now? What is with this site and assuming every parent, in particular mothers, is shit/abusive
. This is such a fucking reach.
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Sorry for coming off as pathetic, I just don't think anyone irl cares to hear about my familial issues.
The other day my narcissist mother had another fight with me after I came home from work. It was really petty.
Since she's a bored pensioner with no friends or hobbies, she assaults me with questions whenever I return home. Usually within a minute of walking through the door. "What did you eat today?" "What's in your bag?" "What are you making?" "How was work?" "Are you going out tonight?" "Are you seeing a boy?" I'd told her countless times how it annoys me and that I need to unwind. I've felt uncomfortable ever since I've had to move back home, and she makes me feel juvenile by asking me intrusive questions as if I, an adult, need to report my every move, meal, and date to her like a preteen. I don't even have a sense of privacy as she intrudes into the room under the guise of "cleaning" to touch, move, and sieve through my belongings–and no, I'm not a messy person.
The first thing she did when I pulled up to the house (she was standing outside with my stepdad) was follow me in to nag at me to not mess the house up because she had spent aaaallll day cleaning it for Easter. 1. I'm not a messy person, but she's the type to rewash dishes and rewipe counters after I had just cleaned up after myself because what I do isn't to her liking. 2. She "cleaned the house for Easter" on Wednesday…Easter isn't until Sunday, so she's just setting up her supply to play victim when inevitably a cup gets left in the sink or something minor like that.
But okay, I'm used to that and I said nothing.
Then, the questions. I don't know what did it on this particular day, but I snapped. I brought in a grocery bag full of food I intended to make for myself for dinner and when she asked "What are you eating," I told her crudely that it was none of her business and that I had told her before why that annoys me.
Her response? "You're mean! You're a mean person! I'm a PRISONER in my own house! So it's gotta be on YOUR terms eh?!" Spouting nonsense to justify herself breaking the boundaries I had laid out because how dare I have the audacity to tell her she was being annoying while not being peachy sweet about having to repeat myself. Such is a narc, she's gotta be right and I have to be the one who is wrong.
Stepdad walks in, and as usual, he defends her behavior by saying "She's just trying to make conversation." Behind closed doors, my stepdad agrees that she's a major bitch and is excessive, but he'll never say anything to defend me in front of her because he doesn't want to catch her shit unless it's him being personally attacked by her.
They both walk outside and I overhear my mom continuing to whine and suggest I get kicked out. Stepdad doesn't tolerate it.
Stepdad comes back in and asks me to go out to the bar with him for a drink. I agree, but at the time I thought it was going to be a one on one to gently inform me that I had worn out my welcome and per my mom's command, I'd have to leave.
I expected the worst.
We arrived at the bar and settled outside with our drinks. I can't recollect the conversation in any certain order, but my stepdad theorizes that my mom determined to antagonize a fight with me before she walked in because my stepdad wanted to have this one on one talk with me and she doesn't like that we may commiserate our grievances about her together.
The purpose of the talk was actually to make sure I was doing okay because I'd been staying out late–if I came home at all–with friends or Tinder dates. I confessed that the reason why I try not to come home is because of mom. She's plain miserable and neurotic and my instinctual reaction when I see her is disgust because of all the fucked up shit she's said and done to me.
Stepdad confessed he had been staying out later because he can't stand my mother either. For the past couple of months he had been coming home rather late.
So for twenty minutes I vented all of the horrible, rotten things mom had said to me because I felt like stepdad was actually listening to me.
I got so comfortable that I had brought up how my mom had asked me if I thought he was cheating on her.
Stepdad got serious.
"Anon, I have something to confide. Please do not tell your mother. For the past two months I have been seeing a woman. She's 30 and has a 6 year old. She doesn't know I'm married, but I've told her all about you and shown her pictures and she wants to meet you."
It broke me. I'm 27. My stepdad is seeing and fucking a woman 3 years older than me.
Sure, my mom is a bitch and they've had a sexless, dead relationship for 10 years but I'd never pegged my stepdad as a cowardly cheater. My eyes filled with tears, but so I wouldn't break down in the bar and scream, I just uttered an "Ok." I didn't know what to say because for the past thirty minutes I had laid out how much of a problem mom is, and I didn't have it in me to defend her.
All I could think about is how this is my mom's third failed marriage to be, and possibly the second divorce I'll have to go through.
More selfishly, I thought about how I can't have any kind of mother fucking stability from people who are meant to be examples.
I always thought my stepdad was the voice of reason, and the 'good' parent. Totally someone I would've #NOTALLMEN up until that night. I thought he put duty, responsibility, and love before the priorities of sex but I was dead wrong. He told me he'd been miserable for awhile and wants to leave.
He told me that he didn't want my advice, opinion, or my approval (aka he's gonna do what he wants and what makes him happy).
In the meantime, I'm not to tell my mom anything.
I'm now complicit if I don't tell her. But I fear telling her because, being a misogynistic narc, she'll accuse me of consorting and egging on the infidelity. She'll say me and stepdad conspired against her and she won't believe me if I told her that I only knew until recently because she had asked me about cheating before and I said no (even though I innocently didn't know at the time). I'd suggest marriage counseling, but my mom thinks psychology and therapy is a crock of shit. Whenever I argue in a clinical fashion against something she does she shouts "DON'T PSYCHOANALYZE ME!!!" (When I had a mental breakdown from my shitty job due to stress-induced anxiety-I went to the doc and was on meds-she insinuated anxiety was an excuse to not work and that it was my ploy to try to get government assistance and food stamps…which never happened).
Because she's a narc, she knows better than professionals and she's right anyway. She won't work on her behavior at this point and she's not gonna change.
Anyone who's ever lived with my mom has hated her guts. Yet despite that, I think my stepdad is a huge coward. It's clear he's sticking with her because he's afraid of her consequences, and also needs her for financial stability. He needs to just come clean and leave her instead of dragging me into the middle of this like he's done. I told him I'm not going to interfere, but it's eating at me every day.
I just want normal, loving parents.
Repost because I forgot to mention the most fucked up part: Mom has since stopped giving me the silent treatment, and stepdad is acting like nothing happened.
They both always act like nothing happened after these disturbing emotional events!
You're not complicit of anything. It's entirely HIS issue, not yours.
How old is your step dad? 30 and you're 27? That is legit nasty as fuck, but your mom sounds like a whole nother type of nightmare. I'm sorry that you have to deal with her pissy-ness everyday. It's incredibly hard living in an abusive
household and I sympathize with you. It's okay to feel sad and frustrated living in such chaos but please do not blame yourself or feel like their personal relationships are your problem.
Why doesn't your step dad leave your mother though if he's so miserable and having an affair?
Also sorry if this is wrong but are you the same anon who wanted to pursue that chef guy or whatever and your mom belittled him?
What a fucking horrible position to be in. No doubt your mum sounds awful but nobody deserves to be cheated on, if the relationship doesn't work he should leave instead of sticking around and using her. Cheating is bad enough, but the thought of a parent figure with someone near your own age is absolutely sickening.
If I was you I would threaten him into admitting it to her. Even if he doesn't, I'd still tell her. You might get accused of some bullshit, but at least this way you won't have a piece of shit man around leeching off your family's money. That's your inheritance, don't let him use her while he's fucking a woman YOUR age.
He's in his late 50s. My mom is 60.
Even if I low ball his age, it means by the time he turns 60 the woman will still be younger than 35. It's so gross to me.
I doubt her motivations are completely innocent either. It's probably the money. Like why would a single 30 year old mother be interested in my frankly unattractive stepdad with his slightly-better-than-blue-collar job? It's just that I consider her less skeevy in it because stepdad should be more mature than this. He should be the one to say "No, this is predatory power play."
Or maybe he feels like it's a "do-over." When he met my mom, she was in her 30s and I was about 7 or 8. Even though he's older, maybe he wants to relive being the hero.
>Why doesn't your step dad leave your mother though if he's so miserable and having an affair?
For the sake of his image and to avoid financial fallout, no doubt.
He owes thousands to the IRS and my mom's pension certainly helps balance the bills right now. I'm sure his sister and brother, who don't have anything against my mom and are religious, would not approve of him leaving for a 30 year old woman.
I think he's biding time to see if he can secure the new relationship, but if not, it was a secret so it can fizzle out quietly if it turns out it won't work.
If he left my mom but then the 30 year old woke up and ended the relationship, stepdad would be SOL.
>Also sorry if this is wrong but are you the same anon who wanted to pursue that chef guy or whatever and your mom belittled him?
Funny about that: The guy turned out to be an abusive
narcissist! I guess my servile personality attracts em–but he was a bad person for what he turned out to be, not because he was a chef.
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That woman is more than likely getting with your step dad for the money. My mom, who was also a single mother and struggling, did the same thing when she was in her 30s and she got with some man who was 20 years older. She could've fooled herself into thinking they could make it work and that she liked him in the beginning, but the main motive was money so that she could buy a house (which she was always too poor to own) and be stable with him. That obviously didn't work out for multiple reasons and eventually they couldn't stand each other. My mom turned out to be abusive
and I watched her become a greedy shitbag throughout the years growing up.
Your step dad and this mystery woman are no doubt using each other but for different reasons. Regardless, it's not your obligation to focus on it. You worry about you and take care of yourself.
>Funny about that: The guy turned out to be an abusive narcissist! I guess my servile personality attracts em
Good riddance, anon. Please be careful. You need to stand your ground and watch out for any red flags with these people, but don't be discouraged from dating or opening up. I hope you find a man that you love and treats you right. I don't want your life to be filled with shitty people.
Your mother emits a certain type of shitty energy through the screen whenever I imagine her lol. I'm always rooting for you and I know how hard it is xo
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i'm gonna be alone on my birthday.
tried to get some people together to make some plans, and they all bailed on me because my birthday falls on easter so they all have family plans.
fuck easter. i have literally never had so much rage and bitterness for a holiday. the one singular day i get to be selfish and go out and have fun with friends… and instead i get blown off for, what. easter egg hunts?
god this fucking chugs.
tried, anon. it's either work, family shit, or both.
i'm not blaming them for having families, i'm mad because i'm gonna be lonely on my birthday. i'm venting about that, in a thread made for venting.
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I'm sick for the first time in years…and I'm so miserable. I can't breathe out of my nose, my head feels foggy, I'm throwing up every couple hours, coughing so much my throat is raw and I'm sneezing all the Damn time. At first I thought it was just allergies but it just kept getting worse. I have so much work to do this weekend and a couple hour long car ride on Monday. I never realized how much I took my health for granted lol and I truly feel for those who are sick all the time.
Do you have a fever? Headache? Body aches? Is congestion limited to your nose, not also in your chest? Any swelling in your lymph nodes? In your throat and tonsils?>>400479
>take medicine that has a bunch of shit in it
Treat the symptoms you have. Don't take unnecessary meds or the wrong ones for your symptoms, for example a cough suppressant when you need an expectorant.
Day Nurse contains paracetamol, pseudoephedrine and pholcodine. Night Nurse contains paracetamol, promethazine and dextromethorphan.
These ingredients are not universally available OTC. In the US pholcodine is Schedule 1 (prohibited). Promethazine is Rx only. Pseudoephedrine is regulated (18 and over with ID).
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Retarded vent: I'm drunk and high and listening to music while I'm trying to fall asleep but I can't sleep. All of the songs I listen to make me feel worse instead of better like they usually do. I just think about how the singers are singing to/about someone they really love and it makes me sad because I just wish someone could care for me that way. Usually I listen to those songs because I feel like I can relate to those feelings of love, but now I realize that no one has probably ever thought that way about me and it makes me so lonely.
I have recently realized that one of my closest family members has emotionally abusive and manipulative tendencies. Part of me feels like a good amount of stress is now off my shoulders but another part of me is scared to move on.
It’s my aunt. She’s been a second parent to me my entire life. While I am thankful for the fact that she raised me when she didn’t really have to, that doesn’t change the fact that she has some really fucked up tendencies. She has a major savior/martyr complex. After high school, she moved two of my friends into our household (both friends came from troubled home lives). One friend had really bad hoarding tendencies and I hated sharing a room with her. My other friend had a really bad temper and would be really nasty to everyone when she was pissed. Because of this, I really didn’t like sharing a space with the latter friend and I tried telling my aunt this. Her response? “You over exaggerating and you have this weird hatred for her. Get over it.”
That was a long time ago. I’ve since made up with that friend and she’s calm down a lot. I’ve forgiven her. I still have resentment towards my aunt on how she’s handled the thing. Fast forward to last year. Hoarder friend’s little sister is pregnant. About a few months before she gives birth, aunt asks if I would be willing to share a room with the sister and her baby. I tell her straight up no. She asks me a few weeks later and I tell her that if she moves in, I’m moving out because I have no interest sharing a house with a baby m. She acts like I’m being unresonable.
Well, sister and baby move in anyway and surprise, surprise. It ends terribly. I won’t go into details but when she finally moves out, I tell her that I didn’t like that she did that and I thought it was unfair to me? Her response? “How dare you think that? I do sooo much for you!”
Yup. My aunt is a fucking narc. Never wrong. Always the victim. Always feeds off people needing her help. Including myself. She always plays up my mental illness and acts like I can’t live on my own even though I’m 27. The time I did move out, I ended up coming back because I didn’t want to be alone but honestly now, I rather be alone than put up with her shit.
I still love her and I always will. But I can’t live with her. She has no desire to change. I just feel stupid for putting up with it so long. Especially since I’m pushing 30.
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Who /picky eater/ here? Picky eater as in finding the textures/taste of most foods absolutely revolting to the point of making you gag, and when i say most i mean most. There are probably only 30~ things I'm willing to eat. It's so annoying when people tell me that i need to "grow up" or "just try it!", like what part did you not understand about most foods making me gag?
I'm really feeling it now. I really want to go to Japan but most foods sound absolutely disgusting to me, and i don't want to seem like a rude picky foreigner. I'm also nearing my 30s and people are getting increasingly more vocal about what i eat and don't eat. I'm not even ana-chan, i eat quite well. But i feel like lately the prospect of eating has been getting more and more disgusting to me, even foods that had pleasing textures to me have become a little bit gross. I don't think people understand that when extremely selective eaters have nothing they want to eat that they'll just… stop eating. No matter how hungry i get i won't eat anything, and this is becoming more of a problem lately… I'm pretty sure this would classify as an ED. If only any doctor wanted to give me actual help instead of saying "WOW this food is irresistible! How come you don't like it?! You're missing ooooout ;))" Like yeah, fucking thanks. Surely i haven't tried anything to get rid of this horrid selective eating, asshat.
I really really wish i was like everyone else and grew out of a picky eater phase, i feel like at this point it's a curse, or autism, maybe even an ED that i can't get rid of.
I'm the exact same way, so many foods repulse me and make me gag and it's uncontrollable, it really embarrasses me when people think I'm gagging on purpose to be dramatic but I literally can't help it.
I'm younger than you but it's still so embarrassing and I don't want to be like this at all. I hate when people act like I'm being bratty and get annoyed like "oh my god just try it!" like do you fucking think I want
to be this way? I hate it so goddamn much and it's such a source of anxiety for me, it creates so many awkward scenarios and I hate having anxiety anytime I get invited to lunch or dinner because then I have to worry about if there's gonna be anything I can eat there. I always need to look up the restaurant menu in advance to make sure I can find something I like. (The worst is when you order something at a restaurant because it seems like a safe food and when you get the meal you realize they added some random shit you don't like to it. Ugh.)
And I totally understand what you mean about even foods you can eat becoming unappealing, sometimes the prospect of eating in general annoys me and I'll just skip meals. If I could have anything in the world it would be the ability to not need food to survive, it's just a burden to me at this point.
I'm not fully into dev anymore but it really really depends where you're gonna land.
Usually the guys can be super awkward and don't know how to react around girls, especially younger ones right out of school, cause dev schools are still full of dudes. Again, some are gonna be decent!
Usually what happens is, if you're good, after a while they'll care more about what you produce than who you are.
Not really related, but I now work for a company that does super burly/construction work and the guys are actually lovely. Yeah they make dick jokes, and can be a bit stupid, but they're incredibly nice and welcoming.
I know how you feel. But I decided to pursue a career in IT anyway. I'm in the second semester of my course and it's fully online so I can't speak for classroom experiences.
I tried to avoid getting into this at all costs thanks to the horror stories but after trying two other courses I just said "fuck it" and I'm really enjoying learning to code. I hope you decide to go into it too if that's what you want. Don't let the possibility of men acting like shit stop you from pursuing what you really want in life.
I've been working in IT as a female programmer for 7 years now and quite honestly me and my female colleagues haven't faced that much sexism. Obviously there's going to be the one asshole brodude/old fart who thinks less of women but overall it's chill, the only really depressing thing is that being the only woman in the company singles you out a lot, especially during company parties. You know, guys wanting to talk guy stuff together and your presence making everyone awkward. The rare altright /pol/faggots who work in tech are usually too chicken shit to put their misogyny on full display in front of you.
But I've heard that law firms and banks are the worst place to be a woman and I don't doubt it for a second. Personally I avoid lawyers like the fucking plague.
Same. Had an abusive
relationship 5 years ago but I gave all of me. I was so affectionate I was clingy. Now with my new bf I hurt his feelings every day by being reserved and distanced. He knows me and has known me for 3 years so he doesn’t hold it against me. I’m his first relationship though so it’s like roles are reversed.
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Only 2 days into spring break and I already hate it. My mom's really complain-y (1 thing can set her off for hours) and for some reason she's really short tempered right now.
>We went out as a family
>Younger sibling ask for blister creme (cause she usaly caries it)
>Mom says sibling ruined her mood and complains about said sibling for ten minutes in front of there face.
> Say I'm thirsty out loud
>Mom goes on 20 minute rant on how she's not my slave and I should have planned ahead and got a water bottle
>Mom ask me to clean her white board while sitting (I wanted to stand)
>This gets her super pissed. (All I really did was ask why I had to sit. My voice wasn't sassy or anything. I don't have a single clue on how that set her off)
>She's so mad we had to reschedule all our plans for that day.
I'm also stressed out because she has some very specific triggers and Im spending most of the time avoiding them. Like one time when I was younger I messed up an insulin dosage (by .10) and my mom's started screaming at me 'Why do people even have kids? They just ruin your life' because of that I'm so godamn paranoid over my medical stuff. I feel a horrible sense of uneese if I can't see my meters. Her other triggers are
She made my family vegan and even though she cheats every time we go to an all-you-can-eat she thinks meat eaters are less than animals
>Telling her to calm down
This just makes her more angry and starts up her 'I'm brutally honest rant'
>Mentoning her family
Both my her and my dads side rarely talk to her for good reasons. My mom think a both are skum because both sides aren't vegan. She also refuses to visit my dads side on holidays because she needs a break from us.
She wants to buy a house in the middle of now where to be closer to her weird ass spiritual retreat. Like those people are crazy. They belive in heaven hell and reincarnation. My mom has also stated multiple times she gave birth to me 'so I could reach god'
I'm serously considering helping my dad at his store to avoid talking to her. My only hope is that I'm starting college this year.
Also this rant started as the first 2 days of spring break, bur it evolved into something more.
Honestly cosleeping makes breastfeeding so much easier to breastfeed, I found that it also made me worry a lot less during the night knowing that I can just cuddle my baby and he’s right next to me
But unlike what another anon said it won’t just be another few months most likely, it depends on multiple factors
- are you weaning them or are you letting them self-wean? If the latter be prepared to be breastfeeding until they’re about 2 as that’s when most children do
- what’s their sleep routine like? If they’re currently dozing off by being breastfed it’s going to take even longer for them to wean/want to leave your bed
- and finally, this is how they’ve learnt to sleep - with mum. If you want to stop cosleeping you have to take into account that this is what your baby has learnt and you’re essentially trying to reset their habits and learned comforts
I’ve cosleept with my kid since birth, he’s now two, and while it made so many things infinitely easier one of the worst was that all kids really are bed hogs and my partner wouldn’t shut up about it (I’d have more sympathy if it was cutting into his space or he had to sleep elsewhere, but no, I was sharing my half of the bed and he still had the audacity to complain). We’re trying to settle him into his own bed now that he’s weaned and have found that just putting his mattress right up next to ours is solving a lot of problems. Is there maybe any chance of you reworking your sleeping arrangement so that you all sleep in the same room but different mattresses?
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Entree level job market is so fucking brutal…
We’re living in a time where having a B.A. is a requirement for a measly $15/hr like bitch I made that much waiting table. The “we give u experience” thing is such a fucking lie to brainwash you into believing that you Want to be overworked and treated like shit.
Even after all that, you’re not even allowed the dignity of having a live in person interviews anymore. I have always relied on my personality to get me into places.
No matter how much they say they value personality and practical abilities, Every company want you to answer to fucking Siri now so they can sit back and listen to you panting like a desperate dog in heat on the recorder while they’re eating Chinese.
I feel like a commodity, a piece of merchandise. How is this any better than being a fucking whore?? At least being a whore, you don’t have to buy your way into it and not get paid for you labor.
Depends on the industry. For example, you can find many high paid people in the tech industry who actually have no formal education.
You have to be able to demonstrate some kind of value beyond "hey look I paid to go to school for 4 years." Like what exactly is it you have to offer?
I'd say so too… I find myself being bothered by tags and the texture of clothing more often than most people. Some things/people seem too loud too, usually cinema. Maybe it really is autism.>>400504
Good idea but i also want to find out what i have first.
Sounds like you should try to see a professional and ask them to assess you for autism, yeah. I have the symptoms you describe and I'm diagnosed on the spectrum.
If you want to think about this more before seeing a professional, I suggest reading about how autism manifests in females specifically, since it's different from the stereotypical male autist. A lot of women go undiagnosed because our symptoms don't seem "serious" enough compared to males, but they actually just go unnoticed more easily.
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>tfw everytime i mention anything innocent it reminds my bf of his trauma
I'm terrified I can't bring up anything without it reminding him. I was literally talking about pajamas and it reminded him. I feel like a fucking monster for always reminding him. He always tells me it's not my fault, but I'm the one who mentions this shit. I don't love him less that he has the past he does, and I try to support him any way I can, but I get so god damn angry at myself for reminding him of the past all the time. I don't know what to do anymore. I fucking hate myself. I'm going to be with this man for all eternity, and I'm such a horrible girlfriend. I'm a horrible girlfriend for always accidentally reminding him of his traumatic past. I feel so god damn guilty for dragging him down all the time. Fuck.
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I just mutually broke up with my boyfriend. It felt like the right thing to do. It hurts so much and we dated for over 3 years, we're still planning on living together for financial reasons. I know this is good for me but I've never been forced to be so mature and I feel like I'm completely alone. I hope I can find someone who will love me in a healthy way.
Have you considered putting the cot next to your side of the bed? This is what I did when my daughter out grew her bassinet at 8 months. It felt cruel to suddenly put her on the other side of the room when she was used to sleeping next to me. My husband had also noticed that she would watch me when I was asleep and listen to my breathing as a way of soothing herself. From when she was 12 months my husband gradually moved the cot away from my side of the bed so that she would slowly get used to not hearing my breathing all the time. She's 19 months now and we've started to settle her into her own room to sleep. So far it seems to be working. I breastfeed her downstairs and then take her upstairs to settle her in her own room. I do this by reading her a story or gently singing to her. I do still take her in bed with my husband and me when she's teething because I want to comfort her and I can't stand the thought of her being in pain and alone.
>>400693>women love abusive men because it means the man is strong and dominant
Weak men abuse their wives and girlfriends because they're frightened of not having control and being abusive
is the only way they can get it.
He was in therapy, but he was treated like shit by the office staff (basically called a crazy person and treated horribly) and now doesn't go to therapy anymore. He is very high-functioning and leads a normal life, it just feels like specifically things I do remind him…
It's not like I'm mad at him for having the past he does and having CPTSD, I have PTSD myself due to sexual abuse and sometimes little innocent things he does reminds me, but it feels like I remind him so much more often and it's difficult for me not to blame myself when he starts feeling like shit when I mention something really silly. I struggle with blaming myself enough and struggle with my own past, it's incredibly difficult to fight through that pain to comfort him when it feels like I caused the problem in the first place.>>400735
I guess it doesn't matter if I post about it since this is anonymous. He was horribly abused (both physically and mentally) as a child.
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I hate capitalism! I'm FUCKING suffering
Same, my grandma force-fed me raw tomatoes and chased me around the yard with a pot of baked beans. I would keep the gross food in my cheeks for hours because I'd get beaten up and screamed at if I spit it out. We were poor but even so my mom and grandma couldn't cook for shit yet always wanted me to compliment them on their cooking and would get mad if I didn't like what they made.
It was never proper meals, whenever I asked what's for lunch they would say "peas", "beans", "spinach". They'd boil a large pot of whatever legume or vegetable, add some bones for the flavour and olive oil, then boil that and put it in a plate and I would have that for lunch for up to 3 days. There wasn't a mix of foods, or any flavouring, any cheese or anything, it was just… boiled peas, or bean soup with chunks of chewy tendon or bone with bread on the side, or spinach with sour cream. Shitty moussaka with egg, potato and mince meat (nothing else in it) on a good day. Maybe a schnitzel every once in a while.
It was shit and I had no idea food wasn't supposed to be that bad because they acted as if it was fine dining and that's how everyone did their meals. I hated most of it and they'd get super butthurt then force feed me and then wonder why I don't want to eat and why I was underweight. It wasn't until I met my ex, who loved to cook, that I grew to love food and overcame my pickiness.
To this day I can't stand raw tomatoes, pea soup and I only eat baked beans with a fuckton of seasoning and a lump of feta cheese.
He's the one dragging you down. I've been sexually abused during my childhood but I don't expect anyone to even know or care let alone have them change their thinking patterns and monitor every word that comes out of their mouth. If anything he should be willing to approach the triggers
over time and replace the associations or else just enjoy being emotionally crippled whenever someone has a casual conversation with them.
Gamers are the fucking worst. I used to play competitively and I watched a colorblind guy get bullied out because he asked for a specific color (you can turn on team colors but that is not as good for pro level gaming, seeing your own units specifically on minimap is really helpful) and some asshat didn’t want to give it up for no reason and I was the only one who stood up to the others.
The misogyny is a whole other thing
I can understand complaining about the "easy mode" debate when it's pissbabies bitching about a run&gun game being "too hard:(" and that they're "missing out" on the game because they can't take more than 15 minutes to learn the basic mechanics of the game. With indie games it's especially insulting because a relatively small team put it together for years and designed the game to appeal to the fans of the genre with every little detail, and then some disrespectful douchebag wants to skip all the "hard parts" and finish the game without any effort because he's so used to interactive movies where you just have to press X every 5 minutes. IIRC Some journalist wanted Cuphead to have the option to "skip boss battles" because "he wanted to enjoy the artwork" when the fucking game is like 80% about beating the bosses and screamed ableism just to be petty and bitter.
But when it's just screeching about adding a sensible easy mode to make it easier for new players of the genre to join in, it's autistic.
I hope the colorblind guy stood up for himself at some point and told everyone to fuck off. I'm glad I only play sigle-player games when I read stories like this because I'm sure it happens a lot in multi-player games online.>>400874>and then some disrespectful douchebag wants to skip all the "hard parts" and finish the game without any effort because he's so used to interactive movies where you just have to press X every 5 minutes.
These people should just watch other people play games, either on youtube or twitch or with friends playing with them. That doesn't sound like video games in general would be a very fun hobby for them, unless they just stick to visual novels.
it's probably not you anon cuz most guys on online dating sites are more boring than a sack of rocks
blogpost but i met my current bf thru tinder and i've never been happier but it took going thru a lot of terrible first dates and a lot of very boring/uninterested men
it's cliche but you really do just have to wait and feel things out
I guess it’s just the nature of dating apps and I’m just currently frustrated with the whole process of going through a slew of boring and basic profiles and matching with disinterested men. I always end up getting discouraged and embarrassed by my lack of success and delete the apps only to go back to them. I’m a particular person so I guess finding someone isn’t really going to happen any time soon but just putting myself out there is better than nothing.>>400914
Maybe I do come off as too serious in my profiles. I do insert a tiny bit of dry humor in my profile because that’s how I am but I’ve been afraid of coming off as immature if I let myself go too much. I might have to rethink my profile bio because I wonder if it might be making me difficult to approach.
I wonder if he's dick sperg anon?
The persistence and repetition gives off the same energy. Guaranteed if you respond with "no, I am a woman and am not like this" he'll ignore you like he does about dick preferences.
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Things got worse.
Saturday a girl triggered
a panic attack on me, she was screaming at me that my best friend is a rapist, then she started going on graphically about her own trauma. I started crying and i was unresponsive for about 20 minutes, it didn't even seem that long.
Now i don't even a friend to trust and support me because apparently he's a fucking rapist, i can't look at him, much less to talk to him.
My boyfriend broke up with me, he said he loves someone else, i feel worthless. Its my fault, im the one who's too unlovable. I had made some gifts for him to try to make things better before but now i stare at them and cry.
I have nothing else to live for anymore, my dreams are impossible, and i think im too fucked mentally to live a good life.
Did you google the image you used for this situation or?
I hope you’re not dead.
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>mfw too normie for fandoms because I'm kind of a fujoshi but I can't stand teenage fakebois who try to control what grown women read and watch and other fujoshi who blame radical feminists for fandom drama
>too much of a nerd to not look for fandoms online because that used to be so much fun years ago and I miss it
>have nobody to talk to about video games and anime anymore because I want to talk to women and I almost only find cringy gamergate and anti-gamergate types, troons and assholes who act like they're on /v/ 24/7
What do I do? I'm on the verge on deleting my twitter because of this shit. All my mutuals when I created my twitter muted me or unfollowed me when I wasn't woke enough for their taste and I don't have a tumblr anymore because the website is just plain bad.
You are rude and gross, plus this is the vent topic.>>401008
Did you read the first post? I was sexually abused as a kid and i have pretty bad PTSD.>>401004
Won't be dead for a while.
Depending on which shows, books or video games you like you're probably stuck with even worse people than me. Stay strong anon. Just out of curiosity, which ones do you dislike less, the fujoshi or the neckbeards?>>401013
I don't know why but I never thought about doing this. I think I already have a Discord account I've never really used so I'll see who already posted in the thread.
Sexist neckbeards are obviously the worst, I only dislike being in a fujo sea because it feels lonely, their lives are devoted to ships I don't care about.
What fandoms are you in, maybe we share some?
It's been a while since I got into new manga and anime but some of my favorite are FMA, Fruits Baskets, Nana, Eyeshield 21, Black Butler (mostly the manga though), Tiger & Bunny, etc. Mostly things that are popular with the general public but with some weird fans. Same thing with TV series, I started Supernatural and liked it a lont but it has been months since I'm stuck in the middle of season 3 because of the lack of free time.
As for video games I mostly like JRPG like Pokémon and SMT. I like Nintendo games in general and I plan on getting into older PS1 games because I have a PSvita, like RE and FF. I'm getting into DMC as well. I love Ace Attorney too it's one of my favorite series of games.
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Numerous, embarrassing ads are why I'm glad GoT is ending.
are you in any position to have kids?
also >i'm gonna feel guilty about keeping this one
why are you not on birth control?
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Yesterday I drove in a city freeway when it was really busy for the first time. I cut someone off by accident and I felt so guilty that I could not sleep that night despite being exhausted. I literally could not stop thinking about what would’ve happened if they hadn’t hit the brakes on time, ridiculous driving scenarios, and how awful car accidents are.
It's dumb but Driving is fucking scary
Bin the tent but instead block lolcow and any other high risk sites from your internet access. >>400757
He really needs therapy if he's struggling that much even though he's scared of it.
But you might need some kind of counseling too at this rate, because the way you're blaming yourself for his reactions isn't healthy or good for either of you. You're trying your best already so when he gets upset at little unrelated things, it's not your fault or even within your control on a practical level. Would you want your partner to blame yourself if your own ptsd was triggered
by him just making you breakfast? You may as well start blaming yourself for bad weather, too.
Furthermore, whilst it's wonderful that you care enough about him to support him, your relationship doesn't sound like a relationship anymore. A partner that you can't freely talk to?
I understand that you love him, but I think you're taking on more than your fair share. Hopefully he can become more stable soon because forever with him like this sounds sad, for both him and you.
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So I ended an already garbage friendship a few months ago because I ended up developing the world's most retarded crush on him. I was planning on ending it before this anyways but still stuck around because ??? He was a garbage person and I knew that then and still fell for it. I feel like a massive idiot when I think about it but I just remind myself it was for the best.
I also haven't dated anyone in over 2 years and honestly have forgotten what other human touch feels like and it makes me so incredibly depressed when I think about it and I'd be so embarrassed to admit that to anyone in real life. I'm not ugly or anything but I waste all my time being alone when I'm not at work. I haven't had a good solid crush on someone since I was in early high school and I'm in my early 20s now and it scares me thinking about if I'll ever feel something like that ever again or if I'm just gonna go through the rest of my life having constant meh connections with people. I know its a problem I've created for myself and I'm getting better at trying to put a positive spin on things like this and tell myself I can find someone if I try and that I'm not gonna end up alone, but in the moment I still feel incredibly shitty.
here again, just lightly bumped my toe on something and a bunch of clear liquid came out, low key freaking out. it did look swollen so I'm guessing it's that but has never happened before and I'm bit worried!>>400071
I'm so sorry anon you also have to deal with this (albeit to a higher degree), ballet is is so ruthless honestly.
Thanks for the comfort anon. It ended up okay. He told me he understands my sadness over losing my only guest (I've just recently moved hours away from all my friends and he's the only person near me) so he's gonna try to instead celebrate a week early. In the end, I'm just lucky to have someone who cares.
I am very glad this turned into a happy vent.
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>match with guy on tinder, looks to be in 30s but idc I'm in late 20s
>decently attractive and my type, muslce thicc
>drives out to see me
>we go back to his place
>notice kid's stuff all over the place but he mentioned a roommate so I assume roomie's kids?
>I like his personality, very dom, wind up fucking the everloving fuck out of him
>has a good d
>drives me home today
>ask him about the kids
>says he's got three, 7,4, and 2, they're just not home bc they're with baby momma
Of fucking course they're his kids.
This is kind of what I hate about dating as I get older, because any guy worth a damn has reproduced at least once by his 30s. And idk, I just don't see a future getting involved with that. It makes me uncomfortable. I'd be okay just fucking him (granted he drives out to get me) but that's so shallow.
Also kind of peeved that some of these dudes don't mention their kids on their profiles, because I'd totally be swiping left on that shit regardless of how they look. And they know it too, they purposefully omit them.
>>401186>you could simply just ask before meeting them??? like??
Most normal people tend to mention them beforehand without the inquisition. I've definitely seen dating profiles mentioning who's a dad or have pictures with their kids. It wasn't an unreasonable assumption up until I walked into the house and saw the stuff, it didn't even pop into our conversation beforehand.
I mean gee, I guess for my next pre-fuck interrogation I'll ask but it's kind of my first encounter with a guy who definitely didn't want his kids to cramp his style.
fuck I hate this too.
I'm in the same situation late20s, though I luckily haven't slept with a single father, but I was so close to because the scumbag didn't mention it at all in our 2 weeks of dating. He would have probably kept it a secret haven't I accidentally saw the mother of kids dropping them off. You should have seen the look on his face when that happened. Piece of shit.
No matter how much I like the guy's personality and/or looks, all of that goes straight into the trash when he has kids.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Wish you could ban people on dating apps over omitting such crucial info.
>>401190>I mean gee, I guess for my next pre-fuck interrogation I'll ask
lol ok, it's "interrogating" people to just ask if they have kids or want them, etc. if you're looking for a partner over the internet, establishing shit like that, whether you want kids, etc, is pretty typical before meeting, and is like, first conversation material, especially if you're adamant about them not having them. i guess you and the other anon just meet men over the internet without really getting to know them at all.
nta, but when you first meet someone, you go for ice breakers and learning about their hobby and stuff. You're not doing a job interview. It goes without saying that people ought to state they have kids if they're planning to have a serious relationship.
That anon didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't her fault she was duped by a slime.
Also, in my case, we were getting to know each other for 2 weeks and there was not even a hint that he had kids, no toys or anything.
He did say he would like to start a family if he finds someone suitable, so fuck you with your presumption that I or the other anon don't do a whole background check on someone.
Next time I'll hire a private detective or better yet I won't date at all.
Yeah, it's a little sucky but live and learn.>>401195
I'm not sure why you're trying to pin this on me entirely but it's abnormal behavior, male or female, to not disclose kids beforehand. Nobody has reason to ask about kids on the first meet unless there are pictures or a written statement about them. Most parents who are proud of their kids and aren't ashamed of their decisions have no trouble mentioning them and making sure the person they're seeing is comfortable with that.>especially if you're adamant about them not having them
I said dating people with children from previous relationships makes me feel uncomfortable.>>401199
I feel you anon, no worries. I'm not sure what that anon's problem is.
Can you imagine if the roles were reversed a woman lied about her children to a man? We'd never hear the end of it on the internet.
>>401196>>401199>nta, but when you first meet someone, you go for ice breakers and learning about their hobby and stuff. You're not doing a job interview
no, i don't think most people looking for decent people to date long term do that. that's incredibly stupid and a waste of time and an excellent way to get harmed by indiscriminately getting yourself into potentially risky situations with online strangers just to waste 2 hours listening to him talk about his mandolin playing or warhammer figurine painting because making sure there's fundamental compatibility before meeting up with a man is = "a job interview" to you guys. it's not "a whole background check" to determine base compatibility before meeting up with men on dating sites. >>401201
no, it's not all on you at all. i'm just shocked that you guys think it's normal to waste time on strange men for the purpose of dating, without ascertaining whether or not they're compatible with you. and he didn't really lie lie. most men are scuzzy and i would 100% expect this of men. i would say there are legitimate reasons for women to not immediately bring up their children. it depends on what you're looking for. but if you know most men already have kids in their 30s, and knowing that men aren't typically the primary caretakers, especially when plenty of them don't actually even want to be fathers, i'm just saying, it makes a lot of sense to ask them questions about children, wanting them, having them, etc, especially considering the fact that men are dangerous. you guys are apparently trying to excuse wasting inordinate amounts of time on strange men without asking substantial questions because "it's not a job interview!!". imo i wouldnt dare meet up with someone without establishing that they're foundationally compatible
>>401205>just to waste 2 hours listening to him talk about his mandolin playing or warhammer figurine painting
Lmao, awful specific example it's hilarious. Did this happen to you anon?
>and he didn't really lie lie
It's called lying by omission and a lot of people who know they'd be rejected for being single parents hide the fact that they have kids for the other person to discover later.
Fortunately for anon it was just one night and the first time they've experienced a skeevy lying single parent.
No, I'm not the poster saying everyone's good bf's are doing the "bare minimum."
Urges to post shit there actually inspired this vent since I don't
want to be that person.>>401105
Thank you, I might actually look into a workbook for the time being. I've never heard of it before but it looks like it would help.
I'm probably going to start avoiding things that set me off, too. For now.
>>401212>Lmao, awful specific example it's hilarious. Did this happen to you anon?
no, i just know how boring men are and i'd rather eat paint chips than pretend to be interested in some strangers autistic hobby without knowing that we're otherwise compatible, without knowing he doesn't have a stupid-ass rape or anal fetish, without knowing all of the potentially undesirable interests he has (plenty of the time men are socially retarded and will write at length about their retarded/undesirable fetishes if you just ask directly, so it's easier to weed them out)
>they'd be rejected for being single parents hide the fact that they have kids for the other person to discover later.
there's plenty of reason for people to not mention their kids though without being asked, especially if they're single mothers. but anyways, my point is, you guys should really be assuming that the men online aren't going to offer all of their inconvenient circumstances and less than stellar or less than typically acceptable opinions or habits or desires, on a platter without asking directly, and you guys should honestly be directing the conversation and asking the important questions before wasting time on warhammer bullshit and meeting strange and potentially dangerous men, especially considering the fact that plenty of men are opportunists and users and limiting your exposure to random strange men is best. anons are obviously calling asking directly about kids "a job interview" and "a pre-fuck interrogation" comparable to "hiring a private detective", so it's obvious that they're getting little information about these men before meeting them
>>401217>there's plenty of reason for people to not mention their kids though without being asked
What reason for a single male to do it? Other than to lie and attract a woman who would otherwise be put off?>men are boring and incompatible, something something warhammer
What's even the point of bringing this up? Anon said she liked him.
She didn't like him not being forward about having kids and that seems to be the only albeit serious issue.
>>401227>>401227>What's even the point of bringing this up? Anon said she liked him.
she knew nothing about him and she's going to his house and sleeping with him, and calls asking about kids a "pre-fuck interrogation". you're naive af if you expect all people, let alone all men, to just bring up their kids on their own. plenty of men only see their kids once a month and don't think they're relevant and/or don't even want them, or don't see them at all. that's the point. this dude is far from being the only scuzzball on tinder and he likely has a fuckton more flaws/defects, and she's likely to encounter much worse men with all kinds of personality defects, none of which are fleshed out by putting yourself in jeopardy and wasting time to physically meeting up with men just to talk about hobbies. hell, a large portion of men "looking for serious relationships" aren't looking for serious relationships at all and have no real incentive to tell women about their children, and those that don't say that they're looking for anything but casual sex aren't really any bit obligated to disclose whether or not they're parents unless prompted, anyways. i wouldn't if i was only looking to sleep around and not be serious. idk why you guys are shocked that men ONLINE aren't completely forthcoming and are adamantly insisting it's a good idea to indiscriminately meet up with lots of men you could potentially be interested in, knowing little about them, just to talk about hobbies or sleep with them.
>>401236>>401236>>401236>seriously, why are you victim blaming here?
once again, if you're out here calling asking about having kids a "pre-fuck interrogation", it's obvious she's not asking much about him at all before meeting him. going to his house to meet him is also a terrible idea. it's not victim
blaming. it's called "being cautious about meeting men online"? she's met this guy on tinder, anyways, literally the worst vehicle to meet men that are long term material, and if he is on tinder to hook up, no one, male or female, has any obligation to bring up the fact that they're a parent, because unless stated otherwise, it's likely that they'd be looking for hookups and there's no reason to mention the fact that you have children if you're only looking to fuck someone a few times? when you're looking to sleep around, it doesn't necessitate mentioning your children, honestly.
>it won't help if the guy is a liar or a psychopath
anon, you're delusional if you think it's not less risky to already ask the nitty gritty directly, before meeting up with bushels of rando online men, thereby weeding out the general undesirables/incompatibles before you have to put yourself in danger by meeting them physically, multiple times, just before getting to the important shit. by not already getting all of the important shit out of the way before meeting them, you're setting yourself up for disappointment or danger. the point is, we don't know whether or not he would have lied because she didn't ask, and the other anon is insisting it's completely healthy to waste hours physically meeting up with online strangers to just talk about hobbies because insisting knowing about anything else beforehand, or during that first meeting, is "a job interview".
She knew enough about him to want to hook up, and it's not her fault nor her problem that he hid that he has kids.
I've read your posts and you have a habit of projecting and putting words into anon's mouth, like this new argument about a "serious relationship." Why can't anon say she was put off and uncomfortable by the fact that she didn't know he had children without you twisting the narrative like she was already considering him a marriage candidate? For pete's sake.
>>401241>no one has any obligation to bring up the fact that they're a parent, because they'd be looking for hookups
We're at a disagreement here and that's that.
You excuse dishonest behavior.
>>401242>can't anon say she was put off and uncomfortable by the fact that she didn't know he had children without you twisting the narrative like she was already considering him a marriage candidate?
your reading comprehension is kind of shitty. that's not at all what i was saying. i was just making the example that men lie and that there are even men that claim they want serious relationships who often don't actually want real relationships, and so they have no incentive to mention their kids without you asking them. some are just opportunists trying to reel in easy sex. i never said anon was looking for a serious relationship, i was saying that people pretending to want a relationship are sometimes actually just looking for casual encounters and so they have no incentive to bring up their children themselves because they don't intend to keep the person around. >>401244>We're at a disagreement here and that's that. >You excuse dishonest behavior.
lmfaoooo. you're a complete fool. you think people who just want to hook up with other people who want to hook up, need to tell you they're a parent, without you even asking? there's nothing dishonest about someone who is looking for hookups, not mentioning to some other rando that is also looking for a casual encounter, unprompted, that they're a parent. you have no involvement or relevance to their life as a parent and you're not obligated to know about their children. this is legitimately a safety issue for peoples kids in some cases and people can and have used children as leverage and as emotional blackmail. if you're intending to fuck someone once or twice, no, there's absolutely nothing dishonest about not bringing up your children, unprompted. it'd be dishonest if you were directly asked, but anon didn't directly ask. it's not lying by omission in a case where someone is just looking for a one night stand or something, and doesn't bring up their kids to their one night stand without being asked. if you TRULY don't want the person you fuck casually, and who also expects the relationship to be casual, to not have kids, it's your responsibility to ask directly, because if they're expecting to never see you again, their being a parent isn't relevant to you, and if it were such a dealbreaker for you, you'd make sure to ask.
Ah, there you are. This is for you >>401260
No, some people don't want to casually hook up or have sex with men who have children. It's very much relevant and completely not the responsibility of someone new to ask a pointed question as to whether they have a kid when they otherwise present themselves as bachelors.
This has gotta be a scrote.
>>401260>>401260>So let's call women treating men like competent adults 'fools' instead of holding men accountable for their misbehavior.
what i was calling you a fool about was a totally different thing. i didn't call you a fool about them explicitly lying about wanting a serious relationship.
i called you a fool to demand and expect that people mention their children and the fact that they're parents, COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED, to people who are also looking for a one night stand. there's no misbehavior in someone not mentioning their children to someone who only wants to fuck them once or twice. if it's a COMPLETE DEALBREAKER for your one night stand to have kids, then it's honestly your responsibility to ask.
>Seriously, are you a single momma who pulls this shit?
no, i'd never have kids, but i'm not a dumbass that's so naive that they'd expect anyone, male or female, but especially male, to mention the fact that they have kids, unprompted, to someone they don't intend to speak to for long at all.
>when there's handmaidens like you
kek, okay, it's 'handmaiden'-y to expect men, who are already shady af, to not offer everything about themselves unprompted to people they expect to never see again. it's handmaiden-y to be realistic about the fact that men are predators and encourage women to ask questions directly to weed out undesirables before physically meeting up with tons of men only to later find their lifestyles, desires, or ideals aren't compatible, thereby lowering your risk of encountering a creep or predator? and especially to not know anything about them before just going literally to a stranger's houses and fucking him? it's ACTUALLY handmaiden-y as fuck to be so delusional to pretend men are generally so great that it's safe enough to ask 0 questions about men you meet online and consequently, have to meet up with a fuckton more men because you decide to make meeting them in person multiple times is the only appropriate time to ask them the fundamental questions and that anything else is a comparable to hiring a private detective. only handmaidens have such delusional ideas about the benevolence of men that they'd be down for meeting assloads of random strangers multiple times before actually trying to learn about them.
yes, you're right the children are more likely to be at risk in the case of women meeting up with men (and i already said as much) but even still, there are definitely men who don't want the fact that they're parents involved in their casual sex life to be used as leverage in the case of an overly attached fuckbuddy or something. regardless, again, if their being a parent is such a dealbreaker FOR YOU, for casual sex, you should be asking, because, again, their being a parent isn't relevant to your sleeping with them once. >>401263>No, some people don't want to casually hook up or have sex with men who have children.
right, if that's a dealbreaker, they should be asking, because sleeping with someone once doesn't involve the fact that they're parents and so plenty of people don't see the need to bring up the fact that they're parents to randos, completely unprompted, when they have no intention of seeing them again.
>It's very much relevant and completely not the responsibility of someone new to ask a pointed question as to whether they have a kid
for plenty of people it would not be a dealbreaker if someone had a kid, if they both intend to only sleep with each other once or twice or whatever. again, if this is a specific dealbreaker, i'd say when dealing with men who just expect you guys to fuck once or twice, especially, they have no incentive to tell you that they have children unprompted, and no obligation, really, and if you want to save yourself the time and aggravation, you should be asking men about your specific dealbreakers directly if they're that important to you. anons are literally saying asking about kids is a "pre-fuck interrogation" or a "job interview". they're not directly asking any questions about their absolute dealbreakers and are shocked that men on literal hook up apps aren't disclosing that they're parents unprompted
You can keep throwing around namecalling, but friendly reminder that the only men hiding that they're parents are men who don't want their dates to know because it'll decrease their chances.
Go ahead, wall of text me again.
You don't have much room to complain when you validate them by using male pronouns.
Honestly how the fuck do people expect anything to change when they're so terrified of offending these idiots that they won't call them by their real gender? Even anonymously online in a radfem majority community? We're just going to stay silent and let them walk all over us, I guess.
If it wasn't at least majority radfem leaning if not actual radfem the place would be overrun with sex posi libfems and trannies and men would be welcome. There are multiple gender crit/radfem threads, do you think it's only a small amount of posters keeping them so active?
Regardless, the point is that this is not a place you will get bitched at for calling a ftm 'she'.
I suspect they lurk here (they often rant about all the radfem haterzz on "4chan type boards") but throw a dart at any known troon and that's basically them. Hypersexual degenerate weeb who whines about killing themselves a lot. >>401367
You hit the nail on the head. I could see it coming from a mile away.
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I fucking hate korean beauty standards. My mom is the prettiest woman I know and yet my family calls her ugly because her jaw and cheekbones are slightly too big.
Korean plastic surgery is some scary shit.
Hope you tell your mom how pretty you think she is.
I think the real reason transgender people annoy me so much is this: To be at the point where you want to be seen as another gender, and also want your personal issues to be recognized within feminism (and women's spaces), you kind of have to be living in an ivory tower, ignorant to the shit women feel and go through. And the type of ignorance I'm referring to is on a level that even normal misogynists/handmaidens don't touch.
How fucking entitled can you get? Why is it women's problem if a man has personal body issues and isn't being seen how he wants to be seen? Women are dying, going through domestic violence, being raped, having their bodily autonomy snatched away from them, being mutilated from birth, but you want to come in with "Ok but I can't use a women's bathroom and it makes me sad also pls don't talk about your uteri it makes me feel bad also lesbians pls have sex with me even though i was born male uwu". I used to support trans people because I realized gender was harming people, but before you try and highlight how the concept of gender is repressive, you have to understand and deconstruct sex-based oppression. TiMs won't do that because 1) it doesn't affect them and 2) in typical male fashion, they don't care about actual women at all. In fact, they'd rather enforce gender even more, for the sake of their own personal validation. It's so selfish.
I wouldn't even care much if they kept to themselves, just tried to peacefully live their lives and left us alone. But so many of them can't and won't do that. Everything has to be about them, and liberals buy it because they, too, live in ivory towers where women's actual problems are far away from their daily lives and don't really matter as much as men's feelings.
TiFs just strike me as women who want to escape the struggle of being a woman by "becoming" men. This wouldn't bother me if they didn't go on to take their internalized misogyny like a loaded gun and launch it at "cis" women constantly to get a leg up.
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In a few years her skin is going to sag because there's no bone support anymore. This means even more surgeries. I think Korea's obsession with non-existent jaws is hilarious. They all want to look like mouth breathers kek
Your mom is fine, big cheekbones and a chiseled jaw are very beautiful!
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i believe i have undiagnosed autism and it is ruining my life. i struggle intensely with any kind of socialization and have a bad habit of going full blown NEET when life becomes too overwhelming, which doesn't take a lot. i have no concept of reading other people's emotions and rely on tone of voice which i also fuck up constantly. it seems like my emotions can only go from 1 to 10 and i dont know how to get myself out of these moods without abusing some kind of substance but i am afraid to even try to go to a therapist because it is already hard enough to diagnose autism in women.
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SHUT UP ABOUT GAME OF THRONES
I ain't gonna watch it if you don't make me watch the episodes with assault!! I won't read it if you censor the assault!! I'm a fucking victim and I'm so sick of it I don't want to support this shitty series I'm not interested. I get it sucks you want me to enjoy it too because you like it but goddamn!! Every day!! I can't wait for this shit series to end already so I don't have it shoved in my face nonstop. Not to mention apparently the chara who's a kid the entire series turned eighteen and they IMMEDIATELY have her fucking.
i'm so glad i'm not the only one on this godforsaken planet that could not give a rat's ass about mother fucking game of thrones. it's all my friends are demanding i watch nowadays and it makes me want to pull my fucking hair out.
we'll get through this together, anon, it's the last season. it'll all be over, soon.
*crucifies as much>>401414
We have found our people, anon.
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Last summer one of my old coworkers visited work mostly to grab drinks with the bartender, since the majority of everyone working there is in their 20’s we usually grab drinks after our last shift of the week. When I worked with him he was really relaxed and friendly one of the only guys that didn’t give me shit for being anxious often and overall was a really casually supportive and easy to talk too, despite not really ever having long conversations with him. So it REALLY sucked that he got extremely drunk and started to act really sexual to me and whispering to me and trying to rub or touch my back. Idk like it made me feel sick to my stomach because of what a personality shift it was and he said some really freaky stuff about how I had been the focus of a really sexual conversation between all the guys at work. It’s tough to talk about because I don’t want people to think I’m upset about someone finding me attractive or something it’s more of just seeing that someone can act so normal to my face and then seeing me as something to fuck idk? It’s kind of relevant that my first “sexual”experience was being raped so I’m already really uncomfortable with sex but it still fucks me up thinking about it. It went on for a really long time and he left and came back trying more aggressively to get me to come with him. It’s a longer more detailed story then this but I haven’t gotten to talk about it seriously at all.
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I somehow got fleas in my apartment and I don’t even keep pets. I always keep my place clean too. Diatomaceous earth and lavender oil have helped only a tiny bit at most and I’m seriously sick of getting new bites. I started watching videos of flea circuses due to how pissed off I’m at toward these jumpy motherfuckers.
You and me both. I also hate when people make plans at the last minute, because I need a few days to mentally prepare for anything. It's distressing to me to have to cancel my routines, even if all I was going to do was clean up my house and eat alone, in peace. I also hate to watch people in the eyes, which makes me seem cold, rude, or uninterested. I do try to do it, but sometimes I forget.
I relate immensely to the "going NEET when life is overwhelming" but honestly I don't mind it too much. If I need some time to recharge, then I need it.
I wish I could get diagnosed, but the process is hard and I'm already an adult. I feel like no one would take me seriously. It sucks cause I'm pretty sure it would make my life easier. At least people/my workplace would understand why I act like I do and why some things are exhausting to me.
Do you have family members you trust and who live near you ? Very close friends who will be in your life for a long time ? If so, you would be a single parent in name, but your children would still get "parenting" from more than one adult. What matters isn't so much to have the stereotypical family structure, it's that there's more than one adult, more than one parenting style, more nuance in the parenting. A lot of cultures have family units built on absent fathers being replaced by a grand-mother, or grand-parents or adult siblings taking up the parental roles entirely.
I also worry about extreme, manipulative ideologies getting to my future children. I think the only thing we can do is teach our children to think critically and not blindly accept everything they're told, as well as encourage them to ask us about any ideology/politics they hear about. They'll still get dumb phases, but it's more likely to even out as they get older. Most people I know who fell into either extreme of the political spectrum were raised either to really not discuss anything political, or to blindly believe what their parents told them about it, without questioning anything.
I hate being tall so much, I just want to be cute and girly. People have being calling my body modelesque and sexy, etc since I was just a child, but I don't want that. I am a feminist but sometimes I just would like to be able to say things like "that's too heavy for me" or other pathetic shit all other girls are say to guys as well. But if I did that everybody would know that I'm lying. Doesn't help that girls around me also like to point out my height and strenght and ask me to help them - which I of course can't deny them.
We have a gigantic garden and my fathers's "hobby" is building houses. Again, since I was just in primary school I already had to help him work outside or on the construction sites, doing adult men's jobs, carry wood, stones and furniture. What would he have done if he had a daughter who's just normal height? And then complaining why I'm such a tomboy, people have never even given me the chance of trying to be or look feminine.
I know that I need to get over this, but I can't, since every day I'm being reminded of this flaw again and again…
Like another anon said, just dress/act how you see fit regardless of build. I’m quite petite and have an hourglass but my personality is what matters in the end so I still dress quite androgynously and give off a more intimidating vibe despite it being a bit jarring in contrast to my build.
I believe in you anon, go be a tall feminine cute girl - tbh you have an advantage in dressing femininely in that your legs are long and will flatter all dresses/flowing pants
I feel you anon. I also have broad shoulders and a larger chest size which isn't huge but it makes me look massive in the upper part of the body and just makes being tall as a woman so much worse.
People like to remind me too how statuesque I look but I feel that it's the only compliment they can think of. Guys despite larping on the internet, irl they always go for way shorter girls. Short girls are considered feminine while the only thing we can hope for or be useful for is a walking clothing hanger.
I've been dieting for a while but I just can't seem to achieve that frail look that petite women naturally have.
I do consider myself a feminist so I'm deeply ashamed for aspiring to become conventionally beautiful. I used to be okay with being a tomboy but for whatever reason I want to change.
People always want that they don't have. I know it's easier said than done but try not to see it as a flaw. Most models are tall and society regards them as beautiful und feminine.
A friend of mine is really small and cute btw, but putting stuff up in the overhead bins in planes and stuff like that is impossible for her. She hates how she always has to ask for assistance.
You're already not anonymous to the lolcow administration.
Another anonymous person isn't going to match up what you're saying here to your actual persona unless you use specific or provincial words or type misnomers that most people don't do.
While I don't wear makeup often, I actually already dress rather feminine and I have very long hair - nevertheless, most men don't really "see" me as a girl. Meanwhile the shorter girls around me can wear just casual stuff like tshirts or hoodies and are still perceived as cuter and more girly than I am. If I style myself too overly feminine, then I just seem more mature and older than I really am - which isn't really cute and something I want.
With enough makeup and practice I could probably reach looking womanly and "matronly" or something like that, but never cute, approachable and desireable in the eyes of guys my age..
>>401553>Meanwhile the shorter girls around me can wear just casual stuff like tshirts or hoodies
Nah, that actually makes us look really slobby and dumpy.
Men don't like makeupless hobbits by default. We also have to try pretty damn hard, and heaven help the shortstacks who are cursed with broad shoulders and other bold features who don't have the blessing of height to balance some of it out.
Just be you anon, the grass isn't always greener.
>>401546>Guys despite larping on the internet, irl they always go for way shorter girls. Short girls are considered feminine while the only thing we can hope for or be useful for is a walking clothing hanger.
Exactly. I hate the "but men like models!" statement so much - because it never applies to women irl. Both genders always only see me as something useful. For once I would like people to help me instead of always having to help others.
I'm not big or muscular, yet people have always expected me to be strong and capable, to achieve good results (not only in sports) etc, based on my tall height alone. The sad thing is, even when I managed to starve myself down to a lower weight than even most short women have, instead of finally looking petite I only looked like a lanky skeleton. It really seems impossible.
I still remember back then as a child how jealous I was of my female friends, how they wore pink dresses, did ballet and were still allowed to sit on there parents lap, meanwhile I had to wear ugly adult clothes and was already as tall as my mother. My achievements in school were downplayed so often as well, because "well of course she's good, she has such long legs" or because people simply thought I must be older than the other children. >>401550
How often do people fly? I honestly would prefer having to ask for help once a year over being treated like a guy 24/7.>>401554
Slobby and dumpy can look cute though. If you're short and broad, you might look ugly, but at least still like a girl.
If I were to dress in dumpy clothes (not that anything oversized even exists for somebody like me) then I could pass for a guy, if it wasn't for my face and hair.
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I'm losing my job on SAT and I really need money quick and fast so I'm forced to work for Amazon. I truly don't want to at all, I've heard nothing but horror stories at this company. But they hire immediately and you get paid weekly.. I keep chanting in my head that this is only temporary but I know this place is most likely going to drive me insane. I need to get another job as soon as I can because fuck I don't think I'll last at t his place. So many people describe it as a concentration camp.
I feel like I’m reading a post by my mother made 30 years.
My dad is terrible with decorating. It doesn’t get better. The only reason by the entire house isn’t completely overrun is because of my mom and me.
And we still have to take down and remove the ugly bullshit he buys almost weekly.
Hope you have better luck.
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Reminds me of this post. Most likely fake but…watch out.
there's a guy who sits in front of me in art history and he smells so fucking bad it distracts me from the class.
if its like normal b.o. i honestly dont mind that much but he has this disgusting sour smell that i cant get out of my nose for hours afterward.
i honestly hate him at this point.
seems fishy to me
Like an excuse a guy would make to cheat on his live in girlfriend/wife
I worry about this too.
I know mods can see our post history but I doubt I know any irl so I don't care about that, but I worry that people I do know will recognise my shitposting and judge me. Even more concerning is when an anon that sounds like me or describes the same life details I have posts something controversial.
Logically I'm not interesting for anyone to care what I post, but I have definitely seen posts in the past and suspected I knew the poster.
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I need to rant because I just came from the Venus thread and i'm just annoyed some anons were saying Japan is a super safe place for women when there is such a high sexual assault/rape issue there. (and police do nothing about it.)
I had a friend who lived near me go there to be a teacher and she was followed home from a bar and raped in her own home. Guys follow women there all the time and grope them, etc. It just bothers me for some random anons to say Japan is safer than america or canada when it really is extra scary for women.
After spending time as an ignorant libfem (the social norm), in radfem circles, and lurking alt-right boards - I've come to the realisation that there is no point in caring about society in any meaningful way. It's practically impossible to influence huge groups of people on purpose, it's pretty much down to whatever society deems acceptable enough to exploit for capitalist gain. Radfem will never catch on because it would eradicate the sex trade, beauty industry, diet industry, etc. Alt-right will never catch on because removing women from the economy would be a disaster for corporations. Libfem is perfect because every stupid whim can be catered for - as they sit on Twitter denouncing colonialism, capitalism, and plastic straws whilst a poverty-stricken Asian person works a 16hr shift for pennies, packing the tacky plastic DDLG crap they bought on Amazon into more plastic and sending it by aeroplane halfway across the world. People are entirely too selfish to ever want to change anything, and so I quit caring. I want to enjoy my life, engage with my husband about something other than social politics, raise my daughter to be happy and kind and not care about any of this bullshit (without leading her down the libfem path). Morals are literally worthless in a world that doesn't value them.
There are people in all different interests/hobbies/fandom turning each one into "an embarrassing obsession", especially when it comes to anime-related stuff, so that's probably not the best standard to judge by.
A lot of girls seem to hate on fujos specifically as a way to pull a "not like the other girls" thing and endear themselves to men who think yaoi is gross. Why else would girls be disgusting for liking yaoi, but men constantly sexualising female friendships and creeping on lesbians is ~pure yuri love~ ?
I'm patiently awaiting for the thread about males who shove their gross waifufaggotry and yuri obsession everywhere. Absolutely no one can convince me fujoshi are "worse", it's just that we're all used to letting men get away with being disgusting freaks, as if it's natural. As soon as women get even close, though, everyone starts screaming and yelling. Why are the standards different? If we're going to let the internet (and society) be full of sexual degenerates, why can't women be allowed to join in the rot? Why are we only permissive to male gaze?
I know such a thread will never exist and that even if it does get made, it'll be locked and relegated to our all-purpose man hate thread, but the fact that nobody has ever even tried kind of proves your point. Mental handmaidenry buried deep in the subconscious.
>>401715>Why else would girls be disgusting for liking yaoi, but men constantly sexualising female friendships and creeping on lesbians is ~pure yuri love~ ?
Why do fujos like you always assume the women who criticise them have nothing against men fetoshising lesbians? Is it a coping mechanism?
I've been a fan of anime for over a decade, I saw enough to form my opinion on fujos and know why you're mocked. It's disgusting because the characters are equally infantilized as women in male oriented porn, because anal is glorified while lubrication and anatomy are treated as jokes, established popular male characters get turned into out of character helpless and incompetent bottoms or suddenly edgy tops, the overuse of rape etc. Then we get to the nasty stuff like mpreg implications, omegaverse, shotacon, bestiality, amputation…
There's an obvious difference between fans who occasionally enjoy BL because gay romances are normal and those who make their identity revolve around the porn and shipping. Some LGB works by adult women are pretty good and I enjoyed them, but when you say rotten girl my image is that of Ciel shotacons, ridiculously loud BakugouxDeku shippers, Osomatsu-san fans with weird fetishes (especially incest), people who enjoy Killing Stalking, DMMD, Togainu no Chi, fangirls who argue that Kakyoin and Jotaro are gay because of??? (not to mention ridiculous fanworks like that CLAMP doujin where he lays an egg) and so on
>but uwu men started first, muh female sexuality, you have the outdated image of fujos
>>401727>Why do fujos like you always assume the women who criticise them have nothing against men fetoshising lesbians? Is it a coping mechanism?
NTA, but then where are your threads, sis? Where are the blogs dedicated them? Where are the passive-aggressive social media posts?
How come you only go this hard on the female equivalent to cringy neckbeards, and stay mostly silent on male ones? Even here, you could only muster one sentence vaguely mentioning them. If the issue is that this shit is all gross, the disgust should be equal opportunity. So, what's really going on?
>>401724>If we're going to let the internet (and society) be full of sexual degenerates, why can't women be allowed to join in the rot?
Great way to fix society, sis. You think people tolerate those men because they have an easy way of forming circles on 4chan and reddit and because they're a majority in their anime groups.>>401729
1. The topic was about fujos, not yurifags, just because somebody else's shit stinks harder doesn't mean yours doesn't stink.
2. Why should I post about yurifags on here when the anime threads are dead, man hate is mostly about real life news and I didn't see the anti Japanese pop culture/weaboo hate threads in ages?
3. Does it make you feel any better that I call scrotes out on their bullshit when I encounter them? Nope that means nothing because you need to use the lack of my posting about it on this board as an excuse.
So what should I do? Make fun of that troon that named himself after a love live character and writes fanfics about a precure character lactating chocolate milk? Complaining about the infantilization and glorification of girls' lives in moe anime? Why would I do it on this board when the neckbeards aren't here and when the anime topics are often empty?
>>401727>ecause anal is glorified while lubrication and anatomy are treated as jokes, established popular male characters get turned into out of character helpless and incompetent bottoms or suddenly edgy tops, the overuse of rape etc.
Where?? Back in 2005? If you are not a fujo and don't consume fujo fanworks yourself, how are you an authority on this?
The vast majority of fanfic about male ships is NOT explicit, so any criticism about the sex scenes doesn't apply to about 75% of it. You can easily check this yourself on ao3 as they show the numbers for every category, explicit and mature are the smallest while while teen and gen are by far the biggest. You can also check the warnings- rape is a tiny minority of fic and rarely ever applies to the main ship. Or the tags, where fluff is always the biggest.
Based off actual statistical data on the most popular site for fujos, most of these young girls you have a vitriolic hatred for use their supposedly creepy nasty fetishes to put a whole lot of time and effort into writing fluffy slow build stories about mutual pining that mostly use romcom tropes and feature no sex at all. They also try very hard to give shitty 2 dimensional anime characters depth by elaborating on their backstories and motivations and so on (not that they are great writers or anything, but even the worst writers attempt this). As a whole, it's fucking harmless. Compared to men, fujos are goddamn angels with the utmost love and respect for the male characters they write about. Fujos with extreme obsessions and gross fetishes are, surprise surprise, a minority.
I mean the Sangwoo fans are annoying*
I posted this too early
>>401731>Great way to fix society, sis.
Yes, the fujo cringe thread is doing so much to fix society, lmao. Come off it already.>You think people tolerate those men because they have an easy way of forming circles on 4chan and reddit and because they're a majority in their anime groups.
And what are you doing about that, since you're clearly invested in being mad about degeneracy (but for whatever reason, the main focus is female degeneracy)?
The point is, you make it a point not to talk about the other group. I'm not just speaking of you as an individual, but an overarching trend of people who complain about fujoshi keep mum on yurifags and other assorted basement dwellers. Like I said, where are the blogs, threads and social media posts dedicated strictly to complaints about them?
I'm not even a "fujoshi", I just think the obsession with them by certain people reeks of something other than mere disdain for autism. The way you're getting defensive doesn't help your point. #2 could be used to shut down all discussion of fujoshi, as well, but here we are. Somehow, it's only one group that makes some people froth this hard, and it's the one with the women. It just looks real funny is all.
It doesn't help that half the people doing it are fakebois/FtMs who are literally just fujoshi themselves LARPing 24/7.>So what should I do? Make fun of that troon that named himself after a love live character and writes fanfics about a precure character lactating chocolate milk? Complaining about the infantilization and glorification of girls' lives in moe anime?
It's not a matter of "should", it's "Why wouldn't you?". What's the difference? Why is it one group that gets you this tight? You claim to hate both, but there's a certain, very clear disfavor toward one very specific one. Like I said, what's really going on? Because I know it's not just the Killing Stalking spergs. Things are looking a little more biological than that.>Why would I do it on this board when the neckbeards aren't here >neckbeards aren't here
Were you asleep during all the times we were raided by them or something?>when the anime topics are often empty?
This should be one reason why discussing fujoshi is moot, but you do it anyway. Hmm…
>>401734>Compared to men, fujos are goddamn angels with the utmost love and respect for the male characters they write about.
Not buying that shit after seeing so many of the characters I love get laughed at for their pain or sexualized for it, get shipped with guys they don't like and have it called canon, and I won't start on the porn.
They are better than the average neckbeard on 4chan but I don't have the patience for their bullshit, especially when they play victim
and display internalised misogyny like the one on here that keeps saying it's gay to watch/read porn with a man and a woman. Fujos that actually respect characters and don't infantilize them are a minority.
At this point you're reaching, I saw a fujoshi being defensive and I criticized fujoshi. If I see a man act like a pig I'll complain. Did you see a yurifag around here?
If you think it's popular enough, make a thread and I'll post about the sexism I see daily from anime fans or the yuri shipping in idol anime fanbases. The reason people criticise fujoshi here is because some people apparently listen and are bothered enough to reply, if I vent about joining a discord for card games and the firsf thing I see being middle schoolers on leashes I'll just get posts agreeing that the guy is pathetic, not an actual response.
Your family is insane, anon. Jesus Christ, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Have you considered just cutting them off? I know it's easier said than done, but you don't deserve to have all your shit stolen and then victim
The worst fujoshi you're talking about aren't on Lolcow, but Tumblr, in Livejournal screencaps, etc. I've literally never seen any gross fujo autism coming from Lolcow, so why are you making them "being here" the basis of things?>The reason people criticise fujoshi here is because some people apparently listen and are bothered enough to reply, if I vent about joining a discord for card games and the firsf thing I see being middle schoolers on leashes I'll just get posts agreeing that the guy is pathetic, not an actual response.
So, it was all just bait and attempts to get (You)s all along?
I agree that the media you've mentioned is all gross but you're completely missing the point if you think they're gross BECAUSE they're yaoi. That's correlation, not causation. It just so happens that BL made for women is way more common (and you obviously have consumed much more of it) than hetero porn made for women, so of course you'll find way more weird shit in there.
Try reading hetero smut written by women and you'll find your fair share of impossible anatomy, extremely creepy male leads, rape and misogyny ; because surprise, porn in general tends to be written by people who have no idea how sex works and have developped non-sensical fetishes through years and years of experiencing sex mostly through fiction. Fixating on fujos rather than criticising porn in general is a super weird cop-out.
I'm not gonna write about every single fandom I participated in, feel free to invalidate my experiences and feed your own bias if that makes you feel better. >>401748
The original point was that fujoshi in general are embarrassing at least and mostly offputting.
If my posts were bait, you must be an idiot for falling for bait then.
days* not says
this probably makes literally no sense to anyone reading it but basicqllt because of my age, i didn’t have to submit these transcripts and since i already finished my first semester of college and NVER ONCE FUCKING NEEDED THE TRANSCRIPTS because instead i gave them my GED, i’m so fucking mad rn. i feel like they’re running me in fucking circles for no fucking reason. WHY WOULD YOU EXPLICITLY STATE I DONT NEED SOMETHING AND THEN ON THE VERY LAST POSSIBLE DAY OF APPLICATION YOU DROP IT ON ME THAT I SUDDENLy neeD IT. FUCK.
i’m gonna play in traffic fuck
>>401752>The original point was that fujoshi in general are embarrassing at least and mostly offputting.
And everyone else's point is that it's suspicious that certain people only come out of the woodwork to sperg about fujoshi when there are 98239289283293 other breeds of far more malignant cancer. >If my posts were bait, you must be an idiot for falling for bait then.
That's why I'm asking if it's just bait. First, you said you didn't talk about males because anime threads are dead (as if fujoshi shit isn't reliant on anime). And now, it's apparently because there are fujoshi on Lolcow and you don't just want people agreeing with you about certain people being cringy. So, is it just that you want to argue with fujoshi, no matter what "kind" they are? Just say so if it's the case, there was no need to go on a tangent about the insane breed that aren't even here. Everyone can understand just wanting to bait.
This is very true. Any bad stereotype about BL is gonna be found gender swapped in m/f stories as well. The main difference is that fujos are now actively policed by SJWs and are very much aware of issues with consent and lube and often overemphasize their presence in stories. f/m is much less popular so the writers don't get nearly as much flack from the community.
Just going on a tangent but that anon complaining about a lack of lube is funny to me because recently I find they exaggerate the presence of lube to the point of it being an annoying cliche. Specifically these obviously virginal writers who copy each others sex scenes insist on mentioning lube being cold. Like having one guy apologise to the other for the lube being cold, or reacting to it being cold on their skin. Like, it's just gel lmao it's not fucking dry ice.
I give up, if you simply can't understand that fujoshi were criticized because they popped up as a topic by some other anon. The anime thread on /m/ is mostly dead, so are the weaboo hate etc threads. The fujo cringe thread has a small amount of posts and was dead for months. A few anons popped up in the fujo thread because of some popular twitter discourse bs.
I don't see why me venting in reply to an anon that I find fujos gross is seen as some grand campaigning against female sexuality and defending men somehow, I don't know the level of mental gymnastics necessary for that when it's as simple as "Somebody mentioned fujos and I replied because it was the topic".
All I'm saying is that moving the goalposts won't help you dodge the harder questions, or make a bad argument look any more plausible.
Multiple people have pointed out the same things as me. There's a reason a lot of farmers think people who routinely complain about fujoshi and have a special hatred for them are questionable all around, and as long as you keep getting aggro about it, more will continue to think that way.
>>401742>so many of the characters I love get laughed at for their pain or sexualized for it>get shipped with guys they don't like>Fujos that actually respect characters
They're fictional. They don't actually exist, have agency or feel anything. Who gives a fuck? The only real people who are """harmed"" by BL are fakebois who get triggered
for pretty much any reason they can think of.
nta either, but i'd argue that the person doing that has abusive
tendencies. also there's a huge wave of anons whining about "cartoon porn is fake stfu about pedos!!!" recently
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It may seem silly but at first these girls were called fujoshi by guys online. Then they decided to call each other fujoshi, and I'm going to guess the guys who came up with this didn't make any distinction in the first place between the ones who just want male characters to date each other and the ones who only read porn.
To be honest I think nowadays it's more a word used for "marketing" purposes. If you're a fujoshi, whether you like specific ships or you read literally only BL and all the time, you're more likely to use the same websites and follow the same artists on social media I guess. If you have a publishing company who want to translate and market a SFW BL manga they know how they're going to market their product too, they probably won't make the distinction either. Not sure if that's a good example though.>>401774>comparing art depicting little girls and terrible violence done to women to depicting male character being a little OOC >especially when the guys who are into this trash are very often misogynistic towards real women when girls or women who want whoever the fuck from the latest Shonen Jump manga to date are harmless online and irl
Also NTA, but you'd really have to know them personally to be sure of that. Silly yaoi shipping written by a woman who has no understanding of male bonding and is just using characters to express sexual thoughts she has a weird barrier around otherwise doesn't translate that literally.
Ryonafags and lolicons are a different ballpark because men have shown exactly who they are time and time again. They're responsible for a disproportionate amount of violence against women and child rape for their population count. The existence of such content is them reveling and celebrating their own deeds and urges.
I don't know why your interpretation is "making fun of anon's husbando" when I said it was about sexualizing pain the characters experienced. I won't bring up the extreme cases where people draw guro, but I mean fangirls who find torture and suffering kinky.
Stuff like super edgy Killua fans, the Jojo fandom's general bullshit, Gundam gets plenty too especially the recent Iron Blooded Orphans
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Apologies to the triggered for them being thin skinned, but I'm going to state an objective fact. There is something very wrong with you if you aren't disgusted to the core by the sodomites desire to play with feces. I understand the need to tolerate some forms of mental illness and don't think they should be harassed. Though I don't think they should be praised for their sickening vices either.
Shan't be debating this.
The solution is, and always will be, to shame men into keeping their shit in the closet where it belongs. Now is the time, people have been getting tired of it ever since AGP trannies started rising.
We've been too permissive. All the energy that goes into shaming fujoshi needs to be launched directly at scrotes until they're too ashamed and embarrassed to smear their shit everywhere.
i think my older sister is a pathological liar. she has a history of faking medical ailments and copycatting other people's experiences for pity. it used to be limited to lying online but now she outright lies in person, too–even to me. my suspicion began when i found out she was lying about having a kidney disease on Tumblr. she was also claiming to be legitimately schizophrenic, and upholds this lie today. now she's lying about having fibromyalgia. my mother has it, which she thinks substantiates her claim but, newsflash– it's not genetic. if it were anyone else, people could argue "but how do you know she's lying?" but i grew up with her and know she experiences none of these issues.
she even tried to get attention for herself after my next door neighbor raped me. she made big claims about how he had molested her in a very specific circumstance that i can remember clearly, and it simply isn't true. our family had never had contact with him prior, there were no circumstances where this could have happened, but she took the opportunity to say that her made up claim was just as bad as my experience. she has also claimed that just about every man she has encountered and every time she has been out at night she has been raped or molested. this has only arisen since my trauma and it is beginning to be downright offensive. i can believe molestation, but sister, i guarantee you are not being raped at every turn by every man you look at.
i am a rape victim so i feel like shit being the person who claims someone's allegations aren't true, but when they aren't they simply aren't. what makes it worse is she's my sister, and i love her, but she is lying to everybody around her for sympathy and it is disgusting.
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goddammit I just wanna be creative again. I haven't finished an art project or worked on my art at all in months and I have five or so writing projects going that I just can't seem to make progress on. Even aside from my creative hobbies I just bought a ton of new books and a few video games and instead of reading/playing them I just browse the same websites over and over again and watch inane meme youtube videos. I don't know why my brain goblins insist that I keep watching vine compilations when I've seen every vine at this point and only find a small percentage of them funny. anons who actually pursue their hobbies, how do you do it???
I really don't care what anon does, but they literally worded it: >I honestly want to kill myself
So who knows how sensitive they are to dumb shit.
I think similarly to how Americans are desensitised to school shootings everyone is desensitised to mass murder committed by Islamic terrorists
Only reason the New Zealand got so much attention is because it happened in a country that doesn’t get many terror attacks and it was done by a white supremacist, otherwise it would’ve been quickly glossed over tbh
you are getting a real rough deal anon! try not to worry too much about the cyst and definitely try to leave it alone. it's probably only around cos of all the other inflammation you're having. they're unlikely to be harmful or painful so it should go away when you feel better.
t. bartholins cyst-haver of many years
This whole discussion was>men did it first so I can do it too>not all fujoshi!>why don't you make threads about male weebs when I don't and don't care for them?>fight my battles for me and stop criticising me
You shouldn't pick up retarded logic from scrotes.
Same thing happens in Nigeria almost every month. Muslim on Christian attacks, every time, just like this.
It's being ignored because it doesn't fit the narrative, plain and simple. Also, there's not a white person involved, so leftists in western countries can't use it to racebait and shit on all white people (or virtue signal to show that they're not one of the bad white people). There's no net gain in discussing it for them.
That leaves the alt-right types to publicize it, not because they give a single shit about anyone who's not white, but because they now have something to rub in their political opponents' face about Islam.
At this point, I've given up on discourse on international matters with western people. All they know is America and maybe Europe sometimes, and maybe, maybe other places (like New Zealand) if the opportunity for controversy and bait is big enough. It's insane how narrow and small people's worlds are, even though the internet is so global.
Your autism is just annoying to everyone who's not obsessed.
I'm trying hard not to panic. My first mistake was looking this stuff online because of course your mind jumps to the worst conclusions.>>401859
Even under the breast? It's in the area just above where my breast creases and meets with my ribs. My period started at around the 11th or so and finished around the 16th. I dunno how long it's been there, it just feels like a spot to me but I have a GP appointment in an hour so we'll go from there.
Sorry, just replying again as an update as I appreciated both of your advice. I just came back from my GP and she said that the lump I felt is just a skin cyst. She felt another lump in my breast, she believes that it's normal but she's going to refer me to a breast clinic just to be safe.
She told me there's nothing to worry about so I'm calmer now, but I think I'll be more at ease once I get seen by the clinic. My family doesn't have a history of BC and I'm 25 so hopefully all's good.
I had an argument with my boyfriend right before we went to bed last night and I can't stop thinking about it.
I brought up people who are vocal about being loli/shotafags and how uncomfortable loli porn makes me. I'm used to him always playing the devil's advocate any time I try to have a discussion with him, and accusing me of being overly emotional even if I bring up facts and stats, but it still really weirded me out how defensive he got. He replied with the whole "fiction doesn't hurt anyone!!!" argument even as I tried to explain I'm still wary of fiction since there can never be a complete disconnect between fiction and reality, and many actual pedophiles sexualise fictional children, using them as a substitute for or gateway into actual CP, all that. He kept saying that I'm wrong because my opinion is subjective, I'm at fault for not being able to differentiate fiction and reality, I'm too judgemental, etc.
I can't tell if he came off as defensive just because he's always grumpy when I try to discuss my opinions, or if it was more personal than that. I asked him if he likes lolis and he deflected the question at first, saying "I'd never do anything illegal", "You know me better than that", and when he finally said "I don't like lolis", it didn't sound sincere.
Now I can't stop wondering if he's actually been into lolis all along and I never knew. I don't know what I would do if that were the case. And even if he's not into lolis, why does he need to always be so aggressive when I try to discuss my opinions ? I can't make a single innocent statement without him accusing me of being a brainwashed idiot who doesn't understand facts, but when his friend rants about how much he hates minorities and provides anecdotes as "proof", he totally agrees with him.
Honestly that's what I've been wondering for a few weeks. We've been together for three years, and I've only noticed him acting this way for the past few months.
I've brought up this issue many times already and he keeps saying he's not trying to be condescending and he's just "not good at talking", but this change only occured when I stopped being a self-hating handmaiden.
We've been together for so long that I can't tell if this is something we can fix or compromise on, or if I'm trying to tell myself that because I moved to another country to be with him and don't want that to be for nothing. He genuinely has a personality and interests that I love otherwise (he's the first man I've met who isn't a video-game-addicted manchild and actually has goals for his life), but this feeling of having to withhold my thoughts and opinions so I don't upset him is exhausting.
Different anon here but I often have several at the same time. I haven’t been without one in years honestly. I stopped checking though.
TMI but when I was around 14 years old I picked and scratched and tried to drain the cyst cause I didn’t know what they were and now I’m permanently scarred down there. Really is best to leave alone.
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there was this girl. she was my best friend, and out of respect i don’t want to denounce her and say anything other than that. i got into a real bad isolation phase, typical depressive behavior. i didn’t speak to my friends but her, resulting in them all leaving me alone without knowing the full story. aka they thought i was being a dick and ignored them while in reality i had a lot going on and was grasping for a reason to live. my ex-friends are still friends with each other, without hearing my story, making me feel as if anything i say in the future is invalid. to make it short, my best friend said she wanted a break.. a year ago. we haven’t spoke since then, our last conversation was me sobbing asking why people i held so close left me without letting me speak or even wondering why i was so distant. i understand some people feel better when others aren’t in their lives, i respect that. but i didn’t even voice my opinion, especially since they were all so close to me. i see her in the hallways as we both go to the same college. it makes me feel so temporary. i had a sudden realization i haven’t spoken to my best friend, someone i considered to be with me until we departed in a fucking dollar store. i was always saddened when i thought of it, reality didn’t hit until then.
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So I just a rejection about my application for a Japan scholarship, that included travelling there and having an internship in a japanese business while helping my homecountry to have a better cultural relationship with Japan. It was a really spontaneous application because one girl from my japanese class send an email out that this kind thing exits and that are still looking for people. I loved the concept of it because it would give you a nice look into the everyday life japan and not just being a tourist there with shopping and taking pictures. I not only wanted to get this to actually to go to japan but I think it would look really great on your resume.
I felt weirdly positive about this because I really fit into the kind of people they wanted to have but as I already mentioned, they said no to me and I more bummed about this than I want to admit. I felt this could be a great chance because with this scholarship you would be part of a huge network in my country that works with japan and I think it would've helped me to find a better job or connect with interesting people.
Anyways, it's not going to happen. This year isn't the year I will go there and what makes me extra salty about it it's the fact that I everybody around me was already in japan or goes there in the very near future or some already live there and it's working for everybody except me. I know I should see this to take a new chance to make this happen but this entire concept had just so many great things to offer and experience that I'm really sad that I'll miss this out (it was also super cheap because it's sponsored by my country, so only had to pay for a small part of it so that's another aspect of being sad about it. And how does everybody else manage to go there and not me?
I know I will come over this but I know that some other people from my japan class also applied and it will be extra shitty if they got in and not me because I think I couldn't look pass it even when I like them.
One thing thing really bothered me about the rejection was the last sentence that went like:
"Sorry it doesn't work out for but I hope you will find another way to go to japan some day!"
yeah whatever, go fuck yourself …
Anon, idk if it will make you feel better, but being in Japan can be incredibly isolating and lonely as a day to day life. From experience, the shiny newness wears off after only a few months, and the emptiness of constantly being "other" remains.
No matter how well you speak Japanese, no matter how long you stay in Japan (I have a friend who has lived there since 1972!) you will always be other.
Maybe you dodged a bullet?
Your vent really speaks to me anon, I was rejected from a similar application that everyone including the tutors, had said was "made for me". I could have been ok about it but then found out they accepted a girl who had no interest in Japan and had just applied for the hell of it, and her parents were rich so she could have gone as a holiday anytime she wanted anyway. It was a waste too because she was depressed the whole time she was there from being lonely, anyway.
Obviously I'm still salty, but I don't resent the girl for it anymore and I did eventually manage to save up for a short holiday there. Japanese organisations see enough weebs, sometimes a passion for Japan can turn them off. Hopefully you can maintain your relationships with your classmates that go, they could help you with future applications or share their practical experience for when you do actually get to go.
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>Wanting to travel to Japan
>Wanting to live in Japan
>Wanting to learn Japanese
The only time this shit isn't cringe is if your parents are Japanese.
Would you say that about any other country? Plenty of people want to exactly that but replace Japan/Japanese with something like France/French
Although personally I wouldn’t to move to a hugely racist, xenophobic and misogynistic country like Japan as a non-jap woman.
It would be a thing for around a month this september, so nothing to live there for a long time. The plan says that you spend the first ten days visiting various cities and meeting people (politicians and buisness people etc.) and for the remaining ~two weeks you would settle in tokyo for your internship. Nothing big, but as the girl from my class said, an interesting experience which I wanted to experience as well. >>402033
Yeah, let's see how it worked for them when I see them next week. I wrote my application with the help of this girl who was there a few years ago and said they that want people who are interested in any possible way (it's organized by non-japanese people), so as a design fag I wrote about art, design and a bit of literature. Idk I wish I could tell why it didn't work out but whatever. I remain salty today and try to see it as a good thing because I have an expensive dental procedure coming up so it won't hurt financially as bad as expected lol.
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briefly posted about this in an earlier thread but how fucking cringe and stupid is it that my ex became a giant russiaboo after cheating on me with a pretentious russian instagram thot slash art hoe who looks like vee3rdeye. when he was with me he claimed to hate russians and constantly attacked me for liking some russian music just because my high school ex was from russia. and now look at him; he’s traveling to russia next year and majors in the language and the last time he contacted me i was unsurprised to see him orbiting russian girls on instagram, all because he stuck his cock in one. he is such a fucking faggot. before he was into japan in the same way as he is into russia now which was surprisingly a universe less cringe than this russia obsession. he’s not even russian, he’s half indian and french. well, sam, have fun finding a borscht eating waifu while i’m with the cutest pure hearted serbian guy in the world(who, btw, doesn’t attack my interests/talk only about himself and actually has an identity instead of creating one based off of an interest for another country.) they’ll just dump you after a few months like your last russian gf because you’re an autistic sperging know it all who can’t accept the fact that he is american. btw your cologne smells bad and you’re brain damaged for spending hundreds on it while you’re a poor college student. only venting this because i’m annoyed he had the nerve to try and be my friend again.
How can I learn to be more selfish? I constantly do things for others, while feel like shit because of it.
At work I'm always way too early for my shifts and it aways ends up with me working 30 minutes unpaid extra while my coworkers go outside to smoke as soon as I'm there even if there's still 30-15 minutes of their shift left.
My family hasn't been home for 2 weeks and I thought that I could finally relax and be productive. But no, my grandfather insists of cooking every day for me. He always already eats at half past 11 and then we just sit around and talk until afternoon (or I watch him napping). When I manage to go home for awhile but at 6 pm the latest he's calling me and telling me I should come over for the evening. After coming home out 11-12, my family calls me, so that my little sister can tell me how their holiday is going.
I just would have wanted one single day without having to talk or see anybody, but I guess that's asking for too much. My mother says I should just tell my grandfather that I'm busy, but I can't lie to him. I've already lost my other grandparents and am terribly scared of him and my parents dying as well and therefore I can't bring myself to ever reject them. Meanwhile my brother downright tells him that he doesn't want to come over and my mother always leaves on purpose on the afternoon he usually visits.
I'm the only one who cares about him, I'm the filial (grand)daughter in our family, yet my siblings get treated the same (or actually probably better) than I am.
My grandfather also constantly tells me I need to finish uni faster, but that he barely left me anybtime to study those past 2 weeks is something he somehow doesn't understand…
I wish I was strong enough to just say "No" or to tell my family how much certain things are bothering me, but I'm always feeling so much guilt for no reason (even now as I'm writing this). This weekend my family will come back, meaning the house will be full of noise again and I'm again going to feel like I'll turn crazy since I can't concentrate because of them being so inconsiderate towards me…
Actually that was kind of a douchey thing to do, what other moments like that are there?
Worse even that it’s an anime girl lol
anon, i would suggest that when you get like this you take ten minutes to do this exercise. i'm not bpd but i have generalized anxiety disorder and this has helped me in my moments of neurotic insecurity.
first write down what happened: your bf sent you a picture of an anime girl with different hair
now why this upsets you: he prefers that girl's hair to yours.
now what your fear is around this situation: presumably, you feel inferior or insecure about your hair and you worry he's less attracted to you because of it.
finally you write down all the reasons this might not be as big a deal as you feel it is, even if you don't find those reasons very compelling in your head. i will get you started with some:
if it's truly important and essential, hair is something can be changed
if this particular type of hair was that important he'd have dumped you over it or not dated you to start with
if he changed his hairstyle to one you liked slightly less, would you stop being attracted to him? chances are you wouldn't. he's the same. most people are.
there is no objectively bad or ugly hair, so your hair is not a flaw in any real sense
going by statistics, there's lots of people out there who prefer whatever type of hair you have to that anime girl's
that anime girl isn't real, she is 2D, and 2D hair isn't the same as real hair
there are more reasons, but you can find those on your own now i have got you started. i promise this will help you calm down a bit, even if it doesn't make everything better.
Whether he really doesn’t like Lolis or not he sounds like an insufferable edgelord anyway and you should dump him.
Imagine how exhausting it must be to just try to express a small opinion
First of all, I want you to know that I’ve been in that exact position. I know how you feel and I’m sorry, it sucks ass and it reinforces crippling abandonment complex like no other lol >unsolicited blog inc.
But I’ve come to find that, no matter how much they say otherwise, literally no one wants to stay close and continually supportive of a depressive person who only either whines or isolates. It doesn’t matter that you’re sometimes happy or if she sometimes leans on you too, if your relationship mostly consists of you emotionally depending on the other person then they Will get tired of it one day. This is true of anyone who is even a little bit less depressed than you (unless they’re some kind of masochist). It’s important to know that it isn’t because they don’t care, or don’t love you, it’s simply self-preservation. Relationships are 99% conditional and being uber depressed makes us unfitting for long lasting and healthy ones period…
Depends how you go about it. If you're the sort that has one French Great Grandparent and claims to be as French as a French person born to and raised by French people. That's cringe.
The Reason they want to go to Japan is because the Japs are " racist" and "xenophobic". They're just too dumb to recognize it, or too arrogant to think it applies to them.>>402047>Wanting to learn a foreign language spoken in only one country>That country is Japan
Sounds pretty cringe to me.
cmon this shit is cringe no matter what country/culture the person fixates on. i have a (british) coworker who is some sort of ameriboo and goes to US every holidays and whenever asked about his future plans of any scale (like "hey X, have you considered moving out?" or "are you seeing someone") he starts going about moving to US (despite having only HS education and 6 years work experience in a grocery store lmao). in general he can turn any converstaion topic into somehow relating to the superiority of american culture and how he is basically an american trapped in the body of a brit kek, it is so
annoying. i find nationalism/patriotism weird to start with but ok, i see where people are coming from with that, but then these fixations with other cultures are like a misplaced sense of patriotism/nationalism and so even weirder.
i do disagree somewhat withe the language learning angle bc obvi there's nothing wrong with learning a language for fun or bc it is useful etc but like doing it bc you are a 'insert country name here'boo it is bit unsavoury.
anon read back what you wrote and tell me if it sounds even remotely healthy to you, because it sounds like actual hell to me.
you can’t even express your own damn opinion without being insulted and talked down to by a man child. yes, he’s a man child despite the fact that he doesn’t play vidya. he is one because he literally can’t handle the idea of his gf having her own opinion and has to imply she’s emotional or stupid.
you said he’s the first guy you’ve met who isn’t a man child…. but he IS, anon. you need to raise your standards and learn to be comfortable on your own. just because it moved for someone doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stay with them. and don’t stay with him just because it’s easier than moving elsewhere in your current city/town, do something good for yourself and stop letting the person who’s supposed to care about you the most treat you like someone arguing in youtube comments. he doesn’t respect you and it shows, so you need to respect yourself more and get out of that shit. he will only drag you down.
I used to work in a retail establishment where my coworkers would pop out back for a smoke several times per shift. Annoyed the crap out of me and I was too young and inexperienced to bring it up with the boss.
In a perfect world smokers would have to take time off of their lunch break if they want to pop off to work on that sweet sweet lung cancer outside of their scheduled break.
yeah, i mean, i guess he meant it as a joke, but i've voiced it being a huge fear because i'm very far from his "type" and he makes this very clear, repeatedly saying stuff like that, or how much cuter i was with dark hair, how he wants to see me in completely different clothes, how much he hates characters that show similar traits as me>>402062
yeah.. you're right. i remember that exercise from early dbt classes and i need to remember a lot of those, thank you>>402068
no lies there>>401966
similar experience here, but my bf is more on the level of "people can like what they like, some people don't realize that liking that stuff is wrong" etc etc, and he got mad at me when i said hardcore lolicons should die/stop existing..
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My cat accidentally got outside a couple days ago and hasn’t returned. I’m so nervous, he’s not even a year old and so precious to me. I keep thinking of every horrible thing that could happen and feel so irresponsible, I’ve been trying not to cry at work all day.
yeah, I don't get this mindset either and thinking that the whole world speaks English is really, really ignorant and dumb. This is def the kind of person who travels and expect everybody to be able to understand and speak English fluently.
It doesn't matter what language you learn, it's always a huge gain for you personally.I just learned Dutch because I live close to the dutch border, I don't really needed it but I wanted to be able to have a simple conversation when I go grocery shopping there (and while learning I figured out that there are some really cool dutch books that I can read now). I have polish parents so understanding and speaking polish is therefore also a huge plus because family and culture, I'm from germany so with German I'm able to read literature and shit. In school I learned English and after all that I thought learning Japanese would be a nice addition because I think it's a beautiful language that sounds and looks pretty imo. Learning Languages is great and I support it 1000%.
Nta but well said, anon. It's always an advantage to know different languages, and never really a disadvantage imo.
As long as you have no bad intentions for wanting to learn that language or don't disrespect it I don't see why it's cringe.
Agreed. Just because you may intend to live and work in the anglosphere all your life and never, ever branch out to other parts of the world in any meaningful way doesn't mean everyone else has to be like that.
It's a very "crabs in the bucket" mentality to be annoyed by other people learning new languages.
The only person stopping you is you. Did you just like the headpats from being good at something, or did you actually like drawing? If it's just being about naturally good at something then you can just try something else, natural talent is more of a boost than the bulk of anyone's skill, you can get good at almost anything with some effort.
If you want to get back into drawing then you need to let go of the idea of being the best, someone is always going to be better. Kids who grow up in war zones still manage to teach themselves English just so they can read comic strips, if you really want to get back into drawing you can do it.
Why not try with drawing prompts? https://sketchbookskool.com/blog/category/drawing-prompts
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My (ex?) fiance was arrested for assaulting me on Friday night. One of the neighbors apparently saw me and called the police. We have a no contact order that lasts for essentially the rest of our lives, and he didn't 'let me' work, so now I'm just alone in this big fancy apartment that I can afford for maybe three months if I blow through all of my savings.
I want to finally get a job, but since he stopped 'letting me' work, I have a huge 2 1/2 year gap on my resume. I'm only 23, so it looks really bad, especially since I only had two entry level jobs and one year in college before this.
Does anyone have any ideas or advice on what I can lie about to fill these last 2 1/2 years?
I still a few days to think about this, since I can't very well interview looking like I got hit by a truck, so I have time to learn about whatever jobs I make up, and potentially even learn new skills. I'm just really scared to put something in that can be potentially falsified, but I'm pretty sure that in this oversaturated job market, I would never be hired otherwise.
Politely ask them in class if they have it, or even Facebook message them. If they say they have it, immediately ask for it whilst smiling and seeming pleased. Instead of giving them an open ended request, ask if you can borrow it from them at a specific time when you would see them anyway and add that if they're done with it, you can return it.
If they say no, offer that you both go to the library immediately to photocopy it. Keep suggesting alternatives in a loud enough voice so that others to add pressure.
Do you have any skills like writing or art you could say you worked as a freelancer as? If they ask questions say you worked through fiverr and found clients online. Or that you were caring for a family member who was ill.
I'm rooting for you anon. I'm glad you're safe.
Thank you I'll try, I was having salt rinses before but then I learned such salt concentration is too harsh, so I think I've already caused some damage. It's a horror show.
Thank you for replying also, reading experiences of real people is reassuring for me but google is useless these days.
You should hook up with this>>401966
anons lolicon boyfriend, you'd be a great match
original anon here, yes! i have it pretty persistently actually, i was offered surgery for it but i've heard the return rate is high so seemed pointless. it goes away for a few months at a time, comes back, goes again, you're probably best paying it no mind.
also definitely tmi but despite it sometimes being the size of a ping pong ball (!) i've never had an intimate partner notice.
chill out on the sitz baths and focus on feeling generally better, anon, you're not gross or alone>>401978
high five for the cysterhood honestly
The freelance thing + caretaking is a really good idea, I'm going to do it. Thanks so much, anon.
I actually have done a fair bit of video/audio editing and graphic design, as well as journalistic writing and copy editing. Going to say that my mom was in a bad car accident and I had to fly down for months at a time to help her through various surgeries that prohibited her movement (based on reality). While I was there, and while I was back in my current state, I can convincingly bullshit about the various commissions I did online and for different people/companies around the rural area my mom lives. Fishing and boating are all anyone does over there, so I probably helped some people edit their footage for a few bucks on the side, and made flyers for different local events.
I'm also going to fill about 1/2 a year with a fake job at a place that's out of business, because my legal address was in another state for a while, and it would almost definitely show up on a background check. Nervous about that, but can't be helped, I don't think.
I'm really confident in my interview skills, but in the current job market, I was just worried that I won't ever get the chance to talk to a real person to show them. Hopefully if I frame it correctly on my resume, it will be enough to get my by. One bullet point for responsibilities while caretaking, one for various topics I took commissions on, one more bullet point for some specific projects.
I really just want to get back with him and have this legal nonsense be over with, but that is apparently not an option, and I am also sort of perversely hoping that I can manage to get a new life for myself on my own. I just want to ride this momentum of motivation while it lasts so that maybe I can get back to feeling human again.
Writing this (and much more in my notes) was really good brainstorming for things I could possibly say when questioned, and I feel a lot better having thought through this. Thanks again, anon.
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One of my cats has been gone for almost two days. It's only his second time outside and the lady from the shelter said this might happen but I'm worried as fuck. It's also been very windy and raining. (The weather was perfect on the day he went out and I expected him to return in time).
Also he will be in front of a closed door when I'm at work or sleeping (no possibility of a cat door), he has a cat house and food outside though but I don't know if that's enough to make him feel welcome….if he comes back at all, the food remains untouched….
He's all I can think about.
I did but I had already scooped it out because I didn't realise I'd need it later. It's not new litter though so here's to hoping that's enough. And then there's also the factor that it might just smell like my other cat. He likes her but I don't know if they get attracted to the scent of their buddies as well.
I'm going to try the dirty laundry trick when I get home tonight.
Luckily I won't have to worry he will go towards other people because he's scared of everything but that might also prevent him from coming back.
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Walk around your neighborhood area cheerfully calling for him, holding a can of tuna (or some other very smelly food) and something your cat lays on (if it's a long cloth, you can tie it around your waist like a hoodie).
While you're walking around, put up missing cat signs with his photo, his name, your name, phone number, and address. Any neighbors that see you doing this will know that it's you in particular whose cat is gone, and be more likely to help you out and call you if they see him, or even tell you in person if they pass you by. A picture of you with your cat on the sign would serve a similar purpose.
There's a chance that someone thought he was a stray and unknowingly took him into their home. Really unlikely, but if your cat is very pretty or unusual, someone could have abducted him. In either of these cases, missing cat signs and having you actively walking around, looking, and talking to the neighbors would draw attention, making this kind of person more likely to let your cat go so he can return to you.
It's also possible, but also really unlikely, that your cat tried to hide in the rain somewhere and got stuck. One of my mom's cats did this in a rural area and she was able to find the poor boy three days later by walking around until she heard him howling from a hole concealed in tall grass that was too deep for him to escape on his own.
And, of course, keep on leaving smelly food and familiar-smelling items around your house, but if there's no way he can get in, that's not ideal. I don't know your situation, but if there's any way you can leave some form of entrance into your building, then that would be good to do.
I really think walking is your best bet. On his second night outside, he might not know how to get home yet, he might have got confused and scared by the rain and got lost. He might even just be having fun chasing ducks or something. By increasing the area you travel with his scent and some stinky fish, you increase your shot at finding wherever he might be.
This is kind of TL;DR but I wanted to be thorough, have had quite a few missing cats over the years and we were always able to find them by doing this.>>402427
Could I get the name to that subscription box? My cat I grew up is slowly dying of old age, and although my mom is taking good care of him, he's likely going to die before I can visit again, and I want to send something like that for him.
I'm in Japan, so this might not be helpful to you, but it's called Pecobox: https://box.peco-japan.com/brand_pages/cat
But maybe there is something similar where you live?
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I feel you anon, it bothers me when all anthro art is lumped in with furshits, liking animals with some human like features doesn’t suddenly mean you shop on bad dragon. I myself don’t draw many anthros, but whenever I have it’s in a children’s storybook style and STILL furries feel gutsy enough to approach me and talk about their degenerate community and fetishes
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It's really warm today so I wore a skirt, I was a little self-conscious leaving the house as I struggle a lot with body image issues but I didn't want to sweat my ass off in jeans and I'm trying to not let my insecurities rule me so I sucked it up.
As I was walking to my bus stop some gross dude passed me and as he was walking by said, "So pretty" into my fucking ear. He could've said something way worse but it still repulsed me, the way he said it was so fucking creepy. I fucking hate men so much and I hate that on top of my stupid insecurities about my weight I also have to worry about nasty dudes way older than me staring at my body.
I grew up pretty sheltered and was kind of a NEET so I'm not really used to being catcalled or bothered by random men. I wish I could let it stop bothering me because it's not even like anything bad actually happened but it's really pissing me off. I was supposed to pick up some groceries after class but I just went straight home because I felt too self conscious.
I don't even want to vent to anyone in real life because I feel like everyone will just tell me it's my fault for wearing a short skirt when it's almost 30 degrees Celsius. Sometimes I really fucking hate being born female.
It's not your fault at all, and I'm sorry this happened to you.
It's normal to feel bothered even if it wasn't anything too dangerous or insulting, honestly. When this sort of stuff happens to me it makes me feel disgusting inside for the whole day, and it sends my insecurities into over-drive. It fucking sucks to have men sexualise us and act entitled to our bodies when we're just trying to live our lives.
The Lackadaisy comic is great! I wish there was more of those on the internet, anthro art not associated with the furry fandom.
Which doesn't mean the fandom will leave them alone and not draw 5000 pictures of porn, but still…
I was thinking of drawing Zootopia fanart these days and I googled a reference sheet for Judy Hopps with safe search on and there were some obviously lewd pictures in there. Disgusting.
I still remember to this day, when I was 9 I was going to the local market get some things for my mom and some asshole said under his breath to me as I was passing by: "hot little princess".
It's not your fault. I dressed like a boy when I was a child and it never stopped this from happening.
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If I had a mental breakdown over every homeless retard that muttered stupid shit at me I would be unable to leave my house
Yeah, it's gross and unnerving, if you must say "thanks!" or better yet don't even look at them and keep walking. They don't deserve your time nor do they deserve to take up any more space in your brain than necessary. Try not to ruminate over it like you're doing because it's really not that deep, anon. It's the way the world is.
Also, to followup, the people who do this are just rotten lowdown people in general. Rarely ever do you see normal well-to-do men doing this, though young men in groups can say stupid shit to impress each other but I've found this few and far between. My husband wears a suit to work and walks and he'll have the same retarded drug addicts/homeless/alcoholics that catcall me say "nice watch man" "cool suit" and although it's different it's still annoying when it's coming from some disheveled hobbling goblin on the sidewalk
These types of people just can't keep their mouthes shut.
Urgh, I'm sorry anon. Situations like that are the worst. It's not your fault at all for wearing comfortable weather-appropriate clothes and even if you look good no one should act creepy towards you because of it, it's so disrespectful and disturbing.
I hate men who don't know how to just speak to women like human beings. I've had both men and women randomly give me appearance-based compliments worded in polite and respectful ways and it's like, yeah, that's fine, thank you! But these creeps who give passing whispers and stupid noises and curse and say sexual things are absolute worthless degenerates.
A couple months ago I dressed up in a cute but professional way (long-sleeved polka dot blouse and a knee-length A-line skirt) for a meeting and was feeling confident and hopeful and some random guy on my way there started yelling at me "Damn you college girls are so sexy, I'd do (blah blah blah) to you" and it absolutely ruined my day and made me wish I never put on that outfit. Walking in that area now I still get self-conscious and wish I was invisible.
Not your fault, please don't be discouraged from wearing what you want and learning to love your body. Men are disgusting imbeciles that will sexualize you no matter what you do. People probably will make weird excuses for the guy like you said, it's just how things are right now.
I always end up wishing I snapped back at catcallers but then I remember they are men and could be psycho enough to stalk me for "wronging" them or something. Stay safe out there love.
Not your fault, please don't be discouraged from wearing what you want and learning to love your body. Men are disgusting imbeciles that will sexualize you no matter what you do. People probably will make weird excuses for the guy like you said, it's just how things are right now.
I always end up wishing I snapped back at catcallers but then I remember they are men and could be psycho enough to stalk me for "wronging" them or something. Stay safe out there love.>>402591
Not your fault, please don't be discouraged from wearing what you want and learning to love your body. Men are disgusting imbeciles that will sexualize you no matter what you do. People probably will make weird excuses for the guy like you said, it's just how things are right now.
I always end up wishing I snapped back at catcallers but then I remember they are men and could be psycho enough to stalk me for "wronging" them or something. Stay safe out there love.
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I fucking hate pro ed bloggers. Saying you're not pro anything or pro recovery doesn't negate the shit you post. Summer is getting closer and these retards keep invading literally all fitness tags with their shit and once they get deleted they start screeching how dare they delete their """"personal"""" blog. Just say you want a bigger reach, more followers and attention jesus christ. It's even worse when it's some hambeast doing it, but that's a special kind of retards that refuse to put in effort.
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yuta sakakibara has been one of my favorite artist for years and it's such a shame that he doesn't draw anymore all thanks to the tumblr drama he was involved with years ago
I'm in the same situation, but I somehow managed to gain 2 or 3 kilos in the past few years. I know in my case it's because of a very specific condition and my doctors said that in my case as long as I eat well and don't lose weight, I should be fine.
See a doctor for that like I did years ago, just in case.
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as far as i know he made a terrible and stupid mistake to tell a 15 year old to "suck his dick" as a joke because he used to reply to every one of his asks in a weird manner and it was highly inappropriate to say something like that to a minor. people on tumblr hopped on that of course and started calling him a pedophile despite him saying he isn't one and despite all of that he handeled that situation in what i think is the most responsible way he possibly could by posting an apology on his tumblr in 2016 and from now on he keeps the apology all over his instagram and social media too. yuta pretty much agreed with people who said what he did was unacceptable and unforgivable.
There are a few things that could be going on.
Most simply, and pls don't be offended because I don't know you except for your anonymous post, you aren't actually eating more calories than you're expending. You could be either overestimating the amount that you eat, or underestimating the amount that you expend.
Fitbits aren't exceptionally accurate at counting calories burned, maybe a 30% error rate, but it could give you a good baseline for your activity. I also believe that if you track your weight every day within the tracker that your calories burned becomes more accurate over time.
It could also be some kind of medical issue. I just read the other day a story about a girl that lost a bunch of weight despite eating 4000 calories a day, going down to 5'2" and 80 lbs. She eventually found out it was a side effect of undiagnosed diabetes that had no other symptoms she noticed.
Not saying you have diabetes, just that weird things can happen medically. If you have insurance and it's easy for you to do so, you'd probably see most immediate benefits from seeing a doctor to figure out if there's something genuinely wrong. If not, they might be able to refer you to a nutritionist.
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Men age like milk. Not even asians are safe.
This. I've dated mostly women and I'm single at the moment, yet I still feel like a fake ass straight bitch because I'm also attracted to men. I get people despising obvious attention whores like Shuwu milking bisexuality for Cool Girl points but man being bi is just getting the worst shit flinging from both communities, gay and straight. I don't even want to belong to the ~kweer community~ because it's flooded with insane trannies and other special nutcases, I just don't want lesbians to screech at me or give me the stink eye when I mention being bisexual.
However I feel like the most young militant separatist lesbians are projecting like crazy, they always end up dating a man when they're nearing their 30's. The people who are "genuinely" lesbian are more chill with bisexual and straight people because they're comfortable wit their sexuality and not threatened by the evil contagious mid-heterosexuality.
Is just like to point out that Zoomers are 1995-2010, so a decent chunk are now in their mid 20’s and are in this limbo of not quite being a millennial
Also, teens being emotionally stunted and unstable is nothing new, it’s not phenomenon due to the internet. They've always been retarded.
>>402930>decent chunk are in their mid 20's>Only those born in 1995 are 24 at their oldest which can be argued that it's only reaching its mid 20's
Anon did you think this through
Being connected to everyone and every unfiltered idea during your most sensitive development phase has definitely done a number on gen Z, there's a much greater chance at being sucked in into some cult mentality than during the time when your socialization was limited to school grounds. Internet also makes it worse because it's easier to dehumanize other people you don't know or you can't see. Teens have always been retarded and they will be in the future, that's for sure, but now they have bigger and more powerful means to bring out their retardom to everyone else's nuisance.
Thanks for all your tips anon!
I did what you said and walked around yesterday looking for him, calling to him, holding his favorite wet food and shaking his favorite snacks. I also left day-old socks outside as I'd seen that as a tip to lure him to my scent.
This morning the wet food was eaten and a lot of the dry food that I left outside, I really hope it was him! It's the first morning that the outside food has been touched.
>There's a chance that someone thought he was a stray and unknowingly took him into their home. Really unlikely, but if your cat is very pretty or unusual, someone could have abducted him
Luckily he's been chipped and has the little hole in his ear wich indicates a chipped cat. I think he's really pretty but not exactly rare. People might mistake him for a Bombay until they see the big white spot on his chest.
>but if there's any way you can leave some form of entrance into your building, then that would be good to do.
I really wish I could do that but all our entrances are double glass and we'd have to replace the entire glass to place a cat door wich is really costly and we don't have money for at the moment. I would leave a window open but that's just an invite to burglers.
Don't forget that they get to post all their retarted outbursts (wich is something ALL teens have) on the internet for everyone to read and it will stay there forever.
I'm so happy internet wasn't such a big thing in my teens.
Internet and computers aren't exactly toys, they need to be used for work as well.
And you don't get jobs by flashing tits, ass, and dicks with a nickname.
"Need to be used for work as well" means that a computer has multiple purposes. You can use them for sperging and for other things as well
And don't tell me you're applying for jobs as xXx_skatergirl_1990_xXx lmao
Are you me?
I just don't know what happened. I've always been introverted but it was never this bad.
And I was a neet for several years. I started my resocialization and found work, but I could easily go back to hikki lifestyle if it was financially viable.
It doesn't help that everyone for some weird reasons has high expectations from me and thinks I'm smart, but I know that if they knew me better, they'd think differently and I'd disappoint them.
I don't know how you can meet with friends you've ghosted. I'm guilty of doing that but that's because I think I'm a loser and feel like shit. I couldn't possibly face people I knew.
When I'm home, I'm really happy though. I could spend hours doing my hobbies.
I wish I could offer you and advice on social anxiety. I also ignore co-workers and I don't join them after work for banter. It makes me feel terrible. I can't stop cringing about myself and the way I act but no matter how much I try I'm this nervous wreck.
I wish I could turn invisible. Maybe with age.
Actually, you know what helps me sometimes, but only sometimes? Nihilism. I think that nothing really matters and all the people know me will die so my actions and my existence doesn't matter because it's all going to be forgotten.
Sorry for the long post but I don't find so many people that are in the same boat.
Sometimes the creeping thoughts of wanting to kill myself come back. It's not full on screaming in my head, but just… whispers. Like, I'll just be sitting doing something and suddenly it's just "what if I just killed myself?"
I'm unemployed at the moment, I left my job after having several meltdowns. I decided to take this unemployment period to do other productive things and try out new hobbies so I didn't start feeling overwhelmed about only job hunting (and the subsequent feelings of hopelessness that comes with not being contacted back despite however many applications I put out). I knew leaving my job wouldn't make me happy (it helped a lot with feeling emotionally and mentally drained everyday though), but now even as I try to find new fulfilling things to do, I still can't help but feel dread at being alive. I know that as a human being that feeling emotions is great. Like, it's supposed to be a beautiful experience to be able to feel happy and sad, and I'm supposed to relish in my ability to feel things… but I don't. Feeling sad feels fucking awful, and feeling happy feels so empty because it's always so fleeting. I know eternal happiness is unattainable and I'm supposed to work for some sort of version that's a lot more mellow and sustainable, but fuck, I'm tired lol.
I just really want to die. I don't really know what's the point. I don't know what I'm working towards anymore.
>>403011>Actually, you know what helps me sometimes, but only sometimes? Nihilism.
Nayrt, but wow, I relate to this so much. I didn’t know other people used nihilism to try to cope with anxiety. Whenever I’m trying to get myself to do something anxiety-inducing, having an anxiety attack, or trying to forget something embarrassing I’ve done in the past, I try to just think about how I’m going to die and how none of it will matter when I’m dead. But it only helps sometimes too since my body still just has an instantaneous physical anxiety reaction where my face gets hot, I start shaking, I feel nausea, start sweating, etc.
It's best to talk about expectations with animals as soon as you get them. My husband and I discussed from the very beginning how we were going to go about taking care of our cat and we never had any issues with it moving forward. Also, acting like the animals are yours whenever it's annoying for them is absolutely unacceptable a d you need to tell them to knock that shit off.
If you plan on having kids, remember that taking care of animals is often reflective of how well they're going to take care of children. If they're slacking, expecting you to do everything, and acting like it's only your pet when they get irritated, that's behavior that very well may carry over to when you have children if it's not addressed now.>>403051
Holy shit, anon, calm down. This is not the kind of shit you just up and leave your damn husband over.
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>join fandom group and befriend another artist who draws cutesy stuff
>we hit it off and follow each other on other platforms
>Notice that they constantly comment a lot on other artists work
>also notice that they don't acknowledge me publicly unless I make fanart that they can attach their art to as well
>Can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow being used as some kind of clout accessory
My art is only slightly better than theirs so I could just be overthinking/paranoid but still
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hey there anon, do some 4-7-8 breathing exercises, it should help to loosen up your chest muscles. please try not to be scared. the likelihood of there being anything wrong with you are very, very low.
i have health anxiety (used to be called hypochondria) and my doctor showed me this website, which helped me tons. you input your sex and your age, and then you can ask it to sort by top five, top ten, or all causes of death and it shows you how you are absolutely fine and that nothing is wrong from a mathematical perspective, with nice pie charts, too! it's on a cancer website,so don't get frightened by that! but the all cause button is the one to look at, and it honestly helped me tons.https://knowyourchances.cancer.gov/
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>tfw you fall for the exposure meme, except they stop providing exposure halfway down the deal
I'm stupid desu, but the lesson hurts.
>took photos for Project X under the guise of an internship that was more of an excuse for under-minimum-wage labor
>"It's okay, Anon! Have some social media clout."
>"Sounds great. I trust you!"
>get that shit down on paper and signed, dumb bitch
>first time in the industry so tolerated 23-26 hour workdays, no comp for transpo, and the time sucked away for post-processing
>it ayt!! this is just a stepping stone to a future career!! you got this!!
>tolerate, learn to appreciate and grit through
>get depressed after Project X for unrelated reasons
>didn't check social media activity for recovery
>find out a few months later they stopped attributing my handle and name in posts
>a third party also used the photos for promotional material, but they at least had the dignity to tag me properly
>not a big deal
>DM one account asking for attribution as part of the deal
>they can't claim innocence since I had a !ReadMe! note in the file tree
>too anxious to contact the other members in the project
>Project X wrapped up anyway, so I move on and vow to get a fucking contract next time
>skip forward to this week
>accounts go live again
>my last message was seenzoned
I took down the link to the photos. Don't be me, farmers. Not worth it to sue them since we're both broke.
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a man who admitted to using me for sex, leading me on, and lying to me about actually liking me said 2 days ago that i’d never get into the college program i want.
i got my letter of acceptance today. suck on that you stupid fucking worthless scrot.
i have him blocked so i’m just putting it here. but it feels SO FUCKING GOOD to prove someone wrong when they call your capabilities into question. enjoy your pathetic unwanted finance degree and lifetime of regret for wasting all your money on a university degree you never even enjoyed, ill be sitting pretty doing my dream job.
also i accidentally posted this in the gc thread while still half asleep so shoutout to you if you saw that embarrassing little interaction
I'm honestly so tempted to be a slut. I just want to feel like I'm useful to men, that I have a purpose, that they can use me and be happy with me and stuff. I know it makes me sound like a whore but I know I'm not the only one here who feels this way. It's weird because I love flings, and I love how validated I feel in the heat of the moment, but I feel like shit afterwards. When the guys start ignoring my texts and so on.
Am I trash?
i’ve always given people the benefit of the doubt and i see everyone’s good qualities regardless of how shitty they’ve treated me. it’s one of my weaknesses but at the same time i recover extremely well from this kind of situation really quickly.
i can’t speak for anyone else but circumstances in my life have led me to be a person who is very emotionally available and wants to help others (irl) so it’s led me to be taken advantage of a few times. but i don’t see it as my fault. i only had good intentions and those were abused by bad actors, that doesn’t mean i “fell for it,” it means i need to learn when to say no, even if it’s going to hurt someone else’s feelings.
honestly though i’m too excited about my future and my direction in life right now to stay hung up on that guy or anyone else who’s done something similar to me in the past. all of them are blocked, none of them can contact me ever again, and i am singlehandedly driving myself down the path of becoming better for it. whether it’s through something as small as saying no or something as big as getting into my dream college, and now that i’ve done that, no scrote can stop meeeeee
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One of the niche things I like is kids comic (or as it's usually called graphic novels). Yeah it's a bit silly, but it's like an adult watching sponge-bob/steven universe to unwind.
The weird thing is like nobody past the age of ten knows this genre exists. I recently saw a thread on reddit asking for good comics for kids and all people could muster up was 'This CN show has a spinoff comic'. You could get the guy who makes it his job to read every comic that comes out out every publishing house and it you asked him who Raina Telgemeier is he'd just scratch his head.
Some of the comics also have nice plots to them, like the pic I included. As another rant I'm also somewhat mad that steven universe/Voltron is held as this 'diversity for all' cartoon when I've read a few comics/books aimed at kids that included gay characters way before those shows. I guess it's the 'you don't have to be the first to do it, but the first to popularize it' thing.
I feel like I'm sperging, but I've never talked about this before.
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You're absolutely right anon. The people that use you and take advantage of your good intentions are the wrong ones, not you.
I'm glad you got in the program, I wish you a lot of success
My therapist recommended me those exercises, we did them together today. They helped a lot!
Thank you for this website. It is terrifying that everything can seemingly be linked back to cancer, but seeing the low percentages is really helpful.
I am feeling less anxious now, I think I will have ups and downs until I find out what this lump means, but I'm letting the anxiety control me and also invalidate the promising odds I have on my side which is wrong. I'm also going to see my GP next week to just speak to her about this, because I should've talked about how this would affect my anxiety instead of just leaving with her reassurances. Hopefully she'll be able to tell me why she's 95% sure there's nothing to worry about. I do wish it was 100%, but very few things are ever certain and I need to remember that.
Last time I felt this for "no reason" the guy turned out to be a pedophile who had molested 2 pre-teen girls in my family.
I usually trust my gut in those situations. Our subconscious catches a lot of subtle details in body language.
Yeah I'm exactly the same way. I always have a gut feeling about a lot of people, especially ones who make themselves out to be very friendly. I can look at someone who appears to be scummy and violent and I'll sense no danger from them at all.>>403127
You should definitely ask your boyfriend about that uncle, he probably has some dirt on him. My boyfriend and I always share our gut feelings about each others family members and it's usually right or they have no recollection of them doing anything bad, but have also felt the same way.
What the duck are you talking about
I’ve been in so
many online radfem groups. The best of them is just the network of old little blogs that support each other.
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I sharted into my cute panties. :( Now I'm trying to get the stain out and they're light colored but not white so I can't bleach them.
Laugh so the pain stops anons
thank you anon, you’re a total sweet pea!>>403129
i know how you feel, it’s so draining on your self esteem and that feeling can drag you down a lot. please keep your chin up anon, you sound like you have a big heart. it’s you who gets to decide how you define yourself, not a number.
as someone who dated their rebound for 5 years to the point of getting engaged when i never actually loved him, after breaking up with my first (abusive
) boyfriend - it probably won't get better. rebounds just aren't meant to be long term relationships. i was content to just drift along in my rebound relationship because he was the opposite of my ex and not an emotionally abusive
asshole, but when he proposed to me it was a wake up call that i was literally just stringing this guy along that i was never actually into because being alone was too scary. i rejected his proposal and we broke up, and years later i'm finally in a relationship with someone i AM head over heels for.
maybe your situation is different, but that's my perspective, anyway.
yeah im scared of that scenario, but im also pretty sure my bf is my ideal mate. I just didn't get to crush on him before getting him, and i love that chasehttps://ask.metafilter.com/105105/Can-love-without-infatuation-still-be-real-love
this webpage makes me feel better
Not to mention the pedophilia. Their second studio album was full of photos of a naked little girl in it for no reason, and everyone just lets that slip because reasons (eg "itz ART").
I wasn't one of those "Ugh, degeneracy" people before, but really, what else can you call it when this kind of person gets to enjoy fame and popularity? There is a point where the things you do stop being unconventional, confrontational art that questions the nature our society, and become unironic propaganda for the continued degradation of said society.
I don't see why radfems need to support conservatives in any way. It's good that they're against porn, but they don't need feminists to back them. They'll continue to oppose porn for misogynistic religious reasons, radfems will continue to oppose it for women's sake. The cause would not be more successful if we worked together if that's what you're suggesting, it'd just alienate potential supporters because we are on complete opposites of the political spectrum. It's not practical or workable in a political sense, and it's also ethically abhorrent considering the anti woman sentiment they hold in general - just look at their fucking pro life bullshit. That's not net gain for women.
Reluctantly siding with people who hate women because we happen to align on some points (and even then only the end result, not the actual reasoning behind it) is not even remotely liberating. The solution is making radical feminism stronger by it's own merits, not latching onto our literal enemies in both politics and daily life.
I can relate, anon. I love the idea of lipstick and I have a small horde of ones I find really pretty but every time I try to wear them I feel like a dumbass.
Have you tried tinted lip balms or just lip tints in general? A lot of Korean brands have good affordable lip tints that are super cute and feel really comfortable too. Plus they tend to have a softer natural look which helps me feel a little less clownish.
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Goddammit! Why are online guys so creepy? Especially the ones who are into anime/nerd stuff? I used to dream of having a guy friend or a bf who is also into geeky/anime/artsy stuff like me but the one's I met online are all major creeps! Usually they start out super nice and friedly. But later on their true colour will show; asking personal and sexual questions, showing disgusting images and wanting to meet up for sex. Gross! I'm definitely not gonna date guys who are into anime/geeky/artsy stuff now. But if I date guys who are not into this stuff, will they ever understand and accept my anime/geeky hobby? Do guys like this even exist???
Really? I've never seen other women with similar legs to mine.
You made me feel much better!
Thank you, anon!
Same here. I wish I can remain single forever but social pressure is getting to me. I'm already 30 and everyone keeps harping on me to find a life partner and stop being super picky when choosing guys to date. I rather remain single forever than be stuck with a person that I'm not even compatible with tbh. But it does suck to be the only single person among your of friends and family. >>403402
I've never tried talking to chads before since they're way into different hobbies/lifestyles. If I'm really desperate maybe I'll try to find a chad to talk too in the future. But most chads my age are already married though.
All guys who like anime are creepy anon>>403402>9 times out of 10
Woah there let’s not get crazy
Is there such thing as chads of nerds/gaming? Or do I just happen to be lucky with the guys I befriended in the gaming groups I've joined.
One game series group in particular, which is the one I enjoy spending the most time around, the rest of the fans see them as elitist cunts. I don't really see what others are saying about them, they're more casual like compared to other groups and I enjoy that. Maybe it's because a lot of these guys probably have girlfriends or they believe online dating isn't worth their time. I mean, it really does make a difference if that's the case. There's no male competition between the members as well and if there ever is, the ones who turn out to be competitive leave after a few weeks with a dramatic "why don't you just kys" exit.
Right?! We just want to talk about art and anime; not have sex with you! Gosh! Sometimes I wonder if being anonymous online turns them into idiotic sex crazed fiends. I know they wouldn't dare to ask such questions to a girl irl. >>403412
True! I'd say a majority of guys who like anime are creep-os. But I have seen a few of my anime/nerds friends dating and married ones who are super nice and normal. I guess they just got super lucky to find the good ones.
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Why do my bangs never stay in place even in the slightest wind when everyone else on the street has hair that will not budge even when there's a breeze!!!!!
imo parents who do that are terrible parents. Unless you're dirt poor, it's better that you gain any experience you can in a field that's related to your studies.
My parents did the same with me and it was a huge handicap, it drained me mentally. I lost more in time and energy and motivation than I gained in knowledge or experience for the small pay. Try to explain to your parents and ask them for patience and support. Also, best wishes in your success.
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Been talking to this guy online for over a year, and all we really talk about is movies and art and general life stuff. We live in different countries, so it's not the kind of friendship that would cross into real life.
We never talk about anything nsfw cause I don't want to, and it's literally never come up (nor have I ever mentioned it) Out of the blue he starts talking about masterbation and porn. Maybe I'm a prude but it made me really uncomfortable and I tried to steer the conversation away from the topic as nicely as I could. Now that he's mentioned it once he's starting to bring up sex and stuff more. I don't know what changed to make him feel so open about it but I'm fucking sick of it. I've always taken particular care to not lead him on, because I like him only as a friend. I've never voice/video chatted and never will (though he's mentioning it more recently)- It doesn't help that I'm completely non-confrontational, and even though he's started being weird, I know I would feel guilty about ghosting him. It's still been over a year of chatting to the guy. Why does my conscience twist ME into the guilty party when he's the one in the wrong? aHhHH
, didn't read up the thread but god is this practically the exact situation I'm in. Glad I'm not alone, men are so gross.
Don't we all anon, don't we all…
Apparently to reach this nirvana you gotta 'go outside and do people things whilst being pleasent
Source 30+ anon who attracts rl lolcows and bus wierdo's and is resigned to being alone for fucking ever.
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Don't worry. Be happy.
Get into some activity that forces you to be in contact with people
For example a gym for martial arts or yoga
I self-harmed for the first time after forever because of my douchebag neighbors and their loud-ass parties with aggressive music (and boy, are cops unhelpful) and went to the psych ward and got sleeping meds and sleeping tea and a talk and some more tips for moving and who to ask for help.
Somehow I also went from "Help me, friends, help" to "What if my friends ever needed help, I'd be useless, I'm a useless friend"
Idk I'm gonna apply for more flats again and ask some professionals for help. I also sent out some mails to get things moving about a complaint and about moving.
Idk my life is a mess. But that's just life I guess. I hope I can do better, be better in time and still be me. I just want everyone to be well and myself, too. Sometimes I feel really bad when I feel trapped and victimised because of childhood abuse. And sometimes, I feel completely alone and abandonned because of it. And then I get help and now I feel bad because I feel I should help others more. Idk I shouldn't overthink it. I guess I'm grateful and hope I can be a help to someone someday, too. And now, off to sleep
Why is it so important they like anime? I mean, I like some series too. It's a great medium, it has a unique flavor.
That said, I'm just getting tired of Asian shit being thrown in my face in nerdy/geeky circles these days. Especially shilled-to-death crap like Korean Pop. No, I don't find jungkook (or whatever his name is) attractive. He looks like a lesbian. Literally.
Relatedly. As someone who grew up with JRPGs (older Squaresoft and Enix stuff primarily) and loved the whole science-fantasy aesthetic, I also can't stand Persona games on that note. They bore the hell out of me. The entire appeal seems to be "it's like I'm really a Japanese schoolkid!"
There's a ton of nerdy stuff that isn't explicitly Asian. Tabletop for example, and the people into that ironically tend to be better adjusted and more friendly.
Legit hope Asian pop culture doesn't take over entirely.
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Just read about how the Pope gave the migrant caravan $500k. I can’t help but imagine how salty my deeply devout Catholic and Trump-supporting ex-boyfriend has to be about this.
Since you can post here, you have at least some free time and internet access. Maybe pull up some reading you enjoy that doesn't take much focus, like a subreddit or a light novel (or lolcow threads). Something that can occupy your time and take your mind off things in the free moments that you have. Or you can write in a notepad if you can't easily use your phone/computer, anything you want to write about, whatever you feel. Maybe try to write about dreams you had? I personally love doing that when I'm at work during slow times between making phone calls.
Also, consider that you may be doing more work than others, without getting rewarded for it. I pride myself in being professional and trying my best to solve problems in the workplace, even if it's just a cashier job. But then you have other people that just dick around on their phones and are extremely incompetent and get paid the same amount as you.
If you're seriously overwhelmed or just not feeling it today, you don't have to do your best. You can just try to survive until you get home, and then you can relax and do whatever you want and get some good sleep. Then be more prepared for the coming days and continue to meet your own standards.
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Same, it's really getting out of hand.
These young retards need the internet taken away from them and to see a psychiatrist.
If you're moving soon and you don't care to continue being long-term close friends with the people you are referring to, then it's best to put it out of your mind and just focus on your current partner and the goals you have with them for moving to your new place. Simply ignore all of this drama. When you reach the place you move to, you'll have a whole new opportunity to meet different people and develop new relationships that might stand the test of time better.
If you do feel particularly close to some of the people this ex-friend is trying to turn against to, and want to continue talking to them after you move, I would say you should simply tell them the facts of your situation. Something like, paraphrased, '(partner) cut off ties with (ex-friend) and is trying to vindictively make people in my life dislike me. I want to keep being your friend and don't want this to come between us.' Then see what they say and carry on conversation with them. The friendship could still naturally die in time, but you would at least have a better kind of closure.
Either way, I don't think you should worry too much. The ex-friend is just a petty, laughable excuse for a person, and anyone that they con into hating you would be just as pitiful. The best response is to simply focus on your own life with your partner and create a new network for yourself.
Posts/people that are like "SHE'S A TWENTY TWO YEAR OLD WOMAN!!!!" are so weird to me. Like, are you guys actually meeting 22 year olds, or are you 15? Where are you meeting people where most of them, at 22, can be considered anywhere near "GROWN-ASS ADULTS"? If you sit down and talk to the majority of even, like, 46 year olds, they're still like, 19, mentally, and are impulsive and have terrible priorities so I'm not sure what these people are talking about.
Sometimes, it really surprises me how people can be smug and kind of dismissive without knowing anything about something. Like, I typically believe that when someone has a level of bitterness and cynicism about a certain concept, it's because they're already well-aware of it, but see drawbacks to it that others don't (because they are ignorant). But then, there are times when a cynic says something so ignorant, that misses the mark so hard, it makes my head spin. Like, how can you be completely and utterly clueless about this, but already act like a pissy, tired know-it-all about it? Don't you have any curiosity about the things around you, or even a modicum of self-doubt that makes you want to double-check things?
It just shocks me. Some people really don't know shit about shit. They can't even do a simple Google search for something they're unsure of. And it's almost like they're proud of being ignorant, but I know that's not the case. It's just that they're so sheltered by the feeling that they're adequately knowledgeable on a wide berth of topics, that they take on this sardonic outlook that effectively blocks them from learning anything new. It's a real issue.
People always complain about ignorance on its own, but smug ignorance is far more wild and, at worst, incorrigible, IMO.
I feel similarly about the guys in my online friend group. 4 out of 5 of them have gone from being normal, fun-loving guys into being ridiculous alt-right caricatures that regularly post memes about 'clown world' and how all of Europe is now run by 'Islamists' or whatever. It's so fucking embarrassing since 2 of them are Americans that have never left their home state and the other 2 are from bumfuck nowhere towns in German towns that are practically 100% white.
Arguing with them is just impossible. They were all sperging in the group chat about how Notre Dame catching on fire was 'obviously' the work of Muslims because, direct quote, 'all of western europe is a caliphate now.' They're so irrational that it's just a waste of time to even respond to.
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>>403657>I'm so tired of something that hasn't existed since the 1940's
Step outside of your house once in a while.
Funny how you claim Nazis don't exist anymore, but you get triggered
whenever anyone says anything bad about them.
Likewise, I'm aware of all that. My post was not to elicit sympathy.
Have you read Cosey's book? I've been considering picking it up.
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I fucking hate my life. It’s 6 am and I’ve been crying for hours because I’m 26, my life is going nowhere, I can’t be with the man I truly love, my husband is a piece of shit, I live at home with my mom, and the bitches who went to my high school are more successful than me and have everything I don’t have like a life, a career, and freedom. Someone please put me out of my misery, I’m too fucking scared to do it myself. Fuck me for being stupid and all the shitty mistakes and decisions I made. Fuck heroin. Fuck EVERYTHING.
I used to go to the gym but it was mostly older ladies and dudebros. So I just lifted and didn't talk much.
My town is the kind that has a lot more middle aged, older people and kids because young adults all move somewhere else for college. I did, too, but came back and now I'm stuck with an online course until the end of next year when I can finally move to somewhere better…
this has fascinated me like if you see someone sperging about, say, Star Wars, you won't hear them sperging about it on the fact it's an American thing
yet when nerds bring up anime, kpop, and the likes, why is it often centered around on how it's an Asian thing?
it kinda rubs me off the wrong way like giving me "it's so exotic"/fetishistic vibes
(also i'm not from the US so maybe i just see it that way)
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it used to mean something else but these days it pretty much refers to all this shit
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NTA but you reminded me that I really want an instax, fuck.
Does anyone here have one? Which one should I buy?
The Hello Kitty one is so cute but maybe I should a more high-tech one?
So pretty much anything teenage girls like getting made fun of. Nothing new.
I feel personally attacked for them singling out the colour yellow though, the fuck is wrong with a colour as happy as yellow
It’s always been like that though, every single subculture has trademark fashion. And this is still very much just making fun of what young girls/women like considering they make up the majority of the ‘arthoe’ demographic, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever even heard of someone using the word arthoe and meant male.
So again, girls getting made fun of for what they like - nothing new.
yes, it's not just that though. and it's not even literally just a female thing, and it's not about fashion. the fashion is the absolute tip of the iceberg. i dont know what the term is for guys, but that's why my initial post was commenting on 'artsy' culture. it's like, i don't know how old you guys are but i remember when juno came out and diablo cody's idea of what teenagers were like… and it was like… "uhh, most teenagers are not like this?", you know, back in 2006 or whatever. i feel like the most popular subculture now is for kids and young adults to see themselves as characters in a diablo cody vehicle. i miss kids and young adults earnestly being into actual lame shit, not soft core porn 'aesthetic' artsy bullshit and twelve layers of faux lofi. i dont mind this subculture existing, my issue is that this is literally THE ONLY subculture that exists>>403817
they're not. the aesthetic is called arthoe for other reasons and it isn't about succulents, and plenty of them aren't teenagers. this isn't a teen exclusive thing at all the range is expanding and that's what's so weird about it. you're taking that anons pic to mean something it doesn't take it up with the people who came up with the term. there's no other real term to describe it that i can think of. just 'artsy' culture in general is shit
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the cutesy things really are not arthoe. this is more 'arthoe'
Guys who are into art are "sadbois" or whatever and equally ridiculous, and I'd argue a lot more dangerous to others but they're not called a derogatory name.
They read Ray Bradbury and Ayn Rand, smoke camels, listen to Neutral Milk Hotel and hook up with girls on Bumble that they lead on, making them think they have feelings for them but are "just too depressed for a relationship right now". But nobody calls them
hoes, yet if a girl wears a cute choker or uses a dog filter she's a hoe.
A lot of girls have started calling them out on their bullshit recently though so good on them.
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I would recommend getting one of those portable printers you can hook up to your phone like the HP Sprocket or Polaroid Zip. That way you can choose exactly which pictures from your phone to print and don't have to take a gamble and waste film on photos that often turn out shitty.
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A friend of mine just wouldn't stop sperging about a guy who cosplays a lot with her and it's obvious she has a crush on him. She wouldn't stop interrupting conversations, sometimes very important ones, to talk about this guy and you would think his a 11/10 man. It has gotten to the point of almost everyone leaving our group conversations on Line and FB whenever she shows up.
Yesterday she tells me her and another friend are going shopping and she asks me if I want to come with them. Sure enough, I go out with them and she forgot to mention her crush is here too. Poor guy looks hideous and inbred, he smelled terrible so I had no idea how to react. I wasn't expecting to see him irl so I awkwardly says I heard a lot about him (implying because of cosplay and anime cons) while greeting him. We made small talk and he went home.
My friend was being a bitch for the rest of the day and acting like a 12 y/o little girl and wouldn't stop saying things like while interrupting our conversations:
>waaaaah why did you say that it's going to be awkward noooow :'(
>he's going to imagine things about meeee
Bitch you wouldn't stop sperging about this fugly man and ditching me in anime cons to stay with him, you can just tell him I know about your cosplay projects or some shit, which isn't even a lie.
Glad she'll leave the country in a few months, I can't stand her anymore. She won't stop sperging about everything inappropriate online and irl in general. A few hours ago she posted a 2deep4me tweet about how falling in love is haaard you guys, and she has to forget about him because she'll travel but she doesn't want to forget about him.
He's 4 and he was with other cats at the shelter for 8 months before I got him. No idea about his history, as they got him from another shelter in the city and apparently they didn't know much. They assured me he was fine as a solitary cat but I'm having my doubts, maybe he is lonely? if so that sucks because I cannot afford 2.
The vet said everything with him was fine and that he might be trying to display dominance and told me to yell no any time he bites and walk away from him, which I have. That's all the advice they gave.
He is a very good cat otherwise, he's super friendly and doesn't destroy things, but the constant biting. He's never broken skin but it still hurts and sometimes I can't even pet him without him trying to gnaw. There are times where he loves to be pet and and won't bite but they are rare. It's not just me he bites either, he does it to my partner and also to visitors.
"art hoe" was actually a self-given term – "hoe" was specifically used by art hoes to "reclaim" the term. I feel like I've been describing what an art hoe actually is really poorly lol. Basically a black teenage artist coined the term "art hoe" for young people (specifically for people of color but not exclusively) who are interested in art. specifically it involved people using artistic individuality and expression to combat racial stereotypes. it was then co-opted by a wave of people (not just teenagers) vaguely using the term to describe their style while completely ignoring the whole "artistic expression" bit. I know it seems dumb to focus on things like backpacks lol but Fjallraven backpacks are expensive as are a lot of the other things "art hoes" wear which has nothing to do with the original intent of the term, it's just yet another way to flex on people. There are a lot of people like this where I live – they buy things on vinyl by artists they don't actually listen to, they go to museums just to take selfies with art but couldn't tell you who the artist is, etc. You can't actually have discussions with them about the things they say they like basically. It's not making fun of girls for what they like so much as making fun of girls for what they pretend
I will say though that I agree it specifically targets women, and men deserve the same level of scrutiny (if not moreso).
Do you have things he can climb on, other than the tables ? Like cat trees, a cat bed, that sort of stuff. And do you play with him until he gets tired ?
Cats going out of their way to be aggressive might have too much energy which causes them to get easily over-stimulated (so they really need to be played with until they've spent all of it), or he might feel like he doesn't have space to run around and climb on, which would cause him to feel cornered when he's in your space.
Also, it might be worth it to ask the shelter for advice, if they're the sort to do follow-ups on their cats put in new homes. Shelters have seen a lot of cases of cats with weird behaviors, so they could have an idea of what's causing this.
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this isn't really a vent but idk what to do or where to ask this. any anons with cats:
yesterday my cat was playing and he dug his claws really hard into the carpet, then ran off. i think he got spooked by his sister or something. anyway when i went to see if he was ok, because his tail was all fluffed, i noticed one of his nail sheaths was sticking out and the nail underneath was bloody.
he licked it a little and would walk around, not crying in pain or limping. then i saw him remove the nail sheath himself (as all owners have seen; cats will remove their own dead nail sheaths kind of like cutting their own nails). again he didn't make any noise or anything. it didn't continuously bleed either.
this morning i checked on him. he's acting normal and happy. i inspected the nail by gently pressing on it to make it come out. there's dried blood on it but the new nail is still there so it's not like it got torn off or anything. he didn't make a noise when i touched it and he even purred a few seconds later when i asked if he wanted food (his favorite). and he's still acting totally normal.
i freaked out when i saw blood but do you guys think it's ok? he's not reacting as if it's painful, it's not continuously bleeding and the nail is intact. should i just leave it alone?
Aw man it sucks that you don't know about his history, it could be helpful. For all we know, he might just have been taken too soon from his mother (which often results in misbehavior and bad socialization), could have bad experiences with human hands or the biting could be something the previous owners never bothered to train - thus he might use it on you like he always did once he got comfortable with you as his new owner. But that's all just speculation.
Though it also could be loneliness if he didn't grow up to be a single housecat for several years. In contrary to popular belief, cats aren't inherently loners and can develop antisocial issues due to it (scratching on furniture or walls, aggression, apathy (often confused with laziness), excessive meowing if it's uncommon for the cats race, hostility towards affectionate gestures etc).
The advice the vet gave is good, when my cats used to bite or scratch or got too wild on me as kittens, I used to shout "Ow!!"(even if it didn't hurt that much), pulled back the place they bit and distanced myself from them/left the room as soon as they did and they first got softer with their bits, then switched to licking instead when their teeth touched my skin and then eventually stopped completely. I'd watch your cat and his body language closely to figure out the moment he usually bites and scream "no!" BEFORE he manages to bite you or your phone. Cats react more to positive responses than to punishments, so when he actually listens to you and doesn't bite, be sure to instantly reward him with praise, treats and pats. As for the jumping tables thing, invent a gesture and/or word to let him know that you don't want him to be there and then put him down. When my cats did that too, I sternly said "get down" and pointed with me finger to the ground, then put them down. Nowadays I don't even have to put them down anymore, I just make the gesture and say the word and it works for any place I don't want them to be on. Again, when your cat understands the gesture and jumps down the first few times, reward him with pets and praise afterwards (just not necessarily with treats because he might be using jumping up and down your table as a way to get treats lol).>He's never broken skin but it still hurts and sometimes I can't even pet him without him trying to gnaw.
That's interesting, how is his facial and body language when he does that? Is he relaxed? Are his ears normal or angled? How does his tail move? Does he fixate on the place he wants to bite? Does he bite immediately after you pet him or only after a few seconds? When you hold your hand in front of him (not directly but under his nose in height) and let him sniff on it, does he pull back, freeze and stare on your hand or bite it? Or can you stroke his cheek afterwards without getting bitten?
In general, if he's healthy please stay patient with him, give him clear signals like you already do and only use punishments like water spraying if he doesn't change in several months or if it gets much worse. Even though it can get very frustrating, please never hit your cat. Your assumption is right that they only develop more issues from violence and considering you don't know his history other that he's already been in 2 shelters in his young lifetime, that could be extra bad. If it doesn't get much worse and you're actively do something about it, I can't imagine he'll keep that behavior for long and will grow out of it.
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Yesterday I debated with my bf about transgender issues. I stated that it's sick how children undergo puberty block medication and hormones (and surgery) and he just didn't get what I was trying to say. I wasn't speaking ill about trans people at all and yet he said that I don't take their problems seriously. Wtf, being concerned about CHILDREN is taking this matter seriously! I said that I was just criticizing but he said that me thinking how it's sick isn't just criticizing to him. He didn't understand me at all and suddenly I felt like the bad guy. I tried to explain how it's not healthy for kids use puberty blocking meds etc. but he just didn't pay attention or care at all.
He just doesn't see anything wrong about this at all. It's all black and white to him. There were other things too we debated about, like I defended women-only spaces and he didn't understand them either…
I just feel like shit now. I have depression and some kind of abandonment complex and I fear that he might leave me because my opinions. Sounds silly but I do fear that… And what makes me feel even worse is that he chose to protect his friends' ideology over understanding how I feel and actually LISTEN what I have to say. I obviously need to talk to him about this.
I'm not sure about that. I bought my disinfectant from my vet but some pet shops sell them too. I read normal disinfectants and wipes can be toxic
for cats so I'd advertise against that.
You need new friends and a new (or no) boyfriend who have a few brain cells and some hobbies other than fucking.
There's so much more to life than sex. Sounds hellish tbh that that's all they talk about? They need to get a life.
the autism about whether animu characters are white or poc made me stop reading the thread for a while
are they still sperging about it
I reported all the posts, hopefully the thread gets back on track.
I feel like it's the same few people doing this and shitting up all of /ot/. Even the reaction images are often the same.
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I used to love art so much, I was always known as "the quiet girl who draws" growing up and it used to be so much fun for me. Then my depression hit and it became so hard for me to find the enjoyment in drawing. It turned into a dreaded chore instead of a fun hobby. My art was never good enough for my impossible standards so why even bother?
It makes me really sad that I stopped. I wonder how good of an artist I could've been by now if I didn't give up on myself. Lately I've really wanted to get back into making art again, purely for my own enjoyment, just self indulgent stuff that makes me happy, no pressure at all. I got myself a little watercolor set and even nice Prismacolor colored pencils but they've been sitting in my room for a couple months untouched because I'm too scared to use them. I feel like I'm not good enough for good supplies and will only ruin or waste them.
I hate that I associate making art with so much fear and anxiety. I miss being younger when I would pump out tons of cringy shitty fanart and I didn't even care how 'perfect' they were because I was having fun. I just wish I could get my passion back.
i think its the same 3 or so people based on their writing style. also, the one who writes those giant paragraphs is definitely some sort of male or tranny. its probably not regular users or this bullshit would be constant, but instead it only pops up once in a while.
i think we just get brigaded every few months by trolls, i remember something similar happening last autumn when there were all those eye colour spergs.
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Are you me, anon? I literally posted the same thing a few days ago…
Maybe make baby steps and start with simple drawings? And if it's shit then so what? At least you're starting somewhere again. Either way, don't force yourself if you don't enjoy it.
Hopefully you'll feel better knowing you're not the only one deals with this.
Forget the idea of being 'the girl who was good at art', holding on to stuff like that makes everyone depressed e.g. the aging highschool beauty queen.
If you're too anxious to use your nice supplies then pick up the shittest biro that you can find in the house and plain paper. Even just use the back of receipts or inside of cereal boxes if that helps.
Find a 'drawing a day' challenge and stick to it, even if they're shit, keeping at it will help you to relearn basic things that you don't have in muscle memory anymore and eventually you will enjoy it.
If you still can't enjoy making art that isn't perfect after a month then maybe you need to move onto a hobby you can be less judgmental about.
Damn anons, i also have the same problem.>I hate that I associate making art with so much fear and anxiety.
Maybe that's the reason of our problem? Our fear of failure and perfectionism make us scared to even start to draw. I was also thinking if we should just change the subject of our drawings. I always draw people, so maybe if i will start to draw something else - landscapes, still life for example, or change drawing technique, try to paint, it gonna be like fresh start? >>404054
Maybe you don't really need social interactions that much, just try to get a few people to talk with, especially with similar interest. I was like you in the past. Now i realised that i don't need many people to feel good. I just talk with someone from time to time and that's all.
this is really good advice, thank you ladies.
Maybe he’s not very good at arguing for himself. Or maybe the discussion was pushed upon him before he could read about it or learn about it beforehand.
He doesn’t want to choose between his friends and his girlfriend. So it’s easier taking the liberal route. A less critical ideology.
I don’t think he’ll leave you. People often have different opinions. It’s not all or nothing.
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I really hate that I'm awful at taking selfies and that it's such a hassle for me. I can't tell if I'm really that ugly, just unphotogenic or if the distortion meme is somewhat true because when I look in the mirror, I feel good.
I see pretty girls on twitter with flawless/aesthetic photos and it makes me feel like shit that I can't look that good and then I feel even more like shit for being envious. Man I just wish I was pretty and rich lmao
Yeah, it's a shame. I don't exactly want to befriend only other introverted people, just knowing more people who are on my level of introversion exist nearby would be… good, in a way. Thanks to the internet I'm not alone in this in the world, but when I was younger I thought I was such a freak.
I've been getting those urges to socialize lately but the only thing that happens in my town are those little religious festivities so not the best place to meet other people in their 20s… But… I'll give anything a shot from now on.
social media is super fake. good selfies take a lot of effort. chances are there are a lot of beautiful people you like that still look like a potato in a selfie. it's like that for most people.
I'm currently pretty happy with my looks regardless of selfies
t. potato selfie taker
Is it a button that auto unwarps? That sounds crazy cool.>>404174
Yeah I did notice majority of them were edited. I guess I just have to stop comparing myself to other people.
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Dating is fucking hard when you're a painfully uninteresting person who spends all their free time at home because they still have no friends where they live. How do I explain that in the 3 years they've lived somewhere they still have no friends, only have access to people outside of work because of tinder, not in school yet, still can't drive so no I can't meet you at that location and feel safe in knowing I can bail at any time without having to wait however long it takes for an uber.
I feel like trash. Every conversation I've had with people that last more than a few messages pretty much goes like
>Are you in school?
>Have you been to ____?
>Do you wanna come with me to ____?
I hate myself for being this way and I hate where I'm at right now. I hate that starting my life pretty much is contingent on whether or not I pass my drivers test next week and before anyone asks I just turned 20 which gives me even more reason to hate the fact that I'm like this. I met this really cute guy and I'm pretty positive I won't be able to keep him interested until I can drive myself. My life right now is just work and drinking whenever I feel like entertaining myself. Maybe I'll get lucky and find a man who thinks my hermit personality is ~super cute and charming.
The driving thing is the only issue I see. Once you can drive, then you can go wherever you want without being afraid.
Those conversations seem very boring, though, and that's likely why you're having trouble. If what you typed is an accurate description, you don't give open responses at all. 'Are you in school?' 'No, I'm still thinking about what I want to do with my life, I'm interested in doing x and x maybe but I don't want to get into debt without knowing for sure what I'm doing. For now I'm just working at x, it pays the bills and gives me time to work on (these other things I do in my free time and hobbies, artistic interests, etc). Do you like (these things)? What about you, did you go to school around here? Or do you work?' There are lots of points in that conversation where the guy can interject and talk about your/his interests, jobs, school, etc. You can find out if you like similar things, which gives huge areas of stuff to talk about. Then you can mention that you moved here recently and you're excited to pass your driver's test so that you can start exploring the area. Then he can talk about interesting things in the area (gives him the chance to impress you and talk about something he knows about), make tentative plans for the future.
Most people genuinely do spend their time indoors, people are lazy as fuck. If you do anything other than read bullshit on your phone with Netflix on in the background or play video games, you have an edge up on people. Lots of 20 year old girls don't even have jobs and just mooch off their parents or take some nonsense course at uni. You don't even seem to be a hermit since you want to get friends and a driver's licence so that you can get out more, so you're just temporarily in an undesirable situation.
You also seem unconfident and like you just want to settle for some guy who 'doesn't mind' that you're a hermit, rather than embracing who you are and what you like to do. I don't think you'll meet nice people that way, and if you market yourself like that, you'll just get abusive
jerks that would want to exploit a low self esteem gf.
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My boyfriend is arguing with me and calling me a horrible reactive person because I think this design is disgusting and I'm clearly saying girls with petite bodies are made for pedos.. I'm a child abuse victim who was groomed by lolicons and loli stuff directly connects to my abuse.. I just think it's sketchy and FE is known for lolicon shit..
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I don't know what the fuck im doing with my life and im too confused to actually do something about it. I want to work making illustrations, but like >>404059
perfectly described, i have lost all motivations and passion for it, i just don't' care anymore, but it doesn't end there, almost everything in my life has no meaning, and it's crushing me inside. I tried everything but nothing it's working, it's like something it's broken inside and i can't fix it anymore. I tried to go to a therapist but something happened there that made me blow up things out of proportion like a total dumbass and then i stopped going there, so now im ashamed to even go back. What the fuck is wrong with me? why im so impulsive? why everything makes me go apeshit just to feel absolute emptiness afterward? i used to be cool and full of motivation, now im frustrated and disappointed. I used to know myself but now i can't even tell who i am or what things i like, its like im a different person each day. This is totally weird because i didn't use to be this unstable, i was hella nervous but i wasn't in RAGE mode every time something bad happened nor i felt so dead inside. I know this post screams bpd but i was never clingy or dependent to anyone nor i care for what people say or if they like me (it seems to be the main symptom). Sorry for the typos, my english sucks.
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i want to kill myself because i feel like no matter who i'm with or what pills i take or whatever i do i will always be this anxious. i'll also always be consumed by my other mental illness. i can't remember what it's like to not be constantly fixated on something. either it be death or some possibility which would ruin me. i haven't felt happy since 2012. i would kill myself but my dad would be devastated and he's already been through enough.
I can imagine that some tifs and hsts are decent people with severe internalized misogyny/homophobia, even if I'd personally never be able to put up with it irl. I don't know how anyone could tolerate a transbian though. Even if they were incredibly kind and nice on the outside, I'm just ethically opposed to people who choose to erase the definition of woman despite our desperate need for sex based language to legally define and organize ourselves as a group.
In general I feel like we're being silenced so thoroughly and it's becoming so dangerous to women, feminism and children, especially gay/gnc kids, that we need to take a hard line and stop coddling them or hiding our opinions for fear of offending them. Transgenderism is a case of the emperors new clothes and I could never bring myself to play along, so I'll never be friends with one.
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This is the most agonizing tooth pain I've ever had, I really hope my dentist will take me in. Already called in to work because it's really that bad.
My mom was recently diagnosed with ADHD at the tender age of 65, and immediately told me all about it. We've always known there was some kind of hereditary mental illness in the family, and all of the symptoms that she described were, apparently, literally classic to the presentation of severe, untreated adult ADHD. It effects every single female I am closely related to.
It's bizarre, it fits literally every major underlying problem I have, what I always thought was just being extremely avoidant and incompatible with society. Even little things I thought were just a fluke of my biology, like drugs effecting me in weird ways (cocaine made me relaxed and chatty more like alcohol, coffee makes me sleepy and calm unless I have loads of it, meth had literally no effect besides making me anxious).
I really want to try to get meds for it, but I'm scared of coming off as just drug-seeking. I do drink frequently and have tried a variety of drugs before, so I'm worried that if I'm honest about that it would make the likelihood of anyone taking me seriously even worse, since I would probably seem like an addict. But I also really want to be honest about my life and try to seek help for my issues, so that I can stand some chance of actually doing something with my life.
I tried therapy once before and it was totally useless. On the second session I was trying to describe that I was having panic attacks without ever hearing the term before or even knowing what anxiety was meant to feel like, and the therapist literally looked up 'panic attacks' on Wikipedia in front of me, claimed I was drug seeking to my face, and dismissed me. It was incredibly humiliating.
IDK. I feel like this is the thing that might actually finally help me. But I'm scared to mess up in my presentation and don't know how to start at all. Worried I will blow it before I even begin.
In my experience, what will convince mental health professionals that you're serious is explaining what you want out of a diagnosis, how badly your issues currently affect you, and how a diagnosis (and possibly medication) can help. Show them you've done your research and know what you need from them. Telling them your mom now has this diagnosis and that your symptoms are the same is one thing that will show you're not making things up.
When you tried therapy before, did you go seeking a specific diagnosis, or was it general therapy where you talk things out ? The latter is rarely useful, from what I've been told. Also it's much easier to become a therapist than an actual psychiatrist, and therapists don't know as much about specific disorders and aren't nearly as educated regarding medication. An actual psychiatrist will understand what you're dealing with and won't dismiss you as drug-seeking.
I got my autism diagnosis recently and before making the first step I was like you, thinking I'd fuck up and explain things so badly I wouldn't be taken seriously. But I did my research, wrote down a clear list of things I wanted to say to the doctor and I did pretty okay. Just go there prepared and with solid knowledge, even take your mom with you to back you up if you'd like. I'm sure you can do it, anon.
Sounds like maladaptive daydreaming to me anon. It's more common than you think.
If it heavily interferes with your daily life I'd seek help.
yeah i disagree, i wouldnt just do that all willynilly, but i think it's interesting. i'm actually surprised at how many farmers seem to make money off of their art and off camming.
a really large percentage of our userbase seems to be artists who make a living at it. it really surprises me
>guy I knew several years ago from back home becomes interested in me
>think why not since I'm recently single
>we do a lot of long distance communication ie. camming and sending pics until he decides he wants to fly in to visit
>take Friday through Monday off
>seems like he's staying for awhile but think nothing of it
It's terrible so far.
First of all, I told him in advance I can't host because I live at home and my mom is a mean and intrusive person. I warned him to save up money since we'd have to stay in the city where I'm picking him up at. Yet he rolls in with a whopping $200. I've had to eat a lot of costs and I have no money. That was his only job and he failed at it.
And I'm sick. Two days before he got here I fell ill. I need rest but all I've been doing is running around and sleeping in uncomfortable, cheap places because of his unprepared ass.
Secondly, he actually is a boring slob. He's fatter than how he appeared on cam and he looks so low effort. All he's done is the his hair back, with a baseball cap, and wear a hoodie every day. Sweaty and hairy. I was embarassed introducing him to my friends. He looked me straight in the eyes when we were talking about self care and basically said he's never going to bother exercising because he likes being lazy. As if I couldn't fucking tell.
Other gems include: "Hurr I have bad credit" and "Hurr I can't drive," wow, totally desirable characteristics I want to hear from someone almost 30! Such date material!
I don't remember him being a sperg but he also can't communicate anything to me outside pseudo intellectual geek fandom and rap songs (he's white as snow so this is extra cringe).
I wish I could say the sex was good but no. He has a sad, small, flaccid fat boy dick but fortunately he doesn't last long so it was over in under 2 minutes. Awful.
Because he lacked money we're forced to book a crack hotel where I was catcalled. The room was a nightmare.
Last night I went ahead and used my credit to book a $100 room downtown just so I would have someplace clean and comfortable where I could sleep.
I'm also hungry, but this lying fatass is pretending he doesn't want to eat (to impress me about portion control but dude if you had any you wouldn't have gotten so fat), and I've tried suggesting local cuisine but he acts uninterested and just goes for shit he could eat back home. And then he wastes half the food anyway because he's pretending he's not a fatty mcfaterton.
Now we're wandering about a mall aimlessly because there's nothing to fucking plan on a Monday, but this ass didn't book his flight until 8pm and I had to check out of my nice hotel at 11am. I'm stuck entertaining him and he's wondering why I'm not being bubbly and peppy.
I'm tired. I'm sick. I'm socially drained and this guy is up in my space and is annoying me. I haven't had a single break from his face since Friday.
I can tell he wants a relationship but it's absolutely not fucking happening. I just want him gone. I want to pretend I've never made such a shameful decision.
All that and you STILL had sex with him?!? Wtf
You should have noped out and gone back home after the first day. He’s an adult. It’s his own problem if he didn’t bring any money and can’t drive.
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I genuinely do like the design, she's cute, but it feels just that bit skeevy, you know? With their track record of "1k year old child", I just don't trust it. She just looks.. very young to me if not around 14-15. I'm not even saying like, everyone who likes her is a disgusting pedo, I just feel like it could be way creepy and.. yeah. I hate that I'm so reactive to this shit, but I get so uncomfortable with designs bc lolishit reminds me so much of my grooming.
Was hoping the sex would be good but that was another thing I was terribly wrong about.
I've just made a bad decision and am sowing the consequences. It sucks, but hopefully I can cut communication when he leaves and can bury this nonsense.
He's having a swell old time btw.
Hard to tell who’s a child in anime, but heck. She’s wearing a nonsensical blue thing that doesn’t cover much, a tiny bra on top of that, and a harness
Don’t let these weebs gaslight you. With anime and JRPGs it’s almost never “innocent”
Ask him what the difference is between a petite young looking woman and a child, in anime art. (Clue: There usually isn't one.) Ask him what the visual difference between this chick and Nowi from Fates is, since Nowi is explicitly meant to look 9 years old.
Unless he can give you tangible, real differences in the artwork then he's full of shit.
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Not a long time ago I found out that one of my must-see musicians is coming on tour, of course I asked my best friend and concert buddy if she wants to come with me. She says yes because she likes the music too, so I go ahead and buy two tickets for both of us. This was at the end of march.
I was so excited about this concert not only because of the show itself, but because I also like my concert adventures with my best friend and just hand out with her because we barely see each other so it's also a great chance to talk and catch with each other.
So, I just opened my emails and I saw that she wrote me an email that went like "Hi, can my boyfriend come with us?". And that's it.
First of all: Since when does she have a boyfriend and why out of sudden? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having people going to concerts, even people I don't know or are friends of my friends, as long they are chill I'm fine but something about the wording irked me the absolute wrong way. Maybe because I assumed that I would only go with her and not find myself in a 3rd wheel situation because when she has a boyfriend, she is super fixed on them.
I still don't know how to phrase an answer to this because "Can my boyfriend come with us?" is pretty stupid to ask when there are still tickets to buy, well then just buy one if he can and that's it.
Of course will I say yes because an "No" would just look super awkward and I'm not in a mood to discuss that kind of bs…
Now I wish I would've decided to go alone because then I don't have to deal with other people's people.
I think she is asking because she knows that going to concerts is something between the two of you, and having her boyfriend there might make it different than how it’s usually been. It would probably be worse
to have the tickets and then find out the day of the show that her boyfriend is tagging along, if you were just expecting your bff. So even though it seems kind of silly to ask she is trying to be polite about it.
tbh i don't care if anyone likes loli "bodies" it's not that bad. what the real issue is is being attracted to characters that are children and state that they're children or acts
like a child. if the character is 1000 years old and say in FE a political leader, who cares. it's creepy a bit maybe, but in stuff like dragon maid where the character is ""1000 years old"" (but 8 in human years) and goes to fucking elementary school
there's an issue there.
Is it really necessary to go to a synagogue to pray or during specific events? I think it's better to stay safe than take risks but I'm biased since I'm not very religious in the first place. I'm way more familiar with Islam and hearing about the terror attack in the mosque in NZ was frustrating because in the end it's not necessary to go to a mosque to pray so I'm sure some of the victims
could have been somewhere else at the time.
I get you're not religious, but seriously? For a religious person, their faith is a core component of their identity and our places of worship aren't just a place for us to practice our faith together, but a place for our community to come together and support each other. Even people who aren't religious, but grew up in Jewish families still come because they grew up with these people and really care about them. Not feeling safe in our places of worship isn't as simple as "just don't go" like come on. Also, that doesn't nothing to change the fact that there are still people out there who want my family and I dead. If anything it would make me feel wore for giving into them.
Not to mention, that doesn't in any way change the fact that you're still a hate crime target. Most hate crimes against Jews don't even happen in synagogues, but usually to individuals or families.
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I realized that I'm a superficial person when it comes to dating men and I think I'm becoming more accepting of it. I find looks to be just as important as personality. I'm not asking for god-tier adonis-esque looks nor do I have a long list of requirements to dating me. But I'm always going after a type that I find myself physically attracted to and then deciding on their personality to then confirm my emotional attraction. I'm shallow, not exactly proud of it but I don't really see myself changing it.
I agree. Plus I don't get why they will get bitter and salty about it. I've tried dating men who are attractive, but whom I not entirely attracted to physically. It didn't work for me and I don't want to lie to myself nor the person I'm dating since it would really hurt knowing that the person your dating isn't physically attracted to you.>>404438
I won't bitch about getting old since all of us are getting old, but bitching about gaining weight is dumb. If it becomes a concern for me then I would approach to help them since I have lost weight before. I will help and support them since not everyone can lose weight the same way. Weight can be changed.
Agreed and it's not just for your own sake. A decent partner deserves someone who finds them attractive. I think I'd fucking die if it turned out my bf wasn't attracted to me, that level of insult and humiliation is far beyond any straight forward rejection.
Men care less about being found desirable but that just shows how they see us as sex objects who owe them beauty. They should feel obligated to be attractive to us too, maybe then they wont be so unkempt and lazy overall.