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No. 389323
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I thought I would be happy
it doesn't get better
No. 389326
Me. I'll be turning 25 some time this year. I feel behind on … everything. My friends and colleagues are either graduated and working, getting good internships, or going to grad school, and I'm just some stupid fuck struggling to finish my degree. I'm also struggling with some anxiety and mental health issues that's been … lagging behind because of school.
I think I'm too old to start taking music a bit seriously. I used to play violin and piano when I was younger, but now that school basically took over my life now, I don't have time. However, I swapped out violin/piano for singing and it's a nice change because I can sing whenever, wherever I want within constraints. I wouldn't mind trying to build a side project based around music, but I can't write lyrics and all the melodies I have in my head wouldn't sound good played on an instrument. It's like the saying, good in theory, bad in practice.
Additionally, I don't think I have the brain juice anymore to learn programming, though my degree is kind of about that. Sad, isn't it? My friends are all working in nice, big companies in SF/Bay Area and I'm just some sad little loser trying to eke out some semblance of a life. This is probably the easiest and surest path to money and stability, but I actually hate coding and anything tech-y. Yet, here I am, trying to sell my soul out to pay off loans and for a chance to live somewhere sunny.
My dream job would be to be a copyeditor for some publication, but I don't know if I'm creative, smart or sensible enough to do so, although I do copyediting for some school stuff. I don't really know how to jump from this to an actual career. Any ideas? I'm not a terrible writer and I really enjoy ripping apart written works (in a good way) and make them better.
Honestly, this sounds super edgy, but I didn't really think I'd live this long. I always thought I would off myself, but here I am. I'm still alive and kind of aimless. I am trying to do more to make myself more "employable" and human ie. better rounded, by joining extracurriculars for school and trying to get a part-time job for next term that will really help me with the job I would ideally want (like above).
I don't know if life will get any better, though my friends say it does get better after school. Sometimes, I just want to end it all because I can't stand the uncertainty. I'm so scared for the future, especially so because I'm such an incomplete human being, in both life and school.
No. 389334
>>389326> I'm too old to start taking music a bit seriouslyI hate to break to you but as someone turning 30, you might not 'get over' your passion so you may as well just try. If you have any time for music now just get over the cringe, being in school is a fantastic opportunity to find a band you can join, you could put up a sign on a noticeboard on campus and music shops being totally honest about how little you know, the worst thing that can happen is that nobody contacts you.
It sounds like your degree could be really useful in life so you should give it an earnest try, but it's not weird for people to end up in totally different professions so keep up your copyediting and volunteering for writing to build that up. You can try getting into editing essays for other students if you're good at it, too.
>>389323Same. I keep telling myself that I'll be a cool 40-something, but I'm so behind everyone right now. I don't know how I got so boring and underachieved without even doing something fun and reckless to end up in this situation, teenage me would be so disappointed
No. 389336
Lmao I’m barely in my 20’s and I’m constantly having an existential crisis, I have fallen behind everyone I know. I dropped out of highschool, ran away from home, had a kid at 19 (just as I was starting uni, thanks uterus), and now when I was finally going to get my degree up and going at 21 I’ve gotten pregnant again (once again, thanks uterus.). So the knowledge that I’m just gonna lab behind another 2 or so years is definitely getting me down, I’m just trying to strike out from home now.
Only thing making me feel better is knowing all the people I went to school with that have finished their degrees either have been unable to find work or they already hate their jobs and have gotten really fucking fat. I feel like pretty much everyone in their 20s is having a crisis though because we keep getting pushed this idea that we have to have everything worked out super young, we all have to get a bachelors, and if don’t achieve a 6 figure salary by the time we’re 30 then we’ve failed at life. Hell, most people I know can’t even move out of home. Just a depressing time to live in when the handful of people that somehow do manage high salaries young and get to travel and whatnot can rub it in the faces of the average person via social media
I’m just honestly getting myself to come to terms with the fact that I’m average, probably always will be average, and that that’s completely fine and not something to stress over. I should just enjoy life to the fullest I can regardless of my circumstances
No. 389337
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>>389318we live in such a youth-obsessed culture I have never felt truly young, or my age — just aware of how much older I’m always getting, if that makes sense. I have always felt so old, and I have always, always privately held the belief that I will burn out in my mid-twenties. sure enough I’m 22 now and I feel the push and pull of not wanting to disappoint or hurt those who love me, while also not wanting anything for myself. it’s like sinking into sand. there’s not much on my horizon line, because I can think myself out of all the things I care about, I can always dismiss fleeting hopes and passions and reasons to move forward… or move at all. it’s gotten to the point where I let everything I used to care about fall from my hands. I have relinquished control and am on autopilot.
like
>>389323 said I thought I would be happy, or managing, moving forward. I had high expectations for myself. honestly, the understanding that me at my most hopeful would be crushed to learn of present me’s state … is what hurts me the most? I feel like I have fundamentally disappointed a little girl. a little girl who doesn’t even feel like me, which makes it more painful
No. 389348
>>389341Vast majority of people who have a functioning uterus don't manage to fall in your situation.
>>389345Yeah, no, I agree with the other poster. Two unplanned pregnancies at such a young age are definitely a strong indicator of bad life choices and she should admit it to herself.
No. 389354
>>389342Dress as cute as you want! I’m 28 and only recently gained the courage to dress like I always wanted to. Cute clothes? Yes. Goth/emo/edgy? Gimme dat. Normie relaxed ripped jeans and adidas sneakers? Send it my way.
Feels so good when you don’t care anymore. Unfortunately, it happened after death in my family and lots of things stopped mattering to me, but it’s very freeing.
No. 389358
>>389348Pregnancy is absolutely something only someone with a functioning uterus experiences, and again, I was just trying to make light of my fucking situation. Why are you guys unable to extend a bit of empathy and just let it go, fuck me. For Gallo you know they’re both rape babies and I didn’t have access to safe abortion or something else along those lines but yeah, let’s just act like pregnancy is something that could never possibly affect young women unless they’re stupid and just asking for it.
I’ll take this as a lesson to never vent about things in spaces made for venting.
No. 389364
>>389336You sound like a hot mess. Unlike your high school rivals who managed to push themselves through school, they all didn't choose to bring two human beings into the world.
While they have no immediate obligation to get their shit together since their decisions only affect themselves, you are the one who needs to get your shit together early regardless of what society pushes. I'm sorry you didn't predict this about parenthood, but yes, it makes it very hard to travel and to enjoy your youth.
No. 389367
>>389358If you can't handle criticism then LC isn't the website for you.
>Pregnancy is absolutely something only someone with a functioning uterus experiencesNo one was saying otherwise, retard.
No. 389376
>>389365It does a bit, yeah. First happened because I was told I was infertile, and second because in our sleep depraved state my partner and I forgot a condom.
Really not sure why anons are acting like I’ve shit in their cereal, majority of the people I know and even see in online spaces seem to be having a crisis as well - and they didn’t have kids. Majority can’t afford to travel, they’re still living at home with their parents, uni isn’t at all what it was cracked up to be, and they hate their jobs if they somehow manage to find one in their industry. All I’ve done is joke about my own fucking situation.
I’ll stop since at this point I’m just repeating myself and I’m sure other anons would like to vent
No. 389429
>>389384i was being kinda facetious with that
>>389395lol this was the worst part. he said he was “grateful” i’d waited until it was over to tell him because it would have “stressed him out.”
No. 389439
Decided to delete and repost to add more detail.
(Also can you guys stop the pregnancy derailing?)
I'm 26 and have yet to secure a good income for myself. I had to leave school years ago because my best friend died and that put me in a horrendous place I never truly recovered from, which included agoraphobia. I've only really been functional for the past year. Before I couldn't even go to the grocery store alone. I just went back to school, but am struggling a lot and questioning if I'm going to be able to handle getting my bachelor's.
I also have hardly indulged in the fashions I've always wanted to like lolita and a few other kawaii styles. I think the idea of aging out of hobbies and fashions is stupid, but I can't help but feel like I'm getting "too old" to start them. I'm also stressed about certain life style changes I desperately need to make like how I eat and exercising. Plus mental health changes like purging myself of toxicity and figuring out boundaries with people. Also, I haven't accomplished any art I'm proud of even though it's extremely important to me, which fucks with me probably more than anything else does. I started drawing again and I'm very dissatisfied with my skill level. I know it's my own fault for going too long between practice, but it still sucks.
Of the things going right, I'm married to a quality man, which was the goal I held above all else. He's a very good husband and honestly far better than I deserve. We have a large nest egg from inheritance, so that relieves a lot of anxiety, but I still really need to figure out a way to make real money.
I'm also trying to figure out where I want friends to fit in my life. I've experienced both extremes of having no friends around me and having such an active social life it's overwhelming (which is where I'm at now). With friends comes a lot of headaches and I need to figure out a balance of having a decent social life, but keeping people at a healthy distance.
No. 389518
>>389481Hey, anon just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I've got the same settis as you and I found that finding purpose in my hobbies and connecting with other people through them helped me a lot.
I'm a KHV soon turning 29 and aside from having a good job and my own place, I don't feel like an adult. It's as if everyone's grown up and had all these experiences that come naturally with age yet I was left out. I don't want it any differently though, it just feels weird when I look at my life.
My dream is to retreat on some farm and completely dedicate my time to my hobbies and animals. The idea of marriage and family is so alien to me and not appealing. Same as having friends that I go out with. Every social event is a huge chore that takes a humongous toll on my psyche.
No. 389542
>>389481>I feel useless, with no purpose.I love this feeling tbh. what it really means is a lack of obligation and responsibility. I don't want a high flying career, I don't want a husband or kids, I just want to relax and do things I enjoy. I will drop hours and work part time as soon as my mortgage is paid off and retire as early as possible.
It's hard to care about having some important, meaningful existence when I find more joy in my hobbies and alone time than anything else, and can't cope with stress or being overly busy/tired.
No. 389554
24 yrs old, never accomplished anything, dropped out of everything I tried to do, kinda shitty relationship with my parents, lost a lot of friends… Everything in my life is pure trash except for my bf and tbh it makes being alive worth it. Not saying I would definitely kms if he left me, it's just really awesome to have somebody to love and take care of and have that person love you and take care of you back. I don't think I could handle life it I didn't have love, jobs and accomplishment never made me feel as awesome as seing that fucker smile.
>>389519Same, I know what I have to do, I just can never get myself to actually do it.
No. 389558
>>389551I’m one of the anons that posted before, an I agree about the money thing. I don’t care about making lots of money, I just want to be comfortable and able to provide my family with the lifestyle they deserve. But I can’t help but feel like I’m falling behind even though I don’t care about all the things I guess I’m lagging in. It’s just pushed so hard that this is how you should be, that you should always be striving for success and prestige.
I honestly just want to own a little home with a big yard and garden where I can work from home and spend the majority of my day with my family. What’s the point of doing all of this if I can’t even spend time with my loved ones..
No. 389564
>>389558im ayrt and i absolutely agree with you, i would feel motivated to earn more money if I felt my little family needed it, but for myself I can't see the point.
anon, please don't measure yourself with other people's standard. happiness is the comfort inside of your home, not the competition in the outside world. I hope someday you have your big garden, your family and your from home job.
No. 389610
I had my quarter-life crisis and now I feel like I'm becoming the person I was truly meant to be. 26 years old and finally becoming comfortable in my own skin. It's real easy to pretend that the right choices were as clear to you in the past as they are in hindsight, but most of the time that's bullshit. I may have taken the wrong degree, may have wasted 10 years working crappy jobs, may not have done half the stuff I wanted to do - but now I'm here I'm ready to take the right degree, put the work in to get a career, and most of stuff I didn't do I realise I never really wanted to do anyway.
I've moved on from things I used to love purely because I have matured past it, and that's okay. My life is nothing like I thought it would be, and that's also okay. Im a mum, a girlfriend, I have my own nice home and a small income, and I'm happy. Even if my life is not the adventure I pictured!
Hang in there anons. It does get better, you just might have to change your idea of what 'better' looks like.
No. 389675
>>389610>it gets betterI mean, or not.
I'm the same age and I have literally nothing and what I thought was me figuring things out finally was just another glimpse of what could be that got again shut down by my own fucking self sabotaging self.
I'm glad you are happy, but saying things will get better for everyone is not really true.
No. 389695
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How y'all in these depressing situations and still managed to find a boyfriend/husband? It feels like everyone around me is in a relationship. I'm 20 and still haven't had my first kiss. I'm sociable, have lots of friends, look good and dress well, so why?? I know this makes me sound bitter af, but I see the trashiest, weirdest people on the street still managing to get someone and I don't get it.
No. 389699
>>389695Don’t feel bad it’s honestly such a waste of time. I’m a little older than you and had a few serious relationships and even the best ones were pretty shit. Men are entirely worthless these days. If you have
any small standard, 90% of the dating pool dissipates lmao
No. 389714
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I had my life more or less figured out, after being suicidal since being a child. Had a great bf, we were supposed to start working on our apartment last year and I was supposed to move in. Then he dumped and my life came crashing down.
I'm currently 23, stuck at my parents, not poor or smart enough to get some sort of scholarship/benefits to get into a college (not like I know which one I'd want) and it's difficult as shit to get a job in my field. Can't find an apartment thanks to the high prices since airbnb became a thing and most employers don't want to hire people who life far away from work so they don't have to pay them extra for travel.
I'm in the process of going blonde and going to get some new piercings since it's the only thing that makes me feel better, no matter how cliché it is.
Just thinking about this is giving me major anxiety
No. 389716
>>389692
>I can't believe how the trampiest, trashiest people on the street still get into relationships
You answered yourself anon.
Low quality people have low quality relationships. I notice people who are financially well off, have a sense of direction in life, and/or are physically fit/attractive, tend to enter relationships much later on in life. Most of the people I know have relationships when not in a good place (personality is immature/trashy) and/or are too young, tend to complain about them a lot. It's rocky, not very close, abusive, etc. Their relationship might appear cute in front of friends or on Insta, but it's usually far from it. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Be thankful, and just wait.
No. 389724
>>389716>I notice people who are financially well off, have a sense of direction in life, and/or are physically fit/attractive, tend to enter relationships much later on in life. We must live in totally different realities because these people tend to be taken or at least have dating experience in my observations. I see these people having kids much later on in life, but that's totally different.
Genuinely not trying to be mean, but this sounds like the kind of thing an incel would be telling themselves to feel better. There's nothing wrong with being a late bloomer when it comes to romance, anon, but you don't need to stoop to convincing yourself there's something wrong with those who find romance in their early 20's to feel better about being alone.
No. 389730
>>389716>I notice people who are financially well off, have a sense of direction in life, and/or are physically fit/attractive, tend to enter relationships much later on in life.This sounds so much like a cope it's not even funny.
>>38969520 yrs old is really young, you're not that far behind at all, in a way I kinda regret not waiting a little longer before getting into a relationship, they get a lot healthier and more fulfilling as you grow older.
No. 389928
>>38931828. I can't believe I'm so close to be 30 soon. I always imagined 30yo as mature women but I barely understand how to do taxes in the new country I'm living in.
I recently managed to get a nice appartment in a nice area (although my bedroom is super small) But then it kinda hit me that I'm 28 and I have to share my place with a roommate to afford the crazy rent. Plus most people my age are now getting married and buying their own house, even the ones that have pretty boring entry-level kinda job.
And I still don't have my driving licence cause I moved out so soon that I couldn't rely on my parents teaching me for free :/
No. 390048
>>390039Sort of, depends where you live or work. If you live in a big city that has good transportation then it's no big deal (imo).
But for example I used to work in an area that was outside of town and it was like 40min walk from the bus station and sometimes the buses didin't even drive through there so I had to depend on others to drive me, which made me feel like shit and I'm sure my coworkers/family got annoyed at least once with me because they could be doing other stuff rather than drive me around.
So yea, it depends.
No. 390062
>>390034>>390037Teaching your kid to drive is considered a parent's responsibility by literally anyone with standards for parents past "not being so neglectful that your kids die".
Also, I didn't see anon blaming her parents anywhere in that post. She just pointed out she didn't get taught for free by her parents like most people. She even said it was because she decided to move out too early, so if anything she was taking responsibility. Your sperging over this is so unneccessary.
No. 390105
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>How old are you? I will turn 24 this year, but I feel like I've suffered from it since I was a teen. The evening before I turned 16 I cried, because I didn't want to be an adult. But my fear of aging, obsession with staying young and also death in general got really bad when I was 19.
>What things do you feel behind in?I haven't even had my first kiss yet. I still live at my parents, which wouldn't be too bad in itself, but I also have no social life at all. I'm still not able to speak up against my parents. Physically I feel so painfully old, yet mentally, I'm completely stunted. I just didn't experience any of the things normal teens do. Men my age do one night stands, yet for me, even something like hugging or holding hands is unthinkable.
>What things have you accomplished that you're happy with?Got a drivers license, finished school, I go to uni (though not very successfully) and work part time despite having anxiety.
>Is there anything you love that you're starting to feel too old for?I love cartoons and also don't feel guilty about watching them, however, I'd never admit to it in front of same-aged people.
The clothes I like are too childish/teen-ish, so I'm scared that soon I will no longer be able to wear them.
My idea of fun in general is so different from other people my age: I'd like to go to the cinema and eat mcdonalds, but others already like to stay at home with their partners, cook something healthy together…
>How does your life compare to what you pictured it would be by now when you were younger?I kind of always had this image of myself with long wavy hair, perfect makeup, perfect body, in a short red dress, driving a vespa, having many female friends, doing stuff like eating sushi and traveling around the world… Needless to say, I'm the opposite. I know so many girls who are already engaged or at least living together with their bfs. It feels like my former friends simply ran away from me. They've moved away, found new friends, they date - meanwhile I'm stuck. And time is running by faster and faster.
>>390074Same for me. I don't live in the US, but in an extremely rural area, very small town, there's literally nothing here and I fear that I'm never gonna get away…
In a way that also shows how childish I am in comparison to everybody else: I still dream of moving countries, moving to big citiesbetc. Even if I was poor and the city is load, busy and dirty, at least I'd really
live. Meanwhile my old friends already had an exciting life and are now ready to settle down.
No. 390126
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> How old are you?
Just turned 25.
> What things do you feel behind in?
It has taken me 7 years to finish my undergrad. I only took one course at first, then I took a couple years off to work (lowly jobs such as retail and shipping), then I began attending uni part-time for a year before I finally started going full-time. I'm just wrapping up my final semester now, and most people in my classes have been at least few years younger than me. It hasn't stopped me from making friends but I do feel a bit out of touch with people who have gone straight to university from high school.
Also, my cousin is the same age as me and she has just gotten married to a really nice guy and they live in their own custom-built house. I can't help compare myself to her and feel jealous because she's basically living the dream. If I had a significant other and owned my own home, I would probably feel more on track, but there are advantages to being single and renting so I try not to feel too bad about my situation.
> What things have you accomplished that you're happy with?
I've lived by myself for almost 5 years now. I've made the Dean's List every year that I've attended uni full-time (which means that my average has consistently been above 80%). My academic work has been published twice. I took a course taught by one of my favourite authors (who currently is working with Netflix to adapt one of his books), and he ended up hiring me as a research assistant for several months. He gave me a 95% on my final paper for his class, and told me that he has never given a mark above 90% before. I also earned 100% on a research paper this year which I always thought was impossible. I was accepted into law school during the first round of admissions. All of my accomplishments mean a lot to me because I've struggled very much with my mental health and chronic pain. It hasn't been easy to succeed but I've managed to do so and I'm really proud of myself for that. I've battled disordered eating, addiction, anxiety, depression, and intense trauma to get to where I am today. I've grown much stronger and more resilient and mature as a result.
> Is there anything you love that you're starting to feel too old for?
I sometimes feel super lame playing Pokemon Go in public but I have friends that play who are older than me and who I think are cool, so I try not to care what other people might think.
> How does your life compare to what you pictured it would be by now when you were younger?
I recently found something I wrote when I was 18: a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish by the time I reached my mid-twenties. I've done pretty much all of them, such as figuring out what to do with my career, improving my mental health, studying something that I enjoy and am good at, living by myself comfortably, and making good friends.
Overall, I am quite content, but I do have some anxiety about the future. What if I've reached my peak and it's all downhill from here? What if I never love again? What if my last sexual encounter was the final encounter, and my rapist would be the last person to have been inside of me? What if my progress is an illusion, and I relapse and lose everything? What if I keep procrastinating on lolcow and fuck up the next several weeks and fail to graduate on time? With that said, I'd better get back to work…
No. 390410
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>How old are you? What things do you feel behind in? I'm 23, turning 24 in a couple of weeks
I feel kind of numb about it, but at the same time I do get feelings of panic when I think about turning 25 and getting closer to being 40.
I know it's a long way, but this year and last year went by so fast for me. I'm scared one day I'll wake up, in my 40s, still living at home and accomplishing nothing.
Kinda feels like I'm going nuts sometimes. I still live at home, and sometimes feel bad about it since both my siblings have moved out and it feels like I'm left behind. Both went/are going to very nice universities and I'm stuck at my shitty community college with an awful grade record. I should've graduated 2 years ago, but I dropped out of school for a year to work. I try to see the positives to living at home at least. I don't have to pay bills or anything, so once I get a job again I'll have a decent income for whatever I want.
Another thing is that I can't help but feel low key jealous of younger artists finding fame/large fanbases quickly with their pandering art. There are some out there that have amazing art, and I beat myself up for not drawing more often and letting my skills go to shit. I drew every single waking moment of my life back in high school and a couple years back. But now my motivation is spotty, it's fucking awful. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to get my shit together.
>What things have you accomplished that you're happy with? I have my driver's license, managed to get a job somewhere, getting a lot better at cooking/saving money/dressing myself/socializing, having a better time controlling my anxiety/eating/depression, Self esteem is improving, ditched shitty friends and learning how to drive in hellish situations/CA freeways.
>Is there anything you love that you're starting to feel too old for? Sometimes I feel like I'm getting too old for the kawaii aesthetic, but I don't think I could let it go completely. These days I try to keep a balance and tone it down.
I also sometimes feel weird about still being into cartoons but at the same time it's adults drawing/making these cartoons so it's not really that out there. A lot of the things I like have plenty of older/adult fans that participate so I'm not trapped in a sea of obnoxious under aged/teenagers.(plenty of man/woman babies tho) This goes for cosplay too, but with it being filled to the brim with costhots/clout chasers, it gets exhausting real quick. Once I do the costumes I've always wanted to do, I'm probably going to quit completely. Maybe cons too, but who knows.
>How does your life compare to what you pictured it would be by now when you were younger?I think younger me would be happy that I can drive and ditch my crappy friends for some great genuine ones. At the same time I'd be disappointed for not have already graduated,and work an awesome job so that I could indulge in my nerd hobbies and expensive fashion freely. Same with still being overweight, but now that I'm older I understand it better and I can properly lose weight more easily now.
I'm ok with where I'm at now, but things could definitely be better. I've started keeping a journal and filled it with things I want to improve on and I find it really helps.
>>390105You sound a lot like one of my friends, but I don't doubt there are multiple people out there going through the same thing. Be strong anon!
No. 390530
>How old are you?
I turn 30 this year and I'm feeling super fucking apprehensive about it. I feel like as soon as I jump that hurdle I'll lose all value. I know that's stupid and that 30 isn't "old" but I feel ancient for a lot of reasons.
>What things do you feel behind in?
Still not finished with school and I don't have a big girl job. I'm on a visa which makes both a bit complicated, so I'm trying not to beat myself up too much about it, but I still regret not being able to go to school in my early 20's like the most of my peers. But I didn't want to be in massive amounts of debt, and in my new country I can go to school cheap as free once I get my visa stuff sorted (which will take time).
>What things have you accomplished that you're happy with?
I have a car, a lease, a hefty padding of savings; I'm 10 thousand miles away from home making a home on a new continent, and I have a wonderful partner I wouldn't trade for anything. I've managed to overcome most of my mental health struggles with healthy coping mechanisms.
>Is there anything you love that you're starting to feel too old for?
Gaming and internet culture in general. I feel like I can't relate to most people online anymore because it always turns out they're teenagers. I remember when I was in my late teens thinking it was weird that people 30+ were spending time online. I joined an art discord awhile back with thousands of users and most of them were 14 and it felt like being on DA back in the mid-2000s so I quickly left, but I was pretty disappointed.
>How does your life compare to what you pictured it would be by now when you were younger?
TBH I was very depressed and suicidal when I was a teenager/early 20's so I never even pictured myself getting this far. But I'm certainly not what my idea of a 30 year old would be (owning a house, high powered career, etc). I also didn't expect to physically feel so much…worse? I don't feel BAD, but I definitely can't bounce back from a sleepless night or a day of eating junk like I could. In fact, I broke my ankle last year tripping off a fucking curb, when I'd NEVER broken a bone in my life despite doing very risky sports in my youth. Breaking one just tripping kind of hit home for me that it's all downhill from here and I have to be more careful with myself.
No. 390694
>>389956Didn't know it would make people mad kek, but yeah learning to drive in my country is expensive af. Btw I'm not blaming my parents, it's just that they live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and I had to move to a bigger city to get into an elective program and pay for my own tuition + rent + bills.
It's pretty rich to say "Oh just get your friend to teach you how to drive around a parking lot" tho. Most of my friends were in the exact same spot and got their first car very recently after graduating. Plus I wouldn't even dare to ask my broke-ass friends if they could trust me with their car cause if I fucked it up, there was no way in hell we would be able to deal with the repair. Again, maybe that works great in the countryside but we were living in a very busy city, there's no "empty parking lot".
Funny thing is that I did start to pay for lessons on my own, dropped about $3k on it, failed the driving test that about everybody fails once or twice, and ran out of money. And my written test then expired.
Since then I only lived in big cities where I never had to use a car tbh, but yeah it'd be cool if I could at least legally drive. Honestly I'm pretty confident in my driving too which is quite funny.
No. 390753
File: 1553523987850.jpg (12.55 KB, 354x306, 36682588_442272842851273_16815…)
How do you fight the anxiety of getting old? I'm turning 24 soon and I feel like time is slipping out of my hands.
I still haven't done so many things, I'm saving up money so that I can accomplish at least one of my goals (moving to another country) by the end of this year, but my checklist is still so, so long. After I settle there, I'll probably have to think of going back to uni and I still have no idea of what to do. I will also have to save up money to fix my teeth, since my family is very poor and we could never afford anything.
This last year has passed SO fast, I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic attack because it passed so fast I didn't even realize. I know I have to get out of this shithole before my life will really start, but I feel so far behind compared to other people my age. Granted, most of them didn't have the financial and family issues I've had, but still.
By the time I move out I'll be already almost 25. I've always wanted to get into acting, so that's on my checklist too and I should hurry up. It's a weird clusterfuck of desperately needing money, feeling time slipping out of my hands, living in the fear of not having enjoyed my youth, getting old before I will live in a decent situation… how do you fight those thoughts? I know it's partly my mother's fault, since she's the one who implanted those thoughts in my head by repeating often how I'm "getting old", how in "6 years I will be already 30, it feels like it was yesterday that I turned 20" and similar shit.
No. 390811
>>390722This, I'm 28 and feeling that kind of push but I don't believe that adults should have to be forced aged out of online culture.
All we can really do is try to pave the way for future oldies until it's the expected thing. I try to stay away from anything definitely aimed at kids like tiktok and to make my general age really obvious in profiles so that I'm not interacting with kids, but the pool of my peers still keeps shrinking.
I think it's important to be aware of how people a little older than you are trying to do their own thing though so that you can have realistic ideas. Articles where they talk to people of different ages help me think clearly, even if they're about something I'm not necessarily interested in or interviewing people that I wouldn't agree with
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en_uk/article/pg8xmn/nightlife-or-adulthood-growing-up-in-clublandhttps://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/19/women-and-desire-the-six-ages-of-sex No. 390813
I’m turning 27 next month and I feel like I’m not where I should be. My midtwenties have been spent in college and cutting my hours at work to part-time, which was a huge blow to my already mediocre income. I still live with my parents, still stuck in my first “real” job, and feel like a teenager stuck in an adult’s body.
I know a lot of people approaching 30 are stuck in the same rut. I’m just not sure if it makes me feel any better because it’s a miserable situation.
>>390722I think it seems strange because a decent chunk of women our age are active on sites like Facebook for mommy groups and the like. Childless or single women probably feel more out of place.
No. 390939
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>>390932>How old are you?21, but I don't expect to live past 85 so this is quarter.
>What things do you feel behind in?I struggle to connect with others into my twenties even after a customer service job, it's pathetic. I just fucking can't catch the conversational rhythm.
I'm a pathetic khv and still have weird fantasies about finding ~The One~ uwu.
I only started my degree last fall and I feel ashamed when any 18-year-old at uni asks my age. I feel fucking ancient (even if I'm not and no one can tell).
On top of that, I'm mediocre at everything. I like to draw but I'm not an artist. I've stopped enjoying any media ever and have little knowledge of culturally important pieces (film, literature, etc.). How can I be such a dumbass at 21? I just don't have the motivation to consume anymore. Maybe it's anhedonia, maybe I'm an idiot. Who knows!
Oddly not ashamed of living with my parents since I love them and think it should be less shamed in the west to live with them until full stability is reached.
>What things have you accomplished that you're happy with?I can draw cute boy pics that
I enjoy, at least.
And I saved up my tuition even if I feel like a fossil in school now.
Talking is hard but I'm a decent listener and chatterbox types like me (and I them).
>Is there anything you love that you're starting to feel too old for?Part of my lack of enjoyment probably stems from feeling too old for cartoons and anime.
Sometimes even drawing my shitty cartoons feels juvenile.
>How does your life compare to what you pictured it would be by now when you were younger?I pictured myself as pretty, with a boyfriend, a car, and in art school with gr8 social skills and a job in the art industry lined up.
But instead I'm weird looking, studying something I have little passion for, have poor social skills, and even my poorfag family lacks a car.
No. 390943
>>390939Oh fuck, didn't intend to reply to that other anon.
Guess I'm a dumbass after all. kms.
No. 390955
I'm turning 26 next month and getting kind of worried about it, I guess.
Like most of the anons in this thread I feel like I haven't accomplished as much as I'm societally expected to, but for me that's been compounded by struggling with undiagnosed autism for a lot of my life and not realising it. I got mediocre marks in high school and wound up dropping out of university because I couldn't cope, then falling prey to abusive boyfriends/manipulative friends because I didn't realise just how naive and exploitable I really was. I only started crawling out of the hole when I was 23 and getting a degree through TAFE (I guess this is community college for Americans?), but I feel like I squandered those perfect early 20's years on being mentally ill and getting fucked around. I lost all of my friends too because my weird sperginess got too much for them… it was only once I realised that yes, something was seriously wrong with me that I made efforts towards improving myself. Also, I'm definitely behind all of my peers. I went to a private school known for academia so most of my classmates are doctors or dentists now.
On the bright side, I'm in a much better place now. I've got a wonderful boyfriend and a job as a receptionist, I'm on great terms with my parents and I'm relatively healthy. I'm doing my best to shuck off the crushing societal expectation that I should be doing incredible career things and trying to just enjoy a quiet life. I've also tried extremely hard to front as neurotypical and now when I tell people I have ASD they tell me they never would have guessed, which means so much to me. I definitely have spergy, nerdshit interests I'll never grow out of, but a large part of my anxiety about those was feeling like I was going to hit 30 and everyone else would have moved on from anime/videogames/etc and left me alone. This thread has kind of proved otherwise, I think?
Honestly, my biggest insecurity is that I'm not really a good artist and in nerdshit circles it feels like if you're not already making masterpieces by age 24 you're way behind the game. I love art, but there's nothing more demoralising than seeing some 17 year old on twitter drawing professional grade art and getting hired by companies already while I struggle to figure out foreshortening. Not to mention there's definitely a cutoff age where posting less than good art becomes unacceptable- its fine to post garbage art when you're under 21, but if you're still bad at 30 you're going to get publically mocked.
I had unrealistic expectations for my life as a kid, but I don't really feel bad about disappointing her because she had no idea how the world really worked. Right now, I'm doing my best to be content with what I have. I think if I can learn to enjoy the little things and not stress about what society thinks I should be doing then I'll be alright when 30 rolls around. Oh, but I can say my childhood self never wanted kids and I still don't want them, so I guess I'm living up to one prediction at least…?
Oh, and I still can't drive, but that's probably because my mother was a shit driver who crashed her car several times with me inside as a kid so I have a massive fear of it.
No. 390982
>>390955For you to keep art as a hobby for this long means you have some level of talent. And not ever artist is skilled in every field. Bob Ross talked about he awfu he was a doing portraits and no amount of practice and tutoring could make him become a master at it.
Also as long as the general public (who won't be other artists) like you work then that's all that matters.
Bulid some confidence in yourself, anon
No. 391021
Im turning 27 in a couple of months so I think this applies to me.
I feel extremely behind. I spent my early twenties partying, meme'ing myself into the goth scene as a hard drinking party trad goth. It combined with a severely mentally ill older sister I kind of had to take care of destroyed my ability to go to school because when you don't have a safety net (mom died, dad is a selfish hippie boomer), if you're not some 3-job working normie then you can't support yourself on 8/hour and go to school. It was just a perfect storm of being in a bad scene for me, being responsible for someone else, and being incredibly poor.
I kept trying to make art my side gig, but it became apparent quickly that as much as I hated customer service, I hated being on the receiving end of a 'client' with my art worse. The constant revisions, the stupid expectations, the 'and one more thing', became too much. Not to mention the scammers online. I got lucky living in a big city to where I could work more in person. But it wore me down and made me realize I can't do art as a profession, which was my goal in high school, so I fucked my academic goals for a profession I ended up hating. Whoopee! Daria was right, making 17 year olds make lifelong impacting decisions is a bad idea.
About a year ago I got lucky and met someone through work that inspired me to look into law enforcement. I'd always loved true crime and loved reading detective books, so it wasn't too far of a leap to realize 'This is something I could do if I really put my mind to it, this is something I'd be proud to do, which is far better than where I'm at now'. My friends and boyfriend all encouraged me to look more into it, and start applying to low-barrier-to-entry jobs in law enforcement, and now I have a job in law enforcement while keeping in contact with a recruiter in the local police department, because sometimes they can waive things like credit hours if they really need people now.
Now I'm completely switching gears, changing lanes, and trying to pull myself out of a really deep, dark hole of failed 'dreams' that turned out to be nightmares, breaking bad habits, doing a complete personality overhaul. It's rough. I constantly wonder if I'm doing the right thing. But in my mind, I can't go back to the way I lived before. I have to tell myself I am worth more than what I thought I was for years, and it's not easy, and I'd never tell someone they can just do it if they 'believe in themselves', that's such a cop-out. You gotta surround yourself with people who will support you and reassure you 'youre not too old', 'you're intelligent', 'you can do this'.
No. 391273
>>390126Your post really touched me anon because goddamn, I fucking miss going to university and being praised for everything I write.
TBH I am really envious of you, even though it's retarded as I am aware everyone has their own path and I had my time as well. It's just that I am 27 and still in the middle of writing my first novel draft… a few years ago I was sure that by the time, I would be a published author. I don't have anyone to share my writing with and I long for the kind of cultural community that you can get at a university, where everyone is obsessed with some intellectual topic.
Goddamn it, I just want a community of fellow writer spergs like Tolkien's Inklings. I wish I was not socially retarded.
I am sorry about the terrible things that happened to you and wish you good luck.
You sound like a really cool person.
also I wish I had someone to play Pokemon Go with, sighSorry if my post is whining and pathetic, just needed to get it off my chest.
No. 391346
>>391110Nope, never heard of him.
>>391273I don't get praised for everything I write, to be fair. I produce a lot of mediocre, last-minute work too.
You don't sound whiny and pathetic! I admire the ability to write creatively. I don't have much of an imagination myself, so I think it's really cool that you're writing a novel. Thanks for the good luck! I wish you the same.
No. 391563
I was trying to remember a post from an old thread that was relevant to this one, but I couldn't find it. Instead, please enjoy this spergy list of previous age-related threads from the catalog, maybe we can learn something from the anons before us or even see how our own attitudes have changed since we posted in these. There were more but they mostly focused on how men perceived women aging, and men are boring.
>>>/ot/391065People achieving things at a later age
>>>/g/56436 Do people have warped ideas of how people in their 20s should look?
>>>/g/77069>feeling left out from online culture when aging>>>/ot/112121>How do you deal with getting older and not being bitter about it? No. 391603
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I'm definitely feeling this. I'm 24.
I'm not really sure of who I am or what I want to do in life. The careers I was interested in as a child aren't realistic or attainable for me. I took a course in something I wasn't particularly interested in and didn't do well and now I'm desperately searching for jobs in that field. I'm getting so much rejection while all of my classmates and friends have been hired. I'm proud of the fact that I speak a few languages but I'm not confident enough in my ability to do translation jobs or even consider it much of an achievement. I'm like a Jack of all trades but a master of none. I've always been interested in vintage clothing but I ballooned in college so I don't even dress the way I want to. I'm desperate to lose weight but at the same time I comfort eat a lot. I don't have any productive hobbies. I'm also dying to move out.
My greatest fear right now is becoming a NEET mostly because it seems so appealing.
No. 391718
>>391603In the exact same boat as you anon, just a year younger. The more time passes the more useless I feel. I help out my parents with bills/rent with the money I make from shitty part time jobs and freelance work, but I feel like I’m never going to find a stable job (that I like) and be financially independent enough to move out. Doesn’t help that I have an amalgam of mental illnesses that keep me in a catch 22. I’m just lucky I’m Chinese and my parents want me to stay with them as long as possible.
Don’t really have a solution or anything, just thought it might be comforting to know you’re not alone.
No. 393722
File: 1554095251527.jpg (35.06 KB, 720x460, 1404107136635.jpg)
I'm 20; not 21 for a while, but this year. I feel behind in generally every sense, from the way I look, how I eat, my emotional and intellectual capabilities, and my personality and hobbies in general. I've really put myself in a harsh situation by becoming a recluse from my depression and other varied mental conditions. Due to childhood trauma, I've perpetually become trapped in the foresight of a toddler. I have negative tunnel thinking and it's difficult to get through on my own. I need to try harder. I know what I'm doing to myself isn't good for me, but I keep giving in to bad habits because forming new ones is so daunting. Whenever I exercise, I feel burnt out, even when I'm not working very hard. I constantly want to purge what I eat, when I'm well below maintenance. I can't even meet maintenance, let alone my calorie goals for building muscle most days because I feel so bloated. The lack of nutrients is reflected in my feeling of lightheadedness when I lift. I've secluded myself socially from all of the people I could have potentially been close to, and have been a NEET since I graduated trade school, aside from a short-lived job. I'm making an effort to go outside every single day, to get up earlier, to shower and brush/floss, yet even so little makes me feel burnt out. I don't know how I'm going to maintain a real, demanding job. I'm just going to push ahead in spite; I just hope to god I don't burn out, as I often do. I genuinely think I'm on the autism spectrum, but a diagnosis is a long process; each step takes a killing in fees. I don't have the money. I want to save for Lasik. Additionally, I'd like to go back to college. I dropped early on because I knew I'd be too mentally overwhelmed, but I think I can manage now. I just feel behind because my old friends will finish their 4 year, and I have nothing to show for it, despite graduating high school a few months earlier than most of them.
I honestly never pictured anything for myself when I was younger; I thought I would have killed myself by now. I've been in the hospital for it before, but I guess I stubbornly cling to life. I know I want to change, and I'm going to. I guess I'm just impatient because I want to see the same results as my friends who are in clearly different positions than me in life. I think I'm just angry at the fact I know I'm below average and I have to struggle to understand basic things that come easier to almost everyone else. My friends went straight to college after high school and have the wherewithal to plow through 4 years, but I know I don't because all of school was literal hell. 4 years is mortifying to me, and I know it's going to take me longer than that to get my degree because I'm both mentally slow, and I'll have to work a near full time job to survive while doing it. I'm also juggling one of the shittiest home lives one could imagine. I just want a friend through all of this. God, I get so lonely and don't even know what all of this is for sometimes.
No. 393783
>>393722Hi anon. I'm in a similar position you can add me on discord #chubbyplatypus9933 if you'd like to talk
I'm
>>390168 No. 393784
>>391718>I feel like I’m never going to find a stable job (that I like) and be financially independent enough to move outYesss same. For me it's mostly that I've heard workplace horror stories from friends and I couldn't handle what they went through. My parents have this idea that I will live with them well into my 30s because a lot of people are doing it now due to no housing being available. They want me to be a baby forever.
I hope we both get really good jobs, anon <3
No. 393961
>>393766>half of those people are 90% likely to change their careers ten years from now1. Source.
2. Those people were in AP classes and told me since the day I met them it's what they wanted to do.
3. You dodged my point. So what if they change career paths? They're learning and figuring out what they want, and are able to do so because they're smart and not discouraged by college.
>you’re not on the autism spectrum because you don’t want to work full timeI have frequent sensory overloads. There's only 3 disorders I can think of that have that Autism, PTSD, and severe panic attacks from anxiety. I no longer meet the criteria for PTSD (I barely did in the first place) and generalized anxiety. I haven't had a panic attack in over two years. Going outside is still overstimulating and I have become aware of how much masking I do in public because of an autistic woman I met that explained what socializing for her is like, and it's eerily similar to me. I've had people even ask me if I've considered myself on the spectrum because I also have a monotone voice and take things literally.
No. 393974
>>393784Ugh I feel this so much. I'd love to move countries for my career but my mum wants me to live with my parents basically forever.
I'm lucky enough to have a job in my field but the money isn't amazing and I really need to get out of the house more often. My parents treating me like an 8 year old drives me insane.
No. 393979
>>390753Sorry for the double post, but I feel the exact same way. I feel like I'm stagnating still living at home and I know that I have to live independently for my life to really start. It's so frustrating sitting here and desperately trying to save, you feel like you've hit a roadblock.
>>390932I'm the same age as you anon and I also live with overbearing/helicopter parents. I have zero privacy - people still walk in on me in the shower.
Luckily I'm in therapy bc I'm recovering from a personality disorder and drug abuse, and my therapist tells me that I should stand up to my parents and make my own decisions, but it's so difficult when I know I'm going to get backlash for it.
No. 394360
>>393961I hope you can find a way to afford assessment, because if you do have autism it'll make a lot of things in your life clearer and give you access to some services that can help you, and if you don't, you'll likely be given an alternative explanation. The assessment also might not be as long a process as you think, I had to wait several months for mine but the sessions themselves were short and efficient, even though assessments in my country supposedly take a year or two.
If you're suffering so much, you really shouldn't put off seeking professional help unless you really, absolutely can't afford it. I put off getting my own diagnosis for a while and I regret it, because I could have gotten support earlier.
No. 400838
File: 1555857076865.jpg (1.14 MB, 3685x3024, bde3111.jpg)
When I was a teen,no told myself I'd end it all before I hit 30 years old I things we're still bad. I have myself a timeline to bypass the cliche response of "oh, this pain is only temporary" or "if you tried getting help things would be better" or whatever. Here I am getting close to 30 and my life feels like it's progressed since then but I definitely fight against the same emotional struggles.
I want to go back to college but I'm too anxious of the thought of getting overworked by doing it part time with my full time job. I feel like I'm not the right person for my job either.
I kinda wish I didn't have an SO right now because it would make suicide much easier. St least that's one thing I have that my teen self would be surprised about considering I always thought I'd be alone….and I was up until 2 years ago….what a pathetic age to have a first relationship.
I feel like at this point I've experienced all that I really have to experience from life. Like…where do I go from here? Nothing interests me, nothing motivates me, I'm just walking forward because I'm currently living but I don't really want to live and have no destination I'm walking to…
No goals, no aspirations, no dreams (that are obtainable realistically anyway), no motivations,and no excitement. I feel like by this point if I don't like life, why bother continuing? Like, if you sit through a quarter of a long book and still don't like it, why the fuck would you keep reading? By that point you've already read enough to get a good feel of what to expect from the rest of the book, and given it more than a fair chance to impress you, and if it hadn't by that point then I think most of us would put it down I guess the difference is that we always have other books to try to entice us, but imagine you didn't. You get to see everyone else with much more interesting books in their hands, and you're stuck with your crummy one. They want to read their stories to the end, because they're exciting and fun. You have no choice but to read your shitty book, and if you throw it out you'll never have another book again….but is it worth it putting up with the shitty book? I'd rather have no book at all. I should end this story soon. Before anyone asks - yup I've seeked professional help. That's what makes it more enticing to just end things. I feel like by this point, I have a right to say "I've tried everything I could and life still sucks. Sorry if you still want me here, but I don't want to be here and feel that's my decision to make."
No. 400843
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>>400838>>400838Also I made this huge rambling first thing in the morning while phone posting before I even put my contact lenses in. It probably showsfrom all my typos, but I think it's patbetic that the first thing I think every morning is "boy, is sure wish I didn't wake up today…." Why can't we donate our remaining life spans to people who actually wanna live?
No. 400844
>>400617I'm in the same situation.
You're not too old lol you're only 20, what's the rush for?
There are people in their 30s who start college, you certainly won't be the only one who's "older". And you're not gonna be too old for boyfriends either anon.
Come on, it's no big deal.
Don't compare your situation to that of others and DO YOU.
You got this.
No. 401693
How does one refrain from constantly envying a close friend?
How do you guys deal with that?
I just can't help but feel so bad for myself to the point of feeling sick when I see the contrast in our lives.
She's in med school in some European country, having the time of her life, meeting new people and everything while I'm stuck at home feeling like there's nothing for me to do in this word anymore.
I'm gonna waste all my youth away like that.
>>400838That anon's last paragraph put my thoughts so perfectly into words; i couldn't have expressed myself any better if I wanted to.