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Last thread >>365379
Tell us where it hurts, good anon
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Tried to make a nice meal for myself and of course I fucked it up like a retard. I nuked it with cheese and pepper to make it borderline tolerable cause I'm not wasting food but damn I wish I wasn't so utterly hopeless when it comes to basic tasks.
Spaghetti carbonara, which is embarrassing because it's not even that complicated of a dish. I fucked up by using too much egg, it was way too runny and saturated the pasta too much.>>374320
That sucks. I'd be pissed about it too, at least my dinner was salvageable even if it wasn't great but that's just a waste of food and time.
I agree with other anons about trying simple recipes that are hard to mess up like salads, soups, paninis, stir fry, pasta dishes (like lasagna) a lot of it can be made using pre bought things (like pre bought pasta sauces, using rotisserie chicken for soups, pastas, sandwiches, salads, etc) or things that can be baked like salmon (just marinating it, and shoving it into the oven.)
Sorry if it's obvious things that you already know, but I've noticed people tend to have an easier time if more of the laborious parts are already done or made, or if there aren't too many things that need to be done all at once.
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My sister has been ultra pissed over a fucking game all day. I normally understand when somebody gets a little frustrated while playing a game or smthn, but this is ridiculous, this bitch has been sperging for like 20 hours already and when i tell her to calm the fuck down she screams at me "Mind your business!!" and that's what i have been trying to do all along, i tried to hear some music and everything was going fine, but the second i put off the headphones all i can hear is her screeching. I don't understand why she plays a game that she hates so much and makes her pissed like that, it has been two weeks of this bs already. I just want some peace damn, i didn't ask for an "Alchemia Story gameplay gone WRONG".
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fucking canpar has it saying my package is in transit to be delivered all day and now its 9pm and no fucking delivery!!! FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEE
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I hate being deaf more than anything. I sound retarded when I talk, even after years of speech therapy. My voice doesn’t affect me as much now as it did in school, but I still feel embarrassed being an adult and not being able to fully express myself verbally the way I want because I know I can’t pronounce certain letters or words correctly. I despise being associated with the rabid ideologies of the deaf community, people have admitted they are afraid to talk to me in fear of saying something offensive simply because their only previous exposure to other deaf people are from news stories of them crying in protest over babies getting cochlear implants or other inane shit.
I love the new thread pic anon. Doctor doggo is in>>374347
Jesus wept, who does that?!
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i have a more pathetic, unsalvageable life (kind of ugly and a failure with a lot of health problems, but im ok with it) than a lot of you guys but i swear sometimes i want to just remove you guys from your shitty environments and all the assholes in your lives and adopt you guys and watch you guys thrive like snarky little smarty plants in need of a safe space to grow. no homo
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It makes me sad, when I look back to the "friends" I made on /r9k/ as a young girl, just how many of them were trying to groom me.
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Why can't the world just end tomorrow? Am I the only one here hoping for a plague or a giga meteorite to just kill us all?
It makes me sad that no matter how many radfem posts I read, how much I realize that gender is a bullshit meme, how much I accept that performing femininity like a trained pet gilding its cage is just holding us all back, I will always want to be pretty. Not to compete with other women or for guys to like me or whatever, but because it feels fucking good. Makeup, fashion and other "girly" aesthetic pursuits are enjoyable. Being complimented on my hair and eyes and face is just nice. Knowing something looks good on me is a great feeling. Being treated better by people because they think I'm "cute" feels safer.
My politics aren't matching up with my actions, and I'm worried I'll be stuck in that paradox forever. My only solace is that in the same way I don't want to look like a man, I don't like it when men are overly masculine-presenting, either. I think their stereotypical aesthetic ideals are grotesque, unappealing, unattractive and/or completely boring. IMO, feminine men look better than "masculine" men, and "tomboyish" women look better than men as a whole. So, maybe it is actually possible to enjoy performing femininity in a way that doesn't inherently make us out to be inferior to men? I don't know anymore.
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I have to scream
I don’t think partaking in feminine rituals is an issue in itself, especially if it makes your life easier by confirming (not sure what it’s like in other countries, where I’m from masculinity in women is seen as a good thing), it’s more so women that partake in said rituals and pretend that it is somehow empowering/liberating and is a feminist choice purely because a woman chose to do it
I have two children and want to get married, both things are used to historically and globally oppress women, but that doesn’t make me any less of a feminist. Not every aspect of a woman’s life has to be a political statement
Anon… wanting to be pretty and fashionable is not a sin, it was and still is a bit of a rich people's thing, because it needs time and money, so you're "privileged" for even affording to look nice. BUT, men have turned this notion into such monstrosity in the past century (in an attempt at fully turning women, human beings, into decoration+womb if I may add), where only women have to try to look presentable FOR men, while men don't give a shit about what women are attracted to and don't care about their looks because they'll still be awarded a wife (now that this isn't the case anymore you can see the anger rising from them).
Btw is the majority of women that like more "feminine" boys. You can see every generation of girls adoring celebrities like that rather than the rugged masculine ones (glam rock, biebs, one direction, kpop now…). It's okay to take care of yourself and want to look pretty anon, just place yourself in the current context when you do and realize that at the moment if you do it signifies, for men, that you want to be an object (but to be honest they'll do anyway) and you're not helping fight against the notion that women MUST doll up or either! But at least I'm glad you don't over-inflate the ego of ugly masculine men. Maybe we should just get men to appreciate and work on the beauty of their own bodies instead of aboloshing it altogether.
>Being treated better by people because they think I'm "cute" feels safer.
This is why the system of gender is so insidious. This is what oppression feels like.>>374491
Wear whatever you choose. Just don't refer to those choices as feminist.
>not radfem enough
This is exactly the type of discussion welcome in the rad fem thread >>>/ot/373459
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I recently started a really great job. Decent money and benefits or so I thought until HR gave me the insurance enrolment forms yesterday and even with the most basic/cheapest plan, I will have to pay close to 1/3rd of my pay check toward it (with the other 2/3rds going to rent/bills/food). I have no medical issues and go to the doc once a year for a check up/pap and I'm furious that I have to pay so much for something I don't really even use. It would be cheaper for me to just pay out of pocket but I'll still get fucked over on taxes for not having insurance. What I really need is dental, which my new job does not offer, just a meagre HSA than I can't use until June. All that money I had expected to save…gone.
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I really hate going out in public. I feel like I'm subjecting people to look at my ugly face and body. I know this isn't a healthy way to think about myself, but I always hated how I looked since I was a kid. I'm not really ugly or deformed or anything, I'm I guess average or slightly below average, but I just really hate how I look. I wish I could be pretty for once in my life. Really shallow wish, but it's true.
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I hate men who watch porn so much reeeee
I hate how they treat me, I hate being friends with them
I hate how my worth is chalked down to being fucking pretty or not that day when I make more money and am more talented than them,
God forbid I go makeup free a day or two, god forbid I'm bloated from eating bread
Fuck you Im not going to fuck you so fuck off with your fucking opinions
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I fucking hate being short. I’m already eating below my BMR but I’m still chubby! i hate this. unless I go through my entire life eating 1000 calories or less im fucked. i wish i was 5 inches taller. people who want to be short have no idea how good they have it.
No I'm not because I've dealt with this shit my whole life and it's just black men who rag on us for it. You just sound like you have a victim complex and hate other women.>>374664
I feel like you bitch about this every week but it has nothing to do with your height. Sounds like your metabolism is slow.
Don't eat under your bmr
Try to look at what exactly you're eating, how much and if it could be because of pms/hormones etc
If you can't lose weight for quote a while (and aren't trying to be underweight) you might want to see a doctor
Do you even know what projecting means? This is a rhetorical question, I'm convinced you don't.
You're the only one shitting up the thread with your weird denial of what other people have gone through. Piss off.
Now that's what I call textbook projection, kek. I hope your life gets better soon and you stop bitching out people for posting vents you can't relate to.
Getting back on topic: I'm sick of people shitting on cats for not being affectionate right off the bat.
i like pizza and wings, occasionally a soda. i eat once a day probably about 85% of the time. I love panera and Taco Bell too. im jealous of my friends who eat garbage 24/7, never work out, and stay slim. you’re all really lucky.
i used to be a teen who ate junk all day and never gained, then by the end of highschool and start if college I shot up past 140. then i got down to the 120s somehow, but i can’t get into the 110s. i hust want these last 15 pounds gone. i had such a qt slender body, i miss it
Stop eating pizza, taco bell, panera, and drinking soda. It's all cheese, bread, and fast food which will make you blow up. Replace all your beverages with lots of water or tea and eat smaller portions. Most of all STAY BUSY and distracted. If you're bored and lounging around, you'll have the urge to eat more.
Don't starve yourself by eating only 1 meal a day, for a lot of people, that doesn't work. Buy little snacks for yourself like yogurt or apple sauce to hold you over if you really need to eat something.
Then, all you can do is regulate how much of those things you eat. Go for half of all the stuff you like. From personal experience, it sucks at first, but you get used to it and do lose weight.
It really is all about calories, not really content of meals (though of course junk isn't healthy).
There's no point in acknowledging it, just report when it gets OTT.
It really does look like one person is sperging (as they probably do regularly), and desperate for "the last word!!!!", as I said earlier. The weird, immediate catty replies to your post are suspicious, too.
>>374710>No one was even mentioning you anymore
. You've already made multiple posts about this, and it's clear you're unwell. This is your last (You).
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This guy in my friend group recently introduced his girlfriend to us. Everything was fine, until I found out he is/was cheating on her with another girl in this exact same friend group. I don't know whether to tell the girlfriend or not, and it's hard acting normal around her.
It's making hanging out with them all really, really awkward. I don't know whether it's even my place to tell her, and part of me is worried she'll just lash out at me for trying to "sabotage their relationship" if she refuses to believe it. I wish the inevitable implosion when it gets out would just happen already. I just want my comfy movie nights back, for fuck's sake.
thiiiis. i'm 5'1 and being short sucks ass, your caloric allowance is painfully low unless you exercise a lot. i'm sick of hearing people talk about how it's "not even that hard" to lose weight when they're like 5'6+. it's not the same for you, go away. i never believed the metabolism meme until i saw it in action, and i'm not even fat.
honestly, that specific anon sounded salty and aggro all thread lol.
That's unfortunate, very few men prefer taller women so you really bad-lucked out there.
Sorry to hear about that.
If you're tall you get hungry much quicker/feel exhausted even if you haven't even eaten that little. We really do need the extra calories, so the level of hunger and discomfort while dieting is the same as for you short women. I might lose weight while eating 1500 calories at the same pace as you do when eating 1000 - but I will feel just as shitty.
Plus there are many other reasons that justify whishing to be shorter, dieting is not everything in life.
this is why i don't befriend men until i've vetted them. even then, they still disappoint me.
it's especially bad when you're better than them financially, they'll do anything to try and cut you down.>>374716
nta but no one even mentioned samefag, the rage posts were just quite obvious since they came out minutes between eachother on a slow-ass board
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the anons who eat food for dogs and cats disgust me, sorry. i've tried pet food too out of curiosity and i spat it out asap because it was fucking gross. i cant imagine actually voluntarily eating that shit
Just because your crush usually goes for tall girls doesn't mean he can't make an exception, though. My boyfriend was surprised by my height when we started dating and normally prefers shorter girls, but he finds me attractive anyway. If your crush likes other parts of your appearance and personality he won't mind your height.
Related to this, I'm insecure about the exact opposite. I'm somewhat tall and I've got a "mature" face. I just can't feel cute, even though that's what I admire in other girls. It's super unhealthy but I can't help but watch videos of Anzu and feel terrible about my ugly, angular face.
didn't she stop responding in >>374673
until it was suddenly brought up again after the op said to stop? it just looks like it was the other person salty about being told to quit to me.
99 is the weave anon still going on about it (pretending to be the other anon she was fighting with for some reason wtf bizarre). She was the only one who couldn't let it go. She seems deranged.
??? that really doesn't make sense. the weave thing didn't come up again until >>374701
who was mad about that previous anon said it was them, and there's nothing linking the anon who made >>374707
to the other posts you referred to.
meanwhile, the op who said to stop derailing somehow got three buttblasted replies about "not owning the thread".>>374772>It's super unhealthy but I can't help but watch videos of Anzu and feel terrible about my ugly, angular face.
not her but anon, have you tried looking at videos of supermodels with features like yours? there's more than one way to be beautiful/cute, i promise. not everyone has to look like anzu. considering the bulimia, even she's probably not happy with her appearance. everyone has their "thing"
i made him sound like an extremely superficial guy but he's great and i love him by all means, things have been going well so far. he never commented about anything related to my height to make me feel bad or anything, it's just that i've heard about him saying that taller girls are his type through mutual friends and i'm 9 inches shorter than him but his exes were closer to his height and it makes me insecure. i agree with your point though>>374772
i'm happy that your relationship worked out anon! taller and mature looking women rock and i wish i had these features, please don't think of yourself like that.
>>374771>i can't think of any reason to wish to be shorter, besides wanting guys to sometimes find you more attractive
The vast majority of guys don't find tall women attractive at all
, so most tall girls would wish to be shorter, simply because they're afraid of ending up alone.
Also, kids and adults of both genders are incredibly cruel if you're tall (and female).
So yes, there are plenty of reasons.
The only positive thing about being tall is that sometimes old ladies ask you to get them stuff from the top shelf and then will praise you for being nice. That's literally it.
Nta but what do the three anons talking to op have to do with the weave thing? That was something totally unrelated and >>374701
doesn't sound like the anon she was arguing with considering both anons originally fighting were black, i don't think they would refer to anyone as "black girl". She was told to stop many times..it could have been anyone.
no, it seems like her last replies were >>374679
>>374707 and >>374713
considering the time frame, content, and writing style.
>the op who said to stop derailing somehow got three buttblasted replies about "not owning the thread"
op was an autist for that and deserved the replies acknowledging it. this is a simple reoccurring thread, who the op is is completely irrelevant. it doesn't give that person any authority.
i dunno, it just looked clear that it was related because the thread was doing fine up til that point. you're right that it really could've been anyone, but the typing style and the fact that they randomly brought it up after it already ended looked off to me
is right that they said to stop infighting and derailing, they'd probably be more likely to agree with the op than suddenly go on attack mode all over again. >>374801
if the anon in >>374687
are the same, that means they most likely weren't pretending to be the other anon(?) in >>374705
but referring to their own former post.
it's more likely that the other anon assumed they were being vagued or something, and posted >>374696
and the rest of the angry posts at op for trying to regulate it, but i have no way of knowing.>op was an autist for that and deserved the replies acknowledging it. this is a simple reoccurring thread, who the op is is completely irrelevant. it doesn't give that person any authority.
saying "op here" isn't that uncommon in chan threads, and i don't think they were wrong to tell people to stop messing up the thread. it's a common problem
Ik this is stupid, I won't be talking about it anymore but I do want to know why >>374807
keeps mentioning it still.
i don't think mentioning being op means you think you have authority. regardless, the content of the post itself wasn't wrong. i've said to stop derailing tons of times.
i really don't see how they were pretending to be the other person in >>374699
, as>as i said earlier
is likely referring to >>374687
because they both mention "the last word". i'm not defending anything, i'm just calling it like i see it. i don't get why op got yelled at, since derailing is actually a real issue>>374811
i don't mean to infight, sorry, i'll stop talking about it
How would you know anon is >>374687
and why would you suspect that has anything to do with their discussion? Even if that is her, that still means she wasn't over it
which is pathetic because it stopped before then. The initial anon she was arguing with made fun of her for needing the last word which is much more relevant. She also seemed salty about it hence the !!! at the end of the quote.
i don't know, i was just going off what >>374801
said about time frame and writing style.
i'm not saying it wasn't pathetic, just that all the posts coming down on op were off and uncalled for. mentioning the weave thing again after nobody actually brought it up just makes it look like the anon was salty. it's like they were lashing out at op because they felt targeted even after it was over. from the looks of things, it seemed like they both weren't over it and were acting immature, ngl
it wasn't, though, it was pretty clearly the other person involved because they didn't want to be told to stop derailing after the fact. that's why they randomly started talking about the weave thing again when it had already ended.
i'm not for or against anyone. like i said, they're both immature. i just think it was really dumb of the other anon to start yelling at op simply for not wanting a bad thread and saying "op here".
It probably is
her. Notice how the other anon hasn't been present forever now but there's still someone here mildly trying to stick up for the original weave one.>>374840
Except it was weave anon? We already eatablished >>374699
is her. Why are you pretending that's the other anon? You really so sound like her. Let it go already.
i'm saying >>374701
and the others blasting op are the other anon because they randomly brought up the weave thing all over again, not >>374699
. but we still will never actually know in the end unless you're a janitor. it really could be anyone.
i'm not her, which is why i said they're both immature. to be honest, the way you keep implying only that anon was the problem, plus the fact that we also haven't seen the other anon all thread makes me wonder if you aren't them, but it's not like i have any way of knowing
brought it up first. The two posts after it sound like they're poking fun at her for bringing it up again. For the record, multiple anons have been responding to your posts right now and no I'm not the anon she was arguing with. The weave anon sounds like she doesn't have a life though with the way she kept talking about it (and implying everyone responding to her is the same person) so I wouldn't doubt you were her repeating the same thing
the weave wasn't mentioned in >>374699
, just the last word bit. it only came up after the op said to stop infighting and the person said to just report it. they were aggressive toward op and then to anyone who agreed that derailing was bad. it was just extremely odd. you can doubt or not doubt anything, i'm just commenting on what i read. saying "nta" at this point is kind of useless since we can't prove anything, i just think jumping on op and dogpiling them was too much>>374869
yeah….i'm really starting to think the black anon who was mad about the weave argument is still in here lol. if i'm right and you're reading this, you're both autists jfc.
it's not a reach for the reasons i stated before. screeching and being aggressive at op for saying "stop derailing" and then pretending "op here" is a cardinal sin of chan boards is something only a derailer covering their ass would do.
it doesn't matter in the end, so i'll stop like i said i would before
The only autist is you trying to defend your little spergout from hours ago. Your thought process is so fucked up you can't even defend yourself properly >>374869
is talking about you.
Get over yourself and stop passive aggressively defending yourself.
my boyfriend suffered from the same thing after a bad lsd trip. he also had mild hallucinations about shadow people. it helped him a lot to write and draw about the things he felt. if you don't already do that, maybe it can help you.>>374887>this much anger and ad hominem to defend one's own tinfoil>this lack of basic reading comprehension
glad what i said stuck with you. maybe you should reflect on it
That always use an ugly crying cat image along with the exact same vent?
It’s really not that hard being short. A few slices of bread less isn’t hurting anyone. Millions of short thin women manage it everyday. If you’re bothered enough to complain about it regularly, why not just fix it? >>374937
Can’t say for all of them but you’re for sure dating a retard.
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please end me
Thank you lovely anon. I expected to be torn apart for admitting all this - but I'd never do anything to hurt my family, or the other man I'm crazy about.
It's such a mess.
no offense, but do you really think this other guy would want to help raise another man's child? guys barely want to saddle themselves down with their own kids let alone one that's not even theirs. it doesn't matter how much you love each other, he might never love your baby, may even resent your kid for existing, and shouldn't you put your child first in all of this?
it could also go the totally opposite way. if you did split up your family and the guy, for whatever reason, embraced helping raise another man's kid, don't you think the lines could get blurred about who the father is if you have this guy around since your child is just a baby? let's say you divorce your husband for this guy and get shared custody of your baby. assuming the other guy sticks around, now your child has two father figures. will this guy know his place and know that he isn't meant to be a replacement dad? will the child even understand who its real father is? if your husband is such a great dad, it would be incredibly unfair to both him and your child to cause that kind of confusion or to take away from him the right to fully be a parent.
this whole situation sounds like it has the potential to be very messy. have you considered therapy? do you think you might have PPD? if you do, it could very well be exacerbating your unhappiness with your husband.
I agree with >>375132
. Stepdads only really work if the man himself is loving of children (not in a weird way) and
biodad is a piece of shit so he's cut out completely.
I can't even tell why anon dislikes her partner now. Sounds like it's just boredom, and if you're that kind of person (who gets easily bored with others) why commit to one person and tie yourself down? That seems extremely short-sighted. You must have know this about yourself.
Why the fuck did you have a child? Do you seriously think it's appropriate to just drag your child along with whatever bullshit you put it through because you want another dick?
What makes you so sure you won't just tire of this new man?
Jesus christ, this is why pregnancy needs to be an opt-in procedure.
I wish ever person at birth was temporarily sterilised.
nta but why are you so hostile?
The relationship with her husband went through some issues and she said she doesn't intend to do anything aka hop on a new dick. Holy shit, chill people.
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Last night I was at a party with girls I've known for a few years and we were all talking about how we first met and impressions.
Friend A said she thought I looked like a major bitch, friend B who I didn't know until a year and a half ago said I looked mean and I guess friend A had went to her and complained about things I've said. I guess she took some things I said the wrong way (because I've never been mean or rude on purpose and I even put her up in my apartment temporarily). I don't really begrudge that because my friends have said fucked shit to me unintentionally before but it's usually too petty or brief to make big deals out of it. Humans make mistakes.
Anyway I know what they're talking about. I have resting bitchface and intense eyes. I look like a bully, and even when I'm thinking of nothing it looks like I'm thinking about something. My narc mom nitpicks me and baits arguments because she insists I'm bothered by her and how dare I get annoyed when I answer for the umpteenth time that nothing's wrong–which ironically bothers the shit out of me at that point.
I have to make an active effort to lift my eyebrows, smile more, and initiate lighthearted conversations because otherwise people think I'm hard and intimidating. It's my presence, and if I'm not mindful people pass these crazy judgements.
Once when I was in a theatrical production in college, organizers made joke superlatives and the one I got was, to paraphrase, "Quietly plotting the deaths of those around her." Just because rehearsals were always early so I didn't talk much, and some days I probably did look grouchy because I had no purpose some days to be forced to be there.
I wish I was a "good" looking pretty person so I could benefit from that sweet halo effect. I look "evil" so people create narratives and treat me so, and if I do anything to confirm their bias or retaliate, in those moments I do become evil. What can one do?
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I'm in the same boat anon. All of my friends told me they were intimidated by me at first and though I was a bitch. Can't count the number of times men have said "smile honey" or people have asked me if I'm mad at them or someone has told me to lighten up. I think people also perceive me as being a bitch because I'm very honest and blunt.
Honestly I've just stopped caring because I feel like trying to look happy and excited all the time is being inauthentic and it's frankly exhausting. I feel like it's actually beneficial sometimes, like people won't try to fuck with you and they take you seriously, but yeah it makes it hard to make friends/meet people sometimes. Especially paired with the fact that I'm naturally introverted, slightly socially awkward, and tall lmao.
I feel like a similar aura that intimidated people, physically I take up little space but my personality is quite large and outspoken and I very naturally take charge of situations without meaning to.
I don’t have a problem with smiling or anything, I’d say I have a pretty friendly face neutrally, but without coming off as a narc I do believe I have an almost animalistic aura of leadership and charisma that makes people seem intimidated but also will follow what I say without any sort of pushback (again, I seem to take charge of situations without at all intending to, I just naturally fall into a leader role)
At least this is just what I’ve observed, I think people expect me to be meek from my size and baby face and come to be shocked when I open my mouth so they tend to fuck off
Realising now this is coming across as an ‘imverysmart’ post but it’s like 6am and I haven’t slept all night so these are word vomit rambles.
wow are you me?
I've been staring into space for about 10 minutes wondering these exact same thoughts.
I am so hyper aware and honestly try my hardest to please people but try hard not to come off as too fake but no friends stay around for long.
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I'm under so much stress and, while not all of it, part of it is because of a friend of mine, B.
B is going through a rough mental health period these past months. I have been extremly supportive, to the point where her mom keeps inviting me over and B is constantly expressing gratitude. Being supportive and a good listener is my forte, it comes naturally to me, it's not something I feel like I should be thanked for. I'm not always a good friend but loyalty and being supportive and helping in rough times is like… one of the only things that make me a not completely horrible person.
But I just can't do it anymore. B barely sees her therapist anymore and uses me as her shrink. It's tottally normal for me to listen to her problems BUT this is becoming too much. Every single day I have to compfort her + find ways to give her a new positive perspective on her struggles. She has BDD and, while we hang out during about 3h, she will ask me 10 times "does me skin look horrible? is it disgusting?" And when I reassure her she will insist "are you sure?" Every single day she texts me screenshots of the same guy subtly rejecting her and her never abondoning it and complaining to me about it. Every single day. I rarely talk about my own problems but if I ever mention my dad and the problems he's giving to me she'll then start a tirade about her own father.
I love her, I love hanging out with her, I enjoy her as a friend and truly don't want to loose her BUT I have my own share of problems with my own my mental health, my own college stress, my alcoholic sick father and codependant lowkey abusive mother.
And I don't see any way of communicating that with her without hurting her. Best case scenario, we stay friends but she's hurt and looses trust in me, worst case scenario she's not my friend anymore. She's a great and genuinly kind person but recently a girl she used to be friends with cut her off in a very cruel and cold way because B was too much to handle.
On top of that, I have a little bitterness over some art college grades. She's doing this whole project about her mental health struggles which is kind of… banal and that's already been done a 100 times and she got 17/20 while I got 15/20 (while my project is objectively better). I know the profs gave her that grade purely because of pitty and "omg she's so courageous to speak up". Because, last year, when a set of jury (made of famous artists and gallerists) were grading us, I got 17/20 and she got 12/20 and her work hasnt improved since.
I also struggle with mental health but my struggle is ugly. She's introverted, pretty when she softly cries, deppressed, BDD. I havd c-PTSD, ugly cry, and after years of drug abuse and sexual self harm, (ive been clean for 2 years), I just became a sort of hermit shut in.
People are free to be angry with me.
I'm not going to cheat on my husband. Couldn't have made that more clear. As for OMG WHY DID U HAVE A BABY, funnily enough we weren't having problems when I got pregnant, or for the first four months of our child being here. Things change, can you believe that?
And I already said I'm not going to do anything that would hurt my daughter. I had treatment for postpartum depression, I went and got help the second I felt something was wrong.
My husband is far from perfect. We weren't having problems until he made his friends a priority over me and my wellbeing, and it spiralled from there. I've singlehandedly kept this marriage going while he gave me the cold shoulder. I could have walked. Falling for this guy is nothing more than bad timing.
I grew up with parents who hated each other but stayed together regardless. They split up when I was a baby but got back together and honestly, I wish they'd stayed apart. Maybe let me live with my nan.
I'm not looking for support on this, I'm also not looking to anything except what's right by my family.
Where did she imply she hasn't
seen a vet, anon? Please highlight it.
She may have something terminal or incurable.
stop trying to sound like a martyr. Your husband was an asshole, why should you suffer for it?
You could make an agreement to officially be together for the child but discreetly see other people. As long as there's a semblance of a happy family™, the child won't notice until it's old enough.
You live only once, do you really want to be miserable? Do you really want to have this regret that you might have been happy and truly loved?
I actually laughed at myself for thinking this earlier. In an ideal world, that would be perfect. Husband and I get to remain as parents, still get to be there for each other and he could see someone else as well as me. I don't even hate the idea of him seeing another woman if it made him happy. Then I could be with the guy I'm nuts about, and he wouldn't have the pressure of stepping into a family role.
But. My husband wouldn't want that at all. And I don't think the other guy would either. It would probably get really messy. And how do you even start that conversation? "So hun, instead of me leaving you and ripping our family apart, why don't we stay together for our daughter and fuck around on the side?"
You know that's exactly what most people used to do instead of divorcing?
I would try it if you don't live in a really tiny town where your secret would be out in a few weeks
Then get divorced when it's time for kiddo to go to school, so you are less reliant on having a father figure and have more free time to sort your life out. Your husband is obviously trying, so you can keep a semblance afloat for a little while. Getting divorced with a toddler is a lot less stressful than with a baby…I assume
You should tell your husband how you feel. Explain that in his absence someone else has captured your attention. If you want to make things work you should give him the opportunity to fix things.
All the best though. In my experience situations like these are messy as hell, but in the end they are never as big a deal as we make them to be. Your child will be fine.
>>375380>Your child will be fine.
lol except for the part where her daughter lacks a stable home life and she's ripped from her bio father because her mother couldn't control her hormones. then she develops """daddy issues""" because mom's inevitably going to get bored of the new guy as is apparently her pattern with men and probably bounce from boyfriend to boyfriend.
our experience is the same insofar as we agree that these situations are messy - you just ignored the part where the child almost always experiences some kind of childhood trauma because their mom is a selfish skank.
Oh my god, get some therapy before you decide to try fucking other people. If you think that's a healthy alternative to amicable divorce you're wrong. Do you really want your kid to find out mommy and daddy just pretended to love each other for her sake and were getting dicked down by strangers their entire childhood?
Seriously, have you even tried couples counseling? If you're so deadset on making it work then you should actually take steps to making it work. I don't know why you want to be miserable while entertaining thoughts of fucking other men when you could just actually make some healthy choices in the relationship you're committed to.
Hey anon, you are going to get through this just fine.
I understand that you fell for another man, but it seems like you're trying to patch up the feelings your husband ignored. However there is no point in you staying with him, forcing yourself to bear through it - because I can almost guarantee you that he will either walk away himself or it'll fuck your child over. There's plenty of kids that grow up just fine with loving separated partners and you seem to be level-headed and dedicated to your baby to be able to provide this.
What you shouldn't do is split up with your husband for another man, but rather do it for yourself.>>375390
Fuck off scrote
yeah, what a scrote i must be for not unconditionally supporting a woman's right to fuck up her literal baby daughter's life because of fleeting hormones.
but it's fine, i'm not even going to bother arguing with anyone capable of empathizing with this horrible, selfish person.
>>375397>yeah, what a scrote i must be for not unconditionally supporting a woman's right to fuck up her literal baby daughter's life because of fleeting hormones.
if you're not a man, no, it's because you automatically blame the mother for the reason why a child could be messed up and assume a mother needs to go on some wild goose chase for men bc "hormones" when a mother can simply be single, as they often are? >>375400
children become hostages in those situations most of the time and in plenty of cases being outlets for resentment. it's a terrible idea. parents should separate but help each other to raise the child correctly. there's no reason why people need to be with each other romantically if it doesnt work.
the problem in this situation is the mom. when parents divorce for organic reasons like drifting apart, not wanting the same things from life, not being able to make things work after trying, etc. it's okay because these things happen and the parents are usually able to have an amicable co-parenting relationship afterward anyway. but in this case, anon claims her husband is a great dad who wants to make things work, but she doesn't want to because she'd rather wallow in her "misery" and pine for new dick. her primary points in her posts have all been centered around being sooo in love with this new guy and wanting him so badly. that's the kind of thing that causes trauma - mom divorcing dad just because she wanted to sleep with a new guy and then bringing that new guy into her infant daughter's life. what happens to the bio dad's relationship with his daughter? according to anon he's a great dad who cares a lot about their baby, so it's not like he's just going to let go of his child. with mom introducing new guy(s) to her baby's life when she's not even a year old, that poor kid is going to be so confused about who her dad is. divorce doesn't always equal trauma, but with a mom like this who wants to divorce for the reasons she wants to divorce, you can be pretty sure it's going to result in trauma for her daughter.>>375403
no, i'm not a guy, sorry to disappoint. i didn't say anon was going to go on a wild goose chase for men… she said it herself, anon. her whole posts have been about her wanting this new man sooo badly. i wouldn't have said shit if she'd posted about wanting to divorce her husband just because she wants to be single (hell, that's exactly how i was raised myself and i adore my mom), but she didn't post that - she made a post about wishing she could divorce her husband and uproot her infant's life simply because there's a new dude she wants to bang. sorry, but she's very much being ruled by her hormones in this case. factor in that her kid isn't even a year old yet and she was treated for PPD, and it's safe to assume that her hormones are literally all over the place and play a pretty significant role in the decisions she's making right now. i'm not going to apologize for thinking it's wrong to risk your kid's development on a hormonal whim.
oh, ok. Sorry, I posted that angry post it's just that I encountered a few pet related posts on social media where people instead of taking the pet to the vet went sympathy hunting and saying goodbyes.
I'm really sorry about your cat and the fact that you need to go through that. I can't imagine the pain.
No one on this site will give you decent advice.
Talk to a therapist, or talk to your husband and then talk to a marriage counselor.
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this was in my recommended feed today.
i don't understand how any woman can defend dic mcnognog, sad.
it's definitely not normal to think that imagining having sex with celebs is "rapey" unless you're actually imagining raping them
but it's not something i would worry very much about either
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are crushes supposed to be fun? is it because I'm gay? how am I supposed to make friends if I develop a crush on every girl with similar interests? it doesn't help that I'm still in the closet and she's gay too.
Okay. Apply the breaks. Take a deep breath.
You guys were fine. You got pregnant and had a child. Husband started to prioritize his friends over you. You sought therapy for PPD while trying to maintain the marriage single-handedly. Husband at some point realized he was Douche McFuck and the marriage was at risk, so he turned on overdrive to attempt to try to fix it, but by this point you had already developed feelings for someone else. Now you don't know what to do.
Do you love your husband? Is it possible that you harbor some resentment for him due to his emotional (and possibly physical?) neglect of the marriage and the relationship between the two of you?
People fall out of love. It's a thing that happens. It sucks, but can be a natural change due to the progression of relationships. You can't force yourself to fall in love with someone.
Resentment is not easy to fix. It digs a hole where love is and it plants itself, rooting deep. You can try to weed it out, but it doesn't always work. Resentment that results from the neglect of a relationship is IMHO nearly impossible to get over.
You need to have a long, hard discussion with yourself about how you feel about your husband and marriage. Don't think about the new guy, don't think about him in any context. He is irrelevant. What matters is you, your husband, and your child.
I would suggest attending couple's counseling. The issue with that is that both people need to be committed to repairing the relationship, so if neither of you are fully committed, it won't work. It is absolutely possible to rekindle the fire, especially if both of you want it and the drive is there.
On the flip….
There is 100% nothing wrong with leaving the marriage amicably. This leaves the door open for outstanding co-parenting that results in a happy child who has happy parents. This requires a realization from both parents that the relationship can no longer be maintained for any number of reasons.
The opposite is holding on to the marriage for the sake of the child, when you and/or your partner are no longer invested in each other or in maintaining the relationship. This builds resentment and anger, and leads to an angry household. This also usually leads to angry divorces and difficult co-parenting.
Under no circumstances should you factor in this new guy when it comes to what is best for your family. I'm going to say it again: The new guy is irrelevant. When you are sitting down and thinking about what you want out of your marriage, what road you think is best to take, etc., you do not once think about him. He is irrelevant. Pretend he does not exist. You need to be able to combat this problem objectively, and you can't if you drag him into it. So don't.
Medicaid is amazing compared to the alternative tbh
You won't regret being on that
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Is it possible to lose weight while still drinking? I’ve been working out daily and calorie counting but I still love to have a nightly vodka soda or two. I’m 160 and 5’1” anons bully me or something I want to lose 40 lbs
She sounds a lot like me. I'm sorry you're feeling this guilt. I think the best thing your can do is just to be there for her. Keep doing what you're doing. Go and visit her or invite her to visit you if that's possible. Are either of you into gaming? That's something you can do together and could be an outlet for her. It isn't a perfect hobby but it's better than nothing. TF2 is free and it's old, so it runs on most computers.
Do you think she could have avoidant personality disorder? That's my issue and over time all my relationships outside my immediate family have withered away. If it sounds like her, don't let her ghost you. That's what I did and I don't know how to undo it. I think all my old friends just think I stopped liking them.
You seem like a great friend, she's lucky to have you. I think trying to connect over games is a great idea, but if she's not receptive to trying it out, maybe you could try encouraging her to do something artistic? Drawing, painting, maybe even something like knitting or crocheting? It's relaxing and could be a good outlet for any pent up emotions she may have. Plus the outcome is satisfying and wholesome, she could use the art she makes to decorate her space and make it feel more like a home than a prison of depression (at least that's how I can feel about my living space sometimes, speaking as a depressed shut-in myself). And with knitting/sewing/crocheting the end result is something actually functional and practical, so it could help her to feel more productive.
It's also something you could kind of do together, even if you're not physically with each other, you can skype/facetime with her and you can both paint or knit or whatever together. I know with my depression, it's hard to find the motivation to even do something as simple as just doodling, so her having you alongside her (even on a computer screen) doing the same thing could be a motivator, and you guys can goof around and have fun with it, like each of you trying to follow the same Bob Ross video or something like that.
Hello social anxiety my old friend…
My rational brain tells me you should just grin and bear it, but I get you anon. I also do retarded overthinking like this.
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Everything in this world is so fucked up and I try to focus on the good parts but man life is so fucking depressing for some of us I try to delude myself into thinking there's an escape, into thinking I will be fulfilled at some point but I know the only escape is death. I don't wanna fight anymore and I don't wanna see other people fight either. I just wanna crawl into a ball and see this stupid life pass before my eyes so I can just finally be free. No matter how much I want to believe that one day I will be happy and I will find my way in life, I can't because this feeling of frustration is eating me from inside out.
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ontd is the most annoying sjw website on the planet lol. they believe that jussie shit and they think white celebrities posing with weed is white privilege.
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tl;dr my mom narc raged at me and argued in a circle with me for two hours because I just asked her to copy and paste a job listing to send to me
Background: I've been living at home for a couple of months since I left my ex of four years, and quit my call center job that was making me sick and was too far of a commute away from here to keep. I've been pining for an actual career because I have two degrees. I was hoping that when my parents were being supportive when they offered me to move here, that they knew I wasn't going to be picking up Mcdonalds just for a job. Because if so, then, why'd I bother leaving my shitbag ex and quitting a miserable job just to lose my independence anyway and hop right into another shitty job with even less pay?
They live out in the middle of nowhere so it's difficult. I apply to several jobs a week but what I want to hunt for comes very limitedly, and I've straight up received email rejections and have been ghosted by recruiters.
The main federal job I'd been after since June was halted because the president shut down the government, there's no HR to call to check on my status. I've been in a miserable limbo and all my savings are gone because I still have bills to pay.
My mom resents me, she's a narcissist so she sees my being back here as a failure of my character. How dare I be unemployed because don't I know that reflects poorly on her as a parent? She's constantly on my ass, but I knew this would happen by moving back home–I just really didn't have a choice. My stepdad wasn't going to let me be homeless so he insisted I come here to stay.
My mom hates other women (my dad agrees), because my grandmother raised her with the same spite towards her yet leniency towards her brothers. Misogynists. My mom married abusive men and took on shitty jobs because my grandma resented her whenever she needed to live at home. So mom did whatever it took to avoid going back. It's because of that dynamic that she married my bio dad (who cheated, beat her, and threatened her life); after I was born, she divorced him and moved back home temporarily. My grandmother was an unreasonable bitch to my mom while she was vulnerable, single, and had me as a baby. Everyday grandma harassed her about finding work, or complained about having to watch me, until she found employment and moved out. Meanwhile my mom's brother, a state prison employee who had all the means to live on his own, lived with my grandparents until he was 50. They were completely okay with it! My male cousin was a miscreant who got into trouble with the law and crashed many cars, but each time my grandparents would front lawyers, new cars, and grease his palms whenever he asked for money. Men got preferential treatment in my mom's family, while women were servants and scapegoats to men.
This is how my mom treats me. My stepdad agrees that this is what is happening.
So today I was sitting on the couch watching the Ted Bundy series on Netflix while browsing my phone. It was about 11am.
My first sin was telling my mom that I didn't feel like going for a walk with her today. I just wanted to relax, and yes, be a bum.
She was going to crucify me because I wasn't making myself look busy. Because if I'm not making it my job to hunt for jobs for 8 hours straight, I need to be doing chores, or cooking, or cleaning. I'm female, it's only right to prove my gratitude.
I know when my mom's looking for an argument. Her body language gets stalky; like a predator circling its prey trying to find a weakness in its defenses. She has all day to pick a fight, she's a retired pensioner who lives in this ivory subdevelopment tower; and I have all day to be the target because I'm unemployed and don't leave because I can't afford the gas in my car. My stepdad leaves for work at 5am, so she has all day until 4pm to start shit when no one's around to witness what she'll do and say to me.
First, the bait. Because all this is really about is how I'm a useless fuck of a woman, but she can't say that outright so she's gotta begin with seemingly good intentions so she can lead into her tirade. I know her score and I've been victim to her shit as a teenager when I couldn't flee then.
>"Anon have you applied for jobs recently?"
>"Are you sure? You must be doing something wrong, I don't see how you could be hearing nothing back."
Explanation about the recruiters, how many companies don't have HR to contact, how I've been rejected, etc.
>"I still don't understand. Have you been reaching out?"
Yes, when I can do so and there's a number and email listed.
>"Then tell me what you've applied for recently. You're doing something wrong."
With more annoyance in my tone (because I know she's building up), I explained. She was putting me on the spot too.
So she came back into the room with her clunky laptop with some kind of state assistant listing.
>"Apply to this anon, right now."
I didn't decline, but I told her how if she would send me the link I would apply to it later because I wanted to watch my show.
Tbh it's neither here nor there about applying right then or at 6pm, a state application isn't gonna get feedback sameday. Again, it wasn't about jobs, it was about her need to make me dance like a puppet. I wanted to watch my show, and that irritated the piss out of her because it wasn't busywork.
>"NO, you apply RIGHT NOW on my laptop. I want to see you do it."
My resume and docs aren't even on her laptop, and no, I was watching my show. If she would copy and paste the link and send it to me I would gladly do it later when I'm finished.
She laid into me and went into rage. She said that I'm making excuses, and said that I love being lazy and unemployed. She Pixyteri'd me and even went into a rant about how I never bathe and groom (lol, untrue, just the other day she told me I was 'overdressed' for dinner), among other horrible lies and criticisms. I wish I could say I remember everything she says, but when someone starts to yell at me and stress me out, I mentally retreat to spare my mind from verbal abuse. She says the most ridiculous and irrational shit to me until I give her a response, and from there she's like a shark that's tasted blood and the frenzy doesn't stop.
She argued in so many circles and berated me so badly, that I reminded her that this all started because I had asked her to just copy and paste the job link to send to me, not that I said I wouldn't apply for it.
>"WELL YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT SO WHAT YOU SHOULDA DONE IS WALKED YOUR ASS TO THAT TABLE TO SHOW ME. THIS IS ON YOU."
I tried to say through tears coming down my face, that even if I hadn't shown her countless times before on how to copy and paste, her behavior to me was still unacceptable. I was only getting defensive because she was attacking me. She DARVO'd.
>"DON'T YOU PSYCHOANALYZE ME!!!!!"
I didn't, but it happens whenever anyone tries to bring the argument back to the original points. She thinks people pointing at her behaviors is psychoanalytical tripe.
At this point she's completely unhinged. I'm crying and trying to ignore her, but she just went too far. I was texting my stepdad about what she was saying. But she's notorious for her famous several-hour-long arguments. She'll run an argument straight into hell, 10x worse than any infight I've ever seen on lolcow.
When I try to avoid saying anything back, she starts to bait me again. She said mockingly,
>"And don't you make this about how you're so sad, wahhhhh, wahhhh, WAHHHH. And bring up your anxiety. Because you know what? Everyone has anxiety. not just YOU."
She's referring to the anxiety attacks I used to get when I worked at the call center, or when my ex wouldn't help me around the apartment. I've never used my anxiety as an excuse to justify my unemployment, and even my stepdad said I've never done that. She was being hateful.
She wouldn't leave me alone. I yelled back at her about how it was a mistake to have moved back here, I just didn't have a choice. I wanted her to stop being so mean and to leave me alone.
I asked her to "Please stop."
>"Leave you alone? Oh, well if you want to be alone and leave here so badly your car is right outside. YOU leave. It's my house and I'll do whatever the fuck I want and say whatever I want."
My stepdad wanted me to call him as all this is happening, but I told him I couldn't because she'd bite my head off even worse. (The last time I did this was when I was a teenager; I went to the bathroom to call him and she busted down the door because she knew I was contacting someone). He told me to get away and go to the local park until he got out of work so he could meet me there and talk. And so I wouldn't have to be alone with her.
She wasn't done with me yet, there was no break for me to leave.
It would be two minutes of silence, and then her coming back to yell or bait me some more.
>"I'm sorry for what I said to you, BUT someone had to tell you the truth and I just have no sympathy for you."
She can't even fucking sincerely apologize, she's that much of a narc. I turned my head away and ignored her again.
>"Um hellooooo? Are you listening to me???"
I tried not to say anything back.
>"You know what it is anon, I think you're depressed. You know I'm just trying to help you! If I don't light a fire under your ass then you won't!"
I told her she was a bitch, to fuck herself-and congratulations-because she'd won and got my ass to move off the couch. I started to walk out the door.
>"WELL I GUESS I CAN'T SAY SHIT TO YOU ANON, I'M A PRISONER IN MY OWN HOUSE! You know what you are? Immature! Someday you'll regret what you've said to me, and then you'll wish you had me around!!"
I left and waited at the park for my stepdad for four hours. I cried uncontrollably in my car. I wanted to binge eat at a fast food place so badly, but I resisted.
My stepdad met up with me and he talked with and agreed that my mom can't be reasoned with. It's who she is, but that I won't be leaving because it's his house too so he gets a say. So we decided to come up with a plan to 'call back' some of the employers to make it look like I was busy tomorrow, even though it's not gonna do shit and will probably get me blacklisted. It's all a dog and pony show to appease my mom. I give my stepdad kudos because at least he talks to me like a human and offers tangible things to work on, whereas my mom thinks yelling and screaming and stamping her foot gets results. What grates me after all this: Is when I have success, she congratulates herself and acts like my accomplishments are all thanks to her 'support.'
On our way home, I entered the door before my dad.
My mom looked pleased with herself, you'd think nothing had happened. She saw my dad next.
She doesn't know that I let my stepdad know what she did and said to me.
So she's pretending that nothing had happened, didn't mention the big blowout she had. Usually I don't tell anyone the abuses either, so she gets away with a lot all the time. Like a proper calculating narcissist, she compartmentalizes the argument and pretends that our relationship is normal when other people are around. And my stepdad won't bring up how he knows, because it's too much of a hassle and she'll just go off on him too. She gets to have her cake and eat it too.
I can't wait until I move out again. I hate this place. And if not for the unconditional love of my stepdad I probably would have necked myself long ago.
She wonders why, and blames me, as to why we don't have a mother daughter relationship as seen on TLC. I'm so disgusted with her, and I don't think I can ever forgive her. She's too far gone, and now that she's in her 60s she gets more neurotic by the year. It won't ever get better, and the only time I can have a semblance of a civil relationship with her is when I live on my own. When I can see her on my own terms, which is usually once a month, tops, and when my stepdad is present. I wish I could have been born a man, or not at all.
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>Friends with ex's friend
>She tells me how she hated me before because I took time away from him from his pal of friends (which isn't true)
>First time she saw me I was sleeping with him and her and her then bf came to surprise him
>Bf was grumpy and pissy due to no sleep and unannounced surprise and kicks them out
>They are pissed about it and my presence ofc
>Have a name shared with cheese
>She tells me they wanted to buy said Cheese, put a knife in it and leave it at his bedroom door
I really love her and her presence, we talk often and is super supportive and I adore her, she apologised countless of times for it and stuff, yet I still kind of get paranoid that she's just my friend to spite me or something
Red flags tbh, I wouldn't trust this weird bitch. She sounds like she has major issues so cut her off already.
Also is the cheese colby? Lel
I think so. Call centers are barbaric and primitive places. It's obvious in how most companies outsource them to unstable countries where they can abuse and underpay their employees because it's slightly better than slave tier factory labor.
I had to be medicated as did many others.
I'd never go back.
"Experience" isn't that valuable. Its possible the women he was past with actually liked this. Every person you're with is different enough you need to take time learning how they like it. I wouldn't give up on him if you otherwise like him, you guys might just need some practice and guidance.
Was in a similar position with current guy and it has gotten a lot better.
The cheess is Brie>>376145>>376140
He kind of warned me about her before, but tbh I really was shitty before, was depressed, lost all my friends, etc etc.
I think I'll just keep a distance.
Also, no one wants to fuck my ex, trust me when I say he's gross in more ways than one.
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I've always loved putting together fantasy outfits (with both bought and self-made parts) but I suck at it. I absolutely suck!
I spend so much time thinking of the "perfect" combination but when I look at the pictures afterwards, it always looks frumpy to me. In fact, for all the time I've spend on this, I've never once looked good.
Even after losing lots of weight and taking better care of myself, I still look shitty. It's not even that I'm extremely ugly (after losing the weight), it's time to face that I just suck at outfits and give up…
Even at regular clothes, I always try to look nice like those girls on instagram but I've been trying for years and I still just look like a boring nerd.
I guess my mom is right, I'm not creative at all.
Pic related, example of what I'll never look like
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Can't be bothered to type out why I'm stressed but fuck I'm stressed
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I feel like I'm years and years behind all my peers in development. I'm almost 22 yet I feel like an ugly overgrown child. ftr I'm not a neet, I study and I have a job, just haven't had a social life past the age of 13/4. My only friend my age is my roommate and 8 times out of 10 I think she hates me (fair enough, I have a heavy personality and the loneliness isn't helping it), she's moving out this summer anyway. I have some friends from home I text with still but it isn't same when you only meet in person once every few years if that. Have never dated anyone, haven't had a crush on anyone in last 7-8 years either. I think I could have social anxiety based on the fact that being around people makes me extremely nervous and I have developed numerous ridiculous rules and coping strategies to cope but it also could be just the weight of numerous failures to make friends and self hatred. Not that pondering on that is remotely useful as I wouldn't go to doctors to get diagnosed or anything, can't really go anywhere but the established grocery stores, work and campus buildings.
it's real sad sack hours rn, got triggered watching some shitty video of people my age looking handsome and having fun.
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Maybe you could try looking at some folk costumes from around the world to get some baseline and improvise from that?
Pic related is from Lithuania.
Anyway I'd like to see some of your costumes if you're ok with sharing pictures!
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I'm tired of my coworkers. They just won't stop having the same conversations during lunch break, they just talk about their ids and how much of a nuisance they are, but oh no, it's not like THAT, they love their kids sooo much! Or they talk about their husbands/boyfriends nonstop and make the same tired jokes about "lol I'm a wine mom, I watch porn too I'm so funny!" Since one of the managers is pregnant and is on maternity leave now, the subject of pregnancy is often brought up, and to the point of having lunch in a restaurant together and one of my coworkers was bragging about how a friend of hers sharted all over nurses and midwives while delivering her baby and how bad it smelled in the room, or how eating your own placenta is good for your health. And everyone was laughing and found it hilarious. While we were eating. It's like they were all raised in a barn, but for example when I talk about things I've seen while working retail, things that are way less inappropriate my coworkers act like I always say shocking and inappropriate things and they look at me like I have two heads. One of them is very annoying and she seems to think I'm stupid as fuck for things like my computer glitching out of nowhere for reasons out of my control, or some dude working with me half-assing his job and her expecting me to do his job instead, which I'm not even allowed.
There's only that and nothing else, too. It's like they don't do anything interesting or fun outside of work, and they're close-minded. I don't know if they act like this because I'm "just" an intern, because I'm the youngest, and not by far at all, because I'm the only one who isn't white, etc. No idea but they're weird and often inappropriate and I feel like an outsider. I was wondering if I was being paranoid but some previous interns said the similar things to me before leaving the company. I'm leaving i a month anyway but still, it's bothering me.
Same, anon. I can't even look into a mirror anymore. I avoid all reflection of myself, whether it's windows or anything else. Seeing how I look always shocks me.
I wish I could have fun going shopping like any normal young women, but I can't even try any stuff on anymore.
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I like to be working again, but I don't know how I feel about my new job. They don't have a set working hours for the employees (although I do have a right time to be there - just not to leave), and I always feel pressured to work at least 8 hours, although I am only an intern (in my country, interns work for 6 hours). Not only that, I barely have time to have my lunch, usually I eat in like 10~20 minutes and get back to work (again, the law around here states that employees should have an hour of lunch time), which sucks.
Also, I live kinda far from my job, and I am always tired when I get back home, I am just so tired. I am only awake right now cause I gotta do an unrelated work for the japanese province association that I am part of.
My coworkers are pretty nice and chill (although the ceo is a bit grumpy and it gets really umcorfotable at times), but I am already thinking of leaving. The cons outweighs the pros, and the pay is not really good.
I really wish this had worked better, honestly. (But tbh, I think I won't be able to find another job for at least 8 months, so alas)
>>376570>tfw flat so I can't do that
I hope you find someone aside from your tiddy to cuddle, anon.
same fag but i also have some scrot on twitter that won't leave me alone and keeps trying to push this diet on to me
it's such a small thing but it's the cherry on top of this shit week, i just feel a little overwhelmed right now
I think that people focus too much on things like appearance and clothing when it comes to this issue. That's not the only way women are pressured to perform femininity. Feminism should focus more on encouraging women to develop strong character traits like assertiveness, self-confidence, bravery, and so on. In most cases, high self-esteem will eliminate the urge that women have to shave off all their body hair, plaster their face with makeup everyday purely out of insecurity, wear high heels that fuck up their knees and spine, develop eating disorders, mutilate their bodies etc.
Like yeah it's fucked up but not all things categorized as "feminine" are equally injurious to women's health and self-image.
I dress pretty butch myself most of the time but I can appreciate fashion and cute clothes. Women are human, we have the capacity to enjoy nice looking things. Honestly it's pretty silly to only consider the superficial aspects of femininity when it goes much deeper than that. It's like feeling "unfeminist" for thinking a sunset is beautiful.
sure wish i was normie
or maybe just born a man
Me too, somewhat. I think I have anatomy that would work well with hookups (can orgasm easily) but emotionally I'd want to kys myself because I get attached to people. But in current year, nobody under 25 wants monogamy so I'm doomed to be alone until I reach that age and have to date some guy who has had 50 ONS's or something.
Nothing is ever good, anon.
I have the feeling that the majority of women who sleep around aren't orgasming most of the time.
Also, yes. It is normal to not be into hooking up because you don't get anything out of it.
i'm an autist and don't think i can really form romantic connections with anyone but i sure wish i could relieve my pent-up sexual frustration as easy as thrusting in and out for 3 minutes and not giving a shit about if my hookup partner orgasms because it's not expected of me>>376704
why sleep around if you get no pleasure from it?
I've just grown to accept that lolcow is in general an awful place to rationally
discuss feminism. You're better off going to Twitter or something.
I hadn't thought about my ex for 4 years but suddenly I keep finding myself talking about him and fantasizing about it and I give it about a week until I get accidentally call my SO by his name>>376866
Well done anon!
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I am so fed up with people glamorizing and/or trivializing depression and mental health issues. The girl in the pic posted this on insta (without her face obscured, obviously) and she captioned it "a good and warm cry". When I cry, I would describe it as sad and cold rather than good and warm. When I cry, it doesn't occur to me to post a highly staged photo on social media for the ~aesthetic~. When I cry, I'm not looking for attention from other people online; I'm fucking struggling for my life and it hurts even more to see people taking this shit lightly. When I cry, I do it alone without my bestie hovering over me with a camera phone. Why? Because my best friend died in her early 20s after a long struggle with addiction and mental health issues. And this bitch is over here making depression seem like something relatable and cute and quirky. For fuck's sake. I'm so tempted to actually comment on it and interrupt the stream of comments droning on about what an adorable baby bunny she is.
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What is it about happy people/boomers that makes there humor so un-bearable? i'm sorry jess but minions movie quotes in impact font isn't top tier
Boomers were able to be happy because college costed almost nothing for them (and you could get a good job without it), minimum wage was liveable for them, and they could be as racist and shitty as they wanted. Their lives were fucking cakewalks, and they thanked society for it by fucking up the economy and putting morons in power.
We actually have to work for things now, so yeah, maybe we're not as focused on making jokes.
Also, most the people who post minions memes are baby-boomer-age moms.
I don't get why infighting is so problematic
outside of snow and pt, just let people have their circular arguments if they want to jfc. I can't even imagine 4chan or any other anonymous board trying to enforce a "no disagreements" rule
Wtf, how was Freddie Mercury an awful person aside from any of the standard "sex, drugs and rock n' roll" stuff?
If you're basing your opinion of him off of the movie- don't. It's a good movie but it's rife with historical inaccuracies.
He had the vocal range of an opera singer (nearly four octaves). Even when ye was deathly ill, he would record songs for the band. When he recorded Show Must Go On
, he couldn't even walk. In life, he anonymously donated to AIDS charities, and the Mercury Phoenix Trust founded in his honor has raised millions for AIDS research.
The only truly shitty thing he dud was hide his AIDS from the public. But can you honestly blame him? He wanted to be an artist, not a social activist.
Saged for Queen sperging.
I feel you, anon. My parents are the same way. My father in particular talks down to me like a child (although he doesn't necessarily intend to). He lost custody of me when I was seven, so I think I'm perpetually seven in his subconscious.
He'll tell me not to drop things, or tell me to do something I'm literally already doing.
Possibly, but they also mention wanting MORE work done a lot, which is mostly giving me wtf.
Also I wouldn't even be getting the same stuff they did done. They had a face transplant, injections, botox, etc
I'd just be getting a teeny bit of lipo and a breast… lift? Augmentation? not making them bigger but just lifting them/possibly reducing them a bit more bc theyre kinda fuckin w/ my back.
oh lord, i mixed up terminology.
face LIFT, not transplant.
Really? I think it's a gross display of vanity, especially on an anonymous image board.
We're on here for other farmer's minds and opinions, not for their appearance or hobbies.
I just want to see text sperging, not the actual sperg behind them.
I was kind of surprised to see it, too. Also made me feel oldfag af (I'm over 30) lol.>>377271>tbh i think its cute?
Still don't understand how this is supposed to be a question.
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>had a doctor appointment on monday for some check ups
>everything is fine
>one day later things start to feel not so good
>plans to go to the doctor on the next day to check if something is wrong
>calls the doctor office on the mentioned next day
>secretary tells me that my doctor in charge is only at his office this week until 12 pm
>I work until 3 pm so I can't go after work
>At the same time there isn't enough time to go there before work because my work starts shortly after the doctor office opens
>Things still feel bad, gets worse because I can't stop worrying about it.
>Still debates if I should go there tomorrow of leave it for this week and just wait for my next appointment, which is on next tuesday
idk man I'm so conflicted lmao
I also hate that my nailpolish pops up in one piece like??? this isn't a peel off glitter nail polish?
Don't wanna be too extreme, but I had a couple of deaths in the family where people felt 'not quite right' the day or two before. I don't know what your condition is, but I'd say go if you truly feel that bad. Things can go south really, really fast.
But again, I don't know your situation, so it's up to you. Better safe than sorry tho
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>parents either say awful or misinformed things about me and the situation
>try to explain how it's different and takes time now
>how it doesn't mean I'm not trying
>mom gets especially horrible with me and makes me feel like a piece of shit
>says I don't try hard enough and should be pursuing more
>literally a day later
>callback and successful final interview
>"See anon? All you needed to do was have a bit of patience and not give up hope!"
You're the ones who made me feel like shit and implied I should have been employed within a month though you fucking mentally ill doughnuts?
>>376884>where you are probably giving off subliminal signals that you think other people are stupid
I don't know about that, whether that's the case or not I'm not noticing it. I really didn't have this impression of my coworkers at all until the second half of the internship and they were already acting this way. I've also noticed they're treating me more like an idiot or an annoyance when they're on edge for one reason or another, like having problems with clients and other things that have nothing to do with me and my performances. And once their problems are solved they calm down.
Maybe I'm too easy to read, maybe it's the case for everyone in the office, idk. We just got a new manager this week since the other one is on maternity leave and she's way more relaxed and less petty, and I feel like there's a positive impact on the whole team thanks to that, so it helps a bit. They're still not people I enjoy having lunch with though.
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I am hopefully buying a used car this week and I'm dead anxious about it. I have bought a new car from a dealer in the past and it wasn't a big deal, but since I'm buying used this time I guess I'm scared I'll wind up a lemon. I'll be using the money I got selling my car privately plus some savings to get this 3 year old car with 30k miles on it and I'm tempted to go older and crappier because I felt safe having that money in the bank, but I need a car so I can get a job closer to me instead of taking the train for an hour, and I want the features it has. I'm also worried I won't be able to talk the dealer down; I need him to come down like 900 dollars, and I'll be paying up front, not financing, so I hope that gives me some control…but I know I have to be willing to walk away.
I hate that I get this crippling anxiety before making like any decisions ever, it completely clouds my reasonable judgment and makes me unable to act. When I signed the lease for my new house I had a panic attack and threw up all night because I was so scared I picked the wrong house (even though it's wound up being my favorite place I've ever lived and I want to stay here basically forever). All I can do is catastrophize and assume the worst outcome of every little thing. The older I get, the worse my anxiety is.
Part of what's on other anons minds are their hobbies and tastes and seeing someone that shares the same interests and experiences might spark an interesting conversation. Also, what appearance? A stick figure with a turtleneck and colored lips?
>I just want to see text sperging, not the actual sperg behind them.
then don't go to that thread and hide it, it clearly states it's purpose on the title. You're only looking for things to get mad at and complain about later.
These people are probably also lonely and just want to tell someone about themselves, most have written off social life as pretty and if they spend their time on lolcow I not surprised.
Anons can have a drink water thread where nothing happens except someone screaming into the void HAVE YOU DRANK WATER TODAY!!!? but other anons aren’t allowed to share stuff like their hobbies with one another? It’s such a stupid thing to find annoying or vent about, like you said, just hide the thread.
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My mom's cooking is shit. And I'm so tired of being polite and patient when I've tried to help her in many ways to make it better but she won't fucking listen. Or she resists when I suggest things like gasp !seasoning! and all she replies with is how she 'likes her food bland.' Well, then that's why it's shit. Maybe being a chainsmoker has finally taken its toll on her tastebuds. She can't even bother to look up and follow a recipe despite not working and having all the time of day. She wings it and then she wonders why others think the food is hot garbage. It makes me mad because it's a waste of food since leftovers don't get eaten because she doesn't bother portioning ingredients either.
I can't ever cook anything nice for her because she always has a complaint, usually about the food being too ~exotic~ or some such stupidity, and she'll either pick at it like a bird or eat it begrudgingly.
She gets huffy if I cook too many meals in a row because then she acts like I'm intruding upon her space in the kitchen.
She made fish tonight and the filets were soggy and waterlogged because she just slapped them straight into an oven dish frozen with hunks of cut lemon, spring onion, garlic, and regular onion.
>"It's super buttery anon, you'll have to fish yours out."
No, the entire dish is water from the frozen filets and the film of margarine at the top does not buttery make.
I had to put that shit in my mouth and dare not complain lest she get pissy for not receiving the help that she explicitly loathes me for giving.
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I'm trying to learn how to fill in my eyebrows after being told by multiple people I'd look much better if I did so. It's pretty hard. I think each one looks good on its own, but totally different from each other. Definitely cousins, not even sisters.
This. Lolcow has been used as a honeypot and the first admin shared user IPs to other chan owners to identify them. Revealing your appearance, age, gender, interests, nationality etc. combined with your post history seems like a really bad idea to me. I guess that's why so many posters in that thread are so young.
And even without all that being considered it's still cringy and reeks of self-obsession.
What's the actual consequence regarding admins on chan sites knowing a certain set of characteristics that are associated to a particular IP, and why would they care unless that IP was causing issues?
Are they gonna have a laugh at your expense over your post history? Well, I suppose.
I'd be more embarrassed posting pictures and charts to chan sites in case my irl friends recognized me. You know, people who are actually real to me whose opinions I actually value.
You haven't failed yourself anon, please don't ever think that. I second >>377741
That kind of behavior in relationships is unfortunately such a normalised thing that many people don't even recognise it as wrong (including the guys that are doing it) but it's your body and your choice how to feel about it. It's understandable that she is concerned and I would would suggest taking awareness of this into future relationships but if you feel that in the confines of that particular relationship where you felt trust and care that you're fine, then that's your decision and nobody can tell you what's wrong or right to feel about your own body.
You could write down your feelings about how you want to move on to different areas of discussion so that you can express yourself firmly next time you go in, you can always return to the topic another time if you want to
Thank you for your responses anons.
I am most certainly annoyed with this whole situation but I think what's getting to me is that in my mind I'm starting to question if I was manipulated into feeling ok with everything whether by him or by my idiot self. does that make sense?
I've been told I have a tendency to downplay situations and feelings because of an "I don't have it as bad as others" mindset (one of the few reasons I'm in therapy in the first place).
Obviously i do not expect answers from you kind anons but i must say it does feel good to vent and know people are listening. my next session is in two weeks so I will indeed write these thoughts down and discuss it further later on.
You're not an idiot, you're just overly empathetic and put others before yourself. If everyone was like that then nobody would ever get hurt, it's not your fault that we live in a world where unfortunately such people are going to be taken advantage of and so you just have to learn to protect yourself.
Your feelings are valid, it's important to value and be kind to yourself as much as you would another person. It seems like you've suddenly been given a lot think about, so writing through it all sounds like a good idea, good luck
wow, rude :/
Sorry for posting, I guess. I didn't know you had to be a native English speaker to post here.
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I just made my own dentist appointment, my mouth is still dry and I’m still sweating but I did it kek the anxiety will be worth having beautiful clean teeth
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Ok nevermind, I'm definitely not imagining it. My coworkers were actually being rude or ignoring me because they thought I was way younger than them even though we're all the same age (mid-twenties). The topic of technologies came up for some reasons and we were talking about when we first had access to the internet, stuff like that, and when I said something about it one of them cut me off and almost yelled that I'm not their age so I should not give my opinion. This bitch is only a few months older than me. This specific coworker was raised in a barn, I'm 100% sure of it because it's not even like she was being curious and contributing to the discussion, she just wanted me to shut up so she could talk more than everyone else. I'm sure they thought I'm way younger than the team because I'm an intern but half of us are interns so that's not an excuse. Even if I were just 18yo if I'm working my ass of for less than minimum wage and no recognition then I can contribute to whatever discussions we're having anyway. Fuck this, only 3 weeks to go and I'm free.
im not even really a dog person albeit working with animals, and i agree that you should definitely adopt a shelter dog. i don't like contributing to breeders.
its ultimately up to you and i understand your frustrations w the rest of it, but that was just one thing that stuck out to me
Why are amerifags so triggered
by other nationalities and languages?
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I finally split with my boyfriend after having enough of him just yesterday.
I really do love and care for him, but the final straw was when I refused to have sex and he started going at me about how I can't hold promises or compromises and how that really hurts him. Eventually, I just had enough and told him that it's time to split, especially since he was always constantly arguing and whining about how I wouldn't do X and how he began to demand my time a lot; even when I was busy.
Now he's apparently on the verge of suicide and posting cryptic things on the internet. My friends tell me he isn't a stable man and that I should not come back to him, and I'm getting my phone blown up. I'm terrified and I don't know what to do. I haven't had anyone be this obsessive over me, and I feel like I'm responsible if this man hurts himself.
These mean a lot, even on this hellsite.>>378127
I'm so tired of crying but its all I can really do. I'm really sorry for your grandma, she was probably amazing. I lost mine recently too and it still hurts even when you know someone's getting old and you should be "expecting" it, but you never really do or accept that kind of expectation.
at least I can smile at how annoyed my cats are from being picked up and cried on at random intervals.
nah youre not responsible, you did what you needed for you. that wasnt healthy in the slightest. and how low to have sex be the thing that made him blow the fuck up about promises and shit>>378167
losing someone that close to you is some of the hardest shit we can go through. i lost my mom about 5 years back from health complications and i still struggle with it. feel that pain for sure but i hope you dont let it consume you. my mom was huge into gardening, so seeing even a garden in passing by a random house would make me burst into tears. definitely find a healthy way to process the pain and for sure find something that will help celebrate the things that you loved about him the most.
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This sounds emo and cringey as shit but I'm not completely sure that I'm capable of genuinely loving another human being. I still badly want to be loved tho.
Edgy but I’ll bite
Has anyone ever loved you? Even your parents or anyone?
I used to be the same until I found someone that actually cared
I don't really have a good childhood sob story if you were looking for one. My childhood wasn't spectacular but it wasn't horrific and abusive
either. I get along with my mother fine but I don't think I'd give my life to save hers or anything like that.
Do you really think anyone is capable of doing so?
Do you actually see any genuinely loving relationships around you? If you do, how many mediocre, shitty or downright abusive
relationships do you see in comparison? I'm guessing the shitty ones far outweigh the truly loving ones.
Romantic relationships and the idea of such are compulsively pushed in male dominated societies as a means of producing more male children and now recently, they're being used to create the next line of (male) consumers.
I wouldn't worry too much about it honestly. You have the entirety of your spirit to go forth and chase after whatever hobby, dream, goal or fulfillment you desire.
>>378209>Do you actually see any genuinely loving relationships around you?
I'm not in their relationship, how would I know if they're genuinely in love lol
>Romantic relationships and the idea of such are compulsively pushed in male dominated societies as a means of producing more male children and now recently, they're being used to create the next line of (male) consumers.
In a few years you'll realize how cringey you sound right now, hopefully
You know that…lesbians fall in love and get married and stuff, right? It's not all males FORCING ROMANCE ON WOMEN or whatever.
Sorry we aren't all the aroace master race like you lmao.
Lesbians by their very nature cannot reproduce together and face completely different societal/relationship expectations and recieve different media messages than heterosexuals.
If lesbians truly are buying into the whole "celebrate romance by buying more shit and pumping out more kids" then they're not any better, but I highly doubt as a group that's true.
I'm heterosexual myself and I obviously still have sexual and romantic desires. Are people not allowed to critique societal norms or something?
Why do you feel the need to defend men and bring up lesbians when you know you're wrong? Nearly all of the business/societal messages surrounding romance and heterosexuality is done by males and male CEOs.
Sorry, in your op it didn't seem like you were simply critiquing it, you implied that no one was capable of romantic attachment. That was your first (rhetorical) question. I don't like the narrative we're all supposed to follow with fixed masculine and feminine roles where you must pump out 2 kids by 30, either. It does force people to stay in relationships they hate and have kids they resent and ultimately abuse.
Clearly that wasn't your intention though (to deny the existence of genuine attachment occurring ever), so again, sorry for misunderstanding there. I agree that if that specific anon can't "love" anyone then she should just forget about it and do her thing. It wouldn't be fair to whoever she would get together with.
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I can't stand the amount of hypochondriacs that come to the clinic, who the fuck comes to the ER for a fever? Or the amount of patients who bitch and whine over every little inconveniences or how many will lie and lie on their reports and fuck everything up. There's real ass people dying right now and some fuck heads thought it would be genius to come to the ER because their throat hurts
My love life is a complete mess too, a combination of men being childish and getting randomly cold out of literally nowhere and my low self worth making me feel like it's my fault when I know literally every woman I know has this issue with men
Everyone should use common sense and not to to the doctor unless they have an infection for over a week or two, a general checkup, vaccines, or a specialist referral.
ER is for severe illness or physical trauma. Chest pains, head injuries, broken limbs etc. I’ll never get over fainting in the ER from appendicitis while some fat bitch screamed and moaned about the ankle she sprained two days ago and pushed other people away from the triage desk.
It’s like people drop their dignity at the door of hospitals. The amount of whining and abuse triage nurses get is unfathomable, I’m enuonely surprised the turnover and suicide rates arent higher.
Going to write this as a sort of TL;DR, don't want to go into too much detail.
My fiance is an alcoholic. He used to drink to excess literally every day and would get really aggressive and abusive (physically and verbally, also sexually I guess). Got to the point of leaving him a few times, but always ended up going back because I had no idea what to do with my life alone.
About a month ago, I finally got fed up with it and was about to leave for good (again). He started literally sobbing and got on the floor begging me not to leave. Said he'd never drink again and go to AA and whatnot. He has never been like this, ever, he's always that annoyingly macho type of person that's all "hurr guys can't ever show their emotions," like RedPill shit. I was like "I literally don't believe you at all and don't think you're ever going to change but I can't bear to see you hurting like this so I'll stay I guess." And that was more or less that.
Fast forward a week, he asks if I want to get wine, I embarrassingly start crying because I had foolishly started imagining a life with him where he was actually sober. He sort of reneges on the 'not drinking ever' thing to make it a 'not drinking while around you' thing. I am avoidant and depressed and just let it go because I don't want to argue. He also said that it was my fault for him getting aggressive when drunk and that he was always fine with having a few drinks before he met me (spoiler, he wasn't).
After that, he starts drinking in his car and hiding it from me. I have known he's been doing this for about three weeks now, every day after work and when he "goes to the gym," which he does more than ever now (hmmm). I pretend not to know and sort of convinced myself I was wrong despite all the obvious signs, until yesterday when I went down to the communal trash area to take pictures of the beer cans I knew would be there after he came back from work. He also just casually ordered a beer when we were out a few days ago and I was too pussy to say anything then because I didn't want to ruin the night.
Still haven't confronted him about it. IDK, I know I should have just left him ages ago, but I am just so depressed I can't imagine starting my life over. I have literally no friends or acquaintances or family so I'd just be totally on my own. I also don't have a job or practically any experience or education.
I would just leave him while he's at work but I did that one time and it really devastated him, I would feel too cruel doing it again. But he's so manipulative and I'm such a doormat that I feel like he would be able to talk me out of leaving like he did last time. We're both just wasting each others' time at this rate, though; need to just get it over with. But I am so content to just sit around and do nothing. So hard to force myself into action. Yet the longer I wait, the less strength I will have.
Most of the time I just fantasize about getting hit by a train so I get the decision taken out of my hands and don't actually have to do anything lmao.
I know the obvious answer is obviously to dump his ass. Just wanted to type out my frustration here. I hope I can not be a complete idiot and work up the nerve to move out later this week.
And I have planned countless classes of training and hired a person to do puppy visits when I'm at work. Hundreds of dollars. Pet insurance for $80 a month.
Me wanting a particular dog does not make me a poor owner, fuckface
It’s different here. Nobody waits two weeks to see a gp. Three days is average. People with a minor sinus infection getting antibiotics on the second day are wasting time and antibiotics, and just spreading their germs to more people.
It’s retarded to go to the doctor for the sniffles unless it doesn’t go away in a reasonable amount of time. Overmedicated sooks filling up the waiting room because little Johnny has a scrape do not need to be there. Competent people can handle a cold or a heat rash without wasting a doctors time.
Anon the best thing for you is to slowly leave him. By that I mean get a manageable part-time or full-time job, enough to live off of and make friends until you have enough money to pack up ur shit. You have to spring into action somehow anon and actually plan on leaving or else you'll just find yourself years later with a kid and abusive
alcoholic husband unable to leave and that's going to fuck them (the kid) over. don't do it.
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I have two midterms this coming Friday but I can't study. I fucked up my reading week staying in bed due to some fucked up circumstances and I just feel like shit. I can't focus, and if I do, I only focus for about 10 to 15 minutes. At this point, failure seems inevitable. I would ask my friend to study with me on campus, but I don't want to make her come here just because of my inability to study. I hate this. I don't understand much of what is going on for the midterms and I have an overwhelming desire to cry but also of apathy.
Lastly, my crush, while drunk (I don't know how drunk he was), told me that he loved me and that he was excited that I was flying down to see my friends, which includes him. Obviously, drunk words don't mean much and I had a feeling that he just kind of says this to other girls. That feeling was confirmed by my friend when he said "There are a lot of girls in his life".
Yeah wew I was a fool for thinking I actually mattered.
I understand how you feel but>but I don't want to make her come here just because of my inability to study.
makes me think about how men get ahead. I can't help but wonder if I take the male approach, how much better off I would be. Worrying about other people is a huge burden that is rarely talked about.
>>378018>I want a puppy>I want a purebred>I don't want shelter dog problems
I have a purebred dog that I rescued when she was 3 months old. Her owner died unexpectedly and no one in the family could take care of her. She doesn't have any issues. Purebred dogs actually tend to have more issues, health wise, than mutts though. Nothing wrong with wanting a puppy, specific breed, or even a specific color imo, but there's zero excuse to buy a dog.
There are plenty of rescue organizations for purebred dogs. Look up "x dog breed" + "rescue" (there are often local, regional, national levels of these), fill out an adoption application, and ask them to contact you when they have puppies.
semi-drunken vent, sorry.
i decided to save sex for marriage/true love when i was really young, like 9 or 10, and i'm now in my twenties and still an unmarried virgin. it's fine with me, it really is. i'm not a very sexual person, and if i have an urge i can take care of it myself. plus i see most guys as being scum anyway. i even made it through a somewhat serious, two year-long relationship without giving in and having any kind of sex with my ex. but lately i've had the urge to throw my morals out the window and hook up with a random guy. it's kind of like the feeling i get when i hold a knife or something and think to myself, "holy shit, i could stab myself with this"; like, i'm not actually going to stab myself but i still have that intrusive thought telling me that i could if i wanted to. the same goes for guys now - i see a really attractive guy or one flirts with me and i think to myself how easy it would be to just give in and sleep with one of them. i guess the worst part is that after breaking up with my ex, i don't even know if i believe in love at all anymore, so there's a part of me that genuinely wonders why i still care so much about saving my virginity. if i'm not going to find that true love i thought i would as a kid because it doesn't even exist, why bother 'preserving' myself for it? i don't know.
I honestly wouldn't recommend it. Not necessarily because your virginity is so special, but because I think 'if in doubt, don't' is a good guideline for sex related decisions.
You don't need to cling to preserving your virginity, but if you really WANT it (rather than just thinking it would be easy) you should go for it. It might take being in another relationship, or it might just take a guy who is crazy hot. But if you're on the fence, it's probably not gonna be worth your while.
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I'm so worried right now. I've been visiting a therapist since last year, everything was going just right, until i noticed something weird: she didn't diagnose anything yet, i didn't really care about it as i thought she was taking her time to see what the fuck is wrong with me, so i didn't say anything…until yesterday. I casually asked if i had something she should tell me about, and she said: "I don't think i should tell you because i have hopes on you, maybe you can grow of it or not" i understand what she said, but i really want to know what it is, i've been living almost a decade on a fucking hell just for some "unnindentified", temporary mental illness? then when she saw i was a little worried about it (even when i was always chill and never reacted like this until now) she literally rushed me outside and told me the session was "over" even when we talked like for 15 minutes. What the fuck is going on? I just want answers.
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That makes a lot of sense actually, thanks for your answer, none of my family knows how to handle this type of things and i don't have many friends since i moved recently. I did have a friend with BPD and autism and therapists (she went to 6 different doctors) would evade her questions a lot. Maybe it's better for me like this.
no it just makes u a poor human being
and doing the bare minimum for ur dog doesn't make u a good owner either kek
if you don't have a GP, GO TO URGENT CARE!! i recently had a scare that i had appendicitis and i was freaking myself out so much i almost fainted from anxiety. i went to a walk-in clinic and they did some tests and told me i was fine, probably just pulled a muscle or something and yeah, eventually the pain went away. it was quick and easy and made me calm tf down, which was honestly making my symptoms worse. if you have something serious going on they find at urgent care you'll go to the ER, but don't go to the ER for random paranoia like me unless it's EXTREMELY painful.
That’s really shitty anon. Sucks you were stuck with that and sucks more for your siblings. Learning manners is hard when you’re autistic, but if you’re verbally functional you can learn to use some basic manners. He shouldn’t be allowed to get away with things because he’s autistic, it will hurt him and you/your other siblings in the long run.
So the other siblings know how to protect their boundaries and be assertive? >>378630
Acknowledging marital rape is crazed sjw? Fuck off incel.
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>decide to meet up with guy 4 years older than me off 4chan
>figure nothing would come of it but I was thirsty for the thicc cock and he was relative close proximity
>a bit of a nerd engineer type but dressed nice, clean, groomed, had good teeth
>meet at bar
>he actually listens to me and converses
>don't use my phone at all bc he's that engaging
>asks if I want to go back to his place
>follow him and roll up to a $400k home with 5 bedrooms, kinda emptily furnished
>tells me how he's wanted me all night but we hold off
>we make a seafood dinner together and he cracks open some wine
>has some nerd hobbies but isn't obsessed with vidya or anime
>we mess around, he's pretty vanilla and sweet, no signs of degeneracy
>wind up fucking all night
>he's super passionate and seems very into me, faces me and kisses me a lot, cuddles me after
>made me breakfast before I left the next morning
>say we should do this again and he agrees
I can't help but feel I'm just a rebound though, the reason why his home was so bare bones was because his wife divorced and left in November. I'd be surprised if he took me seriously because I feel so out of league financially. In fact I feel like he's on 4chan specifically to meet women which I don't begrudge him for (and he treated me nicely), I just wish I could get someone real like this and be confident that I'm up to snuff to keep. I don't think I've ever gotten with someone with such nice prospects before and I'd hate to get my hopes up.
Trust me when I say I've met more scumbags through actual dating platforms than I ever have from 4chan. And the last long term relationship that I gained through "organic" means flopped because after years of waiting, I realized I was with a manchild.
I've been through hell so maybe 4chan feels like the purgatory; it could go good or bad but at least I've known it and the men that browse there for so long that it feels less like a complete wildcard. I think I just got lucky this time and it feels really good to have been so.
Whenever I have panic attacks I'm too busy trying to fight the god awful intrusive thoughts looping in my head and the sweating and shaking. Not to mention the thoughts of "I really wanna end this right now" I have.
I had a panic attack a couple of weeks ago and it was the worst one I've ever had. I still haven't felt right since, and often feel jittery most days. Just got upped on my meds, so I'm hoping that'll help.
You could just be coming off as obnoxious and weight obsessed like
an ana chan. It's not like everyone who gets called a fatty chan is actually fat either.
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Okay so i had this friend who was very close to me many years ago, and we had a falling out because i was mentally unstable and she was always trying to control the situation and being all "you need to go back to the church", which drove me over the edge.
Basically, more than 5 years have passed since this falling out and i recently tried to reconnect with her because hey, i was 14-15 and dumb and making mistakes and i missed her friendship which was very good when we didn't fight because of the stupid shit i did very frequently thanks to my emotional instability. I came clear, apologized for all the shitty stuff that happened on my part and told her i wanted to reconnect. She didn't accept it, which is like, fine, some people just don't want to go back to the past, but the reasons she gave me were so stupid i'm just annoyed.
She said she didn't want to be with me because i'm wiccan (i'm not wiccan, i just have an interest in occultism) and this is bringing evil spirits onto me and she "can't stand my darkness" and "gets headaches near me" amongst citing stuff from 5-6 years ago (like my difficult relationship with my mother, which i solved because i'm not a stupid teen anymore) as reasons of why my life is failing.
I won't try to get close to her anymore, and this sounds like a bunch of bullshit excuses, but i guess what killed me the most is that i grew up and changed, and i was expecting her to have changed now that we're both adults, but she is the same as she was when we fell out. I'm just frustrated, i guess.
I am possibly too stupid and definitely too poor to go back to school to enter the field I wanted to do originally. My current field is really boring and requires social skills to really stay in it as you get older even if I did enjoy it.
I am incapable of making or maintaining friendships. My personality is weird and people say I'm aloof/frigid/cold. When I am forward and talk alot, I say stuff that people laugh at or make fun of me (possible aspie, I am in engineering so maybe) so it's better in the long run to not try. Most people seem to have their family be their social safety net and I can't really rely on mine, therefore I believe I'd need to marry to have that. I guess it does look like I am making life all about finding a man but it's a bunch of things together. If I had 2/3 I'd be content but I have 0/3.
I'm in kind of an annoying situation, where I would like to move into an apartment, but my friend is being a flake and I can already tell I can't rely on her to make a decision to move in with me.
I don't make a whole lot of money though, so finding a place for me to live by myself is kinda overwhelming. The major apartment websites offer me like, three places to live between my house and work (a 40 minute drive), which I can and probably will check, but I decided to look into income-based stuff too and that didn't make anything better. I'm just feeling overwhelmed in general and there's not really anyone I know who can help.
The county my work is in just charges more for everything in general, whereas mine can be dumpy in places, and me looking at cheap places is definitely going to lead somewhere dumpy I'm afraid
just aaaaa I just want someone to point at a place and go "this is nice" and it would fit perfectly
I almost had that, but I called them and asked about utilities on top of the rent and after sitting down doing all the math it would be like paycheck and a half per month for me, and I'm trying to actually have a savings, despite it being pretty darn nice
I… love my boyfriend so much but the one thing we argue on is, like, I have a tendency to really hate people, especially over things like them telling jokes about rape and/or pedophilia and the likes, I’m a CSA survivor, so… yeah. He is right that it’s also my bpd creating black and white thinking but like, I don’t get what’s wrong with hating shitty people, he tells me to look at both sides, that if I hated everyone who did bad things like that, I’d hate everyone… that I’m just hurting myself hating them… it’s not like I spend all my life hating these people, it’s just like, when I see/hear about say, Donald Glover, I recoil and get uncomfortable remembering what he’s done that personally greatly bothers me. Is it really that wrong of me? Am I scummy and spreading wrongful hate? Like I said, I only really, really hate people who use the trauma that’s ruined my life as jokes or other offensive material…
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There’s discourse dropping in my section of the fandom internet about how being “parasocial” is toxic
>Parasocial interaction (PSI), as originally hypothesized by Horton and Wohl (1956), offers an explanation of the ways in which audience members develop their one-sided relationships with the media being consumed
Of course, this is literally ever woman who is in a fandom, ever, but now it feels like the more “respectable adult” fans are using buzzwords to shame the autists out of their spaces.
This is the same sort of girl bullying that led to me hanging with weird fandom kids at lunch when I was in school, and now that nerd shit is cool again you’re kicking us back out. Fuck you.
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What? What's the angle on that one?
How is growing emotionally attached to media and characters, which you're meant to grow emotionally attached to, problematic
I get that in extreme cases where the relationship is formed with real people (like actors or youtubers) and expectations are placed on them to behave a certain way or it evolves into stalking it's shitty. But always?
Are waifus and husbandos now also forbidden?
There is such a service but I'm so forgetful that I didn't because there was a 24 hour wait before registering it and I never got around to it after>>379340
Sorry to hear that anon but yes, this is exactly what happened to me lol
I was new to the area and was constantly taking out my phone for direction without knowing I subconsciously put my metrocard in the same pocket
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My parents got into a car crash and we actually had grounds to force the guy to give us between 1,332 and 1599 USD, but my mom fucking didn't. She KNEW we could have used that money for our own good to repair our house. She fucking KNEW THAT, and she also KNEW that HER name is on the case so nobody but HER can get the money. She fucking didn't!! She skimped me and my dad out over a thousand dollars because she's a raging fucking whore that wants to sit on her bed all day, be a lazy boomer and look at facebook and instagram. I'm so fucking mad, and there's NOTHING i can do about it. I've yelled at her, talked to her countless times, I've done everything short of beating the shit out of her. There's this MASSIVE opportunity to earn us a better living and she's sitting on her ass. We've got therapy to pay, medication to buy every month, a house that needs repairs, and she's IGNORING it. I'm honestly soooo fucking livid and she conveniently waits for me to forget about the topic. There's nothing i can fucking do, i don't want to resort to violence agaisnt my own mother but god damn i'm so angry.
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Everything is honestly so painful. So many missed opportunities, so many people telling me to 'take control of my life' when shit was completely out of my control. It was people either sticking their slimy fingers into my life and me being too young and immature to know how to intervene, or me seeing opportunities and acting on them and somehow getting cucked out of it completely by chance. How the fuck are you just supposed to "take control of your life" when you're a toddler completely at the mercy of everyone that walks beside you, including other children? How was i supposed to know that people abusing me and berating me wasn't normal? Now i'm in mid twenties, completely filled with childhood trauma that everyone tells me to just "Move on.". How? Genuinely How? How do i unwrite years of traumatic wiring that has been fermenting ever since i barely was a toddler? People repeat that over and over to me like i haven't t tried to overcome and move on from my childhood, but adults regularly went out of their way to keep me in the system.
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I think the signs of rheumatoid arthritis are setting in and I'm just sad about it. I knew it would happen since my mother has been riddled with it since she was 14 (and her father had it), but I was hoping to have at least graduated uni and started my job first. I don't want to get checked yet in fear of them prescribing a drug that makes your hair fall out and makes you fat.
I was just getting into exercise, too. Of course my health would fail me as I try to help it out.
I stayed a virgin until I met my husband. I didn't plan for it to happen like that, it just sort of did through a series of circumstances that relate back to my childhood.
Like you I had a negative view of men and sex in general. This came from what happened when I was growing up. It left me with a hatred of men and a belief that relationships were pointless because it would only ever end badly. As I got older this culminated in serious issues with trust and social anxiety that had their own consequences. I won't go into any of this because tl;dr. My lack of desire for sex or a relationship started to make me feel ashamed and like there was something wrong with me. The people around me were doing these things and they had none of the issues that I had. I used to wish that I could get it over with. I even started to wonder if I was gay.
Now I'm still not sure how I feel about. I don't regret it and I'm glad that my first time was with someone that I trusted and had an emotional connection with. It's something special between us because he was my first and I was his second, but I'm not convinced that it's been of any real consequence either. It doesn't matter to me that he had a girlfriend before me and I doubt he would care if it was the same for me.
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Just once it would be nice to have someone reassure me. I'm the cheerleader for everyone in my life, I play the positive, supporting friend, but that means if I ever start to slip it's met with contempt from all sides. I'm emotionally exhausted and I don't know how to take time for myself anymore.
Rapists and pedos more often than not get away with, their victims
are so often left without justice.
Your boyfriend feels empathy towards the wrong kinds of people.
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it may not mean much but this internet stranger is rooting for you. don't feel bad for taking well-deserved time for yourself, and don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm, especially for ungrateful leeches who turn on you for rightfully needing support. i hope you can find real friends who support you just as much as you support them
calm down, anon. it's really
not that much money and even so, it's not your decision to make anyway. it was your parents' car accident, not yours - your mom is free to act however she sees fit. i'm sure she has her reasons for not going for the money beyond being 'a lazy boomer'. you can disagree with her decisions, but calling her names and sperging about physically harming her is insane. who says and thinks those kinds of things about their own mother?
Yeah but anon used the word force
.>She said that if I was forced into sex at any point
It doesn't sound like he coerced or cajoled her, it sounds like rape.
actually anon, wanting people dead because of tasteless jokes is
an overreaction. maybe if donald glover was an actual rapist and not just some idiot making a garbage joke, i’d agree, but probably the one and only thing your bf is right about is that you’re literally wasting your energy on this. if it’s that much of a problem, leave him, clearly he’s not going to change his mind on consuming certain media. that or continue to try and reason in vain and come here to try and justify sticking around someone who makes you uncomfortable.
You need to get an mp3 player and some tunes. Or just copy your favorite songs onto your phone. I don't have misophonia but I used to get so
irritated by various noises when I was younger. I still get extremely annoyed just hearing other people's conversations on public transport, but I'm ok with home-noises, I just tune out. You need some music. You can have one earphone in and the other out if you need to talk at the same time, it will still dull the annoyance.
I feel you anon. I thought I was average (even cute!) for the longest time but after being rejected by a slew of average manlets I realized I must be an ogre of some sort. I've only been hit on once and it was by some guy practising pua techniques on every woman he could get attention from at University lmao. Even men who also have the same wide nose and dopey sad eyes hate women with the same features.
I hope you can find someone anyway, anon. If it helps at all I'd probably find you cute. Most people are adorable in one way or another as long as they shower and stuff, that's how I've always seen it. Most people just have a narrow view for some reason, het men especially.
I'm like this too. Very overly sensitive to any slight form of negativity. Then, I ruminate on it for hours, which affects my work and puts me in a sour mood.
It is irrational though. Everyone has to deal with criticism and naggy coworkers, because those same people nagging you are being nagged by someone else. As long as you are conscious of the discomfort you feel, you can make a solid effort to fight against it. The only way it's gotten better for me is that I remind myself it's just work, nothing personal, these people/projects/etc should not occupy my mind for longer than necessary.
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YouTubers like ImAlexx and Kuntstar just sound like annoying man children. They complain about YouTube fucking up the comments and taking away ad revenue on videos with questionable content because Matt Watson decided to contact YouTube to crack down on videos with child porn themes. Alex cries about how it threatens his ability to pay his rent as if getting a job outside of YouTube is a foreign concept. It's just disgusting and whiny how manchildren than play videogames or make repetitive, unoriginal commentary videos complain about their YouTube bucks. Their "job" is not hard or challenging, no matter how they make it out to be. Here they are crying about their YouTube revenue being taken away with no regard to weird pedophilic content on YouTube.
I usually don't mind IamAlex but yeah he did seem really entitled in that last video. Extra whiney and kind of hypocritical considering he is a commentary channel that rips apart others.
Vent- some lady at my work is a fucking gossip and the type to make you feel like she's concerned when she only does it to get information
Thank you for this.
Fuck people with jobs that rely on advertising and shilling people useless fucking things.
Get a new form of donations/backing for fucks sake, stop feeding into this gross consumerism culture. If you're so scared that you'll fall into poverty because you can't utilize ads anymore, good fucking riddance, your content clearly isn't good enough to be supported outside of it.
My mother has sabotaged me my whole life and I'm just so fucking angry about it. She intentionally posts unflattering pictures of me on her Facebook, next to nice ones of herself, to feel better. She shittalks about what a terrible daughter I am, for really petty things that even her friends in the comment sections say, "Come on, it's not that bad." My mother always refused to let me wear skirts, shorts, and anything that fit well or made me happy. It was always tattered or tacky patterns from the thrift store; I wasn't allowed to have new clothes (she owns channel btw, money is not an issue). Now she yelled at me this morning "WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES!? I BOUGHT A TON!" Because I threw them away. I'm sick of wearing itchy, furry neon pink striped sweaters from the 80's, while she tries to dress like a teen. This isn't even including the times she sneered or tried to get in the way when a cute guy was talking to me, or how she said I wasn't skinny enough to wear the clothes I liked when I was younger/no guy would ever want me that I developed an eating disorder. She puts me down for any good thing I do, telling me it will end badly later because I'm not skilled or competent enough.
yeah, it kind of sucks. im bi but my area is kind of just full of straight girls on drugs looking to 'party' with a third so that's out of the question.
i thought maybe i was cute for a bit of time too, weirdly enough, but I feel like I look monsterous, especially compared to my friends, who are all REALLY cute. I feel like I'm kept around because it makes them seem cuter or something.
Seconding the anon who said this is classic narcissist behavior.
Not to piggyback, but my mom's a narc in very similar ways insofar as always wanting to have control about everything I wore, and made sure that it was unflattering trash that aged me. She always got particularly aghast if I wore anything with """""cleavage""""" and I can't help but grit my teeth typing that because I never wore anything that
revealing to begin with.
Don't even get me started on cute guys, she'd sooner chase them away and assert I needed to ~learn to love~ gross old geezers with some money because that's what would really make me happy (projecting).
Your mom projects like mine does and has a competitive, childlike mentality. I've gotten better at tolerating her bullshit by slashing my emotional dependency on her and coping by reasoning that whatever shit she's been through has left her with an unstable teenage brain in a 63 year old body. Just because she has a matured body doesn't make her mature. And trust me, the sabotage is all a part of the narc's manipulative plan to keep you crawling back.
What? What kind of health condition could you possibly have that makes it so you feel like it's your "last chance" to be pregnant at 27?
I thought when you said you wish he'd hear you out I thought maybe you had a good counter to claim how an unplanned pregnancy could be manageable for you both, but instead it sounds like you're shoehorning a baby into your life because you feel you won't get another chance. That's not a very good nor healthy reason.
What would you even do if he doesn't stay? This should be scaring the everloving shit out of you.
Not that males aren't more violent in general but girls can be just as much, see:
- Jasmine Richardson
- Crystal Howell
- Heather Mack
- Isabella Guzman
- Whitehead Twins
- Jennifer Pan
To name a few, most of them from normal or loving homes.
Jesus, I literally wrote males are more violent? I know this.
I was just pointing out that there are cases where girls kill their parents too.
Murder by a girl isn't just as violent as murder by a guy?
Probably my wording is wrong, but that's not what I meant - I meant girls can be just a violent to their parents.
would listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks help you? I have trouble falling asleep a lot of the time, end up lying in bed for hours thinking about every shitty thing I've ever done/said and just ugh. So I started distracting my brain with lighthearted let's plays or audiobooks, so I can focus on that rather than thinking my own shitty thoughts, and it really helps me trick my brain into relaxing and falling asleep. Idk if that would help you at all though.
but yeah if it's messing with you badly, I think it's wise to see a doctor, or even like a sleep psychologist about it.
Yeah I agree, it'd be super unlikely for you to have a violent child either way.
I guess I'm just uncomfortable by people thinking girls are harmless because I went to school with a girl who killed her best friend and it stuck with me (not the same as parents I know).
My estranged sister messaged me again after not talking to me for a few years and all the text contains is a list of items she left at home and wants me to give to her. Most of the items are things she didn't like any more and gave to me, presented as "gifts" and that she would invoke when she wanted me to do something for her.
This is the third time in the 6 years since she cut contact with our parents that she's contacted me, and all three times were only to ask me to give things to her (most of which are actually mine). Everytime I get so anxious and angry. It took me so long to realise she's a textbook narcissist ; she bullied my mother into attempting suicide, bullied me into bulimia, falsely accused my dad of molesting her so she could hurt my mom, reconciled with my mom's abusive dad who killed her mom so she could spite her, and that's only a fraction of what she's done. And she's never going to get punished for any of this. She got away with all of this and way more, and I know she's still abusing people and that they are completely fooled by her, like I was. When I think that one day she might have kids, maybe even a daughter that she might emotionally torture like she did to me, I want to throw up.
I can't believe that after 6 years she'd still fucking ask me for the Gameboy Colour she stopped playing almost 15 years ago and Linkin Park CDs, which she'd given to me years before she left. Why would she never apologise to me for all that she's done and only fucking contact me for Linkin Park CDs ?
Also to add idk what I’d do if he left for good…probably spiral back into old ways
Who fucking knows I guess it doesn’t matter anyway
Have a great day :-)
aw, you're okay babe. please don't beat yourself up about it, you were just trying something new.
i know i've sent nudes i that i regretted, but life goes on
I understand this feeling anon; it's okay. I sent nudes for the first time last year, and I don't see myself as the type to do it either. I was feeling lonely, and after the severalth guy asking for nudes, I finally caved in hopes the person would stick around longer and listen to me. We often try new things when something isn't working for us. There's no shame in that. You're an adult, no one is going to be disappointed in you for doing what you want with your own body, or who and what you communicate with, nor figuring out what you do and don't like. We learn and grow. If anyone makes you feel bad for that, they're likely abusive
and you should out them out of your life.
I have thin, curly hair that's subject to split ends and frizz so I get where you're coming from.
My hair has grown out a bit so people comment how they allegedly like my curly hair, but clearly they think it more kempt and professional when I straighten it. Even when I want it curly I need to add a buttload of product, but not too much lest it becomes greasy, but even then it has a mind of its own most days.
same. and honestly, i just treat it like straight hair and blow it dry straight with a nozzle after every wash (which is like 2x a week) after waiting for it to mostly air dry. my hair looks nice and straight and shiny when i do this and most people don't even know i have curly hair. idk if this would work for everyone though, my hair is very thick and long.
i don't even think curly hair looks good, even when it's well cared for. it's too much maintenance for something i think is inferior to straight hair no matter what.
i fucking hate my curly hair too. everyone says they "wishes they had it" but they don't. not what i have. it turns into these ugly poodle-style ringlets. i'm extra embarrassed about it because i was a socially awkward kid up to junior high and let my mom style it, she thought the curls were sooo cute and would put tons of product in them everyday and basically make me wear it like that to school
i rebelled so fucking hard i ended up shaving a mohawk onto myself when i got to highschool and she lost her mind. i will never forget how fucking stupid i looked with my curls like that and i hate them extra out of spite. i think theyre hideous
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I have to wait at least 48 hours before I find out if I’ve had a heart attack and the chances are of having had one are abnormally high.
Yeah I know. I think I just stopped paying attention to the amount I was eating due to me having been happy I'm good at something, plus I was feeling really safe in my relationship because my boyfriend is really lovely to me and I kinda just have been eating whenever I felt like it instead of barely eating due to anxiety unless I was talking to my guy.
I do need to do some exercise though and yoga can be pretty calming. And I'm eating less calorie-rich food and trying to drink more water. My boyfriend is really supportive and is positive I can lose it, and he's even taken to not snacking as much, in solidarity with me so it's really not too bad.
Mostly binge-drinking myself into psychosis and psychosis in general. I started experiencing it more and more the older I got (to the point my doctor is willing to bump me to the "shizophrenic" category). After I tried to kill myself in a fit of psychosis she distanced herself. I can understand why, but without her I'm worse. Way worse. I depended on her too much.
She still sends me pictures of cute knives so maybe she's not lost, just really needs a breather. I feel like I've been smothering her all these years.
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Nah, I like knives. They are aesthetic. She also is a knife enthusiast. We bonded over that too. Both a little bit edgy and into weapons.
They don't trigger
me at all, they never triggered
me even when I used to cut myself.
Knives are just… our thing, I guess?
I've never been violent and never tried to slit my wrists in earnest, so I don't mind knives sent to me at all.
Which reminded me of another story about me, knives and psychosis. One time my shithead ex made me do 2c-b and I got fixated on a particular knife. It was engraved and ornate and the very tip of it was broken off. So I couldn't take my eyes or hands off it. He got me sitting in a corner, obsessively stroking a knife. After that night he said to me that he was afraid I'd stab him or myself/someone and that's why he isolated me from everyone else. But it was just a very pretty fucking knife. I fixate on things a lot and he should have known. Just… Came here to cry about the love of my life mostly leaving me, ended up coming out as a knife fetishist. What am I doing with my life…
Not exactly the point, anon. I understand that you two are edgy, but the principle is that as the accountable, sane party, you don't send your loved ones that are severely mentally ill anything that can be remotely triggering
because of the association with violence/self harm/suicidal thoughts. Whether or not you, personally, are literally triggered
by it is irrelevant. When you're dealing with mentally ill and unstable people that you love, you err on the side of caution, you know, because they're unstable and unpredictable, and you care for their wellbeing? Anything that can remotely spur a potentially harmful train of thought shouldn't be sent to a mentally ill loved one, even if it's aesthetic and a bonding thing.
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I liked these “leaked” ones from last night before the direct, rip waterbear germ dreams. I also hate how grass and water have cuter shorter names and Fire is basically just FIRERABBIT
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i wanted perry the platypus to be true but tardigrade would be so cute too!
see, there are like so many options to pick for starter inspirations but instead we get YET ANOTHER monkey, a boring rabbit, and whatever the fuck sobble is supposed to be, im guessing some sort of salamander thing which we already had in mudkip.
every game the starters just disappoint me more and more. i feel like the grass pokemon are the only ones that are sort of ok (rowlet is still one of my top favs) but they blew it with ANOTHER grass monkey in..england, of all places.
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also sorry but I feel like these two are too similar? I know there’s only so much you can do
when there’s this many pokemon but you can’t tell me that their back sprites aren’t going to be close
but….what could i possibly feel inferior about? im doing real well for my age
his ex has an inferiority complex and used to feverishly comment on all his posts on facebook so that i would see them
i dont have a problem with min wage workers whatsoever and im not gonna argue with u about this but…
which landlords accept dignity as rent payment?
Are you though? Everyone your age is getting a degree, and stripping is a step down from working at Mcdonalds. A dealbreaker for a lot of men, in fact.
Being pretty isn't everything and maybe you had one of the few men who prioritize other things over looks. You should have known better than to come here bragging about your looks and expecting sympathy.
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man that stripper moron sure made a fucking joke out of herself lol, why would u post a pic of yourself and brag on an imageboard like are u retarded? she easily looks like she could be a cow herself
i'm seeing someone much better looking now but im just upset that i was a kid and didnt entirely understand what was going on and i was groomed by a predator i guess i feel that i lost a piece of my soul
the intent of my original post was to explain how i was groomed and abused by an older man i understand it coulda been worded more tactfully
ive now noted for the future that strippers get no sympathy here, i'll excuse myself
I don't understand how you were groomed by him if you just dated and he left you for someone else. If you did get groomed you're really not explaining your story well.
Also, as someone else has said, the issue isn't that you're a stripper, it's your whole "uwu beautiful model so much better than lowly burger-flippers" shtick.
You didn't mention anything about being groomed and abused in the original post in this thread. If that's the case, then that's sad, but you didn't mention that. You went on a rant about how you can't believe
he left you for his ugly ex gf with a minimum wage job.
Thank you for bearing with me, anons. I included this in another post that was referenced earlier so I apologise for omitting this info>i was 17 he was 24>we met online when i was 13>shoved me in the first week of dating and then broke down in tears saying it was his exes fault for abusing him and making him this way>compared me to his exes all the time>'she does this better than you etc'>'u cant make me feel less suicidal like she can' (as if its my job to fix him)>told me we werent dating so he could text his exes in front of me>spent tons of money on this NEET loser, ps4, red dead 2, all our dates>kept threatening to get together with his friend and invite her over to share his bed>flirted with friend in front of me>lost his shit when i told him that would really upset me>"why are you making me CHOOSE between you god you're SUCH an manipulator">"i dont OWE you anything i dont owe you monogamy">bitched about how awful this ex was all the time, broke down in tears saying she raped and destroyed him, told me she's terrible, a loser, pizza girl, etc etc>and then in the grand finale, leaves me for her>hacked into my fb and read my messages and STILL hacks into my fb even though we broke up 6 weeks ago
I just want to say im sorry the original post was worded tactlessly I see why it's made some folks upset. I just wanted to vent.
When you put it like that I can see how young you were at 13, and he being 20 - that's disgusting and good that it has ended. He sounds real shit (side note: that's weird that his ex is mid 30s considering).
The issue with your post was the bragging about how successful you are and how you're "-very- pretty" (that's just not relevant and subjective - makes you should insufferable).
Even worse was bringing down the other girl, unless she knew he was in a relationship?
Glad you're in a nice relationship now. There is more to you as a person than looks and money. I'm sure you are lovely in other ways though.
Think of the super complex password and write it down.
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>>380307>biggest furfag bait since delphox
it's already happening, I'm sorry…
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I cannot scratching scabs off of my head. It’s been this way for 15 years. Sucks.
>>379462>I won't go into any of this because tl;dr.
Please do anon, this is a vent thread. I'm curious as to what makes women not want sex outside of rape and CSA.
>I doubt he would care if it was the same for me
I sort of doubt this. Men have a way of thinking about virgins. It's why they rape 12 year olds.
The problem is in how you worded it dude….like when someone comes on here and says something like "im so pretty im a stripper and i have a degree im superior to people based on these things" of course youre gonna get shit on.
Next time you want advice, try being a little bit more humble! its not that novel of a concept and doesnt make anyone here a ~swerf~ or whatever. This isnt tumblr.
mkay all these posts are me, I talked to my sister the day after I lost my money and vented to her about how shit my day was. (dropping money, headache all day, vomiting all over my bed from naproxen, etc)
I've been up all night tonight because my head hurts too much to fall asleep and when my mom came downstairs to get ready for bed, she handed me a letter. It was from my sister across the country (I'm on the east coast, she's on the west coast) and she mailed me the money I had lost plus 10 more dollars just to cheer me up and tell me I only deserve wonderful things to happen to me. I'm legit crying on the bathroom floor rn because I love her so much and this is exactly what I needed to hear right now, I've been contemplating ending it just to make the pain stop (and bc I'm generally fucked up) and I just ugh it's like idk she just made everything bearable again. Just feeling super grateful to have someone so thoughtful and supportive in my life.
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Spergs like this are why many threads are nearly unreadable.
Job centres are hit and miss, OP, you're certainly not alone in hating them. It's been a while since I've had to go to one luckily but the one where I live is generally OK, the people are relatively easygoing and understanding. My friend got a bad one though, full of overworked, rushed pen-pushers who didn't listen to a word she said. It's luck of the draw, unfortunately.
A word of advice though: Consider asking them if there are any volunteer positions. They will eventually try to push you into one of these anyway, but if you ask early you'll get more opportunity to pick and choose one that's not totally shit. If you wait then they'll just force you into one, and you won't have any choice unless you want them to suspend your benefits. I chose to ask for one and got a pretty good gig doing social media for a local dentist. Didn't pay shit so it was annoying to do it, but at least it was something relevant to my field I could put down on my CV. My brother waited and ended up having to do retail in the grimiest shop in the city, because it was the bottom of the barrel and nobody had picked it.
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Trying to find roommates in a new city fucking sucks so much.
The last one I went to was a fucking surprise "group viewing" of their tiny ass house, and I had to view the room with SIX other people (because of course the other retards brought their fucking friends along? Why the fuck do you need your friend to come if they're not renting the room?).
I could barely talk to the actual people that lived there because there was so many people and awkwardness happening at the same time.
I said two fucking times I want to move in for March 1st (like they said was possible) but surprise, they still haven't gotten back to me, so I'll have to rent ANOTHER month at this airbnb (which is over an hour away from these places) sucking away even more of my savings (because I can't get a job yet until I know what area I'm kind of living in).
Fuck I just feel like I'm going crazy. It's awkward as fuck staying in this airbnb and it's so far out that without a car, I just end up staying inside all day because I'm afraid to tap into my savings.
I'm so tired of just endlessly consuming media and staying in my bed, but I'm so dependent on waiting for these people to fucking respond to me, so I can actually go outside and start planning.
I agree with this anon's advice.
Also go to the Citizen's Advice Bureau if you can, and ask them to help you with your applications. PIP in particular often rejects people at first, and you end up needing to appeal. My uncle got rejected for PIP because they said there was nothing stopping him working a normal job. My uncle has had both arms amputated at the elbow.
So you might need to appeal, and CAB can help with that.
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Only a retarded American can look at this and start reeing about blackface it's an unfortunate design that could be interpreted as such but screaming racist crackas is the equivalent of people getting mad at buddhist swastikas at Asian temples
i mean. it does look like blackface lmfao
the company probably did it on purpose to generate discussion
especially if they're based in america
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Do you have a good pillow? I recommend an orthopedic pillow, I have this one from Ikea. We spend 1/3 of our life sleeping, so this might be useful.
I’m getting Universal Credit, I know there are some differences (especially in qualifying, which fucked me over when I tried to claim while still employed). I hope that doesn’t make me even more screwed because people have nothing but bad things to say about UC. This advice is sound but I’ll need to check if UC lets me claim anything from those other two things but I suspect they’re mutually exclusive. They actually sent me a letter about being randomly chosen for an interview on how the service has helped me to see how they could improve the department (fucking lol) and I wonder if that had anything to do with remembering to give me an appointment.
The thing about CBT is that I’ve gone through two batches of it in different places and whenever I leave, I just fuck up and go back to the way I was before learning the things to manage my depression+anxiety symptoms. Maybe it’s my own damn fault for only asking that specifically because I always think there’s not enough time to cover the deeper shit I never got to talk about to anyone. Without sounding like I’m doctor shopping I want to push for some kind of diagnosis to reaffirm and help me target this BS because, even now, I’ve never gotten anything on paper. I don’t know how to ask for an assessment (and from who?), it’s fucking confusing when my GP will write me prescriptions and refer me for CBT but at some point I remember being declined to be referred to a specialist and I don’t know why.
I always found these not to be so comfy, but I absolutely love the memory foam cluster pillows. Firm and cool. If you're in the USA, they cost only $8 at Walmart.
I also like the bamboo pillows, I think they're the same thing actually.
PIP is independent of UC. It isn't even means tested and you can get it even if you work. You will probably need to appeal because the DWP does this to everyone, even people that are dying of cancer or are severely disabled. Don't give up because the appeal tribunal will probably find in your favour. This does take a year but you get back paid from the original claim date.
The difference in the assessment between UC and ESA is minimal, it's still the work capability assessment. The thing to remember with this is that the assessors are grossly incompetent (look into atos and unum healthcare if you want more on this). The DWP uses the opinion of the assessor to build a case as to why you aren't accepted for benefit. Never accept the first decision of the DWP unless it's in your favour. What you need to do is build your own case as to why you deserve the benefit by using your own medical records as evidence. You can request these from your GPs surgery usually for free.
There is a list of descriptors for the work capability assessment, each of these descriptors has a certain number of points associated with it. To get the benefit you need enough points.
An example>Activity 16 - Coping with social engagement due to cognitive impairment or mental disorder.>Part 16(b)>Engagement in social contact with someone unfamiliar to the claimant is always precluded due to difficulty relating to others or significant distress experienced by the claimant
If this does apply to you, the assessor is likely to deny it for some bullshit reasons like you made eye contact during the assessment and were dressed normally. The DWP will side with the assessor, so what you need to do is prove that this does apply to you by using medical evidence from your medical records and present this to the DWP. Do this for all the descriptors that apply to you. Even if the DWP still refuses, you can take this evidence to the appeals tribunal.
>Without sounding like I’m doctor shopping I want to push for some kind of diagnosis to reaffirm and help me target this BS because, even now, I’ve never gotten anything on paper
If I were you I'd ask to see a psychiatrist. Also don't worry about the paper work, all the correspondence between your GP and the people they've referred you to will be in your medical records. Check what the procedure is in your area because some health authorities allow you to self refer for mental health services.
Situation was quite weird, he tends to make weird sexist jokes and that often get on my nerves. But other than that, we had a lot in common. Our talks were nice and he was first person in years that i felt so much connection with. I don't want to give up on him because of that situation.
I will try contact with him in a few days, it's better if both of us gonna calm for now. Then i hope we gonna talk a little at least, i don't want to end frienship in that way.
Also, after years of living alone i'm quite bad at making any realtions with people.
Still, thanks anon, it still worries me but i hope it gonna turn out good. You also, have a nice day!
short white girl here and i feel you, anon.
for what it's worth, my ex boyfriend is now dating a much taller, dark-skinned girl and they seem very happy together. we keep in touch and it kind of burned me when i saw them together because he looked at her in a way he never looked at me.
not gonna deny that society privileges whiteness and shortness because i know it does and plenty of men buy into that shit, but men with a functioning brain and eyes can see past it, and know a woman worth their time when they see one, even when she's not the blond bombshell magazines tell them they should be with. i'm rooting for you.
Today we've got new neighbours: She's only 24, but already has two children, 1 and 5 years old.
After seeing her, the first thing my mother said to me was "Omg, she's so skinny and young-looking, you look sooo old next to her! haha".
Why does she do that? It's not the first time, she also said I look just as old as her cousin, who's also a mother and already over 30. Does she not get that this hurts me? Or is it even on purpose?
Meanwhile she herself always cries on her birthdays and is very sensitive to comments about her age.
The worst thing is, I also saw her and she's probably lolcows dream, lookwise: 5ft, 90lbs, dollface, looks 14.
TL;DR my mom keeps calling me old and I'm pathetic enough to be jealous of a former teen mom.
But lots of men also talk about liking tall girls and how they are better to have kids with. I will never understand the victim
complex either short or tall women have, and I see that complex for both reasons - not wanting to be fetishized or not feeling fetishized enough. Men are shallow assholes but you will never run out of guys who specifically prefer your height or lack thereof. Maybe absolute midgets or amazons will have more trouble but being above or below average is not a big deal.
This. It's not a big deal.
But this reminds me, I remember at college hanging with my friend at his male uni house and overhearing some of the guys there - talking about short girls being for fucking, tall girls for breeding so they can pass on their genetics.
Made me feel sick.
What do you know how to cook? When was the last time you cooked anything?
What's your daily activities like on a day to day basis and when do you work?
Your mum’s a bitch. Point out how much older she must look compared to neighbour girl if you’re so ancient compared to her.
You probably don’t even look old.
Thank you anon, this reply was very nice of you. You actually made me feel a bit better.
I hope you find a person that looks at you the way your ex looks at her now! If you already haven't.>>381572
I was thinking more along the lines of men almost always preferring to date women shorter than they are, moreso than very short women in general being preferred.
Perhaps the issue is also that I love turbomanlets (aforementioned man is 5'2") and they can be even weirder about such things. I recall on our date he seemed upset when I kept walking faster than him because my legs are longer lol.
Also in the end I know I shouldn't be upset that people have preferences, since I have my own and maybe I'm being hypocritical here (which makes me feel worse). Like the reasons >>381573
stated are similar to why I like short men, so what gives me permission to be bitter about men preferring short(er than them) women? Right?
It just seemed that most men are in that boat, but perhaps that's not actually true. I'll keep going and hope to find another weird reverse-height-difference fetishist lol.
I know you think she looks ideal for a mom anon, but I promise you that the looks do nothing for the ugly insecurities she has about aging.
She's likely saying these things without consciously hearing how they sound, because in her mind she's relentlessly reeling over age. She thinks about it all the time so it slips out in her dialogue.
Is she actually comparing you to others? Yes. And that's not okay. Tell her how awful that makes you feel and that you'd prefer to not hear such things.
Don’t worry, those guys will never have a fullfiling relationships, if they had a relationship at all. Imagine dating some creep who drops comments about your height and genes - and trust me, just like foot fetishists, they won’t be able to hide it for long.
As for me, I had pretty nightmare work experience.
Cousin recommended me, the people there kept promising me contract but there wasn’t one in sight, then when I saw the template of it, it was made so it would use me max, some laws that weren’t to be applied for my position were added in, the paid vacation time was less than one fucking euro, the minimum wage was that of an old law, the lady wanted to put down that I’m working 3rd of my work time to avoid taxes, she demanded I work overtime for less than minimum wage + promised bonus if she sees “im putting in effort”, the old lady from her in-laws working/helping there was terrorizing me, saying she raises her voice at me because that’s how humans react the best, like a child or a dog when you yell at them, she was judging my dress choices, thinking my layers of clothes in the middle of winter make me look fat, asking if my parents taught me anything….
The employer lady ran to the store when I sent her message in which I stated the minimum wage has changed and asked her where in the contract it was written about my rights and duties - and she started hurling at me, asking who do I think I am, demanding so much as a beginner, how she doesn’t have the money, etc.
I was their seller, floor mopper, toilet cleaner, coffee maker, errand girl and courier.
I started snapping when granny was forcing me to clean cable powerbox with wet rag, and finally snapped when she the next day accused me of being a liar for saying I cleaned the rag I was using (she didn’t find it clean enough) and being a liar is worst I can do. I had nervous breakdown, told her they have inhumane circumstances, I don’t want to work somewhere when they don’t allow me to go out for break during 9 hours of work, how they need inspection called on them etc and I stormed out.
I call today during work time - no answer. I call after work time to ask to be paid and the lady’s husband answers saying how she’s sick and to deal with him. I state why I’m calling and he say he doesn’t think I deserve to be paid. I say ok bye.
Lmao @ the whole thing
Can’t you talk to your mom about it? Try to explain to her that this is basically animal abuse. You can also tell her that the cat will display behavioural problems sooner or later because she has no-one to interact with. If "spilling water" (wtf) is problematic
for her already, wait until the cat starts scratching the walls, meowing all the time, perhaps even hurting herself (e.g., cats with hospitalism often lick their fur so much that they don’t have any fur left at some point). If nothing works, try kidnapping the poor cat. My parents used to have turtles and their home was a bit too small. I carefully explained it to them and showed them how the turtles would suffer in the long run. They eventually gave them to someone with a huge garden and they are way better now. Please do something about it, anon!
Have a look at the rules, threads are dying because farmers posts are not up to high standards for whatever fucking reason.
Even tho we're all anon and this is an image board culture we're only allowed to discuss cows in Proper English and only if there is 'milk'. And what you think is milk might not be up to the high standards of others. Apparently admin doesn't want to censor topics but heavily discourage most discussion. She can't be running a mean board that nitpicks others, that's bullying uwu
Ask for an IP check if you have to lol. And chill the fuck out.
I might look into PIP again, just in case they ever take UC away from me. It’s just that all of it is so exhausting and daunting, I’m sorry to push away your advice, I’m afraid to go through it again. I did try for PIP a year before UC and gave up very easily after they denied my shit.
There seems to be only one service in my area that’s under psychiatric therapy when I looked it up in an NHS directory, I’ve already been there, maybe I’m mistaken but they only really offered mainly group therapy and individual CBT. It’s been a while but what was explained to me came across like a small warning that ‘yeah we’re not qualified in the way you’re thinking but rest assured we take uni courses so we don’t fuck you up’.
I’m honesty this close to packing everything up, throwing it away or selling it and then killing myself out of tactical decision because this is a slow-ass death as it is. This isn’t the confession thread but in times like this I wish someone else could ‘save’ me without enabling me.
My brother is a rampant sexist and I can't take it anymore.
My little sister wanted to participate in Girls Day - a career information day created to encourage girls to pursue jobs in e.g. science.
Cue my brother: "But what about the boys?!" Boys Day exists as well and you know that. Then I said that even nowadays the wealthiest, most influential people are all men and that only recently young women have also started pursuing these careers, meanwhile nothing would have stopped men from pursuing traditionally female jobs, they just didn't want to, because they're considered low class and ar badly paid. "So, you're saying that these women have it worse than all the men who are construction workers?!" …?
My brother wants to be a priest and whenever I point out that this is a job that I as a woman wouldn't even be allowed to do simply because of my gender and that there's no job a man isn't allowed to do, he just yells that I wouldn't even want to be a priest anyways, completely dismissing that even if i wanted, I wouldn't have the chance to.
For the first time ever my mother also defended my sister and I, but accidentally said he's much more " racist" than we are, instead of saying he's "sexist". Then he immediately starts again, saying so many priests were killed by the nazis, because they shielded normal people during the holocaust blah, blah.
And whenever we watch the news and there are reports about priests abusing children him (and my mother) are making excuses, that people are using it to hate on the church, that teachers and people with other jobs are also pedophiles and so on.
There's nothing I could ever say to win any argument with him. He's extremely tall, has a very loud and deep voice and loves to use that to his advantage.
Maybe I'd be willing to say that in my country women are no longer oppressed in 2019 - but not until you quit insisting that somehow men have it sooo much worse.
Anon, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this idiot.
Of course he wants to be a fucking priest, out of all the engaging and probably more useful work out there for a man. Have you told him it’s not a very interesting job and it’s not as rewarding as the church likes to portray it as? Or is he just in it for the power tripping and status symbol?
Your housemate sounds like an insecure retard, at least from this incident. Idk him so won't make a full judgement.
It's just accurate to say that you're the one taking your bf out rather than him taking you out if you're paying. He probably thinks women saying "I'm fucking him" to be sexism too. Surprise, women are human and therefore are active participants in a relationship and not passive objects. Fucking piece of shit, making his roommate feel bad for being nice to her partner
God for some reason this really angered me lol. I'm pissed off in your place, anon.
Are you handling the transportation and paying for the night's entertainment? Then yes, you are taking him out. That's traditionally the man's job and that's probably got him feeling all pissy and insecure.
Now, if your boyfriend thought about the situation for five friggin seconds he could just play it off to other guys as if he is so smooth that women have to pursue him.
Imagine whining about someone you care about and occasionally fuck paying money to spend time with you because you don't like the way it sounds. Also, fuck your housemate for blabbing and starting this drama.
fuck I'm >>381922
and didn't realize it was her boyfriend who was saying that it made him feel bad. No reading comprehension because I was seeing red I guess whoops.
It's still fucking stupid. If he wants to be a tradfag then he should have said so sooner.
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Soon it will be a year since I've talked with my formerly close friend. They always kinda come and go into my life/out of my life. I know it's like, I can talk to them too, I don't have to wait to be contacted. But I think that if someone can go this long without me, then they don't want nor need me as a friend. And same goes for me.
You could say it's a dying friendship, a sad thing to happen but nothing shocking. People grow up and change.
What pisses me off is - we have a common friend, I'll call him Max. And the ghost-friend, they wouldn't contact Max either and Max claimed that he doesn't care, he had enough of Ghost's bullshit. And now I learnt that Ghost contacted Max and they're talking, and Max just randomly inserts Ghost into out own conversations… like to flex on me that he talks with them? I don't know, it's weird.
I'm, uh, jealous. Surprisingly, not for Ghost, but for Max. For years I'm here for his ass, good or bad, but Ghost reemerges out of nowhere and Max is already under their spell.
It pisses me off. Sometimes I feel like no one appreciates me so I guess that's why it bothers me this much. Like, if you're a good person, a caring friends that can be counted on, it's nice but you're boring. If you're unstable, treat others bad, humiliate them to seem funny and quirky, you're a shit person but you're interesting. And people will always choose you over the boring goodie-goodie.
I know I sound whiney, my apologies, just had to get it off my chest.
have you told max that you feel like your friendship is failing? or that you wish you spent more time with them like they do ghost? this communication needs to go both ways. maybe max doesnt know how the space between you two is really getting to you.
but imo youre reading way too much into it. i talk to literally no one from highschool even though a few of us had spent the last 10 years together and even through my 20s some people that i had gotten close went off and did their own things. we are lucky if we can speak a few times a year because of being busy with work and family. social dynamics definitely change when people get older and have more going on.
i have found the best connections i have with people are when we both mutually understand that we are all busy and will get together when we can. it makes it easier to appreciate and enjoy the time together since we arent being bitter about things that cant be helped.
>>381956>have you told max that you feel like your friendship is failing?
I don't feel like this. It's just… I'm a bit angry he let Ghost back into his life. Ghost wasn't a good friend to him and he said he's done with them, and yet here we are. He kind of shoves it in my face also, I think because he used to be jealous about me and Ghost being closer. It's all childish, I know.
I'm the same with my old high school friends. Same goes for uni and work friends. But those two are a different group, we go waaay back. Like, there are friends and Friends
. If, for example, Max (or any other of my Friends) would not talk to me for two days, I would be scared something happened to them. You get it? Those kind of people that are the closest to you, know stuff others don't, those that you uptade about your daily life etc. So Ghost was like this, but they drifted apart and it was probably for the best. I just hate how they feel they can show up whenever and expect everyone to welcome them with open arms. And that Max always does exactly this.
I know it sounds like I am reading too much into it, but I'm just venting and it sounds like a big deal. It's not. Ghost will be probably gone in like a week anyway
>>382000>Ghost wasn't a good friend to him and he said he's done with them, and yet here we are. He kind of shoves it in my face
i dont blame you for being angry.. thats really shitty. especially since you have been more loyal. you obviously care about him.
i had a friend like that too. i get where youre coming from. told my buddy to leave their old friend in the past because they knew his wife was cheating on him for over a year and got engaged to the guy while still married and the wife was spreading rumors about him being the cheater. hes friends with them again and thats bullshit because i was there settling the fights between him and his wife and shit got nasty..
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Someone please tell me if I'm in the wrong here.
>run into person i knew from high-school at their job
>they call my name & say 'HEY' in a really peppy voice
>i sort of say 'hello' over my shoulder & walk off with my stuff
Was this terribly wrong of me? We weren't friends at all, and I'm pretty sure I left a bad impression on them?
All of my memories of this person are relatively positive though, like they weren't a bully or overly rude or anything.
I didn’t realize how much I still miss my grandmother until today. I bought a sample of one of her favorite perfumes, Fracas, and I can’t believe how much it smells like her…it’s like she’s right here in the room with me now. I thought I had forgotten how it smelled, but all the memories just came flooding back to me.
She was my best friend in a way I’ve never had. Her birthday is December 5th, and she died in late spring, around my birthday. May/June are difficult months for me, because I think about the last moments I spent with her up until she died. I’ve never been able to love anyone as much as I loved her. I’ve never had a friend the way she was my friend. We were very alike in many ways, even though she was so much older than me. She was one of the few people who never judged me, and who listened to me, and I did the same for her.
It hasn’t been that long since she passed either. It feels like it was 10 years ago, when it was actually more around 4 1/2, going on 5 this June. I never really let myself grieve over her death. I never talked about her dying, I avoided any memory of her up until recently. But I started having dreams about her at the end of 2018. Then for some reason, when Lagerfeld died it was like I lost something of her again. She loved fashion, and I remember her telling me about designers like Dior, Saint Laurent, Lagerfeld, Lacroix, Miyake. We did so much together, and now she’s gone.
I realize that maybe I made a mistake not grieving for her. I wonder if I had admitted how much she meant to me, would I have struggled so much in college? Is that why I was so angry with god (I was raised Christian), why I’ve had so many failed friendships, so many nights where I just lay in bed wondering what my life means? I realize there’s this huge gaping whole of emptiness that my friendship with my grandmother left in me. I want to love someone the way I loved her. I miss her so much. I’m probably going to buy a bigger bottle of Fracas since it makes me feel like she’s right there beside me.
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I have a huge crush on a guy who was my professor last semester. He's a PhD student in his late 20s and I'm 25, so there isn't a significant age gap. I won't go into too much detail but he did me a huge favour and broke some rules for me that could've gotten him in serious trouble if anyone found out. Also we've hung out socially, confided in each other about personal stuff, and there has been some mutual flirtation between us. A friend of mine had him as a TA several years ago and told me that he casually dated a girl who was a student of his (once the class had ended). All of these things give me some hope that our friendship could possibly develop into something more, but there are still obstacles that make me think twice.
He lives a few hours away and has no reason to come back to my city anytime soon. He's incredibly smart and articulate and knowledgeable and I feel like a bit of a simpleton in comparison, even though I've excelled academically and achieved a lot. We're both struggling with our mental health, having experienced great loss recently (the death of a friend for me and the end of a relationship for him), and I know from experience that two very depressed people in a relationship tend to bring each other down rather than lift each other up.
I kind of want to make a move and ask him out for drinks or something but I've never asked a guy out before. Usually I assume that if a guy is interested in me, he'll do something about it. Maybe I'm a bit traditional in that sense. But it's been years since I've felt such a strong attraction to someone and I think about him all the time. I guess the problem is that I'm scared to let someone in and get hurt again. All relationships end in sorrow, either with death or rejection or cheating or whatever. Part of me wonders if it's even worth it. Part of me wants to see if it is. Mostly I'm unsure of how to proceed.
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I'm so sick of people talking about games like they're super duper important.
Sports, vidya, card games, etc. Idgaf, unless their living is somehow affected by these games then it's pathetic how people get so emotionally invested in unimportant shit that were only ever meant to be fun hobbies.
The next time someone starts whining to me about how their hobby isn't fun anymore I'm going to tell them to either pump the brakes or find something else. No adult wants to perpetually hear about this nonsense.
>mfw spergy neckbeard friend starts talking about changes to MtG as if it's life or death
And allow me to take this moment to say: I don't give a fuck. A game could disappear tomorrow and people would find something else to do.
I've never noticed that, except specifically terf bangs because people see them more often on SJWs than terfs.
I have a normal sized forehead but I still look ugly af without bangs, people can dislike them all they want but at least they won't confuse me for a man when I have them
I've had a friend send me a post before saying "ask a girl with bangs about your astrological sign if you don't know wtf it means" and there's that entire art hoe haircut meme.
And I mean, definitely don't change it if it's preferable. I'm not either out of fear of looking like an egg. It's just a dumb thing to assign meaning to and it annoyed me for a hot second lol.
>>381806>It’s just that all of it is so exhausting and daunting, I’m sorry to push away your advice
Don't worry about it. I went through a lot of what you're going through when I first had to claim benefit. I was depressed from being in constant pain for years and I couldn't take being at college any more. Being young I had this dumb idea that if I asked nicely and followed the rules my own government would help me get better. They of course didn't. Atos and the DWP put me through a year of hell. I did honestly feel like killing myself during this time, I was in severe pain, I lost any chance of doing what I wanted as a career, I had no way to support myself and I was totally dependent on my grandmother who took me in. I did eventually win the case at the appeals tribunal and was given incapacity benefit. When I was reassessed a few years later for ESA and the DWP did exactly the same as before, rather than getting depressed about it, I got really angry. This is when I learnt how it all worked and how to build a case against the assessors to present to the DWP. The DWP has given me ESA without question ever since. DLA and PIP have unfortunately been another matter.
>what was explained to me came across like a small warning that ‘yeah we’re not qualified in the way you’re thinking but rest assured we take uni courses so we don’t fuck you up’
I remember these types of people. They're not medically trained and read off of a script. I wasted two months of my life trying to explain to one of them that I'm not depressed for the reason she thinks I am, I'm depressed because five days a week I spend six hours laying in a pool of my own vomit because I'm in too much pain to do anything else. I wanted to scream when my GP said that she'd suggested that I had anger management issues. This is the reason I recommended seeing a psychiatrist. They're not counsellors, they're doctors who treat both the neurological and emotional problems behind mental illness.
>I’m honesty this close to packing everything up, throwing it away or selling it and then killing myself out of tactical decision because this is a slow-ass death as it is
If you are feeling like this and your GP still won't listen to you, go to A&E. They will have a mental health team on site that includes a psychiatrist. I discovered just how seriously A&E take any potential mention of suicide when I used the expression "I'm in so much pain I want to kill myself" to describe why I was there. Within an hour I was being given a full mental health assessment.
Sorry for the long post but knowing what ill people have to go through in this country to get help just pisses me of.
Yes, I did write about him before.
After that fight yesterday at lunch he went to his room and hasn't left it, doesn't even come down to eat or drink.
My mother went to him and explained that there's that day for boys as well, that there's nothing to be angry about and that we should just avoid that topic from now on. Then he cried and said that I'm always saying things agaisnt men. She said that he also does the same against women and that this hurts her too.
But then she said to me that it's true, that I'm really too hateful against men. I'm not a lesbian, not in any feminist organisations, I dont frequent the radfem thread here, I even vote conservative, I'm just a normal young woman who sometimes points out unfair or sexist things.
I really don't know what to do anymore. As much as I love my family, lately I often can't wait to move out.
My thoughts exactly. He did a little protest in his room and cried because he knew his mommy would come to comfort him.
I hate to say this but sometimes mothers are just as guilty for fostering and enabling sexist attitudes.
Sadly, i honestly think a ton of mothers are directly responsible for men's sexist views of other women. i used to have an uncle who was in his late 30s and never cooked , cleaned or did his own laundry because his mom did everything for him. She even gave him money weekly to buy whatever he wanted (porn.)
It was disgusting. After she died, he was basically stuck
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I just found out my coworker is a huge Shane dawson fan and it was so random. But later on that day she also told me she was a conspiracy theorist and a flat earther. I just want to avoid her entirely now. Anyone who unironically is a flat earther is just an approachable moron. I don't understand it
The worst part is, she's good friends with the only coworker i like and is trying to make her a conspiracy theorist too.
NTA, but it's very helpful for me to try to replace my uncertain thoughts with positive ones that mirror the negative ones I already have.
Like for instance, you possibly think something must be wrong with you because you've been having a good time for a while, so instead of saying "What if I get a panic attack soon?" I would repeat to myself "What if everything's gonna be okay?" Or "What if nothing is wrong and I'm fine?" Or "So what, if I have a panic attack?"
If you demand your panic to get stronger, it usually doesn't because it wants to get you when you least expect it. Welcome your anxiety to hang out with you. It'll most likely do the opposite.
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I want a gf
or am I supplementing the unreciprocated feelings in my heterosexual relationship for desire elsewhere
Yeah, if you start believing everyone you meet is going to be an incel you might have to accept that you're a little bit impressionable and need to take a break from lolcow. Incels are special basketcases, the majority of people are socially adjusted enough to at least have sex or get into a relationship. I'm fortunate enough to never have come across an obvious incel in the wild, but a lot of the normie men I know tend to be faintly (if not overtly) sexist and douchebaggy in their own right. They don't actively plot the downfall of women on a manic incel-tier level, they're subconsciously biased because that's what they learned from society.
Besides it's college, of course people are going to skew lefty or not speak up if they have any controversial opinions. /pol/tards think liberal colleges are all communist re-education camps and stay away from them or whatever the fuck.
Yeah, you called that one, I literally just found out that I'm pregnant today.
Would probably be the best for all parties involved just to pack my shit and GTFO and get an abortion without telling him, since 'leaving slowly' isn't really an option anymore. Already have a good bit of money saved, just idk how to make the transition between living here → managing to get a job and apartment somewhere else in a more affordable part of the country.
It's probably weird that I feel absolutely nothing about any of this. Coming to realize that I'm a pretty shitty person.
I know I'm just stupid and cant follow good advice.>>381942
Long story short I had a fling with a coworker of mine last summer then I started seeing someone else seriously. Moved states with new partner around the new year and coworker and I still stayed 'friends' once I started seeing my current boyfriend. Everything was normal up until a month ago and hes been really choosy in when he wants to talk to me. I dont go out of my way to message him anymore but I'd like for him to not be weird about it. But I guess its understandable in this circumstance. I don't think I have any interest in him anymore but I would also like my old bad habits to not come back where I go into something unhealthy just because "its fun". I feel like he might have some feelings for me still since he can't go about a week without saying something to me and my old coworkers mention to me he talks about me.
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my mom's only being nice and supportive of me now after 20+ years of narcissistic abuse and neglect because she's realizing the state of her own mortality (she's old + has a birthday soon.)
it's insincere and honestly feels self-serving but if she's finally going to act like she loves me, i'll take it. i never received maternal affection from her and it made me very fucked-up in the head.
sure do wish things weren't so fucking dysfunctional. my kingdom for a normal cookie-cutter hallmark movie family where a mom is present and loving and invested because she's a normal mom, and not because she's trying to "get right with god" before she dies.
My mom was like that too but we're finally on good terms now and it feels real to me regardless of the motive behind her change. It's like I have two moms, the evil one and the good one.
I recall when I had a surgery as a kid and my mom made me walk to the doctor when I was just released from the hospital despite her having the time to drive me to there (she was watching a shitty tv show). Now, if I tell her I have a slight headache she will drive to my place and shower me with affection. It's almost surreal the extent she's changed.
There's this guy that I talked with more than 5 years ago. We went out once (as friends, just for a walk) but he must have thought it was some magical date because he completely changed his tune, started to be cringily romantic for no reason etc. So even though we were okay friends and I liked him, I was weirded out and distanced myself. Everything kind of died.
BUT he still reemerges from time to time to send me some autistic uwu message or wish me happy birthday and lately he started to tell me about his dreams (he would do that from time to time but it intensified now). They are all very retarded about us hugging, kissing.
I'm on the fence if I should keep on ignoring him - I feel like I shouldn't feed him any attention, even negative. On the other hand I'm starting to get fed up and I'm thinking about telling him off, because still "crushing" on someone you have last seen when they were, idk, 17? is fucking weird, and why on Earth does he think I want to hear about his wet dreams?
So, my fears are
telling him off -> he gets encouraged by attention
ignoring him -> he keeps doing that forever
blocking him etc -> he goes full stalker mode.
Go buy a test Anon, and then you'll know for sure.
Don't drink too much just so you'll pee though, because if it's negative after you've pissed one liter of mostly water you'll get paranoid and tell yourself the test is wrong. Been there, lol.
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no i agree with you 100%! and i do this too, whenever i feel anxious i just tell myself in my head ''çome on, come out, i can take you on'', ''this is just anxiety and nothing ever happend with me''. i also do exposure therapy while i wait for my therapist, i met someone from 4chan nothing too special he was just a normie. but small things such as stepping on a train and going to another city and meeting a stranger is a victory for me how about you? how do you challenge your anxiety in a sense?
You should be totally fine if you're on the kind of pill that has the same hormonal dose in each one. It's the kind where the doses are different where you have to worry.
I would take plan b or a test for the ease of mind, but you are probably gonna be totally fine.
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>>382834>My bf came in me on the day I forgot the pill
You should definitely take a test, but you are probably okay. The pill stops you from ovulating, in addition to just making your uterus an unfriendly place for semen (when you’re fertile your cervical mucus is runny and clear, this doesn’t happen on the pill). Missing one pill usually isn’t enough to cause you to ovulate, but it depends on what kind of pill you’re on and what pill you missed.
For me it's the opposite; I barely know/see anyone without cellulite, had some underweight friends with it. Even my brother has cellulite kek
Anon please don't worry too much, I know how it is and dislike it but most people don't seem to care as much as oneself does.
Maybe there's nothing we can type that will make you feel better in the moment. When you start dating again you will realize that the neglect you went through isn't the norm and isn't something to feel like you had missed out on. Stick up for yourself a bit and push out people from your mind who take advantage of you and disregard your needs for their own selfish desires.
I'm sorry your first didn't work out, but statistically speaking, it doesn't for many. I know mine didn't. Don't worry, there's others out there. You'll scoff over how you ever tolerated the first one's shit, and now you'll have some experience for who to avoid in the future. Time heals wounds.
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>mocked by family about weight when I was young
>this leads to being very self-conscious about body and hesitating to leave house
>"But why anon? You look fine!"
My family really doesn't understand they're the reason why I'm like this. Apparently, they have amnesia and don't remember ever criticizing me about my weight or picking on me about it ever.
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My ex did the same shit to me. After I completely gave up my life in another country and sold all of my shit for him, it turns out, people just say things to say things and their natures never change. Cried, told me how much he loved me, that he would never forget me, I was his best friend, needed to know how I was doing once I got back to my home country etc.
Then when I told him I've been royaly fucked over here and am probably looking at homelessness soon, he got mad at me for upsetting him lol
You need to realize that the man that you have in your thoughts and head isn't real and that's not who he was in reality. Who he was in reality was how he acted in reality . The same man that cried and said he loved you was also the same man that got together with someone a week later. It's a painful truth to fully comprehend and understand, but it's still the truth.
If he wanted to be with you, he would still be with you.
If he wanted to love you and try, he would love you and try.
Don't let your mind run wild with replays of the greatest hits™ from your relationship, because those are unreliable and distorted. You feel for the man in your head, not for the man who he really is. Once you can consolidate that who he is is how he's acting, the feelings will become less intense and more manageable.
Sorry for the long post, I just really feel for you anon and I wish you didn't have to go through men's bullshit lies and charades either. Stay strong.
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I've driven out twice, two hours one way, to see a guy I met online through an ideal partner chat. I'm not complaining; he has a very nice house and he's made it good for me by cooking dinner together and allowing me to sleep over. He's not an asshole or anything, and he seems compassionate whenever we have sex. And I have no bedroom complaints.
Last time I was over he played a Beatles song for me on his acoustic.
Guess I'm just wondering what I am, but it feels too soon to ask. It would be so embarrassing to admit I'm catching feels only for it to turn out that I'm just a high effort booty call. Or worse, "It's not you, it's me, and I'm not ready for a relationship right now." The latter could be an actual thing due to the fact that he divorced several months ago. He texts, but it's rather infrequent. He's a little nerdy quirk and seems quiet so I chalk it up to that.
Another part of me feels majorly inadequate next to him. Truth be told, I haven't been with anyone decent who had their shit together….never ever. This guy has an expensive house, a tech job, comes from a decent-sounding family, top university, etc.
I'm insecure about being mediocre, but apparently he sees something in me. Enough to fuck me I guess, but unless he has a thing for flabsters who are good at makeup it's not like I rock the physique department either.
I'm hoping if maybe things progress I can invite him to drive out here to meet my parents, since I'm living with them as I haven't worked up to living on my own since my last long term relationship ended.
Maybe he's just desperate, idk. I have zero confidence deep down, and since nobody nice has ever taken interest in me my mind is screaming about how it must be too good to be true. I'm bracing for the betrayal to happen any day now.
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>male friend online gets upset when i don't talk to him for months
>when i do talk to him, he doesn't respond or bother to keep the conversation going even though he's online
>i've deleted him multiple times for this (and other little reasons) and each time, he comes crawling back asking why i deleted him and begs me not to do it again
What does this mean? I mean, does he want me to talk to him or not lmao
Is that what it is? We've had good conversations here and there and he can be funny. It's like 50/50 with this dude. I have no problem starting convos with him (like he desperately wants me to) and it ends up with me basically spamming him with no response which is ridiculous. I think he just ignores me in favor of his dude friends but why bother bitching to me about how I don't talk to him for months if he's going to ignore me anyway
I really don't get it