File: 1746574650461.jpg (434.24 KB, 1600x1200, sweetdreams.jpg)
No. 2513893
A thread for venting about difficult, weird, or stupid stuff going on in your life.
Previous vent thread:
>>>/ot/2502439Follow all the /ot/ board rules & do not reply to bait.
Please, do not come to this thread to make fun of anons' vents, to demean them, or to try and be funny with some shit snark reply. It's annoying. If you do not have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. No. 2513946
File: 1746576273672.jpg (32.67 KB, 520x293, 1000028168.jpg)
I always had naturally golden blonde hair. Some time ago I noticed the hair on my temples grows lighter than usual but I just thought it's a lighter shade of blonde. But now that I started to pay more attention to it and looking at it separately, I see it's grey. I'm going fucking grey at 29
No. 2514097
File: 1746584422034.jpg (490.72 KB, 1080x2340, 1000014583.jpg)
I tried to go on pornhub (not to jerk off I just wanted to vintage gay porn clips) and they have some kind of a video cope message about how "while safety is important, requiring an ID to access adult content puts children at risk" and then doesn't follow up with any justification for that statement so… how tf does that work? Honestly this is based though I am glad they're finally putting in some measures to protect kids from porn. The fact there was nothing before is insane. In irl places you can't sell a lot of items without an ID because obviously kids shouldn't have it, you shouldn't be peddling porn online with absolutely no restrictions. Pornhub can cope and seethe cause I'm willing to bet a large portion of their users are 12-14 year olds and their business model relies on them getting addicted, which studies prove time and time again early porn exposure leads to addiction. Fuck them i hope more states follow
No. 2514253
File: 1746597813203.jpg (147.95 KB, 700x667, 1492617013705.jpg)
>involuntary hikki and living with parents
>doing pretty ok, decently popular artist on tumblr (yes i know) and have my own decently popular website
>2 months later cut off friends because "well i don't like talking to this person anyway" tfw that's just because i have bad social anxiety
>still fine for a while
>depression comes back
>nevermind delete tumblr account because paranoid shizo and "muh art sux" without any nonsuperficial positive reinforcement
>cut off everyone i know because paranoid schizo
>delete all social media and completely dfe
>quit hobbies because depression
>start getting into anti-corpo stuff (currently at the stage where i'm learning to read maps)
>completely quit the games i loved because most of them are gacha and gacha = gambling = corpo = bad
>care more about internet privacy than i ever did which is literally at all
>holed up in my room all day seething about technological advancements and muh 2025 le zoomers le tiktok corpo amazon reeeee
>feel like i cant break out of it because i have genuine morals now
>might never integrate into society again
>all because i made a one-off decision that i thought was right and felt right at the time and truthfully i don't regret it by itself
gee whiz
No. 2514264
File: 1746598907439.png (4.1 MB, 1687x2048, GRWVkMra8AALemj.png)
I can't tell if I'm emotionally unstable because I've been eating edibles 1-2 times a week or if it's just isolation and stress that's getting to me.
I stopped the edibles to make sure but I still really feel like shit and now I don't have edibles which kinda blows.
If it is the drugs How long before I stop crying all the time?
Also I'm heavily addicted to energy drinks so if it's caffeine I'm just plain fucked, I can't give that shit up man.
No. 2514268
>>2514264It's isolation and stress
nonny. If that wasn't happening you wouldn't have the need to have edibles so often imo. The substances probably aren't making it better but they aren't the root cause in my experience. Try doing some breathwork on youtube and see if it makes you feel better to alleviate some issues related to stress.
No. 2514272
>>2514268Kinda up for anything to try and get rid of this instability, so thanks.
I'll keep the break on the edibles just in case, though tbh my mood has been so awful that I just don't feel like taking any.
No. 2514320
>>2513946I know many people who are going grey in their early 20s. Don't sweat it
nonny it's perfectly normal.
No. 2514364
>>2514349Don't feel too bad about it. Applications, IF they're for a real position or opportunity, rely on AI to tick boxes and make decisions for them. Don't lose heart, email the contact provided on the application and ask about other similar opportunities they may have, and ask for feedback on your application.
Keep your head up and remember that you did the best you could. The next time you apply for something similar you'll have a better chance.
No. 2514498
File: 1746629138285.jpeg (902.32 KB, 1076x1665, IMG_0394.jpeg)
>>2514097>requiring an ID to access adult content puts children at riskBut you know what puts children the most at risk for danger and poor quality of life? PORN EXPOSURE AT A YOUNG AGE. I’m sure those fuckers know that but don’t care lmao fuck PH
No. 2514522
File: 1746630925075.jpg (32.03 KB, 400x400, 1729347400992.jpg)
I fucking hate that the maternal side of my family ran around my whole life acting like we we were a "strong matriarchy" just because there's more women than men. The reality is that I'm stuck with the most pathetic spineless boy moms who cower before the handful of men and expect their daughters to be adults at 13 while their deadbeat 40 year old sons can be coddled on all their lives. I hate that my family tried to drill into bullshit bible based gender dynamics, and that I was always the black sheep for not wanting to play along. My uncle's going through some shit with his wife and has been crashing here for almost 6 months now, he's got a pending court case and anger problems, and my grandma (certified retard) just let's him act like it's his house. He's broke, uneducated, MAGA conspiracist, and never lifts a finger to help around the house. He storms out when we try to discuss when he's gonna move out, but has no problem asking for gas money, which my grandma always gives him. I confronted his lazy deadbeat ass (Yeah there's 3 kids wrapped up in all this that he isn't trying to maintain a relationship with) and again, he says "I-I'm going through a lot right now, whatever, you're entitled to be mad," and storm out. HE'S 48 STILL POSTING VAGUE SUICIDE BAIT ON FACEBOOK FFS. I hate when they leave me home alone with him. I hate how steadily manic he's been since he first got here and how my dumbass family is acting like there's no reason to be concerned he's gonna snap (the dude is in anger management courses for his case and gets into loud shouting matches over the phone while we're in the house+men are defective and it's in their DNA to solve problems with violence, so why NOT worry??). It took me saying this toxic change in the house had me considering checking into a psych ward to kickstart a more firm moving out discussion, which of course he bullshitted an answer about waiting on his tax return (which conveniently he didn't get bc it went to his wife's account). I try telling them I feel trapped, helpless, as if my opinion doesn't matter in all this and they do the usual fake cooing of "Omg nooo don't say that omg you TOTALLY matter! But he's family so…." Unlike that attention seeking faggot, I actually HAVE attempted ending things, and I genuinely feel like if I were to succeed this time, my family wouldn't notice till a week after, then just shrug to go back to kissing his ass
No. 2514523
File: 1746631328943.jpg (33.11 KB, 720x731, 77c155809de8e3001bfdaa29cbc425…)
>cute plushie collectible labubu keychain was supposed to be delivered today
>wait all day, I'm at home
>courier emails me to let me know that nobody was home so they couldn't deliver
>didn't knock
>didn't call
>didn't didn't email or text
Why are you blocking me from having my cute toy keychain please I just wanted something to add a sparkle to my week
No. 2514532
>>2514522How much of a professional cherry-picker do these illiterate zealots have to be for the bible to read as "easy mode for scrotes"? None of your male relatives should even have eyeballs for looking at porn or scantily clad women
who are specifically absolved of punishment, according to the bible
No. 2514562
File: 1746634316065.jpg (41.44 KB, 666x669, 20250212_015821.jpg)
I lost power for a week and I'm so behind on all my projects and it's the second to last day. Killing myself
No. 2514571
>>2514565They'd kill us if we actually did something about big pharma, that's why they're killing luigi.
2 big nonos in America are Them and Big pharma. They've both completely cucked our politics and trying to do anything against them is suicide.
No. 2514576
>>2514574I know right lol
>>2514571They cant kill 340 million people of which a bunch have guns
No. 2514589
>>2514582>im scared of losing muh minimal wage job that barely lets me afford food and credit card debtthey still need some workers so if enough people struck it wouldnt be a problem, like what are they gonna do, fire everyone? theres the offshoring threat but most companies who could export their factories already did so all thats left is companies that need local workers.
working class is too socially retarded thats all, brain rotted by fast food, social media, porn and netflix between shifts
its such a pathetic way to live god i hope one day i can stop being part of the poorfags
No. 2514624
Idk if this fits here or the NEET thread more, but I chose to post here just in case. I'm a fresh graduate and have been looking for online courses, intern jobs, graduate development programs, online jobs that don't require experience and so on. Somehow, I got rejected from all of these or no reply all together. It's so frustrating and soul crushing. I live with my elderly dad and sort of on his money, but he's too strict and won't let me use the money anyway I want so I really need to start making my own. He might end up dying eventually and I wouldn't have anywhere to go after that, so I need to have a job and my own savings before it's too late so I can keep the house at least. I can't drive and don't have a car yet either and can't afford it and he won't be paying for driving lessons or a car anytime soon. So I'll need to pay a chauffeur if I get an on-site job at some point or to at least go to interviews, and there's no guarantee he'd give me money for that either because he's selfish and only pays for things that benefits him and doesn't like when I leave the house and go outside for any reason. I feel so trapped and like an absolute failure because of this, and seeing my friends and former classmates landing gigs, camps, courses, internships, being accepted into graduate programs either in the city we live in or in the capital makes me even more miserable. I'm not jealous or envious or anything, I'm happy for them, it's just that their success reminds me of my failure and how my circumstances prevents me from reaching the heights they did. All of them can travel the country solo or go to other countries for work with 0 problems, while I can't look for or invest in any opportunities like that because it just means trouble with my dad. He's always been a hindrance and he'll always be even if he dies. It's so annoying and frustrating to deal with. It's kinda funny and ironic how those same friends and former classmates used to ask me for help because I was the most skillful and knowledgeable, but now they're the ones getting all the opportunities while I keep getting rejected. One of them is literally a massive cheater and liar who bought her success but employers don't give a shit and won't look at my empty compared to hers CV. I never got to participate in any competitions or take any camps or courses because of my retarded circumstances, all I have is my bachelor's degree and my internship that I got because of my uncle. And although my senior project was harder and more impressive, it's still not enough somehow and they keep rejecting me without even an interview first. I always knew this would happen and was scared of the time I have to face it, and I had a false hope that maybe things would turn out better than I expected but I was lying to myself. I'm not going anywhere at all and I'll be a loser forever. It's not that this happens to everyone in the beginning of their career or whatever, with me and my circumstances, I'll probably reach nowhere. Even stupid motivational videos about retards and the disabled figuring their lives out make me feel like shit, because great, actual literal downies and handicaps can live and my ass can't. What does that say about me? I'm retarded and I suck at this shit. All of this is making me suicidal all over again. I kinda want to get lost in a forest or in the desert and die there slowly from starvation or thirst or wild animals.
No. 2514635
File: 1746637755606.jpg (48.08 KB, 480x632, tumblr_c1c2333402455445b214602…)
How do you nonnas stay sane and even date in a misogynistic word where
1. We are always put down that we are not good enough and that we should settle and date aka give free sex and emotional labour to ugly men with even uglier personalities
2.if a moid harms most people will just victim blame you cause "you should have known "
I feel crazy since these two misogynistic ideas are so mainstream and other than here
No. 2514657
>>2514641He doesn't care at all and it's impossible to convince him. He owns the house and we don't have any debt or mortgage to worry about or anything, but we won't be able to survive our day to day life without his pension and landlord money as a source of income. Our youngest is under 18 so if he dies soon, no inheritance either and this is where my worries stem from. But also overall, I don't want to spend the rest of my life stuck at home with no real life at all. I want to work, own my own place, go to the gym, get annual check ups at the hospital, and much more that may pull me out of my "depression" if this is what it is.
Another thing I wanted to vent about but forgot to is that I suck at my hobbies and interests, too so I can't possibly profit from these either if I wanted to. Maybe it's time to start e-begging on Tumblr lmao.
No. 2514658
File: 1746638567560.jpg (45.78 KB, 720x762, e2dd4d00d71a3239d61a4a61af148b…)
I always feel so awkward, broad and unnatural and just fake when I try and dress up or be feminine or just do anything. It feels like I'm just a brain living in a body that's brand new and I'm not used to it yet, except it's been like this for 27 years. I don't get it. I look at other women and they just seem to handle femininity so easily and I feel like I'm constantly larping or adjusting myself because it just feels so uncomfortable. They look like women and I look like a boy trying to be a woman, not in a tranny way but in a strange way I can't describe. Yes tomboy would be the perfect word but nothing about the way I carry myself feels natural and it sucks. Idk how to recover. The only time I feel comfortable is when I'm at home wearing silly oversized pyjamas with a face mask on. Anywhere else it feels like I'm skinwalking someone but haven't managed to perfect it. I wonder if this feeling will go away when I lose weight. I hope so.
No. 2514709
File: 1746641223956.jpg (70.11 KB, 736x736, 49f9c3a8d5b857846d9a8c476c0a71…)
>>2514658I'm in the same boat nona, while I'm happy to have someone understand how I feel I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm sure you look absolutely great in whatever you wear, you are just not seeing it at the moment!
No. 2514719
File: 1746641591392.jpg (58.49 KB, 423x423, 1db88a00a13353a3fd2b457f7899cf…)
>>2514709Aww thanks
nonnie I'm sure you look cute too, we are our own worst critics after all. It's really exhausting having a low self-image and not even entirely understanding why but I hope you manage to recover and find confidence in yourself!
No. 2514724
File: 1746641985640.jpeg (68.72 KB, 810x456, IMG_2337.jpeg)
>>2514722Meant to say femininity parassite kek, don’t get rid of your feminist one.
No. 2514802
File: 1746644785371.jpg (31.4 KB, 750x734, EehM4AQWAAE7mnw.jpg)
T-this sore throat is because I haven't been drinking enough today, right? I'm feeling tired because I'm exhausted, not because I'm about to get sick, right? RIGHT? I don't have time to be sick, I to finish up my final exam project, two final essays and a presentation by the 22nd. I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BE SICK
No. 2514823
File: 1746645405495.jpg (158.04 KB, 1125x1052, image0.jpg)
Nonnas, I am so tired of TIFs controlling all fandom discussion, including anon boards. I wish I had a place to sperg about shows I like without the constant risk of being cancelled/called out by a bunch of TIFs.
No. 2514850
>>2514818Definitely agree with what
>>2514826 said and what you said. I think I remember someone on the Shayna thread said that about Kiki recently, so that's probably what you were talking about. I feel like that thread in particular is (or had been, I don't check on it very much so idk) filled with twitter tourists who are getting their chance to be edgy and mean without any repercussion since I saw a surprising amount of twitter lingo when I last went in there.
It is pretty sad though how some anons will just bash on a woman's appearance for the smallest of things. Like if they're morbidly obese, grossly unkempt, or dress like an absolute train wreck then sure, so crazy. Those are problems that the cow put upon themself, but it's when they nitpick the little things about them that they can't control. And also when they use such scroteish language that's what really makes me feel weird.
Also kinda unrel, but it's seeing that sort of gross posting that always reminds me about the fact that no matter what, there will always be moids lurking and posting on LC. I know I'm preaching to the choir by saying this, but it just pisses me off to no end that we can't just be left alone by them. No matter how much we ask, we separate ourselves off, and try to reason with them, there's nothing we can truly do to ensure that men don't post here. And as much as I would like to believe I can usually identify a scrote when he types, there really is no way to know for sure since they can learn to adopt the etiquette and lingo if they wanted to.
No. 2514921
>>2514893I'm far from being a newfag, I was here since the beginning of the retarded Berry Tsukasa threads.
But it's like what
>>2514826 said.
>there comes a point where it's just putting down women in general and not the cow No. 2515047
File: 1746653997243.jpeg (55.2 KB, 736x736, IMG_2350.jpeg)
>>2515021Me and nonna when it’s time for our package to arrive and we have been sent an email that it will arrive shortly.
No. 2515129
File: 1746656523326.jpg (22.44 KB, 377x377, tumblr_p3ukzavZIx1vitld0o1_400…)
i need a fucking hotdog with mustard, a credit card with NO limit, and a personal trainer with nice teeth and a huge cock NOW!!!!
No. 2515152
>>2515149How did you know that I could only offer a hotdog kek, I thought I could be more mysterious. You made me crave one now too. I prefer honey mustard though and I like adding sauerkraut on top too.
I am hungry now, take responsibility nonna.
No. 2515166
>>2515155You mean the potato buns? I sure do. We can arrange that
nonny. I don’t know if everything will be alright, but we’ll eat a delicious hotdog.
No. 2515171
File: 1746658057782.jpg (27.25 KB, 405x405, 113ccabc-ed71-4da0-960b-5b587b…)
It's like 11:40 here and I can hear what I think is a car engine, but it's the loudest and WEIRDEST engine I've ever fucking heard in my life. It's so guttural, has this weird "popping" undercurrent which comes and goes (it sounds a bit like skittles being hit? Genuinely the only comparison I can think of kek) and also makes a noise like wind blowing. I can't see where it's coming from, either, even though it's a million decibels and vibrating the floor. Am I about to get beamed up into the sky by a spaceship?
No. 2515249
File: 1746660321490.jpg (175.61 KB, 800x450, caw-2286818174.jpg)
>>2515235What do you mean anon? I hope you'll elaborate on that
No. 2515250
>>2514850The pure bullshit in the fandom thread is proof enough that twitter tourists come here to type scary words without being mobbed. It's very entertaining to read, but I feel a bit hopeless at the general lack of brain cells in there.
The types of people who have long and serious discussions about
problematic fictional characters are exactly the types of people who'd call a woman a cocksleeve. You can pretty much guarantee that they're some type of TIF and insanely jealous of the cow they're shitting on.
I know that scrotoids lurk and post but their fun comes from seeing us get mad about it, hence the rules about reporting and not engaging. There's been an influx of them now that 4chan got put to pasture but this isn't an exciting land of grils posting booba for rate. It's a slow board and only a few threads move at anything but a glacial pace, scrotes get tired of waiting for a reaction, and they leave to go spam CC with porn. Moids might call a woman a cocksleeve but they'd probably just try to insult her by announcing that they would not fuck that lady. Moids think that this is the most devastating blow there is, so that's their go to insult for everything. If it's an insult that's very specific to the cow, it's probably a really unpleasant and terminally online woman saying it, so on the bright side, there are probably less scrotes here than you think.
No. 2515284
File: 1746661744775.jpg (49.48 KB, 1000x667, bafkreihsonxgra2cy545plfmhkm2u…)
someone please save me before my blood pressure goes off the charts i had to write a character impression (read: essentially roleplay for a paragraph) for one of my english classes again and i couldn't even proofread that shit. why am i always tasked with embarrassing things just showing my writing is hard enough as it is christtttt
No. 2515311
>>2515289 not fearing i might not be able to afford children or to support my parents when they age
working a 9 to 5 with a week end
a commute that is less than 25 minutes
a house that is spatious enough and doesn't let outside noise in
food that isn't poisonous
i'm studying and investing all of my time in my career to achieve it but it's been 6 years and my dream is only moving further away
No. 2515343
File: 1746664366513.jpg (4.58 KB, 275x183, 1719214788084.jpg)
You guys are so rude sometimes
No. 2515354
>>2515250>The fandom threadThe way they
constantly post/mald over Literal Who's on twitter makes me think they're coming here to cry about the discord friends they're forced to tolerate kek
No. 2515355
>>2515311I might not know you personally , but I think you're doing good, maybe just in a slump bc you really want to see the fruits of your labour. Unfortunately life never gets simple, we just learn to better navigate and handle it better. It'll be a while till you achive that goal, but in the meantime don't beat yourself up for not being there yet. Look at your past and see how far you've come and all the things you have, how much worse you would've been without them or your efforts. It's very noble of you that you want to take care of your parent's, but try to take in the reality that when the time comes, you WILL be able to pull through. From what I've seen in myself, worrying now about the future won't make you more ready, but when it comes, it's almost at just the right time.
If I'm unfamiliar then it's an invitation of growth, if I can handle it then it's proof that I can show up for myself.
The real tragedy is giving up.
Maybe you should take a breather. Meditate a bit, get some rest. Focus on yourself if you feel like your body and mind need it. You can't be there for others if you don't function properly.
I'll be keeping you in my thought's and I knwo you'll achieve your goals.
By curiosity, what do you study?
No. 2515357
>>2514850>>2514818The recent influx of anons admitting to being friends with genderspecials and going "but HSTS troons are the
good ones!!" Probably has something to do with it too. Some farmers definitely sound like they're trying to imitate Jeffree Star-tier faggots when they talk.
No. 2515384
File: 1746665742156.png (84.46 KB, 163x245, luna.png)
>>2515153Careful anon, you don't want to end up like Tuna.
No. 2515532
File: 1746672077128.jpg (47.59 KB, 941x875, 1000035494.jpg)
I need a woman's attention so bad it's making me miss my ex.
No. 2515537
File: 1746672300061.jpg (90.36 KB, 736x736, 495017211_1246328717058044_553…)
shut up. my seed was the rich man's fruit and i lost it all. useless university, no degree, no job.
No. 2515606
File: 1746675059951.png (151.92 KB, 425x421, 1602681363769.png)
So I went to the ER after all expecting to get that nebulizer treatment thing but they just gave me some shitty cough medicine that still has me coughing.
They're gonna milk me dry at this rate cause I know I will have to run back again in 2 days when I eventually crap out.
Fucking shitty useless speds working in healthcare, the only thing that's stopping me from treating myself is being too lazy to find darknet markets.
No. 2515880
File: 1746683149310.jpg (92.65 KB, 960x960, slow-heavy-metal-music-playing…)
My late uncle's car collection is going to be auctioned off before June. I kinda missed the boat on asking for anything from it by not having my license yet. He only had one valuable one and that's not even the one I would have wanted. (I can't have it anyway, they're keeping it). I just wanted one of the really big older ones that I can actually fit in comfortably. (I'm stupid tall) I never drove it but sat in it a few times and felt normal, which I don't feel sitting in basically any other car.
Also, just knowing most of it's gonna be gone forever just feels like "end of an era" similarly to how I felt when high school ended.
No. 2515932
I think I'm dating the wrong person. Ever since we started dating, every argument ends with him just leaving. He always said i dont say things to him in a nice way and i offend him but i have no clue what i say wrong so i try asking questions to be a better talker and understand what I'm saying wrong. Ive changed a lot to be more tactful, which is fine but he complains that he has changed too and I'm like duhh we are in a relationship so we are bound to change. Then he says i haven't improved at all and keeps claiming i insult him, but I'm still clueless in how i do that. Its gotten to the point that he calls me a narcissist and its reaching a breaking point because I'm accepted to university and i told him i want an apartment close so i don't have to drive to school everyday. He is not in university but wants to eventually, but was trying to make me compromise where we both have to drive to school(he'll be going to a community college) . I don't want to drive to school because i want to be involved with my university and not pay the parking pass. My coworkers told me that i should just do what i want, so i bring it up to him and he was fine with it but kept saying its gonna fuck him up to drive so much even though its just a couple of minutes more of driving and he never had problems driving a 25 minute commute to school before so idk why he suddenly has a problem. Well, last he called me a narcissist and saying i kept interrupting my friend at a bar and that i don't know how to talk to people even though he told me multiple times to stop stressing about being nuerodivergent since i can talk to people properly. I really feel like hes trying to manipulate me. He used to believe that people shouldn't compromise in a relationship because both parties wont be happy. Well, everytime we are at a crossroad, i would be the one compromising and he gets his way. Also He will go a long time being upset about something and not tell me. He says when he brings up his problems, that i dont listen or spin it to make it about me. But every time I'm upset, the argument always ends up about his feelings. For example, he said i don't ever compromise and I said we got the apartment he wanted even though i can't even afford it. He suddenly brings up that he did something for me which was not even part of the discussion. So i say, dude we were talking about me, and the things i do. He flips out and leaves and slams my car door and drives off who knows where and its the middle of the night and idk where he is. Anyways am i being manipulated? Am i too self absorbed?
No. 2516021
>>2515274update : no one saved me
maybe next time
No. 2516025
>>2515399really?
i feel quite relaxed right now, if i didnt take anything i wouldve probably not slept which is worse for my brain than benzos, right?
No. 2516030
File: 1746692680984.jpg (21.08 KB, 720x417, 1000011936.jpg)
I wish hanging wasn't so scary. Every other suicide method available to me didn't work so now I'm just such with the most obvious but also most painful choice.
No. 2516092
Cleaning out old accounts and having to accept that there's stuff that I can't delete is annoying, but it ultimately doesn't matter (unless I plan on being famous, which I'm not). Also accepting that I wasted so much time being an unemployed NEET, and wanting to change but not knowing how… idk. Whoops!
>>2515932He sounds like a headache and a nasty piece of work who's taking advantage of you (and its only going to get worse), please please please leave him and stay with friends/family to help you get back on your feet if you can. He is belittling you and demeaning you at every turn to make you doubt your own judgement so that you're fully dependent on him, and chucking tantrums when things don't go his way. No scrote is worth sacrificing your education and career over, especially not one that throws up so many red flags that he might as well be a stop sign. Take care
nonnie, I wish you well and I hope you find someone that actually loves you.
No. 2516194
>>2515364>>2515367Screenshot is from Fail Fandom Anon (FFA) on Dreamwidth. It's a place to discuss fanfiction and fandom stuff in general. Sometimes it's pretty chill and nice, but mostly nonnies there are very mean (for lack of a better word) and at each other's throat, much worse than here IME kek. However transphobia (both deliberate tranny hate and neutral statements that come off as
sus) is a no-no and will gets your comments deleted. Lots of nonnies there are TIFs.
No. 2516199
File: 1746707424970.jpg (112.05 KB, 1920x1080, GqPOLmzXIAEeBe9.jpg)
>>2515932Nona that man is incredibly shitty. Yes, I do think he's manipulative. Let me break it down for you.
Inconsistent and non comunicative, bring up problems only when tentions are high/you talk about YOUR problems:
>He always said I don't say things to him in a nice way and I offend him but I have no clue what>I've changed a lot to be more tactful, which is fine BUT he complains that he has changed too>Then he says I haven't improved at all>He calls me a narcissistInterupting people doens't make you a narcisist, it's a bad habbit but you need a lot more than that to be one.
>Called me a narcissist and saying I kept interrupting my friend at a bar and that I don't know how to talk to people>He told me multiple times to stop stressing about being nuerodivergent since i can talk to people properlySounds like you're a burden to him. Your partner is supposed to support you and show up, you can't do all the lifting. Plus, him driving 5-10 minutes extra isn't a monumental task, mine walks 30 min to my place and never complained, I don't either when I go ti his.
>I told him I want an apartment close so I don't have to drive to school everyday>Trying to make me compromise where we both have to drive to school>Don't want to drive to school because I want to be involved with my university and not pay the parking pass>Bring it up to him and he was fine with it>BUT kept saying it's gonna fuck him up to drive so much even though it's just a couple of minutes more of driving>He never had problems driving a 25 minute commute to school before>[He says when he brings up his problems, that i dont listen or spin it to make it about me]Getting mad, slamming shit and running away is definitly a good reaction to have when talking about problems. Imagine, truly and geniuenly, if this is how he is now when talking about things sort of small like this, how "reliable" he'll be when life gets difficult.
>He used to believe that people shouldn't compromise in a relationship because both parties wont be happy(Which it bs, if you compromise and are miserable you have some problems you need to talk about. Compromise comes when you're comfortable with it, if you do it bc you have to you probably have some relationship or personal issues.)
>Everytime we are at a crossroad, I would be the one compromising and he gets his way>Said i don't ever compromise and I said we got the apartment he wanted even though I can't even afford it>He suddenly brings up that he did something for me>So i say, dude we were talking about me, and the things I do>He flips out and leaves and slams my car door and drives off>[He says when he brings up his problems, that i dont listen or spin it to make it about me]
>He will go a long time being upset about something and not tell me>He says when he brings up his problems, that i dont listen or spin it to make it about me>But every time I'm upset, the argument always ends up about his feelingsYou either dump him or if you really think it's worth it you gotta be more sure on yourself and tolerate less of his bs. Have a serious convo with him, don't be afraid of the posibility of a breakup, and say what bothers you about him and how you feel, how it affects you other aspects of life and that you need to see somehting change asap or else it's not gonna work out longterm. And if his reaction is just as shitty where he slams shit and leaves, then maybe keep him out.
Be strong nona. Norcisists don't think they're narcisists. I hope I was clear.
No. 2516208
File: 1746707731362.png (71.23 KB, 300x168, kmc20230729173159.png)
I'm so fucking sick of trannies being everywhere, I almost wish I didn't fully peak because now I just notice how prevalent they are online. It's like every other post is about them. For people that are apparently 1% of the population they sure do shit up every single space and make themselves known 24 fucking 7.
It's like I just can't stand them anymore. I say fully peaked because when I was younger a few years ago I spent some time lurking lc but it's only now I've truly realized that literally all of them are like this. Especially the TIMs. I feel like picrel
No. 2516295
File: 1746715370392.jpg (525.54 KB, 1536x2048, GptB6sQbUAAeJnB.jpg)
i need to get banned so i stop posting so much
>>2516208fuck off you whiny loser + you're a scrote + i love jay
(as requested) No. 2516298
:) :p :3 ^^ :D(emoji)
No. 2516304
File: 1746716333169.jpg (319.58 KB, 1080x1913, I wish i was dead.jpg)
Tried using a ai chatbot for venting and this was a ad that popped up. I really wish i was dead. I just want to escape being female and seeing this shit constantly. I hope i die in my sleep.
No. 2516412
>>2516328Does she have BPD? That's BPD behavior right there. The attention seeking, the need for control, and the tantrums are veeery obvious signs. Obviously I can't say for sure but it's worth looking into how to cope with BPD relatives to make your life slightly easier.
Try to discreetly record her tantrums and her rants, especially about her boyfriend and other people she hangs out with. There's a really good chance she's talking shit about you to her boyfriend and turning everyone she knows against you, if you have evidence that she's the one instigating all this crap it's going to make things much easier for you when shit inevitably hits the fan.
Bippies are known for putting themselves in dangerous situations for attention. If you offend your sister by making coffee incorrectly and she starts walking on train tracks to punish you, call the police and let them deal with it. Don't blame yourself for what she does to herself, and carry on grey rocking her as much as possible. Don't be honest with her either, she'll use it against you. It's exhausting to live with someone like that but it really isn't something you should be expected to fix, don't run around after your sister cleaning up her messes.
>>2516329That's not a bad question to ask. If you rely on that person to pay for your treatments, they might decide to stop paying out of the blue and leave you struggling. There are probably alternative services that could be offered if you found yourself in that situation.
I hope things get easier for you nonna, and I hope your family member gets what they deserve while you watch.
No. 2516500
>>2516490>they don’t even seem grateful for itAyrt, and damn, that's exactly how it looks to me, too. I wish they could understand the difference between being handed something and having to struggle to get something. I'm pretty sure they think I'm just "lazy" because I simply
refuse to join them whilst summering in Turks and Keikos, kek
No. 2516562
File: 1746727679646.jpg (78.1 KB, 1114x1112, dog.jpg)
I know it's kind of stupid, but I sobbed today because I got rejected for an application for a dog I've been following for a couple of months.
I make good enough money and I was all set up to buy everything he needed, drive to the foster home 4 hours away, and check him out to make sure everything was okay just in case he wasn't a good match. I also have a home with a large yard and a fence, and my landlord gave me the YES to everything. We also went through a phone interview and they vetted through all of our references which went great. Apparently they thought I wasn't a good enough candidate because the last time I took my cat to the vet was 3 months ago, but they wanted a monthly basis. Are you kidding me? I take him for his yearly vaccinations since he's a happy inside cat with no problems. If he does has a problem, I take him and will spend however much to make sure he's okay because I love him and understand he is a responsibility I took on. We also referenced an old dog that my partner had as a child of the same breed to showcase our love for this breed and since there were no vet records they could find (because it was an old family dog from ten plus years ago) they added this onto the rejection.
Are you serious? Sadly I get why people go to backyard breeders now (not that I'm going to do that but god damn), rescues require you to send in a fucking resume and cover letter and applications cost 50 plus bucks to send in without even knowing if they'll respond back, and whenever I look through the shelters near me it's dogs with covered up histories of aggression or older dogs that need immense care and surgery that I cannot take on right now. I'm just so sad and upset that we wasted a couple months on this application. It's not the end of the world but they were so on board throughout all the phone calls to the point where we stopped sending in applications to other rescues just to text us that they will be ending contact now due to this that I'm frankly very upset.
It feels stupid to cry over seeing his little face and knowing we can't bring him home, but maybe it's for the best. I just don't know where to go next without wasting another few months spending money on applications, facetiming rescues, people asking to measure my fence, and showcasing that I'm not a ringleader for a dogfighting organization. Mind you this is a small fat dog breed lol so feel free to laugh at me and my time wasted. I feel like it would be easier to adopt an actual child at this point.
No. 2516566
File: 1746727994845.jpg (512.45 KB, 1600x1200, simba-cooper-dogs.jpg)
>>2516562I'm so sorry,
nonnie. I'm a dogfag too and reading this made me really sad, and it's
valid to be upset considering you went above and beyond. If you don't mind me asking, where are you from? I'm a burgerfag (adopted my senior Lhasa in Chicago) and had success with adoptapet. Rescues (at least where I'm from) list their dogs on there and tend to get back to you well/not waste your time. There are also some elderly people, or people with conditions, who list their dogs on there if they're unable to take care of them, but it's harder to find a specific breed.
I'm rooting for you,
nonnie, and I hope you get a furry friend soon. You sound like you'll be a great owner. ♥
No. 2516569
>>2516562Nona that sucks. And I'm not even a huge fan of dogs. What the fuck is up with that draconian vetting procedure??
I would recommend going to a local shelter and getting a rescue. But, of course, you had your heart set on a particular one. So take your time.
No. 2516592
>>2516582Dang. I'm this anon
>>2516569 and I guess I assumed the dog-deprived nona was trying to go through a fancy breeder or something … idk. That's ridiculous. In my neck of the woods shelters just throw rescue dogs and cats and anyone who walks in. Didn't realize she was trying to get a rescue … the hoops to go through are bananas where you are, apparently! That's awful
No. 2516698
>>2516566Thank you
nonnie, also a burgerfag but in the south. The same breed would be nice but I'm willing to look for others that are similar so I appreciate the recommendation! Thank you so much, I'm still crying like a baby so this means a lot to me!
>>2516582Wow that's insane, especially being a vet nurse. The fact that you got rejected for a cat that way is retarded especially considering I find my cat wanting to be alone for hours on end to do this own thing all the time, he'd be pissed if I interrupted his 10 hour sleep time kek. Thank you for not making me feel crazy for the month on month vet thing too, I found that insane especially because he's perfectly healthy and my vet people would let me know if he needed anything extra. I feel lucky to have them. The prices for rescues are crazy as well! I'm not asking for anything fancy and I'm willing to pay a good price because dogs are a responsibility but jfc am I buying a horse?? They aren't even a designer breed, just smaller. This monopoly is crazy and I'm a little convinced the fosters (because all the dogs are fostered at homes instead of an actual shelter at the ones I've applied to) are just keeping the dogs and shelving the fees lol I feel so done.
>>2516592Rescues are not breeders but not shelters, kind of inbetween in my opinion. From my understanding rescue specific shelters either find the dogs on the street, foster them out of public shelters, or are given dogs from people that cannot take care of them anymore and then they foster/list them on their site. Usually applications cost 50 bucks plus and you have to go through something similar to a job application. One of the big things for any breed, I've noticed, is that many require you to live in a home with a giant measured fenced in backyard. I think it's a little stupid to get denied just for that unless you have a dog that needs that, especially a bigger dog, as my past dogs have been fine with just going on long walks outside and stimulation in the house but these rescues are VERY specific. I wouldn't of even gone through them if the government shelters near me had an array of smaller/less aggressive/cat friendly dogs but I'm still on the lookout. I'm willing to go far, but it's so annoying to be treated like I'm a stupid dumb dumb idiot by these rescues because I'm not doing the extra most. Like wtf happened in the past 10 years I feel like it wasn't this hard to adopt a normal dog.
No. 2516755
File: 1746733634510.png (350.61 KB, 640x369, kotoriwhat.png)
I'm starting to think there is something inherently so off-putting and weird about me that I am basically a real-life Raid but for humans. Every last good friend I've made over the last few years stopped talking to me and now whenever I hit it off with someone new and see them also starting to not talk to me anymore, I can see the cycle repeating again. I can always feel people IRL giving me uncomfortable or judgmental looks.
Honest to god, I do not know what it could be though. If it's people sensing my negativity, I've come a long way with my self-esteem issues compared to previous years. It's not great, but I feel much more confident and relaxed around others compared to the mess I was before. Maybe I just went from being a timid wallflower with no personality to just being a Weird Al-type instead.
Will I never be remotely close to normie? Is forming a completely different identity the only way I will ever get people to stop pulling away? I feel like there's no other way and I have to completely fake who I am to be likeable. Queue Blake from Workaholics telling Adam "Just be yourself" and Adam saying "That's horrible advice. Most people don't like me, actually." Perhaps I am some kind of natural eccentric that will always be the less normie in a room full of normies, but I've also been wrecked by severe social anxiety my whole childhood so there is no doubt that I have social maladjustment that will always be immediately apparent to someone who has never had any. It's like a scarlet letter on my breast.
No. 2516763
>>2516755Do you actively try to be friends with them? Text first?
I'm totally projecting but consider the idea that maybe you don't even like people or desire their company. When I accepted that I stopped feeling lonely.
No. 2516772
>>2515451It's so over.
Women have been programmed for millennia to suck up to the males who usurped their rightful place to choose and influence the gene fool in order to secure resources. 100 years in select countries, we're still like this. This is why I call myself a misanthropist. While women aren't evil like men are, they are truly pathetic.
Intelligent life was a mistake.
No. 2516813
File: 1746736293782.mp4 (4.02 MB, 1080x1920, m2-res_1920p.mp4)
For anyone that has ever beefed with someone in a friend group and then left said group, did any of the other members of the group come around and understand why you did what you did?
I left a group because my ex friend treated me like absolute shit, manipulative BPD bullshit. But that ex-friend is involved in a creative project with the friend group, and is dating another member.
I left and explained why I left. I had a family member tell me (when I was ranting to them about it) that people in the group might just be under the same 'spell' I was, but I got too close, and that's why I got the shit end of all the fucked up behavior.
I'm grieving what I thought was a pretty solid friend group in adulthood. This is also my first time standing up for myself in a friend group like this, I've also never experienced anything like this with friends…
I have this horrible feeling that it doesn't really matter, because I rocked the boat, and this person is more useful to them than me, I'm out and I'll probably stay out unless I reconcile with this person. But I don't want to, because the reconciliation implies that I have to apologize for some part of my reaction to their abusive bullshit behavior. Like threatening suicide tantrum stomping bullshit. At the very least, my friends seem to think "well, she's nice to me, so…" even though they would tell me about how much of a bully she could be at times, or how she was "immature" or "mentally ill"… But I fucking feel mentally ill right now, not knowing wtf I'm supposed to do. I can't even trust the people who still say they're my friends, because I never hear shit from them now that I'm not involved.
This rant is retarded and I feel like an insecure little bitch to be ranting about it. But idk has anybody gone through something like this?
No. 2516818
File: 1746736509720.png (1.39 MB, 1000x1544, masada.png)
>>2516763>I'm totally projecting but consider the idea that maybe you don't even like people or desire their companyAdmittedly not most of the time, you're right. Talking to most people has felt like a complete chore for years now.
However, there are people I've tried that with (One I'm even interested in romantically right now) and yet I still can tell they rapidly lose interest from their replies. The interest always ends up one-sided. Maybe I come off too boring/uninteresting because I can't share in the people I talk to's excitement about what they want to talk about (It's not like these tend to be unshared interests, either. I just have a much more flat, emotionally reserved disposition). I feel like there is always some kind of invisible wall between me and others that just can't be crossed. This is self-evident by how most people I tried to get to know never became more than acquaintances and the few good friendships I somehow managed to make all eventually degraded into acquaintanceships, before fading away completely. The person I am interested in even told me I shouldn't be closed off, but I'm sorry..I'm just a boring version of Pandora's Box. Nothing good will come out of opening me. I'm just a bizarre and bitter person that is as interesting as watching paint dry.
>>2516770For environments like ones in my corpo job, that's just not an option, but in informal situations yeah I guess you're right. I don't want to give off some kind of serial killer vibe, either. I already feel like I try too hard to be funny alot of the time, even though I know I'm not. Being funny is a skill only suited for normies.
>at some point, you'll find new people or a group that you "click" with.My issue is that this happens even with the people I was fully convinced I "clicked" with, too. If that's the case, I can't think of anything else other than it not just being a case of being weird, but also coming across as some kind of creep. Don't know how else to explain people giving me uncomfortable stares. I'm not some kind of schizo or anything, just severely depressed, but I must come across disturbed in some way. Not to get carried away with self-diagnosis, but I do feel like a schizoid actually. I've always lived in my head and naturally gravitate towards isolating myself. No one actually ever gets to know me as I am.
No. 2516822
>>2516813I very recently went though something similar and it was a lot quieter but it was still painful. I was targeted by a guy who I’m pretty sure is an abuser and wanted me to be his next
victim and he turned all of our mutual friends against me. I have no idea what he said but they have all gone super cold on me when we see each in other in person but watch my socials like a hawk. I tried to ask them what was up and just got ignored. All I can say is that it fucking sucks and they’re not your real friends. It’s for the best but it’s still a really painful way to find out who is actually there for you. Hope you find some better friends nonna.
<3 No. 2516832
>>2516813Well, I saw it from another angle. I was part of a friend group that had a manipulative bpd person, and honestly it took a while for us to see her for what she really was. I would recommend not "rocking the boat" further, continuing to seek contact with anyone else except for her. Your friends probably are still your friends, and, being human and all, don't want too much drama. I don't know specifics, but my friend group went through similar drama and eventually we recognized the bpd chaos element and ousted her. Patience, showing your other friends you're still loyal to them, and standing by your truth-telling. Don't rush anything. Sorry if I'm misconstruing anything, but I think if you sit back, cultivate your relationships with your real friends, and shun the crazy one to the best of your abilities, then your group will figure it out on their own.
No. 2516841
>>2516831>there was this one guy in high school who had a weird hate-obsession over meNTA, this has happened to me too and it's horrible. Did he really troon out just because he thought it would spite you…? That's insane and definitely creepy. In my case, the scrote with the obsession would send me edgelord memes or gore at random times, and he'd also insult my body in front of others in a way that made it obvious he was scrutinising me. Then, in what I
think was an attempt to make me jealous, he started orbiting the pickme in our social circle and was super passive aggressive about it. Genuinely what the hell is wrong with males kek
No. 2516847
>>2516822I'm sorry you went through a similar thing
nonnie. The whole
>I tried to ask them what was up and just got ignoredshit bothers me to no end. It makes me think - if they don't 'want drama' would they even tell me what's up? Why complain about the person's behaviors but then ice me out while entertaining that person instead? But all this ruminating does nothing but make me anxious and doesn't solve shit.
>>2516832This was extremely reassuring, thank you. I know that it doesn't mean my friends will behave the same way, or really ever "find out" what she's like beyond what she's displayed already… but it gives me hope that you say it took a while for you and the other friends to see who she really was.
Thank you for the advice on not further rocking the boat and not rushing anything. I'll just use this time to work on my patience and find other people I mesh with in the meantime. Also, I'll try to not be so paranoid about how people ~really~ feel about me and just take at face value that these friends don't want drama. I really appreciate it, I'm screenshotting this so if I start ruminating I can look back at it.
No. 2516883
>>2516847I'm glad you replied to my post, which of course is very anecdotal and not universal, but … I believe friendship is the most important thing out here, and what we went through was really rocky. I made it a point to let my non-
problematic homies know I was still with them no matter what, even if I thought they were under the spell of the bpd-monster. It was a fuckin ride, but I realized there's no reason to sacrifice 4 good friendships because of one lone bpd idiot. You seem like you get it. We emerged from the shitshow stronger than ever, when all was said and done. I really wish you the best because you seem cool and empathetic.
No. 2516900
>>2516892i love you
nonnie what the hell do that mean…
No. 2516902
>>2516892I love you
nonnie do it anyway
No. 2516965
>>2516883I think that
>I made it a point to let my non problematic homies know I was still with them no matter whatis the point I need to internalize. Sometimes it feels like they are keeping things surface level with me or ignoring me and it feels frustrating. However, we're all very busy and no longer a bunch of teens in school.. So I ought to keep the good faith and interact with them. This gives me hope!! And yes, I did wind up feeling a bit stronger because I was no longer a doormat to the bullshit. I just hope my friends can do the same sooner than later!
No. 2517065
File: 1746747354565.jpg (75.76 KB, 960x768, 6e34253264.jpg)
I want to text my ex so so so bad, I haven't gotten any attention from another woman in a few months and it has been driving me crazy. She texted me first and my friends have told me not to text back because she clearly knows that she shouldn't be doing that and it will only fuck with me but god. She has not made space for me in her life, and I was doing much more for the relationship than she was, but FUCK what I wouldn't do if she was actually a better person. I know by texting her she won't even have enough time to respond properly because she'll be busy with a shit ton of work by this time, so I know better than that. If only she did make space for me then things would be different, my love quest is not over though.
No. 2517187
File: 1746751519792.gif (1.98 MB, 498x270, tropicalrougeprecure-cute-1433…)
>>2517162Do you have money for travel? Moids will automatically hit on you in many countries and the language barrier will create mystery. I am basically recommending you be passport sis but I think it could work tbh
No. 2517630
I can't figure it out if I'm being gaslighted or manipulated or if I'm really the retarded one here. I have a rocky relationship with my ex, he's always been respectful to me but he also did some questionable shit, and idk if I'm just crazy and seeing things or if he's really two faced. He broke up with me because "he couldn't see a future with me", I was devastated so I was trying to find any ways to still meet him and I said we can still have sex, he rejected the idea, and in the end I told him angrily that I'm never gonna contact him again. But I told him happy birthday three months later. And then he suddenly came back at me and asked if we can be fwbs and I said yes cause I was still desperately in love with him. We had sex, but he behaved weirdly with me and (respectfully) told me to leave his house when I was supposed to stay for longer, I started crying cause again I felt used like a toy, he told me he doesn't care about my crying and feelings. After that I left and he blocked me, and three months later he comes back in my dms asking me if I still wanna have sex. This time at the beginning I was more guarded, I didn't meet with him but ended up having a meltdown about how he's treating me badly and mocking my feelings and that he knows that I love him and he's using that for his own advantage. And he said he has no empathy for me cause I'm not rational and that I consented to everything so I can't hold it against him and that he doesn't have any reason to say sorry cause he didn't do anything wrong.
No. 2517653
File: 1746777542055.jpeg (164.17 KB, 1125x670, IMG_7934.jpeg)
I know it’s a power thing ATP, but pick up a fucking hobby and stop calling me. You act like Tom calling Greg about his saucy secret or whatever happened in Succession. Jesus fucking Christ. How do you even maintain having a job? Get a fulfilling life and leave women out of it, you weirdo. Holy shit. If this fucking rapist shithead gave me an STD, which I’ll find out soon, I’ll rage out and fully go through with charges. Fucking dickhead.
No. 2517664
>>2517640>>2517630sometimes when someone tells you something, it's good to listen to them
he clearly stated that he does not care about your feelings and he clearly just wants to use you for sex
it can be hard to relate as to why a guy would be that way but they really just need to stick it in something every now and then, it doesn't mean anything and he does not love you
cut all contact and leave, if you make it past the stage of missing him deeply (about 3-6 months), the only feeling left will be the regret of not doing it earlier
No. 2517666
>>2517630>he said he has no empathy for me cause I'm not rational and that I consented to everything so I can't hold it against him and that he doesn't have any reason to say sorry cause he didn't do anything wrongAlso that's just bullshit, that's just what he tells himself. You are not irrational. You miss him so you want to be intimate with him, that's quite rational. He knows that and he takes advantage of it while pretending he doesn't lol.
He sounds like a misogynistic piece of crap with that "women are not rational bs" and a really shitty person all around.
No. 2517685
File: 1746781327562.jpg (17.85 KB, 736x1060, the horror.jpg)
My SSD is failing and i need to buy a new one ASAP. My HDD stopped working completly and i need a new one. Now my second monitor stopped working and i need to buy a new one. I would need like 400 usd to cover the cost of all the things that broke in this shit ass year. Fuck it, i am going to make vtuber loli asmr shit i am desperate and i am completly useless to the point i failed several low entry jobs because of my autism. Fuckkkk why couldnt i be born in a stable family, i got no one to lend me money and i live in a thirdie shithole too. Just kill me already. I fucking hate my life, i hate having to prostitute myself for a living i ltierally cannot thinkg of anything else i can do for money because i am fucking useless and the only thing i have ever been complimented on is my voice. I am not even pretty enough to make an onlyfans. I hate my fucking life.
No. 2517697
>>2517502Because they want to be you nona. Tims will copy anything women do so let them affect your fashion choices.
>>2517478lol i have this issue where when I rewatch shows i like i never watch the final episode, because then it feels like it hasn't ended yet
No. 2517733
Like A While ago I was broken up with by a gf of mine I dated for half a decade. I remember feeling awful about myself, but I never thought much bad about her ever. Until I spoke about the breakup finally over two years later with a friend.
That friend told me that my gf was abusing me all those years, that my gf was always an insufferable heartless bitch who always demeaned me and insulted me in my face and ever since she moved away, she ditched all her friends, including that friend, basically, and barely contacts them and everyone is feeling weird still having her come round because she's unpleasant.
The opinion of my friend made me reframe a lot about that relationship, but even after that, I mostly just realised me and my ex were a bad match and she's not really as bad of a person as my friend described her, even if now, much older, I wouldn't like or date that ex.
Today I woke up to find out that my friend who badmouthed my ex so badly, is hanging out with her.
Nonas, I feel weird. Like, did my friend lie to me to make to make me feel better about a breakup? She keeps mentioning that my ex was a bad person all the time tho.
Or is she a two-faced person for still hanging out with "an abusive monster bitch" after all these years of badmouthing her?
I feel weird, because it's not really my place to ask why anyone hangs out with anyone. We were all friends for years. I just feel like I am out of the loop and not understanding something here and that's why I feel weird. Like am I weird? Are they weird? Who's lying to who? Is it ok to feel bad for your ex whom you wish nothing but happiness despite them being kind of a bitch for hanging out with your other friend who openly badmouths her to me any opportunity?
Should I even care if my long-time ex and current-time friend are hanging together? Ugh.
No. 2517748
>>2517722Moids will have a girl who loves them and is
that loyal to them and still treat them like shit kek. Their soullessness is insane
No. 2517830
File: 1746797695344.png (335.24 KB, 640x491, IMG_4818.png)
I’m so fed up with owning a dog. I love them but I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve had my dog for 13 years now and I feel like I’m just waiting for her to croak. As she’s aged she’s turned into a completely different dog and I’m the only one putting in the funds and effort to take care of her on top of everything else I have to do. Yeah, I’ll be sad, but it’ll feel like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I just also hate the mess and allergies that comes with having an animal that goes outside. I’ll continue to take care of her and love her but sometimes it gets tough and it really tests my patience.
No. 2517833
>>2517828I hate gay moids who aren't really aligned with females, you know the type. The weird softboys who like masculine things in a wimpy way. Maybe they have a pop girl they stan. Anyway these fags are the most insecure because they can kind of pass as a straight male but their seething insecurity makes them think they're some limpwrist fag so if you are friends with them they'll probably end up being evil freaks to you. If they find some man they can fixate on (either as friends or fuckbuddies) they will dump and betray your ass so fucking quickly.
On the other hand I have a soft spot for the kind of fag who was probably really close with his mom or sisters and mainly socializes with women, if they're catty and mean then they're not who I'm talking about. These types are always really kind and smartly dressed and clean. Typically very good at smalltalk. Those are the fags that I like but they're so incredibly rare.
Bottom line, if the fag actually calls you a bitch or something else demeaning, he is one of the bad fags. If the fag polite and good at smalltalk and gets along great with women he's probably a good one.
No. 2517837
File: 1746798364734.webp (30.91 KB, 598x900, defensebook.jpg)
>>2517833This one told a long story where he mentioned wanting to kill several "dumb bitches" throughout,
complete with multiple strangulation hand gestures so. Definitely one of the bad ones. More than one of us started holding our textbooks like picrel and he just kept going because he apparently didn't see how aggro the entire thing made him seem.
No. 2517848
>>2517844Would if I could
nonny. It's a small school so he's unavoidable on campus.
No. 2517872
File: 1746800674625.jpeg (7.49 KB, 225x225, images-26.jpeg)
Im too delusional about how i look. I used to think I was average, equal to the girls around me. Then i saw how my female friend got with an actually attractive guy, who was talented, spoiled her, etc. In constrast, i only seem to atttact ugly men, who are just desperate for any female attention. The ones who show up to the date in a graphic t and basketball shorts, dont pay for anything, that kind. I even tried asking a cute boy (short, skinny asian guy) i was friends with out once, falling for the "guys accept 99% of advances!" Psyop. I was rejected, and now when we hang out he talks about how hes trying to find girls at the bar, or about how hes talking on instagram to this cute girl we used to go to school with.
Its funny too. The same guy asked me why ive never had a boyfriend, then asked why i didnt date the fat lard who asked me out. If i was actually cute, put together, no one would tell me to date some ugly guy.
Feelsbad
No. 2517873
I'm not the type of person who wants to save the entire world, I understand that you cannot help someone who just doesn't want help but I cannot get over not being able to help my brother. Our father was an abusive man, gradually getting worse and worse over the years. Not that long ago I realized he was abusing xanax for many years, which explains his violent outburst and paranoia. The last couple of years at home was absolutely hell, but now we're all moved out and safe.
I could write a lot about how devastating the aftermatch of years of abuse is on me, my mother and my sister, but that is probably best left fot therapy. After all, we manage to carry on with our lives somehow, except for my brother.
He's 24, I think, I honestly don't really know. We don't talk. He doesn't really talks to anyone, maybe sometimes with mom since he lives with her. No friends, no leaving the house. He doesn't have a high school diploma, he dropped out. He doesn't have a job. He had a job for a second lately, one where you chat to people in a store and get them to try some tobbaco products, but he quit because "people were mean". I would laugh if it was about anyone else, but it's about him and the thought of someone being mean to him makes me cry. I want to help him, but we have no connection. He doesn't feel comfortable around me and our interactions are beyond awkward.
I feel terrible sense of guilt, like I was the one that was somehow supposed to protect him and failed. I feel bad that him being alone, not included, depressed became normal. My sister's 3 year old comes over and is scared of the closed door to his room, he sometimes asks whispering "who lives there". Everyone is doing something with their lives and he's forgotten. I wish I was making enough to fund him online therapy or had any way of providing him a job that he would be comfortable with. Maybe something would light up inside of him. It feels strange, he's older than me but I want to take care of him. I think because I was also very depressed after moving out and I know how hard it is to put yourself together. But the life I have now was worth all the work and his could be too, if only someone helped him through the first steps.
Do any of you have experiences like this? What can I do?
No. 2517887
File: 1746801386964.jpg (16.03 KB, 372x248, blond-sad-woman-thinking-CUF00…)
I can't help it but I look always sad or suffering in pictures/selfies. I can't force myself to smile, it looks psychotic. Idk if I'm autistic or just retarded really but it's driving me crazy. Now that my skin looks good I thought my time has come.
No. 2517892
>>2517873Have you ever had this conversation with your brother? Like told him everything you just told us, including your own fears and shame about not feeling like you did enough. It would take being vulnerable on your part, but maybe showing him love and vulnerability could do something to help him feel loved and safer being vulnerable himself. But if you do it, don’t go into it expecting/wanting him to open up. Open up to him, don’t ask for or imply you want anything in return. Tbh I don’t think it would make a noticeable difference in the moment, but it would set a foundation you could try to continue building on over time.
Not a moid but I have struggled with big-time trust issues from childhood abuse that I’ve been trying to work through the past few years. Finally interacting with someone who made my hurt feel understood and who loved and empathized with me in the face of it all was a huge step forward.
No. 2517944
>>2517640>He said I'm old enough to be responsible for my own decisions and I agreeHe is right though. It’s not like he promised you to come back, you offered easy sex he accepted it. He didn’t need to do anything. Have some accountability rather than blaming people.
He is a POS, but he showed you plenty of times that he was POS, yet you willingly went along each time.
No. 2517950
>>2517892I haven't had a conversation with him. On his birthday I sent him a message saying that even though we don't talk, I still think about him and wish him the best. It was simple, but I remember being a bit emotional writing it. He read it after a couple hours and didn't respond in any way. I don't think I stand a chance to have a real life conversation with him anytime soon, it seems impossibile. I don't think I'd be able to say anything, I'd just start crying and it would achieve nothing.
His birthday is coming up soon, I think I'll text him something again. I guess now that I know he won't bother with answering I can write something longer. It won't be as good as irl talk but hopefully will make him feel noticed and cared for.
Thank you for response
nonnie, I'm happy you found someone who makes you feel safe and I hope you will continue healing
No. 2518016
>>2517872 I’m in your same boat sort of. I am attractive but no one approaches me that often kek. I think that in general people approach less lately, due to social media and dating apps, I was being approached more before, so don’t let it get to you nonna.
I see men looking at me when I go out and I get compliments too from women.
No. 2518135
File: 1746811408224.jpeg (18.27 KB, 275x270, IMG_0326.jpeg)
you never realize how fat you are until your pic gets taken, huh
No. 2518138
>>2518109You're not going to like what they are if you actually had them, I bet.
Take it from experience.
No. 2518148
File: 1746812094824.jpeg (21.83 KB, 170x275, IMG_0089.jpeg)
>>2518139anon… thnx for the reassurance, but i’m a lil worse than just a chubby face
hey, it’s motivation for me to actual lose the pounds now, i used to be completely delusional about my weight before kek
No. 2518245
File: 1746817280372.png (55.9 KB, 275x213, 1722544779891.png)
Ex sent me money but it was to a business account I have and now he's fucking with my business cause I have to send the money back. Like idk I guess I could write it as a loss but I don't want this to turn into a back and forth everytime he feels like wooing me back. He won't leave my mom alone either. I've thought about pressing charges but it's not really like, obvious harassment, but it's still fucking me over in mundane ways.
No. 2518249
File: 1746817584273.jpg (28.1 KB, 405x344, 1000030333.jpg)
Jesus, imagine thinking you're normal most of the time and then something happens and you get painfully reminded how much of a spaz you are, and you don't normally think about it simply because you don't have enough exposure. I basically don't interact with men on a daily basis (there's one guy at my work and he's ugly, and that's it, I have no men in my family, no male colleagues, I never dated etc.). Today at a store there was this handsome young clerk and he was super nice and looked me in the eyes all the time and he even tried to start some small talk, and I couldn't look at him, couldn't say anything and I was literally picrel. I only managed to say 'thank you' and 'bye'. It's over I'm a femcel
No. 2518480
File: 1746828073089.jpg (96.89 KB, 735x743, x.x.jpg)
I am so annoyed by how my mom has been going around randomly telling strangers how old I am, my physical flaws, and going on about it humorlessly, even when they visibly look very uncomfortable. many just walk the fuck away during it. for example she'll rant how fat I am even though I'm more than 100 pounds lighter than everyone else in my family including her and she never once has ever commented about any of their bodies. the banality of it makes my brain rot. there's so many fun things to talk about, so why does my appearance fascinate her so? what the fuck is wrong with her? I don't want to hate her but this is getting so exhausting.
No. 2518546
File: 1746833024555.jpg (73.02 KB, 935x525, d.jpg)
I'm grouped with a bunch of scrotes for a group project and the concept they want to go with is fucking retarded. They're just sticking with the first idea someone came up with. I asked if this is something they even want to develop and this moron goes "it's more about the project management side" NO IT FUCKING ISN'T. WE HAVE TO DEVELOP IT END TO END.
No. 2518561
File: 1746833641904.jpeg (89.1 KB, 600x597, 0B9164C7-CB57-45AA-BD47-4ADA39…)
I avoid being friends with moids, but have retardedly enough been chatting with one of my online friends from long ago almost daily for like 2 months (on ig). It started off with me randomly asking him for advice about something related to a field he's an expert in and then we ended up chatting about mutual interests (that are pretty niche). Well, I'm starting to feel like he uses me for positive female attention until he gets a gf and wonder if he has seen me as a friend at all. There are 0 romantic feelings from my side and I can't imagine there being any from his, but I think it's a situation where attention from any woman would boost his ego even if it's 100% platonic. The interests we have in common are extremely male dominated and I have yet to find women in them that I can have actual convos with. My only other option is reddit and the thought of that makes me want to kill myself. I know he's gonna stop talking with me once he gets a gf, so I might as well start cutting the convos short and let them fizzle out.
No. 2518610
File: 1746835446038.jpg (276.24 KB, 392x408, 1623287135644.jpg)
I got walked in on drawing nsfw twice and got a "wowwwwwwwwwww" kill me please please please I beg for death grant me mercy
No. 2518634
>>2518624I'll stay alive for her sake kek but are you sure you're not encountering the same person?
>>2518628 or is it just a known phenomena to be exposed to surprise sketchbook tentacle porn
No. 2518715
I just realized that I'm about to turn 25 this year, and this might be my own little mid-active-social-life crisis, because this takes me back to when I was only 16, while in one of my many "protracted visits" to the psych ward, I remember describing how my only life plan at that time as a dropout was to live on the equivalent of social security in my country, which is reserved for the unemployed over the age of 25, and I was (smugly) told that I should rather be planning for what to do in the time between now and then, as this was in relative "eternity" for my age
what struck me is this still feels like yesterday, because nothing in my life has changed, nor anything significant even happened since then, I'm still the same dropout loser with no life, but at least now that I live alone my family doesn't send me to the psych ward every other month anymore, so I guess I'll now be collecting social security and continue to live this way for the foreseeable future, even as my youth is now officially over and forever wasted
thanks for reading my blogpost
No. 2518733
>>2518685If it helps I feel the same way and I only took two gap years. My group is a bit more focused on studying but I still don't have much in common with them.
Do you have research societies for your chosen major? Could be worth exploring. Or just make friends outside uni.
No. 2518739
>>2518733>research societies for your chosen majorthere are some social clubs but they're all dead, save for the occasional partying which I have zero interest in
I've just settled with avoiding to spend time on my campus as much as possible, it's really and a reminder that I'll never be able fit in with my "peers" anymore (not that I ever did before), it's like most of them just look so carefree and unbothered, probably still lives with their parents, so it just ends up as a weight on my mood to be exposed to them all day
I even get the sense that even if I were to ever befriend them, I'd feel disappointed as well
>make friends outside uniI mean I've never had a glimpse of social life, I don't even have the fainted clue as to what normal people do on their week-ends
plus I'm not even remotely interesting as a person, I was under the impression that having to share an activity for 8 hours a day with someone could be my (only) starting point, but now this feels kind of hopeless
I've been told no one makes new friends once they're adult, it's either they start a relationship or just spend their life working, I don't feel like I'm cut for either anyway
No. 2518744
File: 1746843171243.jpg (270.89 KB, 974x1500, young-girl-member-ku-klux-klan…)
>>2518740What's your ethnicity nona
(I havent seen any anons bashing one particular race on here and when they do it's usually only the moids they are talking about but I'm sorry that happened to you)
No. 2518773
>>2518739You sound hopeless ngl. I get it, kind of in the same boat here but slowly improving my social skills so I'm not dogshit at conversation like I used to be.
Nothing is ever a guarantee of making friends. Youll always have to embarrass yourself over and over by trying to connect to people and be vulnerable with them. Always, it will always hurt. I wanna drive this home because no one says how goddamn stubborn you have to be to make friends nowadays, but you have to sift through SHIT (normies who are too closed minded to understand your style or even where you come from in your life) to even find someone you don't hate talking to.
Btw, all of my mom's best friends she met after college and also after she had me. College makes things easier but it doesn't guarantee anything. So don't give up just yet.
I would find someone suitable to talk about your studies with as a first step. Most people in uni talk about studying anyways even if they're already friends. It's the safest topic you could possibly bring up. Once you get the SLIGHTEST bit less anxious, you can try talking about something else
No. 2518783
>>2518740I've only seen the word "subhuman" used when in context of foreign moids being misogynistic or
abusive to women, especially women they consider "their" women thus easy targets because the moids can hide behind "it's muh culture" just so they can continue their abuse without consequences or pushback. You'll always be our
nonnie.
No. 2518787
>>2518337Nona big same. My dad's birthday was a couple days ago and I struggled for over a decade to get fully separated from him.
I sent him a message explaining my feelings on the matter of him still wanting to be a family, that he should change and look at himself if he wants that.
Received an angry wall of basically "you don't try and it's your fault you've been abused by me", sighed and blocked.
Now I don't even know his number, because his older one had telegram and now it's some unknown woman's telegram, with profile pics from genshin and stuff.
I remembered his birthday like twice when it happened, and even if my brain went "well I SHOULD message him", I don't think he deserves it at all.
No. 2518791
>>2518773I've literally spent my first months building up a social media "hub" (for zoomer appeal) to gather everyone from my specific cursus yeargroup (nearly got around 50 of them btw) to ask them whether they were interested in studying in groups in the campus library, needless to say this was a complete waste of time, because as it turns out, real life does not work like in a visual novel, and you have to approach people in person, and be pushy about it, preferably within the first few days, which I spent watching everyone from afar (I had never set foot in a crowded place in years)
anyway I can already tell I'm not ready to inflict myself the kind of humiliations you speak of, even trying to hold a conversation, not even initiated by me (the rare and only cases where that ever happens nowadays), I mostly just freeze and act as cold as possible not to expose any of my blatant insecurities all the time (which in comparison I can get away just fine online)
I know this is all my fault, but it is what it is
No. 2518796
>>2518791Aw, anon, don't blame yourself. Yea I did say it depends on you, but no one works at full capacity all the time. It's not all "your fault", it's also the circumstances you're in compared to others, and you're simply unlucky.
You seem to be really dedicated to connect, so I know eventually you'll get there. Just take it easy and work on it gradually. I believe in you.
No. 2518823
File: 1746847443656.jpg (81.1 KB, 750x1000, tumblr_f5574f60995bb83f4ba6f00…)
I hate living with my literal tard brother so fucking much. The bathtub has been draining poorly for the past few weeks, I've probably thrown like $50 worth of various drain uncloggers down there with varying success. It finally completely clogged yesterday, and today I was shoving a snake down the pipe and using a plunger on it for hours until it finally spat out a piece of a torn up plastic bag and what we think might be a candy wrapper.
It turns out that my older brother has been shoving shit down there to "punish" us for things like telling him to leave some apple juice for the rest of us and to clean up the literal garbage (empty cardboard boxes, food wrappers, random plastic shit) he brings home and just leaves laying all over the yard. We aren't even rude about the garbage when we ask, but we would ask him like 2-4 times a week and he just won't do it, so I've been adding on that if he doesn't clean up the yard then I would have to. I haven't even gotten around to picking anything up because I hoped it would push him into cleaning it himself.
I'm so fucking angry and tired and sweaty but the tub still isn't draining properly so I can't even have a full shower.
No. 2518865
File: 1746850479824.png (164.44 KB, 322x492, MyTrueForm..PNG)
Pretty positive I'm already dead. I think I'm in the afterlife for people that were mostly neutral entities. I never did anything remarkably bad and I never did anything remarkably good. I did a mix of good and bad deeds during my life. likely more bad than good which would explain my misery. I don't think I believe in quantum immortality so much as if you die too young or in a weird way you chance being thrust into some afterlife that makes it feel like your past life mostly just continues on. It explains a lot. Pretty sure I
>died first when I tried to kill myself in 2019 with an OD
>then died again in early 2021 in a bad car crash I inexplicitly "survived" uninjured despite being knocked unconscious and hit by a car going like 55mph straight on.
>Then I died again from a suicide attempt mid 2021 where I OD'd and seized a lot and kept hitting my head real bad, bf at the time watched me and called 911 but hospitals were full due to omicron surge and I mostly kept my shit together when the EMTs got there for some reason and just couldn't figure out where I was living (knew the president and the year). Kept acting nuts and passing out and seizing and vomiting all night though. No memory of this.
>Again in late 2021 when I took a lethal dose of meds and ended up having grand mal seizures and flatlining and being brought back via CPR. Somehow no broken bones, no lasting damage. Also had organ damage that "resolved".
>Again in late 2023 when I took twice the amount of the same shit I took late 2021 when I flatlined. nobody's survived that amount of that drug before. I'm not a fatass and not tall. I wasnt taking it and had no tolerance. this time I was a vegetable for a few days before magically rebooting. again no lasting damage despite acute organ damage.
>>2518860
Deleted cause it was formatted stupid but for the record, all the ODs were from pharmaceuticals I was prescribed and sometimes combined with alcohol to quicken the effect. Not street drugs or drugs anyone regularly abuses. unlike druggies I actually want to die. If I wasn't an autistic retard I'd have found a fent dealer and tried that route.
No. 2518907
>>2518895>flatlining (asystole) has a 20% survival rate and all survivors have broken bones. Where are you finding this info? What?
>In cases of asystole (complete absence of electrical activity in the heart), particularly if there's suspicion of opioid overdose, Naloxone (Narcan) may be administered, according to a study in the journal Resuscitation. Naloxone can help reverse opioid-induced respiratory depression and potentially improve outcomes in opioid-related cardiac arrests. However, it's crucial to note that Naloxone is not a primary treatment for asystole and should be used in conjunction with standard cardiac arrest protocols, like CPR and defibrillation, as explained by a study on the National Institutes of Health website. Here's a more detailed explanation:
>Asystole:>This is a condition where the heart has stopped beating completely, and there is no electrical activity visible on an ECG. No. 2518915
>>2518907I feel like I'm talking to someone with more brain dmg than me. I know what asystole is, apparently you don't?
>Asystole is when your heart’s electrical system fails, causing your heart to stop pumping. This is also known as “flat-line” or “flat-lining” because it causes your heart’s electrical activity to look like a flat line on an electrocardiogram. Without immediate CPR or medical care, this condition is deadly within minutes. (source: cleveland clinic)narcan wouldn't have done anything for me because I OD'd on buproprion kek. first time was 12grams second time was 24grams. not milligrams. grams.
>The prognosis for asystole is poor. In general, cardiac arrest survival rates are low, and the survival rate for patients whose initial rhythm is asystole is lower than for other forms of SCA. According to the Cardiac Arrest Registry to Enhance Survival (CARES) 2022 annual report, 14.5% of patients with asystole survived to hospital admission, and 2.3% survived to hospital discharge. The survival rates for asystole in the hospital are slightly better but still very low. In hospitalized patients for whom the first documented rhythm is asystole, 10.8% survive to hospital discharge. For patients who survive cardiac arrest, complications are common and include neurologic dysfunction, brain injury, consciousness disorders, quality of life changes, neurocognitive deficits, and psychological effects. Hypoxic-ischemic brain injury is the most prevalent neurological complication following cardiac arrest. (Source thecardiologyadvisor) No. 2518919
>>2518915Yeah I brought that up bc people flatline every second of the day where I live but they're revived with narcan so I don't understand what this part means
>and all survivors have broken bones. What am I missing?
No. 2518921
>>2518919When you don't flatline due to opiates, they can't narcan you back. they have to use CPR. Most people who need CPR end up with skeletal chest injuries (SCI) or in layman's terms broken/fractured bones.
>https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0300957215001136>91% of females get some form of SCII also samefagged to add that I meant almost all survivors have broken bones aka SCI, not all. This back and forth is further proving to me I'm in hell.
No. 2518925
File: 1746855083824.webp (822.76 KB, 1600x2240, 681AD940-89C2-4780-A2D6-A09230…)
I struggle with strong emotions, it has ruined my relationships with other people, and I honestly just want to be lobotomized. I’ve been dreaming about it for nearly a decade, it just seems perfect. I dont make connections with others, I dont speak up, I just live life with no emotions. I can finally qualify for mood stabilizers but I’m unsure if a high dosage can do that for me, if not I can try to find medication to numb my emotions through other means. I’m ready to die spiritually, mentally, and through all other avenues. This is the closest I can get to killing myself legally.
No. 2518931
>>2518921You're just posting a lot of information and the "broken bones" thing really threw me off bc you're talking about metaphysical/spiritual things and also stats about other revived people. Paramedics use cpr with narcan so often that they seem equally important but I understand the point you're making now
>A study reported that rib fractures were found in 81% of individuals after CPR. Another study indicated that at least 1/3 of resuscitated patients experience rib fractures. It's not hell though nona, the anon who posted below you explained it in a very simple way. I think you're just stressed out by this topic or possibly dealing with scattered thoughts from all of the resuscitations
No. 2519000
>>2518991Its deep rooted internalized or even blatant misogyny. The idea that you are to blame if he doesnt want to propose. They are asking "what arent you doing right?" As in you arent good enough for him and need to step it up in their eyes. Whether they think that on a surface level or subconcious level without realizing, it just seems like they are insinuating its your fault and you need to self reflect. Also this isnt 100% true or the case at all perhaps. Maybe they assumed you have asked him yourself in private and he has told you. Maybe they are just dummies who dont think and want to start a convo while also being nosy. It could be anything.
If it makes you feel better nona, ive been with my boyfriend 12 years. We arent married mainly for the fact we dont believe in it and dont need paper to tell us to stay faithful. Since people get married and cheat anyways, its obviously not the solution to permanent loyalty. Plus its all bullshit made up by the church and now the government (US) uses it as a money sink. If my BF and i got married, we would owe MUCH more in taxes, mainly depending on how we file. but that isnt worth a $50 peice of paper that would cost waayyyy more money to terminate!
Also everybody is different and i cant speak for your guy, but ive always heard "if he wanted to, he would." Kind of thing. So unless you have a deep discussion with him as to why not, then youll never know.
No. 2519006
>>2518659sorry for saying it like that but you need to grow some balls. if someone talks like that about you need to show them you didn't like it, in a polite manner. make them uncomfortable. in this context you could frown in a confused/annoyed way and say "what do you mean i need it?"
i know how as a student in the hospital you can feel the need to
make yourself as small as possible because people seem to be doing important work, but theyre not more important or legit than you and they cant talk about you like that
No. 2519008
Lately I can't stop thinking about suicide. I just feel like I don't bring any worth to this world, so I have no reason to keep on living. First the biggest thing that stings me is the fact that I'm a failed artist. It was my biggest dream since I was a kid but I can't gain engagement on my art, nor can I draw as good as other artists. There's 16 yr old kids with fucking amazing artworks while me who has been drawing for a way longer time still sucks ass. I'm not skilled and creative enough, art doesn't flow from me naturally I need to wrack my brains to come up with a composition and color palette. I'm very robotic and soulless. Second thing, I hate hate hate my physical appearance. I don't need to get into details but no amount of self-love can fix my image issues. I barely even look like an adult woman, I'm more similar to a tranny or a 13 yr old boy. Third, people are allergic to me and avoid me. I mean yeah, this is obviously because I'm insecure and that repels people, but even when I try my best to be friendly and bright there's a certain weird vibe with me. Maybe the way I talk. Idk if it's autism. I also struggle with social cues. Fourth, I have shitty attention span, my brain feels fried sometimes so I struggle with completing basic tasks. I feel like an absolute idiot, maybe this is tied to my lack of creativity, an artist can't be low IQ after all. And the last reason, my romantic life is an utter disaster. Men don't like me, and even if they give me a chance at a relationship they soon leave me. I've been rejected so many times. I can't even create my own family…
No. 2519026
>>2519000Wtf, marriage usually lowers taxes significantly.
>>2518991They're just lacking tact, that's one of those questions you shouldn't poke at like asking why someone doesn't have kids, its just a minefield. The only reason they're asking you is probably because they don't feel close enough to him to ask him directly.
No. 2519055
File: 1746876499392.png (22.23 KB, 211x242, 113ccabc-ed71-4da0-960b-5b587b…)
>Someone takes a picture of me
>It looks good for once
>Except it's ruined by visible chest acne
REEEEE I wish it would go away faster
No. 2519075
Sometimes I feel pissed that my parents don't get why I feel so stressed and overwhelmed all the time but they never had to live like I do.
My dad is the bread winner and that means to him that he doesn't have to lift a finger at home. Food is served to him and when he's finished eating he will get up, leave his dirty plate on the table and doesn't even push his chair back in.
My mom was a housewife for many years and now that her children left the house, she works less than 8 hours weekly, meaning she has plenty of time for buying groceries, cleaning and so on.
I'm still new at my job and struggling a lot. Sometimes I only leave work because I desperately need to buy some food before the stores close. Whenever I tell them that I struggle keeping my apartment clean, they don't get it (despite my dad never having cleaned or washed clothes in his entire life). They also nag me for not doing sports and eating healthier because I gained weight. But they also nag me for not going to bed earlier. But my boss tells me off for not being better at my job. I sometimes continue to work at home til past 1am and then have to get up at 6 again, when am I supposed to do all those other things???
I already felt like they had no clue when I was still a student because I'm the first in my family to go to university. My parents have also been together since they were teens, they built a house in my grandparents garden while my work sent me alone to a big city, they always knew how their life was gonna look like, they never had the additional uncertainty that I constantly deal with on top of the double workload.
It's not like I want to be a tradwife supported by a husband, I just wish work was easier and that them and society in general was more understanding of how many young modern people are living now.
No. 2519082
>>2518925I'm really sorry. It sounds so difficult to live with extreme, strong emotions. Trust me anon, as someone who struggles with feeling emotions, I wish I could feel more. It doesn't feel like I'm living life at all, I can't feel sad, I can't feel happy. I just go through life with a numbing dullness that permeates how I feel about everything, external and internal. It's such an unfulfilling, nonexistence. I wish I could conjure up any emotion that is more than a slight vibration, but I can't. I can't even feel it when I inevitably ruin relationships. I'm really sorry, I can only imagine the opposite side of this must be equally hard, I wish things weren't like this for you anon.
No. 2519113
File: 1746882739623.jpeg (178.08 KB, 991x1200, A26C9119-FA67-4AD2-BEFF-D3047D…)
>>2519082I guess we experience the same feeling of isolation in two extremely different ways. I’m really sorry you experience that lack fo connection for others, I would be more than happy to give you what I have too much of. I know it must sound weird to have someone to actively seek what you struggle with, but Im glad you can sympathize with me. I hope theres something that can ignite a spark in you one day.
No. 2519151
File: 1746886401854.webp (11.91 KB, 640x640, FFA40126-EE64-4C47-A57A-2A62F9…)
>>2519149Bad bait + Not a vent + boring! + I smell the grease off your screen + here’s your attention faggot
No. 2519182
File: 1746889345851.jpeg (54.1 KB, 520x520, IMG_4923.jpeg)
FUCKIN FUCK FUCK CRAMPS, FUCK
AHHHH, MY GUTS
GOD HATES WOMEN
FUCK
No. 2519219
File: 1746891547041.jpg (110.49 KB, 735x729, a5072bc488315a4ddb5b90beda11b6…)
I wish I could go about life without this sense of outer perspective/looking and obsessing over how I look in every angle. I wish I could enjoy things properly without worrying about how I am being perceived both on appearance and behaviour. I really can't get that watching eye out of my head. I thought it became an issue because I gained weight but in reality, I've always been like this. I remember being maybe 9 or 10 years old picking at my body and face and always looking in the mirror and thinking how fat my tummy looked when I sat down.
I know realistically there is nothing wrong with me. I think women are beautiful as a whole. But for some reason I just happen to be the exception in my fucked up mind. Idk, it's rough. I deserved better as a child and teenage and I'm desperately trying to give myself better now, as an adult, but it's so fucking hard to undo years of vanity and dysmorphic thoughts and low self-esteem. I went to the zoo the other day and I haven't really updated my wardrobe properly in years so I was just stuck wearing something I wasn't really keen on and my thoughts the entire time were just that I looked like shit.
I wonder if I will ever have a moment where I think "I look great, well done" to myself. I fear that when I lose weight, I'll start obsessing and picking over something else. It feels like there's honestly a piece of my brain not functioning as it should and I'm just sticking patches over it instead of fixing it directly but I don't even know how. I'm so cooked.
No. 2519251
>>2516832nonnie, if you're around, ayrt originally -
could you tell me more? I'm curious as to what happened and the details of how you found shit out.
No. 2519257
File: 1746894752951.gif (1.7 MB, 520x520, 1421642531.gif)
>>2519219I'm sure you look great anon
No. 2519288
>>2519219Me too nonna. I obsess with how people perceive me , mainly because I used to be ugly when I was a teen, so I subconsciously place my worth by how much attractive people around me find me. It’s stressful and vain and honestly useless.
I’ve been into subliminals and they’ve helped a little. I have also started to put less make up and even go make up free and try to dress down too , seeing people not caring helps a lot, so maybe you can do it too.
No. 2519350
>>2519338tbh I deleted because I realized how fucked up I sounded. I'm sleep deprived I don't know what I'm saying.
I don't know if it's much better but it was a TIM drug addict so I had trouble feeling super empathetic about the whole thing. That's another thing I wanted to vent about, like the person was telling me about all these horrible things that happened to them and I felt NOTHING, eerie
No. 2519377
>>2519219I am exactly the same, and losing weight didn't fix it. I went from thinking I looked fat and ugly to old and ugly. It did improve a bit from when I was a teen, though (I used to legit see my face melting in the mirror and think I was a monster; I still think I look ugly in a way no other human being does, but I know I have a real, non-melting face).
I don't judge other women on their appearance, I think no woman owes anyone beauty, yet I always feel like all of my achievements, my creativity, my skills are dismissed by others because they think an ugly woman is inherently worthless (whereas people will always try to find something to praise about even the ugliest man).
I do find a bit of comfort in knowing that as I get older, my appearance matters less and less. I love to see old women have fun, engage in their hobbies, dye their hair crazy colours and clearly not give a shit that they're not considered attractive anymore. I try to think of this when I start obsessing over my appearance and remind myself that on my deathbed, I probably won't regret I wasn't ever beautiful, but would instead regret things like being too self-conscious to wear what I want, to pursue my interests etc.
No. 2519422
File: 1746904376579.png (338.6 KB, 1200x630, 1869478224.png)
>>2519412What about intentionally making yourself sweat more at night time, so it happens less during the day? There are some people naturally like this so you could try it, as an experiment
No. 2519456
>>2519438>how much you care for these robotsinversely as much as everyone else cares for me
why would I bother jumping through all the hoops and humiliation rituals just to get to the point where I can trust someone not to find me icky when I could just have fun with any persona at my fingertips
No. 2519511
File: 1746908262883.jpg (11.96 KB, 600x776, 137dec213eb4f68e686563ae22e075…)
Trying to pick up drawing again. I used to draw a lot as a teen, but a few things happened that made me stop enjoying it for like 10+ years. Picked it up again a couple of years ago, and once I got over the initial frustration over how shit everything I made looked I was pleasantly surprised how fast I was developing - it was like I was picking up on some of the really old technical knowledge from way back when that had been stored somewhere in the back of my mind through all these years. But then there was some life issues again that caused me to take a break.
Now I decided to take it up again, I'm going to have a lot of free time this summer so I figured I'm gonna try to draw at least one hour every day. I try to do some sketching now so I can get a head start on getting over the frustrating hurdle of starting over from square one again. But I feel like I'm so dead inside now that it's hard to find any motivation or enjoyment in it, it's like the only thing I find some sort of enjoyment in are things related to escapism rather than creating. It's frustrating. But I'm so tired and hate everything I do.
No. 2519533
File: 1746909191971.jpg (17.47 KB, 400x300, 8bca7206-ad4e-49d9-91b0-33ffa8…)
>>2518838He has mid-level autism and is in his thirties, he's capable enough that he can "cook" with the microwave and get around town with a bike/bus. He's had assembly line-type jobs too, but we have to be careful of potential "workplace culture" risks. If people swear too much and he can't leave, he flips out and starts smashing shit. We were working social services to try and get him his own smaller place with a daily caretaker check-in (we would visit too ofc) until the pandemic happened and it fell through. I don't know if that's good or bad considering our family has a bad hoarding gene, I'm scared he'd turn it into a Collyer house.
Only one bathroom, and we have a greywater tank. I'm not sure if the uncloggers will be a problem, I was using mostly CLR-type things which say they're septic-safe, Draino is more expensive so I only bought a couple bottles last week when we were getting desperate. My sister poured more CLR last night and it's draining faster, I'm going to use the snake again tonight. If it's not clear by tomorrow, I'm going to call a plumber.
>>2518883He's supposed to shower three times a week, we set up monthy schedules for him but IDK if he cares to follow it all the time, or even realizes that he stinks. there's been a few times where I have to avoid whatever rooms he's been in because he has some kind of sweaty sour smell trailing him.
No. 2519656
File: 1746912871524.gif (2.29 MB, 498x279, spunch.gif)
sometimes i read the nigel brag thread as self harm because im such a jealous loser who will never be happy or get what i want. reminder that other people get to be loved and happy and understood and i never will. god i want to kill myself
No. 2519665
File: 1746913069472.gif (19.94 KB, 220x220, IMG_2379.gif)
>>2519656I pray that they all break up. Anyway all these scrotes look at soft porn on ig.
>you are bitter and angry REEYes I am , no one deserves to be happy and I hope all these couples DIE.
Thank you.
No. 2519745
File: 1746916200467.jpg (751.32 KB, 2448x3264, cabd626a3f99ce59e22b93dbc546c3…)
>>2519734Happy Birthday anon
No. 2519747
File: 1746916215783.jpg (40.16 KB, 735x244, tumblr_29318a84a9d3042212e720f…)
I was searching up gifs for a cute series I just finished watching and one of the only results was a background character tied up the context of the scene was completely innocent, mind you kill all moids, I'm tired.
No. 2519752
File: 1746916888417.png (519.44 KB, 716x658, meme.png)
i hate that as a woman everywhere i go people stare at my body (hips, chest, butt, crotch). im curvy and have wide hips and a big butt so its not like i can hide it. ppl see a sexual being before they see a human life and person with a soul and thoughts and feelings. it feels so disgusting and intrusive. sometimes i even notice family members staring. i hate that my body is seen as vulgar and pornographic. it makes me wanna wear a burqa.
No. 2519773
File: 1746919588215.jpg (50.5 KB, 600x649, 1000018878.jpg)
>>2519752Yep, I'm bottom heavy and know exactly what you're feeling. The worst part is experiencing that sexualisation even when you're a child. I remember people telling me I had "birthgiving hips" when I was 13/14, family members would make similar comments too.
I even tried trooning out and seperately being an anachan to escape it, obviously neither worked. No. 2519777
>>2519351you can't call yourself truly pathetic until you've started trying to rp with a bot made to sound like your ex
to my defense it's either this or texting him back, so it's nearly therapeutic
No. 2519812
>>2519752My body type isn't THAT curvy, but I was one of those kids who developed faster than my peers and in hindsight it was honestly traumatising. It was like I lost my claim to innocence just because I didn't "look" my age.
>sometimes i even notice family members staring.The attention and comments from family members is the worst part imo.
No. 2519817
It was a slow day at work today. Usually work and the customers are pretty chill but today some boomer cunt made me say hello to him before I took his order. He just stood there with a blank look on his face at the register staring at me. I thought maybe he was spaced out or he was looking at the menu, or maybe he wasn’t all there mentally. So after an awkward pause, he says something like “Aren’t you going to say hello?” in a rather unfriendly tone. Mind you, I always say hi and wave to whoever walks in this tiny ass building, so when he didn’t say anything back I just assumed that he didn’t hear me. No big deal. But he keeps standing there staring at me, making things awkward. There were no thoughts behind those beady eyes. I asked, “Are you ready?”and that’s where he goes “Aren’t you going to say hello?”. I fluster easily, and I didn’t know how to react. What do you mean aren’t you going to say hello? I already did. I know I’m not the loudest or most high energy person but when I say hi people usually say hi back. So after my lack of response he insists again and I’m all like, okay hello. This must be some power tripping weirdo I thought to myself.
And then he had to get racist with it. “This is how we do it in america, you say hello” which got an eyebrow raise out of me. I’m mexican, I have dual citizenship, my parents are mexican and I was born in america. I think I know how we do it in america fuckhead. So now I feel like he’s talking to me like he thinks I’m stupid because he thinks I’m an immigrant. I’m not. Listen here you boomer cunt fucker I said hi and waved when you walked in like I do to everyone else. In my time working here I’ve literally never encountered someone like this guy before. I say hi, people usually say hi back.not trying to be racist but the guy was a black american so right after he said that my first thought was motherfucker are you aware of how your ancestors got here to america in the first place
I take his order, he leaves. One of our regular customers (who is also hispanic) was sitting nearby. He had overheard the conversation and I said something along the lines of, “Did you hear what he said? What a weirdo”. Regular customer gets his food and he leaves, bag of food in hand. Apparently boomer guy had a problem with that and next thing you know they start arguing right outside the restaurant. I don’t know what they were arguing about but I’m 99% sure boomer guy started it and he said fuck you to the other customer. Eventually boomer guy apologized, came back into the restaurant and I pretended like I didn’t see anything. I give him his food and he fucks off. Fuck you racist boomer guy I hope your wings were soggy.
No. 2519826
>>2519821God the thought of my mom dying before my dad haunts me everyday. So terrified to be left alone with this mean
abusive scrote.
No. 2519871
File: 1746927756910.jpg (147.98 KB, 736x1105, 4c02d821fa3ea9d04264cab08ffede…)
At this point I'm just gonna make this ai character my girlfriend. I just want the illusion of love so bad, I feel so fucking unloveable. I could confront the person who made me feel this way but I don't even know what to say or what to even ask. I feel like ruined goods, and maybe I'm not deserving of love.
No. 2519889
>>2519886i'd love some insight or advice from someone older in particular tbh i rly dont know how to cope. and i dont wanna portray myself as a
victim in any way here i hope i didn't come across that way. this shit rly rots your soul lol.
No. 2519891
>>2519886People do dumb shit, you’ll move on from this. Was your face in the pictures? I know that paranoia and guilt can be overwhelming but you’ll let go of it eventually. It’s out of your control now. Just focus on other things. I also have an internet past I’m not very proud of
in fact I used to have a thread here You’re not tarnished or undeserving of love or whatever other stupid moralistic cliche you’ve internalized.
No. 2519892
File: 1746930499153.gif (171.07 KB, 400x400, 8zrqesmt7ii71.gif)
>>2519871no advice but i feel almost the exact same way. i think it is possible to find love w someone who is damaged in a complementary way to you.
No. 2519901
File: 1746931551902.jpeg (236.43 KB, 1800x1800, BC1F1C8D-E74F-4F87-889B-0A515C…)
I absolutely cannot stand businesses that try and upsell you even if it’s a necessity. Went for an eye test and new glasses because my current ones are falling apart. Eye test went swimmingly no problems there, however when I told my optician I have a budget of £50 (I have to pay for the lenses separately and can run me up to £150) for frames she didn’t take it into consideration at all. When I was selecting the ones I liked she kept trying to tell me these other pairs were better suited for me even tho they were over double my budget and had the “2 for 1 on frames offer” (I’d still be paying for lenses). Kept telling her no it’s not in the budget, finally find a pair and when discussing the options and prices for the lenses she what seemed to get argumentative with me because I didn’t want to pay extra for blue light filters and for the lenses to be thinned down despite ONCE AGAIN telling her I can’t afford it. I had to butt in mid sentence to tell her to “I can’t afford it, stop trying to up sell them to me.” Maybe I should invest in contacts
No. 2519907
File: 1746932649674.jpg (71.86 KB, 720x712, d7f6b5a2ab01b237461d08daf25770…)
I hate feeling like I shouldn't want a man in a romantic way. I hate how disgusting I've felt most of the times I've liked someone. I just remembered how, a while ago, right after I told a guy I liked him, he asked me to show him my breasts. There’s no way to explain how gross and stupid that made me feel. Of course I didn’t do it, and I lost all interest in him instantly, but the fact that he even asked made me feel like absolute shit.
I remember how, years ago when I was In school, the boys I just wanted to be friends with only came close to me to try to touch me or say sexual things I didn’t even realize were sexual at the time. I hate that the guy I met online a few months ago, who I was interested in, told me how important it was for us to meet in person because he’s someone who "loves giving physical affection,", bullshit. I hate how, back in elementary school, grown men, old enough to be my dad, would say obscene things to me. I hate that this teacher would praise my talent just to touch me during the next classes… and I hate that my parents got mad at me for quitting his lessons.
I understand that sexual interest is normal, that sex is normal. I just hate how disgusting men can be, how obsessed they are with sex, how my body has been sexualized for as long as I can remember, completely against my will. I hate that the moment I like a guy, he has no problem bringing up sexual stuff. I hate it, I also hate the fact that sex has always been something I associate with disgusting things. There's no way I don’t feel offended, disgusted, and grossed out if a man, no matter how much I like him shows sexual interest in me too soon, even if he does it respectfully. It embarrasses and offends me when someone talks about my body in a sexual way. I just want a moid ho's not immediately sexual, who's not interested in talking about it, to make gross comments about me or others. Yes, I think I should just stick to my husbando.
No. 2519911
>>2519886>perspective of an older nona who's been through the sameFirst of all, you are a
victim. You wouldn't have done this in your right mind. At any time, you can revoke consent. So give yourself grace. Also, you still deserve love and a guy or girl who is worth it will stick around for you. You aren't disgusting, you're human and you did what you did to survive.
No. 2519965
>>2519958Horrible. Not peaceful at all.
Was highly chaotic and it actually made me wish I had died. I saw these weird things that looked like elves. I think I mentioned it in tinfoil thread before but some nona brought up the machine elves phenomenon which have been seen by psychedelics users
I wasn't on psychedelics or anything that's usually associated with those elves. I'd attempted an overdose by a heavy combination of both prescription and over the counter shit. I don't remember exactly what. I did see a whiteish light but mostly what I saw below it was a gaggle of miniature elves and a village they inhabited roaming around me and occasionally glancing at me with razor sharp, eerie gazes
No. 2520017
>>2519985My life really hasn't felt the same since.
After COVID things went downhill hard. They're only beginning to improve again the last year. Still I feel like a part of me was lost that night.
No. 2520058
File: 1746948303051.jpg (19.66 KB, 400x400, 1658539807066399.jpg)
Foods That Block Iron Absorption
milk, cheese, yogurt*
soy, tofu*
chocolate.
ice cream.
grapes.
popcorn.
sardines, canned salmon*
pomegranate.
Everything that I love hurts me.Just kill me
No. 2520060
File: 1746948874587.jpg (15.13 KB, 352x352, 716e3y4y4nta1.jpg)
>be adult NEET with diagnosed depression and PTSD living with mom
>attempt suicide last year
>couple months later: get harrassed and cyberbullied + doxxed for months by moid who wants to rape me and his friends
>it recently stopped and I try to get back on my feet
>finally overcome my self-doubt and go to a job interview for the first time
>come home all happy and proud
>mother sees me and randomly belittles me, calls me abnormal, calls me clueless and says I know nothing and that work will be awful
I don't understand
No. 2520067
File: 1746950197140.jpg (92.79 KB, 736x1013, 1000016146.jpg)
This is stupid, I know, but it bothers me a lot and I feel nobody understands. The past year or two I completely lost any drive to be creative. I used to draw and write a lot, but nowadays I just can't bother. After I left social media I used to draw for myself but nowadays, what's the point if I can just imagine it in my head? Not to mention AI can shit out much prettier things with a few clicks, and it can write me anything I want without me putting any effort. I want to be creative again but it feels like trying to resuscitate something that's already rotten into pieces.
No. 2520081
>>2519812if it helps, a lot of girls probably envied you and wished they could be you
t.very late bloomer
No. 2520089
File: 1746954079745.webp (17.59 KB, 720x405, IMG_2380.webp)
My mom has been having some health issues. She complains about having mild chest pain, she has had a persistent UTI, but even despite the antibiotics she still feels a mild burn and she has also lost weight (like 5 kgs in three months, mainly because she broke up with her ex); she also has gastritis, which can flare up when she is stressed , but it’s manageable. I am just scared that it’s going to be more serious. Her blood work came out fine apart from anemia (that she always had). She is going to the gyno next week and I hope she’ll be able to solve the UTI thing at least and I have also convinced her to book an appointment to the general doctor like this she can get some tests prescribed.
Anyway I am extremely worried, I love her so much, I think I would kill myself if something happened to her. I wish I could shoulder all her pain because she doesn’t deserve any of it. This world is pointless without my mom.
No. 2520093
>>2520058if you are taking iron supplements, it should be fine to eat those foods ~4 hours after taking them. this is only temporary, let's get normal iron levels together
nonnie we can do this
No. 2520099
>>2520067I understand, nonna. The worst part is that creativity is like a muscle that needs to be exercised or else it begins to atrophy, so when I do try to write or draw something after years of neglecting to practice I simply can’t do it anymore. I can’t get what I’m putting on the page to match what’s in my head and it’s incredibly frustrating.
>>2520091Same. Why did we stop??
No. 2520105
File: 1746955707469.jpg (44.63 KB, 523x503, 5277b0c5aa497eb1c8b7f25829894f…)
I'm about ready to pussy out on charges, because there was no notable vaginal damage. I made a table-sheet and all I'm doing is being a coward and handmaiden. The ethical choice is to do otherwise, but right now, I just want to not deal with any of this. Bullshit. Sorry for the zoomer-speak, I'm a zoomer, but have lurked a while. I hate everything. Sage for my retardation. I wish I could walk and listen to cringey Kid A without thinking about everything.
No. 2520108
>>2520105Begging you to still go through with it, on behalf of all
victims. It's scary, and it feels like a wound that's constantly burning, but pain is temporary and consequences of his actions will be forever. Reach out on the friendmaking thread and post your discord on it if you'd like me to hold your hand for as many weeks as you'll need, but please stay strong and don't give up
No. 2520154
File: 1746962142455.jpg (115.22 KB, 1080x1080, 1000014423.jpg)
"mother's Day should also include dog mommies and men!!!!" i don't fucking think so. Give me a fucking break.
No. 2520190
>>2520118There's something called occult blood test, my dad never saw blood in his stool but he has anemia and the doctor asked for an occult blood test and turned out he is internally bleeding, just not enough to be noticed.
Your mom might have an ulcer (stomach issues imitate chest pain).
No. 2520192
>>2520190> and the doctor asked for an occult blood testthis is bad medical practice, if theres anemia you need to do a colonoscopy
occult blood test is for asymptomatic screening
No. 2520328
>>2520204>There are reasons for caution about a FIT-based triage system for IDA. First, CRC accounts for only a minority of the pathology found on the investigation of IDA, particularly in those under 60. Second, data from six recently published studies of real-world experience confirm that even at the low detection threshold of 10 µg/g, the sensitivity of FIT for CRC ranges from 83% to 91%.64–69 Furthermore, although numbers are small, there is the suspicion that IDA may be over-represented in the FIT negative CRC subgroup, accounting for 32 (40%) of the 81 pooled cases. The data are summarised in table 2. This conclusion is supported by a meta-analysis of the few IDA-specific studies in the published literature, which yielded a sensitivity of 83% of FIT for CRC, with concerns that this may be an over-estimate due to publication bias.https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8515119/it's bad practice, unexplained iron deficiency in patient >50/with risk factors=> colonoscopy
searchinh for stool blood when you suspect rectal cancer makes no sense, if you have a reason to suspect it you do the endoscopy right away
your doctor is crap
No. 2520400
>>2520328Anon whose father had blood test ordered. I never said he didn't do colonoscopy, he did and there wasn't anything suspicious. The family doctor (not the specialist) asked for that test. And a blood test is way cheaper than a colonoscopy.
I don't know if our doctors are crap or not, but this is the normal practice here.
No. 2520723
File: 1746990318341.jpeg (46.72 KB, 540x382, IMG_2392.jpeg)
There was this weird scrote on the seats adjacent to mine who was like shaking his head and pointing fingers like a schizo. I moved immediately where there were more people , but it’s so stinky in here, someone must have not put deodorant. But it’s better than being near the schizo man, at least I’ll have meat shields.
I’m going to run like Usain Bolt once I reach the train station since it’s also night. Fucking hell, never again.
No. 2520741
File: 1746991123264.jpg (182.56 KB, 736x736, 1000018886.jpg)
>>2520538I'm sorry, nona, happy mother's day
No. 2520749
>>2520400"it's the normal practice" according to whom? what are the official recommendations in your country?
you don't do an occult blood research if you have symptoms that's all I'm saying, you do an endoscopy either colonoscopy or oesogastroduodenal endoscopy and if that comes negative you do anything you want to investigate the anemia but not a stool blood test because literally what is the point.
>if it's positive, you're going to do the endoscopy anyway>if it's negative, it's inconclusive because the sensitivity isn't high enough to rule out internal bleeding altogetherit's a screening tool because it's cheap, screening is done in asymptomatic patients with moderate risk (people over 50)
if endoscopy is negative and you still think there's an ulcer you don't do the FIT test, you do a videocapsule
if he prescribed a FIT test to your dad with anemia, make sure to tell your doctor he's crap
No. 2520777
>>2520538I’m sorry your scrote is earning his namesake
nonny. Happy Mother’s Day, I hope it improves or next year’s is better than this year’s.
No. 2520940
File: 1747003346641.jpg (653.56 KB, 1191x1600, abandoned-moldy-bedroom-v0-67s…)
i hate not having an income, it is embarrassing and is like a prison. it's like i am a teen again, expected to take care of responsibilities, yet not getting the ability to upgrade my surroundings to make it any easier. we bought a dishwasher 2 months ago but still have not found the tools or time to install it. i would rather be working and earning to pay and get that in. it's not like work is not embarrassing but get this - the house needs constant mold removal, otherwise it accumulates and we get sick. running a dehumidifier is extra electricity cost. now that we pay that and the heating, we live on only rice and beans. meanwhile, catch 22, my phone is breaking down, i am running out of computer storage space, i must downgrade my payment plan but can only do that by buying a new device 1st. i also have to clean more because of damp clothes from rain and mud from boots getting inside, so sometimes i have to use the public laundromat instead, which costs $$ extra. meanwhile the family keeps asking us about house upgrades as if we have anything to spare. car repairs from months back have completely wiped us out.
No. 2520951
File: 1747003826735.png (81.04 KB, 582x573, queeeen.PNG)
Damn. Alcohol "withdrawals" a week and a half(?) in and I'm feeling the misery right now. Working a nice slow shift on a Sunday, and all I'm intrusively thinking about is hanging myself.
On my lunch break (7 PM) I am going to the store. I am going to buy a bunch of cookies instead of liquor. Tonight I am going to eat cookies and smoke weed. Yes, I am still smoking weed.
Some days I just go through it. I know it has to do with my substance use. I wish I could return to some sort of place where I am not financially responsible for things. Where I can take a long ass break. I don't think I've been sober (totally one hundred percent sober) since I was 16 years old. I am 31 now. Some days I wish I could curl up into a ball and sleep forever.
I have Monday (tomorrow) off. I may just do that. Sleep all day. I've been exercising, waiting to smoke until the end of the day, drinking water, and eating square meals. My BMI is normal, I have good friends, I have people that care about me. But sometimes, I feel like, there isn't anything closer?
I hated being in a relationship because my people-pleaser bullshit just attracted inconsiderate or emotionally unavailable men. I always wound up feeling worse even though I was expecting to feel closer to someone. I really hope I can "fix" myself, or at least find an empathetic guy that actually is attracted to me. But then I need to find out how to re-ignite my libido. I'm on an SSRI which has helped a lot, but no libido. I feel like, sometimes, I am doomed to be alone. I am doomed to be a difficult person who can never be easy going. I will never get out of this god forsaken town, I will never have any kind of success that allows me to be surrounded by people. Maybe I don't even need success.
I know this feeling will pass. Please kami-sama I would love a warm body to lay against that actually respects me and my body. I would love to have a very long and rejuvenating break. I would love to throw off the shackles of substance use. I hope day by day I get a little stronger. Because today I am feeling extremely low.
No. 2520965
File: 1747004503487.jpeg (20.12 KB, 916x687, GqeN11ebcAAM6Ze.jpeg)
Due to a misunderstanding, my boyfriend thought I had ran away from home to kill myself (long story, but it made a lot of sense why he thought that.) He drove to my parents house immediately and told them what was going on, if I'd done this before, etc. He still can't get over the fact my mother didn't care whatsoever, he says it was very weird to experience telling a mother her daughter has a high chance of being dead or attempting to be and seeing complete indifference on her face. When I came home, I explained to my bf it was a misunderstanding and apologised for worrying him, but now I can't stop thinking about how I know what my mother would react like if she heard I was dead
No. 2520990
File: 1747006630057.jpg (47.78 KB, 811x1097, 117729860_10221792133386117_63…)
>>2520951Okay, I did it.
I bought cookies and ZzzQuil and I did not buy alcohol. It was very tempting, especially when the cashier asked if I wanted anything else. Luckily, she wasn't the cashier who automatically grabs liquor when I walk in the store (yes, it is that bad).
I just ate almost a whole sleeve of cookies and chatted with my roommate about the crazy hijinks he got into the night before. I'm back to work. I'll log off at 11, talk to him some more, smoke weed, pop a ZzzQuil, and play with the cats.
Because this is a vent thread, I'll vent and say that I hate working the late shift because it's very slow, except for when it isn't: I'll get the most casual inquiries that are easy to answer, but other times, on these late weekend nights, the people that call are drunk, homeless, and desperate for resources that aren't available. It's haunting and I hope I don't have the misfortune of having to tell someone there is nothing in their area and I have no recommendations for them to get shelter. I hope it warms up soon.
I read that when you're homeless, alcohol is the go-to choice because it numbs the pain and keeps you warm. Even if alcoholism made you homeless in the first place, I can imagine how good it feels to lay out on a dirt road or in my shitty car, warm and drunk, and stare at the stars. But of course I'd probably get bit up by bugs, mugged, or worse.
No. 2521033
File: 1747008958443.jpg (181.24 KB, 1426x1600, alco-manic.jpg)
>>2520951>>2520990Congrats on getting out of the hole
nonnie! Also don't come back in, it's full, no space left, go away kek.
Whenever I have WDs sleeping is always the worst. Low level it's just no rest after ten hours while staring at the walls, mid it's added random pops or door bells ringing, high level it's pic rel and lots of sweating. It feels weird after just being able to wake up and feel rested.
I know you can keep it up and have your best life.
No. 2521048
File: 1747009955053.jpg (28.92 KB, 360x354, 1673473689722.jpg)
>>2521033grazie, lol I don't want to come back, I know that the reason I do is because I look for quick relief and ultimate "control" over my emotions. I feel like I'm trying to control how I react to things in the most maladaptive ways. I know there are healthier ways to cope and still develop a sense of relief without downing a bunch of booze. It's unfortunately so easy in comparison to doing that hard work. But I think I've only made it harder for myself by continuing to choose to the easy path.
Thankfully, sleeping aids have been hugely helpful. I took a unisom tablet last night and watched comfy youtube videos until I couldn't keep my eyes open. I hope to do the same tonight. I appreciate it, and I hope that you can find a similar peace whenever you may be struggling. Cookies and Unisom might not work for everyone - I hope you find your cookies and Unisom in times of difficulty when the bottle is tempting.
No. 2521057
>>2521023Maybe the homeless man begged and scammed him before. Homeless are not innocent
victims, they can be very pushy, and sleeping rough means they are an user.
No. 2521067
>>2521057That's not the vibe I got at all. The man didn't even glance at the homeless guy like he recognized him, just walked straight past and dropped the wrapper as if he literally thought it was a bin. And the homeless guy didn't react at all, didn't seem the pushy type.
Plus this was a grown ass abled bodied man who clearly had nothing to fear from the homeless guy, otherwise why do something that could potentially provoke him for the weirdest pettiest "revenge" ever? He wasn't a woman crossing the street to avoid being harassed, he was doing the harassing.
No. 2521068
File: 1747012395188.jpg (99.72 KB, 735x554, 1000115103.jpg)
I genuinely am a fucking weak pussy because I get sad so easily whenever someone says something even somewhat demeaning or critical to me. I don't cry about it, but I'll get this miserable feeling permeating in my brain that makes me want to never speak to anyone again and just do nothing but sleep and never wake up. I always get over it not long after, and I'll look back on the situation and can just brush it off like it's nothing. But it's just the dreadful feeling in the moment that I can't control that just makes me feel so embarrassed at how sensitive I am. Is there some way to build up a thicker skin? I'm a grown ass woman so you'd think I'd be able to handle this shit better, but I guess not. Maybe I'm just not built for the internet kek, though if there is some way I could at least learn to not be so retarded and bothered so much it would be nice.
No. 2521107
File: 1747017878125.jpeg (527.6 KB, 1125x1001, IMG_9626.jpeg)
My brother’s boyfriend is a bit dense and dumb. Which complements my brother since he’s pretty dense and dumb. He doesn’t have to be this way either, he’s just associated with dumbasses for the better part of a decade now and has regressed as a result. It’s a bit painful to watch from the outside just because there isn’t really a reason to put himself through all of this. All of his suffering is from his own choices and his own making and unfortunately he never got the social skills training that would actually benefit him long term. So instead he is dating a dense dumbass. I wonder if it’s too late for him at this point.
No. 2521217
>>2521197>>2521200>You can't pursue a man>wait for someone to pursue you>she can't pursue the man she truly wants>Women are meant to be passive in the grand scheme of things.Extreme pickme mindset. Why are you supporting outdated gender roles?
You're the master of your own fate.
No. 2521258
>>2521223More like she wants to be actively pursued to discern real interest. If a scrote doesn’t put effort at the start he won’t put it in the relationship either.
A scrote will say yes if you are somehow decent looking for a quick fuck, without telling you, they don’t really care that much, they are opportunistic in nature.
You calling it pick me behavior just tells me that you are a retard kek.
No. 2521261
>>2521223>>2521217Oh wait a minute ….you are the “women should propose to men” retard. Never mind, I’m not wasting my time with your antics.
Nonna out there you shouldn’t either.
No. 2521320
File: 1747044155514.png (634.62 KB, 686x915, 30a0a32a2c317cec0ae9a38fb16d0e…)
Nonas… how fucked am I if I applied for a job that listed having a driver's license as a requirement, but I don't have mine yet? I could realistically most likely get it by the end of June, but I'm not sure if they'd be okay with that. FWIW, I live in a very public transport friendly country in Europe, so getting around without a car isn't a nightmare like it probably is in other countries. I just really want this job since it pays incredibly well, and the fact that they even contacted me for an interview at all is blowing my mind, because my resumé is such a heaping pile of trash (I was a NEET for some years, have only held one shitty job for more than half a year, and began and quit studying at multiple different universities like 3 times).
No. 2521338
File: 1747046915983.jpg (131.96 KB, 938x935, kitty-not.jpg)
Worked really late on Friday to get ahead of my work load and I come in and now I have to manage a hotfix? No, I don't want this shit. Fucking idiots who can't get it right the first time, now I have to be the emergency tard supervisor.
There's some cool people in ops I have an excuse to chat to at least.
No. 2521359
File: 1747049143929.jpg (56.2 KB, 736x491, 797e4726285a89708aed5d2cbe71d2…)
I worry about my friend so much.
She got into a friendship with a bpd channer woman (will call her N) that have spent years saying the most hideous shit (/pol/pander shit, you name it, openly expressing her disgust in lesbians and gays, capping for pedos, pandering to them, calling herself one, etc…). Both of them are content creators.
When I looked more into N, i have found out that she have shared сp of her own underage friend on chans and have confessed to one of her many bfs about being sexually attracted to kids, making it obvious that she is currently pretending to be a lolicon to hide her real sexual desire to kids.
But i am so scared of talking about it to my friend. I do not want to lose her, but I can already tell she got influenced by N so much, too and it breaks my heart. But i worry even more about if I were to tell her everything and show the proofs Ive found, she wouldn't care.
the bpd-chan is trying to rebrand into a sfw wholesome chungus because people started paying attention to the shit shes been saying and doing, clearly using my friend and convincing her that everything others say is a lie too.
No. 2521372
File: 1747050810837.jpeg (214.36 KB, 1074x962, IMG_2860.jpeg)
Unblock me so I can cyberstalk you fricken coward I’m bored.
No. 2521403
File: 1747054429864.jpg (165.88 KB, 720x960, 1745122049127.jpg)
>>2521329what do you think made you sick nonna? if it's food poisoning then once you've gotten it all out you should get some relief, but if it's something like a virus and it continues then you might need medical assistance. a few years ago i got a brutal case of covid and puked for over a week until i took some prescription strength anti-vomiting meds. i hope you get some rest and feel better soon.
No. 2521411
File: 1747055250548.png (1.32 MB, 1132x988, wegetit.png)
Nonnas, have you ever gotten a 'yeah ok we get it' from yapping? Was it from someone close or not, and was it justified or were you reasonably hurt? I'm quiet so when it happens to me I'm taken off guard and less likely to self reflect over assuming they're a wanker. I've been on the other side but only when the yapper drunkenly repeats the topic several times. I'd like to hear other's experiences.
No. 2521415
File: 1747055920230.jpg (530.85 KB, 933x1527, Screenshot_20250512-151647_Ins…)
Despite being healthy I can only use fashion inspo from obese plus size women, because everything else is made for skinny stick figured models. If it looks good on a skinny model it looks like shit on me, but if it looks good on an obese woman twice my size it also looks good on me.
No. 2521431
>>2521258You could always just not have sex with him, if he's looking for a quick fuck.
Also
>I want this moid to date me>But if I ask him out it means he's worthless????
>>2521261I'm NTA?
No. 2521451
File: 1747059845080.jpeg (365.34 KB, 1536x2048, IMG_3671.jpeg)
how do girls younger than me afford such big fucking houses? what job do i need?
No. 2521503
File: 1747064528323.jpg (49.68 KB, 736x736, stocking.jpg)
Had an absolute melter rage at my boss today. Called in said one of my dogs is sick af, she is gasping for air. She said she'll remember this, I said I'm unfortunately out of fucks to give.
4 hours later dog is kinda fine, I'm currently without fucks but I do have a doggie asthma inhaler (I didn't know they make those?) and a very low opinion of my company.
Jfc I need to get out of here.
No. 2521508
>>2521493Yeah that's it, I'm the original nona and my point wasn't about being a pick me, because moids actually end up disliking pick mes and women who show too much love. The problem is that in our society, men gatekeep marriage and long term relationships. And even if you, as a woman, don't want to conform to the norms, you'll get hit with a very painful reality where your moid actually doesn't really love you. Like he'll just "settle" with you and still wait for his ideal woman, you'll take the role of the mom he resents, the career woman he's jealous of, these are all very unfortunate, very common scenarios. Any relationship where a woman loves more, initiates more, or puts more effort is doomed to make her suffer, and the problem here is that in order for that to not happen, you need to luck out and by chance attract a moid you'd find genuinely attractive, and somehow have him pursue you. Basically this means you don't really have that much of a choice. You don't actually pick your man, you need to wait to be picked and then choose from that roster of men who are already into you. Men get the benefit of choosing ANY woman they desire because women, unlike men, are capable of falling in love later. Men are not like that, if a man doesn't love you from the beginning, it's game over, they're not gonna be suddenly impressed by your money, intelligence, talents (although if you do have a lot of potential they will use you for their own gain).
No. 2521518
File: 1747065814031.jpg (176.27 KB, 440x440, tumblr_e67fa2b42dd0408f764c52a…)
i think i unironically have PTSD and don't know how to handle myself when i wake up rabid or get angry at anything, including my boyfriend, parents or friends. it makes me sad to be like this.
No. 2521521
File: 1747066073495.jpeg (104.14 KB, 1460x1125, IMG_3742.jpeg)
I love my mom, but man, she can be annoying sometimes. I just had a discussion with her about how I want to move out of this bumfuck place because I’m getting bored and for the millionth time she’s like “you’ll be tired after work there and won’t do shit”. I understand her in a sense and also the fact that she wants me near, but I feel like I’m turning a grandma at 26 and I don’t like that, I wanna feel like I lived just for a little.
I have plenty of energy now to be fair and I’m sick of waiting for the planets to align just so I can get 4 days off of work and waste 2 of them on commute just to see my friends whom I see like twice a year. I’m tired of doing just work, uni and stay in the house because I’m so isolated and I have no one my age here who isn’t either an alcoholic, a junkie or a mommyblogger. And I had enough of counting the days until the weekend or state vacations so I can do my thing for a day.
The cherry on top was when she jokingly said “you need to make a kid and have a husband and see you’ll have no time for this” right after I said that the general mentality in this town is that your life is over and can’t do fun shit after the age of 19 and I’m not pulling out my ass, most people here think like that. I have been bombarded with that quote since 12, that white picket fence life would be my worst fucking nightmare.
I love her and generally she is very liberal for this shithole anyway and a nice person, but I wish she doesn’t neg me with the “have kids” thing anymore and doesn’t belittle my decisions and choices. I’m aware that in my country and culture having a controlling parent is a given, but goddamn, I want this to stop.
No. 2521538
File: 1747067678070.gif (1.42 MB, 498x289, angry0wr3218ew1vr52e9.gif)
FUCK the ubereats driver who KNOCKED on my door when I explicitly wrote "LEAVE AT DOOR" and picked the "LEAVE AT DOOR" option you fucking moron and FUCK my brother who was supposed to be napping who jumped out of his room at the sound of food and "took a little bit" (you fucking liar) of my bag of chips (he took SEVERAL and ate 2 chips at a time) and then proceeded to open my burger sauce dip and dip the peri-peri seasoned chips with them WHEN I USE THAT SAUCE FOR THE PLAIN CHIPS AT THE BOTTOM.
like seriously fuck you all fuck moids fuck illiterate thirdies fuck greedy brothers and fuck this gay world
No. 2521564
i think i’m finally going to write to my childhood best friend who is in federal prison for planning to do domestic terrorism. she got convicted in 2019 and we had fallen out of touch well before then but she was my first best friend when i was 14-15, and as horrified and saddened as i am about what she has chosen to become, i haven’t been able to stop myself from loving who she used to be. i don’t know exactly what i’m going to say, but we always used to mail each other letters and say all the things that felt too hard and scary and heavy to say in casual conversation. it seems like there’s nothing harder to say than “i am so sad about the person who you’ve become but i have never stopped loving the person you were” and probably i’ll find a better way to phrase that but the point is i can’t keep making myself ignore it anymore. when she first got arrested my mom saw it on the news and called me, and my first thought even then was “i should write to her” but everyone around me discouraged me which i think was fair, they just wanted to protect me and also were understandably horrified by her plans and couldn’t conceive of her as a person who could have ever been worth loving. but it has been long enough and i’ve never stopped thinking about it and her and how she ended up there that i think i just have to bite the bullet.
i know i’m not going to save her or fix her or anything like that, she got pretty thoroughly radicalized by the internet and i’m only one person that maybe, probably, she doesn’t give a shit about anymore. but i think for my own peace of mind i need to tell her how i still think about her, that there’s still at least one person on this planet who sees her and cares about her even now, even if i hate who she has chosen to become. she’s still someone to me even while she’s rotting in a federal facility for the next ten years. yesterday i was looking at the friendship bracelet she gave me 15 years ago sitting in the drawer of my jewelry box that i never open, where it always lives, where i always put it back, but today i found it on my bathroom floor and for some reason put it on for the first time since i was still a teenager and then i just couldn’t stop crying, still haven’t really stopped, and i think i’m just at capacity for holding my feelings in. the fact is that i loved her, i still love who she was, and that love has to go somewhere, even if it’s just in an envelope that some prison guards will read before she does. it does nobody any good to keep this love to myself as if it’s some burden, just because who she is now is harder to love.
No. 2521569
File: 1747070101826.gif (145.79 KB, 220x220, groove-stickman-2003512550.gif)
>Last week for uni
>Paper due tonight
>Revisions due Wednesday
>Need to go to court twice this week
>Late for my interview by 30 minutes.
I want to die so bad.
No. 2521601
File: 1747071767347.jpg (25.54 KB, 736x736, 1000018896.jpg)
Last night I cried myself to sleep at the thought of having a baby girl. I don't want children, ever, and have felt that way my entire life, but I started to ponder what it would be like to watch her discover the world around her and form her own identity, interests and quirks that make herself. It would be so sweet. But I also started to think about all the horrible things out there that could be waiting for her, and watching her lose her spark little by little having to live in a world that is so cruel to women and girls. This is the first time I've had thoughts like this and it's scary.
No. 2521614
i love my mother, but i want to be free. i feel very trapped here in my tiny bedroom, with a house that has no room for me to just be freely unless i am home alone. and my room is so, so tiny and crammed. my step father has made sexual comments to me before and i feel too afraid to dress up or do yoga anywhere but my bedroom. i have been non religiously praying and have been coming to understand how fear controls me. i love to be happy and silly, and society thinks you should be mature with a big girl job and your own place. the area i live, you need to dress very nice to be taken seriously. i cant even afford that. i see now why i cried and cried over girls, even younger than me, who looked all pretty and always go out and do things and post photos online. its because i miss dressing up and going on my adventures and freely being myself. but i became so petrified of judgment. i am recently unemployed and broke and have been struggling to find work, i am so nervous but i know it will be nice to have some money to dress up and go on adventures. i try to be grateful but sometimes i desire more and i know it is not good. if i live at home longer, it would just be nice to not be home so much. i want to sing and dance and dress up. im so scared sometimes! but gas is money, places are money, walking id free but sometimes not enough. maybe i need a blog. i just want to feel light and free.
No. 2521621
>>2521614i think using lc more kind of made me worse in some ways, but perhaps thats because i used it to distract myself and feed bad thoughts. i will always be taken less seriously, come across as infantile or naive, but it is a choice i make. im well aware of many things and have intelligence, but i find that the less i use it (within reason kek) the less of an adult i force myself to be, the happier and more loving i feel. i love to feel small and insignificant, because it makes everything that much more grand. it means i can make an uncouth decision to sing anonymously about poop yet also publish an academic article. because we are multifaceted! and if it doesnt hurt another being i really dont see the impact of what someone else may say. i dont know where i am going with this but i just hope i can find some guidance and open my heart and be more loving and giving to myself. a new job is frightening, but it doesnt make it my identity. maybe i want more freedom, but it will come one day. someone living in the city with lots of friends and money is no better than one with a simple life volunteering and making things in her bedroom. just humans, thats all. and i realize the people i knew who i thought i had to fit in with by having 192827 hobbies and being super interesting and skinny were hurting very badly themselves, and they it was an endless game i wouldnt want to keep up with. maybe they enjoy it, but it was always so superficial. social climbing in raves and making music with celebrities, posting schizo rambles and doing anything to be unique. i used to think these people were demons kek, but truly they wear their pain on the same sleeve they wear their “status”
No. 2521629
I've been with my partner for almost 10 years now. Since december things have been going down hill, it’s not the first time but surely it’s the most painful one because now it seems like it’s coming to an end, it’s real.
He has never been emotional responsible. I knew that since the begunning. And he also has some major red flags but I guess love is blind and I decided to love him no matter what even when I knew he didn’t deserve it sometimes.
At times he wasn’t that bad, he took care of me and I guess at some point he truly loved me. The worst part was when he got angry or mad at me. I have anxious attachment and he basically used the silent treatment then so you can imagine how torturous it was for me.
Now I feel heartbroken because I feel like he’s losing his love for me (trust me, when you know, you know), and the thing that hurts the most is not losing someone like him (he has some good parts but also some negative ones that are too difficult to ignore), either having spent so much time with him, what hurts the most it’s the fact that I believed that this was love for such a long time.
I changed the way I acted, the way I used to be with other people, even the way I thought sometimes and I did it all because I thought that was what love was supposed to mean. And this is what hurts me the most, thinking I’m like a shadow of what I was once, and even when I know it’s not true, I felt like I lost that part of me, that spark. I don’t know how he made me think that it was normal not to speak to me for two whole days and then just caress my hand or my back without even talking about it and everything else was fine again as if nothing had happened. This was a routine for me. If he did told me that he loved me too after an argument (even when he used some insults like retard or asshole), it would mean that we were fine again, I was safe.
I feel truly pathetic having to write this because if it was some of my friends telling me this I’d tell them to get away as soon as possible but here I am, crying about someone who doesn’t deserve it and about the person he turned me into.
No. 2521634
File: 1747073426325.png (370.81 KB, 563x564, 1676933950805814.png)
I am deathly afraid of what this weekend's elections will look like.
It will be a nightmare to survive with the euro going up and the war on our doorstep. I feel soo stupid for being unprepared. I should've never gone to art school, I should've saved my time to get into something that can get me out. Now I have to do it all over again.
I've tried staying calm, but it's catching up to me. I look at people around me and I get parranoid. I know that if, god forbit, he wins, I'll watch the people around me crumble.
My end of year project is in a couple of months, I feel spent. I feel like I'm running 100km/hour on no energy. I'm soo scared, and everyone is looking at me for solutions. My friends, my bf, and I have nowhere to look. I'm all alone.
No. 2521663
File: 1747074976807.jpg (13.88 KB, 450x425, 1000018895.jpg)
>>2521608Thank you for caring, nona, I am feeling better after sleeping it off. I have a lot more compassion and respect for mothers now than I did before, especially mine.
No. 2521686
my father had cancer last year in his throat, tongue, etc. it has come back more aggressive and we will be finding out today what his treatment plan will be because he can no longer do radiation. i only know these details because of my dear sister.
my father physically and emotionally abused me until age 12. i am not sure if he ever did anything sexual because so much of it has remained blocked off. after the divorce he was absent from my life. i tried to have a relationship once i did some healing but he never apologized or cared for me, it was always about him, and it made it hard for me. i gave up a few years ago, until he had the first cancer. i thought he would change, but he didnt. he lied to family and said i never reached out, despite proof, he denied the abuse again, never was there for any terrible moment in my life, etc. his damage to me as a young girl has stunted me to where i have spent so much money, time, lost so much healing due to how he made me feel and see myself. i have forgiven him sometimes, mostly. i know he is human.
but i am scared for him. this is cancer and he is a human being. once i wished him dead and i worry—did i cause this? i never wanted him to suffer. it feels strange. shouldnt i be glad? i only wanted his love, i wanted him to be my father who loved me. he did unimaginable things to me. and now he might be dying, if not now, i think in the next few years with this recurrent cancer issue. i used to think about the money i may get from his death, how i deserve it anyway. but now it makes me sick to think about gaining money from someones death. someone who was hurt worse than i was as a child, and suffered on his death bed, maybe. most likely. sometimes i wonder if i will he relieved because i will no longer spend time subconsciously hoping my father will be someone different. its very confusing. i feel so much guilt for not just forgiving him, but i tried. it was so hard. i was so little. he never did a thing for me, my mom single handedly raised me, and he hardly helped my sister. im just confused. the money would help but it feels wrong. its just money.
No. 2521729
>>2521686If we could give cancer with only the power of our minds then any abused person would be able to kill their abuser. It’s normal to feel weird and have mixed feelings about it nonna, it’s both okay to be “sad” , to be “relieved” and to be at peace with the fact that he’ll most likely die too.
I don’t feel like you don’t deserve that money, you do deserve it, so don’t feel ashamed to take it.
No. 2521811
>>2521686hi anon i am another person with an emotionally absent dad who pretty much never wanted to spend time with me and when i went over to his house every other weekend he just ignored me and drank. pretty sure he's also going to die soon because he drank most of his life and did a lot of drugs so cancer is probably gonna get him too. i don't know what i'm going to do, probably feel some sadness that i never got to experience a father, but i also don't even know if i plan to go see him in the hospital or attend his funeral. who is he? i don't know. i have 2 sisters and a brother on his side that are literal strangers to me aside from the half-brother calling from jail one time asking if he could stay at my place because he was getting out. so weird.
i never wished my father to die but i just don't care what happens to him. if he leaves you money, it's at least one way to apologize, look at it that way. it's not your fault that your dad wasn't interested in being in your life. shit happens. they have their own issues to deal with. and you're hardly alone, actually i think it's about 50/50 that a child will grow up with a loving father and possibly even less because men suck and abandon their kids all the time.
No. 2521910
File: 1747091030437.jpeg (713.03 KB, 1125x1109, IMG_9061.jpeg)
>>2521885It’ll be okay
nonny, things might be difficult now but that doesn’t mean they’ll always be
No. 2521996
>>2521820I don't smell like doo doo shit all the time on my fingers and hands like I did when I smoked cigarettes. My clothes don't smell like shit. You wouldn't know if I did any kind of nicotine product unless you saw me take out the vape. Don't get me wrong, vapes will probably give me a new type of cancer or some lung deformity that is novel and unlike the regular cancers or deformities that cigarettes give
but at least I don't smell like fucking shit all the time and my mouth doesn't taste like shit. millenial btw
No. 2522009
File: 1747102363532.jpeg (82.54 KB, 423x500, IMG_3666.jpeg)
would it be ridiculous as a mid 20 year old with no friends or things to do to go out at night alone and take photos and videos dressed up? im tired of sitting in my room alone when i cant occupy myself with retsrd hobbies. i have no obligations that require me to be anywhere and not much money to do random hobbies. and im tired of it yet im scared to just go do something because i feel unsafe or awkward and ahve no clue what to do. and what if i look fucking retarded dressing up?
No. 2522019
>>2522013well, now im considering what if i posted a silly video online dancing around? what if a future employer found it, even if there was nothing “terrible” about it. what would they think of me, being so immature?
i begin to wonder if this is OCD talking, thinking up all of the scenarios as to why i cannot do this.
i will work up the courage to take your advice. i really need to start somewhere, or else im doomed
No. 2522063
File: 1747110111238.jpg (35.22 KB, 900x600, 1000003096.jpg)
>>2521601I know what you mean nona. Sometimes I think how wonderful having a daughter would be, but then I remember how fucked up the world is right now and how much I'm likely to fuck her up due to my own poor upbringing. It's why I'm so child free.
No. 2522080
File: 1747113317940.png (327.59 KB, 648x439, 1000003098.png)
My forgetfulness has gotten increasingly bad over the years and it scares me, to be honest. Of course, no one is taking me seriously and just telling me it must be from stress or something but it's happening even now..when I have nothing to be stressed about. I just got up to get a new water bottle and not less than 5 minutes I don't know what the hell I did with it or where I put it, so I just went to get another one. I still can't remember which light is for what in my own apartment or what gate code was for what. I've almost thrown my keys in the trash before after forgetting they were already in my hand. One of these days I feel like I will wake up having forgotten my own name. I've always been clumsy but over the years it has gotten progressively worse. It's like some early onset dementia, ugh.
No. 2522149
File: 1747125007535.jpg (47.16 KB, 736x682, 0dd9d74a260ef3c447b837bd63407f…)
Finally got my number changed after getting a shit ton of "no caller ID" calls–which I couldn't block the number directly, instead only being able to block all unknown calls, which is difficult due to my job–because the police basically laughed me out. I have a moid compsci friend who was able to get his full name, and I'm a bit hesitant to do a lot with it since he's the same age as me (21-years-old/autismo zoomer), but it does help a lot. Still deliberating, because the police acted like I was retarded, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have merit in a courtroom. To conclude: total moid death, now.
No. 2522151
>>2522145princess mindset waiting to get "picked up"
she already knows he's just a scrote about to abuse her insecurities so she'd rather be playing waiting games instead
No. 2522157
>>2522151Not really I guess I just have internalized a lot about how women who make the first move
make themselves look to easy
also ptsd from asking out a boy as a young child No. 2522168
>>2522164you're asking a terminal virgin, but my mindset? damned if you do, damned if you don't
besides I don't see how there's anything wrong with being pushy as long as you bring your expectations with you and make them clear early on, just be ready to cut your losses if he turns out not to give a shit, but you wasting time "hinting" at him is not going to affect this result either way
No. 2522211
>>2522168>>2522171i normally wouldnt but hes like my exact (fairly rare) type physically and its driving me crazy and making me want to risk it all, thanks for the advice nonnies
>>2522197ok im a terminal autist how do I do this like practically. all I know how to do is say haha youre taller than me THATS IT.
No. 2522221
>>2522211idk this is all just theoretical for me
but what are you even expecting to get out of this? like, realistically, considering he doesn't even seem to have noticed you
if you're just horny for him you might only end up with what you deserve, at best, or just get rejected, at worst
No. 2522229
File: 1747135426594.jpg (77.79 KB, 1116x1087, 1000054538.jpg)
I was working on my last theology assignment for the semester, asked my partner if I can freely edit and combine out text because I am better at grammar and we're had issues earlier because I trusted her to know how to fucking spell. My fault for not double checking but it's frustrating almost getting full marks but this bitch can't write biblical shit correctly, but anyways. She gives me her permission to edit everything, thanks me and I ask her to give me her source list. She suddenly doesn't reply, I take a look at her fucking text and no way did she write this fully on her own. It looks like a mix of A.I and/or she rewrote partly answers from A.I. I can't do shit with this at this point so I'm just working on my own stuff at this point, but I bet she is panicking now, trying to come up with something because she was too dumb to make sure it was from the approved source materials.
No. 2522243
>>2522009>would it be ridiculous to go out at night aloneNo
>and take photos and videos of myself dressed up…kind of? Not sure why you’d want to do this. Then again I’m not a selfie person, but it seems kind of self absorbed.
No. 2522273
File: 1747140606064.jpg (30.36 KB, 489x423, a7383fadadb29175838df788408d2a…)
I hate that I feel like there’s no way for me to look presentable. I feel so pathetic when I see how other people dress, because compared to them I look like someone who just rolled out of bed and didn’t put in the slightest effort to look decent, which, to be fair, is kind of true. Everything about me seems to contribute to looking (or feeling) messy: my wavy hair looks like a puffball if I brush it, stringy if I don’t, and greasy or dirty if I use styling products. I’m overweight, so most clothes look bad on me, and the ones that actually fit well usually make me feel super uncomfortable, plus they don’t feel like “me” at all. Basically, my autistic ass makes it really hard for me to wear anything that isn’t at least a little baggy or oversized. I hate shopping for clothes, there’s just no way for me to tell if something will actually look good. I hate makeup and have zero interest in learning how to use it. I really wish I could look put together, but it honestly feels impossible for me, I really don't know how people manage to look good.
No. 2522349
File: 1747147456829.png (396.92 KB, 361x498, at tarot deck.png)
I showed my tif friend some tarot inspired cartoon art and the first thing she came with was "that's offensive" ??? you are drawing your own tarot deck with your yaoi self insert, you have no say in the matter
I'm bitter because the same day, I showed her and my other friend a cartoon I found I really liked and it was like she made an effort to say "thats lame" everytime she could. I don't know if I was ever rude to her without realizing, or that I'm rude to her in response to her behaviour.
I wish I couldn't be her friend anymore but it's hard kek.I'm lonely and a big nerd, I can't get along with normies.
No. 2522371
>>2522361makes sense and it shows. when I like something she says something that directly or indirectly is a "stop it".
I like apples too much, she comes up with "oh the day she quits liking apples it would be a miracle"
No. 2522379
>>2522371Anon you need to start being a mean bitch back. She is rude to you because you allow it and because she is threatened by you. Nit saying to tell her to kill herself but moreso dampen that eagerness for friendship and the excitement of talking to friend and never forget she's an insecure person that needs a punching bag because, ultimately, it is
her that believes she has no real talent or skill. That's why she's rude.
No. 2522399
I genuinely cannot stand the type of woman with this deep-seated "male romanticism". It's like a grown-up pickme NLOG, because the woman with male romanticism might say she dislikes pickmes and NLOGs, she might put up a front of yay girl power fuck men they suck! But it's obvious she holds males in a MUCH higher esteem than females. She reads only books written by males, she watches only movies directed and written by males, she's Totally Cool with rape scenes but she has a problem with the lack of representation of other physical violence against women (in some twisted, perverted sense of feminism I guess), she's a serial monogamist constantly claiming this this will be the time she spends alone for the first time (but then enters a new relationship with a loser of the same caliber as the others), has an insane amount of guy friends, feels like there's no reason to feel weird about hanging out with males who have girlfriends alone (she doesn't invite the girlfriend to hang out, ever), she takes the male's side all the time because women can be bad too don't you know! Loves talking shit about female majority interests when her own interests are just maleslop and male consoomerism slop. She's otherwise nice, but you just get the sense that you can never trust her. It's so annoying being around these types because at least you expect retardation from a more identifiable NLOG and pickme but this girl will be nice and fine and then she does her whole "upper register" giggly voice with her "male friends" and suddenly reality hits you like a brick, you just cannot trust this woman and you have nothing to really fall back on but it's just the general energy that's off.
No. 2522413
File: 1747151656264.jpeg (261.69 KB, 1170x1714, Gp_yey3awAIP1Bm.jpeg)
i was so retarded at work today. i hate letting my coworkers down, they're all such nice educated ladies and i'm just a dumbass college dropout. idk what's wrong with me today, i usually don't fuck up that bad (or fuck up at all)
No. 2522483
File: 1747157516136.jpg (54.65 KB, 640x631, bladee 15.jpg)
i cant post here anymore because im being gangstalked by my crazy toxic ex, bye lolcor was nice knowing you
No. 2522494
>>2522293>stalk his kidsYou mean… your half-siblings. Even if you don't want to contact him you could still let your siblings know you exist and that he abandoned you to an
abusive woman. They likely have no idea and they deserve to know he did that.
No. 2522558
File: 1747162747625.jpg (23.55 KB, 736x493, 1000018906.jpg)
When I'm struggling to cope I imagine myself in various abusive situations as the victim. I have been abused in my life but the situations I imagine aren't identical to what happened to me, the events play out differently, usually much more violent or severe. I don't know exactly why I do this, I think it's my brain trying to tell me, "look on the bright side, it wasn't as bad as it could've been!" but I'm retarded so it got jumbled up into something else. It makes me feel like a bad person and it's something I haven't told anyone about, I'm afraid people will think I'm glorifying those things or that I want them to happen to me. All I know is that it relaxes me, when it really shouldn't.
No. 2522589
File: 1747164748957.jpg (41.85 KB, 777x564, 1000052895.jpg)
>>2522584
>hummace
No. 2522646
File: 1747167758347.jpeg (52.01 KB, 642x632, F570FE3D-C6E1-4213-B15A-75DCBF…)
Everyone is just on my nerves today. Coworkers, clients, neighbors. The receptionist at the doctor’s office. Why am I so aggro today…
No. 2522684
File: 1747170426570.jpeg (309.35 KB, 807x755, sad horsee.jpeg)
I just found out my mom has been telling people i am autistic(i am not) all because she cant cope with having a loser daughter.
No. 2522814
File: 1747176504829.jpg (15.82 KB, 680x437, GktHcEPWAAAclDX.jpg)
Found another roach in my room.
That's not allowed. My room should be the only place where there isn't filth. That was the rule. I make sure of it. It's the only clean place. It's mine. It was supposed to be the only place I can somewhat escape. It was suppoised to be mine.
It's filthy now. It's dizgusting. I live in absolute filth. I'll have roaches in my ears and mouth and every other hole in my body. They're going to crawl inside me ainfect me when I least expect it. I don't want to be ruined again. I don't want it. Why are they here? One is a coincidence, but another one the next day is too much.
They most probably come from the attick. My closet is made in a spefifically shitty way where it's basically another door in my room leading to a plywood box taking space in the storage closet. The storage closet has a ladder leading to the attick where the door is always open bc our cats come throu there. It has an opening at the top of the closet and that's where they sneak in. I can't close it either cause then I get thretned with violence and everything is my fault.
I am aware of what I'm thinking, I don't care. This was supposed to be MY place. I was supposed to draw a bit and then try to reconnect with my husbando. But he'll never want me. Not in a simulation, not in my dreams, not im my mind. I'm disgusting. I live in piles and piles and moutains of waste. I don't deserve humanity nor love and for that I should be punished. This is filthy.
They're going to crawl into me and ruin me. They're going to burrow in me because I'm an awful person. It's my fault I can't keep everyithing nice and tidy. I wish my bf got his shit together, I need my rock back now before I do somehting stupid. We used to be soo tight, then he had to go on and ruin the peace with his anxieties and constant need for atention and validation and his wild acusations. I don't want to wait for things to get better. I want to feel human.
I only ever wanted my room.
I can't have it. I never get to have what I need nor want.
I deserve to suffer. I can't have my room, I can't have my sleep. I can't have my rock bc he never get's it and neither can I have by angel of a husbando. There's no place for me. I need hurt. I need to purify it. I need to make it go away. I don't want to be dirty. It's not my life. Make it go away. I don't want them in me. I don't want anyone in me.
I'm tired.
No. 2522879
File: 1747181332452.jpg (72.87 KB, 640x458, 1726627932342929.jpg)
dunno if its my autism or what but the feeling of being ostracized from humanity and unable to trust or connect to anybody is fucking me over so badly recently.
No. 2522904
File: 1747182086673.jpeg (77.08 KB, 794x794, IMG_3672.jpeg)
i often look to the past and think everything was better. i was sharper, more creative when i had my job and some friends, but i was also using drugs for the first time in my life and starving myself to be skinny. im chubby now, i get apathetic, i feel lonely and lost from my passions, but im stable. im loving to the people around me, to the earth. i graduated with my degree. but i just wish i could have the attachment to my hobbies and willpower to not carelessly eat or the fatigue which makes me fall off of my exercise regimen. i just wish i had enough care to do well for myself and i hope i can love my hobbies again. i hope this will pass. maybe once i get a job, and if i can use LC less. i hope everyone else can get better soon, too.
No. 2522926
>>2522904You know how a scale when you put something on one side and them balance it, it goes up and down before regulating? I think you're path to a middle ground is just taking longer. Eventually you might come back to those hobbies, maybe not, it's not for you to worry right now. It's ok to grief who you were before, you've been like that for a very long time. It took me 4-5 years to fully shed my past self and find my footing. It was painful, numb and awkward a lot of times but I'dlike to think that's how your brain can more easily attach to positive tings.
You'll be ok even if it takes time.
I'm rooting for you nonna, I'll be keeping you in mind and wishing good things on you. I hope you find what you seek even off LC.
No. 2523011
>>2522829Very very bad. I have to repeat an action as simple as putting something back in the fridge or hiding a picture online the "right way" and it can on for as long as 30 minutes or else i remember the picture for the rest of the day like a piece of gum stuck on the back of my mind. It started in late 2020 so it will be almost 5 years like this and it only has gotten worse, even unlocking my phone is a struggle. Not surprised i ended up like this, when i was a teenager i developed a full blown eating disorder in 3 months, i was an antisocial retard back then too with barely any friends to talk to or do things with, i'm not even like a weird autist into anime or something, i just never really
get into anything as if i'm an incomplete human.
No. 2523126
File: 1747196079421.jpg (15.92 KB, 400x519, 1000032462.jpg)
I'm so infatuated with a guy that is making me feel nauseous rn. He isn't even aware about my existence and it makes me sad that I probably would never have chance with him.
No. 2523134
File: 1747196749999.webp (26.58 KB, 640x654, bro.webp)
i fucking cut my bangs all fucked up how am i gonna live like this how am i gonna go to work fuck fuck fuck FUCK
No. 2523139
File: 1747196968858.webm (1.6 MB, 460x496, 1714286818232222.webm)
i dont know why but recently i feel completely disconnected from humanity and like i cant connect, relate, or trust anybody on earth and its making me really depressed
No. 2523160
>>2523134It’ll grow out faster than you think
nonny don’t worry
No. 2523178
File: 1747204399547.jpg (44.88 KB, 736x772, 5dd7be745faa3073328cb9a3e803a5…)
I'm 21 and don't have a license and I'm so embarrassed. It's partially because my mom was hit by a drunk driver when I was a kid and to this day still has pains in her neck because of it, and also because literally the day I got my permit when I was 16, my girlfriend at the time and I got into a car accident where she was doing everything right and she was still hit. I remember thinking in the car, "wow, this really might be the end for me". It's so fucking stupid and embarrassing and I'm trying to find a way to get a license while being a part-time student and full-time worker, but it costs money, which all goes to my tuition and bills. I hate my stupid autistic life.
No. 2523183
File: 1747206164089.jpg (52.12 KB, 794x517, 1497877584657.jpg)
I've been skipping work almost every day for the past couple of months, coasting on my savings, staying home for the most part whilst waiting for selfish bastards to pay me back what they owe. I've been spending money on snacks, clothing, stupid plushies, basically whatever my heart desires (within reason) because I'm sort of giving up and succumbing to depression coping… I keep telling myself I'll learn to invest in stocks and crypto while I'm at home but honestly I think I'm too stoopid to figure it out and get overwhelmed thinking about the risk involved. I wish I had a knowledgeable moid I could trust who'd show me the ropes and maybe invest for me instead.
No. 2523202
File: 1747208060597.jpeg (27.79 KB, 320x320, IMG_1992.jpeg)
>>2523178Me reading this with no license at 30
No. 2523250
>>2523178Cars are expensive anyway, not only to buy one (even second hand) but also maintenance, insurance and other garbage fees like property tax.
Cars are a luxury not a must (unless you're american with no transport). Get your licence if it's money and time cost are worth the improvement it'll bring.
No. 2523252
File: 1747214909364.jpeg (293.26 KB, 1125x1044, IMG_7673.jpeg)
I partly fucked up my sleep schedule but even then I can’t fall asleep for the life of me. Ugh this sucks
No. 2523253
>>2522412Thank you so much nona, I appreciate your kind words. Though I am just replying now I saw this earlier when I was very upset trying to distract myself and it really meant a lot for me to read it then, so thank you.
>>2522494They all seem perfectly happy and some strange girl from the past encroaching on their perfect life would just be embarrassing for me. His children are both adults now and they seem to have had good childhoods so there's no risk to them or anything. The only reason for me to contact them would be out of spite and I think it's better to make a more mature decision than to destabilize their life because I feel hurt, not because it's the "right thing to do" but because it would really just make me look bad. I'd rather none of them know I exist than think I am a bitter and crazy stalker. I also don't want to give my father the satisfaction of knowing how badly I am doing; I doubt he'd feel guilty and would just think about how he dodged a bullet.
No. 2523262
File: 1747216139145.jpg (22.27 KB, 564x269, 1000004435.jpg)
I hate talking to japanese moids
No. 2523279
>>2523178Nonna it’s not embarrassing. I am also getting my license , but not out of my volition, my mom is forcing me to kek. Try to take it as it can help you in the long run, maybe you might use the car just a few times.
Driving around is scary , especially when people around you drive shitty and don’t respect rules. If everyone would be scared of driving then we would be all safe.
No. 2523282
>>2523280You sound like those wives who complain about their Nigel not helping with the kids , not being respectful, being sloppy and ungrateful but yet don’t leave them due to some kind of loyalty. At least they are getting subpar dick out of the marriage , but you aren’t even getting that.
If the scrote wasn’t a turbo jobless autists he would have already fucked half his town without caring that he has a girlfriend.
No. 2523283
>>2523159Use benzoyl peroxide, it can help. If it’s that bad you can even get oral medicine.
If you have long hair either cut it or keep it tied, use cotton only.
No. 2523302
File: 1747221786497.gif (222.64 KB, 220x165, crazy-snow-white-crazy.gif)
whenever i want to watch a video these fucking youtubers use mics and then they start making this smacking sounds at every word. its like banging on the ceiling, or playing too loud music, like have some decency and buy a mic that stops you saliva clashing against your teeth and in my ear. thank you.
No. 2523394
I wish someone just fucking obliterated that incest thread at /m/. Such a shitstain on an otherwise chill board, fuck that gross thread
>>2523388Wtf me too, sometimes I feel like I'm chocking because I'm producing way too much saliva, it usually happens when I'm anxious
No. 2523523
File: 1747243406431.jpeg (67.95 KB, 553x555, images (27).jpeg)
Cannot fucking stand film autists oh my god. Can you fuckers go one second without info dumping unnecessarily and acting like smug pieces of shit when the person you are overwhelming knows so little about film? Every time they open their foul-smelling mouths to brag about their knowledge and act sanctimonious once you reveal you don’t know wtf they’re talking about all the bullshit they say goes in one ear and out the other. Like ok sis sorry I’m not a certified film major like you are but do you think I give a flying fuck that the reason Hollywood passed this petition is because of this director or that. Worst of all is these fuckers I’m being forced into dealing with aren’t even majoring in film but it’s clear they have a passion for it so why the fuck didn’t they take it? Autism abounds in many circles but film is the one I cannot fucking tolerate for the simple reason of them behaving like know-it-all assholes when they cannot even engage in normie conversation to save their lives. These are the same assholes who let pedophiles run free in Hollywood by virtue of making a film that “sends a philosophical and social message therefore it’s kino uwu” when that same film is riddled with pedo and misogynist nonsense screaming right in your face. The consequences of third-wave feminisms’s liberal bullshit, everybody.
No. 2523624
File: 1747249415032.webp (70.76 KB, 1200x910, IMG_2488.webp)
I used to be a size 32 Eu before (00) and now I am a size 34 (02?) , which has sent me into sort of a spiral. My mom used to tell me that I looked like a man and that I needed more curves, which to me meant that I was skinny kek. The only good thing is that I have bigger breasts and I haven’t added a stomach and overall I am not fat, but I am scared that I’ll just gain weight more and more. My brain just tells me that I’m a a fatty if my BMI is any more than 18.5, which was where I always was, normal weight, yet skinny.
It really sounds retarded now that I write it down, I am at a healthy weight but I struggle with my body image. I don’t want to buy a scale or weigh my food as I don’t want to reawaken bad habits, but I am trying to cut down food at this point.
No. 2523655
File: 1747251409504.jpg (70.71 KB, 488x520, 708532_900.jpg)
I hate having a delayed emotional response. Just had the stupidest interaction at the supermarket. A scrote asked me where he could find instant noodles, I showed him. He said "Thank you. You look like Yegor Letov, but thank you." It was unexpected and the comparison itself wasn't offensive to me (I thought it was because of glasses and hair and I don't care if a scrote doesn't consider me attractive or something) so I laughed. For some reason, he extended his hand to shake mine, and I responded on autopilot (ugh), then he asked "Oh, you know who he is???", I simply replied "yes" and turned around, hearing "I'M ACTUALLY SURPRISED….", which is so fucking ridiculous considering that we live in a post-soviet country and I'd say more than a half of adults should know about him or his band (also why would you compare out loud then). At that moment, I thought "that's so random and dumb". 10 minutes later, I suddenly think "what a dick??", feel disgusting because I shaked his hand and regret not saying something that'd make him feel like an idiot. This situation is like straight from the teenage years, so weird. And I haven't met such pathetic wise asses irl in a while. Caught me off-guard. I swear, I always regret being too friendly/chill much more than overreacting.
No. 2523662
File: 1747251754355.jpg (992.57 KB, 1080x1819, 1000002613.jpg)
I've gone to the hospital twice in the last week because I want to kill myself and they just sent me away with medication. You'd think being unmedicated and suicidal would get me an admission but the nurse even told me "I don't look depressed" because I'm… conventionally attractive(?) I live in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I even called a crisis line with no help. I'm at my ends wit.
No. 2523708
File: 1747254104416.gif (2.62 MB, 640x640, yongbokiwi.gif)
when i'm on my period i like to take a pack of pads out of the cabinet and place it on the shelf near the toilet paper to have easy access. my mom just gave me a 15 minute lecture on how "unpractical" and "wrong" it is because "these don't belong here, their place is in the cabinet!". apparently "many people dream of having a cabinet to hide their pads in while you put them on display" jesus fucking christ this is coming from an adult woman who works as a nurse in a gyno clinic. she digs inside aborted fetuses for a living. are you kidding me.
i'm tired after work, annoyed and in pain and she's been on my ass about this non-issue for 15 whole minutes instead of just quietly putting them away if it bothers her that much. leave me and my pads alone!!!!!
No. 2523768
>>2523736I guess it is, maybe because I'm not in psychosis or on drugs they don't want to admit me. I was hospitalized when I was younger for wanting to kill myself but I'm not sure why this time was so different. I honestly think it's because I don't look depressed to anyone.. I even told them about how I can't even clean my house and have two months worth of garbage inside of it because I'm so anxious. She said that "I just need to be more motivated" ???
>>2523762This made me feel less lonely thank you. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience too
No. 2523790
>>2523708maybe it's
triggering her by reminding her of work kek
No. 2523885
File: 1747262970242.jpg (626.03 KB, 888x1283, L’Avarice (1906 Engraving on …)
Haven't had sex with bf in 1-2 months for various reasons. Things progressed to that today, but he went all in too soon and it hurt. It hurt soo soo bad. Not a lot of things make me cry, this is one of them and I just, didn't fight it like usual.
I can't even cry in peace without this baby breathing down my neck constantly trying to grab my attention. How is it that even when I'm hurt I still need to run to comfort him like he's a lost child. And if I don't then he suddenly tells me I'm "ignoring him".
I think the worst part of this is him sitting in my ear reapeatedly calling me baby and saying "I'm here for you". He's soo predictable it hurts. I mention to him in an argument that he's not there for me while I am and now he keeps parroting "I'll always be there for you" and "I'm here for you". How do men manage to make affection sound and look soo disgusting and pathetic?
The audacity for him even accidentally hurt me while I'm vulnerable, AGAIN, and do the most pathetic and lost attempt at fixing it.
I don't want these ovaries anymore. I want to stop whatever making me want sex. What's the point anyway? I can count on one hand the number of times I actually loved it with no trauma flashbacks, no akwardness no pain, no disgust of my body.
No. 2523926
File: 1747268692793.gif (717.34 KB, 500x204, 1723070863069.gif)
I wish I had tiny breasts. I feel like such a heifer no matter how slim I am because my boobs pad out every shirt and dress. Awful
No. 2523969
File: 1747272373184.jpeg (128.52 KB, 900x600, IMG_3688.jpeg)
Does anyone else have a bit of resentment toward their parents for feeding them so much UPF? I got addicted and became morbidly obese at such a young age due to being abused and coping with it and nobody being around. Naturally this worsened my mental issues and I was pumped with antidepressants. My body has been ruined forever because of this, despite being at a healthy weight now. I lost the bulk of it when young but it was so much weight that I have some loose skin and permanent stretch marks, and there were many years of yo-yoing. I have a constant fear of being fat again.
I really should have went to school for nutrition. I wonder if there is a good way to educate more people about this. My hormones have been messed up from it too. I had so much potential but I know I can’t linger in it. What a shame though that food has ruined so much for me, and at the hands of greedy people and a fast paced society.
I want more people to care, to be angry with false marketing and animal cruelty as well.
No. 2524003
File: 1747275038717.jpg (27.59 KB, 600x369, Visible_Light_Spectrum.jpg)
nonnies, I am scared. I understand that I'm on lolcow. This is the only female space I feel somewhat safe communicating on, for the most part. I know that the user base is more diverse than it may let on, but I want to try and phrase my vent without sounding extremely divisive.
I'm fucking scared. And I'm scared because of Project 2025. It's clear that they are going to achieve everything they can before shit hits the fan. What's scaring me? The ban on pornography. WHY?
Why would banning pornography scare me when I agree that it's tainting every man available to me in my dating pool? That it has massively contributed to the most disgusting and depraved behaviors that are then expected of women to perform? Because although I'm straight, I have lesbian friends. I have gay friends. It's very clear that this isn't what it's about, it's not about pornography at all. It's about finding arbitrary reasons to kill people.
Wait, kill people? So here's the thing. The pornography ban is going to work in tandem with the federal law to "bring back" the death penalty. What are they fighting to bring back the death penalty for? "Sex offenders" and "sexual predators". That sounds great, right? But they're not going to go after the MAJORITY of rapists and sex offenders (men), certainly not the men that attack women. They're going to go after anyone that fits their arbitrary label of sex offender due to possessing pornographic material. What may that be? Gay pride merch, saucy gay videos, same sex displays of affection, so on and so forth. I know it sounds deranged. But I implore you to please look at Project 2025.
I know that there are a lot of people in here that will say:
>Finally, trans people get the rope
but it's not going to start or stop there. And it's not going to protect women, or children, or vulnerable people. It's going to be arbitrarily used to kill people. What the fuck do we do? I have no fucking idea. I'm sure even if I was trained well with a weapon, they'll have a whole army to retaliate if people push back. The only thing I want to say … is that I'm scared. I don't know what to do and I'm scared. I know that there are "options" like moving out of the country or something. But what about the history of social media? Even when you delete it? How far will they discriminate with this? As a woman that I guess you'd say is GNC, maybe I won't have law enforcement or court, but wouldn't that poison the well of the supporters of this administration further? Would I expect my neighbors to look at me like a freak or report me?
I don't know what this will look like or when it will start affecting people outside of whatever the media reports as happening. But… yes I am a pathetic burgerfag. I just hope that my lesbian and bi nonnies stay safe, including the detransers and the nonnies with dysphoria that aren't doing anything. Please protect yourself, because don't think they're just going to come for "biological men". God knows what they're going to do with women knowing they want to increase our birth rate in America. Don't miss the forest for the trees. When they say it's to stop the transgender population, that's only the beginning.
I would post this in the American thread, but that thread is full of retards and astroturfers. I may be too late to get a tubal ligation but I hope y'all can prepare in any way you can.
No. 2524063
File: 1747278952482.png (39.51 KB, 934x246, Screenshot_2025-05-15-05-11-01…)
>tfw you get added by someone from the friend finder thread and their profile mentions this
how do I get my own lc membership award?
No. 2524069
>>2524036it's not about a specific law. It's about the text of Project 2025:
>"Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgenderideology and sexualization of children […] Its purveyors are child predators and misogynistic exploiters of women. Their product is as addictive as any illicit drug and as psychologically destructive as any crime. Pornography should be outlawed. The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned. Educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered."
I hope you can read the beginning of that, which defines pornography as "today" being a propagator of transgender ideology and sexualizing children. Do you really believe they care about women when they secondarily cite misogyny? Do you not see how much they don't actually care about women? Why even fucking talk about transgender ideology when historically, pornography has ALWAYS negatively affected women? These people, who also say that women should marry when they're "ripe and fertile" (a child's age) and defend each other when someone accuses them of doing the very thing they are so preoccupied about other people doing, like buying child pornography or molesting a child. But they refer to the children as "girls" or "teens" and that somehow makes it different. Like I said, stop missing the forest for the trees you retard. This mandate is an instruction booklet to inform the smaller governments of how to proceed with legislation, how to argue their points, how to appeal to people's worst fears, etc.
>>2524062You are actually retarded if you think the pharmaceutical industry would tank overnight if transgender people stopped getting surgery or getting hormone therapy
No. 2524109
File: 1747281666500.jpg (88.94 KB, 800x800, 1000014703.jpg)
>>2524069>"Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgenderideology and sexualization of children […]
Based and true. As much as I'm a femanist I'm also tired of the hyperbolic "they're going to turn us all into breeding slaves!!" Rhetoric. No they're not. Realistically this is retarded. Gay marriage is not going to get rolled back, ever, that stake is in the ground, and your fantasy doomer porn is annoying to witness and I don't know who brainwashed you into it, but basically what I'm gathering is that you unironically believe this image. Go fuck yourself and your gay friends
No. 2524121
File: 1747282445641.jpg (74.9 KB, 1124x1096, FGh65RDXwAYE_-7.jpeg.jpg)
I had to drop off a stray 3 week old kitten some psychotic moidlets pushed into our gate off my relatives because my dysfunctional house cant let me care for a animal without shouting God I feel so guilty and shameful I wanted to care for it myself but I know it wouldve been stressful for the baby to be in my shithole household I'm going to gift all the kitten formula and litter i can but God do I feel ashamed it's as if I did a sin saving a kitten
No. 2524152
File: 1747285091268.jpeg (30.91 KB, 524x486, IMG_0186.jpeg)
trying to cope with being an emotional femcel. just came to the realization that i was engaged over half a decade ago and that was the last time anyone has ever loved me. its clearly a major personality issue on my end- people have wanted to have sex with me since then and im called cute/pretty/etc on the regular, but when it comes time for emotional connection suddenly no one’s interested and are possibly even repulsed by the idea. my ex fiancé and i mainly broke up because i took everything for granted and i regret my actions every fucking day. its hard to only be wanted for sex or just as an interlude until what they really want is finally back/available/single. i wish i could just be asexual forever but i crave validation so bad. i hate hookups but no one has asked me out on a date in years and when i try to shoot my shot first i always get denied- but hey at least men who will fuck anything will fuck me and then refuse to call me an uber after!
No. 2524210
>>2523894>>2523892Cause I don't have a
valid reason for a breakup. Idk I feel like a few bad months shouldn't justify me quitting when difficult times are bound to happen. For now, I'm just observing to see what happens. He has a month before I pull the plug.
>>2523895I have periods of time where I'm just horny. That shouldn't be a bizarre concept to imagine in a functional person. I'm just, dissapointed by sex when it does happen most times, and I can't get rid of the frustratin by other means either.
No. 2524215
>>2523272I think the thong keeping you with him is that he didn't do something obviously big to warrant a breakup. That and your heart kinda pulls at you. Idk, I'm of the opinion you either need to marinate on the breakup so it's easier when you'll do it or just pull the plug.
You need to put yourself first. It sounds narcissistic but think about your realistic future with this guy. No one will be more there for you than yourself.
No. 2524251
>>2524069what does any of this have to do with gay people
>>2524050>Also, it's not twitter you retards, it's X.nobody likes shitter's new name anon
No. 2524298
>>2524288I think it would be bad karma if you took it upon yourself to make things worse. You can't control the way you feel, just the way you act.
I feel bad for the cat tho, I don't think it deserves this.
No. 2524366
i am falling deeper and deeper into despair and a pit of, in part, my own creation and it's getting near-impossible to crawl up out of it. i feel legitimately sick. i've been taking advantage of my coworker in the sense that she always takes my work anyway, because i need to be stationary (receptionist downgraded from admin assistant without any notice just saw it in a form despite being there for near 3 years. also never had a performance review positive OR negative nor a raise until a couple months ago which was company-wide by i digress), and she has gaping swaths of time to fill so i've just let her do whatever she wanted with my tasks because she was going to do it anyway. fast forward two years i simply hate my life and my job so i go "fuck it i'll be remote today, and yesterday, and leave 4hrs early the day before (did log back on though) despite my only purpose being a paid body, and take the calls from home and work on the photoshop projects i do actually have to do but even with those, have also been pushed off literally months and are needed by tomorrow! but i'll work from home because it'll give Coworker shit to do anyway, she's always doing it anyway, so i'm doing her a favor really. types of justifications. i'm 30 she's 50something. and very autistic and admittedly "very much" and i really don't actually care because she's a huge help but there's a lot of issues with the company i work for and how they hired her without ever talking to me about it given she became my supervisor essentially despite having the same title (at the time i was still in the books admin assistant). there's just baggage. anyway. i've been so depressed and taking off at least once or twice a month or requesting to work remotely, and to circle it back "taking advantage" of her adaptability, autism, and niceness about just covering me. and it makes me sick because i really appreciate her help and i tell her often and i make it very known i am nothing and that any praise i receive needs to go to her, because i am nothing without her. again i do verbalize these things. but i just fucking hate going in i hate being there i hate the comments from men and i hate the comments from our VP who i know likes me but he is like a fucking toddler and comments on my weight or fucks with my stuff or takes my food or tells me how worthless i am this that the other. he does this to everybody it isn't targeted harassment, but since i sit at reception i see him often coming in and out so it's just many many cases throughout the day of comments; in some other vent thread i posted about going through a slew of issues with my pets, one of which is a bunny who had to get his eye removed (alles gut on that front btw) and of course people at work ended up knowing about that. and so every time he sees me he makes this ""joke"" saying "did you have any bunny stew yet?" because he told me i should've just killed my rabbit and ate him instead of trying to make him survive. and i wish i had the strength to tell him to fuck off but i'm a coward (hence why i keep avoiding work altogether) so i just smile and nervous laugh and go "noo stop that's so mean. he's my son i'm not going to do that". which isn't effective. i don't even know what the point of this diatribe was anymore. i'm just so thoroughly miserable and it's affecting my job performance more than ever, and i'm trying but i care and i don't. i want to kill myself but i'm an only child and that would be the most selfish thing to do to my parents who have done nothing but love me and give me a beautiful life. i can list reasons why i've become the way i am but none of it is an excuse for the fact that i have the power to go to therapy or take medicine or try to really get out of these feelings i have. but instead i internalize it all, get drunk/high, and occasionally vent on lolcow because i'm not going to therapy and talk to no one irl about how i'm feeling. so it's making me sick and eating me away and i keep sinking further and further into this hole. bringing it all back. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
No. 2524380
>>2523711>>2523720she's mostly normal about periods and doesn't have a problem talking about them. i think it's a combination of some leftover shame regarding period products and her neurotic obsession with Everything Having Its Own Place, which basically means only she and nobody else can decide where an object has to be placed and if you put it elsewhere you're a
disgusting pig making a HORRIBLE DISASTEROUS MESS out of her house
Just To Spite Her.
>>2523790kek maybe
No. 2524550
File: 1747327106866.jpg (213.01 KB, 844x1200, 2670e2d19d667bf5c55876f12dab06…)
Being a women and having a cycle feels like an autoimmune disease sometimes. Every day I feel something twitching, itching, pinching me. My tits hurt sometimes. My uterus the other day, I feel horribly depressed, I have no apetite, I want to eat a lot. I'm pissed at everyone, I get emotional because of a sweet flower… I'm tired anonas
No. 2524569
File: 1747328441235.jpg (3.96 KB, 225x225, Untitled.jpg)
the semester is over and im taking summer classes but those dont start until near the end of the month. im so depressed. i always get depressed after the semester ends.
i love being busy, being a workaholic. this semester i have 2 jobs, but one is on pause because it's a tutor position at my school so. i start again when classes begin.
and its not like i need to pick up a new hobby; i only feel fulfilled through academia and i don't know why. i love learning, talking to the professors, interacting with my classmates and helping them understand concepts. i was blowing up the groupchats during finals week asking who needs help going over the review and making visual diagrams/explanations of stuff, i got sent invite links to other sections and did the same. its just so much fun. i will probably go for my masters after i get my bachelors
i just want to cry right now though, i feel so empty. my husband says i must be running from something because any time im sad he thinks its because of him for some reason? and he should be enough to make me happy. it makes me feel alone. being in college makes me feel alive and with a purpose. im doing something productive not only for myself but for other students.
i miss my professors the most, they were so fun to talk to. i live in a city with low literacy rates and for the first time ever i finally had an intellectual conversation with some people. like im not really smart, but my friends/coworkers would often make fun of me for using words bigger than 2 syllables. i could finally talk to people about my special interests because its also their special interests, and because they're much older = more experience, i got to learn even more. it made me so happy. now im just feeling empty. i wish i could talk to my professors every day.
No. 2524570
>>2524415I guess.
>>2524552Like other anon suspects I am indeed ill myself, but more functional/with a less "scary" issue. He was really satisfying my saviour complex for a whole year, but maybe I need to change in order to ever live a healthy life. He can't change, but I can.
I don't have any hate for people who experience psychosis and I'm very open-minded. But it's embarrassing to be mistreated in any way by a man like this. If he doesn't really like me what am I even doing wrong?
No. 2524621
File: 1747331497393.gif (2 MB, 330x204, 4343vjnfdno55445.gif)
Nonas, how do you deal with someone in a friend group that you find tolerating to be difficult? She…
>makes conversations about herself or her life in otherwise, mostly unrelated discussions that we'll have about something else
>only discusses movies, tv shows or books for either shipping, fetish content or just jerking off to how much she wants to fuck a particular character
It's not a long list of things and I'm not trying to set out on hating her, but it's super annoying and I cannot help but roll my eyes whenever she does that.
Worst part is that she's pretty much universally liked by everyone in our group so I feel like I'd be in the minority here with my opinion. Never once have I heard anyone say a single bad thing about her, compared to others who've been (rightfully) called out for stupid or annoying behavior. Plus, it's obvious they all do like her a lot so I'm not sure what to do exactly.
No. 2524686
File: 1747335025770.webp (97.98 KB, 1270x631, Polka%2C_Surrounded_by_Glowing…)
I feel the desire to get back into a video game but I know mentally I don't have the capacity. I'm also really picky and hate most of the games or drop them when I don't like the artstyle or some feature. I used to be really into Eternal Sonata for example, or I have an on and off addiction with Stardew Valley. I just want to fall in love with a game again.
No. 2524727
>>2524697You should adopt
nonny. You adopting a girl would save one more child from potentially falling into the hands of a moid pedo. However there's a strong preference for girls especially baby girls in the adoption world. So its unrealistic to aim for that imo. I intend to adopt a girl who is aged 5-10 one day.
No. 2524736
File: 1747338581346.jpg (58.8 KB, 611x850, 3ddaf8758c3ddc31476eb3b117767a…)
It's my brother's wedding this weekend and I honestly don't really wanna go because I hate most of my family. I get on with my brother but I can't stand most of the rest of my family and I moved away for a reason. I swear to god if anyone mentions anything about my appearance (because god forbid I don't have the body of a 14 year old anymore when I'm in my late 20s), the fact I don't have and don't want children, or says anything even remotely sly or insulting to me, I'm going to smack the shit out of them. I've had 5 years away from these freaks and I will not be putting up with any bs especially as it's a 2h journey to the wedding place.
I don't want to and don't care to know what you fat scrounging retards are up to, I don't care about your smelly autistic children and I don't want to hear you give your unwanted comments on areas of my life when I didn't even ask you to do it. I'm here for my brother and his wife and that's it.
No. 2524796
>>2524786Younger scrotes have been very porn-brained, and I'm tired of dealing with people younger than me like that. I suppose, I crave that of which I do not have, and I have not met an older man yet. I don't mean older as in senior age, but just
my senior.
I miss looking up to people. I miss having a crush on a "senpai" or whatever word equivalent is we have.
No. 2524851
>>2524830>>2524832>>2524839>>2524844I used to not be afraid of dying alone because I generally do not give a fuck. But this is dreadful to read and I'm at a loss of what to do. Without that desire to improve myself and my trade in order to impress someone I have a crush on, I feel aimless. Back to the drawing board I guess.
Porn was a mistake.
No. 2524854
File: 1747345316023.jpg (333.52 KB, 1073x540, drrr.jpg)
I reached out to one of the closest online friends I've ever had but I feel like I shouldn't have, because I heartlessly ghosted her several years ago for no good reason and know I had messed her up pretty bad about it. She used to desperately reach out to me, even e-mailed me a long e-mail saying she's sorry for whatever she may have done wrong and that she really misses me. She had even told me she used to have a crush on me, which I was completely blindsided by. I used to be so close with her and I destroyed it from self-isolating from everyone I know, even my good friends like her.
I know I can never expect anything to be the same ever again. It's been so long that for all I know, she's probably married, with kids, and/or already has multiple other people that have been a better friend than I could have ever been. I hope she's okay at least. I'm slightly worried because last time we met she mentioned she had BPD and seemed to smoke alot (finished a whole pack in the 1-2 hrs we were hanging out). I can't help but think I'm, at least in part, to blame for that. She cared about me alot and was one of the only friends I've ever had that did care like that..and I fucked it up. I don't even know how to begin making it up to her. Do I even deserve to be in her life anymore? At best, she is indifferent to me now and I'll never be more than an acquaintance. At worst, she must hate me and I'm probably a leading cause of all her mental health issues and chain-smoking.
No. 2524910
>>2524887ayrt lmao oops
>>2524892See, I'm a millenial, and all the moids my age are already settled happily. I'm no home wrecker, but I just really love looking up to
someone. All of my friends are, unfortunately, moids younger than me (I suck ass at socializing with women due to my bullshit idiot interests not aligning with anyone irl, and social media is full of gendies) and they're so horribly pornsick. They're fun to talk to normally but the second a fucking loli comes into their peripheral they go ape and start chimping all over it like they HAVE to fuck anime girls.
I know older men aren't pure or whatever bud god damn is there not even like
one other moid out there than can spare his time to have a little shithead like me trying to impress him. I just need it for the motivation moreso than selfworth.
Though I am envious of you; I could never land a nigel of my own since dating is out of my skillset.
No. 2524915
File: 1747348164824.png (22.51 KB, 694x263, IM FUCKIGN HATE MYSELF.png)
>>2524907>>2524907Imnot fuckgni baiign i hat eyou for beign O+ I HAT EYOU
No. 2524927
>>2524868Thank you nona.
>I think you are dealing with very serious guilt and shame that might not be totally related to her, because you seem to feel guilty and bad whether she was upset by your ghosting or whether she moved on from youYes, since ghosting her I've been on the receiving end of being ghosted by several people I thought became good friends and every time it's happened I feel like it has been karma for what I did to her. My closest friend from high school even stopped talking to me. And I myself have become a huge serial ghoster since then…A really nice girl I met back in community college recently reached out to me after I hadn't talked to her for years, only for me to end up ghosting her again.
I just can't stop ghosting so even if said friend were to allow me back into her life, I can't make any guarantee I won't do it again. I've lost every last one of my friends because I've failed to even try and keep any of them in my life. As far as most friends I have known are concerned, I have disappeared off the face of the earth. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them think I'm dead. Pretty much all the socials I used to have them on are now deleted. Most of them don't have my number or anything else personal like that. Coming back would be like trying to reintegrate into society after having been stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere for the last 6 years.
>You didn't "ruin" anything, you were just not ready to have such an intense friendship and needed to be alone for a moment for whatever reason and that's alright. Be kinder to yourself.Thanks, I hope so. She tried really hard to get back in contact with me after I disappeared. I've never had any other friend that tried so hard to look for me and wanted to talk to me that bad. Not even my in-person, supposed best friend from high school, because after seeing she didn't seem interested in talking or hanging out with me anymore, I ended up blocking her off of Discord and socials since I figured the friendship was dead anyway. Even she never bothered looking for me like this friend did. This friend is truly one of the only friends I've ever known that seemed to genuinely care. I think it's a testament to how close we used to be. I didn't think anyone could or would ever even care about me like that and I hate that I pissed all over it, but I hope I will do better at least.
No. 2524937
File: 1747349107112.jpg (66.75 KB, 471x711, 1000035641.jpg)
>>2524897Nona, I thought you were about to say you'd had a cancer diagnosis or something equally sordid, I wasn't expecting the subject of your despair to be
blood types. No. 2524994
>>2524897don't worry i'm also
A- we can double suicide together
No. 2525062
File: 1747358817564.jpg (2.61 KB, 160x147, GdMhhhVXUAAlUsV.jpg)
I just remembered a few years back when I found the twitter account of someone I was friends with (irl) and we had already drifted apart at that point, but her likes were just filled with hetslop western genshin yaoi and strange kpoop imagines like female idols getting fucked by their producers next to cropped porn clips and it made me lose a lot of respect for her even as somewhat of a former degenerate myself. She also lied about her age on her account and I think she also tried to larp as genderspecial for a while. It just weirded me out because she didn't come across as that kind of person at all otherwise
No. 2525067
File: 1747359391413.jpg (178.56 KB, 1080x1001, 1000030831.jpg)
I can't even tell if posts like these are satire or not anymore, I hate moids. I hate the fact that even when I find someone who makes some interesting content on one particular topic, I then see their social media and it's just redpilled scrotetalk. I really have to drop literally all male content creators except faggots in order to escape this shit
No. 2525072
File: 1747359962059.png (360.21 KB, 640x546, why.png)
the vp of my department snapped at me for no reason in front of half the office today and i am so embarrassed and mad
it was obviously misplaced anger bc a bunch of people were giving him shit about something he fucked up but in the midst of it he mentioned having a tech issue… when i hear people having issues (especially tech/it) i typically come over to see if i can help bc idk its just what i do, im basically an admin manager at my job and i like helping people when they have trouble. so i walk up and interject "wait what issue are you having? i think it might just be-" and he snapped back something like "you know its fine, just leave it! i really dont need help. i need something to be mad about today so it can be broken and i can just be mad at it being broken okay?" and like halfway through saying it he tried to change his tone bc it was clear he realized he had just snapped at me for fucking nothing but it still was so awkward and the entire office got so fucking quiet after he said it.
i just looked at him like "uh wtf.." and said "okay… well i have enough shit to be mad about today myself, so i'll leave you to it!" and walked back to my desk but i had the biggest knot in my stomach because of how fucking embarrassing it was. and it pisses me off bc why am i even embarrassed? he clearly made a complete ass of himself and i know everyone feels the same way because of the way they just stared at him. i am super highly regarded there and known as someone who is nice and goes above and beyond to help people out so i know people probably just thought "what a douchebag". but for some reason i still feel humiliated and it makes me so angry. its not even bc im ~hurt~ or something bc i legit already hated this person prior to this interaction, its just such an awkward thing to happen. i seriously just want to work from home tomorrow because these people can go fuck themselves. wtf is wrong with people
No. 2525082
File: 1747360859451.jpeg (Spoiler Image,74.73 KB, 680x680, Gq9MNhGXAAAYLA3.jpeg)
Men are ruining a cute meme!
No. 2525083
File: 1747360968642.jpg (181.24 KB, 1080x745, 1000030852.jpg)
>>2525069True. I got so sensitivie to those redpilled patterns of speech I can recognize them in a second irl and unfortunately there's more and more men like this irl, men who throw redpill terminology and defend age gaps out of nowhere. Overall I'm not in favor of age gaps but I still think there's a big difference between two people meeting randomly and liking each other, and men
specifically targeting younger women and fixating on age gaps and rejecting women who are literally their age. I wish it was possible to find a guy who doesn't use interet but where… On the other hand, is it really possible for the internet to change male preference? Maybe it just
triggers their true nature? Women cry about online porn consumption among men but if it can so drastically influence male preferences and behaviors maybe it just shows who they truly are. Just like giving women more freedom proved that many women, if given the choice, don't want to "naturally" settle for an ugly scrote and birth him a kid and do nothing else in life, but instead have more ambitious life goals plus they actually care about male looks, so do men, when given easier access to degenerate content (on the internet), also show their true colors…
No. 2525084
File: 1747361032899.png (832.52 KB, 892x892, Screenshot 2025-05-15 at 7.02.…)
My vent is that I think emojis should be fine if it's within the context of it being part of a "bit", such as
>>2524227 No. 2525143
File: 1747365862340.jpg (46.27 KB, 736x736, 2f10bc736e2e39e576fbb1f0e84c84…)
I wish I was East asian or white european and it would be cute when I have an accent or make grammatical errors, but instead I'm just a retard butchering a language.
I'm already really insecure that I'm not fluent, but how am I going to be fluent if I just get made of when I try to practice???
I wish I could an hero and be born as someone who is just already raised with five languages at birth
No. 2525162
>>2525144My friend (who has the same accent as me) was made fun of for "butchering the language" JUST for having an accent by a French guy (who also has a really thick accent). It wasn't targeted at me, but my accent is something I'm really insecure about, and it sucks that no matter how hard I work at studying new languages, I'll always have it.
I really want to reach fluency, but my own dumb insecurities are really weighing me down
No. 2525180
File: 1747371574782.jpg (339.71 KB, 2560x1708, iStock-1284692003-scaled-32344…)
My friends might be competing against each other for my attention now. I feel kind of bad. I wanted to have a best friend and kind of casted my line out as far as I could to see if I could develop such a bond after my previous best friend became an asshole, and I may have caught ore than I can handle. Now my relationships are imploding on me because I'm not tending to my friendships the way they're requiring of me.
It's a stupid as fuck problem to have and one of my own design. I just…. really miss that other friend. She's probably a gendie now. Most of the good ones end up getting taken over by that cult, and it was hard to watch her go. I don't want to talk to her ever again, and most of the bridges I burned I don't want to look back on.
But my goodness, what a mess I've made.
No. 2525196
File: 1747375762512.jpg (4.62 KB, 228x221, 1000289905.jpg)
I haven't been in lolcow since I was 18 and im 21 now, and my life feels like it's just gotten worse since then. I'm broke, short, fat, and I share a room with my dad, I still can't drive properly, etc.
It's already bad enough that I'm asian and in a 3rd world country lol, but I'm also studying a shitty major lmfaooo (couldn't change on time) and I'm probably gonna become an English teacher, which sucks. I'm behind uni for a year, everyone's graduating next year while I'll be stuck there for another year. My mom has a terminal sickness and she will never get a happy life or quality life in this household, she's only 56 and Parkinsons is ruining her (she's in the 3rd phase, as of now). Doesn't help that my older sisters are just waiting for her to die, constantly have to hear them verbally abuse her and my dad isn't helping at all, either. He refuses to understand how much money we need to spend for my mom to be able to live and she doesn't want a nurse at home to help her.
I can't be there for her at all times. Sure, both my parents weren't that good to us growing up but I hate it when they say I think money grows on trees whenever I make doctor appointments for her, I got her some physical therapy sessions today (we are starting tomorrow) and my sister lost it, calling me a retarded crazy bitch. I paid for them anyways… it's my own money and they've never spent a dime on her that wasn't our dad's. I don't know why I can't just die already. Sometimes i think it's my fault our mom is sick, because she spent so much time being a housewife and raising me was the nail on the coffin since my parents had me pretty late in their life. If I wasn't born and they just felt satisfied by my sisters they could've retired early.
No. 2525211
File: 1747377346207.png (2.17 MB, 1024x1024, 1000024446.png)
I wanna go home.
No. 2525236
>>2525202You are the kind of person that always ends up cheating when offered the change because you lack accountability. It’s always someone’s fault and never yours
>if he stopped bothering meWhile missing the fact that he keeps engaging with you because you give him the leeway
>what he says, what he does, stays on my mindWhile missing the fact that if you had these strong feelings towards him and felt uncomfortable with them distance would be right solution
No. 2525237
File: 1747381165943.jpg (78.85 KB, 680x1024, depositphotos_42697069-stock-p…)
Posted this before but yeah I am a huge pickme irl when in a relationship naturally since I feel love that way and suffering
At 25 just got into my first relationship and this is hell I literally find the moid a 10/10 . Cause although he has a gut, dicklet, greasy etc he has a really cute face to me and I like pasty nerdy guys. I tried wearing makeup all the time with him, paying for when I can 50/50 even though he is wealthier, doing his chores,giving his unwashed dicklet ahh sex whenever he wants (he literally rewears old laundry, barely see him shower and has always oily dandruff hair) mofo couldn't even spit to help the experience be less dry. And before you guys call me a troll for being such a pick me, like I said I see/saw him as perfect and I am naturally a pushover pickme irl if I like someone since in my mind they deserve it.
Regardless the issue is that I could tell he doesn't like me as much as I do for him. I am diagnosed tistic and even I could tell it. I confronted him about it and he was like well I like your appearance but you are not a 10 you aren't like Scarlett Johansson. Which she is heavier than me and he told me he would like me more if I lost weight whichh doesn't makes sense, also doesn't make sense that he would pursue me since I don't have hooded eyes like her or a big jaw/mouth etc. Also before he had bitched about me not liking stuff he likes which he knew before entering the relationship.
Is there anyway to find a moid who likes you as much as you like him? Reddit literally thinks this is normal behaviour for them to use us like this just cause they are desperate. Is my standard of finding a guy who likes me as much as I like him that high ?
Again not a troll and writing this after a night of drinking cause fml so sorry for the shit writting(integrate)
No. 2525251
File: 1747383181265.jpeg (43.61 KB, 736x733, IMG_8388.jpeg)
Drunk finally. Havent drank since it happened. You shall burn in hell and say no 1 million times and it wont happen. Youll make fun of whoever does it for their strength but it wont work!!! Betacuck!!! I’ll get better coping mechanisms later. Fuck you fuck you fuck you!! Fuck you!!!
No. 2525259
>>2525255True but how would I change me being a sped simp autist?
Not trying to not improve I just genuinely feel it is a core part of my personality you know?
No. 2525267
>>2525259You need to learn to keep that shit to yourself. Write cringe shit in your journal and don't say anything to the scrote you're simping for. Like
>>2525264 said you need to watch out for red flags and immediately vanish the second you find one, because red flags are like cockroach infestations, where there's one there's a million.
Men who want endless validation will keep you around purely to feel important, they won't care about you as a person or as a partner. You have to find one who truly loves and cares for you.