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File: 1715867560356.png (181.85 KB, 524x340, lol.png)

No. 2005215

Do you have any stories related to trouble with the law?
Have you ever been involved with police matters?
Today an anon who posted in the vent thread said she's in court for charges related to burglary

No. 2005217

Fuck off fed

No. 2005223

This thread is interesting but I've got nothing to contribute. I've seen at least 3 nonnies in jail by now

No. 2005226

>>2005217
I can't prove it, but definitely not a fed, but yeah I see how talking about trouble with the law and crimes could be problematic as practically any Internet interaction is recorded somewhere
It's just a talk thread though
>>2005223
What did they do?

No. 2005234

>>2005226
One in the graduation thread, not sure what they did. Then there's an anon who sold fireworks to the wrong person, and then the burglary one.

No. 2005240

File: 1715869441002.png (239.88 KB, 517x536, totallyanonny.png)

>>2005215
omg haha!! what a funny thread!! wouldn't it be funny if nonnies accidently revealed all of their warcrimes!!! oops! what a girly joke!!

No. 2005246

Someone please tag that jail anon that should be out already if I’m not mistakened. Congrats nonnie, fuck 12

No. 2005266

File: 1715871134404.jpg (167.6 KB, 1278x633, weloveourtroops.jpg)

I peaked my NSA agent listening to me on my Echo Dot and made three highway patrol men cry, what have you done for your country lately glowy?

No. 2005267

we need a glowing elsie pic

No. 2005269

I'm addicted to throwing poop jars at homeless men!!

No. 2005270

FREE MY NIGGA NONNY!

No. 2005271

I'm a frequent jaywalker

No. 2005273

A cashier gave me once 2€ too much change back and I didn't say anything.

No. 2005276

I once stole a book from a public library because the guy at the counter was gone for 15 minutes

No. 2005278

I have 16 lbs of cocaine in the back of my truck rn, I'm also a distracted driver and EXTREMLY drunk

No. 2005280

>>2005278
You forgot to mention that you found oil in your backyard, nonnie.

No. 2005281

The real trouble with this thread is that all 90% of anons will have done is internet piracy and petty shoplifting, which is boring. Anything more interesting, you'd have to be a fool to confess just for the attention on lolcow.

No. 2005284

I stole enough donuts (because $3 each) that my local supermarket stopped selling them.

No. 2005285

Anyone else shopliftmsxxing??
I swear I'm not paying 5$ for a pin or some hair ties, I love stealing, I will steal anything available to me

No. 2005292

>>2005215
Years ago my friend got arrested/raided by the police when she threw a house party because someone there decided to sell and the buyer turned out to be a DEA agent. She described it as like 20 agents and dogs surrounding the house screaming at everyone to come out. Some people managed to run and get away (behind her house is a huge forest so I guess they ran there?) but she got charged which sucks.
As for me I haven't done anything noteworthy, but as a kid my white friend and I would walk around stores. I'd get followed around while she'd steal and then we'd leave and split the goods lol.

No. 2005298

>>2005284
Kek how often did you do it

No. 2005301

>>2005215
My ex beat me up and left me in a strange town so I beat him up at a later date (next time I saw him). He went and told the police that I tried to push his girlfriend under a bus, the police came to my house and I told them the real story, the police left with no issue lol.

No. 2005307

A relative of mine was recently detained for human trafficking and was let out early. Last month we went on a two hour drive to pick her up from a detention center where most immigration offices were and all my family did was get after her for getting caught.

No. 2005311

My personal cow is a kleptomaniac with an online presence that includes her face, name, and hometown. She's been caught 5 times (at the last count, I haven't been following her) and has years of shoplifting worth thousands of dollars publicly documented on her profile. It's a real miracle she hasn't been reported to the local police, but she uses an english-speaking website that hugboxes her to hell. If I identified her she'd probably be cowtipped immediately.

No. 2005326

i used to steal candy bars as a teen to look cool and rebellious in front of my friends

No. 2005344

>>2005326
you deserve to rot in jail you flithy criminal

No. 2005345

>>2005326
Lowlife scum.

No. 2005347

shoplifting should be allowed

No. 2005348

File: 1715874632889.jpeg (21.12 KB, 604x438, IMG_3391.jpeg)

>>2005285
Target is my favorite place to shoplift from.

No. 2005351

>>2005285
As someone who used to work in retail, shoplifters are so much better than people who open stuff like lotion, remove the seals, shove their dirty fingers in it and put it back. No bitch, that shit is yours now!

No. 2005359

>>2005285
Me. I shoplifted Colgate teeth whitening strips the other day. Fucking 20 dollars? No. Now it's free.

No. 2005360

File: 1715875396091.jpg (82.92 KB, 615x409, ezgif-1-925665ea1e.jpg)

>>2005285
I managed to lift one of these. Probably my proudest thieving moment
>>2005234
Burglary nona got parole

No. 2005363

>>2005360
*probation

No. 2005366

File: 1715875635902.jpg (173.45 KB, 1200x1200, 1715871568601.jpg)

>>2005363
Linking so people can see kek
>>>/ot/2005279

No. 2005370

File: 1715875750228.jpg (14.7 KB, 300x250, f6f91a41a66e89c9e9e017a6b8d236…)

my guilty conscience cant take it anymore i admit it! i used to steal plastic jewelry and shiny gems whenever i went to the store to buy clothes as a child, i couldn't resist the shiny glitter gems on the dresses

No. 2005371

>>2005348
Careful nona, I heard that they keep tabs on frequent shoplifters and don't do anything until they've stolen enough that they can charge them with a felony

No. 2005377

>framed for credit card fraud I swear I didn't do it
>vendor I bought darknet drugs from got busted
>one time had to call cops on a boyfriend with a gun

think that's it

No. 2005384

i attempted to steal like $20 worth of drugstore makeup when i was a kid and i got caught leaving the store. the lpo took me in his office and threatened to call the cops, called my dad who purposely took over an hour to show up so i had to sit there with the lpo and listen to him bitch about how long my dad was taking to pick me up, and then they banned me from the store.
i've been too chicken to shoplift since then besides the odd time at self checkout when i buy multiples of something i sometimes scan 1 or 2 less than i actually have

No. 2005385

I pirate movies sometimes

No. 2005387

File: 1715876591345.jpg (57.03 KB, 680x656, 0e2.jpg)


No. 2005388

>>2005285
i very rarely shoplift but it’s only ever small things like a tube of chapstick or gum. that said i did steal a watermelon once. just put it in my cart and did not scan it once i reached self checkout.

i’d love shoplifting tips though kek

No. 2005398

I stole a starburst from my girl scout troop leader because I was hungry and she made me sit in a corner and write lines. I stabbed a girl after she kicked my desk over while I was in it at school. Her mom wanted to press charges but never went through with it. All I had to do was stay 15 ft away from her for a year. Didn't even switch any classes. Wasn't suspended either kek. I think it's because I've always been a good student while she was a little behind and loud. Then in university the police called me because I told the automatic messaging bot to kys and that I don't care if male vets commit suicide because of how they mistreat women. Nothing happened because I had already dropped out. I got a ticket for taking out a stop sign but it wasn't my fault it was raining. I didn't do my taxes in 2022 because I don't know how TurboTax works, but I did end up getting them done this year. Yes the IRS knows.

No. 2005401

>>2005398
Based and crimepilled

No. 2005408

>>2005398
Speaking of things stolen from girl scout troop leaders, I stole one's key's and dropped it down the drain. Why? Because young children have low empathy and understanding of cause and effect.

No. 2005413

once had to spend overnight in jail, been into lot of parties that got police involved, once police caught me stealing a traffic sign but they just let me go, once got caught shoplifting but my biggest worry ws that police would notice my counterfeit id but luckily they didn't and just let me go again with no consequences or anything. i've dealed drugs but never got caught from that and done i guess kinda lot of other illegal stuff but never got in trouble, weirdest police encounter was when i was just minding my own business and walking late at night and police car started following me and the police rolled down their window and started pestering me about what i was doing. shit just getting some exercise.

No. 2005653

>>2005371
is this even true? I went through a phase in 2020 where I was stealing damn near thousands weekly and nothing happened

No. 2006279

>>2005298
Everytime I see something that was trapped under a ridiculous price, my last possession was a bouncy ball shaped like an egg.

>>2005388
Be a woman (people get less suspicious) and wear oversized clothes, it's really easy to slip a bunch of small things.
If there are cameras recording you or staff nearby then go to the item to want to steal and grab two of them at the same time, slip one as quickly as possible inside your sleeve and check the second out just to put it back, this only works with small things.

No. 2006338

>>2005371
'wait til they've stolen x value of items before nabbing them' is def a thing that not enough people know about. They'll sit back and monitor you across multiple visits, letting you walk out the door with stolen items till you've finally hit the.. k now it's a felony threshold. Adding up your total the whole time till it's worth their time to act on it.

I grew up with security in my family and they'd talk about certain neighbors being shoplifters before they ever knew they'd been caught so the long game thing isn't new but there's alot of police bodycam vids up on youtube lately since walmart is going hard with the collect evidence now and hit you with a felony later game

No. 2006378

>>2005653
>>2006338
It depends on the store's policies and discretion. Where I work, we will "let" you steal for a bit just so we have actual proof of your intent, but we have detained people for a total of like…150 bucks aggregated. We don't aim to charge people with felonies, we just want proof that you're actually stealing and we have grounds to trespass you so we don't have to deal with you anymore. I don't necessarily care about the store losing money because I work for a corporate chain, but theft DOES impact the store. Thieves are generally sloppy as shit, they mess up the zone, they create work for my coworkers (especially the pussy asses that load up full carts and then get scared and just leave them laying around instead of pushing out or concealing, causing reshop and food waste). Loss also fucks with our inventory, so if you order something online it ends up getting cancelled because someone stole it. The system also just doesn't know you stole, so it doesn't know to repopulate the salesfloor with inventory from the backroom, so the spot you stole from is just empty until someone audits it manually.

When it comes to criminal charges though, if you are stealing cartloads of shit or treating me and my coworkers like shit, I am retaining every last bit of evidence and definitely hitting you with felony theft if I can help it, but generally I just want thieves to fuck off and go somewhere else. No hate to my criminal nonnies, but thievery is generally just kind of ratchet behavior, and when a bunch of people are stealing the store goes to shit kek.

>I went through a phase in 2020 where I was stealing damn near thousands weekly and nothing happened

People were being soft on property crime during the pandemic, so you got pretty lucky. The hammer is coming back down, so if you want to steal again just don't be greedy, and comply with employees if you get caught.

Also, being on the "same side" as the cops is pretty funny for multiple reasons. I have had to scold some of them for their attitudes toward theft. Some of them will arrest a thief for me and afterwards say "why didn't you just kick them out before they stole?" Uh because it's not a crime until they leave, idiot? You want me to discriminate against people just because they look homeless and they picked out a 150 dollar blender? That's bigotry, baby. Also, on the other hand, some of the better ones will develop a soft spot for you and go ham when someone lifts a finger towards you. One of our regular thieving moids shoved me when we tried to detain him and the cop we called said "Oh, he shoved someone? HE SHOVED ANON??" and he hunted the thief down and tackled the shit out of him kek, very satisfying.

No. 2006436

I stole a toy dinosaur from a department store when I was a kid, I think 5-7 years old or so. It was really ridiculous that the security guard came out full force and brought a huge dog to the parking lot just to scare me and my parents because I stole a piece of plastic worth $3. Retard moid should've just let me take it.

No. 2006496

File: 1715961242979.png (3.88 KB, 275x275, minimal eye-contact.png)

When I was 11 or so my friend and I set up a plan where one of us would distract the local cashier (tiny town) and the other would steal 2 ice creams or a pack of gum.
We only did it twice, and looking back on it the 20 year old something cashier most likely knew what we were doing but did not care one bit about it.
My aunt solo-ran a stationery shop and sometimes when she went away to pee I yoinked some sticker sets and a couple of fake piercings as well.
Wish I had committed more crimes as a child because that's when you can get away with it.

No. 2006734

Just in, footage of the anon busted for burglary

No. 2006740

jail was actually kind of fun KEK, its only scary if you're in like state pen or somewhere serious for a big bad boy crime or something really shitty

No. 2006748

>>2006740
Check out the "Booked: First Day In" series on Youtube

No. 2006844

>>2006740
You need to tell us more come on

No. 2006864

Not directly but I did get a fake FBI email from someone directly impersonating an FBI agent. I was advised to report it to the FBI since apparently it's illegal but I'm outside the US so I wonder if it really matters

No. 2006870

>>2006864
Samefag but I should clarify by what I meant directly: It had a full name and fake "proof"/identification of an agent. I could tell it was obviously fake though, it was one of those fake purchase emails that scammers use to try to scare you into thinking you actually had a fraudulent purchase totaling in thousands of dollars or something. No way that FBI email address was real either because I checked.

No. 2006898

>>2005385
Same, it's probably the only illegal thing i do on a constant basis, I'm way too nerdy and antisocial to actually go out and have trouble with the law myself.
>>2005387
They massacred my boy Miguel on that movie so bad.

No. 2007072

>>2006748
Hanna seems fun. I hope she didn't get shanked

No. 2007254

>>2006740
>bed bugs, mildew, stinky puthy is fun
Nah

No. 2007259

>>2005366
I found the others
Firework anon (she's out now btw)
>>>/ot/1804049
Graduation anon
>>>/ot/1033437

No. 2007261

>>2006734
What do they gain from sharing this kind of stuff? Patting themselves on the back?

No. 2007271

File: 1716002337243.jpeg (299.17 KB, 750x914, IMG_1369.jpeg)

lol when I was in my early 20’s a guy I was stalking got a restraining order against me. It’s true that I was stalking my him but my lawyer clearly laid out to the judge that what I did didn’t meet the legal definition of stalking/harassment/intimidation, but the pick me bitch judge approved of the restraining order anyway.
I was able to get it removed and scrubbed from my record by my states appellate court, but yeah the entire process was a pain in the ass. I got really lucky though and my lawyer worked for me pro bono.
Also the dumbass judge got national news attention two years later because she prevented the deportation of an armed carjacker only for him to violently murder a doctor soon after.

No. 2007283

>>2007271
who drew that pic?

No. 2007286

>>2007271
was he even cute or did you get a restraining order for an uggo?

No. 2007293

>>2007271
How much stalking? Like a bit of following outside or going through his garbage to get stuff for the love shrine?

No. 2007296

>>2007283
kangmoro
>>2007286
he wasn’t attractive in the face, but he was tall and had a lot of money

No. 2007297

>>2007271
Dumbass judge. You should periodically smear her online to add to the articles. Never let her live it down.
Based lawyer though. Also based of you. I am too nervous to stalk my crush but God how I wish I could tie him up like that pic.

No. 2007302

>>2007296
Damn. At least you have standards though. I like em cute but I'm an idiot and don't care too much about money or height. I feel like a pickme but I want to be able to dress the moid and make him look like a cute rapeable fantasy lad, you know?

No. 2007315

>>2007296
>he wasn’t attractive in the face
absolute waste of time then

No. 2007322

>>2007293
I spam messaged all his family and coworkers that I was his wife and pregnant and I needed to know his whereabouts, looking back it was incredibly cringe and embarrassing but I only feel bad for myself, not him. Ugh I didn’t deserve that restraining order, it’s not like I’m some violent moid who beat his gf or whatever the fuck
>>2007297
I know I got so lucky with the lawyer
As for the judge, I’m kind of afraid to even post anything about her because judges have a god-tier status and any minor criticism of them online can get you in trouble. She was getting roasted by conservative media though and I think she was even on Fox News after that doctor murder case. Crazy how she had more sympathy for that feral criminal enough to prevent his deportation and not me, a simple, down bad girl
>>2007302
>>2007315
I know, tbh I wish I could go back in time and never even meet him. I fold for any guy that is mildly flirtatious with me

No. 2007324

>>2007322
>I spam messaged all his family and coworkers that I was his wife and pregnant and I needed to know his whereabouts
my sides. Are you bpd or something? you need to work on yourself so you dont end up in trouble again thanks to a scrote, he's not worth it.

No. 2007332

>>2007324
Idk if I have any mental disorder, but I just don’t know how to cope with rejection and heartbreak without going insane, so I’ve been volcel for a few years now. I definitely mellowed out emotionally, but maybe that just comes with aging and having a frontal lobe that’s finally fully developed.

No. 2007342

>>2007332
Sounds like BPD, get some dbt therapy

No. 2007361

>>2007324
i misread this as whoreabouts

No. 2007379

>>2006279
>Be a woman (people get less suspicious)
This is not true at all, trust me, especially in clothing stores. My dad was security in a high end department store and he told me many stories confirming this, they even had a specific female officer for frisking female shoplifters. They are just very sneaky about following you all around.

No. 2007399

>>2007379
Women get busted so often in high end retail. Bitch you think they didn't eye you shoving that $700 tennis skirt in your ass crack? You think they don't see you shoving those Lewis Vutton polishes in your bra?

No. 2012493

So I was thinking about stealing some clothes. If I go into Zara wearing a big jacket and go into the changing rooms with like seven tops and some other stuff, take the tags off with a magnet, put three of them on and give back four will they notice? When it's busy they don't check how much you bring in, if there's anyone there at all. I'd probably buy like one or two small things to not arouse suspicion.

No. 2012510

>>2006864
>>2006870
yeah, i would report it
they wont care that your not in the us

ive done it when i reported a norwegian making oslo shooting threats to the oslo police despite being in the uk

many countries have agreements and cooporate when it comes to crime

No. 2012514

THROW POOP JARS AT HOMELESS MEN AHHH

No. 2012520

File: 1716319661648.jpg (485.29 KB, 1024x768, possum1.jpg)

>>2012514
DON'T USE JARS, LIGHT THE POOP ON FIRE

No. 2012523

>>2012520
I DONT WANT POOPY HANDS

No. 2012538

File: 1716320303030.gif (441.87 KB, 400x400, possum-opossum (1).gif)

>>2012523
WEAR GLOVES
STOLEN GLOVES
STEAL THE POOP TOO

No. 2012558

File: 1716320845742.jpeg (794.76 KB, 1156x761, 9D0C8A36-5FDE-4572-8838-7E1455…)


No. 2012573

File: 1716321557592.webp (76.1 KB, 1400x955, IMG_3833.webp)

the fuck is happening in this thread

No. 2012576

File: 1716321695224.webp (11.09 KB, 720x405, carmen-sandiago.webp)

>>2012573
Crime shit

No. 2012589

File: 1716322061851.gif (477.17 KB, 220x220, cleanse the world.gif)


No. 2012625

>>2007261
Old reply but

Police running the account
>They seem responsible and reasonable. Florida PD gets a bad rep so it looks good for them. If it was run by the cops they aren't showing body cams with them going in guns blazing. I guess you could call it copaganda but I'm not a fan of that word

Random person running the account
>Get dollars from those clicks from publicly accessible videos
>Get paid by people to take down those videos. When I got arrested there was a few sites that had my mug shot up where I could pay to take it down so my name wouldn't be the first thing you see on Google Images. They could still find my mug shot but you would have to request every states court site.

No. 2013322

>>2012493
Zara is impossible to steal from. Don’t even try it

No. 2013334

i'm always in trouble with the mods here i don't know if that counts

No. 2013343

>>2012493
nonna if you walk in with 7 and walk out with 4 they're gonna notice lol

No. 2013345

>>2013334
I think the mods don't like me to be honest (but I like them!).

No. 2013352

>>2013345
idgaf about them outside of brief flashes of irritation. they're just site typical retards with a hammer

No. 2013353

I used to love lurking lifting/borrowing blogs on tumblr
Maybe if i ever move out of my hometown

No. 2013368

>>2013353
i havent' gotten caught but shoplifting is fun

No. 2013682

>>2006734
Great, now I have to stalk this account and make sure they don’t post footage of my arrest, I was acting crazy and looking crazy and sobbing like a maniac and asked the cop to put me down like ol yeller.
was this really a nonna who got arrested in deland Florida??

No. 2013693

>>2012625
I’m so glad my full legal name is extremely common and nobody knows me by it kek. My mugshot is so fucking ugly it makes me wanna cry.

No. 2013770

I got a DV battery charge dropped by the state and spent a night in jail over it and it fucking sucked.
>>2006740
Jail was not fun wtf
>>2007254
There weren’t any pests and everybody was pretty obsessively clean but it was gross and demeaning and the food was garbage. Psych wards suck too but they’re like a vacation compared to jail. Fuck jail.

No. 2013886

>>2013368
da but righttt it is. once my friend asked me to buy her makeup but i didn't want to buy something that, so i said "if you can put it in your bag I'll take the fall for you if you get caught" and she lifted it successfully kek. babby's first lift. I've lifted all kindsa shit from raw meat to cereal to clothes but never makeup so that was a first for us both. ♥

No. 2014109

>>2013682
I don't think it was burglary nonna. She used words like solicitor and suspended sentence instead of lawyer and parole. She's probably Bri'ish

No. 2014360

>>2012625
I have never been able to find my mugshots which is a shame because I knew it was coming so I got my hair and make up done and wore a flattering colored dress. I didn't want to look trashy if I ended up on the TV over it.
>>2013682
Whenever I see women having a breakdown in public, I have nothing but sympathy for them and figure they're literally having the worst day of their life. But I feel nothing but a sense of unease over the danger when I see a man having a breakdown in public.

No. 2015474

I ate leaves

No. 2015486

>>2015474
You're a psychopath and deserve to rot in a maximum security prison.

No. 2015973

>>2015474
No trial, execution

No. 2016113

I once had a lolcow call the police on me for posting on lolcow and kiwifarms. I had police show up to my parents house. I got interviewed by an officer and was essentially told to delete any posts with photos. That was the end of my interaction.
It was a mistake to be a friend of a lolcow before them turning into a lolcow and then finding about how milky they actually were in retrospect on lolcow.

Other than that, I work alongside police in my current career, so I do get occasional knowledge of what's going on where I'm working and informing the officer that visits of what is up.

No. 2016117

>>2016113
Do the feds really care about what's being said here? I could see /pol/ or 8chan but this is a pretty small site. I think it's less than 10k users from the Hellweek stats

No. 2016118

File: 1716465191997.png (26.51 KB, 361x600, stats.png)

>>2016117
Actually more like 5k

No. 2016125

>>2016118
so many croats

No. 2016126

>>2016113
I'm sorry but I'm calling bullshit, there's no way to proof what your posts are. Nevermind admins never buckle to cow requests even when they put out a lawsuit, the only time they cooperate with police is when trannies spam cp here. Nice try glowie

No. 2016129

>>2016126
The site is owned by someone in England so I can kinda see info sharing happening but I can't see the cops going for international data requests unless it was super serious
>>2016125
Not enough if you ask me

No. 2016136

>>2016118
I'm surprised there's Saudi cows. I wonder what they post about.

No. 2016151

>>2016118
>There are 66 other nonnies from Argentina
I wanna meet them…

No. 2016156

>>2016129
I was just about to ask anon if they're in england by any chance. I've seen (usually trannies tho) send the police after women who've so much as called them ugly online and the most ott seriousness it's been treated with by police who must deep down hate having to conduct these bs interviews. Linzi Smith comes to mind.

No. 2016170

>>2016151
Sorry I deleted my comment because I thought it might be offensive. Here's what i said

Mention the Malvinas. That usually gets a reaction

No. 2016187

File: 1716469740898.webp (59.96 KB, 1080x1350, RDT_20240523_09564664761616818…)

>>2016170
MALVINNNAAAAS !!!!!! ARGENTINASSS!!!!!
I WILL SHOPLIFT THE MALVINAS!! PUT THEM IN MY BRA AND STEAL THEM!!!
dw nonnie, most young people don't feel too strongly about them, it only starts to becomes a sensitive issue because brittoids online will intentionally treat you like shit and taunt you when they hear where you're from

No. 2016196

>>2016187
Thanks I used to work with a lot of South Americans and they mentioned that to roast each other. Also Messi is overrated usually got 7-1 back to the Brazilian guys. I don't get it but it sounded funny

No. 2019834


No. 2020675

>>2019834
Rim Tim Tagi Dim

No. 2025715

>>2013682
>and asked the cop to put me down like ol yeller
KEK



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