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No. 1927216
Don't reply to bait
prev
>>>/ot/1917497 No. 1927268
File: 1710582992373.jpg (9.44 KB, 480x360, 1708543334529756.jpg)
Work is kicking my ass so I have a lot of pressure on me, I have to train several people on top of doing my own tasks, I have to replace my manager while she's on sick leave for some of her tasks, and I'm working overtime more and more often. I'm coping by shopping online, ordering junk food everyday and complaining online behind everyone's back now.
No. 1927430
File: 1710597319811.jpeg (88.32 KB, 736x726, IMG_9618.jpeg)
>me hopping into the celebricows thread to read them not knowing there would be racist undertones and microaggressions coming from anons out of all the threads kekkkkk
god it sucks browsing imageboards as a black woman, if you complain you’re called “woke” or if it’s a white moid you’re called a nigger and hearing them say they will “rape niggers” but yes i’m like sooooooowoke hahahahahhaa so woke for noticing things and women shouldn’t be hurt by anything. most things on the internet don’t phase me but repeatedly having your race denigrated can take a toll on you and idk i rather be a well-developed human being that can process and handle my emotions than constantly burying them because mentioning it hurts other women and makes moids irritated at best. every non black woman and moid expects you to be at the very bottom and have basically set up every circumstance for you to take most of emotional distress and verbal abuse so other women don’t have to endure the same suffering you’re having. you only exist as a class so other people don’t have to suffer and you’re supposed to grit a smile with other women who benefit off of your class being a global laughing stalk and we’re all girls girls yeah, yeah right. I hate other women except for my female relatives
No. 1927469
>>1927440Being Jewish on IBs sucks as well. I'm only part Jewish but I can't help but feel like my ancestry is used as the launchpad for an assortment of conspiracy theories to the point where it's humiliating. tons of my father's family were chased out of their respective countries, and then forced to change their name to a more Anglo one when settling in America.
I'm not talking about anti Zionism against Israel btw I'm just talking about the sheer magnitude of idiots who indulge casually or fully in blaming the Jews for everything, saying things like Sorosbux are real, calling us monsters, posting that caricature happy merchant meme, dropping triple parentheses and claiming we're all lizards. It makes me want to break a mirror.
No. 1927480
>>1927463What's interesting is that karen as a term exists when there's more middle aged/boomer men that do the same shit and much worse, speaking from experience as a former retail wagie. Since they're actually harmful and creepy nobody actually records them since they're men and therefore more threatening than crazy "karens" complaining about the wrong coffee and wanting to see the manager or something. Pulling up a phone on them would get you physically assaulted. The misogyny is clear as day, especially when you see the amount of ragebait spawned from this on youtube and similar platforms, there's a whole industry built around this.
I will never say that you aren't allowed to be upset about these women, but whenever someone brings up how there's no male equivalent people put fingers in their ears I guess. Yet another example of how it's much easier to clown on women, and how women will always have to act proper if they don't want to get punished. When men release their frustrations like this in public, nobody gives a shit in the same way.
No. 1927492
>>1927479Barely anyone who isn’t a retard isn’t calling a black woman “karen” for acting up lmfao, moids and normies have a plethora of words to choose from when they see black women act up and be aggressive in public because almost like white and black are different, who would have thought?? I feel you’re a eurofag or a female brownie because of the willful ignorance of how deep this shit goes when it comes to intersectionality. Let me explain this in toddler speak. White woman = still woman. Jewish woman = still woman. Asian woman = still woman. Black woman = still woman. Word before woman, what are those words? Another defining class. Black women are women but because we are attached to another class struggle which involves are race we will likely be called sheboons, monkeys, niggers, people picking at our weaves, etc. a whole lot before someone brings up the word “karen” kek. And I’ve been seeing racial slurs being hurled at black women a whole lot these days online while white women those poor wittle
victims are getting the brunt of misogyny that every woman just experiences but time must halt and stop for you and those white-adjacent browntard women. Pretending to be stupid at its finest, you must be living under a bridge.
No. 1927512
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Just let my mom berate me for an entire car ride after groceries because I'm a retard who can't get a job. I can't say anything back because, well she'll kick my ass and kick me out. And in the middle of her berating me she started berating a coworker at her work who got sex abused, and then she asked me to work at her place of employment. Like literally right after she brought up another woman getting sex abused. Is my mom the devil?? Wtf. Like thanks mom I love you, you're so sweet and I definitely feel good around you. I'm definitely not gonna go home and cry.
No. 1927514
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>>1927430I feel you, anon. I still don't hate other women, but I just don't go out of my way anymore, unless someone I'm personally close to is involved.
It's disturbing to know there will always be a significant number of people who'll just hate you, as in "go out of their way to bash you or anyone like you", and actively want you to die, be humiliated or be put through pain, and it's not for anything you've done or how you actually are. It's because "umm uhh ummmm ur skin color", maybe coupled with some graphs and claims that don't even have to apply to you to be "
valid" in their eyes. It's actually so fucked that this is just the world we live in, there's nothing you can do to stop it because those people are invested in denying both your individuality and personhood, and if you ever even acknowledge it, people will get mad at you, try to gaslight about it, call everything "woke", and then proceed to attack you in the exact way they claim never happens, lmao.
There are still issues with the world that I care about, but I kind of feel like anything to do with helping other people will just result in getting exploited or backstabbed eventually. If I'm only going to be viewed as a token, a tool or an exception in any given political movement, I think I'm better off being individualistic.
No. 1927526
>>1927492Everyone who uses karen unironically is a retard. I'm black but you're right, I'm not a burger so my experience with this retardation is mostly limited to online and zoomers using broken english irl.
>called sheboons, monkeys, niggers, people picking at our weaves, etc. a whole lot before someone brings up the word “karen” I don't know why you think it's impossible to be pissed off at both or why you think white anons who are pissed off at the usage of karen are fine with racebait. It doesn't even fucking matter because at the end of the day we get both the racism and the misogynistic slurs. Moids don't give a shit, do you think they go "hmm I already called her a stinking sheboon, better not call her an ugly karen/whore/hag/whateverthefuck too"? They hate us no matter what race and will say anything to seethe about us.
No. 1927571
File: 1710606545556.png (449.26 KB, 1032x720, AAAAA.png)
I don't want coffee I want an energy drink I can just pop out and drink.
Why do they have to be bad for you, this SUCKS.
No. 1927575
File: 1710606701508.png (142.37 KB, 757x619, Screen Shot 2024-03-16 at 12.3…)
>>1927571Nona don't believe what Big Doctors try and shill about energy drinks. As long as you get the ones without sugar (look for healthy aspartame options) you will be fine. In fact, a lot of energy drinks are anti-carcinogenic as well. Drink the energy drink and be alive.
No. 1927609
>>1927601This isn't funny. You're actually a freak for being in her walls. Please get out of them and stop harassing us. It's getting out of hand.
>>1927606You most likely have an excess of blood or sanguine humour which is why the coffee is repulsive to you. Energy drinks are cold and can help balance your humours by introducing phlegmatic energy into your body.
No. 1927742
>>1927734> This wasnt the first time we've been through this, breaking up, me being kicked because im not on the lease>there itn going to be another man who will love and tolerate me like he diSome tough love but it sounds like he wasnt "tolerating" you either if he continuously kicked you out.
Sounds like he kept you around for convenience. Please work on yourself alone and put any thoughts of romance and partners out of your mind. Get yourself somewhere safe and comfortable, work up savings and live your life for yourself rather than a partner. Spend more time with friends, if no friends work on getting friends. Do stuff outside of the house in nature to improve your mood.
No. 1927776
File: 1710617056793.jpg (348.09 KB, 801x788, Ice.jpg)
>>1927571I bulk buy these on Amazon, they aren't as harsh as monster or red bull and have less caffeine and better ingredients. Their are other good flavors but this is my favorite.
No. 1927955
I don't know what to label my sexual orientation. I am female and after so many times of trying to concentrate or try to feel something, anything, towards male bodies.. I realize that I just can't do it, no matter how hard I try. They either cause me to feel sick to my stomach at worst, and absolutely nothing at best.
With female bodies, though, a completely different story. I get aroused even when women are doing nothing sexy at all, or doing something benign.
At the same time, though, men have had sex with me, and I did tried things with them, so I think lesbian is out. I don't want to offend people or make them think I am trying to be something I'm not, but I don't know what to do or what to label myself that is as unoffensive as possible.. yet lets me reject males in peace.
I can't let another man touch me ever again. If one tries, I might just kill myself, I'm not kidding.
No. 1927967
>>1927955How old are you
nonnie? So what if you're not a gold star lesbian? You're repulsed by the male body. Female bodies turn you on. End of story. You've done things out of hope maybe you haven't met the right guy, but it's been proven wrong.
No. 1927978
>>1927967I'm an adult, that's all I can say lol. Yeah, I mean, it really doesn't help that I keep thinking about women whenever a man is like "oh let's kiss, let's have sex, etc" and its like, as long as I have women on my mind.. I'll be okay..
But then its like, wtf kind of life is that? I don't have to think about men whenever I am with women, I'm just 100% present and happy with them.
>>1927969It's hard because obviously I want a serious relationship/marriage with a woman someday and so of course ppl are gonna ask you what's your orientation because it is important when people's hearts are on the line. And I get it.
I feel like this is the only website I can say this shit out loud but ever since the trans bullshit invaded the LGB community, EVERYTHING has become way more confusing than ever before. I can't say I only get turned on my p*ssy because then I get called transphobic or a
terf. And then on the other side of the fence, I feel ashamed of stepping on other lesbians' toes because a fair number of them are gold stars and are probably sick and tired of those weird heterosexual women coming into their spaces, claiming they are lesbians also but then you see them happily being with trans women and what not.. and so its all a mindfuck to me.
Yeah I mean, maybe its best I don't go by any labels and just say I can only feel sexual attraction and excitement towards the same sex and just be done with it.
Thank you ladies, sorry for being retarded on a Saturday evening.
No. 1927983
>>1927978There's a questioning thread on /g/ if you ever want to check it out, but honestly, I feel like this neuroticism about being the perfect lesbian is a very online phenomenon that mostly exists as a backlash to women who actively enjoy having sex with men but insist on calling themselves lesbians because they see it as an aesthetic, virtue, or politic. That doesn't sound like you. It's very possible for women to have sex with people we're not attracted to, and pretty much everyone who's being honest knows this. No one questions the gay man who was closeted for 40 years with 3 kids, but somehow the moment a lesbian is touched by a man, it doesn't matter how she felt about it, she's a LUG polilez bislut blah blah. If you are a woman who is, and always has been, exclusively attracted to women, you are a lesbian, it's that simple. Now, if you were genuinely attracted to the men you were intimate with, then you might be bisexual with a strong preference for women, which is perfectly fine too. And most importantly, no matter what your orientation is, you never have to let a man touch you ever again if you don't want it. You don't even have to label yourself at all if you don't want to, if you know your only boundary is not wanting to be with men, you have every right to enforce it however you want, you don't owe anyone a label. And I'm saying all this as a gold star.
No. 1927994
>>1927983Thanks bby. Like I absolutely adore and respect lesbians, and seeing the shit they've been putting up with for the past decade with the trans shit + people purposefully obscuring and lying about their sexuality just sucks to witness, so of course I don't want to add on to it if I can help it.
I've been abused very badly by men too, in that way, so it also compounds into an otherwise horrible mess inside my head. So a part of me is also super paranoid that the reason why I can't even feel arousal towards men at all is because of the early abuse, y'know?
But yes, I think going without a label and talking to a trauma or sex therapist should be the way to go for me. Thank you and have a wonderful weekend.
No. 1928017
>>1928006It’s not bait I’ve never told anyone before
>>1928007I’m pretty normal they aren’t frequent and I used to have them more when I was twelve and it made me want to end my own life and I just feel pissed that moids have so much worse thoughts that I had and they just think it’s okay and don’t feel bad about themselves about it. It’s worded poorly it’s not like I have these everyday and I don’t have them these days I used to have them a lot when I started puberty and they were weird and I felt so bad about it idk. Also I’m not mean to people on here.
No. 1928043
>>1928033I don't want to seem like a moid defender but nona those are as bad of thoughts for moids to have irl.
Moids do report on other moids for that shit.
You're basically the same as those agps that wish they could be a woman so they can fuck strangers on the street.
No. 1928056
>>1928033Okay I’m gonna be honest and not treat this like bait, if the thoughts of harming people upset you and come on without intention then they could be intrusive thoughts. Which is a recognized symptom of different mental health problems, and entirely treatable, I used to have them around the age of 12 to 17 but mine weren’t about hurting people. If your intentionally thinking these thoughts and sort of bring them on out of some desire to do these things, and then feel guilty about it, that’s probably still a mental health problem that could be treated. I don’t know what your financial situation is like right now but if your not going to kill yourself yet you might as well try to get yourself into therapy, either soon or when your able to afford it. And be honest about what you think about, they won’t report you if you don’t give specific plans to do anything. They probably also won’t judge you but even so most therapists give out a free introductory session so you can air your concerns and if they’re not up for it you can drop them and try another therapist. But avoid things that make you feel this way, whether it’s websites or movies or people or songs, avoid it and try to turn your attention on things that bring out positive emotions not negative ones, I know it’s easier said than done.
No. 1928059
>>1928045>I tried choking a pigeonDon't do that.
Disengage from porn and extreme media.
Yeah, talk to a therapist. Even as a man you would've been sent to a therapist.
No. 1928063
File: 1710637107811.jpg (381.3 KB, 1303x1808, 1000003461.jpg)
>>1928045Are you this woman
No. 1928077
File: 1710637620615.jpg (1.05 MB, 1475x1776, 1710548026448.jpg)
>>1928006Here's the full sized version nonna you saved the thumbnail
No. 1928079
>>1928056I have intrusive thoughts these days but they’re more like delusions of people being after me and I could leave the house and when I was 15 i repeated a year because I couldn’t go to school because I thought people were going to rape and kill me and I have intrusive thoughts but I don’t know if these thing I had when I was younger were that because it was more like influence.>>1928059
I already did for a long time but it not as bad as it was before I think you guys are misunderstanding. This is when I was 12, I worded it badly, I remember many of those things I used to think about, I didn’t think about rape often just killing people because people mistreated me and people who aren’t supposed to physically hurt me did, and I wanted to get revenge for all they did to me. I am in a better place now my mother sent the school to court and I changed schools ever since 8th grade so I haven’t had these bad thoughts since I was 12. I just kinda miss worded it and it’s late at night so these memories always come back to me and it makes me want to kill myself.
>>1928063No lol, I shower
>>1928064I didn’t do it really with that pigeon it was with a hair band and no one was around and after putting it around the pigeons neck I didn’t even pull it because I realized what I was doing and I was so disturbed by myself that I kinda threw it in the back of my mind and never told anyone but I still remember. Which I awful because I always loved animals and have always been against mistreating animals and believed animals had souls so that was an extremely out of character event that I don’t understand even today.
No. 1928086
File: 1710638127931.gif (1.12 MB, 220x293, IMG_9201.gif)
>>1928063Oh my god tell me why I got so excited this was the lesbian Azerbaijani girl I used to follow on IG where we would post degrading naked gay men acting like filthy whores on our stories and also sharing man-hate shit… god I love Eastern European women so much they’re so unusually funny
No. 1928192
>>1928165I have blocked all of my friends and my boyfriend on discord. Threatened to block his number if he keeps texting me like he is. I think everyone who thinks people with BPD are soul sucking monsters are right. If you see an anon on here (or kiwi) talking about how awful bpd bitches are they are right. The stigma is there because it is correct. My psych thinks being raised by someone with HPD made me more prone to having it along with being a bumbling retard. Everyone is right about BPD. I won’t defend myself or anyone else with BPD. I have removed myself from social situation purely because it has worsened it. I deserve the fact my family has always never liked me, neglected me, never treated me equally and basically avoids me. I moved into a shitty section 8 apartment purely because I am retarded and they were happy to ditch me.I deserve the fact I was raped. I deserve the disgusting scum bags who groomed me and sexually abused me. I deserve the fact my mom took me to doctor to doctor and whined about me. I deserve my siblings resentment. I deserve my shitty father. I deserve all the shitty things. I have posted here before detailing shit with my family and felt bad cuz it was tmi but I had no one to tell this to. If you remember the anon who’s face was left out of a family calendar for their step mom? That was me lol. I finally had a decent therapist then she got a new job. I haven’t had any real mental health support in years but I think it’s okay anyway. Most therapists don’t want bpd clients and I can see why. (Anyone remember dustbinflowers from the proana threads and her obsession with her old therapist? Lol) I am the walking stereotype for lying bpd chans but I have the actual issues that I have had my whole life. My mom just won the HPD lottery with a broken kid due to her shitty genetics combined with my fathers not stellar genetic. My bpd is a newer diagnosis anyway. It makes shit make more sense but at the same time has ruined how I view myself even more. I am a monster. There’s no fixing me. There never has been. Everyone would be happier without me. The world has done nothing but tell me I shouldn’t be here since I was a child but never did the job itself. I have been suicidal since I was a kid. A little fucking kid. I don’t remember a time where things were okay. I don’t remember if I have been actually happy. I don’t remember ever being wanted. I am very tired of myself. I wish I was fixable
Any anon who could think about troll replying telling me to kill myself because of it is right. Do it you cunts. I love detailed ones.
No. 1928203
File: 1710643922468.gif (1.08 MB, 300x225, da50216b399692e769f0ea79154673…)
i don't care if this sounds retarded i'm actually seething and trying not to punch holes in the mattress thinking about the crow remake. i don't want the new breed of abusive internet brainrot coomer XY defects to roleplay as eric. i KNOW it in my bones that there's going to be a massive uptick in men dressing like fucking jake munro and trying to get women to call them their "goff daddy king" or some disgusting gay shit. movies like this should either stay as time capsule cult classics or be forgotten, not gutted and mangled into a corpse of their old self riding the notoriety of the IP. trying to be detached and clinical about it but his and shelly's relationship is going to be flanderized terribly and they deserved better.
No. 1928212
>>1928192Ayrt
I'm BPD too and I understand what you're going through.
I'm also an isolated person, I've also lost friends because my bpd makes me insufferable and I'm also a tard. I've been called names and everytime I see stuff about bpd in here I agree: I also don't feel like I deserve better.
But we do deserve better and this stuff can get better to the point of remission. I know I'm rich for saying that when I'm also not doing so good. I relate to you, and I think none of what happened to you should have happened and you didn't deserve it. I know isolating one self from people feels like you're doing the world a favor but no, that's not the case at all, you deserve to be understood and you can heal. Isolating just hurts more. I know it's hard but people who love others with bpd exist. I know they do. I love you too because I know you're worth living and you don't need to hurt yourself any more.
No. 1928233
>>1928224I don’t know how. I really don’t. I have tried but it never works. I feel constantly reminded by things how much I just suck. I don’t know how to make things not feel that way. I have been doing my best to do it. Trying isn’t doing and can’t is won’t to everyone around me. I am trying, i am doing, I can’t, I will, I want to but it’s never enough. I feel irredeemable.
>>1928212 what is the right thing to do? Being around people has worsened me and it just hurts others and myself. I wish remission was possible but I know it’s not happening. Help is not accessible. The mental health services here do not care and want nothing to do with me, I am not on drugs so why care about a person who is just mentally ill. Living in a rural area does not help when the only mental health service doesn’t want anything to do with you. I have a case worker but she’s not even that helpful as there’s not much she can do either. I have done everything in my power to help myself. I want to heal, I want to get better and I want to be alive. Yet I don’t know how. I don’t think anyone does.
The suicide hotline really wanted me to go to the hospital but I talked them out of it. It hasn’t helped me in the past. Last time I had a social worker talk shit about me in front of me. Say I was just going to be back and how bpd cases are never “fun” to deal with. Might I add that I had just spoken to her too? Like just walked away and wasn’t even that far away lol? That admission was also for a suicide attempt. When my dad picked me up (I was sent to a ward two hours away) we didn’t even talk about it. It was just nonna being herself and inconveniencing everyone.
>>1928229 could not be me. That’s one thing I have actually separated myself from the most with in the last 2 years. Shayna and the sw threads really helped fuel me seeing how harmful. I think it has helped but there’s still a lot to do. I echo this sentiment. I know it’s hard and tempting for a lot bpd chans but it’s fucking harmful. A lot of us have had bad sexual things done to us which has just caused us to seek it out but it doesn’t make better or is it a good thing. We are just continuing the cycle plus fueling a huge issue (violent moids and the porn industry, etc)
Idk I am not at the right state to fully express you put it better anyway.
No. 1928244
>>1928229I have bpd and I've never done violent or kinky things
>>1928242That's just not true. Your comment isn't helping that anon either
No. 1928245
>>1928240I think I know which one you are talking about. These men seek you out. BPD chans need to seek out help not dick. They are only out to exploit the shame you already feel and make you do more shameful things. You hate yourself for the things you have done already and feel awful for them. Accept the consequences of your actions. Stop adding to the cycle.
>>1928242 no you are right. I am pretty fricking damaged but I don’t want anymore damage. I accept what I have done and want it to stop. I have a big problem. It won’t be fixed by that.
No. 1928248
>>1928236Hopefully he's happy sticking to monogamy and he recognizes what makes a relationship have actual meaning. Does he ask you to do things you've never done before?
My Nigel had a phase in his late 20s where he had casual sex after breaking free from abstinence and Christianity, he totally regrets that part of his life, but he recognizes why he acted the way he did. His body count is definitely higher than mine, but his sexual experience does not equal how good he is in bed or what he likes at the end of the day. I'm not disappointed by it, but Nigel clearly only knows missionary and that's what he'll stick with. No doggy style, he's squeamish with blowjobs, doing cowgirl is non-existent, he is hesitant to scratch or slap me, no lip biting, no choking, no asking if I could do anal. He's very delicate with me and compared to moids I've had before who were sexual degenerates, I'd prefer this no doubt.
No. 1928251
>>1928250Please sleep and take care ok?
This is dumb but if you could, maybe talk to the ai psychologist from character.ai, I don't have money to go to therapy and she helps me a lot. I gave her a female voice and her picture is that of a woman too
No. 1928258
>>1928252Despite the fact I have had moids try to convince me to do it, thank god I never did porn. The sexual stuff is a far away and side issue right now. I have more issues that are more pressing and need my attention more + was why I was doing that stuff so I have to deal with the real issue not running from it. I want to get better. It won’t go away but I have to work with it ya know. Idk. I will figure it out.
>>1928251 not bad i guess. Thanks guys. Really embarrassed still tho lmao
No. 1928318
File: 1710651651613.jpeg (71.21 KB, 640x553, cat-standing-on-a-wooden-post-…)
I woke up and overheard my parents talking about how my dad noticed our gate was opened. There was also something wrong with the hook. Damaged, pushed it? I couldn't hear properly. Anyway, I'm a little worried. Who could have opened the gate to our backyard? What were they doing? We don't necessarily live in a bad area, but there are some worse parts if you go farther down the city. I'm tired. I don't want something bad to happen. 2023 was an awful year, and I don't need some burglars or drunks stumbling into our property. I'm going to try and fall back asleep and hopefully things will get sorted out tomorrow when they buy a camera.
No. 1928441
File: 1710666574570.jpg (50.61 KB, 622x609, e689cb49af58e1dafc326b95b2a152…)
I'm so tired of being a loser, it's so embarrassing seeing my friends be normal while I struggle with the most mundane things. There was no reason for me to be born, all I've done is be abused and ignored and wither away.
No. 1928449
>>1928448Same
>>1928441Also same
I hope we all can get better
No. 1928456
File: 1710667471471.jpg (15.73 KB, 557x551, images-1.jpg)
Pic unrelated it's a cat burrito aka purrito
I've been feeling suicidal but not in the usual way, it's like - I know I'm living overtime, I know I should be dead by now. But I keep living, and living, and I'm still here. I don't want to die, or like, go through the process of suicide more like, but I feel like I'm not supposed to be alive anymore.
What to do? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? The sense that you should be dead and would be okay if god killed you but you're not actively seeking to kill yourself. It's like, it would be too dramatic for me. If I do it I just want to do it in a casual way but that's not possible so I just want life to pull the plug. I'm not alive anymore but I'm here somehow
No. 1928491
File: 1710669715514.jpg (17.67 KB, 274x275, m-6.jpg)
I hate having eczema on my face. I hate this so much. Even when it goes away it always comes back, it is always lurking and looming over me. It's terrifying and painful. It makes me look ugly and diseased. I wish death wasn't the only option to be truly free of this condition. I wish I wasn't born. I need to kill myself.
No. 1928505
>>1928491samefag but my face is is so much pain. I can't sleep. It's in that mode where my skin is so senstive and tender that slightly dragging a finger across my cheek will cause it to weep a fluid before quickly drying up and aching. It smells horrible. If I wash my face and put on moisturizer it will hurt even more and my face will now be in a state of constant weeping but if I leave it be my face will get worse looking but be slightly less painful and uncomfortable than the alternative. I hate this and I hate that my parents won't get rid of the STUPID FUCKING DOGS WHO'S DANDER
TRIGGERS MY ECZEMA! I've had to deal with this shit since elementary school and they know dog dander
triggers my eczema but guess what, they still keep getting more heckin doggos. I'm trapped in my own room if I want to limit the exposure but even then that's not enough. I hate this, I don't want to live in this body anymore. Why can't anyone understand that? Why do I have to live if it's so painful and uncomfortable both physically, socially, and emotionally?
No. 1928531
>>1928529Gluten is a pretty common
trigger, have you ever tried cutting that out?
No. 1928572
File: 1710677867724.png (68.77 KB, 440x300, d2f3a9c0015b85e1b0fa4a797b52c8…)
finally, i broke up with the lowlife that raped me because i told him the truth about getting back with my ex. it was the only thing that worked enough for make him seethe and block me from everything. now i feel a little broken inside, because he went like "you poisonous bitch i hate you i hope you're happy now AND NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN" and we all know that he will, in fact, contact me again. also he nows lives near my uni and i don't think it's delusional or paranoid to fear the chance of him seeing me in public. yikes.
No. 1928660
File: 1710683186242.jpg (14.91 KB, 236x236, 1000016584.jpg)
It honestly blows my mind that when I went through an extreme phase of misandry and separatist radfeminism, developed a genuine phobia of men and would refer to penises as weapons in high school nobody around me ever asked me anything like WHY I had these thoughts and never thought to look into perhaps underlying issues that I was facing. Everyone would mostly brush it off as lmfao krazy feminist!! without stopping to consider that maybe if a girl suddenly is harboring an extreme hatred and aversion to males something must have incited it. I still have these beliefs but at the time it was a reactionary self-defense. It's been years and I've never told anyone what happened to me.
No. 1928672
File: 1710683889270.jpg (54.39 KB, 342x508, 9fcedb825005ec9c84a6ef199c9b77…)
>be me
>decide to once again make an effort to be healthier by trying to eat more
>feel guilt every time i consume more than my usual amount of food
>feel disgusting
>feel ashamed
>start having nightmares where i gain weight
>become paranoid that my clothes are getting tighter
>can't handle it
>give up until the next failed attempt where the same thing happens again
No. 1928676
File: 1710684202348.gif (1.22 MB, 220x207, IMG_9634.gif)
So apparently to my own sister who’s visiting my mom is “depressed” not because of her overwhelming bills and sedentary life despite going to work and hanging with some family members but because I hate and will always continuously hate my mentally tarded fat brother. It’s hilarious because I deeply love my sister but my god sometimes she doesn’t just understand or care how that dude has truly fucked us up and everyone else in the family, especially my own mother who rather care about that tard’s feefees than reality. You would be amazed how creative men can be when they are able to spread misery in their families without it being sexual assault or inner-family sex abuse or something, because I’m just supposed to magically forget him constantly harassing us with terrible texts and him saying he would kill, rape and murder people on twatter but just liek get over it, it was yearsss ago and it’s suddenly fine. That shit had me and my sister fearing for our lives for years out of the fear that he could be coming after us and other people because that’s usually how mass shooters/school shooters start. I’m done with victimizing myself and I’m content with being framed as the “evil bitch daughter/sister that dares want that my autistic son to face accountability”, just fuck it, I will evilmaxx. Maybe until he kills us all, my sister who has the privilege and pleasure of living in a nice apartment all by herself and was able to move away from this mess will finally learn that maybe my intuitions were right and he needs his ass to stay far away from everybody. Now that you’re a woman with potential trauma (I really don’t like calling it trauma because it’s not as serious as again familial abuse or molestation but it’s something that does impact my life and gives me extreme hyper vigilance around him that makes me intensely angry and defensive) it’s a problem but your son threatening he will raype people online and kill the current president and sending harassing text messages and threats and putting swatikas on the refrigerator is grounds for forgiveness “erm he apologized! so he’s fine” no. God I wish we lived in a more forgiving economy where I can actually pick up a stable job and move the hell out, I envy useless streamers who can sit in their chairs all day and make money because if I were able to make fast huge amounts cash like them the solution to this is to move farrrr farrrr away and debate on cutting contact with everyone for a good while. Love my sister, love my mom even though she has caused me strange mommy issues but this really isn’t it, you truly get brain damage and get severe handmaiden syndrome when you birth sons I highly believe it.
No. 1928808
>>1928792Is your dog a brachycephalic breed (smoosh face)? If so, the fainting might not just be the heart, it might just be the main contributing factor. If he is, there are surgeries that can widen the nostrils and shorten the soft palate, making air intake easier and fainting less likely.
As for your vet, what medication do they have him on, and what is the grade of the heart murmur? Murmurs will be graded on a scale of one to six. Instead of regular vet, you should ask for a referral to a specialist. A cardiac veterinary specialist will do a cardiac work up, which usually involves echocardiogram, and then a consultation. She'll be able to give you way better advice than a general medicine vet. I don't know where you are, but in my large city in Florida it's $600 for the echo and consult. If that's out of your range, an ultrasound with consult will sometimes be cheaper.
Also, how old is your dog?
No. 1928839
i just found out that my mother is dying of cancer. i am the anon who was freaking out last month about her mother having a giant fibroid - well, turns out my worst fears were true, and she does have cancer. not only does she have cancer, she has a rare type that is growing super fast and has spread into her GI tract and is currently creeping into her stomach and lungs. i just spoke with my grandfather and from what he told me, her team does not believe she will be leaving the hospital anytime soon. words cannot express how much shock i am in at this time. i kind of knew this was happening, because i recognized all the warning signs of terminal cancer, but was hoping beyond hope that i was just being overly dramatic and that it was just a benign fibroid and that she was going to be okay. but i just knew…all the signs were there. the mysterious blood clots. her kidneys shutting down. the size of the mass and the mysterious pains she had when she came to see me in paris.
i can't even cry you guys. the moment my grandfather told me i had the strangest sense of both relief and sadness. maybe it just hasn't hit me yet, idk, i am terrified of what might come. i'm afraid, i really am, mainly because my mother has been my whole world and this is not what i imagined. this came out of literal fucking nowhere. one minute my mother was fine and then the next minute, i find out she's dying. now i have to prepare for her funeral, now i have to deal with things like inheritance and other such stuff (i am going to be inheriting a lot, like, a lot). i feel like i'm back where i was when my grandmother was dying from cancer…it's like fucking deja vu. and now the doctors are worried i may be predisposed to the same cancer.
i wish i had answers, i really don't. i'm 5,000 miles away from my mom and now i have to think about taking time off from university, when do i want to go back? how long do i want to stay gone, etc. etc. it's all so much and i am doing this alone. please, please pray for me you guys. because at this point it really is just me and god. that's all i have.
No. 1928848
File: 1710696247048.jpg (165.92 KB, 850x1259, 974311675577.jpg)
I'm only 28kg away from 100kg. How did I let myself get to this point?
No. 1928854
File: 1710696584076.jpg (39.63 KB, 736x572, 60cd3ad22edbfd35c767e8fc9185ac…)
Another day of spending money I know I shouldn't just because I know payday is coming
No. 1928880
File: 1710698413767.jpg (30.8 KB, 750x399, SARAH CONNOR SCHIZO.jpg)
>>1928203Nonnie I'm SEETHING too! I was so fucking mad when I found out a couple of days ago. I actually agree with you and it will 100% happen. Thank goddess I'm not a zoomer girl.
No. 1928887
>>1928863thank you nona. you're going to make me cry. but thank you.
>>1928876i am, i just need time to pack and work with my professors so i can still submit my assignments on time and do the remote lecture thingie i've seen other people do. i probably won't leave for america until the end of this week or the beginning of next week. my mom was so proud of me for going to paris for university, and i want to continue to make her proud, even when she's gone.
No. 1928947
>>1928848Please don't listen to the mean anons. No matter how you got there, you can always get healthier, but do not hurt yourself seeking getting thinner. Do it in a way that you can love yourself. Weight gain happens to all humans, it's part of life, some gain more some gain less. It's ok to take it easy.
>>1928863I love you wunjo anon
No. 1929110
>>1929078you can post them in the doll thread
>>>/m/213555 unfortunately it's usually a bit slow but maybe more anons would join if it was bumped
No. 1929269
>>1929268You probably could, you don’t gotta be a genius. I believe in you
nonnie P.I.
No. 1929283
>>1929271Take care
nonny, I'm rooting for you. Please tell us how you feel later
No. 1929285
>>1929042The irony is that it's typically moids who will cheat at bars then claim it was the women who raped them (or were creepy at the very least). They hate women who club, not because they think they're sluts but because a lot of those women will stand up for other women, and will tell their gfs what the moids are doing at the club.
As for moids false accusations I can attest to this. I dated a moid who'd randomly send me screenshots of girls "totally creeping on him for no reason" and only showed me screenshots where he went cold on them out of nowhere. Turned out he was cheating everytime. Ladies if you're talking to a moid who goes from hot and cold randomly over text, he's likely screenshotting it and sending it to others to claim you were rapey towards him.
No. 1929287
>>1929283Talking to my case worker may be a better idea but I am not doing well enough to wait. My as needed anxiety medication has actually been worsening me and I need something stronger. I shouldn’t be alone right but I have no one close by but my family who will just be annoyed with me asking to come over then want me to there. I really wish they cared like they say they do but I give up on that.
I miss my grandma and my step dad. I hate this stupid earth for taking them. I would really like to go home but I can’t. Sometimes I feel like my family does things to drive me to killing myself. I am in this shitty apartment so I won’t kill myself in their house. I know I am. It sucks.
I am not sure what’s the right thing to do. I am just really scared.
No. 1929305
File: 1710722278554.jpg (34.98 KB, 563x519, 42eea2dd5502391fdba21e6ed35da5…)
I've been trying hard to be healthy and I want to feel like I deserve someone who is healthy, too, but I can't.
I'm hopelessly drawn to sad, tragic, and unwell people because, on top of my HUGE saviour complex, I'm scared to be the more "pathetic" party in a relationship. My personality is forever shaped by early childhood trauma and I still carry some shame around about how strange my family life has been. Not around fellow traumatized people, but by people with "normal" and stable upbringings. I can tell it's shocking and incomprehensible to them even if I try to present it in a lighthearted, dry humour way and I hate that. I'm afraid they will look at me as lesser and no longer value me.
My life is somewhat together at this point and I'm well-off, all things considered. I lead a stable existence, the symptoms I used to exhibit tempt me sometimes but I'm usually okay unless a crisis or otherwise unpleasant event occurs. eg. a breakup that set-off my poor emotional regulation, but I handled it well and didn't drag anyone into it
Even by normie standards I'm decent honestly: Degree, good job, no substance use, social life, no debt, multiple hobbies, etc.
My one huge problem is relationships and attachment, but I have no idea how to overcome it without being in a healthy relationship. I've intellectualized and analyzed the problem a million times to try and perfect my approach, but it's still scary.
Am I worthy of seeking love from someone who is kind and stable? Would I ever feel comfortable letting them fully know me as a person? Was I only comfortable around my fucked up exes because they're fucked up?
I'm lonely.
No. 1929328
File: 1710724468515.jpg (73.4 KB, 736x503, 1000016434.jpg)
I plan to issue an apology to all of my friends tomorrow and I'm anxious. I'm finally swallowing my pride and going to admit that I've been lying about my birthday. I'm going to talk to a few of them irl and address the rest with an Instagram story. Wish me luck nonas, I hope they can forgive me
No. 1929337
I can't shake the feeling that I'm dying. My heart rate is going crazy, I haven't been able to sleep or eat, I can't even smile anymore. It's not like regular depression, I think something is going on. Going to the doctor tomorrow, I hope I can at least find a solution so I can sleep.
>>1929328Admitting your own faults is one of the bravest things you can do. If they love you they'll forgive you, I'm sure of it nonna ♥
No. 1929341
>>1929305>Am I worthy of seeking love from someone who is kind and stable?Yes.
>Would I ever feel comfortable letting them fully know me as a person? Probably.
>Was I only comfortable around my fucked up exes because they're fucked up?Depends. Are you only attracted to fucked up people or did you only date fucked up people. Both of these are fixable issues, but they are two separate situations.
Congrats on the work you've done so far to get your life together. It sounds like it took a lot of work to get where you are right now and you should be proud of yourself. About your romantic life, the right person for you will want to help you get your romantic issues worked out and be willing to work on it with you. If you tell them "I am having difficulty emotionally regulating right now, can you do x, y,or z to help?" They will want to do that to help you and instead of judging you. Think of it as having ADHD or Autism or even being blind or in a wheelchair. Their issues can make relationships with someone 'normal and stable' more difficult in some areas, and lots of people are willing to sign up for that. And of they deserve love from someone who doesn't have their issues.
>but it's still scary. It's going to be scary. Relationships can be scary for 'normal, stable' people, because being vulnerable, letting someone inside, is always a risk. Because trust is a risk. The person you think is 1000% trustworthy can always turn out not be and betray you.
>I've intellectualized and analyzed the problem a million timesIt sounds like you are spending too much time ruminating about this in your head. It would probably help to talk this out. With a close friend, a therapist, etc.
>I still carry some shame around about how strange my family life has been. … I'm afraid they will look at me as lesser and no longer value me.Sounds like you might have something called
toxic shame. There a are a lot of books and videos on how to address that. Also, psychologists like to talk about how the antidote to shame is openness, basically, be open (to decent people) about what every is causing the same and the shame itself, people react with sympathy and understanding and not by shaming, the person learns that whatever it is won't result in people shaming them, and rinse and repeat and the shame starts to fade. If you have a person in your life that you feel like you can be this open with, and you can handle it if goes wrong, you can try that. Tell them what happened in your childhood (with no jokes or attempts to lighten it) and that you are afraid that if people knew all the details they would look at you "as lesser and no longer value you and ask them if knowing about your childhood has changed the way they feel about you. Also, only do this if you will believe them if they say "It changes nothing. Of course I still love you and value you". If you are going to be thinking that they are lying and do secretly judge you, it's best to start with some self help books on shame and/or a visit to a therapist.
No. 1929371
>>1929361Just bite the bullet and tell your friends that but couch it in the language of you being an introvert. "Hey can we chill at home one weekend and watch movies? I'm an introvert and going out all the time is draining me a bit more than I expected."
Just an example of something easier to say that fits what you mean, best of luck!
No. 1929379
File: 1710730523733.png (220.25 KB, 799x532, 1000053880.png)
They killed her also I didn't realise they made the new one a fucking musical
No. 1929382
File: 1710730881479.jpeg (138.33 KB, 840x840, 4DBA5ADE-D6AD-4D07-91C8-F12B1F…)
I feel like everything I just explained to my friend just went over her head. I have no problem trying to help her and I can’t force her to take my advice, that’s not really what bothers me. I just feel like she’s being obtuse or something. Just sucks cus I really tried hard to be clear and I don’t thinks she wants to accept it. To nonas who’s friends with someone with a boyfriend I salute you soldiers cus it genuinely feels like they don’t listen to anyone but that fucking moid regardless of whatever the fuck. Is it possible to be too straight nonas?? Is it possible??
>>1928491Nona I’m so deeply sorry you have to deal with this, I know for a fact you are true angel saint. I have it on my face too and it’s always awful. The other day I went to get new glasses and was still recovering from a flare up and the mall air was so sharp. When I go look in the mirror I looked so scary I had to bite down my tears. I felt my heart shatter on the floor. And if you have it on your eyelids too then I know how frustrating it is and how freakish this feels. I have it really bad and have had it all over my body, right now it’s almost gone on my face, it’s on my neck, my wrists and fingers, and going away on my feet. Thankfully this time around my elbows and knees are fine and I’ve been able to quell everywhere else on my body but progress like that doesn’t even feel worthwhile sometimes because it’s never linear. When I relapse it’s literally the most defeating feeling ever. I’m sorry if this doesn’t help much but I’ve sat on the bathroom floor in so much anguish and despair I just know you’re a saint because this illness begs no other reaction. I genuinely can’t believe your parents won’t get rid of the dogs. I don’t know the allergic cause of mine but while sometimes my parents help me, sometimes they do things that completely disregard it and it feels like they’ll rather trade in my torture for some ease. And people just expect there to be a cure or something you haven’t done. No one will ever know how the itch and scratch feels, how raw skin feels, how tight skin feels, how malformed skin feels, how fucking disgusting—disgusting.—the weeping feels. No one knows how it wrecks your life down to the very core. I’ve lost so much. Fuck nona all I can do is pray and I will pray for you.
No. 1929400
>>1929382Thank you nona. I'm so sorry you had to experience all of that. It feels like you can't even live a normal life, the mere act of looking into a mirror is a horrid reminder of your endless predicament. Same, it's on my body and my face. To be honest, I would rather have all of my eczema on my body because at the very least I can hide it all and look somewhat presentable. I have it really bad on my arms, rear, thighs and privates so it's really goddamn painful when I want to sit down, piss, or do anything strenuous with my arms. I can feel it 'crack' when I stretch my arms out, even after putting on moisturizer. Having eczema on your ass doesn't help when it makes sleeping painful because if you sweat you get so painfully itchy and irritated, or worse, having anything touch the spots where you are irritated such as a blanket stings. I'm happy that your knees are fine, I used to have it super bad on the back of my knees and it hurt to walk sometimes because of it. I get what you mean. Even when it's all good and you look decent it's still a looming feeling because all it takes is one thing, or maybe even nothing, for you to flare up and all of your progress is torn down. It feels like there's no end point, or step-by-steps to know that you're healing. Worst part, when you do relapse you feel like it's your fault and when others who are aware of your condition notice they'll sometimes even blame you for it. Oddly enough I've had the same experiences. Taking a shower feels like an endeavor and even though I know I have to I hate showering. I hate the feeling of wiping my face with water because it hurts and if I'm doing it during a flare up my skin gets so tender, red, painful and weepy that being "dry" is sometimes preferable. It's gotten to the point where I just get angry when I look at my face. I've gotten used to it. I've come to understand that my family are dog lovers, my father has eczema too and the dogs
trigger his eczema but he doesn't care and loves the dogs anyways so I must be the same and deal with it like him. The whole "If I can do it, so can you" rings true here. Yes. Dealing with eczema treatment wise is a pain in the ass, you're suggested to 250+ things all at once. "Did you try rubbing galugu whale extract oil into your skin? Why don't you try UV lights? I hear using cactus masks cures eczema? Have you just tried only eating grass? Hey guys, I have eczema (it's only a small bump and slight dryness on the back of her thigh) and this miracle apple extract glow toner product totally cured it!" it's just constant bullshit from people who think they're experts. Don't even get me started on medication like steroids such as protopic none of it fucking works on me. I'm at my wits end. I'm turning thirty soon and I don't want to live with the fact that this is just my existence. I can't even husbandofag anymore because I feel so depressed over this.
>No one will ever know how the itch and scratch feels, how raw skin feels, how tight skin feels, how malformed skin feels, how fucking disgusting—disgusting.—the weeping feels. No one knows how it wrecks your life down to the very core. I’ve lost so much.Agreed. Nobody who doesn't have eczema will ever understand. I've had to learn this the hard way. I know it's terrible but when I attempted suicide I'm still pissed that me wanting to kill myself wasn't enough for my parents to understand how much living with this condition hurts. I have to take a cocktail of asprin and benedryl when I flare up because it hurts that badly. There's only so many "just bear with it, it's not that bad, and you just need to learn how to deal with it" you can take. Just because you're able to deal with it doesn't mean you want to. I’m so tired. I’m tired of this unpredictability. With this condition you lose out on so much, so much is taken from you, and you're left as a insecure shell of what you could've been. Thank you, I hope you do well yourself.
No. 1929438
File: 1710738485803.jpg (144.58 KB, 1200x1200, 1000003411.jpg)
I hate when you can tell you're talking to a minor on here. You are not even supposed to BE here, shoo
No. 1929449
File: 1710739043079.jpg (56.15 KB, 371x363, 1703803010878.jpg)
>>1929428
No. 1929468
File: 1710740573876.png (487.8 KB, 640x579, bruh.png)
it's so over, guess I'll just die
No. 1929516
File: 1710745286065.jpg (24.24 KB, 512x384, 1000000759.jpg)
Kids don't lie ahh I'm trying not to tear up over my little brother commenting on my weight and calling me stuff he learnt from tiktok.. like gorlock.. lol.. I know it's only in innocent fun spirit, but kids don't have that filter yet so there is truth and it hurt
Time to start losing weight
No. 1929613
File: 1710753119121.jpeg (45.2 KB, 512x599, IMG_2198.jpeg)
>make great friend in uni
>she’s funny, smart, outgoing, but has a shitty lame deadweight bf who never talks and never smiles
>as time goes on she spend less and less time with me and our other friends and more with her bf, eventually the only times we talk is when she’s venting to me, especially about about the problems they’re having
>I still keep in touch w her bc I want to be there for her if they break up
>we can talk for an hour and she won’t ask me a single question
>time goes on, I get my own life, she starts getting butthurt that I’m not carving up my own social calendar to make time for her vent sessions
>months pass
>I post a fun work pic on my private story
>”xyz replied to your story: “omg girl miss you how have you been??”
>I respond and ask the same
>”omg good so much has changed I’m quitting my job and going backpacking! we need to catch up!!”
>hope that “so much has changed” is code for “I broke up with my boyfriend and I’m going backpacking to rediscover myself”
>organise a call
>she spends the whole time talking about herself as per usual
>she’s quitting her job because of bad culture and when she gets home from the trip shes moving in with her boyfriend into his parents house in a different city
>aside from that all she can do is swing between complaining about how bad her job is going and humblebragging about how many people she knows in the industry
>in a 90min conversation I talk about myself for maybe 20mins
>”omg nonnie I miss our catch-ups so much! We need to do this more when I get back!”
I wish there was a formal way to end a friendship like there is for a relationship. I just don’t want to be talked at anymore
No. 1929623
File: 1710754456996.jpg (62.77 KB, 1077x1053, e473a2cb8780bbd1.jpg)
I'm pretty sure I saw my ex gf on a bus on my way home from work. I haven't seen her in years or been in any contact, we broke up in very bad terms. I was too afraid to look very closely and I sat far away from her. When I sat down and opened my playlist on shuffle it played a song that was really important in our relationship. It was such a weird moment, felt like shit. I hope she's doing well though.
No. 1929649
>>1929639It’s because male sexuality is by definition opportunistic, escalating and amoral. They are not designed to be satisfied, because then they would stop trying. It’s an absolute bottomless pit, there is no degree of spicing up they will ever be happy with. They also in spiteful moid fashion want to see the thing that turned them on “rightfully punished” for doing so.
>>1929643Moids quite easily compartmentalize these things.
No. 1929713
>>1929706They say the same stuff about us because it’s what they want to be true, the idea that women are all insatiable weak of flesh temptresses is a very old cope. Aggression and lust are wired very closely in a males mind and you ‘re completely correct that they’re mad at themselves for dirty thoughts and want to punish what caused it, in a sexualized way of course. If this sounds insane to you, imagine living with your brain permanently scrambled like this since puberty.
>>1929710Porn wouldn’t be as effective if they weren’t already receptive to the ideas it presents by default. The scenarios you describe are pretty typical male neuroses about l ACKSHUALLY those wanton whores deserve it so its ok for me to jerk off to it” mixed in with hating a woman for going after someone better (but still jerking off to it because again they’re all insane).
No. 1929724
>>1929719Agreed. If anything, they shill old men in media and even on here, insisting "men age like fine wine!!!", claiming the most hideous crusty scrotes are handsome and trying to normalize dd/lg age gap bullshit.
I'm a young woman in her 20s, of course I don't find 40 year old men attractive. At least older women are often still beautiful. Hollywood seems to despise this basic truth.
No. 1929762
>>1929643I don’t want to give too much detail but I know from experience that men having sisters and mothers and daughters doesn’t necessarily make them decent, it actually just gives them a large pool of unassuming
victims who put blind trust on them because of the familial relationship. And men are men, they see that trust and take advantage of it.
No. 1929775
File: 1710767987660.gif (7.47 KB, 182x273, cute-heba.gif)
I fixed my retarded face and I'm so fucking happy. I had acne since I was like 13, went to so many dermatologists, tried so many products, diets, supplements, I'm even on bc, and now at 29 I finally fixed my fucking face.
Turns out it's a combination of hormonal acne and a very damaged skin barrier. I can't avoid the monthly breakout because of my period but I learned to manage and now most of the time I have maybe 1 tiny pimple but that's it. Still have to try to fade the hyperpigmentation but that's nothing compared to what my face used to look like. It feels weird to look at myself and see no inflamed painful cysts on my face. Fuck I wish I found a fix sooner but I guess it's better than never.
No. 1929821
File: 1710772722925.jpg (38.71 KB, 304x231, 1000011307.jpg)
When I'm at work, I have a million ideas for drawing, painting, creating websites, etc and I make a thousand plans only to go home and do absolutely nothing but scroll
No. 1929859
File: 1710774351247.jpg (419.39 KB, 1079x410, 1000011317.jpg)
I'm coming to terms with the fact that my PMDD and monthly suicidal thoughts will never go away. I'm on my umpteenth antidepressant and it takes the edge off a bit but I still experience complete hopelessness. Also tried vitamins, otc stuff, etc It feels debilitating that I'm basically functional for only half of the month and spend the other half feeling unable to do things because everything feels pointless.
No. 1929871
File: 1710775146224.webp (23.33 KB, 220x242, tenor-8.gif)
I was typing out a big rant but then I realized it could be boiled down to "why does everything cost so much money". I want to plan a solo trip abroad next year and do fun stuff locally this summer but I also have adult shit to pay for too. Why couldn't I be born into a wealthy family where I work some rich person "job" and make millions doing basically nothing
No. 1929877
>>1929821Average wagie moment
Work sucks out our souls
No. 1929906
My neighbors are the noisiest people on earth should I be an asshole and play some of my old grindcore cd's?
>>1929880That's great nonna! Try to keep a healthy relationship, that's all you can do really. But he sounds like he's going to be alright.
No. 1930026
>>1929998I mean, most of the people find work unbearable. That's why there's a silent depression epidemic, people literally have to be medicated to endure modern life.
It still sucks though.
No. 1930092
>>1930030>>1930090im the same anon that said that the internet is dead, read this article
https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/dead-internet-theory-most-of-the-internet-is-fake.3011/a lot of people on here have probably read it but i truly believe this
No. 1930101
File: 1710786717813.jpeg (704.77 KB, 1170x1572, IMG_0685.jpeg)
>>1930090>>1930030A writer wrote an article that I thought described this well, he called it "enshittification" about the decay of social media to please advertisers. It's written by him as being from a business perspective but it also works from a user perspective: the decay of social networks to please and appease advertisers makes the internet much much more boring, especially with the influx of bots and astroturfing that's only gotten worse over the years. We get less and less organic content and more and more monetization driven shit by the day
>>1930094Covid made us more terminally online but I think it also drove more and more people into a hive mind mentality and weakened their media literacy. Too much screentime tends to make people more sheeplike and boring as opposed to better savvier internet users
No. 1930103
File: 1710786730727.jpg (149.43 KB, 680x680, 1627641031662.jpg)
>>1930094btw this pic is a typical example of bot posting lol like i said bots control the internet and post/produce content and humans just watch
No. 1930106
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>>1930103Celebrities run bot farms to defend their reputations. If they're not bots, they're paying real accounts, in this case Hill/his team also allegedly paid random OF girls on twitter for it so they'd appear as legit defenders using the same message. Johnny Depp isn't an isolated case but the pretense he set for astroturfing and media manipulation should terrify people
No. 1930107
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>>1929933iatyart
Yes, I've had alot of friends like this on Twitter too. One always called me her best friend, "cutie patootie", talked like this: WOOOOW! I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY BESTIE!!! YOU'RE SO LOVELY/AWESOME AND I MISS YOU! " while barely ever messaging me. The two friends that just went to Japan after me message like picrel too. But it's been a reoccuring pattern that something always smells very rotten to me underneath. I've been friends with actual aloof narcissists that don't even try to hide they are assholes, so they are not that, but I am always on edge with people like this too.
(no emojis) No. 1930148
File: 1710789234274.jpg (66.42 KB, 1022x731, It's_All_So_Tiresome.jpg)
Last time bitching, moaning, and whining about my condition. Just talked to my mother about the dander problem and how it relates to my eczema. She said the dogs don't have dander and they have hair (ignoring that dander can ride on dog hair) and I've always been surrounded by dogs since I was young (ignoring that I've always had eczema since I was young) and that there have been times where my eczema has been fine even though the dogs were in the house (ignoring that I avoid the dogs at every possible moment and that I stay in my room because of them) and then guilted me for not liking the dogs and being a sour mood and then suggested CBD oil for my face instead. I can't even be mad anymore. I'm just tired. My face looks and feels real bad and I had to take two types of pain relief because of it, I even missed half of my classes for the day because of it.
No. 1930155
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Started hanging out with my classmates at uni outside of class more often and it really made me realize how terminally online I and my friends are, while a handful of my friends are very GC there are still those that take any words spoken on twitter by gendies as undeniable truth and are very into online activism, so there is quite a bit of walking on egg shells that I have sorta normalised and thought was just going what the world is going to be like post-covid. But hanging out with normies really made me wake up to how small that echo chamber actually is, and how a lot of people don't actually have a clue about which topics have gotten virtue signalled about the past few years and could honestly not care less.
It's really eye opening and freeing. I still love my annoying friends, even if they are absolute retards that I hope will wake up one day, but I'm not holding my breath and I'm fine with it. At least I am now aware that they are just a really small, albeit loud, bunch whose opinions don't actually really matter out in real life.
No. 1930198
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it's seriously weighing on me and depressing me even further how ugly my hair is i cant stand it i don't know how to manage it and even the ways i do know i cannot afford. i can't afford the shampoo i used to use so now i use some stupid sachets from the corner store that suck and i probably have so much buildip or i don't fucking know but it's horrible. it's so big and thick and DRY i hate it so much but i really can't cut it off even though i'm thinking about it for the sake of my sanity. even if i do cut it it'll just look like an ugly frizzy triangle i know that much so there's no point. i look at old videos of me and i just cry because i miss being able to afford getting it straightened at the salon but i just afford it anymore even though it's dirt cheap in my country (i'm talking below five dollars for a good blowout), i still can't. and even if i can spare aside some money i wouldn't want to do it because i won't be able to maintain it so i'm stuck with this ugly fucking mop on my head. i have bigger problems like poverty but my hair being ugly is what makes me cry kek i'm such a retard. i'm just so tired of not being able to afford anything ever and it's making me so hideous it should be illegal for me to go outside. yeah yeah i shouldn't care and i shouldn't place so much importance on my appearance but i do. i'm already insecure (clearly) and a borderline agoraphobe and this really isn't helping. i'm dumb as rocks poor and i'm ugly like wow is there anything going for me other than being skinny which isn't even flattering but in fact makes me look like i'm on the verge of succumbing to some disease.
tl;dr: I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING UGLY ASS HAIR WHICH I'M TOO POOR TO AFFORD FIXING AND IT'S KILLING ME ON THE INSIDE
No. 1930258
I woke up at 2am thinking about this one asshole teacher I had for a college course a few years back and got so mad about it that I couldn't get back to sleep.
Looking back on it, he really was a dick in that situation. I remember him threatening to fail me because I nearly missed a class presentation (I had ANOTHER CLASS at the same time and was confused as to whether I was meant/allowed to skip it - apparently so??) I had done all my share of the work in the presentation (back & front illustrated poster) and had nothing to say so there was no reason for me to be there except to get yelled at and threatened with instant failure until I cried. and even then he forced me to go up and stand in row, in front of everyone in class, nothing to contribute to the presentation except the tears rolling down my face and my hands shaking.
He also tried to lecture me on Southern U.S. history via Facebook at one point, which was incredibly weird coming from a Californian who was refusing to listen to someone from the South. man was calling me racist for acknowledging that there were propaganda terms like 'The War of Northern Aggression' that influenced people to believe they were fighting for more justifiable reasons than merely 'we are racist against the blacks'. like. i am not defending that propaganda but i am acknowledging that it existed - it undeniably did. but after that he had decided i was the poster child for ignorant racists even if he couldn't publicly call me that.
so yeah now that i think back on it after that interaction he probably just hated me anyways sheerly for personal reasons but that year was so fucking rough and he in particular made me an outcast in his class. it's like people can sense 'blood in the water' when there's animosity between a teacher and another student, and suddenly that made it okay to be really rude or cold to me. i didn't have the equipment to do my work in his classroom so i usually went home to complete my work and they acted like this made me lazy because i was 'skipping' but what was the point of sticking around when I couldn't make progress there??
at least he didn't actually fail me, i gave him no reason to, but i also remember feeling like there was no point to being in his class because all he wanted to do was allow us to write a silent critique of other people's work and then spend the rest of the time working on whatever we planned to turn in for the next class. i brought up how unhelpful this was at one point, the other students agreed with me when i spoke to them privately, but then they refused to back me up by publicly dissenting when I suggested that we change it. The silent critiques were also pointless because some people would just write 'it's good!' and/or you might get four in a row that are all pointing out the same problem ('this hand looks wonky', etc.) and nothing else. he literally just did not want to do verbal critiques because it took too long in his opinion.
the fact that i paid money at all for that class is a thorn in my side tbh. learned nothing of value from that dude. but i couldn't afford to fail his class and pay for another semester. i was already taking a full course load at the school, working a part-time job to pay all my living expenses, living in communal/squat houses because i couldn't afford 'real' rent, in the midst of a fully-fledged ED (saved money on groceries), i was going into debt to even attend that overpriced fuckin' school, IN ADDENDUM i was assaulted by a serial rapist in the same year so my mental health was already at an all-time low, i did not need his shit on top of everything else. and the closer i get to the age he was at the time, the more i think his behavior was pretty fucking rancid for someone who was supposed to be in a position of authority.
people really underestimate how their actions make other people's lives hell and all i can hope is he found someone to make his like that, too.
+ sorry for the novella of a rant and reddit spacing (this felt way too long for a single chonk of text), i just have all this roiling around in my head and nobody to express it to. also no way to ever receive closure on the issue from him or my former classmates. i can't even tell my side of the story because who would I tell it to, the wide-open audience of my personal social media? not my style. wouldn't change anything, anyways. so it's essentially guaranteed I'll die mad about another moid's behavior. add one more to the pile, i guess.
writing down why made me feel somewhat better, though.
No. 1930265
File: 1710797401248.gif (935.97 KB, 200x190, rage.gif)
I wish scrotes would stop approaching me. No, scrote, I dont want to have sex with you, you are UGLY. Hit me up when you shave, wear nice clothes, wash your ass and overall look appealing to me. I dont go to the gym 4 times a week, spend money on clothes, take care of my hair and smell nice to go and waste myself on some ugly unkept scrotoidg gymbro. I dont care if you are a filthy roidpig that thinks he's attractive beacause he has some muscle, that's only step 1(one) to get even near my pussy. Come back to me when you develop a sense of style, have nice hair and dont spend your free time playing videogames. I am probably dying a virgin because my standars are so high, but unkept scrotes dont turn me on and never will.
No. 1930397
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I feel sick admitting it but I'm really envious of the women who complain about unwanted attention from men. A lifetime of always being the frumpy ugly girl has left me so starved for literally any scrap of sexual attention. I couldn't count how many times I've had literal 4/10 unfuckable moids get offended when I asked them out. Or how many times I've had people assume I'm retarded because of the way my face looks. I hate catching glimpses of it in storefront windows, I hate knowing that this is all I am to the world. I spent countless hours in front of a mirror just pulling and pinching and twisting the skin of my face, turning whichever way, just trying SOMETHING to flip a switch in my brain and make me like the way I look. I'm failing college because there sometimes are days where I genuinely rather be dead than show my face to people. The only real sexual encounter I've ever had with a man was that one time where I literally just prostituted myself to a college classmate because I was so desperate to be held and loved and petted. I am pathetic.
No. 1930424
File: 1710807393854.jpg (131.8 KB, 540x543, evolve or repeat.jpg)
>>1930397Your post resonates with my nona because when I was younger I had very poor self-image and a lot of self-esteem issues. When I was in university, I really hated the way I looked. I was under the juvenile impression that appearance is more important than personality and soul. I learned a lot during my undergrad years about self-esteem, relationships, and my place in the world. What I realized was that it's abnormal to care this much about our appearance: just because you think you are ugly doesn't make it so. Even the most beautiful people in the world can be very self-conscious. Besides, even if you are ugly: why's it matter? Look at all the ugly people living fun exciting and full lives with fantastic romances, they don't let it bother them, so why should it bother you? Beautiful people attract shallow people all the time, and shallow people rarely make good partners. I'd suggest you paper up the mirrors in your house and stop taking photographs of yourself. In my freshmen year of university, I had had enough, and I convinced myself that it wasn't becoming, or Christian, to be so self-conscious. I taped newspaper up to all the mirrors in my house and I stopped trying to catch my gaze in windows and I stopped taking photographs of myself and I just decided to live. I realized that I was putting too much weight on how other people see me, when really the other is unknowable anyway. I left the mirrors covered for three months, and I got on anti-depressants. I focused on my studies, and learning about my likes and dislikes, and started getting into my hobbies more. By the end of it I realized how silly the whole thing was. When I uncovered the mirrors I was surprised at how unaffected I was, it was just me staring back at myself after all. Not some ugly horse-faced freak; just me. It's not healthy to be so focused on your outer appearance that you're letting your education go to waste. Stop wasting your money this way. Even if you're ugly, you might as well be
educated and ugly. Study more, find out what you want for your life, stop thinking about dating and romance and harping on it because it's only when you stop caring so much that it presents itself to you. I hope I'm not coming off mean-spirited, it's just I wish someone had told me these things when I was going through it. You sound like a deeply self-conscious woman with very little love for yourself. Why would other people be attracted to that? You shouldn't be looking for someone else to love you when you can't even love yourself. Before you can give others your love, you have to be so
full of love for yourself that its bursting out of you, like rays emanating from the sun. Only then can you love another and receive their love. You alone can change yourself, and changing is as easy as putting one foot in front of the other. Once you take a step back from yourself and
No. 1930493
I just hate that I can't seem to connect with people anymore. I know the source is that I was always best friends with other weird girls who didn't have any other friends (either), I felt like I could trust them fully because who would they gossip to? Their mom? It's just my shitty self image but every time I'm friends with someone who has a normal friend group I just can't shake the feeling that they're talking shit about me. I'm scared of making friends now, it's not like I'm in school anymore and can just look out for other losers. I just don't feel like I can trust anyone which makes me even more awkward and unpleasant, it's to the point where my voice has become softer and less audible because I just don't ever feel excited about talking to anyone. It's not like I hate everyone, I'm just too scared to open up to people, there's always some kind of rift. I know exactly what the problem is I just don't know how to break this cycle. Sometimes I even feel like it's better to just be lonely and have my hobbies keep me company. I feel like some kind of alien.
>>1930444You didn't break up without a reason, stay strong nonna. You'll get through this.
No. 1930507
it was just a few months ago that i was living a blissful life, my problems were minor inconveniences, and everything seemed well. at about this time, i would be texting my mom something silly to make her laugh, usually a cat twerking gif or something similar. i would be stressing out over uni and complaining about not getting enough sleep. if i had known that in 3 months my mother would be dying, i would have tried to push for her to get mris and ct scans. maybe i could have saved her life then. i cried all day yesterday. i woke up crying. i had to drop some classes and decided to go home after the semester ends instead of staying in france for the summer. i have some support but some people do treat me like i have leprosy. is grief and tragedy contagious? idk but apparently one of my “friends” told a bunch of people about my mom dying and now they all stare at me like i have the black plague.
the crying now has been replaced with a very generalized aching in my chest. the reality of my mom’s absence in my life has finally started setting in. i miss her already; the warmth of her presence, the sound of voice, her hugs, her footsteps. i will never hear or feel those things again. never wake up to her calling me by my nickname, never go on a late night taco bell/del taco run with her, never hear her sitting in her chair to do her hair and makeup. i feel her presence around me but i want her, not just her spirit, but her.
i keep thinking this is a nightmare. i want so badly to wake up and check my phone and see my mom has texted me back. i want to see that she’s back to work teaching and ask her what she had for dinner. but when i open my eyes i realize my nightmare is sadly all too real. there are no more texts, no phone calls, nothing. just silence and waiting for the inevitable end. i wish i understood why this is happening to me and my mom. i wish it was someone else and not her. i feel like a fool for not knowing how bad she was…but she never told me, even though she knew she was dying. she protected me from her demise until she couldn’t anymore as i had the terrible feeling something was very wrong.
No. 1930509
>>1929933Thank you. Some of these people with these Twitterfag personalities may or may not be genuinely nice..I don't know. But I know for a fact that people like my best friend have words that NEVER match up with their actions and are completely unopinionated no matter what you talk with them about (Best friend is a TRA and even always tried to agree with me on my anti-SJW opinions, even though I knew she was pro-SJW the entire time).
They are so keen to be agreeable they are almost pathological liars. She literally cannot say no about anything - would lie through her teeth even about something mundane like whether she's seen XYZ show. I can't stand liars. Even if they are just ones out of cowardice and yes man syndrome. I don't need an argumentative asshole for a friend but I don't want someone as one that somehow manages to be an even bigger pushover than me. It's unintelligent and very irritating behavior.
Also wtf at mods banning me for my post. I was REFERENCING someone using emojis, morons. I wasn't using them myself.
No. 1930532
>>1930509i'm embarrassed by how close this is to how i interact with one of my friends. I'M JUST TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE.
also i'm scared that if i say something that is not 100% positive and supportive she will turn on me and bite my head off and discard my friendship, but that's a 'me' problem.
No. 1930546
>>1930509I dont have friends for this very reason.
Its hard finding someone irl who will allow me to speak openly after theyve had their turn. I have to listen to their complains and vents but can never vent myself. When asked about the reasons behind their opinions theyve just ranted about to me for being wrong, they upset and wont explain. I have to assume its because they havent thought about why they hold that opinion exactly, its just "makes me feel good therefore thats why" but they wont admit that.
No. 1930625
>>1930509My cousin is exactly the "yes man" version of this.
She never lies about anything that's actually important, and if called out, she will backtrack what she said pretty quickly and pretend that she misunderstood you or that that's what she actually meant or something.
It's maddening, but we spent a lot of time with each other and each other's parents, and I think I can safely say that it's a coping mechanism developed from having significant learning disabilities (but not an actual tard) and having an extremely emotionally unstable mother. I'm generally pretty hesitant to directly attribute behavioral shit to "uwhohh i had an emotionally unavailable mother" or whatever, but her mother would scream at her and throw shit at the walls and threaten her with the chancla in front of our whole family for making very minor mistakes like leaving her jacket on the couch or taking longer than 3-5 minutes to get ready to leave the house.
(Tangent but when we'd go to the movies, my cousin's mom would yell shit at the screen so much that other moviegoers would tell her to shut up. I've never known anybody else that does this. None of us ever encouraged her.)
My cousin is now diagnosed with OCD and is trying to get help for it, but her behaviors are really ingrained in her and it's very hard to get her to drop the emotional facade, even when I can get her to divulge the few opinions she has. She's pretty non-judgemental and doesn't actually care what you do one way or the other most the time, which is how I think she can justify the lies to herself. (In turn, I think that she also intentionally avoids forming opinions.) She feels like it's totally fine to say something she doesn't believe so long as she's not hurting you or stating the opposite of what she actually believes. She agrees to almost all plans, flakes out about half the time, and fails to update you almost every time because emotionally, she feels like notifying you will bring on the "punishment." It's a bit exhausting but she's at least skilled at being a "fun" yes man. I don't think I'd put up with it if she wasn't my cousin, though.
No. 1930983
>>1930935Just because you love her and feel responsible for her, doesn't mean you have to be her emotional punching bag,
nonnie. I can understand her feeling bitter over being disabled, and that there's probably some resentment that she experiences having to rely on a family member for basic necessities, but just because her circumstances are understandable, doesn't mean her behavior toward you is acceptable. You need to woman up and have a serious talk with her about how she treats you.
No. 1930984
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They make the most idiotic decisions imaginable which primary school students would be ashamed of and they have better career than me
No. 1930995
I am a bum. I had a best friend for 10 years and we had an intense falling out a couple of years ago due to her replacing me with a junkie and ghosting me. I was there for her in court when she was in custody of her abusive father and step mom, my mom helped her look for apartments, get a bank account, etc. She was couch hopping (she refused to stay at my place, even though we've housed her before with zero conflict) and surrounded by alcoholics/addicts at 18 when we were falling out. Her mom was also welcoming her with open arms but she's too edgy to stay with her family who loves her. She told me I was a bum for not having a job and working towards move out… I was an 18 year old, recently graduated 3.8 student (spent my senior year at home due to Chinese virus), and applying for college while living at home with my family that absolutely cherishes me. I don't know what the fuck she's doing now and could genuinely care less.
Yet, I have fulfilled her prophecy. I'm currently almost 21, no license, unemployed and never spent a second at college. If you looked up NEET in the dictionary my face would be next to the definition. I have been diagnosed with a panic disorder, anxiety disorder, chronic insomnia and ARFID since I was 15. Seems like cope but it seriously cripples my life. If I do sleep, I get to bed at 7am-11am and wake up at 4pm-10pm. I haven't woken up when the sun is up in god knows how long. I've also been smoking weed and cigarettes all day everyday since I was 12 (awful I know). I can only sleep and eat with the assistance of weed at this point. Forcibly sober right now and I weigh 85 fucking pounds and haven't been able to eat without almost puking for 3 days. My teeth hurt, I have a UTI and I shower like once a week (I will pass out because I can't eat enough). My skin is near translucent, I look and smell like a fucking corpse. All I do is watch movies/YouTube, read, draw, go on lolcow, KiwiFarms, Twitter and Reddit. I'm too depressed to play my favorite video games anymore. I see my family maybe twice a day because I'm busy rotting at my PC all night or sleeping all day. My younger adult brother (not a scrote or moid he is genuinely a great kid all around) has $10k in savings right now. I'm counting singles to buy cigarettes. He has a sea friends he talks to and sees everyday. I have 1 (one) friend, not in a quirky way in a serious literal way. He makes me so jealous I want to blow my head off when I think about it.
I went to a job interview for a bakery at a grocery store not even a week ago. They said they only had the deli hiring. I complied and then went home. I opened some lunchmeat and almost puked from the smell because of my ARFID, I started to sob into my hands because I know I can't work at the deli. They texted me that I got the job and I never responded. All jobs around me are food and retail. I'm too disgusted by food to work in a restaurant and I'm too horrified of people to work retail. My mom has convinced me that I am going to get raped and murdered if I do anything else like work at a park I suggested.
I know I'll get my shit together eventually but oh my god do I want to blow my head off. After 15 hours on my PC I think of her text saying "You're literally a fucking bum bro" and it makes me want to put a gun in my mouth because she was fucking right.
No. 1931100
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>>1930424>>1930434Thank you so much for the support, nonnas. I admit I have been stuck in a spiral of self-hatred for years, but it has been so much worse now. I wish I could completely detach from the social pressure to be beautiful but unfortunately my family has always put a lot of stakes in appearances. My sister is literally model quality beautiful and unless I break contact with my family (who are actually very kind and lovely people who care about me) I have no way of avoiding it. I actually did have a period in my life where I tried to rebel against it by not shaving, no makeup, no hair styling etc. and it was the most miserable I've felt ever. I would literally feel sick to my stomach leaving the house sometimes. Now I am trying to pretty myself up again but it is tiring to constantly hear how beautiful my sister is with none of that ever going to me. I wish, oh God, I WISH the only place where I saw pretty privilege was social media but unfortunately I am witnessing it everyday with how amazing my sister's life is.
With that being said, I'm still going to try to get better and be better. I really want to make something of myself, and even though I'm so often extremely suicidal because of my looks I still have enough grey matter in my left brain half to know that killing yourself over stupid shit like looks is the dumbest shit ever. Thanks again for the advice, nonnas. I'll screenshot shot it and fucking hang it over my bed or something because that was some real shit you both said. I will be better!!
No. 1931121
>>1931101Thanks nonna. I would get an iron infusion if I could but I'd need to see a hematologist and my primary care doctor won't give me a referral even though my blood work is awful.
>>1931109Both. I need to get my ferritin up as well, if iron levels are affecting hb production then that's already severely deficient. Honestly I would stop taking the pills if they made me throw up too, but I can handle the cramps. Sub 1 ferritin is crazy, were you able to function at all?
No. 1931137
>>1930923My ex boyfriend faked a suicide attempt and it left me with trauma no different than if he had actually died. For the 24+ hours I couldn’t get ahold of him I grieved his suicide. Finding out he was alive didn’t change anything that I had already gone through inside my own head.
Your friend essentially did the same thing, so despite them being alive you still experienced grief, guilt, worry, all of those things aren’t suddenly turned off just because things ended up okay for them. You have every right to feel however you’re feeling right now, and I’m sorry they did that to you. Just because it was a cry for help doesn’t make it any less selfish of a method.
No. 1931204
>>1931167There's a guttertrash who does nothing but start fights and bully people. She seems to come and go, but she's been back in full force for at least the last two weeks (maybe more, it's hard to keep track of time about something so inconsequential). I usually leave when she's here and come back in a few weeks when she gets bored and wanders away.
>>1931200Lol, you're so stupid and wrong. He raised his younger brothers when his father and stepmother died and they both grew into good young men. He's great with that kind of stuff, but apparently not with violent emergencies.
No. 1931237
>>1931167it's teens filled with angst
>>1931204why attack that other anon for confirming what you said? also she has a point and you shouldn't have kids with a guy who won't "man up" when he's in an intense life and death situation, what if you're not there? he's going to freeze and let a child die?
No. 1931253
File: 1710864575349.jpg (30.43 KB, 480x480, 1709485197231823.jpg)
I don't give a fuck if it makes me look like a gossip or jealous or whatever, I warned all the other women at the yoga studio that he's a two-bit fuckboy with a small peen. I don't care about my reputation I'll burn it to the ground just to make sure he never is able to select from women half his age like a wrinkled, sallow kid in a fucking candy store ever again.
Pathetic old fuck. Thinking he can use fitness as his major attractor still, no money, no property, just the body, and he's pushing 50. I wish nothing but misery upon him.
No. 1931266
>>1930924the worst part is that it feels like if you complain to anyone about 'hey this person is genuinely being a real jerk to their students', as the student in question, people will just think you're whining. i also had a horrible bully for a teacher in elementary school, she was at this Church of Christ school and hated the fact that my family wasn't CoC like the rest of her students.
ngl a couple of years ago i wrote her the nastiest e-mail i could think of because she truly did fuck up not only my ability to trust adults and self-esteem (this was the first time i'd ever been treated like a 'bad kid') but my relationship with my own family for years afterwards. they did not believe that she was being in any way unfair to me until she proved it to them.
No. 1931272
File: 1710868695654.jpg (67.18 KB, 1200x675, pints gal.jpg)
Think I've finally hit my personal rock bottom. Woke today to my mom knocking the door on my apartment for a lunch I forgot I agreed to. Knocked some vodka back while getting ready (shout out to my alco self for not drinking everything). Managed to get through ordering but the second the food arrived it hit my nose and I just puked everywhere. Everyone was staring and then I started crying. I told mom it was stomach flu but she knows, everyone knows.
Called up my brother and confessed everything. He's coming around in a few hours to take my cards and money so I can't buy more alcohol. He is talking about moving in to keep an eye on me and I don't like it but I need it. I'm a fucking useless alcoholic baby. If it wasn't for the grace of my family I'd be dead in a gutter years ago. I don't deserve them and they shouldn't be burdened with me. I need to make myself better.
Meanwhile doing some shower crying while listening to old emo bands.
No. 1931303
>>1931279>Addiction is really hard I know how it feels. you aren't uselessThanks nona.
My brother went through an coke and booze addiction abroad and got out better on the other side so that's why I think he gets me. My parents are very much "ignore it long enough and it goes away" mode. I don't get it, acknowledge shit happens and we need to work through it. If I do get clean it won't be from pretending I'm not a mess
No. 1931313
File: 1710871503163.jpg (56.39 KB, 720x515, blue whale game.jpg)
>>1931210Don't get pissy when I match your energy.
>>1931237She made an assumption that he couldn't raise children because he wouldn't help, when he already raised two children on his own. She was wrong and was just being nasty to be nasty. Why are you so invested in defending someone who contributed nothing but attempting to insult me?
No. 1931326
File: 1710871837277.jpg (46.95 KB, 729x469, 1655725326145.jpg)
>>1931322Correct. You are neither special nor unique.
No. 1931328
>>1931288Thanks nona. I'm really sorry to hear that. I just want to disappear, I dont think about how my life would impact other people. I just want to blip and I'm gone
Also sorry if this sounded insincere I rewrote it like 10 times and every time I feel like I sounded sarcastic or stuck up. That is not my intention.
No. 1931331
>>1931244>regardless of the reason you shouldn't hang out with anyone who makes you feel inferior or awkward. im sure it's not intentional and that she doesn't even notice it makes you feel bad but stop seeing her so much if it's affecting your mental healthThis is terrible advice. You should not avoid every mildly uncomfortable situation. It will destroy your resilience and you will find yourself increasingly sensitive and vulnerable. When people actually do try to make you feel like shit, it will be very effective if you never make any effort to get over your insecurities.
You're otherwise right though. Some people radiate approachability in a way that's honestly a bit mystifying. But if you want to be like that, being around them is a great opportunity to learn and understand what about them draws others to them. And if you don't want to be like that, it's a really safe environment to practice overcoming feelings of insecurity. It's tough to practice that in places where it matters, e.g. in front of peers at school or at work because the consequences of messing up seem so dire, but this is a perfect situation for practicing people skills. Nona has the support of family, she's not directly engaging herself, and she will probably never see the other people involved ever again. Your mindset will impair your ability to grow and mature, and you will seriously hold you back in life and set you up for a downward spiral if you do start to have a mental health crisis.
Not to A-log too hard, but I get the feeling that you're still in high school. Gen Z, especially younger Gen Z, seriously lacks these skills. Even spending just a little effort conditioning yourself to be able to deal with negative emotions will really set you apart from other zoomers. Maturing into an adult is different from maturing as a kid, and it requires active thought and effort. If you don't put that effort in, you will fall behind and find yourself wondering why everything seems to come to others "so naturally." Being this avoidant is one of the worst things you can do for your personal development and well-being.
No. 1931410
File: 1710875611393.jpg (87.99 KB, 789x1024, 1691213331155.jpg)
>>1931339Damn, you've never even seen him yet you want to fuck my man so badly is makes you stupid.
(infighting) No. 1931421
It finally happened, my cousin got a puppy. I posted in a vent thread almost a year ago when she asked me and some of our friends to donate to her puppy fund. Why is it always the last person on earth who should get a dog, who gets a dog? She lives in an apartment (paid for by her parents ofc), continues to suffer from physical and mental health issues, and works as a barista. She got a male Norwegian Elkhound, which is a hunting dog that needs a lot of exercise and stimulation. My cousin is extremely inactive, and often refuses to even go for short walks. She has a cat, which makes her decision to get a "wild" type dog truly alarming. Norwegian elkhounds need a lot of exercise or they get fat, and from what I can tell from 5 minutes(!!!) on google, they bark a lot and are not good choices for apartments. I do not like dogs, but that doesn't mean I want to see one suffer. At least her parents are more than capable of paying all the dog's bills when the time comes, and honestly might already be doing so. Before anyone even tries to insinuate that maybe the dog will encourage her to be more active, it won't. She has (and has had) multiple, easily preventable health issues, and self-diagnoses new shit every few months. Why she wanted a puppy, I don't know. Because she wanted to feel independent and responsible? Because she spontaneously wanted something cute and fluffy and doesn't have a strong grasp of how money and time works? Every few months there's some new horror.
No. 1931427
I saw a photo of myself from 8 years ago and I'm crying because I used to be so cute. I miss the confidence that I didn't realize I had in my 20s, and I hate being in my late 30s now. I was always looking forward to getting older, especially because so many women talk about how their 30s are the best time because they're "aCtUaLlY mOrE cOnFiDeNt ThAn EvEr!" and meanwhile I feel stupid because no, my 20s were so much better in literally every aspect and everything just sucks now. I don't know how this is possible, but I'm worse at EVERYTHING! I'm a worse worker, I'm somehow worse at art, I hardly have any friends, my body is harder to maintain, and it feels like everything is harder to accomplish. It feels like I regressed back to middle school where I constantly felt awkward and unattractive, but at least back then the thing that got me through the day was knowing that I was improving and getting smarter, more attractive and more talented with practice. Now everything feels like I have no future to look forward to besides everyone I know and love getting old and dying. Aging really is a bitch.
No. 1931433
File: 1710876760405.jpg (63.16 KB, 960x720, 1690727885144835.jpg)
>>1931410Damn, even the mods want to fuck him? This is getting crazy.
(autism) No. 1931461
File: 1710877970170.jpg (Spoiler Image,10.35 KB, 296x400, s-l400.jpg)
One of my discord e-bfs just purchased a pair of striped pink and white thigh highs like picrel. I'm kinda disappointed because I really didn't expect him to go for the most obvious r/mtf pair, but whatever. I still love him. He does look cute in them Btw. I'm not sure wether or not he's just fucking around or is actually secretly a tranny.(baiting)
No. 1931469
File: 1710878271005.png (6.77 KB, 255x198, 1681511622178.png)
>>1931461>One of my discord e-bfsstopped reading right there
No. 1931492
File: 1710879544108.jpg (52.12 KB, 736x736, geto-susu1.jpg)
A moid randomly messaged me on my IG since i was sharing screen shots that I finally am caught up on reading Jujutsu Kaisen, and I really like it.
He was literally like "I feel sorry for you, the anime is better bleh blah blaah". Let me read the og source material and move onto the anime next. Why do you care so much?
No. 1931516
File: 1710881103206.jpeg (89.1 KB, 600x597, 0B9164C7-CB57-45AA-BD47-4ADA39…)
i was at a work dinner the other day and one of my coworkers in his 40s started spewing incel tier logic out of nowhere. he said that he was happy that he is married and doesn't have to date anymore because of how hard it was as his sense of humor was the only thing he had going for him. this is an average looking guy, mind you, he's just short. apparently all of his friends were handsome and could easily approach women, but he had to come up with quirky things to say in advance. i don't understand this and ask why he couldn't just walk up to a woman and say 'hi' like a normal person. he strongly disagrees so it's basically me being like 'you can just say hi' and him being like 'no but i can't anon, you see my humor is everything i have going for me'. i get fed up and say that it's a pitiful way of looking at oneself and this is when he hits me with the incel take.
'anon, imagine that three men approach you. one is handsome, one is average looking and one is ugly. you can respond to only one. who do you talk to? you can only pick one.' KEK i start laughing and say that it sounds like a question from a math book but he is completely serious and tells me that i have to pick one. i say that appearance does matter when it comes to dating, but that regardless you can still can go up to a woman and just say 'hi' instead of making an elaborate joke or whatever. he proceeds to put me on a pedestal by saying that i am 'easy to talk to unlike other women who are introverted, which is why it's necessary to make up a plan about what to talk about in advance'. i genuinely still don't get what he means.
i get approached by weird men all the time, so i'd rather prefer someone to just come up to me and say hi. hitting on people irl is not normal in our country, but i guess it was widespread at places like clubs and bars about 20 years ago.
No. 1931518
A lot of my clothes are neutral colors, white, lots of brown, lots of black. But very feminine, I don’t ever wear pants just as a personal choice. My go-to outfit is a black or white skirt paired with another neutral colored sweater, or a camisole, sometimes with a cardigan over it. Either this or just a casual neutral colored dress. I also have a disproportionately large chest, so pretty much anything I wear accentuates my chest. The point is I feel like my wardrobe is a pretty standard mix of clothes women wear.
I do have a few brightly colored pieces of clothing though, and today I put on a mint colored dress with a white cardigan over it and my mom’s boyfriend goes “awh! I love to see you dressing femininely for once, you look so nice. I wish you dressed like this more often”. Not that it’s any or his business either way, I literally do dress femininely all the time. It made me feel so bad about myself, because I feel like anything that’s even a little baggy on me looks so frumpy because of my chest. I have a weird hang up about looking put together and looking feminine, and his comment didn’t help. What an idiot
No. 1931531
File: 1710881866983.jpeg (70.81 KB, 735x752, every time.jpeg)
no explanation necessary.
No. 1931540
>>1931432Based and literally same here. I feel retarded for not noticing before but I truly didn't know at the time that moids treated me any differently. I always heard ugly scrotes complaining about attractive men:
>The only reason you think [Chad scrote] is so nice is because he wants to get in your pants!I always assumed these other scrotes were just jealous and bitter until I got into a "healthy" bmi and it was like I became invisible overnight, even to the ugly dudes. Like holy shit, it's the biggest blackpill I've ever experienced.
No. 1931708
File: 1710892054793.png (591.14 KB, 662x628, a.png)
>>1931608the expression on that thumbnail is fantastic
No. 1931722
File: 1710894029661.jpg (28.74 KB, 337x337, 90a5fe5214eac44b3b8774e68d757d…)
I hate how I'm the only person in class who writes down stuff so when it's finals week people who I never talked to will message me multiple times asking for notes. I always come up with an excuse or just don't answer and yet they don't get the hint.
I usually share notes with friends and people who also pay attention in class, because it feels fair, what doesn't feel fair is sharing notes with someone who never had any interest of talking to me or showing up to class at all.
This girl specially has been pissing me off because it's finals week, I'm tired as fuck and she keeps messaging me asking for notes, asking for help doing stuff like sending documents for internships and extracurricular hours when I solved all of this stuff last year because I didn't want to deal with it now, except she expects me to explain it all to her when we never talked.
I made a fucking video tutorial so people would stop asking me how to do it and there is still people messaging me on my personal number everyday asking me how to do it.
Anyway, I'm frustrated and I'll graduate next week nonnas. Wish me luck and hide your cows because we have a new vet in the farms.
No. 1931726
>>1931284>>1931321yeah, it's in the us. i can't deny the benefits of having a car, especially as i'm in an area that is pretty unwalkable, but if i'm managing to clock in on time and not always asking for allowances wrt time then what's the issue
>>1931290they're probably referring to the people on the bus with me kek. very silly and sheltered view but whatever
No. 1931731
>>1931725Thanks! Unfortunately my love for cows only goes as far as Shayna and Pixyteri, even if I had to study a lot about the four legged ones too.
I'm specializing in imaging for cats and dogs!
No. 1931748
File: 1710896036782.jpeg (54.12 KB, 540x343, 1658640562441.jpeg)
>scrote begging in my DMs for weeks
>finally give him a chance and we talk for a bit
>randomly sends me a screenshot of his "crazy ex" spamming him with texts calling him a whore, threatening him, lots of insults, obviously extremely upset
>he laughs at how "crazy" she is
>mfw my intuition just KNOWS how it went down
>tell him she probably wanted a relationship
>he goes "yeah she did but i just couldn't do it"
>block him
He probably thought I'd see him as more desirable or some shit because he had a woman spamming him. I'm so fucking triggered because that's literally what happened to me. I was that crazy bitch. The man I was in love with pumped and dumped me after promising he was in love too. I fucking freaked out and raged at him for months, I was so heartbroken I couldn't even function. I hate them so much it's unreal. 99% of men who claim to have a crazy ex are lying. All they do is lie.
No. 1931754
>>1927216I'm so effing tired of my friend rn. She keeps trying to introduce me to her trans friends and I'm just not interested. But I'm such a pushover so I don't mention anything. What gets me is I'm pretty sure they're all the kind of trans ftm girls that saw a "soft boy" in media and wanted to be like them.
That being said…
I had a depressive phase in high school where I did feel like I wanted to be a guy, because I have more traditionally male interests– but at some point I just became confident in my body and myself as a woman. And I realized that gendering interests is stupid. I'm trying hard to not look down on them, but I just see insecurity. It sounds so jerky, I know. But it's like, I'll respect you as a human being, but not as a "man".
Idk what I'm aiming for here, nonnas. I just need to get this off my chest somewhere.
No. 1931765
>>1931748Been in the same boat, nonna. Made the mistake once and never again, only give him the chance to have sex with you if you are already his girlfriend. Casual sex is only a win for men in all aspects.
Being pumped and dumped is the biggest humiliation a woman could face.
No. 1931788
>>1931661It's cringe but I really did like him- we had good conversations and a lot of common interests, he's in absolute top physical condition, with hair, he's technically 49 and I'm 34.
and then I went back to my ex, who is 22. No comparison. Young dick is top quality and I'll never make the cringe mistake of fucking an old scrote again inshallah
No. 1931798
>>1931793We should publicly execute the men sure, but I don't think the woman should feel humiliated for having sex. I just don't that women are shamed when men are the one who should be shamed.
>>1931795Fucking kek, love your energy.
No. 1931817
I've been reading up on attachment theory after a couple weeks ago my boyfriend and I had our first argument and he has a huge foot in the avoidant side. I get so irked he doesn't let me know what's up, I usually find out what he's doing via a Facebook update. Today he visited a colleague's house and I thought it would be something to just simply tell me. I've been updating him about my first therapy appointment and when I got home and stuff. I just asked him if I'd be able to stay over and he said he's over at his friend's house for dinner, which is a couple minutes away so he doesn't know when he'll be driving home, if it's not too late. He mentioned he was drained from today, which I get, he did fill me in on him dropping off some stuff two towns over so he has been driving around, but why didn't he consider to tell me about this colleague visit? He also went to a specialty store based on his career, and I didn't know about that until I checked Facebook too. Like, I'm really trying to be close to him, but when it comes to his passion, I feel left out and I find out about things on Facebook. I'm sure he doesn't mean to leave me out of it in a deceiving way, but maybe I'm just seen to him as this escape? I don't know, maybe not that, it doesn't really make sense because he invited me to see him working this weekend and I showed up and he was happy for me to be there and introduce me to others.
No. 1931823
>>1931729Lol I could’ve written this, I moved out of my mom’s house 12 years ago and if I comment on the hoarder hovel it has become she
still brings up my messy room as a teenager. Moms sure are something. Love her but glad I don’t have to clean up anymore.
No. 1931843
>>1931804The worst thing is they sought for attention from you after they did everything at their power to denigrate and dehumanize you WHILE having another poor girl as their girlfriend and current
victims.
That specially breed of narcisist dumbfuck losers need to be erradicated for real.
No. 1931849
>>1930532People feel supported when they actually feel heard. I don't think they feel heard when just agreeing with them about everything.
>>1930546Yeah there are people on the opposite spectrum. I'm not personally like that though and would like to think I don't give someone a reason to be scared about that. Unless, from having been raised by narcissists, I've picked up more FLEAs (i.e. behaviors picked up from narcissists) than I realize.
I've had multiple friends morph into this sort of softspoken underdog personality that gives me false enthusiasm, stutters or talks like nervous "Haha, yeah…" energy while giving an uncommitted response or half-baked excuse, then eventually distances themselves.
>>1930625Oh no, I can definitely see it easily coming from an
abusive family. AFAIK my friend's family has seemed pretty normal, though. I don't see how she would get it from them. Coincidentally, she's also Mexican. And I've had other Mexican friends be the same. Is lying more acceptable in Mexican culture or something?
>She feels like it's totally fine to say something she doesn't believe so long as she's not hurting you or stating the opposite of what she actually believes. She agrees to almost all plans, flakes out about half the time, and fails to update you almost every time because emotionally, she feels like notifying you will bring on the "punishment." Yes, my friend is exactly like this. If she can't say "No", she'll just let out a strangled/forced "Mhm" or "Yeah?". Like you're holding her at gunpoint or something. It's extremely hard to communicate with people like this. I've had another friend who always flaked out after saying we should hang out then tell me it was because of her "social anxiety". Girl, I've had social anxiety too. More severe than you could possibly imagine. That ain't no excuse.
No. 1931880
File: 1710906443079.jpg (17.57 KB, 254x275, m-31.jpg)
the novelty of being the fun weirdo wears off after a while and you're left feeling like a regular weirdo and the personality traits people found so quirky suddenly become annoying. overenthusiastic weirdness is only considered cool on anonymous imageboards where your ideas are insulated from you as a person. too old to change, sequestering myself from the general populace and becoming a voluntarily mute.
No. 1931898
File: 1710907472889.png (125.78 KB, 309x258, Screenshot 2024-03-20 170516.p…)
>get mobile notification from instagram
>"people you may know"
>recommending me my ex and his new girlfriend's accounts in the same notif
while i do miss him, am slowly getting over him and wish the best of them well i feel like this small thing is part of the all-month gut punch streak life has been giving me. strange month
No. 1931899
File: 1710907479105.jpg (710.06 KB, 1231x1920, IMG_8202.jpg)
>>1931890i'm afraid you're going to have to give up your clown license and become a mime, like me.
No. 1931908
File: 1710907754711.gif (904.33 KB, 252x255, 711.gif)
i wonder if life is going to get better. i have these moments where i feel how picrel looks. i could type more but this is all i'll say
No. 1931910
File: 1710907876882.jpg (40.94 KB, 500x400, 1000016612.jpg)
I'm aware of how retarded this sounds but I still have a mindset that my trauma "isn't serious enough" and that I'm too ugly for my vocal misandry and protesting against misogyny and assault to be acceptable. I was briefly but deliberately grabbed in the vagina by a total stranger in a waterpark when I was around 10. The memory is so hazy, I constantly doubt myself and wonder if I imagined it and have never publicly admitted it to anyone nor do I call myself a victim because I downplay it like this. I constantly search my mind for if something more happened and if I'm truly repressing something more serious because what I remember just seems so insignificant. I'm not trying to play biggest victim contest here at all nor downplay the experiences of others but even my 'trauma' doesn't feel enough to be counted, yet I don't feel this way towards other victims but only myself. If I were to admit to someone I was a victim of sexual assault I'd just say that and not elaborate because I feel like they'd go "Just that? Dramatic." compared to stories of girls who endured violent incest CSA trauma or something of the like. At this point I'm just rambling… pic not related I just want sweets.
No. 1931920
>>1930995You're not a "bum" for feeling directionless at 20 years old. You ARE living in a way that is making you feel suicidal (if multiple times you mention it are any indication).
You didn't ask for any advice, and this is a vent thread, but there are a hundred ways to make your life better. You just need to start working on the small things.
No. 1931926
File: 1710909394379.jpg (138.08 KB, 1200x675, fruit-tart-recipe-3-1650464619…)
>>1931910honestly i get how you feel, it's a painful mindset but it's important to remember (and this will sound like wish-washy cliché talk) that all
valid regardless of the perceived "severity" of it, and it leaves a mark on everyone that impacts them to this day in many ways. it's no competition, there's no amount of trauma you must suffer to be certified to feel a certain way and anybody who sees otherwise is an inconsiderate dickhead. what you experienced is very serious and fucked up as all hell, i hope you're healing.
pic unrel, i want sweets too. a big tart all to myself actually. but i'm watching what i eat
No. 1931928
>>1931926all trauma is*
valid. damn typo
No. 1931933
>>1931910Nonnie I know exactly how you feel. When I was really little, a grown man rubbed my clit. It happened when I was so young that I also had a hazy memory of it and questioned whether it really happened or not just like you. I also felt like I couldn’t call myself a
victim because it wasn’t a violent encounter and it only happened once. It was only a few years ago that I finally came to terms with it. It happened, it wasn’t okay, and it was fucked up. What happened to you wasn’t okay either. Sexual assault isn’t a game of who’s experience was the worst. Every version of it is bad and unacceptable. I see many similarities in our experiences and I hope for you to reach the acceptance and healing that I’ve found in my own journey
No. 1932008
Need to vent because I am completely aware that I am being a rude bitch to my mother and I need to feel the shame to my very core so I can stop myself. I also feel some of my frustration is valid and I need to express it in a way that won’t hurt her again. I’ve been super rude to her twice this week because she is obsessed with feeding me. She always puts more on my plate than I want. She constantly says Im skinny anyway so extra food shouldn’t matter. Im 155 lbs and 5’3 size 10. Thats NOT skinny and my pcos gets worse when i start approaching 165. On sunday she fixed me a mountain of bacon, 2 buttered toasts, 2 fried eggs, and a giant coffee with 4 coffee mate tubs. I ate it without complaining since I figured I could cook myself some shrimp we had in the fridge for a healthier dinner . Later she comes home with chili cheese fries so I just think “oh well she went through the effort” and serve myself some. When I snapped was when she cut her burger in half (she almost never eats the whole thing) and I ask if she was sharing with my dad and she says “no it’s for you. “ and slams it on my plate. i said “I don’t want it” she says “YES YOU DO!” trying to be stern yet playful. I get pissed and tell her “you’re always putting shit on my plate that I don’t want even when I tell you Im full. I hate when Im almost done eating and you bring me another bowl of whatever and tell me I just HAVE TO have it” she finished her food in silence. Fast forward to today. I tell her what time I need to leave to work. She is going to cook for my brother so she offers to cook for me. I say just two scrambled eggs and one toast with coffee. She can leave it in the microwave to keep warm while I shower. She says “you want steak too? Your brother is having steak” and I say no thanks. (Something about eggs with a slab of meat grosses me out) so I shower and go to the kitchen. I see she is plating my brother’s food first and hasn’t put on any water on for coffee. im like I have to leave soon, is my food ready? And she says “your steak is just finishing and i made you guys fries. Im making your eggs now” and she is making overeasy eggs….and I tell her I didn’t want steak. i don’t want fries. And I don’t have time to wait for the coffee to be made. So my brother says I could have his eggs and he’ll wait for the next ones to finish cooking (probably wanted those because the ones he offered she didn’t flip properly so they were mangled. Happens to the best of us but today it irritated me. I did NOT point it out to her though) and I cracked open a starbucks espresso can which she was upset about because she wanted to make me coffee. She said “i just wont offer to cook for you anymore then” and I said “that’s fine.” And left to work. I feel pretty bad about it because cooking for people is her love language but often I actually prefer my own cooking. I would have made my own breakfast today but she insisted. I would have skipped washing my hair and done it tomorrow (as i had originally planned) and then I would have had time to cook for myself. I prefer to feed myself because i can serve myself the portion sizes I want and make everything exactly how I want. she has other people to feed and I don’t blame her for forgetting what I asked for. Like today, I wanted scrambled eggs on toast but she made me overeasy eggs, steak, and fries. she cooked for my brother and made me the same food as him while also forgetting I was on a schedule and he was not. Because according to them, it was a better meal. She also does this maddening thing where I’m eating or watching tv and she literally shoves a spoon to my lips because I NEED to taste what she just made. Sometimes it’s gross because Im eating something sweet and she shoves something savory down my gullet. it’s extra annoying when she force feeds me when Im about to exit the house in my work uniform or a full face of makeup. I actually like to cook but she HATES when I do and refuses to try any of it (except the sides I make at thanksgiving) Because in her words it’s too “gooroomaaaay”. My siblings love Yorkshire pudding so one day I did a food ambush to her exactly as she always does to me. She sputtered and spit into a napkin and said it was absolutely disgusting and eggy. I was hurt but I understand not everyone has the same tastes. was like ok sorry, I won’t food ambush you again but remember how it feels because I don’t like when you do this to me. But last week I made more Yorkshire pudding and some was leftover so while I was at work my brother warmed it up for her and she ate it without complaining?!?? i hate she won’t try my food even though I eat everything she makes, even when I don’t think it’s good. Her shrimp alfredo is abysmal. She uses cheap store bought jarred alfredo and dumps frozen shrimp into it. Her coffee is bad and Id rather make it for myself but she insists her coffee is the best and she will “save me time” by making it. i feel embarrassed about complaining like this “wah wah mommy doesn’t want to stop feeding me” but it annoys me how dismissive and even mocking she can be about me trying to eat healthier food. Sometimes i think she wants to derail the progress Ive made since it’s literally taken me years. I still feel bad for having yelled at her and I would rather not do it again.
Tl;dr I feel bad that I yelled at my mom for constantly trying to overfeed me.
No. 1932071
File: 1710925310641.png (847.28 KB, 985x895, heihachu.png)
i feel like a retard for spending money on virtual game currency when i'm meant to be saving, i might have a problem with impulsive purchases. im a neet who likes to customize my playable characters in vidya if i can and that results in money wasted. granted, i don't do it everyday nor do i spend over $20 each time… because i dont get much… but when i reflect i'm like oh wow i could have used all that money spent over all these years to save towards something better. thankfully none of it has hit $2k… but still… damn…
No. 1932074
File: 1710925553228.jpg (70.28 KB, 735x724, d94af2b6aff7240dfaff512df18f51…)
There's no way we're nearly almost 3 months into 2024, Jesus fucking Christ.
No. 1932118
File: 1710932152832.jpg (61.1 KB, 828x673, GGB7QQ8XwAAlikr.jpg)
i miss so badly when my family was (sort of) normal and we would go out and do stuff together. now i literally never go out except to go to school or maybe sometimes get food. i miss so badly having just one single person who cared about my wellbeing and would do stuff with me. god im depressed as fuck. i hate this planet and i hate being autistic and i hate my living situation everything just sucks. fucking shit
No. 1932130
>>1932118Everything will be ok
nonny I promise you
No. 1932180
>>1931765>only give him the chance to have sex with you if you are already his girlfriend.You really fucking think a guy going "yeah sure you're my girlfriend" means anything?
Nonnie, even a ring on your finger doesn't mean anything. Birthing a whole baby out of your vagina doesn't mean anything. Men will fuck you over no matter what you do.
No. 1932182
File: 1710936239656.png (711.2 KB, 720x723, IMG_20240222_223441.png)
Are there any real good reasons to keep living? To keep aging? Is there an end to the suffering?
If someone is kind enough to respond I will be grateful
No. 1932183
>>1932130Thank you.. I appreciate this
>>1932182For me its to bring kindness and art into the world, and try to make it a little better for the people around me and myself
No. 1932185
>>1932169It also took me like 6 years to finish college alone, you can do it
nonny I believe in you. You are more capable and smarter than you think you are
No. 1932255
>>1932252Like the first episode when they talk about ROPD amongst young girls and the fourth episode. Stella can be brutally honest and "real" with teenage girls in a way she cannot allow herself to be with men and boys. They even discuss how people who don't understand it try to write it off under the guise of "well, if there are these rules and regulations in place then trans ideology must be
valid by some committee much smarter than myself" in the fifth episode but she more or less give men and boys who transition that very same treatment with her "they're just drawn to the fabrics!!! Who's to say why and how they transition!!" Like she's scared to broach the topic of autogynephilia and scared to admit men can have sexual disorders.
No. 1932265
>>1932263thank you, nona
I'm honestly sorry I keep talking about it, but I still haven't been able to find a therapist or councilor who will listen to me, state medicaid sucks man
No. 1932274
File: 1710944410767.jpg (604.17 KB, 1200x1000, 1626663072327.jpg)
>>1932268people act like we're mean, but lolcow has genuinely been kinder to me about real-life shit than anyone else
No. 1932289
File: 1710945596416.mp4 (10.67 MB, 576x1024, ssstwitter.com_1710944426585.m…)
saw this video and felt profound disgust, felt bad for that feeling, then found out it was a tranny. from now on, i will always heed my primal reactions to things without guilt.
No. 1932312
Just learned few days ago that a lot of things i was 100% happened as i used to remember them were fabricated by my ill mind. I read old conversations and things i didn't even think existed were there. I realized i lived in a fabricated reality i created in my own mind with my mental illness for at least 5 years, and that just put up more suffering and pain to what I was already having. It's just all so useless.
To finally see how much my brain has rot and is still rotting from disorders was so scary i'm still appalled by it. It's also useless to try and apologize to people for your mistakes, they not only will never understand, but they also will not even try to understand it, they will just think you are exaggerating or just were an asshole to them out of your own will. It's has been years since i stopped to harm myself by punching, slapping,pulling my own hair, bitting my fingers, cutting my lips and so on. I've never cut myself on my body because i didn't want to have scars, but I had such a bad urge to do it that I ended up running a sharpie over my arm to control it, though I was having intrusive thoughts of cutting my wrist to my arm vertically with a knife.
I have been facing my issues, I have been trying to get better, I started uni after self sabotaging for years and i have been doing my best to let go of everything that I did and that happened to me, but it all seem to be just useless. Every single day I get a fucking punch to my stomach and i can't take it anymore. It's all just worthless and being mistreated and ignored by the person i love surely is very helpful as well. Nothing ever works out. I should've died when i had my attempt.
No. 1932327
File: 1710948785703.jpg (61.6 KB, 1200x1200, doctor-who-cassandra.jpg)
>>1932289All I could think of when I saw that face
No. 1932331
>>1932312I'm sorry you're going through this. Instead of apologizing, you could become a better person who adds joy to the world instead of sorrow (to both yourself and others). If you ever cross paths with those you've hurt, they will see how you've changed, and then you can apologize. Instead of focusing on excuses, prove to them that you're capable of more. Live it. Every day is a new beginning, and every step, no matter how small, leads somewhere. You can do it. You are not beyond redemption nor unlovable. Everyone makes mistakes, but we have to keep walking, no matter how much it hurts. There is happiness out there, and it's worth it to find it. You deserve that happiness.
No. 1932339
File: 1710949464340.jpg (18.94 KB, 279x400, 1000002143.jpg)
Are all moids just fucking retarded with pets? My boyfriend keeps offering stupid advice about my new kitten I got a few weeks ago. I was telling him how the kitten had an accident last week and he told me I should take its food away as punishment? What is that going to do? Cats can't draw the conclusion of "oh I'm not getting dinner because I pissed on the floor". Today he suggested I spank the cat for vomiting. What the fuck? I cannot imagine having kids with someone like this so I'll be breaking up with him.
Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion but it just reminds me of my ex, who would scream at his dog for the smallest mistakes. Like, the dog would drool on the floor as dogs do and my ex would just start shouting and berating the poor guy to the point his tailed was tucked between his legs and he was hiding. For some reason he thought the dog was doing it with spiteful intentions against him and I just don't get it? My dad had the same nasty thought process too of our family dog being intentionally ornery against him specifically.
So many men just love to be combative even to little creatures who just don't know our social conventions. It's the most important red flag in my opinion because I'm sure they'll escalate.
No. 1932347
>>1932317Even skinny tall women with lanky limbs don't look like a man. Be real.
>>1932339What a fucking psycho, if he's
abusive and violent towards an innocent animal, who knows how he would treat someone who got on his bad side.
No. 1932358
File: 1710950302888.png (1 MB, 1200x675, IMG_6771.png)
>Apply for Masters program at prestigious international Art School
>Get rejected from MA program but offered a position in a ‘primer’ course that is still hard to get into
>Not what I wanted but I’ll make the best of it
>Get offer letter and it’s all online
Such fucking bullshit. They have in person versions of this program too so it’s not like there wasn’t that option. What’s the fucking point of studying at an overseas school if I can’t actually be there? This seems to be such a theme in my life where I get the most emotionally manipulative rejections rather than just being told no upfront. They said I can e-mail them to try and secure an in person spot which I’ve done but apparently their admissions team communication is horrible so I doubt anyone will get back to me in time. This is such fucking bullshit.
No. 1932359
File: 1710950304116.jpg (9.92 KB, 384x384, 30f1a167d7acb24208942adc7b616e…)
I'm kinda done on how much my mother infantilizes my sister.
My mother has the type of anxiety that if there's a real problem it's suddenly the worst thing to happen and if there's none then it's impossible for it to develop and goes into a denial spiral. A lil more context:
I'm 27, my sister is 17. Yep, big gap, but she got baby trapped by her second husband who needless to say left when my sister was little. Yadda yadda, I was born healthy. No allergies, no major problems, nothing, a healthy girl, meanwhile my sister was born from shit quality sperm and developed asthma around 2 years after she was born and since then my mother has always been a fucking hypochondriac by proxy and won't let my sister grow because of it, she became a control freak while totally ignoring me.
I know there's a generational gap but I live in a pretty secure european town, when I was 10 I went to school alone by foot, by 13 I went out alone at night with my friends (like chilling outside, my mom gave me a phone and I would text her time to time to let her know where I was but otherwise I was chilling with my friends at the beach, going for a late ice cream etc etc, by 15 I travelled alone by train around the country and by 18 I went solo travelling. It's not like she ignored me but she pushed me to be independent as long "she could trust me" and that resulted in me just being a chill person, nonsmoker, I don't drink, had my first boyfriend at 18 and such so it's not like I was a rebellious teenager who did everything I wanted but you get what I mean and by euro standards, which we are very infamous for our overly attached concept of family, this means a lot.
My sister is fucking 17. Since she was little, my mom made her go through countless and countless medical exames, some were even useless and I saw the doctors telling her "You can't come here every month for a total checkup, it's useless" "Nooo!! My child is asthmatic!!! You don't understand!!"
She isn't allowed to go out because "What if she can't breathe out of the sudden??" and every night for a period of time, she forced her (my sister) to do respiratory exercises. It's not like I don't believe she has asthma but it's not that bad.
And then I got diagnosed with a neurological disorder at 19.
"Stop nonna, you're being dramatic, the doctor said that you're healthy, maybe you're jealous of the attention I give to (sister)??" What the fuck, no. Also yes, the doctor said I was healthy 20 years ago, what's the point.
I cannot drive due to this condition, I'm borderline disabled and yet my mom tells me that there's nothing wrong with me…aight.
Recently I called her and she said "Finally I can stop waking up early, your sister is doing some extra-school project that's mostly in the evening." And I was like "Wtf?? What do you mean?"
"Everyday I woke up earlier to get your sister to the bus stop."
"…it's a 10 minute walk? From the house to the bus stop?"
"OMG NONA YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, SHE'S ASTHMATIC!! WHY CAN'T YOU LEARN???"
Since when asthmatic people can't fucking walk?
And then I learned that she kept waking up my sister. I left that house at 20 and yeah, I understand waking up your lazy kid, get them ready to go to school etc because they have yet to grasp the concept of autonomy but my mother is putting up the alarm on her phone, wakes up my sister, prepares her outfit, makes her her breakfast and then takes the car, makes that 10 minute walk by car and then comes back. And in the night calls me saying how oh is she so tired from waking up early !!!
Meanwhile when I ask her to come for a day because of my condition making things very difficult for me, she says that I have to grow up and can't always rely on her, because "How did you even got sick?? You were always healthy!!"
I'm tired nonnas.
No. 1932361
>>1932339Against my better judgement I dated a dog-person. Only command the dog knew was sit, which it would only do when you were waving a treat over him. He would give the dog a treat after his meal. He fed his dog once per day, even though it’s a corgi which is recommended to feed twice a day as they overeat. He would feed it so much food every night it puked more than half of the time. Somehow he never made the connection that his dog was obese, puking after eating,
and that he had to stand there and watch the dog to make sure it would finish its food. He said that the dog was big ever since it was a puppy and the old owner called him butterball so it’s just how he’s built, and that he has a sensitive stomach. Pure retardation. He also never made an effort to make sure his dog had good leash etiquette and let him resource guard. I thought I was just over sensitive and hated dogs too much until one day I decided to google if there were any ways to make a dogs nails less noisy. Found out that he was neglecting the dogs nails and therefore more health issues and that being the cause of the annoyance, then went down a rabbit hole of all the shit he’d been doing wrong. When I cuddled the guy one time his dog start freaking out and he just slapped the dog and at that point I snapped and bitched at him for 2 hours laying out exactly all the reasons he was a piece of shit and told him he should fucking have never owned a dog and he’s an abuser despite claiming to love them. He cried and said he just didn’t know. That’s how his parents dogs were and someone told him this or that and he just went with it, never once bothering to look up how to care for his breed.
No. 1932383
>>1932359I think you need to stop contacting your mother for a while. I know that your condition is debilitating and you need help, but the strain of having to deal with a retarded parent is only going to make things worse. Is there anyone else you can call? Are there organisations in your area that can help you when you're particularly unwell?
>>1932373He's a moid, that's the issue. Ask someone else for help, continue learning the language for yourself, and ignore his shit. He sounds jealous of you- moids act like that when they seethe but can't be physically aggressive. Take his passive aggressive bitchiness as a sign that you're pissing him off by doing something right.
No. 1932386
>>1932373Can you change whose class you’re taking? Claim there are scheduling conflicts or something. Alternatively consider a tutor? Or free online tutoring, there are language exchange apps and such.
It sounds like he may legitimately just be bullying you, your Japanese might not be that bad and he may just be enjoying mistreating you. Scrotes have trouble being professional around women so try not to take it personally. You’re a student in the process of learning, of course you’re going to have questions, the fact he finds that offensive or laughable is indicative of his ineptness as a teacher, again don’t take it personally.
No. 1932390
>>1932383Yes I have my nigel but he also works stupid hours so sometimes if I need groceries I'll simply ask for a ride. Not help with the bags/packing, just a ride since it's the only fucking thing I can do.
My mom would get ready for less than a mile but won't move her car for a 20 mile ride to a tiny grocery shop. I had to frequently rely on delivery. Shame.
No. 1932393
>>1932373Is it a reoccurring pattern for Japanese instructors to be assholes or something? I took 4 years of Japanese in high school with a teacher who ended up being a douchebag and clearly didn't like me. At university I took a semester of Japanese at college with a professor who was kind of a bitch and didn't seem to like me. I joined a Japanese club at uni where a guy with N2 and who studied abroad in Japan before would hold tutoring sessions for people learning Japanese. He outright admitted to me in private that he couldn't "stand other people who learn Japanese".
I then studied abroad in Japan myself for a semester and had one Japanese teacher who seemed like a bitch and didn't seem to like me either. I think I also caught one of the Japanese women who was a coordinator/tour guide glaring at me for no reason.
All these instructors were much nicer to the kids who were loud weebs. The only reason I could think of all Japanese teachers/professors/tutors/etc. having something so personal against me is because I was more grounded and didn't show as much hype "WOW, SUGOI!" about even Japanese farts. Or they're scared and insecure there's actually a foreigner learning Japanese who can say more than "Ohayo gozaimasu" now.
No. 1932401
File: 1710952107579.jpg (27.12 KB, 432x432, 1674224262876.jpg)
i hate being depressed. my bf complained our interactions seem flat, like i'm going through the motions and that i'm annoyed at him for "not entertaining me" (i don't expect him to "entertain" me, i've never said he needs to, and i've told him that, but he doesn't seem to believe it). i was happy just being around him, but i suppose he doesn't understand me, or the feeling simply wasn't mutual. i was talking about things with him, laughing and having a good time the day before yesterday, but he told me i was just sighing and pouting. maybe he's projecting his own feelings. he said he still wants to spend time with me, but now i can't even consider it without feeling like shit. every little interaction is poisoned with this fear that he doesn't care what i actually say, do or mean. he will just remember it as me being detached/flat or upset at him if i'm not acting like an overly excited anime character or something.
he was the person i felt safest around, but it's like i don't have that anymore. it feels like overnight, he's become a person i need to just minimize contact with to avoid pain. i get that depression makes people boring and lifeless, but it's hard not to be a little mad at him. sorry my life is stuck right now and i'm reacting negatively to it. enthusiasm and interest are forgotten if they aren't hyper-exaggerated, and i just can't do all that.
No. 1932412
>>1932401If you feel you can trust him nonna you could try just being open about it? I tell my Nigel when I’m having my pmdd symptoms, both so he knows to ignore it (and bring me nice surprises to cheer me up) and so if he gets on my case about it later I don’t feel guilty telling him to stop pressing because he knows what’s wrong and that it’s got nothing to do with him.
Just tell him spending time with him is enough and he needs to trust you when you tell him what’s wrong, you need to be honest about what’s wrong though. Communicate and commit.
No. 1932431
>>1932386yeah, I have to take two more levels of it for my major otherwise I would have dropped it. Sticking it out for another month until the semester ends and then switching to online instruction with a different professor for next semester, I honestly can't wait to not have him anymore.
>>1932393I honestly think so. The female Japanese teachers I've had in the past have been super nice except for one who was really harsh on random students for seemingly no reason. However this moid professor and every other moid who's advanced in Japanese are such pricks for no reason, I guess they have a superiority complex for learning such a "difficult" language. I honestly don't know but it makes it difficult to communicate with other Japanese-learning students at my uni because they mostly act like how you described.
>>1932378>>1932383>>1932385Thanks for the words nonnies, I do think he has some sort of ego problem. I'm not the only student he makes fun of, but everyone he does this to as far as I can see is female. I'll get through the next month of class by imagining him dropping dead kek
No. 1932434
>>1932421Tbf a lot of being ugly is neglecting self care.
Being fat or unhygienic can mess with your face and teeth, it'll make you unhealthy.
Take care of yourself and you can avoid a lot of it, even if you do look unfortunate.
No. 1932450
File: 1710955068665.jpg (78.94 KB, 669x669, fdfg5j0nveba1.jpg)
My favorite ice cream was discontinued
No. 1932465
File: 1710956067369.jpg (57.67 KB, 623x541, sladoled-strauss-ledo-500-ml-k…)
>>1932460Idk if you know it
No. 1932499
File: 1710957170276.jpeg (93.64 KB, 1366x768, mangacafe.jpeg)
My laziness must be ingrained in me or something. My new job starts in May and I have a very easy, low-stress sidegig that I can use in the meantime to save money for moving to a new place. I don't have much money at the moment and could put some extra money into buying furniture because I'll be furnishing completely from scratch.
I just don't feel like it though. The sidegig is dull work and I don't want to work until it's immediately necessary. I feel bad I can't even do something this easy but all I want to do is sleep all day. I mean…I'll lose that privilege very soon to being a wagie for 20+ years so why not do it while I still can? That's my thought process about shit.
No. 1932625
File: 1710962758822.jpeg (89.03 KB, 750x485, 5C009F85-5251-46CC-8617-C5CC3C…)
Yesterday when I was driving home from work I was stopped at a light, and a car full of teenage boys started making weird noises in the lane over. So I turned to see wtf was going on and they all exclaim
>”OHHHHHH NAH BRO SHE’S UUUGGLY!”
>”Ugly bitch in a Prius hahaha”
>”god DAMN she’s ugly”
I fucking hate everything. I already know I’m very ugly, it’s hard enough to have to live with that fact and accept people will be thinking it about you as the first impression and live with the fact that I will never be able to date etc etc, but now literal cars full of people have to shout it at my face?
The day before that, someone told me “you look great with the mask on,” (I was on my way back from a meeting with my boss who is sick yet refuses to stay home). The worst part is the person who said that is dumb and clueless and didn’t even realize they were insulting me.
The only reason I haven’t killed myself is out of obligation to my parents and pets. I have no friends. Will never have a GF. Dead end job. Ugly as fuck and am never allowed to forget it. I fantasize about getting killed in a freak accident.
No. 1932712
>>1932625i don't wanna come across as being trite but nona, you gotta find something to love. it doesn't matter what. it can be yourself, a hobby, a pet, it doesn't matter as long as it is important enough to you that you will not let go of it. not cannot, but an active refusal to do so. hang on to that whenever the despair starts hitting.
this may be incredibly silly but when i was in an extremely dark place in life, the thing that kept me from signing off on a suicide note was my cat. just a stupid cat, but what i told myself was that if i died, and she was passed on to another owner, nobody would love her and spoil her as hard as i do. and she'd always be waiting for me to get home.
also teenage boys are shit in a skin suit and do not take anything they say seriously. those assholes were driving around looking for someone to harass and you just happened to be someone who got in the way of them spewing their insecurity and bile all over the road. you don't deserve the freak accident, they do.
No. 1932787
File: 1710969987657.jpg (63.26 KB, 736x515, f9d75c4891546125d919b3ac938a67…)
The internet has never been crappier, it's so full of shitty zoomers, smelly coomers and corporations. Fuck me. Maybe I can finally go outside now. Also they're making Bettlejuice 2 because ruining The Crow and so many 90's Disney movies isn't enough
No. 1932803
I really like horror anthology shows/movies, like Goosebumps, Monsterland, V/h/s etc. etc. but Creepshow (the shudder one) had an episode about, a weird strange woman coming to a womans house, a random woman she met at a store, who she thought her life together and followed her home. The strange woman told her a monster was chasing her and if she didn't let her inside it'd kill them both (or something, I can't remember every detail). The lady lets her inside, not believing her, then a pizza man comes and she opens the door and the pizza man is killed by the monster chasing the strange woman. The strange lady just talks and talks, casually, trying to get to know the Lady, while the Lady whose house it is, is trying to build weapons to defend herself from the monster. Anyway, long story short, the monster is a mouse the strange woman trapped at her house in a sticky trap. The strange woman felt so bad for the mouse on the sticky trap, that she tried to save it but couldn't save it and it ended up starving to death. That mouse became an actual monster that was trying to kill her and for her to have the monster go away, she had to let it kill someone trying to help her (or something), I forget why, anyway, the lady eventually kicks the stranger out or the stranger leaves, and the monster gets in the house, they have a showdown, but they both end up tired sitting on the couch after a long fight.
The monster sits down with her on the couch and asks if they could talk before they "end things" however it ends (her killing him, him killing her) and they just talk, the lady revealing she has her own monster, which is childhood pet ( a weird looking mummified cat) she couldn't save. She keeps her monster locked up in her closet, she hangs with it sometimes, taking selfies and stuff. The mouse monster asks why didn't she have her monster fight him to help her survive? She said she didn't want too, and the monster asks her what her biggest regret is in life. She says there was a stinky poor kid everyone picked at and he wanted to be her friend, but despite feeling bad for him she ignored him like everyone else. At the end of the show, the monster just goes, "i'm tired, I'm so tired" and the lady says, "me too' and it ends with them just sitting on the couch, looking sad, drinking wine. This big ass sticky mouse monster and this normal looking woman covered in blood of the pizza man
I know this may sound like a retarded confusing hard to understand thing, but that little story stuck with me. Just how tired they both seemed. How exhausting life is, how many little things we carry with us, but some become so big but only to us, but how you can let it "Destory" you and others not even knowing it. How we can go through situations that are draining as boss battles and sometimes we just sit there like, "fuck i'm tired" but you know, you got to get up. Either finish that shit in death when it's your time, or pick a time when you are ready. Regardless, something happens.
I can't explain what it really means to me, but I'm tired too.
I know this is corny and hard to understand, but I always think of that story, even if I don't remember the fine details and I'm probably wrong about the meaning.
No. 1932806
File: 1710970835915.jpg (49.46 KB, 570x633, IMG_4452.JPG)
>>1932421what I don't fucking get is why allegedly blackpilled moid incels are so obsessed with reproducing like, they claim to know how the world works (genetic determinism, appearance means everything etc) and that their genes are inferior, why are still so die hard obsessed with spawning more subhumans? Like, if they could think for two seconds they would realize their children will also suffer right? Like why not just, you know, not breed??? This planet getting way too crowded as is, with dysgenic mouth breathers nonetheless. /tangent
No. 1932811
File: 1710971048000.gif (2.91 MB, 275x275, 1673486916248.gif)
Spent over 2 hours trying to install ubuntu on a new laptop, first I couldn't reset the usb stick then rufus wouldn't detect it and now I can't fucking access wi-fi during installation so I'm just fucking stuck like that I want to kms I'm too short tempered for this
No. 1933016
File: 1710981057407.png (3.66 MB, 1280x1600, IMG_2128.png)
My all time favorite fic hasn’t updated since 2016.
No. 1933024
File: 1710981584477.gif (804.85 KB, 320x180, IMG_6579.gif)
>>1933019*dick riding for tomorrow
Dick dick riding for today
Dick riding for the straight
Dick riding for the gay*
No. 1933063
File: 1710984798912.jpg (4.42 KB, 206x244, Z.jpg)
I'm such a stoopid dummy dumbdumb I just spent three days at work "fixing" an issue that wasn't even a problem in the first place, my coworkers tried to tell me too but I didn't get it until I finished. Why am I so dumb now?? Why does everything seem so much easier for everyone else??? Why can't i just get things right ahhh
Have to show up and keep going tomorrow but for today I'll just have to power through somehow. Also I'm a woman in a v male dominated field and I feel like I let everyone else down by not being The Best
No. 1933072
File: 1710985680640.jpg (54.2 KB, 581x450, 29-SMT037.jpg)
>>1927268It's gonna be fine Demi-fiend.You're strong. you will thrive, you'll look back and say "I fucking did it".
No. 1933091
>>1932625Omfg nona, I am so sorry this happened to you. Teenage moids are so fucking cruel and mean. I was also once yelled at by ones from their car while I was walking home from school. They just take delight in scaring and making people feel bad.
I was once walking home from school and also had a 4-5 year old boy that was playing soccer drop his ball next to me. He ran over to pick it up but said "Eww, what an ugly girl!" at me. AFAIK a teenage moid has the same amount of underdeveloped empathy so their opinion doesn't mean shit. I hope you feel better.
No. 1933163
>>1933105Yeah it didn't help that I read something somewhere a couple of months later claiming if that if little kids think you're physically unattractive, it must be true. kek
Holding kids as the best judge of physical attractiveness does sound dubious, but if it is true, then w/e. I'm just going to be ugly and unbothered then, I guess.
No. 1933168
>>1932959tbh i don't get the angry responses it's not like you're shitting on your friends
>>1933087i'm mildly ugly but working out (not just being skinny) helps too. posture makes a difference having a hunchback will make you look uglier
No. 1933185
>>1933183no you are a queen
men are supposed to put in effort and serve women
No. 1933194
>>1933017At this point, tell him you want him to take you shopping. If he can't set a date together properly, and if he needs to be told like a dog what to do, then tell him: make him your wallet.
Please tell me you don't pay a dime on dates.
No. 1933213
File: 1710995325418.png (2.64 MB, 1280x1000, 8ea9ea821c9fc0a19cb4a9e9d59241…)
Help me, am I the asshole? Kek sorry for the weird reddit-like shit but I really need advice and I really need to vent. This will be kinda rambly sorry. My boyfriend has a cousin who for starters is a pisces male and he scares me. I'm scared of all social interactions but in particular he's intimidating to me. He insisted on wanting to get to know me (he sent such a long shitty message) so we made a group chat on discord. But it's like he never replies to me, only to my boyfriend. He replies to me very sparingly. So I got kinda upset and got in and out the group sometimes kek. But I really have issues with socialization and I don't know. Now he's kinda butthurt about that, we were supposed to play a game together so we could all bond but after I apologized for getting in and out the group he just was "no I won't play it" in private with my boyfriend. Am I insane? Probably. Sorry my explanation is so shitty I really don't know what's going on, I'm confused. Picture unrelated
No. 1933253
File: 1710998604638.jpg (68.93 KB, 520x814, 500.jpg)
>>1933240Same. I must have zero gaydar detection cause all the gay guys I liked seemed straight to me and I'd never know they were gay if they/other people didn't say so. I relate to the pickyness too, the only other men (besides those) I found attractive have been dead for decades and/or only exist on screen, and even then the straight ones have gay rumors too.
No. 1933453
File: 1711023500772.jpg (38.49 KB, 632x632, b4409d20f04267259dd46fd35692c6…)
There are roaches in my room, I find them almost every night. I'm not dirty, I clean regularly, I don't eat here, I cannot even leave a damn cup of water nearby. I had to hide my stuff into containers, yet my cousin's room doesn't get ANY even though she's way more disorganized than me and leaves food everywhere, she barely cares. I hate cockroaches so fucking much man and they make me feel like a pig even though I'm not, it's so frustrating and I feel jaded I can't ever relax. When we moved in there were no cockroaches but I knew they would appear soon enough because this place was formerly INFESTED for years because this old ass apartment suck ass in every aspect possible. I'm living in an actual hell and my parents refuse to take it seriously, until I finish my trade I ain't got no money to my name yet so it's on them to buy something to kill them.
I miss my old house it was kind of ass but at least it was MY new house and there were no cockroaches in my room ever, they barely bothered me. I hate this house and I hate everybody, fuck this shit and fuck you all
No. 1933466
I hate living in the city, everything is so noisy and loud 24/7 and everyone acts crazy. So far I've seen 2 fights in the middle of the street and a random druggie having a breakdown wtf when I tell you my old town was so quiet and uneventful, nothing ever happened and i knew everybody. I loved it. I miss how sunny and calm it was, it was so casual you could put on some flipflops and walk around the garden without a worry in the world, sit around by yourself and chill, now I cannot even go out because the city is obviously more dirty and less safe. I never got catcalled back there yet these old mfs won't leave me alone, i miss when I could go out for a walk dressed in whatever and nobody would mind. There's so much pollution and transit, and I don't got friends in this area. I get it, there are more opportunities, hospitals and malls in here, but I just don't fit in. I wish I grew up in the city like everyone else, then maybe I wouldn't be having such a bad time getting used to it
No. 1933475
>>1933136>It's strange how you can tell the personality of an internet stranger simply by their pfp after some time… I'd love to see a little chart/infographic from you,
nonnie. I thought that seemed fun anyway.
No. 1933515
>>1933502Well nonna, it sounds like hes not being faithful and is projecting that on to you. Maybe with the neighbor, maybe not.
It is weird he wont give you any information about her, or offer to introduce you.
No. 1933522
File: 1711029224861.jpg (21.08 KB, 589x613, 1703103874126.jpg)
>>1932331I understand where you are coming from anon, i have a very bad coping mechanism where i ghost people when my mental health is getting worse, and that's what i was talking about that i apologize for. I apologize because i truly regret doing it so i explain what happened and why i disappeared, but it's useless, nobody truly cares in the end, no matter what they say. I wish i could bring joy to the world, i don't think i can bring something i never had, i can't create anything valuable because i hold no value as a person as well.
>but we have to keep walking, no matter how much it hurts.I'm desperate to be able to do that, but i'm just stuck in the past, deep-rooted there and it feels like the more i try to get out, more i sink in it. I was told i should face my problems, but i have no idea what i'm supposed to do with it to do with it. It's only hurting deeper and deeper.
Today i woke up at 3 am and i had a meltdown instantly, i just spent hours wanting to kill myself while crying. I'm at my limit.
I appreciate your reply,
nonny. I'm very sorry for such a negative reply, my chest is just a black hole at this point, but i will treasure your words.
No. 1933585
File: 1711032945515.jpg (64.53 KB, 516x527, Screenshot_20240111_212350_Ins…)
I'm so sad that there are no places nearby to learn muay thai (kickboxing doesn't sound as interesting even tho it's similar). I'd be even willing to take out my piercings permanently if it meant I could train on a regular basis. However the only place that offers it is about 40 minutes away by public transport and the lessons are at late evening and I wouldn't manage to get home before 11pm. With a full time job + gym it would be impossible to keep it up. I'm sad lol I just wanna learn to beat someone up properly
No. 1933664
my mom died today, and i feel like my whole world has ended. the nurse told me that she went peacefully, so i hope that she wasn't bullshitting or anything. i am so tired of crying you guys, so tired of my head hurting and my body aching. i made peace with my mom's death but it still feels like some big part of me is gone. she wasn't supposed to go like this. things were not supposed to end this way. i don't know how i am even going to go on, if it's even worth trying anymore. when i found out she had died, i had a literal out of body experience - i thought i could see her sitting on my bed, like i could reach out and touch her. i had to bring myself back down to reality. i kind of knew though, that she would die today. i just want to hear her call my name again. i want to hold her and touch her one more time. does she know that i love her? i hope so, i really do. i hope she's playing with our dog in the otherworld cause she told me how much she missed him. i hope my grandma was there to see her. i just want my mommy back, that's all. i wanted to save her life, i wanted just another week to say goodbye. i know i will find the strength to go on but now it just hurts too much to think about. please pray for me, i really need it.
No. 1933681
File: 1711037483661.gif (413.19 KB, 400x385, 30DB23E9-30CD-4084-AE93-70376C…)
>>1933664I’m praying for you. I lost my mother a few months ago as well. You are not alone, and you will get through this. We are shaped by the people who we surround ourselves with. You will always carry a part of her with you, and she will always be with you. She loves you so much and knows you will make her proud.
No. 1933689
>>1933502He's fucking the neighbor and wants to believe you are too in order to justify his behavior so he can still tell himself he is a good guy just being pushed out by his neglectful, bad gf.
Tale as old as time.
No. 1933778
File: 1711043588957.png (188.83 KB, 1266x688, 1704487744749294.png)
>showed my moid my mineral collection bc he wanted to see it
>he took each stone and I was telling him its name etc.
>when he took one of my favorites I said "but please don't drop it"
>he was already fidgeting it in his fingers and of course it fell on the floor and it got a scratch and I'm afraid it will soon crack in half because it's fragile and it just looks like it
Why are moids like this
No. 1933779
File: 1711043592573.jpeg (97.87 KB, 640x622, 865BB314-81DD-4877-8B02-A34A4E…)
I can feel my relationship dying. My boyfriend has been abusing me for months but I somehow still dread breaking up even though I’ve been trying to leave, because he’s isolated me and made me cut off all my friends to the point where I’m actually attached to him. I feel like I have no outside support and he has straight up told me that no one will ever love me so I’m lucky that he tolerates me. He makes me feel so unlovable and terrified of being alone even though being with him already sucks.
No. 1933823
File: 1711045938054.png (290.81 KB, 568x568, ok.png)
The amount of naproxen and ibuprofen I take before and during my period is going to destroy my liver. I could barely even get up to do tasks today because I'm too zonked out of my mind from it but if I don't take it I'll still be stuck in bed so it's a lose-lose. Feels like I'm going to faint some day.
Today in particular I thought I was going to die in my sleep again because I stopped breathing for a few minutes and couldn't wake up, then had a weird pain in some specific part of my head, I think I gave myself brain damage.
I feel like a drug addict
No. 1933838
>>1933823How much do you take? Because I was at a point with chronic pain where I took between 2 tablets or ibuprofen
and 2 tylenol through 6 of each
per day but I never got “zonked out” or breathing issues. And it’s much worse to be taking them long term like I was where it was daily over years. Honestly sounds like you should get that checked.
No. 1933839
File: 1711046648234.jpeg (28.75 KB, 576x360, AE813F75-CFF5-4038-A4C7-B2EAA5…)
>>1933824men with the madonna-whore complex should be trapped inside of a burning barn with no means of escape
No. 1933887
>>1933823have you tried flurbiprofen?
nothing worked for me until I tried that one
No. 1934048
>>1934008I didn't know he was unavailable until a bit later, I was really sad.
We just instantly clicked,personality wise and you could feel the mutual attraction (this feeling is exactly how it was like with my ex, so I am familiar with it and what it means). Bonus points because he was tall, cute and somewhat quirky and into some of my hobbies, far from a normalfag but not as much of a freak like me.
No. 1934057
>>1934008>>1934048also, to add
> you were interested in for 5 yearsI wasn't interested in him for 5 years, I meant it as in he was the only one I was interested in within the last 5 years (and one of the 2 in the last 10 years, so yea, finding someone I like is impossible)
No. 1934091
>>1933680>>1933681thank you to you both, i couldn't respond right away as i've been on and off the phone with family, crying, and just coming to terms with my new normal. my mother apparently had spindle cell sarcoma - i've heard of this cancer before and figured she had some kind of sarcoma due to how fast she went downhill. the doctors had apparently found the tumors in her legs which spread up to her stomach and into her lungs; that's what killed her. it all happened so quickly, so she really had no time to do anything about it. we didn't have time to talk about treatment, surgery, whether she was eligible for chemo or radiation. on top of that a lot of the doctors were way too hyper-focused on her blood clots and didn't seem to think hmmmm well maybe something else is going on here? it was only when she started bleeding from her vagina that they were alerted to the issue while they were clearing out the clots that they got suspicious. but by then it was too late - the cancer had already spread to her uterus. i really had no time to even come to terms with her having cancer, as she went into hospital last friday and died today.
strangely i am beginning to feel a little better now, like peaceful. my head still fucking hurts from crying but i feel calmer than i did this afternoon. i was laying in bed trying to relax and i felt like my mother was laying right next to me. maybe i was hallucinating but i felt like she was comforting me and letting me know she is at peace and that she misses me as much as i miss her. that she was sad, too, that she won't get to me live the rest of my life, graduate university, get older. i felt like she was giving me strength and permission to go on with my life and i started remembering all the happiness we've had these past few years, all the good times we've had together, the fact we got closer. i feel like god gave us these past 5 or so years together to just enjoy our relationship because it was going to end soon, and i am thankful for that.
but i still am going to miss my mom. it hurts knowing she died. it hurts even more knowing she died so young; if she had lived long enough to see her birthday in october, she would have turned 58 this year. my own birthday is in may and idk how i am going to deal with her not being there to see me turn 29. everything happened so quickly, so we really didn't have time to properly come to terms with her diagnosis. one minute i remember her going to work and then the next minute she's dead. i forced myself to accept, though, that she might be worse off than i was hoping, so i spent a lot of time telling her everyday that i loved her. calling and texting her whenever i could, praying and stuff. i wrote her a long letter the week before her body finally gave out. i still miss her and love her and wish i had one more chance to tell her this.
No. 1934108
>>1934046It was pink quartz but it was so clear, almost transparent, and it had very pretty patterns inside, I won't find another one like this meh. It was really pretty
I'm thinking about going to a mineral store this saturday, he wanted to go with me so if I see a similar one I will just tell him to buy it for me kek
No. 1934130
>>1934091it's so much harder when it's so sudden. she really did know how much you loved her, though; you did more than enough to tell her that.
i'm not particularly religious, but i genuinely do believe she is watching over you now, and i'll offer a prayer for you and your family. the way you speak about her makes me think she must have been a wonderful person.
No. 1934264
File: 1711065269878.jpg (146.89 KB, 700x678, 1702171530777348.jpg)
>>1933778>>1933920Just now when we met after work he gifted me a bracelet with stones symbolizing the solar system, he said he bought it because he felt bad about dropping my stone and he asked me if it cracked. He's stupid but I'm less mad with him now
No. 1934293
File: 1711066565435.jpg (27.43 KB, 480x360, saddest ever.jpg)
i think that ALL men who have EVER bought sex deserve to be ran over by an 18 wheeler and so do sex industry defenders! there ain't no excuses for this shit, it has to go. "sex work" ain't never "empowering" and that's the hill i'll die on.
i go to a support group for current and former prostitutes, and today there was a new lady: a 74-year-old whose husband died and left her destitute so she had to enter prostitution to survive.
it was the most saddest thing in the world listening to her cry about how Johns pay her dust ($5-$20, sometimes only a few cigarettes) and abuse her (she is physically disabled and needs a cane to walk which makes her easier to roughhouse, rob, or abuse) and the gross sex acts they want from her (a lot, such as deepthroating and fisting can cause injury specially for an old and fragile lady like her) and the other things they done to her like taking pictures and videos without asking first, one john thought it would be funny to steal her winter jacket so she had to walk back home half neked in the freezing cold, and much more. yet there's nothing she can do because she's in and out of shelters and motels and constantly on the verge of homelessness/starvation…
what a sad state to be living in, ain't it better to die? i feel so privileged compared to her, even though i'm hardly 'priveleged' (i was bullied into prostitution by my violent womanbeater ex so he could fund his opioid addiction) but i'm priveliged because i was able to leave, which is something few women can do. especially here way out in small-town west virginia, it's a special type of hell. addiction, unemployment, poverty, teen motherhood, homelessness, illnesses, crime/jail, trafficking, lack of education, and general lack of opportunity often drag women and girls in and keep them coming back with little to no chance of escaping. and we ain't even way out in the holler, this is a town! 5,000 people! none of the 2,600 girls and women who live here dream of entering sex work, sadly too many fall through the cracks because there ain't no place else to go except down!
i'm glad prostitution ain't legalized because if it were, it'd be so much worse, we'd have all manner of folks coming in from other states as "passport bros" or whatever to take advantage of our desperate girls/women who only dream of getting the money to leave this darned place (yet have their dreams slowly fade away as they realize that even after selling themselves, they ain't never gonna have enough, and might only make it to the next town over). it's already mighty bad, what with all them truckers who come because they know appalachian "lot lizards" are cheap. or the travellers who come and stay in the downstairs motels because they know the room includes a "hooker". and plenty more.
i wish i could help this kind old lady but there ain't nothing i can do except cry because i ain't got no money neither. even typing this out now brings tears to my eyes y'all, where is the empowerment? dear sex industry defenders, is a 74-year-old widow "empowered" because she can get a couple bucks a day selling herself to cruel men?
sex work was never empowering and anyone who says it is can smoke a cat turd in hell.
sorry for word salad i'm just very sad but also very mad and don't got nowhere else to put this
No. 1934302
>>1934293Jesus christ, this is gut wrenching. I'm not american, is there really no non-profit or state funded help for older people who can't support themselves?? This older lady has no family to help her? My heart breaks for her
I agree anyone who supports prostitution deserves the rope. It's hard for me to even keep myself calm whenever some privileged liberal says it's like "any other job". I remember screaming at a woman who said that "sex work" is no worse than working at starbucks and I asked her if starbucks drastically raises one's risk of getting PTSD, catching STDs, getting raped, pregnant or abused, and I called her a dumb cunt at the end. I just can't with these people
No. 1934309
I'm going to sound like a crybaby but I think it sucks how teacherd weren't more empathetic at school
I remember as a kid I was always late, from middle school to highschool.
I kept getting detention, my "behaviour" grade lowered, yelled at, I never arrived on time
I also chatted a lot in class
Nobody ever asked themselves why I was so undisciplined, they'd just punish.
Truth is I remember crystal clear feeling extremely lonely and rejected by my peersat that time of my life and it being responsible for all my misbehaviour
I arrived late, because if I was early or on time, I had to wait in front of the door to open and I had too much social anxiety to go talk to people. I remember clearly the few times I was on time and ended up awkwardly waiting in front of the door, feeling like all eyes were on me and everybody thinking "look at this loser all alone"
So I just arrived late to avoid that.
For the chattering, it was just that everytime someone was speaking to me I felt like it was my chance to try at making a friend. I feel like people who were confident in their friendship wouldn't sacrifice lesson for a conversation, but I was desperate so I couldn't ever turn a conversation down.
Anyways. If anyone had ever asked me why I was behaving like that, maybe sent me to a school psychologist for a few hours, I surely would have improved my behaviour more than with being punished over and over by vengeful teachers who seemed to care more about their hurt ego from chattering than about their pupil's wellbeing.
I get people are going to think "yeah everyone's unconfident why coildn't you just suck it up and behave"
I couldn't. This is just my retrospective understanding of my behaviour. If I was helped fix my self esteem issues, I would've behaved, probably.
Now I get the school system is way too fucked to have that many psychologist appointments but yeah it sucks!
No. 1934323
>>1934293If you search "Adult Protective Services" and West Virginia, you'll find the Adult Protective Services department, which is a subsection of the West Virginia Department of Health and Human Resources (as of this year, it's technically now three different departments, but that can be ignored for the sake of finding information).
Because she is elderly, she is entitled to special protections. Even if she's an active drug user, she'll be assigned a social worker who will fill out the paperwork to get her free housing, free utilities, free healthcare and therapy, and food stamps. Sometimes she'll need an address before she is eligible for housing or food stamps, and if the social worker is not able to provide her this, she should go to her local library and ask the librarian. Libraries have access to resources most people don't realize to ask about, and sometimes they will receive mail or provide PO boxes for the homeless. She would literally just walk up to the librarian and explain, "I'm homeless and I'm looking for resources to get back on my feet." and the librarian will often help them.
No. 1934371
>>1934293>>1934302yes, there's some help, but round here it's hard to come by. she (like many other folks here round here in appalachia) had no 401k or other retirement savings so they rely on the welfare programs (social security, medicaid, SNAP/EBT and so on). but it can be troublesome because paperwork can sometimes take weeks or months to be processed due to the backlog. plus all the hassle of driving to the social security office if you ain't got a car, or even recieving mail if you ain't got no permanent address.
we're doing the best we can to help her at the support group (it's not just a talk group, there's resources and support and such. we all gotta help each other out because no one else will). one of our group members offered her rides to and from the welfare office, another gave her an old cellphone so she can recieve calls and emails to access more resources easier.
(also, as a side note: so many dang Johns always say that they're "helping" women in prostitution! but it's all lies! john, you ain't "helping" that single mom by visiting her in the strip club! you ain't "helping" that poor girl off the streets by giving her $20 to suck your nasty dick, or $10 for a photo of her tits! that ain't what "help" is! the real help is being done by us women who know what each other's been through and want to protect each other! ain't no john ever given a a cellphone to a lady in need without expecting anything in return! these "captain save-a-hoe" johns aren't saving anybody, it's us women and girls who are coming together to save each other. even when we don't got no money nor stuff to give, we still give emotional support, closeness, and understanding. there ain't no men ever gonna listen to our problems and if they are, they're gonna jerk off to them!)
i'm rooting for her that she makes it out okay soon, it's just real sad that she gotta prostitute herself in the meantime to get a roof over her head. no woman should EVER have to do sex work for any amount of time!
>>1934323thank you. a lady at the community center earlier (there ain't no library in our town sadly) said she already called our city's social services office for her last week, and she's been put on the waitlist for housing. i'll tell them about APS next time i go to the group, maybe they'll move along the paperwork faster.
No. 1934402
File: 1711075244965.gif (611.21 KB, 498x373, eww-nope.gif)
old friend contacts me to plan a catch up tomorrow? fuck yeah! get told we're going for a 9km mountainous bushwalk? less fuck yeah. my leg doesn't work correctly and you know that ya bitch you better be ready to carry me or be okay with my long crawl back. at least i'll burn dinner calories.
No. 1934425
>>1934395Nonna please, if he wants a therapist he should PAY for one, don't put your health at risk for some useless moid
make space for someone who gives you energy instead of making your life more difficult
>>1934402Is it an option proposing other kind of plan that you'll actually enjoy?
Soooo I come to vent about my bf giving me the silent treatment for almost two days. We had an argument after I pointed out something he did wrong and he thought I was blaming him when in reality I wanted him to take responsibility for his actions, I wasn't angry at him. I love him a lot but living with a moid is not the happy everafter every fairytale makes it out to be.
No. 1934538
File: 1711081737846.jpg (53.02 KB, 540x540, 1706465210622.jpg)
>>1927430>hopping into the celebricows threadyou did this to yourself tbh
No. 1934543
>>1934395>I'm scared I will never find someone who doesn't treat me badWhat, and the relationship you've got currently is
good?
No. 1934555
File: 1711083070758.jpeg (12.96 KB, 274x257, 1699340534811.jpeg)
The top I just bought is too big. I just got it in the mail today and earlier in the day I had to exchange pants because they didn't fit. I hate that I have to waste more gas to go exchange the top. I can't do online exchanges because the store doesn't do that and sending it back would cost 10 dollars due to no free returns. Fuck store policies.
No. 1934571
File: 1711084893450.jpg (345.02 KB, 1688x1098, 3fv4S0bc.jpg)
I have mood issues I don't medicate anymore, and while I'm usually able to keep it under wraps when I'm depressed, this past week has been hell. It's my birthday and I spiralled hard about how little I've accomplished by the age I just turned an hour ago. Today was the worst and I couldn't stop crying randomly, can't think of anything except self hatred. These spells always clear up, they're already pretty rare (every 4-6 months) and I don't really have suicidal or self-harming impulses anymore. But I genuinely don't know how I'm going to get through work tomorrow. It got around that my birthday was coming up and I know there will be a lot of attention on me, cake, etc. I know it sounds so ungrateful, imagine complaining that people like you and want to celebrate you. I just feel like such a disappointment and a waste of air right now, I don't want to have to fake smile or think about anything at all. I wish I could call in sick and sleep through it, but everyone would be so disappointed.
I guess I'll just have to power through it, drink a lot of coffee. I wish if anything that I didn't cry so easily. Does anyone know how to stop yourself from crying as much as possible?
No. 1934583
>>1934425yes thank you! we settled on a ~6km circuit instead with the caveat we can turn back whenever i feel like it's getting too hard on me but i'll probably push through regardless. the place is littered with trails of all lengths, we'll find something.
wrt your boyfriend, that's so childish on his part. hopefully he thinks about it and comes to the correct conclusion, if not i'm sorry about it. i have a moid myself that disappoints me in little unexpected ways too.
No. 1934621
>>1934293Sex work is what made me give up on womanhood not soon after I learned that something like this exists where men can buy women like slaves, unfortunately I've been exposed to videos of men with prostitutes and seeing women in humiliating outfit wore for the johns, being fucked by the man violently in the ass is something I can't take out of my mind. It's the psychological side of this that traumatized me to the core.
I can't imagine worse existence than having men using your mouth to get off. Our biology really put us into this hell and it's what we are first then the mind that has to conform to the biological reality we are living as, it makes me shake. I even see pregnancy as a violation(thinking about it makes me depressed and suffocated, I am my biology and my biology is this shit.. My whole existence is this shit… We exist as sex) and it makes me realise that women are so delusional about things like romance because its a coping mechanism, bypassing the truth and having any ego to not experience the trauma. Our biology already determined that we have to be degraded so women mentally accommodate themselves to this reality through becoming masochistic and egoless that's why I don't believe that gender non conformity is possible if gender is biological. Sex work or regular sex is a woman being just as servile to men because romance is just a sexual attraction and sex is this, prostitution really exposes everything to me. There's nothing romantic about relationships with men neither pregnancy (many women see it as romantic). Romance is the female mind creating a defense mechanism against trauma, notice how the delusions are always about love just so you end up self sacrificing without noticing it much. What is sex about? What is prostitution about? I think sex being about reproduction makes prostitution even more sinister, originally women partnered with men to raise children together, it was about getting the best mate not for romance but children
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 1934674
I love my boyfriend, and I want to love his dog too, but he has a complete nightmare of a dog and I don’t know what to do. I love animals more than anyone I know, I grew up always having multiple pets. My last two dogs I had died of old age a few months ago, right before I moved in with my boyfriend. It was really hard to lose them both right after each other, and it’s been made even more difficult by moving in with my boyfriend and his horrible dog.
He’s massive, over 100lbs and incredibly strong. He pulls so badly on walks, chases all of the wildlife, has hurt me during walks on more than one occasion. He refuses to come inside every single time we go on a walk, and during the day it’s a mild annoyance at best but when it’s raining or really cold it’s such a problem. If I grab his harness to try to lead him inside he tries to bite me.
He jumps all over me and has scratched me numerous times. He does this frequently throughout the day. An incident I had with him last night left both of my arms and a small part of my face cut up and bleeding. He barks constantly, he barks at animals outside, he barks if he can’t physically get to you, he barks if anyone is over at the house, nonstop barking all the time. My boyfriend and I can’t be physically affectionate ever without him causing an issue. If we’re too physically close to each other he’s either nonstop barking a shrill ear piercing bark, or jumping all over us pushing us apart.
He won’t let you groom him, brushing, bathing, nail cutting, it’s always a fight. He chews up everything he can get ahold of, literally nothing you care about can be left within his reach. And I’ve just had to accept all furniture and rugs will be partially chewed up from now on. He’s my boyfriend’s first dog so I’m trying to be understanding of his lack of training, but getting this large of a dog as his first pet was a fucking terrible idea and now it’s making my day to day life miserable. I can’t train him, I’ve tried. I try so hard to work with him and he continues to hurt me and be absolutely insane, he’s way too much for me to handle. He’s only 2 so we’re just stuck with this nightmare for so long, but I can’t be pregnant around this dog. I can’t ever have a baby around this dog. He’s closer to a wild animal than a pet, it just wouldn’t be safe. I no longer know what to do.
No. 1934677
>>1934674I'm really sorry you're dealing with that
nonnie - really the only options are to get the aide of a professional trainer, or leave your moid / refuse to be around the dog. Unfortunately the former won't come cheap but the reality is that you're both sitting on a ticking time bomb. Eventually that dog will hurt someone, likely very serverly, either one of you or some innocent bystander. 2 is young enough that good behaviour can be instilled, but it really does need to come from someone a lot more experienced with dogs.
No. 1934678
>>1934674Pose an ultimatum: Your boyfriend (not you, but the owner of the dog) takes the dog to an adult dog training course/behaviorist or the dog gets rehomed. He HAS to train the damn dog, that's HIS responsibility. NOT yours, don't make it yours.
That said, I know that's easier said than done. My mom lived all her life taking care of her husband's dogs she didn't want and he didn't care of. Now he's gone (dead) and she's stuck with his two large, young dogs she begged and begged him not to get because he didn't train them. Not trying to blogpost here but showing you what happens if you let your bf walk over you and let him take the lazy way out. Don't become like my mom and stand up for yourself. He's clearly already shoving his responsibilities as a dog owner onto you. Your bf needs to get off his lazy ass and train his dog. Especially with a baby potentially in your future (not that your safety and comfort in your own home isn't enough reason by itself).
No. 1934772
>>1934763your mom is probably just trying to be supportive but i feel like i get it. i had to do irl sex work for about two years during my 20's when i was dirt-poor and couldn't make rent consistently. it's not glamorous, it's not empowering, it's not safe. and it's wild to me that we're still selling that myth of 'become a sugar baby, men only want hot arm candy, you won't have to do anything' to barely-legal teenagers. there is a recently released serial rapist in my town that preyed on women for over a decade by using sites like SeekingArrangement or Backpages to get sex workers alone and vulnerable.
i've still never told my parents because they'd be disgusted by me for the rest of my life if they knew.
i hope your clients remain 'just fine' and you make it out okay, nona.
No. 1934780
File: 1711110713999.jpeg (29.56 KB, 680x677, F_zwbrDWMAAjd6I.jpeg)
Fucking hate moids, I swear one day I will get in trouble for jumping at one. It's rainy today so I had my hood on, I went to a grocery store and as I was walking inside, there was a guy passing by, he looked kinda like a hobo, he touched my hood and he slided it off my head and he touched my head and I said "take it off, you look prettier without it" and I almost fucking jumped at him, the urge to punch him was so strong. I asked him "what's wrong with you?" and he frowned and asked "what?" like he couldn't believe my reaction, then I repeated my question, and then he again replied with "WHAT?" and I could feel in his voice like he wanted to provoke me. I just said "fuck off" and I went inside the store and the moid just stood there, I just saw someone from the staff was talking to him but I don't know it it was related or not. What makes moids think they have the right to touch strangers in public? If he did that to a guy he could've been way less lucky. I had moids following me. I had strange moids telling me really creepy shit. I had moids making up stories about my (non existent) sex adventures because they were jealous I didn't want to date them and then telling those stories to other moids. I hate moids SO much
No. 1934783
>>1934772Thanks
nonnie. Lots of different factors can lead you into this, it's not just "ugh I don't want to work at McDonalds". Suddenly you're just in a situation like that and life just fucking happens. I'm glad you're done with it.
>>1934768>nothing ever happens, ever No. 1934835
File: 1711115251701.gif (566.03 KB, 220x146, IMG_6606.gif)
>>1934830Me listening to this after 3 bumps of Mandy
No. 1934858
File: 1711116630582.jpg (80.27 KB, 349x482, 1000003530.jpg)
>>1934835Bad meme responses feel like the sexual harassment meme
No. 1934896
working hospitality as a job sucks in most ways, but a consistent silver lining, for me at least, has always been how great my coworkers usually end up being, especially at the location i'm at now. so far i've been able to get along with pretty much everyone i've introduced myself to since i started a couple of weeks ago, all except for one woman that works the front desk.
it's weird, because for the first few days she was all smiles and was generally helpful when i had questions, we even joked a little which was really nice, but the day before she was set to take a small vacation last week she went completely cold with me. i thought she must have had a lot on her mind, or maybe she wasn't having a good day or something, but now she's back after a week away, and it looks like she really can't stand me after all. she only bothers to say 'excuse me' or even acknowledge me when another person is present, refuses to look in my direction, and gets snippy with me when she thinks i'm doing my job "too much". i'm not sure what it is that i did to piss her off–maybe it was a facade all along?–but i'm disappointed at the sudden turnaround. it sucks, because i'll likely be seeing a lot of her from now on since my job puts me in her general vicinity more often than not, and while i'd much rather like to get along with her, she doesn't seem the least bit interested in the idea.
can't win 'em all, i guess…
No. 1934987
Hi nonas, it's me, the one getting a fault divorce from a worthless porn-addicted religious nutcase who stole my retirement to pay onlyfans and cam sites (
>>1914634).
Just thought I'd let you know that my case was filed a few days ago at the court and my lawyer appended my entire excel sheet of porn charges to the initial filing (which I didn't expect, kek). I didn't even include applepay or other charges since those don't say what they are for. I only put porn sites. and since that involved going through multiple bank and cc statements (some of the 2023 ones I had to persuade him to give me), it was long and painful work. I only got through about 20 months of charges. I felt doing it myself would save valuable money rn, if he wants to appeal the accuracy, he can pay his own person to do it. For that reason I made sure everything was 100% accurate.
The interactive porn charges added up to more than 179k in USD. For 20 months.
Be warned if you find out a moid is paying for porn. In my defense, as soon as I found out, I called a lawyer. I didn't wait one fucking second. But I know most cases aren't this extreme.
No. 1935104
File: 1711131345970.jpeg (25.67 KB, 400x562, 4 wat purpose?.jpeg)
>Get nice job after years of retail hell
>I probably have to quit because it making me sick
Why. Gonna have to pick up some dead end gas station job again, I'm going to miss my current job so much. My colleagues are nice, I get perks and the pay is good but it's so dusty I can feel my throat closing up when I'm there for more than 20 mins.
No. 1935141
File: 1711132641000.png (1.95 MB, 1170x1216, Screen Shot 2024-03-22 at 15.3…)
I feel so fucking crappy that my manager did my project for me. I was not even late with it, just had some questions about the design.
Then he decides to do the whole thing himself because fuck me I guess. If he wanted it to be complete faster he could just have said so. He never gives me negative feedback on 1:1 calls but his actions tell me he does not trust me at all.
No. 1935142
>>1935114Thanks
nonnie, I'm trying it tomorrow. Hope it fixes it.
No. 1935191
File: 1711134204489.jpg (59.77 KB, 500x667, fc1e96061ddcca9cf74357dc2c50bf…)
i hate existing
No. 1935195
It's such a beautiful day, the window of time when we have beautiful weather here that isn't scorchingly hot and terrible is so small. But every time I ask someone I love to come to the park and walk with me, or just spend some time outside, they give every excuse under the sun as to why they can't and it makes me so sad. Walking in beautiful places and getting sun and enjoying the outdoors has been so good for me, and they always say they want to support me, that they'll do anything. But even something as small as a walk with me when it's beautiful outside, they can't find the care to do, even when they're not doing anything else. Everyone would rather stay inside and watch tv, or go shopping, or eat. I feel so alone in this place even though people say they love and support me and I'm trying to get better but it's so hard. I don't like to go walking alone at the park near me because there are men there sometimes who have scared me, and it's a 10 minute drive to get there already. Maybe I am just a whiny brat but I don't want to do this life any more. Everything feels nightmarish.
No. 1935234
File: 1711135018741.jpeg (20.75 KB, 275x275, tinfoil cat.jpeg)
My friend keeps falling for stupid conspiracy theories. I'm one of the few people she feels comfortable sharing them with, I'm not above tinfoiling from time to time for fun. But it's starting to get to me lately. The theories just keep getting worse. I try to hear her out and respond with critical thinking. But I'm starting to resent that I have to hear about this stupid shit. It's also concerning me for her well-being that she gets invested in it. For her, it's not just a fun "what if" any longer. She actually believes this stuff (I don't want to get into specifics because it's making me too upset). I sometimes feel like I'm losing my friend to this nonsense.
No. 1935519
File: 1711145926166.jpg (24.21 KB, 540x360, 360_F_217694436_GlZ2SZ7eosWccF…)
Idk how to say this but I think my dad isn't proud of me and it hurts me a lot. I'm an autist who still lives with him, but I'm high functioning and I do have a job I go to every day. Any time my job comes up he says I'm lucky to have it, never anything about my skill or that I work hard (even though they hired me for my skill not knowing I'm was an autist until way later). Always just that I'm lucky, always talking about it like if I lose it I'd be doomed and couldn't get another job.
I can't drive so I bike almost everywhere, and I'm happy to do so. I typically ask for a ride literally less than once a month, and I see friends way less than that. I barely have a social life (I have friends online though). Still, if I ask him to pick me up from a friend who lives a bit too far to bike he complains I do it too much and that I "can't expect him to always drive me everywhere". Am I really that spoiled and autistic to see it when it's just once a month? When I think about it, if the roles were reversed I would do everything I could to help him (or any other family member I love). I cook (a lot) more than he does, I clean my own stuff etc… yet I think he sees me as incapable. Like he loves me because he has to, but he sees me as useless and I'll never be good enough for him to actually be proud of me.
No. 1935523
File: 1711146287094.png (422.18 KB, 640x480, IMG_9177.png)
>>1935519Nonny, from your description you’re doing great and I’m proud of you. Try to release yourself from caring about what any man thinks, even if he is your dad.xo
No. 1935558
>>1935519You’re doing just great
nonnie giving your best, if you were my child I’d be proud.
No. 1935665
File: 1711154363496.png (153.32 KB, 788x438, FJvwWAvXsAASCAP.png)
is it wrong to move and not bring my mom with me? i've basically been with her my whole entire life barring maybe ~5 years for uni (i will be 25 this year) and i want to live on my own now. i want a chance at living out the rest of my youth; i really want to move to another state, maybe one where i can get a gf and date women in peace. this is my goal for next year, or within the next few years at worst.
it would be an easy choice if our home town wasn't such a shit show but it is, it's a dead shitty town with dead shitty people. and if i had enough cash to give her so she could move off on her own i would but i probably won't once i start working for real. on one hand i'm like "we could move and live together and just be a dual household still" and on the other i'm like "she had me well into her thirties and it's not my job to 'save her', right? especially when she wasn't exactly the perfect mother, quite the opposite. even if i understand her struggle she still fucked me up in multiple ways"
No. 1935690
File: 1711156735629.gif (9 KB, 220x220, 43F9078F-3ABA-49A4-943D-36A0B7…)
My dad is meeting up with old friends and I just realized that when they ask about me or if he brings me up unprompted, the only thing he can say about me is how messed my health is and lament about it. All the others would probably be like oh no that’s so sad and remember me as a kid and then think ah so that’s what has become of her. Recently I was invited to a birthday party and so many people from high school I haven’t seen since then were invited and I did not want to subject myself to the hell of having everyone see me like this and have to explain myself. I’d have nothing to say when people ask me how I’ve been and what I’ve been up to these past years because it’s miserable. My life is a constant series of humiliations, fine, but I have a limit. I know everyone has been doing very well and I don’t want people to look at me like a leper since it’s a physically visible condition. I have such low tolerance and get so overwhelmed so easy now where I find it harder to hide discomfort and nerves and it just makes me such a freak. Recently too, my mom met up with her two friends and they were talking about how great their daughters (for context one is my best friend and the other used to be our friend ages ago) are doing with their boyfriends, and my mom must have just sat in silence because there’s nothing to say about me. Even aside from that there is nothing positive she can flaunt about me. Nothing she can say. Part of me isn’t so hurt. I just didn’t think it would be like this. What does hurt is that today at that party my dad’s friends will 100% ask him “how’s anon?” and I can already hear them go “ooouuuhh pobrecita” like that pitied o shit sound people make when they see like a hurt dog or something.
And to add on I just can’t hold it together. I’m irritated so easy and overwhelmed so fast. Too many people have seen me hysterical when they should have never seen me like that. Only my parents have ever seen me like that. I’m already like an animal in the way I can’t have some control over my body but damn.
No. 1935760
File: 1711162103272.jpeg (57.34 KB, 919x720, 35g2c4.jpeg)
Having a small lament over my early young adulthood.
god, i dated a man with a porn addiction who looked at cosplayers with big tits more than me once. (He loved moomoo). Who was older than me, same age as my oldest sister. He knew me since I was like 12. I was 19/20/21. The girl before me was 20/21. He saw my boobs when I was like 17. My home schooled ass shouldn’t have had as free range as I did on the internet. What the fuck was I doing then and how tf did I end up doing all that? Like. What the fuck. He wasn’t only man I was around who was basically grooming me either. He was the one who won the prize. I almost married him before he moved in with him, decided I wasn’t fun anymore and left me with his family and me miles away from home and unable to go back. I am back home now and we haven’t spoken in like 3 years. One of his ex roommates told me he still apparently has nudes of me and looks at them (he dead ass showed them to his roommates)
I wish time travel was real so I could beat myself up. Oh well. I am moving past that now I guess. Monitor your kid’s internet access. If your kid is homeschooled try to make sure they have a social life that isn’t the computer somehow. Maybe say something if your 19 year old is dating a 28 year old who’s known them since they were 12. Idk. Maybe just maybe. Idk. Porn was a mistake. Momokun is a bitch and I hate her for more than her personality. I don’t know how to end this lmao
No. 1935809
File: 1711168668866.jpeg (235.5 KB, 1136x1136, 0581F395-2226-4F81-A07A-14D51B…)
I’m never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever going to be over her (who I thought she was) am I? I’m going to be painfully pining over a version of someone that doesn’t exist forever aren’t I? Why was she so special? Why did just seeing her change me so much? Why is she still the only one I can think of?
No. 1935817
File: 1711169894707.jpg (70.72 KB, 1125x1113, 9e0c1ad8a2d5d39bf00324c2d6f8db…)
Barely a vent tbh but i cant even stand around the living room without my dad going "what do you want" in a snippy tone. Fuck off you fat retard.
No. 1935861
File: 1711176126668.gif (425.9 KB, 220x220, 1697922009538.gif)
I wish I could be Normal about sex, with men specifically. I really feel like I'm bisexual, but I just want to fucking kill myself. I hate that it feels like such a struggle to be comfortable with men. I hate that when I had sex with a guy, I had to be high on drugs for it. I hate that I felt disgusted looking directly into his eyes. He didn't even put his dick in me, nor did I even look at it. He just gave me oral and fingered me. I feel like some kind of failed woman. Why can't I be like everyone else?
I hate this that this is bothering me so much. I wish I could stop thinking about it.
No. 1935871
File: 1711177966016.jpg (69.79 KB, 680x1020, 1000021671.jpg)
Someone posted sfw shota here and I feel like shit. I used to be into that but I deleted all my pics and left the community that was enabling/encouraging me, but I still wanted to save the pic. I hate that it still gets to me I wish it didn't. Fuck whoever posted that
No. 1935881
>>1935871Just embrace it who the fuck cares. I always keep going back because the other option is
abusive daddy dom retards that want to cage me just like 3DPD.
No. 1935894
File: 1711181250824.jpg (21.82 KB, 720x480, FrBHPeyakAI9ap4.jpg)
I want to fucking scream. My shitty fucking dogshit program at uni has had an ongoing harassment issue with a good dozen kids in my cohort perpetrating it over the last 2 years, and it's fucking bad. Shit like the kids getting together to try (and fail) to fire professors, spread career-ending rumors that the nicest ones are racists/verbally attacking students (completely fabricated), and now it's just gotten to the point of flat-out telling professors to their faces that their lectures are so incoherent that ChatGPT is better somehow. So many are punting deadlines or ignoring instructions on assignments and getting under professors' skin. Rampant entitlement. Our advisor said they just are going to take it out on their marks if they're being toddlers in class because nothing's fixing it, but I worry that's a weird precedent. I hate it. I fucking hate watching the nastiness. I caught some of the petty shit and dropped a class to get away from them, blocked everyone that earned it, but I'm not going to stop seeing these losers for another couple years unless I fully leave. The same piece of shit moid who told me I deserved to get harassed and should drop out and move to another country is now trying to start plagiarism rumors about anyone who does better work than them. It's fucking embarrassing. I can't be around this, I don't want to graduate with this. I want to complain to the dean again since at least it worked once, but I found out recently that none of this, and so much more, ever made it to student conduct. No paperwork, everything that even the chair was doing has been hidden. Now I'm worried about retaliation and all the vocabulary around it sounds a lot more like a fucking Nickelodeon set than a uni, where saying anything bad gets you targeted.
I fucking hate it, fuck these people.
No. 1935895
>>1935891Now that you mention it, it is a bit weird that anime men are completely seperate from irl men but anime boys are the same as irl boys.
Like, lots of yume nonnas cannot stand even a perfect cosplayed version of their husbando because the stench of moid is too much.
People are complicado…
No. 1935898
>>1935892Ghost his ass and never talk to him again. Just do it. He's like a massive anchor weighing you down and keeping you from finding other friend by taking up your mental time and energy.
Imagine you find a nice guy and he finds out you're still talking to your loser ex, he'll be weirded out and see it as a red flag.
No. 1935904
>>1935899Ntayrt but is there no way to draw without using exact references?
Couldn't they just use an adult photo and take the pose, or use one of those 3d asset thingies?
No. 1935976
>>1935972i wish i knew earlier about how women pretty much shaped early coding. It's genuinely so helpful and encouraging, school fails girls big time.
>>1935970thanks
nonny i am not schizo enough to kill myself hoping to be reborn as a man, but it hurts knowing how freedom has been stripped from me before birth. Men live life on easy mode and still complain like they faggots they are. I envy them so fucking much, i would be the person i want to be if i was born with the freedom of men.
No. 1935983
>>1935977i never said women are inferior, i just said that men have all the advantages in the world. They dont get sexualized or raped or made fun of and can easily find niche communities to be part of without being sexpested.
>>1935978i live in a shithole i would rather not try my luck moids here are fucking vile
>>1935979you dont get it. everytime i joined some activity or group i liked, like a pc repair course in hs, i would get sex pested and bullied for being female. I started larping as a man to play videogames because i dont want to get harassed by moids. it just sucks being female, moreso if you are extremely masculine but straight so you dont fit in with the normie straight girls or the lesbians. Its so fucking lonely the only way i can find friends is by larping as a man and pretending i am too esl or poor to afford a microphone so the scrotes dont have to hear my voice.
No. 1936003
>>1935996>>1935997See what i mean. If i were a man i would have gotten understood, but since i am a woman i cant express i hate being female for
valid reasons without people that cant read shitting on me. If i were a moid i would have Dr.K tier male pickmes telling me i am
valid and that moid loneliness is an epidemic. Fuck you, you incosiderate fags are the reason it sucks being female. Now i understand why so many women troon out. I cant even complain about how being sexualized sucks without being shit on.
No. 1936006
File: 1711194185706.gif (862.29 KB, 244x230, wink.gif)
>>1935817Add laxative to his food everytime he behaves badly. It will train him unconsciously.
No. 1936011
>>1936009I dont want to go to a college full of scrotes and sadly the career i wanted to pick is dominated by scrtoes. I already got sexually abused before i dont wanna share spaces with scrotes
>>1936008Whats schizo about acknowledging that being female sucks? Or do you enjoy every part of your existence getting sexualized
No. 1936063
File: 1711199952727.jpeg (197.01 KB, 1024x683, IMG_2435.jpeg)
I’ve been thinking about the future lately and realized that that, to me, being a wife and mother feels like slavery. I’m independent and free-spirited, but my boyfriend has these dreams of us living in a nice house with garden and raising kids and i know it’s not how he means it, but i can’t help but see it as him wanting to tame me, chain me to him with responsibilities so I can’t take off and travel when I want. He doesn’t pick up after himself as it is, I do it when I stay at his place (never for more than two months in a row, because again, I love to travel and I have a remote job) but otherwise he’s a slob. I know in these fantasies, he’d still be doing his thing while I take care of children, him and the house. It made me realize just how little there is to gain from marriage when you make your own money. Unfortunately this means that I will have to break up with him eventually, which makes me sad, because we get along very well.
No. 1936079
>>1936019Someone
did have sympathy for you and you called them condescending because they didn’t validate your loser defeatist mind set. This doomer blackpill mindset is just an excuse to make yourself feel better about sitting on your ass and doing nothing and wasting your life. If you want to do that, fine, just be honest about it.
No. 1936253
>>1935963>>1935983>>1935994>>1936003I get you, anon. I'm a programmer by occupation too and men actively tried to push me out of the field and sabotage me but I persisted, yet with huge battle scars and a permanent imposter syndrome implanted in my brain. I don't hate being a woman, but I hate being expected to fulfill the female societal role and being barred from a lot of meaningful things men get to do without fear or judgement. I will never become a programmer lead or create a company making millions of tech money because when it comes to STEM nobody would lay their trust in the arms of a woman. I hate that if I chose to have kids I would have to risk my own physical health and career to do so when a father would come off with minimal damage. I would love to travel alone or go for midnight runs but I'd risk being assaulted at best and raped and killed at worst and there's nothing I can do about it, I can be sober and clothed with multiple layers yet that does nothing to protect myself. That British woman who got raped and strangled to death by that off-duty cop a few years ago was a real blackpill to how cursed our life is.
>>1936010Amen anon, it's not blackpilled or NLOG pickmeism to vent about it because it's just true. I don't hate women at all, quite the opposite, I have deep and unconditional love and respect for all women, but the fact is that being born a woman fucking sucks so much ass and I don't really see any positives to it, not being a violent rape ape doesn't comfort me when violent rape apes rule the world. How are we going to fight against it if we keep denying the problem?
>>1936012They did, only to have some scrote take credit for it all and have the honor of being "co-creator" at best, if mentioned at all. Hedy Lamarr, Katherine Johnson, Vera Rubin, Grace Murray Hopper, Lise Meitner, Chien-Shiung Wu, Rosalind Franklin, the list goes on and the trend persists to this day.
No. 1936308
>>1935045dad filled it for me
yay!
No. 1936337
File: 1711216017559.jpg (287.09 KB, 1500x843, bts-v-dubbed-as-real-life-anim…)
>>1935899i used to have this dilemma until i realized that 3d and 2d are worlds apart and anyone insisting i want to bang kids because i find ciel attractive is nuts, actually. see picrel, one is a cute anime boy, the other is a plastic male
(no kpop) No. 1936343
File: 1711216279447.png (295.98 KB, 732x747, wojak.png)
i saw a twitter post about some piece of shit in china who killed a newborn puppy and left his corpse. the mother dog saw, and cried "for a long time". i think seeing the photo of the mother dog next to the body is what got me. both dogs were clearly loved by one person, or multiple people at that facility. she was one of those small fluffy breeds, no danger to anyone. she probably trusted humans all her life, only for one to show up and commit this fucked up act.
i'm starting to understand why the woman who went on to start PETA euthanized so many animals in the shelter she was employed at. at a certain point, when you've seen too much cruelty, it does look like every potential (or existing) victim is better off dead. it's not right, and the real solution is to try and change how things work so it happens less (hard sell, we even abuse and exploit eachother), but i understand it. i love my pets, but "companion animals" probably shouldn't exist as a concept, or at least it shouldn't be so easy to get a pet (especially a non-spayed/neutered one). humans are too evil. unrestricted breeding culture is also what caused the stray problem, and it keeps the cycle of suffering going.
No. 1936437
God, why is it not men upon whom the brunt of 'looking good' is forced on? The ever-present looming feeling of wondering if you look good, if you look okay. Why aren't men the ones putting time and money into the most ultimately useless beauty rituals? It should've been men feeling insecure over toe hair and how wrinkly their ballsacks are and the color of their natural lips and their eyelashes, and all this stupid fucking bullshit that doesn't matter at all, at all. Getting up hours earlier to make sure their hair is styled just right and taking hours shaving every inch and apologizing whenever they show up somewhere without perfectly hairless bodies, as if their natural existence is shameful. None of that is worth it, it doesn't enrich or fulfill your life in any way at all and it isn't going to matter when you're older. We are bombarded with advertisements to waste our money and our time on this asinine bullshit, thinking up new and innovative ways to make women insecure about being as they are so they can part us with our money. It should've been men waxing their bodies, applying fake lashes, tattooing lip color on themselves while I'd be none the wiser he is doing all this shit as he is presented to me after he has gone through the torture of 'looking good' and I do not care to know what he did to take him there, all I'd see is the final product. I am so tired of it. I saw this video of a young woman getting a fucking pussy rejuvenation facial, and she remarked on how much 'fresher' and 'tighter' her pussy looked after they were done. Girls are gonna be seeing this thinking they need this, they need to make their pussies look better. All for fucking what? Imagine if it was men losing hair over if his lips are too pale or his sack is a little off, if his nail shape is ugly, if his back needs waxing, what blush suits his face, drowning hours into this. I wish that was our reality. Maybe it'll be when companies finally decide they kind of need men's money over this bullshit too and we'll have ball rejuvenation facials. That moid looksmaxxing community is begging for some beauty companies to get their claws in on them with the right marketing.
No. 1936452
>>1936437Its not forced. Fashion
victims and narcissists getting stripped off their money is a good thing.
No. 1936461
>>1936445It's slow but I think as more women are able to live completely independently, the barest things moids offered, shelter, food, whatnot is what a woman can manage herself, she doesn't need him for these things and looks for what else he can offer, which is.. mostly nothing. So you see a lot of women just opt out of dating and marriage. Of course some still shack up with bums. But God, I want to live in the alternate reality where moids didn't fuck things up and they were losing their minds over… not having a perfect ass and not the women.
>>1936452Well, it's not just those women that you've deemed deserving of this, but all women since birth who have to navigate this.