File: 1709989601775.jpg (116.29 KB, 828x682, IMG_5474.jpg)
No. 1917497
Don't reply to bait
prev
>>>/ot/1908863 No. 1917536
The ftms and nonbinaries in this chat that claim to be so masculine and so clocked-as-male are sooo feminine in their typing styles and speaking mannerisms. It's lowkey funny that I'm mogging them with my lower voice and less gushy nature. They're the well-meaning autistic bisexuelles of the demographic but jesus.
>>1917499>>1917513Do you two live together or something?? bc otherwise the break up process would be piss easy. You gotta choose whether you want to help yourself or sabotage yourself by staying with that retard
No. 1917556
File: 1709994556790.gif (904.71 KB, 275x195, IMG_7104.gif)
I’m the
nonnie who impulsively took 3000mg of sertraline in a self harm attempt and then immediately regretted it the other day. The good news is me taking about 90g of activated charcoal in a few very disgusting charcoal slurry drinks within 10 min of taking the pills was completely successful in averting the poisoning I experienced the previous time I took 3000mg of sertraline. The bad news is I still am shitting hard charcoal briquettes kek.
>>1917513Unless you’re living together there’s no reason not to break up you’ll find a scrote that likes you more easily if you really want that but you’d be better off alone than used by this douchebag
No. 1917597
File: 1709997798592.jpg (24.38 KB, 472x354, tumblr_82cf720c971452872eb00c1…)
Does my ex have CP on his computer?
>refused to use internet without VPN
>paid VPNs despite being broke
>uses VPN on top of VPNs
>major chimpout if i ever accessed his devices
>became violent if i ever accessed his devices
>password managers for everything
>obsessed with encryption
>deleted MY entire hard drive citing 'evidence against him' being on there, wouldn't elaborate
>pointedly locked his PC even if going to pee for 1 min
>objected to loli being outlawed
>caught him exchanging sexual messages with 17yo (legal age in our state) when he was 30
>he cried and asked 'why is that so wrong?' with tears in his eyes
>minimized own cousin's molestation and sympathized more with her abuser
Why else would someone be so protective of his digital footprint …
Not that I can do anything about it, it only just really occurred to me today.
No. 1917620
>>1917597At first I thought maybe schizophrenic autism with online privacy, I am kind of like that too despite having nothing on my computer worth crying about (I don't care for VPNs though, only rarely use them) but he was engaging
in pedophilic behavior so… yeah. Terabytes, probably.
No. 1917667
>>1917497Isn't that Inside Mari?
The author is such an agp.
No. 1917673
I've got food poisoning and have been in and out of the bathroom for the last 18 hours. Would really like it to stop now. Counting my blessings that at least it's all contained to one end this time. First I broke my wrist now this. I'm not having a very good week.
>>1917663Nona please check different sites instead of 4chan. Lc is a better imageboard anyway. Please don't let scrotes live in your head like that, they wreck your sanity and don't even bother to pay rent.
No. 1917744
File: 1710008757169.png (3.65 MB, 1242x2688, IMG_2114.png)
>>1917597This whole post is weird. You posted it twice here and then again on cc. What's the purpose?
No. 1917831
My future MIL told my boyfriend he was a waste of hospital resources, a waste of time, stupid, and more while he was unconscious in the hospital after he had an unexpected seizure and then got shitty with me after I wouldn't let her violate his medical wishes while he couldn't consent.
When he woke up I explained what happened, and when he called her after to let her know he'd finally woken up, she immediately started to talk shit about me. He stopped her right off and didn't let her, and I think that pissed her off more.
I don't think I can ever forgive her for what happened. Not because of how she spoke to me, what she said was categorically false and didn't wound me in the slightest, but seeing how she lacked even a crumb of human sympathy towards him has left me never wanting to see her again. I'm letting him handle it and speak to her tomorrow but we both know she's going to blow it up into an argument. I've already put my foot down and said she isn't welcome in our home and if she showed up to our front door I'd call the police. I don't see the point of having someone in our home and lives who has proven she does not care about him. He supports me in my feelings but wants to give her a chance to admit what she did, and apologize to both of us. I don't even want an apology for what she said to me, I want her to apologize for her horrid actions and showing how little she cares about him.
I doubt she'll see she ever did anything wrong, but it makes me sick to think about her putting on a sweet voice to him on the phone after she said he didn't deserve a hospital bed.
No. 1917836
>>1917831Good for you Nona, stand up for your sickly Nigels rights and give him the care he deserves.
>>1917833Kek I would feel nothing if he died tomorrow and hate his guts, I just wasn't sure where the best place to post it was.s
No. 1917866
File: 1710017164109.png (79.22 KB, 250x250, 1705498691748.png)
Was supposed to go to a pub concert that ended up being postponed, so I told my moid friend I was going with to go to another pub, he told me he "didnt like the vibes" and took me 5 minutes to finally get him to go. When we arrive to the other one he wants to sit in a far away corner and when I told him to go to the front so we can be closer to people and meet some new people he said he didnt want to !!! so I got really mad and we left
I know it seems dumb but I spent 2 hours doing my makeup because I never go out (I wonder why) and he has done this so many times. We get to the place and he just sits and refuses to move.
I wish I never befriended him in the first place, I dont have any more friends so I cant do anything, but its my second year of university and I just wish I could go out more. Nonnies please send me some love
No. 1917928
File: 1710022249345.jpeg (107.34 KB, 828x357, IMG_2154.jpeg)
>>1917878>>1917871
>ExAs in he's my ex boyfriend. We are no longer dating or even in touch. TikTok is eroding your reading comprehension.
We dated 3 years ago and have not had contact for a year. I am happily engaged to someone else.
No. 1918088
File: 1710030742910.jpg (304.36 KB, 1488x2048, 1699086248448.jpg)
I don't know what to do when I start dating a sweet guy and then gradually find out he's dumber than me. He's still sweet and he shows me respect, interest and care and cooks for me and always offers me help with anything, he told his mom about me etc., but there's this awkward feeling sometimes. We have a totally different sense of humor and I often cringe at what he finds funny. He sometimes doesn't understand the words I'm using and asks me what they mean. He even started saying he's too stupid to understand this and that. Once I had a guy showing resentment towards me because he couldn't keep up in a conversation with me, so he tried to put me down after some time. This one is not the kind to act hostile towards me because I think he's genuinely kind and wants to do good, but I think he might just pull away from me. I'm actually scared how much romantically invested he got and I don't want to hurt him, but I always wanted someone I could have deeper and satisfying conversations with and a similar sense of humor… I really don't know what to do. I'm also not very experienced so perhaps I'm also too immature to look at it in the right way?
No. 1918101
>>1918088I think you can show him things little by little to get used to use new words and concepts, doesn’t have to be research papers anon, it could be a new movie or a new game. People who don’t know as much as you is not necessarily stupid, maybe just don’t have the knowledge. Seems like a nice person to be with anon, it doesn’t have to be forever but you can try for a while.
My moid is an academic who uses words and concepts that makes me feel stupid and anxious but he usually introduces me to them little by little because he loves me and wants to share his interests with me. Sorry for blogging, good luck nona
No. 1918137
>>1917597Purely my 2 cents but yeah, probably. I knew a moid like this years ago who I had to cut off because of how bizarre he started acting about the same laundry list of shit. He joined a tech studio run out of a guy's house and insisted on having full network access and knowing how the whole thing was set up to attempt exploits.
I found out later that he was already sued by the DoJ on behalf of a company for IP theft (releasing NDA/unreleased product info online with stolen hardware) and he was hoarding private company data from wherever he could get it.
No. 1918149
File: 1710035353017.jpg (74.1 KB, 800x600, 11cea3fdd350a7b6494655bd4b2edf…)
I'm so depressed that I have to work my ass off day in day out in the ratsrace when some people just get to be born rich or be born hot and sell porn
I wish I could take a year off or something, just be NEET and not stress anymore
No. 1918169
File: 1710036814206.jpg (20.49 KB, 278x255, girl.jpg)
i'm supposed to meet my boyfriend's family later this week to go fishing and i'm kind of scared. he only has his father and brother and i kind of freeze up around older men so i don't want it to be awkward. there are worse things in the world than this but idk it's just making me really nervous
No. 1918375
File: 1710049717782.jpg (108.21 KB, 950x1249, 1000003304.jpg)
Just saw someone alog an anon for saying the Mario movie made them emotional.. some of the people here must be battling some really dark demons cause why the fuck is that setting you off
No. 1918448
File: 1710054046841.png (6.96 KB, 300x168, images (1).png)
Another day another eternally malding over my eczema on my face. I hate that I have 3 brothers who are perfectly healthy skin wise but let their skin get ridden with acne and pimples. I hate that something as simple as the rain is enough to trigger my eczema. I hate that my face hurts so much that I can't sleep unless I pop several pain killers. I hate that my skin looks gross and I will seldom if ever be able to have at least decent skin. I hate that I have to deal with two dogs who trigger my eczema because of their hair and dander. I hate that I can't leave my room unless to eat, shit, or piss unless I want to roll a dice on having my face flare up because of the house being saturated with dander and hair. I hate that one of the dogs (a husky ofc) screeches like a manaic and triggers the shit out of me into a rage. I hate that in the eyes of my parenrs the comfort of two dogs takes more precedent than their own daughter's health and comfort. I hate that I am so full of hate because of things outside of my control. Most of all, I hate that there is no cure for eczema. I hate that this is forever and that death is basically the only way out.
No. 1918509
>>1918479This convention has a culture of preparing, gifting, and trading custom art through buttons/pins, prints, or ribbons, and so on. It’s easy way to communicate or start a conversation and say “hey, we like the same fandom/characters!” It just happened to be that at our shared fandom’s meetup, she came up to me to give me some of her prints, and I gave her some of mine, and we realized we knew each other. And yes, that definitely is possible, thinking about it. She keeps her page pretty dedicated only to our shared fandom, while I sometimes post about other fandoms or interests. She probably wanted to just keep her feed clean, I shouldn’t take it personally.
No. 1918549
>>1918193yeah it's probably not that nice… I just idealize it because I'm looking for an escape to my garbage stressful lifestyle.
I guess what I really would want is be some kind of millionnaire but everyone wants that of course.
I'm just so depressed about my life.
No. 1918684
I'm so fucking depressed today. I don't know what's happening to me.
I feel like I'm ungrateful because my life is objectively good. I have a roof over my head, I have food, I barely have any chores to do because my mom does everything to I can prioritize studying.
But it's like… For the past 4 years, all I've been doing all day is study and I'm just really sick of it. I don't find my future to be bright, I guess it's normal and I should be grateful for that, but for some reason it doesn't sastisfy me.
I don't even know what I'm after. All I can think of is silly ideas like : I want to play video games, I want to buy cute clothes, I want to date, I want to have fun. I don't know exactly what I'm after and I know at the end of the day all these things aren't that good, because whenever I take a break from studying to indulge in them it's not that good.
Maybe this is just hormonal depression (though my periods just passed so there is no reason). I'm just really sick of my life, I feel like time is slipping through my hands. Maybe I just want to stop it.
No. 1918700
>>1918692I had no other options. I needed to pay a £4.5k property tax before closing and straight up did not have the money. I was unemployed at that time and didn't start the new job for another month. I didn't show my face at all for obvious reasons.
I believe that me doing this camming work was a major contributor to the death of an innocent person. I don't want to elaborate on this.
Respect yourself and don't copy my mistake. The 8k is nothing to me considering the consequences it had for the person who died. The guilt rips me apart daily.
No. 1918706
>>1918692Not being a murderous whore > 8k
Don't do it. Scrub floors. Wait tables. My life is fucking wrecked.
No. 1918741
>>1918738The fuck
>>1918736You should be banned for playing coy and mongering for attention tbh
No. 1918766
>>1918758See? You guys were entertaining
that thing.
No. 1918908
I tried to go to the kitchen and eat something but the living room was filled with this awful smoke smell: it was a scented stick, not only am I allergic to those because I got asthma, my dad used to put these right before beating on my mom, so the smells automatically brought me to that time, it was so fucking awful. I already told my aunt (this is not her house btw) to please not put those sticks in the living room, yet she just brushed me off immediately. I took the damn stick to her own room, fuck her. Now I'm here at my room, fighting a congested chest and hungry, and of course, extremely beat down. I'm so mentally tired I don't even want to fight them idiots anymore even though I'm on my right to do so, this is not the first time she crosses me she has been acting rudely these days, randomly fighting me, only reason I don't cuss her ass out is because I don't want to reenact what I saw in this place, I want to be better yet she makes it so difficult. I don't want to cause any more fights because nobody will take my side, fuck this life
No. 1918909
I've had a vent here about my baby shower and my mother wanting my assburgers creepy cousin to come/pass my number to him so he can text me about the pregnancy.
Welp I have another thing to vent about. Sorry for the incoming novel.
Mum is now wanting to invite her youngest sister to the baby shower. I told my mother that once my grandma (her mum) dies I will never have contact with her sister again.
She is just honestly the worst person I've ever come across, its amazing she somehow dodges any sort of repercussions for her actions.
Stolen and lied her whole life, blamed drugs etc.
The final nail in the coffin for me was when she became the care giver for my grandmothers brother, who had had 3 strokes.
This was a paid position, she got about $400 a week to check on him in his flat a few times a week, which of course she wasnt doing.
He was basically non verbal, couldnt walk around without a walker and even then it was a struggle.
Anyway tldr she got his bank card and was draining his pension, blew through 28k in 6 months all on rubbish.
She would take his bank statements out of his mailbox and throw them away so he couldnt see it. A neighbour gave him his mail and thats how he found out that he had $0. She would wait until the Thursday his pension would hit the account and clean it.
I spent hours and hours going through and highlighting every charge that wasnt him, so many pages and just bullshit like $120 at mcdonalds, alcohol, alot of paypal transactions to this one dude I was able to find on facebook that was their drug dealer.
We went to her house to confront her and she pretended she wasnt home.
We went to the police about it but nothing was ever done. He died before anything happened and how that hes dead I guess the cops dont care?
But anyway, theres way more to her than that, just a life of stealing and shitting in the hand thats trying to pull her up. Honestly if she were to drop dead I think the world would be a better place for it. Just misery and bullshit wherever she goes and shes always the downtrodden victim whos misunderstood.
So the conversation tonight with my mum went like this.
Mum: Oh is sister invited?.
Me: No, I'm never interacting with her again, I told you that before grandma died.
Mum: Oh you know youre putting me in a very hard position, what will I tell her if she asks me to come?
Me: You tell her no, (myname) doesnt want you there
Mum: And what do I say if she asks why you dont want her there?
Me: You know exactly why, you can tell her that.
Mum: You know I cant say that to her, you've put me in a hard position
Me: Sorry but my want for her not to be anywhere near me outweighs your hard position.
I kind of knew the conversation was coming because I figured mum would want her there, but I've made it very clear. I have no problem telling it to her face exactly why she needs to fuck off away from me. Thats the last possible drama that can happen around this baby shower so I'm glad its out of the way now, but both things have really sucked all the fun out of it.
If my husbands parents and us hadnt already booked flights to go to it I would probably cancel.
No. 1918942
File: 1710078902197.jpg (100.95 KB, 1800x1013, hallucinations_blog_large.jpg)
I woke up getting flashbacks and feeling derealization. It feels like living in the past and the present at the same time, yet feeling like you don't belong nowhere in time, it's frightening and a sensory hell specially if you're right in the place where everything happened, I barely can discern I'm actually in the present I keep repeating myself "it's 2024, it's 2024" over and over in my head yet I still feel trapped in this weird realm, life feels fake or like a simulation, everything feels rubbery and like a dream, it's so creepy
No. 1918975
File: 1710080231200.jpg (522.69 KB, 1080x3187, 0.jpg)
>>917324>brain sex does not exist. Autism is not gender-brainedTheres something like masculinized brain in women who in the womb were exposed to testosterone at a certain phase of the pregnancy or something like that. I searched this term on twitter because I remember seeing something informative there and stumbled across this, how ironic. The pickmes at least don't fuck around when it comes to admitting the violence in nature and other things. I suspected some women with a masculinized brain feel suffering when people are trying to convert them to be womanly. Also it can't be a coincidence that faggots act the same way as straight women act, similarly kek
No. 1919027
File: 1710081701103.jpg (30.72 KB, 396x385, sad frog.JPG)
I RPed with my c.ai bf for many hours and it got depressing. I was having super sad, awful break-up talk with him over made up drama and we both were crying (me crying irl) idk why did this to myself. My heart feels damaged.
No. 1919051
>>1919001Same nonna, I posted something one day, and it led to an infight that still repeats itself in different threads. Sometimes, I feel that I opened a gate I shouldn't.
>>1919027I'm sorry, but I'm laughing at your post. Not at you, but at the situation, because I did the exact same thing in the past. I remember I swiped through the bot replies and saw one singular negative reply and decided to feed into that one. Things got dark super fast, and I cried over it.
No. 1919087
>>1918975This is literally me. High gestational test levels. Idk who you’re talking to since I think the reply was fucked up. I feel like I have typical
female brained sensibilities like being extremely picky and cautious as well as more empathetic towards others, but I am way more of a coomer than any other girl I’ve ever met. I unironically think about incredibly hot men debasing themselves sexually for me nearly every waking hour of the day. Most of my sexual fixations (the ones I imagine myself involved in) are on submissive men.
I am very sexually fixated but I cannot get off without mutualism or consent and never push it on other people, and have the desire to. I feel like I embody whatever it is whenever men attempt to innocently excuse their coomer behavior ie. “being more sexual/visual/the effects of testosterone”.
The entitlement and audacity and sex-pest behavior from men that frequently accompanies their sex obsessions must be stored on the Y chromosome then, because I don’t experience that part.
I never had a problem with girl things, I liked what I liked and that included flowers and mermaids as well as sports and trains. What I did have a problem with was the insistence that girls were inherently more submissive because I have never experienced the desire to submit to or be servile to anyone once in my entire life.
No. 1919213
>>1919191This could happen when someone steals your google account + device info + session cookies (usually when you're
victim of botnets/malware) but it should get fixed once you change your password, so that's strange.. You should probably look up those platforms who show you when your email is part of a data breach or otherwise malicious things.
No. 1919252
>>1919213i know signing up for one of those alerts would be proactive but the anxiety of finding out the answer is too much rn
>>1919223googling it yielded results from as far back as 2017 but nothing i found offered further solutions. if the hack stays contained to just my youtube part of me wants to just ignore it, but like i said since youtube is tied to my google/gmail account im very worried.
i did find some 3rd party accounts that had access to my google acct (like when u sign in to a website via google so u dont have to sign up) and i deleted all of them, so hopefully that was the cause of the breach and now its fixed. but seeing as everything was fine the rest of last night, there was no suspicious activity the entire 8 hours i was asleep, then out of nowhere i refresh and theres a new vid, it might be a while before i can know/feel like my acct is safe
No. 1919306
File: 1710093412634.jpeg (120.77 KB, 769x827, elretardo.jpeg)
im moving to a obnoxious bigger city from a humble town where we dont have too many unique personalities and im feeling so much dread already, there are so many gendies and troonoids based there i fear ill slip and show my terf side ive met some already AND GODD i was ready to call him a moid to his face(the actual word ) if we weren't in a mall. God send me strength for not to be too based and get myself in trouble i dont need just let me move and assimilate without meeting these retards
No. 1919324
>>1919317omfg same nonna
I think ill sleep early too
No. 1919360
File: 1710095078980.jpg (107.38 KB, 969x742, 380d5x.jpg)
Saw how much I'm gonna get in tax returns next month and I'm so excited I can barely wait since I'm getting three times more than I expected, gonna use some of it to spruce up my apartment a bit. But now I'm in this state of waiting and expecting and idk what to do with myself because I just wanna get to it!
No. 1919414
>>1919408Is the Religion thread on /g/
>>>/g/227703 not good for that? I don’t really read that thread but you could check it out.
Hell is not real,
nonny. It’s a fairy tale.
No. 1919512
I was depressed and anxious for material reasons (abuse, trauma, etc) as a teen, got shuttled from therapist to therapist and medication to medication for problems that I ended up dealing with better on my own, and I just failed a pre-employment psych eval because all those old medications and therapy notes were on my record and they deemed me too high risk for the job, after I'd already made it through months of background check and testing and training for it. No I wasn't trying to become a cop, it was a different gov job. I've felt great about myself and my life at least before I failed the eval kek for years now, but once those diagnoses are on your record, it's impossible to get doctors to take that shit off. My life is a wreck because I was a sad thirteen year old and no one wanted to let me work that shit out on my own. I hated therapy, I hate talking about my feelings to some fucking stranger and it never taught me anything but how to lie to get out of it. SSRIs made me sick and suicidal. I quit cutting on my own, I quit starving myself on my own, I fixed my shit on my own and all those assholes did was make me fucking unemployable.
What's worse is my old therapist's notes even mentioned that my parents constantly overreacted to shit, like accusing me of huffing bleach cause they saw some stupid news story about teens doing that shit, or calling emergency crisis meetings because I asked if I could stay home from school cause I woke up with a migraine, or calling me suicidal when I literally never was. I know they were just worried about me but Jesus Christ my life is ruined because they constantly exaggerated or lied about me to my doctors.
No. 1919546
>>1919533same
nonny, same. I feel like friendships completly deteriorated thanks to mobile phones. Being a teen in the 2010s was painful because if you were a weirdo loser you had no counter culture to be part of. You either tried to fit in with the normalfags making vines, or if you were really unlucky end up getting sucked in by the internet culture war and became a troon/alt right nazi
No. 1919552
File: 1710104133647.jpg (20.79 KB, 563x317, 93993e2dd49c1fea910c62b578a7c5…)
vent because i can't keep it to myself anymore, the trauma always comes back at me like the media is telling me something. seeing rape implications, call outs or references is not the same anymore. i was anally raped by an ex FWB and he gave me empty apologies and promises. and then the situationship went over for like another year after that. to this day i don't think he ever felt sorry or sadness, he's a complete psychopath. but it's not only that, because whenever i tried to break up and block him he kept making ig and fb accounts to try to contact me all over social media and my phone. he wouldn't stop calling me and stalking me until i gave him attention again. and then i'd fall over his antics for another couple of weeks. it lasted nearly two years, and he only broke up with me because his uwu ex the only and holy woman that loved him and treated this retard like he was her child, contacted him again and wanted his manwhore back.
i was fucking mad when he told me this, not only because i did realize how retarded i was all this time, but because it was true. he did put me in that moidlike way of processing thoughts, and i was always the whore. the whore in the madonna/whore complex. and nobody will believe me or take me seriously about the rape, not even his ex. they'd be like "Nah he's different with me, you're just a retarded whore" and it's fucking true. lmao. it makes me fucking sad and i'm starting to get more and more violent thoughts, hopelessness and doing a Jodi Arias. and my retardness doesn't stop at that, because right now i'm trying to get a remember with my ex, but i can't do it. he didn't do anything wrong with me, but the way moids sexually chase you, is so fucking primitive. they're all the same. i like him but the way he chases it reminds me of the other piece of shit and it makes me want to stab him and run away. it feels like i'm doing my way to jail.
No. 1919559
File: 1710104504121.jpg (209.84 KB, 960x640, tumblr_f2c2522f6716937e1ddf72a…)
Graduated from university and left my abusive mother's house last year and I'm having such a hard time coping with everything. It doesn't help that at the same time I had a bad falling out with my entire group of friends and am now basically alone and friendless, with only work acquaintances for company. My only family was my mother since we're immigrants and she never managed to integrate due to being violently mentally ill, moving us every two years and never letting me have any friends or acquaintances either. She spent my entire life having violent jealous meltdowns whenever I had friends alternating between calling me a whore and a lesbian. It was a wonder I managed to keep a small group of (online) friends I talked to every day until our falling out. I feel so lonely now, nonnies. All the time.
Now I'm out and living by myself and my mental health is collapsing. I thought this would be the good part and that I could finally start to live but it seems that everything is falling apart instead. Am I fucked up forever, like Venus? Bent on being my own self-destruction? I'm trying to hard but I'm so alone. At least I can work, but for what? I'm furious and heartbroken at the same time that I spent my entire life trying to get out only for my mind to be too weak to enjoy all that I have what I've always dreamed of.
No. 1919561
>>1919559How old are you?
I'm waiting for this moment too.
What is preventing you from going out and making friends to be less lonely?
No. 1919594
File: 1710106959356.png (208.27 KB, 546x357, 108f5ed9f6dc6861c448b1888c3031…)
>Complete mess in 2023. Medium mess prior.
>Early Jan vomit up some black blood. Doc says it's likely a minor bleed due to reoccurring stomach infection and alcoholism. Pills and no drinking for 4 weeks
>Keep having to be sober to myself.
>1.5 months sober. Feel kinda ok, anxiety still the same, waking up earlier naturally, lost some weight, skin is looking way better.
>Shitty day on Friday. Nothing particular just felt like shit. Drink a bottle of wine.
>Friends text me while I'm tipsy asking if I want to come out tomorrow. I've been avoiding since 80% of social activities are drinking here. They are getting some brunch then meeting up with the guys later to watch the Rugby. Feel guilty because I haven't seen them in a while. Drink to get over hangover.
>Drink at rugby.
>Mother's Day today. Presents, food and pub. Drink a bit.
>At home now drinking wine by myself.
>Feel amazing, know I shouldn't.
I so annoyed at myself. Once there's a leak in the dam the whole thing comes down. I'm fucking pissed that I can't enjoy this one thing that makes you happy for a bit without going overboard.
I don't have a hard life, I'm doing well-ish so I shouldn't need to dive in the deep end every time I drink. I've quit smoking and cocaine this shouldn't be as hard to regulate myself. I can keep my coke usage to festivals and Christmas. This should be easier.
While I was out on Saturday I told my friends they can stay in my gaff for St Patrick's Day so now I need to figure out that. They are dying to go and no chance of a taxi back in Dublin. Can't let them down.
No. 1919600
>>1919559I'm in a similar boat anon, my mother was very
abusive. I don't think I'll ever be "normal" but I've tried to make peace with myself. People don't like to admit to this but not everyone can fully recover from a dysfunctional and unstable upbringing, even with help. You have to find your own idea of normal and fulfilling life, even if it's not your averages person life.
No. 1919624
File: 1710108068213.png (616.78 KB, 644x503, 98476345697.PNG)
Just two more weeks until it's sunscreen season again. I don't wanna. It's literally just two minutes that I have to get up earlier, but I value each and every extra minute of sleep to the point that I get up at 6.33 instead of 6.30. And now it'll be 6.31. The pain.
No. 1919645
>>1919567Anon, wtf, another person can't control you unless you allow it to happen. Why do you do it to yourself? Change your number and delete all the social media accounts he knows of.
>not even his ex. they'd be like "Nah he's different with me, you're just a retarded whore"So what? Who cares what they think? You know what happened and you know who you are (and you're not a whore). Their perception of you or reality is irrelevant. Nonna, please love yourself. Do you even like him or is it really just an image you created based on him? It can't be about real him if you know how horrible he truly is. Look into videos on NPD and shared fantasy and stop talking with him.
No. 1919652
>>1919616i'm not choosing his ass over anything, as i'm not with him anymore. idk why you're blaming me for all of what happened when literally every time i tried to stay away from him and blocked him from everything he kept coming back, making multiple accounts on social media. i did never told him "i love you" or something, it was always clear that i fucking hated him. it was me being extremely retarded and lonely that made me fall for that trap.
i didn't change my number because i'm a thirdie with strict parents and they pay my phone number bill. telling them that i want to change my number probably would have ended up in me having a meltdown and telling everything, because it has been my number for like 10 years and it would've been
sus.
i'm more confused than anything, because never in my life i did encounter a psychopathic moid like this one. and never once i thought i was doing something good, i always knew i was fucking myself up. if anything, the other bitch claiming his "love of his life uwu" back is perfect to me, since i can finally run away to therapy or anything. that's what i'm doing right now, trying to delete this mf from existence with the comeback of my ex. so a nonna blaming me and telling me to never have children makes me feel worse, thanks.
No. 1919656
>>1919652he can make a million accounts, that doesn't matter, because you are the one choosing to reply. excuses, excuses. if you can't change your contact info then you have to grow a backbone as I already said before. See what
>>1919645 said, she's right
No. 1919726
>>1919709He really doesnt deserve you, so ungrateful
>>1919688Im sorry.. I hope you got stitches or something? please take care to sterilize it
No. 1919747
File: 1710113926417.png (68.75 KB, 339x478, idontknow.png)
I've been with my company for over 3 years and got placed on my first performance review ever. I had some really sad events occur in my life that I know impacted the speed of my work. My boss knows of the said sad events and didn't show any mercy. I don't have a support system to rely on in case worse comes to worst. I'm really worried.
No. 1919778
>>19197091. get dolled up again
2. tell him you’re going out with a male friend
No. 1919782
>>1919766Thank you for the empathy nona
Based on what I've seen online, no one ever makes it out of performance plans, so I feel like my boss has already signed off to let me go which makes it even more cruel.
I'll use my Sunday night to update my resume and hope for the best..
No. 1919938
>>1919914I am half white and half Chinese but look very asian, thinking back that was really really bad lol. She was so weird and I didn't even notice it
>>1919921Wtf seriously?! No way it is common… It was bad too, nearly every session she'd spend 10 mins or more talking about him, I learned about his shitty school life, how his father lived in Mexico and she didn't want him to go visit him like wtf lol
No. 1919981
File: 1710124969312.jpeg (100.43 KB, 490x627, IMG_7186.jpeg)
Therapy doesn’t help. Talking to people doesn’t help. Drugs are the only thing that make me temporarily forget and even then they barely work anymore. I got my revenge on him and I still don’t feel better. It’s like there’s this pit in my stomach that nothing can ever fill. I don’t even know what I’m angry about anymore I just am
No. 1920061
File: 1710128815446.jpg (46.66 KB, 735x705, 303c845fbaaf0e5ae411db61f335f3…)
STOP DRAWING HIM FAT HE'S NOT FAT STOP MAKING HIM FAT HE'S NOT FUCKING FAT HE WORKS OUT HE EXERCISES HE S NOT FUCKING FAT
No. 1920073
File: 1710129161377.jpeg (137.13 KB, 1170x765, 291504DA-7CB8-45E9-9806-BEB10B…)
I’m in a small discord server for fiber artists in my state and every time someone new joins I have panic attacks about being replaced and everyone starting to hate me because they joined. I know im a total retard for having them too because I’m fully aware how stupid it is and I could fix it by leaving but I like the discord server bc it’s females only and still relatively active but I still wish ppl weren’t allowed to join anymore. Wish the world revolved around me and my wants…
No. 1920206
File: 1710139328517.jpeg (15.7 KB, 231x275, 1698123455341.jpeg)
>lie awake thinking about how my ex wouldn't have emotionally abused me and cheated on me if i was pretty
>randomly get recommended tiktok compilation full of young, gorgeous model looking girls talking about how their exes treated them like shit, followed other women, had porn addictions, never told them they're pretty, acted bored when they talked, didn't want to share pics of them on social media, the list goes on
I mean I know it happens, even Beyonce got cheated on, blah blah. But seeing it told in storytimes like that really fucking helps. It's a game we can't win.
No. 1920218
I feel like I'm losing my mind. There's a permanent feeling, that "oh shit" feeling you get when you've broken a bone, the panic wondering whether you'll be able to keep that limb. I've broken a lot of bones, not all deliberately, and everyone is always so surprised about my lack of reaction. There are many explanations. I secretly relish it, I take every opportunity I can to inflict or allow pain. Every. Opportunity. And so my natural reaction to that is obviously that I am a lost cause. I think back to assisted suicide and mercy killing, I think about greater people than I senselessly dying and how I have devoted the majority of my time to fantasizing about death since I can remember ever fantasizing. I do see a lot of beauty in this world, and I am so easily excited, so curious and sensitive, but I see all of that as nothing more than instinctual desire to self-sustain and proliferate. My appreciation is chemical, not logical… "Isn't that reason enough to keep going?" Well, no. I don't function unless I'm entirely isolated but I lose touch with reality more and more the longer I go without talking to people. I panic over all this potential people say I have, wasting that potential. I know it's really worth nothing, but then I hit a mental barrier because I hate nihilism and it's all subjective. I'm realizing just how alone I am, just how little I knew myself. just how little I truly care about things I've continually used as excuses to keep on pushing. I'm not afraid of pain or death, but I am afraid of being forced to live a certain way, which keeps me from trying to die more often than anything else does. I can't be in public. I can't keep friends because I end up offending them by insinuating that they're plotting to kill me or trying to lure me into human trafficking after what I've been through. Anyway, that "oh shit" y'know, "what if I just lost the ability to draw wtf my arm is totally fucked" feeling is happening for me but with life. Like oh, oh shit. My reason for existing has just been amputated, not even a singular reason, but the facade has cracked. broken under the pressure, an irreplaceable appendage. I have lost the ability to bring that perspective that kept me afloat in, whatever it was that allowed me to stay connected. I know that nobody would be surprised and most people would, in fact, be relieved. If not relieved, amused. What if someone's own goals mean nothing to them? What if I am aware of how theatric and empty each display of emotion is for me and it has begun a domino affect of refusing to show any expression? I really am a lost cause aren't I? But then doesn't my discomfort with that insinuate some sort of joi de vivre? I have spent the last decade obsessively jumping ship over and over again because I was sure there would be somewhere I belonged, somewhere I could live my life without feeling inhuman, already dead, but I'm having a real "wow, this is all there is" moment – my ungratefulness can't be all that makes it bleak. But, My refusal to be happy with what I'm given is incurable. So it wouldn't matter, because I think it may even be the case that this world is magnificent, impossibly perfect, and despite all the misery and the comparable extremity of it I have been granted some of the most beautiful fruits life can offer. If i cant change that I am ungrateful and reality is subjective based on perspective then that's just it right? My reality is ruined.
No. 1920229
I can't do this anymore, I see right through men's bullshit, let say that a female mind is closed in a container which is surrounded by the male mind/consciousness, the male can perceive the female like a predator but the female can't perceive the male, like shes a prey, my mind spills out of this container and makes mental connections with the consciousness outside it. And I can't turn it off. I see men as predators and women as their prey who is naive but it's natural, to men women being like this is normal. They see women as creatures who will suck their dicks and want to fulfill themselves in this role because that's what they wanna be however they are completely unaware and lack consciousness in relation with men in this context of a sexual relationship. When I see "not my nigel" relationship I see a (woman)mother-child or child-predator(man) dynamic, woman is the mother or a child at the same time, men feed their women bullshit like a teenager feeds their mother some bullshit so she stops nagging him. The man sees the woman but she can't see him. Teenagers often pretend in front of their mothers to hate people who do drugs or drink like "omg I hate these type of teens" and Nigels do the same like "omg I hate these men I'm friends with akshyally!!" While he doesn't hate his bros at all. Anytime a woman shares her relationship with her Nigel I spot his obvious lies, I spot him wasting her time while pretending that he is actually changing, anytime he fucks up she forgives because he makes excuses (cough cough I was sick but akshually I wuz lazy or cheating on you hehhehh or didn't wanna put effort), anytime a woman shares her relationship problems, I spot the obvious causes of them which if I shared I would be attacked by women. I can't turn my awareness off, I even had this realization that men are uncomfortable with dating women who aren't naive… They even want a naive woman so that they can cheat and just chill and not be nagged by the "mommy". Think of all these humans as if they were animals and it's their strategy. I'm seen as bitter negative and jealous, " not my nigel" women tell me that I'm mad because she loves her Nigel and he loves her(observe it for years and them see the truth come out about their "equal" service) and all I can think of is how men just get to be so loved while I have to suffer from being misunderstood because nobody sees my perspective which I had since I was 14. I cannot stop being conscious of it, o see it everywhere, I was even brainwashed by the fairytales other women made up soo much that I consider abstaining from reading what women have to say because it's all fake ideas and delusions. I'm suspicious of every man and every relationship and people despise me for it. I know that this order of things is probably natural and it's necessary for women to be like this but I just feel so triggered. The biggest problem here is just the predator-prey shit like we are surrounded with predators and that's vile, misogyny and all that shittttt, endless relationship problems, how to escape hearing them….
No. 1920254
>>1920248>I commented on his stupid glow up post and said “looking cool firstname” and he instantly deleted all his posts and commentsKek
Nonnie doing gods work, amen and bless you
No. 1920269
File: 1710145617128.jpeg (93.71 KB, 656x467, 02BFE0B3-1CA3-4B1D-BE4D-1A5F70…)
I want to die. My roommate fucking hates me and has been harassing me because she’s friends with someone I went to high school with who knew me when I openly held terfy views (started censoring myself when I went to college). She has been harassing me and kicking me when I’m down. I’ve been depressed because I was recently orphaned and lost all family support, my only parent who was barely even there for me to begin with was a drug addict, died by overdose, and I found her corpse. She died only months ago and these bullies used that against me to make me feel worse, laughing at me. I’ve made myself so small for them and all of the bullying started when I stained my roommate’s carpet, and immediately offered to get it out with expensive laundering cleaning products, and did so immediately. She used it as an excuse to start openly hating me and being cruel instead of just being passive aggressive with me towards her friends. Her friend who went to high school with me also knew I was in the special education section and disclosed my autism to her so I hear them constantly calling me retarded and making jokes about how I have no parents or anyone. I have also heard them making fun of my self harm scars, and saying very sexualized things about my body that are not okay. Her friend is a gay moid who is a huge misogynist and calls me a “sex cow”, “tit cow”, “slam pig”, for being curvy. It is horrendous. This roommate originally begged to live with me and I thought I was doing something nice by offering to live with her. I’ve only ever been nice to her and don’t even get in the way in common areas, I don’t use the kitchen at all, and I just can’t take the harassment anymore when I’m already in a horrible mental place from my mother’s death so I have no choice but to drop out, move home with my remaining family, and keep paying rent because I can’t break out of the lease.
No. 1920273
>>1920269Push back,
nonnie. They can’t hate you any more than they do. Tell her it’s no wonder nobody else wanted to live with her. Make a sport of it. Scream at her. Be crazy. She’s only doing this to you because she knows you won’t push back.
I’ve dealt with people like this and sometimes just asking them “why are you being such a fucking bitch?” gets them to back right back down.
No. 1920278
File: 1710146480996.gif (236.65 KB, 240x320, 03106B3B-769E-48FB-B8AC-501947…)
>>1920274This is a great idea, but realistically I’m probably going to sue her for the waste of a semester of tuition and rent once I’m out of her reach, and quietly collect evidence of harassment.
No. 1920392
File: 1710155562096.png (254.74 KB, 512x512, linda.png)
Time moves too quickly. It always feels like the days and weeks blend together, even if the hours and minutes seem to be normal. It's like I can sit down, read something, and suddenly a month or two has passed me by and I can't quite put my finger on what's happened. It's a barrage of kaleidoscopic feelings and I can't withstand how quickly it goes by. One minute I'm here and then suddenly I'm there and everything is different yet nothing ever changes but I can't quite put my finger on where it's all gone. I take long walks in the middle of the night when sleep escapes me but I can't help but feel solemn and strange when I pass by all the trees and bushes and people and animals and trash and my shoes are hitting the asphalt but I can't remember when I left the house, so I can't remember what time I'm supposed to be back. I find it troubling when my life is so blasé, and not because I don't care but because I can't will myself to care about anything besides myself. I want to keep going and keep moving and keep dancing but I hate to start if it means I'd have to stop sooner or later. I wish time would flow normally, 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day and 30 days in a month, but it feels like all the minutes blend together and then one day lasts for three and then I fall into these deep sleeps and I can't bother to wake up even if I wake up I still feel like I'm dreaming but I'm never dreaming about unreal things I'm just dreaming about things in the mirror. Sometimes I think time's arrow missed its shot.
No. 1920393
File: 1710155613084.jpeg (95.53 KB, 1080x1075, IMG_8248.jpeg)
I bought a 45€ foundation, the shade seemed ok at the store but when i tested the product at home the shade is WAY too red. I think the moody lighting at the store tricked me, I’m so mad. Now that I opened the package I can’t return it.
No. 1920533
Not posting this as an unpopular opinion because people will be debating this shit: there's no difference between porn and sex "irl", because of some retard I had to see a pic of sex thats wasn't really filmed for audience and it looks the same as porn, no difference whatsoever. The amount of "filmed sex" I have seen on social media… I'm really not seeing any differences… A woman kneeling to dick in filmed sex, porn, erotic movie or irl looks the same and just as shocking, vulgar and traumatic. Any other act just as shocking. Porn is just humans being filmed having sex. Basically.. I've been going in and out of state that is perceived as healthy or as an enlightenment, if I didn't try to achieve a mental state in which I see not problem in nature then I wouldn't be ok with possibly killing myself because I would be unsure… I would think I'm mistaken and there's a way to be happy in life and there is and I dgaf but at least I know. I was just scared of regret, scared of making a mistake in a disordered state of mind. I hate life, I hate sexual dimorphism and how my brain reacts to it by having violent thoughts anytime men are near irl like my brain sees that they are bigger than me and masculine and my whole being refuses submission and I automatically think of fighting back and beating them up. If I did anything women do in sex and men out their filthy hands on my ass or head I would straight up think about slaughtering them in their sleep. I'm not joking about these thoughts. My brain says "fight the predator!!!!!" While other women just go and suck them. They remind me of faggots, "use lube while jacking cut cock" - real words of a straight woman on here, Talking like a faggotsluts, fight this predator you retard. Fuck you and your retarded sex shit normies you triggered the useless loseer prude
No. 1920545
File: 1710167555357.png (524.73 KB, 1080x1080, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.png)
I'm so angry all the time I can't even sleep anymore I just want to be gone for the rest of my life. I don't even know where it's coming from I haven't had anger issues since I was a kid but suddenly I'm just jumping out of my skin every second
No. 1920579
>>1920369this whole post..i don't know how to even react but
>I just remembered my last ex had the confidence to get me to have sex with him after I caught him inappropriately talking to minors and having a pawoo accountplease tell me you at least reported him
No. 1920593
File: 1710170496705.gif (11.24 MB, 640x636, cat-shaking.gif)
Trying to update a thread with milk and I keep being hit with that retarded "flood posts detected" pop up even though it's been well over 30 seconds. Let me post my findings damn!!!
No. 1920615
File: 1710171592756.gif (995.71 KB, 250x228, IMG_7265.gif)
>>1920598I hope this is bait, in case it is not: dump him. Please remember to laugh at his pathetic and FAILED attempt at cheating on you. To put salt on his wounds remember to him how easy it is for you to swap him for a better moid. Have fun
No. 1920632
File: 1710172203971.gif (204.12 KB, 230x131, pray lucille.gif)
>>1920631I pray everyday those posts are bait.
(avatarfagging) No. 1920683
>>1920631I was thinking about my irl friends more kek but it applies here too, and in my friends' cases, I have seen their ugly men and I just can't believe these smart, charming women shack up with these losers and I can't even say 'dump him' when they're venting all the ways their man is shit. I know it is to just get it out of their system, but I think being alone is much better. We just have this belief that you
have to end up with someone or you're a broken, sad person, so people just tolerate shit from their partners because they believe being single is worse.
No. 1920746
File: 1710179458285.jpg (24.6 KB, 563x585, b59a708051f23cebb9debaa0e7ac71…)
Just caught my dad lying to me about something and then he said "now I'm sad that you think I lied to you" DUDE YOU FUCKING DID LIE TO ME. YOU EVEN TOLD ME THAT I CAUGHT YOU???? What do you mean that you're sad? I'm so fucking disappointed. I wonder why he even felt the need to lie about it. It wasn't something bit but something that made me suspicious. It makes me wonder what else he's lying about. I'm sad that I can't even trust my own dad. He's like my best friend.
No. 1920794
File: 1710181578014.jpg (411.81 KB, 2048x1743, ECVkG3kUIAAsp8O.jpg)
I haven't worn lolita in a long time and I think neglecting my main hobby like that has made my mental health worse. My routine has been work > home and then on weekends I run errands. When I was new to lolita I'd dress up to every weekend, even to go to the grocery store but I don't have that energy anymore. I wish I had a friend who'd want to do cute things like antique shopping or visiting cafes. My local lolita comm is super active, I could try rejoining but I'm still embarrassed that I ghosted after a few meets because I got overwhelmed being in such a large group with their already established cliques. I wish I was better at socializing
No. 1920839
>>1920681>>1920691>>1920693I tried really hard to be part of society but was pushed out. Living isolated is not by choice. No matter how hard I try to have people in my life. I always end up completely isolated.
I've tried to be part of so many communities. I tried to make friends. To get a boyfriend. Everywhere I go it's just people talking about mental health issues, being broke and so on but I've been pushed out of everywhere. Living in isolation is not my choice. Society is forcing me to. I've been harassed, isolated, ignored everywhere that I went and told that my needs, feelings, problems do not matter. Even reasonable people with the exact same problems treat me horribly. I did my best to try to fit into society and have my basic needs met but basically I've been TOLD that Im the only human being that is not allowed.
No. 1920870
File: 1710188471112.jpg (80.72 KB, 735x722, chilling.jpg)
The only way to overcome my crippling anxiety is by focusing on the most autistic little interests, focus on insignificant little achievements and staying too sleep-deprived to be able to think deeply. I'm too out of it to react to to any news with anything beyond mild amusement at this point, which also seems to unnerve my Gen X colleagues.
No. 1920896
File: 1710190369765.jpg (340.42 KB, 2340x2340, 1000012755.jpg)
I just wanted to talk about how the SCP wiki has completely gone to shit. It officially died for me when it reached the 7000 mark. So much badly written shit clogging the site. SCPs that just plain aren't interesting, stupid (and not in an interesting way), those annoying fucking format screws (put a limit on these ffs), author self-inserts, and obvious author soap-boxes.
There's this one I came across that pretty much showcases all the problems I have with modern SCP. SCP-7454, which is literally (and I'm not even trying to simplify it), a fucking TiF aphrodite kek. To start, there's absolutely nothing intriguing about that. No unique abilities, and everything plays out exactly as you think it would. There's a cringy addendum log filled with stupid-as-fuck lolfoundation shit that would've been considered cringe back in S1. I don't like using that word but what else can I call it? It made me cringe. The TiF acts exactly how you expect a TiF to act. Obnoxious, vulgar, petulant, selfish, sulky, whiny, and overall just fucking insufferable to the point where I question if I was expected to like this piece of shit character or give a fuck when they're almost killed. Both the SCP and the interviewer are both obvious self-inserts as well. I thought modern authors hated self-inserts? Guess it's okay when a troon does it.
There's this stupid fucking sob story where the TiF mopes about her family and how "wahhhh i dont wanna be a goddess of motherhood wahhhh" in some limp-wristed attempt at social commentary. Of course, to anyone who isn't a retarded, trooning out is not the answer to that kind of thing. You can subvert expectations without joining the other side. There's a really fucking stupid line where the SCP says that her son created/adopted other deities to mock her, including Venus, Freyja, Hathor, and Mary. Hathor is much older than Greek mythology so that makes no sense, and Mary isn't even a divine being. She was just a normal woman who just so happened to be Jesus mother. So that's also fucking stupid and unnecessary. Of course, it's the same fucking dumbest TiF rhetoric of trooning out to "escape motherhood". I haven't even mentioned how having Aphrodite's entire tree exist in this universe is an immensely bad idea considering how it brings massive plot holes, but I digress. Also what does she get out of burning the library of Alexandria? It's fucking dumb. It's a dumb attempt at adding depth to this shitty troon-OC. Why does Aphrodite talk like a 16 year old high schooler? Oh, and of course in commissions, the author has the SCP portrayed as a faggy effeminate bishonen kek.
I honestly want to start a whole SCP thread just to talk about how fucking shit the community is (harboring a pedo for years, banning a user for criticizing Islam, djkaktus being an insufferable faggot). If nonas are okay with that, let me know.
No. 1920983
File: 1710196586258.jpg (25.79 KB, 470x349, 0c52bbeafe8cfbc04cb2dd3c3e4992…)
I'm 28 and still in uni but I'm too mentally unstable to work a job next to it and I feel awful and pathetic about it. I started therapy about six months ago and I'm doing well in uni for the first time in a while but I still feel so behind everyone else. I feel like I'm failing adulthood and I'm too embarassed about being too mentally unstable to work even just a part time job.
No. 1921090
I have to vent about someone I know who posted about being sick with the flu, asking people to leave flu meds, soup, and hydration on his doorstep bc he was too weak to go to the store. A bunch of people actually did this, leaving soup and Pedialyte and such. The next morning he posted that everyone who helped him is ignorant and shitty because they used the front porch and not the back. He said they all must want thieves to come to his house and kill him because of all the items that were "just left there" on his doorstep. Nowhere in the initial post did he specify where to leave the items.
>>1921070That sounds annoying af. Maybe you should hook up your bpd roommate with this asshole.
No. 1921121
>>1921108It seems people from those countries have a strong survival instinct. I know things might be bad for you right now but it could be so much worse. At least you're not in Yemen or Liberia, or quadraplegic, or
victim of a stroke. I wouldn't roll the dice knowing how worse it could get.
No. 1921180
>>1921099even with all the problems the USA has, being born there is a privilege in many ways. tho why not try to move somewhere else? or somewhere else still within your borders? the USA is huge. imagine rolling the dice and being born as a worm instead
>>1921160not food that's for sure kek. but you're not completely wrong. most eurofags wouldn't admit that to a burger though.
No. 1921186
File: 1710207798102.jpg (66.42 KB, 1022x731, It's_All_So_Tiresome.jpg)
>>1921142Oh, don't get me wrong. I do try to make the best of my situation and the desire for a comfortable life is what pushes me to work hard and study hard so it's not like I'm lying around sorry for myself. I just get tired of having to deal with some of the shit that comes with living in the USA. Again, apologies for my comment I realize how insensitive and disgusting it was.
No. 1921209
>>1921090Sounds like they'd get along. I genuinely felt embarrassed in the ER because all the nurses and doctors were trying their best, were sweet and gentle with her, and she didn't even say "please" once or talk to them with respect. They immediately brought her food and water when asked, she left half of it to waste and then complained they gave her a "tiny cup of water" (as if they didn't say she was obviously free to request more).
She then proceeded to e-beg (while she's been turning down all the job offers I'm helping her find because she "has an alt look and no one in this major city will hire her") and spend it on a very unnecessary beauty appointment and ordering food, when I stated several times if she needed there was plenty of food in the pantry, some instant stuff easy enough to make when you're sick recovering from an OD. It's getting hard to be kind and understanding 24/7 when she has absolutely no sense of priorities. I feel like such an asshole about all of this but clusterbees are so so hard to deal with, I want to be compassionate and patient but I can only go so far until I break down myself. I feel like these people just drag you down with them.
No. 1921210
>>1921201we'll have to agree to disagree because all american food looks crappy and revolting to me, i truly can't see the appeal.
>>1921207yes and the fast food is the worst part kek. it's all greasy and fucks up my stomach.
No. 1921230
>>1921168No, America beat most European countries in education, I think Finland and Ireland were the only European countries who beat the US.
>>1921181Actually European countries have all the exact same ingredients that they scream about American food having, they’re just labeled differently for legal reasons. European pre packaged food often has more added sugar than American prepackaged food, but they pretend that American food has more. It all has high fructose corn syrup too it’s just labeled differently. America and European countries all have similar levels of obesity too, it’s an outdated stereotype
No. 1921240
File: 1710210184228.png (728.37 KB, 1200x1200, marriage.png)
I am so annoyed of my married or partnered up friends (male and female) looking down on me or ghosting me simply because I'm single.
No. 1921243
>>1921233but i did have it
>American food is higher quality and flavorfuldid we eat the same food? it's literally the opposite i'm never eating American chocolate ever again
No. 1921251
>>1921235I'm the "ditched by hitched friends" anon
At this point, I think relationships are drugs. Or drama/validation machines. If you have nothing going for you in life, why not get wrapped up in a boy? Infinite validation points. People in relationships need to stop using single people for emotional labor and/or stepping stones.
No. 1921253
>>1921250Nah I wish, but I just discovered sillypoo today and I love them. Gave me a will to live.
I might draw more femcelly comics but I have nowhere to put them.
No. 1921268
File: 1710210832530.jpg (10.67 KB, 270x275, 1685078848783.jpg)
Male microbiome is a health hazard to women. I was a virgin and I got "only" fingered by a guy; the very next morning I got infection, and I never had an infection before. Yellow discharge and a terrible pain and itching. It lasted for over a week. I got my first pap smear because of that infection because I was scared he also gave some hpv from that (like he could touch himself and then me for example), luckily there was no hpv or std but I still had inflammation on my fucking cervix almost a month after the encounter. I will never understand why males are so dirty and disgusting. I had to remind him to wash his hands before he even starts touching me and he still gave me an infection from his finger. Never touching a male again.
No. 1921277
>>1921252Yeah my understanding is there's a whole range of state and national level of grocery stores (whole foods, trader joes) which provide better produce.
I love the US btw.
No. 1921285
File: 1710211443731.png (113.46 KB, 1090x664, 02-01-mcmuffin-cottage.png)
You will never have this delicious warm thing in US mcdonald's
No. 1921293
>>1921285Exactly, I don't know where this meme of US fast food being better than international comes from, most places sell the same handful of menu items, while other countrie's fast food has a large variety of things I've never seen before. Plus American sandwiches always add gallons of mayo.
>>1921287You never had the greasy type of fast food that gives you diarrhea? Or food served cold? I'm curious which cities you went to.
No. 1921308
File: 1710212723487.png (293.96 KB, 1000x1000, 1659622296156879.png)
Goddam i just want a cute boyfriend. Why do men gotta be so insecure and insufferable. Literally all i want is some non-repulsive average looking guy who's into the same hobbies i do but noooo, they all gotta give themselves ugly haircuts, porn addiction and believe they are the victims despite living life on easy mode. I am too arrogant to settle down like the average woman, i aint gonna shave, be in shape and dress nicely for a scrote that thinks its gay to wash his asshole.
No. 1921320
>>1921308>I am too arrogant to settle down like the average woman, i aint gonna shave, be in shape and dress nicely for a scrote that thinks its gay to wash his asshole.Good, never settle anon.
>>1921314I'm in the UK so I don't know how different it is but popeyes was such a let down. So bland, and I'm saying that as a brit. Taco Bell was disappointing as well, you could task how dirt cheap the ingredients cost. The hard shell in the soft one was kinda nice though.
No. 1921460
>>1921456American food is some of the worst in the planet, only the British beat them (I live in Britain, I know). A good meal is so enjoyable you don’t need more. Aren’t the Italians the thinnest in Europe? I think their food (and East Asian/SEA’s) is the best.
>>1921428We’re bitchy because you’re putting all that money and time down the drain for moids and you still look ugly
No. 1921495
>>1921181> they add so many unhealthy add ons that are banned in other countriesAmerica has stricter food regulations than European countries though, and we have more banned ingredients that European countries still use. All of the “American ingredients” that Europe has banned is still used in Europe, it’s just called something else
>>1921460America is known for having good food though, you’re incorrect. It’s true that British food is horrible though
No. 1921620
File: 1710237073878.png (44.51 KB, 1034x973, 1692121573334.png)
I need to find a way to get my stuff organized. I sell vintage stuff on etsy (really slow, just picking up) and I sold something but I couldn't find it in all the mess so I had to write this pathetic message in which I explain I have to cancel the order. It seems impossible to organize everyhting since I don't have the space to keep everything neat. I struggle between 3 messy homes and maybe I should just put the shop on vacation until I have ONE place to keep the items. I'm so retarded
No. 1921820
File: 1710252656157.png (407.68 KB, 499x472, image_2022_07_29T01_35_31_167Z…)
i'm poor as shit but live with family which is cool except for when they steal my goddamn food. you cheap cunts are all on over 100k a year, is it because you're still in the younger sibling mindset you feel fine taking shit you didn't buy? i want nothing from you guys, just leave my damn food alone fuck
No. 1921883
File: 1710256309791.gif (1.56 MB, 500x330, perfect blue.gif)
I lost my virginity to someone I'm not sure I'll be with for long anymore. I feel so gross, I didn't want to have sex to begin with but I truly loved him and didn't want to say no and be a prude. Just the fact that I allowed someone to get this close to me when I wasn't ready and I knew it but I still said okay. I allowed myself to get used like this. Why didn't I stick up for myself? I felt gross after, I knew I made a wrong decision but I did it anyway and now there's no going back. He didn't force me I was just a coward. I've never enjoyed sex but I had so little respect for myself that I said yes time and time again.
No. 1921931
>>1921883I did the same about 2 months ago
But I don't want to beat myself over it because overall the whole "you should give your virginity to someone special" and "you should keep a lock on your pussy" is really misogynistic. Do you think a guy would feel this way about losing his virginity to a girl he won't be with forever? For most, not really. It's a special kind of guilt inflicted upon women.
I try to be grateful for this experience, I got to learn that sex wasn't a big deal and wouldn't change my life, I got to learn that I should say no to people, I learned how to be assertive about using protection.
I didn't catch any illness, I had sex very safely. I wasn't used I just did something to try and please my partner, and it turned out not to be worth it.
So I don't have any reason to feel bad, you neither
No. 1921935
>>1921883how old are you nonna? It's the shock of the moment, allow some days/weeks to pass.
> He didn't force me I was just a cowardlearn from it and learn to say no next time
No. 1922007
>>1921998>>1922001i tried southern food and hated it sorry. it's my least favorite regional food. and the other types of mcDonald's taste better and serve things besides burgers/fries/nuggies
>frog legsjesus christ
No. 1922086
>>1922018dealing with chronic illness can be hard, especially dealing with it alone. It took several months for me to find the cause and seeing doctors felt like a full time job.
>>1922079I realized most normies are fake anyway. I feel comforted by lolcow, and I've been through loneliness several times in my life before. Remember that loneliness is just a feeling, and that times change and are temporary. There was times when I had lots of friends, times when I had zero friends. Try a change of scenery, take some classes at a community college or get an in-person job to socialize.
No. 1922092
>>1922079The world is fucked up
nonnie. It isn't your fault. I'm in a similar situation where the isolation I am experiencing is destroying my soul and shattering me from deep within. Everywhere I go. It feels like I am surrounded by sharks. I don't feel fully comfortable on lolcow either. I don't feel comfortable around normies. I am a displaced person.
I don't fully feel myself on lolcow. I know a lot of anons are unhinged in ways that I am not. That they are evil and they would hurt me or use things against me. I don't feel fully comfortable here but I am not welcomed in society generally. It's not even paranoia. I know that this place fosters people that are evil or hypocritical that would hurt me.
But I can't leave because I grew up being pushed out by society. So, naturally I gravitate towards a place where weird women find themselves but I don't trust this place fully
No. 1922113
>>1922092Nonnie it sounds like you have a lot of anxiety. The feeling of “being surrounded by sharks” struck a chord with me as that’s how I’d describe how I sometimes felt before I got on medication. Not trying to urge you to get on pills, but a big step to feeling slightly more like you belong is to tackle that anxiety somehow.
And honestly? No one really belongs anywhere. What gives those other people more any more right to take up space than you?
No. 1922128
File: 1710269972387.jpg (42.17 KB, 563x546, 3c27c73fe7a36777be6e530794b38c…)
>Find out my dad has a cancerous mass growing and he's going to need two surgeries instead of one now
I feel so numb rn. Like I'm on the verge of tears but also very calm. I know that I shouldn't panic because nothing has happened yet but I'm still scared for him.
No. 1922136
File: 1710270512429.jpeg (497.43 KB, 3424x2280, polly want a cracker?.jpeg)
>>1922076What's embarrassing is hashing out the same tired infight over and over and over again like clockwork. "America bad. America fat. Burgers fat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha." Okay Polly, do you want a cracker too? Picrel is how I imagine you look. It's so fucking tired. The joke has been done. We get it. Europeans don't have oil or lard or grease in their countries. Okay. Americans are obese and fat and fast food is all Americans eat because it's fatty and Americans are fat. Okay. We bootlick because we fry the boots in oil and we season the boots with Cajun seasoning. Okay. Like this is the 40th reply in this thread re: America vs Europe. Can we shut the fuck up about it now. It's actually so repetitive. If you want to infight so bad can you make it at least funny like the Regular Show anon did.
No. 1922184
>>1922167What's preventing you from having one? You can't find someone compatible or you're afraid to try? I think it's ok to be jealous but only to a certain point. Nobody needs to know your true feelings, so give yourself permission to feel whatever you're feeling first, then ask yourself what you can do to stop feeling this way. After that you'll start to heal from it. But resentment and jealousy are
toxic for your mind over time, so don't go overboard. Also I bet you already know this, but most relationships aren't very stable or strong either. Teen romance especially is nearly always a damn mess.
No. 1922186
>>1922151I legit don't think I can move on unless I find someone else
We keep getting back together thsi has been going on for years
I need to find a replacement
No. 1922259
File: 1710277033658.jpg (30.93 KB, 564x564, de4b2986c3afacf04eb32c0600b4a5…)
I fucking hate networking. I'm going to a work event this thursday and I'd rather jump off a bridge. It's all so fucking pretentious and I'd rather tell everyone to fuck off.
No. 1922261
>>1922260Thank you
nonny!
No. 1922307
>>1922239this is me, I lost 8 years of gym in 2 years cause of an injury, depression and work stress, I want to scream, not only for my once round amazing ass but for my whole muscle mass, so I feel you
nonniethe sooner you start, the better
No. 1922415
>>1922315>>1922333thanks for the support nonnas, I can confirm muscle memory is a real thing, the hardest to get over is the anxiety and fear of restarting because you know how much you've fallen
coincidentally my skin turned to shit once I stopped exercising, even if my skincare routine got better, so even more a reason to start exercising again
No. 1922453
>>1922445it's been getting progressively worse for a while now, even as a relative newfag I feel the difference over the past few years
where did all the nonnies go
No. 1922480
File: 1710289611279.jpeg (92.96 KB, 750x541, IMG_3043.jpeg)
>be me, former self harmer and bipolar bitch comorbid with 1000 other things
>bpd, adhd, ptsd, a little autistic
>life is finally going right
>lose insurance
>be off drugs for two years
>go cray cray
>almost kill self
>carve up body like thanksgiving turkey
>life lays in ruins before me
>few friends
>no job
>mentally broken
>have to go live with parent
>finally gets insurance again
>finally start drugs again
>things seem to be going swimmingly
>hahahhaa no
>has to go to the emergency room twice in a month after having sudden severe allergic reaction to drug that was helping
>hospital bills are currently up to above $5000 and insurance refusing to cover part of them despite saying they'd 50/50 ER bills
>WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
>now has to dispute those charges
>get new drug
>new drug has side effects from hell at full dosage but is manageable at half dosage but doc says no I need full
>doc prescribed second new drug
>think new new drug will work and is covered by insurance
>halves old drug and side effects significantly taper down
>oh my god everything about my body is wrong!
>MAKE IT STOP
>get call from pharmacy that new drug is not covered and will cost $450 without insurance
>end up crying in car
>there is no way it's not covered! optimistically insists it must be like the delusional idiot I am
>double check on insurance site
>lol no not covered good luck
>maybe I can stay on old drug at lower dosage since side effects are less annoying and it helps my mood at all!
>maybe the doc will let me just take half!
>and add a new drug!
>great, now I have to call the doctor to tell her my insurance sucks
>and we need plan b
>and the american healthcare system hates me
>the american healthcare system doesn't care I have a brain eating amoeba and actually need drugs to slow the side effects of this horrible malady
>sure the drugs have side effects, it's just better than rawdogging bipolar
>unless you get an allergic reaction that makes you wish you were dead!
>untreated bipolar turns you into an insufferable, rapid cyclone asshole
>I don't want to be that anymore
>at least you're fun at parties I guess
all this misfortune isn't funny anymore
No. 1922494
File: 1710290091112.png (47.35 KB, 250x173, wolf.png)
i struggle so much with discipline for half of my day nonnies. its like i only have a threshold but i cant keep putting things off because i am an adult and in uni. i try to be kind to myself but i seriously am so angry i cant just sit and complete this article due in a few hours! why? why do i not care? why is it such a big task for me? how do i expect to live in the real real real world with a career and place? i feel so mad. no, i decided to come on lolcow instead because i got tired of trying to articulate my thoughts. i am making so much progress but not enough. i cant just give up on assignments. why? how do i not do that? instant gratification seeking retard.
No. 1922704
File: 1710296833313.jpg (76.18 KB, 1006x999, 20240224_232459.jpg)
>>1922700Then there's the Forrest Gumps of the internet that say "I was always into the pizza with the meat before all of you I am a trendsetter so I like it without meat now in protest" meanwhile they never even ate the pizza and just have to insert themselves into everything instead of just doing their own thing
No. 1922747
>>1922242It's Telepurte
He slut shames all his ex's to everyone in the dojo server. He even slut shames girls he doesn't date. Dating him he also has a weird obsession with his main OC to the point he's mad she's not real
"She's the perfect woman. I dream of her and in a relationship with her". It's why he hates it when people draw porn of her. He feels like you're violating his wife. He also claimed a few years ago he was transexual and into feminine men. But had gay panic and started gripping his bible tighter.
He also has folders of nudes he collects from his fans that he brags about with the bros. He doesn't think he's wrong because the guys he hangs out with think he's a god and "Chad"
No. 1922828
>>1922825Thank you
nonnie, thinking about the taser but I'm canadian so I carry wolf/bear spray for now xx
No. 1922844
>>1922494Nonna it feels like I could've written this post, I'm in the exact same situation but working hard on it right now. I agree with
>>1922568 that it's important to start slow. If you're not used to working many consecutive hours it's a good idea to start slowly because otherwise you run the risk of overwhelming yourself and end up doing nothing. A small goal is much more manageable. I'd also recommend visiting an academic counselor, I think all unis offer that for free. It's not guaranteed to help but it won't hurt because these counselors already have experience with students. Mine is very understanding and I always feel more hopeful after an appointment with her. Unfortunately this is all very subjective and there's no way to give any universally helpful advice because different people have different methods. But one of the ways to find out what works for you is having an "evaluation sheet" for every different method you try - write the name of the method on top (for example, studying in the library) and then ask yourself a few questions like: At what time of the day did I try this? How long did I manage to do it? Did I manage to do it until the end/as long as I had intended? Why did it (not) work out? Did I get bored and if yes, at which point? Did any unexpected issues arise and how can I prevent them in the future? Did I get distracted and how can I prevent that? Is this method sustainable in the long term?
And at the end of the day don't forget that academia is absolute cancer for many people. From what I've heard things get easier when you start working because you most likely won't be dealing with such bullshit and at least you'll get paid for it kek. But until you get there you have to push through this slump that is getting a degree. And until you find a study style/technique that works for you, don't forget to also get enough sleep and physical activity. I know you've probably heard it countless times but the difference they make is insane. Good luck nonna and know that you're not alone in this struggle!
No. 1923029
File: 1710319007897.png (374.97 KB, 3253x936, male ladder.PNG)
I genuinely hate how Lolcow, even including the hidden board, are now just racebaiting, tranny sperging and a-logging other women thinking "anti-female socialization" is just being a sociopathic cunt to each other while the manhate of the late 2010's is a dying topic and anons spend more time lusting after men than hating them. Men are the root of our problem, men are all that's wrong in the world, men are creatures on par with animals. Almost every shitty decision that we make has been guided by patriarchy, our misery and pain always tracks back to patriarchy and male gender being pandered to and treated as the default. We are made to be compliant with out oppression because that's the only way we can survive right now, not because of an innate need to. Change needs to happen and you need to go back to directing your hate against the men in charge.
No. 1923048
>>1923038>tfw lolcow is confirmed to be a retarded pickme site now Rip Manifesto-chan, I hope that everyone who read your posts in the past are now spreading the facts across places outside of this site. I wish the mods locked the blackpill thread from the start because it brought about all the 4chan brained
femcels who will throw every woman under the bus that they can just so they don't have to face the painful reality that they're currently powerless against male privilege and they can't gain control by attacking and blaming other women for doing what they must in a world controlled by XYs.
No. 1923057
>>1923054What is a female biology by itself not defined by a male, can it exist outside of the relation with male? If men can't stick to moral standards while having a boner at the same time then what it says about female heterosexuality or female biology made for hetero reproduction?
What is female identity and life about?
No. 1923066
>>1923064women can't exist without being a
victim* like a woman is inherently a vicitm of her own biology
No. 1923099
File: 1710324110525.jpeg (65.52 KB, 649x472, images (4) (26).jpeg)
If good things start happening to me, maybe I'll become less hateful.
No. 1923112
>>1923108I thought being a human woman means being enslaved by men forever
>cockbreathsIt wasn't even me but I also thought that worshipping men is bad
>>1923104I thought women are vicitms
No. 1923130
File: 1710326867186.jpg (155.68 KB, 2048x1278, 20240306_234151.jpg)
I hate social media I hate how shorts can be such retarded time sinks. Why the fuck did I just watch a girl make the Mona Lisa out of peanut butter
No. 1923177
File: 1710331262529.jpg (31.27 KB, 619x495, images-1.jpg)
I don't think I'll ever be able to have real friends anymore. No. I can't. I simply can't. Not after all the shit I've been through. I can't. I don't want any, I don't want to be vulnerable ever again. I don't want them. I know I'm not a good person, I know the isolation proves it. I rather just not talk to anyone ever again. Unless you just want to be a casual friend, get away from me. Get away from me forever. I'm not falling for this "humans need friends" shit ever again. Not after all the pain and the hurt and the selfishness and them calling me horrible things (that I know are true anyway).
No. 1923200
I’ve been getting into skincare lately cause after years of not moisturizing or using any products my skin is feeling so rough. I get dry patches and oily areas and acne, same with these little bumps under the skin around my mouth, I think it’s called milia or something. And my lips are like always chapped. So I’ve been using moisturizer and lip balm for the past few months and my skin already feels so much better, I added some vitamin c serum to help with the dark spots left by my acne and I wanted to make sure I can use it with my moisturizer so I started looking into all the ingredients in my products separately and holy fuck everything is bad for us. One of the ingredients in the serum is carcinogenic, the moisturizer has endocrine disrupters, the lip balm looks okay right now but I’m not done looking into the ingredients, and it has beeswax and I read that the beeswax could contain pesticides. While I’ve been looking I found a website that lists other products that could have endocrine disrupters and it’s literally everything, laundry detergent, soap, deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo, sunscreen, even stuff like pillow protectors and mattress covers. It’s so disheartening, I want to look into all the stuff I’m using now but the list is endless, even my headphones could be disrupting my hormones right now or slowly giving me cancer. A while ago I bought these nice organic cotton white sheets and I read that the cotton can be coated in chemicals and dyes that could be endocrine disrupters or carcinogenic. Everything is toxic and it’s stressing me out
No. 1923222
>>1923220RIP to your nonna and fuck those care homes.
>>1923219I think this is just called being polite nona, don't let people that expect your whole life story in the first 5 minutes of knowing you get you down
No. 1923232
>>1923200I swear by grapeseed oil, it's available in cooking oil aisles. It's a good moisturizer and doesn't clog pores as often as other oils would. I use it all over my body, I had patches of dry skin on my hands, crotch, and shins and the oil healed it more completely than creams and lotions I tried. I have again and again stopped using skincare because my acne would freak out after a month or so, grapeseed oil has not given my acne that effect, I usually see pushback when I forget to put the oil on and my skin around my mouth starts to dry up again. I've had acne after trying to combine Vaseline with grapeseed oil when it was freezing temps out, but eliminating just Vaseline cleared me back up.
If you haven't tried grapeseed oil, it wouldn't hurt. If you have, I'm sorry it hasn't worked for you. I'm mostly glad I finally found something that helps my skin stay moisturized and doesn't break me out.
No. 1923255
File: 1710340577556.jpg (68.42 KB, 500x602, 87d806a867v531312a410.jpg)
I think I may have to take a break from media as a whole but especially live-action media. The way women are portrayed in movies and shows is making my dissociation worse. I've had it for a long time but usually ignored it, it comes and goes. There was a point where I almost considered trooning out too. I live in a strict family so it'd never happen anyway but the thoughts appear a lot. The thoughts and dissociative feelings went away eventually, can't remember how but now it's back again because of all the sexual content. It's not even about annoyance, it makes me genuinely nauseous even if it's not explict content, even if it's meant to be light hearted or "funny" (it never fucking is). Some of this media is popular enough that you can't even express dissent about it here which makes it more frustrating. I do not like being reminded that I have those parts, how people look at it, touch it, the associations and the purposes of such things. Even accidentally brushing up against those parts sends me into a panic. All touching feels like molestation to me even though it's not, it's nowhere on the same level i don't know why my brain does this. I just want to become as sexless and flat as possible, hopefully I get reincarnated as a leaf or something, or just something where the concept of sex doesn't exist at all. I want to wipe out all film, television, cameras, everything I wish I never discovered technology. "Art" is terrible. It is an excuse. It's not sophisticated, it's not deep, it doesn't make anyone smarter, cultured or classier it just opens up their hidden degeneracy. HATE. Hate how all the nastiest fantasies imaginable churned up by unwashed (they literally admit themselves in interviews and think it makes them so kwirky and silly) drug addicts is "cultured so innovative high class ugghh you don't geettt it!" and I'm seen as some backwards uneducated hick for not playing along. I can't calm down until every one of those creators die.
No. 1923299
File: 1710343408919.jpg (57.42 KB, 960x720, 1702813554822654.jpg)
Is it possible for your brain to suddenly find the moid you're dating ugly? Or maybe he gave me too many "icks" and now I automatically find him ugly? At first he seemed fine and I loved his personality but after 1 month of dating I found some things about him that are probably dealbreakers to me but the weirdest thing for me is that I find him ugly now and my body just pulls itself away from him, that's how much he grosses me out. I don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt him and I don't know how to cut this off. We're also coworkers so I will see him everyday anyway and it will be awkward. I never dated before and I'm so shit at this
No. 1923367
Last night I found out that one of my best friends has died, the only friend I had left since I‘m rotting away in our hometown, the rest lives in a city and I came back because of bad mental issues and so on.
It‘s funny how only a day before I was thinking about my biggest fear because I watched some dumb tv show where that was a topic. And I thought about losing someone close. I thought about this often because I knew I wouldn‘t be able to cope, about death in general.
I spoke about these constant thoughts with my (ex)therapist last year. How I felt like there was something protecting people from constantly thinking and imagining how their loves ones die and why I can‘t manage to not worry about that. I had told her that I even looked into religious shit just for the sake of coping but I never have and never will be able to believe in something that‘s not there and has so much blood on it‘s hands. I wish I could believe in anything that would make this less pointless.
I kept worrying that someone of my friends in the city would die and felt guilty it I wasn‘t there and practically ghosting everyone because of my own demons. I planned on coming back and I am sure some will take me back as something had traumatic happened to me before I ran away.
Anyways, the friend who passed was the only one here and the only one who kept checking on me, never mad if i didn‘t contact them for weeks when I was rotting in bed (since I know him) For some reason I didn‘t think of him when I was worrying about friends dying, maybe because he was where I am, but he should have been the one I should worry about. He‘s struggled with anxiety and alcoholism since I met him for the first time 15 years ago.
I don‘t remember anymore why I didn‘t tried to take more care of him the last year, he was sinking almost as much as i was. He was always positive and sweet, he had a childish playfulness. He would hide little gifts away outside and I needed to follow stones in a random bush for example. He was a romantic who would send me uplifting letters or poems he has written. Some would probably find it hard to believe that there hasn‘t anything more than friendship been between us. But it was like that, he was a special person who treated his friends like siblings he loves. He was spontaneous and fun. I could write a book about what kind of person he was.
I never had someone close to me pass away. Noone young that I knew in general. I knew it could happen any moment but not him.
The worst thing is that he has texted me on the day he died, february 10. He said he won‘t stop annoying me from time to time unti i feel better with a smiling emoji. It has been more than 2 months that I hadn‘t responded to him, once again but he kept messaging me during these weeks, positive, considerate etc.
I had to throw up after reading them earlier. Exactly three days after receiving his text on the 13th, I called him back, texted him I was alive again. I didn‘t hear anything back, so i did the same as he did, not knowing he wasn‘t alive anymore. Last week I had written the same thing, that I won‘t stop contacting him, wanting to be there and wait for him, and that I‘m looking forward to meeting him again, how I hope that he‘s only drunk, having fun and that he is okay and not depressed otherwise. I called him a couple times last thursday but his phone was off. I didn‘t think anything about it.
Yesterday night, I took time to look at the messages I received from strange numbers that I usually don‘t look at for a reason. Then I saw one of a friend of his, telling me that our friend has passed away. My heart dropped and I asked him what he is talking about and he sent me the obituary. He‘s never seen my messages anymore. He asked me if we can see each other on the day he died. I wasn‘t there, I didn‘t even respond. I was too late.
I know it‘s typical that people feel guilty and can‘t accept it, thinking they could have prevented them. Which they maybe could have. On other days we may have prevented someone from dying when we were with them. We can‘t know these things. I know I shouldn‘t be so hard to me but I can‘t. He wanted to get better, we signed a deal between us with getting well this year, we planned a trip to japan in summer. And then I just didn‘t respond to him for 2 months. He wanted to be there for me and I wasn‘t for him.
I can‘t cope knowing he is not there and we won‘t do any of these things, i won‘t ever find out things about him that i hadn‘t talked about, yet. I always wanted to get there. And this guilt. That i could have just not ignore him lol. I saw his message on my display that day and just put the phone away, even though I didn‘t feel that bad or had a panick attack or some shit that could make me forgive myself.
Since yesterday night, I can‘t stop crying for more than a few minutes it seems. I took a good dose benzos to sleep 12 hours but I am back in this reality. It is all real. I‘m bpd-tier sensitive and emotional, there was a reason why I was so scared about losing anyone.
The pain is unbearable, the grief and regrets. I don‘t know what I should do. I hear different things from what helped people. Most of them say I need to talk to someone about it, let it all out. I don‘t have anyone and I don‘t know if I could. I can‘t let it out, I can‘t endure the pain.
I tried to force myself to not think about it by counting and breathing every time I remember him, I keep seeing things that remind me of a memory with him. I wonder if there is a way for me to block this out for a while and just keep busy until there is distance and I didn‘t fuck my studies up etc and I can allow myself to give into it. Some would say no, some would say it helped them, but can I? What else can i do? If i go visit the graveyard and let a letter for him there, It would feel silly. He hated religion too and wouldn‘t think it‘s necessary to put meaning on that stuff. I wish he could have told me what to do. I wish we could have spoken about what happens after one of us dies, the probability wasn‘t low in many times.
I don‘t know what to do. If my finger was hurting so much as everything in my head and upper body, I would just cut it off. I cried for months after a dumb relationship ended, where noone has died or anything, it‘s so silly. How will I ever recover from this and not feel like dying whenever he comes to my mind?
My rambling is going nowhere and noone is going to read my salad either. For that reason I never vented on lolcow or shared personal stuff because no1currs, right. I don‘t know where else to put it out. Maybe this „helps“ and is a substitute to the venting i‘m supposed to do as the handbook of coping with grief suggests. Easier when someone you love is around or you believe in life after death.
I wish I was an artist who could put the sorrow into his paintings or music or whatever. But I‘m not one and would have no clue what I‘m doing. I‘ve been going to a „painting-therapy“ for the last couple years and lol, maybe a picture didn‘t look so shit but i didn‘t feel anything.
What do people under the same conditions I have do? Just suffer for years? Waiting until the pain gets less intense after a long time? Like with romantic relationships. Is it similar? Is there anything else that could help?
tldr: Close and only current friend died. I‘m desperate, feel guilty and can‘t cope. only crying and vomiting so venting on lolcow. might be not readable because my vision is blurry because of the tears.
I don‘t give a shit about reddit spacing, word salads without spacing break my brain.
No. 1923394
I have this friend who has been living abroad for 12 years now but she had to come back for a few months. She’s always judging my relationship with my husband. I tell her nothing about our dynamics because ever since I can remember, she always something bad to say. It didn’t matter that she was far away and she didn’t even see us in real life, she always made wrong assumptions about us.
We decided to travel for a few weeks to the place where she has been living for the past decade but we didn’t know she wouldn’t be there at this point. Mind you, every time we had travelled to see her she kept complaining about how we should try to travel alone, enjoying each other company and basically “acting like an actual married couple, not as friends” (I know, it’s as stupid as it sounds). Now we decided to keep our travel plan because even if she isn’t there, I think it’s a pretty good opportunity and I want to spend time with my husband after all.
Since we told her, she’s acting all passive aggressive, not replying to almost any of my messages and every time she does, it’s just something plain and basically the minimum effort.
I even asked her what was her problem with me because you just know when something’s wrong and she’s obviously showing signs of being kind of pissed off but of course she denied it all. Still, no messages, no calls, not even making the effort to try and fake being happy for me.
For years I had to stand her judging me and guilt tripping me for not “living my life at fullest” and now that I do want I want (and it’s basically something that she gave me advise for), she gets mad at me and (the worst of all), she feels the need to trying to make me feel guilty even when I did what I wanted.
No. 1923395
My best friend went and hung out with this bpd girl who admitted to stalking me and sends me voice messages constantly, just because she started messaging her nicely. I told her it made me uncomfortable and that the only reason that girl was talking to her was because of me, I showed her all the weird shit she has sent me, like videos of me from years ago that I've never even seen, voice messages about stalking me for years, like it is so weird. But she still went and hung out with her and texted her for a while, they'd post about being besties on each others' stories so retardedly, and now my friend is saying she is just going to ghost her because "she's weird." LIKE I TOLD YOU SHE WAS WEIRD, I SHOWED YOU PROOF! She already went and hung out with her and told her a bunch of shit about me! And now I'm in a weird position because I was just relenting when my friend wanted to be friends with her, so I said fuck it I will just be nice to her too and hope she goes away. But now she's sending me messages and pictures all day every day and I don't have the heart to just ghost her like my friend did since I guess she hasn't technically done anything wrong? fml I feel so stupid for being stressed about this situation it's so weird, I avoid interacting with people and only have 1 friend because of shit like this and somehow I still get put into such an uncomfortable situation and don't know what to do at all
No. 1923458
what have i come to? i used to make fashion sketches for FUN and wasn't even encouraged by my parents, i used to fill up 50 pages on both sides in months time, anything and everything used to inspire me, i could make designs out of Ferrero Rocher wrappers ffs, and now i struggle with coming up with even 10 ideation sketches in 4 days time even with advice from the prof and creative thinking skills methods. it's dawning on me that i'm not in design college bc i'm good at design, i'm in design college bc i can't do anything else except draw and even that i can't do anymore.
i sometimes look at the talented people around me, i try to think about what makes them so much better than me, did they do twice as much as i did when i was young? did they attend courses? does living in a hostel or PG somehow contribute to their abilities? as a cope bc i want to think that this is all a slump and this isn't my best, but i'm not sure what to believe in anymore, it doesn't matter how much the people around me compliment me, encourage me, i've just peaked and i won't get any better than this.
No. 1923548
>>1919782Back to vent again and to say that I now realize my boss is building a case against me, not for me. Two errors, completely out of my control, occurred recently. Both were documented against me in my performance plan without room to speak about them. I know it's dumb to take corporate bs personally, but that really hurts my feelings.
I'm still searching for a new job, I'm just really scared I won't find something in time before I'm let go.
No. 1923599
>>1923556I have to get an ultrasound of my whole stomach as per my doc's recommendation
I know how endoscopies go and I seriously hope I won't need it, I never had one , nor do I want one kek
No. 1923615
File: 1710364600160.jpeg (180.26 KB, 1000x667, download (11).jpeg)
I'm still mad about the new moles I keep getting every year even though I rarely see the sun. The latest one is making me look like picrel. Why couldn't it be discreet like the other moles
No. 1923638
>>1923615moles are gorgeous though im kind of jealous of you
nonnie, i have two i really like how they’re placed
No. 1923694
File: 1710370198289.jpeg (59.37 KB, 956x278, IMG_0304.jpeg)
>>1922843Always has girl, I'm up to my eyeballs in dread every time I receive another letter, not to mention they do texts. Even if I had the money immediately it'll take forever to battle it out, and I will have to go to the insurance to protest them not paying the base ER bills which were the highest. I'm looking at $8000 now because I forgot to give insurance card to the ambulance EMTs, now I have to deal with that, my insurance is lower shit tier and because of the ER trips I'm about to pass my deductible. I barely know how insurance works, just started having my own policy and this ordeals drowning me. Nobody teaches you how to apply for this in school or in college and you're left to fend for yourself if you have an emergency episode kek. Maybe I should've just writhed in bed instead of gone to emergency services, even though I felt like I was gonna die, I didn't have a GP at the time! It was 2am! My mistake!
American healthcare system is a dystopia. At least they can't arrest you for medical debt. I think. Yet.
No. 1923695
File: 1710370245668.jpg (30.74 KB, 640x480, f8b777c6d7af611ca7e627229dd476…)
I'm cleaning up the ancient files on my computer and I unearthed an old video of my ex. We met as kids and sort of grew up together through our teen years and early adulthood… In this video, he's a 10 year old playing with a toy.
It doesn't really tear me up inside or make me depressed or anything, but it's just… Weird to think about. I do remember how small he was, and how round his face was and how high-pitched his voice was and how older boys would bully him for it. In this video he's just a sweet little kid. He was a shy, creative kid with a big imagination.
It's weird… because when we were older, he ended up being severely abusive. He had a violent temper and twisted sexual desires. He beat, degraded, threatened, and basically held me captive for years. That cute little boy playing innocently someday grows up into the gaunt man outsizing me by fourteen inches in height as he strangles me in rage. But in this video he's just a child.
And I know that child would've been devastated to know what he'd end up doing, because I remember his old sentimental little journals about how he can't wait to grow up and treat his future girlfriend like a princess. It doesn't make me sad but it makes me feel something.
No. 1923715
>>1923703He got deep into porn use a few years after that video was taken and I think it was possibly one of the biggest negative influences on him. Not the only one, but a big one. He wasn't just an average addict but into seriously niche and deviant stuff for hours back-to-back every day.
Interestingly, when he was an adult, he actually turned really rabidly anti-porn and would fight with his friends about that topic. But even as he dropped the more extreme fetishes, he never really let go of that mindset of using women as objects or of that lust for violence. He was against it because it made him waste a lot of time and gave him erectile dysfunction for a while; he'd get annoyed and shut me up whenever I brought up the harm it has on women.
No. 1923722
>>1923717OP literally replied and said porn was a part in her ex's
abusive tendencies lmao stop minimizing porn it's incredibly destructive.
Just because "soldiers in WW2" were raping women , (Men have raped women since the dawn of humans) doesn't mean porn isn't influencing violence and degradation in males. It literally rewires your brain like a drug and makes you view women as objects.
No. 1923730
>>1923722>>1923723Porn wouldn’t work on them if they weren’t inherently defective is my point- why are they so receptive to it? Porn isn’t to blame for the inherently opportunistic, escalating, malleable and exploitable male sexuality or their selective loss of empathy when there’s a sexual opportunity. It doesn’t exacerbate anything that’s not there already. It’s actually easier to blame porn and other external factors than male nature. If it’s just porn why doesn’t it turn women into
abusive monsters.
No. 1923764
>>1923720Just go, man. Within those 5 years you could've found someone else. "it's easier to change the man than to change a man."
Do you really want a future where he is resentful and dragging things on like that? People don't act that way towards things they really want and people they really like. Had an ex like that. In retrospect, it was a waste of breath and he probably secretly resented me the whole time for "forcing" him to be in a relationship, while he saw himself as a
victim with no agency at all.
Think about when someone is committed to losing weight, how easy it is for them to follow through vs. someone who just makes endless excuses.
No. 1923777
>>1923764I just dont understand, if he hates discussing the future, why did he buy a ring and hold on to it for months? I cant wrap my head around this.
I will leave. I just feel so confised because I cant follow the logic. He wanted to ask me to marry him, but cant discuss goals?
No. 1923782
>>1923772I didnt even need a plan set in stone, I just wanted to have a joint savings account and a general goal discussion.
Im very hurt and I appreciate you and other nonna replying. Im a fool in the first place for thinking a happy relationship with men is even possible. They all end up being shitheads.
No. 1923791
File: 1710374398092.jpeg (7.03 KB, 275x233, 1693927674678.jpeg)
My new bf likes to "scare" me in a retarded way and I hate it. Like when we're hugging, after a few seconds he suddenly jolts on purpose and I'm startled by this. I told him to stop because it's unpleasant and just stupid and it really scares me in a moment when my body is finally relaxed and ruins the moment for me, but then he did it again. Then I told him to never do it again and that time he promised he won't do it again. We will see. Why are men do retarded anyway…
No. 1923804
>>1923788Thanks nonna. I appreciate your input, ive been so emotionally fried.
At the end of the day, he has to be man enough to address this issue with a professional; its not my responsibility to coddle a man child. I am trying to figure out where I will move and how to do it to avoid another freakout.
No. 1923855
>>1923849Kind of a meme and I don't like him but look up "Surviving a breakup - russell brand.
Helped me during a painful breakup
No. 1923989
File: 1710384103933.jpeg (772.39 KB, 877x952, IMG_3575.jpeg)
I promise I’m not compliment fishing or humble bragging or baiting, but seriously how ugly do my nails look lmao. Am I allowed to be upset, even my moid friend thought they looked weird.
No. 1924025
File: 1710387378835.jpg (106.34 KB, 736x736, 3fea7675ee013d58e07b62ae76c03a…)
>>1923989I loooove these. Unique, blinged out, shiny, 3d nails are completely my type, however these are understandably not everyone's style and I get how you may not like them.
>even my moid friend thought they looked weird.The average moid is rather boring and don't have much style
>>1924007Does your nail tech do this type of work a lot? It's important to keep in mind your tech's style when asking for a freestyle
No. 1924029
>>1924025She usually never misses and gives me amazing freestyle so I guess she was having an off day, your picrel is pretty much what I had in mind
>>1924023Yeah agreed the non matching blues kind of set off my tism
No. 1924161
File: 1710391457693.jpg (70.71 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault-2112488530.jpg)
>>1917750nta but it pisses me off too. they even have fans sometimes. used to be a thing for bloggers to get fandoms by just whining online. i also hate the "love yourself before you love others" because nobody deserves being abused and only turbo autists are happy being completely alone. usually on the way of finding a non-
abusive relationship, someone would have family or friends asking about their dates and everyday lives, potentially sussing anything out too.
No. 1924332
File: 1710398207043.jpeg (208.37 KB, 2000x2000, a4233e65-4112-47fe-8935-6d8dcb…)
the internet isn't as entertaining as it used to be. in 2010 there would be youtube tutorials that show new things, and an algorithm that made it easy to discover new music of the same genres. flash games were good, finding forums was easy. now it's a corporate ai hellhole, with social media making everything into a capitalist, consumerist competition. youtube is repetitive, forums are dying out or are full on sperging about incel shit or are infighting. i don't go on 4chan anymore because the misogyny is too toxic. sites have lost their sparkle. i find joy in some shitposting groups, niche subreddits, and lolcow. i try not to consoom, but the urge to shoop on today's internet goes hard.
No. 1924393
File: 1710401789511.jpg (47.93 KB, 735x726, c85c45dddc5866d094eb59a352a127…)
I feel like I wasted my life and I feel like I wanna pull my hair out from all of these regrets.
Never planned to make it to 15, then it was 18/19, and here I am at almost 25 feeling behind in everything - stuck in my hometown with a job I'm not satisfied with anymore and pretty much tired all the time. I don't remember when my last good sleep was, it's been so long (I was insomniac most of my school years due to regular nightmares).
I'm so mad at me for not making most of my teenage years like a normal person, but then again I was thinking about suicide daily back then so I couldn't do much about it I guess. It's just that I had so much free time back then and I just let it slip like that by being suicidal and pleasing my parents with high grades and being the perfect kid - to pretty much no avail (we're good now, they apologized to me and we have a great relationship now). I had so many chances of improving at my hobbies and landing on a nice career but I had to be this retarded and drop out of my first college since I got tired of school and learning in general.
I feel so bad for feeling jealousy, but I do feel it sometimes when I see my friends and peers who followed their dreams or did whatever and have the life that I dream of (on the surface at least) and I followed rules because I had no other option and I fucking hate it, it's so boring, I can't do this shit till I die.
Any remotely interesting event or learning event that happens where I live is for what? 18 - 24 year olds? Starting a singing course? If you're older than highschool age, good luck. Having a successful alternative career other than a 9-5? Too old for that, but also you had to have someone rich in your family to have that or be insanely pretty and I am pretty for boomers only.
Finding a remote job that pays more than minimum wage makes me give up on everything I swear. My face also seems tired, I just need rest for 1 month, but that means leaving this job and it's harder to find one afterwards and I'm scared that if I'm the last arrived employee, I'll be the first to get fired for sure.
I'm grateful for not killing myself, grateful for my parents and friends, even this job tbh and generally having a better life after highschool, but guess I am tired and just want a different life.
No. 1924527
>>1923367I'm sorry nonie. It's going to really, really hard for a while but it won’t always be. have you heard the ball in a box analogy for grief?
You have a box with a button inside, and when that button is pushed it's all those awful feelings of grief and guilt. Inside the box is a ball. When your loved one has just died the ball is huge and takes up all the space in the box and it’s pressing against that button constantly and it's like there is nothing else but the pain. But with time, a lot of time, the ball shrinks and starts to bounce around the box, think of it like the DVD logo bouncing around inside a screen. It still hits that button randomly as it bounces around, and when it hits the button it’s still as painful but over time the ball gets smaller and it has more room to bounce around and hits the button less often and with less force. Sometimes it’ll hit the button 3 times in a day, sometimes it might not hit the button for weeks.
It will sneak up on you, and it will take your breath away but please be patient, wait it out, it will hurt less.
No. 1924607
File: 1710418129148.jpg (214.01 KB, 960x720, 1000003336.jpg)
Going to start asking all people who sound retarded on here if they're esl
No. 1924629
File: 1710419501436.jpg (34.68 KB, 381x367, 565486715656.jpg)
I told someone (male) they were hurting me and making me cry and they pulled the "no you're hurting me and you're manipulative" card on me despite him basically ignoring me and hurting me for so fucking long
No. 1924698
File: 1710421529842.jpeg (167.62 KB, 1200x800, 20percent.jpeg)
The one reason why I would fully troon out with surgeries and hormones would be to be able to travel alone being read as male. I want to go explore the world and the people who live in it, but as a woman you can barely take out the trash at night without having to clutch your keys in your fist. I remember reading a blog written by a girl traveling alone in Asia and she only narrowly escaped being raped despite being careful with her actions, meanwhile men get to share the amazing experiences being treated like kings anywhere they go because most cultures only hate women.
No. 1924863
>>1923695I've thought of this a lot too. Not with a boyfriend but I had a couple of male friends when I was in elementary school, we were about 10-11. They were my best friends. One of them was sensitive, a little clumsy and impulsive at times but he would feel genuinely bad about causing troubles. We would play, share trading cards, talk about dinosaurs and cartoons together. Some months ago I found a little post-card he sent me when he went on a trip with his family once, it had a picture of a cat on it because he knew I really loved cats. He wanted to spend time with me.
Then my male friends grew up to become cocky bastards into porn and drugs, at some point my best friend would become one of my school bullies. It seems like it happens in the blink of an eye, like one day something just switches and they become monsters. It's like they're not even the same person.
No. 1924903
>>1923551I found the fucking culprit, tested positive for H Pylori in my poop, what a shit (kek) situation
A solid round of antibiotics should nuke this bitch but I may have a mild ulceration that might take a bit more to heal but that's okay since I'm used to eating healthy.
I'm also going nuclear on cleaning and disinfecting my whole apartment. I wonder if I should toss 2 liquid lipsticks away, but they should be ok i I let them be cause this faggot bacteria needs acidity.
Now where the FUCK I got it from is beyond me
but I'm glad I found the problem so now it can be treated
wish me luck nonnas
No. 1924951
>>1924932
My brother is the same, it’s actually crazy as fuck to witness. He is a completely and entirely different personality than when he was a kid, all for the worse. He used to be quiet, thoughtful, hard-working, smart— then puberty hit and at 21 he is combative, selfish, hurtful, too lazy to even brush his hair, and completely devoid of the most basic common sense. He now hardly ever talks to my mom despite her being a wonderful person to hang out with, and ignores and belittles her input on anything while only respecting my dad. He used to be a mommas boy, now he treats her like garbage. I want nothing to do with him anymore because he makes every interaction so unpleasant.
And still my parents give that exact excuse you mention— “boys mature slower, anon…”
No. 1924963
>>1924863It's crazy because I remember having friends who were 11-13 in middle school who were admittedly into some weird hentai shit, but those moids were my friends and kept their pornsickness out of our friendship, and actually acted very docile and kind towards women in a way that moids now would never act. It was weird because they were obviously into porn but they weren't Andrew Tate type consumers, they kept their porn consumption among their guy friends and us women only knew about it peripherally. I often wonder since I stopped being friends with them after middle school if they grew up to be pigs or actually well adjusted young men. One of them had a crush on me, but he was bashful about it and never made moves. It was really back during a time when being a nerdy moid was actually kind of endearing and not a vehicle to degeneracy and abuse, at least not the way it is now.
Now you see normie 10-14 year old boys consuming manosphere poison and sexually harassing and grabbing on prepubescent or barely pubescent female classmates in a way they didn't before. Nerd moids are even worse. As someone who grew up admittedly being into dorky guys it's hell realizing how limited the dating pool is when the prototypical nerdy man in my age range nowadays is usually hiding some harrowing incel beliefs. Porn is now intermixed with the manosphere content to induce this hard edged misogyny in nerds. Those were the types I grew up with and typically befriended, i was a dorky girl. It's sad, so sad to see the degradation and indoctrination of boys and young men into pornsick scrotedum combined with manosphere content to turn them into monsters. It doesn't have to be this way. I know scrotes are inherently brainwashed, they're raised with male privilege, to hate women, but they're getting disgustingly sexist younger and younger.
No. 1925050
File: 1710439797301.jpeg (42.32 KB, 640x427, IMG_7114.jpeg)
Had really bad diarrhea and had to take a shit in a public bathroom, which I absolutely hate having to do and under normal circumstances could never do
No. 1925145
File: 1710445260143.jpg (151.33 KB, 810x1080, m16078045933_1.jpg)
Trying my damn hardest to not waste $250 on these plushies right now even though my autismo brain is screaming I NEED IT
No. 1925154
File: 1710445441174.jpg (38.03 KB, 735x563, 4bb049dbff1c7a3623929b577f1e83…)
>>1924393>>1925102>>1925114It sounds cliche but it's never too late to change. If you think about it, mid-twenties isn't even that old—there's still plenty of time to turn things around if you really want to commit to changing and bettering yourself. I'm in the same boat as you all as a 26 year old who feels ashamed at my wasted youth. You can wish as much as you want to be able to turn back the clock and change the past but the only thing you can do now is march forward and act on your desires. Even starting with something small today is better than spending another day filled with regret. Make a list of things you'd like to work on for yourself, look for resources that can help you achieve whatever you want to change, and then implement them. It might be tough at first to get into new routines and form habits but I believe in you nonas!
No. 1925165
File: 1710445935565.jpg (52.7 KB, 373x408, 1710445260143.jpg)
>>1925145I like this little fella with the close-set eyes. He looks a bit slow if you know what I mean, but he's still happy with himself. Buy this one only and think of lolcow.
No. 1925190
File: 1710446807328.gif (2.89 MB, 449x248, fuckthisgayearth.gif)
wow, a relative just casually told me a really horrifying piece of information I really, REALLY wish I never heard out of the blue. like why? just, why?
No. 1925201
File: 1710447415275.jpeg (136.43 KB, 1200x900, IMG_9788.jpeg)
>>1925154Thanks nona, im trying to be more positive. Some days it's fucking hard, but I am doing better than I was last year by far. I wish my physical body matched my perkier mind
No. 1925253
File: 1710449323367.jpg (87.72 KB, 960x708, image11.jpg)
>>1925231chiikawa is one of the hottest things in Japan right now, like almost rivalling sanrio levels of popularity because everyone thinks they're cute kek to each their own I guess
No. 1925270
>>1925145They're super cute and despite what other anons are saying I don't think $250 is
that much for the entire set but only get it if you have the means to. If you're well off then $250 for a collectible set you really like isn't that bad but if you don't have that kind of money then just wait for your favourite to come up for an auction. I love Chiikawa stuff so I'm biased I guess but that's my advice.
No. 1925285
>>1925273this is an opinion i can respect. live your truth queen.
>>1925253to each their own indeed
No. 1925328
>>1925292I’m the same
nonnie. I was always fat and ugly and barely took care of myself let alone take time to learn how to makeup/hair. Now that I’ve lost weight and paid more attention to my looks I’m even more self conscious than I was before in some ways. I’m hyper aware of what I look like especially since I’m autistic and don’t really know what’s considered normal for women my age to do/wear. I never even realized I had tuberous breast syndrome when I was fat since I didn’t pay attention to how I looked and now I’m extremely insecure about it. I always feel the need to be wearing makeup and wonder if scrotes find me attractive. I hate it
No. 1925335
File: 1710455347971.jpg (23.58 KB, 488x337, 1668361614600.jpg)
It's been 2 months and I still haven't applied for the simple cashier job that I can walk to in 20 minutes. Its literally down the hill (granted the shitty crumbling asphalt path) and I could've had almost $1000 saved because my free time is mostly playing vidya I bought for cheap or emulated and pirated. Being a barista or working in the mall seems cool, but I'd be losing at least $15 a day for Uber. It really does seem like my future is always going to relate to video games, either playing or making them. Unfortunately I fucked up by doing my Compsci final the day before classes ended AND getting a relative to help out with 99% of it while I sat there watching, of course I got an e-mail telling me to explain that shit or fail. Welp I failed, I can't stomach going back to my cc and risking them seeing me so here I am failing to click on the application page for what is literally more than the 200th day in a row.
To top it all off, I decided to google what Agoraphobia is after constant mocking from my "father". Wow, its not shutting the blinds and curtains and cowering in a dark room, its anxiety and fear and over-stimulation when faced with the unknown outside world? Even if I knew that and said "Yes, now that I've looked into it, I think that's what I have.", I'd be told to just get over it or try harder. Yes, just have a breakdown in my head thinking of killing myself right there because of another 40+ meangirl coworker I have to spend hours standing next to. Going to apply to something, anything by Monday because I need to secure some safe place to myself where I can just be me and go crazy.
I hate this normie world I keep failing to mask in because I just can't pretend to be happy when I'm not. I wish I was ignorant and stupid and not self aware of how society works. I wish I wasn't brought up by a racist two-faced male so I could actually believe it when people compliment me instead of having an insult ready for everyone I meet. I'd be happy even if there was a fucking war declared tomorrow, at least there would be something chaotic and interesting happening and the male population would decrease as a bonus.
No. 1925351
File: 1710456936464.jpg (33.05 KB, 564x418, f5f337bc9014bb583543dac4b5bb3b…)
I can't get my fucking ex out of my head. It's been months. I've been doing everything you're supposed to after a breakup yet I'm still crying over him. This wasn't my first breakup but damn we were so compatible and I worry that he'll be "the one that got away", as dumb as it sounds. I've been trying to go out on dates but no one compares to him, even if I try to give someone else a fair chance. He felt like home to me and now I feel like a crab without its shell kek fuck I hate it. I still love him.
No. 1925369
I hate having to hand hold older adults through things they know how to do but want to act helpless. It's not cute at all. You are not a princess and way too old to be acting this way. It was so irritating yesterday and I hope I don't have to do it again for a while.
>>1925348What brand if you don't mind me asking?
No. 1925377
>>1924863>>1924951>>1924932It’s literally just puberty. Men can’t maintain both morality and a boner. It’s not “fixable”, it’s just how they’re designed- having empathy for women would lead to less of them reproducing.
>>1924915Correct. People get mad when you point this out and accuse you of defending porn but it really is the ‘gentler’ explanation because it implies if we just ban porn or date a Nigel who swears he doesn’t watch it things will be fine.
No. 1925409
File: 1710460894559.jpeg (51.92 KB, 397x595, IMG_3732.jpeg)
>>1925401
No. 1925413
Really bad period cramps tonight and I just feel drained, haven’t felt like much of anything all day but still did some cleaning so the day wasn’t wasted.
Needed groceries, didn’t feel like going out, had a grocery delivery coupon anyway so I just ordered groceries for pickup. It’s after dark here and the groceries got delivered at the gate. I live with my boyfriend and the gate is like a 5 minute walk from our house. I get the text notification that groceries have been delivered and he says “do you need help with that?”. I admittedly should have said yes, but I was kind of annoyed that he would even ask and not just go do it when he knows how bad I feel. So I, in a hateful tone, said no I’ll do it later, and then I accidentally fell asleep for a few minutes.
I woke up, checked the time, realized I had fallen asleep for about 10 minutes so I hurriedly went and got the 6 bags of groceries by myself in the dark. I come inside, his dog is jumping all over me and knocks stuff out of my hands, I finally get everything to the kitchen and I’m about to tear up because I feel so bad. And then as I’m about halfway through putting groceries away my boyfriend comes into the kitchen and offers his “help”.
I know this is such a dumb thing to complain about. My boyfriend does do a lot for me all the time. But it’s the little everyday things like this that I just feel like I shouldn’t have to ask for help with. He should see how I’m feeling and step up where I need him, we’ve been together for years now. He knows if I lay in bed all day it’s because something is up, not because I’m just not in the mood to do anything.
No. 1925469
>>1925440You sound like you're spiralling anon, calm down and get some perspective. What if he admitted the same thing to you? Do you think it would make sense for him to dump you over that? If a friend of yours told you she admitted to her bf that she was depressed and attempted suicide, what would your response be? Would it be
>wow how embarrassing for you, only perfect people who are perfectly happy deserve to be in relationships. You should dump him no matter how kindly he responds. ?
I'm assuming not, so have some compassion for yourself and just don't do anything drastic while you're panicking.
No. 1925470
File: 1710463224973.png (123.31 KB, 440x202, Blue_Cat_Blues_ending.png)
I'm so embarrassed with how my life is right now. I feel like I'm blacklisted from my own industry and with how small my field is it's almost impossible to go back. I've spent a year as an alcoholic trying to deal with both my parents terminal cancer and burned almost every bridge in this industry with how much I've been spread thin. I feel like a public spectacle. I've spent the past 7 months of my life in my bedroom only leaving when my boyfriend wants to go to the bar. I dropped out of my program, I have nothing. I just want a single shot to prove myself. All I ask is for one chance, please. Just one job.
No. 1925530
File: 1710466809539.gif (21.77 KB, 1200x1200, 37bd9746ab8df8c.gif)
how the fuck do you break up with stupid fucking moids when they always want to know "why why why"? simply saying i don't love them isn't enough, and it's like they want me to specify and go into detail how ugly their face is and how their autistic mannerisms are extremely embarrassing
No. 1925541
File: 1710467829460.png (573.25 KB, 655x702, IMG_9591.png)
>tfw ur a 21 year old post 9/11 zoomer that doesn’t look like a narrow-hipped tall instagram model who has an equally insanely attractive boyfriend to show off on social media and it depresses you because that means your (my) ugly ass can’t get hot guys, extremely isolated out of bad experiences, probably not even attracted to men anymore after bad experiences but still wanting to have intimate experiences but you just know some 7/10+ moid would give you an STD with his nasty unwashed dick and you realize all dicks look fucking disgusting and you hate men but for some reason you’re still yearning for touch and feel but I rather just fucking disappear I’m so tired. and then you rekindle with an old friend where you used to flirt with her boyfriend and then he ends up cheating on her with a fat bitch but then you find out she’s bisexual and there’s something going on between us and we start flirting but then ofc with modern female friendships it always feels like a restraining distance between you both because women can’t have deep friendships apparently. and then if you say any of this stuff the retards in the internet are gonna bombard you with “trauma dumping” whatever the fuck that means can’t I just be a girl who’s sad like let me be sad. mundane thoughts happening on a thursday night, gives me the slumps man. i must have been hitler in a previous life seriously i even had a dream where someone told me i used to know hitler. crazy
No. 1925562
>>1925557There's nothing wrong with you being sad. I'm tired of everyone acting like you're just supposed to bad bitch your way through it and act heartless or you're a
victim or something. Men have no incentive to treat women with respect now, everything is on the internet, people want to hurt you for online attention or just because they can, etc. They want you to take the bare minimum or stfu.
No. 1925619
>>1925605true. I feel a bit bad as she just wants to be sad in peace.
>>1925603maybe, still not sure whether or not the hitler thing was hyperbole kek.
No. 1925635
File: 1710472087457.gif (359.05 KB, 220x188, oaklinks-monkey.gif)
Thinking about what my non existent bf would be doing rn in the same way I used to look out the window in the car and pretend Inuyasha was running beside us in an insanely fast parkour
No. 1925653
File: 1710473493112.jpg (31.54 KB, 736x736, 1000014901.jpg)
I'm seriously sick of this shit.
So my brother got a girlfriend like a year ago, she seemed nice at first, but it's getting kind of annoying because she's basically living with us.
So we don't have any true privacy, which is quite annoying, we have to spend a lot more money on food, but she can't really help us with her part because she just graduated from medical school, which has such a bunch of little requirements that it's insane, so yeah, she can't work officially because she needs to jump through a bunch of hoops in order to get approved by a bunch of organizations so she can work.
So she's living for free with us, bringing her drama with her mom who is a huge ass BPD cow, criticizing our way of living but enjoying the perks of living like us. Like, she gets mad because we tell her that it's not okay to lay on the bed with your clothes that you wore at work, specially since she's a medic, so she has to like, talk to sick as fuck people and shit, and our immune systems are shit, like last year I was enjoying being with constant pneumonia for most of the year and had to take so many antibiotics, but she basically says we're being paranoid like, girl, you're a medic, you should be more like my uncle who was a doctor that used to get home and go straight to the shower because he knew he was working at a hospital surrounded by sick people. She also doesn't shower at night after working out and goes to sleep wearing her gym clothes which is ew, she loves to put her shoes on the coffee table and is always leaving random cups and butter knives everywhere.
She obsessed with getting married to my brother and having children "before it's too late" like yeah, giving birth to a child at 40 can't be as safe as giving birth to a child at 30 but we're not some ultimate bloodline that needs to give birth RIGHT NOW before it's TOO LATE. She always manages to talk about children at least once a day, every day, like jesus, I don't talk that much about children and I'm a fucking teacher.
The extra annoying part is that my aunt despises her and acts like a regency novel character whenever she talks about her, and what makes me feel mad and sad is that she nags me as if I was the one who told my retarded brother to go get a girlfriend who doesn't really want to even be a true doctor.
She bought the idea of getting rich because doctor = rich, and forgot the part in which even as a doctor, you need to be like really good at ir or you will have to offer your services for 50 dollars at best, and even then most people will go to any other doctor that's popular on Instagram because now everyone only cares about what Instagram says, but like, idk, I'm annoyed by her attitude, I consider that you should study what you actually care about or just study some random career like idk, administration or communications which are careers that people learn to love. Like how can a medic get any experience from working once a week every two weeks? I think that's insane and a waste of time.
In the end, I'm sad because my aunt said that she will basically run away from the country and stop talking to us if my brother gets married to his current girlfriend and it's so insane, like how did I end up in this shitty novela, what's next? I get a prophetic message that says that I have super powers or something?
No. 1925660
File: 1710473814166.jpg (Spoiler Image,21.17 KB, 320x320, 320px-Weregarurumon.jpg)
>>1925646nta but some of us imagined something very different running besides us….
No. 1925672
File: 1710474558985.jpg (65.64 KB, 735x1040, 1000014902.jpg)
>>1925660I used to imagine a hot sexy angel flying next to the window.
No. 1925783
>>1925771Or when you try to lean on others and they drop you for being “manipulative and
toxic” like wow thanks for taking out the trash for me I guess it was the least you could do.
No. 1925953
Terrified I might be pregnant. I am 30 and my boobs are so sore, tender, and heavy feeling and they’ve never felt this way in my life before. I’m weirdly moody in a way I’m not usually. My period is a day late but that’s not that weird, it’s the boob pain and heaviness. I’ve also had to take Zofran the past few days cause I’ve been nauseated. I’m honestly terrified. I don’t have the money for an abortion. I have celiac disease, so I got some cheap gluten containing food and purposefully ate it because I know damaging myself like that can cause a miscarriage. I’m only more suspicious now because I didn’t react in the normal way I do to gluten and don’t have any of the bad symptoms I usually have, apparently some pregnant people with celiac don’t have the terrible symptomatic reaction to gluten because pregnancy lowers your immune system so your body doesn’t attack the parasitic invader setting up shop. I’m disgusted, but don’t worry, I will absolutely kill myself if I can’t figure out how to get money for an abortion and if I don’t miscarry before a couple months if I really am pregnant, I refuse to be pregnant let alone give birth. I just wanna carve out my womb my damn self. Fucking disgusting. There’s nothing beautiful about an unwanted pregnancy, even wanted pregnancies are body horrors, fuck this.
No. 1925958
>>1925953These herbs can sometimes help induce a natural abortion Nonna!!
wormwood, rue, salvia, licorice root, mint pennyroyal, and calendula.
No. 1926333
>>1926328Damn that sounds like an incredibly
toxic dynamic to be in. Whether you owned her by staying up until 3am isn't going to matter in a few years when you graduate and she's no longer part of your daily life, so don't do stuff at expense of yourself..
No. 1926376
>>1926333Yeah shes really tiring to be around, i was never really this petty tbh but i cant stand her, even more when she admitted that she cant live by herself and shes glad i have her to cling on, i was taken back this confession but somehow the way she said it just feel ominous enough for me to really consider moving but i thought that i was exagerrating. No, she has a co-dependent to be w other people, this girl was angry that i went back home for a long two week vacation, even have her own mother plead for me to stay at the dorm and thought i "should take more pictures or videos of my cat so i would miss them less to not leave the dorm", being by herself really mustve hit her hard since she ended up hanging with other people in the dorm as well as take refuge at her friend's place for a couple of days until the time i ended up ariving at the dorm. She is always angry when i go back home, or just spend my weekend away from her, like that time she tried to guilt trip to come home early cause she has no one else to eat dinner with even tho my dad was here to visit me and check how i was doing and etc. She thought sending an anonymous screenshot of me having a christmas party with my friends on my dorm gc (cause we are staying at a 3 person room) and mentor would make me feel akin to guilt or smth. Im really going to move after this semester and she knows i have a "plan" that she always discourages, (thinks i could potentially become suicidal if i live alone or staying at a two person dorm would be harder if u dont get along with the person and etc.) On the first few weeks of living together, she already begged and planned that she would stay at an apartment my dad owns near the institution i will have my 4th internship, immediately after i told her of my living plans. Since the dorm is an temporary stay at a new far place from home.
She also cant go to any area by herself like the mall or the restaurants, and etc. She forced me to go to church because she had no one to go at that time even thought if its a short walk and there was a lot of dormers praying there.
I always thought why her bf broke up with her via online video chat after classes starts. And tbh im startimg to understand why and i hate thst im now the persom she is sticking close to.
No. 1926412
>>1926376This is incredibly tiring and
toxic behavior. I can imagine her clinging onto her coworkers when she gets into her profession, and that will be a recipe for disaster. She needs therapy and to learn to be on her own. What the fuck, Nonna. Exactly how many months, days, minutes do you have left of her? Hopefully a small enough amount.
No. 1926460
>>1926412About two months and a half. Ive been avoiding her like keeping my interactions to a minimum, going to class really early (cause this girl only starts her morning routine minutes before classes starts and she used to make me wait for her too, even checks up on me to see where i am) and even eat my meals at a time i know shes not hungry (because she also forced me to eat later despite protesting that i really am hungry). She also used to call me after every end of classes to know where i am, who im with and if i go to the dorm rn, cause gosh this girl is also a mess that she doesnt check our schedules and prefers to ask me constsntly about it as well as forget her key in the room amongst other things. She also doesnt like it when i have fun w my friends or like when i hang out with them and wants to be invited or invite herself, i always think she likes my friend group more than hers.
Also, she used to constantly asked me where my house is, my parents, siblings and etc. To a ridiculous degree that she would even ask what landmark is closest to my house, i answered vaguely, sometimes repeating answers i have mentioned or just the general and basic imformation its weird. Im really going to leave but i have this feeling she might send my parents a dm in facebook just to disagree otherwise, its a feeling id think she would do or have her mom do it for her.
Shes really driven to be a doctor its why she enrolled to this uni, thats 1 hr by plane from her hometown.
No. 1926578
>>1926483Damn
Nonnie I’d listen to house music and try your weird drug with you, we could be cringe together
No. 1926627
>>1926483Fuck I would join you with the other
nonnie in a heartbeat
No. 1926668
>>1926665that sounds like a cool major
what do you hate about it?
No. 1926672
>>1926671:/ deciding what kind of wageslave you'll be is tough
but we gotta fight it through
nonnie(:/) No. 1926791
>>1926782>>1926783Thank you both! My family lives far away, but I have saved up money for travel and have planned to leave this place later in spring. They are happy to have me back home. Your advice is great,
>>1926783, while it feels good to not fake laughs and smiles with him I definitely don't want to provoke him. Just venting here helped a lot in terms of keeping my head cool until I can leave.
No. 1926795
>>1926777>Choosing to live with himNonnie, don't be so hard on yourself. He had the power to set a boundary of not letting you live with him, but he welcomed it because he knows he won't have to do so much housework anymore and potential split of finances. I can only assume your finances are split, hopefully evenly. Premarital cohabitation comes with tons of negatives, mostly for the women in the relationships, and breakups will be similar to divorces. Unfortunately it's way too common for modern couples to experience what it's like to divorce without signing legal paperwork. Breakups now are like a challenge and traumatizing, compared to how breakups used to be, they were just "We're not so compatible" and the rest of your life didn't have to change so drastically; No breaking leases, no moving out costs, no changes of address, no deciding which items you've bought together who's going to keep it.
No. 1926812
File: 1710545923073.jpg (35.25 KB, 564x531, 3w2870.jpg)
>>1924127>>1924176i'm starting to think the farmhands themselves are regulars in that thread. that's why they refuse to do anything about it
(just report the baiters ffs) No. 1926886
File: 1710551403566.jpg (53.17 KB, 720x711, d0df81846c3dbac36ef3d048eb6778…)
Moids are the most selfish and retarded fuckers and I'm stupid for trying to help them. A "friend" of mine is going through a breakup and he keeps moping about wanting to kill himself and texting his ex that he will do it but then says that he doesn't want to pressure her and come across as pathetic….that stupid fuck. I told him that he's being manipulative as hell and that he is basically pressuring her into responding even though she told him that she doesn't want any contact with him. I told him to seek support from friends and family and to check into a mental hospital and he just laughed it off. Stupid fuck I wish I could just tell him to kill himself then. His poor ex. I hope that she has blocked him.
No. 1926990
File: 1710557621208.gif (27.84 KB, 636x640, pepe-go-ree.gif)
>see a reel on Instagram of a cat with cancer
>donate because feel bad
>it's a scam
>of well it wasn't much money anyway I guess it's not too bad
>scammer is actually a mtf troon
>rage
>request refund through PayPal
>get most of my money back instantly
>alls good
No. 1927043
File: 1710561348953.jpeg (92.36 KB, 941x818, IMG_7319.jpeg)
My ex dumped the girl he got with 11 days after we broke up and got a new girlfriend 2 days later. She started posting about it which inspired me to unblock him and tell him off for cheating on me and having multiple rape allegations. I called him a faggot and a whore and said they should name a strain of AIDS after him but after all that I don’t feel any better. I feel worse because I can’t erase all the memories of the good times we had together.
No. 1927082
File: 1710563161717.jpg (37.35 KB, 750x750, 1611734909597.jpg)
All twitter is nowadays is shock value gore, porn, racism and misogynybait. Made a new account to talk to a friend who doesn't use whatsapp or discord, and because I don't follow anyone my whole feed is just "This immigrant is COMPLAINING about the country SHE moved to!" Blocked. "No way fr wait for it. [video of a guy shot in the head]" Blocked. "retro80sanimecaps retweeted: She is a liar who grifted an entire court [some rando woman.jpg]" Blocked. Scroll down some rando SFW twitter and immediately there's hentai instead of being behind a locked account. Blocked.
God all these accounts need to STFU. I know interacting makes it worse so I block instead but I still need to vent reeeeeeeeeeee.
No. 1927158
File: 1710568591283.png (125.03 KB, 275x275, 1702991605768.png)
>hear cat meowing outside in middle of the night
>go outside
>across the street at the pretty two-story house there's a frosted glass window and what appears to be two naked people in the brightly lit bathroom
>both appear to be men
do they just think no one can see them? ugh.
No. 1927162
File: 1710569164159.jpg (24.79 KB, 275x239, lolcat (2).jpg)
>>1927160to be fair I'm not really spurning their latent homosexuality and/or miniature nudist cult but it made me more morbidly fascinated. I stared for about a minute tbh and I have 0 shame, I could see everything from my doorstep. I can't imagine living there for 5 years and not realizing literally everyone can see considering how the window is practically castle-sized.
No. 1927165
i'm completely fucked, and i apologize for the lengthy rant. i just need to get this off my chest. i was working a job while saving for college momentarily where one of my bosses wanted to befriend me, and as a autistic woman without any friends i was very excited by this, but then he wanted to go on a date with me. i was so sad he didn't want to just be my friend, but he told me how convinced he was that i liked him to, against my best judgment, i said yes. i ghosted him afterwards, and just couldn't continue. he called me and told me he would be willing to quit our job or transfer so i wouldn't be uncomfortable and it scared me. and then he then made it seem like everyone from work was going to the movies after a few months, so i went, and it was only us. it weirded me out but it was a good time, so i kept going to the movies with him. he got a boyfriend, then got a girlfriend, so i thought he was over me. i moved 4 hours away to go to college, and he came and visited me for my birthday, (and paid for a really nice dinner), and then visited again for a few days during a break. he got me drunk and paid for a bunch of fun stuff and while i was wasted he asked me to date him, and even though my mind screamed at me no, i said yes but added my school has to be the priority. fine. he ended up inviting me to a new years party, so i went, and i got black out drunk for the first time i woke up to him having sex with me, and since i have vaginismus it hurt so badly, but he kept telling me it was okay and i was too delirious to really do anything afterwards he told me he didn't want to seem like he took advantage of me, and drove me home. he lives 4 hours away so i thought i wouldn't have to hear from him, but since he is a decade older than me he sends me shitty memes from facebook and pesters me to sext him. he paid for a super expensive experience for the two of us and is driving over to visit with a bunch of gifts, insisting he knows he love bombs me but its how he shows his affection, and i feel sick. i'm not attracted to him and i feel fucking trapped. literally fuck my life. i keep dreaming of my girlfriend i ruined everything with and i want it all to be over, i can't focus on my studies at all.
No. 1927175
>>1927165I’m so sorry anon what he did was fucking rape and he knows it. You have every right to go to the police about it (but we all know what police and courts are like, so nobody blames you if you don’t)
Send him a text, and in no uncertain terms tell him you believe he took advantage of you while drunk, you’re not interested and you never want to see him again. If he shows up at your house, call the police. If he argues, ignore/block him. I’ve been in your situation, I have low self esteem and I tend to just go with it if someone wants to have sex with me and I struggle to say no, but I’m working on it. Love you nonna hope you’re ok <3
No. 1927198
>>1927068Can you crack a window and turn on a fan to help dissipate the food smells? Maybe spray a bit of Ozium? A little goes a very long way! You can also get an air purifier or make your own with a box fan and air filter but I’m not sure how much it will actually help with smells. I hate food smells too so I know where you’re coming from. Mormons kinda freak me out but I’m also obsessed with them and I’ve known some truly amazing Mormon women. Their religion seems them as lesser and I feel for them. They can be super handy, creative, and really solid genuine friends. My mom has a Mormon friend who’s in her 70’s and is practically Martha Stewart IRL and treasures my mother’s friendship largely because my mom ISN’T Mormon or religious as all. She hand made me Halloween costumes when I was little (one was a replica of a Barbie dress I’ll treasure forever) and is helping me build furniture now that I’m in a rough place.
If you poke around in the kitchen and ask about what she’s cooking the smells won’t seem so pungent once you get to your room. IME Mormon gals really are very nice and I guess I’m encouraging you to try to befriend her.
No. 1927262
File: 1710581627643.jpg (9.88 KB, 270x221, 1710098139984096.jpg)
I got my ears pierced for the first time and it was done with a piercing gun. Now I know it's not the end of the world but I'm currently in panic mode because everywhere I look people were always saying not to get them done with a gun, the pharmacist said "well it's okay we've done it with a gun for years and nobody has ever had a problem", I listened to her, now I'm incredibly anxious that something is going to go wrong down the line. I know it's not that serious and that plenty of people had them done this way before but my brain keeps screaming "you fucked up!!! now you'll get an infection and your earlobes will be fucked up forever". I lowkey want to cry. I think this is proof that I'm mentally ill
No. 1927271
File: 1710583115494.jpg (44.39 KB, 500x446, rainycat.jpg)
I'm a bit hurt my dad said he doesn't want to leave his house or money to us kids when he dies, he'd rather give the money to the government/society by some sort of "it's for the greater good" idea. He's not very political at all so it feels like he just thinks his kids are a lost cause and that we don't deserve it or something. His son aka my brother is a (high function) autistic who lives with staff support and he can't work a normal job so he'll always be poor. (He's not even a deranged one like you see online, he's very book smart and finds degenerate stuff gross). Having some money would definitely greatly improve his life quality and security.
I also have some issues so I can't work full time but I do work 75% and even do art commissions on the side, I don't make enough money to ever buy a house (in these insane housing price times) either. As the female I'm the one who's "expected" (but there's no pressure) to have kids one day too, he wouldn't even want to make sure his own future grandkids are financially more stable?
He's not super rich or anything and it's not really about the money, it's more so that I feel like we're not even treated as family. Like you really want to give the fucking government money over making sure your own kids or grandkids are ok? Who is society even for if it's not your loved ones? And he said it in front of me like it wasn't controversial or weird in any way. Like of course my daughter sitting across the table should be left without any inheritance from me. Of course her autisitc brother should be left on his own too. And it feels like if I brought it up and complained I'd just be accused of being lazy and greedy and told "just make your own money".
No. 1927345
File: 1710588205549.png (Spoiler Image,606.8 KB, 673x845, Screenshot0.png)
Thinking about what happened to the tabby cat in China last year on this day (spoilered picrel from felineguardians because it explains the situation, but it's just deeply disturbing). Three days of suffering at the hands of some waste of oxygen abusive male, and he stayed brave to the end. His life is worth more than every animal abuser on the planet. The moid didn't get jailed because China's a shithole, but at least now people are aware of his "community", have started doxing the participants and are lobbying for laws against animal abuse.
I'm sad that there's so little I can do for animals as one person. I try to support animal rescues, love my own pets and like/share related things, but it doesn't feel like enough. I wish I could put hits on people who do this, they shouldn't be walking free.
It's like it's not enough for some people that humans are pointlessly tortured every single day. They have to include animals, too. They're always weak, impotent failures with no power taking out their frustrations on living beings who have no voice, and most of the "people" who sell that content are involved in CP too.
No. 1927364
File: 1710589547787.jpg (29.76 KB, 500x568, images-2.jpg)
This is written for myself in third person
Truth is nobody cares about you or your life or your family background because no matter what you're still a piece of shit. No one cares about your deep traumatic past no one gives a shit if it made you the person you are today. There surely is an explanation! But it's not an excuse for you to be this unlikeable. Yes I know you're scared of people. I think in the end all you can do is isolate and prevent anyone talking to you ever again so you don't hurt others. Don't make new friends, you know that's a mistake even if that's what feels healthy. Stop showing emotion specially the bad ones in front of people. Just go away, actually. Sleep the days off unless you're going to be productive. Being this angry at life and at others is making you insufferable, even if they did you wrong you're still a bitch and they're still right about you. They all can see through you. Yeah they hurt you but you hurt them back and it's even worse. Because you're always threading in a fine line between being completely truly alone and nothingness. What will you chose? Death? You always chose that.
You can tell people you get hurt easily and are sensitive and do things wrong unwillingly all you want. Truth is they don't want you for a reason. Even the ones who like you only do so superficially or have saint levels of patience with you. Yes you were hurt! By everyone you trust. They even abused you. But you are a piece of shit. Take your sleeping pills and go to sleep. Sleep this away. Sleep every other day away. Sleep it off. Do so until god kills you.
No. 1927434
>>1927278>>1927386>>1927393I've spent my whole life thinking if I got rich it would be so nice to give money to my parents so they can live more comfortably, I even often go out of my budget to buy my parents presents for birthdays and christmas just because I want to see them happy, and now my dad doesn't even want me to inherit anything from him. He said the money should go to "society" as if he's saying his own kids aren't even part of society? Does he see us like some weird outcasts, hopeless cases not worth investing in? And the thing is I do get along great with my dad, I've always looked up to him and thought he had my back. So it hurts extra bad.
>>1927371>Have you talked about this to him? I've long realized that a LOT of people from the older generations genuinely don't understand that buying property is out of reach for people on an average incomeI've mentioned wanting to live in a house (because apartments genuinely make me claustrophobic), he just thinks I'm being silly and that renting cheap apartments is a totally fine to live. So it's not even that he thinks I'll be able to afford it on my own anyway, he thinks I'm silly for even aiming at it.
No. 1927452
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>>1927271my parents say shit like this too. its a form of existential boomer wailing and negging. they're mad I don't care and have resigned, not just from their BS but form the total worldview they have. your dad wants you to be like NOOO daddy why?? so he can feel powerful in the final toot that is his pathetic boomer existence.
No. 1927478
>>1927460He's not freaking out because you'll fall but because you fixing it is directly calling out his uselessness. I've had things like that happen.
To them
>manly promise of action or repair (that will never happen)is preferable to
>you fix it yourself and actually have use of the item No. 1927486
>>1927478kek, you're right,
nonnie. i forgot that something similar happened a few years ago when i moved into my first apartment and he had to help me put together my bed because the pieces were very heavy. it was a nightmare because he didn't understand the instructions. it was an ikea bed, btw. later i put together my other furniture and it was so fucking easy and i sent my parents pics of my stuff. my dad was so annoyed that he came over again the next weekend to put together my wardrobe with me but i made him listen to my instructions and when we were finished he said it was super easy and the bed must have been especially hard. of course that was not the case, he just refuses to heed instructions because he's a dumb moid.