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No. 961901
Hell broke loose
Previous thread:
>>>/ot/955384 No. 961932
File: 1636260993420.jpeg (293.9 KB, 1170x1328, E451BB7F-0768-4845-BF50-5C500F…)
The tinfoil thread is legit schizo
No. 961986
File: 1636266961479.jpeg (52.36 KB, 450x468, B51A758A-C6E6-4614-8B4F-D5156A…)
I keep having nightmares about my old job. It was my first job and my boss played like, mind games on me and was a weirdo in general. I remember being on edge in there all day because I never knew what he wanted me to do since he wouldn’t tell me straight and tell me to “figure it out” but I was a teenager who had no experience in the industry?? And then when I’d screw up he’d get mad at me and give me the silent treatment and treat me like an idiot. The second year I worked there I finally had a conversation with him where I said I thought we had really severe communication issues and that I was trying so hard to do well but I couldn’t understand his instructions (or lack thereof) and he just told me that I was purposely disobeying his orders and doing “what I wanted” and that it was a discipline issue on my end. (also he paid me 0.25¢ above min wage for doing advanced level work)
Now that I’m graduated and getting my first real professional job I can’t shake the ingrained feeling of incompetence he instilled in me and I feel as if I’m destined to fail and embarrass myself on the job no matter how hard I try. I know it sounds stupid but it almost feels like I have some sort of PTSD related to this industry and I hate it but I have no other choice but to go into it.
No. 961998
>>961986I get what you mean. I fucking hate bosses who are like "LOL YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT
EXACTLY WHAT I WANT BY YOURSELF WITHOUT ME TELLING YOU? IT'S YOUR FAULT" it's so immature and childish but they NEVER admit their communication fault.
I doubt this is ptsd but this is surely
abusive and I hope he dies.
No. 962024
File: 1636270414334.jpg (241.03 KB, 1280x720, tumblr_1dfb41268404465a0a4e805…)
I actually hate everyone and wish to never interact with another human being besides my so-called online friends ever again
No. 962032
File: 1636270682140.jpg (253.74 KB, 1280x720, tumblr_9519807370b10d3da3e8858…)
>>962031Thanks for being so understanding anon
No. 962044
File: 1636271748955.jpeg (29.59 KB, 669x486, BB4E088C-B03A-4076-B2ED-CF906B…)
Why are some of you people so WEIRD. I want to sperg out in the thread that prompted this but I must stay my hand
No. 962065
>>962041Tell him thanks, you appreciated the time with him, and then bye. Ignore him for a while and his ass will come crawling back I bet.
If not oh well, he wasted your time with this anyway.
Sorry, good luck nona.
No. 962071
>>962063Samefag I just remembered the last time a scrote approached me randomly, it wasn’t even dark and I was waiting in the street to meet a friend. He was obviously drunk, told me to smile and said we should go get food. and hung around for a few minutes baffled as to why I wasn’t placating him with a smile or a shy little giggle. The most I did was flip him off but I wish I’d done more. I wish I’d screamed at him and caused a total scene. There was a bus coming down the street. I wish I’d thrown him in front of it.
I hate men and I wish that we murdered them unprovoked as often as they did us. Maybe that would make them leave us alone.
No. 962099
File: 1636274868639.jpg (295.07 KB, 1080x1038, Screenshot_20211107-094800_Eco…)
This article is almost identical to my situation, it's crazy, even to the details. It so aptly describes everything I've been going through. I love the positive ending, too. It gives me hope, as it seems this girl knows exactly where I've been and is already in the future.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/elizabeth-hart/2015/12/this-is-how-it-feels-to-be-the-rebound/ No. 962114
>>962081Like drink spiking, but instead of slipping something into a drink scrotes are now just straight up stabbing women with needles and injecting them with date rape drugs.
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/needle-spiking-nightclubs-women-injections-b1942724.htmlWith drink spiking, at the very least you could cover your drink or control your intake, but now, short of going out in a suit of armour, there’s not really anything women can do to protect themselves from this. Tbh I wish we would go back to the days of gender segregated social clubs, at least then we’d be able to go out with our friends and have a good time without the risk of some man trying to fucking stab us with poison.
No. 962156
>>962107Yeah I agree. He was too young, right out of a relationship and he probably didn't know what he wanted with me and we misunderstood each other. I appreciate that we talked it out so soon. I regret making my hurt apparent (I cried) but I genuinely liked him and couldn't pretend I didn't care. He was so chill and gentle. I can dream that we'll meet again in future when he gets to be single for a bit but probably not.
>>962108I'm OP, are you pretending to be me?
No. 962218
File: 1636289341517.jpg (110.79 KB, 1000x918, basque-burnt-cheesecake-4c.jpg)
I didn't know until recently that "binge eating" is a thing, or that someone made a name for this behavior and it's an actual disorder. Now I wonder if it's possible that I'm suffering from it. It happens every weekend, I'm buying literally 1kg of cake and I'm eating it in the span of a few hours, there's also other sweets and big sandwiches, and I'm eating all this shit until I'm having diarrhea or my stomach hurts so much I can't eat anymore and I feel sick. Because of my job and bad sleeping hygiene it's hard for me to make meals for myself during the week and I'm often hungry and very weak at work. I thought that I'm just trying to "make up" for it during weekends with as much caloric food as possible. I don't know. What do you think?
No. 962225
>>962218Maybe, depending on where you live and the money you have, you could try buying some healthy prepped meals.
If not, you could try cooking on the weekends so all you have to do during the week is just put everything in a microwave and eat.
No. 962227
File: 1636289859076.jpg (487.63 KB, 1076x701, Screenshot_20211107-135737_Fir…)
>>962211Girl same. Especially the apology part. I thnik I even posted about it here like an hour ago lol
Relationships are like drugs. Just keep the no contact and get busy with anything to distract yourself. Eventually it fades but yea, flare ups suck and it's good to let it out. You'll be okay
No. 962268
>>962218As someone who has struggled for 14 years privately with this, then a few months finally was diagnosed, I do suggest you seeking help. My doc has been supportive and helpful and for the first time I can remember, I’ve been binge free for 4 months STRAIGHT . and I’ve lost weight, but in a healthy manner.
I hope you do seek treatment. Therapy helps too.
Take care
nonnie. ♥
No. 962333
i keep seeing my women friends sharing these posts about male mental health, normalize this normalize that, it’s okay to cry, that kind of stuff. i NEVER see moids sharing these kind of posts or sharing anything that supports male mental health. it’s always only women that are trying to help these stupid fucks.
the comments on these posts are always filled with men bitching and moaning, about how horrible/emotional women are, how the supportive post is a lie, how waah waah they can’t get laid, women will never understand what it’s like to be a man, it goes on.
this is why it annoys tf out of me every time i see one of my friends sharing these retarded posts, is it pickme shit or do some women actually care about chimpanzees mental health?
if a man ever complains to me about muh mental health or cries about some shit in front of me i’m straight up just gonna tell him to kill himself. more men should an hero, the world would be a better place
No. 962347
File: 1636303097419.jpg (90.2 KB, 681x569, Tumblr_l_193638811260815.jpg)
>>962343lack of mods probably
It's also on page 2 now just hope the image isn't on the frontpage
No. 962358
File: 1636304423399.jpeg (865.49 KB, 702x1021, C1356A2B-FC43-431C-99E9-FC6DC1…)
Didn't want to blogpost in the thread to this post, but walking around Blockbuster and seeing these covers as a little girl sucked ass, but I couldn't pinpoint why at the time.
No. 962381
>>962358these look like something my dad would watch in front of me as a child
>>962372mtf thread
No. 962382
File: 1636306759281.jpg (64.62 KB, 735x724, 071aae0d79a552ea7d52eb8138d2e8…)
>>962358Men really are a coomer hivemind. It's an exaltation for them, to only see them as wallets.
No. 962464
File: 1636312670756.jpg (201.08 KB, 1200x1180, Tumblr_l_941736596377265.jpg)
I want to sit in a cafe in a big city while it's dark outside and there are pretty neon lights everywhere. I just want to feel alive and calm rather than living in a fog, unable to change anything because stupid money. And I need to stop posting cats
No. 962468
>>962464Same,
nonnie. Lack of money is keeping me from living my life.
No. 962497
File: 1636315150205.png (157.29 KB, 591x273, 1479615608873.png)
Friend constantly tries to make herself look rational and above drama but then not even an hour later tells me about some dumb fandom discourse bullshit she saw on tumblr or discord. I just don't give a shit about any of that and don't want to open my messages to see a screenshot of some retard's take on video games.
Then when I get to talk with her and a mutual friend of ours, she takes over the conversation with this fandom drama nonsense.
I love her so much but this is the biggest thing that annoys me about her.
No. 962546
I’m in an abusive relationship and I can’t get out. I have no one to talk to. I have nowhere to go to. Even if I pack my stuff and I leave, I know how things work in my country and basically I will be all alone in a month or so.
Today we were going to have lunch at grandmothers’s boyfriend house. He didn’t want to go as per usual, even when this angel of a woman raised him for more than 10 years, so of course he was already in a bad mood. Then his father made a dumb comment about something he needs to buy and he basically stormed off screaming that he doesn’t want to put up with our shit.
His grandmother was cooking at that moment and she didn’t even realise he left until we told her; she couldn’t believe he parted without telling her goodbye. She also tried to call him a few more times even when I told her he wasn’t coming back.
We had to stay having lunch with her when I was basically panicking but trying to compose myself. She asked me if he did what he did today before and I lied. And I lied when I told her it wasn’t that bad every time. He’s worse, so much worse. She made a comment about him not being talkative but that was good because it meant he can’t offend anyone. I had to go to the bathroom to weep.
She said that I was such a good girl and that she doesn’t like how he can’t even reply to me, because before she was convinced that if I had asked him, he would have stayed. This made me cry again.
And I hate myself for making up excuses in my head for him, I hate myself because I always defend him when he doesn’t deserve it, I hate myself because even now that I’m crying I know deep down it’s not my fault and of course if he’s the kind of person that can do this to his own grandmother who only wants the best for him, I can’t expect any better.
I’m tired of feeling ashamed, every time someone at my work mentions something related to domestic abuse I can’t look them in the eyes because I feel like I can’t speak out, and I know I can but it’s so, so hard. Almost ten years of suffering this hell, without no one knowing. No one could and can tell and I’m sure of it, it’s just so hard.
No. 962579
>>962546>I hate myself for making up excuses in my head for him, I hate myself because I always defend him when he doesn’t deserve itSorry if i sound obtuse or cold but why do you do this? I never understood why some abuse
victims do this even as a
victim myself, it just never crossed my mind doing these type of things for someone that hurts me
No. 962656
File: 1636326422692.jpg (69.58 KB, 1080x1080, 365793764.jpg)
>>962607Same bestie. Scrotes who are a ticking time bomb waiting to ask me out then ghost when I reject their advances, and autistic bitches who only talk to me when I message them first. My most frequent interaction with so called friends is sending memes in niche Discord servers. I used to have a drinking group but when I quit, most of them went BPD on me. It was fun for a little while but the forced drama and self-pitying got old very fast. It was the gross kind of beer drinking too not really the trying new drinks and making creative coctails kind of fun. I wish we could be friends. My current BF is jealous of my new job and I can't take it any longer.
No. 962663
>>962432Half time update
I am big mad and big drunk. Being a Packers fan is so irritating
No. 962670
File: 1636327234241.jpg (27.25 KB, 600x600, sku_217626_1.jpg)
>>962607>>962667I had a friend, beautiful, unique girl who did this all the time. She would have boyfriend after boyfriend constantly, and would ask me for advice and complain about him cheating or being a sleaze. I would tell her that is not alright and she should break up. Few days later she would come back saying he apologized and said he loves me! and I can not criticize him after that or I'm just jealous… Sure girlie.
No. 962776
File: 1636336782062.jpg (61.25 KB, 1060x860, 0f1e2e23a521bd7ea65a24c0a3ae61…)
>>961901IM SO LONELY WAHHHHH NOBODY CARE MEE MY GF LEFT AND NOBODY WANT MEEEEEEE I WANT TO BE HELD AND KISSED WAAAAAAAAAA
No. 962833
File: 1636344265172.png (5 KB, 605x377, FB2syz-VIAIOpJ-.png)
hope all the girls/boys that bullied me in highschool live mediocre lives. yeah this is inspired by vendetta-chan.
but it warms my heart somewhat to see that the two main girls are fat, ugly, already possessed of multiple children, and stuck with hideous balding men. it's what they deserve, especially after making everyone believe they were going to go off and become famous or whatever kek. nope, you didn't get famous, you had a baby with some fatso and dropped out of uni.
anyway i want to send my mom a text convincing her to just ask me what i want for the holidays. she's gonna try and buy me designer clothing that i don't need or want.
No. 962836
File: 1636344609869.jpeg (4.58 MB, 3024x4032, D8012B5F-08F3-4F77-B524-35A9D8…)
I went to an actual anime con yesterday for the first time, I had fun but it made me really realize how lonely I am having no regular friends or acquaintances outside of people I sometimes see at meets and have nice little chats with, I really wish I had regular everyday friends though you know? It gets lonely when you only have online friends to regularly chat with knowing that you can’t meet up with them and and shoot the shit irl.
Anyway here’s what I got which makes me sort of happy.
Shopping is my best friend <3
No. 962886
File: 1636350202672.jpg (95.6 KB, 1024x576, Shoopper.jpg)
i am on an impulsive streak with shopping for sweets. at least i am not fat. i do feel pathetic for it though.
No. 962898
File: 1636350826478.png (96.44 KB, 258x225, anime.png)
>>962886why are her fingers
No. 962931
File: 1636352375416.png (23.23 KB, 110x110, 1592733110439.png)
>>962845i mean i have more worries than that (which i cry about itt all the time) i just saw vengeance-chan and got inspired to talk about them.
also these girls did everything from shit talk me intensely behind my back (while pretending they were my friends, of course), to spread a rumor that i was going to bomb our school (???) which had me further labeled as class freak, to lock me in the orchestra room, and more than that, so. it's kind of hard to forget them kek.
anyway they lived out their regina george meangirls fantasies in hs, now they're washed out and used up. i honestly love to see it
No. 962941
File: 1636353320142.jpeg (19.31 KB, 576x532, E8A9E6DD-C753-4F57-A42A-3D4B90…)
A few weeks ago I got hit by a teen driver who was distracted by the passengers he legally wasn’t allowed to carry and rolled right through a give way sign and into my drivers side door, and today the car I’ve had since high school has been written off, after weeks of the autoshop assuring me that they would just put a new door in, and now I have to find a new car with the bismal insurance payout. For the first time in my life I wish I lived in America just so I could sue the useless little bastard who hit me.
No. 962946
I do not have BPD. Why is it so hard to accept I was abused my entire life and lived a shit life and it resulted in immense cynicism and emotional dysregulation? I hate mental illness diagnosis and all the symptoms are overlapping either way. It seems that humans that endure extreme misfortune or abuse develop a lot of symptoms from different mental illnesses such as BPD, ADHD, PTSD and so on. I think they just need therapy and to be understood, not to be placed in a harsh stereotype, not to mention many of the times what we believe about ourselves subconsciously modifies our attitudes towards ourselves and how we present to the world, if you believe you have BPD or ADHD I think you are making it worse by subconsciously entertaining that idea. There's something "wrong" with most "normal" people, but "normal" people refuse to believe or state that there's something wrong with them because it would make them less normal. This mental illness thing is horrible and very "conformist" or I don't know how to call it. It has created more chaos in society than it has done good. Evil or bad people still don't believe there's something wrong with them. Actual mentally ill people get demonized and not treated properly or placed into a harsh stereotypes. It also caused this new internet phenomenon where people that obviously do not suffer from mental illness or did not even undergo abuse bad enough to make them suffer appropriate mental illness for validation and attention to the point it's very hard to define to someone else who is or was not abused or who suffers or doesn't suffer from mental illness. To me at least and from the knowledge I do have about abuse and mental illness and from my experience with abuse and mental illness it is quite evident when someone has actually gone through it. They show it in their body language, they shake, hide themselves, second guess themselves, fail in normal areas of life and so on, it has also become apparent to me when someone is faking or exaggerating. Again, in abused people the symptoms are extremely overlapping. A lot of abuse sufferers struggle with ADHD symptoms, BPD symptoms, AVPD symptoms and so on. So, shut the fuck up scrote and stop telling me I have BPD everytime I say something you don't like and pointing out how I have "emotional dysregulation". No shit I am broken when I survived such atrocities with literally no support system and I've always had to do everything by myself, but you telling me I have BPD everytime I tell you something you don't like is quite suspicious. I will also not take my meds anymore. I refuse to and I think medication often times is given to abused individuals or people that don't fit the mold to shut their mouths or make them quiet, it's a form of dehumanization that desensitizes you from abuse, when you as a human being have the normal reaction to it. It's normal to feel outraged or have negative feelings if you were given a miserable life. I'm not refusing to get out of my situation, I am getting out of my situation as I am writing this. I am just refusing to humiliate myself anymore and just accept other people telling me what is true when in fact I already know what is true or not and have thought about it very deeply and I know many things. The vent thread will be my only friend from now on.
No. 963025
File: 1636365950504.jpg (24.44 KB, 564x542, 327760ac0d059d4f583da62cd167d5…)
This is such a we live in a society tier post I apologize in advance.
I've been reflecting on the past 21 years of my life and it made me sad.
I was a bright smart child being able to read and write at the age of four but because of my cult-like upbringing I never developed social skills and essentially lived under a rock where I didn't know anything about the outside world outside of the books I read and didn't know anything about what people my age were into, I was alienated and an outcast but the older I got the more I saw how different I was I noticed that even my accent was unusual and foreign, I was and still am always out of the loop even on online spaces I couldn't fit in which lead to me feeling defeated and regressing in everything I was once good at, I don't have a desire to do anything anymore because it won't matter, no one will care.
>>it's all in your head, go out there and make friends!
I put my happy face on and try to make friends but they are just weirded out by me, the few I managed to get their numbers ghosted me, the others avoid me.
No one wants to have me around even the weird kids, no one ever did, even online I was chased off by people who were supposed to be weird like me.
I fabricated interest in many things that I thought would make me more relatable with other girls like makeup and dramas and generally tried to get into the interests of the people I talk to like learning about African hair because I wanted to be friends with this black girl but I keep on coming off as creepy and weird I don't have a proper social filter to regulate my emotions and drive and only realise too late, I've invested too much too many times only to be let down.
At some point, I started fixating on my physical appearance blaming it for my social failure but objectively I'm around average and if a finger had to be pointed it would go towards my parents but I don't really blame them because they thought they were doing the best for me and they still think it's a good thing that I can't homogenize with the rest of society and use it as a justification for the way they made me
>>look, this is what society is
I'm tired I just want to be normal and have a normal mediocre life, I daydream about a normal average life constantly, I spend hours lurking online profiles of girls my age who are living the normie life and just swallow my pain wishing I can experience this one day.
I keep telling myself I've had it but I keep seeking companionship because I'm just so alone
>tfw too human to live like a psychopath with no need for friends
No. 963070
File: 1636372389886.jpg (24.24 KB, 590x550, 1634817367667.jpg)
I have an inappropriate crush.
It's consuming my life and I don't care to stop it.
No. 963080
>>963075nothing illegal
nonnie but either way I'm not acting on it.
No. 963093
File: 1636377135644.jpg (211.17 KB, 650x660, 1575284361984.jpg)
>>963068>>962946Don't worry too much anon bpd is just modern day hysteria. If you have bad experience with talk therapy there's always other therapy like somatic or REM. And if you don't want meds anymore don't take them, ppl act like they're required but they're not, not like you're hearing voices or some shit. I was conned into taking antidepressants and even though I only took them for a few months my ability to feel emotions has been permanently dampened. Listen to your body.
No. 963111
File: 1636380031605.jpg (285.25 KB, 1200x1070, bath.jpg)
I live with 3 disgusting roommates. Im so sick of it. I have to vent here because I don't want to keep bothering my friends and family with the constant frustrations I have. They throw parties every weekend (which is pretty annoying as it's hard to sleep- not to be a loser, I don't attend bc I dont like them) and they just… don't clean up after. Cans everywhere, sticky spills on every surface, random shit left around the house… when I try to talk to them and ask them to clean up, they treat me like I'm a passive-aggressive monster when really I'm communicating openly about how their disrespect of our space makes me feel. The sink right now is absolutely disgusting - pans and dishes in there from 3 days ago, egg shells and other food scraps, no way to use the sink. As soon as I get home and start to make my coffee one of them runs in the kitchen, gets in my way, and starts cleaning up as if I'm their supervisor or something. It's so frustrating that I just have to go to my room and take a breath because these people are adults and they act like children. One of them has had a disgusting cough for 2 weeks, won't get tested for covid, keeps having people over to the house, and won't cough in her sleeve. I can't wait to not have roommates, but where I live studios/1 bedrooms are from $1200-1600 and I just can't afford to live alone. Hopefully, I will live with my partner who I know is tidy and respectful. I am really just not cut out for roommates. I feel like I am trying to maintain a clean space while living with toddlers and it is extremely weighing on my mental health. I don't need everything to be spic and span. I just don't want to walk into the bathroom and have my feet be soaking wet because they don't know how to wipe themselves after a shower. I don't want to have to walk over beer cans to get to our washing machine. I don't want to have to politely ask them to be quiet when its 11pm on a Tuesday and they're playing guitar. I don't want to have to take all of the dishes out of the sink to fill a cup of water. I am tired. Talking to them does nothing at all, they won't change.
No. 963116
>>963105>but why weren't you your authentic self?I swear therapists are some of the most out of touch people I've ever encountered. Which is worrying because they're the ones that are supposed to help you through things in life, but they often sound to dumb and sheltered almost. I had a therapist who told me something along the lines of "Oh anon, you must remember that you must think of youself and that others can't affect you! You're free do to anything!" in response to me feeling anxious and depressed because of my mother insulting and yelling at me and my father being unstable while I was stuck at home with them because of no job, money and friends. Sure! There's no way my father acting aggressive and wrecking things left and right could cause me harm, and someone constantly putting me down will not have any effect on my self-esteem! Ffs.
Change therapist if you can anon.
No. 963154
>>962946>>963093Based. The creature in you that rebels against the retarded world, that you can not keep quiet when something is too far wrong - that is the inner child, the real you; verily it is the human spirit. When you struggle to keep it in & act meek when you are straining to speak, remember, you do this for society as a favor.
People feel like something is wrong with them because their inner creature is screaming. They try to silence it with drugs & alcohol & drugs that therapytards recommend. It never works for long. What the creature needs is to be freed now and again. Go in the woods and run and scream and shred the leaves.
>>963102>>962996>>962999>>963003>>963060Cringe pill pushers. Question: when you're alone in the woods, are you happy? If the answer is yes, if by ypurself in solitude you are content, then you don't need anything from anyone. If the answer is no, idk what your issue is, you're probably just a normie who doesn't like to be alone. "Extrovert." And you shouldn't try to speak to, for, or about what actually special people should do. Not even gonna get into the side effects & health consequences of psych pills which are Real Bad.
No. 963171
File: 1636385006918.jpg (52.28 KB, 500x890, ah.jpg)
Remind me to never doubt myself when it comes to dealing with severely mentally ill bitches again. She knows what she's doing, even if she pretends she doesn't.
No. 963189
>>963141NTA
>stabilizing medication that stops you from going off the deep end is ackchyually the same as lobotomywatch out, we have a galaxy brain over here
>>963154>Cringe pill pushers. Question: when you're alone in the woods, are you happy?No bitch, I still would have wanted to kill myself because my brain chemistry was fucked. No amount of gOiNg FeRaL would solve that. You are no better than hippies suggesting treating depression with yoga and crystals.
No. 963196
>>963189Yes
nonnie throw it down, I couldn’t have said it better!
No. 963208
File: 1636387470466.jpg (21.56 KB, 400x400, 1587838057766.jpg)
A certain /g/ thread makes me really fucking jealous and holy shit I’m going to die KHV forever alone
No. 963230
>>963189Ok, if you're not happy alone in the woods, I don't know what's wrong with you, but it must be real serious.
Many people, like myself, ARE happy alone in the woods, but miserable when we have to deal with society's retardation. There's nothing wrong with me or people like me, yet we're presrcibed big pills that claim to make us ok with going to work and living a normal shitty life. It doesn't really work. You have to find a life you like to live, no pill is going to make you happy living a life you don't like. It doesn't have to be alone in the woods, it just has to be something that you draw strength from, rather than that drains you.
>>963222having a BS in chemistry I'm not gonna say it's random, but a lot of these drugs were intended as crude but functional treatments for people who are currently having a crisis, and they do work for that. The side effects of short-term treatment with psych pills were/are judged to be worth it if they could calm/stabilize people in crisis as a first line treatment.
But they were not intended for and do not work for long-term "treatment" of something as fundamental as your personality.
No. 963273
File: 1636391350377.jpeg (165.87 KB, 1700x1133, download.jpeg)
I hate my body, womanhood is such a prison, I hate being smaller and weaker but the worst of it is the always looming fear of pregnancy, god just thinking that my autonomy could be robbed of me in such a manner, my body broken and bent and changed forever makes me feel sick, it started to get in the way of my relationship because im so absolutely terrified of it i don't want to have sex anymore, and it seems like thats all people see when they look at me as woman, like thats my only purpose in the universe, i look at myself in the mirror and i feel so uncomfortable, i hate every single thing about it, i have a pretty "womanly" shape and everytime some disgusting piece of shit looks at my tits in public i just want to fold my own body into nothingness, im an bonafide autistic tard so i don't have any of the so-called "feminine" brain characteristics so i feel like i've been dealt the absolute shittiest hand in biology.
Im not gonna troon out because I know that shit doesn't actuallt change anything but god nature sure is a cruel thing.
No. 963297
>>963289I mean yeah im dysphoric, but i also have genuine brain damage (deprived of oxygen due to brith complications) that probably causes me to have a distorted view of my body soooo that isn't really a positive score for trannies.
Im not gonna transition because im 5'1 and extremely feminine face and body-wise and in a straight relationship, i even get commercial/social media modelling gigs once in a while, wow im gonna throw my life in the trash to live as a tiny little medically mutilated incel? Just sucking it up is the less worse of evils.
No. 963319
>>963301dw too much i went through all of college doing everything the night before the deadline or handing stuff in late a lot of the time. definitely was the pariah of my major for never going to a single office hours or department bs event.
i was in stem though and funnily enough it's easier to do that there, more other autists to blend in with. And for example in stem it's usually like -5% a day for a late assignment, while my profs in history/english had some bs like if you don't beg for an extension i won't even accept late papers.
as far as work idk if its good news for you because ive never had a normal job, always known i would hate it, not be a good worker, not be liked, have a bad time & not get promoted. so i did casual easy restaurant work for a couple years and then started making quite good money from my etsy store, and now im well above expected income in my major's careers so im reasonably well pleased.
I do feel like, now, i would have much less issues going to job interviews and doing a normal job, because i have the confidence that i can support myself entirely on my own. So now that i dont feel like i "need" a job i can just relax and not be so paralytically nervous, and do better as a result. And i have a lot more wide experience & things to talk about instead of just "idk im graduated? Hire me please or i'll cry & die?" But if i had tried to get a normal real job out of college it would have been a shit show.
No. 963333
File: 1636395022071.jpeg (610.9 KB, 1536x2112, download (1).jpeg)
>>963329Aside from the money from the gigs these are all VERY negative things to me anon, im just saying life is easier as a perceivedly attractive woman than if i were to roid myself up and not even look like an actual man.
Just picture me as ellen page you know?
No. 963336
My body is usually covered in some degree of welts and redness. They leave a patch of skin very warm because all the blood is rushing upwards. Physically, it looks like an allergic reaction that covers a large portion of my body. It's as if I was bitten by 100 mosquitos and it sure as hell feels like it too. Ive had chronic urticaria for several years now. I was told it usually does not last longer than a year and can spontaneously disappear. Well, it's been 5, zero treatments except for an experimental $3k monthly vaccine. Life is as itchy as it can get. I can't be in showers for too long and the water cannot be too warm nor too cold…nor too lukewarm. My clothes all have to be loose fitting and I cannot wear anything with a band, like jeggings and socks. The cold triggers them, the hot triggers them. Everything triggers them. They come as they please and fade with the hours that pass by. I've scratched so much, I am covered in scars. Despite it all, I am healthy to doctors. My only downside is that I am inflicted with pain that is so hard to resist to scratch every day. It's the worst at nights where I have given up on using sleeping pills to sleep past it. Countless days and nights where I can't do anything I want because I am itchy and covered in concerning welts. Why yes I am aware my face looks like I stung by a bee, occasionally that may happen. No, I don't need to go to the ER again for it. No amount of anti histamines work anymore. I'm cursed with this disorder that has little solution without breaking the bank. It's despicable that I have to explain that I prefer having something to eat and a roof over my head than to take this pain away. Id take the opportunity if it was free, but I think my quality of life would be worse off being homeless AND likely still itchy. It always feels like the word itchy is a understatement. I rather take the problems of somebody else who has body image issues because I am told I should, but I don't. My spine is deformed and my curves are twisted while my chest is hard and boney. By no means am I thin, I am fed. Someday it will disappear on it's own. My scars will stay and every itch will set me on edge. The fear that it will come back will make me break. Life will never be normal. The day it began was a stressful time. The power went out for weeks. It was the coldest I have ever felt. It was pitch black and I was afraid of looters coming in without being able to see them. I tried to sleep, but I could never tell if I was asleep or not because it looked the same as if I closed my eyes. My brain couldn't process all of this and when I did manage to sleep, I woke up in a pit of extreme itch. My whole body felt like it was being bitten by ants. I started to cry because the feeling didn't not subside after a day. When life became stable, I tried to eliminate everything that could have been causing it. My house became empty and my body became decorated with welts.
No. 963342
>>963338You're not wrong, and I don't think you're leaning toward trooning you've made that clear. It's just funny to use her as an example of how you look since she
did troon out.
No. 963367
File: 1636397303803.jpg (23.25 KB, 303x343, sadcathug.jpg)
>>963364I wish I was too, but I want you to live, and to get everything you've ever wanted.
No. 963401
>>963336Nona you posted this just as I was about to come here to vent about my eczema, but I know it can’t compare and is different from your condition. I usually get awful flare ups for a few months and then it goes away, but recently I’ve had a perpetual flare up for a year now, soon to become 2 years now. In the beginning I was fine with dealing with the itch and the fact that I looked like a diseased dog, but it’s really starting to get to me now. It’s spread to places I’ve never had it before and I’m just starting to feel really ugly. The itch is hellish of course, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Im a very nervous person so the stress induced itching is just mundane and par the course. But the pain from showers is so awful, and the pain from feeling dirty and gross because I’m so scared to shower, and my lotion smells so bad. Even the lotion makes my skin burn so awfully and I haven’t found one that works. I have it around my groin and it just feels like such a defeat because I feel like a idiot baby with diaper rash or something. I can barely sleep comfortably not only because of the itch, but all my skin flakes litter the bed and I always have to swipe them off because they’re like pins in the bed. Sometimes my skin gets so stiff and I have to waddle so I don’t rip my skin which is annoying. I’ve never felt this bad about my skin as I always try to keep my head up about it because I needed all my energy to tackle all the other aspects of eczema, but that strength is crumbling away. Some parts of my skin are purple and the skin on my knees are immensely wrinkled no matter how much I moisturize. My skin is discolored and scarred. My legs are itching so hard right now it’s so frustrating and tiring. But honestly nona we’re gonna get through this. I don’t know how honestly, but we’re gonna get through it.
No. 963405
File: 1636399854932.png (185.48 KB, 600x600, wojak.png)
Being the eldest daughter of a first generation immigrant family is truly one of the worst situations you could be in as a woman. I literally cannot stand the fucking constant pressure and expectations I am under just because I am the oldest sister in the household. I had to start caring for the household when I was around 10 years old because my parents didn't have ''any time for the household'' while they were just watching TV or sleeping all fucking day without ever doing something. I fucking hate how my younger brother is the most useless, wasteful and disrespectful piece of shit I have ever witnessed but still gets the praise, affection and love I was always praying to get. I am nothing more than a maid or a fucking punching bag for my parents. My brother has done such weird and shady things already as a fucking child but ALWAYS got away with fucking anything. We both shared a room and while I was on Skype to talk to my friends I would also obviously laugh, but that made him so fucking angry that he would stand up and punch or kick me and when I ''fought'' back by screaming at him that he should fucking stop he would INSTANTLY burst out in tears. When my parents heard their beloved innocent smoll sweet uwu son cry they would at first storm into our room to scream at me because how could I dare make him fucking cry but this shitshow doesn't end here. My brother started not only crying but also ACCUSING me of fucking whooping and beating his ass to the point where they ALWAYS assumed that when he was crying I was doing harm to him which in their fucking minds rings a fucking alarm to rush into our room literally kicking the door open, tearing me down from bed or my desk, throwing me on the fucking floor and beating the shit ouf of me. While all of this was happening he stood behind them just while making silly, provocative gestures and faces and smiling at me like I deserved it. Of course he was also coddled after all of this and from time to time also got some kind of ''compensation'' for going through such pain and misery. He was always favoured in every single way possible and no fucking joke I literally cannot comprehend why he would get this kind of treatment? Even though this motherfucker is about to turn 13 years old he still cannot do fucking basic math like multiplications or divide through numbers, can't tie his fucking own shoelaces and has to always ask mommy and daddy for help, can't put his own fucking food in the microwave because ''its too hard to understand how to use it uwu'', can't take care of his little 14m² room (my mom has to clean up everything for him like his drawers, clothes, bed and the bedding itself etc. because he is literally unable to do this) and can't even write fucking properly (its legitimately on the level of a first grade writing). Why does this human being deserve to get everything he wants shoved up his fucking ass? Oh, he wants the newest Xbox? Yeah, daddy got it for you no fucking problem. Oh, he wants the newest gaming chair for LITERAL 700€ (I shit you not its a premium NobleChair real-leather chair)? Oh, yeah daddy already ordered it for you son. Oh, you smashed your 34th headset? No problem, I will just get you a new one so that you can destroy it again within 3 weeks. Oh, you want an iPad? Of course I will buy it for you! He not only receives this kind of treatment on a financial basis he also gets overshowered with love and affection from both of my parents for not even the bare fucking minimum, like the bar is not even on the floor anymore its fucking underground. Oh my god [redacted] you got a C? I am so proud of you, oh my goodness you are such a good student! You cleaned your own room without me having to say it? You are such a good and responsible child come here for a hug, you did a really great job! Like, you probably get it its just him doing not even the bare fucking minimum while he gets praised as if he fucking invented gravity for some shit. He gets everything he wants, just a finger snap and daddy has already ordered the shit he wants. No matter what I say or do my parents will never act that way towards me. They always screamed that I should have never been born and that it was a mistake to keep me as a child. My childhood was so fucking horrible, lonely and painful that I as a 7 year old would sit in the corner crying thinking that I was adopted, asking my parents if I truly were, because it was the only reason I could come up with why my parents treated me that way. No one every loved me and no one will love me unconditionally just because I am myself. I don't even know what I did wrong, I can recall all the abuse, beatings and hurtful words but I can't remember ever being loved and cared for in my entire life. What did I do to deserve any of this? Was I doomed from the beginning? Why couldn't I be the lucky one to be showered with love, affection and praise?
No. 963437
>>963405A lot of women (specially from third world countries) went trough this exact same hell or worse, i did, you're not alone anon, is plain misogyny. I know is a lot of suffering and pain for no reason and with no prize, a thankless job, but you have to understand you're a valuable human being no matter how much your shitty family wants you to believe otherwise, know your worth anon, because you're stronger, more kind and considerate than all who wronged you and family, friends, love and affection are everywhere if you get to know the correct people. I've endured thousands of beatings and mistreatment from everyone i knew too, i even witnessed people i love getting killed or abused, shit happens, some people are just incapable of love, is not your fault, focus on getting out of there.
No. 963440
File: 1636402433580.jpg (188.3 KB, 604x537, original (4).jpg)
Sleep. Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Work. I don't have the time, resources and energy for anything else. I'm so tired of this and so alone. Such life isn't worth living. If I had enough money to go to uni, studying would give me the feeling of purpose, I wish I could develop myself further. I'm in my mid-late twenties, I don't think that's old, but the way I live does make me feel old and tired. I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life. First mental illness wasted my teens and early twenties. Now this job that drains me, and additionally, forces me to watch coworkers having normal interactions, developing friendships or even love, something I'm unable to do. It's like beating a dead horse.
No. 963448
>>963440I was in the same boat, if it weren't for the gym I would've offed myself. Please look for another job, it might be better than your current one or it will at least shake.things up a bit.
Also look around for free courses and stuff at government institutions, maybe changing your field or specializing could help
No. 963452
File: 1636403403483.jpg (34.71 KB, 480x360, AuZse01.jpg)
Venting here because I don't want to vent anywhere else
I used to be friends with this really weird lithuanian couple, the guy was like 29 and the girl is 23 or something. The boyfriend was some pretentious photographer and I started being friends with them about 2 years ago. at the start of the pandemic around may of 2020 my boyfriend died. them being friends with him as well, they supported me at first, but then a few months later my other friend, who I already had a strained relationship with, told me that the lithuanian couple had gotten mad at her, because I supposedly "talked shit" about them (all I ever recall saying was that the guy is okay but loves to hear himself talk to some random third party). Well my friend got mad at me for that, and the lithuanian couple cut her and me out of my life. okay, whatever, right? fast forward to january of this year, and the lithuanian girl writes to me and says "hey, remember that nintendo 3DS that I gave you? I want it back". kee in mind, this bitch GAVE ME the 3DS because she "didn't need it anymore and didn't use it that much anyways". I ask her "why? for what? I'm using it more and frankly you gave it to me." she flips out, acts offended, says wahwah how dare you, I spent money on it. I think, okay, it's not worth the hassle, I will just give it back. I didn't end up giving it back to her, and about a week ago she's writing to me to give it back. I sort of panic and block her, because I want nothing to do with her or her weird sociopathic boyfriend. Then, on Saturday, the boyfriend writes to me, "you need to work out this 3DS situation with her, because if you don't, I will contact [full name of my family members] and tell them about you stealing things." I rightfully tell him that he is weird and a fucking creep for overstepping personal boundaries, he simply replies "Well, I was only making a point, and besides, why did you block my gf and hide in the bushes then hm?". Fair point. I guess I am fucking crazy for not wanting to give back something that was GIFTED TO ME from someone who I THOUGHT was normal. I agreed, I contacted the crazy lithuanian bitch about her 3DS.
I just formatted the system memory to remove my nintendo ID, because I couldn't make a system transfer to another 3DS or properly unlink the nintendo ID. years of downloaded games, flipnote studio 3D, data, all gone. tomorrow I'm going to the post office to ship the 3DS back to this crazy bitch. apparently some friends of mine who have had the misfortune of coming into contact with these people all have the same story - they become friendly and then suddenly accuse you of talking shit or something else, then dissapear. this photographer's logic was that the inconsequential thing I said about him can "spread around fast" or "tarnish his reputation". fucking sociopathic weirdos. I hope that dog of a girlfriend of his can't log in to the 3DS after I've shipped it to her. A real bunch of C U Next Tuesday. This whole incident has created a bias against lithuanians in my mind - scammers, grifters, opportunists and sociopaths. Maybe I'm upset because of the fact that I lost my cherished tween and teen gaming memories. After this is over perhaps I won't feel so bad anymore. After all, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. But man am I fucking salty
No. 963492
>>963222>>963230So uhh you mean books and studies and schools lie so industries can make more $? Wow idk how to live with this knowledge. Do you think the church lied too, about the afterlife so their rich patrons would pay their way to heaven? Idk…
Anyway Dr just said try this antidepressant for 3 months then see if it works and if not try this next one. You can't deny they're just playing around, they don't even do tests to see seratonin levels or something.
No. 963535
File: 1636408254083.jpeg (73.75 KB, 716x538, 7C700FBE-6F26-4959-84F7-781E21…)
>be me
>have long hair
>love having long hair since ever
>have thick and long hair
>tf2heavyyes.mp3
>also have a terrible eczema
>have to use medications for that
>go to dermatologists
>all of them tell me that I have to keep my hair at a basically a pixie cut length
>cut hair short
>feel miserable because it takes lots of effort to keep it looking nice
>can’t embrace my curls, they always look ratty and not like Shakira’s no matter what creams I use
>have it long again
>feel great
>tf2heavyohno.mp3
>scalp looks like utter shit
>itchy back
>itchy head n’ shoulders
>itchy face for some reason
>heavyisdead.vid
I just love but then hate how I look with short hair, I haven’t tried getting a pixie cut because I’m sure I would look round as fuck and I just can’t have fringes because of the same issue I got with my really sensitive skin.
I just want to keep my long hair that makes me happy and that I feel like it’s the kind of style that suits me the most.
No. 963539
File: 1636408435698.jpg (34.71 KB, 473x340, 1571143753216.jpg)
>>963405>>963405I'm so sorry we have this curse. It's even more a slap in the face than just living 3rd world because you can clearly see other girls have way more freedom and love.
>younger brother is the most useless, wasteful and disrespectful piece of shit I have ever witnessed but still gets the praise, affection and love I was always praying to get>he would stand up and punch or kick me and when I ''fought'' back by screaming at him that he should fucking stop he would INSTANTLY burst out in tears. When my parents heard their beloved innocent smoll sweet uwu son cry they would at first storm into our room to scream at me because how could I dare make him fucking cry but this shitshow doesn't end here. Exact same, he could literally rape and kill me and they'd still coddle him, saying "she probably did something you're not evil". He punches me and body slams me and slaps my butt, but I'm expected to just take it and tell him nicely not to, because he's "just a child uwu!!". If there was no legal reprecussions… yeah. And this is how it starts isn't it, they're let off as kids bc uwu just a kid tardlogic, no wonder scrotes grow up to be entitled to women and think it's ok to rape and kill.
I've been called a bitter selfish evil bitch for saying that I hate my fucking little brother and I will never love him. As if I'm supposed to become a martyr and sacrifice myself just so he can grow up without any discipline or hardship. I'm not his mother fuck off.
>nothing more than a maid or a fucking punching bag for my parentsHahahahaha even if I do everything perfect they just start nitpicking shit, oh you missed this, why didn't you study instead, you put too much spice. Literally can never win. I swear they just do this shit to break down my spirit so I'll just become a convenient free maid at home who will just die when she's no longer needed.
>I literally cannot comprehend why he would get this kind of treatment? Even though this motherfucker is about to turn 13 years old he still cannot do fucking basic math like multiplications or divide through numbers, can't tie his fucking own shoelaces and has to always ask mommy and daddy for help, can't put his own fucking food in the microwave because ''its too hard to understand how to use it uwu'', can't take care of his little 14m² room (my mom has to clean up everything for him like his drawers, clothes, bed and the bedding itself etc. because he is literally unable to do this) and can't even write fucking properly (its legitimately on the level of a first grade writing). He has a failed Y chromosome that's why. Unironically started hating men because of this shit. They're so pathetic and deranged that if they were on an equal playing field they'd fail first day. They'd literally all die in a year if they didn't economically and socially and biologically coerce women into being their carers.
>No one ever loved me and no one will love me unconditionally just because I am myself. I don't even know what I did wrong, I can recall all the abuse, beatings and hurtful words but I can't remember ever being loved and cared for in my entire life. What did I do to deserve any of this? Was I doomed from the beginning? Why couldn't I be the lucky one to be showered with love, affection and praise?You have to harden your heart, these people don't see you as human and never will, you have to find love somewhere else. Other immigrant girls, mentors, etc. Focus on education and getting out of there, plus practicing letting their harrassment flow over you so you don't get dragged down by them. Always try to remind yourself they're lowest forms of life who are lashing out, like feral monkeys. Meditation and breathing practices help to keep sanity, and you need to keep your sanity to get out alive.
No. 963550
File: 1636408896758.jpg (9.78 KB, 224x217, 1296315836408.jpg)
Another day wasted
No. 963551
File: 1636408910197.jpeg (85.69 KB, 1080x1071, EdjGXimUwAEsSMx.jpeg)
>>963273I feel the same anon. Can't imagine having a literal parasite inside of me. I hate the fact that my body isn't able to perform the same actions as male bodies, it's more reistsent than a male body but only because it's supposed to host a parasite. That's pathetic. I hate when radfems claim that women have MUH POWER because we can "create" life. That's bullshit. You still need a moid part inside of you to create a fetus. You can't do it completely on your own. If women were able to perform parthenogenesis, then I would be all for breeding and I would admit that's an actual superpower. But letting a moid dump his cum in you is not "power".
I find human biology disgusting in general; saliva, sweat, piss, poop, sperm, vaginal discharge, blood etc. It's all fucking disgusting. Can't imagine kissing anyone. I wish I could have a relationship that involves just cuddling and sleeping together.
No. 963566
>>963557I love your dedication to kaguya
nonnie, you're the hypewoman she deserves
No. 963569
God he's so fucking stupid sometimes I could just scream. He thinks he's being practical and efficient when he's actually being retarded and it's embarrassing that I have to point it out to him. How can you be so smart about other things and so stupid about simple everyday shit.
>>963550Same.
No. 963575
>>963545Long hair constantly touches your face even if you don’t want to, so your face gets greasy because of the grease of your hair and the products that you may use.
I don’t really suffer from acne because of my long hair, though, I have issues with eczema, which is just something I can’t help, but that I can avoid making worse by constantly keeping my hair out of my face.
No. 963580
File: 1636411179654.jpg (232.4 KB, 1080x879, 94892752_653354885520113_25681…)
I always feel kind of guilty browsing lolcow. I know it is something I will have to eventually (soon) quit because it is a source of negativity and toxicity (not to me, but to others). It probably is not good for my brain to be gossiping about people on the internet that I don't like - I should just ignore them. As I learn more and more about my spirituality I don't think that gossip sites fit in anymore. It definitely is hard to ignore this since all the cows are dying and I spend most of my time in /ot/ now, or browsing /snow/ or /pt/ trying to find a new cow to follow, but god they are all so dry. I miss the old lolcow. There just aren't really other websites I like to browse while eating or when I have downtime at work.
No. 963599
File: 1636413454256.jpg (54.84 KB, 1024x1010, Tumblr_l_226461312929549.jpg)
>>963587Who gives a shit
They probably went home and ranted in some manosphere safe space about how women rub in men's "forever alone" in their face by greeting them with no intention to immediately fuck
No. 963602
>>963587Don't know you or how you look but a couple of things to consider. Reminder that we are still dealing with Covid and many people are less likely to engage with strangers because of that.
Also worth considering is that some men are intimidated around women and interacting, especially if the woman is beautiful (Which is subjective anyways). I'm saying it's just as likely to be that as you being "ugly" or "worthless". Some assume "oh she couldn't be talking to me" etc. There are lots of potential reasons. Don't psych yourself out one way or the other and don't let it bother you to much. Your self image should not be dependent on a bunch of random strangers okay so don't let it get to you. Hope this helps a bit.
No. 963610
>>963539>>963497>>963413>>963437I really appreciate the replies, it's definitetly comforting and reassuring to hear that it's all just made up shit that they have tried to talk me into and not just me being delusional. My parents already tried to talk me into looking out for them when they are older and visiting them regularly because they ''will miss their beloved daughter'' which is kind of ironic isn't it? I have already thought about ghosting them after I move out but there are specific things that make me wanna rethink this. I have endured immense pain (physical, emotional, psychologial etc.) and have suffered major crisises in my fucking life which have now lead to me being very mentally unstable and probably struggling with like roundabout 4 mental illnesses (?). I am by no means self-diagnosing myself but I really don't think that the abuse I had to endure my entire life didn't fuck me up in some way espeically because of the 180 degree change I saw in my behaivor. I really used to be a positive, happy and extroverted person despite all of these negative things but once they got to my head I couldn't be the same anymore and it changed me drastically. Now I am just a self-isolating, physically & mentally drained person with no goals in life, major anxiety,panic attacks and depressive episodes where I don't want to do anything else besides laying and rotting away in my bed. These people really sucked the fucking life out of my soul and destroyed me completly. Also because I have become self-isolating and distanced myself from everybody I don't want to lose the only people that are left in my life even though they are my
abusive fucking parents. It doesn't even make sense why would I fucking care and cling to these motherfuckers who ruined my entire life for literally nothing? The only thing they do is let me live here under their expenses and nothing more? Is my fear of abandontment really so fucking extreme that I can't even detach myself from the people who destroyed me? I also can't stop thinking about how guilty and dirty I would feel to just leave them behind. Maybe I am too empathethic on their side but even though they are bad parents, they used to be a lot worse. Is it wrong that I see that with each year I am growing older they are atleast trying to better themselves or atleast want me to believe that (?). Maybe I am just fucking delusional but I don't know what to really do. I couldn't possibly live with the consequences that it could lead to because they would never in their life forgive me for that.
No. 963660
>>963610>tried to talk me into looking out for them when they are older and visiting them regularly because they ''will miss their beloved daughter'' So they realized they're going to need someone to help them when they injure a hip and are trying to butter you up huh.
>used to be a positive, happy and extroverted person despite all of these negative things but once they got to my head I couldn't be the same anymore and it changed me drastically. Now I am just a self-isolating, physically & mentally drained person with no goals in life, major anxiety,panic attacks and depressive episodes where I don't want to do anything else besides laying and rotting away in my bed. These people really sucked the fucking life out of my soul and destroyed me completly. And you still want to reconcile with them/let them off the hook bc they're now being slightly nicer? Just because they're nicer now doesn't change anything about what they did before. Would your brother forgive them if they said or did the same shit to him that they did to you? I wonder how they will react when you do move out. Be careful if they're suddenly interested in knowing details of where you live and work, I've heard countless stories of immigrant parents fucking up their daughters success when she moved out bc they wanted their slave back. You don't have to full no contact, go lesser contact and reduce until you feel happiest. Just pretend you're really busy working, they love that shit.
>Also because I have become self-isolating and distanced myself from everybody I don't want to lose the only people that are left in my life even though they are my abusive fucking parents. It doesn't even make sense why would I fucking care and cling to these motherfuckers who ruined my entire life for literally nothing? The only thing they do is let me live here under their expenses and nothing more? Is my fear of abandontment really so fucking extreme that I can't even detach myself from the people who destroyed me? This is common in situations like ours, you're not crazy/weird. They isolated you by beating you down enough so you won't leave. They make you feel like there is no hope, or energy for change, so you stay with them forever. Suffering abuse just because someone pays for your house and food is called slavery. You're not a slave. You're so much more, or else they wouldn't have bothered beating you down so much. Staying out of the house helps, try to recuse your time around them as much as possible. I find that even knowing they're in the house puts me in edge.
No. 963682
File: 1636419251380.jpg (185.99 KB, 1280x1280, 009b1ed47322be9b602aae2018f6cd…)
I've been having severe health issues for a few months now and my free health care doctor does not give a single shit about it, I barely have any money because I finished spending them on a dentist and the more Christmas comes, the angrier I get. I spent so much time and money into fucking Christmas gifts and I know that I am the only one there who puts actual effort into them, making me miss my family that I haven't seen in three uears. I fucking wish I could just get money instead because everyone knows that I am having it rough right now, or they could have at least asked me what I want. I am so tired. "It's the thought that counts" but sometimes it really pisses me off when I have to clutter some junk out. The amount of cash I spent on these Christmas gifts just makes me want to stomp my foot and cry, it pisses me off that much. Fuck Christmas. I still need to finish working on my commissions when I can barely sit or walk atm. Jesus Christ.
No. 963684
>>963669I jokingly asked my mother with a hypothetical situation and she essentially said “You’d embarrass me and look ugly, but it’s not like I can force you to put it back on at that point.” So I’m not
as concerned when it comes to her, I guess she’d prefer me being a “sinner” in front of her face instead of behind her back.
It’s difficult expressing my brother’s role in the house without going on a tangent but lets say he holds a large amount of instilled authority over us for now. He’s one of those
abusive people who act normal now but in the past used to be very violent. And the reason why he can act nice now is because we (siblings) learnt to stay in-line and know the consequences of doing things he doesn’t like. In his delusional brain he thinks he’s fixed his anger problems but that’s far from it. So to answer your question, I haven’t brought it up at all to him but judging by how religious he exaggerates himself to be, he probably wont receive it well.
No. 963730
>>963626ohhh in that case, i see what you mean. thats strange, i feel like a casual hello would make sense then (like in a small town). you are no ghost
nonny! sometimes it happens, it could be they didnt hear, etc. but regardless i wouldnt let it discourage you!
No. 963763
>>963756>After agreeing with my sentiment, bitch will eventually invite her lame ass bf into the game lobby/discord without asking and then start ghosting me after I half jokingly make fun of their scroteBeing an open manhater keeps those kinds away
>Are English speaking women not into friendships as much as they pretend to be? Even on here y’all admit to not texting other girls back but will obsess over some scrote’s bread crumb of interaction.Most aren't see this
>>963731There's a few based ones but they're usually too mentally ill to have proper friendship with.
No. 963765
A friend of mine got cheated on with a trannie, in a very humilliating way, and now she's back with her ex with plans of moving together. She talked to me, and basically admitted that she got her self steem pushed to the floor due to that, and that she's dependent on the guy cause her family sucks. Jokes on you bitch, you're not getting out of the hell living with your family is, you're just jumping into a different hell, and for what? Worse of all is that she also admitted to me that she discovered she liked girls a while ago, but ofc she won't stop dating the guy that cucked her. Jfc I'm so fucking tired of seeing friends date dumb shitty scrotes that probably have smal dicks, and wasting their lives on them. I'm this close to stop talking to all of them, but then again I would lose like the 50% of my friends.
No. 963831
File: 1636433243950.jpeg (39.16 KB, 624x352, FAC72A5D-2ED1-4D7F-A6C8-55A97D…)
>>962941My parents just told me they’re taking the insurance money from my car crash and using it to help my sister buy a new car instead of letting me save it or use it to fix up her piece of shit that she’s passed into me. I was the one in the fucking car crash. I was the one who had to climb across the console and out my passenger door and wait on the side of the road for the police. I was the one who sat in hospital getting bounced from ward to ward for hours just to make sure I wasn’t going to wake up paralysed the next morning. I was the one you told to go into work the very next day after getting t-boned because “you’re physically fine.” I was the one who drove home that next afternoon bawling my eyes out because the shock had finally worn off and I was in physical and mental agony. I was the one who, when I didn’t go into work the next day because I had whiplash, you all looked at with judgemental little stares and accused me of “milking it.” Fuck you. I’m gonna take that car and drive it underneath a semi truck and the when I’m in fucking pieces on the highway and the police have to ID me from dental records then you can accuse me of milking it.
No. 963835
File: 1636433698871.jpeg (40.44 KB, 530x579, 178322256.jpeg)
Today I dropped half of my chili oil and it got everywhere, including the barley I roasted to make tea.
It felt very like picrel
No. 963889
File: 1636442927339.jpeg (16.89 KB, 189x267, images (2) (4).jpeg)
I can't fall asleep because I feel mental and I'm in tears.
All I want is for my workplace to treat me right and recognize the hard work I put in over the last year. It's one thing to have self-worth, it's another to have that worth actually validated by other people via show of respect, acknowledgement, and compensation. I want my career to grow yet I'm tired of these companies making promises to me but then wasting my time.
My office director blew so much smoke up my ass from this recent project launch and implementation I did for the company that she was already making promises to me for a higher position. She said she was in my corner. My Karen department manager who purposefully hurt my professional reputation (she didn't train me when I first started and then held my lack of knowledge against me until I became useful to her after learning on my own and swallowing her abuse) and made me into her personal lackey who did much of her job for her, quit recently. So I thought this was the perfect time, I was on cloud nine not too long ago because I really thought things were going to change. Having that position on my resume would have done wonders. We've had so much turnover at my company, it's slow right now, and many positions are open. I was told to submit my application to the position I wanted, and that while they were required to interview externally, that I was pretty much going to get it. This was weeks ago, they haven't interviewed me at all.
Meanwhile other people have gotten promotions and department transfers just because they were personally liked. It's not that I'm unliked at my office, but clearly some bad actors see me as a tool and a joke.
When I asked about it again today, the department manager for the role I applied to told me I hadn't been interviewed yet because they're unable to find at least 3 external candidates to interview after the first one they did was a flop. She told me I can train up to the position in the meantime and help the office favorite (who's a lazy ass bitch in reality) who's gotten two promotions in the past year alone. Of course this would be for no increase in pay. Of course I'm still expected to already go beyond my call of duty in my current role like training the department new hire. She is a nice girl, but for whom it was my manager's responsibility to train. They told me I can train her up to my role to cover for this nebulous maybe-promotion in the future. Clearly these people don't care about my development and only care about how I do my current role well without complaints. Also that I actually take on more work with no increase in compensation–not that I have a true ability to say no without looking bad.
It's making me psychotic. I'm so sick of their lies and gaslighting. I wouldn't even care about staying in this position if they could at least raise my pay–because the job itself isn't stressful–but no. Instead they're stringing me along and not being transparent because they're fucking assholes.
My director, who hates my manager who's leaving, had the balls to say to me "Well I have no problems replacing someone like her, but if you were to leave I would be in some real trouble." Okay, so where is the pay that reflects this sentiment? Cause it sure as shit isn't in my bank account.
I'm going to need a second job soon because my debt is increasing and I'm pretty much housebroke.
I wish I could go nuclear and threaten them with my resignation just to see what the fuck they would do in a panic, because yeah, if I quit there would be a massive void and a learning curve for anyone taking on my role. Maybe I should just give up here and start applying elsewhere, I'm just so upset because it would be a cozy job if not for these fucked politics and their bullshit lies.
No. 963921
File: 1636446538862.jpeg (44.53 KB, 469x650, 4AA49EDC-A4A1-4A89-8D70-47626A…)
I fucking HATE anything that requires references. Job applications, animal adoption applications, etc. I don’t fucking talk to ANY HUMAN SOUL that could be a reference for me for anything, so I’m totally fucked when it comes to stuff like that.
No. 963941
>>963927I wish you'd lose your brains by aiming a shotgun in that useless space between your ears.
>>963926I'm pretty sure there are dozens of things that he could lose or gain (like hair as it is with men) perhaps you could make a list for him like a quid pro quo agreement or better yet, forget about his existence.
No. 963991
File: 1636458340696.jpg (255.39 KB, 1080x814, Screenshot_20211105_173734.jpg)
So when others are sad and cranky, I understand and don't take it personally and soothe them, but when I am a sad cranky mess from shit I can't control, these same people are just bitchy back to me. I got it. I'm the only adult in the world, everyone else gets to dump on me and expect kindness back. I never get to be sick, I'm always the nursemaid.
>inb4 my husband has some mysterious random injury or illness today when I have my period cramps, ooh my ankle twinged I guess we're both miserable today! Just bring me a hot water bottle and don't make me manage your whining for a single day for the love of Christ almighty
No. 964031
>>963926Look at male bodies, full of ugly curly hair, weird dark or pink spots, acne and wrinkles everywhere. They usually have unwashed ass and are skinnyfat even though it's easy as fuck to be muscly for them.
Women aren't supposed to be skelly. I'm very thin myself because of no appetite and it's a fucking struggle to not have brain fog and live normally. Women are supposed to have higher body fat than men yet society tries to keep
us as the thin ones when the men are supposed to be the one with less fat and in peak form. They try to keep underweight and weak even though it damages us. Fuck that. Let's get fatter.
No. 964078
>>964063Nonnie! Ok, let’s do some deep breaths, really.
You’re okay, breathe.
So a lot of community colleges do certificate classes as well. These can help you get certified with, for example, I do film so I got a certificate for operating lifts and jibs. It cost 50 bucks and was a few classes. Totally worth it, makes me earn more hourly (and it’s a chick on set ready to build a jib, kek) there’s other sorts of certificates, but the idea is to add to your skill set.
I’m not trying to be creepy at all, but if we could connect somehow I would walk you through building your resume/ help you look for interviews.
Now is the time to apply places! So much opportunity. I know we come here for anonymity, but I promise you’re gonna grow and bloom! You got my support.
No. 964086
File: 1636466610760.jpg (Spoiler Image,80.5 KB, 1200x1200, s-l1600.jpg)
>>963926Better alternative
No. 964103
>>964087 i think you will get confidence if you just start looking at them and purposely make them uncomfortable, wink at people and funny stuff like that. Whenever i don't like someting it always helped me to do the thing hardcore. I was very afraid of bugs so i got a pet bug and now i can catch bugs and spiders on the wall and throw them out no problem.
People honestly don't care if you look beautiful or not when you walk on the street.
No. 964112
>>964104>I'm just generally tired but I can't say no to anything.You either learn to say no or you get the life sucked out of you until you kys.
You don't have to say no, you can always say so sorry I can't, and pretend you're very busy working as you got a new position at job. From personal experience, ppl will take and take until you snap and then they'll demonize you for being a crazy cunt. Best to not snap and just act like you're really busy, too busy to care for others. Smudge some dark eyeshadow under your eyes and slouch and shuffle to complete the look if you need to see them. They'll see you don't have any life force to spend on them and leave you alone.
No. 964147
>>964135You parents can't "make you" into a person, they can only try to give you skills to make something of yourself.
Since you're already having more insight than they have, it seems like they did a damn fine job at it.
As my parents always used to tell me: children are
supposed to outdo their parents. "We are doing the best we know" they used to say "but one day you will know better".
No. 964178
>>964147>Since you're already having more insight than they have, it seems like they did a damn fine job at it.What if they actually didn't do shit? Why is everything a child does attributed to the parents? Especially if they neglected or abused them, the child picked up the pieces and that was of their own effort and volition, not their parents'.
>We are doing the best we knowThis is a cope for them to not take responsibility for fucking up their kid's life. They can never say "I messed up/I didn't try hard enough" it's always "I didn't know better", then don't have a kid.
No. 964265
>>961901My grandpa just passed away less than an hour ago and I am so sad and heartbroken that he didn’t want a relationship with me. I know my mom (his former daughter in law) is insane and awful, but he never gave me a chance.
So why am I crying? Why am I sad? He didn’t care about me.
Idk maybe it’s just hearing my fathers voice over the phone that’s doing it. He was with him in the hospice.
I dont know what I’m trying to say, sorry.
I’m so proud of who my dad is, and he is such a better, more matured man than his father. I want my dad to live for decades to come, i don’t want to lose our bond. Family can be so important, I guess it hurts when you realize you are not important enough to some family members.
Rest In Peace you old fart.
No. 964291
>>964178Nobody is infallible. It's… ridiculous, childish and unfair to expect two humans to be
perfect, know everything and do everything right.
No. 964307
>>964291it's harder to own a pet than it is for two people to have a baby. think on that for a moment.
think on how many people have a child just because of "societal expectations" or because "they think babies are cute xD." i get that people aren't perfect, yeah, but raising another human being is a Big Fucking Deal, and those that are prone to messing up probably shouldn't have one. i think child-rearing should be seen as something only smart people should do and not any pair of retards that forget to use a condom
No. 964338
File: 1636487336760.jpg (26.2 KB, 500x376, bunny.jpg)
It's my birthday, and I'm not sure what to do. I feel like it's a day I should be doing something and I feel weirdly empty but there's not really anything specific I feel like doing. Maybe I should go online shopping? I honestly feel a little empty. It sucks, because my life isn't necessarily going bad. Kind of the opposite, things are nice. I'm pretty comfy right now. I just wish I knew someone IRL (besides family members) who made me smile and we could hang out and look at stars or something. Or we could give each other makeovers and take stupid aesthetic photos together. I want it to feel magical. I wanted to go the forest today, but the weather was too uncomfortable. I hope I feel better and more thankful for the comfortable life I'm living soon
No. 964343
>>964326It could be the class of medication; my prescription has to be rang in every month. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I know this sucks, but maybe wait 2-3 days to start the meds back up and squirrel away those pills for backup?
Out of curiosity, what is the med?
No. 964372
File: 1636489868897.png (630.53 KB, 700x688, 2DEAA853-F7BD-47BF-9505-7C2497…)
>>964338Happy birthday
nonny I wish I could take you out to a cute bakery or something to celebrate
No. 964467
>>964338I'm sorry you're struggling to celebrate,
nonnie. It's my husband's birthday too so I bought him a big box of donuts from the local bakery as a treat when he gets home from work. You can have one too, they are lemon and lavender!
No. 964470
>>964464I don't like that I am experiencing trauma symptoms now and that they keep getting worse the more time passes. I don't like how I always repress as much as possible until I slowly can't take it anymore. I don't want to live like this again or more. I don't want to dissociate so much and feel so unsafe in my skin and feel certain areas burn and itch and hurt and to feel so uneasy and sick and in denial and disgusting i wan't to shower forever I am so confused my friend heard my description of what happened and asked me if I was raped but I wasn't raped it's not that simple but most importantly I'M A VIRGIN!!!! I am a virgin… the memories of what happened keep becoming more and more painful. it becomes more vivid and it feels more like it was a crime every time I think about it again. I'm scared of being in the same room alone with my male friends again. I feel dirty, I feel so dirty, I want to shower forever, I hate my body, I lost all sexual appetite so quickly, all of my progress regarding comfort within my sexuality is gone, I want to vomit, I hate being weak, I hate being a weak person, I hate all of this, I feel scared to think about or talk about sex, I was scared, I wasn't ready, I'm not ready, I wasn't ready and I'm not ready I wasn't ready I knew I wasn't ready I have boundaries he took my virginigty uakhdf iuasd gulis;gqakusdfhakslhgluahsfkgja im sorry… my v
**a feels dirty it feels so dirty my breasts my thighs i feel so alone and dirty everything hurts its just like years ago when something similar happened but this is so so so much worse and it happened so often I just wanted to be loved Im so lonely and I was already dealing with so much and kind of getting better but really struggling and now I have to deal with so much more and I am pushing through every day but I am so scared for the moment when I can't keep pushing anymore and I fall deep down again because I really can't afford that now, I want to get better I want to get better I don't want to be traumatised I deny the fact it was traumatising and it was not rape and I am FINE but I am also a VIRGIN and I am a virgin and he didn't fuck me and touch me and none of it
No. 964479
>>964470don't repress what happened you need to address it. whatever happened to you happened and i am so sorry. whether or not it fits the physical definition of rape does not matter, you are allowed to feel trauma over it, and it clearly has had a impact on your soul. don't deny your trauma. write down what happened to you. it doesn't have to be here.
i'm sorry about what he did to you.
No. 964508
File: 1636503250258.png (41.4 KB, 402x573, Capture.PNG)
still dreaming of the friends i never made and never found, and being sad that i can't draw.
i'm twenty-two soon and idk i can't shake the vibe that i'll never progress and that my dreams of making a web-comic are pointless. i'll be working a dull desk job until i die
No. 964512
File: 1636503619301.gif (161.48 KB, 250x400, 2577C1BE-9678-4D9A-B3EF-8D7676…)
>>964508Did you do that? It’s cute! Reminds me of Dejiko, my beloved. I know it’s hard to just stop feeling like you can’t do anything, but something that cheers me up and that makes me think that I shouldn’t stop doing what I like, is looking at people like the artist/creator/author/whatever of Lore Olympus, it’s shit, but everyone loves it.
sorry for the spoilered picture, repost No. 964528
File: 1636506349725.png (766.11 KB, 425x764, lol.PNG)
>>964508lol have you seen lore olympus? pic taken from the webtoon thread. if this artist can have their shitty webtoon with even shitter writing top the charts, then you can do it too anon.
No. 964531
File: 1636506777699.jpeg (65.74 KB, 519x599, 68E9141C-2CFD-40A0-A546-F0A185…)
It honestly makes me confused when anons get angry when you criticize onlyfans creators or any online female content creator? Do you understand that not everything is being criticized by a man and that the things that these women do also make it even worse for other women especially on the internet? I don’t care if she makes money from tricking a bunch of simps online, she should also be held accountable for the dangerous values she’s spreading
No. 964582
File: 1636515643180.jpeg (216.73 KB, 1242x985, 1613693347812.jpeg)
I'm slowly losing my mind. It's happening. I keep having these dumb tinfoil thoughts, and I'm ready to cut off my fingertips and burn my tongue or something. I gotta flee the country, but I really can't because I am legit scared that they have the ability to read my mind and now I gotta think about random things or else they'll read my mind. They've already read my mind. I luckily didn't think of the place where I'll be moving to. The government is legit going to find me and bring me back. Holy shit I'm freaking out so much. Please let me escape the country
No. 964598
>>964582This legit sounds like you're developing schizophrenia,
nonny. Please try to seek help
No. 964600
File: 1636518844123.jpeg (149.15 KB, 1024x768, D2761F98-1D7A-43C9-82BA-FE7D1F…)
>>964582Nonnie I think you may need help, but I also hope you don’t feel alone. I understand paranoia but I hope you stay safe. Keep venting if you need to.
No. 964618
File: 1636521627187.gif (1.18 MB, 200x200, thumb-102112.gif)
i have so much work to do and i haven't started on any of it.
let me finish reading this terrible yaoi manwha (killing stalking) though and i swear i'll at least put a dent in it. and if the professor says anything i'll bring up the fact that he wasn't paying attention when he first graded this assignment (i'm re-doing it + completing another project that heavily hinges on how it was done) and gave me the pass so it's technically kind of sort of his fault i'm behind.
No. 964663
File: 1636532032218.jpg (37.54 KB, 720x518, cat.jpg)
>>964372>>964339>>964467Just woke up and saw these, thank you nonnies
No. 964668
>>964664>>964667It's pretty clear he first wanted them but no longer anon lol
Sorry about that, that really sucks, especially after that time investment. At the very least he decided to tell you before you got stuck with a child and not after just to be a terrible father or bail all together, many a woman haven't been that ""fortunate""
No. 964674
>>964671 Maybe you can presuade him still over time. Did he tell you why all of sudden he doesn't want them?
To me it's very important so i personally would find someone else if he wouldn't change his mind. There are still a lot of men who want kids. I guess it's just me but i will always love my kid more than my husband so the husband itsn't that important.
No. 964675
>>964669Sorry anon, I didn't mean to imply you have to be grateful or anything.
Personally I find myself agreeing with the other anon. If having kids is your life long dream and you can't see yourself living a fulfilling life without them, maybe you should consider looking elsewhere. I agree you're still young enough to find someone new. Of course leaving your current partner isn't easy, but neither is being forced to settle on not having kids when you deeply wanted them and possibly living with resentmant towards your partner for the rest of your life. But I understand that's easy to say from the sidelines of course. I hope you can figure something out that'll make you happy.
No. 964679
>>964675It just hurts either way and I feel like I’ve been robbed almost. Keep wondering why he’s changed his mind but I’m still a bit too close to tears to discuss it with him yet.
There’s no good answer really, and I don’t expect one. Either abandon an otherwise happy marriage and hope i can find someone for the chance of a family, or make the most of the marriage and mourn forever. Either one sucks sharp dicks.
No. 964687
>>964671Okay well stay with him and maybe work on your perspective instead. You'd be in the same position if he wanted kids but one of you were infertile, maybe you can look up resources for women going through infertility and grieving over it.
It's illogical to think that you're going to be some sad old cat lady just because you don't have kids. That's a shitty thing to say to begin with (is that really what you think of women who don't have kids??) but it's not like kids are any guarantee that you'll be surrounded by loved ones when you're old or a lack of kids inherently means you can't have a happy, fulfilling life.
No. 964690
>>964687I have no family alive except my inlaws. I’m not pulling out the childless mopey lady trope, having no family is literally my future.
I already have the cats and garden, work alone from home, and have few friends.
Yes there are other fulfilments in life, but shit dude, can I be emotional about it the day I find out at least? Without it being a pissing contest about other women and how I must think of them?
>>964688So belittle him and pretend kids are something I am owed? What’s that gonna do?
No. 964692
>>964687>reddit spacing>doesn't understand that some people want childrenlol
>>964683he IS being a little bitch. tell him to be a man and to stop running away from responsibility and the commitment he made to you. umbelievable that anons itt are acting like it's nbd to switch up your entire life plans on your spouse after eight years
No. 964699
File: 1636536999605.jpeg (20.75 KB, 554x554, images - 2021-11-10T122956.478…)
I think my dad is cheating on my mom. I didn't see it in action but even if he isn't he is still commenting on porn and texting his "clients". I'm so revolted, I've always been a daddy's girl because I had a lot of issues with my mom growing up. But this is just disgusting and no one deserves it. My mom saw a suspicious text on my dad's phone, demanded an answer but he deleted it and said it was sent to the wrong number by his client. When mok asked him to show if it was just a mistake, he said she is being crazy and watching too much dramas. I checked the name of the "client" and she leaves heart emojis on my dad's instagram photos and likes all pics. My mom told me about this in secret so I'm "not supposed to know" but I feel so disgusted. I don't know how to interact with my dad anymore. My mom is actually is outstandingly beautiful so if he's really cheating I hope they get divorced and mom finds a loyal man. But they won't divorce because of the culture here so I'll live with the knowledge that at the best case scenario (it's all a misunderstanding) my dad whom I love is commenting super wierdo sexual stuff on porn his friends send. Fml.
No. 964704
File: 1636539083121.jpg (197.86 KB, 1280x864, tumblr_5052babe667617a100722c3…)
I wish I was a mess in a quirky 2012 Grimes/tumblr girl kinda way but instead I'm just an autistic piece of shit. Being a druggie with pink hair who survives by couch surfing and sneaks into festivals seems more respectable than being an unemployed nerdy sperg. Equally unsuccessful but still. Wish I was the cool kind of loser.
No. 964711
File: 1636540384065.jpeg (245.02 KB, 1024x893, 43C813AE-7D68-462E-A14A-0F910A…)
Moid friend and I was supposed to hang out but since arranging became distant and has now ghosted me. I asked yesterday if we should just leave it as he left me on read before and the uncertainty was causing me anxiety, he has been online since but completely ignored my message again. Feels worse being ghosted than just being told no I don’t want to anymore. I used to think there were separate categories for male friends and guys you date, only being the later that would ghost you. Now realising there is only one category for all men - scrotes and all of them have the potential to ghost you for seemingly no reason.
No. 964718
File: 1636541899102.jpeg (46.49 KB, 825x534, F7544CD5-8A11-48C0-A251-1B1F65…)
So I was taking the bus today and I saw a literal, real agp transbian. I was kinda shocked, I’ve never seen one irl, so I sat behind him. He reeked, fr, he had box dyed greasy red hair with that stereotypical half shaved troon hair cut, wore picrel mask and was reading a manga, he was also fat. It was so funny, I can’t believe it
No. 964730
File: 1636544355195.gif (463.34 KB, 500x282, tumblr_mggrumllnE1s33gmjo1_500…)
>>964704I feel this. I know it's kinda cringey, but I wish I was living that Effy Stonem life. That depressed, 2edgy4u girl but somehow popular.
No. 964731
>>964717I think so too
nonny, after quickly digging on social media activities and seeing who liked what, it looks like him and his ex girlfriend who dispises me have most probably made amends.
Shakes fist. A plague on both your houses! I will rue the day…
No. 964741
File: 1636545357654.jpg (43.09 KB, 300x622, HD83NGBS765NFB.jpg)
>>964704>>964730the only way this works is if you're born attractive with a yin kibbe type that makes you look innocent enough to get away with being a mess
gotta remember that everything we do as non-hot people will be weird, cringe and unattractive
No. 964747
File: 1636546188744.jpg (119.53 KB, 1080x907, Screenshot_20211110_130927.jpg)
>>964704lmao anon I literally almost posted this yesterday but ended up writing it in my notes instead. I feel you
No. 964768
File: 1636547725232.jpg (75.2 KB, 1200x630, 1482419503_Shannon-Purser-as-B…)
>>964749love u too queen its ok we can be the cringe side character who dies together
No. 964806
File: 1636550947957.jpeg (38.35 KB, 500x341, 93D238BE-3704-4C79-A346-761926…)
I just want to be a size S or XS so I can actually find cute and cheap clothes. Why can’t losing weight be quicker without the anachan horrifying consequences like saggy skin everywhere, hair loss and shitty health?
No. 964813
File: 1636551345444.jpeg (53.18 KB, 500x385, 1636258837340.jpeg)
how very devilish of this depression. Ruin any good relations I had and drive everyone away when I actually needed them the most. I've been dependent on close relations with other people for most of my developing years and this is the first time I'm truly alone. I'm so fucking close to ending it
No. 964834
I arrived home to finally distract myself after working my ass off all the day, and my shitty friends are talking about their scrote boyfriends, so I decided to just ignore them, grab a drink, and play some videogames. Next thing I know, the local pick me bitch, an almost 40s raw bread skin bimbo that keeps claiming she "knows Spanish" to get scrote attention and I basically snap and tell her that her spanish is full of typos, and that she probably has never even left her redneck filled town, only to have a bunch of scrotes defend her,assuming I'm a dude and calling me a bunch of stupid names (she was using voice chat, I used the text chat) at least I'm kinda glad they don't know I'm a girl, cause then they would start arguing that I'm "jealous" and then I would flip my shit completely. I'm so fucking drained and tired. This is why my friends simp for retard assholes? To have a pseudo army of incels to argue how much pick me material they are all the time? Disgusting. Just disgusting. At this point I just hope they end up regretting doing this bullshit when eventually those scrotes stop pretending to be nice and start harassing them. Serves them right. Fuck sorority, why the hell would I want to be on the same side with that insecure, dick worshiping, idiots?
No. 964837
>>961986Ugh
nonnie, same. I left my last job cause the boss couldn't be bothered to tell me what the fuck he wanted me to do, and then he would panic at the end of the turn cause stuff wasn't done.
No. 964841
>>964699My dad got caught texting his younger coworker talking like he was ready to leave my mom for her.
My parents like to be lowkey with their issues so when it came out it was a huge shock and he wasn't even brave enough to tell me himself - instead he asked my sibling to do that.
It all ruined how I used to perceive him and I don't know how to treat him either. They won't divorce because of the culture so I can relate to you
nonnie. I kinda emotionally disowned my dad for now.
>>964813Again, I can relate. I lost my best friend years ago and it was my fault.
I tried to reconnect after half a year of radio silence. I was so scared she would reject me and she did. I sperged out a bit because of it, leaving a bad last impression.
It used to be fucking hell being truly alone for so long but I'm doing a bit better now, and I hope you'll get better too,
nonnie No. 964862
>>964850This sounds so terrible anon. I can't imagine how betrayed you must've felt back then - Being in a vulnerable state after losing your mom only to have your pain amplified by your own father.
I would've never suspected my dad of doing anything like that before I found out, and it's the kind of blood-bound trust you can only break once.
No. 964873
i don’t get it. is it possible to go to uni and return with raised blood pressure? because i know for fucking sure at this point i’m not only getting a degree but also a heavy dose of brain damage and infectious retardation. again at this FUCKING class that raised my blood pressure this time some 40 IQ ape decided to torture us and subject us to an ironic Ahahahahahha get it? Get it? Ironic bro xD joke about feminism and started a retarded debate with my religious instructor who in turn had to subject ME to her very own unique brand of retardation, because as we all know, “Men and women are not equal, here’s me vomiting some take i read on the internet because that’s all i do, repeat what other retards say who repeat what other retards say.” of course he had the most worn, thin, haggard pair of jeans i’ve ever seen, spotty t-shirt, and the aura of an embodied greasy french fry who parades around its incompetence and retardation as its own special brand of male quirkiness but somehow thinks itself clever enough to speak about feminism or anthropology or whatever…..? retard, if i showed you a picture of Le Feminism and yaoi, you wouldn’t be able to say which is which. in fact you’d say that feminism leads to yaoi, as evil women want to emasculate men — certainly not you, you’re a lost case with those thin jeans, your existence makes a case against procreation itself — and so they encourage feminized men with unnatural anime girl pupils and faggy spikey colored hair and those art bottom short cargo pants and a cardigan? a fucking cardigan? who makes men wear cardigans, except feminismsms? why does the world’s favourite internet user ( me) have to fucking do this everyday, just be subjected to this continuous horror over and over again? and then i took the wrong fucking bus and it took me twice as long as to get home. they just decided to nowhere, just like that
No. 964894
File: 1636558523315.jpg (20.96 KB, 580x578, Dumbass4Hire.jpg)
I lost my job a few hours ago seemingly out of nowhere and I don't know how to feel about it.
On one hand I am indifferent - I'll stay at home for a while and will focus on writing my thesis or will make some time for my hobbies while I look for a better job. I didn't plan on working there for long anyway because I want to do something a bit different in my field.
On the other hand it kinda stings, because now I feel like I'm not good enough in what I do. Also I hate not living up to peoples expectations. Nobody close to me knows yet and I'd hate to tell them and disappoint them when they see me as so successful. I wish job searching was faster than it is so I could pretend like I never stopped working and nobody would have to find out…
No. 964920
File: 1636561943375.jpg (379.33 KB, 480x477, Tumblr_l_330537601388751.jpg)
Got a new job tard wrangling programmers and I fucking hate it. Thought it would be easy money to manage a bunch of antisocial losers but they get on my nerves so much with their shitty jokes and incompetence. One day im going to bring in a whip to work and just start beating the hell out of them every time I get some dumbass message on slack.
No. 964988
>>964919Wow, thank you anon I really appreciate your answer. It really made me feel a lot better about my situation and calmed me down, you're great
Thank you for clearing my mind ♥
No. 965009
File: 1636568984608.jpeg (148.91 KB, 750x1139, F599BD74-BA4F-45FA-A4EA-1F593E…)
you know that awful disturbing feeling that you feel like you can’t really trust a family member you’re sort of close to or in close proximity to? i’m a very paranoid and neurotic person so of course i tend to overthink a lot but i seriously think my sister says shit to my mom without my knowledge and it doesn’t upset me but it made me learn to never spill anything or tell her much of anything anymore, not like i really do because no one cares and i’m a pretty avoidant person but something about her vibes doesn’t sit well with me. i remember the convos we used to have where it didn’t seem like she was jealous of me but i think there is some deep-seated issues because she feels like compared to me i received more attention as a child which is farthest from the truth when other family members rather talk to her it just doesn’t make any sense to me. everything “seemed” fine to me with her and then my mom tells me something very specific that she would never lecture me about and it just really makes me think she does not really fuck with me, something about my sister screams fake
No. 965043
File: 1636570475297.jpg (5.8 KB, 139x111, 1616183990578.jpg)
>gave my laptop to some repair shop because the keyboard doesn't work properly anymore for some very specific keys
>I ask the guy if he'll use a part sent from Asus to replace the keyboard, by the way he answers I'm 100% sure he'll order a brand new part from Asus
>the guy sends me a text more than a week later to tell me it's ready
>the keyboard is completely replaced, covered in scratches and dents and is ugly as fuck
>the guy tells me the inside of the keyboard was full of crumbs and he tried to clean it, but it feels way more disgusting right now, pushing some keys take more efforts
>noticed one screw was missing from the bottom of the laptop only after going inside my home
>the download file is empty for some reason
I'm so pissed off, but the keyboard works now, but it's so fucking ugly, I can't even cover anything with stickers.
No. 965114
>>963994>>965108Anon, I've been exactly where you are and more school wasn't the answer. Just left me in worse debt and I don't use the degree. What
did help was taking all the considerable energy I was pouring into my shitty job and channeling it into a different job. I applied at retail places I heard had better base pay and a more "woke" work culture (trust me, they actually do pay better) and worked my way up from there. Eventually my efforts were recognized with promotions that honestly saved my life. Don't put your heart and soul into a bad company, you deserve better. And this is coming from a wagey with a similar background.
No. 965193
>>964671>Sure but I’d rather not be a single mother and the odds of finding someone else I could love and actually want a family with isn’t sky high. It’s not easy to just dump a husband the way you’re making it sound.Slightly scrotey advice here and I normally wouldn't advise this, but these are exceptional circumstances.
You should do what men do and casually be on the lookout for the next one/backups so you have an opportunity to jump ship. You're only 30, there's plenty of time to find a man who wants to have kids.
And there's no guarantee Mr aboutface isn't gonna change his mind about the whole marriage and divorce you anyway.
So start scouting for a new one and get yourself some simps/orbiters so you have options.
Disclaimer: I normally think this behavior is really shitty but dropping
actually I don't want kids lel on someone after 8 years is far more shitty.
No. 965233
>>965229leave me alone
nonny i'm tilted and this isn't helping
No. 965234
>>965228anon are you me because I do get riled up easily, despite knowing the other party just wanted to get reaction out of me.
Being the youngest child and getting bullied to hell by my older siblings definitely traumatized me even now.
No. 965239
>>965108Hear me out, scam scrotes by selling undies or socks you never actually wore. Or pictures you can either fake or steal of like, feet or something.
Deepfake avatar, exorbitant prices, laugh at coomers while you take their money.
No. 965274
File: 1636593203671.jpg (12.32 KB, 231x218, 1508091771222.jpg)
I wish my stupid heroin addict brother would just fuck off. I'm so goddamn tired of him leaching off my dad and just ruining everything for everyone.
No. 965304
File: 1636600718531.jpg (128.92 KB, 315x411, Tumblr_l_431873309511346.jpg)
>>965284It's me, your skin walking stalker. Ive followed you to lolcow and shall continue e-stalking you while slowly adopting your posting style.
No. 965310
>>965297I have no personality too tbh
Is there a cure
No. 965319
File: 1636602313589.gif (904.73 KB, 245x245, 0F6C4943-F6F3-41AA-86B7-03527D…)
i’m kind of seething because an anon was pretty rude to me and idk why i’m taking it so personally right now
No. 965352
File: 1636605736883.jpeg (168.16 KB, 600x600, B00F95CC-549E-41C0-81EB-CE1624…)
I shut the door on something, and I was sad because it could mean a connection with someone else is gone.
But honestly? I don't need to be available to everyone. I am not for everyone. I'm a limited edition ass bitch!!!!!
No. 965355
>>965304LMAO nah she talks like
“m actlly yr sknwlker… m stlkin u on lolcow !!^__^”
No. 965392
File: 1636608969140.gif (1.63 MB, 540x404, tumblr_35edd8e78717061a7dddda0…)
ok so i understand trannies changing in women spaces is wrong, because they could potentially make women uncomfy by being in a state of undress around a man (or a male-bodied person, as i might say when arguing about it against a trans ally, whatever).
but how would i respond if they brought up lesbians? without giving myself away as a terf
No. 965409
>>965392Most if not all sexual assaults are committed by AMAB people. Guess it’s still
TERF-y, but undeniable.
No. 965436
File: 1636614190732.png (240.1 KB, 1590x812, 1536896144178.png)
>>965422Its different in prisons for some reason.
No. 965572
Whenever I feel like ordering some food, I open the app and after looking at the options, I stop feeling hungry and sometimes I even feel sick.
It’s annoying because sometimes I just don’t want to cook and I want to get something nice from an app, but it’s just like my stomach knots itself and refuses to let me pick something.
It’s the same when I’m shopping for anything, even clothes that I need for working, I can fantasize about buying the clothes and looking amazing with them, but when I’m at the store, I stop feeling like it and just pick whatever is the right size, unless I’m with another person, then I ask for opinions and get a bit more cheered up, but most of the times it’s just a chore and I feel retarded picking stuff, trying stuff, leaving stuff, buying stuff.
Sometimes I even question my life decisions while buying stuff like “haha, what am I even doing here buying this stationery set for myself? this is so dumb” I hate this so much.
No. 965589
File: 1636636074306.png (283.96 KB, 640x640, tumblr_6ae0ef3ab8d39e9141ada73…)
Last week a friend and relative of mine were venting about how annoying and selfish depressed people are and how it's best to just distance yourself from them if ''you always look out for them but they never bother to ask how you are doing.'' I get the point and I agree, but for some reason I'm reeling over that sentence because I feel like it was targeted at me. If someone opens up about their feelings, I will 100% be there to listen and do what I can. But unless I have a reason to, I'm not going to just out of the blue ask if they are ok. I'm not close irl with any of them and I never meet up with them, so I don't know half the things they talk about to each other. How can I reach out and ask how somoeone is feeling if I have no way of knowing I should suspect something is going on? I feel like it's not my place to ask how any of them are doing - they have each other for that, closer in both mental and physical distance.
I have used our discord to sometimes vent about depression etc, but I never expect anyone to be there to validate my feelings and make me feel better, and I have said as much. Usually after venting I delete everything or change the subject so it won't feel like I'm waiting for a response. Childlish as fuck, and I no longer vent to them at all, but we've talked about that and they have said they are understanding of the need to vent and most of them do it sometimes too. I have said I feel bad for sometimes venting and not having anything to give back for it and they have said it's fine, that they don't expect things like that to be an ''exchange.'' I feel sick thinking about the times my relative has randomly reached out to ask how I'm doing, because it now feels like something was expected in return (even if I never open up one on one like that), and I feel like a total shithead. I want to leave the discord server and just cut all ties so I won't accidentally inconvenience them.
They also mentioned being annoyed and exhausted by people who vent about their mental health problems but who never accept helpful suggestions and flat out refuse to seek therapy. And again, I agree. But. Privately she is assured that it's ok to vent to us and that they understand why she has an aversion for therapy. And that they are happy to lend an ear. Then they judge said behavior publicly (on a channel where there are some friends of riends & more distant people) as something extremely selfish and harmful, when it's in direct contradiction to what they have told her earlier privately. Had they told her earlier that it is exhausting to hear her denying help, maybe she would not have burdened you with that. But they told her it's ok.
I know I'm overthinking this. But it feels shitty to think they have said it's ok to vent and that they understand, that it is not an exchange where they expect something back for occasionally listening, only to later turn 180°.
Sorry for the probably kinda incoherent wall of text.
No. 965647
>>965619Insecure bitches love to neg awkward/quiet girls who mind their own business because someone not going out of their way to waste their energy being “friendly” feels threatening to them. Everything other people do is about them, in their minds. If you’re not majorly affected by it, just ignore them. There’s no helping these people. Otherwise, if it’s causing you a lot of stress, feel free to trade in the worry induced fatigue for a whole lot of forced nicety induced fatigue. There’s a chance they’ll stop talking shit if you blow smoke up their ass regularly, but there’s also a chance it’ll give them an ego boost and they’ll talk even more shit.
A couple of my first jobs had people like that. I thought I was giving off some horrible, selfish bitch vibes until I finally ended up working with normal people. Ran into an old coworker years later and realized that they were actually the mean, awkward bitch, not me.
No. 965687
File: 1636645442418.png (23.61 KB, 300x250, 0D8075DA-BF5D-4EE5-A47E-BE19DE…)
Daily reminder that Town Hall is in 3 days anons. Don’t forget to fill out the form and check for correct time.
No. 965710
>>965700i have witnessed a surprising number of people do this, but it annoys me even in milder forms (like people audibly complaining about traffic and other drivers when they drive) so maybe i’m blowing it out of proportion
i’ve felt like i’m the true autist because it annoys me so much
No. 965751
File: 1636651890303.png (113.24 KB, 250x250, 1632584950105.png)
there's this annoying as fuck pickme tripfag in a 4ch general i browse. said general is on /vg/, there's sometimes fujoposting (which is always good, so that's why i even post), but this retarded bitch is always whining about "heteroposting being rare ):" and seething at gay ships on fucking 4chan, in a general where moids are always talking about wanting to fuck the underaged women characters (which i don't even care about, tbh, it just makes me squint when she cries over fujos but doesn't respond to them at all)
i filter her of course but idk i get annoyed at the fact that she's even posting. someone reopen the terminally online thread please
No. 965791
>>965647Long text wall incoming because I need to vent sorry.
ESL chan here, when you said I could blow smoke up their ass I thought you mean I should be assertive. Anyways I demanded to be given respect and I called her the b word to one of the two female colleagues that are the most rude to me even though it wasn’t as bad as the girl who called me confused and retarded…
even though I was assertive I am not feeling alright. Because in that environment we should be rude to be given respect. And it fucking sucks and makes me cry. I hate retards.
>>965663I am not awkward anymore, but I do stand out yes. She’s been rude to me because she thought I was doing a certain task thing incorrectly. Like filling in a bucket ffs. We don’t do it from the faucet we tap the water from a tube that automatically makes the perfect soap solution for mopping floors etc…
Yet I got called a “confused girl who needs guidance”.
When I wanted to mop the floor she was blocking my way and asked me questions what I was gonna do with the mop. Then the supervisor said I should stop mopping and instead just do dishes. Instead of telling her off. Justice doesn’t exist.
Honestly I am not someone with insecurity issues. And I am not usually extreme. But as a 10 year old I was placed in a mental institution because I was mute due to the bullying so this hurts incredibly. Anyone calling me a schizophrenic irl could
trigger me really badly. It gives me vietnam flashbacks because the workers in the asylum abused me physically. I am sorry for the mental breakdown but I am just incredibly hurt by her comment.
I almost want to slit my wrists but I know that’d be fucking stupid. And that I’ll forget about it tomorrow. Not gonna reread my post. Idc if anyone calls me crazy or understands where I’m cominy from lol. Loonies rock.
No. 965799
File: 1636655120666.jpeg (647.67 KB, 1242x1673, 96BBEB09-E7C6-424D-8869-DA1C73…)
>>965772Send her pictures of anime girls with the scum manifiesto. Her clouded brain will look at the girls first, and then she will read the text. You will get lots of (you)s, but it could
trigger her.
No. 965807
File: 1636656470671.gif (323.83 KB, 498x367, sailor-moon-venus-bored.gif)
>>965799i'd rather just ignore her tbh. trying to bait her into a response will probably only fuel into her attention-seeking habits + make fujo-posting catch even more fire, as she's loved by the thread moids (for earlier mentioned nlog, pickme behavior)
thanks though.
No. 965809
File: 1636656916374.gif (1.68 MB, 509x208, tumblr_oee0wyxDMu1up42jgo6_540…)
I had a little chat about my upcoming performance review (I'm nearing the end of my probation period) with a coworker who's also sort of a supervisor to me and my socially retarded ass couldn't figure out if they are implying that they were afraid that I would resign after a coworker behaved in an unprofessional manner with me or that I should resign and realize that this job isn't for me. When they speak they use metaphors and similes and meander a lot and also the whole talk was in a language that is not my mother tongue AND it was in Teams without the webcam on so I didn't get to see their body language so the whole thing felt impossible to decipher. Ever since that conversation my brain has been replaying it over and over again, trying to find implications what they really meant and I cannot fucking find peace. I cannot legit decide if I'm overthinking the conversation and imagining the implications that I felt were there. I like this job, I want to keep it and work here but I don't come across as confident in my abilities and probably have ADHD as well (I.cannot.ever.focus and am also super forgetful) so it's gonna be a borderline miracle if they decide to offer me a contract
No. 965832
>>965827Get a cat,
nonnie. Or just a cute animal in general.
No. 965876
File: 1636662482572.jpeg (17.36 KB, 300x300, 79F0B70D-C5C8-4693-8456-A06BBA…)
I have the feminine urge of wanting to fuck a scrote’s girlfriend right in front of him and watching as his face turns sour and distraught that I can actually make her orgasm. Does anyone else ever have these thoughts on their period? I’m losing my mind
No. 965882
>>965878I mean, talking to males
is a pain in the ass, being desired by males in any shape or form is tiresome, so don’t worry, I hope you get a nigel someday.
No. 965896
>>965892All women I've had as housemates, excluding the ones in long relationships, had guys from their classes/other things ask them out. This has never happened to me
I am going to leave out my classes are 90% women and the men are mostly obviously gay, and as said before I don't really go out. It's not like they were looking for it, either, men just came to them and talked to them. Wild stuff.
No. 965916
>>961901Why is almost none of the Hosts I contact on Workaway are going to ignore my messages?
Is it the texts I work so hard on making based on every profile? is it my profile? Do I look terrible? It is my What do you want? I'm being very reasonable with everything and I say that I will try to help in every way possible. I JUST NEED TO DO MY CITIZENSHIP WHILE I AM THERE. NOTHING MORE. I WILL HELP YOU 24/7 I JUST NEED MY CITIZENSHIP. I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOUSE, GROCERIES, COOKING, ANY TYPE OF CONSTRUCTION, YOUR WEBSITE, YOUR FARM/GARDEN.
IT WILL NOT TAKE A LOT OF TIME. PLEASE, AT LEAST ANSWER WITH A NO.
Why doesn't anyone fucking respond? No clue.
(namefag) No. 965935
>>965809The more I think about it, the more obvious it is that they are going to fire me. I forgot to answer emails many times. I rushed some tasks I was given. I sometimes asked questions that I had asked before but forgot that I had asked them. I am forgetful. Overly emotional. Overly focused on feelings. Did not make enough effort to build a good relationship with my coworkers. I asked for help more than I should have, at this point I should already be able to do tasks on my own.
But then again, what if they see me differently? Ffs I cannot get out of this thought loop
No. 965968
File: 1636668039673.gif (1.4 MB, 400x254, 13BC6B20-FA07-4099-AB3C-3C001E…)
I am so sick of negative friends injecting their baseless theories in to my brain whether that be out of boredom or bitterness. When your friend comes to you for advice or reassurance, support them, boost their self esteem, tell them they’ve got this and keep going and if it all falls to shit, be there to listen and be a shoulder to cry on when it does. Support your friends to grow and feel good enough. Don’t, when your friend comes to talk to you about something start looking at the situation pessimistically based on your own unrelated misfortunes or making up some dramatic baseless soap opera script your brain has conjured up under the guise of “I just don’t want to see you get hurt”. You’re not protecting them by doing this, you’re hurting them! You’re damaging their self esteem, belief in themselves and causing them to enter situations paranoid and in a negative mindset all for something that isn’t even proven to be reality and preventing them from enjoying the here and now. Stop pissing on your friends parade. The dumb shit my friends have come out with over the years, even one time a friend was trying to convince me a guy I was speaking to was fucking his landlord plucked from literal thin air which was laughable. There is a big difference between letting your friend know that their boyfriend is actually cheating or is an abusive pos and just creating your own delusional plotlines. I wish my dumb ass would stop running to my friends for reassurance and ending up with them adding gasoline to the tiny flame of self doubt I already have and making things 10x worse.
No. 965969
File: 1636668048758.jpg (53.98 KB, 1080x1080, 4690ac932ecc391af1b4b5428e1797…)
I hate how my entire life revolves about my boyfriend. I wait everyday, excited to talk and see him while doesn't have the same energy for me as I do for him. I ALWAYS put him first above anything else like: 'oh I should workout but [redacted] already texted me that he will be home in 10 mins! Lets just do it another time!' or '[redacted] doesn't have as many hours of work as he normaly does lets abandon everything just to spend some time with him!' or 'Sorry, but we can't see each other today I have to go to the gym. Can't allow myself to lose these gains.' I am sure you get the point. He is basically my top one priority while he doesnt do the same. I will ask him if he wants to meet up only for him to say something like 'Sorry, my mate already asked me lets just see another time' or 'Sorry, I am seeing you a lot I also want to see my homie since we haven't seen each other since a week okay?' Like bitch wtf I would literally drop everything instantly just for you to be your 2nd or 3rd choice? He also ALWAYS takes his time with like everything and it almost feels like he is actively doing this? Whenever we are talking with eachother in private he is really nice, sweet and caring but once we are in public and his mate is talking with us, I literally no longer exist for him. He will just talk to his mate completly ignoring my existance and acting like I am only his friend. I don't fucking get it. Everything I do is just wait for him every single day, spend time with him and after he is gone think about him again. He is like 24/7 in my head and I can't stop thinking about him. Why do I have to be so fucking obsessed with him especially because its fucking one-sided. After almost 5 months of dating his mate and I are still on the same level of importance, despite knowing us both since 7 years. What the fuck am I doing wrong? I don't want to drop everything for him but I just want to spend as much time as possible with him and still continue being my own person. Why can't he do the same for me? I bet he would care much more about me If I were pretty like picrel an actual woman he finds attractive unlike me. I fucking hate myself.
No. 965981
>>965968Why are these people your “friends”? Having no friends would be preferable to
toxic ones that just use you for your positivity or realistic optimism. I can’t stand pessimists and the bitterness, anyone who talks like that actually enjoys bringing other down. Fuck that
No. 965986
>>965969It's time to find a new boyfriend. People will say "hurr durr you need to work on not being clingy" but some people just need a different level of attention and commitment from a relationship. You will continue to be unhappy because you're expecting the same amount of passion from a lukewarm person. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or you're not deserving of the same treatment, you're just not compatible. FYI, I'm similar to you, I'm very passionate and want to be around my partner a lot despite having hobbies and things of my own to take care of.
>>965983Bad advice, you are basically telling her to manipulate someone into chasing her. When she can just find a good guy who she doesn't have to manipulate, who gives her as much as she gives her current boyfriend, or even more.
No. 965989
>>965969Stop putting him first,
before yourself! You come first, no matter how much you love him. Learn from him, and start doing the things you enjoy, without thinking about him 24/7. Breathe.
No. 966030
>>965966I love you Elaine Miller. Thank you for acknowledging me by posting me on multiple threads. It's not my fault your socks are super easy to spot and I tag them to warn other farmers.
Don't worry, I still love you
Xoxoxo
No. 966042
File: 1636671293158.jpeg (69.45 KB, 828x458, 5CCF7182-B3FE-44EA-B1F4-359ACA…)
He was a bitch to be on the lolcow discord
No. 966088
>>965876>watching as his face turns sour and distraughtthe majority of scrotes would get turned on by that unfortunately
>>966047i have the opposite problem, i keep wanting to a-log them kek
No. 966130
File: 1636677515208.jpg (63.6 KB, 422x750, 1583198049727.jpg)
>bpd-chan
>currently having identity crisis
>realize I'm too old to pretend to define myself by adopting a fashion
>don't even know what fashion women my age are supposed to wear
>crisis takes weird turn into hiding in black sweatpants and hoodies and developing a late in life eating disorder
whoops, should have worked harder on being human
No. 966131
File: 1636677728960.jpg (76.92 KB, 653x499, 5bb5wk.jpg)
>>966130hello kindred spirit, best of luck on your journey.
No. 966157
>>965827Hey
nonnie, I had my first kid recently and my general thoughts on pregnancy are this: While some people may be unlucky enough to get weird side effects, if you are healthy, active, in your twenties, and have a support system, it will be a cake walk (comparatively). I thought I’d be more
triggered by the body horror elements of pregnancy, but it ended up not even phasing me when they came around. I was so excited to meet my kid that I didn’t even really care. My worst symptom was insane swelling in the final months, that persisted for a week or two after delivery. But when that subsided, I ended up dropping the whole 20kg I gained in less than a month with zero exercise. I hate to say “good vibes only” but I honestly think that going with the flow and not really thinking about the process while it was happening helped. I went through labor and birth without an epidural by the way, and it hurt, but I wouldn’t even say it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt.
I’d definitely do it again for another kid. I think if you have the resources and really want to raise a child it’s worth it, in my opinion. I won’t lie, not being able to jog or exercise and being forced to waddle walk in the last months was frustrating beyond belief. I think that’s why I was so unafraid of giving birth. I was just ready to finally move easily again.
No. 966160
>>965699My mum does this to an insane degree, "life is so fucking unfair" and does it only when someone is in the room and then looks at you expecting a reply.
like wtf am I supposed to do about it, I cant make everything magically better.
No. 966310
File: 1636692329756.jpeg (188.67 KB, 750x1000, D07CA9C4-1FE8-4DE3-8265-A06718…)
I hate contrapoints. I hate that a man slaps on greasy makeup and wigs and plays pretend female for millions of followers while women like myself nearly kill ourselves because we’ve constantly been denied our own personhood. This man is wearing a symbolic mutilated corpse of what he thinks a woman is and I just wish he drop fucking dead
No. 966315
>>966314>he has super TERF-y views anon haha but get fucking real, the only real
TERF view he would ever have in his entire life and online career is realizing he is not a biological woman and never will be and that a trans woman is in a different category
No. 966320
>>966315He’s a truscum and doesn’t really believe in enbies. If he were anyone else he would be labeled
TERF by the people who worship him
No. 966331
File: 1636694323185.jpg (32.45 KB, 567x514, seasonal-depression-hittin-sea…)
I want to draw, but feel to depressed to do anything but daydream better times.
No. 966383
>>965969The most important person in your life should always be YOU, nona. Have a littlöe self-respect and start prioritising the person who always shows up for you and puts in the effort for you: yourself.
Seriously. Your BF is beginning to see you as an NPC because you're always there, with no indication of having a life outside him. Make yourself scarce. Make plans. Get a hobby. Start exercising outside the home. Make plans that do not include him, and don't give them up for him. "Sorry, gotta scrub the baseboards/watch the Bachelor/have an early night/go to the pottery class tonight!" And suddenly you're interesting to him again because you're not available 24/7 like some slave.
No. 966389
File: 1636703992101.jpeg (58.63 KB, 750x537, 52725420-6F46-4FD6-AF59-19E4E3…)
White person: breathes
Internet:(racebait)
No. 966486
>>965869dont even wanna use this word but i honestly feel like i was gaslighted. she even told me she was gonna tell my psychiatrist how i feel like some kind of threat because im somehow insane for not going along with this vaccine kek
im so sick of being treated like an idiot i know i am not a doctor and there are many normal people who are concerned about whats happening and now i cant stop thinking about this
No. 966707
>>966705We don't live together yet, so I have no private access to his phone to check, unfortunately.
>>966706Since I never do that and I already made a snide joke about him being with another girl he will 100% know what I'm doing.
No. 966717
File: 1636744183248.jpg (61.01 KB, 965x569, 7EBB8DE6567D40AE877F94F7B242AB…)
>laptop working fine last night
>hit "install updates and shut down option" (huge retard mistake)
>try to boot it up in the morning
>black screen
>wait 30 minutes, restart
>black screen still
I want to kill myself so badly. This laptop isn't even two months old, and I have shit for uni to do, plus I really don't feel like having to go through the process of reinstalling my games and stuff.
I'm going to take a nap and hope it's just Windows update lagging or something. And if it isn't working still I guess I'll have to send an email to my professors (and I've already had PC problems once this semester, and had to deal with being a week behind) and go through the motions of trying to get a return/replacement. God this sucks. I didn't even do anything wrong but trust Windows for a second. Please
No. 966722
File: 1636744625488.jpg (214.68 KB, 1069x1049, 1635444948133.jpg)
A guy asked me to go on a date I said yes and when I asked when and where he stopped responding, it's been a day. I don't understand lol
No. 966734
>>966722Sounds low effort, like he was expecting you to pop up with a suggestion when you mentioned it and now because you didn't he's wanting you to reach out to beg for it with ideas.
When I was dating men were always eager to secure a date with me and respecting my time. The fuckboys and men who were spinning plates were the ones who typically played games like the one you're describing. I think you'd be happier with someone else–and consider this–now is when he's supposed to be on his best behavior, and if he can't even manage a simple date plan then he's liable to act worse when he's in a secured and steady relationship where he'll put in even less effort. I'd move on.
No. 966744
File: 1636746740952.jpg (45.81 KB, 580x580, 1718dfb8ba3b745a229f1f4436b604…)
why do so many former female classmates of mine have to fall into the tumblr/twitter-esque performative activism pipeline now?
No. 966749
>>966732It's working now, so nevermind. Called up Amazon support and had a nice lady lead me through an actual reset (when I turned it off, I guess I wasn't holding down the power button long enough).
Whew I feel so RELAXED
No. 966750
>>966536thank you
nonny! you are making me feel sane, just the way she really made it seem like im such an idiot and shes gonna tell my psych on me really bothered me especially because i called about something else in the first place lol
i wonder if anyone else's doctor has said something similar? im just trying move past it
No. 966752
File: 1636748759898.jpg (14.33 KB, 400x400, f2LnzSBB_400x400.jpg)
i shit myself while on a date
No. 966765
>>966762>faggot kek no wonder he keeps asking
nonny's opinion on different boys
No. 966771
>>966770samefag
Before anyone asks about the contents of his twitter, it's just him sperging about trump and getting no likes
No. 966800
Moved to a new country for university, on shaky grounds as I've never really recovered from my mental retardation. First month was okay, then it got progressively more overwhelming, until I could not cope with both my emotional state and schoolwork. Started to dream about suicide, having nightmares every night, to the point where I couldn't sleep without the light on.. Realised this and started looking for help, turns out the country is extremely bureaucratic and its really hard to get help, in a notice less than 6 months. During this time I copied some homework because I started having frequent panic attacks and started hearing voices, so I didn't participate in lectures at all. In the span of 2 months I made zero friends and went full schizo, and in the end obviously failed my exams. Now the school also spotted a couple of the copied homework when I was trying to get help and are looking to throw me out of university, the people I got the homework from want my head on a stick. My parents are already preparing the stick for my head, or so I believe.. I'm completely debilitated, not going outside, staring at the wall for hours and waiting until my psychosis goes so out of hand I hang myself.. It is over girls..
No. 966819
File: 1636753817260.jpg (157.28 KB, 1080x1167, 20210119_163600.jpg)
>>961901im so fucking sick of pretending to be a sjw or a wokie just to keep my friends
No. 966845
File: 1636756289765.jpg (26.86 KB, 640x356, 615o3mx0uic61.jpg)
I think my fuck buddy just tried to shit test me, or perhaps he had other entanglements but didn't want to back out of his plans with me. It just turned out to be very strange and awkward.
We text on and off throughout the day. He asked me about my plans after work. I told him nothing but I was getting out early so I wanted to go get sushi for myself. He kept flip-flopping from wanting me to stop by his place to bang and then suddenly he happened to be near where I work saying he left something at his school so he asked me if I wanted to grab food. I agree (I decided to go for a cheap place because he's in school right now and is too broke to pay for my premium sushi).
He's awkward when I met him at the restaurant. There was a notable distance and he didn't attempt to hug or kiss me. He sits across from me. He tells me he's angry at his partner, he's poly and has problems with his main squeeze. He didn't touch his food. He said he just wanted to go home and clean, and tbf his apartment is a fucking disaster.
Clearly we weren't about to fool around and he was being weird. He apologized multiple times for being upset, and after a whopping 25 minutes of conversation he calls it and we leave. He was blaming his partner a little too much, clearly he had an agenda and needed an excuse. He opened my car door for me but kept his mask on, no kiss or hug goodbye. I played it cool but I was judging the fuck out of his odd ass behavior out of nowhere. He said he'd text me tomorrow, so I sure as shit ain't gonna be reaching out to him first.
Imo I think he made too many plans and fucked someone out that way and had more plans tonight, but didn't back out from me thinking it would hurt my feelings.
I honestly don't give two shits what he does but I wish scrotes didn't feel they have to play dumb mind games. I'm too old and secure in myself to care about his foolishness. I just want good company and great sex when I go out. I don't want to hear about his drama I want to hear how he desires the fuck out of me and wants me bent over on the fucking table. If he just would've called it off with me earlier I would have done something else and gotten my damn sushi. At least I didn't have to pay for my dinner, but now he ruined the image I had of him. I want to just ghost.
No. 966851
File: 1636756477708.jpg (40.93 KB, 720x960, Tumblr_l_3218805978145.jpg)
>>966845>Giving sex or even any amount of attention to a PoLy slob with baggage Idk how you even get wet to that, praying for you
No. 966862
I know "I do not wish to be seen, do not perceive me uwu" is some twitter shit, but I'm really feeling it right now. It's the second time a guy went up to me outside to tell me he always sees me walking past ~here~. As he says, he's been watching me for the last fucking year, because I always walk past his apartment, and he waited for an opportunity to talk to me, like this red light we stood at. When saying sorry, boyfriend won't like me meeting with some other guy, instead of getting the wink he says I'm lying because I only ever walk past there alone and to please think about his offer. Even if I were lying, accept the easy-out, will you?? This probably doesn't even seem so bad reading this, but I'm honestly just disturbed at the thought of getting seen on my walks often enough that someone manages to get some vague outline of my routine not only once, but twice. I'm conflicted between changing my walk route to another one and thinking if it's happened on this one, it'll happen on the other one too, so I might as well stay on this one. I already have massive problems with paranoia, and this really doesn't help.
No. 966885
>>966862Change your route for sure
nonny, this guy straight up told you he's been watching you consistently. Even if you walk past his house often he'd need to be staring out the window specifically looking for you to notice, surely. Also means he timed himself being outside to talk to you. Defffinitely change the route, this isn't a normal thing to happen and is unlikely to happen on a new route.
No. 966899
Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap;wash the color clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry;
don't walk barehead in the hot sun;
cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil;
soak your little cloths right after you take them off;
when buying cotton to make yourself a nice blouse, be sure that it doesn't have gum on it, because that way it won't hold up well after a wash;
soak salt fish overnight before you cook it;
is it true that you sing benna in Sunday school?;
always eat your food in such a way that it won't turn someone else's stomach;
on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the sl*t you are so bent on becoming;
don't sing benna in Sunday school;
you mustn't speak to wharf-rat boys, not even to give directions;
don't eat fruits on the street - flies will follow you;
but I don't sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school;
this is how to sew on a button;
this is how to make a buttonhole for the button you have just sewed on;
this is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and to prevent yourself from looking like the sl*t you are so bent on becoming;
this is how you iron your father's khaki shirt so that it doesn't have a crease;
this is how you iron your father's khaki pants so that they don't have a crease;
this is how you grow okra - far from the house, because okra tree harbors red ants;
when you are growing dasheen, make sure it gets plenty of water or else it makes your throat itch when you are eating it;
this is how you sweep a corner;
this is how you sweep a whole house;
this is how you sweep a yard;
this is how you smile to someone you don't like too much;
this is how you smile at someone you don't like at all;
this is how you smile to someone you like completely;
this is how you set a table for tea;
this is how you set a table for dinner;
this is how you set a table for dinner with an important guest;
this is how you set a table for lunch;
this is how you set a table for breakfast;
this is how to behave in the presence of men who don't know you very well, and this way they won't recognize immediately the sl*t I have warned you against becoming;
be sure to wash every day, even if it is with your own spit;
don't swat down to play marbles - you are not a boy, you know;
don't pick people's flowers - you might catch something;
don't throw stones at blackbirds, because it might not be a blackbird at all;
this is how to make a bread pudding;
this is how to make doukona;
this is how to make pepper pot;
this is how to make a good medicine for a cold;
this is how to make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child;
this is how to catch a fish;
this is how to throw back a fish you don't like and that way something bad won't fall on you;
this is how to bully a man;
this is how a man bullies you;
this is how to love a man, and if this doesn't work there are other ways, and if they don't work don't feel too bad about giving up;
this is how to spit up in the air if you feel like it, and this is how to move quick so that it doesn't fall on you;
this is how to make ends meet;
always squeeze bread to make sure it's fresh;
but what if the baker won't let me feel the bread?;
you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won't let near the bread?
No. 966902
>>966845>Entanglementlol.
Also, you should just ghost him tbh. Don't let that scrote start dumping his emotional baggage on you if you're only getting sex in return.
No. 966924
>>966876So what? Strangers don't know shit about my relationship status or his. He was certainly hugging and being close to me in public before.
>wahhhh you're having sex with a poly scrote why aren't you in trad monogamy with some moid who's going to fuck you over and be a bigger pain in the ass on a personal level like a right non-degenerate woman?!?!?! Kek, are the men out in forces baiting tonight? I don't know why recently so many farmers are suddenly opposed to women getting what they need out of men around here. What's going on? I'm not pining after a poly man for marriage material, I'm fucking him cause up until now I thought he was charming and had a massive cock that satisfied my sexual needs and I got free entertainment out of the gig.
>>966902Yeah I'm definitely not about being his therapist. I just want my meals paid, sex on demand, and being made to feel desired.
No. 966931
>>966927Are you me
Even if they're just being casually friendly I latch on
No. 966932
File: 1636762231606.jpeg (219.64 KB, 1920x1080, 9C57E5BC-15FC-438E-B68B-41A81A…)
I’ve been so busy and distracted that I missed watching two new episodes of 600lb Life. It’s not the same without all the commentary
No. 966936
File: 1636762609294.jpg (89.33 KB, 1125x827, 97yt65.jpg)
>>966924nobody likes polyfags because they're annoying and gross, has nothing to do with "trad" shit and hating them isn't "recent". it's even worse when a man does it, he's automatically bottom of the barrel
No. 967235
File: 1636802527041.png (196.74 KB, 589x375, 1634882912864.png)
the entire generation of educated middle and upper class young men in my country have turned our awfui
they embody everything wrong with Muslim culture and Western culture at the same time, they watch porn, they use anti-feminist rhetoric but they talk about being Ghazis(Islamic warriors and conquerors ) and meme about ghanznawe-hind while sucking up to Arabs and Turks cause of their inferiority complex
Muhajirs and Urdu speaking Punjabi's despise the fact the people most ethnically and racially close to them are Hindus and SIkhs so they just reject reality, try to appeal to the fantasy of an Ummah and want nothing more then to be subjugated by Arabs and Turks
No. 967256
File: 1636808443186.gif (4.29 MB, 400x259, tumblr_4ef582a0833e66b9981ed6b…)
my boyfriend cares more about the feelings of hypothetical troons than trying to talk civilly with me, despite hating people and not caring about the general population, and i just don't get it. i think it's in part because he has troon friends/is troon aligned at the very least, but i think he also just loves disagreeing with shit i feel passionate about. he used to send me shit about retarded trannies and we'd laugh but the second i actually peaked he stopped doing that and resorted to calling me "bigoted, weak, pathetic, deranged, ignorant, retarded" and refusing to actually talk civilly about it with me because "why should i give a hateful bigoted ignorant person any respect when they're so blatantly intolerant?" yet he makes sweeping comments about how awful women are. and any time i combat him, or any time i make a comment about how awful men are it's met by "you really think women don't engage in this too?" or "if you can't tell the difference between me being serious and banter then you have reading comprehension issues". i get i'm retarded nonnies and i'm the meme of "i can fix him" but he literally is a person who supposedly cares about truth, logic, science, and forming sound opinions. yet somehow none of that applies to when talking about this topic which is absurd given he literally HATES giving people validation, me included lol, yet feels so strongly about me needing to placate the delusion that males are female. i feel like there's "hope" if he'd just engage with me instead of trying to just belittle me. but i don't even fucking know any more and i don't even think it's worth it. he sent me that stupid shaun video trying to dissect the bbc article talking about how troons feel entitled to sex by lesbians and was like "lmao try to refute this". i just want to kill myself most days quite honestly
No. 967261
File: 1636809458551.jpg (23.03 KB, 480x360, sloth.jpg)
since my childhood trauma from online groomer coomers i havent been the same. i spent much of my time feeling disgusting, or obsessing over whomever i had a crush on. before all that shit i used to be super into learning, anything and everything, drawing, singing, sports, making up stories, and all the things a normal child should enjoy. this makes me so sad. my old self is dead. my whole self now is a cope. i spend most of my time procrastinating and getting anxious. when i got pills for my anxiety they made me depressed and insomniac. i feel so lazy yet i want to do everything, all the things i have wanted to do since my old self died. i just can't stick to finishing a project or picking up a book. i have been coping with coffee, alcohol and sweet food. i gained 10 kgs, i started eating gluten and dairy which i am allergic to. i want to stop and become how i used to be before i lost happiness for everything i used to love to do. i am becoming something pathetic if this continues.
No. 967276
>>967272Fucking kek bitches going full retard after getting cucked is the highest level of copium of possible.
>marrying my fiancée who is also a lesbian, is a "re-enactment of heteronormativityDid she not know polytards can get married? She just told you she’s bangmaid-zoned permanently.
No. 967279
File: 1636811727703.png (463.93 KB, 577x577, 102288238_639781733286221_2325…)
another birthday alone but it's okay. i'll make sure that 23 will be better
No. 967282
File: 1636812108915.jpeg (49.76 KB, 540x540, 588C5BC5-FCB4-40CA-9232-F4E06D…)
>>967279Happy birthday!!! I had two bdays scrolling lc but it’s cooo. Treat yourself to something anon.
No. 967285
File: 1636812296872.jpeg (99.68 KB, 672x900, 9619ECC7-3A97-4A82-8CF0-1A2864…)
i am in an abusive relationship and it fucking sucks. i do it to myself. i am only suffering because i'm too stubborn, stupid, and prideful to leave. i keep thinking about the good times. i'm elated by the apologies and the lovebombing, even though i know it's wrong. it just feels so soothing after being insulted and betrayed. right now id do anything to get to that part of the cycle. i dont care that it will loop back into pain. at this point it's so foolish of me to expect anything better. these fights and outbursts and terrible nights are a routine in our relationship, so why am i always so surprised and hurt when it happens again? i dont want to leave. i want to see the person i love, i want to feel important again. i'm really tired. even if i did manage to get out of this it would lead to 100 other problems, and in any case i'm so broken i'll gravitate towards abusive people for the rest of my life. i wish i could have just one moment of pure happiness and then die. that's my wish.
No. 967296
File: 1636813477420.jpg (18.78 KB, 275x244, IMG-20211005-WA0033.jpg)
>>967285I feel you so hard,
nonnie.
>i'm elated by the apologies and the lovebombing, even though i know it's wrong. it just feels so soothing after being insulted and betrayed. right now id do anything to get to that part of the cycle. i dont care that it will loop back into pain. It's almost like a high. I'm completely convinced that there's an addictive element to staying in
abusive relationships. At least for me it feels like it.
>in any case i'm so broken i'll gravitate towards abusive people for the rest of my lifeI feel the same exact way.
No. 967314
>>967296yeah you're totally right. lately i've been thinking i'm addicted not just to the honeymoon phase, but to the idea that i am the best, most devoted lover in the world for living in this hell, because otherwise i would not deserve the lovebombing. i'm earning the affection one insult at a time. it's grueling, but it's mine…
>>967301that's completely understandable
>>967310i know what you mean. acknowledging the problem is the first step towards finding a solution, but i think a lot of people in bad situations get stuck there and begin to identify solely with their misery. it's an issue of complacency, self pity, and of the general fear of change/the unknown. in any case i don't take offence. i came to the vent thread and not relationship advice specifically because i will not listen to the glaringly obvious solution lol
No. 967343
>>967272>>967295reminds me of when I saw this movie, I saw this in my early radfem phase and I swear to god this almost made me want to stop identifying as a feminist
its supposedly a film "lesbian radical feminists" but their entire radical feminist actions consist of trashing stores and this is apparently somehow a great feminist act, throughout the whole film I didn't understand at all how a bunch of privileged middle class girls egging a Victoria's secret that some poor immigrant woman would have to clean up would accomplish anything and then early in on the film they protest against gay marriage saying that marriage is an "outdated institution rooted in misogyny and white supremacy"
No. 967356
>>967285therapy is what can help you escape this shitty cycle (it worked for me, anyway), but you need 1) a really good therapist with whom you fit well (I had an excellent psychologist), 2) true commitment to change your life – it takes time and energy – more than you could imagine, 3) the will to dive into deep, ugly things in your past that may have shaped the way you deal with relationships now, 4) openness to trying different therapeutic modalities to find things that work for you, 5) the ability to be absolutely, brutally honest with your therapist (more honest than you've ever been before with anyone in your life) and 6) some money to pay for it. believe it or not, the money is actually one of the easiest parts. look for therapists who charge on a sliding scale. I ended up paying off my therapist in full maybe 10 years after my 20 years of therapy was done. that may sound like a lot, but my other option was to be miserable for life, or perhaps not even alive today, so choose wisely. and good luck.
No. 967361
>>967356samefag but I want to point out that not all people are as excruciatingly s l o w as I was in therapy. it might not even take you five years, who knows? and the progress benefits you the whole way.
also, finding a compatible therapist doesn't necessarily mean finding one w/whom you enjoy chit-chatting. find someone insightful; someone who asks hard questions that truly make you think ← well, that's what I needed, anyway. but of course it's not about having a great time while you're there; it's about doing the work.
No. 967459
>>967445I'm not financially or mentally in the place right now to explore a potential creative side, especially after I wasted so many years chasing certain stem routes only to fail. At this point I don't even know if I'll make it to my next birthday stably.
Still, I sincerely appreciate your words anon, you grandma sounds amazing. I'd love to take one of classes lol
No. 967484
File: 1636831206238.jpeg (37.78 KB, 600x327, 2436831C-6C3A-4985-A4EF-FC2341…)
>>967452>boohoo abusive ex gave me trauma when i was barely an adult>also a year later im pregnant and a girlboss uwuwhat is this flaunting shit go back to motivational instagram
No. 967488
>>967480can I recommend you to take a break from your current social media, or just add your friends through messenger.
and eh, finding new cliches to be around and not feeling miserable 24/7 is totally recommended too. go ahead and make a secret new social nonna, connect with new people, it does get better.
No. 967493
File: 1636832105023.png (107.2 KB, 567x680, E_ZzieGXMAIPT1B.png)
I love my friend dearly, he means the world to me, but god. He's gay and has this habit of putting on acts of femininity at random and it just… it's always so awkward to witness. It infuriates me. It'd be different if it was natural but it's so clearly put on it only ever makes me cringe. I'm glad he feels comfortable around me and I know that I should just be grateful I have someone as good as he is in my life but it kills me to watch him "act pretty" and have a painfully forced feminine disposition. I don't even know why exactly it annoys me so much, but it does. Even thinking about it is irritating.
No. 967522
>>967453The summer before my boyfriend and I started dating I waxed my moustache but it hurt as hell and felt unnatural. I've been using depilatory cream for a year until a month ago when I decided to cut it out because it was
toxic garbage that barely served its purpose and because it has made visible small capillar veins on my upper lip. Now I just shave with a razor, until the day I'm single again and my lovely moustache can come back. Women with moustaches are cool, my cousin has hers and I feel the envy. If you're a cold and dry girl, a moustache gives you charisma.
No. 967531
File: 1636835448606.gif (380.65 KB, 220x220, EC1C1119-BB9F-4447-A66F-3AF830…)
why am I so worthless and unlovable
No. 967542
File: 1636836292249.jpeg (19.33 KB, 235x275, 404441E4-BD01-478E-BBD5-895F62…)
I know The Sopranos ended in 2007, so spoilers for it shouldn’t matter anymore, but the fact that all I did was type a character’s name into google and the autofill straight up tells me that character dies IS FUCKING LAME.
No. 967565
File: 1636837894578.jpeg (19.22 KB, 275x204, 1612730520902.jpeg)
I took a break from studying for my important exam next week and I'm struggling to back to it now. I'll probably end up not going back to it and find something to watch. I'm tired. I hate exam anxiety.
No. 967616
>>967607I totally sympathise anon. I don't have pcos (at least I don't think so. don't have any other pcos symptoms other that the hair so it's likely idopathic hirsutism) it's been a huge problem for me recently, since I'm sure my overall body hair has increased. I have hair down the back of my neck to my back as well as vellus but noticable hair on my chest and stomach, all as well as the facial hair.
I had some bloodwork done recently but my testosterone levels are only slightly elevated when tested before! I think my body is especially sensitive to androgens. I want very badly to go on spirolactone but not sure if I can get it in my country (UK) for this issue. do you take anything to manage your pcos symptoms, specifically your hair?
No. 967621
>>967314>i'm earning the affection one insult at a time. it's grueling, but it's mine…Pathetic, you don't need to work for or earn love. Read this out loud every morning and night:
1. I have the right to be treated with respect.
2. I have the right to say no.
3. I have the right to make mistakes.
4. I have the right to reject unsolicited advice or feedback.
5. I have the right to negotiate for change.
6. I have the right to change my mind or my plans.
7. I have a right to change my circumstances or course of action.
8. I have the right to have my own feelings, beliefs, opinions, preferences, etc.
9. I have the right to protest sarcasm, destructive criticism, or unfair treatment.
10. I have a right to feel angry and to express it non-abusively.
11. I have a right to refuse to take responsibility for anyone else’s problems.
12. I have a right to refuse to take responsibility for anyone’s bad behavior.
13. I have a right to feel ambivalent and to occasionally be inconsistent.
14. I have a right to play, waste time and not always be productive.
15. I have a right to occasionally be childlike and immature.
16. I have a right to complain about life’s unfairness and injustices.
17. I have a right to occasionally be irrational in safe ways.
18. I have a right to seek healthy and mutually supportive relationships.
19. I have a right to ask friends for a modicum of help and emotional support.
20. I have a right to complain and verbally ventilate in moderation.
21. I have a right to grow, evolve and prosper.
No. 967648
File: 1636846659783.jpg (550.01 KB, 1080x2400, Screenshot_20211113-113017_Gal…)
idk if this is allowed but idc, I'm desperate. my cat needs emergency surgery for a blocked urinary tract. it's going to cost $2k and I'm broke as of today after paying for the initial vet visit. I live solely off of govt assistance (I'm in a wheelchair) so my income is already limited as hell as is. please help me, lolcow. her blood toxicity levels are high and she is miserable. the goal is to get her into the 24hr ER vet for surgery tonight (6:30pm here currently in burgerland). I put my info on the picture I attached of Gracie, doxx chances or not.
No. 967664
>>967615same here anon, it's been over a decade since HS but my friends (despite not being emotionally close to me) still do their best to check on me and keep in touch. They're aware of my
self-harming and avoidance habit, but still put up with my shits after all these years. I really wish someday I could just stop being a little bitch and give back to them.
No. 967701
Went on a date tonight. Been talking to the guy for about a month, seemed nice. Met and he got me chocolates and flowers. He's quite shy. Nice, smokes too much and I am not attracted to him much though. Hugged him bye and I probably won't get in touch again.
Even after sex, even when dating someone, I just feel detached. From people, partners, friends, myself. I feel like I can't fill a hole and it makes me so sad.
I look at people my age of 27 going out to bars, laughing, dressing up. I don't do any of that. I lie and say I do. I don't like doing any of that. And when I have done, I just sit there and wish I was at home. I don't like joining in with people, never have done. I just blame myself for my own sadness and loneliness.
No. 967708
>>967706Makes sense
>>967704Stfu actual depressed people would struggle to get into a relationship unless she got him before
No. 967717
>>967712I forgive you
>>967713You stated the obvious dumb bitch
No. 967728
File: 1636853864415.jpg (135.91 KB, 400x519, 1597791225103.jpg)
>Goes to a party
>Guy that came out as a transwoman to his parents just couple of days ago is there
>He is still excited over how well they took it
>I join in with the others with congratulating him, because fuck it I don't wanna bring this party down
>He recognizes me
>I guess he recognizes me from the party last year, that's cute since I usually don't stand out that much
>He tells me he was thinking of contacting me too about coming out because I give the impression as someone to rely on
>Uhm ok, that is… sweet I guess?
>We talk a bit on and off during the night
>"So anon, what do you go by now?"
>Uhm, I've always gone by [my name]. Why?
>"Oh really? Guess I'm a bit out of the loop, sorry!"
>It starts to dawn on me
>He is either confusing me with someone else
>Or he thinks I'm a transwoman too
Another reason to why I hate how tall I am and that I have swollen thyroids because of hypothyroidism.
No. 967745
>>967621thank you for taking the time to reply to me. i saved this list and i hope one day i'll know and believe all these statements without reading them off.
>>967642well personally i tend to attach myself to someone with whom i can reenact past traumas. any maladjusted scrote would do since abusers typically pick up on which types of torment yield the best results. as long as they lack empathy and don't care enough to change, it's perfect. that said i am a lesbian, but i assume the selection process is similar in heterosexual relationships
No. 967769
>>967758Why are your only options struggling to reach a goal you don't even want or killing yourself? There is nothing wrong with choosing a less impressive job, most people aren't lawyers or whatever, and if you actually enjoy it then that's all the better for you.
You are under no obligation to work harder than necessary, you don't have to please anyone other than yourself. If you can afford to live comfortably cleaning apartments, do it. Careers are overrated and I will never regret choosing free time and peace of mind at my mediocre jobs over one.
No. 967793
>>967769Because what I really want is to live comfortably and work on my art unbothered and I know that it's unrealistic. So my only choice is to at least try to do things "the proper" way and get a stable, well-paying job. I'm only in my very early twenties and all my teachers and and other authoritative figures have been telling me that it's important to get a degree early and work as much as possible and only then you deserve to relax in your thirties, when it's all figured out.
But thank you very much for saying that, it made me cry all over again because that's exactly what I needed someone to say to me. I think I will try to keep going with my major for now until it actually starts to become too much, who knows, I might even finish. I just feel like the way I struggle with this stuff is really dumb and I don't deserve to feel bad about it or drop out just because I have trouble with the subjects. Because I've always had trouble with any subject, but in the end I could somehow force myself to do it, even if I really didn't want to. It's like I should be able to do it and I'm supposed to do it, I just somehow can't, I don't know how to explain
No. 967816
File: 1636866748730.jpg (56.33 KB, 450x656, 1483521390661.jpg)
I haven't been here for 12 days and tonight I was feeling like a heroin addict so I gave into my urges and I checked lc again. I know it brings me no joy but I'm at a point where nothing else does either.
I was doing so good
No. 967834
>>967444Being in a creative degree isn't always the best
nonnie.
It can lead you to depression pretty quickly, and I have freinds that stopped doing anything creative after school.
But I agree with the othee anon, you should try to just let yourself enjoy stuff and see how it goes.
No. 967864
>>967862Rip any interesting part of the internet, it's been colonized by corps and gov. I've been reading more and more books because all the interesting places get banned for
triggering tards, or were perfectly respectable if a bit weird but still end up getting banned mysteriously. Any effort to make an interesting place on the big social medias, or set up an independent website for ppl to gather is banned.
No. 967907
The anons with 2016 /pol/tard tier takes are driving me up the wall with how sure they are of shit which has been debunked ages ago. It's like playing chess with a pigeon, so I won't even bother.
>>967728Sounds like that /tttt/ psyop to pretend that random women are mtfs. He was probably just messing with you.
No. 967995
>>967648>no bitcoinSorry
nonnie.
No. 968019
File: 1636899918987.jpg (3.98 MB, 4096x2539, a_summer_landscape_2014.18.52.…)
I feel so alone I want to die. I work abroad and live with my aunt, she's like my closest alive relative, and she was the one who brought me here since the economy in our country is pretty bad rn. I struggled with depression and anxiety for many years, drugs and thereapy never helped me long term. My aunt always denied there's something wrong with me, she even denied I had depression and told me not to believe anything psychiatrists told me because they just wanted to make money off of me etc. I never had any friends or lovers, I'm unable to form any relationships with my coworkers despite trying, I just don't know how to handle a conversation with normal people and every day at my job costs me tremendous amounts of stress. My aunt is always cold towards me, never asks how I feel, how I'm doing, how was my day at work etc. Yesterday she was the one to pick me up from work and I had some sort of a mental breakdown and I was crying in a car for like 30 minutes straight, and it turned into that silent kind of crying when you just sit there all curled up with your mouth agape. I was drooling all over myself and shit. She didn't say anything to me, except something like "you don't have serious reasons for this behavior". When we got home she told me to get out of the car but I couldn't move. So she threw car keys on my lap and told me to close it when I'm "done" and she left me alone. I was sitting like this for three hours until midnight. In that time she texted me she wants me leave the car keys on the table because she's going to sleep. Today she didn't say anything to me, didn't asked me any questions. I feel like she wouldn't give a damn if I died. No one would care. Literally no one would give a damn if I'm dead or alive tomorrow. I know there are many people similar to me, people who have nobody and no one cares about them, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I don't know what to do with myself, everything is pointless. My whole life looked like this, I was always alone. I can't imagine living like this for the next 20, 30, 40 years. It's not possible to endure
No. 968056
I was groomed when I was 12-13 online, I'm 18 and it affects me to this day but I feel like I can't feel bad about it because it wasn't irl. Idk what to do, I feel embarrassed even talking about it.
>>968050You can tell him you saw it and it hurt you. Nothing weird about that, he seems rude as shit
No. 968066
I feel really flustered and overwhelmed when he kisses my forehead unexpectedly, holds my hand and swings it softly, smiles contently when I kiss his cheek or pridefully when I look up at him, or when he smiles just because I'm happy, maybe about clothes or my favourite parts of history… It provides such a safe and warm feeling. So I hate how I like him despite his flaws. I'm too sensitive, I cry nearly every time I'm with him, black cats appear whenever we meet again after some time. I know in my gut we aren't meant to be. Be doesn't understand me, we aren't right for one another. So, I hate how I still swoon over him and fall for him whenever we're together if I'm around him for long enough. Maybe it's my loneliness, maybe it's my sensitivity, maybe it's my big heart and maybe it is all of that. I don't quite know, I just know I'm confused. I know the best thing to do is to leave him behind because my true love is out there somewhere, waiting for me to respect and develop myself first. But for now, I'm stubborn, and I'll kiss this idiot on the cheek and let him break my heart every week. Just for now, I guess
No. 968170
>>968132Yeah I get really nihilistic and down on my period too. I can’t believe that about half the world experiences this and just gets on with life- but maybe, if you’re already not in the right place mentally, the menstrual depression is worse.
I felt a lot better by surrounding myself with people and forcing myself to talk to strangers. I’m naturally shy but it makes me feel good to be amongst others and feel a social bond. Just starting a conversation with the lady who sells bread or going to a crowded place to absorb everyone’s energy and enjoy the life around you. I think that might help you a little, because it helps me a lot. As long as you’re doing your best you’re still winning, and on some days the best you can do isn’t very much.
No. 968224
>>968164All the oldfags moved on and the kids remaining there don't even know how to search the archives
I used to occasionally read cgl for brand release info but that shitty captcha was the final nail in the coffin for me
No. 968294
File: 1636927201085.png (197.63 KB, 485x218, mrbeard.PNG)
I hate this lazy reaction-style channels with the most boring generic guys (kurtis conner, drew gooden, nickisnotgreen, danny gonzalez). I've tried sitting through their videos and it's just painful. They don't make any points it's just unfunny jokes, jumpcuts every second, staring into the camera with a confused face, "ironic" editing with "silly" sound effects. Also I'm convinced this fat retard on the left is paying this circle of guys to do videos with him or else he would get no views.
No. 968378
>>968294finally someone else who gets recommended this shit and isnt 12!
imoo kurtis conner isnt funny. drew gooden isnt funny but sometimes he makes more "analysis" type videos and they tend to be better when hes not making jokes. nickisnotgreen is not funny and his style is even LAZIER than kurtis or drew cause most of his shit hes twitch streaming so legit no content or jokes prepared. just soyboy thoughts while watching bad thing jfc. and the ugly ass guy on the left i agree with you, youtube recommended me two videos of him and i didnt subscribe either time cause hes INSULTINGLY ugly and not funny.
i only disagree with danny. he's at least cute and can be amusing. in my opinion his videos before this were better before all soyboy youtubers did the same style videos. i dont think he cared about the idea of being cancelled like he does now where hes as non threatening as possible so he doesnt get replaces by the new younger soyboy gang like nick. dannys old videos were funnier and imo more genuine. now his videos are the same as all the others. it makes me sad i dont enjoy his content like i used to.
good thing youtbe fads like this last 3 year tops so i do think theyre gonna drop this shit the minute theres a new thing.
No. 968401
File: 1636937531115.jpeg (52.01 KB, 1078x576, 1DCBD99E-25D1-49D0-A02E-492DEB…)
>>968341make sure you burn or throw away anything that’s embarrassing beforehand as well. my sister died very recently and my parents had to throw away all her furry shit and bad dragon dildos with the cum lube she had kept hidden.
I didn’t even know she had those things and I had to throw away all her weed stuff bc I thought that was the worst of what she hid along with some cringe anime shit.
my mom and I sat and went through her pictures and had to scroll through tons of furry porn while trying to look for pictures of her cats.
I fucking hate furries now.
No. 968409
File: 1636938085337.png (47.74 KB, 275x275, 1634681957107.png)
I've been in love with one of my friends (not a close one though) for years now. I even ended an otherwise pretty good relationship with a guy because I realized the only real romantic feelings I've ever had for a person is this friend. The problem is she has a boyfriend and I think she's straight. But still I can't stop thinking about her and she even regularly appears in my dreams. But despite all this I'm still too shy to even speak to her.
No. 968432
File: 1636940390246.jpeg (256.01 KB, 676x614, 36F203A1-1E95-4FA0-9B54-165F5F…)
sleep is so overrated like I would definitely want to be in a human project where you’re put to sleep forever in your own simulated world that kind of functions like a dream because damn do I hate waking life and i hate being here constantly venting in this thread. i can’t decide if i want to stop feeling mental pain or just sleep forever, i oscillate between hating this world and wishing everybody would die and appreciating nature’s beauty
No. 968448
>>968056>>968075You're not a loser, you were groomed and that sucks even if other people had worst experiences that doesn't magically cancel out what happened to you and you're allowed to feel however you feel about it. There's a thread about grooming in the /ot/ catalog where you will see you aren't alone
I'm happy that you never met them irl anon
>>968408Who even makes fun of someone's deceased sister
No. 968472
File: 1636943872199.png (134.96 KB, 465x269, A1A9C86F-8DD7-4C72-947E-223546…)
Started seeing this cute girl and really liked her until she started fawning/being obsessed with me and we haven’t even known each other for a single month. When she’s normal I forget and think things could work, but then she says or does something that is way too fucking intense and I’m turned off immediately. She showed up to my house unannounced as a “surprise” at 9PM and I’m floored and don’t know what to do. I’ve told her to slow down and she hasn’t. I feel like I’m about to shatter her heart which is ridiculous because we literally don’t even know each other I’m so annoyed
No. 968478
>>968472anon are you me. I keep running into obsessed bpd-chan the entirety of my life because I'm "too nice". And whenever I found being overwhelmed by them and couldn't provide my attention to them anymore, they'd go stalker mode and even went after people around me.
My best advice? Cut her off now, it's better for her if you do.
No. 968521
>>968401>my parents had to throw away all her furry shit and bad dragon dildos with the cum lube she had kept hidden Call me crazy but she doesn't like someone to be all that much ashamed. Considering her affinity for cringe internet shit, she's probably the same type of person who would find it funny that her parents had to throw out her sex toys and scroll through porn. I'm sure if she could see that she'd have a good laugh.
It's part of who she was for better or worse, I know if my daughter died unexpectedly I wouldn't give a fuck about finding her dumb dildoes and porn.
No. 968633
File: 1636961427448.jpg (72.19 KB, 847x867, skcjs.jpg)
i was sexually assaulted early this year and everytime i've tried telling someone about it i've regretted it. i went to the hospital yesterday drunk, on benzos and begging to be put inpatient because i can't stop thinking about it and all i got was "why didn't you report it? you should go to a police station, not a hospital." i'm so tired and over it. it's infurating and i see why so many women keep this shit to themselves.
No. 968639
>>968633That’s such bullshit that they blew you off anon. I had them tell me the same thing and it made me never want to reach out for help again. Is there another hospital or crisis center you can go to?
I’m genuinely so sorry you were assaulted, I wish I knew what else to say. I know it’s cliche but speaking from experience, it does get easier. It never goes away but you find ways to move forward and put your life back together. I really hope you can get the help you need. Keeping you in my thoughts
No. 968674
File: 1636967684597.gif (704.66 KB, 345x197, tumblr_e6831bedd76262d23181614…)
Why does life hate me? I don't understand how can I be THIS unlucky?? What the fuck
I was supposed to attend school again at the end of this month but they couldn't find enough participants so it was called off. This was supposed to be life changing since I have no education and work + school isn't really an option dur to my shit mental health. And now nothing. Literally everything I try fails. I just want to make a livable wage why the fuck is this so hard?? I've exhausted the majority of my options and the only thing left is to become self taught, which will be difficult as shit because I don't have a space to study in peace. I'm just fucking speechless and tired. Fuck life and all of this shit, I'm killing myself in a few years, it's not worth the struggle.
No. 968788
>>968780Even taking it in the less nefarious light, it's as if he's bragging about somehow understanding female issues well since so many young women come to his practice for help.
Even when academically trained, I don't feel there's ever a way for a man to truly understand the gendered ways women suffer from abuse and EDs differently than men do.
No. 968798
>>968788> as if he's bragging about somehow understanding female issues well since so many young women come to his practice for helpI don't think that's the case. He probably takes on whatever patients he gets and girls with ED and/or abuse history are an extremely common patient if you are a therapist/psychiatrist.
I used to work for a subcontractor for some company that did some IT systems for a children's hospital. I would look at patient's data (indirectly) sometimes and if you looked at the Psychiatric Ward it would almost always be 80-85% 12-16 year old girls with EDs, and 10-15% would be 7-10 year old boys with "attention deficit disorders" a.k.a. tantrum throwing little boys.
I don't have data for older patients but I sure do know a lot of women in early twenties that have therapy and a history of abuse or ED or depression…. I don't know of a single dude with a therapist. I know of a couple of older men (over 50) going to therapy.
No. 968804
>>968802It's common, but as much as their number at therapists would suggest. It's just that juvenile girls are very likely to get professional help (they get pushed by parents to do it).
Dudes are also all kinds of fucked up, as we all know, and they do nothing about it most of the time.
No. 968845
File: 1636990591581.jpeg (99.03 KB, 699x813, C9F69C8E-7FC1-44E5-B101-B2AF3F…)
Getting older is making me angrier and less able to get along with others. I feel bad, I thought I would be wiser and more zen. Maybe it’s the adhd / adhd medication
No. 968848
>>968847Heroin is apparently a hell of a drug
Selling your wee sisters things and fucking her bf. Terrible
No. 968937
Why can’t I ever just look at the sky for a few minutes uninterrupted. Why do I always have to see a fucking plane in the sky to remind me that I am in the 21st century, why can’t I just look up at the sky and not have it corrupted by a plane. I still love planes and am fascinated by them, but it’s like every time I see them in the sky I get so infuriated. Planes every single second god why can’t I just see the sky alone? I’m so genuinely irked. Fuck.
>>967730I feel the exact same way nonna it’s actually a little uncanny.
> It's as if I can only do one task per day and nothing else. If I have one plan later I can't fill my time well, it'll be wasted somehow, I don't even notice.I genuinely thought I was the only one that felt this way, and always felt like such a dumbass for it. Even when I was young my mom would tell me how I need to be like my peers, who can do school, homework, and extracurriculars all in one day. At least back then I had my hobbies and kept to myself but now it’s like a complete slog to get through the days and it’s been getting worse and worse. I probably waste so many hours just vegetating. I feel like I can’t continue like this because it’s not sustainable, but I don’t know if I can ever catch up. I’ll never have a true grip on things.
No. 968947
>>967730>>968937>>968944i feel this way too and i have adhd (unmedicated). i was most productive when i wrote my thesis and would always get up early at the same time, go for a walk, have breakfast, work on my thesis until noon, have lunch, and then have free time (with another evening walk before dinner). the morning walk was very important to make my brain calm down. what also helps is the pomodoro technique. just set a timer for 25 minutes and do your thing, and then take a 5 minute break before setting another timer for 25 minutes. i usually get used to the pain of having to work on something that i ignore the timer and just keep working until i'm done.
i'll celebrate when i'm finally done with grad school and can get a 9-5 job and just bum around and not worry about homework or studying once i'm off the clock.
No. 968994
>>968946Enjoy it and don't feel bad nonna. I'm of the camp that employers push the narrative that you must eat and breathe your work to get more productivity out of you for the same or just marginally more pay that isn't worth it. If you are comfortable with your salary, then even better!
Like, yes I
could do the work of two people, but I choose not to because I am not paid enough to do so and honestly value my well being. I think taking time for yourself to do things not work related is so important. We just work hard for our entire lives and then only get to enjoy it when our bodies are crumbling? Nah. I'm gonna enjoy some of it now too.
No. 969026
>>961901i hate it when we buy vegetables and then no one cooks with them, and it's just a perfect metaphor for wasted hope and drive
Not much of a vent, just bumping the thread because there's something sussy that's just been posted
No. 969031
File: 1637002704803.jpeg (57.48 KB, 750x488, BACEB7D2-675F-40BB-A7B5-0FE5AF…)
Visited my sister and her Aiden roommate came home and didn’t bother to greet me, despite us speaking on good terms beforehand.
She always got on my nerves for one reason or another but for some reason, this got me particularly riled up.
No. 969074
File: 1637004810272.jpg (73.67 KB, 461x362, 5t7dq6.jpg)
I hate it when I send a song I'm obsessed with to a friend and they just reply with ''not really my style.'' Like yeah I know!! I sent it because it's my style and I thought maybe you would be interested in hearing it just because it currently makes me very happy. I'm not expecting them to be like ''hell yeah this is going to my playlist, thanks for being so well-versed in my personal taste that you sent me this!''
Maybe they just don't think like that. But how come they still send me the songs they are listening on repeat, knowing full well it's not something I'd listen to on my own? Surely not because they expect me to be interested in what makes them happy atm, if they don't see me linking shit to them the same way?
This is so stupid and I can't really put it into words lmao, TL;DR I'm not gonna share my faves with anyone anymore
>>968692omg you sweet summer child
No. 969087
File: 1637006029092.png (304.83 KB, 1200x758, 1622483378747.png)
Just here to bitch about my husband, it's boring so scroll on if you must. So anyway, can we demand men stop pretending they're not being shitty jerks just because they're not yelling or being physically abusive?
Yesterday I spent my last day off shopping and then preparing the house for our first holiday season. I was half-concerned about making it nice for when his parents come to visit because his mother has dementia. I know festive decorations would put her more at ease. The shopping was a nightmare that took hours, but I got it done. The second I got home I cleaned, decorated, and cooked.
The only break I got was a pedicure at the spa midday that my husband lent his credit card for–which was nice of him but only because I asked and it's not like lending money is a huge effort. Also it's half a gift for him because he likes touching my feet when they're soft. So yeah, moving on.
I was lifting a lot of heavy boxes, bending, squatting, crouching, etc. when he came home from work I really wanted him to help me. It feels like I never have a true day off where I just flop, there's always something for me to do and it drives me crazy as even on the days when I come home from work I still wind up spending 1-2 hours immediately cooking and cleaning something. So when he comes home from work to sprawl on the couch and watch dumb football, it. pisses. me. off. How's he just gonna watch his wife do all this holiday shit by herself? I just wanted him to take an interest if not for the sake of participation but just so I could be fucking done with this shit early. When it became clear his football darlings were losing I started to ask him to do some things for me–which frustrates me already because I shouldn't have to nag and micromanage but I digress–just to put away the big boxes, hang up a simple decoration, vacuum, and to help me with the ornaments on the tree.
I'm telling you he barely did shit and I had to pester! "In a minute" is the famous line and of course it's never just a minute if anything ever happens period. In between all this I somehow cooked dinner (shrimp scampi with lobster ravioli), even went so far as to peel the shrimp down to the tails, and although he did say it was delicious he couldn't help but neg the fact that I "didn't peel the shrimp very well" because I left the tail shells on for flavor…you know, those things most non-idiots simply bite off and set aside. Oh, he did the dishes after dinner but that just means he washed out two pots and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. He was done in under seven minutes because I clean up after myself when I cook. Sorry, but no one gets a hero's parade for that.
Then he was again useless when it came to the tree because he just doesn't care. He constantly weaponizes his incompetence and acts like he's helpless like a little child. He was sloppy and thoughtless when putting on the string lights (I only need him because he's taller), so I wound up having to do those too with a stepstool. He accused me of being a control freak, but my god I just wanted it to look nice alright??
Whenever I call him out for his shoddy effort he accuses me of overreacting and my having a "vision" and that he cannot read my mind. Basically making his laziness my problem and my fault. If he would even ask me what he could do for me I'd feel better, but nah. So I decorated the tree entirely by myself, it really hurt my feelings.
Finally, the most petty of all: He notices the bar that holds our sliding screen door wasn't in place. This doesn't actually matter because the door locks but he is convinced that this means a thief will break into our home at any given moment. We do not live in a bad neighborhood and there's nothing to justify his paranoia. He also commands we constantly close the curtains for the same reason so our living room is often a cave. Nevermind if a thief really wanted he could just bust the glass and step inside, but you know, something had to be my fault that evening. He bitched at me about that and I told him he was being stupid and how that bar didn't make a difference. It wasn't me that had removed it anyway, but my stepdad when he came to visit and stepped outside to smoke. It doesn't fucking matter and I'm so sick of him forcing this paranoid delusion that we're going to be burgled on me.
Of course it was my last straw and we wound up having one of our first blowout fights that ended with me crying because he couldn't help out to have a nice first holiday in our new home. He argued with me while he sat on the couch and, you guessed it, I cleaned. Sitting on his ass was more important, I told him he's an asshole for ruining this memory of one of our 'firsts.' I don't recall him apologizing, just excuse making and gaslighting me about his earlier criticisms and pretending like I came angry out of nowhere.
We "made up" but I'll never forget how he made me feel. He once asked me if I thought he was narcissistic? I told him no, but the truth is all men are selfish as fuck. Literally coddled and never socially conditioned to have any consideration. I know I can't change men but it makes me sick, if I could afford to live on my own without becoming homeless again I'd do it.
No. 969102
>>969087 > I told him he's an asshole for ruining this memory of one of our 'firsts'This line. I've often questioned whther I'm crazy or not because my ex would start the shittiest fights on special occasions. I would end up almost getting flashbacks on the anniversary of those fights.. like it tainted certain special occasions for me. We're over now and I still think of those fights on those dates. It's mad.
Worst one was, one time I was feeling down on mothers day because mine is dead… well now mothers day is the day I re-live the worst fight I've ever had with a selfish scrote. I also remember as a kid.. my dad screaming and walking out one year while the xmas decorations were being put up. The fight started over some tangled tree lights. That was it. I couldn't understand him ruining the day over nothing.. I still don't get why they do this shit.
No. 969141
>>969087Display your pedicure and don’t do any labor for him. He fights to provoke you, like children do so they can have anything to blame. Never give him an emotional response, when you do the opposite of what he expects, you have personal power. Take up visible personal hobbies and reading, make female friends and host things in your space. Take up space joyfully and he will have to confront his bad attitude and incompetence. If you make fulfilling connections outside of him, even more, and really focus on yourself and your needs shamelessly, you’ll react naturally to when he does this because you won’t have space to accept any shame he’s putting on you. This is your life and it’s not something you can ever put up for an argument or debate, it’s a privilege to be with you and in your space and if he doesn’t respect that, you can pursue your joy without him. Take up meditation, it helps build more security in your body so him or anyone/thing else is less likely to hijack your system. Learn communication skills so you can be more assertive and effectively disengage so he doesn’t keep trying to manipulate you or sabotage your hopefulness and joy. If you’re already thinking about moving out, liberate yourself as an independent and joyous person for the sake of yourself and fade him out. If he tries to degrade you, laugh at what he’s doing and be playful and secure as of a child was trying to insult you, because that’s what he’s regressing to. You can point on the regression but remember you’re confronting a child. If he makes you afraid to bring these things up, he only wants you exist in your shared space if he can control you. All of this is to control you, so be uncontrollable and never, ever let him affect your happiness or take your light. Find any way you can to enjoy your memories, any tiny little detail, instead of the bratty child treating you like mom so they can control you. Laugh it off and keep it moving because you deserve to. It’s not on you to raise him.
No. 969169
>>969141This, not letting scrotes affect your mood is probably the best advice. The biggest "fuck you" to them is not getting mad or raging at their incompetence (however, be firm when you need to), but appearing completely in control and unaffected by their bullshit even if you are seething on the inside. Treat them like dogs, if they do the right thing, then you can give them your attention. However if they don't, make your expectations known and withdraw your attention until they get their act together. This also means stop doing shit for him. Stop picking up after him, separate your laundry so you do only yours, cook only enough for yourself, etc. If he bitches tell him that you're tired doing the work for 2 people and it's now his responsibility to do his share. Stop pandering to him too.
I only know this shit because my brother and father were both like this, I'd shoot myself if I ended up married to someone like that, kek.
No. 969190
>>969178Nonnie my beloved… I feel exactly the same way. I'm a butch lesbian who frequently toys with the idea of trooning out just so I can openly love my partner and dress how I want without feeling shame or fear of being ridiculed. I work with a "bi" FTM who only talks about moids and it drives me up the wall. She doesn't even dress masc! It's a pointless fucking charade just so she can pretend that she's totes gay and part of the LGBTQIAAPNIDKANYMORE+++. I get "misgendered" a lot and because she doesn't pass (or make any fucking effort to) she frequently throws a tantrum over it and bitches at me as if it's my fucking fault that she's very obviously a female. Being a butch lesbian is an uphill battle a lot of the time; especially now conversion therapy is trendy (so long as it falls under the umbrella of transgenderism). But at least we get to say that we're staying true to who we are, our community may be small but it's
real. It's built on lived experiences, not make believe and hugboxing. Stay strong,
nonnie. You got this.
No. 969197
File: 1637012732608.jpg (53.42 KB, 640x481, tumblr_355c066393a0288103d2f33…)
I am incapable of feeling any emotions besides anger and resentment to the point of getting no sleep at night.
signing up for gym membership and exercising as an outlet seems like a great idea in theory but men in my area are fucking creeps.
No. 969198
>>969190Thanks
nonny, I've been mistaken as a male multiple times to the point I've actually been "clocked" (by men obviously) as a MTF despite being a short bitch kek, these obviously feminine bi/"gay" FTMs crying about being misgendered should just shut the fuck up. I can't bring myself to hate them because I understand the need to escape the female societal role probably better than they do but it does fill me with bitter hatred for how unfair the game is. It's like a dagger through the heart whenever my bi girlfriend simps for male celebrities and I can never give her that even though I know she loves me for what I am. Anyway thanks for the reply, I needed to hear it from someone who's in a similar situation.
No. 969203
File: 1637013663245.jpg (104.91 KB, 564x564, 6e00cbaab60f21928d798bae446bb0…)
I am getting very anxious right now for some super important task that I need to do, to the point of getting dizzy and trying to avoid the inevitable here in lolcow. I even had some bathroom problems, as well. I wasn't like this a few years a go, I think the quarantine made everything worse and now I am suffering here for the stupidest reason. I mean, it's very important, but the worst that will happen in case I fail is just everything staying the exact same. So why do I have this big ball in my throat and this lightheadedness???
No. 969308
File: 1637028244571.jpg (30.02 KB, 592x458, 0de2648f0d4caac555ce0c097a838c…)
I'm sick of hearing about NFTs. We know that everyone except for a group of Criptodudes is against them, there's no need to drill that to my head everytime I go to a site.
No. 969313
>>969299This is a common problem but luckily there's a solution, next time you want to vent say something like "is it okay if I just vent for a bit without any advice? Tomorrow I will try harder but today I just want to talk about my feelings
Some people will still try to give you advice because that's how they try to help but you will feel less frustrated about it knowing that you at least communicated what you wanted
Conversely, if you always complain about the same thing without change your friend might appreciate the opportunity to say they don't want to hear you vent
No. 969318
File: 1637029330209.jpeg (304.04 KB, 1086x1100, CB294503-02BC-409B-9E9E-E35800…)
I fucking hate men and in particular I hate how fucking thinly they veil the fact that they don’t see young women (particularly minors) as actual human beings. God I could just chop a dick off rn I stg
No. 969405
File: 1637040803274.png (1.63 MB, 1440x1936, imagen_2021-11-15_233228.png)
This makes me so fucking sad
My birthday is in a couple days and I have no money for a cake to celebrate. Having a cake to celebrate has always been important to me and my mom, and my mom doesn't have money for one either.
But then I see these people celebrating their fake mental illness LARPs with cakes and I just feel… angry.
No. 969508
File: 1637050886483.png (79.28 KB, 540x469, imagen_2021-11-16_022136.png)
Microplastics make me so sad. I hate this shit, how can we reverse the damage?
No. 969513
>>969087holy shit nonna. that sucks. I hope he'll start seeing the error of his ways, but I wish the pressure of that, too, wasn't on your shoulders. Men are fucking useless. Also
>He once asked me if I thought he was narcissistic?what a weird thing to ask. I bet if you had answered yes, he'd take offense to it but also start using it as a trump card, bringing it up when it suits him. Either as a ''oh, you said I'm a narc, woe is me'' type of way or like ''I can't help it, I have this narc personality trait uwu.''
>>969121Yeah lol. I've always used music as a crutch to explain my feelings to myself and others so I'm probably taking it too seriously
No. 969515
File: 1637051909290.gif (1.3 MB, 270x270, i'm upsetti.gif)
I dropped my salmon… I live in a habor town, why is fish so expensive…
No. 969532
File: 1637053461047.png (87.2 KB, 1080x273, imagen_2021-11-16_030445.png)
>>969531What weird shit anon?
No. 969601
File: 1637058874008.png (83.65 KB, 666x209, imagen_2021-11-16_043420.png)
Don't you love it when these self hating not like other girls shits remind the rest of us that we're not human like they supposedly are? non-binary identified women stop implying women aren't human challenge.
No. 969606
File: 1637059800733.png (1.02 MB, 828x1315, imagen_2021-11-16_044920.png)
“I knew i was genderfluid because i liked different outfits and haircuts because women couldn’t possibly feel this way!"
you can’t make this up.
No. 969667
>>969662kek
nonnie I still want some pizza
No. 969718
File: 1637075479083.png (80.54 KB, 500x394, imagen_2021-11-16_091113.png)
I actually don’t care about men who feel self conscious about their penis size. There are literally tens of thousands of women going under anesthesia and getting their labia sliced off every year to fit the standards of porn. Cope somewhere else
No. 969736
>>969718I used to read that subreddit for sad and bitter small-dicked men.. it was weird. I'm a woman who doesn't like PIV.. any time someone on there brought up 'hey just do other sex things instead of PIV' like do oral, play with toys.. they'd lose their fucking minds. They hated the thought that any woman on earth isn't into PIV but they also whinged about how women all crave at least 10 inches in them every night. And they thought all women want jackhammer sex?? There was no pleasing them and no convincing them that women aren't porn stars. Their views were nutty and they shit on women more than any man with a big dick and bigger ego ever would do. Nothing is good enough for the 1 inch man.
There was a constant stream of well meaning women butting in and starting threads saying that you can please a woman more with oral and how 69ing with a man whose dick wont choke you is actually a good thing to them… infuriates them every time lol. They don't want to make their partner come.. they want to mimic the jackhammering they see in porn. That's what they won't just come out and say. They pretend it's about pleasing a partner.. it's so not. They're so self absorbed and fucked in the head.
No. 969793
File: 1637080547058.gif (1.89 MB, 462x427, 1623142667474.gif)
>play a community-ran indie game with my bestie
>he is one of the best players there is
>they updated the game since we last played it
>one of the newest changes is awful and unfun
>since he's a NEET, bestie makes it his mission to fix it
>he adds me to a separate secret Discord group than the main Discord for the game
>made by one of the only other IRL women playing it besides me, on staff
>suspect she's dating one of the game's staff members, one that's been shitty to me before just for being new
>she makes a poll post to vote by emoji about the change
>looked alright as of last night
>another friend asks how it looks this morning
>MYSTERIOUSLY, the neutral vote option was removed, and my vote, along with my bestie's vote, on mandatory change were also gone
>post proof and speak up about it
>her response regarding my vote being removed, "Was it?"
……Is this bitch really trying to gaslight me rn?? I counted the names, too. I'm pretty sure she fucked with the votes.
I smell staff politics. Especially because the guy that coded it is bitching about people not liking it, and she's trying to take in my pal as a staff member.
I don't trust this bitch. Some of the tranny players in this make me seethe and cringe, but I especially do not like or trust this mod. Especially if she's dating the one that gave me a stinky remark even though I was new and repeatedly said I was new at the game.
No. 969801
>>969606Genderfluidity is the stupidest fucking concept of all time, just say you're desperate for attention and go. I don't care about gender politics but genderfluidity is really just dumb.
>uwu I'm comfy in baggy hoodies that hide my figure so that must mean I reject feminity!>owo whats this? I also like dresses and look good in them! Look at my figure!>guess i am gender fluid!Peak retardation.
No. 969810
File: 1637081976825.jpg (35.07 KB, 1080x234, ok pickme.jpg)
>>969726I can't stand pickmes, and I used to be one really badly. Men already throw women under the bus to ignore their own problems, it's cringe when women throw other women under the bus too, for the sake of the uglier sex.
"Plain dudes" are usually shit.
No. 969832
File: 1637083895468.jpg (23.42 KB, 450x319, businessman-holding-gun-to-his…)
The thought of suicide kind of excites me. Like the thought of not having to deal with anything anymore, not having to feel pain anymore, not having to be hurt anymore, just makes me ecstatic. I kinda haven't had suicidal ideations during the entire pandemic, but the last couple of months when my country has opened up again they've come back.
I've done a lot of progress on my therapy, but my fantasies about suicide and thoughts about self-harming again are there.
It's not like I am anyone special, people already don't notice my presence. No matter what I do, no matter how good of a person I try to be, no matter how I try to take part, I end up being a nobody that is forgotten the moment they turn around. No one even gave a shit when I was being obvious about my self-harm and was half-assing it when I tried to hide it in desperate attempts to ask for help when I was in an incredibly dark place. So there wouldn't really make much of a difference if I killed myself.
But again, I've come so far with my therapy in other parts of my mental illness so it would be a waste to do it.
No. 969835
>>969726I don't see this shit much irl but I tend to keep up with missing persons cases and youtube is always recommending me updates.. the comment sections are filled with defensive men (and lately nearly as many women) giving out any time someone points out how yes strange men are something to be wary of.
Like fuck me, given the context of what it's posted underneath… the disrespect it is to
victims to sing mens praises or get butthurt about yourself and your feelings of offense under a vid about someones several day long rape ordeal and their murder by a horny scrote who thought his orgasm is worth more than your life.
No. 969873
File: 1637088591045.jpeg (176.29 KB, 622x562, 1632005377706.jpeg)
i ordered chinese food an hour ago and it's still not here. i'm so hungry!! give me my food!!!
No. 969889
File: 1637090540257.jpg (13.38 KB, 275x201, 1606267295772.jpg)
God I hate reading lc old threads so much, it was a cc-tier imageboard. User base was pure trash back then - robots/poltards in disguise and 4chan femanon rejects. Absolute haram. Pretty surprised that those people managed to give birth to the pp threads, perhaps some outsiders came to this wasteland and caused the era of enlightenment or something. Everyone who thinks that lc was better in ye goode olde days should just take a look at this shit and try to forget it has ever happened. I don't think that right now it's better though, it seems to be slowly transforming into edgy Twitter, but there certainly are more adequate posters nowadays.
No. 969896
I'm half joking here: no one gets misgendered more than women on (non LC) image boards, forums, and non-voice chat games. The default gender of the internet is male, you will always be male until proven female, and then promptly told to post tits or gtfo. The amount of times I've been called he, him, bro, dude, man, faggot, virgin, soyboy, etc is uncountable. The desire to correct them is 0, because why would you ever want to be discovered as a woman on the internet.
No. 969912
File: 1637092577260.jpg (24.83 KB, 659x594, kdorefx4ihg71.jpg)
i just binge watched chernobyl and then a bunch of hiroshima documentaries and now i'm quickly developing a phobic fear of nuclear war and accidents. apparently there are nuclear weapons equal to 400k hiroshimas now. and thats just weapons not even nuclear plants etc. i just don't understand how to go on with this knowledge without being absolutely terrified from now on.
No. 969913
Damn. I managed to source weed, make butter, then make edibles to finally experience being high bcause I never want to smoke. I don't like it. It makes my head feel heavy and temporarily (for now) worsens my existing tinnitus. And what do I get from it? Feeing lazy and tired, losing my perception of time, pretty good wanks and having a bad memory in the moment. In addition to this, I also got BV for the first time in a while and upon googling, there's a correlation between increased BV incidence and weed use.
I don't think they were so called bad trips, I think I just didn't enjoy the effects that came about. After 3 decades of being alive and having weed hyped up as this antidote to anxiety, stress, sleeping issues, being the key to unlock weird thoughts and fun shit like the munchies etc etc…I don't know. Feels overhyped.