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Previous thread: >>>/ot/818392
the world is burning
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I hate lawyers.
Very hard apparently. He wanted to go to court to fight our building about paying it, even after I said I would pay for everything
if I got to pick the exterminator. We were issued a letter from the building's lawyer. He wants to do nothing but play victim
, but he's already shot himself in the foot multiple times throughout this whole ordeal and even when I point out valid
things that they will say if we went to court (e.g. we did not tell them we've had bedbugs for far longer because my dad did not believe it was a big deal so we hid that we had bedbugs, they denied us an extension to prep our apartment even though we actually had months to do it before the first treatment even happened, our apartment is still full of unnecessary things that my dad things is essential, etc etc) he just screams at me that I'm being stubborn. Like, do you think their lawyer isn't going to point any of this out? lol Everything is stacked against us.
Then when he finally agreed to let me pick and pay for our own exterminator, he suddenly says "I'm just going to email them as a courtesy. I'm not seeking their permission." Like, we are SO fucking close to wrapping this up. Just shut the fuck up and get the board's permission and then we will be D O N E with this. Literally every step of the way he has to kick and scream and throw a tantrum and make things 100 times harder. The building will
fine us if we get an unapproved exterminator, god knows how much the fine is because they'll probably pull a number out their ass. I specifically told him that we are going to ask for a written and signed letter of their approval to cover our ass because he's so worried they're going to back out on their word.
The best thing that can come out of this is we get treatment and the board stops trying to stick us with a thousands of dollar bill (they are trying to say that we are the source of bedbugs and get us to pay for treatment for the whole building and the office room even though there are other apartments in my building that have them too).
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It pisses me off what some people get away with irl.
There's a contracted girl at my office who routinely gets away with murder. The second month she started she allegedly broke her foot. She was out of work for a few days and came back wearing a boot for like half a week until she was seen wearing heels like picrel. One of the perks she got? A personalized printer at her desk so she wouldn't have to walk back and forth between print jobs like the rest of us do. Fortunately that personal printer might be getting banished because someone complained about the noise.
A few weeks back she allegedly "slipped a disc" and was out of work and doing remote (aka not really working) for two weeks. Now she's doing half days from 11am-3pm in the office and the rest remote, conveniently so she doesn't have to report to work early and can leave early.
SHE WORE FUCKING PICREL TODAY! Hello? When does anyone call bullshit on this? Do people with back and foot injuries wear fucking stiletto heels only a couple weeks after these things happen???
Cause it seems to me these are just convenient excuses to work half assed days and get shit catered to her. What the fuck.
I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I graduated from highschool with bad grades and started uni but after trying it for a year I think I might not be cut out for this. My main motivation was to get a bachelor's degree and go into accounting or something similar but the way I'm struggling right now makes it obvious that I was being very naive. Should I give it up? I guess it would be better if I did as soon as possible if I am going to quit, but I'm afraid that my bad grades and no job experience will make it impossible to find anything. I'm scared of applying for vocational education/training, a lot of stuff I read on the internet suggests that they're only interested in motivated people with good grades and that the way I went into this major without thought is like a red flag that tells them I'm stupid and irresponsible and unreliable. I'm scared of applying to jobs because my cv is empty and I'm too retarded to write a cover letter, something is blocking me whenever I try. It reminds me that I exist as a person, I can't stand it.
Becoming a librarian would be a little interesting to me, the downsides are that it doesn't pay well and you have to talk to people a lot. I also haven't read a book in years, I just did one internship at a library for a few weeks some years back and really enjoyed the work because it was so easy and low-pressure. But they also want people with good grades in at least languages, which I had especially bad grades in because the teacher weighed mostly participation and I was a depressed emo kid that never talked.
I feel so useless, my parents have paid for all this and for what? I really want to give up on everything. What have I been doing all my life? I'm nearly twenty two, I have no interests, friends or experience. My only motivation is art and I could have gotten into an art school but decided against because of multiple reasons. I just want to have an okay and boring office job that leaves me with enough free time to do whatever and pays well enough for a small flat and a cat but it feels like that's an unreachable dream. I should have killed myself at 14 after all, since then nothing has felt real anyway
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yesterday I bought a new delta 8 cart and battery bc im tired of using disposables all the time but the cart got stuck in the battery and broke so I replaced the battery AND the cart which sucked. I accidentally left the new vape in the hoodie I brought to work today and put another disposable nicotine vape in the pocket with it. I go to the bathroom and as I flush and turn around to exit, both vapes fly out of my pocket and flush down the drain faster than I can fucking react. I stood in shock at the toilet bowl and stared at myself shaking at the sink when I went to wash my hands. It felt so surreal.
Now I have to go back to the smoke shop for the third time in like four days to replace the stuff that has quite literally gone down the drain.
sometimes it’s hard to escape a toxic
relationship or friendship, I had a close friend who was constantly disgusting me with her behavior, but she fed me enough apologies and attempts at being decent that once I finally cut her off and allowed myself to feel all the anger I’d been suppressing, I had a massive list of bad shit she’d done to me. Definitely a good lesson for the future though.
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KEKKK anon I'm sorry but the cannagods are telling you to stop buying smokeshop boof and step up your game. start buying raw disty, fill your own carts. saves you hella money in the Long run
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I hate that imageboards have destroyed my brain because this is the first thing that reminded me of
Because it usually is, especially if someone pressured them.
I'm so glad I grew up without all this crap kids have to see today. Was always a tomboy and I even used male pronouns as a kid because I didn't know I was a girl kek. All the women on tv and irl had breasts and I didn't so 5 year old me thought that made perfect sense.
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Having a pretty privileged life and being told I'm "special" as a child and growing up led me to lack the necessary character to actually succeed. Gifted kid syndrome is an example of this but imo it is a much bigger societal problem. I always assumed that boomers making fun of participation prizes et cetera were bitter old people but they were kind of right. If you as a child are told you're special and amazing without needing to work for it, or do anything, then you're more likely to not work hard enough or even learn how to. Hey, you're already wonderful whether you do or not, hey, you can coast by like that so it must attest to your wonderfulness!
Obviously the blame is on me and others like me for this, but how you're raised really does set you up. There should be more emphasis to kids on having goals, working hard to achieve them, and how that's what makes a successful and admirable person. Otherwise you can slack off and lack direction in your youth, it's ok because you're still special anyway, and while it feels so bad because deep down you know it's hard to climb out of. Then when you're older you realize that you haven't actually achieved anything and feel like a failure. Thing is you were never gifted, never special, you need to learn to aim for something and achieve it to be that. So yeah, that's what I wish I learned sooner. Trying to be a better person and teach it to myself now that I realized. I'm not an amazing, successful person as I am but I want to be and can try and get there by working and building character.
Anyway I know this isn't a universal problem because there are kids who did work hard, people who built the necessary character. I think they should be considered the real special ones if anyone is at all.
this nonna >>825542
is right, it's highly misogynistic and homo(lesbo-)phobic. society has never been kind to lesbians and especially not to young ones. social contagion is a helluva thing currently and it's fucking depressing
me too, nonny
. wish i had more words of encouragement other than, i too am suffering a lot. it takes up so much energy to pretend to be happy.
I have been tolerating completely unacceptable and disloyal behaviour from my boyfriend, who I adore, for 3 years. Why am I such a spineless invertebrate. I have absolutely no self-respect. I think I might be the most pathetic person in the world. When I think of the inappropriate things he says to his ex, I want to cry and die.
What's wrong with me? I keep typing out messages, hoping I will find the courage to confront him, but I don't have the balls to hit send. I just want him to stop hitting on her. He's been doing this for years, they live in different continents, so why does he bother?
I am such a pathetic piece of shit. Yes, I have begged him to stop and he won't. He has made it clear how little he thinks of me. There is lots of good in the relationship which makes it impossible to just let go.>>825387
im the girl in the grocery store
Been going on and off meds and gone through a number of therapists since I was a teen too anon, jaded or not how you respond to therapy is 50% YOUR choice.
Of course there are going to be shitty therapists, just like there are shitty doctors, shitty lawyers, shitty busdrivers, shitty hair dressers etc. Some people are just shit at their job. Some therapists just don't vibe with you. Some base their practices on philosophies that might not line up with what you need. However, it is your job to help them figure out how to help you. If whatever your therapist is doing isn't working for you, FUCKING TELL THEM.
omgomgomg someone in my exact situation? and people tell you just to 'leave' its so stupid. im glad i finally found you nonny
, no one else understands. no one else gets it….
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i'm often depressed that i can't draw. i'm twenty-two this year, i've always wanted to learn how, but i stopped upon entering uni and have yet to pick it up back up. anyway the cycle is as follows:
>get a burst of inspo, go to practice
>stop for another month
i want to break out of this retarded cycle because not being able to draw is killing me. i'm so jealous of artists it's ridiculous and toxic
, if only i had the strength. it does cause me a lot of pain, but without him i have no source of love, cuddles, sex etc. life wouldnt be worth living.
i feel shitty, how do you think i feel?
we dont have sex all that often so i dont think im being used for that but certainly i am being used to company, affection etc, but arent all relationships an exchange of that?
i wish i could live like you but sadly i have BPD which means its very hard to let your Fav person
go. i know its a pathetic excuse but i just cant. its been years. my friends and family beg me to leave him but i cant do it.
i wish i had your strength, nonna. treasure that bravery, i do not possess it.
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Seeing sexuality and weird race changes pushed into fanart reminds me of when every autist was making a sonic OC monstrosity.
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Yeah, who said creating OCs was cringe?
>>825645>without him i have no source of love
How can you say this while also saying>completely unacceptable and disloyal behaviour>He has made it clear how little he thinks of me.
What source of love? You're just lying to yourself.
>life wouldnt be worth living without him
You know he isn't the only man on earth, right?
I don't mind this >>825660
but this >>825663
is obviously haram>>825674
nta but op was talking about racebending fanart of already existing characters, often times who are already "poc
" but get changed anyway for woke points.
adding onto this because they also do it to historical figures who owned slaves for some reason
I mean, maybe it's based because those guys would hate it? still absolutely bad taste though
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Take them, you'll feel better.
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Alright, who is it. It's gotta be some aging rockstar, am I right? Explain yourself to the jury.
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? What the fuck? Make sure he’s rich or that he’s willing to let you keep some valuables when he expires.
is right. Before I got with my ex, one of his friends had a huge crush on him. She was so beautiful, successful and had a fun personality I almost got a crush on her
, ‘objectively’ better than me, yet he rejected her and dated me when we met later on. Similarly, I’ve rejected people who are amazing but I just didn’t feel anything for. Love is weird, as long as he’s being good to you go with it. Don’t ruin it by being upset over nothing.
Hahahaha no, that wasn't me but that made me laugh>>825638
I play both but recently fallen in love with RS3 or whatever they call it.
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It makes me so angry my ex was my exact type physically. I have somewhat uncommon taste esp for the type of guys in my country but he had it all right down to the "would be nice" traits. Fuck. Why did he have to have mento ilness he refused to treat and a garbage personality? He could be the perfect partner when he felt like it, those occasions were just ridiculously rare. I can't even hate fuck him now because he was that bad. THE BAR WAS THAT LOW YOU POS NOW WE'RE BOTH INCELS
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He's a family friend. He's super flirtatious and always finds a way to touch me. I'm disgusted by his age but I swear he looks and acts much younger. He's extremely cocky and never breaks eye contact for even half a second, it's like he can see right through you. I just want him for a couple of years. Like until he gets so old he starts becoming frail and shit, because that's gross. He looks similar to pic rel and that is the exact way he always looks at me and it turns me into a cringey giggly little bitch. God I am sorry
I’m so sorry, nonnie
, i hope you can develop some taste in the future, who knows? His inheritance might help you out with that.
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I got into a car crash and totaled my car, meaning it’s too broken to be fixed. I don’t have the proper insurance to cover it either… it was my first car and I really loved it… forgive the 2008 emo gif but it’s exactly how I feel right now.
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If my roommate doesn’t stop screeching on the phone at 11 at night I’m going to go roundhouse kick her in the jaw
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Is it possible to find a scrote who DOESN'T watch porn?? Someone give me hope please. I know watching porn isn't necessarily the same as physical cheating, and from what I understand of the male perspective it's primarily for just releasing their hormonal urges and I can understand they're not necessarily getting that emotional pleasure that comes with actual sex. In my personal opinion, it's one thing to consume that garbage when you're single, but if you're involved with someone and they're already sending you personal material, why would you go out and seek it somewhere else? Is it wrong to feel like that's a slap in the face? I'll admit I feel insecure, but isn't it understandable when the guy you like is jerking it to some girl who's no doubtedly prettier? Is it expected that girls accept this and be cool with it? I really hope modern dating isn't this fucked.
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The newfaggotry that came with admin revealing that creepshow posted on lc make me wanna lowkey put a bullet in my head
>>825936>Is it possible to find a scrote who DOESN'T watch porn??
No. Most men grew up with porn so most have an addiction.>Is it wrong to feel like that's a slap in the face?
No, you have every right to feel this way. You don't have to be the "cool gf who lets her bf oogle at other women". Talking to your partner about your boundaries is always good and if he shows any signs that he doesn't want to respect them then break all ties with him. Or else you're going to be dealing with constant arguing and misery.
I fully expect to be single for the majority of my life, I can't see myself ever settling for the trash many women marry just for the sake of being married. Admittedly I never had fantasies about having a family so I never got attached to the idea, but it still gets to me because I'm afraid of the stigma, people assuming I'm miserable and lonely, practical issues like not always having someone to help me with certain things, etc. It's a tough choice to make and it's hard to tell what you really want in life when so much societal conditioning exists specifically to pressure women into lowering their standards out of desperation for marriage (despite all the studies clearly showing it negatively affects our health, leisure time, finances, life span, career etc while it improves men's lives in all areas…).
Anyway I think it helps to focus on what you gain from being single rather than what you might miss out on. I see it as total freedom and a way to maximize my energy and free time while minimizing stress and drama. As a risk averse person, the security and safety that comes with only needing to trust and rely on myself is invaluable. I don't think I can give it up for a gamble like marriage.
It takes a lot of deconditioning. Even if you don't get an obscene amount of "When are you getting married?" from your family it's what society as a whole pushes, saying a woman's primary worth is being a scrote's bangmaid and popping out children. In media men are praised for being individualistic and heroic, meanwhile women are admirable for looking pretty and being nice. That's slowly changing in some countries but we still have a long way to go. As >>825971
says, I think there's actually a ton gained from being single. I used to look back on my relationship with some yearning for what I had, but all it basically amounted to was some physical pleasure (no orgasms though, that was still on me lol), a person to talk to (not always pleasant conversations though), and occassional help with chores and meals. Meanwhile, the list of negatives was immense
. I can take care of those three desires quite easily in ways that won't drag down my worth, opportunities and physical/mental well being. At this stage a man would have to greatly improve my life over what I can provide myself, and that's a tall fucking order. It's a relief not to have a parasite attached to me and do whatever I want without waiting for the inevitable sarcastic commentary, mopey expression or entitled attitude to re-emerge.
Not worrying about a manchild freed me up to truly focus on myself and accomplishing the things I want in life. You need to see yourself as a worthy person and explore what brings you real happiness without feeling the desire to live up to someone else's expectations of you. That can be difficult when you've spent most of your life looking to please others, but it is possible and worthwhile.
Thank you guys, seriously, for your answers. I don't have time to type a full reply but I'm screenshotting them to mull it over further.
Something that bothers me about my problem is that there's almost a moral aspect to my guilt? I almost feel like it's wrong of me to not marry a man, and that I actually would regret it and die lonely. Then when it comes to being with a woman I know I could be happier but I am scared that homophobes are right . Sorry to pack so much in my reply but I think I have a lot of religious trauma to work through as well
I am deathly afraid of being wrong
Most men are terrible company. They have almost zero capacity for empathy and I truly felt the loneliest I ever have in my previous relationship. Because I was technically "with" someone yet he refused to be there for me when I needed him most. The sense of abandonment and betrayal was strong. Funnily enough, I had zero self esteem and was going through a big depressive episode largely because of his
emotional abuse, so on top of not supporting me he wasn't supporting me over something he caused. Now I'd say I'm "alone but not lonely" because I have wonderful (female) friends who actually show up for me in addition to self confidence so I don't feel the need for a man's, or really anyone's, approval. If I'm upholding my values and working towards things I find worthwhile then that's enough to feel content.
It's great that you're open to relationships with women. I know that comes with its own set of difficulties and stigma, but in general far more women are capable of a healthy, full love compared to men. Have you ever spoken with self-assured lesbians about your feelings? Honestly I think finding a supportive group of women who have dealt with this sort of thing before would be most beneficial over a therapist who might buy into the whole genderqweer crap and confuse the issue further.
It's impossible to say what the right and wrong decision is until it's been made, but keep in mind that there is a lot of proof out there that getting married absolutely can be the wrong decision. Many women have their lives ruined by marrying and especially having children with the wrong man.
It's ok to just be passive and open minded about it, rather than thinking you need to make a decision here and now. If a great, marriage material man (or woman) comes into your life then you have that option. If he doesn't, you just ended up not meeting the right person and that's fine too. Either way it's not your fault or responsibility, it's luck and chance. Not something to beat yourself up over.
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I don’t know where to start except that internet is making me hate men a little bit more every day
doubleposting but also>fashion and modesty
just say sewing
The only silver lining in reading this shit is the knowledge that men are absolutely seething with jealousy at our control over their reproductive capacities, and the fact that many of them will rightfully never have children.
Keep your standards unapologetically high and weed the trash out of the gene pool ladies, it's all we can do.
My bf doesn't watch porn, it's rare but not impossible. Wish his motivation was more noble than "porn consumption makes it harder to maintain erection" but I'll take it; he surely can't be the only one.
With my ex who did watch porn I though I'm a cool girl and I can take it but the disgust I felt seeing titles of stuff he jerked off to was just too much. It is kinda expected that women accept this kind of behavior but I think we should never force ourselves to be cool with something that we find morally wrong.
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>am on period so I'm being extra retarded emotionally
>decide I want to check out ffxiv
>realize it would be the first mmo I'd start without my dad
Fuuuck, I know this will never go away 100% and I'll learn to live with it eventually but I hate it when it hits so randomly. He also hated weeb stuff so he probably wouldn't have touched it but still
Let me make it more clear >sonic OC people back in the day piling on as many random things onto a sonic character to make it as unique as possible >people now piling on sexualities and races to make a character more woke,special etc as possible>both freak the fuck out if their design choices are criticized
I have nothing against regular OCs kek
It's really annoying how watching porn when in a relationship is seen as "ok/normal" and you're the problem when you voice discomfort because "everyone does it" nowadays.
And OF made that shit even worse imo because now you have guys spending money on these girls for things they could find online for free, but in reality they do have some kind of bond with some of them because part of OF is engaging with your subscribers, which means private videos/messages/pics. I previously talked to a couple of guy friends about it and they say that these girls talk to their subscribers one on one daily (sexting, sending private videos/pics,some you can "unlock" for money but they're still tailored to your taste/preference)and these girls will hit you up a couple of times per day.
A friend of mine discovered once that her boyfriend was subscribed to a few of them but he said that "It's just for jerking off, you're the only one I love babe" and she's still absolutely crushed even though they broke up pre covid and lord knows how many trust issues she still has now. I'm sure that those idiots would be pissed if their gf did the same thing with men who are on OF but apparently for men it's acceptable because boohooo they have dicks and are constantly tempted even though they seek out that shit themselves.
Yeah, there are some people like that. The kinds who were charming and flirty in their young age (but not sleazy), and just never really lost it. My dream is to be that kind of old lady someday, if I live that long.
Still gross because elderly scrote, but I can sort of understand where you're coming from, anon.
>>826032>I'm sure that those idiots would be pissed if their gf did the same thing with men who are on OF but apparently for men it's acceptable because boohooo they have dicks and are constantly tempted even though they seek out that shit themselves.
Isn't it interesting how most women don't do this, though? I was going to say "Women should do just that in response", but then I thought "Ew, why the fuck would any woman want to pay actual currency for some random man's time and a handful of dick pics?". The closest thing I've seen to it is girls and women who support male content creators like Corpse Husband or Sykkuno, or even erotic audio creators on Patreon (this one's really surprising to me), but I don't know if they get close to their fans the way men do with girls on OF.
Is it just that women are too loyal, or are men just not that great?
Men are not that great + we're not socialized to objectify men like that I think.>>826032
OF is the worst; I could maybe understand how some people would not perceive just watching porn as cheating, but subscribing to an individual content creator, especially with OF where creating this "fake friendship" with privately sent content is so common is so crossing the line. I feel bad for women that have to experience having to explain something this obvious to their coomer partners.
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sometimes I really think that I genuinely must be cursed or just not alive or being on this planet right now is like a complex simulation of lie and I’m in purgatory. I’m very sure that I’m probably dead as hell and you guys are real but not actually real, but I’m a phantom because my previous life hasn’t been complete. there is no way life is this shitty let me be optimistic there is no goddamn way it’s this shitty or this has to be a joke or something. i’m so fucking tired of being snubbed, ignored, never acknowledged anywhere and the only way I can really be me is through some gossip anonymous site. does anything really even matter? does it really? because I just don’t even have anything to lose anymore
>you’re too young trust me things get better
they don’t, and in actuality it’s getting worse and even more intolerable. there is no point to this life or this existence, suicidal anons are truly on to something, no everybody is worthy or needs to exist. even thanos was correct like I just wish we could snap the earth’s population away
I don't know if I'm tired because of my vaccination or just because I'm like this literally every day aghhhh I'm fed up>>826095
Wishing you the best anon
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Just sent off a job/trainee application that I know I'm semi under-qualified and will panic the interview for. I need to escape neetdom but it's so hard when I'm trying to switch career paths and haven't got anything worthy to show employers that I'm worth hiring. Fuck. Can someone just take a chance on me. Or just give me the confidence to bullshit my way past an interview.
My chest is already thumping and all I've done is send an application
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>have a very specific question
>the best place to ask is a forum
>procrastinate for weeks because social anxiety and because posting on anything that isn't an image board is scary
>finally make account
>spend hours reading the rules and post guidelines before making first post
>spend another few hours writing the thread OP
>no one replies
i have this exact 'male' attitude and have been given jobs im not qualified for. i think in total i've been given 4 jobs i havent been nearly but not fully qualified for.
this anon is right>>826190
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I am too retarded to communicate my needs like a functioning human being
I'm not even talking about romantic relationships, I'm talking about friendships in which I can't tell the people around me that their behaviour is annoying me, so I just drop off the face of the Earth for a few days then come back when I am not angry/annoyed anymore
I wish I could just stop being like this and address my problems instead of being a coward
Shout out to you, k-pop sperg, for fighting for your cause
An autistic cause, but a cause nonetheless
But really now, why is there a sudden influx of k-pop related discussions lately? Did the Creepshow thread really attract that many twitterfags?
You’re right you definitely are retarded, but more importantly you must be 18 or older to post here. If you absolutely must kpop sperg without integrating then try choachan instead.
>I guess im just confused and upset because why tf couldnt kpop be this global phenonomen 10 years ago when I actually cared??
Because trending kpop shit in 2012/2011 was electronic noise and uncool sm style shit or shitty bands. 2ne1 would have been the only girl group with a chance and still be niche as fuck with “asian lady gaga” treatment. I don’t know how old (or young) you are but idols weren’t all that back then either. Take off the rose tinted glasses and drop the gen and stan twitter shit, for your own sake since it seems to negatively impact your ability to enjoy kpoop as a hobby.
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this happened just now but my bff added me to a group chat with one of her friends and we basically just send each other shitty tik toks. Anyway a couple of weeks ago when we all hung out this guy on the street catcalled me and i know it was me because he waited for my friends to pass and we made eye contact when he did it. So the new friend to me (more so acquaintance lets be real) shares a tiktok in the gc about catcalling in NYC to laugh about the situation. I laugh and say i dont understand what triggered his response because he called me a bitch in like .002 seconds for not saying thank you when he didnt even give me a chance too. My bff pipes up and is like "that guy didnt catcall you he catcalled me" i have no idea why she would try to make claim to that even if it was true (it wasnt) because he was a greasy short fat balding italian man in his late 50s. I told her "i mean we made eye contact when he called me gorgeous and then a conceited bitch but if you want that moment you can have it" Idk it just pissed me off because i notice that she always does this thing of trying to humble me when we are around other people. ESPECIALLY if its someone from her friend group. I used to just let it slide but lately its been irritating me because we are fucking grown as hell now. Like lets say he didnt catcall me and catcalled her WHO GIVES A SHIT why correct it? Like if she said he did it to her i would just let her have the moment because its a fucking cat call from an ugly scrote. The whole point of the other girl sending the tik tok was to make fun of men and she tried to make it into a competition about who got objectified by who. like bitch wtf?? this is why i hate group chats.
How are Twitterfags looking at us calling eachother "faggot" and "retard" yet still trying to assimilate?
I thought we were hostile and anti woke enough to act as a repellent for their sort of craic to be lingering about
sorry i meant to tag someone else whatever remind me to never vent about anything kpop related again because it'll trigger
the image board elitists.
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my lack of fulfillment stemming from my lack of political conviction and awareness of the last few years is eating at me, finally jumped back into reading all kinds of theory and history just to find myself resenting the circles im in more and more. I'm becoming so much more stern. I have 0 time for idpol and not even a year ago I was convinced by others that I was non binary. It's putting massive walls up between me and the others I know but honestly I can't even interact with them anymore seeing how delusional and rabid they are over fucking nothing. I feel like I have no one yet feel better than ever because I know a mostly clear house means new guests. I'm struggling with deprogramming myself from the neo lib western identity bullshit. So many nights I've felt so much guilt like I was doing something wrong for having thoughts and second guesses about myself and others. I didn't realize how actually scared of retaliation I was until I detransitioned socially and went ghost. I really don't know how I found solace in a fucking circus like that community for so long. I'm so fucked up by it I feel like I'm a terrible person for having natural reactions. I'm so fucking sick of having these nasally little cuck voices in my head telling me that I'm not a good person if I don't let idpol sex pests make me uncomfortable. I'm tired of feeling obliged to be a fucking handmaiden. Am I peaking? Being so deeply steeped in the community has made me so sick to my stomach and I've never felt this anger before. For once I just see through it for what it is, manipulation and pandering and I just do not think any humans should be wasting time congratulating fuckers on their genitals. The planet is dying, children are being melted into busses in Syria and Palestine, capitalism is crumbling in my country and we are fucked but all western faggots want to do is talk about why not sucking girl dick is punishable by sexual coercion and public shaming. Absolute fucking insanity. Porn sick fucking psychos.
God fucking dammit. God fucking dammit. GOD. I don't know how to approach my other remaining friends about these feelings either. They aren't trans or specialgender but align themselves as allies, I feel like I literally can't say anything without risking being hurt for real. The trauma from MtFs following me home from work and screaming at me for saying No to sex has really fucked me up.
For the longest time I thought, no. Not all women. Just because you've had a bad couple of times with trans women doesn't mean you're allowed to be precautious or guarded. That's a microaggression.
But now? I'd rather give an AGP a decora noose than even let them think through my SILENCE that they are okay or should be tolerated. Ban me if you want maybe I'm being too based rn but fuck it dog. If this makes me a transmisogynist then I'm going pro.
THANK YOU i know id be called dumb or whatever but everyone is
acting like they dont have cringe shit they enjoy and love to vent about that others would find stupid as hell. >>826399
how soon these hoes forget. but Pepperidge farm remembers. lol
He absolutely gets bitten and at one point slept outside in the living room on a reclining chair for 6 months that he covered with plastic sheeting because he kept getting bitten so much. My whole family is sick of it. I'm mostly anxious because I just started a new job and I can't even ask to work from home or take time off to deal with it because there's no timeframe because my dad's fucking stupid. I only have like 7 non-winter shirts (because we packed everything away in like, February) and I'm anxious about my coworkers noticing or pointing out that I keep wearing the same things over and over again. I fear if I say 'I have bedbugs' then they're going to freak because I have to come into the office since I'm new. Having to hide it stresses me out and the idea of bringing them into work stresses me out too.>>826473
I considered it, but I have no real standing in the situation because my name isn't listed as one of the shareholders of the apartment. My dad is also one of the board members and word would get back to him eventually, and he is as capable of handling his emotions as any other man out there. I can't bring someone in when he's away because even if that exterminator successfully treated our apartment, I can't give proof to the board that we've been treated because the exterminator would've been hired without the board's approval and then we'd be subject to a fine (and then we'd still be in our current mess with the board looming over us).
All I have to do now is get approval and then it's treatment time. The goal is so, so close. But every time I think this nightmare is close to being over, my dad has to do some stupid shit to extend it. I tried to be optimistic in the beginning, thinking we'd finally clean out the apartment and get rid of my parent's hoarder mess and maybe even paint the walls and install shelving to make the place look nice, but nope. Now I'm just defeated and tired and want this to be over, decent apartment that I can invite my friends over to with no shame be damned. The best thing my defeated self can take is no more bedbugs and no threat of a thousands of dollars bill being handed to us. Maybe they'll go and target one of the other tenants with bedbugs about it instead because I've read in emails that they are also not cooperating lol.
idk anon this post >>826324
seems more like infighting to me. her original post wasn't attacking anyone
My boyfriend's anxiety pisses me off. Why are you getting freaked out in the grocery store on a Wednesday? Why are you cringing from an old lady and dodging people like a dog that used to get beaten? I get so mad and he just gets more and more apologetic until I'm almost foaming at the mouth in rage. For example, he is pushing the cart and we go past the water, and I ask him to come back with the cart. At that moment a woman walks around us and he stops and like, cowers against the cart and refuses to move because "there is somebody there" and I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like 4 feet away from us, just bring the cart over, she's not even in your path, what the fuck are you doing? And he gets even more anxious and completely shuts down. I think he needs to be on medication. He's pissing me off. This happens constantly we will be in the middle of grocery shopping and he shuts down/dissociates and sometimes won't respond to my questions, forgets what we are doing. Like he insists on being in charge of the list and the cart even when I offer to help with both multiple times and then he gets overwhelmed like ??? WHY ARE YOU CAUSING THIS YOURSELF. Why are we going down every single aisle of the grocery store? Every time we have a major fight it is because of issues like this. Or like, say there is a crowd of people spaced normally and it would be normal to go "excuse me" and go through, he will take an extremely long out of the way route around them. Or he's the opposite, he will weave ahead of me in a crowd like a little kid and leave me yards behind. I know a lot of it is because of his undiagnosed autism but holy fuck. I am tired of being so angry at him all the time but I can't help it. He makes me so mad. And he is nothing but apologetic so I feel like Hitler
Don't feel bad, nonna. I'm very, very similar to your bf and I know it's intensely annoying to live with people like us. He definitely sounds like he needs medicating, for me taking diazepam helped greatly. Did your bf have an abusive
upbringing though? My mother was basically an attack helicopter - hovering and nitpicking 24/7 - it's made me super apologetic for the most basic shit. Could be something worth bringing up if he ever talks to a therapist or something.
Yep! In one of my first emails to the property manager (because my dad usually makes me email them for him), I mentioned that. They're supposed to treat our apartment and adjacent ones, but they didn't for whatever reason. The property manager didn't even answer my question as to why they didn't. The other infested units are not adjacent to ours, they're on other floors and other sides of the building (not that it matters since bedbugs can travel very far) so they can't blame us for being the source. The board has been digging their heels in and saying we're the source but I know that's extremely difficult to prove, and (for better or worse) with other infested apartments they'll have nothing to back them. They've been trying to bill us for treating the entire building by saying we're the source but it honestly just seems like they just have no money to pay for treating the whole building so they're trying to find someone to foot the bill. My uncle used to be on the board years ago and said they used to have millions in the reserve but now they're down to a measly one million or so lol. I'm also trying to hire a guy who will come in every three months to retreat after our initial treatments for a heavily discounted price, so even if the adjacent apartments did get infested and infest us again, it should be under control. It'll add up to a lot of money, but still cheaper than what the building has been trying to bill us for. >>826522
I sure do anon… I mentioned in an earlier vent that the apartment is my inheritance too, it's selfishly important to me that the board doesn't cause issues when it will eventually be passed to me (not sure how my building handles inheritances).
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i’m so afraid why am I so afraid to stand up for myself why am I so scared of change
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I'm like that too.>>826491>I hope I'll feel better soon.
You will, anon. I wish you the best.>>826542
Okay I see you're losing patience. I think it's time he gets put on medication if he can. Also reassure that you don't hate him.>>826571
I don't know if any of this will makes sense or mean anything to you, but I think it's because you're scared of the unfamiliarity of the future. You're used to whatever you're used to right now so knowing that routine won't be the same makes you think you'll feel lost. Ask yourself: Is this really where I want to be (physically or mentally) in another year or two? If the answer is no, then it's time you build up the courage to say/do what you want. You'll be holding yourself back from truly blossoming if you let it continue. The time is now.>>826573
Tell me what mutant powers you get if you live.
I've been the super anxious person and I dated the rager who thought I was 'doing it to myself' The relationship was a whole shitshow based on that dynamic and I got worse as his view of me affected my self esteem and compounded the problem tenfold. 2 years after breaking up he randomly emailed me telling me about his very first panic attack just happening… I didn't know what to say after years of being told panic attacks arent real lol
He needs help, more than whatever he's currently doing about it, but on top of that it might be kinder to not be in his life while you feel this way about a disorder that's destined to at least linger for many years of his life even with treatment and effort. If you're at all voicing things to him in a patronising way like the post describes him..that'll make things so much worse. It's beating a man while he's down if you say any of this to him. He needs building up. If you don't have it in you to want to play that role (which is understandable) let him go be independant and work on himself. It might be the thing he secretly needs.
Yeah, you have no self esteem so you're hanging off the scraps of affection this pig tossed you because they provide a brief respite from feeling like a worthless failure. No judgment implied, I used to be the same. You can find worthiness and love within yourself without having to wait for Scroto Saggins to break off a crumb of peen to keep you going. There will be a day you look back at moments you wrote things like things and cringe. Hard. Read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and a CBT book like Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques by McKay. They're both on Libgen. Educate yourself and woman up. Stop being a patriarchy-socialized bootlicker, you can get past this. Countless women before you have. >I don’t want to feel these past years with him were for nothing at all.
See: sunk cost fallacy
Remind yourself that the worst thing they can say is no. I landed a job I was underqualified for and I was totally honest about what they asked for vs what I could offer. This sounds weird, but pretending you're the person interviewing you and you're interviewing someone who acts confident helped me not trip up and be my usual dumbass self.
I saw a post saying if your feminism makes men uncomfortable, you're doing great. I wholeheartedly agree with this. I began to follow a lot of radical feminist blogs when I was on tumblr at some point, my boyfriend used to just scroll through my timeline when he was bored. One day the timeline was just filled with radfem content, and he turned to me with anger, "This shit is so frustrating. I
can't fix this. What am I supposed to do about all these issues?" And I was quiet for a bit because I didn't expect him to say anything about these blogs. I asked him, "Are you upset because something they said applies to you? Because a lot of the stuff this is about happens to women every day." I don't remember much after that, I think he just stopped and accepted the fact sexism runs deep in society and the systems that are put in place.>>826704
she/theys and he/theys are basically "I'm a more masculine woman / feminine man" classic not like the others move
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Part of me is jealous of people who are horny a lot. I've always had a low sex drive, but lately my libido is completely fucking dead. I'm so sad, masturbating does hardly anything because my entire vagina and breasts practialy feel numb. Like I'm rubbing my arm or something. I can still make myself orgasm with toys but It's incredibly shallow and weak. Why did I have to be born with a broken pussy & sex drive?
I've been able to experience some really intense orgasms but only very rarely. I'm really starting to wonder if It's something to do with my diet, or maybe some kind of psychological blockage stopping me from having the amazing orgasms I deserve. It never really bothered me that I rarely experience sexual attraction to other people, but barely experiencing ANY sexual desire or sensation sucks so fucking bad.
Anon, if this person is in some way dangerous or toxic
to the people around them, you should say something. Not only will it do you a world of good but you'll also be protecting others from inflicting on to others what they did to you
I think this is important because a lot of streamers have a tendency to be abusers and groomers. It's worse now if they're either since now they have access to people who look up to them.please
say something if it means stopping them from spreading more hurt
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i love loving parents; i'm grateful for them, but i do want friends. people my age to fuck around with. but i can't seem to make them.
i've talked about this before countless times here and on other ib's but it hit me hard today, when i made an attempt to join a conversation and was more or less ignored by most of the participating parties. admittedly this was over discord, but idk. it happens all the time irl too.
and yeah, whenever i get used to my loneliness i oversee a fun conversation between people that like one another and get sad all over again. to the point that i'm tearing up as i type this.
feel pathetic about it, but it is what it is. why couldn't i have been born a charismatic stacy
>>826794>i love loving parents
i just got off work a little while ago, and im about to sound so fucking stupid but this shit makes me so mad. i used to be a barista at a different place in a different city, for three years, eventually got into management. i finished college and moved home, worked in an office for a few months and couldnt stand it, had to leave. then covid hit and i wasnt working for a year. recently i started at starbucks and holy fucking shit. i cant believe how absolutely fucking terrible it is. ive been here for like 7 months and im already 100% burned out and ready to go back to fucking reception. i asked for 25 hrs a week, somehow am working ~38 sometimes 40. this week i worked 8 days straight. idk if im a god damn autist or what but im always there, always ready to work and get my shit done. were short staffed as fuck, out of literally everything because productions shut down cause of covid, dealing with increasingly more complicated (and disgusting) orders. if i have to make another no water no ice trenta refresher with a trenta cup of ice on the side, for the same god damn price as a regular one, im going to commit arson i swear to god. call outs arent penalized and half the time im expected to pull the weight of three positions when im still only getting paid for one. i really wish starbucks could be exposed some how for how disgusting the stores are (couldnt tell you the last time the lobby or anything for that matter was sanitized, let alone sanitized every 30 minutes) and for how overworked the employees are. dont even get me started on expectations at "peak".
im done now cause i want to enjoy my cider, but holy shit. stop going to starbucks
>>826303>What i am salty about however is that all of these new groups are literally just recycled carbon copies of the 2nd gen groups.
Based. I got into k-pop during 1st gen because I'm an oldfag but 2nd gen was by far the most superior. >>826324>Because trending kpop shit in 2012/2011 was electronic noise and uncool sm style shit or shitty bands.
You go around calling other people underage and then turn around to spew zoomer sounding bullshit like this. Cope.
Lol, not them. Would be hilarious if you were correct though. Ngl, had my heart beating. Hint: It was a dating game show.>>826792>>826790
I would really have to sit down and think things through. I know personally with others coming forward in dms or on their private twit accounts that they done this to them as well.
And by "this" I mean going behind our backs to mutual friends to say how shitty of a person we were to them in order to get those people to mass unfollow/block. Made a separate discord just to trash others while basically pretending to be the bees knees to a few with a larger following. So maybe expose worthy, but definitely something I would have to work on in a delicate manner.
Shinee suck and I'm sick of having to pretend otherwise because their stans put them on such a pedestal as the true artistes of the industry. They can sing, they can dance, they are nice enough kids but their singles are trash and it would have been a national embarrassment if they were globally famous releasing shit like Why So Serious, Dream Girl, Everybody, etc etc.
But yes otherwise agreed 2nd gen >>> and Soshi/2ne1 deserved better.
I'm rarely horny myself but if I use my vibrator I can instantly get in the mood. Can you try getting a sex toy and see if that works? I'm not horny very often myself bc of a medication I take and I often masturbate whenever I'm not on my period just because I'm not on my period, not bc I'm horny.>>826424>>826524
I grind my teeth (bruxism) and have TMJ because of it. I feel you SO hard anon. I just got a bite guard to replace my plastic retainer instead and I'm hoping it can make a bit of a difference. One side of my jaw makes this clicking/cracking noise and is exceptionally painful, apparently it's because the bones are touching each other and the cartilage between the two bones is gone. I'm only 23 so I can only imagine how bad this will be in the long-run. Ultimately I wanna get Botox in my jaw but I have no money. As soon as I get the chance I'm gonna get it done bc I've heard it's literally magical for us with chronic tension/pain. It's probably years away but I can already predict myself crying out of happiness though I'll be like $300-400 poorer.
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It fucking sucks but honestly anon there’s nothing you can do. You can encourage him (more than you obviously already have) to get medicated and diagnosed, but you shouldn’t have to feel this much responsibility over his life. The grown man cannot take care of himself in fucking public. What he needs is more than what a loving and caring girlfriend can provide. And you clearly must like him enough, because otherwise you wouldn’t feel so bad about unwillingly having to play makeshift caretaker for an overgrown butterfly baby every time you buy groceries. He sounds like a real pain in the ass. You’re not hitler, you’re just fed up with him causing his own problems and not dealing with them appropriately. Mental illness is real blah blah blah, why can’t he work on it away from a time where you’re doing something important? Why doesn’t he try walking in a park? Why does he neglect himself by not
working on getting better in an effective and healthier way? He needs a therapist or a counselor, and neither of those are free labour.
i'm a dumbass. i'm majoring in something barely useful in the real world and now i have to deal with working minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life probably. i thought i wanted an academic career and maybe even become a college professor one day but i fucked up my application for grad school and now i have to find a job. sucks that i'm not immediately available because i have two classes left that require attendance to pass and another one that i have to study for. i wish i had any talent for math tbh. my life would be so much easier if i wasn't such a big idiot when it comes to numbers. instead i wasted three years of my life with literature studies. at least it boosted my confidence since i got really good grades and cured myself of the belief that i had only a lower double digit iq.>>826861
in my country (european) it's extremely common to just hand in your notice and then either take all your remaining vacation days at once or hand in a doctor's note that you're sick. maybe that's an option for you too? or act dumb and be like "do you still want me to come in orrrr?"
Nayrt but to me that rant definitely sounds like she's being a cunt to her bf. There's no need to be so defensive, especially when you're implying you're not the OP of the rant? She's allowed to vent but people are also allowed to have an opinion about it. It's not a matter of moral superiority or being a zoomer, it's just that freaking out over your bfs anxiety to his face that badly is obviously only going to make things worse. I get that it's tough to deal with an anxious bf when you don't have the same issues, and he should also work on it, but she sounds like she loses her shit over it and deals with it in the worst possible way.
I can't help but feel bad for the bf.
Where???? Because she’s not holding his hand and coddling him while he acts like a fucking retard everywhere they go? Because he can’t so much as walk past another person and refuses to even try? He needs to go to therapy, get meds, or simply get the fuck over himself. It’s extremely frustrating to deal with. I had a bf that wouldn’t even go to pubs because “everyone stares when you go in” and refused to go to therapy and take meds, so I had a completely miserable relationship with him cos all he wanted to do was drink in front of the tv. In the end I dumped him and he was completely heartbroken, but who the fuck wants to be around a person like that? I’m sure he’s still sitting in his mothers box room wasting his life because of MUH ANXIETY WAAA!
Anxiety fags sort yourselves out. No, I will not order your coffee for you, stop being a fucking retard and getting scared of a teenage barista.
Nta I'm sure it is annoying and difficult to deal with, no one is obligated to do so, she's not her mom, hell I wouldn't do it myself. Still doesn't change the fact the original anon is a cunt tho.
She indeed needs breakup with him instead of complaining on lolcow about it.
Then don't date them. Find another dick with no anxiety.
You sound mad nonna, take a benzo.
Lmao I agree and this is hilarious.
You can tell who's mentally ill on this website based on who replied calling the OP things like a "cunt" because she's rightfully frustrated. You just know the scrote concealed his anxiety issues until anon cared and was too invested to leave at the first sign of smoke too. It's not like scrotes blab about their crippling social problems on the first dates cause then they know they'd never have relationships. Who can't walk past someone in a grocery store without having a breakdown? Absolutely pathetic.
The only shameful part of this story is that women have been conditioned to be loyal through these sorts of things to help "fix" these dudes unless they wanna be called a bitch, and yet ironically they're still called bitches the thought police anyway if they dare go on the internet to bitch about how difficult these men are.
It's a no fucking win situation and I hope she dumps, scrotes abandon relationships for way less.
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sounds like more than one person needs therapy
>>826961>until anon cared and was too invested to leave at the first sign of smoke too.
Then anon is just as pathetic she should dump this child instead of retard raging on a anonymous board>The only shameful part of this story is that women have been conditioned to be loyal through these sorts of things to help "fix" these dudes unless they wanna be called a bitch, and yet ironically they're still called bitches the thought police anyway if they dare go on the internet to bitch about how difficult these men are.
Yes it's pathetic and should be called out.
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Why the fuck does she delay so much that'll teach me about being dependant on someone over a simple task, my fucking plans.
I feel you there, seeing people you're friends with gossip like that about their friends makes you so paranoid about what they say about you. My best friend of 10+ years made two new friends and introduced me to them. All she did after that was shit talk one of the two. Claimed she stalked the other friend and forced them to include her or she'd throw a fit, that they didn't like her, that she was an annoying SJW, and a lot more. She said a few shitty things about the other one too, like that she "looked autistic" but mostly just focused on shitting on one and claiming the other was great. I told her over and over that it made me uncomfortable, but she'd always just claim it was "harmless venting."
Weirdly the one they both shit on seemed ok and the one she said was great was super shitty and took advantage of everyone. Every time we went out she had other people pay for her (despite her making way more money than any of us).Even when we played video games together she'd afk during fights, let us do all the work, then take credit. I snapped when she got everyone to come help her move apartments and then just watched. I told her it was shitty she seemed to take advantage of us and her response to that was removing me and blocking me from everything. "Best friend" said she wasn't going to take sides but that I was kinda mean.
I dropped all three of them after that but damn did it sting. They're all still friends but I often wonder how they'd feel to know what was said about them.
On a real note his work is overrated and people need to stop licking his ass so much. He was broke when alive for a reason.
Don't care if he's canceled tbh. Some dead people aren't meant to be continually discussed and allowed to fade into relics of their time.
>>826961>You can tell who's mentally ill on this website based on who replied calling the OP things like a "cunt"
But calling someone replying a "sanctimonious lil bitch" for calmly calling OP out is a sign of exquisite mental health, right? Do you expect a hugbox response when the post sounds this unhinged and aggressive?
I hope she dumps him too but people aren't magically in the right just because they have a shitty bf.
I'm so fucking retarded when it comes to this girl. We used to work together and she was my boss, and I ended up turning to her often when I was had work issues because I trusted her. I don't really know if we could be called friends, we were casual and friendly at work and we did hang out and talk on occasion outside of work by ourselves, but that was about it. A lot of other coworkers have pointed out that it seemed like I was really close with her, even though I wasn't there for that long. I've left the company and she transferred abroad shortly after, and we'll only message each other once or twice a year and it's usually just in reply to an instagram post or story. I don't actually know a lot about her, and others who are a lot closer will tell me things about her that differ from the image she's put up in front of me.
I have this weird mix of emotions about her. I admire her but fear her, I don't like her but always have a small crush on her, I want to be closer to her but also don't think I want a person like her in my life. She's just a really weird enigma. I was one of the first people she told when she was transferring abroad, but she didn't even bother to see me before she left and a friend said "now you know how she really is." She says she's scatterbrained and I know I shouldn't let it bother me because I don't really think we're friends but it kind of hurt my pissbaby feelings anyway lol. She's back in my city for vacation and said if I'm around then we should hang out for a bit but I don't know if I should take her up on that offer. Honestly sometimes I think she only bothers messaging me to make sure I'm not dead because I confided in her that I didn't want to be alive anymore last day at that company lol. I also don't feel comfortable asking where I stand in her life because I'm afraid it'll overstep boundaries if she doesn't view me as someone close to her. She did reach out to me first, but I'm wary of seeing her but have also really missed her and like her attention so I want to see her lol. Why am I such a retarded lesbian ugh.
>>827013>But calling someone replying a "sanctimonious lil bitch"
It was accurate and funny and quite frankly deserved.
Too many people defending an inept scrote itt because they're taking what anon said about anxiety personally. She's absolutely correct and people in general either need to be medicated and in therapy or not in relationships if they can't handle a store trip. Pure and simple.
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> I burnt myself out by working on a personal project for 2 months
> I kept telling myself, once I am done with my project, I can finally create cute art and doodles for my fave content creators and show my support!
> Second month in a row, my content creators keep leaving their streaming platforms…
> The recent one hits harder the most, because I watched her livestreams during a difficult time in my life, for almost 3 years now. She felt like a friend to me (here i sound retarded, but during that time I did not talk to anyone at all, because all of my friends turned out to be using me and my naive ass). Her personality pushed me to not be ashamed of myself and keep creating no matter what anyone says
Anons… I am tired… I am so stupid and tired… But she decided to stop it all and focus on IRL, making herself happy, so I am happy for her. But it still hurts me hard…
I'm exactly like this, but I've forced myself to hide it and deal with the overwhelming panic attacks I get from interacting with people. If I can do that despite being probably one of the most avoidant and neurotic people ever, he can at least fucking try.
I've also had a similar problem with exes, they retreat or never speak up so I have to be the one to step up despite having really bad anxiety issues. It made me so angry and resentful, like they didn't give a shit about me. And when something truly stressful/grave happens, your boyfriend will probably retreat into his shell instead of helping and supporting you. Imo it's not worth it to be with someone like that. My boyfriend has times where things make him stressed out and uncomfortable, but he is so amazingly reliable and pushes through it regardless. And I do the same for him. We support each other through it. That's how it should be. Your bf should not just give up and leave you to deal with everything because he's uncomfortable.
YOURE the one “retard raging”. This is the vent thread you stupid fucking handmaiden. I swear people like you troll this thread day and night, looking for comments from people when they are at to wit very angriest, burned out from a persistent problem, and use is as an opportunity to convince yourself that you’re not a sallow autistic cunt with no empathy or life experience.
You aren’t as morally superior as you think you are hun. I guarantee it. You come to an anonymous space for “venting” to cast your judgement, you immediately jump to seeing the worst in people. I bet you’re a horrible person to be friends with.
Fuck off to the “I love my boyfriend” thread.(autistic screeching)
I'm scared to go back to school.
I'll be a junior, having been in quarantine since the end of freshman year. I'm scared to see my peers again; I've gained weight, my hair is longer, and I think I've gotten overall uglier. Not to mention I've had a series of dramas with an ex-friend of mine, and I'll have to deal with that every single day. Any advice is welcome, ignoring this post is also welcome. :')(emote)
it gives peoples ages away>>826948
no offense but do you have bpd and are splitting
The next place this happens is at university and the workplace. My boss is a misogynistic older woman. I'm held to much higher standards than my stupider, junior colleagues, and expected to be perfect. My mistakes are never forgotten; theirs are instantly ancient history. I've saved their asses tons of times and never made a big deal out of it. The one time I ended up saying something, I was treated like I was bragging or snitching (even though I saved our department thousands of euros by double-checking his work). I've had to start seeing a psychologist to deal with it.
Persevere. Find people to lift you up when bastards grind you down. Don't wait, like I did.
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ugh i had my third session with an online therapist and she made me talk about my dad so i just started crying and it didn't stop for the rest of the session and it was so embarrassing! i didn't even feel like it was emotionally difficult to talk about, but physically i was just crying continuously and i couldn't stop and it was humiliating. i wasn't even talking about anything traumatic just typical workaholic absent dad stuff. i wish i wasn't such a big baby.
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I wanted to subscribe my partner to a stupid grilled cheese subscription four our anniversary.
I wanted it be a surprise so I got his phone to delete the 'confirm email' email. While I was on there my curiosity was peaked and I stupidly snooped on his browsing history which I think is the worst thing I have ever done to another human being other than being born.
Long story short he frequents a subreddit for 'stupid sluts' which is a place for what appears to be mentally ill women and larping scrotes to write about their allegedly unsafe sexual encounters.
This would not be that bad if he had not previously tried to get me to do a bunch of degrading sex acts (which I said no to), I also have a problem with 'consensual misogyny' or whatever so I guess he found a way around that. I feel like an idiot for trusting him after he promised me he was done with viewing that sort of shit.
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I want our comfy and psychotic site back.
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Can men stop approaching me to be their emotional fucking support jesus fucking christ, I'm so tired of having to be nice to them, and it's not like I can straight up say fuck you because I study with them, like this guy comes in dumps me his emotional trauma and then proceeds to tell me the emotional trauma of his friend that also used me as en emotional support guide? like what the fuck is wrong with men? I'm not your therapist. Pic unrelated
The worst is when it's a random man unloading on you about how he feels bad about hurting another woman (but is too emotionally retarded to understand that he even does feel bad, he just 'for some reason' wants to talk about it a lot). Why am I helping you unpack how you used to get drunk and punch walls and scare your ex? I don't know you and now I'm on her side! I'm trying to have a nice time at this house party!!!
Thankfully since I grew a spine this doesn't happen any more.
I'm so not in the "build a man" camp but the vast majority of scrotes have zero experience with empathy so it's somewhat understandable even when the good ones don't have a clue. If he's really
that amazing in every other aspect then I would recommend asking him for more emotional support and he'll step up his game if he actually cares. (If he doesn't, reconsider how great you believe him to be.) Explicitly lay out what you would appreciate from him like "hey if I tell you I'm not feeling great will you write me a nice note or send me a 'hope you're doing better, I'm here for you' text" or whatever. They need very clear examples. My ex was horrendous in many ways but he did actually get better about this sort of thing to the point he would ask me how I was doing and say sweet things and bring me little gifts without my requesting it after I bluntly laid out what I wanted
>>827300>since I grew a spine this doesn't happen any more.
It's actually kind of fun when they try after you reach this point because they get the whole surprised pikachu face when you respond like a fellow scrote >man I was so angry and punched a wall and broke my own hand, I can't believe she made me feel so bad>sucks brah>uh and then I had to cope by smashing a bunch of beers, I had such a hangover the next morning>sick
When they realize you're not going to spend five hours coddling them and soothing their feewings assuring them they did nothing wrong like mommy would they learn not to try again pretty fast
Never be afraid to advocate for yourself and your needs. Empathy is a very basic desire and we often provide it to men without them having to do anything (as evidenced by all the responses to >>827263
) but sadly they're often not expected or taught the same. I think a good partner isn't necessarily the one who knows how to do everything perfectly from the start, but one who is always eager to listen to you and learn the best ways to make you happy
I'm so sorry nonny
. I hope you get some time to yourself to grieve and process things. There's nothing that makes a loss like this easier but I'm wishing you the best.
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I'm losing it, my friends either hate me or just don't give a shit about me anymore and it hurts so much I want to fucking commit die.
I know we're not meant to say things like this, but maybe he's just tired after going on a hike and needs to zone out, if he's your bf why can't you just ask him what's up?
I hope you can get out with fun friends soon though
Not trying to start an argument, nonny
, but her boyfriend is being a pussy baby. He's a grown man who can speak up if he wanted to.>>827501
All I have to say is I hope you get friends, too.
Whatever it is, don't assume it's about you or something you did.
If there was/is a problem you have to trust that he'd confront you about it and not play whiny passive aggressive games forever.
Friends would help because then you wouldn't only be focused on just this relationship. You could go somewhere else while he calms down and gets over whatever it is. It's a great idea either way.
I fucking hate one of my internet friends so much but she’s fucking deranged to the point where I’m scared to cut contact. For example her ex dumped her ONE YEAR AGO and she still constantly stalks him and his new gf, (now his ex from a month ago, yes she still stalks her bc she was “rude to her” ie telling her to leave her alone..) but that’s not even the main issue. She recently got into that whole “anime core” thing, for people who don’t know it’s mainly zoomers using old anime from the 2000s as a tumblr aesthetic. She collects figures from said types of anime (she has a few. I’ll get into this later) despite not ever watching the anime/reading the manga/playing the game where it came from. Now whatever I wouldn’t care about this IF she didn’t constantly talk about how she’s “not like those animecore whores who don’t even know the anime they use as an aesthetic” WHEN SHE DOES THE FUCKING SAME SHIT. ALL OF HER “FAVE ANIME” SHE HAS ONLY WATCHED A FEW EPS OF. Her fucking my anime list has less than ten anime on it (this includes incomplete anime she never finished) and oh my fucking god she CONSTANTLY complains about people who don’t watch anime but pretend to, and she is the exact same fucking way. On that same hypocrisy topic, she DESPISES sex work (not gonna put my two cents in here idrc) any kind of it, is a “proud misogynist r9k girl hehe” type of girl. YET SHE SEXTS AND HAS PHONE SEX W MEN FOR MONEY. And before anons ask no this isn’t scamming, she uses her selfies, just refuses to send nudes so by technical definitions, she is a sex worker. she calls herself a gamer girl but was complaining earlier about how long a game was (it is literally a vn that you finish in 5 hours) and how she hates long games and wish they’d get to the point.. also a massive weeb. she sent me pictures of foreigners meeting Japanese people and wearing kimonos (in Japan at one of those touristy rental places where they dress you in one not as a weird fashion thing) and went off about how ugly and disrespectful they are and how the Japanese would just love her… she then proceeds to show me her outfit she plans to wear to Japan… it is a qipao… anyways…
thank you for letting me vent, if you have any ideas on how I can cut her off without sending her on a sperg fest to me where I’m estalked for years it’d be appreciated
(Another thing I forgot to mention she HATES seeing people happy, anytime I mention something she tries to undermine it, My mom was gonna get a pug from the shelter and I was super excited, she fucking replies to that with ten screenshots of an article on how horrible health problems pugs have are, and a long paragraph telling me how she hates them and thinks they’re ugly and disgusting….?)
JESUS THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY.
My pent up anger just let it self out
Tl;dr I need advice on how to cut off my annoying online “friend” without causing her to seethe over me
and can confirm >>827534
. BPD is a helluva drug.
I'm properly done with the gossip portions of this site (pt/snow/w). It's too much being involved in worrying about other people's lives, usually chosen at random. There's too much nitpicking and anger involved when it's not necessary. I know there's the option to see the "content" of each thread, yet it's never filtered properly. And honestly, the majority is poor because the important shit is left out, ignored, not properly researched etc. It's trash.
This site has gone through so many major shifts, particularly with who maybe used to engage in the behaviour of truly looking into an internet anomaly, the type of characters worthy of an audience… The way it is now is not for me. These days, I enjoy reading the discourse between us all within the other boards, discussions, seeing other interests we enjoy or disagree on for a variety of reasons. It makes me realise more what I like about myself around other people, although it doesn't match up 100% of the time, yet without a weird feeling of stress that you can't quite put your finger on. I totally understand old posts years ago to even recently where anons said they had to quit coming here or staying away from threads due to it being too much.
It's like a weight off of my chest. This type of engagement is not a worthy hobby, of sorts. The rest of the boards remind me of old times in a healthier way, which is best at the end of the day. Small things like that can linger in your head, affect your thought processes, and self esteem at the end of the day (depending how/who you are!) So yeah. No offense to anyone else, there are a few original cows that deserve the observational lense; however, the scope had become too large which sometimes lessens the importance.
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Why am I paying so much in rent when my apartment is so fucking cold and doesn’t even come with AC or built-in heaters.
Fuck you Sydney.
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I'm watching videos of old ass neglected children in therapy clips for school and it annoys me how much I see myself in some of the milder cases of some sort of RAD. My whole family thought it was cute, grown up and a good thing I never once went up to anyone for comfort when crying or hurt as a kid, how the hell isn't that worrisome to see? My mom straight up lies whenever it's brought up, saying I never attempted approaching anyone as a kid when upset opting to isolate myself in an empty room or a corner when in fact I do remember trying to do just that at a very young age and she would just talk on the phone, possibly just patting me on the head or something, but not even looking. My dad would completely ignore me or scream at me if I was left alone with him as did my sister, like yea a child tends to read the room and act accordingly afterwards.
I'm relatively okay these but still very mentally ill and can't trust anyone to comfort me in any way though I have learned to appreciate whenever someone tries to, so I kinda pretend it's something that helps me.
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sisters i just checked my chart again and it sunk in that I have venus in gemini and virgo in mars
Pretty sure this means absolutely no one can actually love me because i'm too much of a needling, harsh prick who doesn't know what the fuck they actually want
I'm 29yo in august, and I didn't talk to my mother since I'm 17. I don't miss her at all, toxic as she is. But I was feeling bad for her recently because she had a lot of mental health issues, leading to suicidal tendancies. I felt bad because when I'm thinking about it, she was always alone, no one took her seriously.
I feel bad for her but at the same time I don't pardon her one bit for everything she did to me and her stupids reactions. I'm glad I cut ties with her and the rest of my family, toxic as they were. I can't stand my husband family for similar reasons ; I find them quite fucked up. I don't understand how he can still be with them. I guess I can't accept any apology from anyone.
My husband is saying I should pardon and move on. But I don't know how. I just hate his family, I don't like to see them everytime. Everytime, I'm here for him. But I feel like I should kill myself already. Nobody talk to me, and when I talk, because of my stuttering, they don't listen or even start a new conversation without me finishing.
I just wanna be alone.
Yeah those are both tough placements to have, sorry nonny
. It could be worse though after all like for example you could have your Venus in Virgo kek. What houses do you have those placements in? Just curious
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It's so fucking bad. They're leaking to other boards. Imma start calling them trannies and telling them to die so if actual farmer caught stray bullet I apologize in advance.
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Plenty of young UK/US women are skinny. However, I've been rejected for being too thin with a BMI of 19. Yes, they complain about that too! Go to any Girls Aloud video and find the "god they need to eat a sandwich, they're going to break in half". Also, the oompa loompa fake tan, heavy make-up look is a regional phenomenon, restricted to certain subpop. It's not difficult to find a natural looking UK girl. They then proceed to complain these women don't make an effort… I simply don't recognise these caricature of British girls, but they seem hellbent on making our reputation as piss poor as possible. When did they become so bitter?
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Anons I'm retarded and cant shake off bad feelings coming only from a stupid nightmare, how to deal?
For some reason for the last week I keep having very vivid dreams about my boyfriend either cheating on me or leaving me for our mutual former friend; she doesn't live in our country and we haven't been in touch for 3 years now so there's no real risk of it happening; but for some reason vividness of these dreams hangs heavy on me and I cant shake off the negative feelings, it's in the back of my mind all the time and ruins the day. Any of you has an experience with something similar and some way of dealing with it?
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I have to vent again, sorry… they are so full of shit.
"tattoo soaked weapon carrying skull themed hair pulled into a bun pseudo biker chick look" is the norm? Fucking where? KEK.
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>no one cares about your life story
>wtf do you expect us to do that you want to kill yourself? this is a gossip board. haha btw did you know we are better than 4chan?
but I do anon, trust me I do care about your blogposting. this might be a really shitty imageboard with aggressive people and horny college to middle aged women who haven’t heard about journaling, but I will always appreciate your derailed blogposts which is basically this whole entire thread. i might not even respond because my advice will go ignored/ruin your life even more, but you may be useless, ugly, a karen, a /meta/ complainer, insecure, or insignificant, but your story will always stick with me.
This is under every 70s music video on youtube and I hate it. They think women should go around in babydoll dresses and with wide smiles plastered on all the time. Tattoos and butch or andro styles bug the absolute hell out of them.
Middle aged and old men.. you look like total crap to me too in case that thought had never occured to you. You look and act like shit. Shitter than any woman I've ever seen regardless of her style choices.
Yes, it used to happen a lot. Maybe there's small pieces of insecurity you have in the relationship that weirdly manifest in your dreams? I had it happen constantly, but it was with an abusive
ex that would highlight the good in other women to tear me down so I could become like them (and he did end up cheating lol). If you're not typically disrespected, it could be a comment here or there that throws you off, jealousy, or just your brain trying to find something wrong if the relationship is too good? I have dreams such as those with my current partner like, "see? He IS actually awful, don't trust him!" Brains are weird, don't let it stress you out and definitely don't take it out in him throughout the day. Find a distraction first thing in the morning after one of those dreams and the memory of it can fade a little.
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I wanted to go the beach today because I have a day off and I'm getting my period soon. But of course, this is the only day out of two weeks the weather decided to be shit. Why can't God let me have even the smallest of pleasures. On top of this, my wisdom tooth suddenly got inflamed 2 hours ago. Everything hurts, and tomorrow I'm back to work talking to customers for 8 hours.
>>827832>taste in clothes = lesbian
I keep reporting them but doesn’t seem like they’re getting punished because they keep doing it and it drives me crazy!!
Same, I just keep reporting them but nothing, or no redtext at least. Also the ones who post like this:>>827948
some dumb post
Just wanted to say I feel you anon and I'm sorry we both couldn't have more supportive parents, particularly fathers.
Neither of my parents helped me with my home due to our estranged relationships, if it weren't for my husband's help I would've been completely screwed.
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>wow it's been so nice this summer I might as well take a staycation and save my trip points for when it's shitty in fall
>forecast shows cold and rainy weather the entire week I've taken off
Sending good vibes your way, I have a staycation booked the first week of September and am scared of the same.
Let’s hope the forecast changes
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The literally ONLY board on 4chan that I could visit and have some fun at, is absolutely ruined. The last few days are nothing but a barrage of memes about how having gay sex with black males is not only totally not gay, but also something to be proud of. I can not deal with this anymore, if I have to read another anon's post about this shit I am going to lose my mind. Even sneed was better than this.
I know anon, I know, but this has been going on for almost a week now and I am at my wit's end, got I hate these idiots so much, but they are the only really fun place there any more. Thankfully the mods stopped the WHOLE catalog from being just buck breaking threads, but they still post it in every thread, repeatedly!>>828123
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Literally on their front page right now.
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No words. I am sick of this shit and his hamsters
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I feel exceptionally loved when foreign ladies at my job like me and get along with me well.
I've noticed older German coworkers tend to like me best. I think it's because I'm friendly/approachable, plus I'm not a backstabber and people can tell. Our newest hire who is an older German woman said she could tell I was the sweetheart of the office.
Warms my greasy burger heart.
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>feels insecure about my stupid fucking stomach and feeling bloated and fat
>was going to kind of starve myself today
>decided to order delicious food instead
I love to eat vegetables and complete meals but sometimes my brain doesn’t want that
probably not even healthy for me at all but I don’t give a shit anymore, this world isn’t healthy to be in
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This is all that there is to life. This is it. And I am wasting its entirety. Yes, even my youth. I will die alone, looking at a computer screen, distracting myself from my festering flesh about to die. This is all I do, it's just to avoid the reality i live in.
I have these short bursts of self-realization in between my massive hours of brainless scrolling that really hurt. At some point during the middle of the night, I'll get so tired, my eyes will completely glaze over the computer screen so that in a moment of dull clarity like a diamond shining in the rough I look at the lifeless computer screen and realize I've been looking at it for my whole life, essentially. Almost every waking moment in my life has been related, or involving a bright, cold screen. It is not my friend - a frind gives back what it takes. I give it my whole fucking life. It has given me nothing.
I want to quit this, just to see how rich life can be. How I can grow. I've grown to like l.c and all the other sites i visit, but it's literally an addiction. I don't think i can quit though. My life and personality is so, fucking, pathetically tied to staring at a screen like a brainless zombie imbecile.
Please, I just want out of this hellhole. I want to feel something. I feel like my ancestors would think twice about having kids if they knew this ungratefull useless bitch was just going to sit on her ass and do nothing for society for the rest of her life.
anon you should throw your computer in the trash. And your phone, destroy any connection to the internet. Look for work in a different town or city or even move to another country, there are always opportunities to relocate for work. Even if socializing is hard for you the fear and anxiety it will give you will make at least make you feel alive. There's always more to life, you just can't see it when your living in a box.
This is basically what I'm in the process of doing myself, I've wasted so much of my young adult life on the internet and it's starting to dawn on me how behind I am for my age. I really want to live and feel even if I just have a simple life. Anything is better than this.
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I'm sorry anon. For now it's okay to mourn it, but I hope you feel better soon.
here, have a fluffy cat
I think >>828419
is right anon. I genuinely like lc and some other communities too but the internet in general is addictive and can cause so much harm even as it offers many useful things. I'm pretty sure there are programs you can use to block your browser access for part of the day. Try little steps like spending even 15 minutes going outside for a walk now and then. Just be fully present in those moments. Take in the real world. Feel yourself existing naturally rather than staring at a screen. You don't have to be connecting all the time, you can turn this around.
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You'll find yourself again. I divorced my husband of 7 years about 2 years ago. Doing better than ever now. It's really hard at first but you're strong and eventually things have a way of leveling out. No pressure to get over it right away but try not to let the negative emotions overwhelm you either. Someone gave really good advice here a while ago and I saved the response. It was regarding an ex who was cruel and I'm not sure if yours was abusive
, but whether it was hurtful or amicable, she still had a great way of explaining how to weather the emotions. Hopefully it might help you too.
i think my fiance really is racist after all and i don't know what to do with myself…i remember him asking when we first started dating if i had a preference for white men or a fetish, which i was like wtf at, and then he said what about slavic men (he's polish) and i said i didn't care about the guy's race, like, he just happened to be white but i didn't go out of my way to get to know him because of it, and this upset him. I shook it off as him wanting to feel desirable and that was all. Looking back, it wasn't like i didn't compliment his looks. Now he's really gotten into talking about impregnation since a got my implant about a little more than a month ago but since around a week ago started saying racist things mixed in, like how he couldn't wait to "colonize" me, that he was going to "bleach" me, and would ask me to tell him i loved his bwc. I wish I was making this up, when told how that stuff dried me up he said he was just joking and that i am "mixed for a reason". I'm mestiza. I don't know if he was always like this or what has changed, i don't even know how to put into words what i'm feeling. We've been together 3 years and he NEVER showed any signs
Thank you nonny
, i would die for that kitty>>828462
Thank you for sharing your story. I really cant see the woods for the trees right now but im hopeful. The breakup was amicable, but so incredibly sad, as he was basically my family as mine are sort of estranged. He was very depressed however and i think he just stopped loving me. i never stopped loving him.
Thank you for sharing your advice too. It makes me feel a little hopeful.
Good thing you're only engaged and not married.
I couldn't even look my fiance in the eye again if he talked about wanting to "colonize" my body. That's so disgusting, and it sounds like he wants to baby trap you too. I've had exes who were really pissed off about my implant for the same reason, cause there was no way to tamper with it or pressure me to go off it easily so they could saddle me. Get out of there asap anon, he disguised who he was.
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this is 100% going to come off as a "I Am very Smart" moments. I promise I'm trying not to be obnoxious.
I just played Secret Hitler with a bunch of my bf's old college friends. I literally had big brain deductive reasoning and people observations but every time I said anything, they ignored me like literally ignored me. I'm annoyed by this because my boyfriend (who was Hitler) seemed to also kind of ignore me. He made no attempts to even reason or argue back with me (in the sense of the game, not irl), he'd just listen and move on to the next thing he wants to say.
I really hate men, you could literally be a rocket scientist and they'd still try to teach you something about it. They don't care if you are smart or making sense with a good theory. Your 1000IQ strat means nothing to them. Holy shit why are men like this.
To be fair, it's game night and everyone is probably tired or having drank something so i get it but still.
You played what now?>my boyfriend (who was Hitler)
This sentence is sending me
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IM SO DURNK AND I LOVE BIBBLE!!!!!!111
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This man that I've been talking to for a while lurks here… I just know it. I saw a meme he uses I rarely see outside of our conversations once in the troon thread and on C.C I don't want to bring it up because then he'll know I'm here and over there and will probably try to connect which posts are mine. Saging………….
It's really easy for women in Russia to turn into a FtMs, because living as a woman there is nothing but your worst nightmare. She shouldn't label herself like an idiot. She can always wear or do whatever she wants while still being a woman… I do not understand what's happening to people anymore with all of this gender shit. There are also LOTS of GNC / radfem communities on ru social media, even on twitter. Russia used to be dominated by gnc and radfem, NEETs and pickmes went 'libfem' and 'tranny uwu' mode only few years ago because they believe that anything that's from US is better than everything else.
These weirdos care about some american twitter dramas or 'someone being misgendered' instead of caring about actual problems in Russia, such as domestic abuse, victimhood, economics and more. RUSJWs are nothing but NEETs who leech off their parents money.
That's how most of the women feel in Russia (not counting the normie ones who are brainwashed by forced gender roles). It's okay to feel confused about it, but that doesn't make you a troon lmao. Just because you may not seem "normal" for not doing things such as makeup or dressing in skirts doesn't mean you are no longer a woman. Ive always been a "tomboy" type and did not give a shit about anything, even though people judged me a lot because they see women as nothing but pickme incubators.
Your friend needs to calm tf down and browse normal places, instead of hanging out around whatever gender special place she's spending her braincells in.>>828667
This. I always felt uncomfortable about the fact how hated women are in Russia (which of course would make people think that it's easier to be a man, when you'd still be treated as a woman regardless kek), with a mix of neverending gender stereotypes, but at one point you just need to grow up and stop giving a shit about what media and people are trying to brainwash yourself into. It doesn't make you less of a woman for not wanting to be 'feminine', and I genuinely hate over how people are trying to turn gnc, tomboys or just normal women into men even for basic shit such as liking blue colour and wearing pants (my irl friends new friends are convincing that she's a guy because she loves wearing checkered blue blouses and doesn't feel comfortable wearing skirts).
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I don’t understand why my friends insist on coming over to my apartment first before we hang out like? Why can’t we meet at the place like they do in sitcoms. It just irritates me because they always go through shit in my apartment and are always making snide remarks. Like bitch mind the business that pays you. Last weekend my friend came over (mind you I just moved in and it was messy so I was not expecting company because we were going to the park) she gonna be like “when are you gonna get a rug for the living room so it doesn’t look so industrial?l” like bitch when you buy me one tf. We didn’t even end up going to the park because she was too lazy to walk. So she just came over to judge and then leave. They also always be like “you pay too much for your apartment I only pay 1500 between me and my bf” well that’s because you live in bumfuck with your bf so you have the luxury of getting a 1 bedroom and splitting the cost I do not because I rent with my sister. When my friends do shit I’m just happy for them and I don’t make backhanded compliments but I’m getting fed up and will start to do the same.
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Cultural appropriation and damage to marginalized groups is real, I’m fucking tired of these so woke they’re asleep fake activists trying to protect shit like corporate tie ins under the guise of “muh culture”. Liking a boy band and chicken nuggets isn’t fucking culturally significant or distinct.
someone already asked in stupid questions, it was answered in one of m threads>>>/m/144538
mentioned in one of the old tradthot threads too
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Sorry but I seriously have to vent about this, I’m definitely not this big jug of spoiled milk but goddamn everything about this bitch seemed to ring alarms in my head while it didn’t to her unsuspecting kid fans and YouTube colleagues. The way she talks, the emotional immaturity, the false sense of superiority over other lolcows despite being one herself. This is peak white trailer trash behavior and I bet everyone where Shannon lives is just as fucking unhinged and psychotic that could make New York seem like a gated suburban community. I sincerely feel really bad for West Coast anons who live where she lives
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Monday and Tuesday are my next days off and then I have a 6 day workweek, followed by one day off and five more days on and I really wanna spend those two days off alone working on my hobbies but I feel obligated to go to my cousin's graduation party on Monday and also obligated to hang out with a friend who is moving away on Tuesday. I just want a fucking break from people ARRGGGH I miss being a NEET so much sometimes.
Im in my bed crying but reading the first line of this post made me laugh inside. thank you for sharing your hate anon
I feel like shit, like i want to fall through the floor into blackness. I just want to cry and feel sorry for myself but the other half of me is trying to tell me to get the fuck up and salvage whats left of today.
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I ordered delivery against better financial judgment just because I was too lazy to go out to eat or go buy groceries.
Now the delivery man is awol and late despite giving good instructions and I'm reeling. It wasn't worth delivery if it was just going to get lost and become more trouble than what it's worth.
Good grief I'm such a lazy dumbass but I get what I deserve tbh but I hate this so much.
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What the hell, this is bullshit.
>go with my parents to another country
>had to get into online classes
>my GPA starts looking amazing after flopping a lot at the previous career I picked
>platform is very old fashioned but it’s okay
>but It’s actually okay because i keep everything in my trusty cool and new laptop
>I also have a copy saved in my mom’s external disk
>because of the new platform, my final grade for one of the courses I’ve already seen isn’t appearing
>”Okay, i just have to wait for them to upload the grades, it always takes them a lot of time”
>remind the director that there’s an issue with one of my grades
>”don’t worry, anonita, we will solve this!”
>go on a trip to yurop with my family
>have fun, take my laptop with me so I can send my last homework and get myself into the new semester
>get my laptop and my mom’s external hard drive stolen with all of our baggage
>it’s actually okay because my teacher had my homework and grades saved
>after 3 years of bitching I get my grade
>it gets removed by the system
>teacher asks for the invoice of my inscription
>I have absolutely nothing because everything got stolen
>the administration needs it
>write a whole ass manifiesto with screenshots of the conversations I had with them because they forgot it was their own mistake
I hope the person that stole my shit gets an explosive diarrhea simultaneously with the flu and an hemorrhoid infested asshole.
I also hope the laptop i got stolen from me blows up in the middle of the house of the retard that has it now.
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I stopped drawing after my mom passed away 9 years ago and i miss it so much. I've been carrying around a little sketch book lately and drawing little doodles here and there. I think you can do it too, anon!
It feels frustrating to have wasted my small amount of talent, but it's never too late to pick it up again. You got this, anon!! Seriously, you do
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Of course it’s a worst time to post here when my retarded ass randomly clicks on a recent posts and sees a bunch of anons gushing about how “sm3xy” women are while I’m dealing with weird bouts of body insecurity that I haven’t had in months. Man sometimes I really think the hanging around women also isn’t as good as thought
hanging with women is good. Keep at it. Sometimes these threads are hard to read as someone who also deals with body insecurity. My face is good but my body is wrecked rn due to poor eating and depression atrophy lol. You’ll hear a lot more people bragging about how sexy they are than all the averages coming out to state that they are average.
Only a woman could read what u just wrote and come to the rescue. Scrotes would only try if they for some ulterior motive.
I really needed to read this stuff. I’m decent at drawing but my real passion is guitar. I’m never motivated nowadays.
Also, social media is a blessing and a curse. I used to post videos of me playing music, started a little following then took a “break” that has lasted two years.. now I feel too old at 27 to try to get back on SM like that again, even tho it’s my passion and I have literally no other plans for my life rn (I know I know, it’s sad)
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ik its a meme to hate these milennial white people baby names but holy shit my cousin just named her baby BRYNLEE and i am so fucking mad. what a stupid fucking name.
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i love that it's summer now but i always sweat so much in the face, especially when i'm working. i just started a new job, so it's kind of embaressing that i have to deal with this when i'm new there
i don't deal with sweat to that extend on the rest of my body, i don't even have to use deodorant, so why does my face have to look like a damn greaseball? i switched to a mattifying sunscreen recently and i've tried different sebum controlling powders but it doesn't matter, half an hour of work and i look like picrel
girl. Stay away as if ur life depended on it. I know u know this lol.
Were u hoping y’all might be on your way to a relationship or something? If so that’s disheartening af to hear some shit like that.
HAH. Yes you’re right. Donkeys bray (sp?)
I prevailed in the end and she has a cute not retarded name. Though it is also the name of a certain cowish celebrity and I hate when she’s compared to them.
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so many fuckin new fags from the creepshow art threads, just unholy amounts of twitter concentration there
My best friend of over a decade is now an enby, just like I suspected she'll become. She's not out, I just saw her pride pin thingy, and enbynism doesn't even make sense in our language grammatically, so I guess she'll keep it this way (except for social media maybe?). Surprised she went enby and not full FtM, since she's been spewing so much vitriol against women (Only As A Joke, Of Course!) for these past few months, but maybe this will come sooner or later, too. I'm really, really, really trying to be patient with her, because I know I did a complete 180° in my views just shortly after reaching my peak with handmaidening and misogyny, and I hope it will be the same case for her, too, especially since our views always started to align after some time, even if we initially disagreed. The more time passes though, the more I think this won't happen because a) I disliked males from the get-go, while she elevates them to a podest and b) my misogyny stuff was internalized with things like begrudgingly accepting my role as a pretty thing and incubator and maid, while she actively extends hers to the other women in her personal life. We have completely different starting points in these aspects, so I really don't think we'll come to the same conclusion like we always used to do. I'll give her time, but it hurts. oh god this got so long i'm so sorry
I'm the same way to an extent, and my own vent is that I kind of resent myself for only enjoying the company of my bf. I could hang out with him all day and not get tired of him but hanging out with friends zaps my social battery quickly. I get envious of other people who have very close friendships and love their friends even though I draw people in pretty easily and have had many opportunities to make friends. I had one best friend in high school but she was toxic
so I cut her off and I haven't had another close friend since.
>>829394>she was bi and left me and our kid for some 10 year younger dude she met on instagram
Wow that's such bullshit scrote tier behavior, I'm sorry you were deceived like this anon. It sounds like you're doing your best granted the situation. Is there any way you can gain more custody or was the divorce and custody situation settled 'amicably'? She sounds like a toxic
person to have around my child and that alone would scare the fuck out of me.
I knew a fake bi just like this, but fortunately she fucked off and finally married a scrote instead of continuing to break female hearts and third wheeling them in her weird but totes consensual poly situationships.
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>be in ring shaming group
>someone posts a marquise stone
>"HhaaaHHAAA VAGINA RING!!111!"
>people keep repeating this as a pejorative statement
>me, the person who doesn't see a problem with a shiny vaginy ring
It took me awhile to even realize that some meant it derogatorily and that they weren't just shitposting.
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They don't even really look like vaginas tbh. Also, what the hell is a ring shaming group, lmaoo
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I made friends with some scrote who said he was in an underground band I know of, I’m not a clout chaser or a groupie so even though I sometimes listen to the music from said band I don’t actually know who their real identities are. I didn’t care if he was in a band or not, they eat and shit like the rest of us, I treated him like I would any other human being and was so happy we had similar interests and got on so well… that was until I got suspicious things weren’t adding up and he got caught up in his web of lies after several weeks of talking.
>“I told a little white lie, anon, I am not in the band I said I was but I do make music and everything else I said was true I don’t want to jeopardise things because I like you”
Worst thing is I actually liked him too because he seemed he was a down to earth person I could shitpost with, we rarely ever even mentioned his “band”. Now I don’t know what to do, I just feel sick. It’s not the fact he isn’t in the band, it’s the fact he said he was. I want to smash his face in every time I think of how his stupid smug little face must have looked whilst telling me lie after lie and I was just lapping it up like a spicy R word. I cant even listen to that band anymore without thinking “kek remember that time you got catfished ya schmuck”
I hope you cut him off asap.
It's proof he'll lie when it suits him to and that doesn't for good friendship nor relationship material make.
tfw no abyssal coochie gf
how would that even taste
for the past two months everyone I care about is disappearing or ghosting me for no reason. I can hardly take it anymore. I haven't wanted to kill myself in years. my mother is drinking heavily and facing eviction because my father stopped supporting her, and my maternal grandfather died suddenly and left my grandma alone, she has dementia, my cousin stole all of their money, guns, and their accounts got shut down for fraud. the only person who has any income to support them is my uncle who just recently got put into a coma under mysterious circumstances. he was found unconscious and bleeding from the nose with a clear head wound, naked in his own home. he was out for days until a wellness check was called. I don't have a single family member left who isn't a complete psychopath. I can't support any of the half-decent ones I have left. I am currently between jobs, broke, and the only stable roommate and long term friend I have left is threatening to leave. I always get overworked into oblivion at jobs, and an old place I used to work at told me, literally, that they'd hire me and I had the position basically on the spot. it's been two weeks and I'm still being told they're waiting for some bullshit to clear HR.
about a month ago my then-partner wakes me up in the morning telling me she's going to kill herself because her ex got hit by a car, I spent about 7 and a half hours straight breaking down crying, begging and pleading, and desperately trying to get help for her until I realized it's impossible to call emergency services in a foreign country. I called every police station, number, international call sign and area code, I begged everyone I knew and posted for help, and then tells me I'm "making a scene" after she admitted she was using me to move on when I asked her why she could just leave me like that, when just days ago she tells me she's in it for the long term and not going to leave me and wants to stay forever, that her ex is firmly "in the past", when I originally had told her I don't even mind just having a trial relationship to see if she can be happy and get away and move on, and that I don't even need to date because we actually connected deeply, and would make good friends. she immediately cut me off and ignored me the second I expressed how I felt upset, and then blew it off like it was nothing. it's been like 4 weeks. how do people spend months and weeks of their life and all of their spare time attaching to someone just to blow it off like it's nothing. I feel like I am the only person who actually values anyone at all anymore.
just a few days ago I finally got to reconnect with the only person I've ever genuinely and seriously loved, completely adored and connected with on every important level, we talked for hours like we used to, after I apologized for everything I did wrong in the past relationship and we finally have some stability. I've realized I don't carry nearly as much baggage and handled a stupidly stressful and hurtful situation without being harsh or mean, and I am so glad because I can finally trust myself not get angry over unintended drama. I am so excited to have her be a part of my life again in whatever way possible, we talk for hours and later in the evening she tells me she needs to work, and tells me she'll be back and we can text or call each other, I say okay and that I'm waiting cause I am deeply alone and genuinely love this person with every part that's left of my heart and soul. we have fought and spent time apart for multiple years and always been able to reconnect or grow and not abandon each other, no matter how awful things got. And what happens? she suddenly deletes her only method of contacting me a day and a half later. completely without any reason or even a fucking goodbye. I cannot even ask her what happened. Am I being targeted? We didn't fight or do anything wrong to each other. she initiated most of the conversation, and, suggesting talking again later, just gets to disappear? Her ex-fiance would abandon her and stonewall the shit out of her, for YEARS, and here she is doing the exact same thing. No one believes me when I try to love or care for them. I can't even bring myself to move on because I completely see this person as my OTL and soulmate, and I would wait as long as it took if it meant being a part of her life and her happiness.
all I want in life is someone who will actually care about me. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm being told by people in entertainment industry to get into runway modelling while I still have what's left of my youth, I was born intelligent and I'm tested to be in the 130+ range of IQ, I'm the most caring and giving person I know of. I've achieved or overachieved nearly everything in life I've wanted to do. I've dreamed of helping people and being a therapist, I've taken in homeless people off the street, I donate money and try to help people who need it as much as I can, I've saved lives before, I've helped many people become successful and happy, I'm always emotionally supportive and try to be as understanding as possible. people tell me all the time I'm this amazing person and I'm so attractive and smart and kind and there's someone out there for me, and yadda-yadda. WHY AM I CONSTANTLY BEING TREATED LIKE DISPOSABLE FUCKING GARBAGE? I would be so happy and fulfilled in life, everything I've been through would be okay if just one reliable person would give a shit about me and not just torture me with my own happiness and abandon me the second they feel inclined with zero consideration for my feelings. I feel completely nauseated and sick and alone, I'm hollow and empty and I have nothing left in life, and anything I try to do is destined to fail. I feel like I'm living in hell. I have no purpose being alive anymore and all I have to look forward to is more misery and emptiness and abandonment. all I want is one person who will actually be there with me in my life
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I need to leave my job. We changed management three months ago and the new GM is horrible. Just rude and unprofessional. I felt singled out since he cut my hours and refused to listen to me. I took a 10 minute break today during a 6 hour shift and he literally came to get me and yell at my in the office for not 'doing my job.' i'm exhausted. I hate this man. there's no reasoning.
I'm going to call HR tomorrow. For now, I cant wait until that place burns down (because everyone else is also quitting)
I quoted you anon because it started this vent but it's not directed at you specifically, I've just seen a lot of posts like this and need to vent too. Yes, once you turn 30 you are no longer allowed to do things just because you enjoy them. Everything you do must be a contribution to society. The only thing left for you is to cook meals, do laundry, and make babies. From 30-80, you are forbidden to try new things or discover new passions. Heaven forbid you do anything you did before you turned 30. You've wasted your life and now it's time to spend the next 50+ years dying and suffering. Do you really believe this? Life doesn't end at 30. You have plenty of time to fuck around. It drives me nuts how many women were memed into believing that it's game over once you hit some magic age number like 25 or 30. This isn't fucking medieval times, some people live over 100 years but we're supposed to give up on fun and dorkiness when we hit 30? Please. Work should be something that funds your fun. You still have plenty of time to explore your passions and interests. You can make time, even if it's just a few minutes a day, trust me you have the time if you look for it. Fuck, if you don't keep having fun and learning and trying new things for the next 30 years what the hell will you do when you're ready to retire? Just sit around with your thumb up your butt like you did back when you decided to give up on life 30 years ago? Who cares if it never becomes anything or makes money, at least you spent your time doing something. If you give up now you're going to become the most boring fart of a person. Do something cringe and childish, try a billion new things and suck at all of them, you got one shot at this shit and you're going to spend it dreading 30 and waiting to die when you could be living?
NTAYRT but I was just coming here to vent about this. I AM that 'cringy woman over 30 who still talks about her OCs' but shit sucks because I can't find anybody sane to talk about my shit with. I just want to hang with people my age who love creating and writing, but they're fucking impossible to find because 30 is somehow middle-aged and a sin to be enjoying anything that isn't some boomer-tier hobby.
Shit sucks because I also do art but have never wanted to get into the industry. But there are no hobbyists my age who are just normal, rational people. The only place of refuge I've found for sane people (especially women, and 30+ women who don't buy in to all the gender bullshit) is literally fanfiction.
I would love it if I could somehow just find a chill group of like-minded ladies that love to do shit like make props/outfits for cosplay, or write fanfic, or RP, or just fucking write and draw their own content for comics or whatever. It's feels so impossible and I hate being around terminally online kids in the arts, they're insufferable.
Babe please just organize a meet for local 30+ women (or whatever age you want to draw the line) who love fanfiction, roleplay, cosplay, etc. I'm sure there are others near you who feel the same way, who think they're alone, who would be ecstatic to discover there are like-minded people around them. You don't have to do anything fancy, meet for lunch or book a room at a public library or something, come up with a few topics or activities you could do if you need to break the ice, that's all there is to it. Sure, you may meet some weirdos but with a bit of luck and persistence you're sure to find some people you vibe with. My childhood friend is a RP fanatic, and she was about to give up on it because she had no one to really share her hobby with irl. She was always welcome to talk to me about it ofc but since it's something I couldn't get into it felt very one-sided to her and she wanted more. She started organizing meets in her area and now has a bunch of friends to rp with and share writing with each other. Yes she had to deal with munchies and gender specials in order to find those people, but what's a few days of discomfort in exchange for long-term friendships? You don't have to keep meeting with people you don't like once you get what you need out of it, just pass the torch onto one of them so they can find their crew. You can do it nonna! Someone has to start it, why not you?
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I’m descending into madness and there’s nothing you or anyone can stop me.
I completely respect myself and have expectations I put on other people for reasonably equal treatment. when there are problems I talk about them and I tell them when they're doing something wrong. I've physically kicked out people who were uninvited or overstaying, and called the police before, I've used guns, I'm not a stranger to self defense. I'm talking mostly about relationships. I don't really have a problem with anyone else.
I don't expect 100% of the charity I give, I just expect someone to see a valuable person who cares about them and actually treat them properly. Many of these people were also big givers and similar in terms of kindness, they had gone through similar problems and face being taken for granted or used and abused by people around them. I don't have 'good' family, actually I don't have any real family left, at all. By half-decent I mean decent only half the time or they're messed up severely in certain ways.
How is anyone happy in a relationship if no one is looking out for each other? Seriously? I look out for myself all the time, it's not hard. I was not always a good person. How can people even have functioning relationships if no one is actually caring for each other?
What were your experiences like? Would you like to talk more? I could use someone who 'gets it'.
My issues came mostly from having no boundaries and being a doormat, so I think our situations are different.
I'm just throwing ideas out there, but lots of people have been acting weird during the pandemic, ghosting is a trend now. Maybe the ppl you care for have very low self esteem/abused mentality of "no one will ever love it" and get scared of love/attention?
Maybe they just want to completely erase it from their memory, when I had those tendancies I was so embarrased that someone knew me personally that I never wanted to contact them again, because I was so ashamed of myself & being vulnerable.
What do you mean by doormat tendencies? Like do extra stuff for ppl without being asked?
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My friend has eaten herself into near immobility and it's making me frustrated. I try to have empathy for her since she's very depressed and unfulfilled in her life but I've started resenting her. It inconveniences me heavily since I end up having to always accommodate for her. We can't do anything fun together. She can't sit on my furniture without it breaking so I always come to her. I feel like half the time we talk she is just complaining about her body hurting and how fatphobic society is and I just feel myself biting my tongue. I really am trying my absolute best to have compassion but the anger keeps coming up. I want to just scream at her to either lose weight or never complain about what she has done to herself again and live with the consequences. Of course the deepest feeling I have is this anxiety about her health, that she's at a state where she could honestly die. It makes my blood boil when she talks about how it's "fatphobic" to worry about an obese persons health. It just completely undermines my absolutely real feelings about her and silences me for her own comfort. I'm trying so hard to be patient.
NTA but I've been thinking about setting up a meetup group for creative writing in my city forever but I'm a very shy and awkward person so I'm worried I will fuck this up. I so want to meet other wannabe authors irl!! im nearing 30 too
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I loathe my job so, so much but it's the only job I've ever had with a decent pay. I've been looking for a better option so I can quit before stress kills me but I live in a shitty country so this is as good as it gets.
I finally can pay all my bills and pamper myself every now and then, I can even help my folks out a little but I'm absolutely miserable. I work fucking 13+ hours per day just to be able to catch up with all the tasks I'm assigned, I can almost never take my breakfast/lunch hours, I have to speak in English 24/7 and do everything I can to hide my accent just so I don't get shit for it. Thanks to that I'm always in a constant state of stress and just generally exhausted. Lately I keep praying I will get a fucking heart attack while I'm sleeping and I'm genuinely disappointed when I wake up.
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I think I've known I was gay since I was like 14. I'm 29 years old now and I still struggle to accept it. I'm not sure if I ever will, even though I know deep in my heart I could never truly love or be with a man. I wish I was asexual, I'd feel more normal and less like an abomination.
I get you. It’s super hard being bombarded with success cases under 30, and being surrounded by people who succeeded in the normie way (relationships, marriage, high paying career and babies) and are rooted and occupied and uninterested in any fun nerdy shit. I think where I live isn’t helping (youth and image obsessed SoCal) doesn’t help either.
I’m constantly thinking of all the creative writing and stuff I want to do and as much as I logically understand I can do all these things past 30, I feel like I’ve waited too long and I never will, I’ll always be planning on doing something and then getting more tired and busy with my uninspiring job, I wish I’d completed something in my 20s but I was working nonstop to survive. Dunno, I just seem to enjoy art less and have no inspiration at 30. I wanna give up and resign myself to my fate.
you don't always have to do it alone, honestly having someone who can help you struggle through and progress is one of the healthiest and healing things. at least in my own experience. if nothing else, you have someone you can fall back on and support and understand you. if you want I'm here for you.>>829809
anytime, if you want to talk and vent or distract yourself I'm here and available I am also running 100% off e-hugs due to the pandemic>>829810
ah, sure I'd love to. I dunno where to talk to you though, do you have a preference?
I wish I could pay someone to do some of my work, but all of my friends have better jobs than me so they wouldn't do it. When I was a student with days to waste I would have loved a set up like this though, this sounds exploitative but I need to find a broke student who will do an hour's work for beer money kek
Nta but if you both put a temp email address you can use that to then verify your real email addresses or discord handles to each other
I recommend you don't start talking on your main social media accounts for a while because it will be awkward if one of you does turn out to be a total handful. Speaking from experience.
I knew a guy who worked in finance who hired people from overseas to do jobs for him. For a rate he felt was worth it he could get graduates in various places in Asia to do things.
The downside is that it often takes time to explain a task adequately to get it done right and you have to manage them.
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I bought a d-ring belt online (not picrel but same kind of belt) but it only has a pattern on one side, the other side in plain black. so when you thread it through the d-ring itself it's just the plain back of the belt without the design. who designed this? did they not consider this? frigging idiots. I want my money back but it was ebay… I think the seller sold it for this reason tbh
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try this, nonnie
. I use it every day and it helps a lot. I don't have that dry, flaky, itchy feeling anymore and my skin glows! it's not red and splotchy anymore. truly a miracle product
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I’m only 18 and I’m seriously considering becoming a stripper because my last job that I recently quit really left a mental toll on me and always has me wondering if it’ll be the same thing with every job I manage to get in the future (if I even get one). What if it doesn’t get better and I just end up homeless and with no money, it just seems like it’s going down that bad and there’s no way to control it at all because it’s fate.
bitch do you really think CATERING TO SCROTES is going to be less of a mental toll than dealing with customers? get a grip and don't let this become your life
grats on the 830000 get btw
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Oh yeah, I use lotion and seal the moisture in with aquaphor multiple times a day and use prescription steroid creams once in a while too. My skin is just a fucking wreck for like no reason. The idea of someone stepping out of the shower and not using lotion makes me feel like I'll faint, I don't think I'd be here if I wasn't sliding in lotion 24/7 >>829954
Thank you for the suggestion anon, I'll check it out next time I go for my skin cream-hoarding trip kek. It looks nice and thick and has oatmeal which is good
fenugreek will make your BO / Sweat smell a bit more pleasant.
Apparently they don't really sell deodorant the way we think about it in US/Europe. its meant to go on while your sweating not preemptively. thats just what i remember from a while ago, i might be wrong.
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I've been going through a certain legal process that impacts my life in a very, very major way for approximately seven years.
Today I get a message from the bureau that handles these issues that I never needed to go through any of these issues after all, due to certain rights I have, and could have resolved them in 2018, had they informed me that I had these rights in the first place.
I've paid thousands in administrative fees just to be told I never needed any of the clownery I'd been dealing with. If only they'd let me know what my rights were back in 2018, I could've been a free bird.
Words cannot express how much I want to punch walls right now.
lmao anon are you me? I have constant diarrhea for half a year now because of IBS/anxiety combo.
I'm quite sure that most people develop IBS because of mental/emotional problems btw.
I was feeling like shit, at least I'm not alone on this thanks for sharing anon. I've been suffering of pretty hardcore mental breakdowns, just yesterday my sister had to calm me down because I was literally roaring like a batshit dog and hitting things/making weird movements, it makes sense my ibs was triggered
. Doctors only suggested
I could be bipolar so i don't know what the fuck is going on with me anymore.
There's one way I want to end up dead, I've already planned that out in my head. If it happens, it happens, it's very unlikely it'll happen. I don't want to feel like I accomplished nothing in life, I want one thing I scratch off my bucket list before I die to be the thing that finally pushes me to say I don't need to live anymore.
At least one thing off my bucket list and then I can have a right to kill myself, is what I keep saying. Until then I don't feel like I'm entitled to, or that I deserve that one thing before I die to bait me into living.
If I don't end up having what I want happen, I'll probably commit suicide. If I don't have a career, life, or family by 35, and become an irrefutable loser in life, then I will die. Its years away, I'm still thinking about it.
I'm honestly giving myself two years max with the way things are going. 35 is a ten year away fever dream.
can't stand to be alone anymore. I constantly am alone. Even when people are around me. I can't stand being frustrated and angry. Everytime I lose something it's like my bipolar ass kicks into overdrive and I revert to doomer mode. I've tried to undo the cycle, it's useless. I have tried channeling my anguish into projects, make my agony beautiful, it never suffices. I can never finish anything, and that is why I doom myself to the idea of failure.
I will never be happy, my life is an endless collection of using things and people to fill the empty space where my soul is supposed to be. I feel like a burden.
If I don't find a fulfilling purpose in my life in the next two years, if not earlier than that, or fate doesn't hand me the right cards and let me do what I want that will enable me to kill myself, then I'm going to kill myself when all else fails. I know no one will really miss me, and I will no longer be a liability. by the time it's over and done there won't be anyone left to care.
Isn't it sad that you've already doomed yourself to an idea even though you could try and aim for self improvement and stray from failure? I'm in such a bad place, I don't feel like I can do this anymore. And then people are like "why don't you just end it now?". Because that teeny granule of happiness in the gaping wound that is my existence says that I should hold out for some miracle? Fuck my small hint of optimism.
When my mom had cancer she cried to me because her friend had just discovered the book 'the secret' and she blamed my mom's cancer on her own negative attitude.. said she had manifested it and she basically manifest it away again, like damn. Positive thinking is cool if you find some help in it but sometimes you just need to feel your feelings ..all of them. And to talk about them and feel heard. Some people take positivity too far and it becomes denial.
Pretty sure I've seen you post before, sorry this is so ongoing for you. Cancer's a stubborn dick.
Thank you, nonny
. The positivity stuff is a very pervasive line of thought, unfortunately. The people I've spoke to when getting radiotherapy have mentioned similar situations like what your mom dealt with (glad it sounds like your mom is better), idk how it's 2021 and people still think that being fucking moody can literally kill you. Positivity is good, don't get me wrong. I was lashing out in anger in that vent but some of that stuff does
help get me through the day. It's just.. exhausting sometimes. You probably have seen me post before, there is another anon with similar issues though, cancer bitch if you're reading this ily ♥
I relate to what you're going through so much. hope is always the one thread tying you down and keeping you in waves of misery. sometimes it's complete torture and other times it's the last grain of truth leftover when your depression is consuming you utterly and it's impossible to tell. I think it is reasonable to want to try your hand at life and give it your best shot before giving up. I don't know your life but depression will convince you that you don't matter to anyone. I've lost many friends to suicide this way and people grieve, hard. It is not sad to doom yourself but it is sad that you don't have anyone you feel connected to. It is tragic you're feeling what you're feeling and have no other course. I beat my depression some years ago and I've still not truly found happiness in life, but the misery has faded over time. Have you been diagnosed as bipolar? anti-psychotics and other mood stabilizers can help immensely, especially if it's not an external source of misery. You are incredibly strong and stalwart to make it this far and have this much resilience in the face of your suffering. depression is the worst thing anyone can go through, it ruins every aspect of a functioning and happy, motivated life. you are very, very strong to be making it this far and even if you do not fully achieve your goal always remember that. I think loneliness is the worst part of suffering, especially loneliness in the company of others. Do you think you could be happier with better people? Someone who understands you and respects you? Someone who cares?
No one should be telling you to end it now, they should be encouraging you and giving you what you need in life. These people sound uncaring and abusive
. I've met and helped a lot of people in life, the ones who succeed despite the circumstances and suffering, and I've seen many who have finalized their life. You don't strike me as someone who is going to fail, non. You may be cursing this last shred of optimism but I think it's there because you may be too intelligent and strong for your life and your suffering to beat you. You may not like it, and I surely did not like my own, I hated it to my core. The happiest and most relieved I've felt was when I was dying from a suicide attempt. It feels weightless and comforting, like a sleep that repairs all of your life and soul, as if everything you've ever felt is evaporating through your skin and out of the weighty hole in your chest. I'm still alive, obviously so you can guess it didn't go as planned. I do have to say that over the years I've finally slowly forgotten most of the pain and the lows I feel now are nothing comparatively. Life does not always get better, but we do get stronger with time. I know that sounds like a platitude, and I would never minimize your suffering. I know many people, too, who have gotten a handle on their life after going through it all. for what it's worth, if you want to talk, vent or any advice I'm here if you want.
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>people can ship whoever they want!!!
oh anon if only you knew how much of a degenerate you are. your brain has literally turned into coomer, dopamine-seeking mush looking for the next high. god bless you honey hope you make it out of your struggle alive.
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People shipping anything and everything + hyperfixation on sex & everyone beyond gay is weird as fuck, I’m not a pearlclutcher but what’s going on with this generation
I despise how everything has turned into an identity.>likes tomatoes>oh so you’re a tommaloev!>likes shipping a character with another character >this is muh comfort ship1!!1!>likes a random character >I’m literally this character!!>likes a random person>I’m literally this person!!
How is that not alarming at all?
, ive been there. it sucks but sometimes those bad coping mechanisms reel you back in. dont blame yourself or be angry with yourself, youre probably under too much stress to be able to figure out a better way to cope. you can move on from this and find a better way to cope. i believe in you!
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Some choice snippets an artist I (used to) follow proudly shared to her story of her "calling out an art nonblack"… I don't think I need to explain why I'm posting this here.
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I wish people would stop telling me I look so much like someone they know or saw. I know they don't mean it to be offensive but it kinda hurts knowing that I probably just look very generic lol.
Shit like this is what sets us back 50 years and causes people not to take actual anti-blackness seriously.
"There are black asians" there are tribes in Philippines, Malaysia and Indonesia who have similar features to west africans but guess what? They dont claim to be the same as you, they're not culturally, linguistically or genetically the same as you. These hoteps love to claim EVERYONE is black, including melanesians. "Blackness" and "whiteness" are both just concepts that people can't agree on like are Kurdish people with blonde hair and blue eyes considered "white"? Are aboriginal Australians "black"?
Which brings me to another vent; most people who "study" anthropology are usually racist asf who parrot terms that are outdated from an old European guy from the 1800s who decided to name all of the people with the same skull type after a region called Caucasus, "caucasian" never originally meant white. Armenians, chechens , dagestanis and Georgians are the true caucasian. We need to stop thinking the whole world views race the same as Americans do.
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it's just fun, that's all there is to it. I don't understand the issue (assuming we're talking about lc, not social media). Also it happened in previous generations too.
I'm bipolar and bpd and I've considered going on antipsychotics, I just need to get into the psychiatrist again to talk about it. Antidepressants weren't helping anymore, they'd waned in effectiveness after years of usage, antipsychotics might be the next best thing. Am already on a mood stabilizer. I upped the dosage of my mood stabilizer during covid in hopes it would help, then I had a wave of shit drown me in my personal life. Whenever it happens it's me trying not to be submerged in my own misery
I think I would be happier with better people, but I need to find them first. I have to move away from my family for sure, I know they're part of the main drive of my misery.
My last real attempt felt like I was actually going to die, and it was not pretty. While part of it felt enlightening, there was a state of horrific despondency. I hallucinated everything around me was happening as usual in a different setting as I lay trying to deal with the concoction of drugs in my system, and there was something so cutting about the standstill. Then I fell asleep, had some horrible nightmares, and woke up with the urge to puke. Somehow the worst overdose I'd had, didn't need my stomach pumped, just a terrible trip. I've self harmed multiple times since. I think the problem is that I fear death as much as I say I want to embrace it, but life is so painful that sometimes I wish death came to me incidentally. So I wouldn't have to force it.
I want to believe one day I'll find my purpose, right now is not an ideal time to. Right now I am in pure existential crisis mode. And manifesting. Lots of manifesting that things will improve. I hate this so fricking much
Thank you for reading such an unyielding and sad post and responding so cohesively, I'm glad that you've beat out your depression and are coping, anon. I'm sorry I see an end, not really a solution, to my problems, maybe one day I will be happy enough to live for myself, and not hate myself
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>barely eat all day because stomach aches + diarrhea
>finally a fucking meal at the end of the day
>oh boy this'll be–
>shit it all out in liquid form after only eating 1/3rd
borderline personality disorder really complicates things and having the other bpd on top of that makes it even harder, I am truly sorry for you farmer. the current state of psychiatric medicine is deeply flawed.
If you want a new e-friend let me know. I kinda suspected you didn't have a good home life. between what's already been given to you and your family I can't imagine you're being treated particularly well. try not to think of right now as the "I should be here, living my goals" time of your life, that is ridiculous and absurd to expect of yourself. You need to understand yourself as someone who is fighting a much harder battle than others. You have your own life problems to deal with and conquer first before you can even begin to start worrying over your success in life. It simply isn't fair to think that way, you are being far too hard on yourself.
Did you have an NDE? I've had one before and it was kinda similar to what you're describing. They're fascinating and also terrifying beyond words, like a dream that feels real in a way dreams do not. It is normal to fear death even when you're seeking it and are so distraught over life you can't go on. I haven't met or heard of anyone who truly did not fear death when faced by it. It's a subconscious and primal thing to fear death even if you'd rather be dead. Incidental death is always the big dream isn't it? No having to worry, mustering up the courage and motivation to actually end it, or suffer through failed attempts.
I think you will find your purpose when you've cleared yourself from the nightmare you're living in, farmer. It's a step-by-step process. You can't grow in the same environment that makes you want to die. I can help you in a lot of ways if you are willing, and the whole thing is entirely up to you, if you want. I feel your pain and I've experienced everything you've said first hand, even the overdosing.
Honestly? It's my pleasure. I'm always happy(I can't think of a better word, fulfilled maybe) to listen and share advice and stories and give honest sympathy and attention. I'd be really happy to talk with you more, if you'd like. we can exchange contacts if you want.
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there, there, nonny
. everything will be ok.
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just realized that I took my birth control in the wrong order so the last time my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex and he came inside me twice I was actually taking sugar pills
Plan B now anon. Go to the pharmacy. It's really easy to obtain. At least in my country. Don't wait. Do it now.
Don't believe the people who say pregnancy doesn't happen that easily blahblahblah. It only takes one time
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I hate people like this. Why the fuck are they trying to get us involved in the fucking Israel Palestine war? Nobody cares what side you are oh you fucking retards. I’m not joking I hope they all die.https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-57466196
My best friends' long-distance boyfriend tried to commit suicide last night because she broke up with him. I'm quite familiar with depression and suicidal thoughts myself but I'm so on the fence when it comes to seeing what he did as a cry for help or as attention seeking, even though I usually disagree with people who claim that suicide is selfish because these people are obviously not in a clear state of mind to truly realise and care about the repercussions when they do it.
I tried to talk him down the entire afternoon, telling him to ask a friend to come over when shit hits the fan and when he feels like he can't take it anymore because there is absolutely nothing I can do for him (except for texting but he expects me to be on my phone 24/7 when he's feeling down). Around 11 pm I told him that I have to sleep because of work and around 2 am I was woken up by countless messages he sent me while trying to commit suicide. Idk if I should feel sympathetic but I'm just pissed because I was worried sick and haven't slept at all even though he promised he wouldn't try to kill himself. Yeah I know, it's more complicated than that but what the fuck else was I supposed to do.
I talked to my best friend today and she told me that he went on a frenzy last night, sending these messages and self harm pics to everyone he knew. She also told me that she already wanted to break up last year, but he constantly threatened suicide and told her that she'd be responsible for it. I'm just so damn angry with him because this sort of manipulation is absolutely not okay and made me lose every ounce of sympathy I had for him.
I realise that sometimes people with depression will try to reach out to someone but texting him whenever he was in a rut was so damn draining because I have my own shit to deal with and can't play therapist whenever he wants it. I guess I was also too scared to be seen as an asshole if I brushed him off because dude was a ticking time bomb. I get that people with depression are often misunderstood and stigmatized, and I can relate to that quite often, but you have to make the first step to pull yourself out of this. It was like talking to a wall. For months.
He just texted me that he's doing fine now, that he realised that there's so much to still live for and yada yada but I'm so done with all of this. Idc if this makes me look like an asshole but I ended up blocking him because I have absolutely no time to try and help someone who doesn't even want to help themselves anymore. I shouldn't have been such a pushover in the first place but I was always on edge, worried that I would "fail" him when he needs someone, if that makes sense? Because after someone commits suicide, you keep asking yourself if there's anything you could've done to prevent it or if you didn't try hard enough. Sorry for that wall of text but I really had to get that out.
What the actual fuck? That scrote is bad news. Fucking shame that his BPD ass didn’t actually complete suicide, if he even honestly attempted, because he is a manipulative, emotionally abusive
piece of dog shit. You shouldn’t have exhausted empathy and emotional labor on him. He never intended to listen. Some people wield their “depression” as a weapon and it’s so effective, why would they ever change? You just have to step away. Women are too socialized to get all bleeding hearts over broken men. You and your friend need to cut him off forever.
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Is that you, Hockey anon? I get off to one RP slash fic every time you post btw
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And this is what we get from promoting this shit in mainstream media. These women are cheering on a literal toddler twerking in the middle of NYC
God, I hate these bimbo caked-in-makeup women who are trying to sell mindless sluttery to women. I understand we’re all victims
of the patriarchy or whatever, but these bitches are genuinely so harmful for young women to look up. Sickening.
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Apparently they drive around in a bus twerking all over Los Angeles to promote this song. Honestly LA is hell on earth and I wish it was swallowed back into the ground.
I actually don't hate this, I know at the end of the day it's still a twerking music video but the way they filmed it with it being a nightmare fever dream of a man being scared by oversexed women is funny to me
I hate the ending with the mouth thing, to me that feels like a put down about pussies, but maybe I'm missing the point. It's nice to see something a little bit different from the usual twerking video
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>>830698>not age restricted
This shit is so normalized now and I hate it. This oversexualization of women in the media everywhere is getting worse every single day and a certain kind of woman is definitely the main proprietor of it.
I just want to vomit seeing this. It has trannies in the music video too. Guys, this is what feminists fought for. This is what the feminist movement is all about. It's not really about women being treated as independent, full-rounded human beings. It's about shaking ass. And if you say anything differently, it's because you're a misogynist, you see.(avatarfagging)
You're being facetious but you know too that men actually are afraid of women who own and wield their own sexualities or at least they hate them, it's the Madonna whore complex
I know that doesn't remove the fact that it's a tits and ass video, but things aren't always just made of one single take away concept
Imagine trying to read a deeper meaning into a tits-and-ass softcore porn music video.
You are literally buying into the "this is female empowerment" meme. Cringe.
>>830804>Acknowledge this is another softcore porn video but that think it's funny to see the man running scared from the hypersexy twerk cryptids>State it's still a tits and ass video in every single post
And yet>You are literally buying into the "this is female empowerment" meme.
I've never said this video was some empowering iconic moment just that I liked something in it, and in a separate comment that men are scared/hate women who have control of their own sexuality.
I didn't realise we aren't allowed to enjoy things on the bad problematic
nono media list. What is this complete black and white thinking, have I accidentally posted on Twitter?
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The worst part about the creeps how art thing is that now many normies are being exposed to lolcow, it was bad enough with the pull users, cows coming here to defend demselves, and 4channers coming now and then, and now this
I’m glad we autists can be of help, nonnie
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vent thread has been officially ruined, all of the celebricow sperging should be gatekeeped into its specific detainment thread. go there to whine about sexy billion dollar bread and circus music videos or shut the fuck up, lolcow isn’t going to shut down the patriarchy and magically make men wash their ass and be civilized, ugh go away(rule 7)
too. Pronounce the lol you fucking twats! And stop namedropping the site good lord
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start with someone else first
Is this just bait when >>830940
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so many newfags….making this place a living nightmare…
i stopped wanting to buy myself clothes cause i feel like a beached whale
Don't feel bad anon, a lot of people gained weight during this period.
You'll be moving around more, so the pounds will surely go down.
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>she's a they/them nonbinary
>but she also makes me blush and feel weird and autistic
i hate this
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If I think about all the horrible shit going on in the world I'm going to spiral, better to just ignore it. Are the good things in life even worth it compared to the bad?
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I just cheated on my diet, and I feel like such a failure. It was just one of those fiber one brownies, so I didn't fuck up the entire thing, but I still feel like shit for it. I feel like I will never have good self control. This diet shouldn't even be hard for me. I'm going to try and move forward and ignore that this happened, but that brownie wasn't worth it at all.
anon, the fuck? he threatened to hit you?
like, i know people say shit they don't mean when they get mad but wishing you'd vanish and threatening to hit you sounds UBER abusive
. get rid of this asshat.
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Anon I know it’s not easy but sooner or later you’re gonna have to think out a plan for yourself. It’s probably gonna be painful and difficult but it will be worth it in the end. There’s help out there.