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File: 1458008793645.jpg (129.31 KB, 1000x605, cold-air-return-vent.jpg)

No. 80845

How about a good old Feels/Vent thread about whatever the fuck you want.

Previous thread >>37152
Let's scream into the abyss about our problems and try to help each other where we can.

No. 80846

>>80845
I want to vent about this site. I feel like there's a lot of negativity growing, I miss the good feels and good vibes. I'm sick of race arguments in every thread, of people making a response just to say "what" or "k".

It's making threads not fun to read. Not comfy. Derailing arguments that go on for 30 posts, unfunny shitposts and people misunderstanding the OP make many threads unreadable.

No. 80847

A few days ago a man grabbed my arm on the street and said "I could just take you inside and fuck you against a wall with no one there to hear you scream"
I just made him let go of my arm and crossed the street. Like it was obvious he was mentally not well in the way he said it- I felt so weird because I wasn't as afraid as I should have been. But now it's getting to me and I'm always nervous being alone outside and that is making me annoyed at myself

No. 80853

>>80847
this is why you need pepper spray

go for the eyes next time

No. 80854

Literally was just triggered by instagram and feel pathetic. I freaked out a few days ago because I looked at an account that had liked one of my selfies, and the tiny userpic looked a bit like an abusive ex that I still have nightmares about, but I managed to reassure myself that it was just someone with a similar haircut. It happened again this week and I've just spent an hour having a panic attack while examining every detail of their cat photos (the only content) and getting a mutual to confirm my ex doesn't own a cat.
Reading that it isn't them got me back to earth, but now I just feel disgusted at myself and pathetic for thinking that I would still be of any interest to that bastard. I feel ashamed for thinking I could be an obsession even of a creep, and lame for having an anxiety attack just because of instagram. In any case that account is skeevy and I'm blocking it, it's only following a mix of teen kawaii bloggers and extreme ageplay porn.

>>80846
Same, I don't understand where all this /pol/ stuff has even come from

No. 80855

>>80845

In light of the Ginger Bronson thread, but also just in general, I cannot fucking stand well-to-do or even just plain middle class kids playing at being working class or skint because they've got some bullshit aesthetic or something. Idk man, you see it with people like fucking Jarvis Cocker all the time. Common people my arse. Come and see me up at the job centre, Cocker, then tell me about how much you know about how "everybody hates a tourist".
>inb4 poorfag

No. 80872

I'm going to fail my management final tomorrow. I guess I feel ambivalent. I failed my midterm because some stupid bitch decided to sit next to the empty seat next to me at the last second and she distracted me the entire time. I didn't even finish my exam. But I guess that's college: huge lecture rooms with 200 students.

No. 80875

I'm truly lower class trash and always will be. I have no idea what half of office workers even do. I go to shitty bars and work a shit job and I don't even have the time to contemplate changing that.
I'm so jealous that other people get to browse the internet most of the day and get paid 3x as much as me, have vacations and sick days and whatever else. While I work my ass off all day and I'm allowed zero downtime, "social" chatting is banned and so is having a cellphone. I just hate my life and even if I had the time to study without ending up homeless, I'm probably too stupid and inept to succeed.

No. 80876

I'm not smart enough to be Real Fucking Smart genius level but I'm above the average enough to notice how good I am, and resent the fact that it's not good enough.

It would be far better to just be as dumb as everyone else. As it is, I feel as if I SHOULD be as good as actually smart people, but I fail at it. They expect me to understand things that I cannot understand, I'm a fucking fraud.

Or maybe I'm just asking for too much. I'm a 21 yo who just got into college, comparing herself to people who've completed their degrees, people who are over six years older than me, people who've taught for over twenty years… I don't know. It's hard not to feel discouraged.

No. 80884

I worked my second ever job. It was an event job at a convention center and I nearly buckled under the stress multiple times. I'm a diagnosed and tried true autist and fuck me I feel like I will never even be able to work 25-30 hours a week even. I'm 20

No. 80886

If I was the way I am when drunk, my life would be better. Hey look I can talk and not feel anxiety! Hell I actually like people! And don't need to think to choose my words, they just flow AND they still make sense! Wow. I'm in a good mood too! And maybe motivated! If I was normaly like this, I wouldn't be the dumb, rotting piece of shit I am right now. But one night is not enough, so tomorrow I'm going to wake up and go back to the same old way I've always been. Hahaha what a fucking joke. :)

No. 80888

>>80884

Why not get autismbux?

No. 80891

>>80884

I know that feel. Had to skip out on a Sainsbury's job because the 4-day induction (I was told TWO days, don't fuck with me J. Sainsbury, I'm spasticus autisticus and I need time to process these things) was overwhelming. Hope you're feeling less overloaded now, it's horrible.

No. 80893

File: 1458031889083.jpg (328.54 KB, 838x573, How-to-Handle-a-Cyberstalker.j…)

I feel void of personality. I have no defining traits or hobbies. I've isolated myself so much growing up (still do), and I think the toll its taken on me really shows.

I'm worried because I've developed a really bad habit of stalking people online. People I've never interacted with. I've come across them through various forums and sites while browsing. I guess I do it because I find their personalities interesting or admirable. I know it's really creepy and I should get a life. I've tried to stop multiple times but I always end up coming back to it eventually by coming across someone else who catches my eye. I'm not malicious in any way but I find it fascinating what sort of information they leave on the internet. It's pathetic but I also fantasize about these people a lot. It makes me sad to know I could never form a genuine realistic connection with them.

No. 80896

>>80872
Hey anon, it's gonna be okay. I'm gonna fail my midterms this week too. And I'm too terrified and anxious to try to talk to my teachers and ask for help :^)

No. 80905

>>80893
Fantasize how?

No. 80909

>>80905
Fantasize was probably not the right word. It's more just imagining how they'd react to hypothetical situations, conversations, etc. Although sometimes I do like to imagine what it'd be like to be in a relationship with them.

No. 80911

>>80884
Any event or competitive sales job is going to be more stressful than a basic cleaning or retail job. Starting any job is stressful as hell, but once you know the routine for something mundane you might find yourself able to cope.
Perhaps you and other anon should try to volunteer somewhere once a week to help you adjust.

No. 80982

>>80893
I think that'd be really fun, actually. I do it with people I've met for a day and I add them or vice versa. I look on their fb page through the years, their past lovers, drama, milestones.

Sometimes I'll find someone special and fantasize about them, but 90% of the time they end up disappointing my expectations of what their life would be.

I feel like a creep because I've long since deleted the embarrassing years and past relationships, so nobody could do to me what I do to them.

No. 80995

>>80893
I've done/do similar, just because I can. People leave huge trails and don't even realize it. I just need one username, or a name and a job, or name and location, and I can unveil so much about most of their lives.

I've been increasingly more conscious about what I post ever since I was like 16, and I've gone through and dug into myself to remove what I can so others can't do this to me. I'll never get rid of it all because, unfortunately, I get kinda attached to some accounts and posts and stuff, but still.

There is one person, who I actually knew irl at one point, who I've tried my hardest to find and I just cannot. About once or twice a year I go through a phase of trying to find them again. There is nothing. I don't know if they're dead or what, but even still I figure there would have been an article or obit or something about it.
Actually, that's not 100% true. Years ago I saw a comment on facebook under a photo of someone who I think is related to them, and the comment mentioned their name, but that was it. It doesn't exist anymore though, once again leaving me with nothing.

No. 80996

Sorry for the inevitable wall of text but I need to get this shit off my chest. I've been in a relationship with someone for the past year and my s/o is AMAZING. I have never felt so loved and trusted someone so much. I deal with the occasional communication error, but I have basically found the person I really thought I wanted to marry. Unfortunately, a person I was deeply in love with before I met my s/o has decided to come back into my life and it has made me realize that my s/o will never make me feel as deeply as my "ex" did. My "ex" made me feel crazy and MISERABLE. They (and I say they to protect everyone's anonymity and not in the tumblr sense) were a textbook emotional abuser and is thought to have borderline personality disorder, but I loved them so dearly. I hate myself for this. The person I am with is wonderful, stable, and everything I've ever WANTED but the crazy bitch in me misses the chaos my ex brought to my life. It's almost addicting. I had been feeling restless right before they contacted me so I'm ESPECIALLY susceptible to making impulsive and damaging decisions right now and I'm starting to make myself miserable thinking about what a piece of shit I am for all of this. I judge other girls for going for fuckboys and not decent people and yet here I am, fantasizing about my emotionally volatile ex when I have everything I ever wanted! None of my friends know any of this and I can't talk to them about it because they all LOVE my current s/o and I don't want them to get angry at me for thinking these things, but I swear I think I am just addicted to chaos. I'm addicted to the mindgames and the bullshit. I never thought I was this person, but I guess I am and I hate myself for it. Sorry for the whining.

No. 81001

>>80995
>who I've tried my hardest to find and I just cannot. About once or twice a year I go through a phase of trying to find them again. There is nothing.

Kinda same here. Although I didn't know my person IRL, I like to still look them up from time to time. There's not enough info and I've been looking them up (don't wanna say stalk cause I'm not malicious) since like 2011.

>>80893
With the void of personality thing, maybe you can start off "faking" one, like assigning some hobbies, traits, preferences and opinions to a personality and then trying to be/act like that person would for a short time and see how you like it? Then modify as needed. As for the stalking, as long as you're not hurting anyone or yourself, I don't think you need to stop.

No. 81003

>>80896
Sorry to hear that. My therapist encouraged me to send out an email asking if there was anything I could do. I know she wouldn't know who I am, but I'm too embarrassed to ask because she a no bullshit kind of person. I'm having a meeting with the office for students with disabilities soon. Hopefully I can get some accommodations.

No. 81022

>>80996

Break up with the poor guy before cucking him with Chad.

No. 81023

I've befriended a robot a while back due to mutual friends.
> 29 still at home with no plans to move out
>unemployed
>community college which is fine but he doesn't plan on transferring which won't work if you're going into a medical field
> 0 fashion sense/tattered or old clothes

I tried my best initially to help get his act together, make him aware about job offers and going to the mall together to shop for clothes more his age. All to which he didn't bother with but I'm actually disgusted with him lately. He's almost 30 and is trying to flirt and date 18 year olds. What does someone that age have in common with someone fresh out of high school?? On top of that he was someone who is realitivly attractive, talented, driven basically everything he is not. Which I brought to his attention the other day. An attractive 18 year old girl with talents and ambitions isn't going to date a ducking 30yr old jobless loser.

Like he keeps saying how he wants to "settle down" cuz he's getting older and I'm just like how the fuck you going to settle down if you never left the nest. He should focus. On atleast moving out before dating let alone being as unfortunate in appearance to be wanting to date a 10/10 girl.

All my friends are telling me to apologize but I refuse to apologize to a creep who can't get his act together.

No. 81035

>>80996
Love yourself and never speak to your ex again. If you want a more passionate relationship than your current one, break up and go find someone else, but don't go back to some creepy abuser. Manipulation isn't passion and psycho losers aren't worth it. If you're craving some excitement, get it from somewhere else.

No. 81050

>>80996
imagine yourself in a year if you give into your 'crazy bitch' impulses. maybe five years. this whole setup - not going anywhere. pleasure is fleeting. block him on whatever platform he contacted you over. you can't control how you feel but you can control how you react, and it sounds like you have a good thing going right now and you know better.

No. 81051

This isn't that big of a issue but I really really really hate people who self-diagnose. I've been diagnosed with BPD by multiple psychiatrists and I hate all these Tumblr kids that think they have BPD because it's cool or whatever. It's really getting on my nerves because I feel like people take me less seriously or assume I'm faking it, you know? Ugh.

No. 81053

I can't stand my sister in law guys. She's been TTC for a year now, and has become absolutely unbearable because of it. My younger sister is about 4 months pregnant and due to my sister-in-law struggling to conceive, everyone has to tiptoe around her about talking about babies because she throws a fit and runs out of the room screaming about how "IT'S NOT FAIIIIR". The worst part is that back when they first started trying, before anybody even knew, I told her about my abortion and she got all high and mighty about it and told me how "It's really sad how some people try like hell to have a baby, and yet careless people can just throw one away like that"

Fuck you, you judgmental bitch.

No. 81072

Lately more and more i've been thinking about killing myself and its tearing me apart. I have no friends left, no stable job, I live with my abusive family and my depression is only getting worse. As much as I try to better my life and my friendships everything seems to get worse and it feels like theres nothing I can do about it. I don't think it would really matter anyways if I did kill myself anyways because at this point no one would notice or care.

Honestly I'm just tired of crying myself to sleep and forcing myself to get up in the morning. I just want a reason to feel like living is worth it.

No. 81075

>>80846
Agreeing very hard with this. Not sure if it's just the influx of newfags, it could just be people being dicks. Either way, it's going to kill this community more than help it grow.

No. 81081

>>81075
>>80846
Agree. I know I probably shouldn't get so annoyed with a board, but I really am so sick of the race baiting. So tired of the Ana and tumblr Chans shitting up threads. Really fed up with the derailed a that don't know how to let a petty argument go. And I'm mostly sick of the autistic fags that can't distinguish between different writing styles and leave "nice same fag" comments everywhere.

No. 81085

Can't stand the idiots that cry "OMG PULL FAG PULL FAG U MUST BE FROM PULL OMG SUCH A PSYCHO" when they are trying to defend a cow.

Also people that have to go on and on about how "The milk is dry! You are ruining the good name of lolcow by talking about this person" We get it, we are nitpicking. Just hide the fucking thread and move along if it really bothers you.

No. 81092

File: 1458076558651.jpg (41.16 KB, 480x360, 1457477191557.jpg)

Lately I've been finding myself daydreaming and fantasizing even more than usual, nearly any time my mind isn't already occupied by something. This is starting to really worry me and I'm afraid that with the combination of my procrastination will stop me from achieving my goals and actually getting shit done if I want to achieve those goals. Legit scared I might be developing some sort of delusion or serious mental illness, what do?

No. 81096

>>81081
samefag

. . . i'm just kidding. it is annoying and i don't get how it would be personally rewarding to be trolling/luking relatively slow moving threads only to scream samefaggggg at every opportunity. at this point the only samefagging i'm convinced of is that there is one highly dedicated individual perpetuating massive samefagging through samefagging callouts. it's like samefag inception

No. 81108

>>81072
i'm sorry =[

as lame as this sounds, sometimes you have to be your own best friend. other people always have the potential to let you down. at this point it sounds like you don't have many people to rely on. i know this sounds silly but maybe you could start going to church, i'm not particularly religious but it helped me at least feel a part of something.

i care anon! nobody deserves to be hurt like that. i'm not sure how old you are and what your money situation is but sounds like you could get a job, even a shitty one, and start saving money to move out. it will probably take a long time but the reward will be worth it. once you are out of the environment you describe you will feel loads better. you are from now on, engaged in a top secret mission to rescue yourself! only you can do it. do it because you deserve to be happy and have a good life. if you can get out, you can do literally anything. and i know you can do it. sounds like there is no one in your life to whom you can talk to, but a lot of people here have been through similar situations. just keep posting on here if it helps

No. 81138

>>81085
Tbh you sound like part of the problem. It's "lolcow" not nitpickchan.

No. 81144

File: 1458079278668.jpg (26.18 KB, 250x249, ew.jpg)

I feel like shit for may reasons these days (always tired, shit grades in college, etc) but something is bothering me. There's that guy in college, I don't really acre that much about him usually. He's your average guy who isn't very good or bad looking, he has friends and he often jokes with pretty much everyone except some people (including me). I've been a bit jealous of him because he's more successful than me in some things that I won't detail because it's not important. I know it's wrong but I can't help it. I also catch myself thinking more and more about him when there's no reason to, asking myself what he's doing right now and stupid shit like that. How do I stop caring about him? I hate feeling like this so much, it's so frustrating.

short version: I'm jealous of guy to the point of thinking about him way too much, it pisses me off.

No. 81168

>>80888
That's admitting defeat and being a freeloading faggot. There are people with far worse mental illnesses that need the money. I have a schizphrenic family member and they get like, $700 a month to try and live on. Their existence is bleak and utterly hopeless. With a few more $$$ they could afford to do some things to keep their happiness up.

>>80891
I denied a full time job because I know i couldn't do it, despite the fact it was something simple like bringing food to patients at an old people home. Only paid $8.50/hr, too.

No. 81220

>>81085
I agree with this, especially since it promotes PULL. Oldfags never screamed about PULL in every other post so this seems to be a new development.

No. 81221

>>81220
How does it promote PULL?

No. 81222

Posted here already but I was talking to a girl I thought I might have a chance with and got told off in a shitty way.

It was pretty much "oh anon you're just to feminine for me. You're more like a girlfriend than anything else"

Fuck me I hate that shit. Insults to my masculinity hurts

No. 81228

>>81222
How are you feminine? Give details.

No. 81229

>>81228
Hobbies
Interests
Figure
Kinda face
Hair
No Adam's apple
I might have Klinefelter's syndrome because my body is all kinds of fucked up

No. 81426

>>81085
You mustbe the pullfag from the taylor threads

No. 81489

>>81426
My thoughts exactly

No. 81551

I am so sick of getting profiled as a leftist.

I'm sure it's because I'm female, not-white, have artsy fartsy interests and hang out in hipsterish places. I seriously keep running into randos who start bitching to me out of nowhere about old white guys and other stereotypical progressive grievances.

:/

No. 81553

>>80886
Get a xanny prescription, changed my life

No. 81560

>>81092
No one would care about 4chan's presence on this site if you didn't insist on identifying yourself by doing stuff like baneposting when it's not relevant at all.

No. 81561

>>81144
Maybe you admire him

No. 81570

Lately I've been feeling super down.

My health is wack, I look like an old man's foot and really hate my weight (whenever I try to lose weight and eat a bit less it's like my mind is uncontrolled and in the end I end up eating more at night), I'm friendless (with the few people I sometimes talk openly making fun of me for it) and I'm slowly starting to realize in Uni I'm probably as dumb as a box of rocks. All the people I know are now getting into relationships too and since I've never had one it's made me feel even more miserable hearing them talk about how happy they are

I seriously sometimes want to die but part of me refuses because I can't help but wonder how great it will be when I'm finally happy. It sounds so lame even though part of me knows that may be impossible but I can't help but fall under the "what if" spell.

That felt good to get out sorry if it sound super whiny.

No. 81583

I'm poor and I feel like in today's world I will never not be poor. Everyone says go to college, but then you have to pay off huge debt for the rest of your life, and you're pretty obligated to stick with whatever career you chose even if you find out you hate it just because you spent all that money on it. But it seems like there's so few jobs out there that I would not completely hate & that I could make a comfortable wage on. I want to live my life in a more minimalistic lifestyle, I don't even care about making a ton of money…my #1 goal in life has always to never get too caught up in the rat race or a wage slave job or to just live to worship money, rather to have nice experiences & enjoy my close relationships with bf & family etc. But me & my bf are struggling so bad even with that mindset, I wanted to cry yesterday when I realized that at this rate we will never even be able to afford a vacation, all we do is work & thats it, & thats never what either of us wanted out of life. And i feel like a lot of it is my fault, because I'm a hairdresser for a shitty corporate salon who pays me chump change so I make a lot less money than him. I started there a few months ago & have been holding out hoping they will give me more hours but I don't see that happening. I'm slowly realizing anyways that I hate doing hair & working with people so I contacted a lady with a pet grooming business and I might switch over to doing that hopefully soon, but I'm just scared that I won't make any money doing that either. Maybe it makes me an asshole of some sort or makes me deserve my poorness, but I know I could go work several jobs waitressing or whatever & make more money but I don't want to, I don't want to work a job I hate & have to revolve my whole life around working & never even have time or energy to enjoy my money like I feel like so many people do in this world today. I just want 1 job, a decent job that I don't mind that doesn't make me feel dead inside, 35-40 hrs a week, with enough pay that I can live comfortably instead of having to live like white trash penny pinchers. And I'm scared I'll never have that.

No. 81586

>>81583
I feel ya but just saying my uni loan was not that bad. It was around 15k~. If I wanted to I could pay it off in a year or two. But fuck it. You are right though. College is not for everyone. I think everyone is so wrapped up in that mindset. Have you ever thought of doing some sort of specialty with your cosmetology license?

No. 81588

>>81570
Wow, except for the university thing, this is something I feel like I could have written.

No. 81591

>>81583
>>81586

I feel for my American friends, college is free here but quality is not good as American colleges but hey at least it's free!

No. 81593

Incoming bitterness.

All my life I have been berated for drawing, I draw as often as possible and as such I've always been under fire for doing it. Now, I work at a place that sells art supplies and such, and my manager didn't mind me doodling a little thing to put up on the cash-register if it was quiet. I had been good, I had only really drawn if there were no customers, and most customers found the little doodles endearing. But now one of my co-workers is getting seriously pissed at this. My manager told me I had to stop because that co-worker had wanted to go to the top management to rat on me. I feel pretty betrayed considering all my co-workers are supposed to be my friends and instead of talking to me about this they went behind our manager's back and went straight to the top.

I just feel so fucking bitter, most people enjoy this yet someone wants to stomp on this little piece of happiness.
It sucks and I feel awful, I'm going to work to take home all my doodles because I just don't feel safe having them there anymore.

No. 81604

I wish I wasn't a miserable depressed sack of shit and actually cared about my teeth, because I just got back from the dentist and I need to get 6 fillings that are $150 each. I can barely afford therapy, I can't afford this.

No. 81612

I'll hear in a week and a half whether I have cancer or not. I only have a small chance to not have it. At least I'd probably have 75%-90% chance to survive, so that's nice.

No. 81629

>>81588
It's nice to know someone feels similar. We can get through it, anon. We've already come far

No. 81647

>>81612
Good luck anon. I wish you the best.

No. 81716

>>81593
Maybe they don't hate the drawings themselves, they just feel cheated that they're at work working while another employee seems to get manager sanctioned doodle breaks. I wouldn't take it personally.

No. 81717

>>81612
What type, and what made you get the check?

No. 81725

Today I was out with my boyfriend and we decided to grab some wraps to eat and then swing past a different café to grab some coffee since this particular place does the best coffee in our town.
Since we already had food from another place but needed somewhere to sit I suggested we drink our coffee and eat our wraps on the outside seating of this place. Okay we didn't buy the food from this place but we were making a purchase here and we were going to eat outside. The coffee is £3.50 a cup, fucking extortionate, but it IS good coffee.

Went in and ordered our coffee and the woman serving our coffee was one I'd never seen before, who then remarked on the two polystyrene containers we had and asked if they'd come from here. I replied no and stated that we weren't intending on eating them inside, we were going to eat them outside and only after we'd made a purchase here.
She responded with a condescending grin on her face "don't you think you're being a bit cheeky?" (who you trying to convince bitch me or you).
I told her no, I've made a purchase here, I'm not intending to sit inside, I want to sit outside and enjoy the sunlight and that the business doesn't make vegetarian wraps so I'm unable to purchase them from the premises anyway.

"That's besides the point".
What's beside the point? My boyfriend and I have just dropped £7.00 on two coffees that probably took you less than 20p to make and I'd totally get it if we were trying to sit inside but part of the inflated charge is labour costs and seating. I've just paid £7.00 so that we can enjoy our coffee in a seated area.
"Ohhhh I just don't want my manager seeing"

No fuck you bitch, I know your manager and Kim is chill as fuck and always gives me extra cream on my order of molten caffeinated sugar, she wouldn't give a fuck.

YOU DON'T EVEN MAKE FUCKING WRAPS SO HOW CAN I BUY THEM FROM YOU INSTEAD
THE CONTAINERS WEREN'T EVEN BRANDED, THEY WERE PLAIN, WHITE POLYSTYRENE CONTAINERS

Anyway we ended up sitting on a bench directly across the road from the café and she kept side-eying us from the window. Was it really worth it bitch.
I don't care who wants to argue with me on this. They don't sell vegetarian wraps and if I've just paid £3.50 for a coffee from them then you're damn fucking sure I'm going to sit my surly ass on your outside seating.

No. 81729

>>81725
So you brought a meal from somewhere else to a restautant and acted like a huge cunt to the minimum wage employee who was confused by your ignorance of basic social interaction. Then you wrote an autistic rant about it on an imageboard. How fat are you? 200? 300?

No. 81734

>>81725
It's common sense that it's not okay to bring outside food/beverage to a food service place, even to their outdoor seating. If you're gonna do shit like that, at least be sneaky about it. They probably would've never noticed had you not literally brought the food inside and showed it to them.

Just go eat at a park next time.

No. 81737

>>81729

128lbs, and who stated it was a restaurant?

No. 81738

>>81725
>No fuck you bitch, I know your manager and Kim is chill as fuck and always gives me extra cream on my order of molten caffeinated sugar, she wouldn't give a fuck.

If you've never seen this employee before, then she might have been new and might have had absolutely no idea how cool the manager is. If she previously worked somewhere similar, she might have been bitched out for stuff like this before. Tbh it sounds like she was trying to tell you in a friendly way that she didn't want to get into trouble. I really doubt she actually gave that much of a shit about what you did, she was just protecting her ass.

No. 81739

>>81734

There is no park nearby and how am I supposed to be sneaky and not bring it inside and make an order? Stand at the door and scream for them to service me in the alcove?

No. 81740

>>81738

Yeah, probably, I was just enraged by the shit-eating grin she gave me and the condescending tone she used.

Obviously I wouldn't have done something like this if I was carrying a branded meal but it was legit just a plain, white container and they don't serve any vegetarian options so idk how she might have thought I'd hurt the business. Anybody that saw me eating would have just assumed it'd come from the anyway.

No. 81754

>>81583
>I just want 1 job, a decent job that I don't mind that doesn't make me feel dead inside
To be honest you are "just" asking for what the majority of people in the world are also clamouring for. It's actually a total jackpot to find a decent paying longterm job you don't hate, even with a degree.
I also have the same dream, good luck to us both.

No. 81773

>>81739
If that's really the only solution you can think of, I'll leave you be. Lmfao.

No. 81776

>>81725
>not just giving your boyfriend the fucking wraps and making him sit outside with them while you order the coffee
Way to make a mountain out of a molehill

No. 81828

>friends refers a translation job to me
>it's a 40 shades of grey style erotic novel for wonen
>translate it while being disgusted with the writing
>also refer some guys from my class to her to help
>girl I'm translating for keeps NIT picking the translation even though it's perfect(got it checked by my English profs)
>I say fuck it I'm not doing it after 15th time and have a huge fight with the girl
>book releases anyways
>yesterday get a message from classmate saying she blocked him and didn't pay him even after 3 months
>wants me to settle this shit and talk with the girl

God I fucking hate this, I hate dealing with shit like this. My stomach hurts

No. 81834

>>81725
I'm a waitress, and I don't get why people are shitting all over you. It's not like you bought nothing from the cafe and wanted to sit at their tables anyway. People bringing food from other establishments happens all the time - as long as they're also ordering from us, we don't care if they sit at our tables.

No. 81842

>>81834

Thanks Anon, you sound like a nice waitress.

No. 81852

>>81725
That waitress sounds like a cunt. Also, this is the first I'm hearing that you're not allowed to eat another cafe's food when you go to one, especially if you're also buying from the one you plan to eat at anyway. Who even cares? Why is it a big deal? Who will be hurt by this?

No. 82017

>>81725
I am a waitress myself and believe me, I couldn't give less fucks about what people do, as long as I don't get in trouble for it. You think the waitress would have given one single fuck about the food if she didn't had to? Probably not. But I assume since she cared so much, she made some bad experience in the past and assumed the food was not allowed there. And just because you get special treatment from a chill manager doesn't mean every customer does.
And even if it's only an outside table, it's still part of the cafe. As far as my experience as a waitress goes, the restaurants/cafes want to make maximum profit out of you. They don't give one single fuck if you can't enjoy your wraps in the sunshine because there's no bench. They only care that they have to pay rent, their staff, costs, etc and they don't want you to sit around there all day and consuming food they themselves didn't profit from. Even a $3,50 coffee doesn't entitle you to see the cafe as you free space you can use to your will for an infinite amount of time.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but this is how most people running this buisnesses think, and what's drilled into their staff's head.

>>81834
>>81852
To be honest, I'd never bring food from outside to a cafe. I would consider it super rude, too, if someone I'm with would do so. But maybe that's just me, or our country handles this stuff differently.

No. 82022

>>82017

Even if the café doesn't make vegetarian wraps?
How can they profit from an item they don't even provide?

No. 82024

>>82022
They'd rather have you taken something from their menu instead. And they obviously can't cater to everything and any taste. Maybe they don't want to to wraps, maybe it's not going to make enough profit considering there seems to be a great wrap store around the corner, or whatever reason. You could ask the manager and suggest they add it to the menu?

I can see your point, all I can say is that from my experience in gastronomy and management, it's not that simple. Yes, they would prefer you to eat their own food, and even if this doesn't suit you, they'd rather not see you eat anything than someone else's food. Don't ask, but that's the logic with many of them.

No. 82025

>>82024

Fair enough, I mean I can definitely understand that point of view.
Still salty af though because the waitress really was condescending though and it was done deliberately as well.
You know when people lock eyes with you, smile with their teeth bared and speak in that overly saccharine drawl? I wanted to hop the counter and fuck her with my cheese and pickle wrap.

No. 82038

>>82025
She was trying to be nice because she thought you were a social retard

No. 82058

>>82017
>Even a $3,50 coffee doesn't entitle you to see the cafe as you free space you can use to your will for an infinite amount of time.
>But maybe that's just me, or our country handles this stuff differently.

I'm from Australia, maybe we're just more relaxed about this kind of thing? I've worked at a few cafes, and there are always people who order a single coffee and sit at our tables, taking their time. It's never been a problem.

No. 82059

STOP REPSPONDING TO SPOONY

No. 82064

I've had the same group of friends since around middle school. We bonded because we were all overweight weird weeaboo legbeard trash. Since then, I've managed to abandon the legbeard, hide my inner weeb (except for a few shirts), lost weight, dress better, and learned how to do makeup. They just became SJW's. Some of them try to give me grief over it by calling me 'butch' (I do have short hair), but I remind them that they're 500x moreso than I.

Is it too much to ask for a pretty, normal friend who I can talk about makeup and clothes with?

No. 82072

Fuck this is so stupid but I just want to let it out.

Got out of an abusive relationship, he had been seeing someone but convinced me he stopped talking to her to be with me, which was a lie. This girl is a couple years older, has no fucking talent, has the personality of an edgy Facebook aunt, and looks like a chubby gremlins faced midget. I dated this guy during the worst time in my life, so it was easy to break my heart over and over with his bullshit and manipulation. I still am so angry, even though he's old and ugly- it actually makes it worse that he looks so gross now, because I allowed him into my life and heart.

Fast forward to dating another narcissist, he eventually baited me into a HUGE blow out argument because his insecurities were building up and he had become pretty obsessed with me. I had fallen in love with him quickly for many valid reasons, but his dumb fucking little baby man ego got in the way. He still thinks that I was being "crazy", but he yelled more than me and was the most insufferably endless void of emotional neediness, and I became annoyed beyond belief and called him out on his bullshit. This fight happened before a really huge life event thing he promised to help with, so naturally that sabotaged it. He is also a giant petty baby, and I have the unfortunate fate of having to interact with him tomorrow.

This leaves me heartbroken and now I have attached myself to this guy across the country (friend of a friend) who isn't even really cute but has a compelling personality and is friends with my friends in that area. He's also older and states that as one of the reasons why we can never date, and that the other main one being that I'm too attractive for him and he admitted to being kind of mental and that he would worry way too much if something was to go wrong. But of course we sexted because whatever it's fun, and now he's dropped that he's starting to see a girl who I think doesn't even live too close to him and can't be much older than me. Because the few men that I'm actually attracted to just personality wise end up being so shitty I've never felt so alone in my life and that's how I end up with these creepy relationships.

I just needed to post my mess of a dating history recently. Also during this time my best friend decided to fall in love with me and when I changed my mind about fucking him he stopped talking to me. Men are so cool.

No. 82079

Long story short, I just found out there is a good chance my mom may divorce her husband within the next year. I am still living at home (tldr; chronic/mental illness shit), so this would have a big impact on me. She lost her entire life savings during their marriage because his debts have caused us to nearly go bankrupt, so she has no money. I'm more than fine with the prospect of us moving and both working to pay bills and afford a place if they split up, but I'm terrified that this will mean I won't be able to afford to go to college and will be stuck working menial labor jobs for the rest of my life because no one wants an untrained fuck with nothing more than a high school diploma. This would also mean she won't be able to retire easily and I won't be able to help her retire if I can't get a good paying job.

TLDR; May become a poorfag within the year, am terrified about how this will effect my and my mother's futures.

No. 82091

I recently picked up art again.The past few months I've been drawing a lot.
But never, not even once have I been satisfied with anything I did the past months. I don't even hate it. But I look at everything and find only flaws, mediocrity or things I could have done better. At best, I think "meh" and throw the finished product aside, feeling a vague feeling of indifference and disappointment.

I love art, and I keep doing it, but I want to be happy again, I want to look at my work and feel satisfaction. I want to look at if and not feel immediate disappointment.

No. 82094

I really really am fucking sick and tired of sjws and especially blm
I'm probably preaching to the choir, but they really piss me off. I used to just ignore them, but I can't anymore

No. 82106

>>82038

No she was being a condescending cunt. Sorry you can't pick up on these kind of facial/vocal cues because you were dropped on your head as a child.

No. 82114

My ex molested his little sister and became an anarchocommunist asexual trannie.

He's about 24-25 and he's dating a 17 year old now.

What the fuck can I do. It's all online but I wish I could ruin his life.

No. 82115

>>81737
>>81725
>who stated it was a restaurant?
>cafe

You're not smart.

No. 82116

>>82115

…. do you not understand the difference between a restaurant and a café? Really?

No. 82118

File: 1458389827599.png (337.48 KB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_2016-03-19-12-14-20…)

>>82115
lol they're not the same thing.
>the American educational system at work

No. 82119


No. 82121

>>81737
>>82115
>>82118
yall are autistic. stop

No. 82135

>>82119
This is like, purely english though. A cafe and a restaurant are completely different things where I live.

No. 82153

>>82135

Same. For me a café is like a light, airy, small tearoom and a restaurant is like a big place to go enjoy a family meal.

No. 82156

>>82135
>>82153
I'm not sure what the argument is about, but there is a pragmatic difference between cafe and restaurant in English. I can only speak to North America, but typically cafes don't really have servers (maybe a fancier place will have someone bring you your order), so maybe that anon thought of restaurants when the post was about an argument with some kind of server.

No. 82276

File: 1458456715027.jpg (106.99 KB, 800x595, 1458206805713.jpg)

I forgot how bad I am at socializing, especially online.
I'm trying to find a Japanese person to play Dragon's Dogma Online with, someone who wants to learn English so there's a fair exchange going on and I don't feel like I'm being a burden or using somebody. I'd also want them to join my vidya group's mumble channel.
My first stop has been Interpals, and I've found a few good candidates. I just can't bring myself to message one of them. I can't socialize in-game either.
I've barely played the game 5 minutes and I'm already paralyzed by indecision and self-doubt.
I really do not like the idea of trying to talk to strangers.

I was going to post this in /vidya/ but this seems more appropriate.

No. 82278

File: 1458460391803.gif (622.33 KB, 383x286, fuck this.gif)

I really need to stop going to /cgl/.

Its not them, its me. I just get annoyed in threads. I dont often post and definitely not to continue an argument with a salty seagull. But I just get so irritable sometimes being there. I must be autistic or something

No. 82285

>>81053

fucking hell she sounds awful. Just the kind of person I would hate

No. 82313

>>82278
Just block it from your phone or computer. It's pointless being there since the janitors got so uppity anyway.
But on the other hand, this place is going so far the other way with all the racism and far right political leanings. Why can't we have a happy medium?

No. 82315

>>82313

I'm highly considering it anon. /cgl/ does have its tiny uses occasional, mostly other peoples taobao finds. But I guess its just not worth it anymore since I always stray into shit hole threads.

No. 82319

>>81583
Fuck, this is why I'm NEET.

I tried college but couldn't settle for a major and with the money and time invested I felt like it would've been a waste anyway because, reality, nobody wants to hire someone who's anti-social. The majority of work out there requires interacting with people, there's no dodging it, and settling for that kind of job, if I could even land one, would wreck me.

No. 82330

Is it so wrong to ask my parents to not touch the back of my neck/hair/head/shoulders? It physically bothers me and has always been a place of sensitivity for me and I absolutely HATE when they do it, especially when they do it because they know it bothers me.

Like, friends or coworkers or anyone of that nature respects this and never touch these areas after I tell them I don't like it (the only reason they'd do it anyways is if, say, they're behind me and try to scare me or something)… so I don't understand why my parents won't show me the same respect and get all pissy when I ask them not to. My mom even goes as far as saying that "I'm not normal" or, rather aggressively, to "get over it".

No. 82331

>>82330
Ew, I hate that too. That's weird that your parents won't listen though. They really should respect your personal space and wishes. It's not like it's unreasonable.

No. 82333

>>82331
You'd think after 10+ years of me telling them this they would maayyybeee think it really does bother me, but they're really kind of the sort that are "We're your parents, it's different when we do it" type.

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if a decent portion of my anxiety comes from this,

No. 82367

My cousin makes shit up on her Tumblr to make herself sound more interesting and ~mysterious~ and it's kinda annoying.
Like she's not snowflake-tier and they aren't super awful lies, just things like a ~fragile moon child uwu~ name and pretending that she moved here from the USA, it just annoys the shit out of me for some reason.

No. 82372

>>82064
I tend to attract SJW-lite types, as well, though they're not as bad as your friends sound. And when they're not SJW, they're otherwise weird or spergy or have some problem. This probably means I should clean up my own act and start talking to more people so that I can get normal friends. :/

No. 82373

>>82094
Try living in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts.

… :(

No. 82377

>>81561
Didn't notice you replied to my post, sorry. Maybe you're right after all. I don't want to look up to anybody though, I find it very embarrassing. I want to try to forget about it but I'm at that point where I even have dreams about him. Time to stop sleeping forever I guess.

No. 82401

I wonder what it's like to be with someone who actually has their shit together

No. 82404

>>82401
pretty good. It's motivating to me to also get my shit together so I'm not the burden in the relationship. I've got some ambitions now and generally doing better in all aspects of my life.

No. 82444

What's the point of socializing? It all seems so vapid and fake…

No. 82445

>>82444
You don't get very far in life if people don't like you/know anything about you.

No. 82447

File: 1458516150755.jpg (40.28 KB, 680x491, sKS1WX5g.jpg)

Sorry to be that guy.
So, i had this cute bichon frise, and ever since she died i have felt guilty as fuck. I thought she just had mastitis and it wasn`t really someting to worry about, until she had to be hospitalized at age 11. That mastitis ended up being tumors, cervical infections, weak kidneys, all that shit. I still feel like garbage for ignoring the mastitis. Call me retarded, i probably have an extra chromosome, i still feel like shit. She looked fine, she looked happy, i`m probably just a shitty dog owner. I didn`t deserve those tail wags that she gave me when i visited her, i`m a horrible person. I`m just happy she silently went away in her sleep,a thing that she loved to do. Nothing washes away the crappy feeling that i fucking neglected her symptoms.

>picture semi related

No. 82451

>>82447
That's awful anon, I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like an honest mistake. You said she looked fine and nobody likes to imagine the worst for their pets. Please don't beat yourself up about it.

No. 82460

>>80876
Fuck this is me right now. It feels like I'm just a stupid loser with shitty grades, even after I try so hard to study for hours and turn in my work. It's always subpar and I never fully understand shit. It's like I'm going nowhere with my life.
This coming week I hope to go to more office/tutoring hours though. I think what helps me is remembering that 1. not everyone is going to be able to do the same things and 2. being smart takes a lot of work and it can't all be done by yourself. It really does still feel discouraging but I guess this kind of stress can't be helped. Just keep trying and working at it, because moping about being stupid hasn't worked for me, and I'm sure it doesn't work for anyone else either.

No. 82476

>>80845
You're confusing, possibly oblivious yet extremely interesting. Other people call you ugly/smelly/weird but you're so endearing to me. I just wish you'd make it easier for me to be a part of your life.

No. 82477

>>82447
Who the fuck cares about dogs or animals just buy a new one
>inb4 you dont have a dog
Yes I do but if she dies id be a bit sad but id buy a new one.

No. 82481

File: 1458530710316.gif (82.36 KB, 500x273, large.gif)

I thought I was going to have a nice fwb situation this year but this friend has dropped the ball so hard in communication. I'm tired of trying to initiate and waiting around to hear from them. Thought there might be something to be said this weekend when I saw them, but they fucking danced around the issue. So fuck them. I don't care how good the dick is if they aren't going to give a shit. And if they weren't interested in this kind of deal, they should've manned up and fucking said so earlier.

I just want a friend I can hang out with and bang. Why is that so difficult to find, it's not like I'm hideous.

No. 82482

>>82476
You gotta crush on some dude that doesn't wear deodorant?

No. 82516

I moved out of my parent's house almost three years ago because I was becoming seriously ill and needed to get away from the toxic environment. It isn't been daisies and sunshine, but it's a Hell of a lot better than what was. However, shit has started to hit the fan and I don't really know how to react.
My relationship with my partner of a little over a year is on the rocks. I still love them, but it's starting to be too much (probably because I have a fear of love thanks to the reference I have). I've come back to visit my makers and my fears have been confirmed: it's most likely that my they will get a divorce within the next year due to, what appears to be, my father's relapse into alcoholism (except, compared to what it was before, that was just a blooming of the addiction).
I've been talking to my mother in private and she told me that she's met someone who makes her happy. They're just friends right now and nothing has happened, but if the possibility was there, they'd probably go for it.
I'm happy for her, which is weird and upsets me deeply. I want my mother to be happy because, lately, her marriage with my father has been a strenuous job which is affecting her paying one. She says she hasn't been happy in the relationship for years and that the moment she realised she was no longer in love with my father was about two years ago. I totally understand why, seeing as how my father doesn't only treat my mother the way he does.
I'm really confused. In these types of situation, the kids are usually mad at the parent that leaves, but, in my case, I'm fucking relieved. It doesn't feel right, though.
In all honesty, I'm scared of what would happen to my father if he lived on his own. He would probably move countries, because he can't manage to live on his on where they currently live. I don't want to lose my dad.
Another issue is that I have younger siblings who are underage. One of them is currently a sponge and is picking up on all the habits my parents have, which scares me. When they were young, they used to be so curious about the world and wanted to read, but because my mother is being worked to death to maintain the family and just a lack of attention from my father, all they do now is sit in front of the TV. In the time we've all been at home since I've been back, the television has been on. I'm not saying that they or anyone else shouldn't watch shows or films, but my siblings aren't being stimulated at all in an extremely important (época) (sorry, I don't know the word in English) of their development.
Besides that, I don't know what would happen with the custody, seeing as how my mother would probably stay here and my father would move to another continent. I'm really worried for them and I'm terrified of them living alone with my father. My mother says the only reason she hasn't left him yet is because she doesn't want to fuck up my siblings' lives, but the relationship my parents have already is, and has already caused me a lot of issues as well.
I don't know how to feel. I've cried about it, but I just felt.like an imbecile afterwards. As I said before, I'm completely on board with mt mother's decision, even though it's kind of sad. Honestly, I think I'm starting to resent my father for it… I mean, he let his famiky slip away and he's been given chance after chance. But I'm scared for him, too.
It's pretty much done, though not yet official. My mother has already told him that she's leaving, she just doesn't know when.
Tl;dr My parents have always had issues, my dad is an alcoholic, and my parents are getting a divorce. I'm fucked up about it for a few reasons, the primary one being that I'm not mad at my mother, rather, at.my father.

No. 82519

I fucking hate seeing new babyzelda videos when I look for new ASMR to listen to. I avoid them but when I first watched/listened to them I couldn't understand how she was so popular. She's gotten almost nothing but praise ever since her new yeti mic and it's annoying as fuck because she just has giant tits and moans.

I have no idea why I dislike her so much. She's a MFC camgirl who got into ASMR and started a Patreon for it too. jfc it was annoying to hear fake giggles and moans when I was just trying to find something nice to help me sleep.

No. 82521

>>81583
I'm mad about it too. I live alone, I had to move far away from my parents to live in a big city just to study and work part time. Everything is crazy expensive and I barely stand some of the friends I got here because their parents are in the area and they don't have to worry about rent, yet they act like they understand me.

I'm starting to hate my own country. If you're not married with 2 kids, you won't receive any help but you'll be expected to pay for everything. I'm under the poverty line because I'm trying to study but they keep taxing me like a full fledged adult and making me go soon into debts.
One of my classmate had a kid as a teen and her mom take full care of her, yet she receives a ton of help just because she got a mom status (but she doesn't even live with her son and see him once a week).

I'm pretty sure I'm depressed but I don't have any money for a therapist (which is also insanely expensive) and nobody suspects a thing because I have a huge facade of being a party girl, easygoing and carefree. Truth is my only form of entertainment is going to bars with $5 in my pocket and meeting people and dancing, then back to stressing over bills at my place, working all day then working some more in the evening for weeks.

I'm pretty sure I made (and still make) all the good decisions, I picked my own school, nailed an interview for a job in my field, got 4 years of working experience and learned a ton. Yet I'm struggling like crazy because I wasn't born in a rich family from walking distance of an important city.

No. 82522

>>82477
low quality b8 m8

No. 82659

>>82519
What would you like in a video, I have been thinking about making one because it's interesting but it seems weird. If I could help someone fall asleep then it wouldn't be weird at all and I'd feel better

No. 82691

File: 1458609115131.jpg (314.75 KB, 2197x1463, 577545.jpg)

A really tragic thing happened to me recently involving my family and has thrown me into a deep depression. I've started drinking again and have been wasted almost every day because I can't cope. I feel suicidal.

I feel really disappointed that my boyfriend hasn't stepped up to the plate more to comfort me and make sure I'm okay. I've asked him several times over the past few days to check up on me and just see how I'm doing but he's yet to ask. I'm sure he just forgets or maybe it's because he has his own problems, but I know I'd make it a priority to be there if he was in trouble.

I asked him to watch some funny movies with me to help me relax a few days ago, which he did, but I could tell he really didn't want to, so I haven't asked again. I just want to be comforted and really need support, but instead, I just feel alone and angry. Angry especially that he has gotten mad at me for drinking again but doesn't offer any support to help me stop.

No. 82704

>>82691
He kind of sounds like a dick. Are you doing okay, anon? I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a lot.

No. 82721

>>82704
Thank you, I really appreciate it a lot.

I'm honestly just having a really hard time right now. I'm having to deal with a lot of technical "adult" things by myself while trying to cope with all of this, and I don't really have anyone to lean on since I don't have friends or extended family.

Since all this happened, I've pretty much been cooped up in my house alone, drinking in the dark. I've tried to reach out to some hotlines and stuff, but they've done fuck all, so I'm out of luck I guess.

No. 82723

>>82691
Oh anon that sucks, I hate your boyfriend already. If you dont mind me to ask what has happened? (You dont have to tell)

No. 82727

>>82723
I don't want to go into too much detail, but a close family member who I look after 24/7 is very ill in the hospital and isn't doing too well. I'm worried sick, on top of being overwhelmed from dealing with doctors, finances, etc.

No. 82744

Yummy havent taken a shower for almost a week (or maybe more than a week??? Idk tbh) and now my cleavage smells like cheese onion which robot wants to lick it? Hmmmm love my smelly smell so much

No. 82748

>>82727
Yikes, now I know why I hate your boyfriend. A guy did this to me exactly. Fuck him. If you want to you should also dump him. He clearly doesnt care about your feelings. Or maybe he does but is being awkward or something. Either way confront him about it!

No. 82749

File: 1458615704608.gif (1019.15 KB, 500x206, zg839bM.gif)

My parents divorced when I was very young, probably 3 or 4, and my mother committed suicide right before my 6th grade summer vacation and I've always had a lot of guilt over it.

When I was a little kid I would hide under tables or cry when other kids tried to talk to me. The first friend I ever made was in 3rd grade because she relentlessly tried to befriend me due to our mutual interest in Pokemon. Every friend I gained from then during my school life was because of her.

In high school one popular girl who was friends with most of our weeby group hated me, said everyone in the school didn't like me and thought I was a stuck up bitch because I never talked to anyone outside my friend group even if they tried to talk to me (because strangers scared the living shit out of me). I got depressed. Got put on a medication that ended up making me very suicidal. Thought about quitting high school, but made it through by the skin of my teeth.

After high school I shut myself off from the world, spent my days playing video games and indulging in otaku things while taking care of my grandma. I stopped talking to all my friends because they started feeling like strangers which was TERRIFYING to me. Got diagnosed with Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder (inherited by my mother) Tried another medication that also made me suicidal quit that and didn't go back to the doctor.

This last year has been Hell.

My aunt died this last December very unexpectedly and I miss her so much. She left me a sizable inheritance and her car. Without her I probably wouldn't be driving (I didn't even get my liscence until two years ago because driving also scared me shitless)

My dad got fired from his job in January 2015 leaving both of us without insurance. He battled prostate cancer and pulled through but is still having TONS of other (expensive) medical issues. ATM, he is having to get blood transfusions twice a week and is frequently seriously ill.

I moved out of my grandma's house to move out with my boyfriend of nearly 7 years(the only person I've kept in touch with since high school) since his parents were kicking him out.

I got a part time cashier job at a large retail chain to provide a little income since although he works full time he does not make much money per hour, and it is killing me. You may not think cashiering is a stressful job, but I dread going in every single day, and often leave in crying. I go to work avoid talking to any co-workers, and leave. I've been there nearly 9 months and still constantly fumble and mess up. Sometimes I think I'm literally retarded. I have such a hard time concentrating and remembering things. One of my supervisors openly dislikes me, and I'm pretty sure other feel the same. I get so terrified of talking to people and what they are thinking of me that it ends up a self fulfilling prophecy and I think they actually do end up disliking me and thinking I'm weird or standoffish. No, I'm just really, really, scared of you. I've had several panic attacks at work while cashiering, either because of a big mistake I made, rude customers, or being threatened by my boss, Trying to be friendly and upbeat while sobbing and hyperventilating is not fun.

I tried going to beauty school this fall, because I like hair and makeup, but I just couldn't handle waking up at 6AM going to school for 8 hours, then working most afternoons directly after that. I know a lot of people thrive on being busy, but all it does is make me extremely anxious and depressed. I only feel like I'm not literally about to die when I'm at home. I also hated that school. Again I felt alienated, no one even tried to get to know me, everyone gossiped about everyone. Even the teachers talked shit about each other openly. If was to much of an awful environment socially for me to take.

I also just quit taking Paxil after starting it 5 months ago. It helped my anxiety VERY slightly, but I gained 50 lbs. 50 lbs. in 5 months. With only a slight increase in appetite. As the weight piled on the pill stopped working. A large part of my anxiety is my fear of how other perceive my appearance. I've been having some bad withdrawals coming off of it too. I don't want to take medication anymore, they've never helped me.

So here I am, nearly 24, now fat, friendless, skill less, insurance-less, no education beyond high school, still working at my first ever job making $9/hr 15 hours a week, hating every single moment of it. Struggling to manage my anxiety and bipolar disorder without medication or therapy, only finding solace while in the safety of my home. Being too afraid to get gas or groceries without my boyfriend's help. Feeling like a worthless piece of shit with nothing to offer society. While worrying every day about my dad's health.

The only things that keep me going right now are my wonderful, supportive boyfriend, and my two cats…

Sorry for the length, but I really don't have anyone to tell any of this to.. This was actually quite relieving.

No. 82752

>>82749
my heart goes out for you anon. this is beyond fucked up. Fuck that girl you were with in high school, she only told you this so you would snap. And you did otherwise you wouldnt be blogging about this. But I completely understand why you did. My heart goes out to you..Fight all your obstacles. You should go to school, apply for an insurance and do what you must do. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live. S-s-stop crying! And you will become skinny again just have patience! G-g-ganbatte ne! ;____;

No. 82761

>>82727
Yeah, I bet that's really stressful! I agree with the other anon, you should confront him about it. Especially if the situation is driving you to drink, you're already in a stressful situation and you don't need him to be a dick to you while you're going through it. You need him to be there for you.
My ex-boyfriend was like that and got to the point where he'd laugh about it (when it was something that clearly upset me) or completely ignore me. You don't need that in your life.

No. 82763

>>82401
It's great because they have like a blueprint and help you grow sooooo much, but then you feel like a piece of shit that doesn't contribute as much, sometimes feel like you're lagging behind and forcing the other person to put things on hold (like marriage), and generally the worst part is feeling like you have a parent-child relationship. This is what grinds my gears because I grew up being the bad seed and never listening to anyone.

No. 82796

>>82748
>>82761
Yeah, I know I should say something. I'm just scared to. He's always really irritable because he's depressed and stressed out and our relationship is already rocky for other reasons. I feel like he'd just think I'm nagging him and would get mad at me. I know I'm being cowardly, but the risk almost doesn't seem worth it at this point.

No. 82807

File: 1458647039004.png (268.63 KB, 526x570, 85e.png)

I used to have a lot of parties, like 3+ years ago. Moved to a new place recently, with a more open layout, decided to have a housewarming party. Spent ~100$ on food and drinks.
Keep in mind almost everyone at this party was about 25 years old. Quick rundown of my complaints:

>Some guests decided it was just fine to invite people who I didn't even know

>Old female friend brought her baby daddy without telling me
>baby daddy has beef with one of my male friends
>have to tell male friend to wait to come over because this dickhead showed up and I didn't want a fist fight
>Same female friend insulted the free food (some of which I made)

>Guy friend M (21 years old) weighs about 90lbs

>Drinks about 3 beers, passes out on my floor for 7 hours
>this was probably the best scenario
>why the fuck cant people respect their limits?

>BF's Friend Z is socially awkward af, sitting on the couch right next to a table

>Plethora of plates available for him to use
>sets his pizza on the floor in between bites
>oldest friend there finally calls him out on it, he shrugs
>keeps his keys, phone, etc, on the floor as well
>his feet stink like ass

>BF's friends D and J show up already plastered and acting retarded

>D walks right into and almost busts the shit out of my screen door, knocking it off the track
>laughs at it
>J too drunk to stand, hangs on almost broken screen door
>J spits off my balcony, I jokingly say, "aw, that's nasty" - He responds by saying "You're nasty." in a serious tone.
>I say, "Well that's not very nice"
>"I'm not a nice person"
Coming from this kid who was a total beta hippie the last time I saw him.

>J asks where my hot friend T is at, if she's coming

>"I wanna grab her tits."
>Disgustingly rants about my friend's body
I ended up telling T what he said, she unfriended him lol

>J pisses all over my toilet and bathroom floor

>pisses on my new toilet rug
>Denies it was him
>BF has to clean it up

>J is rambling on in belligerence and then starts throwing up in his mouth

>classiestpartyever.mov
>D also throws up in his mouth, dribbles down his shirt

>Party reaches 4am

>D and J still guzzling booze and stomping and yelling
>top floor apartment, have neighbors sleeping
>ask them politely at least 10 times to quiet/calm down a bit
>they don't
>finally get in their faces and yell at them
>they ignore me, continue yelling

>J starts getting aggressive

>says "Fuck everyone here," repeatedly
>specifically targets one friend of mine and just says "Fuck you" right to his face with a dirty look

>BF tells D and J they need to get ubers asap

>D calls his uber and gets the fuck out
>J sits around, still drinking, doesnt get an uber
>BF finally kicks him out even though he never got an uber

>BF sobers up and goes to drive a couple friends home

>J standing awkwardly in the entrance of the building
>no one interacts with him
>BF and I both block J on social media

Never inviting people over to my space again. Still fucking miffed about it several days later. Maybe I seem like a stuck up bitch, but I don't really give a fuck. Adults shouldn't act this way. I put forth my money and my space to have a good time and I got shit on and taken advantage of.
How hard is it to just hang out and have a few beers and smoke without the situation escalating into utter retardation? I need better friends.

No. 82812

>>82807
urgh. I would never ever throw a party at my house.
I could not stand to clean up other people's piss and vomit.

No. 82814

>>82807

Welcome to trying to throw parties age 25+!

(I would totally come to your party though, we can blaze it in a spare and disco boogie).

No. 82815

>>82114
Sounds like it´s already terrible enough

No. 82820

>>82807
Uh, no, you don't seem stuck up, I wouldn't have even accepted putting a fucking slice of pizza on the floor or insulting what I'm providing for them (food). The fact that you allowed all of that to happens makes it seem as though you're too lenient.

No. 82834

>>82807

You sound like a moron who allows people to trash your place and do nothing about it. As soon as someone were to act up like that, putting foot on the floor, pissing on anything, I'd throw them out. Then again, none of my friends would ever disrespect my apartment like that. You sound like a doormat.

No. 82836

File: 1458658813607.jpg (50.16 KB, 500x365, 23603371.jpg)

>Live in overpopulated city
>Literally only one park
>No biking, no skateboarding, no pets
>Ok.jpg

>Pretty much a NEET

>Want to go outside for once
>Remember the rules
>Remember I hate running and walking
>Stare at unused skateboard and 500$ bike

>Mfw

No. 82839

My schizophrenic mother, whom I haven't had contact with for years, has been spamming my university with e-mails and letters apparently. When will she finally leave me alone ffs? She lost custody of me when I was only 1 month old, she never cared for me, she only ever endangered me. Why can't she take the hint? I've been ignoring her for years now, and other family members have told her to fuck off, but she won't leave me alone.

No. 82840

>>82659
My favorite ASMR videos are ones without talking. I usually end up listening to Deep Ocean of Sounds or Yattemo-jasmr. JUN is also a very goo ASMRtist. It's not that weird to feel interested in making your own! It can be weird depending how you act or talk, I guess. Everyone has their own trigger for it. I personally only listen to binaural ones and I have a special place in my heart for soft crinkle sounds.

No. 82844

>>82836
What the fuck kind of park is that? Sounds boring. Why not just bike or skate around the neighborhood?

No. 82845

>>82844

I have no idea, it doesn't even have trees. It's just a patch of land with a playground lmao.

I would but doing that is pretty much a deathwish, I live in an apartment in the middle of the city and we don't even have sidewalks here and drivers kill bike riders/pedestrians all the time.

No. 82848

>>82814
I appreciate that, anon. I'm down to disco boogie anytime with ya m8

>>82820
>>82834
I am too lenient, indeed. It's something I've been trying to work on, along with a myriad of other personal issues like that. I really should have thrown them out. I felt pretty out of control in general with the situation. Like I said, I got in their faces and yelled at them, which I've never done before. My boyfriend should have backed me up more as well.

No. 82856

>>82814
Wtf anon, no. Idk where you're from but that scenario was every party when you're below 25. At that age you've gotten your illegal teen drinking and college shit out of your system and have maybe had happy hour with coworkers.
>>82807
You need more mature friends anon. But also, don't feel bad about your inherited friends (your bf's friends)….you almost have no choice with them, but you can at least ban them from your space and life period for being such fuckwads.

No. 82885

>>82836
Just move then.

No. 82929

This is gonna be a wall of text: I got out of an abusive and manipulative relationship two months ago. Shortly after our breakup I heard that my ex had been seeing a new girl already(a cuter than me kawaii~ moon girl). So after a few weeks of wallowing in self pity I decided that fuck that, and I began to meet up with other guys on casual dates. While I was on a date with one guy friends of my ex saw me and took a picture of me with the guy and send it to my ex, and he proceeded to go apeshit at me and say that I'm a bitch and that I'm dirty and that he planned on getting back together with me in the future etc and how dare I betray him. He then threatened to ruin my reputation and let people know about how much of a slut I am. Fast forward to last week when he suddenly contacted me again to make amends and he apologised for being a thundercunt. I have no feelings or hard feelings towards him although I know I should. The only thing I feel is jealousy because his new girl is gorgeous and keeps plastering herself all over social media.

No. 82932

>>82929
Just cut all connections w the guy honestly. Problem solved

No. 82936

>>82929
Tell him to fuck himself sideways. He's an asshole manipulator and you don't need that in your life. Nobody does. He is human trash.

Even if he wants to act all nice, block his pathetic self. Let him apologise to the air.

If he calls you a slut, forget it. I don't know any mature adults who would actually treat somebody differently on the word of a lame ex. People who talk about their ex's being sluts are so embarrassing because they never call ladies sluts when they're the ones getting pussy, so we all know it comes from bitterness rather than truth.

Jealousy is normal. Don't pay attention to her social media and don't worry about her.

No. 82951

>>82929
He's a jerk, you can do better.

No. 82954

>>82929
What a hypocritical cunt. Ignore him and move on, don't even waste a thought. Delete anything relating to him and if anyone tries to talk about him just say "I don't want to talk about that" and change the topic and repeat as many times necessary.

HOWEVER if you really do think he'll try to "ruin your reputation", why not take example from that woman who refused to be blackmailed with her own nudes. Print screen every conversation of him saying anything aggressive, or earliest proof of his new girl, bait him into having another sperg again and then just post a nice composite of all of it on Facebook with people tagged in it, letting everyone know that he is dating someone else and so now you are also dating, and you wish him the best and you hope everyone can support you both in this decision.
Do not do this unless it's a last resort though, you will look like a complete drama whore to some, but it's a last ditch attempt to reclaim whatever you can.

No. 83011

>>81144
>>81561
I asked some anons on 4chan and they said that I was very obviously in love with the guy, it gets worse.

No. 83045

I'm a lesbian. The thing is, I live in a third world country where homophobia and hate crime is very real. Hell, there are bombings constantly, people keep dying and I can't just live a normal life when isis is knocking the door. This country is full of terror, murder and rape. I will be graduating this year and move to a bigger city, which means there will be a chance of me dying at every corner. I am so fucking scared anons. I keep having nightmares about the girls that get raped and burned alive. I know I will manage somehow, but I don't think I will have a love life until I get the fuck out of this shit hole. If you think different, you are outed and ignored. If you're gay, then you'll be raped. The country is slowly becoming 1984.
Back to the topic… I've only came out to my mom. She was shocked and grossed out at first. I mean, my grandfather was a priest so it's only expected. She thinks being gay is wrong, especially in this country. She's right actually, if you're out as a gay then you have no chance to be taken seriously, no chance of getting a job.
Honestly, getting out of this country is my priority, so i will stay in the closet as long as I can.
If you've read this far, thank you for getting through all off my blabbings. I'm just very stressed out, so I would appreciate any advice or reply from you guys.

No. 83054

>>83045
Let me guess, you're from Turkey?
-___- sorry dont feel sorry if you are. If you're from turkey just stay there. Its just as safe in turkey as it is in paris and brussel, so pretty safe. If youre not from turkey (idk where the hell you are supposed to be from since you mentioned isis) then just stay also.

No. 83055

>>83045
Wow and here I thought being confused about whether I am a lesbian or not was difficult. I'm really sorry anon. Hope you gtfo soon.

No. 83059

>>81144
this is literally how anne of green gables married gilbert blythe.

No. 83065

>>83054
What the fuck kind of reply is this?

No. 83067

>>83054
>>83054
Seriously, she could be from Sweden or Germany instead

No. 83068

>>83045
That sounds incredibly rough, Anon. Do you have plans for leaving anytime soon?

No. 83077

Pretty pissed because my boyfriend and I are visiting my parent's house for a week while my mom's distant neice is seeking refuge here, and on house arrest mind you, for hopping the border. She is fat, 20 and has a baby that keeps my bf and I up at all hours. It is one of our last days here and we were supposed to have lunch with my mom but this fat bitch made my mom drive her all over los angeles and sb for court and parole officer appointments. She doesn't even speak English. She claims she hopped the border because she broke up with a cartel member and he is threatening to kill her. She looks like a fucking refrigerator and I just know she is full of shit. Just using my parents really.

No. 83078

>>83067
She said that she is from a third world country

No. 83088

I want to understand why everyone and their mother claim to have borderline personality disorder all of the sudden.

No. 83092

>>83088
Venus and Margo are trendsetters :^)

No. 83095

>>83077
Whoa fuck those family ties our family tries to tie us to.

No. 83097

>>82114
Where does he live? Check out the legality of that age gap in your country, you could always tip him off to the police. If you were close to the little sister you could reach out to her about it, but only if you 100% know it's something she wants to talk about.

>>82721
For now maybe you can focus on the small things, such as making sure you stay showering, eat properly with your drinks and tidy a bit. These are all things that you can do drunk still, but will help you cope better when you are ready to take some bigger steps. Good luck anon.

No. 83098

>>83045
I'm so so sorry for this horrible situation. I hope you find a way to get out soon. I'm gay, but I live in Canada and there aren't really any issues here…get out safely, anon.

No. 83230

I need to get this off of my mind and I don't know where else to do.

We started talking again. Except this time, you were more forward with your thoughts. There were no riddles. I didn't have to scramble trying to find the meaning behind your words.

Truth is, i miss you. So fucking god damn much that I can feel it physically hurt me. I can feel my heart actually ache for you. Funny, isn't it? That no matter how many times we walk in and out of each other's lives, we are always drawn back to one another. It makes me think of doctor who-out time lines are always off. But no matter that, I will always make room for you in my life. You are the love of my life and I hope that this will work out. You are the only person that makes me feel normal.

No. 83237

>>82749
My heart goes out to you anon, I have some good advice for you though.
Go try a staffing agency, I got a really nice job that pays well and I don't interact with customers. I test technology, I don't even have a college degree and theres talks of me moving up past a tester.
It's worth a shot, my brother did the same and he makes bank in a company that he got through a staffing agency and he doesn't have a college degree.
It's entry level but they'll pay around 3 to 4 dollars above minimum. Worst case you'll be customer service on the phone or email but it's better than face to face. As someone who has done both and has bad social anxiety, it helps.>>82749

No. 83248

>>80845
Listen. I know how you guys feel about men on this website, and I understand but I aint apologizing or leaving. Its a website, what the fuck ever man. For whatever it is worth, I am not a robot or troll. I enjoy this place sometimes and it seems like as good of a time as any to vent.

Basically, I am severely depressed, dysfunctional, have been showing symptoms of FASD my whole damn life (will get into that later), family is ridiculously fucked up and noone knows, am a textbook example of PTSD and other shit. This list goes on. My whole life has been a struggle to keep going on and suck it up. From day one, I have been getting fucked over. It started with my father getting a shitty job and my mother refusing to work most of the time because she is too finicky and a spoiled womanchild brat, so we lived in a mountain village on maybe 25,000 a year. So already theres like no food and my sister would smack me up and take my food, or scream and yell until they took my food and gave it to her. After moving from there and them divorcing, it was downhill. They have everyone convinced they were civil about it, but they have spent years shittalking each other, pitting my sister against me and us against the other parent. All the while, my mother strangled and beat me multiple times when she was angry about anything, especially when she was angry at men. She is a master at existential horror and psychological punishments. She would spend several minutes at a time explaining how I could get left with hateful foster parents or left on the street then picked up and raped like what happens to all naughty little boys who's moms get sick of them. I knew what rape was long before what I knew what proper sex was and was told in graphic detail what would happen and how I would be bleeding and dripping cum from my ass if I went to a men's restroom by myself. I was six the first time they did that.

I fucking wish so bad I could have grown up normal. I really do. Stepfather has done so much good for me, but hes the most steriotypical "beta" (that shit is retarded but can be accurate) male I have ever known. I want to trust women so bad but I cannot and struggle with misogyny and disgust at anything feminine if I dont know somebody. Growing up, I was told to "man up", "stop being a faggot", "be a real man, not a little boy", and threatened with getting kicked out or beaten again. Funny thing? All of this was done by women in the family. And at the same time, no showing aggression, no showing suspicious anger, no looking at women, no masturbation. Apparently that was how rapists, killers, and deviants form. I was taught to be a doormat and always takke a fall for women, no matter what they do. To be a perfect gentleman. My grandfather never once became insulting or purposefully hurtful, but he had his own severely hurtful ideas about manhood. If I did anything about any of it, they right out threatened to get a baseball bat or call the police and say I assaulted or threatened them. Why? "Men need to know their place, this is for your own good." "Boys need to be tamed and shown to stay down". Ive never dated. I had to have them approve of a girl, speak to the girls family before a first date, and they had to know where we were going and doing. Needless to say, I never dated. Ive never had more than four real friends. One of the only girls who was giving me a chance cut it off and buried it all, saying "what future do we have? You know you dont have the money to take me on a real date, just forget it all! Just be a friend." She went on to date a male SJW with a 4 inch dick a grade above us.

Male sexuality was demonized after a certain point, around 10. I have developed so many fetishes and stupid shit. It could be worse but I disgust myself. I specifically remember being evaluated and declared mentally deficient in some areas when I was real tiny. What did she do? Burnt the paperwork and harassed officials and teachers into letting me into regular classes. And what did she do? Treat me like shit for failing them. Sister is the hugest cunt I have ever known. She is a compulsive liar who cannot stop doing coke, partying, fucking and dating sex offenders and drug dealers and being proud of it, then getting upset when I am disgusted with her. She is abusive and a stupid whore. And you know fucking what? As a minority myself, fuck the illegal spics ruining things. Dumb cunts, a majority of them are scum and have no plans to do anything other than breed and stir shit up. Fuck em.

I dont want pitty, I dont want a sob fest. Just fucking read this. I cant stand most men or women, but I wanna be normal and healthy. I know theres a light at the end of the tunnel if I keep studying, working hard, and I work hard to be the most honest and good natured man I can. This is a big part of the reason theres woman hating psychos I guarantee. And just because there is nothing overtly wrong, that does not mean somebody is okay or a family isnt incredibly fucked up.

No. 83249

>>83248
To clarify, it was my mother that destroyed evidence and formed me into regular classes.

No. 83251

>>83249
Oh and the cherry on the shit pie: Got molested my 8th graders and other 7th graders when in 7th grade. I didnt think it would, but it has impacted me. There are fewer things I hate more than people who let themselves be weak victims. Do what you can and work through your damn psychological problems. Be brave man.

No. 83253

>>83248
Wow dude, I can't even imagine. If you ever feel the need to talk about this or complain or anything, let us know, I'm sure many of us (including myself) would be willing.

No. 83255

File: 1458903950571.jpeg (46.37 KB, 620x387, image.jpeg)

This is at best not really anything more than an annoyance, but it really pisses me off when people can't adapt to the culture of the country they are visiting. I'm not talking about like "eat our food/look like and talk like we do" i don't give a shit. What I'm talking about is situations like the one i am in right now. I'm currently on an 8 hr busride through the country, and as is considered common fucking decency here 95% of the passengers are sitting quietly, doing their best not to bother anyone else. If you want to talk, feel free to do so but quietly. Now, I have been on this bus for 4 hours and there are 4 people, right behind me, who wont shut up. They are screaming more than talking, and for some reason constantly calling people and being called. Not having bothered of course to turn their loud ass phones on silent no one in the bus is able to get a second of sleep. Oh and now they're having another call, but this one on speaker!! I can't fucking understand it. If you guys love screaming and annoying people then please ignore my passive agressive scandinavian ass. I'm so tired. Please consider the rest of us and fucking shut up.

No. 83256

>>83248
Well at least you are attention whoring in the thread for attention whores, manwhore.

No. 83274

Welp. I came here to vent about how I feel I have a problem getting along with any kind of people in general but it looks like people has got worse problems going on around here.

>>83248
Man, sounds like a terrible life. I'm curious about you though, mind I ask you some questions?

Do you still live with your sister and those cuntholes? Is your sister younger or older than you?

What are you studying? Do you have any kind of objective for the future? Like, what you want to do with your life after this hellhole.

No. 83286

>>83248
Is there any free/sliding scale counseling available to you?

No. 83290

>>83255
In general, I have issues with people unaware of other's personal space and just aren't considerate at all. Speaking lowly in public, not laughing too loudly, etc is what people should be doing. I can't tell you how many times I take the metro and some asshole sitting two rows in front of me has his headphones blasting where I can practically hear the words on the song he's listening to. Why do these idiots listen to their music so damn LOUD?? Why even wear headphones at that point?
(disclaimer: Please wear headphones because I don't want to hear your shitty, shitty music.)

No. 83309

>>83255
>>83290
Oh God, this so much. I can't even stand people talking to themselves softly, much less blast shitty music in public.

On that note, WHY DO PEOPLE TALK TO THEMSELVES. I can understand reading something out loud to make sure it makes sense, or screaming shit/fuck when you stub your toe, but why oh why do you sit there and narrate the day's events to yourself or complain about what crap your life is. Growing up with a crazy mother sucks ass, this is why this is such a ~trigger~ for me lol.

No. 83320

>>83309
It's completely normal for mothers to talk to themselves because being a mother is very stressing. It's actually really normal to talk to yourself.

No. 83330

>>83309
lol I'm with >>83320, I think most of people "talk" to themselves like in an internal monologue. However it's true that there is some people who's just insane like your mom.

No. 83333

>>83330
Idk. I've definitely got an internal monologue thing going on, but it's literally internal. It's hard for me to imagine the average person having full blown conversations and bitchfests and rants out loud, all to themselves, but maybe I'm just sheltered :|

No. 83335

>>83309
One of my roommates talks to herself and it's insane. She doesn't mumble, she talks to herself like she's talking to another person.

No. 83345

>>83333
You're not sheltered. A lot of people you see on the streets that talk to themselves are off their shit…or they're really angry people that fly off the handle over stupid shit and have to make a spectacle. I only repeat things in a low voice to myself if I'm studying at home alone. Part of growing up is turning private speech into internal speech.

No. 83347

Fuck, I don't know what to do. I'm feeling really stressed over getting together with a friend tomorrow and tbh I'm not looking forward to it. I wish there was a nice way to say no when someone asks if you want to do something together. I rarely leave the house for anything like that and I just wish it would rain or something so things will get cancelled.

I also get really conflicting feelings about wanting to be left alone/wanting company. It leaves me feeling awful and confused about myself.

No. 83348

>>83347
Are you me, anon? I'm constantly craving human interaction, and then when someone wants to hang out, I get stressed out and find any excuse to postpone.

No. 83349

>>83348
I don't know about constantly but I do get moments where I feel alone and wish I had someone to chat with. Lately it's been often but normally I'm content with being alone.

Although deep down I want to flake and make an excuse I know it won't be convincing and I'd feel much more awful about it if I did.

Right now I just feel ill and uneasy.

No. 83350

>>83349
How do you feel while you hang out with a friend? Do you ever regret it? Or are you glad you did it?

No. 83353

It's been a while since I've hung out with anybody, last time I hung out with this friend was 2 years ago I think. She's made short visits a few times these past couple months though.

Normally when I hung out with her I'd be on edge but 'in the moment' and enjoy myself. Afterwards though, I'd start feeling regret and nitpicking about what I did wrong. It's an awful feel that I wish I could avoid/stop. And that feel kind of comes into most activities that I do in my life.

No. 83357

>>83353
I have similar issues, but idk if we're exactly on the same page, so please excuse me if I'm overstepping. Have you tried journaling about all the things that you think you did wrong, so that you can try to correct them the next time and hopefully stop the cycle of self-doubt?

No. 83358

>>83357
I have trouble being concise and clear with what I say sometimes, sorry. And you're not overstepping.

I haven't considered journaling before, I'm not sure if it'll do me any good but I may try it.

No. 83361

>>83353
I'm like that too! The last time I saw the person that was my best friend at the time was in 2011, and I stopped hanging out with her because of how self conscious about her finding me boring or annoying (my personality seemed to have changed a bit after battling a year of depression). I noticed we had less and less to talk about (because I had no life so couldn't relay any info on what I'd been up to that didn't consist of school and home, and she didn't care to talk about much else).

Anyway, fast forward 5 years later and I haven't spoken to her in months, and prior to that about a year?

Now I nitpick EVERYTHING I say or do at work. Prior to all of this, everyone would say I was too quiet and people didn't really know much about me, and it got even worse during and after my depression. It's like my brain is trying to compensate for all of that and I can't stop talking at work to these 3 specific girls. I tell them all about myself without prompting and relate a lot to myself.

With the other 60+ staff members, I get nervous to even say good morning or hello, which is more of my true personality.

I think that with the four girls, being that I like them so much, I don't want to be forgotten, or for them to think that I don't want to talk to them by being too quiet.

I can tell sometimes they get annoyed and I hold back on saying much besides a greeting some days, but then they won't say much back at all. They always talk with me (except for one who seems to only talk to me when others are around now) and we all laugh together, but I can tell they'd prefer if I were more quiet.

Sorry for basically taking over your post (this is exactly what I'm talking about).

No. 83366

>>83358
I don't think it could hurt in the long run. In the short run, yeah, it will suck to have to confront your mistakes, but think about it: would you rather go the rest of your life making the same mistakes over and over again?

Lol, I am not trying to be some kind of white knight, btw - just someone with similar neuroses who is trying my best to become somewhat normal.

>>83361
>I stopped hanging out with her because of how self conscious about her finding me boring … I noticed we had less and less to talk about (because I had no life so couldn't relay any info on what I'd been up to that didn't consist of school and home, and she didn't care to talk about much else)

Story. Of. My. Life. It is a vicious cycle. I'm currently at home, not really doing much, due to severe depression and a few other comorbid things.

As a result, I cannot advance myself in any meaningful way, because wth am I going to talk about with other people? How I spent the whole night crying because the love of my life got a girlfriend who is actually successful in life and is stable enough to be his partner? Spending the week in bed because I get the worst backaches? Trying to read a fucking picture book and not getting past the first three pages because I can't focus? Come on.

No. 83372

>>83361
Yeah, that sounds about where I'm at. I really don't have much to share with this friend since I've been NEET for quite sometime. I don't have a lot going on in my life and I'm very insecure about being too dull.

I don't really compensate for that though. Only when there's awkward silences I'll feel guilty and feel the need to say something, so I'll usually say the first retarded thing on my mind. You can imagine how successful that is. I don't imagine I could ever comfortably open up 100% to others though.

>>83366
Yeah, won't hurt to give it a try. It's just usually when I make a mistake I have it playing over and over again in my head and it's tormenting. Maybe writing it down will relieve that. I just hope shit will go down smoothly tomorrow and I won't have anything to write but that's wishful thinking since I haven't had a proper social interaction in forever. We'll see.

>Story. Of. My. Life. It is a vicious cycle. I'm currently at home, not really doing much, due to severe depression and a few other comorbid things.

>As a result, I cannot advance myself in any meaningful way, because wth am I going to talk about with other people? How I spent the whole night crying because the love of my life got a girlfriend who is actually successful in life and is stable enough to be his partner? Spending the week in bed because I get the worst backaches? Trying to read a fucking picture book and not getting past the first three pages because I can't focus? Come on.

I wish it was more acceptable to talk about this kind of stuff with people irl. That way we could be on more understanding terms. Any time I try and hint at the antisocial and insecure emotions that I'm going through I get weird looks and it gets awkward. I just wish people would understand. It'd make life so much more pleasant and make it easier to move on with things.

No. 83373

>>83372
Hey anon, if you want to talk to another NEET, I'd be glad to exchange emails and stuff.

Commiserating is good, but I actually do want to get my life back on track soon, so maybe talking to someone in the same situation will help us both.

No. 83376

>>83373
That would be really cool. :3

Post a throw away and I'll email you. Or I can post a throw away, whichever is best. I just don't want my email up on here.

No. 83378

>>83376
All right, just made one. ifitkillsme2016 @ gmail. Looking forward!

No. 83425

>>83361
I've made friends with a coworker exactly like this aw.
I'm sort of the domineering, "mother hen" type friend in the sense that I want to make sure everyone is included and I try to pay attention when someone says something and others aren't paying attention.
I really want this friend to improve and sort of relax and ease into social situations.
I myself have always been completely quiet and in my personal life I choose not to speak but I try to be talkative for others I like, because I like for them to be distracted and lighthearted. It's exhausting though I'll say that.
You'll get better at it.

No. 83440

>>80884
Autism report: I'm working at a restaurant as a dishwasher on the weekends. These, of course, are the busiest days of the week and the guy training me for two hours yesterday was even having trouble keeping up with both of us and I work for azns

Fuck.

No. 83494

File: 1459020525846.jpg (53.36 KB, 634x418, article-2388933-1B3C39A3000005…)

Got hit by a big fucking taxi today and fuck me cars are heavy.
Like it only threw me a few feet so I'm just bruised and scraped but I can't get over the force of it hitting me. Like, it wasn't going that fast at all, the guy only reversed into me. Like, you legit forget how heavy cars and vans are until they smack into you what the fuck.

Felt pretty sorry for the driver though, he was pretty shaken up by it. I wasn't really interested in pursuing a claim or anything since nothing was broken.

After the police were done taking details just got up and walked off to get coffee lel

No. 83500

>>83440
Yeah I feel you, autism troubles. :/

No. 83505

>>83378
Did you get my email anon?

No. 83517

>>83505
Sorry, it landed in my spam box and I didn't even realize. Responding now.

No. 83545

Not sure if this belongs here but I just learned that I won't be able to work my dream career because of my autism.

I want to be a clinical psychologist but I've taken classes on it at university and I'm starting to realize that I can't pick up on the shit I need to in order to do things like diagnose a person or help them get better. I can't even do in-class exercises that people who are taking the class for fun can ace, when they're about stuff like reading a person for signs of certain disorders.

I basically have to rethink my entire career path and I have no fucking idea what to do. I'm probably not smart enough to do anything else psychology related and I feel like I'm going to get stuck working some dead end manual labor job my whole life because the only things I can definitely do right involve working with my hands.

No. 83548

>>83545
You'll be fine anon, sounds like you need some time to freak out and panic and be emotive before sitting down to figure it out. You'll be fine - I had to rethink my entire career twice over because of accidents, pianist then dancer then artist. If you can do decent at tests 'n shit in psychology you aren't nearly as dumb as me anon, you've got this.

Also, manual labor jobs depending on the field can be well paid - I used to make fun of kids like that tbh but now they're working HVAC and infrastructure entry jobs with benefits and shit. It's not all terrible, but it does have a social stigma.

No. 83563

>>83500
Could be worse. A lot of the kids I was in special education with are all but agoraphobic. I still have sensory overload issues and trouble holding coherent conversation and somebody I was crushing on hard totes guessed I was a sperg and I nearly broke down knowing I'll never be a non sperg.

I wish I had something fun to savant in. People do math and cars but I get stuck with an endless knowledge of clothes and textiles.

No. 83572

I don't want to self diagnose myself but I'm almost certain I have ADD. I'm trying my best to convince myself that I don't and it's just an excuse for me procrastinating or whatever. I just feel like an idiot. If anyone else has ADD or something could you shed some light or experiences/symptoms?

No. 83576

>>83274
>Man, sounds like a terrible life.
It can always be worse. I should clarify it started to get better in many ways jr yr of high school. They had been becoming self aware and scared people were noticing something was wrong with us. My mother has melowed out drastically, but at the same time is suicidally depressed and heavily medicated with antipsychotics and powerful antidepressants. its just so weird how shes a shell of herself in so many ways lately. She i think finally realizes how horribly bad she fucked up especially considering enabling, encouraging, and coddling my sisters psychotic behavior has now started to harm her and other parts of the family. Sister had to move back home after uni and is wreaking havoc. Thwyre afraid to try to kick her out considering what shes done previously.

>I'm curious about you though, mind I ask you some questions?

I absolutely want questions asked. I trust noone in terms of talking about this, and right now this is my best way of discussing it with others and spreading the word I guess.

>Do you still live with your sister and those cuntholes?

Only for summer anymore, mostly so i can see my stepdad and extended family members who have been mostly actually positive parts of my life. My father is a trainwreck but i feel bad for him. Went from one cunt to marrying another.

>Is your sister younger or older than you?

Two years older.

>What are you studying?

I wont go into specifics considering my uni has a very one of a kind specific name for it (dont exactly wanna be found). It is basically super toned down computer science that is very business centric. Often leads to systems analysis and database management sort of jobs. I have mental deficits that do affect it but raw effort and being genuine with professors has gotten me far.

>Do you have any kind of objective for the future?

Just for now, wake up happier wvery morning and be confident.

im unsure of what kind you mean, but i will tell you I do plan to have a spouse and kids, and a stable and healthy life. Afford lots of food and a gym membership, have a healthy happy and functional family, and a job i can truly appreciate. I dont starve now and havent since i was small, but still, i feel the stable food and resources is important.

>Like, what you want to do with your life after this hellhole.

Honestly, since my former "friends" all became neckbeards, SJWs, or some other degenerate and I am undecisive, likely a stint in the army. i know i will be a pawn and will basically be whoring myself out to the govt. However, so be it. I am chosing to take control of my life, and thats final. Im not stagnating like the others or freaking out after college when it all doesnt come together. Im gonna join the military and see what positive impact i can have on it seeing as how there so much whining about what a money-hungry corrupt thing it is.

This thread is for ranting anon. Rant!

No. 83577

>>83253
Thanks a lot man. id really like to be able to discuss it. Now that i am in a good state right now, i would like to.

No. 83578

>>83286
I did go to counselling services in middle and early high school, bit stopped as it was not helping as much as it couldve. Another reason I stopped was when i and stepfather found out my mother had been harassing counselors and staff over phone to find out what i had been saying. She wanted me pulled out for that reason anyway.

No. 83579

>>83578
Damn why did i click submit so erly. I meant to include this university does include affordable services, but they are booked literally eight weeks at a time into the future. I kno its not right to always judge, but i get the feeling too many people have it filled because of crybaby bullshit based on what Ive experienced so far.

No. 83588

>>83572
Have you tried seeing a doctor?

Also, speaking from experience, if you're not in a college setting and are not the "stereotypical" ADD/ADHD patient (young, male, hyperactive, dumb), you may have a hard time getting real help :/

Off-label, non-Rx Adderall (ab)use is so common that many doctors are instantly suspicious of anyone who claims they have focus issues.

There are ways around this if you want to experiment with supplements, but that can be risky/takes time, as well.

No. 83590

>tfw fell in love with someone for the first in almost a decade
>she loves me too
>but can't work because she's in another country
>she also has a bf and doesn't want to break it off just for a ldr

I understand, I swear to god I understand but this is so frustrating. I can't get it r out of my mind, can't forget her. I'm so fucked.

No. 83591

>>83572
I have ADD. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 21.

I spent a looong time thinking I was just messy and lazy. I would get incredibly motivated to do things, leave them halfway, and stop. I find that I become unbearably anxious when I either have too much or nothing at all to do.

I take 15mg of Dexedrine when I need it (school or work mostly.) I have never found myself addicted or needing it when I don't take it. I once took two accidentally and just felt uncomfortable. Some people might look down on those taking ADD medication but if you truly do have the disorder, stimulants will make you feel calmer and collected.
One of the things my psych looked at was my coffee and cigarette intake. I drank 5+ cups a day and smoked a pack a day to feel "ready". Now I do neither.

Doctors are always wary of drug seeking, so bring in anything you can to back up how you feel- behaviours, drug intake (caffiene and cigs, but many people with ADD will abuse drugs to feel calm.) and old report cards are definite help.

Good luck anon!

No. 83606

File: 1459099180321.gif (439 KB, 500x254, giphy (2).gif)

Yay the holidays! Nothing better than getting together with generations of family who like to be verbally abusive, sometimes physically. It warms my heart, this is what easter was made for. As the 5'0/100lbs girl I get the brunt of it. I'm just gonna wait out the storm going on upstairs down here with my rabbit and computer. Have a bunny on a piano for easter anons, hope yours is better than mine.

No. 83608

>>83425
thanks, this really made me feel better!

No. 83611

I changed my last name last year because I never wanted to take my father's name and I ended up changing it to something that parallels my first name and I super regret it now lel

People kept egging me on in the beginning and I thought it looked pretty cute on paper, but obviously I didn't practice saying it out loud enough because now whenever I have to give my name or my name is called out at a reception people raise their eyebrows at me and I internally cringe.

I need to apply for a passport soon so I'm going to have to change it again in the next month and change it fast. Oh god lol what was I thinking.

No. 83617

>>83611
yep, you're one hell of a retard jesus christ

No. 83619

I'm still not over my ex who dumped me more than a year ago. It sucks because my friends are still friends with him. Thought I was over him but I just saw pictures of my friends with him from last night and he's doing fine without me. I feel like shit like I can't get out of bed for the rest of the day lol. I fucking hate what a loser I am

No. 83627

>>83611
Like Ana Banana?

No. 83632

>>83611
You sound dumb

No. 83633

>>83611
Change it to your mom's maiden name

No. 83654

>>83588

I am currently finishing up my last 3 months of college (2 years) but I'm not a male. I have some weird thing about taking certain prescriptions. Personally I'm not someone who has a highly addictive personality but I hate to feel dependent on something? I also have depression but the pills I've taken for that I hated so much. Mine isn't as severe so it's not as bad to deal with without medication. I'm just afraid really.

>>83591

>I spent a looong time thinking I was just messy and lazy. I would get incredibly motivated to do things, leave them halfway, and stop. I find that I become unbearably anxious when I either have too much or nothing at all to do.


I do exactly this but do other people without ADD act the same way? Again like I said up there I'm afraid of taking certain pills. My smoking is really up and down. I no longer have a pack or two a day but I'll have maybe 7 in a week. Other than old report cards how else do they really diagnose you? And thank you. Again I don't want to self diagnose so I want to hear more.

No. 83655

>>83627

More along the lines of something like Autumn Wynter kek

>>83633

My grandmother is about on par with my father in terms of awfulness. I'd rather have a name to call my own.

No. 83656

File: 1459134080889.gif (1.58 MB, 600x337, mz98.gif)

incoherent vent coming

Thinking about the future makes me incredibly depressed. I am super in debt for a graduate degree in something I will only be able to get a shitty introductory job for aka minimum wage aka never going to be enough to pay off my debt. I just want to give up. I graduate this fall and I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder to top it all off so assuming I can even get a job in the field (0.1% chance), I probably can't keep it because social shit is impossible for me long term and I have a medical disorder that fucks any kind of consistency up as well but it's rare and not well researched so not something I can get adjustments or help for or understanding. I'm so fucked. 25 and about to lose my health insurance just fucked fucked fucked.

No. 83659

>>83654
I'm currently going through the process and it sucks. I had to fill out a CAARS self report and an observer did one for me (mom). Next I have to go through an interview with my psychologist, even though we've been seeing each other all year and I keep going through the same maddening bullshit even with my antidepressant (while I am depressed, she believes my symptoms are attributed to my depression because many things can mimic adhd). I also have to take a cpt computer test that is supposed to be an objective method but it's really mostly bullshit. Anyway, my old psychiatrist and even my new psychiatrist were/are convinced that I have it, I just have to go through my psychologist.

The issue with people legitimizing adhd is the erroneous belief that everyone can be a little adhd sometimes. When symptoms begin to disrupt several areas of your life to the point that it is distressing you and disabling you from functioning like everyone else—-that's when you really need to see a doctor instead of just believing everyone goes through it.

No. 83661

>>83659
That sounds stressful and seems like that takes quite some time. I honestly don't have time for that right now. School and work take up basically all of my time, once I graduate I should be able to. Thanks for your response, that last part is something I have to think about a bit more.

No. 83662

File: 1459141580901.jpg (37.07 KB, 400x400, HmzR17w.jpg)

>>83655
>More along the lines of something like Autumn Wynter kek

No. 83664

>>83590

I just don't understand, I said I'll try moving to her country then she said we wouldn't be together even then. She said she wanted to be with me before, told me wish I was there instead of her bf, told me she wanted to show me how it feels like to be loved. Why is she doing this? Am I being played with? I'm about to go fucking insane I can't take it anymore, couldn't sleep a wink because of this last night.

No. 83665

>>83661
My situation is stressful because I'm doing it at school. Like other anons have mentioned, it's difficult through that route because they are weary of drug seekers and malingerers that just want to abuse it to cram. In theory it doesn't take long for you and the observer to fill out the scale questionnaire (it took me 3 days because, like I'm sure I have adhd, mom did it over the phone with me). The CPT is only 15 minutes long. I would've had that done by now if the damn thing hadn't broken down just as I got to my appointment. My issue with my psychologist is just relative to my situation (I just feel like she's too focused on the reason why I'm fucking up my life is because of my depression/anxiety).
Honestly anon, I've been taking meds for 4 years and seeing the psych for 2 quarters and all that's done is make me less suicidal, but the problems persist to the point where I have to have my bf manage my grown ass life. Don't let it be an afterthought, seek help before you get so overwhelmed and are unable to function.

No. 83692

>>83664
She liked the attention you were giving her but probably had no real intentions of having this go anywhere since she already had a bf. Either that or it went too far and she felt like she had to go along, maybe because she does like you a bit, but not enough to want to do anything about it, and didn't want to upset you.

This post plays out like an episode of Catfish tbh.

No. 83694

how do you guys live with the shitty things you've done in the past and can never forgive yourself for?

i don't know how to live with myself without wishing that i was dead every five minutes of the day because i can't stop thinking about every stupid thing i've said or done, whether it was ten minutes ago or ten years ago. i feel like i don't deserve to keep on living because i've hurt other people and can never make up for it. i try so hard to be better but i just constantly fuck up.

i made a whole really long post about this but accidentally pressed the back button because i'm a stupid piece of shit.

tl;dr how do you move on from the bad things you've done in the past, knowing full well what you did was terrible but not being able to fix it?

No. 83695

>>83694
>i made a whole really long post about this but accidentally pressed the back button because i'm a stupid piece of shit.
If you're on computer, use the Lazarus extension/addon.

No. 83697

File: 1459161784032.png (74.83 KB, 506x608, 1459122490078.png)

>>83692

Guess I got played again, heh. Finally thought I could experience a bit of happiness then I get kicked in the balls like this. I fucking hate everything. i fucking give up>>83692

No. 83698

an ex friend from years ago is still friends with my friends and every time i see his name i get angry. he wants specific kinds of attention and when he doesn't get it he becomes overly dramatic about it. if you criticise him, same deal.

he's got one friend feeling trapped because he's told her she's the only reason he hasn't killed himself. she has a degenerative disability and only has a few years left at most. he knows this and still puts all that bullshit on her shoulders.

i'd cut him off years ago because he was constantly shittalking another mutual friend who'd cut him off because he's a manipulative asshole.

he's very good at being charming, and now he's claiming to be trans which i don't buy. i think he's doing it to get more attention. it's working. i see his name all over social media and it makes me so angry and i can't even say anything because he's trans, therefore untouchable.

No. 83700

>>83662

It's not actually Autumn Wynter nigga that's just an example.
My first name is pretty common and more natural sounding. It's not THAT bad considering a lot of people apparently don't know the meaning of my first name so can't connect the parallel, but for those that do… eurghhhhhhhh

I need to pick a new last name, something that's normal but flows together in unison….

No. 83701

File: 1459169402065.png (165.38 KB, 1500x2173, 7-Things-Mindful-People-Do-REV…)

>>83694

You have to accept that as humans we have no control over our past, but absolute control over our future.
There is such a thing as healthy contemplation which is in opposition to repetitive mental torture, which is what you're probably inflicting on yourself.
When you're running these thoughts through your head repeatedly you have to consider, who is it helping? Is it helping the people that you've hurt? Is it helping you? How much energy are you wasting mentally flagellating yourself when that energy could be used towards something that's going to help you move forward and grow as a person?

Honestly Anon you sound like the kind of person that would benefit enormously from practices such as mindfulness meditation, which isn't sitting around with your legs crossed or anything, but any action that allows you to temporarily forget concepts such as the past and future and exist only in the present.
Actually playing video games is one example of mindfulness (but not necessarily a beneficial one), because when you're playing a video game you forget all about your past, all about your future, and your mind is concentrated on getting the new piece of armour, getting the new high score, attaining the achievement etc.
Nothing else matters so long as you have that present in mind. You need to be able to harness that kind of concentration and turn it towards yourself.

If you're uncomfortable with your past you're going to spend a lot of time running away from it, but running away from this kind of stuff is like running on a treadmill; you end up moving neither forward nor backward. You also need to try lying down, playing some nice ambient music or some shit and actually try confronting yourself about your past actions.

>"why did I do that"

>"what were the underlying reasons behind my actions"
>"how can I heal from this"
>"how can I use my experiences from what has happened to develop into a better person"

It's going to fucking hurt, but it hurts to remove thorns from ones body, either way they need to be removed eventually.

The phrase "forgive but never forget" also applies to the self you know.

No. 83711

>>83697
>not getting eternally led on and constantly teased and eventually rejected for half of all your love interests
>not having the other half just outright reject you for a multitude of reasons

But seriously, if you're a naïve guy, it's always a possibility that this is gonna happen. I had a relationship like yours and they'll just keep on stringing you along if you're not careful.

No. 83715

File: 1459180165105.jpg (11.84 KB, 480x276, 1459126009982.jpg)

>>83711

That's why I give up, like you said I'm too naive and get played like this every time. I don't fucking care anymore, it took 10 years to love someone again hope this time it never happens.

No. 83736

I think I might kill myself. I tried an overdose a couple years ago but it just put me in the hospital because I guess I wasn't really committed to it.
I've had this awful depression for ten years now. I feel like I never have a second of happiness. My meds have kept me from kicking the bucket for a while but I just don't want to keep going anymore. I dropped out of uni, and tried a college program that I actually loved, but now I'm dropping that too. I had a job I was okay at but I just had panic attacks every time I had to leave the house so I had to quit. Now I'm a total loser NEET that doesn't even have motivation to play video games or watch movies. I don't eat and I don't drink any water so I always have migraines and I'm weak and nauseous all the time. I can't even be bothered to do anything, I'm like a vegetable. I have a meeting to be put on disability assistance in a couple days but I'm scared they'll just reject me. I needed income information from my parents to be eligible and they just won't get the documents for me. I'm on the wait lists for several counseling places and I use crisis services just to try and not die but I'm sick of it and I think I've finally truly given up. Not sure when I'll do it, though, I'll wait and see how my meeting goes I guess.

No. 83739

>>83736
what country are you in? you sound like you would benefit from going inpatient at a psych ward, and i mean that in the kindest way possible. It sounds like you are aware of the resources available to you, but it also sounds like you need a fucking break. Inpatient can provide that break.

No. 83744

>>83739
You're probably right, and maybe I'll be able to ask my parents to take me in if it really does come to me getting about to try and kill myself. I feel like I'm trying to grasp at resources to try and stay alive despite being so certain I just want to die, so I suppose there is a bit in me at the moment that is trying to hang on.
I just get really anxious at that idea because I was on a Form 1 here in Canada after I tried my overdose, and it was really traumatic for me. I was put in this childrens' program since I was a few weeks away from turning 18 at the time and I had to stay there for three days under surveillance. I know it's obvious that the program is to watch kids at risk to make sure they don't hurt themselves, but it was just such a terrible experience for me and I got out of there as soon as I could. They had a psychiatrist that I saw but I found that nobody actually 'talked' with me about anything? I dunno, obviously I didn't want to be there so I had a bad view of it and the adult program could be better or worse. I hate the idea of having my phone taken away since my bf is my only source of small comfort, but I suppose if I really was that close to killing myself it would be good to push myself to be put under watch like that.

No. 83745

>>83736
What the other anon said is probably a good start, but in terms of long term I would look into making yourself useful.
I know that you're physically weak and probably don't want to go outside but doing something useful for the world with that human body, such as volunteering at a local charity shop or if you're worried about that somehow damaging your chances at disability just pick up trash around your area.
The world is really fucking shit, but there are also a lot of people who are having such a bad time that they can't focus on their own lives. If you can't focus on your own life right now, use this body that you have to try and balance out the world, the world is terrible enough.

No. 83748

>>83701
ty for posting this anon.

No. 83750

>>83744
I'm not sure if it's the same in Canada, but I'll be willing to bet adult services will be more focused on talking with you. Sadly, children (underaged people) are seldom taken seriously in the same way adults are. If you go in with the mindset of being open to and seeking help, i bet the people working there would love to help you, and will listen to and talk to you. The other anon mentions making yourself helpful, and although this is a great goal, I think it's important to remember in times of distress to do as on airplanes and put on your own mask first, before helping others. Please take yourself seriously. You sound very intelligent, and sadly, intelligent people tend to want to fight to be independent and to not be "a burden" longer than what is healthy. You know this already, but just as a reminder, when you get help with your mental illness life will gain purpose and appeal again.

No. 83757

>>83665
Thanks a lot for the information. It's giving me a lot more to think about.

Thanks to the anons for answering my questions, I don't feel as stupid as I did awhile ago. I'll seek a doctor in the next few months.

No. 83760

I'm a fucking idiot and I'm probably going to fail my course.
I've always been the lowest achiever on my course, and that's with me already putting in that extra bit of effort to fix my concentration problems, but we had two weeks of holiday and I stupidly spent that time relaxing. Unfortunately it turns out during the holiday everyone was preparing for THREE hand ins I didn't even know we had, because I'm an idiot who doesn't check things online.
I know this is my fault for not checking the online bulletin for two weeks, but I just wish either a classmate or tutor had taken the time to ask if I knew. My classmates aren't my friends and don't owe me anything but the tutors know I'm clinically retarded, and they've never once made any effort to check up on me or to see if I understand tasks. I feel pretty isolated right now.

No. 83806

>>83748

Oh, I'm glad somebody read it.
This kind of stuff, mindfulness, it's helped me expand as a person more than I can communicate. At first I scoffed at the whole spiritual expansion thing because I'd always associated it with religion in the past, not realising that it's entirely separate and highly personal/unique to the individual.

No. 83812

I'm asexual but I'm still romantically interested in girls and I feel like the odds of finding one with no sex drive that I also happen to develop feelings for, and her me, are extremely low. I suppose the easier way to go about it would be some asexual hookup site but I'm really just not the type to ever want to sign up for those, I'm not a very social person to begin with (depression and anxiety never help with these things, although they're mostly under control). I don't make new friends often at all, my class is full of guys I don't talk to, my friends are in relationships with each other (not that I'd date them), so it'd be hard enough to meet someone if I was 'normal'.
I just feel like there are a bunch of relatively large barriers that a person would have to overcome before it's possible to enter a relationship with me and it makes me feel isolated.

I haven't had a crush on anyone in years so I'm not drowning in loneliness or anything, but my friends are all couples these days so sometimes I think a gf to talk to and stuff would be nice and am then reminded of the chances of anything meaningful ever realistically happening with someone.

No. 83821

>>83760
Are you registered with your school's office for students with disabilities? I'm assuming you are. Talk to them about getting you better accommodations.

No. 83823

>>83744
From my experience, you want a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists aren't trained like psychologists so you don't get as much from talking to them.

No. 83826

>>83812
Tumblr has like a million asexual lesbians present. It's the new hip thing at the moment.

No. 83828

>>83826
A tangible gf would be nicer tbh. Don't have to have a sex drive to like hugs

No. 83833

sorry for my bad english.
i fucking hate my friends boyfriend, he is the typical guy who will act nice to you until you notice him or you reject him, he will do literally anything to get you to notice him. it's disgusting.
he checks my friends fb account and calls her out if he see's anything he doesn't like about her behaviour and everytime my friend tells her that the shit he does is really controling and damaging she just tries to excuse his behaviour saying she deserved it because of the way she talked to guys.
the worst part is her boyfriend made up a story about me telling him shit about my friend and deleted all of our facebook messages so he wouldnt get called out once she knew it never happened. its shitty because she thinks i dont know about this so i cant call him out or tell her and show her my evidence because others will get in trouble. ugh.

No. 83856

>>83833
>deleted all of our facebook messages
You can do that? I didn't think that was possibly. I know you can kinda "hide" them, but not actually delete them,

No. 83885

>>83856
You can delete them. It's the way of the fuckbois tbh, my friend once almost dated this dude who deleted all chats he had w girls after chatting with them.

HOWEVER, the other person will still own the messages between the two, so unless this guy got into anons fb it doesn't make sense?

No. 83891

File: 1459275376613.jpg (23.18 KB, 494x494, bruning.jpg)

I feel like shit so it's complaining time:
>went to the dentist 3 times because of a broken tooth
>"anon it's because of a medicine you took more than 10 years ago, it fucked up your teeth"
>feel the gap in my tooth, thank god it's hard to see anything
>pay him for the 3 appointments at once, he take money for 4 appointments because my greedy father didn't want to pay him for his own appointment
>expensive either way, it has been more than a week and I haven't been reimbursed as I should yet
>mfw just enough money to pay for the bus this month
>I buy food for myself but because I live with the shittiest family ever, they eat everything in one go so I have to buy and spend a lot outside to eat
>this piece of trash dentist wants me to get one of these super expensive golden tooth replacement (idk what it's called in English) that's not fully reimbursed

I hate being poor so much, I want my €200 back. I'm supposed to get my scholarship this month but in more than a week so I'll have enough time to starve or eat my relatives' food (the kind of things that makes me think, I wonder if I have some kind of allergy or they're just that bad).
That's not all, I feel like shit in general nowadays but it's the usual "I feel bad because I don't have a job and a bf yet, I have shit grades in college and I bet people talk shit behind my back etc." so no need to explain this all that much I think.

No. 83892

>>83891
*the kind of things that make me sick

No. 83903

>>83885
I mean i have all the proof, i have everything he said to me about his relationship with her and all of that, but like i said i cant just go up to her and tell her he lied about all of that because im not even supposed to know he lied to her about me and our messages in the first place because she told that to our mutual friend, not me

No. 83923

>>83891
>>I buy food for myself but because I live with the shittiest family ever, they eat everything in one go so I have to buy and spend a lot outside to eat
Have you talked to them about it? Ask them if they could set aside some food for you and that you'd really appreciate it. Tell them you haven't been eating well lately.

And yeah, dentists are a bunch of greedy cunts.

No. 83927


No. 83935

>>83923
I talked to them but they just don't care. They think it's because I'm picky but actually whenever I eat at home I just end up spending at least 10min in the toilets. My mother knows and bought me one bottle of milk for people who are lactose intolerant once. I wrote my name on it with "don't drink it" nd everyone else finished it behind my back. So even my mother knows it's useless for me to get my own food.

No. 83975

>>83903
Not your problem. You shouldn't take the fall for someone else's shit.

No. 83981

Jesus not even a whiny vent thread like this would have been tolerated on PULL. No wonder yall are hated irl, stop the fuck complaining.

No. 84008

I did really bad on my chemistry final, I'm not even sure if I'll pass. I think I'm just shitty at everything.

No. 84018

>>83821
Thanks anon, I'm scared to contact them because I ignored an email from them once but I'll do it

No. 84234

/cow/ is fucking shit. Every fucking thread on there is nothing butt "This person is a liberal and I find them distasteful". It's like there's no where on the internet left where I can go to laugh at train obsessed weirdos anymore.

No. 84246

I'm terrified of my parents dying. The idea of literally never seeing them ever again makes me want to off myself, and I will lose it, if not off myself the day it happens.

I keep having nightmares where they die, or getting triggered by seeing parents/loved ones dying in movies/TV shows/etc. I had a fucking break-down the other day after watching a movie where the mother's daughter was murdered. I've started watching cartoons/lighthearted things because I know I don't want to fucking trigger myself and lose an entire day to crying.

No. 84248

>>84246
I get this feel anon. Ever since I was little the thought of my parents dying would make me cry and whenever I got nightmares about it I'd wake up with tears and be disturbed about it for days. It still happens, I admit, but I'm just very close with them.

They're starting to get older and they're health is starting to decline. It's awful and I don't know if I can face the reality that one day they'll no longer be in my life.

No. 84299

I went to a friend's house today and tried to hang out without taking any xanax for the first time since I got my prescription, and it confirmed what I was already worried about; I'm not addicted to xans but their presence was the only reason I tolerated doing nothing but smoking weed and watching tv with these people. I'm currently trying to get off all drugs for as long as possible but I don't know if I can do that without abandoning them. I have other friends that don't smoke but they drink almost every time they see each other and I've never really been into alcohol much either.

No. 84496

Not exactly an emotional vent but I wasn't sure where to post this. I just want to get this out into words because it's been really bugging me and I want to know if there's any cows with a similar experience.

Growing up, I never had any sort of sexual urges and was rather asexual. I had crushes, yes, but never really cared for relationships and never really thought about sex. I've been this way for a long time up until recently, and it's maddening. It's like I got hit full on by hormones and I frequently get horny throughout the day. It's really strange and I don't know what to think about it. For reference, I'm in my early twenties and this has been going on for months now, maybe 1/2 a year.

No. 84499

So a co-worker/"friend" tried to pull a manipulative, passive aggressive fast one on me and basically accused me of some vague, paranoid ~you're deceiving me~ bullshit and it was…weird. Funny thing is, it's all in her head. And for whatever reason instead of dropping the loon for taking her paranoia out on me and trying to manipulate me into God knows what, I'm probably going to still be nice to her, although at this point I don't want to associate with her for being so creepy.

This is dumb as shit but I'm annoyed at myself rn for putting up with anything, makes me feel way too polite. People who are this paranoid about other people who don't even let them into their personal life (God knows I wouldn't be friends with her outside of work) are usually the ones that are the liars and deceivers. Plus she's lied to me a handful of times now (confirmed, I'm not paranoid, it was stupid things) and I haven't even acknowledged it and brushed it off.

I hate meeting IRL cows that truly believe everyone conspires against them and when they want to search for some sort of flaw in you to perceive you as "bad" they'll twist literally anything to suit their negative conspiracies. Because it's impossible for them to believe you're doing better than them.

Most of all I hate how I'm not going to confront her and say "listen, that was really weird and you're honestly nuts." This is becoming a cycle where I'm not taking the trash out while I should. This isn't anything I'd ever consider worth discussing IRL so I'm just using this as a recycle bin, I know it isn't a big deal and she isn't a part of my life but I'm feeling mild annoyance and want to bitch you know?
>inb4 who cares
Nah.

No. 84500

>>83654
Sorry for the late response!
I find the difference between laziness and ADD is how it affects you mentally.
I find I will start with a clean organized house and within a day I have EVERYTHING pulled out, disorganized and everywhere. Why? Because I began with a plan to clean that drawer and came up with twenty new ones along the way.
Now, the key part here is how you feel during the "aftermath." I can no longer concentrate to clean up, I feel rushed and anxious and either sloppily try to clean or avoid it altogether.
I also have OCD. Not the cleaning kind, but in the basic cycle of OCD, once I'm stressed out enough, I will do my compulsions and abandon my work, which could last for a few hours. (The compulsions, I mean.)
The key point is that it's a mental disorder. Along with the main symptoms of ADD, you might feel anxious, depressed and sometimes even angry to the point where you lash out at others.
So yes, disorganization is concentration is one thing, but try tracking your moods daily and find a link between ADD-created situations and your moods.

Just to clarify, I have an official diagnosis of ADD, OCD and Bipolar 1. I find that they all intermingle with eachother at times, so take my experience with a grain of salt.
(Though my current medication for the latter two do NOTHING to help my ADD.)

No. 84502

>>84496
It's not weird anon, or I don't think so since I had the exact thing. I thought I was asexual and just didn't care about men but suddenly at 22 I would be salivating if a Tshirt rode up on a guy.
Embrace it, go find what you like, enjoy your life. It's better that it happened to us when we can make more informed decisions and have our own rooms than horny teenagers
ps farmhands not cows

No. 84505

Im losing my boyfriend
I love him but my jealousy stop him from being himself. I cant stop being jealous. I was always abandoned by people so I always fear of him finding a more fun person than me and enjoying spending time with them more than with me.
I dont know how to fucking stop it and we are in long distance relationship so its even harder.
Honestly we had a fight today and he told me that he fell out of love. Idk how true it is since i know he can say things out of anger and I hope he will want to talk to me in a couple of days.
How the fuck do I believe in myself?

No. 84514

File: 1459704906517.jpg (107.28 KB, 425x282, iStock_000014380985XSmall.jpg)

>>84505

Hey Anon, see these cables? This is you.
They're all tangled up, and you're not entirely sure how they got there, but they're still able to be plugged in and they're still functional right, so it doesn't really matter? But them crossing over like this, well now most, if not all, of them are unable to be lain out, you can't stretch them across the room, and you're pretty sure that left in this condition they'll eventually become permanently damaged.

The quickest way towards healing any any mental issues, and pervasive jealousy does fall into that category, is deconstruction.
You need to stop ignoring this mess of cables and begin deconstructing them, untangling them and laying them out flat and figure out which is for what and what goes where.

For starters, why are you jealous?
What are you jealous of?
Is your jealous born of anger, fear, sadness?
Why are you feeling these things?
What are you afraid of losing?
What will happen if you were to lose this thing?
Why do you believe that you'd be unable to cope with this thing?
Is it that you don't believe in your capability?
Why not?
What can you do to begin raising your confidence?

Just a tip; people who are confident and secure in themselves as a person are never jealous. That's what you need to set as an end goal here. If you're jealous it's because deep inside of you, some part of you is horrible insecure.

You need to seriously sit down and start confronting these thoughts, like, seriously, before you cause any permanent damage.

No. 84517

>>84505
I struggled with jealousy ever since I discovered my bf's Twitter and saw all the girls/pornstars/cosplayers he tweeted. It lasted forever but I got over it by exercising and getting in the best shape of my life. I also get dressed up and do my hair regularly instead of being in sweats all the time. This improved my confidence and my jealousy definitely subsided significantly. Insecurity is unattractive. Hope this helps I definitely feel you its a struggle. In the meantime tell him you are trying actively to improve yourself

No. 84531

>>84517
>bf's Twitter and saw all the girls/pornstars/cosplayers he tweeted
yeah, it's good that you embraced an open relationship, you were being just insecure indeed

No. 84540

>>84517
Jesus christ this reminds me of my cousin's boyfriend who follows suicide girls on facebook and my poor gran probably has to see him share softcore porn on facebook. has to be something

Unrelated but I don't think i'd get a time to post this any time else.

No. 84544

>>84531
I mean I would have dumped his ass if he did this during our relationship but this was all prior to meeting me and dating me. He eventually deleted his twitter altogether once we officially started dating but I couldn't let it go.

>>84540
Yes my bf was big on suicide girls as well! I didn't really understand the appeal but I guess they kind of pander to the gamer/nerdy crowd nowadays. Tell him to delete all that stuff on his facebook if he hasn't already. It's dumb and suicide girls suck

No. 84551

>>84544
Not gonna lie, I have a thing (and embarrassed by my attraction) for "artsy slut" girls but suicide girls is just, idunno, stupid?

No. 84570

>>84531
You're nitpicking her good advice.
Her example is about recognising that you yourself are insecure and doing something about it is a good thing, the argument about what you are and aren't confident with your partner looking at is a different matter.

No. 84572

I can't make any meaningful nice friendships and I feel like I'll never have anything like it, because that's all I've ever had since I was a child. Not a single one of them I haven't even admitted any secrets or not fuck up the whole thing by breaking trust. I'll just have "nice, casual" friends with no meaning or substance. I hate small talk because I can't do it well, and no guys want to fuck me. Often I have a really vengeful, disgusting side to myself. Every time I think about the guy who rejected me and his gf, I have really petty, jealous or violent thoughts and I hate it. I hate him, but I hate my attitude to it as well. Not having closure and not letting things go is a huge problem. I will likely live the rest of my life in isolation ad I have noone but myself to blame.

No. 84590

>>84572
Same here. I'm capable of making friends, but I never feel close to them. Plus I always feel like I don't mean much to them.

I've never had a true best friend either.

No. 84600

>>84572
>>84590
Tbh I think the friendships you're after are just things that come with time. I don't spill my secrets to people unless we have years knowing each other and see each other frequently and even then there's some things that I don't say. Maybe the people you're befriending are naturally quite private and it takes a long time to get them to feel comfortable.

No. 84611

>>84572
Kind of in a similar boat. Good friends are rare and hard to come by. I've never had close friendships, no matter how much time invested (and I mean years). Nobody really took a real interest in who I am or what I like and I had to resolve to putting up a facade for a long time just to get along. And I understand the jealousy, definitely.

In a way, I'm content with my circumstances and am fine being by myself for the rest of my life if it comes down to it. There's a comfort and security in accepting that.

Also, why does it matter whether a guy wants to fuck you or not?

No. 84625

>>84600
This is >>84590 speaking. Even the friends I've known since elementary school (I'm in my 20s) I never felt close to. Time hasn't made a real difference, and the people I'm befriending are mostly open, social people.

I get that a grown adult is not going to spill everything to their BFF, but I've simply never had that feeling of close (unconditional?) friendship with anyone. I guess I'm a loner by nature. :/

No. 84630

I think good, lasting friendships aren't necessarily made from time or amount of interaction. If you've ever heard those human interest stories about the one friend they've had for 50 years it's usually linked to some significant event or important characteristic of the person. Like the one friend out of everyone who visited you everyday in the hospital, or something.

And do you need to know every detail about a person's life to be best friends, or do you need to even be mutual best friends? Genuinely curious, the person I consider my best friend isn't someone I converse with often, but we've been friends since high school and I feel like out of all my friends, and including my bf, she understands me the most. She's really outgoing and has a lot more friends, and a lot more closer, long term friends then I have, so I'm probably not her bestfriend (tm).

No. 84634

>>84630
>the one friend they've had for 50 years it's usually linked to some significant event or important characteristic of the person

When I was a kid I dealt with two friends moving away, one abandoning me because her friend that moved away a few years prior moved back, one died, and then I dropped one who did something that really hurt me (and she moved away shortly after anyway) over the course of a few months. At the time, I had other "general school friends", but those were the only ones I hung out with. I eventually stopped being around those school friends as well.

From then on I had/have no friends. I get along with people just fine, I'm friendly and stuff with coworkers and other people who I see often, but, by my definition of what a "friend" is, they are not.

However, there is one person who, while they don't meet my definition, is probably the best friend I will ever have, basically because of what you've said. We met years ago after posting on the same website, and spent a lot of time talking with each other and a small group of other people. We've never met in person (though the topic of "if you're ever in my area…" has come up), but we've emailed and texted and have talked on the phone. They're the only person that I truly, truly care about. I don't even care for/about family members they way I do them. We're both a little mentally screwed up and listen to the same depressing songs and could definitely use better lives, but they showed up at the right place at the right time for me and I am forever grateful. For them, for them being them, for everything.
If there is anyone I want to be in my life 50 years from now, I would hope it'd be them.

No. 84638

>>83440
>kitchen assistant takes day off
>the only other person that helps me out with the dishes half the time
>work at a fast paced restaurant and each customer has like 5 dishes
>lag behind constantly because with two people, the dishwash station becomes like an assembly line and goes 5x faster
>get admonished a few times for my pace
>eventually a waiter that used to dishwash gets sent to help me on slow times

fuck me I hate myself. I can't into sanic speeds and I need to learn.

No. 84647

File: 1459747999409.jpg (22.24 KB, 500x375, ijE6UlG.jpg)

>>84514
Thanks, that was very helpful. I guess my fear of being replaced takes a tool on me.
>>84517
I tried to do that to raise my confidence before too. I still feel shit about myself. Im glad it worked out for you though

No. 84649

>>84638
Ok I work at a busy cafe and honestly it is hard to find a good dishwasher… do you buff/put away the dishes as well?

if so, spend less time cleaning them BEFORE you put them in the dishwasher. just rinse/wipe really quick and put in the dishwasher. it takes less time to get off the few things you missed than to spend ages on each individual plate/fork/whatever

other than that, some people are just.. slow? and honestly not suited for busy environments. we have to trial so many people because lots of people just arent fast enough, this goes for front of house as well

if all else fails try copious amounts of coffee and stimulants

No. 84650

>>84649
I buff them, and bring them to different stations around the restaurant. we have a small-ish dishwasher you put dishes it Of course I hose them down and brush off what I can before throwing them in but the amount of shit man. each person has 5-7 dishes not including silverware and the volume just gets to me. Not to mention they also have a small bar and sushi bar. It's good, hard work but the volume of dishes is ridic. There's 5 stations i have to bring dishes to.

No. 84654

>>84650
holy fuck what the hell was I on when I wrote this post. I'm going to bed.

No. 84667

There's so much junk I want to throw away. But I can't get around to doing it. I really really just want to toss this stuff as opposed to selling/donating. Which makes me feel bad. But for me it's more convenient to just throw it in a garbage bag and be done with it. Seems like tossing stuff would be way easier even if its a waste.

I really really hate myself for this.

No. 84690

>>80854
nobody cares but I finally found out who the person on instagram was by pulling some real detective shit on tiny details in their photos and it's not my abusive ex, it's just a completely normal seeming person I've only met twice. I feel so relived but also now it's going to be awkward for me if I see them because I know their private kinks. I'm going to try really hard to not to tell them or my friends because people have a right to online privacy but I'm such a blabbermouth, and it's confirming my suspicions that there are a few people in the jfashion community with secret ageplay kinks.

No. 84797

I was pretty upset today. As I got on the train to go home, I noticed a girl in her late teens/early 20s with bright red hair and a rather large jacket on that was left unzipped. Underneath she had on what appeared to be a crop top that exposed most of her boobs. Anyway, every guy 30+ was starring at her as though she was the second coming of Jesus. Young guys took a quick glance and looked away, as did 99% of the women no matter what age bracket they were in.

I notice this group of foreigners towards the first exit in the train car taking glances at her. One of them, the one who was almost breaking his neck to get a better view of her, makes his way, along with a rather large suitcase to stand next to her. She was seated right next to the second exit, which I suppose made it convenient for him. I think she notices because she puts on her headphones and proceeds to zone out to the music.

This guy doesn't take a hint and repeatedly loses his balance trying to look at her chest. His pals decide to come over with their 9 giant luggage bags and the girls stare just as hard as the obsessed guy. He then pulls out a phone and takes a picture of her and acts like he didn't when one of the girls he's with says something (by the speed of which he put it away and blushed).

Their stop comes and they get out, only to walk back the distance they did while in the train to get to the nearest exit. What the fuck was the point of following that dumbass if it only took you farther from the exit? Granted, they could have been new to nyc and thought that guy knew best, but they had someone who spoke english and was telling them where to go. I think they just wanted to see some c cup tits too.

I found this all too strange because it's not like Europe has this huge ban on skin exposure, especially breasts, so I didn't understand the need to gawk.

No. 84814

I swear I always thought I had the best intentions. I am nice to everyone. Even if they're creepy/rude/whatever. I'm basically a huge pushover.
Unfortunately it's not that simple… it seems I've lead people on because of that. I feel terrible.
Recently one of my best friends tried to kill himself because of me. I mean he literally texted me that it was my fault. He knew I wasn't interested. But I still stayed friends with him and shit because I genuinely do care for him. Even a close friend who doesn't even know the guy thinks it's my fault.
I don't know. I'm drunk and I feel awful. I just try to be nice no matter what. I can't find it in me to just be mean or abandon people even if it's "better for them". Shouldn't be people be held accountable for their own actions at some point anyways???

No. 84850

>>84797
Crop tops aren't going to be safe to wear outside of beaches (and even there you'll encounter autists) for a long time. Give the world a few hundred years to catch up.

No. 84856

>>84814
Honest advice: Don't worry, just let him kill himself, thank me later.

No. 84857

>>84814
It's not your fault. You stayed friends with someone who knew he was being friendzoned. Don't let people make you feel resonsible for other people's problems.

maybe you should not be friends with him anymore. Maybe he's using a suicide attempt as a way to guilt you into dating him. If that's the case don't let it happen. You will be miserable and feel trapped.

No. 84858

>>84814
No way, these people are not your friends, they do not care about your feelings. If they did they wouldn't blame you for someone taking their own life just because you weren't interested. There is a difference between romantic and platonic feelings. You can speak to someone and be nice to them without wanting to date or fuck them. They should know that but are trying to guilt trip you into thinking you behaved the same in all situations (i.e. you led him on because you didn't treat him like a friend but a love interest).

The fact that this guy would end his life, literally something you cannot gain back, tells you how unstable he is. The fact that he was planning on do it just because you're not dating him seals the deal. The fact that he didn't succeed tells you it goes beyond that and he's just trying to manipulate you.

No. 84878

I think I'm having one of the worst down days of the current down cycle of depression. I don't know though, because I can't feel very much at all. Accidently cut myself at work and it was the most I've felt for days which scared me because its so tempting to cut on purpose again and I thought I'd gotten over that shit. I'm about to see my counsellor but I'm so low right now I'm not even sure I can talk to her about it. Tomorrow has to be better right? Even though it won't be because I have to work with someone for half the day who sends my anxiety through the roof. That's probably not helping either. Vent over

No. 84881

>be on vacation
>couple asks me to take a photo of them
>take photo
>ask if it's okay
>they say it's great
>say bye and turn around to leave
>hear them say "wow it's awful"
>feelsbadman.jpg

No. 84898

>>84881
Don't worry anon, they are retards for saying that. Not only did you ask, but they can't expect a stranger to know how to take a perfect picture. You did them a favor. Ungrateful morons.

No. 84899

>>84881
Whenever people ask me to take pictures of them, I always press the button a bunch of times in case it doesn't turn out or they look retarded in the pic. If they look retarded in all of them then clearly the issue is them.

No. 84902

I'm turnibg 21 in July and everyone seems to try to hint me that I should wear more stuff like pic related because I'm "too old" to wear black/grey/white clothing all the time.

It's not that it doesn't suit me or I can't make a good outfit, it's just that I've been dressing like this since I was 13 because my brother, cousins and friends were all punks/alt and it's simply something I grew up with and I was always more of a tomboy. My family and bf just want me to look more "mature" and feminin. The idea of wearing anything like that really makes me cringe. It looks good on other girls but I just can't imagine myself wearing something like that. I don't feel good in light/bright colored outfits, feels like it draws too much attention (which is probably the exact opposite of what it does). I also feel like it's a bit "too soon" to dress this "mature". I didn't really have much of a childhood as a kid because of anxiety and depression - no going out, parties, (crazy) adventures, traveling, dumb shit you'd usually do as a kid/teen. I also regret never getting a facial piercing or dying my hair unatural colors because it was always: "How do you think you'll get a job looking like this?" It's not like I was ever planning to go overboard with this shit, I know there are limits and what isn't accepted at work, I'm not that retarded.

I'm doing my best to adapt to this "mature" look but god it's hard. I've even broke down in tears because of it (I know, pathetic). I guess I just have to shut up and swallow.

No. 84903

File: 1459886302840.jpg (53.65 KB, 500x503, 210.jpg)

>>84902
Sage because it didn't post the pic

No. 84910

>>84902
>>84903
Why do you care so much about what other people say? It's none of their buisness what you wear. As long as you don't dress like an idiot at work or run around in fetish gear in public I don't see any problem. Just ignore them.

There's this expectation especially on women that once you're in your twenties you are not allowed to have anymore fun, don't wear any alternative fashion or have "weird" hobbies, and at 30 you're basically supposed to be a yoga pants normie soccer mom or dead. Many people don't seem to realise that you might have unconventional taste in clothes or hobbies after your teens, so they get irrationally angry over this.

As said as long as you don't offend anyone with your clothes, why give a fuck? Why force yourself to wear clothes you absolutley hate so much? Dress like you want. And as someone who wears clothes that can be considered alternative, let me say, these comments will usually mostly stop, and the few times a year you get to hear them you can just laugh them off and change the subject.

Also, there are places that accept unnaturally coloured hair and/or sublte piercings. And you could always wear a natural coloured wig to work or take out the piercing.

No. 84915

I'm coming to the realisation that if I don't get my act together soon I'm headed straight to becoming the next Ashley Isaacs. I mean I lurk enough here to know that I wouldn't publicise it unless my borderline was getting REAL bad, but otherwise I'm just… damn scared.

I'm not gonna go into deets since this isn't MPA/my personal blog/idfk and I'm on mobile anyway but tl;dr version is me and Trash have roughly the same illnesses and a similar family background. while I've been doing okay and I'm not an asshole just yet, I am slipping up in regards to recovery and I was lurking her thread for unhealthy triggering reasons when it hit me like a ton of bricks that if I stop trying completely I could end up HER in a couple years. On the one hand I know I need to get my shit together and I'm going to try my hardest, but on the other it feels pretty shitty to know that if I hadn't started recovering last year in the first place I'd be a helluva lot closer to being a freeloading white trash spooplord right now. And that's a pretty fucking sad realisation.

No. 84917

>>84910
I know you're right…
It's because of the people I'm around. It's just a very traditional/super christian country.
My mother (dads passive/neutral af) sees me as the family disappointment and she's verbally abusive. About two months ago I bought skeleton hair clips just because and she literally followed me around the house and kept telling me how ugly/useless they are etc until she realized that she won't get a reaction and told me to just kill myself. After more than 10 years this shit does affect you a bit.
My bf's family is also strongly against anything alt related besides tattoos and currently I'm trying to get out get a job in his town so it's also a bit of a problem.

But, yea you got a point

No. 84929

>>84902

Lady you can dress however you like. I'm 25 in August and I still dress like I got rejected from kunoichi school.

No. 84932

>>84929
>>84902

Forgot to add, as you get older you probably will find that little bits of colour slip into your daily dress. It's just something that comes with time and evolving tastes.

The other day I bought a 'salmon' Summer dress - SALMON!

No. 84987

File: 1459940045988.jpg (24.7 KB, 552x237, FB_IMG_1458837097660.jpg)

>tfw getting ghosted by crush

That's what I get for being a crazy obessive little shit, just fucking end my existence.

No. 84988

>>84932
I used to wear all black and grew and honestly I'm still into that. Not because "lol I'm so goth and edgy" but because I'm just drawn to those colors. But I did start buying some blues and burgundy. I even got into brown when I previously hated it.

I do have a green skirt that's nice. I just wish i had gotten it in the next smaller size. But I really wanted it and that's the only size they had left.

I think salmon would look dreadful on me. I like lavender but like light blue it brings out a weird part of my olive undertone and makes me look ill.

No. 85009

File: 1459951068772.jpg (55.53 KB, 600x338, image.jpg)

I deactivated my Facebook account a few weeks ago, none of my friends have really talked to me in years and I never used it unless an aunt or cousin messaged me. I expected one of my relatives to ask about it because so many of them use fb but noone's said anything. My sibling texted me one night about how funny and weird one of my posts was and it was a comment I made about a videogame 3+ years ago.

It feels kind of pathetic but at least I don't have to see all the emails in my inbox anymore.

No. 85014

>>85009
Sorry about what your sibling said, anon. Really strange that they were digging through your 3+ year old posts?

I'm in the same boat as you. I hated logging onto Facebook because my newsfeed was full of people travelling, partying etc. and generally being happy. Didn't have anyone to talk to so I pulled the plug.

Making friends as an adult is way harder than it should be. ;_;

No. 85015

>>85014
Diff anon here, but this is why I stopped using Facebook. I haven't pulled the plug on it because I'm still holding out hope that I'll get my shit together.

They say that everyone looks happy and healthy on FB because people only ever post about the good things, but I literally don't have anything happy to share. People might not be 100% happy, but at least they have friends and family and go on vacation and get married and do stuff. What the hell do I post about, going to target to pick up tampons and vitamins? Because that's seriously the highlight of my week.

No. 85016

>>85015
*meaning that I've stopped updating my Facebook, but I haven't deactivated it

No. 85017

>>85014
>>85015
Facebook has always seemed like a 'Keeping up with the Joneses' kind of thing where people flaunt and compete to show that they're still relevant and hip. It's a vapid circus. If it makes you unhappy (which is no surprise - http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563214001241) stop using it and delete your account. You'll feel much more free, see where your real relationships are, and you'll forget the website within a week.

No. 85021

>>85016
Jesus Christ you guys, I thought I was the only one, this is why I stopped using Facebook. I still look at it sometimes and it's nice that people still tag me in things, but I only respond if people really need to know something (relative's phone number for important news or something).

I gradually got more depressed and anxious after my dog died two years ago (the only thing I loved), then a year ago a guy I'd been seeing for a year and had been friends with for several years (I'm 32 and I've never had a boyfriend because I'm such a fuckup so we were just friends who fucked when he had the time/opportunity) dumped me by simply ignoring me (so I wasn't even sure for months if I had been dumped), and my anxiety went through the roof. FB notifications and messages, then texts got too much like pressure and I couldn't handle it. In the last few months I've started getting palpitations/panic attacks even just at the thought of going to a cafe with a friend or relative.

I've finally gone to the doctor about it though, got a follow-up appointment after some blood tests and an EKG next week.

Sorry for the long whinge, and for what you guys are going through.

No. 85026

I'm sat in a café and there's some mentally disabled guy in a wheelchair going off on the table next to me, yelling and doing that loud tard chuckling and clapping his hands really loudly.

Obviously I would never expect him to be removed from the area or anything like that, dudes obviously having a ball in however much of his brain is functioning, but am I a bad person for being annoyed by it?
Other people are always like "awwww how sweet" when they pass by mentally disabled people, but idk, are those people being sincere? Is that how they honestly feel? Am I shitty person for thinking the constant clapping and tard chuckling is extremely irritating?

No. 85027

>>85026
i feel the same

No. 85031

>>85026
I don't think you're a bad person just for being annoyed. We all have different tolerances.

Low-functioning autistics don't bother me, but I can't stand the medium- to high-functioning ones who don't understand basic social decorum and tard rage when they don't get their way. I think it's because a lot of them are capable of behaving decently but refuse to due to being enabled or whatever.

No. 85045

>>85026
In these situations, if you can leave, you are better off just moving elsewhere.
He doesn't have the same level of ability to just get up and go wherever he wants like you do so enjoy using that ability.
It's the same as when a baby starts screaming, I'm sure the parent would like to be somewhere peaceful too but they're stuck with it, I'm not and so I'm taking my coffee to go or whatever.

As for loud children or functional adults? Tell those fuckers off.

No. 85061

I've developed an unhealthy relationship with food and I don't know what to do. I was never chubby but seeing tumblr and the fat acceptance movement really fucked me up, I started thinking ''what if I am like them and don't even realize it?'' so I started eating way less and way healthier which isn't a bad thing by itself but I also started purging,after the first time I purged I just kept wanting to do it over and over.

No. 85093

File: 1460013231452.jpg (53.9 KB, 600x600, 5aa.jpg)

>tfw chatting with someone you think is cool
>start messaging each other daily
>over think your messages and take extended amounts of time than normal to reply
>every time you hit send you anxiously wait and start nitpicking what you wrote and get really insecure
>tfw this person normally responds within an hour after reading
>been nearly 3 days and no response
>see that he's been online lately
I know I shouldn't care so much but it hurts. I think he stopped responding because I came off like a dull, cringey try hard. Why am I such a faggot?

No. 85095

>>85031
Well you shouldn't confuse meltdowns with temper tantrums. Are they raging because they don't get their way, or because they are in pain? Most people don't know the difference, so they are either enabling tantrums, or punishing someone who is simply in pain.

The point is that they can't understand basic social decorum. They might be able to copy you, or script it, but they can't actually understand it. So if you think not looking you in the eye or not being able to read between the lines is misbehaving, you are wrong. They simply can't do it. It's not that they don't, it's that they can't.

Having a temper tantrum, IS obviously misbehaving, but it's easily confused with a meltdown.

No. 85099

>>85015
>What the hell do I post about, going to target to pick up tampons and vitamins? Because that's seriously the highlight of my week.

Me too anon, me too. I go to uni and come home, rinse and repeat. That's all I do. I know that Facebook is a presentation of people's best, but it still really fucking sucks to see people being happy, even if it is fleeting.

I think what gets to me the most is that it's a reminder that I'm stuck in the same place whilst everyone else is moving forward. They're making new friends, gaining new experiences, getting married, and I'm still a sad sack that can barely even get up in the morning.

>>85021
You sound like you need a good hug anon, you've gone through so much. I'm sorry about everything you've gone through, and I sincerely wish all the best for you and your recovery. Good job on seeing the doctor, it's a huge step in the right direction. Hopefully your follow-up goes well.

No. 85111

>>84299
fucking hell, anon. my anxiety has been through the roof lately and i've been drinking more and more. i don't know how to into sober interaction and when i do drink with people i overdo it and attempt to jump their bones / go mental. i've not had sex sober in 4 years. in fact, i've only had sex sober… twice, i'd say? in my entire life.

i get really horrid anxious thoughts unless i'm drunk, to the point i sit around for hours unable to focus on games or movies, nevermind actual productive tasks.


please relate to me
someone

No. 85112

>>85021
You're 32 and you never had a boyfriend?!?! YOU BETTER NOT BE DISSING THE COWS HERE LEL

No. 85113

I just finished an online test worth 10% of my mark and I want to die. It's open book but even then I was rushing to finish because I only slept for 2 hours and barely studied at all. Then, when the test closed itself, a little window popped up saying I missed a fucking question, even though the indicators at the top said I'd answered them all. Great.

I'm sick of being depressed, I'm sick of having all these fucking sleeping issues, I'm sick of being absolutely fucking worthless because I just can't do anything. I can't work, I can't even study. What good am I for?

No. 85114

>>85111
I know that fucking feel anon. My ex-girlfriend got me onto drinking, and when she left the drinking stayed. The first time I lost my virginity I was drunk and started bawling about getting molested when I was 13 halfway through.(this was at 15 years old)

2 years later and I had started pounding cough syrup regularly, I had some really fucking awful trips. Wasn't enough to stop me. The worst one I ever had was when I was 17 and freaked out after I started bleeding during phone-sex with another girl's boyfriend. Who I started seeing after, again, getting drunk, licking his hand, and then crying about my sexual abuse.

I've been clean for awhile now, trying to make up for my past mistakes and make something of myself, but fuck if it isn't hard. I just can't relate to people, I think that's my whole problem. Even people who share my interests or are kind and sociable….. I just feel uncomfortable around them. Sometimes I think I wasn't meant to be alive. It doesn't matter how many people I surround myself with, unless they fit in a certain niche, I just find myself lonely

No. 85115

>>85114
yeah, me to.

Doing numbing drugs at an early age really fucked with my social skills.
I started alcohol and opiates when I was 15 (I assume by cough syrup you mean Codeine?).
I can stay clean but when I do I'm incapable of social interaction because lack of interest, anxiety, everything.

So I have to chose between either a) being a functioning addict or b) being a sober anxious and lonely mess.

Did you ever try therapy to process the abuse?

No. 85125

>>85115
not so much codeine as dmx. I brought it up once in therapy when I was younger, and the guy stopped me and told me that he was a mandated reporter… At the time the idea of going through with getting him arrested seemed too overwhelming. He's off somewhere in the military now. I doubt he even remembers me.

Luckily, I'm in a place right now where I don't have to deal with any people. Just got out of high-school and am basically living like a NEET, trying to find work. I'm going to college this summer though, and I'm terrified.

Have you ever tried medication? I took zoloft in middle school, and while it screwed up my stomach and did jack-shit for my depression, It made me less anxious.

No. 85132

>>85112
this comment was kinda cow-ish in itself

No. 85166

I've been really bloated for the last two weeks and it looks like I'm x weeks pregnant. Might be IBS or something, don't want to visit a doc bc she always tells me the same shit even tho I've had problems with my stomach literally for years.

What makes me so upset is that every time I try to google some of the symptoms it says shit like "or you could be pregnant". It's starting to really freak me out.

Bf and I had sex on the last day of my period. I wasn't bleeding, on the pill and he came inside me. I keep telling myself that it's not THAT easy to get pregnant but I'm paranoid af because I've never ever been so bloated in my life or had gastric problems that lasted this long. I'm on the pill so I should be fine, but I think I might buy a pregnancy test tomorrow before going to the gym because my mind is killing me ffs

No. 85171

>>85166
I hate that whenever you go to the doc or try to figure out symptoms as a woman you always have pregnancy as a possibility. Anyways, bloating can be caused by so many things. Diet, water retention, your cycle. Hell, I've been bloated for the past week because I ate too much sugar free candy. Take a pregnancy test just in case though, it's always better to have piece of mind. I usually keep a few under the sink just because my period is so irregular I can never really know. Good luck!

No. 85184

I've been in a lesbian relationship with a woman that's really, really beautiful and although I love her and consider her my muse, sometimes it feels difficult to keep up. And she has a disorder that makes her…a challenge but even then we're closer than anything I've ever experienced.

In all ways, I should feel grateful and fulfilled. I've always hated how hard it is to find a committing woman, as they always leave you for men, but I'm finding myself becoming an ouroboros and it makes me feel sick.

I picked up a second job and befriended a man there outside of work. He keeps to himself and to avoid rumors we don't correspond much at work but even my friends point out how sweet he is. He's the most gentle and kind person I've met, and although I've never been attracted to masculinity physically, he treats me so well that I feel magnetically attracted to him and the safety he offers. In fewer words in attempt to keep this somewhat detached, his personality is the most genuine and unique, and he's very wholesome and deserves a lot of attention he doesn't get because of some devestating events in his life and yada yada.

It scares me that I could be attracted to someone like this when I've always considered my girlfriend the object of all my worship and affection. Not once have I ever felt anything for anyone else, and it scares me even more that it's just some random seemingly unassuming dude. I'm quitting very soon with some willpower but it's gonna be really hard for me to ghost him. Plus if she found out she'd probably beat the shit out of me, rightfully so.

I'm ultra aggravated with myself. I should've known that I'd end up gravitating towards someone the opposite of everything I've ever pined for in life. It's some nasty shit.

No. 85185

>>85111
I can't relate to the drinking part but I do get the sobriety in general part. As much as I'd hesitate to recommend benzos to anyone, at this point being on 0.5-1 mg of Xanax around people would be less harmful to you than being drunk all the time, there's no anxiety but you can retain composure. They're a pain in the ass to get a hold of legally though and previous dependency issues might make a doctor decide it's too risky.

No. 85186

>>85132
Sure it is. Kek. :^)

No. 85187

>>85132
Not really.

No. 85205

Welp, I'm going to calm down and rewrite this….

I'm thinking about dropping a group of people I got into recently because I've realized they are pretty toxic, and probably will bring me tons of displeasure.

The thing is, when I go "holy fuck HOLY FUCK FUK THEM FUCK THEEEMMM" I remember they are not that bad, and it would be unfair for them if I went and deleted all my ways of contacting them all of sudden. I mean, I feel I'm overeacting.

To put it with other words, the thing is I know it'll be better for me to avoid them since I've got better (and less toxic) influences, people, and places to hang out. But I feel bad at outing them like this because they are not inheretly that bad and don't either expressly ignore me or mistreat me or whatsover. As stupid as it may sound, they don't realize. They literally don't realize what are they doing counts as ignoring someone…. Also I'm living in a place right now where there is a 7 hours difference with them so not even online contact is easy, yeah.

I'm happy that I can move on but I feel kinda troubled about making as if they didn't exist anymore. Which is stupid because that's exactly what they are doing but whatever…. Also they are always bitching about their bullshit non stop, they don't seem to be able to get over stuff that is literal nonsense, so they are always about their neverending drama and when they are not, it's circlejerking. To be honest, in fact I think I want to disappear ….

No. 85210

>>85111
My drinking is out of control as well. Ever since my first drink ive loved it, it made social interactions so much easier and it made me feel less ashamed over my personality. But im ashamed over myself because my personality is so "much" to handle, and it gets even worse when im drunk. So i just hate myself ten times as much the day after when sobering up. Also im just so bored all the time, i cant stand being sober.

I got into the habit of taking every chance i got to get drunk while young, i was living with my parents and they couldnt see me drunk. So every opportunity i got (maybe sleeping at a friends house) i took, even if it was drinking during the day or with just 1 other friend and not at a party. I got so few chances i felt like i had to take them all. Now i live with my boyfriend so every day is an opportunity to get drunk and i still have that mindset of using every chance.

Im fucking 19 years old and im sitting here feeling proud of myself for not drinking this ~one~ day. Im not even completely sober since i took some ritalin for school. I went on a school trip for 2 weeks and no alcohol was allowed. Even with 2 different narcotic prescribed medications i still couldnt last those 2 weeks, i bought beer and drank alone in my hotel room on the weekend.

Im meeting my psychiatric doctor this monday and weve been talking about putting me on some anti-depressants but he said i have to take liver tests during the medication period and im so afraid theyll show somethings wrong. I have to lie to him and to my psychiatrist because if they find out i drink this much ill be forced to quit my current treatment and go to the addicition treatments instead.

Im so afraid. How much can one drink before it hurts the body? My boyfriend tells me to think about italians that drink wine every day all their lives but i dont know…

No. 85217

My parents are polar opposites and I don't understand how they're still married tbh. Mainly because I recently opened up to my dad about how I am having issues finding jobs, getting places to at least acknowledge I've sent a resume, and how I probably got a degree in something I have no passion for. My mom's typical responses have been angry that I haven't found anything, how I'm not trying hard enough, how so-and-so's kid already had a job, you don't need to get a Masters, and the generic "you're smart and pretty you should be able to find something" sort of things. But tonight, after talking to my dad about it, he's much more understanding I guess? He knows that the job market just isn't the greatest right now, that many of the guys he works with have kids that even have their Masters and are still having trouble, and that if I need to go back to school to get additional certifications/degrees that he would be more than willing to help pay for them if it means getting a degree in something that I like. He also tells me that I underestimate myself and that I am more articulate and well-read than I give myself credit for and it… it just made me feel a bit better I guess? Mainly that a discussion about my future didn't end with shouting or anger or me crying because I can't get my point through.

(for reference, I rarely talk to my dad 1-on-1 about things like this because he typically gets home about 10 minutes before my mom does or they're both home at the same time and my mom takes offence to me only talking to him and not both of them at once or only her. It's hard to explain because I'm so used to conversations ending in disagreement with her that I assume that it how every discussion of my future will go… so it was nice to actually have a positive one for once?)

No. 85221

>>85205
I've been in a similar situation. The best thing to do is fade away gradually. If you immediately cut contact you run the risk of getting shit talked behind your back or wanting to chat that once in a blue moon but coming off like a stuck up bitch or whatever. Say you're super busy with stuff, or let the time difference do that for you, and eventually they'll figure you moved on. In my case it was an online group of friends, but most of the people were preferring to wallow in their self pity while I was trying to better myself. They weren't bad people, just in a shitty spot and not doing much to change it. And I guess if they're already kind of ignoring you, all the better.

No. 85229

Google probably could help you find out how much alcohol intake is appropriate for you.

No. 85275

>>85210
Oh bby, please be honest with your doctor about how much you drink. That will factor in on which medications they could prescribe to you.

You are only 19, so you would have to be a serious, serious alcoholic to have any longterm liver problems. Of course, it depends on your general health, any family history of liver disease, etc, but in general, you just haven't had enough time yet to give yourself anything long term.

The biggest question for me would be, on that school trip…you say you couldn't handle not drinking… But describe that to me. Were you shaking? Were you stuttering? One of the most obvious signs of extreme alcohol dependence is the shaking that comes with wihdrawl. You wouldn't be able to hide it from your classmates on that trip.

No. 85323

>>80845
I'm in love with a heavily psychotic guy and whenever I hear him fighting with the grass or talking to himself it depresses me immensely, I know it's selfish of me to feel depressed because he's probably too ill to love me but I can't help it.

No. 85325

>>85323
hahahaha you're such a loser

No. 85330

>>85221
>most of the people were preferring to wallow in their self pity while I was trying to better myself

Yes, that's exactly what's going on with them, fuck.

It's been years like this already, it's just not funny nor I can feel pity for them anymore. I've had tons of problems, similar to them (that's what got me to hang out with them in the first place), but it's just something dreadful to watch how you somehow manage to keep going and get over stuff and they keep frolicking in the same mud puddle for years.

In part, that's what makes me feel so… Ugh. You know, having them around really helped me these pair of years I was on my worst, it made me feel less lonely and that not the whole world had gone insane. But then they got their own brand of "insanity" to cope. So it is weird, because I feel like I owe them something (gratitude or what you'd like to call it) but at the same time I don't want to owe them anything anymore.

To rephrase it in other terms, they are good when you are depressed and you need someone who may listen to you (if they feel like listening or talking to you, of course, heh), but then as some kind of normal friendship it just doesn't work. It's weird.

Thank you for your advice, tho, I'm already doing something like using the time difference as an excuse. I'm not completely droving them out of my life since I feel I will get back to them once on a blue moon but I guess I just don't have the patience to put through more days of self pity pasive-agressive bs, plus I've got job to do.

No. 85336

>>84987
Welcome to my life anon. We can be lonely together.

No. 85338

my friend broke up with her boyfriend about two weeks ago yet bombards me with multiple messages a day saying how 'noone will love her like him' and how much she misses him. there are only so many of those messages that i can take without being a bit annoyed? its midday and i have already recieved three today. I feel like she should get a diary and write in that instead instead of acting like i'm one. it also gets on my nerves that most of them are her feeling sorry for herself, like the aformentioned 'noone will love me'. i probably sound like a bit of a bitch but

No. 85340

>>85336

It's been a week already since I last talked to her, just got a hey I'm here message from her midweek then she disappeared again. I feel so depressed and unmotivated when I can't talk to her.

No. 85352

>>85340
I've noticed that sometimes people just don't wanna talk sometimes, especially on social media. I'd leave her alone until she's ready. I've noticed this with my girl friends– sometimes they just disappear for a while. Try not to be too insistent, it may come off as weird. I'm sorry to hear that she isn't talking to you. But you may want to focus on your life outside of her if she's not interested.

My crush is a super adorable guy I've liked for way too many years, but I'm an awkward goober so I've never attracted his attention. Too shy to even message him, even though we have a lot of common interests. I doubt he even thinks about me. So I'm spending my time trying to get a really nice body and making myself cute and interesting. Maybe this way he'll notice me, but even not, at least I've improved my own life, you know? It will get better. I'm sorry to hear about your heartbreak friend. Hopefully senpai will notice us both.

No. 85354

>>85352

It's okay, I'm used to it. It always ends like this because I'm an ugly piece of shit and and probably sound like a psycho to her.

No. 85355

>>85354
anon, pls no! I think the same way about myself but you have to realize that you can't victimize yourself and give up like that. People can sense it and it's harder to get to know someone when they defeat themselves like that.

I bet you're not as bad as you think. I genuinely believe that personality and common interests are more important than being a 10/10 in looks. You can make yourself look better, but you can't fix a rotten personality. A good haircut, good hygiene, and a good body can take an average face far. And even then, being a kind, genuine, funny person who is easy to get along with is way more important in a relationship than being a bonbon.

If you think you are acting like a psycho, just step back and leave her alone. Some guys come off like psychos without realizing it, but it doesn't seem to me (with the limited info I have) that you are doing that. You're not texting her every five minutes and screaming at her and calling her names for not texting back, right?

Maybe there isn't a problem with you. She may just not be looking for a relationship. And even if you're not the person she ends up wanting to be with, that's just life. It happens to everyone. But if you use it as an excuse to just beat yourself up, then you'll never allow yourself a chance to grow. If you open yourself up to all kinds of love the world offers, it will come to you.

tl;dr don't give up on life anon, it'll be okay

No. 85357

File: 1460135085140.jpg (318.67 KB, 400x395, 1459947414193.jpg)

>>85355

It's the first time I felt something like love in 11 years, I completely gave up on finding love until I met her. We have same interests, understand each other almost perfectly, she doesn't judge me at all and I can be myself with her for a change. When I confessed to her she also told me she liked me, then she told me she wanted to stay as friends, then this happened.

Who am I kidding, she has a tall, white, good looking boyfriend close to her age. Who would want a 25 year old balding ugly manlet? She probably liked that I was caring about her but then she realized I was a disgusting piece of shit and bugged out.

No. 85359

>>85357
Anon, if she has a boyfriend you should stop pursuing her.

Also maybe she truly does see you as a friend and isn't 'using' you because she likes that you 'care' about her. I'm sorry man, but you can't pursue a girl with a boyfriend and expect her to drop him for you, especially if you see her as some sort of idealized version of a person that you project your insecurities onto.

No. 85360

>>85357
go back to r9k

No. 85361

>>85357
As someone who is currently seeing an older guy who's short and shaves his head um. Just - um. It might be your personality and persecution complex.

No. 85363

>>85275
The doctor needs to know how much just so he doesn't potentially prescribe her something that will fuck her up. I know retards that roll and didn't know you can't be on an ssri and roll.

No. 85364

>>85360

I haven't been there for months, was completely depression and insecurity free until this moment. I'm not going back there ever again.

>>85359

I did, it's a lost cause, I know it when I lose. Doesn't make it less depressing tho.

>>85361

Don't know, my personality is not that bad I think. I just can get a bit severe when I like someone but I'm usually mellow, polite and kind from what people says.

No. 85366

>>85364
You definitely have some kind of persecution complex. Maybe you should work on yourself before trying to get with a girl.

Oh, and don't try to get with girls that already have boyfriends. So scummy.

No. 85368

>>85366

I'm just frustrated because I can't be with the girl I love, it doesn't make me a scum. It's always us ugly creeps that are the bad guys right?

No. 85457

>>85368
Being frustrated isn't the issue, mate. The issue is not dealing with the frustration in a healthy way AND trying to get with someone who's already committed. The former is kinda immature and the latter is scummy.

No. 85459

Returned to thinking about an-heroing because uni sucks, don't have time for anything, gained some weight and bf is settling for me while probably wishing for a skinny pretty girl caked in makeup. i just dk what the future could bring that would compensate for this shit

No. 85461

>>85457

Maybe, I know it's a bitch move to make but you can't stop the feelings. Not like I'm forcing her to be with me or blackmailing her, I know there is no way for it to happen. For fucks sake can't someone get sad or feel inadequate without getting slapped with some meme disease?

No. 85462

>>85461
Ur annoying
Why are you here

No. 85463

>>85462

to vent in a vent thread

No. 85466

>>85461
All right, try to win her from her bf and check back here to let us know if it works or not.

No. 85472

i keep having heart palpitations / feeling like I'm about to have a stroke and everybody thinks I'm lying for attention :( doctors couldn't find anything wrong but I'm still having symptoms - for almost a year now - several times a week, and have gone to the hospital (AND PAID THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS) to try to fix it :(

No. 85478

>>85472
Stomach acid?
IBS?
Heartburn?
Muscle spasms?
Thyroid issues?

I have the same problems as you. I've had 2 or 3 EKGs, a cardiac ultrasound, been to the ER, all that jazz. And they have not been able to find anything, except for that one time a nurse told me I had an irregular heartbeat. As for my weight, I'm not exactly fit, but I'm on the thin side.

Recently I've been looking into other causes, including the ones I listed above, maybe that would help you?

No. 85484

>>85478
i've considered that it could be gastric, but it doesn't explain the feeling i get in my brain / the dizziness factor, though maybe that part is anxiety ???

I'm the same as you, BMI is like 19 but i also used to have a heart-damaging eating disorder for many years, and don't exercise now that i am well.

I hate to have it written off as anxiety, because it feels very real and physical and sometimes - like once in the hospital - causes my blood pressure to spike dramatically.

i'll research these things you mentioned some more. not sure about my thyroid, or if they're muscle spasms. i always wished it were gastric because that's so easy to fix

No. 85487

Mommy abused me daddy raped me my boyfriend dumped me lolz sympathize with me i dunno what a diary or a psychologist is

No. 85489

>>85487
This isn't even a decent summary ITT because although there's a lot of stupid shit (as expected) the ones pandering for attention the most are robots. Try again.

No. 85491

>>85489
Oh I forgot the robots too, thank you for reminding. I dont care how to summarize it, I hate these threads to guts as they suck and are whiney. Yes, its /b/ but this is not a place where you can whine unironically about your problems.

No. 85494

>>85491
>>85487

dang, someone's salty for no reason at all

No. 85503

>>85491
You're mad at people whining about abuse but you're here whining about whining, so who's worse? Hide the thread fam

No. 85545

Shattered two relationships/friendships in the past 2 weeks because of my selfishness. Been crying every day. Kill me now.

No. 85559

>>85545
what happened man?

No. 85584

>>85559
Long story short, I was too honest about my feelings/emotions with people who I should have realized in advance would not tolerate them.

It's karma for all the times I've done that to others.

No. 85590

I always scroll past this thread, but today, I am in major need. Move along with your day, nothing to see here, I just really need to get this off my chest.

Hopefully, I can put this into words and coherent sentences. I live in a rural area. It's 15 minutes drive to the nearest town of about 4000 people. There's nothing to do, the job market is quite stale, and your run into everyone you know at Walmart. For me, this is a hellish existence. I've hated country life for as long as I can remember. My boyfriend and I currently live with my parents because of money issues. Like I said, there are no jobs here. My boyfriend makes money by doing contract work, traveling to chemical plants and cleaning them. It sucks. I want to move to a city so bad… There are a million more issues on top if this, but this is the main thing keeping me miserable. I've thought about killing myself, but I don't have the balls to do it. Oh yeah, and I live in the deep south, so everyone around me is redneck trash or a nigger.

No. 85593

>>85590
Oh anon I'm so so-
>nigger
Actually no, you can rot and die in your boondock and nobody will cry. Maybe get fat and pop out some kids to bring yourself some meaning if you don't have the courage to kill yourself, it's not like your life is worth anything right now anyway.

No. 85598

>>85584
you say you were 'too honest' but that sounds like you're trying to phrase nicely that you took a big emotional dump on someone and expected them to clean up your mess. stop that shit anon, it's exhausting and annoying as fuck. don't be that person. you know what you're doing when you do it, you're hoping to manipulate. get your shit together.

sincerely, someone who used to do the same thing to people and lead to years of unhappiness until i stopped.

No. 85600

>>85598
Thanks for speculating, but this is the first time I've tried that shit on anyone. It's not worth it. I'm going to go back to keeping my thoughts to myself.

No. 85601

>>85590
Sounds like you're also redneck trash, anon. Also, you sound entitled as fuck. Sounds to me like your boyfriend work and you don't because 'no jobs' except, seems like he has a job. Sounds like you jsut don't want to be caught working at walmart because muh pride ~oh no one of my peers will see me as a cashier the shame~. Get fucked anon, no one is going to mail you a bunch of cash so you can live your dreams, get out there and WORK for them. And yes, sometimes that means getting shitty jobs you think you're 'too good' for. protip, you're not too good for them if the alternative is being a jobless bum living at your moms while only your BF works. C'mon anon.

No. 85603

>>85600
That's more manipulation anon, btw. Telling people there are two option 1. you emotionally draining them by being a selfish bitch or 2. you withholding all your thoughts is typical manipulation to get your way. Grow up.

No. 85604

Tumblrina bitch, >>85593, you dislike it that she includes the word nigger in her post but dont seem to mind it that she also mentions redneck white trash? An hero yourself nigger.

No. 85607

>>85604
Yeah you're right, red neck trash is also a gross thing for anon to have said and I should have called them out on it too, thanks for reminding me
Anon shitty person all round

No. 85611

>>85601
I don't have a car. Bf doesn't make enough to help me with that. What am I going to do? Walk to work? Also, believe me when I say there are never job listings. They're taken up by people who want to live out their lives here. The only reason he has a job is because he works away.

No. 85613

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>>85607
>>85593
You've obviously never been near a ghetto. Do you live in North Dakota or something? The blacks around here are such racist assholes, it's nearly impossible to not turn against them and be just as racist.

No. 85628

I'M SO MAD RIGHT NOW.

>walking downtown

>group of 5-10 kids, all varying ages (between 9-13?) sitting/standing on wall
>yell at me "HEY BLA BLA (some question) HEY WHERE YOU GOING?"
>I ignore because that's what I do as a fucking adult, earbuds in
>kid runs up behind me, jumps by me while putting his arm around my neck/shoulder
>triggered
>pull out earbud, "what?!", while starting towards him
>"HAHA OOH HAHA" as he backs off still laughing
>I walk away while they're still shouting something

I was so mad, I visualised stabbing the kid, grabbing his head and bashing against the pebble wall repeatedly, pushing him on to the busy road, tried to rationalize it as they're bored and was still pissed.

I was shaken the whole time, over analysing everything, I didn't want to avoid them because I'm a grown ass adult, but I wouldn't want to aggravate the situation, it's my quickest route home from the town centre. Nowadays I'll easily ignore kids, and it's been a while since I was a target in any way either, but for them to actually, physically TOUCH me is what freaks me out. I can't do or say anything to that shit.

Fucking hell, I'm 24 but it was like I was 14 all over again with little chavs everywhere, and you had to plan your route to not run into anyone.


I came up the same way, same side of the road and they were gone, but i think this shit's going to give me a complex, like I'll avoid going that way at certain times of the day, just in case. I don't want to be like that. It saves me so much stress on one hand if I were to avoid it, which seems like the adult thing to do, but then i'm avoiding children for fuck's sake.

No. 85631

>>85628
why not just fucking hit/beat those kids? Why not follow your instincts? No honestly, if someone harasses you just punch really hard once or twice and then get on your way

No. 85633

>>85628
Since you're an adult, you probably could've scared them with an authoritative voice?

No. 85634

>>85628
Since you're an adult, you probably could've scared them with an authoritative voice?

No. 85636

>>85628
Dont avoid that path just because of a few brats. You have just as much rights as them to walk every where, maybe you have even more rights as you are not a chav.
If it happens again: dont beat them up just yet instead do what you would do like you'd do when a grown man assaults you: spray pepperspray in their eyes and run away. If its illegal like it is in my country, suckerpunch the one who touches you. A good ol' suckerpunch will do the job. Shitty kids these days need discipline more than ever and words never help, they wont respect you until you hit them somehow. There were some kids "bullying" me (tbh they were bullying me they called me a whore and threw cola in my face out of nowhere) but I suckerpunched the one who did that and somehow they respect me now every time they see me kek. After that whorekid threw cola out of nowhere in my face I have started to hate kids forever though ugh. They are so violent and fucked up, they seem to stop their violence as long if you stoop as low as them.

No. 85638

How do you guys even get harassed? I mean, I'm not eye-catching really but I never got confronted by little shits or even hit upon some guy. Interesting how this happens a lot to some and yet none at all to others.

No. 85652

>>85638
Depends on the area and who you're with/not with. I never ever got catcalled, and then once I finally got some friends and started going out, all of a sudden creeps were shouting at us from yards away to smile for them.

In my experience they go for groups of girls and not lone weirdos like I was, lol.

No. 85654

>>85631
>>85636

Well I'm weak/slow as shit for one thing, by the time I've registered that this kid's actually made contact with me, he's about a meter away, and any physical violence is obviously intentional and not just a gut reaction. It's also a dangerous move, those were scheme kids, and that kid is probably someone's little sibling, and since I go by there at least twice a day I'd be easy to recognise.

All this went through my head before I had the chance to hit the kid.

Now, in an ideal situation I'd have been able to hit the kid as he was jumping by me, breaking his nose, blood everywhere and saying "oooops! Sorry but you shouldn't surprise strangers like that!" instantly earning their fear and respect. It would be satisfying, but it's a fantasy.

>>85633
I think the kid was shocked that I reacted in anger, his eyes widened and he seemed a little unsure of what to do. But usually just by looking like the adult I am, I get by not being harrassed. If it's got to the point that they're not only verbally annoying me, but touching me, it's probably past the point that I can use an adult voice to stop the behaviour.

No. 85660

My semester is starting soon and one of my friends told me he wasn't going to be taking our seminar class together with me this semester.

For a little bit of background: I'm an exchange student and in my university, you get to (or I think for some people it's actually a requirement) take a seminar class led by the adviser you choose when entering the school. Other exchange students who also happen to choose your adviser go in with you. Last semester was fine and dandy, I made some friends (with the other 2 exchange students who were in my seminar, and some seminar students) but overall I have no friends. I'm a fucking piece of shit loser who's lives in the dorm that only a few other international students live at, I'm in the school of my university that not many international students enter, and I'm just an awkward piece of shit. I really do have a lot of friends at home, but they also like the same things I do so making new friends, especially through them, is really easy for me. But here… I feel like no one likes the things I like and I try not to be a huge weeaboo fuckface in front of them so I downplay a lot of actual interests. Outside of the things I like, I'm feel like just a shitty, boring, bland person. To make matters worse, I fell back into depression due to a number of things and isolated myself even further.

In the end, I really only have that one friend because my other close friend left to study in the US. I didn't meet any of the new seminar students because I would always avoid the drinking parties (because I don't like drinking to begin with), and the one party I did go to with them, it was really hard for me to talk to them because I'm such an awkward fuck. I didn't really meet the other international students either because I just don't know how to talk to people. I had a falling out with my suitemate who was an international student too so lol.

My Japanese isn't all that great- it's subpar at best, and I can only hold a conversation for so long. I get so self conscious speaking to the Japanese students that it just adds onto my shitty anxiety. I'm jealous of my friend (who knows no Japanese whatsoever) who will just talk to our old seminar members and get along with all of them (I only hung out with the same 5 or so people).

I'm just so fucking nervous for this class but I need it because it's the only course I'll be taking that'll (sort of) be taught in Japanese so I can take it safely without worrying about failing (also it's an easy S grade in general).

How the fuck do I make friends, fam? I've been with the same group of friends back at home for years, and I just don't know how to make friends with people who don't give a shit about what I like. I'm trying so hard to be positive and make the most of my time left here because I pissed away last semester by being a stupid depressed fuck, but this one class and lack of friends is making me feel so anxious and depressed all over again.

No. 85665

>>85466

N'ah, it won't work.

No. 85672

>>85491
>this is not a place where you can whine unironically about your problems.
It literally is, idiot.

No. 85673

>>85636
>kids won't respect you until you hit them
Don't have kids please

No. 85684

It's over.

It shouldn't mean so much, but I'm a retarded womanchild who's never properly began or ended any of the screwy relationships I've been in.

It's terrible that I'm upset that he was the one who decided to end it and not me. That was one of my worst relationship fears growing up, and now it's come true.

I'm experiencing some serious delayed onset of emotions. I'm numb right now but will probably be crying later. Ugh, and I was planning on hanging out with friends tomorrow, I don't know if I can. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. I just want this all to go away.

No. 85688

>>85673
Ehm, so what should I do if a 15 year old kid throws cola in my face then?

No. 85692

My friend is chatting with a guy who was in prison for CP. He came up with some bullshit story about how he was framed by the government and most of my friend group believe him even though his story is full of holes - the government had no reason to do that, the guy isn't famous, notable or important enough to be singled out for this shit, he never argued this shit in court, he pleaded guilty and admitted downloading the stuff, etc etc. None of his lies have ever added up and all his actions are the opposite of his words.

My friend works with kids and she's flirting with this guy and chasing after him like it's nothing even though it's gonna reflect badly on her when it all comes out. I told her the guy was a liar and a creep. He's not worth risking her career for. Another friend agreed with me and my friends were complaining about how we're no fun, how we're making it a big deal and how we take things too seriously. They got mad that we didn't believe his story even though his story flips between crazy conspiracy theory and the tragic tale of an innocent hero. It pisses me off that they can justify his bullshit but they're mad at us for thinking he's shitty. Like really? The guy with the criminal record of gross crimes is better than your friends calling him a creep?

No. 85694

>>85688
Marry one of his parents & put him up for adoption.

No. 85696

I started work at a retail store and I have made zero friends. Even the people who started at the same time as me have fully managed to integrate and are all known by everyone.

I'm really upset about it. They all laugh and have fun during the day and after closing while I just silently do my work lol. It's not even like I haven't tried. I have. My sister has even given me tips.


I realised they all have the same type of personality (loud, sometimes obnoxious, extrovert, playful, etc. I don't know how to explain it) and I faked that at the interview.

I just dread going into work now, I feel really excluded.

I don't have friends outside of work, but it's okay as I normally stay at home and have my sister. Now I'm spending 40 hours of my week at this place, I would like people to share it with.

No. 85703

>>85696
You might want to try giving it some time until they stop treating you as the new hire. Do you have a lot of co-workers or is it a smaller store?

No. 85706

>>85696
Do you actually want to be friends with them specifically or do you just want to have friends at work? If you haven't warmed to them as people, it'll be harder to chat to them. Since they all know each other, focus on befriending one of them and you'll be able to get to know everybody in time.

No. 85707

>It's terrible that I'm upset that he was the one who decided to end it and not me
I think that's partially a pride thing. I'm the same way for a while after breakups.

>Ugh, and I was planning on hanging out with friends tomorrow, I don't know if I can.

It's best to do something. Otherwise it's really easy to spiral down.

No. 85708

>>85652
Are you sure you're not just ugly anon? Maybe they're just hitting on your friends.

No. 85711

>>85611
>what am I going to do? Walk to work?

Uh, yes. You sound spoiled. Grow up. Do you think that in cities you won't have to walk to work either?

No. 85712

>>85708
Is severe RBF considered "ugly"?

No. 85713

>>85703
I thought it was maybe because I'm a new hire, but I started with 5 other people and they ALL have made it into the group. It's really cliquey here lol. It's a flagship store, so relatively big.

>>85706
Just want friends at work. Thank you, I'm gonna try this out when I'm next back at work!

No. 85714

>>85707
At this point I wish I'd ended it. So it's definitely a pride thing, don't need no man, preemptive breakup a la George Costanza, etc etc. I'm going to try to put my best face forward tomorrow. Hurray for shopping with friends and 15% off VIB sale at Sephora.

No. 85715

File: 1460265196728.png (298.97 KB, 303x346, tumblr_inline_ni93au0ori1qh5eq…)

I hope this doesn't sound as stupid as I feel it does, but here goes.

Background info, I guess: In middle school and high school I was constantly grounded for one reason or another by my emotionally manipulative mother. I wasn't allowed to leave the house– well, maybe once in a blue moon– except for school activities. She never let me learn how to drive or get a basic job. Basically I spent a lot of time alone in my house, making friends online and watching all of my friends take pictures together and have a lot of fun without me.

I'm 22 now, out of college. For the past two or three years I've had to deal with a huge group of my friends making plans together and not including me, sometimes even a day after telling me they want to hang out or be closer with me.
I see their pics on Facebook and Twitter, all of them having a good time together at events I didn't even know were happening. This happens nearly every week.

I talked to one of my friends today and she told me that nobody bothers inviting me out because apparently I declined too many FB invitations during particularly heavy work weeks so they all took it as a hint to just stop inviting me to anything.
Apparently nobody wants to bother me or they think I don't want to hang out with people so they just don't invite me to fucking ANYthing anymore.

How do I contact my friends and say "hey, please invite me to more events" without sounding like an absolute pathetic sad sack of a human being? I felt like shit even asking my friend why nobody invites me out today…
I feel like I'm destined to be the same person I was for the past 10+ years, alone in my apartment by myself talking to people on the internet, with the only photos of myself being selfies– with next-to-no memories or real life experiences with the people around me.

Hold me, /b/.

No. 85716

>>85715
I relate to this on SO many levels.

Have you tried personally inviting them to something?

No. 85717

>>85716
My birthday was last month, and I invited everyone I could think of to go out together. A lot of them made it, a lot of them said "I miss you so much! We should hang out more!" and then, bam, not even a week later I see them all hanging out with each other without a word to me. I just don't get it. I feel like I must be doing something wrong, or maybe I'm just forgettable? I don't know…

No. 85718

>>85717
Social groups can be hard to break into when people are settled in their cliques. :(

What are your hobbies? Maybe you can meet new friends that way? It sounds like you should be focusing on making new friends - perhaps individually - instead of on getting that social group to include you.

No. 85719

>>85718
I guess it hurts to think about that because they were my "group". We're all interested in the same things and went to the same creative arts school. It's funny that you use the word "clique" because when I was at school with them everyone else called US the "clique" and was trying to break into it, ha. My, how the tables have tabled.

I could definitely try to make new friends, though it will be scary. Thanks for the advice.

No. 85720

>>85719
Honestly, if you're out of school, there's a whole new world to discover and so many new people to meet. It's great to keep up with school friends but it sounds like yours are more trouble than they're worth.

No. 85721

File: 1460271299875.jpg (95.46 KB, 640x631, AGuvd8U.jpg)

Im starting to hate my cousin. She stole 2 brushes (although the first time i might have given it to her but forgotten…i dont know) from me.
She pressures me a lot into doing things and wont let go until i do it or she just gives up and becomes really sulky and sad.
Our grandpa gave her money for me because he owed me it and guess what?she keeps making excuses and only gave me 1/4 of it back. She has no money because she lent her money (and the money that was supposed to be mine) to her friend. I hope i will get the money back.

The most shittiest thing is that she stole my fucking makeup brushes that were a gift from my bf and they were pretty expensive too. As i said above i might have given her the first brush but 100% she stole the second one. Back in christmas when she slept over at my house i lost one of my makeup brushes from the set. I asked her multiple times and she said she didnt see it. Well guess what! I went over to her recently and i saw two of my make up brushes in her fucking makeup brush. What the fuck am i supposed to do? How do i grow a spine and not let her do shit to me???
I know she steals from stores but i didn't know shed steal from me….fuck.

No. 85740

>>85721
Fuckin' steal them back and give her a slap if she says shit.

No. 85742

>>85694
>>85673
you are beyond retardation

>>85636
I can't imagine how better the world would be if those kind of shitty kids at those ages of 14 or so as soon as they feel the impulse to harass and try to hurt girls or even adult women were given a good beating at the slightlest disrespect. I can't help but feel many of the bullshit we encounter as adults roots on those kind of behaviour.

No. 85745

>>85721
Tell your grandpa what she's doing, and take your brushes back and tell her if you ever steal my stuff again and deny it, I'll fuck your shit up.

My sister is the same way and I'm thiiis close to beating her with a broom. I hate people with compulsive behaviors like this/lying.

No. 85774

File: 1460322435696.jpg (86.93 KB, 500x427, image.jpg)

My mother slipped a "self-esteem expo" advertisement under my bedroom door this morning

No. 85781

>>85711
In a city, it wouldn't take me 3 hours to walk. Also, cities have public transportation I could use. We don't have that out here.

No. 85809

I had to sit by myself in one of my tutorials today because my only friend was away. When I say by myself, I mean I had a huge table that could fit at least 6 people to myself, and everyone else were bunched up at the other tables. My tutor loves doing paired work, but since I was alone, I kept getting paired up with this girl who obviously thought I was stupid because I'm shy and didn't say much to her.

We move buildings halfway through the tutorial, so I packed up my stuff and left before everyone else did since I had nobody to wait for. The thing is, as I was walking to the other building, I heard this girl and her friends from the class talking about me. Saying how I packed up my things so fast and apparently give people weird looks? Also other general stuff about me being weird. They didn't realise I was walking in front of them so I turned around to look at them, which shut them up real fast.

I don't know what warranted this? I know I'm weird because I have almost no friends and don't talk to people, but I don't bother people? I don't give people 'looks' or whatever, I just keep to myself. My entire tutorial feels like high school, they've even got little cliques going on. I really hope most of them start dropping the class because this department is small and I don't want to deal with this for another 3 years.

No. 85813

finally bit the bullet.
applied for jobs outside of my distance comfort zone of 25 miles outside of my hometown and went for ones 3 hrs away because I think getting away to a city will be good for me.
hopefully something good comes of it.

No. 85823

>>85809
I'm so sorry to hear this. People can be so cruel.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I was in a similar situation as you, even in college when I was 20. Some things just don't change, unfortunately.

Just try to remember the problem is them, not you.

No. 85850

I think a married man with a child is trying to flirt with me and I'm so confused.
I spent 2 years being obsessed with him, but we were never more than friends. I remember thinking it was a shame I'd missed any chance with him when he got married, and now after 2 years he's sending me flirty messages out of the blue. A small bit of me is a little pleased he's finally interested but most of me is just disappointed that he is the kind of guy to be chasing girls online. He must think I'm easy. His wife is so sweet,I can't talk about it to anyone that might tell her.

No. 85857

>>85850
Sounds like he is looking to take advantage of you. He has a wife already. Any other girl he seeks out while married wouldn't be one kept for a serious relationship. Let him work whatever problems he is having with marriage with his own wife. The old feelings you have for him might still be there, but he is already married. It's over, and you should move on from him.

Don't mess around with someone who is married. It wouldn't end well for anyone involved.

No. 85861

I'm seeing a new psychiatrist at a new place tommorow. I'm so anxious about getting lost, having to go over my history AGAIN, having to explain that I dumped my precedent shrink and looking like a shit patient.
I'm a mess.

No. 85862

>>85275
thank you but the problem is that if he knows how much i drink he wont be able to prescribe any of the medications that im currently using as well as ill have to go to a different clinic that treats addiction and stop all other current treatments (my countrys system is fucked up, you have no right to any psychiatric help besides treatment for addiction if you use alcohol or drugs more than like once a week)

i read about every medication i get so i know its alright to combine with alcohol (not only do i read the government papers about the medication i read online forums as well). if i tell him he'll never give me any benzodiazepines again and ill probably have to quit my ritalin as well. i know that if that happens ill just drink even more.

i was not shaking or anything like that, im not so addicted its just mental i think. i usually just drink on evenings or i start drinking maybe 6-8 hours after i wake up. on that trip i ate much benzodiazepines and i think that was why i could stay away from drinking during the weekdays.

No. 85865

File: 1460406879748.png (329.48 KB, 498x561, 1449115612767.png)

I have a huge crush on a guy that I will literally never have the chance to be with. I'm 100% sure he sees me as some awkward, dumpy, ugly girl, so I never try to talk to him or anything.

Too bad he's constantly in my daydreams and I can't stop crushing on him hardcore even though I'm a total loser whoops

No. 85868

I'm married. I love my husband. He takes really great care of me, loves me, and is really attracted to me. I have it really good and I would never ruin that for anything but I have feelings for one of our shared friends. I haven't done anything btw, besides making him laugh and smoking weed with him with our other friends. But I just feel like if things were different and if I had more of my own shit together I would rather be with him.

No. 85869

>>85861
Don't worry, Anon. Your new psychiatrist will most likely understand where you're coming from. I would just lest your new doctor take the lead when it comes to your history. Also, I've seen a psychiatrist for my depression a few times and the first session can be the hardest but I recommend that you treat yourself afterword to something you love.

No. 85881

I've already moved on from my abusive ex and met another guy who is perfect for me, but it still kills me having dreams about my ex, accidentally seeing our old pictures etc. I know I'm 100% better off without him but I still feel torn up inside when I'm not with him.

No. 85884

>>85881
That kind of pain from an abusive relationship takes a lot of time to be absolved. You have someone to help you but allow yourself a lot of time and patience. Don't be hard yourself. You don't deserve to be treated badly, even by yourself.

No. 85899

>>85881
For a second I thought I had wrote this.
Other anon is right, it's going to take time and even then it's normal to have setbacks now and again.
Delete a or throw out nything or store it on a memory stick/hide it again if you always think of him when you see those things. It's normal to go through what you are going through

I'm attending counselling at a support centre for victims even though I felt that what I went through "wasn't that bad". Don't let yourself minimise things,it's okay to just have feelings even if you feel you shouldn't for one way or another, reach out for help.

No. 85902

>>85881

The moment I broke up with my abusive ex I deleted everything. Even now when facebook gives me old memories I make sure not to block him out of those because I'm still deleting small comments or anything related to him I missed. I feel like shit though. It's been a few years but I still think of him everyday. He somehow comes up. It makes me really sick. I can't believe how much hate I could have for one person. For the first little bit I thought I missed him or whatever. That slowly went away. Hopefully your new s/o can help with that, as did mine.

No. 85905

>>85862
Well then don't tell them how much you do drink. I have a license to work in a pharmacy and I do thorough research as well, so I never worry. At your age your body has great regenerative strength as well as neural plasticity. It's when you get older that it really starts to damage it full throttle. Do you ever feel withdrawal symptoms when you abstain?

No. 85906

I've been really sick the past couple of months and had to go on medical leave from school because I can't stand long enough to do my job. The doctors ruled out all the scary deadly heart problems today, but they think it's pots and I'm scared I won't be able to go back to school because I'm supposed to be on my feet all. I could barely walk five minutes on the treadmill stress test before my doctor made me stop because she was afraid I was going to fall and hit my head.

I'm upset and scared and I hope it turns out okay.

No. 85907

>>85868

You gonna ruin that poor guy.

No. 85908

>>85688
Use your words like a fucking adult
>If someone does something I don't like I should hit them
Watch how quick you get hit back

No. 85909

>>85742
If you think that stopping a kid from doing something he wants by hitting him is as effective as removing his desire to do bad things in the first place with words and perspective, you're the retard. Have fun getting your 5'8 ass jumped on the street because you thought you'd teach some 15 year old a lesson in front of his friends though.

No. 85910

>>85909
well it's a lose lose situation.
You either provoke them by hitting them (assuming they attacked you first)
Or they jump you anyway if you try to quickly walk past to avoid them because you look like an easy target and a pussy.

Honestly though, the real problem is shitty parenting.

No. 85911

>>85909
Just mace the lil nigga

No. 85913

>>85910
Then call the fucking cops or something, they're there so you don't have to take the law into your own hands by beating up 15 year olds.
>Honestly though, the real problem is shitty parenting.
And the solution to this problem is not physical force, nor will it ever be.
I guarantee you hitting a kid will make him resent you, and in all probability, make him want to retaliate or commit the offence again out of spite. You can't go around telling kids that hitting people is wrong unless that person has also done something wrong, because it makes no fucking sense.

And considering that not every well behaved child was hit as punishment, clearly the problem is not a lack of physically inflicted moral lessons.

I don't understand why people pretend they're not just hitting their kids out of anger and frustration, they're not fooling anyone.

No. 85914

>>85913
Goddamn, why are you so rustled?
Did your parents beat the shit out of you as a child?

No. 85917

>>85914
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/good-thinking/201409/is-what-happens-when-you-hit-your-kids

You are dismissing the enormous body of research showing that hitting children, turns them into adults with emotional and psychological problems. This is serious. You shouldn't be surprised that you rustle some feathers, by advocating for something that literally fucks people up psychologically.

No. 85918

>>85917
yeah okay that's very intersting, but you're getting way off base now. The whole topic was more in the vein of self-defense against groups of unsupervised 15 year olds.
No one is suggesting bashing up young children…

No. 85925

>>85918
Well some people were making more generalizations, like: >>85636

>Shitty kids these days need discipline more than ever and words never help, they wont respect you until you hit them somehow


Or >>85742

>I can't imagine how better the world would be if those kind of shitty kids at those ages of 14 or so as soon as they feel the impulse to harass and try to hurt girls or even adult women were given a good beating at the slightlest disrespect. I can't help but feel many of the bullshit we encounter as adults roots on those kind of behaviour.


They think beating would do good, while in reality it would make the behaviour only worse.

No. 85929

I'm a dicklet and I fucking hate it.

No. 85933

>>85929
Dicklets are kinda cute tbh

No. 85934

>>85909
Yeah I agree, once I was raped by this teen boy but I didn't defend myself because I know that if I'd hit him he would get very damaged psychologically and maybe even physically giggles
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/6807862/Woman-raped-by-gang-of-teens-after-asking-for-directions-home.html

I also fucking hate hate HATE it when men defend themselves against women, like wtf! A men should NEVER hit a women!

No. 85935

>>85933

Not really, it's pathetic.

No. 85936

>>85929
I once had a trio with two guys and one guy had this huge ass dick hnnnggg and the other had a small ass dick and I wanted to laugh at him but I was afraid he'd kill me.

No. 85941

>>85935
That's you're opinion, but I'm a bit of a pedo.

No. 85944

AAAAA
AAAAAA
AAAA
IM ADDICTED TO
NOUGAT I CANT STOP EATING THEM I DONT WANNA GET FAT HELP ME AAAAA

No. 85945

>>85934
There is a very big difference between being raped, and someone slightly disrespecting you. That person said, that you should beat someone at the slightest disrespect. And it seemed that the person was referring to parents as who should be beating them. And it has been proven that THAT doesn't work.

Nobody has said that you aren't allowed to DEFEND yourself.

No. 85947

>>85936

He would have probably killed himself instead of you.

>>85941

There is nothing cute about a grown ass man with a 13 cm dick

No. 85948

>>85947
It is if he's petite in my own fucking opinion.

No. 85949

>>85941
Well at least you admit it, now kill yourself cuz we don't need any more of your kind.

No. 85952

>>85949
Make me, it takes all types to make the world go round. You wouldn't have many of your precious lolcows to gawk at if it weren't for us pedos molesting them as children, now would you?

No. 85953

>>85952
wow so edgy anon, do you cut yourself also? that'll really teach society a lesson!

No. 85954

>>85945
Well the anon who responded to that anon clearly said
>Have fun getting your 5'8 ass jumped on the street because you thought you'd teach some 15 year old a lesson in front of his friends though.
Which is why I thought and still think she implied you cant defend yourself against kids. I swear if a 15 year old boy calls me names I'll kill him.


And of course I would never hit my own children. We all love our own farts more!

No. 85955

>>85952
KEK'd tbh

No. 85958

>>85954
In this hypothetical scenario this is a result of being disrespected like an earlier anon suggested, not being attacked. I'm saying if some snot nosed brat cat calls you on the street, ignore him and move on like an adult, it's not your job to teach him morals. Obviously the person whose job it is to raise him decently has done a poor job, doesn't mean you start hitting strangers who disrespect you to 'teach them a lesson'. Also you should stop pretending this desire to hit them is out of a quest to teach them right from wrong, rather than just retaliation.
At the end of the day no one is going to side with an adult who hit a kid without being hit first anyway, so whatever, enjoy the scorn I guess.

No. 85960

>>85958
>Also you should stop pretending this desire to hit them is out of a quest to teach them right from wrong, rather than just retaliation.
Why do you think I said that I'd never hit my own child? I dont want my child to be afraid of me, however I dont care about a random kid.
I think there was also an anon who said that a boy threw cola in her face. Should she have just moved on? Or was her punch justice? Be assertive anon.

No. 85961

>>85958
>At the end of the day no one is going to side with an adult who hit a kid without being hit first anyway, so whatever, enjoy the scorn I guess.
Didn't read this part of your post but actually you're wrong. There was this kid who threw a rock through someone's window and I teared up from joy because something so damn beautiful happened: the owner of the house brutally brawled him. Everyone sided with the man including me. The only fucked up part was that the kid kept saying "I didn't do it" but I recorded everything lel because he kept trying to break the window.

He wasn't 6 or something btw I think he was 14-17, idk.

No. 85968

File: 1460473165385.jpg (31.73 KB, 400x349, 1459219790931.jpg)

If you don't date and marry your crush, how is anyone else supposed to compare?

I met someone that was literally perfect in every way for me but they were dating someone else and are now moving to another state. So it won't happen and it'd be weird if I tried.

I feel like every other guy I meet will be, at best, "good but not him." Is it possible to escape this way of thinking?

No. 85972

>>85968
Are you me? Just pretend that you no standards and stay unhappy like me.

No. 85973

>>85972
Just pretend that you have no standards*

No. 85974

>>85968
If you didn't date him you really have no way to tell how things would have gone long term. Being around someone is very different from being someone's life partner. The only way I can really say to definitely escape that way of thinking though is to just let time pass as eventually you will probably meet someone you are just as infatuated by.

No. 86016

>>85907
I understand but I think that the guy I like actually has a girl friend already.
I think that's the down side of sharing friends with your husband/boyfriend. Sometimes feelings happen. Plus, I like being married and our shared group of friends.

No. 86064

Full disclosure, I have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder or something along those lines. I'm not sure 100% since I've had multiple people tell me multiple things and I don't know if I ever was officially diagnosed. Whatever that's not important I'm only saying that to emphasize that I do not always trust my gut feelings or emotional responses to things because I know I can be a paranoid person and so I try to ignore bad feelings I get about people. The issue is my friends have all started hanging out with this person who really makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I don't know how to explain it but everything about them puts me on edge. I hate their voice, I hate their face, I hate their interests, I hate the people they've brought around, I really despise this person but it doesn't really feel like HATE but it feels more like a general feeling of unease which causes some anxiety and it grows into a more violent feeling when I have to be around them for longer periods of time. I haven't told anyone this, though. They're around all of them a lot and I can't tell my friends to never invite that person around if I'm around based on a gut feeling and a general discomfort around them so instead I removed myself but now I'm pretty lonely. I really don't know what to do. It's not fair this individual has unintentionally and unknowingly pushed me out of my friend group but I am too much of a pussy to stand up for myself and say "This person makes me really uncomfortable and you know I would ordinarily never tell you guys to keep someone away from me but please if you value me in any capacity keep them away." And I think part of me is afraid of what they'll say. That they prefer their company over mine and to have some person that gives me the creeps be preferred over me would devastate me. I think I might be better off never saying anything but I hate feeling like I'm in the wrong here. I know it's wrong to judge someone before really getting to know them but this person makes me so uncomfortable I don't even want to TRY to get to know anything else about them.

No. 86093

Ugh. I'm such a coward. I made my bf cancel my appointement because I had a panic attack about going and couldn't sleep.
Why do I keep screwing myself like this? I definitely needs meds and counselling again.

No. 86094

>>86064
Well if you're borderline, you sure that ~trusting gut feeling~ isn't you just being a manipulative jealous cunt that feels threatened by everyone like the typical BPD-feelz?

No. 86100

>>86064
Margo plz. We know Manaki is ugly and a pedophile but your daughter is 18+ if she decides to fuck a puffy pedo frog with beady eyes let her, you damn kappa. Also your family is also makakas family so thats probably why they hang out with that guy.

No. 86101

>>86094
That's a pretty fair point. I've thought about that and that's part of why I don't want to say anything and I've been trying to stay away while I sort it out. I'm almost POSITIVE it's that jealous bullshit when I'm thinking logically and I haven't over-thought the situation and made myself paranoid but then I keep perpetuating the idea that "what if it isn't bullshit?" so I make myself anxious and angry. I rely on them to tell me when I'm being crazy more than I should so by not going to them I guess I let myself fall into old shitty behavior. I think I really needed someone to tell me I'm probably over-reacting so thanks, anon.

No. 86103

>>86101
Sorry if it came off as harsh, but sometimes it's really needed. I tried to remain friends with someone with BPD for a long time regardless of how much they threw me around and tested my boundaries but in the end they wanted me to coddle them. I was finally like look, you're an agoraphobic inbred loser and that's totally okay but you need to stop viewing yourself as Thee Most Beautiful Smart Cunning Snowflake, see yourself as you are, stop using others as a reflection, stop wanting to be the center of everyone's universe. I'm just so sick of the Internet currently being all-BPD all the time right now and I'm just used to the worst edge of the spectrum, sorry.

No. 86104

>>86103
No I appreciate the harshness, that's really refreshing and what I need. I am fully aware that I can be a possessive and demanding person and a lot of people walk on eggshells around me when I start falling into old. It gets a little frustrating so your "harshness" (I say in quotes because to me you didn't come off as harsh but rather blunt honesty) was well received.

No. 86105

>>86104
*old behaviors

No. 86114

>>85960
Punching someone for throwing cola in your face isn't justified.
I can't believe I have to explain to 'adults' that violence doesn't solve anything, you were meant to learn this shit as a child. There are options besides 'walk away without reacting' and 'punch him in the face'.

>the owner of the house brutally brawled him. Everyone sided with the man including me.

Doesn't mean it was morally justified, just that he got some cathartic revenge, which I'm sure felt great, but if you'd taken the evidence to the cops of him breaking a window I guarantee he'd have not done it again without having to resort to a brawl.

No. 86143

I feel like no matter what I do life is against me. I was born to a very poor family, grew up poor, and due to my lack of effort in education/training, I work a shitty job and I'm poor now. I have no skills or talents. I don't even have any hobbies, I'll play the occasional video game or watch a show every now and then, but for the most part I just spend my freetime doing stuff online, like watching YouTube videos.

I feel so alienated from everybody around me. I have no interest in a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend for that matter. Although that's probably just a phase. Everytime I try to make friends with people, online or IRL, they always seem to blow me off like I'm just some annoying pest to them. Nobody is ever interested in talking to me or hanging out with me, and the few people that are do it out of morbid curiosity.

I can't even say that I'm smart or attractive. I'm pretty dumb, I'm good at memorizing certain things but I'm terrible at doing anything else. I suck at math, know incredibly little about science, etc. I'm not really ugly, I have a weirdly shaped head and I have low sex appeal but I'm just kind of average looking besides that.

No. 86145

Sorry to hop in

Three months ago I got a dog. I've struggled with depression and anxiety/panic disorders for so long, and my dog gives me support through company that really helps me. He is even trained in a few service dog tasks (I'm an aspiring trainer!) that really help in a crisis (he does specific grounding stuff and literally identifies when I'm trying to self-harm and tries to interrupt me, dogs are incredible and so smart Jesus Christ).

My bf is not happy. We've been together for a year and a half and are p serious. He helped me get the dog home (I live not with him, at home with my parents once I became super sick). There was a period towards the beginning where he really helped me look after the dog when I fell in a depressive episode, by walking him a bit whenever he would come over so I could have a break that day.
But he hates my dog a lot. He doesn't like how hyper and playful the dog is and whenever he comes over the dog wants his attention pretty much the whole time and my bf gets so annoyed. He has stopped coming to my place for the past two months, and now we only hang out at his place or go out. I've stopped mentioning my dog in conversation to him.
I've worked on my own to keep up with the responsibilities of having a big dog. It's hard for someone with such severe depression to keep up, but it helps me to have a reason I need to get up and go out. Walking him is pretty much the only way I get outside most days and it's helping me. In short, this dog has helped me in recovery a lot despite how difficult it is.
But my bf's is mad that I got the dog without really considering him. He feels like I signed him up for that reaponsibility without him really wanting it, and he's right. I only considered myself when I got the dog. He says that it was selfish to not think of the future of when we live together, and now I've got this dog that we are going to have all the responsibilities of. He's even implied that he doesn't really see much of a future anymore now that my dog is in the picture. He doesn't hate dogs and he knows I love them, but he says he hates that this dog wasn't one we decided to get as a team, but it was just a selfish decision of mine really. And I see his point but I don't know what to do now.

I don't want to lose my bf, but I love my dog and want him to stay with me.

No. 86146

>>86103
>you're an agoraphobic inbred loser and that's totally okay but you need to stop viewing yourself as Thee Most Beautiful Smart Cunning Snowflake

I feel like I know who this is. Would his name happen to be Caulin? We need to have a BPD thread to talk about out BPD stories, man. I have two in my life and they make life a living hell for everyone around them.
Then again, one has to remember that BPD has a high rate of comorbidity with NPD and sociopath, so it could be that the person you knew had one of those conditions.

No. 86163

>>86146
>Then again, one has to remember that BPD has a high rate of comorbidity with NPD and sociopath, so it could be that the person you knew had one of those conditions.

never a frown with these posts around

No. 86198

>>86114
You sound so white…be ashamed of yourself

t. White nationalist

No. 86286

>>86198
I'm just not under any illusions that if I were to physically retaliate at a 15 year old for throwing a drink in my face it would be justified.
Also why would I give a shit if you're a white nationalist, how is that remotely relevant?

No. 86370

>>86143
So you put zero effort into bettering yourself and you're sad nobody wants to know you?
You should be improving yourself instead of believing the world is against you. So you want to be less poor? Focus on improving your resume, do some interesting charity work, work hard at your job whilst looking for better ones.
So you feel ugly? Get into fitness, eat clean, learn how to use makup.
You feel boring? Read a book every week, get an actual hobby that other people can appreciate, join some sort of community that involves being around other people.

Life isn't easy, sure some people are luckier but you can't expect to have it handed to you. Pick a goal and get on with it anon.

No. 86469

File: 1460681887059.jpg (38.19 KB, 500x493, 77b270100d3da00a93207c1758dc01…)

Recently I've been having a lot of thoughts pertaining to existentialism and my own mortality.
I've been pondering often my concept of self, and come to realise that when I picture myself as a being I don't imagine myself as how I see myself in a reflection, or a ball of energy or anything like that, but when I think of "me" I see my brain and my connecting nervous system splayed out, eyeballs and all.
That is my self. It's me as a consciousness. It's biologically accurate but spiritually shallow and it terrifies me that my version is the more truthful account.

I was talking to my boyfriend about philosophy and spiritualism earlier and he voiced his opinion that because life is effectively one big cyclic exchange of energy, life and death are really more like a bird leaving one nest for another. Considering this I can't think of anything more intolerably cruel. We come into an existence with no concept of us having ever not existed previously, we live for a short while, we toil, we suffer, we experience and we create, and then in the blink of an eye we're gone.
Now I can feel my body decaying with every passage of time, be it a second or a week or a year. Every breath I take feels like a pendulum swinging away towards my oblivion and my ego can't bear it.

Is this babby's first existential crisis? Does the ride ever end? How can I accept my own mortality?

No. 86470

>>86469
I have this same issue too and perhaps its because we're having derealizations questionmarks

No. 86471

>>86470

Yep. I've been experiencing derealisation for a couple of years now. I want to go back to being happy and ignorant again.

No. 86472

>>86469
Increase your own value/meaning of life with culture, morals, activities, religion, consumerism, hobbies, a family.. Or so Social Psychology says.

No. 86474

>>86471
Poor us. I can sometimes not even recognize myself in the mirror. Maybe its just us being crazy and edgy, but I'm not sure. My psychologist says that its because I'm having a lot of stress and she suggests to be busy the entire day by either exercising, going outside, doing something fun or just studying because I told her my derealization episodes sometimes frighten me. But atm I feel calm about it but I just cannot recognize myself in the mirror for a reason. It's so weird my first derealisation episode was when I was 11 (im not underaged im 20) and it hurt my head so much. And then later when my brain got used to this "mindset" I felt less anxious about it unless the episodes get worse and worse (I cant explain it but i hope you understand it, to em there are levels of deatachment of my environment). Although about a week ago my derealization got stronger :^). But now I got used to this deatachment I feel pretty calm about this. Sorry for the blog. But just letting you know that you're not alone.

No. 86478

>>86469
I used to struggle with this stuff when I was younger, but now I just don't care.
Everything probably is meaningless, but I've got limited time until I die and until then I've got bills to pay. Realising everything is pointless isn't going to help me attain a comfy life before I die so I just got stuck in,I want to see the world before I die and cease to exist forever.
I hope you guys can deal with it too, if you really do feel everything is pointless then focus your time on some kind of charity work so that your life might have purpose to other people.

No. 86544

Don't try to kill yourself by ODing on Propanolol. This shit will make you hallucinate like crazy.

No. 86567

>>86474
Mindfulness is maybe something you guys might find useful.

No. 86568

>>86544
wasn't going to, but thanks for the PSA

No. 86591

It bums me out that my parents think I need to gain weight. I've always been underweight for my entire life, but I'm not, like, ana-chan weight. I usually have a bmi between 17.5-18, still have my period, and am happy with myself.

No. 86601

File: 1460780474188.jpg (12.08 KB, 410x206, 1431483889369.jpg)

>>86469
I find myself falling into these thoughts every now and then, but it's strangely comforting knowing that everyone around me will also die. It's the one thing every dickbag in this world has to face. Until then, I plan on enjoying myself with inane hobbies and being stupid with the few friends I have.

It sounds weird, but I try to always be prepared for death. You never know when you might die in a freak accident or from the carelessness of others.

No. 86834

I'm not really all that depressed anymore but this morning I just caved and started cutting again.

And tonight's become one of those nights where I dwell too much on all the shit that made me depressed and then I just started cutting more because I couldn't deal with it. I hate this and I hate myself.

I just… can't get over how the person who meant so much to me just stopped talking to me. Like, picking up on when I used to be even slightly upset and telling me things like, of course he cares and wants to comfort me when I'm sad because he's my friend to just stopping contact with me and barely holding a conversation with me. I can't stop thinking things like "why did you abandon me? why am i not good enough for you?"

Just when I thought I was over it, things just come flooding back.

No. 86843

Almost sliced the tip of my finger last night making dinner. No one even noticed and there were two people in the kitchen. I'm sitting here bleeding all over the damn place and they can't be arsed to get off their tablets to see what happened. I still had to finish cooking while I wore a rubber glove to keep from dripping everywhere. Ungrateful bastards.

No. 86852

Got a hug from my crush. Feels good man.

No. 86854

I'm a fucking lazy good for nothing. I wanna get an adderall prescription to get the motivation to finish high school.

No. 86857

>>86854

>to finish high school


You must be at least 18 years old to browse or post.

No. 86858

>>86857
she could be a mentally retarded independant woman who aint need no man with 5 kids

No. 86859

File: 1461005248539.jpg (101.05 KB, 738x640, 1460392557059.jpg)

>>86852

Mine didn't responded to me in days.

No. 86908

I'm going to kill myself :^)

No. 86909

J-j-just kidding….blub. Vent. Etc. Ignore. Shitpost tears let me scarf down some rolos

No. 86910

>>86859
go back to r9k already dude

No. 86913

>>86854
Don't do drugs, little one.

No. 86933

File: 1461060349683.jpg (259.19 KB, 872x1548, 2016-04-19-11-01-54-227.jpg)

I've kind of hit a brick wall with my language degree where I'm finding it increasingly difficult to remember all the conjugation, positive and negative modifiers, conditionals etc.
I just need time, time to let it sink in, that's all a language is, exposure and time, but I have my final exam approaching and I can't make it absorb any faster.

I don't know what I'll do if I fail this. I don't know how to make "stick" faster.

No. 86934

I'm such a loser. I didn't shower again.

No. 86936

File: 1461063252785.jpg (41.02 KB, 500x490, 1438548921059.jpg)

Why am I so fucking angry? I want to kill everyone around me. All I think about these days is how I would go about killing lots of people. I'm too chicken shit to ever do it, though. Thoughts tend to range between giving poison to kids at the park and shooting up crowded concerts. Again, I know I would never do it. But, whenever I hear about this shit happening on TV, I always feel a bit happy and hope for as many casualties as possible.

No. 86937

>>86936
Holy shit. Maybe you should talk to someone about that.

No. 86940

>>86936
You should seek help. It's normal to feel annoyed by people from time to time, but that shit looks pretty excessive.

No. 86941

I don't do anything and I'm bored to death but the very idea of doing anything sends me into a panic attack.
I wish I had the guts to kill myself already.

No. 86942

>>86934
You're not a loser, anon. I hope you feel better soon from whatever's bogging you down.

>>86941
Could you take up something that you can do from home like crafts, learning a language, etc? I hope things get better for you soon anon.

No. 86943

>>86934

How come?
I know this sounds "eh", because I've been severely depressed before, like on the precipice of suicide, but even then I showered every day, sometimes twice a day, because cleaning myself felt cathartic. Like. it feels like it's cleansing you of every impurity in your life, and when you step out you've been purified.

Why don't you go run yourself a nice, hot, steamy shower, sit on the floor of the shower with your back against the wall, close your eyes and just let the water run onto your head and body.

No. 86945

>>86943
I guess it's pretty much the bottom of depression. I was able to do all that before. Now, only thinking about having to dry myself afterwards, feeling the cold and having to wait for my hair to dry feels like the end of the world.
It's dumb because I loathe myself for feeling dirty and itchy.
I think I really need help. It's pathetic.

No. 86949

>>86945
It isn't pathetic to need help. It shows strength.

No. 86950

>>86945

It's not pathetic to be able to admit to this Anon. Seeking help is the next step though.

No. 86951

>>86945
>>86950

You should definitely go take a hot, steamy shower though. If you can put the heating in your room on too so when you get out you're all moist and toasty.

Sometimes when I'm down after I come out the shower I dry off and then do some grooming over the next 2-3 hours. Stuff like moisturising my entire body, putting some oil in my hair so it's super soft, doing some extensive hair removal, filing my finger and toe nails, clipping my cuticles back and then painting them, trimming my hair if it needs it, filing down the soles of my feet, giving myself a facial with any masques I have kicking around.

You should have a spa day Anon. Like, just roll around in the warmth and treat yourself. Get some tea and shit, add some lemon, and have some fruit too.

No. 86987

I have a risk of sounding like a prude but, while I think there's nothing wrong with some sexual expression or admitting you find something attractive I think the way how many guys go overboard especially on sites on YouTube and 4chan is obnoxious and bizarre. Those motherfuckers seem to get blue balls at the slightest sexual appearance of a fictional character and then talk about it obsessively. I don't get it. Are men's sex drives that high and demented that they get so easily turned on to even the lamest shit?

No. 86993

>>86987
No. I think it's the fact that they're so deprived of any normal or sexual contact that they lose their shit and it's socially acceptable for men to get in a sewing circle and bitch about it. Normie women won't have them so they have to adopt wiffus.

No. 86994

>>86854
Go to a doctor, you might be depressed or have it. You won't know till you get assessed.

No. 87026

I always have fucking diarrhea and I dont know why. Today I did even not drink milk except yoghurt and rice milk and shit is still happening. Help meeeeee

No. 87028

>>87026
Is it possibly a gluten thing? I don't really know much but my friend found out recently why he's constantly on the shitter.

No. 87029

>>87026
See a doctor.

>>87028
They can't know for sure unless they get a test for it.

No. 87040

>>86857
I'm gonna be 19 soon, don't worry. just no motivation to continue school. Been screwing around the last 2 damn years so I'm just very behind.

>>86994
Tried in the past. Nothing really came of it. I don't think I'm depressed and psychologists were just a shitshow, at least here

No. 87041

File: 1461113090974.jpg (29.96 KB, 481x481, Cf24pHrW8AAvOa-.jpg)

I'm so fucking stupid and obnoxious and I always get myself in bad positions.

I pissed off a lot of people and now there's a group constantly talking about killing me and other horrible things, some people even (apparently) drawing horrible porn of me. I'm so angry at myself for basically starting this by being annoying to these people, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to never post, I even went into a selfharming episode as punishment for myself.

No. 87065

I hate waking up everyday feeling like shit. My whole body hurts and I can't even stay in bed because I feel anxious as soon as my eyes are open.
I wonder if it's all the caffeine I drink.

No. 87066

>>87041
…spoon poon?

No. 87072

>>87066
I don't know what that means.

No. 87087

>>87065
I think so, caffeine can worsen anxiety

No. 87128

>>87065
Wean yourself off the coffee, or quit it cold turkey if you can. If you're still anxious and in pain afterwards, go see a doctor about it.

No. 87129

I'm studying at an University and… I failed. I don't know what to do anymore…

No. 87133

>>87129
Sorry to hear about that, anon. If you feel like you're getting burnt out, I think you should take leave and pick it back up next semester if you can? Or just to deal with whatever is happened. Academics is rough, please don't be harsh on yourself for this.

No. 87146

>>87133
Thanks, anon. Unfortunately it's all over. I gues I'll just have to try something else. A dual course of study might be the best option.

No. 87159

Why do I feel the need to hurt myself? Been looking the twitter of my ex and tweets about his gf make me feel nauseated and worthless.

No. 87549

Long rant about bad children incoming:

So I work as an "Activity Helper" at this school, which basically entails watching kids during lunch and recess and cleaning up after them during lunch. The problem with this is that I'm kind of a disciplinarian because all I end up doing is yelling at kids instead of any fun activities like I expected to. When I read the job description when I applying it was literally one sentence long and only mention helping during recess or lunch, so I assumed that I would get to do other activities(like crafts) based on the job title I was sadly mistaken.

Today one girl in particular was really getting on my nerves today, she's a fourth grader Ill call her Spinner.

>Spinner is supposed to be helping with 3rd grade lunch

>Is doing the opposite by kicking trashcans
>Tell her to stop
>She then starts spinning around with the trashcans
>Tell her to stop again and take it away
>Says no and starts spinning with a nearby trashcan
>tell her she couldn't help anymore and told her to go sit at an empty table
>She told me she wasn't going to stop and kept running away
>eventually got her to walk away >Then I tell her that this is why shes in trouble all
>Spinner:I know and a dont care
>Me: You know they won't tolerate this in middle school, theyll suspend you
>Spinner: I dont care, Ive been suspended before
>Me: Thats nothing to be proud of
>Spinner: I dont care

Later during her lunch I told her to stop doing something and she said something disrespectful that I didnt catch (something like "I dont have to listen to you"). This made me more sad than angry because Im guessing that shes neglected at home or something. I mean, how could you not care about being in trouble? She just laughs and smiles when getting in trouble, unlike the other kids who get angry, which is worrisome to me. Sadly shes only one of the worst ones.
(1/2)

No. 87550

>>87549

>I mean, how could you not care about being in trouble?


Sounds like you had a very happy childhood.

No. 87558

>>87549
(2/2)

Other problem kids:
>group of fifth grade boys that are always in trouble and get into fights
>group of fourth grade girls that always get to arguements and fights and generally have bad attitudes
>Fourth and fifth grade overall disrespectful to us helpers with shitty attitudes(even with there peers)
>Kids as young as second grade always cussing, with it getting worse with each grade
>There are even a few kindergarteners that already have bad attitudes

On top of this the man who hired me gave me no training or advice on how to deal with this and didnt tell me how bad these kids are. I got a bit of advice from the other helpers, but they couldnt give me much since they have trouble getting the kids to listen themselves. They said theyve talked to the fourth and fifth graders teachers before but it didnt help. Sending them to the Behavorial Specialist(also the man who hired me) doesnt always help either.

At this point I dont even try to yell at 4th/5th grades anymore because they dont listen and i get attitude and back talking. I only stop fights between them at recess. I did try to give them a punishment by not allowing them to play with balls at recess(because they never get in line properly at the end of recess and continue to play and ignore us, when they do get in line, they wander and play around). But the Behavorial Specialist made me give it to them. So Im not going to try with them at all, he can deal with them.

Ive worked had jobs dealing with kids a lot before because I like working with them. I dont mind doing discipline as long as I can get to know them and do things with them like I have in the past(reading, games, etc). But this job is horrible for me. Im not an aggresive person and i dislike confrontation. I handle it better if I, at the least, didn't get blatant disrespect. Even in another poor area I worked in I didnt get the level of disrespect I get from these kids, its unbelievable.

Sorry this is so long but Ive had alot that Ive wanted to get out aince I started working there in February

No. 87559

>>87550
I did, which is probably why Im having a hard time since I cant relate. My parents made sure I was provided for and gave me alot of love and support at home, which I know at least half these kids dont get. Im really just not the right person for this job.
Honestly, the school should let hirees know what the job really requires and give us some ways to deal with these kids instead of just throwing us out there. I wish I could do more and do a better job but I only see each grade for 30 minutes a day and dont get a chance to get to know them individually

No. 87564

>>87559

Well as a heads-up, when you come into school everyday from a torrid, volatile home, of course you don't care about breaking the rules and getting into trouble. You're raised to be this and that and to be good and respectful, but when your homelife is shit you're consistently seeing everybody around you, mostly your parents, breaking those rules on a daily basis. What's the point in abiding by rules set by the people who're supposed to act as a role model to you when they won't follow the rules either.

Kids like that don't care about breaking rules or behaving badly or getting in trouble because there's no consequence. Their life already sucks, how can it get any worse?

No. 87575

>>87564
That's really sad. I wish school could be a place where they actually have fun and not get yelled at all the time. But America has such a shitty school system; the school district I work at doesnt get much money put into it since the surrounding area is lower class or lower-middle class

No. 87602

>dog I've had since I was very young dies
>feel bad
>dad sends a new one
>it's a Caucasian Shepherd puppy, and he sent it as a guard dog for me and my mom
>he turns out to have rear dysplasia
>dad feels bad about it, sends another one (never asked for this), she's female and has no real problems, but is a bit on the small side and barks a lot
>we try to get a trainer
>can't find one, no calls returned, vet can't get a hold of a trainer for us, etc (I live in a third world shithole country, things like this aren't easy for whatever reason)
>mom urges me not to call dad and tell him we're in need of a trainer
>in the meantime, I try to tell both my parents that both dogs need to be well-socialized so they're not overaggressive/distrustful
>"But then they'll be useless as guard dogs, anon. They shouldn't be too trusting."
>in the mean time, the male pup (now around 6-7 months old) bullies the female pup (4-5 months old) because he hasn't been trained out of that behavior
I'm so fucking angry, I don't know what to do. This breed of dog is known to be stubborn, can grow to be 200lbs+, and if they attack anyone, that's it. No one wants to listen to me or seems to care.

No. 87659

>>87602
Why not train them yourself? You could crate train them and reinforce positive behavior with treats. Take them out for walks more frequently/daily so they'll release pent up energy and be more easygoing for the day. Teach them tricks too!

No. 87667

>>87602
Try taking them to a dog park?

No. 87729

Sometimes I get really frustrated about the way that people perceive me online.
Ultimately it's irrelevant to my actual life, it serves little to no impact, but it still bothers me that there are people that perceive me as being a person that's so wildly different to who I actually am, the kind of person that I myself would despise.
For a while I became scared that they were right and that I just wasn't accepting reality, but it's not like that at all, it's just that people like drama and I can't really chastise them for that when I participate in it myself.

No. 87810

I hate Russians and other slavics(except ukrainians) who speak shit about their own country and glorify america and europe. I hate it when they come to a place like this and whine "i'm living in a 3-rd world shithole."
These dumb idiots have no idea what is a 3-rd world country.
Even more i hate Russians who left Russia and talk shit about their former country to foreigners.
When they start whining how things are expensive in europe/america how much miney goes on taxes, and when you ask them "Why won't you go back to Russia", they instantly change their mind and start telling conpletelly opposite.
There is more. Russians who were born outside of country, and who got back living here are always rabis liberals who shit on president and glorify america, they endlessly speak how it would be good to do as america says, how it would be good to stop developing military industry, how it would be good to let nato patroll our borders and so on.

P.S.
cow, if you meet russian who shits on his country it's 100% of the time a liberal idiot.

No. 87811

File: 1461501144698.jpeg (113.39 KB, 700x400, image.jpeg)

>>87810
Lmao I remember this jewish ukra said to me
>kiev is greater (as in more beautiful) than moscow
Im not even russian or eastern european and I said "untrue, I prefer moscow over kiev or paris or any other great european city based on the pictures that ive seen".

I truly hate those ungrateful "russian" idiots too btw, Russia is the only cunt who can defeat America so they should be proud of their stronk cunt.

Pic related; europe's wetdream.

No. 87822

>>87810
Lmao i see this a lot in the polish community in the uk.
After 2 months of living in uk they suddenly start making fun of casual polish people and change theirs names into a more english sounding one e.g. karolina to caroline
Then they shit on poland and basically treat other polish people (that do not live in the uk or are not in the uk for a long time) like they're parasites

Fucking annoying

No. 87913

File: 1461530336378.png (80.18 KB, 500x421, fSSh7df.png)

>be me, always considering myself to be pretty qt in the face, at least to some degree
>get a new awesome phone with not so shitty camera
>be all excited about being able to take fun and pretty pics to upload to my social media like everyone else
>take a pic
>see the ugly
>realize that the only way I can look like the person in my head is to run my face through a shit ton of filters and editing

It's not even like I don't care how I look and have seen my face for the first time - I have a skincare routine, I use basic makeup, I style my hair and all. Is that how people really see me? How do I sleep now, anon?

No. 87914

File: 1461531736638.jpg (256.32 KB, 1000x750, image.jpg)

>>87913
You are probably still qt, anon. A camera phone pic isn't a good indication of how you look anyways, since the tiny size of the camera lens can alter the way your face looks. Pic related.

Usually those people you see on social media with really cute pics take several before they choose one to post. They also know their angles and how to get good lighting. You can do the same, if you really want to take a good photo.

No. 87926

>>87914
I want to get a hold on good camera to finally take a photo of my face for which i won't feel embarased.

No. 87945

File: 1461537479619.jpg (18.21 KB, 552x381, FB_IMG_1460207931881.jpg)

I have to get up in 4 hours but can't sleep because of panic attacks. Already had two in an hour, I'm already on Efexor for this shit, why is this happening again?

No. 87946

>>87913
What this anon said, >>87914 it's probably due to the focal length. Try taking pictures from farther away but zoomed in

No. 87951

crushing on a dude really hard, I wish I knew how to be cute and have him like me back.

No. 87964

My piece of shit, druggie, 28-yo sister relinquished guardianship of her 2 year old son today and now my 44 year old mother has to raise him on her own.

Her excuse:
>"I'm only 28, I don't deserve to be tied down like this. I never wanted a child in the first place, it's not fair. I'm supposed to be out having fun at this age".

I have never wanted to slap somebody who fucking hard in my life.

No. 87965

>>87964
christ

No. 87966

File: 1461543238623.jpg (150.96 KB, 639x530, 2016-04-25 01.07.07.jpg)

>>87965

You really don't know the half of it. Like honestly if she were more active online she'd have her own little thread on /pt/.

This is the status she last updated and ofc, her trash, leech buddies are now inundating her with comments such as "whew girlie! get the wine out! ;p".

Honestly in a way this is good though because that kid was outright being abused whilst he was in her care. Almost 3 years old and he's still not talking. Well now we all know why, it's because whenever she got the opportunity she'd come home, stick the poor kid in his crib and proceed to hey pissed.
I'm so ashamed to be related to such garbage.

No. 87969

>>87913
Does the image get flipped when you take the photo? If so then it's something about seeing your face flipped highlighting your assymetricalities, it's new to you but everyone already sees you that way and is used to it. If they saw you in a mirror they might have the same reaction to your face as you are now. Happens to everyone.

No. 87975

>>87969
>>87969
This is why I now use a webcam with the image flipped instead of a mirror

Made me realized that my hair looks 100% better parted the opposite way, in reality

No. 88012

>>87964
Ughh this sounds like my aunt so much
>has a child even though we all know she's too busy/immature for one
>ends up having my grandmother watching him for weeks even after she has to go to the hospital
>decides to have another child even though she doesn't care for the first one
>talks about how hard being a mother is even though she's gone all the time and my cousins have resorted to calling my other aunt their mom
>about to divorce her husband and leave the kids with him even though he's mentally unstable from all the stress she's put him through

Like the list could go on forever but she's just a terrible person and I wish my family would blacklist her but that would mean not seeing the kids and it's awful. There's been so many times I wish i had called protective services but i think that would have been worse for them…

No. 88096

File: 1461591322548.png (51.5 KB, 268x248, 138970492050312.png)

Holy fuck I cannot get motivated to do fucking anything with my life right now and I haven't been able to do it for months.
I have a shitton of things I want to do, cosplays, videos, personal projects, art, games I want to play etc.
But every fucking day I just sit on my ass, tired as fuck and browse the internet without really doing anything.
I don't even do anything worthwhile while browsing, I don't contribute to comments. Sometimes I fall asleep during random periods of the day, I've gotten enough sleep but still, can't keep myself away.

It feels like my body is just slowly dying along with my motivation and my brain is just screaming for me to do anything without getting any connection.

I mean, at least I am still somewhat social and I can go for walks, when I do that shit though I get EXHAUSTED afterwards and sleep for like 3 hours just to regain some semblance of energy.

It's not like I don't eat either, or overeat, I have like, 2 or 3 meals a day.

I want to fucking die sometimes because I feel like I am wasting away. I can't get any motivation to draw, play single player games, work on cosplays or anything at all. Oh wait, I can play League of Legends at least, but not enough to get fucking good.

This is so horrifying, what is happening to me?

No. 88098

>>88096
could be depression, but could be anything else. better get it checked

No. 88100

>>88096
Your basically summed up what my life is like since the last 6 months.
I know I should get that checked but I'm scared that I will get called an attention whore or a faker (stupid fears I know).
I have a big artistic project and it's the only thing that I absolutely want to do before I die, if I continue living this way it will never happen.
Actually if I continue living like this I will probably get to anxious and bored and off myself one day.

No. 88106

boyfriend's mom knows we are both trying to lose weight and is such a saboteur it makes me want to scream. she constantly offers me brownies, stocks the fridge with unhealthy shit that she knows boyfriend will guzzle down, serves up large portions for dinner and if you don't finish the entire thing then you're oh no going to enter "starvation mode". we aren't allowed to cook our own dinner in the kitchen. and then another day will make jabs about boyfriend's weight and how he should be eating healthier. she works in a doctor's office, she should know better. cunt. if we could move out we would, we're looking and applying for better jobs at the moment but they're few and far between.

No. 88127

I'm in a pretty new relationship with a guy i was previously best friends with. It probably is a bad idea to go from best friends to bf/gf but oh well.
Anyways, it has all been good and well until we and the rest of the friend group + some more people took a casual trip just to drink and have fun for a couple of day. I had a blast but i noticed he was in a kinda shitty mood the whole time. Turns out he was jealous and mad that i had fun with our male friends and even made a new friend (male). Now, i would be fine with slowing down on the friendliness, if he didn't act even worse towards his female friends, which aren't mutual friends either.
He hugs them, touches them, talks to them about emotional problems and all that. And just now on his snapchat story (kek) his female friend had posted some pics, innocent enough, just dyed her hair etc, but there was one pic with his arm around her, which he deleted 2 minutes afterwards, which just makes it worse. If he hadn't deleted it, he wouldn't seem so suspicious, but no he has to be stupid. This is all pretty hurtful but just because he won't accept friendly banter between me and our mutual male friends but finds it totally acceptable for him to act this way. I would literally have no problem with this if he wasn't such a bitch about the way i act.

No. 88162

I'm starting to take a course about programming tomorrow and I'm worried about a billion thing.
What if I get lost going there? What if I don't find the classroom? What if they all know already how to code and I look stupid? What if everybody think I'm weird and fat?

I'm 26 ffs and I still feel like a 12yo on the first day of school.

No. 88164

>>88096
Okay listen up. There is a way you can fix everything, but are you going to have the self control to do it?
If you really want to fix your time management you will do as I say, if you don't then obviously you don't actually care, so stop pretending to be stressed and just enjoy your nnet life.
1. Install a productivity extension, i recommend StayFocusd, I think I even found it on a thread here. Set it so you can only browse unproductive sites (or Internet) 4 hours a day. I don't care if internet is important to your creative project, you are only allowed to actively use it 4 hours a day. You can be more lenient if you like and say that you can use the Internet freely after 9pm,but during the day you stick to your allowed time. Start budgeting that time.
2. Work on a regular waking time, it doesn't matter if it's 3pm,just make sure you get up. After you get up you WILL take a walk around the block or do 10 jumping jacks, and you WILL make your bed and get dressed. It doesn't matter if you just change into different pyjamas and climb back into bed after, just do it.
As long as you stick to these rules you will gradually find your time better spent. If you still find yourself exhausted after two weeks you should go to a doctor.
>>88100
You too

No. 88172

Oh. My. God. I can't fucking stand autists.

I'm a pretty polite and accommodating person in general. Before I got into my current field, I had a neutral view of autistics. (I still have a neutral view of low-functioning autistics, the stereotypical gnawing and non-verbal ones, because they have no clue wtf is going on.) But now I have to interact with people with a shitton of sensory issues, who throw tard fits when they don't get their way, and who have absolutely no sense of social decorum or courtesy.

I'm okay with weird people. I'm okay with awkward people. I am not okay with all of the above. I really believe in my field/research and think that there's SO MUCH that gets overlooked and/or ridiculed because of the stupid autistic culture that surrounds it. Shit sucks.

No. 88302

Everything goes wrong lately. I feel like I'm just a mistake.

No. 88311

>>88172
I don't like those little shits neither. Maybe there will be testing for it one day so they can be aborted before it's born.the rate for it seems to be so high right now,it'll be just my luck if I spawned one of em.>>88172
>>88172

No. 88322

Can someone explain this to me?

I went to a new lecture last week with a professor I've never had and I didn't know ANY of the students. I was early so I sat off to the side and just waited while everyone else came in and took their seats. This boy came in late (he looked like your typical fuckboy tbh) and there was one one seat left…And it was next to me.

He said "Ewww, I'm not sitting next to her!" very loudly and everyone stared at me. It was so humiliating and I can't stop thinking about it. I have never met him in my life and there was nothing wrong with me - I dressed in your typical normie fashion and showered that morning. I just don't know why he said that.

And get this, a few minutes after that he made me switch seats with him because he wanted to sit next to his friend. He just asked me to switch seats - not politely but not rudely. I did it and that was that - he didn't talk to me again.

I can't stop thinking about it and I have to go there again on Thursday. Am I just overthinking it or….?

No. 88324

>>88322
He's just a retard. Don't give it a second thought, anon.

No. 88330

>>88322
You cannot stand up for yourself. You should have not switched seats that is the most beta shit someone can do after someone disrespected you. If you really want to know the consequences, if he is a normie fuckboy popular boy you wont be well liked in class (since its not high school they wont really bully you i guess), if he is just a loser autist you're just overthinking it.

t. life will always be high school

No. 88333

Being 25 fucking blows sometimes.

I am somewhat established in my career, 3 years in, but I still have no trust from the business and I get nothing but bitch work.

I finally found a guy who is ~marriage potential~ but he is totally being a fuck boy to me. I thought guys in their 30s would be more mature.

No. 88334

>>88322
>>88324
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was a retarded joke because you were alone.

No. 88336

>>88322
Yeah, that guy was an autist. If you were dressed normie and not in weeb shit, there's no reason for him to say that. There's nothing wrong with you.

No. 88365

>>88333
Why would he be marriage potential if he acts like a fuck boy? Guys in their 30's can still be super immature and lacking in any self awareness, don't assume they have it together because they're older.

No. 88366

>>88164
Thanks fam, tough love is good from time to time.

I'm >>88100 and you pointed my real problem, internet and laziness is killing me slowly and I've been thinking about cutting my internet time for a long time now, I'm going to install this thing and hope I can handle it. The thing is I think I'm so addicted to internet because it help me stay distracted and I don't have to think about the mess that my life is.

Probably going to ask my bf to do it so I can't just switch it whenever I want.

No. 88367

>>88164
I am already doing all of the stuff in point 2. My problem is that I randomly fall asleep during the day, or just get exhausted and get migranes randomly.

HOWEVER, I will definitely follow your advice for point 1. I have also called my doctor as of this morning and I have an appointment next week. Wish me luck!

No. 88370

>>88366
If you want a more hardcore productivity program, try Cold Turkey. I've managed to get rid of StayFocusd in desperate times, but you can't fuck with Cold Turkey at all.

>>88367
I think you might have a sleeping disorder, I have 2 and can empathise with falling asleep randomly and being exhausted 24/7. All the best for your doctor's appointment and your road to good health!

No. 88459

File: 1461679917376.jpg (27.56 KB, 500x336, 09c5a997e43783abd0b57cd7ab20fd…)

I've been in a relationship for almost 5 years now. And it's starting to fall apart. I feel pathetic for whining like this but idk where else to vent.

So,I suffer from depression and anxiety. It was really really bad when I was a teen. He was literally my only friend (I got bullied a shit ton in school) and the only person I could talk to, even if it was just over FB because we live 3 hours away from each other.

When I turned 16 I decided to just run away, meet up with him and than him for being there for me and after that to kill myself. (I know, I know) We actually had a great time, talked all day and I had my first kiss that day. I wasn't really amazed by the idea but if it made him happy, why not. At least it gave me a reason to live.

It was all good and great until a few months back. We were actually planing on building an apartment at his parents place, upstairs. It was always "us" and "we" but now a few months ago, it turned into "I" and "me". I asked him what's wrong and it turns out that the problem is that "I'm not doing anything". I'm not sure what it even means because if I ask his response is just "You'd know if you were doing something".

He always wanted me to be an open, talkative person. He wants me to get a job, drive and cook. Which is a good thing, but it's just that I'm an introvert so getting out of my shell is rather hard. I'm trying my best with all of this but I just know that it'll never be the same as the ideal image he has of me.
He's been really rude and cold the last two days, even said that he can be fine on his own etc.. Basically,he's ready to leave.

I just don't know how to show him that I'm not a kid. I'm doing the best I can. I'm searching for a job, I'm trying to cook even tho we don't have a lot of food in the house because we're poor af.

I'm just really lost on which direction to go. He IS right, I need to learn that shit. I can't become a pro in all of this in a week. At least I know I deserve this.

No. 88461

>>88096
>>88100
This is me too anons. Its gotten pretty bad the past couple months. There have been too many days where I skip morning classes because Im browsing. Ive realised that I dont know what I want to do with my life since Ive switched majors 3 times and found out I dont feel passionate enough about any of them to go through with them. Now im burnt out from school and forcing myself through classed I couldnt stand and have decided to do a University Studies degree and cobble together all the classes Ive already taken. Luckily this is the last week of school for me so I can try some things over the summer and talk with a doctor about it. I take alot of supplements though, which help me at least feel a bit more energetic and not suicidal or extremely negative/down

No. 88491

>>88459
It might be a little off-topic, but I was in the same "long distance relationship" with a guy for a little more than 6 years. I was a really shy and bullied kid too and he was the only guy I could talk to. He encouraged me and was my best friend and the coolest, smartest guy ever. He always gave me cute compliments, told me how important I am to him, hugged and kissed me, talked to me about how happy he will be when he will be able to invite me to his own apartment to stay with him. I visited him one to two times a month since we've lived 2,5 hours from each other.

…aaaand then he just blocked me out of the blue and I slowly realized he just used me for sex. And all of his words about living together, buying stuff for me and loving me were absolute bullshit. And he manipulated me. Like, I was COMPLETELY blind to it, when I rethink this situation now our relationship was so full of red flags it could qualify as a soviet country.
I hope your boyfriend isn't like that, anon. But please, think about your relationship with a cold head, it can save you a lot of tears later. You're still young and you can do anything and I SWEAR it will be better later, just…think, ok?

No. 88498

>>88491
Don't want to sound like a mangina but reading this makes me understand why women can lose trust in men.

How do you even start to trust after something like that. Shit.

No. 88500

>>88459
You're codependent. Your life literally revolves around him.

As harsh as it sounds, him leaving you might be the only thing that will actually get you to change.

I hope you're getting therapy and having your depression/anxiety treated. I've been there anon, and it sucks, but without professional help and getting rid of a relationship that was weighing me down I wouldn't be where I am today (graduated, full-time job where I make a decent wage, happily in a new relationship where we are our own individual selves but working together as a team).

No. 88502

>>88491
>>88500

Thanks anon(s)

I'll give the relationship another try. Because it's mostly my fault that it's not working, I just can't get my shit together - or I do but only for a few days.

I've been thinking about therapy but it's really expensive and I might need meds. I'll try to research how the whole system works in my country, maybe I can do something to get help. Hopefully getting help will make it easier to pull myself together.

No. 88552

>>88502
There's a relationship board on /g/ if you ever want more advice.

>>11195


I know you just wanted to vent about your situation but there's plenty of others going through similar things as you so you won't feel so alone. And please, please look to see if you can get treatment.

e-hugs girl

No. 88553

>>88552
>>>/g/11195

No. 88574

File: 1461731514994.jpeg (37.18 KB, 275x275, 1457615624756.jpeg)

I actually used to be a white nationalist until I realized that white men were some of the worst people in the world. I mean it. It wasn't propaganda that made me hate white men, it was my own experience with them. I fucking hate white men so much, I wish they would all drop dead or something. I can't even find them attractive anymore because their personalities are so, so fucking shitty. The thing that gets me is how they do nothing but bitch about white women not wanting them, yet they make no attempt to understand WHY it is we hate them so much. Here's a tip, it's not "propaganda". White men don't think that their shit stinks. But, of course, they'll never self reflect on their behavior because they're convinced that the only reason people like me hate them so much is because I'm "brainwashed". Your "moment" isn't about western civilization. It's about you wanting everyone else to kiss your retarded man child ass. Fuck that. White men want to be able to do whatever they want without anyone being able to call them out on it, makes me sick. I have every right to fucking hate you I would rather breed with a lizard than give birth to a baby with a white father for fear that the child could be born male and grow up to be another fucking disgusting as fuck shitty white man that's how much I fucking hate you I want to cut off your dick and shove it in your mouth and piss on it.

No. 88575

My ex and I officially broke up a year ago because I fell out of love with him, we were toxic and co dependent and I wanted something fresh. I had flings here and there but nothing seriously, he begged for me to stay friends with him so I did (big mistake I know) but he would threaten suicide and he would threaten to hurt me every time I tried to completely cut off contact. Talking to him was always like walking on eggshells and he still acted as if we were together even though I made it clear I don't want it anymore, every time I tried to bring that up he would yell at me about how no one else but him would love me and put up with my shit, my already low self esteem completely disappeared and I started to believe him. Now he's on holidays with his family and they apparently set him up with this girl and I can't help but part of me feels jealous even though I have had no feelings for him whatsoever for months.

No. 88582

>>88574

Are you me? I'm still a white nationalist though.

No. 88586

my dad is pissing me the fuck off…he's clueless and slow but he just doesn't want to acknowledge it. no, he wants every fucking little thing explained to him and he takes 5 fuckin minutes of thinking and "developing his thoughts" just to come up with…not even a corehent opinion, but a completely random and useless insight i could just as well wipe my ass with. and then he fuckin acts like he's our resident genius and his bright mind saved the day yet again.

i thought i was an ungrateful bitch for feeling this way but my mom's getting tired of his shit too. not like there's anything we can do but be nice to him to keep the peace though, but fuck he's gettting more and more ingratiating by the minute. i know this whole thing sounds shitty of me but i guess if another person had that everyday context of what's going on at home it'd be easier to understand why i feel this way. just…fuck me, sometimes i get frustrated.

No. 88587

>>88586
you're not alone, I feel something similar about my mother. We just don't really get along, she annoys the shit out of me.

It's one of those things that sounds bad and ungrateful if you tell other people… but if they lived with them they'd understand.

No. 88601

>>88574
I'm not even white nationalist but yes, white men are scum, I thought it was a tumblr meme like "teh oppressor!!" or "fuckboy" or whatever but they are so annoying.

No. 88622

>>88601
How exactly are other races of men any better?

Asian, Middle Eastern etc guys are significantly more misogynistic after all.

Although I'm half convinced you're a troll

No. 88652

another body rant

Goddamn I'm ugly. slept naked last night, what a fucking mistake because of what I woke up to.

my tits suck. I have droopy moob-like things. They're so far apart and saggy that cleavage is impossible. I basically have a zitty grand canyon in between two leaky water balloons.

I'm shaped like a fucking oboe with a potbelly. I don't have hips or and ass, I'm just broad.

My legs are ridiculously short (my inseam is 27") and my calves are unnaturally huge.

And my face is just insult to injury. I've seen trannies with more feminine jawlines than mine. My face shape is basically a rectangle, with a huge forehead and a hairline to heaven. My lips are crooked and thin. My nose is bulbous and huge.

fek

No. 88657

>>88652

>oboe


meant cello

I'm also a tard

No. 88681

>>88459
If you're working on achieving those goals and putting a lot of time and effort into it, then you'd be doing something. I get the sense that he's frustrated because you've stalled. Just get to work and things will be alright.

No. 88683

File: 1461785668806.jpg (53.17 KB, 670x440, white_men.jpg)

>>88622
They aren't. Shitty men are everywhere.

But there are also idiots who think meeting a shitty person of X background means every person of X ethnicity, religion, or race must indeed be exactly the same. That people are not individuals and every single person of X conforms to their stereotype.

>All white men are cis shitlords!

>All black people have big dicks
>All Asian men are effeminate faggots
>Every single Muslim is a potential suicide bomber
>All Indians are poo-in-loo pieces of crap that cheat and scam
>Women with dark skin/pale skin/freckles/curly hair/below C-cup/<your choice here> can NEVER EVER be beautiful!

No. 88685

>>88683
>All Asian men are effeminate faggots

This one at least is true.

No. 88691

File: 1461788355887.jpg (13.91 KB, 236x329, 47fd9da959938c05be1600827c0b57…)

>>88685

I need you to stop

No. 88692

>>88691
Not natty, sorry. And they're just copying whites by being into the gym thing.

No. 88694

>>88692

horrible bait.

No. 88695


No. 88696

>>88683
In fairness. Dicks are all gross and I think we'd all be better off as lesbians. Amen.

No. 88697

>>88691
he is NOT natty! but damn that body tho

i still dont like asian men tho

No. 88703

>>88652
anon! no! please don't talk about yourself that way. you're only embedding further the idea that you're ugly in your head. if you have a potbelly, welp. lose weight.
i've gained 10kg post breakup and i'm also getting there so i feel you boo, it sucks.

most important tho - STOP telling yourself you're ugly. it's self harm. life's too short to spend the entirety of it hating yourself.
my mother spent her entire life stuck in a cycle of 'i'm fat' and 'i'm ugly' and lo and behold, she's a beautiful, intelligent, witty, ambitious woman. i keep telling her she's beautiful but she's always got something to shoot back at me. it puts things into perspective, really.
of all people, don't hate your own self.

if it cheers you up, i've got pigeon chest and nearly 0 boobs. cleavage? lol, nope.
made me so self conscious. in the end, not a single person i've slept with has ever mentioned or implied that they're bothered by it. in fact, when asked about it, they were genuinely surprised to hear anything like that because they simply didn't notice.

so. be gentle to yourself.
we can do it, anon!

No. 88729

>>88622
Not a troll, and I've never said that. I can only talk about white men because I have almost no experience with men of other races.

No. 88736

>>88729
Well there is no ideal group of men. On the whole I'd say white women get a pretty good deal with white men.

You're just bitter for whatever reason.

No. 88804

>>88729
Maybe because you keep meeting shitty white men? Maybe try meeting a nice white guy, trust me, they exist

No. 88807

Anon from >>88096 here

So. I had a nervous breakdown two hours before work this tuesday, called in and spent about an hour getting someone to cover my shift. Had difficulty breathing, complete panic at the thought of looking like a wreck at work, crying and basically letting all my co-workers and boss know that I am in a bad place.
Called my doctor but they weren't available until next tuesday, had another breakdown today and I've also experienced physical problems now. Called the hospital when my doctor was unavailable, managed to get an appointment with another doctor tomorrow.

I can't stop crying and feeling shitty, it's escalated so fast. Yet if I just… do nothing and play Animal Crossing or something I have it okay. But immediately when I have to talk to people I start bawling. I'm glad I'm getting an appointment tomorrow because I am worried everything is going to shit too fast for me to handle.

No. 88808

>>88736
As someone who has lots of experience with men of different racial groups, I disagree. At least on the radical side, I mean. White men who host Eurocentric or nationalistic views are some of the worst people you will meet in your life. Meanwhile, men from other races (at least in America) who host these views in regards to their own race are god like. They wouldn't date a white girl, though.

No. 88812

>>88808
Uh. You're either a troll or incredibly sheltered.

Non white guys epitomise the whole "love the women, hate the men" attitude. About the only group of men in America who prefer their own racial group are white men.

It's fine to have yellow fever, but pretending Asian men are less sexism, less ethnocentric, less likely to hold shitty views on women is ridiculous and if you really do believe it I'd advise you to spend a few years in south Korea and China

No. 88816

>>88812
>About the only group of men in America who prefer their own racial group are white men
Ahahaha, no. The vast majority of mixed raced relationships in US are between white men and asians.
And no one said anything about yellow fever or people from other countries, I'm specifically talking about American men or different races.

No. 88818

>>88816
The majority are with Hispanics actually. Probably because a lot of them are basically white anyway.

I'm sure white guys feel they have equal cause for complaint given how some white girls perpetuate the black guys are better in bed meme.

No. 88819

>>88818
WM/BM are like 3% of all couples in the US and all of the ones I've seen irl are fat white trash. Where does this meme come from, r9k and pol?

No. 88822

>>88819
oops WW/BM

No. 88823

>>88819
it's not a meme, it's a stereotype that's been around forever. It's probably the most known pairing because it's so "subversive" in historical societies (if we are to view women as precious commodities, and white being the highest standard with blacks the lowest, WW/BM made/makes a lot of people upset). No one really cares when minorities racemix, but every gets all bothered when white people do it.

No. 88824

>>88823
More like nobody cares men mixing. Minorities definitely care about their women mixing.

When I said meme I meant the guys saying all white women love "bbc" and hate white men. It's downright delusional to think it's more than maybe literally 2% of white women.

No. 88825

>>88824
how many guys even say that though? if it's only on r9k and pol, it's hardly a meme, but just echochamber ranting on a very secluded portion of the internet.

No. 88827

>>88825
It's said by neckbeards all across the internet. I'm sure it's a joke on pol but a lot of guys seem to think it's actually true. It's not just that extreme either, WW/BM is literally less than 5% of all couples and yet they love to act like it's super common. Some use it as justification to hate white women or date outside of their race when they claim to be a white supremacist, but most seem to use it as an excuse as to why they can't get a gf.

No. 88828

>>88825
Like, 90% of white guys. Do you not go outside?

No. 88829

>>88825
I think a lot of white guys dislike it.

Not that I really blame them. Black guys are pretty fucking shitty.

No. 88831

File: 1461851118658.jpg (14.78 KB, 236x206, cdc2eb5a0bad301c09a4ae43ed38d6…)

Goddamnit I hate whiny posts but I just have to get this off my chest. I don't know why but lately I feel really sad. I'm despairing and I don't know why, it just feels like my heart is breaking. Nothing in particular is standing out to me as a reason for this feeling though. Granted, life is sort of shit right now but it's the same stuff I've been dealing with for years now. Maybe I'm finally breaking from the continuous pressure.

No. 88840

>>88831
Try a therapist hun, it can't hurt. This shit happens, and you'll be able to rant without feeling guilty.

No. 88849

>>88824
Why only bitch about white women who go for black men when white women who go for Asian men are driven by the exact same things?

No. 88858

Fuuuuuck, I accidentally clicked on a horrible video where a kid died in a pool because his friend was meant to suplexed him into the water, but his head hit the edge of the pool instead (made of hard stones). The uploader claimed and the kid died instantly. Now I typed this while holding the top of my head, still can't get the images, the sound of his other friend screaming when he found out he's dead out of my mind, and fully hoping no one around me would ever be that stupid to do that to anyone at the pool.

No. 88865

>>88858
Welcome to the internet.

No. 88866

File: 1461865544383.jpg (468.91 KB, 1600x1365, eat your veggies.JPG)

I'll probably sound really hard and edgy saying it but here goes:

I no longer live anywhere near my hometown since I moved out of state. Tbh it's a really depressed area. There's no future there for anyone wanting culture, a well-paid job, or who isn't backwater tier religious. The only two types of people who stayed are okayish people whose families got them jobs with the city or inside institutions (commuting over an hour to work in a better city), or welfare-leech trash who just pop out kids in order to survive and use religion to justify it.

A lot of my ex female friends from high school unfortunately wound up in the welfare category: some have never held a job (or if they had it's always part time min wage), only have a high school diploma or sometimes not even a GED, and exist on abusing the government help systems. Back when I used to live there, I think the only reason they even took the time to befriend me is so they could bum car rides off me and get me to buy them nice things. We're completely different people regarding ambitions and beliefs. For the most part these days, they're incredibly jealous and don't go out of their way to contact me much anymore.

But I do see the shit they post on facebook, mostly about their pregnancies and what they do as stay-at-home moms, which isn't much. For some STRANGE ass reason, many of their babies have some kind of genetic or general kidney disorders.
One ex friend in particular gave birth to a preemie recently that was diagnosed early in the pregnancy with polycystic kidney disease. It was on life support from the second it exited the uterus. I know this because she relentlessly posted pictures of this little human hooked up to all these tubes and wires with captions like "PRAYERS" "PLEASE PRAY." It constantly looked like it was in pain. Personally, I secretly think some of these "mothers" get off from posting disturbing pictures like these on fb for the attention they get!

Some of you won't agree with this, but I think this bitch is a terrible person for admitting that the odds for this baby surviving were next to none but still continued to carry out the pregnancy because of "God" (aka another meal ticket to get gubment bux). She already has one child that she can't financially take care of, but she thought having another was some great idea???
She set up a GoFundMe for $2500 to cover the long-term costs of the NICU, which proves how she's getting a lot of medicaid assistance because neonatal hospital bills under normal circumstances cost wayyyyy more than that.

In any case, the preemie passed during the night after being kept alive on machines for a whole two days.

Worst of all, I know this bitch is going to try again for another baby despite things like kidney diseases in fetuses being indicative of GENETIC issues, and the next one is likely to be as fucked. But oh well, I'm sure that'll just be "God's will" too, and we can just hope the fetus survives long enough to be another dependent write-off.

Sorry for the blog-style vent. There's just something about women willingly giving birth to genetically fucked babies that really pisses me off. Especially if they're ignorant enough to think it must be the will of a supernatural being to do so. If I had it my way, these cunts would be sterilized after child one.

No. 88869

>tfw 98% of your call history is mom, dad, and spammers
>tfw the only emails you get are from automated mailing lists
>tfw your phone gets stolen and when you get a new one a week later, literally nobody has texted/messaged you

I'm so fucking sick of being a loner.

No. 88876

>>88869
Remember, you chose this life.

No. 88877

>>88876
You don't know the context. Social anxiety/mental disorder? Weird life situation that's out of anyone's control? A lot of times this is self-inflicted but some people just have a steeper hill to climb and it doesn't mean their need for social interaction magically goes away.

No. 88882

>>86469
You'll never know till it happens, none of us know what actually happens and we never will so what is the point of worrying over it? There's no point being afraid of death, you aren't afraid of going to sleep and people want to die, it's the way it is. I think there are studies that show the 'fear of death' slowly decreases as you hit 60, also I think a lot of us confuse having an existential crisis about death with just fear of getting older etc. Personally I choose to believe that energy cannot be created nor destroyed and we are essentially energy transferred from one thing to another, yes our consciousness may not survive (but we don't KNOW that) but we don't cease to exist, everything is a cycle right? IDK I'm rambling tbh because I struggle with this too but what are you supposed to do just give up because death? No, just live your life and get ready for the next one.

No. 88906

>>88849
Are we starting this shit again?
Everyone knows white men with yellow fever FAAAR outnumber white women with yellow fever

No. 88956

>mom's birthday yesterday
>she lives on the other side of the country, can only message her on FB
>meanwhile me:
>had a mental breakdown yesterday and spent 70% of the day sleeping or calling the hospital to set up a doctor's appointment
>didn't really think about anything much
>remember today, after doctor's appointment (where i was referred to a psychologist to help me with my problems) that i should send her a msg on FB
>get home
>on FB she publically announces: "thank you to all my family members who remembered my birthday, except for that one person who i was missing a message from so much :)"
>my brother asks: "who?"
>she goes: "oh i'm just supposed to have two children :)"
>seethe
>send her a long message explaining that i was sick yesterday and have to get help for my mental state and that she could've just sent me a private message and explained her disappointment
>no reply as of yet but she deleted her post
>feel bad

I don't know what to do about this.

No. 88957

>>88956
Don't feel bad anon. Mental health is a priority that we are not taught about and any mental illness or issue someone has is always stigmatized. You have to take care of yourself first before you can adequately tackle anything else in life. At the same time, if she didn't know you were going through this before she made that comment, I wouldn't be mad at her for making it. People are self centered and only initially consider their own plight before the one of others. I'm petty as hell so I would just give a fake apology to make her feel bad.

No. 88962

File: 1461941224495.jpg (16.85 KB, 471x431, kuroneko.jpg)

People call me "fake" IRL sometimes because I'm sort of alt and have different ways of experimenting with my hair. It's pretty irritating, considering how simple a lot of my shit actually is. I wear colored or curly extensions sometimes, enjoy wearing black, and buy sweaters from Tumblrcore sites like inu-inu or Omocat. That's literally it. Plus, I'm happy to explain whenever they ask me about my hair, and even direct them to sites where they can buy similar clothing, but their minds go totally blank.
It was even a bit of an issue before I started doing anything particularly different with my appearance, because my hair is supposedly "long for a black girl". People were pretty rude about it, and insisted I must be lying and wear a weave ever since I was in like 5th grade.
It also doesn't help that a lot of their style icons/inspiration do the exact same things, and a few of them religiously attempt to copy them, but once there's actually someone in real life who goes the extra mile to achieve their own aesthetic tastes, it means they're "so misleading and fake omg!!!!". Fucking dumb. I really can't help it that other people are a lot more toned down with their own style and/or basic enough to just not know how to do certain things, and I certainly don't shame them for it. It's just annoying that they take issue with me.
tl;dr
>tfw some people call me "fake"/misleading, but a lot of them are minimalist, utilitarian fucks who know nothing and I have no reason to listen to them

No. 88967

>>83591

Dude, I'm 22 and was told by my doctor that I "may" have adult ADD. I'm really skeptical about it, because A) I love amphetamines, I don't think I'm getting the medical benefits of adderall or vyvanse, just the straight speed. B) To see a neuropsychologist to take these tests seems like a pretty penny ($1000) I don't want to "waste" to confirm that I'm only an amateur addict, and C) I can't imagine the monthly costs of the pills, even with health insurance, I took an anti anxiety drug for 5 months before I started having to pay off a 50$ copay at the end of each month.

However, I've been dealing with intense feelings of procrastination for as long as I can remember, but I've always been "good" with my grades, as in, I'm graduating from college, so I continue to doubt that being a possibility.

Is it still possible to have ADD without it outwardly affecting my life to the point that it's determining whether I pass or fail, make money or not? It just feels like literally every chore I have to do is like pulling a splinter out of my asshole, but I feel severe anxiety in being "bored", and in the moment of my procrastination. No indication of an urge to do anything productive.

Sorry for the rant. I just want to figure this shit out so I can either start fresh or continue down this road of forcing myself.

No. 88970

>>88962
I don't get it, they're calling you fake because you… dress differently? What exactly is your appearance 'misleading' them on?

No. 88973

>>88970
They're confused by my hair changing daily and the fact that I don't dress super casually.

No. 88979

>>88973
I think I know what you're talking about. One time in high school one of my friends was complaining about some girl in our school that walked by because she had straight hair and the day before had curly hair. She was like "OMG JUST PICK ONE!!!!" My friend had short straight hair that she never did anything with and dressed the same every day. I was baffled that she could care so much about other people's looks and not realize the irony when she claimed to not care about looks.

No. 88982

File: 1461951836421.jpg (125.98 KB, 1280x720, [HorribleSubs] Gekkan Shoujo N…)

>get out of depressive episode
>get on new meds that work great
>feeling good, decide to try and ride the momentum
>get a slight tan
>get acrylics
>start working out
>actually make some friends
>couple months later, everything going great
>suddenly, hello good old anhedonia
>also brain decides I NEED to start restricting again immediately

Why am I not allowed to have good things?

No. 88985

>>88979
Yup, it's exactly that sort of thing.

No. 88986

>>88982

Sounds like my life.

No. 89055

File: 1461997881236.png (281.51 KB, 293x750, tumblr_inline_mmt7u5ZUJJ1qz4rg…)

My friends and I have been planning a trip for a while now and one of them decided to invite another friend and I'm just not wanting her to come???
Nothing against her because she's a sweet person but I just don't like her. She annoys me so much and I feel so bad because she's nice but it's effecting me so much that I don't even want to go on the trip anymore and I can't tell my friends because I have no real reason other than my own dislike which is rude. My anxiety for this trip is already skyrocketing and this just makes it worse so I'm tempted to say I'm sick and just stay home because why pay money to be annoyed for a weekend???

No. 89058

File: 1462003667451.png (96.21 KB, 332x333, 1453149826498.png)

Another youtube i watch got a boobjob.
shit depresses me
i like my flat chest but seeing how other people think its a negative trait affects my self esteem
my body looks pretty feminine (very nice waist to hip ratio )but i still get called a boy by friends/family because of my chest
is there any other girls that like their small tits/ no tits? seems like everyone is getting boobjobs nowdays

No. 89063

>>89058
I have Es but I would much rather have small perky boobs, clothes fit better and don't make you look chubby and I generally like the asthetic of it, I wouldn't worry about it though anon, everyone likes different things and boobjobs scream attention whore anyways.

No. 89064

>>89063
atheistic rather

No. 89065

>>89058
I hope it's not creepy of me to say but I think small tits are cute as heck.
When it comes down to it though as long as you're happy with your body ignore what others have to say, boobjobs aren't everything and tend to cause back issues down the road and smaller tiddies are cute af so rock it girl.

No. 89068

>>89058
I LOVE my small boobs. They're super cute and perky, one of the only things I actually like about my body.
I started birth control seven months ago and it's made my breasts so much bigger…
I went from an A cup to a small C and I am really uncomfortable and unhappy about it :/ my bf loves it but it is just so uncomfortable and awkward looking to me. Just doesn't feel like "me" since I've been flat chested all my life. and not to mention I now have fairly noticeable green veins on my chest running to my breasts. ugh.

No. 89070


No. 89106

>>89068
A to a C. Did you gain a lot of weight in general?

No. 89154

>>89065
Not that same anon, but hearing it come from women doesn't really help.

No. 89171

>>89154
Im the one that made the original post >>89058 and tbh hearing other women talk about how they like their small boobs or prefer small boobs makes me feel better
I already gave up on the idea that 98% men prefer bigger boobs so thats why i didnt ask for a mans view

I also currently have a bf who adores my body and he certainly likes my boobs since he sometimes randomly asks for pics of them (tmi)

No. 89198

>>89106
no I'm 5'4 and my weight has always fluctuated around 100-110Ibs

No. 89199

File: 1462102724443.jpg (111.08 KB, 848x940, 1461991462339.jpg)

>>89058

Now imagine if your boobs were you main sexual organ and it was small, x100 suffering.

No. 89272

I've been hanging out with this guy, and he makes it a point to say things like "Oh we're just friends anon" and "You're so great, you're wasting yourself on me" a lot.
It's really confusing and a bit annoying, because I'm not looking for a relationship at all. I wish there was a nice way to tell him that he isn't actually that special to me, just a fun person to talk to and/or fuck, and I'm not "wasting myself on him" just because I like his company.

No. 89371

>>88575
You should've stopped it at him threatening to kill himself. Mines did and I told him to go ahead, I won't care. Funnily enough he didn't.
I went a little bit easier on him after that, and said I'd call him (emphasizing not the other way round)once a week for about 10 minutes. If he doesn't get that gf and crawls back to you instate that rule at least.

Btw he's abusive. You know that, right?

No. 89373

>>89058
tbh small tit posts make me rage. I've got E cups and developed near enough a complex about them. They feel like a sexual accessory instead of part of a human body, my body. I'm always reminded when I see sex scenes in movies, and the girls have B cups and it's a smooth mound, instead of a fatty sack that the hand is running over. I'd rather have different sized tits if they were small. I'd rather have salami nipples, or inverted nipples or puffy ones or literally no tits or the droopy but small tits over my current heavy, inconvenient and awkward tits.

So these small tits posters express something about wishing theirs were bigger, and they get so many comments about how small tits are great for whatever reason. The only "positive" stuff I've seen posted to comfort someone about hating their big tits is their sexual value. They'll get a better man/give a better titjob or whatever.

It depresses me.

No. 89391

>>89373

M8 ME TOO, WE'RE EVEN THE SAME CUP SIZE
TITLETS DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD THEY GOT IT

No. 89395

>>89373
cause you assume chestlets want cow tits as enormous as yours but realistically when they're talking about wanting big tits they only want a C cup

No. 89398

>>89373
i have tiny titties and i don't want them bigger cause my tits are cute and small and perky. they're never gonna sag. be jelly.

No. 89399

>>89398

>and they're never gonna sag


Uh, Anon, all breasts sag eventually, even the small ones.

No. 89403

>>89399
that's just something fattychans think. they don't sag if you don't have much and are active. sorry bby.

No. 89461

Can you all shut up about your udders no1curr

No. 89463


No. 89478

>>89058
I have huge boobs and my top measurement and bottom measurement don't meat up well on a lot of sets and one piece outfits. You'd rather have something slightly too big than too tight. Baggy can be dealt with. Too tight is just plain uncomfortable.

Your boobs will never get in your way while you are doing things.

Also, you can fit into just about any top. You don't have to worry about sizing up a dress because the size that fits you at the bottom is too tight in the chest.

You can layer with ease.

Cheap discount bras are alright if you can't get better.

If you get sore, swollen period boobs every month at least you won't have to deal with the fact that your boobs were already more than big enough before they swelled up.

No. 89479

>>89478
*meet not meat.

No. 89482

File: 1462186101317.jpg (Spoiler Image, 3.05 KB, 207x155, images.jpg)

>>89403

>"skin never sags! lmao xD"


I can tell you're young because you don't seem to understand that breast size and shape doesn't stay the same your entire life.
Ever wondered why you often see grannies walking around smuggling basket balls under her pinafore? They get bigger as you age.

No. 89483

>>89482
is there a way to reduce this?
I'm losing weight atm but I'm afraid of something like this.

No. 89492

>>89483

Obviously that's an older woman, but with breasts to be honest, no not a whole lot can be done to prevent sagging when losing weight/aging.
There's this whole "lose it slowly" argument which is a total myth because actually the longer your skin stays stretched the saggier it will be long term. Only thing you can attempt is to build up your pectorals really, or get surgery.

No. 89518

I just read a local news online, and there's a criminal case where a 14 year old girl who was walking home from her school, were kidnapped and gang-raped to death by different 14 boys (age range 16-23) who were drunk and horny. I read the autopsy report and her private parts were destroyed. Her vagina is torn to her anus from so many penises that entered her roughly. Her mouth were also ripped apart. Police said, it seems that she's already died in the process of gang-raping. When the boys realized she's dead, they just rolled her body down to a not so deep ravine, and left. The next day, they just continue their activities like nothing happened. And when they got caught and interrogated, none of them showed any remorse.

What is more infuriating for me is that they only get 15 years each. 15 years for such horrible crime?? I get that some of them are underage (my country's legal age is either 17 or 21, depending on the state), but they should receive harsher punishment. Death sentence would be too kind, even. Cut off their dick, make them eat it, torture them Ramsey Bolton style. These disgusting piece of shits don't deserve to use their dicks again after kidnapped, raping and killing an innocent girl.

No. 89525

>>89518
For all the talk of how rape is considered the worst crime most men don't seem to care much about it in reality. What country do you live in anon? Or the area if you don't feel comfortable.

No. 89526

>>89518
Fuck, I wish I hadn't read that spoiler. Men really are disgusting fucking pigs, so desperate just to get their dicks wet that they do things like this.

May she rest in peace.

No. 89527

>>89483
Yeah. Surgery. It's not that bad though, if you're like that at 80, you're looking better than most your peers anyway.

No. 89530

>>89526
It's not really about getting sex. It's about causing as much torment and pain as possible usually. Them getting off on it is mostly a side benefit.

No. 89540

>>89518
>age range 16-23
It's disgusting to me that the boys' ages were taken into account to lessen their sentence. 16 is old enough to know it's wrong. People should know that hurting people is wrong as a kid. 5 year olds know that physical violence is wrong. 16+ criminals don't deserve any leniency because of their ages.

>The next day, they just continue their activities like nothing happened.

That's disgusting. They're obviously vile scum to be able to rape someone to death and not have it affect them at all. I hope people remember what they've done and it follows them around forever.

No. 89542

>>89540
It won't. If they can do it in the first place they'll never actually care. They'll just do whatever they need to get a lesser sentence at most.

No. 89544

File: 1462202461062.jpg (43.73 KB, 251x376, IMG_6361.jpg)

>>89525
I live in a SEA country.

Oh and one more thing that gets my blood boiled; the comments on the article. Some fuckers dared to victim blaming, asking what did she wear and maybe what she wore were too revealing. Like, are you fucking kidding me??? The victim just got home from school, she's in her school uniform. And SEA countries school uniform aren't cute like Japanese or Korean uniforms, they are modest, ugly and boring, to be exact (pic related). Just look at it! Is that 'too revealing' for you?? How in the world do you have the nerve to say that she's the one at fault?? WHERE'S YOUR COMMON SENSE, YOU TWATS!?? IT SHOULD BE NO-BRAINER WHO'S AT FAULT HERE!!

No. 89548

>>89544
It makes me lose faith in a lot of men tbh. I know there are some who genuinely do care and sympathize but from what I've seen both irl and through the internet they aren't even close to the majority. Even if it were "too slutty" she was 14. That would be way too young for a 16 even in a normal relationship much less something like this. I wish lynch mobs were still a thing in cases like these.

No. 89549

>>89544
Wtf is wrong with people? If the article was about a male rape victim, I'm sure none of the comments would say "was he wearing a revealing outfit??"
Assholes.

No. 89552

>>89549
Off topic, but speaking of male rape victim, I also hope media would expose and take it more seriously. I once read an article in a garbage entertainment website, ranking 'Top 5 Funny Male Rape Stories'. I was seriously in shock, who the fuck was writing this shit and get paid for it?? 'Funny' and 'Rape' should never be in the same sentence in my opinion. The comments on it were no better either, some of them say that the male victims should be grateful because a girl/girls wanted to have sex with him. Smh…some people really are dickheads.

No. 89555

>>89518
I truly hate this rotten world sometimes.
>>89548
> I wish lynch mobs were still a thing in cases like these.
Agreed.

No. 89566

>>89518

Please tell me which country so I can avoid it in the future please. I feel physically sick…

No. 89571

>>89552

It's fucking sick, and the thing that angers me the most is that this isn't even a case of women taking it lightly, it's other men who hear "rape" and immediately equate it with sex and think "well what's wrong with that? Get it there lad". It's fucking vile.

No. 89582

>>89552
What. The. Fuck.
it's like when people constantly make prison rape jokes or when a female teacher abuses a younger male student all you hear from other men is "playaa", "lucky guy" or other encouraging things.
I seriously want to throttle men who say stuff like that.

No. 89600

>>89398
What's your point, man? I'm jelly every time I'm reminded.
Obviously I'm not jealous of you though, you're just an asshole.

No. 89603

>>89552
>>89582
male rape victims (by women!) are just inherently pathetic and a failure at life. There's a huge difference between being raped by a man and by a woman. Guys who are raped by women seem to be very weak of mind, dumb, careless but most of all if they "come out" about it it makes them an utter disgrace. Being raped by a woman should be a mark of shame and not celebrated as being strong or some bullshit.
The least they can do is move on and not fucking cry to everyone that they've been raped. If you think that's toxic masculinity you may as well identify as an SJW now because none other than the utterly extreme left actually complains about normal shit like that

No. 89606

File: 1462210630207.jpg (54.75 KB, 625x626, 1461761074109.jpg)

>>89603
Don't give them replies.

No. 89607

I'm a manager at a small upscale grocery chain in an affluent town and my job makes me want to slit my wrists. I deal with entitled rich fucking pricks and bitches all day and am basically the only competent person at my job, so I normally do the job of 2-3 people every time I go into work because everyone else is fucking retarded. It's my fault I'm still there because I just graduated college but by the time I leave work I am so fucking drained that I can't muster up the motivation to update my resume and look for jobs.

No. 89608


No. 89614

File: 1462211786071.jpg (48.82 KB, 736x552, 1cffe77ad7e714097bdf9e5352cdf0…)

>>89607
don't slit your wrists anon, don't give those rich fuckers the satisfaction. as far as not having energy, you need to stop being sad and tired; you need to get real fucking mad. use that anger to wrestle time for yourself away from the beast that is life/work. get on a regular workout schedule and ironically it should help improve your energy levels. you can do it, don't give up now!

No. 89655

>was supposed to have guitar lesson today after 6 weeks of my teacher being absent
>haven't played anything in those six weeks
>constantly have negative/intrusive thoughts involving him
>about to show up to his place
>see him and his wife
>turn around and leave entirely
I ended up hiding somewhere and crying. I'm afraid of him because, in my head, if I don't practice my guitar, he'll be punishing me in some way, whether it just be through criticism of my playing or by touching/abusing me. I want this to end

No. 89656

I've been reading the background on that "Eliza" character on /r9k/, and it makes me really upset. Why are there so many fucked up 15 year old girls these days? Especially on a place like 4chan. They need better oversight or they'll just end up getting used by a succession of men.

No. 89669

>>89656
It's not as if she isn't bringing a lot of that upon herself, you think she doesn't enjoy that kind of attention?

No. 89672

>>89669
She's 15 dude.

No. 89675

I've been fantasizing about suicide a lot lately. Specially just sticking a knife to my throat, stabbing myself through the heart, blowing my brains out with a shotgun. It's all I dream everyday, I can't think of anything else. My medication stopped them for a bit but they returned stronger than ever couple of days ago, every time I see a knife I want to stick it to my throat and just end it all.

No. 89677

>>89672
Who actively participates on a website where she ban evades and know she doesn't belong, going as far to make reactionary YouTube videos just to bring in more draw.

She knows exactly what she's doing.

No. 89679

>>89677
>reactionary

What do you mean by this?

>She knows exactly what she's doing.


No she doesn't. She's young, gullible and naive.

Are you that proud black woman from the other thread? Makes sense your jealousy of white women would apply to even young teenagers lol.

No. 89703

>>89679
She takes posts from r9k and tries to "troll" the anons by making videos in response to them and linking them. No idea if they're still up, but one time someone pointed out how easy it would be to collect her info based on them and she made a lot of them private/deleted after that.
>Are you that proud black woman from the other thread?
No, I'm white and know from personal experience that 15 year olds are perfectly capable of reading website rules, and breaking those rules, thus bringing themselves into a lot of trouble on their own accords.
I'm not jealous of stupidity.

No. 89704

>>89703
Do you realize how gullible the average girl is, let alone the average teenage girl?

Yeah, she's stupid. I'm not denying that, but I still feel sorry for her. Girls her age are meant to have the oversight of their parents and older siblings.

No. 89706

>>89704
>gullible
>is a failure of social intelligence in which a person is easily tricked or manipulated into an ill-advised course of action
So you're telling me that pop-up and the rules on 4chan that explicitly state that you must be 18 or older to post somehow "manipulated" her into posting? No, she's breaking a rule that's meant to protect underage twats like herself.
If she chooses to ignore the warning and ban evades, she gets what's coming to her. She's old enough to reason and make decisions, she's just making bad ones.

No. 89707

>>89706
No, I'm saying she's a gullible, naive, stupid teenage girl. There really isn't much more to it than that.

I don't expect women to be as conscious of consequences as men are.

No. 89709

>>89707
>isn't much more to it than that
Y'know, other than her blatantly putting herself at risk and getting herself into a lot of shit with people who are smarter than her.
What kills me the most about people like her, is if she really didn't want the attention anymore, all she'd have to do is stop posting and lay low for a couple months.

No. 89722

>>89614
Oh see that's the thing, I work out for an hour every single day no questions asked because lord knows what would happen if I didn't. It isn't enough sometimes- it isn't that my physical energy levels are drained but my mental energy levels, if that makes sense. Like I run out of fucks to give, very very quickly. So by the time I get home I go to the gym for an hour and have no fucks to even attempt finding a new job. I just live day to day like this and it's a really retarded cycle.

No. 89724

>>89679
>Are you that proud black woman from the other thread?
m8. Are you seriously trying to carry arguments/shitposting from one thread to another by accusing other people of being the person you disagreed with previously? Don't do that. That's cancerous and pathetic.

No. 89751

>>89709
HAHAHA oh man, I just went to r9k to check it out and apparently she's a drug addict too. Heroin.

What a nice kid!

No. 89754

>>89751
I would have thought women would have more sympathy for a young girl.

Honestly it's off putting to speak to a girl who has no sympathy for other women.

No. 89756

>>89754
I don't care if you want to fuck her dude, it's called responsibility. She has none. Deal with it.

No. 89758

>>89756
I don't want to fuck her.

No. 89760

>>89758
Then cut out the whiteknighting.
A fifteen year old knows the consequences of shooting up heroin, even if she necessarily lacks the sense to not be an attention whore.

She almost deserves her own lolcow thread.

No. 89764

>>89760
>15 year old girl knows consequences of being an impulsive idiot

Complete nonsense. Look at the media environment in which children are raised.

>She almost deserves her own lolcow thread.


I'll personally ask the admin to remove it if you do. She's 15. She doesn't deserve that.

No. 89769

>>89758
Why are you defending this?
Most 15 year olds aren't doing heroin because they know better, or have a decent family structure to not be put in that kind of situation.

It's like you can't comprehend that teens make conscious decisions to start dangerous drugs. There's consequences for actions, but you're saying there shouldn't be.

So all those teens who are in juvenile detention centers or foster homes because of drug use be set free of no discipline, by your logic, because they weren't really in control to begin with? That's bullshit.

No. 89774

>>89769
Because I think women, especially young teens, are more naive and gullible and malleable to media influence.

So I feel empathy for them.

No. 89777

>>89774
What media do you watch where 15 year olds are glamorized into doing heroin?

No. 89783

>>89777
I didn't say glamorized, but the media certainly has normalized drug usage. Pot is portrayed as something fairly normal these days.

No. 89785

>>89760
If you support VenusAngelic and her weird pedo relationship with that Jap, you are a massive fucking hypocrite.

No. 89790

>>89783
>comparing pot to heroin
DROPPED.
>>89785
I don't and I think that's just as creepy.
But the least I can say about Peenus is that she's not some gross camwhore with a drug habit and several STDs.

No. 89792

>>89790
>hurrr pot is totally good for you

trashman.jpg

No. 89795

>>89792
It's certainly not habit-forming and a life destroyer like heroin is. Wanna try again, Eliza?

No. 89798

>>89795
It absolutely fucking is habit forming.

No. 89800

>>89764
They do know the consequences. It's only when they are with their peers that the consequences don't leap out at them. But a lot of this shit can be mitigated by protective factors like authoritative parenting.

No. 89802

>>89798
Show me the source that says smoking pot will get you addicted just as bad as heroin.

I won't wait up for your retarded ass, lmao

No. 89803

>>89798
Anon said like heroin, not hat it wasn't at all. The distinction is that it's not as intensely habit forming as an opioid.

No. 89804

>>89792
>>89783
>>89798
You sound like a 15 year old. No wonder you don't like being told you have full responsibility for sticking a needle in your arm

No. 89805

What is going on with Eliza now this time? Can someone summarize it for me plz

No. 89822

File: 1462230350479.jpg (64.37 KB, 500x380, image.jpg)

>>89722
i see! i get you. i don't have any more advice so i'm just gonna send you some good vibes now k. congratulations on finishing school, if i read that right? maybe you just need to clarify what kind of job you would rather have and that may bring you some necessary mental motivation. i do understand being drained of mental energy, and it sucks. that's harder to fix. i find personally that working on something helps balance my head. preferably something not related to school or work, something that makes only you happy.

you sound awesome, i believe in you buddy, you'll make out of your stinky job so don't let it get you down

No. 89825

>>89272
Next time he says it just make it obvious that you know that, it's the truth and being upfront about it should stop it. IMO it sounds like he's trying to project his feelings for you, onto you, in some weird attempt to lessen the damage sustained from realising you aren't interested in him. He sounds like a bit of a tool.

No. 89826

>>89373
So you're only allowed to feel bad about your body if it's at a certain end of the extreme but not the other?

No. 89839

Maybe this is what I get for using tumblr in the first place, but I feel like I have to put a giant disclaimer "REBLOG DOES NOT MEAN ENDORSEMENT OF THE TUMBLR IT CAME FROM". I have an art/photography tumblr and naturally at least 50% of the people I follow are raging extreme leftist social justice tards who post misguided tweets and memes in between all of the pretty pictures.

No. 89852

>>89839
No one who thinks that everyone that uses the same website must have the same views should be taken seriously anyway, this applies to tumblr, 4chan, facebook, lolcow and virtually every other site on the internet.
If you're not personally posting/sharing dumb shit then you can safely ignore whatever criticisms you want.

No. 89870

>>89518
How much you want to bet they were sandniggers? I bet you live in the UK…

No. 89872

>>89870
they said they're in SEA

No. 89873

>>89566
All SEA countries are shitholes.

No. 89874

>>89675
Anon, I think you should seek for help again, it's not healthy to think about suicide all the time.

No. 89879

>>89566
>>89873
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3393779/Sister-murdered-British-backpacker-Hannah-Witheridge-reveals-court-officials-told-parents-just-make-one-raped-killed-Koh-Tao.html

>Girl and husband killed, girl is raped by two men

>Thai officials told girls parent to "make another one"

SEA countries are scum

No. 89882

My best friend nearly died of a heroin overdose last night and I'm really worried that he's addicted to this shit already. He's got so much going for him–intelligence, wealth, good looks, the whole nine stupid yards, but he's going to throw it all away chasing the dragon.
I don't know what I would do if I lose him. We're both pretty self-destructive people. But if he is addicted, just warning him to be careful isn't going to do shit and he's certainly not gonna stop just to make me happy.
Fuck.
I mean, I'm not any better, I've tried h before, but I don't crave it like he does. I just drink instead. At least I'm not violent about it, but turning into a weepy little bitch isn't much better. I'm already depressed, and I know drinking doesn't help, but sometimes it feels like at least it numbs me enough to function. I barely leave my apartment these days, I've lost touch with nearly everyone I know, I have absolutely no ambition or real love for myself, and everything I've worked for up until now seems fucking worthless and like a huge waste of time and resources. I wish I could just quit life. Not kill myself, because that would be even a bigger waste of time and effort for the people who would have to clean up after me, just that I could make it so that I never existed. I seriously think about joining some kind of religious order at times so I could take a vow of silence and just fuck off to a cell somewhere, but they probably wouldn't let me in on account of being a filthy apostate.
I don't know what to do.
At least I'm not in debt, I guess. Cash rules everything around me.

No. 89886

>>89874

I gave up, I get help all the time and still doesn't work. I'm fundamentally fucked in the head, nature doesn't want me in the gene pool, no one wants me.

No. 89900

I'm really pissed off at a friend because she knows I'm not financially stable to do the same things she can(we initially planned to go to a music festival together but $800 not incl plane tix fuck that) and she keeps rubbing it in my face that I can't make it by saying shit like "what if your faves go, wouldn't that be funny". EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS I CAN'T MAKE IT and it's driving me up the wall. I wanna be happy for her but I also can't tell if she's doing this shit on purpose or not, just to piss me off. Am I just being too fuckin sensitive?

No. 89901

>>89900
Your friend is the asshole in this situation, I'd be pissed too if I were you.

No. 89904

File: 1462260830348.jpg (33.03 KB, 368x700, IMG_7998.JPG)

>>89900
Having friends who are way better off than you is the worst, wouldn't wish it on anyone. Every single friend I had in high school was fucking loaded and it made me want to die.

My friend was telling me the other day about how his mum (OB/GYN who also has her own practice) lost 600k in taxes (nearly six times what my mum makes) last year like it was nothing, meanwhile my mother is worried about getting laid off from her job because she's one of the older staff at the university she works at and they're looking to downsize.

No. 89910

>>89904

Same thing with me, I've gone to a school in a rich district in highschool because I got stabbed in my first year at my ghetto one. Everyone was loaded and I stuck out like a sore thumb, thankfully there weren't many snobby little shits and some of them were Bros.

Our business got bankrupt couple of years ago and worked in lots of shitty jobs.

Thankfully found a comfy office job after literally shoveling shit at farms and stuff for years now and things looking good.

No. 89927

I recently got prescribed a fluoridated toothpaste by my dentist, and whilst I'm extremely against artificial fluoridation of water supplies I'm totally cool with using it topically because that's where the actual benefits lie in remineralisation.
Now reading the package leaflet it states "whilst using this product avoid intake of fluoridated water or salt", obviously this is because fluoride does absolutely fucking nothing when ingested and only serves to make you become gradually sick and can actually kill children who aren't developed enough to handle a dose of poison.

Unfortunately I began studying in a new city last year, just my luck it happens to be in one of the catchment zones for continued artificial water fluoridation even though the practice is actually banned in most countries in the world now that we know it's a fucking NEUROTOXIN.

Anyway now I'm actually kind of excited because I've been scheming for a way to fuck my local council up for medicating me against my consent and I think this prescription just became my golden ticket. Going to hit them with an equity violation so they'll have to buy me nonfluoridated bottled drinking water every week for the rest of my residence here. I'm so relieved I won't be forced to ingest poison anymore.

No. 89941

>>89927
How many rolls of tinfoil do you use in a week? Can you make other stuff out of it aside from hats?

No. 89955

>>89927
This is such an obscure and specific post full of stupidity that I'm having trouble believing it's just bait.

No. 90017

File: 1462303458885.png (454.09 KB, 424x415, 1439340158093.png)

I recently got in touch with a friend again and we were getting along so well I was wondering why we lost touch in the first place. I apparently forgot how clingy they get. You'd think I was their only friend by how often they message me even when I don't respond.

It's just grating how they could be a legitimately cool person to chat with, but there's all these little factors that group together that makes talking to them consistently really annoying. Doesn't help that they're super beta and follow that "non-binary" bullshit.

Just…why do they have to be so pushy and irritating?

No. 90022

>>89941
>>89955

>science has never been wrong before! Thalidomide was just a fluke! >:'(


You seriously think that fluoridation of water has been banned in over 30 countries in the last decade alone for no reason? You think it's just a coincidence that the only country that fluoridates their entire supply, Singapore, retains THE highest incidences of dental fluorosis in the world? Do you have any idea why toothpaste tubes contain a warning to supervise babies and toddlers when brushing? No, it's not to ensure they clean their properly, it's because fluoride actually kills smalls children if they swallow enough, I believe a quarter of a tube is enough. Google it.

>"The evidence that fluoride is more harmful than beneficial is now overwhelming… fluoride may be destroying our bones, our teeth, and our overall health."


This is a statement issues by Dr. Hardy Limeback, Canadian associate professor and head of preventive dentistry at the University of Toronto and former President of the Canadian Association of Dental Research, but ofc you know more than him right? Because "da gubment told me so".

http://www.thelancet.com/journals/laneur/article/PIIS1474-4422(13)70278-3/fulltext#article_upsell

^article that the Lancet published in 2014 officially classifying fluoride as a neurotoxin. Enjoy your poison cucks.

No. 90023

>>90022
I stopped using fluoride toothpaste but my dentist chewed me out saying there was nothing wrong with it and I need it for my teeth so I went back to fluoride… IDK

No. 90026

>>90023

Topically it's fine. Fluoride does actually occur naturally in water deposits when applied to the enamel it helps to remineralise/harden it, but the fluoride that is added to the water supply is not naturally occurring, it's usually run-off from the manufacturing of aluminum, among other things, and ingesting it really fucks you up.

This was originally a huge fucking problem around the 1920's - 1930's when the heavy manufacturing industries began to take off. In America a lot of these plants got set up next to farms, but the stacks on the factories were releasing the fluoride by-product into the air instead of disposing it. Farmers gradually began noticing their animals not walking properly, eventually becoming sick and dying. Ofc they later discovered that it was the fluoride.

The scariest and most damaging part of it that actually the body is only capable of eliminating approx. half of it from your system. The other half remains forever, and builds up and up and up until eventually it begins causing problems, which a lot of people are beginning to heavily suspect is just another element that is contributing to their mass of disease and sickness that humans are currently experiencing as a species.

No. 90027

>>90023

Oh actually, look! Now this is interesting! The exact same conditions are occuring in Iceland at the moment, and farms nearby to the aluminium smelters are becoming sick and dying.

http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2014/09/fluoride-hurting-iceland-farm-animals-201492964047553517.html

>some farmers suspect fluoride from aluminium smelters is making animals sick, but the companies sharply disagree.

>but the companies sharply disagree

Hmmm…..
Reminds me of the Itai-itai byou incident in Japan when manufacturing plants were dumping mercury into the river and sea around a nearby town. All the people and animals began getting sick from consuming the water and fish, both physically and mentally, and eventually they died in madness and agony. Turns out the companies knew it was aluminium that was the cause all along, but they denied it for years.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Itai-itai_disease

Ofc guys just remember, we used to believe that asbestos was safe as well. Things change, science develops, cover-ups unravel.

No. 90029

I hate the fact that I'm too nervous to take the plunge into more alternative fashion. Growing up I've always been really into it but my mom was always the kind of person to pseudo-support me where she never outright said I shouldn't do it but when I would have the piece of clothing in my hands or make the appointment to get a weird hair cut she'd do the whole "Are you sure you want to do that?/Anon, I don't think it's the best idea…" and when I'd back out she'd act all confused as to why I didn't but be obviously pleased.

Now I'm in my mid-20s and rapidly getting out of the stage where I can still pull some of it off but I really want to (even just doing some of the more understated stuff like black jeans and some stupid trendy omocat top or something) but when I start looking for stuff I hear her voice in the back of my head and I second guess myself to the point where I don't get it. I make my own money and I should but I just can't seem to cross over. So now I just scroll through the internet getting jelly even at snowflakes because they're off making idiotic mistakes but at least they (sometimes, kek) look cool and trendy.

No. 90033

>>90029
If you couldn't handle your mom's pseudosupport I doubt you would have had the thick skin to go out wearing alt fashion tbh.

anyway, you could always buy a few pieces and wear them in your room and see how you like it. seeing the clothes on your person might be the jolt of confidence you need to go out in them

No. 90036

Help, I'm socially retarded.

I’m living in a flat with three other girls. Two moved out recently. The two new roommates are friends with my other old roommate. So now I’m basically living with three close friends while I’m just an acquaintance/flatmate to them.

I really don’t know how to behave around them. I’m an introvert and this is freaking me out. Like… right now they are sitting in the kitchen and eating cake. Do I sit with them? Do I say hello and then ignore them afterwards? I hear them talking and laughing and it sort of feels like I’m being left out even though I'm quite happy in my room and I don't feel like making small talk. I’m also afraid they kick me out so another friend of theirs can live here.

They are nice and sometimes ask me if I want to eat with them and stuff. But obviously they won’t ask everytime they do something together so… I’m probably overthinking this but I don’t know how to behave. I don’t want to intrude. But I also don’t want them to think I don’t want to do stuff with them. I also don’t want to appear clingy. ???!!!

No. 90038

>>90033
Ah, rereading it it comes off that I'm not confident to wear it which isn't the reason that I don't do it. It's that I can't fucking take the step to buy anything because I feel like I'm wasting my money?? Like every time I see something and I'm like "Oh that's cool I really like that" I just start thinking about those $40 or $50 or whatever dollars could go towards something more 'normie' even though I have other bullshit hobbies like knitting that I spend money on. Like I was basically guilt tripped into not doing anything alternative (it took a good 4 or 5 years until my mother stopped making the guilt trip comments on me going to conventions) growing up so I always feel guilty as fuck making any sort of weeby/alt purchase.

No. 90042

>>90036
Maybe just make sure to be polite and ask if your company is okay - "Do you mind if I sit down with you and have some cake?" I'm sure they will reassure that they enjoy spending time with you.

No. 90043

>>90036

I'm in a similar boat. Recently moved into a student house with 10 other people and while almost everyone keeps to themselves (I've been here 2 weeks and still haven't seen 2 of the roommates), there are three that are really social and friendly. I feel awkward because they've known each other for almost a year now and always eat dinner/hang out together and while I am friendly with them it is obvious I'm not one of them (still trying to figure out if they like me or not, kek).

If you want to befriend them just be forward. When they're eating ask if you can join in and do small talk (movies, shows, general college/work life are good starters) and maybe ask if they want to ever grab a coffee or watch a movie at home!

If you want to keep to yourself then don't stress. If you run into them in the kitchen just say hello whenever you see them and that should be fine. If you feel awkward just do small talk like the weather or if they prompt the small talk just keep it lightly active and that's it. Never feel obligated.

No. 90045

I have 10 hours bus trip right now and I already have %50 left on my battery and can't sleep on busses at all. Fucking kill me.

No. 90046

File: 1462312193345.gif (513.68 KB, 500x269, tumblr_nq5w10eDo81ux7wsqo1_500…)

>>90042

I feel like asking them if it's ok would be too polite. Like kind of insulting to assume it wouldn't.

>>90043

thx. I think our situations are a little bit different because it's not a student house. The place is being rented by one of the girls so they can kick me out.
And there are no other people who behave as awkward as I do. But you’re right I should figure out what I want and behave appropriately.

God they didn't just eat cake. They made fucking croissants. Like… they baked them themselves. They are so fucking crafty. I'm not crafty at all. I don't even cook. I'm going to feel like the worst leech. They even left a note informing me there are fresh croissants in the oven. wtf. this is too much. I can't handle people being this nice.

No. 90098

>>90022
>cucks
Go back to 4chan

No. 90103

>>90046
>They even left a note informing me there are fresh croissants in the oven.

This is so nice, omw. And it seems like a genuine kind of nice too. Next time they ask you to eat, just say yes and have a good time. If you say yes enough, you'll become a part of the fold and they'll just assume you'll eat with them without having to ask you. If they cook/bake again, you should definitely ask if you can help or if they can teach you a thing or two. Crafty people love teaching other people, and it's a good bonding experience. Plus, tasty baked goods.

>>90098
You do realise that's where lolcow originated, right?

No. 90122

>>90103
Not sure why that means we should let the worst parts of 4chan into here. The cuck meme was literally born out of insecurity.

No. 90123

>>90122

Quiet cuck.

No. 90133

>>90122
Just like the faggot meme right?

No. 90158

>>90036
Wow, I am pretty sure this is exactly how I would behave when I finally move and if the roommates know each other.

I'm looking for a place/roommates now and a lot of matches I'm getting are from girls saying "let's be friends and hang out and share a bottle of wine!" or "my roommate and I are bffs and we're looking for another to join the fold" and similar. I mean, I'm not opposed to the idea of being friends with my roommates, but it just feels like added pressure to have that hanging there from the get-go, and also I don't know how to /don't really like to socialize. Every time I do I remember why I don't, and then avoid doing it just long enough to forget why I don't. Idk man, I feel ya.

No. 90169

College vent here.

I missed my final project presentation for my language class today because my fucking alarm clock didn't go off. I have to go in next week and do it and I won't be able to get an A because now it's late.

I was working on my essay yesterday for another class. Just an 8 page research paper. Go to get some water. Come back, the screen of my laptop is black. It now won't turn on and my paper is completely lost. I have to start all over again at the library and it's due tomorrow.

Another professor forgot to do a study guide for our final, even though it's worth 30% of our grade. He said he would do it, which is why I'm upset because this will be a cumulative final, who knows what the fuck will show up on it.

I'm ready to kill myself tbh. And no one understands why I'm not replying to texts.

No. 90174

>>90169
First and foremost you need to take your laptop into the students support or whatever they have and show them this has happened. You will get your grade docked because it's "your fault for not backing it up" or whatever but should give you an extension.
Perhaps if it's just the screen or power, the IT staff can even get your files out, but that would void any warranty on your laptop.

I went through the exact same thing, it's horrible, don't even try to hide from the staff, let them know how terrible things are

No. 90192

>>90158
I think they're just trying to be welcoming

No. 90193

>>90022
Nothing in that study indicates the level of fluoride in toothpaste or drinking water is neurotoxic. It discusses Chinese schoolchildren exposed to contaminated water with fluoride concentrations between 40-80x higher than what's in the US's water.

Iron is also in our water supply naturally. Multiply the iron concentration by 30x, and guess what, it becomes neurotoxic as well.

>You seriously think that fluoridation of water has been banned in over 30 countries in the last decade alone for no reason?

And 25 countries do intentionally fluoridate water; some starting only recently. Including Ireland, Canada, Australia, Brazil, Vietnam, and many others. 28 other countries have naturally fluoridated water, with no additional fluoride added.

No study has ever shown that 3 mg/L or less of fluoride added to water supplies has any sort of neurotoxic effects. The US uses under 1.2 mg/L.

The big bad gubmint is not trying to poison or mind control you. And finding a tiny handful of doctors who argue against the medical consensus only harms your argument, since you have to cherrypick the small few who are against it.

No. 90194

>>90169
Always back your files up. Or, much easier, use something like Dropbox and store everything there, so it's automatically backed up 24/7.

No. 90195

Have PTSD from being raped and abused as a child/teenager, typical pattern of abused seeking out abuser as it's all I've ever known, went for a few asshole guys in my time two of whom were violent and I have scars and ribs that healed wrong from them beating me and not allowing me to go to hospital. My current partner of two years is wonderful and everything I really should have been looking for, he's someone I can trust and believe when he says he loves me. We're still getting used to dealing with my occasional flashbacks which are paralysing and fuck me up for days afterwards but he's ok with it, has his own demons; we deal with our problems ourselves. Just as things are looking up I'm diagnosed with epilepsy and I have two arteries in my brain that are enlarged from trauma and are causing migraines so I'm not able to work at the moment, my mother is being very snide and nasty about this and calling me a liar, bitch and a hypocrite for some reason or another (she stayed with my dad who abused me so you can see who's 'side' she's on but we have contact as she's my mum and I just can't lose all contact as she was loving at one time) and generally all of this shitstorm surrounding me at the moment is bringing me down and making it very difficult to get out of bed and get on with things. I'm fitting really badly lately, exacerbated by the stress of family arguing and medical problems, so I'm tired pretty much all the time and can sleep all day and night if I let myself. I'm feeling like a useless piece of shit who can't deal with her past and can't deal with her illness. It's getting a little hard to carry on but I'm still trying to hang in there for my cat and my partner.

No. 90211

File: 1462423878108.jpg (103.41 KB, 1280x720, 1265570287366.jpg)

Kind of tired of some of my friends at this point. I had a bad few days where I was dealing with my depression and exhaustion from said depression so I didn't want to socialize with anyone as a result, which resulted in them panicking that I had done something dangerous to myself because I wasn't responding to them, which I know was bad on my part but I just didn't have it in me to talk to them. This resulted in us not communicating right before my birthday (the 1st) and me making other plans because I didn't think either of them would be available (one friend decided to go out of town even though we had planned to hang out and the other friend is well known as being unreliable when it comes to hanging out so I wasn't keeping hopeful). After telling the one friend that I was hanging out with someone else I got a long angry message about how I was lying because they talked to that person and assumed they were out of town from their response when I told them previously they were still in town. I was incredibly upset because of how she handled the situation. She told me she had contacted them because she wanted to surprise me but had not said anything other than 'When are you coming back from ____?' and then used that against me and that she was 'so worried' that she was going to drive up to my house just to see if I was alive, which made me even more upset because if that were the case why not contact someone like my parents if you were that worried instead of waiting? It was very clear she was just trying to figure out why I didn't want to hang out with them and she was just trying to pull excuses out of her ass at this point. The whole thing was very poorly explained and it made me extremely irritated. I apologized multiple times just to be done with it because I didn't want to lash out and tell her off after all the times she made me feel shitty and now she's not speaking to me and I'm just…I'm very tired of this dramatic bullshit. I shouldn't have to tell them when I'm going on a break, yes they're good friends that I care about so much but at this point it feels like they're treating me like I'm a child and have to talk to them before doing things. It sucks and I don't know what to do without having it blow up in my face.

No. 90216

>>90211
Move on, if they wont allow you to progress with your recovery it's the only option it seems.

No. 90224

>>90174
Your university sounds awfully nice, mine doesn't accept ANY excuses with technology.

No. 90230

>>90195
I'm sorry anon. I can totally understand why you feel this way. But you're not useless, you just had a long way to go before you got in an somewhat safe environment. from here you can start again and get help you deserve. I've been abused by my father too and remembered since my 21th birthday. 2 years ago I got to my first therapy and its helpful.
you don't have to listen to your mother, she is somekind of abuser too, since she didn't protect her own child.

No. 90247

I wish I could get over these shitty thoughts.

I've been into fitness and lifting for about a year now. Right now I'm trying to build muscle and it's working slowly. However, I miss being thin. Used to be severly underweight, basically a skeleton. Girls would always compliment me etc etc etc, the only downside was obviously fucking up my health.

Almost two years passed and now I'm an almost healthy, looking good (ofc there's a lot of place for improvment) but I keep telling myself "Why? Why do you want big muscle and struggle so much? You had what a lot of girls want. You only have one life, are you really going to spend it working out etc? It's a waste of time. You don't need to be strong in this world, only mentally."

Ughh, I always counter it with functionality > looks but seriously, with all the shit that's going on it's harder to fight back.

I won't stop now, but I wish my brain would stop fighting itself.

No. 90253

>>90247
Anon, do you see a therapist? If you don't, I think seeing one would be a good idea to help you deal with how you're feeling.

No. 90284

I'm getting old. Now that I'm 26 I feel like everything is over. Does anybody else feel like this? Or is it just in my head?

No. 90285

>>90247

If you ever get into a fight out somebody attacks you you're going to be supremely glad of that functionality Anon. You got to remember, skelly-tier thin only really looks good on teens and young adults whilst they still have that soft suppleness. Past that unless you have supermodel proportions it usually looks gross. Now it's about the time you should be considering your body not in terms of societal aesthetic but physical wellness and health.

No. 90286

>>90253
Nope, too expensive
>>90285
I'm aware but y'know, my head tells me otherwise etc

>>90284
I'm turning 21 this year and feel lile this lol
I think it's normal

No. 90289

>>90247
You, like so many others on this website, care too much about what other people think and thinking that people care more than they actually do.

No. 90292

>>90284
It's what ~society tells you you should feel. I've been told that your 30s are even better than your 20s, and they didn't seem to be lying about it.

>>90286
Are there any free/low cost places you can go? If you're from Australia, I can list a few ideas for you. Hope things get better for you soon, anon.

No. 90296

>>90289
You see, the only reason why I cared (I don't really anymore) is because it was the only thing I had. As dramatic and retarded as this sounds I got no talent (in anything), I'm not pretty (a bit below average maybe), I sure as hell am not smart and I'm socially retarded. Now that I'm older I'm trying to fix what I can but yea…it won't change too much.

>>90292
I'm from the Balkans sadly so even if there was a place that's free, it would require me to travel for a few hours. Guess I'll try once I get a job again and save up some cash

No. 90303

>>90289
yes. in many ways anxiety and vanity are deeply intertwined. nobody is as concerned as we think they are; everyone else is just as busy freaking out about their own lives.

just have to stop giving a fuck

muscles and fitness are fantastic anyhow. it's good to be strong in your own body. nobody will be complimenting your skeleton when you're dead in a ditch because you couldn't defend yourself or something. sorry to be so morbid but it's the truth. you have to take care of yourself first and foremost, and people complimenting your skelly body don't deserve the time of day

No. 90308

Started therapy to diagnose anxiety and what I thought was ADHD. Starting to turn out I might have pretty severe PTSD. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I've spent so many years killing my feelings and now everything is spilling over the edge and I' crying and freaking out all the god damn time. I have no control anymore. Jesus christ I'm scared.

No. 90343

I almost got shot trying to break up a fight last night, this is why I fucking hate parties. Fucking mandatory company shit.

No. 90352

I got my calculus midterm back and i got a 76% which is disappointing as fuck and kind of unfair since I got the right answers and i knew how to do all the problems but my professor is so anal about notation and work so I got so many points docked off. Like the thing is, the test clearly says,"you may use any theorem/method we discussed in class". but then he docked over half the points i could have gotten for a problem because i didn't use U-substitution, even though nowhere did he specify that we were supposed to use that particular method to solve the problem. Sigh i guess I'll have to do really well on the final or my GPA will be kill.

No. 90358

>>90308
what happened to you?

No. 90360

>>90358
her dog probably died

No. 90366

>>90343
>almost got shot
>fucking mandatory company shit

What kind of company do you work at, a mafia?

No. 90368

>>90366
>>90358

Anon is obviously a moll.

No. 90369

>>90368

It was a company party with mandatory attendance, there were other people too. One of our guys got in to a fight with some guys harassing the girls from our compan, we outnumbered them so two of them pulled out their piece and opened fire, 6 people got injured. Happens a lot in here meh.

No. 90378

Thats it.
I broke up with my bf over alocohol

I cant stand people who drink (maybe bc of my dad i dont know)
Well my bf obviously wants to drink and get drunk and i just cant stand it
So i broke up with him
I wish there were more people who didnt drink alcohol honestly

No. 90379

>>90358
Typical shit childhood narc/bordeline mother. Supressed any emotion for 25 years, therapist opened my floodgates. I'm just a mess and ranted.

To the other anon, yeah, sure. You probably have it way worse. I get it.

No. 90384

>>90379
Well there are lots of options to end your pain if you know what I mean.

No. 90394

>>90379
this happens to me whenever I've gone to seek therapy.
at some point in the session, I just lose my shit and start crying hysterically. it's so embarrassing for me, especially because I usually cover up stuff pretty well outside of a therapist's office. my coping strategy is just to shunt everything to the side until something else forces me to think about it, though, which isn't necessarily the healthiest way of dealing with anything.
was the therapist any help, at least? the last clinic I went to just put me on these horrible meds for schizophrenia (which I don't even have) that made me into a zombie.

No. 90398

>>90379
I have ptsd too but I never cry in front of my psychologist tbh

No. 90400

>>90398
eh, if you can't spill your guts in front of a therapist, where can you? at least they're getting paid to listen to my sob story.

No. 90403

>>90394
Exactly what I'm dealing with. Luckily he has been helpful. I think. It's hard to cope with because I have to realize and come to terms with my coping mechanisms, and then try to stop turning to them. I'm having a shit time dealing with this, but I think it might be helping, long term. Thank you.

>>90398
I mean. That removed, unemotional state was what I clinged to my whole life. I felt pride in not crying, and when this psych finally broke me I felt ashamed. Scared. Most of all angry. I guess that's logical. I hope this will help. I have no idea though. >>90400
I have tried to think like this as well. I'm paying him, why not use it for what it's worth.

>>90384
How come there is always a BPD bitch wanting someone to kill themselves in these threads? I'm honestly curious why you assholes work so hard to make others feel bad. I don't understand. Why are you so mean? Do you get off on it?

No. 90404

>>90403
I dont have BPD. I'm just suggesting something which means my heart is probably much bigger than yours will ever be. Personally I feel guilty when I hurt someone but since I wasn't really rude I can answer this question for you for the real meanies, they probably have a shitty life irl and it gets them off to be mean to random anons on image boards. I so fucking hate this too. But it's a good thing I always try to be nice and helpful.

No. 90450

>>90404
I really do get what you are saying, but telling me your "heart is bigger than mine will ever be" is hardly nice and big hearted, is it now.

No. 90455

>>90404
Well newsflash, suggesting suicide ISN'T a nice thing to do. You really are full of yourself that you feel like a saint for suggesting fucking suicide. What the fuck is wrong with you? You are really fucking disturbed.

No. 90457

>>90455
Where did I say that she should commit suicide? I would never say such a thing. Why am I being accused of doing something so awful?!
>>90450
It's not. Sorry for that.

No. 90693

File: 1462620249396.png (76.78 KB, 320x285, 1444931194583.png)

>barely graduated high school
>can't get into any college
>can't get a job
>living with physically/sexually abusive mother
>literally no friends
>heroin and opiate addiction
>fat and ugly as hell
>constantly suicidal

No. 90697

>>90455
Even >>90403 interpreted your 'well there are lots of options to end your pain if you know what I mean' as a hint to suicide. Don't act all innocent, you really sound insincere as fuck, especially since you frantically keep saying how wonderful you supposedly are.

No. 90698

>>90697
lets put words in my mouth you faggot

No. 90701

>>90698

No one is putting words in your mouth, you literally said it. If you weren't implying suicide, what the fuck were you implying?

No. 90702

>>90701
therapy, positive thinking, it will get better, you can do it, you arent alone in this etcetcetc

No. 90716

File: 1462629551944.jpg (122.55 KB, 807x861, 1430288354341.jpg)

I was dating this guy then moved countries. Now he wants to come and live with me but the thing is, he's a drug addict and moving in specially in a country so far away from home is a big step I'm not sure I want to take but I don't know if he'll accept no for an answer.

No. 90739

sigh.

i never went to uni and at 23 and after 4 years in retail i'm starting to regret it. i'm trying to find a little cozy office job but have been receiving 0 responses. doesn't help that my anxiety is going haywire and i can hardly force myself to write a mildly captivating cover letter…

any successful education-less anons want to share their stories?

No. 90741

>>90739
Lose weight and marry a rich guy

No. 90766

>>90739
Just because you've worked retail doesn't necessarily mean you have no applicable skills anon.
What skills did you list on your resume and applications?

No. 90770

>>90766
the usual, ambitious, driven, works on own initiative, team player, enthusiastic, positive. suppose i should make it less of a cookie cutter thing but the whole thing is really bringing me down. i know i can do the job, i just don't know how to get the interview. sigh.

what field do you work in, anon? do you enjoy it? do you wish you could change jobs?

>>90741
why would i ever want to do that?

No. 90826

>>90716
>I don't know if he'll accept no for an answer
If this is a concern you have, you already know that living together is a terrible move and that it would also only make things more difficult for you if you decided to break it off afterwards
If you move in together and then he becomes a controlling nutcase that continues to 'not take no for an answer', don't come crying to us

No. 90830

>>90770
>enthusiastic, driven, positive
Nah, ditch those phrases.
Use words like customer service, critical thinking, creative problem solving, etc.

No. 90831

>>90739
I'm soon to have my associates degree and browsing on job search websites still has me worried.

You have four years of work experience at least, this can look good and many places look for experience.

No. 90836

>>90770
Make sure you back up all of these 'skills' on your CV
every pleb has a CV that says 'I am a confident team player with good attention to detail", it's almost a turn off. Don't use the phrases unless you have a great example of why you've used them.

No. 90867

I started working as a waitress recently, and fuck me do I hate customers. Most of them are dumb as fuck, think they're entitled to everything and throw fits like babies when they don't get what they want. By far the WORST are the SJW looking ones with dyed hair, fussy as fuck. I also hate middle aged women and families who bring their huge ass prams, blocking the way. This heavy fucking tray of food is going to come raining down on your ugly potato baby if you don't move it. And if you see me coming with your food, can you move your shit so I can put it down, instead of having to walk a huge loop to find an edge of the table can use? Fucking idiots.

I'm glad the field I'm going into involves no working with customers, because doing this already makes me hate people more than I already did.

No. 90942

>>90830
>>90836
hey, thanks for this, guys. i've already implemented some changes to my CV based on your advice. it helps to have somebody else's insight, especially when you're at the point where you're overthinking things and putting yourself down for it.

>>90867
ah, classic customer service woes. try not to let it get to you too much, though, and look at it as practice on patience. people fucking suck, yeah, but ultimately it's you who decides how to perceive the situations you're in and whether you get angry or not. (easier said than done – i did get better at this over the years though)

what's the field you're going into? do you have to stay in the waitressing job for long?

>>90831
four years of irrelevant experience but it is experience i suppose. i'd be happy to start getting some callbacks, is all.

job ads really do list an awful lot of requirements, don't they? i mean… shit. sure guys, i'm a very confident individual. very. i've had to steer away from a bunch of roles ideal for me just because i don't drive. ugh.

No. 90943

>>90867
I used to work as a concierge and I got so tired of fat businessmen trying to sneak hookers into their suites. The hoes were like the most obvious people ever but you can't even just chase them off, there's a whole lengthy procedure you must go through before you tell her politely to piss off.

No. 90944

>>90943

Is that illegal where you live or something?

No. 90968

>>90944
Yes? But more importantly these women are dumb as a brick wall and many of them are gross and rude as fuck and I don't want to have to smile and call them 'Ma'am' when I know they most likely just got back from Dubai where they were eating an oil sheikh's shit out of his arse for money.

No. 90971

>>90968

Really? I know prostitution is illegal in the (assuming) US, but escorting too? That surprises me.
It needs to be controlled, regulated and taxed. Banning it outright, as with most things, it's just dumb.

No. 90978

>>90942
>drive
Exactly that too! I never needed it before, but now it's a requirement for every job that appeals to me.
Might go get license this month just so I can start to qualify for jobs.

No. 91002

I have a crush on a coworker. I really doubt anything will come from it though and I know my social anxiety loser ass won't do anything.

This crush has made me realize that I'm 26 and still single though. So now I feel like shit. I work a shit retail job and have no idea what my future will be like. I'm finishing a certificate program so I can hopefully get another job (hopefully one not dealing with customers). I need to lose more weight before I even think about dating.

I feel like my life is at a stand still and by the time I get my shit together it will be too late.

No. 91028

Someone I know and would consider a friend (albeit not a particularly close one, last time I saw him I was buying weed off him a month ago) died yesterday and I haven't felt a single negative emotion about it since I found out and I can't tell if it's because we weren't close enough for it to really hurt me or I've just got some kind of apathy problems (something I've long suspected). He was a nice enough guy and I do see the shame in someone dying so young, but the news of his death hit me as if I'd been informed that he just went on holiday or something. I can't talk to anyone about it irl without sounding like an edgy teen and also it would be selfish to even bring it up when my friends are still probably dealing with his death themselves, so the question of whether something is wrong with me has just been nagging away.

No. 91033

>>91028
It's fine anon. I'm very resilient to people dying toi. It doesn't make you a bad person. Perhaps you're more aware of everyone's mortality. Perhaps you're more practical about grief. Maybe you acknowledge it can't feel as bad for you as it does for his parents. These are all perfectly normal and fine reactions.

No. 91065

Been looking at my ex's twitter and there's a pic of him laying with his gf.
Feels bad.

No. 91091

>>91065

Why are you doing this to yourself.

No. 91095

>>91091
Anon must be a glutton for punishment

No. 91103

I just need to scream into the void sometimes. Y'all are not obligated to read, I just need to write it down somewhere cause honestly I don't know where I'll be any time from now. At least maybe one day if I'm dead someone can see this and remember an anon somewhere that got swallowed by the chaos.

I've been treated in a pretty shitty way by people. I don't consider myself conventionally attractive, I'm rather plain, the kind of person you pass by in the street and never notice. I loathe myself and I am an artist that doesn't draw because I'm too insecure and I stopped five years ago. My family is abusive and day after day chips away at my confidence and my entire sense of self. Depression, anxiety, insecurity, abuse… shit I'm all used to.

Five years ago online, I met my best friend. We hit it off from the very first second I spoke to him in that msn group, we were all mutual friends. I hadn't trusted someone so quickly, so intensely. He's four years younger than me and he was just a teenager at the time. I was his "big sister" friend, even though we fancied each other a lot, it wasn't the right time, we never coincided, distance.. different countries both in Europe. He used to hide offline on msn so that he could be the first to say hi when I'd sign in, because I was always quick. We'd talk for hours, and hours, and hours. About everything and nothing. I helped him with his crushes even though it hurt.

Three years later, it just clicked. The time was right and I confessed. We started becoming closer. We moved from msn to skype and we spent more hours there. Staying up all night doing silly things and chatting until the sun would rise. Making silly cute doodles, or I'd send him handwritten letters or gifts he'd absolutely adore. Eventually… well it was natural we wanted to be together. And slowly it happened, talking about it with friends, family, making plans to meet up. My family is psycho and didn't want him to stay with me even though I'm a grownass female so he stayed at hotels. His fam though is cool so I'd stay at his house for a month at a time, usually at the holidays. Myself and him would be 24/7 on skype. We'd go to sleep with our laptops by our bedside so we could drift off together, we'd wake each other up, we'd cook together, chat together. My mum would sometimes yell at us to shut up, she'd shut the lid of the laptop while I was sleeping, she kept saying she wishes it could be over. But it never stopped us.

It was amazing. Having your best friend as your boyfriend? Having the person who knows you inside out? Being silly and goofy and comfortable, opening my boundaries, learning new things, teaching him new things, doing stuff together. Everyone was happy about us, except my parents who sabotaged it often. We were the golden team. The relationship everyone wanted to have. His family accepted me as one of their own. I'd get and give gifts at Christmas, family trips, his grandfather gave me his old huge dictionary so that I could slowly learn the language. We'd cook recipes over there from my own country and give it to the fam. We planned our life and future together. Sooner and sooner the time was coming to close the distance. Two amazing, wonderful years had passed since the start of our relationship, and we were looking forward to two more. He's a musician and he composed a song for me. I'd make things for him, handmade stuff. We both love and adore musicals. It was our thing. We'd listen to them all day, exchange shows, we'd make plans for all the West End shows we'd see together. We held off seeing bootlegs because we made promises to see them live one day. He was so sweet and gentle and caring. He's a feminist and he cares about social issues, about the environment, he's smart and we could he and I both have the same sense of punny, wordy humour. We'd derail into gibberish and laugh between ourselves. We'd make puns until we had to stop. We'd play games together. Sims was "our" thing. We both love the Sims. It was the first word I ever saw from him, actually. "Sims! :D" we'd chill out next to each other for hours on our laptops, playing our Sim games, seeing our families become awesome and all powerful.

But of course… shit always happens. People like me.. people like me don't get happy endings. He was at a school for a year. It's like a school for self development, to partake in hobbies or interests or try new stuff, for a year, and he was there. He met lots of new folk, and he was always busy. So, so busy. He'd be too tired to stay up and chat with me at night, when he'd come back to his dorm room. Or he'd fall asleep somewhere in the common room and I'd be staying up till late, waiting for him. It caused a lot of bickering. Or he'd want to go out with his friends from there, even though he sees them every day. More bickering. He hates Halloween but he wanted to see his friends instead of spending time with me that day, even though he just came back from a school trip. More bickering. I felt.. neglected. He is a very "reasonable" person and to him, feelings of missing me or negativity is just stuff he pushes aside. Hell, some people don't even know one of his cats had died. She just stopped existing in his mind. I went to this school to see it during the Xmas holidays in 2014. I welcomed the 2015 new year there, and we were so hopeful because 2015 was when we decided we'd finally move together. He'd be in Uni and I'd be with him, trying to get a job and learn the language, since I already did all my studies.

He became super depressed from leaving this school. Leaving the productivity, leaving his friends, leaving the atmosphere. I was bitter and hurt too from how difficult that year was and it.. just brought out the worst in us. But I grit my teeth because soon we'd be together. I did and said some shit and I regret it. He was so different when he returned. He was grumpy, not conversational. He'd snap or be snide or hurtful, and I tried my hardest to make him chatty or smile. I'd post silly things from tumblr, or videos, and soon our conversations just seemed like a link dump. I tried so hard to cheer him up. He just never did. He had to decide his study topic for Uni. He always wanted to be a teacher, but he thought about it during that school year and chose Middle Eastern studies because the Syria and Palestine conflicts appeal to him. But that also means he'd study abroad for a year. Where would that leave me? I don't know. I didn't know about this even though he claims he told me. Arguments. More bickering.

But things seemed alright. We were cheerful and we were making plans to move next month (August). I had 5,000 euro saved up, and all I needed was to book a ticket. We'd text sometimes if he wasn't near internet, and he was at a meeting somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no reception. It was cool, until we bickered because I posted a funny image and he was like "ugh that's so tumblr" and I said well no, it's not originally from there, and what does that mean? And we bickered more. He came back, and something felt.. wrong. My stomach was in knots. He said he didn't want to be with my anymore. He said he cares for me, he adores me, but he doesn't feel the same. He didn't have answers about why, or how. He doesn't know, he said.

Everything around me shattered, fell apart. I thought I had found the person that never leaves you. That rock that you support and supports you back. The one who loves you through thick and thin. Your best friend. And what of my future? I live in a shitty country with shitty prospects. What would I do now? My body spasmed, the attacks kept coming and coming. It hurt, it hurt all over. I kept crying and crying, until it felt painful to cry, as though my body was overworking to produce tears.

That year, 2015, my grandfather died and we had to sell the house and there went a huge part of my childhood, my identity, my life. The day after the breakup, my pet rabbit died out of the blue. I had given him to my best friend to take care of him since I'd be moving. We were talking on skype about the breakup and she paused, and said "uhm… I don't know how to say this, but your rabbit just died". Suddenly I'm stuck here, with no bank account, no job, no official documents or experience or anything, because I was supposed to move. The nation went on economical lockdown and capital controls froze everything. I couldn't open an account if I wanted to. Unemployment is through the roof and I'm past the "desirable" age, with zero experience to boot.

My hair, which was always bright ginger, frizzy and curly, and my defining trait to others, started falling out at an alarming rate. I had huge solid balls of hair after every shower. My curls kind of disappeared. I had a mental breakdown and shaved off the side, cut it off at the nape of the neck and I got it dyed blue. I thought well.. it doesn't matter, does it?

A month or two later he changed his profile pic on fb, the one we had together of us, when we first met. He went to uni and he also deleted our "personal" motto we had on skype. A month later in September-ish he said that he's seeing someone new. I was like damn isn't it early? and he was like "it's been two months, it's not exactly early" as though it was no big deal. He was all pragmatic like "yeah I was sad about it, but I'm over it now" and being the annoying kind of "I want you to be happy, you can find someone, it's not the end of the world" blah blah bullshit like he wasn't in the same relationship that I was. The girl he's dating, he met that year at that school. She's.. not me. She's taller, skinny, blonde, she's a volunteer at the Red Cross, she's athletic, she knows aaaaaaaaaall about the middle eastern conflicts and they do shit together about that, but she also likes game of thrones and harry potter and nerdy stuff. Like omgggg so perfect amirite?! Ugh, it hurts so much. It hurts more than I can describe.

And recently he told me he's moving in with her, too. Like wtf. That was meant to be me. Not her. He's all "I'm in a good place and I can't be blamed for being happy" as though someone is putting a gun to his head. Well he doesn't see it like he put a gun to my heart and pulled the fucking trigger. He doesn't see how every word he says is a dagger slicing right through me. He's on antidepressants and shit, but it's not like it's because our breakup affected him, I doubt he even thinks about it, he's too busy being fucking happy with his new perfect fucking girlfriend to care. He's become another person, he was never this way, so cold, so.. robotic.

What have I done to deserve this? People around me act like heeeey it's okaaaay you'll find someone else! it's not the end of the world!!! no you don't fucking get it, do you. I have never been this hurt or betrayed or neglected before. And I've been hurt a lot. It wasn't someone from a distance shooting a random arrow at me. It was from the person you never expect. The person you trust and know and love more than anything in the whole world. And he's all happy and dandy like shit never happened and I am stuck here with a shitty low paying full time job. My hair is a mess because I'm trying to grow it out and fix the colour. I don't care for my body and I starve myself a lot. But I'm such a weak fatty that I crack under the delirious hunger and eat. Or binge. I just want to die. It was the nail on the coffin. I've felt like this for years and years. Like "wow this book is cool but you know what's cooler? being dead". A passive desire to die. And now it's worse than ever. At least before I had goals and dreams and someone to care about.

People downplay the effects of heartbreak. Relationships are emotional consumerism. If one fails, it's alright, you'll find another one. They don't think about the impact that relationships can have on your life, your psyche, your brain, your existence. How weird and vulnerable and joyful and gut wrenching it can be. How sure, there's billions of people, but I can't meet all of them, and so I cherish the people I do come across. Why have the mentality "oh well I can find more like him" when that just means that everyone are just varying degrees of each other?

I'm gonna be 26 this year. And I actually had the audacity to think that things were improving for me. That finally I was going to heal, to start my journey to being a safer, more confident and secure person, when I had people that cared about me. My friends are either not in my city, or they are so busy working or studying or doing shit with their lives that I never see them. I just go to work, come back, sleep, spend time on computer. Rinse and repeat. I thought… I thought I was finally going to be happy. Well, that went south real fast. Two years seems like both a lot of time and a blip. And yet I was so sure of the fact that it'd grow into four, into five, into ten, into more.

I'm sorry to waste your time and space. I'm so sorry for everyone's time I waste. Talking about this. Or talking in general. There's so much better you could do with your time. Evidently. I'm so pathetic. I'm so weak. I can't even be a skinny proana because I'm fat and it doesn't show when my brain is foggy from hunger. I can't even show you symptoms of my suffering. Apart from the mangled, gory mess that's my inside.

I'm so sorry.

No. 91107

File: 1462827840810.png (126.96 KB, 325x300, tumblr_inline_nsbleel5Wl1qdo42…)

My friend borrowed one of my most expensive dresses for a night out and then had sex with her boyfriend for the first time while wearing it. I mean, I'm happy that they've taken the next step in their relationship and I guess I should have seen this coming but… Idk, I'm going to feel really awkward wearing this in front of them now since it's something that they both probably connect with their first time and it'll just feel really weird.
I can't explain it but it feels like my dress got … dirtied or something and I'm a bit pissed off about it. Now, every time I look at it I can't help but think about how my friend fucked a guy while wearing it and it's just eeeuuugughughughgu

No. 91110

>>91107
I would fucking kill a bitch if she did that

No. 91111

File: 1462829100275.jpg (31.5 KB, 604x604, 1459962899709.jpg)

>>91103
Goddamn man, I was going to make fun of you for how dramatic this was written, but fuck if it didn't bring some emotion to my cold, cynical heart.

All I can advise is to find the little things that make life bearable. A taste of your favorite food. A song that takes you somewhere else. Try not to fall into bad habits that are going to persist and hold you back later.

And if you need to gush to an internet stranger, we can exchange throwaway e-mails and you can vent it out.

You can make it.

>>91107
Fuck that cunt. Never lend her anything else ever again or give her shit for it every time she asks to borrow something. What she did was really shitty and disrespectful.

No. 91113

>>91111

I'm the same anon and bless, you made me laugh. I realise it was written dramatically, if you asked me about it in real life I couldn't stutter a word to you, but in text I rule. I can't even be emotionally open to my psychologist, and that's her job. Apparently I can vent my life to strangers on the internet, though.

Also I laugh at myself first and foremost and if there is anything that gives my cold, cynical heart comfort it's that in the grand scheme of things I don't matter, nothing matters, we're all just chaotic seconds in everlasting entropy. Because nihilism helps me get through the day. If I'm gonna die a lonely, miserable piece of shit then the least I can do is laugh about it.

And thank you anon for the offer! Even typing it out now helped, honestly. You kind of feel uncomfortable talking to your friends over and over about it. I feel like I annoy them. But sometimes keeping everything squashed down is overwhelming, and I need to vent about it. It just happened to be this board, I'm afraid.

No. 91116

I want so bad to go to the doc and ask him for xanax and ambien. I know I shouldn't because it'll probably end in a botched suicide attempt since this shit makes me all depressed.
I haven't touch anything for month but it's hard to resist right now

No. 91117

File: 1462830539652.gif (419.48 KB, 250x183, okay.gif)

>>91113
The anonymity of the internet makes it a lot easier to open up to people you don't know, as a lot of people can attest to. I'm glad I could give you a chuckle and hopefully you find more things to laugh about in the days to come.

No. 91121

>>91110
>>91111

Shit, you guys have no idea how relieved I am to hear that someone agrees with me. This might sounds strange, but it's my first time letting someone borrow my clothes so I wasn't really sure if it was normal to be upset over this or not.

Also,
>giver her shit for it every time she asks to borrow something

This sounds fun.
"Hey anon, can I borrow a pencil?"
"Yeah, as long as you don't fuck your boyfriend with it."

No. 91129

>>91033
That does help a bit, thanks.

One of the main things I noticed was the way Facebook behaves after someone dies, posting pictures of them together and making memorial videos and posting on his wall about how they'd miss him and everything, and while I understand the sentiment, I just don't really get the actions. Like, posting something on his wall as if you're talking to him has the same effect as whispering into his gravestone, since he's, y'know, dead, the only difference is that everyone else can see it too. Maybe they get some sense of community from publicly mourning like that but it just goes against my sensibilities to post something like that on FB. I feel like I've been made hyper-aware that post death, everything that's done isn't for the deceased but for the people that knew him.
But despite how I'm coming across I don't feel like I'm above anyone for realising these things, I feel maladapted as a person as though I'm missing something that makes me human.

No. 91138

>>91103

I don't have a whole lot to say in response to this because your situation sounds fucking awful, but I did want to commend you on how well written it was.
Usually I don't have time at all for these kind of posts, but it's so articulate and has a lot of emotional depth, so much so that I'm actually impressed.

Any chances of you returning to education and taking a different path though?

No. 91144

>>91103
Anon… Are you from Ireland by any chance? If so, why not move back? You'll have better chances back home where you speak the language and all.

No. 91146

>>91103
Jesus. That just sucks ass anon. I mean, to find so much happiness and meaning in someone (or something) and have it all crash down is pretty fucking rough and it's going to be painful recovering from a wound that big.

Moving on is going to be hard, but it's not impossible. Do you have anything else you like? How about pursuing something else, or something new? Anything to distract you from him?

I'm so sorry, I wish I could help. I really do. Shit sucks, stay strong anon.

No. 91147

>>91103
Jesus. That just sucks ass anon. I mean, to find so much happiness and meaning in someone (or something) and have it all crash down is pretty fucking rough and it's going to be painful recovering from a wound that big.

Moving on is going to be hard, but it's not impossible. Do you have anything else you like? How about pursuing something else, or something new? Anything to distract you from him?

I'm so sorry, I wish I could help. I really do. Shit sucks, stay strong anon.

No. 91157

Ok first of all, do you guys notice how lately, music video’s have a VERY DARK AND SATANIC vibe to them?? For instance a few years ago, pop music video’s were fun, sexy, cute etc. Sorta like when Britney Spears was at the peak of her career and had fresh pop music video’s like “Stronger” or “I’m a Slave For You” “Don’t Let Me Be the Last to Know” etc. You get my point. Compare music video’s from back then until just now. VERY RECENTLY in the past few years. ESPECIALLY once Lady GaGa stepped on the scene, all the music video’s has turned very DARK & SATANIC! I am not joking. Even Beyonce is now in on it. I don’t want to tell you all of what I know, RIGHT NOW, because “THEY” are watching. As a matter of fact, I had a HUGE battle with “THE OTHERS” for a long time and I must admit, they are powerful. But there needs to be someone, anyone, to stand up against them and for our world to be restored back into peace and harmony once again.

No. 91166

>>91157
Uh, illuminati bait?

No. 91205

>>91157
>our world
>peace and harmony
It's like you've never read a history book once in your entire life, anon.

No. 91218

>>91157
Girl there have always been wars read history literally nothing changed

No. 91430

>>91138

I'm the anon, and thank you so much. I know this is just a random vent board and I was getting overwhelmed and decided to pour my heart into here, but everyone's reaction touched me. A lot of my friends mean well but they get into huge inspirational speeches that I don't need. I just need a shoulder to cry on, or a hug.

I've always been better at articulating myself through text, for as long as I can remember. And that vent was as raw as it can get, in that moment.

Also as far as my education goes, I've been looking into getting into traditional art or concept/digital art in schools. To get into the real nitty gritty of drawing, which I lack. But it's hella expensive. Otherwise I just find any seminar I can afford and enjoy, and try to get a little bit of knowledge here, a bit of info there, etc.

>>91144

Hey anon, no I live in Greece, actually. But my mother and my mother's side are from Scotland. Everyone says I should just move there but after that… fiasco, I don't feel emotionally ready to try moving somewhere again, much less by myself.

>>91146

Thanks anon hugs Yeah, it happened all in one night. One day he was fine and we were texting like nothing happened, next thing.. boom, everything collapsed. It has been harsh and confusing and painful, to say the least. And the few times we do talk on facebook, it's difficult for me to not explode or be bitter about it, which only ruins the relationship and makes it seem as though splitting up was the "right" choice, do you know what I mean? It's like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I block him and never talk, then I feel like I lose him. If I try the "stay friends" route he so badly wants, I can't be a good post-relationship friend and I become bitchy, which soils the mood. So again, I lose.

Videogames help a lot. I barely see my friends anyway so it's not like I'm always going out. So I spend my money on vidya. I used half the money I'd saved up and built a bomb desktop computer to play games on. I'm trying to get back into drawing. I have an old as balls sewing machine and I wanna finally learn to sew and knit and crochet.

I'm trying my hardest to get into the hobbies I enjoy. But it's hard when days, weeks and months pass and I realise a lot of my time gets wasted by me being zoned out. My 3ds has been charging for weeks now. I keep meaning to play it. I never do. I'm too tired from work. A full time, 8 hour job and I get 495 euros per month. That's okay since I live with my family but I can't live alone off that. I get up at 6, to be there for 8, finish at 4 and arrive home at 5. I'm a zombie in all regards of the word cue the cranberries



Honestly I'm glad I spoke out here. Hearing voices from random places in the world just saying "hey man, I'm sorry" is so helpful. It's a lot better than what I've heard here, at least.

No. 91441

>>91430
>Videogames help a lot. I barely see my friends anyway so it's not like I'm always going out. So I spend my money on vidya. I used half the money I'd saved up and built a bomb desktop computer to play games on. I'm trying to get back into drawing. I have an old as balls sewing machine and I wanna finally learn to sew and knit and crochet.

Holy fuck, anon, are you me? I'm also building my own pc, motherboard just came today, I've been horrendously neglectful about drawing (it's getting me down) and I have a new sewing machine I'm trying to learn to use.

Idk if I'm not lonely or I simply block it out because of more important shit in ny life. Mostly I work and then come back, nap or complain on the internet.

No. 91443

>>91441

heh, you must be me, because I'm the same! I come back from work, nap for an hour or two, then waste my life on the internet. Then I complain because I wasted it, but when I could be doing something creative, I'm too insecure, which pisses me off, which discourages me from drawing, which stresses me out, etc. It's a vicious cycle.

I hope your pc goes well! ^^ Btw if you just want a soul to have a fellow complaint with, I can create a random email just to chat with :) I understand how precious it is to find people who understand your struggles and don't try to force inspirational quotes down your throat. Sometimes you don't need inspirational quotes. Sometimes you just need someone to validate your struggle.

No. 91444

>>91443
Thanks, and I might ask for that email sometime. Anything to stop the pain train, because I want off this ride T_T

No. 91445

>>91443
>Then I complain because I wasted it, but when I could be doing something creative, I'm too insecure, which pisses me off, which discourages me from drawing, which stresses me out, etc. It's a vicious cycle.
I think every artist had struggled with that, especially with the too insecure and then being discouraged right after part. How about you just go "fuck it, I'm gonna draw" and then draw whatever the hell you want. If you don't like it throw it away and then do it again. Remember that each time you throw away something you're improving.

>I understand how precious it is to find people who understand your struggles and don't try to force inspirational quotes down your throat. Sometimes you don't need inspirational quotes. Sometimes you just need someone to validate your struggle.

I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate inspirational quotes. As if they actually give any fucking light. Hell, they either just make me feel worse or just downright piss me off. I'm willing to bet that people who make and share those shit are people who are legitimately happy. Just getting to talk to someone is so much better.

>>91444
Everyone wants off this ride, anon. Everyone. ;-;

No. 91446

>>91445
Yeah, I just don't get inspirational quotes, the same thing doesn't inspire everyone and I think you'd need some personal context to actually get the quote. Like, "life is like a box of chocolates", fuck, does that it has an expiry date and there's stupid parts with nuts in it? Because lol have I met a few bad nuts in my life.

No. 91447

>>91445

Yeah, honestly those people are annoying as fuck. "Happiness is just a choice!" "You'd be so much happier if you did [whatever fucking thing they recommend]" "You just need to be positive!"

No, no and no. Shut the fuck up. If it worked for you, great. If you have the psychological range of a teaspoon and you have never felt how paralysing it is to be fighting against your own brain, then you can't give advice to anyone.

They think you're just in a bad mood. No, it's not that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and I'm grumpy. My own brain is sabotaging me.

I highly recommend Andrew Solomon's TED Talk "Depression, the Secret we Share". It's on Youtube. The guy is amazing. I watch it when I feel down because it's the speech equivalent of someone giving you a hug and saying "I know how this feels" and genuinely meaning it.


I think I'm gonna create that email, dammit. Anyone can send to me and just have a vent. I think we need it.

No. 91448

>>91447
Go ahead, maybe put a space in the email address when you post it to avoid getting it scraped by bots or someshit.

No. 91449

>>91448
>>91444

I made a random email that doesn't attach to other accounts cause fuck that, honestly. It's "cell block mango @ mail.com" without spaces. Due to time zones don't worry if I take a while to reply, but I will reply!

No. 91450

>>91449
Thanks. Same here, I'm from the UK, gonna go sleep now, tired as shit. Goodnight, farmers.

No. 91490

>Gets accepted and full ride scholarship to art skoolz

>Has too quit job, tells managers and friend coworkers


>Will miss everyone for the short while I waz there but I ain't working retail forever


>tells crush the news


>crush at work finally starts asking about if I have bf and shit


>screaming on the inside because now he goes for it when I'm leaving


>crying on the inside because I'm incredibly awkward and I suck at flirting back when he starts flirting


>Last day I see him is Thursday


This is all so fucking bitter sweet, should I just ask for his number in a clever way and just say he's cute since I'll be miles away when I do?

No. 91498

>>91490
>art school

Oh anon…

No. 91502

Goddammit I hate read receipts so so much. Is there any way to turn off being able to view them?

No. 91506

I hate, hate, hate the vast majority of social media and refuse to participate.

If we are really friends, why should I have to find out about your relationship/marriage/vacation/family crisis through my FB feed? You should be calling, texting, emailing, sending a carrier pigeon, whatever it takes to reach me directly.

Hand me my cane, I'm going to yell at the kids to get off my lawn.

No. 91512

>>91506
Me too anon, I'm not old enough to be this grouchy about it either. I hate how much of a necessity Facebook has become. I keep intending to delete it, but every event is planned through it now, and lot of updates/info related to uni/work get posted there too.

No. 91514

>>91498

Yes…to CalArts…………

No. 91515

>>91512
Yeah, I have to admit it's FOMO that's kept me from just deleting my Facebook. :|

I don't have a problem communicating one-on-one using the Facebook messaging system, but like you I hate that we're basically just broadcasting ourselves everywhere. Maybe I've spent too long on the wrong parts of the Internet, but the idea of leaving that much of an online trail under your real name is terrifying.

No. 91518

>>91515
FOMO is the absolute worst. I actually did delete my FB for a while, and reactivated it when I had people tell me 'oh I didn't invite you because you don't have FB,' which is fair enough, but still hurts. You couldn't have texted me, maybe?

>but the idea of leaving that much of an online trail under your real name is terrifying.

Kids these days are so lax with giving out their information, even shit like their home addresses to get gifts. Doxing is so easy now because they give out their information freely enough that if you have a handle or two, you can find out all this info, like with the shoplifting tumblrs. I still don't put my real name/location on my profiles, and use different handles on every website out of paranoia.

No. 91519

>>91518
>You couldn't have texted me, maybe?

omg right? I feel like Facebook has made people more slap-and-dash with their relationships.

I'm not even talking about the dumb kids who link their porn blog to their Instagram (or the lifters who…..post all of their identifying info when they write about their crimes?!) - though that is also terrifying. I'm just talking about commenting on news articles under your real name, Yelp reviews, etc. - it's just a permanent digital trail I'd rather not leave. I use a different handle on every website, as well, and you bet I don't cross link anything.

No. 91550

>>91514
Good luck. CalArts used to be great now it just…sigh. Art School is not worth it. So much debt, four years and nothing to show for it aside from me working incredibly hard on my own.

I regret art school so much.

No. 91554

>>90942
>i'd be happy to start getting some callbacks, is all.
Do you follow up a few days after filling out an application?

No. 91555

>>91002
You're not even 30 yet, no big deal if you ask me

No. 91558

>>91103
Never keep in touch with someone after a breakup unless it's a truly mutual one. Even then, keep contact low.
I highly recommend deleting his phone number, unfriending him, etc. It's not pleasant but better than torturing yourself by watching his life go on through the internet.

No. 91559

I think I've started to just realize that I'm more like a person you say Hi to like at work than a actual friend to people I'd consider my friends.

Like I tried to not let it bother me and tried against it for a while, inviting friends out to places, giving days in advance, offering different ideas even simple ones like seeing a film and it was all no's.

Then I'd see something in like facebook where everyone headed out and had fun together, which is lame to say but hurts.

As for now I've just decided to deactivate facebook and remove numbers from my rather already empty contact list and I'll wait and see how long it will be until they try to contact me.

So now I'm just stuck in a cycle of, work, home, food, change clothes, gym, home, sleep.

I'd also rather be wary of self diagnosing but I'm fairly sure I have some form of depression along with anxiety.

>I'l feel low on energy, rather just spend the day in bed awake.

>things that made me happy and things that made me really excited all just feel on the same level, like a 2/10
>sorta feel like I'm going through the motion just as a robot
>not sure on time wise but every so often I'll get bursts of energy and to a ton of things, mostly just tidying and work and honestly feel better until the sort of greyish fog drops down again.

Like I'm honestly not even happy and I'd barely consider this living, just existing.

Thank goodness for the internet because I've never shared this stuff with anyone because I'd rather not burden anyone.

tldr: no friends, no life, depression, at least I have anime.

No. 91563

>>91559
I've been there.
I still don't understand why my "friends" did exactly the same thing. Invite everyone but me out, ignore all of my invites, etc. We used to be close.
Anyway, the way I got over it was making new friends, although it can be extremely difficult to do. Took me a long time.
If you can, I highly recommend moving. Best thing I ever did. The people I've met here (in another country) have been the friendliest people I've ever known. Unfortunately I have to move home soon and I'm not looking forward to it.
You probably want to keep facebook though because it can greatly help with getting closer to people you meet.
I really hope I don't end up back where I was, because I've known the grind all too well. It's brutal.

Sorry this is like half advice and half blog.

No. 91564

>>91559
Oh and in addition to my last post.
Don't bother trying to get the attention of your "friends". They aren't worth your time if they're treating you like an acquaintance.
Make new friends, and when they come crawling back to see how much fun you're having, give them the finger.

No. 91571

>>91563
I'll keep this in mind, Just I'm fairly shy and quiet when meeting new people, I open up and become chatty when I'm comfortable but its not great for first impression sake.

I have been planning on moving but need to take care of a few things and build up some more of my savings.

Yeah I only really ever used it for chatting which I found handy, just sucks seeing postings for missed fun and no invites.

It's cool its nice to just get some response on what to do, I try not to seem so whiny but it helps a ton to vent.

>>91564
I don't know if I could ever do this tbh, I don't see myself as being that sort of person and would rather not leave anyone out or alone.

gotta work on my self sacrificial complex a bit but it just seems selfish looking after yourself at times.

No. 91572

I don't want to sound like a robot but fuck, I'm so lonely I would literally pay someone to hug me - not sexually or romantically, I just want to feel the touch of another person.

No. 91585

>>91572

Same, I just add random people on kik to have small talk.

No. 91619

i was shaving and dropped the razor so i went to catch it like a dumb ass and it sliced half my nail off down to the cuticle. now i have this stinging, half bloody finger :(

No. 91628

My husband and I decided to divorce at the end of January. While it was horrible, we both felt it was the right decision and it was fairly amicable.

A week ago I discovered he'd been seeing another girl since September last year. When I confronted him he flat-out denied it, until I told him I'd read her Twitter which had all the gory details going back months (including the fact she knew he was married, what a fucking gross bitch). He started claiming that I must be mistaken, it must be someone else, he doesn't even know this girl! Uh no, she mentioned you by name, dumbass. Once he realised he'd been rumbled he changed tack, saying it's my fault because I'd been distant blah blah blah. Look, I'll freely admit that the relationship wasn't perfect towards the end but how about breaking up with me before fucking another girl? You know, like an adult? He also calls me a stalker for reading the girl's tweets, even though it's public (when will people learn?) and a mutual friend had sent me the link. Overall he refuses to take any responsibility for his actions whatsoever and takes it out on me instead.

The other issue is he's now living in his home country, on the other side of the world, where we originally got married. At the end of the argument he said that he would sort out the divorce papers and send them ASAP. A few days later he pops up again, saying he'd been in touch with the courthouse and apparently there's two options: we send papers back and forth, which could take 'up to 18 months', or I fly over to his country for 'a couple of weeks, maybe a month'. He's really laying it on thick, apologising for everything and saying that I should definitely go for the quicker option because I'm 'charming and pretty' and deserve a 'better' man. Hmmm, that's rather different from the ranting, blame-anyone-but-himself moron of a few days ago.

There's no way I can suddenly take a month off work to sit around in a country where I barely know anyone. Also I really don't care if I'm technically married for a while, it makes absolutely zero difference. So fuck that. I keep telling him no and he keeps insisting it's the better option.

Now guess why he'd be so keen to get divorced quickly? He's already engaged to the new girl. They've been together for less than 8 months.

When he finally realises I'm definitely not wasting a month of my life he reverts back to the old 'you're horrible and you made me cheat!!!' bullshit. Utterly transparent.

She was already complaining about him on Twitter (including that he's 'emotionally manipulative' - yep, sounds familiar) so chances are they'll break up in less than 18 months anyway.

I didn't know where to include this story but here's one of the things that pissed me off the most. His sister died suddenly in December. As in, admitted to hospital and dead two days later sudden. I couldn't get there (his home country) in time. I felt fucking awful. His family had always been so lovely to me. At the time he was quite horrible about the fact I couldn't make it over there, I (stupidly) put his words down to grief. Turns out he had plenty of comfort anyway - he took the new girl to the hospital. He took that fucking drama to his sister's deathbed and then turned around and yelled at me for 'letting his family down'. When I brought this up to him, he claimed I didn't care about his sister. Fuck you, you piece of shit. I was devastated (and still am). Trying to use his sister's death against me is truly the lowest of the low.

Tl;dr: can't believe I wasted so long on a fucking spineless loser and feel stupid for not seeing it earlier.

No. 91636

>>91628
Don't beat yourself up too much anon. Hindsight is always like that. But good for you for not playing into his hands with having you fly over to his country for a month. Who knows what bullshit would've happened while you were there? Fuck that guy. Only deal with him when you have to and ignore him the rest of the time. It'll probably get to him more than if you argued with him.

No. 91638

>>91628
What's his home country?

No. 91639

>>91638
>on the other side of the world

I bet it's a weeb/asiaphile who bought into the Nice Asian Guy(tm) meme.

No. 91642

File: 1463009380292.jpeg (268.41 KB, 750x1222, image.jpeg)


No. 91653

I really, really don't want to be traditionally masculine. Not in a trans way, I'm just naturally effeminate and sorta unassertive and it's causing me a lot of stress. I'm not super david bowie-feminine looking (although people usually think I'm much younger than I am, clean shaven/long hair/skinny/careful with my skin/etc) and I'm afraid people keep expecting someone more masculine when they get into a relationship with me. I really don't feel comfortable being the typical bf and taking the lead on most things, or always doing the pursuing and stuff like that. I'm not a doormat or anything but I don't have any urge to compete with other men and be in a protector role. I can pretend to be like other men for a while but it feels so hollow, and people seem to lose interest when the facade falls. I am straight and can't bring myself to be attracted to other men, and I'm really scared I can't be in a normal relationship with someone without being viewed as weak and "beta". I wish I was either gay or good-looking enough so people could overlook this.

sorry if this isn't the right place for this, I don't know where else I can put this

No. 91657

>>91653
Chin up anon, I'm sure there are women out there who would be into more of an effeminate guy. Hell, there's an older thread in /g/ about submissive guys so I know there are women out there who would be attracted to that. It may be more of a kink though. But I think making yourself out to be something you're not when you first try to date a girl gives her false expectations. If you're more yourself you'll probably have better luck finding a girl who will want to stick around.

No. 91681

>>91657
Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I am very afraid of just being a kink to someone. When I've tried articulating this before it seems like people take me to be talking about BDSM or dom/sub stuff, just some fetish thing.

I just keep getting caught in this cycle where someone takes the initiative and shows interest in me, and I try to reciprocate and end up being more assertive than them to keep their interest, which leads them to believe that that comes naturally to me. When the alternative would just be me being passive and them getting bored and moving on.

I really just want to worry about being a good partner and not about all this gender role stuff.

No. 91682

>>91653
Hey anon, you sound QT, esp since you take care of your face and shit. Me and my bf have the dynamic you're looking for (he doesn't make himself pretty though, which is a bummer), so it's not like you're looking for something impossible. I know it's hard, but don't beat yourself up about not being a "normal" guy. Who you are sounds lovely, and I'm sure there's a girl out there who would love to be with you. And not the fake you, the real you.

No. 91693

>>91682
This really means a lot to me anon, thank you. I've never met anyone in this kind of relationship, even finding stuff about it online is sorta difficult.

I'm sure your bf is very lucky to have you, hope everything works out for you guys!

No. 91702

>>91693
No problem anon! I guess it's the people I attract, but I've seen the "aggressive woman/passive guy" dynamic irl a lot. Honestly, any scene outside of mainstream culture, you'll find people who are more comfortable with this type of relationship. Best of luck, and thanks!

No. 91719

>>88574
Well youre right man, it is true. But why do you suppose they are that way? I would blame a lot of bad parenting and lack of positive or effective male figures in their life.

No. 91720

I missed my final exam because I had the wrong room number today. I went around asking everywhere to find out where the professor was, she didn't answer my email, didn't answer academic support when they called her, and I just found out about a half hour ago that instead of 302 where I was looking. it was 303.

I'm so mad that no one bothered to ask if I had the right room number, and when academic support called and asked if anyone had seen her, they said no. I still haven't heard back from this professor and I'm gonna be sick :/

No. 91723

>>91719
That was very obviously b8, anon

No. 91729

>>91702

Girls like you are literally rarer than unicorns.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 91749

>>91514
Am I supposed to applaud you now, tell you to go full steam ahead? CalArts doesn't have the pull it used to, and it churns out same-facey, Disney approved art. Art school is a terrible 'investment', even for the connections. You'd be better off individually developing your craft and portfolio instead of trying to impress batty art professors and their inane criteria.

Good luck, regardless.

No. 91760

File: 1463049993507.gif (1.85 MB, 540x293, cryingjuice.gif)

I hate how obsessive I get over internet fame, it's stupid and embarrassing but it's some kind of weird desire I have to be known for making cool things. I get so jealous of artists who not only have a large fanbase, lots of other art friends, and are well-known but also have a consistent and easily recognizable artsyle.
I honestly just want to be a good artist, have a cool non-copycat artstyle, and not want to giveup and kill myself everytime I try to draw something.

No. 91761

>>91760
The easiest way to get fans is pander like hell. Draw fanart of popular characters/ships in glaring pastel colours, maybe throw in some SJW in there. Just pander to the FotM, and you'll get some fans eventually.

No. 91832

>>91760
>I hate how obsessive I get over internet fame, it's stupid and embarrassing but it's some kind of weird desire I have to be known for making cool things. I get so jealous of artists who not only have a large fanbase, lots of other art friends, and are well-known but also have a consistent and easily recognizable artsyle.
Anon, are you me?? I feel you in everything you say. I wish I had a fanbase who loves and supports me, who cheers for me, is excited for my newest work. I wish I had more art friends, I don't really know any other artists at all, and it fucking sucks; I feel so alone with my hobby. The other artists I know are either about to stop doing art, or have a complete different style. None of them really gets engaged or loves my style, because we are so different in style and everything else. I wish I could have a nice, consistent art style.
Everytime I get a note on tumblr or a like on FB or IG my heart is racing and it makes me so proud that I actually check multiple times a day, just to see if mayyybe someone out there likes my art, at least some strangers on the internet. Sometimes I stumble upon artists who aren't as good as me and still are much more famous than me, have more likes etc and I drown in jealousy and self hate.
I hate how obsessive I get over internet fame, it's stupid and embarrassing but it's some kind of weird desire I have to be known for making cool things. I get so jealous of artists who not only have a large fanbase, lots of other art friends, and are well-known but also have a consistent and easily recognizable artsyle.

>I honestly just want to be a good artist, have a cool non-copycat artstyle, and not want to giveup and kill myself everytime I try to draw something.

Same here.

I guess in the end, all we can really do is work, work work and practice, practice, practice, and maybe one day people will appreciate it. It was nice to get this out of the system and meet a fellow frustrated artist though, usually I ban these thoughts from my mind but sometimes I can't help myself.

>>91761
You are right, but it still sucks. My style and taste is far from what is popular on tumblr, and even if I tried I wouldn't even be great at pandering. And after all I want people to like my work, not my forced awkward pandering bullshit that I dislike myself. I do art for my own entertainment.

No. 91849

>>91760

I feel you anon, I just hate how much I care about it… I just get convinced that the lack of fans means I suck at art. It's enough to get me depressed and stop drawing altogether. I'm actually in this "stage" now lol I haven't drawn seriously since last year. I also cut off everything art-related like all my artist friends and my dA/tumblr accounts.
But well… I know that in a few years I'll feel disappointed in myself that I didn't try, and THAT'S when I'll really feel like killing myself. Because if I never try, I'll never improve and get the "popular artist dream" I've always wanted. So really, as artists, that's the best thing we can do I guess.

No. 91852

ignore this. I feel the need to type this out regardless.

I'm tired of having very conservative/racist parents. I have polar opposite views of them and if I mention any sort of comment in passing (examples include jokingly saying "I'm glad we're white" when Trump basically winning the GOP nom, the trans bathroom issues [me saying "if they're actively transitioning or applying to get hormone replace therapy then I don't care]) ends up in a lecture about how I/my generation knows nothing of the world and that perverts will take advantage of this, saying they're transgender, and take upskirt photos of me.
I just… I feel like Tumblr has ruined in thinking that people are at least neutral and don't have conservative views.

No. 91860

>>91852
I kind of know how you feel. My mom is somewhat liberal but I can't visit home for one day without hearing the n word at least fifty times and how we should send them all back to Africa. And she doesn't know that I usually date black guys kek.

No. 91890

>>91860
>usually date black guys

Yuck

No. 91891

>>91860
>>91852
And they told me I was just lying when I said this board is suffering from trailer trash tumblrinas. You're both really disgusting niggers.

No. 92068

>>91891
Calm down pol

No. 92257

I swear my stupid pinhead friend hit me up the other day just to casually brag about her new house.
She was like "oh we should do something tomorrow, I have the day off!" Then proceeds to tell me about her and her bf moving house next week, shows me the listing, and then never mentions hanging out again.
It probably irritates me more than it should, but this was the first time we've talked in months.

No. 92376

What do you all think of this?

No. 92380

>>92376
"Women, please teach your daughters not to file false rape allegations."
Also notice how positive he still is, he blogs less about his life than we do here. I hate humanity.

No. 92443

File: 1463319165296.jpg (32.95 KB, 514x332, 1427911566386.jpg)

I pooped myself today.

Ive been feeling sick and ive been having diarrhea the whole day today.
Well, I wanted to fart and when I proceeded to do it. a bit of liquid poo came out

fuck. its not the first time either
oh well, at least my bf had a laugh

No. 92495

>>92257
To be fair, if I bought a house I'd probably brag all about it too.
But I'd also invite my friends over.

No. 92500

Today, I binged. It always happens on weekends. And even though I have an ED, I couldn't bring myself to purge (which my mother doesn't seem to mind, she actually told me to do it at the fucking sink)
So yeah. I feel awful about it, but I won't purge because if I do, tomorrow I won't have enough motivation to fast
>inb4 lose weight the healthy way
yeah, no, I like my ED, my life doesn't revolve around it, but it's the only good thing I have apart from my good grades. My ED made me prettier than I've ever been, and I actually feel a tiny bit confident about myself. So yeah.

No. 92524

>>92443
You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.

No. 92526

>>92500
well, at least you own it. hopefully you'll own your eventual GERD too.

No. 92546

Forgive me if I sound incoherent, I'm too pissed right now.

I fucking had it with my friend. I was considering cutting ties with her a long time ago, but I didn't since her mother said that I was her only friend. The thing is, she lies a lot, and she's fucking good at playing victim, turning her behavior problem when she's being called out into 'look at me, everyone is so mean to me, I deserve to be coddled!!'. The last straw was yesterday, she's lying about being a rape and child abuse survivor. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but if she's indeed a sexual abuse survivor, won't she be hesitated to reveal that she is one, since it can trigger bad memories? The thing is, she blurted it out of nowhere, and I never see any signs of her being abused and stuff. Her family is also a bunch of good people with good rep in the community. I've seen her interacting with her family, and they seem to love her so much, maybe that's why she's craving so much attention. And I know she fucking loves the attention other people gave her right now, being a 'child sexual abuse survivor'. It disgusts me how she accessorize it for her own selfish reasons where all of the real child sexual abuse survivors are still needing therapy to cope with it.

But, fuck it, I don't care anymore, I'll tell her mother I can't keep befriending someone who thinks like that. I don't care if she begs me to stay friends with her, there's a reason why nobody wants to be her friend. She's the root of her problem, she can't blame anyone but herself. She have to accept that and grow up.

No. 92572

>>92546
How old is she? Sounds like a toxic cunt, cut her off before she starts drama with you

No. 92649

I'm so frustrated at my friend right now. She is obsessed with getting e-famous. She seems to think validation from people she doesn't know on the internet will cure her low self esteem instead of looking for validation within herself. All they're going to do is turn on her, spread hate, and rip on her in the end because one look down her history can give them plenty of fodder, and it will upset her very deeply. She keeps going on about "yeah people are totally going to hate me when I'm e-famous" but if I know one thing about her it's that she would not handle it well at all because she hasn't got the confidence to take it. It's gotten to where all she wants to do is brag about all her efamous friends and all the things she's doing to get popular. I can't understand how someone would want internet fame. She's just going to end up places like here where people are going to rip into things she's insecure about and then she'll break down because they're going to strike a nerve. It'll all be on me to pick up the pieces again.

It's just been bothering me lately and I needed to get it off my chest. I wish she would stop doing this because it's not good for her at all. I'm genuinely worried about her because I know this won't end well. Why does she search so hard for validation instead of working on her own self confidence?

No. 92653

File: 1463428478830.jpg (244.01 KB, 1296x972, 1463411604017.jpg)

My suicidal urges getting really strong lately, meds and therapy not cutting it. I have no idea what to do, I don't want to die but my brain is just all kinds of fucked up and wants me to off myself.

No. 92660

>>92653
euthanasia is the answer fam!

No. 92663

>>92653
Remember that a botched attempt, which is generally likely, makes life even worse than it is now. And when your urges get really bad just tell yourself you're postponing acting on them, and keep doing that. It's a good thing that you know you don't want to die though, that knowledge should keep you safe even despite these horrible feelings you're going through. Try to remind yourself of the reasons why you don't want to die, and give yourself small things to look forward to. Sometimes it can just be something like eating a special meal or laying down in bed and feeling cozy. Sorry I know none of this truly solves anything but the best we can really do is get by in life

No. 92665

I literally trust no one when it comes to things like money, and I get so agitated when I have to lend it to others or work under the promise of being "paid back later". It's really bad.
I got angry today because my mom asked me to pay money meant for my personal shopping for the internet, saying she "ran out". It was like $87 and I was on the verge of snapping and just screaming at her, accusing her of wasting all her money on her boyfriend or church or something, even though I have absolutely no concrete proof of that. I held myself back because I knew it was wrong, but I said something like "Try to separate it from whatever you have left, so you know that it's my money, meant for the internet." in a very nasty tone.
I feel like I'm going to explode and say something I'll really regret one of these days. I want to stop being so angry, because it's not like I've ever even actually been cheated before, but somehow the very idea just makes my blood boil.
When I depended completely on my parents to provide for me, I used to say shit like "Money doesn't matter! I don't care about it!". How far I've come lmao. I'm so disappointed in myself.

No. 92677

>>92653
I'm so sorry, anon.

Please talk to your doctor about those urges. They might switch your meds, or get you into more specific therapy.

No. 92686

I hate being an adult. I've been into BMX and skateboarding forever and I've always had the highest quality stuff because I got tons of birthday money and holiday presents but now that I'm grown up and live on my own, I don't have the money for any of it. Not that I would have time for either anyways, you know - with working all the time to make just enough money to eat and pay bills. Plus, it sucks seeing all these young kids into BMX and skating and feeling like I'm too old to like either.

No. 92690

>>92686
More so in big cities but you get grown adults into all that stuff, I definitely know a few skaters in their thirties. It's really hard to meet them but I promise they exist.
If you really love your hobby you can find a way to save up a little for it even if it's just a new tire, but don't let yourself feel anything except awesome for being a seasoned person on an old board or bike. High impact sports are really good for reducing osteoporosis in adulthood, too.

No. 92704

the legalization of the LGBT was targeted at seducing women for corrupt politicians and catering to womanizers.

homosexuality never means love, just as heterosexuality never does. If you advocate heterosexuality to psycho's, womanizers, criminals, perverts etc you only get negative results.

advocating homosexuality is still a criminal offense even f you can be "married."

God's rainbow is a symbol for all the wonderful things in life, None of which involve marrying whomever you want or eating whatever you want, such as hormone saturated animal blood which an atheist has never drained from the meat they sold you.

You cannot be religious and homosexual. it is blasphemous to even suggest.

No. 92705

>>92704

Anon I still hold true that if God didn't want men fucking each other up the ass he wouldn't have put their G-spot up there.

No. 92721

>>92705
>Anon I still hold true that if God didn't want men fucking each other up the ass he wouldn't have put their G-spot up there.
Lol, best retort ever

No. 92742

>>92705
No kidding! God made the prostate exactly a dick's length away. I wonder how the homophobes explain that. Another one of the Devil's temptations?

No. 92746

>>92546
She sounds terrible to deal with but there's a chance she's telling the truth and tbh her other annoying habits sound like they could be a symptom of that. You're not obligated to hang out with her because of it or anything, but I know people who were raped and are comfortable talking about it even if it's not a pleasant memory, it varies from person to person.

No. 92747

>>92663

I just can't find anything to look forward to, I liked someone before and kinda found something to wake up in the morning but it was unrequited so I have nothing again.

>>92677

I did, she just increased my dosage and didn't do anything. I'm gonna try another doctor soon.

No. 92789

>>92572
She's almost 20 now. I planned to cut the ties, hopefully she doesn't blow up and drag me into her mess.

>>92746
I agree, it varies from person to person. And to be honest, I would love to believe her or at least giving her the benefit of the doubt, but aside from her blurting that she's a child sexual abuse survivor out of nowhere, her rape stories just doesn't add up, almost like stories that hurtc0re/soren kid in /snow/ thread writes, only milder. What ticked me off the most, two actual child sexual abuse survivors were noticing something strange in her stories, like I did. They pointed it out in a very polite manner. She got silent and suddenly got really mad and screaming something along,"You don't get to judge me, I have it worse than you two! You meanie people!" then stormed off crying. That alone, along with her various lies in the past, convince me that she's indeed lying. Also, personally, I think it's really disrespectful of her to say that to the actual child abuse survivor. Now she keeps throwing "I was raped" anywhere in every conversation. I just…am done with her. I just hope she would grow up.

No. 92819

i can't believe i'm still friends with my ldr ex who left me 17months ago after indirectly posting about being mutually in love with an irl friend, and who now takes a month each time to acknowledge my replies but ends every message with 'missed you XXXXXXX..', and who i agreed to go and follow our favourite band around on tour with for a week alone even though it'll seriously disrupt my education and i am so full of resent. i hate myself. i can believe it all actually because my self esteem is so obviously fucked

No. 92951

Today I had a massive falling out with my mother. I have been feeling massively resentful towards her lately as I have been reflecting a lot on my upbringing and this all came out during the argument.
Some background information- she got pregnant with me at 16 and had to leave school to take care of me. She has never really prioritised mine or my sisters wellbeing (she has been a high functioning heroin addict my whole life and has always put her boyfriends before me and my sister) and I've always felt like she resents me the most since I was born first and she had to give up her youth and future to take care of me. About 14 years ago, she went to a festival where she met my ex step dad, and they proceeded to get married after knowing each other for a few months. This man was the most psychotic, narcissistic son of a bitch I've ever met. My sister and I were grounded pretty much the entirety of our adolescent years because of things like being 1 minute late past curfew, and would constantly belt/whip us for things like not being asleep by the time he decided was appropriate (to clarify, not a bedtime so much as him saying "you need to be in deep slumber within the next 10 minutes or you will be punished"). As I got older, he became an alcoholic and started sexually abusing me. It got to the point that I felt like I needed to move out of home at 16, and when I couldn't, they decided to punish me by making me pay for all my school fees and books, as well as public transport to get to school, in my final year of schooling. Obviously, being 16, I wasn't working more than 10 hours a week and this had all happened within 2 months and I didn't have anywhere near enough time to save up enough money. I couldn't afford to attend school and had to drop out. Fast forward a few years, and my step dad had decided he was too good to be working to support our family, and so my mother divorced him. I recently quit my job because I've just started studying again, and they cut my hours from 30 a week, to 9 hours a week, which is nowhere near enough for me to live on. Which brings me back to the falling out. My mother is a very confrontational person, and instead of asking me what I was doing to be able to pay my share of bills and rent, she just came in to the kitchen while I was preparing breakfast and got angry and started slamming her fists on the counters because she thinks she knows my situation better than I do, without trying to talk to me about it. My mother also gave up a decent head managerial position at an employment agency to become a prostitute once she divorced my step dad, and is now seemingly trying to relive her youth by dating someone who is only 5 years older than I am. She will be 50 in a few years, and I don't see how she plans on maintaining her lifestyle (only works 2-3 nights a week, and spends all her days doing whatever drugs she can find with her junkie boyfriend). She has been hospitalised 3 times this year already because her health is failing, and I asked her what she plans on doing when she turns 50, if she still plans on being a junkie? At that point she lost her shit, and started screaming at me that I needed to leave home immediately and that she will get the police involved if necessary. Mind you, I am unemployed, trying to pay for my schooling so that I have a career and don't end up like her. She didn't know about my step dad sexually abusing me, and that came out during the argument. I feel so terrible because I know I have hurt her deeply now that she knows this, and she kept blaming herself for his actions. I feel like I've totally destroyed our relationship (not that it has ever been a good one or one that I really value) but it's shown me that I am so isolated in my family, the only person that likes me is my sister (I am very shy and socially awkward and I can't even be myself around my family members apart from my sister and even then, that's only because we raised each other). I feel like as I get older, I'm going to keep having the same confrontations because of my resentment until I have no one and that I'm going to die alone and hated. Life doesn't seem worth living if you're so despicable that not even your family values you, and they are meant to love you unconditionally.
Sorry for the massive whinge, I don't really have anyone to tell this to and I don't want to get my sister involved in my mess.

No. 93046

>>92819
Wow seriously cut them out of your life
There are girls in these threads that get strung along into this shit because the other person threatens them with suicide or violence, you have no reason except for your own reasons. Let them go already, in ime you will wish you did it sooner.

No. 93048

Me and my mom had a massive fight on Mother's day and I (accidentally) broke a necklace she gave me while we were arguing and I felt terrible as soon as it happened because it was a lucky necklace (that sounds dumb but w/e). But I looked it up so I can replace it and it's $1,700 that I don't have. I feel even worse and I've been crying all morning over it.

No. 93051

>>92819
that sounds awful and not very safe tbh, emotionally and otherwise. love yourself, don't do it

No. 93058

I'm just so tired of my current life, i can't even think of myself as being happy anymore. I kinda look forward to the future… but most days i wish i was just dead or that i did not fail my first two attempts at suicide, i am just so tired of everything surrounding me. The last months have been incredibly tough, i think, deep inside, even if it hurts to say, i've stopped loving most of my family, the only reason i stay in my house is because i do not have the means to leave right now.
My mother has been so overprotective that i ended up being a reclusive alone piece of shit, i'm 18 and i have yet to be able to leave my house without anyone. Whenever i mentioned i wanted to get a job or leave as soon as i was 18 she always says "as if you can live without me, you are nothing without me, you won't last a month alone, etc",. I cannot stand it, she treats me like i am nothing, like i cannot do anything by myself, it makes me feel so small.
My depression is just skyrocket high since the day before christmas of last year bc grandfather, who lives with us, punched me after i told him to stop beating my cat (he constalty kicked him in the stomach because he bit him when he was annoying him), called me a disgusting whore, told me he wishes i was dead, that i would leave and never come back, that i was never born, telling me i was a savage and a "faggot", choking me, trying to push me while telling me he wish he could kill me… all that good stuff ya know, merry christmas and all that. My family's answer to this mess was anger, but now they tell me i should talk to him (i don't talk to him anymore since that day) and that i should forgive him because he's old, that i shouldn't be so bitter… it's killing me inside how much they prefer saving face over how much that destroyed me.
My grandmother has constant pain and takes it with the whole family, treating us like shit and not letting us speak about anything else than her illnesses. I've stopped speaking since even the most minimal thing gets her crying and telling me/us how we are mistreating her and how we are horrible people, etc. It's just so… draining.
I know they all love me, but i just… don't feel that great in my house.

I'm currently trying to get a car license and a job to leave as far away as possible.
I do not have any friends irl or online to talk to, so everything that has happened in my life has been just inside me, always. I never talk to anyone and spend most of my day exercising or away on the computer, which i don't enjoy anymore, since i just can't find any motivation to do anything. All things that i liked like videogames, anime, books, drawing… i just can't find the motivation or excitement in any of them anymore so idk what more to do.
I'm completly dead inside lmao

No. 93069

I think I'm destined to be a single virgin forever. I'm not traditional or conservative or whatever, but all the guys I've dated expect me to sleep with them before I even really know them and/or expect a pornstar experience with me acting out all their fetishes which makes me really uncomfortable.

I wouldn't mind having sex with them if we were seriously dating and I knew I could trust them, I guess I'm paranoid that a guy would just see me as a "pump and dump" or as his personal fucktoy.

And I'm not one of those "missionary with the lights off" girls either, I wouldn't mind giving blowjobs or roleplaying a little but kinks like BDSM, DD/LG, etc. make me really uncomfortable - and it seems like most guys are into stuff like that.

Ugh - I don't know, I guess I'm just a boring prude.

No. 93073

>>93069
Hate to break it to you anon, but most men in the world are just going to want to get a quick fuck in. They don't care about knowing you, nor do they consider knowing you to be a prerequisite before sex. You'll just have to be like any normal human being who wants something more than sex… shop around or wait for the "right" person to come along that thinks the same way you do.

>wouldn't mind giving blowjobs

>bdsm and stuff
>boring prude

oh, shut up

No. 93076

>>93073
Yeah, that's why I said that I'm probably going to be a virgin forever - but thanks for reaffirming me about what men want. I was just venting because it's hard to "shop around" and find the right guy - and it's a vent thread so I'll vent about it as much as I want.

No. 93093

What's the point of catcalling? It's happened to me a few times, always when the guy is speeding past in his car. Like, you don't even stick around long enough to see my reaction or ask me out or anything, so what's the point? I guess some guys like the idea of "offending" a woman even if they can't personally see it but honestly I don't even get upset. My only reaction is lol wut idiot, then I go about my day.

No. 93099

>>93093
It's to communicate with other men, duh. That's why it's always groups of men like construction workers or whatever.

No. 93100

>be around 160lbs for last six years
>mom always bothers me about working out/losing weight/my body
>do sports in high school but nothing changes
>come home for winter break and the first thing my mom tells me is I need to get active and that my eating isn't healthy
>Uni has free gym
>why the fuck not
>go from only being able to work out for 15min before giving up to pushing myself more and more
>weight drops to 140 since winter
>roommate in Uni is pretty overnight, goes to gym sometiems but is mostly lazy af
>talking about my weight loss
>oh anon I don't think your weight loss is healthy, like weren't you counting calories? That's super unhealthy
>all my rage
>been working so hard to get my shit togther and be healthy
>call mom to whine about it
>"oh anon I don't know if you're being healthy"
>the first time she has ever complimented my body was when I was home for spring break after losing the first 15lbs
Just so salty that I can't win at life. At least I know I'm trying but god dam so salty

No. 93102

>>93100
I know it's easier said than done but fuck what they say, you know you're being healthy so enjoy it for yourself

No. 93108

>>93099
I never got anything from groups of construction workers or any kind of group. it was always lone guys which makes it weirder.

No. 93123

>>93100
I know that feel anon. My dad brings me all of my old favorite candies, sweets, and calorie heavy foods literally several times a week. And will literally put in my face when I say I'm on my diet. I have to argue with him over not being able to eat deep fried shit or cake. My mom freaks out all the time and tells me I should "eat real food like mc donalds" and says eating at any calorific deficient will make me severely deficit of nutrients and anorexic. I went from finally having (deformed) breasts to being literally flat and it killed all newly gained confidence and will to continue. I would relapse into binging and then lose it and so on for months.

Thankfully my bf and my grandfather have been cheering me on. I'm so close now. I started at 200, was at around 140 when I met my bf and plateaued, and now I'm so freaking close to my goal of 85 pounds (yes I'm an almost literal midget). In about two months I'll be skinny for the first time in my entire life.

You can do it anon, I believe in you!

No. 93158

>>93123
Like midget by medical definition?
85 pounds is light even for most asian women. How do you manage loose skin from such a drastic loss?

No. 93167

I've been making myself barf everytime I eat.
I'm not anachan, I'm just fat and weak-willed.

No. 93174

>tfw you're halfway done with school and you regret choosing your major because you can't do shit in that field with a b.a.
Fuck my life. My plan B was to minor in accounting, but after looking at how many classes I would need and seeing how it would set me back another year, I don't think I can do it. Especially since I'm older and bf is waiting for me to graduate and get a job so he can buy a house. Wtf kind of job can I get with a shitty b.a., albeit from a school in the top 15.

No. 93176

>>93174
What's your major? Just take the extra year to do accounting, accounting is a solid albeit boring career. You'll find work and get a decent salary. As much as I love my BA, most majors in it really are useless unless you want to do postgrad research/law school etc.

Your boyfriend can wait another year. You need job security first. That's way more important.

No. 93180

File: 1463645006322.jpg (7.64 KB, 232x94, IMG_6196.JPG)

>>93123
>My mom freaks out all the time and tells me I should "eat real food like mc donalds"

No. 93192

>>93176
Thanks anon, it makes sense, but then I have my doubts. I have ADHD and I worry that I won't be able to get through the 2 upper level math courses with a solid grade.
Psychology. I love it and want to go to grad school, but he's mentioned a timeline. Idk, I'm just so afraid of the future.

No. 93199

>>93192
If you want to go to grad school for psych, then you totally should anon! You like it, and it can lead to a few different careers. Is grad school really going to throw that big of a wrench into the 'timeline'? I'm not getting why your bf wants to adhere to it so closely.

Are you getting treatment for your ADHD? If you're set on accounting, math is fine if you put the work into it, it's mainly a matter of practice. Get a head start into the content beforehand if you can. If worse comes to worse, you could always pay a math major or similar to help you out. Math professors are usually happy to help too.

The future will be fine, anon. You have a rough plan now, and you sound like a practical person, you'll be able deal with things as they come.

No. 93227

>>93199
We've been together for 4 years. He's motivated me to get my life together instead of an hero. So seeing me through that and therapy has been like an endless road to watching me get my shit together with minimal milestones being reached. He's 31, wants to get a house. We don't want kids so I have no idea what the rush is.
I just started medication and am learning how to cope/organize/structure, but it feels like I can't fix everything fast enough to get my shit together so I can reach this arbitrary "timeline" deadline.
This is all very true. I'll have to talk to him some more. Thanks anon.

No. 93253

I'm annoyed. My doctor says I have fibromyalgia. However, I don't believe that fibromyalgia is real I told him that and he gave me a pamphlet. But I still don't buy it's a real thing. Therefore I don't agree with the diagnosis at all.
When I see those tumblrinas complaining I just can't stand it. Post after post of whining about pain. I don't want to be seen like that.

It just seems like a blanket term for some pain and fatigue. It's not very helpful at all. I've had arthritis since I was a little kid. I can handle it. I just don't think fibromyalgia is a real thing. I don' think anyone could convince me that it's anything more than bored housewife syndrome.

No. 93255

>>93253
In a new study 50% of people with fibromyalgia were shown to have nerve damage. Another large portion are just fat, sedentary and eat crappy inflammatory foods, but besides them yeah it is real.

No. 93261

>>92951
The feeling of acoomplishment for yourself as you push yourself will feel better, don't give up on things just because you're not encouraged!

No. 93292

>>93158
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I'm just tall enough to not be a legal midget at 4'11. I'm not Asian nor am I small framed, but 85 pounds is just on the skinnier side of the healthy range.

You either get it or you don't. Being young and losing it slowly helps, but it all comes down to genetics in the end. Thankfully it was one of my only non-shit genes.

No. 93332

Met a really sweet girl this week and I think we both like each other problem is we're in different continents, sigh every fucking time.

No. 93364

Once again I've had to block my psycho highschool ex I broke up with over six years ago. This is the third(probably more) time he's made new accounts to try and talk to me. It's really got me bugging out because he's the fairly dangerous schizo type that can get aggressive, thankfully we live hundreds of miles apart but I still worry he'll show up on my doorstep with a knife someday.

Along side that, I'm in month five of dealing with some kind of mystery illness that causes my heart rate to be double what it's supposed to be and fainting. I've gained so much weight because of it and am only not falling back into ednos because if I try to restrict, I faint worse. I'm tired of being a neet and just want to go back to school but sharp scissors, chemicals, and fainting don't mix. The doctors thought it was pots but my tilt came back negative a few days ago.

I'm just tired and depressed I guess.

No. 93365

>>93364
Dang hope things get better anon. Heart problems are so scary.

No. 93370

>>93365
Thanks anon. They've ruled out anything structurally wrong with it, like clots, blood pressure, iron, or congestive failure. It makes it more frustrating though because they keep trying to blame it on anxiety and deconditioning even though one day I was on my feet running around a huge student salon all day, then the next I was passing out from the trip from my bed to my couch. It started super abruptly.

No. 93377

File: 1463755905677.png (160.9 KB, 500x375, 1444340815851.png)

broke up with a bf whom i was supposed to go abroad with
I cant even get a refund and i spent £1400
i feel so shitty
dad is replacing my door in my room so i cant even fucking cry

No. 93387

>>93377
Go abroad to live with or go on holiday with?
Because if it's a holiday just go anyway.

Borrow some pity money from your parents if you can, book a hostel so that you will meet other travellers, and just ignore your ex on the plane.

No. 93389

>>93377
I second this anon >>93387 go and have fun if you like to travel.

No. 93415

File: 1463770275072.jpg (20.94 KB, 333x243, 1444340934245.jpg)

>>93387
>>93389
go on holidays with
I wish i wouldnt be a pussy but i dont think i can go to a non-english speaking country by myself.

ive been crying for the whole day and i have a huge headache now /rant

No. 93417

>>93415
What country is it? Most people in non-english speaking countries speak english.

No. 93418

File: 1463771038889.jpeg (24.23 KB, 500x500, 09d538abf06817022efc9831f87fc6…)

>>93417
Korea
apparently you can gt lost there easily according to my now ex bf
so that put me off
besides i wouldnt know what to do there

No. 93420


No. 93421

>>93418
Research anon. At least it's an Asian country and not like the Middle East. You should be fairly safe. Even if a lot of people don't speak English in Korea, you can get by with gesticulations and pronunciation of streets or city names. My bf and I went to Japan and he doesn't know a lick of Japanese. He was able to go out without me without a problem. When we looked lost, someone always offered help. There's also always someone at the train stations that can help. Google translate helps too.
Don't be discouraged. You don't have anyone willing to just go with you?

No. 93424

>>93420
Y…es
>>93421
Thanks anon. That gave me a bit of hope. I might think over it again

I used to have a few friends that currently live in Korea but 3 weeks seems like a lot and id feel like a burden.

No. 93521

Right now there's an anti-abortion procession/parade/whatever you call it going on and I just…how fucking retarded do you have to be? I literally can't find the right words to describe how frustrated am I am with this country.
I wish I could move to another country but I'm too poor fml.

No. 93536

>>93424
You never know unless you try and ask them. You have nothing to lose by asking. Just bring them gifts from your country or buy them a drink somewhere. I hear soju is as cheap as a dollar.

No. 93542

God I can't stand autists/aspies and I'm surrounded by them IRL. The smart ones can be interesting to talk to about certain things but trying to do anything more than that is excruciating. The dumb ones are just fucking useless. annoying sensory problems, no social skills or intuition, AND can't function without sponging off people who feel sorry for them? Fuck neurodiversity. Autism is a disability and we can't find a cure fast enough. You can be focused/detail oriented without throwing a tard tantrum every time you don't get your way.

No. 93544

>>93521
I do feel abortion is bad, but I'm not against it legally.

No. 93546

File: 1463862873568.gif (1.68 MB, 360x218, Xw1fN1r.gif)

hahaahahhahahaahahhaahah oh man another failed romance ahahahhaahahahahhahaahahah god why do I even try anymore it's clear that I'll die alone fuck it I might go out earlier

No. 93548

>>93546
Tell me you didn't sleep with him.

No. 93549

>>93548

Plot twist I'm a guy

Things were going really great not sure what fucked it up, she seems really disinterested today while she was really affectionate yesterday. maybe I'm just paranoid as fuck I don't know

No. 93550

>>93549

she probably just found someone better probably, happens all the time

No. 93551

>>93544

Why tho.

No. 93552

File: 1463864591627.jpg (136.26 KB, 658x1024, depositphotos_4415330-Happy-be…)

>>93549
>>93546

Just bee urself.

No. 93553

>>93551
No idea, convos were going great but now it's just dry "haha" and "yes"'s.

No. 93646

>>93553

Heh I got used again for attention then thrown aside like a piece of trash again. Fucking never again, fuck this shit.

No. 93661

I'm starting to realize how much of an awful vendetta I have against people who dont even know me. I start to actually get angry and resentful to innocent people on facebook for no real reason other than "I hate them"

No. 93662

>>93661
What do you hate about them?

No. 93676

>>93542
why are you sorrounded by autists? How did you happen into these circumstances?

No. 93684

File: 1463979543389.jpg (157.9 KB, 640x636, 1463973646683.jpg)

>read article about men who personify sex dolls like they're real girlfriends/wives/children
>apparently most of this behavior is driven by their trauma from previous relationships
>ex. one guy was divorced and feels he can't date again because he's not financially sound and impotent
>ex. another guy has chronic social anxiety and mistrust of people due to childhood bullying
>hence they prefer the dolls because they're "nurturing" and are always there so they don't cause more pain
>in any case, it's tragic that these guys feel they can't connect to anyone real and have to resort to inanimate objects for companionship

>comment on the article stating something to the effect that I hope they find companionship regardless of their circumstances like impotency or bad previous relationships

>many people like the comment and are surprised at "sympathy on the internet"
>because most other men in the comment section attacked their manhoods or think it's just a weird fetish

>no sooner are people responding positively to my comment a bunch of men swoop in and accuse my comment of being "bitter," "jealous," "hypocritical," and "lol you look like a doll soooo ironic!!!" (because I'm wearing lolita in my picture)

>"WOMEN HAVE DILDOS SO THERE!!!!!!!"

I tried to calmly explain that my comment wasn't ill-intended, and that my reference to impotency and bad relationships were based on the reasoning given by the interviewees in the article. Not my assumptions about them.
Furthermore, there's a difference between using a dildo or a fleshlight for pleasure and personifying an inanimate object to be human because of loneliness or being unable to cope with a real human relationship. Dolls, by definition, just aren't nurturing. I may choose to aesthetically look like a doll but I do have the capacity to feel for and nurture my bf.

I just don't know why people always have to find PROBLEMATIC interpretations about nice things said on the internet. People say only SJWs do it, but bullshit, fucking everyone does these days. Everyone is offended and angry at something.

No. 93688

File: 1463982570852.png (90.41 KB, 687x429, are you shitting me.png)

>>93684
Vent #2 while I'm still here.

Today I tried to confess my anxiety disorder and depression issues to my parents for support. They called today asking how I've been because I've been making it known to friends that I'm struggling and drowning financially. I broke down on the phone and was an emotional wreck.

Sidenote: I do not trust my parents to understand my emotional issues, and I never have. They view disordered people as "crazy," and they have that half-forsaken baby boomer mentality that if people just "pull themselves up by the bootstraps," and "just do it" and "go to doctor" everything will be okay and mental illness disappears for good and is not a recurring, lifelong ill. If you suffer chronically even though you appear normal on the outside, you are using your mental illness during weak points in your life as an "excuse" to be lazy and melodramatic.
BUT-if you asked them publicly if they cared about mental illness they'd legitimize it. It's only bad behind closed doors. They only tell me, and not their friends, that struggling mentally is bad because they care about their public image.
They know viewing mental disorders as "excuse-making" is shitty so they hide that from people.
I am not shitting you. My mom is a fucking harpy when it comes to this.
Regardless, I just wanted them to listen to me. I knew I was at an emotional and personal low to confide in my parents about anything. I knew the consequences…but just maybe I thought…

Firstly, I explained why I haven't been going into work and not making as much money to pay bills. I also explained how my tax return got messed up and my company didn't deliver on a cash advance, and so for the past 2 weeks I've had a $0 bi-weekly paycheck to 'live' on save for what my boyfriend has supported me with. My bills are due and I have no choice but to sell my things so my credit score won't tank. In addition, my massive weight gain and lack of energy just compound my daily anxiousness. I honestly do not want to leave my apartment on the daily. Not only is this extremely embarrassing for me, but it makes me feel incredibly guilty.
I've tried calling my insurance to see who covers mental care locally (I have out-of-state aka 'out-of-network' company insurance so the last time I foolishly went to emergency primary care I was billed $1100.00, and another $1300 for a pap smear/blood test–my deductible is $3k even w/copay and both bills don't count towards deductible for reasons). I managed to contact one psychologist center whose director said a psychologist would call me but they never did. It discouraged me greatly, this was last week.

My stepdad was the first to yell at me about my job. My job deals with an angry public, and I absolutely dread going in but it's the only one with benefits and that pays over $15/hr.
>"I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. EVERY WEEK EVER SINCE I WAS A KID I'VE WORKED 40 HOURS AND HAVE HAD A PAYCHECK EVERY WEEK. IF YOU HATE YOUR JOB THEN JUST GET ANOTHER."
Even though my stepdad has done equally fucked financial things like failing to get us health insurance, owing the IRS thousands. I also hate how he thinks there's just another job out there with good benefits and decent pay. Most jobs I've looked into using my degree only pay $9-13 per hour entry and have no bennies.
Next, he put mom on the line…
>"I KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS. PANIC DISORDER, RIGHT?…SOMETHING, I'M NOT SURE."
Can you google it so you can know that anxiety isn't just something I decide I "won't do" today?
>BUT YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SO MELODRAMATIC AND GET HELP. YOU'RE TALKING IN CIRCLES AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE HAVING SO MUCH DIFFICULTY."
Well if you knew what anxiety was you would know why it's difficult. I'm trying to make you understand how I feel but you're talking over me and not listening! I'm also not stupid, I know I need help but I've tried reaching out and for reasons these psychologists haven't returned my calls. I'm discouraged and I break down just trying to look up covered practices to call because I feel hopeless.
>"I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE THIS DIAGNOSIS EVEN HAPPENED. YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU WERE DIAGNOSED IN GRAD SCHOOL? I DON'T THINK YOU'RE STUPID, SO STOP PROJECTING. I JUST DON'T THINK YOU'RE DOING ENOUGH. STOP LYING AND JUST ADMIT YOU HAVEN'T TRIED. OH STOP IT"
By this point I was so furious I was screaming at her over the phone like a madwoman. She kept interrupting me, wasn't listening to how I was feeling. All she could do was make me feel like an infant. It got so bad that at one point she was ignoring me while in the background she was looking up "crisis centers" with my stepdad. She threatened
>"IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME DETAILS OF AN APPOINTMENT YOU BOOKED BY TOMORROW I AM CALLING A CRISIS CENTER AND PUTTING YOU IN ONE!!"
I hang up.
She tries calling.
I ignore it.
She sends me a text of the crisis center. I google reviews of it. Pic related.

Out of options, I call an employee assistance hotline within my company. I speak to a sweet girl named Ashley. Trembling, I explain to her what I'd been arguing about with my parents for the past two hours and she apologizes that I don't have a good support network. She gives me a list of psychological providers where I can get a four visit trial covered for free.
>text my parents and let them know as per their ultimatum
>mom jekyll/hydes me and goes sweet again
>"Oh good, I love you anon"
…does she really, or does she just love me when I act 'normal' enough.

No. 93697

>want bf
>join okcupid last week to get bf
>have some great conversations, some genuinely attractive guys that seem fun
>freak out yesterday and delete every trace of it because i can't ever see myself meeting up with a stranger irl
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF

No. 93702

>>93688
stop talking to your parents about that sort of thing, they clearly will not give you the support you want. if you need money sell some of your lolita clothes.

No. 93713

>>93684
> I'm wearing lolita in my picture

sigh

No. 93718

File: 1464010383541.jpg (81.17 KB, 450x600, image-MXFVXWxs.jpg)

It really annoys me when people don't see obvious shoop and call someone who points it out jealous or liar.
By obvious photoshop I mean pictures similar to this one.
I just don't understand how people can not see it.

No. 93723

>>93718
I mean I guess they don't want to see it, but I don't get it either. If it was good shoops then fine, live the dream. But your example, that's just pathetic kek.

No. 93740

I have a lot of difficulty making friends in real life because I have social anxiety and I worry that I'm too dependent on my girlfriend for social interaction. My first semester of college and I spent it waiting under the staircase after class waiting for her.

I spend a lot of time online and for many years and usually spent it lurking forums and such. A few years ago, I found 4chan and spent a lot of time lurking there and posting on boards like /fa/, and /cgl/ and once /r9k/ was back up, spent all of my time there.

I starting going from lonely and depressed to irritable and bitter since then and near the middle of the semester, I finally stopped browsing it and started feeling better. Unfortunately, the other boards I browsed are no longer things I enjoy either.

Well, I guess I should have gotten happier from moving on from shitty people like the ones I interacted with on /r9k/ and such, but now I've gone back to feeling lonely and I didn't have an escape from it

Im kind of glad I found lolcow, though. I feel that the culture here is generally much more tame than a few other forums. Besides the SJW/Anti-SJW mindsets, it's definitely been great here

Ah, sorry for the mess, just kind of typing here

No. 93761

I hate Buzzfeed with the passion of 10 a-logs. I hate that people treat it as legitimate journalism because it confirms their biases/beliefs. I hate that I just met a man with two graduate degrees from elite institutions who DID EXACTLY THIS because he automatically assumed I was SJW.

I really really really hate Buzzfeed.

No. 93762

>>93740
>have severe pervasive anxiety problem
>no friends
>but in a relationship

I've seen tons of people here say they have X mental disorder that prevents them from interacting normally with people, and yet they managed to snag a BF/GF. How on earth does that happen?

No. 93763

>>93762
Having one close, intimate relationship with someone who probably understands you better than a relative is a lot more manageable than putting yourself out there and trying to have a social circle.
And who knows, maybe the person they're dating has the same disorder or experiences with it, so they're more forgiving.

No. 93769

>>93763
The question is how they put themselves into a position to get to know someone/get someone to know them that well in the first place though.

No. 93770

>>93769
Varies from person to person, anon. Why do you want to know? Trying to get a bf?

No. 93772

>>93770
Honestly? No, because I know I'm a tard and cunt. I hate subjecting friends to it, even the similarly challenged ones, much less any potential (serious) boyfriend.

That's a rude way of saying no one deserves to date me while I'm this awful. No judgment - I know how hard it is to open up to anyone when you've got a mental disorder, so I'm surprised that some people manage to get intimate with such a 'handicap' is all.

No. 93791

>>93769
Maybe meeting during a period of wellness?
I'm the anon from >>93688 and I met my bf out of pure coincidence, and he also happened to know a lot of friends in my circle as well. We had just never met before. I wasn't unwell at the time.

We've been dating two years now and this is the first time I've had an anxious breakdown in our relationship. Fortunately for me, we're open communicators and his ex of five years was a huge basketcase in comparison.

>>93772
>That's a rude way of saying no one deserves to date me while I'm this awful.
Imo you're being really hard on yourself anon, but hell, I can understand how you're feeling right now.

No. 93804

>>93791
I mean, it motivates me to become better. It's harsh, but if it works, it works.

>ex was a huge basketbase

And this is why I don't date. Because I know I'm nutso and do NOT want people telling these kinds of stories about me.

Also, because people know I'm nutso and keep setting me up with literal autists so idk man I gotta get my shit together.

No. 93809

>>93804
>do NOT want people telling these kinds of stories about me

Which is fair but tbh anon my bf wasn't a jerk and didn't tell me a bunch of unsavory stories about her.
When we first started dating she would call his cell phone while we were out on dates, he'd have to excuse himself to go talk her down, and the whole time she'd do ridiculous stuff like threaten to harm or kill herself if he didn't make time for her right away. Also, I kind of knew her from a college production and she started to break down once after a townstorming event, so…my impression of her was more because of how she presented herself and not on what I had heard of her.

Either way anon I hope things start lightening up. I don't wish this ride on anybody.

No. 93833

I unconciously "cycle" through all of my interests and it annoys me a lot. I'll binge watch anime for a week straight, but then get the urge to read manga, so I'll only feel like reading manga for a week or two, then I'll read regular novels instead, but then I get the urge to watch kdrama, so I binge on a series until the last episode because my interests switch up by then. What do?

No. 93837

>>93833
Me too, anon. Only with me its everything in life: hobbies, interests, school and career related shit. I kind of have no idea who I am.

No. 93843

>>93837
I guess I do all that too. Damn. I don't have a job currently because after a month or two I end up hating whatever job i'm doing, so I quit. Has happened like 4 different times.

No. 93898

>>93762
>>93769

Well, to be honest when we met way back in middle school, I wasn't exactly trying to be her friend and actively avoided her. She'd try to sit with me at lunch to be friendly, but I wouldn't talk and would sometimes skip lunch out of fear she'd bring her friends along

She was and still is very outgoing and I almost hated her for it because it felt like she was making things really difficult, but she eventually kind of gave up on me. In our second year of high school, however, she began talking to me again because I'd usually try to find empty booths to sit in at lunch and she often invited herself over with an unfamiliar group and I sort of started latching on to her

Well, fast forward to the end of high school, and we're good friends and even exchanged numbers and such. Her ex gf moves and she begins talking to me even more and we start dating. I really didn't think it'd work out, but now that she understands my issues a little better, our relationship has been going very well and I can't really see us ever growing apart

I'm afraid Ive even become highly dependent on her for social interaction because as I've said, I still have no friends or intimate relationships outside of her and my anxiety is still a huge problem for me most of time. It even starts to feel lonely, with a gf and all, because she does have a life outside of me

I mean, I see why you think it would be bizarre, but I guess we've just kind of fell into each other. I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder years ago, but never really attempted therapy and such because my mom thought it was kind of stupid and figured I would grow out of it by the end of high school. She's probably right, I feel like I deserve feeling lonely since it's my fault, but I do feel extremely lucky for meeting my gf and hope that we'll stay together for a long time.

Hope this answers your question, anon

No. 93932

I'm sorry, this is gonna be melodramatic af, but I'm trying hard to tone that down.

But I'm so stuck. I dropped out of sixth form about a year ago now. I have anorexia and my weight was severe, and though for the rest of the year it had helped me to cope with my depression and anxiety and helped me to manage the workload, inevitably I reached a point where I couldn't write an essay because all I could think about was food. I was taken to the doctors as "punishment" for dropping out by my mum, even though it was what I had wanted when I first realised I was struggling with depression, and I got diagnosed with severe depression, GAD, and AN. Therapy took a while to get and I only managed to start it at the end of August, so though during the time leading up to that I had tried my hardest to eat more by myself following self-help resources, wanting to be able to start college in September asap, I ultimately wasn't well enough to see that through and had made very little improvement except in my weight, so when I started back at college in September pretty much bordering on healthy, I slipped back and wound up not being able to eat properly and do schoolwork. It was infuriating and I got incredibly anxious very fast, and again dropped out. My therapist told me it was a totally justifiable decision, though I think a part of me was just trying to avoid how scary it was to have to act like I was better when I really wasn't, and my relapse just continued.

Again, I'm in a similar position as I was last year: my mum sold our old house, so we've moved, and we've had workmen over for the past 2 months doing the place up, so I've had to wait to start courses - I'm doing them online so at least I can avoid the anxiety of getting myself in every day and do it in my own time, which isn't ideal, but I don't want to waste another year after effectively wasting two. I'm waiting on seeing a mental health team here, the earliest appointment I could get was at the start of next month and I booked it at the start of April, so I'll likely be starting therapy again in August at the earliest. Again, my weight is severely low. I relapsed in my self-harm to try to stop me breaking things or harming people (I haven't hurt anyone, I'm just afraid that I might on impulse). I've tried to manage my stress levels and the things that set me off but the majority of them are things linked to my mum, and while it's crucial to my recovery to work through my issues with my mum every single time I try to she tells me to "get over it" and to stop trying to tell her what to do. I wish I was seeing myself in a biased way and in reality I was yelling at her bossing her about, but I'm not: one of my issues at the minute is that noises, especially when I'm trying to sleep, make me uncontrollably angry, and I never got through that issue with my old therapist (she told me my anger was "understandable" and that I was just being self-depracative). So when it gets to 11PM I try to sleep, so I can keep a reasonable sleeping schedule, and that's when my mum and stepdad watch TV, with the loudest volume, generally with the door open (we don't even have doors at the minute because they're getting changed as well). I tried one time when I first noticed how this made me feel to ask if they could turn it down - I asked politely, I knew it would get rejected but I wanted to at least try, but in all honesty my mum has terrified me for most of my life so it's really hard to express how I feel to her - and she yelled at me to stop trying to control her life. This scenario played out again yesterday, causing one of my worst episodes, as I hadn't slept the night before for more than 3 hours either. She accused me of ruining her life, a comment that lead me to a panic attack, that then lead to a very hazy anger episode, that then lead to me sat outside in the garden with my quilt over my head crying. I got yelled at for that too and told I "can't just throw tantrums when I don't get my own way", and of course I completely agree, but I genuinely have no control over my actions or emotions in such states. It's fucking embarrassing. I tried so hard to get that across to the MH team member I talked to after overdosing a few months ago (wasn't a suicide attempt, just an impulse I couldn't control and before I realised what I was doing I'd swallowed 10 pills). But they couldn't really do anything as I was moving house too soon, and now all my issues seem to be spread out among different MH professionals that each know different things and I've been dissociating often, restricting and self-harming just to try to regulate my emotions as much as I can, because as much as I've tried to cope healthily my mum has zero tolerance for slip-ups, and at least I know this stuff works, even if it's a major step back.

I really want to get better. I really want to go out and live life and not end up like fucking Ashley Isaacs. But I'm trapped in a toxic house, miles away from everyone I'm friends with, trying to fool myself into thinking that I can tackle A Levels again or do fucking anything productive at all even when I'm even worse off than when I first dropped out. And I don't even know what the fuck I'm dealing with in regards to impulses/emotional stuff because every time I try to voice my concerns about it they say I'm just blowing it out of proportion in my head as a result of being self-depractative, or my mum calls me a liar and says I just need to grow up.

No. 93954

>want to become closer with an estranged friend because we're on good terms and chat a few times a week
>problem is that she's already made herself a clique of really close friends
>always feel like I'm being clingy/barging in when I try interacting
>feel like this with nearly everyone I try and make friends with
why am I destined to be alone

No. 93959

>>93954
I often find myself feeling the same way, but that's all it is: a feeling. If you let it get to you, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As long as you don't act desperate by clinging onto people, you'll be fine. Get yourself in the mindset that you're a human and therefore it's natural and normal for you to have friends and social interaction.

No. 93977

Why can't my family be normal. I know usually what I see of other families is just the surface but some just seem so damn happy and average. I wish my dad wasn't so strict and traditional. I wish he never raised his voice or his hand and let me have freedom to do things, to be a normal social person. I wish my older brother wasn't a violent and narcissistic person. He fucking screamed at my mom for hours for not answering his phone call and kicked holes in the walls and several weeks later expects everything to be fine after saying sorry to her. I wish my little brother wasn't acting out and turning into someone like my older brother. He keeps getting into trouble at school and saying he hates this family. I wonder if I picked on him or wasn't kind enough. We hardly talk. I can't help going through memories wondering what caused these things. I myself am an awkward thing and just hope that I'm not as bad but I probably am.

For fucks sake. I's not all doom and gloom, not all the time, but I just wish we were normal. Things would be so much happier and easier.

No. 93991

>leave facebook for a while just cant be assed
>sick of always inviting everyone out so stop texting
>literally never texted ever
>friends chat about night out and dont invite me
>i always invite them
>been like a month and nothing not a single message

fuck this really sucks, I'm not even a shitty friends or like a cunt, I'm just shy but this hurts a ton.

like was i even their friend or considered one

No. 94013

About a few years ago I had an infection that spread to my balls. It got really bad. They got really swollen, red, skin was flaking off and shit. Extreme pain. Blood-coming-out-of-dick tier, literally. Antibiotics cleared out the infection, and I thought everything was all good. As the months passed, I noticed my testicles were shrinking, among many other things. I went back to the doctor. They were atrophying. They had been damaged too much from the infection, I was (and obviously still am and always will be) sterile. My body now barely even produces any testosterone. My balls have shrunken by a massive amount and are basically retracted back into my body.

I wanted to have a normal life, and have kids, a family. But now I never will. Adoption isn't the same, I want little "me"s running around, continuations of my life force. I worked at a school for a while and had plenty of the "guardianship" feels fulfilled, but it did nothing to make my desire for my own kids go away.

I fell into huge depression after I found out about the seriousness and permanence of my situation. I basically lost the will to live and had been seriously considering suicide for a while. I was given meds to replace my testosterone. I took them very briefly, but stopped. I still haven't started it back up. What's the fucking point? I'll never be a true man again. I'll never have a fully fulfilled life, the way I wanted it. I'm basically letting this slowly kill me. I'm making sure to get my vitamin D and calcium, I get daily load bearing exercise, to help combat bone loss and joint pain and such things, but I've decided to just let this run its course. I feel like taking testosterone reminds me too much of what I can never have, same with being with women. I'd rather just not think about sex all that much. I'd rather live a completely different life than the one I was wanting to my whole life, since I can't have the life I wanted. At least this way I don't think too much about what could have been. I don't have as many constant reminders, living like this.

I was a bit bisexual before, almost straight really, and I've basically become a huge faggot. My life is entirely different. I look entirely different. I act entirely different. I have no job and I'm supported by my bf. I've lost all ambition in life and now I basically just exist day-to-day, aimlessly going about existence. I have come to enjoy myself again and I try really hard not to think about what happened to me. I've gotten more used to it with time. Most days I feel pretty good although I feel like I'm getting a little stir-crazy with the NEET/housebitch existence. I do love my bf a lot and it is really nice to be loved and taken care of and adored and all that faggy romantic shit. I don't really talk to him or anyone about my shitty feels about all this stuff. I try to keep it away from the surface, and give off an impression to people that I enjoy myself and my life.

I'll still never have the life I wanted, but I suppose things could be worse.

No. 94015

>>94014
Joke's on you, the bulk of it is from a text document I wrote so I wouldn't have to type it all up every time I explain my situation. Touched up to fit the thread a bit.

lazy/10 on both of our parts.

No. 94021

>>94017
>browses an imageboard with a population mainly consisting of gigantic bitter losers
>namefags on it
>acts superior to anyone
Kek.

What do you want to see? I won't show face but I'll show other shit.

No. 94027

File: 1464149661362.jpg (Spoiler Image, 2.54 MB, 2988x5312, bp.jpg)

>>94023
How about my shit-tier boipucci? You're asking for pics from a eunuch obviously you're a gigantic faggot or something :^)

I don't shave anywhere but my face and my pubes by the way. What you see is the level of hair I naturally grow now.

No. 94030

>>94013
I gotta say, that's a weird reaction to have, but I guess you could've done worse. Kudos for not blowing your brains out?

No. 94031

>>94029
Jesus read the fucking post you lazy little nigger, kek. What did you expect but to be confused? Why are you even wasting your time with this shit, do you have an IQ of like 89 or something? It's okay if you do man, someone's got to bag groceries and pump gas.

No. 94032

>>94029
>>94023
>>94017
>>94014
>>>>/r9k/ get the fuck out.

No. 94035

File: 1464151283252.jpg (165 KB, 1366x768, your post.jpg)

>>94033
Here's my brotip: the fewer posts you make, the higher our opinion of you will be. You're just making an ass of yourself m80. You're a wreck. It's been a very long time since I've seen someone as pathetic as you on an imageboard, and that's saying something. Until you fix that you're really not going to progress anywhere in regards to your goals.

No. 94036

>>94035
Just report. He's clearly a robot from /r9k/ shitting up threads. Have you seen /g/?

No. 94040

File: 1464152573646.jpg (65.38 KB, 500x333, you (3).jpg)

>>94037
>what the fk was that supposed to mene?
That your shit's fucked up and you're all retarded, see? You can't even throw a good insult, let alone a mediocre one. No matter how your posts are interpreted they are pathetic as fuck. This alone makes it pretty obvious you're a robot.

>teehee normies

>im not a robot lol guise cmon

Post some pics of yourself so we can have a real laugh? ;^o I'm sure you look the part too. Is pic related close? Is this you?

No. 94042

File: 1464153091648.png (302.73 KB, 576x463, proof-conference.png)

>>94041
>i actually do training regularly and i'm healthy male in my 20's in much better shape than you based on the pic you posted.
Proofs? Gotta prove it or you're full of shit m80.
Hey maybe if you're hot enough I'll have a good fap. Throw in a timestamp while you're at it so we really know it's you.

If you can't do that, then we're going to have to assume the worst.

No. 94045

>>94040
>>94043
Stop replying and wait for the banhammer you dumb bitch

No. 94047

>>94043
>no pic
Didn't even read
>>94045
I was just having my fun with the omega, he's gotten boring though.

No. 94053

>>94047
This isn't about you having fun. Responding to them just satisfies their hunger for attention and makes them visit this place more. Better to ignore them or let them think they're shadowbanned or some shit.

No. 94064


No. 94065

File: 1464157976076.gif (290.67 KB, 200x331, just do it.gif)

>>94064
Post yourself or you're fatter :DD

>implying I'd post the image if I even gave a fuck about any possible insult you bitter fucks could come up with

No. 94069

>>94068
>no picture
Didn't even read your post, lardo.

No. 94300

File: 1464266282970.jpg (87.62 KB, 640x640, 123897987421.jpg)

Been trying hard to maintain a body like this all my life, I gave birth and gained so much weight and my stomach looks like a testicle. I want to love my child but I feel a bit bitter and I hate myself for feeling this way. I also feel really depressed and maybe this is postpartum depression but it doesn't change the fact this is horrible. My husband has been trying to console me but it doesn't help it that he no longer looks at me the same way…

No. 94301

>>94300
I'm sorry anon. I sort of know how you feel. PPD hit me pretty hard too. Just remember that everything will get better in time, depending on how you manage it. You can eat healthier, or start working out when the kid is napping maybe? If you aren't already doing that. But if you got stretchmarks, nothing will really help those, still you can defo tighten your stomach back up. I'm here if you need to talk about shitty mom stuff…

No. 94303

File: 1464267927933.jpg (5.26 KB, 384x131, images.jpg)

>>94300

Is the tummy tuck route out of the question? If you have an aversion to scars, definitely check out carboxytherapy (picture related). It won't solve the problem completely but it will help dramatically.

No. 94328

>>94300
Hang in there anon. My sister had triplets and had to work her ass off to get back into shape, but her body is bangin now. Take some time for yourself, let the husband babysit for a while and just keep soldering on. You've nothing to lose.

No. 94400

This is just purely a vent but I only have like 3 real friends back in my hometown and I was gathering up my courage to tell the closest one that my ex, who used to be his friend, abused me and that's why I go quiet whenever the ex is mentioned etc I had been working up to it for a while because I want to be able to be honest to them about why I won't go out shopping in my home town alone and stuff.
But on the day we were meant to hang out they didn't message me, and I stupidly just kept waiting so by the time I contacted them it was getting really late and I had just headed to their house anyway. But they weren't even properly replying so I just said they should let me know if they weren't able to hang out and they replied they were just too busy. I said that was okay but didn't tell them that I was nearly at their house. There wasn't enough time left in the day for me to see anyone else or even my family and I had to just spend the next two hours alone until I caught my train to my new city.
I've sent them stupid internet stuff since and had no response. On one hand I'm weirded out that I have to go back to psyching myself up to tell them the thing, but on the other hand I have this insecure fear that the reason that they bailed on me and aren't talking to me is because we just aren't as close as I thought and I just feel too weird about the whole thing now to even keep sending them unanswered messages.
Venting.

No. 94421

>>94400
Jesus anon, that's pretty fucked up of them. Even if they were busy with something they should've at least let you know since you were in town and expecting to see them. It's not like you can just pop on by any time. And now they're ignoring you? I don't want to make you feel worse, or make you more paranoid, but do you think it's possible your ex has told them some lies to make them not like you? I only ask because something similar happened to me. I moved out town after a messy break-up and my ex was going around sabotaging my reputation behind my back to everyone I used to know. I got treated like a pariah by them for a while but I was lucky enough that one of them asked me if what he was saying was true.

No. 94470

File: 1464359744371.jpg (20.26 KB, 250x448, slimbutbuff.jpg)

I'm in my first relationship and I've found out very, very quickly that I am just a shitty girlfriend. That's not from any self esteem shit. I am objectively a bad partner, and in general a bad friend. I don't think I'm a bad person but I'm selfish in that if I don't feel like talking to people, I just won't. Half of it is because nobody wants to talk to me so I don't want to bother anyone and the other half is that I'd rather watch movies or sleep than call my friends that need support.

My boyfriend is somehow more insecure than I am and it quite honestly pisses me off. It shouldn't. I should be supporting him. But instead I find myself getting angry and holding myself back from telling him to shut the fuck up. All he does is apologize for the tiniest things. Right now he's apologizing for making me wait 30 minutes. Do I give a fuck? No. I make him wait sometimes, too, and he says "take your time" so you'd think since I don't apologize profusely and have a mental breakdown every time it takes me 20 minutes longer to get ready, that he would understand I don't give a fuck.

He's also insecure about his body which does genuinely make me LIVID. I wish I could post a picture of his body, instead here is a pic of someone with an extremely similar body type. When he talks about how ugly he is it makes me want to cry and it makes me want to leave him sometimes, because I cannot handle a second person's insecurities. My boyfriend is objectively a very handsome and good looking person, anyone would agree that he is an attractive person. Meanwhile I really AM an ugly person. I went from very fat to starving myself to gaining back the weight. There has never been a time in my entire life that I've worked out consistently. My body isn't the worst out there, but my bmi is like 23 right now with a high body fat percentage. He is the settler and I am the reacher, it's painfully obvious if you are an outsider looking in, so it makes me fucking angry when he pushes his insecurities on to me.

I've told him many, many times over the years that I am a crazy bitch. I hate everything about myself. I CANNOT handle my own self loathing on top of another person's self loathing. As a friend I could be there for him, I could comfort him. As a girlfriend it's now my fucking job to make him feel good about himself all the time and it's stressful as hell.

I really love him, but I also want to slap him across the face until he grows the fuck up.

Anyway, just an extremely selfish and trashy ramble. I had to get that off my chest before I explode.

No. 94478

File: 1464363038787.jpg (39.39 KB, 900x900, Angry_pepe.jpg)

i hate my friends and my cousin

whenever i mention my bf's penis size to my friends/cousin they always go ''gasp thats so small'' or ''he wont be able to give you pleasure'' (we're doing ldr) etc etc
and it fucking PISSES ME OFF
it pisses me off the most because his dick is 5.5' so its nowhere near small

are my friends and cousin just sluts? how is that small? how do i react to them offending my bf?
do i just not tell anybody my bf's size?

No. 94479

>>94478

It's too small. You should leave him.

No. 94480

>>94479
nice one m8

No. 94484

File: 1464365673466.png (87.77 KB, 900x580, 1464123722087.png)

Man people are just so cruel, wish I wasn't such an oversensitive little bitch.

No. 94485

>>94478
that seems average tbh

girth for average is like 5 as well
>>94470
seems just like first relationship problems

his body issues should go away after a while, its generally because guys never hear compliments about themselves or very rarely so he has the issues.

as for you you're not crazy just stressed, better to talk even just a tiny bit.

as for working out honestly just do very small changes, nothing insane or drastic, drink more water, try some fruit as a snack rather than chocolate etc

its small changes and sticking to them and more to do with discipline rather than motivation

No. 94486

>>94478
Why would you speak with others about your bf's penis size in the first place? Might be a cultural thing but isn't this is supposed to be something private where you are from too? I feel bad for your bf. How would you feel if he discussed the size of your inner labia with his friends and even relatives?

No. 94487

File: 1464366538754.jpg (49.31 KB, 640x640, taysmug.jpg)

>>94478
Why are you telling your cousin about your bfs dick?

No. 94489

>>94486
>>94487
i havent discussed it in a while bc i realised it was dumb. but they still sometimes mention it and it annoys me.
we just talk about sex and stuff and thats how those things come up? im very close to my cousin shes like a friend to me

No. 94507

I'm not 100% sure, but I think a bylaw in my area about air conditioners and where/how they're installed is being enforced in my area. It means no window/overhang units including the tube or pipe AC units. I have a gorgeously fluffy rabbit who can't live without AC, and I'm scared I'll have to give him up for adoption in his last legs of life.

No. 94532

Was waiting fucking 4 months for an ENT appointment that got pushed back 3 times and I just went to my letterbox and there was a letter from the hospital saying my appointment had been given an earlier date…. this morning at 9:45.

I am SO FUCKING PISSED because now I'm gong home for the Summer and will have to wait until I'm back at university to see the specialist WHO KEEPS SENDING ME THROUGH FUCKING CONSULTATIONS WHEN HE'S ALREADY SAID I NEED THE SURGERY FOR FUCKS SAKE PUT ME ON THE WAITING LIST ALREADY AND STOP DICKING ME AROUND

No. 94544

My mother treats me like an autistic, inbred, low IQ dumbass. I'm not really sure why she feels so superior because she's a country fuck who believes technology is ruining the world and says stupid shit on a daily basis. She shares shitposts on Facebook that a .5 second Google search would prove is not true (think the status about your icon turning blue if you repost it so you can remain a "free user.")

No. 94906

I'm super drunk right now and I fear that I'll have to get drunk every time this shit happens
I'm sick of living with my emotionally abusive mother. Her mother's recent death has taken a huge toll on her, and I've been as supportive as I can be, but she keeps complaining that I'm distant and have a "low emotional intelligence", and says that I'm so unemotional. I only act like this because I've been raised to think that if I bring up my opinion or do anything wrong at all, I'll be punished for it. I'd cry when I'd been confronted with something, and over the years I've cried only seldom, even when I'm by myself. I'm now an emotional husk unless I confront myself on how fucked i am
The biggest worry I had when I was at my grandma's funeral was if I was crying enough or not, and apparently that fear's been fulfilled by my mother, as she said that I hardly cried at all for her. I'm probbly gonna get drunk right before I go to my psych so I can just spill all the ebans and stop skirting around my own issues
Fuck my fucking life famalam

No. 94921

I'm so sick and tired of being an incompetent fuck. I was sheltered and pampered growing up and as a result I'm a retard at life. I'm in my early 20s and literally just learned how to properly use a key today. It's so obvious every time I go out with friends that I'm an idiot and I'm amazed that anyone even wants to hang out with me.

No. 94924

>>94921
You had to be taught how to use a key? How the hell did you think they worked?

No. 94929

>>94924
I had no clue how to remove the key afterward. You're supposed to turn it clockwise into the initial position and remove. Dumbass me just kept jiggling the thing around until it came out.

No. 94951

>>94921
hey, are you me?
i was the baby in the family so my parents spoiled me compared to how they raised my older sibling.
as soon as i turned 16 shit stopped and i was immediately thrown into doing things for myself.
whenever i asked for them to show me how to do mundane chores i was told off for being an idiot.
i'm almost 20 now and i still feel like a fucking pleb. i can take care of myself now but i still lack some common sense in certain areas. it's so frustrating.

No. 95160

File: 1464620308889.jpeg (73.16 KB, 960x520, image.jpeg)

Ok. I have a few things to vent about; they're not super horrible like other anon's stories, but I just need to vent. And maybe a little advice.

I'm 18 years old and all I can seem to get with is fucking losers. I'm not ugly, and I'd like to think above average at least, but I am not… Beautiful? More like cute. So there are no guys outside of an anime convention who like me irl, especially since I'm shy and quiet. The problem is that all the dudes who hound me at conventions and online are seriously ugly. I can't find myself attracted to any of them, just completely repulsed. Even then, there aren't a lot of guys I find attractive in general. I'm so damn picky but my options are limited. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually a lesbian because I admire girls and want to speak, hang out, and do everything with pretty much exclusively girls. I just don't like the idea of talking to guys because I always feel like they're trying to get into my pants. It's just I don't feel like anyone would be comfortable around me anymore if I was a lesbian.

I'm still a virgin and I'm wondering if I should just keep it that way and become a nun. Or see if that 30 year old virgin→ wizard thing applies to girls too.

Second problem is that I'm a massive loner. My other two best friends seem to be able to make so many new friends whatever school they move to or where they go, whereas I just seem to be the most awkward person in the universe or constantly being dealt a shit hand.

For example: my best friend and I go to the same training school. I'm really artistic but I know there's no career in art, so I'm just doing a makeup and hairdressing course and pondering whether to go into SFX/tv/film makeup, beauty therapy, or graphic design/media(again) next year. My friend is determined to be a midwife and she knows what she's doing. As soon as she moves into her class she has a class full of people the same age, friendly and gender mixed with similar interests. My class is 99% party girls who are clique-y, two years younger than me, and are all basically socially capable. Then there's one koreaboo and a chubby girl who's still in the 2000's and has extremely severe anxiety. There's a couple of very normal and average looking girls who are really nice but are the type who hang off groups. I'm used to staying by myself as a weeaboo with minimal interests outside of almost anything not weird, and most years I ended up having to survive by myself because of that and friends moving schools all the time.

It's hard to get close to the koreaboo even though I think she would be a good friend, because she's really still super closed off, even this late in the year. I ended up being friends with the chubby girl because the teacher asked me to; she can be good but it's hard because it can be really one sided.

The weird thing is that the other girls try to include me, namely two. Like I understand and I like to get along, but it's just so weird because we are nothing alike. I have nothing to talk about. I don't know any boys, I don't go to parties, I don't drink, etc, so what do I even say? I do try, though. Chubby girl just seems to mumble and do nothing when asked questions. I can carry a normal conversation and stuff, but it's just not really working. The other girls always seem to be fighting anyway.

No. 95162

>>94921
your parents might have pampered you but the key thing has nothing to do with it. it's something you should be able to figure out by intuition. ever got checked for adhd and/or autism?

also blaming your parents for being a shitty adult is the first thing you have to overcome if you want to stop acting retarded.

in this age with youtube, wikihow and dozens of forums explaining basically everything there's no excuse for being bad at life. you don’t even have to go to the library to figure shit out.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130815123943AAbkQRd

No. 95163

>>95160
>see if that 30 year old virgin→ wizard thing applies to girls too.

It's called being a spinster, anon. Or "old maid."

No. 95164

>>95160
I'm kinda similar anon. I'm and outcast and, despite not being into anime or videogames,
>>95163
Witch would probably be the more appropriate equivalent.

No. 95165

File: 1464622369578.jpg (981.25 KB, 1594x1594, IMG_20151022_200806.jpg)

>>95160

hmm sounds a little like me at 18. you've defined yourself so narrowly, it severely limits your options. you feel confined, yet you feel cozy in your cage because you've made it your identity. consider this: if all the normie girls in your class suddenly got into anime, would you be happy about that? now you have something in common, but now YOU are common.

your boy problem is just.. adorable.
> all i can seem to get with is (sic) fucking losers
> anime
> conventions

No. 95166

>>95164
sorry, my mouse pad was being an asshole. Was pretty much saying that despite not having weeby/dorky interests, I seem to attract those kind of people as well.

No. 95167

>>95160
Have you ever thought you're exaggerating how good looking you are?

I'm average looking and I still get hit on now and again, not often admittedly.

>Koreaboo friend


I can tell you're young because you think it's a good idea to make friends with someone based on superficial interests. Trust me, it isn't. Most people into nerdy stuff, especially stuff like K-Pop and Japanese fashion or what have you, are fucking obnoxious and annoying.

No. 95168

>>95167
>Most people into nerdy stuff, especially stuff like K-Pop and Japanese fashion or what have you, are fucking obnoxious and annoying.

true dat, not to mention, they are usually socially fucking retarded, which means you spend more time _trying_ to be their friend than actually being their friend. Save the niche-interest friends for online forums.

No. 95174

File: 1464624141686.jpg (42.03 KB, 920x459, tnV3R1c.jpg)

Bleh.. I met this woman a couple months ago online. We had a pretty good email thing going on and would exchange lengthy letters daily, talking about our lives and observations. We started getting a little closer and flirting gently.

Now she's responding to my page-length emails with a few sentences. It's not that she is bored with me, in fact she will write to me if I go more than two days without writing "Whats wrong? haven't heard from you!" and guilt me into a long letter.

Basically she is doing that fucked up shit that some women have done my whole life. They try to push you away with self-deprecation and minimal conversation while at the same time acting super distraught if you DO slowly leave using that as a confirmation like "see i told you you'd get sick of me"

these days i have no time for this kind of shit and typically i'll just nope the fuck out of there, but this one caught me off guard and i do care for her so here i go, letting her be my emotional vampire.

hey, at least she hasn't threatened suicide, amirite?

No. 95176

>>95174

dump that bitch and find something better to do lmao

No. 95178

File: 1464625636282.jpg (62.12 KB, 396x691, 1464220107890.jpg)

i literally have no other friends than my boyfriend and im so lonely because he never spends time with me. if im lucky he'll game with me for about 45 minutes at night. for the past 3 weeks we havent spent any quality time together or gone anywhere and i feel so dumb and lonely. i know im a loser, i've been one ever since i moved here but now it stings. he's busy smoking pot 3-4 times a day and won't stop. not to mention it's taking a lot out of his bank account, and since we're both 18 we have like no fucking money.
if he does pay attention to me he just wants to fuck and it's so tiring because im never horny and we never do any foreplay or spend time together and kiss or whatever to build up a sexual tension.
his weed smoking is actually repulsing to me now. I used to smoke but i've pretty much completely stopped for over half a year. his breath smells like shit, he acts so stupid and honestly? it feels like im baby sitting a child, though he is a pretty big manchild.
i just wish he would stop playing smash all the time with his friends and maybe do something with me since it's the summer. he never wants to go run or workout with me either so he looks like a fucking skinny beta. (this is probably gonna sound bitchy but he has a super fast metabolism and doesnt have the best self esteem regarding his body so i try to offer to run with him or workout so he can make #gains or w/e.. he's lazy too the least he could do is basic exercise or running to keep healthy..)

this is probably stupid and pointless but i needed to write it out. I want attention.. I want long conversations about anything and everything. I want to go outside and do stuff with him but he just smokes weed all the time despite me telling him i dislike it.
I shouldn't control him anyways but he does it excessively and has been smoking since he was 16. He doesn't even really get high anymore, he treats that shit like cigarettes. he pisses me off a lot too he's so clumsy and again, does dumb shit because he's high.
i always hear "after this, im going on a break" and it never fucking happens. I think he's said it like 7 times since march and i wish he would just stfu and not say it because all i expect from his is disappointment. there's literally no reason to expect him to stick to his word.
Yesterday, since we haven't done anything in literally 3 weeks i asked him to come over after work so we could go somewhere and he spends 2 hours smoking weed with his friends before coming over. i just made him leave me alone because he can't do anything i ask.
maybe im just a bitch idk. I would love to feel like i'm in a 2 and a half year relationship again though.

No. 95180

>>95178
that's rough. did you move somewhere to be with him and that's why you have no other friends?

one thing that really stood out to me in your post is you never once mentioned anything positive about your relationship. no good memories of "how it was" or anything at all that you like about the way it is now. think about that.

he sounds like every 18 year old male I've ever known. expecting him to change right now is foolish. get some local friends for support!

No. 95209

File: 1464641966278.png (79.61 KB, 240x240, tumblr_static_e70afsqsobccoogs…)

>>95180

i thought it'd be useless to mention "The good times" as it would have been too much to write. our relationship has really good patches and really shitty ones. this is another one of the shitty ones. it's usually when he smokes weed too. when he's on a tolerance break he's much more tolerable and actually does shit like homework and activities.
our relationship started off ldr and actually he moved to where i lived because he lived on a shitty reserve. we had a mutual friend here and the few sort of 'friends' i had are all his friends now. they were all guys tho and like half the group had liked me at one point or another so you could see why there'd be no long term strong friendship there :^)
(he only ever hangs out irl with his friends to smoke weed to, it's kind of annoying to see that he never goes out to do something productive or something normal like go see a movie or hang out at the mall or something normie idk).

local friends is kind of hard to get when theyve all been friends since they were 5 years old and again, i don't have much in common with them. all the girls i talk to online that play games are all american too. and im pretty autistic irl when it comes to socializing with girls my age.

it's true he doesn't change. i sometimes consider ending it but then i'd be even lonelier and he's a good guilt tripper. once the rough patch is over though it's usually super great and i'm happy again.

so maybe there's no point in me bitching but idk where else to say it, i just needed to let it out i guess. I wish he was more romantic and sweet and considerate. I'm trying to improve myself as a person since i'm legally and adult now and idk if im just being too big of a bitch or if my boyfriend is just kind of shitty. i guess it's my own fault for not taking the bus and going somewhere but i feel awkward when doing anything other than shopping alone. i just wish he'd be motivated and encourage me to go places or go outside with him. he's…… lazy honestly.

it honestly feels like he doesn't consider my feelings? he just goes "oh well she's told me she dislikes this and we've fought over this subject a few times but, kekek!!! time to smoke more weed :^)"

honestly i'm prob just not gonna give him sex until he straightens up and maybe that'll motivate him to stop acting 15 for like 2 weeks. sorry if this was stupid to read.. maybe im just emotionally down, or maybe it is affecting me idk.

No. 95229

>>95209
ehh it's a vent thread. no judgement. hopefully by typing all that out it will get you to think about your situation objectively. i can tell you that what you are going through is very normal becoming-an-adult shit. This is one of your first grown up relationships. Just keep in mind you will have many others, and don't let this one cause you too much distress. You'll be ok.

No. 95251

File: 1464656691616.png (327.23 KB, 512x720, image.png)

>>95165

It's not really an issue with the normie girls, it's an issue with myself. I don't expect them not really want them to suddenly like anime or whatever, because not only would that be out of character and weird but most people I meet who like anime are fucking autismos. This probably includes myself, since my interests are so limited to stupid shit, and I'm so embarassed about it I can't even discuss what I like to anyone who isn't the internet or my best friends.

I did cert III media last year, and the class was full of dorky boys and a special two extreme weeaboo guys who were two parts of one neckbeard. One was a fat hobbit with the hairiest feet I've ever seen and obsessed with Pokemon, the other was a ginger fedora wearer who was obsessed with Eminem and his waifus, and used to bring in traced anime art everyday and ruin every group project with his sword art online figurines. They both were the type to become school shooters; the fat one had a lot of autism episodes that made me not want to come to school the next time, just in case.

So basically, I was extremely glad to have a class of normies who were all girls. But ever since they all started constantly fighting I feel like I can't talk to any of them without getting another girl mad.

They're all 16 and I feel like all they really are nice to me for is that they feel bad for me, and just in case they want me to buy their cigarettes for them. It's like a couple girls make a halfway effort to talk to me, then instantly forget.

No. 95298

>>94013
Take your testosterone, I think you're attributing every personality change you're experiencing to the news of your condition, rather than the fact that your hormone balance is likely out of whack right now and affecting your mood.

No. 95299

>>94470
Allowing yourself insecurities but not your bf sounds like a dick move tbh, did it occur to you that he finds you attractive despite your insecurities in the same way that you do about him?
Also aside from personal insecurities, sounds like you're insecure about the perceived difference in attractiveness levels and taking it out on him in the form of not leaving any room for him to feel insecure, which is completely unfair to him, especially if he doesn't seem to care about 'settlers and reachers' and dates you regardless. None of this should be news to you since you already said you're a shit gf though.

No. 95301

>>95229
>have many others
>advocating serial monogamy

Stahp.

No. 95433

File: 1464710194116.gif (3.63 MB, 500x281, 83.gif)

My whole apartment building only has two dryer machines and I've been walking downstairs twice an hour for 6 hours only to see them constantly in use and it drives me up the fucking wall. Now one of them is stopped but there's a bunch of dry clothes in it still and it's taking only my last bit of sanity I have left to keep me from flinging them all over the room.

No. 95440

>>95433
Complain to the apartment management. It's bullshit for them to only have two when most standard complexes have at least 4-6.

No. 95453

>>95440
I'm moving to a new place soon so I don't think it will be a problem much longer.
I also shouldn't be complaining since my rent has been cheap. There's just nothing that annoys me more than going up and down two flights of stairs over and over while my wet clothes become mildewed.

No. 95482

I feel like,with my mom, no matter how hard I ty she’s gonna be unhappy. I try to loose weight for military,but cutting down and exercise,I also try to find a better job because my current it crappy. She has seen and has takn me to interviews,and I constantly…everyday send in applications. She knows theres barely jobs here. I do alot around the house and everytime I hear the grage I get a bit nervous because she’s always upset about something. I never asked to be here(literally.) I probably won’t have phone service which means a job who saw my application won’t be able to reach me,and jobs barely email. I’m really sick of this and I’m trying my best to get out.

No. 95484

I have so many things happening in my life recently. I got married last year (I'm 25). I'm trying to finish up graduate school this fall but it's a big stressful mess. We are moving to our first apartment together in just like ~2 months. And my husband just got a job offer that is actually really good and can keep us afloat until I graduate and get a full time job.

I am so worried all of this will fall to pieces though. I'm worried I'm going to flunk my capstone project. I'm worried I won't be able to get a non-shit job when I graduate. I'm worried this job offer my husband got is too good to be true and won't come through. I'm worried the apartment were moving to isn't gonna work out. Ugh. I'm so stressed, I can barely sleep lately. I don't handle change very well and this is like… everything changing all at once and it is so hard for me to handle.

No. 95693

Just sent a FB friend request to a guy I really like. My fucking anxiety, I'm so scared he'll deny the request. I don't even want to check to see if the thing says "pending" or "+1"

No. 95746

File: 1464770473593.jpg (57.57 KB, 735x550, my-hopes-and-dreams-windows-tr…)

>dream is to become web designer
>poured heart and soul into website
>worked on it for months during free time
>hear that it's unprofessional and looks like it was made in Word
>tfw they're probably right

No. 95771

>>95746
Maybe you shouldn't do big projects like this if you're a beginner?
Learn the ropes, do little projects, read books, watch e-learning video.
Don't give up. You just need to work more. Sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something.

No. 95795

>seen
Nothing worse than that feeling after someone doesn't respond and you know you'll probably never talk to them again.

No. 95812

File: 1464800316841.jpg (75.86 KB, 736x620, whoreslut.jpg)

MLP
This show was never, EVER meant to have nasty hetro sluts, the only reason so many disgusting male characters get introduced is so sick fucking adult men can self insert and wank their hairy weeners.

I like mlp because it's an innocent girl cartoon. I love the innocents and beauty of a child, God loves children. I loved watching the previous generations of mlp for the reasons I mentioned. First season of FIM was pure, it had no characters who were both adult and male aside from very few (like big mac), but I could just ignore those episodes.

Second season? BAM. Disgusting fucking sick ass shipping material STALIANS. Even that fucking word pisses me off, it's so disgusting. I love watching and jerking off to mlp, but I'm not a fucking faggot who jerks it to BUCKS. GOD HATES FAGGOTS. I want no adult male ponies. I don't care if they have to breed, they can figure something out.

Everyday I get cucked by other men. I see them walking around with beautiful women I can never have. I watch MLP to escape the reality of my pathetic existence, and what do I see? My favorite characters are fucking whores, just like the whores I see out of the streets. I look at these male characters and I know that they must have lustful urges towards my waifus. They MUST, after all, they are ADULT MEN. By making a character adult and male, you are admitting to the audience that said character is a sick fucking adulterer who wants to fuck the pure virginal female characters. Why the fuck are you introducing this sexual perversion on children's programing?

Mr. and Mrs. cake have a fucking baby. That means that these cartoon characters FUCK. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOUR CUTE PONIES HAVING SEX. THIS IS A KIDS SHOW. KEEP THE PONIES PURE, THEY HAVE MAGIC THERE ARE OTHER WAY TO REPRODUCE THAT DON'T INVOLVE FILLING THE STRONG FEMALE ROLE MODELS WITH DISGUSTING MALE BODILY FLUIDS.

Men have urges, and that's why I hate them. I hate their disgusting body hair and their need to fuck woman I desire. Seeing them on a girls show fills me with rage. The whole reason I ever liked MLP is because the female cast remained pure.

No. 95813

I started a job selling jewelry to Chinese tourists. None of them speak English and I have no idea what to do.

Most of them are frumpy old people who can't really behave but somehow have shitloads of money to spend.

What the fuck should I do? If CG or any other Chinese anons are here, any tips? I don't know these people's background.

No. 95814

>>95812
>Love jerking off to MLP
>But the show implying that ponies have sex is not okay

Get your life together, for fuck's sake.

No. 95815

>>95812
Troll? 10/10

No. 95826

File: 1464808767392.jpg (31.05 KB, 486x368, chanel_logo.jpg)

>>95813
Speaking as a chink, you should grow eyes on the back of your head. You don't become rich in China without stepping on 1 billion other people.

99% of rich Chinese are also new money. An apt comparison is some trailer trash who won the lottery and now has more $$$ than they know what to do with (esp the older generation). Yet still stingy as fuck.

Because of that, many have absolutely no taste and fashion sense, and buy expensive shit primarily to one-up their peers. They'll buy something expensive if it has a brand-name logo they can show off to their friends.
>Hey, look at my garish and expensive Chanel(tm) logo earrings!

No. 95827

File: 1464809216507.jpg (40.92 KB, 500x294, 1433714760152.jpg)

>>95812
>a man being jealous of hetero ships in a cartoon because he gets cucked irl and wants to fap

Ohhhhhhhh I wanna berieve!!

No. 95829

File: 1464811332388.gif (430.21 KB, 400x250, tumblr_inline_npjb9tZXGM1tsusi…)

1)
I'm stuck in a loop, sort of. A lot of people are telling me to start cooking, which I DO want. However, the problem is; I have nothing to cook. Literally. Our fridge is most of the time empty. No eggs, veggies, fruit, spices or anything. Only maybe flour and oil. Everything that is bought is used in the same day.
Whenever I tell this someone they tell me to "just get a job" (which I'm trying to do) or change the subject. Ugggh… I guess I'll have to veg my mother to buy food so I can try to cook. I can already hear her complain.

2)
I'm terrified of driving. I passed all my test and got my license but I'm scared to drive on my own. The instructors car has extra breaks etc which gave me some security. Our car obviously doesn't. My anxiety is over the roof the second I sit behind the wheel. I'm not afraid to die or something, I'm afraid of accidentally damaging someone else car or god forbid hurt them.
My mother is he only one who knows how to drive and she's absolute shit at explaining stuff, not to mention fucking passive agressive. Insted of explaining stuff on time she says what I need to do few seconds before and if I don't she calls me stupid or yells etc etc etc.
I haven't been behind the wheel for a whole year now…

These are the only two things that I need to fix right now so my life could get better but everything just keeps repeating over and over. Same convos almost every day with the same outcomes….fml

No. 95833

File: 1464816536709.png (39.49 KB, 819x407, Screenshot (1).png)

It makes me really sad when people say stuff like this. I know I shouldn't be bothered by what people say on the internet, especially when they're probably trolling– but it still hurts. It hurts to know that the mistakes I made when I was 16 will continue to haunt me forever. It hurts to know that every single person I meet will judge me and think I'm disgusting and mentally ill and not worth being around, just because of something stupid I did years and years ago. Every time I think I can wear short sleeves or short pants, I remember the evil comments people have made to me and put on a jacket instead.

I've been looking up scar reduction surgery because of this. I can't stand being a freak anymore.

Does anyone else struggle with self-harm? Even with just having to deal with the scars from it, ten years after the fact?

No. 95841

>>95833
I have keloid scars from when id cut myself (those are even more obvious imo) and im currently getting it removed. I had a scar like this removed before but it was caused by an injection.

No. 95860

>>95827
Even if it is bait that's spot on to how neckbeards think.

No. 95868

>>95833

Anon look into derma rolling.
It has no cost apart from the single purchase of the roller, you can do it at home, and it actually works. It won't make your scars vanish completely but it will make a big difference to the appearance over time.

No. 95871

>>95868
I heard it works for stretchmarks too, which is why I'm considering getting it. It seems so expensive, though and I'm not sure if it'll work or not. It worked on your scars?

No. 95873

>>94507
Found out I'll probably keep the rabbit and my room, and the AC - not gonna lie, I cried a bit. The lady running this place understood completely, I'm so lucky they're going to file my AC under "professionally installed". Fuck yessssssssss fingers crossed

No. 95876

>>95871

Expensive? Anon I'm not sure what it is you're looking at but you buy a derma roller for like, £8, and you do it yourself. You don't need to pay anybody to do it, although people do advertise these services.

And yeah I use one on my stretchmarks and it's made a very big difference over 2 years. Mine were very deep, like ridges, and although they're not still perfect and will never be perfect, they're a hell of a less visible, and the texture has smoothed out a lot, but you need to be consistent with the sessions.

No. 95880

File: 1464855116959.jpg (80.72 KB, 540x435, n3vbwEN.jpg)

Boyfriend is making me feel shit for not wanting to wear makeup anymore

I used to wear it even when id go to a store but i recently stopped because i realised it makes me feel shit. I look shit with natural makeup and with the makeup i usually wear i change my eyeshape completely and i just look like a different person.
I told him id still wear it if we go out somewhere fancy but i dont want to wear it most of the time because its not helping my insecurities.
Instead, he asked me today if im trying to be a feminist because i stopped wearing make up
He makes me feel shit and like im letting myself go. I dont. I have pretty even skin tone and such, its just i have very bad eyebags. I sure dont look pretty but i know i look average which is…not bad, right?

It really hurts me and i wish he would accept it but i guess he projects it as me not giving a fuck about my appearance anymore.

No. 95881

>>95880

Why are you dating garbage.
Next time he asks you or mentions it, enquire as to why he's not wearing makeup then. If even so much as utters anything related to it being a "woman's role", fucking dump him then and there. Ridiculous.

No. 95882

>>95881
I told him that already and he said if guys wore makeup he would wear it. Im meeting his mum soon and he explained to me that he just doesnt want me to give a bad impression of myself when i meet her. Haha.

No. 95884

>>95882

Ask him what's wrong with him being the first to start? He can initiate a revolution!

No. 95885

>>95880
That's fucking dégoûtant mate. No bf should make you feel like shit. Do you know what his mother's like? If she seems chill you should jokingly mention the makeup thing, she'll set him straight.
Did you always wear makeup before? Fact is, he might not like how you look now, in which case you should find someone who does.

No. 95888

>>95882
I'm sorry anon, but it's time to bin that one. If him and his mother are really so put off by something as innocuous as not wearing make-up, you're better off without them.

No. 95889

>>95880
>i recently stopped because i realised it makes me feel shit.

Been there. Fucking been there. I was like you anon, I used to wear make up every day and I stopped because the more I painted my face the more I noticed its flaws, the shittier and the more insecure I felt, also all the fucking time lost. Couldn't paint the ugliness of my soul I guess.

No. 95890

>>95882
But some guys do wear make up, lol… Not the kind of eyeliner, lipstick and such obviously, but in fact stuff like corrector and concealer and such to slightly improve their faces.

No. 95895

>>95815
>>95827
I'm actually no a troll, just a massive loser. The reason I like MLP is because there is no sex and no relationships. IRL woman are whores, but these ponies are pure. That's why I like to jerk off while watching the show. I feel horrible and disgusted with myself after I do it, but I can't stop myself. I'm a disgusting human male after all, and whether I like it or not, my balls fill up with sperm. I would rather ease my discomfort to something pure, It's better than wanking it to pictures of literal whores and man whores exchanging fluids like dirty animals. MLP is cute, clean, and pure. Keep the dick wielding scum out of it.
>>95814
Except the difference here is that I jerk of in my own apartment. I don't boast about the testosterone that my testicles produce in from of LITTLE GIRLS like this show does. The way the male characters display traits that are typical of human males is disgusting, pony reproduction should not mimic human reproduction. I watch MLP to escape the disgusting nature of human reproduction, not to watch the male characters cuck me. Another thing that pissed me off is how, in the baby cakes episode, the mane six knew that Mr. and Mrs. cake had sex, but they were completely okay with it. They were confronted with damning evidence that someone they know and love had sex, and they could not give two shits. It would have been different if they had been asking where the baby came from, but they didn't. They knew damn well how they produced those babies. Fucking sick. Am I supposed to jerk it to my imagination now?

No. 95911

I think I've posted about it here before, but I've done it again. I can't watch any TV shows/movies unless I know it's going to be a complete hugfest because I get triggered by anything even vaguely depressing. I wanted to watch A Single Man for the aesthetics, and after laughing inappropriately at the ending, I immediately started crying, and have been on a low for 2 days. Pathetic.

I'm just going to stay in my lane and watch slice of life animes and children's cartoons, fuck this shit.

No. 95930

>>95895
Boy, I'd hate to see your reaction to Cadence and Shining Armor's baby.

No. 95946

File: 1464882898459.gif (750.28 KB, 500x235, giphy (1).gif)

>>95895
> IRL woman are whores, but these ponies are pure.

Are you positive you aren't a troll? Not even a little bit? Even a tiiiiiiiny bit?

No. 95949

>>95895
Tbh Horses do the dirty doo IRL.

No. 95955

File: 1464886170513.jpg (80.51 KB, 500x375, 621.jpg)

>>95895
I feel like the best solution is for you to kill yourself, honestly.

No. 95957

>>95880
Anyone who gets on a girl for not wearing makeup is literal trash. People are not born and expected to wear it, You choose to wear it willingly. If he doesn't like it, dump him.

I never understood the big deal. A large percentage of people don't wear makeup because it's time consuming, expensive and can damage your skin if you wear all the damn time.

No. 95958

File: 1464886475109.gif (682.82 KB, 500x282, anigif_enhanced-buzz-3087-1424…)

>>95882
Guys do wear makeup. Makeup isn't gender exclusive… They wear it all over Asian (foundation, concealer)
And most musicians do it as well. This guy sounds like a real piece of shit.

>bad impression


If his mom doesnt like you because you're bare faced, she's a cunt. You need to escape now.

No. 95959

>>95868
I second this, anon. Dermarollers are inexpensive and a godsend. They do work if you use them a few times a week. I use them on my old acne scars (on my face) and saw a difference after a few months.

No. 95969

>be in ldr
>working at the same place over the summer
>so excited to be in the same country again and be able to spend weekends togther
>dead week at uni, not feeling ready for finals
>really stressing over ever little thing, self confidence taking a nose dive for no apperent reason
>messaging bf a lot for support and being a sappy fuck because I miss him
>bf has chronic disease and trying new meds
>nothing is working
>got admitted to the hospital this morning
>welp
Just really hoping they'll work out something to help him. He's the one traveling this summer so I'm really worried the trip will be too much and he won't be able to get medical help if he needs it here. It's only two weeks until his flight and I just want to see him again.
>he's still super supportive and sending me sweet messages from the hospital
>I don't deserve this wonderful human

No. 95975

>>95969
Even if you do break up, you made a huge difference in his life. You showed another human so much compassion when they needed it the most. You touched his heart, even if he isn't ready to get help, but you made a difference. Make sure you don't tie your own self esteem to them, but you can absolutely help someone lift themselves up even if you aren't perfect. You were here, and you helped someone. That matters.

No. 95981

File: 1464894095674.jpeg (47.6 KB, 640x387, image.jpeg)

>dad hasn't called me in like a week
>starts calling me through facebook
>annoyed but I try and pick up
>hangs up on me instead
>get a voice message where i can hear his new girlfriend and her little son and they're all bonding together
why can't I have normal parents ffs

No. 95983

>>95981
Sorry to hear that, anon. You'll be okay.

OT but that damn scene with Bowie always reminds me of the fact you can see his penis for a few seconds. Dammit, I still miss Bowie. I'm in denial.

No. 96056

I love you. I fell in love with you when I hugged you and listened to your heart beat. I think you are perfect in every way. I hope I don't mess this up because I don't feel good enough for you and I'm scared other people don't think I'm good enough, either.

I hope one day you'll love me the same way.

No. 96058

>only one supermarket that's open after 9 pm here
>go there to buy some snacks and cigarettes
>there's always this old guy clerk there
>he's chatty as fuck and I'm a huge sperg
>"you do know that smoking is really really unhealthy right :)"
>he does this shit everytime I buy stuff
>"haha late night dinner, huh?" when I'm buying cup noodles or ice cream
>always fucking commenting
>super market uses a machine to dispense cigarettes
>choosing the brand I want
>"it dosent work, sorry ;)"
I don't believe you one bit, you old washed up faggot.

FUCK OFF AND LET ME AND MY UNHEALTHY HABITS BE

I seriously hate shit like this. Let me shop in peace, instead of giving me "advice" that I won't follow anyway. You're not gonna convert me, jesus fuck.

No. 96059

I'm pretty sure my mother just witnessed me masturbating and tried to turn around and pretend she didn't. Fucking awkward. My family is really weird about sexuality. They treat it as something shameful that should always be hidden. Well, I wish she would fucking knock so I have a chance to hide it at least.

No. 96060

Sorry for the long post, this is just going to be a constant rambling

For the first time in many years, it felt like I managed to crawl out of my depression. It lasted for about two days. I was exercising, drinking a lot of water, work was going okay, but now it feels like I'm slipping right back

I can't help but to fixate on all of the negative aspects of life.

I worry that my coworkers all think I'm autistic or stupid and that I'm not good enough to be there. I got a Saturday off this week, and although it's probably because it's going to be a bit slow, I can't help but to make up the worst reasons as to why I wasn't such as "they don't need me because I don't do a good job" or "I just get in the way and can't have me screwing up on our busiest shifts". That, and I'm just not making enough. I live with my girlfriend's parents and only work 20 hours a week and have classes all year long and my next summer class is about to start and I'm tired and it feels like I can never get enough done in a single day and I'm being selfish for feeling this way because I'm not trying hard enough and deserve to feel like garbage because I don't amount to anything

I'm afraid of even looking her parents in the eyes. I feel like a leech and I just want to move out but I'm so poor and useless, I don't know how I'm going to do it. i need to go to school, but I need to work but I can't fail or else I won't get any financial aide either and I don't make enough per paycheck to cover my tution on my own

My mom wouldn't want to help me, I sometimes wish I'd never had dated my girlfriend if I had known she'd be so upset about it. I thought she wouldn't care because she knew she was gay and I didn't even get the chance to announce it the way I had planned. She just got rid of me and it was all my fault for being so stupid and ignorant. It could have been so much easier if I just stuck to my studies and focused on work and I ended up ruining my life.

It wasn't even that bad at first, the gravity of the situation didn't really register for the first few months because I was paying rent and going to school and I got to spend the entire day with her, but I can't even drive. I couldn't walk to my old job anymore and had to quit and it took months before I could find another one and I'm no good at it. I'm almost positive my coworkers don't like me, I'm too quiet and awkward and I can't do anything right. The probably only hired me because I had experience and thought I could do well, but I used to work in the back, not with the customers. being around massive crowds all of the time puts me on edge and it's stupid to have so much anxiety about being around other people because I'm too old and shouldn't have these issues anymore. I should've gotten over them by now

Even though I do live with my girlfriend now, I feel so lonely. I don't have time to be by myself and recover, which might sound contradictory, but I can't cope with problems when I have no time to be alone. When I have problems, I can get over it or set them aside if I have time to think it over, but I always did that in my own room in my own company. That's the only way I know how to cope, but now I'm with another person all of the time. There is no being in a room alone when I want to be anymore, but it feels lonely when I don't even when she's still there.

she's very social and has plenty of friends and doesn't exactly need me the way that I feel I need her. She's all that I have anymore, but I don't understand how she could love me. I wasn't even her first choice, she only settled for me when her girlfriend moved. I'm no where near as good as she is, she only liked me because I was into dorky nonesense that I don't even have time, energy or enthusiasm for anymore. Her ex actually had a good personality and was pretty and interesting and im afraid I'm never going to be able to make her as happy as she did.

I have no talents or skills or any other redeeming quality. My whole plan before college and even back in high school was to play up my strengths to combat the fact that I'm not attractive physically. I know it's not the most important thing, but it was drilled into our heads in my family, so sometimes it feels that way.

I sometimes think things would be easier if I was better looking. like, if have more confidence and building relationships with other people would be easier. I don't even think I look human most of the time. There's not a single trait I can find that doesn't look aesthetically pleasing and knowing that other people see it every time I leave our room is devestating. Meeting eyes with my girlfriend, a very beautiful, talented and pleasant person to be around, knowing that she's looking right back at me feels like torture.

Im afraid of my rats dying someday because it feels like, even if they don't love me the same way that I love them, they don't see me the way that others do. I take care of them and they know they can rely on me. They feel safe and will always come when I call them, but they're getting much older now.

No. 96077

>>96058
You should totally wear headphones when you drop by there and ignore him. If he's going to be a rude cunt, you should be one right back.

No. 96086

>>95895
>IRL woman are whores, but these ponies are pure.

You fucking robots are hilarious. Fucking memes. Are you sure you are even real? Everytime I read one of your kind is so bad is hilarious, and I truly want to think you are fucking trolling.

No. 96096

>>95983
Every time I go into my husbando tag from last year and see then new pictures of him/pictures of him looking happy in general I cry a little inside

No. 96113

>>96060
Damn anon, I wish I could give you a hug. You sound so depressed! :( Is there any way you can see a counselor?

No. 96123

File: 1464984596335.jpg (29.75 KB, 576x521, FB_IMG_1463294971303.jpg)

I'm slowly going insane from loneliness, stress from eorkeork, shitty work hours and sexual frustration. I can't even look at myself in the mirror because I think I'm disgusting, feel like I'm gonna die all alone forgotten without achieving anything worthwhile. Our business got bankrupted couple of years ago and I'm working to keep my family afloat with my dad, my mom started having problems with her kidney, sister just doesn't give a fuck and goes out all day to have fun with her bf while I'm busting my ass at work, put school on hold for my family, all alone with no fucking support. I daydream about suicide everyday, I'm reaching my wits end I don't know what to fuck to do.

No. 96143

For fucks sake, I lack fucking self-discipline so much. I have so much shit to do but I don't feel like doing it most of the time. And to not feel guildy for not doing it I keep myself away from games or any other form of entertainment and in the way I just waste whole days doing nothing.

I'm sick of university and passive sitting and learning and exercises just for the sake of getting good at something, with no connection to the real world. I want something based on real world, I want to see fucking fruits of my work somewhere else than in my head and on the blackboard. Maybe some research.
I'm not in a mood to run from office to office and do fucktons of paperwork again to secure my place in university due to unusual circumstances.

I want some manual work or entertainment. I'm sick of boring, high end math and theory and forcing myself to think about stuff that I'll most likely never make use of. I want to sit with a knife on a fucking tree or wall or whatever and carve dicks, boats, spikes, vehicles, animals and characters in wood. I want to have time to learn russian, electrics and electronics. I want to have time to write online multiplayer version of my favourite games for GBA/NDS. I want to have time to get some part time job to amass more money to not reach into black hour savings to cover incoming expenses.

I'm getting swings between being paranoid, pissed and melanholic due to no sign from girl I like. One of very few girls I don't find annoying or dumb as fuck. My female clone. First girl I decided is worth trying to create serious relationship with. I'm trying so fucking hard to come up with variety of activities we can do, to make her laugh and make it all enjoyable but ffs, it's so frustrating when you get no sign if she likes it or not. I know she has little time due to uni stuff but fuck, I want to push this relationship forward, I want to spend time with her and open her up. Give me a fucking sign ffs. Open up a little. Call me for once. Let me help you or care for you. For fucks sake, you're on top of my priority list and when it comes to stuff related to you I'm for some reason always motivated. Give me fucking hope.
It pisses me off that I'm most likely the same as her to others but I don't care if others feel about me the way I feel about her right now because I hate hypocrisy.

I want to find job in more rural and poor part of the country because I hate fucking cities. The problem is, in these parts of the country it's harder to find work. I want to take girl with me but I'm not sure if she'd want it and how hard it would be for her to also find work there. I want to have small piece of farm land and grow potatoes, strawberries, currants and apples. I want couple of chickens and cow.

I'm pissed at retarded gun laws here. I don't want to force myself to meet quota of shooting contests or hunting to keep my licence. I want to participate in contests when I feel like it. I just want to keep my property and family safe, casually shoot every now and then for entertainment and training, and teach future kids how to shoot.
I'm fucking mad about politics and current political correctness and overtolerance. I don't want fucking muslim or african animals polluting this country in the future with their shitty culture and crime. I don't want people getting sued or fined all over the place for pointing out truth and when some fucktard gets slightly offended. I'm getting fucking tired of all those special snowflakes, savagery, overentitlement and egoism of libtards and people they think they protect. I'm tired of media, politicians, corporations and other pieces of shit pandering to fucking minorities and claiming it's still democracy. Favouring minorities over majorities is fucking opposite of democracy you fucking shitheads. I'd have more fucking respect for you if you told us straight to our faces that you're making big money here and you don't care about us, you care only about country not completely falling so you could keep milking it. Fuck you and most people in general. I'm tired of your bullshit. I just want to take people I care about and fuck off with them to some rural place where no one will bother us. Fuck you all. I hope bunch of aids ridden nigger teenagers fuck you in the ass till you bleed for eternity from it.

No. 96148

>>96143
Take me to be on the farm with you

No. 96161

Looking for new job in the field so I have a stable income to get on with my life and do what I want to do. Just applying and waiting, applying and applying, and waiting, and applying. It's fucking insane how useless you feel when you cannot get a decent job you are overqualified for.

So I'm stuck at my current job right now where I'm micromanaged to the point where I have a position of authority at work and it is constantly undermined. and we have his creepy fucking janitor who has sexually harassed most of the women and they won't fire him. And he's been using my stuff in the fridge. Yes, we continue to complain, but no one cares.

My coworker's marriage is going downhill and she's making everyone's lives miserable and she's someone who never apologizes. She was talking in circles on Wednesday and making no sense and is now mad at me for some reason, where I didn't even defend or confront her because I couldn't make sense of what she was saying.

And they denied me a promotion to a different dept. where they said they were gonna fit me in. So I could finally have enough income and get experience in the field I may want to go back to school for.

I drink on my lunch break now and cry.

No. 96177

>>80845
wew i just fucking bombed my biology lab final. it was honestly ridiculously difficult and had little to nothing to do with any of the experiments we actually did in class, so i don't even understand why all the TAs and instructors kept telling us to go over the lab manual and make sure we know the procedure because the fucking procedure was barely on the actual test. it was mostly application of the concept behind the procedure in a completely different situation, which meant that if you had a shallow understanding of the experiment, you were pretty much screwed. idk honestly and my TA was such a hard grader that she would dock points off for the tiniest errors in our lab reports/worksheets, which most of the other and previous TA's didn't do. Like not even errors that could somehow affect the integrity of our data, just fucking stupid shit. lab finals are always difficult relative to the previous course material and quizzes, yeah, but i was counting on the lab reports and stuff to keep me afloat like last quarter. i had a solid B in the class before my final, which was an okay final grade, but it's not going to be enough to rescue me now. and yeah, there's a curve, but the curve is optional and depends on the TA, and i kind of really doubt that ours will be merciful enough to curve the scores. HA HA HA fuck i want to die.

No. 96178

I wrote a long winded story about what a shitty life situation I have but then just deleted it all. I've given up, can't I just fucking die

No. 96206

>>96148
No. You are not her.

No. 96224

>>96161
could you try putting a load of extremely hot peppers and chili oil in your lunch next time?

No. 96242

There's this little nasty ass kid that's been stalking me and my bf on Twitter for months and making really inappropriate comments towards me (I blocked him after that started but my bf didn't) and finally, my bf just sent him a DM telling him to chill out a little.

The kid proceeded to flip out and has been embarrassing himself by calling my bf a "worthless junkie with no friends or family" and calling me a dumb hoe (lol) for a week straight. We both blocked him but we've gotten so many messages from random people asking what's going on.

It's kinda funny though because my boyfriend has been sober for 5 years and is making bank with his career, and I'm completely loyal to him while this kid dropped out of college within being there for one month and does heroin…

What would you guys do? Should I unblock the kid and tell him to fuck off?

No. 96243

>>96242

Honestly if he's gonna act like a little bitch, I'd send screenshots of the things he's messaging and posting to his mother and just go for maximum shame train

No. 96283

>>96242
Block and ignore if he's not a danger to you. Everytime you respond, you are giving him what he wants. You guys are basically training each other to stay in this cycle. If he realizes you guys don't respond, he'll move on

No. 96287

>>96242

Do. Not. Respond.
When people do this shit they are only looking for one thing; a reaction. Do not give it to him. Do not unblock him. Do not respond to him. Pretend he doesn't exist and he will eventually move onto the next target of his frustrations.

No. 96288

Nigerian guys keep coming up to me in the street, in supermarkets, in stores asking me for my number and to see me again when I've never met them in my life. I don't know what it is about me or what I'm doing to attract these guys specifically but I think maybe it's because I'm white, blonde and always walking around on my own. Maybe some of it has to do with my body, because I'm 5'7" and like to lift weights and workout but I still eat enough to remain quite thick which I prefer because I'm very paranoid about my personal safety.

Last year I had a Nigerian guy living in my student accommodation and we were all having drinks one night, swapping stories, having bants and the like, and we turned to him and said "Hey Thomas, what kind of women do you like", and he fucking pointed at me.
He said "You are good, we do not like them soooo… this skinny is so popular in the West but we like our women big and powerful, and so if we are able to conquer these women it is an achievement for us". Th-thanks.

Has anybody else had this where they're attracting a particular demographic constantly? I think I'm going on a diet and putting down the weights for a while, jeez.

No. 96292

>>96288
I live in a pretty diverse city so personally, no. That being said my Korean friend only gets hit on by white guys (white latinos too), not even other Korean or Asian guys. She gets upset about it because she wants to be with someone who understands her culture and Korean without being presumptuous, which she says is the case with the white guys that go after her.

Something I remember her telling me is that a few eventually go "so you're not like most koreans because you like/dislike _____" or "I would't have expected this because Koreans _____".

It's crazy to me how anyone of any background could like someone solely because of their ethnic background or race (cultural background is a bit different to me though).

No. 96293

>>96292
I've literally never encountered an IRL white guy who obsesses over asian women.

Are you sure your friend isn't just humblebragging? Asian girls do this whole "ugh, white guys absolutely love me and think I'm perfect and beautiful" routine a lot.

No. 96304

>>96293
I've never encountered what this anon >>96288 is talking about either, but that doesn't mean she's "humblebragging".
Stop making excuses just because the creeps are white in this case. White guys can be fucking spergs.

No. 96306

>>96293
I'm not even Asian and I see it all the time. It doesn't even have to be a "kawaii" east Asian. Literally any Asian woman that isn't super fat or older than 60 will get it at least once. Yellow fever is huge, especially with "nerdy" and/or "redpilled" older white guys.

No. 96308

>>96304
No doubt. But I just find the implication asian girls are helpless victims when they fetishize white guys just as much if not more a little dubious.

>making excuses


I'm not "making excuses", I just find the idea that every or even a majority of white guys have thirst for asian girls kind of hard to believe.

>>96306
>yellow fever is huge

See, this is where I'm at odds with you. I just don't see it. At all. If anything most of what I've heard is that asian girls are shapeless and have no tits. Perhaps it depends on the circles you socialize in, mine are pretty normal, 20-something white professionals and I'd say the vast majority of them prefer white girls. If your social circles are people who like cosplay and are still obsessively watching anime then it's probably a bit different.

No. 96309

>>96293
Nah, she's not like that. She only ever brings it up of our other friends bring up something weird someone we dated did. Like, she never brings up race/ethnicity first unless she wants to specify the fact that she tried to explain to a guy that she grew up in the U.S. and therefor some of the stereotypes don't apply to her but he ignores it.

>>96308
Btw, I didn't mean to make it seem as though every white guy on the face of the earth is after her, just that for some reason white guys are the only guys that have shown an interest in her, enough so to hit on or flirt with her. Guys from other races haven't.

Also yellow-fever does not exclusively refer to white guys, just anyone that fetishizes Asian people. Some argue that even Asians can be regarded as having yellow fever if they obsess over a specific ethnic group within Asia.

No. 96311

>>96293

Uhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm >>96288 and why would anybody want to brag about enormous Nigeran men targeting them on the street with the intention of 'conquering' them. It's nothing to brag about.

No. 96317

>>96311
Difference is that a majority of black men really do prefer white women. A majority of white men don't prefer asian women.

No. 96320

>>96311
Idk, but some white women like to do shit like that.
See: Tess Munster and her "Black men love me!".

No. 96321

>>96317
That's only true if you spend your time watching interracial cuckold porn, anon.

No. 96322

>>96320

Jesus I'm like, mentally shuddering at the concept. Maybe it'd be flattering if these Nigerian players were like, well-educated, driven professionals with good intentions for their future but they're not. They see white women like me on the street and want to collect us like we're fucking Pokémon and it's gross. I bet after I walked off he went and did the same thing to 3+ other white women walking alone.

No. 96323

>>96322
Yeah, I can't imagine people being flattered at being treated that way unless they have like absolutely no self-esteem.
It's like when guys say "But cat-calling is a compliment!".

No. 96327

>>96322
It's crazy because in the U.S. Nigerians are the highest educated Africans, especially the women.

No. 96334

>>96322
But what if they're rich princes who just want to ask you for your email account so they could send you millions of dollars

No. 96335

File: 1465161526954.gif (670.14 KB, 320x234, kek.gif)

>>96317
>A majority of white men don't prefer asian women.

No. 96338

>>96327

Yeah, I mean the guy even apparently graduated from the uni I'm attended, although he could have just been saying that, but obviously a Western education does nothing wash away their garbage attitude to women.

The worst bit was how he approached me. Fuck, just, fucking listen to this.

>walking down the street, huge black guy jumps in front of me

>OH GOD JESUS NO
>"excuse me, excuse me"
>"uh.. h-hello? (that accent, he must be from Nigeria)
>"do you believe you are a good woman?"
>I… I think so (what the fuck is he trying to sell me)
>"well, sharing is caring"
He fucking pulls out three cans of Irn Bru and tells me to take one
>N-no thank you but thanks for the offer
>"are you on a diet or something? Because you don't need to lose weight
>Oh no, I just, there's too much sugar in them. I only drink water ( D: )
>"okay, okay, so where are you going"
>"what are you doing"
>"where are you going after this"
>"I would like to see you again"
>( D: D: D: D: )

No. 96350

>>96338
I had a super pushy Nigerian guy creep on me while I was at work.
He had the office suite next to ours and he knew we were moving out. I always kept the door locked during business hours because I was often alone working for hours at a time and didn't feel comfortable with it unlocked. Whenever he'd come bang on the door I'd ignore him and he'd sit there knocking for 10 minutes. He eventually got the landlord to come over so he could "tour" the office suite. He left within a minute with her, and as soon as she was gone he barged back in before I could lock the door. He leaned over my desk and this happened:
>"so you are moving? Give me your number."
>…Why?
>"are we not friends? Friends call and share numbers, give me your number."
>uhh, I don't use my phone much at all. I usually email my friends.
He was already aggressive when he walked in but now he's edging up to psychotic mode.
>"do you have a boyfriend?"
>uhh…yes, I do.
>"where does he live?"
>in Oklahoma.
>"Really now."
And started playing 20 questions with me to catch me lying about the boyfriend, getting more and more upset. I honestly started shaking and wanted to cry because this dude was 20+ years older than me and had at least a foot of height and 100lbs above me. He got pissed off enough that he stormed out and I jumped up and locked the door behind him. He came back an hour later and tried the door and I just hid in the bathroom with the phone predialed to 9-1-1 in case he tried anything.
Honestly him and his little coworkers were all the same and fucking terrifying. So glad I'm away from them.

No. 96351

>>96350

FUCKING. NIGERIANS.

No. 96358

>>96338
I think what >>96327 is suggesting is the airline ticket is a good filter for lowlifes when it comes to immigration. Lots of American liberals can't comprehend Muslims being crappy people because here we mostly get highly motivated/educated Muslims, Nigerians, and Somalians immigrating here. It is absolutely true the US gets the best immigrants Africa has to offer.

I can see why Europeans think Donald Trump is outrageous, because from what I hear, most Mexicans you find in Europe are educated and wealthy and polite, not like the desperate uneducated masses we see here in the southern border states.

No. 96359

>tfw you're being ghosted

sobs

No. 96360

>>96358

What you say makes sense, and generally yes, the Mexicans we receive are typically the good, wholesome, moral ones. Typically.

No. 96361

File: 1465180743325.jpg (49.52 KB, 472x376, tnXk8Rh.jpg)

>>96359
i know that feel. it burns. it burns inside.

i know a salve, but you aren't going to like it. delete everything you have of that person. pictures, texts, logs, emails, and most importantly, remove them from your contact lists so you don't keep checking.. and checking.. and checking.. and if you can, jump into another relationship pronto. doesn't have to be serious.

No. 96370

>>95771
thanks anon for the advice

No. 96442

File: 1465254259322.jpg (73.97 KB, 599x563, 1464542344002.jpg)

>>80845
My neighbour is a crazy psychopath and he decided he hates me (?!) recently. I'm legit worried for my safety. Mostly annoyed because if I cross him while coming back from work/groceries/whatever he will pull his weirdo antics and that always puts a damper on my day.

I have half a mind to report him to the concierge or at least talk to his wife, but she's leaving him soon because of his crazy ways so it would be pointless.

His antics include honking his car loudly for ages whenever he sees me, shouting fuck off at my back (he's too pussy to do it to my face) and creepily looking me up and down and whispering weird shit like "niceeeee" if I'm wearing anything that shows any skin. And I mean anything. With the niceee incident I was wearing a regular tank top and long baggy jeans. I was taking out the rubbish or whatever. I'm not going to wear a burqua in the middle of summer just to keep this aging moron at bay.

My interactions with him are 99% talking to his wife, she's a lovely lady (yes, someone sane and nice married him) and asking her to make him leave me alone. I said "hello" to him a few times when I first moved in and didn't know he's cray cray, but he didn't respond so I stopped saying hello. He moved and looked weird so I let him be, figured he was deaf or whatever. People don't have to say hello, I was cool with that.

I'm not a loud neighbour or anything, in fact my neighbours sometimes wonder if I've moved out I'm that quiet. So he has no reason to hate me. I should ask around the building, maybe I'm not the only one he shouts weird stuff at.

No. 96450

This isn't a big deal or anything but aaaghhh. For the past few days I've been moving my lower jaw up to where it probably should be and my mouth just gets so tired and it's annoying. Like, I have an overbite. My dentists tried to fix it back when I had braces a few years ago (with sticking 8-10 rubber bands in my mouth and putting things on the back of my front teeth so my lower jaw had no choice but to be forward. This all was well and good but as soon as these were removed I went back to my old overbitey ways) and now, as I've gotten older, it's gotten a bit worse and despite being only 105lbs at 5'4", a lot of angles make it look like I have a double chin in the making and that's not cool. I don't need that. But damn does keeping my jaw forward against its will drain me. I can go for most of the day, but by night when I try to keep it forward it quivers and I just can't do it. I should go back and get it looked at (because, if I'm honest, the last time I went to the dentist was probably 5 years ago to see if I needed my wisdom teeth out. They said they'd call me if I did… and they never called so I assume all is well) but isn't the typical fix for this shit kind of painful and/or expensive? Hopefully I can just get it where it should be on my own. It took a little bit to find the correct bite, but I think I've gotten there so I should be okay.

No. 96476

>>96450
Okay so, I had braces for 4 years, one tooth exposure (my tooth was basically growing in above my gums…like an inch above where it was supposed to be), and physiotherapy on my jaw. I used to have horrible jaw pain, and my doctors basically told me that my skull isn't shaped right. My jaw is too small, and my skull is slightly asymmetrical. Add to that the fact that I had horrible posture, and you'll understand that I was in pain all the time.

One of my physio exercises to align my jaw was to stand straight, and with my mouth closed, place my tongue on the roof of my mouth. Rest the tip of your tongue against the back of your top front teeth. Then, with your tongue still in place, open your mouth (don't open it super wide, just a regular amount. Keep your jaw comfortable). Hold it for a few second, and then close your mouth. Do that 10 times.

Your jaw will feel more "loose", and it should be easier to find your natural bite pattern.

No. 96477

>>96450
And yes, I would get it looked at. You might want to get a referral yo a head, neck, and jaw specialist. That's where I got my jaw physio.

No. 96482

>>96442
Wtf that's so crazy. I would 100% tell your concierge so at least someone knows that something nuts is going on. What if he attacks you when his wife is gone?

No. 96483

File: 1465306462821.jpg (44.13 KB, 382x470, 133513928.jpg)

There's a new chick in work and I really wish she quits.
She looks like your typical pretty blonde Scandinavian girl (pic related) with the personality of a toaster, except half as useful. Her every other word is 'like' and she always does this cutesy nervous giggle whenever she doesn't know what's going on (which is always). She doesn't do any work, speaks horrible English whilst somehow managing to sound like a vapid valley girl at the same time, and all the guys in work are crawling up her arse because she's a pretty foreign girl.

Don't get me wrong, she's nice (and I'd never talk shit behind her back to other coworkers or anything mean without given reason to), but they basically hired her for her pretty face and it pisses me off.

No. 96497

>>96359
What happened anon?

No. 96525

>>96483

she probably has no personality because she can't really speak English.

No. 96526

>>96482
Well my fiance knows so far, that's enough for me. If he continues harassing me I might just go tk the concierge. It's just really stressful.

No. 96556

>>96358
Lmao, thats definitely what I suggested when I mentioned the academic achievement of Nigerians in the U.S.

Idk whats so difficult to understand about not generalizing an entire ethnic group, but w/e since it makes you feel better I highly doubt logic will ever make you stop.

>>96338
>>96350
Tbh, I also brought up the difference because I think that a persons environment has a direct impact on their behavior. I hardly come across any Nigerians that will hit on a woman in that manner, their community tells them off for even dressing inappropriately in my city.

The people who do hit on women that lamely usually grew up here already, or are a poor immigrant community from a specific country (I refuse to name it because I don't think it's necessary to paint an inaccurate picture of what these people are like. A couple of pigs doesn't automatically equate to an entire nationality/ethnicity of men thinking women are just walking holes. Even with whats going on in Brazil I would never think I'd be raped the second I got there and no one would find it a big deal).

No. 96588

>>96525
Oh please. We also have a shitload of Russian kids with even worse English and they manage to be funny and interesting without being perfectly fluent. She just smiles and stares and has about 10 different awkward stock responses for every situation that she rotates as needed.

No. 96596

I balled up and deleted Facebook, because FOMO can't get to me when I have no friends anyway. My newsfeed is full of people who are living better lives than I am, and it's more of a downer than a motivator. I spent some time today going through the Facebook of a girl who bullied me when I was 6-12, and it pisses me off beyond belief that she's having a good time. I don't want to give myself the ability to look through it again. Maybe I'll make another one when I have my shit together, and I will get my shit together.

No. 96602

>>96596
This is basically me, except I'm keeping the line open by not deleting my FB. I don't check or update it at all, and I only use it to communicate with select people.

No. 96659

>>96602
>>96596
Just a protip for next time you use FB, unfollow everyone you don't want to see. They won't show up on your dashboard anymore but you can still go on their profiles if you want to and are friends with them.

I unfollowed 93% of everyone I know on facebook and it's become a useful site for managing events and occasionally sending a message, rather than a FOMO fest.

No. 96661

Speaking of FB.

Hot guy you went on a date with and have a huge crush on: no reaction when you change your profile pic to a qt shot of you on vacation

Rando who you drunkenly gave a (bad) lap dance to at a party: "likes" every single thing you post

fml

No. 96666

>>96661
it's just fb

No. 96668

>>96666
I know… but gdi.

No. 96673

I'm tired of falling for straight girls and having to deal with the fact that they're never going to have feelings for me back. Even more so I'm tired of girls saying they're bi but "only like girls sexually, not romantically!!". Like fuck you and the boat you came here in for giving me hope that maybe the girl I like will like me back.

I know it's petty but apparently I have a thing for people who will never like me, and a bigger thing for people who think it's funny to bait me along and make me feel like I have a chance only to tell me they'll have meaningless sex with me but nothing else.

No. 96678

>>96602
That's what I did before, but I hate having the ability to look up whoever I want to see how they're doing. I don't do it often, but I feel like shit when I do. The people I want to talk to have my number anyway.

No. 96679

>>96673
kinda OT, but in general "bi" girls annoy the flying shit out of me.

No. 96680

>>96678
Yea, I get that. I'm too chicken to look at people's profiles/timelines in the first place, so that's why I didn't have to delete.

On principle I hate using FB anyway. If someone is my friend, why should I have to check it to find out what's going on in their life? They should be telling me directly.

No. 96681

>>96679
Same, I just get the feeling sometimes they're just toting it around to give them more special points or some sort of fucked up sex appeal?

Maybe I'm just bitter that they're never gonna have to suffer that much and they get a little badge of honor in the community

No. 96683

I'm my retired elderly mother's "baby" and I feel like a piece of shit for wanting to move out because I know she'll be lonely and sad without me. But I can't live in our hometown anymore. I wish I could convince her to move with me so I could set her up in a little apartment and check on her but it's not going to happen. I'm going to miss her too God I'm a huge pussy

No. 96684

>>96673
>>96679
>>96681
I'm a bi girl myself and I can tell you it's not just a feeling. I've seen absolutely tons of "bi" women who are completely straight and just want the (imo negative) attention it brings. I have my own story about a girl who would drop obvious hints and flirt a lot without ever meaning it.

Women that say they love women and find them hot or etc. but only date guys are straight 99% of the time. Not because promiscuous bi women who will only have serious relationships with men don't exist, but because there's so many straight women who get pressured into threesomes or who just want attention. It really sucked when I was looking for someone and the lesbians wouldn't take me seriously but the vast majority of "bi" women just wanted to put on a show for their bf and had no interest in an actual relationship.

No. 96686

>>96684
I'm straight so I guess my opinion is unneeded and unwanted here, but the fake bi/lesbian thing irritates the fuck out of me. I'd never do it, it's so disrespectful and tacky. I have no problems with women who genuinely like other women, but when the guys you date are dropping hints about you banging another chick, it's like wtf? You go suck a dick and then we'll talk. (And of course they would never do that. It's all about the girl putting on the show.)

No. 96687

>>96686
No worries anon, it is the vent thread. And yeah that's one of my biggest pet peeves ever. It wouldn't even be that annoying if it weren't for all the stupid excuses and broscience they always bring up.

I absolutely hate the idea of having anything but extremely strict monogamy and a ltr, but if I was into threesomes my rule would definitely be no fmf or shows until there was mmf or mfm first. And I would actually have to like the girl too instead of having some douchebag pick out a girl based solely on how much they "make up for what you lack".

No. 96688

>>96687
It's like…I don't care what they find hot, but do they seriously expect their gf to do something that they'd never in a million years do themselves? People are idiots and so self-unaware.

And geez, the broscience "WOMEN ARE NATURALLY BISEXUAL!!!!" yea dude, and the Greeks fucked each other in the ass all the time, that should mean that men are all bisexual deep down inside too.

No. 96731

I'm super uncomfortable right now because my bf decided to host one of his female friends in our one bedroom apartment for a few days.
No, I didn't really get a say in this plan and obviously even if I did get an edge in I would look like bitchy possessive girlfriend if i said no.
It's not that I don't trust him.
It's not that I think they're up to anything (besides maybe bf grandstanding his manliness and over playing how much he does shit around here when he doesn't).

I just want him to know how it feels to have the opposite gender around his girlfriend, someone who he doesn't know, hanging around me when he's at work and talking outside until 4 in the morning. He can't even handle it when I have female friends over without asserting possession (he insists they're "our" friends when lolno they come to hang out with me and not you faggot).
I just wonder how he'd react if I brought home some hunky dude passing me cigs and paling around the house when he's at work, and talking to me in hushed voices until 4 fucking am.

Fucking please…

No. 96747

>>96731
Invite someone male to stay over

No. 96755

I hate people assuming I have OCD so much. Because I really don't. I just like to keep my appartment in a condition that people can come over any time and I don't have to be ashamed. All it takes is 10 - 30 minutes of cleaning per day. I'm sometimes critizised for showering every day too.

Why are so many people so sloppy that they consider this 'mentally ill'? I just like to have a nice appartment and to smell nice.

No. 96756

>>96755
>I'm sometimes critizised for showering every day too

I cannot go more than 24 hours without showering. I know women who are okay with up to 72 hours, like what?

No. 96757

>>96755
Are you the person from the housekeeping thread?

No. 96759

Being on lolcow has been a great contributor to me relapsing back into my ED.

No. 96765

>>96757
No, I don't clean as much as that anon.

No. 96772

i thought it was perfectly common to shower everyday? what kind of people are criticizing you for that

No. 96775

>>96755
Having standards makes people uncomfortable. Instead of going through the mental gymnastic of considering your boundaries it's easier to label you crazy.
>source: someone with the same need to keep house clean and who has to write lists and nags for a do-nothing bf to do, if I'm not picking up after him first

No. 96776

the only friends i have at the moment have basically cut contact with me because i think incest is gross and i was "shaming" their coping mechanisms despite neither of them being a victim of incestual rape. im faced with about 4 months of no interaction with people now which sucks but otherwise, i feel nothing from them cutting contact with me. ive struggled for years with maintaining friendships and its gotten to the point i feel im just so unlikeable that i should just stop trying to be friends with people and do my own thing.
its a lot better than interacting with people who think incest is an Okay thing

No. 97008

File: 1465605887035.jpg (41.79 KB, 460x452, Ci9B9PlWYAAwGBb.jpg)

I know this thread is mostly negative things but I'm genuinely so happy right now, I can't remember the last time I felt like this…

My life isn't perfect and I'm not either, but I've accepted that and I love it (and myself) for what it is. I finally feel at peace, all light and airy.

I wish you were all here with me, it's a perfect cool summer night and one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. It's like the world is showing me my feelings in physical form.

No. 97012

>>97008
ily anon, i feel very peaceful tonight too. the moon is bright and the night is warm

No. 97341

I've spent all my time on the internet. I've done so much cringeworthy shit online and I can't get over it. No nudes, nothing cruel. Just plain teenage cringe.

It's nothing special at all and I should really get over myself, but I can't.

No. 97511

I JUST BURNT THE FILTER OF MY CIGARETTE.
HOW FUCKIN STUPID CAN A PERSON BE.
FUGG

No. 97731

File: 1466022206201.jpg (1.98 MB, 3401x2277, photo-1465612245778-6f59c99b5f…)

I fucking hate that the hobby I invest the most time into is filled with shut ins and introverts and no one wants to leave their house to get a cup of coffee.

The only way I can interact with most knitters and crocheters my age is online through IRC or discord, and I brought up the topic of World Wide Knit in Public Day and asked if people were doing anything cool and most replies were pretty much "Nope, I'm a hermit, and I don't like the public :DD" like that's something to be proud of
For real are you fucking kidding me

I mean I get along with most ladies I meet at the needle arts socials I go to, but for once I wish I can actually have someone around my age to talk to.

>inb4 get a new hobby stupid



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