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No. 80845
How about a good old Feels/Vent thread about whatever the fuck you want.
Previous thread
>>37152Let's scream into the abyss about our problems and try to help each other where we can.
No. 80846
>>80845I want to vent about this site. I feel like there's a lot of negativity growing, I miss the good feels and good vibes. I'm sick of race arguments in every thread, of people making a response just to say "what" or "k".
It's making threads not fun to read. Not comfy. Derailing arguments that go on for 30 posts, unfunny shitposts and people misunderstanding the OP make many threads unreadable.
No. 80853
>>80847this is why you need pepper spray
go for the eyes next time
No. 80854
Literally was just
triggered by instagram and feel pathetic. I freaked out a few days ago because I looked at an account that had liked one of my selfies, and the tiny userpic looked a bit like an abusive ex that I still have nightmares about, but I managed to reassure myself that it was just someone with a similar haircut. It happened again this week and I've just spent an hour having a panic attack while examining every detail of their cat photos (the only content) and getting a mutual to confirm my ex doesn't own a cat.
Reading that it isn't them got me back to earth, but now I just feel disgusted at myself and pathetic for thinking that I would still be of any interest to that bastard. I feel ashamed for thinking I could be an obsession even of a creep, and lame for having an anxiety attack just because of instagram. In any case that account is skeevy and I'm blocking it, it's only following a mix of teen kawaii bloggers and extreme ageplay porn.
>>80846Same, I don't understand where all this /pol/ stuff has even come from
No. 80893
File: 1458031889083.jpg (328.54 KB, 838x573, How-to-Handle-a-Cyberstalker.j…)
I feel void of personality. I have no defining traits or hobbies. I've isolated myself so much growing up (still do), and I think the toll its taken on me really shows.
I'm worried because I've developed a really bad habit of stalking people online. People I've never interacted with. I've come across them through various forums and sites while browsing. I guess I do it because I find their personalities interesting or admirable. I know it's really creepy and I should get a life. I've tried to stop multiple times but I always end up coming back to it eventually by coming across someone else who catches my eye. I'm not malicious in any way but I find it fascinating what sort of information they leave on the internet. It's pathetic but I also fantasize about these people a lot. It makes me sad to know I could never form a genuine realistic connection with them.
No. 80911
>>80884Any event or competitive sales job is going to be more stressful than a basic cleaning or retail job. Starting any job is stressful as hell, but once you know the routine for something mundane you might find yourself able to cope.
Perhaps you and other anon should try to volunteer somewhere once a week to help you adjust.
No. 80982
>>80893I think that'd be really fun, actually. I do it with people I've met for a day and I add them or vice versa. I look on their fb page through the years, their past lovers, drama, milestones.
Sometimes I'll find someone special and fantasize about them, but 90% of the time they end up disappointing my expectations of what their life would be.
I feel like a creep because I've long since deleted the embarrassing years and past relationships, so nobody could do to me what I do to them.
No. 80995
>>80893I've done/do similar, just because I can. People leave huge trails and don't even realize it. I just need one username, or a name and a job, or name and location, and I can unveil so much about most of their lives.
I've been increasingly more conscious about what I post ever since I was like 16, and I've gone through and dug into myself to remove what I can so others can't do this to me. I'll never get rid of it all because, unfortunately, I get kinda attached to some accounts and posts and stuff, but still.
There is one person, who I actually knew irl at one point, who I've tried my hardest to find and I just cannot. About once or twice a year I go through a phase of trying to find them again. There is nothing. I don't know if they're dead or what, but even still I figure there would have been an article or obit or something about it.
Actually, that's not 100% true. Years ago I saw a comment on facebook under a photo of someone who I think is related to them, and the comment mentioned their name, but that was it. It doesn't exist anymore though, once again leaving me with nothing.
No. 81001
>>80995>who I've tried my hardest to find and I just cannot. About once or twice a year I go through a phase of trying to find them again. There is nothing. Kinda same here. Although I didn't know my person IRL, I like to still look them up from time to time. There's not enough info and I've been looking them up (don't wanna say stalk cause I'm not malicious) since like 2011.
>>80893With the void of personality thing, maybe you can start off "faking" one, like assigning some hobbies, traits, preferences and opinions to a personality and then trying to be/act like that person would for a short time and see how you like it? Then modify as needed. As for the stalking, as long as you're not hurting anyone or yourself, I don't think you need to stop.
No. 81092
File: 1458076558651.jpg (41.16 KB, 480x360, 1457477191557.jpg)
Lately I've been finding myself daydreaming and fantasizing even more than usual, nearly any time my mind isn't already occupied by something. This is starting to really worry me and I'm afraid that with the combination of my procrastination will stop me from achieving my goals and actually getting shit done if I want to achieve those goals. Legit scared I might be developing some sort of delusion or serious mental illness, what do?
No. 81096
>>81081samefag
. . . i'm just kidding. it is annoying and i don't get how it would be personally rewarding to be trolling/luking relatively slow moving threads only to scream samefaggggg at every opportunity. at this point the only samefagging i'm convinced of is that there is one highly dedicated individual perpetuating massive samefagging through samefagging callouts. it's like samefag inception
No. 81108
>>81072i'm sorry =[
as lame as this sounds, sometimes you have to be your own best friend. other people always have the potential to let you down. at this point it sounds like you don't have many people to rely on. i know this sounds silly but maybe you could start going to church, i'm not particularly religious but it helped me at least feel a part of something.
i care anon! nobody deserves to be hurt like that. i'm not sure how old you are and what your money situation is but sounds like you could get a job, even a shitty one, and start saving money to move out. it will probably take a long time but the reward will be worth it. once you are out of the environment you describe you will feel loads better. you are from now on, engaged in a top secret mission to rescue yourself! only you can do it. do it because you deserve to be happy and have a good life. if you can get out, you can do literally anything. and i know you can do it. sounds like there is no one in your life to whom you can talk to, but a lot of people here have been through similar situations. just keep posting on here if it helps
No. 81144
File: 1458079278668.jpg (26.18 KB, 250x249, ew.jpg)
I feel like shit for may reasons these days (always tired, shit grades in college, etc) but something is bothering me. There's that guy in college, I don't really acre that much about him usually. He's your average guy who isn't very good or bad looking, he has friends and he often jokes with pretty much everyone except some people (including me). I've been a bit jealous of him because he's more successful than me in some things that I won't detail because it's not important. I know it's wrong but I can't help it. I also catch myself thinking more and more about him when there's no reason to, asking myself what he's doing right now and stupid shit like that. How do I stop caring about him? I hate feeling like this so much, it's so frustrating.
short version: I'm jealous of guy to the point of thinking about him way too much, it pisses me off.
No. 81168
>>80888That's admitting defeat and being a freeloading faggot. There are people with far worse mental illnesses that need the money. I have a schizphrenic family member and they get like, $700 a month to try and live on. Their existence is bleak and utterly hopeless. With a few more $$$ they could afford to do some things to keep their happiness up.
>>80891I denied a full time job because I know i couldn't do it, despite the fact it was something simple like bringing food to patients at an old people home. Only paid $8.50/hr, too.
No. 81229
>>81228Hobbies
Interests
Figure
Kinda face
Hair
No Adam's apple
I might have Klinefelter's syndrome because my body is all kinds of fucked up
No. 81583
I'm poor and I feel like in today's world I will never not be poor. Everyone says go to college, but then you have to pay off huge debt for the rest of your life, and you're pretty obligated to stick with whatever career you chose even if you find out you hate it just because you spent all that money on it. But it seems like there's so few jobs out there that I would not completely hate & that I could make a comfortable wage on. I want to live my life in a more minimalistic lifestyle, I don't even care about making a ton of money…my #1 goal in life has always to never get too caught up in the rat race or a wage slave job or to just live to worship money, rather to have nice experiences & enjoy my close relationships with bf & family etc. But me & my bf are struggling so bad even with that mindset, I wanted to cry yesterday when I realized that at this rate we will never even be able to afford a vacation, all we do is work & thats it, & thats never what either of us wanted out of life. And i feel like a lot of it is my fault, because I'm a hairdresser for a shitty corporate salon who pays me chump change so I make a lot less money than him. I started there a few months ago & have been holding out hoping they will give me more hours but I don't see that happening. I'm slowly realizing anyways that I hate doing hair & working with people so I contacted a lady with a pet grooming business and I might switch over to doing that hopefully soon, but I'm just scared that I won't make any money doing that either. Maybe it makes me an asshole of some sort or makes me deserve my poorness, but I know I could go work several jobs waitressing or whatever & make more money but I don't want to, I don't want to work a job I hate & have to revolve my whole life around working & never even have time or energy to enjoy my money like I feel like so many people do in this world today. I just want 1 job, a decent job that I don't mind that doesn't make me feel dead inside, 35-40 hrs a week, with enough pay that I can live comfortably instead of having to live like white trash penny pinchers. And I'm scared I'll never have that.
No. 81725
Today I was out with my boyfriend and we decided to grab some wraps to eat and then swing past a different café to grab some coffee since this particular place does the best coffee in our town.
Since we already had food from another place but needed somewhere to sit I suggested we drink our coffee and eat our wraps on the outside seating of this place. Okay we didn't buy the food from this place but we were making a purchase here and we were going to eat outside. The coffee is £3.50 a cup, fucking extortionate, but it IS good coffee.
Went in and ordered our coffee and the woman serving our coffee was one I'd never seen before, who then remarked on the two polystyrene containers we had and asked if they'd come from here. I replied no and stated that we weren't intending on eating them inside, we were going to eat them outside and only after we'd made a purchase here.
She responded with a condescending grin on her face "don't you think you're being a bit cheeky?" (who you trying to convince bitch me or you).
I told her no, I've made a purchase here, I'm not intending to sit inside, I want to sit outside and enjoy the sunlight and that the business doesn't make vegetarian wraps so I'm unable to purchase them from the premises anyway.
"That's besides the point".
What's beside the point? My boyfriend and I have just dropped £7.00 on two coffees that probably took you less than 20p to make and I'd totally get it if we were trying to sit inside but part of the inflated charge is labour costs and seating. I've just paid £7.00 so that we can enjoy our coffee in a seated area.
"Ohhhh I just don't want my manager seeing"
No fuck you bitch, I know your manager and Kim is chill as fuck and always gives me extra cream on my order of molten caffeinated sugar, she wouldn't give a fuck.
YOU DON'T EVEN MAKE FUCKING WRAPS SO HOW CAN I BUY THEM FROM YOU INSTEAD
THE CONTAINERS WEREN'T EVEN BRANDED, THEY WERE PLAIN, WHITE POLYSTYRENE CONTAINERS
Anyway we ended up sitting on a bench directly across the road from the café and she kept side-eying us from the window. Was it really worth it bitch.
I don't care who wants to argue with me on this. They don't sell vegetarian wraps and if I've just paid £3.50 for a coffee from them then you're damn fucking sure I'm going to sit my surly ass on your outside seating.
No. 81734
>>81725It's common sense that it's not okay to bring outside food/beverage to a food service place, even to their outdoor seating. If you're gonna do shit like that, at least be sneaky about it. They probably would've never noticed had you not literally brought the food inside and showed it to them.
Just go eat at a park next time.
No. 81740
>>81738Yeah, probably, I was just enraged by the shit-eating grin she gave me and the condescending tone she used.
Obviously I wouldn't have done something like this if I was carrying a branded meal but it was legit just a plain, white container and they don't serve any vegetarian options so idk how she might have thought I'd hurt the business. Anybody that saw me eating would have just assumed it'd come from the anyway.
No. 81754
>>81583>I just want 1 job, a decent job that I don't mind that doesn't make me feel dead insideTo be honest you are "just" asking for what the majority of people in the world are also clamouring for. It's actually a total jackpot to find a decent paying longterm job you don't hate, even with a degree.
I also have the same dream, good luck to us both.
No. 82017
>>81725I am a waitress myself and believe me, I couldn't give less fucks about what people do, as long as
I don't get in trouble for it. You think the waitress would have given one single fuck about the food if she didn't had to? Probably not. But I assume since she cared so much, she made some bad experience in the past and assumed the food was not allowed there. And just because
you get special treatment from a chill manager doesn't mean every customer does.
And even if it's only an outside table, it's still part of the cafe. As far as my experience as a waitress goes, the restaurants/cafes want to make maximum profit out of you. They don't give one single fuck if you can't enjoy your wraps in the sunshine because there's no bench. They only care that they have to pay rent, their staff, costs, etc and they don't want you to sit around there all day and consuming food
they themselves didn't profit from. Even a $3,50 coffee doesn't entitle you to see the cafe as you free space you can use to your will for an infinite amount of time.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but this is how most people running this buisnesses think, and what's drilled into their staff's head.
>>81834>>81852To be honest, I'd never bring food from outside to a cafe. I would consider it super rude, too, if someone I'm with would do so. But maybe that's just me, or our country handles this stuff differently.
No. 82022
>>82017Even if the café doesn't make vegetarian wraps?
How can they profit from an item they don't even provide?
No. 82024
>>82022They'd rather have you taken something from their menu instead. And they obviously can't cater to everything and any taste. Maybe they don't want to to wraps, maybe it's not going to make enough profit considering there seems to be a great wrap store around the corner, or whatever reason. You could ask the manager and suggest they add it to the menu?
I can see your point, all I can say is that from my experience in gastronomy and management, it's not that simple. Yes, they would prefer you to eat their own food, and even if this doesn't suit you, they'd rather not see you eat anything than someone else's food. Don't ask, but that's the logic with many of them.
No. 82025
>>82024Fair enough, I mean I can definitely understand that point of view.
Still salty af though because the waitress really was condescending though and it was done deliberately as well.
You know when people lock eyes with you, smile with their teeth bared and speak in that overly saccharine drawl? I wanted to hop the counter and fuck her with my cheese and pickle wrap.
No. 82072
Fuck this is so stupid but I just want to let it out.
Got out of an abusive relationship, he had been seeing someone but convinced me he stopped talking to her to be with me, which was a lie. This girl is a couple years older, has no fucking talent, has the personality of an edgy Facebook aunt, and looks like a chubby gremlins faced midget. I dated this guy during the worst time in my life, so it was easy to break my heart over and over with his bullshit and manipulation. I still am so angry, even though he's old and ugly- it actually makes it worse that he looks so gross now, because I allowed him into my life and heart.
Fast forward to dating another narcissist, he eventually baited me into a HUGE blow out argument because his insecurities were building up and he had become pretty obsessed with me. I had fallen in love with him quickly for many valid reasons, but his dumb fucking little baby man ego got in the way. He still thinks that I was being "crazy", but he yelled more than me and was the most insufferably endless void of emotional neediness, and I became annoyed beyond belief and called him out on his bullshit. This fight happened before a really huge life event thing he promised to help with, so naturally that sabotaged it. He is also a giant petty baby, and I have the unfortunate fate of having to interact with him tomorrow.
This leaves me heartbroken and now I have attached myself to this guy across the country (friend of a friend) who isn't even really cute but has a compelling personality and is friends with my friends in that area. He's also older and states that as one of the reasons why we can never date, and that the other main one being that I'm too attractive for him and he admitted to being kind of mental and that he would worry way too much if something was to go wrong. But of course we sexted because whatever it's fun, and now he's dropped that he's starting to see a girl who I think doesn't even live too close to him and can't be much older than me. Because the few men that I'm actually attracted to just personality wise end up being so shitty I've never felt so alone in my life and that's how I end up with these creepy relationships.
I just needed to post my mess of a dating history recently. Also during this time my best friend decided to fall in love with me and when I changed my mind about fucking him he stopped talking to me. Men are so cool.
No. 82118
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>>82115lol they're not the same thing.
>the American educational system at work No. 82276
File: 1458456715027.jpg (106.99 KB, 800x595, 1458206805713.jpg)
I forgot how bad I am at socializing, especially online.
I'm trying to find a Japanese person to play Dragon's Dogma Online with, someone who wants to learn English so there's a fair exchange going on and I don't feel like I'm being a burden or using somebody. I'd also want them to join my vidya group's mumble channel.
My first stop has been Interpals, and I've found a few good candidates. I just can't bring myself to message one of them. I can't socialize in-game either.
I've barely played the game 5 minutes and I'm already paralyzed by indecision and self-doubt.
I really do not like the idea of trying to talk to strangers.
I was going to post this in /vidya/ but this seems more appropriate.
No. 82278
File: 1458460391803.gif (622.33 KB, 383x286, fuck this.gif)
I really need to stop going to /cgl/.
Its not them, its me. I just get annoyed in threads. I dont often post and definitely not to continue an argument with a salty seagull. But I just get so irritable sometimes being there. I must be autistic or something
No. 82313
>>82278Just block it from your phone or computer. It's pointless being there since the janitors got so uppity anyway.
But on the other hand, this place is going so far the other way with all the racism and far right political leanings. Why can't we have a happy medium?
No. 82319
>>81583Fuck, this is why I'm NEET.
I tried college but couldn't settle for a major and with the money and time invested I felt like it would've been a waste anyway because, reality, nobody wants to hire someone who's anti-social. The majority of work out there requires interacting with people, there's no dodging it, and settling for that kind of job, if I could even land one, would wreck me.
No. 82333
>>82331You'd think after 10+ years of me telling them this they would maayyybeee think it really does bother me, but they're really kind of the sort that are "We're your parents, it's different when we do it" type.
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if a decent portion of my anxiety comes from this,
No. 82373
>>82094Try living in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts.
… :(
No. 82447
File: 1458516150755.jpg (40.28 KB, 680x491, sKS1WX5g.jpg)
Sorry to be that guy.
So, i had this cute bichon frise, and ever since she died i have felt guilty as fuck. I thought she just had mastitis and it wasn`t really someting to worry about, until she had to be hospitalized at age 11. That mastitis ended up being tumors, cervical infections, weak kidneys, all that shit. I still feel like garbage for ignoring the mastitis. Call me retarded, i probably have an extra chromosome, i still feel like shit. She looked fine, she looked happy, i`m probably just a shitty dog owner. I didn`t deserve those tail wags that she gave me when i visited her, i`m a horrible person. I`m just happy she silently went away in her sleep,a thing that she loved to do. Nothing washes away the crappy feeling that i fucking neglected her symptoms.
>picture semi related
No. 82460
>>80876Fuck this is me right now. It feels like I'm just a stupid loser with shitty grades, even after I try so hard to study for hours and turn in my work. It's always subpar and I never fully understand shit. It's like I'm going nowhere with my life.
This coming week I hope to go to more office/tutoring hours though. I think what helps me is remembering that 1. not everyone is going to be able to do the same things and 2. being smart takes a lot of work and it can't all be done by yourself. It really does still feel discouraging but I guess this kind of stress can't be helped. Just keep trying and working at it, because moping about being stupid hasn't worked for me, and I'm sure it doesn't work for anyone else either.
No. 82477
>>82447Who the fuck cares about dogs or animals just buy a new one
>inb4 you dont have a dogYes I do but if she dies id be a bit sad but id buy a new one.
No. 82481
File: 1458530710316.gif (82.36 KB, 500x273, large.gif)
I thought I was going to have a nice fwb situation this year but this friend has dropped the ball so hard in communication. I'm tired of trying to initiate and waiting around to hear from them. Thought there might be something to be said this weekend when I saw them, but they fucking danced around the issue. So fuck them. I don't care how good the dick is if they aren't going to give a shit. And if they weren't interested in this kind of deal, they should've manned up and fucking said so earlier.
I just want a friend I can hang out with and bang. Why is that so difficult to find, it's not like I'm hideous.
No. 82516
I moved out of my parent's house almost three years ago because I was becoming seriously ill and needed to get away from the toxic environment. It isn't been daisies and sunshine, but it's a Hell of a lot better than what was. However, shit has started to hit the fan and I don't really know how to react.
My relationship with my partner of a little over a year is on the rocks. I still love them, but it's starting to be too much (probably because I have a fear of love thanks to the reference I have). I've come back to visit my makers and my fears have been confirmed: it's most likely that my they will get a divorce within the next year due to, what appears to be, my father's relapse into alcoholism (except, compared to what it was before, that was just a blooming of the addiction).
I've been talking to my mother in private and she told me that she's met someone who makes her happy. They're just friends right now and nothing has happened, but if the possibility was there, they'd probably go for it.
I'm happy for her, which is weird and upsets me deeply. I want my mother to be happy because, lately, her marriage with my father has been a strenuous job which is affecting her paying one. She says she hasn't been happy in the relationship for years and that the moment she realised she was no longer in love with my father was about two years ago. I totally understand why, seeing as how my father doesn't only treat my mother the way he does.
I'm really confused. In these types of situation, the kids are usually mad at the parent that leaves, but, in my case, I'm fucking relieved. It doesn't feel right, though.
In all honesty, I'm scared of what would happen to my father if he lived on his own. He would probably move countries, because he can't manage to live on his on where they currently live. I don't want to lose my dad.
Another issue is that I have younger siblings who are underage. One of them is currently a sponge and is picking up on all the habits my parents have, which scares me. When they were young, they used to be so curious about the world and wanted to read, but because my mother is being worked to death to maintain the family and just a lack of attention from my father, all they do now is sit in front of the TV. In the time we've all been at home since I've been back, the television has been on. I'm not saying that they or anyone else shouldn't watch shows or films, but my siblings aren't being stimulated at all in an extremely important (época) (sorry, I don't know the word in English) of their development.
Besides that, I don't know what would happen with the custody, seeing as how my mother would probably stay here and my father would move to another continent. I'm really worried for them and I'm terrified of them living alone with my father. My mother says the only reason she hasn't left him yet is because she doesn't want to fuck up my siblings' lives, but the relationship my parents have already is, and has already caused me a lot of issues as well.
I don't know how to feel. I've cried about it, but I just felt.like an imbecile afterwards. As I said before, I'm completely on board with mt mother's decision, even though it's kind of sad. Honestly, I think I'm starting to resent my father for it… I mean, he let his famiky slip away and he's been given chance after chance. But I'm scared for him, too.
It's pretty much done, though not yet official. My mother has already told him that she's leaving, she just doesn't know when.
Tl;dr My parents have always had issues, my dad is an alcoholic, and my parents are getting a divorce. I'm fucked up about it for a few reasons, the primary one being that I'm not mad at my mother, rather, at.my father.
No. 82521
>>81583I'm mad about it too. I live alone, I had to move far away from my parents to live in a big city just to study and work part time. Everything is crazy expensive and I barely stand some of the friends I got here because their parents are in the area and they don't have to worry about rent, yet they act like they understand me.
I'm starting to hate my own country. If you're not married with 2 kids, you won't receive any help but you'll be expected to pay for everything. I'm under the poverty line because I'm trying to study but they keep taxing me like a full fledged adult and making me go soon into debts.
One of my classmate had a kid as a teen and her mom take full care of her, yet she receives a ton of help just because she got a mom status (but she doesn't even live with her son and see him once a week).
I'm pretty sure I'm depressed but I don't have any money for a therapist (which is also insanely expensive) and nobody suspects a thing because I have a huge facade of being a party girl, easygoing and carefree. Truth is my only form of entertainment is going to bars with $5 in my pocket and meeting people and dancing, then back to stressing over bills at my place, working all day then working some more in the evening for weeks.
I'm pretty sure I made (and still make) all the good decisions, I picked my own school, nailed an interview for a job in my field, got 4 years of working experience and learned a ton. Yet I'm struggling like crazy because I wasn't born in a rich family from walking distance of an important city.
No. 82691
File: 1458609115131.jpg (314.75 KB, 2197x1463, 577545.jpg)
A really tragic thing happened to me recently involving my family and has thrown me into a deep depression. I've started drinking again and have been wasted almost every day because I can't cope. I feel suicidal.
I feel really disappointed that my boyfriend hasn't stepped up to the plate more to comfort me and make sure I'm okay. I've asked him several times over the past few days to check up on me and just see how I'm doing but he's yet to ask. I'm sure he just forgets or maybe it's because he has his own problems, but I know I'd make it a priority to be there if he was in trouble.
I asked him to watch some funny movies with me to help me relax a few days ago, which he did, but I could tell he really didn't want to, so I haven't asked again. I just want to be comforted and really need support, but instead, I just feel alone and angry. Angry especially that he has gotten mad at me for drinking again but doesn't offer any support to help me stop.
No. 82721
>>82704Thank you, I really appreciate it a lot.
I'm honestly just having a really hard time right now. I'm having to deal with a lot of technical "adult" things by myself while trying to cope with all of this, and I don't really have anyone to lean on since I don't have friends or extended family.
Since all this happened, I've pretty much been cooped up in my house alone, drinking in the dark. I've tried to reach out to some hotlines and stuff, but they've done fuck all, so I'm out of luck I guess.
No. 82749
File: 1458615704608.gif (1019.15 KB, 500x206, zg839bM.gif)
My parents divorced when I was very young, probably 3 or 4, and my mother committed suicide right before my 6th grade summer vacation and I've always had a lot of guilt over it.
When I was a little kid I would hide under tables or cry when other kids tried to talk to me. The first friend I ever made was in 3rd grade because she relentlessly tried to befriend me due to our mutual interest in Pokemon. Every friend I gained from then during my school life was because of her.
In high school one popular girl who was friends with most of our weeby group hated me, said everyone in the school didn't like me and thought I was a stuck up bitch because I never talked to anyone outside my friend group even if they tried to talk to me (because strangers scared the living shit out of me). I got depressed. Got put on a medication that ended up making me very suicidal. Thought about quitting high school, but made it through by the skin of my teeth.
After high school I shut myself off from the world, spent my days playing video games and indulging in otaku things while taking care of my grandma. I stopped talking to all my friends because they started feeling like strangers which was TERRIFYING to me. Got diagnosed with Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder (inherited by my mother) Tried another medication that also made me suicidal quit that and didn't go back to the doctor.
This last year has been Hell.
My aunt died this last December very unexpectedly and I miss her so much. She left me a sizable inheritance and her car. Without her I probably wouldn't be driving (I didn't even get my liscence until two years ago because driving also scared me shitless)
My dad got fired from his job in January 2015 leaving both of us without insurance. He battled prostate cancer and pulled through but is still having TONS of other (expensive) medical issues. ATM, he is having to get blood transfusions twice a week and is frequently seriously ill.
I moved out of my grandma's house to move out with my boyfriend of nearly 7 years(the only person I've kept in touch with since high school) since his parents were kicking him out.
I got a part time cashier job at a large retail chain to provide a little income since although he works full time he does not make much money per hour, and it is killing me. You may not think cashiering is a stressful job, but I dread going in every single day, and often leave in crying. I go to work avoid talking to any co-workers, and leave. I've been there nearly 9 months and still constantly fumble and mess up. Sometimes I think I'm literally retarded. I have such a hard time concentrating and remembering things. One of my supervisors openly dislikes me, and I'm pretty sure other feel the same. I get so terrified of talking to people and what they are thinking of me that it ends up a self fulfilling prophecy and I think they actually do end up disliking me and thinking I'm weird or standoffish. No, I'm just really, really, scared of you. I've had several panic attacks at work while cashiering, either because of a big mistake I made, rude customers, or being threatened by my boss, Trying to be friendly and upbeat while sobbing and hyperventilating is not fun.
I tried going to beauty school this fall, because I like hair and makeup, but I just couldn't handle waking up at 6AM going to school for 8 hours, then working most afternoons directly after that. I know a lot of people thrive on being busy, but all it does is make me extremely anxious and depressed. I only feel like I'm not literally about to die when I'm at home. I also hated that school. Again I felt alienated, no one even tried to get to know me, everyone gossiped about everyone. Even the teachers talked shit about each other openly. If was to much of an awful environment socially for me to take.
I also just quit taking Paxil after starting it 5 months ago. It helped my anxiety VERY slightly, but I gained 50 lbs. 50 lbs. in 5 months. With only a slight increase in appetite. As the weight piled on the pill stopped working. A large part of my anxiety is my fear of how other perceive my appearance. I've been having some bad withdrawals coming off of it too. I don't want to take medication anymore, they've never helped me.
So here I am, nearly 24, now fat, friendless, skill less, insurance-less, no education beyond high school, still working at my first ever job making $9/hr 15 hours a week, hating every single moment of it. Struggling to manage my anxiety and bipolar disorder without medication or therapy, only finding solace while in the safety of my home. Being too afraid to get gas or groceries without my boyfriend's help. Feeling like a worthless piece of shit with nothing to offer society. While worrying every day about my dad's health.
The only things that keep me going right now are my wonderful, supportive boyfriend, and my two cats…
Sorry for the length, but I really don't have anyone to tell any of this to.. This was actually quite relieving.
No. 82761
>>82727Yeah, I bet that's really stressful! I agree with the other anon, you should confront him about it. Especially if the situation is driving you to drink, you're already in a stressful situation and you don't need him to be a dick to you while you're going through it. You need him to be there for you.
My ex-boyfriend was like that and got to the point where he'd laugh about it (when it was something that clearly upset me) or completely ignore me. You don't need that in your life.
No. 82807
File: 1458647039004.png (268.63 KB, 526x570, 85e.png)
I used to have a lot of parties, like 3+ years ago. Moved to a new place recently, with a more open layout, decided to have a housewarming party. Spent ~100$ on food and drinks.
Keep in mind almost everyone at this party was about 25 years old. Quick rundown of my complaints:
>Some guests decided it was just fine to invite people who I didn't even know
>Old female friend brought her baby daddy without telling me
>baby daddy has beef with one of my male friends
>have to tell male friend to wait to come over because this dickhead showed up and I didn't want a fist fight
>Same female friend insulted the free food (some of which I made)
>Guy friend M (21 years old) weighs about 90lbs
>Drinks about 3 beers, passes out on my floor for 7 hours
>this was probably the best scenario
>why the fuck cant people respect their limits?
>BF's Friend Z is socially awkward af, sitting on the couch right next to a table
>Plethora of plates available for him to use
>sets his pizza on the floor in between bites
>oldest friend there finally calls him out on it, he shrugs
>keeps his keys, phone, etc, on the floor as well
>his feet stink like ass
>BF's friends D and J show up already plastered and acting retarded
>D walks right into and almost busts the shit out of my screen door, knocking it off the track
>laughs at it
>J too drunk to stand, hangs on almost broken screen door
>J spits off my balcony, I jokingly say, "aw, that's nasty" - He responds by saying "You're nasty." in a serious tone.
>I say, "Well that's not very nice"
>"I'm not a nice person"
Coming from this kid who was a total beta hippie the last time I saw him.
>J asks where my hot friend T is at, if she's coming
>"I wanna grab her tits."
>Disgustingly rants about my friend's body
I ended up telling T what he said, she unfriended him lol
>J pisses all over my toilet and bathroom floor
>pisses on my new toilet rug
>Denies it was him
>BF has to clean it up
>J is rambling on in belligerence and then starts throwing up in his mouth
>classiestpartyever.mov
>D also throws up in his mouth, dribbles down his shirt
>Party reaches 4am
>D and J still guzzling booze and stomping and yelling
>top floor apartment, have neighbors sleeping
>ask them politely at least 10 times to quiet/calm down a bit
>they don't
>finally get in their faces and yell at them
>they ignore me, continue yelling
>J starts getting aggressive
>says "Fuck everyone here," repeatedly
>specifically targets one friend of mine and just says "Fuck you" right to his face with a dirty look
>BF tells D and J they need to get ubers asap
>D calls his uber and gets the fuck out
>J sits around, still drinking, doesnt get an uber
>BF finally kicks him out even though he never got an uber
>BF sobers up and goes to drive a couple friends home
>J standing awkwardly in the entrance of the building
>no one interacts with him
>BF and I both block J on social media
Never inviting people over to my space again. Still fucking miffed about it several days later. Maybe I seem like a stuck up bitch, but I don't really give a fuck. Adults shouldn't act this way. I put forth my money and my space to have a good time and I got shit on and taken advantage of.
How hard is it to just hang out and have a few beers and smoke without the situation escalating into utter retardation? I need better friends.
No. 82812
>>82807urgh. I would never ever throw a party at my house.
I could not stand to clean up other people's piss and vomit.
No. 82814
>>82807Welcome to trying to throw parties age 25+!
(I would totally come to your party though, we can blaze it in a spare and disco boogie).
No. 82820
>>82807Uh,
no, you don't seem stuck up, I wouldn't have even accepted putting a fucking slice of pizza on the floor or insulting what I'm providing for them (food). The fact that you allowed all of that to happens makes it seem as though you're too lenient.
No. 82836
File: 1458658813607.jpg (50.16 KB, 500x365, 23603371.jpg)
>Live in overpopulated city
>Literally only one park
>No biking, no skateboarding, no pets
>Ok.jpg
>Pretty much a NEET
>Want to go outside for once
>Remember the rules
>Remember I hate running and walking
>Stare at unused skateboard and 500$ bike
>Mfw
No. 82840
>>82659My favorite ASMR videos are ones without talking. I usually end up listening to Deep Ocean of Sounds or Yattemo-jasmr. JUN is also a very goo ASMRtist. It's not that weird to feel interested in making your own! It can be weird depending how you act or talk, I guess. Everyone has their own
trigger for it. I personally only listen to binaural ones and I have a special place in my heart for soft crinkle sounds.
No. 82845
>>82844I have no idea, it doesn't even have trees. It's just a patch of land with a playground lmao.
I would but doing that is pretty much a deathwish, I live in an apartment in the middle of the city and we don't even have sidewalks here and drivers kill bike riders/pedestrians all the time.
No. 82848
>>82814I appreciate that, anon. I'm down to disco boogie anytime with ya m8
>>82820>>82834I am too lenient, indeed. It's something I've been trying to work on, along with a myriad of other personal issues like that. I really should have thrown them out. I felt pretty out of control in general with the situation. Like I said, I got in their faces and yelled at them, which I've never done before. My boyfriend should have backed me up more as well.
No. 82856
>>82814Wtf anon, no. Idk where you're from but that scenario was every party when you're below 25. At that age you've gotten your illegal teen drinking and college shit out of your system and have maybe had happy hour with coworkers.
>>82807You need more mature friends anon. But also, don't feel bad about your inherited friends (your bf's friends)….you almost have no choice with them, but you can at least ban them from your space and life period for being such fuckwads.
No. 82936
>>82929Tell him to fuck himself sideways. He's an asshole manipulator and you don't need that in your life. Nobody does. He is human trash.
Even if he wants to act all nice, block his pathetic self. Let him apologise to the air.
If he calls you a slut, forget it. I don't know any mature adults who would actually treat somebody differently on the word of a lame ex. People who talk about their ex's being sluts are so embarrassing because they never call ladies sluts when they're the ones getting pussy, so we all know it comes from bitterness rather than truth.
Jealousy is normal. Don't pay attention to her social media and don't worry about her.
No. 82954
>>82929What a hypocritical cunt. Ignore him and move on, don't even waste a thought. Delete anything relating to him and if anyone tries to talk about him just say "I don't want to talk about that" and change the topic and repeat as many times necessary.
HOWEVER if you really do think he'll try to "ruin your reputation", why not take example from that woman who refused to be blackmailed with her own nudes. Print screen every conversation of him saying anything aggressive, or earliest proof of his new girl, bait him into having another sperg again and then just post a nice composite of all of it on Facebook with people tagged in it, letting everyone know that he is dating someone else and so now you are also dating, and you wish him the best and you hope everyone can support you both in this decision.
Do not do this unless it's a last resort though, you will look like a complete drama whore to some, but it's a last ditch attempt to reclaim whatever you can.
No. 83045
I'm a lesbian. The thing is, I live in a third world country where homophobia and hate crime is very real. Hell, there are bombings constantly, people keep dying and I can't just live a normal life when isis is knocking the door. This country is full of terror, murder and rape. I will be graduating this year and move to a bigger city, which means there will be a chance of me dying at every corner. I am so fucking scared anons. I keep having nightmares about the girls that get raped and burned alive. I know I will manage somehow, but I don't think I will have a love life until I get the fuck out of this shit hole. If you think different, you are outed and ignored. If you're gay, then you'll be raped. The country is slowly becoming 1984.
Back to the topic… I've only came out to my mom. She was shocked and grossed out at first. I mean, my grandfather was a priest so it's only expected. She thinks being gay is wrong, especially in this country. She's right actually, if you're out as a gay then you have no chance to be taken seriously, no chance of getting a job.
Honestly, getting out of this country is my priority, so i will stay in the closet as long as I can.
If you've read this far, thank you for getting through all off my blabbings. I'm just very stressed out, so I would appreciate any advice or reply from you guys.
No. 83054
>>83045Let me guess, you're from Turkey?
-___- sorry dont feel sorry if you are. If you're from turkey just stay there. Its just as safe in turkey as it is in paris and brussel, so pretty safe. If youre not from turkey (idk where the hell you are supposed to be from since you mentioned isis) then just stay also.
No. 83097
>>82114Where does he live? Check out the legality of that age gap in your country, you could always tip him off to the police. If you were close to the little sister you could reach out to her about it, but only if you 100% know it's something she wants to talk about.
>>82721For now maybe you can focus on the small things, such as making sure you stay showering, eat properly with your drinks and tidy a bit. These are all things that you can do drunk still, but will help you cope better when you are ready to take some bigger steps. Good luck anon.
No. 83237
>>82749My heart goes out to you anon, I have some good advice for you though.
Go try a staffing agency, I got a really nice job that pays well and I don't interact with customers. I test technology, I don't even have a college degree and theres talks of me moving up past a tester.
It's worth a shot, my brother did the same and he makes bank in a company that he got through a staffing agency and he doesn't have a college degree.
It's entry level but they'll pay around 3 to 4 dollars above minimum. Worst case you'll be customer service on the phone or email but it's better than face to face. As someone who has done both and has bad social anxiety, it helps.>>82749
No. 83248
>>80845Listen. I know how you guys feel about men on this website, and I understand but I aint apologizing or leaving. Its a website, what the fuck ever man. For whatever it is worth, I am not a robot or troll. I enjoy this place sometimes and it seems like as good of a time as any to vent.
Basically, I am severely depressed, dysfunctional, have been showing symptoms of FASD my whole damn life (will get into that later), family is ridiculously fucked up and noone knows, am a textbook example of PTSD and other shit. This list goes on. My whole life has been a struggle to keep going on and suck it up. From day one, I have been getting fucked over. It started with my father getting a shitty job and my mother refusing to work most of the time because she is too finicky and a spoiled womanchild brat, so we lived in a mountain village on maybe 25,000 a year. So already theres like no food and my sister would smack me up and take my food, or scream and yell until they took my food and gave it to her. After moving from there and them divorcing, it was downhill. They have everyone convinced they were civil about it, but they have spent years shittalking each other, pitting my sister against me and us against the other parent. All the while, my mother strangled and beat me multiple times when she was angry about anything, especially when she was angry at men. She is a master at existential horror and psychological punishments. She would spend several minutes at a time explaining how I could get left with hateful foster parents or left on the street then picked up and raped like what happens to all naughty little boys who's moms get sick of them. I knew what rape was long before what I knew what proper sex was and was told in graphic detail what would happen and how I would be bleeding and dripping cum from my ass if I went to a men's restroom by myself. I was six the first time they did that.
I fucking wish so bad I could have grown up normal. I really do. Stepfather has done so much good for me, but hes the most steriotypical "beta" (that shit is retarded but can be accurate) male I have ever known. I want to trust women so bad but I cannot and struggle with misogyny and disgust at anything feminine if I dont know somebody. Growing up, I was told to "man up", "stop being a faggot", "be a real man, not a little boy", and threatened with getting kicked out or beaten again. Funny thing? All of this was done by women in the family. And at the same time, no showing aggression, no showing suspicious anger, no looking at women, no masturbation. Apparently that was how rapists, killers, and deviants form. I was taught to be a doormat and always takke a fall for women, no matter what they do. To be a perfect gentleman. My grandfather never once became insulting or purposefully hurtful, but he had his own severely hurtful ideas about manhood. If I did anything about any of it, they right out threatened to get a baseball bat or call the police and say I assaulted or threatened them. Why? "Men need to know their place, this is for your own good." "Boys need to be tamed and shown to stay down". Ive never dated. I had to have them approve of a girl, speak to the girls family before a first date, and they had to know where we were going and doing. Needless to say, I never dated. Ive never had more than four real friends. One of the only girls who was giving me a chance cut it off and buried it all, saying "what future do we have? You know you dont have the money to take me on a real date, just forget it all! Just be a friend." She went on to date a male SJW with a 4 inch dick a grade above us.
Male sexuality was demonized after a certain point, around 10. I have developed so many fetishes and stupid shit. It could be worse but I disgust myself. I specifically remember being evaluated and declared mentally deficient in some areas when I was real tiny. What did she do? Burnt the paperwork and harassed officials and teachers into letting me into regular classes. And what did she do? Treat me like shit for failing them. Sister is the hugest cunt I have ever known. She is a compulsive liar who cannot stop doing coke, partying, fucking and dating sex offenders and drug dealers and being proud of it, then getting upset when I am disgusted with her. She is abusive and a stupid whore. And you know fucking what? As a minority myself, fuck the illegal spics ruining things. Dumb cunts, a majority of them are scum and have no plans to do anything other than breed and stir shit up. Fuck em.
I dont want pitty, I dont want a sob fest. Just fucking read this. I cant stand most men or women, but I wanna be normal and healthy. I know theres a light at the end of the tunnel if I keep studying, working hard, and I work hard to be the most honest and good natured man I can. This is a big part of the reason theres woman hating psychos I guarantee. And just because there is nothing overtly wrong, that does not mean somebody is okay or a family isnt incredibly fucked up.
No. 83255
File: 1458903950571.jpeg (46.37 KB, 620x387, image.jpeg)
This is at best not really anything more than an annoyance, but it really pisses me off when people can't adapt to the culture of the country they are visiting. I'm not talking about like "eat our food/look like and talk like we do" i don't give a shit. What I'm talking about is situations like the one i am in right now. I'm currently on an 8 hr busride through the country, and as is considered common fucking decency here 95% of the passengers are sitting quietly, doing their best not to bother anyone else. If you want to talk, feel free to do so but quietly. Now, I have been on this bus for 4 hours and there are 4 people, right behind me, who wont shut up. They are screaming more than talking, and for some reason constantly calling people and being called. Not having bothered of course to turn their loud ass phones on silent no one in the bus is able to get a second of sleep. Oh and now they're having another call, but this one on speaker!! I can't fucking understand it. If you guys love screaming and annoying people then please ignore my passive agressive scandinavian ass. I'm so tired. Please consider the rest of us and fucking shut up.
No. 83274
Welp. I came here to vent about how I feel I have a problem getting along with any kind of people in general but it looks like people has got worse problems going on around here.
>>83248Man, sounds like a terrible life. I'm curious about you though, mind I ask you some questions?
Do you still live with your sister and those cuntholes? Is your sister younger or older than you?
What are you studying? Do you have any kind of objective for the future? Like, what you want to do with your life after this hellhole.
No. 83290
>>83255In general, I have issues with people unaware of other's personal space and just aren't considerate at all. Speaking lowly in public, not laughing too loudly, etc is what people should be doing. I can't tell you how many times I take the metro and some asshole sitting two rows in front of me has his headphones blasting where I can practically hear the words on the song he's listening to. Why do these idiots listen to their music so damn LOUD?? Why even wear headphones at that point?
(disclaimer: Please wear headphones because I don't want to hear your shitty, shitty music.)
No. 83309
>>83255>>83290Oh God, this so much. I can't even stand people talking to themselves softly, much less blast shitty music in public.
On that note, WHY DO PEOPLE TALK TO THEMSELVES. I can understand reading something out loud to make sure it makes sense, or screaming shit/fuck when you stub your toe, but why oh why do you sit there and narrate the day's events to yourself or complain about what crap your life is. Growing up with a crazy mother sucks ass, this is why this is such a ~
trigger~ for me lol.
No. 83330
>>83309lol I'm with
>>83320, I think most of people "talk" to themselves like in an internal monologue. However it's true that there is some people who's just insane like your mom.
No. 83349
>>83348I don't know about constantly but I do get moments where I feel alone and wish I had someone to chat with. Lately it's been often but normally I'm content with being alone.
Although deep down I want to flake and make an excuse I know it won't be convincing and I'd feel much more awful about it if I did.
Right now I just feel ill and uneasy.
No. 83358
>>83357I have trouble being concise and clear with what I say sometimes, sorry. And you're not overstepping.
I haven't considered journaling before, I'm not sure if it'll do me any good but I may try it.
No. 83361
>>83353I'm like that too! The last time I saw the person that was my best friend at the time was in 2011, and I stopped hanging out with her because of how self conscious about her finding me boring or annoying (my personality seemed to have changed a bit after battling a year of depression). I noticed we had less and less to talk about (because I had no life so couldn't relay any info on what I'd been up to that didn't consist of school and home, and she didn't care to talk about much else).
Anyway, fast forward 5 years later and I haven't spoken to her in months, and prior to that about a year?
Now I nitpick EVERYTHING I say or do at work. Prior to all of this, everyone would say I was too quiet and people didn't really know much about me, and it got even worse during and after my depression. It's like my brain is trying to compensate for all of that and I can't stop talking at work to these 3 specific girls. I tell them all about myself without prompting and relate a lot to myself.
With the other 60+ staff members, I get nervous to even say good morning or hello, which is more of my true personality.
I think that with the four girls, being that I like them so much, I don't want to be forgotten, or for them to think that I don't want to talk to them by being too quiet.
I can tell sometimes they get annoyed and I hold back on saying much besides a greeting some days, but then they won't say much back at all. They always talk with me (except for one who seems to only talk to me when others are around now) and we all laugh together, but I can tell they'd prefer if I were more quiet.
Sorry for basically taking over your post (this is exactly what I'm talking about).
No. 83366
>>83358I don't think it could hurt in the long run. In the short run, yeah, it will suck to have to confront your mistakes, but think about it: would you rather go the rest of your life making the same mistakes over and over again?
Lol, I am not trying to be some kind of white knight, btw - just someone with similar neuroses who is trying my best to become somewhat normal.
>>83361>I stopped hanging out with her because of how self conscious about her finding me boring … I noticed we had less and less to talk about (because I had no life so couldn't relay any info on what I'd been up to that didn't consist of school and home, and she didn't care to talk about much else)Story. Of. My. Life. It is a vicious cycle. I'm currently at home, not really doing much, due to severe depression and a few other comorbid things.
As a result, I cannot advance myself in any meaningful way, because wth am I going to talk about with other people? How I spent the whole night crying because the love of my life got a girlfriend who is actually successful in life and is stable enough to be his partner? Spending the week in bed because I get the worst backaches? Trying to read a fucking picture book and not getting past the first three pages because I can't focus? Come on.
No. 83372
>>83361Yeah, that sounds about where I'm at. I really don't have much to share with this friend since I've been NEET for quite sometime. I don't have a lot going on in my life and I'm very insecure about being too dull.
I don't really compensate for that though. Only when there's awkward silences I'll feel guilty and feel the need to say something, so I'll usually say the first retarded thing on my mind. You can imagine how successful that is. I don't imagine I could ever comfortably open up 100% to others though.
>>83366Yeah, won't hurt to give it a try. It's just usually when I make a mistake I have it playing over and over again in my head and it's tormenting. Maybe writing it down will relieve that. I just hope shit will go down smoothly tomorrow and I won't have anything to write but that's wishful thinking since I haven't had a proper social interaction in forever. We'll see.
>Story. Of. My. Life. It is a vicious cycle. I'm currently at home, not really doing much, due to severe depression and a few other comorbid things. >As a result, I cannot advance myself in any meaningful way, because wth am I going to talk about with other people? How I spent the whole night crying because the love of my life got a girlfriend who is actually successful in life and is stable enough to be his partner? Spending the week in bed because I get the worst backaches? Trying to read a fucking picture book and not getting past the first three pages because I can't focus? Come on.I wish it was more acceptable to talk about this kind of stuff with people irl. That way we could be on more understanding terms. Any time I try and hint at the antisocial and insecure emotions that I'm going through I get weird looks and it gets awkward. I just wish people would understand. It'd make life so much more pleasant and make it easier to move on with things.
No. 83373
>>83372Hey anon, if you want to talk to another NEET, I'd be glad to exchange emails and stuff.
Commiserating is good, but I actually do want to get my life back on track soon, so maybe talking to someone in the same situation will help us both.
No. 83376
>>83373That would be really cool. :3
Post a throw away and I'll email you. Or I can post a throw away, whichever is best. I just don't want my email up on here.
No. 83425
>>83361I've made friends with a coworker exactly like this aw.
I'm sort of the domineering, "mother hen" type friend in the sense that I want to make sure everyone is included and I try to pay attention when someone says something and others aren't paying attention.
I really want this friend to improve and sort of relax and ease into social situations.
I myself have always been completely quiet and in my personal life I choose not to speak but I try to be talkative for others I like, because I like for them to be distracted and lighthearted. It's exhausting though I'll say that.
You'll get better at it.
No. 83440
>>80884Autism report: I'm working at a restaurant as a dishwasher on the weekends. These, of course, are the busiest days of the week and the guy training me for two hours yesterday was even having trouble keeping up with both of us and I work for azns
Fuck.
No. 83494
File: 1459020525846.jpg (53.36 KB, 634x418, article-2388933-1B3C39A3000005…)
Got hit by a big fucking taxi today and fuck me cars are heavy.
Like it only threw me a few feet so I'm just bruised and scraped but I can't get over the force of it hitting me. Like, it wasn't going that fast at all, the guy only reversed into me. Like, you legit forget how heavy cars and vans are until they smack into you what the fuck.
Felt pretty sorry for the driver though, he was pretty shaken up by it. I wasn't really interested in pursuing a claim or anything since nothing was broken.
After the police were done taking details just got up and walked off to get coffee lel
No. 83548
>>83545You'll be fine anon, sounds like you need some time to freak out and panic and be emotive before sitting down to figure it out. You'll be fine - I had to rethink my entire career twice over because of accidents, pianist then dancer then artist. If you can do decent at tests 'n shit in psychology you aren't nearly as dumb as me anon, you've got this.
Also, manual labor jobs depending on the field can be well paid - I used to make fun of kids like that tbh but now they're working HVAC and infrastructure entry jobs with benefits and shit. It's not all terrible, but it does have a social stigma.
No. 83563
>>83500Could be worse. A lot of the kids I was in special education with are all but agoraphobic. I still have sensory overload issues and trouble holding coherent conversation and somebody I was crushing on hard totes guessed I was a sperg and I nearly broke down knowing I'll never be a non sperg.
I wish I had something fun to savant in. People do math and cars but I get stuck with an endless knowledge of clothes and textiles.
No. 83576
>>83274>Man, sounds like a terrible life. It can always be worse. I should clarify it started to get better in many ways jr yr of high school. They had been becoming self aware and scared people were noticing something was wrong with us. My mother has melowed out drastically, but at the same time is suicidally depressed and heavily medicated with antipsychotics and powerful antidepressants. its just so weird how shes a shell of herself in so many ways lately. She i think finally realizes how horribly bad she fucked up especially considering enabling, encouraging, and coddling my sisters psychotic behavior has now started to harm her and other parts of the family. Sister had to move back home after uni and is wreaking havoc. Thwyre afraid to try to kick her out considering what shes done previously.
>I'm curious about you though, mind I ask you some questions?I absolutely want questions asked. I trust noone in terms of talking about this, and right now this is my best way of discussing it with others and spreading the word I guess.
>Do you still live with your sister and those cuntholes?Only for summer anymore, mostly so i can see my stepdad and extended family members who have been mostly actually positive parts of my life. My father is a trainwreck but i feel bad for him. Went from one cunt to marrying another.
>Is your sister younger or older than you?Two years older.
>What are you studying?I wont go into specifics considering my uni has a very one of a kind specific name for it (dont exactly wanna be found). It is basically super toned down computer science that is very business centric. Often leads to systems analysis and database management sort of jobs. I have mental deficits that do affect it but raw effort and being genuine with professors has gotten me far.
>Do you have any kind of objective for the future?Just for now, wake up happier wvery morning and be confident.
im unsure of what kind you mean, but i will tell you I do plan to have a spouse and kids, and a stable and healthy life. Afford lots of food and a gym membership, have a healthy happy and functional family, and a job i can truly appreciate. I dont starve now and havent since i was small, but still, i feel the stable food and resources is important.
>Like, what you want to do with your life after this hellhole.Honestly, since my former "friends" all became neckbeards, SJWs, or some other degenerate and I am undecisive, likely a stint in the army. i know i will be a pawn and will basically be whoring myself out to the govt. However, so be it. I am chosing to take control of my life, and thats final. Im not stagnating like the others or freaking out after college when it all doesnt come together. Im gonna join the military and see what positive impact i can have on it seeing as how there so much whining about what a money-hungry corrupt thing it is.
This thread is for ranting anon. Rant!
No. 83588
>>83572Have you tried seeing a doctor?
Also, speaking from experience, if you're not in a college setting and are not the "stereotypical" ADD/ADHD patient (young, male, hyperactive, dumb), you may have a hard time getting real help :/
Off-label, non-Rx Adderall (ab)use is so common that many doctors are instantly suspicious of anyone who claims they have focus issues.
There are ways around this if you want to experiment with supplements, but that can be risky/takes time, as well.
No. 83591
>>83572I have ADD. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 21.
I spent a looong time thinking I was just messy and lazy. I would get incredibly motivated to do things, leave them halfway, and stop. I find that I become unbearably anxious when I either have too much or nothing at all to do.
I take 15mg of Dexedrine when I need it (school or work mostly.) I have never found myself addicted or needing it when I don't take it. I once took two accidentally and just felt uncomfortable. Some people might look down on those taking ADD medication but if you truly do have the disorder, stimulants will make you feel calmer and collected.
One of the things my psych looked at was my coffee and cigarette intake. I drank 5+ cups a day and smoked a pack a day to feel "ready". Now I do neither.
Doctors are always wary of drug seeking, so bring in anything you can to back up how you feel- behaviours, drug intake (caffiene and cigs, but many people with ADD will abuse drugs to feel calm.) and old report cards are definite help.
Good luck anon!
No. 83606
File: 1459099180321.gif (439 KB, 500x254, giphy (2).gif)
Yay the holidays! Nothing better than getting together with generations of family who like to be verbally abusive, sometimes physically. It warms my heart, this is what easter was made for. As the 5'0/100lbs girl I get the brunt of it. I'm just gonna wait out the storm going on upstairs down here with my rabbit and computer. Have a bunny on a piano for easter anons, hope yours is better than mine.
No. 83654
>>83588I am currently finishing up my last 3 months of college (2 years) but I'm not a male. I have some weird thing about taking certain prescriptions. Personally I'm not someone who has a highly addictive personality but I hate to feel dependent on something? I also have depression but the pills I've taken for that I hated so much. Mine isn't as severe so it's not as bad to deal with without medication. I'm just afraid really.
>>83591
>I spent a looong time thinking I was just messy and lazy. I would get incredibly motivated to do things, leave them halfway, and stop. I find that I become unbearably anxious when I either have too much or nothing at all to do.I do exactly this but do other people without ADD act the same way? Again like I said up there I'm afraid of taking certain pills. My smoking is really up and down. I no longer have a pack or two a day but I'll have maybe 7 in a week. Other than old report cards how else do they really diagnose you? And thank you. Again I don't want to self diagnose so I want to hear more.
No. 83655
>>83627More along the lines of something like Autumn Wynter kek
>>83633My grandmother is about on par with my father in terms of awfulness. I'd rather have a name to call my own.
No. 83656
File: 1459134080889.gif (1.58 MB, 600x337, mz98.gif)
incoherent vent coming
Thinking about the future makes me incredibly depressed. I am super in debt for a graduate degree in something I will only be able to get a shitty introductory job for aka minimum wage aka never going to be enough to pay off my debt. I just want to give up. I graduate this fall and I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder to top it all off so assuming I can even get a job in the field (0.1% chance), I probably can't keep it because social shit is impossible for me long term and I have a medical disorder that fucks any kind of consistency up as well but it's rare and not well researched so not something I can get adjustments or help for or understanding. I'm so fucked. 25 and about to lose my health insurance just fucked fucked fucked.
No. 83659
>>83654I'm currently going through the process and it sucks. I had to fill out a CAARS self report and an observer did one for me (mom). Next I have to go through an interview with my psychologist, even though we've been seeing each other all year and I keep going through the same maddening bullshit even with my antidepressant (while I am depressed, she believes my symptoms are attributed to my depression because many things can mimic adhd). I also have to take a cpt computer test that is supposed to be an objective method but it's really mostly bullshit. Anyway, my old psychiatrist and even my new psychiatrist were/are convinced that I have it, I just have to go through my psychologist.
The issue with people legitimizing adhd is the erroneous belief that everyone can be a little adhd sometimes. When symptoms begin to disrupt several areas of your life to the point that it is distressing you and disabling you from functioning like everyone else—-that's when you really need to see a doctor instead of just believing everyone goes through it.
No. 83665
>>83661My situation is stressful because I'm doing it at school. Like other anons have mentioned, it's difficult through that route because they are weary of drug seekers and malingerers that just want to abuse it to cram. In theory it doesn't take long for you and the observer to fill out the scale questionnaire (it took me 3 days because, like I'm sure I have adhd, mom did it over the phone with me). The CPT is only 15 minutes long. I would've had that done by now if the damn thing hadn't broken down just as I got to my appointment. My issue with my psychologist is just relative to my situation (I just feel like she's too focused on the reason why I'm fucking up my life is because of my depression/anxiety).
Honestly anon, I've been taking meds for 4 years and seeing the psych for 2 quarters and all that's done is make me less suicidal, but the problems persist to the point where I have to have my bf manage my grown ass life. Don't let it be an afterthought, seek help before you get so overwhelmed and are unable to function.
No. 83692
>>83664She liked the attention you were giving her but probably had no real intentions of having this go anywhere since she already had a bf. Either that or it went too far and she felt like she had to go along, maybe because she does like you a bit, but not enough to want to do anything about it, and didn't want to upset you.
This post plays out like an episode of Catfish tbh.
No. 83697
File: 1459161784032.png (74.83 KB, 506x608, 1459122490078.png)
>>83692Guess I got played again, heh. Finally thought I could experience a bit of happiness then I get kicked in the balls like this. I fucking hate everything. i fucking give up>>83692
No. 83700
>>83662It's not actually Autumn Wynter nigga that's just an example.
My first name is pretty common and more natural sounding. It's not THAT bad considering a lot of people apparently don't know the meaning of my first name so can't connect the parallel, but for those that do… eurghhhhhhhh
I need to pick a new last name, something that's normal but flows together in unison….
No. 83701
File: 1459169402065.png (165.38 KB, 1500x2173, 7-Things-Mindful-People-Do-REV…)
>>83694You have to accept that as humans we have no control over our past, but absolute control over our future.
There is such a thing as healthy contemplation which is in opposition to repetitive mental torture, which is what you're probably inflicting on yourself.
When you're running these thoughts through your head repeatedly you have to consider, who is it helping? Is it helping the people that you've hurt? Is it helping you? How much energy are you wasting mentally flagellating yourself when that energy could be used towards something that's going to help you move forward and grow as a person?
Honestly Anon you sound like the kind of person that would benefit enormously from practices such as mindfulness meditation, which isn't sitting around with your legs crossed or anything, but any action that allows you to temporarily forget concepts such as the past and future and exist only in the present.
Actually playing video games is one example of mindfulness (but not necessarily a beneficial one), because when you're playing a video game you forget all about your past, all about your future, and your mind is concentrated on getting the new piece of armour, getting the new high score, attaining the achievement etc.
Nothing else matters so long as you have that present in mind. You need to be able to harness that kind of concentration and turn it towards yourself.
If you're uncomfortable with your past you're going to spend a lot of time running away from it, but running away from this kind of stuff is like running on a treadmill; you end up moving neither forward nor backward. You also need to try lying down, playing some nice ambient music or some shit and actually try confronting yourself about your past actions.
>"why did I do that">"what were the underlying reasons behind my actions">"how can I heal from this">"how can I use my experiences from what has happened to develop into a better person"It's going to fucking hurt, but it hurts to remove thorns from ones body, either way they need to be removed eventually.
The phrase "forgive but never forget" also applies to the self you know.
No. 83715
File: 1459180165105.jpg (11.84 KB, 480x276, 1459126009982.jpg)
>>83711That's why I give up, like you said I'm too naive and get played like this every time. I don't fucking care anymore, it took 10 years to love someone again hope this time it never happens.
No. 83744
>>83739You're probably right, and maybe I'll be able to ask my parents to take me in if it really does come to me getting about to try and kill myself. I feel like I'm trying to grasp at resources to try and stay alive despite being so certain I just want to die, so I suppose there is a bit in me at the moment that is trying to hang on.
I just get really anxious at that idea because I was on a Form 1 here in Canada after I tried my overdose, and it was really traumatic for me. I was put in this childrens' program since I was a few weeks away from turning 18 at the time and I had to stay there for three days under surveillance. I know it's obvious that the program is to watch kids at risk to make sure they don't hurt themselves, but it was just such a terrible experience for me and I got out of there as soon as I could. They had a psychiatrist that I saw but I found that nobody actually 'talked' with me about anything? I dunno, obviously I didn't want to be there so I had a bad view of it and the adult program could be better or worse. I hate the idea of having my phone taken away since my bf is my only source of small comfort, but I suppose if I really was that close to killing myself it would be good to push myself to be put under watch like that.
No. 83745
>>83736What the other anon said is probably a good start, but in terms of long term I would look into making yourself useful.
I know that you're physically weak and probably don't want to go outside but doing something useful for the world with that human body, such as volunteering at a local charity shop or if you're worried about that somehow damaging your chances at disability just pick up trash around your area.
The world is really fucking shit, but there are also a lot of people who are having such a bad time that they can't focus on their own lives. If you can't focus on your own life right now, use this body that you have to try and balance out the world, the world is terrible enough.
No. 83750
>>83744I'm not sure if it's the same in Canada, but I'll be willing to bet adult services will be more focused on talking with you. Sadly, children (underaged people) are seldom taken seriously in the same way adults are. If you go in with the mindset of being open to and seeking help, i bet the people working there would love to help you, and will listen to and talk to you. The other anon mentions making yourself helpful, and although this is a great goal, I think it's important to remember in times of distress to do as on airplanes and put on your own mask first, before helping others. Please take yourself seriously. You sound very intelligent, and sadly, intelligent people tend to want to fight to be independent and to not be "a burden" longer than what is healthy. You know this already, but just as a reminder, when you get help with your mental illness life will gain purpose and appeal again.
No. 83757
>>83665Thanks a lot for the information. It's giving me a lot more to think about.
Thanks to the anons for answering my questions, I don't feel as stupid as I did awhile ago. I'll seek a doctor in the next few months.
No. 83806
>>83748Oh, I'm glad somebody read it.
This kind of stuff, mindfulness, it's helped me expand as a person more than I can communicate. At first I scoffed at the whole spiritual expansion thing because I'd always associated it with religion in the past, not realising that it's entirely separate and highly personal/unique to the individual.
No. 83885
>>83856You can delete them. It's the way of the fuckbois tbh, my friend once almost dated this dude who deleted all chats he had w girls after chatting with them.
HOWEVER, the other person will still own the messages between the two, so unless this guy got into anons fb it doesn't make sense?
No. 83891
File: 1459275376613.jpg (23.18 KB, 494x494, bruning.jpg)
I feel like shit so it's complaining time:
>went to the dentist 3 times because of a broken tooth
>"anon it's because of a medicine you took more than 10 years ago, it fucked up your teeth"
>feel the gap in my tooth, thank god it's hard to see anything
>pay him for the 3 appointments at once, he take money for 4 appointments because my greedy father didn't want to pay him for his own appointment
>expensive either way, it has been more than a week and I haven't been reimbursed as I should yet
>mfw just enough money to pay for the bus this month
>I buy food for myself but because I live with the shittiest family ever, they eat everything in one go so I have to buy and spend a lot outside to eat
>this piece of trash dentist wants me to get one of these super expensive golden tooth replacement (idk what it's called in English) that's not fully reimbursed
I hate being poor so much, I want my €200 back. I'm supposed to get my scholarship this month but in more than a week so I'll have enough time to starve or eat my relatives' food (the kind of things that makes me think, I wonder if I have some kind of allergy or they're just that bad).
That's not all, I feel like shit in general nowadays but it's the usual "I feel bad because I don't have a job and a bf yet, I have shit grades in college and I bet people talk shit behind my back etc." so no need to explain this all that much I think.
No. 83923
>>83891>>I buy food for myself but because I live with the shittiest family ever, they eat everything in one go so I have to buy and spend a lot outside to eatHave you talked to them about it? Ask them if they could set aside some food for you and that you'd really appreciate it. Tell them you haven't been eating well lately.
And yeah, dentists are a bunch of greedy cunts.
No. 84248
>>84246I get this feel anon. Ever since I was little the thought of my parents dying would make me cry and whenever I got nightmares about it I'd wake up with tears and be disturbed about it for days. It still happens, I admit, but I'm just very close with them.
They're starting to get older and they're health is starting to decline. It's awful and I don't know if I can face the reality that one day they'll no longer be in my life.
No. 84499
So a co-worker/"friend" tried to pull a manipulative, passive aggressive fast one on me and basically accused me of some vague, paranoid ~you're deceiving me~ bullshit and it was…weird. Funny thing is, it's all in her head. And for whatever reason instead of dropping the loon for taking her paranoia out on me and trying to manipulate me into God knows what, I'm probably going to still be nice to her, although at this point I don't want to associate with her for being so creepy.
This is dumb as shit but I'm annoyed at myself rn for putting up with anything, makes me feel way too polite. People who are this paranoid about other people who don't even let them into their personal life (God knows I wouldn't be friends with her outside of work) are usually the ones that are the liars and deceivers. Plus she's lied to me a handful of times now (confirmed, I'm not paranoid, it was stupid things) and I haven't even acknowledged it and brushed it off.
I hate meeting IRL cows that truly believe everyone conspires against them and when they want to search for some sort of flaw in you to perceive you as "bad" they'll twist literally anything to suit their negative conspiracies. Because it's impossible for them to believe you're doing better than them.
Most of all I hate how I'm not going to confront her and say "listen, that was really weird and you're honestly nuts." This is becoming a cycle where I'm not taking the trash out while I should. This isn't anything I'd ever consider worth discussing IRL so I'm just using this as a recycle bin, I know it isn't a big deal and she isn't a part of my life but I'm feeling mild annoyance and want to bitch you know?
>inb4 who cares
Nah.
No. 84500
>>83654Sorry for the late response!
I find the difference between laziness and ADD is how it affects you mentally.
I find I will start with a clean organized house and within a day I have EVERYTHING pulled out, disorganized and everywhere. Why? Because I began with a plan to clean that drawer and came up with twenty new ones along the way.
Now, the key part here is how you feel during the "aftermath." I can no longer concentrate to clean up, I feel rushed and anxious and either sloppily try to clean or avoid it altogether.
I also have OCD. Not the cleaning kind, but in the basic cycle of OCD, once I'm stressed out enough, I will do my compulsions and abandon my work, which could last for a few hours. (The compulsions, I mean.)
The key point is that it's a mental disorder. Along with the main symptoms of ADD, you might feel anxious, depressed and sometimes even angry to the point where you lash out at others.
So yes, disorganization is concentration is one thing, but try tracking your moods daily and find a link between ADD-created situations and your moods.
Just to clarify, I have an official diagnosis of ADD, OCD and Bipolar 1. I find that they all intermingle with eachother at times, so take my experience with a grain of salt.
(Though my current medication for the latter two do NOTHING to help my ADD.)
No. 84502
>>84496It's not weird anon, or I don't think so since I had the exact thing. I thought I was asexual and just didn't care about men but suddenly at 22 I would be salivating if a Tshirt rode up on a guy.
Embrace it, go find what you like, enjoy your life. It's better that it happened to us when we can make more informed decisions and have our own rooms than horny teenagers
ps farmhands not cows
No. 84514
File: 1459704906517.jpg (107.28 KB, 425x282, iStock_000014380985XSmall.jpg)
>>84505Hey Anon, see these cables? This is you.
They're all tangled up, and you're not entirely sure how they got there, but they're still able to be plugged in and they're still functional right, so it doesn't really matter? But them crossing over like this, well now most, if not all, of them are unable to be lain out, you can't stretch them across the room, and you're pretty sure that left in this condition they'll eventually become permanently damaged.
The quickest way towards healing any any mental issues, and pervasive jealousy does fall into that category, is deconstruction.
You need to stop ignoring this mess of cables and begin deconstructing them, untangling them and laying them out flat and figure out which is for what and what goes where.
For starters, why are you jealous?
What are you jealous of?
Is your jealous born of anger, fear, sadness?
Why are you feeling these things?
What are you afraid of losing?
What will happen if you were to lose this thing?
Why do you believe that you'd be unable to cope with this thing?
Is it that you don't believe in your capability?
Why not?
What can you do to begin raising your confidence?
Just a tip; people who are confident and secure in themselves as a person are never jealous. That's what you need to set as an end goal here. If you're jealous it's because deep inside of you, some part of you is horrible insecure.
You need to seriously sit down and start confronting these thoughts, like, seriously, before you cause any permanent damage.
No. 84540
>>84517Jesus christ this reminds me of my cousin's boyfriend who follows suicide girls on facebook and my poor gran probably has to see him share softcore porn on facebook. has to be something
Unrelated but I don't think i'd get a time to post this any time else.
No. 84544
>>84531I mean I would have dumped his ass if he did this during our relationship but this was all prior to meeting me and dating me. He eventually deleted his twitter altogether once we officially started dating but I couldn't let it go.
>>84540Yes my bf was big on suicide girls as well! I didn't really understand the appeal but I guess they kind of pander to the gamer/nerdy crowd nowadays. Tell him to delete all that stuff on his facebook if he hasn't already. It's dumb and suicide girls suck
No. 84570
>>84531You're nitpicking her good advice.
Her example is about recognising that you yourself are insecure and doing something about it is a good thing, the argument about what you are and aren't confident with your partner looking at is a different matter.
No. 84590
>>84572Same here. I'm capable of making friends, but I never feel close to them. Plus I always feel like I don't mean much to them.
I've never had a true best friend either.
No. 84611
>>84572Kind of in a similar boat. Good friends are rare and hard to come by. I've never had close friendships, no matter how much time invested (and I mean years). Nobody really took a real interest in who I am or what I like and I had to resolve to putting up a facade for a long time just to get along. And I understand the jealousy, definitely.
In a way, I'm content with my circumstances and am fine being by myself for the rest of my life if it comes down to it. There's a comfort and security in accepting that.
Also, why does it matter whether a guy wants to fuck you or not?
No. 84625
>>84600This is
>>84590 speaking. Even the friends I've known since elementary school (I'm in my 20s) I never felt close to. Time hasn't made a real difference, and the people I'm befriending are mostly open, social people.
I get that a grown adult is not going to spill everything to their BFF, but I've simply never had that feeling of close (unconditional?) friendship with anyone. I guess I'm a loner by nature. :/
No. 84630
I think good, lasting friendships aren't necessarily made from time or amount of interaction. If you've ever heard those human interest stories about the one friend they've had for 50 years it's usually linked to some significant event or important characteristic of the person. Like the one friend out of everyone who visited you everyday in the hospital, or something.
And do you need to know every detail about a person's life to be best friends, or do you need to even be mutual best friends? Genuinely curious, the person I consider my best friend isn't someone I converse with often, but we've been friends since high school and I feel like out of all my friends, and including my bf, she understands me the most. She's really outgoing and has a lot more friends, and a lot more closer, long term friends then I have, so I'm probably not her bestfriend (tm).
No. 84634
>>84630>the one friend they've had for 50 years it's usually linked to some significant event or important characteristic of the personWhen I was a kid I dealt with two friends moving away, one abandoning me because her friend that moved away a few years prior moved back, one died, and then I dropped one who did something that really hurt me (and she moved away shortly after anyway) over the course of a few months. At the time, I had other "general school friends", but those were the only ones I hung out with. I eventually stopped being around those school friends as well.
From then on I had/have no friends. I get along with people just fine, I'm friendly and stuff with coworkers and other people who I see often, but, by my definition of what a "friend" is, they are not.
However, there is one person who, while they don't meet my definition, is probably the best friend I will ever have, basically because of what you've said. We met years ago after posting on the same website, and spent a lot of time talking with each other and a small group of other people. We've never met in person (though the topic of "if you're ever in my area…" has come up), but we've emailed and texted and have talked on the phone. They're the only person that I truly, truly care about. I don't even care for/about family members they way I do them. We're both a little mentally screwed up and listen to the same depressing songs and could definitely use better lives, but they showed up at the right place at the right time for me and I am forever grateful. For them, for them being them, for everything.
If there is anyone I want to be in my life 50 years from now, I would hope it'd be them.
No. 84647
File: 1459747999409.jpg (22.24 KB, 500x375, ijE6UlG.jpg)
>>84514Thanks, that was very helpful. I guess my fear of being replaced takes a tool on me.
>>84517I tried to do that to raise my confidence before too. I still feel shit about myself. Im glad it worked out for you though
No. 84649
>>84638Ok I work at a busy cafe and honestly it is hard to find a good dishwasher… do you buff/put away the dishes as well?
if so, spend less time cleaning them BEFORE you put them in the dishwasher. just rinse/wipe really quick and put in the dishwasher. it takes less time to get off the few things you missed than to spend ages on each individual plate/fork/whatever
other than that, some people are just.. slow? and honestly not suited for busy environments. we have to trial so many people because lots of people just arent fast enough, this goes for front of house as well
if all else fails try copious amounts of coffee and stimulants
No. 84797
I was pretty upset today. As I got on the train to go home, I noticed a girl in her late teens/early 20s with bright red hair and a rather large jacket on that was left unzipped. Underneath she had on what appeared to be a crop top that exposed most of her boobs. Anyway, every guy 30+ was starring at her as though she was the second coming of Jesus. Young guys took a quick glance and looked away, as did 99% of the women no matter what age bracket they were in.
I notice this group of foreigners towards the first exit in the train car taking glances at her. One of them, the one who was almost breaking his neck to get a better view of her, makes his way, along with a rather large suitcase to stand next to her. She was seated right next to the second exit, which I suppose made it convenient for him. I think she notices because she puts on her headphones and proceeds to zone out to the music.
This guy doesn't take a hint and repeatedly loses his balance trying to look at her chest. His pals decide to come over with their 9 giant luggage bags and the girls stare just as hard as the obsessed guy. He then pulls out a phone and takes a picture of her and acts like he didn't when one of the girls he's with says something (by the speed of which he put it away and blushed).
Their stop comes and they get out, only to walk back the distance they did while in the train to get to the nearest exit. What the fuck was the point of following that dumbass if it only took you farther from the exit? Granted, they could have been new to nyc and thought that guy knew best, but they had someone who spoke english and was telling them where to go. I think they just wanted to see some c cup tits too.
I found this all too strange because it's not like Europe has this huge ban on skin exposure, especially breasts, so I didn't understand the need to gawk.
No. 84857
>>84814It's not your fault. You stayed friends with someone who knew he was being friendzoned. Don't let people make you feel resonsible for other people's problems.
maybe you should not be friends with him anymore. Maybe he's using a suicide attempt as a way to guilt you into dating him. If that's the case don't let it happen. You will be miserable and feel trapped.
No. 84858
>>84814No way, these people are not your friends, they do not care about your feelings. If they did they wouldn't blame you for someone taking their own life just because you weren't interested. There is a difference between romantic and platonic feelings. You can speak to someone and be nice to them without wanting to date or fuck them. They should know that but are trying to guilt trip you into thinking you behaved the same in all situations (i.e. you led him on because you didn't treat him like a friend but a love interest).
The fact that this guy would end his life, literally something you cannot gain back, tells you how unstable he is. The fact that he was planning on do it just because you're not dating him seals the deal. The fact that he didn't succeed tells you it goes beyond that and he's just trying to manipulate you.
No. 84902
I'm turnibg 21 in July and everyone seems to try to hint me that I should wear more stuff like pic related because I'm "too old" to wear black/grey/white clothing all the time.
It's not that it doesn't suit me or I can't make a good outfit, it's just that I've been dressing like this since I was 13 because my brother, cousins and friends were all punks/alt and it's simply something I grew up with and I was always more of a tomboy. My family and bf just want me to look more "mature" and feminin. The idea of wearing anything like that really makes me cringe. It looks good on other girls but I just can't imagine myself wearing something like that. I don't feel good in light/bright colored outfits, feels like it draws too much attention (which is probably the exact opposite of what it does). I also feel like it's a bit "too soon" to dress this "mature". I didn't really have much of a childhood as a kid because of anxiety and depression - no going out, parties, (crazy) adventures, traveling, dumb shit you'd usually do as a kid/teen. I also regret never getting a facial piercing or dying my hair unatural colors because it was always: "How do you think you'll get a job looking like this?" It's not like I was ever planning to go overboard with this shit, I know there are limits and what isn't accepted at work, I'm not that retarded.
I'm doing my best to adapt to this "mature" look but god it's hard. I've even broke down in tears because of it (I know, pathetic). I guess I just have to shut up and swallow.
No. 84903
File: 1459886302840.jpg (53.65 KB, 500x503, 210.jpg)
>>84902Sage because it didn't post the pic
No. 84910
>>84902>>84903Why do you care so much about what other people say? It's none of their buisness what you wear. As long as you don't dress like an idiot at work or run around in fetish gear in public I don't see any problem. Just ignore them.
There's this expectation especially on women that once you're in your twenties you are not allowed to have anymore fun, don't wear any alternative fashion or have "weird" hobbies, and at 30 you're basically supposed to be a yoga pants normie soccer mom or dead. Many people don't seem to realise that you might have unconventional taste in clothes or hobbies after your teens, so they get irrationally angry over this.
As said as long as you don't offend anyone with your clothes, why give a fuck? Why force yourself to wear clothes you absolutley hate so much? Dress like you want. And as someone who wears clothes that can be considered alternative, let me say, these comments will usually mostly stop, and the few times a year you get to hear them you can just laugh them off and change the subject.
Also, there are places that accept unnaturally coloured hair and/or sublte piercings. And you could always wear a natural coloured wig to work or take out the piercing.
No. 84917
>>84910I know you're right…
It's because of the people I'm around. It's just a very traditional/super christian country.
My mother (dads passive/neutral af) sees me as the family disappointment and she's verbally abusive. About two months ago I bought skeleton hair clips just because and she literally followed me around the house and kept telling me how ugly/useless they are etc until she realized that she won't get a reaction and told me to just kill myself. After more than 10 years this shit does affect you a bit.
My bf's family is also strongly against anything alt related besides tattoos and currently I'm trying to get out get a job in his town so it's also a bit of a problem.
But, yea you got a point
No. 84932
>>84929>>84902Forgot to add, as you get older you probably will find that little bits of colour slip into your daily dress. It's just something that comes with time and evolving tastes.
The other day I bought a 'salmon' Summer dress - SALMON!
No. 84987
File: 1459940045988.jpg (24.7 KB, 552x237, FB_IMG_1458837097660.jpg)
>tfw getting ghosted by crush
That's what I get for being a crazy obessive little shit, just fucking end my existence.
No. 84988
>>84932I used to wear all black and grew and honestly I'm still into that. Not because "lol I'm so goth and edgy" but because I'm just drawn to those colors. But I did start buying some blues and burgundy. I even got into brown when I previously hated it.
I do have a green skirt that's nice. I just wish i had gotten it in the next smaller size. But I really wanted it and that's the only size they had left.
I think salmon would look dreadful on me. I like lavender but like light blue it brings out a weird part of my olive undertone and makes me look ill.
No. 85009
File: 1459951068772.jpg (55.53 KB, 600x338, image.jpg)
I deactivated my Facebook account a few weeks ago, none of my friends have really talked to me in years and I never used it unless an aunt or cousin messaged me. I expected one of my relatives to ask about it because so many of them use fb but noone's said anything. My sibling texted me one night about how funny and weird one of my posts was and it was a comment I made about a videogame 3+ years ago.
It feels kind of pathetic but at least I don't have to see all the emails in my inbox anymore.
No. 85014
>>85009Sorry about what your sibling said, anon. Really strange that they were digging through your 3+ year old posts?
I'm in the same boat as you. I hated logging onto Facebook because my newsfeed was full of people travelling, partying etc. and generally being happy. Didn't have anyone to talk to so I pulled the plug.
Making friends as an adult is way harder than it should be.
;_; No. 85015
>>85014Diff anon here, but this is why I stopped using Facebook. I haven't pulled the plug on it because I'm still holding out hope that I'll get my shit together.
They say that everyone looks happy and healthy on FB because people only ever post about the good things, but I literally don't have anything happy to share. People might not be 100% happy, but at least they have friends and family and go on vacation and get married and do stuff. What the hell do I post about, going to target to pick up tampons and vitamins? Because that's seriously the highlight of my week.
No. 85017
>>85014>>85015Facebook has always seemed like a 'Keeping up with the Joneses' kind of thing where people flaunt and compete to show that they're still relevant and hip. It's a vapid circus. If it makes you unhappy (which is no surprise -
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563214001241) stop using it and delete your account. You'll feel much more free, see where your real relationships are, and you'll forget the website within a week.
No. 85021
>>85016Jesus Christ you guys, I thought I was the only one, this is why I stopped using Facebook. I still look at it sometimes and it's nice that people still tag me in things, but I only respond if people really need to know something (relative's phone number for important news or something).
I gradually got more depressed and anxious after my dog died two years ago (the only thing I loved), then a year ago a guy I'd been seeing for a year and had been friends with for several years (I'm 32 and I've never had a boyfriend because I'm such a fuckup so we were just friends who fucked when he had the time/opportunity) dumped me by simply ignoring me (so I wasn't even sure for months if I had been dumped), and my anxiety went through the roof. FB notifications and messages, then texts got too much like pressure and I couldn't handle it. In the last few months I've started getting palpitations/panic attacks even just at the thought of going to a cafe with a friend or relative.
I've finally gone to the doctor about it though, got a follow-up appointment after some blood tests and an EKG next week.
Sorry for the long whinge, and for what you guys are going through.
No. 85031
>>85026I don't think you're a bad person just for being annoyed. We all have different tolerances.
Low-functioning autistics don't bother me, but I can't stand the medium- to high-functioning ones who don't understand basic social decorum and tard rage when they don't get their way. I think it's because a lot of them are capable of behaving decently but refuse to due to being enabled or whatever.
No. 85045
>>85026In these situations, if you can leave, you are better off just moving elsewhere.
He doesn't have the same level of ability to just get up and go wherever he wants like you do so enjoy using that ability.
It's the same as when a baby starts screaming, I'm sure the parent would like to be somewhere peaceful too but they're stuck with it, I'm not and so I'm taking my coffee to go or whatever.
As for loud children or functional adults? Tell those fuckers off.
No. 85093
File: 1460013231452.jpg (53.9 KB, 600x600, 5aa.jpg)
>tfw chatting with someone you think is cool
>start messaging each other daily
>over think your messages and take extended amounts of time than normal to reply
>every time you hit send you anxiously wait and start nitpicking what you wrote and get really insecure
>tfw this person normally responds within an hour after reading
>been nearly 3 days and no response
>see that he's been online lately
I know I shouldn't care so much but it hurts. I think he stopped responding because I came off like a dull, cringey try hard. Why am I such a faggot?
No. 85095
>>85031Well you shouldn't confuse meltdowns with temper tantrums. Are they raging because they don't get their way, or because they are in pain? Most people don't know the difference, so they are either enabling tantrums, or punishing someone who is simply in pain.
The point is that they can't understand basic social decorum. They might be able to copy you, or script it, but they can't actually understand it. So if you think not looking you in the eye or not being able to read between the lines is misbehaving, you are wrong. They simply can't do it. It's not that they don't, it's that they can't.
Having a temper tantrum, IS obviously misbehaving, but it's easily confused with a meltdown.
No. 85099
>>85015>What the hell do I post about, going to target to pick up tampons and vitamins? Because that's seriously the highlight of my week.Me too anon, me too. I go to uni and come home, rinse and repeat. That's all I do. I know that Facebook is a presentation of people's best, but it still really fucking sucks to see people being happy, even if it is fleeting.
I think what gets to me the most is that it's a reminder that I'm stuck in the same place whilst everyone else is moving forward. They're making new friends, gaining new experiences, getting married, and I'm still a sad sack that can barely even get up in the morning.
>>85021You sound like you need a good hug anon, you've gone through so much. I'm sorry about everything you've gone through, and I sincerely wish all the best for you and your recovery. Good job on seeing the doctor, it's a huge step in the right direction. Hopefully your follow-up goes well.
No. 85111
>>84299fucking hell, anon. my anxiety has been through the roof lately and i've been drinking more and more. i don't know how to into sober interaction and when i do drink with people i overdo it and attempt to jump their bones / go mental. i've not had sex sober in 4 years. in fact, i've only had sex sober… twice, i'd say? in my entire life.
i get really horrid anxious thoughts unless i'm drunk, to the point i sit around for hours unable to focus on games or movies, nevermind actual productive tasks.
please relate to me
someone
No. 85114
>>85111I know that fucking feel anon. My ex-girlfriend got me onto drinking, and when she left the drinking stayed. The first time I lost my virginity I was drunk and started bawling about getting molested when I was 13 halfway through.(this was at 15 years old)
2 years later and I had started pounding cough syrup regularly, I had some really fucking awful trips. Wasn't enough to stop me. The worst one I ever had was when I was 17 and freaked out after I started bleeding during phone-sex with another girl's boyfriend. Who I started seeing after, again, getting drunk, licking his hand, and then crying about my sexual abuse.
I've been clean for awhile now, trying to make up for my past mistakes and make something of myself, but fuck if it isn't hard. I just can't relate to people, I think that's my whole problem. Even people who share my interests or are kind and sociable….. I just feel uncomfortable around them. Sometimes I think I wasn't meant to be alive. It doesn't matter how many people I surround myself with, unless they fit in a certain niche, I just find myself lonely
No. 85115
>>85114yeah, me to.
Doing numbing drugs at an early age really fucked with my social skills.
I started alcohol and opiates when I was 15 (I assume by cough syrup you mean Codeine?).
I can stay clean but when I do I'm incapable of social interaction because lack of interest, anxiety, everything.
So I have to chose between either a) being a functioning addict or b) being a sober anxious and lonely mess.
Did you ever try therapy to process the abuse?
No. 85125
>>85115not so much codeine as dmx. I brought it up once in therapy when I was younger, and the guy stopped me and told me that he was a mandated reporter… At the time the idea of going through with getting him arrested seemed too overwhelming. He's off somewhere in the military now. I doubt he even remembers me.
Luckily, I'm in a place right now where I don't have to deal with any people. Just got out of high-school and am basically living like a NEET, trying to find work. I'm going to college this summer though, and I'm terrified.
Have you ever tried medication? I took zoloft in middle school, and while it screwed up my stomach and did jack-shit for my depression, It made me less anxious.
No. 85184
I've been in a lesbian relationship with a woman that's really, really beautiful and although I love her and consider her my muse, sometimes it feels difficult to keep up. And she has a disorder that makes her…a challenge but even then we're closer than anything I've ever experienced.
In all ways, I should feel grateful and fulfilled. I've always hated how hard it is to find a committing woman, as they always leave you for men, but I'm finding myself becoming an ouroboros and it makes me feel sick.
I picked up a second job and befriended a man there outside of work. He keeps to himself and to avoid rumors we don't correspond much at work but even my friends point out how sweet he is. He's the most gentle and kind person I've met, and although I've never been attracted to masculinity physically, he treats me so well that I feel magnetically attracted to him and the safety he offers. In fewer words in attempt to keep this somewhat detached, his personality is the most genuine and unique, and he's very wholesome and deserves a lot of attention he doesn't get because of some devestating events in his life and yada yada.
It scares me that I could be attracted to someone like this when I've always considered my girlfriend the object of all my worship and affection. Not once have I ever felt anything for anyone else, and it scares me even more that it's just some random seemingly unassuming dude. I'm quitting very soon with some willpower but it's gonna be really hard for me to ghost him. Plus if she found out she'd probably beat the shit out of me, rightfully so.
I'm ultra aggravated with myself. I should've known that I'd end up gravitating towards someone the opposite of everything I've ever pined for in life. It's some nasty shit.
No. 85205
Welp, I'm going to calm down and rewrite this….
I'm thinking about dropping a group of people I got into recently because I've realized they are pretty toxic, and probably will bring me tons of displeasure.
The thing is, when I go "holy fuck HOLY FUCK FUK THEM FUCK THEEEMMM" I remember they are not that bad, and it would be unfair for them if I went and deleted all my ways of contacting them all of sudden. I mean, I feel I'm overeacting.
To put it with other words, the thing is I know it'll be better for me to avoid them since I've got better (and less toxic) influences, people, and places to hang out. But I feel bad at outing them like this because they are not inheretly that bad and don't either expressly ignore me or mistreat me or whatsover. As stupid as it may sound, they don't realize. They literally don't realize what are they doing counts as ignoring someone…. Also I'm living in a place right now where there is a 7 hours difference with them so not even online contact is easy, yeah.
I'm happy that I can move on but I feel kinda troubled about making as if they didn't exist anymore. Which is stupid because that's exactly what they are doing but whatever…. Also they are always bitching about their bullshit non stop, they don't seem to be able to get over stuff that is literal nonsense, so they are always about their neverending drama and when they are not, it's circlejerking. To be honest, in fact I think I want to disappear ….
No. 85210
>>85111My drinking is out of control as well. Ever since my first drink ive loved it, it made social interactions so much easier and it made me feel less ashamed over my personality. But im ashamed over myself because my personality is so "much" to handle, and it gets even worse when im drunk. So i just hate myself ten times as much the day after when sobering up. Also im just so bored all the time, i cant stand being sober.
I got into the habit of taking every chance i got to get drunk while young, i was living with my parents and they couldnt see me drunk. So every opportunity i got (maybe sleeping at a friends house) i took, even if it was drinking during the day or with just 1 other friend and not at a party. I got so few chances i felt like i had to take them all. Now i live with my boyfriend so every day is an opportunity to get drunk and i still have that mindset of using every chance.
Im fucking 19 years old and im sitting here feeling proud of myself for not drinking this ~one~ day. Im not even completely sober since i took some ritalin for school. I went on a school trip for 2 weeks and no alcohol was allowed. Even with 2 different narcotic prescribed medications i still couldnt last those 2 weeks, i bought beer and drank alone in my hotel room on the weekend.
Im meeting my psychiatric doctor this monday and weve been talking about putting me on some anti-depressants but he said i have to take liver tests during the medication period and im so afraid theyll show somethings wrong. I have to lie to him and to my psychiatrist because if they find out i drink this much ill be forced to quit my current treatment and go to the addicition treatments instead.
Im so afraid. How much can one drink before it hurts the body? My boyfriend tells me to think about italians that drink wine every day all their lives but i dont know…
No. 85217
My parents are polar opposites and I don't understand how they're still married tbh. Mainly because I recently opened up to my dad about how I am having issues finding jobs, getting places to at least acknowledge I've sent a resume, and how I probably got a degree in something I have no passion for. My mom's typical responses have been angry that I haven't found anything, how I'm not trying hard enough, how so-and-so's kid already had a job, you don't need to get a Masters, and the generic "you're smart and pretty you should be able to find something" sort of things. But tonight, after talking to my dad about it, he's much more understanding I guess? He knows that the job market just isn't the greatest right now, that many of the guys he works with have kids that even have their Masters and are still having trouble, and that if I need to go back to school to get additional certifications/degrees that he would be more than willing to help pay for them if it means getting a degree in something that I like. He also tells me that I underestimate myself and that I am more articulate and well-read than I give myself credit for and it… it just made me feel a bit better I guess? Mainly that a discussion about my future didn't end with shouting or anger or me crying because I can't get my point through.
(for reference, I rarely talk to my dad 1-on-1 about things like this because he typically gets home about 10 minutes before my mom does or they're both home at the same time and my mom takes offence to me only talking to him and not both of them at once or only her. It's hard to explain because I'm so used to conversations ending in disagreement with her that I assume that it how every discussion of my future will go… so it was nice to actually have a positive one for once?)
No. 85275
>>85210Oh bby, please be honest with your doctor about how much you drink. That will factor in on which medications they could prescribe to you.
You are only 19, so you would have to be a serious, serious alcoholic to have any longterm liver problems. Of course, it depends on your general health, any family history of liver disease, etc, but in general, you just haven't had enough time yet to give yourself anything long term.
The biggest question for me would be, on that school trip…you say you couldn't handle not drinking… But describe that to me. Were you shaking? Were you stuttering? One of the most obvious signs of extreme alcohol dependence is the shaking that comes with wihdrawl. You wouldn't be able to hide it from your classmates on that trip.
No. 85330
>>85221>most of the people were preferring to wallow in their self pity while I was trying to better myselfYes, that's exactly what's going on with them, fuck.
It's been years like this already, it's just not funny nor I can feel pity for them anymore. I've had tons of problems, similar to them (that's what got me to hang out with them in the first place), but it's just something dreadful to watch how you somehow manage to keep going and get over stuff and they keep frolicking in the same mud puddle for years.
In part, that's what makes me feel so… Ugh. You know, having them around really helped me these pair of years I was on my worst, it made me feel less lonely and that not the whole world had gone insane. But then they got their own brand of "insanity" to cope. So it is weird, because I feel like I owe them something (gratitude or what you'd like to call it) but at the same time I don't want to owe them anything anymore.
To rephrase it in other terms, they are good when you are depressed and you need someone who may listen to you (if they feel like listening or talking to you, of course, heh), but then as some kind of normal friendship it just doesn't work. It's weird.
Thank you for your advice, tho, I'm already doing something like using the time difference as an excuse. I'm not completely droving them out of my life since I feel I will get back to them once on a blue moon but I guess I just don't have the patience to put through more days of self pity pasive-agressive bs, plus I've got job to do.
No. 85352
>>85340I've noticed that sometimes people just don't wanna talk sometimes, especially on social media. I'd leave her alone until she's ready. I've noticed this with my girl friends– sometimes they just disappear for a while. Try not to be too insistent, it may come off as weird. I'm sorry to hear that she isn't talking to you. But you may want to focus on your life outside of her if she's not interested.
My crush is a super adorable guy I've liked for way too many years, but I'm an awkward goober so I've never attracted his attention. Too shy to even message him, even though we have a lot of common interests. I doubt he even thinks about me. So I'm spending my time trying to get a really nice body and making myself cute and interesting. Maybe this way he'll notice me, but even not, at least I've improved my own life, you know? It will get better. I'm sorry to hear about your heartbreak friend. Hopefully senpai will notice us both.
No. 85355
>>85354anon, pls no! I think the same way about myself but you have to realize that you can't victimize yourself and give up like that. People can sense it and it's harder to get to know someone when they defeat themselves like that.
I bet you're not as bad as you think. I genuinely believe that personality and common interests are more important than being a 10/10 in looks. You can make yourself look better, but you can't fix a rotten personality. A good haircut, good hygiene, and a good body can take an average face far. And even then, being a kind, genuine, funny person who is easy to get along with is way more important in a relationship than being a bonbon.
If you think you are acting like a psycho, just step back and leave her alone. Some guys come off like psychos without realizing it, but it doesn't seem to me (with the limited info I have) that you are doing that. You're not texting her every five minutes and screaming at her and calling her names for not texting back, right?
Maybe there isn't a problem with you. She may just not be looking for a relationship. And even if you're not the person she ends up wanting to be with, that's just life. It happens to everyone. But if you use it as an excuse to just beat yourself up, then you'll never allow yourself a chance to grow. If you open yourself up to all kinds of love the world offers, it will come to you.
tl;dr don't give up on life anon, it'll be okay
No. 85357
File: 1460135085140.jpg (318.67 KB, 400x395, 1459947414193.jpg)
>>85355It's the first time I felt something like love in 11 years, I completely gave up on finding love until I met her. We have same interests, understand each other almost perfectly, she doesn't judge me at all and I can be myself with her for a change. When I confessed to her she also told me she liked me, then she told me she wanted to stay as friends, then this happened.
Who am I kidding, she has a tall, white, good looking boyfriend close to her age. Who would want a 25 year old balding ugly manlet? She probably liked that I was caring about her but then she realized I was a disgusting piece of shit and bugged out. No. 85359
>>85357Anon, if she has a boyfriend you should stop pursuing her.
Also maybe she truly does see you as a friend and isn't 'using' you because she likes that you 'care' about her. I'm sorry man, but you can't pursue a girl with a boyfriend and expect her to drop him for you, especially if you see her as some sort of idealized version of a person that you project your insecurities onto.
No. 85364
>>85360I haven't been there for months, was completely depression and insecurity free until this moment. I'm not going back there ever again.
>>85359I did, it's a lost cause, I know it when I lose. Doesn't make it less depressing tho.
>>85361Don't know, my personality is not that bad I think. I just can get a bit severe when I like someone but I'm usually mellow, polite and kind from what people says.
No. 85366
>>85364You definitely have some kind of persecution complex. Maybe you should work on yourself before trying to get with a girl.
Oh, and don't try to get with girls that already have boyfriends. So scummy.
No. 85462
>>85461Ur annoying
Why are you here
No. 85478
>>85472Stomach acid?
IBS?
Heartburn?
Muscle spasms?
Thyroid issues?
I have the same problems as you. I've had 2 or 3 EKGs, a cardiac ultrasound, been to the ER, all that jazz. And they have not been able to find anything, except for that one time a nurse told me I had an irregular heartbeat. As for my weight, I'm not exactly fit, but I'm on the thin side.
Recently I've been looking into other causes, including the ones I listed above, maybe that would help you?
No. 85484
>>85478i've considered that it could be gastric, but it doesn't explain the feeling i get in my brain / the dizziness factor, though maybe that part is anxiety ???
I'm the same as you, BMI is like 19 but i also used to have a heart-damaging eating disorder for many years, and don't exercise now that i am well.
I hate to have it written off as anxiety, because it feels very real and physical and sometimes - like once in the hospital - causes my blood pressure to spike dramatically.
i'll research these things you mentioned some more. not sure about my thyroid, or if they're muscle spasms. i always wished it were gastric because that's so easy to fix
No. 85584
>>85559Long story short, I was too honest about my feelings/emotions with people who I should have realized in advance would not tolerate them.
It's karma for all the times I've done that to others.
No. 85590
I always scroll past this thread, but today, I am in major need. Move along with your day, nothing to see here, I just really need to get this off my chest.
Hopefully, I can put this into words and coherent sentences. I live in a rural area. It's 15 minutes drive to the nearest town of about 4000 people. There's nothing to do, the job market is quite stale, and your run into everyone you know at Walmart. For me, this is a hellish existence. I've hated country life for as long as I can remember. My boyfriend and I currently live with my parents because of money issues. Like I said, there are no jobs here. My boyfriend makes money by doing contract work, traveling to chemical plants and cleaning them. It sucks. I want to move to a city so bad… There are a million more issues on top if this, but this is the main thing keeping me miserable. I've thought about killing myself, but I don't have the balls to do it. Oh yeah, and I live in the deep south, so everyone around me is redneck trash or a nigger.
No. 85593
>>85590Oh anon I'm so so-
>niggerActually no, you can rot and die in your boondock and nobody will cry. Maybe get fat and pop out some kids to bring yourself some meaning if you don't have the courage to kill yourself, it's not like your life is worth anything right now anyway.
No. 85598
>>85584you say you were 'too honest' but that sounds like you're trying to phrase nicely that you took a big emotional dump on someone and expected them to clean up your mess. stop that shit anon, it's exhausting and annoying as fuck. don't be that person. you know what you're doing when you do it, you're hoping to manipulate. get your shit together.
sincerely, someone who used to do the same thing to people and lead to years of unhappiness until i stopped.
No. 85604
Tumblrina bitch,
>>85593, you dislike it that she includes the word nigger in her post but dont seem to mind it that she also mentions redneck white trash? An hero yourself nigger.
No. 85607
>>85604Yeah you're right, red neck trash is also a gross thing for anon to have said and I should have called them out on it too, thanks for reminding me
Anon shitty person all round
No. 85613
File: 1460218103016.jpg (910.31 KB, 2820x2110, tmp_31376-Baggy_Pants129463924…)
>>85607>>85593You've obviously never been near a ghetto. Do you live in North Dakota or something? The blacks around here are such racist assholes, it's nearly impossible to not turn against them and be just as racist.
No. 85628
I'M SO MAD RIGHT NOW.
>walking downtown
>group of 5-10 kids, all varying ages (between 9-13?) sitting/standing on wall
>yell at me "HEY BLA BLA (some question) HEY WHERE YOU GOING?"
>I ignore because that's what I do as a fucking adult, earbuds in
>kid runs up behind me, jumps by me while putting his arm around my neck/shoulder
>triggered
>pull out earbud, "what?!", while starting towards him
>"HAHA OOH HAHA" as he backs off still laughing
>I walk away while they're still shouting something
I was so mad, I visualised stabbing the kid, grabbing his head and bashing against the pebble wall repeatedly, pushing him on to the busy road, tried to rationalize it as they're bored and was still pissed.
I was shaken the whole time, over analysing everything, I didn't want to avoid them because I'm a grown ass adult, but I wouldn't want to aggravate the situation, it's my quickest route home from the town centre. Nowadays I'll easily ignore kids, and it's been a while since I was a target in any way either, but for them to actually, physically TOUCH me is what freaks me out. I can't do or say anything to that shit.
Fucking hell, I'm 24 but it was like I was 14 all over again with little chavs everywhere, and you had to plan your route to not run into anyone.
I came up the same way, same side of the road and they were gone, but i think this shit's going to give me a complex, like I'll avoid going that way at certain times of the day, just in case. I don't want to be like that. It saves me so much stress on one hand if I were to avoid it, which seems like the adult thing to do, but then i'm avoiding children for fuck's sake.
No. 85636
>>85628Dont avoid that path just because of a few brats. You have just as much rights as them to walk every where, maybe you have even more rights as you are not a chav.
If it happens again: dont beat them up just yet instead do what you would do like you'd do when a grown man assaults you: spray pepperspray in their eyes and run away. If its illegal like it is in my country, suckerpunch the one who touches you. A good ol' suckerpunch will do the job. Shitty kids these days need discipline more than ever and words never help, they wont respect you until you hit them somehow. There were some kids "bullying" me (tbh they were bullying me they called me a whore and threw cola in my face out of nowhere) but I suckerpunched the one who did that and somehow they respect me now every time they see me kek. After that whorekid threw cola out of nowhere in my face I have started to hate kids forever though ugh. They are so violent and fucked up, they seem to stop their violence as long if you stoop as low as them.
No. 85652
>>85638Depends on the area and who you're with/not with. I never ever got catcalled, and then once I finally got some friends and started going out, all of a sudden creeps were shouting at us from yards away to smile for them.
In my experience they go for groups of girls and not lone weirdos like I was, lol.
No. 85654
>>85631>>85636Well I'm weak/slow as shit for one thing, by the time I've registered that this kid's actually made contact with me, he's about a meter away, and any physical violence is obviously intentional and not just a gut reaction. It's also a dangerous move, those were scheme kids, and that kid is probably someone's little sibling, and since I go by there at least twice a day I'd be easy to recognise.
All this went through my head before I had the chance to hit the kid.
Now, in an ideal situation I'd have been able to hit the kid as he was jumping by me, breaking his nose, blood everywhere and saying "oooops! Sorry but you shouldn't surprise strangers like that!" instantly earning their fear and respect. It would be satisfying, but it's a fantasy.
>>85633I think the kid was shocked that I reacted in anger, his eyes widened and he seemed a little unsure of what to do. But usually just by looking like the adult I am, I get by not being harrassed. If it's got to the point that they're not only verbally annoying me, but touching me, it's probably past the point that I can use an adult voice to stop the behaviour.
No. 85660
My semester is starting soon and one of my friends told me he wasn't going to be taking our seminar class together with me this semester.
For a little bit of background: I'm an exchange student and in my university, you get to (or I think for some people it's actually a requirement) take a seminar class led by the adviser you choose when entering the school. Other exchange students who also happen to choose your adviser go in with you. Last semester was fine and dandy, I made some friends (with the other 2 exchange students who were in my seminar, and some seminar students) but overall I have no friends. I'm a fucking piece of shit loser who's lives in the dorm that only a few other international students live at, I'm in the school of my university that not many international students enter, and I'm just an awkward piece of shit. I really do have a lot of friends at home, but they also like the same things I do so making new friends, especially through them, is really easy for me. But here… I feel like no one likes the things I like and I try not to be a huge weeaboo fuckface in front of them so I downplay a lot of actual interests. Outside of the things I like, I'm feel like just a shitty, boring, bland person. To make matters worse, I fell back into depression due to a number of things and isolated myself even further.
In the end, I really only have that one friend because my other close friend left to study in the US. I didn't meet any of the new seminar students because I would always avoid the drinking parties (because I don't like drinking to begin with), and the one party I did go to with them, it was really hard for me to talk to them because I'm such an awkward fuck. I didn't really meet the other international students either because I just don't know how to talk to people. I had a falling out with my suitemate who was an international student too so lol.
My Japanese isn't all that great- it's subpar at best, and I can only hold a conversation for so long. I get so self conscious speaking to the Japanese students that it just adds onto my shitty anxiety. I'm jealous of my friend (who knows no Japanese whatsoever) who will just talk to our old seminar members and get along with all of them (I only hung out with the same 5 or so people).
I'm just so fucking nervous for this class but I need it because it's the only course I'll be taking that'll (sort of) be taught in Japanese so I can take it safely without worrying about failing (also it's an easy S grade in general).
How the fuck do I make friends, fam? I've been with the same group of friends back at home for years, and I just don't know how to make friends with people who don't give a shit about what I like. I'm trying so hard to be positive and make the most of my time left here because I pissed away last semester by being a stupid depressed fuck, but this one class and lack of friends is making me feel so anxious and depressed all over again.
No. 85713
>>85703I thought it was maybe because I'm a new hire, but I started with 5 other people and they ALL have made it into the group. It's really cliquey here lol. It's a flagship store, so relatively big.
>>85706Just want friends at work. Thank you, I'm gonna try this out when I'm next back at work!
No. 85715
File: 1460265196728.png (298.97 KB, 303x346, tumblr_inline_ni93au0ori1qh5eq…)
I hope this doesn't sound as stupid as I feel it does, but here goes.
Background info, I guess: In middle school and high school I was constantly grounded for one reason or another by my emotionally manipulative mother. I wasn't allowed to leave the house– well, maybe once in a blue moon– except for school activities. She never let me learn how to drive or get a basic job. Basically I spent a lot of time alone in my house, making friends online and watching all of my friends take pictures together and have a lot of fun without me.
I'm 22 now, out of college. For the past two or three years I've had to deal with a huge group of my friends making plans together and not including me, sometimes even a day after telling me they want to hang out or be closer with me.
I see their pics on Facebook and Twitter, all of them having a good time together at events I didn't even know were happening. This happens nearly every week.
I talked to one of my friends today and she told me that nobody bothers inviting me out because apparently I declined too many FB invitations during particularly heavy work weeks so they all took it as a hint to just stop inviting me to anything.
Apparently nobody wants to bother me or they think I don't want to hang out with people so they just don't invite me to fucking ANYthing anymore.
How do I contact my friends and say "hey, please invite me to more events" without sounding like an absolute pathetic sad sack of a human being? I felt like shit even asking my friend why nobody invites me out today…
I feel like I'm destined to be the same person I was for the past 10+ years, alone in my apartment by myself talking to people on the internet, with the only photos of myself being selfies– with next-to-no memories or real life experiences with the people around me.
Hold me, /b/.
No. 85716
>>85715I relate to this on SO many levels.
Have you tried personally inviting them to something?
No. 85718
>>85717Social groups can be hard to break into when people are settled in their cliques. :(
What are your hobbies? Maybe you can meet new friends that way? It sounds like you should be focusing on making new friends - perhaps individually - instead of on getting that social group to include you.
No. 85719
>>85718I guess it hurts to think about that because they were my "group". We're all interested in the same things and went to the same creative arts school. It's funny that you use the word "clique" because when I was at school with them everyone else called US the "clique" and was trying to break into it, ha. My, how the tables have tabled.
I could definitely try to make new friends, though it will be scary. Thanks for the advice.
No. 85721
File: 1460271299875.jpg (95.46 KB, 640x631, AGuvd8U.jpg)
Im starting to hate my cousin. She stole 2 brushes (although the first time i might have given it to her but forgotten…i dont know) from me.
She pressures me a lot into doing things and wont let go until i do it or she just gives up and becomes really sulky and sad.
Our grandpa gave her money for me because he owed me it and guess what?she keeps making excuses and only gave me 1/4 of it back. She has no money because she lent her money (and the money that was supposed to be mine) to her friend. I hope i will get the money back.
The most shittiest thing is that she stole my fucking makeup brushes that were a gift from my bf and they were pretty expensive too. As i said above i might have given her the first brush but 100% she stole the second one. Back in christmas when she slept over at my house i lost one of my makeup brushes from the set. I asked her multiple times and she said she didnt see it. Well guess what! I went over to her recently and i saw two of my make up brushes in her fucking makeup brush. What the fuck am i supposed to do? How do i grow a spine and not let her do shit to me???
I know she steals from stores but i didn't know shed steal from me….fuck.
No. 85742
>>85694>>85673you are beyond retardation
>>85636I can't imagine how better the world would be if those kind of shitty kids at those ages of 14 or so as soon as they feel the impulse to harass and try to hurt girls or even adult women were given a good beating at the slightlest disrespect. I can't help but feel many of the bullshit we encounter as adults roots on those kind of behaviour.
No. 85745
>>85721Tell your grandpa what she's doing, and take your brushes back and tell her if you ever steal my stuff again and deny it, I'll fuck your shit up.
My sister is the same way and I'm thiiis close to beating her with a broom. I hate people with compulsive behaviors like this/lying.
No. 85774
File: 1460322435696.jpg (86.93 KB, 500x427, image.jpg)
My mother slipped a "self-esteem expo" advertisement under my bedroom door this morning
No. 85809
I had to sit by myself in one of my tutorials today because my only friend was away. When I say by myself, I mean I had a huge table that could fit at least 6 people to myself, and everyone else were bunched up at the other tables. My tutor loves doing paired work, but since I was alone, I kept getting paired up with this girl who obviously thought I was stupid because I'm shy and didn't say much to her.
We move buildings halfway through the tutorial, so I packed up my stuff and left before everyone else did since I had nobody to wait for. The thing is, as I was walking to the other building, I heard this girl and her friends from the class talking about me. Saying how I packed up my things so fast and apparently give people weird looks? Also other general stuff about me being weird. They didn't realise I was walking in front of them so I turned around to look at them, which shut them up real fast.
I don't know what warranted this? I know I'm weird because I have almost no friends and don't talk to people, but I don't bother people? I don't give people 'looks' or whatever, I just keep to myself. My entire tutorial feels like high school, they've even got little cliques going on. I really hope most of them start dropping the class because this department is small and I don't want to deal with this for another 3 years.
No. 85823
>>85809I'm so sorry to hear this. People can be so cruel.
How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I was in a similar situation as you, even in college when I was 20. Some things just don't change, unfortunately.
Just try to remember the problem is them, not you.
No. 85857
>>85850Sounds like he is looking to take advantage of you. He has a wife already. Any other girl he seeks out while married wouldn't be one kept for a serious relationship. Let him work whatever problems he is having with marriage with his own wife. The old feelings you have for him might still be there, but he is already married. It's over, and you should move on from him.
Don't mess around with someone who is married. It wouldn't end well for anyone involved.
No. 85862
>>85275thank you but the problem is that if he knows how much i drink he wont be able to prescribe any of the medications that im currently using as well as ill have to go to a different clinic that treats addiction and stop all other current treatments (my countrys system is fucked up, you have no right to any psychiatric help besides treatment for addiction if you use alcohol or drugs more than like once a week)
i read about every medication i get so i know its alright to combine with alcohol (not only do i read the government papers about the medication i read online forums as well). if i tell him he'll never give me any benzodiazepines again and ill probably have to quit my ritalin as well. i know that if that happens ill just drink even more.
i was not shaking or anything like that, im not so addicted its just mental i think. i usually just drink on evenings or i start drinking maybe 6-8 hours after i wake up. on that trip i ate much benzodiazepines and i think that was why i could stay away from drinking during the weekdays.
No. 85865
File: 1460406879748.png (329.48 KB, 498x561, 1449115612767.png)
I have a huge crush on a guy that I will literally never have the chance to be with. I'm 100% sure he sees me as some awkward, dumpy, ugly girl, so I never try to talk to him or anything.
Too bad he's constantly in my daydreams and I can't stop crushing on him hardcore even though I'm a total loser whoops
No. 85899
>>85881For a second I thought I had wrote this.
Other anon is right, it's going to take time and even then it's normal to have setbacks now and again.
Delete a or throw out nything or store it on a memory stick/hide it again if you always think of him when you see those things. It's normal to go through what you are going through
I'm attending counselling at a support centre for victims even though I felt that what I went through "wasn't that bad". Don't let yourself minimise things,it's okay to just have feelings even if you feel you shouldn't for one way or another, reach out for help.
No. 85908
>>85688Use your words like a fucking adult
>If someone does something I don't like I should hit themWatch how quick you get hit back
No. 85910
>>85909well it's a lose lose situation.
You either provoke them by hitting them (assuming they attacked you first)
Or they jump you anyway if you try to quickly walk past to avoid them because you look like an easy target and a pussy.
Honestly though, the real problem is shitty parenting.
No. 85913
>>85910Then call the fucking cops or something, they're there so you don't have to take the law into your own hands by beating up 15 year olds.
>Honestly though, the real problem is shitty parenting.And the solution to this problem is not physical force, nor will it ever be.
I guarantee you hitting a kid will make him resent you, and in all probability, make him want to retaliate or commit the offence again out of spite. You can't go around telling kids that hitting people is wrong unless that person has also done something wrong, because it makes no fucking sense.
And considering that not every well behaved child was hit as punishment, clearly the problem is not a lack of physically inflicted moral lessons.
I don't understand why people pretend they're not just hitting their kids out of anger and frustration, they're not fooling anyone.
No. 85914
>>85913Goddamn, why are you so rustled?
Did your parents beat the shit out of you as a child?
No. 85918
>>85917yeah okay that's very intersting, but you're getting way off base now. The whole topic was more in the vein of self-defense against groups of unsupervised 15 year olds.
No one is suggesting bashing up young children…
No. 85925
>>85918Well some people were making more generalizations, like:
>>85636
>Shitty kids these days need discipline more than ever and words never help, they wont respect you until you hit them somehowOr
>>85742
>I can't imagine how better the world would be if those kind of shitty kids at those ages of 14 or so as soon as they feel the impulse to harass and try to hurt girls or even adult women were given a good beating at the slightlest disrespect. I can't help but feel many of the bullshit we encounter as adults roots on those kind of behaviour.They think beating would do good, while in reality it would make the behaviour only worse.
No. 85934
>>85909Yeah I agree, once I was raped by this teen boy but I didn't defend myself because I know that if I'd hit him he would get very damaged psychologically and maybe even physically
giggles http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/6807862/Woman-raped-by-gang-of-teens-after-asking-for-directions-home.htmlI also fucking hate hate HATE it when men defend themselves against women, like wtf! A men should NEVER hit a women!
No. 85945
>>85934There is a very big difference between being raped, and someone slightly disrespecting you. That person said, that you should beat someone at the slightest disrespect. And it seemed that the person was referring to parents as who should be beating them. And it has been proven that THAT doesn't work.
Nobody has said that you aren't allowed to DEFEND yourself.
No. 85947
>>85936He would have probably killed himself instead of you.
>>85941There is nothing cute about a grown ass man with a 13 cm dick
No. 85954
>>85945Well the anon who responded to that anon clearly said
>Have fun getting your 5'8 ass jumped on the street because you thought you'd teach some 15 year old a lesson in front of his friends though.Which is why I thought and still think she implied you cant defend yourself against kids. I swear if a 15 year old boy calls me names I'll kill him.
And of course I would never hit my own children. We all love our own farts more!
No. 85958
>>85954In this hypothetical scenario this is a result of being disrespected like an earlier anon suggested, not being attacked. I'm saying if some snot nosed brat cat calls you on the street, ignore him and move on like an adult, it's not your job to teach him morals. Obviously the person whose job it is to raise him decently has done a poor job, doesn't mean you start hitting strangers who disrespect you to 'teach them a lesson'. Also you should stop pretending this desire to hit them is out of a quest to teach them right from wrong, rather than just retaliation.
At the end of the day no one is going to side with an adult who hit a kid without being hit first anyway, so whatever, enjoy the scorn I guess.
No. 85960
>>85958>Also you should stop pretending this desire to hit them is out of a quest to teach them right from wrong, rather than just retaliation. Why do you think I said that I'd never hit my own child? I dont want my child to be afraid of me, however I dont care about a random kid.
I think there was also an anon who said that a boy threw cola in her face. Should she have just moved on? Or was her punch justice? Be assertive anon.
No. 85961
>>85958>At the end of the day no one is going to side with an adult who hit a kid without being hit first anyway, so whatever, enjoy the scorn I guess.Didn't read this part of your post but actually you're wrong. There was this kid who threw a rock through someone's window and I teared up from joy because something so damn beautiful happened: the owner of the house brutally brawled him. Everyone sided with the man including me. The only fucked up part was that the kid kept saying "I didn't do it" but I recorded everything lel because he kept trying to break the window.
He wasn't 6 or something btw I think he was 14-17, idk.
No. 85968
File: 1460473165385.jpg (31.73 KB, 400x349, 1459219790931.jpg)
If you don't date and marry your crush, how is anyone else supposed to compare?
I met someone that was literally perfect in every way for me but they were dating someone else and are now moving to another state. So it won't happen and it'd be weird if I tried.
I feel like every other guy I meet will be, at best, "good but not him." Is it possible to escape this way of thinking?
No. 86016
>>85907I understand but I think that the guy I like actually has a girl friend already.
I think that's the down side of sharing friends with your husband/boyfriend. Sometimes feelings happen. Plus, I like being married and our shared group of friends.
No. 86114
>>85960Punching someone for throwing cola in your face isn't justified.
I can't believe I have to explain to 'adults' that violence doesn't solve anything, you were meant to learn this shit as a child. There are options besides 'walk away without reacting' and 'punch him in the face'.
>the owner of the house brutally brawled him. Everyone sided with the man including me.Doesn't mean it was morally justified, just that he got some cathartic revenge, which I'm sure felt great, but if you'd taken the evidence to the cops of him breaking a window I guarantee he'd have not done it again without having to resort to a brawl.
No. 86143
I feel like no matter what I do life is against me. I was born to a very poor family, grew up poor, and due to my lack of effort in education/training, I work a shitty job and I'm poor now. I have no skills or talents. I don't even have any hobbies, I'll play the occasional video game or watch a show every now and then, but for the most part I just spend my freetime doing stuff online, like watching YouTube videos.
I feel so alienated from everybody around me. I have no interest in a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend for that matter. Although that's probably just a phase. Everytime I try to make friends with people, online or IRL, they always seem to blow me off like I'm just some annoying pest to them. Nobody is ever interested in talking to me or hanging out with me, and the few people that are do it out of morbid curiosity.
I can't even say that I'm smart or attractive. I'm pretty dumb, I'm good at memorizing certain things but I'm terrible at doing anything else. I suck at math, know incredibly little about science, etc. I'm not really ugly, I have a weirdly shaped head and I have low sex appeal but I'm just kind of average looking besides that.
No. 86145
Sorry to hop in
Three months ago I got a dog. I've struggled with depression and anxiety/panic disorders for so long, and my dog gives me support through company that really helps me. He is even trained in a few service dog tasks (I'm an aspiring trainer!) that really help in a crisis (he does specific grounding stuff and literally identifies when I'm trying to self-harm and tries to interrupt me, dogs are incredible and so smart Jesus Christ).
My bf is not happy. We've been together for a year and a half and are p serious. He helped me get the dog home (I live not with him, at home with my parents once I became super sick). There was a period towards the beginning where he really helped me look after the dog when I fell in a depressive episode, by walking him a bit whenever he would come over so I could have a break that day.
But he hates my dog a lot. He doesn't like how hyper and playful the dog is and whenever he comes over the dog wants his attention pretty much the whole time and my bf gets so annoyed. He has stopped coming to my place for the past two months, and now we only hang out at his place or go out. I've stopped mentioning my dog in conversation to him.
I've worked on my own to keep up with the responsibilities of having a big dog. It's hard for someone with such severe depression to keep up, but it helps me to have a reason I need to get up and go out. Walking him is pretty much the only way I get outside most days and it's helping me. In short, this dog has helped me in recovery a lot despite how difficult it is.
But my bf's is mad that I got the dog without really considering him. He feels like I signed him up for that reaponsibility without him really wanting it, and he's right. I only considered myself when I got the dog. He says that it was selfish to not think of the future of when we live together, and now I've got this dog that we are going to have all the responsibilities of. He's even implied that he doesn't really see much of a future anymore now that my dog is in the picture. He doesn't hate dogs and he knows I love them, but he says he hates that this dog wasn't one we decided to get as a team, but it was just a selfish decision of mine really. And I see his point but I don't know what to do now.
I don't want to lose my bf, but I love my dog and want him to stay with me.
No. 86146
>>86103>you're an agoraphobic inbred loser and that's totally okay but you need to stop viewing yourself as Thee Most Beautiful Smart Cunning SnowflakeI feel like I know who this is. Would his name happen to be Caulin? We need to have a BPD thread to talk about out BPD stories, man. I have two in my life and they make life a living hell for everyone around them.
Then again, one has to remember that BPD has a high rate of comorbidity with NPD and sociopath, so it could be that the person you knew had one of those conditions.
No. 86198
>>86114You sound so white…be ashamed of yourself
t. White nationalist
No. 86286
>>86198I'm just not under any illusions that if I were to physically retaliate at a 15 year old for throwing a drink in my face it would be justified.
Also why would I give a shit if you're a white nationalist, how is that remotely relevant?
No. 86370
>>86143So you put zero effort into bettering yourself and you're sad nobody wants to know you?
You should be improving yourself instead of believing the world is against you. So you want to be less poor? Focus on improving your resume, do some interesting charity work, work hard at your job whilst looking for better ones.
So you feel ugly? Get into fitness, eat clean, learn how to use makup.
You feel boring? Read a book every week, get an actual hobby that other people can appreciate, join some sort of community that involves being around other people.
Life isn't easy, sure some people are luckier but you can't expect to have it handed to you. Pick a goal and get on with it anon.
No. 86469
File: 1460681887059.jpg (38.19 KB, 500x493, 77b270100d3da00a93207c1758dc01…)
Recently I've been having a lot of thoughts pertaining to existentialism and my own mortality.
I've been pondering often my concept of self, and come to realise that when I picture myself as a being I don't imagine myself as how I see myself in a reflection, or a ball of energy or anything like that, but when I think of "me" I see my brain and my connecting nervous system splayed out, eyeballs and all.
That is my self. It's me as a consciousness. It's biologically accurate but spiritually shallow and it terrifies me that my version is the more truthful account.
I was talking to my boyfriend about philosophy and spiritualism earlier and he voiced his opinion that because life is effectively one big cyclic exchange of energy, life and death are really more like a bird leaving one nest for another. Considering this I can't think of anything more intolerably cruel. We come into an existence with no concept of us having ever not existed previously, we live for a short while, we toil, we suffer, we experience and we create, and then in the blink of an eye we're gone.
Now I can feel my body decaying with every passage of time, be it a second or a week or a year. Every breath I take feels like a pendulum swinging away towards my oblivion and my ego can't bear it.
Is this babby's first existential crisis? Does the ride ever end? How can I accept my own mortality?
No. 86478
>>86469I used to struggle with this stuff when I was younger, but now I just don't care.
Everything probably is meaningless, but I've got limited time until I die and until then I've got bills to pay. Realising everything is pointless isn't going to help me attain a comfy life before I die so I just got stuck in,I want to see the world before I die and cease to exist forever.
I hope you guys can deal with it too, if you really do feel everything is pointless then focus your time on some kind of charity work so that your life might have purpose to other people.
No. 86601
File: 1460780474188.jpg (12.08 KB, 410x206, 1431483889369.jpg)
>>86469I find myself falling into these thoughts every now and then, but it's strangely comforting knowing that everyone around me will also die. It's the one thing every dickbag in this world has to face. Until then, I plan on enjoying myself with inane hobbies and being stupid with the few friends I have.
It sounds weird, but I try to always be prepared for death. You never know when you might die in a freak accident or from the carelessness of others.
No. 86859
File: 1461005248539.jpg (101.05 KB, 738x640, 1460392557059.jpg)
>>86852Mine didn't responded to me in days.
No. 86933
File: 1461060349683.jpg (259.19 KB, 872x1548, 2016-04-19-11-01-54-227.jpg)
I've kind of hit a brick wall with my language degree where I'm finding it increasingly difficult to remember all the conjugation, positive and negative modifiers, conditionals etc.
I just need time, time to let it sink in, that's all a language is, exposure and time, but I have my final exam approaching and I can't make it absorb any faster.
I don't know what I'll do if I fail this. I don't know how to make "stick" faster.
No. 86936
File: 1461063252785.jpg (41.02 KB, 500x490, 1438548921059.jpg)
Why am I so fucking angry? I want to kill everyone around me. All I think about these days is how I would go about killing lots of people. I'm too chicken shit to ever do it, though. Thoughts tend to range between giving poison to kids at the park and shooting up crowded concerts. Again, I know I would never do it. But, whenever I hear about this shit happening on TV, I always feel a bit happy and hope for as many casualties as possible.
No. 86942
>>86934You're not a loser, anon. I hope you feel better soon from whatever's bogging you down.
>>86941Could you take up something that you can do from home like crafts, learning a language, etc? I hope things get better for you soon anon.
No. 86943
>>86934How come?
I know this sounds "eh", because I've been severely depressed before, like on the precipice of suicide, but even then I showered every day, sometimes twice a day, because cleaning myself felt cathartic. Like. it feels like it's cleansing you of every impurity in your life, and when you step out you've been purified.
Why don't you go run yourself a nice, hot, steamy shower, sit on the floor of the shower with your back against the wall, close your eyes and just let the water run onto your head and body.
No. 86945
>>86943I guess it's pretty much the bottom of depression. I was able to do all that before. Now, only thinking about having to dry myself afterwards, feeling the cold and having to wait for my hair to dry feels like the end of the world.
It's dumb because I loathe myself for feeling dirty and itchy.
I think I really need help. It's pathetic.
No. 86951
>>86945>>86950You should definitely go take a hot, steamy shower though. If you can put the heating in your room on too so when you get out you're all moist and toasty.
Sometimes when I'm down after I come out the shower I dry off and then do some grooming over the next 2-3 hours. Stuff like moisturising my entire body, putting some oil in my hair so it's super soft, doing some extensive hair removal, filing my finger and toe nails, clipping my cuticles back and then painting them, trimming my hair if it needs it, filing down the soles of my feet, giving myself a facial with any masques I have kicking around.
You should have a spa day Anon. Like, just roll around in the warmth and treat yourself. Get some tea and shit, add some lemon, and have some fruit too.
No. 87029
>>87026See a doctor.
>>87028They can't know for sure unless they get a test for it.
No. 87040
>>86857I'm gonna be 19 soon, don't worry. just no motivation to continue school. Been screwing around the last 2 damn years so I'm just very behind.
>>86994Tried in the past. Nothing really came of it. I don't think I'm depressed and psychologists were just a shitshow, at least here
No. 87041
File: 1461113090974.jpg (29.96 KB, 481x481, Cf24pHrW8AAvOa-.jpg)
I'm so fucking stupid and obnoxious and I always get myself in bad positions.
I pissed off a lot of people and now there's a group constantly talking about killing me and other horrible things, some people even (apparently) drawing horrible porn of me. I'm so angry at myself for basically starting this by being annoying to these people, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to never post, I even went into a selfharming episode as punishment for myself.
No. 87558
>>87549(2/2)
Other problem kids:
>group of fifth grade boys that are always in trouble and get into fights>group of fourth grade girls that always get to arguements and fights and generally have bad attitudes>Fourth and fifth grade overall disrespectful to us helpers with shitty attitudes(even with there peers)>Kids as young as second grade always cussing, with it getting worse with each grade>There are even a few kindergarteners that already have bad attitudesOn top of this the man who hired me gave me no training or advice on how to deal with this and didnt tell me how bad these kids are. I got a bit of advice from the other helpers, but they couldnt give me much since they have trouble getting the kids to listen themselves. They said theyve talked to the fourth and fifth graders teachers before but it didnt help. Sending them to the Behavorial Specialist(also the man who hired me) doesnt always help either.
At this point I dont even try to yell at 4th/5th grades anymore because they dont listen and i get attitude and back talking. I only stop fights between them at recess. I did try to give them a punishment by not allowing them to play with balls at recess(because they never get in line properly at the end of recess and continue to play and ignore us, when they do get in line, they wander and play around). But the Behavorial Specialist made me give it to them. So Im not going to try with them at all, he can deal with them.
Ive worked had jobs dealing with kids a lot before because I like working with them. I dont mind doing discipline as long as I can get to know them and do things with them like I have in the past(reading, games, etc). But this job is horrible for me. Im not an aggresive person and i dislike confrontation. I handle it better if I, at the least, didn't get blatant disrespect. Even in another poor area I worked in I didnt get the level of disrespect I get from these kids, its unbelievable.
Sorry this is so long but Ive had alot that Ive wanted to get out aince I started working there in February
No. 87559
>>87550I did, which is probably why Im having a hard time since I cant relate. My parents made sure I was provided for and gave me alot of love and support at home, which I know at least half these kids dont get. Im really just not the right person for this job.
Honestly, the school should let hirees know what the job really requires and give us some ways to deal with these kids instead of just throwing us out there. I wish I could do more and do a better job but I only see each grade for 30 minutes a day and dont get a chance to get to know them individually
No. 87564
>>87559Well as a heads-up, when you come into school everyday from a torrid, volatile home, of course you don't care about breaking the rules and getting into trouble. You're raised to be this and that and to be good and respectful, but when your homelife is shit you're consistently seeing everybody around you, mostly your parents, breaking those rules on a daily basis. What's the point in abiding by rules set by the people who're supposed to act as a role model to you when they won't follow the rules either.
Kids like that don't care about breaking rules or behaving badly or getting in trouble because there's no consequence. Their life already sucks, how can it get any worse?
No. 87602
>dog I've had since I was very young dies
>feel bad
>dad sends a new one
>it's a Caucasian Shepherd puppy, and he sent it as a guard dog for me and my mom
>he turns out to have rear dysplasia
>dad feels bad about it, sends another one (never asked for this), she's female and has no real problems, but is a bit on the small side and barks a lot
>we try to get a trainer
>can't find one, no calls returned, vet can't get a hold of a trainer for us, etc (I live in a third world shithole country, things like this aren't easy for whatever reason)
>mom urges me not to call dad and tell him we're in need of a trainer
>in the meantime, I try to tell both my parents that both dogs need to be well-socialized so they're not overaggressive/distrustful
>"But then they'll be useless as guard dogs, anon. They shouldn't be too trusting."
>in the mean time, the male pup (now around 6-7 months old) bullies the female pup (4-5 months old) because he hasn't been trained out of that behavior
I'm so fucking angry, I don't know what to do. This breed of dog is known to be stubborn, can grow to be 200lbs+, and if they attack anyone, that's it. No one wants to listen to me or seems to care.
No. 87811
File: 1461501144698.jpeg (113.39 KB, 700x400, image.jpeg)
>>87810Lmao I remember this jewish ukra said to me
>kiev is greater (as in more beautiful) than moscowIm not even russian or eastern european and I said "untrue, I prefer moscow over kiev or paris or any other great european city based on the pictures that ive seen".
I truly hate those ungrateful "russian" idiots too btw, Russia is the only cunt who can defeat America so they should be proud of their stronk cunt.
Pic related; europe's wetdream.
No. 87822
>>87810Lmao i see this a lot in the polish community in the uk.
After 2 months of living in uk they suddenly start making fun of casual polish people and change theirs names into a more english sounding one e.g. karolina to caroline
Then they shit on poland and basically treat other polish people (that do not live in the uk or are not in the uk for a long time) like they're parasites
Fucking annoying
No. 87913
File: 1461530336378.png (80.18 KB, 500x421, fSSh7df.png)
>be me, always considering myself to be pretty qt in the face, at least to some degree
>get a new awesome phone with not so shitty camera
>be all excited about being able to take fun and pretty pics to upload to my social media like everyone else
>take a pic
>see the ugly
>realize that the only way I can look like the person in my head is to run my face through a shit ton of filters and editing
It's not even like I don't care how I look and have seen my face for the first time - I have a skincare routine, I use basic makeup, I style my hair and all. Is that how people really see me? How do I sleep now, anon?
No. 87914
File: 1461531736638.jpg (256.32 KB, 1000x750, image.jpg)
>>87913You are probably still qt, anon. A camera phone pic isn't a good indication of how you look anyways, since the tiny size of the camera lens can alter the way your face looks. Pic related.
Usually those people you see on social media with really cute pics take several before they choose one to post. They also know their angles and how to get good lighting. You can do the same, if you really want to take a good photo.
No. 87945
File: 1461537479619.jpg (18.21 KB, 552x381, FB_IMG_1460207931881.jpg)
I have to get up in 4 hours but can't sleep because of panic attacks. Already had two in an hour, I'm already on Efexor for this shit, why is this happening again?
No. 87946
>>87913What this anon said,
>>87914 it's probably due to the focal length. Try taking pictures from farther away but zoomed in
No. 87966
File: 1461543238623.jpg (150.96 KB, 639x530, 2016-04-25 01.07.07.jpg)
>>87965You really don't know the half of it. Like honestly if she were more active online she'd have her own little thread on /pt/.
This is the status she last updated and ofc, her trash, leech buddies are now inundating her with comments such as "whew girlie! get the wine out! ;p".
Honestly in a way this is good though because that kid was outright being abused whilst he was in her care. Almost 3 years old and he's still not talking. Well now we all know why, it's because whenever she got the opportunity she'd come home, stick the poor kid in his crib and proceed to hey pissed.
I'm so ashamed to be related to such garbage.
No. 87975
>>87969>>87969This is why I now use a webcam with the image flipped instead of a mirror
Made me realized that my hair looks 100% better parted the opposite way, in reality
No. 88012
>>87964Ughh this sounds like my aunt so much
>has a child even though we all know she's too busy/immature for one>ends up having my grandmother watching him for weeks even after she has to go to the hospital>decides to have another child even though she doesn't care for the first one>talks about how hard being a mother is even though she's gone all the time and my cousins have resorted to calling my other aunt their mom>about to divorce her husband and leave the kids with him even though he's mentally unstable from all the stress she's put him throughLike the list could go on forever but she's just a terrible person and I wish my family would blacklist her but that would mean not seeing the kids and it's awful. There's been so many times I wish i had called protective services but i think that would have been worse for them…
No. 88096
File: 1461591322548.png (51.5 KB, 268x248, 138970492050312.png)
Holy fuck I cannot get motivated to do fucking anything with my life right now and I haven't been able to do it for months.
I have a shitton of things I want to do, cosplays, videos, personal projects, art, games I want to play etc.
But every fucking day I just sit on my ass, tired as fuck and browse the internet without really doing anything.
I don't even do anything worthwhile while browsing, I don't contribute to comments. Sometimes I fall asleep during random periods of the day, I've gotten enough sleep but still, can't keep myself away.
It feels like my body is just slowly dying along with my motivation and my brain is just screaming for me to do anything without getting any connection.
I mean, at least I am still somewhat social and I can go for walks, when I do that shit though I get EXHAUSTED afterwards and sleep for like 3 hours just to regain some semblance of energy.
It's not like I don't eat either, or overeat, I have like, 2 or 3 meals a day.
I want to fucking die sometimes because I feel like I am wasting away. I can't get any motivation to draw, play single player games, work on cosplays or anything at all. Oh wait, I can play League of Legends at least, but not enough to get fucking good.
This is so horrifying, what is happening to me?
No. 88100
>>88096Your basically summed up what my life is like since the last 6 months.
I know I should get that checked but I'm scared that I will get called an attention whore or a faker (stupid fears I know).
I have a big artistic project and it's the only thing that I absolutely want to do before I die, if I continue living this way it will never happen.
Actually if I continue living like this I will probably get to anxious and bored and off myself one day.
No. 88127
I'm in a pretty new relationship with a guy i was previously best friends with. It probably is a bad idea to go from best friends to bf/gf but oh well.
Anyways, it has all been good and well until we and the rest of the friend group + some more people took a casual trip just to drink and have fun for a couple of day. I had a blast but i noticed he was in a kinda shitty mood the whole time. Turns out he was jealous and mad that i had fun with our male friends and even made a new friend (male). Now, i would be fine with slowing down on the friendliness, if he didn't act even worse towards his female friends, which aren't mutual friends either.
He hugs them, touches them, talks to them about emotional problems and all that. And just now on his snapchat story (kek) his female friend had posted some pics, innocent enough, just dyed her hair etc, but there was one pic with his arm around her, which he deleted 2 minutes afterwards, which just makes it worse. If he hadn't deleted it, he wouldn't seem so suspicious, but no he has to be stupid. This is all pretty hurtful but just because he won't accept friendly banter between me and our mutual male friends but finds it totally acceptable for him to act this way. I would literally have no problem with this if he wasn't such a bitch about the way i act.
No. 88164
>>88096Okay listen up. There is a way you can fix everything, but are you going to have the self control to do it?
If you really want to fix your time management you will do as I say, if you don't then obviously you don't actually care, so stop pretending to be stressed and just enjoy your nnet life.
1. Install a productivity extension, i recommend StayFocusd, I think I even found it on a thread here. Set it so you can only browse unproductive sites (or Internet) 4 hours a day. I don't care if internet is important to your creative project, you are only allowed to actively use it 4 hours a day. You can be more lenient if you like and say that you can use the Internet freely after 9pm,but during the day you stick to your allowed time. Start budgeting that time.
2. Work on a regular waking time, it doesn't matter if it's 3pm,just make sure you get up. After you get up you WILL take a walk around the block or do 10 jumping jacks, and you WILL make your bed and get dressed. It doesn't matter if you just change into different pyjamas and climb back into bed after, just do it.
As long as you stick to these rules you will gradually find your time better spent. If you still find yourself exhausted after two weeks you should go to a doctor.
>>88100You too
No. 88330
>>88322You cannot stand up for yourself. You should have not switched seats that is the most beta shit someone can do after someone disrespected you. If you really want to know the consequences, if he is a normie fuckboy popular boy you wont be well liked in class (since its not high school they wont really bully you i guess), if he is just a loser autist you're just overthinking it.
t. life will always be high school
No. 88366
>>88164Thanks fam, tough love is good from time to time.
I'm
>>88100 and you pointed my real problem, internet and laziness is killing me slowly and I've been thinking about cutting my internet time for a long time now, I'm going to install this thing and hope I can handle it. The thing is I think I'm so addicted to internet because it help me stay distracted and I don't have to think about the mess that my life is.
Probably going to ask my bf to do it so I can't just switch it whenever I want.
No. 88367
>>88164I am already doing all of the stuff in point 2. My problem is that I randomly fall asleep during the day, or just get exhausted and get migranes randomly.
HOWEVER, I will definitely follow your advice for point 1. I have also called my doctor as of this morning and I have an appointment next week. Wish me luck!
No. 88370
>>88366If you want a more hardcore productivity program, try Cold Turkey. I've managed to get rid of StayFocusd in desperate times, but you can't fuck with Cold Turkey at all.
>>88367I think you might have a sleeping disorder, I have 2 and can empathise with falling asleep randomly and being exhausted 24/7. All the best for your doctor's appointment and your road to good health!
No. 88459
File: 1461679917376.jpg (27.56 KB, 500x336, 09c5a997e43783abd0b57cd7ab20fd…)
I've been in a relationship for almost 5 years now. And it's starting to fall apart. I feel pathetic for whining like this but idk where else to vent.
So,I suffer from depression and anxiety. It was really really bad when I was a teen. He was literally my only friend (I got bullied a shit ton in school) and the only person I could talk to, even if it was just over FB because we live 3 hours away from each other.
When I turned 16 I decided to just run away, meet up with him and than him for being there for me and after that to kill myself. (I know, I know) We actually had a great time, talked all day and I had my first kiss that day. I wasn't really amazed by the idea but if it made him happy, why not. At least it gave me a reason to live.
It was all good and great until a few months back. We were actually planing on building an apartment at his parents place, upstairs. It was always "us" and "we" but now a few months ago, it turned into "I" and "me". I asked him what's wrong and it turns out that the problem is that "I'm not doing anything". I'm not sure what it even means because if I ask his response is just "You'd know if you were doing something".
He always wanted me to be an open, talkative person. He wants me to get a job, drive and cook. Which is a good thing, but it's just that I'm an introvert so getting out of my shell is rather hard. I'm trying my best with all of this but I just know that it'll never be the same as the ideal image he has of me.
He's been really rude and cold the last two days, even said that he can be fine on his own etc.. Basically,he's ready to leave.
I just don't know how to show him that I'm not a kid. I'm doing the best I can. I'm searching for a job, I'm trying to cook even tho we don't have a lot of food in the house because we're poor af.
I'm just really lost on which direction to go. He IS right, I need to learn that shit. I can't become a pro in all of this in a week. At least I know I deserve this.
No. 88491
>>88459It might be a little off-topic, but I was in the same "long distance relationship" with a guy for a little more than 6 years. I was a really shy and bullied kid too and he was the only guy I could talk to. He encouraged me and was my best friend and the coolest, smartest guy ever. He always gave me cute compliments, told me how important I am to him, hugged and kissed me, talked to me about how happy he will be when he will be able to invite me to his own apartment to stay with him. I visited him one to two times a month since we've lived 2,5 hours from each other.
…aaaand then he just blocked me out of the blue and I slowly realized he just used me for sex. And all of his words about living together, buying stuff for me and loving me were absolute bullshit. And he manipulated me. Like, I was COMPLETELY blind to it, when I rethink this situation now our relationship was so full of red flags it could qualify as a soviet country.
I hope your boyfriend isn't like that, anon. But please, think about your relationship with a cold head, it can save you a lot of tears later. You're still young and you can do anything and I SWEAR it will be better later, just…think, ok?
No. 88498
>>88491Don't want to sound like a mangina but reading this makes me understand why women can lose trust in men.
How do you even start to trust after something like that. Shit.
No. 88500
>>88459You're codependent. Your life literally revolves around him.
As harsh as it sounds, him leaving you might be the only thing that will actually get you to change.
I hope you're getting therapy and having your depression/anxiety treated. I've been there anon, and it sucks, but without professional help and getting rid of a relationship that was weighing me down I wouldn't be where I am today (graduated, full-time job where I make a decent wage, happily in a new relationship where we are our own individual selves but working together as a team).
No. 88502
>>88491>>88500Thanks anon(s)
I'll give the relationship another try. Because it's mostly my fault that it's not working, I just can't get my shit together - or I do but only for a few days.
I've been thinking about therapy but it's really expensive and I might need meds. I'll try to research how the whole system works in my country, maybe I can do something to get help. Hopefully getting help will make it easier to pull myself together.
No. 88552
>>88502There's a relationship board on /g/ if you ever want more advice.
>>11195I know you just wanted to vent about your situation but there's plenty of others going through similar things as you so you won't feel so alone. And please, please look to see if you can get treatment.
e-hugs girl
No. 88574
File: 1461731514994.jpeg (37.18 KB, 275x275, 1457615624756.jpeg)
I actually used to be a white nationalist until I realized that white men were some of the worst people in the world. I mean it. It wasn't propaganda that made me hate white men, it was my own experience with them. I fucking hate white men so much, I wish they would all drop dead or something. I can't even find them attractive anymore because their personalities are so, so fucking shitty. The thing that gets me is how they do nothing but bitch about white women not wanting them, yet they make no attempt to understand WHY it is we hate them so much. Here's a tip, it's not "propaganda". White men don't think that their shit stinks. But, of course, they'll never self reflect on their behavior because they're convinced that the only reason people like me hate them so much is because I'm "brainwashed". Your "moment" isn't about western civilization. It's about you wanting everyone else to kiss your retarded man child ass. Fuck that. White men want to be able to do whatever they want without anyone being able to call them out on it, makes me sick. I have every right to fucking hate you I would rather breed with a lizard than give birth to a baby with a white father for fear that the child could be born male and grow up to be another fucking disgusting as fuck shitty white man that's how much I fucking hate you I want to cut off your dick and shove it in your mouth and piss on it.
No. 88587
>>88586you're not alone, I feel something similar about my mother. We just don't really get along, she annoys the shit out of me.
It's one of those things that sounds bad and ungrateful if you tell other people… but if they lived with them they'd understand.
No. 88622
>>88601How exactly are other races of men any better?
Asian, Middle Eastern etc guys are significantly more misogynistic after all.
Although I'm half convinced you're a troll
No. 88657
>>88652
>oboemeant cello
I'm also a tard
No. 88683
File: 1461785668806.jpg (53.17 KB, 670x440, white_men.jpg)
>>88622They aren't. Shitty men are everywhere.
But there are also idiots who think meeting a shitty person of X background means every person of X ethnicity, religion, or race must indeed be exactly the same. That people are not individuals and every single person of X conforms to their stereotype.
>All white men are cis shitlords!>All black people have big dicks>All Asian men are effeminate faggots>Every single Muslim is a potential suicide bomber>All Indians are poo-in-loo pieces of crap that cheat and scam>Women with dark skin/pale skin/freckles/curly hair/below C-cup/<your choice here> can NEVER EVER be beautiful! No. 88691
File: 1461788355887.jpg (13.91 KB, 236x329, 47fd9da959938c05be1600827c0b57…)
>>88685I need you to stop
No. 88697
>>88691he is NOT natty! but damn that body tho
i still dont like asian men tho
No. 88703
>>88652anon! no! please don't talk about yourself that way. you're only embedding further the idea that you're ugly in your head. if you have a potbelly, welp. lose weight.
i've gained 10kg post breakup and i'm also getting there so i feel you boo, it sucks.
most important tho - STOP telling yourself you're ugly. it's self harm. life's too short to spend the entirety of it hating yourself.
my mother spent her entire life stuck in a cycle of 'i'm fat' and 'i'm ugly' and lo and behold, she's a beautiful, intelligent, witty, ambitious woman. i keep telling her she's beautiful but she's always got something to shoot back at me. it puts things into perspective, really.
of all people, don't hate your own self.
if it cheers you up, i've got pigeon chest and nearly 0 boobs. cleavage? lol, nope.
made me so self conscious. in the end, not a single person i've slept with has ever mentioned or implied that they're bothered by it. in fact, when asked about it, they were genuinely surprised to hear anything like that because they simply didn't notice.
so. be gentle to yourself.
we can do it, anon!
No. 88736
>>88729Well there is no ideal group of men. On the whole I'd say white women get a pretty good deal with white men.
You're just bitter for whatever reason.
No. 88807
Anon from
>>88096 here
So. I had a nervous breakdown two hours before work this tuesday, called in and spent about an hour getting someone to cover my shift. Had difficulty breathing, complete panic at the thought of looking like a wreck at work, crying and basically letting all my co-workers and boss know that I am in a bad place.
Called my doctor but they weren't available until next tuesday, had another breakdown today and I've also experienced physical problems now. Called the hospital when my doctor was unavailable, managed to get an appointment with another doctor tomorrow.
I can't stop crying and feeling shitty, it's escalated so fast. Yet if I just… do nothing and play Animal Crossing or something I have it okay. But immediately when I have to talk to people I start bawling. I'm glad I'm getting an appointment tomorrow because I am worried everything is going to shit too fast for me to handle.
No. 88812
>>88808Uh. You're either a troll or incredibly sheltered.
Non white guys epitomise the whole "love the women, hate the men" attitude. About the only group of men in America who prefer their own racial group are white men.
It's fine to have yellow fever, but pretending Asian men are less sexism, less ethnocentric, less likely to hold shitty views on women is ridiculous and if you really do believe it I'd advise you to spend a few years in south Korea and China
No. 88816
>>88812>About the only group of men in America who prefer their own racial group are white menAhahaha, no. The vast majority of mixed raced relationships in US are between white men and asians.
And no one said anything about yellow fever or people from other countries, I'm specifically talking about American men or different races.
No. 88818
>>88816The majority are with Hispanics actually. Probably because a lot of them are basically white anyway.
I'm sure white guys feel they have equal cause for complaint given how some white girls perpetuate the black guys are better in bed meme.
No. 88824
>>88823More like nobody cares men mixing. Minorities definitely care about their women mixing.
When I said meme I meant the guys saying all white women love "bbc" and hate white men. It's downright delusional to think it's more than maybe literally 2% of white women.
No. 88829
>>88825I think a lot of white guys dislike it.
Not that I really blame them. Black guys are pretty fucking shitty.
No. 88831
File: 1461851118658.jpg (14.78 KB, 236x206, cdc2eb5a0bad301c09a4ae43ed38d6…)
Goddamnit I hate whiny posts but I just have to get this off my chest. I don't know why but lately I feel really sad. I'm despairing and I don't know why, it just feels like my heart is breaking. Nothing in particular is standing out to me as a reason for this feeling though. Granted, life is sort of shit right now but it's the same stuff I've been dealing with for years now. Maybe I'm finally breaking from the continuous pressure.
No. 88866
File: 1461865544383.jpg (468.91 KB, 1600x1365, eat your veggies.JPG)
I'll probably sound really hard and edgy saying it but here goes:
I no longer live anywhere near my hometown since I moved out of state. Tbh it's a really depressed area. There's no future there for anyone wanting culture, a well-paid job, or who isn't backwater tier religious. The only two types of people who stayed are okayish people whose families got them jobs with the city or inside institutions (commuting over an hour to work in a better city), or welfare-leech trash who just pop out kids in order to survive and use religion to justify it.
A lot of my ex female friends from high school unfortunately wound up in the welfare category: some have never held a job (or if they had it's always part time min wage), only have a high school diploma or sometimes not even a GED, and exist on abusing the government help systems. Back when I used to live there, I think the only reason they even took the time to befriend me is so they could bum car rides off me and get me to buy them nice things. We're completely different people regarding ambitions and beliefs. For the most part these days, they're incredibly jealous and don't go out of their way to contact me much anymore.
But I do see the shit they post on facebook, mostly about their pregnancies and what they do as stay-at-home moms, which isn't much. For some STRANGE ass reason, many of their babies have some kind of genetic or general kidney disorders.
One ex friend in particular gave birth to a preemie recently that was diagnosed early in the pregnancy with polycystic kidney disease. It was on life support from the second it exited the uterus. I know this because she relentlessly posted pictures of this little human hooked up to all these tubes and wires with captions like "PRAYERS" "PLEASE PRAY." It constantly looked like it was in pain. Personally, I secretly think some of these "mothers" get off from posting disturbing pictures like these on fb for the attention they get!
Some of you won't agree with this, but I think this bitch is a terrible person for admitting that the odds for this baby surviving were next to none but still continued to carry out the pregnancy because of "God" (aka another meal ticket to get gubment bux). She already has one child that she can't financially take care of, but she thought having another was some great idea???
She set up a GoFundMe for $2500 to cover the long-term costs of the NICU, which proves how she's getting a lot of medicaid assistance because neonatal hospital bills under normal circumstances cost wayyyyy more than that.
In any case, the preemie passed during the night after being kept alive on machines for a whole two days.
Worst of all, I know this bitch is going to try again for another baby despite things like kidney diseases in fetuses being indicative of GENETIC issues, and the next one is likely to be as fucked. But oh well, I'm sure that'll just be "God's will" too, and we can just hope the fetus survives long enough to be another dependent write-off.
Sorry for the blog-style vent. There's just something about women willingly giving birth to genetically fucked babies that really pisses me off. Especially if they're ignorant enough to think it must be the will of a supernatural being to do so. If I had it my way, these cunts would be sterilized after child one.
No. 88906
>>88849Are we starting this shit again?
Everyone knows white men with yellow fever FAAAR outnumber white women with yellow fever
No. 88962
File: 1461941224495.jpg (16.85 KB, 471x431, kuroneko.jpg)
People call me "fake" IRL sometimes because I'm sort of alt and have different ways of experimenting with my hair. It's pretty irritating, considering how simple a lot of my shit actually is. I wear colored or curly extensions sometimes, enjoy wearing black, and buy sweaters from Tumblrcore sites like inu-inu or Omocat. That's literally it. Plus, I'm happy to explain whenever they ask me about my hair, and even direct them to sites where they can buy similar clothing, but their minds go totally blank.
It was even a bit of an issue before I started doing anything particularly different with my appearance, because my hair is supposedly "long for a black girl". People were pretty rude about it, and insisted I must be lying and wear a weave ever since I was in like 5th grade.
It also doesn't help that a lot of their style icons/inspiration do the exact same things, and a few of them religiously attempt to copy them, but once there's actually someone in real life who goes the extra mile to achieve their own aesthetic tastes, it means they're "so misleading and fake omg!!!!". Fucking dumb. I really can't help it that other people are a lot more toned down with their own style and/or basic enough to just not know how to do certain things, and I certainly don't shame them for it. It's just annoying that they take issue with me.
tl;dr
>tfw some people call me "fake"/misleading, but a lot of them are minimalist, utilitarian fucks who know nothing and I have no reason to listen to them
No. 88967
>>83591Dude, I'm 22 and was told by my doctor that I "may" have adult ADD. I'm really skeptical about it, because A) I love amphetamines, I don't think I'm getting the medical benefits of adderall or vyvanse, just the straight speed. B) To see a neuropsychologist to take these tests seems like a pretty penny ($1000) I don't want to "waste" to confirm that I'm only an amateur addict, and C) I can't imagine the monthly costs of the pills, even with health insurance, I took an anti anxiety drug for 5 months before I started having to pay off a 50$ copay at the end of each month.
However, I've been dealing with intense feelings of procrastination for as long as I can remember, but I've always been "good" with my grades, as in, I'm graduating from college, so I continue to doubt that being a possibility.
Is it still possible to have ADD without it outwardly affecting my life to the point that it's determining whether I pass or fail, make money or not? It just feels like literally every chore I have to do is like pulling a splinter out of my asshole, but I feel severe anxiety in being "bored", and in the moment of my procrastination. No indication of an urge to do anything productive.
Sorry for the rant. I just want to figure this shit out so I can either start fresh or continue down this road of forcing myself.
No. 88982
File: 1461951836421.jpg (125.98 KB, 1280x720, [HorribleSubs] Gekkan Shoujo N…)
>get out of depressive episode
>get on new meds that work great
>feeling good, decide to try and ride the momentum
>get a slight tan
>get acrylics
>start working out
>actually make some friends
>couple months later, everything going great
>suddenly, hello good old anhedonia
>also brain decides I NEED to start restricting again immediately
Why am I not allowed to have good things?
No. 89055
File: 1461997881236.png (281.51 KB, 293x750, tumblr_inline_mmt7u5ZUJJ1qz4rg…)
My friends and I have been planning a trip for a while now and one of them decided to invite another friend and I'm just not wanting her to come???
Nothing against her because she's a sweet person but I just don't like her. She annoys me so much and I feel so bad because she's nice but it's effecting me so much that I don't even want to go on the trip anymore and I can't tell my friends because I have no real reason other than my own dislike which is rude. My anxiety for this trip is already skyrocketing and this just makes it worse so I'm tempted to say I'm sick and just stay home because why pay money to be annoyed for a weekend???
No. 89058
File: 1462003667451.png (96.21 KB, 332x333, 1453149826498.png)
Another youtube i watch got a boobjob.
shit depresses me
i like my flat chest but seeing how other people think its a negative trait affects my self esteem
my body looks pretty feminine (very nice waist to hip ratio )but i still get called a boy by friends/family because of my chest
is there any other girls that like their small tits/ no tits? seems like everyone is getting boobjobs nowdays
No. 89065
>>89058I hope it's not creepy of me to say but I think small tits are cute as heck.
When it comes down to it though as long as you're happy with your body ignore what others have to say, boobjobs aren't everything and tend to cause back issues down the road and smaller tiddies are cute af so rock it girl.
No. 89068
>>89058I LOVE my small boobs. They're super cute and perky, one of the only things I actually like about my body.
I started birth control seven months ago and it's made my breasts so much bigger…
I went from an A cup to a small C and I am really uncomfortable and unhappy about it :/ my bf loves it but it is just so uncomfortable and awkward looking to me. Just doesn't feel like "me" since I've been flat chested all my life. and not to mention I now have fairly noticeable green veins on my chest running to my breasts. ugh.
No. 89171
>>89154 Im the one that made the original post
>>89058 and tbh hearing other women talk about how they like their small boobs or prefer small boobs makes me feel better
I already gave up on the idea that 98% men prefer bigger boobs so thats why i didnt ask for a mans view
I also currently have a bf who adores my body and he certainly likes my boobs since he sometimes randomly asks for pics of them (tmi)
No. 89371
>>88575You should've stopped it at him threatening to kill himself. Mines did and I told him to go ahead, I won't care. Funnily enough he didn't.
I went a little bit easier on him after that, and said I'd call him (emphasizing not the other way round)once a week for about 10 minutes. If he doesn't get that gf and crawls back to you instate that rule at least.
Btw he's abusive. You know that, right?
No. 89373
>>89058tbh small tit posts make me rage. I've got E cups and developed near enough a complex about them. They feel like a sexual accessory instead of part of a human body, my body. I'm always reminded when I see sex scenes in movies, and the girls have B cups and it's a smooth mound, instead of a fatty sack that the hand is running over. I'd rather have different sized tits if they were small. I'd rather have salami nipples, or inverted nipples or puffy ones or literally no tits or the droopy but small tits over my current heavy, inconvenient and awkward tits.
So these small tits posters express something about wishing theirs were bigger, and they get so many comments about how small tits are great for whatever reason. The only "positive" stuff I've seen posted to comfort someone about hating their big tits is their sexual value. They'll get a better man/give a better titjob or whatever.
It depresses me.
No. 89391
>>89373M8 ME TOO, WE'RE EVEN THE SAME CUP SIZE
TITLETS DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD THEY GOT IT
No. 89478
>>89058I have huge boobs and my top measurement and bottom measurement don't meat up well on a lot of sets and one piece outfits. You'd rather have something slightly too big than too tight. Baggy can be dealt with. Too tight is just plain uncomfortable.
Your boobs will never get in your way while you are doing things.
Also, you can fit into just about any top. You don't have to worry about sizing up a dress because the size that fits you at the bottom is too tight in the chest.
You can layer with ease.
Cheap discount bras are alright if you can't get better.
If you get sore, swollen period boobs every month at least you won't have to deal with the fact that your boobs were already more than big enough before they swelled up.
No. 89482
File: 1462186101317.jpg (Spoiler Image,3.05 KB, 207x155, images.jpg)
>>89403
>"skin never sags! lmao xD"I can tell you're young because you don't seem to understand that breast size and shape doesn't stay the same your entire life.
Ever wondered why you often see grannies walking around smuggling basket balls under her pinafore? They get bigger as you age.
No. 89483
>>89482is there a way to reduce this?
I'm losing weight atm but I'm afraid of something like this.
No. 89492
>>89483Obviously that's an older woman, but with breasts to be honest, no not a whole lot can be done to prevent sagging when losing weight/aging.
There's this whole "lose it slowly" argument which is a total myth because actually the longer your skin stays stretched the saggier it will be long term. Only thing you can attempt is to build up your pectorals really, or get surgery.
No. 89518
I just read a local news online, and there's a criminal case where a 14 year old girl who was walking home from her school, were kidnapped and gang-raped to death by different 14 boys (age range 16-23) who were drunk and horny. I read the autopsy report and her private parts were destroyed. Her vagina is torn to her anus from so many penises that entered her roughly. Her mouth were also ripped apart. Police said, it seems that she's already died in the process of gang-raping. When the boys realized she's dead, they just rolled her body down to a not so deep ravine, and left. The next day, they just continue their activities like nothing happened. And when they got caught and interrogated, none of them showed any remorse.
What is more infuriating for me is that they only get 15 years each. 15 years for such horrible crime?? I get that some of them are underage (my country's legal age is either 17 or 21, depending on the state), but they should receive harsher punishment. Death sentence would be too kind, even. Cut off their dick, make them eat it, torture them Ramsey Bolton style. These disgusting piece of shits don't deserve to use their dicks again after kidnapped, raping and killing an innocent girl.
No. 89526
>>89518Fuck, I wish I hadn't read that spoiler. Men really are disgusting fucking pigs, so desperate just to get their dicks wet that they do things like this.
May she rest in peace.
No. 89540
>>89518>age range 16-23It's disgusting to me that the boys' ages were taken into account to lessen their sentence. 16 is old enough to know it's wrong. People should know that hurting people is wrong as a kid. 5 year olds know that physical violence is wrong. 16+ criminals don't deserve any leniency because of their ages.
>The next day, they just continue their activities like nothing happened.That's disgusting. They're obviously vile scum to be able to rape someone to death and not have it affect them at all. I hope people remember what they've done and it follows them around forever.
No. 89544
File: 1462202461062.jpg (43.73 KB, 251x376, IMG_6361.jpg)
>>89525I live in a SEA country.
Oh and one more thing that gets my blood boiled; the comments on the article. Some fuckers dared to victim blaming, asking what did she wear and maybe what she wore were too revealing. Like, are you fucking kidding me??? The victim just got home from school, she's in her school uniform. And SEA countries school uniform aren't cute like Japanese or Korean uniforms, they are modest, ugly and boring, to be exact (pic related). Just look at it! Is that 'too revealing' for you?? How in the world do you have the nerve to say that she's the one at fault?? WHERE'S YOUR COMMON SENSE, YOU TWATS!?? IT SHOULD BE NO-BRAINER WHO'S AT FAULT HERE!!
No. 89549
>>89544Wtf is wrong with people? If the article was about a male rape victim, I'm sure none of the comments would say "was he wearing a revealing outfit??"
Assholes.
No. 89555
>>89518I truly hate this rotten world sometimes.
>>89548> I wish lynch mobs were still a thing in cases like these.Agreed.
No. 89582
>>89552What. The. Fuck.
it's like when people constantly make prison rape jokes or when a female teacher abuses a younger male student all you hear from other men is "playaa", "lucky guy" or other encouraging things.
I seriously want to throttle men who say stuff like that.
No. 89600
>>89398What's your point, man? I'm jelly every time I'm reminded.
Obviously I'm not jealous of you though, you're just an asshole.
No. 89603
>>89552>>89582male rape victims (by women!) are just inherently pathetic and a failure at life. There's a huge difference between being raped by a man and by a woman. Guys who are raped by women seem to be very weak of mind, dumb, careless but most of all if they "come out" about it it makes them an utter disgrace. Being raped by a woman should be a mark of shame and not celebrated as being strong or some bullshit.
The least they can do is move on and not fucking cry to everyone that they've been raped. If you think that's toxic masculinity you may as well identify as an SJW now because none other than the utterly extreme left actually complains about normal shit like that
No. 89606
File: 1462210630207.jpg (54.75 KB, 625x626, 1461761074109.jpg)
>>89603Don't give them replies.
No. 89614
File: 1462211786071.jpg (48.82 KB, 736x552, 1cffe77ad7e714097bdf9e5352cdf0…)
>>89607don't slit your wrists anon, don't give those rich fuckers the satisfaction. as far as not having energy, you need to stop being sad and tired; you need to get real fucking mad. use that anger to wrestle time for yourself away from the beast that is life/work. get on a regular workout schedule and ironically it should help improve your energy levels. you can do it, don't give up now!
No. 89677
>>89672Who actively participates on a website where she ban evades and know she doesn't belong, going as far to make reactionary YouTube videos just to bring in more draw.
She knows exactly what she's doing.
No. 89679
>>89677>reactionaryWhat do you mean by this?
>She knows exactly what she's doing.No she doesn't. She's young, gullible and naive.
Are you that proud black woman from the other thread? Makes sense your jealousy of white women would apply to even young teenagers lol.
No. 89703
>>89679She takes posts from r9k and tries to "troll" the anons by making videos in response to them and linking them. No idea if they're still up, but one time someone pointed out how easy it would be to collect her info based on them and she made a lot of them private/deleted after that.
>Are you that proud black woman from the other thread? No, I'm white and know from personal experience that 15 year olds are perfectly capable of reading website rules, and breaking those rules, thus bringing themselves into a lot of trouble on their own accords.
I'm not jealous of stupidity.
No. 89704
>>89703Do you realize how gullible the average girl is, let alone the average teenage girl?
Yeah, she's stupid. I'm not denying that, but I still feel sorry for her. Girls her age are meant to have the oversight of their parents and older siblings.
No. 89706
>>89704>gullible>is a failure of social intelligence in which a person is easily tricked or manipulated into an ill-advised course of actionSo you're telling me that pop-up and the rules on 4chan that explicitly state that you must be 18 or older to post somehow "manipulated" her into posting? No, she's breaking a rule that's meant to protect underage twats like herself.
If she chooses to ignore the warning and ban evades, she gets what's coming to her. She's old enough to reason and make decisions, she's just making bad ones.
No. 89707
>>89706No, I'm saying she's a gullible, naive, stupid teenage girl. There really isn't much more to it than that.
I don't expect women to be as conscious of consequences as men are.
No. 89709
>>89707>isn't much more to it than thatY'know, other than her blatantly putting herself at risk and getting herself into a lot of shit with people who are smarter than her.
What kills me the most about people like her, is if she really didn't want the attention anymore, all she'd have to do is stop posting and lay low for a couple months.
No. 89751
>>89709HAHAHA oh man, I just went to r9k to check it out and apparently she's a drug addict too. Heroin.
What a nice kid!
No. 89754
>>89751I would have thought women would have more sympathy for a young girl.
Honestly it's off putting to speak to a girl who has no sympathy for other women.
No. 89760
>>89758Then cut out the whiteknighting.
A fifteen year old knows the consequences of shooting up heroin, even if she necessarily lacks the sense to not be an attention whore.
She almost deserves her own lolcow thread.
No. 89764
>>89760>15 year old girl knows consequences of being an impulsive idiotComplete nonsense. Look at the media environment in which children are raised.
>She almost deserves her own lolcow thread.I'll personally ask the admin to remove it if you do. She's 15. She doesn't deserve that.
No. 89769
>>89758Why are you defending this?
Most 15 year olds aren't doing heroin because they know better, or have a decent family structure to not be put in that kind of situation.
It's like you can't comprehend that teens make conscious decisions to start dangerous drugs. There's consequences for actions, but you're saying there shouldn't be.
So all those teens who are in juvenile detention centers or foster homes because of drug use be set free of no discipline, by your logic, because they weren't really in control to begin with? That's bullshit.
No. 89774
>>89769Because I think women, especially young teens, are more naive and gullible and malleable to media influence.
So I feel empathy for them.
No. 89790
>>89783>comparing pot to heroinDROPPED.
>>89785I don't and I think that's just as creepy.
But the least I can say about Peenus is that she's not some gross camwhore with a drug habit and several STDs.
No. 89802
>>89798Show me the source that says smoking pot will get you addicted just as bad as heroin.
I won't wait up for your retarded ass, lmao
No. 89822
File: 1462230350479.jpg (64.37 KB, 500x380, image.jpg)
>>89722i see! i get you. i don't have any more advice so i'm just gonna send you some good vibes now k. congratulations on finishing school, if i read that right? maybe you just need to clarify what kind of job you would rather have and that may bring you some necessary mental motivation. i do understand being drained of mental energy, and it sucks. that's harder to fix. i find personally that working on something helps balance my head. preferably something not related to school or work, something that makes only you happy.
you sound awesome, i believe in you buddy, you'll make out of your stinky job so don't let it get you down
No. 89852
>>89839No one who thinks that everyone that uses the same website must have the same views should be taken seriously anyway, this applies to tumblr, 4chan, facebook, lolcow and virtually every other site on the internet.
If you're not personally posting/sharing dumb shit then you can safely ignore whatever criticisms you want.
No. 89882
My best friend nearly died of a heroin overdose last night and I'm really worried that he's addicted to this shit already. He's got so much going for him–intelligence, wealth, good looks, the whole nine stupid yards, but he's going to throw it all away chasing the dragon.
I don't know what I would do if I lose him. We're both pretty self-destructive people. But if he is addicted, just warning him to be careful isn't going to do shit and he's certainly not gonna stop just to make me happy.
Fuck.
I mean, I'm not any better, I've tried h before, but I don't crave it like he does. I just drink instead. At least I'm not violent about it, but turning into a weepy little bitch isn't much better. I'm already depressed, and I know drinking doesn't help, but sometimes it feels like at least it numbs me enough to function. I barely leave my apartment these days, I've lost touch with nearly everyone I know, I have absolutely no ambition or real love for myself, and everything I've worked for up until now seems fucking worthless and like a huge waste of time and resources. I wish I could just quit life. Not kill myself, because that would be even a bigger waste of time and effort for the people who would have to clean up after me, just that I could make it so that I never existed. I seriously think about joining some kind of religious order at times so I could take a vow of silence and just fuck off to a cell somewhere, but they probably wouldn't let me in on account of being a filthy apostate.
I don't know what to do.
At least I'm not in debt, I guess. Cash rules everything around me.
No. 89904
File: 1462260830348.jpg (33.03 KB, 368x700, IMG_7998.JPG)
>>89900Having friends who are way better off than you is the worst, wouldn't wish it on anyone. Every single friend I had in high school was fucking loaded and it made me want to die.
My friend was telling me the other day about how his mum (OB/GYN who also has her own practice) lost 600k in taxes (nearly six times what my mum makes) last year like it was nothing, meanwhile my mother is worried about getting laid off from her job because she's one of the older staff at the university she works at and they're looking to downsize.
No. 89910
>>89904Same thing with me, I've gone to a school in a rich district in highschool because I got stabbed in my first year at my ghetto one. Everyone was loaded and I stuck out like a sore thumb, thankfully there weren't many snobby little shits and some of them were Bros.
Our business got bankrupt couple of years ago and worked in lots of shitty jobs.
Thankfully found a comfy office job after literally shoveling shit at farms and stuff for years now and things looking good.
No. 90017
File: 1462303458885.png (454.09 KB, 424x415, 1439340158093.png)
I recently got in touch with a friend again and we were getting along so well I was wondering why we lost touch in the first place. I apparently forgot how clingy they get. You'd think I was their only friend by how often they message me even when I don't respond.
It's just grating how they could be a legitimately cool person to chat with, but there's all these little factors that group together that makes talking to them consistently really annoying. Doesn't help that they're super beta and follow that "non-binary" bullshit.
Just…why do they have to be so pushy and irritating?
No. 90022
>>89941>>89955
>science has never been wrong before! Thalidomide was just a fluke! >:'(You seriously think that fluoridation of water has been banned in over 30 countries in the last decade alone for no reason? You think it's just a coincidence that the only country that fluoridates their entire supply, Singapore, retains THE highest incidences of dental fluorosis in the world? Do you have any idea why toothpaste tubes contain a warning to supervise babies and toddlers when brushing? No, it's not to ensure they clean their properly, it's because fluoride actually kills smalls children if they swallow enough, I believe a quarter of a tube is enough. Google it.
>"The evidence that fluoride is more harmful than beneficial is now overwhelming… fluoride may be destroying our bones, our teeth, and our overall health."This is a statement issues by Dr. Hardy Limeback, Canadian associate professor and head of preventive dentistry at the University of Toronto and former President of the Canadian Association of Dental Research, but ofc you know more than him right? Because "da gubment told me so".
http://www.thelancet.com/journals/laneur/article/PIIS1474-4422(13)70278-3/fulltext#article_upsell^article that the Lancet published in 2014 officially classifying fluoride as a neurotoxin. Enjoy your poison cucks.
No. 90026
>>90023Topically it's fine. Fluoride does actually occur naturally in water deposits when applied to the enamel it helps to remineralise/harden it, but the fluoride that is added to the water supply is not naturally occurring, it's usually run-off from the manufacturing of aluminum, among other things, and ingesting it really fucks you up.
This was originally a huge fucking problem around the 1920's - 1930's when the heavy manufacturing industries began to take off. In America a lot of these plants got set up next to farms, but the stacks on the factories were releasing the fluoride by-product into the air instead of disposing it. Farmers gradually began noticing their animals not walking properly, eventually becoming sick and dying. Ofc they later discovered that it was the fluoride.
The scariest and most damaging part of it that actually the body is only capable of eliminating approx. half of it from your system. The other half remains forever, and builds up and up and up until eventually it begins causing problems, which a lot of people are beginning to heavily suspect is just another element that is contributing to their mass of disease and sickness that humans are currently experiencing as a species.
No. 90027
>>90023Oh actually, look! Now this is interesting! The exact same conditions are occuring in Iceland at the moment, and farms nearby to the aluminium smelters are becoming sick and dying.
http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2014/09/fluoride-hurting-iceland-farm-animals-201492964047553517.html
>some farmers suspect fluoride from aluminium smelters is making animals sick, but the companies sharply disagree.>but the companies sharply disagreeHmmm…..
Reminds me of the Itai-itai byou incident in Japan when manufacturing plants were dumping mercury into the river and sea around a nearby town. All the people and animals began getting sick from consuming the water and fish, both physically and mentally, and eventually they died in madness and agony. Turns out the companies knew it was aluminium that was the cause all along, but they denied it for years.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Itai-itai_diseaseOfc guys just remember, we used to believe that asbestos was safe as well. Things change, science develops, cover-ups unravel.
No. 90033
>>90029If you couldn't handle your mom's pseudosupport I doubt you would have had the thick skin to go out wearing alt fashion tbh.
anyway, you could always buy a few pieces and wear them in your room and see how you like it. seeing the clothes on your person might be the jolt of confidence you need to go out in them
No. 90043
>>90036I'm in a similar boat. Recently moved into a student house with 10 other people and while almost everyone keeps to themselves (I've been here 2 weeks and still haven't seen 2 of the roommates), there are three that are really social and friendly. I feel awkward because they've known each other for almost a year now and always eat dinner/hang out together and while I am friendly with them it is obvious I'm not one of them (still trying to figure out if they like me or not, kek).
If you want to befriend them just be forward. When they're eating ask if you can join in and do small talk (movies, shows, general college/work life are good starters) and maybe ask if they want to ever grab a coffee or watch a movie at home!
If you want to keep to yourself then don't stress. If you run into them in the kitchen just say hello whenever you see them and that should be fine. If you feel awkward just do small talk like the weather or if they prompt the small talk just keep it lightly active and that's it. Never feel obligated.
No. 90046
File: 1462312193345.gif (513.68 KB, 500x269, tumblr_nq5w10eDo81ux7wsqo1_500…)
>>90042I feel like asking them if it's ok would be too polite. Like kind of insulting to assume it wouldn't.
>>90043thx. I think our situations are a little bit different because it's not a student house. The place is being rented by one of the girls so they can kick me out.
And there are no other people who behave as awkward as I do. But you’re right I should figure out what I want and behave appropriately.
God they didn't just eat cake. They made fucking croissants. Like… they baked them themselves. They are so fucking crafty. I'm not crafty at all. I don't even cook. I'm going to feel like the worst leech. They even left a note informing me there are fresh croissants in the oven. wtf. this is too much. I can't handle people being this nice.
No. 90103
>>90046>They even left a note informing me there are fresh croissants in the oven.This is so nice, omw. And it seems like a genuine kind of nice too. Next time they ask you to eat, just say yes and have a good time. If you say yes enough, you'll become a part of the fold and they'll just assume you'll eat with them without having to ask you. If they cook/bake again, you should definitely ask if you can help or if they can teach you a thing or two. Crafty people love teaching other people, and it's a good bonding experience. Plus, tasty baked goods.
>>90098You do realise that's where lolcow originated, right?
No. 90158
>>90036Wow, I am pretty sure this is exactly how I would behave when I finally move and if the roommates know each other.
I'm looking for a place/roommates now and a lot of matches I'm getting are from girls saying "let's be friends and hang out and share a bottle of wine!" or "my roommate and I are bffs and we're looking for another to join the fold" and similar. I mean, I'm not opposed to the idea of being friends with my roommates, but it just feels like added pressure to have that hanging there from the get-go, and also I don't know how to /don't really like to socialize. Every time I do I remember why I don't, and then avoid doing it just long enough to forget why I don't. Idk man, I feel ya.
No. 90174
>>90169First and foremost you need to take your laptop into the students support or whatever they have and show them this has happened. You will get your grade docked because it's "your fault for not backing it up" or whatever but should give you an extension.
Perhaps if it's just the screen or power, the IT staff can even get your files out, but that would void any warranty on your laptop.
I went through the exact same thing, it's horrible, don't even try to hide from the staff, let them know how terrible things are
No. 90193
>>90022Nothing in that study indicates the level of fluoride in toothpaste or drinking water is neurotoxic. It discusses Chinese schoolchildren exposed to contaminated water with fluoride concentrations between 40-80x higher than what's in the US's water.
Iron is also in our water supply naturally. Multiply the iron concentration by 30x, and guess what, it becomes neurotoxic as well.
>You seriously think that fluoridation of water has been banned in over 30 countries in the last decade alone for no reason?And 25 countries do intentionally fluoridate water; some starting only recently. Including Ireland, Canada, Australia, Brazil, Vietnam, and many others. 28 other countries have naturally fluoridated water, with no additional fluoride added.
No study has ever shown that 3 mg/L or less of fluoride added to water supplies has any sort of neurotoxic effects. The US uses under 1.2 mg/L.
The big bad gubmint is not trying to poison or mind control you. And finding a tiny handful of doctors who argue against the medical consensus only harms your argument, since you have to cherrypick the small few who are against it.
No. 90211
File: 1462423878108.jpg (103.41 KB, 1280x720, 1265570287366.jpg)
Kind of tired of some of my friends at this point. I had a bad few days where I was dealing with my depression and exhaustion from said depression so I didn't want to socialize with anyone as a result, which resulted in them panicking that I had done something dangerous to myself because I wasn't responding to them, which I know was bad on my part but I just didn't have it in me to talk to them. This resulted in us not communicating right before my birthday (the 1st) and me making other plans because I didn't think either of them would be available (one friend decided to go out of town even though we had planned to hang out and the other friend is well known as being unreliable when it comes to hanging out so I wasn't keeping hopeful). After telling the one friend that I was hanging out with someone else I got a long angry message about how I was lying because they talked to that person and assumed they were out of town from their response when I told them previously they were still in town. I was incredibly upset because of how she handled the situation. She told me she had contacted them because she wanted to surprise me but had not said anything other than 'When are you coming back from ____?' and then used that against me and that she was 'so worried' that she was going to drive up to my house just to see if I was alive, which made me even more upset because if that were the case why not contact someone like my parents if you were that worried instead of waiting? It was very clear she was just trying to figure out why I didn't want to hang out with them and she was just trying to pull excuses out of her ass at this point. The whole thing was very poorly explained and it made me extremely irritated. I apologized multiple times just to be done with it because I didn't want to lash out and tell her off after all the times she made me feel shitty and now she's not speaking to me and I'm just…I'm very tired of this dramatic bullshit. I shouldn't have to tell them when I'm going on a break, yes they're good friends that I care about so much but at this point it feels like they're treating me like I'm a child and have to talk to them before doing things. It sucks and I don't know what to do without having it blow up in my face.
No. 90230
>>90195I'm sorry anon. I can totally understand why you feel this way. But you're not useless, you just had a long way to go before you got in an somewhat safe environment. from here you can start again and get help you deserve. I've been abused by my father too and remembered since my 21th birthday. 2 years ago I got to my first therapy and its helpful.
you don't have to listen to your mother, she is somekind of abuser too, since she didn't protect her own child.
No. 90286
>>90253Nope, too expensive
>>90285I'm aware but y'know, my head tells me otherwise etc
>>90284I'm turning 21 this year and feel lile this lol
I think it's normal
No. 90292
>>90284It's what ~society tells you you should feel. I've been told that your 30s are even better than your 20s, and they didn't seem to be lying about it.
>>90286Are there any free/low cost places you can go? If you're from Australia, I can list a few ideas for you. Hope things get better for you soon, anon.
No. 90296
>>90289You see, the only reason why I cared (I don't really anymore) is because it was the only thing I had. As dramatic and retarded as this sounds I got no talent (in anything), I'm not pretty (a bit below average maybe), I sure as hell am not smart and I'm socially retarded. Now that I'm older I'm trying to fix what I can but yea…it won't change too much.
>>90292I'm from the Balkans sadly so even if there was a place that's free, it would require me to travel for a few hours. Guess I'll try once I get a job again and save up some cash
No. 90303
>>90289yes. in many ways anxiety and vanity are deeply intertwined. nobody is as concerned as we think they are; everyone else is just as busy freaking out about their own lives.
just have to stop giving a fuck
muscles and fitness are fantastic anyhow. it's good to be strong in your own body. nobody will be complimenting your skeleton when you're dead in a ditch because you couldn't defend yourself or something. sorry to be so morbid but it's the truth. you have to take care of yourself first and foremost, and people complimenting your skelly body don't deserve the time of day
No. 90379
>>90358Typical shit childhood narc/bordeline mother. Supressed any emotion for 25 years, therapist opened my floodgates. I'm just a mess and ranted.
To the other anon, yeah, sure. You probably have it way worse. I get it.
No. 90394
>>90379this happens to me whenever I've gone to seek therapy.
at some point in the session, I just lose my shit and start crying hysterically. it's so embarrassing for me, especially because I usually cover up stuff pretty well outside of a therapist's office. my coping strategy is just to shunt everything to the side until something else forces me to think about it, though, which isn't necessarily the healthiest way of dealing with anything.
was the therapist any help, at least? the last clinic I went to just put me on these horrible meds for schizophrenia (which I don't even have) that made me into a zombie.
No. 90403
>>90394Exactly what I'm dealing with. Luckily he has been helpful. I think. It's hard to cope with because I have to realize and come to terms with my coping mechanisms, and then try to stop turning to them. I'm having a shit time dealing with this, but I think it might be helping, long term. Thank you.
>>90398I mean. That removed, unemotional state was what I clinged to my whole life. I felt pride in not crying, and when this psych finally broke me I felt ashamed. Scared. Most of all angry. I guess that's logical. I hope this will help. I have no idea though.
>>90400I have tried to think like this as well. I'm paying him, why not use it for what it's worth.
>>90384How come there is always a BPD bitch wanting someone to kill themselves in these threads? I'm honestly curious why you assholes work so hard to make others feel bad. I don't understand. Why are you so mean? Do you get off on it?
No. 90457
>>90455Where did I say that she should commit suicide? I would never say such a thing. Why am I being accused of doing something so awful?!
>>90450It's not. Sorry for that.
No. 90693
File: 1462620249396.png (76.78 KB, 320x285, 1444931194583.png)
>barely graduated high school
>can't get into any college
>can't get a job
>living with physically/sexually abusive mother
>literally no friends
>heroin and opiate addiction
>fat and ugly as hell
>constantly suicidal
No. 90697
>>90455Even
>>90403 interpreted your 'well there are lots of options to end your pain if you know what I mean' as a hint to suicide. Don't act all innocent, you really sound insincere as fuck, especially since you frantically keep saying how wonderful you supposedly are.
No. 90716
File: 1462629551944.jpg (122.55 KB, 807x861, 1430288354341.jpg)
I was dating this guy then moved countries. Now he wants to come and live with me but the thing is, he's a drug addict and moving in specially in a country so far away from home is a big step I'm not sure I want to take but I don't know if he'll accept no for an answer.
No. 90766
>>90739Just because you've worked retail doesn't necessarily mean you have no applicable skills anon.
What skills did you list on your resume and applications?
No. 90770
>>90766the usual, ambitious, driven, works on own initiative, team player, enthusiastic, positive. suppose i should make it less of a cookie cutter thing but the whole thing is really bringing me down. i know i can do the job, i just don't know how to get the interview. sigh.
what field do you work in, anon? do you enjoy it? do you wish you could change jobs?
>>90741why would i ever want to do that?
No. 90826
>>90716>I don't know if he'll accept no for an answerIf this is a concern you have, you already know that living together is a terrible move and that it would also only make things more difficult for you if you decided to break it off afterwards
If you move in together and then he becomes a controlling nutcase that continues to 'not take no for an answer', don't come crying to us
No. 90830
>>90770>enthusiastic, driven, positiveNah, ditch those phrases.
Use words like customer service, critical thinking, creative problem solving, etc.
No. 90831
>>90739I'm soon to have my associates degree and browsing on job search websites still has me worried.
You have four years of work experience at least, this can look good and many places look for experience.
No. 90836
>>90770Make sure you back up all of these 'skills' on your CV
every pleb has a CV that says 'I am a confident team player with good attention to detail", it's almost a turn off. Don't use the phrases unless you have a great example of why you've used them.
No. 90942
>>90830>>90836hey, thanks for this, guys. i've already implemented some changes to my CV based on your advice. it helps to have somebody else's insight, especially when you're at the point where you're overthinking things and putting yourself down for it.
>>90867ah, classic customer service woes. try not to let it get to you too much, though, and look at it as practice on patience. people fucking suck, yeah, but ultimately it's you who decides how to perceive the situations you're in and whether you get angry or not. (easier said than done – i did get better at this over the years though)
what's the field you're going into? do you have to stay in the waitressing job for long?
>>90831four years of irrelevant experience but it is experience i suppose. i'd be happy to start getting some callbacks, is all.
job ads really do list an awful lot of requirements, don't they? i mean… shit. sure guys, i'm a very confident individual. very. i've had to steer away from a bunch of roles ideal for me just because i don't drive. ugh.
No. 90971
>>90968Really? I know prostitution is illegal in the (assuming) US, but escorting too? That surprises me.
It needs to be controlled, regulated and taxed. Banning it outright, as with most things, it's just dumb.
No. 90978
>>90942>driveExactly that too! I never needed it before, but now it's a requirement for every job that appeals to me.
Might go get license this month just so I can start to qualify for jobs.
No. 91103
I just need to scream into the void sometimes. Y'all are not obligated to read, I just need to write it down somewhere cause honestly I don't know where I'll be any time from now. At least maybe one day if I'm dead someone can see this and remember an anon somewhere that got swallowed by the chaos.
I've been treated in a pretty shitty way by people. I don't consider myself conventionally attractive, I'm rather plain, the kind of person you pass by in the street and never notice. I loathe myself and I am an artist that doesn't draw because I'm too insecure and I stopped five years ago. My family is abusive and day after day chips away at my confidence and my entire sense of self. Depression, anxiety, insecurity, abuse… shit I'm all used to.
Five years ago online, I met my best friend. We hit it off from the very first second I spoke to him in that msn group, we were all mutual friends. I hadn't trusted someone so quickly, so intensely. He's four years younger than me and he was just a teenager at the time. I was his "big sister" friend, even though we fancied each other a lot, it wasn't the right time, we never coincided, distance.. different countries both in Europe. He used to hide offline on msn so that he could be the first to say hi when I'd sign in, because I was always quick. We'd talk for hours, and hours, and hours. About everything and nothing. I helped him with his crushes even though it hurt.
Three years later, it just clicked. The time was right and I confessed. We started becoming closer. We moved from msn to skype and we spent more hours there. Staying up all night doing silly things and chatting until the sun would rise. Making silly cute doodles, or I'd send him handwritten letters or gifts he'd absolutely adore. Eventually… well it was natural we wanted to be together. And slowly it happened, talking about it with friends, family, making plans to meet up. My family is psycho and didn't want him to stay with me even though I'm a grownass female so he stayed at hotels. His fam though is cool so I'd stay at his house for a month at a time, usually at the holidays. Myself and him would be 24/7 on skype. We'd go to sleep with our laptops by our bedside so we could drift off together, we'd wake each other up, we'd cook together, chat together. My mum would sometimes yell at us to shut up, she'd shut the lid of the laptop while I was sleeping, she kept saying she wishes it could be over. But it never stopped us.
It was amazing. Having your best friend as your boyfriend? Having the person who knows you inside out? Being silly and goofy and comfortable, opening my boundaries, learning new things, teaching him new things, doing stuff together. Everyone was happy about us, except my parents who sabotaged it often. We were the golden team. The relationship everyone wanted to have. His family accepted me as one of their own. I'd get and give gifts at Christmas, family trips, his grandfather gave me his old huge dictionary so that I could slowly learn the language. We'd cook recipes over there from my own country and give it to the fam. We planned our life and future together. Sooner and sooner the time was coming to close the distance. Two amazing, wonderful years had passed since the start of our relationship, and we were looking forward to two more. He's a musician and he composed a song for me. I'd make things for him, handmade stuff. We both love and adore musicals. It was our thing. We'd listen to them all day, exchange shows, we'd make plans for all the West End shows we'd see together. We held off seeing bootlegs because we made promises to see them live one day. He was so sweet and gentle and caring. He's a feminist and he cares about social issues, about the environment, he's smart and we could he and I both have the same sense of punny, wordy humour. We'd derail into gibberish and laugh between ourselves. We'd make puns until we had to stop. We'd play games together. Sims was "our" thing. We both love the Sims. It was the first word I ever saw from him, actually. "Sims! :D" we'd chill out next to each other for hours on our laptops, playing our Sim games, seeing our families become awesome and all powerful.
But of course… shit always happens. People like me.. people like me don't get happy endings. He was at a school for a year. It's like a school for self development, to partake in hobbies or interests or try new stuff, for a year, and he was there. He met lots of new folk, and he was always busy. So, so busy. He'd be too tired to stay up and chat with me at night, when he'd come back to his dorm room. Or he'd fall asleep somewhere in the common room and I'd be staying up till late, waiting for him. It caused a lot of bickering. Or he'd want to go out with his friends from there, even though he sees them every day. More bickering. He hates Halloween but he wanted to see his friends instead of spending time with me that day, even though he just came back from a school trip. More bickering. I felt.. neglected. He is a very "reasonable" person and to him, feelings of missing me or negativity is just stuff he pushes aside. Hell, some people don't even know one of his cats had died. She just stopped existing in his mind. I went to this school to see it during the Xmas holidays in 2014. I welcomed the 2015 new year there, and we were so hopeful because 2015 was when we decided we'd finally move together. He'd be in Uni and I'd be with him, trying to get a job and learn the language, since I already did all my studies.
He became super depressed from leaving this school. Leaving the productivity, leaving his friends, leaving the atmosphere. I was bitter and hurt too from how difficult that year was and it.. just brought out the worst in us. But I grit my teeth because soon we'd be together. I did and said some shit and I regret it. He was so different when he returned. He was grumpy, not conversational. He'd snap or be snide or hurtful, and I tried my hardest to make him chatty or smile. I'd post silly things from tumblr, or videos, and soon our conversations just seemed like a link dump. I tried so hard to cheer him up. He just never did. He had to decide his study topic for Uni. He always wanted to be a teacher, but he thought about it during that school year and chose Middle Eastern studies because the Syria and Palestine conflicts appeal to him. But that also means he'd study abroad for a year. Where would that leave me? I don't know. I didn't know about this even though he claims he told me. Arguments. More bickering.
But things seemed alright. We were cheerful and we were making plans to move next month (August). I had 5,000 euro saved up, and all I needed was to book a ticket. We'd text sometimes if he wasn't near internet, and he was at a meeting somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no reception. It was cool, until we bickered because I posted a funny image and he was like "ugh that's so tumblr" and I said well no, it's not originally from there, and what does that mean? And we bickered more. He came back, and something felt.. wrong. My stomach was in knots. He said he didn't want to be with my anymore. He said he cares for me, he adores me, but he doesn't feel the same. He didn't have answers about why, or how. He doesn't know, he said.
Everything around me shattered, fell apart. I thought I had found the person that never leaves you. That rock that you support and supports you back. The one who loves you through thick and thin. Your best friend. And what of my future? I live in a shitty country with shitty prospects. What would I do now? My body spasmed, the attacks kept coming and coming. It hurt, it hurt all over. I kept crying and crying, until it felt painful to cry, as though my body was overworking to produce tears.
That year, 2015, my grandfather died and we had to sell the house and there went a huge part of my childhood, my identity, my life. The day after the breakup, my pet rabbit died out of the blue. I had given him to my best friend to take care of him since I'd be moving. We were talking on skype about the breakup and she paused, and said "uhm… I don't know how to say this, but your rabbit just died". Suddenly I'm stuck here, with no bank account, no job, no official documents or experience or anything, because I was supposed to move. The nation went on economical lockdown and capital controls froze everything. I couldn't open an account if I wanted to. Unemployment is through the roof and I'm past the "desirable" age, with zero experience to boot.
My hair, which was always bright ginger, frizzy and curly, and my defining trait to others, started falling out at an alarming rate. I had huge solid balls of hair after every shower. My curls kind of disappeared. I had a mental breakdown and shaved off the side, cut it off at the nape of the neck and I got it dyed blue. I thought well.. it doesn't matter, does it?
A month or two later he changed his profile pic on fb, the one we had together of us, when we first met. He went to uni and he also deleted our "personal" motto we had on skype. A month later in September-ish he said that he's seeing someone new. I was like damn isn't it early? and he was like "it's been two months, it's not exactly early" as though it was no big deal. He was all pragmatic like "yeah I was sad about it, but I'm over it now" and being the annoying kind of "I want you to be happy, you can find someone, it's not the end of the world" blah blah bullshit like he wasn't in the same relationship that I was. The girl he's dating, he met that year at that school. She's.. not me. She's taller, skinny, blonde, she's a volunteer at the Red Cross, she's athletic, she knows aaaaaaaaaall about the middle eastern conflicts and they do shit together about that, but she also likes game of thrones and harry potter and nerdy stuff. Like omgggg so perfect amirite?! Ugh, it hurts so much. It hurts more than I can describe.
And recently he told me he's moving in with her, too. Like wtf. That was meant to be me. Not her. He's all "I'm in a good place and I can't be blamed for being happy" as though someone is putting a gun to his head. Well he doesn't see it like he put a gun to my heart and pulled the fucking trigger. He doesn't see how every word he says is a dagger slicing right through me. He's on antidepressants and shit, but it's not like it's because our breakup affected him, I doubt he even thinks about it, he's too busy being fucking happy with his new perfect fucking girlfriend to care. He's become another person, he was never this way, so cold, so.. robotic.
What have I done to deserve this? People around me act like heeeey it's okaaaay you'll find someone else! it's not the end of the world!!! no you don't fucking get it, do you. I have never been this hurt or betrayed or neglected before. And I've been hurt a lot. It wasn't someone from a distance shooting a random arrow at me. It was from the person you never expect. The person you trust and know and love more than anything in the whole world. And he's all happy and dandy like shit never happened and I am stuck here with a shitty low paying full time job. My hair is a mess because I'm trying to grow it out and fix the colour. I don't care for my body and I starve myself a lot. But I'm such a weak fatty that I crack under the delirious hunger and eat. Or binge. I just want to die. It was the nail on the coffin. I've felt like this for years and years. Like "wow this book is cool but you know what's cooler? being dead". A passive desire to die. And now it's worse than ever. At least before I had goals and dreams and someone to care about.
People downplay the effects of heartbreak. Relationships are emotional consumerism. If one fails, it's alright, you'll find another one. They don't think about the impact that relationships can have on your life, your psyche, your brain, your existence. How weird and vulnerable and joyful and gut wrenching it can be. How sure, there's billions of people, but I can't meet all of them, and so I cherish the people I do come across. Why have the mentality "oh well I can find more like him" when that just means that everyone are just varying degrees of each other?
I'm gonna be 26 this year. And I actually had the audacity to think that things were improving for me. That finally I was going to heal, to start my journey to being a safer, more confident and secure person, when I had people that cared about me. My friends are either not in my city, or they are so busy working or studying or doing shit with their lives that I never see them. I just go to work, come back, sleep, spend time on computer. Rinse and repeat. I thought… I thought I was finally going to be happy. Well, that went south real fast. Two years seems like both a lot of time and a blip. And yet I was so sure of the fact that it'd grow into four, into five, into ten, into more.
I'm sorry to waste your time and space. I'm so sorry for everyone's time I waste. Talking about this. Or talking in general. There's so much better you could do with your time. Evidently. I'm so pathetic. I'm so weak. I can't even be a skinny proana because I'm fat and it doesn't show when my brain is foggy from hunger. I can't even show you symptoms of my suffering. Apart from the mangled, gory mess that's my inside.
I'm so sorry.
No. 91107
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My friend borrowed one of my most expensive dresses for a night out and then had sex with her boyfriend for the first time while wearing it. I mean, I'm happy that they've taken the next step in their relationship and I guess I should have seen this coming but… Idk, I'm going to feel really awkward wearing this in front of them now since it's something that they both probably connect with their first time and it'll just feel really weird.
I can't explain it but it feels like my dress got … dirtied or something and I'm a bit pissed off about it. Now, every time I look at it I can't help but think about how my friend fucked a guy while wearing it and it's just eeeuuugughughughgu
No. 91111
File: 1462829100275.jpg (31.5 KB, 604x604, 1459962899709.jpg)
>>91103Goddamn man, I was going to make fun of you for how dramatic this was written, but fuck if it didn't bring some emotion to my cold, cynical heart.
All I can advise is to find the little things that make life bearable. A taste of your favorite food. A song that takes you somewhere else. Try not to fall into bad habits that are going to persist and hold you back later.
And if you need to gush to an internet stranger, we can exchange throwaway e-mails and you can vent it out.
You can make it.
>>91107Fuck that cunt. Never lend her anything else ever again or give her shit for it every time she asks to borrow something. What she did was really shitty and disrespectful.
No. 91113
>>91111I'm the same anon and bless, you made me laugh. I realise it was written dramatically, if you asked me about it in real life I couldn't stutter a word to you, but in text I rule. I can't even be emotionally open to my psychologist, and that's her job. Apparently I can vent my life to strangers on the internet, though.
Also I laugh at myself first and foremost and if there is anything that gives my cold, cynical heart comfort it's that in the grand scheme of things I don't matter, nothing matters, we're all just chaotic seconds in everlasting entropy. Because nihilism helps me get through the day. If I'm gonna die a lonely, miserable piece of shit then the least I can do is laugh about it.
And thank you anon for the offer! Even typing it out now helped, honestly. You kind of feel uncomfortable talking to your friends over and over about it. I feel like I annoy them. But sometimes keeping everything squashed down is overwhelming, and I need to vent about it. It just happened to be this board, I'm afraid.
No. 91117
File: 1462830539652.gif (419.48 KB, 250x183, okay.gif)
>>91113The anonymity of the internet makes it a lot easier to open up to people you don't know, as a lot of people can attest to. I'm glad I could give you a chuckle and hopefully you find more things to laugh about in the days to come.
No. 91121
>>91110>>91111Shit, you guys have no idea how relieved I am to hear that someone agrees with me. This might sounds strange, but it's my first time letting someone borrow my clothes so I wasn't really sure if it was normal to be upset over this or not.
Also,
>giver her shit for it every time she asks to borrow somethingThis sounds fun.
"Hey anon, can I borrow a pencil?"
"Yeah, as long as you don't fuck your boyfriend with it."
No. 91129
>>91033That does help a bit, thanks.
One of the main things I noticed was the way Facebook behaves after someone dies, posting pictures of them together and making memorial videos and posting on his wall about how they'd miss him and everything, and while I understand the sentiment, I just don't really get the actions. Like, posting something on his wall as if you're talking to him has the same effect as whispering into his gravestone, since he's, y'know, dead, the only difference is that everyone else can see it too. Maybe they get some sense of community from publicly mourning like that but it just goes against my sensibilities to post something like that on FB. I feel like I've been made hyper-aware that post death, everything that's done isn't for the deceased but for the people that knew him.
But despite how I'm coming across I don't feel like I'm above anyone for realising these things, I feel maladapted as a person as though I'm missing something that makes me human.
No. 91138
>>91103I don't have a whole lot to say in response to this because your situation sounds fucking awful, but I did want to commend you on how well written it was.
Usually I don't have time at all for these kind of posts, but it's so articulate and has a lot of emotional depth, so much so that I'm actually impressed.
Any chances of you returning to education and taking a different path though?
No. 91146
>>91103Jesus. That just sucks ass anon. I mean, to find so much happiness and meaning in someone (or something) and have it all crash down is pretty fucking rough and it's going to be painful recovering from a wound that big.
Moving on is going to be hard, but it's not impossible. Do you have anything else you like? How about pursuing something else, or something new? Anything to distract you from him?
I'm so sorry, I wish I could help. I really do. Shit sucks, stay strong anon.
No. 91147
>>91103Jesus. That just sucks ass anon. I mean, to find so much happiness and meaning in someone (or something) and have it all crash down is pretty fucking rough and it's going to be painful recovering from a wound that big.
Moving on is going to be hard, but it's not impossible. Do you have anything else you like? How about pursuing something else, or something new? Anything to distract you from him?
I'm so sorry, I wish I could help. I really do. Shit sucks, stay strong anon.
No. 91157
Ok first of all, do you guys notice how lately, music video’s have a VERY DARK AND SATANIC vibe to them?? For instance a few years ago, pop music video’s were fun, sexy, cute etc. Sorta like when Britney Spears was at the peak of her career and had fresh pop music video’s like “Stronger” or “I’m a Slave For You” “Don’t Let Me Be the Last to Know” etc. You get my point. Compare music video’s from back then until just now. VERY RECENTLY in the past few years. ESPECIALLY once Lady GaGa stepped on the scene, all the music video’s has turned very DARK & SATANIC! I am not joking. Even Beyonce is now in on it. I don’t want to tell you all of what I know, RIGHT NOW, because “THEY” are watching. As a matter of fact, I had a HUGE battle with “THE OTHERS” for a long time and I must admit, they are powerful. But there needs to be someone, anyone, to stand up against them and for our world to be restored back into peace and harmony once again.
No. 91430
>>91138I'm the anon, and thank you so much. I know this is just a random vent board and I was getting overwhelmed and decided to pour my heart into here, but everyone's reaction touched me. A lot of my friends mean well but they get into huge inspirational speeches that I don't need. I just need a shoulder to cry on, or a hug.
I've always been better at articulating myself through text, for as long as I can remember. And that vent was as raw as it can get, in that moment.
Also as far as my education goes, I've been looking into getting into traditional art or concept/digital art in schools. To get into the real nitty gritty of drawing, which I lack. But it's hella expensive. Otherwise I just find any seminar I can afford and enjoy, and try to get a little bit of knowledge here, a bit of info there, etc.
>>91144Hey anon, no I live in Greece, actually. But my mother and my mother's side are from Scotland. Everyone says I should just move there but after that… fiasco, I don't feel emotionally ready to try moving somewhere again, much less by myself.
>>91146Thanks anon
hugs Yeah, it happened all in one night. One day he was fine and we were texting like nothing happened, next thing.. boom, everything collapsed. It has been harsh and confusing and painful, to say the least. And the few times we do talk on facebook, it's difficult for me to not explode or be bitter about it, which only ruins the relationship and makes it seem as though splitting up was the "right" choice, do you know what I mean? It's like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I block him and never talk, then I feel like I lose him. If I try the "stay friends" route he so badly wants, I can't be a good post-relationship friend and I become bitchy, which soils the mood. So again, I lose.
Videogames help a lot. I barely see my friends anyway so it's not like I'm always going out. So I spend my money on vidya. I used half the money I'd saved up and built a bomb desktop computer to play games on. I'm trying to get back into drawing. I have an old as balls sewing machine and I wanna finally learn to sew and knit and crochet.
I'm trying my hardest to get into the hobbies I enjoy. But it's hard when days, weeks and months pass and I realise a lot of my time gets wasted by me being zoned out. My 3ds has been charging for weeks now. I keep meaning to play it. I never do. I'm too tired from work. A full time, 8 hour job and I get 495 euros per month. That's okay since I live with my family but I can't live alone off that. I get up at 6, to be there for 8, finish at 4 and arrive home at 5. I'm a zombie in all regards of the word
cue the cranberries Honestly I'm glad I spoke out here. Hearing voices from random places in the world just saying "hey man, I'm sorry" is so helpful. It's a lot better than what I've heard here, at least.
No. 91441
>>91430>Videogames help a lot. I barely see my friends anyway so it's not like I'm always going out. So I spend my money on vidya. I used half the money I'd saved up and built a bomb desktop computer to play games on. I'm trying to get back into drawing. I have an old as balls sewing machine and I wanna finally learn to sew and knit and crochet. Holy fuck, anon, are you me? I'm also building my own pc, motherboard just came today, I've been horrendously neglectful about drawing (it's getting me down) and I have a new sewing machine I'm trying to learn to use.
Idk if I'm not lonely or I simply block it out because of more important shit in ny life. Mostly I work and then come back, nap or complain on the internet.
No. 91443
>>91441heh, you must be me, because I'm the same! I come back from work, nap for an hour or two, then waste my life on the internet. Then I complain because I wasted it, but when I could be doing something creative, I'm too insecure, which pisses me off, which discourages me from drawing, which stresses me out, etc. It's a vicious cycle.
I hope your pc goes well! ^^ Btw if you just want a soul to have a fellow complaint with, I can create a random email just to chat with :) I understand how precious it is to find people who understand your struggles and don't try to force inspirational quotes down your throat. Sometimes you don't need inspirational quotes. Sometimes you just need someone to validate your struggle.
No. 91445
>>91443>Then I complain because I wasted it, but when I could be doing something creative, I'm too insecure, which pisses me off, which discourages me from drawing, which stresses me out, etc. It's a vicious cycle.I think every artist had struggled with that, especially with the too insecure and then being discouraged right after part. How about you just go "fuck it, I'm gonna draw" and then draw whatever the hell you want. If you don't like it throw it away and then do it again. Remember that each time you throw away something you're improving.
>I understand how precious it is to find people who understand your struggles and don't try to force inspirational quotes down your throat. Sometimes you don't need inspirational quotes. Sometimes you just need someone to validate your struggle.I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate inspirational quotes. As if they actually give any fucking light. Hell, they either just make me feel worse or just downright piss me off. I'm willing to bet that people who make and share those shit are people who are legitimately happy. Just getting to talk to someone is so much better.
>>91444Everyone wants off this ride, anon. Everyone. ;-;
No. 91447
>>91445Yeah, honestly those people are annoying as fuck. "Happiness is just a choice!" "You'd be so much happier if you did [whatever fucking thing they recommend]" "You just need to be positive!"
No, no and no. Shut the fuck up. If it worked for you, great. If you have the psychological range of a teaspoon and you have never felt how paralysing it is to be fighting against your own brain, then you can't give advice to anyone.
They think you're just in a bad mood. No, it's not that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and I'm grumpy. My own brain is sabotaging me.
I highly recommend Andrew Solomon's TED Talk "Depression, the Secret we Share". It's on Youtube. The guy is amazing. I watch it when I feel down because it's the speech equivalent of someone giving you a hug and saying "I know how this feels" and genuinely meaning it.
I think I'm gonna create that email, dammit. Anyone can send to me and just have a vent. I think we need it.
No. 91515
>>91512Yeah, I have to admit it's FOMO that's kept me from just deleting my Facebook. :|
I don't have a problem communicating one-on-one using the Facebook messaging system, but like you I hate that we're basically just broadcasting ourselves everywhere. Maybe I've spent too long on the wrong parts of the Internet, but the idea of leaving that much of an online trail under your real name is terrifying.
No. 91518
>>91515FOMO is the absolute worst. I actually did delete my FB for a while, and reactivated it when I had people tell me 'oh I didn't invite you because you don't have FB,' which is fair enough, but still hurts. You couldn't have texted me, maybe?
>but the idea of leaving that much of an online trail under your real name is terrifying.Kids these days are so lax with giving out their information, even shit like their home addresses to get gifts. Doxing is so easy now because they give out their information freely enough that if you have a handle or two, you can find out all this info, like with the shoplifting tumblrs. I still don't put my real name/location on my profiles, and use different handles on every website out of paranoia.
No. 91519
>>91518>You couldn't have texted me, maybe?omg right? I feel like Facebook has made people more slap-and-dash with their relationships.
I'm not even talking about the dumb kids who link their porn blog to their Instagram (or the lifters who…..post all of their identifying info when they write about their crimes?!) - though that is also terrifying. I'm just talking about commenting on news articles under your real name, Yelp reviews, etc. - it's just a permanent digital trail I'd rather not leave. I use a different handle on every website, as well, and you bet I don't cross link anything.
No. 91550
>>91514Good luck. CalArts used to be great now it just…sigh. Art School is not worth it. So much debt, four years and nothing to show for it aside from me working incredibly hard on my own.
I regret art school so much.
No. 91558
>>91103Never keep in touch with someone after a breakup unless it's a truly mutual one. Even then, keep contact low.
I highly recommend deleting his phone number, unfriending him, etc. It's not pleasant but better than torturing yourself by watching his life go on through the internet.
No. 91559
I think I've started to just realize that I'm more like a person you say Hi to like at work than a actual friend to people I'd consider my friends.
Like I tried to not let it bother me and tried against it for a while, inviting friends out to places, giving days in advance, offering different ideas even simple ones like seeing a film and it was all no's.
Then I'd see something in like facebook where everyone headed out and had fun together, which is lame to say but hurts.
As for now I've just decided to deactivate facebook and remove numbers from my rather already empty contact list and I'll wait and see how long it will be until they try to contact me.
So now I'm just stuck in a cycle of, work, home, food, change clothes, gym, home, sleep.
I'd also rather be wary of self diagnosing but I'm fairly sure I have some form of depression along with anxiety.
>I'l feel low on energy, rather just spend the day in bed awake.
>things that made me happy and things that made me really excited all just feel on the same level, like a 2/10
>sorta feel like I'm going through the motion just as a robot
>not sure on time wise but every so often I'll get bursts of energy and to a ton of things, mostly just tidying and work and honestly feel better until the sort of greyish fog drops down again.
Like I'm honestly not even happy and I'd barely consider this living, just existing.
Thank goodness for the internet because I've never shared this stuff with anyone because I'd rather not burden anyone.
tldr: no friends, no life, depression, at least I have anime.
No. 91563
>>91559I've been there.
I still don't understand why my "friends" did exactly the same thing. Invite everyone but me out, ignore all of my invites, etc. We used to be close.
Anyway, the way I got over it was making new friends, although it can be extremely difficult to do. Took me a long time.
If you can, I highly recommend moving. Best thing I ever did. The people I've met here (in another country) have been the friendliest people I've ever known. Unfortunately I have to move home soon and I'm not looking forward to it.
You probably want to keep facebook though because it can greatly help with getting closer to people you meet.
I really hope I don't end up back where I was, because I've known the grind all too well. It's brutal.
Sorry this is like half advice and half blog.
No. 91564
>>91559Oh and in addition to my last post.
Don't bother trying to get the attention of your "friends". They aren't worth your time if they're treating you like an acquaintance.
Make new friends, and when they come crawling back to see how much fun you're having, give them the finger.
No. 91571
>>91563I'll keep this in mind, Just I'm fairly shy and quiet when meeting new people, I open up and become chatty when I'm comfortable but its not great for first impression sake.
I have been planning on moving but need to take care of a few things and build up some more of my savings.
Yeah I only really ever used it for chatting which I found handy, just sucks seeing postings for missed fun and no invites.
It's cool its nice to just get some response on what to do, I try not to seem so whiny but it helps a ton to vent.
>>91564I don't know if I could ever do this tbh, I don't see myself as being that sort of person and would rather not leave anyone out or alone.
gotta work on my self sacrificial complex a bit but it just seems selfish looking after yourself at times.
No. 91628
My husband and I decided to divorce at the end of January. While it was horrible, we both felt it was the right decision and it was fairly amicable.
A week ago I discovered he'd been seeing another girl since September last year. When I confronted him he flat-out denied it, until I told him I'd read her Twitter which had all the gory details going back months (including the fact she knew he was married, what a fucking gross bitch). He started claiming that I must be mistaken, it must be someone else, he doesn't even know this girl! Uh no, she mentioned you by name, dumbass. Once he realised he'd been rumbled he changed tack, saying it's my fault because I'd been distant blah blah blah. Look, I'll freely admit that the relationship wasn't perfect towards the end but how about breaking up with me before fucking another girl? You know, like an adult? He also calls me a stalker for reading the girl's tweets, even though it's public (when will people learn?) and a mutual friend had sent me the link. Overall he refuses to take any responsibility for his actions whatsoever and takes it out on me instead.
The other issue is he's now living in his home country, on the other side of the world, where we originally got married. At the end of the argument he said that he would sort out the divorce papers and send them ASAP. A few days later he pops up again, saying he'd been in touch with the courthouse and apparently there's two options: we send papers back and forth, which could take 'up to 18 months', or I fly over to his country for 'a couple of weeks, maybe a month'. He's really laying it on thick, apologising for everything and saying that I should definitely go for the quicker option because I'm 'charming and pretty' and deserve a 'better' man. Hmmm, that's rather different from the ranting, blame-anyone-but-himself moron of a few days ago.
There's no way I can suddenly take a month off work to sit around in a country where I barely know anyone. Also I really don't care if I'm technically married for a while, it makes absolutely zero difference. So fuck that. I keep telling him no and he keeps insisting it's the better option.
Now guess why he'd be so keen to get divorced quickly? He's already engaged to the new girl. They've been together for less than 8 months.
When he finally realises I'm definitely not wasting a month of my life he reverts back to the old 'you're horrible and you made me cheat!!!' bullshit. Utterly transparent.
She was already complaining about him on Twitter (including that he's 'emotionally manipulative' - yep, sounds familiar) so chances are they'll break up in less than 18 months anyway.
I didn't know where to include this story but here's one of the things that pissed me off the most. His sister died suddenly in December. As in, admitted to hospital and dead two days later sudden. I couldn't get there (his home country) in time. I felt fucking awful. His family had always been so lovely to me. At the time he was quite horrible about the fact I couldn't make it over there, I (stupidly) put his words down to grief. Turns out he had plenty of comfort anyway - he took the new girl to the hospital. He took that fucking drama to his sister's deathbed and then turned around and yelled at me for 'letting his family down'. When I brought this up to him, he claimed I didn't care about his sister. Fuck you, you piece of shit. I was devastated (and still am). Trying to use his sister's death against me is truly the lowest of the low.
Tl;dr: can't believe I wasted so long on a fucking spineless loser and feel stupid for not seeing it earlier.
No. 91657
>>91653Chin up anon, I'm sure there are women out there who would be into more of an effeminate guy. Hell, there's an older thread in /g/ about submissive guys so I know there are women out there who would be attracted to that.
It may be more of a kink though. But I think making yourself out to be something you're not when you first try to date a girl gives her false expectations. If you're more yourself you'll probably have better luck finding a girl who will want to stick around.
No. 91681
>>91657Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I am very afraid of just being a kink to someone. When I've tried articulating this before it seems like people take me to be talking about BDSM or dom/sub stuff, just some fetish thing.
I just keep getting caught in this cycle where someone takes the initiative and shows interest in me, and I try to reciprocate and end up being more assertive than them to keep their interest, which leads them to believe that that comes naturally to me. When the alternative would just be me being passive and them getting bored and moving on.
I really just want to worry about being a good partner and not about all this gender role stuff.
No. 91693
>>91682This really means a lot to me anon, thank you. I've never met anyone in this kind of relationship, even finding stuff about it online is sorta difficult.
I'm sure your bf is very lucky to have you, hope everything works out for you guys!
No. 91749
>>91514Am I supposed to applaud you now, tell you to go full steam ahead? CalArts doesn't have the pull it used to, and it churns out same-facey, Disney approved art. Art school is a terrible 'investment', even for the connections. You'd be better off individually developing your craft and portfolio instead of trying to impress batty art professors and their inane criteria.
Good luck, regardless.
No. 91760
File: 1463049993507.gif (1.85 MB, 540x293, cryingjuice.gif)
I hate how obsessive I get over internet fame, it's stupid and embarrassing but it's some kind of weird desire I have to be known for making cool things. I get so jealous of artists who not only have a large fanbase, lots of other art friends, and are well-known but also have a consistent and easily recognizable artsyle.
I honestly just want to be a good artist, have a cool non-copycat artstyle, and not want to giveup and kill myself everytime I try to draw something.
No. 91832
>>91760>I hate how obsessive I get over internet fame, it's stupid and embarrassing but it's some kind of weird desire I have to be known for making cool things. I get so jealous of artists who not only have a large fanbase, lots of other art friends, and are well-known but also have a consistent and easily recognizable artsyle.Anon, are you me?? I feel you in everything you say. I wish I had a fanbase who loves and supports me, who cheers for me, is excited for my newest work. I wish I had more art friends, I don't really know
any other artists at all, and it fucking sucks; I feel so alone with my hobby. The other artists I know are either about to stop doing art, or have a complete different style. None of them really gets engaged or loves my style, because we are so different in style and everything else. I wish I could have a nice, consistent art style.
Everytime I get a note on tumblr or a like on FB or IG my heart is racing and it makes me so proud that I actually check multiple times a day, just to see if mayyybe someone out there likes my art, at least some strangers on the internet. Sometimes I stumble upon artists who aren't as good as me and still are much more famous than me, have more likes etc and I drown in jealousy and self hate.
I hate how obsessive I get over internet fame, it's stupid and embarrassing but it's some kind of weird desire I have to be known for making cool things. I get so jealous of artists who not only have a large fanbase, lots of other art friends, and are well-known but also have a consistent and easily recognizable artsyle.
>I honestly just want to be a good artist, have a cool non-copycat artstyle, and not want to giveup and kill myself everytime I try to draw something.Same here.
I guess in the end, all we can really do is work, work work and practice, practice, practice, and maybe one day people will appreciate it. It was nice to get this out of the system and meet a fellow frustrated artist though, usually I ban these thoughts from my mind but sometimes I can't help myself.
>>91761You are right, but it still sucks. My style and taste is far from what is popular on tumblr, and even if I tried I wouldn't even be great at pandering. And after all I want people to like
my work, not my forced awkward pandering bullshit that I dislike myself. I do art for my own entertainment.
No. 91849
>>91760I feel you anon, I just hate how much I care about it… I just get convinced that the lack of fans means I suck at art. It's enough to get me depressed and stop drawing altogether. I'm actually in this "stage" now lol I haven't drawn seriously since last year. I also cut off everything art-related like all my artist friends and my dA/tumblr accounts.
But well… I know that in a few years I'll feel disappointed in myself that I didn't try, and THAT'S when I'll really feel like killing myself. Because if I never try, I'll never improve and get the "popular artist dream" I've always wanted. So really, as artists, that's the best thing we can do I guess.
No. 92380
>>92376"Women, please teach your daughters not to file false rape allegations."
Also notice how positive he still is, he blogs less about his life than we do here. I hate humanity.
No. 92443
File: 1463319165296.jpg (32.95 KB, 514x332, 1427911566386.jpg)
I pooped myself today.
Ive been feeling sick and ive been having diarrhea the whole day today.
Well, I wanted to fart and when I proceeded to do it. a bit of liquid poo came out
fuck. its not the first time either
oh well, at least my bf had a laugh
No. 92495
>>92257To be fair, if I bought a house I'd probably brag all about it too.
But I'd also invite my friends over.
No. 92500
Today, I binged. It always happens on weekends. And even though I have an ED, I couldn't bring myself to purge (which my mother doesn't seem to mind, she actually told me to do it at the fucking sink)
So yeah. I feel awful about it, but I won't purge because if I do, tomorrow I won't have enough motivation to fast
>inb4 lose weight the healthy way
yeah, no, I like my ED, my life doesn't revolve around it, but it's the only good thing I have apart from my good grades. My ED made me prettier than I've ever been, and I actually feel a tiny bit confident about myself. So yeah.
No. 92546
Forgive me if I sound incoherent, I'm too pissed right now.
I fucking had it with my friend. I was considering cutting ties with her a long time ago, but I didn't since her mother said that I was her only friend. The thing is, she lies a lot, and she's fucking good at playing victim, turning her behavior problem when she's being called out into 'look at me, everyone is so mean to me, I deserve to be coddled!!'. The last straw was yesterday, she's lying about being a rape and child abuse survivor. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but if she's indeed a sexual abuse survivor, won't she be hesitated to reveal that she is one, since it can trigger bad memories? The thing is, she blurted it out of nowhere, and I never see any signs of her being abused and stuff. Her family is also a bunch of good people with good rep in the community. I've seen her interacting with her family, and they seem to love her so much, maybe that's why she's craving so much attention. And I know she fucking loves the attention other people gave her right now, being a 'child sexual abuse survivor'. It disgusts me how she accessorize it for her own selfish reasons where all of the real child sexual abuse survivors are still needing therapy to cope with it.
But, fuck it, I don't care anymore, I'll tell her mother I can't keep befriending someone who thinks like that. I don't care if she begs me to stay friends with her, there's a reason why nobody wants to be her friend. She's the root of her problem, she can't blame anyone but herself. She have to accept that and grow up.
No. 92653
File: 1463428478830.jpg (244.01 KB, 1296x972, 1463411604017.jpg)
My suicidal urges getting really strong lately, meds and therapy not cutting it. I have no idea what to do, I don't want to die but my brain is just all kinds of fucked up and wants me to off myself.
No. 92665
I literally trust no one when it comes to things like money, and I get so agitated when I have to lend it to others or work under the promise of being "paid back later". It's really bad.
I got angry today because my mom asked me to pay money meant for my personal shopping for the internet, saying she "ran out". It was like $87 and I was on the verge of snapping and just screaming at her, accusing her of wasting all her money on her boyfriend or church or something, even though I have absolutely no concrete proof of that. I held myself back because I knew it was wrong, but I said something like "Try to separate it from whatever you have left, so you know that it's my money, meant for the internet." in a very nasty tone.
I feel like I'm going to explode and say something I'll really regret one of these days. I want to stop being so angry, because it's not like I've ever even actually been cheated before, but somehow the very idea just makes my blood boil.
When I depended completely on my parents to provide for me, I used to say shit like "Money doesn't matter! I don't care about it!". How far I've come lmao. I'm so disappointed in myself.
No. 92677
>>92653I'm so sorry, anon.
Please talk to your doctor about those urges. They might switch your meds, or get you into more specific therapy.
No. 92690
>>92686More so in big cities but you get grown adults into all that stuff, I definitely know a few skaters in their thirties. It's really hard to meet them but I promise they exist.
If you really love your hobby you can find a way to save up a little for it even if it's just a new tire, but don't let yourself feel anything except awesome for being a seasoned person on an old board or bike. High impact sports are really good for reducing osteoporosis in adulthood, too.
No. 92747
>>92663I just can't find anything to look forward to, I liked someone before and kinda found something to wake up in the morning but it was unrequited so I have nothing again.
>>92677I did, she just increased my dosage and didn't do anything. I'm gonna try another doctor soon.
No. 92789
>>92572She's almost 20 now. I planned to cut the ties, hopefully she doesn't blow up and drag me into her mess.
>>92746I agree, it varies from person to person. And to be honest, I would love to believe her or at least giving her the benefit of the doubt, but aside from her blurting that she's a child sexual abuse survivor out of nowhere, her rape stories just doesn't add up, almost like stories that hurtc0re/soren kid in /snow/ thread writes, only milder. What ticked me off the most, two actual child sexual abuse survivors were noticing something strange in her stories, like I did. They pointed it out in a very polite manner. She got silent and suddenly got really mad and screaming something along,"You don't get to judge me, I have it worse than you two! You meanie people!" then stormed off crying. That alone, along with her various lies in the past, convince me that she's indeed lying. Also, personally, I think it's really disrespectful of her to say that to the actual child abuse survivor. Now she keeps throwing "I was raped" anywhere in every conversation. I just…am done with her. I just hope she would grow up.
No. 92951
Today I had a massive falling out with my mother. I have been feeling massively resentful towards her lately as I have been reflecting a lot on my upbringing and this all came out during the argument.
Some background information- she got pregnant with me at 16 and had to leave school to take care of me. She has never really prioritised mine or my sisters wellbeing (she has been a high functioning heroin addict my whole life and has always put her boyfriends before me and my sister) and I've always felt like she resents me the most since I was born first and she had to give up her youth and future to take care of me. About 14 years ago, she went to a festival where she met my ex step dad, and they proceeded to get married after knowing each other for a few months. This man was the most psychotic, narcissistic son of a bitch I've ever met. My sister and I were grounded pretty much the entirety of our adolescent years because of things like being 1 minute late past curfew, and would constantly belt/whip us for things like not being asleep by the time he decided was appropriate (to clarify, not a bedtime so much as him saying "you need to be in deep slumber within the next 10 minutes or you will be punished"). As I got older, he became an alcoholic and started sexually abusing me. It got to the point that I felt like I needed to move out of home at 16, and when I couldn't, they decided to punish me by making me pay for all my school fees and books, as well as public transport to get to school, in my final year of schooling. Obviously, being 16, I wasn't working more than 10 hours a week and this had all happened within 2 months and I didn't have anywhere near enough time to save up enough money. I couldn't afford to attend school and had to drop out. Fast forward a few years, and my step dad had decided he was too good to be working to support our family, and so my mother divorced him. I recently quit my job because I've just started studying again, and they cut my hours from 30 a week, to 9 hours a week, which is nowhere near enough for me to live on. Which brings me back to the falling out. My mother is a very confrontational person, and instead of asking me what I was doing to be able to pay my share of bills and rent, she just came in to the kitchen while I was preparing breakfast and got angry and started slamming her fists on the counters because she thinks she knows my situation better than I do, without trying to talk to me about it. My mother also gave up a decent head managerial position at an employment agency to become a prostitute once she divorced my step dad, and is now seemingly trying to relive her youth by dating someone who is only 5 years older than I am. She will be 50 in a few years, and I don't see how she plans on maintaining her lifestyle (only works 2-3 nights a week, and spends all her days doing whatever drugs she can find with her junkie boyfriend). She has been hospitalised 3 times this year already because her health is failing, and I asked her what she plans on doing when she turns 50, if she still plans on being a junkie? At that point she lost her shit, and started screaming at me that I needed to leave home immediately and that she will get the police involved if necessary. Mind you, I am unemployed, trying to pay for my schooling so that I have a career and don't end up like her. She didn't know about my step dad sexually abusing me, and that came out during the argument. I feel so terrible because I know I have hurt her deeply now that she knows this, and she kept blaming herself for his actions. I feel like I've totally destroyed our relationship (not that it has ever been a good one or one that I really value) but it's shown me that I am so isolated in my family, the only person that likes me is my sister (I am very shy and socially awkward and I can't even be myself around my family members apart from my sister and even then, that's only because we raised each other). I feel like as I get older, I'm going to keep having the same confrontations because of my resentment until I have no one and that I'm going to die alone and hated. Life doesn't seem worth living if you're so despicable that not even your family values you, and they are meant to love you unconditionally.
Sorry for the massive whinge, I don't really have anyone to tell this to and I don't want to get my sister involved in my mess.
No. 93046
>>92819Wow seriously cut them out of your life
There are girls in these threads that get strung along into this shit because the other person threatens them with suicide or violence, you have no reason except for your own reasons. Let them go already, in ime you will wish you did it sooner.
No. 93058
I'm just so tired of my current life, i can't even think of myself as being happy anymore. I kinda look forward to the future… but most days i wish i was just dead or that i did not fail my first two attempts at suicide, i am just so tired of everything surrounding me. The last months have been incredibly tough, i think, deep inside, even if it hurts to say, i've stopped loving most of my family, the only reason i stay in my house is because i do not have the means to leave right now.
My mother has been so overprotective that i ended up being a reclusive alone piece of shit, i'm 18 and i have yet to be able to leave my house without anyone. Whenever i mentioned i wanted to get a job or leave as soon as i was 18 she always says "as if you can live without me, you are nothing without me, you won't last a month alone, etc",. I cannot stand it, she treats me like i am nothing, like i cannot do anything by myself, it makes me feel so small.
My depression is just skyrocket high since the day before christmas of last year bc grandfather, who lives with us, punched me after i told him to stop beating my cat (he constalty kicked him in the stomach because he bit him when he was annoying him), called me a disgusting whore, told me he wishes i was dead, that i would leave and never come back, that i was never born, telling me i was a savage and a "faggot", choking me, trying to push me while telling me he wish he could kill me… all that good stuff ya know, merry christmas and all that. My family's answer to this mess was anger, but now they tell me i should talk to him (i don't talk to him anymore since that day) and that i should forgive him because he's old, that i shouldn't be so bitter… it's killing me inside how much they prefer saving face over how much that destroyed me.
My grandmother has constant pain and takes it with the whole family, treating us like shit and not letting us speak about anything else than her illnesses. I've stopped speaking since even the most minimal thing gets her crying and telling me/us how we are mistreating her and how we are horrible people, etc. It's just so… draining.
I know they all love me, but i just… don't feel that great in my house.
I'm currently trying to get a car license and a job to leave as far away as possible.
I do not have any friends irl or online to talk to, so everything that has happened in my life has been just inside me, always. I never talk to anyone and spend most of my day exercising or away on the computer, which i don't enjoy anymore, since i just can't find any motivation to do anything. All things that i liked like videogames, anime, books, drawing… i just can't find the motivation or excitement in any of them anymore so idk what more to do.
I'm completly dead inside lmao
No. 93073
>>93069Hate to break it to you anon, but most men in the world are just going to want to get a quick fuck in. They don't care about knowing you, nor do they consider knowing you to be a prerequisite before sex. You'll just have to be like any normal human being who wants something more than sex… shop around or wait for the "right" person to come along that thinks the same way you do.
>wouldn't mind giving blowjobs >bdsm and stuff >boring prudeoh, shut up
No. 93123
>>93100I know that feel anon. My dad brings me all of my old favorite candies, sweets, and calorie heavy foods literally several times a week. And will literally put in my face when I say I'm on my diet. I have to argue with him over not being able to eat deep fried shit or cake. My mom freaks out all the time and tells me I should "eat real food like mc donalds" and says eating at any calorific deficient will make me severely deficit of nutrients and anorexic. I went from finally having (deformed) breasts to being literally flat and it killed all newly gained confidence and will to continue. I would relapse into binging and then lose it and so on for months.
Thankfully my bf and my grandfather have been cheering me on. I'm so close now. I started at 200, was at around 140 when I met my bf and plateaued, and now I'm so freaking close to my goal of 85 pounds (yes I'm an almost literal midget). In about two months I'll be skinny for the first time in my entire life.
You can do it anon, I believe in you!
No. 93158
>>93123Like midget by medical definition?
85 pounds is light even for most asian women. How do you manage loose skin from such a drastic loss?
No. 93176
>>93174What's your major? Just take the extra year to do accounting, accounting is a solid albeit boring career. You'll find work and get a decent salary. As much as I love my BA, most majors in it really are useless unless you want to do postgrad research/law school etc.
Your boyfriend can wait another year. You need job security first. That's way more important.
No. 93192
>>93176Thanks anon, it makes sense, but then I have my doubts. I have ADHD and I worry that I won't be able to get through the 2 upper level math courses with a solid grade.
Psychology. I love it and want to go to grad school, but he's mentioned a timeline. Idk, I'm just so afraid of the future.
No. 93199
>>93192If you want to go to grad school for psych, then you totally should anon! You like it, and it can lead to a few different careers. Is grad school really going to throw that big of a wrench into the 'timeline'? I'm not getting why your bf wants to adhere to it so closely.
Are you getting treatment for your ADHD? If you're set on accounting, math is fine if you put the work into it, it's mainly a matter of practice. Get a head start into the content beforehand if you can. If worse comes to worse, you could always pay a math major or similar to help you out. Math professors are usually happy to help too.
The future will be fine, anon. You have a rough plan now, and you sound like a practical person, you'll be able deal with things as they come.
No. 93227
>>93199We've been together for 4 years. He's motivated me to get my life together instead of an hero. So seeing me through that and therapy has been like an endless road to watching me get my shit together with minimal milestones being reached. He's 31, wants to get a house. We don't want kids so I have no idea what the rush is.
I just started medication and am learning how to cope/organize/structure, but it feels like I can't fix everything fast enough to get my shit together so I can reach this arbitrary "timeline" deadline.
This is all very true. I'll have to talk to him some more. Thanks anon.
No. 93292
>>93158Sorry it took me so long to reply. I'm just tall enough to not be a legal midget at 4'11. I'm not Asian nor am I small framed, but 85 pounds is just on the skinnier side of the healthy range.
You either get it or you don't. Being young and losing it slowly helps, but it all comes down to genetics in the end. Thankfully it was one of my only non-shit genes.
No. 93377
File: 1463755905677.png (160.9 KB, 500x375, 1444340815851.png)
broke up with a bf whom i was supposed to go abroad with
I cant even get a refund and i spent £1400
i feel so shitty
dad is replacing my door in my room so i cant even fucking cry
No. 93387
>>93377Go abroad to live with or go on holiday with?
Because if it's a holiday just go anyway.
Borrow some pity money from your parents if you can, book a hostel so that you will meet other travellers, and just ignore your ex on the plane.
No. 93389
>>93377I second this anon
>>93387 go and have fun if you like to travel.
No. 93415
File: 1463770275072.jpg (20.94 KB, 333x243, 1444340934245.jpg)
>>93387>>93389go on holidays with
I wish i wouldnt be a pussy but i dont think i can go to a non-english speaking country by myself.
ive been crying for the whole day and i have a huge headache now /rant
No. 93418
File: 1463771038889.jpeg (24.23 KB, 500x500, 09d538abf06817022efc9831f87fc6…)
>>93417Korea
apparently you can gt lost there easily according to my now ex bf
so that put me off
besides i wouldnt know what to do there
No. 93421
>>93418Research anon. At least it's an Asian country and not like the Middle East. You should be fairly safe. Even if a lot of people don't speak English in Korea, you can get by with gesticulations and pronunciation of streets or city names. My bf and I went to Japan and he doesn't know a lick of Japanese. He was able to go out without me without a problem. When we looked lost, someone always offered help. There's also always someone at the train stations that can help. Google translate helps too.
Don't be discouraged. You don't have anyone willing to just go with you?
No. 93424
>>93420Y…es
>>93421Thanks anon. That gave me a bit of hope. I might think over it again
I used to have a few friends that currently live in Korea but 3 weeks seems like a lot and id feel like a burden.
No. 93546
File: 1463862873568.gif (1.68 MB, 360x218, Xw1fN1r.gif)
hahaahahhahahaahahhaahah oh man another failed romance ahahahhaahahahahhahaahahah god why do I even try anymore it's clear that I'll die alone fuck it I might go out earlier
No. 93552
File: 1463864591627.jpg (136.26 KB, 658x1024, depositphotos_4415330-Happy-be…)
>>93549>>93546Just bee urself.
No. 93684
File: 1463979543389.jpg (157.9 KB, 640x636, 1463973646683.jpg)
>read article about men who personify sex dolls like they're real girlfriends/wives/children
>apparently most of this behavior is driven by their trauma from previous relationships
>ex. one guy was divorced and feels he can't date again because he's not financially sound and impotent
>ex. another guy has chronic social anxiety and mistrust of people due to childhood bullying
>hence they prefer the dolls because they're "nurturing" and are always there so they don't cause more pain
>in any case, it's tragic that these guys feel they can't connect to anyone real and have to resort to inanimate objects for companionship
>comment on the article stating something to the effect that I hope they find companionship regardless of their circumstances like impotency or bad previous relationships
>many people like the comment and are surprised at "sympathy on the internet"
>because most other men in the comment section attacked their manhoods or think it's just a weird fetish
>no sooner are people responding positively to my comment a bunch of men swoop in and accuse my comment of being "bitter," "jealous," "hypocritical," and "lol you look like a doll soooo ironic!!!" (because I'm wearing lolita in my picture)
>"WOMEN HAVE DILDOS SO THERE!!!!!!!"
I tried to calmly explain that my comment wasn't ill-intended, and that my reference to impotency and bad relationships were based on the reasoning given by the interviewees in the article. Not my assumptions about them.
Furthermore, there's a difference between using a dildo or a fleshlight for pleasure and personifying an inanimate object to be human because of loneliness or being unable to cope with a real human relationship. Dolls, by definition, just aren't nurturing. I may choose to aesthetically look like a doll but I do have the capacity to feel for and nurture my bf.
I just don't know why people always have to find PROBLEMATIC interpretations about nice things said on the internet. People say only SJWs do it, but bullshit, fucking everyone does these days. Everyone is offended and angry at something.
No. 93688
File: 1463982570852.png (90.41 KB, 687x429, are you shitting me.png)
>>93684Vent #2 while I'm still here.
Today I tried to confess my anxiety disorder and depression issues to my parents for support. They called today asking how I've been because I've been making it known to friends that I'm struggling and drowning financially. I broke down on the phone and was an emotional wreck.
Sidenote: I do not trust my parents to understand my emotional issues, and I never have. They view disordered people as "crazy," and they have that half-forsaken baby boomer mentality that if people just "pull themselves up by the bootstraps," and "just do it" and "go to doctor" everything will be okay and mental illness disappears for good and is not a recurring, lifelong ill. If you suffer chronically even though you appear
normal on the outside, you are using your mental illness during weak points in your life as an "excuse" to be lazy and melodramatic.
BUT-if you asked them publicly if they cared about mental illness they'd legitimize it. It's only bad behind closed doors. They only tell me, and not their friends, that struggling mentally is bad because they care about their public image.
They know viewing mental disorders as "excuse-making" is shitty so they hide that from people.
I am not shitting you. My mom is a fucking harpy when it comes to this.
Regardless, I just wanted them to listen to me. I knew I was at an emotional and personal low to confide in my parents about anything. I knew the consequences…but just maybe I thought…
Firstly, I explained why I haven't been going into work and not making as much money to pay bills. I also explained how my tax return got messed up and my company didn't deliver on a cash advance, and so for the past 2 weeks I've had a $0 bi-weekly paycheck to 'live' on save for what my boyfriend has supported me with. My bills are due and I have no choice but to sell my things so my credit score won't tank. In addition, my massive weight gain and lack of energy just compound my daily anxiousness. I honestly do not want to leave my apartment on the daily. Not only is this extremely embarrassing for me, but it makes me feel incredibly guilty.
I've tried calling my insurance to see who covers mental care locally (I have out-of-state aka 'out-of-network' company insurance so the last time I foolishly went to emergency primary care I was billed $1100.00, and another $1300 for a pap smear/blood test–my deductible is $3k even w/copay and both bills don't count towards deductible for reasons). I managed to contact one psychologist center whose director said a psychologist would call me but they never did. It discouraged me greatly, this was last week.
My stepdad was the first to yell at me about my job. My job deals with an angry public, and I absolutely dread going in but it's the only one with benefits and that pays over $15/hr.
>"I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. EVERY WEEK EVER SINCE I WAS A KID I'VE WORKED 40 HOURS AND HAVE HAD A PAYCHECK EVERY WEEK. IF YOU HATE YOUR JOB THEN JUST GET ANOTHER."Even though my stepdad has done equally fucked financial things like failing to get us health insurance, owing the IRS thousands. I also hate how he thinks there's just another job out there with good benefits and decent pay. Most jobs I've looked into using my degree only pay $9-13 per hour entry and have no bennies.
Next, he put mom on the line…
>"I KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS. PANIC DISORDER, RIGHT?…SOMETHING, I'M NOT SURE." Can you google it so you can know that anxiety isn't just something I decide I "won't do" today?
>BUT YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SO MELODRAMATIC AND GET HELP. YOU'RE TALKING IN CIRCLES AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE HAVING SO MUCH DIFFICULTY."Well if you knew what anxiety was you would know why it's difficult. I'm trying to make you understand how I feel but you're talking over me and not listening! I'm also not stupid, I know I need help but I've tried reaching out and for reasons these psychologists haven't returned my calls. I'm discouraged and I break down just trying to look up covered practices to call because I feel hopeless.
>"I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE THIS DIAGNOSIS EVEN HAPPENED. YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU WERE DIAGNOSED IN GRAD SCHOOL? I DON'T THINK YOU'RE STUPID, SO STOP PROJECTING. I JUST DON'T THINK YOU'RE DOING ENOUGH. STOP LYING AND JUST ADMIT YOU HAVEN'T TRIED. OH STOP IT"By this point I was so furious I was screaming at her over the phone like a madwoman. She kept interrupting me, wasn't listening to how I was feeling. All she could do was make me feel like an infant. It got so bad that at one point she was ignoring me while in the background she was looking up "crisis centers" with my stepdad. She threatened
>"IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME DETAILS OF AN APPOINTMENT YOU BOOKED BY TOMORROW I AM CALLING A CRISIS CENTER AND PUTTING YOU IN ONE!!"I hang up.
She tries calling.
I ignore it.
She sends me a text of the crisis center. I google reviews of it. Pic related.
Out of options, I call an employee assistance hotline within my company. I speak to a sweet girl named Ashley. Trembling, I explain to her what I'd been arguing about with my parents for the past two hours and she apologizes that I don't have a good support network. She gives me a list of psychological providers where I can get a four visit trial covered for free.
>text my parents and let them know as per their ultimatum >mom jekyll/hydes me and goes sweet again>"Oh good, I love you anon"…does she really, or does she just love me when I act 'normal' enough.
No. 93718
File: 1464010383541.jpg (81.17 KB, 450x600, image-MXFVXWxs.jpg)
It really annoys me when people don't see obvious shoop and call someone who points it out jealous or liar.
By obvious photoshop I mean pictures similar to this one.
I just don't understand how people can not see it.
No. 93740
I have a lot of difficulty making friends in real life because I have social anxiety and I worry that I'm too dependent on my girlfriend for social interaction. My first semester of college and I spent it waiting under the staircase after class waiting for her.
I spend a lot of time online and for many years and usually spent it lurking forums and such. A few years ago, I found 4chan and spent a lot of time lurking there and posting on boards like /fa/, and /cgl/ and once /r9k/ was back up, spent all of my time there.
I starting going from lonely and depressed to irritable and bitter since then and near the middle of the semester, I finally stopped browsing it and started feeling better. Unfortunately, the other boards I browsed are no longer things I enjoy either.
Well, I guess I should have gotten happier from moving on from shitty people like the ones I interacted with on /r9k/ and such, but now I've gone back to feeling lonely and I didn't have an escape from it
Im kind of glad I found lolcow, though. I feel that the culture here is generally much more tame than a few other forums. Besides the SJW/Anti-SJW mindsets, it's definitely been great here
Ah, sorry for the mess, just kind of typing here
No. 93763
>>93762Having one close, intimate relationship with someone who probably understands you better than a relative is a lot more manageable than putting yourself out there and trying to have a social circle.
And who knows, maybe the person they're dating has the same disorder or experiences with it, so they're more forgiving.
No. 93772
>>93770Honestly? No, because I know I'm a tard and cunt. I hate subjecting friends to it, even the similarly challenged ones, much less any potential (serious) boyfriend.
That's a rude way of saying no one deserves to date me while I'm this awful. No judgment - I know how hard it is to open up to anyone when you've got a mental disorder, so I'm surprised that some people manage to get intimate with such a 'handicap' is all.
No. 93791
>>93769Maybe meeting during a period of wellness?
I'm the anon from
>>93688 and I met my bf out of pure coincidence, and he also happened to know a lot of friends in my circle as well. We had just never met before. I wasn't unwell at the time.
We've been dating two years now and this is the first time I've had an anxious breakdown in our relationship. Fortunately for me, we're open communicators and his ex of five years was a huge basketcase in comparison.
>>93772>That's a rude way of saying no one deserves to date me while I'm this awful.Imo you're being really hard on yourself anon, but hell, I can understand how you're feeling right now.
No. 93804
>>93791I mean, it motivates me to become better. It's harsh, but if it works, it works.
>ex was a huge basketbaseAnd this is why I don't date. Because I know I'm nutso and do NOT want people telling these kinds of stories about me.
Also, because people know I'm nutso and keep setting me up with literal autists so idk man I gotta get my shit together.
No. 93809
>>93804>do NOT want people telling these kinds of stories about meWhich is fair but tbh anon my bf wasn't a jerk and didn't tell me a bunch of unsavory stories about her.
When we first started dating she would call his cell phone while we were out on dates, he'd have to excuse himself to go talk her down, and the whole time she'd do ridiculous stuff like threaten to harm or kill herself if he didn't make time for her right away. Also, I
kind of knew her from a college production and she started to break down once after a townstorming event, so…my impression of her was more because of how she presented herself and not on what I had heard
of her.
Either way anon I hope things start lightening up. I don't wish this ride on anybody.
No. 93898
>>93762>>93769Well, to be honest when we met way back in middle school, I wasn't exactly trying to be her friend and actively avoided her. She'd try to sit with me at lunch to be friendly, but I wouldn't talk and would sometimes skip lunch out of fear she'd bring her friends along
She was and still is very outgoing and I almost hated her for it because it felt like she was making things really difficult, but she eventually kind of gave up on me. In our second year of high school, however, she began talking to me again because I'd usually try to find empty booths to sit in at lunch and she often invited herself over with an unfamiliar group and I sort of started latching on to her
Well, fast forward to the end of high school, and we're good friends and even exchanged numbers and such. Her ex gf moves and she begins talking to me even more and we start dating. I really didn't think it'd work out, but now that she understands my issues a little better, our relationship has been going very well and I can't really see us ever growing apart
I'm afraid Ive even become highly dependent on her for social interaction because as I've said, I still have no friends or intimate relationships outside of her and my anxiety is still a huge problem for me most of time. It even starts to feel lonely, with a gf and all, because she does have a life outside of me
I mean, I see why you think it would be bizarre, but I guess we've just kind of fell into each other. I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder years ago, but never really attempted therapy and such because my mom thought it was kind of stupid and figured I would grow out of it by the end of high school. She's probably right, I feel like I deserve feeling lonely since it's my fault, but I do feel extremely lucky for meeting my gf and hope that we'll stay together for a long time.
Hope this answers your question, anon
No. 93932
I'm sorry, this is gonna be melodramatic af, but I'm trying hard to tone that down.
But I'm so stuck. I dropped out of sixth form about a year ago now. I have anorexia and my weight was severe, and though for the rest of the year it had helped me to cope with my depression and anxiety and helped me to manage the workload, inevitably I reached a point where I couldn't write an essay because all I could think about was food. I was taken to the doctors as "punishment" for dropping out by my mum, even though it was what I had wanted when I first realised I was struggling with depression, and I got diagnosed with severe depression, GAD, and AN. Therapy took a while to get and I only managed to start it at the end of August, so though during the time leading up to that I had tried my hardest to eat more by myself following self-help resources, wanting to be able to start college in September asap, I ultimately wasn't well enough to see that through and had made very little improvement except in my weight, so when I started back at college in September pretty much bordering on healthy, I slipped back and wound up not being able to eat properly and do schoolwork. It was infuriating and I got incredibly anxious very fast, and again dropped out. My therapist told me it was a totally justifiable decision, though I think a part of me was just trying to avoid how scary it was to have to act like I was better when I really wasn't, and my relapse just continued.
Again, I'm in a similar position as I was last year: my mum sold our old house, so we've moved, and we've had workmen over for the past 2 months doing the place up, so I've had to wait to start courses - I'm doing them online so at least I can avoid the anxiety of getting myself in every day and do it in my own time, which isn't ideal, but I don't want to waste another year after effectively wasting two. I'm waiting on seeing a mental health team here, the earliest appointment I could get was at the start of next month and I booked it at the start of April, so I'll likely be starting therapy again in August at the earliest. Again, my weight is severely low. I relapsed in my self-harm to try to stop me breaking things or harming people (I haven't hurt anyone, I'm just afraid that I might on impulse). I've tried to manage my stress levels and the things that set me off but the majority of them are things linked to my mum, and while it's crucial to my recovery to work through my issues with my mum every single time I try to she tells me to "get over it" and to stop trying to tell her what to do. I wish I was seeing myself in a biased way and in reality I was yelling at her bossing her about, but I'm not: one of my issues at the minute is that noises, especially when I'm trying to sleep, make me uncontrollably angry, and I never got through that issue with my old therapist (she told me my anger was "understandable" and that I was just being self-depracative). So when it gets to 11PM I try to sleep, so I can keep a reasonable sleeping schedule, and that's when my mum and stepdad watch TV, with the loudest volume, generally with the door open (we don't even have doors at the minute because they're getting changed as well). I tried one time when I first noticed how this made me feel to ask if they could turn it down - I asked politely, I knew it would get rejected but I wanted to at least try, but in all honesty my mum has terrified me for most of my life so it's really hard to express how I feel to her - and she yelled at me to stop trying to control her life. This scenario played out again yesterday, causing one of my worst episodes, as I hadn't slept the night before for more than 3 hours either. She accused me of ruining her life, a comment that lead me to a panic attack, that then lead to a very hazy anger episode, that then lead to me sat outside in the garden with my quilt over my head crying. I got yelled at for that too and told I "can't just throw tantrums when I don't get my own way", and of course I completely agree, but I genuinely have no control over my actions or emotions in such states. It's fucking embarrassing. I tried so hard to get that across to the MH team member I talked to after overdosing a few months ago (wasn't a suicide attempt, just an impulse I couldn't control and before I realised what I was doing I'd swallowed 10 pills). But they couldn't really do anything as I was moving house too soon, and now all my issues seem to be spread out among different MH professionals that each know different things and I've been dissociating often, restricting and self-harming just to try to regulate my emotions as much as I can, because as much as I've tried to cope healthily my mum has zero tolerance for slip-ups, and at least I know this stuff works, even if it's a major step back.
I really want to get better. I really want to go out and live life and not end up like fucking Ashley Isaacs. But I'm trapped in a toxic house, miles away from everyone I'm friends with, trying to fool myself into thinking that I can tackle A Levels again or do fucking anything productive at all even when I'm even worse off than when I first dropped out. And I don't even know what the fuck I'm dealing with in regards to impulses/emotional stuff because every time I try to voice my concerns about it they say I'm just blowing it out of proportion in my head as a result of being self-depractative, or my mum calls me a liar and says I just need to grow up.
No. 93959
>>93954I often find myself feeling the same way, but that's all it is: a feeling. If you let it get to you, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As long as you don't act desperate by clinging onto people, you'll be fine. Get yourself in the mindset that you're a human and therefore it's natural and normal for you to have friends and social interaction.
No. 94013
About a few years ago I had an infection that spread to my balls. It got really bad. They got really swollen, red, skin was flaking off and shit. Extreme pain. Blood-coming-out-of-dick tier, literally. Antibiotics cleared out the infection, and I thought everything was all good. As the months passed, I noticed my testicles were shrinking, among many other things. I went back to the doctor. They were atrophying. They had been damaged too much from the infection, I was (and obviously still am and always will be) sterile. My body now barely even produces any testosterone. My balls have shrunken by a massive amount and are basically retracted back into my body.
I wanted to have a normal life, and have kids, a family. But now I never will. Adoption isn't the same, I want little "me"s running around, continuations of my life force. I worked at a school for a while and had plenty of the "guardianship" feels fulfilled, but it did nothing to make my desire for my own kids go away.
I fell into huge depression after I found out about the seriousness and permanence of my situation. I basically lost the will to live and had been seriously considering suicide for a while. I was given meds to replace my testosterone. I took them very briefly, but stopped. I still haven't started it back up. What's the fucking point? I'll never be a true man again. I'll never have a fully fulfilled life, the way I wanted it. I'm basically letting this slowly kill me. I'm making sure to get my vitamin D and calcium, I get daily load bearing exercise, to help combat bone loss and joint pain and such things, but I've decided to just let this run its course. I feel like taking testosterone reminds me too much of what I can never have, same with being with women. I'd rather just not think about sex all that much. I'd rather live a completely different life than the one I was wanting to my whole life, since I can't have the life I wanted. At least this way I don't think too much about what could have been. I don't have as many constant reminders, living like this.
I was a bit bisexual before, almost straight really, and I've basically become a huge faggot. My life is entirely different. I look entirely different. I act entirely different. I have no job and I'm supported by my bf. I've lost all ambition in life and now I basically just exist day-to-day, aimlessly going about existence. I have come to enjoy myself again and I try really hard not to think about what happened to me. I've gotten more used to it with time. Most days I feel pretty good although I feel like I'm getting a little stir-crazy with the NEET/housebitch existence. I do love my bf a lot and it is really nice to be loved and taken care of and adored and all that faggy romantic shit. I don't really talk to him or anyone about my shitty feels about all this stuff. I try to keep it away from the surface, and give off an impression to people that I enjoy myself and my life.
I'll still never have the life I wanted, but I suppose things could be worse.
No. 94027
File: 1464149661362.jpg (Spoiler Image,2.54 MB, 2988x5312, bp.jpg)
>>94023
How about my shit-tier boipucci? You're asking for pics from a eunuch obviously you're a gigantic faggot or something :^)
I don't shave anywhere but my face and my pubes by the way. What you see is the level of hair I naturally grow now.
No. 94035
File: 1464151283252.jpg (165 KB, 1366x768, your post.jpg)
>>94033
Here's my brotip: the fewer posts you make, the higher our opinion of you will be. You're just making an ass of yourself m80. You're a wreck. It's been a very long time since I've seen someone as pathetic as you on an imageboard, and that's saying something. Until you fix that you're really not going to progress anywhere in regards to your goals.
No. 94040
File: 1464152573646.jpg (65.38 KB, 500x333, you (3).jpg)
>>94037
>what the fk was that supposed to mene?
That your shit's fucked up and you're all retarded, see? You can't even throw a good insult, let alone a mediocre one. No matter how your posts are interpreted they are pathetic as fuck. This alone makes it pretty obvious you're a robot.
>teehee normies
>im not a robot lol guise cmon
Post some pics of yourself so we can have a real laugh? ;^o I'm sure you look the part too. Is pic related close? Is this you?
No. 94042
File: 1464153091648.png (302.73 KB, 576x463, proof-conference.png)
>>94041
>i actually do training regularly and i'm healthy male in my 20's in much better shape than you based on the pic you posted.
Proofs? Gotta prove it or you're full of shit m80.
Hey maybe if you're hot enough I'll have a good fap. Throw in a timestamp while you're at it so we really know it's you.
If you can't do that, then we're going to have to assume the worst.
No. 94047
>>94043>no picDidn't even read
>>94045I was just having my fun with the omega, he's gotten boring though.
No. 94065
File: 1464157976076.gif (290.67 KB, 200x331, just do it.gif)
>>94064Post yourself or you're fatter :DD
>implying I'd post the image if I even gave a fuck about any possible insult you bitter fucks could come up with No. 94300
File: 1464266282970.jpg (87.62 KB, 640x640, 123897987421.jpg)
Been trying hard to maintain a body like this all my life, I gave birth and gained so much weight and my stomach looks like a testicle. I want to love my child but I feel a bit bitter and I hate myself for feeling this way. I also feel really depressed and maybe this is postpartum depression but it doesn't change the fact this is horrible. My husband has been trying to console me but it doesn't help it that he no longer looks at me the same way…
No. 94303
File: 1464267927933.jpg (5.26 KB, 384x131, images.jpg)
>>94300Is the tummy tuck route out of the question? If you have an aversion to scars, definitely check out carboxytherapy (picture related). It won't solve the problem completely but it will help dramatically.
No. 94470
File: 1464359744371.jpg (20.26 KB, 250x448, slimbutbuff.jpg)
I'm in my first relationship and I've found out very, very quickly that I am just a shitty girlfriend. That's not from any self esteem shit. I am objectively a bad partner, and in general a bad friend. I don't think I'm a bad person but I'm selfish in that if I don't feel like talking to people, I just won't. Half of it is because nobody wants to talk to me so I don't want to bother anyone and the other half is that I'd rather watch movies or sleep than call my friends that need support.
My boyfriend is somehow more insecure than I am and it quite honestly pisses me off. It shouldn't. I should be supporting him. But instead I find myself getting angry and holding myself back from telling him to shut the fuck up. All he does is apologize for the tiniest things. Right now he's apologizing for making me wait 30 minutes. Do I give a fuck? No. I make him wait sometimes, too, and he says "take your time" so you'd think since I don't apologize profusely and have a mental breakdown every time it takes me 20 minutes longer to get ready, that he would understand I don't give a fuck.
He's also insecure about his body which does genuinely make me LIVID. I wish I could post a picture of his body, instead here is a pic of someone with an extremely similar body type. When he talks about how ugly he is it makes me want to cry and it makes me want to leave him sometimes, because I cannot handle a second person's insecurities. My boyfriend is objectively a very handsome and good looking person, anyone would agree that he is an attractive person. Meanwhile I really AM an ugly person. I went from very fat to starving myself to gaining back the weight. There has never been a time in my entire life that I've worked out consistently. My body isn't the worst out there, but my bmi is like 23 right now with a high body fat percentage. He is the settler and I am the reacher, it's painfully obvious if you are an outsider looking in, so it makes me fucking angry when he pushes his insecurities on to me.
I've told him many, many times over the years that I am a crazy bitch. I hate everything about myself. I CANNOT handle my own self loathing on top of another person's self loathing. As a friend I could be there for him, I could comfort him. As a girlfriend it's now my fucking job to make him feel good about himself all the time and it's stressful as hell.
I really love him, but I also want to slap him across the face until he grows the fuck up.
Anyway, just an extremely selfish and trashy ramble. I had to get that off my chest before I explode.
No. 94478
File: 1464363038787.jpg (39.39 KB, 900x900, Angry_pepe.jpg)
i hate my friends and my cousin
whenever i mention my bf's penis size to my friends/cousin they always go ''gasp thats so small'' or ''he wont be able to give you pleasure'' (we're doing ldr) etc etc
and it fucking PISSES ME OFF
it pisses me off the most because his dick is 5.5' so its nowhere near small
are my friends and cousin just sluts? how is that small? how do i react to them offending my bf?
do i just not tell anybody my bf's size?
No. 94484
File: 1464365673466.png (87.77 KB, 900x580, 1464123722087.png)
Man people are just so cruel, wish I wasn't such an oversensitive little bitch.
No. 94485
>>94478that seems average tbh
girth for average is like 5 as well
>>94470seems just like first relationship problems
his body issues should go away after a while, its generally because guys never hear compliments about themselves or very rarely so he has the issues.
as for you you're not crazy just stressed, better to talk even just a tiny bit.
as for working out honestly just do very small changes, nothing insane or drastic, drink more water, try some fruit as a snack rather than chocolate etc
its small changes and sticking to them and more to do with discipline rather than motivation
No. 94487
File: 1464366538754.jpg (49.31 KB, 640x640, taysmug.jpg)
>>94478Why are you telling your cousin about your bfs dick?
No. 94489
>>94486>>94487i havent discussed it in a while bc i realised it was dumb. but they still sometimes mention it and it annoys me.
we just talk about sex and stuff and thats how those things come up? im very close to my cousin shes like a friend to me
No. 94951
>>94921hey, are you me?
i was the baby in the family so my parents spoiled me compared to how they raised my older sibling.
as soon as i turned 16 shit stopped and i was immediately thrown into doing things for myself.
whenever i asked for them to show me how to do mundane chores i was told off for being an idiot.
i'm almost 20 now and i still feel like a fucking pleb. i can take care of myself now but i still lack some common sense in certain areas. it's so frustrating.
No. 95160
File: 1464620308889.jpeg (73.16 KB, 960x520, image.jpeg)
Ok. I have a few things to vent about; they're not super horrible like other anon's stories, but I just need to vent. And maybe a little advice.
I'm 18 years old and all I can seem to get with is fucking losers. I'm not ugly, and I'd like to think above average at least, but I am not… Beautiful? More like cute. So there are no guys outside of an anime convention who like me irl, especially since I'm shy and quiet. The problem is that all the dudes who hound me at conventions and online are seriously ugly. I can't find myself attracted to any of them, just completely repulsed. Even then, there aren't a lot of guys I find attractive in general. I'm so damn picky but my options are limited. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually a lesbian because I admire girls and want to speak, hang out, and do everything with pretty much exclusively girls. I just don't like the idea of talking to guys because I always feel like they're trying to get into my pants. It's just I don't feel like anyone would be comfortable around me anymore if I was a lesbian.
I'm still a virgin and I'm wondering if I should just keep it that way and become a nun. Or see if that 30 year old virgin→ wizard thing applies to girls too.
Second problem is that I'm a massive loner. My other two best friends seem to be able to make so many new friends whatever school they move to or where they go, whereas I just seem to be the most awkward person in the universe or constantly being dealt a shit hand.
For example: my best friend and I go to the same training school. I'm really artistic but I know there's no career in art, so I'm just doing a makeup and hairdressing course and pondering whether to go into SFX/tv/film makeup, beauty therapy, or graphic design/media(again) next year. My friend is determined to be a midwife and she knows what she's doing. As soon as she moves into her class she has a class full of people the same age, friendly and gender mixed with similar interests. My class is 99% party girls who are clique-y, two years younger than me, and are all basically socially capable. Then there's one koreaboo and a chubby girl who's still in the 2000's and has extremely severe anxiety. There's a couple of very normal and average looking girls who are really nice but are the type who hang off groups. I'm used to staying by myself as a weeaboo with minimal interests outside of almost anything not weird, and most years I ended up having to survive by myself because of that and friends moving schools all the time.
It's hard to get close to the koreaboo even though I think she would be a good friend, because she's really still super closed off, even this late in the year. I ended up being friends with the chubby girl because the teacher asked me to; she can be good but it's hard because it can be really one sided.
The weird thing is that the other girls try to include me, namely two. Like I understand and I like to get along, but it's just so weird because we are nothing alike. I have nothing to talk about. I don't know any boys, I don't go to parties, I don't drink, etc, so what do I even say? I do try, though. Chubby girl just seems to mumble and do nothing when asked questions. I can carry a normal conversation and stuff, but it's just not really working. The other girls always seem to be fighting anyway.
No. 95162
>>94921your parents might have pampered you but the key thing has nothing to do with it. it's something you should be able to figure out by intuition. ever got checked for adhd and/or autism?
also blaming your parents for being a shitty adult is the first thing you have to overcome if you want to stop acting retarded.
in this age with youtube, wikihow and dozens of forums explaining basically everything there's no excuse for being bad at life. you don’t even have to go to the library to figure shit out.
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130815123943AAbkQRd No. 95164
>>95160I'm kinda similar anon. I'm and outcast and, despite not being into anime or videogames,
>>95163Witch would probably be the more appropriate equivalent.
No. 95165
File: 1464622369578.jpg (981.25 KB, 1594x1594, IMG_20151022_200806.jpg)
>>95160hmm sounds a little like me at 18. you've defined yourself so narrowly, it severely limits your options. you feel confined, yet you feel cozy in your cage because you've made it your identity. consider this: if all the normie girls in your class suddenly got into anime, would you be happy about that? now you have something in common, but now YOU are common.
your boy problem is just.. adorable.
> all i can seem to get with is (sic) fucking losers> anime> conventions No. 95167
>>95160Have you ever thought you're exaggerating how good looking you are?
I'm average looking and I still get hit on now and again, not often admittedly.
>Koreaboo friendI can tell you're young because you think it's a good idea to make friends with someone based on superficial interests. Trust me, it isn't. Most people into nerdy stuff, especially stuff like K-Pop and Japanese fashion or what have you, are fucking obnoxious and annoying.
No. 95174
File: 1464624141686.jpg (42.03 KB, 920x459, tnV3R1c.jpg)
Bleh.. I met this woman a couple months ago online. We had a pretty good email thing going on and would exchange lengthy letters daily, talking about our lives and observations. We started getting a little closer and flirting gently.
Now she's responding to my page-length emails with a few sentences. It's not that she is bored with me, in fact she will write to me if I go more than two days without writing "Whats wrong? haven't heard from you!" and guilt me into a long letter.
Basically she is doing that fucked up shit that some women have done my whole life. They try to push you away with self-deprecation and minimal conversation while at the same time acting super distraught if you DO slowly leave using that as a confirmation like "see i told you you'd get sick of me"
these days i have no time for this kind of shit and typically i'll just nope the fuck out of there, but this one caught me off guard and i do care for her so here i go, letting her be my emotional vampire.
hey, at least she hasn't threatened suicide, amirite?
No. 95178
File: 1464625636282.jpg (62.12 KB, 396x691, 1464220107890.jpg)
i literally have no other friends than my boyfriend and im so lonely because he never spends time with me. if im lucky he'll game with me for about 45 minutes at night. for the past 3 weeks we havent spent any quality time together or gone anywhere and i feel so dumb and lonely. i know im a loser, i've been one ever since i moved here but now it stings. he's busy smoking pot 3-4 times a day and won't stop. not to mention it's taking a lot out of his bank account, and since we're both 18 we have like no fucking money.
if he does pay attention to me he just wants to fuck and it's so tiring because im never horny and we never do any foreplay or spend time together and kiss or whatever to build up a sexual tension.
his weed smoking is actually repulsing to me now. I used to smoke but i've pretty much completely stopped for over half a year. his breath smells like shit, he acts so stupid and honestly? it feels like im baby sitting a child, though he is a pretty big manchild.
i just wish he would stop playing smash all the time with his friends and maybe do something with me since it's the summer. he never wants to go run or workout with me either so he looks like a fucking skinny beta. (this is probably gonna sound bitchy but he has a super fast metabolism and doesnt have the best self esteem regarding his body so i try to offer to run with him or workout so he can make #gains or w/e.. he's lazy too the least he could do is basic exercise or running to keep healthy..)
this is probably stupid and pointless but i needed to write it out. I want attention.. I want long conversations about anything and everything. I want to go outside and do stuff with him but he just smokes weed all the time despite me telling him i dislike it.
I shouldn't control him anyways but he does it excessively and has been smoking since he was 16. He doesn't even really get high anymore, he treats that shit like cigarettes. he pisses me off a lot too he's so clumsy and again, does dumb shit because he's high.
i always hear "after this, im going on a break" and it never fucking happens. I think he's said it like 7 times since march and i wish he would just stfu and not say it because all i expect from his is disappointment. there's literally no reason to expect him to stick to his word.
Yesterday, since we haven't done anything in literally 3 weeks i asked him to come over after work so we could go somewhere and he spends 2 hours smoking weed with his friends before coming over. i just made him leave me alone because he can't do anything i ask.
maybe im just a bitch idk. I would love to feel like i'm in a 2 and a half year relationship again though.
No. 95180
>>95178that's rough. did you move somewhere to be with him and that's why you have no other friends?
one thing that really stood out to me in your post is you never once mentioned anything positive about your relationship. no good memories of "how it was" or anything at all that you like about the way it is now. think about that.
he sounds like every 18 year old male I've ever known. expecting him to change right now is foolish. get some local friends for support!
No. 95209
File: 1464641966278.png (79.61 KB, 240x240, tumblr_static_e70afsqsobccoogs…)
>>95180i thought it'd be useless to mention "The good times" as it would have been too much to write. our relationship has really good patches and really shitty ones. this is another one of the shitty ones. it's usually when he smokes weed too. when he's on a tolerance break he's much more tolerable and actually does shit like homework and activities.
our relationship started off ldr and actually he moved to where i lived because he lived on a shitty reserve. we had a mutual friend here and the few sort of 'friends' i had are all his friends now. they were all guys tho and like half the group had liked me at one point or another so you could see why there'd be no long term strong friendship there :^)
(he only ever hangs out irl with his friends to smoke weed to, it's kind of annoying to see that he never goes out to do something productive or something normal like go see a movie or hang out at the mall or something normie idk).
local friends is kind of hard to get when theyve all been friends since they were 5 years old and again, i don't have much in common with them. all the girls i talk to online that play games are all american too. and im pretty autistic irl when it comes to socializing with girls my age.
it's true he doesn't change. i sometimes consider ending it but then i'd be even lonelier and he's a good guilt tripper. once the rough patch is over though it's usually super great and i'm happy again.
so maybe there's no point in me bitching but idk where else to say it, i just needed to let it out i guess. I wish he was more romantic and sweet and considerate. I'm trying to improve myself as a person since i'm legally and adult now and idk if im just being too big of a bitch or if my boyfriend is just kind of shitty. i guess it's my own fault for not taking the bus and going somewhere but i feel awkward when doing anything other than shopping alone. i just wish he'd be motivated and encourage me to go places or go outside with him. he's…… lazy honestly.
it honestly feels like he doesn't consider my feelings? he just goes "oh well she's told me she dislikes this and we've fought over this subject a few times but, kekek!!! time to smoke more weed :^)"
honestly i'm prob just not gonna give him sex until he straightens up and maybe that'll motivate him to stop acting 15 for like 2 weeks. sorry if this was stupid to read.. maybe im just emotionally down, or maybe it is affecting me idk.
No. 95251
File: 1464656691616.png (327.23 KB, 512x720, image.png)
>>95165It's not really an issue with the normie girls, it's an issue with myself. I don't expect them not really want them to suddenly like anime or whatever, because not only would that be out of character and weird but most people I meet who like anime are fucking autismos. This probably includes myself, since my interests are so limited to stupid shit, and I'm so embarassed about it I can't even discuss what I like to anyone who isn't the internet or my best friends.
I did cert III media last year, and the class was full of dorky boys and a special two extreme weeaboo guys who were two parts of one neckbeard. One was a fat hobbit with the hairiest feet I've ever seen and obsessed with Pokemon, the other was a ginger fedora wearer who was obsessed with Eminem and his waifus, and used to bring in traced anime art everyday and ruin every group project with his sword art online figurines. They both were the type to become school shooters; the fat one had a lot of autism episodes that made me not want to come to school the next time, just in case.
So basically, I was extremely glad to have a class of normies who were all girls. But ever since they all started constantly fighting I feel like I can't talk to any of them without getting another girl mad.
They're all 16 and I feel like all they really are nice to me for is that they feel bad for me, and just in case they want me to buy their cigarettes for them. It's like a couple girls make a halfway effort to talk to me, then instantly forget.
No. 95299
>>94470Allowing yourself insecurities but not your bf sounds like a dick move tbh, did it occur to you that he finds you attractive despite your insecurities in the same way that you do about him?
Also aside from personal insecurities, sounds like you're insecure about the perceived difference in attractiveness levels and taking it out on him in the form of not leaving any room for him to feel insecure, which is completely unfair to him, especially if he doesn't seem to care about 'settlers and reachers' and dates you regardless. None of this should be news to you since you already said you're a shit gf though.
No. 95433
File: 1464710194116.gif (3.63 MB, 500x281, 83.gif)
My whole apartment building only has two dryer machines and I've been walking downstairs twice an hour for 6 hours only to see them constantly in use and it drives me up the fucking wall. Now one of them is stopped but there's a bunch of dry clothes in it still and it's taking only my last bit of sanity I have left to keep me from flinging them all over the room.
No. 95453
>>95440I'm moving to a new place soon so I don't think it will be a problem much longer.
I also shouldn't be complaining since my rent has been cheap. There's just nothing that annoys me more than going up and down two flights of stairs over and over while my wet clothes become mildewed.
No. 95746
File: 1464770473593.jpg (57.57 KB, 735x550, my-hopes-and-dreams-windows-tr…)
>dream is to become web designer
>poured heart and soul into website
>worked on it for months during free time
>hear that it's unprofessional and looks like it was made in Word
>tfw they're probably right
No. 95771
>>95746Maybe you shouldn't do big projects like this if you're a beginner?
Learn the ropes, do little projects, read books, watch e-learning video.
Don't give up. You just need to work more. Sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something.
No. 95812
File: 1464800316841.jpg (75.86 KB, 736x620, whoreslut.jpg)
MLP
This show was never, EVER meant to have nasty hetro sluts, the only reason so many disgusting male characters get introduced is so sick fucking adult men can self insert and wank their hairy weeners.
I like mlp because it's an innocent girl cartoon. I love the innocents and beauty of a child, God loves children. I loved watching the previous generations of mlp for the reasons I mentioned. First season of FIM was pure, it had no characters who were both adult and male aside from very few (like big mac), but I could just ignore those episodes.
Second season? BAM. Disgusting fucking sick ass shipping material STALIANS. Even that fucking word pisses me off, it's so disgusting. I love watching and jerking off to mlp, but I'm not a fucking faggot who jerks it to BUCKS. GOD HATES FAGGOTS. I want no adult male ponies. I don't care if they have to breed, they can figure something out.
Everyday I get cucked by other men. I see them walking around with beautiful women I can never have. I watch MLP to escape the reality of my pathetic existence, and what do I see? My favorite characters are fucking whores, just like the whores I see out of the streets. I look at these male characters and I know that they must have lustful urges towards my waifus. They MUST, after all, they are ADULT MEN. By making a character adult and male, you are admitting to the audience that said character is a sick fucking adulterer who wants to fuck the pure virginal female characters. Why the fuck are you introducing this sexual perversion on children's programing?
Mr. and Mrs. cake have a fucking baby. That means that these cartoon characters FUCK. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOUR CUTE PONIES HAVING SEX. THIS IS A KIDS SHOW. KEEP THE PONIES PURE, THEY HAVE MAGIC THERE ARE OTHER WAY TO REPRODUCE THAT DON'T INVOLVE FILLING THE STRONG FEMALE ROLE MODELS WITH DISGUSTING MALE BODILY FLUIDS.
Men have urges, and that's why I hate them. I hate their disgusting body hair and their need to fuck woman I desire. Seeing them on a girls show fills me with rage. The whole reason I ever liked MLP is because the female cast remained pure.
No. 95826
File: 1464808767392.jpg (31.05 KB, 486x368, chanel_logo.jpg)
>>95813Speaking as a chink, you should grow eyes on the back of your head. You don't become rich in China without stepping on 1 billion other people.
99% of rich Chinese are also new money. An apt comparison is some trailer trash who won the lottery and now has more $$$ than they know what to do with (esp the older generation). Yet still stingy as fuck.
Because of that, many have absolutely no taste and fashion sense, and buy expensive shit primarily to one-up their peers. They'll buy something expensive if it has a brand-name logo they can show off to their friends.
>Hey, look at my garish and expensive Chanel(tm) logo earrings! No. 95827
File: 1464809216507.jpg (40.92 KB, 500x294, 1433714760152.jpg)
>>95812>a man being jealous of hetero ships in a cartoon because he gets cucked irl and wants to fap Ohhhhhhhh I wanna berieve!!
No. 95829
File: 1464811332388.gif (430.21 KB, 400x250, tumblr_inline_npjb9tZXGM1tsusi…)
1)
I'm stuck in a loop, sort of. A lot of people are telling me to start cooking, which I DO want. However, the problem is; I have nothing to cook. Literally. Our fridge is most of the time empty. No eggs, veggies, fruit, spices or anything. Only maybe flour and oil. Everything that is bought is used in the same day.
Whenever I tell this someone they tell me to "just get a job" (which I'm trying to do) or change the subject. Ugggh… I guess I'll have to veg my mother to buy food so I can try to cook. I can already hear her complain.
2)
I'm terrified of driving. I passed all my test and got my license but I'm scared to drive on my own. The instructors car has extra breaks etc which gave me some security. Our car obviously doesn't. My anxiety is over the roof the second I sit behind the wheel. I'm not afraid to die or something, I'm afraid of accidentally damaging someone else car or god forbid hurt them.
My mother is he only one who knows how to drive and she's absolute shit at explaining stuff, not to mention fucking passive agressive. Insted of explaining stuff on time she says what I need to do few seconds before and if I don't she calls me stupid or yells etc etc etc.
I haven't been behind the wheel for a whole year now…
These are the only two things that I need to fix right now so my life could get better but everything just keeps repeating over and over. Same convos almost every day with the same outcomes….fml
No. 95833
File: 1464816536709.png (39.49 KB, 819x407, Screenshot (1).png)
It makes me really sad when people say stuff like this. I know I shouldn't be bothered by what people say on the internet, especially when they're probably trolling– but it still hurts. It hurts to know that the mistakes I made when I was 16 will continue to haunt me forever. It hurts to know that every single person I meet will judge me and think I'm disgusting and mentally ill and not worth being around, just because of something stupid I did years and years ago. Every time I think I can wear short sleeves or short pants, I remember the evil comments people have made to me and put on a jacket instead.
I've been looking up scar reduction surgery because of this. I can't stand being a freak anymore.
Does anyone else struggle with self-harm? Even with just having to deal with the scars from it, ten years after the fact?
No. 95868
>>95833Anon look into derma rolling.
It has no cost apart from the single purchase of the roller, you can do it at home, and it actually works. It won't make your scars vanish completely but it will make a big difference to the appearance over time.
No. 95876
>>95871Expensive? Anon I'm not sure what it is you're looking at but you buy a derma roller for like, £8, and you do it yourself. You don't need to pay anybody to do it, although people do advertise these services.
And yeah I use one on my stretchmarks and it's made a very big difference over 2 years. Mine were very deep, like ridges, and although they're not still perfect and will never be perfect, they're a hell of a less visible, and the texture has smoothed out a lot, but you need to be consistent with the sessions.
No. 95880
File: 1464855116959.jpg (80.72 KB, 540x435, n3vbwEN.jpg)
Boyfriend is making me feel shit for not wanting to wear makeup anymore
I used to wear it even when id go to a store but i recently stopped because i realised it makes me feel shit. I look shit with natural makeup and with the makeup i usually wear i change my eyeshape completely and i just look like a different person.
I told him id still wear it if we go out somewhere fancy but i dont want to wear it most of the time because its not helping my insecurities.
Instead, he asked me today if im trying to be a feminist because i stopped wearing make up
He makes me feel shit and like im letting myself go. I dont. I have pretty even skin tone and such, its just i have very bad eyebags. I sure dont look pretty but i know i look average which is…not bad, right?
It really hurts me and i wish he would accept it but i guess he projects it as me not giving a fuck about my appearance anymore.
No. 95881
>>95880Why are you dating garbage.
Next time he asks you or mentions it, enquire as to why he's not wearing makeup then. If even so much as utters anything related to it being a "woman's role", fucking dump him then and there. Ridiculous.
No. 95885
>>95880That's fucking dégoûtant mate. No bf should make you feel like shit. Do you know what his mother's like? If she seems chill you should jokingly mention the makeup thing, she'll set him straight.
Did you always wear makeup before? Fact is, he might not like how you look now, in which case you should find someone who does.
No. 95895
>>95815>>95827I'm actually no a troll, just a massive loser. The reason I like MLP is because there is no sex and no relationships. IRL woman are whores, but these ponies are pure. That's why I like to jerk off while watching the show. I feel horrible and disgusted with myself after I do it, but I can't stop myself. I'm a disgusting human male after all, and whether I like it or not, my balls fill up with sperm. I would rather ease my discomfort to something pure, It's better than wanking it to pictures of literal whores and man whores exchanging fluids like dirty animals. MLP is cute, clean, and pure. Keep the dick wielding scum out of it.
>>95814Except the difference here is that I jerk of in my own apartment. I don't boast about the testosterone that my testicles produce in from of LITTLE GIRLS like this show does. The way the male characters display traits that are typical of human males is disgusting, pony reproduction should not mimic human reproduction. I watch MLP to escape the disgusting nature of human reproduction, not to watch the male characters cuck me. Another thing that pissed me off is how, in the baby cakes episode, the mane six knew that Mr. and Mrs. cake had sex, but they were completely okay with it. They were confronted with damning evidence that someone they know and love had sex, and they could not give two shits. It would have been different if they had been asking where the baby came from, but they didn't. They knew damn well how they produced those babies. Fucking sick. Am I supposed to jerk it to my imagination now?
No. 95946
File: 1464882898459.gif (750.28 KB, 500x235, giphy (1).gif)
>>95895> IRL woman are whores, but these ponies are pure. Are you positive you aren't a troll? Not even a little bit? Even a tiiiiiiiny bit?
No. 95955
File: 1464886170513.jpg (80.51 KB, 500x375, 621.jpg)
>>95895I feel like the best solution is for you to kill yourself, honestly.
No. 95957
>>95880Anyone who gets on a girl for not wearing makeup is literal trash. People are not born and expected to wear it, You choose to wear it willingly. If he doesn't like it, dump him.
I never understood the big deal. A large percentage of people don't wear makeup because it's time consuming, expensive and can damage your skin if you wear all the damn time.
No. 95958
File: 1464886475109.gif (682.82 KB, 500x282, anigif_enhanced-buzz-3087-1424…)
>>95882Guys do wear makeup. Makeup isn't gender exclusive… They wear it all over Asian (foundation, concealer)
And most musicians do it as well. This guy sounds like a real piece of shit.
>bad impression If his mom doesnt like you because you're bare faced, she's a cunt. You need to escape now.
No. 95981
File: 1464894095674.jpeg (47.6 KB, 640x387, image.jpeg)
>dad hasn't called me in like a week
>starts calling me through facebook
>annoyed but I try and pick up
>hangs up on me instead
>get a voice message where i can hear his new girlfriend and her little son and they're all bonding together
why can't I have normal parents ffs
No. 95983
>>95981Sorry to hear that, anon. You'll be okay.
OT but that damn scene with Bowie always reminds me of the fact you can see his penis for a few seconds. Dammit, I still miss Bowie. I'm in denial.
No. 96060
Sorry for the long post, this is just going to be a constant rambling
For the first time in many years, it felt like I managed to crawl out of my depression. It lasted for about two days. I was exercising, drinking a lot of water, work was going okay, but now it feels like I'm slipping right back
I can't help but to fixate on all of the negative aspects of life.
I worry that my coworkers all think I'm autistic or stupid and that I'm not good enough to be there. I got a Saturday off this week, and although it's probably because it's going to be a bit slow, I can't help but to make up the worst reasons as to why I wasn't such as "they don't need me because I don't do a good job" or "I just get in the way and can't have me screwing up on our busiest shifts". That, and I'm just not making enough. I live with my girlfriend's parents and only work 20 hours a week and have classes all year long and my next summer class is about to start and I'm tired and it feels like I can never get enough done in a single day and I'm being selfish for feeling this way because I'm not trying hard enough and deserve to feel like garbage because I don't amount to anything
I'm afraid of even looking her parents in the eyes. I feel like a leech and I just want to move out but I'm so poor and useless, I don't know how I'm going to do it. i need to go to school, but I need to work but I can't fail or else I won't get any financial aide either and I don't make enough per paycheck to cover my tution on my own
My mom wouldn't want to help me, I sometimes wish I'd never had dated my girlfriend if I had known she'd be so upset about it. I thought she wouldn't care because she knew she was gay and I didn't even get the chance to announce it the way I had planned. She just got rid of me and it was all my fault for being so stupid and ignorant. It could have been so much easier if I just stuck to my studies and focused on work and I ended up ruining my life.
It wasn't even that bad at first, the gravity of the situation didn't really register for the first few months because I was paying rent and going to school and I got to spend the entire day with her, but I can't even drive. I couldn't walk to my old job anymore and had to quit and it took months before I could find another one and I'm no good at it. I'm almost positive my coworkers don't like me, I'm too quiet and awkward and I can't do anything right. The probably only hired me because I had experience and thought I could do well, but I used to work in the back, not with the customers. being around massive crowds all of the time puts me on edge and it's stupid to have so much anxiety about being around other people because I'm too old and shouldn't have these issues anymore. I should've gotten over them by now
Even though I do live with my girlfriend now, I feel so lonely. I don't have time to be by myself and recover, which might sound contradictory, but I can't cope with problems when I have no time to be alone. When I have problems, I can get over it or set them aside if I have time to think it over, but I always did that in my own room in my own company. That's the only way I know how to cope, but now I'm with another person all of the time. There is no being in a room alone when I want to be anymore, but it feels lonely when I don't even when she's still there.
she's very social and has plenty of friends and doesn't exactly need me the way that I feel I need her. She's all that I have anymore, but I don't understand how she could love me. I wasn't even her first choice, she only settled for me when her girlfriend moved. I'm no where near as good as she is, she only liked me because I was into dorky nonesense that I don't even have time, energy or enthusiasm for anymore. Her ex actually had a good personality and was pretty and interesting and im afraid I'm never going to be able to make her as happy as she did.
I have no talents or skills or any other redeeming quality. My whole plan before college and even back in high school was to play up my strengths to combat the fact that I'm not attractive physically. I know it's not the most important thing, but it was drilled into our heads in my family, so sometimes it feels that way.
I sometimes think things would be easier if I was better looking. like, if have more confidence and building relationships with other people would be easier. I don't even think I look human most of the time. There's not a single trait I can find that doesn't look aesthetically pleasing and knowing that other people see it every time I leave our room is devestating. Meeting eyes with my girlfriend, a very beautiful, talented and pleasant person to be around, knowing that she's looking right back at me feels like torture.
Im afraid of my rats dying someday because it feels like, even if they don't love me the same way that I love them, they don't see me the way that others do. I take care of them and they know they can rely on me. They feel safe and will always come when I call them, but they're getting much older now.
No. 96123
File: 1464984596335.jpg (29.75 KB, 576x521, FB_IMG_1463294971303.jpg)
I'm slowly going insane from loneliness, stress from eorkeork, shitty work hours and sexual frustration. I can't even look at myself in the mirror because I think I'm disgusting, feel like I'm gonna die all alone forgotten without achieving anything worthwhile. Our business got bankrupted couple of years ago and I'm working to keep my family afloat with my dad, my mom started having problems with her kidney, sister just doesn't give a fuck and goes out all day to have fun with her bf while I'm busting my ass at work, put school on hold for my family, all alone with no fucking support. I daydream about suicide everyday, I'm reaching my wits end I don't know what to fuck to do.
No. 96143
For fucks sake, I lack fucking self-discipline so much. I have so much shit to do but I don't feel like doing it most of the time. And to not feel guildy for not doing it I keep myself away from games or any other form of entertainment and in the way I just waste whole days doing nothing.
I'm sick of university and passive sitting and learning and exercises just for the sake of getting good at something, with no connection to the real world. I want something based on real world, I want to see fucking fruits of my work somewhere else than in my head and on the blackboard. Maybe some research.
I'm not in a mood to run from office to office and do fucktons of paperwork again to secure my place in university due to unusual circumstances.
I want some manual work or entertainment. I'm sick of boring, high end math and theory and forcing myself to think about stuff that I'll most likely never make use of. I want to sit with a knife on a fucking tree or wall or whatever and carve dicks, boats, spikes, vehicles, animals and characters in wood. I want to have time to learn russian, electrics and electronics. I want to have time to write online multiplayer version of my favourite games for GBA/NDS. I want to have time to get some part time job to amass more money to not reach into black hour savings to cover incoming expenses.
I'm getting swings between being paranoid, pissed and melanholic due to no sign from girl I like. One of very few girls I don't find annoying or dumb as fuck. My female clone. First girl I decided is worth trying to create serious relationship with. I'm trying so fucking hard to come up with variety of activities we can do, to make her laugh and make it all enjoyable but ffs, it's so frustrating when you get no sign if she likes it or not. I know she has little time due to uni stuff but fuck, I want to push this relationship forward, I want to spend time with her and open her up. Give me a fucking sign ffs. Open up a little. Call me for once. Let me help you or care for you. For fucks sake, you're on top of my priority list and when it comes to stuff related to you I'm for some reason always motivated. Give me fucking hope.
It pisses me off that I'm most likely the same as her to others but I don't care if others feel about me the way I feel about her right now because I hate hypocrisy.
I want to find job in more rural and poor part of the country because I hate fucking cities. The problem is, in these parts of the country it's harder to find work. I want to take girl with me but I'm not sure if she'd want it and how hard it would be for her to also find work there. I want to have small piece of farm land and grow potatoes, strawberries, currants and apples. I want couple of chickens and cow.
I'm pissed at retarded gun laws here. I don't want to force myself to meet quota of shooting contests or hunting to keep my licence. I want to participate in contests when I feel like it. I just want to keep my property and family safe, casually shoot every now and then for entertainment and training, and teach future kids how to shoot.
I'm fucking mad about politics and current political correctness and overtolerance. I don't want fucking muslim or african animals polluting this country in the future with their shitty culture and crime. I don't want people getting sued or fined all over the place for pointing out truth and when some fucktard gets slightly offended. I'm getting fucking tired of all those special snowflakes, savagery, overentitlement and egoism of libtards and people they think they protect. I'm tired of media, politicians, corporations and other pieces of shit pandering to fucking minorities and claiming it's still democracy. Favouring minorities over majorities is fucking opposite of democracy you fucking shitheads. I'd have more fucking respect for you if you told us straight to our faces that you're making big money here and you don't care about us, you care only about country not completely falling so you could keep milking it. Fuck you and most people in general. I'm tired of your bullshit. I just want to take people I care about and fuck off with them to some rural place where no one will bother us. Fuck you all. I hope bunch of aids ridden nigger teenagers fuck you in the ass till you bleed for eternity from it.
No. 96177
>>80845wew i just fucking bombed my biology lab final. it was honestly ridiculously difficult and had little to nothing to do with any of the experiments we actually did in class, so i don't even understand why all the TAs and instructors kept telling us to go over the lab manual and make sure we know the procedure because the fucking procedure was barely on the actual test. it was mostly application of the concept behind the procedure in a completely different situation, which meant that if you had a shallow understanding of the experiment, you were pretty much screwed. idk honestly and my TA was such a hard grader that she would dock points off for the tiniest errors in our lab reports/worksheets, which most of the other and previous TA's didn't do. Like not even errors that could somehow affect the integrity of our data, just fucking stupid shit. lab finals are always difficult relative to the previous course material and quizzes, yeah, but i was counting on the lab reports and stuff to keep me afloat like last quarter. i had a solid B in the class before my final, which was an okay final grade, but it's not going to be enough to rescue me now. and yeah, there's a curve, but the curve is optional and depends on the TA, and i kind of really doubt that ours will be merciful enough to curve the scores. HA HA HA fuck i want to die.
No. 96287
>>96242Do. Not. Respond.
When people do this shit they are only looking for one thing; a reaction. Do not give it to him. Do not unblock him. Do not respond to him. Pretend he doesn't exist and he will eventually move onto the next target of his frustrations.
No. 96288
Nigerian guys keep coming up to me in the street, in supermarkets, in stores asking me for my number and to see me again when I've never met them in my life. I don't know what it is about me or what I'm doing to attract these guys specifically but I think maybe it's because I'm white, blonde and always walking around on my own. Maybe some of it has to do with my body, because I'm 5'7" and like to lift weights and workout but I still eat enough to remain quite thick which I prefer because I'm very paranoid about my personal safety.
Last year I had a Nigerian guy living in my student accommodation and we were all having drinks one night, swapping stories, having bants and the like, and we turned to him and said "Hey Thomas, what kind of women do you like", and he fucking pointed at me.
He said "You are good, we do not like them soooo… this skinny is so popular in the West but we like our women big and powerful, and so if we are able to conquer these women it is an achievement for us". Th-thanks.
Has anybody else had this where they're attracting a particular demographic constantly? I think I'm going on a diet and putting down the weights for a while, jeez.
No. 96292
>>96288I live in a pretty diverse city so personally, no. That being said my Korean friend only gets hit on by white guys (white latinos too), not even other Korean or Asian guys. She gets upset about it because she wants to be with someone who understands her culture and Korean without being presumptuous, which she says is the case with the white guys that go after her.
Something I remember her telling me is that a few eventually go "so you're not like most koreans because you like/dislike _____" or "I would't have expected this because Koreans _____".
It's crazy to me how anyone of any background could like someone solely because of their ethnic background or race (cultural background is a bit different to me though).
No. 96293
>>96292I've literally never encountered an IRL white guy who obsesses over asian women.
Are you sure your friend isn't just humblebragging? Asian girls do this whole "ugh, white guys absolutely love me and think I'm perfect and beautiful" routine a lot.
No. 96304
>>96293I've never encountered what this anon
>>96288 is talking about either, but that doesn't mean she's "humblebragging".
Stop making excuses just because the creeps are white in this case. White guys can be fucking spergs.
No. 96308
>>96304No doubt. But I just find the implication asian girls are helpless victims when they fetishize white guys just as much if not more a little dubious.
>making excusesI'm not "making excuses", I just find the idea that every or even a majority of white guys have thirst for asian girls kind of hard to believe.
>>96306>yellow fever is hugeSee, this is where I'm at odds with you. I just don't see it. At all. If anything most of what I've heard is that asian girls are shapeless and have no tits. Perhaps it depends on the circles you socialize in, mine are pretty normal, 20-something white professionals and I'd say the vast majority of them prefer white girls. If your social circles are people who like cosplay and are still obsessively watching anime then it's probably a bit different.
No. 96309
>>96293Nah, she's not like that. She only ever brings it up of our other friends bring up something weird someone we dated did. Like, she never brings up race/ethnicity first unless she wants to specify the fact that she tried to explain to a guy that she grew up in the U.S. and therefor some of the stereotypes don't apply to her but he ignores it.
>>96308Btw, I didn't mean to make it seem as though every white guy on the face of the earth is after her, just that for some reason white guys are the only guys that have shown an interest in her, enough so to hit on or flirt with her. Guys from other races haven't.
Also yellow-fever does not exclusively refer to white guys, just anyone that fetishizes Asian people. Some argue that even Asians can be regarded as having yellow fever if they obsess over a specific ethnic group within Asia.
No. 96311
>>96293Uhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm
>>96288 and why would anybody want to brag about enormous Nigeran men targeting them on the street with the intention of 'conquering' them. It's nothing to brag about.
No. 96320
>>96311Idk, but some white women like to do shit like that.
See: Tess Munster and her "Black men love me!".
No. 96323
>>96322Yeah, I can't imagine people being flattered at being treated that way unless they have like absolutely no self-esteem.
It's like when guys say "But cat-calling is a compliment!".
No. 96338
>>96327Yeah, I mean the guy even apparently graduated from the uni I'm attended, although he could have just been saying that, but obviously a Western education does nothing wash away their garbage attitude to women.
The worst bit was how he approached me. Fuck, just, fucking listen to this.
>walking down the street, huge black guy jumps in front of me>OH GOD JESUS NO>"excuse me, excuse me">"uh.. h-hello? (that accent, he must be from Nigeria)>"do you believe you are a good woman?">I… I think so (what the fuck is he trying to sell me)>"well, sharing is caring"He fucking pulls out three cans of Irn Bru and tells me to take one
>N-no thank you but thanks for the offer>"are you on a diet or something? Because you don't need to lose weight>Oh no, I just, there's too much sugar in them. I only drink water ( D: )>"okay, okay, so where are you going">"what are you doing">"where are you going after this">"I would like to see you again">( D: D: D: D: ) No. 96350
>>96338I had a super pushy Nigerian guy creep on me while I was at work.
He had the office suite next to ours and he knew we were moving out. I always kept the door locked during business hours because I was often alone working for hours at a time and didn't feel comfortable with it unlocked. Whenever he'd come bang on the door I'd ignore him and he'd sit there knocking for 10 minutes. He eventually got the landlord to come over so he could "tour" the office suite. He left within a minute with her, and as soon as she was gone he barged back in before I could lock the door. He leaned over my desk and this happened:
>"so you are moving? Give me your number.">…Why?>"are we not friends? Friends call and share numbers, give me your number.">uhh, I don't use my phone much at all. I usually email my friends.He was already aggressive when he walked in but now he's edging up to psychotic mode.
>"do you have a boyfriend?">uhh…yes, I do.>"where does he live?">in Oklahoma.>"Really now."And started playing 20 questions with me to catch me lying about the boyfriend, getting more and more upset. I honestly started shaking and wanted to cry because this dude was 20+ years older than me and had at least a foot of height and 100lbs above me. He got pissed off enough that he stormed out and I jumped up and locked the door behind him. He came back an hour later and tried the door and I just hid in the bathroom with the phone predialed to 9-1-1 in case he tried anything.
Honestly him and his little coworkers were all the same and fucking terrifying. So glad I'm away from them.
No. 96358
>>96338I think what
>>96327 is suggesting is the airline ticket is a good filter for lowlifes when it comes to immigration. Lots of American liberals can't comprehend Muslims being crappy people because here we mostly get highly motivated/educated Muslims, Nigerians, and Somalians immigrating here. It is absolutely true the US gets the best immigrants Africa has to offer.
I can see why Europeans think Donald Trump is outrageous, because from what I hear, most Mexicans you find in Europe are educated and wealthy and polite, not like the desperate uneducated masses we see here in the southern border states.
No. 96361
File: 1465180743325.jpg (49.52 KB, 472x376, tnXk8Rh.jpg)
>>96359i know that feel. it burns. it burns inside.
i know a salve, but you aren't going to like it. delete everything you have of that person. pictures, texts, logs, emails, and most importantly, remove them from your contact lists so you don't keep checking.. and checking.. and checking.. and if you can, jump into another relationship pronto. doesn't have to be serious.
No. 96442
File: 1465254259322.jpg (73.97 KB, 599x563, 1464542344002.jpg)
>>80845My neighbour is a crazy psychopath and he decided he hates me (?!) recently. I'm legit worried for my safety. Mostly annoyed because if I cross him while coming back from work/groceries/whatever he will pull his weirdo antics and that always puts a damper on my day.
I have half a mind to report him to the concierge or at least talk to his wife, but she's leaving him soon because of his crazy ways so it would be pointless.
His antics include honking his car loudly for ages whenever he sees me, shouting fuck off at my back (he's too pussy to do it to my face) and creepily looking me up and down and whispering weird shit like "niceeeee" if I'm wearing anything that shows any skin. And I mean anything. With the niceee incident I was wearing a regular tank top and long baggy jeans. I was taking out the rubbish or whatever. I'm not going to wear a burqua in the middle of summer just to keep this aging moron at bay.
My interactions with him are 99% talking to his wife, she's a lovely lady (yes, someone sane and nice married him) and asking her to make him leave me alone. I said "hello" to him a few times when I first moved in and didn't know he's cray cray, but he didn't respond so I stopped saying hello. He moved and looked weird so I let him be, figured he was deaf or whatever. People don't have to say hello, I was cool with that.
I'm not a loud neighbour or anything, in fact my neighbours sometimes wonder if I've moved out I'm that quiet. So he has no reason to hate me. I should ask around the building, maybe I'm not the only one he shouts weird stuff at.
No. 96476
>>96450Okay so, I had braces for 4 years, one tooth exposure (my tooth was basically growing in above my gums…like an inch above where it was supposed to be), and physiotherapy on my jaw. I used to have horrible jaw pain, and my doctors basically told me that my skull isn't shaped right. My jaw is too small, and my skull is slightly asymmetrical. Add to that the fact that I had horrible posture, and you'll understand that I was in pain all the time.
One of my physio exercises to align my jaw was to stand straight, and with my mouth closed, place my tongue on the roof of my mouth. Rest the tip of your tongue against the back of your top front teeth. Then, with your tongue still in place, open your mouth (don't open it super wide, just a regular amount. Keep your jaw comfortable). Hold it for a few second, and then close your mouth. Do that 10 times.
Your jaw will feel more "loose", and it should be easier to find your natural bite pattern.
No. 96483
File: 1465306462821.jpg (44.13 KB, 382x470, 133513928.jpg)
There's a new chick in work and I really wish she quits.
She looks like your typical pretty blonde Scandinavian girl (pic related) with the personality of a toaster, except half as useful. Her every other word is 'like' and she always does this cutesy nervous giggle whenever she doesn't know what's going on (which is always). She doesn't do any work, speaks horrible English whilst somehow managing to sound like a vapid valley girl at the same time, and all the guys in work are crawling up her arse because she's a pretty foreign girl.
Don't get me wrong, she's nice (and I'd never talk shit behind her back to other coworkers or anything mean without given reason to), but they basically hired her for her pretty face and it pisses me off.
No. 96556
>>96358Lmao, thats definitely what I suggested when I mentioned the academic achievement of Nigerians in the U.S.
Idk whats so difficult to understand about not generalizing an entire ethnic group, but w/e since it makes you feel better I highly doubt logic will ever make you stop.
>>96338>>96350Tbh, I also brought up the difference because I think that a persons environment has a direct impact on their behavior. I hardly come across any Nigerians that will hit on a woman in that manner, their community tells them off for even dressing inappropriately in my city.
The people who do hit on women that lamely usually grew up here already, or are a poor immigrant community from a specific country (I refuse to name it because I don't think it's necessary to paint an inaccurate picture of what these people are like. A couple of pigs doesn't automatically equate to an entire nationality/ethnicity of men thinking women are just walking holes. Even with whats going on in Brazil I would never think I'd be raped the second I got there and no one would find it a big deal).
No. 96659
>>96602>>96596Just a protip for next time you use FB, unfollow everyone you don't want to see. They won't show up on your dashboard anymore but you can still go on their profiles if you want to and are friends with them.
I unfollowed 93% of everyone I know on facebook and it's become a useful site for managing events and occasionally sending a message, rather than a FOMO fest.
No. 96680
>>96678Yea, I get that. I'm too chicken to look at people's profiles/timelines in the first place, so that's why I didn't have to delete.
On principle I hate using FB anyway. If someone is my friend, why should I have to check it to find out what's going on in their life? They should be telling me directly.
No. 96681
>>96679Same, I just get the feeling sometimes they're just toting it around to give them more special points or some sort of fucked up sex appeal?
Maybe I'm just bitter that they're never gonna have to suffer that much and they get a little badge of honor in the community
No. 96684
>>96673>>96679>>96681I'm a bi girl myself and I can tell you it's not just a feeling. I've seen absolutely tons of "bi" women who are completely straight and just want the (imo negative) attention it brings. I have my own story about a girl who would drop obvious hints and flirt a lot without ever meaning it.
Women that say they love women and find them hot or etc. but only date guys are straight 99% of the time. Not because promiscuous bi women who will only have serious relationships with men don't exist, but because there's so many straight women who get pressured into threesomes or who just want attention. It really sucked when I was looking for someone and the lesbians wouldn't take me seriously but the vast majority of "bi" women just wanted to put on a show for their bf and had no interest in an actual relationship.
No. 96687
>>96686No worries anon, it is the vent thread. And yeah that's one of my biggest pet peeves ever. It wouldn't even be that annoying if it weren't for all the stupid excuses and broscience they always bring up.
I absolutely hate the idea of having anything but extremely strict monogamy and a ltr, but if I was into threesomes my rule would definitely be no fmf or shows until there was mmf or mfm first. And I would actually have to like the girl too instead of having some douchebag pick out a girl based solely on how much they "make up for what you lack".
No. 96688
>>96687It's like…I don't care what they find hot, but do they seriously expect their gf to do something that they'd never in a million years do themselves? People are idiots and so self-unaware.
And geez, the broscience "WOMEN ARE NATURALLY BISEXUAL!!!!" yea dude, and the Greeks fucked each other in the ass all the time, that should mean that men are all bisexual deep down inside too.
No. 97008
File: 1465605887035.jpg (41.79 KB, 460x452, Ci9B9PlWYAAwGBb.jpg)
I know this thread is mostly negative things but I'm genuinely so happy right now, I can't remember the last time I felt like this…
My life isn't perfect and I'm not either, but I've accepted that and I love it (and myself) for what it is. I finally feel at peace, all light and airy.
I wish you were all here with me, it's a perfect cool summer night and one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. It's like the world is showing me my feelings in physical form.
No. 97731
File: 1466022206201.jpg (1.98 MB, 3401x2277, photo-1465612245778-6f59c99b5f…)
I fucking hate that the hobby I invest the most time into is filled with shut ins and introverts and no one wants to leave their house to get a cup of coffee.
The only way I can interact with most knitters and crocheters my age is online through IRC or discord, and I brought up the topic of World Wide Knit in Public Day and asked if people were doing anything cool and most replies were pretty much "Nope, I'm a hermit, and I don't like the public :DD" like that's something to be proud of
For real are you fucking kidding me
I mean I get along with most ladies I meet at the needle arts socials I go to, but for once I wish I can actually have someone around my age to talk to.
>inb4 get a new hobby stupid