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File: 1612072843212.jpeg (91.48 KB, 1080x1080, 059934DC-C5FA-4167-B98C-7ABD63…)

No. 726714

Previous: >>717944

Don’t mind me, I’ll just cry myself to sleep

note from previous thread:
>As an added note, don't infight ITT. It's one thing to comment on an anon's post, but it's another to try and start infighting with an anon by replying with a snarky response (ex. "what did you expect to happen anon?") "that doesn't happen"

>just let anon vent, if you want to be a nitpicky bitch head over to /pt/ or /snow/. no1currs about your shitty input.

No. 726770

Am I supposed to feel sorry for my poorfag roommate? I'm letting her live here for free, what, because she can't afford to eat out every day or get gifts for people, I'm gonna cry for her? Too fucking bad. She lives here for free and I don't bother her about jackshit usually. I don't feel bad when I order from nice restaurants or have the latest in gadgets, and she is saying "awwe I wish I had that". You could've if you listened to me and applied for jobs BEFORE covid hit but you had to be a useless lazy retard about applying. I literally told her a year before covid to apply to jobs. Now she's struggling and crying about "stocks" lmfao. You get what you deserve.

No. 726784

This friend pushed us away for almost a year (not replying for hours when she told us she was feeling suicidal, not showing up when we were supposed to meet (which almost made us call the police three times), replying with phrases which she only says when she’s at her worst,…) and now that we all have our problems and lives to deal with, she acts as if we didn’t care enough for her.

No. 726797

I really dislike my roommate and his gf right now. I literally left for work for 12 hours and there was like 30% of toliet paper still left and this cunt used all of it in a 12 hour span??? Then had the audacity to not even put a new one on the roll and on top of the toliet which of course fell in the toliet! Fucking bitch, tp isn't cheap. Now I'm gonna hide it so your dumb ass bf can pay for it or you can use the stupid bidet like him. Also stop using my fucking cooking ingredients and taking up all the room in the fridge. I literally can't put shit in it anymore. Also thanks for both of you for not closing the freezer and wasting all my food!! You're both inconsiderate and loud as fuck too. You literally should be paying us rent because you stay here so often and use all of my shit but nooo you're a neet and can't afford anything.
Freaking glad my roommates moving back in with his mom soon, have fun with that. And yes I know I'm irrationally angry but I'm so tired of being out of basic shit that I spent my own dam money on.

No. 726799

>>726770
shit is hard but your roommate needs to stop bitching and be grateful for what she's got.
Roommates seem to just suck in general. I'm very much looking forward to living alone someday.

No. 726816

Feeling pretty done with all the scrotes making poor attempts to "troll" us and people making threads just for their own vendettas. Feels like there has been an influx of those lately.

No. 726834

I just want my titties sucked and to 69 but I'm not putting in that much work cause I'm too busy moaning but alas, I am a Virgin.

I'm sorry for horny vent. It's Late at night and I'm Getting sick of this pandemic and fear of venereal diseases shit

No. 726836

This month has been a complete blur, the last thing I remember vividly is making dinner for my roommate on New Year's Eve.

I downed a bottle of peach schnapps and walked in front of a car this week, and the hallucinations I get at night are so annoying that I can't sleep for hours.

I really don't want to tell a doctor about them because I don't want to find out I'm schizophrenic lmao.

Praying for some kind of reality check for my dumbass so I can get my shit together or just wake up and be a normal person.
Fuck this gay ass life anons.

No. 726837

>>726834
i also want to have my tiddies sucked

for now only in my dreams

No. 726838

I dreamed about you last night, as if my brain has decided this is some sort of anniversary. I had so much anxiety I almost threw up, all because of my memories of you. I can't believe what I felt for you has turned into hatred, even seeing your picture gives me the sensation of my gut just…sinking. I wish I never gave you a chance, I wish I would have kept my distance.
What you did to me isn't as bad as what my abuser ex did to me, but you still somehow managed to mess me up mentally and I now carry around this huge load of anxiety from all the stress you caused me. You have made me scared of getting close to anyone. I am scared of my poor judgement. I can't stop crying since I woke up because I just can't calm down. I hate you.

No. 726843

I KEEP dreaming about having a boyfriend! He listens to me and talks to me and cares about my feelings! He looks at me and acknowledges my existence..! He lets me hold onto his arm when I'm scared without making it weird, and
he letss me be myself in the same way… He takes me on nice dates and treats me with respect. He makes me feel warm… Sometimes it's a person I know, other times it is a character from a television show. But either way, it doesn't matter, because I don't even want a boyfriend in real life! I'm too busy and immature. So stop making me reset my brain every morning, dreams. Please..! Let me grow upp

No. 726844

This stupid clothing store has such shitty website design that I placed the same order twice because the first time around I hit back and it told me the fucking order didn't go through!!! Then tells me I can't even cancel the order minutes after it was placed! Now I'm £100 down, I sent the return away 6 days ago and it still aint fucking reached their depot! GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BITCH YOUR CLOTHES SUCK ANYWAY!

No. 726850

You know that feeling, after you messed up and you can't unsay or undo things? Yeah that's what I'm feeling right now. I know boohoo boohoo poor me etc. etc. I know I'm to blame, that's why I vent into an anonymous void.

I'm a lunatic. I'm an emotional vampire. I damage every relationship (SO or other) and it never returns to what it once was. I can feel it in every reply, every movement. I hurt you and I can't undo it. I hate myself.

No. 726854

Idk why, but I checked the comments on a video compilation of people doing a challenge where you look like you are about to pet your pet, but stop your hand right above their heads to see how they react. And of course there are a huge amount of people calling it animal abuse. Seriously, the animal won't suffer from their own owner just hovering their hand over their head for 10-20 seconds, you can also clearly see that some of them got pets immediately after.
I swear to god, some people call animal abuse even if you do so much as look at them wrong.

No. 726879

File: 1612098142939.jpg (311.34 KB, 760x726, 1611765924222.jpg)

Im sick of convincing myself I dont mind my bfs weight gain but now he doesnt even want to have sex with me because its too much effort for him ahahahhaha

No. 726883

>>726879
How much weight gain are you talking about here? I’ve got a similar issue, my best friend gained like 60 pounds in quarantine (early on) and now all she wants to do is stay home, she quit her job and I’m worrying for her.

No. 726886

>>726883
He went from 180lb to 260lb, so almost 100lb in just over a year and a half. He doesn't listen, doesn't want to do anything that invovles being outside or being active. Im at the last resort here, I'll probably threaten to break it off soon tbh.

No. 726887

>>726886
i would break up with him. if a guy's bmi is over 22 i don't want him

No. 726890

Couldn't sleep one night and suddenly remembered how much I loved the Trigun anime as a teen, so I decided to give the manga a try. After a little bit I decided to watch the anime as well when I didn't feel like reading and compare a few scenes.
And holy character assassination Batman, did they fucking butcher the source material. I hate the anime now. I usually don't really care if movie/show adaptations aren't very good as long as they are enjoyable on their own but I could legit not even finish it. This makes me so upset because it would have been such a great show if they had actually followed it a little more closely it would have been on the same level as Cowboy Bebop.

No. 726895

>>726886

nayrt but thats a huge amount of weight, and you have a right to be concerned if its affecting his daily routine and his ability to spend time with you and have sex. If he hasn't made any changes to improve his diet/exercise then you know it will only get worse from here, he needs a reality check.

No. 726897

File: 1612101650035.jpg (89.87 KB, 1080x1080, eb6.jpg)

It's so hard to be "right-wing" when the vast majority of right wing men openly shit on women, literally dehumanizing and despising us. Most dont even believe in anything ideological or philosophical, they just crawl into these circles like a refuge from their own failures as men.
It's not like left wing men are any better either since they'll all pretend to be your friend until they feel like they can take advantage of you sexually. They are just as misogynistic and pornsick as any other man they just know better than to advertise it usually.

I'm realizing more and more that all men are just trash and I'm fucking sad and hopeless. Why can't they just see woman as humans instead of walking sex dispensers? And of course if sex dispenser isn't dispensing sex they despise it, and have a fucking conniption if they dispense sex to men who aren't them.
Maybe it's just part of their biology as mo*ids but fuck it makes me miserable

No. 726899

>>726897
this reminded me of the lsa thread LMAO

No. 726902

>>726897
why are you right wing? isn't it a political side that is inherently anti women? not a bait, I would like to understand and expand my knowledge

No. 726906

being skinny is an insult now and every thin girl is being accused of bodychecking and being proana. this is so dumb. if you are skinny now you can not be proud of your body or show it anywhere, nooo, that's unhealthy! being obese however, oh we are so proud of you sweetie! fat acceptance! body positivity!

No. 726909

>>726902
Being anti-female is an anathema to actual far right politics. Imo the ideology is reverence for nature and the motherly figure applied to political theory.
Evola said the average female is superior to the average male and that guy hated literal fascism for being too cucked. William pierce said he worshipped femininity. Nietzsche said females were superior to males in that they are ideologically more fanatic and reliable than men. I could go on really, but it's not necessary. Traditionalists criticise modern women but they also criticise modern men, something that internet nazis m*ids choose to ignore. They'd rather pretend to be innocent victims with no agency or responsibility, because their politics were always an escape from responsibility in the first place. The opposite is true in reality and being and actualized right wing man means putting in a lot of effort.

Most """far right""" men on the internet are just edgy libertarians and mgtows who just hate black people. They don't know anything about far right philosophy outside of fake quotes they read on /pol/.

Don't wanna make this a political debate just want to vent about fucking MEN.
>>726899
Dunno who that is but interested.

No. 726926

>>726909
So "actual" right wing ideology is just worshipping women as breeders and pawns of ideology instead of "worshipping" women as sex objects. WOW so cool anon, so much better than the left.
I'd rather create my own ideology than rely on stupid man-made concepts. Most philosophers were retarded anyway.

No. 726935

File: 1612106470977.jpg (961.95 KB, 1200x900, 79461459_p0_master1200.jpg)

I'm sorry for the incoming rant kek but I just learned that a really great internship that I was suppose to do has been canceled due to covid. I'm angry because they first reached out to me but stopped answering my e-mail 1 month ago, the covid laws haven't changed in a long time in my country, and my family think that it's just an excuse to hire someone else. I feel so dumb for thinking they were just busy and not making them sigh the paper as soon as I received a proposition. I have lost a lot of time in my research because of this.
The past month have already been really difficult, I can't keep up with school anymore and I have recently screwed up a really important work. I will have to defend it in front of a jury in a week and I'm so ashamed of it. My ed has never been so strong because of the stress. It just keeps getting worst, and everyday I have insomnia because the stress is keeping me up at night. I just want everything to stop, but I don't want to be a burden for my family, they are really supportive and I don't want them to worry. I'm so ashamed because today I broke down and cried while talking to the phone with my dad. Everybody looks at me with pity because they say that I have a lot of potential and talent but I'm too unstable to do anything with it. I'm so tired and I don't know what to do.

No. 726937

>>726926
Every ideology promotes its own supremacy or creates a vacuum for other supremacist ideologies.

No. 726939

>>726937
And yet some are worse than the others.

No. 726943

>>726939
Eco-fascism and worshipping the natural order as my telos seems the most practical and ethnical to me.

I do not have a problem with humanizing females while having these beliefs. It's always men that abuse and dehumanize women no matter what ideology they have. Some are just more honest about their level of hatred.

No. 726945

>>726943
Lul, i meant ethical.

No. 726947

Before I lost weight, I had a nice pear shape but now I feel weirdly appleish. My hips have shrunk more than my waist, so while I'm still OK with a WtH ratio of 0.76, I kind of wish the loss had been more proportional.

No. 726952

>>726943
But in nature males abuse females lmao, the sexes live in a sexual conflict, not in harmony. There are exploiters and the exploited, read the Selfish Gene or something.
Men are like this by nature and by worshipping nature you're enabling their natural behavior. There's no escape from it.
I only like the green stuff, you know, trees, mountains etc. But the rest of nature is retarded, cannibalistic, incestous and abusive kek.

No. 726967

File: 1612110672218.jpg (86.56 KB, 680x553, 1611964149651.jpg)

>>726952
Nta but I agree with this. The "mother nature knows best" discourse that the ordering of the natural world offers a model of how human activity and relationships should be structured is really misguided. I love the countryside and the forests etc, but a lot of what occurs "in nature" is violent and destructive and the rest like you said

No. 726977

>>726947
lol why are you measuring that shit? im sure you look fine

No. 726991

>>726967
Whoever's hand that is, they need to moisturize their nails.

No. 726999

I really want to start drawing but I feel like out of all hobbies this one has so many gatekeepers and the most unhinged people. Like when I hear about people who start writing or playing an instrument it's normal but holy shit, art is apparently sacred or something.

No. 727005

>>726843
Oh wth same here anon!! But I keep having dreams about random guys who flirt with me. And yeah ..i feel this…i just wanna be left alone too!!

No. 727006

>>726952
>There are exploiters and the exploited, read the Selfish Gene or something.
Anon wants to exploit people, that's the whole point. This reminds me of another post that was like "women have the freedom to exploit people just like men do and that's feminism".

No. 727007

>>726999
Just do it to spite them.

No. 727015

>>727007
I don't want to spite anyone, I want acceptance. I'm giving up.

No. 727018

>>727015
Nothing is more special than what you create anon.

No. 727021

>>726999
If you draw for yourself no gatekeeper is ever gonna find out. What's the problem?

No. 727025

>>727021
You're missing the point. Other hobbies are not treated like this.

No. 727027

>>727025
Who cares how a hobby is treated tho? You want to draw so draw.

No. 727028

>>726943
>worshipping the natural order
So, you're not against rape, or murder for resources?

No. 727032

I really peaked at 4 years old and it was a steady decline since then, speeding up around 9 years old for me to just worsen every year. I can't look at pictures of myself when I was little without saying "what an ugly child". Please don't scold me or say I shouldn't treat my past self like that. She's still me, and I deserve it because it is true. I hate my appearance into oblivion. I just ate and I want to vomit already.

No. 727042

>>727032
I know this feel, anon. I think I actually look leagues better now, but I hate seeing photos of myself at certain childhood ages.

No. 727045

>>727025
So just don't engage with the online art community?

No. 727052

File: 1612116993069.jpg (33.88 KB, 500x365, d0484fdac442c9dc510a9edcdb52f9…)

My aunt asked me today "What would you do in a concentration camp during WWII? You probably wouldn't survive a day there! People didn't have time for depression during the war. Now they're depressed because they have nothing to do!", and then she started telling me about some man she worked with when she was young, he was in a camp during the war. I already posted about her in the previous thread >>724973
This is getting worse and worse, she keeps reminding me how weak I am

No. 727057

>>726999
Renowned and respected artists don't leave online hate, it's always the weird kids that nobody likes. Just do what you love, block the spergs and foster a healthy space for you to create. There are a lot of lovely artists out there, just stick with them!

No. 727059

>>727032
your worth is not based on your appearance

No. 727060

>>727052
>"What would you do in a concentration camp during WWII? You probably wouldn't survive a day there!"

Karen's really out here gatekeeping Auschwitz huh

No. 727063

>>727052
That whole argument is dumb cause, there are no nazi concentration camps anymore so who gives a fuck about whether or not you'd survive there. Plus, I'm sure there were people with depression there, cause y'know, it's a concentration camp

No. 727066

>>727052
people in concentration camps literally got depression and that's when their lives ended because they couldn't struggle to fight for their lives anymore. It was the final stage. Your aunt should at least read Man's search for a meaning (though I would love to see her reaction to something more brutal, like Borowski)

No. 727067

>>727052
Is this bitch retarded? Pretty sure people during war and in concentration camps were extremely depressed.

No. 727068

>>727059
You don't actually believe that, do you? As a woman especially? I believe it, but I cannot deny how being ugly destroys me. It makes me exempt from experiencing life normally. People don't treat you the same. I never minded it, but reading literature about people my age experiencing things I could never dream of really emphasises it. I cannot explain it properly, but this hatred for my appearance is so strong I i.e. scratch open the skin on my face and the rest of my body.

No. 727071

>>727060
Go back to twitter

No. 727072

>>727068
If you're young just lose weight and wash your face. It's not hard to be decent looking…especially for white women since the beauty standards is so low for you.

No. 727073

>>727052
wtf??? but everyone was depressed?? is like when u live with abusive parents yeah it feels bad,yeah u cant escape unless u have money or enough mental strength to go full survive in the amazonas mode so what do you do? keep living lol i want to smack your dumb aunt so hard rn anon i hate boomers who belittle pain just because. idk her point is wack throw her a glass full of water

No. 727074

>>727045
You keep missing the point. Even if I don't engage things are like this and I don't understand why they are like they are like this. I wish that wannabe writers got hate too from ~society~.

No. 727075

>>727072
>especially for white women since the beauty standards is so low for you.
Uh oh. Infight incoming.

No. 727078

>>727072
R u the same anon who keeps baiting all day

No. 727081

>>727075
It's true tho. All you need to be is skinny and young and society already sees you as at least an 8 if you are white

No. 727082

>>727072
I'm losing weight, and look forward to reaching my GW. Trust me, I am doing whatever I can to adjust my appearance, although PS is an absolute last resort. You're deluded and projecting, though. This isn't the thread for it, so stop race-baiting and go elsewhere.

No. 727084

File: 1612118094881.jpg (26.21 KB, 600x543, this bitch.jpg)

>>727072
>note from previous thread exists
>u typing this shit willingly
c'mon now

No. 727085

>>727082
Exactly. The only reason you are unattractive is because you're fat. Stop complaining and get over yourself.(ban evasion)

No. 727086

Lmao at the bait. This has to be a scrote or tranny

No. 727087

>>727052
You know what this is anon? Projection. She's equating her overcoming her own personal struggles to your situation, and apparently that of holocaust survivors, because deep down she feels she wasn't cut any breaks or given any empathy when she was down or seen others down. Whatever happened in her life or in other people's lives, all she knows is that one day for reasons and outside factors that things were "better" and so all you need to do is play mind over matter and pull yourself up by the bootstraps. She gave you some brief sympathy, so why aren't you automatically better? Just get over feeling bad. You're inconvenient and bring her down. Because your depression isn't about you, it's selfishly about how she feels because of your depression. Other than that? If you performed toxic positivity on the outside even if you still felt like shit on the inside, she and your family wouldn't give a fuck about it anymore.

My family, my mother in particular, were the same fucking way. My mother was a perpetual victim with double standards. She was allowed to feel like shit indefinitely and treat me like a punching bag or therapist mood-depending, but if I dared go through a period of crippling depression during circumstances where I needed support or space? Oh, I was just lazy, or selfish, or excuse-making, and trying to get on welfare (lolwat?!). Mom thought therapy was only for "crazy people" and people faking conditions, up until she wanted a therapist to validate her narratives and lies. Projection.

I know you can't escape these people for now, but just hold your breath until you can cut contact with them. Best decision I made in my life, and familial drama dropped to practically 0%. Surround yourself with people who are on your side.

No. 727090

>>727082
Tbh even fat people can look attractive. Its all about the way u dress n act kek
If you are one of those who mindlesy stares at a fit woman then no wonder you are suffering.

No. 727091

File: 1612118807756.jpg (258.36 KB, 540x810, tumblr_p2xjr8epLW1r35vkjo2_540…)

>>727090
I agree with this. You just have to come to terms with the fact it's not the weight sometimes

No. 727098

File: 1612119006099.jpg (76.63 KB, 770x556, Mfw.jpg)

My boyfriend called me zaftig earlier and then said I was matronly, all intending to be positive compliments.

Hurts a little. It's not like I'm an older mom where this would actually be kinda nice to hear after a few kids. I haven't even had any yet and I'm 29. I must look like a fat hag, and the worst part is I just don't really care enough to do anything about it and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

No. 727102

LOL this loser is saying "im not a princess" just for saying he needs to stop harassing me when hes twice my age. I hope he ends up getting jail time for beating up his girlfriend tbh

No. 727104

>>727098
It sounds like he was just trying to say that you have child bearing hips aka you're curvy in a good way. I don't think he was trying to say you look fat and like you've had tons of kids, anon. Try not to beat yourself up about it, men are just stupid when it comes to compliments sometimes.

No. 727112

>>727074
>I wish that wannabe writers got hate too from ~society~.
What? Why do you wish hate on others?

No. 727114

>>727091
From what I have seen, alot of times it not about weight. In the end you create your beauty. If anon-chan learned to accept herself, things would have been better. You just have to learn how to style yourself, not even just clothing, but also makeup helps. But at the end of the day people dont handle bitchy fatties more than bitchy skinny women. If you act outgoing and friendly, people will reach out to you. I have known both ~ le sad and miserablu ~ fatties and the ones who act like total sunshines who don't give a single fuck. Second ones are the most wonderful women I met in my life tbh, they are really supportive and wholesome and a lot of them succeed and even find "chads".

No. 727123

>>727052
> diagnosed with clinical depression at 13, and I've been struggling with it for 10 years
Same except I'm 20 years into it now. My dad said all that same shit about 'having life too easy' (childhood sexual abuse, life on easy mode!) Shit about depression just not existing back when he was young. He kept up that 'just get over it' talk for 20 years and in that time I've moved very far away just so I could struggle in private. I share nothing with him. Hospitals trips, meds, abusive bfs that I couldn't get away from because of money issues…I knew he would mentally drag me down more than his money would've ever helped. No sharing of problems with him ..ever. But now since lockdown he's been whinging to me about his depression because just staying home and not going to the pub every other night is killing him!

Even if someone like that is your last living relative…distance yourself. If you're years into dealing with this you shouldn't still have to fight to have them see the struggle as even existing. You already have a negative voice in your head everyday…so why live with hers on top of that?

No. 727124

>>727114
I agree. I am quite busy with all of those things, self-improvement is really important to me. I was just venting about how I felt after going through pictures and talking to family and the like… I feel like this is derailing and content for other threads, like the health and advice thread on /g/. I just wanted to vent here about how I feel like I have been doing the past few days. Let's not derail too much maybe…

No. 727126

>>727074
Wannabe writers definitly DO get hate too. I’ve never been looked upon so condescendingly when I said I wanted to try writing to my writing friends, and had them talk shit about my other writing friends and flat out said they weren’t good and couldn’t be a writer.
These areas are gate keepy because everyone wants it as their dream job so naturally it’s competitive.
It’s also what makes people feel special and different and so they don’t want people reminding them that they aren’t really and then the only thing that sets them apart is their skill level. That’s why they shit on newbies and beginners so much because they’re just feeling superior since they’ve been doing it longer and want that special feeling back.
In the art community too it’s a major problem with the influx of new artists selling their work for pennies or giving it away for free.

No. 727157

>>727126
NTA, but why do people even bother joining these communities in the first place? Is it really that impossible to become a successful writer without involving yourself with crab in the bucket-tier people who also want to "make it"?
I like writing, but I hate the idea of it being a salt-laden shitshow the way the online art community is. I feel like it'd be better to just write on my own, and read books to figure out how to improve my work. Is that a bad idea?

No. 727158

I know my mom is super pissed when she brings up my weight. She will literally just say "you're fucking fat!!!" when she's proven wrong. It's funny to hear her screech as if she doesn't weigh 350lbs. I rarely have to deal with her anymore unless it has to do with my youngest sister but today she made an offhand comment about how it was a good thing she kept food locked up when I was a kid because who knows how fat I'd be. I didn't respond but holy shit the way my food was restricted and controlled fucked with me big time. Also I'm currently 30lbs overweight, sure it shows because I'm short but this behemoth really has the gall to comment on my body? I guess I should also mention she's a a huge drunk and I can't remember the last time I interacted with her while she was sober.

No. 727164

>>727074
I guess I really don't get the point. What does it matter if you understand what makes them like that or not? You can still draw? Since you started your original post with "I really want to start drawing BUT.." I assumed this is about it holding you back from drawing.

No. 727182

>>727158
Not defending a drunk bitch here but it might be that thing where given the couple extra decades she has on you and few pregnancies..she feels fatness at her age is acceptable and you being I assume pre-babies and young you are heading down that route worryingly early in her eyes? That message delivered in a gross way though?

I was thin growing up and my pretty fat mom (had me late in life, got bigger after each baby) would never stop complimenting me on my skinny 18 year old figure. I think in her eyes I was set for life because some guy would be crazy about me and give me a good life just for being slim? I'm still thin but gay and hopeless with dating. Too many moms do that and either berate you for being fat (while they are also fat) or never shut up about how wonderfully skinny you are (creepy)

No. 727190

>>727182
She's 15 years older than me and has been fat her whole life kek she's just a bitch

No. 727223

We have a dumpster fire a couple miles away and the smoke finally reached us. i have a huge headache due to the chemicals in the air

No. 727244

My mom is dead. Not a recent event but it never stops hurting me that the one parent I loved died early and the parent that puts anxiety into me every times he texts.. seems like he'll just live forever. Then he'll leave everything to my brother after his death, just because.

I gain nothing from keeping up this bare minimum contact with him. I'm dreading lockdown ending because he'll push a visit on me and I'm scared of saying no. I'm too old to have my dad still putting this fear into me.

No. 727263

File: 1612129474849.jpg (335.48 KB, 1023x1309, 20210131_222900.jpg)

My skincare was flawless. My water intake? On point. My face reached its absolute peak during the last couple of months. I was supposed to look impeccable on my fucking birthday.

So what greeted me when I looked in the mirror this morning? Goddamn period acne all over my chin.
Well fuck me in the ass I guess. I'm not going anywhere tomorrow.

No. 727273

My dads side of the family is full of suicides and alcoholism deaths. I had depression kick in at the ripe ole age of 12 and have been medicated ever since. Even given the family history my dad barely believes in mental health outside of alcos and successful suicides??

This has driven me to keep my issues to myself more over the years. Now I've been drinking the last couple of years in private. Getting shitfaced alone. I'm not in alco territory as I don't do it often enough but it's not going in a good direction. It's the one issue I think he would actually take seriously. But secrets, isolation and maybe dying before your parents. That's just how we do things in my family.

No. 727274

>>726952
Honestly this is such an uneducated bullshit. Yes in some species males are abusing females. In other species, females are abusing males. In many species, female gets to select the best mate and no one abuses no one. Not every species has small dainty female raped by big burly male, ffs. There's plenty of "matriarchal" animal species including certain mammals and apes.

No. 727277

>>727263
Why would you not go outside just because of acne? That’s fucking stupid. If you’re gonna be that retarded about it just wear a mask, it’s not abnormal during these times.

No. 727284

>>727274
No, you're just uninformed. Idgaf about animals other than monkeys. Basicallyy all primates have male on female sexual coercion or stalking (chimps) or physical abuse. Even among bonobos, supposedly "matriarchal", they observed a sexual coercion towards females, and to make things funnier, the sons of the most dominant female are allowed to sexually coerce females that are lower in the hierarchy. Looks like "mommy's boys" exist in nature too and influential females will betray weaker females just to satisfy the needs of their close male relatives (sons etc.) So they're similar to human bi-het women kek.

No. 727285

>>727277
I'm not going outside, there's still lockdown where I live. I was going to celebrate with my friends at my bf's house so no, I wasn't going to wear a mask.
Also kindly piss off, I'm allowed to vent after struggling for a almost a year to get rid of acne only for it to come back right before my birthday.

No. 727290

File: 1612131336088.jpg (467.58 KB, 1080x1350, D7xiMGdWkAAf0S4.jpg)

Someone threw away my hydro philodendron that I've been growing for like a year and I'm so fucking sad and pissed about it. Why would you see a plant in a glass bottle and think "I don't live here and this is clearly an indoor plant that belongs to someone, but I will throw it away anyway instead of simply putting it on a counter". Fuck whoever did it. I literally have to buy an entire new plant. The worst part is, I didn't even put it in the spot it was in when it was thrown away. If people would stop touching my fucking plants this would have never happened. It was fine on the window sill where it got plenty of light, bitch. I had only been growing that one for less than a year, but the original plant it came off of was a year old and died. I literally have no remnants of my first philo left. Fuck everybody, truly.

No. 727291

>>727284
>So they're similar to human bi-het women kek.
How do some anons here always manage to squeeze in their hatred for bisexual women in every post

No. 727296

>>727284
>Even among bonobos, supposedly "matriarchal", they observed a sexual coercion towards females, and to make things funnier, the sons of the most dominant female are allowed to sexually coerce females that are lower in the hierarchy. Looks like "mommy's boys" exist in nature too and influential females will betray weaker females just to satisfy the needs of their close male relatives (sons etc.)
How does this even happen?

No. 727299

>>727291
They gotta cope for the time an evil bi woman dumped them for a dick

No. 727304

>>727299
I'm in a relationship, I don't have to "cope". I'm just saying that some women are collaborators

No. 727308

>>727304
Nah, it wasn't just women, you specifically said bi women and also said "bihet". Don't try to backtrack now lmao

No. 727313

>>727304
I wish I had a bonobo to hold me at night

No. 727325

There's a friendship breakup that truly fucked me up for a good 2 years after high school and now that I've accepted I'm attracted to women too I keep wondering if I just wasn't in love with my ex bestfriend or sth. I value friendships over everything else bc I'm extremely lucky in that field so the line is hard to draw in my head. Was I just extremely disappointed my bff in the whole world did that to me and warped my trust of others or was I unknowingly in love with her ?
>overthinking time

No. 727327

My neighbors breed and train police dogs and dogs they have at customs and shit, and I just realised I have smoked lots of weed in my backyard. It's so funny to me but I also hate this cop who keeps visiting them and leaving his ugly ass car too close to my driveway, fuck off ugly. I am also bummed that if I ever need to hide a body, these goddamn pig dogs will rat me out, what an incentive to not hide bodies ever.

No. 727329

>>727305
Yeah, by some women I mean women interested in men.

No. 727335

Can the infighting/nitpicking be held to a minimum? This is the vent thread. You have every other thread to be an annoying cunt, stay there.

No. 727343

File: 1612135730251.jpg (26.7 KB, 403x403, edba663d3a6d6bd7c9a3b6d9887eb9…)

why are/were my friends moms cunts to me. i have no other place to rant about this to because it's so stupid but it makes me sad because i always try to act polite. i may be quiet at times but never rude.

like the time i overdosed, my best friend's mom made fun of me to my face and told her friends and my friend didn't give a shit, my [spoiler]obese[spoiler] friend was ordering a fucking cake for us because i didn't have any sweets and her mom got pissed at my mom for not having any, and my other friend's mom talked shit about me "having no friends" because i dropped out of a class. what the fuck.

when i find out about these things or hear them to my face i just feel like shit. i'm already extremely insecure so this just fucks me up. what the fuck did i do to you middle aged women. i'm growing a backbone and cutting people out of my life but some comments still really affect me.

No. 727351

File: 1612136098924.jpg (27.08 KB, 400x400, -_sjwkFZ_400x400.jpg)

>ywn live in a suburban America and have an affair with a hot dad who's 30 years older than you
I watch too much american movies where they're actually hot eh

No. 727357

I hate trannies SO MUCH even if I don't have a good reason to hate them as much as I do.

No. 727362

>>727343
how are you finding this out??

No. 727374

>>727343
Glad you're able to cut people out of your life anon, this sounds like hell. Bitter middle aged women who shit on teens are the worst, they're always so pretentious. Hope you'll be in a better place (and with better friends) soon.

No. 727379

People are making fun of my partner and blocking him, just because i did something years ago that hurt him very badly and he got back with me because i promised ill do better and be better. Over so many years i have done better and better and changed myself alot, i cannot even regonice my old self anymore.

Hes now telling me hes quitting being with me /leaving me because all of that, and it makes me angry that people are judging him and making him feel terrible, when he hasnt done anything bad at all. And i should be the one they should be judging. Im feeling like absolute fucking garbage right now, because when he said he'd leave me it really fucking scared me to the point it triggered my anxiety to go off. I honestly wish people could see the good in me, and see i've done better, the fact people still think im the same old person makes me think i never changed and that im just fucking useless and good for nothing, im scared that he will really leave me behind, i just feel like im unloveable.

No. 727388

>>727362
one time it was on the phone so the mom didn't know i could hear, especially fucked up because she was like "aha don't let anon be near any pills she'll swallow them all down again!! hahaha" another friend told me our friend's mom talked shit about me. another time my friend even told me straight up because they thought it was kind of funny. like ok asshole, thanks for the information.

>>727374
thank you, anon, i'm trying to make better friends now but it's kind of ironic how three of my closest friends at the moment have dead moms. i love them, yes it's not funny but.. it's veeryyy ironic..

also fucked up spoilers because i'm high but it looks funny kek

No. 727395

>>727388
This is so fucked up wtf who makes jokes like that at that age ? And about their kid's friend ??
Also hope you're not friends with that 3rd one anymore.

No. 727407

File: 1612138391389.jpeg (58.61 KB, 515x515, FD0D3DA5-DF76-478E-95B6-CFC6F9…)

mfw i have to come home to my verbally abusive grandma after work and i hate sharing a space with her so much that i’d rather work 56 hr weeks than be together in our apartment, despite the fact that i pay for the exorbitant new york city rent and all other expenses by myself

No. 727408

>>727379
What even is the thing they're making fun of him for? Interesting that you're avoiding mentioning it.

No. 727416

>>727290
Wow, fuck whoever did that. I'm mad for you too, anon.

No. 727417

File: 1612139638662.jpeg (550.72 KB, 1204x699, 1612116552620.jpeg)

>tfw you look like this

No. 727421

i got out of a relationship where i was being neglected and sexually abused for almost half of my life and the first time i try to go see someone new i get raped

No. 727423

I don't really know how to even begin but I wish the men in my life - especially close male relatives - weren't such a major disappointment for me.

They do all this talking about how smart they are, they tell us (the women in the family) how to think, how to feel, they pretend to be so in control of themselves and their destinies, and yet we are constantly picking up after their mistakes. It's all talk but no action, just hot air spewing out their mouths and then of course, we're the ones who have to carry all the responsibility on our shoulders, at the end of the day.

We're the ones who suffer when they fuck up, we're the ones who have to apologize for the retarded shit that they say or do, we're the ones who have to scrimp and save while they blow all their money on cars and other grown up little boy toys, but if we ask for ONE thing, we're evil bitches, need to shut up, or get threatened with being thrown out of the house, or they leave and sit up with their friends for days until they feel like we aren't going to bother them anymore. Rinse, and repeat.

I used to think it was just my father who was the issue, but so many men I know have this really immature and selfish personality type. And like my dad, they're the ones who cry and whine online about "men's rights", or how women like my mom won't jump through hoops for him, always conveniently leaving out the fact he never, ever gave any effort in sharing in her life or mine, it's always me me me me me. I wish it made me angry, but it just makes me really, really sad when I think about it, because men really do see themselves as Sir Gallahads when in reality, they are bumbling idiots who are one step away from falling off the cliff they can't see right in front of them.

Sorry for the sperg.

No. 727427

>>727421
oh my god anon, I'm so so sorry. Are you in a safe place now? Do you have any way to proove what happened so you could go to the police ???
I'm wishing you the best for the future and I'm sure you will meet some good people in the future, the people that you truly deserve.

No. 727428

>>727427
>>727427
i'm safe and ok. this is something i've been dealing with for a long time and because of it i don't have really anyone i can turn to who i can talk to about things genuinely, i got a therapist but maybe i just need a diary. it's why i turned here. i know it's stupid bc we're on fucking lolcow but you wishing i find people i deserve means more than i could possibly express

No. 727435

>>727428
i'm so sorry this happened to you, anon. i'm NTAYRT but i agree with them, you deserve kindness and kind people. stay safe.

No. 727440

>>727428
I'm glad that you are safe and that you have a therapist. I hope that they will help you really well through all of this.
I sending you all my love ! Also I know it's really hard to have some friendship interactions right now, but maybe you could join a discord related to one of your hobies just so you could have some nice and silly interactions to get your mind off a little bit (for exemple I'm in a cottagecore discord and people are really nice there). Maybe it's a stupid idea but I think it could be good for you to join some sort of group as well as having some proper therapy.
Also if you have any way to denouce those monsters don't hesitate do ask for help to your therapist so you could together file a complaint. The fact that you are really strong and that you have been dealing with it for a long time doesn't make it any less awful and you deserve all the reparation possible !
I'm wishing you the best!

No. 727446

i'm seething

No. 727447

>>727446
Whats the matter queen?

No. 727451

>>727447
want to respond to something but i'll catch a ban again, why can't bait just be deleted. why is it left there to tempt my fish brain

No. 727476

>>727408
Let's be real, she probably cucked him.

No. 727499

Daily reminder this is what most "normal men" turn into during wartime.

No. 727503

File: 1612152101318.png (280.47 KB, 540x395, tumblr_inline_p3btdyR8r91rin4u…)

>>727499
i knew what the video was about but I still wasn't ready

No. 727507

having AITA moment when my online friend sent a message that I don't care about them since I forgot their birthday but I really forgot and have been doing school stuff. I've had my bday get forgotten and usually I get a little sad but not mad and shaming people, especially since I'm a forgetful person and this friendship is pretty good. I am kinda taken aback. I really try to keep up but I have a poor memory and they were offline for months
I'm worried I don't deserve friends because I can't remember things and also how I'm bothered by this. I know it hurts when someone forgets but it feels like they assumed the worst and want me to "step up my game" I'm kind of insulted. It wasn't a big deal when someone else forgot my birthday. I got hurt, but not mad. Our friendship is close and I've tried to be there for them a long time so why does forgetfulness disqualify it? I never experienced this cold side before . Here I'm reacting like this am I a sociopath?

No. 727514

Should I shave my head for the third time in 2 years or deal with my stress in a healthy way

I said I was gonna grow out my hair this year too and now I'm having these thoughts hahahhaah

No. 727518

The more I read about wisdom tooth removal, the more I want to nope the fuck out of my appointment. I only have ONE wisdom tooth, and it's so stupid painful, and it's growing extremely sideways, like horizontal.

No. 727519

>>727499
Holy fuck.
God this wasn’t even that long ago all things considered

No. 727520

>>727440
>>727435 i wanted to vent more in my first post but felt really ashamed sharing more because i knew in just a little bit after posting i was going to talk to him on the phone and let him give his piece and i expected myself to accept his groveling and sympathise. but i didn't. i don't like to prattle about my ~trauma~ but i've been through a lot honestly (i feel like i can say this for the first time since it's anon) and i've always felt like the real guilty party, always tried to forgive if i could, never tried to make them feel worse if i could help it. i ended up yelling at him and making him feel worse and i feel wonderful.

i think the discord idea is honestly great, not stupid at all. it's hard yeah but you're right, i think it is what i need, and it's what i wanted.

long fucking annoying post i usually lurk idk if people care about that shit in the vent thread and i could've made this post better but my brains been kind of fried since yesterday lol. again i cannot express the love and gratitude i feel. thank you. i am so acutely aware of how ironic And pathetic it is i'm feeling emotionally supported for the first time in so long on fucking lolcow

No. 727521

File: 1612153591439.jpeg (63.8 KB, 640x640, 64BE1BE1-F44B-4C61-8784-F89498…)

>>727518
Removing it is the best thing you could do, I had 2 horizontal wisdom teeth and it was fucking annoying, all the money I dumped on getting my teeth aligned so they didn’t look horrible turned into salt and water because the fuckers kept pushing them and making me look like pic related.
The pain only lasts a day or two and you will only spend like a week or two with a bag of ice and eating ice cream so everything gets well as quick as possible.

No. 727533

>>727521
nta but shit my bottom left wisdom tooth is coming in STRONG and hurts like hell. i'm scared that it's slowly moving my teeth because my permanent retainer randomly started breaking on the other side and my teeth feel.. weird. whoever the fuck invented wisdom teeth fuck you.

No. 727534

>>727518
same, two of my wisdom teeth sprouted at the start of 2020 and now they've pretty much fully grown in. i think they're impacted and they made a huge sore on the inside of my cheek and it's hard to eat/speak now, idk what to do so i've just been taking painkillers. i've read too many wisdom tooth removal horror stories

No. 727535

File: 1612155277964.jpg (17.29 KB, 540x304, tumblr_pozp2fwjoq1qkw479o1_540…)

>browse lolcow literally everday (please put me out of my misery)
>friend comes over, we get drunk eat wings and she spends the night
>she leaves
>i open /snow/, only place keeping me together during this corona times
>i didnt get to see the sam schitzo thread live as it happened and make adam driver memes with farmers…

No. 727541

Living with people who had different childhoods, I realized how my parents were so fucking selfish and how they boderline neglected me. If anybody knew at the time what they did, they would have been arrested for sure. I thought the childhood I had was normal, but it was all so warped it makes me sick.

No. 727542

I'm not holding my breath but I may finally be getting help for my mental health issues. My new doctor has been really great and after a self-harm incident that ended up with me going to emergency in December he suggested we'd schedule an appointment to talk about it specifically.
He gave me a depression questionaire to fill out. He said he didn't really love it for several reasons but from what I understood the mental health services use them to grade severity by points or something.
Last time I asked for help I was rejected because they came to the conclusion my symptoms weren't severe enough. I was kind of shocked at the time - it really made it difficult to ask for help again. Maybe now that I have a better doctor to speak my case it'll be different.
Because I am just so down and have been stuck in life for years, unable to get myself out of it on my own. I need help. I deserve help.

No. 727551

Sorry for gc sperg but I'm upset and this is too bloggy for the MtF thread.

My friend organized a video chat with our friend group so her bf could come out to us. I didn't say anything because I'm too non-confrontational, and he's not an agp creeper or anything so whatever. The conversation moved on pretty much immediately. It wasn't until like an hour later that he casually mentioned that he was doing voice training and I felt such visceral disgust, like I think I felt truly offended for the first time in my life. I already considered he was on hormones/cross-dressing but for some reason the idea of a man faking his voice 24/7 because it makes him feel like a lady just put me over the edge. And now I feel ashamed of myself because he's always been so sweet and kind and I know he's just misguided (depression+autism+pandemic navel gazing) so I really do feel horrible for being this upset with him, especially because I managed the initial announcement so well.

And all of this, of course, on the same day I find out fucking shadman transitioned. I'm just so tired of it all and I wish I could talk about it with even just one person.

No. 727553

I don't want to hate men… it makes me really sad that they can be so shitty. I know all the evidence is there but I want to die when I think about it… It's not even about wanting to be a pickme, but that so many human beings can be so awful I don't want to believe it's intrinsic to them. Plus I really love my dad

No. 727557

>>727551
Shadman the porn artist transitioned??
Also I’d be disgusted too even if they were nice. It’s unsettling that someone wants something that’s so biologically intrinsic to you.

No. 727566

File: 1612160003110.png (215.32 KB, 1837x802, 1612047136320.png)

>>727557
In the process apparently.

No. 727567

just thinkin about how I will never allow myself a relationship or even a hookup w a man bc they are only able to see women as a collection of parts and are nearly incapable of actual love in the way women understand (recall the study of divorce rates when the man gets cancer vs the woman) and the mere thought of letting one near me is revolting even though I am attracted to them and could fall in love if they acted like decent people aka women but they don’t so I’ll be touch and romance starved forever cuz god made me a straight woman in an act of unparalleled cruelty or perhaps as punishment for a past life where I stole & ate babies or something (ironic heart emoticon goes here)

No. 727570

>>727499
Men are literally the biggest shit stain on this entire planet, straight facts.

No. 727577

Another day of dreaming about people noticing and liking me, both platonically and romantically. Granted, my dream also included them having to be mentally ill to like me. Oh well lololo, let's hope real life is different

No. 727579

>>727566
>>727557
Holy shit you literally cannot make this up. Now he can live out his fantasy of being a cock-hungry lil loli. Trannies just be giving TERFs free ammo.

No. 727582

>>727579
If it comes out as true I hope it mass peaks some people, jfc how much worse can it get

No. 727586

>sexually abused as a 5year old child, this while my teenage sister was supposed to be taking care of me but she wasn't
>parents had 2 jobs, she was my babysitter
>she would always be in a bad mood, locked in her room with loud music playing ignoring me or just straight up not be at the house at all
>grow up hating her, absolutely hating her, and blaming her for all the abuse and bullying i suffered when it was literally not her fault
>tried to killmyself a few years ago, next day told her straight to her face it was cause of her. she was crying and confused and i was completely gone just shouting that it was all her fault when it wasnt.
>she was also abused when she was a kid
>her boyfriend was murdered when she was very young, so yeah, she indeed was very moody and barely paid attention to me, but it was cause she was depressed and was developing pstd
>i hated her so much. she was very extroverted and i was very introverted. she was very good looking and got a lot of attention and i hated her. i was always the awkward silbing, fatter than her and very quiet. prior to my suicide attempt i become ana chan trying to look skinnier than her. my sister was the first one to notice my and tried multiple times to get help for me and i would tell her to fuck off. I was mental because she had always been the smart one, the pretty one, the friendly one, etc and i felt tossed to the side when it was my own autism
>so autistic… i had never felt loved my family before family therapy. my dad was dead and we hardly knew each other. my mom and i were strangers too. my sister was the only one that, i wasnt close to, but actively tried to get to know me so badly while i pushed her away everytime.
>when i tried to killmyself, again i end up at psych ward for about 3 months. my sister was visiting me, but she had vacations planned with her boyfriend and left city during the first weeks. i didnt care cause i hated her. in family therapy she cried and said she felt so guilty and wasnt having a good time. then, her. boyfriend asked her to marry her. she says yes but keeps it a secret for about a month. saying in family therapy, that she felt so guilty because she loved him and wanted to get married, but that she didnt want to get attention away from what i was going through.
>got diagnosed bipolar disorder and started meds, kept family therapy going. anyways, by the time im 20 im in good terms
>now 23, good relationship with her, one of the people i trust the most now and respect and love
>literally do not understand how i was so mentally unstable i blamed everything on my older sister and not on my abuser
>start looking back on it today, and got sad that i was an absolute asshole to the only person that showed me love or care. again, she did had rough years cause of her boyfriend but after that she was always behind me trying to help me
>i love my sister anons, i really do. i feel so bad for what happened. she is an actual angel for all the love and support she tried to give me and now is giving me. i wish i had seen the error in my ways so much earlier…

No. 727588

>>727566
>literally who
i envy that poor innocent anon

No. 727598

>>727586
All you have is the present, anon. Put in the effort to express your love to her. :) If you know her love language, that's even better. Either way, write her a card, buy her some flowers, invite her over for dinner, bake her some cookies, take her (web)shopping, offer to help her with something. Anything, just don't think too much about it, that you end up doing nothing at all. Maybe you didn't want to hear this, but it was worth a shot. The people we love can be gone so soon. If you feel love for someone, don't hesitate to express it. Good luck with everything, anon

No. 727612

>>727223

this is how i feel browsing this website while knowing about the onision threads.


sorry about your pollution though anon that is seriously unfortunate.

No. 727614

I just got fired from my job. I feel 4/10 about it.
Going to go find a new one.

No. 727617

>>727351

hot dads are real though! I serve coffee to several - affair potential seems pretty low, but i'm probably kidding myself.

No. 727625

>>727566
My god I should've seen this coming when he suddenly got into drawing that weird femboy trap porn. The last stages of terminal coomerism is trooning out. Man, just going to love how people who don't know about him are going to assume that he's a woman and use him as an example of degenerate female pedos! But keep telling terves they're overreacting.

No. 727630

>>727223
samefag, apparently the fire has traces of quicksilver and other toxins. fuck

No. 727635

>>727625
he didn't, it's fake news from a photoshoped twitter account. check the last few pages of the kf thread for details

No. 727640

>>727551
Even before I peaked I still felt extremely uncomfortable around MTFs. The ones I knew were "nice" in the sense that they weren't literal Kathryn Gibes type of horrorcows but something was still noticeably off about them, the way they wore womanhood as a costume and didn't have sympathy or understanding over the challenges every woman faces thorough their lives. It's like meeting a humanoid alien, they might resemble you but they're not human and trying to pretend they are is taxing and requires continuous self-inflicted brainwashing. So I'd say that what you're feeling is very common and understandable.

No. 727644

File: 1612169966785.jpg (80.97 KB, 616x380, Mummy.jpg)

i'm so fucking tired of how the cold and dry winter air is wrecking my skin. everytime i take a shower i break out in red itchy hives that look disgusting. even if i moisturize with both an oil on damp skin and then a heavy duty moisturiser on top i'm still dry and ashy and there'll be random red splotches on my skin like an allergic reaction fuck

No. 727666

I'm so stupid for only now realizing male "friends" aren't real. Totally love getting ditched as soon as they get a gf, I feel like I was used as an emotional temp "gf" ugh. Why aren't men capable of actually truly caring for others

No. 727669

>>727666
I will never befriend a man again unless he is able to be emotionally caring.

No. 727685

>>727666
Learned this the hard way before myself. Now I keep my male friends either gay or associated by proxy by being my female friends' boyfriends/husbands. It really hurts when you thought you were bonding well as friends and it turns out you were just used for emotional labor and as a stand-in girlfriend to be immediately ghosted after they start a relationship.

No. 727687

>>727669
something that has worked for me was to only befriend men who already had other close female friends. (Either from their closest friend groups or friends from childhood.)
If I seem to be the only woman on the dude's social radar, I make it a point not to befriend them. The chances of them dumping me like >>727666 or falsely catching feelings because "oh she listens to me, it's love" drop dramatically

It doesn't necessarily work all the time but (blog) the very few dude friends I made in the past few years with that criteria in mind are some of my best friends now

No. 727710

why are people so scared of anything even slightly negative i am so over it. maybe i grew up with shitty edgy people? fuck people being scared and getting mad at everything. i can not undo my childhood.
>friend's older sibling shows us hardcore porn
>online friends send gore and snuff videos
>animal abuse being shared on normie facebook
>pedophile grooming me, showing me anime porn
>people at school beating each other up, threatening with murder and rape
>alcoholic neighbors' domestic abuse
>sexual coersion by pedo exboyfriend
and i was not living in poverty
>move to city for uni
>posh spoiled brats think they are better than you
>mention something that reveals i am not that poor
>omg anon so interesting let's get coffee
>go out with normies but reveal something not normal
>u-uhm anon… wow
>go quiet for the rest of the time and fade away
this is why i only attract narcs

No. 727712

>>727710
samefag to explain, i don't like fucking blurt out "haha tfw you are raped" but inevitably say a joke or comment that's "too dark" for them and i have a hard time seeing why after the fact

No. 727723

Fuck the snow. I couldn't drive above 10 miles an hour without sliding back and forth. I was shaking and getting scared. Kept thinking about how bad the roads get on the nezt road. Turned around and went home at the end of the road by my house. I feel like an idiot. Other people have driven by, why can't I get to work too.

No. 727727

>>727712
>inevitably say a joke or comment that's "too dark" for them
Can you give examples of such a joke or comment?

No. 727732

>>727666
>>727685
Maybe the girlfriend doesn't want you to stay friends?

No. 727736

>>727732
even then it probably means she noticed her bf thirsting.
a lot of my former male 'friends' stopped hanging out w/ me bc of this, they all thought i was hotter than their gfs and the gfs got jealous, which i dont blame them for, i know im rly attractive

No. 727738

I was buying hardware to attach my new headboard to my bedframe and this nasty elderly scrote employee that I flagged down to help me made a joke about "not rocking the bed so much" and tried to fist bump me. I hate when strangers try to act familiar with me. Shut the fuck up

No. 727742

I get so annoyed when something isn’t being used properly when I have an idea of how it should work.
My university’s platform is amazing in theory, but we’re not using it properly or at it’s fullest potential because my teachers, and I’m starting to believe the other 3 classmates I have, are technologically illiterate.
And while I’m not some cool hackerwoman thing something, I can still see how the platform is being underused.

No. 727743

>>727710
> but reveal something not normal
I’m curious, what could it be?

No. 727744

>>727666
Had this happen to me too. Was particularly upsetting since we bonded over some pretty traumatic stuff and had what I thought was a good, platonic relationship. Then one day he texted me "I have a gf" and I haven't heard from him in like 5 years now. I still feel upset when I think about how I was used. Now, I just don't befriend males. They always just want to use you for something whether it be emotional labor or sex. Its always a waste of time.

No. 727745

>>727666
I have a rule not to befriend men who are taken either, unless I am friends with their girlfriend. I'd hate to create problems. But anyway, yeah, what you say is so true and common… There are so many examples of this, it really hurts. Luckily these experiences have helped me raise my standards and look after myself more, so I don't get as hurt.

No. 727749

>>727723
you know you're meant to put on snow tyres

No. 727751

>>727749
Surprisingly a lot of Americans don't know that

No. 727757

I have to drive almost an hour to work in the morning on a crazy highway and I DO NOT fuck with it when it snows or sleets because I live in the south. They have no infrastructure to manage it without the roads becoming perilous. It doesn't help that the drivers are abject morons either. My car is brand new and I'm not getting into an accident for a fucking job.

Lo and behold it's rainy/sleety today and a bunch of places are on delay or cancelation, but not my office. I contacted my manager through MS teams and told her I won't be coming in and am using my leftover holiday hours to cover, and she replies "This is short notice, something going on?" I bullshitted about a family emergency but idgaf.
She DOESN'T go in the office, she works from the comfort of her own home. All the rest of the lazy fags I work with live like 5-10 minutes up the road from the office. I'm like one of the lowest paid there with the least responsibility, I don't need to be guilted like that.

Should I have just been honest about the weather? Who knows, but I'm sure if I said that she would have pressed me to drive in later and just…no. Does anyone else call out for shit like this? It can't just be me.

No. 727761

>>727751
Plenty of Americans know that. The problem is we aren't paid enough to buy a set of $150/tire that we will only use a few months out of the year.

No. 727762

>>727761
I don't care about your excuses. Driving in the snow without snow tires is reckless and makes you a danger for everyone else on the read.

No. 727763

File: 1612187486758.gif (850.92 KB, 500x200, fcc.gif)

>>727762
Okay Yzma.

No. 727768

Honestly fuck this.
Currently doing an internship at a lawfirm. Spent weekend at my and my bfs place. Woke up at 3am. Took the train from my uni town to my hometown (where I intern) at 5am. Did a great job at presenting my file work of the last week.
Studied and revised stuff, worked on some new files, cleaned my bathroom, took my medication. I did more than I even planed on doing today and my brain still makes me feel like I didn't do enough and should feel shitty.
Wow this is great.
Feeling like a fucking teenager again. Sitting in my childhood bedroom and being sad without a goddamn reason. Maybe I will feel better after writing this down, because what the fuck I have no goddamn reason to feel shitty.
Why can't I be content and fucking proud of little achievements?!
Ok honestly yeah writing this down did help.

Probably gonna roll myself a joint, take a bubble bath and play Animal Crossing. Maybe even a face mask if I wanna chanel my inner Luna Slater just like with a lot less drugs and grime

Thank you for letting me vent

No. 727776

>>727749
Yeah, thanks I do have snow tires on.

No. 727781

>>727763
Imagine living in America and crying about being poor and not being able to afford snow tyres. Not to mention you invest in them once and store them every year for almost the rest of your life.

No. 727782

>>727781
Ukanon that's never had to buy snow tires, just switch to a manual car and use your revs to combat the snow. That's what I do.

No. 727784

I'm an artist on instagram, so tons of random people send me their artwork in messages and I don't have the heart to ignore the message or open it and leave them on read, so I always try to tell them something good about their work in a sentence or two. Now it feels like I'm babysitting a special needs daycare because a lot of this art is embarrassingly bad and they keep coming back.

It seems like a lot of them don't like the act of working on their piece or the fulfilling feeling of being complete unless they get ~compliments~ on it. I imagine if I left constructive criticism in the kindest form, I'd get my ass chewed out for being a cunt. So instead I tell them their macaroni and glue crap is worthy of being hung on my fridge.

I will eventually back away from this behaviour but right now I've dug myself into a hole

No. 727786

The guy I'm seeing is so depressed. He went home for a month and a half over break, came back a week into the semester but still a week earlier than I thought I was going to see him to surprise me, I spent the night at his place for the first time and it was so much fun and I missed him so much but then less than 12 hours later he was texting me suicide baiting and saying he was just going to move home again. He's so fun to be around in person, he only says this type of stuff over text, but I can't stop crying whenever he tells me that he wants to kill himself and it ruins my night but I can't make it about me.

No. 727788

>>727784
Don't feel bad about ignoring them, anon. They are likely just looking for asspats. If they were serious, they can contact you for a mentorship or ask for a paid critique session. You're busy and don't have time to give handouts

No. 727789

File: 1612190877276.gif (492.17 KB, 460x345, YES.gif)

>Waiting for the day people finally stop whining over shitty OPs instead of making one themselves

I've never made one either, but I don't act high and mighty if one isn't good when I'm too lazy to make it myself. There are few times where the complaining is actually deserved imo

No. 727790

>>727786
Take my advice with a grain of salt, but I'd just let someone like that push me away. He's offloading a lot on you and probably also wants you to do the legwork of having some gay drawn out conversation about his feelings that will go no where and every time he feels upset he's going to go on and on about him being better off dead and wah. I'd just back off and let him assess why he's telling you he wants to die and see if he's at all apologetic about being a weirdo. I mean, I take it this is just a new relationship. Like he can chill

No. 727792

>>727781
Nta but it's the fucking vent thread. They are allowed to vent about whatever they want and btw, read the OP.

No. 727793

>>727786
>I can't make it about me
Yes you can. Suicide baiting isn't normal and it's affecting your emotional well-being. His actions have you feeling bad and crying. There's nothing wrong with telling him that you can't handle his thoughts about suicide and that he should seek professional help. If he still brings it up after that, threaten to call medical services because you can't be sure if he's serious or not anymore.
Needless to say, most men who bait about suicide to their girlfriends aren't actually going to do anything. They just want your fussing over them and emotional labor. No offense anon but you're biting the carrot here. Pull back a bit and see if he'll approach you like old times again when he realizes you won't stick around for bullshit.

>>727781
>imagine being poor
>IN AMERICA
Lmao they can't even afford healthcare, chill.

No. 727795

>>727792
Also, it's not the first time I see this exact post, "oh poor people vent about being poor? On the internet?" What's the problem and why is it a taboo topic? It's an anonymous site, it's a place to vent, people here talk about everything that happens in their lives.

No. 727799

Whenever my bf and I spend time online we always have stuff to talk about, we play games or whatever or watch stuff. But when we physically go out somewhere we don't really have much to talk about for some reason. My mind kinda blanks. Please someone give me stuff to talk about when you're out.

No. 727801

>>727784
This>>727788 just tell them you're too busy.

No. 727826

The thing I most hate about my ex is that his brain is so broken by all the drugs and drink that he can only manage 4 topics of conversation and for the next while I'll be one of those topics and I'd just rather he'd die.

No. 727829

>>727666
This made me realize I instinctively avoid befriending single men lol, all my closest male friends aside from the ones I've known since childhood were already married when I met them.

No. 727846

>>727827
I'm so sorry that you suffered that.
>it seems like there's a good chance I'll eventually recover and walk again
I really hope you do.

No. 727850

>>727799
There is so much to talk about when you are out! Talk about everything around you, colors in the sky, new plants growing, cool cars on the road. What's going on in the world, in your town? Look around and talk about it.

No. 727861

I have had a new job for about 2 months now and my boss is nice and my colleagues are mostly nice but there's this one girl who's the source of literally all the office politics around and I don't know how to act around her because I don't want to get on her bad side but I also don't want to engage in and/or passively encourage the shitty gossip and cliquey behaviour that naturally occurs when she's around fuuuuuuuck

No. 727862

File: 1612195884532.png (1.02 MB, 640x1136, 5EFD77BD-5311-4C80-866D-EED3A3…)

Man I fucking hate munchies so much. Used to watch her videos a lot about sewing and crocheting, but she turned into an insufferable munchie. She has a story highlight about making your home more accessible and I swear to fucking god, nearly everything she or her orbiters list are things that I also experience, like a normal person does. She's overstretching her joints when she tries to reach her short charger cable? Sitting for 45 min in one position hurts her joints? Reading printed things with high contrast hurt her eyes when she does it for too long? Either way I'm also disabled as fuck and just don't know it or these people are genuinely exaggerating every little thing that hurts, ouchie my severely disabled body! - Fuck you, living HURTS because we're slowly disintegrating lumps of flesh and cells!

But especially this one is taking the piss out of me. Poor "proprioception"? For fucks sake you are CLUMSY, nothing else but of course they need to name it in a medical way, because else it wouldn't be another ~diagnosis~ they have.

I do believe that people can be sick and disabled and everything, even when you don't see it, but sometimes…

No. 727870

File: 1612196442631.jpeg (77.69 KB, 1024x576, 5741962C-B1D7-46E4-9AD7-5C977C…)

I just saw a video of a Russian ww2 vet tell stories of the mass woman rape the Soviets committed. I watched it in full, and even though I knew this happened, seeing it confirmed by someone who was there, describing it in great detail… I seriously don't know how I, or most women, are supposed to keep living as a woman, let alone a heterosexual one. Yes, lesbians are far from priveliged, but I just don't think I can be with a man anymore, or for a while, at least, when I also know that subconsciously, he would treat me worse than dirt if he didn't have to pay for the consequences. I just can't anymore. They don't know we're people. Why does it have to be like this?
I think I'm done.

No. 727873

all the men i like are fictional, gay or end up identifying as trans

No. 727875

>>727873
samefag, all the women i like are fictional or straight

No. 727883

>>727875

Have you tried loving yourself Anon?

No. 727884

>>727870
I posted this video itt before, looks like we had the same recommendation. I fucking hate men. I'm 100% sure the wast majority of them would rape if there was no consequences. Sure, there are some small exceptions, probably, but you will NEVER know if your scrote (or any scrote from your family) is one of them. I'd rather be celibate than live with men.

No. 727885

>>727883
how would that help? i'd still be a virgin

No. 727887

>>727885
Well have you tried loving yourself enough to hire a prostitute if the virgin thing is whats bothering you?

No. 727890

>>727887
i don't love myself but i care about others enough not to hire a prostitute

No. 727891

>>727890
You clearly don't care about the prostitute who's not making any money

No. 727895

>>727862
Oh Christ is this Annika Victoria? I had to unsubscribe after all her content started being about her numerous mysterious nonspecific disabilities. It's a shame because her channel started out with a cool goal and ethos behind it, and she seemed more down to earth and accessible than other YouTubers.
That being said, I miss the munchie thread so much. Wonder where Robyn is now?

No. 727897

>>727884
Oh i didnt realise you posted this in the same thread, hah.
Whats also sad is even if the male telephonist refused to let the male officers rape her, the only reason they didnt brutally use her is because the male telephonist told them not to. Only then did they respect that. Goes to show you that war doesn't make men brutes, it just removes males inhibitions. There's a russian phrase "I didn't see your other's leash" that describes this well.

No. 727898

>>727846
Thank you very much, anon. It means a lot to me, this has been the only thing I can concentrate on for weeks. Sorry I dirty deleted, I got embarrassed.

No. 727901

>>727891
Stop baiting, waterbrain. This is the vent thread.

No. 727903

Can the kid from my downstairs neighbour just shut up already?!

YOU'VE BEEN BAD AT VIDEO GAMES FOR YEARS!
Stop screaming you waste of human resources.

No. 727906

>>727891
Moralfags gtfo

No. 727910

TND led me to discover lolcow. But I'm an actual sober person, unlike her, kek. And I know everyone's "journey" is "different" but, man, everyone's been through a lot and it really takes a lot of patience for me not to get pissed off at people I know who use the same excuses as her. Over & over & over. And I know ppl used to cut me a lot of slack for being a drunk/addict but I'm starting to hate the coddling that others get, instead of being understanding. It pisses me off that they don't have to act like adults, like trauma and addiction are a free pass to childish behavior forever. I'm just salty that other people won't get their act together … Yeah, I'm a horrible person.

No. 727912

>>727873
I've crushed overwhelmingly on gay men since becoming single.

No. 727913

>>727901
>>727906

It's a bad joke. Chill.
But if you want to vent about it this is the right thread lol

No. 727920

>>727903
You're above them which means you carry the power. My neighbours at my last apartment were so bad, I invested in a concert-grade bass amp and would play distorted noise when I'd leave the house at law-breaking volumes. The by-law in my area was powerless, too.

No. 727928

>>727895
Yes it's her! I also love handcrafts a lot and at first thought she handles it well to include her disabilities in a normal way without showcasing every second that she's so sick and still quirky!!, but I guess she spent too much time on tumblr and instagram browsing the hashtag cripplepunk or something. It's a shame because I think she's sweet and talented otherwise. Oh and I fucking hate her new editor, she's way better at editing and he has no humour.

No. 728017

File: 1612204734646.jpg (289.8 KB, 1280x1705, c1f2112bace8d448b4aa34530cfcfa…)

So I haven't showered, washed my hair, cleaned my apartment or did the dishes ever since I was fired more than a week ago. I know all the things I SHOULD do - I should start applying for jobs or send in my application for unemployment benefits or I should answer all the unanswered messages that my friends left on my phone…as well the things I listed above, clean stuff - but I just can't bring myself. I've literally just been binging on food and lying in bed and thinking about things. I'm not depressed, I know what depression feels like and this is not it. Depression feels like being stuck in a swamp, you don't have any choice, you just sink. I know I have choices, I just don't feel like doing them.
One thing I could do was to phone my narcissistic mother. I suddenly get a message from her ex-husband - whom she is living with - saying 'Your mother had a car accident'. As soon as I see the message I burst into tears - I might hate her but I'd never want her to die - and I call her. She immediately picks it up to tell me about the accident: a young boy cut in front of her with his scooter and destroyed her windshield but noone got hurt seriously. After the phonecall I spent minutes to figure out what felt off, then I realized that she didn't even address the fact that I cut her off for 4 months before I made this phonecall. When she picked up, it was natural for her that I would listen and she acted as if nothing had happened. I always felt like as if she felt as if I was her left arm or something. Like even if I don't talk to her or if I'm not physically near her she feels as if I was a part of her or something

No. 728025

>>728017
If not putting a label on what you're experiencing helps anon then by all means don't call it depression. It's just that "depression" can be a spectrum of symptoms and emotions ranging from mild to severe. Reduced performance and social withdrawal is a sign of burnout. That's what it sounds like you have and that is a form of depression. I hope if you do reach a point where you need to ask for help that you feel you can do so. At least it sounds like you've got friends who give a damn if all else fails.

Sorry about your mom. I'm not surprised she didn't bring up your relationship issues though. Narcs are pretty satisfied when the attention is already on themselves and talking about her car accident certainly ensured it was all about her and not you. Plus it got you to speak to her again. You must be a sweet soul to indulge her still, I wouldn't care if my narc died but that's just me.

No. 728033

I wish I was more approachable.
Most people, even some of my own friends, see me as unapproachable and icy person who prefers being alone and who is annoyed by others. A friend of a friend once told me I seem scary before you get to know me.
I don't know if it's my resting bitch face combined with social anxiety that does it or if it's something else. Do I give off some strange vibes? Am I too retarded for normal social cues?

No. 728054

feel sick and I swear it's allergies and not the rona, if not it might be the flu. giving it a few days to see if it improves

my throat is roached, luckily I don't work for a couple days

No. 728056

>>728033
I have/had the same problem aswell. It's indeed (for me) a combination of resting bitch face + social anxiety + introvertness so simply not willing to constantly chat with people. I found that it helps trying to be a little bit more spontaneous and striking up conversations with people to 'show' you're not an unapproachable ice queen.

No. 728070

I got out of hospital two weeks ago and I'm taking 27 tablets a day at the moment. I was prescribed lanzoprazole to protect my stomach from it all but lately I feel like something is eating its way through me. I feel really sick all the time and there's a burning feeling in my belly. I got a high fever and woke up drenched in sweat this morning. I'm nervous and sad.

No. 728076

File: 1612209277120.jpg (76.14 KB, 664x812, FB_IMG_1612208628676.jpg)

When he says that he'll financially support you if it every gets rough since he ~loves you soooo much~, and when you lose your job because rona is pissed off that he actually has to financially support you. Fuck this, im gonna stay at my sisters.

No. 728093

>>728076
That sucks anon, some men just say insincere bullshit because they like to sound like good guys but would never actually step up when push comes to shove. Glad you have a family member who cares.

No. 728114

anybody else begin to hyperventilate upon seeing one fictional character extend care and acknowledgement towards another fictional character (you can relate to)? cannot even read a simple comic without crying abruptly, let alone watch a show or movie. it's annoying and i feel like a retard. don't worry, i always excuse myself politely and sob quietly and quickly in a private place without bothering others. i always make sure to return with a smile. but normally i am consuming this media on my own anyway, so it's fine. i am not bothering anyone with it fortunately. doesn't make it any less retarded, though. consciously i'm over nonsense like that. i don't need anyone, relationships don't solve your problems, i need other solutions. and still subconsciously i respond like this, it's annoying. it doesn't even matter how well i am doing. i could be sleeping, eating and working well and still something like that could make everything come flooding back. it's a pain in the bum and completely disorienting. what a mess, i'm ashamed of myself. but again luckily i keep it to myself or write it into the void anonymously. i won't bother anyone, trust me trust me

No. 728127

im completely socially inept. i cant talk to people, online or irl. every time i do talk i just embarras myself because i have no idea how to hold a conversation. my wording and the way i structure sentences is always off because i just dont fucking talk. even reading this myself, i can tell something is off. its so obvious that somethings wrong with me that you can even tell when you read this on a screen. i havent had any new friendships since middle school. i wish i was born in the hunter gatherer times so my weak genes couldve killed me before i grew out of infancy.

No. 728133

>>728127
The only thing wrong with you anon is that you're too much in your own head. There's nothing wrong in the way this post reads.

No. 728151

>>728150
?? tell us more anon. what is the age-range? how is the group called?

No. 728154

>>728151
won't share much more bc i wouldn't be surprised if these scrotes were on 4chan and maybe they end up here and who knows, but we're all in our early twenties

No. 728161

>>728150
As a mature student it pissed me off how many people openly cheated on everything and I still work on merit and it gets you no where lmao

No. 728163

File: 1612215064732.gif (392.07 KB, 220x165, tenor (2).gif)

im gonna out myself as a terrible but more than anything pathetic person

>be me, awkward lesbian

>meet gf of my dreams at 16, start dating and get a long very well
>she moves in with me when she's 20. im bipolar and not taking care of myself. basically a paranoid lunatic to her scaring her off. i propose to her and she says yes then next month calls the whole thing off
>she cheats on me with a coworker, dumps me at 21
>lose my mind and beg for forgiveness and for her to take my back so long. she's in love and actually gets engaged to her in about three months
>i date a man just cause fuck it
>he's abusive to me but i cant leave the relationship
>relationship lasts a year and a half, he treats me like shit and makes me suicidal but i wont leave him
>ex gf texts me once she breaks up with her gf. i simp out. we flirt for a few days before i say "would you get back with me?" and she goes "would you dump him?" and neither of us really answers
>we exchange nudes and flirt, i cheat on him with my ex yes
>he realizes cause he hacks my social media accounts often so even though i was using burner accounts he eventually finds the conversations
>he dumps me
>she tells me we can be friends with benefits and thats kinda it
>JUSTFUCKMEUP
>continue flirting with her, its been months, we still flirt with each other and send each other pics but we are not dating
>i want her back so badly
>think about meeting up with her IRL, she actually said she was thinking the same thing too for a while… but ive gained so much weight since we last saw each other and i feel too afraid to do it
>every day i text her simping for my ex gf day dreaming about how happy id be if she loved me still
>too fat and too stupid to be loved, have avoided actually meeting up for two months now
>therapist says this will destroy me emotionally if i dont put an end to it
>i love her so much anons… i just… i love her so much… i wish she would love me back… i wish i hadnt ruined it all those years ago
>i just wish we were still together
>sometimes i have dreams/nightmares about her still
>i just wished she loved me

No. 728169

>>728161
>it gets you no where lmao
If you're shit student just say that.

No. 728170

>>728161
As a person who finished studies 5 years ago I wish I cheated more on all of the useless shit they wasted my time on honestly; you really gotta pick your battles in life.

No. 728186

>>727518
Anon I always read the opposite which was awful for me because I had a really bad recovery but couldn't find anyone who had a recovery as bad as mine was. Just get the drugs and make sure you don't get addicted. But take enough so that you aren't in pain.
I got all 4 removed at once. Unfortunately my dad didn't let me get more pills when they already weren't dulling the pain enough, so I was in constant pain. Had my dad listened to me it wouldn't have been as bad. I went under full anaesthesia and my dad paid extra money for the best surgeon because one of my teeth were near a nerve.
BUT more people have much better experiences where they describe being high on the pills (compared to me who was constantly in pain) and eating icecream and shakes. My friend got his out with laughing gas and was eating normally within two days. He had little to no pain afterwards. It just depends but you have to do it or else your teeth are going to shift when they grow in.

No. 728188

>>728161
Maybe I'm too anxious but I'm glad I never cheated because there's the risk of getting caught. I loved having the respect of my teachers and my school and would have been destroyed if I was to be known as a cheater.

No. 728204

I’m really tired of being alone but I know it would be a really bad idea to involve people in my life because I always behave terribly towards them bc bpd and shittiness. It’s really hard for me to be alone because I don’t really feel like a real person without someone validating me but I never want to hurt anyone again. I might be crying alone in my flat right now but I’ll learn how to deal with this hopefully.

No. 728207

How bad is it to make a typo? If it's just on social media and I correct it, I mean. I hate myself.

No. 728214

>>728207
you'll be ok, anon

No. 728219

File: 1612221338984.png (1.03 MB, 1080x1069, SqN5OBY.png)

i feel like i'm going to fucking explode. i don't have a therapist right now so sorry for the long post. i'm so tired of my mom's "online boyfriend." i just want to talk to my mom without her bringing up him in EVERY single conversation, every single time it's is he good?? omg he's cheating on me?! omg i hope he isn't!! i feel sooo bad for him he's divorced and his wife didn't give him the secks because their son died but why did she do that awww i love him!!!
he's this ~artist~ who's deep and sends her love songs and tells her she's beautiful and "loves her for her soul" but still asks for nudes 24/7 cus he's so deeeeep

the fact is they've only been talking since fucking january third. they aren't even a "registered thing" nor even know each other that well but my mom is obsessed with spiritual connections and she's convinced that they're going to meet and marry and is in love with him. if he stops talking to her for a day she'll freak the fuck out and start crying and i'll have to calm her down. she convinced me that he was cheating on her and she was like I FUCKING HATE HIMMM (which i'm definitely sure he's talking to other women, but they've only been talking for a fucking month so ok) and i was like "please just break up with him you're so stressed out." she was convinced she was going to rat him out the next time they were going to talk and end it.. welp oops they had phone sex instead. thanks for keeping me up all night to rant to me just to hear you guys loudly do it on skype or whatever in the next room mom love you too. i know you were just assaulted and still traumatized but let me tell you about our intense phone sex life the next morning too exx deeee hehe !!

literally EVERY single conversation is her asking me to tell her if he's good or not. it's always about him him him and i'm so fucking tired. i know it sounds so easy to tell her to shut the fuck up about this but she is my mom and i care for her and i WISH i could just let her do what she wants but until i can leave/covid ends i can't. also it's her life, i know i can't tell her what to do but seeing her slowly dunk herself further into this is very depressing.

if i even say something like "please stop talking about this i'm tired" she will get so upset and accuse me of not caring for her. BITCH you have a FUCKING THERAPIST AND I DON'T. USE WHAT YOU GOT AND NOT ON A RANDOM TRAUMATIZED STUDENT PLEASE. big thanks to her hippy pickme friends to encouraging this ~spiritual connection~ shit as if they haven't all been divorced 15 times. also she keeps talking about bringing him to my family's childhood home.. i told her please fucking no i don't want beautiful memories to be replaced by this gross old scrote and she got upset and joked about how she wasn't going to talk to me if i was going to be mean to him. i am living in the fucking twilight zone, anons. ow.

No. 728220

>>728219
Holy shit anon, that sounds rough. Hopefully your mom will wise up soon

No. 728234

Marilyn Manson is innocent and he's being Michael Jackson'd except this time the victim was somehow groomed at 19 years old!

No. 728243

File: 1612223738207.jpg (45.11 KB, 512x512, avatar_16a959731d9f_512.jpg)

My job is making me suicidal. I only decided to go with this job because of the pandemic and I'm barely 8 months in and I wish a car would hit me every time I pull in. I'm overworked, underpaid and burnt out. When I caught covid, my managers shamed me and refused to compensate me. I get frequent panic attacks and the one manager who I thought was cool gets annoyed with me now and ignores me until I make a simple mistake.

I found a potential job that would pay more and it's something I like doing but I hate how guilty I feel for wanting to quit my current job. Why can't I stop feeling like this?

I'm trying to get the courage to tell them I'm putting in my two weeks this Friday. My mental health is more important than this shit job. Wish me luck ladies

No. 728247


No. 728248

how did I LOSE weight. I thought I was eating more and I felt more confident in my body recently and feeling more energized than I used to. I'm gonna die of starvation out of sheer stupidity

No. 728254

>>728243
Girl fuck them. There isn't a single employer on this planet you should feel sorry for.

No. 728255

>>728247
Nta, but it's sarcasm.

No. 728260

File: 1612224715080.jpeg (33.2 KB, 499x552, EnVBz5bXcAI0zEs.jpeg)

I honestly just hate American poorfags who don't realize how good they have it, especially in this pandemic era.

If you are able to afford a roof over your head, feed yourself, pay your essential bills, and still have some money left over each month, kindly STFU.

If you are below this level of security, feel free to bitch away, but too many "poor" people basically just consider themselves downtrodden because they can't afford to pay outright for a new PS5 and I guess that's like a war crime or something.

No. 728264

>>728247
No. If your SO zaps your pussy you leave them instead of holding a grudge for 10 years

No. 728265

>>728248
Is this me?
I feel like I am eating loads and trying my hardest, but somehow my weight is getting lower
I feel so easily tired
I feel you anon, sorry I don't know what will help

No. 728266

>>728260
Anon, it's just a twitter post. Also I hope you realize
>If you are able to afford a roof over your head, feed yourself, pay your essential bills, and still have some money left over
is not a luxury most poor people in America have. This isn't the damn poverty olympics lmao

No. 728271

I haven't been studying well recently… but I was just thinking about womanhood and misogyny throughout history, which reminded me of the fact that women fought for my right to education, and still do for girls everywhere. Even if the current educational system is extremely flawed, the very least I could do is finish this semester and make my forebears proud. It will help me become a strong, disciplined young woman, ready to face the world! I must be grateful for the inner battles I am currently facing in regards to laziness and disorientation, as it prepares me for greater obstacles in the future. yey :)

No. 728277

>>728271
screen shotting this fyi, go you!!

No. 728281

>>728266
she said:
>If you are below this level of security, feel free to bitch away

No. 728284

File: 1612226556787.jpg (1.17 MB, 2000x1052, Maslows-Hierarchy-of-Needs.jpg)

>>728260
Whatever mudhut you're posting from where you consider shelter, food, and the ability to pay bills luxuries that nullify a person's authority to dislike their situation, I truly pity you. The reality is those are the bare minimums for every human being.
The truth is most people want the financial freedom to pursue their creative and individualistic desires, and yes, have fun. Instead of dedicating their lives to being automatons who eat, sleep, and go to work and do nothing else because they can't afford to do anything else.

Raise your standards for yourself and your fellow man. No one deserves to be so exploited that they've gotta feel grateful for a shack and some food so they won't outright die.

No. 728288

I hope this doesn't come off as too gendercrit and get me banned lol but I have absolutely no one to talk to about this and I'm struggling. My brother came out as trans and I'm having such a hard time with it - I mean I can't even call him my "sister", it's too weird. And it makes me feel like garbage, because we had such a good relationship before he came out and started transitioning and now I'm just so uncomfortable and I think he's catching on. I was supportive before it was "official"and I feel like an absolute hypocrite, especially because in general I've always been really accepting of trans people and now everything just feels so off, it's too close to me you know? It's weird, it's weird seeing my brother in dresses and hearing him speak in this tinny voice and seeing him wear fake tits and makeup. I'm and embarrassed. I haven't even been able to call him by his new name, it feels forced and awkward. I don't know, it just all happened very quickly and I haven't been able to process it and I don't know when/if I will. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel because all my friends are super progressive and I don't want people angry at me for being transphobic, up until this point I'd never felt this way. It just feels like my brother is playing awkward, sexualized adult dress-up. Not to mention that since this transition, I feel like his mental health has taken a huge hit - he's always been pretty organized, had his shit together, took care of himself - but the last time I visited his house it was disgusting. I mean like, spills and stains dried up on all the cupboards of the kitchen, dirty rags and a filthy bathroom (I don't mean just general clutter, I mean dirt and stains that have built up over months), even a ripped condom wrapper on the ground like? You know your sister is coming over and you can't be bothered to pick up even a little? It was disgusting, and it was so radically different than how he normally is that I can't help but think they're related. There's more I could talk about but I'm nervous about outing myself, I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I should be trying to come to terms with this or if I'm just going to spend to the rest of my life distancing myself more and more.

No. 728292

>>728281
I know, that anon made it seem like most poor people can do those things though. That's why I said that. Also, "some money left over" may still not be a lot, so I feel like having a little cash left over doesn't mean that person isn't poor

I don't mean to shit on anons vent btw, I just hate this whole "your struggle isn't real unless it's the same as my struggle!" mentality that so many people have. Someone having a lil more money than you doesn't mean they're not poor. Sure, their situation may suck a little less, but they're still going through it, y'know? Like I said, this isn't the poverty olympics.

No. 728295

>>728260
What if they can't afford healthcare?

No. 728300

I over-salted my stir fry and everything besides the pork tastes disgusting. I was looking forward to the fish cakes which are usually my favorite, but they took the brunt of the salt absorption.

No. 728305

File: 1612227634934.jpeg (79.03 KB, 749x568, 73A48C32-73EC-4942-9E32-F2707A…)

I fucking hate dogs.
I hate the stupid golden retriever “doggerino” videos I see on Youtube, the ones made by Tucker Budzyn and the baby talk and just imagining the faux meat pet food steamy hot breath through my unfortunate screen.
Dogs bark, smell, are creepy as shit and honestly reminds me of mindless scrote behavior because they’re highly invasive and sometimes the little breeds are unnecessarily aggressive.

Cats actually clean themselves, can be very smart, eccentric, mostly quiet, curious creatures, and I hate that people think just because cats don’t give a single fuck about their owner power fantasy over some domesticated animal that they have for their loyal dog means they would let their owner get burned in some fire or get robbed lmao, because yes all dogs would save their stupid owner from some homely burglar

tl;dr government ban on all dogs please and all “pupperino I love pizza!!!! I love doggies awwww doggies!!” personality needs to fizzle out(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 728306

>>728300
Maybe you could try putting lemon juice or unseasoned rice in it? I've done the lemon juice trick before in pasta and it worked (obviously it was a little lemony though), idk how it'll taste in stir fry. it shouldn't come through too much with all the other flavors though
>>728305
We literally have a doghate thread. Take this shit there

No. 728308

>>728288
I'm sorry anon, you're in a really stressful position.
>It just feels like my brother is playing awkward, sexualized adult dress-up.
Considering people transition either because of extreme dysophoria or (mostly in the case of TiMs) because of persistent paraphilia and neither of those situations are mentally healthy, you're probably not far off. It's tough because you can't force him to change back or see reason, but if you want to try reaching him the most you can do is be supportive but not accepting, if that makes sense. I don't know how close you are but you could always reach out to him in a way that focuses on his mental health rather than the transition itself, noting the things you mentioned here. "Hey, I've noticed you don't seem to be taking very good care of yourself, your house is consistently dirty where it wasn't before, etc. I'm worried about you and I'm wondering how you're doing. You seem depressed to me. Have you sought any professional support?" Maybe be careful with the therapists because some of them are pushing the trans wagon now, but you could also gently inquire about that. Ask him why he decided to transition, why he feels like a woman/what is a woman to him, and why he feels he needs to change his body and appearance to do these things. Trans people generally have a very shallow concept of what being a "woman" or "man" is based on gender stereotypes, but of course being a woman is so much more than the frankly insulting concept that all we do is wear dresses, use makeup and gossip. If you know his reasons you can explain why you don't agree with his conclusions and perhaps get him thinking about whether it's really necessary or not. Again, none of this is your responsibility so I don't want you to feel like you have to save him or anything. Ultimately creating distance may be the only thing you can do to protect yourself and your own mental well being, but if you want to try to reach out to him the path of gentle questioning is likely the way to go. And it may take him some time to break out of it, if he does. Here are some pages that may help you phrase things better or act as resources you can refer him to if he seems open to it -

>Transitioning likely won't make him feel better

https://www.heritage.org/gender/commentary/new-york-times-reveals-painful-truths-about-sex-change-surgery
>Sex is not the same as gender, believing transitioning "makes you a woman" is misguided
https://thenewbacklash.blogspot.com
>How to support someone caught up in gender ideology (written for conspiracy theorists but same ideas)
https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/16188/ways-to-help-if-your-loved-ones-are-caught-up-in-gender-ideology

No. 728313

I want to post something in here but i peeped the posts about stir fry and such and I felt guilty about what I wanted to post because it’s too dark I think even for this thread

No. 728321

>>728313
I mean, it's the vent thread. Anons post dark stuff here all the time. Just look at >>727710 for example

No. 728323

>>728295
Healthcare is among the bills I mentioned paying. Sorry, should have clarified that.

>>728266
I was not saying this in reference to the Twitter post. I only posted the Twitter post because I thouvht it was cute and funny, not because it's relevant to mt post on any way.

No. 728324

>>728313
Lmao I'm stir fry anon. Don't sweat it, I'm usually posting some pretty dark and bitchy stuff but tonight the salt is coming from my dinner instead of my mouth. Post away <3

No. 728326

I keep wondering if the fact that I never actively tried to kill myself a proof that my pain was never that great? I had suicidal thoughts when I was 12, but then at 13 I had a near death experience (my father almost suffocated me) and I've been showing symptoms of PTSD since then, and I've become extremely afraid of dying, or rather of the feeling of pain and terror that may precede dying, especially if I fuck something up. I'm still haunted by the memory of my body desperatively and instinctively fighting for breath, I still have nightmares about that night and it's been 10 years. If there was a civilized way to kill yourself via assisted suicide at a hospital I would think about it, but otherwise I'm too much of a coward to inflict violence upon myself. I think about all those people who took their own lives and how great their despair must have been, and I just don't feel "legitimate" because I never actively tried to kill myself despite thinking about it often, I feel guilty for still being here every day

No. 728329

Istg my problems have just compounded. I decided to drink alone in my bedroom because pathetic but also it is a specific day of the year that justifies it. Not only did I text a friend I haven't spoken to in ages only for her to send me pictures of her mastectomy (wouldn't say whether shes trooned out or not- I'll have to talk to her in person), my dad scolded me from outside my room, all I could comprehend was that it was about my drinking at this time of night (on an empty stomach- I spewed straight booze all over my sheets). I'm not going to get the course I want, I'm going to be stuck working my faildaughter job forever living at home until I kill myself drinking one day. Life is bad

No. 728340

File: 1612231562361.jpeg (59.94 KB, 1024x596, 5A7FF29D-9C9D-4114-943D-E08F2A…)

>just get into a relationship, first one at 23
>guy is nice, i don’t think we’re compatible long term however we have a lot in common and live near each other so i’m willing to see where this goes
>barely text him back on time, realize that he’s really normal and kind and that i’m too unhinged for a relationship
>also scared to bring up sexual assault stuff when we inevitably start having sex, he’s touchy and physical which i don’t mind but at the same time it sends me into fight or flight
i’m just scared that he’s gonna peace out of i ever mention the sexual assault, which i think is something i have to do because i act so off when he touches me. ngl i threw myself into this because i want to and have to start dating, at the same time i feel bad for dragging someone into my life and mental issues. also i just suck. i suck at relationships, my mom begs me to return her texts but i just can’t be brought to speak to others most days. i’m looking at the texts he sent me today feeling too drained to reply,

No. 728347

I work with a girl who has been blatantly skinwalking me and i can't figure out why it feels so violating.
the skin walking goes beyond inspiration. she sees specific items that I have, I guess searches online for something exactly like it, and then shows up to work in an entire coordination of mine, down to very specific and unique items. I can't explain why this is so disturbing to me but it IS.
there's no non-douchey way to say ~i have a unique style~ so I'm just gonna put it bluntly. growing up my parents were neglectful and I had nothing but ugly falling apart clothes that were too small or too big. I literally had to tape or sew several pairs of pants together etc. I never had the more expensive subcultural clothes that other alt kids, or anyone, and I would hand-sew modifications to what I had to try and make something "cool" instead of ragged and white trash. I have gotten a lot of clothes from the trash or the ground, literally some gimpgirl shit at 11 years old. I lived vicariously through fashion in movies, runway shows, internet fashion (then just blooming in 2006; I'm 28), vintage, and cultivated a unique dress sense from these influences and other deeply personal influences like older women in my family who have passed things down to me, and had unique dress choices themselves whether due to religion (pentecostal) or, um, like many of us with gen x parents, my mom is an old tradgoth.
once I was financially independent at 18 I could afford to have clothes that were pretty and not taped together and over the years I experimented, took risks, developed my own authentic look based on a blend of long term deeply personal influences. why can't she just be influenced by her own things like everyone else? why does she have to embarrass me by changing her entire wardrobe to mine and even wearing my exact outfits to work?
like….extremely specific items. items that she did not have before I wore them around her. items that, presumably, she saw on me and then I guess searched the fuck out of depop and ebay until she found a replica, down to the color, down to the cuts, the fabric material, and then waited for them to arrive in the mail, etc…for some reason the thought is so creepy.
my first impressions of her were of her gushing superficially over my clothes (while cute, almost everything is thrifted or handed down, I don't tend to buy fast fashion and can't afford real vintage). I wore a forest green landscaper raincoat once and she told me she was "literally jealous" of it. the next week she showed up in a coat of the exact material and color. I don't even know how she found the shade so perfectly. it was uncanny. slowly over the weeks her style began shifting from basic southern kweer hipster in jeans and docs and button ups. suddenly she's wearing an uncanny replica of my black velvet maxi skirt, that was given to me by a close co-worker and had belonged to his beloved dead mother, and she's wearing it with the things I wore with mine. I wear a lot of repeating colors; for example, red tights with a red skirt, blue tights with a blue dress, etc. I wore a pastel olive blouse with a darker olive floral skirt and a week later she wore the same outfit down to the shades of olive, how did she even FIND THAT SHIT SO FAST?
I always joked to my bf that her imitations always failed because she couldn't figure out to wear tights with her skirts. unfortunately she has finally figured that out. and not only is she wearing tights now, she is wearing red-tights-with-that-bodycon black maxi skirt with a high side split, yes anons reading this far, you already know…the EXACT items I wear all the time. the EXACT combination of items and it was downright striking. where did she even find a skirt in that cut so fast? the black blouse with red roses was also suspiciously like a blouse I have (black with red roses) but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on that one…

trust me, I know it's a petty thing to even care about and I'm trying really hard not to care. I'm not the only bitch who wears black velvet and floral and colored tights and long skirts. I don't "own" any of these elements on their own. I feel really retarded about all this and that's why I'm venting here instead of talking to anyone irl. people have real problems in the world. fuck, I have real problems in my world. I wish I didn't care, anons. it's just so creepy. am I also a justified in feeling hurt and disturbed and embarrassed? I feel kind of gaslit in a way. like I know that I have no right to claim these things but they feel like a product of careful intention and love, my love for fabrics and patterns and silhouettes, what it took for me to have what I have, taking risks on things before they were in mainstream wear, the fact that I can coordinate things so beautifully for a girl who grew up with raggedy taped pants and trashcan clothes, idk it's just so sad to see that someone can bypass all that and rip me off and then rub it in my face by wearing it in front of me and everyone we work with, maybe I'm just a retard but it feels violating. especially because she isn't even interesting and she isn't even nice to me! she's annoying as fuck, condescending..

are there any anons who know how I feel?

No. 728354

This is dumb as hell, but I joined some silly Facebook groups recently, and holy hell are they bad. More infighting than any of our worst threads, and I daresay it's worse than Twitter.


(I know I'm an idiot for still using FB, and that was my first mistake. I just keep it to keep in touch with my family who are active on it.)

No. 728356

>>726854


I absolutely can't stand this shit. It's very Boy Who Cried Wolf-esque, IMO— no one is going to take things seriously if the internet cries abuse and for cancellation over stupid shit like this.

No. 728363

I cannot stand women who are so aggressively mean to other women who like the same hobbies as them, especially with video games or cosplaying where dudes are around. Why are they like this and why are they so obsessed with being the "queen bee"? Then they wonder why they have no female friends and that they're lonely. I'm so sick of this fucking shit. Why can't girls be nicer to each other?

No. 728366

i am/was being fatshamed by my parents everytime and everyday to the point of probably having bdd or some kind of ed. everytime i go to the kitchen to eat something one of my parents HAS to make a fucking stupid comment regarding how i look or my weight and its honestly so fucking heartbreaking to hear that shit since years.
i probably developed many other mental illnesses after years of fucking abuse. i have gotten to the point of me not knowing if i am really fat and being scared that people lie to me about my body to make me feel better.
for reference i am 160cm and weigh 48kg and when i genuinely look into the mirror i see a fat fucking piece of shit and it honestly makes me so fucking sad. my grandparents are saying that i am skinny and should gain weight but on the other hand my parents fatshame the FUCK out of me making me scared to eat. i even bought a fucking waist trainer to be small and my parents still tell me that i am a fat fucking piece of shit.
i genuinely dont know if i am fat or just skinny in denial because i seriously cant see myself without thinking what a fucking fat pig i am?? everytime i look down on my legs or just at pictures of me i want to fucking cut off my fat and slit my wrists because knowing i am this fucking fat and its un-fucking-bearable

a few hours ago i was talking to my friend and after asking them if they find my (chubby)cheeks fat they answered 'yeah but they look funny' which made me have a mental breakdown and in my head confirmed the theory of me being a fat piece of shit and that people see me like that aswell.

god i fucking hate myself.

No. 728369

>>728363
Jfc I hate this shit I remember being in a group where 85% were dudes and I was only there to have better team mates, but we had one girl faking an anime voice with uwu aesthetic stuff and another who considered herself too elite or something to talk to us other girls even though she sucked at the game. There's no reason to put other women down for 'competition' especially when they aren't interested in those manlets or are lesbian.

No. 728384

File: 1612239270130.jpg (4.18 KB, 250x239, 1518028750186.jpg)

Balding anon here, I was supposed to do hormone blood tests on the 3rd day of my period but my 3rd day was on sunday and I couldn't do it anywhere, I'm losing my fucking mind

No. 728392

>>728366
>48 kg 160 cm
I highly doubt you’re fat. Your BMI is in the normal and low range.
Maybe you have a round face. I I have a low BMI and I have chubby cheeks too but people don’t call me fat. Your parents sound like dicks.

No. 728399

>>728347
>she isn't even nice to me! she's annoying as fuck, condescending..
This is the only part that has me worried. If she was a lot nicer to you, or if she acknowledged the influence you have on her fashion choice, do you feel like you would be ok with her copying you? I'll be honest, being a trendsetter or influencer in such a way you are would be flattering for me, even if indirect, or coming from a rude person in this case, it is an acknowledgement of your good fashion sense.

No. 728401

>>728354
> know I'm an idiot for still using FB
What, why? Is it because of censorship or soemthing? No social media or forum is perfect today, Facebook has it's advantages, it's size being one of them.

No. 728409

>>728347
Anon, you're definitely right in being creeped out and violated- this is obsessive, borderline stalker behavior. They are tracking down very specific pieces of your clothing, and even copying your exact outfits. The fact they're actually rude to you is also very worrying. It's possible they have some type of resentment towards you, especially if they mentioned being jealous of you before. Just from reading this I'm almost certain there's some sort of projection going on from this person. The only way I can see this stopping is if you confront her, but I can see why it might be scary to do so. I wish you the best, anon and hope you stay safe.

No. 728438

I'm so tired of the culty bullshit thats rampant on social media. "Just letting you know, that post you reblogged was from someone who's friends with a friend of a terf!" Girl who gives a fuck lol

No. 728456

>>728347
that's incredibly creepy anon, and don't worry you don't come off as conceited. i know lots of people here like to be salty but that girl seems maliciously envious of you and your life, it sounds like she wants to replace you.

No. 728467

I lived with my sister in law for six months when I was 22. She would physically assault me by grabbing my hair, ripping my clothes off, punching me, slapping me, pinning me down, pushing me, etc. She would scream in my face all the time. She would call me names and tell me how everyone thought I was a failure, they hated me, that no one viewed me as an adult. That I was ugly, fat, a whore, that I was pathetic, etc. She would constantly lock me out of the house and refuse to let me in and sometimes I'd have to sleep outside because she lived In a state where I didn't know anyone and had no other family around. She sometimes would deprive me of sleep but putting music at max volume and screaming at me or beat me if I fell asleep because I was being useless by doing that. Would this be classified as abuse even though I was an adult? I only moved in with her because she made a bunch of promises of how she could help my life because my abusive ex finally was put in jail and I was homeless and she was super sweet before this. My brother was deployed and refused to believe she did any of this. I just am wondering if this is abuse? I've never talked to anyone about this but it's been bugging me a lot lately.

No. 728470

>>728467
Oh anon… she is definitely abusive, both physically and mentally. I'm so sorry you went through this, what a fucking toxic bitch.

That must have been traumatic af, especially after an already abusive relationship. Hope you're in a better place now and cut all contact with her.

No. 728472

>>728470
Yeah, I feel like her torment actually bothered me more than my exes. I cut contact with her and my brother once I finally got out. Though she did end up telling other family members a bunch of lies about me like that I was apparently a prostitute (she saw me on my laptop once when I was in underwear and in a voice call) and how I used her and destroyed her house and a bunch of other slander. I've gotten just been low contact with the rest of my family after the incident which has been fine because I'm on my own two feet now.

No. 728473

It happened again. I lashed out on her for no reason. Regret regret regret. The only feeling my body will ever produce is regret.

How to not be such a failure?

No. 728489

I feel like I'm becoming more selfish as I get older when it comes to my friends. Less and less I can be motivated to start conversations, and more and more I feel myself unable to really connect to them emotionally. Maybe I'm just burnt out, iunno.

No. 728498

I made the mistake of being curious about what some of the people I knew in highschool were up to and unfortunately discovered one of them is now a fakeboi who sells videos of their hairy asshole on manyvids. she was a drop out who didn’t finish her finals bc of “muh mental health” so i can’t be surprised. what’s worse is that it’s linked in her bio on her public insta, so even though she doesn’t show her face in her videos, her face is still connected to the account. guess she decided having any other job with stable income wasn’t good enough for her.

No. 728499

I got a new calender and I was writing birthdays in it from my old one and I felt sad to see my old cat's birthday. She would have turned 12 this year, but my parents insisted on letting her be an outdoor/indoor cat and she got hit by a car. I don't get why people that claim to love animals would let a stupid animal that doesn't know what a car is go outside near the road. I also hate that they still let the other cat out. Why are cats seen as disposable? They aren't. RIP Sage

No. 728500

>>728499
RIP cat

No. 728501

I've been having nightmares about me getting bullied in school back then and it seriously starts to affect my life.

No. 728503

File: 1612265326847.jpg (1.75 MB, 2207x1656, Pair_of_mandarin_ducks.jpg)

I might be stupid but my bf send me pic rel yesterday with "that's just like us!" caption and I'm still upset with this clearly more boring and forgettable female duck being "just like me" lmao

No. 728506

>>728503
she’s beautiful shut up

No. 728507

>>728438
agreed. the internet is too big to expect people to care about that shit. also there’s real problems in the real world that actually matter, not that the post i reblogged was from an “acephobe” or whatever.

No. 728508

>>728503
she looks cuter than him anyways

No. 728509

>>728503
You and your bf are ducks?! So cool!

No. 728510

>>728506
I did say I might be stupid!
>>728509
one would think a duck can't be a farmer but look at me now

No. 728512

I had such a good, productive day yesterday but my concentration today is NOWHERE to be found.

No. 728542

I have a doctors appointment in less than 2 hours and I'm so fucking nervous. I always get so anxious when it comes to doctors appointments, but now I'm even more nervous cause I have a lump above my labia and a heart murmur. Pray for me anons

No. 728550

File: 1612273847610.jpg (64.97 KB, 500x500, 07.jpg)

>>726714
I have a cute, tall normie crush
and we finally started getting close and hanging out everyday during December. He was a really cool guy and I was super happy til he started liking k-pop and kdrama because of his other friend. I've been over k-shit for a long time and have loathed it eversince. I'm worried he'd get addicted and wouldn't want to hang out anymore (because he'd prefer the kpop friend over me lmao). Turns out I was right. He stopped talking to me daily like we used to and whenever I do try talking, It just falls short and he obviously finds me boring now. I don't want to force him to hang out with me because it's not my right to at all. It's been days since we've spoken to one another. I'm trying my best not to be too sad about this kek. But it's hard at times. I miss him.

No. 728551

he doesn’t love me

No. 728555

File: 1612274320775.jpeg (70.02 KB, 650x650, D34C2CDC-C469-49F2-8705-25DE67…)

I’m playing a game called: is it bronchitis, the flu, advanced allergies or COVID-19?

No. 728556

>>727727
>>727743
>waiter being too slow
>maybe he is smoking out back haha!
>i worked in restaurants and people often do drugs
>classmate is almost offended at my comment

>be talking about horror games

>they say artists had to look at real gore as reference for the art
>it must have been terrifying and it's not right they had flashbacks for months!
>ha, wuss

>discussing news, something about a criminal

>just killem

>make a clumsy mistake

>oh fuck kill me

No. 728562

>>728556
They don't seem that bad to me, but then again, I'm an imageboard user as well. I would still filter my humor in real life if I were you, just in case some one takes real offense and complains at your job or school or something.

No. 728566

>>728556
The second one was a bit too edgy, tbh, but you might as well start filtering your words better and such. Specially if they don’t know you enough to understand where is your dark humor coming from, like, for how long have you been talking to them and such? Because if someone I’ve only known for a few months, started blurting out dark humor, I would feel like I’m hanging out with an edgy teenager who is trying to impress an adult.

No. 728574

I hate my job. I hate my job so fucking much and I just started two weeks ago. I cry every day before, during, and after work and I have a permanent knot in my stomach. I knew going in that the company had a bad reputation/high turnover but I'm a retard and accepted the position because I was desperate. The only thing that makes me feel better now is applying to other jobs in other cities and fantasizing about blowing up my life.

No. 728576

File: 1612277643504.jpg (86.29 KB, 828x824, j7r0zkynlkg41.jpg)

Kinda random but:
I hate that the nickname Bean goes hand in hand with cringe.
My BF calls me Bean and I think it's a really cute nickname but I can't even tell people because they will think I belong to the uwu smol bean~ crowd.

I may be small and I may like to be called Bean, but I'm not some uwu Fandom kin whatever.
I'm just a fucking normal Bean.

No. 728578

>>728576
ILY Normal Bean anon

No. 728579

>>728556
I would say to the normie it's way too edgy

And to the image board user it's ultra cringy

No. 728588

Not a bad vent or anything, just me being autistic about food.
I've just had intense cravings for fast food for a fucking week straight even if I know it ain't good for me personally. Haven't eaten it in two years. I'm sort of glad I live far from any fast food restaurant because if delivery was available or if it was nearby, I'd have splurged all my money just to taste fried chicken but god damnit I want to taste the fucking unhealthiness again

No. 728594

My uncle who molested me as a kid is in hospital with chest pains right now. This is the second time in the last few months that my dad has texted me about my poor uncle being rushed to hospital. He better die this time.

I'm sick of hearing my dad worry about him. I'm sick of worrying that my dad is risking covid just to care for him when he gets out of hospital again…I'm sick of living with this secret. I've told two exes about this but I have nobody in my life right now who'll understand my feelings on this. Die please.

No. 728596

>>728594
Wow anon I cant really express it through here but I am so sorry you had to go through that. Do you think you will ever tell your family? I hope he suffers and dies quickly.

No. 728598

File: 1612279178085.jpg (24.29 KB, 400x400, tuCu6BT-.jpg)

Just got a call from the "official" BPD department and they told me I don't actually classify for the diagnosis because I don't have the habit to act out on my anger and that I'm a tad bit too self-aware, despite me getting it years ago at the psych clinic I used to go to.
I'm so incredibly confused now because I was so happy to get the diagnosis so I would know what the fuck is wrong with me and finally get some help (which they took a long while to do because I never learned there is a specific department at the hospital that specializes in BPD treatment and research until last year). I feel so lost now because I feel I don't know who I am, I just want help and get some specific answer to what is wrong with my head. I just want to help to live like a normal person. I want the suicide attempts to stop. I want the self harm to stop. I want to be able to feel stable in my relationships. I want the voices to stop.

No. 728601

>>728596
I think if he dies I'll have a hard time pretending to care about it to my dad. That might be my breaking point.

I'm worried that my dad just won't believe me but I told my first bf about this 12 years ago so he can go ask him. My life has been one big textbook reaction to trauma but I still don't feel I'll be believed.

No. 728606

>>728601
I hate that people are like this so much. WHY WOULD YOU LIE AND WHO COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR CHILD??? I'll be here for you, anon. So will others

No. 728608

>>728601
Tell your father now so that he can confront your uncle.

No. 728609

File: 1612279927818.jpg (98.14 KB, 500x501, 1611757634173.jpg)

>>728598
This is bullshit, are they using it as an excuse to stop treating you? Is the department too stretched? I'm so sorry anon. I'm much like you, I don't fit many typical BPD symptoms, so I got diagnosed with "EUPD traits" instead. Still on a specialist BPD programme on the NHS to manage my trauma and self esteem, self destruction etc.
Don't let them fob you off. Phone and ask for a second opinion, ask for a referral to where they think you're better suited, ask for an assessment, bother them a lot. I know it's hard to fight for yourself when you feel like this but you deserve better, anon. You are going to have to trust me on that one. Chase them up the way you would for a poorly loved one.

No. 728611

File: 1612279966495.png (374.03 KB, 657x720, 1505391888036.png)

I had UPS pack and ship my PC and they packed it upside down and shattered the glass side of the case. I even paid for insurance and everything with them. They never came to inspect the damages and every time I try to call and ask about it they ignore me and say nothing can be done. When I call management they literally hang up on me or say that they'll come inspect the damage but never do. My fucking video card broke and glass keeps getting caught in the fans. When I talked to the guy who packed it he just went "Oooooohhhhhhhh…" and had me talk to someone else about it.

No. 728616

>>728611
Is there a small claims court you can take the case to?

No. 728624

>>728606
I don't why but I'm so convinced I will not be believed. All the signs have been there for years but still, he's olivious. I'm sitting here trying to figure out whether my exes can vouch for me if it comes down to that.

No. 728633

I'm mad that I'm pretty much dating another 4channer. We have a lot in common, but he's a 4channer. I guess I'm no better because I can't leave that hell hole.

No. 728646

>>728616
Huh, I hadnt thought of that. does that cost money? It's been a while since its happened too.

No. 728657

>>728633
Which boards does he use?

No. 728757

I fucking hate that my health insurance's website apparently doesn't have all the documents/full summary of benefits online and I have to wait 10 days to get that shit in the mail. Why is it not also available online? I'm trying to figure out if something I want done is covered or not and now I keep getting different answers when I speak to someone.

I want to get my IUD replaced and when I signed up I asked the broker if it would be covered, since my the government's healthcare website says certain preventative care services have to be covered for free, contraception being one of them. He says no, I'll have to pay for the IUD and the copay for the appointment. I go through whatever plan documents I can find on the website and can't find specifics for contraception coverage, but I see on the drug formulary list for my plan that IUDs are covered for free. I call and speak with someone from the pharmacy department and she runs it through something and says my plan should cover the IUD, but the actual appointment and procedure might not be and transfers me to someone from the medical department. The medical rep keeps fucking mumbling to himself about shit and basically says "no, none of it (procedure and contraception) will be covered for free until you turn 26" even though the government health website and the bare bones summary of benefits I found says nothing about having to be 26 for anything. I don't know what the fuck he was reading off of but requested a copy of it and now I have to wait 10 days for that shit to come in the mail. He also kept saying something about age 26 and age 29 and I asked "is there a difference in what my plan coverage between when I'm age 26 and age 29?" and he mumbles something like "no, no, 26 is for women but 29 is just for…" and I can't hear the rest. What the fuck!

I guess tomorrow I'll call my doctor's office and they'll hopefully be able to give me a solid answer but everyone at my health insurance keeps flip flopping around and I just don't want to end up with a surprise $1k bill at the end of this. I hate this shit. I thought maybe after I got health insurance I'd be able to stress out a little bit less but honestly I don't even know why I bothered since at least being uninsured and paying out of pocket would mean knowing the cost 100% and not having to deal with weird specifics and loopholes and fine print that's hidden out of site until I actually talk to someone.

No. 728770

my next door neighbors parked in my driveway last night because they always have their driveway plowed but they got home after the snow began, so they wanted to leave their car in my driveway overnight while they waited for the plow.

This morning after their driveway was clear they forced their car out of my driveway over the 2 feet of snow at the edge that was dumped by the street plows. So now they've left me with several feet of compacted ice, snow, and salt to hack my way through (it's hard enough when it's just plowed snow, but having a car drive over it and pack it down twice makes it ten times harder.) I thought they'd at least clear their own way out for their car, but no, they just forced their way past the issue, making it even worse for me now.

No good deed goes unpunished. Next time they ask to park in my driveway I'm saying no, unless they'll also be paying the plow to clear my drive as a thank-you.

No. 728778

I got a STEM degree with the hope that it would be easier for me to find a job but it's been a few months shy of a year of completely fruitless searching. I feel so hopeless and drained. It would be easier to find literally any other job. I just feel so sad that I worked so hard for something I'm passionate about and it's completely pointless.

No. 728785

PLEASE take the time to read this. I know it's long but I really really need to hear a second opinion. I was going to put this in advice but it became so long I am posting it here. I am going to use pseudonyms to make the story somewhat understandable.

I am acquainted with the members of an internet friend group. Some time ago, I introduced a person from outside of the friend group, John, to one of the members I was closest to, Peter, because I liked John and figured the two would get along. John was someone I had only met that year. Peter was someone I knew for a few years, felt really close to and had supported through a lot of hardships. John ended up touching me and using my body sexually against my will on numerous occasions. Finally I managed to put an end to my relationship with John. Maybe a month or two after this I discovered John and Peter were still friends and talked amicably often. When I asked Peter to please stop talking with John, he didn't see why I was making such a big deal out of it and defended John. What John did to me was very traumatising. I was still a young teenager, he was older, and he took my first kiss which I was saving, he touched my private parts with his hands or penis, and did so when I said no or showed my discomfort and unwillingness otherwise. He took advantage of my vulnerability and how much I trusted him. Because this happened so recently at the time, I was really confused and sad. I was hurt that my friend of so long who I always supported and who I thought was there for me would still talk to a person who did that to me. I made an effort to explain to Peter why it was "such a big deal" as thoroughly as possible, so I would be taken seriously. I just wanted to get my friend back. I was very hurt and vulnerable at the time, which is why I acted so pathetically. During all of this, I was obviously talking to other members of the friend group as well, such as Matthew. Matthew, Peter and Simon– who is Matthew's partner/spoiled baby –called almost daily. I was not involved in these calls (nothing I was mad about, just saying it for context). I expressed to Matthew how hurt I was about Peter's betrayal. They were somewhat apathetic. I didn't understand. Weren't they shocked too? Weren't they disgusted by the fact that their friend would talk to someone who treated their other friend like that? I expressed my feelings to Simon. Simon understood and agreed with me, but said that that's just how Peter is and left it at that. Nothing more. No consequences, no ostracisation. I lost two friends in a row, was hurt and betrayed, and the other supposed friends could not even tell Peter "hey, it isn't cool to befriend the person who sexually hurt our long-time friend". Am I wrong for having wanted this? Because instead, I was left in the dust. John gained a new friend, and I lost a few. I lost a lot of respect for Peter and Matthew then. More months passed. Simon was silent towards me, Matthew did all of the talking for them, and the rest was just the same. I ended up making the right decision of deleting my account and moving on. I have no interest in these people anymore. Matthew sometimes contacted me on another platform, but I only responded when I was bored.

One of those occasions, Matthew told me Simon missed me and regretted how silent they were towards me before. They were going to put in more effort. Since I was really apathetic towards all of them, I decided to throw them a bone and give it a chance. Essentially off the get-go, Simon was the distant, flakey, immature, memepressed person of before. They still behaved the exact way they said they wouldn't. But because I would want to be treated like this myself, I supported them through it all with as much sincerity as possible. There was barely any dialogue however, but I tolerate it. I don't mean to seem like a savior, it just began to feel like I was being used like a rag eventually. Only helping others whilst being neglected and ignored myself. Despite my best efforts, I began to feel uncomfortable again, knowing that the friend group still existed and that Simon was a part of it. I explained to Simon that I was reluctant to chat with them because of all that had happened and I felt betrayed by all of them for their complacency. Despite my honest attempts to just be a good friend and leave the past in the past, talking to Simon made me feel so exhausted and viscerally horrible. "I'll keep it in mind", they responded, and that was the end of the conversation. More dealing with constant silence and having to fix their issues, whilst they were surrounded by the support of Matthew and Peter simultaneously, ensued. I apologise for complaining. I am trying not to, but it comes out like that. They're just very exhausting and I hate talking to them, but I want to be a good friend and try to ignore it as much as possible. I have put in less effort in my messages already, but still… This inner battle between hating talking to them so so so much and hating what happened versus wanting to be a good, mature friend, is why I come here for advice.

Would it be immature to be completely honest and open and "demand" some change, or should I do what I have started doing, which is slowly distancing myself whilst focusing on other things, as I did with Matthew and Peter, even if it is difficult?

Sorry for the long read, but I need my farmers for this one.

No. 728790

File: 1612292725651.png (76.69 KB, 200x195, 1605565160435.png)

I hate incels for spreading this myth about mentally ill/autistic/otherwise disenfranchised women having it easier than men because apparently more people want to "take care" of them, which is bullshit (at least in my case). They also claim that men want to take care of "poor women that lost at life" and men have it worse because women will never want "weak men", which is also bullshit. If you're a mentally ill/autistic loser neet you may attract a narc or other toxic/abusive guy because you're an easy prey, vulnerable and lost, but a normal man will NEVER want to "take care of you", for the same reason why normies won't want to befriend you. Normal men want someone on their level, not someone who can't even fucking take care of themselves and constantly skips showers and meals and lives like a hermit. Normal (functioning) people want to be surrouned by other normal, functioning people, and that's just a fact. No one normal is "fascinated" by your fucking autism and your wast knowledge about some niche topic no one fucking cares about. Misery likes company. Healthy people don't want the misery people like me bring, and that's natural for them, and that's nothing you can blame anyone for. Yeah, I had daydreams about some kind, strong and patient guy "saving me" and "taking care of me" and helping me to stand on my own feet and making me more normal, but things like this don't fucking happen in real life. Nobody fucking cares about you. You're alone in this world and if you won't take care of yourself, no one will. And if you can't take care of yourself and improve, you have to accept the fact that you will die alone.

No. 728793

File: 1612293204063.jpg (12.59 KB, 320x246, 1603819495471.jpg)

>>728785
I skimmed but anon the answer is obvious here.
Why are you still associating with these men who see you being sexually assaulted as a triviality? You seem to be putting in all your time and emotional labour into scrotes who, like you said, see you as a rag and are only telling you they feel a little bad about it when they see you drifting away so they can drag you back in

You're so invested in the approval of these males who see you as not worth even considering the most basic feelings of that you're probably not going to take any advice you get here until more damage has been done, but you need to just cut these men off. Its not worth the intense time, worry and effort you're putting into it when you could be working on resolving your own trauma, healing and getting on with your life with new friends who actually care about you

TL;DR: stop talking to them forever

No. 728796

>>728785
Nonnie please get some therapy for how that scrote hurt you. I don't mean to be rude, but it's important to your recovery, I think. Also drop all the disgusting pricks from your life who don't care about you. There are other, better friend groups that you'll feel much more at home in. Have some self-respect.

No. 728797

>>728790
Yeah, you're right. I wish I didn't live around normal people, it's annoying that they know who I am/know I exist and that's literally it, nothing more. The concept of acquaintances makes me puke. "Oh I can see you but I don't want you in my life" - then forget I exist.

No. 728800

>>728793
Thank you anon. I did not really want to be specific, but Simon is a girl, which is why I wanted to give her a chance. I sympathise with her and don't want her to get hurt like I was. I needed someone then, so I want to be there for her! But you are right, I should cut ties. This is stupid but I really keep making bad decisions when it comes down to this, so should I say something before or just delete? And thank you for making me not feel crazy about feeling so horrible about what happened. I really felt like I was overreacting.

>>728796
Thank you, and I'm sorry. I am really working on it. I tried therapy (EMDR even), but it is not for me. I am working on it myself though with books written about the topic etc. Thank you for your concern, you are lovely.

No. 728803

>>728800
No need to apologize, you have so much worth and love to give to people who are worthy to receive it. You deserve better than what you've been given, and I hope that you can find peace.
Therapy isn't for everyone, but sometimes it's helpful to have someone to open up to without the expectation of giving that same courtesy back. I believe in you, anon. ♥

No. 728807

>>728785
Anon cut them the fuck off. Do not even give them the decency of slowly distancing yourself. Ghost the fuckers. I'm honestly annoyed reading your vent and seeing you continue to bend over backwards for these people. Being a "good friend" does not mean exhausting yourself for the sake of others, keeping yourself in a friend group that constantly makes you uncomfortable, and just putting up with people who honestly sound like they don't give a rat's ass about you. Do you honestly think they're going to change? Do you think they care about you enough to change their behavior when they clearly have never seemed to care enough before?

>Matthew told me Simon missed me and regretted how silent they were towards me before. They were going to put in more effort.

Then you say they go on to NOT do put in any more effort? They don't miss you, they just know they're wrong to defend an abuser and want to feel as if by being your friend again, it takes the guilt off of them.

You need to get the fuck away from these people. They do not care about you, plain and simple. Find some new friends, there will be plenty of people out there who WILL support you and will not tolerate a sexual abuser being in the friend group. You need to find those people. Friends should not exhaust you or make you uncomfortable. You are not there to play mommy/therapist and fix their issues. Good friendships are a two way street with plenty of communication and genuine concern for one another, not whatever the fuck you've got going on with those losers. If they come crawling back to you again with their "we regret how we treated you" they can take that pitiful excuse for an apology and shove it down their urethra. Ghost them and do not look back, you deserve better than this anon.

No. 728809

>>728790
The last guy that I dated had quite the track record of dating mentally ill women (esp ones with a history of csa) and of course he went from being charming to abusive. Fair enough, learnt my lesson there! but the worst part is my dad still talks about how good I had it while dating that guy ?

I told my dad this man beat me twice (I left out the pushy sex stuff to save him those gross details like his anal obsession) but he cheated and he drank and he regularly raged out and played mind games. So thanks dad, first your relative sexually abused me under your nose as a kid and now as an adult I can actually voice when abuse happens to me.. but I hear crickets when I open up about it. Men aren't looking out for us. Men claiming to want to help you are feeding you a crock of shit usually. Staying single til you show a good deal of improvement seems smarter than dating with a mental illness.

Don't open up to men about your sexual abuse or your low moods, the day will come where they use that info against you, and that'll fuck you up even worse.

No. 728812

I'm close to self harm relapse. I've lost my Etsy FAN ART business because of "copyright infringement" because people can just report whatever and it gets dinged when fanart is within copyright fair use laws. I'm disabled and I'm about to have to opt out of health insurance due to my lack of income. I pay so much monthly for my pills. I want to fucking scream. Fuck this people.

No. 728813

>>728800
I can sympathise with wanting to help her get out, but if she's as knee deep in the bullshit as it seems, she isn't going to see anything wrong with how these men act no matter how much you try. if she ever stops drinking the koolaid its likely to be on her own

Imo just cut off and go. Block, mute etc. Because these people will just use whatever reason you give to try and muster up a fake apologyand promise of change to reel you back in for another chance

For the sake of your own sanity completely cut them out and leave them in the past. Theres no need for courtesy when they haven't shown you an ounce of human decency

Hope things get better for you anon

No. 728815

>>728807
>>728813
I did it, even though I could not resist and did send a message before, wishing her the best of luck because I do hope she gets better soon as well. Thank you for your support, I realise I am not crazy and that there are indeed more people on this world. Thank you anons again, I really appreciate your honesty. Thank you

No. 728816

>>728809
Anon of the vent >>728785 Men really are like this, aren't they? Disgusting, you deserve better.

No. 728819

>>728815
I hope you'll be able to find a new group of friends who love and care for you. I've cut off a lot of friends in my life, and it sucks losing people you spent so much time with and trusted so much, but you'll be better off down the line for it. I look back on those friendships and while there are times that I miss, those moments do not outweigh the pain that they caused me. I'm very lucky to have met a lot of new people to fill the void, but even if I didn't meet my current friends, I think I'd be much better off being alone than being stuck with people who make me miserable just for the sake of having some friends.

No. 728824

I was in an online event to win a prize that I always wanted. The submissions and rules were simple enough, we meet through discord and form a team, then we create and submit it in the submissions tab or on Twitter. Due to sudden health issues, I cant participate regularly and have to take in-between breaks a bunch of time to cope…even though it's just an online event I felt really guilty because I didn't at least finish my work, my team members were kind enough to understand my situations but still…I don't know what to say to them anons, besides apologizing of course…

No. 728846

I'm not sure what else to do with these thoughts but vent. I'm sorry it sounds like a disaster, but I am so upset. also sorry that I've vented about this before but I can never feel better about it it seems..
I really, really hate my body. I feel terrible about the way I look in every mirror and picture. I try taking pictures of myself in different mirrors because I can't grasp what it is I hate so much (and I'm trying to dress better and blend in). It just makes me feel worse and not understand anyway. I am not overweight but I don't look the way anyone should. I'm 5'8 which would be nice if I were thin and lanky but I don't think I am. My hips are about 39" I think and it looks weirdly wide because my waist doesn't look small. I wish at least if I were that way I had smaller hips or waist. My waist measures to about 29" but it doesn't look right at all, it looks like I don't have a thin waist and my thighs are weirdly shaped too where they widen at the top. So I hate wearing pants and even though I wish I could wear pants, I'm considering just going to skirts. I wish my body weren't so wide, because I have a small head in comparison so I look like a pinhead with a weird, oversized baby shaped body because I have small breasts too and 0% cleavage. My chest looks bony on top and my belly seems wide even though it's supposedly not, I guess it's the way the flesh is shaped in front. Going down from my legs to my feet it gets thinner and my feet look like tiny little fish fins. I know I should just stop caring or something but I'm trying to dress better than I do yet everything is bad so I can't figure out what is right. Even if the measurements sound ok to you, I swear it looks so fucking weird, I've never seen a body like this. It's really like a strange oversized baby thing and being tall-ish makes it worse because of pinhead. I can't even figure out my true "Body type" because I don't have the exaggerated looking waist of pears, or look of hourglass, or even the proper evenness for rectangle because of my weird wide hips. So I can't even figure out what to wear to fix this.
I am trying so hard to change my wardrobe, or to find something in it where I can feel okay, but even if I do feel okay I later see something wrong with my body in the outfit and feel terrible I ever wore it. I seriously feel like a freak. When my mom tries to say my body is nice I swear she is lying or deluding herself to feel better about her creation. I will never look like any woman I see and even when I think of losing weight it doesn't matter because it's the essential shape of me that will never change since I'm already a normal weight. Last I checked I think I'm 138 lbs which is ok for my height but it just looks terrible. If I lost I might look like a skeleton because you can already see my chest bones and rib cage even though I look wide. I would still look wrongly proportioned because of my waist and hips and thighs. I just want to wear normal clothes to blend in but everything makes my freakishness stand out. Also I posted before to kibbe subreddit and they typed me dramatic but those are supposed to be thin and elegant, I think they just said that because of my height and angularity but it still doesnt look right

No. 728913

Just finished exercising after not exercising for months. Haven't done my cool-down stretches and I feel like death

No. 728919

>>728846
Anon you are being insanely autistic. No one cares even 2% of how much you care and probably don’t even fucking notice because you see a million different shapes people every day. I have the inverse problem as you, I have a very ugly face due to bad bone structure, to the point I look inbred. In high school I slaved away in front of the mirror trying to slather makeup on myself in various ways to make me look “normal” and guess what? It never worked and I just wound up wasting my valuable time and money. I will never look normal and that’s just my lot in life. I seriously doubt your figure issues are as severe as you make them out to be, but even if they are then you literally have to just accept it. That’s your only choice. You just have to say “fuck it” and stop floating outside your body 24/7 trying to gauge how you look whenever you do anything. I am so much happier since I started living inside my body instead of outside it. Try it sometime.

No. 728922

>>728919
kys inbred freak

No. 728925

>>728922
Fuck off bad personality

No. 728929

I hate the stretch marks behind my knees. I got them when I was maybe 12-13? I wasn't even overweight, just a growth spurt I guess. Like I can deal with the ones on my boobs and my hips but these ones are so deep and ugly and they look like they've barely faded. I'm embarrassed to wear shorts at all.

No. 728932

>>728812
I'm sorry to hear that, anon.

No. 728933

>>728846
Kinda feel this, I'm fat in places that make me look misshapen and I know unless I go on a miserly anachan diet for the rest of my life that it will never go away. I know people don't really like me because of how my body looks.
I also had the misfortune of looking like a stereotypical mean girl bully.

But you know what helped me cope anon? Changing the things I know I can control in the now (ie. wearing clothes that form silhouette like skirts and peplum tops) and forgetting about shit I can't realistically change even with thousands blown into plastic surgery. Doing the best you can and telling yourself you are until you believe it will do wonders for your mental health.

No. 728934

our restroom is always filthy and i always cave and clean it because i just can't deal with it. i'm tired of cleaning up congealed piss and period blood and used tissues and shower scum. why are people so fucking shamelessly disgusting and dirty. i can't wait to move out and never share a living space with another human being ever again

No. 728935

File: 1612307423459.jpg (16.63 KB, 400x400, 27073365_1986898991533618_6482…)

Bf tried to tell me his friend DOESN'T want to fuck him after she continuously uses <3 emojis any time she talks to him and tries to be his fucking "mother" controlling his life and shit despite her being married and having her own boring husband she can tease.

now I'm pissed and I know it's not his fault but even when we first started dating he had a hard time telling her no because he's so oblivious/friendly to everything and it bothered me how she would belittle me for being younger, even "jokingly". 30 year old acting like a 50 year old, not my fault you're dull and a homebody.

anyways, now I'm gonna go masturbate to men jerking off in public because it makes me feel better secretly. Men are such trash they can't even wait to get home before busting and it's hilarious how fucking stupid and low self control, and weak they are. Am I being petty, absolutely. Take that heart emoji and shove it Beth.

inb4 anon ur so insecure. yeah yeah. I'm not even gonna read the replies to this because everyone's gonna be shitty, it happened when I vented about it elsewhere too

No. 728937

File: 1612307604866.png (31.79 KB, 1121x271, 6.png)

I sorta get the point but the "ok in hentai not in yaoi" such double standard lmao and of course that's a troon who post that

also kek:
> i don't want to kinkshame rape fetish in my hentai uwu
> rape is so unhealty if in bl

dunno if I should've posted this in the fujo thread sorry

No. 728938

I'm trying to remain a good friend to a woman in my friend group who I've known for several years now but when she makes really condescending remarks about me that betray how she feels superior to me, it's REAL hard for me to not throw back in her face pointing out that she wouldn't be shit without her rich daddy having given her everything, and how I'm pretty much exceeding her level despite being a few years younger while having an abusive family who have never bailed me out with cash. But maybe I don't get off on making people feel like shit because I'm not a fucking narc.

That's all.

No. 728946

File: 1612309177871.jpg (82.73 KB, 1125x587, tumblr_a845393f3a9628e6d3f572d…)

>>728937
redpill her on kinkshaming and how based it is

No. 728950

Idk it should go here or not, but someone on Instagram tried to accuse me of being a “pick me” girl when I pointed out that this chick on a post was using photoshop. Just what? I thought we were being body posi is manipulating your waist thinner and your ass bigger body posi now? Just lol. Yeah I’m gonna call out dumb hos who use photoshop, you put that shit on the internet and expect someone not to call you out?

No. 728951

i'm probably going to be graduating late. most people i attended highschool with are graduating this year (either fall or spring semester, we're class of 2017) but i may not be done with my degree until um…2022? 2022 spring? idk it makes me sort of depressed

not super depressed (i understand how privileged i am to get the chance to attend uni at all) but yeah. sort of sucks

No. 728954

>>728951
Same anon. My generation should be graduating this year but here I am applying for a new 3y course next year…entering the work field at 25/26 lmao. I worry about it too so I don't have good advice, just letting you know that someone else is in the same boat as you

No. 728967

I had Chipotle for lunch and now I'm regretting having to go to the bathroom every half hour while I'm trying to cook dinner. Not diarrhea, just a massive amount of fiber, spicy butthole, and annoying urgency.

No. 729034

File: 1612316773552.gif (197.65 KB, 203x206, 1558743394615-1.gif)

Reading BL for the first time in many years and all these shitty tropes reminded me of all this fucking bullshit I myself went through and now wish to yell about. I apologise already.
1. Spend 4 years around middle school in this touchy feely, 2nd base tier relationshit with a cute girl who was new to the school. Basically lived at my house at one point, we would spoon kiss. I beat up her bullies, had a good relationship with her super religious parents even. Then she started acting like I was digusting, couldn't open up to any of our friends bc she wasn't out and everyone knew I was heavily into girls. She started talking and seeing some old ass guys, and suddenly I was just chopped liver. She moved to another city the summer after that and I was in bits, felt betrayed and used. Confessed to a friend during a high school math class because I felt like I was going to burst out crying, it was wildly dramatic. She's now married with kids but I heard she had at least one girlfriend type of deal before me, so hehe fuck me?
2. Was very close friends with a supposedly gay dude, he wanted to always hang, joked about us being engaged, how we should have kids because we're both talented in our field of work and his mom and sister love me. I genuinely feel like I just am shit at knowing friendship boundaries so I just that's cute, but he's gay, it's just jokes. At a party, he drunkenly explains to all our friends how he would like to fuck me and how my gf at the time was too ugly for me and boring. She was neither of those things, this dude just hated every female friend or girl I dated, should have noticed it before. He would go on dates, fuck around with guys but the second he heard I was on a date, he would either try to show up or text me about how I should get a girl at my level. Got fed up with his ass after he seemed to enjoy seeing me break up with my gf, even though I was in shambles because I realised it was all around a soft repeat of my teenager romance drama, with me being with someone who wasn't ready to be fully out yet.

I am nothing fucking special, I am fucking tired of realising these sound like retarded shojo plots, I never wanna meet a guy again. I don't have the energy to meet new girls, my friends say I have some kind of a fixer energy around me that these people are drawn into. I am a fucking bitch, leave me the hell alone.

No. 729036

A family was murdered by arson in my state during the summer and they just arrested three suspects. They were all teenagers and I just don't understand how they could do something so senseless. The family seemed like they were starting their lives as they recently immigrated and graduated from university. The police are saying it is not a hate crime but it legit happened during the protests and the family was black.

I just think it's a fucking tragedy and I hope those teenagers rot in prison for the rest of their lives.

No. 729038

File: 1612317834092.gif (405.47 KB, 220x193, D2C68187-AC6B-49E1-B604-272BC0…)

>>729034
Sounds like you’ve been through a lot homie… you deserve love and genuine friends.
>>728935
> he had a hard time telling her no because he's so oblivious/friendly
Anon fucking please. Every man uses the “Oh I didn’t notice she was flirting” line. Your scrote enables her lol. There is no reason why he can’t tell her to fucking chill and don’t say weird shit if they’re such good friends. He may not actually wants to fuck her but he likes the attention and the ego boost from pickmeisha.

No. 729040

>>729038
Thank you sweet anon, didn't think anyone would read my dumb vent! I did and do have some, I just wish I would have been more open with them, because they already did not like the dude. It's been so many years since the first gf, not gf mess yet I am still traumatized, very lame.

No. 729050

My anorexia is getting worse, not really sure what to do about it but I kinda of just hit a rock bottom having a meltdown over eating my guilty pleasure (chicken sandwich). No one I know irl really cares so it's really hard for me to get help cause my stupid lizard brain is enjoy my weight loss.

No. 729054

>>729038
In all my 29 years I have never witness a man entertain a woman if he doesnt like it. Men are quick to cut bitches off they arent attracted to fast if they dont like the attention.

No. 729058

My mom treats me as an extension of herself. I'm almost 30 and she still has no idea what I'm actually like beyond a few mostly shallow characteristics that we happen to have in common (ie: we both really like Coen brothers films), which she fixates on obsessively, almost like she's trying to live vicariously through me. She'll still call me up and blather on about celebrities or musicians she likes and will be like "we just love ____ don't we?" I will legitimately have no idea who any of these people are more than half the time, and she'll just act like I'm messing with her when I tell her that. Or, she'll get weirdly sad or defensive about it, like me not knowing what her favorite Netflix series is some kind of personal affront. It's like she can't handle the fact that I'm a separate person from her, and if I ever criticize her for this or get upset and try to set a boundary, she lashes out at me, screams and calls me horrible names, or acts like I'm punishing her. This has fucked me up so badly I don't even have words to describe it a lot of the time. It's just this horrible, weighted feeling of sadness and hopelessness and like I'm being completely suffocated. It actually makes me feel physically sick at times.

I don't even have the energy to hate her or be angry about this anymore. She's so fucked up and refuses to acknowledge it. I never knew my grandparents, and she never talks about her relationship with them, but I have to assume one of them normalized this kind of behavior for her. She's never lasted more than a month in therapy and just blames her weird behavior on "depression." I wish I had it in me to cut her off already. I haven't wanted a relationship with my mom in years, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt her. I just want her to leave me alone.

No. 729064

Started feeling really sad over a friendship that ended like over 5 years ago. We were best friends for over 5 years. She became gradually used me more and more, lied to me, treated me like shit and became a total backstabber, but I just put up with it because she was my only friend. I now realise that anytime I was friendly with anyone else, or someone was friendly towards me, she would get pissed off with me, and jealous that I was getting attention/not directing my attention towards her. She totally isolated me.
In the end, it was a straw that broke the camels back type of situation, I snapped and it ended really nastily. Even though it was so long ago, I can still think back to earlier points of our friendship fondly and really miss those times. I haven’t really had any close friends since, I find it hard to get close to people because I don’t tolerate when people do shitty things to me anymore.
I can’t really discus this freely with my family or anyone, because people just boil it down to ‘it was a spat between friends’. Like if it was an abusive romantic relationship, I feel people would take the pain that I feel about it more seriously. Even so, it’s been such a long time, that I’m pretty numb to the situation. It’s just every so often I feel sick with pain and hatred over it. I don’t miss her, I wouldn’t want to be back in that friendship - It’s so fucking stupid that I feel this way over someone who treated me awfully. I would pay to erase her from my memory.

No. 729066

File: 1612322781050.jpg (24.59 KB, 900x466, 1612309028922.jpg)

Just did my weekly catchup of the Sh0eonhead thread in /snow/ and wow. I hadn't seen any updates in the past several days and I come back to Pregory having his shit together and June being a fucking womanchild getting exposed by a pol catfish using a gay man's pictures. Is anyone else seriously embarrassed for June?
She makes it look like Preg dodged a bullet, instead of the other way around. What the fuck? This is leave-the-internet tier bad for her, she better start cozying up to other desperate e-girls like Brittany Venti and grift like hell if she wants to maintain her simpbux.

No. 729070

>>729066
June is such a weird fascination for me. Maybe it's just me, but I don't typically view her as being all that cow-ish and actually find her to be boring most of the time, yet there's all these hints that she's absolutely batshit behind the scenes, and only occasionally does that side seem to leak out. Like, the fact that she tries to present herself as being an authentic person by playing up this sort of self-deprecating, cutesy, "lol I'm such a childish wreck" persona, yet she got a boob job at a very young age, puts the same if not more effort into her appearance than actual "trad" women, and shoops all of her pics. The fact that she portrays herself as some sort of advocate for men, yet there is documented proof of her saying that she doesn't care about any of her simps. The fact that she claims her views have changed and she's not as insensitive as she used to be (as evidenced by past videos), yet she hasn't, for example, deleted any of her old IG accounts where she actively fatshamed people. The fact that her youtube income is more than enough to fund her lifestyle, yet she still mooches off mommy and daddy like a complete parasite. And then recently, the fact that she was clearly catfished, yet pretends it didn't happen and that it was her fans who were spreading lies that they were together, and the leaked nudes, which she claims "isn't a big deal at all, uwu! I just wish they'd leaked the better ones!!!"

I'm not as offended by her pickme behavior, even though it's absolutely embarrassing. There's just so many other e-thots who do this that I just don't really care enough to pay it any mind anymore.

To me, the most interesting/cowish thing about June is that she's a compulsive liar, and seems to be hiding a much darker side of herself that only occasionally sees the light of day.

I wish preg would spill more deets on their relationship and why it ended. Maybe someday.

No. 729074

File: 1612326179966.jpg (34.04 KB, 418x512, unnamed.jpg)

I feel so suffocated right now ugh.
>been at work since 6am
>get home around 5:30pm after stopping at grocery
>immediately start preparing dinner from scratch
>bf had day off and didn't do anything besides play a video game
>he's sweet and will do shit when I ask, and sometimes on his own accord, but idk his laziness put me off today
>cleaned up dishes when I asked
>"Btw anon I have to go to bed early because I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow."
>he goes to bed at 8pm, feel like I can't be on my laptop or on tv in my bedroom bc I don't want to disturb his sleep
>go out to play games on my laptop in the kitchen, bored af
>can't watch tv in living room because roommate selfishly camps on the couch watching Sopranos every fucking night and never sleeps in own bed anymore
>roommate gets indignant if I ask to have tv even for an evening

It's like I'm not allowed my own space that I pay rent for and it really fucking sucks. Seems like the only spot I can get is the kitchen because nobody else wants it or has any business in it. I just want them to experience the tables turned so much, but of course, it's different when women get selfish on peoples' asses.

No. 729076

i have so many good ideas for creative shit and i NEVER DO ANY OF THEMMM. or it takes a fucking eternity for something that would take someone else a fraction of the time. i have such an issue with motivation and focusing and organization like even just sorting through piles of old clothes for depop is overwhelming me. how do other people get things done without it taking them months, like i'm amazed at productive people truly. i would be iconic af if i had the drive to do literally anything other than breathing and sleeping. i'm not even depressed rn i'm just like….. slow

i've also been too lazy to cook/ eat very much lately and i don't even get to be a skinny legend, truly fully cursed

No. 729080

I've only had sex with two guys and both of them turned out to be into/obsessed with anal. I don't fucking understand how this happened; my ass is nonexistent and unattractive, my body is literally curveless. My ex-boyfriend would always force me and stick it forcefully and I went through a lot of pain. I think the worst part was having SKID MARKS on all my underwear for weeks on end. He turned me off the idea of anal so much. My current boyfriend has asked me multiple times if I would do it and I don't want to fucking do it unless I feel comfortable and secure in the relationship and in love. And even then I think I would still be apprehensive. Just why me???

No. 729082

>>729080
Bad luck
Ive never thought anal would be a fun time and luckily my bf is skeeved out by anal, he does like being rimmed himself tho myb u could offer up that and put the focus on him
I heard some guys fixate on anal bc it’s ultimate domination

No. 729086

>>729080
anal is a power thing for men. I understand why gay guys do it bc men have a prostate back there and it can feel good, but women don't have anything like that so there's absolutely no reason for us to do it unless we're being stupid pickmes for pornsick men.

No. 729089

>>729086
not true, apparently something close to 50% of women like it better than vagina

No. 729095

>>728919
I'm glad you're happier and I'm sorry you dealt with those issues… Tbh you're absolutely right, I was just upset and not thinking clearly. It matters a lot less than I put into it, I never notice so much about others and tend to think they look good and I'm the weird one. Anyway sorry you had to read my bullshit. The part about living inside not floating outside is really well-said. You have a lot to be proud of in how wise you are about this imo.
Also being called autistic is weirdly therapeutic, I have a strange relationship with this site kek
>>728933
Thank you also for the reply. I'm sorry you deal with these feelings too. But I'm really glad to hear how you helped yourself through, I will try those things as well. It is an uphill battle sometimes but overall it's pretty stupid to fixate on I know.

Ty anons I will try to be more realistic and focus on better things… and stop venting here so much. I'm happy you are doing better yourselves

No. 729096

>>729089
nta, don't know if I believe that percent at all but I do have a close friend who told me she likes it and it feels good but she respects that I told her I would never. I believe that it can feel good for some women, though I don't know why. Tbh for me and I imagine others, it's too gross knowing poop comes from there and also knowing others shat themselves during it…

No. 729101

sorry for kinda heavy subject matter but I think I need to let this out somewhere and it's a vent thread on lolcow so who cares. I think this is the right place for it??? it's not a confession or dumbass shit so. anyway the weird boyfriends forcing anal thing reminded me of some fucked up shit that came to light last year (and no offense to that particular anon but your ex sounds sketchy as hell for that). I unfortunately knew one of several girls involved in one of the bigger cases that happened when the burger records/ oc/ la music scene takedown was happening and tons of abusers were outed. it was like a repeat act of trying to anally rape girls in this particular dude's case, like every victim's accusation mentioned the same thing spanning a decade. we had so many mutual friends and it makes my skin crawl knowing i used to think he was a cool dude when he was literally a sociopathic rapist. doesn't help that i mishandled the way i talked to the girl i know involved with it, like tried to be helpful but came off totally wrong and overbearing and never got the chance to apologize. thinking of that time last year makes me feel this weird heavy guilt on top of already feeling an irrational guilt over not knowing about any of this while it happened.

all that happening last summer gave me and so many people so much trauma that i think i'm still not over it, it feels surreal the sheer amount of close connections i had to so many cases. i'm glad the rapist i knew deleted himself off the internet and got dropped by his label and i truly hope the absolute worst for him. i trust maybe 10% of men now if i'm being generous

No. 729113

After weeks of insomnia, I finally have my sleeping meds.
I want to make myself sleep for 1-2 days straight to finally stop aching and feeling sluggish af. Can't, tho because my bf is going to freak the fuck out.
I'm honestly thinking about dosing myself enough so I won't be even able to wake up when he goes apeshit.
I just want to sleep and feel like I'm myself instead of this useless zombie.

No. 729120

this obese person at my work is constantly panting and acting "anxious" or literally making pained grunts all fucking day trying to get sympathy from people, even crying when she feels like just leaving work for the day (which she blames on anxiety so she's just given a free pass) and it honestly grosses me out a lot. idk how you can act so pathetic and like your entire life is a struggle 24/7. from what i've heard she's also a hoarder at home and doesn't even get out of her chair she sits in to go to bed because it's "too much effort"

No. 729121

>>729089
I will eat my left ass cheek before I believe that statistic. Women don't have sexual sensation in their asses. That's like saying 50% of women prefer a satisfying shit over sex. Well now that I think about it that much might be true considering how attentive the average guy is in bed kek

No. 729125

Being so isolated and trapped inside all the time is starting to make me feel like the world is so strange. Most men dont even know how to wash their ass properly yet women have to be clean shaven 24/7.

No. 729141

>>729125
Kek tons of women are having these moments and it’s literally because being trapped inside removes you from a good portion of the stream of constant patriarchal propaganda that we’re usually exposed to. Without it, women wake up.

No. 729144

Scrotes don’t care they just don’t care at all, why am I losing my mind over a fucking league player who can’t even get his dick hard enough to fuck me who’s constantly suicidal/baiting to drop out of college. Posting my own L’s but I made him dinner last night, we fell asleep accidentally and I didn’t want to drive home at 3am while the roads were icy and his roomate’s girlfriend had already gotten in an incident driving home but he didn’t fucking care, didn’t let me stay. Hes going home this weekend and he’s probably just gonna disappear again like he did over winter break when he gave me 2 days warning that he was leaving for a month and a half. I know it’s not me and he’s just a deeply unhappy person but I just want a little bit of appreciation. I hate hate hate this. I’m so smart, pretty, have a lot of options regarding guys, and I’m hung up on this absolute loser but when we’re together he’s just so funny, and my monkey brain just cares that he’s hot.

No. 729147

>>729141
This is why I wish separatism or at least a much larger push for women-only spaces was a thing. We literally have no clue what our world and outlooks would be like without the constant scrote brainwashing and threats of violence. The best we can do is try not to engage with that shit as much as possible but it's tiring having to do that as well.

No. 729149

>>729144
I'm sorry anon. At least you're aware that you deserve much better and that it's a fucked up relationship you're entertaining. Can you get therapy? Do you have other, more positive relationships in your life? Have you read any books to help break down what might be making you try to extract love and affection from an asshole? All those things could help push you past this to better times.

No. 729165

>>729080
Exactly this anon, men know that anal is painful and they know we get absolutely nothing from it. It's the most selfish, disgusting thing in the world for a guy to continually push their girlfriend to try it.
My last boyfriend was into it too, I'd say no every time and say I couldn't do it, and still during sex he'd stick his finger in, or "slip" in on accident. He'd act like it wasn't fair that he tried my kinks, but I wouldn't try his. Like, I want you to spit on me, you want to pressure me into being torn apart. I shouldn't feel lucky that my current bf hasn't shown the slightest interest in it, but I do.

No. 729168

>>729149
Thanks for your kind, constructive words. I got therapy last year during a difficult breakup with a guy who was more outright emotionally abusive (like, was malicious with it) and it didn’t really help cause the counselor inserted her own opinion into it too much, but maybe I just need to get better at talking to one. I do have a lot of friends that I’m really grateful for and am in general a pretty independent and strong willed woman with a lot going on in my life but I growing up I was always told I intimidated men so since I entered college it’s like I’ve just been constantly trying to dial it down and fell into the trap of doing the most for guys so that they see me as weaker. I’m definitely gonna talk to him about it tomorrow because I’m an assertive ass bitch but I’m about to not see him for at least a week due to my schedule which will be good cause I think I’m just still on this huge high of him coming back after winter break.

No. 729169

>>729144
> I didn’t want to drive home at 3am while the roads were icy and his roomate’s girlfriend had already gotten in an incident driving home but he didn’t fucking care, didn’t let me stay
Wtf, he kicked you out of his home in such a situation? That's a bad thing to do to a friend, let alone a girlfriend.

No. 729176

File: 1612345183145.gif (750.69 KB, 244x244, F4F61DBF-F8A0-4E72-85E3-692AE4…)

i just woke up with a gnarly nightmare that was so fucking traumatic my body is in whole shock right now and now I’m unable to go back to sleep, it was probably the worst most vivid nightmare I’ve ever had
it was of course about this male murderous figure who was on a rampage killing women and other people in my dream. we called the cops on him secretly and the cops of course tried to do something but since dreams have weird logic he kept getting out of the police car, like the cops were so ineffective like it was a gta game but no really it felt weirdly realistic. he eventually escaped or either was never convicted with anything so went back to a life of crime, mostly doing rich kid drug dealing.

then my dream started becoming more vivid and we were in some dream neighborhood and he was looking for more people to kill and local retired veterans and policemen were standing around to diffuse him but they couldn’t, and he was so eager to murder the incel guy kept shooting everywhere and he pointed his columbine esque gun at me but before he could shoot me some police guy (probably SWAT) did a headshot on him and even that didn’t kill him and he rose his hand again to shoot me but just in the Knick of time he died saying “why me, n-no it can’t be me” and finally that vicious meme scrote died and I woke up with pain in my chest and overwhelming anxiety. I feel like I’m going on the verge of having my bad panic attacks again, sorry for bitching and moaning about this anons I know nightmares are very common but my subconscious must be absorbing something from my real life that isn’t particularly healthy or helpful for my psyche anymore and it needs to be purged. Iit’s now trying to desperately warn me or bringing my worse fears to light. i might have trauma affecting this I don’t know anymore

No. 729182

I used to really like this site as a female space where you can be yourself and say anything anonymously but I feel the userbase has changed to a bunch of unfunny libs who get mad whenever someone posts anything vaguely different from the majority opinion.

No. 729183

File: 1612346562570.png (207.54 KB, 499x544, 312032d7-ab41-403e-aacb-d6c5dd…)

>tfw you have no talent at anything and "doing your best" is other peoples minimum

I'm going to die under a fucking bridge one day

No. 729184

Coming to the realisation that I am a late bloomer and how it is distracting. Suddenly I have a great interest in "boy band" music (Justin Timberlake, some kpop, etc.) and I don't know how to feel about it… It definitely is symptoms of puberty but ughh why now… I'm too busy for it. For context, yes I am a senior in high school

No. 729185

I hate how the MTF thread actually has awful, degenerate cows being discussed and anons share interesting information amidst all the milk but the Fakeboi thread consistently gets derailed by salty /lgbt/ FTM refugees circlejerking over being superior to some largely harmless twitter fujo larpers.

No. 729187

>>729184
>Senior in high school
So you're what, 17 or 18? You're still a goddamn baby, anon. Enjoy your boy bands all you want.

No. 729190

>>729182
I feel the same way, I think some of these cows orbiters have integrated themselves into the non cow threads

No. 729193

>>729168
I'm glad you gave therapy a shot, although that sucks about your prior experience. It can be tough finding someone who's not up their ass and trying to push an agenda. On the plus side, it's great you have supportive friends and you seem good at self reflection, so I'm willing to bet you can pull yourself out of this. Personally, I hope you don't contact this guy anymore. Perhaps he's not as bad as your other ex, but he's a coomer who's clearly emotionally abusive as well (suicide baiting is a manipulation to make him seem like the victim while guilting you about wanting better). He's shown that he isn't grateful for your affection, doesn't care about your feelings or your safety(!) and it's a waste of your valuable time trying convince someone who lacks self awareness to care about you. It's something a lot of scrotes are literally incapable of. And as you say, it's not a reflection on you, but their own incompetence. Why spend your valuable time on a lost cause rather than continuing to enjoy your life, improve your career and focus on friendships that actually give back to you rather than someone who only takes? You might find the Female Dating Strategy (FDS) subreddit useful in terms of vetting guys for quality or even reaching the conclusion that a romantic relationship may not be a worthwhile focus at the moment. Maybe take a look at the posts linked in the sidebar in the handbook like this one (it helped me) - https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f9i9c7/good_luck_finding_a_guy_like_that_do_not_fall_for/

You should never have to lower your standards for the sake of having a partner. What's the point of having a man in your life if he's only going to drag you down and put you in uncomfortable, depressing and outright dangerous situations?

No. 729199

File: 1612348871388.jpg (17.41 KB, 507x314, gonzos1.jpg)

does anyone else here ever wish you could ignore the truth when it comes to being gc? like now that i am more aware and exposed to radfem ideas, its a relief to understand the world better and tbh it feels like the correct view of reality which is good. but in practice, it feels so awkward holding the opposite view from pretty much everyone else my age? its brought me nothing but even more alienation, and as someone who wants to date women, i tend to be attracted to women who id as nonbinary or some form of trans, or theyre a he him lesbian or something… which sucks because i know our opinions would clash. sometimes i wish i never peaked because its such a lonely fight and i hate feeling like its a secret i have to keep from people who i would otherwise care about and respect.

No. 729203

>>729184
Who cares. Music is there for your personal entertainment, not to impress others with your elite taste lol. Just enjoy it while you do.

No. 729204

>>729199
I understand you anon except I want a simple butch or femme gf someday and now I'd have to walk on eggshells if I ever wanted dating apps, dating services. Idk what the hell I'd do if I showed up at the date and it turned out to be a guy.

No. 729206

>>729199
I understand how you feel and struggled with it myself, but honestly it legitimately makes me feel empowered as a woman to know what I know now. I was so instilled with pickme/handmaidenish thoughts and had large amounts of internalized misogyny that I'm glad to have gotten rid of them and appreciate my gender. Finding out about all the extremely intelligent radfem authors and all the women of history nobody talks about makes me feel a lot better about being female.

Still sucks that I have to keep my mouth shut about my feelings regarding trannies because all of my friends are severely libfem slanted but I'm trusting that they'll peak eventually, if they haven't already done so in secret.

No. 729207

>>729203
>>729187
Thank you lol, I appreciate your kindness. Although I should emphasise my concern stems from complete disorientation in navigating this newly-found distraction whilst preparing for important exams. Couldn't it have arrived slightly earlier, and not at a time so hectic? Haha, that is all. boyband music increases particular daydreams and ambitions which are highly counterproductive !

No. 729212

>>729204
oh no i am there with you, its just that everyone seems to have a gender label these days regardless of how they appear ( at least in the social spheres i encounter) not that im purposely seeking out nb / trans identified women, hopefully this clears it up
>>729206
yes i definitely feel so much stronger with my self identity and mentally it has improved me so much too, truthfully i would never want to go back on it. i guess youre right that what i really wish is that everyone else would just peak already, cus it sucks being here all alone. but sadly thats a lot to ask. sometimes my frustration comes from feeling like being nb/trans is the new "safe", more socially accepted way of being lesbian?

(sorry i dont want to get into a gc discussion necessarily if its not allowed, the core of what im saying is that its difficult to have beliefs that set you apart from most people)

No. 729229

>>729199
Hopefully you have some radfem spaces that act as a sanctuary, even if they're online? I live in a really woke area and so it can be tough finding other women who aren't on the enby or trans bandwagon, but having an online community who I know gets it can be a huge relief when I need to vent. I also made some really good friends over radfem Discords and it's nice not having other people treat you like you're insane because you're not caught up in this degenerate society. Although, I have been pleasantly surprised by subtly introducing GC and radfem topics to some of my normie friends and found many are eager to agree just based on their many shitty experiences with scrotes. I think in a lot of cases it's just how you present things, where being GC/radfem is scary and evil but when you share the same ideas without any particular label or with a cute girl power approach like FDS they start peaking. It is tiring and lonely but I definitely wouldn't ever wish myself to be back in that mental hellscape where I was nothing but a self loathing toy for scrotes.

No. 729232

I’m so sick of my boyfriend. I’m getting out this relationship soon.

No. 729237

>>729232
Good for you anon to walk away from a bad situation (and a bad scrote). Wishing you safety and happiness going forward.

No. 729252

A friend has started a brand so she can maybe work freelance some day and I think it's amazing but I pretty much never see her anymore. She's more concerned with sharing on twitter or wherever her socials are, improving things, and I feel like this friendship is going to crumble the larger she gets. There's so much anxiety in me since she was a good friend after a shitty spot in my life. If I don't support her I'm an awful friend but if I did I'll probably just lose her faster. Seeing her is rare enough at her medium sized followers I'm sure she'll be decently gone if a high number is reached. We met by having the same interests so this didn't dawn on me when she was starting out. I feel shitty for thinking I might need to find new friends when she didn't really do anything wrong. I'm also honestly upset she didn't bother texting merry Christmas or happy new years at the least either.

No. 729260

Literally like 97% of all the sMAlL BuSIneSSes I see just sell absolute dogshite. Especially the ones just selling art/prints. What happened to getting your skill to an acceptable level before charging for it? Bonus idiot points for the ones who sell those vagina pots and similar shit like that. It's all just ugly poorly made crap and I would bet that most of their orders are just their friends/family pity buying their shit.

No. 729261

>>729252
Did you text her Happy New Years/Merry Christmas? If not, you really don't have a right to be upset over that.

No. 729262

>>729252
If she just started it’s probably a crucial period for her business.

No. 729265

>>729261
Yeah I did but she was on her socials
>>729262
She started a bit before we met but she really started focusing on followers a few months ago. I'm one of her few friends but it seems like she's stopped talking to the other girls as much too. Kind of can't have a friendship if the other one isn't around.

No. 729271

one reason i really want female friends is so that we can share clothes, style each other and take nice pictures. i definitely don't believe womanhood is defined by materialist nonsense such as clothing nor that all women like fashion (that is the reason why this wish has gone unfulfilled haha. the friend i have doesn't like fashion). i simply just would like this… i hope i don't offend anyone.

No. 729275

My bf thinks letting me know he thinks I'm attractive is telling me he wants to fuck me. I've told him that I have low self esteem and want to feel wanted. I don't think he's ever said "you look beautiful" or anything like that to me.

No. 729281

>>729271
Aaaa I just want a based bitch to wear coordinated fits with and be mean to men

No. 729298

>>729066
Preg winning the break up is a good start to 2021 full of twists. June sympathizers look dumb af rn KEK

No. 729351

I hate the retarded scrotes at my study so much. another project gone to waste because this loser dickhead failed to do his part AND let us know how we can make up for it. I understand if someone has depression but does he? At this point he should be taking responsibility. We are not in highschool anymore.

No. 729373

File: 1612371572154.jpg (18.85 KB, 244x213, windwaker.JPG)

I think my sister might be narcissic.

No. 729376

My dog won’t give me a kissy when I ask him to and idk what I did to offend him but he just keeps looking at me and he usually always ALWAYS gives me a kissy like wtf I’m hurt

No. 729379

>>729376
This reminds me of that one time I met my grandparents cat outside and he didn't come to me even though he always does when I call for him. Was he embarrassed of me?

No. 729388

>>729058
I am so sorry anon. My mom treats me the exact same. Luckily, after I moved away I no longer have to deal with that shit. It's still sad because I wish I had a cool relationship with my mom like a lot of women do, but she doesn't even know who I am at all. She never cared about my interests growing up unless they aligned with hers. I don't even care anymore.

No. 729391

>>729373
i scrolled too fast and thought this was yandere anon

No. 729439

Help. My retail job has really negatively impacted my speech. I occasionally stutter but most times I mess up my pronunciation because I have a million things running through my mind. I'm hyper conscious that I look stupid and I'm simultaneously trying to speak "properly" and normally. It's chaotic and what was left of my confidence continues to crumble. I thought that over time this would improve but it appears to be getting worse. I'm so frustrated. It's like my tongue betrays me and I watch it happen. It has started to leak into casual conversations. I hate this.

No. 729440

>>729439
I never had any speech problems before this. I am controlled by anxiety and it sucks.

No. 729453

File: 1612376704072.jpg (21.39 KB, 583x562, 4iubQx1.jpg)

Very stupid vent, but I need to say it to someone.

I feel so uncomfortable with my Computer science teacher. He is not a bad person, but I don't like his class, it's not because of the subject, but his way of speaking to us makes me feel wrong.

He always tell us how he is teaching us things that we won't find on any book or class; sometimes he will show off private conversations he had with another students, about how important his classes were. There's even was a time were he took several minutes of the class to make the calculation of how many hours he spends looking at our assingments just to tell us that he is more busy than us.

I don't like how he talks down to us, sometimes even from behind, because I once had a Skype call with him and he complained about the others for a while, even showing me some of their assigments.

I don't know, I guess I just dislike how he talks bad behind our backs, because I can't say that he hasn't talk about me with someone else. I have been putting all the effort I can on his assigments. It just scares me a little the idea that he is showing and laughing at my works with other classes.

No. 729475

>>729121
whys it so hard to believe some women like anal and the feeling of it?

No. 729476

>>729453

tbh he's probably just an honest one. Most teachers are insufferable shitlords who probably do the same shit or worse.

No. 729477

>>729475
NTA, because most don't. 50% aren't "some".

No. 729488

>>729089
>'apparently'
>50%
anon for fuck sake stop listening to men who want to ram their dicks up your shit hole.

No. 729490

>>729475
It just doesn't add it up, lady. The only way it would make sense for a woman to feel pleasure from anal would be if she's feeling pleasure due to the pressure on her vaginal canal, in which case, just have vaginal sex. At best it's a self-harm kink by stretching and tearing your anus to get an echo of a sensation you could get from normal PIV. I am serious.

No. 729493

>>729477
50% sounds really generous tbh. I don’t doubt there are some women who like it, but saying half of all women like anal when most don’t even get off from regular PIV just doesn’t add up.

No. 729499

>>729493
Yeah anon pulled 50% out of nowhere, not to mention a lot of women claim to enjoy anal more than they actually do because they know men like it.

No. 729502

>>729089
[citation needed]
This has the same energy as that "1 in every 10 women has canine sperm found from her pap smear samples" coomer rumor.

No. 729503

>>729499
I enjoy it with toys but haven't actually had a dick or a man near my asshole, so I always count that out.

No. 729509

>>729499
>a lot of women claim to enjoy anal more than they actually do because they know men like it.
Ugh I used to say this back when I was a massive pickme. A lot of other idiot pickmes think liking degenerate sex acts will make them cool and ~not like those other uptight girls~

No. 729511

>>729089
Bullshit obviously made up by pornsick scrotes.

No. 729517

I've had the same anal obsessed bf experience..on repeat with nearly every guy. Seeing as I had active IBS symptoms for years and was on meds I at least got to use that to shut them up for the most part.

I have enjoyed ass stuff twice in my 12 years of being sexually active. Once was dp where a guy just put a toy in the back and the other time was regular ole anal at my request. It was only good because I was the one saying "wow this is super rare but I think I actually want it tonight" A man pushing you for it is not going to end in it being good.

They take a possibly-enjoyable thing and then ruin it by putting pressure on and not considering our end of the deal. Everything they want so badly…they fuck it up for themselves with their shitty selfish attitude.

No. 729527

I'm reading a "how to communicate" book where the author just says he'll refer to all people in examples as "he" and the reader can use their imagination if they need to change it.

I fucking HATE it. I feel like a misgendered trans omg. And it's so transparent too. The language switches to "they" when they're talking about something they clearly associate with women. It's personality type shit. The dominant and demanding personality type? "he" across the board. The likeable, happy and eager to please type? "they", obviously.

Man it's affecting my ability to read the book, but that's what I get for impulase purchases.

No. 729541

My whole life I wanted to be a surgeon but my retarded ass:
>"Uhm I'll just wait until I get an actual career first so I can afford med school ha HA.

I'm 25. Got a job making a decent salary. But I feel trapped. I want a family, but if I have a family can I be there for my kids while being a med student? I didn't even go to school for science, I went to school for engineering so I'm techy. I can't just go back to pay for more school, that'd be so much money. Don't want to spend hours away from my husband and I don't want to be the "old one" in class. But I just love all things medical, all things surgery.

What should I do anons? Is it really okay for me to go back?

No. 729542

>>729541
samefag but if I go now, it'll be too early. If I go later it might be too late.

This is my life's dream…

No. 729543

>>729541
Which is worse, you being "the old one" or the sinking feeling forever of knowing you let that fear keep youaway from trying?

No. 729544

File: 1612383678666.jpg (32.91 KB, 598x521, Blank _1b7daf83e683855c664e0d5…)

>>729543
true… ty anon, that did make me feel more confident and push me more towards doing it

No. 729551

>>729453
>He is not a bad person
Everything you've mentioned in this post says otherwise. Maybe he's not as bad as some other teachers you've had, or others you've spent time around, but constantly bragging about how important/interesting his class is and sharing private conversations is extremely yikes behavior. He sounds extremely petty and narcissistic. Sharing private information alone is enough to justify reporting him to someone higher up.

No. 729556

>>729475
Because liking anything men like makes you a pickme, duhhhh

No. 729557

>>728757
I'M ABOUT TO MCFUCKING LOSE IT

2 hours worth of phone calls later and I am STILL on the phone trying to get my shit covered. I spoke with someone else who said "YES, everything will be covered BUT you need a pre authorization and the office you go to will have to do that." Call my provider, thy say they don't call the insurances to do pre auth, I have to do it. Call my insurance AGAIN to get this pre auth, and now a DIFFERENT guy is telling me "it's covered under your plan under family planning, you do not need a pre authorization." Like, what the fuck! Every time it's a new person with different answers! What am I supposed to do when I get my shit done and then I'm slapped with a bill that I believed I wouldn't get because whether or not it's covered seems to depend on who I'm speaking with? It's frustrating as fuck, the health insurance's website won't even give me the full summary of benefits. What's the fucking point? Just put that shit on the website, I'm sick of calling and getting a different person each time with different answers!

No. 729560

>>729557
>>728757
Standard American Health Care practices. I'm sorry anon.

No. 729584

My friend’s roommate, my mutual on basically every social media is starting twitch streaming as a vtuber. I am so tired, bitch you are 30 and can’t play games nor can you speak english, I don’t know what the fuck I am gonna do.
>but anon, what does this have to do with you? Just unfollow her
Bitch, we have too many mutual friends and she’s spergy, actually autistic but other than this, pretty okay. I just can’t stand vtubers, can’t escape that shit it feels like.

No. 729591

>>729560
I finally have some solid answers, I need the pre auth for the removal and insertion but the IUD itself is covered. My provider will get the pre auth when I go in to see them, thank fucking GOD.

I just hate that with every appointment I make, I have to ask the receptionist if it'll be covered. Then I'll end up calling my health insurance every single time to make sure it's covered. And then as I sit in for my appointment, every little move the nurses and doctor makes, I'll constantly have to wonder "is this covered? is that covered?" It makes me want to fucking cry because it stresses me out so much. Why am I even paying for health insurance at this point when what is covered and what isn't covered is constantly up in the air and depends on the agent's mood of the minute?

I have so little faith in private health insurance, I know they like to use sneaky language and will find some loophole to slap me with a bill because technically somewhere in some forms they will not post online, it said that XYZ is not ACTUALLY covered unless it's under ABC conditions or some shit. I miss being under my parent's medicaid, I never had to pay for anything and never had to wonder if something would be covered. Everything was always 100% covered. The only time I had to pay was when my optometrist gave me the option for generic eyedrops (free) or name brand ones. Too bad I make "too much money" i.e. I literally earn minimum wage in my state (which is one of the most expensive) but that's still too much since medicaid wants to go based on federal poverty levels for god knows what fucking reason!

My coworkers say "you're young and healthy, you don't need health insurance or to go see a doctor!" but who cares! That's none of their business! So what if I want to be a little bit proactive and build a relationship with a doctor so that I can remain healthy? So what if I know that I'm heavily predisposed to a myriad of chronic health conditions that run rampant in my family and want to keep things in check? That "oh no they found cancer in me despite me being a health adult" shit is probably not going to happen to me, but I desperately just want to see a doctor again for the first time in like 3 years.

Biden better get some god damn health reforms going but I already know I'm probably going to grow a third arm before this backwards ass country does something sensible in regards to health care for once. Fuck this shithole.

No. 729592

>>729560
Also thank you for your condolences anon. I did not mean to angrily dump another vent onto you.

No. 729599

>>729074
How does it make sense that you cooked dinner after a full day of work while he was sitting around all day? I'm sorry but that does not fly in my household, it's BASIC respect. Anon you should make it the standard that when someone has a day off then they take care of dinner and/or the laundry. It's not like they have anything else to do.

No. 729606

>>729125
God, i have a literal phobia of mens arses I know they aren't washing up their properly and whenever I look at them it's one of the first things I think about.

No. 729616

I have my "weekend" today and tomorrow because I'll be working on Saturday and Sunday but my entire family ruined all my plans. I was just supposed to buy a few things outside before the curfew today and chill at home and beat DMC3 tomorrow but that won't happen and I'm not even sure I'll be able to sleep correctly tonight because they called some guy to just check if something that's already repaired is actually repaired in my room. Last time I could actually get some rest on a weekend was in December I think.

No. 729628

that CP image posted again in /pt/ this time… farmhands save us, this is so awful

No. 729630

I was sexually abused not too long ago and I'm still a teenager basically so I am still developing sexually. Ever since it happened I find myself thinking about and gravitating towards sexual things even more than before, despite hating it viscerally. I watch women dance sexual dances and partake in classes with sexually colored choreographies, and I find it difficult to deal with entirely. I hate sex and everything about it but I also want my sexual independenc and autonomy back and because of it my mind and body are sending off these weird signals of sex repulsion mixed with an interest in sex + puberty hormones. i just feel messed up and weird. I will be in one of those classes because I want to feel comfortable moving sexually but I will have to take breaks in between to cry in the bathroom. I am drawn towards these things and yet I am repulsed by them. ugh, I don't have space for this in my life rn

No. 729631


No. 729632

>>729628
Managed to report without seeing it again but for fucks sake, I hate scrotes

No. 729651

My boyfriend is an enabler with tons of shitty people in his life that he's constantly making excuses for. He's always going on about how important it is to see the good in everyone, and doesn't seem to accept that doing so can be a detriment in many cases, and that there are just some people whose behavior you shouldn't tolerate under any circumstances. It's hard for me to trust or respect him because of it. I honestly want to break up with him at this point because he's clearly not ready to address the problem, even if he's not actively trying to cause me harm by being this way.

Like, the fact that he thinks playing video games with my abusive ex shouldn't be a big deal and that I shouldn't try and stop him from doing that was probably the first sign that this relationship was doomed. His whole fucking family is like this. They just act like abuse isn't a big deal unless it's physical/sexual, or play into the whole "other people can't make you feel bad unless you let them" bullshit.

No. 729662

I am 28 years old and still under my parents thumb at their house due to both physical and mental disabilities that have prevented me from having a stable or good quality of life for the several years. I say this as background for what I am about to say next.

Just last week I committed suicide via fentanyl overdose. I knew it would work because I had OD'd and would have died had I not received immediate CPR and narcan a previous time months before. But just like the first time, one of my family members just "had a hunch" to check on me. They found me unresponsive and not breathing. My dad is a doctor and must have prepared for this after the last time so used a defibrillator, some kind of bag I can't remember the name of, and provided nasal narcan up each nostril, preforming CPR until the paramedics arrived. For 11 minutes I was not even taking full breaths, just rattling gasps.

I open my eyes to the scene I so clearly remember from the last attempt. My father and about six paramedics standing over me. Wishing it was a dream. Them carrying me out on the stretcher. My mom in the living room crying and the sight of some of my siblings, also all same as before. Being carted into the ambulance. I spent two days in the hospital o can't even remember. Apparently when I was being asked questions by the doctor about if this was a suicide I became agitated and laughed sarcastically and said in a mocking tone "is this a suicide?". Same when they asked of the self harm on my arm that I had caused two days prior. Next thing I know that snarky response caused me a week stay in the local psych ward. I spent the first two or three days in the bed, unmoving. Barely remember that either.

As soon as my parents take me home on my discharge date and I get through the door to the house, I am immediately having to sign papers to a treatment center I did not agree to (in the psych ward my dad said he would give me the option to at least look at some places before deciding on one and that I could spend a few days with family before doing this process). I know I didn't HAVE to sign them, but my parents are great with making me feel guilty and that I owe them as much since they pay for my existence basically. I can't drive, can't maintain a job, all that good stuff. And although I am legally an adult they still treat me like a child. They expressed how much grief I was causing them. Now yes I do have sympathy for them and felt really bad, but at the same time tactics of manipulation were used like holding the amount of money they have spent on my treatments in the past over my head and how they have to provide for me. This specific treatment center was chosen by my dad. No negotiation. No I "did not have a choice" on if I wanted to go or not. Their words.

This specific facility is 4 hours away in bumfuck nowhere. The program is a god damn year long. The whole time I am there due to covid I will not be allowed to receive visitors. I had been pushed to already complete a phone interview with the place before I even got to see what it looks like or what it specializes in. I never got what my dad and I agreed upon, no time to destress. They keep having "talks" with me over and over about what feels like the same things, just worded differently. Every time they call me over to the table to sit down and have these chats it feels like I am walking the path to hell.

I do not want to cause my family grief. I never have. I never wanted to hurt anybody or be this way, but there has been so much trauma in my life since 6 onwards. Honestly, I just wish I could get it to the point where nobody gave a shit about me. I wish I was never revived. I want to be dead. I have been apathetic about life for a long time and barely find joy in anything. I don't think I ever will again. And I'd rather not exist sucking away resources and money that is not my own while providing nothing of value.

I'm going to go just to please my parents and because I have nowhere else to turn to besides the streets. I wouldn't make it out there. But I am now having constant meltdowns knowing in a week or less I am signing my life away to a place I'd rather not be at.

I honestly don't know what my life has become. I'm a fucking doormat, a nobody who has nobody besides my immediate family who for some reason can't have talks about mental health, and will never be anybody. I'm hoping to whatever god there is out there that very soon something will happen to my weak ass body that I can't recover from and I die so called naturally si maybe my family won't have to think they failed. I was the failure, not them.

No. 729663

I'm losing weight right now at a steady and healthy pace and want to keep track of my calories just out of interest and see how I'm doing, but I know this'll send my former ana-chan ass back spiraling, life is pain reeeee

No. 729669

I am fucking losing it

No. 729671

>>729669
I think someone has their eyes on me again and is talking about me.

No. 729673

File: 1612395138062.jpeg (62.79 KB, 700x960, 9022CECE-AD56-4192-AC3E-103B7C…)

My acne scars are so fucking bad fuuuckkkk
They ruin my confidence. I guess I need to find 3k somehow to get a peel / recurring laser treatments or whatthefuckever ..and that may or may not work.

No. 729678

>>729662
This sounds so hard anon… it's really hard to find the right words to respond, but I just want you to know that you're being heard, even if only here for now; hopefully by your parents in the future. It sucks you'll be stuck in that facility, especially with no visits, but maybe they will have good therapists that will actually provide help? Ideally you'd have something akin to couple's therapy, you and your parents having a discussion about how you really feel about your situation with them moderated by a good therapist, so maybe they can finally understand and you can finally be treated like an adult you are. It's never too late to start your independent life, you can do it.

No. 729680

File: 1612396419253.gif (361.66 KB, 220x160, tenor (5).gif)

I've been a hardcore maladaptive daydreamer since I was like 12. I have my perfect music career there, I'm accomplished and I have the love of my life by my side. Fantasy is so much better than reality. Not so long ago I was extremely bitter because of the fact my "real" life will never be satisfying, but now I reached the levels of copium where I literally don't care that my life and health is shit, I have no friends and no family, I'm a virgin and a wageslave and it's too late for me to develop artistically and make a living out of it, and even if it's not too late I wouldn't have enough time and energy for practice because of my shitty wageslave job. I couldn't believe I had only one life and I already wasted it, it's too late for literally everything I dreamed about as a child, and besides that, I've been socially isolated for the majority of my life and I don't know how to function around people. But now I don't care anymore. I'm happy and accomplished in my fantasy. I don't need objective reality, I have my own. It feels so good

No. 729690

The thing about being autistic as shit is I noticed normies have all these weird arbitrary rules for themselves. So we went out with this scrote and he offered to pay for my four loko and my food which was 13$, he kept saying "it's cool I'll pay". 3 days later he texts my friend bitching about the money. Why offer? Why not just ask for the cash right then and there? They can never just say what they want. Like did he think that if be offered I would say "oh no no no that's fine". Every little thing offends them and ya never know what you will say or do that will trigger them.

No. 729696

>>729673
Lactic acid peels, salicylic acid to prevent more acne, vitamin e oil and collagen/retinol. SPF and cover your face, I have cystic acne scars as well but mine are fading slowly without the thousand-plus dollar treatments.

No. 729697

>>729690
This isn't being a normie, it's being an insecure scrote. "Normie" women don't act like this at all

No. 729698

>>729690
Allistics are the disabled ones IMHO.

No. 729711

>>729690
Either he fancied you and somehow wanted something in return for his big 13 dollar spend.. or he was expecting you to take turns paying for shit like friends do, like did you go anywhere after that and pay seperately or was that it?

No. 729721

File: 1612401548708.jpg (34 KB, 550x550, ahhh.jpg)

>Your medical device isn't supported on this phone
>tfw phones only 4 years old
>F-four years old is a long time I guess in phone years
>I guess I do need a new phone
>I'll just upgrade for 120
>Your medical device isn't supported on this phone
I even checked at the store if the phone let me look it up on google store, old phone didn't let me. This is some bullshit because I'm hearing stories of people with S21's getting this message

No. 729730

>>729662
>I was the failure, not them.
Anon, that's bullshit. This is the kind of thinking that results from years of abuse and gaslighting. At best, maybe your parents meant well, but they clearly failed you. They are guilt tripping you, unable to acknowledge your emotional pain, and are, from the sound of it, very controlling of you.

It's really telling of your character that you can still empathize with your parents, despite how poorly they treat you. It certainly doesn't sound like they're doing the same for you, especially if, instead of acknowledging how much you're struggling, they are trying to make themselves out to be victims of your pain.

I'm so sorry things have gone so wrong for you. For what it's worth, I believe you, and I don't judge you for wanting to die. Honestly, I think that feeling trapped and hopeless in the situation you're in for so long would push anyone to the brink of suicide. I do hope that you find it in yourself to try, because I know that things can get better for you. It may not happen over night, but you can get there.

No. 729746

>>729730
*hope you find it in yourself to try and keep going

No. 729756

i'm sick of being such a useless retarded idiot. i'm so stupid and useless i can't even properly make doctor's appointments, and the more i tried to fix my mistakes the more i kept fucking up. i feel so stupid and retarded and unfixable i actually want to kill myself so i'd do my family a fucking favor, every time i have to do something even remotely important i feel like i'm an autistic mecha being piloted by absolute fucking retards. the worst part is i'm not even actually autistic, i'm just insanely anxious to the point where i dissociate and lose consciousness of what i'm doing/saying, which makes me do retarded shit. if i were actually SOMETHING other than an anxious mess maybe i'd feel better about being such a regal tard at my age.

i want to cry and hurt myself. i feel so unfixably retarded. i don't fucking know what to do anymore. i've tried so, so fucking hard anons, but it seems the harder i try the more useless i become. life feels like everyone else just knows things that i don't, and that every conclusion i come to is wrong. i'm constantly terrified that i'm making an idiot of myself in front of everyone and that my friends are too shy to tell me i'm being a retard. the 'ronavirus and quarantine have pulled me back several squares in my development, i was actually making progress and being a lot more independent but now i feel fourteen again when i was at peak retardation and i'm so goddamn ashamed of myself, it feels as if i'd need to be born again and hardwired with another, better brain in order not to be such a useless bitch anymore.

someone put me out of my fucking misery please, i can't take it anymore, i hate being so fucking stupid i hate it, sorry for the walltext nonnies

No. 729757

I feel really sick and just confused. Last night my boyfriend initiated sex with me after I said repeatedly that I was feeling really sick (I was having a bad mental episode all day, and was just generally really dizzy/nauseous,) and I had taken my sleep medication already. I was really out if it and kept trying to say that, and he kept pressing it, saying it'll be fine, and just like.. touching me. I got so dizzy and my meds started kicking in where all I could really manage to say was "I don't know/I'm not sure/I feel sick" and he kept going until he was actually fucking me and kept doing a lot of dirty talk. And, like, my body enjoyed it. It didn't hurt and I didn't really resist but In really don't know how to feel about it and I'm scared especially since I have a long history of abuse and I know he didn't mean to hurt me.

No. 729765

>>729757
Anon, if he didn't meant to hurt you he would've stopped the second you said you're not sure.

No. 729768

File: 1612405503401.gif (2.87 MB, 140x140, 1574476682446.gif)

I hate being an ugly duckling. I was very, very ugly for most of my childhood. I was as cute as most kids until maybe the age of 5 and then something happened. I turned into this ugly mess, I wore hand me downs, had an ugly bowl cut, dark skin people picked on me for, and I don't think I'll ever stop being bitter over how I was treated.

It didn't help that my best childhood friend was adorable, and whenever we went somewhere together people fawned all over her while pretending I don't exist. Even our parents treated us differently, she was raised to be mommy's pretty princess while I was my mom's personal punching bag. That was fine though, we loved each other anyway.

As a teen, girls would get so much attention and praise for being pretty, while I was at best ignored and at worst bullied by both boys and girls. They would make monkey noises at me (I was hairy), throw rocks at my head, call me all sorts of names mostly having to do with me being brown with a big nose. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 20, and even then he later told me he only liked me because I was interested in him and he was desperate. Even when I tried to glow up, people would never say what looks good or bad on me, they'd just talk shit about me behind my back and say my foundation made me look like a clown because it was too pale. I didn't know, I lived in a shitty basement rental and my bathroom lighting was just a bright orange lamp.

I didn't have any money to change my appearance until I turned 23 and got out of college, I had nose surgery and started changing my wardrobe to something cuter. At some point, I don't know when, the laughing stopped. I'm now 28 and people are sooo much more friendly towards me. I dress well and look really cute.
But I don't know if I can ever let go of the bitter feelings, I have become such a venomous, bitter person that I almost wish I was still ugly and broke. Holyyyy shit I get so red hot angry whenever I remember how garbage people were towards me just because I used to have a mustache and dark skin. Not just young men, everyone - aunties, uncles, middle aged grocery store workers named Sharon. I would never in a million years be so evil towards someone just because they look bad! It's not like looks are contagious, just say please and thank you and move on! I want to cry, it's so unfair.

No. 729776

>>729757
This is definitely not okay anon, and I’m sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately society’s line between normal sex and assault is pretty hazy as it is, but what I can say for certain is that your partner did not have your consent and broke a boundary here. He essentially prioritized using you as a masturbatory aid over respecting your very clear discomfort, when he should’ve been taking care of you and helping you relax. No healthy person wants to have sex with someone when they’re not enthusiastically on board unless they’re fucked in the head. You deserve better than this and imo you should drop him immediately. He lacks empathy, kindness and respect for you as a person.

No. 729778

Watching old videos from my childhood today, didn’t realise how bad a hoarder my mum used to be. I have really pushed and helped her endlessly over the past few years to sort out her hoard, and like 90% of the rooms in the house aren’t hoarded anymore.
It’s insane to look back on the videos and watch us as a family, walking over piles of junk in each room, how messy and terrible everywhere looked. Just in excess of everything. Feelings of doorbell dread, never being able to invite anyone over, just general uncleanliness everywhere, all rushing back to me. It’s just made me grumpy thinking back on it. Now I feel like I’m obsessive about being tidy and clean, and have a real perfectionism issue.
Ever since I’ve been at home over the pandemic, I’ve turned into a personal family maid that cleans up after everyone. I seriously feel anxious with mess, but if I don’t clean up, then it will literally take days for someone else to take the initiate to give the place a half hearted clean up, if even that. I can’t stand it!

No. 729793

>>729711
Well I was drunk as shit and left a mcchicken in his cup holder which he was mad about, I get that's a valid reason to be mad…I dont remember doing that though. Also when we were driving someone in the front seat accidentally knocked his phone in the back seat with me then he proceeded to get angry at me for not helping him find his phone despite the fact that I had no idea his phone dropped and he didnt ask me to help either. Then he bitches to my friend about having to "drive me around" even though I do not know this man and it was my friends idea to drive to all these places. He blamed me for it. He whined about driving me home even though my house is like 5 minutes away from my friend. I just gave him 23 dollars for gas, the mcdonalds and the four loko and he said "thanks but you're still banned from my car because you disrespected me and my time".

No. 729797

>>729680
I can relate word for word. I have several made up fantasy selves. They all have very caring families and friends and SO. I think my low point was when I was alone on my birthday and I put on a sleep mask + headphones set to white noise and had an elaborate fantasy of a surprise birthday dinner

No. 729810

>>729768
Good for you, anon. I want a nose job so bad lol, I just hate that it's a damned if you, damned if you don't situation. People treat you like shit for being ugly, but if you get a nose job they turn around and treat you like shit for getting surgery. Like it's a fucking crime to be born imperfect and want to fix it.

No. 729816

How fucked up is it if my dad showed me photos of STD infected genitals and said it could happen to me.

No. 729821

>>729816
schools do that all the time

No. 729822

>>729821
Nta but mine definitely did not

No. 729824

>>729822
Nta but how the hell did you learn then? We had medical photos

No. 729827

>>729680
I’m someone who has made their artistic ability into their job and I want you to know that doing so has kind of killed my imagination in a way.
Because I’m so focused on what others want and what would be the best composition or the best story I can’t let loose and just imagine because my fantasies are filled with stop signs and road blocks of “no thats too cringe”, “no it’s been done”, “no, too boring” “no, off brand”, etc. I can’t even imagine for myself anymore, no guilty pleasure fantasies without feeling self conscious in my own head. I’m trying to unlearn this.
I’m actually jealous of you, I really wish I could fantasize like I did as a kid. I wish I could get into fiction more like I used to. Now I see it like a male gynecologist looks at vaginas, it’s not beautiful or sexy anymore it’s just something that needs to be analyzed.
For reference, I’m an illustrator. It was my goal to be able to draw well enough to make stories in the form of comics. I’m truly a starving artist, majorly, and I’ve been doing it for four years “full time”.
I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I’m sorry if it comes off that way.

No. 729829

>>729793
What a piece of shit whiny baby he is. When people act this flamboyantly retarded I just tell myself that they have to be going through an episode in their personal life and will feel embarrassed as fuck someday over acting like this.
These people are genuinely the worst and I know what you mean about being an autist and around normies. I’m not even really autistic, just socially retarded sometimes, and people who are overly polite and focus so much on etiquette are the bane of my existence. I would much rather hang out with minimum wage slaves and people who just don’t give a fuck about life then the overly successful silver spoon kind of people because there are so many horrible social rules to follow around them. The worst case of this I experience is my sisters husband who is Saudi Arabian, etiquette is so important there and he gets genuinely heated if someone doesn’t thank him enough for some stupid Christmas gift, they also spend a ridiculous amount of money on gifts and think it’s really lowly of us not to spend at least 50 dollars on each person.

No. 729833

>>729829
Yeah I thought paying for gas and the food would be enough to mend the situation and show I'm sorry but he still acted like an asshole. This is why I cant deal with normies because idk all their little social shits.

No. 729885

>>729833
Samefag and this reminds me of the time we had a potluck at work and I bought chips and pop and it pisses the normies off because I didnt cook it fresh

No. 729896

Men made me this way men hurt me. Why did all the men in my life have to hurt me so fucking much. I'm not even joking I'm going to commit suicide in front of a men's shelter. I want to die so badly it hurts. I don't care any more. I just want the pain to stop I don't want to ever have to look at a man again. I want to die

No. 729898

>>729896
If you dont care about life just murder a few scrotes and become the first female serial killer. Live my dream.

No. 729903

>>729898
I feel like it would be counterproductive to our efforts and beliefs. Most men would be sympathetic to degenerate scrote victims murdered by a woman, because they know it very well could've been them.

No. 729904

>>729903
Yes but she would get to have to fun torturing and killing some scrotes. Scrotes wouldnt care if she killed herself, they would think it's funny.

No. 729908

>>729904
either way her life would still revolve around them. the real win is to overcome the pain and live a life for herself, with lots of female friends so she can heal. but ik you are kind of joking.
to >>729896 I know 100% it's unfair what these men did to you and whoever else too, but I want you to consider that there can be more to life than men's shit. in a sense they win this way in inflicting pain and I never want that for anyone and you sound really sweet. I'm sorry this isn't a good reply but I feel for you reading your post. Whatever happened you didn't deserve but what you do deserve is to live as you should've if they didn't do this to you. you deserve to be healthy and happy. I know the pain is unbearable right now but please consider you can become stronger than it, than what happened and you can see the world in a new light like anyone. The best revenge on the ones who hurt you is working through the hurt and surpassing it, which I believe in you that you can. Men try to exert power over us by making us hurt but by learning to live a happy fulfilled life despite that is how we can surpass their influence and use the experience to help other women. Still I know it's extremely difficult and I'm not shaming you, please stay safe anon I'm so sorry

No. 729916

File: 1612424819486.png (407.39 KB, 528x626, 1605220720967.png)

>>729908
Thank you so much anon for this reply. I posted this >>729896 because something I read reminded me a little too much of something I went through when I was a kid. It just hurts to know men who abuse children and women still are rampant, it feels like the numbers just keep going higher (so many horrible things are being normalized). It really depressed me, but your post gave me hope anon. I really do want to try and live a better life, free from reliving trauma and hate towards men, though sometimes it really does feel hard when I see all the hurt they cause in front of me. Again, thank you for your reply. It means a lot that someone cared a bit to reply at all. I wish you the best, and I hope you are living the fulfilling, happy life you deserve as well.

No. 729927

Tried to take a nap in between shifts yesterday and that was the exact time frame my neighbors decided to try and move their car off of ice, which consisted solely of reving the engine nonstop for an hour straight while making no progress. The rage I felt was unfathomable.

No. 729959

Just realized everyone I like on YT is perfectly nice and yet annoying/retarded in some way

Alexandria Ryan, subscription box reviewer
>Literally has a Masters but is too lazy and stupid to check how anything is pronounced, trips over ever other normal word and leaves it in the edit because so quirky and relatable
>wipes lipstick and swatches off with cardboard, gross receipts, plastic wrapping, anything to hand instead of just buying makeup wipes for literally a dollar
>rips packages open with her teeth, people send her box cutters, she loses them
>proud of being messy and disorganized to the point of losing hundreds of dollars on boxes that don't arrive
>the only millennial I've ever heard of that fell for a cookie-cutter phishing scam, lost access to her Adsense for months due to sheer retardation

Bernadette Banner, historical costumer
>Victorian waif LARP gets old quick, pretends to be mystified by basic things: what is a tablet? What is Christmas? How does an electric sewing machine work???
>Appears sane and not-bothered but posted a thousand-word sulky response to her own Guru Gossip thread that had like 4 posts in it
>CALL FABRIC SCRAPS 'CABBAGE' ONE MORE TIME BITCH

Jenny Nicholson, pop culture list-maker I guess
>Being 29 and still doing your makeup like a middle-school anime cosplayer
>Combined with too-bright and too-blurry camera JFC her shit is getting hard to look at, just get a beauty filter if you're so insecure
>Bought a second-hand Harry Potter toy and made a big fanfair of donating to some troon charity afterwards because JKR bad

Mikaela Long, general comedy/lifestyle
>mid-twenties but super stunted and afraid of everything, literally calls mommy for help with most videos (and her mom sounds tired of her lol)
>Could be at 5 million by now if she just put out three or four okay videos a month, but she's scawwed of cwiticism uwu so she only posts a few times a year and keeps privating her old videos
>is literally a beautiful charismatic young woman in LA but spends her time colour-coordinating her coffee straw to her socks like an autist while her life wastes away, has several videos crying/breaking down, yet never goes to a goddamn therapist

Barry Lewis, cooking etc
>Be a grown man and still forget that hot things are hot and make you go ouch, he burns himself on literally every hot thing in his kitchen and it makes me cringe
>So corny I change the video if anyone else comes in the room bc I'm embarrassed to be consuming this content
>Used to think he was cool for being self-taught cook and making so much for his family - then his wife mentioned in a Q&A that he would spend all day filming in the kitchen and then she'd come home from work, the kitchen would be messy as hell and then she'd have to clean up AND make dinner - this motherfucker cooking all day and can't whip up some food for the family while he's at it? Scrote behaviour.


I know we make fun of actual cows on this site so that's why I'm dumping these midnight thoughts here. I'm also curious what normal/unproblematic people grind your gears for no goddamn reason

No. 729974

>>729816
>"This could happen to you."
It shouldn't if you want to actually educate me about issues, provide a safe and nonconfrontational space to talk about those issues, and give me resources to use when I think I might encounter those issues.

Parenting should be licensed.

No. 729977

I'm supposed to graduate in a few months but I'm so close to dropping out. My university is such a shithole in terms of languages that I'm afraid to even try for masters elsewhere. What if I get accepted but my level is too low because my current uni is a joke ?
This school year has been nothing but a fucking joke, and everyone in my license (most teachers, administration) are clowns. I'd rather stick my boobs in a panini press than stay at this uni for a masters. thank god uni is free in my country kek, because my major truly is a disaster
I shouldn't even have been here. I should have been studying on the other side of the world as an exchange student for the year, but covid happened, which is no one's fault but I'm so fucking lost right now. I was supposed to come back from my exchange to do a masters, but now I'm not even sure if I have the mental capacity for it. My ADHD has been getting worse and worse in the past few months and I started missing classes on purpose, when I usually managed pretty well for someone who has ADHD this severe. I'm trying to get an appointment to try meds, but I think the problem is bigger than that. Thinking about taking a year off to sort things out but it's so complicated because of my parents. I'm barely holding on to finish this year to get out of this shitty uni but I have no idea what I'm gonna do afterwards, it's very confusing. that's a lot of complaining for someone lucky enough to get free education but fuck this university, it's so poorly managed and only holds on thanks to the hard work of a few teachers who break their backs working for a ridiculously small salary

No. 729988

File: 1612435912346.gif (1.05 MB, 1920x1080, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.gif)

JUST LEAVE THE FUCKING APARTMENT ALREADY AND GO TO WORK YOU FUCKING BULLCOW!

I'm tired of your hacking, snorting, burping, sniffling ass. I want to be able to wake up and cook a delicious breakfast for myself before I have to leave for work, uninterrupted. GET THE FUCK OUT! LEAVE! I don't need your worthless ass around to prod me about what I'm cooking, complaining weeeh where's yours, or you making a fucking comment because you disagree with the smell, look, or genre of what I happen to be making to eat.
FUCK OFF.
You never make me any meals unlike what I do, even though it's more than you deserve. I'd throw the "WAH WHERE'S MY FOOD?!" reverse uno style in your face if your lazy ass ever made food worth eating, or didn't hide your takeout boxes. I never pick on you for eating cereal for dinner, being so broke for food that you have to eat canned soup or a shit sandwich because you're bad with your salary, or making canned tuna that smells like infected pussy with fart queef. I WANT TO KICK YOUR STUPID ASS BUT THEY WOULD LOCK ME UP FOR GERIATRIC ABUSE. So just fucking go! Quit blowing up your bathroom with your gross power shitting that I can hear all the way from my bedroom. LEAVE! I don't pay rent here so I have to be subjected to this nonsense. LEAVE!
Get out of my apartment, now.
GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT NOW!

No. 729990

>>729988
You don't pay rent, how is it your appartment then?

No. 729993

>>729990
>I don't pay rent here
>so I have to be subjugated to this nonsense
I pay rent but not so I have to put up with his bullshit. And I'm the only person who cleans it. It is, for all intents and purposes, mine, mine, mine, mine.

No. 729995

I hate having correct opinions on everything but not being able to form coherent sentences. Fuck you God.

No. 729997

>>729977
Aside from the ADHD part I feel like I could have wrote this a few years ago. It's actually uncanny, I'm almost wondering if you went to the same university I went to even though that's very unlikely.

No. 730003

I hate working with men on group projects because they have 0 sense of self-motivation, improvement on their work, aesthetic taste for presentation, or an understanding of what information is relevant. I am fucking CARRYING his ass to a degree and he still has the audacity to 1) shameless self identify as an incel (oh wow that feels bad man I'm a stacy keep it to yourself) 2) ask me to check all his work 3) pretend he is more busy than me even though I have TWO jobs, live in a 24/7 abusive home, and didnt have two hardworking asian parents to prop up my future qualifications, only one shitty immigrant narc mom.
Fuck men in academia they have absolutely no taste.

No. 730048

I don't have an income anymore and am forced to live with my parents again which due to covid, makes me completely dependent on them. My mother did this when I was little as well, but she just doesn't buy food for me except if it's sugar. She gets mad at me for asking what I should eat or if she would please not buy me chocolate because it's unnecessary but that instead I would appreciate to just eat regular food. I'm paying her as much as I can but I seriously am struggling to find a job and I can't keep living on Oreos and pizza and chocolate and cake lmao. Pls I just want to eat an egg or some meat… It's depressing and I just starve myself instead, but it also makes me exercise less because I have no nutrients. Her angry responses are so stressful as well that I am constantly getting sick from the pressure of my study, no income, improper nutrition, an old woman yelling at me just like when I was younger. Sorry for sounding pathetic I'm just stressed and hungry and sick in bed missing classes because my stomach and head hurt and a woman keeps yelling at me

No. 730085

I'm trying to stay healthy while everything's falling apart, and have been going out for runs for a month. I suffer from social/generalized anxiety so I usually stare at a fixed point in front of me, so I don't recognize people in the park and don't see creepy men smiling at me. Today a woman in front of me stopped me mid-track to tell me that my running form is bad "as a physical therapist". I was so mad, but I just said "umm, ok, thanks, I'll run how I can manage". I don't know how bad my running form actually is, but now all I'll think about is how people must be looking at my poor running form, and ruined it for me. I wish I lived near the woods so I could slam my feet poorly into the ground in peace.

No. 730096

I BURNT THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH EATING SOUP REEEEEEEE

No. 730103

File: 1612452672715.jpeg (37.81 KB, 600x450, 1B8B50EA-159E-4FC8-B368-27DC52…)

Having to share my screen on Zoom makes me really nervous, especially when I don’t expect to do it, because I’m always worried something weird on my computer that I don’t want people to see might randomly pop up.

No. 730105

>>730103
I'm always scared of googling because lolcow pops up in my suggested searches a lot if I'm not careful

No. 730106

Please tell me I'm not really having a conversation about "pedophilia and necrophilia are legit sexualities therefore how can you tell they're really wrong if homosexuality is accepted" with a scrote please god fucking let me work I want to strangle something how can you think like this???

No. 730112

Being called a scrote makes me wanna die and reminds me of so many things that traumatized me in my life (not really elaborating here about everything, but):

Like how when I was in middleschool I used to put bandages on my boobs because I didn't want anyone looking at them and wearing sports pants because I was deemed ugly and masculine
Or how in highschool I wore men's garments because I only had hand-me-downs from my dad and my brother
Or how in my early days of college I used to try to be so femenine and kawaii and shit which didn't go well
And then how I was almost swept away by tranny ideology but then thank god I found radical feminism and now I understand girls can be tomboyish and be okay


But being called a scrote for the 11343405730975097 time on lolcow really really really pisses me off to the point of crying

No. 730113

>>730112
anon, I say it in the kindest way possible. Please get therapy.

No. 730121

>>730112
A harsh tomboy who needs more therapy

No. 730122

>>730112
Log off, close the computer, go outside, you are acting so unwell. Literally why are you torturing yourself if someone making an offhanded comment to you an an anonymous site is making you spiral and hate yourself. Like just get off the computer.

No. 730123

File: 1612453688444.jpeg (96.42 KB, 1242x1214, 7335B24B-DD7A-4531-B497-976AED…)

I can’t do my fucking work because it’s like my brain refuses to focus on it.
I just want to be less stupid.

No. 730124

I want to kill myself I'm not a scrote.

No. 730126

Why the fuck am I so ugly and masculine for then. God just why was I born.

No. 730127

>>730124
Sounds like something a scrote would say

No. 730128

>>730124
girl stop, you legit sound like Pixyteri sperging on facebook

No. 730132

I WANT TO KILL MYSELF IM SO UGLY AND DISGUSTING AND EMOTIONAL AND MY HAIR IS A MESS. I WANT TO DIE. PLEASE KILL ME. I'm too fucking ugly I should just off myself.

No. 730135

>>730132
Girl, turn the computer off and go take a walk and clear your head jeez

No. 730136

Okay here's the deal. I still wanna cry. But. Crying is shitty. fuck that shit I'm out.

But I will go buy some icecream and sleep, cause I haven't slept since yesterday. Okay. PD: sorry I'm not a scrote. Okay bye. Thanks for listening. sorry for the sperging.

No. 730137

>>730132
Wow. You got really t r i g g e r e d that someone thought your taste in anime was trash, huh?

No. 730138

>>730137
Nah I don't mind if someone bases their take on my anime on something pausible, what pisses me off is being called a scrote for the 123'078247'75'93475357'53¿0347'5'3¿53¿583¿56783¿5'677356 time.

No. 730139

>>730138
Maybe you should cut down your internet time if you get so emotional over getting called a scrote, people are dying anon kek.

No. 730141

Also true I need therapy. Sorry everyone. I just started meds today again. Gotta go hard on the antidepressants.

No. 730143

>>730139
well i could idk die too idk

No. 730144

>>730141
Stop your samefagging is so annoying. Like at least reply to posts. Where the fuck are the mods rn

No. 730145

>>730143
Over getting called a scrote? Damn, hope those meds start working soon

No. 730146

>>730144
Sorry lmao
>>730145
yeah same wish me luck it's citalopram

No. 730153

File: 1612455429056.jpg (314.84 KB, 1080x1080, 1608270242696.jpg)

>>730146
should kick in in 2 weeks or so. please try not to kill yourself before then. I'm being serious. Maybe lay off lolcow for now

No. 730174

File: 1612458203326.png (302.41 KB, 800x1150, 1612437092-ptc20210204hr.png)

While I see no problem with cis/straight people getting made fun of, considering it is considered the "norm" in society, but I am tired of trans/gay people get up in arms whenever someone makes a joke about them.
I get it, they have gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to offensive comedy, but the moment you make even the slightest pun or joke tables are flipped.

Context of pic related: short haired guy isn't a fan of his twin sister wanting to cosplay the main character of his comic and in previous strip in pure desperation claimed he is going to get a boob job and do it himself if that's what's required to stop her. In my opinion my opinion the comic obviously reads as them making fun of the guy himself and not trans people but people are still upset in the comments.

No. 730176

File: 1612458497418.png (52.35 KB, 300x247, thumb_i-may-not-show-it-100-bu…)

I have been trying so hard to get my immunization records so I can stay in college and it feels like its all in vain. No one has them, I don't understand why. My high-school didn't have them despite the fact that I had graduated a few months ago. I keep checking the available records on my medical center's app and they only have like 3 flu shots on there and 2 recent vaccinations on there, though I still sent a letter for my records to be released in some miracle that they do have them and just dont show them for some reason. The woman i got my first few shots from retired years ago so nothing will come of that. I am currently in classes but since its online I have a little more time to get them but once the 17th hits its over. I had already put off a semester of college because of Corona and planned to start in spring like I am now but I guess all of the work I've been putting in so far is for nothing. I genuinely think my only solution is to get re-vaccinated and attend in fall. I want to fucking end it all, why is it such a messy process getting my records. When I talked to the woman from my old high-school she seemed surprised at the fact that I didn't even have a folder for my medical records.

No. 730178

I use to take citalopram and so did my ex and I never realised it was a known thing to suppress the effects of coke. So the one time my ex made me try it no wonder I didn't feel it lol, but I use to always wonder why he would skip tablets and I'd see him pop a few in a row some days and I was so dumb. It was obvious what days he was taking coke since he made a point to not take his meds and then he'd try to take 3 or 4 in a row without me noticing. I never understood I thought he was trying to get a buzz off the anti ds but they were shit.

No. 730187

It's so unprofessional when there are people have their videos on in a meeting and are clearly on their phones. People are paying money to attend this seminar and hear what you have to say. If you, as one of the presenters, are looking down and not at the screen, it looks like you don't care about the material and I lose some respect for you as a professional. It's only an hour - you can at least pretend to pay attention.

No. 730188

Guys, let her be. Take a shower, wear something nice, buy a nice meal, turn off the computer, and take deep breaths, okay? You're okay. Look into therapy

>>730141

No. 730189

File: 1612460145423.jpg (52.95 KB, 650x650, inspirobot.jpg)

>>729810
OP here, if it makes you feel like shit you should go for it. The whole plastic surgery looks fake thing is bullshit. It only looks bad if you go overboard or your surgeon is some Russian back alley butcher. ALL women in the before/afters I looked at were normal, average women who just had an unfortunate facial feature they wanted corrected. None of them were plastic Barbies afterwards.

As for people treating you like shit for getting surgery, just don't tell them. My family used to yell at me for being vain and not accepting myself for who I am (as if yelling at me would help), but even they admitted I looked pretty afterwards. Even my dad, who kept saying my old nose is beautiful, said my new nose was ten times prettier.

Just do what makes your life easier, YOLO.

No. 730202

These uhgyur camps.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-55794071

I feel so impotent. That's all I guess. I haven't thought about much else for a couple days. It reminds me of a book I read of the female accounts of the serbian bosnian war which made me feel sick for weeks.

Women are always so dehumanised by these animals. Why?

No. 730209

In all my 29 years on the planet I've never met a man I find interesting they all come in 4 categories

1. Liberal feminist with quirky style but still low key hates women. Thinks hes hot as fuck but is average looking at best but hes not as disgusting looking as the average scrote.
2. Stuck up gamer with a stick up his ass who is insecure but at the same time is angry that everyone doesnt suck his dick. Has an ego out of this world but has done nothing to deserve that.
3. Blank canvas with pretty much 0 personality. This is pretty much the best you can get from a scrote. He has 0 opinions or thoughts. Hes the easiest scrote to deal with because at least he will let you choose movies/music, wont neg you all the time and rarely gets angry because he truly doesnt give a fuck about anything.
4. Scrote who only cares about being masculine and watching sports.

No. 730212

>>730112
you're obviously not a man because no man would get this emotional over being called a scrote kek

No. 730214

>>730189
no offence but what do you expect them to say? your old nose looks better? people say the same thing to people with shitty tattoos. the moment the tattoo gets lasered off, people's real opinions come out. but you can't do that with plastic surgery.

No. 730215

>>730212
unless it's a troon

No. 730222

>>730214
I don't expect them to say anything. I didn't even ask them, and the way I'm treated now vs how I was treated when I was ugly speaks louder than anyone's comments.

No. 730223

Is it bad when you don't wanna hang out with certain people? Some of the people I have interacted with are rather nice and pleasant but for some reason, we don't really click that much. I kept my circle small but I can't help but feel like I've been too close-minded about making friends, expand my connections even more, or at least socialize.

No. 730226

>>730223
have the same issue, most people are so boring

No. 730227

Ugh my youtube page keeps recommending me the same videos over and over. Find something new, retard.

No. 730232

I get that not everyone is born with the same opportunities, but it is SO frustrating to me see people not take advantage of opportunities given to them.

I'm a tutor to middle school kids this year who are having a hard time because of COVID. I was seeing this girl who was academically behind and seems to be having family issues. However, I liked that she reached out to me for tutoring, and we seemed to be making some progress. However, out of the blue yesterday she tells me that she doesn't want to do tutoring anymore.

I guess it doesn't matter because my pay isn't affected by the number of students I tutor, but I thought I was doing something cool and meaningful at work. Just seems really frustrating for me.

No. 730237

>>730232
I don't think it means you're not doing something meaningful, but if she's having problems at home it makes sense she wouldn't feel like doing school work. Sometimes focusing on school can just feel like extra stress rather than a distraction. Doesn't have anything to do with "taking advantage of opportunities", imo.

No. 730251

>>730226

LMAO this is such a fucking cope

have you heard of that common saying that if everyone you meet is an asshole maybe YOU are the asshole? yeah, i sincerely doubt you're meeting that many boring people. hobbies, work, internet, there are so many ways you can meet people like if there really are that many boring people around you i am SO sorry anon… but maybe look at yourself(let anon vent)

No. 730267

I had a really tough life for a while but I struck gold and now I only have a few responsibilities and a decent job but I just don't want to do any of them. Every time I have to do even an iota of work I straight up feel like I'm being murdered even though I like my work.
ADHD medication is doing fuck all.
I wish some scrote would just pay for photos of the back of my hands so I could live in a NEET cave

No. 730285

File: 1612467988229.jpeg (47.08 KB, 640x640, F9B44994-3DEC-4A8D-9DA8-5CC902…)

>>729696
Mine are boxcar / indented so they literally cannot fade. I can only soften the craters a bit. Professional dermatologist procedures and / or risking making it worse with diy peel crap is my only option

No. 730294

>get a bf
>become more stressed out than before because I imagine various scenarios where I go full schizo and ruin everything
How the fuck do I stop this? Am I going to be worried about it ending for the rest of my life?

No. 730296

>>730294
Try journaling to cope with overwhelming feelings, be - reasonably - honest with your bf so you can talk things out when you get too stressed, hope in time these feelings will fade!

No. 730297

File: 1612468892485.jpg (103.53 KB, 1184x749, 1566573278936.jpg)

My sister was acting very aggressive at a vaccination spot today so much they threatened to call the cops on her. She has had almost cops called on her at an airport, a women's clinic and she has been in court for domestic violence with her ex (the dude was an asshole but still). She has young kids but I seriously worry, she has almost broken her own fingers by punching her husband and she refuses anger management classes yet goes to psychotherapy pretty regularly. It's particulary insane because no one would believe all that if they saw her, I always had to listen how I was such a wild kid, looked like trouble and all that shit yet I have never once in my life acted out like she has, especially in public. She is so much like our dad, it fucking scares me, she doesn't even see it. He was an alcoholic with narcissistic traits and possibly bipolar, I am bipolar as well but do very well with managing it, always have because I seriously do not wanna be a fucking mess. I have fought with my sis when we were younger and I know how she can get, she just goes ballistic and it's like she's possessed or something, she has tried to stab me and my mom when she was in her late teens and I had to step in, drag her in her room before our dad came home from work.
I feel like she larps this perfect mom and just because I was some unfortunate emo weeb piece of shit as a kid, I am automatically the wild and unruly one in the eyes of the rest of the family and people in general, doesn't exactly bother me but it's so crazy. Who the fuck gets constantly escorted out of places of health, the airport, the clinic and so on? That shit isn't normal, that is fucking insanity,I can't believe she tries to paint it as if they were the ones in wrong. I have lived with this image of a fight starter, the loud one and the bad kid yet I spent all my childhood defending myself, my mom or my friends yet this woman child just…does this? Sounds silly but so many goddamn years of the "hehe you are such a problem child" jokes from everyone when all I been ever doing was keeping the peace as best as I could. The only times I have instigated a physical fight has been with bullies and I just refuse to count it as same behaviour yet at some level I feel ashamed that I couldn't solve it any other way and I was a kid back then, not a goddamn adult. Been a weird day, anons.

No. 730299

I become so emotional, and honestly, jealous, seeing gorgeous children in happy homes. Children who will never know what it's like to be ugly, who were raised right, with two loving parents who let them have healthy hobbies and put them in classes to facilitate their skills and talents. Children who were healthy from the start, who painted at home, learned how to sing, had their parents take them places, cooked together; whose parents loved them, whose houses were safe. It fills me with such irrational jealousy and makes me so b(I agree, it's pathetic and I keep it to myself). Everything could have been so different if my parents just put in some effort to be good parents, if I was fed better, taught to exercise regularly, dressed normally, taught to engage in healthy hobbies that fueled my creativity. If I received adequate guidance for my potential. I hate whining like this, because I don't agree with the assumptions it makes. But, I can't deny the feelings. I can't deny how much pain I still have inside of me from my youth and how a lot of needs will forever remain unanswered.

No. 730303

>>730299
you reminded me how weird I feel about everyone fussing about the way covid affects teenagers with them being isolated, cyberbullied, more vulnerable to grooming etc. It's good that people care. I wish someone gave a fuck when I was bullied everyday, spent all my free time cutting myself and had no-one to talk to beyond my pedo 'boyfriend'.

No. 730306

in uni (online school) and i live with my parents still, and like a plumber came over to check the house – i assumed they were around my age, early twenties – and one of them wouldn't even look at me. like he was disgusted that i still live with my parents at this age.

i know it isn't a big deal but i still feel shitty

No. 730310

>>730306
what if he was shy and found you cute or some other explanation?

No. 730313

>>730306
He doesn't look at you and you think "Oh he must think it's disgusting I still live at home?"
That's a really odd assumption to make. He probably was just awkward. But even if he thought that, then he has no common sense. Completely normal to still live with your parents in your early twenties imo, especially in pandemic times and current housemarket.

No. 730328

File: 1612470790862.jpg (73.6 KB, 720x717, 5a2f0c8669857ce9671cf723337331…)

>>730299
You're not whining at all. All children deserve a happy, healthy and motivating childhood. I hope you're doing good nonnie, sending you luv

No. 730334

>>730306
?? he was probably just trying to be professional/respectful, anon. I don't mean this in a shitty way but you're definitely projecting. And if he was judging you for something so mundane, he's an asshole that you don't want looking at you anyways

No. 730337

>>730306
He probably just wanted to do his job and gtfo asap
What a retarded assumption you just made

No. 730341

>>730306
I think we must have the same brain condition anon. I torture myself with the same shit. Every cashier that serves me silently judges me

No. 730364

Someone was seriously snarky and rude with me yesterday because he saw me talking to someone else online.
He was usually mostly nice to me, but has been ignoring me since yesterday now.
Someone told me that he's probably "just jealous" and I'm like, bitch, why? We're not dating, we don't like each other like that, why the fuck would you think it's okay to behave that way?
I know I should just ignore him all together and do the "his shit, not mine", but he pissed me off.

No. 730368

I hate when fan artists make transgender versions of characters, like rcdart but there’s more than just her. It’s almost always pornographic/mpreg content and the artists clearly want to self-insert themself without creating an OC because cis straight women are sooooooo yucky and boring.

>>730306
Some people have a family member stay at the house if someone is working, to answer questions or make sure they don’t do anything they’re not supposed to. I doubt the guy had any clue you lived there unless he made his own assumption.

No. 730373

>>730306
Nah anon he probably just wanted to get it and get out. Especially with covid.
If I were a man and could get away with skipping pleasantries and small talk without being thought of as stuck up or rude, I'd fucking do it too. Most times I have nothing to say to people and I just want to do the job and then get.

No. 730375

File: 1612473768297.jpg (146.27 KB, 1200x800, 1534486918758.jpg)

The end is nigh
I'll buy a dress tonight
Maybe the last one
If you think your doctor is letting something go, get a second opinion if you still care to
You can't trust anyone
Someone with the best intentions may believe you'd be better off dead
It's funny in a cosmic way, but somehow I can't laugh
I can't cry either, I don't even feel angry
Maybe those with the best intentions were right anyway

No. 730381

>>729993
I noticed what you meant right after sending and decided to not check the thread for 10 hours haha

No. 730383

I finally made it official with my boyfriend and what do I get for it? My ex getting passive aggressive silent treatment towards me and a friend - turned - simp getting enraged on twitter over it with sporadic tweets about hating white men. I hate how I have to feel guilty for being happy.
Fuck man this is why I hide everything

No. 730385

>>730383
fuck your ex

No. 730387

Long vent coming through because I'm too afraid to talk about this in real life. I used to talk to this guy when I was 15 and he was about 21.. fucking creepy but I was severely depressed and lonely. I didn't realize how weird it was because I was a child and he would always pay or give me stuff in this game we played. I thought him talking about meeting up was normal and now that I'm thinking about it I want to throw up.. I was a child.

I left to the hospital for three days because I had to get minor surgery for something and wasn't on my phone or computer due to stress/sleeping. When I came back this freak BLEW me up and had sent me photos of my friends, sent me an entire list of their and their families names, and even being like "aha.. i know who you are, realname :)." I even got a dm from my friend from middle school asking me about why he was texting her about where I went. I don't want to know how many people he texted because she wasn't even a close friend at that time. He even made ME apologize because I didn't tell him where I went and "he thought I died and scared him." Boo fucking hoo.

I feel so stupid for having nightmares about this still. I've never talked to anyone about this and I'm never telling my friends I've found their childhood photos through this freak because I don't want to have to explain the situation. How did he get lists of my friends and their families, baby pictures of them, MY REAL FUCKING NAME? I'm pretty sure he got my family's names as well. I didn't have much social media at the time and If I did it had my nicknames and no connection to family. I'm super pissed off that I didn't report him because HE WAS IN THE MILITARY AT THE TIME but I was just too afraid. Freaks me the fuck out to this day because he's tried to contact me before especially considering I'm "legal" now. I don't know what to do now.

No. 730400

>>730387
Anon, are you me? No offense meant by that, your experience is personal and validd on its own, but I experienced something strikingly similar. It's terrible to hear that happened to you and highly understandable you are still so shocked by it. I have no valuable advice other than to encourage you in staying strong and processing the situation. Maybe you can try to hack him in some way yourself? Much luck and love, anon

No. 730406

File: 1612476156517.jpg (9.61 KB, 180x237, 2811E401-9487-4897-87C3-0D34C2…)

Sometimes when I talk to my family, we have some cool conversations, but I swear it always devolves into my mother talking about how great her life is if she never shat out me and my siblings in the first place. Tbh I’m being hyperbolic it’s not always about her, but even though I’m very self-deprecating about my own existence, for some reason her going through hazy memories and wishing to just have one child really hurt and ignited a lot of pain I’ve been willfully ignoring and I don’t know why. She’s always talking about how we don’t care about her feelings, we don’t understand anything, and how she needs to start doing things for her… but what was even stopping my mother in the first place? It’s not like she was emotionally there for us in the first place, she had plenty of opportunities to do things and now that we’re all grown she can try to do it? But no all she does is whine and moan and gets neurotic now that she’s in her 50s that she thinks she’ll never make it to a later age.

I always wondered what really was the source of questioning my existence and maybe I’ve just been internalizing her little anecdotes about wishing to change something you can’t and her own current responsibilities. I don’t even know if I’m able to repair or not, I’m just terrified.

No. 730423

>>729616
Amazing, my day was actually even more ruined than I thought was possible. I guess I'm cursed and don't even deserve to sleep well and eat without being harassed by my family for not doing their chores.

No. 730571

>>729756
I'm sorry you're going through it rn anon, you sound a lot like me at my lower points. I find myself feeling old and behind and inferior as fuck. It is INSANELY hard for me to be productive, I'm not even lazy it just takes so much for the basic willpower to see my plans and ideas through and it all piles up until it feels like too much. the way that i function has made me kinda armchair myself that i might have a mild form of adult adhd but I don't think I have enough symptoms, I think I just have my same old anxiety/ hypomanic depression brain and really bad habits and coping mechanisms. But I have honestly not had many mental breakdowns in the last year (that's saying a lot for me) and I think it's just because I got back on my meds, started being nicer to myself, stopped caring so much about people's opinions and got little tasks done one by one until most of my basic things I'd procrastinated on (doctor appointments, driver's license, car issues etc etc) were handled and when i tell you the literal WEIGHT i felt lifted off of my shoulders as I got rid of more and more stressors, it actually pisses me off thatI could have just done all this shit months and years ago and it would have been relatively easy. It's still hard to wakeup and do anything sometimes especially in a new weird covid world, but what helps me is leaning into my small support system that I know loves me unconditionally no matter how cringe and retarded i am, and catching as much negative self-talk as i can.

I know I'm fortunate because I graduated and am self employed/ saved up a huge unemployment security blanket for funds so my life has become way more low-stress low-risk, and I also benefit from the less irl social, hermit lockdown lifestyle as an infp type of person. and obv i don't know your entire situation. but if you just need someone to empathize, I'll be that person. try to pick yourself up a little if you can, do little basic tasks that double as self-care (shower, get dressed, clean your room, do an easy stress relieving hobby like drawing or yoga or whatever you're into) and be present with how much time you're wasting on stupid corners of the internet (no shade, I'm here too lol). I hope things look up for you!

No. 730642

When I was 14 the police and CPS came to my house to take us away. They weren't wrong to do so, my family situation was fucked. I sat on my bedroom floor with my back against the door, my legs straight and feet pressed against the wall directly in front of me. I was wedged in perfectly. Two cops couldn't get the door open kek so they broke down the door from above me and dragged me through it. I screamed and kicked and cried idk how else they expected me to act. I was shoved into the back of a car and was put in jail. They took my glasses and my bra and let me sit for hours until CPS came to pick me back up. It makes me so mad because there was a hospital not even a 5min drive away. Pretty sure that would have been way less fucking traumatizing if they were worried about my mental health like they claimed to be. It was a small town and the station had two cells. I was technically never arrested and maybe they were allowed to do that given the circumstances but I can't think about it without wanting to puke

No. 730645

>>730642
I just want to add to this that my friend's mom was my case worker and my friend rode along with her mom to pick me up from the station. I remember they tried to make me laugh on the drive to my foster home by playing Secret by Adam Sandler lmfao

No. 730666

>>730642
Wait, why would they take your glasses and bra? Were they afraid you would try to strangle yourself with the bra or cut yourself with the glass or something?

No. 730667

>>730645

Anon that's terrible but I kekd so hard to the Adam Sandler part.

No. 730668

>>730666
Wire in bras

No. 730676

Who remembers this duo from back in the day?
Also did you know one of them isn't actually japanese? she's american

No. 730680

>>730676
Her name is Emily Kaiho if anyone is interested. She has had nudes leaked and she has woked in some movies. But on wikipedia you won't find her name because they cover it up to make it look misterious and whatnot.

No. 730681

>>730103
I've never used zoom, but I've seen short videos of zoom classes where all the students have their webcams on as the teacher is teaching, and the students aren't doing anything on the webcam except just listening to the teacher. Why do you have to share your screen or keep a webcam of yourself open on zoom if you're not presenting your work to the teacher or class?

No. 730683

>>730681
so the teacher knows they aren’t asleep or jerking it or playing vidya instead

No. 730685

Why does japanese kpop (read: kpop made in japan by japanese girls) feel so wrong?

No. 730688

>>730683
Do teachers really not trust older students not do that? I would get anxious having my ugly face be in the entire classes field of vision, at least in a real class the people sat in front of me can't see my face all of the time.

No. 730689

>>730681
Mostly what the other anon said but also it's really off-putting to teach a class while staring at a blank screen with just initials on it instead of students faces.

No. 730691

>>730688
I've been in high school not that long ago, I wouldn't trust any of the male students not to masturbate in class either if I were them

No. 730709

>>730688
>Do teachers really not trust older students not do that?

They don't, and for good reason.

IT classes in Vocational school (16 - 20 yo) were always full of people playing games.

No. 730716

I feel like such a fucking failure for not being able to unlearn my parents hoarding patterns. I hate clutter but the security it brings by keeping people out of my space (thx supermegarape) is the only thing that allows me to sleep at night. I need to know that I’ll be aware of anyone moving any shit near me and it’s fucking out of hand. I want to get wasted and just pass out but I’m really trying to watch the drinking lol
The highlight of my week was my therapist mentioning yet again that I haven’t met bpd criteria in over a year

No. 730723

God I'm so tired of this fuckery
>living with a friend for the past few years
>our lease is due at the end of this month and we don't want to renew it since the place is in shambles and the landlord is shitty
>start looking for a bigger place since we'd like my bf to move in as well
>for the past month I've been frantically looking for a place enduring lots of shitty calls with conceited landlords who asked for the moon and back for a run-down place
>eventually find a couple nice looking apartments but we don't qualify because my friend doesn't have a stable job
>she starts acting passive-aggressive as fuck every time my bf is around
>get rejected from litteraly every place we applied to
>ask her to look for something as well, my bf and I are doing all the work while she sits on her ass playing league
>eventually she starts mentioning she wants to go back to her home country
>fine, I'll look for a place with my bf only, we can move farther from the city where there are cheaper apartments
>she gets all mad and starts screeching at me how dare I put a scrote before her
>now she's locked up in her room making passive-aggressive posts about us in social media
I honestly don't understand. There's more shit to the situation but fuck this.

No. 730724

I hate people who describe themselves as type A personalities and then humblebrag about how ambitious they are. Being type A just means that you are an obnoxious, annoying asshole. Go get therapy or something.

No. 730735

>>730723
She's either crazy as hell or crazy as hell and has a crush on you. Also,
>she gets all mad and starts screeching at me how dare I put a scrote before her
Did she actually say "scrote"?

No. 730742

My fiancé started watching Brooklyn 99 recently and holy fuck do I hate this show. The humour is so forced and immature and feels like it was written for Zoomers who can't communicate outside of memes. The worst is this is playing non stop in my home and I can't find anyone who feels similarly to me, its universal praise and I just can't understand it.

No. 730743

>>730735
I suspected the crush part but she swears to heaven and back she's straight. She never had an issue with my bf (or my exes) until now though. And she didn't say exactly the word "scrote" but something similar because we don't speak English as our first language kek.

No. 730750

Not exactly a big vent but I was awake til 5am last night thinking about depressing shit like every death I've experienced or any time I've felt abandoned.. Y'know normal bedtime thoughts lol. At least I have no work today so I can sleep in..

Postman knocks on my door at 8am. I jump up and because I sleep naked I rush to gather and put on clothes. I stumble clumsily down the stairs and realise my house keys are in the back door so head that way.. I get them but then stand there keys in hand and hear the postman slipping my parcel through the mailbox anyway. The item I ordered fit just fine. I even have a habit of only ordering shit when I know it'll fit through a mailbox because I have sleep issues and want to avoid this exact situation. After jumping up and rushing around like that there's no way I'll manage to go back to sleep. Maybe I shouldnt even order the tiniest of parcels now.

No. 730825

WHY does everyone in this house love eating sauerkraut so much, I cannot stand the smell, I want to puke. It smells bad enough on it own but when it's cooked I just AAAAAAAAAGH

No. 730857

>>730825
I had roommates before that filled the fridge with weird smelling meats like sausages and cured meats that I'm not familiar with. Everything I put in the fridge took on the smells too so I'd take my tub of spread out to butter some toast in the morning and then the smell would transfer to my hands and be hard to wash off. I think I actually lost weight living there because opening the fridge would kill my appetite.

No. 730860

>>730857
Have you ever thought about asking them to put smelly stuff in tupper ware (or anything like it)

No. 730864

>>730860
This was years ago but I never brought it up with them because they were from another country and I didn't want it to come across as me commenting on foreign food or some shit like that. Shortly after I moved in I got the message that they had an existing chip on their shoulder about people from my country. Awkward living there with them giving off hostile vibes and me trying not to do anything that could be read as ignorant. The bf (they were a couple) blew up at me one day over something so tiny and I got out of there.

No. 730877

WHY DID HE ASK ME TO UNMUTE WHEN I PEE I THOUGHT HE WAS NORMAL WHY DOES HE HAVE A PISS KINK

No. 730899

I hate that whenever I want to tell some of my issues to my mother, I also have to ask myself if I'm ready for said thing to be yelled at everybody the first time she gets angry at me. Then I don't say anything. I know she'll tell everyone to spite me. I feel alone and trapped, I can't do anything and tell anyone anything. My only friend is busy with her other friends, the only person who showed interest in me turns out to be a creep and almost a tranny drooling over lesbians. People call me when they want a favor or want to have fun and nobody else is available. If I'm gonna be alone then I want to be able to do whatever the fuck I want without people controlling and leeching off me or holding me down.

No. 730902

"First time leaving the apartment in 3 months!!feeling blessed emoji emoji, take care of yourselves,ihave been having such a hhhhhaaaaard time" bitch, what? This woman has gone to multiple parties in the last 3 months, and is now in a goddamn cafe sadposting about how she can't fit in her joggers anymore? I am so goddamn angry, why the hell do these people need to lie when they could just shut the fuck up? I am so close to posting her as personal cow but I might doxx myself, I also know this would've been more fitting in a get off chest thread but I am fucking lazy

No. 730904

File: 1612538230033.jpg (13.35 KB, 290x201, tumblr_p9dffqTF8I1u3ovnvo1_400…)

>>730857
I know how that is and I sympathize with you, at home I can't put cake in the fridge or it will taste like everything

No. 730912

I cleaned his kitchen and bedroom and he didn't even thank me. Thanked his mom, she told him it was me, and he didn't say anything to me.

No. 730913

>>730912
dump him
u
m
p

h
i
m

No. 730916

>>730912
Stop being a maid

No. 730917

>>730685
well leta starts with the name, why would you name a girl group FAKY ?!?

No. 730921

>>730917
Probably because it sounds English/foreign and cool to the Japanese?

No. 730925

>>730917
My vent is that using "?!?" always looks so fucking spergy

No. 730934

So tired of having reliving PTSD over scrotes doing the most fucking retarded shit ffs. Do they even understand what happens to the young girls they abuse for momentary pleasure? They will grow up, they will never be the same again. Why? Just wyh

No. 730945

my gf is so needy its unbearable

No. 730948

>>730877
i'd say that just to mess with someone tbh

No. 730958

File: 1612544076234.jpg (51.01 KB, 700x420, 5616.jpg)

I ordered a phone from Backmarket, it was the wrong one and they refused to send me the right one (I overpaid for the incorrect model basically and couldnt send it back because I need a phone) and it has a really old battery that lasts only a few hours and heats up to the point of burning my hands and has constant screen glitches. I fucking dropped it just now and now it wont turn on. I'm so tired of getting scammed and companies acting like nothing's wrong. I'm the same anon who got her computer shattered by UPS then ignored by them, too. I know dropping the phone is my fault but what's with companies screwing people over then ignoring them? I feel like a Karen but my shit's just constantly getting fucked up and I don't want to pay out of pocket for something that should've been guaranteed…

No. 730962

>>729959
Lol I feel the same way about Barry Lewis, only really started watching him because of Ashens. I'd never watch his videos in front of other people or recommend them despite there being nothing really wrong with them.

No. 730980

I've been freelancing for a while now as a commercial illustrator and making just barely enough to cover my half of the bills. I realize a lot of this is because I've had bad business practices, haven't specialized or worked on any of my own projects and so this year I got so gung ho about it and was really excited and pumped to change everything up.
I was basically bored with anything that didn't have to do with my business, I couldn't read or watch anything or probably even hang out with people.
That all changed when I calculated out how much our bills actually were. They were even higher than I thought, like, shockingly high to me, and everything kind of came crashing down at once. I live pretty frugally, which can be depressing, and so it hurt to know I'd have to cut back even more until I can get my business together more.
This past week or two I feel like I don't want to do anything but watch Harry Potter and go on Lolcow and drawing feels like grinding pain to me, talking to clients feels like torture. I've been sleeping too much and loving sleeping, like more than 9 hours a day.
It takes me forever to get in gear.
I feel like a shitty person.

No. 730985

thinking about how my (fraternal) twin sister exhibited several symptoms of autism as a child but it went unnoticed by everyone
>extremely quiet and shy at school, prone to meltdowns at home
>lost in imagination 24/7
>unusually smart
>strong aversion to certain textures (sensory issues)
surely if a child literally never speaks in class a teacher should say something to the parents right? I read that autism often goes unnoticed in girls, I think part of the reason why is that when a little girl is completely quiet it's seen as a good thing almost, while if a boy acted the same way my sister did (literally was always on her own and hardly initiated conversation with anyone ever - besides me) everyone would be concerned

No. 730986

I don't get paid to do two jobs yet here I am babysitting this dude whose on his last two brain cells. They'd rather have cheap workers than listen to us when we tell them there's something wrong with the psychos they make us work with.

No. 730988

File: 1612547369237.jpeg (12.42 KB, 300x250, 1571242941943.jpeg)

Hahahhahah ok cool COOL nice to see the dude who was such a fucking cunt, obsessive and abusive thriving in the fashion industry, just fucking peachy. I wanna fucking off myself, karma isn't real and I am so ashamed to be this sick, in the place I am but I also know he is way more privileged in every way but man it hurts. I am so fucking angry.

No. 731031

I'm coming to realise that my view of things has been heavily clouded lately. I genuinely believed all my friends were conspiring against me. I genuinely believed all the nurses were part of a cover up. I believed my family had abandoned me, but in the cold light of day, looking back, none of those things were true. This is a pattern and it plays out constantly. I wish I could just see things clearly and maybe then I wouldn't be so alone but every time it just feels safer to isolate myself because I feel like everyone is turning on me. What's wrong with me.

No. 731051

>>730980
You're not a shitty person, you're just exhausted. Freelancing is insanely hard to do, you can be proud of you for just taking that challenge. In time it should get easier.

No. 731055

the majority of YouTube podcasts with guests are terrible. They have zero guest etiquette and constantly talk over their guest immediately after asking a question and go off on stupid, unrelated tangents or have to make it about them.

No. 731093

>>731055
Any in particular that you want to shame?

I've started listening to a couple of newer ones since covid kicked off and I'm realising now that after spending one or two hours listening there's often no topic or I would struggle to remember much of what was said. Like they may be keeping it a lil too casual there.

No. 731110

Having to interact with others is always agonizing. It's not that I dislike them as individuals (I'm actually a softie and like most), but the effort and time needed to maintain relationships is the worst.

I hate having to email professors. I hate messaging my friends. I hate seeing people I know in public. I hate group work at uni. I hate that I have to make social media profiles in order to do distance work with them. I hate when my friends try to get me to meet their other friends. I doubly hate when they don't because it means they must truly me disgusted by me. But I also hate when my friends like me.

I need to be left alone. Interacting is hurtful and upsetting and exhausting no matter what is going on.

I wish I wasn't like this. The rare days I feel positively ruin it for me every other day because then I end up with friends and activities when 90% of the time I dislike friends and activities. Only being anon is okay anymore.

No. 731123

Everyone else in the world makes perfect life decisions they are completely happy with and never regret except me

No. 731132

My fiancé's ex wife is an immature parasite and I'm sick of her shit. This woman is a bit over ten years older than me and yet she doesn't have her shit together in the slightest. Yet she's rewarded for it in a way because she makes herself out to be such a victim to the point that people feel so bad that they enable her. She's a legit crazy too and was super enmeshed in my relationship until I blocked her and laid down the law. She said a lot of BPD shit like my fiancé is her "only and best friend" and other delusional shit while implying I must be poisoning the well because he doesn't handle her with kid gloves anymore.

Well, the whole reason why she's even still tied to us is that she's on their old apartment's long-term lease and there's no way to break out of it. She certainly can't afford to break it. So he's stuck paying his half of rent until the lease expires even though he doesn't live there anymore.
She hit him up today demanding money for utilities…utilities that he doesn't use cause he doesn't live there anymore. When he called that out she guilt tripped and said it was so she could afford food. Even though he paid a bit more in rent for her last month because she needed money for an abortion after she got pregnant from the married man she's having an affair with. He never asked her for her half of the lawyer fees from the divorce even though she said she'd pay that too. She never did either.

She's also made other ridiculous demands like he teach her how to drive, because she's 40 and can't drive and doesn't have a car. Not that she needs one as she lives in a city center and works a mile away. Idgaf, she can pay and go to a driving school like I had to. She also demanded that I take in their malsocialized second cat that she doesn't want because "she can't afford two cats." I put my foot down and made up an excuse about pet dander because I frankly don't want to take care and clean up after a cat who will be scared of me and never love me. She just doesn't want to do the work to find her cat a new home or be the asshole taking her cat to a shelter, so why not dump it on me so the cat becomes my problem? Ugh.

She's a cashier at a grocery store that predictably doesn't pay dick, but she does have a wedding photography business on the side. My fiancé tells me she can make decent bank from doing a single wedding but 1. She's too lazy and procrastinates too much to have frequent clients and 2. She can't drive and doesn't want to pay anyone for their time to drive her. So because of her laziness and ineptitude, she's rewarded by having an entire apartment to herself and having most bills paid for her. It's really messed up and I'm tired of her womanchild antics.

No. 731151

File: 1612561203205.jpg (11.36 KB, 312x296, w9NORXB.jpg)

I posted about my hair loss in the previous thread >>723922 I got my blood test results. I have anaemia and D3 deficiency, but the worst thing is that my DHT is high, higher than it should be. I don't have any extra hair on my body yet, but I had other symptoms like irregular periods. Maybe I have PCOS or adrenal gland problem, I don't know. I should make an appointment with endocrinologist but I'm too depressed right now. I don't want to be bald and even uglier than I am now, I can't take it

No. 731172

>>731151
Hey anon, I was one of the ones who mentioned anaemia in the last thread. You're allowed to grieve and panic but when you've had a cry and a hot drink, maybe a sleep, try to remember that your deficiencies are probably contributing a lot more to your hair loss than your DHT if you have no other symptoms. Wait to speak to your endo and take the correct supplements in the meantime and remember it'll take a couple of months to see a difference.
Balding is a pretty advanced symptom of untreated PCOS. Even if it is PCOS, that can be managed and treated and it's really great you can catch it now before you get any irreversible symptoms like neck hair. You're gonna be okay anon, for sure. What helped me pull through before they treated me was looking up female hair thinning on YouTube, because there are some really young women dealing with it and demonstrating how they deal with it day to day. The attached video is from one of my favourite YouTubers who makes lots of vids on the subject. Let us know how you get on.

No. 731173

i'm so fucking worried. my brother is homeless and it's going to freeze during the next couple of days..

No. 731208

>>731132

> She's a cashier at a grocery store that predictably doesn't pay dick, but she does have a wedding photography business on the side


Is she… Heather_Explores?

No. 731210

>>729527
that sucks, i would seriously doubt anyone's communication abilities if they insist on doing that..
recently, i had a male professor in college who would use "she" in every example he used, positive as well as negative. it was kind of nice.

No. 731221

>>731208
Nope. Looking up who that is, at least she actually seems to produce content, and it's morbid stuff that I might have taken a shining to her for. So I wish.
Nah, my fiancé's ex is boring and I can tell she hates/is competitive with other women which explains why she has no real friends. She flunked out of the fashion industry because she didn't want to have to communicate with other women. So now she's a cashier who flings artsy side hustle shit to the wall to see what sticks. Right now it's photography, but barely. She's begging us to give her money so clearly it must not be working out for her. Which is ridiculous because according to my fiancé she'd get paid $3k per gig which is a pretty nice wad of dough if she had the gumption to work.

No. 731226

>>731173
So take him in ?

No. 731228

I'm starting to think something is legitimately wrong with me that makes me incapable of socializing. I have no irl friends and I've been trying to chat in various discords but ultimately I just get too nervous and I can tell nobody likes me so I end up going silent. I don't think it's autism but I feel like nothing comes out of my mouth the way it sounds in my head

No. 731230

>>731228
>nothing comes out of my mouth the way it sounds in my head
I hate this so much about myself. Hang in there anon.

No. 731239

>>731172
Thank you anon! I will watch her vidoes and I will try to get myself together. I know those deficiencies are my fault because my diet has been shit for years (I'm an autist and sometimes I literally forget to eat, I'm also a picky eater and there was no things like meat and eggs in my diet). I'm gonna work hard on this now, make a dietary plan etc. I guess that whole situation gave me a reality check. I made an appointment for wednesday

No. 731256

>>731226
NTA but it can be impossible to find your homeless loved ones. It’s not like they have working cell phones 24/7 if ever. It’s not like the have an address…

No. 731304

Sometimes I don’t understand myself, I’m either a total cheapstake or spending stupid amounts of money. I just impulse bought a hat for $40 and I don’t even know if it would fit me

No. 731306

i'm too scared to play an mmo i like a lot again because I seem to die often and i feel like i'm just pissing off anyone that happens to be in my party. sometimes i'll go back and redo a dungeon and i'll live and feel good again until i go to a new one and just die. i hate that i'm terribly at everything i do. i guess i should just stick to games i can only play alone so i don't upset anyone, just sucks because i've invested a lot of money in this game and i really liked it but i don't want to make other peoples experiences bad because of me

No. 731311

>>731304
I just spent $300 on a dress because anons were talking about a different dress from the same designer being ugly, so there's that.

No. 731320

My dad is watching this horrible scrote comedian who's making jokes about sexual assault. "women seem to think that sexual assault is a uniquely female thing…. well I got sexually assaulted!" in a hysterical female voice, "this is my story! I need to live my truth!"
Apparently a woman flicked the head of his dick and his first instinct was to nearly punch her in the back of the head? He's not funny, always screaming and swearing. Weird as fuck, fuck scrotes

No. 731355

i armchair myself too much but i just found out that Executive Dysfunction is a thing and idk what that would mean for me or if it ties into/ points to another mental illness but i genuinely think I have it, every single detail is exactly what I've always struggled with and it's a big part of why i'm such a huge loser. too bad i don't have the insurance to go get evaluated, not sure what to even do with this info except be annoyingly hyperaware of my tendencies to be awful at accomplishing tasks and focusing

No. 731367

>>731355
Lol “executive dysfunction” isn’t a diagnosis, it’s a symptom and it basically just means you’re disorganized, inattentive and bad at decision making, at least from what I’ve gathered. Basically all mental illnesses mess with your “executive functioning”, it’s the non-emotional symptom of mental illness.

No. 731376

File: 1612581264738.jpg (30.31 KB, 490x479, f1f4a9e4b6dd228b7dce5d650d6890…)

>>731367
oh ok well that makes sense given my, yknow…

No. 731380

I want to die, and it's not fair I got this life where I'm so privileged compared to most of the world and I don't even want it. I had so much potential and opportunities others don't have and I'm constantly throwing it all away being a lazy mentally ill bitch. Someone else should have my life

No. 731407

>>731380

Is this me..? I feel like this all the time. I hate that I know that I don't have the right to complain because of how privileged my life is compared to other people and yet I still want to kms. Damn this is the first time I read something that felt like I wrote it.

No. 731409

I am disabled and live in the hardest state to get disability in. I can barely do anything anymore. I want to die.

No. 731425

>>731376
Lol I’m sorry, that sounded super bitchy, I wasn’t totally getting your post.
But yeah, being dysfunctional is the worst symptom of mental illness for me, and it’s probably because it perpetuates the cycle. You feel like shit because you didn’t accomplish anything and the next time you go to do a task either your nerves are so messed up you can’t focus or you’re so depressed you can’t get up.
I don’t know what it is for you, but I thought I had ADD for a long time, many people typed me as a manic pixie ADHD girl. But I I got diagnosed with general anxiety with some add and depression symptoms (so just an anxiety diagnosis, not an ADD or depression diagnosis)
Everything all of a sudden clicked into place and made perfect sense, jr was life changing.
Therapy is expensive but your insurance might cover it. Medicaid covers it fully, If you have that.

No. 731433

>>731425
haha it's fine I didn't take it as bitchy, my brain is fried af today

i've had depression since i was a teen and my anxiety is more of a symptom of that depending on how serotonin-depleted or stressed i am. for the last couple years I was convinced that i actually had bipolar type II because of all the hypomania ups and downs, but now that i'm learning about adult adhd I'm confused and it could honestly be either one or just me having a more unhinged depression as opposed to the stereotypical constantly dead inside type. but when I think of adhd I think of my younger cousin who had it his whole life and was so different from me and off the walls as a kid. I've heard it manifests way differently in girls but who knows, I don't care about having a diagnosis as a label for everything so much as I just want to function and live a happier life as much as I can manage. I'm doing pretty well lately actually, the only symptom that's been bad is the dysfunction especially because I really wanna be productive and creative this year. I'm looking into doing a cheaper form of therapy like a non-sketchy betterhelp or telehealth until I can get back on some kind of insurance plan (i just aged out of my family's plan lol) but I won't like die without it atm, I have a good support system.

No. 731628

i hate eating, the act of eating is fucking disgusting. it's neanderthal behaviour. why do we need to eat? i hate it so much. if i could just never ever eat again and remain healthy, i'd do it in a heartbeat. eating makes me puke, it's so hard to make food go down my throat. torture.

No. 731633

>>731628
Have you tried meal replacements like soylent/huel? The only problem is it tastes really gross.

No. 731637

>>731633
there aren't any solid meal replacements available here and i don't trust them tbh. i used to enjoy eating but after getting forced into giving a bj, it just turned me off food forever, kinda weird right? i can't even bear the smell of food. i just suck it up and eat, but i mostly make shakes which are more tolerable.

No. 731638

>>731628
Personally, the Neanderthal behaviours I would like to get rid of are pissing and shitting. It's dirty and inconvenient with absolutely no upsides. Wouldn't it be better if we produced no bodily waste

No. 731639

>>731638
pooping is great, you feel so light and fresh afterwards

No. 731642

>>731639
Similarly, I hear people also like pissing because it makes them feel "relieved". That's not an upside for me, I'd rather not have anything to relieve in the first place.

No. 731644

>>731638
I agree about abolishing pooping but I would miss pissing. Unless we develop a culture which sees taking time out as essential, just like pissing.

No. 731650

>>731644
I personally feel fine with peeing and pooping so idk what you guys are going through, but may I ask why you would specifically miss peeing?

No. 731651

>>731638
but how will I excuse myself so I can cry in the comforting privacy of the bathroom stall

No. 731655

>>731650
>idk what you guys are going through
Anon that wants to abolish pee and poo here - I have diabetes insipidus, that's why I hate peeing so much and don't feel the relief. I hate poop by association, another reason to go to the bathroom, as if I'm not there enough already.

No. 731662

File: 1612612282057.jpg (19.6 KB, 608x342, mood.jpg)

I don't get it why I never got a birthday fundraiser at work. The company has a culture of making these (employee initiative ofc, not higher-ups), I've participated in plenty over the course of 4 years there; I'm friendly with people, they are aware I have birthday because latest years (except for covid year ofc) I'd always bring something nice for everyone to eat, yet somehow no one has ever cared enough to get me something. I guess it's a stupid thing to rant about but I've just seen some coworker that has been only working remotely for like half a year, so never met majority of people even, post on her social media photo of the gift she got from people at work and I guess I'm envious. TF I'm doing wrong?

No. 731665

girl i know made a poll for things to be included in her online shop (she's selling hair accessories) and there's this one person that only answered 'no' in one of them and she's bitching about it so fucking bad she made instagram stories about it, one is a picture of the 'no' with everyone's identity, included the person, hidden and also a meme template to express it. Even going as far to make a rant video for some reason.

Like, bitch chill, you were asking for an opinion if what kind of things should be in your shop and 99% of the percent of the people that answered had said yes to all of them and now you're angry at one negative review?

but i guess this is the effect of being spoiled in her life and never getting the answer 'no.' when she was young. she's really milky, afaik after her nanny talked about it with us, and has been coddled by her parents so bad that the said nanny has to standby her classroom and wait for all of her classes to end (and this is when she was in junior and senior in highschool in some expensive and prestige university.)

No. 731666

>>731665
So many people just set themselves up to be disappointed lol, its entertaining to witness. if she didn't want to be told no, she shouldn't have given the option to choose it.

No. 731667

>>731650
Ayrt, I would miss having a physical reason for taking a few minutes out. As I said if doing that was normalised and seen as essential, then it would make no difference. But right now I like having a socially acceptable reason to take a break at work or when socialising (at least in pre-COVID times). Pooping would be a better excuse as it takes more time, but it’s not socially accepted to talk about and I and most people find it much more disgusting than peeing.

That being said, I’d pay for a bladder enlargement so I didn’t have to pee so much lol.

No. 731669

>>731666

she prob thought nobody would say no to her or smth, i can never know. at least it's good to know that my dad wouldn't compare me to her anymore. she's really smart but her personality behind closed doors is nasty, no wonder her nanny just spills out her frustrations to us when they came to visit. i guess the nanny was surrounded by people blinded by the persona she displays and her parents just accepts her tantrums

No. 731671

I'm so fucking done with everyone lately. Friends and family always talking about themselves and how much harder they have it than others. No one fucking cares, it's not a competition. Shut up and do something instead of whining about it endlessly. Everyone's got it hard, you think forcing others to listen to you sperging is gonna help anyone?

No. 731681

>>731667
Not to brag, but I had to have a bladder scan recently and I found out I can hold 818ml of water in my bladder before I feel even the faintest urge to urinate.

No. 731688

>>731681
I want a bladder scan

No. 731694

>>731226
he's mentally ill(psychotic) and doesn't want any help. he would never stay with his parents because he thinks they're evil, and my living space is too small for any more people. he "needs" to stay in the city he's in because of the church there, it's part of his delusions.
but thanks for the advice.

No. 731709

For years I've had signs that I'm likely reacting to a sexual assault in my past. I found myself wondering if something happened in my childhood and was repressed. With lots of feelings and no solid memory.. I just got on with life assuming it's dramatic for me to even entertain that idea. Ive had intimacy issues ruin two serious relationships. I feel like I'm going to either die alone or spend my life having partners resent me.
 
I was reading the mtf thread today which I rarely do. I happened to have it open when my internet totally crapped out so with that page loaded already I read it for once. One of the posts was someone saying they were assaulted by an mtf in a toilet stall. It's certainly not a scenario I've never read about before but fuck did it suddenly bring back a memory when I read it.

When I was 19 I got involved in a kink scene in my city. I had been a painfully shy teen so didn't get out much but I was drawn to a particular club night I saw advertised. It was a bdsm/kink night hosted in a venue that was used for concerts the rest of the month. People wore fetish gear or lingerie and apart from that it was just a normal club night. Some months people held after parties at their houses and that was where the action happened. Rules at the club were pretty much 'dress kinky but save the actual kink for afterwards' You weren't allowed to just fuck there and they were always worried about the venue dropping them so the 'absolutely no heavy touching' rule was enforced. 

Because the space was usually used for concerts, it had a small backroom and shower space that was usually there for a band to use. It was left open on these club nights and some people would head there to chill away from the loud music. One month that I was there a man in drag (lingerie style) approached me talking about how amazing I looked and ushering me from the back room towards its shower room. It was pretty hard to hear people so this ushering to a quiet space thing.. Was usually just people wanting to chat. 

I will never understand why I didn't kick into gear sooner but in literal seconds this guy pulls out an already fully erect dick slipping a condom on and just pulling me in. Full on dry latex forcing into me and not wanting to go in because I was that dry and taken off guard and disgusted. As I relive the memory now my head is just screaming dry. So fucking dry. Dry latex, no warning, no spit, no loosening up from my muscles. Probably less than a minute of this ordeal before my brain comes up with the plan to just casually announce "OK I'm heading back out to the music" ?? I'm surprised he didn't insist I get him to the finish point but then he's lucky enough I was playing off stabbing pain insertion as not an assault to shout about.

There it is, the incident that lines up with the beginning of my aversion to penetration starting. Not a childhood memory, an adult one that I still managed to shove away for 13 years.

No. 731720

>>731709

if it's in a consolation on the overwhelming majority of people who think they have repressed memories don't it's actually a myth in psychology that is probably one of the most harmful ones. Although in your case you might have something going on there but honestly I wouldn't rack your brain too hard about it because sometimes we just don't like things because we don't like things.

I'm sorry that happened to you though but I'm glad the MTF thread helped you remember so you can get help

No. 731722

I lost my job for a bullshit reason and I'm disabled and unable to work in normie fields for this reason. Im an artist and the platform I was using to sell is unlike any other so there's no way I'll be making the same level of money.

I have expensive meds and scripts. I got student loans and a lot of outstanding medical debt. I feel like I lost (almost) everything.

Im scared anons…

No. 731724

>>731681
Anon you made me have to google the average bladder capacity and its 400-500ml so you have a bladder capacity thats literally double the size of the average human being. Im mad jelly

No. 731727

>>731724
If it makes you feel better, I'm absolutely riddled with UTIs as a result (D mannose saved my life though for any anons with the same problem).

No. 731796

>>731681
Wow anon, that’s crazy. Currently waiting to get my capacity tested but from keeping a bladder diary I get really uncomfortable around 200ml. How long do you generally go without peeing? What’s your record? sorry if this is weird lol, I’m fascinated

No. 731800

>>731055
I've tried to listen to the Official podcast lately but Kaya is just so fucking annoying, so I don't think I'll listen to it any more

No. 731824

>>731800
Haven't tuned in a while but damn Kaya could be really unpleasant to listen to

No. 731829

i’ve been feeling increasingly miserable because of covid and then, when i innocently message my mom trying to help her with something, she yelled at me for bothering her when she wakes up and for not knowing something.
i thought this exchange would be positive and instead i feel like i just got my birthday cake slapped out of my hands.

No. 731886

Out of all the annoying oc-making dipshits on the internet, you have to be the worst of them all. Not only are your characters overpowered as shit for no good reason, they're the most obvious self-inserts I've ever seen, which I would tolerate if you were like 14 but you're in your mid twenties. Grow the fuck up and stop making shitty deviantart tier ocs to fuck every canon cock in sight, stop having temper tantrums every time someone doesn't feel like giving into your every bratty demand, and stop fucking trying to control everyone around you. People only tolerate you because you're the festering carbuncle that is attached to otherwise decent people that are too nice/too naive to know that you're better off ignored to death.
I feel sorry for the people that're close to you both online and irl, they should get fucking medals for having to put up with your manipulative narc temper tantrums, screaming and whining and crying like you're a toddler. Or maybe not, because maybe if they left your ugly ass earlier you might wake up and realise how much of a horrible person you actually are. Just kidding, I know narcs like you always find some well-meaning sap to leech off of. You're only good at being a lolcow for the people around you because you're fun to laugh at and talk shit about.

No. 731896

I really don’t like eating in front of people, except when it comes to family meals. (Family meals are fine because everyone is eating) -Or even preparing a snack or something for myself, if someone else is in the kitchen I won’t bother. I know realistically that nobody gives a shit about what I eat, but I just feel sick at the thought of someone looking at me taking food and thinking to themselves how fat and greedy and selfish I am.
Even if I eat in my room, one of my family members will just waltz in and announce how ‘it smells like -insert food I’m eating- in here’ and I feel revolted with myself, like they’re catching me eating secretly. Even though I’m just eating my lunch within my allotted calories, in my own time. It’s so stupid, I KNOW it’s stupid, but the intrusive thoughts just pop up and I don’t know how to stop them.

So I’ve been counting my calories recently and I was weighing the last bit of a food out at dinner, and I generally asked my family if anyone else wanted anymore or if I could just have the rest, and my dad piped up with ‘No it’s fine, you can just take it, if you want to be greedy that is!’
I know it was a joke, but my mood just went so low. Later on I asked if red pepper had calories in it (enough that I would have to include it in my calorie count yadda yadda) and once-a-fucking-gain, my dad starts joking about pepper being a spice and girls should just have spices so they don’t gain any weight (he was referencing girls being made of sugar and spice? Or something)
Like I know it’s all stupid jokes, but I can’t even tell him that the comments he makes bother me because he just retorts with my being too sensitive.

I just finished dinner and went to my room and am just sitting here, feeling pissed off at him and at myself for letting him get to me. Pissed at myself for feeling this way about fucking food.

No. 731915

i get so fucken pissed off when i have to pay for retarded ass shit with my fucken money. fucken retarded ass brother keeps refilling my moms medication that she doesn't even fucken eat and i keep having to pay for that bullshit whenever they deliver that crap. and my fucken stupid ass mom who constantly bitches about not believing in western medication and doctors keep bitching about how it's all bullshit and bitch about having to pay for her goddamn fucken medication she doesn't take. yet she insist on going to her fucken appointments just to fucken lie to the doctor that she fucken takes her medication. what is the fucken point?!

No. 731934

>>731638
my thing I would want to get rid of is sleeping. Like i love the feeling of it and having my crazy fever dreams but imagine having eight more hours in the day??? nut

No. 731949

>>731886
this has copypasta energy

No. 731983

>>731886
>tfw you still make these types of ocs

No. 732058

I'm so fucking pissed off about this for some reason but last night I heard some guy sperging out from the apartment complex next to mine and as an avid consumer of gossip and people watching I ran to the window as usual. i'm like 90% sure he was yelling at these two little chubby mexican boys, maybe middle school age at the most, who regularly hang out on their skateboards on the other side of the street. our complexes face a bunch of random warehouses/ autopart businesses so sound kinda echoes over there but kids playing is the least annoying street sound out of all the things you could lose it over (fireworks, losers doing donuts and riding loud ass motorbikes, cats in heat, methheads etcetc) and that's coming from someone with an autistic level of misophonia. didn't catch the whole rant but he straight up said something like "NEXT TIME YOU DO THIS I'M CALLING THE COPS. I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE, I WON'T HESITATE TO SMACK YOU"

like dude just put on some noise canceling headphones if it truly triggers you that much instead of making it about you ffs. imagine threatening physical violence on actual children like that, imagine calling the COPS on them? wtf are the police going to do, there's no rules against 'loitering' by those businesses and the street is technically residential as well you can't possibly be mad that kids are playing in their own neighborhood. you should be glad about it, they could be getting into bad/ dumb shit but instead they're doing something fun and harmless. i wonder if he sperged out about it on nextdoor as well, i didn't get to see what he looked like cuz it was dusk/ post-sunset dark out but he absolutely gives off that unhinged neighbor who cares too much about the neighborhood energy

No. 732067

>>731896
I'm the same way anon, it sucks so much how offhand comments about food can stick with you and make you never want to eat ever again.

No. 732068

>>731915
did you just learn the word fuck

No. 732074

I am pretty depressed and feeling lost so forgive the dramatics and anger but I am so annoyed at everyone around me. I lost my grandparents and mother about a year ago, and while my grandparents were old and sick, my mother was found very decomposed and it was all very awful. I was already battling with physical and mental illness and then there was a policeman at my door giving me the news and my friend didn’t even reply back to me, I had no one to call and I felt so unreal, everything still does. My mother wasn’t a good person and we were never gonna be best friends but I wasn’t even over losing my only grandparents when she died, but the slight maybe of eventually her cleaning up her act was just snatched away. I didn’t tell anyone except for a few close friends and kept all my social media normal as an escape way but even after explaining my friends that it was a way for me to not be seen as some pathetic pos, they seem to think it just means I am fully okay.
I am so far from okay, I keep thinking the policeman is coming over again, every missed call is another one of my mother’s drinking buddies trying to reach me, my grandparents are still sick and I need to visit but can’t and so on. I know grieving is a lengthy and odd processes and I have been neglecting it due to my own issues because I just don’t have the goddamn strenght to handle the physical and mental issues right now, even though I am trying my best. How the hell can these people think I am okay? Yes, I can joke around, I didn’t have public meltdowns, didn’t call anyone crying but that was mostly due to me not having the time nor anyone to do that to around. This is a fucking bummer and I have seen other anons with similar situations to mine, I wish I could help you guys out or you could help me but I think we all just need to ride it out organically, it’s okay to not be okay and all that jazz. I feel so damn sick, I keep waking up and forgetting everything, the deaths, the pandemic, me being sick for a few minutes until it all hits me at once and it sucks every time. It’s actually almost hilarious because I do seem like a very mellow and the class clown type of person but every shit cloud or something.

No. 732107

lesbian dating is bleak

No. 732111

>>732107
why can't lesbians who are trying to date/flirt be filled with the same cocksure nonsense that scrotes get whenever they get a sniff of vagina.
why can we not communicate the nuances of complimenting a qtp2ts choice of shorts.
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee why is it so tough.

No. 732121

>>732111
I'm mad at the sparseness

No. 732122

Sometimes my parents start debating my relationships, the type of men I should date if I should fall in love or not and they always talk so much about my virginity, with who should I lose it how long in the relationship I should lose it how I should lose it and I feel so disgusted and objectified. I don't feel like I own my body. Hate living in a 3rd world country. Anyway buying a toy rn

No. 732127

>>732122
that's terrible anon. I'm sorry they're retarded and think your virginity and future isn't truly yours.

No. 732129

>>732068
i’m here to vent about shit. let me vent how i fucken want jfc. can’t even vent without people being a bitch about it.

No. 732132

I'm in a vicious cycle of depression and I don't know how to cope with it. It feels like I enjoy nothing anymore, and anything I used to enjoy has been corrupted or replaced with something I find absolutely frustrating.
I don't know if that's how everyone feels, but it's a dirty, disgusting feeling every time I try to read a forum, play a video game, or even use a chat room. I don't know how to deal with it.

No. 732177

>>732074
I’m really genuinely sorry you’re going through this anon. Please don’t apologize for the “dramatics”, I think it would do you good to drive to a canyon and scream at the top of your lungs. What you’re going through is my own personal nightmare that I recite in my head quite often… as I’m sure it’s a lot of people’s, everyone’s worried about their parents and grandparents right now. The fact that she was found the way she was and that you may have never gotten closure from her not being a “perfect” mom really adds to it, I think what you went through could really be considered traumatic. I think you should open up more about this now so it doesn’t have lasting effects later, whether it be on lolcow or to a therapist or your friends. It sounds like you need your loved ones to know that you’re suffering, but it’s really hard to come out and say it, especially if they aren’t offering and if you’ve often been the strong one in your relationships. I don’t want to tell you what to do or give you advice because I know you are trying your absolute damndest, but even as a stranger I worry and hurt for you buddy. Your friends may not be offering your sympathy because theh are trying to “Play it by ear” and aren’t sure if you want to open up or not. If they were smart they would say “if you need someone to talk to then I’m here” and say it often, but no one understands reallly how or why we react to grief the way we do, and everyone reacts so differently. They’re probably being very cautious with you (or at least I hope so).
I really am sorry for your loss.

No. 732185

>>732177
When I could move around easily by car in the summer, I did just go and wander a bit, in a therapeutic way but now as it is winter, I cannot really go out safely by myself so it's kind of a limbo, as it is for many right now. I do try my best to handle and process stuff even though I made it sound like I have completely blocked everything out but it must look completely foreign to outsiders as grief is never like what you see in the movies so even I kind of think I haven't done any of it, if that makes sense? Thank you anon, I wasn't expecting a reply and I assure you that I am relatively okay, just very numb yet angry today.

No. 732205

>>732185
Thank you for the reply, too.
I'm glad to hear that you're taking it one day at a time and trying to process things. I still think it would be good to just let your friends know what you told us tonight, (if they don't know). I'm not saying that because I know what's best for you, I don't, and I've never gone through anything as seriously devastating and world-changing as losing three loves ones at once, but I know that I am the type of person who has a really really hard time opening up to people and letting them know I'm hurting. Even just letting out a little "I'm kind of having a hard time right now", letting them reply, and then saying "thanks for letting me get that out, I don't want to talk more about it but I'm glad I could say that" can be a real relief. Just having other people be aware that I'm hurting makes me feel better, because it feels like such a charade to act like I'm fine when I'm not, and it takes up energy that I could be using to process my negative feelings. I wish you the absolute best of luck, and I don't know you but I'll be thinking about you.

No. 732206

I wish I wasn't flat as a board. Yesterday I went to the beach with my best friend. She has big boobs while being thin so she was turning heads everywhere. I felt kinda bad about it but whatever, then we meet a group of people and I overheard two guys whispering to each other "look at the difference" while looking at us. I almost broke down crying.

No. 732213

>>732206
Eh, if it makes you feel any better I kind of wish I was flat chested. I by no means have huge boobs, I'm like a 34B, but sometimes I'll wear a sports bra to flatten them out because it for some reason just looks better with my figure I think.
Also if I was flat chested I wouldn't have tha booooob saaaaag

No. 732215

>>732206
>>732206
Samefag but also that's super fucking gross what those guys said, don't pay them any mind they're fuckingg the worst kind of scrotes and they shouldn't have been so goddamn openly oggling your chests like wtf

No. 732221

>>732206
>look at the difference
Fucking gross moids, you’re beautiful, anon, those retards would fuck a hole full of ants if they could and they would say that Danny devito on a swimsuit is hot if they’re horny enough, which wouldn’t be much.
Don’t pay attention to their useless, meaningless words, I assure you that you look amazing.

No. 732226

>>732206
I swear I've seen this exact same post on here before in fifteen different variations.

No. 732228

>>732206
the guys who did that to you have micropenises and will die alone and unloved. don't let them get to you, all boobs are good boobs

No. 732229

>>732215
I wish I was strong and didn't care, but the truth is that I do and every time something like this happens I get super depressed.

No. 732235

>>732226
i'm getting sus that this is boob job larper scrote fag again from the other thread. sorry if you are actually a girl anon.
Guys need to shut the fuck up about titties. They're really fucking great, whatever size and shape they are and they're way better than sweaty painful hairy balls, and you don't get to have them scrotes, so just go light yourself on fire and trip and fall into a ditch. fuck you forever you ugly POSs

No. 732237

>>732235
Nta, but….why would balls be painful???

No. 732241

File: 1612671102119.jpeg (47.29 KB, 400x500, 6F96FF41-0F5B-46A1-9722-80E7DF…)

this is a stupid vent but i’m annoyed that i can’t fit into the ~aesthetic~ i want to. the way i’m build and the way my face looks places me in the sexy curvy med girl category but i want to be skinny waif cassie from skins!!! stupid but i wish i could just be that. even when i’m at a lower weight it doesn’t work.

No. 732243

>>732235
They're fickle little meaty meatballs in a literal sack of flesh, they're sensitive as fuck and if they get pulled the wrong way it feels like getting kicked in the stomach. Apparently.
Like just the thought of having a sack of skin anywhere on my body, that could get caught in things is horrifying. Its not like a labia, its like way bigger and can stretch.
but you would KNOW THAT WOULDN'T YOU scrote

No. 732245

>>732241
Ugh, everyone wants to be gamine. Including me. At least all alt girls I see kind of love the gamine aesthetic.
I remember being super sad I couldn't pull of lolita at all because I'm like "dramatic classic" and have a long-ish face. I realized that that uwu cute aeshetic also didn't fit my personality in the slightest and its probably a goood thing I don't look like I could wear it

No. 732247

>>732235
>>732243

Both of you are typing like you have stage 3 dementia. Eat your tapioca, grandma.

No. 732249

I sat down with my stepdad today to show him the result of mine and my boyfriend's engagement ring consultation. We already have the diamond, so we were shopping for bands to mount it on. Long story short, we are likely going to go the custom route and one of the craftsmen at the boutique gave us a 3D render of my stone with the custom band, similar to a ring I tried on and took a picture of.

My stepdad just had nothing much to say to me. I mean I expected a 'congratulations' at least but instead
>"So this is serious?"
>"Well the ring is very nice."
>"Are you going to allow you know who to be a part of this process? It's one of the greatest things about being a mother to be a part of her daughter's wedding…"

The latter referring to my mom who I cut off after years of narcissistic abuse. They divorced because he resented her enough to cheat on her at one point, yet even now he still enables her and capes for her. It's the strangest dynamic I've ever seen.
I haven't spoken more than a dozen words to her in two years. I really don't want her at my wedding, I want to actually relax and be myself. She wouldn't enjoy it anyway, she's a staunch Catholic who's going to pearl-clutch over my heathenistic handfasting and secular overtones. She's going to insist on a bunch of proprietary bullshit neither me nor my boyfriend want because the second I involve her, it's about her image too. I don't need her bullshit.

Why did he have to make it about her? Why does everything I do have to revolve around my mom and her fucking feelings?

No. 732254

My knee has been killing me for the last couple years. Every few weeks I’ll get an almost unbearable pressure under my kneecap and I have no idea why. I just want to sleep.

No. 732292

one of my internet friends from before contacted me and have been using me as some sort of counselor whenever he gets depress about life. it's annoying. i stopped talking to him because all he bitch about years ago was that he was too much of a nice guy and an intellectual and that's why girls don't like him since they prefer assholes that used them. he also like gore anime cause its too deep than mainstream anime, ew.

well, years later, he hasn't changed… i guess but like more aware of his own mentality but still hasn't improved a chunk of it to be honest. he now targets or gets too close with girls who he knows have mental issues like anxiety or depression in hopes to be the love interest that's going to change them to be better or smth. he's telling me that he regrets it all cause the girl he's in love with is, uh, crazy or smth. idk, he insults her but flaunts about his crush on her. its annoying to conclude to be honest. i have always made me replies short and curt and i guess he picked up my tone that i wasn't interested in being his listening ear for his shet anymore.

while he's gone, i still have to deal with a neet that's 'unmotivated' to get a job and do something with his life, he's in mid to late 20s and has been using me, from time to time, rarely at this point, as a lightning rod of his woes. good thing, he realize that avoiding challenges and staying in his comfort zone has made him left behind while his friends, scrotes usually, have went on to do something, a job or a relationship. i've been showing hints that it's his fault for being stuck and that being 'unmotivated' is just an excuse for his laziness.

ghad, it's a good thing i am slowly cutting ties with these two.

No. 732297

I wish I wasn't such a coward when it comes to discussing my controversial opinions. Today a friend and I were hanging out and eventually she started to talk about how much she hated terfs, and I didn't have the guts to tell her that I actually support a decent amount of radfem ideologies. I just sat silently while she ranted, she probably noticed that I wasn't openly agreeing with her but didn't confront me about it. I feel silly, we're both adults and I should be able to stand my ground and state my beliefs. But I knew it'd cause a fight and might end our friendship so I just kept my mouth shut.

I hate it. I hate that I'm scared to express certain opinions, I hate that I care what people think of me, I hate that I make myself pretend to stick to the status quo. I want to be a writer but I know that if I were to ever openly criticized libfems I'd just probably damage my career and get "canceled". This vent is dumb but I'm just tired of only feeling comfortable speaking my mind when I'm anonymous.

No. 732326

Don't judge me for this but, I posted about my internet crush a couple days ago, and I wanted to interact with her, but I'm starting to realize we may not have that much in common. So far, what I know about her interests are
>radfem
>into musicals and mostly consumes gay tv shows and movies
>either majoring or minoring in criminology/sociology
>very passionate about helping lgbt youth and has held events about it
>and some other stuff
I literally don't know anything about any of this. I could get into the musicals and movies cause her fav movies are ones I already wanted to watch, and I know I would love musicals, but becoming friends with her might be hard. What is it about me that would make her like me besides art? I should stop being such a pussy and psyching myself out of this. It's literally just the internet. Just interact with her, damn it.

No. 732333

I don't know what the drama surrounding Yami Yagato is but she pulled all of her porny audios from YouTube and I'm so upset. She did the only decent "ASMRs" of my favourite characters on the entirety of YouTube. Does anybody know where they're archived or can they recommend other VAs who do erotic audios?

No. 732337

File: 1612683869594.jpg (2.8 MB, 2412x4000, 1612680566939.jpg)

>>732333
Does she do Ash Ketchum audios?

No. 732339

For a site where it's used so often, a lot of anons on here really don't know when to acknowledge that someone is using hyperbole.

No. 732340

>>732337
Don't tease me, I was horny and we didn't have the internet
Komaeda and Hinata audios, if anybody has them pls I'm desperate

No. 732342

>>732333
Didn't a lot of YouTubers take their NSFW audio stuff down after YouTube started to ban accounts for that? At least, that's what happened on the Japanese side…

No. 732344

>>732342
She was going strong, fairly big following, but suddenly she pulled everything and turned off her comments. Her last video got something like 5,000 dislikes to 15,000 likes so I assume something cracked off.

No. 732347

I can't stop thinking about that Japanese tweet I saw the other day about when you notice you're not an otaku/nerd anymore. With a list about how you progressively stop going to cons, and games and anime keep piling up and you just stop caring about new releases so you just watch and play things you already like.

No. 732361

>>732337

KEK

>>732347

Post tweet

No. 732380

>>732333
apparently she had sexual conversations with a minor and gave them nsfw audio
https://twitter.com/yagamiyatoconf1/status/1356300312349470721

No. 732382

>>732380
Did the minor approach her for these things or was it a random minor?

No. 732387

>>732347
I feel that, I wish I still liked anime as much as I used to tbh. It's not high brow or anything but the more hobbies/passions the better imo so I always feel bad when I lose interest in things. Plus I still kinda think of it as part of my identity so I feel like a fraud.

No. 732406

>>732382
seems like the minor approached her for sfw audio but yami seeped nsfw stuff in. but the screencaps in the other tweets looks like they sort of agreed to it? idk

No. 732440

I'm a physiotherapy student in my first year, and I'm hating studying MSK. The way that my uni has handled this module is so bad. Every other module is wonderful and I don't have an issue, but this one is making me so upset. We need to memorise so many pathologies (which I understand), but the way they have presented the content is overwhelming. They give us lectures that are several hours long and expect us to be able to disseminate and diagnose and come up with extensive treatment plans for case studies within a week of watching them.

Online tutorials are shit because we're mixed, and I feel like they're tailored more towards the MSc students who've already got a degree, given that we have less tutorials than face-to-face students. They put us into break-out groups very frequently, which doesn't help if you're unlucky to be mixed with people who don't talk at all. The last tutorial we had, the guy running it seemed really ticked off when there was a lot of dead-air, probably because a lot of us don't understand. One of my friends on the course was also in tears and feels like she doesn't know anything.

I've been crying while typing up my notes, and this shit is seriously making me never want to work in MSK. I'm so scared for when I go on placement.

No. 732466

A teachermoid here was arrested for buying horrific cp in the Philippines after he showed a colleague a picture of one of the girls and said she was the last one he bought before he left. The actual retardation and degenerate brainrot of moids never fail to surprise me.

No. 732469

File: 1612695159333.png (599.49 KB, 600x750, f09.png)

God I found an artist on Instagram today who is a year younger than me and much, much better at art. I'm a senior in art school and she only does art for fun and is getting an engineering degree. I wasted my money on a useless degree and I'm still worse than someone with a lucrative degree who does art for fun. I want to fucking kill myself. Art is the only thing I'm good at and I suck more than a younger hobbyist.

I'm ugly, my art is mediocre, I live with my parents, I'm lazy, I have no job, I'm a virgin. I'm absolutely worthless with nothing to contribute to humanity. People with so much less have accomplished so much more than me at a younger age. What the fuck is even the point of existing if I'm just a useless NPC.

No. 732481

>>732469
Samefag but this silver spoon bitch goes to Cornell, where most students parents make more than 150k a year. Yeah, I bet it's easy to be fucking perfect at everything when mommy and daddy can hire you tutors and you never have to worry about money. Fucking bitch acts like her accomplishments are all the products of effort. No you fucking spoiled brat, everything's easier for you because of your rich parents. I hate that being born into wealth is easy mode.

But no one takes that into account. They just see this fucking prodigy and assume that if you're not engineering-artist prodigy at 21 you're a loser. I'm so jealous and I fucking hate her. I wish I knew what aspects of her life suck so I could feel better.

What the fuck is wrong with me. I know these aren't healthy things to think and feel about a total stranger. Why do I do this to myself. Why can't I stop comparing myself to people to the point that it makes me hate them irrationally like this. She didn't do anything wrong, I'm just a cunt. I'm sorry anons, I know I'm fucking unhinged.

No. 732485

>>732469
>>732481
I understand you anon, both sadness and anger; there's so many skilled young people now on the art scene it's very very hard to go easy on yourself even when you know where is the difference in skill coming from, and that age really doesn't matter. Something i'd advise is to lurk less, do a complete detox from looking at others art, few times you do it you should already notice caring a bit less. Also art degree is not useless! I hope you can find it in you to just enjoy art again and get better at your own pace, without looking back at others. Also art degree is not as useless as people meme it to be.

No. 732486

>>732481
DW anon It’s normal to feel jealous and envious of others. It’s hard not to compare yourself to others. I’ve definitely felt that way about others in the past. Everyone has, they just don’t admit it.

No. 732487

>>732485
That's good advice anon, thanks. I really need to stop focusing so much on age, wealth, etc. I'm only 22, and I should be more thankful for the opportunities I do have.

No. 732488

This may be some grade-A dumbass shit, but I bang my head into the wall like a retard whenever I feel a wave of depression hit me. This depression is out of left field; before this I was living the life. I was reasonably happy, well-adjusted, I could sleep when I needed to. Now I have constant nightmares while asleep, and panic attacks while awake. I thought getting a PTSD diagnosis would suddenly make things make sense, and thus I'd get better, but it's the same. I hate acting like this. I'm delusional. I think everyone's out to hurt me.

I helped my brother move into his apartment last week, and his manlet roommate smiled at me. Then, I had to go out to have a panic attack in the car. I wasn't even scared of all men before and now I am? What the hell? I'm angry at my brain because I feel personally, that I'm very rational, but my brain wants to go all lizard mode. Now I got a therapist and she says to try Reiki. What the hell is Reiki, and why would that help? Maybe I should have little faith, but I'm pissed off at my lizard brain, and at my pseudoscience-loving therapist.

I write strong woman this, strong woman that–but I'm weak. Physically and emotionally. I just want to be better. I won't knock reiki before I try it, and I respect that it works for some people, but I might have to get a therapist who actually believes in science to get better…

No. 732503

>>732488
Reiki is bs

It's clear you have some unsolved issues that you're kind of projecting although its always better to be wary of scrotes than trusting of scrotes but I swear to God just get a new therapist who doesn't believe in snake oils

No. 732518

File: 1612699236362.jpg (49.6 KB, 520x520, 234e4ea51f1061baa94ebfb5f56c18…)

idk how to put this, but I can't imagine how amazing it would be to touch a man I'm actually attracted to. I'm so jealous of women who are close with men they find attractive. Most men are physically repulsing, literally every male I ever talked to in my life was neutral at best or repulsive at worst, I've been truly attracted only to some actors, and most of them weren't even conventionally attractive (so I don't think my standards are THAT high), they were still masculine, fit, well groomed and sexy though. When I think about touching some of the men I see on the street I want to die from disgust. I'm a virgin and I don't socialize at all, so I know I'm not even giving myself an opportunity to meet some men, but I feel like I would never have a chance with someone I find attractive, also I'm not "high value" enough for a HVM man, and I'm too autistic to hold a conversation anyway. Sometimes I'm so fucking horny I feel like I can't take it anymore. I wish I could feel someone else's warmth, I wish I knew what it's like to be hold by a man. But I will never be desperate enough to fuck an ugly scrote, even if he was rich.

No. 732520

>>732518

Based gaynon

No. 732523

My boyfriends ex started dating his best friend. So all my boyfriends "friends" hangout with her and she even is still on his moms posts and his friends try getting us to hang out with her and the friend that crossed him. They even hang out with his family. Anywayyys. We really want to distance ourselves from all that but I feel like she's doing this on purpose and it's made my bf just want to find totally new friends. There was a post our mutual friend shared saying like "your ex stupid as hell for losing you" that she reacted and I feel like she's doing all these things to be spiteful. I don't know if I should just remove all his old friends on fb? But I dont want to be like reactive but its also just like… I don't want to feel like were the target of their jokes or be exposed to them all the time. If that makes sense. I feel like im crazy or being made out to be crazy cause i think its just gross on her part and the friends part and my bf and i just aren't gonna be all buddy buddy still ya know? I'm just trying to handle this gracefully I guess and keep my peace.

No. 732524

>>732520
How can I be gay when I can masturbate 4 times a day thinking about a male actor? I wish I was gay though

No. 732525

>>732524

Im sorry i missed that if you wrote it. Honestly irl men are disappointing and being single fapping is better trust me

No. 732537

>>732518
dang i feel that, literally any man i've been with before i had to like condition myself to be attracted to them. which i only did because i was so desperate to just date and feel love/have sex. my current boyfriend is the only guy i've ever genuinely felt instant attraction to without knowing any parts of his personality first. like before that there might've been like one or two actors i found hot but that was it. idk, men just are disappointing creatures. glad you have the dignity to not fuck uglies though anon, good luck on finding a man who you actually find attractive.

No. 732548

>>732518
Holy shit anon, are you me? So many men are so ugly it makes me sick to look at them. I'm not high value either so it's frustrating. Doesn't help that in my case I tend to thirst over twinks who tend to go ugly after like 25.
I'm bi, but women aren't much better. More attractive on average? Yes, but the majority that I'm attracted to are extremely submissive and clingy. Very off-putting, especially as I'm not a dominant type of woman and I don't care for a relationship right now.

No. 732558

>>732518
Same, my standards are so so low but even when I get with an ugly guy they feel entitled to me after a few months and think they're on the same level as me looks-wise when they get comfortable.

I'm not super high value either (my autism is powerful), but I'm sure as hell better than some balding, tubby uggo who barely showers.

No. 732564

>>732558
>>732548
>>732518
>>732537
Where's the lie anons, I'm feeling understood. It's so rare for a man to be visually appealing, and even in these super rare cases they are, they turn out to have some personality trait that puts them back in the ugly category. Truly tragic.

No. 732573

im so tired and dont have the energy to finish my classes right now, its to the point im considering asking my professors for a week off. i have to balance work aswell.

i've had two family members die just this week of corona and im really worried that once the greif really hits me i will hit the wall and fail school. im sick of this shit, im sick of fuckers in my class posting themselves partying weekly and patting themselves on the back for NOTHING. every time i see one of my retard classmates i cant help but think about how their reckless bs is literally getting people killed. i don't wanna get burn out but its really nearing that point if i don't take a fucking break from this, keeping calm while hearing people talk about the parties they've been to sucks. i know i sound like a bitter looser, but i wish they would atleast not gloat about partying during a pandemic.

No. 732576

File: 1612706035295.jpg (32.61 KB, 1213x623, Screenshot_8.jpg)

I'm tired. I go through these cycles where I'm in child mode/self-indulgence mode, I shit on my responsibilities, I shit on my friends and social interactions in general, turn off my phone, stop reading my emails, stop reading the news and I exist solely in my little cozy bubble of video games, Youtube videos, daydreams and other low-effort activities until someone or something makes me confront with reality (the piled up unwashed dishes start to stink or I have to venture in the dreaded outside world to buy food or something). Then I switch into adult mode, answer the unanswered messages, emails, talk to friends, wash the dishes, wash my hair, work out, apply for jobs, go on interviews, etc. Then comes the first cycle again and everything falls apart. I don't know how to stop this. I'm not depressed, I just truly truly hate reality and responsibilites and being an adult.
I can't imagine ever being comfortable in reality.
Sometimes genuine desires pop up. Like, I want to start drawing again. I want to learn how to play the piano. I want to have a different career. But these would require making real effort. I don't want to exist like this. I hate this double life for fucks sake

No. 732577

>>732573
You have every reason to take a week off, if not more. I'm so sorry for your loss, it's so frustrating to see people not give a fuck.
Seriously, take a break and go easy on yourself anon. You need it.

No. 732582

File: 1612706967401.jpeg (41.71 KB, 622x489, EsreDoXXYAIZVNs.jpeg)

My bf was addicted to porn the whole time we've been together and it's totally mentally destroying me.
He confessed his love to me a few months ago. I found his porno account to check the dates and saw he watched porn not even a day later.

I feel like an absolute cuck queen. I have literal fucking flashbacks, and for a week i could eat. I don't know if I can make this work. The feelings won't go away.

Help me

No. 732583

>>732582
Confront him, ultimately this is an addiction, if he'd be willing to confront and get over it for you, maybe you can consider giving him a chance. Otherwise, why suffer?

No. 732584

>>732583
I did and he has quit (though you can never 100% verify).
It feels like I've been cheated on, like, even if he stops the affair does that make the pain ever go away?

No. 732587

>>732584
Some people would be able to move on, some not. Give yourself a little more time, see how you feel then; even though it's not physical cheating you have every right to feel like you do, and if it doesn't change, break up with him. There are men out there who don't watch porn, so you're not stuck with that guy for sure.

No. 732601

>>732582
Gross. I know a lot of people will probably say you're insecure or whatever, but I think it's absolutely disgusting men will say they love a woman and then go around and fantasize and jerk off while looking at someone else. I mean hell, when I'm not in a relationship I look at perfect qt 2D guys all the time. But when I'm with someone they're the only one I can look at. Why would I have it any other way? Why settle for someone who makes you feel unloved?

>>732584
How did he react when you told him to quit? Did he seem genuinely remorseful or just regretful that you caught him? I'd say if time passes and you still can't deal with it you should just leave. Like anon said, even though it doesn't seem like it, there are lots of men who don't feel the desire to ogle and jerk off to other women constantly.

No. 732609

File: 1612710300832.jpeg (27.79 KB, 499x399, 31373671-B8F5-4A88-80E5-D715BF…)

i am literally going fucking insane because of university like i can’t keep doing this but i’m X amount of months away from graduation and i can’t drop out now but i am so close to the fucking edge i don’t know what to do. i’ve exhausted all options. the support staff in my school and my fucking dissertation supervisor arent emailing me even though they said they would last month multiple times. i’ve gone through disability services, i can’t get an appointment with the doctor and i’m terrified of them anyway. there’s zero support available for me through the school and i’d have to compete against another thousand students alone to get a shitty appointment. i don’t know what to do!!! i cannot keep doing this but i’m going to have to because i have no other options. and even then i’m going to graduate into a fucking dead job market with next to no skills compared to most other people and no job experience but i cant just do a panic masters because i will end up killing myself. i cant talk to my friends about this because they all graduated with firsts last year because their universities were doing as much as they could to coddle them and make sure their grades were as high as possible (must be nice) and i cannot be fucking bothered with them pretending to get it. i cant even talk to my own mother because i know she’ll do the usual ‘well you’re stupid, you should never have gone to uni, i don’t know why you don’t just drop out and move back home, this is your fault’. i’m going fucking crazy like i just really can’t do this anymore hehe i don’t know what to do!!!

No. 732621

>>732601
>I mean hell, when I'm not in a relationship I look at perfect qt 2D guys all the time. But when I'm with someone they're the only one I can look at.
ngl That's sick anon. I'm not going to give up my fictional anime husbandos for any scrote.

No. 732626

File: 1612711650509.png (568.4 KB, 804x1342, Screen Shot 2021-02-06 at 8.49…)

I found this old screenshot of a text from my ex bf yesterday while looking for something else and it really hit me hard. I felt constantly gaslit because for 3 years he was extremely stoic and gentle 99% of the time, but if I got on his nerves he'd snap and tell me how insufferable I am. I really hope he was the one in the wrong, I hope I'm not really this bad.

He once said to me "nobody is ever going to love you as much as you hate yourself." And I think that's going to haunt me until the grave

No. 732627

>>732609
I hate to say "I went through the same thing" but I did and I still don't know if I should have just taken that semester off and willingly flunked out or pressed on. I just pressed on by the skin of my teeth and the good graces of my teachers for letting me pass with some bullshit half assed projects. I'm kind of glad I did becuase if I would have skipped I don't know if I would have completed my degree because life wasn't getting any easier, but I also made kind of an embarrassment out of myself because I was such a visible mess.
Its perfectly reasonable that you would be feeling this way, and a lot of people do, but especially now because you're facing life after college and it happens to be during covid times.
I can't really tell you what would be right for you, but I can tell you to try not to sweat it so much. Its not your fault if you can't get a job after college considering we're in a pandemic, it takes most people at least some length of time before they do anyway, and don't be hard on yourself if you even flunk out unwillingly. Just let it go man. Just develop a nihilist view on it because in the end you're really stressing about something thats only temporary, as horrible as it feels.
Something really annoying about this was that my teachers noticed how bad I was doing and just chocked it up to "senioritis". I hated that because it was really demeaning but it was honestly the truth. There was a ton of other things going on in my personal life that were really shitty but nothing was worse than the thought of completing school and facing the job market afterwards, and they knew and understood because they had seen it so many times before and had probably experienced it themselves.
The fact you're this concerned shows that you're going to be fine, even though it doesn't feel like it you're internally facing your problems right now. Even if you skip class and you're being avoidant like that, internally you're realizing that things aren't going well and you're facing it and that's something to be proud of and know that you are a well functioning person.

No. 732628

>>732621
Yeah, and that's fine. I believe only women can look at that without it rotting their brain. I was just saying that as an example.

No. 732631

>>732582
I see a lot of girls have a problem with this and I only half understand it.
I think they feel like the guy is masturbating specifically to the girls in the porno, which I don't necessarily think is true. If he happens to be watching the same girl/same porn repeatedly than I would feel really hurt. But…..when I look at porn I'm not paying attention to the porn stars really hardly at all, I'm more just focusing on the sex act itself, and so I kind of assume guys are the same way.
I've been a total pickme all my life until now though so maybe just take my words with a grain of salt.
On another note, if you are really offended by him looking at other women's bodies I think you should remind yourself that you're a lot more than a body to him. Women in porn really aren't replicating you at all. Also, when me and a lot of other people get in that puppy love stage we kind of look at porn a lot because we'll be thinking about our crush or s/o and just kind of want to get off. I wish I could get off to just the thought of my s/o but yeah porn kind of rots your brain into not being able to and its significantly easier with it either way.

No. 732632

>>732631
Samefag, but I had a friend that couldn't quite get over this and was a big contributing factor to her unhappiness in an 8 year relationship and part of the reason she broke up with him. Everyone draws the line differently, if its a big "no" for you then break up with him because its kind of hard for someone who looked at porn their whole life to stop looking at it. Its just such an easy thing to gain access to and such a low commitment, its just popping open the site on your phone and whacking it for ten minutes, its not like cheating where you essentially need to live a double life and plan the whole thing out. Its also not likely someone would stop because in our minds its not a big deal and its not cheating, so there's just a major disagreement about the morality of it and the porn-watcher might think "im not really doing anything wrong so if they don't know then its not a big deal". They don't want to hurt you but they don't really see anything wrong with doing it so they just won't do it in front of you.

No. 732639

>>732627
thank you anon, you're really kind and this is exactly the kind of big sis pep talk i've been needing. every part of what you said is exactly how i'm feeling - if i drop out i really don't know if i'll come back and i'll be in debt for nothing, but i'm also sick of half-arsing things and embarrassing myself and generally coming across as a melodramatic idiot. i am also at this weird halfway point between constant anxiety attacks and not feeling anything - objectively, i know that i'm only turning 22 next month, this is an undergraduate BA degree, i can do a masters, i'll be fine, i am not defined by my perfectly fine, relatively above-average university grades. at the same time though i cannot stop comparing myself against people who have had a better chance at succeeding than myself and equating every single bit of my self worth against the fact i've been trying to achieve a first for four years and still haven't succeeded. it's stupid and embarrassing and annoying, but i'm just really going to have to push myself to finish regardless of whatever my final grades are and try and force myself to disconnect from my own insecurities in the next few months. it's just so fucking hard and it SUCKS more than anything.

thank you again for replying to me though. this might be a bit sad but it was genuinely like a nice hug to just read something like that from somebody who could really truly empathise with exactly what i'm going through and tell me that it's going to be okay ♥

No. 732645

my gf's and friends' lives are really draining me emotionally. i hate to use the term emotional labor but that's just what it is.

it's not mentions of rape, murder, death, etc. in passing but everyday long, serious conversations and updates on long term events. it is very triggering but there's nothing i can really do bc i can't stop being there for my friends and gf

No. 732647

File: 1612713658633.jpg (98.69 KB, 640x866, 1472811069068.jpg)

>>732639
please stop comparing yourself to other people, it never helps, I have done it for the past 7 years and it makes you so mentally ill. Some of the most retarded people, with the most retarded ideas receive the most praise so it's not even like they are examples of people doing the right thing, and most of the time you wouldn't even want to be doing the things they're doing anyway.

No. 732657

I'm moving in with a friend in 2 months and I'm realizing I have a huge crush on them. Hoping I'm just making an idealized person up in my head and once we are living together the crush is put to an end. Dating them is out of the question.

No. 732662

>>732657
>Dating them is out of the question
Why?

No. 732667

File: 1612716950487.jpeg (38.43 KB, 788x759, 906D1F7F-4C07-4EB2-BF2F-948E8F…)

for the past three days i've had three different dreams where my dad and i kill people. my dad died 10 years ago. in the dreams i never see other family members and it's always in a different setting. but i keep dreaming i'm with my dad and we kill two people. don't know who they are.

i've always had confusing dreams about him. a few years back, i had recurring nightmares. where he would be with me (again no other family members). and then he'll say: "i'll meet you at…" then some random place i know. but when i get there, i cant find him and i dont know what to do. then i wake up and remember he's dead.

weirdest shit was that a few weeks before he died i had two nightmares of him dying. and my sister did too. but we never mentioned it to each other till a year ago cause it was weird. in the first nightmare i find him dead. in the next one i'm digging a grave for him. then he dies in real life.

strangest one for is the next. last year i had my first and only psychosis episode. i don't know what triggered it but i insist this doesn't happen to me regularly. i had nightmares every night. and they were all about a demon following me. and i was having paranoia hallucinations the whole thing. but what was weird, in the last nightmare i had, it ended with me finding my dad. i asked him a very personal question. he responds. i start crying and i wake up. then the episode ends? like, i stop having nightmares? right after i dream about finding him? as if he protected me or something? as if it was related to him. i know it wasnt, but i want to believe anons….

now i'm dreaming of killing these two strangers with him. i wonder if something is coming, i'm paranoid of these dreams now… the nightmares about him come and go, i'll have a few of them per year. it's not a regular thing. but whenever they start i feel like freaky shit happens

No. 732668

>>732662
A couple of reasons. I shouldn't be dating at all because my life is kind of a mess right now, dating my roommate seems like a recipe for disaster, dating them would also make it awkward for multiple of my mutual friends. It's not in the cards.

No. 732669

>>732582
>>732631
Hello to both anons,as an ex pick-me with a ex porn addicted gamer bf groomer i want to say with all the fury in my heart DUMP HIM men do not see porn like us they do not just see the pp in the vag sexytime they get obsessed and even crush on these pornstars follow them everywhere they can,basically a parasocial relationship and yes they do compare u to this women.Im sorry but is the truth.

Why are u destroying ur mental health for this dumbass? i have been on full male groups and they literally talk about porn out of nowhere they shit talk gfs/exs because they were not "enthusiastic like the pornos". idk im ESL and my brain is fried rn i would like to resume a lot of experiences with male pornaddicts but i dunno if im using the right words.Love yourself more anon is really not worth it i can assure you.

No. 732737

I'm so angry because I'm on a student visa studying but lockdown has prevented me from getting a job and since I can't get public funds and I'm not a native student, I don't think my Uni is going to be able to help me either.
I just want a job, I've sent so many applications, ffs I've been applying for toilet cleaning jobs just to try something.
I've run out of money and my tuition installment is due.
I want to fucking scream and cry, fuck covid and people who keep putting us back in lockdown because they can't stop violating rules.

No. 732766

File: 1612725434996.gif (939.48 KB, 356x200, 200 (1).gif)

>me trying to join some ring shaming groups bc I wanna see some people with shit taste and ugly ass jewelry

No. 732772

>>732576
I think I'm experiencing what you are experiencing…I'll have a chat with my therapist.

No. 732779

>>732631
Original anon.
I have actually tried to masturbate to things that aren't him and I find it impossible. I can't do pictures or imagination. My mind just goes to him because I love him and only want him.
I just feel mindbroken, because this entire time I assumed his love was like mine. Knowing he spent over a year jerking off to other women almost every other day feels like I have been betrayed.

No. 732781

I hate how there's this fucking song stuck in my head right now,it's no ordinary song but a song from an 80's porn anime I use to watch when I was literally 11 or 12 years old (yeah I was fucked up I really regret watching it)why do I still remember it,whyyy.

No. 732787

friend of mine is one of the most self centered people I've ever met and she seems completely unaware of it lol

No. 732790

>>732576
Me too anon. Sometimes I wake up and I just want to watch stuff and play games and not talk to anyone. I go days without looking at my phone. I don't even want to eat at times, I'd just like to stay in bed and feel nice. I genuinely want to experience things, learn new stuff and go places, but I realize that I can't and I just daydream and distract myself as much as possible. I think it's just extreme escapism from our realities.

No. 732813

>>732781
I understand exactly how you feel I used to play NewGround porn dress up games when I was 7 so when ever I listen to this song I remember a very specific game and all I feel is guilt

No. 732814

>>732779
you are conflating lust with love, men are coomers and to them the correlation doesn't exist. men don't see it as cheating because the woman on screen is just a means to an end.
in their minds it's a simple as "i am horny, therefore i will masturbate to whatever is available online for a quick dopamine hit"

No. 732815

File: 1612730520902.jpeg (19.22 KB, 275x204, 7D7FBFC6-5EEF-4271-9AA8-1C5606…)

I’ve been living in a state of abject misery ever since i was 15. Sounds edgy but Igenuinely despise everything my life is. I’m not suicidal because I still have the stupid hope that things will get better but I’m genuinely in pain from how miserable and monotonous my life has been for so long.

No. 732818

File: 1612731968378.jpg (77.44 KB, 981x553, C2Du2Q0WgAAIC71.jpg)

My heart and pucci clenches every day for my 2d husbando and it hurts knowing I will never have this feeling for someone real

No. 732821

I am weepy, I feel like a stranger in my own room, I feel tight and numb in my face, I'm paranoid, am getting chills, and I don't know what to do. I have been off my mood stabilizer for around 3-4 weeks and I want to get back on it but it costs so much all of a sudden which is why I didn't pick it up. I'm so scared, I just want this feeling to stop. My heart's not racing, but my body feels fake and I'm sick of crying about nothing or things that flit by in my head.

No. 732824

File: 1612732775130.webm (1.47 MB, 720x720, tumblr_qnwvcxmV2u1wny5ms_720.w…)

>>732815
Same here. All we can do is try to make our life better little by little. We can do this nonny, our life is in our hands
video unrelated -its cute-

No. 732826

>>732821
So sorry you can't get your meds, anon. Can you do some grounding exercises, list things you can physically touch, how they feel, what can you actually taste, hear and smell. I know it's scary and nothing can feel actual, and real but you can calm it down a little bit.

No. 732827

>tfw you're an ugly awkward loser but suddenly males you know show an interest in you and are messaging you flirtariously
ahahh they do know im an ugly dweeb, right..? I have experience with people pretending to like me for the lulz btw and this doesnt seem like it. They also dont know each other. I've just been responding normally until now but they are becoming more and more blunt about it and i dont know what to say, I still kind of fear theyre pretending because of a bet or something. ah…

No. 732832

>>732814
No, pornography consumption becomes an addiction. Jerking off to other women is not a biological requirement. Men have gone on for most of human history without isn't any access to hardcore porn and supernormal stimuli.
If he feels a need to coom there was no reason he couldn't come to me. I was always willing. Even if I wasn't there is no need to jerk off 3 times a day.

No. 732836

>>732824
nta but your video is adorable, made my day

No. 732837

File: 1612733545099.webm (1.83 MB, 576x1024, tumblr_qnp5njvfCf1z0aknq.webm)

>>732832
How can I stop being addicted to porn? I'm serious. Video unrelated

No. 732840

>>732837
Easypeasymethod.org

No. 732845

File: 1612733917876.jpg (63.25 KB, 739x739, original (1).jpg)

Just came back from /meta/ to look at the final award results for 2020. Even though farmers have tried to explain it, I really don't get what's interesting about Shayna and her camwhore drama. I remember trying to read through her threads 1-2 years ago and mostly I just felt embarrassed catching glimpses of her pussy and her awkward porn.

Whenever lolcows go into porn I just can't anymore. Can't read Momokun threads anymore because she's super embarrassing, when Luna Slater posts porn it's horror tier. The last thing I ever wanted was to see these cringey people nude and doing shit to themselves.

No. 732850

I came back to not feel any excitement about anything again. I don't feel anything special for doing something, not even the things that used to make me happy. I want to go back to writting and art, but there's nothing that gives me motivation to do any of those things, I'm just not enjoying anything. I have been working, only because that has to be done soon and my family will get mad at me for not finishing it, but I seriously just want to leave this place.

I might keep waiting for my crush on Discord to do anything interesting with me, he is the only person who gives me fun, but I am begining to fear that he would leave me. All the guys I have liked always do.

No. 732853

>>732626
It's one thing to explode about the fact that you were draining him emotionally or whatever but he intentionally wanted to hurt your feelings with this message. Please tell me you gave this faggot a one-word response.

No. 732857

>>732626
I hope you're living a better life and have surrounded yourself with better people to have proven him wrong.

No. 732858

My leg hurts so much and I've noticed that whenever I post about my pains, they tend to fuck off shortly after! In so much pain! Stop! I have been so good to you lately!

No. 732861

>>732845

not trying to sound rude. but what threads do you enjoy anon?

i personally like shayna threads because she's really dumb and vapid. half of it is the porn yes, but the other half is just seeing her oversharing or making up shit which i find entertaining. i also like luna threads. that's why i'm wondering what you like since i'm the opposite lol.

No. 732866

File: 1612735172765.gif (875.81 KB, 320x320, dance.gif)

>>732861
I do like Luna's current squatter saga (hoping Lurch gets the book thrown at him soon), but whenever she revs up the porn I have to peace out for a good few weeks until it dies down again and her daddy wired her some more money. It's too low even for her broke junkie ass, her lewds were just as crusty as I anticipated.

Non-porn threads are alright with me, but I just can't stand when they start to dip in that territory cause that's when I nope out. Camgirls and ethots tend to be out of the question.

No. 732876

>>732626
>your low self-esteem is depressing, why are you so miserable?
>allow me to describe all your faults and how worthless you are in detail
Basically.

He sounds like a piece of shit so don’t take his opinion seriously.

No. 732882

>>732626
I have experience with men like this. They're typically emotionally immature, mental teenagers themselves who project their own insecurity and inability to deal with real life on others. Unless you did something absolutely horrendous, there is rarely anything that excuses this behaviour. If he didn't apologise, didn't cool off, then it is even more likely it's on him. I hope you have grown since then and that you find better people who help you grow. Fuck him.

No. 732889

>>732626
I legitimately don't want to be the asshole to say this but this sounds like a break-up text I would've sent to my BPD-ridden ex after splitting on me for the last time. I might be biased due to this fact but I was forced to be overly stoic and gentle with her because she blew up at me for the smallest reasons and never shut up about how ugly she felt and how miserable she is. I hope you've gotten help for yourself anon.

No. 732895

>>732626
purely on the way this man texts alone i just KNOW he's insufferable. imagine talking to another person like this and being okay with it. literally unless you have a severe personality disorder or you're abusive or something there is no reason for that shit

>>732609
ot but is that the "karma's got its kiss for me" girl

>>732781
i had one of my favorite cyndi lauper songs ruined for me because i was googling around to see if a music video existed for it and ended up on a porn site where they used it as the audio in a fucking machine (?) video and now when that song comes on like 80% of the time i think of that nasty ass video and i hate it

>>732824
i saw this on social media a week ago and literally cried ahhhhhh

No. 732902

>>732889
the text sounds exactly like a text my pedo groomer bf sent me after breaking up with me for 10th time because I was acting like a bpd mess over him cause I knew he never truly loved me and I was obsessed with him.
I leave the judgment to you. Anyway that text was painful as fuck to read.

No. 732909

one of my roommates stole my sex toy. I dont know which administrative branch I should report this to

No. 732916

>>732909
FBI and CDC

No. 732933

I somehow Pavlov dogged myself into feeling exhausted any time I start my homework. You've got to be kidding me.

No. 732938

My boyfriend has been learning to drive for the past couple months. He lived at home until like 21 because he has ADHD which meant to his parents that he couldn't do anything. His parents were also hardcore narcs who coddled his pedophile brother.

I took him driving to the gas station so we could put gas and on the way back he like completely looked past the stop sign and kept going. There was a car coming right as we were going through the intersection and I screamed at him to go faster and pay attention. I feel so bad, he started crying and when we got back home he just bawled in the room. I feel like I can't move, I want to apologize but I'm just stuck and I don't want to make the situation worse. I'll suck it up but I just feel like a giant asshole.

No. 732941

>>732938
It's ok anon, just go and explain that you didn't mean to yell at him but the situation was very stressful and it came out more harshly than you indended. Assure him that you know next time it will be all fine and you see his progress and all that. Just be understanding.

No. 732943

I thought that I was a part of a 3 person friend group but I guess not anymore.
I live with one of the girls and she is always going to visit the other friend without me. I told her that I was feeling left out and not wanted as part of the group, and she said "I understand how you feel, I never want you to feel left out". I told her if our friendship is just growing apart that's fine, but she told me that isn't the case. Yet they hang out at together at the other girl's apartment without me constantly.
They do things, just the two of them, yet say that I'm "not making time" to hang out and that it's my fault that I don't have many friends.
I go to school full time and have a job. Neither of them work, and when I get off of my shift they are always hanging out together. During the free time that I have, they spend time together by themselves. I don't know how I'm not "making time" by not being invited.
What do I do at this point? Am I being crazy? I have struggled with connecting to people before but I thought I found my forever friends. I'm tired of being sidelined.

No. 732946

>>732938
I would've screamed at his ass too. Also is he driving around in your car?
I understand beginners and all that, but what did he honestly expect? It sucks getting yelled at but he's acting like a baby considering the context and how it was his fault even if it were accidental.

I think you should apologize for yelling, but don't let him lord that over you cause it's not like it wasn't warranted. He should want to be extra cautious given the circumstances.

No. 732948

>>732938
Apologise for yelling but tell him that driving is seriou business, you can't be a fucking retard about it, then get all weepy when you get told off. He could've killed people ffs.

No. 732950

>>732943
as some one who went trough a similar situation try to set aside a day when you are free to tell them how you feel in person, remember to be steadfast since they can try to manipulate you and make you out to be the villain and if they do you will know they're not quality friends so you don't have to waste your time with them. So try to remain cordial with the one that's your room mate but don't waste your time trying to stay close friends with her.

No. 732996

File: 1612748785786.jpg (338.74 KB, 500x539, 1516380.jpg)

>bf wants to watch superbowl
>I don't like football but he's drinking beer and I wanna get buzzed too
>fuck it, haven't been legit drunk in ages
>empty some rum and a mixer for myself
>he goes into the bedroom during half time
>he fell asleep
>I'm alone and bored and no where near drunk

No. 733038

Valentine’s Day is coming up, I’m 21 and it’s my 2nd Valentine’s Day with my bf, last year I didn’t get him anything bc I didn’t know if we were serious or not but after meeting up I feel a lot more secure, he surprised me with a drawing of us that he got for free from a friend and I was really happy. I did the same this year and got something commissioned because I wanted it to be a good present. I told him I was getting him something on the 26th so kind of short notice but today he said he couldn’t get me anything because it was too soon. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. He’s my first boyfriend and I just want all the stereotypical girlfriend experiences, like getting chocolate on Valentine’s Day. It kind of hurts lol.

No. 733044

I hate how anti-sexworkER lolcow is tbh. I feel like a lot of radfems here act like they're anti-sexwork but they come across as actually just anti-sexworker. Now, I'm an escort/hooker w/e and don't get me wrong i'm not out here larping that sex work is GREAT and empowering and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, porn is fucking awful and imo worse than independent escorting, but that's another story. I can understand being against sex work but the amount of degrading gross comments I've seen on here about sex workers really sounds like something an incel scrote would say.

No. 733050

>>733044
Anti sex work of course means you're going to be anti sex worker, you help sustain an abhorrent industry and culture. I'll say I'm for decriminalisation because I don't think girls that are pimped out should be jailed for hooking under duress, but the daft cunts that willingly rent out their hole I have no love for.

No. 733060

>>732996
Let's fuck shit up anon
on the interwebs we can do the fucking of the shit the up

No. 733062

>>733044
They're just typing out what most of polite society cannot say out loud. It's not really a 'radfem' issue moreso than it is a 'society has no respect for you' issue. Even scrotes who claim to be pro-sex work are glad to take advantage of your services, badmouth you later, and then marry the woman they believe hasn't been slutty to anyone except for them. If the comments here are getting to you, then that means something. Those nasty comments are only the tip of the iceberg as to what people are thinking about you and presuming irl. Unless you've somehow pigeonholed yourself into sexwork, try a different profession where you could at least retain some of your dignity.

No. 733068

>>733044
Not even a radfem but you're not a "sex worker" you are a hooker or an overglorified hooker/escort. There's a difference between being a hooker and being a camgirl like the majoity of cows you're referring to. And most of these camgirls are massively coping like the rest of mainstream society touting a lie that you very well know about. So stop letting them co opt your struggles and grow a spine. It hurts your feelings when camgirls are called whores? I can't imagine how sensitive you'd be to the treatment you recieve from your own clients.

No. 733071

>>733044
honestly no matter how much i try to think of it as a normal thing i will never be able to have respect for a sex worker, especially if you weren't even in a desperate or hopeless situation and still chose to do it. call me a bad person, a hypocrite, whatever, but imo a lot of people out there have the same "mental block" as i do

No. 733074

>>733050
based opinion

No. 733076

>>733044
Any time this is said, the replies only prove the original point.

No. 733081

>>733076
No one is in disagreement with the OP, that's why.

No. 733085

>>733081
Nta but how? All of the replies look like they are disagreeing with op

No. 733101

>>733085
What are they disagreeing about? They think sex workers are bad and are enablers. I'd say that makes them anti-sexworker.

No. 733107

>>733101
Oh nvm anon. I think I got confused and misunderstood your post lmao

No. 733110

>>733081
It's not about disagreement. It's the dehumanization the anons replying did that proves her point. That's what I meant. Referring to someone as a "hole" because they use sex within a transaction completely negates the fact that they're still a person at the end of the day making their own choices (or not depending on their circumstances). To assert that everyone they come across in life will see them as nothing more than a whore is exactly the type of mentality anons swear off of when they encounter men who call them the same names for having multiple partners in monogamous relationships over time. They effectively proved OP's point by hyperfixating on being anti-sex worker instead of anti-sex work.

No. 733115

>>733110
>referring to someone as a "hole" because they use sex within a transaction completely negates the fact that they're still a person at the end of the day making their own choices

The dehumanization happens when a group of individuals with financial power incentivizes and pressures a group of people with less power into performing sex acts. Commodifying an act typically had between consenting adults with no ulterior motives. Those less powerful people require finance to live and are bought into performing risky acts for the power group's selfish pleasures.

Do you not see the big irony of tone policing a board of female posters who have bad labels for sex work, meanwhile actual scrotes are committing acts of coercion and violence against sex workers? Do you think men who consume porn are actually against calling women "sluts" and "whores" and "holes" when their top porn searches are for rape, underage, and incest? You think porn consoomers who tell women they're brave for sucking cock actually have respect for them just cause they say it? You're here telling those posters they're being mean because it's the easier 'activism.' If you dared to police men, or put restrictions on men's access to sex work, they'd call for your blood. That's why you're here trying to silence what makes you feel bad, instead of taking on the more problematic websites who actually perpetuate the subjugation of women.

Secondly, the poster you're referring to didn't call sex workers "holes," >>733050, you misread that. Thirdly, there's a big difference between someone who's had sexual experiences in relationships behind closed doors versus someone who's made public their exploits in exchange for money. It sucks, maybe you feel that's unfair, but it's true.

No. 733125

>>733115
>Do you not see the big irony of tone policing a board of female posters who have bad labels for sex work, meanwhile actual scrotes are committing acts of coercion and violence against sex workers?
Nta, but what's the issue with calling out both and thinking both are bad? We're all anonymous, so you really don't know what anon is posting on other sites, or even what else she's posted on this site. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

No. 733129

>>733125
>but what's the issue with calling out both and thinking both are bad?

Because one is inherently more harmful and the root of the problem than the other. Additionally, just because someone thinks sex work and sex workers are bad doesn't mean they can't understand why some choose to do sex work. Those things aren't mutually exclusive either.

You're just making a difficult case for yourself when you act like farmers are dehumanizing sex workers when the reality is men and the sex workers themselves are doing way more objectifying.

No. 733139

>>733129
That still doesn't mean you can't say that calling people derogatory names is bad though. Yeah, one is a lot worse, but you don't have to completely ignore the other. I'm not saying to act like farmers are worse than men who abuse sexworkers, but multitasking is a thing.
>You're just making a difficult case for yourself when you act like farmers are dehumanizing sex workers
Well I mean yeah, calling people by names that reduce them to their genitals is dehumanizing, sexworker or not. I don't think that's a difficult concept to understand.

No. 733140

>>733115
Exactly, the act of commodifying your body parts is the act of dehumanising yourself. Like love is a thing, everybody talks about it. Sex has value as the love act. A person does seem to lose worth if they are willing to sell it to anyone.

No. 733142

>>733115
Kek you have no idea what kind of activism I engage in on a day-to-day basis. Where did I ever say I was okay with men viewing female sex workers as nothing beyond their bodies? In fact, I said the opposite. Clearly, the men you're describing aren't actually the feminists they claim to be.
>To assert that everyone they come across in life will see them as nothing more than a whore is exactly the type of mentality anons swear off of when they encounter men who call them the same names for having multiple partners in monogamous relationships over time.
Do sex workers not do their business behind closed doors too?

Ohhhh sorry. Anon called them daft cunts who rent out their "holes." My mistake. Because that's definitely more honorable.
How am I tone policing? I literally have no say over who can and cannot post. You're free to post in whatever tone you'd like, but I'm just as free to rebuttal for thinking that it comes off as abhorrent. Just because you use words instead of actions, that doesn't negate the impact. Sex crimes existed before globalized pornography. Prostitution is one of the longest standing actions for mankind. Some do it by choice and others do it by necessity. Except, you'll never know who does it for which unless they tell you. Those anons reduced OP down to her body parts just like pornsick scrotes do. That much was clear. Does your sympathy only extend to sex workers who are forced to do so? Or should they be called whores and sluts too?(infighting)

No. 733152

>was having nightmares till today
>today i take a nap
>i have a dream where im in the momokun thread
>shes in her underwear and we're all dragging her
>autism bleeds out and i only respond in the thread with two emojis. i think it was the tongue out emoji and the wet emoji and i dont understand why.
>get redtext ban
>goddamnit!
>wake up
>"literally what the fuck?"

No. 733157

I JUST SAW A COMMENT REPLY TO MY DAD'S BROTHER'S PIC ON SOCIAL MEDIA OF SOMEONE SAYING HOW HAPPY THEY WERE TO SEE HIM BACK IN CHURCH WHEN HE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL DUE TO COVID FROM GOING TO THAT FUCKING CHURCH.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING

No. 733162

>>733157
Gotta throw the whole church away, rip

No. 733171

I have to put my dog down tomorrow and I can't sleep. I haven't slept in nearly two days anyway but I can't turn my brain off. Somehow it feels like if I don't sleep she won't have to die because tomorrow will never come, but that's child logic and it will. I feel like I'm going to relapse without her

No. 733172

>>733171

I'm sorry anon. She will be pain free though.

No. 733193

>>733172
You're right, I have been trying to give her as many treats / happy moments as possible this week but she can barely walk. At least she's been enjoying the cream cheese snack times.

No. 733196

File: 1612765471329.gif (2.23 MB, 498x282, retard beam.gif)

i hate having some form of absolutely shitfuck neurodivergency that makes it impossible for me to integrate properly with people. it's been this way since i was a kid. either i can't speak or look anyone in the eye and look like a freak, or engage in complete overzealous discussion of things i like. i can't keep relationships because i only ever want to talk about what select piece of media my brain has taken and made the only thing i can care about. i think i have to accept that i am a queen of benevolent cringe and hope that i do well enough in these last few years of uni to not go full neetmode after.

No. 733213

File: 1612766446666.jpg (38.15 KB, 500x384, 79a26f181849feabba9590976d101a…)

I work as a court clerk and I hate my fucking job so much, are all judges and lawyers sociopaths or am I just unlucky fuckkkkk

No. 733226

>>733213
Got any stories?

No. 733238

>>733213

So my field brings me into a lot of court rooms and can confirm. A lot of judges are also weirdos.

No. 733239

>>733226

NTA but in federal court once i was at a hearing where the defense had allegedly bribed the judge and he brought it up during the sentencing hearing and i kekd

No.