File: 1602176104204.jpg (524.99 KB, 1280x1736, PicsArt_10-08-11.45.11.jpg)
File: 1602176796210.jpg (56.95 KB, 397x493, William_McGonagall.jpg)
wasn't this guy kind of an og lolcow? William McGonagall, wrote notoriously terrible poetry that people enjoyed ironically at the time
File: 1602176905989.jpeg (38.01 KB, 469x654, 07C6C2D6-C743-43E6-9AA9-4E2C0D…)
My girl Florence Foster Jenkins of course. People watched her shows to hear her awful singing. She thought they were genuine fans.
File: 1602179825677.png (341.18 KB, 2518x1024, 38FC5FBE-E861-436B-AC17-1AA172…)
Any time a Tesla thread would be made, you know half the replies would be insane sperging a la Kiki by our favorite moneygrubber Thomas Edison.
File: 1602182863156.jpg (96.25 KB, 780x1024, 0cf5c945ad6c84276f8183d92e6881…)
The roman emperor Elagabalus, the original AGP, some Twitter troons are even trying to reclaim him as a proud transwomyn uwu.
File: 1602186804116.jpg (286.22 KB, 1242x1380, 20201009_025303.jpg)
Valid reason to cancel Genghis Khan??
File: 1602187468983.jpg (303.23 KB, 943x1118, SmartSelect_20201008-160135_Ch…)
File: 1602187743218.jpeg (383.72 KB, 750x1131, 14146759-2AAD-4F78-9612-FB7C1C…)
Typhoid Mary would certainly have her own thread.
File: 1602188054347.jpg (141.28 KB, 1200x1200, didilie.jpg)
He would lurk here (but never announce himself), actively post on other boards, and be a public lolcow. He loved attention, after all.
File: 1602188172951.jpeg (95.98 KB, 761x944, FFA61BF9-89C9-43F4-BE3A-D64CB1…)
John Wilmot, notorious party-er and manhoe who died at 33 of syphilis and other STDs
File: 1602189878977.jpg (73.02 KB, 627x849, 93d8af78575a4e62f76d05c350e04f…)
I love these threads>>650030
Oh God yes. Also the Romanovs. Particularly right before the Russian Revolution when Rasputin was around. >Tinfoiling about Alexei's illness and whether Rasputin and Queen Alexandra were fucking or not>Endless milk about Rasputin and his followers
File: 1602190324631.jpg (104.04 KB, 800x1215, classycow.jpg)
>Kill or send to hell any person who dislikes or has done something to him(in his fics)
File: 1602190513153.jpeg (505.03 KB, 1105x1600, F630037F-122E-45FF-B56B-66B54F…)
Surprised nobody has mentioned this famous manwhore yet, can you imagine the amount of threads he would fill?
I can imagine countless of threads about the Occult. Particularly Aleister Crowley/Jack Parsons crowd. They would be the early 20th century equivalent to Goth/Alt cows. >>650412
Kek. He would rightfully piss off anons for being a fatfuck who marries a ton women only to get rid of them (by execution in some instances). And let's not forget his quest for a male heir. Henry the VIII would be the Onision if lolcow existed in those times.
File: 1602191838493.png (490.92 KB, 459x651, Frances_Farmer_restrained_1943…)
SO MANY stars of old hollywood. People put them on perma-pedestal now but they were basically ethots of today without social media or plastic surgery. Frances Farmer, the original celebricow notliketheothergirls, can you imagine how much she would shitpost about #Metoo calling out Clifford Odets? Also: Merle Oberon (half indian actress/possible SW who bleached her skin till it literally fell off in an attempt to pass), Veronica Lake (Lindsay Lohan of the 40s), Peg Entwitsle
(BPDchan) and Jayne Mansfield (Marilyn Monroe skinwalker satanist, can imagine her becoming a botched IG model and going on DR Phil talking about her BBLs). Also Howard Hughs, he was basically the Muskrat of his time collecting high profile actress girlfriends and spending his money on flexes to compensate for being a autistic weirdo.
File: 1602192186404.jpeg (46.49 KB, 365x501, 97616574-95EE-47C7-88F3-89BD07…)
Audrey Hepburn was a serial cheater and more or less functional alcoholic, I think its so weird that people put her in this uwu delicate untouchable pure pedestal just because she looks angelic and did charity work.
File: 1602192788092.jpg (5.62 MB, 2993x3798, Juan_de_Miranda_Carreno_002.jp…)
He would have had some kind of Hartley Hooligan thread where the real cows were the family, and people would necro it every three months with "how can he still be alive?" type of posts.
File: 1602193242741.jpg (58.38 KB, 792x944, annelister.jpg)
Anne Lister was probably a cow for a while after she died.
>lobby against poor people being allowed to vote
>write diary detailing your lesbian affairs in code
>break one girl's heart so badly they send her to insane asylum
>never have children
>trick a priest into officiating the first ever lesbian marriage
File: 1602193390382.jpg (397.95 KB, 1200x1198, 1200px-Marquis_de_sade.jpg)
the og horrorcow
File: 1602202704310.jpg (83.05 KB, 426x568, Hitler_portrait_crop.jpg)
>The lengendary salty artist
become one of the world evil historical figure because rejected from Art school multitype times.
File: 1602203914983.jpg (86.93 KB, 449x449, lovecraft-and-a-cat.jpg)
White supremacist Lovecraft and his cat- uh.. yeah, you already know his name.
File: 1602206246109.jpg (7.39 KB, 136x185, 95b7fdcd3e03649edf7f87e1a7c57b…)
The OG attention whore.
File: 1602207717558.jpg (75.61 KB, 465x742, 385cdd3eae95a5cd3b1bbaa7267b2e…)
Lovecraft was a fucking sperg but he was genuinely afraid of everything different than the environment he grew up in. He's been extremely paranoid since childhood (which was pretty fucked up), a basement dweller unable to attend school. His racism was so exaggerated it was comical. I just can't take it seriously.
Lovecraft was truly born a century too early, he got his start in being published by spamming hundreds of rhyming troll letters to a magazine mocking another authors work, wrote something like 100,000 letters in his life filled with whining about how every aspect of modernity is the jews out to get the white man and had such bad mommy issues and/or autism his wife had to buy him a book about human sexuality to get him to have sex with her
he would have 100% been one of those pretentious alt-right author e-celebs along the lines of Vox Day who spends all day getting into arguments on twitter about how yoga pants are a degeneracy psyop until he gets banned for sending one of his racist poems to a black celebrity
File: 1602211799872.jpg (356.28 KB, 1280x962, 1280px-Dante_Domenico_di_Miche…)
This guy write self insert ×Christian God fanfic
Probably have of lot kudo in ao3 if he still alive
File: 1602213014272.jpg (182.02 KB, 800x989, 1491_Henry_VIII.jpg)
Fat neckbeard throws a tantrum and creates a massive religious division in his country so he can fuck some thot fifteen years younger than him, only to falsely accuse her of sleeping with her brother so he can behead her. Calls his fourth wife an ugly hag despite the fact that he's an obese diabetic ogre with disgusting rotting sores on his legs. Blames his wives for his shit ability to sire children even though his own rare blood type is the reason his kids keep dying.
File: 1602213373451.jpg (57.46 KB, 800x764, Casanova.jpg)
Literal rapist who fucked allegedly had a three way with his underage illegitimate daughter and her mother. Probably lied about 90% of his sexual exploits because that's the sort of thing an attention-seeking scrote would do before Plebbit was invented. Retarded people today hold him up as an example of a "romantic."
>>650290>Taft too only because of the tub incident.
Spill the milk, anon.
(also, I vote from now on we post ITT as though each historical cow is still alive in their current era, and we rag on them as such. y/n?)
File: 1602217204463.jpg (380.99 KB, 955x1221, Giovanni_Battista_Tiepolo_096.…)
>anachan, starves herself and refuses to eat anything but eucharist wafers
>munchie, pretends to be sick until family lets her join the church
>actually believes she's married to BABY jesus with a ring made of his foreskin
>self harms stigmata
most saints were probably extremely mentally ill, Catherine of Siena died of a stroke brought upon herself due to self-starvation.
File: 1602217846979.jpeg (25.54 KB, 620x413, images (53).jpeg)
Most saint has obbsession serving the "God Purity/Will" or being r/iamverysmart Chirstian edition
File: 1602217861896.jpg (89.18 KB, 652x815, Zelda-F-Scott-Fitzgerald-1921.…)
Mostly mental illness
Still doesn't get it why she got a saint tittle
Some of the saints doesn't deserve to have a saint tittle tbh.
And there is some non Missionary,Nun, priest who deserve a Saint Tittle.
File: 1602219111097.jpg (955.68 KB, 1121x1920, Frances Farmer.jpg)
>schizophrenic, other untreated mental illnesses
>abusive, controlling family
>moved to California to act
>constantly photographed acting out in public
>atheist and communist in the 30s
>family forcibly committed her
>died from smoking anyway
>Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle
File: 1602224059371.jpg (195.89 KB, 800x1145, jeanne-d-arc.jpg)
>crossdressing NLOG 17 y.o.
>claims to hear voices from god, literally travels to the king to tell him herself bc it's not like could have anything more important to worry about
>tries to make the 100 years war about 'muh religion!!!'
>pure snowflake, says she dresses in men's clothing to protect her virginity from scrotes
>claims to be incredible military leader, captured and executed less than a year into her career
>still has a legacy 500+ yrs later bc of annoying catholic simp fanbase
the fakeboi and tradthot threads would eat her up
File: 1602224097710.jpeg (71.61 KB, 440x305, E79DC9D4-2A45-4485-AA56-E98B8C…)
>spoiled brat, hoarded at levels rivaling pixylocks
>used womens bathroom, bathed with the women, and even shaved their bushes knowing they were required to listen to him because of his power and status
>literally opened the bathrooms to the public so he could watch them bathe
>started a religious cult
>fucked literally like everyone
>finally stabbed to death by his soldiers while his grandma watched, everyone was tired of being buttfucked by him I guess
File: 1602231920524.jpg (1.51 MB, 2400x3576, Prince-Edward-Duke-of-Windsor-…)
Garbage selfish king who didn't give a hot shit about his job and threw his country into a crisis because he wanted to fuck a gold-digger from Burgerland. Sabotaged his own career by palling around with Nazis and being fascist-lite.
File: 1602233031494.png (172.64 KB, 329x400, Louis,_Count_of_Vermandois.png)
Basically everybody in King Louis XIV's court was a lolcow and I'll get to posting that eventually, but while I was researching I found this guy who looks like Matthew Broderick as a gay 17th century nobleman. He's not a cow, he just really looks like Matthew Broderick and it's unnerving. I call him "François Bueller."
File: 1602245714727.jpeg (8.88 KB, 180x281, images.jpeg)
Can we talk about this guy from Nazareth? He's getting pretty big.
>this guy, Jesus, thinks he's the literal son of god
>apparently his mother Mary was a virgin when he was born
>COPE, Joseph was clearly a cuck
>so delusional that he left his job as carpenter to go teach people about his god's philosophy or w/e
>heals people from leprosy and other diseases, and raises the dead?? witchcraft, devilry
>amasses bunch of followers, chooses 13 of them as his ""disciples""
>washes the feet of a prostitute, when she should have been washing his feet instead
And a lot more, but this covers the basics. Anyone got anymore milk?
That was one of Louis XIV's bastard sons, he got himself caught in a gay scandal and then died young
I love that era tbh, spicy af
That humblebragging hippy is so desperate for attention he will preach to anyone, he ranted at a tree of all things because he was angry it was out of season. His stans tried to make it into this big thing about spirituality and Israel afterwards but no lol just accept that your oppa was hungry and yelling at a tree
Imo he has some really good points but he goes about a lot of it the wrong way. Did anyone see when he flipped all those tables in a church because he didn't think capitalism and religion should mix? He might as well copy JKR and just chimp out on Twitter
File: 1602250907558.jpeg (9.92 KB, 213x237, images.jpeg)
Listen here you fucking slut, you will NOT talk like this about my husband ever again, if ever catch you, if I ever see any other word about him in here I'm going to make you pay, I'm sick I'm fucking mental I drink leprosy bath water for fucking laughs don't test me bitch because you will find me and you won't like what's coming for you
File: 1602251918401.jpg (80.22 KB, 640x640, 76bffa1648271e7be3b96ca80fe057…)
I have to admin that I really love his music tho. Innerspeaker is my personal fave!
File: 1602252912644.jpg (179.1 KB, 940x528, gefuehlsduselei-oder-vernunft.…)
>insecure manlet, probably bi/gay in denial
>constantly whines about muh depression
>always on vacation to find himself
>kids an-hero because of his book
>refuses to marry the mother of his 5 children (who happens to be 18 years younger than him), only does so after she saves him of looting soldiers
>cuck, she's allowed to flirt with other men
>digs up the skull of his dead friend/crush, places him in his office and talks to him
>proposes to a 19-year-old at the age of 74, she declines, he claims that this is what's killing him
File: 1602254234779.jpeg (49.22 KB, 300x370, 5B8A7D0D-A3D6-487F-B116-B4ACA4…)
Surprised no one mentioned Tchaikovsky yet
File: 1602254531666.jpg (876.11 KB, 1066x1500, Sigmund_Freud_LIFE.jpg)
Fuckin' spamming gender critical and playing armchair psychologist for all the other cows itt
File: 1602255126034.jpeg (211.24 KB, 750x633, E6AFFBA0-7E41-42CE-954B-7D191F…)
File: 1602255159008.jpeg (1.48 MB, 1448x2016, A1423225-CBA3-4F09-B876-6B270B…)
> had a spanking fetish (he liked being spanked)
> lived with and had a sexual relationship with an older woman and called her “maman”
> flashed his ass to random ladies on the street
> sent away all his children instead of taking care of them
> once pretended to be an Englishman for no reason
> lied to a whole town about being a famous composer
That’s all I can think of right now but I read his autobiography once and he admitted all of this
>>650437>Literally even someone like Henry VIII was less pedo then onion.
God this line sent me hard>>650558
In 2020 he would be an antifa slacker sperging out about social issues on twitter and trying to cancel famous people while failing every attempt to hide his deeply ingrained misogyny and racism.
File: 1602262744596.jpg (335.94 KB, 800x1186, Aleister_Crowley,_Golden_Dawn.…)
>believes himself to be a warlock
>writes a book on magick, which includes recipes straight out of middle ages
>hires a teenage boy to fuck him in a pyramid
>tries to bring on the end of the world by creating antichrist
>born into massive wealth but squandered it all on magick and died in a poor house
Anons, it's been a while since I researched him but, boy, was aleister ever milky.
File: 1602262829830.jpeg (44.61 KB, 750x500, Sada_Abe_750-750x500.jpeg)
She would be a kinky cam girl/porn star until her inevitable incarceration for murder
File: 1602265391885.jpg (64.61 KB, 548x685, dostoyevsky.jpg)
>>650010>bullied in school from grade 1>also bullied by his own just-as-famous contemporaries because of his looks and personality>literally almost fainted when a woman spoke to him, had to take a breather on a bench when he saw some pantyhose drying on a windowsill>basically the OG gigaincel>visited brothels and had violent, abusive sex with the prostitutes, was called the russian Marquis de Sade>might've raped a 10 year old>the one successful marriage he did have was with a crazy fan 20 years his junior who probably just developed Stockholm syndrome>even then he was incredibly jealous, telling her to cover up, not to talk to other men, wear long, flowing clothes, etc.>even then, he gambled her wedding dress and engagement ring away>gambled pretty much everything away
Jeez, a horrorcow if anything
I could see the same shit with ancient Egypt's pharaohs, they were so inbred to keep their bloodlines pure, I've read some nightmarish descriptions.>>650444>sent to prison for being a legit sexual harasser and rapist>"boohoo it's all because of censorship for my BDSM books, I'm the victim here!!"
Reminds me of greasy weebs thinking normies and fellow dedicated fans hating and reporting them for posting loli trash and disturbing coomer shit is an attack on free speech.
Speaking of which, he didn't just abandon all his children because he didn't care about them, he wrote a giant book about how parents should raise their kids. While being a deadbeat dad.
He had beef with Voltaire who was just as much of a hypocrite>guy has slaves in America and owns businesses abroad linked to the whole slave trade shit going on back then>writes book about bad things being bad>whole chapter is about how slavery is bad and racism is bad>"d-don't do as I do, do as I say!! It's ok if I have slaves as long as I say it's bad to have slaves!"
uhm, we're not here to spoonfeed you, nonny
. read the rules and learn to integrate.
(i'm so sorry, i couldn't resist.)
File: 1602271529414.jpg (177.57 KB, 770x1095, 43645765876.jpg)
Lmao I love this thread.
>almost solely responsible for the entire collapse of the Mongol Empire
>destruction he caused was done in such a pathetic and shitty way that virtually no one even knows his name or that he existed
>becomes entranced by a dying bunny's blood in the snow and thinks, "damn I wanna bang a girl that hot"
>advisor tells him, "yo, your son's wife is that hot"
>rapes daughter-in-law and makes her his wife
>distraught daughter-in-law frames advisor so that he kills him too
>realizes he fucked up
>clan and allies think if the khan is a debauched, disloyal shithead then that means it's cool for them to be too
>once great empire with high standards of respect and morality among their own people engages in widespread depravity
>senior wife gets pissed off at his fuckery and finds a co-conspirator to kill him
>without a clear successor and his legacy of corruption, nation suffers from extreme turmoil for the following century
>as a young girl skips school to take geisha lessons, wore stylish make-up>ends up becoming a low-ranking prostitute>gains a reputation as a trouble-maker, steals from clients>gets arrested in a police raid on the unlicensed brothel at which she was working>the friend of the brothel owner, arranges to have her released, makes her his mistress, then complains about her being a nymphomaniac and him being tired from all the sex they were having>after that starts working at a restaurant, owner of the establishment makes a move on her, they start a passionate affair, sometimes they don't leave the bed for days>on the day of the murder she chokes the guy to death during sex, cuts off his dick and balls, wraps them in newspaper to use them later, goes shopping>when asked why she had severed the man's genitalia, Abe replied, "I wanted to take the part of him that brought back to me the most vivid memories."
I didn't know about the whole Dickens part, poor family lmao
also he wrote the Snow Queen after getting rejected by Jenny Lind and The Little Mermaid after a guy dumped him for a girl so basically his fairytales were his fanfics
File: 1602277951945.jpg (118.39 KB, 375x487, Albert_II_of_Austria.jpg)
It's amazing that the guy who painted this wasn't executed. He gave the king enough chins to fill a Chinese phonebook.
File: 1602306737391.jpeg (57.18 KB, 640x480, images (54).jpeg)
If they still alive, they use twitter a lot.
please my lungs anon why I feel like a punching bag
anyway this thread weirdly comforts me. Its not us losing our minds, mankind has always had plenty of cows. from the present it's easy to overlook
>>651509>Nowadays Chris Hansen would be drunkenly interviewing one of her Chaturbate patrons
kek, true dat
What I found funny about the movie is that the director sought her out before making it and of all places, he managed to locate her in a nunnery in Kansai
Original poster here. It just a typo lol cause of my phone.
Same, I agree with u Anon
File: 1602312735280.jpg (32.2 KB, 528x360, freud.jpg)
i hate this bitch i really do
Was she? I thought she got cheated on
a lot of times
File: 1602347740014.jpg (355.47 KB, 1024x1560, saint francis.jpg)
>came from a rich, well to do family
>was handsome, enjoyed living lavishly
>had a spiritual awakening, sold all his belongings and lived in a cave for a month
>his dad found him, beat him up, and locked him in a room
>his dad filed legal proceedings against him, Francis renounced his father and his patrimony, then stripped himself of his clothing in front of everyone
>wandered around Italy as a beggar and then founded the Franciscan Order
there's so much more too, like how he claimed to have stigmata
File: 1602349989722.jpeg (29.51 KB, 300x300, 02E38C2E-F018-480E-8D98-56EB49…)
Marilyn Monroe aka Norma Jean Baker , suffered from BPD and famously reinvented herself into a sex symbol, drug abuse, multiple tumultuous marriages, had an affair with JFK and his brother
File: 1602435566967.jpg (215.8 KB, 800x1073, 800px-Isabel_da_Áustria_1867[1…)
He's my fave US president, I'm always mad giggling whenever I read about his duels. The one who died after stuffing himself with cherries and milk was also hilarious.>>650435
Don't forget her anachan tendencies.
Speaking of anachans, Sissi would also count, along with her insane beauty regime (cold showers, hours long walks, tightlacing, hair treatments with dozens of eggs and expensive brandy) and other eccentricies (she asked her husband for a lunatic asylum as a present). Her cousin, Ludwig, would also be a prime Bavarian lolcow nowadays, especially with his spending tons of taxapayers' money on useless tacky castles.
File: 1602438756411.jpeg (146.17 KB, 1200x1200, 83F9C84E-EEDF-4F27-B766-101671…)
>notoriously hard to work with, had a bad temper
>killed someone in a duel
>in and out of jail
>talked shit about everyone
>had sex with everyone, male or female
File: 1602440735665.jpg (6.42 KB, 185x273, bette_davis.jpg)
I can't decide if she'd be a cow or a farmer kek
Considering artists usually flattered their subjects in paintings, think about how many more chins he probably had IRL.>>652108
Bitch, stop talking shit about my husbando.>>651403
No reason to feel bad for Dickens himself, he was a fucking dick indeed. >be a male gold digger>gets married to a daughter of a wealthy publisher to get a leg up in literary world>gets her with ten kids and acts like it's her fault>treats her horribly>flirts with her sisters>at 45 starts an affair with an 18 y/o actress>wife discovers the truth, accuses him publicly>portrays her as insane, tries to get her institutionalized, smears her at every turn>separates with her, takes all the kids, save for one who decided to stay with mother>disowns said kid>barely pays wife any money>treats other kids like shit
Nowadays he would be #metoo'd hard. He was really trying hard to compensate in those books.
File: 1602491780582.gif (239.63 KB, 599x490, 1498245630503.gif)
Nothing makes me angrier than when people call someone "Casanova" as a compliment, or when trashy websites write retarded articles like, "Ten Dating Tips from Casanova" or "Ackchually Casanova was a Feminist." I legitimately wish I would go back in time so I could cut his dick off and sodomize him with a cactus. The only thing I hate more than pedophiles are pedophiles who get glorified by the public.
File: 1602507122096.jpg (46.88 KB, 479x581, Princess_Palatine_Elisabeth_Ch…)
Posting her, not because she was a cow, but because she was based as hell. If this woman was alive today she would totally post here. She's the second wife of Louis XIV's openly flamboyantly gay brother Philippe, so she was surrounded with cows at Versailles. She wrote thousands of letters were she spilled the milk about the crazy shit going on at court. Her work ended up being fantastic historical documentation. She was ugly and butch, but everyone liked her because she had a sense of humor about it and gave zero fucks. She was one of the few people back then who realized that the absurd behavior of French nobles needed to be documented. Rest in power, Liselotte-sama.
File: 1602952844393.jpg (1.65 MB, 2038x3000, 00-story-frida-kahlo-v-and-a.j…)
Frida Khalo is your average sjw commie.
>Had a fake-boi phase
>Had exotic spider monkey pets she could not properly take care of because of her declining health
>Appropriates indigenous Mexican culture despite being mostly white German
>Constantly lied about her date of birth because she wanted the year to be the same as when the Mexican Revolution began
>Marries an ogre, though her husband is the creepy one because she was 21 years younger than his ugly ass fuck
>Slept with a fuck ton of men & women that it has it's own Wikipedia page list
>Her old butt fucking ugly fat husband is also a major cow who was okay with her fucking any other woman, but not men
>Her husband had an affair with Frida's younger sister
>As revenge she had an affair with Leon Trotsky
>Was a communist ally & often painted communist symbolism in her art
>Self muse, same stiff pose, same facial expression in all her portraits
>Created her own brand by having a unibrow & stache
>She only became iconic after her death, roughly decades later
>Her image gets capitalized present day by big chain companies, something she was wholeheartedly against not really milk, but kinda sad funny
Kek, I remember when Phoebe Tickner bitched about her and said she was problematic
. I love her work but she seems like she would be insufferable irl.
File: 1602972789634.jpg (310.19 KB, 1080x638, Screenshot_20201017-171201.jpg)
Huh. She's never looked indigenous to me anyway
File: 1604487186666.jpg (11.96 KB, 220x282, unnamed.jpg)
Can we not forget that this going off profiting Telsa's works
Tesla was a cow himself too though.
He loved a white pigeon "like a woman", and didn't like human women. Fuckin' furry
I cannot imagine the pigeon surviving that, at most he nutted on the pigeon. But he was most probably just a platonic furry.
He was a self-proclaimed volcel
>>650422>Henry the VIII would be the Onision if lolcow existed in those times
He even wrote shitty music and was incredibly competitive with Francis I of France. Before they met he’d accost visitors to his court who’d met Francis to ask them which of them was taller. When they wrestled at the Field of the Cloth of Gold, Francis beat his ass.
The first time he met Anne of Cleves (wife #4) while she was fresh off the boat and on her way to London, he was in disguise. Depending on the account he either flirted with her or pretty much sexually assaulted her. She did what any young woman would do when some random, obese, stinking manchild literally twice her age tries to force himself on her and rejected him, which hurt his delicate ego enough that he later demanded a divorce because she was supposedly too ugly for him.
He’s one of my favourite historical cows.
File: 1604531541836.jpg (238.58 KB, 706x728, AKG258392.jpg)
>WHEN WILL YOU BE DONE WITH MY COMMISSION!
>I HAVE A LOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, FUCK OFF!
File: 1604566330601.jpg (15.06 KB, 320x240, chris3.jpg)
This is more of a /lit/ thing but, how much of a lolcow would Chris McCandless be?
>be well off kid with daddy issues
>have identity crisis so bad you start larping as a transcendalist
>push away friends and family for being a pretentious douche
>sell all your shit and decide to go on a cross country adventure to live out your larp
>every person you meet admits your the definition sheltered
>finally make it to the great wilderness of alaska
>die in bus because your ego made you think you were a master huntsmen
>guy who does your biography dedicates a chapter to creaming himself over how retarded you both are
File: 1604663081634.jpg (9.9 KB, 176x230, margery-kempe-2.jpg)
I can't believe nobody brought up Margery Kempe. This medieval bitch was crazy.
> Author of first known autobiography in the English language
> Declared herself a born-again virgin after bearing 14 children, telling her husband they can't fuck anymore because Jesus is her true husbando
> Somehow still bears another child during her and her husband's celibacy
> Tried two different at home businesses, when they failed she went on pilgrimage as a self declared mystic
> Would frequently cry and scream and wail in public because she loved God so much and pretended to have visions of Jesus. Her autobiography describes these sessions like they were normal or even admirable behaviour
> Got arrested on account of heresy multiple times: women can't be preachers and married women can't pretend to be nuns. Her persecutors were demons of course
> Declares childbirth to be demonic torture. Declares her son to be a lazy good-for-nothing failure. Declares the first scribe of her autobiography to be a failure with inelligible handwriting who made things impossible for the second scribe. Circumstantial evidence points to the son being her first scribe.
In 2020 this woman would, after 2 failed MLM endeavours, try her damn hardest to make her teenage daughter internet famous and leech off her. The name's already close enough.
By being super sheltered and stupid.
My man didn't even bring a map or a decent field guide and the great irony of the situation is that many spoiled hipster tourists tried to make a pilgrimage to his death bus and died in the process just like him.
Wish they didn't remove the bus, it was good that those idiots removed themselves from the gene pool.
File: 1604670679748.gif (393.37 KB, 250x150, download.gif)
Wish more of them had the exact combination of ignorance and hubris this guy did. Can't stand bored middle-class "adventurer" types and I sincerely hope they continue to die off.
Cases similar to his won't be the first or last. Any retarded scrote who tries to live out some fantasy while being under prepared are just doomed
Can this also include scrots who move to whatever big city just because they thought they were too good for their hometown/wherever they had shelter and become homeless and die from starvation/coldness/sickness?
File: 1604911456354.jpg (104.71 KB, 1200x803, ugly.jpg)
John Lennon. Wifebeater. Deadbeat dad. Hypocrite.
Had a ton of simps pulling their hair out over him despite looking like this.
George and Paul wrote better Beatles songs anyway. Also John's son Julian had more respect and affection for Paul than he did for his own father, which tells you basically everything you need to know. Even when John was making bank, he didn't pay child support to Julian's mom. He physically abused both of his wives and their children, but was considerably crueller to Cynthia and Julian. John then screwed Julian over in his will.
I think most people under the age of forty are aware of and acknowledge Lennon's shittyness. It's like the second thing that gets brought up in most conversations about the Beatles.
Iirc, his sister came out with a book a few years ago that stated that their dad was very physically abusive
during their childhood. Something that even the author of Into the Wild backed up and said that she told him that while he was writing his book but asked not to publish it because she was still trying to work on her relationship with her parents. Guess that went nowhere. That made me feel somewhat bad for him but he was still an arrogant dumbass and anyone who idolizes him is an idiot.
What I don't understand he take any type of survivalist course beforehand, they can last from a couple weeks to a month or two but they teach all the necessary skills one would need for most areas. my bf was a sheltered citykid but he went though a couple of courses hosted by ex-army guys and when we went camping it felt like being with someone who had lived in the Jungle his whole life, other then that he had some specific survivalist books that he kept on hand just in case
I mean if he and other bored middle class guys want to leave society and live in the woods that's fine by me but why don't they seemingly ever do the least bit or actual training
File: 1605363878586.jpg (82.13 KB, 587x407, Beau_Fielding.jpg)
Robert "Beau" Fielding. Member of Parliament turned Gambling, duelling, gold-digging, bigamist
>Former MP and well-known womanizer
>Revolution, flees to France with King James II
>Returns to England and is imprisoned in Newgate, secures pardon following year and is released
>Now aged 50, he thinks it wise to duel with young barrister, who draws first and injures him
>Attention seeker, is known to show his injuries to women hoping to arouse their compassion, which failed
>Swift records "he was run into his breast, which he opened, and shewed to the ladies, that he might move their love and pity; but they all fell a-laughing"
>Somehow manages to marry wealthy Mary Swift, who has a considerable estate in Yorkshire, which he then squanders. She dies shortly after.
>Courts Duchess of Cleveland, former mistress of Charles II; at the same time pursues Anne Deleau, an heiress with a fortune of £60,000, which he discovered by studying her late husband's will
>Bombards Anne with love letters which her servants intercept
>Aware of his reputation and questioning his motives for proposing, her servants hide the letters
>Fielding, now desperate, bribes Deleau's hairdresser, Charlotte Villars, with £500 to arrange marriage to Anne
>Mrs. Villars disguises one of her own friends, a poor woman named Mary Wadsworth, as the widow
>Believing her to be Deleau, Fielding marries Wadsworth on 9 November 1705
>Fielding's pursuit of the Duchess of Cleveland continues, he enters into a bigamous union with her on 25 November 1705
>News of the double marriage emerges in May 1706 and Fielding also discovers he had married Wadsworth rather than Deleau
>He arrives at Waddon, beats Wadsworth, and warns Deleau's hairdresser Charlotte Villars, not to reveal the marriage
>Marriage to the Duchess increasingly unhappy, as she long stopped indulging his expenses
>"so barbarously ill-treated her, that she was obliged to have recourse to a magistrate for protection against his outrages"
>Has a sexual relationship with the Duchess' granddaughter, Charlotte Calvert, impregnates her
>The case goes to the Old Bailey, where Fielding is prosecuted and found guilty of bigamy
>Marriage between Fielding and the Duchess is annulled, but he claims benefit of clergy, escaping the sentence for bigamy
>He escapes the lesser sentence of being burnt at the hand by producing a warrant from Queen Anne, which ordered the suspension of all sentences against him.
>After the annulment, he reconciles with Mary Wadsworth
>Duchess of Cleveland dies of dropsy three years later
>Fielding, living with Mary, dies of Fever six years later
File: 1605388970037.png (1.1 MB, 1022x1387, Capture _2020-11-14-16-22-23.p…)
Edie Sedgwick was the proto-influencer. Large following despite not really being famous, incapable of producing original content, born into money, and appears in some shitty low-budget art film no one wants to watch. The messy scandal like setting a hotel on fire by smoking in bed. Bad eyebrows.
File: 1605391809869.jpg (199.32 KB, 1014x1200, Charles I.jpg)
Although I shouldn't speak ill of the monarch, Charles I was a bit of a lolcow
>enforced ship money in places that were nowhere near the sea because he wanted the money
>shut down parliament for like a decade
>brings it back just so he can beg them for money
>Married a catholic
>Inb4 catholicfags start screeching at me
Her family had a history of mental illness and she was molested by her dad. She was used and fucked over by both Warhol and Dylan. Add being an anachan and schizo culture of the 60s to the mix. I would be more surprised if she lived past 30.
Definitely bad eyebrows, tho.
Thank you! I saw the movie months ago and was in facepalm mode all along. I feel less alone cause critic AND spectator reviews in my country were full of fart huffers snobs saying stuff like ~Wow! So inspiring!Jack Kerouak 2.0! What a hero!~
And I was like : Yeah, nope. Unless you wanna take his story as an inspiration on what Not to do when you're alone in the wild nature.
I live in the French Alps and you can't imagine how many hipster tourists larping as adventurers does the same kind of stuff of put the rescuers in danger to save their stupid ass every year.
Anyway, I don't have much to contribute since my baguette English is quite shitty
but you anons are funny and interesting af and I hope that thread will go on.
File: 1606164378576.jpg (80.07 KB, 960x519, tAamAiU.jpg)
If Diogenes were alive today, he'd have the craziest online presence.
File: 1606171860935.jpg (39.91 KB, 460x620, richard-wagner-1351529175-view…)
This guy right here
>9th child in the family, father died when he was 6 months old and his mother remarries his father's friend who was an actor/playwright. Go through life thinking he is his actual dad.
>get into theatre/music growing up thanks to his dad who isn't actually his dad
>first big break at an opera house in Germany, write an opera for it.
>during rehearsals, fall madly in love with the leading lady. Opera gets one performance, then the theatre goes bankrupt. Marries this soprano who leaves him within a year
>goes off to Latvia in a huff, and to start a new job. His wife eventually rejoins him and they run up massive debts. They flee to escape their creditos
>Spends time living in London+Paris, barely scraping a living while dreaming about how he's going to write the most super special type of operas ever created
>A friendly, successful composer called Meyerbeer thinks that your operas are pretty good and uses his influence to arrange for a performance back in Germany, in Dresden.
>Goes back to Germany to take up a job in Dresden, does quite well
>falls in with some socialists and anarchists cause he thinks they're cool, start writing some articles in support of them
>gets swept up in the attempted uprising, make some grenades and do some lookout duty (too scared to do any any actual fighting)
>uprising gets put down, so to escape arrest he runs off to Switzerland and starts couchsurfing with his wife in tow
>pesters his friends in Germany with letters asking for money and trying to get his operas performed. One of them is Franz Liszt - important to remember for later - who does organise the premiere of one of the operas.
>Meanwhile, some kind women give him neetbux so he can write his super special operas without having to work another job
>begin an affair with one of the women and plans to elope with her because his wife is depressed at how shit she thinks his super special operas are and being dragged around Europe
>in between super special opera writing, finds time to write some essays on what exactly makes his super special operas super special
>also writes an essay reeeeeeeing that his super special operas aren't getting performed because degenerate Jewish composers - like kind Mister Meyerbeer earlier - are corrupting the ears and hearts of Germans. Later on, some family friends suggest that Wagner's actual father might have been a Jewish friend of the family, so Wagner might actually be partly Jewish himself.
>writes an German mythology fanfic, then decides it's so good that he's going to write three prequel fanfics to develop an expanded universe
>declares that these will be so super special that they aren't operas but rather his own art form "Gesamtkunstwerk" (OC donut steel)
>meanwhile, one of his other paypigs gives him a cottage on his estate and pays all his living expenses. This paypig's wife is a poet
>Wagner starts an affair with her
>his wife finds out, and he ends up leaving to Venice. This is basically the end of their relationship.
>Finally allowed back into Germany, returns and settles down
>alongside his Germany mythology operas, he writes one which is 4 hours of edging in musical form. It's so super special that it's impossible to perform.
>Luckily, a mentally disturbed gay scrote called Ludwig becomes king of Bavaria and is a massive Wagner simp, to the point he commissions a massive castle be built inspired by his favourite Wagner operas
>Wagner realises that he can make a lot of money by being a thirst trap for said simp, and while he probably wasn't gay, he did enjoy dressing in pink satin underwear so might have been into it a bit.
>Ludwig pays off Wagner's debts and spares no expense staging his super special operas
>Eventually his 4 hours of musical edging gets performed, conducted by a guy called Hans von Bulow. He is married to Liszt's (illegitimate) daughter, Cosima.
>During rehearsals, Wagner had started an affair with Cosima who was 24 years younger than him. She gives birth to Wagner's child.
>This causes massive scandal, and he is eventually forced to leave once again. Cosima comes with him. Simp king buys them a nice Swiss villa.
>Convinces a young Nietzsche to simp for him, Nietzsche writes a whole book about how Wagner's super special operas are the best things written since the Greeks
>Wagner's wife dies, he does not attend her funeral
>Cosima is still married to Von Bulow, he does not grant her a divorce until she's had two more children with Wagner. The two children are named after characters in Wagner's fanfics
>republishes his reeeeings on Jewish music
>decides that regular opera houses aren't sufficient for his super special operas, so starts a gofundme to build the most perfect building in the world
>paypigs flock to finance it but twink king refuses
>project is about to collapse and twink king finally consents
>finally his german mythology expanded universe fanfic gets performed and is admittedly a big success
>Wagner starts getting more reactionary and writes another fanfic about an order of grail knights who are redeemed by a himbo, after their orginal leader gets syphilis from a sexy jewess. He declares that it is only allowed to be performed in his special opera house. A few "illegal" performances happened in following years, and the Wagner estate banned anybody who took part from appearing in the super special theatre.
>The premiere is to be conducted by a Jewish friend of Wagner's. Lots of screeching German nationalists write to Wagner reeeeing that a Jew should not be allowed to have such an honour. Wagner agrees, and says that he should be baptised first, before simp king steps in and tells him to stop being ridiculous.
>one final affair for old time's sake with a woman 32 years younger than him
>die in Venice at age 69, apocryphally after an argument with Cosima over another affair he might have been having
And that's really just the biographical parts. The amount of second-hand shit he caused is even more extensive, from Hitler being a big Wagner simp - and Cosima becoming a massive Hitler simp - through to music critics spending several decades slinging shit at each other over whether or not his music was actually any good.
File: 1606174459410.jpeg (203.83 KB, 749x969, B1B59B45-8E7A-461F-96D9-B1353A…)
He was such a cow.
I love reading his letters to Liszt, in which Liszt frequently doesn’t reply so Wagner keeps sending more begging for a response.
File: 1609483227692.png (53.78 KB, 949x473, thatsureisaparty.PNG)
Reading about a banquet thrown for Nero (the biggest cow). It's the one where he gay married as a "bride," but the other details are entertaining
File: 1609483512982.png (59.32 KB, 672x300, whatthefuck.PNG)
samefag, I was hoping for details on this part (from wikipedia) that led me down this rabbit hole. I feel bad for laughing if they really were attacked, plus nero was awful, but holy shit best cow
File: 1609508123381.jpg (122.34 KB, 960x640, joycenoraletters.jpg)
Every time I hear or read that James Joyce is one of the most important writers of the 20th century I immediately think of those dirty letters that he wrote to his wife and it cracks me up
Historically pink was more of a masculine color in Anglo circles because many military unforms were red and pink was just pale red back then.
Colors weren't gendered the way they are today until the 1930s when the concept was pushed as a way to get people to spend more money on baby items.
File: 1609510874126.jpeg (499.92 KB, 828x527, 1BB48669-837C-4BE4-B844-2D2D39…)
samefag but what the FUCK? these cannot be real, i swear. i wish you’d never posted this so i would never have looked these letters up
>no use continuing! you can guess why!
These are hilarious and I need MORE
Bless this thread
As much as these are amusing, if you've read any Joyce then it's not that surprising: Joyce was a massive degenerate coomer. Ulysses - apart from the central plot point being about cucking - has sissification sections, plenty of scat references, an extended voyeur chapter, and then plenty more besides.
Had Joyce been alive in the age of internet porn, I suspect he wouldn't have bothered writing because all he would have had the means to indulge all his fetishes.
File: 1609670953274.jpeg (90.31 KB, 750x329, 01ADF1AC-AF01-4E19-B3BD-6AC15B…)
I think the “satin” part is more of the issue and the detail of it being pink is only seen as weird through a modern lens as >>706508
wrote. It’s claimed he wore satin due to a skin condition but afaik it was considered feminine. There are also very detailed letters he sent to dressmakers asking for women’s clothes. His wife wrote her diary every day yet never mentioned receiving the clothes.
It’s possible he bought them for a lover, but he was broke, such clothes were expensive and he was incredibly self-centred. Personally I think he was a crossdresser (not gay or trans) and his wife might have known but not recorded it for obvious reasons.
File: 1609684231210.jpg (310.5 KB, 831x1008, Ayn_Rand_(1943_Talbot_portrait…)
Can we call her the queen of "not like the other girls pick me" bitch? Besides being massive hypocrite…
In Mozart's case, it was more "poopoo funny" than "poopoo sexy."
I guess it's something about the creative world which attracts oddities: people are more willing to overlook abnormal behaviour if it's tied to abnormal production.
File: 1618365339249.jpg (137.33 KB, 492x500, ALMADA~1.JPG)
>fake DID to get clout for his poems
>once wrote a fake letter pretending to be his alter calling himself smart
>makes whole fanfiction about his 30 billion alters
>astrology thot that makes astral charts of his own alters
>responsible for coca cola's advertising campaign in Portugal, accidentally gets it illegalised by making a slogan that made it sound even more like a drug and triggering the country's dictator
>probably dies from being an alcoholic
>you have 50% chance of being forced to read fanfic about him in portuguese school
Didn't see this until now, but… she was extremely pro capitalism and promoted individualism focused on pure self interest ("objectivism"), idealizing elites as visionary geniuses over the workers that actually keep their businesses running. CEOs and rich people in general fucking adore her, which should tell you enough in itself. She dismissed a scene of her character getting raped with "she wanted it tho" and then fucked one of her proteges in real life and freaked out when he cheated on her with a younger woman. But hey, he was just focusing on self interest per her instruction, right? She also smoked like crazy and got lung cancer, had to have surgery to save her life, and when her followers said hey maybe you should tell all the people copying you that it isn't safe, she didn't want to admit she was wrong (despite supposedly idolizing ~logic~ and ~facts~) so she didn't say shit. Basically, a giant fucking hypocrite who also managed to push America even further down the path of destructive, soul-sucking capitalism in the process of being an asshole in her personal life.
If the internet was around when he was alive, he'd so be a troll in comment sections. He was such a fucking edgelord.
>George and Paul wrote better Beatles songs anyway.
Funny thing kind of related this. He got all pissed off when George was making more friends with musicians than him after the Beatles broke up because he thought George wasn't as good of a musician as him. I guess he was too egotistical to realize that others would rather be around someone humble, too.
>Had a ton of simps pulling their hair out over him despite looking like this./I think most people under the age of forty are aware of and acknowledge Lennon's shittyness. It's like the second thing that gets brought up in most conversations about the Beatles.
Boomers/old music media/old Beatles historians see him as the fucking second coming of Christ. Younger Beatles fans seem to get it that the others were done dirty by the music media and historians, especially George and get it that even they're flawed. I always thought those historians were hypocrites for going on for about always bitter and serious George was (which he wasn't), when John was such a vitriolic person.
File: 1621542627974.jpeg (77.66 KB, 807x454, 1_dozv8xfu8nqg0-5o8fta2q.jpeg)
Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb are some of the most underrated and overlooked cows in true crime history.
>Both were born into wealthy families. Also both were in gifted courses as boys, so you know they grew up smelling their own farts.
>Met at the University of Chicago were they jack each off in insufferableness and get really into everyone's favorite edgelord writer Nietzsche.
>Not only take the concept of Nietzsche's "Ubermenschen" a bit too literally but thinks it applies to both of them because they were both told they were special too many times growing up.
>Start to think they are above everyone else and because of this and could do anything without consequences. This starts a crime spree which includes stealing and arson.
>Then both of them want to commit the "perfect crime" of murder, thinking they would get away with it.
>Which leads them to kidnap Bobby Franks, a 14 year old boy who was the 2nd cousin of Loeb.
>They kill him
>Body is found and police start investigating. Leopold literally tells the police that he were to kill anyone, it would've been Bobby Franks (lmao)
>Police quickly figure out that the duo killed Franks. And this was 1924, long before DNA testing, so you know they did a really bad job at covering their tracks. Leopold was dumb enough to leave his super expensive glasses at the scene of the crime.
>As soon as the heat is on each other, the two sell each other out and downplay their own actual involvement.
>Both get sentenced to life in prison. Loeb ends up dying in prison at 30 after being attacked by another inmate. Leopold meanwhile starts a sob story of writing a book in order to get parole. It ends up working in 1958. Fucks off to Puerto Rico and dies there in 1971
>Might of been gay lovers
>That fucking unibrow on Leopold.
If lolcow existed during the 1920s, you just know anons would mock their pretentiousness. But then the tread would inevitably get shitted up by WKs and hybristophfags. Similarly, they would be extremely milky if they existed today. I imagine that the dumb shit they would post on social media would end up in r/iamverysmart quite often.
File: 1622177074499.jpg (229.1 KB, 1280x843, 1280px-thumbnail.jpg)
Thanks! I'm sad these threads aren't more popular. I love analyzing historical people and how they would fit into modern lolcow internet culture.
Another great example is Phyllis Schlafly aka the original tradthot. She preached about traditionalism and how women should primarily be housewives and babymakers despite the fact that she had a law degree and quite an extensive work history outside of being a wife and mother.
File: 1622180130328.jpg (355.83 KB, 1329x2000, 4p6w-KX042VBohk_GjOdDg.jpg)
This guy raped kids in Tunisia
My personal protocol is that every single philosophy scrote with a fixation on philosophizing about sex gets immediately preemptively labelled as a lolcow (and possible child rapist)
Being French is also immediately suspicious
File: 1622192860527.jpg (200.64 KB, 900x750, lautrec.jpg)
the embodiment of (disowned) daddy's frat boys
File: 1622193517378.jpg (41.74 KB, 474x650, picasso.jpg)
I'm surprised that Pablo Picasso hasn't been posted yet
File: 1622195193819.jpg (95.02 KB, 474x711, vg.jpg)
>couldn't financially sustain himself
>was infuriated with his cousin
>'You clearly do not know what a young woman is like, God damn it! A woman must have hips, buttocks, a pelvis in which she can carry a baby!'
>had abandonment issues
>literally a schizo
anon read right-wing women by dworkin, I’m not a terf
but it’ll answer your question
File: 1622198988683.jpg (59.1 KB, 1170x727, pvu7bnibf8t61.jpg)
Had he'd been an internet user I feel like people would fuck with him like this
I mentioned that in another thread once, but in regard to Matzneff, and a French anon said that at the 70s and 80s those types of thoughts were "trendy" so that period was a pedo's dream
Fortunately it seems nowadays you can't get away with it so openly as back then, and at least some months ago there was an actual uproar about it>>>/ot/743674
same anon from >>818065
I'm a retard and I just noticed I accidentally forgot to tag the anon I was answering too
I was talking about >>817940
File: 1623633275644.jpg (16.46 KB, 234x294, tinytim.jpg)
surprised nobody mentioned him
>already elderly parents basically lived in a hole in the wall apartment in nyc with no doors
>was a NEET who refused to get a job and sung on street corners for cash
>has a one sided relationship with a dude that basically destroys his life and view of love
>eventually joins the freakshow and is billed as the "human canary"
>becomes friends with bob dylan and becomes obsessed with him
>goes on laugh in where he becomes famous and gets humiliated but is happy that people recognize him
>marries a teenage girl he just met a month before on the johnny carson show, he was 37
>while recording his album, would refuse to use the bathrooms in the studio and would walk 10 blocks to his parents apartment and then return hours later
>was obsessed with christianity despite being jewish, eventually converted and refused to have intercourse with any woman he wasnt married to (but still fucked groupies despite being busted)
>teenage wife divorces him after miscarriage despite him trying to blackmail her with religion
>plays to charles manson and the manson family while he's in california
>gets new manager, who is part of the mafia and eventually all his money disappears
>popularity wanes, becomes obsessed with releasing whatever music genre is popular
>eventually broke enough that he retires to performing with the circus
>marries a young "model" who cheats on him with donald trump
>becomes a guest on howard stern, and talks about wearing diapers and his obsession with cleaning and beauty products
>marries a woman who was his fan since she was a child after she tracks him down living at a motel
>said woman now schizoposts about jesus and israel now on facebook
>dies on stage because he refused to stop performing despite everyone telling him to
this is just the tip of the iceberg
File: 1623633675438.jpg (21.28 KB, 420x669, ETmH1eFXkAE6-xe.jpg)
you posted post-wall lennon, he was better looking in his heyday. but he (and yoko) were complete lolcows who surrounded themselves with other grifters in the 70s
not really, but he's the opposite of lennon (who i doubleposted below) where the more I read about him the more I'm intrigued. lennon was just bpd mommy issues narc lite, tiny tim was like turbo autist on speed >>829715
chris chan vibes def, though chris is more a henry darger type since tiny was remarkably socially adjusted despite the tism
File: 1623641666824.jpg (97.8 KB, 495x329, tumblr_lziqtyPmNo1rpho37o1_500…)
I don't think he'd be a lolcow, honestly. I feel bad for the fucker, he grew up in a time when mental health was treated with being thrown into an asylum. He was diagnosed with epilepsy, although he may have had that and syphilis at the same time. He also got scurvy from giving peasants and miners most of his food. Poor guy.
File: 1623669453583.jpg (88.05 KB, 555x400, goddamnit_karl.jpg)
>complete nerd about dialectics
>read fanfic made by a scrote larping as a native American and used it as a large basis for his theory
>wrote an entire book just seething about a person he knew irl
>stans name themselves after him
>would probably fall down the alt right pipeline nowadays
>unironically had a freemason phase
That side cap fucking slaps tho, he should have started selling it as his own merch.
Funny how so many leaders and dictators were so recognizable for their headwear btw.
File: 1625307520254.jpg (386.61 KB, 800x1236, 800px-François_Clouet_-_Mary,_…)
Was going to put Ayn Rand but someone beat me to it.
Kind of surprised Mary Stuart hasn't been mentioned yet. She might not warrant a whole thread herself but her situation probably would.
>grew up in France, married to a French prince, after he dies she moves to Scotland
>marries Lord Darnley, an alcoholic who is probably going mad from syphilis
>Darnley kills Mary's close friend/advisor Rizzio at a dinner party in front of a pregnant Mary
>Mary has Darnley's child, who later becomes King James (yes, that King James)
>Darnley is murdered mysteriously
>Mary remarries to Lord Bothwell immediately
>it is speculated that Mary and Bothwell conspired Darnley's murder
>Bothwell escapes to Scandinavia and Mary gets imprisoned
edited and reposted because I put events in the wrong order lol
Mary QoS is IMO one of the most interesting historical figures but I wouldn’t call her a cow. Darnley was a total cow, though. Practically everyone who knew him for more than five minutes thought he was a huge douche. There’s a theory he killed Rizzio in front of her (by stabbing him >50 times like an unhinged scrote) to get her to miscarry and force her to make him her successor to the crown if she died childless. He later flat out denied he had anything to do with the murder despite there being a lot of eyewitnesses. I don’t know if she was involved in his murder (by explosion!) but I wouldn’t blame her if she was.
Their son James VI/I was a cow too.
File: 1630253133091.jpg (26.71 KB, 400x400, Cromwell_Holding_Bisexual_flag…)
This massive autistic tard cunt
He colonized Ireland. He literally slaughtered hundreds of thousands and destroyed the Irish culture and Language because they weren't being Christ right, burned down images of The Virgin Mary abolished the Monarchy but made himself Lord Protector who had even more authority then the king also he banned Christmas, Dancing, Theater, Alcohol and Sports
also created the "Soldiers bible" for his men which was just quotes from the Old Testament talking about killing people and violence
would probably convert to Islam and join ISIS if he was alive today
So many dictators were/are cows, if they weren't mass murderers they'd be hilarious
>Mao Zedong never brushed his teeth because "tigers don't brush their fangs, why should I?" so his gums got infected and oozed pus>Adolf Hitler injecting himself with bull semen to boost his libido>Papa Doc going on a nation wide black dog killing spree because he believed that his would-be uspurer turned into a black dog to escape capture>The entire fucking Kim family
I wish I lived in the alternate reality where these people never achieved power and were only able to post about themselves online
File: 1630276449570.jpg (213.93 KB, 400x532, tumblr_mtnd0eBQys1qcu0j0o1_400…)
Marx wrote several
books because of irl grudges. Stirner is one example, but there's also this:
>>In 1846, Marx wrote a letter to Proudhon, inviting him to be his Paris correspondent and warning him of the "parasite" Karl Grün. Proudhon, however, was on good terms with Grün and told Marx that there would be no cooperation between them unless he helped Grün with the German translation of Proudhon’s "The Philosophy of Poverty". Marx responded by writing "The Poverty of Philosophy", a book about how Proudhon doesn’t know shit about Ricardo and Hegel.
File: 1630357054735.jpg (18.01 KB, 474x368, Mackenzie_King.jpg)
maybe, just maybe
File: 1630357472911.jpg (11.74 KB, 220x334, Frederica_of_Hanover.jpg)
File: 1630357639435.jpg (9.35 KB, 201x251, Wilhelm_II.jpg)
last but not least
I would definitely hit it to be honest
(Pls don't ban mods, there's nothing about her in the catalog)
And while you're at it, do it for all the other cows you posted.
What's the milk? There's no insta profiles so that I can check for myself. You think we're here to read history books? Spoonfeed drama
File: 1630358174248.jpeg (121.32 KB, 728x679, 37366038-5C7C-4D9A-A5A6-1C9BAB…)
She’s not dead but I am convinced Camilla Parker would be a-logging about Diana and be posted in the skinwalker thread.
Lmao. I remember my mom taking me to a Lewis Carrol exhibit at some museum when I was 10 or 11. I was excited because I thought it was gonna be artwork based on Alice and Wonderland and I liked the Disney version growing up. Instead, there were a bunch of pictures of half naked little girls. Confused, I asked my mom about it and her response was “Oh he might of been a pedo btw.”
Weird experience. Still like Alice and Wonderland though, although Carroll can get fucked however. Sage for blogposting.
File: 1630609456568.jpeg (72.3 KB, 800x600, 946F708C-5ECC-4530-90D7-D64F2D…)
They’re not all dead yet but could imagine the craziness if lolcow and social media were around during the Manson family days? I feel like in the beginning, they would have a strong but niche following with farmers mostly talking about their hygiene, crappy music, drug use, and 30 something Charlie constantly having sex with underaged girls. But as soon as the murders start happening, the whole thing would blow up and everybody and their mom would be aware of them, much like how the recent Chris Chan incest saga made him visible to normies.
File: 1630610021745.jpg (7.63 KB, 221x228, 1628993414462.jpg)
>>896863>and my sister has a crush on him lol
wait what!! can you tell me why your sister says she has a crush on him
I'm super curious
File: 1630627757059.png (194.45 KB, 423x560, Bildschirmfoto 2014-05-25 um 1…)
Eh, he was pretty freaking hilarious, a great writer, and not nearly as right-wing as people make him out to be. Downside is him being a giant woman-hating nerd who died of syphilis.
Most of his bad rep comes from his sister who was a literal Nazi and edited his work after his death. He basically told Richard Wagner to fuck off due to his anti-Semitism so I don't think Hitler and him would have vibed all that well.
I recommend reading "On the Use & Abuse of History for Life" (short essay).
File: 1630627945780.png (50.4 KB, 488x223, Nietzsche German Spirit.png)
samefag. example of Nietzsche telling Nazis to go fuck themselves.
File: 1630629556221.png (266.35 KB, 500x720, 567.png)
Heidegger was a much bigger German lolcow than Nietzsche. Also turned Hannah Arendt into a lolcow by association. And all the French philosophers are lolcows for their Heidegger obsession among other things.
File: 1630643906388.jpg (1.06 MB, 1986x3000, ccc.jpg)
I mean while his awfulness gets exaggerated, he did do some good for England
he tried England more fairer and equal for all Christians, temporally banned the slave trade in the New World and created one of the most advanced and effectives Armies in the entire world at the time
File: 1631771038727.jpg (585.69 KB, 617x912, Akiko_Yosano_posing_by_window.…)
Yosano Akiko is a weird one, she was an incredibly influential and popular early 20th Century Japanese feminist and pacifist, very scandalous for her time, mostly cause of her love poems and Novels featuring active female protagonists seeking out male partners and sex(which was a big taboo in Japanese society), she publicly denounced the Japanese government for the mistreatment of Koreans and wars with Russia and China
now you might be thinking that so far she seems like a decent person, well her cow behavior for which she's famous for manifested in the 1930's, no one knows what it was exactly but she embraced Japanese Ultra Nationalism and embraced the philosophy of Bushido. but here's the thing she still held firmly held feminist beliefs and actually combined them with Japanese Ultra Nationalism
In her idealized world the man serves as a soldier who dies for his nation and his emperor, any man who didn't wanna die in war was a sissy and should kill themselves, while women should hold the Homefront and take care of the economy
>In her poem "Citizens of Japan, A Morning Song" published in June 1932, Yosano embraced Bushido as she praised a Japanese soldier for dying for the Emperor at the First Battle of Shanghai as she described how the soldier "scatters" his body when he is blown apart as a "human bomb". Yosano called the "scattered" body of the soldier "purer than a flower, giving life to a samurai's honor". Unlike the Kimi, Yosano called for Japanese women to "unify in loyalty" for the "cause of the Emperor's forces". The American scholar Steven Robson noted that unlike the Kimi, which like the rest of Yosano's early poetry was extremely innovative, Citizens of Japan is cliche-ridden as Yosano used well-known phrases like "a samurai's honor" taken straight from the ultra-nationalist press without developing a vocabulary of her own. Yosano ended her poem by praising Bushido, declaring that the "purest" act a Japanese man could perform was to die for the Emperor in battle and urged the Kwantung Army forward onward in the conquest of Manchuria "through suffering a hundredfold" to "smash the sissified dreams of compromise".
her own son died in the war and she praised him and called him a martyr
File: 1631809897978.jpg (76.28 KB, 900x600, ragnar-redbeard-might-is-right…)
nta, I think Nietzsche was a fucking delusional loser but his philosophy and belief were consistent and solely his own, I dislike people misinterpreting and adding beliefs upon him that he publicly denounced, such as anti-Semitism and ethnic nationalism
The philosophy that a lot of people think Nietzsche espoused is actually more found in the sole work of Arthur Desmond also knows as RAGNAR REDBEARD
File: 1631844124736.jpg (61.04 KB, 486x466, SusanSontag1979.jpg)
>Sontag received angry criticism for her remarks in The New Yorker (September 24, 2001) about the immediate aftermath of 9/11. In her commentary, she referred to the attacks as a "monstrous dose of reality" and criticized U.S. public officials and media commentators for trying to convince the American public that "everything is O.K." Specifically, she opposed the idea that the perpetrators were "cowards," a comment George W. Bush made among other remarks on September 11. Rather, she argued the country should see the terrorists' actions not as "a 'cowardly' attack on 'civilization' or 'liberty' or 'humanity' or 'the free world' but an attack on the world's self-proclaimed superpower, undertaken as a consequence of specific American alliances and actions."
Hold on, she also claimed
White civilization was all pure cancer>If America is the culmination of Western white civilization, as everyone from the Left to the Right declares, then there must be something terribly wrong with Western white civilization. This is a painful truth; few of us want to go that far…. The truth is that Mozart, Pascal, Boolean algebra, Shakespeare, parliamentary government, baroque churches, Newton, the emancipation of women, Kant, Marx, Balanchine ballets, et al, don't redeem what this particular civilization has wrought upon the world. The white race is the cancer of human history; it is the white race and it alone—its ideologies and inventions—which eradicates autonomous civilizations wherever it spreads, which has upset the ecological balance of the planet, which now threatens the very existence of life itself.
So Yeah, she just seems like another pretentious liberal white women, who also plagiarized the works of other
>Ellen Lee accused Sontag of plagiarism when Lee discovered at least twelve passages in In America (1999) that were similar to, or copied from, passages in four other books about Helena Modjeska without attribution. Sontag said about using the passages, "All of us who deal with real characters in history transcribe and adopt original sources in the original domain. I've used these sources and I've completely transformed them. There's a larger argument to be made that all of literature is a series of references and allusions.">In a 2007 letter to the editor of the Times Literary Supplement, John Lavagnino identified an unattributed citation from Roland Barthes' 1970 essay "S/Z" in Sontag's 2004 speech "At the Same Time: The Novelist and Moral Reasoning," delivered as the Nadine Gordimer Lecture in March 2004. Further research led Lavagnino to identify several passages which appeared to have been taken without attribution from an essay on hypertext fiction by Laura Miller, originally published in the New York Times Book Review six years earlier. Writing for the Observer, Michael Calderone interviewed Sontag's publisher about the allegations, who argued, “This was a speech, not a formal essay,” and that “Susan herself never prepared it for publication
File: 1633909572797.jpg (20.81 KB, 232x324, Sayyid_Qutb.jpg)
May I Introduce you all to Sayyid Qutb, the father of modern salafi jihadism, see any two bit mullah could rile up an uneducated peasant into blowing himself up but Qutb created a comprehensive and revamped version of jihadism made for the inteligencia and upper class society
he was also a racist, misogynistic, hypothetical incel
>Qutb never married, in part because of his steadfast religious convictions. While the urban Egyptian society he lived in was becoming more Westernized, Qutb believed the Quran taught women that 'Men are the managers of women's affairs …' Qutb lamented to his readers that he was never able to find a woman of sufficient "moral purity and discretion" and had to reconcile himself to bachelorhood.
>Qutb noted with disapproval the openly displayed sexuality of American women:
>the American girl is well acquainted with her body's seductive capacity. She knows it lies in the face, and in expressive eyes, and thirsty lips. She knows seductiveness lies in the round breasts, the full buttocks, and in the shapely thighs, sleek legs – and she shows all this and does not hide it, These curvy jezebels then pursue boys with wide, strapping chests and ox muscles
>He also commented on the American taste in arts:
>The American is primitive in his artistic taste, both in what he enjoys as art and in his own artistic works. "Jazz" music is his music of choice. This is that music that the Negroes invented to satisfy their primitive inclinations, as well as their desire to be noisy on the one hand and to excite bestial tendencies on the other. The American's intoxication in "jazz" music does not reach its full completion until the music is accompanied by singing that is just as coarse and obnoxious as the music itself. Meanwhile, the noise of the instruments and the voices mounts, and it rings in the ears to an unbearable degree… The agitation of the multitude increases, and the voices of approval mount, and their palms ring out in vehement, continuous applause that all but deafens the ears
he may seem ridiculous(and he is) but his writings have had a massive impact upon the muslim world and has radicalized many upper class muslims who would use then use there wealth to fund and support jihadism, the most famous example of one of the men he inspired was Osama bin Laden and he also laid the groundwork of how a modern Islamic state was to be implemented which ISIS used as a guide in their short lived thiefdom
File: 1633911948664.jpeg (2.61 MB, 1370x1874, Christian_VII_1772_by_Roslin.j…)
Christian VII of Denmark, mentally ill king who was known for being addicted to masturbating among other things
File: 1633913965147.jpg (17.87 KB, 768x432, rafael-trujillo.jpg)
do I really need to elaborate on why a southern american dictator who went after little girls would be a cow
File: 1633918815802.png (9.61 KB, 578x193, polcel on lolcow.png)
>>650612>Superior people respect the superior animal.
I can imagine him running a forum about literature that would get infested with /pol/cels, and then raging out and banning all of them because some idiot tried using catlady as an insult kek.
He honestly probably wouldn't get along with /pol/ types like picrel because of their creepy cat hatred (they're mad because they think women are getting cats instead of saving muh white race).
File: 1637277065310.jpeg (262.5 KB, 1200x1221, 49E31DC6-91FF-4316-B441-662F5B…)
Same anon, but speaking of cult cows, the hypothetical Jim Jones/Peoples Temple threads would be insane as well. Just imagine the threads in the last year with the Guyana Saga and the eventual mass suicide >Jim Jones gets posted in the Unconventional Male Attractions threads with guaranteed replies of “Anon, please love yourself”
This mf posting crazy rants, probably on YouTube, anons pausing and zooming in looking for drug evidence. Til toks of the Guyana compound, everybody dancing and acting happy while anons point out how little life they have in their eyes.
Jim Jones was a horror cow and I wish we could have seen the absolute shitshow of his demented sperging (I also wish social media exposure would have help those people to not trust that rat)
File: 1641122339094.jpg (339.03 KB, 1200x1703, Emperor Incel.jpg)
Reviving the thread. Definitely this fag.
>is remembered as the most remarkable frenchman, yet 1) isn't french - corsican in fact and was bullied for it in his school to the point of developing an inferiority complex 2) in his teenage years (up to early twenties) he was a corsican nationalist; literally wrote monographies of corsican history, that were filled with his butthurt comments about France
>wrote an essay about the stupidity of love and it's harmfulness to society; and generally wrote a lot of dumb essays because he believed himself to be incredibly talented and also was an attention whore who wanted acknowledgement from others
>homophobic: when he found out that one of his peers was gay lamented about the lack of protection from authorities from "sexual depravities"
>pretty much the only reason for him liking Rousseau of all people is the latter claiming that "Corsica is the only country that has the potential to reach democracy"
>wrote a 19th century version of ya fanfic where his self-insert married, had children and lived in a pure trad heaven with a girl he had a crush on during that time, but because he is such a drama king he couldnt help but make an 3edgy5u twist of the girl cheating on the self-insert and him gloriously sacrificing himself in a war because of it.
>was so boorish, ugly and unnatractive that no woman wanted to fuck him; his first time was with a prostitute
>had a 4 cm (1.5 inch) penis
>unsurprisingly, was a scornful incel, who harassed women with his dumb comments (like "My how red do you look in this dress") and also made female status equal to those of children and mentally handicapped in his code; believed that the only reason women were attracted to him is because he was powerful (true, no one would naturally be attracted to such a nasty faggot; even Josephine was initially nice to him because she needed a new sponsor)
>likely raped Maria Walewska
>autist: couldn't wear new shoes so he forced his servants to wear them first and had a habit of saying dumb obnoxious shit to other people like: "Your empire is nothing but an old maid servant; accustomed to being raped by everyone!"
>liked visiting masquerades: thought he was safe to talk shit about others and gossip here, but everyone knew it was him because of his distinguishable gait and hand gestures.
>propagandist: skinwalked roman emperors in his portraits by ordering the painters to picture him in poses they have famously have been portrayed in; with the help of press managed to fool everyone that his egyptian campaign was successful, meanwhile it was a fucking mess
>tried to commit suicide at least 2 times
Kek just imagine having this creature as an emperor. Poor 19th century frogs.
File: 1641123183585.jpg (676.46 KB, 800x600, getaloadofthis.jpg)
>>1012825>liked visiting masquerades: thought he was safe to talk shit about others and gossip here, but everyone knew it was him because of his distinguishable gait and hand gestures.
I wonder what his hand gestures were like.
File: 1641123624774.png (2.41 MB, 2116x4834, IMG_4987.PNG)
Some light reading
File: 1641135618767.jpg (71.72 KB, 1125x632, gay naps.jpg)
Funny addition to his averse to homosexuality is that he said that if Czar Alexander I was a woman he would definitely marry him
I wanted to say all that shit slowly turns me into a napoleonfag (maybe a slightly ironic one) until>likely raped Maria Walewska
I need to read more on this. I briefly remember their relationship being referred to as a forbidden romance or something. Hmmm
deets on maria walewska?>>101285b9
corsica ecame french in 1798 ie right before naps was born
so he was technically a french citizen by birth, but his native language was still italian. he went from corsican nationalist to unironic frenchfag in the 1790s
In her memoirs she mentions that. And anyway her entire relationship with him was initially coercive - she was pressured into becoming his mistress for political reasons not out of her free will, so any sort of intimacy they had during it is by default is kind of fucked up, given that she had no choice to turn him down. Also >turned me into napoleonfag
Really? Kek so him being incel and using prostitutes didn't bother you? Jsyk he said shit like "Prostitutes are necessity. Otherwise men would have attacked decent women on the streets". I am pretty much a napoleonfag due to my hateboner for him.
Sorry, I meant napoleonfag in the same way people are christorians (or at least I hope that's how most of cwcfags were obsessed with him). He is a huge fucking cow. >I am pretty much a napoleonfag due to my hateboner for him.
Wait, so are you like me or do you want to dom him? lol
I'm honestly gonna have to agree with >>1013358
, but it's actually pretty impressive. A+ for effort, nonna.
Btw, I'm not sure if you mean Valera sent a letter personally (I don't know much about him) but Portugal also had half mast flags after Hitler died (for 3 days and then Salazar told everybody to never mention it again), but this was only because Salazar was autistically focused of staying neutral and "technically" you're supposed to do that when a head of state dies.
File: 1641850056570.jpg (28.85 KB, 402x402, Charles-Julius-Guiteau-235814-…)
Charles Guiteau. Most known for assassinating President Garfield in 1881
>As a young man, joins some sort of sex commune but nobody wanted to fuck him, which earned him the nickname "Charles Gitout." Also had some gay crush on the founder of the commune, John Humphrey Noyes.
>Eventually turns against his senpai, and files lawsuits against Noyes. Probably because he didn't get laid. Guiteau's own father even got secondhand embarrassment from his son and sided with Noyes over him.
>Was a lawyer but only argued one case in court
>Moves to New York in 1872 and becomes interested in the Democratic Party. Supported Democratic nominee Horace Greeley and was convinced that if Greely won, he would appoint Guiteau as minister (the modern equivalent to an ambassador) to Chile despite having absolutely no experience.
>Fucked prostitutes while being married to his wife. Also was abusive to her in general.
>Writes a book called "The Truth" but it was pretty much plagiarized from Noyes.
>In 1880, gets involved in a boat wreck. Despite him and none of his fellow passengers being injured, he was convinced that God somehow saved him, and it was a case of divine intervention.,
>Becomes interested in politics again around this time. However, he switches over to the Republican side. Initially supported Ulyssess S. Grant for president and wrote a speech in support of him. But when James Garfield won the Republican nomination over Grant, revises the speech to support Grant instead. Aside from the name change, the text itself was barely changed. Delivers this speech more than once.
>Garfield wins the presidency and Guiteau becomes convinced that he was largely responsible for his victory. Because of this, believes he should have a consulship in Vienna. Then changing his mind to Paris.
>Obviously got quite the number of rejected letters from the Garfield Administration and James G. Blaine, the Secretary of State at the time, literally tells him to fuck off in person.
>Gets so triggered from this interaction, that he decides to kill Garfield because his administration wasn't "appreciative" of him.
>When choosing the gun for the murder, he picks out a revolver with an ivory handle because he thought it would look cool in a museum afterwards.
>Shoots Garfield on July 2, 1881. Garfield dies of his wounds two months later. The shot itself wasn't wasn't even lethal. Garfield only died because the doctors fucked up by not washing their hands or instruments.
>Guiteau obviously gets indicted for murder.
>Like any cow in court, he insisted on representing himself but wasn't successful. Got a lawyer named Leigh Robinson to defend him. Robinson quits after a week, probably because he got tired of Guiteau's bullshit. Gets replaced by George Scoville (who was married to Guiteau's sister) and had to defend him because no one else wanted to.
>Generally acted like a jackass during court. Also was something of a 19th Century male Jodi Arias, as he seemed to like the attention of the press, even though it was negative.
>Argues that President Chester. A. Arthur (who was vice president during Garfield's presidency) should acquit him because he increased Arthur's salary by making him president.
>Gets convicted and sentenced to death.
>Basically, acted like an attention whore on his trip to the gallows.
>Is believed to have Narcissictic Personality Disorder.
Virtually all assassins of American Presidents were cows (or are, if you count Hinkely) but this guy really takes the cake.
File: 1642010614391.png (188.82 KB, 680x676, 9E0039A2-E974-4A90-AAB3-5956AC…)
>>1022713>As a young man, joins some sort of sex commune but nobody wanted to fuck him, which earned him the nickname "Charles Gitout."
File: 1647926129525.png (688.97 KB, 828x1417, 1647926087233.png)
Mary Shelly was such a dramatic queen and I love her for it
>she had sex on her mother's gravestone to honor her and so that she could show how much of a woman she had become
>she carried around her husband's heart in a glass jar
>when she got older she placed it she placed it in her desk and wrapped it in pages from his poems
My favorite part is when all the best pagans and he get together and they're like "damn YOU'RE Dante? yeah, we heard about you wow hello we're Homer, Horace, Ovid, and Lucan and we're big fans" and then fucking Virgil just smiles and nods and they walk around together with Dante becoming the sixth of their crew.
At least in Purgatorio he had enough insight while checking out the temporary punishment for pride he says "damn i'm going to be here for a long time lol."
File: 1648025007554.png (507.94 KB, 1200x1200, fb-ulysses-grant-2.png)
Henry Adams on Ulysses S. Grant
>Grant has no right to exist. He belongs in a cave wearing skins. He should have gone extinct tens of thousands of years ago
File: 1648050710698.jpg (408.72 KB, 1420x1200, 1571803257158.jpg)
File: 1648492640214.jpeg (2.19 MB, 2578x3392, C2B6BF6B-70D3-48E5-A8C9-FBDC27…)
Idk if this is the right thread for this but who would be the historical ‘unconventionally attractive guy that has a whole series of containment threads dedicated to him’ equivalent?
Anyway, I feel like Elvis would get posted in the celebricows thread at least a couple of times. I’m imagine it would mostly be anons posting about his substance abuse, how much he was ballooning in weight as well as pointing out the monstrous meals/portions he would eat
File: 1648765079150.jpeg (46.41 KB, 640x480, 5AF0DEE0-5DD3-486B-8933-AE6886…)
Someone in the confession thread asked for Jimmy Savile to be posted here. Strap in burgers, this one’s deep in horrorcow territory.>British media personality who started his career as a radio DJ in the 60s>Soon gets gig hosting Top of the Pops music show and later his own TV show Jim’ll Fix It where he granted kids wishes>made a huge name for himself as a fundraiser and philanthropist, including volunteering and managing hospitals and psych wards throughout England>regarded by many as a national treasure for thirty years despite being a total uggo with no talent or real charm>throughout his whole career there were rumours that he was a kiddy fiddler, but any public mention of it was shut down by the BBC and kept out of newspapers>Johnny Rotten from the Sex Pistols called him a seedy hypocrite on BBC radio back in the 70s and was banned from their shows for years afterward: https://youtu.be/v4OzI9GYag0>not long after he died in 2011 an exposé documentary ran with interviews from women who said that Jimmy Savile molested them as children>the confirmed number of victims is 450 with it being that there are hundreds more>he was so brazen that he groped a girl at the end of one of his shows on television: https://youtu.be/NxSnQ6K4guA>staff who worked at the hospitals he volunteered at in Leeds have given interviews saying that everyone knew he was dangerous, and yet he was given the keys to childrens wards and would “do the evening rounds”. >Nurses have said that they would tell the children to pretend to be asleep if they ever heard him come into the wards after dark>he also interfered with the dead, posing and taking lewd photos of corpses in the mortuaries of the hospitals he worked at and performing oral sex on them. He also stole their jewellery and fashioned a glass eye from an old man’s body into a ring, then bragging about it to ward nurses. https://amp.theguardian.com/media/2014/jun/26/savile-bodies-sex-acts-corpses-glass-eyes-mortuary>his victims ranged in age from 5 to 75 and his last known victim he abused when he was 82>literally too many horrific crimes to list here, in a year he went from being a beloved icon of British media to the most prolific sex offender in British history>despite this he was knighted in the 90s and very close with the royal family, as well as claiming to be a devout catholic and meeting the pope.>his offences were so many, varied and horrific that it’s been argued that the fallout of his behaviour has changed the perception of SA victims in the UK, and they are now treated with more dignity and confidence than they were before he was exposed >lots of people now claim online that their parents never let them watch his shows or write to him and that Leeds locals told their kids to stay away from him if they ever saw him out in public>there’s a standing theory that no one actually liked him as much as his legacy suggests, and that he was instead put everywhere by his fellow pedos in the high ranks of the BBC as a honeypot for young children
Imagine the horrific offending of Esptein, the power and influence of Weinstein, and the media presence of Cosby. Combine that all into one person and boost all of those qualities by 20-30%, and you’ve got Savile.
So thousands of people knew he was a deranged pedo and nobody tried to do anything about it when he was alive? I'm not talking about victims
but about witnesses like the nurses.
Pedos are incredibly skilled manipulators, because they spend their whole lives convincing the world and themselves that they’re normal when they’re not. On top of that Savile had huge wealth and influence, and most of the people who had the power to shut him down were either in on it themselves or had something being held over them. He was interviewed by Louis Theroux back in the 2000s and before they’d barely sat down he told Louis he knew where he lived and recited Louis’ home address back to him. The public image of him as a beloved entertainer also ensured that if anything big came out about him that the public and press would do the hard work of shutting down the accusers for him.
Always watch out for the celebrity males who have no discernible skill, talent or fan base and yet keep showing up everywhere and being praised by the press. Odds are they know something they shouldn’t or are doing something they really shouldn’t and have dirt on the others doing it.
I first read that as Jerry Lewis and I was like “wtf that’s random.” Then I saw the “Lee” and it automatically made more sense.
Speaking of Jerry Lee Lewis, he’s (yes I used present tense because he’s still alive, somehow) a fucking horrorcow. Dude married his 13 year old cousin.
File: 1655319719802.jpeg (262.4 KB, 797x1200, 022CDFE0-1745-449F-A9CE-0662BE…)
Sid vicious and Nancy Spungen would’ve been great lolcows. Both were massive junkies who enabled each other and often engaged in lengthy physical fights. Sid was pretty unhinged and violent due to his drug abuse and wasn’t even a particularly skilled musician, but was popular amongst the punk subculture because he nailed the attitude. He really cared about Nancy, with his whole world seeming to revolve her. Nancy was manipulative and would constantly suicide-bait. Anons here would probably callNancy a pickme for being a groupie and a ‘sex worker’. The whole court case about how Sid might’ve killed Nancy would’ve been on the same level as the Depp vs Amber Heard trials. Idk if anons would side with That being said, I feel like I would see Sid being posted in the unconventional male attractions thread and at least one anon caping for him by saying that he wasn’t a misogynist, despite him being a psycho junkie
the original toxic
power couple in music history. the blueprint
File: 1669364695115.jpg (1.49 MB, 1771x3000, Titian_-_Portrait_of_Charles_V…)
Charles the V was actually one of the more stable and efficient Hapsburg rulers, however he slept his own step-grandmother(who was biologically his first cousin)
File: 1669388044572.jpg (124.32 KB, 1024x1600, spanish_habsburgs_1.jpg)
not as bad as Charles II of spain, that man was doomed before he was ever born
File: 1669388384339.jpg (49.39 KB, 768x1024, CII.jpg)
This was the end result of 200 years of inbreeding, Charles the II of Spain, note most paintings of royalty were often flattering and removed imperfections, this portrait is the best face an artist can put on him and still be recognizable, so you can only imagine what he actually looked like
File: 1669503061007.jpg (180.88 KB, 815x1220, dazai.jpg)
he would have at least 3 threads about him
File: 1669504898012.png (374.83 KB, 1064x284, loll.png)
no longer human is fun to hate-read through
My favorite passage, not just in relation to his embellishment but out of the entire book, was>It if were possible, I felt, I would like to keep a twenty-four hours a day surveillance over Takeichi, never stirring from him, morning, noon or night, to make sure that he did not divulge the secret. I brooded over what I should do: I would devote the hours spent with him to persuading him that my antics were not "on purpose" but the genuine article; if things went well I would like to become his inseparable friend; but if this proved utterly impossible, I had no choice but to pray for his death.
I actually laughed when I read that part lol
File: 1670481671029.jpeg (2.11 MB, 1498x1961, 58171E29-60BF-468A-A618-F72B64…)
I’m honestly surprised nobody had mentioned Marie Antoinette
File: 1670483913903.jpeg (5.57 MB, 1875x2717, 1C00C288-17FA-4B40-A1AE-DD475D…)
what kills me is that charles II had a full sibling, margarita theresa, who was a tad inbred-looking and had frail health but was not at all deformed or disabled, whereas he was misshapen and retarded. it really is a genetic lottery and the guy lost hard
File: 1670488608580.jpg (Spoiler Image, 301.31 KB, 1527x1588, olaf-pozoga-charles2.jpg)
Charles II most likely looked closer to this.
File: 1673899619957.jpg (53.83 KB, 289x389, Screenshot_20230116-130545_Chr…)
I know this is late but I'm indigenous (23andme confirmed) and I'm super white and not all chiseled like how natives look, I'm Chicano and most people assume I'm like mostly spanish but nope I'm straight yacqui. I think she looks like she could be half. >>657925
I didn't know her ugly amphibian cheated on her with her sister and then she fucked this
out of revenge kek she just got ugly man dick it seems I'm gonna look at that Wikipedia page and see if I get proven otherwise
File: 1675827590201.jpg (37.71 KB, 633x588, Tut.jpg)
New Genealogical evidence suggests Tut's mom was possibly also his grandma, So his mom gave birth to his dad, then his dad impregnated his mom.
So his father is also his brother.https://www.livescience.com/58401-statue-of-king-tut-grandmother-possibly-discovered.html
File: 1675973020296.jpg (2.09 MB, 4794x10000, 69vea6xucvi91.jpg)
what's funny is that the incest tradition was even adopted by foreign-born dynasties that ruled Egypt, the Hyksos, the many Berber dynasties, the Kushites and Hellenic Macedonians, all of whom eventually followed the incest traditions that were practiced by the Egyptian nobility (it was at a point where the word for brother and lover was the same in ancient Egyptian) like the first 2 generations of the ptolemaic dynasty married local nobility but as they assimilated they ended allowing marriages between brothers and sisters
File: 1679647444175.jpg (392.35 KB, 1354x1920, lzWizi8puQ9e.jpg)
>Artemisia II of Caria was married to her brother, Mausolus, who was the ruler of Caria.
>Their marriage was a political and not uncommon in ancient times. particularly those in the eastern Mediterranean. the ruling family that Artemisia and Mausolus belonged to, were known to practice this form of marriage in order to maintain their power and wealth.
>Despite the political nature of their marriage, They were noted to be in love with each other, the close relationship between Mausolus and Artemisia is illustrated in the planning and construction of the tomb, which Artemisia oversaw and which was intended to be a lasting monument to her husband and their shared rule of Caria.
>After Mausolus died, Artemisia took control of Caria and continued to rule until her death.
>Artemisia was so bereaved by the death of her brusband that she went into a depression and drank his ashes
>The reasons behind Artemisia II of Caria's supposed drinking of her brother/husband's ashes are unclear and debated among historians. Some sources suggest that it was a common practice for grieving spouses to mix the ashes of their deceased partners with wine or water and drink it as a way of showing devotion and ensuring that the spirit of the deceased remained with them
File: 1679665972736.jpg (79.02 KB, 949x596, Screenshot_20230324_094627_Fir…)
while diana was definitely a victim of charles and the rest of the royal family, she also was definitely a bpd-cow in her own right
>super bullimic, threw up 5x a day
>threw herself down the stairs while pregnant for attention
>had several notorious affairs
>went on tv to air out all of the dirty laundry in her marriage
>schizo tendencies, believed she was going to be murdered
>when her boyfriend of multiple years, dr. hasnat khan didn't want to get married, she instantly left him and started jetsetting with dodi al fayed
not to mention all the drama between diana and camilla
Even with her cowish tendencies I still can't laugh at her
>grow up sheltered in a rich family>at age 16, a *~prince~*(!!) starts courting you.>nobody really cares that a 30 year old man is courting a 16 year old >instead everyone around you is like "holy shit Diana, you just won the lottery, it's the *~prince~*, you are going to be a famous queen one day!!".>accept engagement, become a teenage celebrity.>meanwhile, the 30-something year old *~prince~* is gaslighting you >flaunts his mistress in your face>they are in their 30s, you feel like a child compared to them, makes you feel like shit>also huge pressure on you for being part of royal family>you feel the only thing you have is your looks, start getting obsessive over being "perfect" even though *~prince~* and his mistress look like inbreds.>*~prince~* continues emotional abuse, along with royal family>develop mental illness and rest is history
Glad she shat on Charles live on TV, ugly inbred retard and his cow deserved it.
>>1531967>schizo tendencies, believed she was going to be murdered
I mean, she ended up being not entirely wrong.
I do agree that she did have cow tendencies though. And that she probably passed them onto her sons.
seabelts had been mandarory in france years before she died (1973 for front seats, 1990 for backseats).
that said in the 90s a lot of people didn't wear them while in the backseat and didn't take care of the belts in their car. it's entirely possible the belt was inaccessible or broken
File: 1691784583078.jpg (4.76 KB, 199x254, pobrane.jpg)
How he hasn't been mentioned yet lmao. Literary genius but with severe daddy issues, schizo tendencies and multiple failed LDRs. I used to have major crush on him until I learned he regularly visited brothels (he is still undeniably facially attractive to me but a gross rapist is a gross rapist).
Same nona here. Here’s more milk/facts (not in order)>first high profile case in the US where the lawyer tried to plead insanity for his client >one of the main reasons for the pendleton act, the first law in us history that mandated civil service exams>actually argued that james a garfield died due to medical malpractice, which he had no evidence of, but was coincidentally correct about>also argued that god wanted him to kill james a garfield and everyone was like “nah dude you’re just nuts” >tried to attack his sister with an axe>his wife obviously wanted a divorce so he intentionally fucked a prostitute so that there would be a good excuse in court>got syphilis from said prostitute which made him even more insane (neurosyphilis)>not only was super pretentious before going to the gallows, but read a poem about going to heaven a falsetto voice as if he were a child (think mickey mouse pitch) and requested an orchestra to play before he was hung (which they didnt approve of)>the bluest, creepiest eyes i have ever seen>brain is currently preserved in a museum and up on display>the museum also tried to acquire the gun but lost it
Imagine being so batshit insane that for 100 years no one batted an eye about the legal ramifications of insanity or public safety measures like civil service exams, and then you come along and everyone is like “what the fuck, we need to do something”.
He’s like when you play Bitlife and make every wrong decision you can. I can talk about this guy all day.
Also not specifically about him but>alexander graham bell tried to test out x-ray technology on james a garfield, but it wouldnt work because of the metal in the bed. He didnt catch this error, delaying the technology for a few decades.
File: 1691841370731.jpg (398.33 KB, 1005x1515, rasputin.jpg)
>Made his way into the Romanov family
>Said he could stop the bleeding of the tsarina's son, he just ordered the doctors to stop giving him aspirin which is a blood thinner
Much stuff I'm forgetting but you get the jist of it. The Romanovs were cows themselves too, completely incompetent and way too careless to rule such a big nation.
For context, birds who are pets see their humans as their mates.
Still a cow, but this particular bit, I get.
File: 1693640949062.jpg (121.62 KB, 858x1000, s-l1600.jpg)
I have really gotten into the history of "revolutionary movements" in the west post-WW2 these past few months and reading and hearding, most of these would probably be considered cows if they were born in this era, like we make fun of modern left-wing influencers. But these people were just as bad (hell, I'd argue somehow even worse) because they would constantly split apart and make broad sweeping political manifestos based on personal stuff. For example, Ti-Grace Atkinson, a radical feminist who advocated for violent revolution against men and said that all women should be Valerie Solanas. Well In 1971 a Catholic woman, slapped or attempted to slap Atkinson when she made vulgar remarks towards the Virgin Mary and Jesus. This one slap/attempted slap made Atkinson rethink her entire ideology on violence and sisterhood (because "sisterhood leads to this level of bloodshed". Like, calm down, people who disagree with you might hit you. Did you ever really comprehend it? And this applies to almost all of them - the communists, the feminists, the anarchists (oh, they were pathetic with this). No wonder the Democratic party and liberal feminism took hold.
File: 1693681135206.jpg (293.76 KB, 1294x1080, SEG1-Roxanne-Book-Biden.jpg)
I think their mentality has a lot to do with the era they were born in and its political climate. It was the peak of American wealth, where even a factory worker could afford a big home and to send all their children to college. It was also a time of the rise of the American Empire and cultural homogenization, where people no longer identified as Anglican or Calvinist, but as Christians, they no longer identified as Danish or German, but as "white". The western left which dissociated its self with the strongman rule, hierarchy, and nationalism of the eastern block, became more "introspective". They focused on social causes (that were and still are important), but they didn't care about the bigger picture, only about their own identity and feeling better about themselves.
The best(and most successful) example of this is Roxanne Dunbar-Orti, who claimed to be a working, lesbian, a separatist, and an American Indian for nearly her entire life, but she was none of these. At first, she worked with labor activism and portrayed herself as coming from a working-class background(she did come from a rural region that was involved in labor activism but they were fairly wealthy and educated). Later, she later became involved in feminism and actively participated and encouraged the need for "violent feminist revolution". She campaigned for Valerie Solanas trial and was cited as starting the first organization to advance the concept of separatist lesbian feminism.(Interestingly, she was married to a man prior to this and would be married twice more in the future.) Her longest con was with In Indigenous activism, as she was actually made an assistant professor in the newly established Native American Studies program at California. She wrote historical atrocity stories about how her Cherokee ancestors suffered, but it turned out to be entirely made up. She was not Indian, not even in the slightest, but she pretended to be one and was accepted by institutions and governments for 50 years until the late 2010s. where an American Indian journalist did some digging and the truth about her fabricated life came to light
File: 1693759984406.jpeg (42.3 KB, 360x480, IMG_0530.jpeg)
he was a massive lolcow too>anachan>manlet, like 5ft6, built like a shrimp> nicknamed little man, reportedly not just because of his height >massive case of arrested development, physically and mentally>ran the whole gamut of daddy issues, mummy issues and nanny issues>completely vapid, no hobbies besides gossip, golf and crochet, zero conversation> nepo'd his way into oxford and left wothout a degree, had never heard of jane eyre, low iq by his own admission>inly dated married women, extremely emotionally dependent in them, expecting them to mother him and bully him at the same time>wrote to his lovers in baby talk asking them to be mean to him>fell head over heels for an obvious gold digger, suicide baited her into marriage>wallis trated him like shit and humiliated him in public, he loved it>probably got into fascism because he got off to the jackboot>hated responsibility, spent his whole life iin the pursuit of booze and coom>perpetually whinged about how bad his life was >abdicated because he wanted the status but not the reponsibility, expected to just keep living the high life as a royal, went surprised pikachu when told to gtfo of the country>spent the rest of his life in exile for a woman who thought he was a retard for abdicating and never let him forget it
>his dad (who depised him) said "after my death the boy (40yo at the time) will ruin himself in twelve months">edward managed it in 10
if lolcow had been around for the abdication crisis i bet celebricows would be full of infighring over whether wallis was a based stacy or a degenerate pickme
they would probably have used him for a bit then get rid of him for being annoying
he would have kept telling them how to run the country or asked to slash the military budget to buy wallis more jewellery until one of them lost it and shot him
this is why you should never have kinky dom/sub degens in charge of anything
duh i know she wasn't, i was just saying that if she were alive right now she'd be a celebricows thread fixture
besides the real stacy move would have been to let edward abdicate and then refuse to marry him. it would have been so fucking funny
File: 1693818216404.jpg (42.27 KB, 546x800, Women_at_work_during_the_First…)
Speaking of Fascists, Here's Mary Sophia Allen(the woman on the right)
>militant suffragette and butch lesbian
>her politics beyond the vote were limited extinguishing prostitution and pornography
>during WW1 she joined the Women's Auxiliary Force and served as a police officer
>even after she was decommissioned she still kept wearing her Metropolitan Police uniform in day to day life
>hated capitalism for its exploitation of women but hated communism(i.e jews) even more
>despised that the british far-left was "infested" with communists and jews and so joined the British Union of Fascists
>would have a group of fit male blackshirts by her side as she travelled abroad and met other fascist parties and leaders
>despite being a butch lesbian she admired masculinity in men above all else, and thought the all men should be soldiers and warriors
>used to work closely with the Fascist Children’s Club and took great focus on boys and wanting them to be strong soldiers as well
>met Hitler in 1934 and declared him to be the greatest human being she would ever meet
>was arrested in WW2 for being pro-Fascist and placed under house arrest
>after the war she along with all the other Fascists in the UK were kept under a watchful eye by the MI5 and died in obscurity
File: 1693818839278.jpg (705.32 KB, 1405x1885, sissi.jpg)
our og ana queen
File: 1693858881935.jpg (100.09 KB, 285x417, Mary_Raleigh_Richardson.jpg)
There was another lesbian fascist, Mary Richardson, who actually was considered one of the most famous and extreme suffragette, for entering the National Gallery with a meat cleaver hidden under her clothes and using it to attack a painting of Venus. She felt that the painting was an insult to womanhood and the female form.
It is likely that she was a lesbian, as she never had a relationship with men in her entire life. She also blamed Jews and liberals for pornography and prostitution, and greatly admired Nazi Germany for promoting 'authentic womanhood' and removing 'filth.' She also adopted a young orphan boy. However, they had a falling out when he joined the British Army in WW2 (on the Allies' side). They reconciled some years later.
File: 1693861052943.jpg (89.55 KB, 464x368, Screenshot_20230904_165646_Fir…)
everyone always talks about lennon but nobody ever talks about george harrison's cow behavior
>shilled the hare krishna cult like nobody's business
>covered up his alcoholism, drug use, and abusive behaviors with spirituality
>got cucked by eric clapton, remained friends with him after he took his wife
>slept with ringos wife
>married his secretary who was significantly younger than him
between the two eric clapton is the far bigger cow (letting his son crawl out a window and splat on the ground, then writing a woe is me song about it, for example), but he isn't dead yet.