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HAPPY MILKSOMMAR

File: 1592434820755.jpeg (24.76 KB, 494x627, 861922F4-825A-4AAA-B78A-4DAB5E…)

No. 571636

Feel like shit? So does everyone in this thread. Vent to your heart’s content.

No. 571658

i am so sick of autogynophiles wriggling their way into my DND groups and my DMs being too doormat-y to do anything about it. if i have to deal with one more uwu tragic past catgirl selfinsert i am going to scream.

one person is playing a character who's an older lady (40s) and the catgirl's player is always talking OOC about how that character has "hit the wall" and that she should try playing someone "sexier". it's fucking gross.

No. 571664

File: 1592439529420.png (104.66 KB, 275x230, 1535675163360.png)

I know I am no use to anyone right now, I am in no situation for this, mentally nor physically but I WANT A GIRLFRIEND SO BAD. My ex was so chaotic and one minute was clearly ashamed to be with me, the next she was throwing fits because I wasn't able to come meet her friends. I just wanna be deep and mushy with a nice giiiiiiiirl, pray for me anons.

No. 571666

File: 1592440385940.jpeg (86.19 KB, 640x637, FFD2A5CB-C548-412B-9D07-16BF78…)

>>571664
i know how you feel anon, i'm lonely and no matter how much i hate the idea of a how toxic a relationship can get and how i don't think id be able to handle it, I still want one. I want affection goddammit

No. 571670

File: 1592440403618.jpg (19.15 KB, 400x293, 3fr7ej.jpg)

I had to find out the my favorite uncle has been in prison for over a year now because of sexual battery towards a minor (16/17 yrs old) and will be serving a 15 year sentence. Horrible but is just a long string of horrible secrets that I will never find out from my own family's mouth because they're all ashamed alcoholics with emotional issues.

I've been in therapy for several years and have a wonderful partner and I'm doing so well in school and this shit just keeps popping up. I feel mostly ok but also so distant because I just healed from some sexual trauma/grooming and suicidal regression that happened in 2018 so…… uncovering old wounds + general family bullshit.

I feel so so sad that the best decision for me is to just move on with my life even though my family is going to be devastated that I want to move away from here. But again, they're all so so toxic and damaged. I need to get away!!! I can see the light, farmers, and I need to keep running towards it!!!

No. 571671

>>571670
lmao forgot to mention that I found out his imprisonment/sentence from the INTERNET because I hadn't seen him in months and got worried since he has a history of alcohol-related changes (he's a bit of a drunk NEET in his 50s living with his parents)

No. 571672

>>571671
charges, fuck sorry

No. 571673

i wish my brain was just…. normal!!!
I want friends but when I'm w/ people (outside my job) my dumb brain goes "yeah but wouldn't u rather be at home…" I still crave connections though and beat myself up after

>>571670
I believe in u anon!!! I truly believe in "found families" so I know that one day hopefully you will have a family that you can be proud of and love immensely (and it sounds like you do, with your partner)

No. 571674

>>571666
I hope we get nice relationships in the future anon

No. 571675

My boyfriend said he sees no future with me because of my eating disorder.
I'm having break down after breakdown. I'm trying so hard to get better. I was recovering decently but I've fallen a bit back into disorded eating, I eat two, at least, meals a day and have snacks, I just am bad about voicing how bad my mind gets about it. I explained this to him and he hasn't responded in over 20 minutes, but it sounds like he's talking to someone, I'm too nervous to like, go into his room and talk more since I'm guessing he just wants to be away for now. Fuck.

No. 571676

>>571675
Do you live together?

Are you in therapy for your ED? If so, does he know that you are in therapy? If not, is it possible for you to obtain therapy?

I know it's not a solution for everyone but a third party who you're not related to/dating can be a real help. stay strong <3

No. 571684

>>571676
Yeah, we live together. We have separate rooms to do our own thing, like computer stuff, but we sleep in the same bed.

I am, I've been in therapy for it since I was 17 (I'm almost 22 now)… I was hospitalized for my ED at my absolute worst, that was 2 years now and I'm LEAGUES better than I was (I'm not eating 500 calories a day and purging nearly every meal, or cutting myself when I eat too much, for example.. )

No. 571686

>>571684
anon, that's really great progress and I'm proud of you. i don't know how much the validation of internet strangers means to you, but another person on this earth is thinking of you and really - I am proud of you!!! EDs are tough stuff.

what specifically did he say about your ED? how long have you been together? how is his communication (about stuff other than your ED - like paying rent, hanging out with friends, making meals)

No. 571689

Funny how I can tell my friends things and give advice with complete honesty, and believe it, but I can’t do the same for myself.

They always tell me I’m so great at pep talks and optimism. I just wish I could believe it when it applies to me. Really love that for me, brain, thank you.

No. 571690

>>571664
Are you me? I felt really inspired to try dating again RIGHT when covid hit and I’m so incredibly bored and lonely and sexually frustrated in a way I’ve never felt before. Really hope the vaccine comes out before the end of the year. I want a relationship so bad.

No. 571691

Going back to work after long period of sick days, really not looking forward to it. I've been contracted to work under 20 hours, however it keeps getting pushed to 26-30 hours. It's upsetting, however I'm afraid to say anything about it. It's not even that bad, but the fact that I live fucking 1 hour away and I now have to bike there, and I'm schedule for only 3 hour shifts is absolutely annoying. I want to quit, but that would be failing myself and people.

No. 571693

>>571690
Bitch yES, give us the vaccine asap. I honestly would almost wanna just start some lil ldr thing but I know I would just get dumped/I would ghost them after the pandemic because I have found I truly crave the daily physical stuff. Never really experienced that in a relationship before and I wanna be ~mature~ about this.

No. 571708

I hate it when you're debating online against men and the second it's revealed in any way that you're a woman, their tone automatically takes a jilt that betrays how they think they're intellectually superior to you, patronizingly so. And ironically they think they're better for that pretentious and juvenile behavior.

No. 571711

Well I fucked up. Have had a perfect job this last year in a small company (literally 10 people in the building max at a time). Learned a lot in the industry, making good money, tons of skills to add to a resume, etc.

Fell in love with my coworker after having fantastic communication over that period of time. We spent too much time together outside of working and fooled around a few times recently, plan activities, business ideas and trips as well. Sleepovers, meals, hiking, mundane stuff like going grocery shopping. He's not known to have long term relationships when that's typically my thing if it ever gets to the physical level so it's all my fault. All of this is still out of character for him to do; however, don't want to even think of getting my hopes up.

Sooo I'm currently drunk and crying about it. Even the person I dated for 6 years and was engaged to was never this compatible.

I thought relationships would be easier to figure out with age, but now knowing what works, being in situations like this hurts just as much. Going to work is a struggle because seeing his handsome face and hearing the layered jokes is overwhelming at this point. I cannot handle my demeanor or lie around co-workers anymore because it's hard. I want him and that's that.

I fucking hate my head and my heart since they somehow agree that it's the right thing to do for once since he's honestly a beautiful person underneath all the sarcasm and seriousness. Hope it passes before one gets broken and the other has to recuperate.

No. 571713

>>571711
Do you feel he's not going to commit to you? He sounds like one of those slick charismatic types, like easy come easy go. Tbh I'd be paranoid that even if he got into a closed relationship with me that he would be liable to fall in love with another coworker as easily. Which is a good argument as to why you shouldn't start or trust people who engage in workplace romance.

Sorry that happened anon, but at least it hasn't destroyed your job. I thought your post was leading up to you being in drama or fired lmao.

No. 571719

>>571713
I honestly feel like he would, but since it's not what he does, I don't want to force it if that makes sense? He's a late bloomer, had self esteem issues to work through before losing his virginity at a later age. Better than what I did by seeking people out due to a lack of self esteem lol. But also because of that, I feel like maybe he doesn't know the value of a relationship which sounds ironic considering everything he wants to do together. I don't want to scare him off. Yet as you also noted, what if somehow another person comes in & he's fucking another coworker? I wouldn't be able to handle it and can't risk any part of my work performance being affected.

Thank you for the bit of insight though! It helps ground the feelings somewhat.

No. 571725

>>571636
I think I was raped while I was asleep, however I am a virgin. I don't know where else to ask this or say this, but can one of you experienced people answer me this? How long does cum last inside of you, let's say in theory you had sex & fell asleep. Do you feel it or anything? Because I woke up with my shirt lifted up & when I went to the restroom, a bunch of liquid white stuff came running down my legs. This happened to me years ago, but it still haunts me. I just want answers, yet at the same time I don't want to believe I was raped. It's been so long & I still do not know how to react to it. I'm afraid.

No. 571727

I hate that the first date I've ever been on was with a fakeboy that was very immature, had such a bad low self esteem that they only took care of themselves when they were in a relationship, and would blame other people for their short comings. I'm glad that I let my anxiety get the better of me and ruin the relationship to the point that we didn't end up being friends. I'm also glad that I learned more of my self worth afterwards because I now know that if I'm on my knees cleaning the literal mess they made on the first date they're not a worth while partner. Also don't date barely legal teens even if you're only 2 years older, they try too hard to try to impress you that they sound so shallow and vapid.

No. 571730

one of my roommates had bpd, ADD and is also diagnosed anti social. it is such hell living with her she gives me genuine ptsd to how it was living with my junkie abusive also bpd mother. They’re both awful in their own ways. My roommate is bordering on being a NEET but she holds down a super part time retail job but other than that her rich parents basically give her a yearly salary. She is disgusting. She never does the dishes (which are mostly all hersbc who tf leaves dishes out), leaves fast food packages everywhere for me and my other roomie to clean up, leaves her items and clothes every where, in general just a slob. Even worse I have a shared bathroom with her and she leaves her hair everywhere in the tub and let’s the trash overflow with her sanitary products and sometimes doesn’t even flush the toilet. She does all this and then gets hyper defensive when we even gently with uwu gloves on ask her to clean up her shit. She either completely spergs our or just says BUT MUH ADD!! She seriously blames everything on her fucking a.d.d and uses it as an excuse to be a pig because she “forgets” to clean things and gets SOOO overwhelmed at the thought of it.
I feel so fucking stuck because I just resigned a lease for another year because there was no way i could financially move. I want to break my lease so badly but I also can’t afford that. Me and other sane roomie have serious plans of moving across the country because we are so tired of walking on egg shells. I have so much anxiety at the thought of confronting her and telling her that we are straight up leaving (once the lease is up) but i’m so scared of the bpd meltdown coming our way.

No. 571738

>>571675
Honestly? Leave and move on. Because sometimes with dudes like this, during and after your recovery, he's going to take credit for it (albeit not being there plus critising & doubting during the relationship) while still giving you shit due to possible relapses or any behaviours he sees tilting in that direction. Since it's so iNcOnVeNiEnT. Why date if he feels that way?

Even if not, GET OUT. Fuck a relationship if the support isn't there. As scary as it is, deal with your problems with a team of people prepared to do so. Friends, therapists, family – hell, even girls on lolcow here and there. You're the top priority, so if a hindrance exists? Get rid of it. All of that love spent on w h o e v e r could be invested in yourself & healing.

No. 571747

God, I can’t stand my roommate

She gets on my ass at night whenever I wake her up, like closing the door too loudly (and believe me, I try to be gentle with closing the door) but speaks super loudly whenever her boyfriend is over right outside my door. Get some earplugs, you hypocritical bitch.

No. 571754

I went swimming with some friends the other day. My best friend since childhood had some photos of us and another friend in the water while stretched out in a line. She posted some on her story now and she straight up just cropped me out of the picture. If it weren't for my feet you could almost think it was just the two of them. I mean I get that they hang out together more and she doesn't mean anything bad but.. fucking ouch.

No. 571756

my friend was going through my insta and called me a catfish. I don't edit my photos in any way. It hurts to think that photos where I think I my best aren't indicative of how other people see me face to face.

No. 571758

being a weird kid/teen and growing up and realizing that the shit you did and thought was extremely weird is low key traumatizing.

No. 571759

>>571756
I know that feel. Some coworker of mine had looked up my Facebook and said my pictures made me a catfish. It really took a huge blow to my self esteem, like wow I must be really ugly in person.

No. 571768

File: 1592469096708.jpeg (53.47 KB, 554x553, images (30).jpeg)

Oh God what the fuck anons. One of my friends is confessing to me and it feels so weird, I don't see him that way. He actually kinda asked me to reject him already since he couldn't deal with his feelings anymore. I said 'but don't you alreasy have a gf' and he answered 'just say it'. He didn't want to create expectation and delude himself I guess, he says he's trembling rn and wants to explain himself further. Why the fuck is this happening this is a mess. I feel so bad.

No. 571771

My cousin died. I didn't know her (we live on different continents), but my dad is devastated and I'm so worried about him. We're around the same age as well, so it's fucked because mid 20's is no age to die…

This year has been so awful for my family. Deaths, near-deaths, my mum likely catching COVID (it was mild, thankfully but triggered my PTSD of when she nearly died from sepsis). Like holy shit, 2020 has just been condensed chaos and tragedy and it's not even over.

No. 571774

This is gonna be so fucking stupid but it's a vent thread, alright. So, I have an online friend, we been talking to each other for a year now. We don't really talk much, just a 'how u doin' once a month but anyways she asked me to take care of her snap streaks (shes 21) for a week because she is unplugging for a week from the internet so I was like alright sure. Anyways, I open her snapchat and I don't know, I just didn't expect her to have so many friends, well actually I did, she was a total stacy, but like, ugh, she has so many guyfriends, you know, male friends, while posting stories about sex and stuff. I don't know. Rubbed me the wrong way. Like every story of hers was sex related. Maybe because I don't have friends, much less guy friends so I don't get it. It just annoyed me.

No. 571775

>>571768
Don't feed into it, anon. Could just make it worse. Just say you're not interested and that's that. Be prepared that this could ruin the friendship. It doesn't have to but it could.

No. 571777

>>571759
>>571756
Anons, in my opinion I don’t think they meant in a bad way. I almost never see catfish used negatively anymore. I think it’s more of a “your photos are so good they must be facetuned!” type deal.
Plus, it’s still a photo of you so it’s really just a compliment. I’m sure you both look nice irl.

No. 571778

WHY IS MY MUM SO FUCKING CRUEL TO ME CONSTANTLY

she says the most vile fucked up things to me constantly and it just fucking breaks me down. She is disgusted with me and she can't even pretend that she isn't. She fucking hates me to the core.

No. 571788

>>571725
It's possible that it could have been discharge or even something like a yeast infection, or a freak amount of ovulation perhaps even combined with a little overnight leak. Imo it's unlikely that someone did that to you because you didn't talk about feeling any pain or discomfort, especially as you were a virgin I would expect you to have a noticeable burning vaginal pain, even if you only noticed it when you went to the bathroom. On top of that it's also unlikely that you wouldn't become pregnant. I'm just trying to look at what is the most likely scenario based on the information you've posted but also I just really want to believe that didn't happen to you anon. At the end of the day it's only your opinion about this that matters, and nobody should argue with how you feel about it. I just hope you're ok.

No. 571796

>>571774
I didn't even know taking care of someone's snap streaks was a thing I'm old af. Do her friends know they're not talking to her? That's so weird to me

No. 571837

I just bought a backpack online and was trying it on at home. My hiking enthusiast bf helped me with adjustments and told me how weird my hips were.
I kept asking what he meant and he told me that my waist is really tiny and then it gets big.
I'm 170cm with 60kg (5'7", 133lbs), I have a 65cm (25,6") waist with a 99cm (39") hip.
In my world, I'm far from deformed, but apparently I am in his eyes.
In the past he made comments about my hips/thighs being big, my shoulders being broad. Always lowkey but I really don't feel pretty anymore. I don't think the person I'm sleeping with finds me attractive. I told him that and also told him that I never had this feeling before. And still he keeps saying shit like that.
Fuck him.

No. 571838

Apparantly, I turned my boyfriend borderline, because now after treating me like shit, he thinks about it when he is out with his friends and it makes him sad.

YEAH ITS SO BPD SO BORDERLINE TO RELECT ON YOUR ACTIONS. Holy shit, I don't even know why I bother. Yeah I have bpd but fuck me he acts like more of a bpd bitch than me. At least I know and try to reign it in, he doesn't want to admit/oblivious to it and is unapologetically crazy. Unpleasable, manipulative, little man, if only he wasn't so attractive…

No. 571864

>>571837
>a man finding wide hips with small waist unattractive
It's like you won the wrong lottery.

No. 571886

I feel like such a fucking retard. Im in my 20s but Im completely tech illiterate, I would love to get into PC gaming and digital art but Im just intimidated by it all. I tried watching tutorials but that shit was making my head hurt and I just noped out if the tutorials. I keep telling myself that everyone has to start somewhere and to take my time to learn, but Im a retard that whats instant gratification. I was thinking about getting sn android tablet for the art like a friend but Im cheap too and I can’t justify wasting the money even though it won’t hurt me that bad. I will forever be my own worst enemy.

No. 571887

one of my coworkers called in because she was too hungover to work so now I have to do her job on top of mine and still get paid the same amount. Since we're healthcare related and 'nausea' is a symptom of covid, she can't come back until she tests negative so I'll be doing this all week. This troll-ass alcoholic boomer bitch gets on my nerves.

No. 571889

My abusive ex-sugar daddy just tried to withdraw money from my PayPal account. I'm so confused because (a) I haven't talked to him in three years, (b) I'm sure he doesn't need the money, and (c) it was a random amount. I'm wondering if he did it just to initiate contact since I have him blocked on all platforms. But why defraud me to get my attention? If he had sent me money instead of trying to take it from me, I would be more inclined to talk to him. This doesn't make any sense!

No. 571900

hey anons i just need to vent about weird stuff in my childhood.

i have been thinking about my childhood last night. i know as a child that my parents were abusive but i only have one real memory of physical abuse happening to me and a lot more of it happening to my sister. i remember a lot of the emotional abuse pretty well. i’m not sure if this is normal, but, i don’t remember a lot of my elementary school years but one thing i remember is that when i played with toys with one of my friends it would always be about sex. We were like only 6 or 7 so i have no idea how or why that was happening. I also remember that as a child from like 5-13 i had a very active imagination where i would imagine little stories in my head, where a lot of them had to do with rape and disgustingly i enjoyed those thoughts.

I don’t know if this is true or not but i’m so scared that maybe i was sexually abused as a child. i have no memory of it if it did happen, though… is there any way i could find out? i’ve always had a weird relationship with sex but my abusive ex boyfriend also messed up my perception of it as well. I notice that I dissociate at least once a day or once every other day. I’m too scared to go to therapy incase i unearth something i don’t want to hear. Or maybe i’m just overthinking it? I just don’t know how a child in elementary school would know about sex and rape.

No. 571923

File: 1592501617055.jpg (22.52 KB, 400x400, feefe.jpg)

my social anxiety is so bad that i often start shaking when talking to people. i've tried several medications but i stopped taking them because i had bad side effects and couldn't get things done. also i might have the tism. i don't want to be a hikikomori anymore

No. 571928

i meant to tell my family i don't believe in islam anymore after quarantine but my mom's taking quran classes and talking too much to the man teaching her so if i still do it'll probably go to shit.

No. 571980

>>571928
Also exmuslim here. Take caution telling your family, obviously idk your circumstances but for a lot of people coming out means getting disowned or worse. Wish you luck.

No. 571997

File: 1592511226076.png (21.55 KB, 920x853, 75615392874123828-1.png)

>first week of online summer class
>professor wants us all to make a discussion post introducing ourselves with a picture of ourselves
>tells us we need to reply to two other people's posts
>I'm the second person to make a post so my post is at the top
>I wait until two days before it is due to comment on two other people's posts
>I notice that everyone has multiple comments under their posts
>I'm the only one with no comments
>notices that I'm the only ugly one

I'm tired of living in a world where lookism prevails.

No. 572007

i cant be bothered to make the steps to get my appetite back
i have a job working from home right now and alternate between tolerating it for the money and outright wanting to quit every 2 weeks or so. im supposed to report at 8am and everyday i set my alarm for 7 and go back to sleep until 7:58 before going to my computer. today i snuck away from my tasks this morning to make two eggs and toast, its 1:35 now and I still havent finished all of it
my self-esteem shouldnt come from how attractive i perceive myself but im a bony flat chested mess and i hate it

No. 572020

>>571997
You can't be the only ugly person in your class, unless there are few ppl. Maybe your post was boring or you came off as antisocial. Depends if your course is related to lookism as well

No. 572022

>>571768
Update: I sent him a detailed message of why we can't be together in a nice way and he proceeds to ignore me.
Guess men truly just want to fuck you and if you don't let them, you become worthless to them. It hurts

No. 572041

> my 2 best friends wont reply me for weeks because theyre busy
> No one to talk to
> Currently a neet
> No one cares about me
> Mom wants me to die
> Autism makes me feel dumb
why shouldnt i rope? Im tired living this nightmare

No. 572094

File: 1592526733561.png (70.29 KB, 339x355, Howard-the-Duck-screenshots-2-…)

I'm finally home but I miss being abroad,watching cartoons on YouTube delicious homemade food,fat chickens as pets,cleaner air. I miss the ambience over there,now I feel weird and I feel so sentimental I just want to cry so hard but home sweet home I guess?

No. 572097

>>571997
What did you post about yourself? People is very boring nowadays and if you aren't into the latest netflix show you can't have a convo with them. Have you tried commenting on their post too?

No. 572100

>>572097
We all had to post of ourselves, as an "introduction" which is worth points. If I had the choice, I wouldn't have posted at all. And yes I posted on other people's post like how we were supposed to. Just sucks that even when I have basically the same thing as everyone else, because im ugly, everyone ignores me like the plague.

No. 572101

I feel uncomfortable. I don't know why. I've been feeling anxious over my recent breakup and I was doing fine for a bit but I messaged him like a retard out of the blue and now I've been really nervous, even though he responded fine and nothing happened. I'm not going to message him again but I feel so fucking weird, like I'm crawling around inside my own body, under my own skin. I want to tear it all off.

No. 572103

>>572020
There are around 38 people in the class and im the only one without comments. I don't know how I came off as antisocial if I followed the prompt which was just, sate your major, reason why you took the class, and an interesting fact and for that fact I said that I am learning piano since I have more time. Its a history class so nothing to do with lookism, so I think its because of my looks. I even picked a picture where I was actually smiling, but I guess it doesn't matter because im that repulsive. And I actually am the ugliest. Even with makeup im still ugly, even skinny im ugly. I can't ever win.

No. 572109

>>571691
As it gets hotter doing that bike ride will get worse. Can no one give you a ride?

>>571837
>I really don't feel pretty anymore
>still he keeps saying shit like that
This man is terrible. He knows he's making you feel like insecure. Are there any other red flags or weird things he does apart from this? If not, tell him to stop. Break up if this and other red flags are still present

>>571886
You can do it anon! I don't know about PC gaming, but for both digital and traditional art, the foundations of drawing apply. If you have some foundations and practice traditionally, you're doing great! There are plenty of resources online like in the art salt thread, and other artists could give tips if you know what you want to do (realistic, anime, 3D, etc.) You can also start out with a cheaper tablet under $50 (like XP-pen) without a screen and buy something better later.

No. 572110

I wish job searching was as easy as my mom thinks it is. I turn in an application not even a day later "Did they hire you yet?" and her annoying ass comment of "If they like you then they would hire you already." WELL THEY PROBABLY DON'T AND THAT'S WHY I'M NOT GETTING CALLED BACK. Job searching is so damn stressful I feel like one day I'm going to kill myself because of it.

No. 572118

>>572100
People suck, but also a lot of people leave things right to the deadline so you'll probably get comments. I hated those discussion post things for uni, most people are so self conscious even about their comment since it's sort of graded and just copy whoever posted firsts format unless someone is creative or whatever. Don't think too much into it anon

No. 572119

I want to kill myself and make it look like an accident. I am always an afterthought anyway so why not piss them off?

No. 572131

File: 1592531862351.jpeg (27.73 KB, 360x258, bratz.jpeg)

So I am staying with my boyfriend at his parents house for the summer and we've been taking great care to clean everything, wear masks, et cetera whenever necessary. They live in a major city, but it's in the twenties on the list of most populous American cities, and the space use isn't really dense even in the downtown area. In any case we are still really careful. Well today my boyfriend invited two of our friends over, and they are having a jam session in the living room while his parents are out. They are still here but they all stopped playing for now, and we are going downtown together soon.

I am getting really pissed off at the carelessness of one of our friends. He said that he couldn't play without socks on so he just took them off without asking, so he's been walking around barefoot and it's making me shrivel up inside. Who knows where his feet have been. He's a pizza deliverer so I know he has to interact with people frequently. What's really been getting to me is that he grabbed one of the spatulas from the kitchen without asking, so that he could use it on his drum kit. I saw my boyfriend look at me for a second as if I should do something about it but I am a fucking guest here too. I know his mother would be fuming if she were here. Also before they started playing, our barefoot friend said that he forgot something in his car so he went outside without his shoes or socks to grab it, then just walked back in thinking nothing of it. I told him that he should have put his shoes on but he laughed it off, saying that humans didn't wear shoes before clothes were invented. Such a stupid cop out. Our friends are sprawling their belongings around everywhere as well, there's a guitar case right next to me on the couch where my boyfriend's dad sometimes falls asleep.

I am just very worried and agitated, and I don't know if I should confront my boyfriend and our friends, or send a text to my boyfriend's mom telling her about what they're doing, and offer to clean their kitchen after we return. Am I overreacting?

No. 572132

>>572131
Yes you're overreacting. Don't tell his parents and clean the place when they leave. They were invited over I don't know why you think his bare feet are the only parts of him that could potentially harbour a virus or bacterium. Keep washing you hands and just clean up after them you're obviously not that worried since you're around them.

No. 572139

File: 1592532412798.jpg (23.15 KB, 400x400, 1591058297767.jpg)

>>571636
cant believe people forgot him already.

No. 572144

>>571886
For PC building
https://wiki.installgentoo.com/wiki/Build_a_PC

This website will help you select compatible parts
https://pcpartpicker.com/

No. 572153

>>572131
>who knows where his feet have been
>he's a pizza deliverer
Anon it's not like he delivers pizza barefoot! Relax, unless you're gonna lick your floors when they leave I'd say foot-to-mouth contact is a very obscure way to catch it.
Wash the spatula. The end.

No. 572176

File: 1592537371909.jpg (447.36 KB, 1280x1701, 2o0zlrd5ccy31.jpg)

I'm having a cystic acne breakout with at least six giant inflamed masses on my face so far.
I don't care, they're here for weeks anyway if past history is proof of anything. So I popped them to relieve some pressure although it's not entirely possible with the way the entire section of tissue is infected. I've been having good skin lately up until now. I wasn't having to wear concealer as usual but now I'll be dotting my face for weeks while the initial infection goes away, and then deal with hyperpigmented patches liable to re-infect for months after.

No. 572182

My period is like clockwork and lasts 3-4 days but it is always insanely heavy. Cramps down my thighs, barfing, changing tampons by the hour during the second day. Birth control didn't help, it's not PCOS. Idk, I'm not really looking for advice I just really fucking hate menstruating.

No. 572190

File: 1592540548934.jpg (25.95 KB, 564x469, 1570992086043.jpg)

>guy literally calls me cute
>always respectful and kind
>"he must be disgusted by me, hates me, and is only hanging with me to make fun of me"
Epic.
Cool to remember I'll never recover from my Papa Problems. It's even the same with women; a girl literally confessed to me then somehow tracked me down years later and I thought "oh she can't actually like me for x stupid reason, time to distance myself again."

How do people even overcome this? I'm tired of being paranoid and pushing people away. Yet I'm also afraid I'll finally be correct and made a fool.

No. 572192

I think I'm physically really pretty now. It's a combination of growing into my face as well as finally having money to take care of myself and invest in flattering clothing. It's a shame though, that emotionally and socially I'm fucked from feeling so so ugly growing up.

No. 572198

File: 1592542620818.png (327.05 KB, 480x482, gallery-1481840473-screen-shot…)

my friends and family forgot my birthday today. ok.

No. 572199

ew he sounds like a loser no wonder you don't like him

No. 572207

>>572198
So sorry to hear that anon, happy birthday! Maybe give them a little wink and a nudge to remind them? Sometimes people just forget and they don't mean anything by it.

No. 572208

Stupid fuckers have been sending off fireworks since 10pm. I ignored it at first because it wasn’t too loud or disruptive, but now they’re setting off firecrackers or something similar that’s absolutely loud as fuck and it’s 1am now. I called 311 and the woman said I could call 911 about it, but my dad said to just leave them alone and that the cops already came but haven’t done anything about it. Easy for my dad to say to leave them alone, his bedroom window doesn’t face the street!!! It’s so fucking loud!!! How am I supposed to sleep!!!! It makes me jump in my seat every time I hear it!!

No. 572211

File: 1592545858726.gif (542.5 KB, 400x392, unnamed.gif)

>>572198
Happy birthday anon, hope you are having a good day despite that! As you grow older people become more busy(and shitty) and they tend to forget your birthday. My first boyfriend forgot it and my father hasn't called me in 3 years to wish me a hb lmao.

No. 572218

I’m supposed to visit my mom soon but every time I talk with her it just stresses me out. Her battered woman syndrome has had more negative effects on me than I let on. She just doesn’t feel like the mother who raised me anymore. I’d honestly rather not see her but everyone tells me I’ll regret cutting off our relationship. I wish they’d listen to me when I say I’m tired of her bullshit.

No. 572220

Went to the grocery store and the cashier tried to have a conversation with me. I could BARELY make eye contact and my voice was shaky. I'm actually developing social anxiety I think. I don't know what things will be like when I go back to my job where I need to socialize all damn day.

No. 572222

My boyfriend has a cavity that might be an exposed nerve, he has very bad dental problems (missing teeth, including front,) because we're both poor as fuck. He's been sick, super in pain, in bed for the past 3 days now (been sick from it for longer, just not sick in bed)
I'm so worried sick and there's nothing I can do, at least nothing I know I can do..

No. 572223

My heart hurts. The past few months I haven't been close to my parents despite living together. I just keep feeling this strange resentment towards them despite knowing they did what they could for me growing up. Due to the depression I've been feeling, I can't stop assigning reasons why my life is the way it is to them and the way they raised me. I know they won't be here forever, and that I'll look back on these days and hate myself for being so cold to them, but I can't help the pain that I'm feeling.

No. 572224

>>571837
>>572109
>any other red flags?

The only other red flag is him not being over his ex and still talking about how beautiful she is. I even looked her up online to just have a face to that "most beautiful woman on earth" (guess what, she's not) phantom. In my mind I always compare her to me and keep thinking about her, which is really fucked up and stupid and not something I want to do. I even have dreams about her, it's something I really do not want in my life. Such a stupid waste of my time. It's not that I'm jealous or don't want him to think of a meaningful relationship of his, it just hurts that I have that feeling that he adores her looks while he thinks I'm (probably below?) average. (Funny that his ex also had self-esteem issues, wonder if he also talked prettiest-woman-alive down?)
Idk. I should probably just break up or grow some self-esteem.
In the end, I think it's a problem with empathy and being very self-centered.

No. 572225

Going on a big family meet up on sunday, yet I am terrified to go there because there's going to be a spoiled, jealous brat with whom I tried my best to be friends with. No matter what I did and how much I tried, they would always be overdramatic or do completely rude, immature things. I can't believe I am so much younger than that person.

I just wanted a friend and that breaks me. I don't want to go at all because of them alone.

No. 572231

>>572139
he will never be forgotten

No. 572237

File: 1592555322711.jpeg (351.66 KB, 828x512, E5AB6DEA-8BF8-42D1-BB92-8AD543…)

>>571997
Anon, maybe you’re so cute they felt too intimidated to post.

>>572198
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear anonnnn
Happy birthday to you!

No. 572243

I love my parents and I'm terribly anxious about my dad dying.
My mom always mentaly prepared me about it when I voiced my concern to her, but not my dad who just laughs it off. I love my dad so much and if he dies I feel like I wouldn't be able to live anymore, he has no idea how much I love him. The fact that he is terrified of doctors for some reason and doesn't regularly goes amplifies it

No. 572247

>>572224
Hahahaha okay, ntayrt but you need to drop this guy immediately. He'll make you feel like shit about yourself and after constant exposure to that, it can take years for your full self-confidence to recover, even after this relationship inevitably ends.

It's 100% intentionally calculated to hurt you. No guy actually says these comments for benign reasons just because he doesn't understand how it feels to hear them. He understands they hurt you and that's why he says them. This isn't some tolerable small negative trait in a partner lol.

Also, not that it matters but lmfao at a straight man trying to say he finds your tiny waist and wider hips unattractive. That's literally one of the main things men notice about women that makes them go crazy. I bet he just knows you're out of his league.

No. 572260

why am i still alive?

No. 572266

>>572190
anon its alright we all feel like this, you are worth of love

No. 572270

File: 1592565633617.png (401.85 KB, 640x431, baby seal.png)

>>572198
Happy birthday, anon! I hope you spend your day doing something you like.

No. 572275

>>572260
Just to suffer, let's do it together

No. 572291

i think im actually going to fail this year of uni. i failed one of my final exams today. i'm allowed to retake it next week, but that's not enough time and i have 4 more finals to do but only 2 more weeks left to do them. if it wasnt for this corona shit i could be done with all of them.

No. 572298

>>572275
Might as well count me in while we're at it

No. 572303

I wanted to REEEE about my physical body and stupidity but it's so boring. Basically I look like a crack addict and I have zero muscle tone so even though my body fat percentage is low, I look like if Shayna was melting - despite having never been fat before this. My dumbass had to google why I "look fat" despite being so underweight. I feel retarded but ultimately better. I look like if someone put a layer of greek yogurt between the skin and bones. Places where my muscle just.. disappeared beside my ass and my arms look SO WEIRD. I was bed-bound for a year while sick and it took such a bizarre toll on my body. Imagine if frogs were just bipedal and that's pretty accurate to what's going on here.
At least it's fixable? I was sad because I thought it was really unfortunate and permanent. I am very dumb.

No. 572305

>>572303
Same here anon, I'm also developing cellulite which is just really unfair. I'm going to start trying to build some tone by going for short walks, good luck to you!

No. 572309

>bought something on etsy when I filtered for local shippers
>the first of last month
>a week later after the product didn't ship I checked the seller profile
>ships from China
>FUCK, but w/e figured I'd get the product after a month of waiting
>a few days ago and still no product despite other packages bought from China around that same time are arriving now
>check the tracking and the label hasn't been moved the entire time
>the courier service they're using has shit reviews even before covid
>message seller if they can give me the status
>uses covid as an excuse and says flights have ceased which is a straight up lie
>gives me a copypaste script about how they 'rechanneled' the package
>ask them to explain what that meant and if they're using the same shipping service as before
>replies but doesn't answer question, insists they sent it and to wait another 1-2 weeks and to be patient but they can't guarantee me anything, which isn't what I asked but sure
>ask for a refund
>no response

I'm mad that I bought from some dumbfuck dropshipper with zero English and scripted responses. The worst is knowing I paid close to $70 for a product that I could have bought on aliexpress for $10 and even from China it would have been on my continent by now at least like the other packages are. Bet these shitheels are having a field day having covid as a protected excuse.

No. 572328

>>572305
Best of luck to you too, anon! I'm repainting my longboard and gonna treat muscle-building like a side effect of distant travel otherwise I won't do it kek. I hope you stay motivated through the whole thing and I hope you feel really good through it all!

No. 572338

>years of whining about PCOS making my life hell
>friends, family, anons all telling me to research a PCOS diet
>after months of weight fluctuation and endless pain, finally give in and google "PCOS diet"
>it's literally exactly what I already eat, word for word
pull the fucking trigger anons and no I will not go keto that's gross

No. 572347

>>572309
My dad fell for the same exact scam a few months ago. We were able to get the money back when we reported them to paypal, so if you paid with paypal as well, you shouldn't worry too much. If you paid with a debit card, well then I don't really know. My guess is that your bank should be able to help, but I don't have any experience with such situations.

No. 572360

> Lived years in abusive household with narc mother who would always do nothing but talk shit about me and see me as a competition. She would always openly envy me and would try to copycat me and do the same things I do but "better". Never gotten any sort of support from her in my life. Not even "good job" once. Green-eyeing and talking shit about me to other family members.

> I escape abusive household, get a nice job and such, living together with my precious s/o. His family is nice and chill, everyone loves and respects me and I do so back.


> His little sister arrives. Is the same type of an insecure narc who can't stand not getting attention; sees me as a competition, tries to copy my personality and style. Does many rude things but everyone are trying to ignore it because she is playing mental health card. Would always green-eye me. Started talking shit about me to s/o friends that they stopped telling me hi. I did nothing wrong, never did anything stupid nor negative.


I am very tried of this. It hurts me so bad.

No. 572383

Had a guy I met once DM me saying that I was hot until I opened my mouth and said that I was too boring and dry. Sorry that it was literally the first time we met and that I have serious issues with opening up and being myself and not just being an anxious mess.

No. 572413

>>572383
he's an asshole. no reason to tell you that.

No. 572415

I think my family is happy my boyfriend broke my spirit and chewed at my self-esteem because I'm a lot less qUiRkY~~ and outgoing as I used to be. Not even a little. I'm shy and I cry at the drop of a hat now, and I used to be like.. fun. A person worth knowing. Now I feel like I've spent my youth doing nothing and have to start back like I'm 16 again. New job and location, all that. I don't even feel human most days and haven't seen someone outside of my boyfriend/family in almost two years. ALMOST TWO YEARS! Twenty fucking months. I'm emotionally lethargic

No. 572425

i hate my parents we have a bug roach problem again and I just saw one this afternoon, not even at fucking night. i hate it, it's so disgusting. all my parents do is half-assedly spray some shit from home depot but the fucked keep showing up. i keep freaking out because these bugs are gross but my parents keep going "stop being so annoying". i should tell my dad to hire an exterminator but i know he's just going to say it's not a big deal and they'll go away eventually.

No. 572426

There really needs to be better role models for young girls. I’m very scared of encountering teens that may get their self esteem from ahegao memes and loods. God, what’s with adult women identitifying as a loli or just sexualizing what’s basically my childhood? That shit is cringe. I don’t want to have to look at a Barbie doll and think of shay’s unwashed cooch.

God, just, I hope that shit is kept in the internet.

No. 572432

>>572426
That's why they're all fakebois

No. 572442

moving to a new city AGAIN to study and i swear i hate looking for places to live in so much. it's so expensive there and idk if i'll be able to get a flat for poor students from the govt. so much anxiety.

No. 572443

There was a particularly gruesome murder that happened in my town lately. Now that details are coming out and photos of the killer have been shared… I recognise him. I posted here a few weeks back that this random man harrassed me in the street wanting my phone number and that my anxiety had been through the roof since that day. It happened on the same street as the murder, in nearly the exact spot.

I messaged my dad today to tell him and got no response. I don't know why but my dad never cares when it comes to these things. I know he lives far away but the indifference kills me. He was the same when I left a relationship that had become very unsafe, nothing supportive to say.

No. 572445

>>572443
Jesus Christ. Glad you're safe (and that the guy didn't get away with his crime), anon. I can't imagine how unnerving it must be to think about that.
Your dad sounds like a dick, he's going to regret being this way someday.

No. 572447

>>572443
omg that's so scary, your dad is fucked up. Stay safe

No. 572474

>having really bad mental health week
>broken out skin, diet failing, being forced to go back to office from remote, cleanliness lapsing, poor sleep, friends flaking and being user-y, dad being a shite despite cleaning his apartment and already gotten him a gift for Sunday, can't focus at work, racing thoughts, feeling worthless in general, etc.
>tell internet bf bc I haven't been in a perky mood and he always comments on it when I'm not bubbly responsive and asks what's wrong
>"Hey anon at least I have a three day weekend and we can spend all that time together just think of our uwu times!"


………lmao. Sorry, not to sound ungrateful cause it's likely my anger and depression talking, but I don't find being bespoke to a camera for most of my free hours while I'm not working (I only got Sunday off) while hearing him go off about hobbies I don't care about as truly "being there" for me. Nor do I find it all that relaxing. The reality is he can't do shit for me. We're both old enough to not be that fucking deluded. When he said that it reminded me of high school.
Bitch if you want to make me feel better buy me something nice, order delivery to my apartment, or do anything in your capacity to make my life fucking easier because your words from thousands of miles away don't put food in my mouth or lay my bills.

I want to scream and throw a chair.


>>572443
Posts like these make me wonder how many farmers have been murdered by random men or their shitty bfs. One day they just stop posting and we're all none the wiser. Glad it wasn't you anon.

No. 572477

>>572443

I think this makes you some kind of witness, and there are phone records of your telling your dad about it.

No. 572492

retail music is the fucking worst. if I have to hear Ed Sheeran or Passengers whiny voices one more time, we play the same twenty shitty adult contemporary public acoustic whiny crap 24/7 and I literally get triggered if I hear it in another store lmao. Except I'd argue my workplace's selection is even worse because we don't even have basic pop songs to play between the bad nasally male songwriter crap to negate it. God I'd rather hear fucking Megan Trainor any day over this that plays in other retail establishments but not in ours and that is a low bar. Retarded I know but I find it hard to block it out. At least when Christmas comes around I'll be rid of this ugly ass excuse for music, I'd rather listen to christmas music lmao

No. 572495

>>572443
Glad you're safe, anon. One of my worst fears is getting killed by a guy who thought I was leading him on or a pervert. I reject weird men on a regular basis

No. 572501

I'm so deepy annoyed that Belle Delphine is on my feed again. I don't have anything against her, i just hate being forced to see something, and the fact that all the internet thirsts over her makes me sad and lose hope that not all males are cumbrains

No. 572504

>>572501
watch someone now say you're jealous of her

No. 572510

File: 1592606319942.jpeg (59.97 KB, 474x712, th.jpeg)

>>572492
fuck, same … I miss the days of Lady Gaga and "I Gotta Feeling" by BEP always being on, that's how bad this tinkly soft boy music is getting to me

No. 572517

I’m in a really cool fan community for a game on Discord and recently a pack of twitter brats came in with their shitty, weird headcanons and ugly tumblr-style fanart and it’s so uncomfortable. I hope they get bored and fuck off soon.

No. 572520

My health anxiety is so fucking severe. I'm literally fading in and out of reality and can't stop thinking that I'm going to die. My boyfriend made some joke yesterday about how I'm going to be "changing diapers some day," and I literally broke down sobbing because I no longer believe I'm going to live long enough to have kids.

Of course, the fact that I actually have a medical condition that is rare and potentially deadly doesn't help at all.

No. 572521

My dad just od’ed last night

No. 572523

>>572521
Fuck, I'm so sorry anon. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now.

No. 572526

>>572523
Thank you. we had a strained relationship but a great day together yesterday when he came down to my state to visit me.

No. 572537

>>572501
>I'm so deepy annoyed that Belle Delphine is on my feed again.

No offense anon but do you only follow a bunch of meme and cumbrain accounts? I didn't even know she was back until my bf sent some meme pic
All I got on my feed were people thirsting after the son of the President of Argentina for some cosplay he did

No. 572538

hi anons, I am feeling like absolute shit.
I used to be part of this "net art" community but its filled with pretentious 30 somethings, fake woke white men and one troon. it became really grossly misogynistic. One guy shared some info about a celeb being gross and I just responded with well its not shocking, men are gross. and responded with not all men. and then troon comes out of no where and says "thats why im becoming a woman". and I responded saying "well, that doesnt work that way" and then the troon said welp tell that to my "mammary glands and endocrine system".. mind you this person is gaunt and not feminine looking at all. just looks like a malnourished troon. The #notallmen guy told me i was terf-ing up the place. troon keeps showing mircoagressions against me and is literally obsessed with trying to get a response out of me keeps self posting and asking me what i thought. and another weird instance that happened is that i just randomly started talking about virtual chat rooms like imvu and they made a joke about getting raped and told me i should try experiencing virtual rape, I know it doesnt sound like something extreme, but to me that was really disgusting. these men are literally white knighting a man in thigh highs dressed like a 12 year old. im in my early 20s. just the whole room is men attacking me? its just frustrating because its blatent misogyny, and they are telling me im crazy. the rape guy legit called me a shithead, and i kid you not i literally never said anything terrible. i just really hate men anons. I hate troons. ugh.

No. 572540

My boyfriend thinks every girl who isn't hideous that has a single thing in common with him is his soul mate while he's with me and it's absolutely pathetic and embarrassing. I constantly feel increasingly violent and I've caught him flirting with my friends on several occasions, he hates that I don't socialize well but I can't ever socialize with women or even men correctly ever again and I work with him and feel embarrassed because people come up to me and ask why I'm with him…

No. 572543

>>572540
why are you with him

No. 572544

>>572540
please anon, for the sake of everything - leave him. that sounds horrible and terrible for your self-esteem…
i know you work with him and all, but damn that sounds so bleak

No. 572550

>>572501
It's because 'sex work' is the most depraved line of work other women can go into and it's repulsive to think that the most lucrative and appealing jobs to young women right now consists of whoring online- hence why she returned$$. She is not pretty without the makeup and snowapp garbo she has going on and is only popular because she sells her soul to cumbrain scrotes like all other instacows. I wish more girls would look at instagram reality comparisons and stop contributing to that filth, but I digress. All of the money she has is from gold digging thousands of disgusting unwashed fucks who are doing disgusting shit to her sexual photos/videos. Imagine if she had kids and they found her SWer past online- it's not a future to be envious of. So; stop immersing yourself in the onlyfans garbage culture that is demoralizing women right now. Just unfollow whoever is reposting her shit and focus on accomplished female role models while you improve yourself.

No. 572555

>>572540
LEAVE HIM

No. 572561

>>572540
people ask why you're with him because he's terrible, dump his ass. you will feel better, and even if it's awkward working with him it's 1000% better than what you have now.

No. 572568

>>571636
the fact that primink paints some of his subjects as tortured souls fuckin irks me so much because those people have done bad things to people but ~abusive childhood uwu~

No. 572573

>>572510
what the fuck is this image, anon?

I miss bad romance era, rip. spirit cook me back to 2008

No. 572575

File: 1592621834061.png (694.72 KB, 494x594, Coomers_Brain_cell_says.PNG)

>>572550
tbh there's so many of these ethots I have no idea how anyone is able to keep track of them. I thought both girls in pic related where the same person…

No. 572577

>>572573
I miss music from the early 10s and 00s in general. Shit was so upbeat and less dreary

No. 572579

File: 1592622734255.gif (753.92 KB, 397x562, 1538934355377.gif)

I feel so fucking stupid. I can't stop beating myself up (sometimes literally..) over just..

I never learned like, anything. My 'schooling' was my parents buying me like, "disney learn numbers" type books, and then I was allowed internet access REALLY early on (no younger than like, 5, but no older than 9). That's it. My parents just figured I'd look up what I want to learn, because they didn't want things I didn't want to learn forced on me.

Which.. was fine, for a while, but now I'm sitting here almost twenty two FUCKING years old, trying to get through 2nd grade math and it's beyond confusing and, like, I know I'll get it eventually, but it doesn't help I have ADHD too and I'm currently bouncing from doctor to doctor trying to find medicine for it.

I just feel so stupid. I know it's not my fault and like, I'm not stupid? Once I get what I'm being taught, I learn, sometimes it doesn't stick cause ADHD be like that, but I just get so in my head. I wish I could get a brain injection and at least be insta-taught math, it's my weakest point. It doesn't help halfway through the courses, my brain just starts feeling like it's overstuffed.

No. 572582

>>572579
you straight up didn't go to school? how did you learn to read?

No. 572590

>>572582
I mean, my parents taught me that, I guess. According to my mom I picked that up pretty fast, and advanced on my own (computer access and watching TV all day every day probably helped relate words to reading.

No. 572603

>>572579
Don't get down on yourself anon. Anyone would have a hard time learning that stuff, kids just have the benefit of extreme neuroplasticity, teachers, their peers, and literally being sat down and forced to do it. It's not an easy thing to do that all on your own.

Also imo sometimes the hardest thing is learning the absolute basics of something and wrapping your head around the core abstract concepts and once you get past that and start really building on your knowledge it gets easier. Programming is like that. I think maybe math could be like that as well.

Also I feel you on trying to get an ADHD diagnosis/meds. It's fucking hard as an adult and especially as a woman.

No. 572606

File: 1592628858823.jpeg (59.05 KB, 300x291, 20D94636-4FC8-4C90-9701-892024…)

I want to improve my art so bad, but I can’t get a consistent schedule where I’m working on it. I think I have some sort of executive dysfunction and ts so hard to structure things myself. I want to get better and I want to make a portfolio but there’s something that blocks me from doing so.

No. 572612

>>572579
Okay so, a couple things here.

First of all, math is just straight up not everybody's thing. It's a big fucking pain in the ass. I don't like it either. It's definitely not just that you didn't learn at an early age, nor that you have ADHD. Those factors certainly don't help matters, but please try and give yourself a break. It's not hard to motivate ourselves to learn things that we're not actually interested in. I'm willing to bet that the reason you picked up reading so easily was that you actually like to read. Considering how impeccable your grammar is, I'm guessing you also like to write.

I don't mean to be presumptuous, but judging by your post, it sounds like you're trying to learn math primarily because you're embarrassed by how behind you are in comparison to others, not because you actually like it.

Do you have any other reason for wanting to learn math, aside from this? Are you planning on pursuing college? Do you need it for a job?

No. 572613

File: 1592630406221.png (57.27 KB, 154x130, yukaaa.PNG)

>>571636 my boyfriend has a good relationship with his family while mine is shambles. so around holidays i get kinda glum since i cant hang with family the same way others can. on holidays hes usually busy with them which is not a bad thing, he deserves it. i just get pretty lonely, especially on those days specifically

No. 572630

File: 1592637661575.png (436.43 KB, 840x859, 77321B8B-8492-4964-8E32-19A3A6…)

>Finally update PC feels great to play games and actually type again
>It's overheating easily to the point of shutting off as of late
CAN'T EVEN PLAY A SHITTY GAME OF SHITTY OVERWATCH. IT WAS FINE FOR FIRST 2 WEEKS I FINISHED UPGRADING IT.

FUCK YOU SUMMER

No. 572632

I can't stop picking at my face and now I look like a plucky methhead. It replaced an 18 year long habit of biting my nails in the wooorst way, my nails used to look like I was in an accident or something they were so chewed so you can imagine my face. Think "Faces of Meth"-level ugly. It's hard to care outside of being upset because I feel so shitty though, and I realistically know it'll stop one day but right now I have blood running down the side of my face and recognize how gross I've become again

No. 572635

My boyfriend pitches his voice higher when he wants to have sex and I don't have the heart to tell him it's a turn off. I love him and am attracted to him but our relationship has been so dry in that department because of him doing that.

No. 572638

>>572632
you need to start therapy for this. it really is that bad, anon.

No. 572640

>>572635
You mean when he's horny or when he's complaining about wanting to have sex?

No. 572641

File: 1592640860004.png (480.55 KB, 676x297, Screenshot_2020-06-20 trichoti…)

>>572632
hey anon, please do research before you take medical advice from a stranger on an imageboard, but consider looking into N-acetylcysteine. It's a supplement that's available OTC that's apparently been shown to help some people with skin picking and related issues.
https://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/123-n-acetylcysteine-for-trichotillomania-skin-picking-and-nail-biting

>It's hard to care outside of being upset because I feel so shitty though, and I realistically know it'll stop one day

I feel the exact same way about my trich problem (pic related, not me). Which is why I'm considering taking that supplement myself because I don't think I have the energy to do much else.

>>572638
still go to therapy tho please, no med is a replacement for that.

No. 572676

File: 1592653106624.jpg (28.34 KB, 320x240, 1402462738919.jpg)

I'm so sick and tired of heaving health anxiety all the fucking time. If I'm not mental about loosing my already weak af teeth in the near future, I go on and on about being 1000% sure that I have cancer. And I'm not in the mood for going to the doctor several times in a short amount of time again. I just want to be healthy - mentally and physically ugh

No. 572677

>>572635
wtf please elaborate this sounds gross lol

No. 572678

I feel so terrible, I feel so bad right now. I just remembered a very forgotten memory of when I was 10 and I used to think about getting naked and hanging my ass off the windows so men passing by would you know, do things and I am just realizing how fucked up I was. Why am I remembering this now so clearly? I really didn't realize that getting molested as a kid for years fucked me up that much and everything else I have done is making sense. God I don't know. I just feel awful. Maybe a little pity at child-me haha. I just feel bad i wish i had someone i could talk to about all this im feeling right now i just want a hug

No. 572680

>>572676
shit anon, you're not alone - i have the exact same concerns too kek
but for teeth - im in dental and let me tell you… so many people have shitty teeth, and most of them are younger than you think
try to save some money for dental procedures, but dont stress too much. both my parents are from a shithole country and have gotten teeth pulled as early as 12 and they still dont have dentures in their 50s. its all a matter of money, bridges exist, implants do as well as telescopes (thats a denture you put on two to three teeth per row and is stable, looks good and lasts decades)

i feel you though kek, im in the same boat

No. 572681

>>572635
You mean like how people talk to dogs or babies or a higher pitch? Cos that's creepy

No. 572684

>>572680
I wake up every day with my upper lip swollen for months now and my molar hurts sometimes/when i drink cold stuff, but i'm too scared of people/to go out of the house to get my teeth checked out, am i going to die anon?

No. 572685

>>572684
sounds kinda bait-y, but i'll jump

is there any dental work in your mouth rn? or do you have a retainer or something? the swollen lip could be a reaction to that (some people are allergic to the weirdest shit)
or it could be abrasive, the edges on retainers get really jagged over time.

teeth sensitivity can be normal for some people in general, you could have weak enamelum or cavities in between your teeth. consider using a flouride paste once a week afte your regular brushing to strengthen the enamelum and floss!
this is going to sound disgusting, but it works: floss for a week and smell the floss - if it smells bad for days in a row, you probably have a cavity
if you already have dental work done, it could simply be the work that conducts the cold too quickly and too close to your dentine

one of my old mentors always said that a gold tooth doesnt kill you and worrying too much about it is worse than getting a filling.

No. 572687

>>571684
Tooth infections are no joke anon - listen, sometimes dental colleges will look you over for free/cheap as a way for students to practice. Is that at all possible? I don't know how they're doing with social distancing though…

Some walk-in clinics offer dental care and I've found they're cheaper than doctors sometimes. I assume you don't have insurance, but please know that there are medical places will offer you payment plans if you ask. But you have to ask.

When I was 16 we were poor as fuck with no insurance and I needed a root canal pretty badly. I was able to find some tiny dentist practice an hour from me where I think the front desk girl saw I looked disheveled as fuck with no insurance and I think she quietly reduced my bill by a major amount. I think it's worth calling around and talking to the front desks and seeing if there's anything that can be done. It's better than doing nothing, anyway.

I hope he will be okay. This too(th) shall pass anon.

No. 572688

File: 1592656367035.png (159.76 KB, 493x312, large_13d959c1a79de63b99bd4948…)

i can't improve my social skills without talking to people, but i wish i could and not exit every conversation with faux pas running through my head like horses. enacting a filter doesn't help. i end up boring the other party, or reacting too slow. not give a fuck? fuck, even the simple explanation of "muh anxiety" sounds too bloggy for the cyberspace. so glad lockdown gives me an excuse not to see people irl. the tension grows twofold. i wanna give every cool person i've met online selective amnesia that erases my existence, no matter how mundane the thought is, if it even crossed. or simply stop being. that's cool too.

No. 572689

>>572685
It's not bait-y anon thank you for answering. I'm not sure, i don't think i've had dental work on the tooth that hurts, a cavity seems possible. My brother thinks it could be an abscess. Sometimes my ears feel weird or itchy and i believe it's connected

No. 572691

>>572689
huh, that sounds a bit odd, yes. tooth pain has a tendency to spread into the head/ear, so that could really be true.
like >>572687 said, please have it checked for your own safety (tooth abscesses can kill, no joke) and sanity. i hate going to the dentist as much as the next person and it makes me terribly nervous, but going at least once a year is necessary. you can do this.
there is no shame in having 'bad teeth' and nowadays there are beautiful ceramic restorations… hell my mom gets excited when she gets a new bridge because it looks that good. the only issue is usually money

No. 572705

>>572680

Glad to hear that I'm not the only who has those fears lmao but this shit is so annoying. I already got tons of dental work done but I can't help that I got my mum's weak ass teeth. It also does not help at all that so many in my family lost their teeth or had cancer to fuel the other fear of mine.
I know you can teleschope dentures (already looked up just in case things get serious lol) but sometimes the procedure scares me more than anything else (I've just read an article of a woman who got them and said it was a pain in the ass to get used to everything ugh). It's also that I took some stuff not as serious as I should've in terms of my dental health and now I have panic that I fucked myself with that … idk this thinking pattern makes me go cray at least several times a day lmao

No. 572713

I'm pissed because the psychiatrist gave SSRIs instead of buproprion. This medication gives me patience to deal with my family (if I skip a day I start talking back, and we can't have that can we). But my anxiety is still through the roof, I can't deal with people outside, my concentration is fucked and I'm always always so, so fucking tired. No coffee, naps, suplements or salt can fix this fucking sleepiness that I have since I was fucking 13!
Buproprion wasn't a miracle cure, but I didn't feel so fucking exhausted all the time. I don't have the balls to talk with the therapist because I can't trust her but my mother does. And my family doesn't want me medicated and the SSRIs are their only allowance at the moment.
They have the usual fears: that meds are for weak people, and problems should be solved by strapping bootstraps or wtv. Bitch, I'm 27 and still 3 fucking years of finishing college. The people that started with me are on their 2nd year of work, and I'm still struggling along, passing with the bare minimum. What's the fucking point of dealing with this shit by myself if I'm still a failure? What the fuck do I care if my brain melts from medication in my 60's if my live is shit and has been shit for the last decade?
But SSRIs are fine, because the doctor told so, I they keep me quiet and playful and obedient around my mother. I maybe a wreck in all other areas of my life, but as long as mother is happy everything is perfect. Fuck what I want or how I feel or how my life goes.

I feel spoiled for resenting the mother that raised me all by herself and pays for my education, but holy shit, I'm nothing to her except a retirement fund, a obedient doll to go to her dream job, dress the clothes she likes, do the things she likes, say the things she wants. Every time I say no: I'm a piece of shit, just like my father; I'm going to end up alone, just like my father; I'm a terrible selfish person, that's why I have no friends; she is the only that loves me, and she wants to fix my bad nature, because my badness is all from my genes, I'm only my fathers daughter and I'm just a beast like he was.

No. 572746

I can't stop thinking about the complete overreaction to jk rowlings "terf" tweets. The unbridled rage and hatred people have towards her is fucking insane, I've seen posts where people were wishing she would die and treating her like she's less than human…all because she posted a controversial opinion. In fact, some of the insults and anger aimed at her are equal to (or worst than) the things people are saying about celebrities who are being accused of sexual assault. Some people hate her the same way they hate an abuser…fucking unbelievable. She literally might as well have raped someone. I've already been becoming more and more disillusioned by social media/fandom but this pretty much tipped me over the edge.

I used to roll my eyes when people would say "thoughtcrime" is becoming a reality, but I kinda see it now. One wrong move and suddenly you're thrown in the gutter. It makes me afraid to speak sometimes.

No. 572749

>>571636
Kek kek kek I cant listen to when will my life begin from tangled without bawling my eyes out. It’s a bit too accurate.

No. 572750

I just booked into a hotel and there was 3 bibles. I’m literally at a Marriott, why the fuck are these here. Not only that but they’re Mormon bibles. It would be less creepy and unsettling if there was a holy book from every religion but something about the Bible alone especially Mormon ones really give me excorcist vibes and make me want to nope tf out here. I threw them in one of the closets .

No. 572752

File: 1592669103796.jpg (56.93 KB, 1600x900, cover6.jpg)

>>572749
>never been into Tangled
>google lyrics to song
>shit
You're not alone with these feels, anon.

No. 572754

>>572612
>because you're embarrassed by how behind you are in comparison to others, not because you actually like it

Admittedly, yeah, that's my main reason. Second is possibly more embarrassing, but there's a character who I really like, and relate to, except they're really smart and good at math. It's silly but it kickstarted my want to start learning again.

No. 572755

Still waiting for my payroll which might not be happening at all. And it takes years to learn css, html, and java for web design. I’m gonna be broke once the outbreak is over. How the hell can I get a legit online hustle? I can’t do journalism since folks say don’t do it. No way in hell I can make money off of art without resorting to drawing nsfw which includes fucking. Can’t code because C++ scares the fuck out of me, so no game Deving for me. So how can I make actual money in this fucking pandemic? No one has a clue cuz most of us are unemployed.

No. 572756

>>572750
You should draw penises throughout them

No. 572759

>>572750
wait why the fuck are there three? I know in the US they usually have one, here in Aus theres 0 bibles, all pamphlets.
three fucken bibles dude what a trip. update us with what you decide to do with the other two. may I suggest throwing one onto the roof and using the other's b e s p o k e paper for rollies?

No. 572760

>>572746
For fucking real. It's absolutely absurd. Idk which is scarier, the thought that most of these people DIDN'T read her tweets/essay and are just reacting to other people's inaccurate characterizations of what she said or that they did and they're still saying "WHY DO YOU THINK ALL TRANS PEOPLE SHOULD LITERALLY NOT EXIST". And it's even more sad to me because her essay was one of the best, most reasonable and non-inflammatory statements of trans-critical thought that I've read.

Also the way that people are acting like Harry Potter is ruined/cancelled now. Like. Jfc. Silver lining is that she surely opened some people's minds, and it's kinda badass that since she's sitting on a fat billion dollars she can be honest like that in the public sphere.

>>572750
There are a couple religious "charities"/organizations that give bibles to hotels. They're in a lot of them, not just Marriotts. Very weird but be assured it is a thing.

No. 572766

File: 1592672946729.jpg (36.54 KB, 500x366, 1454857686099.jpg)

>boy starts talking to me in class
>we both like anime, I have no friends in this college, so why not
>we keep talking and hanging out during class and class outings
>we exchange instagrams
>he is a she/her trans uwu pansexual furry
>god why

I had lots of friends and socialized easily in highschool, but during college no one has really interested and I've made no new friends, and the only time I decided to bother, it's a tranny. It's like lesbian tinder but this time irl

I did not pick up on him being a tranny at all, he has such a fat man body, his only attempts of passing was growing his hair out to above his shoulders, that's literally it. Sometimes he would wear comically small dresses to class, but I thought he was just a gay man who didn't care about gendered clothing

I'm so glad he's changing course so I can ignore him much easier, I'm just praying to make friends in uni, I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't manage to find a girlfriend in that time either. I feel like a fake lesbian for never having interest in any girls in my school, I only see cute girls on the street occasionally, or maybe I've just been conditioned by heterosexuals that I'm supposed to have had several relationships by age 18

No. 572769

>>572766
gay people don't date before 18 as much as straighties. lots of people have their first gay experience in college. talk to more people (avoid those who try to talk about anime…) and you'll find friends/maybe a gf.

No. 572778

>>572766
I was in your position once, being a teenage lesbian with little to no dating/sexual experience and I was super insecure and anxious about it. I really felt like I was going to be fucked for life if I didn't mark off those milestones ASAP in high school (American HS I mean). I can tell you now that it is 100% heterosexual/media conditioning and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having 0 experience going into college, no matter what your sexuality is. I was so desperate about it I got myself into several rushed/weird/forced situations with, frankly, whoever was available, and I don't really look back on those memories fondly. I also wasted so much time being miserable and hyperfocusing on it that I could have used in so many other ways that would have been far more enriching to me as a person.

There's nothing wrong with dating in high school of course, but I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that there's also nothing wrong with not dating. It's probably annoying to hear this, but now at 22 it's so clear to me that I was still a kid when I was in HS and all of that stuff is simply not necessary, your own self development and mental health is vastly more important. Sorry if I'm being presumptuous but if I can pass that advice onto anyone I'll take the chance.

ot but, I feel like it was weirdly harmful in a way to me going through tweenhood and teenhood right as LGBT teenagers were really coming into the cultural and media spotlight. Shows like Glee that featured highschoolers in gay relationships, Tumblr, Lady Gaga, etc. Obviously there were a lot of good things about this level of cultural exposure but it sort of put this pressure on me to date in high school (especially shit like Glee my god seeing the lesbian characters made me feel so bad about myself for not having a gf) and also just to be kind of a more fully formed and confident gay person than I really was. Idk, weird opinion, I wonder if anyone else feels that way.

No. 572779

File: 1592675036090.gif (61.46 KB, 400x611, 1591381709106.gif)

i want to go back in time so much it makes me want to throw up sometimes
i want to know who I could have been without all the bullshit

No. 572782

File: 1592675951862.jpg (68.12 KB, 752x795, 1591199007031.jpg)

i keep thinking i'm ready to call out my abusive, predatory (if not downright pedophilic) ex since i've realized some things he'd casually told me about during our "relationship" when i was 17 and he was 24 don't sit right with me. they make me worried i wasn't the only one. he thinks i've forgiven him for the things he did but i still live with it every day while he goes on to have a "normal" life with his apologist gf. when i was 18, i reached out to tell her everything he'd done after learning from coworkers that he'd been with her the entire almost-year he was also fucking around with me. she'd read it and never replied but he was furious. somehow they're still together to this day.

he wants to go to grad school for music, which makes me worried that he'd become a teacher – despite him having told me he shadowed a middle school music teacher in college and when an eighth-grade girl "tried flirting with [him]" he knew that wasn't the career for him. he'd also helped out his enabling best friend/roommate at the time with running youth groups and would tell me about some 16-year-old girl there having a crush on him when we'd just started sleeping together. he stopped going after she "tripped" into his lap once.

i don't know that this would ruin his life even a little bit considering his gf's daddy holds some high position in the company he works for. he'd told me in the past that he's shit at his job and gets written up every now and again, though, so they may want to fire him anyway and just need a push? his place of work and city is public on fb and he uses the same handle everywhere. i'm a little scared that his daddy's money law school gf would try to sue me somehow, but then she'd probably have to let the cat out of the bag to her family.

i've written up a letter of sorts detailing everything but something is stopping me from posting it.

No. 572783

>>572779
Same anon I’d no joke make blood sacrifice for a reset.

No. 572789

File: 1592677829362.gif (1.39 MB, 245x220, swanson.gif)

Before quarantine, I would experience loneliness like once a month and go to the theater solo to treat it. The guy I've been with for a good minute is uncomfortable with being the "only source of emotional comfort" during this time, but wanted to make me happy so tried to set me up on a playdate with his friend a week ago. It went fine, but hanging out with people 1-on-1 is weird for me and I haven't texted her since.

Now he's suggesting I hang out with our very similar friend, but honestly I feel like we vibe so similarly that it would make us both happy to continue not hanging out lolololol.

I guess he wants someone I can vent my feelings to, and I /do/ have friends I can vent to, but I don't feel the need to have more than one person designated for this at a time. Does anyone else feel this way? Is this wrong?

No. 572798

>>572789
I don't think it's wrong to not need people.

No. 572800

A lot of my friends had their birthdays in lockdown. We played games online like Jackbox with them to celebrate. One friend felt like she couldn't ask to play them for her birthday because she didn't want to nominate someone to host it. So I organised it with our friends and bought all the games so I could host it and we could play. For another friend's birthday we had a group call and games night. We also all wrote messages about our friendship with them and it was made into a presentation for them.

And then my birthday came and we did…. absolutely nothing. No one organised anything for me. Not even an online call. I was just left to celebrate on my own. I don't know why I fucking bother. What's the point of putting effort in the friendship and making everyone else happy when they couldn't care less about me?

No. 572802

File: 1592678736571.jpg (107.11 KB, 1287x1930, Fry-The-Great-Sadness-of-Ben-A…)

i wake up everyday feeling like creamed dogshit. i'm really lonely, have no hobbies but appear normal and functioning on the outside. i wish someone would ask me if i'm ok but mental health is basically dismissed here. i would probably be doing amazing right now if i wasn't born into this family.

No. 572804

>>572789
>is uncomfortable with being the "only source of emotional comfort"
Do you have any mental health issues? Sometimes this line is more of a hint to seek therapy rather than friends.

No. 572806

File: 1592679116285.jpg (65.08 KB, 353x512, 7f98162c2cf9530337e07aa6f226ef…)

>>572779
fuck I feel this post so hard anon I could make everything better JUST LET ME GO BACK

No. 572808

>>572746
It honestly makes me sad. I quit SM because the entitlement and performative policing got so out of control. Flashback: I used to love checking MySpace and being greeted by a new friend request or playing around with HTML to hide my ‘Top 8’ and whatnot lol. FB was okay for some time, but the “Wild West” fun of the Internet was dissipating rapidly. I noticed during Obama’s terms when SJW began to gain footing and I gradually pulled back from something I used to love. I think one of the nails in the coffin was when the Gawker network of sites, Buzzfeed, and so many more adopted the “woke” platform and shoved it down everyone’s throats by silencing/call out culture. Something shifted. Being political is obligatory on SM, but only if your opinions are “correct”. People get in such a frenzy, it’s mad. :(

No. 572812

>>572798
Thanks for that validation, anon. Can't wait to go to the movies again.

>>572804
I don't think I do atm. I used to go to therapy and it still helps in my life years later, but my mental state is relatively stable now– I might get one for day-to-day after they open, though. It's something to think about! Thanks, anon.

No. 572813

I feel like I'm at my limit when it comes to my parents.I cannot handle the constant bickering and fighting anymore, it's making me go insane. And quarantine has made everything ten times worse than it was before. My mom is just nervous al the time and cannot handle any criticism. She starts crying out of the blue but doesn't want to go to therapy. That's why I have to be her emotional support for everything for years now. She talks about how she wants to divorce my dad but can't because he had a stroke, how she wants to have an affair, how she wants to leave the country etc. and it's making my soul crumble into pieces every time. I told her I cannot handle it but she doesn't care. And my dad is choleric and not the same anymore after he got sick. Also he doesn't understand what I talk about with him or makes fun of the things I'm invested in. I have to keep my feelings hidden because when I break down everyone starts crying and I feel like it's my fault for not being strong enough to keep the facade. I just want to get out. Things were so much better last year when I was living with some friends and could get some distance.

No. 572818

>>572813
>That's why I have to be her emotional support for everything for years now.

It's not my place to judge, but do you really need to? You're not their parent, they are. I'd try to leave and go low-contact. Hope things get better for you

No. 572821

>>572818
I can't really get away from it. She just comes into my room crying or goes on a tirad about her problems and what I woud do in her situation. I always say I cannot offer her solutions but she still does it and is dissapointed when I cannot help her. I plan to live on my own again very soon so hopfully it does get better. Thank you for your kind words anon

No. 572824

>>571673
I know this feeling. It's really hard to connect with people. Has anyone ever wondered if growing up on the internet and being able to find people across the world who share extremely rare and niche ideas with you has someone spoiled us? Like without the internet we would have a much lower barrier if entry for finding people we consider "likeminded"?

No. 572827

>>572579
Another anon posted about being in the same situation and I don't understand how neglectful parents can be, this is cruel. I wish you luck especially with the ADHD. For math, try doing khanacademy lessons. Learning math may be hard but just focus on trying to reach a point you can understand and manage your own finances because that is crucial. Rome wasn't built in a day, take your time and make sure to do plenty of worksheets and review because for earlier lessons repetition is key. Do you know anyone who can help you out?

No. 572829

I wish running away, changing my name, and starting a new life had actually worked. But then again, when have any of my plans ever worked? I would never kill myself but fuck I won’t be sad to see the end.

No. 572846

>>572110
She's from a generation where every applicant was at least respected enough to be give a rejection notice. Also where algorithms didn't sort through resumes and automatically toss yours out before a human can see it. And when the job market was so uncompetitive that it wasn't hard to find a job with zero experience, they would just train you.

No. 572847

I get kind of uncomfortable around my younger cousins. In a weird, embarrassing way, I'm jealous. Not only are 15 year olds 10 times more put together appearance wise now than back when I was 15 due to social media, but they are doing things and accomplishing things that I didn't at that age. I see the opportunities their family gives them, and can't help but feel a little resentment that my own family didn't give that to me, despite our parents literally being siblings and seeing each other regularly. And because they're doing so much better than I was, they'll be doing much better than I am now most likely.

No. 572848

I saw a tiktok recently of girls getting dragged for saying "nigga". Context is the joke was they see a handsome dude, but he says that (it was typed) and so they walk away. It was duetted by someone rolling their eyes and i was so confused to what was wrong until I read the comments asking for their @ and being told they've since deleted it,presumably because they're being hunted down. I mean for one, it was unacceptable the original authors done saying nigga unacceptable, but also it was typed out on screen, and am I being an ignorant racist? Was it always unacceptable to literally type the word out if you're white? If I posted this non anonymously would I be cancelled, even if just referencing the above video? I understand "don't say the n-word it's derogatory and as a violent history". But this feels like a fucking stretch and rushing sounding like I'm alt right is pushing woke culture too far.

No. 572850

>>572848
yes? Why does typing it vs saying it verbally take away the fact that you are using a racial slur all willy nilly, especially during a time where black people are reported to be found hanging from trees weekly. Arabs don't even use the word despite being called sand n words regularly. I really need to know why white people want to say the word so bad.

No. 572852

so for the past 12 or so weeks I've just been riding out quarantine because I've been stressing with my online exams. Now that they're done I can do the things I wanted to do but somehow I'm feeling like shit. I've spent so much time thinking about my uni life and friends and it makes me question if I'll ever be happy with myself or leads me to be envious of others. Not to mention now that I'm out of the exam bubble everything that's been going on is just front and centre in my head.

Also a side note but a couple days ago I got really paranoid that somehow everyone I know will find out I've been using lolcow and see my posts and will hate me for it. Rationally I know all of these feelings are just a sign that I need to make a full effort to go out and meet my friends now (outdoors with distancing of course).

No. 572858

Where the fuck is a woman with autism, bipolar, and managed BPD (and the accompanying social retardation that goes with all that) meant to find friends when she's not a raging lib? I feel like I'm not welcome amongst the sort of people who are accommodating of neurodivergency because I think trannies and furries are fucking weird.

No. 572862

>>572778
NTA but this triggered my vent
>Be a gay as gay can be tomboy bitch since fucking childhood but too much of a dense boomer to accept it
>Try to fit myself into the hetero mold all my teenage years
>Shit luck with men, become traumatized and repulsed by them, stay a virgin because the thought of being sexual with men makes me want to heave
>Meet cute girls in my early to mid 20's who want to get it on with me, still too much of a "haha I'm not gay" to take it further and reject them
>Now I'm turning 30, realized recently that I really am a lesbian and I'm not going to grow out of it but all other gay women have either long term partners, trooned out or grew out of their bicurious phase and settled with men in a traditional heteronormative relationship
>Because of these factors I get no sex, no dating, no nothing, I'd kill for intimate (physical or not) contact with someone, I swear if I was a millionaire I'd get a sugar baby or something
I'm never going to forgive myself for not dating that one gorgeous girl who was head over heels for me and rightfully ghosted me once I turned her down. Hand me the rope anons

No. 572873

I just want to fucking die. It took me 3 months to lose 15 pounds in a healthy way. I was already at a healthy BMI, so I really had to restrict and work out in order to burn off enough calories. I ruined it all by overeating every day for the past week. I emotionally ate like crazy every day and I've gained 8 pounds. I hate how easy and fast it is to gain weight and how hard and long it is to lose it.

No. 572875

>>572769
>>572778
Thanks anons, I probably shouldn't be so stressed about never having a gf before, I'm still young I suppose. I don't know why it feels like I'm going to die alone, when very few people have even met the people they're going to marry at 18, I think my brain is just being retarded and lonely

No. 572876

>>572873
You can't possibly gain 8 pounds in one week. Most of it is definitely bloat and water retention from your overeating.

No. 572877

>>572875
Not op, but all these posts made me feel better about myself too so thank you anons. Right now it seems like it'll be very hard to have a relationship at any point in my life but I'm probably just overreacting. Someday I'll meet the girl of my dream and she the one of hers

No. 572879

>>572876
What if I told you I ate like 5,000 a day for 7 days when I have to eat 1,200 just to maintain my weight?

No. 572881

>>572879
are you even reading what she said? your body literally can't absorb that much fat in that short timespan.

No. 572884

>>572881
I think so too. At some point your body would just get rid of the food without really processing it

No. 572885

>>572881
calm down…Maybe tell anon how much she realistically gained

No. 572890

>>572879
That's absolutely not physically possible. Your body couldn't take it, you'd be sick as hell downing 3000. A human body can take in roughly the double of its calorie requirement until the digestion system stops accepting it, and even then most of it wouldn't be absorbed because it'd be an impossible task for your intestines. You'd be vomiting and having diarrhea due to your body trying to expel all the extra matter it doesn't have the capacity for processing. It's probably possible for you to gain 2 pounds a week at most.

No. 572936

File: 1592701934348.jpg (10.57 KB, 196x257, 838a750efb3b8d14bb26a54196ed42…)

This dude I'm into smokes weed lightly and, though I don't actually care too much (despite being one of those nuts who doesn't even drink), I know there's a chance my mom would shoot him down for it and forbid me from dating him. I'm holding out for her getting to know/like him so she'll simply nag him lmao. Wish I wasn't such a momma's girl but I also love her and she's a great mom so it's tough.

I also hope it doesn't turn him off of me eventually. He says he thinks it's cool/cute that I'm so radically uninvolved with substances but I do fear he'd prefer a partner who would partake in similar activities.

And I'm in looooove. Makes me a chump.

No. 572938

feeling doomer

2 shootings at protesters in my city 2 nights in a row (both shootouts i think), same location where a black man was just shot by cops. shootings at blm graffitists also. all these shootings were from angry white people. basically no media coverage. cops more interested in those filthy protesters than the white agitators. one white man on police scaanner was called "victim". i feel like this will escalate into something huge

No. 572945

My mom keeps gaslighting me. I will hear talk shit about me to my father about my mental health and when I addressed her about it she pretended like it never happened and accused me of waiting too long to address it (I heard it a few days ago and tried to forget it) and is insisting that I am remembering things wrong. Then she started saying she wanted proof so that she can make sure she "can go see someone about her evilness" I'm tired tired tired.

No. 572946

I didn't know my boring little country had so many anti-goverment conspiracy theorists in it. Nothing really happens here so there's usually very little drama to get worked up about.

Well a murder happened 2 mins away from my front door and people on twitter are coming up with the most elaborate theories of corruption, organised crime and the killing being staged (there was heavy cctv and witnesses?) Local people are tweeting back that the killer was a very mentally ill man and he had been violent before.. it's a simple crime. But of course people on the opposite side of the country with theories know better than anyone.

No. 572947

>>572936
A lot of times guys don't care whether their partner has a similar lifestyle to them. They just care if you're hot.

No. 572949

nothing i do is fun anymore, like art or games or exercise. everything is such a chore. i can barely leave my bed most mornings, if i don't go to bed at 7am that is. i either eat too much or not at all. i've been so close to quitting my job and vegging in my bed for the rest of my days. i'm just exhausted being here, i have no ambition or motivation for anything… i just want to leave it all behind.

No. 572950

My sister is such an entitled cunt trying to control what color we should wear because “blush pink is ugly, I’m not gonna wear it waaahhhh!!!!”. Bitch, it ain’t your quinceñera - that shit passed.

Like tf why didn’t you say shit? Fuckin’ 24-year old getting pissy over pink dresses ha!

No. 572951

>>572936
That’s really cute anon. I’m sure it’ll be okay, if he’s really a good guy to you otherwise. It might shock your mom a bit, but she’ll get over it if she loves you.

No. 572953

I hate how my mom has such a big mouth. I never want to tell her anything, good or bad, because I don’t need her telling people about my business.

No. 572955

>>572947
>They just care if you're hot
lmao you're probably right. I forgot that common interests are often just "enhancers" for women they already find attractive
And we have many others (or else I wouldn't feel such a way) so it's probably fine.
>>572951
I hope you're right!

No. 572958

>>571900
Same sort of stuff happened to me. My siblings were physically abused by my father but I dont have recollection of it. When I was ~6 I would play with my friend and it would be centered around sex. I also 'played doctor' with a boy when I was in kindergarten. I always wonder if I was sexually abused as a kid, but I don't remember it at all. At least were not alone anon ♡

No. 572959

>>572858
i know that feel

No. 572962

>>571900
When I was the same age, around third grade or so, I also played a lot with toys sexually, and TWO of my (also female) friends tried to force me to do strange sexual things with them, like rubbing ourselves against each other or letting her brother touch our boobs stuffed with the socks. I hate thinking about it.

Anyway, my point is, somehow all my friends knew about sex at that age.

No. 572971

Just got accepted into grad school, just found out I won't be able to afford it. I'm literally holding on by a thread right now I feel like I'm about to have my first ever full fledged panic attack. My job and plans for the fall all revolved around the idea of going to grad school. I'm not going to have enough time to find a better paying and a more respectable job in my field by August. I was dead inside all during quarantine, and the idea of grad school was the only thing that kept me afloat and hopeful.

No. 572976

My boyfriend is puking right now

No. 572977

>>572538
Sounds like a disgusting community. Leave those assholes behind and don't look back.

No. 572978

Loneliness is seriously going to kill me. Im at my happiest when Im with people I can have a laugh with, a discussion with and just fuck around with. I come back feeling so energized and confident, but that happens so rarely. I don't connect with anyone in my family,all the friends and acquaintances I do have are either too mental or busy to talk with consistently. I feel like if I just had a solid group of friends growing up with I wouldnt be such a loser now. I have no help, or anyone I can talk to. And internet buddies just don't cut it at all, and Im tired of getting sucked into internet focus groups just to feel apart of something and losing my sense of self and morals trying to fit in. I don't care about losing my virginity, getting married, or starting a family, I just want lots of friends I can wait out my days with having fun.

No. 572990

>>572538
That sounds gross, I'm sorry about what those #notallmen creeps said to you. I'm assuming most male-dominated art communities are basically /ic/, hopefully you can find more female artists to hang with!

No. 573001

It's so unfair that the burden of birth control is solely on women. I don't want to have to implant something into my body or mess up my hormones. There are extremely severe potential side effects for all birth control and it's just expected of women. Not even just the physical burden but the time and effort taken to keep up with it and the financial burden usually fall on women too.

No. 573005

My 6-year old nephew tried to hump me a few minutes ago, it scared the living shit out of me due to past trauma.

Poor little weirdo must’ve seen his parents fuck since they all share the same bed at night.

No. 573008

>>573001
Abortions aren’t safe either. It’s a risky process and may be physically and mentally scarring to the one obtaining it.

But y’know: “muh body muh choice!”

No. 573010

>>573008
My issue is that there is still no option for male birth control not with the concept of using birth control

No. 573011

>>573010
They tested male birth control, but the men pussied out because of experiencing the exact same side effects we experience. So it could definitely exist, if only any man had any real incentive to take it. Pregnancy and children are considered to be "not their problem" so they don't care.

No. 573013

>>573011
Yeah I feel like it's not going to happen because it serves men to keep things how they are currently. As long as women have no real other options they are not expected to take on any of the burden.

No. 573015

>>573005
Yikes, sorry anon. That sounds uncomfortable. Something like that happened to me with my little cousin when he was that age, and it freaked me out.

No. 573017

File: 1592718449795.jpg (309.25 KB, 845x1166, 1589975240193.jpg)

Man i keep thinking about dropping out of college and just killing myself.

Im really scared of my future since Ive been reading that animators get paid shitty prices especially in my country where we get outsourced and payment is like what? $6 for one colored bg.

Idk what will happen to me at this point I dont even want to know nor find out. I just wish i didn't exist

No. 573018

>>573005
that's pretty common for young boys. creepy, but common.

No. 573020

File: 1592720420014.jpeg (137.35 KB, 686x864, DC18B137-72DB-4902-A330-B8EE96…)

I made a friend on an MMO who turned out to live in my city, but she turns out to be a total mentally ill bitch. I don’t have any friends but was genuinely excited but now she flips out on me for nothing when I don’t even know her that well. Plus she’s told me she’s an “empath” and a clairvoyant so I know she’s batshit, plus she thinks she’s gonna be a kpop star, model, voice actress etc. It feels a little narc-y to me. Plus when I mentioned I was recovering from an ED she has to constantly slip into conversations that she’s a naturally underweight anachan princess even though she “totally eats all day!!” Fuck my life. I feel like I just attract basketcases.

No. 573023

File: 1592720667565.jpg (372.29 KB, 1600x1128, d40c98f3a9fb2e7bfa2394d73b2755…)

I hate how fucking stupid I was as a young teen. The fact that nudes of me at around age 14-15 are forever on the internet somewhere, as well as photos of my face attached, along with my horrible personality pasted on the internet, is something I have to live with forever. People tell me I was being groomed, but it feels like I was asking for it. It feels like it was my fault for taking the pictures in the first place, and that it was my choice doing so, even though it was 20+ year old men telling me to do it and threatening me if I didn't. I can't stop thinking that it's definitely my fault and my choice to make those mistakes. I'm terrified to even put my face on social media even more, because what if someone recognizes me and spreads pictures again? I deserve this shit.
And yet, other girls who have been through the same thing as me, I can't even fathom thinking it's their fault. It seems so insensitive to feel that way towards other people, but not to myself.
God, I fucking hate myself. But I hate hating myself. I wish I could take back time. Yeah, it happened several years ago, and most people forgot about me and my body.. but I can't live down the shame.

No. 573024

>>573023
You can't make social media and enjoy yourself on the internet on the off chance that someone would recognize 14 year old you or even come across your nudes…..
Calm down anon. Plus that's CP, report it.

No. 573026

>>573023
How were you threatened before you even took the first pic? This is really your parents fault for letting you chat with pedos.

No. 573027

>>573026
Pretty sure it's the pedos fault for being pedos.

No. 573030

>>573023
>I know I was groomed but I feel like it was my fault!
Asking for sympathy much?

No. 573031

>>573030
Maybe guilt is part of her trauma. And maybe she could use some empathy.

Why are anons being such retards lately?

No. 573033

>>573031
It just reeks of emotional manipulation. I've seen this post countless times, and it was like:
>I know x is not true but I feel it is, pls reassure me anons
Like fuck off.

No. 573034

>>573033
Feeling guilt is a standard response to abuse, I don't think it's a manipulative statement from a victim.

No. 573035

>>573027
And its up to parents to monitor this shit instead of letting their middle class daughters sext greasy neckbeards.

No. 573041

>>573033
no, you fuck off.

No. 573046

don't know how people deal with living for so long and still want to live longer. only in my late 20s and i am so sick and tired of life.

No. 573051

>>573020
This is so fucking funny oh man, I'm really sorry anon, are you gonna break off with her?

No. 573052

The only people into me are my dude friends. but they wont say anything. its just weird vague hints

Like im pretty enough for them to like me, why can't my feelings be reciprocated for people I like? I'm not batting a million miles out of my league or anything. They're average dudes.

No. 573053

>>573020
MMOs attract an unusual amount of mentally ill people. Which is why I am also drawn to it… And that's also why I would NEVER meet someone I met on an MMO. jfc.

No. 573054

I feel very sick and it's keeping me awake, it's 4:55am. I also miss my father and hate to see my mum cry. I wish I had a few cheat codes to real life right now so badly. Now begin the waterworks

No. 573055

>>573033
Literally what is wrong with you? Which personality disorder do you have yourself? Feeling guilt over being abused is textbook coping behavior, the victim tries to reassure themselves that they could've had control over the situation but just chose not to do it, even when in reality there's really not a lot of things they could've done.

>>573031
>Why are anons being such retards lately?
It feels like they're either baiting deliberately or scroteposting

No. 573061

I'm 210 lbs and I just can't understand what the fuck is wrong with me.

Some days I'll get the hang of my eating and I'll lose like 5 lbs in 2 weeks then I just completely lose it. I can't control my eating, like I know I shouldn't eat I know I should just put the fork down but I'm so weak minded that I can't control myself.

I've gained 70 lbs in a year, I'm going to continue to gain if I can't get this under control. Before this weight gain I went from 160 to 140 but that was because I basically starved myself for like 2 months.

I need to have accountability, I try not to fall into that victim mentality.

Should I just yield and get on some antidepressants that help in weightloss? My doctor recommended it because I do struggle with depression but I genuinely thought I could manage it on my own.

No. 573062

>>573061
You do have to starve yourself as in endure the hunger to lose weight. Even I have to endure some degree of hunger to maintain a healthy weight. It's tough at times, but that's really the best way. I found what helped me the most was hating being out of shape more than being hungry. so my hatred of potentially becoming unattractive overpowered my drive to sate my hunger. Maybe you simply don't want it enough?

No. 573063

Hit all time low. Got drunk so i could manage talking to friends, it isnt even past 12 fuck sake. My depression is so bad and my meds make me feel shittier than without them, i dont know what to do

No. 573064

>>573061
if you have depression, that might influence the way you eat. maybe getting on antidepressants would help.
but what helps most is portion control. don't actually starve yourself but you'll feel hungry, that's normal.

also, work out. work OUT. body project has good videos for beginners and they encourage you to go at your own pace.
cook before the workout so you don't overeat though; whenever i work out my body wants me to eat tons of carbs and i'm not even an overeater/overweight.

No. 573067

>>573033
Even if she came here looking for empathy… Why on earth does that hit a nerve with you Anon?

Yes people want reassurance after shit like that happens to them.

No. 573069

>>573062
>>573064
I was being retarded in my vent but I've calmed down a bit.

At this point it's not a matter of whether I want it enough, my weight puts me at high risk for diabetes and I do not want to be on medication for the rest of my life.


It's just a matter of forcing myself. I have the means, I can do it.

No. 573073

>>573061
basically: losing weight requires a lifestyle change. the vast majority of people who starve or diet do it in intervals because they gain the weight back. it happened to me too. i was 220 lbs when i was 15 and maintained ~120 with healthier food staples and an active lifestyle.
i gained 60 lbs back last year because i moved to a different continent and am living with my boyfriend. months of being sedentary and eating shit. the weight started coming off once i changed my lifestyle though.

i think it's important to have a reason to change your lifestyle. try watching what the health or forks over knives. hopefully they will inspire you to make better choices. once you start eating healthier the rest will come easier. research healthy meals etc. don't buy shit you don't wanna binge. it's incredibly hard to eat large amounts of healthy food. eg, if you have 2 huge portions, one of mac and cheese, one of potato chicken and veg, it's going to be easier to eat the mac and cheese.

brain over binge is also a great book and will help you become more aware of that side of your brain that wants to consume more.

lastly, social media is an echo chamber and you can use this to your advantage. so if you surround yourself with people who inspire you to make better choices it should be easier for you. i found getting into a healthy lifestyle easier once i started getting invested in a few fitness youtubers.

good luck anon i hope this helps. you will feel so much better once you eat healthier and have a reason for it. my apologies if this sounds like a bunch of shit, my mental broke after my last reply got deleted kek

No. 573080

>>573034
>>573041
>>573055
>>573067
You seem triggered that I called out an attention seeker, maybe it's cause you're attention seekers yourselves!

No. 573093

>>573080
>everyone who points out that I am a cunt that has zero empathy and knowledge about psychological effects of abuse must be a single person

No. 573098

It really depresses me how much people hate women. It seems no one cares about it even when it culminates in violence.

No. 573102

>>573033
So, they're emotionally manipulating anonymous people on imageboards they can only be sure they're talking to in that one instance? While they're also anonymous themselves?
What do you think they're going to trick us into doing, sending them $5 for every reply they get? Do you have any more hot takes on the (You) industrial complex?

No. 573105

>>573080
Not those anons, but aren't you seeking attention right now with that post?

No. 573116

>>573098
being woman is suffering

No. 573117

>>573080
Love this reply written in the style of Trump, thank you for gracing us with your presence Sir

No. 573118

>>573093
I said yourselves, not yourself. I know there are more of you.

No. 573122

>>573080
You're the only triggered one here, It takes two seconds to say something supportive to an anon and takes more energy to argue with you..so who here is being manipulative and attention seeking? kek

No. 573128

>>572949
Wow thats literally my life except I did quit my job and just do nothing now. (didn't actually quit, had a mental breakdown and tried to kill myself)

No. 573130

I hate being a procrastinator. I literally always put things off til the last second and half ass it. What a pain.

No. 573134

>>573011
I was reading about about the trials lately and how it affected mens mood, a small number of them had depression like symptoms so obviously you can't expect anyone to endure that… except for women

No. 573160

File: 1592747213198.jpeg (7.73 KB, 299x168, download.jpeg)

I found out the name of one of my paternal grandparent's today, only because my narcissist mom who I don't speak with sent it to me in the mail with a note "Thought you might want this. If not throw it out." I'd guess the picture is from the 1920s, she's a little girl in it.

Never knew my paternal grandparents, they died before I was born I think. No one ever told me anything about them, not even bio dad who I stopped seeing at 13. No one ever talked to me about family history in general, so I learned not to care. I don't really get why she sent this to me other than to be passive aggressive near father's day. I don't want the picture as I knew nothing about this woman, but something about throwing out the picture of a little girl got me feeling a certain way to not want to do it.

No. 573162

>>573160
>I don't really get why she sent this to me
To fuck with you?

No. 573165

Father's Day sucks. I have a dead biological dad and a stepdad who molested me throughout my childhood. I know it's only a day and it's dumb to let it affect me so much but I have such a pit in my stomach. My bf has daddy issues too so at least we can wallow together.

No. 573174

>>573165
I feel this, my mom is dead so mothers day is just painful and my abuser is on my dads side of the family. Based on those two things I haven't enjoyed a special holiday in years, all those days are painful reminders and it's hard watch others celebrate.

My ex had two wonderful parents, both alive, healthy and very involved, always going out of their way to help him out. He bitched whenever mothers or fathers day came around and he had to buy them gifts..

No. 573175

>>573162
Yeah to be passive aggressive near father's day.

No. 573184

I want to drink myself into oblivion but can't. My area is all barricaded off after a murder happened near my house. Since the killing all I can see out my window is the aftermath of death. It's dragging up my own grief over losing a parent and I feel so bad for that family going through fresh grief right now.

No. 573214

File: 1592755501092.jpg (92.14 KB, 1440x1715, b80.jpg)

I fucking hate people who throw pity parties about how "wahhh nobody understands me, stop being mean to me, I'm only an asshole because of MUH TRAUMA, did you ever consider that?" and yet never stop to consider that the people around them could also have trauma or other baggage too. It's a two-way street, so don't expect other people to empathize with your struggles when you can't extend the same courtesy. Just because somebody doesn't flaunt how traumatized or mentally ill they are like a fucking trophy doesn't mean they're not struggling with shit too.

No. 573217

It has been 4 fucking months and this dude won't leave my ass alone after we talked for like a week and I blocked him after saying I didn't wanna talk and explained why. He messages me once every month with a new number trying to get me to give him a chance like fuck no please leave me alone. Fuck

No. 573220

I was so optimistic and doing so well in college at the beginning of the year.
My college barely had any online classes, professors just tossed materials at us and nothing else.
And now at the beginning of June they all decided it was time for all the exams including compensation exams that we lost.
I thought I was gonna graduate this summer, but with all the exams, programs, oral exams that every subject has I'm not so sure…

No. 573221

>>573165
I hate father's Day too. Mom's bf beat me as a kid and grabbed back of my neck until I nearly passed out. I'm currently living with them again after drama with my sister. I literally bought him a lawn chair for Father's day so he can't have his baby temper tantrum.

No. 573225

File: 1592758611113.png (Spoiler Image, 583.49 KB, 800x1200, 445.png)

Sometimes before taking a bath I look at my naked self in the mirror and think I have a pretty good body, even tho I'm so short. I really like my waist. But then I feel bad for still being a virgin and kinda 'wasting' it because I'm retarded and push people away out of fear and anxiety. I plan to change this after quarantine

No. 573228

I regret ever signing up for Fiverr. Fuck me and my stupid fucking ass for giving it another try.

No. 573231

>>573228
Are you creating or buying? I imagine how over-saturated it probably is would make it hard to create on there.

No. 573232

Sometimes I wonder if my brother abused me as a child and I just have very little recollection beyond a couple of physical fights, screaming, whatever. He's apologized to me and has hypothesized to my mom multiple times that he might have been the cause of my issues. He's got his own fair share of issues. We assume bipolar but he's never been formally diagnosed, yet his dad has it, and they're similar in temperament.
I was just reminded of it when talking to my mom about how my dad stopped talking to me when I was 8. Turns out she never sent the letter I had written to him because it detailed my brother being mean to me and she was afraid my dad would want to take me.
What the fucking fuck

No. 573243

>>573231
I'm creating. Not anymore definitely. It's true that the competition is high (in numbers, not necessarily in quality). I thought I'd try this gig economy thing but Fiverr is not going to be the platform where that happens.

No. 573244

>>572971
Hey anon, congrats on the acceptance anyway. I know it's hard right now, but I also know that you'll get through it! See if you can work with the school or even take out a small loan.

No. 573248

>>572978
Do you have a job? Honestly adult relationships for me start at work. I haven't kept in touch with any of my friends when I was younger, if it makes you feel better. It's just how it be sometimes.

Here's a video that helped me, hope it does for you too!

No. 573250

>>573046
Easy, just don't get bored or the dread slips in.

No. 573274

most people close to me have been encouraging me to try meds for years but i see more cons than pros to them for myself. i'm scared of adjustment periods, the meds not working, side effects, cost, etc. i'm a diagnosed bpdfag with chronic major depression and gad. i'm hanging out with my recently-widowed grandmother for the day and she just came in here and gave me a bottle of halved 0.25mg xans that were my grandfather's. she's convinced they'll help me but i'm especially scared of benzos. she even offered to take me to a psychiatrist if i ever decide to take that leap.

my mother tried to give me some of her wellbutrin a year ago too. it seems to be a pattern with the women in my family wanting to push meds onto me despite me declining.

No. 573281

>>573274
feel free to slide those bars my way anon…
but speaking from personal experience, psych meds should only ever be used as short term last resort. i know people will disagree but i have actually taken everything under the sun since 12 years old. i actually think it's cool of you to stay your ground, bpdfags I know jump at the chance to get their brain obliterated by chemicals because it's aesthetic or something.

No. 573287

File: 1592769503094.jpg (35 KB, 275x183, 1580154247568.jpg)

I wish I lived alone and had a nice barbeque to go to today, instead I'm dropping flowers off at my dad's grave then having some drinks with my own food probably. I also wish I could actually say how I feel about dead parents without people making it feel awkward or coming off weird. Fuck I miss them.

No. 573288

>>573287
Sorry you feel like you can't talk about your parents anon. If it makes you feel any better, you could always post about them here? I feel ya.

No. 573295

>>573033
I bet you're autistic

No. 573300

>>573225
anon are you me?

No. 573309

>>573225
Ah anon mood, and ironically I'm tall. If my face was prettier I could get away with it, but there's no way with my actual 'tism. I hope you succeed!

No. 573322

I wish I had an invasive and curious mom who wanted to know my interests, what I did at school that day, my plans for the future. My mom didn't let me go anywhere without her because she thought everything was dangerous yet she spent zero time getting to know me when I was around her

No. 573325

File: 1592774873224.jpg (36.59 KB, 800x534, crie.jpg)

I love chicken wings and want to order some but my digestive system is literally out of whack for 48 hours as a consequence

No. 573343

I seriously think I have some cluster A disorder that went undiagnosed. I need to check my ass back into that outpatient program, but I'm so scared to because of the stigma of seeking help for emotional issues that's been burned into me by family. I wish I could just tell my mom to fuck off and mind her business but I have to live with her.

No. 573346

>>573343
same lmao I have to pass it off as being 'quirky' now.

No. 573348

>>573051
Yeah, it is pretty fucking funny but sucks to deal with. If she had a bigger online presence outside of Discord and video games she would be a massive cow. Definitely gonna try to let her off easy because she's so fucing unstable and wouldn't want her like, trying to find me in public or something.

>>573053
I haven't met in person her or anything lol. We just started talking about regional stuff unique to where we live and she told me the city, and of fucking course it has to be mine. I told her I don't know her well enough to even start thinking about meeting up in person. Otherwise I've met some pretty nice people on MMOs, some are mentally ill yeah but if they're keeping it in check (she obviously isn't) I don't really care.

No. 573414

>>573300
>>573309
I didn't expected any replies, ty anons! Wish I could vent about this personally since you guys understand how I feel. I hope you have sucess

No. 573415

>>573020
>she flips out on me for nothing when I don’t even know her that well
There are crazy ppl in every game, I met a guy in a FPS that confessed to me without even knowing my fucking name

No. 573419

I hate my stupid fat shit sister. She is the only person on earth i would risk going to jail for just to murder her. Her life is worthless and I want her to stop storming into my room and pretending I give a shit about any of the events in her life. I hate having to live with her.

No. 573428

Wow I really want to kill myself lol

I hate that I saw a whole future with him, and now I see I was a dumbass idiot loving someone who isn't right for me. I deserve better. I don't know how to continue though.

No. 573438

File: 1592805297806.jpg (23.24 KB, 500x500, 6546841547.jpg)

worried about my younger brother, he really wants to have a career as a musician and he barely works on his music and has no creative vision despite being pretty skilled at production, at least imo. I got him a job at my workplace that pays a lot for an entry level job and he's constantly doing dumb shit, making dumb mistakes, calling out for stupid reasons, etc., and I know it's because he's banking everything on this fantasy career and doesn't give a shit about any other opportunities or whatever bridges he might burn. I want to tell him that he lacks money, status, connections, looks, and charisma, all which put him at a massive disadvantage despite the years he's put into learning his craft, but I don't want him to get salty. Idk I just think learning to prioritize something aside from his immediate wants and desires might be good for him. At the same time hes wanted this since he was 12, I remember him as a kid sperging about random music he discovered, pirating FL studio for him, etc. I want him to succeed I just don't think he has what it takes and I feel like the sooner he realizes that, the better.

No. 573442

I would go to the gym at 4 am everyday when I was 16. One day, this gross, short and fat 45 year old man started talking to me and telling me that he watches me workout everyday and finds me 'super motivating'. I was naive and had a conversation with him. He told me that he was a physio and would give me free sessions. He asked me on multiple occasions to go for breakfast with him (at 4am), come over to his house for some bbq (again, at 4am), and give me rides home. I never did but I can't comprehend what was going through his mind. I can't imagine being him and thinking that was okay. He never sexually abused me but that's most likely where that was headed. He did 'fix my form' once and poked my bum and I feel really ashamed. It could've been worse but idk. I hate men

No. 573447

>>573438
Shouldn't a good paying job be an extra motivation for him? That's extra bucks for nice plugins.

No. 573449

i hate my mom's boyfriend. this racist MAGA piece of shit just came into my mom's life, in the year of 2019, and she's now acting like a teenage girl in love. he fucking disregard george floyd's death, with some incomprehensible excuse, and is now backtracking his words when mom's disagrees with his views by saying the "cops are paired up in twos and if one of them does something wrong, the other reprimand them." He's also a cop, well former cause he retired like in the early months of last year.

And now this asshole is going live with us, and when? idk. i feel like the pandemic is a blessing in disguise cause he planned to be here in may. and we don't live close. it takes 14 hours by plane to get to our place since we live in a different country. and mom admired his impulsive decision to sell his house (which he is renovating at the moment), had already sold most of his things and ditch his pets (which he supposed to love with all his heart) to his daughter so he can permanently attached himself to my mom on the hips.

i don't even know what's he gonna do once he lives here. my mom planned on them to live in an apartment but that's redundant (for reasons i cannot speak atm cause this is another issue, mostly about my mom than him)

he's currently going to stay at his daughter's apartment until… idk. when the pandemic is over? it might take years and while i don't follow much american politics, the country is in deep shet with their growing cases and people acting stupid as if wearing a mask is detrimental to their rights.

and also, while he does care for the pandemic it doesn't mean he acts upon what he says. he still goes to casinos, parties and fishing with his friends and family with a reason that his state already lightened the lockdown. ALSO, if he does come here, he doesn't want to be quarantined for 14 days once he enters the country(which is a standard if you came from somewhere else). it's a good thing that airlines are closed for an indefinite amount of time.

he also hates children and have banned his cousin's kids to enter his home because one of them simply touched the screen of his tv (the moment the kid touched the tv, he forced the kid out of his home idk where maybe the backyard or the front lawn). he also kicks his dog on the chin or jaw as a way discipline them whenever the dog tries to stand up or jump and placed their front paws on his body. the dog was a chihuahua.

No. 573450

> 99.9% of autism and asperger symptoms don't apply to me in any way
> once googled why my mind feels like it goes blank in social situations and once googled why I walk into people and can't walk in a straight line
> two different reddit posts from to aspies , one talking about walking sideways and one about how their mind goes blank pop up


I need to stop googling my symptoms bc at this point the internet and apsies are convincing me that I just barely escaped autism.

No. 573458

>>573450
i feel that. but diagnoses are just ways to categorize all the ways brains can malfunction; what are the odds that everyone who isn't diagnosable will have a 100% normal brain?
unless you feel like an autism diagnosis would actually help you, it's useless.

No. 573462

I have my third therapy appointment in a couple of days and I know she's going to ask me about if I did career assessment tests like she wanted me to; to see if I could stumble upon something I wanted to do; and I did but it looks like nothing that really has me going "Oh wow I really want to learn more about this"

This sucks, having mental illnesses suck, being abused to the point where you don't think you're going to make it to 18, sucks. Especially when you think "whats the point in trying to figure out what I want to do with my life when I'm going to probably be dead anyways before I even get to do anything?"

Being stuck in a toxic household sucks. I have people rooting for me but I don't want to do anything lately. I just wanna exist and not worry about things constantly. I had a severe panic attack today and did what my friend suggested I do when I have one of them and that is to just exercise till I can't think..but that hasn't helped any lol. Legit just tired and sore and anxious as fuck still. I'm trying to stay positive but my brain is like "nah dude you're going to be a disappointment for life."

No. 573466

i remade an account on a language exchange app but remembered i have ghosted basically every single japanese friend i have ever made.
i end up getting stressed out over what to reply (i'm at a higher level so it's mostly social anxiety tbf) then never do. then i feel to ashamed to contact them again (even though i personally wouldn't mind someone doing that to me) and…yeah. here i am.
i don't know why i do this but i want to stop.
the most recent one replied to me a bit late but ultimately i'm the one who ghosted. it's so annoying. everything was going fine, we were helping each other with language stuff and hanging out at cafes once in a while. /why/

No. 573467

I got COVID. An important mentor of mine suddenly died. I had to cancel my first ever vacation that I’ve been anticipating for years and had already had to cancel once previously. My parents don’t want to co-sign my student loans, and I didn’t win enough scholarships to go to a private college I committed to so now I have to drop out and take a gap year or something. I was so excited for this year. I thought it would be the most amazing of my life so far. So why can’t one fucking thing go right for me?

No. 573492

>>573467
>I didn’t win enough scholarships to go to a private college
That's going to end up being a blessing.

No. 573496

I‘m so depressed. I’ve always been but the bad phases come and go. I‘m suicidal. My boyfriend is driving me mad as well, he‘s always worried about something and constantly, seriously CONSTANTLY dumping his worries onto me. I just wish he could finally get a job so we aren‘t together 24/7. I‘m starting to think about breaking up but I still love him, even if we aren‘t very compatible right now, and can‘t stand the thought of going through all that. I just want to die. I can‘t do this anymore.

No. 573499

>>573496
Have you ever talked to him about it?

No. 573504

>>573499
I have talked to him about his constant worrying and he knows that I want him to get a job, but it hasn‘t really helped. There‘s a lot of shit going on right now and he has the right to be worried but he‘s so neurotic. I haven‘t talked to him about having thoughts of breaking up. We live together. Also, I don‘t want to do or say something I‘ll regret because there have been times when I felt so in love. Also, with all the shit going on, I don‘t want to turn this situation even more hellish by telling him about my thoughts. I just wish I could be alone.

No. 573524

Long story short, we're moving out August 1st because our building's landlord became a criminal and the building was rented out for free to mostly criminals/her friends. This includes a tranny missing most of his teeth and a teenage mother who abuses her child and dog (multiple branches of authorities are involved). The breaking point was the tranny talking loudly to a client about their first sexual experiences with dogs at 3:40am on a Sunday night at 10/10 volume. It's not worth even talking about irl because people would think I was schizophrenic or lying. My boyfriend ended up lining up an apartment at the same rent in the same area but in a 130-year old mansion at double the square footage, built-in AC and new-yet-rustic everything. The only problem is surviving from now until then without sustaining a criminal conviction for a hatecrime against him.
I wish this was bait, in case anyone thinks as such. I didn't think this sort of shit happened in my area, I thought it was a total online-only problem so it never irked me or made me ragequit online before but this is absurd and bizarre.

No. 573526

>>573524
jesus, that sounds awful. hang in there anon. I hope your new place is lovely.

No. 573527

File: 1592835032732.jpg (9.43 KB, 300x200, tumblr_59d7763bef484c21071773e…)

I do fanfic comissions and such as a side gig but wanted to share my writing with my friends so I made a separate account to post some silly shit we could all laugh at.
One of my friends called me out saying that I was humble bragging because I earn money from my writing and in all honesty it destroyed me. I wanted to share my passion with people I know not just internet strangers but all it did was make me feel like shit.

No. 573528

>>573527
Uh what, how is that humble bragging? You just wanted to share your shit, maybe your friend is just frustrated or jealous OR you indeed have bragged, but idk I would too to an extent.

No. 573529

>>573527
sounds a lot like that friend is just jelly. don't let her bring you down, i love seeing the art and writing of my online friends, no matter the skill level.

No. 573530

>>573527
Don't take it personally, sounds like they're frustrated at their own situation and how they can't turn a profit from their own writing. I get it during these times, but still, they shouldn't have made you feel bad over something lighthearted.

No. 573531

>>573526
Thank you, I can't wait to escape to it!

No. 573543

>>573527
Your friend is just jealous that they don’t have your talent. Keep sharing with your friends!

No. 573546

File: 1592837954674.jpg (63.17 KB, 680x662, f5e.jpg)

I think I'm finally hitting rock bottom and forced to face what a complete and utter loser I truly am.

No. 573552

File: 1592839294048.jpeg (86.66 KB, 540x556, AC11A70C-F26E-4AE6-92C7-ED71F5…)

>>572782
samefag. this didn't get any responses but i just wanted to share that i did it. today's my 22nd birthday and i decided 5 years of carrying that weight was too much and posted the letter. i'm pretty proud of myself. i feel so much freer now. pic related was commented under my post by an acquaintance and made any thoughts of deleting it go out the window.

No. 573556

File: 1592840274501.jpg (10.34 KB, 250x250, 3YqQrz9n_400x400.jpg)

dunno if it's the right thread but there's this guy i met through a mutual friend at a party. he followed me on insta, twitter, answered my stories and we were supposed to smoke weed together. he was pretty much everything i look in a guy and then we matched on tinder, he went to talk to me and directly sexualized the convo and when i told him that booty call weren't my thing, he stopped answering…

why are men like that

No. 573558

People who spend their entire work shifts bemoaning about how they don’t want to be there, without putting any effort to address their problems are a massive drain to be around.

No. 573562

>>573428
Distract yourself, anon. You can do whatever the fuck you want now. I'd start with rearranging your living space.

No. 573566

>>573552
Good for you, anon. People like that deserved to be called out and not have their actions swept under the rug.

No. 573567

File: 1592841730511.gif (878.58 KB, 300x167, 1391643937039.gif)

>>573504
Don't light yourself on fire to keep him warm, anon. I was your boyfriend three years ago and my long-term partner broke it off with me. It was terrible for a few months but honestly it was the best decision. You can love each other, but it doesn't mean you're right for each other, and I guarantee that you'll love someone else just as much (or more!) in the future. Hugs, hope you figure it out.

No. 573569

>>573556
Delete Tinder, gurl. It's nothing but scrotes looking to get their dicks wet. He's just one man out of millions you can fish for, don't worry about it too much.

No. 573570

Lol I just accidentally bleached my kanken bag, had it for several years.

It's honestly my favorite possession, it was the first time I made the conscious decision to buy something more expensive for the sake of durability (and it was cute) instead of those cheap, overpadded rucksacks that fall apart within a year, breaking the cycle trained into me by my parents.

In my mind it was the first step of getting out of that poor mindset, so it was a significant purchase and even though it looked worn after a few years I loved it. I tried to take extra care by using stain remover lightly today and now there are whiter patches around it, and not in a cute way. It feels rough and horrible on those areas and I feel so stupid. I also feel stupid for getting so attached to a backpack. It's mainly a cosmetic and sensory difference, it still carries shit the same. But it's not the same and it's ruined my FUCKING day.

No. 573572

>>573570
I feel this, I get so frustrated with myself when my posessions get damaged. Maybe you could cover the spot with a patch or maybe embroidery?

No. 573573

>>573570
That sucks. I don't think there should be any shame in getting a bit attached to certain possessions. Maybe you could cover some of the patched areas with pins or something. If not I would slowly save up to buy a new one. They are very durable (and cute ofc) after all so definitely worth the splurge imo.

No. 573574

I hate being single AND friendless like, who tf am I supposed to talk to now? lolcow has stuck with me through all my emotional ups and downs so at least I have this place. I want a qt bf though… soon…

No. 573575

I've been unquenchably thirsty since yesterday, I don't know what to do I just drank half a litre of water and I'm still so thirsty and my mouth and lips are dry and I just keep going to the bathroom. I've been drinking like half a litre every hour I don't know what to do, my blood sugar levels are normal. I didn't have anything especially salty to eat. I feel horrible please does anyone have any tips

No. 573578

>>573575
>I didn't have anything especially salty to eat.

That's why. You need electrolytes or potassium, anon. It helps retain water in your body.

No. 573581

>>573578
Thanks I'm gonna go eat some meat or something

No. 573587

THE IM NOT A ROBOT TESTS ARE SO FUCKING ANNOYING. TODAY IT MADE ME POINT OUT ALL THE "STATUES" AND WOULDN'T LET ME THROUGH UNTIL I REALIZED IT MISTAKENLY IDENTIFIED A FUCKING CHAIR ON AN APARTMENT PORCH FROM A MILE AWAY AS A STATUE.TOOK ME 10 FUCKING MINUTES TO GET THROUGH.

No. 573590

>>573587
These tests made me realize that I'm a robot

No. 573611

Idk how males are considered the smarter gender. I noticed since restaurants, bars and theaters have closed down guys dont know how to do dates without suggestions. Even before corona they would still ask "what do you wanna do?". Its fucking annoying.

Parks are still open. You could take a girl on a nice picnic where you spend less than 20 dollars on picnic food and you could wear a face mask.
You could go for a hike etc etc

They have no creativity. And these are men 28+.

No. 573612

>>573611
But if he take you to somewhere you don't like, you'll bitch about it endlessly. I got a lot of friends like you. Why don't you pick a place together instead? What's so hard about that

No. 573614

>>573587
you can thank google for crowdsourcing that shit.

No. 573619

>>573612
wtf, what's wrong with all those robot tier posts lately? the least a guy can do is at least suggest a place, and not constantly ask the other person to make decisions for him.

No. 573630

>>573612
Its annoying that their brain cant think up any suggestion beyond Netflix and chill

No. 573632

>>573611
I'm pretty sure woman are considered the smarter gender though

No. 573633

>>573619
Why can't both of them decide on a place together? It feels like you're expecting men to pick shit like we're still in the 50's

No. 573636

>>573633
Because he asked. He should be creative and come up with a date that isnt ordering a pizza dnd watching Netflix.

No. 573637

I put high quality turmeric on my face as a face mask and now my face is completely stained yellow. I already tried to wash it off like 4 times but it won't come off. Will I have to live with a yellow face for the rest of my life? I don't want people to make fun of me at work. Pls help

No. 573640

>>573637
> Will I have to live with a yellow face for the rest of my life?
Not sure why you fell for the tumeric meme since it's generally used as a colorant and dye. As for permanent, not on skin. Skin layers shed so it won't be permanent. Just don't overwash because then your skin won't be so raw.

No. 573644

>>573637
lol, maybe give oatmeal a try? Wet rolled oats and gently rub on face.

No. 573650

>>573637
Im so sorry but this is the funniest thing I’ve
Read all day. I’m hearing you can use baking soda distilled apple cider or regular vinegar and let it set for 2-3 minutes. Just maybe moisturize a lot after because that will probably dry out your skin. Good luck!

No. 573655

>>573637

What did you mix it with? I use high strength turmeric in face masks pretty regularly but you have to mix it with lemon or something to take the edge off. It might just be exfoliation and foundation for the foreseeable; my condolences.

No. 573656

>>573566
thank you. my 18 y/o coworker read the long-ass exposé I'd posted and contacted me to ask about my predator's roommate i'd mentioned being a high school youth group pastor and then freaked out when it turned out she'd known him when she was 15. said the roommate always made her feel oddly uncomfortable. made me feel so sick that I'm now drafting an email to my predator's current job's hr.

No. 573659

>>573567
Thanks, anon, that‘s a sweet response. I don‘t know if I‘ll break it off (just yet at least), but your reply was really helpful anyway. (I‘d post a cute emoji right here if I could!)

No. 573662

I’ve started a new antidepressant medication and it’s making me miserable. I‘m absolutely exhausted and spend all my spare time laying on the couch or floor waiting until it’s time to go back to sleep, have no appetite and feel physically sick when I force myself to eat, and have zero interest in any of the things I used to enjoy. The day I shifted the time I take the pills from morning to evening and so went more than 24 hours without them was the best I’ve felt since starting this medication. When I bring this up to anyone, including my psychiatrist, they just tell me that it’s normal for medication to have side effects and I should try to live with it and definitely definitely not stop taking them without permission. But it’s not like I’m on livesaving chemotherapy or anything like that. What’s the point of antidepressants that make you feel worse?

No. 573676

MY FEET ARE SO SWOLLEN DUE TO THE HEAT, I AM SO DONE, MY FEET LOOKING LIKE GODDAMN PINK PAWS. DISGOSTING, SEND HELP.

No. 573685

>>573662
They have an adjustment period where it makes you feel like shit before your body gets used to it and the side effects chill out. Mine were terrible (I think bc I'm a tiny person) so my psychiatrist suggested I take a fourth to start and work my way up to half. I never did though and just kept it at fourth until I finished my treatment.

No. 573705

i fucking hate men. genocide and female parthenogenesis when?

No. 573714

File: 1592863689250.gif (644.55 KB, 500x580, 1408454595754.gif)

When I was 17, a friend during our high school picnic randomly came up from behind, put his hands on my hips, and then kind of stood there with his chest on my back, his arms around me like we were a couple. He had never given me any indication that he liked me. Being a kissless virgin, I was too confused to do anything so I just froze.

He FB messaged me a love confession/poem like a week later. I replied with a one-page angry essay about how he was an idiot for his feelings.

For years afterward, I felt guilty but was too much of a sperglord to reach out and apologize. It wasn't until I talked about this with my partner a few days ago that I realized that what he did was insanely weird and violating.

No. 573716

Cool, cool. I got really upset last night and straight up ugly cried louder than I ever had without realizing the window was open. I also screamed at my boyfriend to get away from me when in reality he was only trying to comfort me. Someone called the cops and they put my bf in cuffs immediately because he was "big and threatening" and kept trying to insist something bad was happening while I am still in the middle of crying even more now trying to tell them it's all my fault and father's day just has me fucked me up. It ended well despite me being so upset while trying to let them know the situation. I feel so stupid and embarrassed and mainly really bad for my boyfriend. He didn't deserve that treatment from the police.

No. 573723

>>573716
On the plus side, your neighbors cared about your life and the police took the case seriously and your boyfriend obviously cares too.
It sounds like you had a really rough day anon but you're not alone

No. 573730

Everyone is going to think this is a fake post, but I'm absolutely devastated to the point of unironically killing myself and I need to let it out.

I'm sleeping with a married father 30 years my senior. I'm 26. We've been secretly "dating" for 2.5 years. He's successful– a scientist and professor– and his brilliance is something I adore. He has been absolutely nothing but sweet to me, never making me feel like a sex object. In fact, he was the one who pushed it to an emotional level in the first place. He calls me, makes a real effort to be a good "boyfriend," and never dismisses my problems. He never gave me empty platitudes to make me feel better.

Lately I've been feeling so hopeless. I naively thought he would leave his wife when we first got together. It all kind of came to a head when I called him a few hours ago, asking to talk about it. I told him everything: how I thought he would leave his wife, how I wanted to be with him. He was upset, but he gave me an honest answer. He said his children are pretty young, and he is worried about not being able to see them; he's worried his mother will never talk to him again given her relationship with his wife; he's worried about his job, because he doesn't know how the optics of that would work. He said that every aspect of his life would be impacted by leaving his wife of 15 years. He said that if he didn't have kids, it would be less of a problem– that he isn't happy in his marriage. He told me he was sorry for leading me on and he should have been clear from the beginning.

I asked him, "Why did you tell me that you loved me, then? Why couldn't we just have sex, so I wouldn't get attached?"

He said, "Because I love you. I know I led you on. I'm so sorry, anon. I do love you. I wish things were different." I just hung up because I almost passed out.

I know I'm a piece of shit. I know I'm retarded. But I am so head over heels in love with this man, and no one has ever made me feel so wanted and beautiful and smart before. Deep down, I knew this was going to happen, but I feel like I can't breathe.

What do I do? Kill myself? Ghost him? Tell him I'm leaving him? Stay with him? I seriously want to die. I need a hug. I hate that I feel like I've ruined my life by doing this.

No. 573731

>>573723
Thank you anon. I think I am feeling really guilty about my boyfriend possibly getting in trouble over my actions. A couple neighbours saw him get put into cuffs.

No. 573733

>>573730
You were stupid and you got played. If you feel like shit, you deserve that but everyone makes mistakes.
Lesson learned. Now next time you will know better not to fuck married men and not to fuck men old enough to be your father.

This is only an issue if you continue being stupid.

No. 573734

>>573730
You are an absolute mess in many ways. Seek some fucking help, literally get a therapist. Not for the tragic loss of a disgusting old MARRIED MAN WITH KIDS, but for having the low self esteem to go near him to begin with.

Stop being so self pitying btw, the person who really suffers here is his poor wife and kids. Put yourself in her shoes and wonder if you have any right to feel so sorry for yourself.

No. 573736

corona chan isolation and unemployment has finally crept it's way into my psyche. starting to feel the suicidal thots again lads. i feel like i'll never be good enough. cant keep a relationship, romantic or platonic. my career in art is null if not worthless. i'm a leech on society and too weak to end it.

No. 573737

>>573730
You knew he was married and that was wrong but ultimately you did communicate how you really feel and you are the younger party so I do feel bad for you. I know it seems hard, but you need to ghost him altogether and don't look back.
He wants his cake and wants to eat it too. He wouldn't have said all that shit about feeling bad and how it would be easier if he didn't have kids if you hadn't said anything. I know it doesn't feel like he's using you but he is.
Easier said than done, but you should move on. If he hasn't left his wife and children by now He never will and even if he did, trust me you do not want to be with someone like that.

No. 573738

>>573730
>He's successful– a scientist and professor
Are you a graduate student by any chance?

No. 573739

>>573730
killing yourself because one man doesn't love you..
get some therapy for your bpd

No. 573740

>>573731
>>573734
>>573739
Responding not to argue but just to keep my mind occupied and maybe give some more insight.

Yeah, I am in therapy. I don't have a BPD diagnosis– just anxiety. I have been for about four years now. I don't think he's disgusting but understand that point of view. I'm very attracted to him; I really don't have daddy issues, and I'm surprisingly not insecure. I'm pretty attractive, I think, and dated a lot of men before him. No married men, but I do recognize how retarded I am.

Your posts upset me but I know you're right. Minus the BPD anon, I guess.

>>573737
Thanks for some non-tough love. Beggars can't be choosy but I know you're right and I needed to read a post like this. I know I am partially (50/50?) to blame and won't deny that. Thank you, anon.

>>573738
No. I have been through grad school (and am employed now), but he teaches at an institution I've never attended. He's never been my professor or advisor or anything like that. I probably should have said that in the OP…. sorry

No. 573742

>>573619
You know why.
It’s so fucking soy to me when a man can’t take initiative and plan a date that will thrill a woman. It means they haven’t paid attention to your interests and personality at all. They just want women to be a “taco bell and taking turn on the PS4” type bitch.
>>573705
I’m down. You free tonight?

No. 573743

>>573740
You're crying over a man who is only a decade away from wearing diapers and needing a nurse to clean his ass. Get a grip lol

No. 573745

>>573730
>he said he’d leave his wife
Lmao tale old as time. You deserve it, stupid bitch. Was he at least paying your bills??? Cause if not, whewww, you got used thoroughly.
No one who loves you would keep you as a dirty little secret. He was just role playing his way through a midlife crisis pretending he’s still a school boy dating a school girl.

No. 573746

>>573740
You're educated and young. Don't waste your time on a dinosaur who cheats on the mother of his children. You can do better. It wouldn't surprise me in the least bit if he's got other affairs going on. That's why I was concerned about you being a graduate student, those types are always looking to advise female students.

No. 573749

>>573740
Don't beat yourself up too much and try to learn from this. I know it probably hurts like fuck but look at it this way, you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you, more friends to meet and places to go and he will finally be forced to deal with his own life problems. Perhaps he won't and will continue to try and escape in other ways, but the point is that at least YOU know it's wrong. You can still grow and change. You are probably idealizing this relationship more than what it really is. You say he's intelligent and kind but intelligent and kind men don't fuck women young enough to be their daughters and string them along telling them they 'love' them.
I fell in love with someone else while in a relationship and pretty much the moment I was interested, I broke up with the other person to be with the new person. It was a 3 year relationship but I did the right thing. My ex partner was mad and defaced a lot of my property, (we lived together) and all of this was even before he knew I was interested in someone else. He was simply pissed off I ended the relationship. I KNEW he would go psycho but I still bit the bullet.
I was 23. This man you speak of is in his later years and he's such a coward, he can't even end things to be with you. That's not love.

No. 573751

File: 1592869542928.jpeg (13.35 KB, 113x124, 1541934239380.jpeg)

>>573730
i don't know what part gives me more embarrassment, you probably expecting him to quit everything immediately and come running to you with his bags packed and two tickets to LA so you two move there together and spend the rest of your lives like this is a lana del rey song, or that half assed excuse of his and how he cannot leave his children wah wah wah

i hope you get your shit together anon

No. 573752

>>573746
Yeah. He says he hasn't cheated on his wife before (I asked, kind of referring to the typical prof/grad student stereotype), and he said he hasn't, but how can I know that for sure? I know you're right.

>>573749
Thank you for taking the time to type this out. Should I just ghost him? Do I even owe him an explanation?

>>573751
I thought I had given him enough time. I understand I was naive, but there's a reason I didn't press the issue so much until 2.5 years into it. actually kek'd at that reaction image tho, ty.

No. 573757

>>573752
You honestly sound really level-headed about this whole thing and your feelings seem justified to me. I don't know why so many anons in this thread are attacking you, but my guess is jealously tbh. Hopefully your therapist is able to give you some more constructive feedback and help you heal from this.

IMO, this guy definitely preyed on you and the power dynamic in your relationship was grossly skewed from the get-go. I wouldn't be surprised if he were emotionally manipulating you from the beginning.

I don't think you owe him an explanation, tbh, unless you sincerely believe that would help YOU in anyway, his feelings aside.

No. 573758

My bf left without telling me. Then when he came back he ignored me, while I was crying. I ended naked on the kitchen floor ugly crying because that was just too much. He knows that the silent treatment kills me. We didn't even have a fight.

No. 573761

>>573730
>>573740
>>573752
Every excuse he gave you is crafted to lessen his responsibility. He's telling you "I'm miserable but I'm trapped, please continue sleeping with me but don't tell my wife, who makes me miserable." He probably pursued an emotional relationship because you'd have wised up sooner if he hadn't.

No. 573763

>>573730
Over 30 cow here to tell you 26 is still young these days. You could have another 2 serious relationships before you officially became sad cat lady status. I know someone doing this at 31 and man, it's not a good look. Honestly, the reason these situations are so sad is because the feelings are real, but one of you has already lived their adult life. You have not. This shouldn't be your future, and there's really no reason it should be. This guy, maybe he's OK and lonely or whatever, but sucking the prime years out of someone in their 20s when they have the energy to rebound from this type of shit and other shit is very dishonorable, in my opinion.

>>573757
It's not jealousy, it's tough love. If easy love worked, she wouldn't still be pursing this, and no, I don't think a 56 year in a consensual relationship with a 26 year old is a gross power-dynamic.

Girls give men waaaay to much credit in the manipulation department. They don't really think about why they do anything 90% of the time. This is probably some dopey lonely guy who got a boner when this open and willing mid-20s chick gave him a "break". But, men are weak-willed usually, so one trist turns into a side relationship. Men are lazy. They let the girl dump themselves. It usually takes a situation like this, where the woman is incredibly upset and the guy is like "well, this is what is to me, so sorry you feel bad"

OP, you need to just call it off and be done with it entirely. No dipping back, no tipping off the wife, just let him go. I don't know you did it. I think most girls do it because they feel like they've cheated their way into feeling secure and free without having to take risk. There's no risk in being the side-chick if the guy can hide it well enough. You need to accept that to receive true love, you need to also give it. Don't look for shortcuts. Do the work. Good luck.

No. 573764

i cut everyone off when school ended, i didn’t have a lot of friends in the first plaxe but at the time i was in a really bad place and wanted to be alone but now im bored asf i genuinely have no one irl to talk to :P

No. 573768

>>573752
>Do I even owe him an explanation?
No, you don't and it's not like he hasn't heard it before.

No. 573769

>>573757
Thanks. I know I am fucked up right now but I'm genuinely not typing this out to get sympathy: I'm being forthcoming with my feelings and trying to illustrate how painful this is for me, irrespective of me being a fucking moron. I get that I fucked up. I know I did. I've always known that I was fucking up, but that doesn't make the hurt that I feel right now any less real.

I don't think I owe him one. You're right.

>>573761
When you put it like this it really upsets me and holy shit you're also probably right.

>>573763
Thank you for your wisdom. This helps.

Anons I love you and I really needed this. I know what I need to do and I'll do it. I'm fucking sobbing while reading comments on an imageboard. jfc. I needed this though, as I said.

No. 573773

I got laid off from my dream job because of fucking covid and now I'm back to square one. I can't even hold out hope that it'll get better and my boss will reach out to me because almost everyone from my department got laid off, including SVPs. I just wish my company wouldn't have given us hope that their finances would totally get better by summer and nothing is wrong here at all. At least then I would have been able to start looking for a new job before over 2000 other people started competing for the same jobs as me. Ugh I feel so stupid.

No. 573777

how do i stop crying myself to sleep every night? my mind visits the worst places whenever i go to bed.

No. 573779

>>573777
Invest in headphones/ASMR/audiobooks. Distract yourself until you learn to shut up your brain. DONT read bad news/angsty fanfic whatever after 8pm. Also, work out during the day so you're too tired to dwell on stuff at night

No. 573780

>>573773
I feel you, anon. I lost basically everything to COVID, even a fucking volunteer position that I had every Friday. Now looking for work is a massive pain in the ass because so many people are just as desperate as I am.

Ffs, I just applied to a basic front desk position at a gym for $12 an hour, which I am extremely overqualified for. I got an interview, but the AGM said that there's like 20+ other people applying for the same position, so I'm really not holding out hope that I'm going to get it.

No. 573783

>>573730
I was in a similar relationship in my early 20s (I was a complete dumbass), and what he's telling you is as old as time. "I love you, but she'll take my kids/she'll kill herself/I'll lose my job/I can't financially go through a divorce/whatever else" is just an excuse. No one who loves you will leave you on the back burner while being in another relationship, and certainly not for almost 3 years.

It does feel bad, but don't be someone's second option. Have clarity and confidence that someone who won't make you a priority isn't worth obsessing over. Just because he called you on the phone and didn't dismiss your problems doesn't make him a great person, that's the bare minimum of human interaction.

No. 573784

>>573752
And if you have any second thoughts, then please remember that he's been leading you on for over almost three years knowing you wanted a serious relationship. That is three years you could have spent already building such a relationship with someone who actually wanted one. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I think it needs to be said.

No. 573785

>>573763
I mean, I think your advice and tone may constitute a tough love approach, but the other anons who are just telling her she's an idiot with BPD without actually offering any actual feedback are just being shitty.

Btw, y'all really need to give it a rest with the BPD accusations, both of yourselves and others. The disorder has basically become a misogynistic meme at this point used to shame women in abusive relationships who show any semblance of mental instability whatsoever as a result of said chronic abuse.

No. 573788

I fucking HATE EE phone service

It's the most expensive awful phone service / store ever

I cannot WAIT until my contract is up so I can fuck them off for good

No. 573790

>>573780
I'm sorry, anon. That absolutely sucks. I'm just hoping they give another round of the unemployment paycheck boosts so people will stop trying as hard to get a new job and I can weasel my way in while everyone is enjoying their government sponsored PTO.

We'll get through this.

No. 573791

>>573769
If he cheats on his wife with one of his 24 year old graduate students and it's found out, then both his home life and his career might be ruined. This is more true than ever because colleges are a lot less forgiving about that shit these days. On the other hand, if he cheats on his wife with a fresh out of school 24 year old masters student and it's found out, then only his home life is fucked. You're a hedged bet.

No. 573792

>>573730
when will people in general, especially women, learn that if you're in a relationship with someone who's cheating on someone else, don't trust them. i always see excuse after excuse. the situation is messy or they just need time. if someone needs another person to end their "terrible" relationship, they are going to be an emotional, immature wreck. imagine dating someone who's like 50 and thinking that it's normal for them to not have their shit together and actually get out of the relationship first.

No. 573793

>>573780

Thats terrible anon, I hope it works out for you.

Im struggling to get work myself. It's a fucking nightmare.

No. 573818

>>573792
It's so arrogant tbh. They always think they're going to be the exception, that they're special, and they get off on thinking they're better than the other woman. I have all the sympathy in the world for women who are taken advantage of and treated like shit… unless they got into that situation by enabling a man to treat another woman even worse. Being cheated on by the father of your children with a much younger woman is fucking horrific, every woman's nightmare. A 26 year old has no excuse for being so willfully blind and supporting male cruelty.

No. 573820

>>573818
This is a good way of looking at it. Imagine the mother of his children, she likely knows nothing of his adultery and probably speaks highly of her husband believing he's a great human being and good father. Meanwhile, he talks shit about this woman to his mistress half his own age and blames her for his life being miserable. Even if he were willing to divorce, is this really a person you want to pursue a serious relationship with?

No. 573836

I suspect my bf has a XYY syndrome which would mean he's infertile. It fucking sucks. I used to mostly just want to adopt but for a while I've been wanting to get pregnant one day. He also really wants a biological kid. I hope I'm wrong but for real he has so many symptoms, except maybe for tiny balls but tbh I don't know what's the regular size for balls and his do kinda seem on the smaller end.
Also sucks that it means he'll probably never be as built and muscled as I'd like bc less testosterone.
I guess we'll know for sure when we try for a baby and it fails and he needs to get cringe tested, which will be in a few years. I think he should know but how the fuck do you tell someone you think they have an extra chromosome.

No. 573839

>>573758
You both sound like you have issues, while what he did is mean, your reaction is mentally ill tier and you’re probably dependent on him for your happiness. Get it together pls

No. 573842

>>573836
Do you mean klinefelters (XXY) syndrome instead? XYY doesn’t affect fertility as much and men who have it have higher levels of testosterone on average while men with klinefelter are soyboys

No. 573844

>>573842
Ah yeah I do, thanks.
>tfw he love tofu

No. 573846

>>573836
Try suggesting genetic testing for the both of you. That way it doesn't seem like it's only his problem. He might not have XXY but there might be some common gene between the two of you that can cause problems.
https://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/genetics/tests/health-101-genetic-testing-before-during-pregnancy/

No. 573848

I was really sick in like late-March/early-April, had a hard time breathing and a bunch of other symptoms during my period (which is usually almost painless) and everytime I talk about it to my family or friends they suspect I had the covid. It started with jokes like "lol what if it was the covid lol xD" but they're more and more serious. It took a while to recover and I couldnt see a doctor back then because they had too many patients so I'm starting to wonder too, but at the same time I'm starting to wonder if I'm not becoming a hypocondriac instead due to previous bad experiences.

No. 573885

>>573758
Does he give you the silent treatment a lot? Sounds manipulative, especially if he expects you to apologize profusely.

No. 573908

>>573818
>>573820
A lot of young women are way too eager to buy into the trope of the mean nagging frigid wife and the poor lonely put-upon husband who just wants to be loved. They don’t feel bad for the wife because the husband has painted her as emotionally abusive or neglectful and they can’t empathise with someone whose situation they’ve never been in themselves. There’s a reason these guys always cheat with much younger childless women and it’s not just physical.

No. 573919

>>573556
If booty calls aren't your thing, why are you hanging out on booty call app?

No. 573922

>>573779
Sounds like unhealthy avoidance of issues to me

No. 573929

I’m actively looking for work but my husband keeps phrasing it as if I’m unemployed by choice. Like “It would be great if you’d start working too” vs. “It would be great if you could find work”. I don’t think he understands how hard it can be for people who aren’t him to find work. We’re both in STEM but I’m in the oversaturated biomed field and he’s in computer science. We’ve been to job events together and when I approached recruiters from biomedical companies they would blatantly ignore me and try to recruit him even after he said he already has a job he’s happy with. He’s had job offers out of the blue from people he met at random social events. For him, unemployment would be a choice. But for me it isn’t.

No. 573942

>>573929
Fugg what country are you in? I have same problem tho I’m single, I guess we’ll have to lrn2code, also hand his ass back to him cheap mf what’s his problem with you not working

No. 573943

>>573942
>cheap mf

You're trash

No. 573949

>>573943
lol r u a scrote or a pick me? Either way what’s wrong with the wife not working when the man can afford it? It’s not like anon doesn’t want to work or never had ambitions. if you are that poster then I apologize for calling your husband cheap, it’s not the end of the world tho.

No. 573953

>>573943
Broke faggots don’t deserve anything

No. 573961

When people say "don't fixate on your youth" what they actually mean is "let go of all the things associated with youth". I want to ideally accept my age in the future but also do what I am not able to do in the present…dae feel this way?

No. 573963

>>573949
Neither

OPs Husband acts like an asshole, but being cheap isn't the issue

No. 573966

My country is preparing to tighten the control for people who get referred to a trans clinic to receive treatment (HRT and surgeries) meaning they'll have to go through a more extensive evaluation to see if they have underlying mental problems as the primary cause of their gender dysphoria (sexual trauma, depression, psychosis, personality disorders autism etc.) or that they're not straight out lying to get body-altering surgeries like a lot of "nonbinaries" do. This was because such a sizable amount of patients identifying as nonbinary/genderless reported disappointment in their treatment, especially with surgeries and HRT causing them pain/other complications and having unappealing results. As for kids aged 12 to 18, studies showed that psychological intervention and therapy helped them much more efficiently than putting them on blockers which didn't help with their gender dysphoria at all.

The trans activists are of course going full retard protesting against it but the kicker was that I saw some real hot takes from them saying that people should stop waving the pride flag and focus on gay rights and start talking about trans rights instead. On top of all that they're arranging a huge protest today even despite the pandemic going on right now and social isolation being still in effect. I literally have no sympathy for these idiots anymore.

No. 573972

I did so shit at my exam I just want to get drunk and pass out

No. 573975

>>573966
Torille i assume

No. 573976

>>573975
Correct. I'm so relieved at least our health professionals have more than two functional braincells.

No. 573979

File: 1592913356652.gif (1013.1 KB, 320x240, 2B2C2074-0330-422C-A15A-4F6CB4…)

I hate all you academic Stacy anons. (No, I mean, I don’t hate you but you make me so jealous.)

Reading all your posts makes me want to cry. I‘ve wasted my late teens and early 20s due to crazy parents, mental illness and drug abuse. Kind of a Luna Slater-esque situation. I’ve been clean for a few years but now I‘m scarred, tattooed and kind of fat and currently in school to get my high school diploma (I’m an eurofag but that’s basically what it is). I wish I could go back in time or at least to believe in reincarnation so I could have just a speck of hope that I’ll end up in a stable home and become a beautiful, stable med student Stacy who reads Proust and goes hiking with her friends every week in my next life.

Of course, I’m doing the best that I can with what I have in this life and I’m trying not to hate myself but my best will never be like yours and I’ll probably always be disappointed in myself.

I know that there’s people who have it way worse but I just needed to feel sorry for myself for a second.

No. 573992

>>573929
Heyy same situation, down to the disciplines. Except my partner literally got a job offer because he won a coding contest for a company he interviewed at and was turned down for in the past, so he gets that his field is easier to become employed in.
I tried to learn code several times, even just python because coding can be useful for us, but jesus it's so boring and confusing.

I wish there were biotech contests, winner gets a job.

No. 573993

>>573979
Anon it took me my late 20's to get the equivalent of a High school education and even longer to get a job but from that point 5 years I can say that I'm happy, I didn't have my planned perfect life but I do have a nice life with Friends and a home of my own

No. 574001

I hate that goddamn show Scorpion which my parents watch all the time, I just can't stand it, the gimmick is that the characters are all 500 iq geniuses and use science to stop disasters or something and they always come up with solutions that are like someone read an article on wikipedia and decided they know everything about science. It's more ridiculous than jojo. One time they had to saw something but quietly so they recorded the saw noise on a phone, inverted the signal and played it back so the noise would cancel by interference lmao. And when the main character said he proved fermat's last theorem at 11 years old I just mcfucking had it.

No. 574004

>>573979
Don't worry anon, hiking Stacy is a meme, those people are dumbfucks too, just embrace who you are and that everybody has their own issues and timing in life. Don't try to be someone you are not. Proust is also highly overrated.
I went back to University after 30 and I hate my teens and twenties. I'm 33 now and the last 3 years were the best of my life, it's never ~too late~, don't let assholes tell you shit like this. You can do it anon, I'm rooting for you! Wish you all the best!

No. 574006

>>573979
Kinda same but pleasssse pls pls anon don't feel bad, you're FUCKING DOING THE THING. AREN'T YOU TRYING THOUGH? YOU ARE, THAT'S QUEEN SHIT. I get that jealosy, i truly do but not everyone has the same path in life and stuff like that, I hope you have a good life because you deserve it, ily.

No. 574008

>>573846
That's a great idea Anon, thanks! Plus it will be good to know regardless of if any of us is sterile or not.

No. 574013

File: 1592922049157.jpeg (85.74 KB, 701x722, 1573832457690.jpeg)

Sorry this is long.

Growing up, I was a really ugly kid. I had a best friend who was really cute and old people would fawn over her wherever we went, and I was just the odd looking goblin child everyone kind of pretended not to see. Old ladies would tell me I look grumpy and never smile and my dad would always say "happy girls are the prettiest girls" and that's why nobody calls me cute, but how can I smile when everyone treats me like shit in comparison to my friend?

I was never jealous of her, but it hurt me that people would always be so much nicer to her. Her parents were still together, she always had all the Disney VHS tapes and Barbies/Bratz dolls she wanted while my only Barbie I got for my 6th birthday (first birthday I celebrated without my parents) got stolen by an older girl at the playground, her mom always bought her lunch and my grandma told me to shut up when I asked for lunch money.
Whenever we played castle she was always the princess and I was the prince because she was the girly one and I was the resident doormat who just wanted to make her happy.

When I was a preteen I started dressing in baggy clothes because I was ashamed of my body and kids already picked on me for being quiet and weird/liking anime so I just wanted to disappear. Girls would walk up to me and ask "umm excuse me… my friend wants to know, are you a boy or a girl?" and burst into laughter because my grandma cut my hair short so she doesn't have to style it. I don't remember being called pretty even once by anybody.

Things are different now, I think I look cute. I have a boyfriend who says I'm gorgeous, I recently posted a photo anonymously to be rated and everyone said I was very beautiful but "I need to smile more". I'm more confident and care less about other people's opinions.

But I never get catcalled or hit on, people don't want to talk to me, female friends never compliment me when I post a selfie on social media even though I do that for them. Why does this happen? Am I really so horrible-looking still? I don't get it and it's driving me nuts.

No. 574014

>>573961
Older anon here, I have been in a similar situation. No one says you can't do what you want, especially since you're not a child anymore, it's really up to you to do whatever makes you happy.

No. 574021

>>574013

i was the ugly kid too, with a similar family. it can be really really hard to let go of the leftover resentments from childhood, but it's what we have to do so we can be happy. eventually everyone will be old and ugly. you're probably beautiful but i encourage you to stop looking for validation and move on. again, i know it's hard, but in my experience the void is never filled.

No. 574023

>>573777

me too. i usually fall asleep while listening to a podcast very quietly, or with something neutral and soothing on the TV (like jeopardy). i know you're not supposed to use devices while falling asleep but it works for me.

No. 574025

>>574013
You might have a resting bitch face, which would explain why people are still saying that "you need to smile more" shit anonymously and yet you're not unattractive. It means you're intimidating, maybe you look like a mean girl trope. A permanent smile might help, but it's unfair how you have to work twice as hard at it and constantly keep aware.

There's a difference between ugly versus looking unapproachable, and you likely fit the bill for the latter. Unless you actively smile and force friendliness, I'm afraid that's the lot that our standoffish looks have slated us for. I'm sorry anon, but maybe it helps to know that you're not alone. Bubbly, perky, beautiful people always get the lion's share.

No. 574041

Just sent a message with an apology to one of my best friends when I ignored her messages for days a while back aaah I hate myself.

No. 574057

>But I never get catcalled or hit on, people don't want to talk to me,

That's one side. That means you look intimidating. I rarely get cat called because when I'm out alone I walk with purpose and don't put up with any shit.

>female friends never compliment me when I post a selfie on social media even though I do that for them

Most of my girlfriends don't run around saying I'm beautiful unprovoked but they at least give me an emoji heart eyes on the off-chance I post a selfie

It sounds like you carry yourself very stand-offish, which makes strangers avoid you (too much work to talk to) or your friends uncertain if you even want that kind of attention, especially if you're bad at accepting compliments. I make sure if I'm fishing for compliments I'm smiling or look playful instead of psuedo-insta model or I poke fun at myself for being serious.

I think this is classic you are attractive but everyone feels nervous telling you. I was an ugly ducking so I carried a lot of leftover "no one says I'm beautiful so anyone who does must be just saying it" attitude, and the year I started believing I wasn't a total butterface and acted like a compliment wasn't a farse, I got complimented a lot more.

No. 574074

>>574057
"I don't get catcalled because I'm scary" is a cope and you damn well know it. Honestly, this whole post is a cope and cringey. If you're attractive people tell you.

No. 574080

>>573758
…girl, what? were you having a naked mental breakdown in the middle of your house because he went to go do something, and there wasn't even a fight? he just went to go like, get some food or go to the store? i'd be freaked the fuck out too and ignore you. is there more to the story?

No. 574081

File: 1592931717988.jpg (71.23 KB, 400x386, comfy.jpg)

This might be rambly and a bit long, but I just need to write about it and kind of make some sense of it.
Finally, I feel like I started to open up and develop feelings for someone. I'm full 'tism so it's been hard to actually find someone that I feel connected to and that I feel safe to be vulnerable with to the point where I start feeling something for them.
I actually searched on Google how it feels to be in love but it didn't help me much, and after talking about it with my mum I came to the conclusion that if I'm not actually in love then I must be getting close to it.
While it was really nice to know that I am capable of loving someone, and to give a name to the comfy feeling that I've been having, it also brought up some insecurities. We try our best to understand each other, but sometimes I have a hard time understanding him, even though he tries his best to be as clear as possible and never really minds elaborating on what my autism misses. I don't think I could know if he feels something for me unless he told me, and our friends in common said he treats me different than he does anyone else (he usually has an edgelord humour, even though he means well, and he is normally very short and direct, but not with me) but that might just be because I'm socially retarded, not because he sees me differently in the way I see him.
I dunno, I don't wanna think about failure before I even begin but my mind just keeps jumping to mean thoughts regardless of how positive I try to be.
I don't even know how to bring it up to him because I'm afraid he will think I'm just a stupid aspie doing cringy things.

No. 574085

>>574074
Ugly girls get raped too. Being cat-called isn't an award only for the hottest, even ugly chicks get called and stalked around stores. And on the flip side, I know a ton of uggos who get called beautiful all the fucking time, because they look for the attention.

If you look and act like you want attention, you will get it. If you don't you wont. Has very little to do if you're a 2/10 or a 10/10, it's just the 10/10 are usually way more comfortable with attention and are accustomed to getting it.

Nice pride, tho

No. 574088

>>574080
Well the day started that he wouldn't really talk to me. And he knows that makes me run up the wall. I asked whats wrong but he just ignored me. When I went to the bedroom for like 20 min to do stuff he went without telling me. Wouldnt answer my messages. At 1AM he came back just to ignore me once more. I asked what is wrong but he ignored me. And then I spiraled down to the naked kitchen breakdown kek

No. 574092

File: 1592933715009.jpeg (52.01 KB, 542x566, images (10).jpeg)

im so tired of the tranny shit surrounding this character, idc if he calls himself oneesan, uses atashi and is feminine as fuck, why cant a femme as fuck boy exist? fucking western tranny shit ruins everything its so fucking exhausting when will this fad end. i just want a cute feminine 2d boy to love and openly talk about it on twitter like the pathetic weeb i am without being cancelled because i dont play the stupid pronoun game, fuck western fandom and fuck the trannysphere and kweer enby fags (usually actually straight femme girls)

No. 574109

>>574092
just move to asia, anon. my bf and his close friend were asking me what brand of bb cushion pact to buy yesterday.

No. 574118

>>574109
Nta but where do you live?

No. 574132

Fuck Fiverr, shit I can't get rid of the most annoying client. Don't do my mistake anons. I honestly don't understand people that expect a $100+ service for a $5 budget.

No. 574156

Apparently my dad is pissed at my mom because her absentee ballot didn't come in, but it did for me and my dad. I registered her to vote online by the deadline, so I don't know what's up. Between all of us, there's ALWAYS been issues with my mom voting. First year they got their citizenship, they both registered to vote and did absentee ballots (out of country for family visit). Second year, my mom was apparently not registered to vote anymore? We got to the polls and they told her she wasn't registered. Third year, when I go to check online about her voter status, she was registered for the opposing party (no idea how this happened). This year, she had to go to the DMV for a new ID and registered to vote on the same form… aaaaaaaand somehow she was the only one who didn't get an absentee ballot request mail even though my dad and I got it (hence why I registered her online)? My dad is in such a fucking huff because EVERY VOTE COUNTS like no duh, but it's not mom's fault that for whatever reason the system is always fucking up her voter registration!!!

No. 574160

>>574092
I get so confused when these people constantly spout that things shouldn't be gender limited and boys/girls can like things outside of their gendered "norm", but when femme boys or tomboys exist, it's suddenly like they can't be cis lol. I thought the entire point was to just like people like the things they like. Why are they so adamant that the second a boy likes girly shit or a girl is andro/a tomboy, they MUST be enby or a tranny? wtf

No. 574161

>>574092
holy shit this so much, the one time we get a feminine boy that likes girl stuff the western side of the fandom has to trannify him. I fucking hate it, and they claim to be "progressive" with this bullshit

No. 574164

>>574156
Why and how in the fuck can voting be this hard in some countries? Sounds stressful and sus

No. 574166

>>574160
thank you anon, i run in heavily queer circles and don't dare express this, but i think you're 100% correct. forcing everyone who steps out of any gender norms to explore or even claim transness is harmful.

No. 574174

I don't feel comfortable talking about sex here anymore, I feel like the threads are filled with scrotes

No. 574175

>>574160
It's really hypocritical too since they're always saying trans men can enjoy feminine things and trans women can enjoy traditionally masculine things but as soon as a cis person does it "they must be trans! uwu" further forcing people in to these small boxes not allowing them to be comfortable with themselves no matter how they identify.

No. 574177

I went out to check the mail yesterday and my busybody old lady neighbor yelled at me for not wearing a mask. There's no one on our street and my mailbox is literally right outside the door, so obviously I'm not gonna waste a mask. I wish she'd get a hobby and stop sitting outside being the neighborhood goddamn watch.

No. 574179

>>574092
wish i knew your twitter, anon. would love to be able to talk to someone else about the game without having to refer to arashi as a stunning beautiful trans queen uwu! i wish the moderator of the wiki never caved and put his pronouns as she/her but whatever.

No. 574180

>>574177
She's just butthurt because she doesn't have enough to do and is taking it out on you.

No. 574181

God I just want to wear lolita so bad but now that I finally have the money I'm too old and fat and stupid ree

No. 574182

>>574174
What makes you feel that's the case? I'm curious, I didn't notice anything.

No. 574185

>>574181
just wear it anon, it looks stupid on everyone.

No. 574190

It's so fucking annoying to work with people who insist on having multiple meetings a week, which could be condensed into a fucking email, about a project. It's a waste of everyone's time and totally pointless. Why are people so obsessed with micro managing everything, I hate the incessant check ins. Just let me do the work and give it to you by the deadline, ffs

No. 574191

>>574181
Bruh just wear whatever you want. Life is too short to worry about these things when it comes to something as innocent and fun as personal style. I've seen 60+ year old women cosplay, wear Harry Potter scarves, dye their hair ridiculous colors, etc.

Literally the only legitimate reason I can think of not to just wear whatever the hell you want is indecent exposure, or not being able to land/getting fired from a job where looking "polished and professional" is a must.

If it makes you feel better, I'm almost 30 and currently have 3 distinctive colors in my hair, none of which look natural. It was totally worth it. I have literally never felt more "me."

No. 574194

>>574181
I'm 30 and I dress like a 17 year old e girl. People might say it looks like shit behind my back but well I was never considered attractive anyway.

No. 574195

>>574181

Buy it, wear it, and be happy, anon. anyone who doesn't like it can close their eyes or look somewhere else. Fuck 'em.

No. 574196

File: 1592948766985.png (448.18 KB, 472x596, a56cb6bb648b6ea599df6fd9e132f5…)

>>574181
Fuck it, enjoy yourself and buy that overpriced frilly shit if it makes you happy.

>>574191
Facts. I get sad seeing other women try to stunt their personalities because they think they're "too old" to be doing what they really want. We're all gonna get old, why should we stop having fun once we hit a certain age? It's not like dressing tacky (at least, what's tacky to some people) is gonna hurt anybody. If you don't like it, look the fuck away lmfao

No. 574198

>>574196
that pic is fucking adorable
Agree, the whole "you're old thusly ugly so you can't wear anything cute" was probably made up by ugly men
Wear what you want when you want

No. 574202

>>574196
>I get sad seeing other women try to stunt their personalities because they think they're "too old" to be doing what they really want. We're all gonna get old, why should we stop having fun once we hit a certain age?
The worst part is that they start thinking they're 'too old' at fucking 30. Like the moment you hit 30 you need to dress like a frumpy mom or a high powered career woman.

No. 574203

>>574181
Just do it anon, you'll end up regretting it later on if you didn't get to at least try it out. I'm a plus-sized lolita myself and there's a lot of options for us now compared to how it used to be. Get your frill on.

No. 574205

File: 1592950020591.gif (876.05 KB, 360x270, E4DC0BA9-DEB1-4E42-9A1C-966FEC…)

>>574196
this is cute and good

No. 574206

Man, I just spent 23 minutes writing a post to delete it. Don't want nothing to come of it I guess.

I wish my parents weren't so dysfunctional, because I think it really hindered my development. They had no friends, denied me seeing friends outside of school and made me feel bad for being introverted. One is super anxious and the other has anger control issues, and both have shown up in me at different times. Mom has put up with behavior from dad that is objectively unacceptable, and now in the back of my mind it has me wondering how much I'll put up with. I've already put up with too much, in the way I'm taken aback with how much of a doormat I was once I'm out of the relationship.

But like, forget the romantic shit, I can do without that. It's the basic basic skills. How to make and keep friends, how to actually get on with people, how to fit in. I also judge myself for being working class and I think my parents instilled that. I feel like a dumb troll when talking to academics. I've pursued my interests (philosophy groups, film and feminist clubs) and I end up keeping my mouth shut because I speak in such a rudimentary way and I don't know what they're talking about half the time. The fuck is calvinism? I also think I swear too much.

I like to think I'm emotionally intelligent, but I can't describe why I mostly feel hurt when I see adults having an actual social life, and when I see a group of women, probably none having come from any less than a middle class background, having intelligent discourse that I'd love to be a part of.

But nah, I'm just this bitter, anxious, needy, angry, covetous, greasy, frumpy fucking gremlin who feels like she'll never have healthy adult friendships or romantic relationships where she…fucking…invites people over to her place with confidence to have a glass of wine and a good laugh or a deep chat.
I'd get therapy, but I need to land a non-minimum wage job first.

No. 574207

>>574202
most people who think they're "too old" to dress a certain way don't see how their co-workers dress outside of work.

No. 574210

I sometimes get feelings and memories from highschool/middleschool just flooding me at random times and now is one of those times. I spent a lot of last night looking up some guy I had a crush on in high school instead of getting some much needed sleep and remembering how he didn't give a fuck about me. This is so profoundly stupid and juvenile that I can't believe I sometimes still think of him. I wonder if it's because I just had a baby and I'm all a flux, mentally speaking.

No. 574213

>>574179
>>574092
Feels surreal seeing enstars fans say this out loud, god am I glad I'm not alone. I've fried my brain irreparably seeing all the "RESPECT ARASHI'S PRONOUNS SHE'S GORGEOUS" spergs go at it, especially after they dogpiled on that Japanese fan trying to explain the context behind Arashi's character. He's an effeminate guy and they barely get representation, just let him be. Gives me faith that there are a lot more people tired with the tranny fad than they give out publicly.

No. 574215

>>574213
People sperging out about fictional characters are retarded in general no matter what side of the argument you're on. Which includes you all.

No. 574216

>>574196
her body is better than mine, I am gonna kms

No. 574217

>>574164
Voter disenfranchisement runs deep in this shithole of a country. My mom's case is probably just a really, really annoying case of shit getting mixed up or lost constantly. It's nothing in grand scheme of voter ID laws, gerrymandering, and other shit like straight up closing down polling locations because why the fuck not. I fucking hate it. Just let me fucking vote!

No. 574220

>>574196
Damn her legs look good for her age.

I think a lot about how I'm going to dress as an older woman. I actually originally typed adult instead of older woman kek, I'm 30 already. I guess if that's any indication then I'll grow old disgracefully
If we all agree to wear whatever we want whenever we want it'll become the norm. Let's just all agree to do it.

No. 574221

Last Saturday I got woken up at 11am by loud shitty trap and reggaeton. I wanted to sleep in late so I was so mad I turned on my shitty Bluetooth speaker, placed it on my window and played death metal for like an hour. Even so I could hear the reggaeton.
Well today on my way to work I got stopped by the concierge telling me the neighbours living in front of my apt complained about the metal. Bitch, the other crap was still louder. I don't care you didn't play it, if it was only about the noise the other ones made even more noise.
I'm so fucking tired of other people making everyone listen their shitty music then shitting on me when I do the same. I'm happy listening to my crappy music for myself but damn if I take more of this. Thinking about buying a decent speaker and blasting their ears off now.

No. 574222

>>574217
I tried to change my voter registration to a new county I moved to within my state online this week and they switched the "yes" and "no" buttons ONLY for the questions asking if you're currently serving a sentence for a felony. so I accidentally clicked that i'm a felon and they flagged my file so I can't change it online now let alone vote and have to physically go to the board and sort it out. It's honestly such a combination of intentional disenfranchisement by republicans, poor user design, outdated technology, and miles of red tape which culminates in people who do not have the time or ability to straighten things like these out not being able to vote. They just added the ability to change your address online in my state and you still can't register as a first time voter online. Don't even get me started on everything else kek

No. 574225

>>574220
I'm really looking forward to many more decades of enjoying fashion and having fun with my style, if I ever stop caring about how I dress then something will have gone seriously wrong in my life. I don't think I'm gonna be one of those really out there crazy looking grannies but who knows how my taste will change over the years.

No. 574235

File: 1592955013151.jpg (60.21 KB, 520x390, asian family reunions.jpg)

>>574206
I feel the same way anon, but here's a comforting fact: a lot of people that you know are literally thinking the same thing. Everyone's winging it. It's really hard to muster up the courage to invite someone over, even harder as an adult bc of schedules. I have this one friend who invited everyone she knew to dance night last halloween and it was great and I thought, "wow, she's so confident and everything I want to be," but we've only hung out once since cause we were both too spergy to invite the other. Turns out she's shy as fuck and was so relieved when I reached out. People are happier than you think when you initiate contact. As for fitting in, you don't have to flex your knowledge, what about having an obscure movie night? Going to a protest?

What I'm saying is: Just do it, boo. Invite people to shit you're interested in and try to have fun with your fellow humans.

No. 574236

>>574207
My boss is like 32 and dresses like a kid constantly on acid lol. Very shocked when I saw him outside of work

No. 574241

>>573966
first trannies tried to take down women, now not even the gays are safe.

No. 574245

>>573993
may i ask you how you got a job after finishing school so late and likely not having lots of experience? my lack of experience and my not going to uni is fucking me up badly, i need money and apparently just to get hired as a ~sales associate~ at the mall you need 5 years of ~solid experience uwu~ it's making me get really angry lol.

No. 574247

my sister needs to shut the fuck up about how much harder majoring in biology is compared to being a chiropractor because theyre "fake doctors." bitch is acting as if shes so much better. hasnt even taken classes other than biology classes yet she somehow knows biology is the hardest major of them all. like shut the fuck up.

No. 574253

>>574207
holy shit this one time I ran into my coworker at the store and she was wearing a crop top and fuckign elf ears??? She's older than me and very professional/composed, that shit had me feeling inspired.

No. 574263

File: 1592958348073.jpg (61.48 KB, 200x263, 5k98gdn4.jpg)

>>574206
I don't have any advice but you're not alone. I could have written this exact post, almost word for word.

No. 574274

File: 1592959783254.jpg (299.36 KB, 2048x1638, gre scores.jpg)

>>574247
Biology majors are the embodiment of average.

No. 574284

>>574247
STEMtards in general are obnoxious. It’s so easy to be put off by people in those fields as it’s filled to the brim with pompous “intellectuals” convinced that they’re smarter based on some dumb metric.

No. 574291

File: 1592964066964.jpeg (63.05 KB, 749x559, 571352F1-A6DA-4F91-ACC2-0DA9EF…)

There’s this book I read during a really traumatic period in my life and since my mind has kind of erased everything that happened during that time I forgot the entire book. I want to read it again but just looking at it in my book shelf makes me stomach turn and brings up a lot of anxiety and negative feelings. This book means a lot to me cause it’s one my grandmother showed me when I was little and we watched the movie adaptation of it together a lot, and it makes me so frustrated that I can’t even look at the cover without wanting to throw up from anxiety. I guess I can always watch the movie (which still makes me cry but for different reasons) but the book is very very different from it. This is so stupid but I just want to be able to read a fucking book without feeling like i’m gonna choke.

No. 574292

>>574291
Perhaps don't read it alone, can you read it out loud with a friend or something, especially in a notable environment like a park? Anything to keep you 'in the moment' and forge new memories with that book instead of drifting back to old ones

No. 574306

>>574274
reminds me of the Bio major I know who says she is bringing instant ramen noodles with her when she goes to live in Japan, because she hates the flavors they have over there. Also plans on packing her shit ton of scuba gear instead of mailing it to herself or just renting. Just retardation all over. lmao

No. 574309

I still can't figure out if my ex abused me or not. I felt absolutely horrible in the relationship and like I never had any control. He never hit me or sexually abused me and almost never directly said anything mean to me. He was extremely nice to me in the beginning and told me everything I wanted to hear, convinced me to move in with him, and then basically changed his entire demeanor and started ignoring me, being super cold and insensitive, etc. He acted like I wasn't even his girlfriend at all. He never wanted to go on dates, have sex or even spend much time together when we were at home together. This behavior confused me so much because at the same time, he'd tell me things like, if I ever moved out and tried to live on my own, he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I'd get so frustrated and angry because I didn't feel like he liked me at all, but if I tried to talk to him about it, he'd just tell me there wasn't anything wrong and that I was blowing things out of proportion. Every single time, I'd end up apologizing and feeling like I was the one in the wrong.

He and his friends were also super misogynistic. They were all into 4chan and red pill ideology and hearing them talk about that shit was super gross. If I ever asked my ex to outright tell me if he truly supported this stuff or they were just joking, he wouldn't give me a straight answer.

He also doesn't treat other people poorly, which made it even harder to figure out whether he was actually abusing me, or if I was just overreacting due to past abuse by my family members.

No. 574318

>>574309
Were you splitting bills?

No. 574330

>>574309
A lot of what you described sounds like emotional abuse tbh. I mean him suddenly switching like that once you moved in is a super common abuse tactic.

I'm glad he's your ex anon because at the very least he was an absolute shithead.

No. 574332

>>574274
creative wriging

No. 574333

>>574332
It's called a typo. Here's the data if you'd prefer that.
https://www.ets.org/s/gre/pdf/gre_table4_extended.pdf

No. 574338

>>574274
Wouldn't the data be skewed slightly since most med school students major in biology, i.e. won't take the GRE?

No. 574342

>>574333
what do the numbers mean. the higher the better?

t. a low verbal, low math idiot

No. 574352

>>574338
Possibly, but a lot of MCAT takers will also take the GRE since medical schools have such low acceptance rates. Last year there were nearly 22k people admitted into medical school. Of that number, around 12k were biology majors. Meanwhile, around 75k GRE test takers majored in a biological science.

>>574342
The GRE is a standardized test for prospective graduate students and a higher score is better. The verbal and quantitative parts of the exam are graded on a scale of 130-170 with a mean typically around 150. There's also a writing portion graded on scale of 1-6 with a mean of around 3.5. Most graduate programs look at a student holistically and a bad GRE score won't be an immediate disqualifier.

No. 574362

Online dating really makes me miss my ex from years ago. The relationship wasn't perfect but he was very smart and charming, and he opened up my eyes to a lot of new things. Meanwhile the guys in my city are all basic bitches and/or ugly. I feel like I never will find someone compares.

No. 574363

File: 1592974133265.jpg (27.62 KB, 480x360, ugh.jpg)

>first time seeing a psychologist
>gets me to spell something out
>says i'm not pronouncing a letter correctly
>english is my first language
>she gets me to say the letter over and over again
>feel incredibly embarrassed and more insecure than before

idk if she has hearing problems or i am genuinely not saying it right because i've never had anyone comment on it before or have a hard time understanding me at all

No. 574364

>>574363
What was the word she asked you to spell out?

No. 574365

File: 1592974368724.png (249.5 KB, 500x489, EBEB833B-F8D2-4AAF-B9F1-EF96CA…)

I know people will tell me I shouldn’t, but I feel really bad for June/Shuwu. Her breakup with Preg was weirdly similar to mine.
>he broke up with me right before my bday
>long distance, me in US and him in Canada
>border lockdown and virus contributed to his decision, which i thought was stupid
>always felt like I was the one who loved him more and put more effort into the relationship
I don’t even watch her videos but I want to give her a hug because her breakup seems so similar to mine.. I’m still hurt because my breakup was still less than a month ago.

No. 574367

>>574364
my name

No. 574371

>>574363
What letter were you pronouncing incorrectly?

No. 574380

>>574365
I feel bad for her too. I hope that she learns from this and doesn't end up dating that other fat fuck that she's apparently been connected with.

No. 574381

>>574371
"o"

i said it like "oh" but she heard me adding an "r" to the end of it which is the part i'm confused by

No. 574388

hooooly shit guys. My sister opened up to me about her sexual assault and in return I felt comfortable enough to talk about the abuse my abusive ex put me through, and how he raped me. she went on to MESSAGE him confronting him (this all happened in highschool, I'm 22 now), and he responds. Am I wrong for being genuinely upset she talked to my abuser and confronted him about MY rape?? also, she showed me the messages and he said stuff about being able to prove with court documents that he didnt do anything. I never filed a report against him. I never even mentioned how he raped me to his face. Well, I went searching and apparently he sexually assaulted a minor last year and got charged for it. I feel like shit.

No. 574389

File: 1592981779451.jpg (32.95 KB, 680x638, EWaVBemXYAg4ksr.jpg)

I just want a female best friend to spend time with and watch stuff cozy in bed together and go shopping at 8pm with and talk about shit with. It's been 10 years since I had a female best friend.

No. 574391

>>574390
1. Yes, I don't remember shit and I'm a college instructor so I have to relearn everything before I teach it
2. Shit.. is the market really that bad for biomed? My friend is doing it

No. 574392

>>574391
idk why it went fucking green and didn't attach I'm too lazy to fix it

No. 574393

>>574392
Sorry I deleted my post because I felt retarded lol and yeah the market is bad, maybe with this coronavirus shit the field becomes more appreciated and therefore bigger. It sucks.

No. 574394

I keep meaning to go to bed and wake up at a reasonable hour, but instead wake up at 2pm. It's 3am now and it'll take me an hour to fall asleep and I'm probably going to further piss off my parents by waking up late why am I unable to do this simple task?

No. 574395

>>574389
I get it anon its not easy to make new friends as an adult, especially an adult friends without come across as a creepy stalker

No. 574400

>>574080
Why you gotta be attractive?

No. 574402

>>574194
How is your relationship with your dad?

No. 574404

>>574318
Thank you anon :)

No. 574410

>>574181
Just wear it, anon. Don't waste your time suppressing what you like, you'll feel so much better dressing for your taste/passion.
You just reminded me of some girl I once talked to who was like "Lolita will look so bad when you're old". I took it as a joke and mentioned just wearing gothic lolita (all my outfits are gothic anyway, but I guess she didn't know), but I wish I had told her I couldn't wait to see how her cheap Fashion Nova clothes and reject outfits from the nymphet side of Tumblr would look.
Honestly, if you're old old, it doesn't even matter what you wear. You will be outside of the conventions of beauty regardless. Just have fun.

No. 574413

>>574404
Did you have a realization?

No. 574419

>>574393
Yo what did you say? I feel like I'm in danger of relating to you, going by the reply.

No. 574426

I really don't want to be a woman

No. 574427

>>574426
Why don't you want to be a woman, anon? Women are amazing and lovely and beautiful.

No. 574433

I just want some female friends. I have like four but they all live in different countries. I wish I could make some local friends but firstly, it’s hard as fuck to make friends as an awkward adult and secondly, it has to be a good match as well. I feel like my life would be so much better if I could just hang out with some girls once a week instead of just my boyfriend.

No. 574437

>>574433
What ountry do you live in anon?

No. 574442

>>574001
hahahahahaha my parents fucking loved that show! i watched an episode where they had to save some kid from a cave or something but digging would kill the kid so they had to think of some REALLY niche method and someone almost ALWAYS dies it's such a reach hahaha.

No. 574445

I don’t know if I have some kind of personality disorder or something but I honestly don’t think I can ever be in a relationship because people do not understand my need for alone time and either take it personally or think I’m exaggerating. The idea of living with someone seems impossible to me, like in an ideal world I would like to have separate but neighbouring houses or more realistically at least separate bedrooms but I feel like that’s just going to be so off putting and weird to anyone. It’s not even that I struggle with intimacy but it’s just that I need space and time alone or it makes me feel genuinely suicidal and completely drained/unable to function. I feel this way no matter how much I love and care about the person, it’s not anything they’re doing it’s just me.

No. 574446

>>574426
Same, I think about this all the time recently, but I don’t really want to be a man either. I guess I could take on some kind of micro identity but I won’t because realistically I don’t personally think that would actually make me any happier or cause any tangible positive change in my life or mental wellbeing.

No. 574448

>>574437
Germany

>>574445
Oh, god, anon, same.
I figured this out in my last relationship but still ended up moving in with my new boyfriend and I’m going mad. He’s the kind of person who could just hang out all day and every time I’m like “you know, I know this couple who sleeps in separate beds sometimes” he’s like “OMG ANON I COULD NEVER DO THAT”. So, make sure you communicate your need for alone time with potential partners. I mean, I did in the beginning but I’m kind of a doormat so I couldn’t stand my ground.

No. 574450

>>574181
Just wear it you turkey!
Lolita has no age limit.

No. 574451

>>574426
>>574446
Can y’all explain why you feel that way?

No. 574452

>>574448
Ah it’s nice to know someone feels the same way. I really sympathise with you because I feel like it so hard to communicate in a way that people don’t feel offended by, and I think it’s just hard for certain kinds of people to even understand so they don’t take it as seriously as you’re meaning it. I hope you and your boyfriend can figure something out that works for you both ♥

No. 574453

>>574445
Honestly, same. I do love my boyfriend and we get along so well, but I just don't like the idea of us living together and sharing every room. We went on a vacation last year and being constantly together was too much for me. I just feel that being together 24/7 makes you more prone to argue about stupid shit that doesn't matter.
Anyways, sleeping in separate bedrooms sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Just make sure at least one room has a bigger bed so you both can fit on it.

No. 574454

I want to be able to enjoy social media so badly. I hate telling people that I don’t have it, I think it comes off very weird in this day and age and that sometimes people think I’m lying about it. I haven’t used social media since I was 13ish and every 2-4 years or something I force myself to try to start again but it just makes me feel so weird and performative. It makes me feel kind of like I’m never fully alone because people have such easy/instant access to you and I feel over exposed, especially when people interact with me it just makes me feel so anxious. I have zero moral or like ‘social media is ruining society’ type thing against it, there are some aspects of it I want to engage in and feel like I’m missing out on, but the negatives always just end up heavily outweighing the benefits. I think a lot of how I feel is probably extremely irrational and some kind of anxiety thing on my end but idk how to move on from it, it just feels extremely unnatural to me.

No. 574455

>>574446
A micro identity isn't gonna change anythign. It's just a word.

No. 574457

>>574445
I feel this. I was pretty miserable in my last relationship because apartments in my city are pretty cramped. I was secretly desperate to get my own place but couldn't afford it. Now that I'm single again and have my own home secured I can't see myself living with a partner again.

I hate sharing a bed in particular. My last bf would wake me in the morning by loudly playing games on his phone while still in bed, yet would snap at me If I woke him up by rolling over. That and dealing with someones farts, nope.

No. 574460

>>574394
lol i stayed up until 8am im wild

No. 574461

File: 1593000830214.jpeg (42.13 KB, 1000x750, gL5t6Ro.jpeg)

I just wanted to spend some time with my dad, but apparently I never can.

No. 574465

My girlfriend is really messy and unorganized and she never puts her fucking shit away (only children, amiright) and today she fucking stormed around complaining about not being able to find anything and that my stuff is all organized why isn't hers??… like because you don't do it you dumbass! I put my things away because I am an adult, and I'm your girlfriend not your mommy so I'm not going to put your shit away for you too!! I'm so sick of tidying after this womanchild.

No. 574469

I made a pancake recipe which serves 4 and proceeded to eat all of them. It’s one of those days

No. 574474

>>574445
Anon, are you me? I have a huge need of solitude as well, I like to do everything by myself. I don't date, so I don't have a problem with this, but if I ever end up in a relationship, it would be with a schizoid person who wants to be on their own as well, there's no way I'll ever move in with somebody, even separate bedrooms would be a nightmare.

No. 574475

>>574474
Do you have schizoid personality disorder? I'm the OP and I'm kind of worried I have it but I don't have a lot, if any, of the other symptoms besides doing everything alone and having a huge need for solitude. I was thinking of speaking to someone about it after the lockdown but I'm not sure if there's any point because it's not like they can really do anything if you do have it. It seems like it would be hard to meet someone like you're describing because that kind of person probably doesn't socialise/ go out much

No. 574480

>>574469
That's alright anon. Everyone has those days

No. 574488

File: 1593005395129.jpeg (109.11 KB, 824x613, F500DF9A-5BF1-46C1-8620-570965…)

I never realised how safe and comfy websites with mainly women were until I went on lolcow and now it’s so frustrating knowing what a place without misogynistic men would kinda be like. I wish I could just start a commune with the anons here or something.

No. 574496

I met a really cool guy and we get on super well and we really like each other. The problem is, i'm schizophrenic and i'm unfortunately a borderline-chan, and i'm scared to tell him in case he does what every other potential relationship does and loses interest in me for being a nutcase. I want to be honest with him about it though and i'd rather he leaves now than later on after we get closer. But also rejection terrifies me. I fucking hate being mentally ill.

No. 574500

>>574488
Why is this place safe? Theres SO MUCH infiting.

No. 574505

>>574488
People who have this perception are so strange to me, I feel like they're looking at lolcow through rose coloured glasses solely because there's no men and not for what it actually is. It's literally a website solely designed to pick apart and essentially ruin peoples lives. I can't think of anything that would be less enjoyable than being in a 'commune' with the people who post here.

No. 574506

>>574500
NTA but I'm the anon ITT who was dating a married man 30 years my senior.

This is the only place that told me what I needed to do. Even though some posters were needlessly mean, imo, there were several kind anons who told me why I was being stupid and gave me advice on what to do. And I did it. During that evening, I felt oddly safe.

I don't typically feel like that on lc, but I will admit that there are some good women here.

No. 574507

>>574500
NTA but I feel like the Vent, Confession and similar threads on /ot/ have been particularly friendly lately. I also want a friendly lolcow commune.

No. 574508

>>574500
nta but I'd honestly take infighting and disguised scrotes over male dominated imageboards like 4chan.

I go in ic sometimes but holy fuck is it rife with lolitards and /pol/ takes.

No. 574509

File: 1593007674420.jpg (38.42 KB, 564x701, 1.jpg)

Nothing is more cringe than men-worshipping, woman hating women. I get secondhand embarassment seeing it, especially from clearly not mormon alt girls.

men will never actually care about you; why die on the hill of sperging over "females" for scrotes with no empathy?

Everyone's been fucked over by girls before but holy shit, even some of the shittiest ones are nicer than the random greasy internet scrotes these girls so desperately try to pick me for

The saddest part is i don't hate them for it or anything, its just depressing to see someone just give up and so adamantly hate their own gender for the sake of discord bottomfeeders

No. 574511

File: 1593007777395.gif (17.1 KB, 354x369, 1392848037425.gif)

>>574506
I'm glad it's helped you, anon. I feel the same way as >>574507 , it's really nice to see other women lift each other up. These threads have a way of humanizing and opening up my empathy to total strangers.

No. 574512

Honestly, I think everyone is a piece of shit. Men just want to fuck you and sleep with you and women act like your friends but stab you in the back and talk trash.

Everyones toxic af.

No. 574513

I cant wait until younger people shitting on people 26+ get older so they can eat their own words. You wont be young forever hun!
I cant wait until they get older and have to throw away all their cute egirl/eboy clothes because they're grown ups now and can only wear suits or sweat pants!

I also cant wait until 18-20 year olds dating men 28+ and pandering to them by acting like uwu little girls, wake up one day and realize they wasted their life on older men and their "daddy" leaves them for a younger woman. Bonus points if they actually marry him and waste a decade of their life just to be left for a 19 year old. Did you think he would be different to you?

Because they really love the praise they get now without realizing they will be old too one day. We spend more of our lives being old adults than we do being young adults.

No. 574516

File: 1593008726076.png (938.76 KB, 815x826, 43b.png)

I'm >>574181 and I'm gonna cry at all the responses to this…you guys are so right…I'm hopping on lacemarket as we speak, I won't waste another minute to dress how I want!

This >>574196 is soooo cute

No. 574517

>>574465
>only children, amiright
most only children I've met have been either aggressively outgoing neat freaks or very weird horse girl neat freaks and never anything in between, so it's just her

No. 574518

>>574512
>The "c-can't we just agree that PEOPLE suck in general fellow ladies!!!" card
Ah yes, because violence, abuse and dehumanization by someone higher up in the societal hierarchy is totally the same as Stacey talking shit about you behind your back in high school.

No. 574524

>>574518
NTA but women can be abusive, dehumanising and higher up in the social hierarchy to other women (or even men really), there are other axes of oppression than just gender or sex. It's not really a take worthy of 'hi scrote'. Many women marginalised in some other way have had this kind of experience, in fact women can be more dangerous in these scenarios because of the presumption of innocence certain women have, they aren't fully held accountable. You are extremely privileged if you think it's impossible for a woman to have the opinion that women can be just as dehumanising and violent as men.

No. 574530

>>574524
Dehumanizing yes, violent no

No. 574533

>>574475
I don't know, I never got diagnosed but I remember that I cried the first time I read about it because I fit 90% of the symptoms, it was like finally understanding some of the behaviors and feeling I've had for all my life. I don't think I'll seek out a diagnosis though, like you said you can't do anything about it, and it's not like it's a debilitating mental disorder, I'd rather be an asocial than bipolar, narc or sociopath.
Honestly, I don't care about dating, I'm fine with being single for my entire life. Only thing that bothers me is rent, I'm still living with my parents for now, so it's fine for now, but finding a decent apartment with only one salary is going to be hard.

No. 574534

>>574524
>women can be more dangerous
>in fact women can be more dangerous
> women can be just as dehumanising and violent as men
Ntayrt But weirdly these are the exact comments that I see men making all the time, I watch a lot of true crime vids and men always comment these same quotes under vids about men raping, torturing and killing women. Every serial killer vid on youtube is becoming flooded with these defensive phrases. Weird seeing it on here lol

No. 574535

>>574524
Women can’t be as violent as men, this is the most consistent trend throughout the entire history of humanity. Sorry you were boolied by other women though.

No. 574537

>>574524
NTA, but I'm a marginalized woman, and I will always feel safer in a room full of women of any status than I will in a room of men of any status.
Of course women can be bad, but they're not the ones raping and killing us, so saying they're "just as bad" as men is a pathetic cope. I'm tired of this false equivalence of the sexes.
Feels like I'm being gaslit when I see woke people insist me and any type of man are in the same position, and we're somehow "allies" against women who are privileged, when I have to scroll past evidence of these same men going beyond the lengths any woman would go to dehumanize us, abuse us and literally kill us. It's almost like there's something about sex that transcends all other categories in life, but the current popular narrative is to play dumb and act like men and women are the same.

No. 574541

>>574511
If you were someone giving me advice: thank you so much.

>>574524
While it is true that women can and do participate in their own oppression by shitting on other women, I find it difficult to believe they do so for any reason other than trying to "fit in" to a patriarchal society. I tend to agree with >>574537 , too, because the types of violence that women perpetuate is more ideological (and petty, at that) whereas men perpetrate both ideological and physical violence. It really is a false equivalence.

No. 574542

For my first ten years of being sexually active I was always worried sick about getting pregnant. I never want kids as I struggle with bouts of despression that are severe at times and I can't predict when they'll hit. Abortion was illegal in my country and every hormonal BC that I tried basically cancelled out my antidepressants. I found a method but that fear of having nothing else to fall back on worried me.

Right around the time I decided I was done with men (too traumatised from things that had happened in my last relationship including forced sex) abortion was suddenly legalised here. I'm kinda pissed at the timing of it all, also just pissed that I ever had sex. Would take back my v card and happily call myself a 30 year old virgin if I could just take back all the stress and emotional strain that came with it.

No. 574544

>>574500
Mostly I don’t see it as mean-spirited so it doesn’t bother me.

>>574507
Yes, anon, let’s do it. I want it to be like one of those 70s hippie communes, where we grow our own garden patch and swim in lakes naked and shit.

No. 574546

>>574541
>I find it difficult to believe they do so for any reason other than trying to "fit in" to a patriarchal society
Not true. There are are ways to shit on other women that have nothing to do with gender, and they can have reasons other than wanting to "fit in" - they simply think it's right. You can criticize men without putting women on a pedestal, people are like that.

No. 574547

File: 1593013576740.png (870.64 KB, 744x846, ccdf516a2e430d428c2011cf4e8103…)

>>574516
Proud of you, girl. Live your best lolita life.

No. 574550

>>574516
Have fun, anon!

No. 574551

>>574445
It's workable if you have an understanding partner. My husband calls it "recharge time" because socialising always tires me out, sometimes to the point that I'm exhausted afterwards. I have the house to myself while he's at work and I have a reading room that I can go into if I need to be alone while other people are visiting. There's been times where I've snapped and locked myself in the car. This is down to his family not knowing when I need to be left alone and not because of something he's done.

No. 574555

File: 1593015625107.gif (413.5 KB, 500x206, your gonna suffer but your gon…)

my work is being a dick about my injury and im probably going to lose my job. im scared to lose this stability as i need the insurance and i dunno the proper way to jobhunt while im still injured. im just scared

No. 574556

>>574551
> I have the house to myself while he's at work and I have a reading room
I know so many couples who work the same 9 to 5 hours and live in one bed apartments (the type where the kitchen and living room are all one room) with no possibility of upgrading their living situation, you have a pretty good set up there.

No. 574564

>>574506
I was trying to think of something substantial to say but all I can say is I'm so happy for you.

No. 574567

File: 1593018247174.jpg (146.04 KB, 1020x500, Messy-Gamers-Room-in-Japan-102…)

I'm so salty right now and I know I look pathetic venting about this but here is the thing:

My 24yr neet hoarder brother is probably moving out really soon. The thing about this is the fact that I also still live at home at the age of 27, despise having a job. Getting my own place where I live is a pain in the ass and I'm apartment hunting for over a year now but nothing worked out. They either choose somebody else over me, the canceled everything last minute, people do not respond to messages etc etc. After all this time I'm just frustrated and truly depressed about the fact that I still live with my mom (I do pay rent etc and all that stuff btw).
So now we have my brother, who as I already mentioned a neet . He barely finished school and he had like four or five failed apprenticeships because he is unable to hold a damn job. He even got fired as a ancillary worker because he couldn't even do that. Me on the other hand finished university and have now a indefinite employment agreement. My mum let me stay at her place after finishing my education because I payed everything by myself (worked while studying) and payed all my debts off.
At some point my mum told me that it is about time to move out despise knowing how hard it is to get a place here. She always tells me that I have to work more in order to move out. My brother on the other side will get unemployment benefit, that will cover all his costs and will even buy is furniture. And I'm sitting here like ???? I save money in order to have enough when I move out because everything costs and he will get everything for free? Sure there are cheap places but I do not want to live in a damn ghetto with heroin junkies in front of my door.

I'm so mad and frustrated and the fact that he rubs it under my nose that he is "more successful" than me makes me really angry fuuuuck

No. 574574

File: 1593019032127.jpg (45.73 KB, 500x500, tumblr_inline_p7g19fesB51s48u4…)

This is dumb but I'm a skelly and my also skelly ex boyfriend just started dating a fat girl, not just chubby but proper fat. Makes me feel crazy and second guess everything and whether he was actually attracted to me. It's so frustrating seeing how in love they look whereas when we were together we were more like just best friends.

Maybe I'm an asshole but I just can't see how someone could be attracted to someone so fat if they don't have a fetish. So it makes me wonder if he did have one all this time and wtf he was doing with me.

No. 574575

>>574574
anon it's not out of the norm to be attracted to people for their personality and not their body. i can sympathize with how you feel, but it's probably not a fetish, they're just more compatible than you two were. try not to judge/take it out on either of them and heal in your own time!

No. 574576

>>574506
Good for you gal. I have to say I am usually one of those "needlessly" mean Anons, and obviously you were quick to get your shit together so you didn't need that, but for some women grooming is one hell of a drug and it takes a few virtual slaps to get them to even understand how much they're fucking up.
I'm sorry the comments were a bit much for you, but remember that it's easy to talk shit because we're all Anon, it's not personnal.

Hope everything works out for you from now on.

No. 574578

>>574567
It's hilarious that you're trying to put your brother down when you're a bigger failure than him.

No. 574579

>>574567
University educated yet you can't spell "paid"? Move out of your Mommas house. She's right to want both you failures out of there. Just because your brother is a bigger loser, doesn't mean you aren't too.

No. 574583

File: 1593020422757.jpeg (228.08 KB, 1125x1099, 28854DB5-1314-44A6-8BC0-3C0F31…)

I'm so fucking sick of having stupid fucking CSA trauma.

I've had it my whole life. Five year olds shouldn't be masturbating to the thought of being abused, fantasizing about being beaten and otherwise treated like harsh. Five year olds shouldnt be trying to show a little sister how to get off too. I don't understand how my parents didn't realize, and just told me it was a ''private thing i should do in my room.'" They loved me but they were neglectful and had no idea how to take care of a kid at the time. I got off in public too. I got pretty much alone internet access maybe around 7 years? And I was doing absolutely sick shit like getting turned on by dead animals? EXTREMELY fucked up shit. Sick fantasies followed me up until recently (Guro, loli, incest, etc) that wasn't fucking helped by my cousin molesting me and showing me how to find porn. Then came the grooming from older men and kickstarted my need for that type of attention so I started doing sick shit to appease them that only ended maybe 2 years where I'd talk openly about fetishes. I want a fuck retry at life FUCK

No. 574587

File: 1593021048477.jpg (85.72 KB, 960x956, 95f9cac2a411de10368254ce08378e…)

>>574488
I feel the same way anon. I get called a retard and have called others a retard but somehow it feel much more genuine than the fake PC niceness of mainstream social media. I know those same anons who scolded me would also defend me when I vented about being wronged. Feels good.
>>574505
>solely designed to pick apart and essentially ruin peoples lives
>solely
First of all, half of us don't even use drama-related boards
>ruin peoples lives
Kek not to hi cow buuuut

No. 574588

>>574567
I sympathized with you until you said you don’t want to live in some “ghetto” I’m sorry but if you really wanted to desperately move out any place would do so long as you have a roof over your head. But it’s clear that you like your brother have been spoiled and I know you think having to pay rent and pay off your college tuition etc makes you believe you aren’t but you are. Your mom could’ve easily kicked you out right after you graduated but she stuck it out. And I’m pretty sure whatever rent you were paying her was nothing compared to the actual cost of an apartment or heck even a room. So that’s why you’ve been able to save up. Your brother is younger than you and he may be all those things but he is still younger. You are almost 30 and complaining about not getting help to pay for things but did you even ask her to help you? Or did you just assume she would? Again I get being upset but you sound pretty entitled. Just ignore your brother stupid remarks and don’t give up apt hunting. Look I know it’s hard but if you are employed and college educated you can make it happen! Take it from me I went from sleeping in a basement on a blow up bed for almost 2 yrs to finally have my own place. You just got to not give up and save save save!

No. 574593

>>574567

just get a roommate or lover EZ

No. 574597

>>574583
I feel you anon. Thankfully I wasn't molested but I had basically the same experience with masturbation and porn, being told flipantly that I should 'do that in the shower' instead of in the middle of the living room and not explaining me why, never having my internet usage checked, watching fucked up porn and hentai, daydreaming about getting kidnapped and gangraped. I also really blame my parents.

Our brains are fucked up for sure. Brains are so malleable and it happened in our formative years. I try to be porn free but I still relapse from time to time even if I fucking hate the porn industry.
I hope you'll find a way to start healing, just know it's not your fault.

No. 574598

>>574588

My grandma lived in the said "ghetto" and her entire apartment got robben, therefore I avoid that area. Yes, I do want to move out and I'm here to pay for everything by myself. I already did that while studying, I just moved back home when I finished everything . The difference is that the town I lived back then was super cheap, I had a nice place, here in my town you only get a tiny ass room for the same price, if only. The frustration comes from the fact that nothing works out and therefore get so mad when my brother manage to accomplish it and I'm not. What do I wrong? That's the thing that I'm missing here? I have a job to pay for everything? Why I'm always so close but then get a call that says "well, it won#t work out with this flat"? We only have the super cheap places, that goes mostly to students because this is an university town or the super expensive ones. The ones in the middle price range are impossible to get. And that's another thing that when I hear that people found a place and I'm not: how did they do this? It's just … it makes me really mad and it really bothers me. I know I sound pathetic lmao

>>574593

tried both, didn't work out.

No. 574602

I was doing really well at the gym with lifting and made some impressive gains pre-lockdown, now it's all went to shit and I'm dreading having to start from basically zero. I wish I could just be satisfied with at home Chloe Ting meme workouts as opposed to having to lift heavy at the gym.

No. 574609

I really need to stop masturbating. Once I start I could go at it for an hour, finish like 6 times, and when my arm hurts too much and I get up and shower I'm not actually satisfied yet. The rest of my day is spent being frustrated sexually and also frustrated that I wasted a whole hour rocking my shit. Whenever I manage to go a few days without doing it, it just makes me hornier to the point where if I don't do it , sex is all I can think about. Sometimes I wish my hand didn't randomly gravitate towards my crotch when I was 12 and that I never discovered this aspect of life kek.

No. 574612

>>574609
Wish you the best of luck in stopping anon lol. I used to be like you, until depression completely killed off my sex drive and its just never come back. It's a blessing since I used to be so sex obsessed and masturbated everyday/every other day to the point where it would take me too long to fucking get off and I'd be frustrated, but kind of a curse because sometimes I just want to masturbate now but I can't because I can't feel anything for it.

No. 574617

File: 1593025486425.png (1.01 MB, 1188x878, n31.png)

I hate the FaceApp gender switcher.
>enter any man, even the most ugly old piece of shit, and turn him into a woman
>the woman version is noticeably younger and often pretty, typically with added makeup
>enter any woman, even the prettiest, and turn her into a man
>the man version is always some ugly unkempt fuck
This isn't realistic at all, and I feel like it deludes some men into thinking they deserve model-level attractive women.
That woman on the right looks nothing like the neckbeard on the left.

No. 574619

>>574617
So, I've never used FaceApp. Is it just a filter with no settings or do people get to fine tune it. If it's the latter, then it wouldn't surprise me that a bunch of scrotes would think they'd make a hot troon. Even if it's the form, I imagine the developers are mostly men who feel that way.

No. 574620

>>574617
Why the fuck does he always do that dumbass dreamworks brow raise? It literally makes me cringe physically.

No. 574622

I commented about having already done a sexual video call to a friend and today he asks me if we could enter one. kek what a pig, he knew it made me uncomfortable.

No. 574625

>>574612
>>574609
The irony is that both of you are probably doing this due to depression. It has a funny way of either making you completely uninterested in sex, or obsessed with it.

No. 574627

>>574619
It's just a filter, so I guess it's developer bias shining through.

No. 574628

I don't know if i should let my eyebrows grow or tweeze them. The little stubs of growing hair annoy the fuck out of me and i just couldnt resist but to pluck them. I try to ignore the tiny growing hairs and but… I dont even know anymore.

No. 574631

I'm going to be a jobless NEET for the rest of my life because I'm too afraid to actually look for fulfilling work and don't think anyone will ever hire me. I have literally convinced myself that there are no jobs that I will ever actually enjoy and that the best option for me is 40hr a week menial labor so that I have time to enjoy my hobbies on the side, at the very least.

No. 574636

>>574631
Just focus on getting a job. It doesn't have to be full time and it doesn't have to be fulfilling. Just getting some work experience and getting into the swing of things will help you immensely.

No. 574638

>>574636
I've been doing this for the past decade.

No. 574642

>>574638
To clarify, I'm only a jobless NEET right now. I lost my job due to COVID and haven't found another yet. I've almost always had a job, but I haven't liked any of them.

No. 574644

I get that I'm ugly and all but I get tired of guys trying to use me for sex.
Yes, I get I'm not good enough for a relationship well, just go jerk off or fuck stacy. Leave me alone scrotes.

No. 574645

>>574644
Bruh if you were genuinely ugly, no man would want to use you just for sex. That logic doesn't add up.

I'm sorry you've had a history of dating shitty guys, but I am very skeptical that this has anything to do with your appearance.

No. 574648

>>574645
Idk. I have so many guys in my life who just want to come around and ask "can we take a shower together?" Or something sexual. I'm just assuming they think I'm good enough for sex but too ugly to take the effort to be with seriously.

No. 574652

I started dating a guy for the first time the day quarantine started, so we haven't been able to see each other for months. He was from my university and I have a slight crush on him for a while. He's been really cute all quarantine sending me messages all the time.

Problem is, today we finally went on our first date (movies) and honestly, I didn't feel anything. I felt like we had nothing to talk about IRL even though we talk a lot through text, and the chemistry just wasn't there.

What do I do, anons? Did I just stop liking him? For context, I'm 21 and this would be my first relationship wrt everything.

No. 574655

>>574537
I guess can't really go into it without it being racebait but I also feel like I'm being gaslit when people say things like what you are

>>574541
I'm not talking about women 'shitting on other women' in the pick me sense I think you mean. There's a lot of hierarchy even within the category of 'woman', it's a indisputable fact that certain groups of women have been and continue to be perpetrators of ideological and physical violence against marginalised groups

No. 574656

>>574644
I'm ugly and I don't have this problem. Stop talking to scrotes.

No. 574662

>>574648
nta but it sounds more likely that you have some personality flaw you're not seeing that makes them not want anything serious, like low self-esteem, not your appearance. Reflect on yourself a bit, and stop entertaining men who make you feel like less.

No. 574664

I'm so frustrated at myself and my lack of nerve. Living all my life just to get praise from my parents has really done me no favours, considering that my good behaviour and achievements doesn't matter to them if my sister is acting up. Suddenly I am just as bad as her because I am the older sister and i was supposed to put her in check. I've become such a pushover and so desperate to avoid conflict and have people not think badly of me. It's all for nothing, yet I don't have the balls to go get what I want in life. I really want to be living alone in my little apartment, but the stepping stones allowing me to make this move aren't there. I've been hoping around degrees trying to find my passion, wasted so much money on chasing degrees I can't get because no matter how hard i try, I'm too retarded to do something that was supposed to be so easy. I thought I would be done with university in 3 quick years. I thought I would find myself and become beautiful, confident and excited for the future. Everyone told me to be positive and I took their advice. I try so hard, but I never get my way. Instead I'm now trapped lying to my parents that I passed my second year and they seem to think I am going to get a degree in a couple of months. I hate myself to fucking much. I hate how incompetent I am. I'm not good for anything and I hate that i can't just kill myself already because I have no nerve to go ahead with it.

No. 574667

>>574652
Ime, this is pretty normal when the majority of early courting in a relationship is done via text, or online. You can't truly get to know a person in their entirety in this way.

You're still pretty young, so if you're up for it, you could always give him another chance and go on a second date. If there's still no chemistry, it's probably just not meant to be.

No. 574687

>>574625
Not OP but AYRT and my disinterest in sex is definitely because of depression, but despite making strides in overcoming it and living a relatively normal and emotionally stable life for over a year now, my sex drive just hasn't come back. Maybe when if I can ever get health insurance I'll go see a therapist about it, but I'm not seeing/interested in seeing anyone so it doesn't really seem all that worth it. The biggest inconvenience is when I'll just sometimes think 'hm, haven't masturbated in a bit, maybe I should since no one is home' and my brain just feels so compelled to do it but my body feels so fucking meh about it and it just takes forever to do and it just starts feeling like a weird chore.

No. 574695

Anyone else here have a problem with mumbling/enunciating their words? Every time I try to have a conversation with someone , they're constantly interrupting and going "what?" and I have to keep repeating myself because they either couldn't hear or understand me. It's kinda frustrating/embarrassing especially since it just seems to be the way I naturally talk. I can't even tell that I sound bad in the moment, like I sound fine to myself but other people can't understand me. It wasn't until I recently watched some videos of me talking for a college project that I realized my speech is a little fucked up and I'm difficult to fully comprehend. Can't believe I made it 22 years with a mushmouth.

No. 574696

>>574448
Me too anon! Would you mind getting a bit more specific?

No. 574697

>>574642
I think that's fine if you never find work you like. Current HR girl went to school to pursue something like digital media production or something, but ended up in HR because it gives her solid hours and a reliable paycheck to fund her weeb passions. Do whatever makes you happy. Some people live to work, and others work to live. No shame in either of them.

No. 574705

>>574644
A lot of ugly girls have no self respect when it comes to hot men. One of 'friends' became her childhood crush's fuckbuddy and flipped the shit out when he wanted to know me better and we went on a date together. I realized he was shit and dropped him but guess what they never ended up dating. Love yourself girls

No. 574708

istg this fucken bitch is purposely giving me shit for no reason. monday, accused me of not wearing slip resistant shoes. today, came OUTSIDE when he saw me just to bitch at me saying i need to wear a mask. while i understand wearing a mask and im not mad about that, but i wasnt even going to go in the damm building. also there were literally people IN THE LOBBY WITH HIM who WERENT wearing one or wearing it improperly. damn bitch should probably be paying attention to the fucken discussion of whatever the fuck their group is talking about instead of bitching at me. hope i fucken catch covid at work despite wearing face masks and gloves and fucken die.

No. 574710

>>574363
>she gets me to say the letter over and over again
reaaaally weird behavior
doesn't sound like a good psychologist at all, she seems to have problems herself lol

No. 574714

>>571636
I'm so lonely and sad. I have 0 friends. My social anxiety is so bad that I can't go out of the house and it's been almost 2 years. I spend the days doing nothing because i feel awful most of the time, I'm wasting my life but i can't get better. No one will ever love me, i'm ugly and my body is shit

No. 574725

>>574695
I feel you anon I've been told I mumble my whole life but to me I'm just speaking normally. And then when I try to not mumble I just feel like I'm yelling.

I have no advice for you because I still mumble and at this point don't care kek but you're not alone!

No. 574731

im so sick of my saggy fukkin boobs, they aren't big, i'm not old, why the fuck they so ugly

No. 574734

Fuuuuuck my last name is such a hassle. It's a really simple name but I am stuck with a more uncommon spelling. So many official things end up with the wrong spelling and it drives me insane. I can fill out a form or spell it out for them over the phone and they still fuck it up. I have awards from my school where they managed to spell it differently three different times over the past few years.

Anyway I just had to send back a bunch of legal forms because they spelled my name wrong!!!

No. 574740

>>571636
I was rated below average on a reddit rate me thread. Now I understand that I probably won't ever be able to find a man that I actually like. It sucks because I don't have parents or a family so I do not have love. Also I was bullied at Uni a lot for being ugly and some people said to me because they are jealous but I guess this justifies it…

I have feelings for a male character that I made up for a story and whenever I imagine myself with him I just cry because I know I will never be able to get that quality of a man irl.

No. 574744

>>574740
Why in the hell would you subject yourself to getting rated on reddit?

No. 574746

>>574695
I find that keeping my mouth hydrated and speaking slowly helps. Whenever someone says "what?" to me then I know I haven't drunken water in a while.

No. 574747

>>571636
>>574744

I was rated below average by a lot of guys I even got a 3-4/10 by one guy on there. It was the truerateme one Just I got a lot of comments on that post and a few guys that gave me a better score got shut down quickly by the other members. Most girls on those threads got rated higher than me on average, and one dude dmed me saying I need to get a rhinoplasty.

No. 574751

>>574747
Why the fuck would you ever give a shit what some random chode on Plebbit thinks about your appearance? You don’t need a nose job, you need a spine implant.

No. 574753

>>574747
from the 5 minutes i suffered looking through that cancer of a subreddit, literally no one gets more than 5/10, their rating scale makes no sense; and why would be given beauty is, in the end, subjective.
Please delete your post there and never do it to yourself again.

No. 574755

>>574740
I just went and checked that subreddit and it's absolute cancer.
Anon, you can't rate people through a shitty selfie. Some of the most attractive/sexy people I know wouldn't be considered especially beautiful, but their attitude, their personality makes them shine. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's the truth.
I myself I'm below average in looks (bad skin, ugly smile, dry hair, chubby), I've been called ugly multiple times by strangers in the street (lol fuck men), but I've never had problems finding decent guys that appreciated who I was and were attracted to me. I think I'm funny, a good person, and I work hard on taking care of myself and having my own style, even if strangers consider me ugly. I had plenty of beautiful (on the inside and the outside) men like me.
Work on your self image, don't self sabotage yourself by seeking validation from dumbfucks on reddit.

No. 574756

Living with parents and the mobile home park we're at only has one water line for a hundred people. Someone had plumbers come to fix something, and they turned off water for the park without telling anyone this morning. While fixing something, it turns out they broke that main line so we're going to be without water for at least another day. I am pissed that I'm going to have to essentially shower with water bottles for who knows how long and no-one, not even the main office, bothered to say anything. The neighborhood consists of predominantly elderly people who are in need of basic necessities like this and they didn't say anything to me so I know they didn't say shit to them. I'm also mad I didn't just get up at the crack of dawn to shower but I couldn't have known. It's just so frustrating when there's dirty dishes that can't get cleaned, I can't brush my teeth or properly wash my hands…just ugh I hate this.

No. 574758

>>574628
maybe you should draw on your eyebrows everyday if the sight of them being tiny and growing in bugs you.

No. 574767

>>574753
Holy fuck lol I’d rather kill myself than having people know I posted my face in that place. /soc/ rate threads are less pathetic. Many posts are obvious LARPing scrotes too.

No. 574768

>>571636
Nta but soc rate threads are more pathethic imho

No. 574777

>>574740
Don't beat yourself up over that crap. Every time I've ever lurked on that sub I see men and women who are very conventionally attractive get a 6/10. Those idiots never leave the house long enough to see what the average person really looks like.

No. 574782

Since la Rona shut down all parks and canceled all summer camps/ kid summer stuff massive amounts of families have been crowding into the public plaza/super width street next to my window. I don’t mind it during the day but recently they’ve just been pushing it farther and farther and it’s 10 fucking PM now and I can still hear the sounds of kids screaming loudly. Not just one of two kids, like 10-15 kids all in the little play groups. Like who is out with their kids that fucking late? That plaza is also crawling with homeless people at night, it always was but since corona the amount of hobos pissing and sprawling on bench’s and stuff has increased by at least 3 fold, more benches are occupied then empty at this point. If these parents just push it by one more hour they are gonna start clashing with homeless that come there to sleep at night cause they general begin arriving at around 11 and some of who can get very aggressive.I just want PEACE and QUIET at night. I’m nervous that even if they open parks people will be too fucking lazy to walk to park now that they realize they can just take their kid to the plaza around the corner.FML.

No. 574793

File: 1593051377277.png (11.26 KB, 387x183, rateme.png)

>>574740
>>574777
Just lurked there for a few minutes and found this gem. Don't take those places seriously. If you read their side bar, they say treat the mean as 5 with a standard deviation of 1.3 and assume normal distribution. That standard deviation is far too narrow and causes everyone to rate people as a 5 or risk a goddamn warning.

No. 574804

>>574793

That truerateme subreddit is full of no life incels. Women get more harshly rated while some acne ridden greasy ugly man who prob browses 4chan gets a 7/10

No. 574805

A few months ago I tried dating a guy in my friend’s group for a few weeks, before I put an end to it because he was too clingy, and I wasn’t really feel it anyway.
He got a bit upset and salty about it (reason why I didn’t want to be with him was his emotional tantrums) but ultimately we still remained friends because we’re all in our late 20s and I thought we were all mature adults. We even dated other people briefly.

Well, was talking to a guy who started hanging with my friends a few months ago and he basically told me he felt bad and didn’t know how to announce it to me but when he joined, that one guy told him and others that I was basically a slut and sleeping around with everyone.

I’m so mad. I feel dumb that I spent so much time around this guy, thinking we were still friends, when he trash talked me publicly to people who didn’t even know me. I can’t believe this guy is in his early 30s.
I cut him off immediately but I feel so betrayed. I was feeling confident in my own body but turns out, even if all you do is have fun consensual relationships, some salty dude will be raging about it.

No. 574815

I am depressed as shit bc my first day back at work since being furloughed has been pushed back again for like the fourth fucking time, my unemployment is fucked because I have a late filing (I was super depressed at the end of May/beginning of June so forgot to request payment because all I did was cry and sleep. my fault but still sucks) and of fucking course I cannot get in touch with anyone by calling or emailing to remove it, and (of course!) my grandma died yesterday. I texted my boyfriend about this and he called me but it just made me feel worse because I felt like he just seemed annoyed I was crying and barely understandable because of all this shit. He told me he loved me but that he really did need to finish his homework he's behind in so he would text me occasionally but couldn't talk too long. I know he's not in a good place either because of his mom and because he IS behind in that class so I know he couldn't really stop and have me cry for like three hours to him, but it was difficult to try and talk to him when I felt like I was distracting him or some shit. Plus it was like all he could focus on was the unemployment bit, like I'm fucking trying to get in touch to see if they can remove my late filing but its a fucking government agency so I probably won't get in touch until like fucking August, especially with how bad unemployment is rn.

Therapy was actually making me feel better and now I feel right back at square one. My grandma dying really made me realize how lonely I am. I have no family in the state (or even in neighboring states), my bf lives an hour or so away, I only have 2 friends (who I barely talk to anymore), and I live alone. I haven't really left my house except for occasional grocery store trips. I just wish I could hug someone rn. Sorry if this made no sense I've been drinking.

>>574714
I understand how you feel anon. What are you into? Maybe you could find a forum or group for your interests online! I found a website for people who are really into puzzles, and it made me feel more accepted and like I had friends even though I didn't join (because I was too shy and don't have a facebook kek). Sometimes just lurking can help. Do you have a good relationship with your mom, dad, or any siblings? Maybe get in touch with them if you do.

If nothing else, I've felt the same way and feel the same way rn. I love you anon and I will be your friend!

No. 574830

>>574628
Mind you, i didnt tweeze off all my eyebrows. Just the parts where there's excess hair (top and bottom and they grow ever so slowly) and im not good at drawing in eyebrows anyways. Ill just wait for them to grow a bit and have someone thread them once quarantines over.

No. 574832

My life is literally a train wreck right now. A train wreck is probably putting it lightly actually.
-living in a foreign country for the last 2.5 years
- my mom might need surgery and it’s scary
-passport expires soon so I couldn’t even go back in an emergency
-coronavirus complicates things even more
-divorce should be finally completed in a few days
-however I’ve been separated from him for almost a year.
-coworkers started treating me shitty recently. Not to brag but I am a hard worker and take my job seriously so I just want basic normal respect levels at least.
-was raped by some stranger over a year ago and the police found him a few months ago but this investigation and repeating shit is wearing on me and I just want to give up since I know there’s a slim chance he’ll be prosecuted let alone convicted.
-I have a new boyfriend since I separated from my husband
-he always had anger problems when he got angry it was a kinda scary extreme rage and he said shitty things, however I’m no angel and I’m also psychopathic when I’m angry
-two days ago I tried to talk to him about the coworkers being shitty to me after we had a nice day out, little bit of chores but also had ice cream together and made it into a date,and he just sighed loudly and got really cold towards me. I was kinda frustrated since I feel like I can rarely talk to him. He uses the excuse of having a bad day or being stressed so he doesn’t want to hear it but even after having a nice day he also doesn’t want to hear it?
-I got mad and threw my phone down and then he got up and flew into a rage and kicked the garbage can, kicked the cleaning bucket and broke it, screaming, looking like the hulk, I got kinda frustrated more because he always does this when I get upsets or angry and it feels annoying because now I have to drop my feelings and try to make him feel better.
-I tell him that. He gets more angry. I told him I’m stressful and told him about all the above things. He told me “all of those things are your fault” I got extremely upset because that includes my rape. So I ask him “my rape is my fault?” Also upsets because before he took my side in my divorce and said it’s my husbands fault for being shitty but now suddenly he’s acting like it’s my fault. Also how is my moms surgery my fault?
-I hit him in the bicep honestly because I was so angry and his comments were so cruel
-after that I ran into the kitchen to get away from him. He dragged me back into the bedroom. I talked more. And he hit me in the face. Hard. He took my shirt and started whipping my back with it. Like I’m shirtless here because he took my shirt. He’s whipping me. Stopping and thinking and continues whipping me, so it wasn’t even an impulse. I try to get up to go into the kitchen and he hits me again in the face, hard, I’m crying face down on the bed
-he grabs me by my hair and lifts my head up by my hair and gets right down in my ear and tells me he will kill me. He says this 2-3 times.
-later I try to go into the bathroom and he follows me in and pushes me into the bathtub so I hit my head on the wall behind it and fall down. He gets me out of there bathtub and I’m screaming in the kitchen hoping the neighbour calls the cops. Hélices me in the leg and puts me in a choke hold or something. He’s strangling me and I can barely breathe. I fell down and he stops.
-long story short but he did a lot of shit. I’m not completely innocent because I hit him but I’m scared. The next day he acted like usual and kisses me hugs me tells me he loves me.

I have a huge nasty bruise on my arm. It literally covers my whole forearm. And I checked my scalp with my camera because it hurt and there’s cuts and dried blood on my scalp. My knees are also bruised and cut from being thrown around/falling down.

I just want to die.

No. 574842

>>574832
How are some of you retards even alive with your choice in men. You punching a rage filled man in the arm is nothing, he has not an excuse for actual verifiable DV. Take pictures of your injuries, report him to cops, renew your passport and call your mom. Jesus your mom is about to go through a scary thing but here you are, putting up with some scrotes abuse.

No. 574844

>>574832
I'm so worried about you right now. Is there a local crisis you can go to? Is leaving the country feasible once your divorce is finalized? If his domestic violence escalates even a little more, he might legit end up killing you.

No. 574846

>>574832
This brought tears to my eyes. I've been stuck in relationships similar to this before too. I remember that at the time, leaving felt like an impossibility. But you have to leave. I know you can do it. You don't deserve that treatment.

No. 574850

>>574832
And you're still going to keep living with him? Good luck not getting murdered by that freak someday

No. 574853

>>574832
leave. leave. leave. leave. leave. leave. stay with a friend. a female only hostel. a domestic violence shelter.

take photos of your injuries. get the fuck away from him. is ur relationship with your ex total dogshit? is he an abuser? if not stay with him. i'm afraid if you see this guy again, you will die. please take care of yourself.

No. 574854

>>574832
i never post in this thread but saw this while scrolling by and oh my god anon. get out. please. run. take pictures like the others are saying and just do something, anything. i know you can do it and really wish i could do more to help but i’ll be keeping you in my thoughts. it’s not okay and you can change this.

No. 574857

>>574389
>>574433
If you are potheads I introduce you to my best friends and we can make sleepovers in cute pjs being high af

No. 574861

i hate PCOS, was diagnosed last year and so i started doing what my doctors suggested. i lost a large amount of weight, spent months exercising and dieting and doing good skincare with the acne vulgaris I got from my condition. taking metphormin at night, all was good for a short while.

but i easily managed to gain the extra weight back, and somehow it started to increase - currently 1 kilo less than 70. and this time exercising and dieting isn't making any progress. my hair has been thinning badly for years and i'm happy that i found the answer to my problem but like, it's too late. I accepted my fate in a chance of becoming bald. no amount of solutions my mom keeps on suggesting is going to make it thick, permanently.

and i can't have kids, or barely going to have kids despite medicines to help me conceive. and adopting a child that isn't blood related, even if it were related to me, can be still seen as a shame or disappointment to womanhood here.

my dad doesn't try to understand PCOS, so is mom. they all think its temporary. they all think it's my fault whatsoever when i assume i got PCOS the moment i entered puberty, when i was 9 at the time, the effects of my condition worsen in highschool and it grew the moment i entered college.

at least, the acne is gone. but the acne scar are still visible if you get close to me. but i don't think i'd fine someone to love me tbh, to engage in a romantic relationship and hopefully get married because society still thinks marriage isn't complete if there isn't a child in the picture in my country.

No. 574862

>>574861
Ketogenic diet treats pcos

No. 574864

>>574862
i'll try to look it up, anon. thanks for the info. at least, i feel better after venting.

No. 574875

Why does everytime I try to talk to my family both of them have to bring up some flaw of mine? Literally always. No joke. And when I get upset that I am always the butt of jokes or the person being criticized they're like "oh anon you can't even take a joke" and then talk about my non-joking-taking ability and then get mad at me and I have to apologize. So it's a lose-lose everytime. It's always like
"You have a bad posture"
"You have saggy boobs"
"You're always alone"
"You're rude"
"You don't talk to us"
"You have ugly hairy legs"
"You have a mean tone"
"You have an attitude"
"You're always on your phone"
"You have awful hair"
"You're ugly"
They have made me so insecure about myself. And then they get assmad when I keep to myself. I can't even call them out because they're all 'see? See? You're acting so rude' I'm tired.

No. 574878

Imagine spending time of your life discussing about if Women also have the capacity to be as bad as Men.

No. 574885

my boyfriend has been so grumpy all the time and every small thing makes it worse. i can't really handle when people feel a lot of anger and i sort of shut down and don't talk to them. idk i know he can't help it because of his horrible allergies and such but yeah. i can't handle it.

No. 574887

>>574885
Break up

No. 574893

>>574862
This and look into iodine supplementation. An internet search should tell you what you need to know.

No. 574931

my parents are never happy for me when something good happens. I initially feel good when something good happens/i achieve something, but thats quickly ruined by their responses and i fucking hate it. nothing is ever enough for them. Not telling them doesnt help cos word gets around. Its so fucking dumb and soul destroying.

No. 574934

anyone feel as though they lack any sense of tangible identity? i feel insoucient toward most everything, however i think this is mostly suppression. i have spent time cultivating a level of taste and outward self that doesn't feel organic. and yet at the times, at many different instances, it felt "real". also, i am not diagnosed with bpd, and have never been suspected of having it. i suppose i'm just overly neurotic, solipsistic, and anxiety ridden, with a case of arrested development. basically, i'm a 21 year old who still feels like a child, in terms of self knowledge. anyone else feel this way? perhaps it's a condition of our consumer society, and this tendency to want to brand or commodify ourselves? i really don't know. maybe i'm just an empty dumb bitch.

No. 574940

I wish my brother would disappear. Sometimes I wish he had been aborted. My parents were way too old when they had him. And they were/are definitely too old to deal with his autism. He's high-functioning, but a grade-A 18-year old asshole. He hasn't finished secondary school, and I don't think he's planning to. He plays video games in his bedroom all day, and doesn't clean anything, doesn't even put his dishes in the dishwasher. His room smells like a 14-year old’s.

As he was pretty violent in the past, my parents babied him and let him do anything, such as letting him put his computer in his room at age 15, which was a terrible fucking idea 'cause he'd just play games all night and then refuse to go to school the next morning. He's been thrown out of 3 schools for being violent or because of his atrocious grades.

He once punched through a door pane of the room I was hiding from him when I was 14 and he was 10. I had to walk home from school with him and he would hit me the whole way. Now he's 18, doesn't do jack shit, refuses to go to therapy and gets angry when you ask him to do something or give him advice.

He's recently become more violent during lockdown and it is hell. Just 20 minutes ago, he hit my dad hard enough on the head to make him fall and bleed (my dad is fucking 65 so this is not a fucking joke) and grabbed my mom by the wrists and threw her to the ground. I just stood there in fear. I couldn't fucking do anything. My parents refuse to put him in psychiatric care or whatever. But I'm fearing for their life and mine.

I'm still a uni student, so moving out isn’t really an option. My student room will only be available in September. I can't exactly go live with either of my sisters either. I’m so mad at everyone. At my brother for being such a dickhead and blaming everything on his autism, my parents for being such doormats, social services (for a lack of a better term) for just not giving a flying rat’s ass. But I’m mostly really scared.

I don’t know if I should call the police, the psychiatric hospital, my sisters or all the above.

I wish he would just go. Storm off after an argument, never to be seen again. He won’t, of course, because how else is he going to play his fucking video games?

No. 574942

>>574940
he is 18 years old which makes him a legal adult. Next time he gets physical with you call the police. This is not okay & domestic abuse.
Get out of there. Can't you move in with your sisters until september?

No. 574943

>>574940
Anon please call the police when he gets violent again. You should not have to live in fear of your own safety while in your own home, you do not deserve this. Like the other anon said, he's legally an adult. Tough fucking tits on him, get him the fuck out of your home.

No. 574944

>>574940
It's okay to hate him, but you should be way more angry at your parents cause this is mostly their fault.
Just from an outsider's perspective:
>His room smells like a 14-year old’s.
Yeah my room never smelled off when I was 14 cause I would've been screamed at. My mother had conniptions when I was older and in college and dared to leave clothes on the floor when I was rushed. Dish in the sink? Screamed at. No chores done? Screamed at.
Not saying my mom wasn't a bitch, but if your parents actually cared about your brother's lack of standards then they'd do something about it.
>my parents babied him and let him do anything
They treated him like a king when he didn't earn it so now he acts like a tyrant who's entitled to it. Now nobody can tell him anything because he's a child in an adult male's body. Someone needs to either cut him off or kick his ass into compliance, and I've got a gut feeling your geriatric parents aren't gonna concern themselves with the latter if they can even perform the former.
Next time when he beats your parents call the fucking cops, it's aggravated assault. If he can't afford bail or a lawyer then your parents best not simp and do it for him. See if he went to court, he might be able to get resources for his anger and co-dependency issues although he will whine, kick, and scream the whole way.


I'd say if you really want to get him pissed, the next time he beats on your parents and you sneak into his room and take his gaming consoles. But that would probably get you all murdered as the sociopath clearly doesn't love any of you.

No. 574954

File: 1593098793803.jpg (10.37 KB, 640x436, fuck.jpg)

why am i so mediocre at literally everything i do
i try my best an the results are always shit

No. 574965

>>574734
I feel you, my last name is huge, has 5 A's and it's so annoying having to spell it out for everyone, and them still butchering the pronunciation

No. 574968

I'm on an emotional roller-coaster today to the point where the nausea of it made me throw up so much water and bile. I wanna look at the positives and get well but I'm kinda shocked and exhausted and still tensing up (which is exactly what caused this response in the first place). Gonna try to ease up. My boyfriend and I are going for a walk which is important but also kinda emotional / stressful. Might call it a day soon then.

No. 574972

I'm on an emotional roller-coaster today to the point where the nausea of it made me throw up so much water and bile. I wanna look at the positives and get well but I'm kinda shocked and exhausted and still tensing up (which is exactly what caused this response in the first place). Gonna try to ease up. My boyfriend and I are going for a walk which is important but also kinda emotional / stressful. Might call it a day soon then.

No. 574998

seems I've lost all my tolerance toward whiny, sheltered pissbabies that complain and cry over the most trivial things. I can not fucking stand to see how thin skinned they all are, like holy shit, if you're this upset about opinions online how are you going to cope once life actually lashes out at you. I used to be more forgiving but maybe as I keep growing older, I just can't listen to it anymore. If I see one more 'I'm literally shaking omg I can't breath' post on my feed I'm going to punch through my computer screen.

No. 574999

>>574954
the first step to being good at something is to be bad at something. Keep practising anon, I've heard a around the 500 hour mark of a skill, people will start to see a noticeable improvement. It sounds like a long time but in the grand scheme of your life, it isn't. If you want to be better than mediocre you've got to persevere!

No. 575001

>>574940
Your brother sounds a lot like my older brother. Mine is also a high functioning autist who used to be violent. My brother calmed down once he got some kind of medication from a psychiatrist and trooned out, he isn't violent anymore but shows no remorse for the time he was. The reality is though that the only thing you can do is leave. You can't force your parents to change, and you can't expect him to get a sudden desire to leave.
Dealing with an autist and doormat parents is so tiring. Everything they do is excused with autism. They never change and make no effort to.
>>574944
>you sneak into his room and take his gaming consoles
I did this once when I was much younger and then he threatened me at knifepoint and told me he would kill me. My older cousin was around to stop him and when I told my mom she told me it was my fault for provoking him.

No. 575016

>>574999
nta but the "first step to being good at something is to be bad at something" hit me like a truck for some reason. I flipflop between doing watercolors as a hobby (picked it up completely on a whim) and while I try not to feel so discouraged about how bad I am (I tell myself it's just for fun and never post any of my paintings) it's hard to want to continue when everything looks like shit, but your words make me want to start again. Thanks anon!

No. 575025

I'm getting so tired of streaming services, it feels like you need 20 different subscriptions to get shit that isn't a D list movie from 2012. I have Hulu/Netflix/Prime and the selections get worse every day. The movies I want to watch require renting/premium subscription, and Netflix's selection just sucks. I liked having South Park on for background noise and now that's off Hulu as well.

No. 575028

I've self-harmed 3 times in the past few months. This is after having gotten down to only once a year, if at all, since 2012. I'm trying not to judge myself too much because I lost my job and basically every other distraction in my life due to COVID and have been dealing with a health problem since the beginning of the year, so I'm under an insane amount of stress…but still. This really fucking sucks. I hate feeling this unstable and out of control. I've grown so much over the past few years thought I was better than this.

No. 575029

>>575025
Join a private torrenting site.

No. 575030

>>574998
you sound triggered

No. 575035

>>575025
kek anon I've been using illegal sites for the shit I can't find on streaming forever, even if the quality isn't always great it's better than nothing

No. 575036

I just want to be able to talk about the crimes in law enforcement without some triggered bitch coming at me with "NOT ALL COPS!" because her uncle's pappy in on the force. Idgaf.

No. 575041

I'm fucking leaving today. I can't take one more fucking minute with someone who can't take an ounce of criticism or suggestion without getting defensive and insulting me or crumpling to the floor in a pathetic crying mess

No. 575043

>>575030
>venting!? In MY vent thread?? Unheard of

No. 575046

>sign up on email list for a remote program for coding offered thru local uni
>didn't expect to hear back for a few days
>they happen to call me same day in the evening while I'm driving home from work
>ask to reschedule to call today, interviewer agrees
>sent me annoying Google notifications all day about my 'scheduled' interview
>took time off the clock at work to talk at 'scheduled' time
>crickets, no phone call 10 minutes past 'scheduled' time

People are annoyiiiiiiiiiiiiing.

No. 575052

My bulimia has been very bad this month. I've struggled for 5 years and this year I finally decided to go to a psychiatrist but after the whole covid hit , it just has been near impossible to go back. I do not have a lot of money so I may not be able to afford it I just don't know what to do and am worried this thing is gonna kill me if I don't recover soon.

I've barely logged into facebook for almost if not more than 2 months. "The friends" I usually spoke with know of my disorder but I don't wanna be a bother to them and in the past i've once mentioned how sad I was etc, and one of them just said: idk what to say about that. The two friends I talked to the most get along with other two people but to those two im only an acquaintance so it is hard to be into the conversation.

I'm sad cuz I know im not the best person, but I am not the worst either and idk I just wish I had real friends

No. 575056

File: 1593114687175.gif (425.54 KB, 500x255, 1488095473992.gif)

My company furloughed my whole dept yesterday due to COVID. The earliest time of maybe coming back is in September. Honestly, we all expected it but heck it would've been nice to not have to panic about making rent.

The worst part of it is my boyfriend worked in a different dept and they've all been furloughed as well. He's horribly depressed about it because he really liked that job and I just want him to hug him and tell him it's going to be okay.

No. 575057

I feel like people who are obsessed with always trying to save money and find cheap versions of things are annoying, like sometimes it's okay to just enjoy yourself or splurge on something. I'm not talking about people who are in genuinely bad financial situations but people who are just cheap and they inflict it on to you by never wanting to do anything that costs money or trying to find a cheaper version of something constantly when you hang out with them which means you are kind of forced to do it as well to not make them uncomfortable.

No. 575063

>>575057
Oh God my boyfriend is like this and its super annoying. I never tell him how much money I spend on things anymore because he always claims I spent too much and could have gotten it cheaper somewhere else. Meanwhile, he buys low-quality products and brags about how much he saved, even though they often break after like two months of use. He buys things like in bulk because it was "such a good deal" and it'll all just end up sitting around in random parts of the house because we don't have enough room in the cabinets to fit all of it. He's also obsessed with coupons. It's so fucking autistic lmao.

No. 575069

My parents secretly put aside a "rainy day bail money fund" for me because they were sure I was going to be arrested these past few years for assaulting people (men). If a drunk dude wants to ruin my night, I have no issue hitting him with my skateboard. I am almost 6' tall and extremely deep-voiced so it's like having a big ol' tranny run up on you. I don't pick fights but I certainly spin them in my favour with truckfucking.
It hasn't happened in almost two years now but I have this type of pent up rage where I could cut down trees for a week without stopping, or crush cars but with my own elbow grease and brutality. I can't stop feeling so angry, I swear it's the driving force that keeps me upright and walking. I rejoice when I have a reason to hit someone. I have no idea how to stop or if I even should, it just feels so damn fucking good to explore rage like that. To feel the sadness and the confusion like it's in a big mixing bowl but blended poorly.
The day I'm finally arrested, I will sleep well on my flat, uncomfortable cell bed knowing that I had fun and did right by me. The day I'm finally punished for how badly I control myself, I will feel justified still.
This is my edgiest post and I didn't want to write it in my journal because I try to keep it better than this shit. Thank you for letting me vomit my feelings

No. 575071

>>575057
I feel this and I've experienced a particular male version of it with my guy friends. I know that it's very unfair of me to think this because everyone is entitled to their own priorities, but it's honestly pissed me off to see various male friends balk at doing totally reasonable, normal, expected social things (that women tend to do more without bitching because we're socialized to do the work in maintaining relationships) just because they cost a bit more money than the bare bones alternative or not doing something.

The two key examples that come to mind are male friends who are super resistant to going to any sit down restaurant and being resistant to buying any drinks whatsoever at bars/paying cover or tickets to bar shows. And I'm talking about people who I know have the money to occasionally spend $15-$20 on a restaurant meal instead of $8 counter service. Another example is skipping out on a party or event because they don't want to pay for an uber and they bitch out of walking. I promise you that none of this stuff in my city is overly expensive, and I would never expect someone to spend like that all the time, but literally never doing it out of frugality??

I would never actually bring this up to them because I know it's their choice but the thing that really bothers me about it is that they seem to not see that there's value in spending a little money to participate in social activities with friends who care about them. The type of attitude I'm talking about definitely has a self centered edge to it.

No. 575073

>>575069
This was honestly terrifying to read. Behavior like this is what leads to the type of assault that ends up killing people. These urges to commit violence are just going to get worse and you will absolutely end up in prison if you don't nip it in the bud. I don't know what happened to you to make you like this, but you need extensive therapy to explore those reasons ASAP.

No. 575074

>>575069
A-anon will you be my friend? Or could I hire you to walk me home from work?

No. 575075

>>575069
Men are not worth going to prison over. Come on, anon.

No. 575076

>>575069
I want you to be my prison gf

No. 575077

>>575069
lol okay Aileen Wuornos

No. 575078

>>575069
kek you remind me of a prison youtuber I used to watch, Christina Randall. She went to prison for fighting. It might do you well to check out some of her videos.

No. 575082

tfw you've been making fun of bpdfags for ages and your only friend told you they strongly suspect you have bpd and to get therapy

No. 575083

>>575069
use some of that bail fund for therapy, this isn't normal.

No. 575087

>>575056
Are you in the US anon? I think furloughed employees can still claim unemployment if it's due to Covid. If not, I truly wish you two the best of luck in getting through this!!

No. 575093

>>575082
Almost nobody who casually accuses others of having BPD has enough knowledge of the disorder to legitimately do so. It's basically become a meme at this point and is just used to shame women that show any emotional instability whatsoever. Sounds like you're equally guilty of having done so, too.

You probably should seek therapy, but don't worry about having BPD. Unless you think having the label would actually help you in some way, I wouldn't even worry about receiving a diagnosis at all. Even licensed psychologists misdiagnose people with BPD all the time.

No. 575095

>>575093
Agreed, and honestly anon unless you desperately need it for insurance/treatment access reasons, you don't WANT an official BPD diagnosis. At least in the US, psychs are very, very bad at accurately diagnosing people with it and it carries a large stigma that could cause care providers to view you with a lot less credibility. And you don't deserve that, no one does. I objectively meet enough of the checklist criteria for BPD but after taking a (clinical grade) personality test, a retarded psychiatrist told me she didn't think I was BPD because my "gender roles" score was too androgynous and women with BPD tended to be "very feminine, like using their sexuality for attention". Yes, seriously. My girl also had pussy hat art in her office, so take that as you will.

I used to think I had BPD. But then I realized my issues were very clearly linked to unaddressed trauma, and I didn't need to give myself a pejorative label for my natual, human responses to adverse circumstances. If you have trauma, focus on getting therapy for that. DBT can also be helpful if you think learning coping skills would be better for you and you do not need a BPD diagnosis for that, it's used for anxiety/depression all the time and those don't carry anywhere near the level of stigma.

No. 575099

Today a woman in my group said she was hoping to start a family with her bf and when asked which gender she'd prefer, she said male but she'd like to have a daughter in future because they're more likely to look after you when you're old.
I almost vomited.

No. 575101

>>575099
So she knows her son is more likely to not give a shit about her and wants a son anyway? What's her reasoning?

No. 575104

>>575095
Thank you for this. I feel like I'm constantly pulling fucking teeth trying to explain to people that BPD traits can also be indicative of childhood and chronic trauma. If you're going through a particularly rough patch, it can look like BPD even to a trained clinician.

Personality disorders are stable across all contexts, and individuals who have them are extremely difficult to work with. They typically lack self-awareness and don't fully comprehend that anything is wrong with them. It's also not just certain relationships in the person's life that tend to be unstable (ie: you struggle in romantic relationships, but your friendships are fine), and rather all of your relationships suffer as a result of your behavior.

Honestly, if you haven't lost all of your friends and loved ones, are constantly having to move, join new circles of people, etc, you are probably not suffering from a personality disorder.

I think it's ironic that BPD is mostly diagnosed in women, when the two people that always come to mind for me that may genuinely meet the criteria for diagnosis are men (Onision and Sam Hyde).

No. 575107

>>575101
Honestly, I don't know. I didn't want to ask because I'm bad at hiding emotions. Considering her reasoning behind wanting a daughter, I doubt I'd want to hear it. Probably something among the lines that sons are less drama and whatnot.

No. 575109

Today is my sisters 30th bday And in recent years she’s been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. Anyway like I said before today is her bday and she hasn’t been answering our messages or FaceTimes and it’s kinda freaking me out. I could just be paranoid And she posted cute pics a day before on her insta but I know turning 30 for us women especially if we aren’t married and don’t have children can be triggering. I’m scared she might have done something stupid. I hope I’m just being a paranoid loon. But she moved far away so we don’t have direct access to her and the first thing my little sister asked me when i came from work is if she heard from her. Again praying that I’m just being a dark negative weirdo again.

No. 575111

>>575087
You're correct, we applied for unemployment but because of the pandemic there's going to be horrible waiting game to hear back.

We're more fortunate than most, thankfully. His rent is insanely low, and I can go #creditcardlife until UC comes in. He just called and I think I managed to calm him down a little. Thank you for the well wishes, anon <3

No. 575112

>>575109
> I know turning 30 for us women especially if we aren’t married and don’t have children can be triggering
lol wut

No. 575113

>>575112
Seriously, this is so scrote-tier it hurts.

No. 575115

>>575112
Why are you acting like there is not a societal pressure a lot of women feel to have these things by 30?

No. 575119

>>575109
Did she ever actually communicate to you that she wants those things(to get married and have kids) or are you just projecting onto her?

No. 575123

>>575113
Yeah. The only thing that's missing from that post is dry eggs or whatever the new insult is for a "barren" woman.
>>575115
I'm not denying the societal pressure but the way that anon phrased it and somehow made a connection between depression and being 30, childless and unmarried is very scrotish.

No. 575127

>>575101
The reasons women usually give as to why they don't want daughters are almost always indicative of internalized misogyny.

>"I don't want to have to worry about them all the time!"

Yeah, because they're more likely to be harassed, raped, ignored, emotionally abused, physically abused, and sexually abused by men.

>"I don't think I could raise a daughter as well as a son"

Because children are more likely to mimic the behavioral patterns of the same-gendered parent. You, as her mother, have internalized misogyny that you haven't worked through, therefore she is likely to develop all of the same issues with low self-worth, learned helplessness, submissiveness, etc. Since you don't like these traits in yourself, you are also likely to contribute to your daughter's issues by shaming her all the time for being this way.

No. 575128

>>575109
Anon I’m so sorry, that’s so scary! Prayers for you and your family that she’s okay. Also I don’t get the other anons, yeah that’s Scrote behavior but there’s a reason there’s a fucking PATRIARCHY lol most normie women are not pinkpilled and do feel those pressures of aging!!

No. 575148

>>575123
>>575113
>>575112
okay im >>575109 anon and i wrote this on my mobile and i was about to get in the shower so it came off wrong.I am not a disgusting male but i can see why me saying "us as women" could be miscontrued. I was afraid of being labeled a scrote so in trying to not come off like one i ended up sounding like one lmao. But you guys have to admit that women are often judged once we hit a certain age. Hell you guys constantly use women's ages against them on this site. Even if she didnt want kids/marriage its still a forced pressure that is placed on us whether we subscribe to it or not. My sister is very sensitive and always has been and she has mentioned multiple times that she is dreading turning 30. But i often brushed it off because i figured its just a life crisis a lot of people go through. To be honest even I did when i turned 23-25 which i realize now is ridiculous.But it happens. Again i could just be projecting because i get really bad birthday depression too. Im sorry if i came off like women past 30 are unworthy. I dont feel that way at all. Im just scared and trying to think of a reason why she wouldnt contact anyone.
>>575128
Thank you for getting it! like you said most women are not pink pilled like a lot of us are so they subscribe to that bullshit. Im just going to wait it out though and hope im just being a paranoid lol

No. 575155

>>575148
Ntayrt but the reactions to your post kinda proved a point kek
>what do you mean?? there's no social pressure for women to be a married mom at 30 reeeeee
Yes, there is. Anons don't like facing the truth

No. 575161

I don't know where I'd begin but I just want to say that life and trying to have a good life in general is extremely frustrating. Seriously can't recall the last time I've felt good and was in a happy mood that wasn't completely quashed by the time the day ended.

Getting real sick of this shit.

No. 575162

>>575155
There is but lets be honest, a massive amount of that pressure is self inflicted. I'm gonna go on a tangent here because it's the vent thread.

Every time a young girl sees a 30 year old woman panicking about her age status, she starts to fear becoming 30 as well. Every woman who cries about being single and childless makes younger women see being single and childless as the end of the world. This is one thing where women need to take responsibility and have some self awareness when it comes to openly complaining and worrying, because it really does influence young women and functions as fear mongering. Men are never going to let women be content with aging, it's something we should avoid publicly supporting (even if that's how we feel) because it's fucking ridiculous to think that life ends at 30. It's time for women to collectively get a grip and stop being a bad influence on younger women by being so male identified and believing their bullshit about age.

No. 575164

File: 1593124447242.jpg (29.37 KB, 564x542, 1590181489188.jpg)

Saw here that someone I used to see at concerts as a teen, that I haven't seen since, was murdered and had turned into this sex worker personality. I feel so fucking weird and awful, I wasn't even actual friends with them even back then but the memories I have with them are some I often look back on with joy? Like, if I were to contact some old friends, they would laugh and 1000% remember this person and wonder what happened to them. I just thought we all grew up maybe a little fucked up but this is heartbreaking, that shit must've been so scary. I can't even discuss this with anyone rn because I am not in constant touch with the people from those times and I sure as hell do not wanna come across as gossipy, or crass.

No. 575168

>>575161
is happiness the point of life? so many people say their goal in life is to "be happy," but how can one expect a single emotion, happiness, to stay stable for a long enough period of time that it becomes a state of being? to become "a happy person," how much time should be spent being happy vs. unhappy? it may be arbitrary.

happiness is overrated and ceases to exist without the lows of sadness, frustration, and anger. just continue to move forward in pursuit of progression. personal progression and understanding. the world is uncertain but at the very least, use the fact that you continue to move forward through time as motivation to begin exploring the self.

No. 575172

>>575168
Happiness is not necessarily an emotion, at least that's not how these people refer to it I think, it's more like a descriptor for your life as a whole. You know when you go to a cow thread and think, "what a sad, pathetic life"? A happy life is a life you're proud of.

No. 575177

>>575168
>the lows of sadness, frustration, and anger
If all progression brings is mostly these emotions with only a little bit of happiness peppered in that's as easily taken away with the swiftness, then perhaps progress is the real meme. Tons of people not progressing are sitting high hog right now, maybe they've got the right philosophy.

No. 575178

Youngfags listen here, I CAN NOT WAIT TO GET OLD

No. 575180

I wiped out on my bike while drunkenly taking bottles to the depot for more booze money. As far as everyone has been concerned, I stopped drinking months ago. I had to come clean to my bf about my secret drinking. His family and my family keep checking in on me since I bonked my head pretty bad and I feel horrible that everyone is pampering me because I decided to pound back vodka; even though I promised I'd stop ages ago.
This isn't the first time I've had an accident and had to come clean over my drinking. So far the only thing that works is to keep all money out of my hands. My bf is wonderful and willing to responsibly hold onto our money for me, but I'm ashamed that it had to come to this. Everytime I get my hands on the smallest amount of money it turns into drink money. I've paid in all quarters.
I'm wondering if I should get more help, but he thinks that as long as I can keep my wallet empty I should be able to stay sober. I hope it's as simple as that.

No. 575181

>>575178
Fleabag is so good

No. 575184

>>575180
Do you have any responsibilities to put your money towards besides booze? Cause I don't get the impression you're the most mature person with having to return bottles for money and biking them to a store instead of driving (although I'm half happy about that). Everyone's babying you, why not take their kindness as an opportunity to better yourself? Someday you're gonna wipe out again but no one will be around to dust off your ass and give a shit. Don't take it for granted, and don't just talk about how sorry you are.

No. 575186

>>575180
I am almost a month sober after a few years of a pretty bad drinking problem. I hope you can get to the place you want to be. Every day is still a struggle but I feel immensely relieved every day I choose not to drink.

No. 575188

>>575069
Put the rage and energy into something positive and start lifting weights, you could even take up a martial art.

No. 575190

>>575180
You need help. It's completely unrealistic to pretend you will never get ahold of or find some cash to buy alcohol in the future. You're an addict, you need help from a professional to get through it.

I find it especially concerning that your bf is dissuading you from getting any help whatsoever but is perfectly happy to hold onto ALL of your money forever.

No. 575193

>>575190
I don't think her bf is disuading her from getting help. He is probably unaware of how bad the situation actually might be.

No. 575194

>>575162
I feel like people, women included, are allowed to have goals for their life or things they hope to achieve at various ages. Being single and childless at 30 could feel like the end of the world to a woman that's important to outside of being 'male identified'. If a young women doesn't feel that way because they have their own aspirations and views then they aren't going to suddenly start feeling that way because they see another woman has different goals or expectations for life then they do. I don't want marriage or kids but I can understand people feeling stressed or upset over it if they really do and they thought or wanted it to happen by a certain age etc.

No. 575196

ohhhhhhhhhh my god. just remembered when i had just turned 19 and had a mental breakdown during my lunch break and my mother actually fucking called some random bitch who worked there and told her I couldn't come back in because i was cutting myself
WHY would you say that whywouldyousaythatwhywhywhyWHY

No. 575203

I wish it was easier to be happy but I can't knowing my dad lives in terrible conditions. I hate being surrounded by middle class people and i hate having everything i have because my dad lives like shit. i wish i could do more for him, i wish i wasnt stuck studying, i wish i didnt live in such an shitty country. i wish my dad didnt feel like he cant have nice things because he is poor. i wish i wasnt so full of hatred and anger but i am, because hes a good man and he deserves better and he has given me everything but i cant give nothing back to him. i love my dad so much and i hate that hes so poor and so lonely. i wish i had someone that understands how i feel. i just want to give love to the world but i cant all the time, i cant stop being angry and sad

No. 575204

I wish people valued me enough to not blatantly and obviously ignore me.

I asked my friend to hang out tonight, he said he was out of town. I ask where he's at, no response. Still active, and now has just interacted with a group chat we're both in. So okay, you're intentionally ignoring me, do you really need to make it obvious to me by doing that? Is it weird or out of line to ask someone where they are if they say they're out of town? It seems really rude to ignore a direct and simple question like that?

No. 575213

>>575204
As much as it feels cathartic to call people out for their bullshit, it won't get you want you want in this case. For whatever his reasons, he's choosing to put you on the back burner so pressing the issue would only make him withdraw from you more. The solution here is to back off, and maybe make yourself a little less available and hang out with other friends if you have them. What you're going through is shitty make no mistake.

No. 575214

>>575203
It might count little, but I totally get how you feel. I feel the same with my mom, she’s currently alone with no money in a ugly situation and I’m here, living my life far away studying. I want to make her happy and make her feel safe and calm. She doesn’t deserve how she’s living and I love her so much, I hope I will be able to support her soon…

No. 575217

my dad called me blaming me for breaking his stuff but i didnt do it, and i feel so bad that he doesnt trust me and i know hes upset because the things he worked for so hard are broken but it wasnt my fault. im so sad i just tried to help but hes blaming me. why is he blaming me? i didnt do anything i just wanted to help why do i do anything at all? im only going to college because i want to help him but whats the point if he doesnt trust me? whats the point of anything. im so sad

No. 575220

this random ass fucker is just some power tripping asshole. fucken dickhead needs to fuck off with giving me shit when we dont even know each other and esp when i dont fucken work in his department.

No. 575226

>>575162
Fwiw I feared turning 30. I'm 32 now and realize how stupid it was. Nothing changed, I honestly don't even really look different from my mid 20s.

No. 575228

>>575226
I'm honestly looking forward to my 30's. Everyone I know who is significantly older than me says it's about 100x easier than your 20's.

No. 575250

I'm starting to regret bringing aches and pains and medical problems with a friend of mine.
He's starting to act genuinely concerned when I say I have this or that scheduled and it'a starting to freak me out.
Like, it must be nice to be a guy and have a problem so doctors actually take you seriously and are able to tell you what's wrong with you. But I'm used to getting a bunch of tests done and then doctors go "we don't see anything abnormal, have you tried taking Aleve?"

No. 575252

>>575217
Your dad is trying to push his frustrations and anger on you. Mine did the same when I lived with him.
I know you must want him to trust you and give you the love and respect you deserve, but if he's incapable of understanding and letting go of things breaking and has to look for a scapegoat he's most likely emotionally unable to be the father you want him to be.
Try to convert the sadness into anger and use it to achieve what you need and go to college, you can become a better person than he's and the first step is to emotionally detach from him. Good luck, you deserve better.

No. 575270

File: 1593139767716.gif (1.6 MB, 210x306, tenor (2).gif)

I've been friends with my ex for almost ten years. We dated back in 2011 for a few months, broke up on somewhat amicable terms. I thought he was gay cause he wouldn't touch my puss and we never fucked. He's bi but he never really had sustained relationships with men. In short he's got a lot of mental problems with really bad image issues with diagnosed anorexia. In and out of mediocre jobs, etc.

He's been living with an older woman for a few years now. Recently he's been contacting me again, but has really upped the ante in the past year after I broke it off with my ex of almost 4 years. This older woman does a lot for him because he doesn't drive and he's not meaningfully employed. It says they're 'engaged' on facebook and usually they're posting sappy pics together, but no posts lately. He's been going behind her back to echeat and say how terrible their relationship is. He's sent me nudes and has been flirting with me. He has no balls to dump her cause he'd have no place to go. What's extra gross is the fact that I'm definitely not the only woman he attempts this with. When he has an emotional spiral he'll post on facebook begging for people to talk, and sometimes he'll message me to ask if I'm around. If I don't respond immediately, he'll go to the next available woman who will give him positive attention. So that if I eventually answer, he doesn't respond, cause he's caught up in talking to the other person he solicited. He only wants me whenever it's convenient to suit his needs, he doesn't give a flying fuck and it bothers me.

I see him for what he is, which is a user. I suspect he's trying to gas me up and get on my sympathetic side so he can monkey branch away from this woman when the breakup inevitably happens, but I ain't supporting his ass. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with this woman, she seems like a nice lady who's probably sick of taking care of an emotionally needy manbaby who's almost 30 but still needs to be coddled and driven to his retail job. If what he's saying about their relationship being strained is to be believed. He's such a vampire.

No. 575291

>>575270
Just block him? You’re an enabler for entertaining this bullshit.

No. 575293

>>575252
Thank you for replying to me, anon. I could tell he was taking out his frustration on me, but he's very paranoid and has terrible trust issues but he trusts me most of the time, he knows he has to trust me because I'm the only person he has and I'm too much like him. I love him and I'm hurt too that his shit broke because he's been poor his entire life, like dirt poor, and he never buys things for himself. I usually ignore him when he gets mad at me because he stops being mad soon enough, just like it happens to me (and yes, I know this is wrong and that I shouldn't take my anger on people which I've been consciously stopping myself from doing) but today I was crying too because of his things breaking. I'm going to college and him and my mom are supporting me financially but it pisses me off that I can't do the same for them, and that he's blaming me for something I didn't do, but now that I'm less sad I understand why he reacted the way he did and I'll just stop talking to him for a while until he starts missing me and calls.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me anon, I'm sorry you had to go through shit like that, I hope you're doing better now

No. 575296

File: 1593147269636.jpeg (46.82 KB, 417x280, 786712FC-A28D-446E-8FAF-F9BF24…)

I’ve lost like 15 pounds since quarantine began but I still have a lot of visceral fat around my midsection. My actual ass looks pretty good but the love handles make it look terrible. I’ve been eating cleanly too but I still look terrible.

No. 575298

It seems like with each day, social media makes me more grateful for those few bastions of anonymity online, like imageboards. As much as the chans are full of sexist pieces of shit, at least I can go there and just talk about whatever I want. I can talk about my interests, I can talk about a stupid cartoon character I find hot, I can get political, I can make fucked up jokes.

I think getting too tied up in imageboard culture can begin to affect a person negatively. But, on the flipside, on an internet where your "real" identity must be known, and where you're likely to get dogpiled for going against the grain, imageboards can give me a little bit of fucked up sanity.

No. 575299

>>575270
Eeew. He sounds nearly exactly like my Ex-friend’s bf. Except my friend let him talk her into polyamory.
Friend left the state so her bf found himselF another girl that looked creepily like her.
He accidentally knocked her up They almost aborted but didn’t. Kid has a ton of medical issues.
A few years later he learns friend is in abusive relationship. he convinces friend to move with him and since she is bi, tells her she should also love his baby momma.
Friend moves in then basically immediately says she is asexual and won’t be physical with either of them Friend constantly complains how all her pay check goes to buying “their” kid insulin. She sleeps on a couch, and on her days off bf cries about needing rides to and from work.
The baby momma stays home playing final fantasy all day, saying she isn’t mentally prepared to take her own child to the clinic so friend takes the kid to doctor’s appointments.
Friend pays most of the bills,, goes to the grocery store, and is the only one who drives. Her bf literally had a panic attack last time he went for groceries with her bc she was “pressuring” him to make too many choices and it was reminding him of his “abusive” mom.
Other anon is right. Just block him. Some people aren’t worth the time

No. 575301

>>575296
2 questions:

How quickly did you lose the weight?
Are you working out?

Losing too quickly can mess with your skin elasticity, and not building/toning muscle can make you look skinny fat. Losing weight is obnoxiously complicated

No. 575302

>>575299
Holy fuck, what the fuck?

No. 575303

>>575296
You're comparing yourself to your end goal and making yourself feel shitty. Don't do that, compare yourself to how you looked when you started out. You're already doing this with your pretty good looking ass and it shows.

No. 575304

>>575302
Yeeeaaah…it’s pretty fucked up. I lost all respect for her when her mom went into a coma. She didn’t come to see her before she died bc “He said ‘we’ can’t afford for me to take a vacation “
A few weeks after her mom passed, she was so upset that he magnanimously /s “allowed” her to take some days off work to play video games with his baby momma.
I think he just didn’t want her back with family and friends bc she would likely not want to go back after seeing she had people here that won’t keep her around for her paycheck.

No. 575307

>>575304
I will never understand how a person can allow themselves to be used like this. What sort of reasoning could she possibly have for wanting to stay in that situation? I'd rather live alone than live with a mooch, let alone two.

No. 575310

It's been in the back of my mind for the last year but I still can't understand why I used to get so disgusted whenever I had sex with my ex. Whenever he touched me, I would get so angry I felt the urge to kick and slap him away. There wasn't any issues that could of caused that aside from when I lost my libido after taking antidepressants. I've wanted to talk to people about it but I'm unsure if anyone could relate or understand what was going on.

No. 575316

File: 1593152190276.jpg (19.91 KB, 567x367, image0.jpg)

I hate to be like "uwu so smol" but I have the body of a child and I'm scared no one will ever be attracted to me except for pedos and freaks like that.

No. 575323

>>575310
I can relate to this. It's a fear of intimacy and vulnerability. Fear often translates into disgust. You have to learn to love yourself and feel safe in your body.

No. 575328

File: 1593155653222.jpg (17.14 KB, 770x401, 351ab84.jpg)

I'm trying to be positive today but the lack of sleep is killing me. I also swanted to learn front end web dev stuff but I have 0 motivation to do so I feel worse.

Pic not related

No. 575340

>>575093
>>575095
>>575104
Thanks so much for you replies anons, I really loved reading them. Gave me a new perspective. I guess because I was talking to my friend about my csa and terrible romantic relationships she immediately jumped onto that and deduced I must have bpd when it's probably not that.

No. 575344

I have such sour feelings about fucking my ex after we broke up because it was so shitty. He's so sexually repressed that he wont talk about sex outside of the act, and when I asked him for foreplay he'd just be like "uhh but idk how!?" despite me sending instructional videos and pdfs of how to finger, how to eat out. I mean he'd try, and he'd be shit at it, and I'd have to ask him every time if I wanted any (which usually wasn't worth it), and tried to excuse it with being a virgin before meeting me, but I dated plenty of virgins and they ended up amazing because they were receptive to feedback and loved to learn. He wasn't demanding anything in bed either, so it wasn't self centred. But also it was incredibly self centred because outside of the act he'd be all "uwu what's sex?" which sure, some people are prudes, except it came at the cost of me getting pleasure, even when I'm so fucking easy to please.

Anyway we did it, next to no foreplay but OK I just wanted penetration and…he lasted 2 minutes. I just felt humiliated and used as he got up to go clean himself and I went through all the bother of seducing him and for what? To be used? I'm more deeply disappointed that I allowed a lack of foreplay in our time, and sessions like that COULD happen, and the attitude was "oh well, bad luck, we'll try another time" but seeing it as it was once I was out of the relationship made me so ashamed.
I also used to masturbate after sex because I rarely got satisfaction out of it. I liked the intimacy aspect of it, but isn't that fucked? I figured I'd give him time to open up sex wise, but after a year not much changed.

>>572022
Hate to say not all men and I get you're hurt so I won't, but the red flag was already there with him confessing while having a gf. If he's trembling and wants to express himself further, why's he ignoring you now you've rejected him? I'll be honest, I think he was just hoping for either a sidepiece or a new person to hop onto.

No. 575349

>>575316
Dont worry, you dont

No. 575377

"Anon, I know you've blocked me everywhere and said you don't ever want to talk to me, but I'm messaging you from this new number to tell you that I've booked a room in a hotel for the two of us to spend the night there, of course not for sex haha no sex at all, I'm definitely not expecting you to suck my dick on that bed, give me a last chance, please?"
Someone remove my number from this fucker's brain please.

No. 575384

>>575377
>booked a hotel room
>but not for sex !
Lmao.

No. 575386

>>575291
Sorry does your bf cheat with egirls? Even if anon blocks him he goes to other women, so no, he's just a shit person.

No. 575402

>>575304
i'll never stop being amazed by how people can be manipulated out of their dignity and paychecks by…adult babies?
it's easy to speak from the comfort of my screen but god damn if i won't let that baby die.

No. 575407

File: 1593176288891.jpeg (94.17 KB, 750x805, 75B2DE04-2A89-4E0B-802A-B98F07…)

I hate that every time I draw or paint something I think looks good I just stare at it till it looks deformed and just start to absolutely hate it. Can I please draw a thing I will like once

No. 575436

Antifa and Black Lives Matter are two organizations that really taint morally good stances. I wish more people saw it like that. I know a lot of people that agree with the phrases, but don't think they're organizations. I know people who just now only see the phrases as the organizations and can't differentiate between when the literal and objective sense. It sucks how politics divides people and they don't realize it.

No. 575452

My ‘best’friend paid another person to design website for her and now that she doesn’t like the finished product she wants me to fix it FOR FREE. What the fuck. She knows I do freelancing, she knows I’m struggling rn. But nooo she chose another designer over me and she even paid him more than I would’ve asked for. If she thinks I suck that much, why bother crawling back to me? Should’ve just paid another person to do it again smh

No. 575462

>>575452
If you don't say no unless she pays you a fair wage, I don't respect you ever again anon. I'm warning you.

No. 575464

>>575462
Thanks anon. I actually sent her a link to shopify and wished her good luck. (After like a million excuses, but still…) I hope you don’t lose respect for me anon

No. 575469

>>575436
Neither of the two you mentioned are organizations. Do more research before spouting bullshit.

No. 575470

>>575436

disagree. i think anyone with a basic sense of how nuance and the world really works wouldn't see an entire movement like BLM as "tainted" just because of individual assholes.
the public hasn't extended that same amount of hate towards individual killer cops vs all cops as killers as much as it has individual rioters vs the entire BLM movement being a riot.

large scale movements and organizations, especially civil rights movements, or political organizations that don't have a defined "leader" per se (antifa) are extremely disorganized, the most organization you'll find in the US is by a city or state level, and even then it's community organizing so it's still all over the place. Anyone who has been on the streets will tell you things can go from peaceful to violent just from someone being pushed into the street or a waterbottle falling.

To define an entire movement as a riot or wrong just because of a "few bad apples" but not extending that same judgement towards a nationwide police force with much more levels of organization and what should be a higher standard of accountability is bs.

the movement isn't tainted. white america perception might be, but if it's from judging a loosely organized grassroots movement for being loosely organized and having infiltrators/those looking to just start shit with no consequences take advantage of the situation, it lacks nuance.

No. 575499

>>575436
I fucking hate how Americans pissed all over antifa. Saying that antifa/blm aren't organizations anywhere in the world and 10 seconds on Google would have taught you that.

No. 575505

I hate how much I procrastinate. It's literally fuckinf insane and I hate myself for it.

No. 575506

File: 1593194000530.gif (892.68 KB, 220x202, 4E4CBB0C-5802-47CA-9F1E-0E8F27…)


No. 575507

>>575469
blm is. idk about antifa but with blm i support both organization and the cause. there's a nationwide org, called black lives matter, and they have chapters in major cities…

No. 575544

The only thing I'm really passionate about is likely never going to make me money and will probably only ever just be a hobby. I'd be okay with this if I could find a job that actually pays reasonably, doesn't take up all of my time and I don't totally hate, but that hasn't happened yet. I'm almost 30 and just kinda want to off myself tbh. Feels like I'm never going to be content with my life.

No. 575550

>>575544

Anon, I feel the same way, you are not alone.

No. 575551

>>575507
BLM is a movement, there are most likely chapters in cities that host meetings but there is no one central organization. Just like antifa you can't exactly go talk to the 'head' as there's several chapter leaders.

No. 575560

>>575544
Yeah, I'm going through the same despair. I know what I want but it's not going to make me rich and working takes a lot of my time and energy.

No. 575564

File: 1593202636096.gif (3.41 KB, 80x80, 6D900771-23C1-46E2-86D7-68413D…)

i'm truly retarded. can't wait to become dirt.

No. 575577

File: 1593204931578.png (306.69 KB, 370x505, 1589427072465.png)

I cut my hair because it was falling a lot as always and cutting it allows me to control it better.
However, I accidentally cut it too short. Not only I feel ugly, but I feel like my boyfriend thinks it's ugly as well. He said I looked cute (as in, "baby" cute, not "pretty" cute), but honestly I just think he was pitying me. It doesn't help that I put on a lot of weight since the beginning of the quarantine.
I just wish I went into a coma and woke up when this mess of a pandemic was over, and preferably with my old body. At least I would be useless without being a burden to my parents and partner.

No. 575579

I want to get help so fucking bad but not only do I not have any money or insurance, but the last time I went they didn't even help me. Fuck American hospitals man. I need help but nobody will help me.

No. 575580

These two teenagers keep sending in photo orders at work that are creeping out my coworkers. I was wondering what they were and when I looked up the order history it was stuff like them photoshopping themselves into panels from Killing Stalking and a bunch of Hanako-kun memes. Dunno if I should tell them to stop because I really don’t feel like explaining to my coworkers they like some gay Korean rape comic

No. 575581

I feel weird being possessive over friends, and I guess on a fundamental level I know that it's good that my partner gets along with my friends, but I don't have any friends of my own now. My partner has friends of their own, but I don't. We share almost everything. I want friends of my own.

I don't wanna sound like some raging abusive bitch by being like "hey can I have my own friends please? Can you back off from this one person?" but it's setting me off and I wish it wouldn't. A small part of me regrets introducing them to one another.

No. 575582

>>575564
I love this post
Me too anon

No. 575590

File: 1593211587503.gif (74.91 KB, 480x362, giphy_s.gif)

I let an acquaintance crash at my place last month for a bit over a week when she was in a rough spot. While she stayed here she brought her dog, who was genuinely a really sweet young female. Very well behaved and affectionate. I even have this video I took of me rubbing her snout, she seemed so content and relaxed. Never had dogs myself, but they always seem to like me.

Haven't seen neither her nor the dog since because we haven't hung out since she got a new place.
She texted me the other day to let me know that the dog passed away. I wanted to ask why, because she was a young adult and not a senior. Not a breed with weird health problems. The timing is just suspicious to me, but she hasn't said and I'm too chickenshit to ask how. Maybe she really just did find her dead in the morning. I'm just sad that I'll never see that sweet dog again. And I really, really, really hope this girl is being honest and didn't do anything to hurt the dog or give it away with a cover up story (I don't know her that well but her family has hinted that she's a liar about certain things). Guess it's just my mind processing grief, and wanting to believe there's not a natural reason for this to have happened.

No. 575594

>>575580
What’s your work?

No. 575616

>>574081
Update: I told him and he said we should stop talking as to not make things weird. This hurts.

No. 575627

my boyfriend just told me he feels dirty after having sex (with me) and he regrets it…that he enjoys it but he thinks sex should be “banned” i feel so hurt i don’t know what to say or think

No. 575628

File: 1593215423125.png (4.25 KB, 238x212, hihi.png)

I never feel lonely no matter how alone I am and I honestly love it. I've heard about so many people who cannot cope with the loneliness but to me it's a blessing. It gives me an invisible feeling and I also get to enjoy the things that are important to me and do whatever I like without worrying about others. It's just me and my head. I could easily live the rest of my life alone forever with no problem at all.

No. 575629

I saw a statistic going around where it says men are having less sex now.

I get it. The way guys act you would think they were sabotaging themselves on purpose so that they WON'T get laid.

>one word replies like "wyd" "ye"

>immediately going into the conversation talking about sex when you first meet people
>ghosting women and knowing damn well they will be back in a week trying to get sex


What's the point of disappearing/ignoring women you're trying to fuck? I would get it if they were going to go and stay go but they always come back asking for sex.

No. 575632

I asked my stepdad if he could write a letter of recommendation for me so I could qualify for a scholarship for an online cert course. Not like it's for a job or a uni acceptance, and I need one last minute. They let me know today that I need these by tomorrow. Figured it would be less hassle than bothering multiple friends and coworkers who seem legitimately busy, it's not like I gave them advanced notice. I got some people to do it but I needed one more.
Turns out my stepdad, who makes triple what I do as a project manager, can't even formulate a letter. Grammatical errors everywhere and makes me sound like an old hag with lines like "Back when anon was a younger, college age women." Wtf. The letter is rambling and he doesn't even say who he is or what his relationship is to me. He hands me his laptop after typing two bad paragraphs and tells me to fix it. Then he wanted me to dictate how to format it. It's so half-assed that I asked him if he looked up how to write such a letter? He told me "No cause I don't give a fuck."

Is it bad that I just want to create a fake person? I mean I technically already did with the way I had to redo that letter to make it sound like it came from someone articulate and who gives a fuck about me.

No. 575636

>>575628
Being alone is fine when it's your choice to be.

No. 575638

>>575629
I don't think it's a conscious effort. It goes like
>ask for sex with woman you just met
>woman obviously says no
>okay, no sex to be found here, interest lost
then a week later
>do same thing with other women
>shot down again
>wonder if that other one changed her mind yet
>better try again with the same low effort wyd text at 2am

No. 575642

I'm addicted to this Japanese ASMR channel that has a really soft spoken, pretty girl doing ear whispering and such. I wish I had a cute girlfriend to do my hair and massage my shoulders and such. Being a lesbian and trying to survive in the puddle of a dating pool is absolute hell

No. 575644

>>575629
I have meet really ugly and annoying men that would get laid, so honestly if you can't get laid then you aren't even trying.

No. 575654

>>575632
Just write it yourself and put your stepfather's name on it. I had to do that once for an undergraduate honors program.

No. 575675

I think I've become asexual.

For the record, I'm 30 years old, married and we have a young daughter. Before she was born and in my younger years, I loved sex. Even when I was fucking depressed as hell I still loved sex. After my daughter was born, I believed my sex drive would come back - and it did for a while. But we had a whole load of emotional problems between us that really affected me and wore me down. Somewhere amongst that, I stopped wanting sex.

I've honestly believed that you can't just become asexual when you used to be a very sexual person. But I've read cases where it's happened and it's eating me up. Mostly because I love my husband and don't want to lose him but I don't want to keep him in a sexless marriage. He loves sex, and he didn't marry an asexual woman. For the past 18 months and with each passing day, the idea of never having sex again is 100% fine with me. And I don't fucking get it. I don't.

Why is the human body so fucking stupid? It's almost like I did the thing where I made a baby, so my body is like "Nah fam, you can put it away now. Have you considered using your spare time for other activities now?" And suddenly reading every book I own and getting more sleep sounds WAY better than a sweaty session of the dance with no pants.

No. 575679

>>575675
>But we had a whole load of emotional problems between us that really affected me and wore me down. Somewhere amongst that, I stopped wanting sex.

It's probably this and not the baby. I was in a long term relationship and thought I was okay with not fucking. Nope, turns out my ex was a giant manbaby who I wasn't attracted to anymore out of resentment and him never attempting to be romantic or put me in a mood that wasn't disgust. When I exited that relationship I loved having sex again.
Not saying you have to ditch the guy who you had a child with, but it seems like there's tensions between you that you may want to explore. Maybe with a couple's therapist if you could.

No. 575681

>>575627
How old are both of you? Were both/either of you raised in some kind of oppressive culture/religion? What does he mean by "Banned" - banned for everyone until marriage or something? Humans have been having sex way before marriage was invented.

How do you feel when he tells you things like this? Even if he's saying that it's making him feel dirty, it's still hurting your feelings, and that's not cool.

No. 575687

>>575629
Cuz their dicks broke from masturbating

No. 575691

All these assholes need to stop getting into fights below my window. Do these fuckers think the 50th time they yell "you're a fucking bitch" the other person is gonna think oh damn AM i a fucking bitch?

No. 575693

>>575594
Walgreens, so we usually look at all the photo files before printing them. There was one with one of the girls in front of the Killing Stalking guy swinging a baseball bat and that made my coworker really upset.

No. 575696

>>575693
Lol your coworker should get over their self and just do their job, they're just pictures and you're not the moral police

No. 575707

>>575696
why can't the kids print them at home tho that is weird

No. 575713

I'm white but have half native siblings and my sister did my hair in braids with beautiful beaded barrettes she made and of course my most woke sjw acquaintance called me out for posting the pic. Not like my sister was taking pics so she could sell her merch and needed someone with long hair or anything. Social media is retarded.

No. 575726

>>575713
Dang anon I hate SJWs like that. it's not like you were wearing a chief headdress. I personally don't think cultural appropriation is a thing as long as the person is respectful, especially in this case where you're just sharing part of the tradition plus it's literally just braids. lol

No. 575728

Nothing much has been going on around lolcow lately, right?

No. 575736

>>575728
What do you mean, anon?

No. 575756

I just found out that I gained four more kilos in quarantine. I just fucking hate myself. Why can't I lose weight and be skinny and look hot. I am now 5'3 and weight 145 lbs.
My brother is constantly bragging about how he lost 6 kilos easily and my parents are constantly telling me that I am too fat and need to lose weight. I am trying not to eat more than 1400 calories and exercising 3-4 days every week. But it doesn't help.

No. 575758

I made a new friend for the first time in almost 4 years. I want to talk to them more but I am literally so behind in my life socially and rusty in my behavior that I say dumb things or weird cringy fodder when I dont know what else to say. And I am not like that! People dont usually intimidate me but for some reason this does! I dont want to come off overly eager to talk to them either. I guess I'm just starved for friendship so now I'm weak to possible rejection from someone I want to befriend. It's just pathetic.

We really do vibe and they're just as lonely as me so I guess it's ok. I really do hope we can be friends because I really miss talking to people again. I miss company. I was never a social person in the past but I still had friends but they drifted away and for the past 4-5 years I've just been focusing on my career and I stopped trying to keep up socially. I've also been hurt by toxic friends which is why I let them drift away. It's a clean slate now so I hope this new friend will be nice. And maybe after covid I can actually have someone to hang out with.

No. 575769

I never go on /pt/ because I'm not interested in any of the cows there but I went to see what has been up with onision and I saw the thread about older cows or whatever and I saw posts about some girl named Ann Frank and fuck I think I triggered myself really badly because I cannot stop puking anything I eat, I cannot focus on anything other than her because she reminds me way too much of what I went through, just minus drugs and i feel so bad i wanna die i was trying so hard to avoid topics like that online to avoid retraumatizing myself i really was and i just read so much awful shit about her and i feel so fucking panicked and triggered and i seriously cut myself even though i havent in years anons fuck she reminds me too much of myself i hate it i feel so bad for her i really cannot stop crying i hate men who take advantage of obviously fucked kids whyd it have to happen to me

No. 575775

>>575769
Anon, it's okay. Try to remember you're not in that place anymore. You're safe now and you don't have to worry about what happened in the past. About that girl, I haven't read that thread but everyone has to figure things out in their own way. It's useless getting upset over things in other people's lives because the only who can really change their situation is themselves.

No. 575777

File: 1593250175358.jpg (52.48 KB, 692x727, EaZKpdfXQAAbjkC~2.jpg)

I'm so fucking bummed that Cry turned out to be a sexual predator. He was one of the few LPers I liked, because he wasn't loud or obnoxious and he didn't try too hard to be funny. Now everything he did is retroactively tainted and I can no longer enjoy it. I'm angry on behalf of the women he creeped on and I hope he gets what's coming to him.

I hate that I can't enjoy content creators (particularly men) without worrying that they're secretly psychotic perverts. Why do so many famous people destroy their careers for sex? They could have consensual sex with damn near anyone they wanted, yet they always go for the few people they shouldn't, like minors or their employees.

No. 575782

>>575775
Thank you a lot anon, im trying really hard to calm myself down i started watching some stupid youtube videos to relax, put some bandaid on the cuts, i just feel awful beung reminded of my past and how many other girls suffer through it and i cant help them in any way, your reply made me ground myself a little, thank you

No. 575787

>>575782
Sometimes I'll inadvertently read some some story involving child abuse and it will fuck me up for days. I used to want to volunteer at a crisis center but then I realized that'd probably just make me want to die or commit a murder. I can't even begin to imagine how the survivors must feel. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better now.

No. 575797

>>575782
No problem. It‘s hard for me to see people in those kinds of situations as well but all you can really do is hope that they’ll eventually found a way out if it. If they do or don’t, it’s their own journey they have to take. And you’re not the person you used to be and being able to recognise damaging behaviour in others is a sign of your growth.

No. 575802

>>575675
I thought I became asexual around 2 years ago. Turns out I just wasn’t attracted to my (now ex) boyfriend anymore.

No. 575814

>>575675
I reached that point in both of my long term relationships, felt like I could happily go the rest of my life without sex… but as soon as we broke up my sex drive kicked back in, both times.

No. 575816

Before I met my gf's friends, she informed me that one of them was almost definitely cheating on his gf w/ another girl in the friendgroup (they were caught by another person in the group), and had said that he wished his gf would get snakebit and die (she does a lot of work outside). Naturally I hated that and asked why he wasn't ousted from the group and she just kinda shrugged. They're all a bunch of kweer libfems so of course they tolerate this shit while paying lip service to the feminist movement. Fast forward several months when we meet in person for the first time, I don't pay him much attention but am polite. He's an annoying soyboy with ugly greasy hair and an anime catgirl fixation. Any assumption you make about him is probably correct. There's a christmas secret santa, I decline to join because I'm paired with him. The group scrambles to find a gift for their precious catgirl so his feelings won't be hurt by my dyke cruelty. Despite my withdrawal I am gifted a slinky, kek. I continue to be polite up until the girl he is cheating with compares our hair and I laugh and say that my hair is much cleaner. Cunty I know but his hair looks like it houses rats and crows. The entire group gets assmad at me and is passive aggressive and rude until I eventually leave the groupchat. Me and gf moved away so now we no longer have to see these tumblr warrior losers but we're going back in the fall to visit and I'm going to be stuck in the house with my in-laws (who are lovely but have no wifi) while my gf goes off to visit Sir Ahegao Hoodie and his loyal mistress. What do I even fucking do anons? Hold my ground and isolate for my sanity or bite my tongue and play nice so as not to ruin my gf's visit home? We've talked about it numerous times but she's reluctant to acknowledge that I have a damn point in my dislike of him (as well as some really shitty actions of some other people in the group) and I don't see the point of continuing the subject with her further.

Fuck am I pissed, fuck this gay earth.

No. 575817

>>575816
If she's visiting family and friends and you're mostly just tagging along then skip the trip altogether and do your own thing?

No. 575820

>>575816
Is there proof of him cheating? I 100% believe you that he is, but has no one tried to expose him for it to his gf? Is she still totally in the dark? My cynical side suspects that if he did get busted, he'd probably come up with some sob story or come out as trans (the whole catgirl fixation tells me he's heading that way anyway) to deflect and she'll take him back so as not to look like the bad guy amongst that friend group. I'd still expose his ass anyway, along with all your gf's shitty friends for keeping his dirty little secret. Also, what exactly is your gf protecting him for?

No. 575823

>>575817
I truly do love my in-laws and am excited to see them (especially my adorable nieces), also my gf has anxiety and I would never want to make her travel alone.

>>575820
No solid tangible proof that I'm aware of, and I believe the gf is in the dark. I truly believe they're all simply too cowardly to do anything about it and too stuck in their ways to disrupt their friend group. If push comes to shove I will state my reasons for hating this assclown in front of god and everybody but I don't want to ruin the trip unless I have to.
he headed down that road several months ago.

No. 575831

>>575823
And I'm guessing if you somehow tipped the gf off anonymously, they'd all know it was you? This situation really sucks, but tbh I'd question why my gf even wants to be friends with these scumbags anyway. I get not wanting to be the one who starts all the drama, but I've been cheated on before. And if I found out that all my friends knew about it and didn't tell me, it'd be even more devastating than the cheating itself

No. 575836

>>575823
Are you partly worried to let her travel alone because her actions seem to say that she's weirdly ok with cheating? And if she cheats her friends will cover up for her too

No. 575840

>>575836
Nah.

>>575831
Okay so I caved and messaged her about it and we hashed it out. Apparently in the 2~ years since this happened, the creep FINALLY apologized and broke up w/ the gf and has "changed" and is welcomed in the group with open arms. She says that we're all friends with people who occasionally do bad things, and that's… true, I've been friends with a few regrettable individuals myself although all the bad ones have been cut off by now. These are people she's known since middle school and is reluctant to let go because they've been there for her in hard times. While I find them repugnant, I'm not going to hold it against her personally. She's apologized to me several times for the whole situation and says she feels terrible for allowing it to go on for as long as it did. I've made it clear that my feelings have not changed and she accepts that and doesn't expect me to. I'm considering the matter closed but not forgotten or forgiven, and have made it clear that if they want to attempt to interact with me, then I expect an apology first for their incredibly rude behavior following a very normal reaction to a cheating creep. However I'm still stuck in the shitty position of being bored af and stuck at home while avoiding these freaks.

No. 575842

>>575840
Your girl has apologised to you several times, you're talking about the guy needing to apologise to you next.. 'it's not forgotten or forgiven' All seems so unnecessary and dramatic.

You are not the one who was cheated on so why is this all about you? Let your gf visit her family without all the drama. You've got no reason to interact with these people if you don't want to. So what if you had a 'rude interaction' with them because you called him greasy first? You sound just as freakish as they do.

No. 575851

>>575840
If you want an apology from them you're going to have to explain your angle and ask for one, people aren't mind readers, they will just think you're a dick if you keep being cold to them for some reason that they have probably forgotten. Remember they're only interacting with you because they're trying to support your girlfriend, fighting with them only affects her in the end.

No. 575855

>>575787
>Sometimes I'll inadvertently read some some story involving child abuse and it will fuck me up for days.
Same anon. I read a lot of true crime shit and the ones involving abused/trafficked children really hits me in the feels. My own childhood was abusive, but it could have been much worse. It almost feels like survivor's guilt reading about kids whose lives were eerily similar, but either died or were abused even worse.

No. 575866

every girl around my age that i meet has a kid or two already. it's super weird. i want to make friendships but i don't think i'd be able to be friends with a mother as long as i'm not one. i'm only 23 though, but even most of the 18 year olds i meet have kids.

No. 575880

My fucking god I'm so, so tired of 2020 wokeness. I hate it. I hate all of it. I hate virtue signaling white BLM faggots who think they're ~not like other whiteys~. I hate tranny bootlicking handmaidens who are willing to throw any woman under the bus for men in dresses and trample over gay rights. I hate the constant fandom discourse crying wolf claiming that someone shipping a 16-year old with a 18-year old is a pedophile to the point the word has lost all its meaning. I hate the trend of putting brand names under magnifying glass to remove "slurs" just so they can pat each other on the back for ending racism. I hate that every form of media has to be "diverse" in such a performative way it feels fake, tacky and intentionally "provocative" (but not to the point it would piss off China or Islamic countries of course!). I hate the cancel culture digging up almost 10 year old ~problematic~ content from d-list e-celebs just so they can ruin their name. I hate that I have to be knowledgeable of all nuances of American identity politics and history even though I don't even live there. I hate it all.

And most of all I hate the fact that I just have to stand there and take it. I constantly have to worry about my interests, my thoughts, my wordings, whatever I do because some psycho might come across me and declare me the next target over some innocuous mistake. Apologizing or explaining yourself does no good, it only fans the flames. I can't join any communities anymore in fear of some psychotic snowflake sucking the life and fun out of everything. Everyone has to be on their toes and only talk about small pleasantries, actual discussion is never encouraged because someone will always shit their pants over thematics. I have to be very careful about what I say because two years from now something completely normal and acceptable might become questionable and my words might be held against me.

They don't care about human rights, they don't care about minorities, they don't care about anything else but their bottomless need for validation and asspats for being a good person. That's why so many woke communities constantly have sexual harassment and grooming scandals. Their interest is not genuine by any means. They refuse open dialogue because they love wrecking havoc, not improving things. They don't volunteer, they don't help people, they barely even donate and keep coming up with excuses why their lazy ass slacktivism has to suffice. They're disgusting, worthless parasites living off of other peoples' misery. The ones who aren't complete disordered sociopaths simply follow suite because they're too scared to question anything the apostles cram down their throats and go overdrive simply to avoid being the next one to be ostracized and assassinated. It's a fucking cult, only they aren't merciful enough to Heaven's Gate themselves.

Social media was a fucking mistake, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put people from all walks of life into an environment where they have the power to mold everyone's reality by manipulation and falsified information?

tl;dr: SJWs should eat a box of nails

No. 575893

>>575866
I live in a super white trash area so I feel you, I’m friends with two married couples, a few cohabitating couples, two people with children, and I’m 19 and can’t keep a relationship for longer than 8 months ahaha, I can’t even imagine having kids or being married by 23, it’s really hard to relate to those that do

No. 575903

>>575842
These people have been very unkind to me not only in these circumstances but other times as well even before I found out about the cheating. Probably because I'm an outsider and they've all known each other since middleschool and didn't want a new group member. I have good reason to ask for an apology before mending fences. She has said to me that she'd like us all to try again to be friends for her sake, and these are my terms.
>>575851
Yes, this is why I chose to leave the group chat. I've explained my angle and they know my motives. If they don't want to apologize that's alright, I just won't hang out with them during the visit as originally planned.

I feel like my posts could be misconstrued as me wanting to have a big argument and chew these people out, but I really don't, I'm just venting per the thread title.

No. 575920

>>575628
Same. I've been slowly and subtly narrowing my social circle and obligations so that I can have more time alone and can pursue my interests and do things by myself.

No. 575929

>>575880
This was a first-class rant, anon. If this were real life, I'd buy you the beverage of your choice.

No. 575934

>>575880
Love you anon and i feel your struggle. Deleted all my socials, got an instagram with zero posts just for keeping up with my friends and family and that is it. Love it this way.

No. 575941

>>575880
You're right. Maybe this shit will die down in a few years.

No. 575943

>>575880
Hard agree.

>That's why so many woke communities constantly have sexual harassment and grooming scandals

There's a lot more to this if you care to look. In the UK for example there are still current Labour politicians that were involved with the Paedophile Exchange Network.

No. 575958

>>575941
It ends when it comes about back to them. The rhetoric keeps changing at a pace so fast that nobody can keep up with it. And just like with dictators who rule with fear, one of their trusted men will betray them at some point. We've already seen a lot of faux-woke bastards fall down because they pissed off or threatened someone close to them for the last time and they started airing out the dirty laundry, discord logs, DMs and so forth. False idols will fall and each time they do more people will be disillusioned with the movement. I'm hoping for this culture to expire by 2025 and social media platforms are doing a pretty damn good job exiling people with their bullshit algorithms, data mining and big corporation rules.

It's just like the hippie movement in the 60's, there are surprisingly many parallels I might add, it was big and radical for the time but soon enough people got tired of being retarded all the time and lead by abusive nutjobs. Back then the society was left with a ton of young people with a drug problem, now we'll have mutilated detransitioners. Here's to hoping Disco will rise again in the 2020s anons.

No. 575961

File: 1593291068869.jpg (12.86 KB, 360x346, IMG_20200627_224825.jpg)

I feel horrible about how lonely I feel and how hard it is for me to make friends ever since my closest group of friends turned out to be nothing but people who used my kindness and money.

It breaks me and makes me want to hurt myself because whenever my s/o spends time with his sister and their friends, I want to cry cause I wish I had friends too. If only I could have felt comfortable around those people, but his sister hates me because she got the same mentality as shuwu. She even talked shit about me to his ex roommate, I can tell that. Man.

No. 575974

>>575961
Not trying to be mean but I see posts like this regularly and it really puts into perspective how easy it is to find someone even if you're socially inept. Like, you have a SO but can't make a friend, even online? I don't get it.

No. 575976

>>575974
There are dudes that are gonna take anyone that's nice to them

No. 575982

>>575974
I'm like that, difficulty forming friendships but relationships just happen for me with no effort

No. 575985

>>575974
Problem with me is that I have lost trust in people very recently because said thing with fake friends happened not a long time ago. Before that I was nothing but a social butterfly who was loved by everyone. And no matter how stupid that sounds, its difficult for me to maintain friendships on internet because I am a very IRL person. But coronavirus is still there, along with millions of cases.


>>575976
Thanks for being respectful without knowing me kek. Have a nice life.

No. 575986

>>575880

Wverything you said, anon.
Reminds me of video related. It's just about how tumblr used to be back in 2014 but now the entire fucking internet sucks ass the same way.

No. 575989

>>575985
Loved by everyone uwu uwu

No. 575993

>>575985
Anon you need a thicker skin

No. 575994

>>575985
why are you crying-cat posters always such whiny babies.

No. 576000

I just learned that one of my best friends is in a very abusive relationship and I don't know how to get her out of it. They're both YouTubers making music content and it pains me to see her boyfriend be successful despite the shit he did.

I know it's not my place to speak out so I've been quiet and pretending nothing's wrong. He pressures her into singing when she doesn't want to, talks about his exes in front of her when she refuses sex, uses her for clickbait.

She's an emotional mess because of this. This is her first relationship and he has been in a lot before her. When I say he pressures her into doing things she doesn't want to is him repeatedly asking untill she doesn't say no.

I don't fucking know how to bring this up, I shouldn't know this information in the first place, it got to me through their roommates and ex roommates. I just wanted to vent.

No. 576014

>>575985
Agree with everyone, you need to be stronger and seek out new friends. You should at least make some online during quarantine unless you wanna keep feeling bad about being friendless. Enough with the self pity.

No. 576027

I want to meet a guy who lives close by, fall in love and eventually get married.
I have no luck because all my relationships have been LDR.
I am currently in one and we haven't met for over a year and because of the virus, we might have to wait another one. I don't think I can handle it.
I want to be spoiled and loved irl.

No. 576043

>>576000
Can you organize a date to see eachother, maybe over coffee? You don't need to go in guns blazing with what you've heard but maybe you can ease her into talking about it if you ask her a little about her relationship and how it's going, her youtube music, etc.

No. 576052

Gatekeepy sperg incoming. I can't stand how my friend who was recently diagnosed with mild depression made it into her whole personality on social media, meaning that she keeps posting these off putting "guides" and shit. I get that she has a lot of normie ass followers that might see mental illnesses as taboo but the way she talks about these things is so grating, like you just stepped into this hellhole and you are very highly functioning. I have been depressed since a disturbingly young age and it just reeks of newfaggotry, it's almost insulting to see her post about these clichés while her own friends are doing worse than her yet she'd never know, because we don't need to talk about it 247 in some aesthetically pleasing posts. I have no idea why this annoys me so much, it's good that she is talking about it but the level of smugness she emits whenever she posts shit like "uwu drinking water is good, did you know you can take vitamin d to feel less sad, dID YOU KNOW DEPRESSION DOESN'T MEAN YOU CRY ALL THE TIME!?? WOW I AM AN EXPERT NOW" fuck oooofffff

No. 576067

In today’s world of “cancel culture” and such why are people so vehemently obsessed with being apologized to? Is it a power play thing?

No. 576074

>>576067
Yes, that and the feeling of "winning" and being morally superior to someone else

No. 576075

I fucking hate hanging out with my bf and our friends who mostly are more of his friends because he nonstop talks sexually about video game girls and wanting to fuck them or how fucking sexy they are and I voice uncomfort and he gets all defensive like "Don't do that."

I literally stopped liking charas/celebrities/whatever like that bc it feels gross to me doing that when I'm in a relationship but IDK if that's just me feeling like that, I don't really know what's normal in a relationship, but it feels wrong to me and I just feel so.. upset because I already feel ugly and it's always characters who are the exact opposite of me.

No. 576079

>>576052
This
I’ve suffered from depression as a young teen, possibly even younger. I have a friend who would occasionally mock me for it, saying that she has it worse than me because her mom had cancer (her mom was obviously lying about it just to get attention and drugs but I never said anything about it to her because I didn’t want to her feelings. Years later, I got confirmation from her sister that she’s was indeed lying about it but I disagrees). Years later, said friends always whines about how depressed she in on FB. Granted, I do think she does suffer from depression to an extent but I hate the way she goes about it. It so “Woe is me! Look how sad I am!” I hate talking about my depression towards other people and I only do it to people I trust. I don’t want it to define me.

One time during an argument, I told her she wasn’t really depressed and she was just using it to get attention. I do think what I said was unnecessarily harsh and mean, but I was fucking sick of her acting like she knew everything about depression when years ago, she used to mock me for being depressed. Everyone acted like I was an asshole for saying such a thing.
But I totally get it. I’m glad mental illness is getting more attention but I’m sick of people making it their entire personality.

No. 576080

>>576075
He clearly doesn't respect you. Any sane person wouldn't talk like that in front of their partner.

>stopped liking charas/celebrities/whatever like that bc it feels gross to me doing that when I'm in a relationship

There's no harm in keep liking fictional characters. The problem is the way he acts towards you and pays no mind to your feelings. You deserve better.

No. 576083

>>576074
I think it has also to do with watching the big fall, the satisfaction of destruction. Like, how dare they have so much things that they don't deserve or something.

No. 576086

>>576075
If you express discomfort about how he talks about female characters and his response is to tell you to stop it, he’s not worth it. It’s one thing to be insensitive and say those things in front of you (imo it’s even disrespectful to his girlfriend to think about banging characters constantly but that’s besides the point). If you’ve explicitly stated that it affects you and he ignores it, it’s a huge red flag.
Everyone is different and has different views on boundaries, jealousy, etc. A good partner respects your boundaries.

No. 576089

>>576087
Being on any long-term psych med at all makes you weak tbh.

No. 576091

>>576087
>People on antipsychotics, people dealing with schizophrenia and people sitting catatonic in hospitals are dealing with the 'taboo' of mental illness, not mildly depressed people living functioning lives and taking a lil SSRI.

I've seen so many long, dramatic fb posts about "it's so difficult to talk about my mild depression uwu please validate me, we need to end the ~stigma"
like fuck you andrew. you are able to hold a job, maintain relationships and keep up with your hobbies. You aren't experiencing hallucinations/delusions/paranoia. You have not needed to be hospitalized. Sorry you feel sad and I hope it gets better but you are not facing stigma.

No. 576093

I'm so tired of feeling constantly uncomfortable in my own body. I have horrible anxiety, depression and anger problems. I'm also always in some type of pain or feeling sick/fatigued. I have so many issues with inflammation and doctors have never been able to find anything physically wrong with me. All of this started happening when I was in a severely abusive relationship that I'm thankfully out of now. When things happen that remind me of being trapped like that again, I start to have pain again. Doctors don't give a shit. They tell me stress and trauma "does not" cause any of the problems I have. I'm so tired of being told I'm retarded and don't even know my own body. I fucking hate doctors and how close-minded they are, but at the same time, I keep going to see them because I'm afraid that my problems are going to turn into something dangerous like cancer.

Oh and I'm also pretty sure I have COVID now, too. Basically just want to fucking die at this point.

No. 576096

>>576091
Yeah I have a relative who gets his meds through injection every few weeks for delusions and hallucinations, if he refuses his injection or misses an appointment a social worker will arrange for him to be sectioned and then they can force the injection. He's an absolute zombie from it and that's his life forever. Sleeping his life away or babbling about religious figures.

No. 576097

>>576093
could it be fibromyalgia? It's a diagnosis of exclusion so it won't show up on tests and people who have experienced trauma tend to have it in higher numbers.

No. 576104

>>575880
You should probably spend less time online

No. 576105

I always feel lost. I don't know my passions and they say to pick a job you'll like or be passionate about. I don't know where my life is going and I can't decide either. How do people decide on a career? How do they know their passions?

No. 576110

>>576105
Anon, most people don't have passions and most people don't work in something they are uwu passionate about. This is a lie that people in the 90's and early 00's used to make money from the depressed working class and their children.
Pick something, decide to stick to it and eventually you can grow to appreciate it or not.

No. 576113

>>576097
It's not fibromyalgia, but you're right, there is a a strong link with that and anxiety/trauma. I have recurring inflammation in two of my organs and corresponding diagnoses for each. I don't really want to get into the specifics because because a.) it stresses me out, and b.) one of them is rare enough that someone could recognize me on here if I said what it was.

Like, my scans have actually shown inflammation, but it's been very mild and I can have scans that show nothing at all. My blood work is also slightly abnormal. When I said they can't find anything physically wrong, I mean anything physically causing the inflammation, like cysts or a tumor.

Honestly I just don't even want to go see doctors about it anymore. I feel a lot better when I just don't focus on it, like to the point of having no symptoms whatsoever, but since one of my problems is rare, I get accused of not taking my health seriously if I try and refuse tests. I'm starting to feel like a guinea pig.

No. 576128

File: 1593311693070.jpeg (35.53 KB, 640x522, FEA53BED-0F77-4E73-A8D6-744AF7…)

Some old fuck came to my work today, asked me a question, then told me I talked too much because I’m a woman even thought I gave a thoughtful answer to a dipshit question. I wish I had kicked him out but instead my brain went into that shutdown giggly mode to get him out. I fucking hate me , why can’t I just exist and be knowledgable? Stupid old men ask me questions all the time and then shoot me down because they’re intimidated by the fact that I actually know what I’m talking about.

He asked me what a certain drink tasted like despite the name being a perfect descriptor of the flavor

No. 576130

>>576105
the idea people try to sell you of "following your heart" or your passions is a FRAUD. My friend wasted two years trying to figure out her passion until she finally took my advice and went for a major that she could realistically do well in and a career that wouldn't burn her out. Your job SHOULD NOT be your passion. That's what hobbies are for.

Also, no matter what job you do, even if you hate it at first, you will eventually get better at and therefore enjoy more. My major wasn't my passion and my job is, although meaningful, not my passion either. I like it this way. It makes me appreciate going home and doing the things I do like, and it prevents my job from consuming my entire life.

No. 576132

>>576128
What a piece of shit. What is your job? Can you report the incident to your supervisor?

Also, your reaction is completely normal. I don't think I've ever lashed out at a random man for making me uncomfortable or treating me like shit just for being a woman, even though I wish I did. Shutting down is essentially a survival technique because you genuinely feel unsafe.

No. 576133

I started following a random subreddit about a meme I like and quickly discovered that for some reason, it's full of alt-right tards. I am so fucking baffled by the things these people attach themselves to.

No. 576137

>>576133
I'm so curious what the meme is?

No. 576142

>>576132
Retail at a speciality store. Thing is is that I’m the assistant manager and definitely had at least some power to kick him out, I just shut down completely in those situations. Our company is owned by and employs majority women so I know they’d be angry too. I really wish I would’ve just walked away and let him stay confused.

No. 576143

>>576133
There’s been so many meme pages I’ve unfollowed because of this. A lot of these accounts are fairly apolitical in their actual content but have the most vile shit in the comments.

No. 576146

>>576133
This happened to me several years ago except it was a Facebook page for a meme I liked. Somehow a completely unrelated meme turned into political grandstanding for anyone wanting to own semi-automatic rifles with impunity.

I hate it when dumbfucks appropriate memes for their agendas.

No. 576148

File: 1593313915228.jpg (237.79 KB, 1916x945, e7a.jpg)

>>576137
This one. If it has some alt-right/misogynist connotation already, I had no knowledge of that. I always just thought it was funny.

No. 576150

>>576142
I'm sorry that happened to you. Fuck that guy. Can you at least talk to any of your coworkers/family/friends for support?

No. 576152

>>576148
I don't see the alt-right/misogynist connotation connotations.
Could you elaborate? I know it's from a redletter parody video shitting on fanboy culture.

No. 576153

>>576148
Consoomer and coomer are both alt-right memes. The consoomer subreddit didn't used to be as bad but then the coomer subreddit got banned.

No. 576154

>>576152
Yeah, I don't see any either. The meme is literally just the picture with the caption. It doesn't go any deeper than that afaik. That's why I'm so confused as to why the entire subreddit is full of misogyny and alt-right rhetoric.

The subreddit is r/consumeproduct, btw.

No. 576155

File: 1593314471621.gif (1.71 MB, 640x360, 70785A2A-7DA3-42D5-A3E8-AFC07F…)

>>576148
Probably because they think only soyboys can be consoomers.

It’s no consolation but I’m left and love redlettermedia and especially their Nerd Crew vids. They don’t talk about politics all that much but they definitely don’t skew right to me.

No. 576156

>>576153
Ffs why do all these faggots have to high-jack the best memes?

No. 576157

I want to reach out to my ex but realistically I know it will end up with our communication channel being closed forever whereas now there's still the possibility of reconnecting. so as much as I want to talk to him I won't because I fear it will close that chapter permanently. I hate myself lol

No. 576158

File: 1593315282389.jpg (27.43 KB, 529x402, IMG_20190531_085207.jpg)

it's been nearly a year since I found out my closest friends (one who was my best friend since elementary school) all had a separate group chat from me where they made fun of my tweets and instagram posts and I still think about it sometimes and feel so sad. they made fun of my facial features and my outfits and would talk about all the moments they thought I was annoying when we hung out, and go into detail about how they didn't like me. I never really made new friends after that and I'm genuinely convinced that what they said is true, that I'm annoying and nobody would be my friend other than to pity me. they all stayed friends meanwhile I'm alone and my only friend is my boyfriend. feels bad.

No. 576162

>>576158
That really sucks, I'm sorry you had to go through that anon. It must have been really painful to find out your friends were shitty. Making friends, especially genuine ones is difficult so don't beat yourself up too much.

No. 576163

>>576158
omg that is beyond fucked up. That is genuinely so messed up. How did you find out?

I know it's annoying to hear when you're the one in the situation, but from an outside perspective any group of people who would go out of their way to maintain a 'friendship' with someone that they are simultaneously shitting on in a whole ass separate group chat has genuine issues. You don't want those people in your life.

No. 576166

>>576158
I don't understand how people can do shit like this. If I don't want to be friends with someone anymore, I tell them I don't want to be friends. Pretending to be someone's friend only to shit talk them sounds like some grade school bullshit. They think they're doing you a favor by being "nice" while secretly hating you but they're just making the fall worse. You've probably heard this a million times but you're better off without people like that.

No. 576168

>>576158
Honestly anon, they are insane. We may be on lolcow, but wasting their/your time by willingly tricking a rando into being their good friend just to have a chuckle is so far more embarrassing than anything you did by simply…being alive.

Makes me angry on your behalf. This scenario is my biggest source of paranoia and to hear that you actually experienced it is horrible. Sending love to you.

No. 576169

File: 1593316606240.gif (698.54 KB, 300x224, 4565776.gif)

A friend in my group routinely annoys and pisses me off, but I can't ever attribute it to malice that's just not her general laziness and stupidity. I wish she was just being a self-centered bitch for me to be thinking so negatively about her, but she's just naturally an unaware dumbass and it would make me the bitch to give her shit for it but god if she doesn't fucking try me with her bullshit.