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Townhall is scheduled for May 22nd, GMT 2PM.

File: 1587046214910.png (111.06 KB, 400x337, 1585051463537.png)

No. 541792

Time to spit out all the things you've been bottling up for a long time. We do not judge here, we just confess. Confess, confess and confess.

Previous one: >>>/ot/513119

Commentary is now officially banned from this thread. This thread is for confessions only and was intended to be that way according to the thread OP.

No. 541805

i've been dating my current bf for almost 5 months now, but i've slept with like, 3 other guys behind his back since then. one time i even made him pick me up from this other guy's place right after we hooked up. i told him i was catching up with an old friend (which wasn't exactly wrong LMAO). last night i sent nudes to two different guys at the same time, and i'm still ignoring all his texts. i'm just waiting for him to get tired and break up with me so i won't have to do it myself.

No. 541824

>>541805
I hope to god this is bait and fiction, I hate cheating-fags so much

No. 541825

>>541805
…and why can't you do it first?

i felt like cheating before but never did it cuz it'd completely shatter my reputation
i think it's just an obscure desire of a sadist

No. 541826

>>541805
Damn anon, that's mean! Did he do anything to deserve it or are you just bored or something?

No. 541830

>>541805
>bragging about giving yourself the precursor to cervical cancer and setting yourself up to die alone

No. 541838

>>541805
you're weak if this is true

No. 541839

>>541825
he told me a while ago that when he found out his last gf cheated on him he fake cried about it and purposely came inside her so she would hopefully have to pay for an abortion… i'm kinda scared of inciting this kind of wrath upon myself
>>541826
guess i'm bored of him and our relationship. it probably was a red flag when he told me he exhibited symptoms of autism as a child lololol
he's this "freelance voice actor" that always talks about how fat and unpleasant all the women in his life are when he's a fat broke redditor-type manchild who spergs over dnd with an embarrassing lack of style
>>541830
i'm probably punishing myself for even committing to that loser in the first place

No. 541840

>>541830
Nta but as someone who has had one of the cancer causing strains of hpv (and eliminated it) your post doesn't even make sense. Are you just assuming they have hpv? Cheating is shitty but why make such a strange leap?

No. 541842

>>541839
really hope this is bait but I know shitty humans beings like you do exist

No. 541882

>>541839
you should ditch him already, he sounds creepy and i fear for your safety
it's not only a moral issue but some guys can't take cheating well

No. 541891

>>541839
> purposely came inside her so she would hopefully have to pay for an abortion

There's no way he could know for certain that she'd even abort, he could've created a life and been in a position of paying child support for two decades, neither of you sound like you make good (or moral) decisions. Two complete idiots.

No. 541893

Why do you guys reply to such bait…even if it's true, anon clearly is smug and content being shitty so it's not like your replies stand to change their mind.

No. 541902

>>541842
>>541893
lol i wish i was baiting
i don't mean to exactly brag about cheating but this is the type of thing that i wouldn't even be able to tell my closest friends
this thread just gives me the freedom to let it out
i haven't seen him in like a month anyway bc i told him i was self-isolating… i think i might take my chances and dump him sometime now but i'm not sure if i could confess cheating to him

No. 541920

>>541902
if this is for real the the absolute best option is to dump him but don't tell him you cheated on him,

No. 541921

I spit in a kids milk when I was younger and I feel bad about it because he didnt do anything wrong he was just annoying.

No. 541922

>>541902
Don't tell him you cheated, dump him from a distance and stay away. The 'I'll get her pregnant as revenge' story screams that he'd only asault you in some way if he finds out

No. 541929

File: 1587062026560.jpeg (18.86 KB, 450x450, cotton.jpeg)

I don't wanna tell tp hoarders my secret, but sometimes when I run out of tp I use a cotton facial pad. Instead of wiping it's a twisting action, and it's a lot more efficient at getting rid of the poo.

No. 541935

I'm an artist and I'm convinced a large majority of my fans are autistic. I'm nice to them but deep down they all weird me out and are quite frankly disgusting. I sometimes wanna post for them to take a shower so instead I re word it as "please take care of yourselves"

>>541929
brilliant

No. 541941

>>541935
Do you draw furry art or something? Why does your work attract autists?

No. 541943

>>541935
If you attract autists you have to consider why, what kind of art?

No. 541947

>>541929
Good idea but doesn't it gross you out to have poop-covered cotton pad sitting around in your wastebin? I hope you don't flush cotton down the toilet…

No. 541960

>>541929

now I understand why these are always sold out. Even the small ones are hard to get these days wtf

No. 541963

>>541947
Lmao nah I flush it.
>muh sanitation clogs
Flushable wipes, tampons, and nappies are bigger concerns.

No. 541965

>>541929
Genuine question, but if you're at home, why not just wash your downstairs in the tub/shower after a poop? It only takes a few minutes and feels so much cleaner.

No. 541966

>>541965
Why would you not do that just because you use toilet paper? Unless you have a bidet that's a good way to run a water bill.

No. 541970

>>541966
I guess it depends on how much you're paying for water/electricity, but a 10 minute shower for me costs around 25 cents. Cleaning up after #2 only takes a couple of minutes. My water bill is fine and my butthole is fresh.

No. 541978

>>541970
>my butthole is fresh
Kek

No. 541979

>>541966
Ew………Wash your ass anon

No. 541989

>>541979
Nope. The feel of a greased asshole makes me walk quicker!

No. 541994

sometimes I want to become a christian again

No. 542016

>>541994
This confession after the others is comedic

No. 542175

I’m sexually frustrated as fuck all the time because my bf can’t keep a boner and runs out of stamina super fast. He’s got health issues so It’s not his fault obviously but it’s starting to get to me. He feels bad about it and it makes me feel guilty. there’s not much we can do except hope weight loss and exercise helps but if it doesn’t I’m not sure what I’d do….

No. 542176

>>541929
lmfao anon bless,my mother gave me a bunch of those for makeup but I have no TP and running out of wipes

No. 542181

I started masturbating when I was 7 and I remember doing it in the backseat of the car with my parents in the front. This memory makes me want to die.

No. 542188

>>542181
It's not that uncommon, my first time meeting my exes family his niece was doing this in the living room.. she had mild autism so didn't have the concept to hide it but it's something kids do without fully grasping what it is.

No. 542206

>>542181
I feel you because I am the same but at first I started doing it under a blanket whenever I was about to go to kindergarten, then I started doing it in front of everyone aka one time I was doing it when my aunt was over with her children and she beat me for touching myself down there.

So fucking weird how my parents never told me to stop despite knowing damn well what I was doing.

No. 542263

>>542206
Bless your parents. They probably realized it was normal.
My mom would scream at me and treat it like something shameful and dirty and I felt disgusting and dumb.
Now I can’t even talk about anything related to sex. Like literally, I can’t speak.

No. 542265

>>542175

It's not like he can't eat your pussy or finger you. He can hold you while you masturbates, he can use toys. No excuse for you being unsatisfied from a limp dick.

As for my confession. I am cheating on my husband. There's nothing wrong with our relationship. He's an amazing person and I am so happy. I just had a thing for someone I have known close to a decade in another country. We would probably never meet in person but we had a strictly non sexual relationship until I got drunk and admitted things that he admitted as well. We will video chat or send pictures. We don't talk sexually outside of this. We aren't taking romantically.

I am disgusted with myself as I should be. I am disgusted even engaging in an affair. But my marriage is good, my husband is happy and serviced. But I have a fantasy of running away with someone my age in a country I adore. I know I am privileged and loved. I hate cheaters, and I became one. RIP

No. 542278

>>542265
>> We don't talk sexually outside of this.
Don't try to fucking justify it.
>> But I have a fantasy of running away with someone my age in a country I adore
>> my husband is happy and serviced.
ffs do you even love your husband? have you pulled your head out of your ass and considered what this would put him through? Stop with the fucking messaging and remove or block this man's number if you want to be able to salvage your marriage (not that you even deserve it). Your midlife crisis isn't an excuse to be a fucking piece of shit.

No. 542286

>>542265
>It's not like he can't eat your pussy or finger you. He can hold you while you masturbates, he can use toys. No excuse for you being unsatisfied from a limp dick.

NAYRT, but sometimes - most times - when horny you just want The Dick. No body part or toy is like The Dick, no sex act is like The Dicking. It's something primal I can't explain, something that takes you over and lights a certain fire while quenching a certain thirst, something that only the ancient phallic statues worshiped as symbols of fertility come close to expressing.

No. 542290

>>542286
Posts like this make me question my sexuality, I've never thought that highly of dick

No. 542293

>>542286
>something that takes you over and lights a certain fire while quenching a certain thirst, something that only the ancient phallic statues worshiped as symbols of fertility come close to expressing.

Save it for your fanfic pls.

No. 542294

>>542290
Sexuality is a spectrum

No. 542295

File: 1587137291525.jpg (78.04 KB, 1080x1080, 1578533053355.jpg)


No. 542297

>>542286
I have never related to anything more. This is how penis makes me feel even though I fucking hate men. Bravo anon

No. 542300

>>542294
I must be on the 'dicks just aren't that great' end of the spectrum then

No. 542301

>>542286
Ahahaha. I think this happens when I ovulate. Like it's your body's way of making you procreate I guess. Otherwise clit stimulation is all it takes.

No. 542306

>>542301
I only ever crave penetration in the couple days before my period, always wondered why given they aren't the most fertile days? Rest of the month it's all about the clit.

No. 542311

>>542306
Many women get extra horny just before their period too, I heard it is because there is an increased activity going on in your organs in preparation for menstruation.

No. 542316

File: 1587139539725.gif (3.92 MB, 320x308, 1587033377678.gif)

>>542286
Damn anon, now I am horny.

No. 542317

>>542311
This. I'm horniest during ovulation and before menstruation. Most women experience these two peaks in desire.

No. 542318

>>542316
LOL, what is this gif from?

No. 542319

>>542317
I get one horny day a month and it's the pre-menstrual one

No. 542320

>>542318
Oh anon, you don't know? Do I have a treat for you then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooOELrGMn14

No. 542321

>>542320
and here is the part where the pastor comes in with the fruit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q4O5ztz92o

No. 542324

>>542320
God what the hell. Why the banana action though?

No. 542326


No. 542328

>>542278

Yeah I'm an asshole. Im married to a man way to old for me. I'm not going through a mid life crisis. I'm in my 20s. Not looking for sympathy. I love my husband. And I would delete him in a second if I wasn't a trash human being.

No. 542335

>>542328
Diff anon but I had a similar online thing when I was in a bad/turned abusive relationship. Hard to understand why you'd turn to that if your marriage is good. Are there issues in the marriage that you're just playing down or in denial about?

No. 542338

I've struggled with the thought of me possibly being autistic, I've had therapy for other trauma related shit and I got diagnosed with some things but in the recent years I couldn't shake the thought that something else might be up with me. I've contacted my local psych hospital asking for a possible diagnosis or rather test but it feels so wrong to actually go for it. I do have a psychiatrist and I probably should talk to her about it but I don't know why I can't bring myself to it. It also seems really difficult to diagnose autism in women and a lot gets put aside or misdiagnosed.

No. 542342

>>542335
I overdosed as a teen and my friend from another country saved me from being a degenerate.

There is no issue in my marriage aside from me being an asshole.

No. 542348

>>542338
I was in my local mental health system from ages 12 to 30 and nobody ever mentioned autism, moved to a different part of the country and my new psych brought it up after seeing me once.. it's missed in women and often mistaken for personality disorders. The waiting list for assessment was then two years long so it took twenty years in mental health treatment to get the same diagnosis that little boys get so easily.

No. 542351

>>542348
yeah I got diagnosed with BPD, and while it fit in some areas I was always told 'I'm not a bad case' etc. it seems you'll get diagnosed with BPD really quickly here as well. Thank you for your insight I'm sturggling because I'm rather old and it feels wrong that it was missed for so many years

No. 542356

>>542338
Would having an official diagnosis affect your behavior? Do you think your life would be markedly different?
You could always try engaging in whatever therapy methods they recommend regardless of whether you're diagnosed or not.

No. 542361

>>542348
How can autism be mistaken for a personality disorder? I know people with ASD and I just don't see the similarity.

No. 542363

>>542361
I don't know, I was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder, I'm anxious in social situations, struggle with eye contact and making conversation so I just isolate myself. Turns out that was all autism.

No. 542367

>>542328
So stop being an asshole? You know you are but you aren’t doing shit about it. Stop being an annoying coward and get a divorce.

No. 542368

>>542363
I see. How weird that they missed that.

No. 542370

>>542356
I get what you mean but I just want clarity, I want to know whats up with my body/mind and honestly it would help with my insurance because right now I'm 'highrisk' ranked because of my diagnosis and that sucks because I never was a highrisk patient, also it really hinders my chances of getting therapy because therapists dont wanna deal with a risky case. The times I got turned down because of that is absurd

No. 542373

>>542361
The DSM is a joke and most “professionals” have no idea of what autism really is like. Actually, a lot of people with autism get misdiagnosed, mostly adults and women.

Truly yours,
An asperger’s anon who was diagnosed as bipolar, despite not even displaying all the symptoms in the DSM.

No. 542387

>>542373
I got an adult diagnosis after years of having sensory issues put down to an anxiety disorder, then after my diagnosis..my dad was diagnosed at 60.

Sadly if you're born in the wrong time or born female you pretty much have to figure it out by yourself and bug them for an assessment.

No. 542389

>>542363
I'm the opposite anons, I was falsely diagnosed as autistic and I'm actually bipolar lmao

No. 542394

>>542389
How the hell can this happen, what is the similarity between bipolar and autism?

No. 542395

>>542389
Does the autism diagnosis get taken away? I mean the assessment for autism is pretty full on.

No. 542400

File: 1587147451033.gif (2.19 MB, 400x224, dS1Hfm.gif)

I regularly fantasize about killing people I hate.

In school i used to daydream about taking my pencil and stabbing the asshole bully kids in the eyes with it.

I do it to this day, but would never act on it.

No. 542414

>>542400
doesn't everyone do this once a while?

No. 542417

>>542414
Once in a while, sure. Anon said "regularly".

No. 542449

I wish I could travel back in time and steal my boyfriend from his mother when he was a child. I can't stop thinking about that ever since he showed a picture of him when he was around four or five.

No. 542459

I'm willing to pay money to keep someone around to just lie to me.

No. 542461

>>542449
does this have some pedo context i should be worried about

No. 542464

>>542449
was he abused or sth

No. 542474

>>542449
If this is the male-rape-boyfriend baiter again I swear to god…

No. 542533

>>542461
No, I just wish I was his mom, then he wouldn't be my boyfriend.

No. 542534

>>542533
Anon. Please.

No. 542559

My boyfriend was raped by some older woman at a bar. He’s fucked up and I don’t know how to help him cope with it.

No. 542560


No. 542571

I love and look forward to other people’s birthdays because it gives me an excuse to tell people how much I love them which I just find extremely awkward to express generally

No. 542572

>>542474
I'm not that person, I wouldn't want to have sex or a romantic relationship if I traveled back in time and adopted him.

No. 542573

My dad would hold down and hit me from 7-13 but then he started to treat me better maybe even his favorite out of my siblings, I dont know why. When he died my mom asked if he'd ever raped or molested me as a kid. I'm sad she'd think that low of him but at least she wasnt a mom that would deny it. He wasn't the one who molested me as a kid but I'll still never understand how I went from his worst kid to his favorite. I've never really talked about what he was like in those earlier years since everyone knew him as such a great guy.

No. 542617

I had to write an apology to a professor for calling him a boomer but I just searched an apology online and changed some things.

No. 542621

>>542617
…Why did you call him a boomer in the first place?

No. 542622

>>542621
he was ranting about 5g and coronavirus and how phones give cancer

No. 542624

>>542622
Alright, that's fair.

No. 542669

I know every word of all six seasons of the hills off by heart, including the songs they used as interludes between the scenes

No. 542672

I love Creed unironically. I am really into dad-esque music these days.

No. 542673

>>542672
i kind of unironically like butt-rock too.

No. 542685

>>542622
he's not completely wrong

No. 542700

My dad is in prison for possession of child porn. He was molested as a kid and unfortunately didn’t get the help he needed and ended up being a pedophile. He went to prison when I was 20 but the first time he got caught for it was when I was in the 2nd grade. He didn’t go to prison then, but was put on the SO list and couldn’t be with me unsupervised for years. I don’t think he ever did anything to me physically but recently something has really been bothering me. When I was about 8 I was taking a bath at his house (he lived with my grandmother and grandfather and I could stay there as long as they were there too) and then he came in and wanted to take a picture of me. Now by this point I was old enough to feel weird about having pictures taken of me naked and protested but he made me. He took a picture of me sitting in the bath with my chest exposed. For some reason his cousin was also there and when he left she said to me something along the lines of “at least it wasn’t down there” meaning my vagina. Ever since I recalled this memory I can’t shake the feeling that he was using that picture to join a dark web CP site. I’ve heard that most sites require you to show your own pics before you can join. I don’t know how true that is…and I could be making something out of nothing but this thought has just been weighing on me for months now and I’m too scared to ask him myself and too ashamed to talk about it in therapy.

No. 542703

>>542700
I'm so sorry anon. I heard that some tight knit sites actually give you an exam to prove you're an actual pedo. Anyways that was fucked up and nothing is your fault. You were a child, sounds like your dad molested his cousin too.

No. 542706

>>542700
>He was molested as a kid and unfortunately didn’t get the help he needed and ended up being a pedophile.

I've read up so much on this over the years and tbh a good deal of pedos who claim they were abused themselves aren't telling the truth. The whole 'abuse creates abusers' thing is something they latch onto. Now I don't know if your dad was truly abused but the fact that you list this almost like a disclaimer before listing his own offenses shows how manipulative they are.

No. 542712

>>542700
There's nothing that you should feel "too ashamed" to talk about in therapy - that's the point of paying someone to tell all your darkest shit to.

No. 542713

>>542706
Some pedos were molested as children but most people who are survivors of csa do not end up as pedos. Being molested doesn't make you want to molest kids, quite the opposite in most cases, that's indeed mostly used as an excuse.

No. 542728

How do you get diagnosed autism or any pd as an adult? Do you take an appointment with a psychiatrist and tell them you have problems and you want to know why?

No. 542731

>>542728
If your have a PD it's usually diagnosed after years of being in a mental health system getting help for ongoing problems. A long established history of issues is what they are looking for. They often treat the symptoms like despression, distress or anxiety for years before committing to the label of a PD. It's not a diagnosis you want rushed.

No. 542771

>>542731
I see, I probably don't have a pd then, I have my fair share of issues (mostly social), but not serious enough to have been followed. I've wondered for quite some time if I was autistic, I wanted to know how you get it diagnosed in adulthood (especially for women where it's often detected late).

No. 542832

I was going through my books today and found some magazines from 5+ years ago. My mom had bought me a subscription for a fashion/shopping magazine and to be honest I didn’t read almost any of them. A couple are still wrapped in plastic. I know she did it because my little cousin was doing some kind of fundraiser but it makes me feel bad that she’s into all this feminine stuff and none of it has ever clicked with me. I’ve always felt guilty about shopping or getting manicures and one time she gave me a vogue makeup book because “it might be something you could get into.” At least my sister is into that stuff but it’s always made me feel uncomfortable or that I was a killjoy for not being able to get into beauty.

No. 542840

>>542832
never feel sorry for not having the same interests as your parents anon. A mother should never have a daughter with the expection that it's gonna be her mini-me. You're not a killjoy for having and exploring your own interests that don't happen to also be your mother's.

No. 542841

>>542771
I was getting help for about 15 years before they committed to labelling me.

No. 542862

>>542832
I feel the same, that my mom would have preferred that I was more like my sister who is a total Stacy. I remember back in ninth grade when she wanted to buy me makeup and take me shopping all the time, I always felt horrible because I was flat back then and couldn't wear anything. I don't think we even have any interests in common anymore, I feel she has grown disdainful over the years because of that.

No. 542870

I'm 18 and already started to have laughlines. I want to kill myself honestly, i don't even want to imagine myself in 30s

No. 542879

>>542870
The word laughlines is cute, kinda sad that people hate having them

No. 542902

>>542712
>>542706
>>542700
How do you guys navigate the world without being constantly afraid that every man you meet is secretly an abuser or a pedo, or has some fucked up fetish? Especially those of you who have had direct contact with them or done research. I'm getting to the point where I don't want to date or be around men because I'm so paranoid, but I've never been abused or known an abuser.

No. 542904

>>542870
damn anon, it ain't matter that much. it's a very minimal feature, you're not gonna stop being a cutie

No. 542908

File: 1587234501270.jpg (922.26 KB, 1969x2954, 6a68bcc7-af34-4260-ad01-d3c4bb…)

>>542870
Everyone has lines on their face, anon. Don't worry about nitpickers. I'm sure you look great!

No. 542914

>>542908
>>542904
>>542879
Thank you anons, i'm overreacting but entering the age of adult life was very disappointing so far.

No. 542917

File: 1587238511603.png (499.55 KB, 1079x720, a.png)

whenever i find a person that i really admire, i cyberstalk them for a long time and try to pick up their habits, quirks, personality, etc. i feel like i have no identity of my own and whatever i have is a mesh of people who i weirdly admire. i'm liked by a lot of people and my friends enjoy my company but i can't help but feel disgusted with myself because i'm such a copycat creep.

No. 542924

File: 1587240931452.jpg (19.91 KB, 512x504, i crie.jpg)

If I have my laptop out when I masturbate I have to make sure the social media windows are all closed out because it makes me feel like I'm masturbating in front of my friends and family.
(Yes I know it's a bit silly).

No. 542928

I think I am falling in… like with a guy who lives in another city. We used to talk a year before but I took a break from social media and now we reconnected and fuck, I'm feeling a lot of things. I'm just afraid to be in an ldr.
He's such a cutie, though…
And he can understand me so well, I just wanna give him a smooch.

>>542924
It's kinda cute of you anon

No. 542935

>>542917
anon there's nothing wrong with noticing personal traits of others that you admire and wanting to adopt them, but probably cyberstalking them for ages is the wrong way to go about it. Maybe next time just try to identify specifically why you admire them and try to find ways to emulate that until it feels like a natural part of who you are. Everyone in the entire world is and has been influenced by the company they keep, you're not a copycat dw

No. 543003

File: 1587252674400.jpg (Spoiler Image, 76.12 KB, 418x235, fujo.jpg)

I have a huge collection of fujo/ cute/male-type shit and really dread the day I have to come clean about it to my bf. Not because he would freak out, but because it's really fucking embarrassing. I wish I collected 3D men instead

No. 543017

>>543003
You got an interest in other women anon? We can combine our collections

No. 543020

Literally only 6:45 minutes in the first Deadpool movie and I already have a huge crush on him. only if he's wearing that ridiculous red suit though

No. 543042

>>543003
I don't think he'll mind, If he knows you're a weeb be suspects you're a fujo as well, I think the only he might take offense to so If you ship him with any of his friends

No. 543062

>>543003
i know this has nothing to do with your post but just wanted to say it's ok to be a fujo. the real cringe is like when i read this BL comic and people in the comments were hating on the main character's little sister like his LITTLE FUCKING SISTER c'mon. the only cringy fujos are the ones who hate on any woman that appears and ruins their gay fantasy

>>543042
one of my friends used to ship her bf with his friend on facebook, even tagging them together - the cringe is real

No. 543082

File: 1587261805927.jpg (12.57 KB, 224x225, index.jpg)

I have inserted garlic inside my butt more than once.

No. 543083

>>543082
Pics or fake.

No. 543088

>>543082
..why?

No. 543140

>>541792
It hurts to see the people who have treated me like shit and been downright cruel go on to be successful and happy in life. Whatever happened to karma.

No. 543141

One time I heard a guy saying my female friend had a soft voice and I emulated it until he said me and her spoke that way. Man I must have copied her a lot because I was so jealous due to my complex, cringe.

No. 543143

>>543003
If the guy is a weeb too, it'll probably be fine. Now, explaining BL to a normie is another can of worms…

No. 543150

when i look in the mirror naked im afraid the next person to look into that mirror is gonna see me naked too

No. 543156

>>543141
I have a friend that I've known since I was a kid and she had a cute voice. I was so jealous of her that I copied her voice and now mine is permanently like that, lmao. My real voice only comes out when I'm pissed off or when I'm trying really hard to deepen it. I want it back.

No. 543158

File: 1587283198770.jpeg (88.49 KB, 363x555, 888EBB33-8263-4835-84AB-897715…)

I broke up with my boyfriend because he kept going on about how charlotte kemp muhl had the ‘perfect face,’ and tbh how tf am i supposed to compete against someone who naturally looks like they’ve have intensive plastic surgery? I just don’t look like that!

No. 543161

>>543158
Her nose and lips are tragic, good for you anon.

No. 543165

>>543158
Ewww her of all people? She’s always looked like puffed fish with no chin, hard pass

No. 543183

>>543158
sorry but every relationship involves talking about a celebrity crush, you shouldn't take it to heart especially if it was one conversation

No. 543184

>>543156
>>543156
Try reading out loud. My voice is also fake, but when I read a book out loud my voice comes back, feels so much better

No. 543186

>>543183
its normal to be attracted to a celebrity while in a relationship but going on about how some celeb has a "perfect face" to your SO is just annoying, breakup anon did good for herself

No. 543203

>>543183
>shouldn't take it to heart especially if it was one conversation

She said that he kept going on about it, doesn't sound like one convo

No. 543210

>>542924
I do that too, I'm way too paranoid

No. 543211

>>541792
More and more with each passing day I start to believe that someone is looking at me through my laptop camera and I'm not sure if it's because I watched snowden last week or if I'm going schizo.

No. 543216

>>543211
Why don't you cover it with tape like a normal person

No. 543223

File: 1587305321565.png (43.66 KB, 281x215, 1587160016497.png)

>>543211
Tape it.
I had the same paranoia with the phone's front camera, so my new phone has a pop up camera that stays hidden unless I choose to use it.

No. 543279

>>543211
Not the reason I got it, but my laptop has a webcam killswitch, it's great. Could be worth considering as a feature when you eventually replace your laptop. For now, tape it like the other anons said.

No. 543307

File: 1587320032511.png (133.93 KB, 350x385, fujoshi.png)

>>543017
Thank you for the offer anon. I am straight. But jealous of all you lesbian fujos who get to share BL with your gfs/wives.

>>543042
>>543062
>>543143
Oh God no I don't ship people in my real life lol. As degenerate as I am with 2D men, that is a line that you just cannot cross.

Bf is not a weeb, but is def not a normie and is vaguely aware that I was into yaoi as a teen. But we're adults now, and idk I wouldn't blame him for being a little creeped out at the sheer amount of BL I CURRENTLY have on my computer.

Maybe I can play this as a sex thing? Like, look at all the porn I have, I wanna jump your dick all day and do these things

No. 543316

File: 1587321732332.jpeg (81.01 KB, 610x651, 2BEC71F0-8EF8-48ED-91E5-77AEA1…)

>>543307
correction

No. 543330

>>543316
u caught me anon

No. 543346

>>543183
I should mention that he opined that he’d like to ‘fuck her, or at least someone who looks like her.’ I’m realizing now that the relationship may have already been over.

No. 543358

I'm terrified of having a child born with any type of disease or deformity, mental or physical.

No. 543365

>>543307
Do lesbian fujoshits even exist? Thought they're too straight, even…

No. 543372

>>543365
I've interacted with some, they're on a different plane of homosexuality entirely. It's very powerful.

No. 543375

>>543062
Honestly while I doubt it applies here the "fujos hating female characters" trope is often more accurately "fujos hating badly written female characters only shoehorned in to please the male audience". I'm not surprised at all to see people rooting for the two male protagonists' relationship that has far more depth, development and chemistry than the "male protagonist's tertiary female childhood love interest/empty sexualized trope that only exists for waifufagging purposes".

>>543365
Do you live under a rock? A whole lot of fujos are lesbian or bi. It's extremely common for them to find 3DPD men repulsive and enjoy the BL comics for their female-oriented storytelling, relationships and the overall safe zone from female objectification with a male cast.

No. 543377

>>543158
>perfect face
>sideburns, tiny eyes, big mouth

What a dweeb.

No. 543384

>>543375
I'm sorry, but honestly, if you are a fujo you will mostly be drawn to content that has a strong male cast. And that's fine, but it irks me that they say "i'd care about female characters if they were written better!" When they don't seek content written by women, about women! They expect the battle shonen manga that give them their precious yaoi to have grounded female characters when that will never happen because the author. does. not. care.
At this point it's more honest to say you don't care about female characters at all since there's no effort to seek content beyond shitty mangas for 10 years old.

No. 543385

>>543377
What's wrong with those?

No. 543388

File: 1587334473749.png (126.23 KB, 849x656, family-tree-for-kids.png)

I hate my ethnicity and race.
It mainly comes from my dad's side of the family being utterly despicable, greedy and disgusting, treating my mom and i like shit since she got with my dad, I hate looking like them and I do my best to look any other race but theirs (they are native/latino mixed). There's nothing to be proud of the country and culture they came from either, I just feel disgust for being from there.

Once my teacher ended up thinking i was mixed white/japanese for a while and i just acted like i was slightly annoyed and confused about it but deep down i felt alot of joy and relief, it makes me look like a disgusting weeb but hey, what can one do.

My mum's relatives her parents and extended family died wayyy before i was born and according to her they weren't very good people anyways, i don't really look like that side of the family at all anyways so I feel basically culture-less.

No. 543389


No. 543392

>>543384
Shojo manga has boring plots and lame aesthetic, I guess it's cool that it has female characters but it puts me to sleep.

No. 543393

>>543389

Pfft haha i don't use crystal cafe, too many troons larping, and its mostly about hating being related to my dad and his family than beauty standards, i don't think im ugly because of my race at all.

No. 543394

>>543392
There's josei, even seinen is better sometimes than basic ass shonen.
Everyone is free to read anything they want but don't complain when it's shallow.

No. 543395

>>543394
I mean I usually read seinen, and josei is not that different from shojo.

No. 543397

>>543395
Alright? Do what you want. But the people complaining about female characters are still searching for them in the wrong places.

No. 543400

I always have to use my phone when I am on the toilet, especially when I'm taking a shit. Don't even know why. I feel immediately bummed out when I'm in there without my phone to look at and play with when I need to do my bigger business. I'm aware that it attracts a lot of bacteria and is nasty as hell but hey I cannot stop.

No. 543405

>>543400
Well, how else are you going to shitpost?

No. 543406

>>543375
No one said anything about female childhood friends tho? I meant that any woman that appears in yaoi manga gets hated on regardless

>>543392
I don't like most shoujo manga but you can say the same about yaoi. 90% is absolute trash

No. 543407


No. 543578

>>543358
That's literally every future parent's fear, you are not alone in this. What's really frightening is that problems can arise later in life with no way of preventing them. At least we have the modern ultrasounds to detect stuff like down's and hardcore malformations.

No. 543583

File: 1587374670377.jpg (67.43 KB, 600x1337, 767.jpg)

I've been reading smutty fanfic for a show I don't watch and have no intention of watching. I just saw fanart of these two minor characters together and thought they were cute. I would watch the show if it was about them lmao

I like fanfic because it's usually authored by other women, and I love the way women write sex scenes. Like, we understand the importance of buildup and feelings, of couples having dialogues about what they're into and cuddling after. Good sex involves love and communication, and I feel like female writers are more likely to understand that. Obviously there are shitty female writers out there too, but goddamn, when they're good, they're amazing.

I can't get into porn because it almost never includes the things I find sexiest. Like, when people kiss and lean their foreheads together? So hot to me. I just think cuddly, lovey-dovey sex is really hot, and the only place I can ever find depictions of it is fanfiction.

Am I weird anons

No. 543586

>>543583
No… you’re not weird. Do you think it’s normal to want soulless loveless hardcore porn sex?

No. 543588

>>543586
I just don't understand why violent, soulless porn is so popular. Do people get jealous if the couples in porn are depicted as being in love?

Porn just makes me feel sad and unnerved. It's obvious the actors aren't into it, and I just know a lot of the actresses are being mistreated. I don't see why people find these ambivalent, uncomfortable actors sexy.

No. 543589

>>543586
Certain losers do

No. 543590

>>543583
Wanna share this juicy well written fanfic?

>>543588
Jealousy and love doesn't even factor into porn. The whole exercise is just emotionless - soulless

No. 543597

>>543583
you can't sell something this well without sharing!

No. 543602

>>543583
Same I love reading fanfics, the best discovery ever.

I love the way women write, its just so much better than porn, or men writing. Even if its a pwp usually there is plot and dialog. You can feel the connection and passion between characters.

I don't even care what fandom it is. I usually look for AU's that I love to read about.

So I don't think its weird at all.

No. 543611

>>543602
I swear female authors write the spiciest dirty talk in sex scenes. Even BL artists, female also, have a knack for drawing really intense porn.

No. 543643

Since we're talking about porn: I remember looking through by brother's computer and all that I found was some pics from characters he likes in the 'images' folder. He didn't even try to hide it. Also caught 'lesbian porn' on his search history while he showed it to me kek. I'm just glad he's not a degenerate and think that's what the average guy is into. Only fucked up men see violent hardcore porn.

No. 543769

I've never had sleep paralysis but I kind of want to

No. 543787

>>543583
Not weird. It's weird that anyone would want to watch random strangers be abused on tape (and hate it), thankfully internet savvy women all seem to gravitate towards fanfic because our idea of good porn is people/characters we care about having sex they enjoy. If it's a long ass 100k slow burn with tonnes of build up and sexual tension, even better.

People love to shit on girls who enjoy fandom, fujos etc but it really says a lot of good things about us that this is how female sexuality often functions.

No. 543795

I feel extremely guilty that my job is so comfy and able to be done remotely, while everyone around me is losing jobs or having to endanger themselves for essential work. I feel so bad about it that I've gotten into this retarded habit of sending random friends money if I know they could use it, like spamming tips when I watch a friend streaming. I'm probably a fool for it but I just feel gross hoarding money and doing nothing. Not to sound like an uwu martyr I'm just dumb

No. 543798

Everyone makes fun of cows for "tripod kun" if they take pictures with a tripod, but tbh I fucking hate having to deal with photographers and trying to work with another person when I already know what I want so I completely get it. Fuck that noise.

No. 543800

File: 1587420468888.jpg (783.89 KB, 1080x1537, y2.jpg)

>>543611
FUCK I wish more fujo artists would make straight porn too.

Has anyone read Oshiete Kudasai, Fujishima-san ? It's smut josei by BL author Nae Awaji. English title is "Overcuming writers block" (hate it). Really butters my muffins I gotta say. The MC is a clueless virgin type but not annoyingly uwu, she's just horny and committed to her job lol I also find the male lead very hot.

No. 543807

>>543798
it's because they are claiming to be real models, anon. that or pretending they are with actual photogs.

No. 543813

File: 1587424013806.png (596.46 KB, 943x753, dracu-smile.png)

>>543611
Bless. I just read a fic that had some of the spiciest dirty talk.I dunno, some female authors have an amazing knack for it. Also, so many well written sex scenes. It's all i can do to keep sane during this quarantine is read, read, read.

No. 543849

anons here seem to forget that Omegaverse was a thing that happened, Seriously it’s just a lazy excuse to write men as women.

No. 543857

>>543849
omegaverse mpreg shit is niche tho
fanwork is vast, there's distinction between 13 year olds on Ao3 and women who put actual effort in making sexy DJ and fics or light novels

No. 543858

>>543849
Who cares? Are women not allowed to find both female and male traits attractive at the same time? Doesn't it make sense that girls would still be aroused by female sexuality and occasionally project it on men they write? I wouldn't call it lazy either, writers put a lot of thought into the world building for it. It's almost OTT how much detail they put into ABO tropes.

I get finding it gross or weird but fucking hell, it's so harmless.

No. 543863

>>543858
it’s literally just fetishized sexism, also most of the time women were nonexistent in those fics and omegas could self-lubricate so you didn’t need to have idea how gay sex works, which ends in the perfect fujoshi, no women what so ever fantasy!

No. 543865

>>543863
Again, so fucking what? Why should women feel obligated to write women into their porn? Can't men be the objects for once? Can't women take a step back from always being the sexualized half of a couple? Why can't men be unrealistically lubed up and fuckable when we're always portrayed that way, which is nothing like reality?

It fetishizes sexist roles to an extent but they've gone out of their way to ensure it's not women who are on the receiving end of the sexism. Plus a tonne of the stories are big SJWesque take downs of sexism against omegas anyway.

Girls really can't have anything, huh? Even harmless stories are a moral failing, meanwhile men are fapping to trafficked and abused teens on the regular.

No. 543867

>>543865
Hard to believe when most fujoshis hate other women

No. 543868

>>543849
AO3 is full of that shit, sometimes is call "trans male character" so it make it woke lmao, but is still a thing

>>543865 i don't really care, but anon i may ask, why you get so trigger by people not liking porn? also know fujoshis they then to let out women becase they hate them so

No. 543870

>>543800
Because this is a fujo artist I expected some male objectification, but mostly the girl is naked. She also acts like an autistic 12 yo old. Is there any manga that isn't like this?

No. 543871


No. 543873

>>543865
this isn't about male sexual objectification, its about how the omegas are literally just written as women and function as women

No. 543877

>>543873
They are literally writing about men… They pick male characters with male bodies, because they are interested in those particular men. They could write about women if they wanted, but clearly all they want to do is incorporate some female experiences they find arousing/appealing without writing entirely about actual women, because they are more attracted to men and want to put men in these situations instead.

It's not even that deep. Most ABO focuses on the romance of being attracted to people's scents or having bonds, and the convenient plot device of heats pushing people into having sex. It's an absolutely ubiquitous presence in fanfic, there's literally just so much of it that it's fucking absurd to think every single girl writing it is some heinous misogynist who somehow expresses their hatred of women by writing about feminine men.

No. 543880

my older siblings are such fucking losers sometimes. both of them have dumped their kids on my mom now while she foots the new added bills with a slash to her income due to the pandemic reducing her hours.

at this point i think the only ones who aren’t going to constantly be lying and cheating our way through everything are my younger sister and i. too bad she lives halfway across the world now and i’m stuck watching this shit every fucking day

No. 543882

whenever i see people caping for fujos like this i write it off as radfems defending anything women do.

No. 543885

>>543882
aren't radfems lesbians tho

No. 543887

>>543882
Kek Why would radfems cape for anime fans?

No. 543889

>>543877
they are not feminine men, they are literally just women in all but name

No. 543899

>>543849
Omegaverse disappoints me very much, I click on some yaoi with nice art and I get excited to read it until I read the description.

No. 543905

File: 1587437809469.png (245.18 KB, 950x841, umbreon_and_sylveon_vector_by_…)

I have made a good friend this year who's trans. This person has consistently been kind, loyal and we have a ton of fun together. Friend in question is also the first person I've connected with for some time.

My friendship has definitely changed my views on what being transgender is. I don't harbor as strong "TERF" views as a good number of the users here. I used to though but not anymore. Still I there are some stereotypes found in gender critical circles about transgenderism that I think are true. I also feel guilty that I still lurk this site as well given my relationship with this person.

No. 543914

>>543905
It’s easier to believe in a simplistic reality than a complicated, nuanced one.
If you’re confused or conflicted, it’s probably a good thing.

No. 543920

>>543914
Same anon here but you're being kind of vague. Can you tell me straight-up instead of acting like some fortune-teller?

No. 543922

Anons defending mpreg shit here… fuck off, you're as degenerate as the pornsick men you complain about

No. 543924

>>543905
I'm sure your friend is nice and reasonable and isn't trying to invade bathrooms, rape shelters, women's competitions and or forcing you to fuck them. GC trans people exist, they just want to live life safely and quietly without feeling the need to shove themselves into women's spaces and talk over women in women-specific conversations for some egoistic "validation". They can't be loud about any of this though, they'd be accused of uncle-tomming.

No. 543927

>>543922
How do you know they’re the same anons?

No. 543929

>>543924
>your friend is nice and reasonable and isn't trying to invade bathrooms, rape shelters, women's competitions and or forcing you to fuck them.

Yeah, I don't get Yaniv feelings at all. It's just that occasionally, this friend will post something about terfs being awful and whatnot. It feels kinda awkward given that I have yet to disclose having more "terfy" beliefs in the past (and still some to an extent).

No. 543930

I'm crushing on an obese ex of mine that I dated more than six years ago. He was genuinely a harmless huey but at the time he wasn't doing well financially and it drove me nuts because we lived two hours apart so I had to put in effort to make it work. I think he's cute (tall, cute face, a nervous stutter, okay dick) but a bit too fat. Truth be told, his drunk mother would be a terrible in-law. She was always soliciting him to pay her bills. Maybe the reason why he was nice to women is because his mom guilted him and he had to step up. I have his sister on my facebook still, she's a trainwreck too but not unlikeable at least even though she's a sad sack most the time.

I think I like him because he's one of the only guys who didn't treat me like shit and I broke up for a tangible reason that had nothing to do with him being a bad person per se, just not who I needed at the time. It doesn't matter, I moved out of state so I don't think it could work out even if it were a possibility but he's liking my facebook stuff recently and I think he's noticing me again. I feel a little sad. It just wouldn't do unless he got an amazing career out of nowhere, which is unlikely as he's just a low paid baker.

No. 543932

I used to have a choking phobia and it messed with my eating habits. I don't eat in public or in front of my family. But I have to keep trying… not like I can avoid having people take me out to eat or anything.

No. 543937

File: 1587444807704.jpg (46.02 KB, 421x421, charms.jpg)

>>543932
Interesting anon. Me too except mine went away as a child. I went through a phase where I was chewing and spitting out my food and could only tolerate soft foods like potato if that. I lost a ton of weight enough to the point where my mom threatened me with the doctor and all the horrid shit they'd do to me if I didn't eat. Well shots scared me so I braved choking haha.

What started it for you? Or was there nothing to pinpoint it to? For me it was when I accidentally swallowed one of pic related too early. I wasn't really choking but this happened right before I went to bed, and the candy just didn't travel down my throat correctly so it felt like a jabbing pain like it was scraping my spine almost. It felt stuck in me like it never went to my stomach. I suffered maybe an hour of existential horror hoping it would go away so I wouldn't have to wake up my dad, but I did. He didn't do anything cause I wasn't choking lmao. I went back to bed with the discomfort and trauma yet somehow woke up in the morning. I was convinced I had 'choked' so I avoided a lot of food. Meat gristle, crunchy dry foods, etc. Just nope.

Now I love all the weird textured foods. I'm still a bit self-conscious about eating in front of other people just because I know that I've been judged and shamed. But it gets easier, I assure you.

No. 543940

>>543905
I don't hate trans people, I just think they're mentally ill

No. 543944

>>543929
It's really not a good sign that you have an easier time confessing anything to anons than to someone supposedly close to you.

I see that person uses degrading terms for your beliefs and you being afraid they will judge you.
None of that is a good basis for friendship.

State your mind to them directly (no apologizing for your thoughts!), and see how they react. If respectfully, you've started a good friendship. If they try to shame you, drop that shit.

No. 543960

>>543929
Why do they hate terfs though? It isn't terfs killing trans women that's men. It just happens to be trans women who hate being called out as men and being told not to invade women's spaces. Since your friend takes issue with this they're most likely fuck terfs or GC women. So anon, have you actually told this person what you believe in? Basic biology? Would this person chimp the fuck out?

No. 543962

>>543960
mtfs want validation from women, and ftms are sjws so they'll focus on small things they can influence i.e. women on social media

No. 543964

The amount of anons on here who have confessed that their father's have sexually abused them makes me really paranoid and scared to meet someone and have children.

No. 543970

File: 1587458068772.jpg (60.2 KB, 564x564, 5300ad64596fadba7e1de6bcb514e3…)

I know it's got to be some kind of repressed trauma or mental illness, but as far as I know I've never been sexually assaulted, so I'm not sure why it manifests into… this..

But I want to be raped, gang fucked, drugged and used while unconscious, treated like a dog. I like painful anal, I mean painful, like crying bleeding feeling like I'm going to pass out. Being hit, and I mean really hit, especially in the face, makes me orgasm. I've had forceful rough sex while screaming 'no' (though it was pre-agreed upon to be like this, so it wasn't "real" rape). He switched to anal part way through (it'd been discussed before but not pre-negotiated for this instance), and I "wanted" it so I didn't use any kind of safe word, but I also "didn't" want it, because I hadn't prepared for it. I felt so used and disgusted after, I cried for hours and hours. and it made me orgasm so much, even though it felt like my insides were being sharply stabbed in the moment. I think about it all the time now, I want it again so badly. I fantasize all the time "wishing" I would be sexually abused, even though I understand 'rationally' that's not something that should be done to anyone… I still want it. A man fell asleep next to me on the plane and his hand brushed against my leg, and I found myself desperately excited/wishing he was 'testing the waters' to touch me. (He wasn't).

I used to whore myself for a while, it was mostly for easy money and I can't say it was enjoyable to me sexually (the guys usually wanted vanilla-y fantasies, they were not fun, or rough, or anything special; they didn't treat me poorly, try to force, hurt or not pay me, or anything like people stereotype sex work to be like… they were boring, more boring than any random guy, I just got paid to put up with it).

I am so hopelessly obsessed with my current partner, and he's happy to "roleplay" some of these things with me or treat me badly to an extent, but when it comes down to it he cares too much to go through with anything really drastic. I cut myself once to show him my devotion after we'd gotten into a fight, and he admitted it was hot in theory but that he was against it and upset I would hurt myself. I wish he would make me cut myself. I don't want to die, I just have such want for permanent destruction caused this way. It isn't necessarily against myself, either? At least not consciously. Just the concept gets me off. Though I don't care much for sadism, so I don't really aim to do such to others. I sometimes read "rape survivor" stories and things, and I didn't originally mean to read them for this reason, but in the end I get off to the idea that they're permanently ruined/damaged in that way. I still don't "wish" it on any other human, and gender doesn't seem to matter to me, gay rape is just as good as straight rape, it's purely just that concept of 'ruining' that gets me. I've recently started using too large toys to stretch myself out until I am sore and bleeding; even though I know this may make me unattractive to any current sexual partners if it leads to my holes becoming gaping.

I sometimes wonder if it stems from the trauma of how my first serious relationship ended, but I remember I'd 'liked' rape and abuse fantasies outside of the 'normal' kind since I first started sexual exploration as an early teen. I wish I could blame "porn sickness" or whatever they call it, but watching the videos online just bores me? They are all so fake? I even tried to find "real" ones on the darknet before, but there was too much CP which doesn't interest me what so ever.

I don't really feel consciously like I hate myself, I actually am a very prideful person outside of this aspect of my life… I truly don't understand why I am like this, or want this, or why it turns me on to be hurt? I don't think it's the same as classic masochism either, as I don't care for BDSM-esque things at all, it's something in the breaking, degradation, wrecking someone so irreparably? I day dream about my partner murdering and raping me, making me fuck animals, whoring me out to disgusting unattractive and old men. But unlike a normal kink/fantasy, I really do enjoy abuse and pain and suffering?

I used to do drugs and put myself in 'dangerous' situations but no one ever took advantage of me. I would start fights but the men were too scared of hurting a woman? Even when my ex-roommates boyfriend started beating her, I grabbed him by the throat and he quit and sobbed because he was 'scared of me'? I am a small woman, nothing about me, outside of my fucked up desires, should be 'scary'…? I was beat and almost stabbed once by an exboyfriend, I wonder sometimes if that's part of what triggered this.

I really don't know what causes me to feel this way, I know many people will think I am disgusting because so many people have suffered through such things unwillingly.. yet I feel how I feel, and here I am to confess.

Picture unrelated, I just find the art pretty.

No. 544002

File: 1587465943776.jpeg (68.43 KB, 800x450, 2DB8B186-4C93-407F-BD7E-4532F9…)

Whenever people post this screenshot it makes me feel like crying for some reason. I find it so cute and sweet and it always makes me wish I had kids. I hope I have a family someday.

No. 544007

I've been feeling really self conscious for a while for my uninterest in makeup. Everytime a pic of a disgusting troon is posted, people point out that he's been socialized as a male because he doesn't know how to do makeup and that girls naturally learn to do it. I've also seen some women calling makeupfree women pickmes because they want to go natural. I've always been a bit uncomfortable while wearing some, while I've never been disgusted or bothered by my face, so I never felt the need to get into it, but now, I almost feel abnormal.

No. 544018

>>543970
Seek help before you kill yourself.

No. 544021

>>544007
Ignore retards and do your own thing. As long as you aren't vocal about it i doubt someone would try to pick on it.

No. 544022

>>544007
Me too, I like my face with no or just very little makeup but I feel paranoid that I must be delusional and it looks horrible to everyone else or something

No. 544057

>>543970
What was your upbringing like? Do you come from a strictly religious household or community obsessed with female purity? And did feel lots of shame and guilt growing up?

No. 544060

>>544007
Get over yourself and stop concerning yourself with the opinions of the mentally ill and anonymous strangers.

How mentally fragile are you where your choices are this affected by literal anonymous strangers?

No. 544145

>>543970
if it makes you feel any better, i'm similar, but i'm more into hardcore BDSM. i love the thought of being degraded, humiliated, helpless, power exchange, being an object, etc. i can definitely say my interests have gotten more hardcore over the years from being exposed to more porn, but recently i've been struggling and questioning why i am originally into it.
i've had the desire to be tied up my whole life. one of my first memories is when i was 4 years old and i saw someone tied to a chair in a disney movie, so i tried tying myself to a chair. another time when (also probably 4) i was watching aladdin with my dad. the scene where he was underwater and gagged was really uncomfortable to watch with him. i felt "different" when i saw characters tied up. i had no idea what sex was but i knew feeling different when seeing these things was taboo and something not to talk about.
i had a really good life, a great upbringing with supportive over-protective parents. could i have possibly repressed some kind of trauma when i was younger?
i remember not liking an uncle when i was super young that visited from out of state a few days every year. i never had a reason to not like him (i was 3-4) but assuming he did something is tinfoil. and no way in hell would i ever ask my parents if something happened.

now i feel i'm at moral odds with myself. i recently stumbled onto a horrorcore documentary that involved things that really turned me on. i feel so dirty, uncomfortable, and ashamed knowing that what occured wasn't at all consensual.
it sucks having this internal sexual desire for these things, but at the same time knowing most of the time it happens to unwilling women. idk how to feel or how i should feel about it.
ugh
hang in there, anon. stay safe. don't get yourself hurt. i recommend you check out fetlife. establish consensual non-consent with people you trust.

No. 544151

>>543970
I'm highly suspicious of any man willing to abuse their girlfriends even if they "allow" and "like" it. Even worse, if the man enjoys doing it. Huge red flag.

I want to believe this is a troll or a very mentally unwell woman. No sane person is into those things you described.

No. 544219

I am pornsick and it disgusts me. I relapsed today and looked at a really disgusting hentai. Afterwards I felt horrible and worthless. At least I can no longer stomach porn with real people. Sometimes I wish I didn’t grow up using the internet.

No. 544237

>>544151
They’ve been in these threads before. Either they want help (go see a fucking therapist) or this is part of their fetish.
I’m inclined to believe it’s a scrote.

No. 544238

>>543970
>I don't really feel consciously like I hate myself
But then
>I want to be raped, gang fucked, drugged and used while unconscious, treated like a dog. I like painful anal, I mean painful, like crying bleeding feeling like I'm going to pass out.
>I used to whore myself for a while
>I cut myself once to show him my devotion after we'd gotten into a fight
>I used to do drugs and put myself in 'dangerous' situations

No. 544247

>>544057
I did have a somewhat chaotic/abusive childhood but it was more from the young age/immaturity of my parents not knowing better. I can't say it was any of those things otherwise, though I have read that many women who do experience rape fantasies enjoy them because it takes away the guilt of a female enjoying sex… So I can fathom how an extreme case of that could warp into something like this? If I do feel anything like that it must be very repressed.

>>544145
Thanks Anon, this actually did help me quite a lot. I've also tried desperately to search my memory for some instance in my childhood that might've been sexual abuse, but even though I showed a lot of related symptoms, I also can't really narrow anything down beyond grasping at straws. I wish you the best as well and sincerely appreciate your post, I am so expectant of reactions like these:
>>544238
>>544151
>>544237
I'd come to feel very … Well, alone; I think to an extent thinking I was the only one or very wrong to desire these things was adding to my want to put myself through them.

>>544237
I don't remember if I've posted in the confession threads before, but if I have I've never discussed this or anything similar to it.

I also really hate the mentality that you couldn't think something like this unless you were a man? I'm willing to agree it may well be mental illness, but the idea I can't be fucked up in this way just because of my ovaries is sexism in itself. We aren't some divine beings, anon, no matter how many pinkpill threads you sub to, we're all human and capable of the same things (even the fucked up things). Never could wrap my head around why girls here and guys on 4chan couldn't get past the concept of their ding a lings being the reason for virtue or sin and not just seeing our species as a whole, being capable of whatever thoughts feelings or traits.

No. 544264

>>544247
I was sympathetic to you, since I do have extreme self harming fantasies prompted by csa and porn. But your last paragraph makes me think you're just a shit pot of porn sickness, edge and lack of hobbies. You either grow out of it or you die. Natural selection and whatnot.
>we're all human and capable of the same things (even the fucked up things)
Kek you're one of those. Way to miss the point. The difference is statistically, scientifically, women have little to no trouble NOT actually committing atrocities, regardless of how -capable- they are of them.

No. 544265

>>544219
I'm with you Anon, I'm the same. Also relapsed today and also wish I hadn't had such free access to Internet all my childhood.
I think it's very common for millenials to be traumatized by porn

No. 544266

>>544247
alright bitch go get raped and shut the fuck up.

No. 544267

>>544145
>don't get yourself hurt
>so try bdsm
That's completely retarded and you need to take a hard look at what you're doing. You all need therapy, not your paraphilias to be exploited by wannabe rapists.

No. 544280

>>544277
i hope you die next time your bf chokes you :)

No. 544283

>>544280 was a reply to what i deleted

>>544247
good! i'm glad you are feeling less alone. just don't put yourself in dangerous situations.
and it is interesting to think of the difference between male and female expectations with things like this. we have a femmedom thread in /g, but if we had a maledom thread i would think there would probably be a lot of uproar.

i never asked or groomed myself to be into what i am into. the fetish was always there. the first time i purposely "explored" BDSM was probably as a freshman in high school with reading the adult section of answerbag.com (lulz) and then started watching porn after i became sexually active at 17.

>>544267
thanks for your concern for my sex life. people have different tastes. everyone likes different movies, music, kinds of people, hobbies… why isn't it acceptable for people have different sexual preferences?

there is the (unlikely) chance i was sexually assaulted as a small child and that's what caused my interests. At this point though, it'd be a hell of a lot more traumatizing to find out i was sexually assaulted as a baby than if i continued to enjoy my consensual, safe sex life.

>deleted to repost with this

to add, i do think it's wrong for people to plaster their fetishes all over sites that aren't dedicated to sex. i believe people who make their fetishes their identity or persona in vanilla spaces are very harmful.

No. 544285

>>544283
Oh so you clearly have no issues with your degeneracy and no desire to change. And your original whinging post was just for attention. Case closed. You can stfu now.

No. 544298

>>544283
>safe sex life
Okay, we'll talk about it when you're the next victim of "sex games gone wrong" and your murdered gets off scott free because you degenerates normalized violent acts instead of intimacy and pleasure.

Wanting to be in pain is not a sexual preference, it is self harm it is not helping your mental health. Wanting to inflict pain is not a sexual preference, it's a sign of a dangerous individual that you should absolutely not be vulnerable to.

Again. Use your brain for once and get out of you "uwu bdsm" echo chambers.

No. 544301

>>544283
>everyone likes different movies, music, kinds of people, hobbies… why isn't it acceptable for people have different sexual preferences?
Anon really said "Some people like Disney movies, some people like Nirvana, some people like flower-arranging. I like to be mentally and physically abused for sexual pleasure. Why isn't that acceptable? Just my preference", kek.
It's funny how no one sane thinks it's good if a person self-harms just for the sake of it, but if it's to get an orgasm, we're supposed to act like there's nothing wrong with it.

No. 544315

>>543970
I hate women like you. You don't deserve to be defended or excused.

No. 544323

>>543970
>>544145
Gotta admit I like a lot of fucked up sexual shit too, but I keep that to myself and understand why others would think it's unhealthy and degrading because to an extent it definitely is. I can't pinpoint how exactly these things developed in me, but I accept them for what they are and know they are unacceptable to others.

No offense if your posts are genuine but all you're doing is stirring the pot, lolcow culture doesn't not tolerate fetish shit.

No. 544349

>>544283
>why isn't it acceptable for people have different sexual preferences? there is the (unlikely) chance i was sexually assaulted as a small child and that's what caused my interests.
You better not try to imply it's okay because muh coping mechanism bullshit or start crying about kinkshaming.

No. 544378

File: 1587520559952.jpg (13.6 KB, 400x300, DNMODm3V4AED3sv.jpg)

>>544265
Sorry to hear it also happened to you. I think I just need to stay away from "triggers" for it, as accidentally seeing porn in random places online and then things escalating from there is the most common situation for me. I need to close that tab or whatever and distract myself immediately. But the first step is acknowledging that it's a problem instead of normalizing it– I believe we're gonna make it, anon

No. 544379

>>544349
You should grow up and mind your business.

No. 544381

>>544378
I'm sick of seeing that gay ass cat everywhere

>>544379
'Mind your business' is a meaningless sentence in this situation, when anon is literally telling us her life

No. 544382

>>544381
lmao, unrelated but same about the cat

No. 544383

>>544378
>as accidentally seeing porn in random places online and then things escalating from there is the most common situation for me
same for me

No. 544395

File: 1587523942254.jpg (7.08 KB, 299x168, 1434078628703.jpg)

>in love with bf
>still have desire to fuck other guys

I'd never do it, and I know that guys feel this way even if they love their SOs, but this shit weighs on my conscience constantly

No. 544400

>>544395
eh i don't think that's something to feel so guilty about
you know you won't do it, you don't actively fantasize about it (right?)
you just experience physical attraction like a normal person

No. 544406

>>544323
Eh, I'm the original anon and I came here just to "confess" or vent it out and self reflect openly, not get a bunch of sympathy or justification.

Though having the other anon chime in with her experience did help me, it wasn't what I expected and I knew fully I'd likely get hate for posting what I did (I mention that at the end of my post, I think?).

Overall, I had a great day being degraded by my partner, fucking myself til my cunt was numb, and took a glance back here while bored, so my life goes on (or until I die from my fetishes or whatever). In fact, finally venting this here helped me admit it more openly to my partner today, and I can safely say I think I'll be more sexually satisfied from here on out. Overall, a good result in my books. Even if it's not the ideal lolcow ethical result of intensive therapy or what-have-you, I haven't really dedicated my life to appeasing the collective hivemind of the farm just yet.

No. 544421


No. 544423

>>544406
Sad case.

No. 544426

File: 1587534311012.gif (9.71 MB, 311x177, rotating ron.gif)

>>543849
God I hate Omegaverse so fucking much. It's so transparently homophobic. I assume the people who write Omegaverse are the same sort of people who ask gay couples "who the woman is" in the relationship.

Also Omegaverse is supposedly based off of wolves, but that's not how wolves work, either. Unrelated wolves only form heirarchies in captivity. In the wild, packs are just immediate families, and the "alphas" are literally just the parents of the other wolves. So basically autistic virgins who are into Omegaverse don't understand gay people or animals.

Like if I'm going to read a slashfic, it's going to be about normal people who fuck with lube and condoms.

>>543889
This. Half the guys in these fics are uke stereotypes who self-lubricate and get pregnant. They're basically flat-chested girls with puny dicks.

ABO is 100% just written by people who are uncomfortable with how actual gay people work. They can't fathom the idea of a relationship that doesn't involve reproducing.

>>543865
God damn this bad-faith attack on fujoshis is as old as the goddamn dinosaurs. 1) Anecdotally, the only truly women-hating fujoshis I've met are the ones hat become fakebois, and 2) I fail to see how jerking off to gay porn means a woman hates other women. No one ever accuses the deluge of men that like lesbian porn of hating other men.

No. 544431

I had an abortion a few years ago. At the time it was the right decision. I went from one relationship into a rebound and got pregnant real quick in my party phase. Now I am 6 years with the dame dude and turning 31 in a month. We were gonna start buying a house and wedding planning (not engaged but we dont feel its necessary) while we live at home with his family to save up. Then all this covid shit started, and every plan we had was out on hold. I feel like I'll be fucking 50 when everything settles and I will live with regret that the one chance I could have maybe had a child, was terminated. Never had a regret through these years about that decision we made until now

No. 544466

Someone in my family did gross things to me a few times over the span of a decade. It could have been worse (he rubbed against me under cover of doing something else, and exposed himself to me) but I was 13 the first time. Every time I repress it and forget about it for months or years at a time until I remember, break down, and take a while to recover. This person is still very present in my life and I don't want to confront him. I just wanted to let this out because I don't know anyone I can talk to about this.

No. 544467

>>544426
anon what are you talking about? abo is for people with mpreg fetishes or uncontrollable lust/heat fetishes plus others im sure i cant think of right now. no need to go on a rampage on how its "homophobic" n shit since its not even real. also most fanfics not realistic, ive yet to read one where the guy cleans his ass out or while fucking they run into shit or something lmfao. btw to clarify im not that into abo either, it just one of those 'dont like dont read' things for me. so far the only thing i can think of that pisses me off supremely is when people dont tag tranny shit, 2 guys about to fuck and 1 has a pussy all of a sudden? literally what the fuck. fucking tumblrfags ruin everything, cant wait for tranny culture to be over

No. 544468

>>544466
I don't know your situation, but please cut him out of your life if you can. You don't deserve to have someone in your life who causes/has caused you so much pain.

No. 544471

>>544466
i hope the poison fairy poisons his food

No. 544476

Never had a relationship lasting more than a year and i lost the infatuation in 3 months max.

I have accepted that i will die alone.

No. 544483

>>544476
I also tend to lose attraction about 3 months in but then I still waste another 3 years with them anyway.. I'm at the point now where I might just opt out of dating altogether

No. 544486

I am 100% straight. Sometimes I go on /s/ on 4chan and browse the threads and I truly don’t know why. It doesn’t arouse me or bring me any sort of pleasure.

No. 544495

>>544486
I visited it to see what you were talking about and I don't get it? It's just a bunch of pics of naked girls

No. 544511

>>544486
Now you're 99% straight.

No. 544524

>>544476
Same except I've been seeing someone for 3 months and still feel very infatuated.
Maybe my curse is lifted. If it's true I'll pray for you anon.

No. 544531

>>544379
Just don't treat csa like an "uwu don't critizise me for my shitty fetishes" label you can fake to shield yourself with.

No. 544552

>>544511
Nta but I fucking lold

No. 544570

>>544426
>God I hate Omegaverse so fucking much. It's so transparently homophobic. I assume the people who write Omegaverse are the same sort of people who ask gay couples "who the woman is" in the relationship.
Lmao damn anon, it's not that deep. It's just an impregnation/marking fetish combined with a longing for a nursing wholesome family setting with two guys. Get a grip. I don't like omegaverse myself but you're going way overboard with your tinfoiling. It's just a fantasy world of what-ifs, not some complicated political stand based on homophobia.

No. 544572

>>544406
You're pathetic. No one's worried about you, we're just laughing at the degenerate cumbrain that you are.

No. 544581

One my current closest friends is actually a girl I used to hate follow online. I didn't even met her before, I just came across her DA profile one day and decided to dislike her. I never interacted with her or trolled her or anything, I just actively checked her social media accounts to see if she posted anything new to think her art was ugly and that she was dumb. As you can see, I was not in a good place mentally, I don't really know why I did that, she was not particularly famous or anything. Then I came to her booth at an anime con, actually liked her stuff and talked with her (I had already mellowed out considerably by that time), and six years after, we are very close and hang out pretty often (we live in the same city). I feel bad about this even though I never did anything, and I obviously never told her (or anyone else for that matter), so I kinda wanted to confess it anonymously.

No. 544584

>>544572
>You're pathetic

Careful anon, your insults will surely only arouse her

No. 544587

>>544584
what if she only wrote all this stuff to get off to our mean replies.. FUCK

No. 544589

>>544431
That's stupid anon. For all you know a child could have severely altered the course of your relationship at the time for the worst, you might not even be together today because oopsie pregnancies don't typically end well. Perhaps it would have devastated you where you wouldn't be able to buy a house yet and couldn't afford a wedding because a baby would have set you back financially for years.
And what, you'd honestly want to deal with a six year old in lockdown and no school? LOL, don't be fooled. Parents are salty and losing their shit from being trapped inside with their kids right now. And to top it all off, this is not the kind of world you'd want your child to experience. You've got your 30s yet, cool it.

No. 544590

>>544426
>Also Omegaverse is supposedly based off of wolves, but that's not how wolves work, either.
this part annoys me WAY more than the gay thing lmao, and i say that as a lesbian who has written alpha/alpha, omega/omega and alpha/omega fic. wolves dont behave like that!! saged for autism

No. 544604

>>543865
>Why can't men be unrealistically lubed up and fuckable when we're always portrayed that way, which is nothing like reality?
This. So many times this. Men write shit like cervix penetration, shower-like squirting and clitdicks all the time and nobody minds it because "it's just degenerate porn for scrotes, who cares", but when women take anatomical liberties and write whatever outlandish shit they want to fantasize about it's all politics with ~evil homophobic fetishization~ and ~internalized cool girl misogyny~ and whatever labels nonnies want to slap on it today. If a woman wants to write a steamy fic with a boypussy getting slammed then let her. I can't believe people are going full horseshoe and side-eyeing female writers for being liberal with their sexuality and making men their unrealistic sex objects for once. Should women only write sappy, romantic, fluffy vanilla erotica like a good christian housewife?

No. 544608

>>544581
This happened to me. I'm now close friends with a person I used to despise and hate-follow, I just happened to meet her under better circumstances years later and she was a witty, funny, intelligent person with a lot of talent. Granted I was a lot older and matured at the point I got to meet her but it just goes off to show you that never burn bridges or put your unwarranted hate on display because you never know who you'll befriend.

No. 544615

>>544581
I get you, Anon. I used to feel guilty about something similar too but a friend told me randomly something like "some of the best friendships are formed from hate". That made me realise that realistically I think a lot of people initially have negative feelings towards the people they end up friends with. In the end, it's just temporary emotions that are only as serious as you make them. It's the time you've spent with her and your actions as her friend that actually matter. And if you hadn't been interested in her profile in some way then you wouldn't have ended up friends with her, right?

If you ever do want to tell her, I would suggest bringing up your first impressions of each other or something like that. I don't know what kind of person she is but I think I would just find it funny if my close friend told me exactly what you did (I wouldn't be worried to tell my friends either). I think not telling her is completely fine too because you clearly don't feel that way anymore (the fact you're still worried about it after 6 years shows that).

No. 544621

>>544495
>I don't get it? It's just a bunch of pics of naked girls
I don’t get why I do it either lmao. I guess part of it is weirdly interesting to me? Like seeing what guys like. Also sometimes there are “vintage” and “amateur” threads on there which catch my attention because the people in those threads always look so normal? It can boost my self esteem sometimes. I guess it’s a mix of reasons but I only do it once in a while.

>>544511
Kek i guess

No. 544627

>>544621
> Also sometimes there are “vintage” and “amateur” threads
My guilty pleasure is vintage porn/erotic pics. Back before fake tan, fake boobs and hairless bodies.

No. 544766

I ghosted an online friend I've known for four years because she turned out to be ugly

No. 544777

im black but i used to go on /pol/ almost everyday when i was 13/14 and wanted their validation so bad i became "racist" and told my friends that i wouldnt mind being a slave and that whites are superior. im so scared that one day theyll post all the texts i send them on social media and everyone will hate me bc of how dumb i used to be

No. 544782

>>544777
I never took it that far but I also used to be obsessed with going on there and stormfront partly because it made me in my head feel better (more prepared kind of?) to atleast be aware of what these people actually thought but also I think I just enjoyed making myself upset. I can kind of understand the wanting to be validated though because I went through a phase where I wanted validation from incels somewhat. You were really young, I hope that never happens to you, and don't think it will but I think even if it did people would maybe understand? I don't think your experience is actually that uncommon to various degrees, I think a lot of people from ethnic backgrounds go through a self hate phase that they hopefully come out of… whenever I've seen /pol/ meetups or various people who talk about using it, they're usually always not white, it's very strange and pathetic. It almost invokes sympathy.

No. 544783

I tell my friends I hate musicals but honestly I have no problem with them and they're fun and a lot of the music is good but I won't ever admit it. They're embarrassing.

No. 544795

>>544782
>>544777
I can relate, even if I didn't go that far and I don't care about racists now, I still fixate on "groups" who don't like me and I'm like… how do I get validation from them. I think it's telling that all of these are considered superior by the world, I feel like I'm in such an unfortunate place socially, and probably a bootlicker.

No. 544868

File: 1587607190823.jpg (284.82 KB, 783x819, kp.jpg)

fuck i want a housewife!! maybe it's just because i'm a lonely ass 'career woman' who doesn't know how to cook or anything but there's something that's so incredibly sexy to me about having a partner who takes care of the house and cooks. my last crush said that was her dream job and now i can't stop thinking about how that's exactly what i want. i would spoil the absolute shit out of her and i know it's exactly the kind of thing that would motivate me to try harder and harder in my field.
of course, i know this is something abnormal to expect or want from my relationships. fuck this gay earth.

No. 544872

>>544777
>>544782
same for me, funny thing is my white bf was disgusted by this fetish and threatened to dump me unless I learn to stop being such a cumbrain, talking about it with another a human being helped greatly

No. 544875

>>544868
bitch same

No. 544876

>>544868
omg i would love to be the housewife of a sexy rich lady, that's like my dream job but everyone thinks i'm just being lazy by not wanting to work ugh

No. 544883

One of the kids i watch at my daycare who is a preteen is a little manipulative shit . she steals, hits my infant kids, says super rude shit, and imo is going to grow up to be an entitled sociopath. Sometimes i just tell her mom she was really bad bc i know she is gonna get a whoopin when she gets home . i mean she usually IS bad. But i refrain from telling the 6 other parents i watch kids for that theyre fuckin up unless i have to write an incident report. I know she's a kid. But sometimes u can just tell who's gonna end up in prison in 5 years tried as an adult LEL

No. 544890

>>544883
Why are people who work with kids the meanest bitches? It's weird that you're even on this site.

No. 544894

>>544883
why is a preteen at your daycare? And why she hitting infants? There's some serious shit going on there.

No. 544898

i never liked nikkietutorials make up, it always was ugry to me like a draga queen make up but tampe? somehow, and even before i knew about him been trans, her voice and manerisme were off

No. 544902

>>544890
I honestly think its due to some power fantasy, wanting to cruel others and be viewed as superior

No. 544904

I hate her with all I have in me. I wish she would disappear completely from my life, I wish I never met her. I dread every time she talks to me because there’s nothing good in her for me to like, absolutely nothing.

No. 544909

I know exactly how I'll feel ~15 years from now and preparing for it is like bracing for the impact of a motor vehicle accident. I almost have everything ready

No. 544914

>>544890
>>544894
Her mom pawns her off on me because she cant deal with her. I like her but she's already dealt with cops over beating her own sister

No. 544954

>>544909

What's gonna happen 15 years from now?

No. 544956

All that fujo talk makes me want to confess. For some reason, i'm more into straight or lesbo porn even thought i'm a fujo no gay smut makes me cum, especially real gay porn it's just bleh. I think bl is like an emotional porn to me, especially it's with my fav male characters who i find just so much more admirable if they were with a dude. Is it because i need to identify with a side in porn to get off? who knows

No. 544982

Months ago I was so close to post about my best friend in the annoying friends thread. I’m lucky I didn’t, I’m so lucky I didn’t…

No. 544989

>>544954
Nta but, the meteor, climate change, various countries that will probably be in civial war or becoming dictatorships, pic one.

No. 545000

i eat poop

No. 545002

>>545000
And I drink piss

No. 545004

>>544868
I wouldn't mind to be a housewife for a career lady. I'm a writer so I'd still do something on the side, but I'd enjoy taking care of my gf in that way.

No. 545009

>>544982
Why worry even if you did? Whoever gets assblasted for seeing how their behavior can annoy other people are insecure as fuck and can't handle any criticism. Then again I'd actually want to improve as a person so idk maybe I'm just introspective like that.

No. 545021

File: 1587653528170.jpg (50.46 KB, 1024x1024, myheart.jpg)

>>545004
You sound really cute, anon. Writing/Reading is a major hobby of mine and it would be the perfect thing to bond with a partner over. I would read all of my housewife's stories religiously.

No. 545065

File: 1587663853128.jpg (48.24 KB, 737x737, 1571861841611.jpg)

>>545021
That'd be adorable. Proposal when?

No. 545115

>>545021
>>545065
I now pronounce you Workwife and Housewife. You may kiss the bride.

No. 545181

File: 1587680143750.jpg (308.15 KB, 930x698, 3c5f2561788314ccf28a047fcab94e…)

i weirdly love rooms like these a lot and i really want mine to look like it too but it also has massive nasty neckbeard who faps to loli vibes

ugh

No. 545188

>>545021
>>545065
kek! geez get a room you two!

>>545115
yall need to invite us to the wedding!

No. 545189

>>545181
imagine having to clean it tho

No. 545192

i dont know if this is a confession but i have this really funny personal cow and have a ton of milk, but im to scared to post her to snow because id feel really guilty and im also scared she might kill herself, and that it would all be my fault.

No. 545197

>>545189
I personally hate rooms like this, but this doesn't look too difficult since there is a bunch of hard flat surfaces.
>>545181
The thing that frustrates me about owning a ton of shit is the idea that one day your going to have to pack all that shit up if you need to move house. Then, you just have to question if all this trouble is worth it.

No. 545209

>>545192
You're in the right to not want to post it, anon. Don't do it.

No. 545210

>>544956
Makes sense that you would need to physically identify with someone in porn to get off. As far as I can tell, the emotional aspect of BL is the main draw for most fujos, anyway. (Plus, since the characters are on equal social footing with each other, it's your chance to enjoy a romantic story without the baggage that might come with it otherwise, there's been a lot written about this)

Personally I like buttsex between husbandos as much as the next GW fanfic author, but if that were the only thing BL had to offer, I wouldn't have stuck around

No. 545223

>>544590
>i say that as a lesbian who has written alpha/alpha, omega/omega and alpha/omega fic
>alpha/alpha, omega/omega
Patrician taste. Omega/omega is hot, especially when they're super sweet and domestic with each other and their heats sync up so they're twice as needy and twice as loving and attentive during sex.
I'm really picky about omegaverse fic though, because I can't stand the whole "asspussy" thing where their butt gets "wet" and they get pregnant through their ass. It squicks me out. I prefer my omegas to just be cuntboys/reverse futas.
>>544604
>when women take anatomical liberties and write whatever outlandish shit they want to fantasize about it's all politics with ~evil homophobic fetishization~ and ~internalized cool girl misogyny~ and whatever labels nonnies want to slap on it today
This too.

No. 545230

>>545192
if you that would make you a bigger cow than her, its not worth it anon unless she did something horrible to you or if her behavior is somewhat destructive towards others but if she is working to better herself just leave it alone.

No. 545249

i keep lying to my family about studying, i'm so behind on work and am failing a course right now. i mean to work every day but keep distracting myself endlessly. i just want the year to be over so i can zone out until classes start next year.

No. 545286

File: 1587707680482.png (316.26 KB, 468x468, 4E7F1C61-E17C-4DFB-B758-D0D80C…)

I’ve been having internet fights over dumb shit every day recently because I feel like shit and it helps me to release my miserableness/rage out to an anonymous stranger. I seriously just hate being alive and i know im basically the “loser in a basement who gets angry online” meme

No. 545289

>>545286
Yeah I noticed

No. 545291

>>545289
Noticed what

No. 545294

>>545291
You're doing it again dude

No. 545296

>>545294
no i asked because i paranoid you’re some mod who noticed my unstable mood from my post history and is laughing at me

No. 545332

File: 1587719529731.jpg (33.39 KB, 600x450, 8382aa005af172690128f3439e3df0…)

I didn't know that these quarantine times would affect me so much. I recently moved to a different country and don't have many friends here (and the few people that I started talking to aren't in the "friendship mode" yet). I'm introverted and pretty much all my hobbies revolve into internet and vidya stuff but since I live alone I'm starting to feel like I'm getting more and more depressed without seeing or talking to people irl. Video calls doesn't fix the problem. I didn't know I needed people so much. Yet, at the moment, I don't feel like talking to anyone. I have messages to answer from friends back home but I don't want to nor have the energy. I'm struggling to focus, on work and pretty much everything else. I even haven't had the energy to buy groceries. I just feel apathy towards everything.

No. 545440

I think I'm better than redditfags even though I lurk reddit all the fucking time.

No. 545443

I've significantly cosmetically or surgically altered every single feature on my face. No one in my life knows because it seems like it would be something so out of my character to do no one would ever think it and I did it pretty much as soon as I turned 18 and I'm no longer in touch with anyone who knew me before from school except like 2 people. I have a friend from high school I still talk to via text but I haven't met up with them since before I did it. I want to be able to see them again but I have cancelled everytime we scheduled something because I just don't want to explain it and I know they'd be able to tell because I dont look even like the same person at this point, like if they'd seen it gradually it would maybe be passable as just growing into your features or something but all in one go I know they'll ask a bunch of questions. I saw a girl I used to be friends with and she said I look so different if she passed me in the street she wouldn't have ever recognised me (which makes me extremely happy).

No. 545462

>>545440
we're the same

No. 545470

>>545443
botched queen

No. 545478

>>545470
You would never be able to tell by looking at me like I said no one in my life knows and people make comments like 'you're so naturally pretty' etc because I don't wear makeup or anything, people only notice bad plastic surgery because obviously it stands out so they think all plastic surgery looks like that. Sadly it has honestly made my life so much better and brought so many tangible improvements, the way people treat me is so different, people give women they perceive as attractive so much more power… doing it confirmed everything I kind of hoped wasn't true about people and the world, as a woman deep down all anyone really cares about no matter how much you have going for you (especially men) is how you look

No. 545483

>>545478
Lullll post pic and time stamp. Otherwise you sound like every delulu botched bitch I know.

No. 545485

>>545483
obviously I'm not going to do that? But you can think whatever you want it doesn't change reality and I have no reason to lie in a confession thread on an anonymous board

No. 545489

>>545478
you shouldn't feel too proud of the fact that simps can't tell your a plastic mess

No. 545492

>>545489
I'm not proud or unproud, it just is what it is. I know that there's so many things about me that I have going for me, that I was smart and interesting and intelligent etc even when I was 'conventionally' more unattractive and I don't think how I look should mean anything to the world or says anything about who I am as a person, but I also know that unfortunately wider society in general cares about women's looks above all else, and that changing them improved my life monumentally

No. 545494

>>545492
Stop taking the bait lmao

No. 545495

>>545494
honestly I just kind of like talking about it, bc obviously I never do irl

No. 545500

>>545494
>>545492
atleast attempt to disguise your samefagging damn.

No. 545503

>>545500
report it if you really think it's samefagging because it isn't

No. 545810

File: 1587804463759.jpg (50.93 KB, 700x900, 32688fe3dc1021e864d355ed093616…)

>>544467
>>544570
But like… why even write a fic about gay men if you have a pregnancy/breeding fetish? Just make it straight ffs. Or trannies if you're feeling woke. Also you can have a wholesome fic about gay people being parents. Adoption is a thing. Also the "marking" thing is just ew in general, and ABO certainly has some rapey elements I didn't touch on.

And I have read several fics where cleaning is mentioned, actually. I guess the fandoms I'm in have more actual adults in them.

Agree on the troon shit, though. People need to get better at tagging their lunacy.

>>544590
>>545223
I mean, feel free to enjoy your degenerate fetish. Just know that it's on the same level of cringe as furry shit and NTR. Stop trying to bring feminism into this, I hate all physically impossible fetishes equally. The reason I have such autistic hatred for ABO is that it shits up tags, is often horribly written garbage by 12 year olds, and I just can't suspend my disbelief. It's cliche garbage for middle schoolers, like coffee shop AUs and soulmate fics. "Scent marking" someone and "owning" someone isn't cute, it's creepy and possessive. Have you guys ever actually been in a relationship?

ABO is garbage, and I will never stop judging people for liking it. Same goes with Naruto, the Big Bang Theory, Hetalia, and leggings as pants.

No. 545851

>>544604
>>545223
stop trying to use feminism to defend your fetish alright, men who write disgusting erotica are pornsick and women men who write disgusting erotica also pornsick, its not
>I can't believe people are going full horseshoe and side-eyeing female writers for being liberal with their sexuality and making men their unrealistic sex objects for once. Should women only write sappy, romantic, fluffy vanilla erotica like a good christian housewife?
see its not turning men into sexual objects that are literally function as women in all but name

No. 545857

>>545810
ABO shit is gross as fuck to me too just because the whole mpreg shit squicks me out but
>have you ever been in a relationship
come on man. i like reading yandere shit doesn't mean i want that for my relationship irl. in fact i seek out the complete opposite as i like to be independent from my partner

No. 545862

>>545478
I can believe that, I've seen some well done PS that you would never tell it's manmade. What have you done specifically?

No. 545871

I hope this corona virus keeps going on so I can keep being 'guilt free' of not doing anything with my life rn

No. 545873

File: 1587825230437.jpg (642.71 KB, 1022x731, 8V2Pe15.jpg)

>>545851
It's hilarious how shameless they are. "It's alright to create degenerate porn, because women made it."

No. 545874

Petition to stop fetishizing gay men

No. 545877

>>545851
that's not how it works anon holy shit.

Honestly you all who take fanfic kinks this seriously need to go outside and stop letting it bother you so fucking much. It's not like it's a predatory serial killer child raping scrote living stroking his fantasy out in the open, they're normal docile women who most likely will never act out on this shit IRL and just want to write their stupid fantasy smut
>inb4 found the coomer!!!!
I don't care one bit about this omegaverse and whatever nasty stuff but I'm sick of people making everything into some autistic debate about ethics and moral policing. Just say you think it's gross and that's it, no need for all this sad "sexualizing men is actually misogynistic because you're actually putting them in female positions" clownery

No. 545880

>>545874
>>545877
this isn't about gay men or men at all, I'm saying that all "omegas" are literally just women, they are written as women and function as women in the story, they are not written in a female position cause they are already females

No. 545884

>>545874
fuck off and petition men to stop fetishizing lesbians

No. 545895

>>545874
Are you a gay man? Weirdly enough, I've never seen any actual gay men say that line.
It's always like, 14-24 year old girls and women on Tumblr/Twitter (a lot of which are usually virtue signalling fujos and general coomers themselves).

No. 545897

>>545874
who gives a fuck about men lmao, sit down

No. 545911

>>545874
Lesbian porn is the top category amongst scrotes, how come you’re more concerned with what’s probably fictional character porn as opposed to something actually harmful?

No. 545914

>>545874
ok tumblr

No. 545919

I love my boyfriend a lot, he's so sweet and the kindest guy I've ever met. However he puts no effort into the things he does. He doesn't want to better himself, he doesn't want to put effort into his appearance. He's kind of spineless too and it makes me so angry because he lets the worst people step all over him.

Lately I've been thinking about how I could be going out and dating around because there are guys at my University are very attractive and ambitious. I wouldn't think of cheating on anyone, especially him because I do love him, but I just want him to try. I want him to try for himself and try for me.

I buy him gifts, I put on make up and make myself look nice for him but he doesn't even make the effort to do the same for me. He doesn't even give me gifts for my birthday, I've given him gifts on his birthday since we've been together. I give him comfort when he's sad and he's not even good at comforting me.

I'm tired of feeling like this and feeling like there are better options out there. I would tell him but the last time I told him about something he called me a nag. I don't want to upset him and make him feel like I don't love him or that I don't find him attractive. I don't want to be just comfortable and not put any effort into our relationship.

No. 545922

>>545919
"Kind"? He can't put in effort or even comfort you. He didn't bother to get you something for your birthday, when that would obviously be important to you. He called you a nag ffs when you brought all this up. He might be "kind" but he's not for you. He's not going to change and your resentment will only grow.

Yes, dump him to go date and meet some hot college guys (who already care about their appearance)! Check out femaledatingstrategy (if it's too autistic for you, just don't try to change a man, have high standards and be ready to leave at first red flag).

No. 545927

>>545874
Petition for women to stop assuming gay men take issue with fujoshis. Gay guys don't care unless you're literally hitting on them directly.

They're still men, and men don't get offended by porn. Why are we defending gay men so hard, but let it slide when lesbians get fetishised? This is literally just virtue signalling.

No. 545929

>>545919
please please love yourself. Don't pause your life out of fear of being the asshole who left a nice guy. A nice guy isn't just someone who's timid, a nice guy is someone who CHOOSES to be kind despite being an accomplished , well rounded individual. You said it yourself, he seems spineless and clearly doesn't have the spark for you that would make him want to try for you and grow with you. That, or he does but doesn't feel like he has to do anything beyond what you've allowed to go on in the relationship.

No. 545931

God, why do some girls think they can talk for all men? They're not a hivemind and so aren't women

No. 545975

>>545874
Gay men fetishize and lust after straight men all the time, their straightness being the very thing that gets them so hot

No. 545978

File: 1587844578926.jpg (140.8 KB, 640x930, bdsm_degeneracy.jpg)

>>545975
That reminds me of this (though it's a gay man talking about women).
I really have no words for it, but I guess it's the fujoshi writing/drawing shit about fictional "males" that might as well be flat-chested tomboys with dicks that we really need to be concerned about. Nothing to see here, protect the innocent gay men from the evil fetishizing women.

No. 545991

>>545874
You didn't say why.
But there is one real problem with fetishizing gay men. It's when girls do it to the point of hating their own bodies and sexuality and turn into Aidens.

No. 546032

I met Bang PD once (the manager of BTS or some shit, I seriously don't know) and he's awfully fat IRL. I'm not even into K-pop, my friend who is into that noticed him at the convention we were at and insisted on a pic so I was like "why not" and joined her.
Is this something I should feel proud about? Have no idea, I even forget about this from time to time.

No. 546036

>>546032
why is this in this thread? how is this a confession? who gives a shit about some kpopfag manager? is this supposed to be a humblebrag? kys

No. 546040

>>546036
This is just a random confession and I'm saying this as one because I refuse to tell this to anyone I know online or IRL. I think it's pretty embarrassing and I hate the fact that I took a pic with him. Perhaps I should've added that in there to avoid some retard having their anger fit with me.
>kys
Thanks!

No. 546042

>>546040
you're welcome and you should be embarrassed

No. 546046

Just picked out toe nail dirt and it smelled like rancid cheese. It actually burned my nostrils. Thank you, I welcome the shaming.

No. 546053

>>546036
>>546042
Calm the fuck down. People like you are as annoying as kpop fags.

No. 546084

I haven't showered in months

if someone confronts me I'll just blame the pandemic–but I was this way before everything happened

No. 546087

>>546084
…that's a really long time, and this is coming from someone with depression. are you alright

No. 546091

>>545440
you probably are though lol. redditfags are annoying because of their constant humblebragging and blogposting, regurgitated opinions, cringe word choices etc. browsing and lurking doesn't make you like that automatically.

No. 546110

>>546084
How many months are we talking here?? Anon are you a woman? If so, how do you deal with that and it showering? I'm curious and disgusted at the same time,my longest has been only a week lmao

No. 546123

>>546110
Maybe she didn't mean it literally? Also a week is a lot, the longest time for me was 3 days and it was downright an hero fuel

No. 546125

>>546046
ngl I love smelling my cheesey toe dirt. I've had a bottle of wine otherwise I'd never admit it.

No. 546135

>>546125
>>546046
Reading these posts actually gave me a physical response. Earnestly thank you both, no novel or transcript I've read in years has made me feel this strongly. It's like my muscles all pulled inwards like cold testicles.

No. 546149

Mine is kind of gross
I almost let myself get impregnated by a person who felt neutral about me, all because I didnt know what else to do in my life.
Obviously it's a non problem, this happens all the time in reality and it doesnt change anything.

No. 546154

I brush my teeth probably once or twice a week, I haven't used actual toothpaste in over half a year. I use a water floss probably 3 times a week.

No. 546155

>>546154
What is the state of your teeth like? Has anyone ever said anything?

No. 546156

bought a treadmill and a nintendo switch so that I could work out on a daily basis and get back into games only to be hit by the worst bout of depression I think I've ever had (the kind where you regret every moment of your life and feel like there's nothing ahead to look forward to) and wasted tons of money instead.

No. 546157

An ftm I used to be friends with started sending me her self harm vids through dm. They were her sticking needles through thick pieces of skin on her arm. When I remember that it probably contributed to me ghosting her. She had apparently done this to another friend but not as frequently, what the hell. Think I'm glad I didn't stay to always 'validate' her or long term her become the victim for everything while probably manipulating people to feel bad.

No. 546162

Jeff Goldblum isn’t hot
He was sorta cute when he was young but that’s it

No. 546172

I gave my boyfriend and ultimatum. He has a year to improve otherwise im going to have to leave. He's had 2 years to improve and hasn't tried. Im just so tired of it.

No. 546193

>>546172
Be prepared to leave him then. And by "prepared" I mean looking for another apartment (if you currently live together), saving money, and stuff like that. Not to be super pessimistic but ime men don't take ultimatums seriously. They probably think something along the lines "welp this isn't that important given the amount of time we're together and she endured for long what now seems to annoy her".

No. 546199

I want to buy a Tamagotchi

No. 546201

>>546172
you kind of screwed up by a) setting a timeframe that long and b) then not leaving him the second that timeframe expired and he did not change.

I seriously do not get why you would be willing to risk wasting a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR of your live for just the chance, not the guarantee, that he would change.

Get yourself a man that doesn't need changing.

No. 546223

haven't brushed my teeth in several months & I can't remember the last time I did
(on the bright side I finally washed my ass)

also I want a tomboy gf but everyone keeps tricking them into becoming trannies they no longer exist

No. 546225

>>546199
which one?

No. 546232

>>546155
They look fine, I think I'm lucky since I haven't had a cavity my whole life. I brush extra long, probably lasts like 5-7 minutes.

No. 546240

>>546225
I'm not sure yet because there's so many and I don't know all the differences, but I was thinking a Tamagotchi On!

No. 546245

>>546223
You'll never get a girlfriend if you keep being a disgusting slob like that.

(like jesus, how can you even go several months without brushing your teeth, mine hurt if I skip it just once affter a meal).

No. 546259

Never managed to make friends in college. Seeing people who are still in college having the time of their lives really hurts.

No. 546351

>>546245
>mine hurt if I skip it just once affter a meal

Anon, that's not normal either

No. 546381

>>546351
It's not painful, just some kind of feeling that something's stuck to the enamel (especially after eating something sweet). I go to the dentist twice a year and he's never detected anything wrong.

No. 546395

I keep fantasizing about off-ing myself for weeks now. Whenever I feel sad or anxious, I just imagine myself committing it and slowly giving iff my last breath. I'm obviously not going to do it because it would make people in my life sad, but the thought brings me closure. I hate it how I can never talk about those thoughts without receiving massive backlash and even people threatening to leave me. I haven't figured if it's a toxic thing, a harmless coping mechanism or if I'm just playing with fire. Seeing people depicted dead after committing it (either actors or actual scenes) brings an odd feeling of peace, because I project myself into them. When I saw the character Hannah from 13 reasons why do her thing in the bathroom, it felt validating in a fucked up way. I don't want people to die, I always encourage everyone to get their mental health in check. So having these weird thoughts makes me feel like a hypocrite. Recently someone found out about my tumblr, where I reblogged gore-y self harm photos - a massive argument ensued and I purged it. I hate talking about this because it seems like I want attention or trying hard to be edgy. I hate how I can't talk to anyone about it.

No. 546413

I wish I could kill myself but I hate the idea of forcing others to attend to my funeral. I'm a fuckup who wastes peoples time and can't do anything. I feel so bad about it, I feel so fucking bad about not being able to study and then retrying tests. There is one tomorrow and I haven't been able to read one bit. I knew it was coming and I did nothing. It's even designed to make people pass but I feel like I shouldn't since I literally know nothing. I wish the proff would have had done nothing and failed me instead. I deserve it and I'm just going to fail her expectations again by doing nothing. I feel like I should drop out and just stay inside until I die, nobody should know me or that I exist.

I wish nobody know me so I could just walk into the forest with a gun. The idea of blowing a hole in my heart feels so satisfying.

No. 546428

>>546395
Everytime I argue with my mom, I fantasize about killing myself or dying in a freak accident so she'd regret how she talked to me kek.

No. 546432

My girlfriend is a crackhead and I don't know what to do. I know she's cheating on me for drugs but I don't have the courage to leave her because I don't have anybody else. Frankly I just wish she died.

No. 546487

Even though I understand their frustration and think their feelings are valid it annoys me when I see essential workers at grocery stores or Starbucks etc complaining about working because I would want to do their job so badly, I honestly would do it for free just to feel like I have some kind of purpose and be able to get out of my apartment and talk to people

No. 546488

If I enjoy something too much (a book, film, album etc) it makes me feel sad for some reason and I avoid reading/watching/ listening to it

No. 546495

>>546488
I do the same shit anon, and I cannot comprehend why. Do you have depression?

No. 546496

>>546495
I have no idea why either! I think at periods of my life yes but I don’t think I’ve been depressed for years and it still makes me sad. Maybe it is a depression thing that started then and now it’s just like a left over habit?

No. 546499

>>546496
I also think part of it is a subconscious fear of being let down, or good things turning to shit. That would make the most sense for me anyway with all the shit I’ve gone through.

No. 546501

>>546488
Not the same but kkkinda, i avoid finishing series because i enjoyed them too much. Took me 2 years to finish the last 4 episodes of hannibal. I don't want it to end and sometimes shit that makes me happy makes me sad instead because i feel dumb for getting happy over trivial stuff?

No. 546509

>>546488
same, I thought I was the only one like this

No. 546515

>>546499
Yeah I think that makes a lot of sense, I also feel like part of it for me is even though this isn't rational subconsciously I worry it's going to 'run out' and I should 'save' it… I know that doesn't make sense but kind of a false belief there's only a finite amount of times I can enjoy it so I don't want to waste it? But I don't think that fully explains the existential kind of sadness it gives me when I enjoy something too much so I'm not sure

No. 546526

>>546515
I get you. Guess its just a mystery for the ages. But I still recommend trying to stay in the moment with the things you enjoy and just, ya know, enjoy it.

No. 546528

>>546515
>>546499
>worry it's going to 'run out'
>fear of being let down
I have the same problem as anon and that explained it perfectly

No. 546531

>>546515
Same for me. Sometimes I stop reading/watching media when it's close to the end and imagine it has an "open ending". I might come back to it and finish it when I'm bored, but a lot of stuff is not finished.

No. 546543

i have so much resistance to having a proper schedule. it would help me, but i don't want to commit to something that seems harsh. i know i'm an undisciplined piece of shit. but it feels like if i try too hard to instill rules or order instead of magically getting my shit together that means i'm finally acknowledging i'm a shithead who can't do anything. i don't even know why i resist the idea so much, it feels so confining. but as is i just keep finding ways to distract myself and push stuff back.

No. 546544

>>546543
Do you think you maybe have a fear of failure? I say it because I think I’ve had this problem at times in my life and part of it for me is while I’m not doing it I can have the mindset of like ‘I’m choosing not to do this, I could if I want to’, so I keep putting it back because I know the reality of trying to stick to a very strict schedule is I would probably find it very hard and struggle and possibly not be able to do it and its easier to just keep putting it back than confront that because it would probably take a lot of effort and time to truly unpack and work through

No. 546545

>Hate Anime
>Few things that I do like happen to like have an Anime aesthetics

Fuck my life

No. 546548

>>546543
>finally acknowledging i'm a shithead who can't do anything
this is the first step in getting your shit together

No. 546558

I have so much resentment towards my parents and it's eating me up inside.

No. 546562

My husband is watching me eat salted-caramel hot chocolate powder out of the can with a spoon. It's like tasty sand, and it stops me from biting my nails. I'm not pregnant so I'm not sure why the pica. My mom would be upset with me if she knew.

No. 546567

I've been involved with chan culture for over a decade. I was in a tinychat with people from my state, met up, and posted nudes at the age of 12. I've destroyed every option life has given me. I ghosted the job I put my heart and soul into for over a year, I didn't even graduate high school but I'm too depressed to do anything about it.

I met a wonderful person a year ago who did anything for me and supported all of my bullshit but I cheated on him. After proposing marriage and buying a house together, I cheated on him. At multiple swinger sex parties. He stayed bedside after I tried to kill myself and visited everyday I was in the hospital even though he was running on no sleep and busy supporting the life I imposed on him.

I ruined his trust and possibly his well being but I still feel hatred for the fact he rebounded and is still in the home I picked out (with his money) with his new girlfriend. I worry constantly about how his family views me after all of my dirty laundry has surely been aired.

Every move I make is dictated by my mental health and I question if it is even real.

No. 546569

>>546567
Not in a pearl-clutching way, but how do you sleep at night? I mean does any of this keep you awake? Sometimes when I daydream about doing almost everything you've described, I make myself actually puke even if my stomach is empty and then can't sleep that night.
I think that sort of behaviour falls under self-harm. Have you sought out therapy for it? Would he ever forgive you? Is this something you see yourself repeating in the future? Did you love him? So many questions, it boggles my mind. Would make a crazy book.

No. 546572

>>546569
Girl, I don't even know. I feel like I live in a purgatory between a functioning horrible person and someone who is just very mentally ill.

-I have a therapist I've been visiting since I tried to off myself at the end of 2018 and she has kind of brushed off cheating as a bipolar episode and a result of viewing my relationship as idealistic/letting myself down
-No idea if he would ever forgive me. Like I said he is in a new relationship. I am the one who initially ended the relationship officially letting him know I couldn't deal with the guilt but flipped after a few months. Damn near went insane when I found out he was in love with someone else. I just remember crying nonstop telling my dad over and over that I was going to change his mind. I mean, clearly, we had history. Why wouldn't he love me more?
-I'm staying away from relationships knowing this is something that is possible in the future. There is one guy that is in love with me but I've told him since the beginning that I wasn't committed to anyone
-I loved him so fucking much and I still do

No. 546576

>>546572
Jesus christ stop being a professional victim and get it together. You fucked up.

No. 546578

>>541792

Sounds like a shit therapist tbh.

>>546576

Yes, she fucked up, but still, shut the fuck up. This is interesting.

No. 546579

Sometimes I wish I could tell my parents they played a big role in the fact that I don't want children. They are basically two and I'm tired of having to take care of them. They're both 60 and act like fucking 10 year old sometimes and I'm so so so tired of feeling like the only adult in the house. Why the fuck would I want another responsebility like this? I'm already having a hard time taking care of myself on top of all of it and thankfully children are optional.

No. 546583

>>546567
No offense anon, but your mental health does not dictate it.
You’re obviously coherent enough to function well enough to at least get a job, and do relatively normal things. To me this sounds like you’re making excuses, and you don’t think you should be held responsible for your actions. It sounds like you think you can get away with making these bad choices. Because that’s what they are. Bad choices.

You made these choices, and you will live with them. Hold yourself the fuck accountable, and grow up. See a therapist, get some medication, get a job, and maybe don’t get into a relationship if you’re only going to torture somebody.
You sound like a cow. Ironic.

No. 546591

>>546572
Damn, thank you for answering. I hope things get better for you. Don't let anons here get you down, obviously you beat the fuck out of yourself enough.
I hope one day you give yourself less reasons to feel immense guilt, I hope you can find comfort and act in a way that makes you feel good about yourself.

No. 546594

>>546572
use your fuckup as motivation to better your life and improve yourself.

No. 546595

My life took a turn for the worse so I'm back to escapism and fandom stuff of my teen years. But God, I can't stand all this trans shit. It's so immensely annoying. These people are just two, three, fours years younger than me. Every single person I talk to, every artist, musician, shitposter I encounter, I unconsciously check to see if they're trans and voila, they are indeed trans. Almost every single one. Why am I living in this timeline? Why did the weirdos need to get weirder and weirder? Is this a sign that fandom escapism is over to me? Am I just too old? I hate what tumblr did to my generation's youth, to my peers.

No. 546596

>>546583
I haven't heard from anyone other than those very close to me so I appreciate the transparency. You're clearly reacting so heavily because you can relate to my ex on some level.
I'll let you know I've been on medication for 9 years and have worked/been applying for jobs since this all happened in July. I've admitted why my relationship crumbled to my mom and dad which is humiliating so I can't say I haven't taken responsibility. I'm just confessing. Like everyone else here.
>>546591
>>546594
I'm working on it. Thank you. Maybe I'll admit more sins in the future. God knows they fuckin exist

No. 546598

>>546595
What helped me to get over this is realizing that I came over my stupid gender syndrome and they didn't. Instead of living out their life they're trying to reach a pipe dream of becoming their perfect imaginary husbando/waifu by wasting their lives and significantly shortening their life spans by hormones and irreversible surgeries, all for nothing because 99.9% of the society will never "validate their identity". The "enbies" will grow out of it after nearing their 30s and finding purpose in other places than their retarded online social circles. Hold your head up high and do your own thing while remembering that you're not on a desperate wild goose chase that everyone knows will end up a tragedy.

No. 546604

I hate being barefoot and I can't stand the feeling of skin directly in the shoe, so I wear socks all the time. I'm dreading summer every year because of that, it's impossible to find summer shoes that are not open and large enough to fit my insoles.

No. 546615

I always am in competition with my friends and family members. If I hear that one of my friends is going for their masters, I suddenly feel pressured to get one as well. I wouldn't call it competition because I'm not trying to come out on top or anything (i'm proud of them) but it makes me feel really inadequate if I'm below them in any way.

No. 546636

My friend is so insecure, she has to ruin every good thing that happens to me. Every time I fuck up, she’s always there to remind me how I should improve as a person and how bad and tiring are my mistakes but the moment I try to fix my life for once and do something that I actually feel proud about, she wouldn’t say a thing. It’s worse if she talks though because she always has a bad comment prepared in advance, even if it doesn’t have anything to do with the things I’m saying.
I won’t go into details but this is the main reason which I don’t tell her almost anything about my life. I can deal with the fact of her being insecure and somewhat bitter about her life (she doesn’t have many friends, kind of antisocial….) but that doesn’t give the rights to be an asshole with me every time she pleases.
She turns every thing into a competition and is such a fool because she thinks I don’t notice at all. Of course I notice, she doesn’t know how to lie after all. She’s the kind of girl who confuses being sincere with being rude and she obviously acknowledges this so why I wouldn’t notice?
I used to be so worried about her and her mental state, I always put her first until one day I woke up and I decided I couldn’t go on like this. She’s tiring. Exhausting to be with. People doesn’t stay by her side because she pushes them away and then she expects people to act like she wants to. Her victim complex sometimes amazes me. Her behaviour is like a 13 years old complaining about never finding love again because her classmate just dumped her after two days of dating. I wish I was exaggerating but I’m not, in every single aspect of her life, she has to people know she had it worst than the rest and worse, treating people like trash just because soooo muuuuuchhh huuuuurrrrtttt…

No. 546638

>>546636
Why are you still friends with her, I would have dumped her a long time ago.

No. 546648

>>546636
This >>546638 . Being anti-social, bitter and not having many friends is not an excuse to be this much of a cunt to your remaining friends, badmouthing them and pulling them down with you. Be just as honest to her as she claims to be and tell her that if she wants you two to remain friends, she needs to stop treating you this way.

No. 546661

I'm obsessed with men but have never been friends with one and run away from any who show interest.

No. 546681

This isolation has made me start missing my abusive ex from years ago. I went from not ever thinking about him to just wanting to cry every day.
FUCK

No. 546683

Very embarrassed to admit this but when I first discovered this site (3 years ago) I was a fakeboy and very sex work friendly. At the beginning I used to lurk very hard for half a year and I read a looooot of PP threads and other stuff and it honestly made me realize what I was doing was the most retarded shit ever and I stopped. I dumped all my other tranny friends (it was all online anyway) and also stopped being one. It took me a while because I was so used to my fakeboy name and all that shit but now I feel way better than I've ever felt during those years because living freely as a woman is way better than acting like I'm some oppressed twansboy. Also completely changed my opinion about sex work too, I no longer support it or think it's "empowering" like all my ex friends and ex community made it out to be. Now I just feel sad for all those young girls who get groomed into thinking there's something wrong with their bodies and minds and they have to start identifying as some Aiden/Hayden/Skyler/Oliver.

No. 546687

>>546683
That’s great anon. It’s great you’re no longer in that cult. I feel for the young women who get roped in. A lot of them go through traumatic experiences and end up thinking they’re men because of it, and a number of other reasons.

It’s not something to be super embarrassed by, because I see it happen a lot with young women. I’ve experienced it too when I was in college.

No. 546700

>>546681
I broke up with my abusive ex 2 months ago so it’s much more recent but I think with quarantine and not having much new content in my life to think about, I’ve started dreaming about my ex again when I had started getting way better about not thinking about him. I’ve read some articles about how people are having weird dreams cause of quarantine, I’m sure it carries into obsessive thoughts during the day as well cause you don’t have distractions/aren’t out there meeting new people/hanging out with friends. Stay strong anon, I hope you can find some distractions soon like watching a cute movie or reading a good book!

No. 546702

File: 1588002948534.png (56.85 KB, 220x392, 26SO83naL.png)

I thought this dude was OJ Simpson for a very long time

No. 546706

>>546702
I thought he was based off OJ simpson too.

No. 546712

i LOVE plucking out my pubic hairs one by one

No. 546713

>>546712
Same here. It allows for some really fine details when you're making it into a shape, and it feels good. My husband caught me and now does it to his chest and shoulders.
Huh.

No. 546715

>>546712
Same, my armpits' as well, it doesn't hurt at all when I do it like that.

No. 546718

>>546712
same! everyone around me uses wax or laser removal but i like plucking my pubic hair and armpits. i can do it without pinching my skin while i'm doing something else. only my mom and aunt know about this cuz literally no one else does this

No. 546719

>>546712
not sure why there is an influx of people professing their love for plucking their pubes but this is basically trichotillomania. Make sure you don't transition to your eyebrows/eyelashes once there's nothing left.

No. 546720

>>546712
I once spent like 3 hours plucking them one by one, as a result I had area of around 4 sq sm with absolutely no hair, and it was soo smooth for a long time, I want to try wax my bikini zone since then, but I'm afraid of pain

No. 546722

>>546719
Eyelashes grow back.

No. 546724


No. 546725

>>546719
i love plucking my eyebrows too, they're so skinny and thin

No. 546727

>>546725
Omg same. I pluck the ends of my eyebrows off sometimes because I just can’t stop. Eyelashes scare the fuck out of my though, I couldn’t do that.

No. 546730

I had a dream last night that my boyfriends best friend spent the night and while I was laying in bed came in and sat next to me. He got really close and than kissed me, while my boyfriend was in the other room playing video games. Like the door was open and he just quietly leaned in and started to kiss me. In the dream I kinda pushed him away because of the door being open. I liked the kiss. And it felt really real. What the FUCK

No. 546734

When I empty my cup, I like to drop it in the bathtub and watch the blood spill everywhere like it's a crime scene.

No. 546739

>>546719
Why do people in this site think everything is related to some disorder?

No. 546740

Sometimes I feel bad for people who have to work typical "9-5" type jobs. I guess society needs schleps (no offense) though.

No. 546743

Online shopping is my only hobby

No. 546747

I'm a big perv, but I can't stand media with explicit sex scenes for some reason. Like its borderline triggering for me. I like it when the sex acts are implied and mostly left to the imagination. Maybe its because I'm a former cumbrain that wants nothing to do with porn anymore and desperately trying not to relapse, but still have sexual urges like those. The only explicit sex scenes I can tolerate are in written fanfiction. I think I'm just weird.

No. 546750

I love watching hypno sissy videos, thinking about giving up everything and become a mindless hole while a man takes care of me like his pet and feeds me c*m makes me feel a weird sexual and mental pleasure. Once a I get off, I feel disgusted.

No. 546752

I unironically enjoy Family Guy and I'm glad new episodes are back. I've probably seen every episode at least 5 times.

No. 546754

>>546750
alright, get the fuck out.

No. 546768

>>546750
>>546752
I absolutely cannot tell you which of these posts makes me feel the most disgusted

No. 546771


No. 546804

>>541792
i put a few drops of my own blood in the cookie dough mix that i made for my family.
i told them later the day after they finished it all.

No. 546805

>>546488
I used to get like this really bad when I was a teenager. I remember when I was really really into Fullmetal Alchemist, I just laid in bed one day thinking about how much I loved it and the characters and how much it meant to me and it just made me sad and not want to watch it anymore. It's almost like feeling intense nostalgia for something I'm currently experiencing??? Idk but I almost miss caring that much about things even if I think my current levels of enjoyment are much more reasonable.

No. 546807

>>546804
i do the same thing without telling my friends/family. sometimes i add my spit too

No. 546809

>>546807
>>546804
Is this an anger thing, a witchcraft thing, or just a disgusting thing?

No. 546811

>>546809
because it gets me off in a non-sexual way

No. 546813

>>546809
all of the above, i later made clean cookies but they didn't like them as much so i had to tell them that the difference is that i put my blood there, kek.>>546809

No. 546814

>>546804
>>546807
I wish I could unseen this shit.
Fucking disgusting, go both kys.

No. 546815

>>546804
i get spitting in food of people you don't like because it's not that uncommon but blood
why the fuck would you add your own BLOOD

No. 546818

>>546814
>We do not judge here, we just confess.

No. 546819

obvious samefag by resident retard
no interactues

No. 546820

>>546818
I'm the person who made this thread and I already regret writing that because everyone freaks out on each other in every single post

Note to myself: Don't write shit like that in these threads ever again

No. 546822

>>546819
if you think someone is samefagging, report it instead of pouring diarrhea out of your whore mouth

No. 546849

>>546807
>>546804
Thanks for validating my paranoid anons. I knew people like you existed and would do evil shit like this for fun.

This is why I get nervous when I eat food I didn't make myself.

One day you'll get caught and you'll go to prision for that FYI

No. 546864

>>544486
Yeah, same. Nothing weird about it, sometimes you want to see what guys are into. Or, that is, what scrotes that visit imgboards are into. Because there's a big difference.

No. 546884

>>546712
I used to pull out my nipple hairs. Idk why. It hurt but in a very satisfying way

No. 546886

>>546884
that's how you get cancer… wtf

No. 546887

>>546886
ntayrt but can you really get cancer from that?? I pluck my nipple hairs all the time because I get like two that grow super thick and dark.

No. 546889

>>546886
Plucking you’re nipple hair will definitely not give cancer, please use google you are already on the internet.

No. 546890

>>546889
do you watch youtube videos and assume you don't need vaccines? do you like to diagnose yourself on webmd too?

No. 546892

>>546886
Are you 12?

No. 546908

File: 1588050341155.jpg (37.89 KB, 550x367, Kenneth-Branagh-Wild-Wild-West…)

A guy that I met through e-dating is wanting to move forward with me, and I really appreciate him and I think he's wonderful. I'm just trying to mentally figure out how I'd live with someone who looks like a discount Kenneth Branagh during his role in Wild Wild West.
I'm dead serious.
I'm both turned on and yet trying to picture a life with a guy who looks like an evil villain but really is not.

No. 546923

>>546890
That’s quite obviously not the same as googling a straight forward fact dumbfuck. That’s like saying you can’t google if the sky is blue, are you seriously that brain dead anon. How do we have access to all the knowledge in the world and still end up so purely and completely stupid. How is your comprehension so bad that you can’t decipher the difference between a literal medical fact and varying medical symptoms. What you’re trying to say is an old fucking wise tale type shit from the 1600s. How are you even able to operate a computer with your level of critical thinking

No. 546924

>>546923
being a pissy little bitch will give u acne lel

No. 546925

>>546924
Rather have an ugly ass face full of acne that an empty ass head full of nothing like you.

No. 546927

>>546925
too bad you got both of them going out for you fatty mcpatty kek

No. 546929

File: 1588054569616.png (83.53 KB, 550x550, 8F532E4F-76FE-479E-AAD8-A45E16…)


No. 546931

>>546929
you smell bad and your mums a whore

No. 546938

I get more racist vibes from black people than I do with white people

I am stating this as a Mexican living in the Deep South(Do not instigate or engage in race related arguments. (racebaiting))

No. 546940

>>546938
might be an internalization thing. hence why more white people tend to avoid blatant racism, they just dont experience it the same ways, they dont really know racism

No. 546941

>>546940
So covert racism?

No. 546972

I'm 27 and I've never taken a single selfie in my life.

No. 546984

My bf has gynecomastia and he better try to fix it by bulking up. If that doesn't at least make it subtler I would probably want him to get surgery. He's also kinda pear shaped, I wonder if his hormones were out of wack growing up.

No. 546992

>>546984
Maybe he has that eunuch syndrome thing, marfan was it

No. 547001

I will be 29 in August and I’m a virgin

No. 547005

>>546984
My brother had it as well, even when he had bulked up he had visible male breasts, a lot of wrestlers and bodybuilders get it as well from steroid abuse
the only solution is pretty much surgery

No. 547013

I've been looking at my old snapchat pics and they are actually so pretty.
Idk why I thought they were bad, maybe cuz I didn't have a lot of confidence back then.

No. 547025

>>547001
I'm going to be 30 and same. I used to beat myself up about it but i've realized that i'm only in this situation because on some level I want to be. I don't trust anyone enough to sleep with them. It's not that I don't want to, and it's not that I haven't had interest. I don't think I'm asexual. I don't know why I'm like this.

No. 547028

>>547025
maybe you've got trust issues just like me. i don't get comfortable around men so i can't even take the next step.

No. 547035

>>547028
You're probably right. My dad is a violent, abusive narc. I'm not going to go into detail because I know I'll upset myself but I can't even hug men without wanting to vomit.

No. 547050

>>547001
27 and still a virgin, and quite honestly idgaf anymore (I was more bothered when I was 16 lmao). I'm not asexual since I have a sex drive, I just have zero interest in experiencing intimacy with somebody else (probably autistic). I also have no problem telling it to people when they ask me about relationships, and surprisingly I've never been made fun of (although I think my mother believes I've already had sex).

I wonder, if I ever have sex one day, will I have to tell the person I'm an old virgin?

No. 547052

i always tell my friends with big boobs how jealous i am of them and how i wish my boobs would be bigger but the truth is im so happy theyre small and feel kinda sorry for them having to carry all that extra weight. mostly its that i feel really comfortable not having anything bouncing around but also i really hate the idea of being sexualized by guys just walking in the street or whatever. i do think theyre really beautiful and sexy but id hate to have them myself

No. 547058

>>547001
I wish I had stayed a virgin. 31 and I've just never enjoyed sex. Had plenty of it in my relationships but it always feels like I'm doing them a favor. I find masturbation a whole lot more enjoyable.

No. 547066

>>546938
If all your ancestors were tortured for 250 years and than your literal grandparents were segregated for another 50 just for white people to start stealing your culture and pretending to be informed and supportive of you. While they simultaneously never own up to their judgment of you or just shrug off how their mothers talk about black people. Never taking their ancestors responsibility, always claiming “wah Irish were slaves too!”. While your people are consistently the lower half of society, to always be the uneducated and poor. Always shot by cops because of the culture that was created from oppression that somehow makes US look like the thugs. You would fucking hate white people too. It’s not racism per say, it’s just hatred. It’s completely valid hatred. White people are still very racist to this day, but good old submissive black people are expected to be the bigger people and move on and not have anger. We’re only expected to shut up and accept racists because we were slaves and subconsciously taught to abide. And white people still expect us to act that way. Fuck that be angry. Fuck white people.

No. 547070

>>547052
why do you tell them you're jealous though, i'm curious

No. 547088

>>546752
Congrats on leaving the cult! If you want to connect with others like yourself, there are detransitioned and desisted women on twitter and tumblr, as well as the detrans subreddit.

>>546908
god i wish this were me

No. 547100

>>547066

But what do you really think?

No. 547101

File: 1588096569685.png (89.33 KB, 750x731, 3387E939-E470-4151-A9C6-1E33D1…)

My boyfriend and I haven't been fighting or anything but he hasn't been very talkative this whole quarantine. I didn't mind it at first but I'm getting pretty bored and he keeps on watching the same show over and over. I'm always trying to make conversation and we don't really have sex, I'm always the one to ask for it.

A couple days ago I got blackout drunk and came on to his friend who is our roommate, I felt so embarrassed and ashamed, I don't even remember doing any of it. My boyfriend forgave me but I feel like that has put some tension on us. I think I got a mini crush on him because I'm just so bored and it's always just the three of us. I hate it.

No. 547107

>>547101
I hope the day never comes when I'll have ask anyone for sex

As for the drunk part, I think alcohol makes people bold enough to do things they subconsciously want to do. You're probably sexually frustrated rn and wants to smash his friend. Just like when my friend got drunk, grabbed my male friend's ass and said she 'd hook up with him. Even I flirted with him, it's a normal thing.

No. 547114

>>547101
I had the exact same thing with my boyfriend but fortunately we live alone.
Imo the best solution is to have a heart to heart with our bf about how you're feeling neglected at a time when you feel like you should both be supporting each other and ask if there's anything going on with him which is making him shut you out. A tactical tip is to leave discussing how he seems disinterested in sex to the end, because it makes people defensive.
It took a few talks to get things to improve for us, but I've have to accept that my bf can't fulfill my lockdown social needs entirely and so I need just call my friends more.

If your friend acts weird you could maybe clear the air by apologizing that you only see him as a friend and drunk you was only trying to make your boyfriend jealous because of how withdrawn and absent he's been. That might get your friend to focus on your bfs mood too. Don't give the guy space to start thinking that you have feelings for him or else this is all going to get messy.

No. 547134

>>547097
I'm kind of upset that I didn't get to see that screencap. Can you at least explain what was in it, anon? What were they posting about?

No. 547187

>>547101
I feel this entire post, except I WISH I had a male roommate to embarrass myself on. I'm so sexually frustrated and bored, I could cum to algebra equations.

As for my own confession, my boyfriend only gets off if I do some pretty gross shit during sex but literally won't even try to get me horny beforehand. He uses a ton of lube so it at least doesn't hurt but I swear I use sex time for daydreaming about unrelated fabric art I'll make, and places I liked visiting as a kid. I love having sex but I fucking hate having sex with him. Also his art sucks and he decorated the house with it and during quarantine this whole thing is making me chimp out

No. 547204

I wasn't really sure where to post this but I decided to just lumber it here.

Alright, so I'm 26. I've been talking to a dude for a month now, I met him on POF the dating app. Just like a week or two after the lockdown here in the UK.

This guy is 31, he's 32 soon. He's this gorgeous latino guy, I'm biracial. I messaged him first and I was half asleep tbh. We got talking and flirting.

Now.


Now we talk every single day. He works still during this lockdown, full time in a store. But we talk during his shift since theres fuck all for him to really do. After he comes home from work and we spend three hours on the phone. Three or two. Depends who's tired the first.

We talk about everything. And I really enjoy our talks.


He's in London and I'm up north. Two hours via train.


He's very outgoing, flirtatious, lively, open. We've already exchanged pictures of fam with each other. Not exposing any names but yeah.


He doesn't do social media though - says it takes too much of his time up.



Loves my body, I aint sent him nudes but I do outfit pics for IG. He likes a curvy girl (not fat I mean like wider hips and thicker legs ect).


So far everything is alright. But he really wants to meet me, he's been looking at train times and everything. I told him wait and we will meet up, chat dinner, drinks ect.

He gets it, he wants to wait but he always asks everyday but he's joking. I dont know.


We chat about deep shit, I go to bed smiling, I told him about my skin picking disorder and he gets it. I told him my insecurities and personal shit. He gets it. He's done the same with me.


But I just FEEL like when we meet he won't fancy me. He tells me to stop thinking like that but I can't help it. I did online dating before and its been okay but the last guy two years ago I did it with, I liked him and we met and he made me feel like shit.

I've put bit of weight on, I told the guy this and he doesnt care. My family make me feel shit about my weight, its horrible.

But this lockdown is torturous, I really want to meet him and kiss him. He told me that he is invested in what we have and wants to pursue it but I dunno if I am really ready for something.

My family are picky about people, he's lovely but I dont know if they would approve of him. I worry about that.


I want something, Im tired of being lonely. I want a boyfriend but I dont at the very same time. It'd be nice.


I dont want kids till my 30s and I made it clear to him about this like in general talk. But if we meet, it grows into something amazing then I dont mind continuing life with this guy.


I've never had a proper relationship before though. My confidence has dipped a lot this year and I dunno. Im just worried.


I wish my family weren't so fucking overprotective. I love and respect them but I want to be with someone too.


He's a looker as well and I worry someone like this dude will fuck off with other girls back in London. I dunno.

What do y'all think? I pursue this or just move on?

No. 547209

>>547101
It's just the two of you and a male roommate and this is the first time that living arrangement has ever been an issue? What the fuck

No. 547220

File: 1588128897972.jpeg (476.19 KB, 750x918, 56BB0423-0177-4DBA-9D29-B7C036…)

14 year old me used to rub it so hard over Light's smirk in this panel and I'll still do it in a heartbeat

No. 547224

>>547209
NTA but with COVID happening, I could understand why this would suddenly be an issue. A lot of people aren't home all the time, and sometimes when you have a roommate, you aren't always even on the same work/sleep schedule to see each other so frequently.

No. 547239

File: 1588133013479.png (1.64 MB, 1099x1638, D5CE3CE6-32F6-4BFD-867F-24FF64…)

>>547220
LOL anon I had the hugest crush on Light Yagami around the same age so I feel you.

No. 547251

File: 1588135336932.jpg (79.51 KB, 557x706, fbdd820f883c41b69cc8f64c6c4765…)

>>547220
>>547239

Both of you automatically became my best friends lmao. I'm 20 and I still have a crush on this sexy ass psycho. I'm not even ashamed of it lol

No. 547253

i love being nasty on lolcow.farm

No. 547290

File: 1588144024944.png (93.66 KB, 540x356, tumblr_o8ljktUvx21ttclnwo1_540…)

>>547220
>>547239
>>547251
any of you anons read Platinum End, it's by the same author as Death Note, its like Death Note but turned on its head i.e about an MC who doesn't want to become god

No. 547362

I'm super jealous of my partner being employed and me being unemployed for such a long time. He came in saying that his boss was sending photos of the team to everyone's house and i wanted to say something so petty and stupid because I had nothing like that. I wanted to make a dig that he's not close with his coworkers and say he'll have a nice picture of his close friends, because I knew that would hurt but thankfully I didn't. All girls he talks to at work make me jealous because they have the same passion as him, and the competence to get and keep a job, so i feel they have more worth. Even worse if they share other hobbies because then I'm like “wooow you guys are soooo compatible huh?“. Worst is that he's paying all the bills, his job is keeping us afloat but I resent him being able to get what I want so badly every day. I just feel like mocking him every time he says something positive about his company because I guess that's my stupid defense mechanism. I'd take any job. Any. I don't speak the local language here but I would so happily work in fast food, be a cleaner or shelf stocker if they let me. Just to have a purpose. Once this is over I might go back to my home country tbh.

No. 547369

>>547362
If you want some of your self-esteem back why not start with taking good care of the house and making very nice meals? It might not be as fulfilling as a job and financial security but it's still valuable and would redirect your angry energy into something productive.

No. 547382

>>547362
>I don't speak the local language here
Then why don't you sit your cunt ass down and actually do something instead of having spiteful revenge fantasies towards the person who literally provides everything for you? If you really loved him, you wouldn't feel this insane jealousy just because contrary to you he leads a normal life. One doesn't need to be super proud of everything their partner does or achieves workwise, but being so bitter and wanting to hurt them because of the most basic things… Hopefully he'll find out and kick your ungrateful ass out.

No. 547399

had a really realistic sex dream last night and mad about it because i want to have sex but can’t be bothered, I hate men, can’t meet any normal women in my city, and just generally have been trying to unlearn harmful behaviors so I can actually have a real relationship someday but fuck this. also the ‘Who’ pissed me off too. Fuck all of this.

No. 547408

>>547382
I'm not the OP you're replying to but still flinching at your animosity. Did this post hit you close to home or something?

No. 547418

>>547362
I'm echoing the anon who said that you can still be productive and take pride in how you keep house if that's all you have for the moment. Not earning an income doesn't make you inherently worthless, it's what you choose to do with your time that counts. Yeah, ruminating insecurely over what other female coworkers offer does come off as extremely salty and jealous. It's fine to not be traditionally employed. Do this for yourself to prove that you have your own value, consider your partner noticing as just the added benefit and not the goal.

No. 547419

>>547362
Jesus are you a big mess, normally i feel bad for isolated anons like this but in this case I feel bad for your partner, i hope he has no idea of your resentment of him having a life? There are so many other things you could apply yourself to even besides getting a job, hobbies, sports, even housewife-like things as mentioned by the other anon. Or for example, learning the same language you don't know, which btw I also find mind blowing as a foreigner in a country speaking not my mother tongue.

No. 547437

>>547362
Listen you sentient shoe, get a job and stop being a toxic leach.

Bare minimum stop being toxic towards him

No. 547443

>>547187
>gross shit during sex but literally won't even try to get me horny beforehand. He uses a ton of lube so it at least doesn't hurt but I swear I use sex time for daydreaming
None of this is healthy. I'm not going to just tell you to to dump him because I understand you're in lock down with him but 'it doesn't hurt anyway' is never a reason to just let someone do what they want with your body, it's a known fact that it causes resentment and libido dysfunction if not genuine trauma over time. Why are you letting him do things to you when he's not doing things for you?
I'm genuinely concerned for you anon, can you open up about this to a friend?

No. 547444

File: 1588176114766.gif (1015.92 KB, 386x244, 3F79C26D-0667-47C0-932B-4AA11D…)

I make fun of men with Asian fetishes knowing fully well id fuck any guy from Scandinavia.

No. 547447

>>547187
>I use sex time for daydreaming
This has to be the saddest thing I’ve read here after this fucking lockdown is over I hope you can get out, you deserve better than being his sex toy.

No. 547450

>>547001
>>547025
just turned 30 and still a virgin. it's more common than you'd think to be a woman and an 'older' virgin

>>547050
>I wonder, if I ever have sex one day, will I have to tell the person I'm an old virgin?

you absolutely do not have to tell them if you don't want to share that. though it might help to have them know so they can make sure to be slow/gentle and extra considerate. I worry about letting someone know in case they think there's something wrong with me, I'm not sure if I'll say, when the time comes. I'm just gonna go with my gut and how I feel about the person at the time.

No. 547460

I met my boyfriend online and gained a bunch of weight after a year of being with him. Now I don't want to meet him in person until I lose the weight.

I need to lose 70 lbs and it scares me because I wasn't fat when I met him. He really wants to come over here to see me but I feel superficial and shallow because I don't want him to see me fat.

No. 547466

>>547187
This sounds like me a couple years ago, the guy expected me to be (very fucking) open minded in going that extra mile to get him off.. meanwhile he didn't give me a single orgasm in three years together.

Girl leave, don't settle when it already sounds like you're done with this guy.

No. 547469

>>547450
>>547025
I'm a 24 years old virgin, and the guy I'm talking to is younger and experienced. From the jokes he makes sometimes, I can tell he thinks I had sex lol. Probably because I get guys' attention. I don't think I will tell him, I don't want him to be all in shock and wonder why. I hope if we end up having sex, I won't give myself away with being awkward or acting weird. People say sex with someone new is always a bit awkward and stressful so maybe he won't notice.
I also have this weird thing that I don't want to give the privilege of taking my virignity to anyone. Like, the thought of someone boasting about being my "first", angers me. So I may keep it as my secret.

No. 547471

>>547443
>never a reason to just let someone do what they want with your body, it's a known fact that it causes resentment and libido dysfunction if not genuine trauma over time

That and vaginismus, which can follow through to all your future relationships, so many anons on /g post about having vaginismus after being in the same situation

No. 547472

>>547460
Do you guys video chat at all? Surely if you do he's noticed you've gained weight and probably doesn't care if he still wants to meet up with you. Either way don't beat yourself up, take it one day at a time. The good thing about weight is that it doesn't have to be permanent.

No. 547473

>>547253
wash your ass

No. 547474

>>547460
That's a lot to gain in just a year, Like was something emotional going on?

No. 547483

>>547469
anon if your hymen is still intact you'll likely bleed…the blood stained bedding and condom would give you away lol

No. 547484

>>547469
>>547450
since when do men not like virgins anymore?

No. 547485

>>547483
pretty sure your hymen breaks just from inserting a tampon or even doing certain sports. So I wouldn't worry about that aspect.

No. 547487

>>547485
depends entirely on the girl, you can get different shaped hymens. I lost my virginity at 20 with hymen fully intact and had been using tampons / playing football for years.

No. 547488

>>547484
men that like virgins are not the kind of men you want to sleep with.

No. 547489

>>547488
ok, i mean
do men really mind that a woman is a virgin? that's kinda weird

No. 547491

File: 1588181339030.jpeg (8 KB, 267x189, download (3).jpeg)

>>547485
>>547483
>>547487
The hymen never leaves the body. It's not supposed to "break", it's literally an opening. It stretches for sex, tampons, etc.
If you bleed during sex, your partner went too fast/hard.
>mfw dudes literally created an entire mythology and concept of purity based on their inability to fuck women in a pleasurable, non-painful way

No. 547492

>>547472
I was severely depressed at the time and in my senior year of highschool. I failed the year and ate out a lot lol. Since then I've been going to therapy and my weight has pretty much stabilized at 200.

>>547474
We video chat regularly but he hasn't seen my entire body since the weight gain. My face has gained a bit of weight but not so much that it's very noticeable.

I just want to be confident when I see him. I've struggled with weight all my life but this is the highest I've ever been.

I guess it's just me being shallow and insecure? I know he is not a big looks oriented person but I don't want him to settle.

No. 547493

>>547491
I get so angry every time this comes up because my understanding of virginity came from Memoirs of a Geisha so I thought it was meant to bleed and hurt and I'm forever left wondering if my vaginal opening would look different if it wasn't bulldozed open by a bumbling idiot

No. 547494

>>547491
jfc i remember everyone telling me as a kid that it would really hurt when it'll break so i tried to do it on my own

No. 547498

>>547489
I think the fact that being 20+ and still virgin makes people think you're some kind of weirdo, and thus don't want to get involved with you.

Also, some people don't want to be with somebody inexperienced, I've seen several women say they don't want to become the first to virgin men.

No. 547503

>>547498
That's really not what I got from that statement at all– I thought it meant like, the types of guys who want to sleep with virgins are usually creepily obsessive about virginity, super smug about being their first, and might see it as a way to manipulate them into doing stuff they would rather not do.

No. 547510

>>547484
I'm the anon from >>547469 and I think for many of us, older virgins (lol) it's not the matter of will men like it/mind it, it's about ourselves and our own feelings surrounding it. At this point this is something I'm vulnerable about and I don't want to explain myself, and it's inevitable to get a "why?" at this age. This is a bit shallow, but I also don't want to appear "lame" and like a loser. The ego is a sensitive bitch.

This is not something I care about or relate to, but as anon above said, some people simply do not want to bother with someone not experienced. You have to be patient and slow, and it puts pressure on you. Some people would rather just fuck, you know. I think most prefers "slightly experienced" so they 1) don't have to go slow with unexperienced, 2) don't feel intimidated by the experienced.

No. 547526

David Foster Wallace is my favorite author and Infinite Jest was truly an amazing book to read but I will never admit it publicly or even online

No. 547530

I want to be dominated and humiliated by a lesbian black girl like I was her slut/slave/maid

No. 547531

>>547510
I'm pretty okay with never having sex for my entire life (can't long for something you don't know I guess), but since people are always so surprised when I tell them I'm a virgin, I kinda feel like I'm the only woman in the world like that haha (especially since I live in a country where there's no religious or social stigma for teenage or premarital sex). I feel relieved when reading this kind of thing here.

I still kinda want to have sex at least once to know how it feels probably not a good as in hentai.

No. 547545

>>547001
I will be 25 in August and have never even kissed anybody.
I'm honestly at a point where I no longer care. I masturbated since I was a kid, so not asexual and I sometimes wish for a bf, but it's just not meant to happen. There's simply no man interested on me, ever. Plus I'd have too many personal problems to date anybody anyway (I mainly hate the way I look and thus am not comfortable around any males plus I'm extremely scared of any physical intimacy).

But if I magically were to one day be in a relationship, then I'd definitely not keep my virginity a secret. I might hate myself but not to the point there I'd risk a horrible first time experience. And neither should any of you, nobody deserves that. Plus the way a guy reacts to you telling him that is also a good indicator of whether he's even worth it: he should neither be too enthusiastic in a fetishy way nor mocking you like an immature jerk.
My parents obviously know that I'm a virgin but my friends simply assumed it must have happened somewhen. I've been pretending to have experience for years already, it's not a big deal, you don't need to let anybody know unless you plan to be intimate with them.

No. 547579

>>547290
no but i will read it now!! thanks

No. 547591

>>547204
Go for it anon. You know you want it.

No. 547762

I kinda wish the kpop thread was still open especially since there's been new developments to taeyong's bullying scandal, and this is the only place to discuss it without his insane stans defending him

No. 547764

I want Emma Roberts to bully me. She's so basic but whenever she plays a bitchy character (lol basically every role) it just does it for me.

No. 547765

>>547762
I think you can post in the celebricows thread?

No. 547785

>>547764
yes anon me too! She's not even what i would consider to be my type but when she plays characters like madison montgomery UGH step on my throat and treat me like i'm scum pls

No. 547787

>>547762
I miss those threads, I didnt even post there, just lurked

No. 547797

I'm too scared to sleep lately. I end up dreaming about people in my life, and they're all either doing way better than me or they dislike me. i know why it's happening which is why I wake up so depressed.

No. 547800

>>547787
Me too, never posted as well but I enjoyed lurking there.

Will they bring it back?

No. 547812

>>547762
i'm glad they're gone and hopefully they'll never come back because the amount of retardation and newfagging was absolutely annoying as fuck

also the insults people used in there for groups were so fucking cringy and kindergarten-tier
>btshit
>nctshitty
>shit pink
etc

like what's next? meanie headie jimin? popo caca yuta?

No. 547819

>>547812
Yeah the cringe was real. The worst being the crazy stans and anons weirdly obsessed with idols fucking white girls. Kpop is so cancerous

No. 547886

Since the lockdown started, I've been spending way too much time on here. I already go to Kiwifarms way more than I should, and usually I only visited /snow/ twice a week, and now I check every board several times in an hour. I'm so disappointed with myself, I wanted to use this newly found free time to read all the books I've accumulated, play games again (I stopped when I got my full time job), work on my translations, finally learn to draw… and in the end I spent most of my time on my laptop sitting on my bed. At least I managed to clean up my room and bike daily.

No. 547897

I'd like to think there's a few celebrities I like who aren't garbage tier people, but I bet my hopes will be dashed if I ever meet them. I'm in a media major so I very well might run into them in the future

No. 547900

>>547812
As someone who lurked through there a ton, I felt like those nicknames weren’t commonly used by most posters. Just one or two persistent anons.

Anyway, I appreciated the threads for being a space where people can discuss shit away from stan Twitter types, but many such stan Twitter types and newfriends found their way to the more recent threads. The threads also had a tendency to devolve into inane nitpicking far too often.

No. 547907

I'm really attracted to my boyfriend's ffxiv character. It just looks like him but with muscles and silver hair.

No. 547908

>>547907
That's cute actually

No. 547913

>>547908
no, it's gay

No. 547921

I hate her.

No. 547922

>>547913
Wouldn't it be more gay if his character was a catgirl and I was attracted to that

No. 547925


No. 547967

It's bad but I love to track down the various social media of the people I hate/annoy me. Sometimes I'll go down like an hour or two hour long rabbit hole where it's like I'm sniffing out clues and then finally find their various accounts. And then of course I'll make fun of them with my friends. I know this is uber immature and borderline creepy but honestly I have fun doing it and then looking at all the stupid and crazy shit they post makes me feel way better about myself.

I usually do it with people I dislike but I will do it with people I like and haven't talked to in a long time or have lost contact with just to check up on them.

No. 547968

>>547967
Seriously, you'd be surprised at how many people do this. Almost everyone I've met in my life has admitted at some point that they do it to some extent. They might have a list of people they check up on for entertainment to make fun of them with their friends, or they might have only one person they track. I've had multiple of these people that I've never interacted in my life but find some perverse enjoyment in following their life in their own personal reality TV show. They'd probably be creeped the fuck out if they knew I had been keeping track of them for years and laughing at them with my friends but honestly if you're willing to post about your life to the whole internet you really need to be prepared for that to happen. It's also taught me to be a lot more careful about what I post on social media because I'm pretty sure I have a fair amount of "stalkers" like that myself.

Anyway as long as you don't fuck with them like send malicious anonymous hate messages just to create drama or get too obsessive with it I think it's a somewhat harmless past time. It's interesting to analyze the situation and discuss it like it was a written drama or a stimulating mystery to be solved when you track down someone's alt account. And most importantly, it helps you appreciate not being a complete trainwreck when someone else is putting their crazy out in the open.

No. 547972

>>547967
that just reminds me of me finding this one person with over 400 facebook friends, all of them were some genderspecial troons or fakeboy's and i even saved pictures of the "attractive" ones to catfish other people because it's kinda fun

No. 547976

Pretty sure I'm going to graduate college by the skin of my teeth, which is hard to be proud of. Feels like I was supposed to have it together by this point,and I'm really paying the price. I have crying breakdowns every couple days due to the stress and I know I'm making my family's life worse when they see me in such a state. All for a bachelor's degree that took me two extra years.

No. 547984

I can't be mean to someone even on anon, it keeps me up at night. The handful of times I have accidentally said something stupid that I in hindsight think could have hurt someones feelings literally haunt me.

No. 547985

File: 1588294780174.png (2.17 MB, 960x960, RclQmq7QMJgh0MqWksOPlow7WM2zlZ…)

>>547984
that's really cute and i love you

No. 547986

File: 1588295558552.gif (845.75 KB, 250x228, AB8C74E0-179B-4BD1-9F66-07012B…)


No. 547995

>>547976
If it makes you feel any better anon I finally graduated last December after 6 years and extreme depression, only to have my degree taken away a month later because they found that one singular core credit I had was a C- and not a regular C and therefore didn't count. I'm now technically graduating in the summer cause of 'rona and not being able to get into a class this Spring. Also this credit had absolutely nothing to do with my major and they wouldn't just let up even though it's such a stupid technicality.

It's a rough journey and it sucks to feel behind, trust me that's exactly how I feel, but it's still good that you got it.

No. 548008

This is a happy confession, I think, but I can't post it anywhere else.

In a few days, it'll mark me being 2 years free of severe drug+alcohol abuse, sexwork, and eventually hospitalization for an eating disorder.
June will mark 2 years free from (fairly severe) self harm.

I feel so proud of myself, at that time, I had figured I'd be dead by now. I still get urges, but I've been able to keep them down.. Sometimes I feel like such a failure for the urges alone, even though I know it's dumb because I'm beating them. I'unno.

No. 548009

File: 1588300897780.jpg (16.47 KB, 275x229, 1542131646593.jpg)

>>548008
Congrats, anon! I'm proud of you.

No. 548015

For the first time in my life I'm finally archieving something that went wrong since 2013/2014 and I feel proud of myself but every time I try to talk about it with my friends, they just treat me as if it isn't that important and I know they’re doing it just because they feel jealous of me actually being a better version of myself.
Suck it up, bitches, it will only get better from now on and you can’t demotivate me.

No. 548017

>>548008
Congradulations! I know it's typical to say, but keep it up, many people haven't yet met will be very grateful you stuck it out!

No. 548022

>>548015
I feel bad for your friends. People who are obsessed with "improving themselves" are really annoying. If you think you are so above your friends why do you stick with them?

No. 548028

>>548022
OP wants to talk about one good thing she’s proud of to her friends and you feel sorry for them that they’re being bitter? Kek I see anon hit a soft spot for you.

No. 548039

>>548022
just wanted to tell you that you're a smelly jerkwad

No. 548042

>>548022
It's important to never progress or improve themselves in any way, thanks for the insight anon, I'm sure you are a very interesting person with all the stagnating you do.

No. 548058

I have a close friend that I don't find pretty in real life. She knows her angles, her good lighting, what clothes suit her and how to put on eyeliner nicely in photos. She looks cute in them. But in person, she is not as pretty, you can see that her face is different. She's my friend so I've tried to find her pretty but I just can't. She has a horse face with huge teeth and no strong jaw. Guys have been all over her irl and I just don't get it.

No. 548059

>>548058
Is finding her pretty a requirement for being friends with her? It's such weird logic.

No. 548062

>>548059
Uh no? There is no "weird logic", all I said was I don't find one of my good friends pretty. People around me have said she is really cute and I just lie and agree. You don't need to find your friends attractive but she thinks that I think she's pretty but that's not true. I hope she never says something like "I feel so ugly today" or something cause I don't want to lie to her and say she isn't ugly even though I think she is.

This isn't a shocking confession I know but it's been on my mind.

No. 548069

>>548058
>Guys have been all over her irl and I just don't get it.
like it's so hard to gain popularity among them? don't be fat, wear makeup and nice clothes = most guys would fuck you even if you have a horse face

No. 548072

>>548069
scrote begone(hi scrote)

No. 548079

>>548072
nta but how the fuck anything she said makes her sound like a scrote???

No. 548090

I overheard a girl I knew for maybe 3 days call me weird freshman year of college and 4 years later it still haunts me. I was just quiet, and that was enough for her to hate me and talk shit about me to multiple people.

No. 548098

>>548079
It's a ban for calling out scrotes. After newfag absolutely-not-trannies cried hard enough in /meta/, staff gave more attention to these kind of bans.

No. 548104

>>548098
anon you're dumb

No. 548129

>>547984
Why do you make yourself go to this cursed place
>>548008
Nicee
>>548098
Can we ban "hi bpdchan" next since lolcow wanna go full no hurty feely mode

No. 548159

>>548129
hi cow is always banned so why shouldn't accusing every anon of being a scrote be?

No. 548161

I got rejected from my dream school and only got accepted into my safe school. I feel like a failure. I know I don't have the right circumstances but it doesn't hurt any less.

No. 548171

I just realised that trans dudes that sound like teenagers bc of their voice must be some weird pedo heavens for some and i am grossed out

No. 548172

When I was a kid my mom was obsessed with a girl in my class. She thought that she was just perfect, that she had beautiful hair and was smart. My mom was weirdly blatent in banging on about it in front of me and I don't know why. One of the main things was her long shiny hair.. why did my mom cut my hair into a short bob for about a decade straight if having a daughter with long shiny hair was such a fantasy?

Now my mom has been dead for years and I'm an oldfag..but I still think back to it sometimes and it still fucks me up. I was already a kid with extreme shyness and an inferiority complex that stays with me to this day. I still don't understand her obsession or why she was so vocal in directly comparing us. She wasn't generally a cruel person but once or twice in therapy I had to face the fact that there were sides to her.

No. 548173

>>548172
This is little to help but mayhaps she herself had some weird hangup on hair? My mom is in her 60s and she was always made to keep her very long and now she's the opposite and made me keep my hair in a neat bob at all times as a kid. I did have unmanagable hair to be fair but sometimes she has mentioned how she couldn't stand long hair back then because it was so difficult to deal with. Sorry about your mom though anon, hope this doesn't bother you too much.

No. 548200

>>548022
You reacted as my friends do every time, you just proved my point, thanks!

>>548028
>>548039
>>548042
Thank you for understanding exactly what I meant. As I said, people like anon or my friends just make me try harder to archive my goals.

No. 548207

>>548022
Also…I never said I was above them, I said they feel jealous because I’m doing something that they can’t do right now because of reasons. I never judged them or criticised their decisions but they turn everything into a competition, even if it has nothing to do with it. So no, I don’t feel superior or better than them, I feel proud of my own decisions rn, no matter what they do or not.

No. 548219

>>548207
Nta but do you really feel the need to reply to the same post twice..two posts in a row

>I feel proud of my own decisions

kek

No. 548222

I wish tech really was full of dweeby guys so I could put my feminine wiles to decent use, kek. Instead, 90% of the ones I’ve met are clean/groomed, well dressed, highly personable, and already married. The other 10% were 50+.

No. 548246

I am obsessed with AI-generated faces. I have over a thousand photos saved of them. I don’t know, it feels like I’m “losing them” if I don't take save them. I’ve been thinking about buying a separate drive for them. I give them names, and sometimes personalities and backstories. I’ve created a little fantasy world for them, I separate them into folders based on their location, their ‘family’, and their class. I write notes about it. It’s honestly scary at this point- now that we’re in quarantine I spend hours a day doing it. I can't help it

No. 548253

>>548246
I want to say that this is weird, but that’s basically what I do in the sims

No. 548254

>>548246
Do you make them yourself? I think that's really cool either way. I made a program to learn song lyrics and generate new ones and I save so much of them because I would feel bad if they disappeared. My favorite is when it generated the lyric "A caterplintor."

No. 548263

>>548246
Are you the faggot who keeps spamming them in the closeted celebrity thread because get help

No. 548268

>>548263
It has to be, who the fuck else?

No. 548270

>>548268
Time to bully

No. 548276

I'm too scared to ever have a family because I don't want to pass my depression or anxiety down to my children and I don't want them to resent me for it.

No. 548284

>>548276

Anon, I totally understand and respect your fears. I've struggled with mental illness for most of my life and I have that exact same concern when it comes to ever having kids/adopting. But I think recovery is possible, and improving your mental health is a realistic and achievable goal. Don't lose hope.

No. 548285

>>548276

Sorry for the double post - I want to add on that I personally believe the environment you raise your kids in can typically have a much more dramatic effect on their mental health than what they may be genetically predisposed to in terms of depression or anxiety. You can still be an amazing parent, one day.

No. 548286

>>548276
To be really frank, sometimes I think the adults who are most introspective and realistic about their mental limitations would make for way better parents than the majority of "normal" adults who are selfish and unaware of their emotional and social neuroses. My parents were "normal" re: not formally diagnosed with anything, mom personally thought therapy was only for the drooling nuts-os and looked down on anyone else who went as crybabies and excuse makers. The truth was my parents were mentally incapable of childrearing due to their traumas, believing a baby would patch their marriage which I didn't, and not worrying about the environment I was raised in which was garbage due to all of the above.
Normies shouldn't be trusted. I mean isn't that what they always say anyway when people are capable of unspeakable things? That they never pegged the normie in question of being capable of such treacheries?

No. 548293

File: 1588361592314.jpg (37.12 KB, 540x322, 1581124140848.jpg)

I drew porn of underaged characters but like… when I was also underage. They were 14-16 and I when I made it I was also that age and idk I guess it's technically not weird but I still feel that way.

I never posted any of it either, just kept it to myself.

No. 548301

>>548253
I have favorites and I've even developed a crush on some of them. The sad thing is that I only have one picture of each

>>548254
I don’t make my own but the idea intrigues me. I’ve been morphing the most attractive faces together and would love to automate the process

>>548263
>>548268
>>548270
How can you bully someone on an anonymous imageboard? Fucking lol. How are my ‘people’ different than your people anyway? It’s fictional but their world is still real

No. 548304

>>548293
I always felt like drawing or writing porn of characters in your age range is totally normal. I did it back in the fanfiction.net days as well when i was 15/16 years old.

No. 548343

>>548304
is it really normal for a teenager to write and draw porn?

No. 548358

>>548293
I used to read harry potter smut when I was 14/15. I know there were teenagers writing some of it, but I was also aware that a lot of the people writing it were adults. I didn't really think about it then but thinking about it now, I am SO uncomfortable. In retrospect there was a really weird amount of adults in that fandom, even while the early books were coming out and the characters were babies.

No. 548361

>>548358
i used to read harry potter & sims 2 smut when i was 9 years old, i accidentally found it and became obsessed

No. 548364

>>548343
you're asking if it's normal for people going through puberty to be drawn to sexual content? are you fucking retarded?

No. 548366

File: 1588372741004.jpg (Spoiler Image, 73.06 KB, 600x600, 109654.jpg)

>>548364
it's normal for a teenager to draw this?

No. 548367

>>548366
it's not normal for any human to draw extreme fetishes and you know it, so?

No. 548368

>>548366
Proof that a teenager drew it?

No. 548369

>>548368
i did it

No. 548370

>>548369
consider cutting off your hands

No. 548371

I regret every decision I made during university. I wish I chose a different major, I wish I put myself out there more despite how scary it felt, I wish I studied abroad or went to school in a different state. I experienced nothing within the past 4 years.

No. 548390


No. 548391

>>548366
what is this? like who is this person/what fetish is this? What lead to you drawing this I'm so confused

No. 548394

>>548366
It's fairly normal to draw naked bodies as a teenager (due to curiosity or even being influenced by porn) but not this morbid disturbing gross shit

No. 548397

>>548366
god i wish that were me

No. 548424

I got a scholarship for writing an essay about how I’m nonbinary and identify with male pronouns. But I’m not/don’t and never have

No. 548425

File: 1588382672974.gif (72.82 KB, 220x165, 5B848755-D7CF-4CCF-AD10-2E4DF0…)


No. 548429

File: 1588383394838.jpeg (43.36 KB, 680x963, 555.jpeg)

>>548366
bizarre artist porn is my favorite part of the internet. keep it up anon lmao i live for this kind of stuff. its not normal in the slightest but holy shit i love to laugh at it

No. 548456

File: 1588386846330.png (534.03 KB, 1000x1180, E8AAE126-4010-4204-A0C2-52C28E…)

>>548369
You’re funny anon.

Anyways the porn I drew was of a Homestuck ship that reminded me of my relationship at the time. It was all fluffy stuff, no weird fetishes or anything. I just liked projecting my first relationship onto the thing I was obsessed with during that period.

I still do this with other ships even though I’m an adult now because I’m probably on some spectrum

No. 548465

I know that my best friends sister is only her half sister, but she doesn't know that herself.

I can't even be around her because it's eating me alive.

No. 548549

>>548293
this reminds me, when I was 20 I wrote this fairly long (65k words) fanfic featuring video game characters as young as 15 in sexual situations. I wasn't writing about them doing anything that me and my friends weren't doing at that age and it wasn't meant to be smut, but now that I'm a few years older I feel weird about having written softcore porn featuring minors as an adult, so much so that I amended the description on the AO3 posting saying that I originally wrote the manuscript when I was fifteen myself (a lie).

No. 548551

I'm a weird type of bisexual and it's keeping me from putting myself out there. My sexuality "cycles" every month where for ~half the month, I'm crazy into guys, and the other half I'm into women. I want a gf but i'm pretty sure that "sorry i'm not in the mood, i'm in my man-craving phase" would not go over well. And i do not want a bf bc i'm a man-hater. shit sucks bro.

No. 548557

>>548551
a lot of women's sexual tastes change when ovulating, maybe it's that

No. 548559

>>548557
yeah I think it's probably that, but it's like, just knowing the reason doesn't get rid of the problem. Also it makes me kind of irrationally mad to be so subject to my own hormones

No. 548590

File: 1588406933245.jpg (169.62 KB, 1098x824, 1564968498465.jpg)

>>548551
Tips on avoiding people like you in the dating pool?

No. 548598

>>548551
This could be identity disturbance

No. 548599

>>548590
do nothing? she already said she's not trying to date women because of this…

No. 548607

>>548598
Anon please she’s just horny

No. 548634

>>548465
How did you found out?

No. 548644

>>548607
It's legitimately something that people with identity issues experience. I've been asked my sexual preference in psych appts before and I found it odd, my sexuality was solidly set though. Same thing happened to a friend and her answer changed back and forth across different appts. That info played a role in her getting a diagnosis. Dunno what anons story is but just putting the possibility out there.

No. 548679

>>548644
Nah, I've heard many bisexuals say that their preference for women or men cycles periodically.

No. 548688

I do text-based roleplaying online with my friend and writing the steamy sex scenes for our gay anime yaoi bishie OCs is miles better than actual sex could ever be. We're both 100% well-adjusted adult women otherwise but I'm not at all ashamed for this.

No. 548700

>>548590
There's always that one anon who loses her shit when she reads the cursed word bisexual.

No. 548725

I can't tell the time, at least not quickly. if you ask me to look at a clock it takes me around 10 seconds to work it out. I think one of my issues is I get in my head and my first thought is 'but I can't tell the time!' instead of just reading the clockface. because I couldn't tell the time growing up I just never used clocks, always used digital and it just never stuck for me even with help from my parents. whenever someone would ask for me to tell them the time I'd say I couldn't see the clock without my glasses.

No. 548731

>>548551
Here's the tip: never date anyone cuz you'll get tired of them eventually

No. 548734

>>548301
You are so very mentally ill lmao holy shit

No. 548738

>>548725
Same, and I know a few others with this issue also. Most of them have learning disabilities to some extent.
I forget I even have a problem because it's so rare that I don't just use the digital clock on my phone but I've had situations at work where customers asked me the time and I've just silently pointed at the clock, your method of saying you're short sighted is much better kek

No. 548740

>>548700
Na just hate when "bisexual" bitches always be like ~I want a gf~ when they really have no intention of committing to a woman because they may get hormonal and want sex with someone else. Just fuck off and don't say you want a relationship.

No. 548741

>>548725
Me too, I don't read what number the arms are closest to, I always have to read how far away they are from 12, and I get lost sometimes

No. 548742

>>548740
did a bi woman hurt you, nonny?

No. 548743

>>548740
Lmao true, fake bi bitches are like that but rest assured, there are bi women out there.

No. 548764

I cowtipped many cows, including Erin Painter. Especially when anons piss me off in the threads.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 548789

whenever i see some girl act like some uwu small girl uwu baby doll uwu with her pink aesthetic and sanrio/anime girl icons and obvious pandering to men, i just feel rage in my body and i want to bash her head in for being so annoying

the same goes for those "e-girl goth thots" who are all into the same boring anime and photoshop their husbando's into their selfies while thinking ahegao faces makes them look so "fuckable" and "puts the hot in psychotic" like please for the love of god kill yourself

No. 548795

>>548789
I feel like this kind of feminism that picks apart every relatively benign thing young girls do and every interest they have as 'pandering to men' and ends up totally centring and defining itself by men is unhelpful. I don't think that the majority of these people are simply trying to pander to men, but even if they were I don't necessarily think it's inherently harmful. People of both genders especially when they're young are probably going to try things to make them appealing to the sex they're attracted to. I feel like this kind of thing often just comes off as an excuse to tear apart women and an excuse for people to brag about how different and not like other girls they are

No. 548800

>>548792
>>548795
i frankly do not give a fuck about the feelings of e-girl number 948998349834 and will gladly hate on them for being annoying

No. 548809

>>548800
Ok but just be honest with yourself that it's just that you hate them for essentially no reason and are jealous or whatever don't try to politicise and moralise you feeling 'rage' and wanting to 'bash some girls head in' for like sanrio as you taking a stance against 'pandering to men' lmao, it's transparently not about that and you know that so just own it

No. 548811

>>548789
I think the same too

No. 548814

>>548809
hating someone doesn't mean you're jealous of them you egotist

No. 548815

>>548809
the head bashing wasn't even meant literally, it's just the fact that they annoy me a lot and honestly what even is there to feel jealous about? them acting like some little widdle baby uwu i need a DADDY or i will die uwu i am bwoken baby doll angel nympho trauma ptsd angel uwu?

they all just annoy me, that's it
it's not that deep and has nothing to do with feminism or whatever, they're just very annoying and are all the same copy paste of each other and lack any creativity when it comes to being themselves so they either gotta act like some e-girl to look unique or suffer

No. 548819

>>548815
I just feel like every interest, style, hobby, trend young girls have is met with this kind of irrational hatred. Like I get you say it isn't literal but it just seems unhinged to find it annoying to that extent when most of the people doing this are under 21. I just find the vitriol hard to understand and feel like no one remembers being a young girl. They are just trying to fit and and be accepted by their peers/ follow trends etc

No. 548831

I like to hurt my little brother, to kick him, to grab his hair, to throw his food on the ground and blame him for random things. I like to hurt him and I had fun when I told him there was a robber in the house and he said that he was scared of dying. I like to hurt him and watch as he is pretending to not be hurt by the things I say to him but I can see the sadness and anger is building inside him and I am waiting for the day he snaps so I can have real fun. Too bad I can't hurt him as bad as an adult because he might die.(global rule 1)

No. 548832

>>548831
Anon can you give me your home address and full name you've won a free Nintendo switch

No. 548833

idk if it's just covid posters but there is so much genuine and disturbing mental illness here now that lolcow is just unusable at this point

No. 548835

>>548831
Please let this be bait.
On the off chance that it isn't, why are you like this? Did something happen to you when you were a child to make you want to hurt your own sibling? I don't understand at all.

No. 548838

>>548835
Definitely a post meant to antagonize a response. Bait indeed.

No. 548854

>>548679
I’ve heard of it too, people call it “bi-cycling” which I think it kind of funny. Maybe Anon should try and find a bi gf who goes through the same thing?

No. 548858

There was a period of like 10 days where for some reason literally all I listened to was bhad bhabie. I honestly don’t know why and haven’t felt compelled to listen to any of her songs since.

No. 548860

>>548854
>“bi-cycling”
Love it. I've heard of similar and kind of experienced a tamer version of it, like a milder shift and only every 6 months or so. Two shifts a month sounds intense.

No. 548865

File: 1588449157933.jpeg (6.27 KB, 231x218, download (2).jpeg)

Before I introduce my bf to my friends I thought it would be a funny ruse between us if we played like he was asian. He's a slightly olive-ish pale skinned Italian and his eyes are narrow and his hair is black and pin straight as is his facial hair.
Thought it might be cute to give him a man bun and kimono to wear but lmao.

No. 548869

>>548795
This. A lot of girls genuinely enjoy the "uwu kawaii" aesthetic out of their own will and not to attract male orbiters. I'm really hoping that the unhinged sperg anon is baiting because it's just another form of NLOGism where they think all other asleep bitches are just licking male boots with everything they do.
>how dare this slut like cute anime girls and sanrio characters designed to appeal to women, doesn't she realize she should be reading feminist literature from the 1960's instead???? what a dumb cunt
Seriously. Save the hatred for thots and their who actually shit talk women and push each other down for simp approval. Your hostility towards other women just living their lives does no good for any of us.

No. 548874

>>548795
>>548819
>>548869
I agree with you, anons. It's literally incel logic.
>Girls can't possibly like cute things or anime! That's obvious pandering to men!
News flash: Men don't care about Sanrio, husbandos or girly pink aesthetics. They just don't.
If it was all about pandering to men, they'd just dress like a typical IG thot/Kardashian, maybe with a cosplay of whatever flavor of the month character every once in a while, or a pink wig.
Women can be cringy weebs with tacky interests as well, and they can like things you don't like, get over it. Just because your world might revolve around whether or not men are looking at you doesn't mean the same is true for everyone else.
Generally, people just need to let girls enjoy things in peace. There's always some bitter sperg (male or female) who needs to find a problem with it.

No. 548884

>>548789
get therapy you fucking sperg.
I bet the other 2 or 3 posts hating on sAnRiO bItChEs also were written by you

No. 548888

File: 1588453832003.png (799.1 KB, 1338x574, hmm.png)

The only reason why I started working out and losing weight is so that I can wear stuff like this and look like a 2016 grunge tumblr bitch who missed the bus to 2020

No. 548898

>>548865

wtf dude

No. 548899

>>548888
Fuck, me too anon. I just want to be a dainty alternative girl. If that makes me shallow I'm alright with that.

No. 548900

I have this fantasy (non sexual) where a man runs up to me to flash me and when he opens the coat I kick him so hard in the dick he crumples and then I keep kicking him in the dick until he's basically castrated. And standing over him cackling.

Idk why, never been abused or flashed or anything of the sort. I just really like the thought of some guy thinking he can get away with shit like that and getting taught the ultimate lesson.

No. 548917

im watching this show called siren and its nice but the main three characters have a polyamourous love trio type deal going on and im so disgusted by it
im so insecure about myself the thought of sharing a partner makes me want to kill myself

No. 548925

>>548831
will i get banned for admitting to fraud and piracy or is it just the immoral stuff that's forbidden?

No. 548944

>>548925
Why don't you admit to some of your sins and find out

No. 548983

sometimes i look at extremely pretty people who have died and i feel this random jealousy take over me because their pretty face has now gone to waste and no one will remember them now and i wish i had it instead because i'd put it into good use and i think i'm fucking hideous IRL so if i had a face like that then my life would improve 100%. after the jealousy i just feel bitter because i wish it was somehow possible to copy paste a dead person's face onto mine but no it isn't unfortunately

>tfw ugly forever

No. 549311

Today I caved in and self harmed again. I was clean for more than a year. I'm talking with my friends about irrelevant things while I can't stop thinking I'd be better off Dead, there's nothing that will ever be better for me and after more than 10 years, I'm convinced about it. When this quarantine ends I'm going to off myself, I can't keep on living for others and I just don't want to live.

No. 549317

>>548917
>im so insecure about myself the thought of sharing a partner makes me want to kill myself
Fucking same. Semi-related, but whenever I think of my boyfriend with his ex, I feel horrible and sick.

No. 549338

>>549311
You're not better off dead, anon. Just your brain being a piece of shit to you. I'm sorry you relapsed, you must be in a lot of emotional pain. One year without is an amazing achievement though - more than I have managed. Something to be proud of. I hope you seek help because I bet things can get better for you even though things are really shit now.

No. 549352

i legitimately hope the pedofags in the husbando and waifu threads in /m/ all get hit by trucks or catch corona. i wasn't expecting much from threads for weebs but it's all devolved into degeneracy. every time i scroll past there's a new freak posting half-naked kids
>inb4 but m-muh fictionals!!
don't care, kys

No. 549355

>>549352
Just went through the most recent husbando thread and there weren't any kids in it? There was an anon who posted Ben 10 (fully clothed in a normal pose) saying that she liked him when she was a kid, but I think that's it?

No. 549363

File: 1588518180280.jpeg (38.6 KB, 500x334, 39F6C6B2-2D65-4DCB-A420-BA215F…)

>>549352
if you mean the naruto, sasuke, deku, etc aka all those 16-17 year olds in the husbando thread then you need to stop getting your panties in a twist

obviously can't talk for the waifu thread but i'm on the husbando one 24/7 and have no idea whatever the fuck you're talking about with the "half naked kids"

No. 549392

>>549352
The anons in the husbando threads are so obviously teenagers dude. Its not that serious.

No. 549394

Farmers are so harsh to cows who I think are cute/good-looking. I feel like an utter gremlin compared to a lot of the cows. Like if farmers saw me they'd have a field day.

No. 549397

>>549352
die mad about it moralfag-chan, you've been periodically repeating this same shitty "kill the pedos in husband/waifu threads" bait for at least 2 years

No. 549399

>>549352
Did you save the drawings, anon? Did you stop the pencil scribbles from being defiled? Also, consider actually doing something for "AKTCHUAL MINERS" who exist and are real who are suffering, because we all know that you aren't even bothering with anything other than slacktivism.

No. 549403

>>549394
Really? I noticed the cute cows tend to attract fans or at least anons who empathize with them and hope they improve. Even if they nitpick, you can tell it is forced and they do it for the sake of lc culture.

No. 549405

i act like i'm fine with being alone and single, like i don't want a relationship but i still secretly sob at least once a week about how much i wish i had a partner

No. 549408

I don't know how one would call my mother or whatever she might have, but she's the kind of person who gets into useless arguments over stupid things and cries and throws a tantrum about it if everyone doesn't side with her and tells her she's right. She always talks about herself and disregards everybody else's feelings. She's my mother and I feel ungrateful thinking about her like this, but I'm so tired of going along with her bullshit. I wait for her to grow out of this behaviour, to realize that she's not the only person hurting… in a way I wait for the real her to "come out", but maybe that person doesn't even exist and never will.

No. 549411

>>549397
jokes on you dumbass-chan,i've only been posting for a couple months. it's almost as if it's normal and common to hate people who jerk off to children. go fuck your bodypillows

>>549399
>>549363
i'm not about to air my life on lolcow of all places but if you haven't personally dealt with being sexualized and abused as a child then don't piss your pants over me complaining about it. i have helped children who've been raped, molested, etc. and a surprising amount of them were groomed using your fictional lolis. sorry i said lusting after kids—oops, ~teenagers~—with their dicks pressing up against their pants was bad if you're old enough to be their mother (and i guarantee none of the anons posting are anywhere near his age).

why are you all so bent over me saying it anyways? what's the matter? legitimately asking, why does it bother you so much?

No. 549413

Every single time I hear a siren I get horribly anxious and worry really hard that its for someone I know. Like my grandma died, my mom got in a crash, my brother's house was burglarized, etc. I live in a pretty small town with not much activity in general. There's not a lot of sirens (thank god) to begin with but every single time I hear one I get this horrible fight or flight response and have an overwhelming feeling of "I need to call me family and friends to make sure they're ok."

No. 549416

>>549411
i'm really sorry about your situation. tbh i wasn't aware that the green haired boy was a kid (he was so muscular that i just assumed he was in his early 20s). i'm aware that pedos use loli stuff to groom their victims, but idk, i think you can clearly see that they are children in lolicon art? meanwhile basically all guys in that thread look like buff, older men.

No. 549417

>>549411
>joke's on you i'm a newfag

No. 549420

>>549411
No opinion on the husbando/waifu thread, but I checked them both just to see what the controversy was about, and there wasn't really anything weird, no dicks pressed against pants or whatever. Maybe I'm just blind, but can you actually give examples of what you're talking about?
>(and i guarantee none of the anons posting are anywhere near his age).
Anon, you do realize this site is most frequented by people from the ages of like 15-24, right? We have a few middle-aged anons, but it's very much a teen/young adult space. Even some of the current staff is only just hitting their 20s, if not younger, lmao.
This is definitely not a site for aged, mature individuals. People here actually care about webtoons, kek.

No. 549422

File: 1588530971250.jpg (Spoiler Image, 328.51 KB, 1080x1112, 20200503_203536.jpg)

>>549420
nta, but i think she got angry cuz of this.

No. 549423

>>549417
not a newfag, i've been lurking for years but only recently begun posting. not everyone with different opinions is new lol

>>549416
it's really hard to tell with most of them because, like you said, they're so grossly muscular you wouldn't recognize them unless you've seen the media itself. it just makes me feel disgusting seeing people flaunt that kind of art around. i do think i was a little rude in my original post, i don't want the anons to suffer like that (i don't even know them/what they've been through), but i was really upset and coming down from an episode so i wasn't really thinking. thanks for being understanding, at least

>>549420
there's a picture of a teenager (green hair, it's up a bit in the thread) with a visible outline of his dick. no pornography, but still enough to make me physically sick. i'm not stupid enough to insist he has rights, he's not real, but it's not him this is affecting. i'm not trying to protect a fictional character from the mean ol artist, it just hurt me, a real person. just as you're allowed to criticize me for it, i'm allowed to complain
i've been here since i was 15, i know that nobody follows the 18+ rule, but i've read so many blogposts from middle-aged moms on here that it all blends together. probably should've left that out but it's too late now

and to the anon posting deku in the thread (like his face triggers me or something?), how about to "really" celebrate me, just post straight up child porn since you want to so badly? "anger fit" lmao

No. 549424

Bbbut Jotaro is only 17 you pedophiles
>>549423
>lewd art may as well be child porn
Lollll kill yourself, Deku is number one hero. He’ can arrest me himself sweaty.

No. 549425

Growing up I never had much experience sexually and I never touch myself I’ve had sex before a couple times with my first boyfriend and it didn’t satisfy me at all if anything it just made me feel grossed out by it, at some point I thought I was asexual but I genuinely enjoy porn and I get turned on mostly from fanfics because the way they write sex scenes is more hot to me so i don’t think I’m asexual? I have a boyfriend again now and we’ve been intimate with each other (through calls since we are long distance) but I recently been distant since I got obsessed with a game and I feel like I’m losing interest? I have a really bad habit of doing this. Idk what I’m getting at but I’m just confused by myself at this point and resorting to rambling

No. 549427

>>549424
explain to me how drawing a teenager who isn't even 17 yet (and who's depicted as 15 in most art) in sexual situations is a good thing? you still haven't answered why you're so asshurt about it either, weeb-chan. sorry i hurt your fragile feelings
also
> using sweaty in 2020
your brain must be bulging

No. 549428

>>549427
Please shut up already we get it

No. 549430

>>549352
>half-naked kids
>>549423
>there's a picture of a teenager

As a non-otaku, please tell me what about this drawing is supposed to tell us that he's underaged? He looks like your typical buff anime guy. How can that make you sick? Only bald minimum middle aged dudes with beer bellies allowed? People who "lust after" and "jerk off to kids" aren't attracted to something like this.

No. 549432

>>549397
don't be retarded. as if it's only one anon who doesn't like pedos on here. and even if its somehow not you attracted to their ages, how do you know the person drawing or sharing pics with you isn't a pedo? i think you're the one who needs to grow up.

No. 549435

>>549430
it's not how other anons interpreted the picture that set me off. i used to be interested in bnha so i know that deku's 16 at the most, and seeing him portrayed like that (not to sound like an avid twitter user) gave me flashbacks and made me remember my own trauma. it's entirely a personal problem that i brought up because i needed to complain and this is (essentially) anonymous. i'll stop now (i have things to do). i forgot how shitty weebs got when they get criticized. but really what was i expecting from a site full of catty people (myself included)? sorry for derailing/getting anons' panties in twists/etc.

No. 549436

>>549435
grow the fuck up.

No. 549437

>>549432
gb2tumblr

No. 549438

I don't like my parents and my sister. I moved away to a new state almost a decade ago and have felt little to no inclination to stay in contact with any of them ever since. I had an abusive/neglectful upbringing, and always found it interesting that many who have also gone through this have some desperate need to repair things with their parents and siblings. I've never felt any of that. I don't wish any of them ill will, but I don't want them in my life and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

I've just never understood that unshakable, sentimental attachment that people have with their parents and siblings, no matter how poorly they treat them. "Blood is thicker than water," means nothing to me. I'm perfectly capable of forging healthy relationships with new people who I actually enjoy spending time with.

I also don't have much respect or empathy for people who complain constantly about poor treatment from their family members, yet refuse to cut contact with them. Especially if they're not even forced to live under the same roof. Grow a fucking backbone, please.

No. 549440

>>549435
If you have to tell people that a very adult looking (fictional) person is actually only 16 then those people are not literal pedos jerking of to literal children, jesus…
How do you live if that's enough to trigger you into wishing death onto them? There's actual evil people out there, anime fangirls posting on lc aren't amongst them.

No. 549441

File: 1588533236697.jpg (851.72 KB, 1189x2126, 75139151_p6.jpg)

Am I being baited into posting MHA content???
>>549435
Fuck your trauma bitch. Go to therapy.

No. 549446

>>549441
As someone who watches BNHA please don't. Go post that shit in the husbando thread or smh

No. 549449

>>549441
ew a bakugofag

No. 549452

>>549449
Yo listen, I'm Miriofag but this boomer got a lewd face ok

No. 549456

File: 1588534769752.gif (1.93 MB, 540x304, 1583202511450.gif)

I feel so guilty for being aroused by those videos of women's sports. You know the ones where female athletes with peak performance bodies compete in attires where their whole ass hangs out… These are fucking literal giga stacy's but it just feels like I'm objectifying them. They're just there to do sports while the millions of views these videos get are entirely by dudes unabashedly with dick in hand.
And like, why are the footages so weirdly male-gazey? Why are they competing in literal bikinis when male counterparts wear a tank top and shorts? Why are many of them wearing a full face of make up??I may be a sedentary lib-artsfag but is all this normal to women's sports?
The worst part is that I'm still lusty as hell.

No. 549459

>>549456
dude, calm down. lmao is this post for fucking real? being turned on by female athletes is probably the least weird kink i've ever come across on this board.

No. 549461

>>549459
I'm not weirded out by hot athletes themselves. Talking about how they are presented in these videos actually, they're really voyeuristic it's almost intentional. Especially the sportswear.

No. 549462

>>549456
>And like, why are the footages so weirdly male-gazey? Why are they competing in literal bikinis when male counterparts wear a tank top and shorts? Why are many of them wearing a full face of make up??
IMO, it's done on purpose to bring attention to an already very overlooked field (women's sports). They're basically trying to get the most out of raw sex appeal and the male gaze.
It's sad that this is what it's come to, but yeah.

No. 549465

i'm scared of marrying a white guy and he end up aging horribly like my dad

No. 549470

I love my friend but at the same time it's utterly frustrating how they demand I talk to them 8+ hours a day and they are starting to drive me bonkers. Cuz I understand them being inside all day sucks but damn it. So we talked about it and they still say best friends can talk whenever.
Now I feel like a bad friend

No. 549492

>>549411
>seriously outing yourself as a complete newfag
No wonder moral policing and overall teenage faggotry has been on the rise on lolcow recently, I can't wait until the lockdown and summer is over so these stupid fucks go back to school

anyway fuck off back to twitter and take your stupid trauma with you, literally nobody cares about you blogposting about your personal issues. if you're unhinged enough to wish death on people over cartoons then you need to put on meds right away

No. 549495

i don't think watching porn is a big deal. i do so sparingly and have never really felt weird about it. like, i get that the porn industry fucks some people over, but plenty of women have made legitimate careers out of it. not everybody is a victim of porn and i think people get way too preachy and moralfaggy about it.

and as iM nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs as i know people will take this, i also don't think men watching porn is a big deal. i literally tell my boyfriend to watch porn all the time because i don't have as high of a sex drive as he does. i think that women who have a "no porn" policy with their partners are pathetic and insecure.

No. 549499

>>549495
Ooooh this should go in the unpopular opinions thread. I respectfully disagree but am not pissed about your take like some anons will be

No. 549502

>>549495
I think the reason people on here hate porn so much is because a lot of us were exposed to it at a really young age. Pretty sure I started when I was 13 because it showed up on my tumblr and It fucked up my brain big time.

No. 549511

>>549502
Nope, I never really watched porn. I hate it because I've read what women who've been in porn, including those who've 'made a career out of it', have to say (spoiler alert: they were abused and violated constantly).

I've also read plenty of studies that prove what a negative effect it has on people who watch it. Men who are exposed to porn hate women more, think we want to get raped, etc. Basically, every misogynistic thought men have is exacerbated and heightened by porn. Not to mention how porn addiction affects their sex lives - death grip that ruins their ability to enjoy it, or fucked up fetishes that ruin their partners enjoyment of it.

A woman knowing all this and still watching or endorsing watching porn is peak self hatred.

No. 549518

>>549495
you and thousands of other pickmes have the exact same mindset, so congrats?

No. 549519

>>549495
>industry fucks some people over
>some
Try most
>plenty of women have made legitimate careers out of it
Career sure, legitimate? Not really. How many porn stars have enough clout and legitimacy to move on from it like Riley Reid or Sasha Grey? Even those girls only get featured on Z-list radio and B movies at best. Most are used and discarded, no one knows if they're dead or alive. Do you ever wonder why the most popular porn stars always retire asap, even though they have a cult-like following? Why don't they keep doing it if it's such a viable and legitimate career.

No. 549520

I always forget Hawaii is a state.

No. 549521

>>549520
it is?

No. 549524

>>549495
thank you for reminding me why i should continue actively speaking out against porn, women have truly been indoctrinated. depressing and i hope you come to understand the many dangerous aspects of porn one day, shying away from the harsh truth of porn to satisfy coomers is not it

No. 549525

File: 1588541618621.jpeg (393.98 KB, 523x1920, A1E8D9DE-C904-4CC5-B590-1AF77B…)

>>549495
Hey as long as you get to nut once in awhile at the expense of women and boys, nuthin wrong wit it

No. 549528

i legitimately do not understand roleplaying. the only roleplaying I've ever took part in aside from this one roleplaying Halloween murder mystery party I went to has only been sexually when I was a teen on virtual games and shit, and even then I didn't understand it beyond a way for desperate people online to get off. so in my mind, if it's not sexual, wtf is the point? especially for people who roleplay fictional characters. at least for something like DnD it is a game and socializing, and typically in person. as for purely online or text based roleplay, I just don't get it. what is so interesting about pretending to be an anime character or character from a tv show with someone else who is also pretending? is it the escapism? is it pretending to be someone else they think is interesting? idfk

No. 549533

>>549495
Porn being a disgusting industry that you're sweeping under the rug aside:
>i literally tell my boyfriend to watch porn all the time
Imagine being a proud cuckquean. I'm sure you've already rationalized this in your own mind, anon, but I'm just wondering: Do you think your boyfriend would, in his right mind, encourage you to look at other men's penises to boost your sex drive (or to do so on the rare occasion that you want sex, but he doesn't feel like it)? Would you find it respectable and sensible if he did do that? Would that sort of behavior make him seem any more attractive to you?
I don't understand how that sort of thing isn't far, far more pathetic than not wanting your SO to be a cumbrain. It seems like a massive cope.

No. 549550

>>549495
>i literally tell my boyfriend to watch porn all the time
>women who have a "no porn" policy with their partners are pathetic and insecure.
nice b8 m8

No. 549560

>>549411
>I tell people…to kill themselves…to cope?????

Newsflash, pearl clutcher, I've also been sexually abused and have also helped kids who went through the same shit that I did. The only reason why I'm bringing it up is because you and every asshole like you believe that our trauma is some kind of thought-terminating trump card to silence anyone who doesn't agree with you telling them to kill themselves over drawings.

You people blame artists who've done everything in their power to tag and warn everyone about content, instead of educating kids on what spaces they don't belong in.

I know the difference between actual sexual abuse and when a drawing is just a drawing because I'm not so terminally online that I don't go out and experience reality.

Don't act like you didn't roll up in this thread, completely ass ravaged, and then try to play it off like everyone else is the problem. You exist as a problem.

No. 549568

>>549528
Roleplaying is and has always been a form of escapism. That's all there is to understand.

No. 549569

>>549495
good, go fuck your boyfriend then instead of seeking attention here. we all know you just want validation in the form of us disagreeing with you (as it reinforces your 'not like other girls' delusion') but you won't because your bf probably has a limp dick and would rather watch porn than fuck you anyway.

No. 549575

I wanna cyberbully the AI face generator anon for some reason

No. 549576

I'm actually pretty amused by that anon who keeps posting AI generated faces.

No. 549577

>>549575
hard same

No. 549579

I tend to discriminate against people into certain types of media and subcultures. Its like I can tell what kind of person they are by what they like. Makes me feel bad sometimes, but Ive yet to be wrong.

No. 549581

>>549577
>>549575
They're probably the most creative, least offensive sperg we've had yet. I kind of like to think quarantine has made them go a little crazy, and this is how they're coping. Still a sperg, though.

No. 549582

I think most people don't deserve to have kids and are selfish to have them

Whenever I see an ugly, obese or just a welfare queen type person with kids I resent them. Especially when there's more than one. I think only exceptionally smart, beautiful or just people that can pay for it should have kids. There's already too many people on the planet and nobody's really that unique to have a smaller version of themselves.

No. 549602

>>549582
Omg anon same. I’m super critical of low income people who decide to have kids. Do they not understand how much kids cost to raise? Do they think it’s ethical to bring them into this life so far behind in an already difficult game?

Once I read a post about a little girl who went viral for asking for luxury brands for Christmas and one of the comments was like “Wow, my parents could never afford heat during Christmas and I was lucky if I even had a blanket to sleep under! Spoiled rotten kid.” Uhh congrats on your mom deciding to birth you in such an environment before spending the time and money it takes to raise a kid on getting her ducks in a row?

No. 549629

This is now the unpopular opinion thread

No. 549631

>>549617
eugenics good

No. 549633

>>549579
what kind of media?

No. 549650

>>549633
What kind of video games, anime, ect people are into, not so much the mediums themselves. Think I worded it wrong.

No. 549651

>>549582
If only good looks and money made someone a good parent.

No. 549654

I don't have a poop fetish because that's nasty as fuck but I rly enjoy pooping

No. 549693

>>549575
hard same I've never got such a bad vibe from a poster before idk

No. 549695

>>549693
this is the second time i see you say HARD SAME when someone is talking shit about AI anon, can you honestly shut the fuck up or do i have to go there? mind your own fucking business

No. 549696

>>549495
i agree, I think there is a lot about the actual industry that needs to change but I don't think there is anything inherently bad about porn and think most people in the world other than on this website or niche radfem communities think the same

No. 549698

>>549695
what the fuck is wrong with you? is ai-anon paying your rent? are you the one whining in meta about the thread needing to be re-opened too? you should honestly get banned at this point for being such a sperg about this retarded shit

No. 549699

>>549698
kek holy shit. don't cry now

No. 549700

>>549699
is this ham-chan

No. 549701

>>549700
fuck. i have to change my ip again

No. 549704

>>549701
Should've figured the one defending the AI schizo is a fellow crazy sperg

No. 549705

>>549704
do i have to add /s for you tards to understand sarcasm

No. 549706

>>549695
we are two different people why would I post the same response twice

No. 549707

>>549706
we're the third of the same person so i don't see why you bother

No. 549760

as a teen I was super into FMA and I was super into Edward Elric for several years. I’m in my 20s now but I still think he’s hot just cuz idk sexually imprinting as a teen. Ppl online would have me think I’m a monster for that but it just seems nonsensical to me to have to turn off your attraction switch magically at 18 if the character is underage? Like I just don’t think human sexuality works like that. Seeing the drama today about “literal cp” (anime boys) made me remember this. Can anyone relate? Feel crazy for having this opinion on the “normal internet”

No. 549765

>>549760
anime characters are generally extremely ambiguous looking when it comes to age especially, so the age is less of a problem than the context of the character (especially with things like 1000 year old "children" characters). i would argue that age in anime has little to do with anything. edward from FMA being under 18 isn't an important aspect of his character, he's not designed to act like a child. but characters where their age is an important aspect of their characterization are a different story.

No. 549770

>>549760
It would take a severe lack of critical thinking to think someone attracted to Ed, or most anime teens in general, is a pedo. There are very few indicators of age in anime designs, so they look the same from 14 to 40 (at which point they get lines around their mouth and that's it). Like, Roy is ~30 and isn't drawn to look any older than Ed. Unless it's shota or you're seeking out young characters specifically because that's what you like about them, it's incidental attraction rather than a suspicious fixation on youth.

No. 549772

>>549760
Anime teens look almost exactly the same as anime adults. There's no fucking point in debating if you're a pedo or not for liking a 16-year old anime character because nobody can tell the difference without reading the wiki and they're not real to begin with. They're drawings people project different expectations into. People should be more concerned with hunting down actual child rapists.

No. 549813

Sometimes my friends come off as arrogant and prideful people, so I like to talk about some topics that I know it triggers them to catch them on their lies. I can’t stand people who try to make you feel inferior just because they need to feel better than anyone else.

No. 549818

>>549408
>She's my mother and I feel ungrateful thinking about her like this, but I'm so tired of going along with her bullshit.
That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling about my mom too. We had an intense argument back in February and I’ve thought about it almost every day since. I feel guilty having this hatred for her since she still does things for me like house me and help pay for my education. I guess I just feel like some sort of hypocrite and I don’t know how to reconcile these feelings? The way she acted and the things she said really make me feel depressed and enraged but it makes me feel like I’m “biting the hand that feeds me.”

No. 549824

I think I am losing IQ points in this lockdown. I watched a Pewdiepie video for the first time ever and I think it is so funny. I am really becoming stupid…

No. 549837

>>549579
Same, I can't help but side-eye furries, especially after all the zoosadist leaks. I really don't like those that act all high and mighty on twitter for not liking anime or some dumb shit, then retweets weird fetish art.

No. 549874

>>549824
He is funny. He might be a pile of shit in some aspects, but those parts are also what kind of make him funny (not the racist parts obviously)

He has a large personality, and there’s a reason why he’s so big.
You’re not dumb!

No. 549880

>>549837
>I really don't like those that act all high and mighty on twitter for not liking anime or some dumb shit, then retweets weird fetish art.
This is what especially annoys me about furries. They're stanning anthropomorphic animals that look like cereal mascots or kids' cartoon characters and 80% of the time their life revolves around some weird fetish yet lack self awareness enough to shit talk weebs and other nerds who are often far more well-adjusted than their degenerate asses. At least weebs can range from semi-normie DBZ fans to the deeper end nutcases but furries are always all or nothing, whether they're autistic diaperfurs or those wolf shirt wearing otherkin faggots.

From my experience they also have a huge problem with drugs, sexual harassment and child grooming. Even bronies are tame compared to most furries. The only people I can sort of excuse are the people who just draw animal characters and don't interact with the community at all like the author of Lackadaisy who iirc openly despised it and doesn't identify as a furry artist.

No. 549912

>>549818
I'm so conflicted. It's literally like biting the hand that feeds you, as you said. What should a person in this situation do? How should one act? Am I in the wrong?

No. 549937

This place is slowly turning me into a radfem and I don't know if I should be concerned or not

No. 549940

>>549880
Bronies are dead nowadays, that's why they seem tame, but I remember that in their prime in 2012 or so, they were pretty open with their weird antics. I think that furries are better at hiding their deviancy since it's a much older fandom.

The author of Lackadaisy is indeed not a furry, but she's mainly, if not only, invited to furry cons (although high-end ones), so either she does not despite them, or she does but she takes their money anyway.

No. 549985

>>549937
have radical beliefs of any kind is a cause for concern. this board is toxic as hell. don't let anyone convince you otherwise

No. 549989

>>549880
>>549837
I've usually seen the opposite. Weebs who act like furries are the epitome if degeneracy then turn around and jerk off to loli porn.

No. 549991

>>549937
I’m not radfem per se but some perspectives really broadened my world, never regretted it. I feel more confident in my choices.

No. 549992

>>549985
Radical doesn't mean 'extreme', dumbass.

No. 549993

>>549937
>>549985
The "radical" belief that there have been 1000's of years of female oppression?
From the physical like Chinese foot-binding, to the biological shaming of menstrual huts, to the child brides, to FGM, to being considered an inferior being based all Abrahamic religions and certain "objective philosophies", to restricting a woman to the domestic sphere via repeated pregnancies (look up Anita Tolstoy, wife of Leo Tolstoy).
I didn't learn most of these things from lolcow – but this was the first place that exposed me to "gender critical" ideas. There are quite a few Tumblr blogs that provide many links and studies. Changed my mind on a lot of things. For one, I was porn-neutral in early 2019, but I'm definitely anti-porn now.
I'm not the biggest fan of people who respond to every argument with "muh muh kill all males". But when you look at all of the information and receive the same insults from "anti-TERFs", I can't necessarily blame them.
I don't have a Tumblr – I just lurk. Most of my family is conservative, most of my friends are liberal, so I don't talk to anyone about this in-person.
Sorry for ranting. I wouldn't label myself a radical feminist, but I'm obviously leaning. After reading "Who Cooked The Last Supper?" and "Why Does He Do That?", I've resigned myself to not having expectations when it comes to getting into a relationship with a man. It's kind of freeing, not to have that expectation on you.

No. 549994

>>549937
I genuinely don't understand how radical feminism is a persuasive ideology to anyone, especially places like this - I dont get how anyone would be anything but off put by them. I guess the only thing you can do is look into the ideology further and that will either cement your beliefs or not but I think you should do more actual research into it than just what you see here

No. 549998

File: 1588627463533.png (232.75 KB, 400x513, 1504532766247.png)

>>549524
thanks for the implication that i have no agency or ability to formulate my own opinions, and that my views on porn are nothing other than indoctrination due to my being female. i bet you've been able to persuade absolutely zero people with an IQ above 80 with that approach. keep up the good work.

>>549511
>A woman knowing all this and still watching or endorsing watching porn is peak self hatred.

this statement seems to imply that because a person is female, they're by default supposed to be somehow more morally outraged by bad things happening to other females, as opposed to, like, any fucking bad thing that happens to any person. if anything, this just shows a general lack of empathy to any form of suffering that isn't your own, or is unlikely to happen to you. i don't see bad things happening to a woman and think to myself "oh wow, that's so sad, that could be MEEEEE," i think, "oh wow, that's so sad."

is having empathy for people outside of those whose experience you most closely resemble really so extreme? i'd like to hope that it isn't, and that a lot of you are just really young, but who knows.

>>549533
i tell my bf to watch porn because i feel bad that i'm chronically depressed and not in the mood to fuck him as much as he wants me to. ironically, he isn't even a big fan of porn and would rather be fucking me. we've had this discussion a dozen times.

equating watching porn with being a cuckquean is too retarded to even warrant a serious rebuttal.

>>549519
you raised some good points here. gj at being the only response to my post that didn't launch into personal attacks and hypocritical attempts at trying to seem like you were somehow a better person than me, when we're all posting on this fucking board of all places.

>>549550
it's not bait. issues with the porn industry aside, this genuinely does show a lack of trust and faith your their partners. trying to have absolute control over what your partner does or does not do is objectively not healthy or okay. this is not a normal relationship dynamic.

if your boyfriend wants to watch porn and you're not okay with it, you need to break up with him. implementing a no porn policy is not strong or admirable. you're still a doormat to your boyfriend's needs. trying to control his behavior is just a pathetic attempt to assert dominance in a situation in which you clearly don't believe you have any.

>>549569
gee, you're not mad at all

No. 550000

>>549992
she said nothing to indicate there hadn't been years of female oppression or that it was a 'radical' belief, that isn't a belief exclusive to radical feminism in any way. All radical feminism achieves today is sperging at random individual trannies and sex workers online and doesn't seem to ever go further than that. I've unfortunately been exposed to various radical feminist communities online and never met a radical feminist that seemed to actually care about women or centre women in their ideology

No. 550003

>>550000
But have you actually read any theory.

No. 550007

>>550003
yes of course, that's why I don't support it.

No. 550008

>>550007
Same anon but also even if I felt differently about the 'theory', I don't only care about something in theory, how it exists in practice matters too

No. 550015

While we're on the topic of porn here's my confession: I can only get off on anime porn. IRL 3D porn is disturbing to me because I keep thinking about the poor women involved in it and how much shit they must be going through, and the material is always made for men with no body worship or actually taking the woman's pleasure into consideration. Just face fucking, then stick the dick in and keep moving while the woman does the fakest moans. But with anime porn and smutty doujinshis I can't get enough, I'm constantly horny for whatever perverted shit it entails no matter if the subject matter is straight hentai, gay BL or lesbian yuri. I don't have to feel sorry for the characters because they're real, they're more attractive because they're 2D and any unrealistic crap flies with it because it's imaginary.

I might be a huge goddamn loser for this but at least this loser doesn't support a shitty, abusive industry

No. 550017

>>550015
can't wait for someone to reply to this and call you a pedo because my precious 2d people!11!11!!!!!

No. 550020

>>549994
It’s been around for ages and used to just be called feminism… obviously a lot of women identified with and felt empowered by it in parts or in full. It’s the last time feminism still had the spirits of the women who actually rocked the boat and gave us meaningful changes. Twitter feminism is so cluttered with nonsensical virtue signaling, one-upping and undemocratic groupthink. Maybe if it wasn’t so debased and claustrophobic, there wouldn’t be a phenomenon of young women searching for something else to believe in.
>>550007
Sure. The main problem you brought up is muh communities and online sperging (how is that unique for any political group).

No. 550024

>>550017
she didn't say she likes 4 year old lolis like your retarded ass

No. 550027

>>550020
Oh no lmao, there are many problems in practice, the main one probably being the fact that the huge, huge majority of women don't want radical feminism, so I don't think an ideology that the vast majority of women don't want is ever going to be empowering or beneficial to many women

No. 550032

File: 1588629836465.jpg (97.4 KB, 750x1500, 95501227_.jpg)

>>549998
>imagine having bf who doesn't jerk off to you
>imagine needing porn to masturbate

No. 550038

>>550027
The vast majority of women don't even know what the fuck radical feminism consists of beside it's the RF part of TERF lol

No. 550040

>>550038
I strongly disagree, most women have rejected radical feminism, and it's numbers are only depleting. I think it's patronising to suggest that the only reason women disagree is ignorance, but radical feminism consistently fails to examine or critique itself so it isnt surprising

No. 550044

>>550040
The level of irony in this is astounding.

No. 550048

>>550040
talk to you average woman over the age of 50 or so. they are all radfems in all but the name.

No. 550052

>>550048
they aren't, but if that were true radical feminism has really failed in its community organising because that seems like a huge missed opportunity

No. 550054

>>550048
nta, but I talk to multiple women over 50 on a regular basis and not a single one is a radfem. You really sound like you're grasping at straws.

No. 550058

>>550048
Or women who aren't white americans. The more misogynistic a country is, the more based their women are. Even the young pick-me's participate in FDS.

No. 550061

>>550058
>most women who aren't white americans are radfems

this HAS to be a joke….there's no way you are this tone deaf. White American women are literally the only people who are radfems (and the only people who it aims to help). I can't believe you would genuinely say this as if this is not one of radical feminisms biggest problems.

No. 550063

>>550058
>Or women who aren't white americans
>The more misogynistic a country is, the more based their women are.
i don't know where you're getting your facts from but these are completely wrong. my home country's news are filled to the brim with which woman died/got beat by her husband today on a daily basis and so many women know about it too but they still believe the only true way to live your life is to serve to your husband, have kids, cook, clean, if he hits you then you need to be quiet and let him, etc. and if you don't then you're as bad as a "whore" and "disrespecting your own culture"

No. 550066

>>550058
this is fucking retarded. women from more misogynistic countries/cultures being able to recognize that their men treat them like shit and their country/culture's gender values are ass-backwards, does not make them radfems. it just makes them aware of bad situation.

No. 550067

>>550066
thankyou omg

No. 550069

>>550067
seriously, being able to openly identify as a radical feminist is indicative of a TREMENDOUS amount of privilege, and to suggest otherwise is frankly insulting.

No. 550070

>>550069
Thank. You.

No. 550071

>>550069
>>550066
>>550063
>>550061
You're all implying that these women believe in the american brand of rf and that's not very intersectional of you. They absolutely hold rf-adjacent beliefs, they can not afford to live lives with little to no contact with men or be outspoken about it like a western radfem would suggest. Just because you don't see them sperging in english online doesn't mean it's not a thing talked about between mothers and sisters. But hey whatever helps you sleep at night.
t. knower

No. 550072

tbh if your gender is the axis of all your oppression (which isn't the case for any of the women in these countries or non white women) as is the case with radfem ideology, you are extremely privileged.

The demographic of women who identify as radical feminists have genuinely done as much if not more tangible harm to me and women like me's life than 'patriarchy' and they refuse to listen, reflect or critique on their ideology of permanent victimhood and refuse to acknowledge their capability to be the oppressor in many situations, their constant perceived innocence in society means they usually face any inadequate or no consequences in these situations

No. 550073

>>550071
you prescribing their beliefs to be rad-fem
'adjacent' (whatever that means) when they do not identify as such because it suits your ideological agenda is insulting and condescending

No. 550074

>>549998
first anon you're responding to, my response was pretty bitchy and thoughtless - i apologise for it. i understand your viewpoint, there's just a very nonchalant general attitude towards porn in the public and it's concerning. the cons of porn (on the side of both the consumer and the performers) heavily outweigh the supposed positives. it's very disheartening to see others call women insecure for not wanting their partner to masturbate to something as soulless and harmful as porn, it may be the case that they're insecure sometimes but other times it's out of concern or a (very understandable) discomfort.

porn is largely produced to appeal to straight men, so it's difficult to make a statement like "how would your boyfriend feel if you were jerking off to porn all the time" - they just won't care the same way because they tend to think it's hot for a woman to submit this way. they'd surely be uncomfortable/insecure if you were exclusively getting off to giant dicks or something though

No. 550076

>>550072
>the mean stinky feminists are ruining lives with their words!! they're worse than the men who rape kids and murder women everyday!!

No. 550077

>>550076
If that is genuinely what you took from this then you are a lost cause, and also part of the problem.

No. 550078

>>550077
nah, just wasn't interested in replying seriously since you don't know the difference between gender and sex

No. 550079

>>550074
NTA but are you religious? I don't understand why it inherently matters if it's soulless. Why does sex have to be moralised in this way? And is it fair to enforce this moral code on everyone else

No. 550081

File: 1588633201613.jpg (658.42 KB, 1200x1470, 6o91K1.jpg)

The TERFS left the imageboard and y'all are still talking about this shit.

No. 550082

File: 1588633304484.jpg (12.94 KB, 336x328, 1505790155339.jpg)


No. 550083

>>550081
Still no men allowed sorry("hi scrote")

No. 550084

>>550079
not religious, soulless wasn't a good word for what i meant i suppose. meant more that with all the abuse in the industry, porn is devoid of any sense of empathy. it really just lowers my mood thinking about it all, grim or depressing might be a better word

No. 550085

>>550084
I feel like tackling the problems in the industry may be a more healthy response than banning porn (if we assume this is possible) and in the long term have a much more significant impact on the life of the women involved

No. 550086

I'm tempted to try and attempt again. I have to get some things squared away first but I genuinely think I'm not meant to be here. I feel so angry and I'm tired of feeling like an angry waste or space. I keep ghosting my therapists and I don't feel like I'm depressed enough to have antidepressants.

The only thing keeping me alive right now is my boyfriend and my nephew. The last thing I want is my nephew to attempt because he also struggles with depression and I made him promise that he'd keep talking to me when he feels like he can't keep it up anymore. But he's also getting into therapy soon and his parents are aware of it so I'm sure he'll be okay.

My boyfriend because he's basically living in a prison with his family.

He's 20 and has no independence, he can't drive, doesn't have access to his birth certificate or his social security card, is not allowed to have a job and can't go get one because they live in the middle of nowhere save for a small store nearby. He can't just go walk and apply there either because they watch his every move and no form of ID.

I promised I'd get him out of there and I can't help but thinking that I can send him my savings. I'd need to save him at least 2,500.
Rent in his area is super cheap so once I know he has a roof over his head and a job I can do it.

I don't know

No. 550088

>>550085
ayrt, i agree in the sense that what you proposed is much more realistic. porn's always gonna be around and it's not an inherently harmful or bad thing imo, the execution of it is just nasty and almost too far gone

No. 550089

>>550086
Do you equate your self-worth with whether or not you're helpful to others? Do you believe that you'll feel better if you're able to save your boyfriend and nephew?

No. 550090

>>550088
>the execution of it is just nasty and almost too far gone

I don't agree with this. I really feel like a lot of the anti-porn anons in this thread just focus on HD porn that the industry produces primarily for straight men. What about amateur porn that women and couples post themselves?

I think it's really shortsighted to believe that everyone who participates in porn is being coerced or abused. Some people genuinely get off on being watched.

No. 550092

>>550090
that's fine and all, just can't ignore all the coercion that is rampant in the industry. of course there are plenty of people who upload porn w/o such grim circumstances but most people aren't exclusively watching amateur porn

No. 550094

>>550089
I love them and I just want to make sure they'll be okay without me. Its not really about saving them.

No. 550095

>some /pol/tard went on tinder and called random girls tr00ns who then get all offended

NGL I find that thread funny asf

Apparently those comments of "omg blaire white is more feminine than me" weren't sincere

https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/256091846/

No. 550096

>>550090
What sort of psychic powers do you have that allows you to watch amateur porn and know for a fact that the people in it a) consented and b) enjoy being watched?

Like, obviously there must be some women who enjoy and want to be in porn. But there's no way to guarantee it, so why risk the health and safety of a majority of women for the sake of a tiny minority that may or may not exist? If the great big sacrifice of banning porn is that people who get off on posting amateur porn lose their fetish… well it's no great fucking loss, is it? How on earth does that compare to protecting the huge number of trafficked, abused and manipulated women who end up in porn?

Valuing masturbatory material over ending real suffering… the lack of empathy is astounding. God forbid people just masturbate to written or drawn porn, or their imagination or their partner. Easy access to the bodies of strangers takes priority, obviously.

No. 550097

>>550096
>a) consented
To clarify, I mean they consented to the video being posted online. As opposed to the extremely common phenomena of revenge porn, or men just secretly uploading videos of their partners.

No. 550098

>>550094
I think they would really miss you and be devastated if you left. I think you owe it to both yourself and them to continue seeing your therapist, and maybe try antidepressants. The latter isn't a cure-all, but sometimes they can be just the boost you need when your depression has gotten to the point of suicide ideation. Imo, being suicidal is definitely an indicator that you are depressed enough to consider medication. You sound like a good person with a good heart, and I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

No. 550099

>>550095
Imagine hating trans people so much you are willing to shit on your own gender. Congrats.

>>550083
KEK

No. 550101

>>550099

I didn't shit on those girls?

Actually, I feel sorry for them, I'd be upset too if I was told I looked like a man

No. 550102

>>550096
I don't disagree with the points you've brought up here, but I don't understand how you think that banning porn entirely is a better alternative to increasing regulation of the industry. Naked bodies are visually appealing. Watching people have sex and get off is not only arousing, but exciting, and some would even say it constitutes a form of artistic/self-expression. Exhibitionism is a real thing, and I'm skeptical that only a minority of people experience this. People are going to find a way to view and distribute pornographic material regardless of whether or not it's legally available, so you might as well just work to make the existing industry more ethical.

Porn itself is not the problem, it's the people who market and produce it.

No. 550103

Damn pornfaggots are gonna make me act like a pp anon

>>550102

Fucking ban all men from producing porn then, is that more realistic to you??? They're ones creating the demand for loli gangbang

What makes you think that ethically sourced and produced porn is gonna deter non-ethical porn at all?

I don't think banning porn is a good idea either because moving it underground will just make people more likely to be exposed to the extra fucked up shit

The best course of action is ostracizing porn users, creating social pressure to shun porn usage, like with tobacco

Wtf I wish there were still containment threads for the radfems to argue with you idiots

No. 550105

>>550090
Even if it is "ethical" porn, it is still bad. It still rewires your brain to being hypersexual and is just as damaging to your mental health and sex life.

No. 550107

>>550102
Why do you need to watch other people engage in degenerate acts?
We should always be striving for higher ideals and virtues, both as a society and as an individual.
How are we to do that when we promote desires of the flesh and ultimately become consumed by them?

No. 550108

File: 1588637725764.jpg (22.97 KB, 337x367, 1506410277438.jpg)

>>550103
>The best course of action is ostracizing porn users, creating social pressure to shun porn usage, like with tobacco
>implying the use of ostracization is why people aren't smoking as much anymore
>implying it has nothing to do with the fact that decades of evidence have shown that it causes cancer and can lead to death
>implying that taxes on cigarettes haven't skyrocketed in recent years
>implying the use of shaming as a tactic to get someone to stop doing something hasn't been shown to produce the exact opposite behavior

Gee, I'm sure glad I wasted my time responding thoughtfully to your post just to have you tell me that the DARE method is the best way to tackle the porn problem. You sound like you have a really good grasp on basic human psychology.

No. 550109

File: 1588637835404.jpg (5.22 KB, 184x184, 1496375216457.jpg)


No. 550110

>>550071
>knower
kek
but no really, a huge proponent of most feminism is privilege, especially radical feminism. like >>550073 said, holding some manner of radfem adjacent believes is totally different than identifying as one. not to mention, some aspects can basically only apply to middle/upper class women anyway.

No. 550111

>>550108

Nice try there are plenty studies about negative effects of being coomer, physically and mentally and yes societal pressure did play a part in lessening smoking as well as other socially retarded behaviors

Do continue

No. 550112

>>550108
there's a reason the only people who think shaming works are under age 20.

No. 550114

>>550111
You're too emotionally unstable to have a legitimate discussion about this.

No. 550115

>>550111
anon, societal pressure didn't do shit to affect the actions of the people smoking. pressure needs to be towards law makers. if shaming the individual worked on smoking even, we wouldn't have had the need to pass laws against public smoking in restaurants and bars and the like in the 90s and early 00s. and less people smoke now because the media was shamed/pressured into not being pro-smoking, which lessened people smoking, not do to social stigma, but due to a lack of appeal. people need hand holding to show something is bad or not, they don't make their own choices.

No. 550116

>>550114
>emotionally unstable
This. They are unable to bring up actual arguments, these people are just completely hysterical and unreasonable.

No. 550121

>>550114

1. Make argument
2. Call disagreement emotional instability
3. ??
4. Win

>>550115

All of that still denotes social pressure anon

No. 550124

>>550121
>social pressure
it's not about social pressure vs lack there of, it's about who it's directed at, pay attention. you don't direct pressure at the individual who is consuming the product, they aren't the ones who created the product and they have no reason to believe that since the product exists and is legal, that it is bad. most people aren't that smart and can't be expected to simply change their pre-established behaviors willingly. i doubt you or anyone here would be able to do that, despite your feelings otherwise.

No. 550126

>>549998
>i tell my bf to watch porn because i feel bad that i'm chronically depressed and not in the mood to fuck him as much as he wants me to.
How does that solve the problem? Unironically, how is your relationship and overall life improved by telling your boyfriend to jerk off while staring at other women getting fucked and fantasizing about them? Do you feel good, or like it's healthy?
I'm also curious: What exactly renders him so incapable of masturbating to you? Is his brain so porn-rotted that he's lost the ability to actually fantasize about you anymore (and I'm assuming you don't take nudes, or he's decided that your body is "boring" now and you somehow thought that was normal and not insulting), or is this some Shoe0nHead "Sometimes, a king deserves another slave uwu"/"I feel guilty over my uncontrollable mental illness and have low self-esteem, so I offer you another bitch in my stead, dear good sir" shit? This is just pathetic, no matter how I look at it.
It makes no sense, and it doesn't even sound like he prefers it, so who exactly is winning? It seems like you hate yourself a lot, and the solution isn't going on Lolcow to call other women insecure and pathetic for not being at your level, anon.
>no answers to any of the questions about if the situation was reversed, just "n-no i'm not a cuckquean that's retarded"
Thanks, now I know what's up. I'm sure he respects you for this strong, empowered 21st century behavior.

No. 550127

>>550123

>How does that solve the problem? Unironically, how is your relationship and overall life improved by telling your boyfriend to jerk off while staring at other women getting fucked and fantasizing about them? Do you feel good, or like it's healthy?


it isn't, but i care about him and want him to satisfy his sexual impulses, even if i'm not in the mood. like i said, he's not that interested in porn these days, and often just masturbates using his imagination.

i'm genuinely indifferent to my boyfriend watching porn on occasion. i'm not threatened by porn stars. i don't suffer from poor body image. i don't know why that's so difficult for you to grasp.

>I'm sure he respects you for this strong, empowered 21st century behavior.


i have no doubt in my mind that my boyfriend respects me, actually. not all of us are dating assholes.

>>550126
christ, lmao. your initial post was fine. all this extra projecting and assumptions about me and my relationship just makes you look insecure and about 10x more mad.

No. 550128

>>550124

I think to make a law successfully passed and enforced we need general public support and awareness somewhat established prior

Maybe everyone is getting hung up on the word "shaming" like you don't have to call coomers retarded failed abortions if you don't want to

We just shouldn't coddle them and lie that it's normal and healthy and everyone does it

Weird how fragile porn users are when they're calling people insecure and feminazi for not participating

There's such a disconnect where they may acknowledge that the industry is insidious and how they do think it needs to change fundamentally AND YET they feel no personal responsibility for continuing consuming its products as is

How is it not worthy of shame

No. 550129

>>550128
It doesn't matter whether or not something is "worthy" of shame. The fact still stands that shaming as a tactic does not have a high success rate in promoting long-lasting behavioral changes.

No. 550130

>>550127
>projection and assumptions
I mean, I thankfully don't relate to your situation, kek. I respect myself, and am dating someone who's not a coomer.
I was genuinely curious about why he couldn't just jerk off to you, so I asked, but now you sound even more like you're on cope-mode. You shouldn't even have responded if your only real thing to say was "Porn stars don't threaten me!". Like, cool. Does that make this a healthy, good thing, though?
>like i said, he's not that interested in porn these days, and often just masturbates using his imagination.
And yet, you tried to brag about how you tell him to watch porn "all the time". Now, it's not even that common. So, you either want him to do it and actively encourage him (which is very weird and cringy), or you're backtracking since you realize now that this shit is embarrassing.
Anyway, mental health and therapy is better than the weird shit you're posting here and trying to defend. I'm not sure what you're gaining from trying to convince us it's cool, honestly, since no one here asked.

No. 550132

>>550128
you're again, missing the point. the awareness and public push comes from the people not involved in the action pushing the people responsible.

No. 550133

>>550072
What have they done that is worse than what men collectively have done lmao?

No. 550138

>>550129

Once again you don't have to "shame" your bf if you don't want to, you can buy them dinner and lube them up to it, whatever

I never said systematic change will occur solely by being meaaan, I personally shit on coomers because I hate them

But not sugarcoating and quietly tolerating degeneracy will at least give the smarter ones a chance to reflect and research privately

Also I've seen plenty of behavioral dissuasion ushered by societal pressure on actions that aren't legally described like (sorry) microaggressions

>>550132

I disagree, public awareness and protest often are the push for legal changes upon the shit peddling party

I think in a democracy change makes law as much as laws make change

No. 550139

Not to be THAT bitch, but I would take cancer over mental illness any day without hesitation

No. 550140

>>550130
>I respect myself, and am dating someone who's not a coomer.

good for you. i'm not either, as i've already stated numerous times. my boyfriend masturbates a normal amount. he is not addicted to masturbation. this is yet another assumption on your part.

>I was genuinely curious about why he couldn't just jerk off to you


i'm not sure what you mean by this. like, does he jerk off to nudes of me? images of me? he masturbates to me, yes, by using his imagination. i guess i should have made that more clear, but figured it was at least implied.

>"Porn stars don't threaten me!". Like, cool. Does that make this a healthy, good thing, though?


i've got enough problems without the added stress of jealousy over my boyfriend occasionally looking at naked women that aren't me. is that objectively healthy? i'm not sure. is it good? i'd say yes, mostly because i simply don't need any extra stress in my life right now.

>And yet, you tried to brag about how you tell him to watch porn "all the time". Now, it's not even that common. So, you either want him to do it and actively encourage him (which is very weird and cringy), or you're backtracking since you realize now that this shit is embarrassing.


"all the time" was a an exaggeration, admittedly. if he were watching porn all the time, that would actually be a problem.

when i'm not depressed, i have a very high sex drive, which more closely matches his. this might be a personal trait that contributes to why i encourage him to watch porn when i can't satisfy. i know that i would still want to get off if i were in his shoes.

>Anyway, mental health and therapy is better than the weird shit you're posting here and trying to defend.


i could make the same argument for your incessant need to pointlessly attack and shame me for having an opinion that you don't like.

>I'm not sure what you're gaining from trying to convince us it's cool, honestly, since no one here asked.


it's a confessions thread…nobody needed to ask, lmao. what a pointless thing to say. i posted it because being a woman who doesn't think watching porn is a big deal is somewhat controversial, and it's not something i've ever admitted openly. it was cathartic, i suppose.

No. 550142

>>550133
Calling them a pick-me and saying men aren’t women, absolutely unforgivable

No. 550143

>>550140
>i think that women who have a "no porn" policy with their partners are pathetic and insecure.
I mean, of course you were going to offend them with this. Most of em truly are insecure.

No. 550144

>>550140
Not gonna lie. I don't really feel like reading all this, but I'd feel weird about not replying after you typed this much, so I'll just say good luck, anon.
I'm sure there are far better options than telling your boyfriend to watch other women spread their cheeks because you're depressed and indifferent, then going on LC to declare that other women not doing so is actually what's negative. It just screams "cuck" to me on principle, and I don't think I'm alone in that. Godspeed.

No. 550146

>>550143
The thing with porn is guys never practice what they preach.
They can watch porn but let their gf say a male celebrity is cute or follow a guy on Instagram, they will lose their shit.

No. 550148

>>550140
NTA but sorry girl porn rots your brain
i've watched it a lot and it's not something that should be encouraged
tell your bf to stop before he falls deeper into the degeneracy hole

No. 550150

>>550143
calling it pathetic may have been a bit harsh, but it IS indicative insecurities. if your partner won't compromise with you on a deeply held value (ie: no porn), then the two of you aren't compatible and the relationship isn't going to last. trying to implement a no porn policy just reeks of desperation, and it's not even going to work if the other person doesn't feel the same. not to mention that, again, watching porn in moderation, like most things, is not a big deal.

>>550144
i genuinely don't care what you think of me. the fact that you continue to delude yourself into believing that you have any right to judge me when we're both wasting our time on a fucking gossip board of all places, is hysterical. maybe some day you'll realize that, and what an absolute hypocrite you are. better yet, maybe someday you'll gain some real self-worth and leave this place. i wish you luck as well.

>>550148
okay, i'll bite. show me evidence that watching porn IN MODERATION is enough to "rot your brain."

No. 550151

File: 1588644247825.gif (2.61 MB, 170x170, f33ae326331ac7db340e07fcd4c16a…)

>>550150
>i genuinely don't care what you think of me […]
Okay. Hope you get better soon. Not sure why you typed even more, but I saw the word "hysterical", so I figure you're just lashing out some more.

No. 550154

>>550139
Don't. Just don't. You can't possibly understand how terrible is to think this way. My mother screamed at her death bed to let her die because she was so, so tired of the cancer’s pain and everything that came around with it. She literally said to us that she wanted to be gone, that she couldn’t stand it anymore. That’s the last time I spoke to her. She suffered from anxiety and depression since she was 15 and even at her lowest points she didn’t get that much worse. So I want to believe what you’re saying it comes from desperation, nothing else.

No. 550155

File: 1588644657080.jpg (36.23 KB, 599x449, 1478764024593.jpg)

>>550151
>"i don't know why you typed even more"
>keeps responding to me anyway
>"i figured you're just lashing out some more"
>is the one who lashed out at me in the first place

aww anon, I thought you said you respected yourself? surely you have better things to do than to continue responding to a loss cause like me?

No. 550156

>>550151
>>550155
>reaction memes
How juvenile. Stop shitting up the thread.

No. 550157

>>550155
You sound…very irate, even though you said you didn't care. Did you want to reply to me, but also have me not respond? It probably would've helped if you had stated that first, all things considered.
I don't think anyone's a "lost cause", I wished you good luck. I don't think anyone deserves to be in the situation you described, and I'm sincere in that.
Do you want the last word or something? I won't stop you.

>>550156
Yeah, you're right, sorry.

No. 550162

>>550154
Sorry if I upset you. I lost an immediate family member to cancer too.. My experience with depression has always involved working up the courage to admit it to my family only to be shut down and told I'm dramatic or weak despite hiding my emotions and problems for over a decade. Wanting to die but not wanting to commit suicide puts you in a confusing state of mind where you feel like no one is taking you seriously or cares yet you can't end it. At least with physical illness there is no self-doubt and it's out of one's control and although I don't care for attention it would be nice for people to not dismiss what is chemically wrong with my brain. I'm high functioning but when I'm alone it really gets bad and medication didn't help and I can't afford therapy so it feels like I'm at a dead end. Again, sorry.

No. 550163

>>550086
You said your boyfriend's going through his own prison, but does he know about all of this, anon? Sometimes, more than a therapist, you just need someone who understands you intimately. I know it might make you feel like a burden, but having him comfort you might remind you that you're not a waste of space. I'm sure he would want you to know that, too.

No. 550168

My mother used to work at the university in my town. Sometimes after school I'd have to hang around there waiting for her to finish work.
One time I went to the nearest bathroom and while there decided to pee on the floor. Why? Just for the hell of it, I guess. I was like 12 or something at this point, I think so I did know better lol.

No. 550176

>>550150
what do you want me to? link you to all the studies appointing to that?
as you've said, your bf jerks off a lot and it may cause tiredness and indisposition for the rest of the day
and like he soon won't be satisfied with the vanilla shit either it's just a matter of time

No. 550178

I'm making furry porn for easy money and I'm ready to fucking shoot myself

No. 550185

Despite first Admin just wanting a GF and was flirting with a bunch of mods, I miss being a janitor (and then a mod) and the other moderators. I want to assume they're all gone and doing better with their lives while I'm on here almost every day thanks to Lillee Jean, kek.

I remember fighting for Sindypop's thread to remain open, that was honestly my biggest regret lmao.

No. 550186

>>550176
yes, i want actual evidence.(infighting/ baiting)

No. 550193

>>550138
i think you misunderstood me, yet again. i was saying that awareness and protest DO change things, but the protesting is against the BEHAVIOR, and NOT the people who are engaging in the behavior. you do seem a bit dense.

No. 550196

This isn't the thread to debate pornography and this definitely isn't the thread for you to try to validate your relationship choices. Move on.

No. 550205

During Chinese cringe AIDS, my underwear has become my onlywear

No. 550251

>>550196
farmhand doing something useful for once. thanks

No. 550256

The word privilege has been thrown around so much it's lost all meaning. I can't take anyone who says it seriously anymore

No. 550259

I often waste hours of a day reading old perfume databases online, I just find it really interesting for some reason

No. 550267

>>550259
Why? What are somethings that you've learned about perfume, anon? I'm just curious.

No. 550269

>>550267
I honestly am not sure, I just love perfume lol - I think it’s interesting how the same perfume can have such a different reaction to each individuals skin chemistry and how they often invoke such strong but conflicting feelings in different people. I find perfume composition and the way different notes work together fascinating. I like to be able to know all the notes that were used in a perfume especially extremely niche or discontinued ones that are hard to find, and I like learning about the history of different perfume houses and scents

No. 550274

I think it's my fault because I lack the ability to initiate sex, mostly due to trauma.
But every time I have sex with my boyfriend, it starts with him grabbing my arm and putting it on his crotch. It's not that I hate the sex but I'm not always in the mood and I'm always too put on the spot to try and say anything.
I know it's my fault too for not speaking up but I don't know how to, with my abuse I was made to never decline. I feel really ashamed of myself because of this, and I am afraid of hurting anything in our relationship

No. 550275

>>550126
>and fantasizing about them?

Thats not what porn is about though. Porn is visual stimulation aid that gets a person off. People here don't know the first thing about male sex drive and they never bother to learn since their own egos are so all encompassing. You think that other anon is sad? lmao Please go kvetch more about not owning your partners' sexuality.(move on)

No. 550277

File: 1588668943914.png (313.63 KB, 952x1344, cumbrains.png)

>>550275
>writing a paragraph angrily defending porn to revive an old discussion the farmhand already said to drop
Why do coomers do this? What's wrong with them?

No. 550278

I'm autistic and have gotten into watching female streamers with no or 1-3 viewers exclusively just to talk to other females about the games I play.

My best friend told me I'm just like a female fuckboi and I feel bad about it. I'm not hitting on them. I just love women and find their voices soothing….

No. 550281

>>550277

It was blatantly all about big fat ego, not ethics.

>angrily


projecc(move on)

No. 550282

>>550278
I kinda wanna do something like that now, Im desperately starved for female friendships based around nerdy shit.

No. 550283

>>550278
This doesn’t seem like a female fuckboy thing to me at all I think this seems harmless

No. 550284

>>550281
Nah, this was pretty angry:
>You think that other anon is sad? lmao Please go kvetch more about not owning your partners' sexuality.
Unsolved personal issues vibes

No. 550286

>>550284
Nope, mirth. Egotism coupled with myopia are funny from afar.

No. 550287


No. 550288

>>550283
This. It'd be nice if most people who watched streamers were just girls who wanted to chat and make friends.
"Fuckboi" would be if there was some sexual expectation involved.

No. 550289

>>550287

mope,

gnash more tho(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 550290

>>550289
projecc

>>550274
Have you tried talking it out with him, and does he know about the past abuse? You don't have anything to be ashamed of, you just need to find a way to set boundaries.(move on)

No. 550297

>>550269
>t. Jean-Baptiste Grenouille

No. 550364

This is my worst confession yet, and it really highlights my mental illness.
My ex boyfriend (who had a very nice body, and a great dick but also cheated on me and abused me) was trying to get into porn immediately after he graduated. He ended up posting soft core on tumblr of himself, but I never heard anything after.
Sometimes when I am watching porn I check the hands (I watch a lot of amateur) and sometimes pretend like it’s him as long as it’s similar enough.
As fucked up as it is, and as much as it would’ve hurt me years ago to see him sleep with other girls.

It’s the most backwards disgusting shit in my head.
I hate it. I am married even.
I am the worst.

No. 550375

my boyfriend used our quarantine work from home time to grow himself a mustache and he loves it but the truth is I hate it. it's not his mustache I hate, I just hate mustaches. I think they look awful on anyone and they remind me of my male family members from the 90s and I hate the way it feels when we kiss. but I feel so bad because he loves how it looks on him and I've mentioned my dislike for them in general before, but if he knew just how much I hate it he would be so sad and end up shaving it off only to make me happy and i dont want him to do that? idk I want him to make that decision without my influence but I dont think that's gonna happen lol

No. 550434

This is kind of too long for me to summarize neatly, but I'm dying to talk about it to an unbiased audience.

It's taken me a long time to look back on this clearly and accept it for what it was, but I was sexually and emotionally abused by my closest female friend for 4-5 years. Our friendship was messed up and codependent from the start because I met her after I moved from LA to the Midwest and we were some of the only "weird" people at our high school, so we became overly close very quickly. She became obsessive about me in a way that I didn't see until later. She has a truly huge social circle that spans several cities/states (via lolita and cosplay communities) and everyone who knows her understands that she's cold, selfish, and generally a bitch, but nobody really sees her as manipulative and abusive until they get close enough.

The first instance of her acting obsessive was in high school when she tricked me into getting in a car with her (I wasn't allowed to hang out with her so I had to lie), claiming we were just going to the local mall, and it wasn't until I noticed we were on the highway that she revealed we were going to another city hours away. My parents came to get me and I had to talk them down from calling the police. This kind of "trick" continued happening after I moved out for school–she would pick me up from my dorm and claim we were just hanging out at her house, and I would inevitably end up at some gross party, anime convention, or someone's apartment where she would get too drunk or busy hooking up with people to drive me home. I have a lot of repressed memories of waking up in random sketchy places with sketchy people. The smell of weed/vape smoke still makes me feel panicky for this reason, lol.

The sexual assault started when I left for university. She would often come to stay at my dorm and eventually started bringing me liquor. This turned into touching me and asking to hook up, and then I started letting her, and one day she asked me "why do you only let me do this when you're drunk?" and I guess that's when I realized she was taking advantage of me. I let it keep happening until one instance when she caused me physical pain/damage and as a result I felt extremely violated. If anyone is reading this I'm sure you're putting me at fault for letting it go on, or wondering why I didn't just cut ties. And I really don't know, my memories are foggy because I was extremely depressed and eating disordered (which she encouraged by calling me fat and inviting me to go throw up in the bathrooms with her whenever we went out together), and at the time I romanticized everything bad that happened to me–I thought depression wasn't real and sometimes even told myself, "if I want to be sad, I'll give myself real reason to cry." I guess at a certain point I also began to think that if I ended the friendship it would be "showing weakness" and letting her win. It was kind of a power trip to be with her at all, because she noticeably treated me better than all of her other friends and put me on a pedestal in front of them, for example giving me gifts and alcohol and not making me give her gas or hotel money like she did everyone else. It made me feel special, which obviously should've set off a red flag.

All of this peaked when I went to study abroad, and she came with me for the first week. She had a massive interest in the country so it wasn't like she was following me or anything, and I wasn't on high alert because I planned to ghost her once we were in different countries. On one of her last nights she invited me out to drink and I decided to go as my personal secret "goodbye" to her, by then I had become openly disdainful towards her and I figured I was safe. But she got the best of me again, coerced and tricked me into getting too drunk (physically forcing alcohol into my mouth at some points) and the last thing I remember is her ditching me at a convenience store with some guys we were with. I woke up in a disgusting motel room with one of them, and fortunately he was a nice enough guy that he helped me get home and seemed shocked when I used the word "rape." I don't want to go into detail about this but the drinking culture in that country really seems to enable men to think getting a girl unconscious and sleeping with her is normal, so I just tried to educate him and let it slide. Anyway, it was my fault for agreeing to go out or whatever. Of course, my female friend then pounced on this as another opportunity to manipulate me since we were now in a position where she was the only person I knew in a foreign country. She told me she was there for me and that she would do anything to help me, that I'm her best friend in the world, blah blah. Took no responsibility for leaving me with random local guys in a state where I could barely speak or stand.

So I guess my confession is that I still talk to this girl as if nothing was wrong, though I dodge her attempts to hang out. I still let her think she's one of my best friends but I hate her and I think I blame her for me getting raped, even if that's childish of me. I've only admitted this to my current boyfriend and her ex-gf, who has helped me deal with all of this as she went through similar experiences with her. Everyone in my life who knows this girl has begged me to cut ties with her, and my bf recently had a minor panic attack in front of me where he revealed that he was anxious about trust between us and that he knew I was still talking to her. I don't know why I can't cut her off. I'm scared of her, I don't want to deal with her questions if I ghost/block her, I feel like everything I just typed out was my own damn fault in the end so I'm just being a dramatic snowflake if I really think this girl brought harm to me. I don't want to "lose." I know she wouldn't agree with me if I told her how I experienced everything she did, so I wouldn't get any closure. But I love my boyfriend and her ex is one of my dearest friends, so I know I have to do this for them if not for myself. I just don't know how.

No. 550436

File: 1588695212806.gif (Spoiler Image, 645.45 KB, 480x270, fu.gif)

Secret so bad I can't even tell my friends about it, so. I met someone off an imageboard a few weeks ago. We text and video call every single day, sometimes lewd. We already decided after quarantine is over that we would want a serious relationship together. House, kids, pets, the lot. He even asked me about engagement ring ideas (and I sent him a fucking spreadsheet bc I'm all about build-a-bachelor caring about what I want). Feels like I have a more special connection than usual because this person shares a lot of my values, we have a lot in common, and he's my type. I honestly think he's being serious and he just wants a ring on it quick cause he thinks I'm out of his league. I mean, I kind of want this too and don't feel like I'd be settling based on what he's offering me.

I tell myself all this is fine because it'll be months yet before we meet so it's not like he'll be a total stranger then. But he kinda is now? How can I tell my friends that some guy online already wants to buy me my dream engagement ring just because we talked for a few weeks? And wants a house and children with me? Or, I dunno, is this in fact normal for adult men to know so quickly what they want and don't play games about it? Why should I fucking care if some who wants to gamble with a $20k ring to bid for my affection, when almost 4 years of my life went to another man who never showed an iota of that display of commitment? Is what he wants not also what I want?
I don't know what the fuck to believe anymore. I can barely believe what reality is right now. Isn't this what I want?

No. 550438

>>550436
off an imageboard? anon, he's going to at best mess you around, at worst murder you. are you fucking serious?

No. 550440

>>550438
Doubt it could honestly be as worse than the maniacs I've met off dedicated online dating spaces, like Tinder and OkC. It's weird but I feel 'known' bc he's into the same internet culture that I am. Also tbf we're kind of the same imageboard stereotype of psychos too so it's not like people have flattering things to say about imageboard users in general.

No. 550441

>>550438
God why are they this pathetic lmao

No. 550448

I am still fixated on my ex friend. I am disgusted by her and I can’t stop thinking about how much I hate her. She’s probably living as miserably as ever and I would die to know if she is.
I am not happy of being “satisfied“ (quote on quote because I think it’s making me miserable by proxy) by others suffering and I would honestly like to stop being obsessed over her. How do I stop?

No. 550452

>>550436
Lmaoooo enjoy the fluffy excitement now because once you spent any meaningful amount of time irl together, those rose colored glasses are gonna shatter pretty quick

No. 550453

>>550436
I agree that it's dangerous but I more or less met my best friend on 4chan a few years ago and we've traveled to various countries to meet up over the years. But we sent each other endless information about our pasts, our addresses, social media accounts etc before ever meeting up. Just make sure you really know him before you move forward, and don't expect it to be any different from regular relationships once you meet up. Everyone has flaws.

No. 550460

>>550453
I appreciate that anon, thank you.

>>550452
You expect me to disagree with you anon but I actually think you're right. Until he proves all this, it's bullshit to me which is why it's such a sorry secret. Because I want it so bad but have been burned so much before to know that talk means shit.

You're probably right and in best case scenario he'll give me what I want but I'll fucking hate him. I'll update this later.

No. 550503

>>550436
Why do you all keep meeting people off of imageboards? Very low IQ of you anon.

No. 550506

>>550499
>Welcome to the farm
t. newfag

No. 550509

>>550436
I honestly think you should either exploit him of money or just leave him because he has total catfish incel vibes and is a desperate guy. You are willingly swooning over a simp type because you think someone else "wasted your time" (4 years is not a lot lmao). If you really think he's marriage material, you better test his wallet and ask him to give you items and things you want online. If he chickens out of it, put pressure on him. If he says something like "I don't have the money right now" then leave him because the ring story is a lie.

No. 550510

>>550436
Which imageboard was it?

No. 550515

>>550453
>But we sent each other our addresses, social media accounts
oh yeah that made it so much safer. You don't know if you're dealing with a freak or not until after you've given them your vital information.

>>550436 be careful

No. 550519

>>550436
RIP nonny, she's gone

No. 550542

Damn ladies we aren't even meeting up if we are until like fall, late summer at best. Place your bets then lmao.

No. 550571

>>550436
>is this in fact normal for adult men to know so quickly what they want and don't play games about it?
Anyone who is ready to marry someone they've only talked to online for a few weeks is very young and naive or not normal. This guy is either an idealistic 18 year old or a desperate, unstable adult.

No. 550596

I'm with Icke. I don't believe Covid-19 exists.

No. 550599

File: 1588710502167.jpg (948.97 KB, 3264x1836, IMG_20200505_185458126.jpg)

>>550596
Dropped pic. Posted because IB.

No. 550606

>>550596
Can't tell if this is satire or not but fuck you still, a relative of mine died last week and this shit is no joke

No. 550607

i've been in and out of therapy my whole life and it's always made me feel like there's something wrong with it. it all started because i was raised by not really active grandparents since my parents were never around and my mom was a drug addict. i never was told why i was put in therapy. then in middle school I just stopped talking to my therapists because it legitimately didn't help and all they did was upset me. after trying multiple therapists throughout my teen years, i was forcibly hospitalized due to a talk I had with my last therapist who was a new therapist, who completely fucked me over. that forced hospitalization gave me genuine trauma the only way I got out was by lying that I was OK, when the only reason I wasn't OK was because they hospitalized me to begin with. once I was out, I immediately told that therapist to go fuck himself for what he put me through. this experience solidified my distrust in therapists. i haven't seen one since and have solely been working with myself and the resources I have available to me to better my mental health on my own terms.

i'm happier than I've ever been, and almost all of my childhood trauma and learned bullshit I've managed to un-learn and unpack.
but the thing is, I have a suspicion I might have some repressed trauma from my childhood, before I was placed in therapy.

my family has always been filled with deadbeats and since I was hardly raised by my grandparents and they just left me in my room to rot on my laptop for the first decade of my life, apparently there were rumors in the family that I might've been molested or something by a family member or someone when I was younger. I wouldn't be surprised, since when my mom had me when I was very young, there were instances I'd be around drug users/apparently a story my aunt told me where she tried to trade me as an infant for drugs. i don't know the validity of this, but considering my own personal sexual trauma and sex issues that dates back as far as I can remember it, I wouldn't be surprised.

are there resources for unearthing repressed memories or unpacking sexual trauma that don't involve therapy or seeing a therapist? i don't want to re-traumatize myself or waste my time or money dealing with therapy when all of my dozens of efforts throughout the years have been useless or resulted in more trouble than it's worth. but repressed childhood memories have always been something i've wondered if I have.

No. 550609

>>550606
Not satire. Don't judge unless you've watched the stream. My best friend was tested positive, my bfs uncle died from, they say, Covid. It's an illness, but not a pandemic. It's my belief, everyone's free to their own opinion.

No. 550611

>>550609
wtf? It's an illness but not a pandemic? What constitutes as a pandemic to your dumb ass if not what's happening now?

No. 550612

>>550607
You should be really careful about going searching for "repressed memories". You're just as likely to give yourself a false memory (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_memory_syndrome). If nothing comes organically to you as a flashback, I wouldn't go digging. Memory is finecky af.

No. 550613

>>550611
I'm not here to get on a soapbox. The information's a click away. Question everything.

No. 550614

>>550607
I think therapy is the only way of way of unearthing it tbh. I've always tapped out of therapy as soon as my childhood is brought up, hard to know whether it's worth opening pandoras box.

There's hypnosis that claims to bring back repressed memories but I've heard some real horror stories about it, people being further traumatized by the experience or the memories being completely false.

No. 550625

My boyfriend has been into some really weird stuff. And I just go with it, i feel like its sometimes abusive but i never say not to.
I really like him but i dont like doing the kinda stuff he wants me to do.

No. 550629

>>550625
say nothing and keep doing what gets him off like a nice little girl

No. 550647

>>550625
Creepy anon aside, don't do anything you're not sexually comfortable with. That's not fair to you. You need to set boundaries and if he doesn't respect those he's not a guy worth liking or a nice guy at all.

No. 550651

>>550647
That anon was clearly being sarcastic

No. 550658

>>550651
How is that sarcastic? My mistake for not getting if it truly is but sarcasm doesn't really convey well over the internet.

No. 550659

>>550658
She's telling her to keep being a handmaiden since anon clearly can't say no to that pervy shit

No. 550665

I sometimes want to join those "problematic" and weird fandoms (such as South Park, Hetalia, Homestuck, Osomatsu, etc.) because I really want to see why people always have been making them out to be these absolutely horrible places on earth to hang out and if you're a part of them, then you're the worst scum to ever exist bla bla.
Even considered making a fake furzona and diving deep into this one furry forum I found, because the topics there just seemed entertainment worthy.
I've been busying myself lately all thanks to the quarantine with these weird fandoms with bad reputations and also read the KF thread of @/todokaras and she's this mentally unhinged Osomatsu fan and it was probably one of the most entertaining things I've read in a while. There was also another one of this 20 something year old extreme Hisogon shipper with NSFW drawings of them on her inactive Instagram who also made guro drawings of MP100 characters, but I forgot her name and user.

I'm just weirdly attracted to these fandoms and mostly on the weird stuff they do, that's all.

No. 550689

once i sent someone's "sex work" reddit to her mom, i don't even know her irl i just found her tweets annoying.

the only reason i even suspected she was trying to do "sw" was because she put her amazon wishlist in her bio. lo an behold she only uses like 4 different usernames so it was easy to find

No. 550691

>>550689
you sound like a miserable loser with a boring empty life

No. 550710

>>550689
>>550691

I'm sure she's okay with her mom knowing she's a whore. SW is real work so I'm sUre she's proud of it uwu

No. 550712

>>550689
that's something i would do tbh

>>550691
well, it's lolcow.farm after all

No. 550716

>>550710
You do not care about women at all

No. 550717

>>550716
here we go again with muh feminism
go back to twitter.

No. 550729

>>550717
If you claim to be against sex work because it harms women then why are you trying to further ruin the lives and patronise the women being 'harmed'? Because you don't care and just want an excuse to call other women sluts and whores like a pick me femcel. Go back to r9k radfembot(hi radfem)

No. 550730

>>550729
Why would it ruin their lives? Do e-whores really believe they can show their face online like a dumbass and stay hidden, in this day and age? If a person is smoking crack and someone tells their boss they're smoking crack, is it the crack smoking that's ruining their life or the snitching?

Also are you implying that slut and whore are bad words? Some are proud sluts and whores tyvm. That's not very feminist of you.

>pick me femcel

>r9k radfembot
SOmeone just learned a buncha new words kek

No. 550731

>>550729
i'm not against sex work, i've never been to r9k, i'm not even a radfem, dumbass. keep screaming into the void kek

No. 550732


No. 550733

>>550732
there's plenty of threads about sw like Shayna, are you going to lose your shit over those too? lol

No. 550735

>>550730
Since when does lolcow hate feminism (not counting radfems and manhaters) and think that it's okay to call other women whores? I'll get banned for saying this, but this seems very much like a scrote post. I don't know many women who refer to sex workers as "e-whores"(hi scrote)

No. 550737

>>550735
a lot of these kind of women who are against sex work because they're oh so concerned about the victims well being call women whores or e-whores and have been doing it on lolcow for a while honestly

No. 550738

>>550735
>>550737
lolcow isn't a hivemind, stop sperging over one single post you retards. you're being as bad as ratfems now [especially with that hi scrote lmao]. and i'll call a whore a whore if i want too, there's nothing you can do about it.(15 year old spamchan)

No. 550739

>>550738
ok and I can say it makes you sound like a pathetic femcel if I want to?

No. 550740

>>550735
What's wrong with calling whores, whores? I don't call random women who don't sell sexual services for capital, literal sense of the word, whores. You're so pro-sw but seem weirdly ashamed of it? SW twitter calls themselves whore and slut all the time? The fuck, please explain

No. 550741

>>550739
still better than being a downtown hooker

No. 550742

>>550738
Some real winners on this site kek

No. 550743


No. 550744

imagine being on lolcow.farm, where we mock mentally ill women all the time, and bitch because some anon is being a meanie towards a sex worker! oh no! fucking moralfags(15 year old spamchan)

No. 550745

>>550744
and even then cowtipping is against the rules, she didn't 'mock' or 'be mean' to her she sent the profile of some random girl she didn't know to her mom for no reason

No. 550746

>>550745
how is that cowtipping? op didn't specify that the sw was a lolcow. and honestly, this is the confession thread, idk why you're doing this again
>We do not judge here, we just confess.
you're not going to get pussy here my dude, move on

No. 550748

File: 1588733183420.jpg (28.26 KB, 720x405, 0nz26K9.jpg)

>>550743
So you agree I'm using it perfectly in context. Imagine actually trying to argue that sex workers aren't whores…
>>550745
Cowtipping only applies to cows posted here you flaming retard

No. 550749

>>550748
THEY made the comparison to the women posted here, so I am saying that even in THEIR comparison it would be against the rules here, that it isn't an equivalent of the 'mocking' people do here

No. 550754

>>550749
i'm saying that it's hypocritical of you to be pissed off at this on this specific imageboard, loosen up your helmet's straps

No. 550755

I spend much more time watching YT videos about books than I do actually reading