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File: 1580582228869.jpeg (39 KB, 400x300, 2EFD07B1-6D8A-402B-8A64-167A45…)

No. 509469

Previous thread:

No. 509471

I hate it when people talk about natural beauty and how we should embrace the body we got. It's easy to say when you are conventionally attractive. Hopefully in the future we will live in a virtual reality and I can have the appearance I dream of.

No. 509480

what is your ideal look, anon?

No. 509483

File: 1580583502474.jpg (40.01 KB, 512x512, uiuio6rddd.jpg)

>tfw wanted to save a lot of money this year
>Nintendo decides drops all this cute animal crossing themed shit


No. 509484

Imo "embracing the body you've got" is code for moving on. If you can't change it you can't change it.

No. 509490

I'm glad I didn't buy a switch because I'll most likely buy the limited edition one. I missed the 3ds version years ago which inflated to hell or is hard to find so hell yeah I'm getting it.

No. 509492

oh the new ac switch came out? gotta check it out thnx.
ps how did you find out about it?

No. 509493

this. whenever I hear someone praising "natural beauty" and saying you shouldn't get plastic surgery or alter yourself is is someone with good proportions (if not near perfect) and other ideal features. I've never seen someone with a huge forehead, tiny wideset eyes, big nose and buck teeth talking about how they don't wear makeup and you shouldn't get plastic surgery etc.

No. 509500

Damn anon you nailed my coworker everyone deems a natural beauty. Except she had naturally larger lips and not so thin waist.

No. 509503

Since you've mentioned it, I really wish I had a small forehead.

No. 509505

My boyfriend and I got into a really dumb argument over me not being able to accept his compliments bc of my trust issues and major insecurities. In the heat of the argument he said that if I keep being like that I won't have a boyfriend anymore, and to leave him alone for about 2 days. But then he followed it up by telling me he still loves me and to not panic because he just needs some time away. I know what we argued over was stupid, but I just don't know what to do now…? I'm waiting until he texts me again, but I don't know how to answer when he does. Talk about it a lil, carry on like everything is normal?

I just really struggle to accept compliments from him, I know it's stupid, but I just really don't see what he sees. I always worry that I'm not his type even though he always tells me that I am. If only I could get over my dumb insecurities that are literally ruining my relationship. Sigh.

No. 509507

File: 1580585084905.jpeg (62.15 KB, 1200x800, tom_nook_has_robbed_me_yet_aga…)

Me too! I'm glad I waited. It's so fucking cute and now I'm glad I don't have to go through the trouble of buying skins to cover a plain black dock and ugly red/blue joy cons. Kinda annoyed the game doesn't just come built into the thing tho.

My twitter feed and friend circle has been nothing but pre-ordering and talking about the animal crossing switch. As much as I hate how passive aggressive a lot of nerdy artists on twitter can be, they're really good at keeping me up to date with the new stuff. Following Nintendo's official account also helps.

No. 509510

From last post:

My family was trying to have me piss all of my money away two days after being paid. Yes, I know I was fucked up for using my brother’s credit/debit card information to pay my college debt (took $120 on one and $50 on the other) without realizing one of them belonged to his baby-momma since both were under his name and letting my own rage and thirst for payback get the best of me by doing so.

I’ve paid the amount I took to the school with what little wage I was paid and confirmed the dispute, and now I was supposed to pay $260 after my mom gave me $100 for me to deposit into my card in order to pay our family-shared phone bill when I originally had $158 in my account. I essentially have $258 now so I knew they wanted it all gone.

Isn’t that enough punishment for one day?! Don’t talk to me, treat me like an outsider and distrust me. I’ve been used to it for a very long time and there’s not a day that goes by that I still remember those feelings of abandonment and unwantedness, but how the fuck am I going to survive for the next two weeks with only $30, mother?! They talk about what I did was wrong and revenge is not the answer (which I completely agree and realize my wicked ways) but are trying to get back at me on his behalf isn’t right either.

Fuck you mom, stepdad and crackhead brother; you will not have your victory and you will not see me broke!!!!

No. 509513

i'm a goddamn idiot i forgot to register for an exam, i thought the deadline was today, but it ended yesterday aaaaaah

No. 509519

I have to finish a project this weekend by myself, since my partner is away and it's due Tuesday. fml

No. 509527

don't worry about that, it's an example of someone saying stupid shit while angry. just relax, leave him alone for a while and when you're in a better state of mind think of a constructive way to improve this complimenting issue.

No. 509542

I hate eating healthy. My skin has been looking terrible lately, so I decided to make changes to my diet and ahh I miss my pot noodles and chocolate so much. It's really hard to eat healthy food that is filling enough too. I feel like I have to eat a LOT before I'm satisfied and it's annoying.

No. 509544

Kinda annoys me how the beauty community is now basically just ran by men. If fashion wasn't enough, now make up is. Yeah, Nikki is trans and all.But still :(

No. 509545


That just sounds depressing

As if people aren't already glued to screens and antisocial af

No. 509553

File: 1580596460297.png (1.28 MB, 1098x1182, 1475407264963.png)

It's haven't been even a week since i moved out to another city (my 6y older sister lives there and rent is much cheaper) and sis already tells me if it wouldn't be better to find a friend to rent a flat with, because it would be even cheaper. I have found current flat with her ffs. She pushes me into living only from money I earn and not taking money from dad anymore to "unburden" him which is impossible for me right now - I barely have 2 months of job experience as graphic designer and until you're few years in the industry, you will be pretty underpaid. I want to focus on getting ANY job there or even another intership, just to get more experience. As if I haven't been feeling like a burden already. I mean, my dad left me to live only with my toxic mother, have a new family now (also his youngest son is deadly ill) and I barely have a chance to talk with him because of that. Dunno if I put it into right words, but once I will stopp getting money from him (since my mom barely gives me any money), it will make me feel even more like a something he has left behind to start a new life.

No. 509557

beauty has always been run by men. when has it ever been run by women?

No. 509560

File: 1580598008690.jpeg (611.91 KB, 828x796, E259DDC9-058D-4FAC-A606-F52356…)

Trying not to break down crying bc I know I'll never look like this unless I get plastic surgery, microblading and enough money to afford skincare and nice clothing. Lol.

No. 509562


No, what I mean is that now more than ever especially on YouTube that all the top gurus are all men. Technically.

It’s depressing.

No. 509564

Man, I agree. I just got recommended that guy, something Welsh, after watching a woman put her makeup on (albeit her style isn't my thing but that's part of the fun, people just doing their own thing right? Btw this is a rhetorical question don't respond) And his video was like "WHAT THESE MAKEUP YOUTUBERS ARE DOING WRONG"like whoooo the FUCK are you? They're all successful YouTubers and you're like "oh they're wrong"blegit I don't even remember his first name tbh idk any of the YouTubers he featured either but idc I didn't even watch the video because I really dont care men go for the blandest pornstar look anyway so I don't even
But like for real
Be a man, do man stuff like trees I don't care about your opinion on makeups Tuuber S like reeeeeeeeee

No. 509566

you should just be happy you don't have a tick on your shoulder

No. 509573

I mean the girl in the pic doesn't look like that either lol

No. 509580

Some old people in my building got locked out of their car so I tried to help, all i got was the woman giving me a speech about god, calling me fat and complaining about Obama being a muslim. Needless to say I will not be helping any more old people in the future.

No. 509597

I saw a story about a woman like that on reddit. I wonder if it's the same woman kek.

No. 509598

I'm sorry anon, but at least it's a pretty funny story
>try to be a genuinely nice person and help them

No. 509611

File: 1580605382800.jpg (29.96 KB, 481x481, Cf24pHrW8AAvOa-.jpg)

I'm so horrendous at my job.
It's so crushing because like, I want to do a good job… I've been told I'm amazing with the customer service part, to the point of being asked how I do it, told I have the perfect energy for it (i feel like this sounds like bragging but.. )
It's just so hard for me to focus on other things, my current location is really hectic as opposed to others, we get crazy levels of customers every hour. I'll just completely forget to do things I KNOW is my responsibility to do, or forget how to do things, even though I'll repeat it many times in my head. Or I just get overwhelmed fast. It sucks because I do work at another close location and it's so much calmer and "my speed" there… but I don't think I can relocate.

In the end of it all I think I genuinely have ADD, everything adds up, even when I'm at home, and that's just a whole nother embarrassment, even though I know I shouldn't be embarrassed by it. I have 4 other disorders ranging from fairly serious to pretty severe. Every time I start calming one disorder, something else pops up and starts fucking up my life.

At my current location, I also have a manager who targets me specifically with genuine bullying, and I'm sure it's because I slip up a lot and get confused over easy things. Usually it's just sarcasm, or snapping her fingers at me and rudely telling me what needs to be done, when I was clearly going to do it. But a little while ago she was talking to a coworker how our computers we use to clock in were broken, so I came up and asked her what was up with it, since I didn't want to not know if say, my hours didn't get logged, and she scoffed and asked me why I was "butting in on a conversation that wasn't mine," an called me rude, and then when I started getting anxious over it she just laughed and said I was too cute…
I brought that up to the manager of the other location and she told me to tell my store manager because she didn't think that the woman who was rude to me really meant it like that.. It's so awkward I feel my stomach churn at the idea of trying to talk about it, I really hate confrontation even though I know nothing'll change without it.

No. 509614

my apartment maintenance cannot fix my heater no matter how many times they come in, and aren't being transparent at all. I have emailed them outside the maintenance request site asking about what the problem is because im tired of requesting maintenance who fixes nothing. they didn't reply, just sent someone out without telling me.
it's freezing outside and im always fucking cold, esp in the morning when i wake up at 6:30 for my 3 day a week 8 am class. they come in fuck around then leave and say it was dealt with, acting like this isn't a huge priority

No. 509624

If you're getting chocolate cravings you can still eat chocolate, you just need to be more careful about it. Look for the bars from brands such as Lindt that have a higher percentage of cacao and less sugar. You can also use a smaller amount of chocolate in different dishes to satisfy the cravings. A simple dessert would be fresh strawberries and creme fresh with some chocolate shavings.

No. 509632

Have you bought or can you buy a small space heater, anon? Those will fight off the cold for the time being until you can get a resolution from this.

No. 509637

I started taking abilify. it seemed to help with my psychotic thinking somewhat which is amazing but now it doesn't seem to be helping as much. I can't tell if I just got used to it or if it stopped working. but it's making me SO fucking hungry. I already deal with being hungry all the time but god damn it I'm literally never full on this medication. I'm already overweight and hoping to lose weight and this is not helping..

No. 509638

Accidentally knocked some shit off out overcrowded kitchen counter and watch my stupid manbaby dad throw the shit fit of the century over some stupid powder and red ginseng extract that hes left sitting on the counter for YEARS. I cleaned up the mess and vacuumed, and already told him to watch out for stray glass pieces cause I dropped something but man. It’d be nice to move the fuck out and not live in fear of a fucking manchild.

No. 509644

I can relate, anon. I think what might help you is being more organized and setting a certain schedule for yourself to do certain tasks. Write down how you should manage your time in a notebook and look back to it during your shift. Your job might have some training materials that can help, too.

Your manager sounds jerky, but I can tell you it is pretty frustrating to have to remind employees constantly about things they have been told to do several times before. Having to micromanage adults really sucks. I would tell her the language she uses isn't conducive to a good learning environment for you. Tell her you feel like she's coming off as dismissive when you genuinely want to learn and improve. Ask for guidance. Ask what she would do in a situation that you're confused about.

Customer service jobs are incredibly draining. Being a natural at interacting with people is nothing to scoff at. It sounds like you have the most important part down and that's awesome!

No. 509652

yeah i have actually, but the problem is that my apartment isn't insulated well so the air, though it's so warm, only can be felt like 2 feet in front of it. the ac unit can be felt throughout the whole apartment but blows neutral air that's cool, and sometimes but rarely a little teency bit warm that i can barely differentiate from the cool air.

the space heater and heated blanket i do have hold me over but barely, and it's annoying to constantly move them around the apartment to be stay warm but that's getting old

No. 509655

I'm forever grateful for old people who are thankful for help. So many entitled old fucks out there who think their time on Earth equals others' patience.

No. 509676

Ability worked wonders for my PTSD and OCD. It strangely gave me a walking limp when they upped the doseage, but by the time I was able to recover and cope with the symptoms, I was able to wean off of it. Hopefully it continues to work for you anon.

No. 509677

TFW in love with some long dead japanese man. Daijoubu desu.

No. 509685

A bunch of new edgy teens have joined my server that’s mainly for people that are 23-29 and and they keep using terms like “smol” “be gentle” “uwuwuwuwu” and other autistic internet speak


No. 509689

The weird rising of young adults adopting this baby speak is embarrassing. I guess it's similar to the "teh lul randumz" speak of the 2000s, but even that was embarrassing to be associated with.

No. 509696

All the positivity left in my body is slowly draining away. My body is becoming dry. I hate February.

No. 509704

I think I'm a really sensitive person. Sensory wise, I mean. Like if someone is constantly and irregularly snorting nearby I end up flinching because the sound becomes so triggering, same with people who can't speak quietly. Or even normally. When I lived in a big city I'd need to wear earplugs to take a relaxing walk. What I'm venting about though is nobody in my life taking it seriously that it bothers the fuck out of me. My bf gets annoyed when I ask him to wait with what he's saying because there's a loud group of people/cars nearby and i cant focus. He doesn't get how I can't just tune it out, but it may as well be someone shouting directly in my ear with how abrasive it is.

My closest friends know I'm sensitive but only the one that has high functioning autism understands and we take measures. The others are just like "lol ur so sensitive, I didn't even notice".

No. 509714

I feel you so fucking much. Some noises like loud mastication, talking on the phone, sniffing, etc. drive me so crazy I have to switch to another train car. Nobody I know feels like that so I'm just treated as a fussy bitch. I can't understand how it doesn't bother people. And as soon as we're out of the city's noises, they turn on music or something, it's like they hate silence and quiet. Imo silence has become a luxury, you can't escape noise when you're in public (and sometimes at home too if your neighbours are shit). I've got the same thing with smells such as cheap and strong perfumes, cigarette, sweat, etc. Drives me up the wall.

My solution is having noise cancelling earphones and earplugs on me at all times and, for the smells, covering my nose with a thick scarf that I wash regularly with something that doesn't smell invasive. (Only works in the winter though.) I also avoid going out when I'm already on edge.

No. 509716

File: 1580632236167.jpg (176.34 KB, 800x600, Irabu.Ichiro.full.1213966.jpg)

Every now and then I think about this guy I met online years ago on a site called iScribble. He was 16 and I was 14, I had a crush on him but kept myself to a dumb policy of 'watching from afar', then the friendship fizzled out and my computer died along with his contact details.
I'm probably misremembering, I swear he unironically headpatted me in roleplay but he also showed a real interest when I wanted to talk about dumb school shit to showing my depression which he said he could relate to. And he drew my favourite Vocaloid once, he didn't say it was for me but I think so. He said he was jealous of my drawing but he was just as good. At one point we told each other our first names, but I can't remember his anymore.

I don't know where he is now but I hope he's okay and want him to know he brought some happiness into some of the worst years of my life. Pic related is the main character he liked to roleplay as.

No. 509719

Misophonia is a fucking bitch. One of my worst triggers is the sound of chewing, and it's a million times worse when it's my family. It really makes me feel like shit when the sound of my parents chewing makes me want to punch them in the face. It's such a bizarre, irrational thing, I've read that it's common to feel extra angry at your family members but it just makes me feel like a freak.

(I love the OP pic though, poor Akari)

No. 509724

Is it me or does /ot/ have an influx of people with severe reading comprehension problems and a twist or 100 in their knickers? I mean I understand that stress can cause you to misunderstand things but calm your tits smh.

No. 509729

I feel like alot of posters disagree with well thought out posts just for the sake of disagreeing

No. 509730

Sometimes I feel like I have anger management issues because those words and including the words "wholesome" and "comfy" makes me want to stay far away from them. Like minus the baby speak, they're such positive words, but the people that use them are… Usually not really positive people.

No. 509732

Aw anon, that's quite sad. The thing about internet people is that they're too easy to lose. Who is your favourite vocaloid?

No. 509733

In a way I'm glad discussions about misophonia are taking place because it lets me know that I'm not alone!!
I can't concentrate when anyone is speaking loudly. My dad is slamming cupboards downstairs rn and shouting at my cat and I just can't handle it. I feel autistic. I have to listen to brown noise almost 24/7 to block noises out, but I'm not sure how good that is for me in the long run…

No. 509739

I had a dream about someone in a Discord channel I frequent. I feel like I developed some sort of a crush on him because of the dream and he was hitting on me in the dream and I was fine with it. What makes it worse is he lives fairly close to me, but we've never met. I do want to actually meet him because he does seem like a cool guy to hang out with locally, but I don't want to actually date him. I already have a boyfriend of five years and we live together and everything. I rarely interact with people outside of my bf and coworkers, maybe it's just my mind confusing closeness with romance? Is that weird? Any other people who normally interact with 3 people at most on a daily basis like this too?

No. 509743

Having 3 friends and a boyfriend is plenty, I think using discord is a very bad idea if you're impulsive and are in a gender mixed shitposting tier server. Leave the discord server, and do some fun things with your actual boyfriend and other 3 friends. If you don't like your current friends, make new ones.

No. 509751

I really didn't have issues with noise until I got tinnitus, I have a friend who's an audiologist and she said there seems to be a link between the two. Before I had no problems with the sound of chewing or drinking but now I'm so beyond disgusted by it. Those ASMR mouth sound videos make me want to punch walls. I also have "normal" tinnitus symptoms like being unable to concentrate on a specific sound when there's noise coming from several different directions, but it doesn't really annoy me on a visceral level in the same way the sounds that trigger my misophonia do. It's so bizarre that one should feel repulsed to the point of anger by mundane noises. It really does make you feel like some sort of sperg.

No. 509753

Nta but I had misophonia way before I got tinnitus. I have the same triggers as you. I find any chewing or mouth sounds absolutely repulsive.
My mom is a loud eater and she makes smacking noises and shit and it drives me insane so I eat alone whenever I can.
My friends were making fun of me once cause they were chewing gum like a cow and it was so bad and loud that I called them out. They thought I was crazy freak.
I've never called people out ever since, I don't wanna embarrass them or make myself look weird.

No. 509760

I forgot to mention two of the three people are my boyfriend and his mom lol, so I basically only have one friend and she's usually busy with work like me. Tbh, I will try to make plans with her soon, it's been almost a year since I've done something with a friend. I think the fact I recently moved to a new city I just feel so busy, but at the same time less busy because I have shorter commute times for everything compared to before. Now that I think about it, the dream is just reflecting about how hectic things have been lately, the Discord friend is probably because I talked to him recently. I just thought it was odd because I usually only visit the server for 30 minutes a day, the longest time was last week when I was home by myself and we were all voice chatting for 4 hours straight and that was probably the most amount of constant interaction I had that week. My boyfriend's work hours have shifted around at the time so I barely saw him too.

No. 509769

I think it's good that there's more research done on it, I don't think it necessarily needs to be classified as a medical condition per se, but just as something that affects some people (eloquent, I know), like how some people sneeze when they look at the sun, or things to that effect. Ever since I learned it has a name I try to spread it as much as I can, so many people say they felt like they were the only one and completely crazy for having such a weird reaction.

No. 509778

Maybe this is ironic on a gossip site, but I hate how everyone in my family gossips about other family members. I spoke to my uncle last month for career advice because he used to work in a similar field, and he wound up telling my aunt who told everyone all this incorrect stuff about me quitting (and posted it on facebook for some reason). My other aunt also tells me all this random shit about other family members in casual conversation, like this person has diabetes, this cousin is failing high school, this uncle is going to AA.

I guess none of these things are "secrets" particularly, but it feels like there should be some discretion.

No. 509779

It's not ironic. Family should be united and respect each other, not talk shit about each other.

No. 509783

yooo, i loved iscribble. i used it for years! i made so many good friends on there and tbh the fun of image rp in that time can never be beat. i did find out my long term friend on there was a catfish tho.

No. 509787

I've been thinking a lot about social media recently. I've been dating this guy for the past month who doesn't have social media, and the way I feel about him not having any makes me concerned for how much I've let it consume me. And I don't even think I'm a hardcore user.
I've come to realize that I hate social media and yet I don't trust men if they don't have one. I get this gut feeling about "what are you trying to hide" or "do I even really know you" and it's a little sad that I've been conditioned to feel that way.

The only social media I have is facebook. I've been hating it more and more lately because it seems like everything is tailored to lure me into buying something. From the literal ads, to my friends humblebragging about their most recent product purchases or something they did that involves money or wanting to do something together that involves money. And I'm just so sick of killing myself to feed into a system that only recognizes me if I'm pretty and vain enough for selfies everyday, or if I've got money to spend to make my life seem interesting.
I cut back on both recently and I've noticed the drop in interaction, no one ever comments and I'm lucky to get ten likes on a post anymore. Hell the shared posts get more attention than my own. It's made me feel invisible, but I've also noticed other people aren't really getting interactions much either. A friend or two ocassionally gets on my case to joint Instagram, but I don't want to do that. It's just another repackaged platform designed to keep people on a treadmill of feeling like shit.

I like using facebook's lookback features to see my past stuff, because I don't keep a journal and it makes me feel secure knowing some kind of documentation about the past decade of my life exists.
I like how I can look at events and birthdays for the millionth time because I'm too lazy to write down information, keep a calendar, or have a conversation where I ask those questions.
I like how I can know what my friends are up to virtually on demand, without necessarily having to interact as well.

I think it's making me a malsocialized person. I should just get a journal, a planner, and actually call and text my friends sometimes.

No. 509788

i’m a very shy person with no friends and no social life. all i have for now is my boyfriend and we see each other every weekend. i really thought i was doing a good job socializing with him, i feel like i talk the most to him and we always have conversations. we message each other literally all day when we don’t see each other too. i even thought i was talking too much when i’m around him. well last night he told me i don’t talk much, he feels like he’s the only one talking when we’re together and that i only talk in response to him. it really killed me and made me feel terrible. then he told me to “be more spontaneous” and it crushed me even more. i told him that sort of thing is like what a guy says to his wife of 20 years… i asked him if he thinks i’m boring and he kept insisting no but i really feel like he does. he told me i shouldn’t have to try at talking a lot and opening up, that it should come naturally. but i guess it just doesn’t to me. i don’t know how to do better. when i’m not with him i’m silent all day unless i’m at school, and i’m trying to talk to classmates more. i just feel so boring and horrible and i don’t feel like i’m a “fun” girl. i guess it’s hard because him and i are both introverts but still.. he’s more social than me. fml

No. 509794

File: 1580661020294.jpeg (34.13 KB, 256x308, A6CF7515-B579-4DF0-A699-0398C5…)

I want to quit my current job but I’m not sure if I should apply to places that I’m not experienced with working in. I feel like I tend to “fantasize” about other types of careers without knowing if I would actually enjoy the work or not.

No. 509803

if you decide to move on, you might as well apply to places you'd like to try out. the worst that can happen is that you don't get hired. should probably not quit before you have something else lined up lol

No. 509808

Not having social media is a good sign, imo. It means he's likely not vain. Instagram is the worst social media app to me. It's full of fake, vain people who only want their shooped selfies to be worshipped. Don't give into peer pressure, anon!

No. 509809

Ahh anon, I'm so sorry. I know it's hard. But please don't be hard on yourself! Just tell him random thoughts that pop up in your head, or a cool thing you saw. Try to get into his hobbies, mainly? Maybe you two just aren't that compatible, but there's nothing wrong with the person you are now.

No. 509810

My dog I've had for almost eighteen years passed away and now my house feels so empty. I work retail at a pet store. I really don't want to call out of work because the manager will get annoyed, but I also don't want to break into tears when I see anyone's dog.

No. 509817

that's like losing a family member. A pet store owner of all people ought to understand that

No. 509818

I am so sorry for your loss anon, it'll feel weird for a while and you have all the right to feel sad and mourn. As the anon above said, i'm willing to bet the owner would understand? Hugs, anon.

No. 509821

I wish I could just do this friend and myself a huge fucking favor and just friendship break up with them but they basically threw a huge shitfit when another friend did the same thing. I’d just let our friendship fade into obscurity but it feels like she has such an iron grip on me. Don’t talk to her for too long? She wants to have a talk because she gets anxious and needs reassurance that she hasn’t done anything wrong. Tell her you want space because things have changed in your life and you don’t have the time or energy to devote hours to chatting to friends constantly? Well she needs to have friendships where they’re in constant contact- otherwise how will they know they’re friends? Friends talk! ALL THE TIME.

No. 509825

You’re right. I wound up making a fresh resume and applied for the position.

No. 509826

they sound really insecure and insufferable. friendship shouldnt be an emotional burden. do what you need to keep yourself feeling good.

awesome!!! hoping the best for you! you never know what can happen

No. 509829

Let her have her shitfit then, if you aren't able to let the relationship die naturally. If there's no way to let her know she needs to chill out then do what you need to.

No. 509834

Why the fuck am I banned from 4chan for "Proxy/VPN" when I never used them and I didn't post on that site for like 2 months?? I instantly got banned?! Sure, 4chan is a shitty site but I want to know why I got banned. Is it because I wrote cumbrain?

No. 509838

I feel really upset because someone told me in a concerned way my relationship is really problematic. My boyfriend is 7 years older than me but like, I'm an adult, I know what I'm doing, it'd be way creepy if I was a minor or even like, freshly 18??
I'm also a sexual abuse victim who WAS used by disgusting men (and an ex-escort when I was much, much younger) so I KNOW the warning flags of this stuff. I'm the only girlfriend he's ever had that was younger, he doesn't fetishize my age or the idea of having a girlfriend younger..

It just makes me uncomfortable to think that this is abusive when I'm an abuse victim.. he helps me so much and like, we're both adults.

No. 509846

Am I understanding correctly that the only thing your friend sees as a red flag is the age gap? She didn't name any instance that happened or a detail more specific to have made her reach that conclusion?

THEN AGAIN, it does depend on what your age and maturity difference actually is. Like if there's some kind of imbalance of power. There might be something blatantly inequal about your relationship that other people are taking notice to.
But I can't tell you what that might be because there's not enough info to judge except that you used to be a sex worker and have a history of abusive relationships.

No. 509850

I think I lost one of my close friends.
The reason wasn't even something I was that mad about. They vanished for few weeks to get a break from social media and I felt hurt they didn't even warn me beforehand. Like, I realized because they wouldn't respond to my messages. It bothered me a bit because how hard was it to just say hey, I'm going to be away for a while? It made me feel really insignificant. And I don't think you can just arbitrary decide you're taking a break from a (close) friendship and not talk to a person for as long as you fancy. At least you can't do it and expect the friendship to be the same afterwards…
After few weeks they're back and… still they don't explain themselves. But what got me worked up was, when I didn't respond for one evening they acted offended that I'm not replying. It was really crazy for me that they expected they can be gone without a word of explanation for days and then be mad at me for not replying instantly. This set me off a bit. We argued, long story short they put the blame on me, because apparently the "vanishing" person shouldn't contact people, people should contact the vanishing one because what if the person was about to kill themselves? So I'm a bitch for not calling them and just assuming (rightly so) that it's a sm break. But - they didn't call me too, right? I could have fucking killed myself too, maybe. It's a fucked up argument imo.

We're not talking, it's been a month. What a crazy situation, it escalated but I don't think I should surrender. They said something really unnecessary and hurtful in their defense, besides I feel like I gave up too often to just release the tension and make up, and it's time to be assertive. For self-respect. I just wanted for them to admit that was shitty. Now I probably have one close friend less, and gods know I don't have many. It feels so surreal.

No. 509851

the sun is shining SO bright for the first time in months and I have to spend all day inside working REEEEE

No. 509855

I had a short visit to see my bf and during sex my nose started bleeding from both nostrils so we had to stop

Now I have to wait two weeks before we get to do it again cause LDR

No. 509857

Summer of 2017 my boyfriend at the time kicked my face in and I had two swollen eyes and my nose fucked. I can see my nose is off and I'm wondering if it was actually fractured. My bf at the time wouldn't let me go to a doctor so I've never had it looked at. I'm wondering if it's also impacted how I breath through my nose. Think I might go to a doctor.

No. 509879

It's Kaito! The version he drew was from an Alice Human Sacrifice PV, we were both into weird InSaNe shit as weeby misfits (I understand why he chose that blond doctor character now). I used it as a way to cope with my mental illness problems and I think he must've been the same way.
Oh yeah there was a ton of catfishing. There was also drama with staff banning RP or just keeping it to private, I bet it only shielded creeps who invited obvious teens to their green private boards.

No. 509884

An anon in your area may have got you banned by proximity, if that makes sense?
My friend used to get banned because some furry shared the same network provider as him, so the banning process just banned em both or something
I'm not sure exactly how it works

No. 509885

Please go to a doctor and murder ur ex thank u

No. 509886

I'm a Rinfag, Kaito is a good choice !

No. 509889

I kept badgering my partner when she wanted to meet this week and apparently her friend was texting for her since she's driving so now her friend(s) know how annoying I am. Great.

No. 509891

There's this girl that I really like but when we talk I feel like we run out of things to say because we don't have similar hobbies anymore. Apart from the occasional gossip, makeup talk, 'how are you?' 'tell me about your day!' etc idk what to talk to her about. I think this is a problem that is quite unique to online friends, but maybe that's just me. I feel like I can be myself around her but I'm not really sure how to have a conversation with her.

No. 509896

It's 100% possible to live without Facebook, you said yourself that you hate it and it sure sounds like it makes you miserable. I try to stay away from Facebook completely but I have to use Messenger which makes me feel dirty lmao Keeping a journal is a very good idea, they say the process of physically writing something helps you retain the memory and I don't have to worry about my data being hacked or leaked anywhere because it's in a book right next to me.
Keeping FB is definitely a net negative if it means you can't even be bothered remembering people's details, no offence.

I'd like to know how the guy you're dating deals with his lack of social media when it comes to jobs. I don't know how much employers care as a whole but heard there are definitely some positions out there where PR or whatever will find it suspic if they can't find anything online to your name and will pass you up in favour of someone they can find information on.

No. 509901

Being a lesbian with AVPD is worst combo. Also I'm horny.

No. 509906

File: 1580688996401.jpg (10.65 KB, 182x268, MV5BMTg3NzcyNjE2M15BMl5BanBnXk…)

The same thing once happened to me, anon. Don't worry too much about it. It's likely an ISP error (or an error with someone else using a VPN/proxy) and will be fixed or alleviated relatively quickly, as shitty as it is to encounter.

Once, after I'd been posting on 4chan like normal for days, I tried to post one morning only to find I'd received a ban from all boards for "ban evasion" - yet I'd never had a prior ban that I could have evaded, and the date the ban was filed (nearly a month before this day) was during a month when I didn't post on 4chan at all. The ban claimed to be filed over a post on /ck/ that wasn't mine, as I've never posted on /ck/ in my life. I explained what'd happened in an appeal (that the poster who was initially banned couldn't be me as I'd posted for days with no trouble) and after 3 days it was read and denied, leaving me still banned. The day after, I went back on 4chan to test it out and could post just fine, with no ban in sight, even though the ban was supposed to last another month. I've never used a VPN/proxy when there and I lived alone when this happened, so there's no way someone else could've posted using a device or network of mine. Sadly, I can't really offer a solution except to just try writing an appeal or waiting it out (but do occasionally check to see if the ban magically disappeared like mine.)

In my case specifically, it's probably an ISP issue, because I use dish satellite internet with my network provided by a local company and a similar thing happened to me here on lolcow a few months ago. I'd been posting like usual for months, tried to post one morning, and was redirected to a ban page for a post made in 2018 about a cow whose threads I've never posted in (PlasticandProud - back when she was still called ScorpioAssHoe, for time reference). I wasn't even aware of this site at the time that post was made or when the ban was filed. Of course, it had long expired, so I just clicked the confirmation and was led back to the site. Nothing like that's happened to me since on either site, but I know my IP address is the same, because I've recently received short bans for posts I actually did make.

I apologize for the royal blogpost, I'm just glad to see someone else who ran into a similar problem. I still wonder what causes it to happen, though. As >>509884 said, it could be a "ban by proximity" (AKA someone on the same network as you was banned) situation, but I don't know if that can happen and if it can, I don't know how it works. I did write an appeal for that ban here even though it'd expired at that point, but never received a response, so I'm clueless.

No. 509908

Random but I like rambley people like this anon and idk why

No. 509912

Not trusting a guy for not having social media is funny since like 100% of modern cheating goes on on social media and "my partner keeps looking at/chatting to other people on social media" is like the #1 thing people are insecure about in a modern relationship.

No. 509913

Thank you, anon. I get really sweet vibes from that post. Camaraderie.

No. 509922

I can't sleep comfortably in any position but the foetal position and it annoys me aaahh
I'm trying to train myself to sleep on my back because it's best for your skin but it's awfully uncomfortable.

No. 509923

My ex bf didn't need social media to cheat since I found out he was wing man for his mate a lot and thst involved him having to take one for the time and get off with the friends of the women the mate was into. When he had fb he was more accountable since people could tag him in photos and in general people talk more idk, when my ex deleted his fb he stopped even updating me about his life lol. I think the issue is men.

No. 509924

I have/had(?) the same issue, I now sometimes grab my pillow and rotate it vertically and lay on it if it makes sense, maybe that'll help? Goodluck anon!

No. 509932

Facebook is a weird throwback site which I hate using (I log on only once or twice a year) but those things you like about it you can definitely replicate on Instagram, Twitter, even Tumblr or just simply having a group chat with your friends on a messaging service.

No. 509934

That seems like a privacy invasion to get the friend to reply without telling you about it. You could have said anything.

No. 509939


Your provider reuses IP addresses, so when you were banned it was due to your current IP address being used by someone else at a past date. It's happened to me a few times on lolcow. When you got the ban notice for your own posts it just meant you were still using the IP you used when you made those posts.
Your IP changes every time you reset the connection.

No. 509940

Yeah. She was very concerned over our age difference and said he's a predator for dating someone so young like me. Our age difference is 21 and 27.. I get where they're coming from but like, I KNOW what I'm doing unlike the last times, I know how to watch for that type of behavior.. It's just really upsetting for someone to say a relationship that has helped me so much be equated to the abuse I've gone through.

No. 509943

What? I understand she's being protective but she's overreacting lol, that's nothing and it's perfectly healthy. She'll probably have a heart attack once she finds out Leonardo DiCaprio's age gap with his current gf.

No. 509944

Thanks for that explanation. I had no idea IPs could be reused, that makes a lot of sense. I'd thought that IPs change when the connection's reset but I've reset my router before and (if I recall correctly) still had the same IP when the internet reconnected, unless I'm misunderstanding how it works? (Sorry for being technologically illiterate.)

No. 509951

If you post from mobile data, you'll run into this way more often. I've gotten ban reports from Mickey Deer WKs and spergs because she lives in proximity.

No. 509952

I really care about my boyfriend and I don’t wanna lose him from my life but I hate having a boyfriend

No. 509954


Oh my god same, I'm independent he's codependent, we get along like a house on fire but he needs too much from me.

No. 509956

This reminds me of when I tried to post to /cgl/ using the wifi in my boyfriend's shared apartment but I was taken to a ban page that mentioned underage nudes or something scary like that. I immediately believed it wasn't my boyfriend, but for the rest of his time there we were uncomfortable that one of his housemates was a pedophile especially because he lived with two normie girls and one guy that was obsessed with technology.
The truth is that I don't understand how IPs work so maybe I caused him to distance himself from that guy for no reason, we'll never know

No. 509965

I'm in a Journalism program. Unfortunately, nearly all of my colleagues act like fucking Idiots. Personally, I think they either just like the creating drama, or they're actually brain-dead stupid. Probably a mix of the two.

No. 509966

I'm glad I finally have an explanation for when I was on my phone about a year ago and tried to reply to a thread and got an error that showed a five paragraph post about how it's wrong to be mean to other people on the internet that I was sure was not mine.

No. 509994

So tired of finding degenerates on youtube etc and every single time learning they are Swedish.

No. 510001

My left toe has been numb since 2017 triggered from a pair of shoes I wore all day/night walking at a festival and I lost feeling in my right toe awhile a go. I have bad callouses on the pointy side part of both my big toes and my feet always just hurt in general. I HATE that numb feeling when I touch either of my toes. It's freaks me out so I avoid it at all costs. I don't know what a foot doctor can even do to fix this.

No. 510029

I would've worried about it being the bf just covering for himself, like "oh yeah actually my roommate is weird and creepy now that I think about it"

No. 510037

I am so angry (mostly sad) at my friends! I had maximum score at my college exams wich is a big deal for me because I'm combining a fulltime job with my studies and they dont seem to give a fuck!! I mentioned it twice in a conversion now and they just ignore it. I'm so upset at them!

No. 510039

My girlfriend is the most aloof, distanced, emotionally unavailable person in the world. I need to get out!

No. 510042

Dont fuck over all your nights of sleep for your skin??? wtf is wrong with you?

No. 510050

I keep seeing this girl around college that I had a small falling out with and it's awkward every time. She's fine to my friends but to me she always acted very odd and I have no idea why? She reported me to the college (yep) for 'inappropriate language' and I think it's because I jokingly said retard one time. She also kept on swapping between being bi and lesbian, and I know that sexuality is sometimes confusing but in her case it was just attention seeking. Randomly talking about her grandpa's death in class, screaming at someone if they told her to calm down, etc. I hate having to interact with these people.

No. 510055

My housemate/live in landlord is throwing me out like a piece of fucking trash just because I don't like to socialise very much, even though I've done so much caring for his dog including cleaning up its shit and vomit when it got ill, taking it to the vet, feeding, walking, dealing with its stubborn and aggressive behaviour when I first moved in, etc. Also doing the shit jobs he asked me to do, like weeding the garden, which took me hours, hurt my back and I said I didn't even care about the weeds or think they where bad. Also another housemate left a shit load of meat in the fridge, big pieces of it, and I got back from holiday the whole house smelling like a fucking corpse, the blood had leaked all over the fridge and I spent hours cleaning it up. Also when I had to clean all of the maggots out of the food waste bin at the height of summer, also cleaning the rancid mood out of the shower, cleaning up other people's shit stains on the toilet so he doesn't blame me for it, clea into after other people all the fucking time because he blames me for absolutely everything. I left s pan in the sink once because I had to run out quickly and everyone else just dumped their shit in after me, and he fucking blamed me even though there's an empty dishwasher right there!

The final straw was seeing him advertising my room on spare room and basically slagging me off, saying "I don't want an untidy heathen, if you like to dwell in your room alone this is not the place for you" and also specified that he wants a dog lover because the stupid cunt can't look after his own dog because he works 8 hrs a day and then goes on constant tinder dates because he's a pathetic lonely Incel.

I want to get revenge by moving the floorboards out of the way and leaving shit loads of rotten meat and tinned fish and stuff that will just absolutely stink the house out, and he won't even know where it's coming from. I think it would be even funnier seeing as he's a vegan.

No. 510058

Is it that they don't give a fuck or they can't be happy for you because they're jealous? Either way, shitty of them. I'm happy for you, anon. Well done!

No. 510059

>meet cute guy
>start dating
>find out he's having an affair with me
>tell his gf
>two months later find out i'm pregnant
>tfw he's trying to get a restraining order on me to conceal this info

wtf do i do?

No. 510060

youve already done everything you can, you don’t want a man like that to help you raise a child if you are keeping it. Sorry anon. Are you sure it is his?

No. 510061

i'm 100% sure. he's the only person i had sex with in the past year. i have to go to a court hearing next week and i'm going to make sure he knows. i'm just really angry about the entire situation.

No. 510063

The petty route is always the most tempting. Maybe something less insufferable and more annoying like swap salt with sugar (or combine).

No. 510064

How do you fuck up this badly

No. 510066

which part?

No. 510068

I know it's been said since the beginning of time but GOSH I hate being a woman when it's that time of month. I hate having to be forced to work while my tummy hurts this badly and my whole body feels heavy and I keep having emotional meltdowns over nothing! I need a message. I wish I could bring my cat to work and have him sit on my lap.

No. 510070

All the men "waaahing" about the amber heard/johnny depp situation, thinking people aren't taking it seriously and are supporting amber because she's a woman. WHERE? everyone is literally against Amber and supporting Johnny but you see men online whinging saying "If the genders were reversed everyone would care!!". Everyone DOES seem to care! they want her fired from Aquaman and this narrative they're pushing of "people don't care when men get abused" is ridiculous because it's just not happening, people care, especially more than when women are abused.

No. 510073

The thing is I want to make the house dirty and unclean and smelly, because I was constantly accused of it even though I clean up other people’s messes daily, including one tenant who’s dad is some sort of butcher and he gets huge chunks of meat going off in the fridge regularly. This tenant also leaves spliff and roach ends all over the garden that I have to pick up after receiving a passive aggressive WhatsApp message, about how I’m “ruining it for everyone” just because I also smoke. I have spent a good portion of my time here trying to avoid his scorn to no avail. I’d do the gross, smelly, disgusting things nobody else wanted to do. He loved to blame me because I’m an easy target, because I’m in early 20s and they’re all early 30s, and because they where friends beforehand, because they will tell him to shut the fuck up. so the other two will have plates everywhere and leave their pots and pans in the sink, dirt on the counters etc. he will send me a passive aggressive message on WhatsApp complete with a photo of the sink, I’ll tell him that’s not even my shit, he will say “if you see dirty dishes you should automatically put them in the dishwasher”

Other things like deliberately humiliating me, knocking on my door one evening, sitting on my bed, sighing deeply, then going into one about all the shit stains left in the toilets, I’m like “why do you assume it’s me? I always clean away shit stains if I leave them, I’m the main person who purchases cleaning products” he’s like “I’ve spoken to (the other two tenants) so they already know” he’s fucking been picking on me and using me to clear up after everyone in the house because I’m a fucking pushover and he knows he can get away with it. I want to leave him with a filthy rancid smell that he can’t get rid of right away, I think that’s adequate revenge.

Also we had 2 fridges and he got rid of one and threw out loads of my food, now I can’t even cook and eat here because I can’t fit my food in the fridge, can’t meal prep, there’s no space for any of my stuff in the kitchen.
I also have severe depression and an eating disorder, so while he complained that I was “eating dinner alone in my room” I was actually not eating dinner at all because I felt like an outsider, felt unwanted, didn’t feel comfortable cooking in the kitchen because I’m basically a second class citizen to these people. I also got made redundant and had to get a new job, and he won’t even give me a chance to finish my work training, so I’ll have to borrow money from family who are not doing too well at the moment.

Another thing is he won’t let anyone wash or tumble dry clothes in the daytime and we can only do it between 12 - 6 am, so we set timers on the machine, but my room is too small to hang anything up, making doing my laundry AND cooking here extremely difficult. He wants a “new year, new me” but he doesn’t give a fucking shit about making my life incredibly difficult. I want to subject him to something gross, like he subjected me to many times.

No. 510074

i mean people are literally doing that on this site so it's probably happening elsewhere.

No. 510078

You do realize that everyone lives in their bubble and only see what the algorythms want them to see or what they chose themselves to see.

Neither your perception nor his is real life.

No. 510079

I think in addition you can load the washer with dish soap. That makes it so it just floods suds out into the room. Lowering the fridge temp to freezing is annoying if he wants to even cook let alone eat something straight out of there. The idea of putting an open can of tuna or something in a vent is nice but would require some stealth and tools. Seems like it'd be tougher to get away with. If you could hide the stuff under some places maybe I'd see it going off better but then they'd be easier to find. Just some considerations.

No. 510081

I was thinking of making a disgusting slop of eggs and meat and pouring it between the floorboards, don’t think I’ll even need tools. I’ve had to clean out rancid old lamb blood and mouldy, broken eggs, it’s not nice at all. It’s a viscerally terrifying smell.I’ve thought about making a flood but I don’t want anything to affect the dog, who will likely be home at the time, otherwise I’d just fill the whole house with bubbles and soap. Kek. Thanks for your advice anon.
Sorry to all about the wordy ramblings

No. 510091

Abort it fam, it's not worth having a connection with this utter dreg who thinks taking a girlfriend to court for a restraining order because he cheated is logical.
Don't have anything more to do with him.

No. 510093

I was supposed to go to a lecture today and it would have been the first lecture i've attended in weeks. I wanted to have a fresh start and hopefully figure out how I can catch up on all the work i missed out on and finally feel confident in my academic progress. But than it hit me. I looked at the pile of notes that i worked so hard on. I remember all the times i gave it my all to try and give my full attention and effort, to no avail. Nothing i ever do to try to be successful ever matters. There's no difference between me sitting in my room crying and starving myself for hours on end. My life is destined for failure and I am never going to get a degree. Switching from an english literature course to a computer science course just because i felt depressed and felt like i couldn't get work was one of the most life ruiningly horrible mistakes i have made in my life. I don't care about my future job prospects, i just hate that i have to face my parents to tell them i failed the year for the third time. I want to die so fucking bad and every horrible i feel about myself is rushing to my mind just because i'm too retarded to fucking learn java. If i stuck it out in the literature course, i would have finshed university 2 years ago, but no, i am trapped on a stupid computer science course i can't pass no matter what and i can't drop out because my parents are forcing me to get a degree that i can't get.

No. 510098

The last line: why are they forcing you? There are plenty of qualifications that aren't full degrees but will still help you get a job, plus people do get programming jobs based on at home study. What do you want to do?

No. 510100

File: 1580742904263.jpg (107.29 KB, 1273x922, daeeeugh.jpg)

>person I'm living with keeps buying chunk light tuna for their sandwiches instead of splurging for some solid white albacore and the shit is honestly repulsive af looks like shavings of tuna from the floor that someone threw in a can with water it's literally cat food and apparently that's no exaggeration

No. 510109

>The thing is I want to make the house dirty and unclean and smelly, because I was constantly accused of it even though I clean up other people’s messes daily.
You can take my perspective with a grain of salt, but I prefer not to give people justification to continue their victim complex against me.
Best believe anon, that those people are already aware that they are the true mess makers. Their whole scheme was to bully you into being the maid, and placing blame on you for their own shortcomings. In fact I'd wager they'd hope you slip up on your own accord or retaliate just so they could have the "proof" that you were the bad guy all along and this is the story they'll stick to when they whine to other people for sympathy.

Point being you might just wanna do some stuff that can't be traced back to you necessarily, not outright revenge stuff because then it will be obvious who did it. Things like >>510079 this anon mentioned because there's deniability. Like who's to say why the dishwasher is sudsing, or why the fridge is on the fritz and too cold? I'd go with shit like that just so it doesn't give power to their narrative against you. But that's just what I'd do.

No. 510113

How can I learn to accept and live with my past regrets? I don't know why but they've all come back to haunt me recently, nothing happened but my mind won't stop tormenting me with them. I'm unable to see anything good for myself or believe I deserve anything. The things I've done are actually very minor and normal so I know I'm blowing it hugely out of proportion too but it won't stop.

No. 510133

Agreed entirely with this post. I briefly lived in a few places where I was the thankless maid, they definitely are aware of who actually does all the cleaning and are just psychologically torturing anon by being gross messes themselves and then blaming her.

Absolutely agree that she shouldn't give them evidence for their lies about her. Lots of subtle sabotages like in Amelie, where she screws the doorknobs back on the wrong way around, change the clocks, put the fridge to the lowest temperature, etc would be good because they can't be traced to her and will still mess with their week.

No. 510141

https://www.reddit.com/r/baww/comments/1m7exu/dogs_never_die/ Anon, I hope this might help you.

Please take the time to mourn. Your manager should understand the impact that losing a pet has, but if they don't fuck them and fuck everyone who doesn't understand how soul crushing it can be. It really is no different than losing a human family member.

I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry for your loss. You gave your dog 18 years! 18 whole wonderful years. What an absolutely fantastic life journey it must have been. I don't know if heaven exists, but I sure as fuck hope it does for dogs. They are so wonderful and the incredibly short lives they live is so fucking unfair considering how much love and joy they bring into our terribly long lives. If doggy heaven exists, I bet your dog is running free and stuffing their face with no pain and no consequences as to what they want to eat. Imagine all the friends your dog must be making up there! Plenty of toys and food and friends to make the wait more bearable while they wait for you to join them. Fuck, I'm about to cry just typing this up.

I hope you'll take at least a day off. Please be kind to yourself.

No. 510144

I get what you're saying but like you said, they are bullies. Bullies don't back down when you cater to them, they back down when you stop taking their shit. Even if she leaves the house spotlessly they'll keep their narrative of her being the lazy sloppy housemate that leaves shit stains.

OP, you just need to make sure they won't find a way to retaliate against you even though they seem to be the lazy type of bullies that only attack when it's easy and convenient. For example, make sure you have taken all of your belongings out of the house and all of you papers are in order before going revenge.

No. 510148

There's a huge difference between doing your part yet setting little annoyance traps, versus "catering" to them anon.
Being outright vengeful is just gonna escalate their responses. You even admit they're gonna retaliate.

No. 510185

File: 1580759370803.gif (444.93 KB, 350x148, EA47F056-31FF-4544-9527-507093…)

Thank you anons. I’ve decided my meat paste idea is disproportionate and psychotic lol, I love the movie Amelie and I may take some inspiration from that or elsewhere. I agree about not giving them ammunition. I want to do something (if anything) that I can deny but also something that won’t make me look gross lmfao. I don’t know if I’ll go as far as having the key cut before I leave…maybe, who knows.

No. 510190

I just went for a walk and because of some bad timing it looked like I was going to get abducted. Some guy I didn’t recognize drove slowly past me and turned into a side road to drive by again. He pulled his truck over right where I was about to walk, but when he opened his truck door a guy came out of the building we were next to and they started talking. Another person driving a school car stopped on the road to watch us and waved to me once they realized there wasn’t anything bad happening. I’m glad they were there if things had gone bad.

No. 510202

File: 1580764103133.jpeg (131.56 KB, 858x981, F7078A30-D241-4C3F-B0C0-181A15…)

It’s entirely my own fault I know, but I’m stuck in a puddle of self pity. I moved from my hometown to take a high paying job in a highly desirable area and I really regret it. I just want to go back to my shitty hometown and be with my white trash friends again. I feel incredibly alone out here and I’m afraid at 29 it’s going to be hard to make new friends or find a relationship. I think I waited too long to get out.

No. 510207

Going to a concert with a friend this weekend and she wants to get dinner beforehand. I found a BUNCH of spots that aren't crazy expensive and sound good as fuck, but if she picks the fucking ramen spot out of all these good options I'm going to scream. I didn't want to include it but it's right next to one of the shops I do want to possibly eat at so I felt like there was no choice but to say it. Also she would've seen it if she decided to google up spots to eat in the area herself.

No. 510208

If it's not too gross I would collect the dog's feces/vomit and put it in a couple of believable places (under a rug, behind the couch, etc)

No. 510210

Not op, but I would fear them yelling/smacking the dog for doing business outside of the potty areas. They sound like huge assholes, would not put them above doing that.

No. 510211

>white trash friends
they're better off without you

No. 510215

You'll be okay, anon. It's easy to stay in your comfort zone but this move is probably better for you. It'll take some time but I'm sure once you establish a proper friend circle in your new city, you'll settle right in and it'll be like your second home.

No. 510242

File: 1580772775682.jpeg (145.44 KB, 644x450, E860E8D2-E2EB-4951-9BA9-DC9477…)

ALL men are the same. ALL of them. Not ONE is not a coomer. NOT ONE.

My ex best friend used to joke about having sex with my older brother all the time and it, obviously, made me uncomfortable. Today I joked about it with him and I thought he'd think it was gross too (how naive) but instead he said she could 'get it' and he wants her number… they're the same age so it isn't a big deal but it still feels terribly uncomfortable and I'm reminded once again to not put my brother on a pedestal above other men. She's supposed to be Muslim.

THEY ARE ALL COOMERS! I don't understand how anyone can want to fuck someone they're not emotionally connected to, but I guess most men disconnect sexually? It just makes me feel a little sad and a little dirty. He said he may just talk to her and I know he's joking about actually fucking her but gosh I'm still disturbed.

No. 510247

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and i am so worried and sure i have cervical cancer or something, i have always been suicidal and now that i am not, it'd be just my luck to get really sick. I am so fucking scared. I just wanna be ok. I wanna try even harder.

No. 510249

your female friend's the one who's the hypocrite lmao

No. 510256

Well I hope your friend seriously won't fuck your brother, not so sure about her "joking" now..

No. 510269

I’m white trash too, it’s a term of endearment with us. Maybe too white trash for my new city, in all honesty.

No. 510271

Thank you anon

No. 510273

Same anon. I basically did all of it myself, and I'm pissed. I genuinely do not understand why she would decide to take this course and another intense one at the same time. If this happens again (which I sincerely hope it doesn't, I hate confrontation), I'm just going to work by myself. If she can't prioritize this class then it's not my job to do the work for her. It will be awkward to see her in class though.

No. 510274

Have you consider the possibility either or both of them genuinely like the other and want more than just hooking up? Or have you asked and they rejected the idea?

No. 510290

I want the corona virus to wipe out anyone that tortures or eats live animals, I don't care if you die a slow death if you actually eat baby mice alive.

No. 510296

hard agree anon

No. 510303

I just didn't want to be alone today. Of all days, today was probably one of the hardest of the year and I just couldn’t…I couldn’t be alone again. Not on a day like this when memories of the worst that had happened in my life are stronger than ever, not when I can’t stop crying until I almost pass out, not today.
And he went and spent more than twelve hours missing, just hanging around with some friends and I know tomorrow I’ll be told I’m the crazy one but I’m not, I’m not. I just wish he could text me, just a little message to let me know he was fine, or asking me how I was, just something.
And now he’s home again and I’m wondering why I still love him after all these years, why I can’t get her back and not him, what would she tell me right now and I can’t breathe, it’s too much, because I have to see him and her picture behind him and it’s not fair, and my mind starts telling me this is what I deserve because I accepted him in the first place and I knew what was coming.
I’m sorry, I’m being confusing again…

No. 510311

my ex could've been so perfect if he wasn't so retarded and genuinely autistic. autists literally think he is autistic but he refuses to acknowledge that he's probably autistic and just says our serious communication problems are my fault. he also keeps telling me i'm sexist toward men. i guess i should be happy to have parted ways with his blinding autism.

No. 510313

I can’t remember the last time I like-liked someone seriously. I crushed a lot when I was 12/13ish on boys because it was fun, all my friends had crushes. Looking back, I view that time as more of a social ‘hobby’ I did to have something to talk about with my friends - I don’t remember ever really liking the boys or talking to them.
As high school went on I just never liked anyone, then I left, didn’t go to college, and now I’m 21 and haven’t had a relationship. I feel genuinely awkward around boys (men now?) ugh. I don’t know. Theres this horrible pressure in me that I should have had my first kiss by now, I should have had multiple partners or /at least/ a high school sweetheart that I had all my firsts with. But no ones has ever shown interest in me in that way and I’ve never felt that way inclined towards anyone. Like it’s shameful that I’ve not checked off those things in life that people expect you to have done by a certain age.
I can tell I’m getting to that point where I do long for a relationship though, but more just the intimacy. I’d love to hold hands with someone, hug, be close with, know little personal things about each other. Right now it feels like just a fantasy to be that exposed with another person. It’s ridiculous, I don’t even know what ‘type’ of person I like, but my brain is jumping to craving that long-term-committed-relationship level of affection. Ugh.

No. 510331

Go back to Reddit with your harsh moral judgements.

No. 510332

My fucking uterus decided to turn the cramping intensity to 11 three days into my period holy shittt!!! I'm so used to it being terrible the first two days so I'm caught off guard. Anxiety levels are through the roof!!

No. 510333

Whoever he is? He did you wrong and I’m sorry you have to deal with that.

No. 510338

I think I'm developing shitty disordered eating habits and I didn't notice. I feel too old for this. It didn't hit me until just now that no, I'm not gonna get up to a normal amount of calories before bed, I'm gonna go to sleep like that again. It's frustrating because I'm losing weight–why did I flip from one switch to the other that hard? I feel so shitty all the time, worse than I did when I was fatter. Headaches so bad I can't fall asleep or stand. My nutrition was shit before too though

I feel like I can hardly stomach anything anymore. I can really tell this is getting worse but I'm retarded and don't want to tell my therapist. She's already leaning torwards body positive stuff and I'm scared she'll say something that makes me okay with being a fat slob again

No. 510347

> Today I joked about it with him
> But then I took his response seriously

You just wanted to get mad, didnt you?

No. 510348

Your feelings are very valid. Many people in your situation would have the same. But remember: you don't HAVE to had your first kiss yet. Nobody HAS to do anything.

No. 510350

My coworker keeps talking about politics like fandom and constantly says she can’t stand Bernie stans. She doesn’t like him because he’s a white old man and she wants a strong woman to be president. This same coworker cried when Hillary lost because “it’s so sad our feminist grandma just wanted to win”.

I can’t believe people like this actually exist ihml if the majority of voters are brain dead like this, we deserve whatever fate we get

No. 510354

holy shit i'm in the exact same boat anon. it's come to the point where i get the urge to minimize my calories as much as possible even though i DON'T want to lose anymore - i was fine with my weight when i was 5 kgs heavier and i realize that i look ugly as fuck with my current weight. however i still have this irrational fear of gaining. i experience the insane headaches too. so far i have convinced myself to not skip breakfast so i hope i keep that up lmfao. but i'm currently on semestrial break and starting from next week i'll be back to uni and i'm going to be moving a lot more, so i really really need to get over this shit. wish you luck anon!

No. 510360

it's you, tam

No. 510363

> sexist toward men

Any man who complains about 'sexism towards men' is an instant nope

No. 510369

My flat is so cold that I can't bring myself to do anything. The heating has been on for three days solid, and it's not even been colder than 6 degrees Celsius outside, but I just can't seem to heat up. All I want to do is stay wrapped up in blankets with a hot water bottle, I can't get anything done and it's making me so depressed and useless.

No. 510370

Stop blaming the temperature for your own fuckups. Get up and get shit done, it's gonna warm you up.

No. 510373

File: 1580817313522.png (297.39 KB, 2515x1371, 0641ECCC-0161-4A18-8BE1-152663…)

It makes me irrationally angry when people on lolcow call other anons “femcel” as an insult unironically, anyone who thinks that’s not a shameful thing to do doesn’t belong here and should be eternally banished from the site like the worthless normies they are. Like so fucking what, I’m a depressed shut in, I’m not interested in having sex or making myself look attractive, i want to be left the fuck alone yet I have my opinions on my own life invalidated And get silenced just because I’m not being piped, as if it’s not the easiest thing in the fucking world to get some average Male to be a fuck buddy. The only girls in this site that think that’s an insult are just ascended femcels themselves, who have to actually try when they want cock (ugly) therefore think it’s an achievement. applies tenfold for “terf” or any other social justice newspeak dogwhistles. They’re like PULL users, aka fine with abuse, nitpicking, jealousy and bullying as long as nobody says a no no word. Also I hate how judgemental people are, like if you exibit any behaviour that isn’t that of a cloyingly phoney weeb trying to get Male attention on Reddit then you’re a bitch, a psycho or an evil person. So what, it’s funny to be a fucking bitter cunt sometimes, it’s funny to be contrary and haughty and pissed off, sometimes it’s cathartic to rant and to vent, these people have no idea how nice we are in real life to the people around us, they just think this is our personality 24/7 just because they spend their entire lives on the internet. The worst is when they do it in the unpopular opinion or vent threads, that deserves a severe gulagging.

No. 510375

>this post
The hypocrisy…

No. 510376

Of course I’m always the one feeling guilty for everything, as usual.

No. 510378

What about it is hypocrisy? I’m just saying it annoys me irrationally. They make it like some sort of popularity contest when it’s an anon image board famous for its feminine brand of autism. Nobody cares how pretty and sexually experienced you are, some of us are, some of us are not, it doesn’t make any of us more or less valid. Only when people act like fucking retarded Reddit/tumblr normies.

No. 510379

I hate how self absorbed I am. Fuck depression seriously…

No. 510382

how the fuck do i ward away these awful feelings that tell me im a tranny
i have such terrible fucking dysphoria and i keep trying to move on and live my life as a woman and be proud and i look at terf stuff all the time to remind myself im not a man but no matter how hard i try i feel like id be so much happier if i could be one and just accepted it and tried to live as a man
i hate myself and when i look in the mirror i dont recognize myself and it feels like the emotional equivalent of getting hit on the head with a baseball bat it surprises me and confuses me
i hate myself so much and have tried to plow through it i dont want to be a disgusting tranny i dont want to be a gender traitor i hate this i want to die so fucking badly i would rather die than live how im living now and id def rather die than live as a fucking tranny

No. 510383

You seriously think the majority of deaths ate baby mice alive? Fuck off

No. 510384

same here, i work retail which is supposed to be easy but i tend to forget things that arent right in front of me such as customers or shelf stacking lol. other routine tasks that i have to manage myself need to be written down or i will forget it and try to do it all last minute before my boss comes over.

No. 510385

i’m not saying you are trans but if you are would you rather hate yourself and be suicidal because you don’t want to go against terfs of all people or actually be yourself and be happy, there are way better resources for you if you’re questioning your gender than lolcow or whatever hating ass shit any terf has to say, at the end of the day how /you/ feel about yourself is the most important don’t hold so much weight on to the opinions of people on the internet, i hope you figure out everything soon and become a happier person

No. 510392

She says he's mean, he says she's dumb. He's v against Islam and they argued a lot so… I doubt it

No. 510393

Isn't the world a dark one when you realize that there are women who will make a lot of lives and they don't even know who the father of their children are. I had this high school bully, she would lowkey sexually molest me (it's not really that I hate to say it like that, but it's still too embarrassing for me to describe what she used to do regularly to me) and I stopped being bitter when I found out she has 3 children. 1 is a rape baby but literally (I don't know why she didn't abort the baby back then but I remember she sperged to me when I suggested this even though she asked me for advice out of all people, a girl she heavily bullied), the other one is a bastard baby (ok sorry for saying bastard baby, should have said baby whose father is as of now uncertain) and the third one is from the rapist father. All young kids, I pity them and wish them luck. Last time I talked to her was years ago btw, so don't think I still mingle with toxic people.

No. 510394

You sound toxic yourself

No. 510395

Being a tranny won't make you love yourself anymore. This is a deep rooted insecurity problem that I don't think is because of your sex. I can't offer you advice unfortunately… maybe try therapy? Watch videos of people who detransitioned and why they did so?

No. 510398

Gender isn’t a solid one thing, it’s a social construct. Don’t hate yourself anon, there’s enough people in the world who will do it for you. Dress however the fuck you want, it’s not a single damn souls business. Being a woman doesn’t have to mean pink shit and makeup same as being a man doesn’t have to mean mud and flannel. Do whatever makes you happy and comfortable, secure. Your happiness and comfort should be the only thing that matters to you. As long as you not hurting woman for being woman, you aren’t doing anything wrong to other humans. We’re just weird aliens after all, we’re all going to die, wear those dang clothes that make you feel good!

No. 510400

Oh yeah misophonia is a real cunt, and no one takes it seriously. I luckily only have loud chewing and snoring as my triggers but i swear i have ruined so many family vacations since i had to share a hotel room with my family and my dad snores like a fucking lawnmower which made me have a mental breakdown and cry myself to sleep in the bathtub every time, which turned me into a super bitch the day after because, well, no sleep. Havent gone on vacation with them since i was 14 i think. I'm moving out soon but i still have to wear earplugs with music or LOUD white noise if i go to bed later than my parents because we share a wall and even the faintest sound of snoring keeps me up and im unable to focus on anything else and i turn into a ragebeast. Weirdly enough i dont have a problem with my bf snoring but he isnt nearly as bad and as you said, i think people with misophonia feel extra angry at family members.

No. 510404

High school bullyesse? Is that you? Damn I guess I was describing you a tad bit too obvious, my apologies. Stay away from me and my body though pls you still give me nightmares.

Why do a lot of people here have anger issues btw?

No. 510405

i learned to sleep on my back but it just gave me sleep paralysis and nightmares so fuck my skin im back on the side

No. 510406

Where tf do you see any talk about clothes in og anon's post? Pretty sure feeling dysphoric means self hatred about ones body/genitals

No. 510407

My boyfriend is the only person I socialize with and I can’t drive and don’t have a job and it sucks cause I struggle making friends online cause I don’t really have anything to talk about beyond anime/the games he’s into. I guess I’m just lucky he’s a good supportive person and not abusive cause he could probably get away with it if he wanted to. No real point to this I just hate how my life has turned out.

No. 510408

Kek, great reply.

Gotta love how fast people in here attack people who show open resentment to their sexual abusers and harassers. Idk what do they expect tbh for us to talk about them all nicey and shit? It's difficult to forgive and talk nice of someone who gave you a goddamn trauma even if it's something that happened in high school. Such a lack of empathy from their part.

No. 510415

Why do you assume they can’t find happiness as their own gender? You basically framed it as “die as a woman or be happy as a man” when anyone with half a brain knows it’s not that simple. Transitioning is a very scary, painful, risky and expensive progress that can cause a lot more dysphoria, infection and disfigurement on the way not to mention infertility and hormones that fuck with your head and that you have to be on for the rest of your life. Why don’t you go back to twitter and indoctrinate vulnerable people there?

No. 510418

This is what I meant about lc turning into Reddit. So many self unaware pricks who think they’re better than everyone else just because they’re too pussy to show their true emotions on an anon board.

No. 510419

It’s only like that because we make people dress due to their genitalia, if we didn’t do that their wouldn’t be trans people. We’d all just be wearing dresses and not caring about our dicks or vaginas. Really though, transitioning seems to come from the idea that your outward appearance needs to match your genitals, so if anon just dresses how they want and stop forcing some construct of what a woman should be maybe those feelings might go away.

No. 510421

Trannyanon would rather see the poor person reduced to genitals that don’t even work properly kek.
Nobody has to be feminine just because they’re a female.

No. 510422

File: 1580829208232.png (1.53 MB, 1184x1138, 1579056600745.png)

had a dream that an old friend messaged me apologizing for what happened between us and wanting to make amends and be friends again. irl me is over it but dream me is clearly still hanging on, at least a little bit.

No. 510427

I'm that anon and I have no idea what you are talking about

No. 510429

that was literally me up until recently. i spent 11 years with someone who was okay with me just coasting by and never improving. i finally got a job and tried to put myself out there and now im out of a shit relationship, making money and actually having some amount of fun.

please dont stifle your personality and dreams for someone. its so very lonely

No. 510435

Dreams like that are the worst. I hate when they seem so scarily real and make you feel happy but when you wake up, it all disappears.

No. 510437

I’m happy you got out and are enjoying your life anon. It isn’t a bad relationship and I think if I wasn’t with him I’d probably still be unaccomplished and unmotivated and suicidal but living at home burdening my mom instead. So it’s not like a bad relationship holding me back more like he takes care of me so I keep going even though I wish I was dead.

No. 510447

exactly… in my dream i was practically happy-crying, the apology meant so much and i genuinely missed them and was glad to hear from them.

it's a shitty way to wake up

No. 510451

Someone in my family that’s fitness-obsessed has become more and more right wing as they get deeper and deeper into it. She’s always saying the whole “anyone who isn’t fit af is stupid and lazy and doesn’t work hard”, like her ideas about health correlating to morality are the exact same as her ideas about wealth and morality. It’s fucking nuts. It makes me sad cause I love her, dammit.

No. 510456

Narcissists often have trouble with empathy. Sounds like she's trying to see moral failings in others so she doesn't have to deal with her emotions of disgust and anger she has towards strangers that cannot truly be justified. She's not defective, they are! Sounds like the alt-right, doesn't it?

No. 510462

File: 1580834290615.jpeg (163.88 KB, 1660x2048, AF634F16-4C64-4C50-9BFC-9BC4DF…)

My cat is 14 this year, and I know it's morbid to think about but I'm going to miss him so much when he passes away. After I finish college I'm planning on moving countries and I don't want to take him with me because I think it's slightly selfish and it doesn't seem to be the best idea to move an elderly cat. He means so much to me, he's so comforting.

No. 510464

Looks like she's projecting her morals on everyone else. Very self-centered.

No. 510468

You can still present GNC and male-like as much as you want if it alleviates your pain anon. At the end of the day I know that you know that no matter how much you go full tranny and butcher yourself, you still won’t be a man. All these feelings still remain, trannies themselves admit to this. It sucks and it’s painful but the best we can all do is cope, preferably in ways that are the least damaging to your health. Perhaps seek an uncucked therapist?

No. 510477

I've had mental health issues for over 10 years now and about a year ago got caught up in another severe depressive episode. I tried getting help and got some for 3 months before they stopped all therapy sessions and treatments because they told me I was already fine because I was smiling, even though I was begging them to let me continue to have treatment. I've been alone with my problems for half a year now and I want to die every minute of the day. I feel like no one will take me seriously so idk if it's even worth reaching out for help anymore. Too tired to actually kms though, so that's kind of good maybe?

>smiling thru the pain

No. 510496

File: 1580841438156.gif (2.54 MB, 330x190, 8D893F1D-C06F-4CFF-A281-550173…)

I’m so sorry anon I wish I could give you advice but I’m going through basically the same shit for 10+ yrs and it’s so hard to get treatment. I hope you are loved and cared for by people irl cos you deserve it.

No. 510500

File: 1580843354591.jpeg (96.39 KB, 842x595, 3FA6256F-F4F5-48FC-BD3E-B0434D…)

Identify what it is you want that you think men have and you can’t have, maybe it’s more within your reach than you think? You can also be gender nonconforming without any chemical intervention. Work out, dress how you like, act how you like and butch it up if it’ll make you happy. But you might have clinical depression so definitely see a therapist if you can. I hope you find something that helps.

No. 510502

Your therapist was wrong, is there any possible way you can find a new one that takes your insurance?

No. 510507

this, if you body isn't how you like it, change it however you want in ways that aren't permanent. work out, cut your hair, wear masculine clothes - see if that alleviates anything. but i agree that it sounds like you need a therapist to help with depression. i a genderspecial last year and waffled between being non-binary and wanting to be a man, i hated my body and myself and it was easier to believe the problem was just my body but it was my brain. therapy helped immensely. i don't love my body by any means, but i no longer actively hate it. it feels like MY body, imperfections and all, on good and bad days. i hope you can find the same kind of peace, anon

No. 510510

If it's ok to ask, how does therapy work?

No. 510513

File: 1580845195783.png (96.76 KB, 680x415, 622.png)

Where did the pinkpill thread go? Honestly was the most uncucked place on this board.

No. 510517

Methinks admin deleted it, but not entirely sure why. It was a good thread.

No. 510520

well, personally, i did group therapy. my body issues weren't brought up since it'd be a little awkward in that setting, but it gave me a sense of belonging and taught me valuable coping skills. each person could talk a bit, and we'd do something like a worksheet, or a group exercise, all based on developing the skills you need to manage the emotions that brought you to group in the first place. so group made me feel stronger in general, which lead to me building up some self-esteem.

for more personal stuff, like my body issues, i saw a therapist one on one. i couldn't see her often so i stopped going tbh. group was more helpful than any personal therapy sessions i did, but i don't discourage anyone from trying. it could do more for you than it did for me, you know? but yeah, i'd come in, she'd ask how my week(s) were, and i'd bring up anything difficult that happened. if there wasn't anything, i'd talk about any other issue i'd been thinking about. or even just talk abot food things that happened. shortly before i stopped going, i ended up asking her for dbt type stuff since that's what helped me most, so she started giving me worksheets. that's just me though, as i'm fairly introspective and get the same out of one-on-one talk therapy as i do from journaling. try out different things though, for example i thought i would hate group therapy but it was the best things i'd ever done for myself.

No. 510522

It’s locked right now

No. 510523

I used to work in an adult store part-time and it was honestly the most fun job I've ever had. I've been missing it a lot lately and I've been thinking about calling and seeing if I can pick up a day or two a week just because it was something I enjoyed a loy., But every time I get ready to do it I stop and can't go through with it because there was this one girl who worked as an assistant manager who was nice to everyone else but for some reason just could not stand me. She was the only reason I ended up quitting in the first place.

I don't know what her problem was- I was good with customers and got along with everyone else. At first I assumed it was just her stern nature because she's a Ukrainian immigrant so I let it go until I realized it was a personal problem with me specifically. I tried to sort it out with her but she wasn't having any of it and its a small business so I was afraid of what might happen if I took it to one of the owners (since she was assistant manager and I was maybe one month in.)

I hate confrontation but now I realize that my at the time demure nature cost me a job I really liked doing, and would happily do on the side of whatever I have going on otherwise. I think about this bitch a lot and it makes me really angry that she just got away with being such an insufferable cunt. I've never had anything quite like that happen and I've been thinking about it a lot and it makes me want to do something about it but idk what.

No. 510524

She was jelly of u for whatever reason

No. 510525

Cute anon posting cute gif

No. 510534

Everything changed when the tranny jannies attacked

No. 510539

How can we get a new admin? Does the current one have to quit? Just curious.

No. 510540

I just have a lot of difficulty conveying my thinking into words and expressing my ideas and I also have a lot of trouble focusing on something or keeping a linear train of thought. My thinking always creates a lot of tangents, but my whole thinking processes seem unclear and my mind seems perpetually foggy.

Everything I read, everything I memorize and everything I think is very conceptual, I don't use words to think, just half sentences or words that don't even exist and my thoughts manifest so quickly that I cannot even grasp them. Also, they're mostly visual.

No. 510542

Nah, she just has to have a melt down

No. 510548

She was probably threatened by the fact that you were good at your job and enjoyed being there. Lots of people get real competitive when they get a tiny dose of power and then become overprotective of it when they think another person may put their authority at stake.

No. 510555

Music is getting shitter and if people think mumbling is now music then they need their heads testing

No. 510584

Listen to literally anything else but charts you pleb.

No. 510593

NTA but remember when you didnt need to dig deep into the crates into super obscure music to find some semi decent song? lmfao


No. 510614

What's wrong with you

No. 510633

I wish my mother loved me like she loves my younger sister - the golden child of the family

No. 510634

Chances are she doesn't love her either anon, or if you're like me: a me me me jelly child. Rarely have I seen an actual golden child unless they makes money or are genuinely talented, in that case you know what to do.

No. 510635

I hate how people make out that moving away and just finding a job and whatnot is so easy

It isn’t for some people like I’m close to my family, I work and pay bills. But I’m not in a relationship, very close to my fam and living in a flat just by myself feels pointless idk

No. 510639

File: 1580866225854.gif (312.25 KB, 500x375, fg0G77u1hf3wk.gif)

I wish I could go to the arcade with farmers and win shit from the claw machines for u and do karaoke and embarrass u with my attempts at Dance Revolution Arcade.

No. 510641

that pic is 100% not pinkpill though

No. 510646


No. 511259

Yeah, how is a shirt with "Daddy" written on it any way close to pinkpill? Fucking gross. Plus the whole cringy setup.

No. 511260

I almost went and vomited all of my issues onto my socials because I'm feeling so crappy, but I'm glad I didn't, because I am really trying to pull away from that kind of shit. I don't think it helps anything and I definitely don't want fucking weirdos and randos who follow me knowing what goes on in my life besides surface stuff.

My dad is MIA right now because apparently he got into a(NOTHER) fight with his wife who is a worthless cunt, but he is a piece of shit, too. His phone is off, nobody has seen or heard from him except her. I have wanted her to get the fuck out of our lives for a long time. He was doing just fine before she came along. He would tell me, "I'll never treat another woman like your mother again in my whole life. I have to live with that and it sucks. Your mom didn't deserve it." Then this bitch comes along with her alcoholism and drug use and her "I CAN FIX HIM REEE" shit and she has him fucked him and arguing with her constantly and getting him so fucked up he blacks out and hits her, and she calls the police to get him arrested and cries to us that he's so horrible to her, etc. FUCKING LEAVE. It's been over 5 years and you haven't figured out that you CANNOT FIX HIM. JUST LEAVE. He is abusive, he is a fucking abuser. But when he was single the only person around to get the brunt of it was me. And he would control himself because I'm his daughter. What the fuck makes your dumb ass think you can change him? he's a fucking narc and an addict. why would another addict be able to fix him…. some dumb backwards shit.

I hate them both, but tonight I have anxiety over not knowing where he is or if he's ok, and I want to know if he's going to just go back to their place and pretend like everything's fine until this happens again in a month, like clockwork. I'm just in a fucking rut right now. I know I'm having a codependent. It's hard not to sometimes because he raised me. Like, when you feel like you should help, but you KNOW for your own sanity and for your own family's sake you shouldn't.

No. 511262

Damn anon I feel you, I'm the same. Your post makes me kinda happy tbh. I often start sentences and don't finish them because while I have the idea and the image I don't have the words. It's like my visual thinking is a fast train while my verbal thinking is a slow car. I do use words and sentences in my thinking but they're more like half sentences completed by ideas made of images/sounds and even emotions.

No. 511273

Golden child doesn’t have any talents (that I know of) and she’s a productive member of society. She’s been golden for 23 years (24 this year) and most of the time has everything handed to her. Mother likes to call me her best friend but I see she puts more trust in her than she ever did me but I try not to let it get to me, have forgiven them both and am trying accept she’s the favorite in the family to completely move on.

I wish my youngest sister didn’t post the Spanish quinceñera meme, I didn’t want to relive that part of our lives.

I can’t believe I’m 28 and am still hurting over this

No. 511274

Also would like to add that I’m also a “me me me” child, but that was due to lack of attention while growing up. Like I said, I wanna move on and and leave said jealousy behind which I’m currently working on since and dispel my abandonment issues/separation anxiety. Lack of attention from your dear family really fucks you up in the long run, so I’ve learned.

No. 511275

i can’t understand why my mind decides to focus on all the good things people did for me instead of seeing how bad they treat me.
Why I keep crying because I miss them being nice and good with me instead of knowing I don’t deserve to be called crazy, that I’m crying because I’m hurting, not because I’m always crying and I’m distressing.
Every time something goes the wrong way, I’m the one left feeling guilty for things I didn’t do and even when I fully know it, when I completely know it, my body starts to feel this anxiety as if I did something terrible, as if I was the one messing up..

No. 511279

I wanna do that

No. 511281

Damn anon, you could be me.
From my experience, my sister has no life skills due to being coddled by my parents. She is more prominent to making financial mistakes without my parent's help. When she graduates college and begins to truly live on her own, there's going to be failure. I can definitely see her living back at home trying to find a well paying job, but still being kept down by my parents not letting her do something fully independently. I witnessed this first-hand, my mom who neglected me since my sister was born tried so hard to break me financially and mentally the moment I moved far away to be truly independent. She was so, so close to achieving that. Living off of $30 to your name for a few weeks isn't fun. This is definitely why my sister sucks up to my parents. As long as my parents get a benefit of my sister's educational successes, they'll continue to fund it. They're already starting to burden her with financial issues now that I'm out of the picture.
Before, I used to be burdened with everything. I decided not to continue a higher education because my parents kept guilting me for the littlest things, down to the classes I took even though financial aid covered them. It was a mental hell and I decided to get a job. Even then, a job was not enough. Every job I had, my mom said I should've found a better paying one. From that moment I knew I needed to leave as soon as possible or else I probably would've been worse mentally.
I can only hope my sister sees my narc mom and enabler dad for what they truly are. I truly wish her the best. I don't want her to end up just taking care of them when they get old.

No. 511287

my dudettes i am literally covered in hives rn
it's so sick
like literally sick
but also it's pretty lit because my my feels like its slowly inflaming

No. 511303

Everyone gets more attention than me

No. 511306

I live in Asia, and a lot of people have been getting the cold here (or maybe flu). I got a runny nose and dry throat (resulting in coughing) since yesterday, and earlier this afternoon I fucking got diarrhea.

If this isn't the virus I've been asking for, then god, why let me suffer.

No. 511307

I'm paying you attention right now and not replying to any other anon, so, hi

No. 511320

The people that I want to give me attention dont give me attention.

The people that I want to leave me alone give me lots of attention.

This is what my brain thinks. But I think the problem is that as soon as I get lots of attention I start not liking those people. And if someone only gives me attention a bit I start to crave it even more.

Do I have daddy issues???

No. 511323

So anything beyond charts is "dig deep"? Especially these days when "digging deep" just means searching some playlist on spotify?

No. 511324

Just cuz it's pointless for you doesn't mean it isn't easy (if you can afford it)

No. 511344

can sorta relate. i know my mom loves me and all that but the amount of coddling she does to my little brother is insane and it's only going to make his life harder later on when he has to become independent, so im not really jealous.

No. 511348

Holy shit I’m the same.

No. 511349

Have you all looked into ADHD?

No. 511350

I haven’t. Could that be it?

No. 511351

This can actually be true though and not something just in your head so no it's not daddy issues.
Furthermore if you're talking about men it's true that for a lot of them, if you treat them distant and cold they just seek to chase you more which explains orbiters.

No. 511353

File: 1580907680780.jpeg (280.2 KB, 1122x1496, EBE26F83-6FFB-4027-82B1-1FBC70…)

>obtain bf
>he wants to start going on dates
>going on dates means having to dress nice and not so casual
>have only ever worn tennis shoes and vans because I have big, flat feet thanks to my dad’s side of the family
>can’t wear cute shoes like flats, converse, etc. because it looks stupid
>don’t like wearing short sleeved shirts outside of home because of keratosis pilaris

I can’t wear cute outfits that I want because I’ll look like a fucking idiot and I don’t want to gross him out with my arms. This sucks, but it’s so funny to me. Anons, be happy you’re not me. In case anyone is wondering, I’m a size 11 in women’s and 5’7 or 170 cm.

No. 511355

im sure there are plenty of cute outfits that arent short-sleeved. i dont like short sleeves either because my arms are a bit chubby but that hasnt really been an issue fashion-wise. and why do you think flats and converse look stupid?

No. 511358

I love them actually, but I can’t wear them because they look too long on my feet and not flattering.

No. 511360

oh, well i dont think you need tiny feet for those shoes to look cute. i have big ones myself and have never really thought of it. i mean, you gotta wear shoes anyways and you cant change your foot size. wouldnt vans look just as stupid as converse according to your logic?

No. 511362

File: 1580908739956.jpg (480.58 KB, 1280x1701, 1573607127167.jpg)

Every weekday feels the same to me.
I wake up, struggle to go in to work that I'm usually late to, carry out repetitive tasks, go home when it's dark, overeat, consume media, and then sleep. I'd squeeze in exercise but most days I'm too tired and apathetic to care. I usually smoke some weed every night to numb my sadness and help me sleep.

Socially it's even worse. All my coworkers are older so it's hard to really relate to them. They seem to think good of me but nothing happens beyond polite small talk.
The only person I see and talk to everyday is my stepdad. My friends sometimes get ahold of me to do something on the weekend or plan an event for the upcoming month but there's really nothing in between. It makes me feel isolated and super depressed.
I put in some applications to do volunteer work just so I could have something to do and potentially meet new people. I tried following up but the organizers tell me they just haven't gotten to the applications, it's been a month and a half. Lol I could volunteer my time and literally no one wants me.

I suffer romantically. There's a guy I've been going on dates with for the past month but we haven't had the bf/gf talk yet. They are nice dates when we have them but they only happen on a weekend and usually just one. I feel we're good together in person but he's a bad communicator otherwise when we are apart. I want him to text me more. When we first started seeing each other he texted me somewhat consistently but now he will only text to schedule our date. I've tried to say how I like him and wanted him to text me more, but the way I approached it came off as passive aggressive cause I was upset at the time, so the texting issue never improved. I'd settle for a phone call. He claims he's busy at work, which is probably true because he works AI for the government. I wonder if his insomnia and adhd contributes to the issue? I can't tell if I'm being too clingy or needy over someone I've only known for a little over a month? I just know I feel like shit. Ah, well.

No. 511363

I suppose so.

No. 511364

Maybe try going on dates with different guys? Go on the friend finger thread on g?

No. 511372

Currently I'm on a dry spell when it comes to dates. I vet pretty hard these days cause I try not to waste my time with men when I know it won't work out. The problem is because I'm not super attractive I tend to get pretty low quality guys, so when a decent guy with good prospects comes along I gobble him up. It's harder for me to get someone cute, respectful, and my age. I recently blocked two others I was talking to, because I saw red flags. Maybe I'm just contributing to my own feelings of loneliness for not giving everyone a chance but by god I can't stand being burned for lowering my standards anymore.

Guess I could try making friends online again. What's the harm?
Thanks for reading my vent.

No. 511384

File: 1580912442453.jpeg (206.86 KB, 640x1024, 0A2F7BDA-DB5B-4C05-9127-9B3E73…)

Your bf obv likes how you look hence wanting to be seen out w/ you and in cute outfits. The shoe thing is tricky, I have extremely thin feet and struggle with comfortable shoes. If you really don’t like your arms there’s long sleeved or 3/4 dresses/tops, cardigans, shawls, jackets, blouses, blazers etc. Just wear something smart and matching, you don’t have to wear a racy instathotty outfit or anything. What about a dress kind of like pic related (colour doesn’t matter) with some pumps/court shoes?

No. 511390

Good luck anon! I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I wish I could give you more advice

No. 511393

I want to remodel my whole room. Our mattress is turning into shit and I bought it only a year ago. Should I just keep it simple and invest in a Japanese futon? We already only have the mattress and box spring, might as well go lower to the ground.

No. 511395

this looks like a very dated tablecloth. it's horrible.

No. 511402

I've always really wanted a nice Japanese futon because I love to sleep on the bare floor, but as I've gotten older, its definitely started to take its toll on my back. I really like the idea of being able to roll up my bed and put it away for more space too!

No. 511403

Oh wow thank you, sweet Anon. I’ll have to keep these in mind.

No. 511408

im assuming this is meant to portray an instagram normie stacy not a pinkpill

No. 511410

I had my mattress on the floor for about a year and preferred it at first but then winter came and even at 30 years old I found getting up out of it was a pain on cold days. That and I could smell something musty where there was no ventilation under the mattress. I eventually got a metal bed frame with wooden slats underneath for ventilation.

Mold is something to think about. Maybe japanese futons are less inclined to have those issues compared to mattresses though?

No. 511422

I think it’s cute as hell, but I did say the colour doesn’t matter. Just the shape hides the arms and creates a nice silhouette.

No. 511435

don't buy a futon they will get mold. you'll have to invest in a bunch of stuff to prevent it and even then you need to hang your futon often and pick it up every day. there's a reason most households don't use them anymore, they're a hassle.

No. 511446

I'm not even angry but confused so idk if it's even a vent but me and my friend took an introductory course together in a subject that i already had studied in high school and she hadn't.
She didn't understand shit in that class and even before class she'd ask me basic questions..well, results came back and she got a way higher grade than me, aaand same for finals.
I still am really perplexed cause she herself admitted that she didn't know shit and she can't explain her grade. It's so odd cause i would always explain to her the processes and stuff so i doubt she was just acting as if she was clueless.
My teacher was shit, if i may add and i never understood the way she was grading but it was still somewhat humiliating for me to do worse than her when i was the knowledgeable one who was helping her.

No. 511448

Perhaps she just grinded really hard at home to master the material and doesn't wanna admit to it or she really underestimates her understanding of the material?

No. 511452

some people are just better test takers. especially if the teacher's grading was strange, it may have been that your friend was better at answering how the teacher was expecting it and thus got higher marks, even if you've got better comprehension of the material.

No. 511460

They got hand sanitizer dispensers for my office and then put them… in the bathroom…??

Just seems kind of dumb to me. Why not spread them so each department's area has one, and then one in the kitchen? Why would I go to the bathroom and end up using hand sanitizer when I could just wash my hands since there's already soap and water in there? Another coworker said maybe it's there for you to use after washing your hands, but that seems stupid. I just washed my hands lol. Also saw someone come out of the stall and lightly rinse their hands with water for a second and then use hand sanitizer. WASH YOUR HANDS.

Another coworker who's a dumb paranoid bitch about everything keeps complaining about the coronavirus and how she's just going to wear a paper face mask as if it'll help. If you really want to wear a mask to avoid infection, get the proper surgical ones or a N95 mask! I saw a video too on the proper handling of masks (not touching the part that covers your face when removing, not tucking it under your chin temporarily, etc) and she's done everything she's NOT supposed to if she wanted to not risk getting sick.

Yes, I'm worried about possibly getting sick too but you know what? I just wash my hands, don't stick my fingers in my mouth/eyes/any other orifice if I haven't just washed them, and just continue about my fucking day. Bitch we're not going to die even if we did get infected, we're not 80 year olds with compromised immune systems.

I'm so sick of my office buying into the overblown media coverage of the virus.

No. 511556

The funny thing is my sister moved in with her abusive and controlling bf a few years ago but they still pay for her medical expenses. If she ever went to college they’ll probably pay for that too; everyone else, “go fuck yourselves”. However, because I live with them, I’m expected to pay the tab whenever we go out to eat and other necessities.

No. 511561

This may be a bit of a reach but sometimes professors grade on overall course progress. So if your friend started out like garbage but over time displayed a deeper and more exact understanding of the subject, that's something a professor might take notice of. Another anon said she might just be a better test taker and that's possible as well.

I found that sometimes professors were more harsh or expected greater things from students whom they knew had a better baseline of knowledge on the material.

No. 511607

File: 1580930149229.jpg (27.42 KB, 529x474, tumblr_pi7otmRnmO1vxm9ho_540.j…)

I just want to lose the 10kgs I gained last year so I can wear cute clothes again, why the hell is the process so slow?? I'm bordering on going full ana-chan to speed it up because I'm so disgusted with my body and hate how tight my clothes feel, what's the highest possible calorie deficit I can do without having my internal organs shut down

pic related it's me every day of my diet

No. 511662

One of my personal lolcows recently unfriended me on Facebook, I rarely post so I got confused. I can only assume she has some sort of warning if a mutual joins or likes certain groups/pages. She's an ultra SJW so I can only assume that's why.

No. 511669

I am disgusted, first of all. I broke up with a complete loser after a number of years. And yes, I am a fool for ever lowering my standards. Yet, this is the vent thread and not the self reflection thread so let me go on

I just got told, that my ex. Would visit brothels, got told the exact locations, times and who paid etc. and he would fuck trannies!!!!! Now I always suspected he was gay, or bicurious most definitely not straight, and I know to the younger dumb af generation being a they and gender confused and being a whore is totally empowering and in rn, but it fucking is gross as fuck. I don't give a fuck if this seems homophobic. I call men faggots that hate women and love men. Even if they aren't sticking their dicks in each other, if someone's a misogynist, they're a faggot to me. I think women should push for faggot meaning anyone who is anti woman, because that's what a lot of faggot behaviour is. They're either harming women or trying to exploit them or attempting to larp as one by perpetuating bitchy stereotypes and think sex dolls are the height of femininity.

Anyway. My ex boyfriend fucked multiple trannies. Not even that, but he paid for sex multiple times at brothels. I'm getting tested by the doctor. I broke up with him because he got back into his party drugs and cocaine and mdma and hanging out with UVF scumbags and ran out on me one night to go to a coke party which I ended up going to, got sexually assualted while looking for my bf who had already been kicked out at that point who i later found wondering the streets with his most of his clothes missing and his trousers undone. Luckily I have my own life and goals and place that I was always able to leave but I never really caught him red handed doing anything apart from drugs. Yet. Tonight. I got told a lot of shit about him. I didn't even let the person know what I knew, everything just started adding up. We've been broken up for months and now people are gleefully telling me this shite.

Where was all this information when I was dating him??? So many people are now happy to tell me that I deserve better and no one could understand what I was doing with a scumbag like him, but no one told me shit about him???? If someone would have told me your bf goes to brothels and fucks anything I would have been like THANK U LET ME DITCH THIS FRUIT. The friend that is telling me shit is like "Now I don't want to get involved…" It's over now! I would have preferred you to have got involved while I was dating him. I feel humiliated. I just kept telling the person this is so embarrassing for me. They were like how is it embarrassing for you, it's embarrassing for your ex. And it's like, I dated the tranny lover?

I've never had issues getting a guy. Every guy I've ever liked I've gotten to date or be with. I know I am an attractive woman and I'm financially independent with a good head on my shoulders. I never really suffered from a lack of confidence, in fact I probably can come off as narcissistic to some people because things just work out well for me. I feel like this is a slap in the face lol. Fucking trannies???? I feel like exposing these fucking brothels and letting women know that live in Belfast that brothels are fucking everywhere. If they're not fucking some eastern european 16 yo pretending to be 22 and up for it, they're fucking a tranny. There is nothing empowering about sex work. What is empowering about men cheating or using whores for their benefit. It's not like these "women" are getting pleasure. They're being paid for their confidentiality, silence and hole. That's it. Christ, I was near suicidal working a customer service job with inbound calls that never stopped. At least I didn't have to get fucking penetrated in my orifices to meet targets. No one would recommend sex work to their mates or family ever.

I'm so sick. Society is fucked. Porn sickness is real. What the fuck is empowering about letting people with 3 inch dicks do what they want to you? I am aghast

No. 511675

I feel you anon. When my bf cheated on me, no one told me and they knew about it. They looked me in the eye and said nothing.

It’s humiliating to find out during or afterr a relationship. I was going to say get tested but I read you’re already doing that. I hope you’re ok and your rage is justified.

No. 511676

Fucking sucks balls to eat less than 1000 calories, no trash and still be a fatty because my thyroids are fucked up. A fucking cliché and it makes me SAD AND ANGRY.

No. 511677

I go to uni with a family friend who I've known for a long time. Other than being family friends, we don't have much in common, but I still care about her and want her to do well. However, she has been developing a poor reputation because she has been acting creepy to people at school, but she denies that there's nothing wrong with her actions and people are discriminating against her.

About a year ago, I saw that she wasn't doing well after transferring to my university. I decided to see what was up and ask that we get dinner. She got mad at me for ghosting her after not responding to her text message for a couple of days. (It was Spring Break and I was busy)

After Sping Break, we get dinner. I ask her if she is coming and she freaks out at me. The dinner doesn't go well and she is acts rude about my suggestions. In particular, I tell her to let go of her crush she had a couple of years ago, but she is convinced that he is still in love with her even though they just kissed. Then things go downhill after she writes a text message to my dad accusing me and some other family friends at our uni that we are spreading rumors about her.

It's a year later and things are even worse - she got a no contact order from a girl I know well. My friend doesn't see anything wrong with what she did and has no idea why she got one. She thinks life is unfair because people are "spreading rumors" about her. She denies that she is doing anything inappropriate because she is "just trying to make friends" because she really wants to be able to talk with "someone she trusts".

I guess this is none of my business. But it is so frustrating to see someone be so deluded and that she won't listen to someone trying to help her out.

No. 511678

Bloody hell anon, I feel this energy and I empathize. I agree that any man who fucks a tranny is repulsive, no less one who's going behind your back and potentially exposing you to harmful fag STDs.
How fucking despicable. I think I remember your coke bf from past times you've vented about him but this takes the cake. I hope your tests come back clean, I'd be horrified.

Also don't accept the weak ass excuses from your friends. In fact, consider ditching these so called friends too! I can't believe not once did they attempt to bitch out your shitty ex bf or let you know. Fucking whores behind a significant other's back is serious business. "But I don't wanna get involved" is something I'd say over a spat of housing decor or childrearing methods, not ignoring the fact that someone's man is fucking other men and possibly giving the woman a disease! It's outrageous. Clearly these friends get something out of you being in shit relationships, maybe to make themselves feel better who knows.

No. 511680

Thanks anon, I'm so mad at the friends too that knew but I don't want to break up with them too lol… I'm definitely never dating someone with any history of party drugs. One of his mates killed himself months ago and I found out a few weeks ago that guy was a pimp. No wonder my ex was so upset, probably lost out on some cheap sex. Even the pimps kill themselves. Low life bastards.

No. 511681

Thanks anon. One of the girls I suspect was a whore at some point too. Her fiancé cheats on her and he bought her a second hand fucked up car to apologise and got her pregnant a second time. She's particularly gleeful about the whole fallout. At least I don't have two kids to the faggot. I'm ditching her for sure, her fiance made passes at me a few times. They're all so gross. I preferred when I was naive and didn't know this shit went on

No. 511721

I just fucking hate how all my teachers are extra. We all had to write something and the people who didn't format correctly, I was one of them, got their essays posted in the front of the class. If the mistake was bad enough she'd call out the students name in person and say exactly what they did wrong. Even worse I'm pretty sure most of the formatting errors were because no one wanted to deal with talking to proff about the requirements (The teacher would just respond with a sassy without answering if they think the question is to obvious). I should suck it up and deal with it, but I'm so fucking tired of dealing with a proff who's so unhinged they need to walk out of the class ever few days because their students have irritated them that much.

No. 511732

I had a few profs who pulled this kind of shit as well. I think I recall only one ever having a productive critique and never singled anyone out.
It amazes me that they think embarrassing students is a great idea.

No. 511737

File: 1580941164652.jpg (105.83 KB, 1024x948, 1483396394441.jpg)

>spend an hour making a beat
>it sounds horrible
>about to delete everything I just created but then FL Studio crashes on me
reeeeeeeeeeeee idkwhyimsoangrybutiamreeeeeeeee

No. 511743

>buy frozen fish filets
>no matter what brand I buy, type of fish I choose, or way I prepare it, the fish always taste fishy
It's so gross.
I hate it. I wish I could afford buying fresh seafood every day but it's just not possible. It's such an easy way for my diet to be healthier without the drudgery of vegetarianism but ofc people try to sell bad fish to profit.

No. 511758

I'm big mad right now. Got a letter from PP talking about the results of my std screening. It says my initial screening for syphilis was positive but the confirmation test was negative. They said to disregard it if I don't experience further symptoms or if I'm not high risk but OBVIOUSLY anyone sane would wanna be retested! They said to retest in a month. My pap and std test cost me big $$$ (uninsured murrican) and now I have to go get more financially raped just to make sure I'm safe and not in deep shit.

My mind is racing about whodunnit if it's true.
In December I went out and slept with what turned out to be a giant deceitful asshole who turned out was into poly shit and never had any intention to see me monogamously. At the end of December I thought I came down with flu (never confirmed it bc I have no primary care and didn't wanna pay big $$$ just to have an urgent care worker tell me there's nothing they could do about flu).
Apparently a syphilis test can be thrown off by flu antibodies, and since I had it so recently maybe that's what threw my test and caused the false positive.

BUT THEN AGAIN, what if the "flu" I had was actually me getting fucking infected with syphilis from that scumbag?! I don't have anything like a rash, chancres, or sores. The ob at PP didn't see anything when she was looking at my vagina for a pap and told me my vagina looked healthy.
I'm just so blown away right now. Who the fuck wants to play around with this? I wish they'd just give me the damn antibiotic regimen regardless if I have it so I can have some god damn peace of mind that something's being done about it in case I do. JUST GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN PENICILLIN YOU MIND FUCKING DICKS!
>inb4 it's curable
My dudes, I just feel really violated and the financial strain is stressing me tf out. Also I hate not knowing.

No. 511764

Thanks anon, this made me smile! I hope things get better for you too, you seem like a great person.

From a country in Europe with free public healthcare and I can't afford to go private so I'll just most likely get the same person again. Thanks though, I'm still going to try!

No. 511777

I am supposed to be graduating this semester but I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail a course for the first time in my university career. Then I will have to retake the class and accumulate $7k more in debt and I'm already in a lot of debt as it is (it will be in total almost $60K if I stay another semester) and my GPA will be lowered. I'm really depressed and considering ending my life at this point. I've been in university for fucking YEARS. I can't do this anymore.

No. 511785

>killing yourself over student debt and having to take one extra class

You're so close anon, it would be stupid to end it now.
Since graduating in 2015 I've had $8k added to my pile just in interest. I don't give a fuck anymore. Vote politicians that promise to eliminate or reduce student loan debt, no one should have to pay back unfair and predatory loans while other developed countries get theirs for free or next to nothing. You will be a valuable contributor to society for being educated and presumably eventually obtaining a skilled job, you'll repay your 'debt' to society one way or another. So don't stress the number, and remember to file yearly for income based repayment so you won't get fucked with monthly repayments.

No. 511794

i absolutely could not believe that shit about boku no hero academia

No. 511797

File: 1580958429169.jpg (32.44 KB, 288x339, 1485021089303.jpg)

I'm turning 25 this month and I have done nothing with my life. I've had clinical depression since I was 17 so I've always had trouble getting motivated to improve my situation. I work the same dead end job since I was 18, the only change I made in my life is getting transferred out of my hick town to the big city. I dreamed of coming here since I was a teenager, but now I'm miserable, I miss my parents and have nobody to talk to. All I do is work and most of my paycheck goes to rent and bills. I'm getting more depressed and slipping back into my old neet habits.
I want so badly to draw regularly and be able to sell my art for a living but I just don't have the energy anymore. In December I got into the routine of drawing every morning, I was doing pretty good but in January I just crashed, now I can barely get out of bed in the morning let alone bring myself to put energy into anything creative. My brain is completely fried from years of mental illness, I feel like an alzheimer's patient, I have big holes in my memory day to day, I forget words, I'm trying to write stories or think up ideas for drawings and I have to write them down right away or they're gone forever.
I just want to move back in with my parents, but I spent all my savings moving here and I don't want it to be for nothing. What can I even do. I feel old and like my life is over. At 19 I thought that I would be functional and have my shit together by now but everything is the same. I tried to be optimistic for 2020 but my future looks so bleak and I'm so so tired and ready to die

No. 511800

you mean the videos of people tossing their mangas in the trash because of that entire name drama? it's so funny tbh love how people are so quick to lose their minds over something so small and irrelevant

No. 511802

no, i mean the author's piss poor excuse. if you read moon runes you'd know he wrote it with the same characters as the word used in WW2 and the scientist who he named that also does human experimentation.

No. 511805

genuinely can't even understand why he thought that would be a good idea though like … he knows it himself that bnha is a very well known and famous manga/show with an international fanbase and could've put 2+2 together and found out that the name would result into people losing their minds like this and a huge controversy as well, but he still did it and then proceeded to apologize like why even do it in the first place

No. 511806

You have to find some activity to Involve yourself in to make friends, take up conga dancing, Knitting hell even try Karate or Judo but you gotta find something to involve yourself in

No. 511807

seriously. i also don't get people who think it wasn't an obvious reference. this is japan, they're not exactly known for subtlety. plus the general populous hates mainland china and people from mainland hate japanese people as well.

No. 511808

thinking you shouldn't move back home because you already spent so much is a sunk cost fallacy. if you're not enjoying the city and it's eating your money I would leave, there's no shame in it. go home, spend the money you'd save on a good psych. you sound like you're struggling alone and you don't need to. much love anon

No. 511810

Ngl I love watching the Japanese users roast foreigners who are supporting him. Especially, when they point out the fact that foreigners are using caps from free manga scanlation websites in their support posts.

No. 511811

I am sick and tired of being taken advantage of by others because of my motherly/nurturing nature. It pisses me off so much how men with mother complexes think I can somehow fill that void for them, im not your fucking mother replacement, I'm my own woman and I expect to be with someone equal to me in a relationship. I hate how men (and even some girls) grow romantically attracted to me and I despise romantic relationships because to me they've been nothing but shittier friendships where people expect me to do sexual things for them as well. My nurturing side isn't a kink or a fetish, neither is motherhood and I despise those who turn something as beautiful as motherly love into something to jerk off to. I hate this and i hate being seen as a sexual thing, I hate attracting weak pathetic loser manchildren who know I will pity them. I despise this

No. 511815

I'll think about it, anon. Thank-you

No. 511818

File: 1580961153939.jpeg (315.31 KB, 750x658, BB349759-4660-4A88-9B62-CD4253…)

cannot stand how the only people who try to support the author are the people who are the least affected by the drama or the history that the scientists name carries (nearly all western fans tbh). it's so incredibly stupid how hard they're trying to suck up to horikoshi, he has fucked up and we all know it. the least thing he needs is some support from wack fans, just let everyone roast him and his show

No. 511822

Really? I find that kind of surprising tbh. What do they say?


No. 511825

This is a stupid vent, but sometimes I really fucking hate that 4chan is one of the best places to talk about my interests. It moves fast enough, and has a big enough userbase, the conversation keeps going and switches up often, and it's not super tight-assed. I hate it the most because that means I have to share threads with dumb sexist scrotes. I can't even have fun talking about whatever fictional universe I want to talk about, without some moron inevitably going off on some stupid tirade about women.

I lurk messageboards and stuff sometimes, but just either find them too slow, or too rule-heavy overall. It's hard to find a place with a good balance, I guess.

No. 511829

I started watching Rirakkuma and Kaoru and I was enjoying for at least one whole episode until that awful brat showed up, and then it got even worse with the terrifying nightmare fuel of mushrooms sprouting from Rilakkuma in the third episode. The zips on the bear designs feel more sinister after this.
I thought this was meant to be a comfy show but I feel anything but calm now.

No. 511835

anon how many times are you going to delete and then post your rant about johnny depp and his wife again

No. 511838

I feel the same with certain boards as well anon. The only thing we can do is encourage people to post more in /m/ or /ot/ if they're female. We do have some cozy threads going anyways.

No. 511839

i knew it would be shit when i saw the previews but i didn't think it'd be that bad.

No. 511843

I feel like a lot of people miss the point of lolita fashion being trying to look like a doll, not just putting on a wig and a puffy knee-length dress and wearing nonsense accessories.

No. 511851

>start feeling anxious
Shit… guess I'll just do something to focus on anything besides the anxiety, who knows how long this wave will last
>sudden urge to poop
>anxiety goes away after I poop
Why am I not surprised…

No. 511852

File: 1580973766758.gif (6.69 MB, 300x224, FF0FEF00-5E6C-47F6-9702-C40E3E…)

I’m the same age as you anon, dealing with the same shit. I feel like a fucking failure and I feel constantly run down and exhausted from feeling so emotional or numb. I just want to make a living off of my creative writing or my painting.
Sending you love and understanding anon.

No. 511853

my parents are so fucking loud that even listening to things on earphones I can literally still hear them. on top of that the walls are paper thin here. I can't even watch youtube videos (with earphones) in peace let alone read. I have earplugs but they're really uncomfortable. I just want some fucking peace and quiet for once in my life.

No. 511855

move out or at least buy anc headphones. problem solved

No. 511868

File: 1580982368855.png (207.54 KB, 499x544, 312032d7-ab41-403e-aacb-d6c5dd…)

I have no idea what to do with my life because I have choices but if I choose wrong I can't go back because I have limited money.

Like I want to get an education but what if I pay but don't like it?

I want to get into IT stuff but all the classes require you to have some knowledge already or are in a different town and I can't afford to travel an extra hour.

I'd also need a car but shit's expensive and with my current job I might be able to afford a shitty care in like 3 years. Maybe.

Can't get a better job without a car or better/different education.

I thought about moving out to a bigger city but with roommates but there are only like 7 listings with expensive places that keep getting reposted.

I just hate everything. I miss being with my ex fiance and having everything figured out.

No. 511871

Why do you care it was a tranny? Cheating is shit anyway

No. 511873

If people want to "putting on a wig and a puffy knee-length dress and wearing nonsense accessories" then that's fine, don't be fucking fashion hitler, we get judged for what we're wearing enough already

No. 511879

People who think having depression makes them deep, special, and 'so soft uwu' are sooo fucking annoying and insufferable, especially when they make no effort to improve. Depression is not a personality trait! I get it when you're in your teens but when you're in your twenties, it's just sad to see. One of my friends is like this and she gets on my nerves everyday.

No. 511882

I think you meant to reply to me.
I'm not a fashion hitler (I kinda don't care about fashion in general) but I am a doll collector so it always strikes me as odd.
But the thing is when I was younger there was a pretty famous deviantartist who would draw lolita styles (it was a male so inb4 "judging /us/" again) which while I liked his art when I was a kid, now that I'm older, I kinda realize he was perpetuating the wrong idea of lolita fashion and also his art wasn't really that good but it was better than most western-lolita artists at the time so idk. Maybe he had some influence in the lolita community, idek.

No. 511883

>Depression is not a personality trait!
I get what you mean but if you had depression for most of your life it has most likely warped and affected your personality to the point you don't know who you would be without mental illness consuming your whole life

No. 511884

Depression, it's hard but also stupidly common and has never been cured by tweeting about it

No. 511885

ended up cutting off multiple people because of this exactly. i support my friends but know you can only be there for them so much before it becomes a bit redundant. ive been dealing w an incurable disease since childhood, nothing stings more than hearing how "impossible" it is for them to help themselves. they dont try therapy, they expect their first attemps at medication to be the last or else theyre "uwu so troubled so dark" and "soo misunderstood you just couldnt understand". like fuck at least you can fix your problem and you STILL choose to pityhunt and suffer with it. in a country with mental health support and public resources for affordable treatment out of all places. putting up with it during the teen years i thought they would outgrow it? or at least stop plastering it everywhere like some quirky personality trait for everyone to see?

No. 511886

Nta but I had depression diagnosed right at the start of puberty and have been on and off meds for 19 years. I still cringe at my younger self and how self absorbed it made me. Now I mostly shut up about it. All that whinging never helped with it

No. 511887

If they had presented it as a surreal type of Tim Burton thing then maybe it would have been cool, but it just feels like a switch and bait.

No. 511888

I think it's just an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism.
>Damn I have this really shitty thing that affect my whole life and makes me really cringe and annoying
>Actually I'm a sensitive intellectual who's eyes are wide open

No. 511890

Thanks for proving why 'depression is not a personality' is bs (even if it was not your intention) lmfao.
Maybe whining was not the best coping mechanism, but at the time it was all you had.

No. 511891

I've noticed an improvement since I stopped talking about as much. Not trying to prove any particular point, just saying what my experience was

No. 511892

Anxiety has been so bad lately. I went to go exercise today and that helped temporarily. Maybe it's because I didn't get enough sleep. One of the big symptoms right now is brain fog and tinnitus. I'm gonna go to a Zumba class in the morning. I seriously need to start interacting with people more often.

No. 511895

I hate it when anons on here treat every discussion as a debate that must be won. It's such a male mentality to have to 'win' every discussion rather than simply discussing it and hearing other peoples thoughts.

No. 511896

A few nights ago when I was hating myself I made the extremely stupid decision to make a cut on my hand, it was supposed to be small but it ended up being a little longer and bigger than I intended and I really fucking regret it. I've had a bandaid on it the whole time it's healing and lied to my family that it's just a mosquito bite but I know it doesn't look anything like one, and I can't keep it on there forever. Everytime I think about it I get really anxious and hate myself a little more for being so goddamn idiotic and pathetic. Like if I was gonna cut at least make it in a place nowhere can see ffs lol.

No. 511897

Cuts on the hand are like the most common kind of cut so it's not like a cut wrist that hard to explain. I sliced my hand while closing an umbrella lately, hands get cut all sorts of weird ways

No. 511905

You can easily pass this off as being a scratch from a pet. If anybody asks, just say you were playing with some dogs / cats kinda rough.

No. 511913


No. 511914

>It's such a male mentality to have to 'win'


No. 511932

Bought my first home 18 months ago and one of my pensioner age neighbors was friendly from the start. It was nice at first but now every time I leave the house he happens to leave his a few seconds after me and call out to me. We have nothing in common. Chatting is painful. I've never actually told him my age but I look very young for my age and on a couple of occasions I didn't like how he has looked my body up and down during conversation or commented on my legs/tattoos etc if I wear shorts. I'm gay, one third of his age and living alone so I'm easily creeped out.

I hate having to be polite. He recently suggested coming to my house for a cup of tea. I don't have tea, I don't want you in my home. I even dread walking past your fucking house. I just saw him in a local bar cornering a young female bartender in conversation. The same painful and forced conversation full of awkward pauses lol

No. 511938

File: 1580999595486.jpeg (5.54 KB, 275x183, download.jpeg)

Can someone just reassure me that I'm overthinking and need to calm down? Sorry, this will be long winded.

I'm used to relationships moving fairly quickly but I realize these days that it's actually a red flag when men move quick.
Ex. My last long term relationship of 4 years started bc my ex left with me from a bar and never left my apartment. So he never had a courtship phase with me and I didn't get to know who he was first before he was living with me. I didn't see anything wrong at the time because it felt good to believe someone wanted me that badly. Huge mistake and it cost me.

Well, obviously I want to take things slower with any new men. A lot has changed in the five or so years I've been out of the dating pool. Things are very different, I feel like men are a lot more conniving and are just trying to get the most out of women for the least. Not to mention the type of relationship that I'm trying to date for (marriage, buying a house together, maybe kids) severely limits my pool because most men really aren't interested in serious relationships. Lots of guys hate responsibilities and commitments. I can't even tell you the amount of times the men I've liked turned out to be poly or want open relationships, yuck. Seems like most would be content with a coolgirl who has no demands so all they have to do is go to work, watch porn, and play video games when they get home. I digress.

Enter this guy who I'll call Brian. Brian seems to be good on paper. He has a good job, educated, and has his own place. Claims he doesn't have social media, lets me into his phone to pick spotify music. He's younger than me by five years. He is pretty normie, although he seems into some aspects of geek culture. My favorite is that he isn't obsessed with video games and agrees that they're unhealthy in excess.
Our dates have been great and he seems to be thoughtful and talkative when we are on them. He drives to me to pick me up, opens doors, pays for meals, etc.
The rest of the time though? Radio silence. He only texts me to plan a date. The last time he texted me briefly was on Sunday when I texted him first to ask how his palindrome day was (I know I'm cringe). Based on the track record we tend to have one date per weekend. It's Thursday and he hasn't texted me or anything. When we hung out Saturday he hinted at Valentine's Day. I have a sinking dread that he intends to skip this weekend and ignore me until he wants to do something for next weekend. Ugh.

It's not that I don't have other plans or that I can't keep myself busy. It's just that I really like him, and I wish he would engage with me a bit more. I tried to bring up his lack of communication playfully. Two weeks ago I texted him a pic of something I was working on and captioned it "Hey if you still care about me and my silly projects check this out!" It came off as passive aggressive. I apologized and just said how I liked him and wished he texted me more…yet nothing changed haha. He still doesn't text me.
There's reasons, I guess. He told me he's an insomniac and has a busy work schedule, and apparently he has adhd. Could be true, could be not true, could be a half truth. I didn't press the issue. It's not attractive for women to chase men or come off as clingy and I realize that.

We had really bad-took-his-virginity sex on our third date. I'm starting to think I didn't do myself any favors and probably shown my hand too early. Is it a wonder that I'm wanting more of this guy after only knowing him for two months? I think I'm expecting too much. Maybe this amount of distance is normal as he seems to treat me decent on our actual dates. I feel like I'm overreacting, but on the other hand, what if I'm not and this guy just isn't as into me as I'd hoped? Guess I'm so used to mistreatment and some guys ghosting me that I may be looking too hard into this issue–if you could even call it one. It's like for all he's done for me, I still can't trust him fully because he's a man and I'm just so anxious that if I let my guard down that I'll get screwed over somehow.

No. 511942

Depression is often a result of being "too" realistic so in a way it is a personality trait

No. 511947

I have a friend with a personality disorder and hearing about it made me really question what personality is and where disorders fit into it.

I hate seeing people post about their diagnosis daily though. When an illness lasts for years people get burnout from hearing about it too. I left twitter but my old feed was full of vague updates like 'low mood today or anxiety kicking my butt today'

No. 511961

Wow. Just matched with another guy from my school who is actually still in a relationship when I did a little more digging on him. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

No. 511962

Because men are fucked.

No. 511964

people are allowed to vent on the net tho. don't like, don't follow or just mute them. you are not entitled to being entertained by others, especially when they feel like shit.

No. 511977

You seem very passive

No. 511981

People tell me I shouldn’t judge men harshly but I see shit like this but can’t help but have the exact same sentiment. When I found his Facebook, I saw photos with his girlfriend out on multiple road trips and vacations and his girlfriend’s mom even tagging him in family photos where they all are spending time together. They look like a “perfect” couple, both from rich families and both attractive and having been together since high school it seems. Pretty fucked that he messaged me about meeting too before I found out.

No. 511983

What should I do?
It just seems like my results weren't better when I was assertive and went after what I wanted. I feel like I got shat on more than anything.

No. 511985

> you are not entitled to being entertained by others

Go back to twitter

No. 511986

Thank you for your answers!
Tbh I have 0 knowledge about these stuff (I let my little brother handle this for me because I never really cared nor am I good at anything that has to do with PC/Internet so yeah). I appealed just now so I'll just wait what they gonna do.

At least I realized that I should learn more about these things for my own sake.

No. 511988

He's a fucking virgin. He's obviously not mature enough for the relationship you want. Inexperienced people tend to be more distant and lack empathy because they never had that kind of proximity. Especially when there is no love at first sight.
Keep seeing him but don't limit yourself. Go on another dates with other people.

No. 511989

Hey anon I have a vid I think you should watch

No. 511991

Nah, you twisted my words in the previous post to somehow read a whole new meaning from it so I won't take video recommendations from crazy

No. 511992

>keep dating other people
That could relate to my feelings right now. I just gone done cutting off and blocking other potential dates for incompatibilities or being idiots. There's a few who would date me but I find them incompatible or unattractive.
It's tough when there's no conceivable options.

No. 511993

I feel like this mentality fucked me over a lot in college. Pretty much everyone in my friend group was like this. We were all super big on tumblr and weeb shit, it was always a lowkey competition of 'whos the most depressed bitch in this house' even though we all tried to be supportive of each other. Looking back on it, it was a shitty environment to be in. One girl in particular who was my roommate for a semester would constantly not go to class because she was sick or too sad that day. She was eventually kicked out (twice lol) because her piss poor attendance alone for multiple classes caused her to fail. She would always go on about her depression and her OCs and how she's just trying her best to be happy. On occasion I check her twitter and she still goes on and on about the same thing. It's not that wild that she hasn't changed, but fuck.

Living with a bunch of people who glamorized mental illness, especially during times when I genuinely struggled with it (I think we all truly did, but none of us really wanted help for it otherwise we would just be basic normie bitches) really fucked me up. After leaving college and getting away from those people, I was just left with some bad brain shit and zero ways to cope with my emotions and struggles in a healthy way. I do a lot better now and I wonder what the fuck was fun or glamorous about struggling and feeling sad and why I wanted so desperately to be in that state all the time. I know they're still lowkey glamorizing all of that shit, while also retweeting shit on twitter saying "can you believe people go to bed early and go to the gym to exercise and process their negative emotions in a healthy manner?" BITCH THAT COULD BE YOU IF YOU STOPPED WALLOWING IN YOUR OWN SHIT FOR TWO SECONDS.

No. 511994

I'm a different anon you dumbfuck
You just sound like a bitch

No. 511997

cool, not watching the vid tho

No. 512000

Diff anon but what are the seven signs of being lonely? I can't watch the video cause I'm at work but I'm curious.

No. 512002

Posting on here, calling people names in response to any post you don't like? lol

No. 512003

I meant in the video but that's cool sure.

No. 512008

Your insomnia is an ongoing problem, your anxiety worsens, you live on your couch or your bed, you have difficulties with social situations, you choose material things over people, you're gaining weight, alone time doesn't feel fun anymore

No. 512009


No. 512012

A relative on my dads side of the family sexually abused me as a kid and my family doesn't know.

I've had this love/hate relationship and distance between me and my dad for so long because of it. I live hours away from him now and I find myself ignoring his texts for several weeks at a time. I know why I'm doing it but it feels out of my control. I hate him by extension, both for leaving me alone with that man and for looking eerily similar to that man.

No. 512014

My coworker fucking insisted that we didn't need a commercial invoice for our fedex packages and now guess what? One of the packages is stuck in overseas customs because it needs a commercial invoice. I'm so fucking pissed. Bitch why the fuck would Fedex lie to me? Should've listened to the fucking rep. FUCK.

No. 512017

I love a lot of the Weeknd's music but fuck his fans are literally the worst. "New fans will never appreciate the old songs like us REAL fans who were here from the beginning lol ew fake fans only know the hits Abel sold out the only good music he made was years ago" literally duct tape your mouths for the rest of eternity please. Entitled gatekeeping pricks always ruin the fun for others, just shut up and enjoy the music you like, why the fuck that's so hard I'll never know

No. 512018

File: 1581009333804.jpg (73.97 KB, 599x563, 1477145337653.jpg)

>when you like a band but they're foreign so you want to translate their wikipedia page into English but then you go on the website where they posted music on and the people from their country says their music is shit and that none of their songs are good
wew lass

No. 512021

I'm looking for a budgeting app that is actually completely (or mostly) free for IOS, shits so annoying, I keep downloading it, then sign up, and once I do, I find out halfway through filling it that I have to pay for some shit.
I'm also angry that my previous employer still hasn't sent my 4% vacation pay, and my T4 so I can do my taxes. I need it before the end of the month, and she told me she'd have them sent about a month ago.

No. 512032

I don't think I'm mentally handicapped, but my trauma and mental disorders definitely make me feel like I am. I decided to go to the gym and try to make friends and everyone basically approached and talked to me like I was handicapped or something. Maybe it's the way I present myself? Is it my facial features? Is it how I walk? I was one of the younger people, maybe that's why they were sort of talking down to me… IDK it's making my self esteem feel tainted in a way. I'm trying my best to recover from this mental disorder, just these little things make it seem like I'm back at square one.

No. 512047

Maybe your gut feeling is correct and these aren't people who like you and want to be your friend. Imo it's kind of weird to make friends at the gym unless you already know someone who can introduce you to a circle.
People are at the gym to be sweaty and perform a routine, I don't think they expect to entertain conversations with randoms. No offense anon. I think you'll have better luck at someplace else.

No. 512056

Got me curious, which band?

No. 512070

Was it your first time at the gym? Sometimes they’re like a school or church where people are used to seeing the same people there every day. What kind of stuff did they talk about?

No. 512071

File: 1581014983941.png (123.63 KB, 644x712, very cool.PNG)

Joshua. This is my favorite song by them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu0g3wekmHg
And some of their album reviews translated into English:
>I didn't like it… (…) not a single melody resonated with me (…) Soon to be forgotten.
>Just horrible
>Not quite sure I understand what they're trying to accomplish…
>Completely tasteless. I don't know where these people find the courage to produce such colorless pieces… Totally useless music.

No. 512078

Time is going by super fast for me.

That sounds nice on paper but I feel like I'm not doing anything for all that's gone by.

No. 512081

It was my first time going to a class. I frequent the gym often, hanging out in the weight room and just keeping to myself browsing on my phone while exercising. Today, I didn't try to approach anybody, I was just was waiting for the class to start and the ladies also waiting pulled me into their talking circle. It was an awkward friendly. It was such a short interaction, like 5 minutes at most, we were just discussing birdhouses lol.
I've been told I have a really soft voice, so maybe that's a big reason why people talk to me like I'm fragile at first.

No. 512085

I don't know how to explain this, but I could move for like 30 seconds. I always have this thing were when I'm about to do something I'll say 'i can do it later'. I did that when i was trying to turn my phone off a few minutes ago. I did the whole 'i can do it later' thing and I tried to get over that feeling, but I stuck for 30 seconds unable to turn off my phone. I was willing myself, but I simply couldn't press the off button.

No. 512087

Why you care though? Nobody knows them here in France. And yeah their music is very irritating tbh lol

No. 512090

Thanks and sorry for being nosy lol, it does sound kinda messy and kinda something else, can't just put my finger on it. Ignore the salty reviews.

No. 512091

I don't care, and they're from Belgium, not France. The comments made me lol.

No. 512114

this anon is right.

No. 512130

File: 1581025704824.jpeg (13.83 KB, 154x156, 7B0405EB-007D-4C73-81A0-4ECEC5…)

I got a C- in a ONE CREDIT core class last semester it is literally the only thing keeping me from fully graduating. I needed just a straight C or else it doesn’t count. This class has literally nothing to do with my degree or my career path, but I’m still stuck. My school accidentally posted my degree to my account (obviously I wasn’t going to correct them), sent me my diploma and JUST TOLD ME TODAY after TEN DAYS TO FIX IT that they are in the process of rescinding my degree anyways. My dad has already seen the diploma and if it goes missing he will be really suspicious. My father is incredibly emotionally abusive and I know that if he finds out what’s happened he will kick me out. I will lose my car, phone, computer, shelter, everything. He will never speak to me again. I got an e-mail saying that I needed to return my diploma but I told them that I’m fucking keeping it. I will take this stupid fucking class but I cannot let my dad know what’s happened. That stupid ducking piece of paper that lets everyone know I’m worthy of not living in poverty is staying with me.

No. 512133

This stupid girl in my office sent out a mass email to all of administration complaining about a cold water issue in the women's bathroom because she misunderstood me yesterday when I said that there was a guy here to fix the men's bathroom (she asked what was going on when she saw the toolbox he had left outside the bathrooms- I said didn't know exactly what was going on but the building worker just said he was sent up to fix the bathroom. He later told me they put up a sign on one of the stalls so I guess it was some toilet issue). She ended up assuming he was there to fix the sinks, and now the HR director sent out a reply lowkey shading me saying that I should've asked him to go into the women's bathroom to fix the issue too. But he wasn't… sent up to fix any sinks in the first place… I was told last month (when I did talk to someone about the sink issue) that it was just a waiting game of parts and whatever and that the building knew this was an issue already. Like fuck, it's just some cold water but she gets super huffy about it.

No. 512162

Every shift I contemplate just walking away from this dead end job of empty promises and shitty pay. I don’t do it because I want pocket money while I’m in college but the thought’s always there.

No. 512185

That ‘Feelin Oh So Cute’ filter on Instagram has me feeling like shit. I can’t stop looking at myself with it on and wondering if I would be a whole different person if I were that hot. I think I’d be a slut to be honest. I want to get plastic surgery so bad now lol, but I’m broke so that will most likely never happen.

No. 512187

File: 1581029688241.gif (160.43 KB, 400x267, 3VrqT0k.gif)

>the only person who even cares enough to text me is an old unattractive autogynephile with an underbite who thinks he's in my league

Aaaaaaand there goes my self esteem.

No. 512191

Maybe tell them you lost the diploma? They have no way of proving you're lying.

No. 512201

Wow anon, I was literally just doing the same thing. Weird part is, I’m not “ugly” but when I put those filters on it makes me believe I’m completely hideous and manly. My lips are naturally big but I put on those filters and I’m convinced I need lip filler. I think we all need to keep in mind they are truly damaging and messed up. They are cartoonish, unrealistic, and even make the most beautiful people somehow look “better”. It’s just a tool to make beauty standards even higher and fuck with our heads. I’m sure you do not need plastic surgery anon, these filters do this to us on purpose. It’s like a bimbo-fication tool or something I swear

No. 512207

Sad cringe

No. 512225

File: 1581032777889.png (191.45 KB, 500x281, 5FBC3EC5-9C67-469D-8FC9-26A133…)

And delete Instagram!
They do you absolutely no good. Stop using them before your self esteem gets worse, browse r/instagramreality , look at unshooped pictures of makeupless women, etc.

No. 512229

File: 1581032924847.gif (2.35 MB, 498x498, 7DB4CB19-BDFE-47AC-937F-C67BFC…)

I hate having PMS. I keep on having emotional outbursts. I feel really sad right now… for absolutely no reason! Today was an amazing day, nothing went wrong, and I'm very sad. The only reason I can think of is hormones and my period. Why do we go through this almost every month? I'm also angry, and happy, and horny.

No. 512231

i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job

No. 512255

It'll be a year in May since not speaking to my mom. Almost every member of family she's called to complain about me to seems to have tapered off contact with me.

It's kind of freeing actually? Feels pretty good to no longer be obligated to people who obviously never liked me. If they weren't family then they wouldn't be my friends or even my acquaintances. None of them ever reached out to hear my side of things, because the truth is they wanted a reason to not feel obligation to me likewise. Just wonder what sob story she cooked up for them to put the final nail in the coffin? The night when I left her she said awful things to me, and called me a "mean" daughter for who knows how many times up to that point. I've been more than happy to not make a liar of her. That is, if separating myself from her abuse is the "meanest" thing a daughter can do.

Her most malignant manipulation is going to her ex husband's sister. My cousin died in a car wreck when she was 16 from texting and driving. I think it's gross how my mom slid her way by her side and acted like my departure due to her abuse is on the same level as the tragic death of someone else's teen child. I have this aunt on my Facebook and sometimes I wonder if she's not bitter at me? Surely my mom lied to her about the gravity of the situation and therefore thinks I'm just being petulant and stubborn. Not sticking up for myself against an unstable and cruel woman.
My mom could talk to me again if she could admit her true wrongdoings and respect my boundaries. My aunt will never be able to talk to her daughter no matter what she does again…

No. 512262

Thanks anon. I appreciate the reply. It did help a little during the moment. I wish we didn't have student loans.

No. 512274

About five years ago, I was seeing a therapist who suggested I had "borderline tendencies" and told me to read a book for BPD people. I think she might not have had the license to give me a formal diagnosis. I went around really depressed for a while convinced I had a personality disorder and was inherently unlikable.

Nowadays I don't think I have anything seriously wrong with me at all. I have ADHD but I think it's somewhat managed, but I can be impulsive sometimes. I also have had an anxious attachment style, but I feel like I've mad progress over the years. At the time I had depression/anxiety and I was going through some changes in my life, including losing some friendships.

Since then I feel like I made a pretty full recovery without any professional help. It bothers me there are a bunch of quack therapists out there who mistake other psychological issues for serious disorders.

No. 512278

I hope you can get another job that you’re happier in anon.

No. 512279

I'm kind of in a similar boat. I was supposed to graduate like 2 years ago, but I made the stupid decision of doing things to please my parents, moving courses when I should have just stuck through with my original course and now I can't get a degree at all without putting myself in debt because I suck so hard at my current course.

You can make it, especially if you have never failed a course before and have no other things weighing you down. I believe in you.

No. 512283

Light exercise helps me handle my PMS symptoms better. Also, masturbating helps. It's all temporary relief, so make sure you do these things every 2 - 4 days.
I don't have the experience, but I have heard people swear by this progesterone cream you rub on your body during PMS and during your menstrual cycle. It apparently helps with your mood and cramping.

No. 512288

I hate being on my period. It makes me so moody. I cry super easily on it. I have a big presentation coming up tomorrow and I’m afraid I’ll be crying in front of everyone.

No. 512294

anon that sounds like somebody put on two mediocre songs at once. genuinely unlistenable. you do you though. blast that shit from the rooftops if you like it kek. just not the rooftops near my house please…

No. 512307

File: 1581041671093.jpg (176.6 KB, 1200x1379, 5431235453.jpg)

kek I just tried it and I looked like a freak.
>tfw my face is so fucked up not even insta filters can save it

No. 512309

Hell yeah. I've always liked music that was industrial or pushed into breakcore but I have my limits and I can't listen to speedcore or noisecore without a headache so I understand when some of these songs aren't that palatable.

No. 512323

File: 1581044682653.png (327.46 KB, 564x564, b275.png)

My coworkers are planning on holding a get together soon but I don't know if I can stomach it tbh. My romantic life, social life, work life, and home life have all left me feeling utterly pathetic and it's been weighing me down as of late. One of my coworkers, who's an uncoventional stacey to the max, is going to be there. She's really nice, so I can't hate on her too much, but have you ever met those kind of girls who's cute, and outgoing, and EVERYBODY just loves? It's miserable to be around. It's by no means her fault, but seeing how everyone engages her and has fun around her whilst I'm drowning in my insecurity and feeling all alone and undesirable sucks. And maybe it's paranoia but I get the sense that my coworkers are catching on to my bitter feelings. Bailing would definitely raise some suspicions but I seriously worry I won't be able to let loose and have fun.

No. 512324

I have the worst music taste I think I've ever heard, I haven't met anyone IRL who shares the same passion for avant-garde jazz with this like.. yodeling. I'm not even sure what genre the singing would be, perhaps abstract mouth music? I can't wait to finally meet a friend and be able to gush about it and perhaps create a piece but until then I feel lonely in art if that makes sense. This reads as pretentious as fuck but irl I'm not uppity, I swear. I just absolutely am not allowed to have the aux cord. Ever. I get it. But imagine?

No. 512337

Today I found out my husband’s brother is jealous of me because he’s ~secretly trans~ and I just so happen to have not only his ideal name, but the aesthetics and body he desires as well. I hope he stays “in the closet” forever and my brother in law doesn’t start trying to become me. Naturally he’s also absolutely disgusting as a human being (doesn’t shower, dirty clothes, etc) and has always been abusive to his girlfriends. This is a nightmare lmao

No. 512341

i really went off and wasted 8 hours online today when I have an exam tmw. it hasn't even hit me yet, i just avoid thinking about things so i don't even get stressed. i'll be crying in a couple hours like a little bitch though so it all balances out.

No. 512342

are you ok anon(s), that filter makes everyone look like a mutant ghoul. please love yourself

No. 512357

Agreed when I used it it made me look like a child. Even the girl who made it looks freakish lol

Second what anon said about Instagram/reality! Anons I’m sure you’re all beautiful

No. 512358

This is embarrassing

No. 512362

What the hell is avant garde jazz? Gentrified jazz? Redpill me anon

No. 512364

nta but if you put avant garde before describing anything you like you’re absolutely pretentious and are not as ~obscure as you think

No. 512366

This happens to me too

No. 512369

This is so common with trannys, to claim jealousy over someone they're close to and demand the other person "change" so they can discover themselves lol.

Retard, which artists are you talking about? Because they're probably not as obscure as you think

No. 512390

I just learned one of my close friends attempted to kiss my boyfriend twice. It happened a couple months ago but he just told me about it now. The first time she was insanely drunk and he was trying to help her to bed on the couch so he wrote it off as nothing. The second time she tried to kiss him as he was showing her out of our place. I really don't know what to think. I am so pissed at both of them. He finally told me tonight as I was getting ready to go see her, saying he put off telling me because of stuff I was going through at the time. I asked her about and she broke down asking for an apology saying she was so fucked up and lonely in her own marriage and he was being so nice to her. I wish he told me upfront. I trust him completely that nothing happened but it's is driving me crazy that they both knew and kept me in the dark.

No. 512402

I always wondered why my mother ended up marrying an abusive alcoholic when she was literally the best person you could ever find on earth.
Now I’m stuck in a toxic relationship with an emotional abuser and every time I cry because I feel guilty for his silence or screams, I can’t help it but I hate myself even more.
I don’t know how I got into this situation. He was always like this. Always. Since the very beginning. It’s not like I didn’t know what was coming, I knew it.
Maybe I’m truly fucked up and I love him just because of this, I don’t even know. Like I don’t know how you could be in love with someone who you hate, as a person. I guess I’m emotionally dependable but it tears me off every time I think about it because there is nothing he can give that makes it logical.

No. 512403

That really sucks anon, but I can understand your husband's thought pattern a little. If he really didn't make a move on her like he said, that's a good sign imo. I'd distance myself from that 'friend' of yours, she seems selfish and overly emotional, not a good combo at all. I hope you feel better soon!

No. 512404

There's no point in worrying about it now, what's done is done. Best of luck to you anon!!

No. 512405

I know exactly how you feel. There's a Stacey like that in my class, but lately I've heard her talking unnecessary bad behind some people's backs which kind of ruined my perception of her. She probably isn't as good as you think she is. I do recommend not going though, it just seems like you won't enjoy it. Tell them you have to sort out some family issues/issues at home or that something suddenly came up maybe?

No. 512416

I appreciate the nice words, anon. I was kind of drunk and feel bad for expressing anything lol. I am going to dump my friend. I have known her for nearly 10 years and it's too much for me look past.

No. 512418

I don't think you should dump your friend, she made a mistake and seems to honestly regret it and judging by the fact that she didn't try again with your husband means she won't be doing it again

No. 512420

You can never be too trusting. She tried it twice. Not good friend material.

No. 512422

Valentines day is next Friday and I'm trying to ignore but I can't help but feel a bit lonely since being single again. I plan to go to a museum on my own and I hope I'll be able to ignore all the couples that will be there if they'll be there.

No. 512424

I despise doing group work in Uni and I hate that I have to do it. It's pointless and stupid. If one person makes a mistake, the whole group is accountable. I could finish it quicker myself, but then I have to be put with a bunch of people and ahh it just slows everything down. I already hate Uni. I wish I could drop out.

No. 512427

Any other U.K. farmers?

Philip Schofield off the tv show This Morning came out as gay. Alright so it isn’t the fact he’s gay because I always assumed he was. But it’s a business move over the shit drama with Ruth and Eamon. Coming out was his trump cArd and I suspected Philips wife had known for fucking years.

Plus Philip is just a dick anyway and I can’t stomach holly either

No. 512428


I hated group work too and uni

Uni is overrated

No. 512434

File: 1581085131068.jpeg (6.56 KB, 231x218, 2nwjwos.jpeg)

I'm salty because I get the feeling this guy I've been going on dates with is gonna flake on me for valentine's day. Or not. He was picking my brain about things I like on our last outing but that doesn't mean shit to me when he makes me feel insecure about us. Idk his communication sucks and I refuse to always be the first texter. It's been almost a week since I sent the last which I also initiated. Yes I brought this issue up but it seems like he doesn't care much about it. I don't wanna nag someone into pretending to care about my needs when they either don't care or can't meet them. There's a very tiny chance that maybe his thought process is that the silence and mystery in between makes our dates more interesting, but I'm being too generous.

Given where he's at in life I think he just wants a woman to go out with occasionally. I mean that's fine but when I'm over here vying for a relationship that's a shit deal for me. Don't I deserve to be taken a bit more seriously as I depart my 20s? If someone was really about me they'd wanna spend more time with me and wouldn't ignore me for a week, right? Not to mention due to his silence I don't think we are gonna plan anything this weekend. It could be the vulnerable paranoid in me, but this would be the second time a weekend has been skipped and I greater assume that means he made plans with other girls. Noticed he seems to have a lot of female friends and hasn't talked anything about male mates besides work colleagues. I don't trust men to have my best interest at heart, and I don't care if I sound crazy in assuming the worst. Men are gonna do what's most opportunistic for themselves.

Go figure that the one guy I actually want attention from is playing dead, meanwhile the orbiters I'm a cold unreciprocal bitch to only makes them want me more. And of course orbiters are never quality men, always ugly entitled creeps. So while I could technically go on other dates it's not going to be worthwhile in the end.

No. 512445

I feel you. I mostly listen to more obscure baroque composers. People assume that I'm a pretentious snob or just plain weird.

UK anon here. I haven't owned a television for five years so this was the first I heard of it. I'm not surprised that Schofield came out as gay. Everyone is going to fawn over him for being so brave without any care for his wife or children. Shit like this is why I stopped paying for a television license. These days is nothing but a creatively bankrupt celebrity circlejerk. I don't understand how people sit a watch it for hours.

No. 512448

He has a wife and kids? He was straight enough to start a family.
Agreed, I haven’t had TV in years either. I hate celebrity culture, I don’t think I should care about some presenter who isn’t part of my immediate community and does fuckall for it, it’s all just filling people’s heads and wasting their time with the details of a complete stranger. Before social media it was tolerable, now it’s fuel for the garbage fire that is normies shitting up the internet with their opinions when this should be the thing you bitch about over tea at a friend’s house.

No. 512495

KEK. I'm a UK anon too and this is the first time I am hearing of this. I know the tabloids are going to milk the ever loving christ out of this for the next year. I've always hated this morning anyways, it's the ultimate boomer tv show. I hate tv in general and I just wait for everything to come online if it's good.

No. 512517

I get uncomfortable when I see horndogs say "I want her to choke me with her thighs and step on me" whenever they see a photo of a woman with a muscular build.

No. 512569

File: 1581098108851.gif (1 MB, 320x236, Ok.gif)

>annoying lady in cubicle next to me that constantly walks past to peer at my work is off today so that means I have the entire day to fuck off on my phone w/o being worried if I look busy enough

Easiest 10.5 hours ever.

No. 512574

Y da fuk she do that

No. 512578

I have a crush on William Osman.

No. 512581

Guys please give me realistic ways in which i can stop procrastinating and become more productive.
I'm lazy on top of being depressed af so i constantly use the internet as an escapism but it does nothing but make me lose focus even more, but it's also the only thing that makes me forget about real life for a while.
I really need to focus on college and i have hobbies that i want to start again but it feels like i'm hopeless.
I was always a procrastinator but it seems to get worse year by year…even the thought of picking up one of my books and studying for like 30min. seems unrealistic to me at this point.

No. 512586

Tbh I think people just get pissy if they think you're not working hard enough for the pay cause they think they're working hard for their pay.

No. 512588

Would a task list keep you on track?

No. 512589

same but ive been changing it up since New Years
I deleted social media on my phone
I try not to open multiple tabs on the comp
Been going to the gym 2x a week and lost 5 lbs by eating better

But im still procrastinating on finishing art projects because i get distracted and frustrated with my art. Try to figure out your priorities and make a daily system that will push you further in the direction you want.

Baby steps!

No. 512597

I wish I could sing.

No. 512615

File: 1581102275809.jpg (44.73 KB, 709x765, Rare pepe comp_419215_5582801.…)

3rd time working at a call center…got fired for having a one star review on Stella,shit fuck
I would get my ass kicked ass by my father if I'm tell him, discreetly I'm making a resume to go to another damn job (just for training) in order to get money
Holy shit my life is always going downhill

No. 512624

Absolutely not. I'm good at planning but actually executing them…

That's great. I hope you keep it up!

No. 512625

Anon I worked at a call center for three years and those were the worst god damn years of my life.
Don't go back. If you can work in a call center, you can land an office job which is ten times less stress and you wouldn't have to deal with so much customer bullshit.

No. 512627

one of my druggie friends helped me buy phentermine illegally. its a drug that helps obese people (im not so they couldn't prescribe it to me) lose weight. it kills your appetite. im taking it everyday but i worry cause im bipolar and take aripiprazole and lamotrigine. google doesn't show that they could counteract each other but i still worry. and i don't know if its cause im guilty, but i swear i feel unhappier lately. and weak. and i dont want to stop taking it. and i dont want my psych to find out im taking it. and i dont know why im doing this. anyone else has experience with phentermine?

No. 512630

I know it doesn't answer your question, but if you're not even obese is there something wrong with liking how you are?
If we told you there are contraindications, would it make you want to stop anyway?

You're mixing a stimulant with antipsychotics. In short–yes, this new drug is affecting the performance of your medications and you should stop. A doctor would tell you the same thing.

No. 512632

No offense anon but you are such a fucking idiot. You are literally overdosing yourself, this is no joke. Throw the pills away and hit the gym, jesus christ.

t. someone whose mother took illegal diet pills who included very similar ingredients in a too high dose, became a walking skinbag, had a stroke due to the pills which caused her brain damage and blindbess on one eye and would've been fucking dead if it wasn't for me reacting one minute sooner

No. 512633

Thanks but I have no choice :/
I live in a 3rd world shithole somewhere in Central American I can't get a good paying job unless I speak English and my Spanish is terrible

No. 512635


So you think taking this could trigger depressive episodes and things like that? Cause lamotrigine has helped more than valproate and i have been stable for months. so i really wouldn't like to mess up with my lamotrigine. Do you sincerely sincerely believe that one could affect the other? Or do you just not want me to take phentermine? Just want to hear your thoughts. No one knows im doing this so id like to talk with someone about it.

No. 512638


Jesus, Im so sorry to hear that anon. This might be fucked up to ask but for how long did she take the pills? I wanna know if im in too deep…

No. 512639

Eh, I guess it's better than amphetamine. Is it expensive on the streets?

No. 512640

Me too, Anon.

No. 512643

>So you think taking this could trigger depressive episodes and things like that?
They're completely opposing medications. It's like a tug of war in your brain, basically.
Presumably your other medications were prescribed by a professional who understands their interactions.
Introducing a weight loss amphetamine throws a wrench into the equation. I know you don't want to but the phentermine has gotta go. It is severely fucking with you, not to mention all these medications including phentermine metabolize in your liver so I'm sure your organs are suffering major stress.
You must have read online that even with supervised dosage, phentermine can only be taken for up to a few weeks. Even if you weren't feeling side effects, the effectiveness of phentermine is negligible after that time frame expires. It is not reliable and incompatible for your medication plan right now.

Sorry again anon. This will only hurt you if you continue.

No. 512644


where i live, no. i got two boxes for like 20 bucks. had no idea that long term they could cause strokes. so yeah i dont think anyone should be using for longer than a few weeks, like google says

No. 512647

literally why wouldnt you just take adderall for the same purpose? it's so easy to get legally or illegally, and it doesnt stop working the way phentermine does, and isn't anywhere near as risky. you can get it legally (safest bet) so simply… definitely stop taking those pills and if you insist on going the unhealthy route, take adderall. taking it for like, one week should even be enough to affect your eating habits imo

No. 512648


Thank you for your responses anon. i really appreciate you trying to explain this to me. as like i said, ive been too scared to tell anyone about it IRL. Finding the right drugs and dosage for my mental illness meds took like 2 years between my doc and i. i really really shouldnt mess it up. do you think i should just stop and act like nothing ever happened? or should i tell my dr i took it for a short period? I sincerely dont want her to know but what gives

No. 512651


i see. i honest to god had no idea man. i dont know about drugs other than the ones im prescribed. had i known this i probably would have done that. but with what i know now i dont think i will start taking adderall as well lol

No. 512653

Bruh amphetamine is expensive af on the streets and addictive. Also not sustainable at all, you'll get most of your appetite back after awhile and it has awful comedown. I think it's better anon took something that has a clear DEATH warning if abused.

No. 512655

Thanks anon! The material wasn't too difficult, I didn't have enough time to answer the last question though. I probably passed.

I'm >>512341. I saw this and almost thought I wrote it myself. I don't have advice but I hope both of us get our shit together!

No. 512692

So I suffer from chronic fatigue and it get worse recently, I'm tired all the time.
I'm thinking if this is because of my hormonal problems, I also get irritated. But it doesn't show like that every month and my thyroid is ok.
I'm just tired. I can't get a job because of that or even function normally.
Just kill me already.

No. 512694

File: 1581112698201.jpg (367.77 KB, 750x468, 3827fb7.jpg)

I just realized that every person I was close with has eventually replaced me. It's been happening since elementary school and tbh it sure left a scar. What's worse is that often the friendship that was didn't even gradually fade, it just happened over the span of a week most of the time, despite being friends with these people for months or years.

I hate not being good enough and constantly the second option or a place holder.

No. 512703

No, it's fine. She took them for 3 months and lost about 40kg I think (she was about 100kg before) but she looked increasingly sick and had like I said really bad loose skin everywhere. After a while of taking the pills she had occasional heart rythm disruptions, nausea, strong headaches and sometimes chest pain. About half an hour before her stroke, she told me she didn't feel well, so she layed down on the couch and fell seemingly asleep. I only noticed something was wrong after she made really weird noises (like loud snoring, moaning and wheezing/suffocating at the same time), I couldn't get her to wake up even with forces and she was limb. When the paramedics arrived, they had to reanimate her once. It took 4 days for her to be properly responsive and if I remember it right she stayed 5 weeks in the hospital until she could come home.
Please, please be careful. If you absolutely have to take meds for your diet, listen closely to any sign your body gives and don't ignore it.

No. 512735

I honestly use to use those pills to get high off of, like meth. Please throw them all away anon, they are a drug and get you high. They are horrible pills.

No. 512746

File: 1581122983358.png (32.52 KB, 275x231, 1547436931510.png)

I fucking hate that

I've never been anyone's first choice, my entire life. I remember when I first realized just how little I mean to the people around me. Even my immediate family, I'm not sure they'd want to be around me if they had a choice in who they're related to. I can't form meaningful relationships with anyone in my life, I've never been in love or had friends I could trust, and I find it difficult to care about anyone who isn't me or isn't able to help me get what I want.

No. 512755

Any former friends who could put a good word in for you at a potential new job?

No. 512757

File: 1581125994767.jpeg (199.63 KB, 1843x1749, F98ED77F-515C-451F-9AD3-3AAEC1…)

I’m turning 30 this year and I’ve never had a boyfriend
I can’t even get my tinder dates to go on a second date or try for something casual, let alone anything resembling a relationship
Literally everyone I know found a loving and dedicated and frankly handsome bf through apps, chance etc.:..even with different situations like having kids or being poly or what not. Maybe moving to Southern California wasn’t the best idea.
I know I shouldn’t be insecure about it but I also feel like If I turn thirty alone I might end it. My mom is going to die in a few years and I’ll just have a brother and a sister. That’s it. And they both live in different states. I’m so lonely. Sorry for brick of text.

No. 512759

You go on tinder dates though. That is ballsy. I'd keep that up cause that will lead to something. Keyword something.

No. 512761

I ended up deleting all the apps, they were making things ten times worse for my self esteem unfortunately. I know I’ve probably made my chances of meeting someone minuscule now but eh

No. 512766

I don't see anything unusual with being single at 30 tbh. In fact I think women tend to be at their best in their 30s. My 20s have been dirt. Failed relationships with low value males when I was a pickme, shit ass jobs where I was low paid and stressed, horrible self-esteem, instabilities and strife in general, etc.
The point being you'll be in a more balanced and leveled position to seek out a relationship during those years, don't fret. You seem like a person with some self-awareness so surely you'll be making some good choices for yourself. Me? I'm looking forward to my 30s and establishing myself even further.

Being alone is rough, but don't judge your value based on Tinder or dating apps as a whole. Like another anon said, you've got a lot of spunk for putting yourself out there like that in the first place. More importantly, Tinder isn't exactly regaled as being a place for men with morals and high value. There's a lot of trash on there. I bet those men saw that you had standards and expectations, and that's what got them sweating because they're so used to coolgirls being chill with whatever.

When a man wants you, you will know. You won't have to chase or ask. In the meantime, don't let those men who didn't see your worth occupy space in your head. You keep looking forward and keep your eyes on the prize.

No. 512767

Have you tried long-form dating stuff like e-harmony or Match? I keep thinking that is what i'm going to try so I'd love to hear stories about that. You see such cute profiles on there sometimes.

No. 512798

File: 1581134881730.jpg (24.55 KB, 494x494, CKIbhFCUEAASrqU.jpg)

My boyfriend knows I have intense drug issues (OD'd on opiates, tried crack, used to get high off OTC meds every day) but still bought us a vape pen. I really like it but I know like… I shouldn't? It feels like I'm going backwards in recovery, especially because the high from this reminds me of the OTC I used to abuse. It helps me with my other disorders and calming down but it feels really wrong.

No. 512801

Stupid boyfriend pissed me off today. I ask him for a cup of water before, and as he comes back into the room, he goes to the bathroom that is connected to our room and takes a piss. I start freaking and I ask him if he brought it into the bathroom, he jokes around and say yes, I freak out even harder and once he done, he brings the cup and puts on the nightstand. I told him that I wasn't going to drink it because I'm freaking about it being in the bathroom. I get up and dump it out in the sink, and I'm still freaking out, back in bed, upset, he tells me he didn't and he was just playing with me. I'm even more upset, and tells me to quit acting like a spazz, this after I told him how I've been thinking of killing myself as of lately BECAUSE of my mental illnesses.

What the heck, I'm thinking about leaving him because of this. I'm so upset.

No. 512802

File: 1581138301279.jpeg (32.61 KB, 749x465, F83BFBBC-682E-4594-BEC4-178D94…)

The love of my life doesn’t want any kids and he might put up with adopted children… fuck fuck fuck. I can’t stop crying, he playfully but roughly jabbed at me about it, and I mentioned that he’s rubbing salt in my wounds and he said,”oh salt in the wounds? It’s that serious? Wow. I was just joking, I didn’t know you felt that way” Afterwards he apologized, but I’m still fucking hurt about it.

No. 512803

why do you have to have to give birth to have kids? nearing 8 billion people on a worsening planet and you're devastated your partner isn't happy to participate in your plans to force another person into being when humans are facing a very frightening existential threat and you can't even guarantee your poor child rudimentary safety or security?

No. 512805

i agree with you but relax, this is the vent thread

No. 512806

imo it’s understandable if somebody doesn’t want to raise another person’s children for so -many- reasons and the overpopulation thing will naturally hit a plateau anyway, look at any first world country.
why doesn’t he want his own kids but is willing to adopt? maybe there’s something he doesn’t want to pass down? keep talking to him about it.

No. 512812

ikr anon? I let the news filter through until it gets to the places I frequent (like here) or not. Like fuck that Megxit stuff, I literally don’t understand why everyone gets so heated about the royal family in modern times when they’ve been irrelevant for the past two decades. Took me a while to realise what the ‘Meg’ stood for.

I read that in the past, the women of royal families would often be the trendsetters of fashion, influencers of their day, and it was such a weird realisation, like of course they would be? But who do we turn to now? idk, actors, who are already being supplanted by random instathots and anyone with a camera.
Back to This Morning, yeah it’s boomer af. I get creeped out by how this kind of """"entertainment"""" feels like I’m being shown things on a conveyer belt then told how to feel about them.

No. 512813

He’s worried about passing down our addictive tendencies, mental disorders, and dementia (on his side). He's also a part of the anti-natalist movement. I really should have known he wasn’t going to get over the issue this quickly. We can talk about anything but this is one topic that gives us major issues.

No. 512816

Wow. That’s why I asked, if I only went by your first post I thought he was just rudely snubbing you over a topic that means a lot to you but he isn’t treading lightly over this either. How do you feel potentially passing on those things?

No. 512818

So, you're telling me he has serious inheritable diseases in his family that could cause your children endless suffering, and he's also ethically opposed to having kids and you're trying to "make him get over this issue", and preferably, quickly? You sound horribly selfish for so many reasons.

No. 512819

I mean I get why anon is upset. When you love someone so much you sometimes wish knowing what your children would look like and hope they turn out okay. Sometimes you don't think about the serious medical issues.

No. 512820

He is completely in his right to not want children for any reason but those are particularly good ones. Do not pressure him into a kid he doesn't want, it's unfair and will probably make you a single parent. Tbh if you don't feel the same that is an irreconcilable difference.

No. 512822

Anon I want kids of my own more then anything else, but I have shit genes and both depression and cancer are super common among my family, my mother and grandfather both died of cancer and I don't ever want that for my kids, I don't want to bring more misery in the world

No. 512823

Date someone else, trying to make someone feel the way you do about something so life changing makes you sound like an idiot.

No. 512827

Trauma has seriously impacted how I become intimate with my boyfriend. We've been dating for over almost 6 years and I still don't allow myself to love him completely. Even when I give him a kiss goodbye when either I or he leaves for work, I wipe my lips clear of his leftover spit because I fear I'm going to be poisoned. This happens on a daily basis. When we have sex and french kiss, I limit the amount of time his tongue touches my tongue for the same reason as a normal kiss. I normally don't like giving him oral sex and I seriously don't want to taste his semen, for the same fear of being poisoned. It just hit me a few days ago I've been doing this for almost 6 years. I've let it affect me for this long. I had a year where I was less fearful with little kisses goodbye, but they started to come back last year.

No. 512829

I decided to get bangs cut n while I love the bangs the hairdresser COMPLETELY fucked up everything else. The right side of my hair is shorter than my left side and the way she thinned it out looks so choppy. I'm so fucking sad I had grown out my hair for 3+ months n now its back to square one and it looks uglier than at the start

No. 512830

I’m annoyed that Taylor Nicole Dean has to act like the authority of drug addiction and recovery, especially as someone who’s struggling with addiction myself. She posts shit constantly that talks about how’s she’s thriving and “recovering” but then post shit like doing shots (alcohol is often a huge trigger for harder drugs, not only for myself but to other former heroin addicts I have talked to) and not wanting to make any actual change to overcome her addiction. Idk I’m normally not the one who goes “Think of the children!” but imagine if one of her followers was also struggling with addiction and looked up to her to relate. Jesus. I don’t want to think about it.

Didn’t want to post in her thread because of blogposting plus I don’t follow her that closely so I would probably just derail it.

No. 512843

It's much better to be seen as a boring, shitbrain human than to share your interests and have other people take ownership of them and present them as their own.

No. 512847

I sort of relate because I have a personality disorder. You have no idea how angry it makes me when a person that I consider shitty, stupid or just bad human being shares my specific and rare interests! It's not as bad as it used to be during my teenage years, but it still happens to me sometimes. I wonder why. Guess I should talk about it with my therapist next week lmfao.
On the other hand, I don't think it's a healthy way of looking at things. After all, it's ridiculous to believe that you are the only one who is worthy of the interest or gets it. Your enjoyment is not any better or more meaningful than someone else's. You do not own anything unless you create it from scratch(and even then some people believe in death of author - still, it's your work so you have more authority than a consumer).
Sorry if I misunderstood your comment and you are talking about something else.

No. 512849

One of my oldest and closest friends has gotten really into dnd. They're good at it - real good, you can tell they spend hours developing their campaign and they talk about their ideas a lot when we meet up, which is nice because they were a bit depressed before and the creative outlet has really done them well. I want to support them.

But I fucking hate playing dnd. It takes hours, our group has expanded so now there's a load of people I don't really know, they drink / smoke a lot which I don't mind but it makes the game even slower. It's boring too, I don't enjoy the roleplay aspect of dnd. But I'm several plays into a (planned to be long) campaign so I don't feel like I can just bail. Fucking hate losing so much of my time to it.

No. 512853

File: 1581161979020.gif (422.41 KB, 245x175, giphy.gif)

A close male friend of mine is a huge fan of Rammstein and can't stop gushing about what an "artistic geniush" Till Lindemann is now when he's published some solo album with tons of music videos to go with. Nothing against the band or the guy, really, but filling your music videos with weird imagery and attractive nude women in BDSM gear and collars is about as interesting as someone posting artistic nudes on DeviantArt.

But of course I can't say that because I'm just gonna get the "bohoo you don't like it because feminism" thrown in my face. Naked women are literally everywhere in media, you don't have to be a feminist to see how unoriginal and boring it is.

No. 512856

Yeah. Takes a toll on your soul though, doesn't it? I feel like I'm using the 'grey rock method' (that abuse avoidance technique) but on my entire life.
That sounds insufferable, I'm also neutral on Rammstein and used to love them as a teenager but hearing my close male friend talk about them too gives me weird vibes for some reason. It might just my distrusting ass wanting to see red flags but I can't tell if he's flexing to look like a special-unique alt tough guy or not.
Tbh I have to side-eye anyone who listens to a genre full of anger and violence and idk why I've come to this opinion after liking metal while growing up but I only listened to shit with angsty/sad lyrics in it anyway

No. 512858

But then again, 'death of the author' is as debatable as the author's ownership it tries to question. Maybe it applies to actual long-dead creators where it's impossible to know what influenced them at the time but it rubs me the wrong way since so many fandom loonies use the argument as an excuse to take a living author's ideas and rip on them because they hate-watch it and such.

No. 512860

No, you're completely right. A lot of it is irrational for the reasons you stated, but it's still so upsetting when it feels like someone is completely encroaching on what you enjoy. It's almost like it's being taken away from you somehow.

No. 512861

Shyness with a resting bitch face is the worst curse.

No. 512862

>I feel like I'm using the 'grey rock method' (that abuse avoidance technique) but on my entire life.
This sums it up perfectly, god. And it really does take a toll. We all like to express ourselves, but it can backfire so fast. It's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.

No. 512870


holy fucking shit anon. i had assumed she used them for a very long time. but just three months?! thats so alarming. i had planned on using for two months but i definitely wont now. thank you for sharing this.

No. 512871

wait do you listen to zeuhl? or are you specifically referring to a quasi-sub-genre of avant-garde jazz that has yodeling, because I listen to all of those

No. 512872

I understand being a little grossed out but I think you're overreacting

No. 512874

if either you two want a friend who cares ill love u 5evr

No. 512884

File: 1581172492955.jpeg (564.77 KB, 828x967, 5824FCBD-F0FE-4D62-ACD9-916338…)

I wish that looking tired was cuter on girls, if that makes sense. I think guys looking tired is seen as attractive and more acceptable, but not on girls. I have dark circles, they're natural and I can only get rid of them with surgery. I hate it.

No. 512888

File: 1581173677663.jpg (74.45 KB, 720x937, rtt7bv8c02611.jpg)

>Tfw my boss who's a total incompetent Idiot inherited that position from her daddu.

apparently her father was a very competent and hardworking man, but her daughter just can't live up to him, bitch was already born a millionaire and had to steal some competent person job on top of that. and the worst thing about my boss is that she presents herself as this "boss bitch" archetype online and IRL.

No. 512891

fuck this i’m so tired of driving an hour and a half to only hang out with my boyfriend for 4 hours when i don’t see him all week literally just one day on the weekend i’m done i’m done. he never comes to see me either granted he’s still in school rn so i get it but still. this morning i have to clean out my car so it’s tidy for him, drive there, drive his ass around to a dinner and a movie that he probably doesn’t even want to go to, then drop him off and drive all the way back home for another hour and a half. he gets to sit around all morning while i get ready to go. all this for a guy who doesn’t even want to hold my hand in public and ghosted me last year to be with some foreign chick but then crawled right back after she cheated on him. and he’s always “teasing” me about things that hurt my feelings. why am i so hard to love? why can’t he just do things for me and show me he loves me? why am i still with this cold guy? loving someone is a curse. but he’s all i have

No. 512893

i'm sorry anon. just because he's all you have doesn't mean you should keep him around. what's the worst that will happen if you don't be with him? you'll elevate your standards and requirements for a new partner, like reciprocation, affection, etc. don't be afraid to ask the world for more

No. 512896

File: 1581176359365.png (111.2 KB, 729x917, shoot.png)

The term "bi lesbian" makes me want to shoot myself in the head.

No. 512898

Sorry for psycho analyzing your good vent but i've found that i sometimes just feel too much for the tired girls, even the cuter ones. With guys, i kinda don't give a shit if they're tired and kinda objectify.

No. 512899

I hope it doesn't become a "thing". There's a reason there's the word bisexual.

Even as a bi myself, shit like this annoys me. We don't need 400 lables for everything.

No. 512901

Why don't they ever dare to say shit like "gay men can be attracted to women." Oh wait it's cause the tranny movement is run by men who get boners from taking over women's spaces, bodies, movements.

Neither they nor the rest of the million-gender freaks seem to ever want to bother(fellow) men, not even when it's about "supporting" trans men.

No. 512904

I held on poop for too long and now I fart blood every time i go to the bathroom.

No. 512911

Anon, your bf is garbage. Find a new, better bf and kick his ass to the curb. You’re literally being treated not only like a second, choice but it sounds like he’s only your bf begrudgingly…when someone he likes better comes along, who says he won’t try to monkey branch again?

No. 512914

What the hell? I posted exactly this like 6 month ago…

No. 512942

I want to start writing again but I feel like I'm too retarded now. My teachers in high school told me I was good at it, I wanted to become a writer, but turned out being some blue coworker who can barley handle adult responsibilities or focus on my hobbies. If I start reading and writing regularly, who knows if I'll be good at it. There's thousands of writers, I'm probably some medicore fuck and nothing compared to the majority. I want to write to rekindle my love for it but idk most days I feel so negative about everything I do.

No. 512944

Realising more and more that I'm a crazy bitch. I get jealous when friends hang out without me, I feel like I'm missing out. I've become more and more shut in as well, I only go outside if it's necessary. My therapist isn't seeing me until 4 months and I have no one to talk about how im feeling because i feel so toxic n gross. Might end up offing myself at this rate. I've started on medication, I've quit my bad habits, I'm going to the gym but I feel emptier than when i began

No. 512950

Saturday is almost over and I've just spent it feeling stressed and sad and shitty, there are multiple things I feel bad about and I don't feel like talking about it is even going to help atm, although I have nobody to talk to anyway right now. I don't even know what to do to feel better, I don't feel like doing anything I just feel so stuck and shitty now like I just want to cry and stop breathing

No. 512954

>opened up to my bf that I was touched by older men as a child
>he asked what happened
>I said I'm not comfortable talking about that
>he then acts like he's the one who needs comforting
>acts really weird about it
>says goodnight suddenly, acts very cold but says he's not mad

I know it's not a nice thing to be told, but his reaction just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm still confused by it. Obviously he's upset by what happened to me, but I'm confused as to why he didn't immediately comfort me or something? I don't know if I'm the one in the wrong here. I don't want to hide a part of my past around the guy who I thought I'd get married to, and I didn't just say it out of the blue to be attention seeking or something. I'm just really confused. Maybe I'm just being autistic.

No. 512970

Every time I see some post about how "I asked a friend/mom who knows almost nothing about X character to name these characters.", it's clearly just OP whose unfunny as fuck, every time. Please stop, your personality hasn't evolved since middle school and it's obvious to everyone.

No. 512976

What a selfish motherfucker. I'm sorry you got that in return.

No. 512982

Don't take it as red flag just yet. Men are emotionally retarded and he probably doesn't know what to say or do. You said that he's visibly upset so maybe he's having difficulty expressing how he actually feels.

The same thing happened to me when I told my then boyfriend now husband that I had been physically abused abused as a child. He asked me a few questions, said he was sorry and left. I didn't see him for a few days after that. I think he asked his mother for advice on how to handle it.

No. 512987

I used to this was manosphere incel bullshit but I’m really starting to think that social media is turning any conventionally attractive female into a retarded zombie narcissist via the path of least resistant. 95% of attractive girls I know just drift through live because they’re cute, at the expensive of putting in the real work of developing any skills, intelligence or their personality while simultaneously being extremely annoying and entitled. I’m ashamed of myself for this but I’m running several d-day clocks counting down in my head until certain girls I know hit 30 and their looks start degrading.

No. 512989

you are absolutely not the one in the wrong in any regard. when a close family member of mine opened up to me about her sexual abuse i was immediately emotionally wrecked by it, but my instant reaction was to want to comfort her in any way i could. same when my partner told me he'd been molested. the fact that he cared more about how it made him feel is honestly disgusting, but as >>512982 said its kind of not shocking for a male to act that way. i still dont think male stupidity is an excuse for how he treated you though.

im genuinely really sorry that was the reaction you received when you opened up in a vulnerable way. i hope he takes time to process it and actually gives you some support and comfort. and that he apologizes for responding so weirdly in the first place.

No. 512990

Women and young girls (16 and above) should never under in any circumstance send nudes. We all make mistakes but holy fuck, in 2020 we should learn by now that it's bad to do so. Unless you get paid thousands of dollars, don't fucking do it.

I have a friend who is addicted to sending nudes and she can't literally stop.

No. 512992

People will accuse you of victim blaming but it's the truth. Young women need to realize that they have no control over those images after they hit send and men trade nudes like fucking pokemon cards. Unless you have no issue with who sees them it's easier to avoid the risks by not sending them out in the first place.

Sidenote but it's disgusting how society is very predatory when it comes to leaked nudes and sex tapes. It's a huge invasion of privacy to seek out stuff that's nonconsensually leaked.

No. 512994

I have really low empathy and this is how I react to people opening up to me. Usually people with low emotional intelligence wouldn't want to be comforted in a similar situation so when THEY are the ones who are supposed to do the comforting, they become confused and uncomfortable. In a similar situation I didn't comfort my friend when she confessed about some childhood trauma to me because my first instinct was "touching her right now would be inappropriate". after processing it on my own I followed up with her and offered support, and apologized. anyway, you're not in the wrong, anon. he's the one being autistic if anything. he just (hopefully) needs time to process things. if he just ignores it and sweeps it under the rug, that's when he goes from being emotionally retarded to just being an asshole.

No. 513018

the fact that next summer is closer to us than last summer is mind fucking me so hard right now. literally where did the time go?

No. 513025

I heard from a teacher that there were cases in her district involving 4th graders either sending or being propositioned to send nudes.

I still think about some I sent to foreign internet strangers as a teen. I used to worry and feel shame, but these days, I don’t care. I’m just happy to have developed much healthier habits regarding promiscuity in recent years so I’m not going into a new decade as a pick me.

No. 513034

My grandmother was in a abusive relationship, she took beatings from an alcoholic husband. She was timid and frail around him. So she beat my mother and his brother instead, broke my uncle's nose when he was a child, threw plates at my mother anytime she was disrespectful. now this woman wants to recconnect and apologize after all the abuse, like really my mother and uncle still have the scars(physical and psychological) from the abuse she inflicted, like I understand she had a horrible life but beating your children is never justifiable

No. 513042

>I’m just happy to have developed much healthier habits regarding promiscuity in recent years so I’m not going into a new decade as a pick me.
OP here, good on you. Same for me, I don't need men anymore.

No. 513056

This reminds me of those god awful times back in 2013-2014 in Facebook
Where my "friends" all under 18 where posting public photos either scantily clad or fully naked and where competing with each other to get the most likes,I was such a stupid teen to not ever delete my Facebook sooner,I saw the most fucked up shit ever I still remember the "purge" shit on Facebook back in 2014


No. 513110

I’m sorry that happened to your mom and uncle and I’m sorry your family is going through that right now. Regardless of what happens, I wish your family well.

No. 513114

How can you get addicted to sending nudes? Jesus…

Anyway, did that once and I regretted it. The guy who I sent it to tried to hit me up on OKC recently and I recoiled in horror. I don’t get why people do so unless it’s a long term relationship.

No. 513116

>How can you get addicted to sending nudes? Jesus…
endorphine/dopamine rush and low self esteem. human brain can get addicted to anything so don't judge others that easily.

No. 513140

What's it like having low empathy? Are your own emotions dulled by any measure? Is it a constant "gives zero fucks"? Does it ever give you difficulty in socializing?

No. 513147

My mom woke me up at fucking 5:30 in the morning after I stayed up until 1 AM working on homework. It was over a goddamn scam ad for a $1000 Wal-Mart gift card. She woke me up way too goddamn early for an ad you see EVERYWHERE online. FUUUUUUUCCKK

No. 513166

If the girl with glasses got this to say to her as the most painful thing she ever was told, she needs to grow a spine. Why did they even put this in when they found a guy who was told he has only 3 months to live? googles to see if it's not fake

No. 513181

embed the video and timestamp

No. 513187

File: 1581268396014.png (225.66 KB, 434x457, i am tired.png)

Why must all guys with an enthusiasm for history (ESPECIALLY ww2 military history) be so scummy/shitty/misogynistic?
Scratch that, that was a rhetorical question - liking guns/warfare history will do that to you, because you already have an interest in something that obviously puts you in a position of power and also causes people suffering. But can males really not be interested in things like these and understand that, actually, war was never 'cozy' or an event of 'banding together in brotherly love', and you should really detach yourself from the seductive illusion of 'hanging out in the trenches with the boys' or shit like that? I swear, they can never look outside their feelings and take a glance at history with an objective standpoint. If they're going to be interested, they HAVE to be a fascist/racist/hateful in some way.
I've never seen this problem manifest in women - if they do happen to be interested in this specific facet of history, somehow they have the capacity to understand that history shouldn't be repeated. War isn't fun. They're also more likely to have a wider scope of knowledge on civilian life, ordinary things in history - fashion, food, the social order, the mentality of the period. Which, in my opinion, gives you a better impression about living in the past - battles and political skirmishes consisted about 5% of 95% of the world population's lives.
It really sucks, because I'm excited to find a guy to sperg about these kinds of things with and we'll have a good laugh, and after that, i quickly realize - whoops, he's another autistic creep who 100% unironically ascribes to [insert extremist pro-violence ideology here].
I fucking love history, but I've yet to find a guy who shares my interests and isn't completely and utterly toxic.

men are fucking dumb.

No. 513195

Idk if my bf has an ego problem or is just stupid sometimes I stg

No. 513196

File: 1581269749953.jpg (37.91 KB, 348x254, visit01[1].jpg)

I already posted this in another thread but one of my genral rules is to avoid men that are too into WW2/Roman History, If thier into world history its fine as long its not just WW2, but if their in to anything written by Will and Ariel Durnat then you've find a keeper, the Durant's give a nuanced portrayal of history and always mention the status of women/Influential women for every civilization they discuss

No. 513197

my ex best friend and my first love called me a bunch last night and left a drunk voicemail where she meant to call a different friend who has a really similar name to mine. I assume she was too drunk to see the contact name difference between mine and her friends, and that really fucking hurts lmao. I just texted back and told her wrong number. I’m surprised she even still has my contact after the really horrible end we had, and it’s been like two years since I saw her or talked to her. just wish she didn’t rip open the scab like that, even though I know it was an accident.

No. 513200

Have a hug from me anon, I'm really sorry that happened to you! Just distract yourself and try not to listen to it.

No. 513211

Guys I'm losing it. My department is all run by libfems. I searched one of my teachers up and she's deep into the twitter libfem hell hole.. legit makes me not wanna choose that major….
why are young women so susceptible to this bs?

No. 513213

I don't have any friends and me and my bf just broke up and I have some other things on my mind that I'm really stressed and anxious and upset about and I don't know how to deal with everything I feel absolutely horrible there's nothing good in my life right now

No. 513216

i don't like listening to or helping people with their problems (though I'll usually at least attempt to because that's the way I was socialized, I'd have been the biggest asshole if I was raised male lol). I usually process my emotions in private so when people are emotional in front of me I get nervous. I do have a hard time socializing sometimes because at this point I've acknowledged I make for a bad friend – I've never had a serious bf and I've stopped attempting to make close friends, but in terms of coworkers and stuff I tend to get along with everybody because people know they can't come to me to vent but that also means they can't come to me to gossip, so nobody associates me with workplace drama. In terms of my emotions being dulled, I never feel that happy or that sad (movies can make me cry very easily but not books, and not real life situations) but I laugh and feel frustrated pretty easily.

No. 513223

Why not join a discord group or go on /g/'s friend finder? I can talk to you, if you'd like

No. 513230

I tried but I don't often truly connect with people, conversations always stop at some point, and I also admit that sometimes especially these days I don't have the mental energy to think of a reply to someone and especially when I'm feeling shitty I find it hard to find the motivation and energy to talk to people I'm not already close with. I guess not having friends is partially my fault

No. 513234

Murrican before anyone asks. I'm trying to get off my Verizon plan that my parents bullied me into having since I was a teen because the monthly is $90. I'm trying to switch to straight talk because theirs is $55 unlimited and uses the same towers.
There's unlocked phones on ebay that are cheaper than buying a phone from straight talk, but I've been waffling over it for the past 3 hours because I have anxieties about spending money and encountering obstacles. I'm so afraid I'll get the phone and run into problems trying to activate it. Because I want to port my old number as well.
There's a lot of steps to this process and it's really overwhelming.

I have so much shit I should be trying to get done but instead I'm wasting time on the computer, getting distracted, and refreshing. Gah.

No. 513314

I fucking hate my spotify username, it's literally my name combined with the word stupid. I made it in 2014 based on an inside joke and it needs to stop now. I can't change my username so I essentially need to make a whole new account. I don't want to lose everything though. Also, trying to apply my student discount on a new account will probably not work. Fuck me.

No. 513330

File: 1581289830168.png (184.67 KB, 640x511, B214E5AC-85C1-46AA-898F-121EE8…)

Anyone else really fucking tired of being a people pleaser? It’s ingrained in my soul and disappointing people or even getting a slightly negative reaction or not doing everything I can for someone I don’t even know is almost physically painful. I’m sick of being this way I just want to tell people to fuck off…but I won’t lol

No. 513332

I was just thinking about this today.

No. 513343

You really are stupid

No. 513346

I broke down crying in the middle of a restaurant today and i’m so fucking embarrassed. I honestly just want to drop dead, ive had the shittiest week, year, everything. I’m just so done, whenever I think things are starting to look up shit hits the fan and I realize how shitty my life and I am. I just want to die or disappear, I don’t care at this point. Currently crying in a bathroom floor, I hate being such an embarrassing mess.

No. 513365

No offense, but are you really young? I used to be like this but my ability to give a fuck has just slowly worn thin.

No. 513369

I know it's not the same but if you make another e-mail and your lists public, you can follow the lists trough another account. That's what I did when I closed my fb.

No. 513372

I just had my baby and I was so shocked at how quickly I lost weight, I’m not as skinny as I was before pregnancy but I’m still way smaller,
anyways my bf called me fat and I feel very insecure I bet you if I were one of his porno bitches he’s love my body.

No. 513373

I usually speak in a vague way so many things are just guessed, and people go with the most likely assumption, which is wrong sometimes because I end up associated with crowds I hate. I can't blame them, but I also can't give too many details because there's it doesn't matter in the long run, and I often to the same to others.

No. 513377

that's really fucked up.

No. 513378

File: 1581301709237.gif (2.49 MB, 480x480, Mfw.gif)

>he calls you fat and watches porn
And this is why you don't procreate with losers.

No. 513388

File: 1581303929796.jpg (26.65 KB, 578x614, 2QZc1s4hbvyo40.jpg)

you mean ex bf, right?

No. 513390

This has to be bait…a man who expects you to be pregnant has to also expect you to gain some weight and for that weight to take time to lose. You need to choose your mates better, you know they exist right?

No. 513392

Found out that this guy I talk to to online /likes/ me. We’re friends, and I don’t like him in any other way other than that. Besides, even if I did, online-long distance relationships really aren’t my thing
He hasn’t told me yet, but I know he’s planning to. At some point. He’s the kind of person to always say ‘I have a question to ask…’ but it’s always some mundane thing. He’s going to spring it on me and I won’t even realise before the truth bites me in the ass. It’s gonna be awkward. I don’t even think there’s a way to both reject his feelings and keep the friendship that same.

No. 513394

Lmao I really like your writing style anon, you're great. Honestly I agree so much, I did a degree in Japanese and had to do quite a lot of history, which was one of the best parts tbh. I'm fucking sick of scrots pontificating about "how you can't separate cultural history from political history!!" and shit as if they're so much more intelligent for jerking off to samurai and the warring states period meanwhile I'm here obsessing over Heian era court ladies writing gossip and the clothes they wore. I think because history teaching is always so focused on wars and dates it puts a lot of young kids off history because they aren't interested in kings and battles. Sad, really.

No. 513396

Don't anticipate him asking you, it gives him too much power if he senses that you know he likes you. Act completely indifferent to that idea and keep things on a friends level. Also long distance never works, you need to fuck someone in real life to have a relationship.

No. 513421

Not saying I'd ever kill myself, cause I'm pretty sure this is our only shot and the thought of returning to nothingness is a bit spooky in addition to suicide as a concept spooking me too.
Buuuuuuuut I'm just saying, I wouldn't be mad if I got into a freak accident or if someone else accidentally killed me or some shit. Like if I died in my sleep in such a way that I'd just never wake up again. I'm not very interested in living. I'd love for something or someone else to remove my choice and take the burden off me. There's something oddly freeing in that, to me.

No. 513424

Is it bad of me to burst into tears whenever my boyfriend raises his voice at me? I have several severe disorders along with history of abuse. It scares me so bad and then he gets frustrated over me making him the bad guy.. I know I do annoying stuff but me missing a scene in a shower because my ADHD is zoning out looking at something doesn't feel worth yelling at me over…. unless it is. idk.

No. 513425

Everything single interaction I have with anyone is so fake. It's exhausting. I'm afraid I'm never going to find another person I don't have to pretend around. True love is really so fucking rare and I'm not talking about romantic love, if you have that person who makes you feel like you're home with them, please appreciate it while you can.

No. 513426

The black girl that was called n*gger? That seems pretty hurtful, especially for a kid.

No. 513427

I mean it depends on a lot: how often do you zone out, does he raise his voice at you every time, how does he treat you otherwise, are you getting help, etc. My boyfriend has ADHD and before he got medicated he used to zone out and ignore me all the time and it made me feel like shit. Sometimes I'd lose my patience- it isn't limitless. If that's the only bad thing about him I would talk to him about it.

No. 513428

No one has the right to yell at you. It's abusive . You have certain issues , yes but no civilised person needs to vent anger at you over those issues . Next time he raises his voice at you , look him in the eye and tell him that it isn't you that he is angry at but whoever it is that gave him permission to speak to people like that . Be strong anon.

No. 513436

I love my brother but he is SO so god damn immature. Throws tantrums the moment something doesn't go his way. No critical thinking skills what so ever, let's things that literally have nothing to do with him make him so angry and takes it out on us. Screams really far-leftist, anti-social, cringe political crap in public when drunk, Just comes over and lays there on the couch all day (so I can't ever just relax on my days off from work) and you can't say a word to him or he gets triggered and you'll set him off. No job. No license. My dad is his maid, chef and personal uber driver. He's 27 soon and has the emotional capacity of a 15 year old. I feel like SO many families have this exact situation. It's really an epidemic.

No. 513442

>dad is gravely ill
>inquire whether or not he has the coronavirus with my mom while we're out shopping
>"nah, idk what he has but it's not that because he doesn't seem sick enough"
Ok miss "I'm a doctor" what do I know, I'm just a technology gal.
She's also constantly puking and the smell is disgusting.

No. 513444

Are you in China? If not its probably not Corona, if you are in China please don't travel.

No. 513447

You need to get treatment, anon.

No. 513449

>Also long distance never works, you need to fuck someone in real life to have a relationship.
It works if you make an effort to meet irl as often as your money allows you and to make it your goal to end the long distance relationship and turn it into a normal one. But you got to be really persistent and have to really want it.

No. 513451

I can't believe there's still women getting insecure about this stuff

We have a long way to

No. 513454

Fucking perverted weebs piss me off. I can barely find good Japanese learning channels on Youtube besides women. Majority of the men I tried watching eventually reveal their degeneracy of watching hentai as a source of "learning the language".

No. 513463

Do men actually find plastic surgery sexy though? It seems more of a competition between women thing than a way to get men to like you. Plenty of men will fuck you au natural if you're at least a little attractive.

No. 513464

I'm that anon.

Yes, men have nothing to do with it.

No. 513465

File: 1581333021617.jpeg (238.29 KB, 1067x738, 667420BE-C047-436E-A08A-483C99…)

No one will ever make me feel the way 2D does… what bliss, what despair! Perfect and eternal, as God herself.

No. 513473

I think my friends take me for granted too much. I’m not someone who likes to hang out very much, so when I do I’d like to think they’re having fun with me but that doesn’t happen. They always make me feel as if I’m boring or a nuisance and when I try to ask why they treat me as if I’m crazy for thinking this way. Then why would they invite me to their plans?

No. 513474

source of the pic?

No. 513475

From the josei manga Tokyo Tarareba Girls! 10/10 recommended

No. 513478

The sock pattern I'm designing is becoming too difficult and I want to whine and smoke weed instead of finishing it. I just might! I have no idea how people like a thousand years ago designed such intricate patterns and designs. History and women's work is fucking crazy, I have no idea how someone just started doing nålbrinding one day and shit started there. Oldschool crochet is really neat too especially when you can compare Japanese crochet to Irish crochet and imagine that they're using identical tools. Really fucks me up. Tatting is beautiful, too. Especially as an edging piece or as a motif. Idk, I wish there was a big guild near my house for fabric art because I'd go there just to drool and cry. Also I wish I had cat ears, I'd volunteer for exploratory surgery to get my cat ear dream. Fuck.

No. 513488

All my friends bore me to death.

No. 513489

I'm so sick of my insecure friend taking her shit out on me. Everything causes her to have a fit.

Last time we went out to eat I said I was gonna skip dessert because I was full and she threw the menu on the floor and said I was making her feel guilty for wanting dessert.

Another time we were on the subway and I got up when an old woman got on so she could have my seat. My friend proceeds to have a go at me for making her look stupid because she chose not to get up and felt self-conscious about taking up more than one seat.

Last time she had one of these fits I told her she needs to stop projecting her own insecurities on to me and she eventually admitted she does do that and then said she does it because she trusts me not to judge her like other people do, so she feels safe doing it with me. I am not your fucking therapist and I am not your fucking safe space to use and abuse when you feel like getting a "safe" ego boost. Fuck off.

No. 513497

I feel you.

No. 513504

NTA but learn to love yourself, anon. Tell yourself as often as possible, "I love myself!". Make it a routine. Wake up in the morning, "I love myself." About to eat a meal, "I love myself." Saw yourself in the mirror, "I love myself." Thought of something funny, "I love myself." Honestly, no matter how forced you sound, this will help you feel more self confident. I hope everything else is alright. Please take care. Social media only shows you what people want you to see. Not everything is picture perfect.

No. 513505

File: 1581343830580.jpeg (210 KB, 1280x960, 32DC1317-5284-42A2-BE6C-C5A37A…)

i want people to like me and to initiate contact with me, i want a boy friend and to be socially successful, please i want to be loved and appreciated
cant believe we re going to have 14 feb AGAIN

No. 513509

I feel this vibe.
I'd been going on dates with this guy since the beginning of January but I don't think he's gonna ask me out for Friday if he hasn't already yet. Which hurts my feelings because he hinted at gifts last date. The dates we went on were always nice, like he'd pick me up, pay, and the places we went to were thoughtful.

Yet I'm starting to think I was just an option all along. Him texting me fizzled out weeks ago, and I refuse to always initiate and chase. The last text I both initiated and replied last was on last Sunday soooooo yeah. Feels bad. Last year I briefly dated a psycho from October to January. He manhandled me on NYE but he gaslit me into taking him back. When I did that, he was violent with me again and when I put my foot down he broke up with me like a week before Valentine's Day.
I haven't had much luck, but at least I'm not kowtowing to men just to say I have a date.

No. 513522

File: 1581347245392.jpeg (295.14 KB, 1242x2208, 69A0551E-2CE8-476C-BD2E-CA75E2…)

I’m petty but she literally asked 8 times for pictures of the book pages and was ignored bc it’s week 5 and she doesn’t have the only book we need. she asks weekly and literally begs every time. later someone finally sends them to her then she has the nerve to ask for people’s notes on the book. The passage is only 11 pages and she can do it herself. This is a 4000 level class btw and she wants to be spoon fed. She doesn’t have a disability but said her hands hurt when she writes so she gets to use her laptop. Her typing is so loud that it’s comical and I’m always thinking that she has to be trying to make people laugh but she’s fr so detached. She cuts off the professor every five minutes with stuff that isn’t relevant to what we’re learning. Also, when other people are participating she has to be a contrarian every single time and intervene to say “actually I think it’s the opposite” just to be a contrarian, no other reason. then that steals the conversation from the other person. Bitch I’m tryna learn

No. 513523

I wish I could just be normal in a relationship, I don't know why I flip the fuck out as soon as I'm committed to someone.

Like, when I'm single I'm great. I love going out, meeting people, if I see an attractive girl I'm just like "good for her, she looks lovely". I don't really pay attention to men or think about a BF much so I'll get into a relationship every few years when the stars align. When I'm single I'm quietly confident about myself, my looks, my abilities.

Then I get into a relationship and I turn into this fucking pickmeisha! Every woman who'd fit the bill to be attractive for my bf I'm seething with jealousy and filled with hate for them. I try and find every which way I could maybe be better than them to feel not so threatened. I want them to just stop existing. What I know of my BF, he won't cheat. I trust him 100%. Even when I feel jealousy at its strongest, I know that. But the feeling doesn't go. I keep ruminating.

He went to hang out with a very casual group of friends and many people bailed to the point that it ended up being just him and the ONE girl I am so fucking jealous of because she shares all the same hobbies he does that I could never and won't ever get into. And she's very attractive in a different way to me. When I tell you I felt SICK. I just blurted out that that made me really uncomfortable. And now? He's promised he won't hang out with just her alone again. And I didn't say that he could and it's fine, because I'm secretly extremely relieved he's OK with doing that. A couple of times a day I want to tell him it's OK because I feel guilty and it's the decent thing to do, but when I get close to it I think of how relieved I feel that it's a guarantee and I won't need to think about it so I stay quiet.

Like it's not fair on him, it's all on me, and I wish I wasn't like this. It's emotionally taxing and stressful and I want to stop. It's not fair that he does a completely innocuous, innocent thing and receives this blowback. And I am sick of hiding that I become so dependent, clingy and controlling from all my friends who know me as a chill, laid back and positive person.

I really want to keep this bf, and also make myself better. Thing is last time I was single for ages and I functioned well on my own I thought I fixed it, apparently not. I'm taking small steps to be less clingy, jealous or controlling and I think I start to get better then an event like what I mentioned happens (or even somethig less) and I'm back to being this pathetic beta worrying about whether my bf finds me boring/unattractive etc.

You might not believe it, but generally I'm good with realistic expectations and people being their own person and me respecting and accepting that with ease. But a bf? All goes out the window. You'd think I was 16 with this lack of emotional control but I'm nearing fucking 30 and I'm sick of it and get more sick of it every time a non-event happens and I feel like throwing up because I'm so threatened. Bf is meeting up with that group again the coming week and I've worried about that happening again on average for an hour a day.

Why does any bf become my whole world, despite me being a pretty interesting person? God I need help but I don't know where to start.

No. 513526

I think someone I've known since I was 5 years old is secretly in love with me. now I want to die.

No. 513528

Qinniart died and I've been crying all morning since I found out. She was my favorite internet artist and a huge influence on me. I'm glad she's not suffering anymore, but it's so awful that she's gone.

No. 513534

What? You’re not me. I’m >>512185
Unless you’re talking about >>513451
then sorry hehe

No. 513536

Date someone with no friends who'd like your possessiveness

No. 513542

> You'd think I was 16 with this lack of emotional control but I'm nearing fucking 30

> Why does any bf become my whole world

Sounds very similar to what people with bpd experience, the clingy behaviour, jealousy, feeling mentally healthy while single but struggling in relationships

No. 513545

Hoping this is sarcasm

No. 513551

Maybe it's just me but I also wouldn't feel comfortable with my bf hanging out alone with another woman either. Not to say that I would be seething mad and threatened, but I do find that inappropriate and it would raise my eyebrow. If it became a pattern I'd lay down my boundary about it.

Anon have you ever considered that your gut is correct on certain things, but your mind just gets ahead of itself? Yeah you shouldn't have gone off if it was the only time it's happened so far and things started as a group, but you would be correct in how you felt if he made this a routine.
I'm just trying to say that when your instinct tells you something it might be true but you've gotta properly assess the situation before you act. Try writing out your jealous and upset feelings sometime, sit on your thoughts for a few days, and then go back and read them as if you were reading a vent post here. It might give you some more objectivity if you promise yourself that you'll think about things first.

No. 513558

File: 1581353419870.jpeg (6.97 KB, 267x189, 0039FJJJFQACC.jpeg)

Are you me? I'm struggling so much with jealousy now that we've hit the one year mark, I used to be le cool cool gf, but now I'm miserable and insecure and I'm taking it out on him, I sperged just a few days ago about some hot chick he was pining after before we dated and he very unfollowed her on instagram and blocked her on fb which made me feel even more unhinged.
I've also started rejecting him sexually, because I convinced myself that he really wants to fuck other girls and is using me for convenience.
I genuinely don't know what's going on.

No. 513561

My boss is the kind of person who’s always asking our opinions about work and how to make it feel better but he gets pretty angry when we make a critic, even if it’s constructive.
My theory is that he knows his workplace isn’t good but refuses to admit it. It’s like he’s predicting how he would have to close if things stay like this and when people like us tell something which can be improved, he goes mad crazy because deep inside he knows it’s the truth.
Right now he kept questioning what a coworker said because he couldn’t accept that the hours we’re opening are kind of strange. If you’re going to ask for an opinion, you should be open to accept them, specially if we’re not saying it make it hurt or something, just to get better ffs

No. 513562

>I've also started rejecting him sexually, because I convinced myself that he really wants to fuck other girls and is using me for convenience
you might wanna have to him about that

No. 513602

Does anyone else experience rudeness or condescension when trying to talk with staff at obgyn offices?
I'm just trying to get some information on a lab procedure to see if it's necessary for me to retake it again or not, because the lab I'm wanting to retest with is more specific than what they gave me initially. So if they're not gonna test what I need I'm gonna cancel the appointment so I can spare my money. It's expensive and a waste of my time otherwise. It could be bad for my health if I put off this issue and not get answers.

I was hoping I could just call and speak to someone. On the letter for my lab it gives me the number to call for questions. I thought it would be as simple as looking in their computers and give me the name of the type of lab they do for retest. I had left a message on their answering machine yesterday no one called me back. So I initiated another phone call today in the afternoon while at work.

I gave my spiel to the lady that answered and she told me she couldn't advise me of anything but that she'd "transfer me" to someone who could. Well all she did was transfer me to a dead line that rung out and ended with the same automation telling me the hours and number I just called.
Okay, so I called back again and I got a different lady who had this tone of superiority in her voice like I was some hypochondriac malingerer trying to bother her ass. I told her how minutes prior I was transferred by a different employee but she acted annoyed as if I had made it up just to try to get someone else. She sounded so irritated that I didn't know how things worked for them. I mentioned how I had left a voicemail yesterday but she corrected me that in fact it could take over 48 hours for them to get back to me so I'd just have to wait…and like? Y'all don't say this on the lab letter. You don't say "Don't call us. Leave a voicemail only. We might get back to you later." It just says "Call if you have questions." She put in the request and probably wrote a bunch of passive aggressive remarks about me being impatient or something.

It gets me because it's petty. I've worked frontline call centers too, and I've had to deal with verbal abuse and pushy people over their products getting delayed by 30 minutes. Why am I being treated like a piece of shit for daring to be proactive about my health and wanting some information? It could mean the difference between normalcy or major health issues, but of course I'm treated like I'm bitching about the wrong toppings on a pizza.

No. 513603

You remind me of someone… whatever. People like you are incredibly toxic.

No. 513604

The receptionist at my first OBGYN was so unnecessarily rude too. I called to make an appointment (because that's how it is for all of my other doctors) and she said "Is this your first time here?" and I said "no it isn't" and she said in the rudest tone "Well then you should know we're walk in only!" but the only other time I went was my first time and I walked in then because my mom (who recommended this obgyn to me) told me to. The doctors were all male and condescending and refused to let me get the IUD and even lied to me that my insurance wouldn't cover it.

I looked up this obgyn online and almost every single review is about how the receptionist is rude and petty as fuck so I decided to change obgyns. My new one is with the same health group that my primary doctor is with and the staff is so incredibly nice and they have a lot of various doctors under them so I can always see someone with little wait time if I'm not particularly picky. I'm very happy that they let me specifically have a female obgyn too. They weren't assholes about letting me get an IUD and assured me that it would 100% be covered by my insurance (which it was).

No. 513618

My friend was cat sitting for me a couple months back and fed my cat cheap wet food as a treat (she thought she was doing something nice.) It turned my cat into a crazy food driven monster for weeks. He wouldn't touch his vet food, it was a nightmare.

So everything was back to normal until last night when I bought some yogurt. I snapped off one of the cups, opened the foil lid and my cat went crazy. I realize it sounds exactly like the package of that cheap ass food. He won't eat his regular food again!!! Stubborn little shit.

No. 513619

bleh i mean if i kill myself it's not like it matters, i don't have any family whatsoever. not that i have friends but friends are a meme, superficial allies and the meaningless interactions that come along with them are not an absolute necessity for me (but that's because i have so little and because I've accomplished nothing but failures). i wasn't ever aware of the meaning of living (not even life), that I admit. i think i never understood this world even a little bit and would say my conscousness is on par with a 13 year old who doesn't skip classes, otherwise i wouldn't be so damn depressing e.g. or an easy one: type like a retard. i'm more calm than ever but all i just want is to slit my wrists open and die more than ever so i can do myself, not the world, a favor. my gp hates me so i won't ask him to an hero. Thank god I don't have children, jeez, I know lots of stupid people like me reproduced but that doesn't mean I should participate in this mess. I'm probably not fertile anyways since I missed a lot of periods though in my mental break down I bled like a bitch for one day A LOT and then it stopped.

/vent (don't want to actually publish this now anymore, but it's been logged anyways.

on another note, fuck whoever participated in making me like the wreck i am now, hope you and whoever you love and that loves you kys too. i mean i'm now a demonic idiot moron but i used to be innocent and dindu, how could people, GROWN PEOPLE, have hurt me even at that time? When I'm dead I can't care anymore about that tho anymore LOL.

No. 513620

Honestly guys I don't think you are in the wrong about worrying. Like, I've been the other girl, it's disgusting how shameless some men can be. There was this one dude that wouldn't stop texting me and sending me voice messages telling me his whole fucking week and expected me to reply, while having a gf, constantly made plans with me and other people but more than once when I actually went to the place to meet them it turned out that "suddenly" everyone bailed and it was just me and him alone going to eat or whatever. I couldn't believe this fucking shit.

Then in one of those few "accidental" dates we were talking about literally whatever, I don't fucking remember well at all but it wasn't remotely related to what it came next, but he suddenly spits something about that one time he had a threesome. I was like ok?? I ghosted the motherfucker after that. Now there is this dude from a thing I go from time to time with other female friends who is ridiculously eager to come dinner with us whenever I'm present, he's so transparent and he's also in a relationship too as far as I know. It's laughable. I've never helped a dude cheat and hopefully I never will, fucking cowards, treat your current partner minimal human decency and break up with them if you'll be pursuing other people anyway.

Back on topic >>513551 if your boyfriend is ok not meeting other girls in his own if he realized it made you uncomfortable that's because he cares about you and wants to be with you (and imo it's the most intelligent thing to do I mean c'mon. Why would he need to seek company from other girls if he already has a girlfriend?? Even if it's casual company, It may just be me but you don't usually seek company from the other sex when you already have someone). Imo he doesn't seem a bad boyfriend at all. But I agree with the other anon that you may have BPD, specially if you were cheated on/abandoned in the past (because lord I have been, and I'd lie if I'd say i don't feel like you do sometimes); it may be a good idea to try therapy to deal with that jealousy and fears in a healthy way.

No. 513625

I’m a server and this weekend had so many trashy people come in and just being terrible. The restaurant I work was never known for being classy but Jesus, this weekend was super bad. On Saturday, I had to wait on these entitled hoodrats who were terrible to me for no reason. Sunday, I waited on this family and the dad was super rude to me and he let his two year old son play with the sugar packets on the table and dump them on the table as well. And of course he didn’t tip.

I usually deal with annoying and rude people on a regular basis but I tend to forget about it once I get home. But these two incidents is still making me seethe. God, I hate working in customer service.

No. 513652

Not the staff but it's the obgyn herself. I remember when I consulted an obgyn for an implant, she tried downplaying why I want them. She's probably in her 60s, basically a boomer. Instead of giving me the rundown of those things, she just "scared" me into not getting one. It's hilarious how she tried scaring me with the expenses (I'm from a 3rd world shithole so something like $200 is a fortune). When I didn't budge and told her I have the money, she told me I'm still very young and I should try getting a kid before doing a "rash decision".

Long story short, that was the last time I consulted her clinic and went elsewhere. I specifically went for a younger obgyn, I think around her mid-30s. She was nice and really understanding. I also got a discount from the normal $200 price tag.

No. 513658

File: 1581372335889.png (1.94 MB, 1332x1332, Messages Image(4084614192).png)

god owes you an explanation tbh. is there anything you enjoy? i don't mean that in a rude way. like hobbies, etc.? not trying to be like lIvE fOr YoUr PaSsIoNs but maybe weigh if those could be enough, and if not, what could be enough, in your wildest dreams? what's the best scenario you can make in your mind? total dream utopia. just a practice to engage w urself more (at least i find this helpful to me).
and what's the worst that could happen if you don't make that decision or dwell on it rn?

i have different problems, same feelings. i try to keep myself occupied so there isn't time for those thoughts to happen blah blah blah. but i'm depressed and don't do anything when I don't have to, or even when I have to, so it's always on my mind lol. tbh i use a therapy app and it helps me just go off and track my thought patterns and other things i didn't expect. i survive on klonopin and lamictal to make it to those few moments i enjoy. i test myself out of curiosity to see if i can act like a functional human. i try to have a childlike curiosity to help inspire me and make me feel lighter and dumber. and i escalate things i don't need to just for fun. whatever combination of dumb things works for the day.
but, i understand when near that state of hopelessness you're in, sometimes the mind won't entertain any other thought.

it helps me to look at this chart to find the emotion im feeling, bc i usually can't find the words to pick the words out, and look at the opposing ones. each have the same energy, just opposites. i pretend they switched and i have the other one now

No. 513674

lmfao my obgyn changed from walk in to appointments which I didn't know and I ended up waiting for 2 hours in line once only to find out when I asked the nurse
They didn't even put a message on their door or anything, I felt so embarassed

No. 513682

socialization to empathize with weirdos and the mentally challenged, in this case trannies. girls are supposed to be nice and boys will be boys

No. 513684

File: 1581377860843.jpeg (50.6 KB, 732x745, B30CB7E1-986C-4859-8A11-7950B7…)

I'm hanging out with my bf and our friends and
>I was told there'd probably be drinking, I greatly enjoy social drinking because it helps me calm down and properly eat
>Buy alcohol for myself as we were told to by the host, only told now everyone works so there won't be drinking
>BF angry at me for getting alcohol even though I'll just.. put it away?
>Forgot everyone but me are coworkers to each other and they've been talking about work stuff and the like for over an hour now

This sucks man.

No. 513685

there is no need to yell, especially over mundane shit. i dont have any mental illness i think, but my dad used to yell and throw things all the times so i now get a really strong reaction if anyone, especially someone i love raises their voice at me, same as you. my bf did it once (over mundane shit) and never again, thankfully. so no, you're not overreacting, he is, since he yelled at you.

No. 513690

Don't rely on substances to help you with an actual problem then

No. 513697

File: 1581381557047.png (227.96 KB, 498x434, s0j87ItM31u58bayo2_250.PNG)

I need a new bf

No. 513705

I don't? I haven't drank in a while but I still was looking forward to that part of it, but I'm fine without it. It was more that I was going with what the original

No. 513708

original hangout was gonna be** I was basically told the exact opposite of what this was.

No. 513710

you could contact the spotify customer support and ask about a username change. it might not be possible but it's worth a shot

No. 513743

>inb4 memery
Weed has been helping me out a lot lately. Usually I'd get home from work and obsess/overanalyze the guys I was seeing. Like why doesn't he text, or he doesn't engage with me enough, blah blah. Next I'd develop anxieties and have depression about my friends. Basically I feel really alone and like I annoy and bother people when I try to reach out to be social.
When I smoke I stop giving a damn and I'm much more chill. I sleep well at night. I like to smoke before I go to work so I'm less anxious throughout the day. When I run out it's not that I panic, I don't need a fix. But I miss it, and I like to have it, even when I gotta go without.

Am I crutching?

No. 513752

Pls be my Major General Robert Ross and burn my white house down

No. 513754

Everyone should at least read Stephen Kotkins Stalin. It's so good.

No. 513772

i’m mad at myself for not spending more time with my dog. i’ve been dealing with severe depression lately and i lock myself in my room and don’t come out whenever i’m home. my dog is usually downstairs with my parents the whole time. i used to spend all my time with him but lately i haven’t been at all. i tell myself i should hold him more or at least put him in my room with me but he doesn’t like my room and he gets uncomfortable sitting in my lap for too long. i try as much as i can to play with him and give him attention but sometimes i just.. hide away and i feel so guilty. i love that dog more than anything and i need to give him more of my time. he’s not going to be around forever. i just hope he knows i love him

No. 513794

Last summer I made a post in the shitty friend thread about this annoying ex friend that I dropped after she moved abroad to the same country as me and was overall a shitty person to multiple people and stalked her ex and was a jerk to me after I literally helped her find a house.

I'm bored as hell and sick in bed and decide to unblock her insta and stalk because I'm a weirdo and am generally curious of her whereabouts atm. Turns out she invited her on and off British ex for years for a holiday around November (she was a teaboo before suddenly becoming a weaboo) and now she's currently pregnant with his child I'm assuming. Crazy thing is that I'm also pregnant atm and we have the exact same due date and I'm currently mind fucked but also feel like a loser for internet stalking and ex friend but like damn, that happened fast for her. She's now out of Japan and seems like she's moved herself to the UK to be with the dad. She was a super weeb for years, who wanted nothing more than to live in Japan and date a jap guy and get a marriage visa to settle forever, she was over the moon when she got her working holiday visa. but looks like she finally got her true dream of settling in the UK after all. Just feel bad for her geriatric dog whose moved overseas twice in the span of 1 year lol

No. 513795

how do I get a guy who only sees me as a friend to date me I'm lonely

No. 513797

I’ve been working really hard towards my goals, doing things way out of my comfort zone so maybe one day I can have my dream job and a good, quality life. It’s been hard but I’ve been able to keep pushing, feeling confident that it’s going to be worth it in the end and I truly am capable of achieving this! But today something small happened that reminded me that’s it’s not ever going to be truly easy, even after I finish school, it’ll still be hard to find a job and it’ll be a waiting game to work where I truly want to work and the time/money I’m putting into all of it so far is stressful to my relationship and even when I gave the dream job, it’ll probably still be a stressor on all of my relationships (husband, family, friends) and.. I just don’t know. This has been the first time my motivation has wavered, my confidence shaken up. It’s almost like I feel embarrassed for even trying so hard to begin with? Like why did I let this become so important to me? I know it’s probably just the anxiety/depression talking but I’m so upset haha. I feel like I don’t have time to think anymore because I’m so busy with school and work, and the second I let myself slow down I became a nervous wreck over it…….

No. 513805

Maybe try to spend a little bit time with your dog in the living room or somewhere else not your room? Even if it’s like for 20 minutes every day. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I’m sure your dog loves you no matter what.

No. 513809

I miss the aerobics craze of the 90s and 80s. I was just born in the early 90s, but I remember it being fun as a child to get up and jump around to music on the radio. Everyone seemed healthy and fit, even the chunkier people were up and having a good time. Majority of my workout playlist consists of eurodance and hip hop music from that era. It honestly makes me feel good and want to get up and dance. Maybe it's just more of a nostalgic thing for me but I'm glad it keeps me happy and hopeful.

No. 513815

patrician taste anon, have you ever seen this?

No. 513826

I miss the milk from Erins thread

No matter how much I hated her she always had the freshest milk and I enjoyed watching her self-sabotaging behaviour.

She was so predictable, alienated all her followers and had zero friends.
and it was nice see art made by other farmers.

I hope she comes back again for Valentines like another farmer mentioned

No. 513829

I think I'm addicted to socks…
Every time I get home and take off my socks I start cold-sweating profusely in my hands and feet, how do I even wean myself off of socks? I hate this

No. 513834

I was born in the mid 90s, grew up listening to eurodance cds while doing homework, now eurodance playlists help me get shit done. 2Unlimited, Haddaway and such were so energetic and full of life, I wish for comeback of this genre.

No. 513837

NGL, I really liked Rammstein as a teen as well. Mostly this was because I never saw their film clips, and couldn't understand their German. It was all just loud noises I could crank up whenever I was going through moody bullshit. It wasn't until years later that I looked up enough of their lyrics to be completely horrified by them. Angry music is fine sometimes, but angry, violent, misogynistic music I don't want any part of.

No. 513845

How are you horrified by them? Are they going to enter your house and beat you up or what?

No. 513850

funniest bruh moment of my life must be my parents listening to rammstein ever since i was idk 3 till age of 8 maybe and at age 6 we moved to germany and obviously got on with learning the language when it dawned on them. stopped listening to them since.
id say my parents are pussy for this but their music and texts are frankly boring to me today.

No. 513852

>child has behavioural problems
>parents believe it's not in any way their fault
>get mad at said child for having behavioural issues
>never looks at what they could have done to prevent/help that

I hate bad parents more than almost anything

No. 513854

Those artists are so energetic and make me feel luxurious. I, too, wish for this genre to come back. The recent artists I've listen to that sound like them is Frank & Tony, TRST, and Omar S. Song attached is the best example. Way more chill and runway-like. I definitely need that high energy back!

No. 513856

If you're referring to yourself than that doesn't mean you can't fix yourself but I feel your pain.

No. 513859

It's scary enough that they most likely want to.

No. 513860

what cds/albums/compilations would you rec? eurodance is my guilty pleasure
Also vid related is a classic

No. 513866

I feel it

No. 513871

I started hallucinating again yesterday, after going almost four years without significant issues, and I'm pretty fucking mad about it. Time to get my meds adjusted again.

On a lighter note, I post my problems in these threads and always feel a little better. thanks for listening to me bitch all the time.

No. 513876

I bet she’s still posting here trying to be a farmer so there’s that

No. 513878

Sort of related but I suffered a few traumas as a kid yet my parents never considered how it might be a good idea to get me some therapy. Mom always stigmatized mental health and basically admitted she thought most people fake or exaggerate their conditions in order to not work and get sympathy, among other things (yes she was projecting). When I was a teen I became super rebellious and sexually active sometimes to my own detriment, but even still they blamed my friends and other influences for the behavior.
Never themselves.
As an adult I struggle with establishing healthy boundaries because mine were always walked on by my parents, I had none. I have a tendency to overshare because privacy didn't exist in my house for me, and I was always having to explain and justify. I people pleased for my mom, and now I suppress that trait because it's gotten me exploited by abusers. I was constantly called annoying and needy for wanting my parent's attention that they hardly ever gave, and now today I avoid people because I figure everyone else is also bothered by me.

No. 513911

tinfoil: maybe she read the pinkpill and anti-kink threads and decided to stop being a ddlg pickme pedo apologist

No. 513918

i hope my bf gets me something for valentine’s.. i don’t expect him to buy me anything but just drawing me something would be nice. we dated for 2 years almost LDR and now we’ve been together in real life for about 5 months now. he got me
something really thoughtful for christmas but i just hope he’ll do something for the 14th because it would make me
so happy. im buying him some candies and i wrote him a love letter telling him how much i appreciate him and love him.. i don’t want to look like an idiot giving him this heartfelt gift and getting nothing back. i don’t want him to feel guilty about not getting me something if i do either.
i think i have bpd too and i’m ultra sensitive sometimes, like if he doesn’t return my affections in a specific way, if he acts a certain way, i pick up on it and it ruins my day.. i KNOW he loves me but my insecurities take over with even the smallest thing. i just don’t want to get my hopes up and feel very hurt in the end.

No. 513935

and the terf threads

No. 513938

File: 1581439841827.jpg (306.89 KB, 1600x1200, 128214630.jpg)

I searched the internet and managed to find exact cds that I had, they are mostly eurodance, and I wish I had them again tbh, as a souvenir from the past. Now I listen to it on youtube, just play one popular eurodance hit and next in line will be something similar. Like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3EUnL8vZbE

No. 513941

One more. Remember to like some of the vids, youtube makes decent music playlists, it's pretty convenient

No. 513946

And another one. Damn, I love them way too much.

No. 513947

I hope he gets you something anon. You sound cute.

>tfw no gf to write cheesy love letters to with my fancy fountain pen and pretty glittery bottled ink ;_;

No. 513954

Oh yes! Many times, kek. I do wish we had these kinds of programs again. Do you remember Tae Bo? I remember I had a sample VHS laying around with a 5 minute workout. I used to put it on every other week and I was good for the day lol.

I fucking love Culture Beat! I found a Real McCoy CD at the local thrift shop about 2 years ago when the car I had at the time only played discs and I was blasting that thing to work all the time.

No. 513983

I'm virtually uninterested in sex unless I'm dating. Then I'm kind of obsessed with it mostly cheating on them.

Soon as I start meeting up I do it. I hit on others right in front of them blatantly and don't bother to try and hide it. I just don't care if it hurts them I just have this compulsion to try flirting with men. I feel dizzy and light headed, kind of like the opposite of fainting like my fucking head will explode or my heart will burst out of my chest like the chest bursters in aliens if I don't hit on other men when I'm dating one.

I kinda feel guilty about the whole thing.

No. 513990

I love German music a whole lot but I have a rule to NEVER learn German because I once looked up the lyrics to a song I really liked and it was disgusting talking about weird fetishes and shit.

No. 514001

I miss the days of the internet where you could actually talk about the cons of something or just question the base of ideas/movements. People have become so fragile and mob mentality since 2014 I hate it. The days of discussion are just dead now with all opposing opinions being downvoted, deleted, and banned on sight. Hell I miss the days of youtube comments being actual comments or opinions instead of upvoted asskissing.

No. 514020

>Hell I miss the days of youtube comments being actual comments or opinions instead of upvoted asskissing.
Lol poor your braincells if you actually ever read the youtube comments. Youtube comments were always garbage, from 2007 to this very day. (i couldn't navigate youtube in 2006 and in 2005 i barely went on it)

No. 514023

File: 1581456765323.png (246.07 KB, 934x320, igykj.PNG)

I finally figured out I'm a lesbian after all this time and I want to be intimate with another girl so bad but unlike sex with men I actually view sex with women to be a very special thing and don't want to just find some random hook up to do it with. I've also never had sex with another girl and am so scared and nervous about it.

I never got to be intimate with my ex but sometimes I daydream about it and I know it's fucked up to daydream about that shit but fuuuuuuuuuuuck I just want to softly caress and be softly caressed by a beautiful goddess. I know my imagination could just conjure up any another pretty lady in her place but for whatever reason it doesn't stick the same. My libido has been fucking dead for months now but nothing gets me worked up like the thought of touching boobs.

No. 514039

i feel trapped by my relationship, job and this planet. my boyfriend is sweet and kind but he has no idea what he wants to do with his life and what he does know isn't helpful. i have an idea of what i want to do and none of our ideas match up. i know this will bring problems to our relationship and when i bring it up he gives me the same answer. i don't want to break up with him but i need to get a move on. i'm scared that if we stay together he will become resentful of me because i'm doing what i want and not what he wants even tho he can never give me straight answer. right now i'm the only one supporting us as he's in between jobs. i don't have an issue with him quitting his job because he's trying to get a job and his former boss was a dick but my job is shitty too it's taking a toll on me emotionally. i hope this makes sense i'm crying while typing this lol.

No. 514048


No. 514052

Saw Cardcaptor Sakura porn and wanna throw up. Anyone who draws that shit should hang

No. 514054

that's not that bad, there's weird lesbian fanservice shit in the show.

No. 514055

I sent a spergy email to my therapist last night because I once again left a major assignment to the last minute. At least this time, instead of killing myself over it, just went to bed. I'm more crazy when tired so that was for the best. The class has a pretty generous late policy but doing that shit in the next few days means I'll probably turn in the next hw late. In my email I freaked out and was like why is the large amount of time I waste online never a focus of discussion. I tried not to be too accusatory but I always feel like the meetings don't address root issues but I don't see the point in finding a new therapist when the semester ends in a few months and then I'll be back in my hometown. She was levelheaded in her response and said "you have solutions within you." Solutions? In my me?

No. 514057

She's actually old enough if you go by Japanese laws of the time

No. 514064

File: 1581463775789.gif (39.02 KB, 220x220, inaudible sperging.gif)

I'm waiting for Valentine's Day to finally put the last nail in the shit coffin for this guy I had been dating. Also low key was developing feelings for. I think he's gonna flake out on me. He hasn't texted me all week, but before this he only ever texted me for dates. Even when I dropped obvious lines like "I wish you'd text more I like hearing from you," or "I really like you," nothing changed. It's my fault. I slept with him too early I think, and now that he's got his hand fulfilled I think the insecure fuckboy is revealing itself. Now he will be conveniently "emotionally unavailable" to put energy into a relationship if I would have gotten one. It's upsetting because it's a complete 180 from when I first met him, just reinforces my theory it was all a facade.

I hate how he spoiled my excitement for a new relationship. I thought I was with a guy who wanted to be decent to me. I'm so damn naive.

Imagine if I'm wrong though: Imagine if he's just legitimately busy but is too socially retarded to see the snafu? Imagine he shows on Valentine's Day with surprise bullshit after giving me silence for over a week? Still unacceptable! It just means that if I'd continue on with this guy I could expect more of this immaturity, and expecting more would just make me clingy or annoying.

I need this closure. I need to see what he does on Valentine's Day so that either way I can be DONE with this fucking jerk. Block and delete his number. Curse his name for making me feel this way. I wish I could pounce him and start beating his face Lilo style, but knowing scrotes, that might be his turn on! Too many of them escape true justice.

No. 514067

I sometimes wonder if losing my dad at 6 just completely fucked up my ability to be truly intimate with a man. As a child I remember an older male friend of my mum would sometimes kiss me on the cheek goodbye and it was so weird to me. My mum got too drunk once and he stayed with me for a while talking to me (how my mum had been through a lot and stuff from what I can remember) and I just felt so uncomfortable. It's so wild because he didn't diddle me or anything but being completely alone with a man in my own home was so foreign to me it literally sparked.. such anxiety.
I've never truly felt comfortable or relaxed about sex like other girls I know. I ended my first relationship because I couldn't bear to let him truly in emotionally at the time. And I'm basically doing the same shit now to my bf, hardly talking about how I truly feel, hardly able to have sex despite him being overall such
a nice partner. I just hate it.

No. 514070

I know I just graduated 2 months ago so it takes time to find a job, but I feel so shitty and NEETy. One job I interviewed for I won't hear back until April. Meanwhile, I've been applying to every shit part time job there is because I need more experience. I hate life right now and want to skip to April.

No. 514077

File: 1581467104289.jpg (103.53 KB, 1184x749, 1566573278936.jpg)

Everyone keeps fucking dying and no one I know knows wtf it's like to deal with shit like this and every weeby shit they sperg about makes me so angry, those are not real problems. I am too young for this shit and while I wish these people will never have to go through this, I kinda wish they would so they'd know how it ruins you. IT'S ALL FUCKED AND AWFUL.

No. 514078

I find it hard not to sperg whenever someone refers to my (very big and old) city as a flyover just because it's in the Midwest. The only thing holding me back is that I hate people who obsess about where they live and buy stupid fucking merch and get the city flag tattooed on them and constantly talk about how much of a native they are. So for the most part I pretend not to care. But I love it here so much it's hard to contain.
Also, I think living here has started to make me kind of racist. I'm not even white.

No. 514080

Yeah lake michigan is pretty nice I'd visit it again. I like how you can see the fish come up right next to the bank even while you're so close to the roads.
I mean, idk why I think that's nice because where I live you can see crabs next to the roads but idk I like seeing real animals right next to the whole human stuff.

No. 514082

I agree that it's lame to buy city merch or whatever but there's no shame in loving your city. My city is basically known for having lots of pride due to our location and history and even though it's joked about there's a reason for that pride. I think it's endearing when people are passionate about where they come from - even being kinda passionately negative can be amusing.

No. 514083

File: 1581468028294.jpg (8.43 KB, 300x168, fuckyou.jpg)

I miss going out on night walks, but the FUCKING COYOTES have taken over my neighborhood.

No. 514085

Weird vent but okay so I went to the bank and I hate going to the bank they're always like "wow this is a nice amount of money in here where did you get it? what's your job??" like no i dont have a job okay then they're like "i also noticed you dont really spend any of your money what's the deal with that like okay"
like okay do I LOOK like a criminal to you??? No I don't!!! I don't need to tell you anything about my money ree !!

No. 514086

Garbage or not I'm saying its pathetic how much the internet has been filtered from actual differing opinion. Now people get thrown in the trash for actually speaking their minds.

No. 514096


I'm mostly a lurker these days but I just quoted you to say you're not alone Anon. I too miss the days where opposing opinion wasn't immediately shut down and a difference of opinion was instead room for debate or even an exchange of information. Of course hostile energy always existed but this seem to think charge in 2012-2014. I remember the time when Youtube comments used to be decent and sometimes funny on the videos I really liked, now all of it is shit (Except the old school music video comments lmao barring rock or metal I guess). I wanted to see if I was dreaming so I looked back at my favorite YTP from 2007 and saw the comments and it was much more chill and fun then. Everything is shit and conformist now just like real life tbh

No. 514100

Do they attack humans? I thought they were mostly a threat to pets. Is there a particular reason they've overtaken your neighborhood just lately? I'm curious.

No. 514117

Your post and filename made me laugh way too hard

No. 514122

To be perfectly fair this can be so fucking creepy. I only ever heard coyotes at night once, I lived in a place where I thought we couldn't get them geographically. The house used to be a couple ten yards or so away from a woods. One night I was outside chilling and then suddenly I heard loud ass growling and yipping from all directions, echoing out of nowhere. I left a contrail of piss trying to run back into my house.

No. 514123

I've been living with my boyfriend, his cousin, and his aunt since mid last year, at the aunt's apartment. Paying minimal/dirt cheap rent in an expensive metro area. It's a two-bedroom apartment, so I'm in one room, the cousin in the other, and the aunt lives and sleeps in the living room. She says she never sleeps in a bed, prefers a couch. She asked my boyfriend and his cousin if they wanted to live at her apartment while she's out traveling the world/visiting friends etc. She's retired, has a husband in another state that she doesn't visit/he doesn't visit her either, and doesn't seem to have many friends in the area. Her daughter, son-in-law and grandchild live about 20 minutes away but she sees them maybe twice a month. She's home most of the time.
As I've been between jobs (I start my new one tomorrow though, yay), I've been home a lot for the past month since I didn't want to spend too much money while I didn't have an income.

However I haven't been hungry/wanting to eat since I don't want her to comment on what i eat/my eating habits/why it took me a month to find a new job/hear her talk about her racist friends etc. She's so gracious for letting us stay at her place, yet I feel bad that I really don't like spending time with her/she's often very negative too and talks about the news a lot. She doesn't like movies, tv shows, restaurants, pets, music so when I first met her/tried to find common ground or something to talk about I felt stumped. My anxiety is not helping here at all either. I feel like she's lonely since she doesn't talk to many people and she's at home all day, but I can't find myself going out of the way to spend time with her..

No. 514142

The same thing has happened to me, in earshot of another nosy woman at the bank and it really bothered me. My dad said the bank tellers aren't allowed to just ask you that but idk if it's true.

No. 514144

File: 1581482022719.gif (241.06 KB, 220x155, Wellp.gif)

>mfw I smoked a fat joint before reading this and now I am so fucked up

Am I the only one absolutely horrified by space? It's all so volatile and dangerous.
>FRB are extremely powerful radio emissions lasting only FRB a few milliseconds. The sources of these bursts are absolute mysteries to astronomers, and of the hundreds that have been detected so far, we’ve only localized where five actually come from. Whatever event produces these emissions generates over tens of thousands of times more energy than the sun. While most FRBs are one-off signals, a few have been detected multiple times over—again, without explanation.
How can someone read that and not get chills?
The article says it's nothing to do with aliens or intelligence, but man just that much unpredictable energy is terrifying. It makes me feel so small and inconsequential, that I am. There's just so much unknown that we will never know in our lifetimes. I would pay someone to hug me rn.

No. 514146

The scariest thing to me are rogue planets, planets that somehow found themselves outside of any stellar system, revolving around nothing, just aimlessly falling through space. Imagine if that happened to earth or any planet that contains life, to be pushed away from your star, any source of light, completely plunged into darkness. They're also practically undetectable because most scientists look at stars to find planets so not even alien life would know you exist if you were on one.

No. 514148

I have a love/hate relationship with space, even vids like vid related are cool while simultaneously making me want to throw up

I'd kms honestly, I'd be terrified of the future. Even if humans found a way to survive underground. It'd be too hellish. Throw the whole planet away at that point.

No. 514153

>I have a love/hate relationship with space…cool while simultaneously making me want to throw up

This is exactly how I feel about space. It's awesome and I'm fascinated with it, but it's SO BIG. It's TOO big, like we have no frame of reference for how incomprehensibly vast it is. And there's just so much we don't understand. I can't think about it too hard without freaking out a little.

No. 514160

i know theres a beauty guru thread but I'm just venting. But I'm so fucking annoyed with the J* shit that's happening right now. He had a former lipstick brand that didn't really go anywhere called 'Lipstick Nazi'. There's pictures of him self-harming as a pose and it's on the web archives ver. of the lipstick nazi site along with a picture of him with a pink fucking swastika. HIS TRADEMARK IS ON THE SITE. There's so much proof that it is literally him, not fucking yuki, not fucking anybody else, yet his brain dead stans on twitter are arguing that it is not him. They see the facts and proof, but still deny it? How can you be so fucking retarded?
Theres literally people on old forums that you can find by googling 'Jeffree Star lipstick nazi' and see them talking about it back in 2009. Are they all lying to slander him today in 2020??

Why am I so retarded that this is making me irrationally angry???

No. 514161

File: 1581487938051.png (86.49 KB, 787x818, yikes forever.PNG)

>arguing that it is not him.
The website links to his account on another site where his name and birthday matches up.
Honestly, I hate his guts, not for makeup, but his music is braindead awful. Out of all the scenies that came out of that era, why did he have to become one of the most successful ones? Though tbh pretty much all scenekids turned into cringefests but J*'s one of the really just edgier ones that I fucking loathe.

No. 514163


This sort of stuff actually makes me feel at ease with universe . Knowing that for thousands of years we have been drifting in this precarious universe , yet for some strange reason we are still here . A million so called flukes a day keeping us from oblivion . It gives me faith in something but I can't describe what it is . Too many flukes for all of this to be a fluke . Life is a trip .

No. 514165

Holy shit anon, I have exact same situation. I too, want to move on, but Idk how, because I'm addicted to his kindness and him being sweet to me. Except he is inbetween jobs for a couple of years, him not willing to go take any job, at retail os something at this point drives me nuts. We have bare minimum of money to buy food and we don't eat much. When I ask can he do it not for himself, but at least for me, he tells me that he soo will definitely find a nice job, he just needs a little more time. He stays inside 99% of the time, when I manage to take him to a walk, he cringes. I know that it's depression, and I made him go to therapist once, but it's been a year since then. It's very hard, because I want to move on, but he is the kindest person in my life, it really means a lot to me.

No. 514167

There was one time I was leaving my house at 4AM to drive to work and as soon as I closed my front door I heard piercing yelps from the cornfields across the street. It also happened to be icy out and, what do you know, I coincidentally slip on ice walking to my car. The yelping stops as soon as my body hit the ground and immediately I was like "Holy shit, I gotta get up and into my car!!!" That was one of the scariest moments in my life lmao.

No. 514169

File: 1581490155417.png (55.18 KB, 300x270, m.png)

Mental health care here fucking sucks and I'm tired of it
Every time I try to go back to therapy they are so rude and dismissive giving the same stupid generic advice and not listening to what I am saying at all, like they completely forget everything we talked about last session and they won't help me work through the most basic fucking issues I have talked about
I am so bitter and angry now every time I see people saying to "just get help" "reach out" "you are not alone" etc !!! I have been trying for years!!! I can't!! I'm going to explode

No. 514171

Does anyone else get tired before being awake 16 hours? After being awake 12-14 hours I usually feel like I could go back to sleep again. What's wrong with me

No. 514172

Around the 12th and 14th hour do you usually finish eating a meal? It might be the feeling of your body digesting food making you feel sluggish.

No. 514173

Yeah it might be that I guess

No. 514174

File: 1581491324730.jpg (47.92 KB, 800x450, boo.jpg)

My dad and mom are finally getting a divorce which makes me happy since my dad has been extremely physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me and my mom since before I was born and decided to drop my mom like a tissue because she was in some debt, luckily she's fine with this now because of how abusive and cruel he got a couple days ago but of course everything surrounding it is shit.

A lot of my friends became huge SJWs for no reason the second I pointed out how trans people reinforce gender stereotypes a lot (keep in mind this is the group that screams racial profanities at fucking smash bros every chance they get) to which when I begged one of my friend's too not be mad at me she just doubled down and had a wall of text about how everyone there hated me, for about a month I basically spent it begging her to be my friend again because I was so emotionally fucked up and to which she tried to force me to make up with this guy who bullied me all the time by calling me a retard and saying my mom was a drug addict when she was pregnant (she had his side on this of course) and then when he refused to speak to me she called me a bitch because 'she was out with her friends' when I messaged her about it. The second I did eventually talk to this guy he called me a liar and didn't ever tell me why exactly he was so horrible to me even though I literally mentioned how shitty everything has been with my dad doubling down on the abuse and everyone talking about money non stop.
Even now I'm willing to listen to her if she would listen to me despite her new SJW phase (ie: said rosaries were cultural appropriation because I wanted to wear one despite not being Christian levels of SJW).

For some reason the mediator didn't want my mom and dad to pay for an evaluation either? They did it anyway but he's such a shady creep.

At least I'm looking for jobs because I actually genuinely really enjoy working, but it's really hard to sit in the same house as my dad.

No. 514175

I'm sorry your friends are doing this to you anon… I don't have many words of advice but I guess it helps to know you're not the only one disenfranchised by the rise of SJW rhetoric… Imo your friends seem incapable of adult conversation, they seem too busy trying to obtain that sweet moral high ground SJWs so desperately cling to. I'd say ditch them, but make sure you still attempt to foster relationships with other people. Otherwise you'll become just like me, alienated from my childhood friends, and to an extent society.

No. 514176

Thanks anon, she's kind of like that in general since she just tends to change her personality and moral standings depending on who she's around or what's popular (ie: friend and I kept recommending a manga to her which she ignored and then acted like she was the biggest fan of once the anime came out for it and said I was a gatekeeper for teasing her about watching it only now that's it's popular)

I think I've been doing slightly better with ditching them though since I've mostly been hanging out with my two friends into VNs and stuff (main hobby currently).

No. 514177

Jeez, these guys seem to be very childish and self-absorbed, even SJW-bullshit aside. Drop them and maybe tell them everything they make you feel for the last time.

No. 514178

>and maybe tell them everything they make you feel for the last time.
Tried that a while back, she just called me a bitch again for no reason despite me pointing out how I tried pretty hard to work things out with her.

No. 514179

I'm tired of being unemployed. Should I continue trying for dream jobs or should I at least get a shitty retail one so I have slightly more money than now?
The catch with retail is that there is a chance that i'd be a cashier, and in my country it's fairly common that everybody steals from cash machine and blames the least smart who usually doesn't steal, and that would be me. Yes, cameras and shit, but they might just stop working, or not work from the start. Also my salary would be "unofficial" and employer can stop paying me because reasons. But there still is a chance that luck would be on my side and it will work out okay. I don't fucking know.

No. 514181

Stick with those VN friends. The SJW circle will take a long time to realize they're too authoritarian and their circle will get smaller and smaller.

No. 514182

I think you should ditch your """"friends""""", even if you're scared to be alone, they're useless anyways, like they won't help you and they won't do anything for you, you don't enjoy seeing them, they're shit to you, so why keep them? well, that's just my opinion. You can try to get to know people with okay personalities, even if your relationship with them won't be close?

No. 514184

I'd say the main thing I wish is that the before mentioned SJW friend let me warn her, since I'm pretty sure she's gonna be next, that or another girl who got bitched at by the before mentioned guy for posting something not offensive or anything but just that personally ignored him to which she had to beg for his forgiveness.

It's just such a fucked up friend dynamic group that I'm kinda happy I got out of in retrospect since there were a bunch of other things that bugged me like how little they cared that someone who used to be in it (before me) had killed themselves.

No. 514185

>A lot of my friends became huge SJWs for no reason the second I pointed out how trans people reinforce gender stereotypes a lot (keep in mind this is the group that screams racial profanities at fucking smash bros every chance they get)
Every fucking time.
>"YOU FUCKING NIGGER FAGGOT KIKE JEW SPIC BITCH CUNT wa-he-hey did that person just say something transphobic?! time to kick this bigot's ass!!!!"

Anyway you don't need your shit friends. Eventually some of them will slip up and say something offensive and get isolated just like you. "Friend" groups policing each others' words and thoughts always end up being extremely toxic and only lasting because the people involved know too much shit about each other. It's a blessing they kicked you out actually, now you can meet people who aren't batshit insane. I hope everything turns out well for you anon!

No. 514187

File: 1581493985829.gif (182.61 KB, 480x270, satoko.gif)

Haha! Thanks for the advice! Your post made me laugh since it was so accurate, despite that I'll probably feel bad for whoever gets kicked out next since I'm just that type of person I suppose.

No. 514188

I can't help but to get angry everytime someone is a racist misogynistic fuck but thinks transphobia (and sometimes homophobia, usually for gay men though) is off limits kek

No. 514191

How many times have you killed yourself? Are you a cat?

No. 514192

Why do you think law and morals are interchangeable?

No. 514194

Your frends sound like the cringiest shittest discord server rather than a friend group. Ditch em.

No. 514197

It's honestly not worth it, they will kick out people with the best success in the group first. The more degenerate the person is, the more likely they'll stay and lead the group. I'm saying this as someone who used to be in SJW circles. Your friends become members and it's a competition to be the most "pure" and outspokenly edgy.
I once fucked up and went on a long rant about how badly Tumblr fucked up gender nonconformity and slapped glitter and rainbows over conservatism. The only people who came at me publicly were the men in the group. I had to apologize profusely and basically lie saying my meds were fucking with me (I haven't been on meds in years lol) that was basically the same day I renounced my womanhood after identifying as agender/non-binary. Trust me, so much daily stress is going to practically disappear after ditching this group.

No. 514199

> I had to apologize profusely and basically lie saying my meds were fucking with me (I haven't been on meds in years lol) that was basically the same day I renounced my womanhood
Wtf? Literal cult behavior. Imagine the amount of young girls that went through this and never made it out.

No. 514203

>It's honestly not worth it, they will kick out people with the best success in the group first. The more degenerate the person is, the more likely they'll stay and lead the group
This is exactly what happened in the antifacist group I was involved in, nearly all of our leading members that had actual military and combat training were kicked out or demoted and degenerate troons took all of that leadership position, slowly we just become a dumb joke to fascists

No. 514206

Anon, I just wanted to vent here how job searching is making me slowly insane. If the conditions of being a cashier in your country are like this, I wouldn't do it. Continue looking for a stable job, maybe not your dream one, but not in retail. We can both do it!

No. 514207

File: 1581500993564.jpg (260.72 KB, 596x1005, ser.jpg)

Fuck your friends. I've been slowly kicking anyone out who agrees with troons or sjw thought policing. Pic related just switch it with tra logic compared to your friendship. If the relation is that fragile then they weren't holding on much anyway.

No. 514210

I have a new friend who I really enjoy talking to but I feel like they’re annoyed by me. We can’t have a serious conversation and whenever I try it goes nowhere except awkward silence or one word responses. Idk maybe i’m too intrusive but I like knowing things about my friends lives and people opening up to me, I feel like I can’t bring anything up without annoying them or saying the wrong thing. But i’m tired of just constantly having “joke” conversations and not taking anything seriously. Also whenever I talk about my life like even one little thing like “Had a good day today” it just gets ignored or when I ask how they are and such. I feel like i’m just too needy but at the same time we’ve known for a while, and I know nothing about them.

No. 514211

Anon, I'm sorry to say but this will never be a genuine friendship as the friend is super annoyed by you. Slowly fade it out and move on. Friendship is not a one way street, if two people aren't involved and only one is trying you should give it up even if it hurts.

No. 514224

I kept feeling like my bf forgot about me and liked being around his friends more like he didn't want to come to a certain concert with me but then he suddenly wanted to go there with his friend
He just broke up with me because he doesn't like me being negative like that and now I just feel like all my negative thoughts are confirmed, that he doesn't care about losing me and likes his friends more and now I don't have any friends and he's going to that stupid concert with his friend in a few days while I'm not gonna go anymore because I don't want to run into him and it's far away for me and I don't want to book an expensive hotel but mainly it's because he's going there with his friend and I also gave him my ticket for another concert/festival we were supposed to which cost me 200
It probably sounds stupid that I think about the events that much but they cost me a lot in total and I'm poor and I've rarely gone to events and I was excited to go but now I lost my only friend who I already felt like didn't care about me as much as I cared about him and I feel like nobody ever truly cares about me
Part of me wants to ask him to stay but another part of me just thinks well he doesn't seem to care about me as much as I care about him so why would I bother but maybe that's all in my head and I just ruined it with my negativity for nothing but that's also fucking shitty

No. 514232

Yeah, imagine basing your entire friendships on who can outperform themselves the most. I was 22 when this happened so I also can't imagine how anybody younger than me could handle it. Another thing, of the men that came after me publicly, only one was my age, everyone else was at most 4 years younger than me. I'm honestly glad I didn't surround myself around more men my age or else I feel it would've been harder to quietly back away from the ideology. I almost considered dating one of these so called "friends", but I'm glad I found my current boyfriend who is a sane person without any degeneracies of the like and had no idea who anybody in the group was.
This wasn't no "we're anti fascist, please be our friends" kind of group, this was a "we like video games and drawing art, please be our friends!" kind of group.

No. 514238

Are we talking actual friend groups or are we talking bullshit teenager discord servers?

No. 514240

My new cat is so fucking annoying I almost want to return her to the shelter. She is obsessed with food and you can't leave anything out or then your back on your meal for a second or she will steal it. I've been super vigilant with keeping shit clean now but she still goes up there for even a crumb. I empty my trash and recycling every day so she cant make a mess but she still knocks them over and fucks around. Nothing works to keep her off counters or out of the trash, I've tried tin foil and sticky tape and even spraying her with water, but none of it deters her. If you ignore her when she begs and scrounges around she starts yowling and biting your feet. I've started just putting her in the back room if she doesn't listen to the first reprimand, which has helped a little, but I'm so fucking tired of having to get up and kick her out of the kitchen every 5 minutes because she won't fucking stop and I'm tired of having to keep my shit spotless every single day when I already have a hugely stressful job. Already took her to the vet and she's been dewormed and has a clean bill of health, and the vet had no useful suggestions beyond what I've already tried. I'm seriously at the point where I want to buy a scat mat or one of those collars that gives a static shock if they cross a barrier. I hate the idea of doing that kind of shit but I'm seriously at my limit. My first cat was so easy to train but she sucks ass.

No. 514255

lol what? most of their lyrics are tongue in cheek or just plain satire. never encountered any misogyny in it but maybe i'm just too german to understand their lyrics properly

No. 514257

Your bf was your only friend? That's a big big red flag. Are you in therapy?

No. 514258

kek, I meant it as an idiom, anon. I can see why you'd be confused.

> 3. To overexert oneself.

Don't kill yourself trying to get the report done tonight—it's not due until next week anyway.

No. 514260

I hate that my friend will point out and laugh at what I do at concerts because it feels so fucking necessary to point out or even pay attention to what I'm doing (ie uhh things people who have at concerts do like jumping and fist pumping and just having fun without punching anyone in the face on accident). I know she means no harm by it, but I don't get why she even has to point it out to other friends in the first place lol. It makes me self conscious to just have fun and chant alongside the crowd even if I'm not 100% sure what's going on. I'm just trying to have fun! I don't want to talk to her about it because I feel like it just makes me an uppity bitch because I know she's not trying to be mean but fuck. One of my favorite groups might be coming back to my city again this year and I've always attended their concerts alone because none of my friends like them enough to go and I've had so much fun going alone! Honestly I kind of prefer going to concerts alone now! It sucks waiting outside with no one to talk to, but it makes it worthwhile when I get to have fun in the crowd and not care if anyone is watching because I probably won't see them ever again. But now this friend said she wants to come with me if they come back and lol fuck. I don't want to gatekeep but fuuuuuuck you haven't cared to see them the past two times they came, you don't even really care about their music, and I just want to continue enjoying their concerts alone!!!

No. 514261

Just keep the door closed if it has one

No. 514268

stop being a pussy and tell your friend that you want to see them alone because she makes fun of you for doing normal concert things. she IS making fun of you and whether it's intended to be mean or not it is mean and it's rude as shit and she sounds like a garbage friend like who the fuck does that. get better friends, anon

No. 514269

i hate people like this. just put the embarrassment back onto her by giving her a confused and annoyed look and ask her point blank why you shouldn't do that at a concert, and when she's surprised that you stand up to her and starts to stutter nonsense give her a dismissive look and look away to keep enjoying the concert however you want. put her in her place and tolerate no bullshit.

No. 514287

every self proclaimed introvert i’ve ever interacted with is still a super annoying cunt of a person based entirely on principle alone, and every time someone whines about how their introversion fucks them over it only proves me more right tbh

No. 514289

damn bitch if i was in your friend group i’d hate you too. why are you sperging about trans people when you should be more worried about your big ass mess of a life? it does make you look insane, very easy to see why they dropped you

No. 514299

A red flag of what?
I don't go to school or anything so it's easy not to have friends. And the friends I used to have all just drifted apart from me eventually

No. 514302

Getting out of work early for a car appointment but of course I gave myself an extra hour to pick up a massive Chinese takeout order so I can binge.
The worst part is that I don't even feel true guilt or shame because I enjoy it so much, even though rationally I know I shouldn't.

No. 514304

>having shit home life isn't anon's fault
>being bothered by anon's sensible point but not her friends' racist classist behavior

crystal.cafe is that way faggot

No. 514318

Trust me you don't want those toxic cunts as friends. You might be alone for a while but it will get better anon.

Also, I can pretty much guarantee no catholic actually gives a shit if you wear a rosary..

No. 514340

I saw my friend (or acquaintance now - we have an on-and-off friendship since 2011, she ghosts me so why bother?) today while at uni, she was selling some vegan shit at our farmer’s market area. As soon as I recognized her, I turned my face away and walked off like a pussy hoping she wouldn’t recognize me since I’ve dyed my hair black but my Facebook pfp is still blonde since I haven’t taken a decent pic to change it.

It was nice of her to worry about me during a factory explosion by my house though, since I forgot to mark myself “safe” on fb anyway.

No. 514342

I hate people who pretend to be nice in exchange for something or aren't genuine about it.

A girl told me she wanted to share some chocolate with me, I tried to break the bar but I got a lot more chocolate than I thought, so I told her "oh wow, sorry, I think I got too much" and she answered "yeah".
I just left the chocolate there and said: "ah, I'm sorry, it's ok, I won't eat it".
She just packed it again without sayin a word.

There's another girl in my group who is constatly talking about how she always is "SO NICE!!1!" to everyone, but nobody is to her. She is pissy at people who don't shower her with affection anytime she's upset and demonizes those people like they are suddenly the worst. Meanwhile, she doesn't really care about everyone, she just talks to people when she's bored and wants them to entertain her. She can't grasp the possibility that those people are busy, sad or stressed themselves, everything is about her. She seems to remember anything nice she does to you and expects you to "repay" her.

Be nice because you want to make people happy, not because you are supossed to or to held people accountable. Nobody asked you to be nice.

No. 514351

>Tfw no one to share snacks with
I miss school and my old friends

No. 514353

I don't trust Chris Ulmer (the guy behind the SBSK channel.) If it's too good to be true - it probably is.

No. 514357

File: 1581545433860.jpg (145.04 KB, 877x649, neverunderestimatethe powerofs…)

Sometimes, usually children or elderly/clearly disabled folks. Recently in my city there was a full grown adult man who was attacked and bit on the leg by one, completely unprovoked, so that has me a little more apprehensive about them. Don't know if it was rabid.
I suspect they're more common now because there's a lot of construction in the area, and right now it's breeding season and that tends to make them a bit more aggressive.

That vid gave me the creeps. They've also scared the piss out of me and make horrifying sounds at night.

Okay, fuck it, we're going full 'yote on this thread. I think they're fascinating animals, but damn I wish they would just fuck off. My stupid neighbors used to leave their garbage bags out a lot, which is like a whole-ass invitation for these fuckers. I was also leaving for work early in the morning like >>514167 except this coyote was muchin on some garbage by my car and we both spooked each other (I didn't see it before opening the door) and it ran away only a short distance. Had a stare-off with this garbage-masticating beast. My ass needed to leave for work and this damn coyote was too close. I had to haze it away and it was scary trying to lock my door, walk down the path to my car, all the while staring down this wild devil dog. Have a security camera (not posting here for obv reasons) that showed the damn thing going back to its trash feast after I had left. Luckily I haven't seen any since then, but I know they're around.

No. 514361

I love the vids even though some make me sad but there is a certain odd vibe to him.

No. 514365

File: 1581547185392.jpg (55.39 KB, 968x645, urbanfox.jpg)

The sound when they're all whining at once is like a horror film score.
This stuff might be daily life to you but it's so interesting to me because I've never experienced it, even stories about raccoons stealing things are exotic to me. I'm here for everyone's mundane wildlife blogs lol. I'm glad the only thing I'll ever encounter stealing my rubbish is a cute fox like pic related though, if I lived somewhere with bears or poisonous snakes I'd just die immediately.

No. 514367

I'm depressed. Nobody will give me a job. I can't afford counselling. I have no hobbies or interests to keep me going. I don't have a career plan. I can't afford an apartment in the housing crisis. I cry on a daily basis. I'm addicted to alcohol and food.

Also I'm drunk rn.

No. 514374

As a fat fuck who is trying her best to lose weight by counting calories and doing shit right, jameela jamil's bs annoys me, some people actually needs the scales in order to see how they're health is doing. I fucking hate the fit teas and people being just cruel and nasty to me and other fats but her bullshit is so faux woke and over the top. The celeb cow thread deadass got me googling her more and she's too damn much good god. Fatty rage.

No. 514376

Apparently i got so angry i used the wrong their and all around shit grammar, sorry to this post.

No. 514378

as another fat fuck, i wholeheartedly agree with you

No. 514380

I wish i could hug you, anon. Shit's tiring.

No. 514383

File: 1581550679928.png (12.71 KB, 620x115, Blasphemy 'is no crime', says …)


As an ex-muslim lesbian, I'm so fucking pissed at what happened to this teenage girl.

No. 514392

People who weigh themselves frequently weigh less on average than people who don't. Encouraging fear of the scale is completely counterproductive.

No. 514397

If my kitchen had a door then I wouldn't have a problem, but my house is open floor plan so I can't even put a gate up or something.

No. 514398

I fucking hate shopping for jeans! I tried on two different pairs but in the same size. one fit pretty well and the other I could barely get over my thighs. I can understand how there are differences from brand to brand but these jeans were both asos's own brand! why does this shit have to be so difficult?

No. 514400

same anon. it's the worst clothes to shop for. i finally found jeans that aren't ridiculously expensive, long enough for my height but also big enough for my thighs/hips, so i ordered 3 of the same pair in the same size and 2 of them don't even fit! it's only slightly easier to find jeans when i'm at a lower weight but even then it's ridiculous to find jeans that actually look good and are comfortable even if they technically fit. right now i only have one pair of jeans and i'm stalling to look for any more.

No. 514401

Jeans are super uncomfortable imo, I hate wearing them so much.

No. 514438

I’m drifting a part from one of my friends but I’m kinda annoyed that she’s going on a 2nd double date with our other friend and their boyfriends while she seemingly has no plans to introduce me to her boyfriend. I mean, I know I shouldn’t care. Her and her boyfriend are annoying genderspecials (he goes by they/them). But it still kinda hurts. She doesn’t include me in anything yet she insist on being a part of my family stuff (my parents love her. I wish they realize that it doesn’t matter how nice she is. She’s a fucking womanchild who needs to grow up). She’ll act like she knows everything about me. One time she insisted that I was late even though I was supposed to be born a month later. But yet she doesn’t include me in anything.

TL:DR: Childhood friend is an annoying, immature weeb who’s always in my business but never includes me in anything she does. Also probably secretly resents me but won’t admit it.

No. 514451

I'm a GNC woman and I have been ever since I realized I looked more better in androgynous/masculine fashion and hair. It doesn't make me feel bad, in fact, it gives me extreme euphoria rather than being forced into dresses or shit like that. I hate trannies so there's no way I'm ever calling myself a genderspecial or anything.

But recently, everyone, especially people older than me (I'm 19), have been telling me that I'll never get a man to love me if I keep looking like a guy. They say that I have to change myself (grow my hair out, wear more makeup, act like a girl) if I want a boyfriend.

Am I wrong for thinking that I /don't/ need to change for any man? Like, if I wanted a boyfriend, I'd want one that doesn't care if I'm not stereotypically feminine, or am I just stupid and naïve?

No. 514453

You don't need to change anything anon. If you're not comfortable with the way you look you're gonna feel miserable even if you have a boyfriend.
Let them seethe, and dress however you want.

No. 514459

I posted here earlier about being nuts in a relationship and again I wish I'd chill out. Like I don't wanna know what single me would think of coupled me that I'm stressing about my bf going out for a couple of hours, and I've been stressing for days. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. Why the fuck do I care, why can't I even remove it from my mind and spend those hours just doing my thing, and be happy/neutral with him doing shit? Why am I being this pathetic? Idk I just want to tell my brain to fuck the fuck off with its petty stupid bullshit probably molded by some dumb trauma that occurred decades ago that I can't even piece together. If it even IS that. Maybe my brain is just wrong and I'm destined to be single, so i sabotage every time that changes.

Why can't I just be cool with doing my own thing, have a happy life and be happy my bf is having his life, and we enjoy our respective lives together? I can SEE that that's the healthy way to do it. Why do I feel the need to be in control and have us be present together? Why do I think it's the worst thing in the world when there's any deviation from that? I get sick of him sometimes because we spend so long together but for some reason the alternative is always worse.

God I'm so sick of myself but I can't get out of my head. I want therapy.

No. 514462

It's just clothes and appearance. Do whatever you want. You wouldn't want a dude that only likes you for something you aren't, right?

No. 514464

> I want therapy.

I have similar tendencies like you and therapy helped me cope. Go for it!

No. 514465

File: 1581594940578.gif (110.79 KB, 209x193, chen.gif)

My favourite fakeboycow trooned out and is cutting her tits off.

No. 514467

I'm unemployed, so at least professional therapy isn't on the cards at the moment.

If it's not too personal, what was the fault? Like what made it so you're thinking about this stuff constantly? And how was it "fixed"? I mean was it something innate in you that still bubbles up or was there a moment where you could finally conclude that it's bullshit and were more or less good from then on?

No. 514469

A friend I don't see much said last week I could visit her early this week. I forgot about it on Monday but said on Tuesday that I could come later that evening or Wednesday since I was going into town then anyway.
Late Tuesday she says sorry for a late message, she'll notify me Wednesday. Ok.
I wait and she never does. I didn't even bother reminding her. She legit sends a snap in groupchat that she's hanging out with other people and didn't even notify me she had other plans.
She's been initially positive and then ignored my messages for a long time once before and honestly I'm just going to give up on her now unless we meet in other social situations.
It sucks to be excited to socialize and then just be treated like an afterthought.. she didn't even message me at all despite promising to. She knows damn well that compared to many of our other friends it's easy to make plans with me because we both have a lot of free time.

No. 514471

Working in IT can be so fucking infuriating sometimes. When you're giving support to your users it's seriously like talking to a wall. I consistently go through this development process where we're both shooting ideas and asking questions back and forth but despite everyone speaking English somehow nobody understands each other.

No. 514472

i can't pinpoint what it is to him that makes me so skeeved out

No. 514489

Who is it?

No. 514496

So I was trapped in a relationship with an unattractive dude I was only with for money (I know I know) then finally dumped him and I took control of my life again -which is great- but now I cannot stop having throwbacks of me and my ex having sex which is revolting. I feel raped. Felt obligated to tell everyone he was my bf even though I didn't like him or I was ashamed of him just to make him happy and keep with this lie. Oh god this shit is gonna haunt me for life I'm an idiot….

No. 514497

YOU feel raped? If anything you are the rapist since you had sex with him while hiding your true intentions.

No. 514498

Why do I (and also my family) have to constantly suffer because of my dad's terrible decisions? When does he learn that just cause he's a man it doesn't mean he's the epitome of rationality and that he dosen't need to listen to the female voices in his family?
The unimaginable ways in which men have ruined my life is worth writing a book about.

No. 514500

Saying you feel raped due to what you decided to of free will is a spit in the face of true rape survivors. Take this as a lesson to not use people for nothing but your own personal gain.

No. 514501

I mean no shit she's going to "feel" raped because she forced herself to fuck someone she doesn't like for a dumb, awful reason. It's her fault for setting aside dignity and pride for material gain. Deceitful people don't value themselves.

No. 514502

Might wanna get into your time machine and rethink that thought a lil lmao wtf

No. 514507

Duh obviously I wasn't raped. Nobody obligated me to be with him. But letting someone use you for money is revolting. It fucks you up. He is not innocent at all tho the only way he knows to make himself interesting or likeable is throwing money at girls so at the end we both knew what was going on but yeah I was just talking about my feelings. Ofc I was not "raped"

No. 514508

Well anon, do you WANT a man who would like you to be not yourself and make you feel uncomfortable all the time? Been there, done that, makes you miserable as fuck. I've been GNC all my life but decided to be more feminine to catch a guy but it just made me depressed to force myself to be something that I'm not. Definitely not worth it. If a man doesn't find you physically attractive just because you're GNC it's his problem and he wouldn't make you happy anyway. It's heaps better to be single than live a lie.

No. 514511

It's still a bad choice of words. Yeah, it fucks you up to use others and get used in return. You violated yourself most of all and now feel ashamed about it. Just don't let it happen again.

No. 514512

Fuck men in their asses really bad, but how can anyone even defend you? Yikes.

No. 514513

I'm not excited for animal crossing anymore, I like the aesthetic, I like the music, I like how cute it is, but nostalgia aside, if you're not a kid, you're a braindead if you can play animal crossing longer than a week. It should remain a phone game, it's just phone game trash.

My town is dead, good riddance.

No. 514514

You did what you had to.
I don't think you'd be with a rancid dude for his money if you had alternatives, and people need money to survive and live a quality life. It wasn't a good choice, but I understand it.
And let's not kid ourselves and act like the ugly guy didn't get anything out of being in a relationship and having sex with a woman out of his league either. You both had something to gain from each other, it either works out or it doesn't.

That said, you've done better for yourself. Give yourself time and forgiveness, you won't think about it in a few more years.

No. 514515

You saved yourself with the last sentence, everything else was rubbish.
>you did what you had to do
No. Needing money doesn't mean you have to be with a wealthy guy, you can also do low wage jobs, you know? But I understand not everyone feels too low to work for a minimum wage…where's this world with lazy bums going to?

No. 514516

You sound like someone who's never had to work "low wage" jobs, or you'd realize how difficult if not impossible it is to live on one. Completely delusional and naive.
What's your age dear?

No. 514517

>I don't think you'd be with a rancid dude for his money if you had alternatives, and people need money to survive and live a quality life.
A lot of people do degrading shit for money that they don't need. As if middle class cam girls don't have other options.

No. 514518

File: 1581612283263.jpg (200.18 KB, 900x900, 1540549172848.jpg)

Have you only played the phone game? The real game isn't the same. Anyway if you have played one of the mainline games, on the one hand I see where you're coming from because I don't get the people who can play continually for years. There's people who still fire up New Leaf every damn day. That's crazy to me. I love AC and I have NH preordered, I expect to play religiously for 6 months and then from time to time for the next 6 after that and probably forget about it. What has made the experience more lively for me in the past is that I always had irl friends or family living in my town so there is a real organic element to complement what's manufactured.

To me the heart of animal crossing is designing and decorating and if someone doesnt enjoy that on a deep level they will never like AC. When I start fading out of my town it'll be because there aren't any more pwp's or furniture or art I'm interested in collecting and arranging.

No. 514519

A middle class camgirl doesn't physically put herself in the field or fuck ugly men. Not an equivalence in this situation.
But I have no doubt camgirling for money is much more lucrative than most entry level wages a young middle class girl would earn.

No. 514520

Last time someone asked me my age in a condescending way she was 20.

As for you, you sound like a dumbass poorfag. I have no problem with genuine poorfags who can't even land a job to clean toilets, but dumbass poorfags are fucking lame.

No. 514521

It's not a false equivalence because whether or not camgirls fuck men is irrelevant to the point that it is debasing. Sure it could pay more, it also gives you virtually no privacy for as long you live because your cooch is easily searchable online.

No. 514522

I have never even played the phone game, I only played the gba and the 3ds versions. I was a big fan, otherwise I wouldn't say the positive things about it, I still am, but it's a shit boring game for kids.

Play happy home then, at least your town won't die. And most people who play new leaf are friendless furry autists it seems.

No. 514523

Maybe you're arguing within your age bracket if you find you're picking a lot of fights with 20 year olds. Speaks to your immaturity.

>you sound like a dumbass poorfag

I'm actually an educated and accomplished officefag who understands the struggles of having little money and a low wage.
You're aggressive with me because you didn't like what I said to OP, because how dare I have some empathy I suppose. Just stop replying if you think my opinion is rubbish. Literally no one asked you.

No. 514524

>dumped him
>wasn't really trapped
>"feels raped" because of obligation to be vapid for a paypig
you're a disgrace
She obviously wasn't out of his league if all it took was waving some money for her to throw away common sense.

No. 514525

Nobody was saying the guy didn't get anything out of it but anon is clearly trying to compartmentalize what she chose to do. I doubt he was even that bad. Anon just understandably couldn't handle the transaction and has to live with that.

No. 514526

I think OP deserves some comforting, I'm aggressive about one thing here actually: how you're discouraging people to work with that lazy ass mentality. I grew up dirt poor because my dumbass mom was the same.

No. 514529

Same for my mom.

No. 514530


You'll get neckpain from all the straining of this reach.

No. 514531

You: having job(s) does not give you an easy life haha.

Just stop already mom.

No. 514532

OP didn't mention children. If it's only affecting her life then your personal details aren't relevant. OP even says she's doing her own thing.
You're projecting.

No. 514533

But where's the lie?

No. 514537

maybe a little but we all (or almost all) have something that helps us through the day, weed isnt the worst by far

No. 514541

My mom died suddenly when we were on really bad terms. I learned that all she wanted was to make up with me and see my uni graduation. Fuck this life i'm so tired and so close to ending everything

No. 514542

My condolences, I have no words but that.

No. 514544

One day you'll be able to find some solace in the idea that she wanted to be on better terms with you, even if it never got to physically occur. She had love in her heart for you up until that last moment and I hope that's able to bring you somesort of comfort in such a horrible time. I wish the best for you anon, I hope you eventually find it easier to continue on and keep living. I hope you graduate university if you haven't already. Best of luck, I am so sorry.

No. 514546


Hang in there . I love my mum more than anything so I really feel for you . The way you feel now is the embodiment of the love you had for her . The universe will get that .

No. 514550

The best thing you can do now in absence of the ability to reconcile with her is to keep living. She would want you to keep living, to keep fighting and find your happiness one day, anon. If there’s any such thing as souls or spirits, she knows how you feel now. And even if not, your whole life can still be a way of saying “I love you, too.”

No. 514551

I'm not saying nature is against me, because it's obviously impersonal, but what is my place in it? Am I a part of the ~system~ or am I completely out of it? Like, I feel like I should be sent off to another universe since I don't fit in here, but this is the same that created me so I literally have nowhere else to go.

No. 514553

>I have never even played the phone game, I only played the gba and the 3ds versions
There never was AC for GBA tho

No. 514556

my mother threw 5 full sized bags of my childhood belongings into the trash without ever telling me
there were tons of now quite expensive toys and personal notebooks and sketchbooks I had that were the last hints of what was in my mind when i was a child, as soon as i could draw and just started writing i expressed myself in them and "wrote"/drew stories i used to "read" to my cats
I'm so mad i think i'm having a stroke

No. 514558

>And most people who play new leaf are friendless furry autists it seems.

I can't stop laughing, this is unfortunately very true.

No. 514562

File: 1581623419198.gif (3.94 MB, 616x640, tenor.gif)

I'm looking back at my last relationship and cringing the fuck out at how overly dramatic and emotional I was. We weren't even together a whole six months and I reacted to our breakup like it was serious. Granted he was an asshole to me and said 'I love you' first but still. I'm so fucking embarrassed, his family probably thinks I'm a psycho. I dont know how to live it down. I just want to have my memory wiped please

No. 514566

I got quite a bad case of food poisoning today. Vomiting and all, very lovely stuff. It just reminded me of my abusive ex bf. When I last had food poisoning, he was actually really kind for some reason? While I was vomiting he held my hair back, stroked my back, told me everything would be ok and was overall very comforting. But now that I'm in a non abusive relationship, my current bf just says 'don't die' when I'm vomiting and complains about his work lol. I love him, but sometimes i don't understand when he's more selfish than my abusive ex.

No. 514567

I feel empathy for you OP. If you had worded it differently (downplayed your feelings), some anons wouldn’t have reacted so rabidly.
>I was financially dependent on an ugly shit bf and felt forced to fuck him
Not saying their reaction is your fault. Bitches going on about “mUh poOOr mALe getting used by dumb white roastie” is sus af, didn’t even pretend to larp as a SWERF with their retard camwhore comparison. Literal whores feel raped too, only men don’t understand this. Anyway, good on you for pulling yourself out, please get some therapy.

No. 514570

Lol keep accusing other people of being men while you call women you don't like whores. I don't care if men are used for money, the point is that you have to lack self-respect to fuck people purely for financial gain. That's evident by the fact that she felt some type of way about it.

No. 514573

What's the point of replying to every anon because you're angry that they don't have the same opinion as you? It's been hours.
>but it's about a lack of self-respect!
I think anon learned her lesson regarding that, and stated she moved on from that way of living. And again as other anons have stated, a lot of relationships are transactional and that's the reality of matters.

No. 514574

I don`t know…this life is just shit for some of us I guess while for some is unfairly great.

It's pretty hard coping with the fact that I will never be who I will want to be and that I will never do what I want to do. I don't think I'll ever be able to make music because I don't have any talent nor do I have any musical background. I don't know where to start or how. I don't think I will ever be able to write a book, I've had learning difficulties my whole life and I have a lot of issues when it comes to expressing myself and my grammar improves very slowly even if I work on it.

I just have to accept it. I will only be an eastern european sex worker in this life and I know this is the only life I will ever get to live and it is my fault I have ruined it. I made the worst choices and my life is ruined because of myself yet I still consider life to be ruthless, so my conclusion is that my life is the way it is because of a combination of factors but I will take the responsibility of selling my body on the internet because I'm poor and my psyche has been damaged since my childhood but will those that do terrible things and hurt others but somehow are still praised for their life and actions ever take responsibilty will those ever be made to suffer by their own consciousness?

I see so many people stepping on others daily, only caring about themselves and those people somehow manage to be praised. The world is sad.

No. 514576

I called whores whores, nice try. You on the other hand call people poorfag like it’s an insult, in true brain dead middle class fashion. You have to lack self-respect to choose to live in abject poverty in favor of a minimum wage job. You have to lack self-respect to date broke men. You have to lack self-respect to wear clown makeup for the male gaze. You have to lack self-respect to work white collar for abusive capitalists. People debase themselves for anything they view as valuable, which is (surprise!) subjective. You can keep your shit argument about arbitrary black and white self-respect measurement.

No. 514579

Thank you so much kind anons

No. 514580

>What's the point of replying to every anon because you're angry that they don't have the same opinion as you? It's been hours.
Ironic if you're the one accusing anons who disagree with you of being men. I made a few posts on this topic and I only responded to you because you have zero self-awareness.
>inb4 samefag accusations start

No. 514581

>friend has a rocky marriage
>constantly arguing and making up etc.
>her other friends including me are single
>she tries to play cupid with us
>it seemed like goodwill at first but it's getting annoying
>it's really obvious she sees women as incomplete if they're single
>the last guys she tried to hook me up with turned out to be emotionally unavailable users, and one emotionally abused me
>told her I'm done
>she keeps pestering one friend into dating another rando dude she scrounged up from the depths
>friend sees what I experienced and is hesitant
>also she's not available and the dude isn't her kind of guy
>cupid friend keeps insisting she hook up then just for fun
>other friend is clearly uncomfortable and still has her heart broken from a previous dude

Can't we be chill? People act like being single in your 20s is a death sentence.
True quality men are hard to come by these days, and the emotional labor and risk that goes into a fwb hardly seems worth it when guys are usually assholes in those relationships too.

No. 514582

She’s not me dumbass

No. 514583

I'm not that anon. I'm someone different telling you to chill. This is at least the second time someone replied to OP with you replying to them to tear their comment apart. You're a shit stirrer and it's annoying.

No. 514584

I never called anyone poorfag but okay. That's not me.
>You have to lack self-respect to choose to live in abject poverty in favor of a minimum wage job. You have to lack self-respect to date broke men. You have to lack self-respect to wear clown makeup for the male gaze. You have to lack self-respect to work white collar for abusive capitalists.
Yeah okay? Did I say it wasn't? Stop arguing with people who don't exist.

No. 514586

>You have to lack self-respect to wear clown makeup for the male gaze
This might be a strange concept but some women like to wear makeup just to feel better about themselves.

No. 514587

Pfffft yeah okay. You lot expressly chided OP for not having a ~self respecting~ job above being financially dependent on a man. Which, she didn’t even say that she didn’t have a job. You were actually just being assholes because she said felt raped.
> Stop arguing with people who don't exist
Holy irony batman

No. 514589

I was saying that to illustrate how your self respect isn’t for others to determine whether you have it

No. 514590

I tied a trinket to a string and was spinning it, but it flew off and fell onto my messy roomate's side of the room and possibly into her hamper.

No. 514592

I know this is hard for you to understand but "Anonymous" isn't one person, stupid. Keep strawmanning. We don't know anything about her financial situation other than that she was sleeping with him for money, doesn't necessarily mean she was dependent on him or not.

No. 514593

Why did i ugly laugh at this, rip to your trinket

No. 514595

It came off in anon's post like she had lost self-respect for herself due to this though but sure.

No. 514596

>tfw my vent gets lost and forgotten amidst infighting

No. 514597

I saw a cat agonizing on the road, it was coughing blood
I just want to cry

No. 514600

>I don't think I'll ever be able to make music because I don't have any talent nor do I have any musical background.
Honestly it's so fun. Save up for it or download the cracked version and watch a few yt tutorials, it's like a rabbit hole and there is so much to learn in a very entertaining way.

No. 514601

Could you do anything to help it?

No. 514605

I have a few weird and probably unhealthy coping habits like imagining things that would never happen or never happened, like exes coming back to me and stuff, or imagining strangers being my friends giving me advice so it's basically just me giving myself advice but for some reason it feels better when I imagine some weird scenario where an imaginary friend or someone who's interested in me is helping me out etc
I wonder if other people do this too
I really live in my head in a fantasy world sometimes to cope with things and I know it's not harming anyone but I always ask myself why I do it because it makes me feel like I'm insane

No. 514606

I do that sometimes. Some people online call it maladaptive daydreaming.

No. 514607

Hi anon, thanks for the recc. I was looking into ableton but I will give FL STUDIO a go. I hope my mind will let me focus.

No. 514608

I just wanted to tell you that I do that all the time but I'm definitely not mentally well. Maladaptive daydreaming is normal when not done excessively, so if you only do it sometimes you shouldn't look too much into it.

No. 514609

How are you not well?
Just wondering if I might be similar to you.

No. 514610

Damn anon. You should try looking for any job (burger flipping, janitor, literally anything) so you can quite the sex trade industry. Some places might offer help for women who want to quite sex work so i recommend asking/searching for that in your area. If it makes you feel better I have some music resources for you along with a software
you can also use libgen.is/b-ok.cc to look for any boom file

No. 514612

My boyfriend treats my body/sex like entirely his own decision of where and when but got annoyed that I wanted to go under his housecoat to rub his thighs. I am highly annoyed so I went to bed. I've never been so complacent before in my life and I have no idea why it started now. Like my fight to have fun is gone

No. 514615

I finally pushed everyone away. Like it just happened. Lost my two remaining friends today and now I'm all alone. Awesome. I feel like a fresh start, away from here, but that will remain an unreachable dream.

No. 514621

I just have a lot of stuff wrong with me I guess, but everyone does in a way. I have recently made a vent but I don't wanna link the post.

I was recently diagnosed with aspergers, I was sexually abused as a child and had family issues, I live in a very unsupportive environment, I'm suicidal, I self harm etc.

The thing with what is defined as "maladaptive daydreaming" in psychology/psychiatry today is just a characteristic of people that are very imaginative and creative but when done as a coping mechanism it probably means you are missing something from your life or trying to escape reality. For me maladaptive daydreaming takes a very big portion of my life and I have been doing it as a coping mechanism since my childhood and since I have gotten abused. I have routines of maladaptive daydreaming and very specific scenarios I imagine myself in that bring me joy but maladaptive daydreaming also represents something that makes me become very disconnected from reality and since I do it obsessivelly it takes a very large portion of my time.

You said you imagine yourself being friends with people or interacting with exes. That's exactly what I do during my maladaptive daydreaming "sessions". I imagine I'm friends with people I know in real life but I'm not friends with or I interact with people that were present in my life in the past or even people that don't exist at all, I have my own imaginary world I'm very embarassed of and sometimes I just wonder am I completely fucking insane? I just get embarrassed when I have to interact with the people that are in my fantasies and it makes me feel like a fucking weirdo. Also, you said you only do it sometimes. I think a lot of people do it sometimes and I think it is normal when done in moderation. You could try writing.

Also, since I have told you about myself I guess you could try telling me about yourself too in similar lines as I did. I'm curious too, I haven't really talked with people about my maladaptive daydreaming issue and it seems a lot of them don't understand because they either don't do it or they're not aware of it.

No. 514627

I said sometimes but to be honest at certain times it is frequent, like when I'm going through a difficult break up which I am right now.. My life is not very good in general and I'm lonely so I don't have a lot of things to focus on and be happy about, I like to imagine getting back together with my ex and I partially also tell myself that maybe he will come back and it's truly the only way I can cope. Things with us ended because I was too negative.. I have difficult self esteem and anxiety issues. I kind of ruined all my relationships the same way and the daydreaming is something I did really really often involving a certain ex. Also it's often not just involving the person but it also involves events I would like to go to and then I imagine that they're watching a screen that shows pictures or videos of me like that I uploaded or was tagged in lol
I'm clearly doing it because I don't want to face reality but I can't think of a better coping mechanism. One problem though is that I do slightly worry when I think about my exes or right now my last ex, that I shouldn't think about them that way anymore and that it might bother them if they knew etc..

No. 514636

Hi, thank you. I can't quit now because if I quit now I will be ruined. I live in a very shitty country that's very sexist and that has no social support for such issues. I consider myself lucky compared to other women in my country that have to deal with real life prostitution and are in danger of dying every minute. The difference is that what I will do will forever stay on the internet in the eyes of anyone that wants to hurt me by using that information or maybe one of the obsessed neckbeards that gives me money will find me one day and will kill me.

I started doing this 2 years ago and I started doing it because I was being very suicidal, I had a lot of trauma due to my childhood and wanted to escape being poor and thought I didn't have any better chances at life anyway, than online sex work. The way online sex work was presented to me back then seemed like the best option but it was the worst thing I could have ever done with my life and now there's no going back. I'm in therapy but ironically the only thing that makes me able to stay in therapy is also the thing that makes me wanna kill myself the most (online sex work). I'm even getting a college education but I know I won't be able to do anything with it since my career and my life have already been decided when I had just turned 18. Someone from college has recently discovered my sex work and I'm getting humiliated everywhere and everyone is looking down on me, I'm not the type of woman to do sex work anyway. I don't know how some women can proudly tell the world what they're doing and I can't understand how women from nice countries that had social support and nice childhoods choose sex work over the other opportunities that they have. I think they must be fools or maybe they hate themselves too and get subconsciously manipulated by the way sex work is sold as the best thing in the world and once they are in it, they can't backpedal and they have to talk about how amazing sex work is ending up convincing even more girls to do it.

I really do want to kill myself and I am afraid I will kill myself before my dreams come true and I don't wanna die before that, I really don't. I'm actually working on three books and in one of them I will be talking about sex work and my experience with it as an eastern european child sexual abuse survivor. Also, I'm taking responsibility for my actions, I've been told I portray myself as a victim and I don't want to. I just know my life as a whole has influenced the choices I have made but I do take responsibility for them.

Thank you for the link, maybe it will help me get closer to my dreams before I inevitably perish. I don't wanna be famous or something, I just wanna be able to express myself through music and writing before I die. I don't care if people will give me approval or if they will like it. I just want to read my book and think "this is truly what I was thinking and I perfectly conveyed it through words" I want to make music, listen to it and think "This is truly what I have felt and I have perfectly conveyed through sounds".

No. 514658

You worded it badly but i can relate. I was with a guy (first """bf""") for a couple of months because he had a small crush me and i didnt want to ruin the friendship by rejecting him. I also get sick when i think of the one-two times we had sex (cant really remember how many times since i was drunk during the entire "relationship) and i refuse to call him my ex bf, because in my mind we never had a relationship, since neither of us were ever in love or anything close to that (or at least not me), and we both regret it now.

No. 514664

File: 1581640013302.jpg (96.18 KB, 640x875, IMG_20190113_180900.jpg)

NTA but wow anon I'm sorry you're going through all of that. I hope you're okay. Have you thought about publishing your book anonymously?

No. 514672

I hate my curly hair and the fact that I get hit on and complimented more than often when I straighten it.

No. 514673

I'm not done writing yet and I don't know if I will ever be satisfied with it. I have had learning difficulties since my childhood, so my grammar is generally pretty bad and I express myself very incoherently. I'm trying to relearn grammar and I'm trying to improve my vocabulary. If I will ever publish anything I think it will be under an alias.

No. 514676

Ntayrt but I root for you! I hope you can open up to someone in college who can help with your writing, editing and make you feel more confidence in your stories. Looking forward to reading them one day anon!!

No. 514680

It's valentine's day and I binged on garbage food yesterday (fucking sandwiches) so today I can't binge chocolate.
….I left the convo hours ago. Also, have sex.

No. 514686

Why would people design a TV that's impossible to turn on without the remote? I just had to throw away a perfectly good 45' TV because it had no remote. Apart from that, it appeared perfectly fine.

The current TV in the living room is the same, without the remote it doesn't switch on. Such a weirdly specific design flaw.

No. 514688

First and foremost I'm proud of you getting therapy (Though I feel you did the most work in bettering yourself)

Out of curiosity why is getting into the music industry the first example you gave? I ask because I've known people who were really talented but they were forced to keep it either as a part time job or a plain hobby. I don't believe in letting go of dreams entirely of course, but make multiple plans for your promising future when you're ready.

Regarding your sexist shithole: I feel if you've processed this (you're strong enough to do it, I don't know you of course, but I'm a fan of some of your mindset) and detoxed from this work, I assume you live in a EU country, you could move to a better country so you can start over again. Change your name, be whoever you wanna be. People can always change and become really good and the best. There are plenty of now respected people who have done sex work. I've known some myself.

Who cares what other women think about how sex work feels to them, as long if it doesn't influence you. Nobody except the naive people truly believes they're happy anyways.

Best of luck!

No. 514689

I feel this so hard. Curly hair sucks to take care of and looks like shit even when you DO take care of it. Anyone who acts like it's so beautiful is lying. I would sell my soul to have my hair be permanently straight.

No. 514690


You know you can buy universal remotes at Kmart or target for 20 dollars , right ? You might want to go retrieve your telly .

No. 514691

It's too late anon, it's already at the dump.

Thanks for the tip though, I never even heard of universal remotes.

No. 514692

Is it a smart tv? A lot of brands have phone apps you can use as a remote.

No. 514694

I'm not one to speak but do you also have down's syndrome

No. 514706

File: 1581649980732.jpg (85.87 KB, 600x600, rebloggy-hair-types-curly-coil…)

Speak for yourself but my curly hair at my prime was gorgeous. Bleaching hurt my curl pattern but it ain't anything that can't be improved with protien treatments.

No. 514711

sorry to get deep but i have no one to confide in really about this

ive been gaining a lot of weight recently even though ive been more active with my job and its stressing me the hell out
i want to go back to my anachan days but i feel physically ill if i go an extended period of time without food, which was the only way i could lose weight (the tiny snacks throughout the day shit did not work)
i dont know how to lose weight normally, and even if i did, im not living somewhere where healthy food is in more abundance than the junk food, and i can do nothing about the junk food.
ive already had 2 teeth pulled because of bulimia i cant do this shit again

No. 514714

Are you somehow unable to exercise?

No. 514717

I need to bitch more about the art homework I was putting off. I'm so bad at drawing faces, this assignment is sketching faces from photos and I keep reverting to symbol drawing and they look nothing like the person in the photo REEEE

No. 514718

File: 1581651890742.gif (178.91 KB, 575x574, 7219.gif)

My dad forgot to call on my birthday yesterday. He texted me today saying he would this evening and sent an egift. We have a 3 hour time difference between. He's not calling me tonight because it's too late there.

No. 514719

i mean, i probably could. i could list off excuses like 'i already walk this number of miles at work a day'/'my feet feel like theyre on fire'/'i dont have much free time and i dont want to spend that free time doing things that stress me out'
but yeah, i could. i just know i used to be able to lose weight no problem without exercising. exercising would help tone the areas to minimize excess skin (i dropped a shit ton of weight really fast, dont do anorexia kids), but wasnt necessary in losing weight itself, i dont even recall it helping me lose weight, and i'd exercise for at least an hour about 4 days a week and 25-30 minutes the other days.
i used to be able to eat nothing but cookies some days and still lose or not gain weight, even though i wouldnt move from my chair, but now that im active, i guess im overcompensating? or stress eating more? fuck if i know. it sucks. my body was already gross looking and now its worse because im gaining weight back and i dont even look thin with clothes on anymore.

No. 514720


What is the junk food? How can you live somewhere that doesn't have basic staples like bread , milk , eggs , tomatoes , onions , garlic , etc ? I'm not judging , I'm just curious . Try to eat 3 healthy meals a day , drink water but allow yourself one soft drink a day . Walk more . Dieting fucks up your metabolism . Just get your body locked into regular moderate meals. It's healthy to lose 2 kg a month anymore and you will put weight back on the first treat pig out you have . You will find the way . The universe wants you to be happy.

No. 514721

Sorry but stop hitting space after periods, what the hell.

No. 514722

we have bread, im lactose intolerant, eggs make me nauseous (probably because thats what i used to eat a lot of to lose weight). hard to eat healthy meals when theres few meals here to begin with. i live with my boyfriend's parents whose idea of a home-cooked dinner is plastic wrapped salisbury steak and stringy mashed potatoes. his dad has eating issues and his wife enables him, so most of the pantry is just snack cakes and chips. i try to buy my own food, but i dont have space for it (and i feel like im wasting my money because ill gain weight anyway), and its rude for me to reject their dinners (which they insist on plating themselves, to split up everything into somewhat even portions, so as to not leave anything in a pan? cause god forbid you have leftovers or something)
its all weird. im not going to say ive tried everything or that i cant do anything more, but theres a lot of weird things to work around that i just dont have the energy to to be honest

No. 514723


Ok. Fair enough. Thanks for the insight. You are going to have to find a work around. Perhaps try and get the whole family interested in healthy eating or something like that . It will come to you . Just remember yo yo diets are bad news in the long run . Take it off slow . It goes back on slow . Good luck anon .

No. 514732

This is going to be long. But I just need to get this out of my system

> The company I work for appoints new Managing Director

> he is an absolute creep
> constantly makes jokes with sexual nature
> Calls female employees to his room just to ask them to make him a coffee
> Told his PA that he is open to having a mistress
> Told one female employee to suck his dick during a meeting
> all his harassment is directed at young women in junior and entry level positions
> me and a few coworkers starts discussing about the situation
> some are afraid to report him because head of HR is literally his cousin
> some are in denial and making excuses for him
> maybe he doesn’t even realize he is making us uncomfortable
> It is not like he is directly soliciting us

So we stupidly decide to make things work. We will make our boundaries clear. Tell him when things are getting uncomfortable. It is totally going to work. Things will get better.

It didn’t get better.

> Sometime later, senior manager who was candidate to the MD position offers us her support

> our secret little union meets with her and she gives us some advice. That we need to start building a case. We need to write down every time the harassment occurs. We need to start recording whenever we are alone with him. All very reasonable
> Next day, the management announces restructuring and a list of employees being let go
> all of them young women in entry and junior level positions
> all of them victims of the new MD’s harassment
> and in case it is not clear, all the members of our union and no one else

After we quit, the company immediately starts searching for people to fill our positions. We start discussing our options and whether suing the company for gender discrimination and sexual harassment is viable. But that lost steam because of the holidays and the fact that people were afraid of getting blacklisted

That was back in December. Now I’m just a neet collecting neetbux, too burnt out to find work again because of the whole ordeal.

> starts obsessively checking coronavirus updates because death doesn’t seem too bad

> remember ex-MD is an old asian man with type II diabetes and heart condition who frequently travels to China and SEA for business
> whispers quietly to myself I hope he dies

No. 514733

File: 1581660803061.jpeg (75.53 KB, 680x480, 427C193F-17C0-49D7-8C5F-A19EA3…)

How do i get rid of this shit? It's not even creative for me, it's hours upon hours of me imagining my husbandos telling me that i'm cool

No. 514735

I'm turning 24 next month and this is the first time ever that I'm not looking forward to my birthday. I feel like I've missed out on so much in my 20s so far by not having any friends, not having enough money, or not enough energy and motivation (I've been somewhat depressed and anxious for six years now, I've gotten slightly better though). I moved to a smaller town because I applied to a school here, and it's been pretty terrible. There's pretty much nothing to do if you don't already have a friend group. I used to like going out to see rock/metal shows at this one bar and it also gave me an excuse to socialize, but the place got a new owner some time ago, the bar started catering more to "normies" and older people and now there are no more shows, so now there's pretty much no reason for me to leave my apartment, besides the gym.
Normally I should be graduating this year, moving away and getting a job, but I had to take a break for mental health reasons. Now I realized I'm gonna be 27 by the time I graduate. I feel like I'm so behind on everything, socially, mentally and financially. I think I'm having a legit quarter-life crisis rn

No. 514741

File: 1581667462163.gif (369.41 KB, 500x620, 654468456.gif)


No. 514742

>>514733 this image huwt my fweewings, anon goddamit

No. 514743

holy shit this image is so relateable kek

I'm in a pretty similar situation and as >>514608 , I'm not mentally well either but definitely better.I keep being pretty unaware of my surroundings when I'm just doing inane shit and I hate I forget easily due to this and getting depressed I can't achieve the situations I daydream about and loose my time daydreaming instead of actually doing something with my life.

Since there's likely another mental problem involved,I'd suggest some sort of therapy.If this isn't an easy option,meditation.Sometimes it helps.Also actually noticing the enviroment around you instead of daydreaming.And a bigger step would be doing some sort of activity and actually working on the things that you like and would improve your life.

I'm still struggling with it esp when I'm feeling like shit and it's a coping mechanism I had since forever,but you can at least be aware of it and try to be more mindful.Maladaptive daydreaming is harmful in the long run.

No. 514744

File: 1581667811631.jpeg (76.12 KB, 1280x720, 96EBCB01-9601-4FD1-84D8-BAB6FA…)

I am genuinely ugly. Not in the oh god, serious disease way, but in the mundane way. Deep nasolobial folds, double chin despite weight loss, Quasimodo levels of uneven eyes, teeth that are never quite white despite good dental hygiene, small, squinty hooded eyes, thin, straight hair, and I have no other way to describe it, day girl mouth. My lips are big but short, horizontally. Like pic related mouth only not eating 10k calories a day

No. 514745

i am not lying, these features don't paint the ugliest of pictures and i am not saying this to be nice, i am actually in a very bad mood lol. also as someone who finds all kinds of people attractive (because it's not all looks, it's everything), i'm kinda throwing it out there that maybe you are just fucking fed up seeing your shit all the time?

No. 514750

You pretty much described me but rather than the double chin I have big cheeks despite being fairly thin. Are we long lost twins or something?

No. 514761

Gee anon, I don't know if it will make you feel better lol, but I think ALR would be pretty if she lost 400 pounds? Like idk if you're posting her pic as an example of her features being like yours, but the reason why hers look so small is because her face is gargantuan. I thought that was part of the reason why she got hated on so bad, because she'd be pretty if she lost weight?

I don't really see something wrong with her lips except that they're on a 600 pound body /2c
You might be a little harsh on yourself.

No. 514762

> if you're not a kid, you're a braindead if you can play animal crossing longer than a week

Why are you so judgmental about a choice of game? For some, after a hard work day with lots of social interaction, coming home to a soft and easy game can be just what they need.

No. 514764

Probably not. But some of the shutins on this site lack ANY life experience.

No. 514765

It saddens me, but I look so much nicer at a very low weight. And painfully average when I'm healthy.

No. 514766

Please choose health over looks anon

No. 514767

File: 1581677191603.png (678.07 KB, 586x585, vocat.png)

>tfw no tall butch gf to kiss today
why even keep going

No. 514768

My girlfriend is the worst liar and doesn't even realize it

No. 514769

nayrt but i actually do like my curly hair and i think curls or some waves look better on most people but the current trend is straight hair which kind of sucks because i also notice a decrease in attention when i dont straighten it. oh well

No. 514772

I keep remembering that time in high school where my class got on the bus to go somewhere and my teacher told me to sit next to this girl because there was no space left but I didn't want to so I rolled my eyes and carried on and I feel absolutely terrible about it. The teacher was like "oh okay you don't have to" but she probably thought I was a massive bitch, and I'm pretty sure the girl was hurt too. She's most likely forgot all about it but I still feel really bad about it and I wanna apologise to her even though I don't even know her name