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>tfw wanted to save a lot of money this year
>Nintendo decides drops all this cute animal crossing themed shit
oh the new ac switch came out? gotta check it out thnx.
ps how did you find out about it?
You know, the usual>thin lips>small nose>straight hair that I can dye without destroying them>blue eyes that I can actually see with without wearing glasses or contacts>good teeth>nicer skin>less moles>small waist>larger hips>different head shape>freckles
and more but i'm poor and some of these are literally impossible to do
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Me too! I'm glad I waited. It's so fucking cute and now I'm glad I don't have to go through the trouble of buying skins to cover a plain black dock and ugly red/blue joy cons. Kinda annoyed the game doesn't just come built into the thing tho.>>509492
My twitter feed and friend circle has been nothing but pre-ordering and talking about the animal crossing switch. As much as I hate how passive aggressive a lot of nerdy artists on twitter can be, they're really good at keeping me up to date with the new stuff. Following Nintendo's official account also helps.
That just sounds depressing
As if people aren't already glued to screens and antisocial af
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It's haven't been even a week since i moved out to another city (my 6y older sister lives there and rent is much cheaper) and sis already tells me if it wouldn't be better to find a friend to rent a flat with, because it would be even cheaper. I have found current flat with her ffs. She pushes me into living only from money I earn and not taking money from dad anymore to "unburden" him which is impossible for me right now - I barely have 2 months of job experience as graphic designer and until you're few years in the industry, you will be pretty underpaid. I want to focus on getting ANY job there or even another intership, just to get more experience. As if I haven't been feeling like a burden already. I mean, my dad left me to live only with my toxic mother, have a new family now (also his youngest son is deadly ill) and I barely have a chance to talk with him because of that. Dunno if I put it into right words, but once I will stopp getting money from him (since my mom barely gives me any money), it will make me feel even more like a something he has left behind to start a new life.
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Trying not to break down crying bc I know I'll never look like this unless I get plastic surgery, microblading and enough money to afford skincare and nice clothing. Lol.
No, what I mean is that now more than ever especially on YouTube that all the top gurus are all men. Technically.
Man, I agree. I just got recommended that guy, something Welsh, after watching a woman put her makeup on (albeit her style isn't my thing but that's part of the fun, people just doing their own thing right? Btw this is a rhetorical question don't respond) And his video was like "WHAT THESE MAKEUP YOUTUBERS ARE DOING WRONG"like whoooo the FUCK are you? They're all successful YouTubers and you're like "oh they're wrong"blegit I don't even remember his first name tbh idk any of the YouTubers he featured either but idc I didn't even watch the video because I really dont care men go for the blandest pornstar look anyway so I don't even
But like for real
Be a man, do man stuff like trees I don't care about your opinion on makeups Tuuber S like reeeeeeeeee
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I'm so horrendous at my job.
It's so crushing because like, I want to do a good job… I've been told I'm amazing with the customer service part, to the point of being asked how I do it, told I have the perfect energy for it (i feel like this sounds like bragging but.. )
It's just so hard for me to focus on other things, my current location is really hectic as opposed to others, we get crazy levels of customers every hour. I'll just completely forget to do things I KNOW is my responsibility to do, or forget how to do things, even though I'll repeat it many times in my head. Or I just get overwhelmed fast. It sucks because I do work at another close location and it's so much calmer and "my speed" there… but I don't think I can relocate.
In the end of it all I think I genuinely have ADD, everything adds up, even when I'm at home, and that's just a whole nother embarrassment, even though I know I shouldn't be embarrassed by it. I have 4 other disorders ranging from fairly serious to pretty severe. Every time I start calming one disorder, something else pops up and starts fucking up my life.
At my current location, I also have a manager who targets me specifically with genuine bullying, and I'm sure it's because I slip up a lot and get confused over easy things. Usually it's just sarcasm, or snapping her fingers at me and rudely telling me what needs to be done, when I was clearly going to do it. But a little while ago she was talking to a coworker how our computers we use to clock in were broken, so I came up and asked her what was up with it, since I didn't want to not know if say, my hours didn't get logged, and she scoffed and asked me why I was "butting in on a conversation that wasn't mine," an called me rude, and then when I started getting anxious over it she just laughed and said I was too cute…
I brought that up to the manager of the other location and she told me to tell my store manager because she didn't think that the woman who was rude to me really meant it like that.. It's so awkward I feel my stomach churn at the idea of trying to talk about it, I really hate confrontation even though I know nothing'll change without it.
I can relate, anon. I think what might help you is being more organized and setting a certain schedule for yourself to do certain tasks. Write down how you should manage your time in a notebook and look back to it during your shift. Your job might have some training materials that can help, too.
Your manager sounds jerky, but I can tell you it is pretty frustrating to have to remind employees constantly about things they have been told to do several times before. Having to micromanage adults really sucks. I would tell her the language she uses isn't conducive to a good learning environment for you. Tell her you feel like she's coming off as dismissive when you genuinely want to learn and improve. Ask for guidance. Ask what she would do in a situation that you're confused about.
Customer service jobs are incredibly draining. Being a natural at interacting with people is nothing to scoff at. It sounds like you have the most important part down and that's awesome!
yeah i have actually, but the problem is that my apartment isn't insulated well so the air, though it's so warm, only can be felt like 2 feet in front of it. the ac unit can be felt throughout the whole apartment but blows neutral air that's cool, and sometimes but rarely a little teency bit warm that i can barely differentiate from the cool air.
the space heater and heated blanket i do have hold me over but barely, and it's annoying to constantly move them around the apartment to be stay warm but that's getting old
I feel you so fucking much. Some noises like loud mastication, talking on the phone, sniffing, etc. drive me so crazy I have to switch to another train car. Nobody I know feels like that so I'm just treated as a fussy bitch. I can't understand how it doesn't bother people. And as soon as we're out of the city's noises, they turn on music or something, it's like they hate silence and quiet. Imo silence has become a luxury, you can't escape noise when you're in public (and sometimes at home too if your neighbours are shit). I've got the same thing with smells such as cheap and strong perfumes, cigarette, sweat, etc. Drives me up the wall.
My solution is having noise cancelling earphones and earplugs on me at all times and, for the smells, covering my nose with a thick scarf that I wash regularly with something that doesn't smell invasive. (Only works in the winter though.) I also avoid going out when I'm already on edge.
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Every now and then I think about this guy I met online years ago on a site called iScribble. He was 16 and I was 14, I had a crush on him but kept myself to a dumb policy of 'watching from afar', then the friendship fizzled out and my computer died along with his contact details.
I'm probably misremembering, I swear he unironically headpatted me in roleplay but he also showed a real interest when I wanted to talk about dumb school shit to showing my depression which he said he could relate to. And he drew my favourite Vocaloid once, he didn't say it was for me but I think so. He said he was jealous of my drawing but he was just as good. At one point we told each other our first names, but I can't remember his anymore.
I don't know where he is now but I hope he's okay and want him to know he brought some happiness into some of the worst years of my life. Pic related is the main character he liked to roleplay as.
Misophonia is a fucking bitch. One of my worst triggers
is the sound of chewing, and it's a million times worse when it's my family. It really makes me feel like shit when the sound of my parents chewing makes me want to punch them in the face. It's such a bizarre, irrational thing, I've read that it's common to feel extra angry at your family members but it just makes me feel like a freak.
(I love the OP pic though, poor Akari)
I really didn't have issues with noise until I got tinnitus, I have a friend who's an audiologist and she said there seems to be a link between the two. Before I had no problems with the sound of chewing or drinking but now I'm so beyond disgusted by it. Those ASMR mouth sound videos make me want to punch walls. I also have "normal" tinnitus symptoms like being unable to concentrate on a specific sound when there's noise coming from several different directions, but it doesn't really annoy me on a visceral level in the same way the sounds that trigger
my misophonia do. It's so bizarre that one should feel repulsed to the point of anger by mundane noises. It really does make you feel like some sort of sperg.
Nta but I had misophonia way before I got tinnitus. I have the same triggers
as you. I find any chewing or mouth sounds absolutely repulsive.
My mom is a loud eater and she makes smacking noises and shit and it drives me insane so I eat alone whenever I can.
My friends were making fun of me once cause they were chewing gum like a cow and it was so bad and loud that I called them out. They thought I was crazy freak.
I've never called people out ever since, I don't wanna embarrass them or make myself look weird.
I've been thinking a lot about social media recently. I've been dating this guy for the past month who doesn't have social media, and the way I feel about him not having any makes me concerned for how much I've let it consume me. And I don't even think I'm a hardcore user.
I've come to realize that I hate social media and yet I don't trust men if they don't have one. I get this gut feeling about "what are you trying to hide" or "do I even really know you" and it's a little sad that I've been conditioned to feel that way.
The only social media I have is facebook. I've been hating it more and more lately because it seems like everything is tailored to lure me into buying something. From the literal ads, to my friends humblebragging about their most recent product purchases or something they did that involves money or wanting to do something together that involves money. And I'm just so sick of killing myself to feed into a system that only recognizes me if I'm pretty and vain enough for selfies everyday, or if I've got money to spend to make my life seem interesting.
I cut back on both recently and I've noticed the drop in interaction, no one ever comments and I'm lucky to get ten likes on a post anymore. Hell the shared posts get more attention than my own. It's made me feel invisible, but I've also noticed other people aren't really getting interactions much either. A friend or two ocassionally gets on my case to joint Instagram, but I don't want to do that. It's just another repackaged platform designed to keep people on a treadmill of feeling like shit.
I like using facebook's lookback features to see my past stuff, because I don't keep a journal and it makes me feel secure knowing some kind of documentation about the past decade of my life exists.
I like how I can look at events and birthdays for the millionth time because I'm too lazy to write down information, keep a calendar, or have a conversation where I ask those questions.
I like how I can know what my friends are up to virtually on demand, without necessarily having to interact as well.
I think it's making me a malsocialized person. I should just get a journal, a planner, and actually call and text my friends sometimes.
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I want to quit my current job but I’m not sure if I should apply to places that I’m not experienced with working in. I feel like I tend to “fantasize” about other types of careers without knowing if I would actually enjoy the work or not.
they sound really insecure and insufferable. friendship shouldnt be an emotional burden. do what you need to keep yourself feeling good.>>509825
awesome!!! hoping the best for you! you never know what can happen
Am I understanding correctly that the only thing your friend sees as a red flag is the age gap? She didn't name any instance that happened or a detail more specific to have made her reach that conclusion?
THEN AGAIN, it does depend on what your age and maturity difference actually is. Like if there's some kind of imbalance of power. There might be something blatantly inequal about your relationship that other people are taking notice to.
But I can't tell you what that might be because there's not enough info to judge except that you used to be a sex worker and have a history of abusive
I think I lost one of my close friends.
The reason wasn't even something I was that mad about. They vanished for few weeks to get a break from social media and I felt hurt they didn't even warn me beforehand. Like, I realized because they wouldn't respond to my messages. It bothered me a bit because how hard was it to just say hey, I'm going to be away for a while? It made me feel really insignificant. And I don't think you can just arbitrary decide you're taking a break from a (close) friendship and not talk to a person for as long as you fancy. At least you can't do it and expect the friendship to be the same afterwards…
After few weeks they're back and… still they don't explain themselves. But what got me worked up was, when I didn't respond for one evening they acted offended that I'm not replying. It was really crazy for me that they expected they can be gone without a word of explanation for days and then be mad at me for not replying instantly. This set me off a bit. We argued, long story short they put the blame on me, because apparently the "vanishing" person shouldn't contact people, people should contact the vanishing one because what if the person was about to kill themselves? So I'm a bitch for not calling them and just assuming (rightly so) that it's a sm break. But - they didn't call me too, right? I could have fucking killed myself too, maybe. It's a fucked up argument imo.
We're not talking, it's been a month. What a crazy situation, it escalated but I don't think I should surrender. They said something really unnecessary and hurtful in their defense, besides I feel like I gave up too often to just release the tension and make up, and it's time to be assertive. For self-respect. I just wanted for them to admit that was shitty. Now I probably have one close friend less, and gods know I don't have many. It feels so surreal.
It's Kaito! The version he drew was from an Alice Human Sacrifice PV, we were both into weird InSaNe shit as weeby misfits (I understand why he chose that blond doctor character now). I used it as a way to cope with my mental illness problems and I think he must've been the same way.>>509783
Oh yeah there was a ton of catfishing. There was also drama with staff banning RP or just keeping it to private, I bet it only shielded creeps who invited obvious teens to their green private boards.
An anon in your area may have got you banned by proximity, if that makes sense?
My friend used to get banned because some furry shared the same network provider as him, so the banning process just banned em both or something
I'm not sure exactly how it works
It's 100% possible to live without Facebook, you said yourself that you hate it and it sure sounds like it makes you miserable. I try to stay away from Facebook completely but I have to use Messenger which makes me feel dirty lmao Keeping a journal is a very good idea, they say the process of physically writing something helps you retain the memory and I don't have to worry about my data being hacked or leaked anywhere because it's in a book right next to me.
Keeping FB is definitely a net negative if it means you can't even be bothered remembering people's details, no offence.
I'd like to know how the guy you're dating deals with his lack of social media when it comes to jobs. I don't know how much employers care as a whole but heard there are definitely some positions out there where PR or whatever will find it suspic if they can't find anything online to your name and will pass you up in favour of someone they can find information on.
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The same thing once happened to me, anon. Don't worry too much about it. It's likely an ISP error (or an error with someone else using a VPN/proxy) and will be fixed or alleviated relatively quickly, as shitty as it is to encounter.
Once, after I'd been posting on 4chan like normal for days, I tried to post one morning only to find I'd received a ban from all boards for "ban evasion" - yet I'd never had a prior ban that I could have evaded, and the date the ban was filed (nearly a month before this day) was during a month when I didn't post on 4chan at all
. The ban claimed to be filed over a post on /ck/ that wasn't mine, as I've never posted on /ck/ in my life. I explained what'd happened in an appeal (that the poster who was initially banned couldn't be me as I'd posted for days with no trouble) and after 3 days it was read and denied, leaving me still banned. The day after, I went back on 4chan to test it out and could post just fine, with no ban in sight, even though the ban was supposed to last another month. I've never used a VPN/proxy when there and I lived alone when this happened, so there's no way someone else could've posted using a device or network of mine. Sadly, I can't really offer a solution except to just try writing an appeal or waiting it out (but do occasionally check to see if the ban magically disappeared like mine.)
In my case specifically, it's probably an ISP issue, because I use dish satellite internet with my network provided by a local company and a similar thing happened to me here on lolcow a few months ago. I'd been posting like usual for months, tried to post one morning, and was redirected to a ban page for a post made in 2018 about a cow whose threads I've never posted in (PlasticandProud - back when she was still called ScorpioAssHoe, for time reference). I wasn't even aware of this site at the time that post was made or when the ban was filed. Of course, it had long expired, so I just clicked the confirmation and was led back to the site. Nothing like that's happened to me since on either site, but I know my IP address is the same, because I've recently received short bans for posts I actually did make.
I apologize for the royal blogpost, I'm just glad to see someone else who ran into a similar problem. I still wonder what causes it to happen, though. As >>509884
said, it could be a "ban by proximity" (AKA someone on the same network as you was banned) situation, but I don't know if that can happen and if it can, I don't know how it works. I did write an appeal for that ban here even though it'd expired at that point, but never received a response, so I'm clueless.
Your provider reuses IP addresses, so when you were banned it was
due to your current IP address being used by someone else at a past date. It's happened to me a few times on lolcow. When you got the ban notice for your own posts it just meant you were still using the IP you used when you made those posts.
Your IP changes every time you reset the connection.
This reminds me of when I tried to post to /cgl/ using the wifi in my boyfriend's shared apartment but I was taken to a ban page that mentioned underage nudes or something scary like that. I immediately believed it wasn't my boyfriend, but for the rest of his time there we were uncomfortable that one of his housemates was a pedophile especially because he lived with two normie girls and one guy that was obsessed with technology.
The truth is that I don't understand how IPs work so maybe I caused him to distance himself from that guy for no reason, we'll never know
My housemate/live in landlord is throwing me out like a piece of fucking trash just because I don't like to socialise very much, even though I've done so much caring for his dog including cleaning up its shit and vomit when it got ill, taking it to the vet, feeding, walking, dealing with its stubborn and aggressive behaviour when I first moved in, etc. Also doing the shit jobs he asked me to do, like weeding the garden, which took me hours, hurt my back and I said I didn't even care about the weeds or think they where bad. Also another housemate left a shit load of meat in the fridge, big pieces of it, and I got back from holiday the whole house smelling like a fucking corpse, the blood had leaked all over the fridge and I spent hours cleaning it up. Also when I had to clean all of the maggots out of the food waste bin at the height of summer, also cleaning the rancid mood out of the shower, cleaning up other people's shit stains on the toilet so he doesn't blame me for it, clea into after other people all the fucking time because he blames me for absolutely everything. I left s pan in the sink once because I had to run out quickly and everyone else just dumped their shit in after me, and he fucking blamed me even though there's an empty dishwasher right there!
The final straw was seeing him advertising my room on spare room and basically slagging me off, saying "I don't want an untidy heathen, if you like to dwell in your room alone this is not the place for you" and also specified that he wants a dog lover because the stupid cunt can't look after his own dog because he works 8 hrs a day and then goes on constant tinder dates because he's a pathetic lonely Incel.
I want to get revenge by moving the floorboards out of the way and leaving shit loads of rotten meat and tinned fish and stuff that will just absolutely stink the house out, and he won't even know where it's coming from. I think it would be even funnier seeing as he's a vegan.
The thing is I want to make the house dirty and unclean and smelly, because I was constantly accused of it even though I clean up other people’s messes daily, including one tenant who’s dad is some sort of butcher and he gets huge chunks of meat going off in the fridge regularly. This tenant also leaves spliff and roach ends all over the garden that I have to pick up after receiving a passive aggressive WhatsApp message, about how I’m “ruining it for everyone” just because I also smoke. I have spent a good portion of my time here trying to avoid his scorn to no avail. I’d do the gross, smelly, disgusting things nobody else wanted to do. He loved to blame me because I’m an easy target, because I’m in early 20s and they’re all early 30s, and because they where friends beforehand, because they will tell him to shut the fuck up. so the other two will have plates everywhere and leave their pots and pans in the sink, dirt on the counters etc. he will send me a passive aggressive message on WhatsApp complete with a photo of the sink, I’ll tell him that’s not even my shit, he will say “if you see dirty dishes you should automatically put them in the dishwasher”
Other things like deliberately humiliating me, knocking on my door one evening, sitting on my bed, sighing deeply, then going into one about all the shit stains left in the toilets, I’m like “why do you assume it’s me? I always clean away shit stains if I leave them, I’m the main person who purchases cleaning products” he’s like “I’ve spoken to (the other two tenants) so they already know” he’s fucking been picking on me and using me to clear up after everyone in the house because I’m a fucking pushover and he knows he can get away with it. I want to leave him with a filthy rancid smell that he can’t get rid of right away, I think that’s adequate revenge.
Also we had 2 fridges and he got rid of one and threw out loads of my food, now I can’t even cook and eat here because I can’t fit my food in the fridge, can’t meal prep, there’s no space for any of my stuff in the kitchen.
I also have severe depression and an eating disorder, so while he complained that I was “eating dinner alone in my room” I was actually not eating dinner at all because I felt like an outsider, felt unwanted, didn’t feel comfortable cooking in the kitchen because I’m basically a second class citizen to these people. I also got made redundant and had to get a new job, and he won’t even give me a chance to finish my work training, so I’ll have to borrow money from family who are not doing too well at the moment.
Another thing is he won’t let anyone wash or tumble dry clothes in the daytime and we can only do it between 12 - 6 am, so we set timers on the machine, but my room is too small to hang anything up, making doing my laundry AND cooking here extremely difficult. He wants a “new year, new me” but he doesn’t give a fucking shit about making my life incredibly difficult. I want to subject him to something gross, like he subjected me to many times.
You do realize that everyone lives in their bubble and only see what the algorythms want them to see or what they chose themselves to see.
Neither your perception nor his is real life.
I was thinking of making a disgusting slop of eggs and meat and pouring it between the floorboards, don’t think I’ll even need tools. I’ve had to clean out rancid old lamb blood and mouldy, broken eggs, it’s not nice at all. It’s a viscerally terrifying smell.I’ve thought about making a flood but I don’t want anything to affect the dog, who will likely be home at the time, otherwise I’d just fill the whole house with bubbles and soap. Kek. Thanks for your advice anon.
Sorry to all about the wordy ramblings
Abort it fam, it's not worth having a connection with this utter dreg who thinks taking a girlfriend to court for a restraining order because he
cheated is logical.
Don't have anything more to do with him.
The last line: why are they forcing you? There are plenty of qualifications that aren't full degrees but will still help you get a job, plus people do get programming jobs based on at home study. What do you
want to do?
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>person I'm living with keeps buying chunk light tuna for their sandwiches instead of splurging for some solid white albacore and the shit is honestly repulsive af looks like shavings of tuna from the floor that someone threw in a can with water it's literally cat food and apparently that's no exaggeration
>>510055>>510073>The thing is I want to make the house dirty and unclean and smelly, because I was constantly accused of it even though I clean up other people’s messes daily.
You can take my perspective with a grain of salt, but I prefer not
to give people justification to continue their victim
complex against me.
Best believe anon, that those people are already aware that they are the true mess makers. Their whole scheme was to bully you into being the maid, and placing blame on you for their own shortcomings. In fact I'd wager they'd hope you slip up on your own accord or retaliate just so they could have the "proof" that you were the bad guy all along and this is the story they'll stick to when they whine to other people for sympathy.
Point being you might just wanna do some stuff that can't be traced back to you necessarily, not outright revenge stuff because then it will be obvious who did it. Things like >>510079
this anon mentioned because there's deniability. Like who's to say why the dishwasher is sudsing, or why the fridge is on the fritz and too cold? I'd go with shit like that just so it doesn't give power to their narrative against you. But that's just what I'd do.
Agreed entirely with this post. I briefly lived in a few places where I was the thankless maid, they definitely are aware of who actually does all the cleaning and are just psychologically torturing anon by being gross messes themselves and then blaming her.
Absolutely agree that she shouldn't give them evidence for their lies about her. Lots of subtle sabotages like in Amelie, where she screws the doorknobs back on the wrong way around, change the clocks, put the fridge to the lowest temperature, etc would be good because they can't be traced to her and will still mess with their week.
Anon, I hope this might help you.
Please take the time to mourn. Your manager should
understand the impact that losing a pet has, but if they don't fuck them and fuck everyone who doesn't understand how soul crushing it can be. It really is no different than losing a human family member.
I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry for your loss. You gave your dog 18 years
! 18 whole wonderful years. What an absolutely fantastic life journey it must have been. I don't know if heaven exists, but I sure as fuck hope it does for dogs. They are so wonderful and the incredibly short lives they live is so fucking unfair considering how much love and joy they bring into our terribly long lives. If doggy heaven exists, I bet your dog is running free and stuffing their face with no pain and no consequences as to what they want to eat. Imagine all the friends your dog must be making up there! Plenty of toys and food and friends to make the wait more bearable while they wait for you to join them. Fuck, I'm about to cry just typing this up.
I hope you'll take at least a day off. Please be kind to yourself.
I get what you're saying but like you said, they are bullies. Bullies don't back down when you cater to them, they back down when you stop taking their shit. Even if she leaves the house spotlessly they'll keep their narrative of her being the lazy sloppy housemate that leaves shit stains.>>510073
OP, you just need to make sure they won't find a way to retaliate against you even though they seem to be the lazy type of bullies that only attack when it's easy and convenient. For example, make sure you have taken all of your belongings out of the house and all of you papers are in order before going revenge.
There's a huge difference between doing your part yet setting little annoyance traps, versus "catering" to them anon.
Being outright vengeful is just gonna escalate their responses. You even admit they're gonna retaliate.
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Thank you anons. I’ve decided my meat paste idea is disproportionate and psychotic lol, I love the movie Amelie and I may take some inspiration from that or elsewhere. I agree about not giving them ammunition. I want to do something (if anything) that I can deny but also something that won’t make me look gross lmfao. I don’t know if I’ll go as far as having the key cut before I leave…maybe, who knows.
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It’s entirely my own fault I know, but I’m stuck in a puddle of self pity. I moved from my hometown to take a high paying job in a highly desirable area and I really regret it. I just want to go back to my shitty hometown and be with my white trash friends again. I feel incredibly alone out here and I’m afraid at 29 it’s going to be hard to make new friends or find a relationship. I think I waited too long to get out.
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ALL men are the same. ALL of them. Not ONE is not a coomer. NOT ONE.
My ex best friend used to joke about having sex with my older brother all the time and it, obviously, made me uncomfortable. Today I joked about it with him and I thought he'd think it was gross too (how naive) but instead he said she could 'get it' and he wants her number… they're the same age so it isn't a big deal but it still feels terribly uncomfortable and I'm reminded once again to not put my brother on a pedestal above other men. She's supposed to be Muslim.
THEY ARE ALL COOMERS! I don't understand how anyone can want to fuck someone they're not emotionally connected to, but I guess most men disconnect sexually? It just makes me feel a little sad and a little dirty. He said he may just talk to her and I know he's joking about actually fucking her but gosh I'm still disturbed.
I just didn't want to be alone today. Of all days, today was probably one of the hardest of the year and I just couldn’t…I couldn’t be alone again. Not on a day like this when memories of the worst that had happened in my life are stronger than ever, not when I can’t stop crying until I almost pass out, not today.
And he went and spent more than twelve hours missing, just hanging around with some friends and I know tomorrow I’ll be told I’m the crazy one but I’m not, I’m not. I just wish he could text me, just a little message to let me know he was fine, or asking me how I was, just something.
And now he’s home again and I’m wondering why I still love him after all these years, why I can’t get her back and not him, what would she tell me right now and I can’t breathe, it’s too much, because I have to see him and her picture behind him and it’s not fair, and my mind starts telling me this is what I deserve because I accepted him in the first place and I knew what was coming.
I’m sorry, I’m being confusing again…
I can’t remember the last time I like-liked someone seriously. I crushed a lot when I was 12/13ish on boys because it was fun, all my friends had crushes. Looking back, I view that time as more of a social ‘hobby’ I did to have something to talk about with my friends - I don’t remember ever really liking the boys or talking to them.
As high school went on I just never liked anyone, then I left, didn’t go to college, and now I’m 21 and haven’t had a relationship. I feel genuinely awkward around boys (men now?) ugh. I don’t know. Theres this horrible pressure in me that I should have had my first kiss by now, I should have had multiple partners or /at least/ a high school sweetheart that I had all my firsts with. But no ones has ever shown interest in me in that way and I’ve never felt that way inclined towards anyone. Like it’s shameful that I’ve not checked off those things in life that people expect you to have done by a certain age.
I can tell I’m getting to that point where I do long for a relationship though, but more just the intimacy. I’d love to hold hands with someone, hug, be close with, know little personal things about each other. Right now it feels like just a fantasy to be that exposed with another person. It’s ridiculous, I don’t even know what ‘type’ of person I like, but my brain is jumping to craving that long-term-committed-relationship level of affection. Ugh.
Your feelings are very valid
. Many people in your situation would have the same. But remember: you don't HAVE to had your first kiss yet. Nobody HAS to do anything.
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It makes me irrationally angry when people on lolcow call other anons “femcel” as an insult unironically, anyone who thinks that’s not a shameful thing to do doesn’t belong here and should be eternally banished from the site like the worthless normies they are. Like so fucking what, I’m a depressed shut in, I’m not interested in having sex or making myself look attractive, i want to be left the fuck alone yet I have my opinions on my own life invalidated And get silenced just because I’m not being piped, as if it’s not the easiest thing in the fucking world to get some average Male to be a fuck buddy. The only girls in this site that think that’s an insult are just ascended femcels themselves, who have to actually try when they want cock (ugly) therefore think it’s an achievement. applies tenfold for “terf” or any other social justice newspeak dogwhistles. They’re like PULL users, aka fine with abuse, nitpicking, jealousy and bullying as long as nobody says a no no word. Also I hate how judgemental people are, like if you exibit any behaviour that isn’t that of a cloyingly phoney weeb trying to get Male attention on Reddit then you’re a bitch, a psycho or an evil person. So what, it’s funny to be a fucking bitter cunt sometimes, it’s funny to be contrary and haughty and pissed off, sometimes it’s cathartic to rant and to vent, these people have no idea how nice we are in real life to the people around us, they just think this is our personality 24/7 just because they spend their entire lives on the internet. The worst is when they do it in the unpopular opinion or vent threads, that deserves a severe gulagging.
What about it is hypocrisy? I’m just saying it annoys me irrationally. They make it like some sort of popularity contest when it’s an anon image board famous for its feminine brand of autism. Nobody cares how pretty and sexually experienced you are, some of us are, some of us are not, it doesn’t make any of us more or less valid
. Only when people act like fucking retarded Reddit/tumblr normies.
You sound toxic
Oh yeah misophonia is a real cunt, and no one takes it seriously. I luckily only have loud chewing and snoring as my triggers
but i swear i have ruined so many family vacations since i had to share a hotel room with my family and my dad snores like a fucking lawnmower which made me have a mental breakdown and cry myself to sleep in the bathtub every time, which turned me into a super bitch the day after because, well, no sleep. Havent gone on vacation with them since i was 14 i think. I'm moving out soon but i still have to wear earplugs with music or LOUD white noise if i go to bed later than my parents because we share a wall and even the faintest sound of snoring keeps me up and im unable to focus on anything else and i turn into a ragebeast. Weirdly enough i dont have a problem with my bf snoring but he isnt nearly as bad and as you said, i think people with misophonia feel extra angry at family members.
High school bullyesse? Is that you? Damn I guess I was describing you a tad bit too obvious, my apologies. Stay away from me and my body though pls you still give me nightmares.
Why do a lot of people here have anger issues btw?
Kek, great reply.
Gotta love how fast people in here attack people who show open resentment to their sexual abusers and harassers. Idk what do they expect tbh for us to talk about them all nicey and shit? It's difficult to forgive and talk nice of someone who gave you a goddamn trauma even if it's something that happened in high school. Such a lack of empathy from their part.
Trannyanon would rather see the poor person reduced to genitals that don’t even work properly kek.
Nobody has to be feminine just because they’re a female.
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had a dream that an old friend messaged me apologizing for what happened between us and wanting to make amends and be friends again. irl me is over it but dream me is clearly still hanging on, at least a little bit.
that was literally me up until recently. i spent 11 years with someone who was okay with me just coasting by and never improving. i finally got a job and tried to put myself out there and now im out of a shit relationship, making money and actually having some amount of fun.
please dont stifle your personality and dreams for someone. its so very lonely
exactly… in my dream i was practically happy-crying, the apology meant so much and i genuinely missed them and was glad to hear from them.
it's a shitty way to wake up
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My cat is 14 this year, and I know it's morbid to think about but I'm going to miss him so much when he passes away. After I finish college I'm planning on moving countries and I don't want to take him with me because I think it's slightly selfish and it doesn't seem to be the best idea to move an elderly cat. He means so much to me, he's so comforting.
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I’m so sorry anon I wish I could give you advice but I’m going through basically the same shit for 10+ yrs and it’s so hard to get treatment. I hope you are loved and cared for by people irl cos you deserve it.
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Identify what it is you want that you think men have and you can’t have, maybe it’s more within your reach than you think? You can also be gender nonconforming without any chemical intervention. Work out, dress how you like, act how you like and butch it up if it’ll make you happy. But you might have clinical depression so definitely see a therapist if you can. I hope you find something that helps.
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Where did the pinkpill thread go? Honestly was the most uncucked place on this board.
well, personally, i did group therapy. my body issues weren't brought up since it'd be a little awkward in that setting, but it gave me a sense of belonging and taught me valuable coping skills. each person could talk a bit, and we'd do something like a worksheet, or a group exercise, all based on developing the skills you need to manage the emotions that brought you to group in the first place. so group made me feel stronger in general, which lead to me building up some self-esteem.
for more personal stuff, like my body issues, i saw a therapist one on one. i couldn't see her often so i stopped going tbh. group was more helpful than any personal therapy sessions i did, but i don't discourage anyone from trying. it could do more for you than it did for me, you know? but yeah, i'd come in, she'd ask how my week(s) were, and i'd bring up anything difficult that happened. if there wasn't anything, i'd talk about any other issue i'd been thinking about. or even just talk abot food things that happened. shortly before i stopped going, i ended up asking her for dbt type stuff since that's what helped me most, so she started giving me worksheets. that's just me though, as i'm fairly introspective and get the same out of one-on-one talk therapy as i do from journaling. try out different things though, for example i thought i would hate group therapy but it was the best things i'd ever done for myself.
NTA but remember when you didnt need to dig deep into the crates into super obscure music to find some semi decent song? lmfao
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I wish I could go to the arcade with farmers and win shit from the claw machines for u and do karaoke and embarrass u with my attempts at Dance Revolution Arcade.
I almost went and vomited all of my issues onto my socials because I'm feeling so crappy, but I'm glad I didn't, because I am really trying to pull away from that kind of shit. I don't think it helps anything and I definitely don't want fucking weirdos and randos who follow me knowing what goes on in my life besides surface stuff.
My dad is MIA right now because apparently he got into a(NOTHER) fight with his wife who is a worthless cunt, but he is a piece of shit, too. His phone is off, nobody has seen or heard from him except her. I have wanted her to get the fuck out of our lives for a long time. He was doing just fine before she came along. He would tell me, "I'll never treat another woman like your mother again in my whole life. I have to live with that and it sucks. Your mom didn't deserve it." Then this bitch comes along with her alcoholism and drug use and her "I CAN FIX HIM REEE" shit and she has him fucked him and arguing with her constantly and getting him so fucked up he blacks out and hits her, and she calls the police to get him arrested and cries to us that he's so horrible to her, etc. FUCKING LEAVE. It's been over 5 years and you haven't figured out that you CANNOT FIX HIM. JUST LEAVE. He is abusive, he is a fucking abuser. But when he was single the only person around to get the brunt of it was me. And he would control himself because I'm his daughter. What the fuck makes your dumb ass think you can change him? he's a fucking narc and an addict. why would another addict be able to fix him…. some dumb backwards shit.
I hate them both, but tonight I have anxiety over not knowing where he is or if he's ok, and I want to know if he's going to just go back to their place and pretend like everything's fine until this happens again in a month, like clockwork. I'm just in a fucking rut right now. I know I'm having a codependent. It's hard not to sometimes because he raised me. Like, when you feel like you should help, but you KNOW for your own sanity and for your own family's sake you shouldn't.
Golden child doesn’t have any talents (that I know of) and she’s a productive member of society. She’s been golden for 23 years (24 this year) and most of the time has everything handed to her. Mother likes to call me her best friend but I see she puts more trust in her than she ever did me but I try not to let it get to me, have forgiven them both and am trying accept she’s the favorite in the family to completely move on.
I wish my youngest sister didn’t post the Spanish quinceñera meme, I didn’t want to relive that part of our lives.
I can’t believe I’m 28 and am still hurting over this
Damn anon, you could be me.
From my experience, my sister has no life skills due to being coddled by my parents. She is more prominent to making financial mistakes without my parent's help. When she graduates college and begins to truly live on her own, there's going to be failure. I can definitely see her living back at home trying to find a well paying job, but still being kept down by my parents not letting her do something fully independently. I witnessed this first-hand, my mom who neglected me since my sister was born tried so hard to break me financially and mentally the moment I moved far away to be truly independent. She was so, so close to achieving that. Living off of $30 to your name for a few weeks isn't fun. This is definitely why my sister sucks up to my parents. As long as my parents get a benefit of my sister's educational successes, they'll continue to fund it. They're already starting to burden her with financial issues now that I'm out of the picture.
Before, I used to be burdened with everything. I decided not to continue a higher education because my parents kept guilting me for the littlest things, down to the classes I took even though financial aid covered them. It was a mental hell and I decided to get a job. Even then, a job was not enough. Every job I had, my mom said I should've found a better paying one. From that moment I knew I needed to leave as soon as possible or else I probably would've been worse mentally.
I can only hope my sister sees my narc mom and enabler dad for what they truly are. I truly wish her the best. I don't want her to end up just taking care of them when they get old.
I live in Asia, and a lot of people have been getting the cold here (or maybe flu). I got a runny nose and dry throat (resulting in coughing) since yesterday, and earlier this afternoon I fucking got diarrhea.
If this isn't the virus I've been asking for, then god, why let me suffer.
This can actually be true though and not something just in your head so no it's not daddy issues.
Furthermore if you're talking about men it's true that for a lot of them, if you treat them distant and cold they just seek to chase you more which explains orbiters.
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>he wants to start going on dates
>going on dates means having to dress nice and not so casual
>have only ever worn tennis shoes and vans because I have big, flat feet thanks to my dad’s side of the family
>can’t wear cute shoes like flats, converse, etc. because it looks stupid
>don’t like wearing short sleeved shirts outside of home because of keratosis pilaris
I can’t wear cute outfits that I want because I’ll look like a fucking idiot and I don’t want to gross him out with my arms. This sucks, but it’s so funny to me. Anons, be happy you’re not me. In case anyone is wondering, I’m a size 11 in women’s and 5’7 or 170 cm.
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Every weekday feels the same to me.
I wake up, struggle to go in to work that I'm usually late to, carry out repetitive tasks, go home when it's dark, overeat, consume media, and then sleep. I'd squeeze in exercise but most days I'm too tired and apathetic to care. I usually smoke some weed every night to numb my sadness and help me sleep.
Socially it's even worse. All my coworkers are older so it's hard to really relate to them. They seem to think good of me but nothing happens beyond polite small talk.
The only person I see and talk to everyday is my stepdad. My friends sometimes get ahold of me to do something on the weekend or plan an event for the upcoming month but there's really nothing in between. It makes me feel isolated and super depressed.
I put in some applications to do volunteer work just so I could have something to do and potentially meet new people. I tried following up but the organizers tell me they just haven't gotten to the applications, it's been a month and a half. Lol I could volunteer my time and literally no one wants me.
I suffer romantically. There's a guy I've been going on dates with for the past month but we haven't had the bf/gf talk yet. They are nice dates when we have them but they only happen on a weekend and usually just one. I feel we're good together in person but he's a bad communicator otherwise when we are apart. I want him to text me more. When we first started seeing each other he texted me somewhat consistently but now he will only text to schedule our date. I've tried to say how I like him and wanted him to text me more, but the way I approached it came off as passive aggressive cause I was upset at the time, so the texting issue never improved. I'd settle for a phone call. He claims he's busy at work, which is probably true because he works AI for the government. I wonder if his insomnia and adhd contributes to the issue? I can't tell if I'm being too clingy or needy over someone I've only known for a little over a month? I just know I feel like shit. Ah, well.
Currently I'm on a dry spell when it comes to dates. I vet pretty hard these days cause I try not to waste my time with men when I know it won't work out. The problem is because I'm not super attractive I tend to get pretty low quality guys, so when a decent guy with good prospects comes along I gobble him up. It's harder for me to get someone cute, respectful, and my age. I recently blocked two others I was talking to, because I saw red flags. Maybe I'm just contributing to my own feelings of loneliness for not giving everyone a chance but by god I can't stand being burned for lowering my standards anymore.
Guess I could try making friends online again. What's the harm?
Thanks for reading my vent.
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Your bf obv likes how you look hence wanting to be seen out w/ you and in cute outfits. The shoe thing is tricky, I have extremely thin feet and struggle with comfortable shoes. If you really don’t like your arms there’s long sleeved or 3/4 dresses/tops, cardigans, shawls, jackets, blouses, blazers etc. Just wear something smart and matching, you don’t have to wear a racy instathotty outfit or anything. What about a dress kind of like pic related (colour doesn’t matter) with some pumps/court shoes?
I had my mattress on the floor for about a year and preferred it at first but then winter came and even at 30 years old I found getting up out of it was a pain on cold days. That and I could smell something musty where there was no ventilation under the mattress. I eventually got a metal bed frame with wooden slats underneath for ventilation.
Mold is something to think about. Maybe japanese futons are less inclined to have those issues compared to mattresses though?
The funny thing is my sister moved in with her abusive
and controlling bf a few years ago but they still pay for her medical expenses. If she ever went to college they’ll probably pay for that too; everyone else, “go fuck yourselves”. However, because I live with them, I’m expected to pay the tab whenever we go out to eat and other necessities.
This may be a bit of a reach but sometimes professors grade on overall course progress. So if your friend started out like garbage but over time displayed a deeper and more exact understanding of the subject, that's something a professor might take notice of. Another anon said she might just be a better test taker and that's possible as well.
I found that sometimes professors were more harsh or expected greater things from students whom they knew had a better baseline of knowledge on the material.
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I just want to lose the 10kgs I gained last year so I can wear cute clothes again, why the hell is the process so slow?? I'm bordering on going full ana-chan to speed it up because I'm so disgusted with my body and hate how tight my clothes feel, what's the highest possible calorie deficit I can do without having my internal organs shut down
pic related it's me every day of my diet
I am disgusted, first of all. I broke up with a complete loser after a number of years. And yes, I am a fool for ever lowering my standards. Yet, this is the vent thread and not the self reflection thread so let me go on
I just got told, that my ex. Would visit brothels, got told the exact locations, times and who paid etc. and he would fuck trannies!!!!! Now I always suspected he was gay, or bicurious most definitely not straight, and I know to the younger dumb af generation being a they and gender confused and being a whore is totally empowering and in rn, but it fucking is gross as fuck. I don't give a fuck if this seems homophobic. I call men faggots that hate women and love men. Even if they aren't sticking their dicks in each other, if someone's a misogynist, they're a faggot to me. I think women should push for faggot meaning anyone who is anti woman, because that's what a lot of faggot behaviour is. They're either harming women or trying to exploit them or attempting to larp as one by perpetuating bitchy stereotypes and think sex dolls are the height of femininity.
Anyway. My ex boyfriend fucked multiple trannies. Not even that, but he paid for sex multiple times at brothels. I'm getting tested by the doctor. I broke up with him because he got back into his party drugs and cocaine and mdma and hanging out with UVF scumbags and ran out on me one night to go to a coke party which I ended up going to, got sexually assualted while looking for my bf who had already been kicked out at that point who i later found wondering the streets with his most of his clothes missing and his trousers undone. Luckily I have my own life and goals and place that I was always able to leave but I never really caught him red handed doing anything apart from drugs. Yet. Tonight. I got told a lot of shit about him. I didn't even let the person know what I knew, everything just started adding up. We've been broken up for months and now people are gleefully telling me this shite.
Where was all this information when I was dating him??? So many people are now happy to tell me that I deserve better and no one could understand what I was doing with a scumbag like him, but no one told me shit about him???? If someone would have told me your bf goes to brothels and fucks anything I would have been like THANK U LET ME DITCH THIS FRUIT. The friend that is telling me shit is like "Now I don't want to get involved…" It's over now! I would have preferred you to have got involved while I was dating him. I feel humiliated. I just kept telling the person this is so embarrassing for me. They were like how is it embarrassing for you, it's embarrassing for your ex. And it's like, I dated the tranny lover?
I've never had issues getting a guy. Every guy I've ever liked I've gotten to date or be with. I know I am an attractive woman and I'm financially independent with a good head on my shoulders. I never really suffered from a lack of confidence, in fact I probably can come off as narcissistic to some people because things just work out well for me. I feel like this is a slap in the face lol. Fucking trannies???? I feel like exposing these fucking brothels and letting women know that live in Belfast that brothels are fucking everywhere. If they're not fucking some eastern european 16 yo pretending to be 22 and up for it, they're fucking a tranny. There is nothing empowering about sex work. What is empowering about men cheating or using whores for their benefit. It's not like these "women" are getting pleasure. They're being paid for their confidentiality, silence and hole. That's it. Christ, I was near suicidal working a customer service job with inbound calls that never stopped. At least I didn't have to get fucking penetrated in my orifices to meet targets. No one would recommend sex work to their mates or family ever.
I'm so sick. Society is fucked. Porn sickness is real. What the fuck is empowering about letting people with 3 inch dicks do what they want to you? I am aghast
I feel you anon. When my bf cheated on me, no one told me and they knew about it. They looked me in the eye and said nothing.
It’s humiliating to find out during or afterr a relationship. I was going to say get tested but I read you’re already doing that. I hope you’re ok and your rage is justified.
Bloody hell anon, I feel this energy and I empathize. I agree that any man who fucks a tranny is repulsive, no less one who's going behind your back and potentially exposing you to harmful fag STDs.
How fucking despicable. I think I remember your coke bf from past times you've vented about him but this takes the cake. I hope your tests come back clean, I'd be horrified.
Also don't accept the weak ass excuses from your friends. In fact, consider ditching these so called friends too! I can't believe not once did they attempt to bitch out your shitty ex bf or let you know. Fucking whores behind a significant other's back is serious business. "But I don't wanna get involved" is something I'd say over a spat of housing decor or childrearing methods, not ignoring the fact that someone's man is fucking other men and possibly giving the woman a disease! It's outrageous. Clearly these friends get something out of you being in shit relationships, maybe to make themselves feel better who knows.
I had a few profs who pulled this kind of shit as well. I think I recall only one ever having a productive critique and never singled anyone out.
It amazes me that they think embarrassing students is a great idea.
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>spend an hour making a beat
>it sounds horrible
>about to delete everything I just created but then FL Studio crashes on me
Thanks anon, this made me smile! I hope things get better for you too, you seem like a great person.>>510502
From a country in Europe with free public healthcare and I can't afford to go private so I'll just most likely get the same person again. Thanks though, I'm still going to try!
>>511777>killing yourself over student debt and having to take one extra class
You're so close anon, it would be stupid to end it now.
Since graduating in 2015 I've had $8k added to my pile just in interest. I don't give a fuck anymore. Vote politicians that promise to eliminate or reduce student loan debt, no one should have to pay back unfair and predatory loans while other developed countries get theirs for free or next to nothing. You will be a valuable contributor to society for being educated and presumably eventually obtaining a skilled job, you'll repay your 'debt' to society one way or another. So don't stress the number, and remember to file yearly for income based repayment so you won't get fucked with monthly repayments.
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I'm turning 25 this month and I have done nothing with my life. I've had clinical depression since I was 17 so I've always had trouble getting motivated to improve my situation. I work the same dead end job since I was 18, the only change I made in my life is getting transferred out of my hick town to the big city. I dreamed of coming here since I was a teenager, but now I'm miserable, I miss my parents and have nobody to talk to. All I do is work and most of my paycheck goes to rent and bills. I'm getting more depressed and slipping back into my old neet habits.
I want so badly to draw regularly and be able to sell my art for a living but I just don't have the energy anymore. In December I got into the routine of drawing every morning, I was doing pretty good but in January I just crashed, now I can barely get out of bed in the morning let alone bring myself to put energy into anything creative. My brain is completely fried from years of mental illness, I feel like an alzheimer's patient, I have big holes in my memory day to day, I forget words, I'm trying to write stories or think up ideas for drawings and I have to write them down right away or they're gone forever.
I just want to move back in with my parents, but I spent all my savings moving here and I don't want it to be for nothing. What can I even do. I feel old and like my life is over. At 19 I thought that I would be functional and have my shit together by now but everything is the same. I tried to be optimistic for 2020 but my future looks so bleak and I'm so so tired and ready to die
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cannot stand how the only people who try to support the author are the people who are the least affected by the drama or the history that the scientists name carries (nearly all western fans tbh). it's so incredibly stupid how hard they're trying to suck up to horikoshi, he has fucked up and we all know it. the least thing he needs is some support from wack fans, just let everyone roast him and his show
Really? I find that kind of surprising tbh. What do they say?>>511818
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I’m the same age as you anon, dealing with the same shit. I feel like a fucking failure and I feel constantly run down and exhausted from feeling so emotional or numb. I just want to make a living off of my creative writing or my painting.
Sending you love and understanding anon.
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I have no idea what to do with my life because I have choices but if I choose wrong I can't go back because I have limited money.
Like I want to get an education but what if I pay but don't like it?
I want to get into IT stuff but all the classes require you to have some knowledge already or are in a different town and I can't afford to travel an extra hour.
I'd also need a car but shit's expensive and with my current job I might be able to afford a shitty care in like 3 years. Maybe.
Can't get a better job without a car or better/different education.
I thought about moving out to a bigger city but with roommates but there are only like 7 listings with expensive places that keep getting reposted.
I just hate everything. I miss being with my ex fiance and having everything figured out.
I think you meant to reply to me.
I'm not a fashion hitler (I kinda don't care about fashion in general) but I am a doll collector so it always strikes me as odd.
But the thing is when I was younger there was a pretty famous deviantartist who would draw lolita styles (it was a male so inb4 "judging /us/" again) which while I liked his art when I was a kid, now that I'm older, I kinda realize he was perpetuating the wrong idea of lolita fashion and also his art wasn't really that good but it was better than most western-lolita artists at the time so idk. Maybe he had some influence in the lolita community, idek.
Thanks for proving why 'depression is not a personality' is bs (even if it was not your intention) lmfao.
Maybe whining was not the best coping mechanism, but at the time it was all you had.
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Can someone just reassure me that I'm overthinking and need to calm down? Sorry, this will be long winded.
I'm used to relationships moving fairly quickly but I realize these days that it's actually a red flag when men move quick.
Ex. My last long term relationship of 4 years started bc my ex left with me from a bar and never left my apartment. So he never had a courtship phase with me and I didn't get to know who he was first before he was living with me. I didn't see anything wrong at the time because it felt good to believe someone wanted me that badly. Huge mistake and it cost me.
Well, obviously I want to take things slower with any new men. A lot has changed in the five or so years I've been out of the dating pool. Things are very different, I feel like men are a lot more conniving and are just trying to get the most out of women for the least. Not to mention the type of relationship that I'm trying to date for (marriage, buying a house together, maybe kids) severely limits my pool because most men really aren't interested in serious relationships. Lots of guys hate responsibilities and commitments. I can't even tell you the amount of times the men I've liked turned out to be poly or want open relationships, yuck. Seems like most would be content with a coolgirl who has no demands so all they have to do is go to work, watch porn, and play video games when they get home. I digress.
Enter this guy who I'll call Brian. Brian seems to be good on paper. He has a good job, educated, and has his own place. Claims he doesn't have social media, lets me into his phone to pick spotify music. He's younger than me by five years. He is pretty normie, although he seems into some aspects of geek culture. My favorite is that he isn't obsessed with video games and agrees that they're unhealthy in excess.
Our dates have been great and he seems to be thoughtful and talkative when we are on them. He drives to me to pick me up, opens doors, pays for meals, etc.
The rest of the time though? Radio silence. He only texts me to plan a date. The last time he texted me briefly was on Sunday when I texted him first to ask how his palindrome day was (I know I'm cringe). Based on the track record we tend to have one date per weekend. It's Thursday and he hasn't texted me or anything. When we hung out Saturday he hinted at Valentine's Day. I have a sinking dread that he intends to skip this weekend and ignore me until he wants to do something for next weekend. Ugh.
It's not that I don't have other plans or that I can't keep myself busy. It's just that I really like him, and I wish he would engage with me a bit more. I tried to bring up his lack of communication playfully. Two weeks ago I texted him a pic of something I was working on and captioned it "Hey if you still care about me and my silly projects check this out!" It came off as passive aggressive. I apologized and just said how I liked him and wished he texted me more…yet nothing changed haha. He still doesn't text me.
There's reasons, I guess. He told me he's an insomniac and has a busy work schedule, and apparently he has adhd. Could be true, could be not true, could be a half truth. I didn't press the issue. It's not attractive for women to chase men or come off as clingy and I realize that.
We had really bad-took-his-virginity sex on our third date. I'm starting to think I didn't do myself any favors and probably shown my hand too early. Is it a wonder that I'm wanting more of this guy after only knowing him for two months? I think I'm expecting too much. Maybe this amount of distance is normal as he seems to treat me decent on our actual dates. I feel like I'm overreacting, but on the other hand, what if I'm not and this guy just isn't as into me as I'd hoped? Guess I'm so used to mistreatment and some guys ghosting me that I may be looking too hard into this issue–if you could even call it one. It's like for all he's done for me, I still can't trust him fully because he's a man and I'm just so anxious that if I let my guard down that I'll get screwed over somehow.
I have a friend with a personality disorder and hearing about it made me really question what personality is and where disorders fit into it.
I hate seeing people post about their diagnosis daily though. When an illness lasts for years people get burnout from hearing about it too. I left twitter but my old feed was full of vague updates like 'low mood today or anxiety kicking my butt today'
What should I do?
It just seems like my results weren't better when I was assertive and went after what I wanted. I feel like I got shat on more than anything.
Thank you for your answers!
Tbh I have 0 knowledge about these stuff (I let my little brother handle this for me because I never really cared nor am I good at anything that has to do with PC/Internet so yeah). I appealed just now so I'll just wait what they gonna do.
At least I realized that I should learn more about these things for my own sake.
He's a fucking virgin. He's obviously not mature enough for the relationship you want. Inexperienced people tend to be more distant and lack empathy because they never had that kind of proximity. Especially when there is no love at first sight.
Keep seeing him but don't limit yourself. Go on another dates with other people.
>>511988>keep dating other people
That could relate to my feelings right now. I just gone done cutting off and blocking other potential dates for incompatibilities or being idiots. There's a few who would date me but I find them incompatible or unattractive.
It's tough when there's no conceivable options.
I feel like this mentality fucked me over a lot in college. Pretty much everyone in my friend group was like this. We were all super big on tumblr and weeb shit, it was always a lowkey competition of 'whos the most depressed bitch in this house' even though we all tried to be supportive of each other. Looking back on it, it was a shitty environment to be in. One girl in particular who was my roommate for a semester would constantly not go to class because she was sick or too sad that day. She was eventually kicked out (twice
lol) because her piss poor attendance alone for multiple classes caused her to fail. She would always go on about her depression and her OCs and how she's just trying her best to be happy. On occasion I check her twitter and she still goes on and on about the same thing. It's not that wild that she hasn't changed, but fuck.
Living with a bunch of people who glamorized mental illness, especially during times when I genuinely struggled with it (I think we all truly did, but none of us really wanted help for it otherwise we would just be basic normie bitches) really fucked me up. After leaving college and getting away from those people, I was just left with some bad brain shit and zero ways to cope with my emotions and struggles in a healthy way. I do a lot better now and I wonder what the fuck was fun or glamorous about struggling and feeling sad and why I wanted so desperately to be in that state all the time. I know they're still lowkey glamorizing all of that shit, while also retweeting shit on twitter saying "can you believe people go to bed early and go to the gym to exercise and process their negative emotions in a healthy manner?" BITCH THAT COULD BE YOU IF YOU STOPPED WALLOWING IN YOUR OWN SHIT FOR TWO SECONDS.
I'm a different anon you dumbfuck
You just sound like a bitch
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>when you like a band but they're foreign so you want to translate their wikipedia page into English but then you go on the website where they posted music on and the people from their country says their music is shit and that none of their songs are good
Maybe your gut feeling is correct and these aren't people who like you and want to be your friend. Imo it's kind of weird to make friends at the gym unless you already know someone who can introduce you to a circle.
People are at the gym to be sweaty and perform a routine, I don't think they expect to entertain conversations with randoms. No offense anon. I think you'll have better luck at someplace else.
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Joshua. This is my favorite song by them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu0g3wekmHg
And some of their album reviews translated into English:>I didn't like it… (…) not a single melody resonated with me (…) Soon to be forgotten.>Just horrible>Not quite sure I understand what they're trying to accomplish…>Completely tasteless. I don't know where these people find the courage to produce such colorless pieces… Totally useless music.
It was my first time going to a class. I frequent the gym often, hanging out in the weight room and just keeping to myself browsing on my phone while exercising. Today, I didn't try to approach anybody, I was just was waiting for the class to start and the ladies also waiting pulled me into their talking circle. It was an awkward friendly. It was such a short interaction, like 5 minutes at most, we were just discussing birdhouses lol.
I've been told I have a really soft voice, so maybe that's a big reason why people talk to me like I'm fragile at first.
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I got a C- in a ONE CREDIT core class last semester it is literally the only thing keeping me from fully graduating. I needed just a straight C or else it doesn’t count. This class has literally nothing to do with my degree or my career path, but I’m still stuck. My school accidentally posted my degree to my account (obviously I wasn’t going to correct them), sent me my diploma and JUST TOLD ME TODAY after TEN DAYS TO FIX IT that they are in the process of rescinding my degree anyways. My dad has already seen the diploma and if it goes missing he will be really suspicious. My father is incredibly emotionally abusive and I know that if he finds out what’s happened he will kick me out. I will lose my car, phone, computer, shelter, everything. He will never speak to me again. I got an e-mail saying that I needed to return my diploma but I told them that I’m fucking keeping it. I will take this stupid fucking class but I cannot let my dad know what’s happened. That stupid ducking piece of paper that lets everyone know I’m worthy of not living in poverty is staying with me.
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>the only person who even cares enough to text me is an old unattractive autogynephile with an underbite who thinks he's in my league
Aaaaaaand there goes my self esteem.
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Anons, STOP USING THEM!!
And delete Instagram!
They do you absolutely no good. Stop using them before your self esteem gets worse, browse r/instagramreality , look at unshooped pictures of makeupless women, etc.
LOVE YOURSELVES AS YOU ARE!
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I hate having PMS. I keep on having emotional outbursts. I feel really sad right now… for absolutely no reason! Today was an amazing day, nothing went wrong, and I'm very sad. The only reason I can think of is hormones and my period. Why do we go through this almost every month? I'm also angry, and happy, and horny.
I'm kind of in a similar boat. I was supposed to graduate like 2 years ago, but I made the stupid decision of doing things to please my parents, moving courses when I should have just stuck through with my original course and now I can't get a degree at all without putting myself in debt because I suck so hard at my current course.
You can make it, especially if you have never failed a course before and have no other things weighing you down. I believe in you.
Light exercise helps me handle my PMS symptoms better. Also, masturbating helps. It's all temporary relief, so make sure you do these things every 2 - 4 days.
I don't have the experience, but I have heard people swear by this progesterone cream you rub on your body during PMS and during your menstrual cycle. It apparently helps with your mood and cramping.
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kek I just tried it and I looked like a freak. >tfw my face is so fucked up not even insta filters can save it
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My coworkers are planning on holding a get together soon but I don't know if I can stomach it tbh. My romantic life, social life, work life, and home life have all left me feeling utterly pathetic and it's been weighing me down as of late. One of my coworkers, who's an uncoventional stacey to the max, is going to be there. She's really nice, so I can't hate on her too much, but have you ever met those kind of girls who's cute, and outgoing, and EVERYBODY just loves? It's miserable to be around. It's by no means her fault, but seeing how everyone engages her and has fun around her whilst I'm drowning in my insecurity and feeling all alone and undesirable sucks. And maybe it's paranoia but I get the sense that my coworkers are catching on to my bitter feelings. Bailing would definitely raise some suspicions but I seriously worry I won't be able to let loose and have fun.
Agreed when I used it it made me look like a child. Even the girl who made it looks freakish lol
Second what anon said about Instagram/reality! Anons I’m sure you’re all beautiful
This is so common with trannys, to claim jealousy over someone they're close to and demand the other person "change" so they can discover themselves lol.>>512324
Retard, which artists are you talking about? Because they're probably not as obscure as you think
You can never be too trusting. She tried it twice.
Not good friend material.
I hated group work too and uni
Uni is overrated
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I'm salty because I get the feeling this guy I've been going on dates with is gonna flake on me for valentine's day. Or not. He was picking my brain about things I like on our last outing but that doesn't mean shit to me when he makes me feel insecure about us. Idk his communication sucks and I refuse to always be the first texter. It's been almost a week since I sent the last which I also initiated. Yes I brought this issue up but it seems like he doesn't care much about it. I don't wanna nag someone into pretending to care about my needs when they either don't care or can't meet them. There's a very tiny chance that maybe his thought process is that the silence and mystery in between makes our dates more interesting, but I'm being too generous.
Given where he's at in life I think he just wants a woman to go out with occasionally. I mean that's fine but when I'm over here vying for a relationship that's a shit deal for me. Don't I deserve to be taken a bit more seriously as I depart my 20s? If someone was really about me they'd wanna spend more time with me and wouldn't ignore me for a week, right? Not to mention due to his silence I don't think we are gonna plan anything this weekend. It could be the vulnerable paranoid in me, but this would be the second time a weekend has been skipped and I greater assume that means he made plans with other girls. Noticed he seems to have a lot of female friends and hasn't talked anything about male mates besides work colleagues. I don't trust men to have my best interest at heart, and I don't care if I sound crazy in assuming the worst. Men are gonna do what's most opportunistic for themselves.
Go figure that the one guy I actually want attention from is playing dead, meanwhile the orbiters I'm a cold unreciprocal bitch to only makes them want me more. And of course orbiters are never quality men, always ugly entitled creeps. So while I could technically go on other dates it's not going to be worthwhile in the end.
I feel you. I mostly listen to more obscure baroque composers. People assume that I'm a pretentious snob or just plain weird.>>512427
UK anon here. I haven't owned a television for five years so this was the first I heard of it. I'm not surprised that Schofield came out as gay. Everyone is going to fawn over him for being so brave without any care for his wife or children. Shit like this is why I stopped paying for a television license. These days is nothing but a creatively bankrupt celebrity circlejerk. I don't understand how people sit a watch it for hours.
He has a wife and kids? He was straight enough to start a family.>>512445
Agreed, I haven’t had TV in years either. I hate celebrity culture, I don’t think I should care about some presenter who isn’t part of my immediate community and does fuckall for it, it’s all just filling people’s heads and wasting their time with the details of a complete stranger. Before social media it was tolerable, now it’s fuel for the garbage fire that is normies shitting up the internet with their opinions when this should be the thing you bitch about over tea at a friend’s house.
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>annoying lady in cubicle next to me that constantly walks past to peer at my work is off today so that means I have the entire day to fuck off on my phone w/o being worried if I look busy enough
Easiest 10.5 hours ever.
same but ive been changing it up since New Years
I deleted social media on my phone
I try not to open multiple tabs on the comp
Been going to the gym 2x a week and lost 5 lbs by eating better
But im still procrastinating on finishing art projects because i get distracted and frustrated with my art. Try to figure out your priorities and make a daily system that will push you further in the direction you want.
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3rd time working at a call center…got fired for having a one star review on Stella,shit fuck
I would get my ass kicked ass by my father if I'm tell him, discreetly I'm making a resume to go to another damn job (just for training) in order to get money
Holy shit my life is always going downhill
Absolutely not. I'm good at planning but actually executing
That's great. I hope you keep it up!
Anon I worked at a call center for three years and those were the worst god damn years of my life.
Don't go back. If you can work in a call center, you can land an office job which is ten times less stress and you wouldn't have to deal with so much customer bullshit.
I know it doesn't answer your question, but if you're not even obese is there something wrong with liking how you are?
If we told you there are contraindications, would it make you want to stop anyway?
You're mixing a stimulant with antipsychotics. In short–yes, this new drug is affecting the performance of your medications and you should stop. A doctor would tell you the same thing.
No offense anon but you are such a fucking idiot. You are literally overdosing yourself, this is no joke. Throw the pills away and hit the gym, jesus christ.
t. someone whose mother took illegal diet pills who included very similar ingredients in a too high dose, became a walking skinbag, had a stroke due to the pills which caused her brain damage and blindbess on one eye and would've been fucking dead if it wasn't for me reacting one minute sooner
Thanks but I have no choice :/
I live in a 3rd world shithole somewhere in Central American I can't get a good paying job unless I speak English and my Spanish is terrible
So you think taking this could trigger
depressive episodes and things like that? Cause lamotrigine has helped more than valproate and i have been stable for months. so i really wouldn't like to mess up with my lamotrigine. Do you sincerely sincerely believe that one could affect the other? Or do you just not want me to take phentermine? Just want to hear your thoughts. No one knows im doing this so id like to talk with someone about it.
>>512635>So you think taking this could trigger depressive episodes and things like that?
They're completely opposing medications. It's like a tug of war in your brain, basically.
Presumably your other medications were prescribed by a professional who understands their interactions.
Introducing a weight loss amphetamine throws a wrench into the equation. I know you don't want to but the phentermine has gotta go. It is severely fucking with you, not to mention all these medications including phentermine metabolize in your liver so I'm sure your organs are suffering major stress.
You must have read online that even with supervised dosage, phentermine can only be taken for up to a few weeks. Even if you weren't feeling side effects, the effectiveness of phentermine is negligible after that time frame expires. It is not reliable and incompatible for your medication plan right now.
Sorry again anon. This will only hurt you if you continue.
Thanks anon! The material wasn't too difficult, I didn't have enough time to answer the last question though. I probably passed. >>512581
. I saw this and almost thought I wrote it myself. I don't have advice but I hope both of us get our shit together!
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I just realized that every person I was close with has eventually replaced me. It's been happening since elementary school and tbh it sure left a scar. What's worse is that often the friendship that was didn't even gradually fade, it just happened over the span of a week most of the time, despite being friends with these people for months or years.
I hate not being good enough and constantly the second option or a place holder.
No, it's fine. She took them for 3 months and lost about 40kg I think (she was about 100kg before) but she looked increasingly sick and had like I said really bad loose skin everywhere. After a while of taking the pills she had occasional heart rythm disruptions, nausea, strong headaches and sometimes chest pain. About half an hour before her stroke, she told me she didn't feel well, so she layed down on the couch and fell seemingly asleep. I only noticed something was wrong after she made really weird noises (like loud snoring, moaning and wheezing/suffocating at the same time), I couldn't get her to wake up even with forces and she was limb. When the paramedics arrived, they had to reanimate her once. It took 4 days for her to be properly responsive and if I remember it right she stayed 5 weeks in the hospital until she could come home.
Please, please be careful. If you absolutely have to take meds for your diet, listen closely to any sign your body gives and don't ignore it.
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I fucking hate that
I've never been anyone's first choice, my entire life. I remember when I first realized just how little I mean to the people around me. Even my immediate family, I'm not sure they'd want to be around me if they had a choice in who they're related to. I can't form meaningful relationships with anyone in my life, I've never been in love or had friends I could trust, and I find it difficult to care about anyone who isn't me or isn't able to help me get what I want.
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I’m turning 30 this year and I’ve never had a boyfriend
I can’t even get my tinder dates to go on a second date or try for something casual, let alone anything resembling a relationship
Literally everyone I know found a loving and dedicated and frankly handsome bf through apps, chance etc.:..even with different situations like having kids or being poly or what not. Maybe moving to Southern California wasn’t the best idea.
I know I shouldn’t be insecure about it but I also feel like If I turn thirty alone I might end it. My mom is going to die in a few years and I’ll just have a brother and a sister. That’s it. And they both live in different states. I’m so lonely. Sorry for brick of text.
I don't see anything unusual with being single at 30 tbh. In fact I think women tend to be at their best in their 30s. My 20s have been dirt. Failed relationships with low value males when I was a pickme, shit ass jobs where I was low paid and stressed, horrible self-esteem, instabilities and strife in general, etc.
The point being you'll be in a more balanced and leveled position to seek out a relationship during those years, don't fret. You seem like a person with some self-awareness so surely you'll be making some good choices for yourself. Me? I'm looking forward to my 30s and establishing myself even further.
Being alone is rough, but don't judge your value based on Tinder or dating apps as a whole. Like another anon said, you've got a lot of spunk for putting yourself out there like that in the first place. More importantly, Tinder isn't exactly regaled as being a place for men with morals and high value. There's a lot of trash on there. I bet those men saw that you had standards and expectations, and that's what got them sweating because they're so used to coolgirls being chill with whatever.
When a man wants you, you will know. You won't have to chase or ask. In the meantime, don't let those men who didn't see your worth occupy space in your head. You keep looking forward and keep your eyes on the prize.
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My boyfriend knows I have intense drug issues (OD'd on opiates, tried crack, used to get high off OTC meds every day) but still bought us a vape pen. I really like it but I know like… I shouldn't? It feels like I'm going backwards in recovery, especially because the high from this reminds me of the OTC I used to abuse. It helps me with my other disorders and calming down but it feels really wrong.
Stupid boyfriend pissed me off today. I ask him for a cup of water before, and as he comes back into the room, he goes to the bathroom that is connected to our room and takes a piss. I start freaking and I ask him if he brought it into the bathroom, he jokes around and say yes, I freak out even harder and once he done, he brings the cup and puts on the nightstand. I told him that I wasn't going to drink it because I'm freaking about it being in the bathroom. I get up and dump it out in the sink, and I'm still freaking out, back in bed, upset, he tells me he didn't and he was just playing with me. I'm even more upset, and tells me to quit acting like a spazz, this after I told him how I've been thinking of killing myself as of lately BECAUSE of my mental illnesses.
What the heck, I'm thinking about leaving him because of this. I'm so upset.
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The love of my life doesn’t want any kids and he might put up with adopted children… fuck fuck fuck. I can’t stop crying, he playfully but roughly jabbed at me about it, and I mentioned that he’s rubbing salt in my wounds and he said,”oh salt in the wounds? It’s that serious? Wow. I was just joking, I didn’t know you felt that way” Afterwards he apologized, but I’m still fucking hurt about it.
imo it’s understandable if somebody doesn’t want to raise another person’s children for so -many- reasons and the overpopulation thing will naturally hit a plateau anyway, look at any first world country.>>512802
why doesn’t he want his own kids but is willing to adopt? maybe there’s something he doesn’t want to pass down? keep talking to him about it.
ikr anon? I let the news filter through until it gets to the places I frequent (like here) or not. Like fuck that Megxit stuff, I literally don’t understand why everyone gets so heated about the royal family in modern times when they’ve been irrelevant for the past two decades. Took me a while to realise what the ‘Meg’ stood for.
I read that in the past, the women of royal families would often be the trendsetters of fashion, influencers of their day, and it was such a weird realisation, like of course they would be? But who do we turn to now? idk, actors, who are already being supplanted by random instathots and anyone with a camera.
Back to This Morning, yeah it’s boomer af. I get creeped out by how this kind of """"entertainment"""" feels like I’m being shown things on a conveyer belt then told how to feel about them.
I sort of relate because I have a personality disorder. You have no idea how angry it makes me when a person that I consider shitty, stupid or just bad human being shares my specific and rare interests! It's not as bad as it used to be during my teenage years, but it still happens to me sometimes. I wonder why. Guess I should talk about it with my therapist next week lmfao.
On the other hand, I don't think it's a healthy way of looking at things. After all, it's ridiculous to believe that you are the only one who is worthy of the interest or gets it. Your enjoyment is not any better or more meaningful than someone else's. You do not own anything unless you create it from scratch(and even then some people believe in death of author - still, it's your work so you have more authority than a consumer).
Sorry if I misunderstood your comment and you are talking about something else.
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A close male friend of mine is a huge fan of Rammstein and can't stop gushing about what an "artistic geniush" Till Lindemann is now when he's published some solo album with tons of music videos to go with. Nothing against the band or the guy, really, but filling your music videos with weird imagery and attractive nude women in BDSM gear and collars is about as interesting as someone posting artistic nudes on DeviantArt.
But of course I can't say that because I'm just gonna get the "bohoo you don't like it because feminism" thrown in my face. Naked women are literally everywhere in media, you don't have to be a feminist to see how unoriginal and boring it is.
Yeah. Takes a toll on your soul though, doesn't it? I feel like I'm using the 'grey rock method' (that abuse avoidance technique) but on my entire life.>>512853
That sounds insufferable, I'm also neutral on Rammstein and used to love them as a teenager but hearing my close male friend talk about them too gives me weird vibes for some reason. It might just my distrusting ass wanting to see red flags but I can't tell if he's flexing to look like a special-unique alt tough guy or not.
Tbh I have to side-eye anyone who listens to a genre full of anger and violence and idk why I've come to this opinion after liking metal while growing up but I only listened to shit with angsty/sad lyrics in it anyway
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I wish that looking tired was cuter on girls, if that makes sense. I think guys looking tired is seen as attractive and more acceptable, but not on girls. I have dark circles, they're natural and I can only get rid of them with surgery. I hate it.
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>Tfw my boss who's a total incompetent Idiot inherited that position from her daddu.
apparently her father was a very competent and hardworking man, but her daughter just can't live up to him, bitch was already born a millionaire and had to steal some competent person job on top of that. and the worst thing about my boss is that she presents herself as this "boss bitch" archetype online and IRL.
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The term "bi lesbian" makes me want to shoot myself in the head.
I hope it doesn't become a "thing". There's a reason there's the word bisexual.
Even as a bi myself, shit like this annoys me. We don't need 400 lables for everything.
Why don't they ever dare to say shit like "gay men can be attracted to women." Oh wait it's cause the tranny movement is run by men who get boners from taking over women's spaces, bodies, movements.
Neither they nor the rest of the million-gender freaks seem to ever want to bother(fellow) men, not even when it's about "supporting" trans men.
Don't take it as red flag just yet. Men are emotionally retarded and he probably doesn't know what to say or do. You said that he's visibly upset so maybe he's having difficulty expressing how he actually feels.
The same thing happened to me when I told my then boyfriend now husband that I had been physically abused abused as a child. He asked me a few questions, said he was sorry and left. I didn't see him for a few days after that. I think he asked his mother for advice on how to handle it.
you are absolutely not the one in the wrong in any regard. when a close family member of mine opened up to me about her sexual abuse i was immediately emotionally wrecked by it, but my instant reaction was to want to comfort her in any way i could. same when my partner told me he'd been molested. the fact that he cared more about how it made him feel is honestly disgusting, but as >>512982
said its kind of not shocking for a male to act that way. i still dont think male stupidity is an excuse for how he treated you though.
im genuinely really sorry that was the reaction you received when you opened up in a vulnerable way. i hope he takes time to process it and actually gives you some support and comfort. and that he apologizes for responding so weirdly in the first place.
People will accuse you of victim
blaming but it's the truth. Young women need to realize that they have no control over those images after they hit send and men trade nudes like fucking pokemon cards. Unless you have no issue with who sees them it's easier to avoid the risks by not sending them out in the first place.
Sidenote but it's disgusting how society is very predatory when it comes to leaked nudes and sex tapes. It's a huge invasion of privacy to seek out stuff that's nonconsensually leaked.
I heard from a teacher that there were cases in her district involving 4th graders either sending or being propositioned to send nudes.
I still think about some I sent to foreign internet strangers as a teen. I used to worry and feel shame, but these days, I don’t care. I’m just happy to have developed much healthier habits regarding promiscuity in recent years so I’m not going into a new decade as a pick me.
This reminds me of those god awful times back in 2013-2014 in Facebook
Where my "friends" all under 18 where posting public photos either scantily clad or fully naked and where competing with each other to get the most likes,I was such a stupid teen to not ever delete my Facebook sooner,I saw the most fucked up shit ever I still remember the "purge" shit on Facebook back in 2014 https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.local10.com/news/2014/08/02/anonymous-social-media-users-engage-in-purge-to-distribute-revenge-porn/%3foutputType=amp
How can you get addicted to sending nudes? Jesus…
Anyway, did that once and I regretted it. The guy who I sent it to tried to hit me up on OKC recently and I recoiled in horror. I don’t get why people do so unless it’s a long term relationship.
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Why must all guys with an enthusiasm for history (ESPECIALLY ww2 military history) be so scummy/shitty/misogynistic?
Scratch that, that was a rhetorical question - liking guns/warfare history will do that to you, because you already have an interest in something that obviously puts you in a position of power and also causes people suffering. But can males really not be interested in things like these and understand that, actually, war was never 'cozy' or an event of 'banding together in brotherly love', and you should really detach yourself from the seductive illusion of 'hanging out in the trenches with the boys' or shit like that? I swear, they can never look outside their feelings and take a glance at history with an objective standpoint. If they're going to be interested, they HAVE to be a fascist/racist/hateful in some way.
I've never seen this problem manifest in women - if they do happen to be interested in this specific facet of history, somehow they have the capacity to understand that history shouldn't be repeated. War isn't fun. They're also more likely to have a wider scope of knowledge on civilian life, ordinary things in history - fashion, food, the social order, the mentality of the period. Which, in my opinion, gives you a better impression about living in the past - battles and political skirmishes consisted about 5% of 95% of the world population's lives.
It really sucks, because I'm excited to find a guy to sperg about these kinds of things with and we'll have a good laugh, and after that, i quickly realize - whoops, he's another autistic creep who 100% unironically ascribes to [insert extremist pro-violence ideology here].
I fucking love history, but I've yet to find a guy who shares my interests and isn't completely and utterly toxic.
men are fucking dumb.
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I already posted this in another thread but one of my genral rules is to avoid men that are too into WW2/Roman History, If thier into world history its fine as long its not just WW2, but if their in to anything written by Will and Ariel Durnat then you've find a keeper, the Durant's give a nuanced portrayal of history and always mention the status of women/Influential women for every civilization they discuss
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Anyone else really fucking tired of being a people pleaser? It’s ingrained in my soul and disappointing people or even getting a slightly negative reaction or not doing everything I can for someone I don’t even know is almost physically painful. I’m sick of being this way I just want to tell people to fuck off…but I won’t lol
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>>513372>he calls you fat and watches porn
And this is why you don't procreate with losers.
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you mean ex bf, right?
No one has the right to yell at you. It's abusive
. You have certain issues , yes but no civilised person needs to vent anger at you over those issues . Next time he raises his voice at you , look him in the eye and tell him that it isn't you that he is angry at but whoever it is that gave him permission to speak to people like that . Be strong anon.
I can't believe there's still women getting insecure about this stuff
We have a long way to
I'm that anon.
Yes, men have nothing to do with it.
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No one will ever make me feel the way 2D does… what bliss, what despair! Perfect and eternal, as God herself.
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i want people to like me and to initiate contact with me, i want a boy friend and to be socially successful, please i want to be loved and appreciated
cant believe we re going to have 14 feb AGAIN
I feel this vibe.
I'd been going on dates with this guy since the beginning of January but I don't think he's gonna ask me out for Friday if he hasn't already yet. Which hurts my feelings because he hinted at gifts last date. The dates we went on were always nice, like he'd pick me up, pay, and the places we went to were thoughtful.
Yet I'm starting to think I was just an option all along. Him texting me fizzled out weeks ago, and I refuse to always initiate and chase. The last text I both initiated and replied last was on last Sunday soooooo yeah. Feels bad. Last year I briefly dated a psycho from October to January. He manhandled me on NYE but he gaslit me into taking him back. When I did that, he was violent with me again and when I put my foot down he broke up with me like a week before Valentine's Day.
I haven't had much luck, but at least I'm not kowtowing to men just to say I have a date.
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I’m petty but she literally asked 8 times for pictures of the book pages and was ignored bc it’s week 5 and she doesn’t have the only book we need. she asks weekly and literally begs every time. later someone finally sends them to her then she has the nerve to ask for people’s notes on the book. The passage is only 11 pages and she can do it herself. This is a 4000 level class btw and she wants to be spoon fed. She doesn’t have a disability but said her hands hurt when she writes so she gets to use her laptop. Her typing is so loud that it’s comical and I’m always thinking that she has to be trying to make people laugh but she’s fr so detached. She cuts off the professor every five minutes with stuff that isn’t relevant to what we’re learning. Also, when other people are participating she has to be a contrarian every single time and intervene to say “actually I think it’s the opposite” just to be a contrarian, no other reason. then that steals the conversation from the other person. Bitch I’m tryna learn
I wish I could just be normal in a relationship, I don't know why I flip the fuck out as soon as I'm committed to someone.
Like, when I'm single I'm great. I love going out, meeting people, if I see an attractive girl I'm just like "good for her, she looks lovely". I don't really pay attention to men or think about a BF much so I'll get into a relationship every few years when the stars align. When I'm single I'm quietly confident about myself, my looks, my abilities.
Then I get into a relationship and I turn into this fucking pickmeisha! Every woman who'd fit the bill to be attractive for my bf I'm seething with jealousy and filled with hate for them. I try and find every which way I could maybe be better than them to feel not so threatened. I want them to just stop existing. What I know of my BF, he won't cheat. I trust him 100%. Even when I feel jealousy at its strongest, I know that. But the feeling doesn't go. I keep ruminating.
He went to hang out with a very casual group of friends and many people bailed to the point that it ended up being just him and the ONE girl I am so fucking jealous of because she shares all the same hobbies he does that I could never and won't ever get into. And she's very attractive in a different way to me. When I tell you I felt SICK. I just blurted out that that made me really uncomfortable. And now? He's promised he won't hang out with just her alone again. And I didn't say that he could and it's fine, because I'm secretly extremely relieved he's OK with doing that. A couple of times a day I want to tell him it's OK because I feel guilty and it's the decent thing to do, but when I get close to it I think of how relieved I feel that it's a guarantee and I won't need to think about it so I stay quiet.
Like it's not fair on him, it's all on me, and I wish I wasn't like this. It's emotionally taxing and stressful and I want to stop. It's not fair that he does a completely innocuous, innocent thing and receives this blowback. And I am sick of hiding that I become so dependent, clingy and controlling from all my friends who know me as a chill, laid back and positive person.
I really want to keep this bf, and also make myself better. Thing is last time I was single for ages and I functioned well on my own I thought I fixed it, apparently not. I'm taking small steps to be less clingy, jealous or controlling and I think I start to get better then an event like what I mentioned happens (or even somethig less) and I'm back to being this pathetic beta worrying about whether my bf finds me boring/unattractive etc.
You might not believe it, but generally I'm good with realistic expectations and people being their own person and me respecting and accepting that with ease. But a bf? All goes out the window. You'd think I was 16 with this lack of emotional control but I'm nearing fucking 30 and I'm sick of it and get more sick of it every time a non-event happens and I feel like throwing up because I'm so threatened. Bf is meeting up with that group again the coming week and I've worried about that happening again on average for an hour a day.
Why does any bf become my whole world, despite me being a pretty interesting person? God I need help but I don't know where to start.
What? You’re not me. I’m >>512185
Unless you’re talking about >>513451
then sorry hehe
Maybe it's just me but I also wouldn't feel comfortable with my bf hanging out alone with another woman either. Not to say that I would be seething mad and threatened, but I do find that inappropriate and it would raise my eyebrow. If it became a pattern I'd lay down my boundary about it.
Anon have you ever considered that your gut is correct on certain things, but your mind just gets ahead of itself? Yeah you shouldn't have gone off if it was the only time it's happened so far and things started as a group, but you would be correct in how you felt if he made this a routine.
I'm just trying to say that when your instinct tells you something it might
be true but you've gotta properly assess the situation before you act. Try writing out your jealous and upset feelings sometime, sit on your thoughts for a few days, and then go back and read them as if you were reading a vent post here. It might give you some more objectivity if you promise yourself that you'll think about things first.
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Are you me? I'm struggling so much with jealousy now that we've hit the one year mark, I used to be le cool cool gf, but now I'm miserable and insecure and I'm taking it out on him, I sperged just a few days ago about some hot chick he was pining after before we dated and he very unfollowed her on instagram and blocked her on fb which made me feel even more unhinged.
I've also started rejecting him sexually, because I convinced myself that he really wants to fuck other girls and is using me for convenience.
I genuinely don't know what's going on.
You remind me of someone… whatever. People like you are incredibly toxic
The receptionist at my first OBGYN was so unnecessarily rude too. I called to make an appointment (because that's how it is for all of my other doctors) and she said "Is this your first time here?" and I said "no it isn't" and she said in the rudest tone "Well then you should know we're walk in only!" but the only other time I went was my first time and I walked in then because my mom (who recommended this obgyn to me) told me to. The doctors were all male and condescending and refused to let me get the IUD and even lied to me that my insurance wouldn't cover it.
I looked up this obgyn online and almost every single review is about how the receptionist is rude and petty as fuck so I decided to change obgyns. My new one is with the same health group that my primary doctor is with and the staff is so incredibly nice and they have a lot of various doctors under them so I can always see someone with little wait time if I'm not particularly picky. I'm very happy that they let me specifically have a female obgyn too. They weren't assholes about letting me get an IUD and assured me that it would 100% be covered by my insurance (which it was).
bleh i mean if i kill myself it's not like it matters, i don't have any family whatsoever. not that i have friends but friends are a meme, superficial allies and the meaningless interactions that come along with them are not an absolute necessity for me (but that's because i have so little and because I've accomplished nothing but failures). i wasn't ever aware of the meaning of living (not even life), that I admit. i think i never understood this world even a little bit and would say my conscousness is on par with a 13 year old who doesn't skip classes, otherwise i wouldn't be so damn depressing e.g. or an easy one: type like a retard. i'm more calm than ever but all i just want is to slit my wrists open and die more than ever so i can do myself, not the world, a favor. my gp hates me so i won't ask him to an hero. Thank god I don't have children, jeez, I know lots of stupid people like me reproduced but that doesn't mean I should participate in this mess. I'm probably not fertile anyways since I missed a lot of periods though in my mental break down I bled like a bitch for one day A LOT and then it stopped.
/vent (don't want to actually publish this now anymore, but it's been logged anyways.
on another note, fuck whoever participated in making me like the wreck i am now, hope you and whoever you love and that loves you kys too. i mean i'm now a demonic idiot moron but i used to be innocent and dindu, how could people, GROWN PEOPLE, have hurt me even at that time? When I'm dead I can't care anymore about that tho anymore LOL.
Honestly guys I don't think you are in the wrong about worrying. Like, I've been the other girl, it's disgusting how shameless some men can be. There was this one dude that wouldn't stop texting me and sending me voice messages telling me his whole fucking week and expected me to reply, while having a gf, constantly made plans with me and other people but more than once when I actually went to the place to meet them it turned out that "suddenly" everyone bailed and it was just me and him alone going to eat or whatever. I couldn't believe this fucking shit.
Then in one of those few "accidental" dates we were talking about literally whatever, I don't fucking remember well at all but it wasn't remotely related to what it came next, but he suddenly spits something about that one time he had a threesome. I was like ok?? I ghosted the motherfucker after that. Now there is this dude from a thing I go from time to time with other female friends who is ridiculously eager to come dinner with us whenever I'm present, he's so transparent and he's also in a relationship too as far as I know. It's laughable. I've never helped a dude cheat and hopefully I never will, fucking cowards, treat your current partner minimal human decency and break up with them if you'll be pursuing other people anyway.
Back on topic >>513551
if your boyfriend is ok not meeting other girls in his own if he realized it made you uncomfortable that's because he cares about you and wants to be with you (and imo it's the most intelligent thing to do I mean c'mon. Why would he need to seek company from other girls if he already has a girlfriend?? Even if it's casual company, It may just be me but you don't usually seek company from the other sex when you already have someone). Imo he doesn't seem a bad boyfriend at all. But I agree with the other anon that you may have BPD, specially if you were cheated on/abandoned in the past (because lord I have been, and I'd lie if I'd say i don't feel like you do sometimes); it may be a good idea to try therapy to deal with that jealousy and fears in a healthy way.
Not the staff but it's the obgyn herself. I remember when I consulted an obgyn for an implant, she tried downplaying why I want them. She's probably in her 60s, basically a boomer. Instead of giving me the rundown of those things, she just "scared" me into not getting one. It's hilarious how she tried scaring me with the expenses (I'm from a 3rd world shithole so something like $200 is a fortune). When I didn't budge and told her I have the money, she told me I'm still very young and I should try getting a kid before doing a "rash decision".
Long story short, that was the last time I consulted her clinic and went elsewhere. I specifically went for a younger obgyn, I think around her mid-30s. She was nice and really understanding. I also got a discount from the normal $200 price tag.
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god owes you an explanation tbh. is there anything you enjoy? i don't mean that in a rude way. like hobbies, etc.? not trying to be like lIvE fOr YoUr PaSsIoNs but maybe weigh if those could be enough, and if not, what could be enough, in your wildest dreams? what's the best scenario you can make in your mind? total dream utopia. just a practice to engage w urself more (at least i find this helpful to me).
and what's the worst that could happen if you don't make that decision or dwell on it rn?
i have different problems, same feelings. i try to keep myself occupied so there isn't time for those thoughts to happen blah blah blah. but i'm depressed and don't do anything when I don't have to, or even when I have to, so it's always on my mind lol. tbh i use a therapy app and it helps me just go off and track my thought patterns and other things i didn't expect. i survive on klonopin and lamictal to make it to those few moments i enjoy. i test myself out of curiosity to see if i can act like a functional human. i try to have a childlike curiosity to help inspire me and make me feel lighter and dumber. and i escalate things i don't need to just for fun. whatever combination of dumb things works for the day.
but, i understand when near that state of hopelessness you're in, sometimes the mind won't entertain any other thought.
it helps me to look at this chart to find the emotion im feeling, bc i usually can't find the words to pick the words out, and look at the opposing ones. each have the same energy, just opposites. i pretend they switched and i have the other one now
lmfao my obgyn changed from walk in to appointments which I didn't know and I ended up waiting for 2 hours in line once only to find out when I asked the nurse
They didn't even put a message on their door or anything, I felt so embarassed
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I'm hanging out with my bf and our friends and
>I was told there'd probably be drinking, I greatly enjoy social drinking because it helps me calm down and properly eat
>Buy alcohol for myself as we were told to by the host, only told now everyone works so there won't be drinking
>BF angry at me for getting alcohol even though I'll just.. put it away?
>Forgot everyone but me are coworkers to each other and they've been talking about work stuff and the like for over an hour now
This sucks man.
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I need a new bf
Everyone should at least read Stephen Kotkins Stalin. It's so good.
I’ve been working really hard towards my goals, doing things way out of my comfort zone so maybe one day I can have my dream job and a good, quality life. It’s been hard but I’ve been able to keep pushing, feeling confident that it’s going to be worth it in the end and I truly am capable of achieving this! But today something small happened that reminded me that’s it’s not ever going to be truly easy, even after I finish school, it’ll still be hard to find a job and it’ll be a waiting game to work where I truly want to work and the time/money I’m putting into all of it so far is stressful to my relationship and even when I gave the dream job, it’ll probably still be a stressor on all of my relationships (husband, family, friends) and.. I just don’t know. This has been the first time my motivation has wavered, my confidence shaken up. It’s almost like I feel embarrassed for even trying so hard to begin with? Like why did I let this become so important to me? I know it’s probably just the anxiety/depression talking but I’m so upset haha. I feel like I don’t have time to think anymore because I’m so busy with school and work, and the second I let myself slow down I became a nervous wreck over it…….
funniest bruh moment of my life must be my parents listening to rammstein ever since i was idk 3 till age of 8 maybe and at age 6 we moved to germany and obviously got on with learning the language when it dawned on them. stopped listening to them since.
id say my parents are pussy for this but their music and texts are frankly boring to me today.
what cds/albums/compilations would you rec? eurodance is my guilty pleasure
Also vid related is a classic
Sort of related but I suffered a few traumas as a kid yet my parents never considered how it might be a good idea to get me some therapy. Mom always stigmatized mental health and basically admitted she thought most people fake or exaggerate their conditions in order to not work and get sympathy, among other things (yes she was projecting). When I was a teen I became super rebellious and sexually active sometimes to my own detriment, but even still they blamed my friends and other influences for the behavior.
As an adult I struggle with establishing healthy boundaries because mine were always walked on by my parents, I had none. I have a tendency to overshare because privacy didn't exist in my house for me, and I was always having to explain and justify. I people pleased for my mom, and now I suppress that trait because it's gotten me exploited by abusers. I was constantly called annoying and needy for wanting my parent's attention that they hardly ever gave, and now today I avoid people because I figure everyone else is also bothered by me.
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I searched the internet and managed to find exact cds that I had, they are mostly eurodance, and I wish I had them again tbh, as a souvenir from the past. Now I listen to it on youtube, just play one popular eurodance hit and next in line will be something similar. Like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3EUnL8vZbE
Oh yes! Many times, kek. I do wish we had these kinds of programs again. Do you remember Tae Bo? I remember I had a sample VHS laying around with a 5 minute workout. I used to put it on every other week and I was good for the day lol.>>513941
I fucking love Culture Beat! I found a Real McCoy CD at the local thrift shop about 2 years ago when the car I had at the time only played discs and I was blasting that thing to work all the time.
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I finally figured out I'm a lesbian after all this time and I want to be intimate with another girl so bad but unlike sex with men I actually view sex with women to be a very special thing and don't want to just find some random hook up to do it with. I've also never had sex with another girl and am so scared and nervous about it.
I never got to be intimate with my ex but sometimes I daydream about it and I know it's fucked up to daydream about that shit but fuuuuuuuuuuuck I just want to softly caress and be softly caressed by a beautiful goddess. I know my imagination could just conjure up any another pretty lady in her place but for whatever reason it doesn't stick the same. My libido has been fucking dead for months now but nothing gets me worked up like the thought of touching boobs.
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I'm waiting for Valentine's Day to finally put the last nail in the shit coffin for this guy I had been dating. Also low key was developing feelings for. I think he's gonna flake out on me. He hasn't texted me all week, but before this he only ever texted me for dates. Even when I dropped obvious lines like "I wish you'd text more I like hearing from you," or "I really like you," nothing changed. It's my fault. I slept with him too early I think, and now that he's got his hand fulfilled I think the insecure fuckboy is revealing itself. Now he will be conveniently "emotionally unavailable" to put energy into a relationship if I would have gotten one. It's upsetting because it's a complete 180 from when I first met him, just reinforces my theory it was all a facade.
I hate how he spoiled my excitement for a new relationship. I thought I was with a guy who wanted to be decent to me. I'm so damn naive.
Imagine if I'm wrong though: Imagine if he's just legitimately busy but is too socially retarded to see the snafu? Imagine he shows on Valentine's Day with surprise bullshit after giving me silence for over a week? Still unacceptable! It just means that if I'd continue on with this guy I could expect more of this immaturity, and expecting more would just make me clingy or annoying.
I need this closure. I need to see what he does on Valentine's Day so that either way I can be DONE with this fucking jerk. Block and delete his number. Curse his name for making me feel this way. I wish I could pounce him and start beating his face Lilo style, but knowing scrotes, that might be his turn on! Too many of them escape true justice.
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Everyone keeps fucking dying and no one I know knows wtf it's like to deal with shit like this and every weeby shit they sperg about makes me so angry, those are not real problems. I am too young for this shit and while I wish these people will never have to go through this, I kinda wish they would so they'd know how it ruins you. IT'S ALL FUCKED AND AWFUL.
Yeah lake michigan is pretty nice I'd visit it again. I like how you can see the fish come up right next to the bank even while you're so close to the roads.
I mean, idk why I think that's nice because where I live you can see crabs next to the roads but idk I like seeing real animals right next to the whole human stuff.
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I miss going out on night walks, but the FUCKING COYOTES have taken over my neighborhood.
I've been living with my boyfriend, his cousin, and his aunt since mid last year, at the aunt's apartment. Paying minimal/dirt cheap rent in an expensive metro area. It's a two-bedroom apartment, so I'm in one room, the cousin in the other, and the aunt lives and sleeps in the living room. She says she never sleeps in a bed, prefers a couch. She asked my boyfriend and his cousin if they wanted to live at her apartment while she's out traveling the world/visiting friends etc. She's retired, has a husband in another state that she doesn't visit/he doesn't visit her either, and doesn't seem to have many friends in the area. Her daughter, son-in-law and grandchild live about 20 minutes away but she sees them maybe twice a month. She's home most of the time.
As I've been between jobs (I start my new one tomorrow though, yay), I've been home a lot for the past month since I didn't want to spend too much money while I didn't have an income.
However I haven't been hungry/wanting to eat since I don't want her to comment on what i eat/my eating habits/why it took me a month to find a new job/hear her talk about her racist friends etc. She's so gracious for letting us stay at her place, yet I feel bad that I really don't like spending time with her/she's often very negative too and talks about the news a lot. She doesn't like movies, tv shows, restaurants, pets, music so when I first met her/tried to find common ground or something to talk about I felt stumped. My anxiety is not helping here at all either. I feel like she's lonely since she doesn't talk to many people and she's at home all day, but I can't find myself going out of the way to spend time with her..
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>https://www.technologyreview.com/f/615167/astronomers-have-found-a-deep-space-radio-burst-that-pulses-every-16-days/>mfw I smoked a fat joint before reading this and now I am so fucked up
Am I the only one absolutely horrified by space? It's all so volatile and dangerous. >FRB are extremely powerful radio emissions lasting only FRB a few milliseconds. The sources of these bursts are absolute mysteries to astronomers, and of the hundreds that have been detected so far, we’ve only localized where five actually come from. Whatever event produces these emissions generates over tens of thousands of times more energy than the sun. While most FRBs are one-off signals, a few have been detected multiple times over—again, without explanation.
How can someone read that and not get chills?
The article says it's nothing to do with aliens or intelligence, but man just that much unpredictable energy is terrifying. It makes me feel so small and inconsequential, that I am. There's just so much unknown that we will never know in our lifetimes. I would pay someone to hug me rn.
I have a love/hate relationship with space, even vids like vid related are cool while simultaneously making me want to throw up>>514146
I'd kms honestly, I'd be terrified of the future. Even if humans found a way to survive underground. It'd be too hellish. Throw the whole planet away at that point.
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>>514160>arguing that it is not him.
The website links to his account on another site where his name and birthday matches up.
Honestly, I hate his guts, not for makeup, but his music is braindead awful. Out of all the scenies that came out of that era, why did he have to become one of the most successful ones? Though tbh pretty much all scenekids turned into cringefests but J*'s one of the really just edgier ones that I fucking loathe.
Holy shit anon, I have exact same situation. I too, want to move on, but Idk how, because I'm addicted to his kindness and him being sweet to me. Except he is inbetween jobs for a couple of years, him not willing to go take any job, at retail os something at this point drives me nuts. We have bare minimum of money to buy food and we don't eat much. When I ask can he do it not for himself, but at least for me, he tells me that he soo will definitely find a nice job, he just needs a little more time. He stays inside 99% of the time, when I manage to take him to a walk, he cringes. I know that it's depression, and I made him go to therapist once, but it's been a year since then. It's very hard, because I want to move on, but he is the kindest person in my life, it really means a lot to me.
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Mental health care here fucking sucks and I'm tired of it
Every time I try to go back to therapy they are so rude and dismissive giving the same stupid generic advice and not listening to what I am saying at all, like they completely forget everything we talked about last session and they won't help me work through the most basic fucking issues I have talked about
I am so bitter and angry now every time I see people saying to "just get help" "reach out" "you are not alone" etc !!! I have been trying for years!!! I can't!! I'm going to explode
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My dad and mom are finally getting a divorce which makes me happy since my dad has been extremely physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me and my mom since before I was born and decided to drop my mom like a tissue because she was in some debt, luckily she's fine with this now because of how abusive and cruel he got a couple days ago but of course everything surrounding it is shit.
A lot of my friends became huge SJWs for no reason the second I pointed out how trans people reinforce gender stereotypes a lot (keep in mind this is the group that screams racial profanities at fucking smash bros every chance they get) to which when I begged one of my friend's too not be mad at me she just doubled down and had a wall of text about how everyone there hated me, for about a month I basically spent it begging her to be my friend again because I was so emotionally fucked up and to which she tried to force me to make up with this guy who bullied me all the time by calling me a retard and saying my mom was a drug addict when she was pregnant (she had his side on this of course) and then when he refused to speak to me she called me a bitch because 'she was out with her friends' when I messaged her about it. The second I did eventually talk to this guy he called me a liar and didn't ever tell me why exactly he was so horrible to me even though I literally mentioned how shitty everything has been with my dad doubling down on the abuse and everyone talking about money non stop.
Even now I'm willing to listen to her if she would listen to me despite her new SJW phase (ie: said rosaries were cultural appropriation because I wanted to wear one despite not being Christian levels of SJW).
For some reason the mediator didn't want my mom and dad to pay for an evaluation either? They did it anyway but he's such a shady creep.
At least I'm looking for jobs because I actually genuinely really enjoy working, but it's really hard to sit in the same house as my dad.
Thanks anon, she's kind of like that in general since she just tends to change her personality and moral standings depending on who she's around or what's popular (ie: friend and I kept recommending a manga to her which she ignored and then acted like she was the biggest fan of once the anime came out for it and said I was a gatekeeper for teasing her about watching it only now that's it's popular)
I think I've been doing slightly better with ditching them though since I've mostly been hanging out with my two friends into VNs and stuff (main hobby currently).
Stick with those VN friends. The SJW circle will take a long
time to realize they're too authoritarian and their circle will get smaller and smaller.
I'd say the main thing I wish is that the before mentioned SJW friend let me warn her, since I'm pretty sure she's gonna be next, that or another girl who got bitched at by the before mentioned guy for posting something not offensive or anything but just that personally ignored him to which she had to beg for his forgiveness.
It's just such a fucked up friend dynamic group that I'm kinda happy I got out of in retrospect since there were a bunch of other things that bugged me like how little they cared that someone who used to be in it (before me) had killed themselves.
>>514174>A lot of my friends became huge SJWs for no reason the second I pointed out how trans people reinforce gender stereotypes a lot (keep in mind this is the group that screams racial profanities at fucking smash bros every chance they get)
Every fucking time.>"YOU FUCKING NIGGER FAGGOT KIKE JEW SPIC BITCH CUNT wa-he-hey did that person just say something transphobic?! time to kick this bigot's ass!!!!"
Anyway you don't need your shit friends. Eventually some of them will slip up and say something offensive and get isolated just like you. "Friend" groups policing each others' words and thoughts always end up being extremely toxic
and only lasting because the people involved know too much shit about each other. It's a blessing they kicked you out actually, now you can meet people who aren't batshit insane. I hope everything turns out well for you anon!
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Haha! Thanks for the advice! Your post made me laugh since it was so accurate, despite that I'll probably feel bad for whoever gets kicked out next since I'm just that type of person I suppose.
It's honestly not worth it, they will kick out people with the best success in the group first. The more degenerate the person is, the more likely they'll stay and lead the group. I'm saying this as someone who used to be in SJW circles. Your friends become members and it's a competition to be the most "pure" and outspokenly edgy.
I once fucked up and went on a long rant about how badly Tumblr fucked up gender nonconformity and slapped glitter and rainbows over conservatism. The only people who came at me publicly were the men in the group. I had to apologize profusely and basically lie saying my meds were fucking with me (I haven't been on meds in years lol) that was basically the same day I renounced my womanhood after identifying as agender/non-binary. Trust me, so much daily stress is going to practically disappear after ditching this group.
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Fuck your friends. I've been slowly kicking anyone out who agrees with troons or sjw thought policing. Pic related just switch it with tra logic compared to your friendship. If the relation is that fragile then they weren't holding on much anyway.
Yeah, imagine basing your entire friendships on who can outperform themselves the most. I was 22 when this happened so I also can't imagine how anybody younger than me could handle it. Another thing, of the men that came after me publicly, only one was my age, everyone else was at most 4 years younger than me. I'm honestly glad I didn't surround myself around more men my age or else I feel it would've been harder to quietly back away from the ideology. I almost considered dating one of these so called "friends", but I'm glad I found my current boyfriend who is a sane person without any degeneracies of the like and had no idea who anybody in the group was.
This wasn't no "we're anti fascist, please be our friends" kind of group, this was a "we like video games and drawing art, please be our friends!" kind of group.
kek, I meant it as an idiom, anon. I can see why you'd be confused.
> 3. To overexert oneself.
Don't kill yourself trying to get the report done tonight—it's not due until next week anyway.
A red flag of what?
I don't go to school or anything so it's easy not to have friends. And the friends I used to have all just drifted apart from me eventually
Trust me you don't want those toxic
cunts as friends. You might be alone for a while but it will get better anon.
Also, I can pretty much guarantee no catholic actually gives a shit if you wear a rosary..
I hate people who pretend to be nice in exchange for something or aren't genuine about it.
A girl told me she wanted to share some chocolate with me, I tried to break the bar but I got a lot more chocolate than I thought, so I told her "oh wow, sorry, I think I got too much" and she answered "yeah".
I just left the chocolate there and said: "ah, I'm sorry, it's ok, I won't eat it".
She just packed it again without sayin a word.
There's another girl in my group who is constatly talking about how she always is "SO NICE!!1!" to everyone, but nobody is to her. She is pissy at people who don't shower her with affection anytime she's upset and demonizes those people like they are suddenly the worst. Meanwhile, she doesn't really care about everyone, she just talks to people when she's bored and wants them to entertain her. She can't grasp the possibility that those people are busy, sad or stressed themselves, everything is about her. She seems to remember anything nice she does to you and expects you to "repay" her.
Be nice because you want to make people happy, not because you are supossed to or to held people accountable. Nobody asked you to be nice.
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Sometimes, usually children or elderly/clearly disabled folks. Recently in my city there was a full grown adult man who was attacked and bit on the leg by one, completely unprovoked, so that has me a little more apprehensive about them. Don't know if it was rabid.
I suspect they're more common now because there's a lot of construction in the area, and right now it's breeding season and that tends to make them a bit more aggressive. >>514122
That vid gave me the creeps. They've also scared the piss out of me and make horrifying sounds at night.
Okay, fuck it, we're going full 'yote on this thread. I think they're fascinating animals, but damn I wish they would just fuck off. My stupid neighbors used to leave their garbage bags out a lot, which is like a whole-ass invitation for these fuckers. I was also leaving for work early in the morning like >>514167
except this coyote was muchin on some garbage by my car and we both spooked each other (I didn't see it before opening the door) and it ran away only a short distance. Had a stare-off with this garbage-masticating beast. My ass needed to leave for work and this damn coyote was too close. I had to haze it away and it was scary trying to lock my door, walk down the path to my car, all the while staring down this wild devil dog. Have a security camera (not posting here for obv reasons) that showed the damn thing going back to its trash feast after I had left. Luckily I haven't seen any since then, but I know they're around.
I love the vids even though some make me sad but there is a certain odd vibe
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The sound when they're all whining at once is like a horror film score.>>514357
This stuff might be daily life to you but it's so interesting to me because I've never experienced it, even stories about raccoons stealing things are exotic to me. I'm here for everyone's mundane wildlife blogs lol. I'm glad the only thing I'll ever encounter stealing my rubbish is a cute fox like pic related though, if I lived somewhere with bears or poisonous snakes I'd just die immediately.
I'm a GNC woman and I have been ever since I realized I looked more better in androgynous/masculine fashion and hair. It doesn't make me feel bad, in fact, it gives me extreme euphoria rather than being forced into dresses or shit like that. I hate trannies so there's no way I'm ever calling myself a genderspecial or anything.
But recently, everyone, especially people older than me (I'm 19), have been telling me that I'll never get a man to love me if I keep looking like a guy. They say that I have to change myself (grow my hair out, wear more makeup, act like a girl) if I want a boyfriend.
Am I wrong for thinking that I /don't/ need to change for any man? Like, if I wanted a boyfriend, I'd want one that doesn't care if I'm not stereotypically feminine, or am I just stupid and naïve?
You don't need to change anything anon. If you're not comfortable with the way you look you're gonna feel miserable even if you have a boyfriend.
Let them seethe, and dress however you want.
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My favourite fakeboycow trooned out and is cutting her tits off.
I'm unemployed, so at least professional therapy isn't on the cards at the moment.
If it's not too personal, what was the fault? Like what made it so you're thinking about this stuff constantly? And how was it "fixed"? I mean was it something innate in you that still bubbles up or was there a moment where you could finally conclude that it's bullshit and were more or less good from then on?
You did what you had to.
I don't think you'd be with a rancid dude for his money if you had alternatives, and people need money to survive and live a quality life. It wasn't a good choice, but I understand it.
And let's not kid ourselves and act like the ugly guy didn't get anything out of being in a relationship and having sex with a woman out of his league either. You both had something to gain from each other, it either works out or it doesn't.
That said, you've done better for yourself. Give yourself time and forgiveness, you won't think about it in a few more years.
You saved yourself with the last sentence, everything else was rubbish.>you did what you had to do
No. Needing money doesn't mean you have to be with a wealthy guy, you can also do low wage jobs, you know? But I understand not everyone feels too low to work for a minimum wage…where's this world with lazy bums going to?
You sound like someone who's never had to work "low wage" jobs, or you'd realize how difficult if not impossible it is to live on one. Completely delusional and naive.
What's your age dear?
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Have you only played the phone game? The real game isn't the same. Anyway if you have played one of the mainline games, on the one hand I see where you're coming from because I don't get the people who can play continually for years. There's people who still fire up New Leaf every damn day. That's crazy to me. I love AC and I have NH preordered, I expect to play religiously for 6 months and then from time to time for the next 6 after that and probably forget about it. What has made the experience more lively for me in the past is that I always had irl friends or family living in my town so there is a real organic element to complement what's manufactured.
To me the heart of animal crossing is designing and decorating and if someone doesnt enjoy that on a deep level they will never like AC. When I start fading out of my town it'll be because there aren't any more pwp's or furniture or art I'm interested in collecting and arranging.
A middle class camgirl doesn't physically put herself in the field or fuck ugly men. Not an equivalence in this situation.
But I have no doubt camgirling for money is much more lucrative than most entry level wages a young middle class girl would earn.
Last time someone asked me my age in a condescending way she was 20.
As for you, you sound like a dumbass poorfag. I have no problem with genuine poorfags who can't even land a job to clean toilets, but dumbass poorfags are fucking lame.
I have never even played the phone game, I only played the gba and the 3ds versions. I was a big fan, otherwise I wouldn't say the positive things about it, I still am, but it's a shit boring game for kids.
Play happy home then, at least your town won't die. And most people who play new leaf are friendless furry autists it seems.
Maybe you're arguing within your age bracket if you find you're picking a lot of fights with 20 year olds. Speaks to your immaturity.
>you sound like a dumbass poorfag
I'm actually an educated and accomplished officefag who understands the struggles of having little money and a low wage.
You're aggressive with me because you didn't like what I said to OP, because how dare I have some empathy I suppose. Just stop replying if you think my opinion is rubbish. Literally no one asked you.
>>514496>trapped>dumped him>wasn't really trapped>"feels raped" because of obligation to be vapid for a paypig
you're a disgrace>>514514
She obviously wasn't out of his league if all it took was waving some money for her to throw away common sense.
You: having job(s) does not give you an easy life haha.
Just stop already mom.
OP didn't mention children. If it's only affecting her life then your personal details aren't relevant. OP even says she's doing her own thing.
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I'm looking back at my last relationship and cringing the fuck out at how overly dramatic and emotional I was. We weren't even together a whole six months and I reacted to our breakup like it was serious. Granted he was an asshole to me and said 'I love you' first but still. I'm so fucking embarrassed, his family probably thinks I'm a psycho. I dont know how to live it down. I just want to have my memory wiped please
I feel empathy for you OP. If you had worded it differently (downplayed your feelings), some anons wouldn’t have reacted so rabidly. >I was financially dependent on an ugly shit bf and felt forced to fuck him
Not saying their reaction is your fault. Bitches going on about “mUh poOOr mALe getting used by dumb white roastie” is sus af, didn’t even pretend to larp as a SWERF with their retard camwhore comparison. Literal whores feel raped too, only men don’t understand this. Anyway, good on you for pulling yourself out, please get some therapy.
What's the point of replying to every anon because you're angry that they don't have the same opinion as you? It's been hours.>but it's about a lack of self-respect!
I think anon learned her lesson regarding that, and stated she moved on from that way of living. And again as other anons have stated, a lot of relationships are transactional and that's the reality of matters.
I called whores whores, nice try. You on the other hand call people poorfag like it’s an insult, in true brain dead middle class fashion. You have to lack self-respect to choose to live in abject poverty in favor of a minimum wage job. You have to lack self-respect to date broke men. You have to lack self-respect to wear clown makeup for the male gaze. You have to lack self-respect to work white collar for abusive
capitalists. People debase themselves for anything they view as valuable, which is (surprise!) subjective. You can keep your shit argument about arbitrary black and white self-respect measurement.
I never called anyone poorfag but okay. That's not me.>You have to lack self-respect to choose to live in abject poverty in favor of a minimum wage job. You have to lack self-respect to date broke men. You have to lack self-respect to wear clown makeup for the male gaze. You have to lack self-respect to work white collar for abusive capitalists.
Yeah okay? Did I say it wasn't? Stop arguing with people who don't exist.
Pfffft yeah okay. You lot expressly chided OP for not having a ~self respecting~ job above being financially dependent on a man. Which, she didn’t even say that she didn’t have a job. You were actually just being assholes because she said felt raped.> Stop arguing with people who don't exist
Holy irony batman
>>514574>I don't think I'll ever be able to make music because I don't have any talent nor do I have any musical background.
G E T F L S T U D I O
Honestly it's so fun. Save up for it or download the cracked version and watch a few yt tutorials, it's like a rabbit hole and there is so much to learn in a very entertaining way.
How are you not well?
Just wondering if I might be similar to you.
Damn anon. You should try looking for any job (burger flipping, janitor, literally anything) so you can quite the sex trade industry. Some places might offer help for women who want to quite sex work so i recommend asking/searching for that in your area. If it makes you feel better I have some music resources for you along with a software https://mega.nz/#F!eJsB0ICb!Okg4yzecyMlycHmmJfvhtQ
you can also use libgen.is/b-ok.cc to look for any boom file
I just have a lot of stuff wrong with me I guess, but everyone does in a way. I have recently made a vent but I don't wanna link the post.
I was recently diagnosed with aspergers, I was sexually abused as a child and had family issues, I live in a very unsupportive environment, I'm suicidal, I self harm etc.
The thing with what is defined as "maladaptive daydreaming" in psychology/psychiatry today is just a characteristic of people that are very imaginative and creative but when done as a coping mechanism it probably means you are missing something from your life or trying to escape reality. For me maladaptive daydreaming takes a very big portion of my life and I have been doing it as a coping mechanism since my childhood and since I have gotten abused. I have routines of maladaptive daydreaming and very specific scenarios I imagine myself in that bring me joy but maladaptive daydreaming also represents something that makes me become very disconnected from reality and since I do it obsessivelly it takes a very large portion of my time.
You said you imagine yourself being friends with people or interacting with exes. That's exactly what I do during my maladaptive daydreaming "sessions". I imagine I'm friends with people I know in real life but I'm not friends with or I interact with people that were present in my life in the past or even people that don't exist at all, I have my own imaginary world I'm very embarassed of and sometimes I just wonder am I completely fucking insane? I just get embarrassed when I have to interact with the people that are in my fantasies and it makes me feel like a fucking weirdo. Also, you said you only do it sometimes. I think a lot of people do it sometimes and I think it is normal when done in moderation. You could try writing.
Also, since I have told you about myself I guess you could try telling me about yourself too in similar lines as I did. I'm curious too, I haven't really talked with people about my maladaptive daydreaming issue and it seems a lot of them don't understand because they either don't do it or they're not aware of it.
I said sometimes but to be honest at certain times it is frequent, like when I'm going through a difficult break up which I am right now.. My life is not very good in general and I'm lonely so I don't have a lot of things to focus on and be happy about, I like to imagine getting back together with my ex and I partially also tell myself that maybe he will come back and it's truly the only way I can cope. Things with us ended because I was too negative.. I have difficult self esteem and anxiety issues. I kind of ruined all my relationships the same way and the daydreaming is something I did really really often involving a certain ex. Also it's often not just involving the person but it also involves events I would like to go to and then I imagine that they're watching a screen that shows pictures or videos of me like that I uploaded or was tagged in lol
I'm clearly doing it because I don't want to face reality but I can't think of a better coping mechanism. One problem though is that I do slightly worry when I think about my exes or right now my last ex, that I shouldn't think about them that way anymore and that it might bother them if they knew etc..
Hi, thank you. I can't quit now because if I quit now I will be ruined. I live in a very shitty country that's very sexist and that has no social support for such issues. I consider myself lucky compared to other women in my country that have to deal with real life prostitution and are in danger of dying every minute. The difference is that what I will do will forever stay on the internet in the eyes of anyone that wants to hurt me by using that information or maybe one of the obsessed neckbeards that gives me money will find me one day and will kill me.
I started doing this 2 years ago and I started doing it because I was being very suicidal, I had a lot of trauma due to my childhood and wanted to escape being poor and thought I didn't have any better chances at life anyway, than online sex work. The way online sex work was presented to me back then seemed like the best option but it was the worst thing I could have ever done with my life and now there's no going back. I'm in therapy but ironically the only thing that makes me able to stay in therapy is also the thing that makes me wanna kill myself the most (online sex work). I'm even getting a college education but I know I won't be able to do anything with it since my career and my life have already been decided when I had just turned 18. Someone from college has recently discovered my sex work and I'm getting humiliated everywhere and everyone is looking down on me, I'm not the type of woman to do sex work anyway. I don't know how some women can proudly tell the world what they're doing and I can't understand how women from nice countries that had social support and nice childhoods choose sex work over the other opportunities that they have. I think they must be fools or maybe they hate themselves too and get subconsciously manipulated by the way sex work is sold as the best thing in the world and once they are in it, they can't backpedal and they have to talk about how amazing sex work is ending up convincing even more girls to do it.
I really do want to kill myself and I am afraid I will kill myself before my dreams come true and I don't wanna die before that, I really don't. I'm actually working on three books and in one of them I will be talking about sex work and my experience with it as an eastern european child sexual abuse survivor. Also, I'm taking responsibility for my actions, I've been told I portray myself as a victim
and I don't want to. I just know my life as a whole has influenced the choices I have made but I do take responsibility for them.
Thank you for the link, maybe it will help me get closer to my dreams before I inevitably perish. I don't wanna be famous or something, I just wanna be able to express myself through music and writing before I die. I don't care if people will give me approval or if they will like it. I just want to read my book and think "this is truly what I was thinking and I perfectly conveyed it through words" I want to make music, listen to it and think "This is truly what I have felt and I have perfectly conveyed through sounds".
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NTA but wow anon I'm sorry you're going through all of that. I hope you're okay. Have you thought about publishing your book anonymously?
It's valentine's day and I binged on garbage food yesterday (fucking sandwiches) so today I can't binge chocolate. >>514576
….I left the convo hours ago. Also, have sex.
First and foremost I'm proud of you getting therapy (Though I feel you did the most work in bettering yourself)
Out of curiosity why is getting into the music industry the first example you gave? I ask because I've known people who were really talented but they were forced to keep it either as a part time job or a plain hobby. I don't believe in letting go of dreams entirely of course, but make multiple plans for your promising future when you're ready.
Regarding your sexist shithole: I feel if you've processed this (you're strong enough to do it, I don't know you of course, but I'm a fan of some of your mindset) and detoxed from this work, I assume you live in a EU country, you could move to a better country so you can start over again. Change your name, be whoever you wanna be. People can always change and become really good and the best. There are plenty of now respected people who have done sex work. I've known some myself.
Who cares what other women think about how sex work feels to them, as long if it doesn't influence you. Nobody except the naive people truly believes they're happy anyways.
Best of luck!
It's too late anon, it's already at the dump.
Thanks for the tip though, I never even heard of universal remotes.
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Speak for yourself but my curly hair at my prime was gorgeous. Bleaching hurt my curl pattern but it ain't anything that can't be improved with protien treatments.
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My dad forgot to call on my birthday yesterday. He texted me today saying he would this evening and sent an egift. We have a 3 hour time difference between. He's not calling me tonight because it's too late there.
i mean, i probably could. i could list off excuses like 'i already walk this number of miles at work a day'/'my feet feel like theyre on fire'/'i dont have much free time and i dont want to spend that free time doing things that stress me out'
but yeah, i could. i just know i used to be able to lose weight no problem without exercising. exercising would help tone the areas to minimize excess skin (i dropped a shit ton of weight really fast, dont do anorexia kids), but wasnt necessary in losing weight itself, i dont even recall it helping me lose weight, and i'd exercise for at least an hour about 4 days a week and 25-30 minutes the other days.
i used to be able to eat nothing but cookies some days and still lose or not gain weight, even though i wouldnt move from my chair, but now that im active, i guess im overcompensating? or stress eating more? fuck if i know. it sucks. my body was already gross looking and now its worse because im gaining weight back and i dont even look thin with clothes on anymore.
we have bread, im lactose intolerant, eggs make me nauseous (probably because thats what i used to eat a lot of to lose weight). hard to eat healthy meals when theres few meals here to begin with. i live with my boyfriend's parents whose idea of a home-cooked dinner is plastic wrapped salisbury steak and stringy mashed potatoes. his dad has eating issues and his wife enables him, so most of the pantry is just snack cakes and chips. i try to buy my own food, but i dont have space for it (and i feel like im wasting my money because ill gain weight anyway), and its rude for me to reject their dinners (which they insist on plating themselves, to split up everything into somewhat even portions, so as to not leave anything in a pan? cause god forbid you have leftovers or something)
its all weird. im not going to say ive tried everything or that i cant do anything more, but theres a lot of weird things to work around that i just dont have the energy to to be honest
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How do i get rid of this shit? It's not even creative for me, it's hours upon hours of me imagining my husbandos telling me that i'm cool
I'm turning 24 next month and this is the first time ever that I'm not looking forward to my birthday. I feel like I've missed out on so much in my 20s so far by not having any friends, not having enough money, or not enough energy and motivation (I've been somewhat depressed and anxious for six years now, I've gotten slightly better though). I moved to a smaller town because I applied to a school here, and it's been pretty terrible. There's pretty much nothing to do if you don't already have a friend group. I used to like going out to see rock/metal shows at this one bar and it also gave me an excuse to socialize, but the place got a new owner some time ago, the bar started catering more to "normies" and older people and now there are no more shows, so now there's pretty much no reason for me to leave my apartment, besides the gym.
Normally I should be graduating this year, moving away and getting a job, but I had to take a break for mental health reasons. Now I realized I'm gonna be 27 by the time I graduate. I feel like I'm so behind on everything, socially, mentally and financially. I think I'm having a legit quarter-life crisis rn
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANON!!!!!
holy shit this image is so relateable kek
I'm in a pretty similar situation and as >>514608
, I'm not mentally well either but definitely better.I keep being pretty unaware of my surroundings when I'm just doing inane shit and I hate I forget easily due to this and getting depressed I can't achieve the situations I daydream about and loose my time daydreaming instead of actually doing something with my life.
Since there's likely another mental problem involved,I'd suggest some sort of therapy.If this isn't an easy option,meditation.Sometimes it helps.Also actually noticing the enviroment around you instead of daydreaming.And a bigger step would be doing some sort of activity and actually working on the things that you like and would improve your life.
I'm still struggling with it esp when I'm feeling like shit and it's a coping mechanism I had since forever,but you can at least be aware of it and try to be more mindful.Maladaptive daydreaming is harmful in the long run.
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I am genuinely ugly. Not in the oh god, serious disease way, but in the mundane way. Deep nasolobial folds, double chin despite weight loss, Quasimodo levels of uneven eyes, teeth that are never quite white despite good dental hygiene, small, squinty hooded eyes, thin, straight hair, and I have no other way to describe it, day girl mouth. My lips are big but short, horizontally. Like pic related mouth only not eating 10k calories a day
Gee anon, I don't know if it will make you feel better lol, but I think ALR would be pretty if she lost 400 pounds? Like idk if you're posting her pic as an example of her features being like yours, but the reason why hers look so small is because her face is gargantuan. I thought that was part of the reason why she got hated on so bad, because she'd be pretty if she lost weight?
I don't really see something wrong with her lips except that they're on a 600 pound body /2c
You might be a little harsh on yourself.
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>tfw no tall butch gf to kiss today
why even keep going