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No. 503772

Previous thread:

No. 503773


No. 503774

I HATE PAYING RENT SO MUCH why do I have to use almost all of my money just to keep a goddamn roof over my head! I can't even save money because of course I have to use it all on fucking RENT and bills at some point! I had a little over 100€ saved but now it's back to square fucking one

No. 503776

I finally started to embrace my real personality which is being a major bitch. Feels good.

No. 503779

Girls with naturally silky hair have it so good. Like the kind of hair that you can brush daily and sleep on without it messing up. I have naturally really curly hair, so I can’t brush it without it turning into a frizzy cloud on my head. If I want to attempt any cute braided hairstyles I have to brush it out, and if it fails, the only way to reset it is by washing/getting it wet again. Which, on its own, is a 50/50 chance it will dry non-frizzy and nice looking. I do like my hair when it’s working with me, but watching hair style tutorials on YouTube with girls freely running their hands through their hair and easily putting it into super cute styles is making me huffy..

No. 503789

wear wigs

No. 503794

i have no friends and no idea how to make any to begin with, offline at least. i never got the chance to develop any social skills due to pretty extreme bullying in hs, and even a while after graduating i haven't completely recovered. i'm still terrified of everyone

No. 503797

hey anon, i know how you feel. i wish i could give you advice on how to find friends, but I'm still in the same situation as you. but I hope you know that far far more people than you think struggle with having no friends, and that it doesn't make you a loser or defective.

No. 503807

Sometimes I feel this strong wave of sadness which controls every little part of me and I can’t help but cry my eyes out because I miss someone who can’t ever be replaced.
I was just watching the last scene of American Beauty and I started to think about my mother and I couldn’t help myself.
Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll forget her voice. Her smell. I can't throw her purses away even after all this time. I’m afraid because all I have are memories and this pain is unbearable at moments like these. I can’t believe this is all left, just memories.
I need more. I need to talk with her, to give her just a last hug and knowing it's impossible feels like nothing else, feels like I want to die right at this moment.
And I know tomorrow will be better. I know tomorrow I’ll come here and probably I’ll feel ashamed of myself but right now…Right now I don’t care.

No. 503808


ANON PLEASE take these posts advice and get the FUCK away form that mentally ill piece of shit. If your friends love an abuser so much they are pieces of shit too. If they don’t believe you they are NOT worthy of your time and energy. Literally FUCK them and FUCK this dude. You can disappear and when he can’t find you his true colors will come out to the people around you. Be very careful who you trust with your new contact info as well. I have had “friends” give my changed phone number to stalkers. I wish you the best and I know how hopeless it feels but you can fucking do it. I don’t usually condone calling the police but absolutely get SOMEONE involved. You do NOT deserve this life or even to have your life ended by some psycho because people are too scared to be a fucking terf or politically incorrect.

No. 503809

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i feel like i am never content with my life. the other day i was thinking about how everything that i was depressed about last year (not having a car/my license, still living with my parents, working at a job with poor pay) i now have. but i am still not happy. in fact, i don’t remember the last time i’ve felt genuine joy. my life feels so bleak. i don’t know if there’s any way i can fix this.

No. 503811

welcome to adulthood, anon. take a seat with the rest of us…

No. 503812

Holy shit going through the raised by narcissists subreddit has connected so many dots for me. I thought it was common parents never taught their children how to clean and would just expect them to magically know. This is why I don't even know how to clean my own house. Fuck man…

No. 503813

The guys who interest me I never get anywhere serious with, but the guys who are old or who I'm not attracted to want me

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, cock, shit, balls, motherfuck.

No. 503815

My vent is I read posts like these on here day in day out and yet can't befriend you guys… we're just here to suffer I guess

No. 503817

Kek radfems got btfod and my vent is finally damn

No. 503819

File: 1578977045358.jpg (28.89 KB, 621x636, 1576986254579.jpg)

Everyone is somehow holding it together and hoping for the best and here I am unable to keep from crying like a little bitch at work. This is a new step of life for someone I love and all I can think about is the small percentage that the surgery won't be successful and they'll die. This isn't what anyone needs. They don't deserve this kind of bullshit from me. I know all this but I still can't pull myself together enough to face anyone. They deserve better.

No. 503830

I just realized recently that I don't remember any adult ever teaching me anything in my entire childhood. I learned early stuff like how to read from my brother and had to infer how the world worked myself after that. Don't remember learning anything in school that I didn't forget as soon as we stopped doing it or already know either.

No. 503831

I’m thinking of posting a selfie of myself on my Instagram and it makes me sweat just thinking about it. It’s so dumb because social media is meant for this and when I used to post on my cosplay accounts it was so easy for my internet persona to post my face (although cosplay makeup and a filter helps) and now I can barely do it for my normie/real me accounts.
I feel so beyond ugly all the time and I feel like I will look conceited for posting my own face. But I know it’s not that deep and no one actually cares. I think I’ll do it to step out of my comfort zone.

No. 503832

Adopted a new cat a couple weeks ago and in that time she's turned into a complete glutton. She is ALWAYS hungry and will eat endlessly if given the chance. She steals are other cat's food as well (he's a bit chubby and on a diet so he doesn't get fed much anyway, but now he barely gets any food because he only likes to eat a little at a time and she gorges herself as soon as he's done). She's always constantly on the lookout for more food and is a complete fucking nuisance in the kitchen when there's nothing in her bowl, and she will try to steal food when we eat at the table. She's only about a year old and quite small. I took her to the vet last week and they didn't seem to think anything was wrong and that her weight is good, but I'm wondering if she has hyperthyroidism or something. She IS a very active cat, but her desperation to constantly eat seems abnormal. Even my fat cat isn't that much of a glutton.

No. 503834

What are those dots about?

No. 503838

I hate people who pretend to care about the environment and say they're EdUcAteD and not like the pOlluTiNg pLeB yet buy 10kg of meat per week and fill their huge ass house with useless trinkets and status objects and 1000 books they'll never read but the cover is so pretty uwu and they have breed dogs and go on long distance flight holidays thrice a year and have 2 SUV's and look down on people for taking public transportation because sOmeTiMes iT's lAtE. As long as those people aren't directly affected by climate change they won't make any effort but keep saying they cArE and it drives me nuts. Human beings are a fucking idiot species that can't see long term or fathom the fact that a problem still exists even if it's not right under their noses and if we all die or have to live on a shitty desertification'd, toxic planet it's our own fucking fault and we deserve it.

No. 503842

Guy I met with a nice dick had terrible anxiety and a meltdown during my time with him and I doubt he will want to see me again probably due to the shame and embarrassment he will associate with our meeting. RIP.

No. 503852

If she's really small maybe she's still growing and needs extra nutrition. Maybe try letting her eat as much as she wants as long as she doesn't look like she's getting fat.

No. 503853

This whole environmental awareness trend is just for upper middle class people to feel special. Lol honestly come into a low income household and half the shit these guys preach we've been doing since we were young, it's basically second nature. We're the most frugal bunch out there.

No. 503856

This, also if she was in a shelter environment with lots of cats she might have had to compete for resources and thinks she has to eat as much as possible before another cat steals it. If it's only been a few weeks give her time to settle and adjust to new habits. If she is eating a lot but not gaining or losing weight then she probably needs it.

No. 503865

Seriously. I 100% support living a zero waste lifestyle and all, but most eco-conscious people, especially New Worlders, just… don't.

They have a 10 step Korean skincare routine using products they order online, they use HelloFresh because they can't even boil an egg let alone cook, they have a walk-in wardrobe chock full of clothes, a "seasonal capsule wardrobe" for them is my entire year's worth of clothing, they drive out to eat, they have a vanity full of makeup they don't know how to use, they follow the KonMari method and "declutter" once a month because they've wasted so much money on useless shit that they don't have any more room for it, they will try to be "minimalist" by throwing out their current shit and buy replacements for said shit that is just more expensive and minimally designed. They have a dryer and act disgusted when you tell them you can just put your clothes out to line dry because "I don't have time for that". They wash their clothes after one wear because wearing jeans twice in a row is "gross".

They're acting like it's some revolutionary thing when my whole family has been living like this for generations, the more I listen to North Americans (and upper middle class Europeans, mostly UK) talk about their weird ass habits the more I realize they've become so detached from the realities of life that they'd die of hunger or thirst if they were left in a rural house in a slightly less developed European country for more than two days.

The funny thing is, I'm hearing so many people complain about clutter, debt and having no money to pay bills. Which is absolutely an issue, but it would be less of one if people nowadays weren't so spoiled.

No. 503868

Reminds me that my dad is an avid supporter of Greta Thunberg but flies all the time, never recycles, and owns two SUVs.

No. 503870

Have you had her treated for worms?

No. 503883


Yep. Yet the ones who'll suffer the most from climate change are the lower class. I know life isn't fair, but we're seriously reaching peak irony.

Amen. The makeup, the skin care, the clothes, the frequent declutter, you nailed it all. And those are always the loudest about saving the turtles and donating to half-scam charities. Meanwhile they look weird at people who stop to talk to the homeless or who refuse to own a car because public transportation is enough for them. I hate it. Then there's this new trend of buying experiences instead of material gifts, which comes from a good place, but ends up just displacing the waste created because the experience still needs to be cool and instagram worthy amiright?

No. 503890

go for it my bunya, social media is a part of life and posting a selfie is completely normal. life happens on the internet these days so get involved!

No. 503979

I wish I looked my age for once in my fucking life. I'm 23 but have been mistaken for 15! Other times people just think I'm 17. I know women here hate on anons who say they are ~smol~ and shit but I genuinely struggle and it's in no way something I would wanna brag about. In fact, I actively try to avoid "exposing" my age when I meet people because their reactions make me so damn uncomfortable.
I wanna talk to guys my age and older yet I feel like a fucking kid crushing on some older dude, and they usually think I'm someone's little sister that tagged along.
It's embarrassing and it makes me see myself like a teenage girl too instead of a grown woman..

No. 503991

Went to dinner at my boyfriends today with some of his family. His family is huge. My close family is just my mom so I'm not very used to family gatherings particularly in later years.
His sisters husband commented that I'd lost weight. I've always been naturally skinny but have gone down a few kilos. I don't know how well he remembers me since the last time he saw me though as we've only met once years before.
We had pork rib for dinner and my bf's dad asked if I wanted some of the crispy fat on the side. I said no thanks as I don't like it much and he's all like "You need it though!" He probably means well but it's kinda uncomfortable because he has commented on it once before.
Also his mother asked if I had a burn on my face. I just awkwardly said my cystic acne was really bad lately.
They're all really nice but small comments like this really burn into my mind lately.

No. 503997

I'm sure they mean well, I get it I have issues myself and whatever comment about my body anyone throws at me I see it as a personal attack, but try not to whoever it comes from, you are there for a reason because your boyfriend wants you there and we wants you to be part of his family and I am sure these people are just worried about you as if you were a member of the family I doubt they mean any harm. Don't let these self doubts cloud your relationships anon

No. 504002

No, I know. As I said they're all really nice. I just needed to vent about it. I'm so hard on myself so even getting compliments can be hard to deal with. I'll get over it, just makes me self conscious for a little while.

No. 504024

It's been a couple days since my post but I wanted to say thanks anon! Your situation sounds tougher than mine and I hope you can move out soon and meet someone nice! I'm too weird to attract any Muslim guys (any, really) kek so I have that going for me. And hopefully that plan to travel works out you and have a great time; visiting new places and seeing the world is wonderful. I resent my family in some ways but they've taken me to many places and I'm grateful for that.

I'm in my third year and live on campus, but at home during breaks. My parents plan to move far away after I graduate and I plan to stick around so I should have some privacy. And I hope I can make some stronger friendships but getting close and having those organically come about will be hard for me.

No. 504027

It's probably more to do with your attire and the way you style yourself, fam. If you're still dressing and styling like you're 17 I've got bad news as to why people still think you're juvenile, and it's not cause you physically look it.

No. 504044

I fucking hate the smell of smoke so much. It triggers my PTSD like crazy. I'm starting to try not to associate it with bad memories but it's difficult at times. It took me 4 years to fully feel normal and it lasted a year or so until I had a setback. Now I'm just so sensitive again. My boyfriend started vaping about like 2 years ago and it's helped my anxiety be under control so much but I still freaked out over the sight of smoke. Now he's back to smoking again and it just fills the entire house. It's below freezing so he doesn't wanna go outside to smoke and he's already hanging out in his boxers and just wants to be comfortable, but the smell just makes me so uncomfortable now. I spray and spray odor eliminator to mask the smell and he complains it's just damp and smells like chemicals now. I can't even hide under the covers until the smell goes away because he says I'm weird for doing so. This is dumb, let me cope the way I want to. Even when he's not at home I come home from work and the first thing I smell is a big whiff of smoke lingering before he left for work. I just want him to vape again. Am I the asshole? Am I exaggerating? Is this normal?

No. 504046

My job keeps fucking me around because the people in charge are incompetent narcissists who think they can do no wrong. It's hard to not feel guilty and like its my fault because it isn't. I'm not a mindreader. The roster says I'm not on. It's not my problem, if no one told me i'am actually magically on? I'm pissed off I'm potentially missing out on hours all because my stupid misogynist Indian manager "forgets" to tell me I have extra hours that are not on the roster. I'm sick of this shitty job and all the people that work there. They're all unnecessarily callous/manipulative/cliquey. I know retail is cut throat but these people are just ridiculous. You're not saving the world. Calm down.

No. 504047

File: 1579053337002.png (3.16 MB, 1125x2436, 1577523745861.png)

I think I'm truly in love for the first time in my life and it feels terrifying and my autistic ass wants to run for the hills. Why am I like this?
I don't deserve that nigga

No. 504051

If he's smoking inside then he's the asshole, he's putting you at risk of cancer and stinking the place up (that smell never leaves fabric). I used to smoke and occasionally I'd smoke inside out of laziness, glad I quit because its so fucking gross and I smelled like shit.

No. 504055

File: 1579056600745.png (1.53 MB, 1184x1138, yeah.png)

i’m sorry but this is going to be long because i really, really need to vent to unbiased peoples and y’all are my best option.

i’m currently living in a house with my parents, my brother and his girlfriend. they’ve been living in this house for less than a year.

so, i’ve known my brother’s girlfriend (i’ll call her G to make it easier) for about 3 years and we got along great. but i noticed a trend she had with her roommates and coworkers—they all were amazing until one day she decided they were awful and she had to quit the job/move out ASAP due to their terribleness. it struck me as odd but she was always so sweet to me that i figured she just had bad luck or something.

when they moved into our house, at first it was good. she was still really sweet and fun to be around. but within a couple months, her demeanor towards me changed. she wouldn't talk to me. if i forgot my key and had to be let inside, she would open it and immediately walk away. i had my best friend over for the summer and she acted the same way towards her, even though they had gotten along when they met a year before—my best friend was even excited to be able to hang out with G! besides my friend she remained super sweet to everyone else so i assumed it was something i did wrong.

i don't want to make this a sob story but i will say this for background info. i have struggled with mental health for a long time, a couple years back i was in-and-out of psych programs and inpatient and had to leave school due to it. i was diagnosed with schizoaffective, which has thankfully been mostly under control in the past year. G was around to witness all of this and is aware of my issues, which will be relevant.

after a few months of her singling me out, not talking to me (and being rude when she did actually talk to me) + going back to school full time for the first time in 2 years, i got very stressed out and ended up self-harming for the first time in a year. i went to our shared bathroom to bandage it, clean it etc. and accidentally left a bit of very bloody tissue in the bathroom. i know this isn’t acceptable and i should’ve been more considerate but i wasn't in the best state of mind and I'm very forgetful. anyway, G gets home with my brother and goes into the bathroom. she sees the tissue and makes a disgusted noise, saying to my brother “see what i have to deal with?” i started crying and went to my brother and explained to him what happened and that i was upset that G hated me. he said G doesn’t hate me and had her come in and we had a talk. she told me that she acted this way because she didn't like how little i cleaned (which is a fair thing to be upset about. i don't contribute enough) but she also went off about how i didn't deserve to get disability and there’s schizophrenics out there who can barely get out of bed who REALLY need it, etc. and i should just go outside more and get a job.

all of the things she told me, i agree with but i just don't think it was her place to be telling me that. she has also been disrespectful to my parents, and aggressive towards my brother, screaming at him over the cleaning after he’s worked 12+ hour shifts.

a few months ago after something happened i got it in my head that she’s plotting to kill me. i know how ridiculous that sounds to people, but when i’m home i can’t get it out of my head and i’m legitimately afraid of her. i heard her saying “i’m gonna kill her” and then to her cat, “oh no, i’m not talking about YOU.” i legit don't leave my room when she’s here. but then a part of me thinks i’m making up that i think she’s trying to kill me in my head as an excuse for being so useless and inconsiderate and not contributing to the house. so i just don't know what to think. or what to do.

TL;DR i need to move out soon

No. 504056

You are def not the asshole, anon. Cigarette smokers are the most inconsiderate people. they waste money, smoke cancer sticks , while the smoke creates tar that sticks to wall, electronics and clothing. It's disgusting.

No. 504060

She sounds like a fucking bitch. She's living in your parents house and should respect you more. No idea why she's even there. Why is your brother having his gf live there without them having a place?

Her being disrespectful is awful, and i'm sorry you have to go through that. Maybe have a family talk? because that isnt even her house to begin with

No. 504066

Cousin confessed to me as a joke that his friend forced a drunk girl to have sex with him 3 times on three different occasions and when i told him it wasn’t funny and that that was rape he said it wasn’t rape because it happened three time so she obviously wanted it. I feel so bad for this poor girl and I really hope his asshole friend rots in hell, i wish i knew who they were so i could report him. I hate men with my entire heart, he was literally laughing when he told me and then when i said it wasn’t funny and it was serious and that it was rape he got other people involved to ask for their opinion and they mostly agreed with him that it wasn’t rape. What the guy did is the textbook definition of rape and he deserves to be castrated and so does everyone who thinks what he did is right or a laughing matter. I’m so heated.

No. 504069

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I feel your pain anon, I have the same problem but mostly because I look underdeveloped, breast and hip wise, compared to other girls where I’m from. And the fact that I tend to dress a bit comfortable and not put on makeup because of my pimple ridden skin makes me look even more like a 16 year old despite being 20. I wish I could l look my age instead of being this stunted, all thanks to my shitty hormones only aiming for my face and not my boobs.

No. 504071

your parents NEED to kick her out/evict her if necessary. she's affecting you and does not even give a shit. please tell your parents to nut up and kick her out. this is bullshit and pisses me off for you tbh. she needs to leave. tell your brother he's in for a lot of misery if he insists on investing more time on someone this cruel and unreasonable. you don't need to move out. it's your parent's house!! SHE needs to go, and if your brother wants to keep her there at your expense, he needs to go too.

you and your family cannot enable this. these people will destroy your lives and getting them entangled in their property, it can be horrible and a drawn out nightmare. she needs to be dealt with and disposed of NOW before she does some nefarious shit and it ends up affecting you, your brother, or your parents even more

No. 504072


i've spoken to my parents (mostly my mom) about it, but they're incredibly non-confrontational. we all are, really, which is why she's been able to walk all over us. she has treated my brother like shit but he still loves her for some reason.

thankfully they ARE trying to move out but we live in an extremely high-cost area of living, and she keeps losing jobs. they've been looking since autumn.

thanks for the replies anons, it makes me feel less crazy. lmao

No. 504075

File: 1579059212813.jpeg (18.85 KB, 227x222, C103AFC1-024D-47D9-9413-96E59E…)

I’m convinced I have some sort of mild Aspergers. As a toddler my parents said I showed several signs of Autism, but when they got me checked out the Doctors said I was fine. As I am a girl and this was the late 90’s I’m pretty skeptical that they were correct. As a kid I had very few friends, had no idea how to interact socially, and preferred playing by myself. I remember feeling these extreme emotions but had no idea how to express them properly and basically was always having tons of meltdowns, home and school. Whenever my parents got angry I would stiffen up and go completely mute. Trying to process all those emotions was just way too much for me, and my parents couldn’t take a fucking hint and would just berate me for 45 minutes each time until they would give up. I remember failing in most social situations and feeling completely lost as to why my attempts at socialization never really worked. I took a lot of time in middle and high school trying to learn social cues and how friendships worked. It took me a long time but I was able to learn patterns in communication and that’s when it finally seemed to click. Overall I feel like I’ve learned social graces very well but it took me way longer than a majority of kids, and I still have issues when trying to navigate new situations like job hunting. Even thought I can navigate interactions much better now, I still get extremely exasperated when constantly interacting with random people, especially at work. I know most people hate retail but there are so many minute things that get on my nerves every single time I have to interact with someone I don’t know. I currently work in a tea shop and people seriously over complicate how to make tea, and ask me dumb questions about things like whether or not they can put milk in their tea. I just don’t understand why people can’t have their own autonomy about what they eat and it drives me fucking crazy. If it sounds good to you then just fucking do it, you don’t need my blessing. Tea is also another subject that I’m really passionate about and have a lot of technical knowledge on since it’s the only thing I drink besides water.

I’ve always been super interested in animation and I feel like I have a lot of knowledge about both animated works and the actual process of animation. It’s what I want to do for a career, but I’ve always been attracted to art on an almost obsessive level. The only thing that’s slowed me down is extreme depression and anxiety, but I’ve slowly been able to build my self confidence back up enough to continue making progress. I also have some sensory issues but they seemed lessened when I’m on my antidepressants. Gristle in meat automatically makes me gag, and as a kid I hated it so much that I almost never ate meat. I didn’t like chicken nuggets until high school. I also hate my nails being dragged across certain things, like nail files and sponges. I have to put pressure on my nails whenever I’m giving myself a manicure or else I get freaked out.

There are a few things that don’t really line up with Autism but I feel like the symptoms I do exhibit outweigh the ones I don’t. I had a really hard time with personal grooming during puberty and for several years spent an insane amount of effort into becoming at least average looking. I’m a fairly feminine and like things like makeup and clothes. I really hated wearing dresses and skirts up until literally a year ago though. I was an extremely sweaty kid in middle school but in retrospect I think that was more just a symptom of my awful anxiety disorder. I also got super bad cystic acne as soon as I hit 6th grade, and my desire to become attractive was in part so that I never wanted to feel like I did in middle school again. Now I have a fairly strict grooming routine that I adhere to everyday. I also feel like I have a pretty strong grasp on humor, as comedic animated shows have always been my favorite.

Overall I’m pretty convinced but I doubt I’ll be able to ever got a proper diagnosis. I feel like I’ve just had to create this persona in order to proper interact with the world. It feels like a mask I put on in order to function even though that shit is so cliche. I don’t really feel like I want to be ‘normal’ but really I just want to know the best way to navigate the world for how I think.

No. 504081

For the record it's not cigarettes, it's weed. But the smell definitely sticks. Which is why I was glad he vaped because less mess and smell and no risk of getting caught for it.

No. 504085

File: 1579061240681.jpg (163.83 KB, 537x537, 76856341_147170463252631_73365…)

When I was like 17, this kind of trashy but sweet and gullible older kid I worked with rented a room from us. I remember whenever people fucked me over he'd comfort me for hours and hug me every time I cried, he'd tell my boyfriend how lucky he was to be with me, and was just generally really kind to me when I needed emotional support, helped me at work a lot, but never was inappropriate or suggestive or anything to me. It was just really sweet and comforting.

Literally every guy with money or from a more stable economic background has been unemotional and cold with a refusal to comfort me. The problem is that these trashy guys are not very progressive and aren't really too bright in other senses. Pic related reminds me of him and the time we spent together and it makes me sad being that all this time has gone by and not one guy I've met or been with, even though all of them were older and more privileged than an ostracized 19 year old line cook trying to get his life together, have treated me with anywhere near as much tact. It's pathetic. I want to be held by someone caring and I just want a warm bf that I agree with ideologically, ffs.

No. 504088

my husband and I have been together for 12 years (3 married) and we were each other's first. He has a huge sex drive ( 4+ times a day is ideal for him) and mine has been pretty normal except for a period where I was really ill. I recently found out that he was sexting a girl from Cali behind my back during this period. I confronted him over it and he complained that I barely had any sex with him during this period and he got desperate for affection because I was too busy being sick. I prodded deeper and he's now telling me that he feels horrible that he missed out on sleeping around with other girls and doesn't know what's it like, hence him "testing his abilities" out with this chick. He said he didn't feel bad because it wasn't "real" to him, it was just texts and nothing physical. He also said he wishes we could have a threesome so we could both benefit(i'm bi) but hates the idea of opening our relationship or becoming poly because he doesn't want me to sleep with any other men. I suffer from chronic illness and there was a period where sex was very scarce because I barely had any energy or even move my limbs, but I still tried to give him a blowjob or sex at least once a week. I've recovered from my illness and moved to another city with him, but he's still bringing up the threesome thing. My mental health has taken a nosedive ever since I found his chatlogs and paranoia is eating me up inside. I depend on him almost 100% financially and going back home is not an option. I love him too much and I've put too many years of my life in this relationship. I have no idea what to do.

No. 504089

he's an asshole if he wont respect your personal space, tell him to vape/smoke outside

No. 504091

This hit me in the feels anon. We deserve comfy boyfriends.

No. 504092

this reeks of upper class snobbery lmao. are you really generalizing all people who aren't rich as not really too bright? or trashy or unprogressive? consider the following: stop dating rich dudes if you think they're unemotional and cold. but i assume you wont since you think all poor people are stupid and trashy.

No. 504094

I have the opposite experience, line cooks would sexually harass me and working class men in general were some of the most sexist and abusive men I've ever met. Rich men treat me nice, but they are kind of cold I guess, I'm a socialist politically so I feel bad admitting this.

No. 504096

I'm poor and grew up very poor. I don't date rich guys. I said the guys I've dated have been "economically stable" and for whatever reason they end up being more emotionally detached. "Trashy" isn't an economic term to me. It's more of a cultural thing now, imo. I know a lot of "rich white trash" as well. The guy I worked with came from a similar background, financially, but not culturally.

No. 504099

I don't really know what to say about where to go from here for you, but your husband is very a huge asshole. I know a lot of anons on lolcow loves to call all men assholes willy nilly, but your husband is actually being disgusting to you. He doesn't want to have a threesome to benefit you, he wants to cheat on you. The threesome would be him fucking the other girl while you awkwardly try to be involved. His talking to the girl in California is cheating on you. he was CHEATING on you while you were chronically ill! In addition, four times a day is insane. No normal human sex drive requires sex four times a day. Your husband has a deeply deeply unhealthy attitude towards sex and towards you. I genuinely mean this, you deserve so much better than everything you've described.

No. 504100

I've found the same with men from wealthier backgrounds. I'm a poorfag and I looked for some men with at least the ability to rent their own apartment, but it didn't click. My current bf can be an asshole at times, he's super caring and emotional. Definitely not progressive, I used to be a complete ultra SJW when I met him and being with him sort of eased that part of me for the better. I pushed that aside because he was so nurturing and we sort of grew together in financial success. Sometimes I guess it's okay to find someone who you don't connect with intellectually, we all start somewhere.

No. 504101

This made my heart break. You don't deserve this. You need to have a conversation with him about his animalistic sexual needs are ruining your relationship. If he cares about you he will realize sex isn't everything. I know you have a lot of time together so it makes it difficult to ponder the idea of splitting but he truly seems like a pornsick asshole.

No. 504104

What a piece of shit. Your partner is not entitled to your body. You're fucking sick and the first thing he does is try to fuck around with other girls? Where is his empathy for your situation jfc

I know parting relationships is difficult. And with your illness and move and everything… I hope you can make something work

At best please dont let him gaslight you into something you aren't comfortable with

No. 504106

I know you don't want to leave right now because you love him but if you ever do want to leave don't think that you can't because you depend on him financially. There's resources available to people who are in your situation so if you ever feel stuck make sure to research those. Just letting you know, because as other anons have said your husband is Bad. He's emotionally abusive.

No. 504108

>working class men in general were some of the most sexist and abusive men I've ever met

No. 504109

I remember talking to a relative about the KonMari method and feeling privately horrified at the fact that everything she realized didn't "spark joy" was stuff she'd bought within the last six months, and that she does it two or three times a year, always throwing out large amounts of items each time. I did it once to convince myself to let go of things I've been hoarding since childhood because I was still in the "what if I need this later and can't afford it?" mindset. I understand lots of people make impulse purchases, I do it myself, but there's nothing "minimal" about being that careless with your money, and especially not with buying even more stupid shit than normal because you know it'll all get "decluttered" anyway.

No. 504112

ntayrt, but I used to think the same thing when I was younger (used to get mistaken for 15 when I was 18 and I figured it was just because I still dressed the same) and it's not ALWAYS untrue but when I'm at work, in the exact same clothes as my coworkers who are the same age as me (22), I'll get mistaken for a fifteen year old. I'm pretty sure it's just because I have a lot of buccal fat (sp?) and large eyes. I'm not petite either by any means, I'm 5'5" and quite broad-shouldered. In my experience, people will judge your baby face before anything else and it doesn't always matter how you dress.

No. 504118

I can't say I agree with rich men being nicer, but I don't think my experiences are super common, and I don't think it's a huge trend or anything, but men who are more "comfortable" seem to be less sympathetic to me. I just think it's pathetic that a really young guy who had less opportunity and support than other men I know, has been more emotionally available than multiple 24, 25, and so on, yr olds, and they're all men who are sensitive, but apparently only about themselves. Just weird, maybe more prone to narcissistic streaks within their personal lives, but not ideologically, because they never had to struggle personally? Maybe it's just where I'm from and the drug/party lifestyle, but the rich men and guys from rich families I've had to be around have been so horrible, conniving, and physically abusive. I've known a number of them pretty intimately as a result of a few of my friendships with their family members and they've been so, so awful to women and the women in their lives.

Yes, exactly. I think the relating is just not there. They can't imagine it and don't know what it's like to be sick over your finances, worried about helping your family members, etc. There's no community mentality or something with them, to me. They don't feel a responsibility for their family members as much, I feel, too. I really dislike that.

No. 504129

My sleep schedule is soooo fucking fucked up its annoying the crap out of me. But I also haven’t been taking my vitamins or eating right lately and I know those are things I need to do to regulate my body and keep it normal (I have decently severe thyroid problems). But lately I feel sluggish and ill while I’m awake. Realized I hadn’t taken my birth control in a few days and my vitamins. Wondering how I can get on a better schedule. Sucks bc I work late nights a lot too. Then my days off I’m mostly sleeping because I’m up till 3am most nights. Someone fix me!!!!

Also unrelated but fuck men.

No. 504130

>t.triggered poorfag
Anon didn't say poor people are not bright, she said trashy guys are not bright. Besides it's just fact that most poor people face barrier to education and don't have time to read theories on feminism or economics or what have you, thus more likely uninformed. It's not poor people's fault, don't internalize so hard.

No. 504148

Wtf some dude my gf knew before we got together contacted saying he wanted her real bad. They met on a gay website where he called himself nonbinary 'they/them' (to get in lesbians pants?) Said he'd even become a Tim for her. I've known her for 5 years. He sounds like a real creep who wants in on lesbian women. Glad I got her before whatever train wreck that would've been.

No. 504175

It really isn't, trust me, especially since my mom and my brother look way younger too. Clothes can't make you that much younger.
I still look the same as when I was a young teen, it has nothing to do with clothing unfortunately, as I usually dress in darker, subtle clothes so I don't seem childish.

I have the body of a child too lol. If only my face was the issue- that would've been better. I would like to dress however I want and not wear makeup but that would make me look even younger.
I really envy those girls who wear age appropriate clothes and don't look like they've stolen them from their moms closet

No. 504186

i cant deal with exposing myself to the rbn sub anymore. everytime i find myself scrolling through because curiosity killed the cat, i feel myself slip into a slow defeated rage. sometimes its better to let yourself continue to block out the old stuff and pretend it never happened at all.

No. 504194

went to bed early last night, yet still woke up at 3am and couldn't fall back asleep. I went to bed with wet hair for the first time in a while and forgot my hair doesn't completely dry, so that might've been the reason I stayed awake. I can take a nap later but I'm just annoyed.

No. 504196

I feel like such a bitch admitting this but seeing so many styles I participated in, enjoyed, or supported all the sudden becoming totally cool and hip really frustrates me in some ways.

Not because "Its not cool now that you do it", but because I've watched girls who used to physically harm me in school suddenly adopt the styles and media I love and acting like they "always loved and wanted to dress like dis :3", im not gonna say it's only for attentio, because fuck I dont know if it is, but ya know… a apology for my mental and physical pain would be cool instead of just acting like it never happened.

No. 504202

KEK, I just tried going on this site using Walmart's WiFi and it's blocked. I wonder how many Walmart anons actually use this site.

No. 504203

Over four years ago I used to sit in the walmart breakroom and browse here, this made me laugh so hard

No. 504204

This site is being occupied by TiMs and the admin keeps sucking their disgusting dicks and axe wounds. It's frustrating that women can't have any corners online at all to talk openly about the trans agenda.
Can men just die already?(>>>/peepee/)

No. 504211

File: 1579102482744.jpg (58.67 KB, 747x731, 1578520506568.jpg)

I miss my brother so much

No. 504216

I wouldn't give a damn if the last options weren't reddit lgbdropthet and gendercritical. Reddit will always have the possibility of shutting them down for 'hate'. Also just the annoyance of having to act well mannered when the subject matter is anything but. I'm so sick of the internet slowly losing its spine from sites with up/down votes.

No. 504217

if it's so bad here go somewhere else. make your own "corner of the internet". i don't care about tranny rights at all tbh, but seeing people like you get btfo'd is great.

No. 504221

I feel you. This is literally the only place where you don't have to give shit about being pc (especially as a woman). Tumblr is still infested with genderflakes and you constantly get attacked for stating the most basic facts, and as you said, reddit is male-dominated and those subs get constantly hated and attacked.

No. 504222

Get out of here with your tinfoil hat and talk to a therapist if it bothers you so much. We don't care about trans feelings but the sperging is so annoying.

No. 504224


You're saying you don't care about tranny rights yet it's still good that person is being btfod? Yeah fucking right.

Y'all don't go this hard for racism lmao(take this to /2X/)

No. 504226

why does it have to be one or the other? why can't i just hate ugly men in dresses without being extreme about it? i'm not affected by any of the political stuff because i'm fairly wealthy and i'm not from a place that caters to it. i also posted on the ugly tranny threads when everything wasn't condensed into one. i miss when those threads were more like the fakeboi thread (which i still post in) and less """woke""". but you guys are acting like when munchie threads got banned, or when anachans got banned. the only difference is you think that because your opinions are super political, they are somehow more meaningful. you guys wouldn't have been banned if you didn't fucking post in every thread.

No. 504234

Aww anon, I'm so sorry. I don't know the context but I hope you can get through it. Hugs

No. 504269

I don't give a shit if you're wealthy and not from that place, girl. So other people's opinions and views don't matter if they're getting affected by it because you're not in their world? Okay, so why is it bothering you if they're too political or whatever the fuck since you can't get it and don't care about it? I don't give a shit about most of the shit people say but you won't see me trying to shut the down because I think my worldview is the only one that matters(2X)

No. 504291

Hey admin, aren't you deleting 2X? Isn't GC/PP going to be outlawed just like you guys outlaw nationality and ethnicity talk?

Can women not have their own space to discuss these things? Do you guys HAVE to have your heads stuffed up bloody tranny neo-penis holes?

No. 504294

get. another. space.

you guys are acting like fucking sjws. quit trying to shame admin for getting rid of you.

No. 504296

>get another space

This was our only space.(take this to /2X/)

No. 504303

if you can't tell the difference between a sjw, aka libfems, and a radfem, maybe you should humble yourself and stfu. anyways, i was going to stop using this website bc it got too boring for me but bc of the sperging i think i'm going to stay for a while.

No. 504317

You're not wealthy if you work for someone and earn a salary. You're working class and you're no better than the rest of the poors.

No. 504319

>i'm not affected by any of the political stuff because i'm fairly wealthy and i'm not from a place that caters to it.
Are you really this dense?

No. 504330

i don't lol.

No. 504333

Honestly I'm starting to suspect that the most a-loggin spergs posting stuff like this are actually false flagging trannies because the actual GC thread has always been very collected and behaved.

No. 504334

please stop larping, most people here are either dependent on their parents who are working class or working class themselves.

No. 504336

me too.

inb4 >stop tinfoiling

No. 504354

What kind of vitamins do you take? I also have thyroid problems.

No. 504372

I agree lol no one's really complaining in the 2X threads as harsh as anons out of 2X

No. 504382

you two realize there's a big difference between working for a 40k salary and a 200k salary (or higher/lower for both), right…

No. 504383

This. Some sweeping generalizations.

No. 504389

File: 1579137282694.jpg (80.06 KB, 749x694, pJzIIsQ.jpg)

he died a yaer ago anon, I loved him so much

No. 504392

File: 1579138079853.jpg (151.4 KB, 1280x721, tumblr_ml9kbkY1fl1qhcn8uo1_128…)

I kind of had a meltdown because my optometrist ordered my contacts incorrectly and accidentally gave myself a black eye. This is very, very embarrassing.

No. 504396

a 200k salary is still a salary dumbass, that was my point.

No. 504397

I spent five days with my bf on vacation and I was forced to realize how many of his quirks annoy me. He has this habit of asking me how I'm feeling every few hours or basically babying me by asking if I've done XYZ/if I need help with something, etc. It passes by being helpful to just making me feel like I can't do shit by myself. I never noticed it before but, after a week, it was driving me nuts.

I know this is random but he'll pick his nose which grosses me out and act like it's nothing. I normally try to ignore shit like that but it was so aggravating the past few days. Sometimes, it's like he's five. He was also being so clingy the entire time and having nowhere to go only made it worse.

I never realized how much I appreciate being able to go to work or hang out with my friends until this week. I love him but if I had to be around him that much, I don't know if I could deal with it. I feel bad for even thinking that because he's great in so many other areas but ugh

No. 504410

Came across the Instagram page of an old ex-friend who I fell out pretty badly with. It made me feel really sick going through her profile, curse my morbid curiosity. Just made me feel really bad. I know people post their ‘best life’s’ online and you shouldn’t compare because it’s really not reality, but man. Man it feels bad. It kinda spurs me on to be better out of sheer spite but I don’t think that should be a driving force in wanting to improve yourself. Can anyone relate? I really need to make a change.

No. 504411

Applying for internships is so stressful! I'm already an awkward idiot who doesn't feel good about myself why must I do this…

No. 504413

It makes me sick knowing how many women sell their bodies to afford college tuition and rent money. No one should have to choose between working multiple back breaking jobs or sucking old man dick just to be able to go to school. If I could I'd shoot every loan officer and banker I could right between the eyes.

No. 504421

I'm almost 25 and I have nothing I'm proud of in my life
I'm getting sued for rent in this shitty apartment because I didn't realize there was a procedure for witholding rent
my wages are getting garnished for student loans I took out for a college I never finished, and even though I'm in rehabilitation–I still have to call the loan office just to stop the garnishment
I'm constantly tired because my depression isn't under control
I eat when I'm unhappy and the only time I'm happy is when I eat
I'm in therapy, but it's not really working (neither are my meds)

Worst of all, I'm trying to get over someone I'm absolutely obsessed with; I'm talking to a few people who I should be more interested in, but I can't stop imagining life with someone who hasn't started a conversation with me in 3 years

I'm like 5 stops away from suicide and I know it would be so easy because it's really easy to get a gun in my state (I already have a gun)
I just wish I was born different, more able to handle the cards I've been dealt
I'm tired and I want to give up

No. 504425

I wish more people actually read articles before just reacting to the headline and sperging out unrelated shit. Is it even considered clickbait if no one actually clicks through them?

No. 504427

Those sound like small things that he could stop doing if he was mindful of them. You should def try to calmly talk with him about it and how it makes you feel.

No. 504428

Absolutely agree.

No. 504435

My cats are being so annoying tonight! IDK what's up with them I keep catching them messing with shit. I just found one of them trying to bite at my keychain a friend from out of the country sent to me and this was 2 minutes after finding the other cat trying to eat plastic from the recycling bin. They have food. I just cleaned their litter box and even got them a new one earlier today. I've been sporadically cleaning the house since yesterday morning and this morning. Why so frisky now?
My weekend just started so I'm pithed.

No. 504443

One of my courses is holding a practice exam today, with a chance of earning extra credit if you do well, and even though it's just a mock exam I'm so fucking scared and don't want to attend. I genuinely don't know the material well enough and still need way more time on my own to study before the real exam comes up. I know that the majority of the material I still don't know and I would have to leave so many things straight up blank and I'd feel humiliated turning that in. There's no penalty for not passing the mock exam, just possible bonus points to earn, but I really don't want to sit for the mock exam for an hour just staring at shit I can't do like a fucking idiot. I'm also afraid that there might be a penalty for being absent but that's probably not the case. Still paranoid though. And I have a friend in the same class who probably already thinks I'm retarded because of how clueless I am and I know that if she sees I'm not there she's gonna ask where I am and why I'm not there and that's gonna be awkward and embarrassing as fuck to be like, uhhh I just… didn't come. Kinda wanna lie and say I woke up sick and puking but I'm a bad liar and I also have literally already used that excuse to her when I skipped class a few weeks ago.

Ugh I wish I wasn't so fucking stupid and kept on track with my studies instead of slacking off, all of my problems are self made and caused by my own damn incompetence.

No. 504445

I take vitamin d and b every day to keep my energy levels normal on top of synthroid in the morning.

No. 504450

File: 1579156605987.jpg (48.02 KB, 936x942, D3b-mXKX4AAcwLI.jpg)

holy shit i want to enjoy what could be with the onision thread but unintegrated twitter and newfags just shit it up with their walls of opinion text and garbage thoughts on the justice system.

i guess these faggots never learned the beauty of letting the milk flow without interference. maybe id hope they would calm down after the outings earlier but god its a shitshow.. can you ladies just sit back without poking the good shit? its so much better. /snow/ has been unreadable for so long because of this. i just want a good thread without pure faggotry marring it

No. 504470

The sales started and a jacket I bought 2 weeks ago is on sale now. Then I saw a coat I bought as well (that was already discounted 20%) is now discounted 50%. I just hate it. I could have saved 70% altogether. But every time I plan to buy just during the sales, all of my wishlisted items are sold out. There's just some trash left that nobody wants. There's a god(ess) of shopping that just constantly plays with me I swear.

No. 504475

File: 1579170930677.gif (464.33 KB, 500x338, getphilosophicalwithme.gif)

I'm getting more and more convinced that life is just you trying to lift your spirits up and when you manage to do that,you get knocked down and then try again




there's nothing else in life.negative feels last more and are stronger than positive ones anyway and it's scientifically proven.why do we even try

No. 504481

Is this just a trait common for men? My boyfriend and my dad does this thing where they'll always get ready for work at the last minute. They complain how late they're gonna be for work all the time and don't get the concept of maybe, just maybe, getting ready 10 minutes earlier than usual can benefit their time and not feel so rushed.

No. 504488

I get the impression most men have poor time management skills since they're not socialized to be mindful of other peoples time and needs as much.

No. 504498

Thinking on it, yeah, every man I've ever known has been like this. They like to piddle around until the last second and then rush around like an idiot.

No. 504505

I don't think it's a man thing. My boyfriend gets up extremely early and goes to work an hour before he needs to. I, on the other hand, have to drag myself out of bed in the morning and will stare at the wall for 20 mintues. I'm late like everyday. He is never late and is always rushing me. I feel like a lot of men used to be really good about time management because it was important. But now we expect way less from everyone in general.

No. 504507

my brother had a full-on breakdown and pity party + tears because he made us both late to an important event for my dad's work. I was ready two hours in advance and told him three hours in advance when we needed to be ready by and he literally went back to bed and stayed in until 30 before. Also he's 15+ minutes late to work every single day.

>they're not socialized to be mindful of other peoples time and needs as much
like >>504505 said it's definitely not a male-only thing but socialization is definitely the reason men are late all the time when they do do it, and they're usually trained out of it by circumstance (my dad is always the first one ready for anything, and it's because he's been in the military for over a decade and now considers anything later than 5 minutes early to be late). Also I've noticed when women are late to things it's because they were stressing about their appearance too much or they've been spoiled and expect to be forgiven/excused, whereas men do it because they literally don't care how it affects other people and think them being too tired/"depressed" to show up on time overrides the needs of other people.

No. 504514

Evidently they're not reprimanded in a meaningful way so they're always gonna take advantage of the fact that they can be late. Literally no one is caring if they do it.

I feel like people have this "Well you should know better" attitude towards us women when we're late. Like we're expected to be more responsible and considerate. Not to mention people generally have no qualms about calling a woman out when she does something wrong, as opposed to calling out a man because people assume he's got a good reason.

No. 504517

I can relate anon. I've gotten a lot better about it after reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Mason. I've posted about it before on the vent threads and depending on how you view self help books (useless common sense or an insightful take on life), it might be a nice read for you.

There's a chapter where he does talk about comparing yourself to others and how it can be a waste of time if your values don't align. He talks about some musician who, out of spite of the band who kicked him out, went ham to be the best and is now considered one of the most influential people in the history of metal, but still feels like a failure because he still feels like he pales in comparison to the band who kicked him out. Yet to others, he's doing fuckin great. And something about one of the Beatles members who was kicked out but found joy in living a simpler life and settling down with family meanwhile the Beatles achieved fame but had hectic personal lives. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

This was just a really bad and vague summary because I haven't read it in a while, but it's really helped me with comparing myself to old friends. I still catch myself comparing myself every once in a while, but I just always tell myself that our end goals are different and there's no point in comparing myself to someone who's doing great things that I don't really care about (e.g. theyre in med school? wow thats great, but I don't want to go to med school or be a doctor, so who cares?) or even comparing myself to those worse off than I am (e.g. they're still doing questionable shit? well I might be more successful than them, but what's the point in having a smug attitude about it when basically anyone can be more successful than them?).

Recognizing that social media is fake and is just a warped reality is a good first step! You don't have to do it, but I found that getting rid/emptying out my socials really helped. I took away my means of satisfying my morbid curiosity that might make me feel bad, plus now no one can look at my shit and think "well im better than anon!" because there's nothing to look at anymore! It's a long and never ending process. I hope things will work out for you anon, I'm sure your life is great! Even if you don't think so, there's probably someone out there who looks at your life with envy!

No. 504520

Is there any way to get a price adjustment? I know most big retailers will do that if the price lowers within 2 weeks. Or return the one you bought and rebuy the one on sale?

No. 504522

My gf is loosing interest in me and I can do nothing about it. :(

No. 504523

Find things worth suffering for and what shit you're willing to put up with for the rest of your life rather than chasing measly feel good positive vibes that last a couple seconds at most. If we can't have perpetual happiness, at the very least we can try to find things that don't make us as miserable. Life is just a shitshow unfortunately.

No. 504531


>He talks about some musician who, out of spite of the band who kicked him out, went ham to be the best and is now considered one of the most influential people in the history of metal, but still feels like a failure because he still feels like he pales in comparison to the band who kicked him out. Yet to others, he's doing fuckin great.

nta but is this about dave mustaine?

No. 504534

File: 1579191175951.jpeg (39.17 KB, 406x258, FE9088D6-B97F-4CBE-9D44-D5D5DB…)

I listened to a customer at work rant about their 24yo daughter for not having a boyfriend. Said her daughter makes more than her, lives in a city (a good one btw) and is going to be all alone when her roommates get married and move on with their lives. I was like damn she seems pretty accomplished and all you care about is if some guy is banging her or not.

No. 504538

Yes it is! I forgot his name lol

No. 504539

Men really make me wanna die. I hope, if i ever have kids, i'll never ever have a son.
I'm from a middle eastern family and my mum has been treating my brothers like fucking kings. Now one of my (almost adult) brother has turned into a misogynistic monster who says the most degrading shit about women and treats my mother like dirt. Soon he'll physically assault her too since my mum doesn't say anything.
My dad is a huge cheating misogynist himself and sees how he shouts and swears at my mum but just laughs it off or protects him, despite me repeatedly asking him to do something about it.

No. 504541

File: 1579193130013.png (251.17 KB, 760x432, 1578923973177.png)

I have decided to commit suicide. I have noting to live but hopeless dreams of what i could achive if i didn't live in this third world shithole. I cannot even study the career i want, do the hobbies i like or buy anime stuff to at least work for something. I tried going to the psychologist, was in med for 4 years and i feel worse than before. Worst thing is i have to hear about my mother's aunt who decided to go to the USA and how her son is now working on google, that could be me if my fucking mother didn't decide to stay here. I just can't deal with it anymore but i cannot even end it now because she is 24/7 at home.

No. 504543

Trust me if you were a middle eastern diaspora in the west not much would change considering a lot are on welfare and live in filth as much as you are now, unless your family are super educated and want to live westernized which is obviously not the case.

Ok it sounds discouraging, but it's not. I'm basicallly saying that you should gtfo your shithole and live alone. If that's not possible, work hard until you can. Life sucks for wveryone in the beginning, but work hard and you'll be rewarded trust. Don't commit suicide, your family's not worth it. (you're the anon above as well right!)

No. 504548

I live in the city with the highest unemployment rate in Canada. Most jobs that are hiring will only go for part time. The store I've been working at for two months is at risk of closing shop (I only got the job so I could find something in my field of work in the meantime). life just sucks and everywhere I turn i see articles of others suffering. I've told my controlling mother that I want to leave numerous times but she's not supportive of my decision. She doesn't want me to move to our home province because we'll be too "far apart"(it's BC).It sucks because she has been telling me for 5 years that it will turn around but I don't see that happening.

No. 504550

Just found out someone I helped organize a benefit event for is faking their terminal illness.

This is fine and chill and super okay and I am totally okay and not going to go apeshit.

No. 504551

>>504541 is not me but i can relate to that anon too lol.

No. 504552

Organise it then out them in front of all the attendees.
It's the only thing that makes sense.

People like that disgust me. Opportunistic sleazebags, nothing is sacred for them.

No. 504553

File: 1579196670094.gif (1006.54 KB, 500x250, 58DDA5E8-A7AB-4C95-A591-358D62…)

I hate that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I wish I could become a 'one size fits all' , but such a thing doesn't exist.

My boyfriend has unpopular taste in women, and likes girls that look like the goth girl from the breakfast club (pic related)
He insists that he finds me attractive, but I know I'm not totally his type. I don't know! I want to be pretty to most people, but I also want to be his type and I'm conflicted. I know this is a very stupid, first world problem but gosh I've felt so insecure ever since getting into this relationship although I love him very much and he never does anything to pressure me. I'm putting the pressure on myself. Does this even make sense?

I want to be conventionally pretty, but his type isn't conventionally pretty. I feel so ugly lately, but I don't know if that's just me being stupid or if I genuinely am ugly. I feel so shallow.

No. 504556

>don't want to hold problems in
>don't want to talk about my problems with people who can't empathise
>but also desperately want to 'let it all out' to someone


No. 504557

Depending on how big the event is and how much money was collected, I might recommend getting legal advice and lawyer up. Outing her in front of everyone sounds like delicious hollywood comeuppance but you need to cover your ass and have proof. Document everything.

No. 504558

When you’re in love, your number one type becomes the person you’re in love with. I understand the nerves but if you two are meant to be then there’s ultimately nothing to worry about because you will become his favorite by far, nothing in the world will come close to you, because love just does that.

No. 504559

What the fuck? Just get a psychologist instead?

No. 504561

Oh damn, sorry then. Well same goes for you I guess. Good luck to you both.

No. 504562

You could be someone's exact type. There is a person for you out there in the world. You're young, not some old maid on her last chance at love. Just because you acknowledge you're not the most compatible looksmatch doesn't make you ugly nor he the villain.

I don't know enough to say dump, but I think you could have a better time with someone else.
Also I don't know how you found out about his "type" but it would be a red flag to me if he randomly rattled off his standards when I obviously don't meet them. Would make me think I'm just his option and not someone he was taking seriously.

No. 504578

Thank you ♥

No. 504579

>Unpopular taste in women
>his type isn't conventionally pretty
Seriously? She's conventionally attractive and plenty of men are into women like that.

No. 504580

>but I think you could have a better time with someone else.
Seriously? What did he do wrong?

No. 504582

Do you enjoy staying with men who show you a type of woman they're interested in, and it's not you?
He's not a bad guy for having preferences, I just don't see why anon has to settle while she could be with a guy who thinks she's his type already.

No. 504585

you shouldn't care about it if your boyfriend doesn't care either, men usually say one thing and go for something completely different. Don't give it much thought and maybe consider therapy if this is proving to be a bit too much for you.

No. 504593

My mom never taught me female stuff so I feel like idk how to act like a woman. When all of my girl friends were wearing bras at 12 my mom never bought me one until they started picking on me and they could see through my t-shirt on pe class. She never had my ears pierced as a baby, never said anything about periods, never gave me medication to relieve my cramps, never cared about my sexual life or taking me to a gynecologist. Nothing. She only took me to a make-up course once and I felt out of place with girls at age 6 knowing how to apply it better than me. Also I have an older brother so making friends with men is a piece of cake, but I don't know how to deal with them actually. Everything romantic or sexual is awkward. I'm having bad cramps rn and just hate periods on general

No. 504595

yesterday my roommate ((who isn't supposed to be living here) and his gf (also what are you doing here) both like 60, criminal crackheads ~uwu my time in prison)) threatened to knock my teeth in, got in my face, MY GANG AFFILIATES etc. all because I bought their clothes in from the rain. literally bought their shit in when they usually take mine off the line to make room and leave it out here.
my weak as piss other roommate, the one on the lease and the reason they're here (he's 21 and acts like 60 year old goblin crackhead is his daddy) has taken their side. i moved here to get away from these sorts of fucking people
i feel dirty in my own house knowing their here. I say "my own house" as in my home, where I sleep and pay rent. so fucking skin crawling. I did nothing wrong, actually was being nice and considerate, and holy fuck did shit kick off. we were supposed to move to a new place in under a week but they can all get fucked.
also woke up this morning and found they'd packed some of my utensils etc. in their packing boxes. no cunt, that shit doesn't fly you gronky little hypocrites.
I haven't felt this righteously angry but also exasperated in years. something so minor and arbitrary and these drugfucked idiots act like its WW3

anyway I feel sick I've got to find somewhere else to live in this city by next week, wish me luck anons.
this is what being considerate gets me.
never trust a junkie, better yet, avoid at all costs.

No. 504596

File: 1579209808346.png (379.18 KB, 640x958, x1 (2).png)

My bf isn't my type at all, but I love him a lot and I'm really attracted to him.
>>504558 is right. When you truly love someone, all your preconceived notions and preferences don't matter anymore lol.

No. 504599

First world rant incoming.
My boyfriend always says that we should go out for dinner more, or that I shouldn't worry about how much dinner costs because he's happy to buy it, but the one fucking time I actually just ask him for Chinese food he just says he doesn't want it and that it's too expensive so we should eat what's in the house.
I'm broke but I still offered to pay for it myself because it's what I want, but he still said no. This is something so small but I feel so powerless.

No. 504600

>adults over 25 throwing tantrums over video games
I've got grown people on my social media bitching about Smash. Is there anything more fucking embarrassing? Grow the fuck up people it's literally not real life.

No. 504601

No offense but dissing your mom because she didn't pierce holes in your body as a baby is a weird thing to mention lol. What even is "acting female", I'd have hated growing up if a female figure was constantly forcing ways I have to act to be a proper woman on me.

No. 504602

Start writing down the times you ask and he refuses. That way next time he wants to feel like a good boyfriend by telling you that he'll give you what you want, whip out that notebook and show all the times when he didn't.
I can't stand guys like this. Godspeed.

No. 504603

anon this picture almost made me cry oh my god I just wanna call off work and spend the day with my cat now.

No. 504604

You'll love this manga anon. Made me cry like a bitch lol.

No. 504605

But wouldn't you love him more if he was your type? At least be more attracted to him? That's my worry.

No. 504606

Just went to an interview and even though I looked at questions and thought about responses beforehand, I was a nervous mess and rambled so much. The content of my responses wasn't bad, but my delivery was awful. I want to tell myself it's a 50/50 chance I'll move onto the next round and it's not a big deal but I feel dumb.

No. 504607

i'm only on day 2 of meds but i'm so irrationally angry. i was told that nausea is a normal symptom but what the fuck i just wanna punch walls!!!!!!

No. 504608

I asked my bestfriend if she wanted to go to the cinema to watch a movie. Haven't been with anyone but my boyfriend in a while so thought it'd be fun. The premiere was a bit too close to my post-surgery chill days so I asked if a few days after would be alright and she agreed.
I see now that she's put herself as "interested" on a facebook event for the same movie literally the day after my surgery though so like.. does she even remember or is she considering just going to watch it without me lol oh well. Guess I'll find out.

No. 504610

Sounds dumb but ginger really helped me with nausea caused by meds

No. 504611

Maybe she's going to watch it with someone and then with you again just to keep you company?

No. 504616

Fuck anon I know what that's like. My lease is up in spring and I CANT WAIT to leave. I wish you luck on finding an apartment far away from junkies. Godspeed.

No. 504620

Can confirm, my boss when I worked at a daycare would make me ginger and orange rind tea when I would get nausea during my period. Worked wonders. I usually put extra powdered ginger in my Japanese dishes, which probably doesn't have that big of an effect, but it sure makes it feel like it helps.

No. 504626

I hate being so fucking sheltered and empathetic. It's like my heart is too fucking big to live in modern society because I like to treat people with decency and I trust what people say and take them from face value until they ruin it. I'm not trying to humblebrag but I seriously hate that I think of others before myself. I hate that I say sorry all the time and I know I'm not really sorry but I do it anyway. I probably need a therapist…

No. 504628

File: 1579217721350.jpeg (75.54 KB, 475x356, 7B9AB89C-61C3-4660-8035-27997F…)


This sounds like I wrote this holy shit. But yeah it sucks. I always feel so naive and childish when someone disappoints me or snakes me or lies to my face because it’s like. I would never do that (asides from harmless white lies I suppose) and the fact that you can do it with a straight face. It hurts to expect the same respect out of others that you give them. Sometimes I almost sound like pic related when someone does something shitty irl. I can’t imagine how they’d even be capable of that. Sometimes I feel like I’m the sucker because I’m an honest person and share things genuinely if asked.

No. 504640

My hair is long now(to my shoulders) and it is curly, but I don't know how to comb it at all! I usually keep my hair short because I don't know how to comb it or make it look nice, but the only one who can cut my hair is my gf's mom. She used to be a hairdresser in the 80s, and when she cuts my hair it looks a little funny until it grows out a lot, but she is the only one that can do it because I do not like to be touched by strangers and I am a literal sperg.

No. 504642

Same as you two. It's tiring having to go about life assuming everything is a lie or a scam. And the fact I'm not like that makes me feel very vulnerable.

My rationale says that there's plenty of people like us, so I've decided to be more visible online and true to myself to kinda be a presence for people like this. idk it feels weird to know being kind and honest is rare.

No. 504646

Possible ofc but I doubt she'll see it twice that close. I suggested watching it because she specifically had interest in the movie when I last saw her. If she's already seen it before half the fun is kinda gone due to the nature of the movie imo. We could always do something else.

No. 504654

File: 1579229203022.jpg (14.02 KB, 320x240, joker_disappointed.jpg)

I remember there was a term for a women to go through a lesbian/bisexual phase in college before turning full hetero, if there is one, because it explains what I feel happened to this one artist I looked up to for years.

She did a lot of lovely art the mostly focused on lesbian couples (fictional and non) and she would mention her female crushes every so often. We also had some stuff in common, so she was one of my idols. I figured she was definitely a lesbian or at least a bisexual with a strong female lean. Sometimes she would mention her flings but hoped she would settle down with a girl one day.

Well somehow in the last year or 2, she got herself a boyfriend and she's in deep. Very deep. It doesn't help that her art output has really slowed the past 2-3 years. I feel like…I've been burned by this or at least I was liking some façade of her's instead.

Is it so wrong that I want more cool lesbian artists to look up to?

(I didn't know if this could also go into the dumbass shit thread since I feel stupid and dumb for feeling this way, but it was more ranty.)

No. 504658

INFP detected

No. 504659

Dating a guy doesn't necessarily mean she has gone full hetero, this post is a little silly.

No. 504662

I don’t know what to do my landlord raised rent and the initial refund I was expecting to receive from my school turned form 2000 grant to only 500ish buck which isn’t even enough for my rent and I don’t know what to do. I’ve email my financial aide advisor but it was forwarded to I guess the lead advisor who doesn’t know my situation and basically said I was never going to get the money back. It would be okay if I could get at least enough for first months rent but between rent and bills I won’t be able to make it

No. 504663

File: 1579230701843.jpg (259.26 KB, 960x1440, p13625_v_v8_ab.jpg)

Sick in bed and currently binging movies, so my rant is a dumb spergy movie rant.

George gets fucked over so much in Father of the Bride! He has to pay not only for the wedding, BUT ALSO 9 TICKETS FLYING OVER FROM EUROPE for the grooms family(which should have been 9 but fatty aunt took up 2 seats). The guy foots the bill and gets shut down and called insensitive when he wants to cut corners. And to top it off, he gets shuffled around his own damn house at the reception, forced to park cars while he misses the father daughter dance, and even has to wait in a long ass line for dinner, in his own backyard, when he was the one paying for it! And then his daughter proceeds to spend the whole wedding without acknowledging her father until she's about to board for her honeymoon.

Apparently everything has to be kept traditional for a man she's apparently only known for 6 months tops.

No. 504676

>inb4 myer-briggs is bullshit!!!

No. 504678

thank you anon, legit actually made me feel better. same to you, may we both be blessed by cleanliness and contentment away from the bullshit.
assuming you're a US anon, spring is like march yeah?? at least it's soon, hang in there my bro you got this, hope your new place is amazing
i'm hanging out on the room inspo thread dreaming of houseplants and decor and yeeeee its soothing during the shitstorm, anons on here have pretty sick taste thank you guys

No. 504687

jesus christ WHY is every man i know trooning out?! smart, sorta interesting men trooning out and suddenly lose ALL of the personality they once had. once youve met one fucking tranny, youve met them all. im tired of losing my friends and seeing them become caricatures of women.
1. youre not a woman, 2. even if you were… WOMEN CAN HAVE PERSONALITIES AND INTERESTS TOO beyond looking like the prettiest princess jfc

No. 504690

File: 1579242826488.jpeg (35.12 KB, 1125x1103, 74A5DA44-28D2-4DFA-8B0A-6E6249…)

so tired but can’t sleep
bring me death

No. 504702

I hate reading academic papers. It could be the most interesting topic and I’d still find it gruelling to get through. I’m trying hard in class but I feel so mediocre compared to my peers…

No. 504703

Get a Deva cut to help make the curls prettier. Shea moisture smoothie is my holy grail product. Comb with wide tooth/wet brush, slap a hair mask on once per week.

No. 504707

My next door neighbour is a single mother who has a young daughter, I think around 4-5? And she's absolutely horrible to her daughter. The walls of our houses are quite thin, and I hear her screaming at her daughter a lot. She's always bringing her down and literally screaming, saying things like 'you're a retard' 'you're such a stupid girl' to a literal child!!
Right now, I actually just got woken up by her screaming at gosh knows what (it's 7:40am) and she sounds demonic. I've called childline on her once, but they told me there's not much they can do since it's only verbal abuse and not physical, which I understand, but it still breaks my heart.

I wish that I could look after the girl and get her away from her mother. The mother really does sound horrible, and it breaks my heart knowing that her child is probably having a horrible childhood and will likely grow up not so great herself and that there's nothing I can do about it. I miss my old neighbours.

No. 504708

File: 1579246882275.jpg (27.36 KB, 670x503, a10.jpg)

Happened to see "You" on netflix, anon?

No. 504710

Not yet

No. 504714

I think you might enjoy s1

No. 504723

what med? is it adderall? adderall makes me so angry every time. it sucks because it is overall helpful. i rarely hear people talking about it, either, but it never fails to make me want to punch walls.

honestly, i'd put a call in to CPS. it might scare the shit out of her enough to stop. it's unlikely they'd take her away. that treatment is absolutely unacceptable and can seriously destroy a child, even if it's not physical.

No. 504724

Does anyone else live in the house with them?
Can you find her on Facebook? Do you know her name?
Can you casually introduce yourself?
Is the dad at home? Grandparents?
Can you make a recording of her in order to publicly shame her?
Also I’m sorry, I went through similar shit hearing my neighbour verbally abuse his son, telling him he’s naughty for crying and threatening to hurt him. The thing is, nobody around us thought it was really bad at all, so I caused a big fuss and made conflict for myself for no reason.
My dad used to say things like that to me as a kid, calling me useless and stupid, first time he called me a cunt I was bout 11. Now I’m a pathetic NEET with drug problems.

No. 504732

>honestly, i'd put a call in to CPS
I did, and they told me the same thing. Ahh.

>Does anyone else live in the house with them?
I know that she has a teenage son, around 13-14. He seems ok, just your average teen boy who thinks he's cooler than he is. Sometimes a man comes over that I assume is their dad(?) but other than that I really have no idea. He's rarely there.
>Can you find her on Facebook? Do you know her name?
Ugh, I wish. I know her first name, but not her second. I could ask my dad but I don't think he'd know.
>Can you casually introduce yourself?
Not really. I only leave the house to go to college.
>Can you make a recording of her in order to publicly shame her?
I could, but I don't have social media and even so, I think people would just brush it off and act like it's no big deal - similar to your situation. My brother also said our neighbour sounds nasty, but I don't think he'd think it's a big of enough deal to do much. Because it's just verbal abuse, and no one cares until it gets physical. Maybe it is physical. I have no idea. My mum spoke to me the same way, and although I've never had addiction problems, I definitely have trauma from it. I'm sorry to hear that, anon. After college I'm considering going NEET for a while myself. I hope that things get better for you soon.

No. 504733

File: 1579252534034.jpeg (1.15 MB, 828x1509, EB092881-78B7-4C8D-9A94-6E6FC7…)

I feel pretty today, but I feel like I can never get good photos of myself. I don't know how people get pictures of themselves like pic related. Probably a lot of editing and effort put into lighting and posing?
I just wish I could have good photos of myself. Feels like I look the same in every one.

No. 504736

I actually fucking hate people who pick a profession they know won't be profitable and won't get them employed, then bitch about not earning enough money and having trouble finding work. You knew what was coming you idiot, you insisted on that bullshit degree or youtube channel you knew wouldn't support you. You have zero rights to be bitter at people who slaved away for years to be able to provide for themselves. I had dreams too, but you can't live on dreams so I studied to get an actual job that pays moderately well so I can continue to fund my hobbies that give me life. This uwu I simply can't degrade myself to something I don't love! attitude is sickening, I bet almost every person has something they don't love about their job and would much rather be living out their fantasies as an artist or whatever but they have that one single crumb of self awareness to plan out their life for the best.

No. 504738

Selfie lights + around 300 photos out of which they will pick one for heavyhanded editing. Trust me on this.

a sort of related vent: I hate poses where people stick their tongue out like that. It looks gross as hell.

No. 504739

so many meeting for the first time / at the airport videos are extremely exaggerated because they know someone's filming them. i hate seeing those kinds of videos. someone's always gotta jump on the other person to hug them and drop their luggage and cry. it's not realistic at all.

No. 504740

I'm in my early 30's and most of my friends from ages 18-28 who were hardcore lesbian/bi people dating girls are now engaged to men, yet still making "b-but remember, I'm not straight!" remarks. However I believe that the heteronormative society makes way easier to be in a straight relationship than a gay one, in college it's still sort of free from boundaries but after you cross 30 there's a certain amount of pressure to return to the closet and settle down without standing out. So who knows. I still agree about wanting more cool lesbian artists.

No. 504744

Why do you need them? Are you creating a dating site profile?

No. 504746

>don't want to talk about my problems with people who can't empathise

You don't know any person that can empathise? You sure about that?

No. 504747

Interesting to read this on this site :^)

No. 504749

my appearance has destroyed my life and is going to be the reason i end it eventually as well. unfortunately it's not bdd/just in my head either, before i kind of shut myself off from everything i was mocked for being ugly by most people i knew. it's humiliating existing looking the way that i do and i don't even want to be super hot, all i want is to look like an actual human but i'm so far off from that… and it's literally the bare minimum. i don't know what to do

No. 504750


I kind of relate to this, I deal with BDD and was also bullied relentlessly for my appearance (Mostly when I was younger ).
I still feel grotesquely ugly and isolate myself because of my insecurities.

Can you specify what your insecurities are centered around, is it weight/body related or your overall appearance?

No. 504751

No, I'd just like to have them for shallow reasons lol.

No. 504752

How about you read a book or develop a skill and actually become useful to society.

Look at all of the great leaders and geniuses of the past, they weren't exactly winning beauty pageants.
Stop whining about your appearance when you have the ability to control your life through dedication and discipline. Your sole function in life isn't to get married off and have children anymore.

No. 504755

That's a really useful idea anon, if it happens again I'll do that. Thank you, I didn't expect anyone to reply to something so small
I actually felt so embarrassed after posting such a pathetic rant last night that I put my foot down and ordered what I wanted myself. Who knew Chinese food could be a whole ass exercise in autonomy.

No. 504758

I feel so lonely and cry almost every day I get sad so often and I start to panic. I feel like I cant talk to anyone anymore because everyone is so sick of my bullshit they get mad when I have another "episode"
I think I should just shut up and keep all this for myself.
I've had this for my whole life, I just want to be happy,I have no reason to be sad, I make myself sad

No. 504766

> I know most big retailers will do that if the price lowers within 2 weeks.

That's really cool, I didn't know about that. I'd feel petty about doing it, I don't know why. I'll just let it slide this time. Thanks though!

No. 504768

>I think I should just shut up and keep all this for myself.

That is easier said than done. I have tried that a lot of times and never succeeded.

No. 504769

I'm autism shower anon who wrote in the dumbass things thread
Am I in the wrong for this?
>I stay up super late cleaning the bathroom/bath tub because paranoid about it
>Say fuck it, I'll shower in the morning before going to work
>Put alarm extremely early so I can shower
>Boyfriend who normally showers at night decides to not only shower in the morning but to also wash his hair
>That takes a total of like 50 minutes
>He /barely/ cleans it, just rinsing it out and using the cleaning rod without products
>Freak at him that I stayed up all night and he knows how I feel about showers
>He says I don't understand why you're mad
>Leave to go to work without shower and without proper goodbye because my bus was coming
>Text him clarifying what went wrong
>Even refrain from mentioning what HE did wrong
>Tell him to have a good day and shift at work
>He responds with "I'm not ready to respond yet, thank you"

Autistic about cleanliness of showers and BF fucked it up, am I just too insane about this?

No. 504771

The older you get the less people even look at you or care about your appearance. You feel like people are judging you based on your history of (what sounds like) bullying but reality is everyone is worrying about their own shit and there are lots of 'ugly' people going about their days too

No. 504772

I have autism and come from a family with a history of it. Living together/sleeping over just isn't something I can do. Other autistic family members are the same. It took me years (and two stressful relationships to realise that)

You're not insane. It's a frustrating situation cos you can't switch off autism and you require a very patient partner to work around these things without resentment

No. 504774

I think my girlfriend got a new set of social media accounts to avoid me sometimes. (She did the same with her exes, talking to me on accounts her exes didn't know to avoid them).

I'm so terrified of being alone… why am I doing this to myself…

No. 504775

I’m so freaking tired of all this negativity around me. My friends, my boyfriend, even people whom I’m not that close to start with. I get it, life is hard and it sucks but I’m exhausted just waking up and knowing someone will start moaning about this that aren’t that important after all (and I really mean it, they even said so of course after complaining for weeks).
I’m feeling extremely suicidal these days and I swear I can’t even be bothered with that right now because people just drain me out so much, I just want to go to sleep as soon as I open my eyes.
I used to care so much about what other people think about me, always feeling anxious, dizzy…Now all I feel is this apathy because it’s the same old story, day after day.
I’m tired of giving advice to people and them not only not following it but complaining nonstop. I’m tired of trying to make things right for people who are drowning on this never ending sadness, desperation.

No. 504776


I can even proof that she pretends to sleep to avoid me almost every day. And still I can't break up or even talk about it out of fear of abandonment. FUCK my dumb mental issues that pull me from toxic relationship to toxic relationship.

No. 504778

I hate social media so much. It just seems like most users are incredibly narcissistic, fake and attention seeking - especially on Instagram. It's just weird to me to have 200 photos of yourself posted and I hate that most people use it today.

No. 504780

This doesn't sound like a very fulfilling relationship. I can relate tho, I've stayed in miserable relationships because of abandonment issues too. For once I'd like to actually be the one to walk away

Good luck anon

No. 504782

I try to be a grateful and positive person most of the time, despite my mental struggles but something always manages to crush me and put me back to square one and if i were religious i would seriously take this as a sign to off myself.

No. 504783

>For once I'd like to actually be the one to walk away

I feel you very much.

No. 504784

I really regret dying my hair black.
My natural hair colour suited me much more, and also made me look less 'intimidating.'
It's turned my hair a lot thicker and I can't achieve the bangs that I want to becauseeee of the thickness. I could always thin them I guess but I'm too scared to mess things up now. I look like a lil dummy emo ahhHghH. I wouldn't mind if I could just NEET out but I gotta go work.
Guess I'll just DIE because I'm not PRETTY and that's not a first world shallow problem at ALL!

No. 504786

Are you able to use a "color whoops" type product to remove the dye? It was able to strip a near-black dye from my mom's silver/grey hair, although I know that's not an identical situation. It smelled like eggfarts but worked quickly and easily, and the application wasn't too runny

No. 504787

I don't want to damage my hair more and I'm afraid that it'll turn ginger lol

No. 504811

I was feeling really worthless and suicidal in realizing how much of a wastoid I am and how little I've accomplished even though medicine seemed to be where I would end up, so I signed up to become a stem cell and bone marrow donor. Maybe someone can live a little longer with the materials I just waste by being a sad stay at home wife. It makes me feel better but I want to at least live long enough to donate more than a handful of times. Assuming I die the way that I'd like, my organs will be usable and the rest of my body will be donated to science so I won't even require a cremation. It's calming to know I'll be cleaned up and usable after death as I'm currently not of any use. I applied to a bunch of scientific studies but I'm still waiting to hear back.

Best case scenario I eventually stop feeling so fucking empty and still ended up being able to give something to someone. I wish I could do more. I wish I felt any motivation to continue with school but I haven't left my house in almost a year and a half

No. 504812

Does your husband(or maybe wife) know all this is going through your mind? Cos they should, and they should care about helping

No. 504813

Couldn't you just get a few hobbies?
Tbh I don't really like reading people like you bitch because you're living the life having someone else pay your way, and I only wish I had a slice of some of that free time. So exploit it and stop feeling sorry, you've got a situation that's pretty ideal that most women don't have access to.

I doubt if you lack the motivation to leave your house for basic things, that you'd have what it takes right now to go through the process of being a marrow donor. Just donate some blood instead.

No. 504814

If you want to be useful and kind to someone, be a volunteer, join the citizens climate lobby, get into politics and fight for a sustainable economy… Plenty of ways to help.

No. 504815

I hate sports culture and athlete worship.

No. 504817

I did talk to him and he was really receptive! I'm still not used to dating someone that doesn't make me out to be a bad person for bringing up relationship issues. Past bfs used to really make me feel like I couldn't talk to them about anything, even minor problems. I never realized how bad my old relationships were until now and I'm really glad I didn't settle by staying with my ex.

No. 504819

I got sick on the first day of my period and I feel like I'm dying. I'm on vacation and I wanted this to be a fresh start after a shitty semester and I'm back to being a depressed fuck in bed all day. I don't have the energy to do a damn thing. I have nobody in my life to help me through this because of the mental health stigma BS and I'm running out of reasons to keep going.

No. 504820

How ridiculous to wallow in self-pity over not going to school while only not doing so because you would rather be on permanent vacation. As if almost anyone else has the luxury of choosing to act like this. Other people just shut up and work regardless of whether they have "motivation." People don't succeed because of motivation. They have duty and responsibility. If you refuse to do anything until you have miraculous energy and self-esteem then you will be waiting your entire boring life.

No. 504822

> How ridiculous to wallow in self-pity
> Other people just shut up and work

They're talking about being suicidal?? Most of the post is them rambling about death and their own dead body being cut up

No. 504823

My boyfriend gets so upset when I'm sleeping. Our sleep schedules are different right now because he just switched jobs. He keeps asking me why I haven't done anything and I just tell him it's because I'm sleeping. He called me today asking if I could wash his clothes for him and if I saw his text asking so and I just said "I didn't see your text, I'm sleeping right now." And he hung up on me, then called me back asking "What time did you go sleep?" And I said "When you left for work." "It's noon now, I think you got enough sleep" and I just started crying because I'm so frustrated it feels like he's expecting me to be up basically all the time and only go to sleep when he's asleep. It's so unrealistic. I was just on the phone with him for 20 minutes trying to tell him why I feel like I'm being expected for too much and he just says "Okay, so I won't ask for anything anymore since it makes you feel this way. I'll do my own clothes, I'll make my own food." Like I CAN do these things, when I'm awake! I'm just sleeping when you're expecting me to! And he's saying I'm so mad at him for answering all annoyed. I need to sleep, if I don't go to sleep I'm gonna be tired at work and I don't wanna risk being caught dozing off at work. Like when he comes home, he expects me and him to just be together all the time and I want that too but he acts like doesn't want me to be busy doing anything. He wants those things to basically be done when he's at work or something, so I'm telling him it's unrealistic and he's expecting too much from me. I tell him I'm just trying to get sleep in when he's home from work. Why is this so frustrating? Why can't he understand? I have precious time. I don't expect him to get things done before I come home. I don't expect much except for him except just don't make the house smell like smoke. I let him sleep when he wants to sleep. He basically complained about me going shopping for groceries and getting us food to eat yesterday, like who's gonna do it if he won't? I can't do these things earlier because I was busy sleeping or I don't have the energy. I'm just so so so frustrated.

No. 504824

he sounds like an ass. jesus.

No. 504825

You need to dump his unappreciative ass.

No. 504826

I think anon's point is that OP's only hyper focused on death because she's bored. If she filled her life with work, volunteering, or hobbies she could at least get some perspective and not think about it so hard. She might enjoy her life since shes privileged to not have to worry about paying the roof over her head, if only she found things to do.
Plus in addition to bone marrow and stem cell donation being a process that requires multiple appointments–keep in mind anon doesn't currently have the gumption to leave the house once in a year–even if she signed up for organ donation they won't harvest from found suicides.

No. 504827

you need to stop feeling sorry for your pampered ass and patting yourself preemptively on the back for something you probably won’t even actually accomplish is staggeringly tone deaf. sounds like you’ll always be a leech though. try contributing to society in a meaningful way, volunteer some of your precious hours spent sitting on your ass crying about how hard it is to not have to work or get an education.

No. 504829

Ugh. My ex was like this too. Men get jealous when you're "idle" and aren't working when they are. Wouldn't matter if you worked later that day because all they see is the now.

>I will wash my own clothes and cook my own food then!

Lmao also you should let him by the way. When do men ever worry about washing our clothes and making sure we're fed? I used to come home from my shift at 1am and cook my own dinners because my ex would eat on high hog since he worked at a restaurant. He had free fresh salads and whatever else made for himself and he never brought me home anything. I had to eat food that I could make in bulk for cheap like soups, stews, and chili constantly. No man has ever cared about me in the ways I've cared for them, and you shouldn't either sis. If you're working 30-40 hours a week, then the domestic labor needs to be divided fairly.

Heighten your expectations and standards sis, he sounds like a drag.

No. 504830

I didn't realize me being a stay at home wife would enrage so many people. I have dozens of hobbies and donate plenty of knit and crocheted goods to the local hospitals and women's shelters. I don't leave my house because I'm suffering from an illness that often affects my outward appearance. Maybe I should have included the many reasons I don't leave my house but didn't seem necessary. I feel suicidal but am not acting upon it and instead figured I should use my body for others. I have no idea why you are so angry but in the past hour I also reconnected with my old therapy team and will start therapy again soon to try and stop feeling this way.
I used to volunteer at the hospital but had to stop when I wasn't able to stand up for a long time.
It astounds me how angry many of you are for a "pampered life". Kinda funny, made me reflect on how nice I actually do have it despite how I feel inside. Thank you for being honest and telling me what I need to hear.
When I have a match for a donation I will absolutely push myself to go to all of the injection appointments. I want to do this. I want to be able to leave the house again despite my shortcomings.
I am going to force myself to walk to a store alone right now because nothing will ever get better until I apply pressure onto myself to change.
Thank you all for being honest. I want to feel better.

No. 504833

Dump him, move out, enjoy being your own person again! He's controlling and you can't fix that

No. 504837

I seriously wish I could handle being yelled at. I was walking my dog and he started pooping in a front yard, of course then I pulled out my bag and started picking it up. As I'm picking it up, a man in the house starts banging on his storm door then comes out and starts yelling at me. He's like "Why the hell is your dog shitting in my yard? Why is he doing that? I don't want him shitting in my yard! You better take him somewhere else and get off my yard!!" I started apologizing profusely and showed him that I had a bag and was already picking it up.

I thought it was okay to let dogs poop in yards as long as you pick it up? I don't understand why he was so mad, if I'm picking it up then its like the poop was never even there… or am I stupid and its not okay? it's a regular neighborhood, people are walking their dogs all the time.. why am I crying over this

No. 504838

Why do people like you leave out all sorts of information and then blame other people when they take your stories at face value as you typed them?

I'm glad you called your therapist though and will be able to enjoy your life instead of seeking ways to destroy it. I hope you can look back on what you wrote and chuckle.

No. 504839

I wouldn't want animals shitting in my yard either even if someone claimed they had picked it all up. It's really gross tbh. I think he only came at you angry so that you'd get the message, I doubt it's personal.

No. 504840

That's the thing, I don't want to apologize for sleeping. Like if I wasn't sleeping when he's gone for with them I'm sleeping right as he gets home. He doesn't see it that way though. I've done the route where I make majority of my food for myself only because he doesn't like most of what I eat, he expects like warm savory shit all the time. And I told him "Well, I don't have the energy to make this food all the time," I'm sticking to my tuna and crackers for myself, especially when he's sleeping because of course he doesn't want it. If I can make single servings of food for myself, so can he. And he tries telling me he doesn't know how to cook for himself or have the energy to, so I tell him "Learn!" I've printed out recipes for him to do when I'm not at home and he'd bring up the fact I won't eat anything he makes because of a food phobia I have, so I told him "Okay, then that's better for you so you have all these leftovers for yourself or you can just make half a batch of the recipe." He says he wants to make stuff for both of us to enjoy, he wants to see me eat the food he made and I tell him okay then make it, then he does the run-around saying I need to supervise him because he doesn't know what he's doing and how I'll only eat food if I see it being made. I need him to stop being so fucking codependent. I'm just so glad he finally got a job where his time sleeping can be at night again because it's been affecting him this much. I'm honestly not asking for much from him but to just be aware when my sleeping time frame is normally at. Until then, I ain't gonna be doing shit because I'm unconscious.

No. 504841

Did you complain about this here a long time ago? I remember reading a vent exactly like this at some point.
He's mad that you have different schedules and that you get to sleep at times he wishes he could. I promise he doesn't give a shit about chores or groceries, he's just thinking "If I'm not getting sleep, neither are you" and trying his hardest to punish you.
You can't live in peace with someone who would hold that kind of resentment.

No. 504843

Agreed. My ex threatened to turn off the AC before leaving for work to force me to wake up. It's better to be alone than be with someone so petty.

No. 504844

He wants you to manage and do all the emotional labor. How invested are you with this guy? He's not gonna change anon, this is who he is. He can't even make a dinner for both of you without you stepping in to hold his hand.
How much longer will you reward him with your companionship and love for…this?

No. 504848

I honestly didn't think what I had typed out was going to get a response at all, I didn't think it would get read into as deeply. I could explain myself wholely on here but that seems worse somehow! My bad entirely.

Thank you

No. 504849

I've not complained about this before, this sleeping issue is sort of new, both of us used to work at the same time. However about a year ago I did work somewhere where half my schedule took place during the morning. I had to change my sleep schedule every week for work so my sleeping time was so all over the place.

No. 504856

god fucking dammit i hate that i can't wear chokers without thinking someone is gonna think im into ddlg and kink shit chokers are pretty cool fuck the kinksters for turning them into collars

No. 504859

Blame all the cumbrains who think it's totally appropriate to wear their collars in public and non-consensually involve people in their fetish but think no one knows it's a collar "because it looks just like a choker tee-hee!"

No. 504860

Don't be his mom, anon. Sleep deprivation is a torture tactic. I assume you're adults. He can make food for himself and do his own laundry, and every time you cater to him you just encourage your shit behavior. He's making you miserable and a worse person. Get out of there.

No. 504862

I tried the top rated lesbian erotica from reddit and I couldn't get into it. I tried looked at lesbian porn subreddits, same result. Based on that, I'm pretty certain I'm not attracted to women sexually. But irl I find women super pretty and touching boobs and kissing a girl sounds nice. Literally so confused.

No. 504867

I mostly blame men who are too stupid to see (or care about) the difference between a collar and choker.
Honestly, though, even if someone is wearing a collar in public, if it goes with the outfit, doesn't have "DADDY" emblazoned on it or a leash attached, I think it's fine. As long as they're not LARPing actual fetish shit in public on top of it, the aesthetic appeal is fine.
Things like leather, long boots, stockings and corsets have been part of both alt and mainstream fashion for a while, to the point where mere neck accessories are kind of desexualized at this point IMO.

No. 504868

wear them anyways and tell any coomer who sexualizes you for it to eat shit. most people won't think anything of it though, especially if your sense of style is more on the alt side

No. 504871

you’re just biromantic. go kiss a pretty girl and live your best life anon

No. 504874

File: 1579298407111.jpg (96.07 KB, 1500x1002, 61IEVXfQYDL._SL1500_.jpg)

there are a lot of chokers you can wear that don't look like bdsm bullshit, anon. ones that do are tacky and hideous irrespective of their association with bdsm.

No. 504887

anon pls

No. 504890

I'm really feeling like shit today, even more than the usual. I wish I could reach into my brain and push some buttons to make the pain stop, and make me forget about some people entirely.
Everyone wants something from me and all they do is take, leaving me lonely and miserable. It's all wrong, my life is one giant trainwreck and if I died in my sleep tonight I would be fine with it

No. 504895

I accidentally ran a red light earlier

I'm not sure why, I thought I got enough sleep (at least 6 hours or more) and I didn't even feel tired. I have a tendency to be absent minded, but still. I noticed the light was red and slammed on the breaks but couldn't stop because the roads are icy (in summer it wouldn't have been a problem) and luckily it was a very small intersection and no one was coming across it. I'm paranoid now because there was a car behind me and I'm afraid they'll report my license plate # to the police, I'm also paranoid of why it even happened. like what if I have some degenerative disease that's causing brain damage

No. 504902

you can think women are pretty without wanting to be sexually or romantically involved with them. Sounds like you're just romanticizing the idea of being with another woman rather than having any actual desire

No. 504903

You ain't gonna get reported lol. The conditions are terrible out. If you actually attempted to successfully you probably would've swerved like crazy onto the curb. We usually give lax for other drivers in terrible conditions. Who knows, someone might not have traction control.

No. 504904

Wish you all the best anon, not leaving your house for that long fucks with your head so much. Hugs, sis.

No. 504910

My friend's kleptomania is making it impossible to go out with her. When we were a bit younger she would steal shit like lipgloss and nail polish and I would just brush it off cause she would hook me up lol. But we are in our late 20s now and even going to a grocery store with her is stressful because she comes out with her pockets and her bag full of food she doesn't even like! She has a hearing coming up for getting caught stealing electronics while still continuing to steal multiple times a week. I love her and I wish she would attempt to manage this before she gets herself in more trouble.

No. 504916

When people talk about how [people like me] should rope themselves I really want to stay alive just to spite them. Fuck suicidal thoughts, I'll survive!

No. 504917

Well the alternative is that you die and they don't give a shit so yeah living your best life is definitely the best option lol.

No. 504918

what do they mean by "people like you"?

No. 504919

Nayrt, but they mean "people not like us". They always do. No matter who "us" and "them" are.

No. 504920

No. 504921

Who are people like you, anon?

No. 504928

She must be the suicide bait poster from earlier and is still salty at the post >>504813 here because it says "I don't really like reading people like you bitch."

Lol, and now she's just pretending like people told her to neck herself just because they pointed out how charmed her situation actually is and to maybe not feel so bad about it. Hey, whatever keeps your petty asses from killing yourselves and not upsetting people who care about you irl.

No. 504932

No. It's not ok to let dogs shit in your yard. Learn from this. This is why people in certain neighborhoods hate it when home owners have pets.

No. 504933

File: 1579313127242.jpeg (174.66 KB, 744x744, 6B347EEB-5D67-4207-BF9C-46B90F…)

I started thinking about this tweet again and now I’m mad about how fucking stupid some men can be.

For context, he was mad that Simone no longer updates her patreon as much as she used to. Her two available tiers (which only holds a vague promise of maybe a mailed gift and access to blog posts) cost $3 and $5.

To some extent I get being mad that you aren’t getting what you paid for, but at the same time… just cancel your pledge dude. The fucking guilt tripping and rude accusations of not caring enough for her fans as if she owes anyone anything really gets me fucking tilted.

No. 504934

Wow people like you are so superior to people like her! Tell the entire world! Bring your value up by taking her down a peg, fuck yeah!

No. 504938

But why are you lying about what people posted when we can scroll up and see that nobody was telling you to kill yourself? They were just trying to make you realize your life is worth living? Yeah, maybe it was said bitchier than what a therapist would say, but it's lolcow. And it worked. Try to collect yourself and think about it, and btw you're anonymous so there's no need to worry about lost face here.

No. 504942

No. I'm not that anon and my post wasn't related to anything on this site.

No. 504943

They're right.

No. 504944

There's someone acting really weird and unhinged in their posting on lolcow tonight and I'm legit uncomfortable lmao. I never know if it's creative writing or if someone's this mental…

No. 504945

>There's someone acting really weird and unhinged in their posting on LOLCOW

what posts r u talking about tho im curious

No. 504946

File: 1579315646270.jpg (41.15 KB, 400x524, 1046408522383032320_1.jpg)

At this point, I seriously consider summoning tulpa best friend… Any advice?

No. 504947

yes. get help.

No. 504952

I (>>504919 & >>504934) am not the suicide anon.
Turns out neither was that poster (>>504916 & >>504942.

I hope this confusing exchange proves to people why the "us vs them" mentality is fundamentally wrong no matter who the "us" and "them" are.

No. 504955

The ex-neet thread might be of some help, its too help anons to learn how to be normies

No. 504963

I see no outliers. Maybe it's not the posts, maybe it's you. Are you being too normal today?

No. 504964

you're only saying this bc you're the freaky anon

No. 504969

I can neither confirm nor deny this as I have no idea who OP was talking about.

But I will say this. There are seven billion and seven million of us on this planet. This is an unimaginably huge number. Anyone who expects all us 7.7bn to act and think similarly and fit into their comfort zone is out of touch with reality.

No. 504971

why do i want to kiss you?

No. 504974

There are so many weird femcel stalkers out there in the world, stop it, get some help.

No. 504975

I'm in a hotel and the people next door were having a party and angry debates until 3am. Multiple people complained and each time they just carried on like nothing happened. Staff kept threatening to throw them out but ultimately didn't.

I'm half tempted to get revenge tomorrow morning since I'm up early and there will be hangovers galore but I have a feeling that I'll be more likely to be thrown out than them.

What would other anons do in this situation?

No. 504984

Feeling achingly sad about my life rn. Probably just one of those nights but things feel pretty hopeless.

No. 504988

just wait 10-20 years for 2000's nostalgia to steep in

No. 504989

I genuinely hate people who do anything just for any type of attention, I guess that's how I ended up on this damned website. Lately I've been seeing girls I used to go to school with trying to sell feet pics or post very slutty photos of them selves then proceed to whine about cum-brained dudes going in to their DMs asking for more. Like I'm all for Female empowerment but to expect gross ass dudes to be respectful in a private conversation right after you posted a pic of your tits out is pretty stupid.

You can always tell that they get off on the attention too since they always post screen caps crying over how the dude was gross, so they proceed to get ass pats from other women or dumb neck beard white nights that also want to fuck them. I honestly just don't understand how people can thrive off of negative attention.

No. 504990

pretty sure my dad is cheating on my mom by going to prostitutes or some shit bc I just overheard a very suspicious phone call kms I'm literally shaking and want to throw up

No. 504994

Your dad is shit, let your mom know. She's probably in denial about it.

No. 504995

If this has been happening, it's been happening for a while and I literally leave out of state for school in a day so I don't want to start that whole thing. My mom and grandma are currently babysitting for my sister so I can't even talk to them. IDK it's fucking sickening and I'm not even close with them anyway fml I wish I didn't fucking naturally listen in on phone calls

No. 504997

Tell him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him it makes you sick. Let him see your disgust grimace. THEN go tell your mom. Then leave for school.

No. 504998

im about to write two exams and despite studying for it i feel really unprepared and like im gonna fuck up
im looking at my notes and the stuff i wrote down myself suddently looks foreign to me
why am I like this…… i just want to pass
it's like i studied for nothing because nothing really sticks

No. 505005

Some motherfucker turned in front of me while I was going 40mph passing a green light in the middle of a snowstorm, we almost crashed because of them. I basically slid onto the sidewalk going sideways and this person basically came to a stop for like 2 seconds and continued on driving. I had no one behind me, why didn't they just wait? My heart was beating fast for a few minutes afterwards. I'm so mad why are people so fucking dumb. It's so easy to tell when someone is driving close enough where it's obvious you shouldn't be attempting to turn, ESPECIALLY since the roads are extremely slick.

No. 505008

Bad on him too, but you shouldn't be driving 40 in a snowstorm, especially if it was in a city.

No. 505011

it's frustrating the way people talk at length about "very severe" depression when they don't even try anti-depressants (not talking about those with a financial access barrier, just the "i don't wanna!" people). if you aren't suffering enough to try something, be quiet and keep it to yourself. being treatment resistant is one thing, but i'm so tired of them acting like they're so tragically depressed when they can't even be fucked to try meds once. i've been on 11 different anti-depressants of multiple classes, 2 off label meds as experimental/alternative treatment for depression, and no such luck yet. i took a genomic assay a while back and apparently i can't uptake SSRIs, NRDIs or SNRIs, and i've yet to find a psychiatrist that will even entertain the idea of going with an older class. hoping that ketamine will be the answer and not just a waste.

why would they even think to complain to others when they have possibilities at their disposal and resources and they just clearly aren't suffering enough to want to try? the thing is that they never act like it's just low-grade, they hype it up but then give the worst excuses as to why they don't even want to try to see if something will work. it must be for the aesthetic or something. i don't know.

No. 505012

Does anyone know how to make/get $1600 fast?

I’ve been trying to pay off my remaining financial debt but currently do not have the funds to do so. My liberal arts department tried to help by giving me the scholarship to pay it off but was denied by “higher-ups” because it was the previous semester and not the current’s. I’m basically forced to take another semester break because of this ordeal. I haven’t been in school since the spring of last year and I’m starting to give up hope of any chance of going back to school after so many obstacles being put in place.

I was told to speak with one of the financial aid directors and I fear that I might get rejected again regardless as I’ve tried to plead my case numerous times with financial aid and their business departments

No. 505013

I am being forced to go see my sister who sexually abused me when I was a child. I really don’t want to but I’m fucking sick of my family constantly guilt-tripping me for refusing to see her since she now has a baby. I never asked to be an aunt and I feel zero warmth toward my sister since she has borderline personality disorder and abused me. It is going to be awkward as fuck when I see her as I haven’t talked to her in forever since I blocked her everywhere. Whatever. I’ll just get it done and over with.

No. 505014

I'm so tired of not being able to fall asleep or sleeping for 8-12 hours. Tired of being foggy headed with my actions on major auto pilot. I feel so unfocused, so empty. As time goes on it just keeps getting worse. Unsure if it's related to my excessive estrogen since 13. Maybe I'm deficient in a vitamin. That I have some mild depersonalization depression.

No. 505015

Don't go anon.
Do the others know that she abused you?

No. 505016

I completely agree with this. I care deeply about people who love to have these pity parties about themselves and at first I felt useless because I didn’t know how to help but now I know they won’t ever change. It’s kind of exhausting tbqh

Also istg lately I’ve been wondering why my bf is harder to handle than a 8 years old who throws tantrums almost daily.

No. 505020

Yes. They are forcing me to go because my mom will be staying behind to help her while my dad will have to drive back alone and he wants me to help drive. I have been dealing with this guilt-tripping for over a year and whenever I bring up the abuse, they conveniently forget about it shortly after. I just plan on avoiding her as much as possible. She has NEVER apologized for her actions toward me. I honestly don’t give a shit about the fact that she has a baby with some dumbass who got a ton of money scammed from him and already has kids from a previous marriage. Mom keeps saying that I should have sympathy for her situation but having a baby with that dude was HER choice.

Sorry for the long rant but, fuck, I just hope my parents won’t bother me about her again after this. I am just beyond sick of this situation.

No. 505035

File: 1579352186246.jpg (37.21 KB, 702x702, 7a507a779b29cd442a5462cb31fd14…)

I'm so fucking disgusted right now. I was making lunch and went to grab some butter, which was in one of those plastic containers, and when I went to pull the foil on top back, I noticed a little pinkish-red WORM on top of the foil. I looked at the butter itself to see if there was anything gross and it looked fine but I was so repulsed that I threw the entire container of butter away.

I'm so paranoid about bugs and I want to die now. How the fuck did a worm or maggot or whatever even crawl under the plastic lid in the first place? I didn't even know bugs could even survive at fridge temperatures. It definitely was alive because I saw it move. I'm truly disgusted. Do any experienced anons possibly know what kind of bug it might be? I'm scared to google because I'm a wimp who's too disgusted and afraid of insects and don't want to see any pictures or anything gross. I just want to know if I should throw everything in the fridge out and how to prevent something like this from happening again!!!

No. 505037

it could be something simple as moth larve. might have gotten there during shipping, or in the warehouse.
is it still in the trash? maybe ring/return it to the store, because there might actually be an infestation or something more serious and the product may need to be recalled. imagine if someone out there has the same problem but doesn't realize and is munching away.
sorry to gross you out further anon! at least you didn't eat it. it could even be a lil baby catepillar that crawled out of a lettuce in the store, has happened to me.
hope you're okay buddy! don't trip too hard, maybe have a bit of a clean of your fridge just for some peace of mind.

No. 505038

File: 1579352553994.jpeg (40.38 KB, 760x641, 7EF79E2B-602C-47A9-8F04-E5DE6D…)

I found my old Instagram account I made when I was really young and fugly and it’s so bad. I reported it and said the owner of the account was under 13, which I was at the time, but if that doesn’t work I will kms.

Does anyone that won’t blackmail me know how to hack an Instagram account? Am I retarded for asking that here? I’m desperate lol

No. 505041

Ugh, the worst part is that of all the gross and dangerous insects, stupid moths (and butterflies, but moths are worse) are the ones that disgust and freak me out the most, and yes I know that's retarded.
I bought this container of butter a few months ago and have been using it with no problem up until now, it was more than halfway finished, so I don't know if it has to do with where I bought it from. I think I last used it maybe four or five days ago and I didn't notice anything weird. I guess it may have been carried in from some produce or something and crawled its way into the butter… ick. My roommates are coming home tomorrow night so I'm gonna warn them and maybe we can all clean out the fridge together, since most of the things in there are theirs right now. But thank you anon, you made me feel a little bit better.

No. 505049

Took a plan b last weekend, my period ended the 6th, but I'm having my full blown period again because of it. I'm mad as hell. I'm tired of bleeding constantly

No. 505052

Omg, I hate bugs in general but moths are one of my biggest fears as well - especially big ones. The way they always manage to sneak in the house at night when you want to sleep or relax and the horrific way they flutter uncontrollably all over the place with no seeming sense of direction.. Literal nightmare fuel.

No. 505054

File: 1579355993955.jpg (109.02 KB, 720x960, 58740081_2327156900938349_7053…)

I love this one band so much, I keep listening to their songs but I feel it's not enough, I don't know what else am I supposed to do to feel fulfilled, I just feel overwhelmed by love? Their music is the most beautiful I have ever heard, nothing comes even close to it, it's honestly my favorite thing in life but it makes me angry that I'm such a consumer, that something that feels so close to me is made by someone else, it makes me feel like I have no identity of my own. I know someone is gonna ask who I am talking about so it's Meshuggah

No. 505056

File: 1579356317649.jpeg (208.25 KB, 1300x865, hopper.jpeg)

omg this so much. I hate hoppers for this exact reason. They're so big where I live. They fly and they even managed to hop on me. Like, I just felt some elastic plastic feeling thing on my arm and then I saw this giant alien looking hopper on my back. I started screaming and jumping around but it wouldn't get off. My brother was just standing there and laughing at me.

No. 505058

Whats the bands name??

No. 505062

I was the original suicide-pampered lifestyle anon from earlier and utilized everything that was said to me to get dressed and go to the library to check out a book. Something I haven't done in a very long time despite wanting to. I needed (and appreciated!) people being rough on here and not holding back because it's what I needed to hear. A lot of people that I talk to in my personal life don't challenge me to change or tell me honestly how I'm behaving because I think it's easier than worrying that they might affect our relationship or something. I also redid my resume and signed up for a college sewing course at the end of February which will give me time to work on getting out of the house and having human dialogue again before it starts. I wasn't the other suicide posters later that day because I don't hold any resentment at all for what I was told- quite the opposite. Just reaching back out to thank you girls again for being as real as you are.
I already feel a little better about the future and started knitting a new pair of wool socks. Thank you all again

No. 505064

Yeah, living in the north is a blessing for me as we don't have these freaks here. I understand your fear of them.

No. 505067

i’m one of the anons who was harsh with you, but this post and the last one before this i saw from you have changed my opinion. it sounds like you actually do give a shit about improving your life, so good for you anon, i hope all of your plans come to fruition and you can feel confident about where you’re headed.

No. 505069

File: 1579358962672.jpeg (43.84 KB, 639x517, 82E44D66-371D-4FD3-82CA-4BF907…)

I cut my hair from hip length to just above breast length recently and now I'm considering cutting it chin length in the summer, like pic related!

I just wish I had friends so I could get opinions on which length suits me best. Cutting toxic friends out of your life is of course always good but now I have no idea what to do when I want opinions on myself, lol. My boyfriend will think I look good no matter what and I'd rather not post myself online and get orbiters/doxxed. Oh well.

No. 505074

What's your face shape anon? I have a wider, round face and everyone always tells me how much better I look with short hair. You should search around a bit and look for people who have the same face shape and short hair and see how it looks on them. Afaik there are also some apps where you can get a virtual hair styel so maybe try that (not the best option but why not try? )
Either way, I would just cut how much ever I like. If that's what you like , why not? I'm sure everyone can pull off short hair if styled accordingly.

No. 505077

>I know someone is gonna ask who I am talking about so it's Meshuggah
You could buy a cheap wig and see how short hair looks on you. I'm gonna buy a short wig for cosplay so if it looks good I might just cut my real hair off too. I only think styling short hair requires more work. Like if you have a bad hair day with long hair you can just braid it or put it in a ponytail but what are you gonna do with short hair on a bad hair day? You have to curl/straighten or wash it

No. 505080

Has anyone else lost a parent/both their parents in their early 20s? I lived alone with my mother and she passed away 2yrs ago and no one in my group of friends has had this happen to them and whenever they talk badly or entitled about their parents for silly small things I feel a bit angry altho I don’t portray it or let them know bc I used to do the same with my mum sometimes but in my head I think “you should be grateful you can still talk to them and rely on them” and I feel quite sad because I miss my mum a lot but it’s hard to talk about with people, it feels like since I’m in my 20s and not a child people feel like I should be strong and independent but it really is hard having no support system emotionally that is there for you no matter what..

No. 505087

>you should be grateful you can talk to them and rely on them

I don't know the specifics of your friends and what they were complaining about, but many of us have toxic parents who we could never talk to and would be punished if we went to them for help, if we could rely on them at all.

I envy your relationship anon. I wish I had a loving bond with my mom, I wish she had the parenting instinct to have fostered one instead of always fighting and being in competition with me. When she dies, I'll feel nothing but lifted weight off my shoulders and relief. It's a little sad.

No. 505096

I’m so sorry anon. I lost my mom when I was 19, so I get it. My dad went off the deep end and ran off shortly after. People are uncomfortable talking about that kind of stuff I’ve learned over the years. It’s hard not to feel jealous and angry of other people who still have family support. Keep going though, you’re going to become extremely tough. You’ll be alright. Your friends can not understand what you have been through, and it’s okay to feel all of those feelings that come along with this type of tragedy.

No. 505099

Lost them before 20.
I agree with the other anon, people just get uncomfortable or nervous when you try to explain. They haven't lost anyone major in their life so they don't understand why they should cherish that person so much. I've accepted they're gone and in some situations am happy about it. Gave me a lot more freedom to be who I want instead of what they wanted. I'll always miss that emotional and financial safety net though. There will never be someone who loves me unconditionally ever again or I could always move back with. You aren't alone though anon.

No. 505102

Lost my mom when I was 18 and she was my everything although I didn't really show her that and was a short-tempered, difficult, bratty daughter instead. I still carry all that guilt and grief with me so in the beginning i used to get really upset when my friends were rude to their moms who obviously did their best ( some had difficult relationships with their moms though) but I never lectured them cause I didn't wanna be that vulnerable, and I was afraid they'd reply with something hurtful so I just let them be. I was just really jealous and sad when I saw the moms being gentle and playful with them and call them by their nicknames because that's how I was with my mom too…it's been a few years but I still feel like I lost a huge part (if not all) of myself with her.

No. 505108

I hate living in the UK
I know it's mean to say but everyone here is so ugly! So much fake tan, heaps of makeup etc. I'm a complete outcast here and I can't wait to move.

No. 505113

I think the guy I like is ghosting me. We've been on a couple of dates and I thought things were going pretty well, but he hasn't responded to my messages and hasn't contacted me in days. We even had plans to go out this weekend but I haven't heard from him at all. It's possible that he's not ghosting me but is just really busy/something happened that made him unavailable, but part of me feels like I should just take a hint lol. But it's only been like, three days, so there's a good chance I'm being paranoid/overthinking it. Not sure how much time I'm suppose to let pass before I conclude that he's ignoring me. I'm thinking of giving him a week before I 100% determine that he's not interested.

No. 505114

He's probably ghosting.
If someone really likes you, they can never have enough of you in the early stages.

No. 505117

Unless he's in a coma or has been abducted by the mafia there is ZERO reason he couldn't have taken 5 minutes off his time to send you a message, especially if you had plans. Don't accept his flimsy excuses if he comes back to you.

No. 505120

Yeah I know some people have toxic parents (my dad was abusive but he passed when I was a child, felt absolutely nothing when he was gone but relief) so that comment wasn’t intended for those who have shitty parents, It’s also another reason I don’t say anything because friends who I’m not as close to might be experiencing abuse so it’s really insensitive to say, it’s more of a thought I get because I just wish mine was there

No. 505122

i kinda posted about this already but whatever. my boyfriend dated a girl last year and she broke up with him last december. he had her blocked until about april which is also when we started dating but were friends for a while before. he unblocked her because he said he is completely over her and has no feelings and they are facebook friends and follow each other on instagram and twitter which i honestly hate so much. he likes her posts fairly frequently and i also see that she responds to his stories and they chat. this makes me so uncomfortable but i know he isn't cheating or doing anything inappropriate because he opens the conversations in front of me. i told him i hate it because it makes me insecure and he asked if i wanted him to stop but i feel awkward asking that because i don't want to be the "crazy gf who makes her bf block people" and they seem to be nothing more than friends. this is really a ramble at this point but i just feel sad and insecure right now.
i appreciate these threads a lot because i have no one irl to talk to about this so it feels good just to type it.

No. 505124

Feels like I'll never be able to get over my disgust of alcohol due to growing up with an alcoholic, abusive mother. I'll never drink it, but even just hearing drunk people brings the trauma back, lol.

No. 505127

It's worth discussing in person seriously. I had a similar insecurity thing and my boyfriend has agreed to cut out porn 100% even though he didn't do it that often. It's important to just lay your boundaries.

Best of luck anon

No. 505130

Other anons will have better advice, but I think it's perfectly reasonable to be uncomfortable that your bf texts his ex gf regularly. Sure, it's been months, but she did dump him.

If he brought it up and seemed open about it, ask if he will pull back a bit from their relationship/social media conversations. I think that if you want to stay friends with your ex, you have to expect you can't be that close anymore.

I'm not sure what to else to say about following her on twitter/insta because people can use those differently (like frequently post more personal things, or just nice pictures from weddings, etc.). Are you three in the same friend group or see each other irl regularly?

Anyways, hope your bf is understanding and you guys work it out!

No. 505149

yeah that is something to mention as well, she is friends with some people in the friend group but in more of an acquaintance/social media friend if that makes sense, she isn't at any of the outings that they do and i've never met her.

thank you both for the advice, i think i'll bring it up again and talk about it so i can come to a resolution. i appreciate you guys

No. 505160

File: 1579387656236.gif (802.48 KB, 500x332, giphy (7).gif)

>date is coming to pick me up in a half hour
>decide to smoke weed
>get hungry
>go to fridge and savage leftover ihop omelette from this morning
>mfw i just did this right before I'm gonna go out to dinner to a greasy burger place

No. 505166

My parents give me shit because my boyfriend is 20 and I’m 24 even though their age gap is similar. I really feel like this would not be an issue if our genders were switched but whatever.

No. 505170

File: 1579390944954.jpg (25.69 KB, 640x604, heheeh.jpg)

My friend just finished her Master's in a related but more specialized field to what I got my Bachelor's in, and my inner dialogue later went like this:
>Wow she's doing so great! She found an area of study that actively needs researchers and she committed to it, unlike me who floated from topic to topic without putting a ton of time into any of them. She'll probably get a good job and do important things all because she took the plunge of doing her Master's. How can I even say I'm interested in [field] when all I have to show for it is a wishy washy bachelor's?
>OK well if I think it's so awesome maybe I should seriously consider going to grad school and doing something similar.
>Oh so you want to waste your parents' money or go into debt just so you can feel impressive? It's not like getting your master's would guarantee you a good job.You probably just want to do it so you can stall for time and avoid competing in the actual industry.

It's like I can see the positive aspects of other people's lives but as soon as I associate something with me it becomes tainted. I think a lot of people do this subconsciously and I don't do it as much as I used to, but only because I started catching myself and realized how ridiculous it sounds. How do you feel good about what you're doing while still acknowledging the potential drawbacks and not giving yourself excessive asspats?

No. 505171

File: 1579391434761.jpg (40.01 KB, 512x512, uiuio6rddd.jpg)

>mfw my emotions are constantly all over the place
>One moment I'm happy, motivated and dancing
>then the next moment I'm crying or scared for no reason

I have no idea when this cycle even started but I'm getting really tired of it. I just want to be fine goddammit

No. 505180


Honestly just learning to be kinder to yourself, I think. It’s not a switch you can flip, but over time I’ve gotten a lot better at being kind/gentle/forgiving to myself and it helps a lot mentally. I think if you start by even just recognizing the times when you’re tearing yourself down, you start to realize how often you do it and how it doesn’t really help anything. Then you work on laying off and finding more positive ways to approach challenges.

No. 505183

Was there something in particular that set you off? Maybe there's something in the back of your mind that you're ignoring or not paying attention to that you need to address.

No. 505192

My husband told me to buy my own birthday present since we have a shared bank account. Thanks babe.

No. 505194

i hope he was joking

No. 505199

I’m sorry you’re living something like this, anon. Lost my mother when I was 18 and she was the whole world for me. She was everything. I’m not saying this because she’s not here anymore, she was the best mother and friend I could ever have.
I’m not going to lie, it’s hard living with this resentment and bitterness and I can’t assure you it will ever get better. It’s so much easier to think about the bad things that had happened that the good moments, just because we can’t solve past problems.
But people is selfish like this, after all. Your friends won’t think about you or have you in consideration because lucky them, they didn’t have to experience this yet. And I know it sucks, I know it’s not fair and I know I wish you could change that but sometimes it’s like this and you will hate those moments for sure (I lost count of how many times I got angry with friends deep inside when they are ungrateful to their parents just because they care about them, or when they told they don’t want to live with them anymore just because when I would do anything (and I truly mean it, I would do and give anything) for just one more day with my mother…just a few hours…). As I said, your friends are selfish even if they don’t mean to and even when you know you shouldn’t get mad, you will. It’s only natural and just another thing you have to learn to live with, even if it sounds and is terrible.
One thing that makes me keep calm sometimes is thinking how my mother would have liked me to be and feel after all these years. For sure it is something to be devastated about but it keeps me going on. That is when my mind doesn’t go to the darkest place…on those moments I’m lost too. But I keep trying to think about how she told me she expected me to be happy…To keep hanging on…even if it was without her.
I’m sorry if I sound kind of sad.

No. 505201

i am shaking with terror and fear right now. my genuinely insanely mentally and emotionally abusive father who i've been stuck living with my whole life (my mother never divorced. i do resent her for this because she had so many years to leave but anyway) just would not stop causing drama, purposely trying to start fights so he can play victim and scream and over power everyone, and i just could not tolerate it so i just went off on this piece of shit, i was screaming how he's a manipulative irrational fucking psychotic narcissist to simplify it along with of course more personal statements about how awful it is to be here and about how evil he has been for the past almost 2 decades, and i know this was a huge error. he is going to make our lives somehow even more like hell. and i live in a frozen shithole where it's -30, my mother is too poor to move out which is a fucking joke because this worthless cunt of a "man" DOES NOT WORK! HE MAKES NO MONEY! he is home 24/7, ready to nitpick and try to make whoever happens to be home with him miserable over the tiniest miniscule things. he makes snide remarks if you turn on a certain light in the kitchen that he and his godly self doesn't personally like (he prefers the house literally almost black at all times) for example. i'm usually really good at acting like a mega submissive, silent daughter so his at times blatantly misogynistic and consistently delusional hateful limitless rage will stay away from me, but nights like this where he starts fights on purpose, gaslights like nobody you've ever seen before (hate how watered down the word gaslight has become online btw not that that's important though) and mentally tortures my mother for hours upon hours because he does nothing and enjoys being mentally abusive as his job, plus screaming at my mother calling her a bitch when it gets more violent, once in awhile escalating it so it's more physical etc i just can't take it. probably the worst part is his delusions, he says he never ever said or did something he just did 45 seconds ago that both of us clearly heard him yell in our faces then brags about how he's so much smarter than my mom and how he was "blessed with a very clear and honest memory", he tells us to "get in the real world" when this decrepit, useless cunt talks to nobody, has no job for almost 20 fucking years, doesn't see his favorite golden child nephews even anymore other than maybe once every 6 months or so, like he is absolutely insane. it is the most sickening, brain killing, frustrating thing being trapped and abused into having panic attack issues and anxiety by a "stay at home """dad"""" and….

i don't think i can do it anymore. i tried to get a job, got an interview last week, they never goddamned called me back when they said they would. i only make 300$ a month through an at home job… sometimes a little more selling on depop and such. why couldn't my mother just follow the trend of getting a divorce back in like 2005. i feel like i'm being ruined and destroyed. but it's even worse what he does to my mother, that's the worst part. so many kids have dads who suck but they work all day every day, mine was there to suffocate, judge 100x more harshly than any rational person, terrorize me for not heating my lunch up for an extra 10 seconds when i was 13 (you will be screamed at if you don't follow the precise box instructions, beware everyone!) just such a fucking manipulative, worthless disgusting cunt of a "man". tonight he started yelling hysterically about how my mother, who has a life, works 6 days straight long hours a week just to live, is the one who does everything like all the grocery shopping (which is my sperm donor's favorite thing to scream and flip out about, when my mother dares to FORGET TO GET ONE EXTRA CAN OF BEANS! oh what an evil bitch, the poor innocent man. anyway sorry hat was a tangent.. this is hard to read i know.) has NO value, meanwhile his godly holiness who has zero rational thoughts, makes no money, can't take care of anyone or anything, has "so much value. i know i have value!" the deluded pathetic crazy bastard hollers. i wish so badly he had died in a car accident like so many other kids parents do when they're young like age 8 or something. but god, i think it'd be even sweeter if he just fucking dropped dead right now. i hope i don't sound overly passive becausei screamed at him after he jus wouldn't stop terrorizing us that every narcissistic mentally abusive piece of shit man should be killed, and i told him if he fucking gets in my face and lunges at me to intimidate me, the best he'll get is the cops showing up at our house.

i think that's enough. i know this is so long, hard to read, not very organized, but i'm so worried now. i don't know what will happen now, i don't know what he'll do tonight, what he'll do tomorrow.. wish i had a real job that paid more, i'm trying i really am, i just wish he'd do us all a favor and kill himself already. everyone caters to him all the time, we keep the peace, we don't say anything when he controls us and treats us like puppets on a string, yet i'm STILL torn apart mercilessly.

okay.. vent FINALLY OVER! i have nobody i'm close enough to to spew all of this to, so i figured lolcow would do.

No. 505203

I just found out my husband is drawing fetish art of a loli character. I am not a loli, or petite at all. I feel like killing myself tbh

No. 505204

very sad situation, anon. your mother really needs to take responsibility and divorce him. if he is demonstrably abusive, your mother should be able to get the house. collect proof of his abuse. you guys should both file restraining orders on him and your mom needs to file for divorce. i wish i had more room in my house and that it wasn't a grungy shithole that i have to fix up so i could help you anons that are stuck around abusive parents. i know exactly what it's like.

No. 505207

Why do you want to kill yourself?
your husband deserves the fucking rope like all pedos

No. 505209

Because all men are pedophiles anyway. I hate men so much but I hate myself even more. I wish I wasnt born a woman, I wish I was born an insect or a plant.

No. 505211

File: 1579407772125.jpeg (1.29 MB, 1242x1454, 1557843293024.jpeg)

why would you hate yourself more than your pedo husband? i too wish i wasn't a woman, but why should i hate myself for that? doesn't make sense. stop it and put your hatred in the proper place.

No. 505214

>Because all men are pedophiles anyway
that's all weebs you're thinking of

No. 505241

christ almighty I am so sick of older rich white women being so fucking snobby at my work. I work at a large American retailer and I'll have a lot of customers coming in who think they're too good to shop there while at the same time getting SUPER angry that they aren't getting the exact deals they erroneously read on the ad. Then they come up super angry and try to return it saying it's MISLEADING. I'm soooo sorry you had to spend five dollars more than you expected at this store you are apparently too rich to shop at??? Or do you live in the poor neighborhood of the affluent mostly white neighboring city you just HAD to mention you live in? I am really really not the type to assume people are being racist to me for no reason but the fact that I look a) Mexican and b) underaged makes these women think they can talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot. God I should've gone onto the floor and pulled one of those signs so they could read the goddamn thing again.

Rude/entitled customers really don't bother me usually because I know most of them are acting like that because they don't have control over some other part of their lives, but I did not like the way she looked at my (actually Mexican) boss when he told her to have a good day as she was leaving.

No. 505246

Rich people are misers, I've never thought to return half the stupid old shit I've seen rich white women return. The Karen stereotype exists for a reason. I've also rarely complained about the "service" or given it a second thought when someone got my order wrong. I'm doing well now but I used to work some of these jobs and its brutal, people who grow up pampered and praised don't realize how hard the rest of us work.

No. 505280

File: 1579433449879.jpg (12.2 KB, 480x489, hehe.jpg)

Well ladies, I have a sad update. I'm the Anon from last thread whose boyfriend doesn't use soap when he showers. Guess what? I also learned that he doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. Not even after taking a shit.

I talked to him about how it was important to me that he does it. He just said "okay" and then ignored me for the rest of the night. I feel like a god damn clown, I really thought this guy was perfect.

No. 505283

I serve the ultra rich cos my store is in the top 2 richest suburbs in my state and they are the most miserable people. Walk around like you just told them they're puppy was murdered. Pathetic.

No. 505288

You're going to dump him right?

If not then have fun getting a crippling UTI from his unwashed hands

No. 505292

>have jet lag from traveling back from asia
>keep sleeping around 8 pm and waking up at midnight
>browse phone and shitpost during that time which wrecks my sleep cycle even more
why am i so goddamn lacking in self-control

No. 505295

Either dump him or you have to point out how stupid it is for him not to use soap all the time until he gets it in his head. My fiance tried to do the whole dirty hippy, chemophobe, soap-turns-the-frogs-gay-because-of-estrogenic-compounds bullshit and I nagged and ragged the living hell out of him until he stopped that paranoid shit. Hell, it sounds mean but you may have to go to insulting his self-esteem, like pointing out how people can smell him and shit like that.

No. 505300

I'm 25 and I've never lost my phone going out. Until last night. I wasn't super drunk but I dropped my phone in the uber I was riding in. Luckily I live within walking distance of my parents so I have some access to a phone.

However, now I'm afraid the guy who ordered the uber isn't going to help me get my phone back. He seemed really annoyed at me last night because I was hanging around in his room trying to see if I was going to get my phone back but he was trying to hook up with a girl. I'm also afraid he's not going to do anything because he won't think I would pay the lost item fee. Idk.

No. 505311

Anyone else with no irl friends, how do you deal with it?
Does it bother you?

I have online friends that I love very much, but no one shares my interests in my area (I live in a very small town) and I just don't get along much with anyone. I am a little jealous when I see girls go out shopping together or wearing matching outfits.

No. 505322

did you enjoy Asia anon? Where did you go?

No. 505326

I did. I was in China to visit relatives. It has been a while since I traveled such a long distance though and the jet lag from flying back to the states is seriously messing me up.

No. 505327

So…maybe I'm petty but I have a different strategy for you anon lol. Are you close with any of his friends and family that he talks to? I'm thinking you could get them in on shaming him. Assumimg they're not soapless hippies as well.
Sometimes embarrassment works.

No. 505338

Half plus seven rule says you're golden. It's your parents that are wrong.

No. 505343

I keep myself constantly occupied with work and hobbies because otherwise I start noticing how lonely I am

No. 505356

File: 1579462658383.jpg (19.58 KB, 826x282, 1575913568649.jpg)

I am so fucking upset that I can't even fake being okay anymore and have constant breakdowns even in front of people who know me as someone who never cracks. I am too far gone, I just wanna be okay for fucks sake. 2020 can suck my ass, fucking need someone to talk to before I completely unravel.

No. 505366

I'm going to rant about something that I ranted already god knows how many times here because I know that I'm overreacting but I also feel like I have a legit reason to be so worried as I am right now.

The thing is the following: Last october I finally got several of my teeth fixed, speak, I got them crowned. It needed to be done because they were beyond simple fixing. It wasn't an easy step for me to do because of my dental phobia, but I did it and I couldn't have been more proud with myself because I got crowns that look like real ones (no gold or so). Two weeks after I got them permanently I got some kind of pain in my entire mouth era. I have never experienced something like this before. I thought, well with the major procedure I just had, it will go away, my mouth just had to get used to it. But it didn't, So I went of course to the dentist. He said that it was nothing to worry about. Me on the other hand I explained to him that it felt like some sort of heartburn in my mouth and caused pain everywhere and it me go through the roof because what I felt was so uncomfortable. He said I shouldn't use dental hygiene products that were too aggressive and change to some that were not so harsh. I did and it got better, for a shot while, then it started again and I went there again. He took a look again and said that I should change my teeth brush and something like that so it would calm down, it calm down again, for two weeks and it came back. I couldn't go to the dentist again because it was shortly before christmas and he went on holidays for three weeks, I got an appointment shorty after new year. At this point I had no issues but went there anyways because I waited so long and I rather go there one time too much that too little. I was told when it's ok, well then it's nothing serious. Two days after the last appointment I got the same issue.

It's been now over two months now since it started and it drives me fucking nuts. I had today again a sleepless night over this because it worries me so much that I have the worst health anxiety because of this. I fear loosing my teeth so much and not knowing what the fuck is happening in my mouth is the absolute worst. So I sit here, having my dental phobia, health anxiety about loosing my teeth and hearth pressure trough the fucking roof. And on the top of that I don't trust my dentist at this point. I'm angry and disappointed that he leaves my like this. I know that the only thing to do at this point is go to another dentist but I've been at my current one for over two decades now and idk it was somebody that I trusted in that matter and going to somebody else just never really came to my mind up until recently because idk what else to do. Now I wonder how many more things are wrong with my dental health, how fucked my teeth really are and I feel like I'm to loose it (including my teeth) completely because I feel like I don't what the issue is. It's an absolute nightmare and I want this to stop because I have also other things to worry about but it really pushes me mentally over the edge. Fucking hell.

No. 505369

That moment when you try to kill yourself and your family gets mad at you because you are throwing a fit and being childish

No. 505372

This site is truly turning into a shit.
So many toxic anons here, more than ever.
4chan is nothing compared to this site.

No. 505374

Do you have examples? I kinda cautiously agree

No. 505376

This site is pretty comfy tbh, I know that it can be bad sometimes but it's gotten better compared to 2016 when this place was truly toxic

No. 505377

File: 1579469664549.jpg (37.32 KB, 1242x574, kitten.jpg)

lol are you me anon? I have severe health anxiety too and i've had sleepless nights too because i was so worried about my teeth and how the dentist messed them up (i'm actually currently still worried since i have toothache and other dental issues and i really don't wanna go back, like, really.) I'm no dentist but you won't lose your teeth over crowns that have a bad fit or something. Please do go to another dentist, though but first go check who the good ones in your area are.
I know how worried you are, i really do but you're teeth are gonna be fine, i know it cause even people with the most fucked up teeth still have teeth and you won't lose them that easily(even IF you lose them, you won't be toothless, there are implants and shit)
Please don't worry and sleep!

No. 505378

>4chan is nothing compared to this site.
lol. alright. go to 4chan and enjoy the child porn and gore pics then

No. 505383

Anons here become more aggressive. I feel like people here try to write posts as hurtful as they can.
On 4chan, they just write "ok you faggot" and that's all. Meanwhile, here anons try to came up with most hurtful posts.
It doesn't help that lc is mostly a "girls" board, we should support each other. Or at least don't attack every time, without a reason.
Even if someone is venting, people gonna write something hurtful. On 4chan, I see more "I feel you bro" attitude.
In the end, we shit on guys here but this site proves that we can be as cruel as guys.
But that's my experience tho.
That's how I feel. And it's quite sad, cause I know this site for a years now. Or maybe I become more mature and overall tired with people bullshit…

No. 505387

I’m finally in a healthy functional relationship and I can feel myself wanting to fuck it up, why do I do this
Why do I WANT to be miserable, what the fuck

No. 505388


Thank you so much for your kind words, anon! It means a lot!

I do plan to invest some time into researching about the dentist in my area, also wanted to have a chat with my health insurance about what I should pay attention to when I do change and such things, because as I said, I have never changed a dentist (or even doctor) before so it's a bit scary on that matter for me too. I wish I just didn't used Dr. Google to look up symptoms because what described my current situation just fucked me mentally even more and the fact that so many family members lost their teeth as well doesn't help at all. Change needs to happen, I want to be healthy and I want to have a good sleep again. I hope things work out for you too anon, wishing you the best!

No. 505390

Can you elaborate?

No. 505391

nta but she's right there's some absolute instigators here

No. 505392

Her post definitely elobrates. I agree with it. Women can be really cruel to eachother.

No. 505394

Agree, it's especially sad to see in the vent thread or ot in general

No. 505396

That's good! Definitely do it as soon as possible so you can finally relax. And don't worry, I visit sites like webmd like 50 times a day and it's mentally fucking exhausting.
I wish we wouldn't deal with this…but here we are.
You sound lovely anon, I hope you'll feel better very soon!
Good luck and like I said, don't worry!

No. 505398

god are you me anon. I'm personally having issues because I am too hard on myself over smallets things and it seems to take a toll on my boyfriend, I don't deserve him tbh

No. 505399

the sudden influx of unsaging newfags on all boards is very, very noticeable. methinks this has something to do with PULL being dead.

No. 505402

Aly Art always uses such Face Tuned ridiculous examples her videos are pointless outside of her basic body type ones.

No. 505403

I'm being a little insecure. Slept with the guy I've been seeing on the third date. He's 5 years younger than me and a virgin. Best believe the latter was obvious haha but at least his dick was nice and he was willing to eat out despite not knowing what the hell he was doing. He's cute, he's got a good job, a clean apartment, and he's willing to treat me right by picking me up and never asking me to pay.

I would have preferred to have waited since we haven't talked yet about what we are, but it felt right in the moment. I enjoyed myself, he even watched a few episodes of one of my favorite shows. We spent the entire night cuddling and fooling around. I let down some major guard in staying over since I'm breaking out pretty badly and I didn't even have my stuff to wash my face. I was more than a little nervous about him seeing my face this morning.
Everything's been fine. He takes me out on thoughtful and expensive dates, and we never stop talking and laughing when we're out. We talk about our future dates and plans too. We've said we like each other.

I just view myself so horribly that I'm expecting the other shoe to drop any minute now. Usually when guys get sex from me that's when they pull away and ditch the effort, if not outright tell me they don't actually want relationships. Or I get so frustrated at being treated coldly that I'll ask and men hate having to directly answer that so they just tell me no to shoo away my sad ass. I don't get the impression that he's like that, but my mind is being irrational and wanting to put up emotional walls to protect myself in anticipation for the worst.

And the worst? I've got nothing on him to tell myself if he disappoints me that he's a shit. My only minor gripe is that he doesn't initiate texting unless to ask for a date, but even that isn't a flag as he's just genuinely not interested to be on his phone. He doesn't have social media. He likes games but he agrees with me that video game obsession in men is cringe. He let me go through his phone for music, and whenever we go out he puts it aside and never gets or sends any texts. When he did once, it was a joke from his coworkers group chat and he showed it to me.

I just can't accept it. So instead I choose to stew crying in my room waiting for awful news and for this to not work out.

No. 505405

File: 1579475123264.jpg (57.91 KB, 749x694, 2988fj.jpg)

I'm having laparoscopy surgery tomorrow to remove an ovarian cyst and it'll probably go just fine but I'm getting really anxious now and probably won't get more than a few hours of sleep since I have to get up so early. My boyfriend seemed mad in text that I spent yesterday with some friends despite us eating in town on Friday. He wanted me to come over to his house this weekend but I said I didn't want to sleep away from home this weekend due to the surgery. He hasn't even sent me a good luck wish for tomorrow. One of my best friends did though - she asked to visit me after the op weeks ago and still wants to. Love her so much.

No. 505408

I agree, and >>505372 is definitely a PULL user.

No. 505422

File: 1579479223016.jpg (16.99 KB, 300x300, 300px-Crying_Cat_with_paw_up.j…)

I'm sure it'll be fine, anon! Good luck though, sounds spoopy

No. 505433

I’m so, so tired. Everyday I try to keep going for my bf, for my family, for my friends. But it’s hard because no one ever thinks about me when they get mad at everything, or when they scream (which absolutely triggers me) or…when they just don’t care. I’m exhausted because I seem to be the one who always wants to help fix things that aren’t even my business to start with and when I don’t do it, I feel terribly guilty because it seems people always expects me to do it anyway.
I’m just pathetic.

No. 505438

holy shiT I want a glow up. I’m a 20 y/o khhv and I’M SICK OF IT! The idea of going on tinder scares me cause I’m an idiot and still living in my hometown, so I wouldn’t want anyone to see me on it. I’d like to meet someone naturally but I feel socially retarded and don’t go out. I just want to be hot af and have a cute boyfriend who won’t judge me for never being with anyone. Please tell me I’m not alone girls.

No. 505469

File: 1579499713506.jpg (20.95 KB, 720x506, 0b8c3c3a-9d6b-4b74-a0fd-d8bb64…)

>want to get another ear piercing
>there's only one piercer in town, others are like 1-2 hour drive away
>am sensitive to surgical steel
>they don't have titanium in the shop
>they don't allow to bring in your own jewelry to be pierced

I had my second lobe pierced last April and the stupid thing still hasn't healed. I wish I could go somewhere else to get it done but my work hours don't really allow it and just fuck all of this

No. 505471

How old is he anon? You probably have nothing to worry about, but if he's too young he could have commitment issues down the line.

No. 505490

It happened years ago now, but at random times I'll get super annoyed thinking about how when I was sexually assaulted, no one apart from one girl and my brother truly believed me. It's one of the worst feelings in the world to be framed as a liar when you're not.

When I was a child and it happened my mum told me I was making it up, and then later as a teenager it happened again. A lot of girls had a crush on him, so he just had to go 'no she's lying lol' and they all believed him. Even when I told people and they acted like they DID believe me, they were still very friendly with him. It just seems like no one truly cares about things, everyone pretends. I've gotten myself away from those people now, but it was a really eye opening experience, to say the least. It's hard not to hold resentment over it. I just wonder why I get these feelings at completely random times. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense.

No. 505495

>In the end, we shit on guys here but this site proves that we can be as cruel as guys.

Of course we can. What are you, some kinda sexist?

No. 505499

Anons here will call you out on your shit. They're smarter than you realize. I was in a rough patch when I found this site, and got banned and told I was a stupid fucking idiot god knows how many times. And they were right, and I listened, and my life is a thousand times better for it.

Most girls won't give you an honest criticism, they'll lie to save face and seem nice, wow you look so great in that outfit, let's all support each other; then make fun of you afterwards. They won't tell you that your makeup looks like shit and your eyeliner is crooked, they don't help, they just giggle and nod.

I love that people are honest here. It's a breath of fresh air.

No. 505500

Anyone who thinks this place is “as bad as 4chan” is a newfag, like we are way more spiteful to other anons but we don’t post revenge porn, child porn, dox people or anything like that. You obviously have no idea the degeneracy that still plagues 4chan to this day. If we want to call each other worthless sacks of shit for hanging out with pedos or bullying 15 yr olds then what’s so bad about that?

No. 505501

File: 1579514042129.gif (911.01 KB, 500x280, Kw.gif)

I just realized I only have 3 years of work experience despite being almost 25. I started looking for wotk the second I was done with high school at 19. Jesus fuck I wasted almost 3 years just SEARCHING for work. Fuck. That's quite the shock now.

No. 505505

So I was the anon who has mentioned twice before about my sister being sexually abusive toward me when I was a child. I finally directly confronted her about it and got a clearer answer and apology for what happened. I knew that my sister had been groomed and abused as a child by an older man when she was younger but I did not realize how serious and painful it had been since she never really talked about it. She told me that she completely forgot about her abuse toward me and likely blocked it out of her memory. There was a time in her life where she was heavily abusing drugs to try to forget the painful memories associated with her abuse. It nearly cost her life due to how depressed and suicidal it had been.

I found out some seriously horrific things about her abuse though. The worst is how inappropriate and victim-blaming our parents' reaction was. They knew who the abuser was and even fucking visited his parents and confronted him and his entire family about it but for some goddamn reason never called the cops. Instead, my sister claimed that they blamed her for seeing men and having a 19-year-old boyfriend at 12 years old. It made complete sense why my sister was so goddamn angry toward my parents for maybe a better part of 15 or so years. They had the ability to stop further abuse for her and seek justice for it but instead, they claimed that they were too busy to since they both worked and had to financially support us. My parents were immigrants who came from a conservative and very uneducated country that finds sexuality taboo which is the only possible explanation for why they fucked up so badly.

I don't know if I should go on anymore but I REALLY wish this guy were dead or in jail. It has been too long ago at this point though and he likely suffered no consequences for abusing a child. I wish I knew exactly who he was but my sister likely doesn't want to revisit the pain anymore.

No. 505506

Agreed. Not sure where they come from, though. There are many Reddit style posts and obvious scrotes posting here increasingly, too. It makes me visit lolcow less often despite having been here for years. I really dislike how "board etiquette" is being ignored and how men are lecturing farmers with their bullshit.

No. 505510

Nta, but I noticed that some of the cows are getting posted on r/instagramreality and it might have to do with onion getting posted on other subs too

No. 505515

I just want to kill myself but I have tried before and failed.
My depression is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend, friends, as well as taking over other aspects of my life. I have done all the therapy, I have done meds, I am just so tired of being miserable.

I did a stupid thing because I'm insecure and now I can't stop dwelling on it. I just feel like no one loves me. Life is pointless anyway. I've been drinking so much to numb myself. I get upset when I wake up from sleep. I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm even trying to say anymore. I am toxic and humiliating and need to end it.

No. 505516

pull admin is stepping down

No. 505517

That's not bad, anon. Lots of people take breaks after getting out of school. Lots of college kids don't start working until they're graduated. Just be glad you don't have anything getting in the way of work, if you're not in college. A lot of employers like when you don't have to worry about schooling.

No. 505520

I agree but I also disagree. There is also a thing on this board about anons wrongly accusing anons of being scrots. I don't doubt men are shitting up this board but then again we still have that

No. 505541

You can often tell who is a scrote by the the phrasing they use and the topics they debate. Take for example >>>/g/131144 – a farmer was telling her story about how her ex boyfriend tried manipulating her and later started e-stalking her and doing other weird shit. This other anon comes to reeeee about "you and a million other girls" wrongly accusing POOR INNOCENT MEN of abuse. His scrote is showing, his answer was inappropriate and what even is that post format. I agree that scrotes will always lurk here, but I really hate that they don’t even try to hide it anymore and that it has no consequences at all.

No. 505545

File: 1579539650708.jpeg (183.46 KB, 718x718, F54142C7-741D-4F51-9410-BA6EB3…)

I am so tired of living with my abusive piece of shit mother. If I have one more fight with her I'm probably going to have a stomach ulcer, my entire body is in pain every time it happens and my abdomen feels like it's about to rupture. I have no privacy and no respect, and I can't afford to move out as of yet, so it's constant torture. Shit just overwhelms me to no end, her meathead fiancée who can't think for himself is now mocking and verbally abusing me, making me feel even worse.

No. 505546

He's 23 and just finished college, he got placed in a good government job as soon as he graduated and he thinks he'll go back for an advanced degree.
I'm 28, I have up to a master's but my degrees are useless. I get by right now in an office job where at least on the outside it looks like I have a dignified life.

I haven't know him long enough to see if he's as committed as he says, and that's why it was a mistake to have slept with him even if he's religious and a virgin. And at any rate, we definitely haven't had the bf/gf talk yet. I can't help but think I've fucked up everything and how I should start moving on and seeing someone different.

I'm just tired of the dating game.

No. 505552

There was 1 a few months ago in an online grooming thread, being really shitty to anons talking about abuse they suffered as young teens from men 18+ and saying they asked for it, should take responsibility etc. The tone was brazenly demeaning in a way only the most narcissistic women are. It may or may not have even been a Male but they where so, so fucking shitty. I mean what are people gonna get out of “smearing” someone on an anon image board where they don’t even leave the persons name or anything? The fuckwad anon you’re mentioning called the poor girl “lazy” because she didn’t want to go into detail about his behaviour, which would have been incriminating anyway. Honestly If you don’t believe an anon post about someone’s abuse then don’t fucking comment, ffs, these scrotes think that they can never possibly be wrong.

No. 505558

Jesus christ im so paranoid. I went to go set myself up at school to do work before class and I think what I spotted on my backpack was a lice?? It was small and clear and I think it resembles what the pictures are showing me on google. Im so fucking pissed and scared. Im going to ask my mom to look through my hair tonight. I flicked it away but im paranoid that it wasnt the only one or where I even picked it up from aside from the busy bus i just rode to school. Im pissed some nasty ass person could have possibly given me this problem when im so busy.

No. 505565

Don't sabotage anything before it starts just because you've had bad experiences in the past.
This is a new person and a new relationship.

No. 505569

If you don't dump him in 5 seconds, you are the retard.
If not and if you want to be sadistic, shame him in public, ie. after using the restroom when he's about to touch someone / something /eat ask out loud: "did you wash your hands dear? I know you always forget! Are you sure?" Men hate to have their ego /image bruised in public.
Treat him like a fucking baby since he's acting like one.

No. 505570

Have your mom check your hair but have you googled bugs that look a lot like lice? Maybe it was an imposter

No. 505571

Oh really. Just ignoring the 100s of obvious racebait, schoolshooter, sexism, genociding threads on /pol/ and pol-lite boards on 4chan is NOTHING compared to le ebil lolcow bitches being meeean


No. 505575

She’s upset because she outed herself as a pickme on XX and got torn a new asshole for it.

No. 505578

My thoughts exactly. I stopped entertaining that anon days ago, she's just out to morph lc into a space to mercilessly bitch about an underage rival and wants to fight and label anyone who disagrees with the way she's handling it as anti-woman. I have secondhand embarrassment from typing that sentence.

No. 505579

She seems like a genuine female but she argues a lot like a smug pseudo intellectual memer Male, like “you are grossly misinformed, I didn’t call her a fat bitch, I said he is behaving like an overweight female dog. Learn to read, type, and reason exactly as I do or you’re a moron”

No. 505604

She may just have an aggro/masculine way of typing from the pickme mentality and surrounding herself with men while shunning the company of women.
I think a lot of women pick up on male habits when they've isolated themselves with them. Especially in digital places.

No. 505630

File: 1579558880317.png (151.61 KB, 458x458, d911e853-ec90-487c-8779-fa0704…)

lol i'm listening to my dad yell at my mom while he sits at her computer because she can't figure out how to move her photos off her phone

i offered to help because i am not only a tech literate zoomer but also a third year computer science major but he got really angry and told me he doesn't need my help lmao. why are men like this tho? trying to program in my room while listening to him yell incorrect things about "THE CLOUD" is getting tiresome, let me help so you can shut up

No. 505662

I hate myself so much!
I'm fucking useless, I'm sitting here at midnight instead of studying for my exam that I have in two days (haven't even opened a book yet) and the anxiety is KILLING ME LOL.
Apart that, another thing I hate about myself is how fucking DISGUSTINGLY FAT I let myself be again. I lost around 20 kilos 2 years ago and I gained it all back in the past few months. I seem to be just stress-eating and binging all the fucking time. All I do is sit here with anxiety and eat and let myself look disgusting lol
I don't have a job, all I'm supposed to do is study, and yet I seem to not even be able to do that.

No. 505663

I keep tossing myself at options that I don't care about and I don't know why. All I want to do is make my art and die. I can't be bothered to care about living properly anymore.
College? nah. job at a local factory? nah. making a business out of my art? can't even do that right. I feel so utterly useless. I can't appease anybody in my family. especially myself.

No. 505665


anon are you me? im writing a cv to send to i dont even know who just so my mother wont think im useless. i dont want to disappoint her but i really dont care. i just want to draw and write.

No. 505668

it's a possibility. Do you also feel like you waste everybody's time when you go "yeah I totally know what I'm doing."? I'm so used to lying to my family it doesn't feel like anything anymore.

No. 505669

absolutely, i also feel very judged,guilty and embarassed when people ask what i do for a living.

No. 505672

The lady that did my instacart order refunded half of my 10 items. For two of them she picked random substitutes, so I re-choose the ones I had approved, then she just refunded them, and then refunded 3 other items. I have a really hard time believing all 5 of those items were out of stock! I don't want to sound like a Karen, but she really did a terrible job.

No. 505674

Just confirmed how less I mean to one of my most loved friends to me. Even if they don’t even mean it for me to feel this way, I saw something I shouldn’t have and now I can’t stop thinking about how much I do for them and get nothing in return. I don’t do things to get anything back, I’m not like that but for once it would be nice if people think of me as a first option and not the one who’s always there.
And I can’t say anything because of course they would get pissed and defensive and idk I can’t be bothered anymore to explain myself when I well know what I feel is real.

No. 505680

Do the shoppers get a percentage of the total price or a set price or how long it took them to shop? To me it sounds like they're just trying to get the least amount of items and get paid the most lol.

No. 505682

One of my copes was telling myself that I am worthy of the first option, I just have to put myself around people who will acknowledge and reciprocate.
These friends–while I don't think they do it consciously to be evil–are prioritizing others and you're not on the priority list. Life ebbs and flows, people distance and grow apart. Again, that doesn't mean they're demons and you can't be friends, just…learn to rely on them a little less and don't become their useful idiot/simp. Be a little less available. For holidays and birthdays send something thoughtful like a card with well wishes, but don't stress it and don't spend money you'd regret.
You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. People show you the terms of your relationship through their actions, loud and clear.

No. 505685

I'm a bpdfag and while I've improveseen tremendously, I just get really tired of feeling like a crazy person sometimes, hence the vent post. I'm grateful that I don't have explosive emotional reactions to literally every fucking thing anymore. It was exhausting living that way. So I know I can beat this completely someday, because my "moments" happen so infrequently compared to the past. Just… fuck. I do DBT a lot so I know very well exactly how irrational I'm being, but in the moment it's like I'm completely overtaken by my emotions. It's just so intense and painful, and I become convinced that this moment is the worst I've ever felt, and things will never get better, then maybe an hour or so later and I'm over it, filled with shame, regret, embarrassment, and self-loathing. Like: "Really, Anon? This shit again? You KNOW better."

I'll be back to feeling proud of myself and my progress tomorrow. Tonight I'm having a little self-pity party.

No. 505687

Every time I decide to go on Bumble or Her, I just get so fucking disappointed. The bare minimum that I want is someone who doesn’t drink or smoke. Why is that so fucking hard? Fuck even trying to find a cute butch on top of that.

I get so sad sometimes when I think about dating and I’m so turned off from it because no one will ever be as perfect or match my expectations and wants/needs like my ex did. I know I should let it go but FUCKKK I CAN’T EVEN FIND SOMEONE WHO DOESNT SMOKE OR DRINK!!!!!!!

No. 505690

why do they have to not drink or smoke? most people are perfectly functional drinking and smoking. good luck finding someone who doesn't drink occasionally.

No. 505692

Nta but I can understand not wanting to date a smoker. If the person is functional I don't see why them drinking occasionally would matter, unless you had poor experiences with alcohol/ism in general or something.

No. 505693

You might have to define you're looking for someone who's straight edge.

No. 505695

Good idea but tbh someone who defines themselves as straight edge is usually a wholly different beast from someone who simply doesn't drink/smoke

No. 505697

Thank you for your words anon, you got me all emotional there hahaha, I think you read my mind about the birthday thing…it just sucks right now because I did things with consideration and I feel stupid afterwards.
And you’re right. There are people out there who can and would appreciate us as we deserve, just because the people who surround me right now can’t see how much I do for them, it doesn’t mean it’s not there or I’m inferior…

No. 505699

i was told i was a horrible person and was too hard on my brother because my grandma made the decision that we will soon be kicking him out because of him refusing with his alcoholism. he does have a place to stay with this decision as he barely is here anymore.

my other family outside of my grandma, dad, stepmom and i (aka the people who are housing him and trying to prevent this from continuing) are severely enabling him. does not stop w/ his friend group either. whom i also know and know that they do not have limits on what they do.

obviously there has been a lot that lead to this but i can't believe i was told this by someone who knows my own past addictions and the people i have lost or am unable to speak to due to addiction. i am so torn apart.

i tried to help my brother. i tried to give support. i offered so much support i shouldn't have. he has always been very hateful towards me. this is the same thing that happened with him living at my dads. so its no surprise. the enabling by other family and his friends is too strong that anything we do has been demonized as he then uses us financially. this is my grandma's choice and i support it. i live with her to help her with her daily life as she has some disabilities due to age. he just lives here when he cant stay at a friends or my sister's house after a party..

i am so torn apart but being told i dont care and am being too hard after the last 2 years of trying to keep my brother from getting worse? on top of our efforts being compromised? then being told this by someone who is a close friend out of no where?
my other friends do agree w/ the decision as they know about how much we have done to try to help. they dont think i am being hard on him and thought it was really weird they said that. along w/ the fact i am also currently going through the process of pressing charges on my mom (his biggest enabler) for stealing a medication.

i am so torn in pieces. i feel like a scum bag but i can only do so much now. i cant stop crying or feeling like i am giving up on him. yet, i know that i can not allow him to continue to not only use me financially but my grandmother as she doesnt have all the time in the world left. i just feel so bad cuz its my little brother and i have done so much. my dad has done so much more then i have. yet, we are out of options.

rehab has been an option but he refused it. psych wards only make him came back out and do weird shit. he does have mental health issues and he does have medications but he does not take them. he has a therapist but rarely goes unless he is forced to. he's mean, aggressive and will literally call people names to their faces. he's even threatened me. its just not my brother anymore..

i have seen many families torn apart by addiction and even more torn apart by the enabling of addictions despite the addict refusing help and abusing the family in many ways. many of my close friends have choose serious addictions over family and friends. i want to help and i have helped in every i could. helping him when he is hung over, making sure he drinks water, talking to him when hes suicidal, talking about things with him and encouraging him to stop drinking, trying to keep him at home and not going out despite it rarely working and doing his school work so he doesnt get behind and just there so much i could list.. not even just the things i did too.. its just..

i feel like the worst person in the world right now?

No. 505708

>Don't accept his flimsy excuses if he comes back to you.
(i'm >>505113) Alas anons, I am weak; he contacted me today and said he had a family emergency which meant he was out of town and had no cell phone service. He could be bullshitting but he sounded genuine so I let it slide. He asked to meet with me this week and I said yes, but I still have mixed feelings over what happened. If I'm feeling bold enough I might tell him that if we continue seeing each other then I'm gonna need a bit more effort on his part in terms of communication, but I'm a bit of a doormat so who knows what'll happen.

No. 505711

My mom has been super creepy to me for a lot of my life and I didn't think anything of it til I became an actual adult and it got worse.

I think she's subconsciously like… flirting with me. And it makes me want to cry, scream, and run away.

She's made random comments about how I'd be the perfect spouse (because I helped her into bed when she had surgery + I'm physically strong so it wasnt hard), stepdad is an asshat who doesnt appreciate anything so I dunno if she's just projecting. But she made a comment about me looking so much like my dad bc she wanted to show me how to dance, and then was just being super creepy to the point I was leaning away, and not looking at her before she let go and I just ran upstairs.

(I'm her daughter, just by the way. And according to family, I actually look more like my aunt than my dad)

I can't move out because she's effectively trapped me here. Wouldn't let me get my license, which means I can't get a job because every place around here won't hire you without one, and ones closer to us don't need any new workers. I take commissions to offset and try and save up, but since I always end up buying groceries, or having expenses (i.e the cats need collars + tags, medicine, etc) I can't hold onto it for very long.

I'm saving some of my money right now to take the drivers test, and hopefully get a job so I can save more money + be out of the house. because i feel disgusting because of how she's been acting.

I feel trapped and scared.

No. 505712

First thought reading this: Who the fuck does this person think they are?

Seeing all that you've typed here, well, let's just say anyone commenting on this in fairness would NEVER say you are the horrible person or didn't try hard enough in this situation.
It sounds like you hold this person who said this to you in some kind of esteem to have taken it to heart, but don't. I don't believe this person came from at least a place of consideration for you for that to have been said. I'm still amazed.

Don't be sad anon. The truth is many people are either oblivious or naive about addict behavior, which alcoholism definitely is. You're a saint for having even stuck around to entertain addict shenanigans for as long as you did. Addictions ruin lives and can pull entire families into it. Even trained professionals struggle with helping many addicts. You've done everything possible, and no one else has the right to judge when they themselves aren't in your shoes being faced with such a difficult decision. Cowards.
I hope you can heal from the ordeal, it's about time you put your energies back into yourself.

No. 505715

Be on your guard and be strong with your boundaries anon. I could be wrong, but it sounds like she's testing the waters with what she can pull over on you. Rationally, there's no way she could believe you were comfortable so at this point she's doing these things for self serving reasons which if it isn't purposefully vile is, at minimum, disgustingly inconsiderate.

No. 505716

I'm doing my best to, it's just wildly, incredibly uncomfortable. She's done weird shit in the past (walking around naked after baths, honking my boob at one point when i was like 13, which registered at the time but i was so used to being abused/blamed for stuff I thought I was just overthinking and it was meant to be a joke) and as I've been losing weight, she's been making comments on how I'm going to have a sexy/rocking/hot body when I finish and im so wildly uncomfortable at this point i've considered just being homeless to get away from her.

it's not really sustainable so I'm mostly just apply vigorously to jobs and hoping to god one of them hires me despite no liscense so i can save up and escape.

No. 505734

thank you anon. this actually made me cry a lil to read. it hurt so much especially since the person is not only a close friend but someone who i even dated for nearly 3 years and currently wanted me to get back with them! it was so inconsiderate and hurtful then they even told me how it made them uncomfortable i was talking "like that" as if they did not know everything i have done for him or anything else that was going. i have no plans on speaking with them anytime soon. after they stopped replying i even told them to not speak to me if they could not handle the reality of my situation or try to tell me i was not allowed to feel the way i do about any of it.

his addiction started when he had just turned 16 and now he's 18.. it hurts to see that my own family is supplying a minor w/ alcohol along with his friends parents even enabling along with their own kids. i can only try to keep him at home and not at his friends but then he goes to my older sister's and drinks there along with my mom buying him weed!

i live in a area where addiction rates are so high on top of drug trafficking and i have many friends who began using hard drugs in high school. many people see alcohol addiction as just more okay and socially acceptable drugs. alcohol destroys people just as much. yet, its become so acceptable in some ways to drink a lot cuz "at least its not coke/heroin/meth/pills".

i have my own mental health issues and i also have so many things going on that, taking time to try to help my brother has made me fall behind on my own shit.

thank you.

No. 505739

same anon but talking with a friend made me think of this until now and now i feel mad not sad. a lil stupid i didnt think of it until now but
they still do a lot of acid, along with disappearing for like 2-4 days at a time and think its not a problem to do it
wack. they have no room to tell me this at all even more now.

No. 505762

god im so depressed. i miss when my bf still acted liked he loved me. i look at our old messages and cry. i reminded him that today is the day we’ve been dating for exactly one year and it seemed like he barely cared. he just said it was “cool” and that “one year is a long time.” this is starting to make me hate my life. i’ve talked to him on 3 separate occasions about me wanting him to be more loving and nothing changed. but i still have feelings for him and it would be so hard to break things off. i really feel so love-starved that it kills me inside

No. 505767

Get out now anon. I was you once, for six years. He's just not that into you. You can't change him, but you can find someone better. 1 year is nothing in the grand scheme of things

No. 505770

He lost his interest in you (not because of who you are but because men get tired of their new toys quickly) but is staying with you until he finds someone else because it's a comfortable situation for him. You should leave him even though I understand it's hard.

No. 505774

Y'all, I’m about to lose my shit.

How the hell do you get your mother to stop coddling their 23 year old son who is a piece of shit stoner who does nothing all day but sleep, smoke, and go to work for a few hours and cause shit in the house constantly?
Oh yeah! Not to mention we SHARE A ROOM BECAUSE HE DROPPED OUT OF UNI, and we live in a two bedroom house.
I’m 21. Sharing a bedroom. With a 23 year old. Who pisses in bottles because he’s too lazy to go downstairs.
He steals from my mums fiancée, causes fights, drinks in my room almost every night and knocks drinks over and breaks stuff, also has anger issues to the point he’s punched our dogs (which was caught in the camera we have in the house), and yet my mum does nothing about it, let’s him twist her arm for shit he wants off her and says “you’ll understand when you have kids”, like ?! This is a grown man! Not a child?! If I did half this shit I’d be long kicked out, what is with mother’s coddling their gross incel sons??? Seriously what can I do about this? She’s pushing us away for him and I’m becoming incredibly uncomfortable and stressed and it’s making my PTSD a lot worse because of the constant stress, I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown.

No. 505776

>I was you once, for six years.
What was the reason you stayed with him for 6 years anon? I’ve felt depressed and love-starved since April last year so I understand having trouble with leaving. I’m curious about your story.

>men get tired of their new toys quickly
I feel like this is what happened since after around 2-3 months is when he stopped acting like he loved me. It’s like right after the honeymoon phase he just became a different person. Reading his old messages breaks my heart so much because he used to say he’d “want to make me feel loved” but now he’s nothing like that. There are men who aren’t like this right? They’re just rarer?

No. 505778

I've dated a dude with asperger before that acted similarly. You need to get out, if you feel love starved after 1 year already, it's not going to get better.

No. 505779

Wait wow, you actually felt love starved 3 months into the relationship? You gotta get out. You are clearly not compatible.

No. 505781

Did you change in your behavior too?

No. 505784

You can’t make him grow up or his enablers stop enabling. All you can do is get yourself out as soon as possible and take the best care of yourself possible and expend as little energy on the man child as possible.
They’re too lazy and whiny to grow up, too coddled to realise they are a pathetic baby, too immature to be reasoned or shamed into doing anything.
He will make you the bad guy as soon as he’s bored or cranky if you try and help him. His enablers will not defend you.

No. 505802

just wanna get this off my chest, but I'm 20years old and going to lose my close family soon and I'm not prepared. My grandma, my dad, and my mom all have bad health, and my mom has 3-5years left if shes lucky, and im the only one who knows how bad her health is.

on top of all that I've been deceiving them all about various things and want to be honest with them before they die but it's so difficult.

my grandma doesnt know I'm in contact with my dad, my dad doesnt know most things about me (we didnt talk until I was 16), and I've been lying to my mom about the boy I like and my friends, and some of the situations I've been in because of them(she would worry) pretending to be a better and more innocent person than I am, my mom even let the boy stay over at her house and I pretended we're just friends and nothing happened

No. 505805

If they are ill it's kinder not to tell them stuff that isn't much to do with them and would just make them worry. You sound like a kind person. Just stay safe and don't do anything dangerous if you can help it.

No. 505825

I love this thread. It's so nice to have a space to just let things out anonymously, you know?
And some anons really do give good genuine advice. I'm just really thankful for lolcow tbh.

No. 505832

I mean if they for sure are going to die I don’t see the issue, you’re avoiding more stress and pain their difficult lives and by 20 you’re owed some privacy in your life too, like the stuff with your dad is really no one’s business.

No. 505838

I feel so ashamed at how much of a slow learner I am. Every time I go to a lecture at uni, I feel like all the information goes in one ear and out of the other. When I try to read the slides in my own time, I feel like I never understand wtf is going on. If I ask someone to explain shit for me, I just forget the next day. I'm so frustrated because I never used to have this issue and I am at a lose as to what I should do.

No. 505840

I'm like this too but maybe you're depressed. I know my attention span and grades would be better without depression and anorexia.

No. 505854

My really good friend hung himself early this morning. He lived next door and I saw them take the body out. Idk what to do with myself. He messaged me around midnight asking me if I was awake but I was asleep I just want a time machine so I could wake up and come down and comfort him or something. He was only 18 years old. I just feel numb

No. 505855

Oh shit, i'm so sorry for your loss. Are you ok, like are you safe and stuff?

No. 505861

I’m okay, I know I have to be strong for everyone around me. My partner was best friends with him for over a decade so I know I need to be strong for him. It just really hurts my heart feels like its sunk to the bottom of my stomach. I thought his mum died at first but a policewoman came into our house and told us what happened and I nearly vomited.

No. 505862

I hate my neighbors who let their dogs roam and poop in my yard. I walk my dog and pick up after her, why can't people have the same respect for other peoples property?

No. 505864

I also have that weird thing where I'm actually smart but as soon as I step into a school building I freeze up and can't learn or think. I wonder if being in crowds of people can affect some peoples learning abilities?

No. 505870

Are you feeling okay in terms of memory and mental clarity in general and it's just school affecting you like this? If you notice you have brain fog or are struggling to absorb or retain information in general it might be worth going to a doctor, maybe getting some blood work done, see if your nutrition and everything is okay.

No. 505871

I used to get really anxious about studying and do it really poorly but now it's completely different.
My parents were pretty strict about school so I think I consciously and unconsciously thought of studying as something I was forced to do to please them, and when I feel forced to do something I don't want to do I just half ass it and avoid it as soon as I can. I also didn't really know what I wanted to do for a job so there was no clear goal to to aim for except "study hard!!!1"
Now I have a specific career in mind that I want to do so I've been studying the type of material I would need for it and for certifications etc and I've been enjoying studying for once. I don't feel guilt anymore because I'm either studying exactly what I would need for a given qualification or I'm just reading/listening to podcasts out of interest. i don't feel trapped because i know that at the end of the day, no one is forcing me to study and i could just continue doing my unskilled job forever, but i'd rather get qualified for a different job so i'm studying out of my own free will.

tldr I think it really helps to feel like studying is "yours" and focus on your own enrichment and benefit, not just doing it out of obligation or guilt.

No. 505879

Take some adderall lmao

Doesn't sound like you are smart. Or maybe you are one of those ~gifted but lazy~ people.

No. 505880

I've come to the realization that I actually hate the ~sensitive shy boy~ type of guys I dated in the past. I hate how men online and irl shame women for preferring masculine, responsible men who are capable of controlling their feelings, because manly men are often seen as abusive. In my experience, the sensitive type is definitely more straining and abusive than the masculine one. They need your constant attention, they require enormous amounts of emotional labour (while not giving any back), they expect you to behave like their literal mother, they are prone to addictions (porn addiction especially), they are quick to blame others for their own shortcomings, and they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. When you call them out on their childish behaviour they are upset because "muh women only want emotionless brutes, am I not allowed to vent?". Jesus.

Currently I'm engaged to a very masculine guy, and for the first time in my life, I feel happy and relaxed in relationship. I don't need to tell him to vacuum, wash dishes, he never gets upset for no reason, he doesn't waste all his time watching porn or crying over some rejection he's experienced ten years ago. ~Sensitive~ men are trash

No. 505882

File: 1579632648988.png (243.02 KB, 960x960, 61590ef361e033db606650c9b257a4…)

Imo you just need to find out what type of learner you are. For example, I don't attend lectures at all because they are useless to me, I always forget stuff people tell me, even in professional setting. But I almost never forget information I teach or write down after reading.

No. 505889

>spend a year helping my abusive alcoholic mother give up drinking
>now she's sober she's just an abusive narcissist instead

No. 505897

I couldn't stop fucking binge eating yesterday and now my jeans feel too tight and I feel like a fat fuck AAAAAA I HATE MYSELF

No. 505909

NTA, but according to this, I'm a visual, kinesthetic, auditory, stress, and copy learner.

No. 505910

I'm so sorry to hear that, anon. Please don't blame yourself. You can never turn back time. Instead, think of all the good things you did for him and be thankful. Please don't blame yourself.

No. 505918

>at office desk
>one plug in my ear for music while working, not wanting to be disturbed
>people flit around to chat up the older lady in cubicle across from me, not busy obviously
>some boomer male from downstairs strolls by
>tries to get my attention
>tells me he's sorry for late the other night
>I have no fuck all clue what he could be on about but it catches me off guard
>ask him if this was on Friday bc that's the only day I stayed late
>proceeds to explain how he had a mixup and had apparently addressed me when he thought it was a different office lady because of our hair color
>a frumpy woman in her 60s
>with hair completely different than mine

I hate old men.

No. 505938

I really want to try shoulder-length hair, but I have such an attachment to my long hair ahh. I want to get out of my comfort zone, and I feel like getting a big cut might help, but I'm still hesitant.

No. 505939

Ever since I realized how wrong and damaging liberal feminism is I started seeing the world through completely different eyes, which is natural, but it's also fucking up most of my friendships, as my friends are hardcore libfems.
I just sit there everyday, listening to them talk about how much they hate men and how women are pressured to perform femininity but in the same breath they discuss how much plastic surgery they wanna get and cream themselves over shitty, mediocre men. I can see right through their bullshit and wonder how they're so oblivious to their cognitive dissonance.
It sucks to be a young, straight rad-leaning woman really. I sometimes wish I were like them so I wouldn't be the odd, no-fun outsider with unpopular opinions who ruins the mood every time by calling them out.

No. 505941

Sometimes I get randomly insecure about my personality and appearance, but I don't know why, because when I do interact with people I get complimented regularly on both of those things! So why am I insecure? It's stupid! Why do I even care? Feels like I'm aiming for perfection, but perfection is an impossible myth. Is it because of the good ol' societal pressure on women for us to be beautiful?

No. 505944

Preach sister. I'm so tired of the so called feminist gals who talk about how trash men are but want 10001 procedures to appease their mediocre scrote. These same expectations and standards they push on other women too so don't ever fall for the okey dokey tbh. also, you fall out of friendships all the time so try not to take it too personally even though it does indeed suck

No. 505947

I feel you anon. I was always (very) good in school but now in uni I seem to be downright retarded in comparison to the other students. We often have to quickly read some pages in class and then summarize them or answer questions and while I don't understand a single thing others are just so good at it. On top of that I live in an region where people speak with a strong dialect and so do I, but most students in my uni are from other parts of my country and therefore speak very properly which makes me feel like even more of a hick. While they're talking they casually throw in terms that I wouldn't even use in an academic paper, like how? Despite reading a lot my vocabulary is so simple and childlike.

I get the impression that others have way more free time than me, only start studying for exams a couple days prior and still get good grades while I struggle so hard. Today I got the results of a very big exam and what the teacher wrote was just devastating, e.g. "you're lacking basic knowledge"… I started studying half a year prior, I really thought I did my absolute best, yet I just barely passed.
This is even more sad since as a child/teen I always thought that being smart was my thing. I might be a total loser in every other aspect of life but at least I'm a good student. Now I don't even have this. And as a result I of course lost all motivation too. And I can't fucking concentrate, I'm just daydreaming all the time.

No. 505970

anon go for it! Hair can always grow back, it's worth experimenting unless you are frying it with bleach all the time imo

No. 505981

I'm really tired of my boyfriend asking me for nudes. I don't feel comfortable sending them, as I've had friends who were blackmailed over them (one threatened to post her pics and info on /b/ if they broke up) when their relationships fell apart. I'm ~okay~ sending bra or lingerie pics, but even those are not enough for him, I guess?

Like I can understand having a high sex drive, and we are LDR so it's not like we can do things physically, but I'm getting real tired of this. I'm planning to see him in the Summer, and lose my virginity to him but idk. Starting to have doubts because I feel like my boundaries aren't really being respected.

We did speak about this and he said it's about him wanting to desire and also be desired (he's sent me images/vids of himself), which I do understand. It just feels like since we started dating things have become more sexual, and I'm unused to this sort of stuff because I am a virgin while he isn't.

No. 505990

It's a new semester and I'm already back to snacking and procrastinating out of anxiety. It's not that deep and the workload isn't much at the moment but I still keep stressing myself out more but putting off work.

No. 505994

I can't read in my house because my parents are so fucking loud

No. 506002


seriously, he's not respecting your boundaries LDR. He's not gonna respect them in person and you're gonna get assaulted.

No. 506005

It is my last semester of college/university and I am struggling more than ever before i don't know what to do or if I will make it. My school has a requirement where you have to take 2 semesters of the same language and an intermediate 1 course i took in a language at a community college in like 2012 transferred in and instead of being an intelligent person and starting a new language from the beginning and getting those two semesters out of the way I chose to take intermediate 2 like a dumbass for my final semester and it's only week 2 and I'm already cramming in so fucking much and feeling like I want to die and that I will fail but I need this class to fucking graduate. I also missed the first week of classes because i was recovering from surgery. I also commute to school and my family and I share 1 care it takes 35-40 mins without traffic and 1 hr 30 mins with traffic. Also like I said i need this class to fucking graduate but I live with my family who makes my life as living hell. I take xanax and normally 1.5mg helps but I've been taking 1 mg because 1.5 is a lot but tonight I caved and took 1.5-2mg in total and usually it knocks me out but it hasn't and now I'm scared I'm going to get addicted.i feel suicidal every day. I have no friends due to 1 car and a controlling environment and only a LDR bf. I have no hope but I need to get out of my shitty environment but I seriously don't know if I can make it. I am so completely burned out and this is the first time in school i have truly felt this way because of the language course. I also don't want to spend an extra semester at school because of loans and already paid $150 for the stupid language class textbook. I'm really thinking i should kill myself because I feel like i will never escape it will never get better and i will fail because of my mental health and the language even though my gpa is like 3.8. Also yes the language professor knows it's been years since i took the language but she doesn't know how long it has been and yes i know i am super fucking dumb stupid and an idiot for doing this. Also I'm only taking 3 classes this semester but i dont know if I can just fucking do it. I also haven't had to take tests in like several semesters because my degree courses are pretty much 95% project based

No. 506009

File: 1579673073274.gif (1.42 MB, 540x412, 1574653000769.gif)

I'm a monumental fuck up at making friends, every single time I talk (in either voice or text) in this one discord server I just end up annoying everyone and ruining the image of me even more. I'm just so unlikable and I don't know how to become more likable, I don't really know how to talk to people and I end up saying really cringe and embarrassing things that I'm made fun of for. I have autism so it really hinders me socially, I'm constantly struggling to make friends and when I do have them, I struggle to keep them. I'm so lonely and I feel so isolated and disliked, I wish I could just kill myself.

No. 506015

Anon i feel you. Lately i don't have any motivation to communicate with people, but every time i do, i feel like i'm pretending to be another person through the whole convo, trying to be as normie as i can and as a result it's extremely boring to me. Yet people still find me weird for whatever reason, even if i'm just copying them. Plus they're so shallow for most part, honestly, can't bring myself to care how their day went, let alone continue to put effort into being liked. Cause ok, you try so hard to fit in, but what do you get in return? It's like you're being done a favour, like, here bitch, you can have some of our precious attention. Yeah, great, i've been tearing my ass apart trying to be liked, and all i get is this???
I wanna have a group of friends, but i have no idea how to do it

No. 506020

File: 1579674906616.jpg (29.19 KB, 722x349, 1531739730306.jpg)

This is going to be very NSFL but i really need to vent about this shit i can't anymore. So a cousin died yesterday on a car crash, they were just two years younger than me (18 yo), i didn't talk to them that much anyways but they were nice and i remember them. The car crash was so bad it seems my cousin was kinda disfigured so they had to re-work their face, and for some fucking reason somebody took a picture of the result at the funeral and my mom SHOWED IT TO ME, holy fuck i want to die wtf? I have seen loads of fucked up shit (extreme gore, ect) but this is genuinely one of the most terrific things i have ever seen, it looked so…uncanny, i just can't describe it and i don't want to. I'm shaking just by writing this and i don't want to sleep even though i know it can worse my nightmares, almost all lamps are on because i'm this terrified. Wherever you are bro i'm sorry they did this to you, what happened to you was very tragic and you deserved your privacy, also i'm sorry i couldn't go to your funeral, i have some mental conditions and it could have made things worse, rest in peace.

No. 506023

Sorry for your loss but wow idk why they didn't just have closed casket funeral, I think that's more dignified than getting botched postmortem. Maybe try to remember them as they were alive?

No. 506024

Ten years later I still have nightmares about my dads face from his open casket. This is the first time I admitted this.

No. 506036

>why they didn't just have closed casket funeral, I think that's more dignified than getting botched postmortem
That was obviously the best option but i guess their family wanted to keep things """traditional""". Thanks for your words.
Well at least you're letting it out, you should seek help btw maybe it could help you to cope.

No. 506037

jesus christ anon. i've seen pictures of complete strangers who were disfigured after car accidents and it disturbed me deeply, I can't imagine seeing a picture of a relative in the same situation. I'm sorry you're going through that, rip anon's cousin.

No. 506041

When I was younger, sometimes I used my asthma to get out of doing physical stuff
Usually it was just stuff like running a lot, and I rarely did it when I had my medicine, but one (un)lucky day the stars aligned
My medicine wasn't quite working and in PE there was something that I'd refer to as a work out day. Where instead of playing a sport, we ran laps and did crunches and all that.
So, with my medicine wonky and a presence of physical exertion, I was able to sit out that day

Except it wasn't a work out day–the laps and the crunches were just a warm up. Eventually they started playing this really cool looking dodgeball game where 1 team was a runner and the other was a pelter
Basically, you had to run down one side of the court and not get hit by balls, then run back down the other side, sorta in a U shape

I actually slowly walked my way over there and tried to jump into the festivities, but I was chewed out for skipping the warm up exercises

Here's the kicker
For the rest of the 6 years I still had to do PE, the game was literally never played again
I don't know why, there were even periods where I thought we might play it, but that specific iteration of the game was never played

I'm still kinda mad about it, but it's not like I didn't deserve it

No. 506042

I prefer it here because you can have an actual argument here
I'm on /co/ all of the time and things break down the second you imply you disagree

or worse, don't also hate the oppressed group they decide to shit on
God, it's so annoying to have to actively duck and dodge bullshit over there, just to share an opinion

I don't feel that here
I've been on 4chan for at least a decade and I honestly wish I came to this site sooner
I'm sure we can be cruel here, but 4chan gave up on caring about antagonizing people, you just get the worst, low effort, bullshit and it's constant

No. 506043

Not alone, but I don't think that's something you can't do if you try

On the not of seeing people you know–it kinda sucks, but they probably don't care about you. I was a weirdo in highschool and it's probably weird for me to do this, but I like or swipe right on anyone I know
On hinge, I even leave little notes saying stuff like "great to see you" or "you look well"

It's cathartic for me to just not care about people I used to have to constantly care about

No. 506044

>>506042 this. Also, there's lots of spam on 4chan, here it's more organized and obnoxious/mental anons get banned.

No. 506055

Why so mean? You got Autism?

No. 506061

File: 1579691463745.gif (831.95 KB, 500x281, Lx8dPkE.gif)

I've been having suicidal thoughts again.However, the fact that I consider my body good enough for organ donation in case I kill myself(which usually leaves them mostly useless) and that I'm afraid how people around me will react, I know I care enough about myself and others not to do something crazy

One of my most ridiculous concerns is my sister taking advantage of whatever erratic behaviour I'm tempted to act upon.At the very early times of my depression and my therapy sessions, I found a note my sis wrote to her friends about her being in therapy,and,guess what,she wasn't going back then.My sister has a big problem with lies and being selfish and,while I care about her,I'm too tired to deal with her(or most people in general).I'm afraid that if I even lash out again,she will use my breakdowns to say a pity story for herself and get sympathy or even try to do stupid shit herself to "copy" me.I can't even discuss how I feel with her,not only because she will be dismissive or judgemental,but also because I'm afraid of giving her "ideas".

I wish I could be more honest with how I feel but sometimes it is either too depressive or people just don't get it.And having my sister potentially "appropriating" my mental illness for attention is such a stupid yet concerning worry.I don't want to be an "inspiration" and then get to feel guilty on top of everything else

No. 506068

When my ADHD meds wear off in the evening I instantly fall into a crushing depression. I hate it so much, sometimes I just cry for hours because of how awful I feel. I just wish I could just be a normal person for real and not for as long as the Vyvanse lasts. I want to be happy for real and I don't think I ever will be.

No. 506072

>after having so many problems with myself, decide to go to therapy
>Have autism, but also a variety of other problems like body dysmorphia
>The therapist spends an hour basically saying that she can't help autism despite me trying to bring up a variety of my stresses and issues
>Wanted to pay the copay ASAP because my money has been yoyoing but for whatever reason, when I've been sick for the past week and lost a lot of money from not working + paying for medical bills, the therapy center decides to come out of the blue to talk about my copay
>Boyfriend lost my credit card and I had to cancel an appointment with financial aid because I didn't have gas to go to the office an hour away

No. 506073

Not sure if it's a 2020 resolution thing or if people are just boycotting, but I've noticed Facebook is way less active right now. No one is on or posting anything. Reminds me of what happened to Myspace a year or so before other platforms outran it.

If it's true that's fine. After Facebook I don't think I'll be keeping up with non anonymous social media anymore though. I'm really sick of it.

No. 506077

My shit idiot cat with asthma, who has never showed interest in going outside ever, for some reason darted out the door while I was coming back from the petrol station at midnight. It was storming bad and pouring and I was terrified I'd lose him and then he'd get lost and have an asthma attack, so I just grabbed him and tossed him back in. Of course he wasn't thrilled with me seizing him so roughly so he bit the shit out of my hand. I'm not mad at him for biting, I'm just happy I got him in safe and hes not out in the cold rain needing his inhaler, but fuck it hurts. I cleaned it really well with iodine and put an antibacterial bandage on it so hopefully it doesnt get infected.

No. 506086

File: 1579703161727.jpg (44.3 KB, 750x534, IMG_20191128_225353.jpg)

I always feel like a fucking weirdo for having the lowest libido till i get manic, then i feel like i could fuck anyone but i never do because i have self control but boy is life a fucking hell. Cheers, anons, love you guys.

No. 506090

I did it!! And I love it! I think I want to go even shorter, honestly. Thanks for your encouragement anon!

No. 506091

My mom is so nasty she doesn't even wash her hands properly after taking a shit she just spends 1 second on it and then when I comment on it she claims she washed her hands under the shower already yeah right and she doesn't wash her hands before handling food either she's spreading her nasty germs everywhere even her phone is always super greasy and nasty and once there was a big chunk of saliva or snot on it when she gave it to me

No. 506093

I told my dentist that tooth with temporary filling feels weird, he was like "it's because it's not finished yet". Today half of my face is swollen, blister with puss formed. Of course it got infected lmao. Rip tooth.

No. 506106

I've had a chronic illness that pretty much has been like having the stomach flu or coming off heroin since 2016, so now I've been gaunt and had a BMI under 15 for almost four years and I look like fucking shit. (well meaning) people have given me info cards to rehab clinics and eating disorder support groups which just destrooooys the mood as I'm sitting there thinking my sweater looks nice. I stopped going outside shortly afterwards and became a NEET. Quit working at the hospital, never saw my friends again. Today I'm just tired of feeling this way again, I wish I could fix it or that medication helped more than it does. I just needed to type this all out, I fucking hate how sunken my cheeks look because it makes me look like I'm 90 years old. I had to repurchase all of my clothing. I just feel rather hopeless.

Also holy FUCK I made the mistake of posting a selfie back in 2017 on social media and so many anorexia fetishists crawled out from the cracks, I haven't had social media since. Men are truly creepy little things

No. 506110

I am so sick and fucking tired of playing emotional babysitter for 3 grown ass adults in their retirement age. You are supposed to be my (grand)parents, not the other way around.

No. 506134

Ugh I'm sorry you go through that. That sounds like hell. Is there anything that gives you physical relief from the symptoms?

No. 506144

Have you tried taking a very low dose of antidepressant with it? Or smoke tiny bit of weed/have a drink.

No. 506175

This is why I get pissed when people comment on someone's weight like they know what's going on. I'd be mortified to get handed information to a rehab just because I made the decision to go outside and be in public.
Sorry someone did that to you. Tbh I think shit like that is pretty self-righteous rather than well-intentioned.

No. 506187

That fucking sucks, anon. I'm sorry you have to go through that. It's like people lose all sense of respect whenever someone looks "different".

No. 506192

File: 1579728334197.jpg (80.42 KB, 660x535, how-to-make-arms-look-slimmer-…)

I literally would be happy if my arms weren't so fat. I'm okay with the rest of my body, but godamn my arms are chunky asf while my foreams are twigs. I gave myself an eating disorder & even when I was underweight my arms were still chunky, wtf am i doing wrong? Am I cursed with huge arms & a noodle body? Not only that, I made the mistake of believing the whole toning your arms workout!! My arms never got smaller, in fact they got bigger. Now i'm stuck with half assed muscle that doesn't seem to want to go away. God I know this is ridiculous and over dramatic, but I am so tired of wearing long sleeves and over sized jackets. I just want to have skinny arms & the option to wear any clothing without feeling insecure.

No. 506201

My 2c probably won't help how you feel, but I think every woman gets taken up a notch with a sleeve even if they've got twig arms.

Sleeveless and tube tops are overrated imo.

No. 506202

Petty but I'm not happy for my friends who will travel together to London.
We initially planned to go together, we were so excited because last time was a lot a fun.
Turned out I'm not available on the date they wanted to go so they took someone else to go with.
It's petty because I guess I shouldn't expect them to wait for me but idk. I wish we re-scheduled.

No. 506205

That would hurt anybody. Deep down it's hard to be happy for people who didn't really fight to make sure you were there being happy with them. Your feelings are valid.

No. 506206

are these supposed to be fat arms because I have chunky limbs that don't match my much thinner torso and even at 98 or so lbs mine look bigger to me than this, fml. her arms don't look chunky…

No. 506214

File: 1579732115381.png (53.1 KB, 256x256, upside-down-face.png)

>Anon you forgot to ask me if I wanted to try some
>Ok, do you want some?
I know it's rude to forget to offer someone something, but I just listened to a literal 10 minute rant on how my mom feels unloved because I forgot to ask if she wanted to try the taco sauce (which I offered to my dad and lil bro). I feel like she's on the edge from yesterday when I asked for help filing for a therapist for suicidal thoughts and I told them I didn't feel comfortable telling them why. My mom got mad at that and forced me to admit one reason was uni. She started yelling at me how it was because I was lazy and I wasn't in the best mood so I started crying from that. When she was done she asked for a hug and I told her I wasn't comfortable so that made her angry again so she started slamming the doors shut to calm down. I can see why something small would set her off today.
Also the conversation with her fixed nothing because she only told me 'study more' when I wanted to get a ADD diagnoses because it's come to the point I can't read without a looping 10 second timer telling me to stop day dreaming and if I don't calculate every moment of my life with a timer I waste hours on end. I tried to tell her I was studying, but she didn't seem like a mood for debating. She also now keeps on bringing up how College isn't for everyone around me.

No. 506216

Your mom is a manipulator who makes people feel bad and now she's salty that her targets don't wanna pass her the taco sauce lmaoooooo.

No. 506217

I'm happy the sperging has calmed down and that new threads and topics are getting bumped, things definitely feel less aggressive now
Thanks fellow journaling anons !

No. 506222

Thank you kind anon.

No. 506231

File: 1579736997527.jpg (62.84 KB, 748x602, 1578368832690.jpg)

There's nothing worse for my already dwindling self-esteem than only being able to attract the attentions of ugly, 40 year old men.
I wish I could write it off as being young and dumb and ergo a common target for this stereotype. But I'm in my late 20s and I bring a lot to the table, I'm educated, and I don't take shit. And yet I still get em. I guess my body might be that hideous and I have to accept these as my looksmatch until ugly and obese dudes my age decide I'm not so subhuman anymore, or until they accept that they will never be like ~the chads~ spinning women left and right. Barf. Dating is so fucking frustrating. If I had loving family and available friends maybe I wouldn't bother trying to fill the void. No matter how much I occupy my time with hobbies, volunteering, and distractions I still crave romantic love and companionship and intimacy.

No. 506253

I feel you, anon. It's gotten easier for me since I realized the relationship I want probably doesn't exist. Being alone is nice compared to being in a shitty relationship with someone you don't care about.

No. 506260

Can't wait for the extreme glam clown makeup trend to die, it's beginning to. So all these ig MUA's corporate shills can get a real job kek Effortless and subtle will always be what people go back to. Also, I watched Baby on Netflix recently. So refreshing to see students look like students, I see European productions embrace this. What the actual fuck is wrong Americans and the need to make everyone in teen dramas look like 28 years old alcoholics?

No. 506264

>guy I've been seeing for a few months asks me on a date
>roommates are out of town so I have my whole apartment to myself
>thinks this might be my chance to get some action
>Spend hours grooming and finding the perfect outfit
>Casually mentions my empty apartment during the date, trying to be subtle yet flirty
>Later he drops me of home…proceeds to give me a hug, goes "bye anon!", and leaves

At this rate I'm gonna die a virgin lol. I'm not actually upset that he's being a gentlemen and not just trying to fuck me at the first opportunity, but damn I'm sexually frustrated and can't believe I found the one guy in my town who likes to take things super slow. Most guys who approach me and my friends tend to move super fast and want sex immediately, so of course the one I actually like and am interested in is also the one who I can't even get a kiss on the cheek from.

No. 506270

I feel so fucking bad, but I went with my boyfriend so he can get his hair braided by his friend and her daughter's breath smelled so vile. I mentioned it to him as we were driving home because the smell lingered and made me feel so nauseous and he said "Oh God, her mom's hands smelled like actual poop. This is why I asked if my hair smelled. Imagine smelling that for an hour and a half." I could excuse the daughter, but his actual braider couldn't wash her hands beforehand? Jesus.

No. 506271

Fuck, I hate the fact that the tomboyish/edgy clothes I like don't suit me at all. I'm so tired of flowery dresses, I want to actually look cool once in while.

No. 506273

I had been saving all my empty cans from sparkling water, energy drinks etc and putting them in a bag that I was gonna recycle. the bag got full so I tied it up. yet my dumb dad went and threw it in the fucking trash outside and I didn't realize til the garbage truck took our garbage. my parents don't give a shit about trash in the house, they leave trash everywhere (there's literally trash on the living floor as I'm typing this, and an overflowing trash can) yet he felt the need to throw away my cans. not sure if he knew I had the intention of recycling them but he knows I recycle and it was really obvious that the bag was 100% cans and why else would a bag be full of nothing but cans?? I'm so fucking triggered right now.

No. 506277

File: 1579753791032.jpg (82.48 KB, 680x680, Og2Orzr.jpg)

The guy who molested me as a child is a tranny now. God has deserted us.

No. 506281

Wanna switch bods? I like dresses and skirts but my shoulders and small chest makes me look like a dude.
I wish I was living in the 80s when big shoulders were in.

No. 506288

There was this girl I talked to online and really liked, and she would always go on about her lesbian ships, how much she loves girls/how cute they are. We kinda lost touch after a while, but I recently checked in on her again to find out she’s got a boyfriend now. I don’t know if she’s bi now or whatever, but my heart kinda aches. I mean we haven’t talked in a bit so I don’t have any right to feel some sorta way about it but it’s got me down.

No. 506290

I feel like I saw a similar scenario posted here a while ago.
Why do you think it makes you feel bad? Did you crush on her at the time? Or is it like a betrayal?

No. 506302

I'm pretty good at handling ornery customers at my job but holy shit I get so triggered anytime I get someone at customer service complaining that we can only give them partial money back, as in-store credit, for items they don't have a receipt for. Like that's common knowledge, right? That your receipt is your proof of purchase and you need it for returns? I literally don't fucking know you, I don't know if you stole that or what. You should be glad you're getting anything back at all. "BuT I PaId x aMoUnT FoR It" bitch I don't fuckign know you!!! How the fuck am I supposed to know that??

No. 506303

my birthday is on 2/14 so most of my entire life has been overshadowed by it, family kinda forgetting it, friends ect.

So I always get this awkward happy birthday a day or two later. it Not to mention all of my relationships have always ended around or on my birthday.

I just feel tired and I really wish I could have a party or just do anything with friends/family anyone really on / around my birthday and not go to bed and cry alone for once.

I dunno in a kinda fucked up way it makes me feel alone and like I don't deserve love.

No. 506316

fuck that anon i"m cominb back on the 14th to say happy birthday. mark your calendar bitch and prepare to be appreciated.

No. 506317

I wanted to find a nice PCOS support group, mostly dealing with irregular periods and how it affects my mood and the side effects I have such as balding hair and all that. The most active ones I did find were just focused on people trying to get pregnant and like I honestly understand their struggle and they should have a space to worry and uplift each other about that, but I currently am not trying to get pregnant or know about ovulation. I need to find a group that doesn't focus on those things or 99% of the conversations be those issues, but that's all that comes up. Am I shit out of luck? Maybe there's a forum out there so it can stay separate and I can still talk to the people who have pregnancy troubles? I don't want to exclude them. Tbh lots of Facebook groups about issues should just migrate to forums.

No. 506318

My grandfather is in the late stages of lung cancer and my family expect me to fly back home to see him one last time.
Dont get me wrong I'd love to go back to my home state but honestly I wasn't even particularly close to my grandfather or that side of the family, I dont know anyone here that could take me to the airport or even check up on my cats for the six days I wouldn't be home, I dont really want to use that much of my vacation days at work and a plane ticket is something I can't really afford right now but I cant think of anyway to explain that to them without sounding like a conceited bitch.
I've only met my grandfather a couple times, I just want to make my family happy and be moral support because I know they're taking it hard but…I just dont really want to go.

No. 506319

File: 1579772782568.jpeg (430.23 KB, 1093x828, 8FD85FED-1A6C-4D65-83F4-3B92E3…)

I love my brother, I really do. He's the only one I have besides my boyfriend and he's the only person who's been a true friend for me for years, but GOSH lately he keeps criticising everything I like and it's so annoying! He's told me before that when someone is different from him, he feels like they're going against him, and I think that's how he's been feeling towards me lately?

He said that we both hate the same things, but most of what I like he also hates. I bought a new game and he keeps telling me it's crap. I recommended an anime and he said it was crap too. I think because he doesn't like what I like, he's been looking down at me as dumb recently? Ahh it's not that big of a deal but I wish I could just talk about things with him. He's always been the person I admire most in the world, and if I'm being honest I'm scared of going against him because I really don't want him to dislike me. I think he likes it when we agree on everything and like all the same things so he feels like we are the same and I'm not going against him, but that's just not possible.

No. 506320

I'm going to do this too!

No. 506321

Next time you do fly back home for a better reason, just make one of your top priorities to visit his grave or see his urn, not sure how they're going about it. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.
I know I recently had to attend my biological grandmother's funeral who I only met once a year before she passed and I told my dad straight up, "I'm unsure if I'll be able to see her or attend her wake, money is tight for me and I don't want to miss work." And he totally understood and never tried to pressure me to take off or go out. The only people who did pressure me were those who weren't immediate family, so it didn't phase me much.

No. 506332

He sounds like your typical internet elitist. Everything is CRAP except his specific likes. I wouldn't give it too much thought.

No. 506333

Also, him only treating you well when you agree to his stuff is pretty toxic. And the fact that you are afraid to tell him wat you like suggests that he's been toxic in the past too.

No. 506335

File: 1579778577450.jpeg (297.32 KB, 750x718, F72FE851-DC64-4194-8CAB-BCEB72…)

TLDR; Almost everyone I grew up with is crazy and it's still hard to wrap my head around

Sometimes I get a little sad that almost all of the people I grew up with and spent my childhood with grew up to be not so great people. It's insane to me how they don't realise what type of people they are.

2 grew up to be 'proud lolicons' , 1 grew up obsessed with Lolita and wanting a Lolita gf so he could be Humbert (he's also trans) , the rest grew up obsessed with instagram, astrology and being 'woke uwu'
I really feel like I've just had so much bad luck with friendship.

My ex best friend is quite an extreme Muslim and just an overall not nice person.
When I was 14, my mum died, and she told me that Allah took her away from me and that we would both go to hell because we weren't Muslims (she was 18 at the time of telling me, I think?) That's bizarre for anyone to say, especially to a literal kid. She would normally act nice to my face but then I'd hear or see her talking bad behind my back which really rubbed me the wrong way. She talked a lot of bad about almost everyone and was very concerned with other people's appearances, despite being average herself.

Along with being a quite extreme Muslim, she was very delusional about this one guy. She had a crush on him for YEARS, but he's so clearly not interested in her and only keeps her around to feed his ego. No matter how many conversations we'd have about him, no matter what I said, she was always so blindly loyal to him and praised his every move. A lot of our conversations would revolve around him, and even though I know it's important to vent sometimes, it was really really boring talking about some dumb guy. He's not a nice person either.

She's more extroverted than I am and has quite a few friends, so she introduced me to that guy because she knew I didn't have many friends and I suppose she wanted us to get along? I was 15 at the time, he was 21, and he was always very sexual with me and it made me super uncomfortable. He's a self-proclaimed lolicon and randomly sent me nudes when we were talking one day. I just ghosted him and told my best friend about it, she was just like 'ok whatever' and continued on being friends with him. I think that was the final straw, honestly. She literally excused his pedophilia, he told her that I was a liar and she believed him without question and everyone in their friendship group just made me out to be some horrible liar when I really wasn't. I think that's when it became clear to me that I cared for her much more than she cared for me and that no matter what, I'd always come second to some greasy lolicon so I just blocked her on everything and deleted all my social media.
He sent me nudes on kik, so I didn't save them, because I thought I could always just look back on our chat and show them if necessary, but I had no idea kik deleted your chat logs after a while so I lost them and of course got framed as a liar with no proof. Sigh. Everyone from back then was really messy and really opened my eyes that some people have no self-awareness, yet I was the one who was antagonised.

The guy she was obsessed with really is a lolcow himself. He's obsessed with Hatsune Miku and Killing Stalking. He literally burnt down a friend's house for no reason other than edgy points. He sent me pictures of the ashes, but it could have burnt down because of another reason and he just lied about doing it himself? He also lied about stabbing a girl from tinder, so he soaked his T-shirt in his female rabbit's period blood and sent pictures of it to me and my ex best friend. He'd always tell me that even though I was 15, I had the body of a 'woman' and would always whine about how I didn't love him like he 'loved' me. Keep in mind that I was 15 at the time and he was 21. I never flirted with him at all. I really don't know if what any of what he told me was the truth or not, but he also said that he went to juvenile prison for stabbing a kid when he was younger with a TINFOIL knife?? Kid apparently didn't die, but he was just really injured. He also sent a video to his ex of him and his then gf having sex. He's probably done a lot more things that I've forgotten about.

Sorry about the length and rambling nature of this, I just really wanted to let it out somewhere. Even though I'm away from those people now, I still feel odd that I literally now have no friends because I had to distance myself from them. They don't realise how odd they are and they always excuse their behaviours. I spent so many years thinking that what they were doing was normal and that I was the weird one. It's still confusing to think about.

No. 506337

Samefag but her logic was 'I know him better than you and I know he would never do that' and 'if he hasn't even sent a nude to me, why would he send one to you?' He is literally der coomer.
She's tried to get back into contact with me a few times, the latest one a couple months ago on whatsapp because I forgot to delete her number. Some weird message about how she had a bad dream about me and to stay true to myself and keep going?? I didn't open it, ignored it, she saw, probably got annoyed by the rejection and blocked me.

She'd do this quite a few times back when I had Instagram. She'd message me on a random account (she had like, 10 different accounts for stalking purposes) , saw that I wouldn't answer, then blocked again. Rinse and repeat. She's also self-diagnosed herself with BPD. Instagram is one of the worst social media apps and I despise it.

I've never told this fully to anyone before, I just really need to let it out

No. 506348

File: 1579785866933.jpg (166.59 KB, 1280x720, arms.jpg)

i'm just an average weight for my height, but this is a more accurate representation ( yes i shittyly edited it ).

No. 506354

My girlfriend keeps lying about the genders (and other info) of her internet acquaintances. Whyyyyyyy??????

No. 506357

If you're the jealous type, she probably thinks you'll respond negatively if you know the truth. It makes sense if you've had arguments that went something like "Why were you spending time with a guy? He bought you a meal? What the fuck?", or it could even be an instinctual/automatic thing if she had an ex that was like that.
If neither of those things are the case, she might be hiding something.

No. 506364

File: 1579790975518.png (37.34 KB, 300x300, kermit-the-frog-in-love-meme.p…)

omg ty :,) I hope on ur birthdays y'all get warm wishes!! it low-key made me tear up

No. 506368

This might be long but I've already resignated that I most likely will not be read, I just need to get this out somewhere because I feel like I'm losing my mind almost.

I started posting my art online a couple months ago, I didn't have any followers at all. I literally couldn't even get 20 people to follow me, and now I have 15k. My art is shitty too, so I have no idea how this even happened to me. I can't stop seeing my art and myself as shit, every time I post ANYTHING whether it be just a personal post, a meme, an art piece, a sketch, I feel immense guilt and paranoia of annoying people and making them realize how shit I actually am. I know this is imposter syndrome and I don't know how to make it better. I also feel really alone, I can't make any friends because of autism but I see all kinds of other artists talk with each other all over my timeline. I guess I don't feel good enough to interact with anybody.

It's affecting my production too. I stopped drawing as much when I started getting attention on my art due to fear of failure. I know I don't have to post every single drawing, but if I complete a drawing that I don't deem postable then I feel like I failed and wasted my time, and if I do draw something that I can post, after I post it I will want to delete it. I just feel like every move is analyzed or something, every flaw is being viewed by everyone. Then, I told myself I would be super productive and draw a lot and improve a lot, have lots of good things to be able to post, for the New Year. It's nearly February and I barely have anything to show for it so I feel like a fuck up and a failure.

I can't bring myself to draw at all anymore. It's not like I don't appreciate the following or don't want it, I'm scared of losing it more than anything. Of everyone realizing that I am just a simple hack and abandoning me. It's all I really have in my life, I live a very sad existence of poverty, disability, and isolation due to family issues and not being able to make friends. I just don't know how to get myself to draw again.

No. 506369

I'm so, so very salty about the current state of cgl.

No. 506370

I have my jogging route and there's this older man that I happened to bumped into a few times.
After a few times of small talk, he kept bringing up his son as in my son is your age, he does x, he looks like this and that. And then it soon turned into you two would go well together and that kind of cringey shit. He started talking about me meeting his son to which I just said that I don't think that I would have time for that and that I'm busy with other things. Then his wife started taking walks with him where I jog and they both started talking about meeting their son again. I just started taking a different route for jogging because fuck that shit and I hate being stopped and breaking my pace that way.
But then recently, I've bumped into him elsewhere and he told me, that he hopes I didn't take him seriously because he was joking? What kind of joke is that anyway? Regardless of his stupid son, I just hate being interrupted but I honestly don't know who tf brings up his son for two weeks at every encounter and then suddenly it's a joke? Fucking weirdos everywhere man.

No. 506374

File: 1579794886475.jpeg (105.55 KB, 600x450, E3152BCB-A224-4931-B955-A21BE7…)

>I most likely will not be read

I read you, anon. I'm sure others have too.
Remember that social media is quite toxic, even if you're just using it for art. If it's really affecting you this badly, I advise to just deactivate your account and delete the app. It's not worth sacrificing your health and fun for a following.

You don't have to offer an explanation as to why to anyone. Put yourself and your health first. Once something that is a hobby begins to become stressful and not fun anymore, I think it's time to step away from it. Take a break from art, delete social media and just concentrate on relaxing. Then, when you're ready again, start drawing!
I'm sure that a big following can be stressful and pressuring on anyone.

>if I complete a drawing that I don't deem postable then I feel like I failed and wasted my time

I think this is another problem that stems from social media and having a big following. No drawing is a waste of time. With every drawing, you improve and learn - even by just a little.

>I'm scared of losing it more than anything. Of everyone realizing that I am just a simple hack and abandoning me.

Their thoughts don't matter, because that's not true. And remember, big followings don't last forever. Your enjoyment of art and general health is immensely valuable, more than any following ever could be. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone.

Please put your health first. You'll feel so much better.

No. 506375

These parents were trying to set you up with their son, and upon realizing your disapproval backpedaled that it was all a "joke" so as to not spook you off.
They don't know a god damn thing about you other than you keep fit from jogging. They're selfishly thinking you'd make good attractive fuckmeat for their precious boy who can't be much of a catch if he's never out jogging with his parents, and is so low on the game that his own dad tries to be his wingman.

Don't stop for them anymore and pretend you're in a hurry.

No. 506381

Well, I once again have nothing to do at my office job on account of finishing all the work early. I wish it were as simple as just flicking through internet memes for the next 7 hours but I do want to make it look like I'm actually busy.

I want to do something productive. I've been getting group emails from a writing circle that I signed up for back before I got super depressed and never followed through with. Lately they've been advertising different competitions. I'm not delulu about it though. My writing is probably incredibly rusty and not that good these days since I'm years out of practice. Still, there's no harm in dropping some garbage short story into a podcast competition where winners get .08/word right? At least it's potential monetization of time whereas I'd otherwise just refresh the internet all day, or idk pathetically browse my dating profile.

No. 506382

I was about to disagree with you because I hide every thread that isn't lolita related. But then remember that your likely talking about the cosplay part of cgl.

No. 506386

I think he backtracked cos he knows it was too much

I hate invasive people like that

No. 506390

Yeah, I thought so too. What makes it even worse is that they're from a western country and they're on a vacation in my country (I'm a slav). I just hope they don't dupe another girl into this.
Now that I think about it, it's really creepy.

No. 506394

I'm in the exact same situation as you. I finish work early, then have absolutely nothing to do for the next couple of hours before I return home!
I know that it's better than being overworked, but it's incredibly boring and time wasting.
Lately when I finish early, I read free books online, and my coworkers think I'm reading something related to work. Maybe try that?
It's better than nothing.

No. 506395

File: 1579797524341.jpeg (398.35 KB, 828x800, 067949C8-152F-45A4-B837-DBCFD7…)

I wish that I could have been a big sister.
I really love children (in a completely wholesome way, I hate when people make jokes about me being a pedo when I say that) and if I had just one wish in the world, it'd be to ensure that every child grows up in a happy and healthy household.
I volunteered at an infants' school for a couple of months, essentially baby sitting 4-5 year olds for a day and helping them with spelling, reading and counting etc. Unfortunately I had to stop because I'm a very sickly person and children, as angelic as they are, are walking bacteria that kept on making me ill. The children I worked with were so polite and kind! Of course some had behavioural issues, but to me, children are just naturally good and deserve happiness, if that makes sense. I hope they don't miss me too much, ahh.

I just feel like I have really strong maternal instincts, I guess? I have the strongest desire to protect children and help them grow up into good people. I really hate when people make me out as weird for this. I'm not sure if I'll become a mother, but if I do I'm sure that I'll enjoy it very much. Anyone who hurts a child deserves to burn in hell. I don't believe in prayers much anymore, but sometimes I just sit down and pray that the children I worked with are happy and healthy and grow up into good people. It's the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

No. 506398

Last night I had a dream that I was best friends with Mari Ohara from Love Love (Not even my best girl) and she kept telling me that I was her favourite person and that sometimes she got a little jealous when I talked to other people, odd dream I know but I woke up and missed her?
I just want a best female friend again, doesn't have to be Mari! I woke up and I was like 'aw that was so cute of her to say' , got back to reality and immediately felt like my brain had tricked me, or something. I probably sound really lame but it was so nice to dream of that.

No. 506401

I know the feel, you made me remember today I dreamt a girl I briefly talked with online (and that I looked up to a lot) wanted to be my friend irl and I was so happy. I wish it was for real.

No. 506403

>tfw when you say you love children, people call you a pdf
>tfw when you say you hate children, people get offended and tell you you were a child once yourself
I wish children didn't exist but also I wish I could help disabled children feel less disabled.

No. 506405

File: 1579798633735.jpg (20.53 KB, 500x380, eMcIWPs.jpg)

Called my family to tell them I wouldn't be able to go and the first thing they say/assume is that its money related and they offered to pay for my plane ticket.
Theres so many other things too, my job, my cats, theres also the issue of where I'd stay while up there, a hotel is out of the question so I can either sleep in a rental car or on someones floor/couch and…It's just not convenient.
IDK how to tell them in a nice way that I barely know my grandfather and that I'd rather just save my time/money for flying out to visit at a better time.

Anon, are you me? Because I relate to this so much, I couldn't have said it better myself.
A big art account feature my old account and even though my art was hideous it gave me a lot of followers but also put sooooo much pressure on me, I didn't feel worthy of having that many followers and I burned myself out trying to improve and draw what people wanted instead of just having fun with it.
I ended up deleting my old art account (11k) and made a new generic account thats just selfies and pictures of my hikes and plants, I almost never draw anymore but I found having less of a following actually helped my mental health a bunch and made me feel like much less of a fraud.
I still post and instantly delete or delete very soon after if I feel like a specific picture wont do good but I've been trying to work on giving no shits.
Its really refreshing to hear someone else who struggles with what I do (I'm autistic and have AvPD) so I never reach out or DM anyone. Maybe if I'm feeling brave I comment on something from time to time but otherwise I feel like I always make it awkward.

No. 506409

As I get older I am realizing maybe I could forgive my mom to an extent for not handling the situation that allowed me to be abused as a child better. But then I remember how even when when we were finally separated from my stepdad she would call him drunk and giggle and talk about how she missed him. She is fucking disgusting.

No. 506410

It makes me upset that in the boyfriend brag thread on /g/, most of the anons there talk about what their boyfriend does for them, rather than how he makes her feel.
It just rubs me the wrong way, I suppose.

No. 506413

File: 1579800901884.jpg (32.02 KB, 634x582, 454636.jpg)

I was looking for things to do in my state and they had chocolate festival, but it's a 1 hour drive. I wanna do it, but I don't wanna drive for 2 and half hours in good traffic for like 30 minutes of fun. Even worse my cousins are a 20 minute drive from the event so I'm jealous

No. 506415

File: 1579801457892.gif (875.1 KB, 245x244, EB6C72C3-A3D9-4347-9411-F73CF4…)

I'm over him, but my ex's ears would up and down automatically when he was happy/blushing and I still think it's one of the cutest things ever

No. 506422

I'm sure their bf's actions make them feel good? Any guy can say flowery words to make your heart goes thump, ultimately meaningless. Women tend to idealize and feel enamored of a guy right of the bat anyway.

No. 506443

I'm romantically unlovable.
It hurts. I have no idea why this is.

No. 506447

I just feel stupid, this is pathetic. I wasn't sure to put this in the confessions thread or here. I'm taking what's supposed to be the easiest/freeform gym course at my college rn since they require PE, but the coach teaching it is different than others. He's implementing structure and is really high strung, even though he thinks he's really nice. He timed our mile today and I am whiny for making excuses but I'm tired today, I hadn't eaten yet, and I had a fucking mental breakdown yesterday so I was the last one done. Plus exercise/athletic shit makes me insecure and feel stupid because I'm so slow and god I feel like a piece of shit. Why try, I'm not even good at it.

I went to the bathroom when the class started so I was already behind when I started running, and felt self-conscious. Then I was just going so slowly and when I realized that, I just felt guilty and doubled down on keeping the same pace. It's better not to try then try and look like a fucking idiot because I'm an out of shape piece of shit, or tear up because I feel so pathetic and like a fat slob. So I just tried to act like I didn't care when I really felt so stupid.

Good grief, the coach just emailed me and said "hope you get some sleep since you said you were 'tired' ", tired in fucking quotation marks since he pulled me aside after class and that was my excuse. I don't want to tell a fucking sob story that I'm actually a fucking mess to a stranger, but dropping a gym class because of this is pathetic. Truly, this shit just happens to me because I'm a retard. I know I'm making excuses and could have tried more, but fuck, I thought that class would be a nice destresser and now the coach thinks I'm a lazy pain in the ass (which is true). I guess I might just drop it next week, but I thought having a class to motivate me to work out instead of sitting in my room all day would be nice.

No. 506449

I'll try not to reach 2x tier sperg but the dating scene annoys me so damn much.
>match with overweight dude with a cute face
>gives me generic compliment
>wants my number
>gave it, same dull exchange ensued over text
>didn't ask me on a date
>hasn't texted me since Tuesday and I didn't really care bc of the low effort
>sends me a passive aggressive message on the dating app asking if he had done something wrong
Um, no? But did you expect me to be fawning over you and texting you everyday because you said I was beautiful? Do you think every guy I've ever called cute has chased me and doted on me cause I was nice like once on an app? What stopped you from trying to initiate a conversation if it was bothering you this badly? I hate it when men expect women to be the texters, like hey shitlords maybe I wanna feel desirable too and you have thumbs as well!

I didn't send a message back in those exact words obv, but he hasn't responded still to what I sent. I threw it back by saying how I thought he was just too busy to text, and unless he forgot my number how weird it was that he didn't just text me about this instead of logging on the app to send the message. Truth is the retard probably buried or deleted my number because he's spinning so many plates that he forgot who's who. I hope I embarrassed him but probably not since men are shameless. He probably said "Oh shit" because I caught his game and now he will ghost for good.

No. 506451

it's hard to talk to anyone irl about this but i've been struggling more the past few weeks with my mental health and I'm debating checking myself into a hospital because I can't function normally right now.
went to the dr yesterday and switched some meds around but I don't feel like I went in soon enough to maybe prevent this

No. 506454

it really sucks to be treated like that but on the upside at least you didnt waste time on a date with a complete loser.

No. 506455

I really hope you feel better soon anon. I know how difficult it is to talk to people about these issues, it sucks and feels kinda hopeless. Stay strong ♥

No. 506456

File: 1579809084083.png (118.56 KB, 1076x1519, A fucking moron.png)

As soon as you said this he messaged me back with pic related.
What an idiot.

No. 506458

nta but
>you won't interested in m

No. 506461

File: 1579809671448.gif (1.1 MB, 500x250, original.gif)

I got my eeg results back today and the doctor said that they're, well, not good. I'll have to get more tests done and honestly I'm a bit scared since idk yet what could be wrong, if anything.

I just hate the fact that my own family doesn't give a shit about it. I can't say or vent to anybody because no one fucking cares. I just want someone to pat me on the shoulder and say it'll be fine, is that really too much to ask for?

No. 506465

File: 1579810428083.png (108.57 KB, 1080x1150, lol.png)

It's funny when they're spiraling so hard for damage control in order to get their dicks wet, that grammar and reason get thrown out the window.

He actually tried to gaslight me on this lmao.
Message before this screen for context
>It's a pity you deleted the conversation before asking me out on a date, or even questioning if I was interested. Your other option must have fallen through, that really sucks and I'm sorry to hear that sad emoji

Why not just be transparent at that point? You've lost the lying game dude, the only women who'd forgive this are the type who would accept your audacity as a replacement for your stupidity.
He's not attractive enough to be playing these games.

No. 506466

That sounds like a nightmare. In my experience, the only college gym classes worth taking are the ones that are structured like a instructor-led workout like aerobics or kickboxing or pilates. The instructor demonstrates in the front, you follow along in the back, they can't really nitpick or compare you to others. They also tend to be led by women which adds another layer of comfort.

No. 506467

i hope they don't find anything too worrying ! hang in there Anon, I understand you're afraid but stressing over this has no use, it's when you get your results that you can have productive thoughts over what to do if there even is anything to do.
fingers crossed !

No. 506468

Lmao fuck that guy. Blocked!

No. 506472

Runners are assholes and I'm thoroughly unsurprised. When I was in cross country in high school we had girls on our team cry because some days running was too brutal due to lack of sleep, no food, or just having a rough day. Track was similar but milder. The coaches were male and were often very harsh, and forget using periods as an excuse to perform poorly because they couldn't relate at all.
Your instructor probably has an ego about his pissy little elective course and wants to take it super seriously.

I had women coaches for my water aerobics and weight training courses in college and they were very understanding. The only thing they were harsh about was consistent absences, in which case people were definitely fucking around for an easy grade. They didn't care as long as people showed up and tried.

No. 506484

Thanks anon, it really does mean a lot. I dragged myself into the shower and am doing better than before at least.

No. 506486

What's the explanation for those kind of gamers who just solely have photo ops any time they start playing a game? All their photos are of them holding their controllers and standing next to their monitor at the title screen / tutorial.

No. 506510

Women drag other women harder than men could ever dream of

No. 506514

false, i drag women but i drag men the hardest

No. 506539

You dodged a bullet lol hope you can find way better bby

No. 506555

No, I'm talking about both.

No. 506562

File: 1579829465492.png (714.21 KB, 1275x747, dumb bitch.PNG)

im so mad at myself! i texted a dude who hasnt texted me back in a whole month but still watches my stories and shit that i hope he has a nice start to his new year uwu. Like why am i such a simp ass bitch? im so mad at myself. I lowkey did this so when he doesnt respond i can FINALLY have the reason to block him (as if i didnt have a reason already smh) and actually find myself true love! So in a way its a good thing…i guess lol

No. 506564

You should block him even if he responds. Men know what they're doing when they don't strike up a conversation with you for an entire month.
Currently I'm planning a shakeoff from this 40 year old fucker who keeps trying to take me out on these fancy dates. But by god if he isn't texting me and blowing me up with his availability, making sure he's extra careful and respectful of his bullshit. See anon, we deserve men like this but our age and actually attractive lol. Don't settle for being ignored fam, you deserve that true love prince thing.

No. 506578

>I lowkey did this so when he doesnt respond i can FINALLY have the reason to block him
Are you also holding out some hope that he will respond and that you can give him a second chance? If so, please don't fall for it. If he's already dipped in and out of contact with you and you've already established that this isn't what you want, then commit to a decision and let go. Don't even entertain the thought because that's how you end up with wasted time and regrets.

No. 506581

>feeling like an ugly femcel piece of trash
>”maybe if I post a good picture of me on Instagram I will feel better”
>most rekt cryptkeeper looking guy that knows me likes
>this is the first time he interacted with me on social media
>literally all my exes ignore
>feel even more like an ugly disgusting femcel now then yesterday

No. 506582

>has had bfs
Get on my level, anon. I've pursued many men and been rejected by all.

…but really, why do you feel that way? I'm sure you're actually cute.

No. 506584

i'm super worried about my cat. we woke up this morning and she couldn't walk well and turns out she was dehydrated. she's a bit better but i'm super scared now.

No. 506587

look into getting a cat fountain, they're more likely to drink if they can hear the trickle. my cat's too dumb to drink enough water without one.

No. 506588

I desperately crave affection. I really need to get a gf this year.

No. 506589

I hate sensitive men too, anon. Haven't dated any but they're some of the most annoying people to deal with at work. Today a guy's card kept getting declined while he was trying to buy a Switch game and he moped and said "well that's frustrating i guess i just won't buy them if i'm holding up the line and being a burden". I even offered to give him an extra discount for his trouble and he could barely answer me. His friend (either a butch woman or a trans man, so probably accustomed to shouldering emotional labor) had to comfort him over this minor inconvenience by rubbing his back and cooing at him like a kid. You literally have to treat emotional men like slighted children. I'd take a Karen over an overly emotional man any day, because even if she's a bitch the Karen at least usually acts like an adult.

No. 506592


Idk legitimately how ugly or attractive I am. Personally I really don’t like my face. It just looks weird, I have no definition to any part of my face, I have no cheekbones, huge buccal fat pads, my nose is just ….there, I have zero Cupid’s bow , even my eyebrows are just… straight. it’s just this fleshy maybe Jewish maybe Turkish maybe Romanian maybe Hispanic mystery meat blur, no one can ever tell what my ethnicity is. I spend hours straightening my hair everyday because the last thing I want is to also have curly dark hair on top of everything else, at least my hair can white. On top of that I have a really heavy jawline, I’ve seen multiple Korean vline surgery ads where the before photo essentially looks like an Asian version of me. Idk this is just my opinion and it’s probably excessively harsh

No. 506595

how old is your cat? can you go to the vet and get subcutaneous fluids?

No. 506601

Please don't hate yourself because of your ethnicity, none of that can make you ugly. You sound fine just maybe with some unconventional features, you don't need straight hair and an alien shaped face to be beautiful.

No. 506611

Men who are weaker than other men tend to lash out at women. Also sensitive men are supremely manipulative, and if you don’t constantly take care of their emotions then you’re a literal she-devil. Stay away from betas, ladies, 1 night a fortnight with Chad is better.

No. 506621

My boyfriend is pissing me off because he keeps losing his wallet lol. I even made a fucking dedicated cubby near the door so this would stop happening since he is also always running late and is frantically searching for it before he has to go. I know it's sooooo petty but this one thing is making him so unattractive to me.

No. 506625

My boyfriend called me at work the other night insinuating I threw a whole bag of sugar away. I kept telling him I didn't do anything with the sugar, I don't even grab it to cook, only to help him get his coffee ready, and that's exactly what he was looking for it for. He hung up and 5 minutes later I get a call back "Guess what… so I thought I brought my lunch to work yesterday but it was left here… My fucking dumbass brought the bag of sugar to work instead of my lunch. Now it's just sitting in the fridge." I fucking laughed at him and told him he's gotta stop packing his lunch in a black plastic bag, which is what we also wrap the bag of sugar in to avoid ants trying to steal some. I can't believe he thought I threw a perfectly good bag of sugar away.

No. 506626

why doesnt your boyfriend buy a lunch bag?

No. 506629

she's got a fountain it looks like she may have hyperthyroid
14 we got her the fluid but she is still pretty weak. it was so scary. just yesterday she seemed fine.

No. 506631

So low effort and pathetic. You’re right about the plate spinning, he’s desperate and needs to be adored by dozens of women every second to get out of bed in the morning, but too stupid to actually lose weight and gain some value, hence why he has to throw little tantrums so he gets women cooing at him like “nooo bby I’m not mad at u! Ur perfect!” Tell him to grow up and be a real man kek.

No. 506640

We have one but it's currently dirty. We recently moved and something sticky got all over it so he's been stalling cleaning it.

No. 506641

Did you put effort tho?

No. 506643

I can't believe that's something he has to call you at work about.

No. 506649

Lol why should she put effort into a guy she doesn't want

No. 506656

Then why give him her number?

No. 506658

And why be annoyed that he didnt put effort then? Why be mad and in need of a vent if she doesn't want him?

No. 506671

Bad bait and stop samefagging.

No. 506672

I sent a message too fast and had more to say. I'm not pretending to be multiple people.

No. 506674

It doesn't matter, delete button is a thing. Doubleposting=samefagging even if you admit it and again, what you're saying isn't contributing anyway.

No. 506675

Ok boss

No. 506677

Don't worry champ, you'll assimilate eventually.

No. 506693

I work with a pos. We have counted and he goes to the bathroom like fucking clockwork 5 times a day for 15 minutes each time. Waiting for his laziness to get him fired is taking too long.

No. 506699

constantly torn between "I'm overreacting", ""my intestines are dying and I'm going to die soon too", and "even if I went to the hospital just to make sure, no one would believe me, so there's no point going to check until I'm actually dying"

No. 506706

I hate people who are more concerned with vet bills than their pet's health. If you're that concerned with spending money on your animal's health then DON'T FUCKING GET AN ANIMAL.

No. 506716

i agree. people need to realise what a responsibility having an animal is, a responsibility that costs money. sometimes they get ill, they get old and even need medication. these are things you need to consider BEFORE getting a pet. if more people really thought about these things then we would have less shitty pet owners

No. 506719

this goes double or even triple for people who are willing to buy “designer” breeds or purebred animals but are unwilling to actually properly care for them, a là taylor dean and the $10k snake that lives in a small plastic box with a dry water bowl

No. 506724

The only time I worry about finances if it's something rare, like surgery. I think that's acceptable because for an actual person it's just as costly. Regular checkups though? You should be able to afford it. Get pet insurance if you know your pet is a frequent visitor.

No. 506737

update, my cat is back to her normal cat self. and she does have hyperthyroid and is going on meds!

i totally agree with this. i save money for emergency cat stuff, but i know so many people who don't even take their pets to the vet!

No. 506751

File: 1579897059385.jpeg (37.72 KB, 375x350, 2BEB4D7B-6FAE-4285-9FE1-3FCCFA…)

>asks bf if he would like this one girl if he wasn’t with me and tells him to answer truthfully because curious
>he answers with “maybe”

I got what I asked for, but now I want to die, girls.

No. 506753

Congrats, you played yourself.

No. 506755

i feel so stupid right now. literally stopped feeling suicidal because i finally had something to live for and he made me want to keep going and now that i have this information i don’t see the point in continuing. i either kill myself soon or live alone and rot in a cabin in the woods far away. maybe it’s just the mental illness speaking but fuck

No. 506757

It absolutely is, you need to relax. You're both around now and he's not with her so it's a moot point. Relax a little and try to enjoy your relationship.

No. 506758

File: 1579898767567.png (336.55 KB, 560x560, corona_extra_24pack_m2.png)

The corona virus is gonna kill us all, isn't it

No. 506761

File: 1579898873394.png (10.04 KB, 541x566, fuck.png)

I've been increasingly less patient with my friends because of how childish they are, but one of them definitely crossed the line today. I invited two friends over to my flat (I'm broke and in college) to work on an appointment, and this guy chipped a big chunk of paint off my desk while playing with super glue.
I told him this made me upset that he was this careless with my stuff and he didn't even apologize and just sent a stupid upside down smiling emoji.
This tipped me off the edge and made me leave my friends group chat because I don't want to deal with children anymore (I'm a little older than them)
My flat barely has furniture, and he has the balls to come to my house and do this do the little furniture I have

No. 506763

That's the worst shit with childisj friends visiting, they just disrespect your stuff, even more so if they don't have a place of their own. I had the same thing happening to me and eventually they broke something that actually had to be repaired and required money to do so. Give them hell, anon.

No. 506765

You're overreacting. Just because he admits he might be vaguely interested in other people if he wasn't with you doesn't mean anything deep. We're all human and it's normal to maintain a certain objective interest in other people. If he's a good guy this shouldn't make you suicidal.
I don't think you were curious to know the answer. I think this was an act of self-harm. You knew what he would answer and was looking for an excuse to dwell on your insecurities. Do you have reason to be insecure with him?
I know mental illness can fuck with you and I'm no angel in my own relationship but if I was this sensitive I think I'd avoid a committed relationship.

No. 506768

How do people this sensitive live

No. 506770

OP are giving me the BPD heeby jeebies. It's probably that.

No. 506776

It's natural to feel attracted to others on a very shallow level when you are in relationship. It's nothing concerning, especially considering how you basically asked him to tell you if he finds her attractive or not (he didn't bring it up on his own accord). So yeah, please relax and don't worry too much, ok?

No. 506781

What's wrong with living alone or living in a cabin in a woods?
You don't value yourself, you literally are living for scrote approval. Of course anything he says about another woman would disturb you because you think it's a confirmation of your low worth.
You self-sabotage with questions like this. Even if he replied "no," I'm certain you'd speculate he was lying to you to spare your feelings.

I get it. But. But, but, but.
Don't show your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to men unless they are years into a committed relationship and are devoted to you. I don't want to be the harbinger of bad news, but if you keep putting ideas in his head about other women and making yourself look insecure, he might see things your way and dump you for these women you view as threats. Ho don't do it!

No. 506783

my close friend moved out of her room in a house and i ended up moving in because the rent is extremely low. two guys live here, one of them is very chill and cool, but the other guy is one of my classmates who i have started to resent. he is a ~nice~ guy, but he seems extremely insecure, has constant bad breath and doesn't have his own opinions.

i have a very busy life and don't have a lot of lectures (the ones i have aren't even mandatory), so i'm not at home that much and barely at school. plus, i will graduate next year. so living here is quite alright, if it was unbearable i would have moved elsewhere.

my problem is that my classmate feels way too comfortable around me. idk why this triggers me so much, but he walks around in boxers and a shirt sometimes and it's.. so disgusting. i've never had any close male friends, but i know that men tend to "act out" when they get comfortable around u and it's so annoying!!

idk what to do, other than to slowly distance myself from him.

No. 506789

i feel bad he has to put up with this lol. if your boyfriend is the only thing that gives you a reason to live and him saying he might like another person sends you into a suicidal mania perhaps seek help. tbh if you regularly act like this probably the only reason he hasn't dumped you is that he's scared you'll kys.

No. 506790

are snapchat stories broken for anyone else? i can’t post stuff whether i’m on data or wifi. so annoying.

No. 506802

i have so much student loan debt that i can't pay off and will literally be in debt for the rest of my life. i can't afford to pay my monthly payments and they just call me all day. like 20 calls 7 days a week. it's tanking my credit score. i cant save any money. they won't let me go into forbearance because i'm not below the poverty level. at this point I legitimately think I should just kill myself.

No. 506810

File: 1579910688248.png (18.6 KB, 300x250, kwETxOjwQ7-4.png)

god I hate being lonely. I end up placing unfulfillable expectations of understanding and friendship on essentially acquaintances and then feel hurt when then they fail to fulfill them. all just cause I have like one friend lmao. I am so lonely. my life is so pointless i want to die already.

No. 506819

I'm gonna align my outer atrocious physique with my inner self and become ugly in all forms possible, I'm sick and tired of being a dismantled retarded inbred-like piece of shit and I hate everyone and all of you, I hope god (if that dumbass exists) sends me back to hell already.

No. 506821

Be your own god. No one is forcing you to suffer and hate but yourself.

No. 506822

The recovering NEET Thread might be of some help, its all about learning how to be a normie

No. 506830

went to the obgyn today for a breast lump, and the doctor said it was really deep. asked me for my family history and about my previous medical conditions, then scheduled me for an ultrasound. i have family history and a condition that makes my chances for breast cancer rise from 20% to about 50%. + immunocompromisation.
im so scared . im really fucking young. i havent even finished college. there’s so much i haven’t done. i wanted to work as a union representative and help people.
im too scared to tell friends and family because i dont want to seem cow-ish or histrionic over what could just be a cyst but everything just feels so lonely and bleak now.
i also have other shit going on like a sexual harassment/assault lawsuit and i cant talk about that publicly or with friends either. its just too fucking much at once.

No. 506834

Breast cancer ain't no thang nowadays anon, modern medicine is amazing. Do you have a professional you can talk with about everything that's going on? I'll be sending u good vibes bb.

No. 506836

Sometimes I think about the time a fuckboy my stupid naive self was seeing tried to convince me to go on the pill rather than get an IUD when I was thinking of getting the IUD for birth control (for sex but also for everything else) because he didn’t like the idea of the iud maybe poking his dick a little if I was riding him.

It’s been years since I’ve last talk to him and I’ve had my IUD for a while now and it’s fucking awesome. He was trying to say “well it works out to the same price” but I’m like… well if its the same price why the fuck WOULDN’T I get the iud? Daily alarm? Don’t know her. Pharmacy runs for refills? Also don’t know her.

I know the iud sucks ass for some ppl (esp the copper one but I’ve heard it p much universally sucks lol), but I’m so grateful that it works for me. My skin is clear, my cramps have dulled back down (they stopped before I was on BC, then came back and fucking SUCKED when I was on the patch), and my period is light. I have to get mine replaced soon and occasionally people still ask me why don’t I switch to the pill but honestly… why should I? I lost my health insurance in the middle of having my IUD, if I was on the pills that would just mean having to pay out of pocket to keep myself on bc. I hate it when people are condescending when I say I just don’t want to deal with daily reminders. If I have an option to NOT deal with daily reminders, of course I’m going to take that option. Props to the people who like their pill or patch and are diligent on it. My dumb ass couldn’t even remember to change my patch on a weekly basis.

No. 506839

I just applied for a job and now I'm having anxiety thinking about what if they actually call me. I'm so bad at interviews. I also feel bad for having anxiety over such small things like a job interview (for a customer service job) when other people have real problems to be anxious over..

No. 506861

>>506839 everyone gets at least a little anxious or at least nervous over job interviews, anon. It'll be ok.

No. 506862

thank u

No. 506877

Hey anon, I can’t link it because I’m on my phone but check out the employment thread here on ot! There’s a good post that I like about interviews in it, and it’s also a nice place to see that lots of people get anxious over interviews! Heck, I just had an interview yesterday and I was super nervous! I’ve done tons of interviews and I’m pretty confident in my skills and how good I can portray myself, but the anxiety never really goes away. It just gets a little bit easier to manage with every interview.

Also, I know people on here shit on reddit but I like to go there to look at interview tips! There’s also some good threads about what questions to ask your interviewer that aren’t industry specific (I keep them all on my phone and pick one or two before I head into an interview all the time now). Just review the company, look up common questions and think about your answers, and practice practice practice! Best of luck anon!

No. 506889

File: 1579931107481.jpg (80.14 KB, 625x685, e.jpg)

I caved and texted him again. I had sex with him on the third date last weekend. I could tell the morning after felt pressed for him to drop me home. The texts were dwindling before that, really. Before he dropped me off I asked him to text me. He managed to text me Monday in brevity. Nothing Tuesday, Wednesday. I texted him yesterday but again his replies just seemed constipated and then he went on to say how he'll be busy next week due to work. The conversation tapers to an end on his note, we never really have a talk to you later or goodbye text exchange. It feels super inadequate.

So I initiated a text with him again tonight because I wanted to show him a piece of furniture I was working on restoring, and I did this jab that was along the lines of "Hey if you still care about me and my pet projects take a look at this lol!"
He commented passive aggressively on "that lead in." We talked a bit about the table and he asked a few questions about what I was doing but got brief again and then ceased. It's like he was hiding from me and trying to get me to only talk about myself. After waiting a bit I texted "Anyways, just thought I'd touch base." And that got him going enough to where he asked if there was an implied message he missed.

It didn't escalate from there. I was straightforward and pickme'd about how I didn't want to press his buttons but I was bummed he wasn't texting much after I asked him to reach out, yet I figured he was either busy or not interested. But to just let me know.
He apologized, said he's definitely been busy and was gonna use this weekend to study for his work project next week. I apologized and thanked him for letting me know and then said I was going to sleep since it was late.

But you know, I shouldn't even be worrying about this. The reason why he had the reaction he did is because he knows what he's doing and he knows it's bullshit. Was I just wanting to hear his excuse, his lie for cutting down the effort now that he had sex with me? I already know his answer based on his actions. Would any man really say he doesn't have a spare 20 seconds in a day for a woman who he really clicked with to check on her? Nah fam.
And anyways, I wouldn't want this in a relationship it would just drive me nuts and hurt my self-esteem.

It's my shit test, but I'm not gonna text him back and he'll probably just slip off radar. Not gonna chase him, but I'm so disappointed. He had me fooled with a couple thoughtful dates and playing up his insecurities card about his looks to tap into my empathy. He seemed to want my trust quickly.
I scheduled a new date with someone else tomorrow out of contempt, but what am I doing? Did I just want it to be real with that particular guy and is that why I'm so mad? Because I feel I got had even if it doesn't matter?
It sucks.

No. 506925

Today is my three year wedding anniversary and I didn't get my SO a gift because we are really tight on money. Just found out he got me a really expensive ass gift and now I feel like shit. I probably could have justified a little gift given that he puts up with my OCD ass every day. I feel like I'm the worst

No. 506928

File: 1579949049529.gif (1.79 MB, 354x192, Winnie-the-pooh-out.gif)

I'm going on a business trip over a long weekend soon, and it's going to be my first time on a plane alone. My mom flipped out and kept going on about how irresponsible I was and how much worry it would cause her for me to be that far away on my own.

Then she said something that really disturbed me. She said that if I don't text her often enough during the trip, she'll stop feeding my cat. She immediately started to backpedal by saying she didn't mean it, and that she was just trying to get me to "understand" her worry for me. But the damage was done. I can't believe she basically threatened to kill my cat. I'm going to have someone else watch him instead.

I don't even know how to react. On the one hand, the threat was totally empty. But on the other, she never apologized– like I said, she just backpedaled. I said nothing and moved on with the conversation, but maybe I should have said something. How would you guys react?

No. 506932

I mean, her initial reaction of calling a grown woman 'irresponsible' for going on a fucking business trip is bad enough even without threatening to kill your cat. Wtf is wrong with her? It sounds like she has legit mental issues. My reaction would be to find her a psychiatrist.

No. 506933

Sorry I phrased that badly. She's not calling me irresponsible because of the trip. She's saying that she's worried something will happen to me on the trip because she thinks I'm irresponsible. How am I supposed to learn how to be responsible if I never get the opportunity to?

She's been to to therapy sporadically in the past, but I think she needs to go on a more regular basis. She seems to have a martyr complex.

No. 506937

Don't simp then

No. 506945

Girl learn when to walk away

No. 506946

You didn't phrase anything badly, your mom is nuts. Lmao. Sorry anon.

No. 506979

My first day of college is today and I’m super nervous even though it’s just orientation. I have to come home during our lunch break because (luckily) I live close by and I have to take medication that I don’t wanna carry around with me lol. I’m literally worried not eating lunch in the break room provided for us will impede my ability to make friends…….. which I want to make at least one friend for study reasons. I’m also worried I’m just genuinely not smart enough to pass this course even though there’s nothing in my history that would support that fear, I’ve always done pretty well academically. Also: massively afraid of ice breakers, I do not want to have to speak in front of the class the first day and I don’t want to come up with something ~interesting~ about myself lmao…

pls wish me luck

No. 506982

Good luck anon

No. 506985

I'm gonna. I just hate it when certain men play dumb. They try to turn tables and spin everything like women are passive aggressive and clingy because they hate being called out for their shit behavior when we ask for a degree of attention and respect.
I don't think my comments were offensive. I was actually taken aback because I thought his responses to them were pretty passive aggressive. Kind of like when a teenager does something wrong and when someone pokes at it, they get angry because they don't wanna hear it and they don't care that it happened. They just want you to shut up about it.

If a guy had good intentions on his mind and wanted to continue talking to me, he probably would have taken my comments in jest. Cause they would be interpreted as dramatic and not true to the situation anyway. This guy treated it like a personal attack because he knows he just wants to keep me at length now and he'll never get serious. I feel deep disgust.

No. 506986

Feeling like shit? No problem, I got you.

I had a cute face, cute body, healthy, friends, nice hair, style, a bf, family, nice cats. Depressions, ok, but not that bad.

Then came the drugs. And I started to feel for the first time, realized my whole life was shit, everyone had treated me like shit my whole life. I dont love my bf, i never loved a man, Im actually a lesbian. I had a psychotic breakdown, went in a psych ward, ran away from there, came back more damaged, ran back to my bf, let him fuck me, died a thousand times. Tried to be normal again, and tried to love my bf. Doesnt work. More drugs, I shaved my head, just 50 kg, looking like a classic meth junkie, paranoia, stinky clothings, clothing just a autistic retard would wear, anxiety x10000 the whole day and night. Am to anxious to close my eyes. Ran to my druggie mum who gave me strong opiates, didnt help, ran to my bf back who gave me more drugs that should heal me, didnt help either. Headache so bad I cry and scream the whole day,went to hospitals, because I got epileptic symptoms but they didnt help, im sure they thought i just want drugs or whatever. Feel like a small child and behave like one. Waaaah help me, gib me dis gib mi das.
Traumatised my sister with my behavior, am with my dad right now. But just because I went to the psych ward again and wait to get committed. My ex tells me everyday he still loves me and it gets how it was. My sister tells me Im creepy. Have neurological problems like seeing lights, head feels like exploring, eyes are burning loud sound in my head. I dont wash my self and smoke the whole day.
Im on xanax right now, without I just feel like to do an hero. Bbbut I can't because the drugs told me not to. Now I'm afraid of the death. Pray for me

No. 506989

I hope you get to a place where you don't have to be around or are tempted to take drugs. Godspeed anon.

No. 506990

>school starting again while working
>schedule initially has me with 3 days off
>picked up an extra shift to assist at another building, one day off gone
>another coworker is sick and I have to cover for them tomorrow, another day off gone

So I’m working Friday through Wednesday, have homework I’ll try to finish today and I started showing symptoms of being sick yesterday. Next week is going to be ugly.

No. 506993

Men riddled with nothing but negatives really be thinking we're missing out, lmfao. These people need to be sectioned.

No. 507008

If you ask me, incels and other mass shooters need to stop targeting innocent people going about their day at schools, markets, and festivals.

If they really wanna make a statement, they should go after student loan buildings. And corporate offices for banks. Y'know, actual entities making everyone's life shit.

No. 507067

Because those faggots aren't actually anti-establishment, they don't have any semblances of virtues or le dangerous ideology, only excuses. They're just male, psychopathic, and mad that the odds aren't in their favor.

No. 507070

i wonder every fucking goddamn shitty day how these public terrorist freaks manage to get hero complexes but cant figure out how to kill somebody other than random citizens with 0 control over anything going about their lives.

No. 507090

Some girls are so BEAUTIFUL that it's so unfair! I feel like 'jealous' isn't the right word because I don't want to see them suffer or anything and I'm fine with being me, I just wonder what it'd be like. Genetics are cruel sometimes. I get a little bored of just looking like one person. Wish I could hop in a character creator and just change my facial features, hair, eye colour etc whenever I want to. I'm fine looking, I'm just not beautiful.

No. 507091

I have really bad days and i'm trying to convince myself that i'm still ok looking and all but then i see all these women with beautiful faces and almost "perfect" proportions and i'm like never mind lol. I deleted almost all my social medias because of that.

No. 507092

I'm okay with how I look, which is ugly to average.
What I'm jealous of is how beautiful people are treated. I hate how gorgeous women get men throwing money, commitment, and promises their way. Everyone's nice to them due to halo effect, cause they must be good people if they're pretty. Friends actively seek to be around them because it boosts their social value as well. They're more likely to be noticed for opportunities, and people think good things of them.

I wish I could have gotten any of that in life. I've worked so hard on other things and it sucks knowing that my looks hold me back.

No. 507102

File: 1579989479392.gif (330.86 KB, 498x448, 7B23C318-DA80-4535-ABFC-17EFD5…)

My Roommates/best friend’s family invited us out to eat but I just felt way too ugly to even go outside today. Maybe it’s because I’m on my period, idk. My acne has flared up and my hair is in knots that I can’t get out…not to mention I already binge ate today. My roommate said “it’s okay just wear a Tee shirt and jeans, you don’t have to wear a full face of make up!” But I feel paranoid that someone from work or school will see me looking like this though. My anxiety has been really high lately and I have no idea why, even at work I’ll be doing things normally and have this huge weight on my chest and it feels like I can’t breathe properly.

No. 507109

File: 1579992715453.jpeg (37.93 KB, 577x375, EEB2F27F-65E1-4BA5-9D7B-E426AA…)

An old friend from highschool messaged me again, and she's probably the coolest person I've met irl but I'm freaking out!
She wants to hang out and I can do that, but I'm so used to only talking to my boyfriend and anons from here. I feel like a complete social retard. I freak out around girls. Maybe because I care about what they think more?
She's a cool and nice person, but I seriously just don't know how to act.
Do I have autism???
I don't know how to fake myself to be 'normal' fully, but I don't trust her enough to completely act myself around her.

No. 507115

I feel this, anon. I'm a solid 5 on a good day but I've learned to like my face, I just can't help but wonder what it'd be like to wake up looking great every day.

No. 507116

She's just another person like me and you. There's no reason to put up a front of yourself, just be authentic and don't overthink it. You'll be fine.

No. 507118

but what do I talk about with her?
Other than casual 'hey how have you been how's work' etc

No. 507120

if she's as cool as you say she will probably realize that you're awkward and lead the conversation for you. that's what i do with shy people to make them feel more comfortable

No. 507121

nta but maybe tv shows, media in any form really. even food or weather is ok if you have nothing else lol, i'm sure you'll manage, especially if she's cool, she'll know how to start the convo at least!

No. 507125

Just be curious and try to be as interested as you can in the conversation - ask her what she's been up to and branch off from there, share how you've been, talk about your surroundings, anything going on in the current news that you think she might be interested in hearing. And since you guys shared a past it'd probably be fun to take a trip down memory road and rehash whatever you guys did.

No. 507129

Thank you anons!
I just find it so energy draining talking to anyone and I don't know how to say no when people ask to hang out

No. 507131

It's okay, I understand what you're saying. I don't know what to do though. I love my mom and I'm deeply in debt to her, but I don't want her treating me like this. She rarely apologises when she does and says things like this to me. I wish she would just acknowledge that she did something wrong for a change instead of trying to rationalize.

No. 507140

tbfh if it were me i would cancel my trip and try to rehome the cat out of fear, but i don't expect anyone else to act that way.
i'm very protective of animals but i don't even think i'm overreacting out of that bias. even if she say, threatened to sell your laptop, an inanimate object, she would still be trying to control your behavior by threatening to take or destroy your property, which is abusive in itself and it's not even on the same level as threatening to starve your cat.

No. 507156

If you can, consider bringing your lunch and meds there so you can talk to your classmates. It's easier to meet new people in the beginning of the year, before everyone has formed their friend groups.

As for icebreakers, those suck but no getting around them. Try to think of some facts about yourself ahead of time that are fun but not of any depth. For example, maybe you went somewhere cool, fave movie or one you watched recently, etc.

Good luck anon on starting college! I'm sure you'll do fine. Whatever bumps in the road you face, you'll get past them.

No. 507161

sorry for late reply but I am so happy for you!! Enjoy your hair!

No. 507171

File: 1580007922344.jpg (10.02 KB, 240x285, Yoshinari.jpg)

I was wondering, if u guys had the chance to get out of your third world country would you do it? Even though you probably wont be able to achieve your dreams later on? I always wanted to study art abroad but the cost is too great for my family to handle, recently i was offered an opportunity to work overseas ( not really the kind of job i am too uncomfortable with though) and they will provide me a resident permit if i work there for good. I just dont know if i should do it, and give up my dream of being sth i wanted my whole life.

No. 507172

lmao i caught the second guy im stalking talking to a woman and i feel like im going to lose my shit but im too tired rn so im just gonna die inside in silence

No. 507185

I fucking hate this coronavirus chaos,shit I was going to the states next month but all went downhill with my dad being all scared (though he's right) that we might get it as well,I guess I need to apply for a NEW job since I got fired 2 weeks ago

No. 507189

File: 1580014686441.jpg (15.65 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)

I have ordered something online discreetly but I live with my parents they still mock me for ordering online because they say it's unhealthy and addictive to me even though I'm not in my teenager years anymore where I overspent a lot anyway the item will arrive soon where my grandmother lives (my house over there) and I seriously NEED it with me right now it's really personal it doesn't help that I live over fucking seas yikeees

No. 507207

He's saying it was a joke now by way of apology. It finally clicked that you weren't at all interested, and that he was really only being a nuisance.

No. 507209

Eh, I think that's excessive paranoia. The chances of getting infected are very low, and then the chances of dying from infection are still quite low if you're not old and sick to begin with.

I'm off to Japan next week, but I'm not that concerned. I'll wear masks and wash my hands a lot. Not gonna put my life on hold because there's a remote chance I'll get sick.

No. 507210

Are you the crazy stalker anon from before? I’m glad you feel like shit, serves you right for stalking people

No. 507212

Only those of us that ever go outside, or have any human contact.

No. 507220


I admire your dedication, Anon. Most times I'm called to work a shift on my day off I decline even though I need more hours in general. Guess that can be blamed on me loathing my current position with mediocre pay at a place I like.

No. 507222

Just say it's a sex toy.

No. 507229

How do you materialize a reason to live anons?

I have no surviving family, no friends in my area, and my relationship is falling apart. I want to die and I don't want to die at the same time. The only thing that comes to mind is children but I've never wanted kids and being a single mom is rough in my country.

wat do?

No. 507230

Find a nice hobby to partake in that you can build a skill in! Also sign up for freebees every so often to get delivered to your house. I don't know how your financial situation is, but definitely come up with a financial goal or a small savings so you can splurge on an item or a few to enjoy every couple weeks.
There's a couple easy recipes I learned to make when I was agoraphobic and it helped me feel more alive just learning to make better dishes. I also started to play old video games on an emulator and getting farther in the stories helps me keep hopeful. Exercising also is good for me, to see progress in my ability of strength. There's always room for progress, anon. Hopefully you can find that hope as well.

No. 507232

File: 1580028795375.jpeg (30.45 KB, 500x273, 1E31AEDF-1EFB-44D1-B46F-3B4CC3…)

Idk why I'm still searching for the good in my father when obviously there’s nothing to find there.
He thinks he listens to me but he doesn’t hear me. I tried to explain something pretty easy to understand because he was worried about my anxiety and of course he had to give me his most honest and brutal opinion because it’s always the right one. I feel like I have to excuse myself every single time even for feeling the way I do. It’s exhausting because I love him but I hate the kind of person he is. If he wasn’t my father and just anyone else, I’d hate him from the first moment. And it hurts me because it scares me how real it is, how desperate I feel next to him, how I know someday I would have to leave him and he would be all alone again, as he always was.
But I can’t be someone else just for him. I try my very best everyday to make him happy and it’s tiring, mentally draining. Right now I feel like I’m playing a character, playing someone that’s not me, just because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. And of course I feel dumb when the only thing he can do is to feel and try to be superior to me in any way. He’s so selfish and self-centred, always thinking the way he sees things is the valid one, not giving me a chance to show him why it could be different.

No. 507243

So you were together in person, he chipps the paint off, you confront him and then he gets his phone out and sends you an emoji?

No. 507244

You shouldn't live with men if you can't take them being comfortable around you. It's his home as much as yours and I'm sure you'd like to feel comfortable in your home too.

No. 507246

Did you get hurt anon?

No. 507247

Maybe they shouldnt be murderors after all and maybe you shouldn't encourage people to be murderors cuz it makes you look as bad as incels.

No. 507250

Visiting America for the first time, in SF coming from Central Europe and jesus this place is so fucked.

Like the homeless people, there are SO MANY and so many seem to be mentally ill, and i mean homeless people are present in my home country too but there are much better systems in place and there are few and far between. And up until now I've never been yelled at and followed by someone homeless. I saw people on public transport with just worn through socks. Outside of visiting Hungary I've never seen homeless in that bad a clothing state. I was watching a shirtless guy dig out something from a bin and desperately eat it while I was sitting in a restaurant and struggling to finish my meal. It was distressing. And I wanted to help somehow but I've also got a sense of self preservation, you know? I'm seeing people in what should be an outright unacceptable state, clearly in need of help and they're being ignored and avoided. I saw a policeman walk up to a homeless woman in a wheelchair telling at passers by and he just kind of have a shooing gesture? Wtf. And it's like I'm supposed to ignore that and enjoy the thin touristy veneer.

Oh, and there was a protest yesterday, an anti abortion one. Also distressing. I've never seen something so hateful so widely supported. It must take a lot of emotional energy living here as a woman /minority because seeing all those signs and the support just drained me. It was so disheartening that it was a prevalent opinion. Back home it's just a given that a woman has the right to decide about her body,and that's where it ends.

And this place is supposed to be the liberal place? I'd hate to see the more conservative States.

Idk, the whole place feels like it's falling apart but it's been given a nice new lick of paint. The government and law seem so overbearing too, the signs are a bit much. Like "it's a Federal Law to give up your seat", isn't it just the nice, expected thing to do? Why does it have to be like a threat? Why do I feel like I'm doing something illegal by just being here?

I always wondered why the Americans romanticised Europe so much and now i see why. I used to think it's just because Europe had more history lol. But this place seems bleak and small pretty decorations can't distract me from it

I just wanted to come and try the fast food I'd always heard about and see all these things I've seen in movies in real life. The small things. But the whole environment here is so off putting that I just want to stay inside till I can leave.

No. 507253

it's absolutely awful but good luck telling that to the majority of americans. americans have the most fucked priorities and are living in a hellscape for literally no reason but will defend it to death. most of them, that is. they're so easily sidetracked by red herrings and smokescreens. it's VERY stressful being american. the worst part is when americans tell you "i can't think about it, it's too stressful/boring/depressing", like, how can you even detach and ignore the countless pressing problems when they're this severe? i can't distract myself from the problems because they're a daily battle that americans face. how they detach and ignore and get so aggressive about their ability to ignore and insist that other americans must do the same, is insane. they're crazy people and are absolutely brainwashed.

No. 507254

SF has always been home to an extraordinary amount of homeless. A lot of them refuse services. Because you cant use in a shelter. There's a huge heroin epidemic if you haven't heard.
California has beautiful weather that's another reason for all the homeless there. You realize that that you picked the city with the most homeless outside of maybe LA.

Anyone visiting SF would be advised not to engage them and wear closed toes shoes. It's the sad truth.

Why did you pick San Francisco anyways? It is one of my favorite cities but that shouldn't have been your first American experience probably.

No. 507256


No. 507257


My sister is always talking about how she wants to move to America and she should’ve been born American or some shit and I’m like literally why. Lmao it’s one of the worst countries in terms of brainwashing and health, food and culture and media and safety. But shes obsessed with the idea because she’s watched so many American shows and movies over the years and is way too influenced by them. She says she hates our country and culture even if it’s one of the safest and friendliest places. She’s a lost cause

No. 507261

Welcome to the urban parts of the US, it's incredibly fucked seeing all these homeless roaming around. Obviously the homeless are more likely to migrate in bigger cities and hang around each other hoping to get helped, but it ends up being the opposite. In more rural areas, they usually get better help because it isn't so concentrated, but still, it's an issue and the city doesn't really want to do anything to fix this, only prevent them from making the city look bad by spreading them apart making sure they don't get too comfortable in one spot. I remember visiting Seattle and my family and I accidentally missed a stop on the bus and the street we got off on was insane. Tons of homeless people just lined up against the wall and laying on the ground, some on drugs. Honestly sad.

No. 507262

even ignoring the homeless thing tho, she's right. the us is just depressing to visit knowing how it could and should be run so much more effectively. everything about the us screams bad priorities, bad values, useful idiocy, etc. like she says, they slap a fresh coat of shellac on everything and that does just enough to shut people up so they can continue whining about how nancy pelosi is a necromancer and alexandria occasio cortez is factually satan's soviet born mistress.

No. 507264

Went to Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, and passed through some of the upper Midwest (Oregon and Washington State) a few years ago with my family. It's a dizzying experience.
The nature is absolutely phenomenal, it's a real gift to be born there. But walk into any urban area and it's the opposite experience.

I don't know how you can manage to fuck up urban planning to this degree, you need a car to go absolutely everywhere (outside some streetcars) there's almost no place to ride a bicycle (and if you do, you're seen as Literally Hitler by drivers everywhere). Portions are huge, as are the people, there's sugar in everything, there's no cafes or proper restaurants yet people eat out all the time at the trashiest places that look like they haven't seen a mop in a decade. Ads everywhere. Churches and a weird obsession with God in the south, to a lesser degree in the north. The overall tone of the ads and any publication is weirdly condescending and propaganda-like, and these people make fun of Russia and China for being propaganda machines…

Also massive McMansions. People in my country have big homes but not as big as these. I don't even know why you need so much space, what can you possibly put in it. We stayed at an airbnb that was basically an upper floor of one such house where it felt exhausting just going to the bathroom to take a piss.

But the worst part is that it really feels like that song about people living in boxes that all look just the same, outside of some older historical spots like New Orleans (which I would recommend visiting). I would feel so fucking miserable living in a boring swampy ass empty space with nothing but boxy franchises and chains and a whole lot of nothing around me. Especially since we were constantly warned not to go out at night.
These are the people who always asked us if our country is safe (it's in Eastern Europe and therefore we're all bloodthirsty commies I suppose). Here you can walk anywhere at night, you won't get harassed by cholos, random gangster youths and catcallers. Maybe someone will comment that your outfit looks shit but that's it. You feel so trapped all the time, I hated every minute. Now I understand why every teenager owns a car here and people want to go to Europe.

I don't understand, Australia was a way better experience even though the landscape there was ten times worse than the US. How do you fuck up so hard?

No. 507267

i have a job interview tomorrow and i'm really nervous and i can already see myself fucking it up, so much that I keep thinking about it again and again and I feel like I'm just bringing it into reality the more I do but I can't fucking help it I hate how much i want this job

No. 507268

Do it. You gotta take risks sometimes.

No. 507269

Before I met my boyfriend, video games were honestly my reason to live.
Thinking things like 'I can't kill myself yet because I'll miss this future release of a game I want' really helped me, as cringy as that may sound.

No. 507276

Thank you anon. What recipes did you learn? I'm agoraphobic too and I think my box-or-frozen-meal diet makes me more depressed.

Actually I was the same before I met my shitty boyfriend. I should get back in to gaming. You both suggested it. It's not cringy. Or it's not as cringy as suicide. Creation Engine is more dependable than humans to be honest.

No. 507289

File: 1580045832066.png (Spoiler Image, 51.79 KB, 798x624, Screenshot-11.png)

i fucking hate my tits so much… and i hate myself for letting them get so bad. as a teen i had an ed so the rapid weight fluctuations probably fucked up the skin, then i had a phase where i didn't wear bras often, then i had a dumber non-binary phase and i know the binding didn't help at all. they're a bit perkier now that they have proper support, but… one is bigger and saggier than the other. i hate it so much, i can put my phone under it and it stays in place. if they both looked like the smaller one i'd be less self conscious. i can't even go braless at home, i feel too disgusting. i know no one has perfect titties but i genuinely hate mine. i cried after my bf tried to compliment me on how much perkier they are now. just reminded me of how ugly they were and still are. i want a fucking breast lift. i'm only 22.

No. 507291

wearing bras and binders didn’t give u saggy boobs, it was the rapid weight loss/gain/etc. if you really want a lift start saving up for it. otherwise try to learn to get the fuck over it, anon, because it’s seriously not the end of the world. you still have your health, and once we get older everything goes to shit anyway so what’s the point of crying now? just get some cute bras with good support and stop putting so much energy into hating yourself for no good reason

No. 507292

i guess the part that gets me the most is the "what if" aspect. like, maybe if you didn't develop an ed they wouldn't look so bad now. it wasn't even genetics or anything, it was my own doing, so there's a lot of regret there

i'm a lot more confident in general so i don't care about my boobs as much as i used to. i still get sad and angsty about it from time to time, though

No. 507293

Yep, frozen dinners will make you feel like shit. I tried to do that when I started becoming afraid of anything that wasn't prepackaged, but it just made me feel terribly worse. I started doing some simple recipes like Japanese beef bowls, chili, macaroni and cheese, lasagna, carnitas, baked chicken, Shepard's pie, and Japanese pork cutlet. Also you don't have to go all out and make everything from scratch, I still buy the sleeves of chili seasoning and frozen vegetables. I think the most time consuming thing on the list is the lasagna because you gotta manually shred the cheese. The pre shredded shut glops up and doesn't completely melt, avoid that shredded stuff with the mac n cheese too, you can rip big chunks of the block cheese and it'll melt perfectly.
Yeah, video games are perfect. I bought myself an old Nintendo DSi and went crazy when I got myself an R4 card. I still haven't gone through at least 1/5th of the ROMs I downloaded. And that's just trying them out, not beating them.

No. 507295

go get help and maybe you'll feel less shit

No. 507301

We had to give away a cat a few years ago because he was abandoned by his previous owners. My boyfriend's sister used to live with us so she brought him thinking we were gonna watch him for about three weeks as her friends go on vacation. Well, it turned out to be weeks. On top of that, my boyfriend's sister didn't even take care of the cat, she was barely even home and decided to move into a friend's room, basically making us take care of him. We already had one cat at the time and the cat she gave to us didn't know his boundaries and when to stop eating. We got to a point where he started to realize what food was his and not to eat like a pig, but his sister came over one day and ruined all of the progress. He went back to square one and our cat stopped eating, even when we would separate them during feeding time. It was a dead end and who knows if sister would've came back and ruined all progress again.
My boyfriend, his mom, and I eventually decided we have to give up the cat we took in. I loved that cat, he was so cuddly and friendly, but my boyfriend's sister would basically destroy this cat when my boyfriend and I weren't home because she would overfeed him. It was basically for his own safety, because she's killed another cat before by overfeeding him. My boyfriend and his mom tell me to this day about the cat they had that only lived for 3 years. His sister took him with her when she temporarily moved out and eventually he couldn't even shit in a litter box because he was that obese.
I miss the cat we had, I remember a few days after dropping him off at the animal shelter, I went to go visit him. The first thing he did was jump into my arms. I teared up. A few days later, he was adopted. The family who adopted him gave an update to the shelter's Facebook page a few months afterwards and I was so happy to see how he was doing. The owners also had a dog and a horse and I knew they were perfect for him because he would play rough like a dog.
That was about 4 years ago. I honestly want to check up on the cat is doing. I found the people who adopted him and I think it'll be weird if I added them as friends just because of the cat. They do seem to love him and it just makes me feel happy he's not suffering. Who knows what would've happened to him if my boyfriend's sister just took him with her, wherever she decided to live next. Also, I remember after taking him to the animal shelter, the old owners texted my bfs sister asking how the cat was doing, basically half a year after they abandoned him. Fucking unbelievable.

No. 507314

File: 1580054995458.jpg (35.26 KB, 638x598, FLKbyNu.jpg)

why the fuck is my ex mutuals with all of my friends???? even my friend's siblings?? and my friends are friends with his other ex?? fuck off!!!!!!!!

No. 507316

File: 1580055089044.jpeg (310.95 KB, 901x933, 0D256F52-BEB6-4651-8220-8D0056…)

Bf asked for a picture of me, opened up my front camera, saw how unremarkable looking I am, day ruined.

I have serious self image and confidence issues and although I know it's pathetic, I just don't know how to stop caring. I don't think I ever will. I want to cry whilst typing this, just because I hate the way I look. What an immature thing to be upset about. I'm happiest when I'm not in college, but knowing I have to go back tomorrow, knowing that people will see and make judgements of me, it just makes me want to hide. These confident issues sprout up whenever I have to go out in public again.
I hate that for the rest of our lives we are trapped in just one body.

No. 507317

Did your bf forget what you look like? Just trying to understand his request for a pic

No. 507318

We were talking about hair, he said his is too thick, I said mine makes me look like Lord Farquuad, he asked me to show him, then I opened up my front camera and ah yes sweet insecurity. He just likes having photos of me I guess (we're LDR) but he doesn't understand what it's like to be deeply insecure about your appearance

No. 507327

File: 1580059106836.jpg (64.74 KB, 563x658, 1578847286905.jpg)

I'm kinda scared rn anons.
I met up with this guy a few days ago to have sex, and it was great and all, but I think he tore a hole in my vagina and it hasn't stopped bleeding since. I'm planning on going to the doctor in a few days but I'm scared I'll need to buy medication I can't really afford rn and I'm scared to tell the guy because I'm already embarrassed about some other things that happened that day (had an anxiety attack and started throwing up).
I just want to have a normal sex life, ugh.

No. 507352

i got groped so many times in high school by guys i don't know that it doesn't faze me anymore

No. 507357

Pretty sure that it would have already healed by now since the mucosa heals really fast. My guess is that you are experiencing ovulation bleeding, which is not super common, but it's harmless.

No. 507359

File: 1580067980258.png (434.38 KB, 633x634, Screen Shot 2020-01-26 at 19.4…)

I have the most obnoxious coworker. She loves to get into a debate with every single opinion I have.

I was talking about the conorovirus, but she started yapping how the chinese are the healthiest people in the world/live the longest, so whatever they're eating doesn't matter. The fact that the virus has most likely originated from the hideous environment of street markets means nothing to her.
Later I went on to discuss the new Louis Theroux Selling Sex documentary, and how its so sad that basically all girls in sex work have been abused/manipulated in the past and sex doesn't even mean anything to them anymore. But, oh, didn't I know? A vast majority of girls in sex work actually DO love it! They make so much money and love their jobs! Also, the majority of sex workers are college boys— I'm so fucking sick of her sticking her nose in all my conversations and trying to 'one up' me or some shit. You can't even debate her because whatever you say back she just goes 'But that isn't true. Nu-uhhh.'

And those are the more heavy topics, even just stupid non-consequential things, she has an opinion on it, and she knows best. Like, I barely drink fizzy drinks, but when I do, I only drink the diet versions. She'll immediately crane her head round to inform me that didn't I know??? Diet is worse for you than full-fat!- as she drinks her 5th full-fat coke of the day. LIKE FUCK OFF, you're grotesquely obese and commenting on what I'm having? Jeez. I'm just so fed up with her.

No. 507362

>Free immersive language program at my local college
>Free Microsoft training course in my city
The first is 'grant pending' and the second hasn't announced when it will be. I keep checking those sites everyday cause I really wanna do them and the suspense for the first one is killing me

No. 507366

i'm so sorry. have you told him yet? he might help with the payment hopefully

No. 507369

Someone on the internet called me a crybaby and I'm angry.

No. 507372

Either try to ignore her and push her out of conversations or let her spew her retarded opinions knowing everyone probably thinks she's a moron and is she's embarrassing herself.

No. 507375

my fiance has been begging me every single day to go to a cafe down the road and i told him no for like 2 weeks. we went today and the bitch who took our order was super rude. i get super anxious when ordering stuff and i'm indecisive. we told her we needed a minute but she was being super impatient my fiance and and i were talking about what we wanted and she heard me say the name of something on the menu and proceeded to act like i ordered it, even though we didn't tell her we were ready, then when i tried to tell her i didn't want that she completely ignored me. i'm so annoyed and stressed and feel like crying.

No. 507379

>trying to give advice to anyone

Cognitive dissonance at it's finest

No. 507380

She does sound rude, but I think you're letting it affect you too much. She's just some random bitchy girl you'll never see again. You think that's worth spilling any tears over?

No. 507381

Shut up you stupid crybaby

No. 507388

the crying is more cause of the situation. i didn't want to go and he kept pushing it, but i guess it's karma for him that now we won't go back. the coffee i got is shit too.

No. 507389

File: 1580074050950.jpg (199.58 KB, 670x534, 6548946548.jpg)

Living in America is fucking dystopian tbh. This country is too fucking big. We never needed this much space. I grew up in a small farming community in the northwest and used to be upset that there was nothing to do but I could walk everywhere and felt very, very safe – also the homeless problem was not nearly as bad, partially because they left for Seattle/Portland and partially because those that stayed were able to get help more easily because the community is small. Now I live in a larger city that isn't even that big and literally one of the main roads in the city that I drive on to get to work is lined with homeless on either side. It's really IS distressing. At work I get people coming in several times a day with items I know they didn't buy, with receipts they clearly dug out of the trash, and part of me wants to just let them steal from us because they clearly need money but I also don't want to perpetuate the drug problem in the area (and I don't want to get fired). I wish I could move to another country tbh but it seems unrealistic.

No. 507392


No. 507394

?? Karma for fucking what? Wanting to go to a cafe and preferring to go with his partner? Your bf did nothing wrong and you're sulking over literally nothing.

No. 507395


No. 507396

Go tweet something about androcide

No. 507397

Nta but you’re a good person, ty for spreading that love!

No. 507398

There's two types of homeless people and it's people who choose to be homeless and people who don't choose to be homeless
People who don't choose bust their asses trying to find jobs, survive, and keep themselves safe
People who choose to be homeless are the ones stealing, begging and doing petty shit for money

No. 507400

thank u.

No. 507402

File: 1580075393004.jpeg (18.7 KB, 600x315, E5894C14-D490-4486-B4DD-7F8802…)

I refuse to believe kobe bryant and his daughter is dead. I refuse. I refuse. I refuse.

No. 507403

File: 1580075519666.png (141.6 KB, 872x731, 444.png)

Idk anything about Kobe or the allegations against him
but I hate this ugly contrarian faggot mansbian and I'm glad he's finally getting shit on for something

No. 507412

I mean I've never understood making a habit of travelling by helicopter unless absolutely vital due to all the accidents but what the actual fuck is wrong with people who tweet shit like this after people just DIED without fault. Keep your dumb thoughts to yourself. Things like this is why I hate twitter.

No. 507413

If you lived in the LA area, you would wish you had a helicopter to travel pass the traffic.

No. 507419

their account is private now. too bad

No. 507424

Fair enough, can't relate.

No. 507429

Throw away the whole friend group

No. 507438

File: 1580080545062.png (278.23 KB, 372x500, 1568190329437.png)

I kind of wanna spill my life story out for some feedback but I also don't want to be embarassing because this shit ended up too long. maybe another day

No. 507441

When all else fails run to transphobia.I love how MEN can never be responsible for anything they say, even if they cosplay as women.

No. 507444

Also, a fellow young woman has died but who cares? Let me insert myself into some shit that is tragic as fuck.
I mean we could say the same, why say you are a "woman" and a "Lesbian" when you could just be a man who cross dresses?

If it's so dangerous to be trans, why be trans?(>>>2X)

No. 507452

File: 1580082894094.jpeg (29.09 KB, 400x293, 515BFC3F-CC6E-4441-BD96-74CDA7…)

y’all are welcome to call me all names I just need a place to vent, I’m one of them filthy illegal DA/C/A kids, I couldn’t afford the renewal fee and had my license suspended. Got pulled over a couple weeks ago my court date is tomorrow and if the judge wishes I could be put in removal process and be sent back to a place I have never been to since I was 6 months old, I am considering killing myself before the people that killed my grandparents and my dad do back in my shithole country tho xoxo

No. 507455

File: 1580083193571.png (60.82 KB, 275x183, A90DA163-5060-4F8D-ABF0-9D801B…)

idk why but Kobe’s death really stings me. hearing him and his 13 y/o daughter dying on the same day just killed me and I’ve never been a fan of basketball or sports in general but I do remember watching a little bit of him playing when I was little and seeing his death on the news fucking hurts cause like…it’s fucking Kobe!!!! Everybody knows him, even if you’re not a basketball fan!!

I feel so horrible for Vanessa, his wife. They’ve been together since they were 17 (I think) and they had a baby girl back in June

No. 507456

That's horrible, anon. I'm for fairly strict immigration but from what you say here I don't see why anyone would call you names. I hope things work out for you.

No. 507458

My body is dumpy as hell and it infuriates me to no bounds, despite the fact I have been every weight on the spectrum: chubby, muscular, even anorexic levels of thinness (diagnosed). No matter what, I keep fat in my abdominal area, EVEN WHEN FASTING AND RESTRICTING CALORIES, EVEN WHEN WORKING OUT. My abs could show, and I still feel fucking fat. I have a short/wide waist and narrow hips, while they still have some sort of spoon shape. I look like Kate Upton in the torso, minus the tits, or any tits at all. I literally have the worst body type.

Every time I open the web, Instagram, imageboards, you name it, I constantly see women who were blessed with these beautiful thick curves that most don't have to fight too hard to keep. I then have the men in my life compare me to them; I've been accused of "just being lazy" or "eating junk foods" when I was fasting and literally lost my period. It's frustrating because the guy I have a crush on, who's a bit chubby and most people here would call a neckbeard, doesn't even fucking notice me and his follows on Instagram are of girls with tiny waists, and not all of them are unnatural.

I feel so fucking defeated. I couldn't even enjoy porn when I used to watch it (feminist now) because every girl is shaped like a pear or hourglass, and I look like a frumpy toiletpaper tube, and I just knew no guy is every getting up to me.

I get accused of not putting myself out there, but when I do, the guy says he "needs more time to get to know me" which seems reasonable, until he asks out a chick he's only known a week because he's so wildly attracted to her. She's better built every fuckin' time.

No. 507461

thank you, anon. I haven’t been able to tell anyone in my life so i really appreciate your words

No. 507465

If my little opinion matters anon, you ARE an American citizen.
People who want to send you back are broken and sadistic persons and it's scary that they're in positions of authority.

No. 507466

Anon noooooo! I hope you get to stay at your home. Nobody deserves that. Sending good vibes from the west coast!

No. 507471

File: 1580086160338.jpeg (363.65 KB, 2048x1536, 5875D8D1-6094-47E6-881F-DA5505…)

I had the random urge to listen to the Life is Strange menu music today, big mistake. I played the game at the same time as my ex best friend and everything about it reminds me of her. Nostalgia is so bittersweet. All of these random memories just came flooding back.

No. 507472

I'm genuinely sad that Kobe died. I know everyone is like "everyone dies so what", but that still doesn't take away from the tragedy of it all.

No. 507473

>I then have the men in my life compare me to them
Ditch em, or walk away when they do this sis. It's 2020.

>just knew no guy is every getting up to me

They do. Don't put yourself down.

There's usually someone for everyone anon, but even if you wind up single than to be in bad company who makes you feel like shit about yourself.

No. 507474

Anon if you can, please try for a five year passport. I’m from a family of immigrants by the border and most of our cousins and friends have managed to live here while just using a passport for basic living necessities. Also its shorter wait time for a passport than a greencard and you can also have things under your name like insurance and bills while using it as an ID

No. 507479

did you read my post? he was bothering me to go because he wanted to go despite it being a place i wasn't into. we go to tons of cafes we both like and live together so it's not like it was a special date, he just was hyping it up even though i knew i didn't like it.

No. 507481

Yeah, I read your post and I still cannot fathom how someone is wronging you in even the slightest way by 'bothering' you to go to a cafe. Like, it's just a fucking cafe? Any normal person would just go without making a fuss because it's a minor inconvenience at worst.

No. 507483

why are you so mad?

No. 507485

I'm not the one who feels hard done by because they had to go to a cafe and felt pressured by a waiter

No. 507488

you're so offended lmao.

No. 507492

I agree. The bf did nothing wrong. He just wanted to share something with her. Partners do things they don't like for each other all the time. It's less than a day in her life, too.

No. 507496

NTA, you guys sound really bitter that you don't have boyfriends or something. If they live together this kind of shit isn't really special anymore like you think and is a weekly occurance at least.

No. 507498

>anon's fiance begs her to go somewhere he knows she doesn't like
>she goes anyway and they have a bad experience
>wao wut a b1tch!
>this is what virgins really believe
You're not going to steal her fiance guys, give it up.

No. 507501

I was taking an amazing lazy Sunday afternoon nap, when my dad came in my room to tell me that Kobe Bryant is dead. I really could care less. He was a shitty rapist who cheated on his wife. I feel bad for his 13 year old though. F

No. 507519

One of my close friends is kind of a cow lmao I have to come to terms with it.

No. 507521

I don't like that people are treating the coronavirus precautions as unnecessary and sensationalist. It is not. Measures like quarantine and closing borders are necessary. If no nations did this thousands of citizens would arrive and depart infected to go on and contaminate tremendous populations of people. Haven't these dumbfucks ever studied past influenza pandemics when leaders didn't fucking bother or because virology wasn't well understood? Hundreds of thousands to millions of people have died!

There's people mocking in the comments underneath US news stories about the five people who are confirmed infected and saying how the number is no big deal and how we shouldn't worry and how it's all a scam to give us a vaccine.
Yeah, right, okay. Even though more people would have been infected and dead by now if we all had treated this virus so flippantly.

No. 507523

Coworker asked me if I wanted to order food w her and of course i said yes, she asks if I could order it and she’ll send me the money. Asks literally everyone if they want food so I have to order for around 5 people even after i told her not to ask them because they never ask us. Total bill came to around 60 and she never payed me back. I’m not confrontational specially about money, but i’m so fucking broke and this is so inconsiderate of her. Fucking love my life.

No. 507528

>plays plague inc. once, is an epidemiologist

keep in mind that people who comment on news articles are in the 99th percentile for lunacy (and I would wager that none of them are responsible for containment of disease, closing borders, etc.). it's better for people to not be so worried about it then for everything to descend into chaos anyway.

No. 507532

Asking for her to pay you back for the food she expressly said she would pay for isn’t being confrontational, it’s just a normal thing anyone would do. Don’t sugarcoat it, don’t mention times are tough, don’t start with a “hey, just wondering, not sure if you forgot,” just ask for your money plain and simple. Don’t overthink it. You’re not being rude or annoying or anything.

No. 507533

We (Americans) don't travel abroad very often. Less than half of Americans own passports and fewer use them. The country is so giant and each state has it's own culture. It's easy to be a tourist in our own country. The consequence is we don't experience how other countries live, even as tourists, so we don't have much to compare the awful state of our freedums to. That's my theory for (part of) why we continue to put up with it.

We don't want to pay tax or vote for anyone who will put the funds in helpful places. There's a big mentality of "you need to do it yourself, nobody succeeds for free, it's your fault" and the only acceptable form of success being individual prosperity. Not very conducive for a working society. People would rather toss a few bucks to a panhandler and give themselves backpats than to give the same amount as tax to help the community as a whole. One is freedum of choice and the other is gubment theft.

With the accessibility of internet younger people know much more about the world without having to go abroad. They're likely to interact/make friends with people in other countries and learn about living conditions abroad. All of this information is readily available where before the vast majority of people gobbled up our skewed school history books and culture of patriotism. I think it's going to get better in the coming decades.

No. 507535

lol wot
To echo you, I recently spoke to a person who was disparaging the news for sensationalising these outbreaks; the whole fucking reason they just blow over is BECAUSE of these measures. I’d rather be ‘disappointed’ at bird and swine flu than be living in the post-apocalyptic aftermath of the plague that no one prevented. Personally I’m concerned that the numbers are slowly ticking upwards even if they’re in the low tens, it must be from the recent reading I did about AIDS. We LITERALLY have just lived past the point where somebody became patient zero for this thing, now I’m watching with concern and interest.

No. 507536

70 isn't low tens

No. 507542

Anon oh my god I played that game when I was pining after my best friend. The memories are bittersweet, she was such an angel in my eyes then. But we're no longer friends and all I got was ptsd.

No. 507545

>visits the armpit of the USA
>wonders why it sucks
Why do Europeans do this?
Honestly, imo, the best cities to visit in the USA are the ones that aren't directly the coast, whether it be the ocean or the Great Lakes.
Also, movieland America is nothing like real life America, lol. If movie!Canada was like real Canada, there would be much more gun violence and murder sprees. Movie!USA is more people putting the country through rose-tinted lenses because the fantasy is much more appealing than the reality.
Visit St. Louis, MO. It's my favorite place in the country. There's not much to do there but it's better than NYC, Hollywood, DC, SF, and Chicago combined just because it's a nice "normal" tourist spot.

No. 507551

File: 1580104264891.jpg (34.09 KB, 500x327, scary!.jpg)

i'm so paranoid about this coronavirus shit, it has had me trembling all day. i can't find a way to calm down. i'm so scared for all of these people and my family (and not to sound selfish but myself, too). i'm thankful for medicine and quick measures, but…i just hope good news comes of it soon.

No. 507554

all you need to know about america is you just called the 2nd richest city in your country "the armpit" when in any other country that would refer to some backwater tiny shithole town in the countryside tourists should obviously avoid

No. 507555

I am the clingiest, insecurest neediest bitch and it makes me absolutely unlovable
This year I want to work on improving myself

No. 507559

literally every city in the US is like this.

anon is just bitter you didn't visit the biggest ball of string in her flyover state.

No. 507564

I wonder if people know I have an Eating disorder. I could be 3 different BMI'S within a week. MY Work top hangs off me then 3 days later, I cant fit into it. I don't even know how it's possible. Lol. My body is so fucked up. I'm such a fucking loser. Deadbeat loser.

No. 507569

I was snooping around on one of my exfriend's Tumblr ( I know I'm fucking stupid) and I saw that she liked a couple of pro-ana posts which makes me really sad since she had a lot of issues with EDs when we were younger. It also upsets me because she chose the side if a manipulative friend that would constantly put her down and treat her like shit (not that i was any better, i usually followed the shitty friend's abuse because some fucked up part of my brain wanted her approval). And I'm just afraid that she's not being well taken care of since she's always been very hard on herself and she never really had a good support system.

No. 507570

They did Billy Elish dirty by having her play right before a band that's actually talented and fun to listen to.

No. 507576

File: 1580111920019.gif (193.07 KB, 480x291, A4BFBFB5-A830-45C3-9996-0D8028…)

Started crying this morning because I don't wanna go college so badly
I hate it so much

No. 507577

what was the band?

No. 507578

Nobody can gain and lose actual body fat in that time. You’re retaining and losing water weight rapidly (presumably due to binging and water loading during restriction)

No. 507581

We r literally in the same boat
How about I associate LIS with you instead
Yeah I'll do that don't break my heart anon

No. 507585

joining the bittersweet LiS memories train. Except I pulled a Max on my best friend and ghosted her after high school. She was toxic and I don't regret it but I still wonder what would have happened if we'd stayed best friends.

No. 507586

File: 1580113997114.jpeg (362.11 KB, 1110x1976, E4E83CB1-6451-4B3D-A9CE-FD43F4…)

Hi anons, I’m okay now. Thank you for your responses. You’re right I was overreacting. I just started my period today when I wasn’t expecting it, probably why I went batshit.

No. 507587

>I've been accused of "just being lazy" or "eating junk foods"

By who? How?

No. 507589

I pulled a Max on mine too. Sometimes I regret it, but looking back I think it was for the best. It was probably for the best in your case too. Nostalgia just blinds us and it's easy to focus on the good moments more than the bad. Honestly, if I hadn't known mine for as long as I have I'd feel a lot less melancholic about it.

No. 507590

It's ok anon, it happens to all of us!
I hope you're feeling better now ♥

No. 507597

This isn’t even really venting I don’t think, but I need to write this somewhere and if anybody has any advice, or just words of support that’d be cool. Tomorrow morning I’m going to the police station to talk to the police about my rapist.

Some background: September 2018 I was raped by a stranger who I’d only had a brief conversation with beforehand. I reported it immediately and did all the reports, re-enactments, health tests, swabs, DNA tests, fingerprints everything. I had contact with the police a couple weeks after that maybe, but then nothing from them until November 2019 when they called and said they found the guy and interviewed him but they just released him. I was so angry and upset I didn’t go talk to them right away even though they requested I do. But after the new year I decided to do it to at least ask some questions and hear what they have to say. I don’t want to regret never seeing what they have to say.

So tomorrow I’m going in. Alone. Before I had supper from my partner at the time but I don’t have a good relationship with them anymore. My boyfriend is working. He asked back in November when I told him if I wanted him to go with me but I said no because I don’t want to stress him out. He gets really, scarily angry (at the rapist) when I talk about my rape. So I’m going alone. Yesterday I was wearing a low cut top and my boyfriend told me I shouldn’t wear something like that so the police can’t use that against me. It hurt but it’s true. (Just to clarify my boyfriend doesn’t think low cut tops= rape but he’s worried the police will think so and not take my case seriously, blame me, etc) anyway I was kinda fine until now. I’m getting really nervous tonight.

No. 507599

I hate my hair so much I don't know what to do with it to make it actually look good

No. 507603

turns out they're all cheating on, fucking and insulting each other. Y'know what? Yeah I think I'm good.

No. 507612

You're amazing, anon. You're so brave and inspiring. Doing this all by yourself takes tons of courage.

No. 507622

good luck anon, im really rooting for you. i hope you're able to get at least a little bit of justice.

No. 507628

Anon, you’re so strong. You’re doing the right thing, I hope you can get your justice.

No. 507635

I'm in the study room in my college right now with some girls from my class, then this random guy walks in and starts doing push ups near us?? In the STUDY room
He keeps walking around and flicking light switches on and off

No. 507636

He’s so upset you girls aren’t paying him the attention he wants so he’s gonna be obnoxious and rude to punish you all.

Ask him to stop and he’ll get pissy.

No. 507638

That's exactly what it is. The other girls are giving him attention but I'm not even lookin at him. He keeps saying obnoxious edgy shit like 'cocaine helps you sleep better' ?? And making random noises wow I hate scrotes
Give them attention, they'll get worse
Give them no attention and they'll still pine for it
Hopefully he'll get tired soon

No. 507642

wait he's still going, how long has he been doing them

No. 507643

Oh wow what a tard. Nothing worse than the scrotes who are too stupid to notice their antics haven’t impressed anyone since they were 9. Hope he goes away to throw his tantrum soon.

No. 507644

Amusing when guys start to act like chimps in the wild. Doing anything to get the female's attentions.
I'd throw a banana at him.

No. 507646

God sometimes I don't know why i actually go on the internet sometimes…it's like almost everyone is constantly angry about something lol. The language is just so ugly and insulting all the time. It's so exhausting. People in real life are actually a blessing sometimes, you don't have to deal with that shit.

No. 507649

Just ignore him:

- You don't have to go reee
- He doesn't get validation for his behavior
- No vent needed

No. 507650

You're not giving him attention? How do you know what he's doing then?

No. 507660

My stepdad, who's currently going through a midlife crisis and getting a divorce from my mom, keeps going on tirades about the "younger generation" and millennials having no respect for him. Because unfortunately, he has become one of those older dumbfucks who thinks anything they say is treasured gold. Also that no one, especially not women, should disagree or ever have a right to be angry with them for what's said. He's always right, and everyone else is always wrong. It's not that he never takes responsibility, it's people like ME who never takes responsibility.

I'm so fucking sick of it. I never "Ok boomer"'d him or nothing. Yet all of the sudden he's being a fucking shit to me and whenever I get mad or disagree with him. He's gotta have his diatribe about how I'm an intrinsically disrespectful shit because of "my generation." HEAVEN FORBID though, that I called his generation ignorant once because he gave me out of touch job seeking advice when he thought I could trot my ass down to city hall, hand in my resume, and be handed a job in politics just like that–oh and don't forget to follow up with a phone call to some poor clueless secretary for a listing with thousands of applicants that's sorted by computer software before it even reaches a human!

Based on what he tells me, he's pissed lately because he has juniors on his team for a project and allegedly they're "disrespectful." They must not kowtow to him, and they probably dunk on him because he acts like a miserly geezer who can't handle anything. He thought he'd be in a corporate office by now making six figures, instead companies are giving younger guys with college credentials the promotions while he's still in the field training the rookies, so now he's all bitter and entitled. He's unlikable and based on what he tells me, is one of those power-tripping type leaders who thinks his coworkers don't have to like him.
So he's totally taking his feelings about the situation out on me. I'll never forgive him for some shit he's said to me. At my age he was a coke addict who never went to college and held menial jobs. My mom attempted to marry into not having to work, and was divorced at least two times by the time she was mid 30s–but at least she was college educated.
The truth is I'm so much more advanced than either of them were at my age and yet they can't give me any credit, just criticisms.

No. 507665

He did it for like a full hour lol
He took breaks from push ups ofc, just kept walking around doing random shit

Peripheral vision
I was just staring at my phone the whole time

No. 507679

File: 1580134330160.jpg (32.07 KB, 460x308, you died.jpg)

I love my cat to bits but her seemingly endless energy and constant need for entertainment is so tiring sometimes. I play with her everyday, she has toys, boxes, tunnels and shelves to climb on, she wrestles and runs around with my other cat quite often too, but I swear she runs on solar power and only needs to recharge for a couple of hours at night. How can such a tiny animal (she's slightly smaller and skinnier than the average cat) have so much energy? She's only two years old though, so I'm hoping she'll calm down with age.

No. 507713

Here for work, but i decided to make it a whole trip. And see that's the thing I don't get. You say it's your favourite city, but i don't see how that can be when you see that distressing shit daily. I think it would require an amazing ability to detach and ignore to enjoy yourself here.

And wouldn't this prevalence of homeless indicate an issue with the system as a whole? Like I said I've never seen something this bad anywhere else but really poor countries. But this is a well off country, and it's a well off area. And I'm here eating food that's by default too abundant while people are starving outside. I think it's a matter of the countries priorities and I think they're fucked.

No. 507722

Today is me and my bf's 10 year anniversary. We didn't get to celebrate last year due to living apart for studies, so I was really looking forward to celebrate this year with a lunch in the day and a movie after he comes home from work, just some chill time we had planned together.

My bf decided yesterday to start giving me the silent treatment for some reason. It continued this morning until he very grumpily came to mumble a "I guess you wanted to get lunch" to me while I was reading. I told him that it didn't seem like a good idea at the moment with the mood he was in and offered to let him talk about it instead, which prompted another "hmh" as he left the room without answering.

I've spent the last three hours at the gym just to give him some alone time. I came home before he went to work to check up on him and ask how he was doing, which resulted in yet another grunt without even making eye contact. He's at work now and I'm crying because he's chosen this day of all days to be mad at me for something I don't even know what is.

No. 507724

This entire thread is pissing me off. Europeans are morons if they're judging the quality of a 3+ million square mile country on a single liberal shithole city. "Hurr durr, it's the best because it's "wealthy." There is no real wealth in SanFran. The more money in a city, the shittier it is because it's a tourist trap, and a place people go to find work. They're the most corrupt and the numbers are a reflection of a high cost of living, not actual assets people have to improve the quality of life. That's like saying Moscow represents Russia, or Dubai the UAE.

Homeless are a problem because of drug usage, which is encouraged by our opiate culture. They have no place to recover, because Dems voted out permanent mental health facilities (psych wards). I was 51/50d and most people in there were homeless that were constantly in and out of that hospital because feefee fuckers decided it was unconstitutional to let them permanently reside there. They'll fake a mental breakdown so they'll have a place to stay for 3 days. INB4 "Institutions are corrupt" then fix them instead of getting rid of them entirely.


No. 507728

People like you make me embarrassed to be American.

No. 507729

ok this going to be a strange one BUT I'm fucking annoyed with the fact that I see so much vomit every morning on my way to work. I go by bus and walk a bit bc I have a bit of time and recently I've noticed that the area I walk has s o much vomit in every corner. What is happening there? Like today I witnessed at least seven new places where people hurled all over the sidewalk. This is just so fucking disgusting and annoying at the same time. There is every day a few new ones. People are so disgusting fuck.

No. 507730

Anon, I don't know what to say exactly, but you have my support and my love. I hope you can get something out of this, that he will be punished. I hope you can heal well and find peace and live well. Good luck.

No. 507734

Missed my period last month, not having sex so it's not pregnancy related. I'm due to start within the next few days or so, and have been feeling PMS'y with breast/nipple tenderness and crampiness, but I am worried that this one will skip too.

I lost a bit of weight due to exercise and dieting, so I don't know if this threw my cycle out of whack. Just super nervous, tbh. (I know stress won't help, but fuck).

No. 507736

I just found out my roommate has a bad cocaine problem and I'm really irritated and thrown off. I respected her a lot because she's older than me with a stable job, smart, good taste, good at cooking, a little chubby but generally takes
great care of herself.

It's starting to feel impossible to find normal people my age in this city (this might apply to every big city in the USA). Everyone's polyamorous, super horny, and addicted to party drugs–which, ok, do whatever you want, I'm not better than them or think they're untouchable degenerates, but it's really alienating and frustrating. I'm in a committed relationship and I hate drugs, I just want to bond with people (especially other women) over mutual interests, without having to get obnoxiously drunk and sit through them ranting about how their 8th tinder hookup of the week was a dud because men are trash yas girl etc. I could go on but I don't want to come off like I'm on my 'not like other girls' high horse about promiscuity or partying, I'm just sad and tired.

No. 507737

If you're doing heavy exercise then tone it down. Since you skipped your last one hopefully this one will come, even if late. Even if not, i wouldn't worry that much, i don't think it's that uncommon. If you don't get it though and have other symptoms maybe you should get a check.

No. 507738

Haven't taken a shower for a week now. Did nothing productive recently. I want to eat, sleep and die

No. 507752

Anon, you are incredible. It's the hardest thing in the world to do this and most rapes go unreported. the police are shits and i'm so sorry this happened to you, but even on rapist behind bars is one less monster women have to deal with. You can do it. i'm sending you all my positivity. you are incredible

No. 507754

File: 1580147712917.png (290.94 KB, 750x366, 1457039183077.png)

I need to go into work early on Wed to talk to my boss. I was promised when i first got hired three months ago 30 hours minimum a week. It's all emailed to me when i got hired. Now i'm getting skimped and working 20-25 hours a week. I am working in a bakery and was the main bake assist, and now they are training someone else other than me and suddenly my hours are getting cut. I texted my boss today about it and told her i cannot live on 25 hours a week, and it wasnt what we agreed on. My spouse is telling me to look for new jobs, but it's so frustrating because i like this job but now they're messing with me. She'll also give us the schedule too late for me to book days at my other job, so i'm screwed this entire week.

Wish me luck on wed, anons. I only work three days this week. It's not enough.

No. 507765

I gather she's trying to passive-aggressive push you out by creating the situation on purpose so you'll want to quit.
I don't view those circumstances as accidental and I would be so angry.

No. 507800

My dad was found dead and I am just gatherig all the info for the funeral and such, I feel unreal

No. 507801

So sorry anon. I wish you and your family strength for the time to come.

No. 507804

thanks, it's so needed right now

No. 507816

File: 1580157542693.jpg (186.19 KB, 700x1304, numnumnum.jpg)

I have no words anon. I'm so sorry. I love you and hope you'll make it through this. Here's a cute cat. I hope you'll feel better.

No. 507820


Sorry to hear that anon. Stay strong.

No. 507826

Jesus christ, anon. I'm sorry. I hope you heal from this well.

No. 507831

Do people who walk into rooms to annoy you become invisible?

No. 507836

Thank you anons i feel so stupid for posting that here but had to just make it seem real.

No. 507844

You're not stupid for posting it here. We're here for you.

No. 507845

I'm about to take the plane tomorrow to go to the other side of the planet for a year, I'm scared to death. It's the first time I'm taking the plane by myself and I've never taken it for more than 3 hours. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight so I'm just on my laptop right now.

No. 507846

I fucking hate my period. I'm so fucking bloated and my face is breaking out so much and I can't stop feeling such an intense need to eat things. FUCKK

No. 507856

My SIL is having a baby and she doesn’t fuckin deserve this. Deliberate pregnancy at more than double her healthy body weight and is prediabetic. Has not changed diet. Has not made any effort to be able to keep up with this child once it’s mobile, and is not planning on doing so.
Her partner does not want a baby and she knew it and did this anyway despite knowing he is not going to help at all. He has promised he will never change his own sons nappy or soothe him in the night and is very proud of this choice. Kid is gonna be neglected by dad and have Gilbert grapes mum and the family is all delighted like this is cute. It’s beyond nasty to say but the kid would be better off if she lost the pregnancy now than if it makes it.

No. 507862

Why is she doing it? Just curious. Sounds like a lot of self-harm and her thinking a baby will make her happier or give her a reason to live. Which it won't.

No. 507863

> Her partner does not want a baby and she knew it and did this anyway despite knowing he is not going to help at all. He has promised he will never change his own sons nappy or soothe him in the night and is very proud of this choice. Kid is gonna be neglected by dad

Your brother sounds like a real gem.

No. 507865

I hate when people are needy/clingy. I don't consider it the same as affectionate- I think I'm a pretty affectionate person to my family and close friends, but not to the point of being suffocating.
I'm venting about this because m online friend just won't leave me alone. We've talked for a long time, but he still really irritates me. He is SO needy. He's on a completely different timezone to me, yet is always online, always wants to chat.
I dunno, I could absently reblog something cute on tumblr, and he takes that as an invitation to start chatting for hours. I'm introverted af and honestly dont have the stamina/conversational topics to talk for that long. And when I don't reply to him, he starts guilt tripping me! He's a really nice person, and I do enjoy our talks when I'm in the mood, I wouldn't want to lose that friendship- but fucking hell. It feels kinda obsessive at times but I feel that might be too harsh a word.
I've vented about this before here, but lolcow is the one place he can't track me online, I just want to scroll in peace.

No. 507868

She’s wanted a kid since she was 17 and does not think this is weird. bro and her are highschool sweethearts who have spent a whole of two months with other people. This baby is partly retaliation for bro not proposing yet. She has said she resents his unwillingness to get married and have a family, so forcing it to happen should work.

Little bro is a gremlin with the biggest ego problem in the country. Anti-intellectual,anti-education, hardcore narcissism that was never corrected cause he’s the youngest. The last 7 years all I can think when I see or hear him is neck up.

No. 507872

>This baby is partly retaliation for bro not proposing yet.

I'm saying as gently as possible anon, but this baby happened because your brother decided to not wrap his winky before he stuck it in a woman he wants nothing to do with. I'm sure he's told you a lot of things about her, but just remember, he chose to fuck her and now there's a consequence.

No. 507876

To be fair she said she was on bc but wasn’t as well. It’s both of them. But thanks for telling me how babby gets made.

She has told our mother about the pill jacking and we siblings are not meant to know. Little bro should wrap shit but she shouldn’t deceive the dude she says she loves either. They’re both stupid and both don’t deserve the baby.

No. 507879

If you don’t want kids then you should take personal responsibility for your reproductive organs

No. 507882

He needed to wear a condom anyway. Hormonal birth control can still fail even if she was honest. Which is probably why most people tend to have a bond or at least like the partner they're fucking raw. Sorry but your brother was being a retarded cumbrain and he happened to shoot his shot into someone mentally ill.

Your whole family should tell him to man the fuck up and strap in his ass for the next 18 years. It's a costly mistake indeed.

No. 507885

Nobody is on his side or congratulating him on his plans to be an idiot. They have been together for 8 years, she’s not some random. They are both terrible people who do not deserve a baby. That’s the point. Not that either one is stupider than the other.

He’s too dumb to use a rubber, she’s too dumb to see he won’t magically be a dad, both are unhealthy and lazy as shit and this kid is gonna get fucked up. My bro and sil aren’t victims here.

No. 507887

You're missing the point. That is, your brother IS more stupid in this situation and he is an abject asshole. You're so vitriolic about this woman who stuck by your familial douchebag for 8 years of her god damn life and yet he never grew up. She's a stupid bitch for not having an abortion and dumping this sad sack, but I suspect one's not over 300 pounds and joyous over an unplanned pregnancy that she will be alone for because they're mentally sound.

What a fucking trainwreck.

No. 507896

The point is that neither of them have grown up. I feel sorry for her because she isn’t prepared for how shitty bro is going to be. Thinking she’s dumb doesn’t mean we haven’t helped her prepare and aren’t gonna be there to support her when bro inevitably fails because he’s pathetic.

The pregnancy was planned. That’s why her weight is upsetting. Neither have made a single lifestyle adjustment. She just stopped taking bc in secret. That’s not vitriolic it’s what she has told our mother. No different to dudes taking off the condom during sex.
It’s literally a planned saviour baby. The kid is gonna be fucked. The adults both suck but this baby is the one who’s life is gonna be ruined from the moment it’s out.

No. 507904

File: 1580175454792.png (308.12 KB, 500x614, 5af.png)

Sometimes i feel slightly sad about my country's violence/criminality problem and how it affects people, then i remember the child abuse/rape statistics and all the nightmare fuel stories i heard from my friends, family and almost everyone born in this hellhole included myself, then i get fueled by a rage that can only be appeased by seeing how miserable most adults here are. "WOW, why is everyone here SO violent and unstable??, it's almost like they were raised like animals" it's because it's literally like that. I'm sorry, but you don't plant ivy while expecting apple trees you assholes, you literally asked for this, you laughed and wanted to stay ignorant over your own kids suffering and deaths and this is what yall got. "But it's our culture :'(((" then don't fucking cry victim when shit goes down and your actions have consequences, don't fucking cry over "how violent our country is" when you are a feral, violent piece of shit yourself to beings who can't defend themselves and sometimes, can't even talk yet. I have 0 sympathy and everyone but some young people/kids are shit until proven otherwise. I'm sorry for the typos i just can't anymore, everyone is fucking mental here.

No. 507926

I'm so sick of the weather. It's so fucking hot and we don't have air con and the way this house is designed makes my room a literal sauna. I'm over it.

No. 507927

what's your country?

No. 507931

This probably isnt about rural Australia but it totally could be.
Do you have a fan? Set it up so it’s blowing under a tucked in sheet and hangout in the cool air. Stick some ice blocks under the fan and it will help cool the air down a little.

No. 507948

File: 1580185135426.jpg (27.57 KB, 540x577, internal-screaming-5a5157.jpg)

my dildo came in soft packaging and i wasn't there to get it so my dad just handed it to me, you can DEFINITELY feel it if you know what you're looking for i can only hope he's unaware enough to have not noticed, i really want to die right now

No. 507951

File: 1580185474626.jpg (475.88 KB, 1200x1467, 8KZRojf.jpg)

My worst was that one day I came home from classes and I found out that my sex toys had been touched…she had been in my drawers and washed them.

No. 507952

I laughed so hard from this anon LMAO.
I have ALSO had this happen to me and luckily my parents are pretty dumb about those kind of things and I passed it off as a perch thing for my bird.

No. 507954

I really needed the laugh anon. Sorry to get so much enjoyment from your shitty situation tho. Can’t even think of something dildo shaped to suggest as a cover story.

No. 507956

i'm sad

No. 507970

Say it's a new Wiimote or Playstation Move controller lol

No. 507978

My mom is so fucking stupid. Why did my doctor allow her to not give me the hpv vaccine when I was younger? I hope that getting it at age 23 will still help me avoid cervical cancer.

No. 507980

Apartment was trash
I withheld rent because there was stuff they needed to fix
I withheld rent the wrong way, so I was liable to being sued
I was sued
Week before court date, I was called by landlord saying the charges were dropped
Also told that I don't have to go to court, as in show up

I'm still going to show up, it just sucks that information about the legal system isn't as readily available as I'd like
The only reason I know anything about this stuff is because my aunt knows a bit about law and my job has legal services I can use