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No. 472904

Previous thread

No. 472906

File: 1571150354131.jpeg (126.31 KB, 800x1200, 47C4CFF2-39D6-4FB6-B510-C29B67…)

Am I the only one tired of this mans face? Why do we have a cult leader as the face of most threads?

No. 472940

Idk but I don't want to look at him anymore either. This board is too damn slow to have unappealing OP images we all have to look at for ages

No. 472942

File: 1571152678853.jpeg (400.04 KB, 1152x2048, D73340A2-12ED-495B-9FF1-4F095A…)

On Friday I got laid off. Hurts so bad. What the fuck do I do now

No. 472946

if you live in the US, apply for unemployment

No. 472960

Make sure you preoccupy your temporary free time so you don't get depressed.

No. 473001


That sucks. Apply for unemeployment and start job hunting. If you drive sign up for lyft or uber (if your car is shit you can still do uber eats). Its not great but its money and honestly it can be kind of a relief to have something to do. Decide on something you're gonna get really good at like cooking or drawing so that you don't go crazy in your free time.

No. 473050

I really hate it when the delivery men come to my office to drop stuff off and carelessly throw it on the desk or hand it off to me in a way where their body language just screams "can you hurry up? I'm obviously in a rush." Like instead of properly handing it over, they'll hold it with one limp hand, basically just tossing it at me. Is it too much to ask for a shred of decency? If you don't want to hand it off to me, just put it on the table (without throwing/slamming it!!) while you hand me the stupid machine to sign!

Fucking sheesh. On the other hand, there are two deliverymen who are always nice and say hello when they deliver stuff, so you win some, you lose some I guess.

No. 473064

FUCK my climbing shoes were supposed to be delivered today but I entered in my address too quick during checkout and didn't realize I didn't put in my apartment number so they're just sending the whole fuckign thing back!! I'm so mad because I've seen USPS leave people's packages and mail in front of the mailboxes if they don't have a specified apartment number on them but of course when it comes to my package they don't want to leave it!

No. 473131

samefag, I called the company in a panic to see if they could possibly do anything on their end (get my post office to hold it/have it sent to their physical store in my city so that I could go and pick it up) and the sweet representative I spoke to said that she would just sent out another pair for me, with 2 day shipping since I need them for this weekend. I got lucky too since there's only 3 pairs left in my size.

She was so nice even though it was definitely my own fault and I guess it's just basic "appease the customer" tactics, but fuck, she really turned my day around, I'm gonna send the company an e-mail.

No. 473135

i feel kind of edgy but i keep thinking about how marriage might not be the best option for me… i'm on the track to being a successful careerwoman, my goal is to be a partner for this firm, and i can't envision the benefits of potentially giving half my assets to someone if they fuck me over. prenups are a thing but i wonder if i won't just be the wealthy coldhearted spinster cruella deville looking bitch i was probably meant to be.

No. 473154

I'm not a career woman and won't earn a tonne but I'm STILL not getting married out of concern for my finances. Even if I didn't have to give away half my assets, there's always the chance I'd married a secret gambler, or someone with a tonne of debt, or who is likely to get scammed, or steals from our account and runs away with a 20 year old. That's not to mention the disastrous effect becoming a STAHM would have (if it turned out that way), especially if we got divorced.

I've spent a lot of time reading about financial disasters and men absolutely can be one. I just see them as a liability.

No. 473272

I don't get why people go to concerts if they're going to freak out about people getting too close to them. Some bitch got snippy with me because my hair was apparently too close to her face. One, I can't see behind me. Two, if you don't want people near you then you probably shouldn't be so close to the stage. I was even more pissed off because she pulled the "hey, sweetie" passive-aggressive bullshit. At least the performances were good but that annoyed the hell out of me. The older I get, the more I can't stand people.

No. 473273

I don't get why people go to concerts if they're going to freak out about people getting too close to them. Some bitch got snippy with me because my hair was apparently too close to her face. One, I can't see behind me. Two, if you don't want people near you then you probably shouldn't be so close to the stage. I was even more pissed off because she pulled the "hey, sweetie" passive-aggressive bullshit. At least the performances were good but that annoyed the hell out of me. The older I get, the more I can't stand people.

No. 473277

Long hair in your face at concerts is the fucking worst though, can't you plait it or something if you're planning on being in a crowd? Close contact is inevitable but that doesn't mean people can't be considerate of each other's space and comfort.

No. 473279

What this anon said, put your hair away it’s better for you too

No. 473280

File: 1571200700108.jpeg (1 MB, 1125x2062, A0E26771-FCC0-4D43-82D9-D359FE…)

Stressing over the environment is honestly going to kill me

No. 473287

My hair was twisted and tied with a rubber band. It would be one thing if I was moving around a lot but I was literally just standing waiting for the next set to start.

No. 473297

So I’m taking this seriously expensive class from one of the top digital effects and graphics schools in the area. The professor is going WAY too fucking fast for an introductory class to this software. He’s going so fast that I’ve noticed that the majority of people in the classroom are lost and confused at what to do. I tried to ask for help after class but he just fucking leaves the room as soon as the clock hits 10. I know he’s not obligated to stay longer but holy shit am I pissed. How the hell is anyone going to learn anything at the pace he’s going? The only people (maybe 3 out of 15) I’ve noticed who are keeping up are already pretty familiar with the software. I don’t know if I should just drop out and get a prorated refund or what but I seriously need to learn this stupid software for my job. I was hoping that for a school with that sort of reputation, I’d get a better learning experience.

No. 473304

>OP misnumbers the vent thread
>first post and an anon posts another braco pic
This thread is cursed

No. 473310

You could drop out but I'd also give a really candid review of the prof to the school.

No. 473313

I definitely plan on at least contacting the school about it before I make a final decision. Don’t know if it might also be worth it to suggest the professor to slow down since I know at least two other people are going to email him about it. I guess I’ll think about it some more.

No. 473319

My BDD is so bad at the moment. I feel really ugly, and have kinda fucked myself up after realising the pictures I take on my phone aren't realistic. I didn't realise that saving as previewed means it's just a mirror image. When my face is flipped (to look as how others would see it), I look monstrous.

I have strong feelings for my friend, and he reciprocates - but I'm too scared to show him my face.

No. 473325

It's normal lol. People are so used to their mirror image that real image always looks deformed af. Somebody who takes a lot of selfies will be used to both mirror and normal look and they're more confident.
If you look at photo of your face and flip it, it's guaranteed it will look ugly to you. It's like with flipping canvas when painting, it helps to find mistakes, but not many people know they should not use it sparingly and not every 5 minutes, because brain starts to exaggerate stuff that's just slightly asymetrical.

No. 473333

We're visiting my boyfriend's sister for a few days and her chewing and lip smacking is driving me insane. Not only does she keep her mouth wide open while chewing and smacking, but she will inhale a big gulp of air before biting into her food and breathe furiously out through her nose whole chewing. She's eating a piece of cheesy pizza now and somehow manages to make it sound like she's taking big, crunchy yet wet bites out of a chewy apple. And she will talk with food in her mouth.

I just don't understand. She's a smart woman otherwise, but anyone who lacks the ability to keep their mouth closed while eating must be kind of dumb, in my opinion. I can't tell her either, since we're not friendly enough to not make it weird.

No. 473396

File: 1571228443471.gif (973.74 KB, 500x281, lilo-on-floor-with-22leave-me-…)

i spent 20 mins this morning defrosting a banana and making the perfect smoothie only for me to rush out of my apartment to catch the bus (that showed up 3 mins later than it was supposed to) and left my smoothie outside my apt door. I know its not that big of a deal but im STILL upset about it. That was the last of my frozen fruit and yogurt. I just want to die. Im more mad that this has made me so mad lol. But i was so proud that I had enough time to make breakfast, lunch AND a smoothie for work only for me to leave my precious smoothie.

No. 473397

>period starts yesterday
>oh well my office is pretty lenient and they will probably let me work from home
>huge release for a product our customers have been screeching for for months
>oh well guess I'll go to the office and do my job at a steady pace
>salespeople are doing field work and they relegate every single small task on me stressing me out

Fuck. I'm usually grateful for having things to keep me busy but I'm having terrible cramps and my head feels fuzzy from the painkillers.

No. 473402

No idea what you were so offended by anon? Do you often overreact to such small things?

No. 473410

I just found out that my boyfriend’s parents pay his rent (he’s 21, in college, it’s still acceptable). It’s not a big deal that his parents pay his rent, but more that I thought he was super responsible with money. Every two weeks he ends up broke… and now I can’t figure out where his money is going. His dad just lost his job and he still feels comfortable letting them pay for his rent! Im just being salty cause I’m a middle class fag, my parents are paying for my education but expect A’s and B’s in return, I work, I save half of my paychecks because I’m fortunate enough to not have many expenses at this point in my life, have basically been hyper-aware of money since I was a kid during the recession, meanwhile my boyfriend went to private school, his family was untouched by the recession, and he’s letting his parents foot the bill after his dad lost his job, while also maintaining no savings of his own.

No. 473418

If he's as wealthy as you describe his family should be fine paying his rent, especially if he covers his other expenses.

No. 473419

File: 1571234096520.jpg (280.55 KB, 1280x1280, 1026cbe8-ebf1-4fda-8736-547b78…)

had this dumb poster presentation in uni abt my lab experience, almost ran there thru rain bc I left bit late, walked in the room, saw that there's like 30+ people there mingling, stood in the room for like 3 sec and promptly left.
1stly, why did I think I could ever do this, 2ndly, what the fuck is actually wrong w me. I was even kinda excited for it, like I picked a nice outfit and did my hair nice for maximum confidence points and look how it worked lmao.

am I legitimately retarded? I feel like this isn't normal teehee shy behaviour at this point. this semester fucking sucks. was thinking of getting kfc as a reward as I haven't had that in over a year but now I don't think I should plus I'm not sure if I could even manage to go in and order lol

also how do I get my poster now, i want it as a keepsake

No. 473427

I have hemorroids and it makes me very uncomfortable during sex. My bf says he never notices them when we are doing it but I know they are there and it mortifies me. I've had them since I was 17 and it's a curse.

No. 473494

File: 1571249435591.png (272.64 KB, 500x500, 20191016_111037.png)

I've had the urge for some reason to write my life story from beginning to now in greentext here on lolcow. I'm probably the most pathetic NEET on this site. I don't know why I want to do this so bad. I know I would be torn to bits by other farmers. Maybe I want someone to confirm how fucking pathetic I am. Part of me imagines the pity I might receive. I've thought about doing this many times. Probably the only reason I haven't is because I would probably kill myself eventually bc of the awful things ppl would undoubtedly say that I would know deep down are true. The other reason is bc it would be a very long story to type out and I don't have a computer/keyboard.
Feels good just to get that out.

No. 473501

You're neither fat nor a virgin, that alone already means that you're better off than the majority of us farmers.

No. 473502

I'm so weirdly offended that owning a dildo is on this

No. 473511

No. 473512

File: 1571253109009.jpg (20.36 KB, 500x282, tumblr_mkdl0ytxoJ1qc0qh0o1_500…)


I feel you anon, and i also doubt someone here is a bigger looser than me, i would actually tick all boxes of that bingo, except i don't have enough money to be an alcoholic, and technically, i do have a smartphone but the cancelled my phone service twice because nobody calls me and i don't call anyone, so after a few months they assume you are dead or something , i don't bother getting a new line anymore.

oh and i also don't have a porn collection, i seldom watch it. IT just makes me sad.

No. 473521

Thanks guys. I feel like it's even worse bc I'm smart and attractive and not even physically ill or anything and I'm still a huge waste of space. And of course in true nEET fashion, I place the blame on my parents for failing to prepare me for adulthood. Among other things. I may just take the plunge and write all my shit out. Idk

No. 473537

at some point you should stop blaming your parents for shit and put your big girl panties on and grow up, anon, the sooner the better before any of your good qualities stagnate/go bad as all that you've listed are ephemeral, saying this in the kindest way possible. so many "smart" people I've known have rotted their brains in a surprisingly short amount of time.

No. 473544

File: 1571256629294.jpeg (398.1 KB, 750x759, 1812F496-948A-4571-911C-A2BC34…)

Well damn I empathize

No. 473546

I feel like deleting people off my friends list sometimes, like today. Not having to think about them again is a nice thought, and they treat me like shit anyways. I'm always going to be bad at people. I'm just nothing. I have no filter or control over how people see me and that hasn't changed since I was a teen.

No. 473549

why do i find unattractive men really cute like … there's this guy from my friends class and he's asian, lanky and kinda has horse teeth and the full acne wombo combo (basically kind of ugly) but i still have a little crush on him and get all excited whenever i see him + i always defend him when my friends make fun of his looks.. this is pathetic

he basically emits incel energy but i don't even think he knows what that is. he's just your typical unattractive weeb and i am the biggest clown ever for having a crush on him. feel free to also clown me for this

No. 473554

You're totally right. I feel like I'm ready to let go of all that shit. Right on the precipice. I can feel the changes in my brain happening. But I'm stuck with no skills and low self-esteem from being 10 years behind my peers. I'm really starting to panic bc like you said, I'm approaching The Turning Point in age (imo) and if I don't get my shit together I really am going to be a hopeless loser for life. I wasn't supposed to be like this.

No. 473556

Because you assume that he'll be a caring and loving bf just because he's ugly, but usually guys like that are selfish and spergtastic

No. 473560

disagree. i think anon just gets excited because she thinks they'll be into her.

No. 473563

Either way it's low self esteem.

No. 473660

literally start with something super small and seemingly insignificant, i know people here harp on about volunteering but really do try it maybe! maybe ask at a shelter near you any local events/fairs. or like look into petsitting, you know, stuff like that. if you manage to do one thing out of your comfort zone, it will give you confidence to pursue something bigger (plus experience on cv kek) and so on and on. hated when my grandma used this phrase, but life really is like a set of stairs and you must only look upwards. just do something otherwise you'll be stuck on the brink of almost being ready for ten more years.

No. 473694

Fall's coming and all those goddamn stinkbugs are now coming in through the window ACs we haven't taken out yet. Last year when my parents took theirs out, there were over 15 of the fuckers in the room.

I just killed the first one I've seen in my room this year. I'm usually scared of bugs but I've seen these fuckers too often to be as much of a pansy. lol

No. 473710

I hate actually going shopping anywhere. There's only a few shops with nice/pleasant staff that I can think of off the top of my head. It honestly feels as if some shops requirement for employment is being a frigid bitch.

There's this art shop I go into occasionally, and from the moment you go in there's a weird as fuck atmosphere. Too many staff for too little customers, who all completely ignore you. It's as if they judge you the entire time you're there, even when you buy something they throw your stuff in bag without a second glance. There's this comic shop as well thats got the weirdest fucking staff, the moment you walk in, their faces are like you've served them a turd on a plate. It's so goddamn awkward! Is it that difficult to show a little customer service?

I work as a waitress and I know being at your work is shit. Customers are generally shit. Working in its entirety is all round, shit. But that's no excuse to be treating others badly for ~being in your presence~ Like get off your high horse, your behaviour is just deterring people from ever coming back again, jeopardising your job assholes.

Bit of a specific rant, but it kinda all boils down to thank god for the rise of internet shopping. You can find everything cheaper online than on the shitty high street anyway.

No. 473713

I feel this. I sometimes feel like we're hurdling full speed towards an apocalyptic hellscape in the next 10-20 years and it causes me such stress. I'm waiting to talk to someone about dealing with this stress (counsellor)

No. 473714

that sucks anon. I love my smoothies too

No. 473721

File: 1571281904851.jpeg (88.38 KB, 568x568, DsFZbQLXoAg9Uyp.jpeg)

if you feel you'd eventually kill yourself after doing it then that says to me you should absolutely not do it.

also, please try not to be so hard on yourself. I live a life that embarrasses me sometimes and would probably seem pathetic to most (hitting a fair amount of the Xs on the total loser bingo) but like I try to remind myself, you've really got to give yourself a break. I imagine you didn't set out to live a life like the one you do. start with trying not to call yourself a loser and pathetic. in fact, I'm gonna suggest the book 'you can heal your life' by Louise Hay, it might not be what you're looking for at all but I'm going to recommend it anyway because it helped me go from a suicidal wreck who spent 95% of my time repeating mantras in my head like 'I'm pathetic' to realising that shit was self sabotage and recovering from my depression. I hope you find ways to make your life suck less/love yourself, I mean this from my heart anon.

No. 473723

same wtf

No. 473725

can I recommended the Ex/Recovering NEET thread,Its a thread specifically to help people like us


No. 473731

File: 1571283259028.jpg (90.58 KB, 960x720, 1571264339872.jpg)


don't sweat over that racket.

No. 473735

Freaking creepy ass old man said some gross shit to me at work. I’m a grocery bagger and I was gathering carts outside and he said ‘hello sweety’ Yuck. And then he got in the line I bag in and said something about me making his grocery shopping ‘exciting’ while making small talk with the cashier. Then I had to offer carry out service bc it’s mandatory and he just smiled creepily at me and said it was ‘tempting’. So gross…I’m used to creepy old men but this was the first time it had happened right in front of others, including co-workers. I was uncomfortable the rest of the day…the cashier even said it was creepy so I feel like I’m not overreacting at least.

No. 473742

I waiting for my boyfriend to go to sleep (probably in another room I guess) so I can cry.

We were planning a date for tomorrow but I guess that's not gonna happen anymore.

I actually think he's gonna leave tomorrow morning without saying bye.

No. 473747

that's disingenuous, our understanding has advanced. not to mention we're all going to be doing a lot more sweating in the time to come

No. 473749

Im sure they thought the same thing though, anon.

No. 473750

File: 1571287439007.png (103.98 KB, 1067x620, 1571264225367.png)


ngos and scientific institutions living from subsidies have a vested financial (and political) interest in scaring the shit out of everyone with purposely hyperbolic disinformation. 10 years from now they will still be headlines about the impending doom in "x more years"

No. 473755

what financial/political interest do they have in scaring everyone? not disagreeing or being argumentative here, I genuinely do not know and I'm interested

No. 473758


pushing for carbon taxes, increase in government funding, public donations, market manipulation, marketing for new products and technologies, geopolitics, your usual human affairs.

No. 473768

I don't seem to have time for anything anymore. I get about 2 hours of free time a day, haven't had a full day off for the past two months. I'm stressed all the time. Headaches and constant sneezing are pretty common and during exam periods I get stomach aches that keep me up and kill my concentration. I also have to finish my essays for transferring into a university.
Life just really sucks now. I just have to endure until the next semester where I'll take less units.

No. 473769

File: 1571290199804.jpeg (15.13 KB, 265x190, 1481500839481.jpeg)

when i was about 5 i went from extrovert happy kid to very shy and angry
but specially with grown men i couldn't even look them in the eyes or said a word to them, the only exception was my dad, even with my uncles i just couldn't even said hello to them, i was so full with shame that i didn't even understand
i always tough it was just my personality and as i grow older i learned to overcome it
now im 24 and these memories of me playing with one of my uncles had somehow surfaced : he was laying in bed and he told to come play "horse" in his lap and i just sat on his pelvis and started "riding"
i don't remember being sad or anything but it was a weird game and the fact that we were alone idk
it just make me wonder it something bad happen and i just repressed it until now, just like this random memory that has now resurfaced and maybe that's the explanation for my change of behaviour as a kid and other things…

No. 473777

one of my closer friends is getting really deep into the genderspecial identity bs. it's to the point where i see her post about declaring herself "non-binary", hating being referred to by feminine honorifics and pronouns, and wanting to get top surgery. i can't help but feel that this is all just internalized misogyny on her end as the feeling i get from her loathing of female pronouns and honorifics is that she finds them inherently demeaning. wish i could be truthful to her and tell her that her view of gender is backwards and that there is nothing wrong with being a gender non-conforming woman but all i can really do is stay quiet about it.

No. 473780

why the FUCK do i fucking smell like onions?
why do i get smelly during the colder months? my skin and lips get dry as hell and i have to drink double the amount of water to even be a little more hydrated, but still i'm chapped and ashy, so why do i smell like i ran a marathon? i was able to go 3-4 days without bathing during the warmer months, but now i can't go 2 days because i just start giving off an onion/garlic smell. my boyfriend is just glad i don't smell like BO and i smell like food instead, but jesus christ. why me? lol

No. 473787

Most people (who aren't in poverty obviously) shower daily and would feel/be smelly if they showered every other day instead. Especially if you have a partner, isn't it hard to be intimate if you don't shower daily?

No. 473790

not to be a filthy rat but imo showering every day, unless you're legit sweating, is a bit of an overkill for your skin.

No. 473815

This person is talking about how bad they smell and how their bf has noticed it?? Yes, better hygiene sounds necessary here

No. 473817

you must smell bad

No. 473820

Depends on if you're a grease ball or not.
And one can be both greasy and dry.

No. 473821

Your body overclocks the grease because you go too far with the showers.
Literally anything is bad in excess.

No. 473822

i totally fucked my exam and want to kill myself AAAAAAAAAAAAA all that work for nothing i want to kill myself

No. 473824

The original anon that posted has a problem where she smells and showers either every two days or four days, why are we talking about over-showering? she clearly isn't overdoing it

No. 473827

File: 1571313302468.jpg (55.69 KB, 704x639, 1571010984612.jpg)

My period hurt like hell last night with tight cramps and nausea and now I'm having liquid diarrhea. I hate being a woman.

No. 473831

There's this fat bitch at my new job and I hate her so much.

No. 473852

bearing in mind she can get away with showering even more rarely during the summer, it seems like her getting smellier quicker is the issue and not showering frequency and I was just responding to the anon that implied that it was. maybe it's due to seasonal changes in her diet/some wierd seasonal vitamin thing? like my earlobes and nostrils get really dry and painful during winter, something akin to that maybe?

I think teeth appearnace, showering frequency and flushable wipe usage are the 3 cornerstones of lolcow cultural clash kek

No. 473853

Try taking quick showers daily instead of soaking in your own mess twice a week… Just imagening that makes me feel yucky

No. 473856

when i was younger, i knew this guy who had illegal pornography on his hard drive. i was recently reminded of his existence again when i saw he was still doing his same abusive shit. i really wish had i not been so ignorant, that i reported him way back when i found his shit.

No. 473884

Most people go outside (where it smells) and poop every day, so they should shower every day too. Also it's only bad for your skin if you're taking long ass showers in very hot water, which in that case you can just apply lotion

No. 473894

It might be your diet. I came to India a month ago and I already smell like the locals because I only eat local food. I started noticing my BO on really long hikes and wondered who it was until realising that oh wait, it's me.

No. 473900

This. Most people I've known intimately had a morning routine of showering after they poop. Whenever I'm in a relationship I keep to that routine too cos ya know, sex, oral sex..

No. 473904

I don't think it's necessary to shower every day but I also think most people should be well aware when they need to shower. If you're getting smellier during the winter then shower more. There's no rule that says you have to stick to one bathing routine.

No. 473911

File: 1571337999666.jpg (41.33 KB, 551x350, t924TSJ.jpg)

no offense but you bitches are gross. I bet when you do shower its probably just with your hands and you probably dont even wash your legs or your feet. I get missing a day but anything more than 2 you clearly dont love yourself or anyone around you. Just nasty.

No. 473938

How is it nasty.. I wash often, not those anons, but washing with hands isn’t that bad. You really drank the kool-aid, hmmm?

No. 473943

Or maybe they have actual healthy diets and don't eat McDonald's every day therefore don't stink when they step up five stairs

No. 473949

There is no excuse for not showering daily. Its disgusting that it even needs to be stated. You might not think you smell, but that doesn't mean you don't. Most likely you're just too used to you're own stink to be able to smell it.

No. 473956

This, I eat relatively clean, only drink water, and make majority of my food at home mostly because I'm a poorfag, but I'm able to shower every 3 days. No one has complained about me stinking. I even asked a few close friends to be honest with me because I thought I should stink at least a little because I know I'm lazy, but they have said I'm fine and should be grateful I don't have to waste as much water each day lol

No. 473958

You just sound ignorant tbh, if you have a good diet you most likely won't smell bad after a few days of not showering, not to mention it's bad for your skin and the more you shower the more you damage your skin and pretty much train your body to get dirter, similar to how the more you wash your hair the faster and oiler it gets

Please learn how human bodies work before you run around sprouting ignorant stuff like this

No. 473963

File: 1571341816841.png (239.56 KB, 2000x2000, 93e66d7f-78dc-4542-85ed-1d26cc…)

Whatever you say, stinky. You're lazy and that is all there is to it.

No. 473966

>Ignoring scientific facts and refusing to even try to comprehend
Don't you have middle school to go to?

No. 473974

>was about to support the "you only need to shower every 2 days"
>remembered most of the world doesn't have bidets and thus goes around with their ass unwashed
Actually, never mind…

No. 473977

Well yeah obviously wash your ass but showering daily is actually bad for your skin


No. 473981

From what I've read it's fairly agreed upon that unless you've worked out or otherwise sweat more than most/usual it's completely fine to shower every other day and that it's even good for your skin to get that break from the hot water. More than that and you're kinda risking it depending on your personal skin bacteria and sweat flow, but our culture has become a bit over-anxious about hygiene. Your ass isn't gonna reek from one day without showering. Just wet some toilet paper if you've had a particularly big dump lol

No. 473994

Yeah when you look like a fat cunt like that you’ll stink for sure

No. 473997

Considering the topic of loofahs and such, unless you store them dry and throw them out and replace them max. every four weeks they're way worse than just using your hands. That shit can harbor bacteria real quick.

No. 474005

That's because people aren't close enough to smell you. If you are intimate with anyone, or at least close enough to be hugging/kissing, believe me, they're gonna notice. At least wash your genitals, ass, underarms, feet, and get out. You don't have to be in there for more than a couple minutes.

No. 474009

My boyfriend sent me a text earlier complaining about someone making a noise in the library, realized on his way out that it was a profoundly disabled person, and when I handled it sensitively and told him he wasn’t a dick, he just needs to use this as a learning experience to be more empathetic in the future, he ignored my text for 2 hours and then completely changed the topic, not even acknowledging that I sent a longass text being way nicer to him than I could’ve been. Now he has the gall to ask me if I’m having a good day because my texts are a bit shorter now. I’m so fucking frustrated, his lack of empathy is a whole other issue because it never even crossed his mind that it was a disabled person cause as he put it “ive never been in a situation like that before” , which I realized him going to private school = him never having to interact with disabled people, or even have them in the same building as him. Why do I feel like I have to teach a grown man empathy?? He’s been out of high school for 3 years now but being in private school socially stunted him to the point where he doesn’t know how to interact with people unlike him.

No. 474013

I hate my speaking voice for many reasons but the main one is it naturally sounds so sarcastic. I remeber someone said that once to me. I never usually speak in my real voice because of anxiety and extreme low self esteem which makes it very high pitched and weird as well. I hate it.

No. 474015

Anon, I don’t think that has to do much with private school, my bf was homeschooled
and he often sounds exactly like yours, down to the changing the subjects and “wondering” what’s wrong. IMO you’re either not born with empathy or something messed you up as a kid and stunted the emotional growth. My cousin went to private school and I remember him showing huge amount of empathy for even strangers when he was 8, now he has grown into a really kind person. Anecdotal evidence but yeah, as I said, I don’t think private school killed empathy in him.

No. 474020

This “environmental” protest in London today was absolutely Fucking useless not only did they stop electric trains (which are better for the environment and made the majority trying to get to work use cars, busses and taxis that do more harm) they put themselves and the staff of the stations in serious danger if they’d fallen on to the live wire they’d of died almost immediately, stopped people who live in one of the most working class areas who live paycheque to paycheque and overall damaged the reputation of their cause, it honestly disgusts me that these cunts though they were so special they could go against the advice of the main group and do this and now they’ve lost most of the support of the general public not to mention the police are now actively gathering more intel so they can be ahead of the protests due to the protesters putting themselves and others in harms way and putting more people toward arresting the protesters, one of the cunts tried to kick a guy in the head who was trying to get him down so people could go to work of course the crowd dragged him down and curbstomped the cunt, thing is I myself understand why they’re protesting but there are ways to have your voice heard and protest peacefully without making yourself look like a fucking idiot and putting yourself and others in danger, people aren’t going to see the bigger picture if you’re an arsehole about it or even want to support you. All they have done is completely lose support and damage their reputation

No. 474021

wow anon, you sound like me. i am similar but was always shy, but i was especially shy with men. i get paranoid that something did happen to me to make me fucked up and wonder if memories will resurface. sorry you had to deal with remembering something fucked up like that.

No. 474024

I don't think being annoyed that a disabled person was disruptive means someone lacks empathy. It's normal to be aggravated when designated quiet places are noisy. It's like being annoyed at a crying baby in a restaurant; it's not the baby's fault but it still sucks. Unless your bf was saying shit like "we should just ban all disabled people from public spaces they're so annoying amirite" or being a dick to said disabled person/their caregivers, he's fine.

And honestly if my bf's response to me beningly complaining, via text to him and only him, was a lecture about how I lack empathy, I'd ignore him too.

No. 474028

My boyfriend found a vape pen left behind at a McDonalds and instead of giving it to one of the workers there, he brought it with him home and said he "maybe" intends to use it after cleaning it. I'm disappointed lol.

No. 474032

anon, i don't think complaining quietly to you is a lack of empathy. especially not sense he didn't realize at the time.

No. 474033

Thanks for weighing in, I realize now how my post sounds because I was typing it while still really angry, I get quietly complaining but this is the third time in the past few days that he’s texted me about people around him being disruptive in ways they can’t help— he texts me if people are coughing in class, he texts me if someone sitting next to him is breathing loudly. I realize it totally sounds like this was an isolated issue I blew out of proportion! I guess I’ve just felt bad that these people can’t help what they’re doing but someone is harboring enough resentment to them to go out of their way to text someone about it.

No. 474034

i still think you're over-reacting. it's natural to complain about people especially if you're already not really too thrilled. is he complainy otherwise if so this could be part of it.

No. 474035

This guy sounds like he has misophonia or something, certain sounds drive me crazy especially if I'm trying to concentrate

No. 474044

He might be really sensitive to noises or something, my boyfriend has ADHD and he literally cannot stand any "out of the ordinary" or repetitive sounds because they distract him so much. As long as he's not being an asshole to the people in question or giving them the stink eye for coughing I don't think it's a big deal. Texting your partner about being annoyed at a stranger isn't malicious.

No. 474046

tbh anon sounds weirder than her bf.

No. 474070

So I grew up in a heavily ethnic area for most of my life. Naturally I picked up Ebonics as my speech pattern at school and used it in every day life. I'm white but nobody gave a shit about it because… it was normal. We ALL spoke like that and it didn't matter.
I moved out into a better area ~10 years ago and heavily monitor my accent but sometimes it slips out when I least expect it, and I've gotten some really fucking nasty looks from a few people I work with when it does.

I know to them it looks like a white girl appropriating black speech but I can't fucking change how I grew up and I just want to scream at them when they look down at me. I've had people give me horrible looks across the room while they sit in their little group and whisper and sneer. I've never even spoken to most of them, but once someone heard me do it, shit just took off.

I fucking hate people gate keeping a god damn speech pattern/accent. I wish I'd never picked it up in the first place.

No. 474071

I just fully realized the extent of how much my ex affected my sense of humor. Even though he was a scumbag who was violent toward me and even his own mother, he had one redeeming quality: he was funny as fuck. I still sometimes find myself laughing at his stupid and deranged jokes. His sense of humor really rubbed off on me and I find myself making jokes similar in vein to his. However, as I remember how much hurt he inflicted on me, I start getting disgusted with myself for even being anything like him. This was a guy who tormented me with his violent thoughts and actions, constantly lied to me, and even killed one of my pet rats (albeit accidentally but he never showed actual remorse for it). I thought I was over him but maybe I’m not.

No. 474078

god this probably isn't funny but I also have a shitty ex who I feel similarly about. once he worked me up into thinking he was going to send me a dick pic. (like being really flirty and then I suddenly got an image so more like being lead to assume) and it was a picture of him holding a guinea pig like a microphone? like he was pretending to be a rockstar? and I think about it all the time

No. 474114

Ew wtf does it have a replaceable mouth piece at least? Bitch tell him you won't ever kiss him again

No. 474117

most vape pens use removable mouth pieces and carts so it doesn't seem that big of a deal. you're mostly buying the heating element for it.

No. 474124

At least I’m not alone in still laughing at a shitty ex’s jokes. They’re basically the only memories with him I have any positive feelings about at this point.

No. 474138

A lot of people will focus on the positive qualities of an ex even if they were shit. It's like the brain's defense mechanism after a break up because it distracts from the pain of what a gigantic fucking disappointment that person was. This doesn't mean you're not over him, but probably have more healing to do.

No. 474144

You’re right. I would never in a million years go back to him but his impact on my psyche is still apparent even though it’s been over a year since I last spoke a single word to him. Guess it’s something to bring up more in therapy next time..

No. 474161


I think the reason he took it in the first place is because he's kinda wanted to vape but not enough to use money on it so this was his chance, I guess. I doubt he'll spend any effort on finding new parts for the model in question. I was just a bit disappointed he took it in the first place since the person who forgot it could've tried going back to the McDonalds. He has ADHD and has lost his phone and other belongings so many times - occasionally getting them back only due to luck or strangers holding on to it, he should know a bit better.

Since I'm already posting boyfriend in question is really sweet to me, but I generally avoid talking too much about my mental health with him lately. Sometimes I'll mention I'm struggling really bad and he'll kinda go "don't we all?" and it frustrates me a bit because… no. Of course everyone has bad days and moods, but not everyone struggles with actual disorders and that attitude feels a bit belittling to me. Or I'll say I'm struggling with self-harm more again and his response is "Still?" In his defense he does also give me some comforting words as well when I need it. We have a lot in common and he's such a sweetheart, but he's had quite a different upbringing and life-experience from me and sometimes it makes me feel a bit distanced from him. Can anyone relate to this?

No. 474178

I know why I haven't been in a relationship (introvert, depressed, can't dance, don't know karate), but it's still frustrating that I couldn't be one of those people who just ends up in a relationship out of nowhere
That someone and I couldn't just have a magnetic attraction to where we wanted to be together despite other stuff in our lives

I feel like I shouldn't have to be perfect, or at least to a point where other people insist that I have to work on myself to start dating, to be with someone who cares about me

I'd feel a lot better about knowing that I could achieve more in my life if I could prove to myself that I won't be alone
what's the point of learning to be okay with being alone if you still want to be with someone–the two concepts aren't mutually exclusive

No. 474181

People obsessed with babies are weird af, especially when they say shit like "I love little babies, but I don't like childrens or teenagers".
Uh, okay so you love them when they have zero personality and can only eat, shit and love you, but once they start getting a personality, can talk back and are becoming "real humans" it's over. That's creepy.

No. 474183

I hate how men involved in my life can never let me be frustrated as a woman in the workforce. Both my stepdad and male coworker have been such shits to me lately regarding my job hunt situation, and neither of them have got a fucking clue what it's like.

My recruiter called me today to inform me that the contract that they were negotiating with the hiring manager for a local company is going to pay me two dollars less an hour (a net loss of over $4k a year) than they originally promised. Putting me at a wage that I started with almost four years ago, and less than what I currently make at the job I'm about to depart.
I have a choice to accept a different job offer that would pay me a dollar more per hour than what I currently make, but it would involve a 40 minute commute one way every day. Essentially eating the extra money I would make in gas and unpaid commute time.
What kills me is that the job that offered to pay me that shit wage actually is very busy and requires a lot of responsibility in addition to personal liability. It's a blood plasma QA job, and these blood companies make a literal killing off people. It's nothing but pure greed on the company's part.

Of course I'm very frustrated about this. Had I never tried to get an education (2 college degrees and 6 years of schooling), or never worked a day in my life (been working since 2009) then it would be one thing for me to suddenly complain.
I want to get out of debt, start saving money, and possibly entertain the thought of starting a family, but I can't do any of that. I'm living paycheck to paycheck and I've fucking had it, I've seen none of my work and sacrifice pay off so far. In fact now it's going the opposite direction!
I want to die yet every time I vent about this issue some male feels compelled to explain to me what's really what and how I just need to settle for this garbage. I guess they assume I have some other male to get married to and financially support me–so why don't I just settle for shit jobs?–but I don't.
My asshole boomer stepdad made me feel even worse by saying platitudes like "Hurr what's yer five year plan where u wanna be?" Well gee dad, I'd love to think about a fucking career goal but these employers think two degrees + ten years of work experience = entry level, soooooo I'm not really sure what I'll get out of five more years at these companies. Who promise upward mobility but can't seem to deliver on that, nor start me out at a respectable rate.
Oh, and of course my stepdad holds no advanced degrees and has never stayed at a single company for more than five years of his life. Yet he knows best, and how dare I think otherwise.

I'm probably just too frustrated right now but sometimes I ask why I even bothered if this was going to be the outcome? It's just slavery with extra steps.

No. 474185

>introvert, depressed, can't dance, don't know karate
Surprised a kek out of me

Anyway you don't have to be perfect to get a relationship, but it sounds like you're expecting to naturally fall into a meetcute romcom situation with that expectation for 'magnetic attraction'. Maybe that's realistic for 10/10s with busy social lives but the rest of us just have to go on tinder.

No. 474188

Trust your gut. They're creepy because they're creeps. People love the idea of little dolls who they can control and project their own wants and personalities onto. Babies and toddlers will be endlessly attached and satisfied over whatever scraps are thrown at them.
Older children and teenagers are more "difficult" because they demand shit like respect and recognition of their own wants and needs.

No. 474199

>meetcute romcom situation with that expectation for 'magnetic attraction'
That would be cute, but no
I know my best shot is through tinder, bumble, or any other slowly dying dating site that isn't tinder
I just wish that there was someone that I really enjoyed talking to to the point where I just knew it was someone I would end up wanting to spend a lot of time with–I just want it to click in to place where I just start feeling the right way about the right person
I've had it before, but it didn't turn into anything real
I want something real

No. 474219

I have the stupidest, biggest fucking crush on this guy that doesn't like me back (he said he was talking to someone a few months ago) and every time I almost get over him he does some fucking flirty shit that makes me crush on him again!! Even though I know he probably doesn't like me and is just fucking around since he knew I liked him. But even my friends are like "He's only like this with you/He was only looking at you/etc"

At this point I'm just angry lol I want this stupid crush to go away since it won't lead to anything and it's driving me crazy, but it's like the more I try and force myself to get over him the more it stays. Help me anons

No. 474227

I had a sex dream a little while ago where I had a threesome with Jenna Marbles and her boyfriend and it was REALLY fucking hot and now I feel weird. I've never thought about them sexually ever so I have no idea why I dreamt about them. Now I feel super dirty whenever their videos pop up or I see a tweet or IG post from them like I did something wrong lmao.

No. 474233

ive had sex dreams about people i loathe as well as family (wtf brain), the brain just conjures up a series of images, dreams dont really mean anything

No. 474235

I've been giving Insulin, I changed the I injection site, and all that other bull shit, but my blood sugar has been literally been stuck at 250. Its been 250 for literally 7 hours and I dont know what to do.

No. 474242

He's aware of your feelings and is doing it on purpose to feed his ego. Honestly that type of behavior would make me despise someone for how despicable they are, idk how you can maintain your crush knowing he does things like that to you.

No. 474247

I tried to cheer my bf up today before work this morning by hugging him for a few minutes since he randomly remembered something bad. He looked comfy and peaceful af then he saw the time (plenty before he was to leave) and wriggled away from me and started going about his stuff and doing unnecessary chores without a word to me, head down, before leaving early and I‘m like well fuck, you‘re welcome for trying to make you feel better, jesus.

It‘s just fucking annoying to reach out to someone, try help them feel better and they‘re just like "k done, bye" as if I was a mother cheering her kid up. I just sat there kind of astounded and annoyed. AND we usually message each other hourly or so once he‘s off to work, but with me not initiating it‘s almost the end of his work day and he hasn‘t said a word.

I wish I had a job so I could redirect my energy to something worthwhile, but I‘m just sitting here frustrated and confused and wanting to just send him a fuck you text.

No. 474248

He sounds resentful about something. Randomly doing chores before work in the morning and ignoring you the entire day clearly isn't about the one bad thing he thought about while waking up today.

No. 474250

I've dated this kind of guy, there's a expiration date on any relationship where one partner goes into silent treatment mode and the other sits there worried by it all day, you sitting there worried is exactly what he wants

No. 474251

>ex says he won't date anymore ever, the breakup hurt him too much
>6-7 months pass
>he's dating someone else

Lmao, I'm salty that the whole thing hurts me more than him, especially after staying "friends" through the whole thing.

No. 474252

>I'm salty that the whole thing hurts me more than him
As it was always intended. Men who say that are politely declining you without flat out saying they're rejecting you.

No. 474254

>idk how you can maintain your crush knowing he does things like that to you.
Halo effect

No. 474259

Yeah I figured as much, he was acting quiet yesterday night but I didn't prod because my therapist encouraged me not to waste energy on guessing what's wrong, but as I feared he just drifts further away when I leave it alone but don't pretend everything is fine. Like bitch i care, what's wrong and what the fuck do you want. Its close to giving me a panic attack because I stooped to texting him first but he hasnt got back to me despite it normally taking minutes.

No. 474262

How much of your time do you want to willingly spend in a relationship this miserable?

No. 474273

So long as I'm financially dependent on him, anon. I noticed it was all a bit fucky recently, so we're getting professional help and if he's better by the time I can sustain myself then nice. Otherwise,yeah I'm done (I hope I can keep up that strength when it comes to making the final decision tbh).

I know it's a shitty place to be, but just venting.

No. 474276

Been there sadly. He paid the rent so he got to treat me like shit and make the anxiety problems that I already had- ten times worse

You would never dream of treating him the same way cos he holds the power of money over you.. maybe he resents the financial situation but he is also using that power to mistreat you

I hope you find a way out and that you keep some sanity, those games will drive you nuts the longer that they go on

No. 474284

I just met this random guy in the train and we exchanged phone numbers, and I already have the feeling that he's into me by the emoji's that he sends. It just sucks that you can't just meet a guy without having to tell him you have a boyfriend within the first ten minutes. This is why I believe men and women can't be friends (of course there are exeptions) I want to tell him I have a boyfriend but I'm afraid that he's just gonna ditch me instead of being friends

No. 474288

I'm so fucking sick of seeing people receive free shit from companies. Like oh cool, companies don't only give free shit to rich celebrities anymore! They also give shit out for free to rich influencers now too! Fuck you. I unfollow/unsubscribe now from people who mainly post cute shit that they didn't even have to curate, but were given for free.

No. 474293

You can't get mad at him for not feeling better because you wanted him to feel better–that's not fair and you can't make someone automatically feel better with a huge

I remember going through a depressive episode, my mom hugged me for 30 minutes straight and at the end she said "Well nevermind then, shit" because I didn't say anything once she was done

Are you being affectionate because you want him to feel better or are you being affectionate because you don't want to deal with his affection?
Because you shouldn't be considering sending him a fuck you text because his attitude wasn't fixed with a hug

If this wasn't a vent thread, I'd say "let him be mad, but if it lasts for a while that's when you need to talk"

No. 474294


Thanks for the support anons. I really appreciate it

No. 474295

*don't want to deal with his attitude

No. 474296

I hope everything works out for you anon

I hope you actually tell him you're interested in being friends directly because I would say if he doesn't stick around he never actually wanted to be friends

No. 474301

If you're on the verge of panic attacks is it possible for you to move somewhere (back with parents maybe) so the intensity of his moods isn't impacting you so much. If you're waiting at home for him all day it's hard to get your mind off the situation. Sometimes if you have space you can see the situation clearer

This is exactly what I went through with an ex, he went on a ten day trip and I realised in his absence that such a weight had been lifted and I needed to end things. He would go to bed not talking to me, go to work not talking to me… my days revolved around wondering what I'd done wrong

No. 474304

>You can't get mad at him for not feeling better because you wanted him to feel better

Anon it's not about that, it's about his failure to communicate with her.
Ignoring someone and purposefully not communicating is passive aggressive behavior, not the actions of someone who communicated that they need space.
Equally you can't be mad at OP for not being a mind reader and who now is worried there's something wrong.

No. 474306

I had a driving exam today and I got extremely anxious and made silly mistakes. I feel like mental health is ruining every aspect of my life and that I should die already because things will only get worse. I really wanna hurt myself rn

No. 474307

File: 1571420075191.jpg (49.81 KB, 620x448, Výstřižek.JPG)

I live in a uni dorm room with 2 other girls. One of them is okay, we're not friends but we can talk about our day for a little and then just coexist in the room. The other one is incredibly closed off and it makes the whole space so uncomfortable. She won't say hi, good morning, make small talk, nothing. I always feel like I'm intruding upon her even by asking how her day vent. It's not like I want us to be best friends but like… she flat out ignores my existence if I don't talk to her first. I think she acts the same with the other girl we live with. What should I do?
I've been spending less and less time in our room bc I feel uncomfortable and unwelcome there. Makes me a bit sad and annoyed…

No. 474310

She must act that way because she's shy or introverted and socializing makes her uncomfortable so she's trying to pretend to be alone basically. I wouldn't take it personally but if it bothers you I would keep on always greeting her whenever you see her to break the tension. It's your space too and you have the right to be in it so you should just walk in jovially saying hello and then do what you want and if she has a problem she can be quiet after a quick greeting if she wants to. I'm sorry she is making you feel that way though, it would stress me out too. That kind of girl should really be in her own place alone.

No. 474311

I like to ruin men's disturbing sexual interest in me by reverse psychologing them and being overly interested in them and making them cringe and be annoyed by my personality. I did this to a stalker I had in high school. I'm happy.

No. 474312

Please don't feel bad anon! You can still try again. Driving is extremely scary (coming from someone too scared to even start lessons- like cmon, you want me to control this thousand pound DEATH MACHINE? no thanks), and at least you recognized what mistakes you made!

I wish you the best anon, I hope things can get better for you one day.

No. 474315

Oh I know it's shitty of him, that's why I'm just angry now and want this crush to be over and done with. I'm tired of being fucked around with by men. But it's like even though logically I know he doesn't care about me I still keep crushing?? And I don't know why since I know he's fucking around. I'm tired of it

The only thing I can think of is that my self esteem was lower than I originally thought it was lmao

No. 474330

>order components for halloween headpiece from Ali
>thinking I'm being so frugal instead of paying ridiculous markups
>literally all the components get here EXCEPT for the literal main component
>I need it or else it just doesn't make sense
The tracking is stuck and obv I ain't getting my shit in time. Guess I could pay out the ass for a US seller and run into the same issue of it not getting here in time. I'm really mad.

No. 474335

File: 1571425883636.jpg (41.83 KB, 495x636, 1546442501172.jpg)

>work on a project onsite in a South Asian country with a bunch of other European colleagues organised in teams
>the teams are mostly male
>for the most part everything went great at first
>Coworker Andy from a different team suddenly starts hanging around my team because my guys like him
>all describe him as a "nice guy" and "gentle Viking"
>Andy for some reason refuses to talk to me personally, always pretends I'm not around and the most we exchange is cursory hellos, at times he would talk over me when I start to talk, bump into me and step on my foot because "he's so tall he can't see me", always looks pissed off
>He asks to be invited to my team's WhatsApp group even though it's just for us and he doesn't belong there and the guys accept him, I agree because I didn't want to be a bitch
>Andy ends up being the most annoying, stereotypical Redditor stereotype, always a smart ass, referring to his gf as "the gf" or "the missus" and making cringy reddit tier jokes
>Andy is always mildly rude towards me and today in our own group he asks me why I'm always "so moody" when I was just making a joke that I've made a billion times before around my team
>Andy, meanwhile, is always pissed off at something and always telling someone off and acting like everyone's dad
But wait, there's more
>Andy's teammate, Bob, also starts hanging around us
>Bob is extremely creepy: never talks, always stares holes through you, looks sloppy and ungroomed and kinda on the older side, will just silently stand up and follow you when you leave
>Bob suddenly starts hanging around my team, asks me to go on a field trip with us, I say sure
>On field trip he just quietly follows us, specifically me
>Next day I go to the beach with my teammates to take photos and move away from the group, he comes over and stands behind me not saying a word
>at random times he says things like "I can hold you if you like" if I'm going down some rocks to the water and really insists on spending time with me
>later asks me out for lunch and asks what I'm doing next weekend, I turn him down
>still fucking sits next to me on a bus or at our table and tries to make conversation
>just found out I'll go to the same area as him for a separate project
There's just something very unnerving about this guy and I want him away from me.

I wanna go home so bad and I hate it here.

No. 474336

my laptop is having some sort of issue that apparently is "The embedded controller has timed out waiting for BIOS to return from system board initialization" whatever that means, but apparently it isn't diy fixable and there's no in the flesh hp support centre here so I gotta wait until monday when their call line is open again to beg for help. it's still under warranty so it shouldn't be too bad financially but I am sweating! I fucking hate computer issues, nothing gives me quite that fright ever since early childhood. And I have some uni things due in 2 weeks so I hope it gets fixed until then ahh

No. 474338

File: 1571426019207.jpg (4.3 KB, 275x246, 1547409431606.jpg)

>mfw someone from here took one of my posts word for word and used it to post on reddit for the updoots and I still don't know how to feel about it or if it's happened before

No. 474341

a similar thing happened with me where I became very uncomfortable around an uncle of mine from an early age. I also changed from carefree to being preoccupied with feeling that adult men weren't to be trusted/did bad things.

what your uncle did was disgusting and I'm sorry you went through that.

idk if either of you two anons have access to this but there is a type of therapy called EMDR that can help sometimes recover repressed memories if that is something you think would help you. I've had a few sessions of this with memories of my uncle (with a therapist) and found it incredibly stressful/didn't complete it (the guilt I felt was overwhelming since I have no proof he hurt me) but for others it can really help with trauma, even the buried kind. idk just a suggestion

No. 474342

tell me more. how exactly do you do this

No. 474343

Link eeeet

No. 474345

But at the same time, that is a type of non-verbal communication
It'd be one thing if this was ongoing, but it sounds like he just had a rough day

I'm not mad at OP and it doesn't sound like her boyfriend is mad at OP

No. 474360

>burned shit while cooking
>now the whole kitchen + the corridors stink and i live with 4 other people

No. 474379

Why is it so hard to find a female doctor!
Just for like primary care shit?

Every time I look at a list of providers that accept my health insurance, I'm constantly calling in to see if I can get one to be my PCP–but I'm always redirected into booking with some dude

No. 474380

My friend is a huge Yang supporter and it’s so annoying. He constantly brings up politics around me bc he knows I support a different candidate and thinks me refuting all his dumbass claims about policy is a friendly “debate” and he loves it while I find it fucking insufferable. Like I literally do not care about his political beliefs or Yang at all. Anyways I need more female friends.

No. 474382


welcome to the club kek, this has happened to me several times, not here that i know off but on other platforms.

No. 474384

because only like 35% of physicians in the US are female

No. 474389

File: 1571431634048.jpeg (1 MB, 710x774, Madame_Blavatsky_Character.jpe…)

I agreed to some work and i feel it in my bones i am going to get screwed over, i hope not because i need the money for the Christmas season. Problem is i agreed to be bargained for a lower fee than usual on the initial stage, i worked for the client before and it was okay, but if the client bails and only pays me for the first stage of the project i would have wasted my time being ripped off, i would be pissed off at myself for falling for the oldest bait in the book knowingly just because i am broke and have no more work incoming.

I am at the very bottom , i just want to be able to afford a few decent meals for a change and maybe some booze and cigarretes for my lonely miserable christmas.

No. 474396

I lost my virginity recently at 21 years old to someone I love very much. Only problem is now my OCD is flaring up and I’m having a mental breakdown because of it. We used a condom, but he came inside of me with the condom on once and then pulled out and now I keep working myself up about if any semen got into me while he was pulling out because men are dumb and don’t do things properly. But i didn’t see so i have no clue. I touched myself after he pulled out to feel if anything got on me and it felt really slimy, but he said it was probably because we used a lubed condom and all of it got pushed down or whatever. The condom didn’t seem to break cause I checked but my OCD brain says, how can you be so sure? We had sex a couple more times with a new condom each time and everything seemed fine but I felt so worried. I don’t fucking know what it’s like if a condom slips off while they’re pulling out, or what a broken condom feels like either. In the morning I took plan B, even though we used condoms and did things safely
for the most part. Now my delusions are telling me I’m pregnant. I keep imagining what I’ll do if I turn up pregnant. I have nobody to support me if I had an abortion, besides my boyfriend. I started birth control a couple days ago and I’m going to see him tomorrow and I know he will want to fuck again. And I want to do it. But I have this fucking mental illness and it makes me think the worst things are coming true when they’re not. I’m an adult and I shouldn’t be thinking so immaturely but I can’t help it. Why can’t I just have sex with the person I love and be a little carefree for once? This is why I never had sex before, because every time I do anything even vaguely sexual I start thinking I’m pregnant. It’s not as bad as it used to be (thinking a blowjob will get me pregnant somehow) but it’s… bad. I hate myself and my shitty brain and I really pray that I will be okay.

No. 474397

I think a lot of people freak out about that the first time. But everything you described sounds normal. You are not pregnant and you will be okay. Soon you will laugh about the past / how you're feeling now.

No. 474399

I gave my co-worker a rare art poster earlier during the week out appreciation for her helping me out. It's the work of one of her favorite artists apparently and they don't sell them anymore. She keeps leaving it in the office on the sofa and seems to have forgotten about it. I guess she doesn't really care and I'm just going to take it back home. Feelsbad.

No. 474407

Thank you anon.

No. 474411

taking back a gift given is an asshole move. just don't give her any more gifts.

No. 474415

File: 1571440159984.jpeg (29.46 KB, 480x480, 76AED325-810C-43D0-85AF-4181DB…)

my stomach always hurts so bad. it’s been like this for 4 years. and the doctors don’t care, months between appointments and they just tell me to take supplements that don’t work

already tried doing different diets and stuff. happens even when I don’t eat anything

No. 474424

she didn’t even really accept it. It’s just been in a commons area and nowhere near her desk. At this point, it’s just taking up space where people can sit down and now I feel like the asshole for doing that. I don’t feel like im taking back a gift if she never really accepted it in the first place and had all week to take it to her place.

No. 474426

File: 1571442250809.gif (1.02 MB, 324x200, 42B8887D-3281-4DC1-90F3-856FC5…)

Anon I’m sorry it was me I posted it bc it really resonated with everything I went trough I’m so sorry it wasn’t for the updoots I promise [if it’s the rN] post

i also can delete it if you want to

No. 474427

I have the urge to disappear. Like just get in a bus and not look back. I’m taking a trip next week to see a friend and the urge to not come back to my city and life is huge, like just after seeing her get on another bus and go to a whole other state and not come back. I already packed for my trip and packed with this idea in mind, I probably won’t go through with it, but I like to think I would and how nice it would feel. But how would i even go about making money without being found or using my phone or cards? It seems like too much work or too dangerous but I just need a huge break from being me and my current living situation.

No. 474428

It's ok anon. That's why I didn't take the piss cause I know it means something. I'm just paranoid lmao.

No. 474429

File: 1571443645224.jpg (56.26 KB, 828x810, e7en9lxfelq31.jpg)

anything and everything related to social media makes me wanna kms

No. 474430

I can't see a new GC/Pinkpill thread and don't want to post a rushed bodgy thread just so I can reply with this, so it's going into the vent thread for now:

Just checked a forum I used to use and two women who have never ever posted about gender dysphoria, gender issues or anything like that back when I used to read it are now trans

One says she's "new to it" and the other says she will be starting hormones soon

Not a trend, guis

No. 474431


i'd be more accepting if people were honest about it being a trend and they are doing it as a matter of personal choice, not "i am totally the other gender now gayz, speshul rights, this is who i really am form birth" . No, its just a lifestyle you chose, like being emo or being a tattoed biker or being part of a church, like anything else, having the freedom to do something to yourself doesn't mean universal reality is altered around your dumb ideas.

On that topic, i respect someone who gets a tatoo and can admit it was a cosmetic thing they did because its their bodies and thats it, is no one elses problem, rather than go on a ramble about how much of a deep meaning it has and how profound a statement it was to get that catrina on your shoulder. Who gives a crap, its not an issue if you want to alter your appearence into whatever just think its cool, acting pretentious about it only makes it more vane and shallow somehow. I guess everyone is a different unique individual with the soul of a tortured missunderstood artist in their own fantasy world.

No. 474432

File: 1571444575061.jpeg (29.14 KB, 275x272, 1567724461849.jpeg)

I would love to be this butch, tough dyke but alas I remain a soft , short as fuck femme. It just angers me, I am like a lesbian manlet for fucks sake.

No. 474434

>>474427 maybe try saving up if possible and making little arrangements beforehand. I think you could possibly pull it off as long as you're an adult. Rooting for your escapist ass, nonny.

No. 474435

Yes, I agree entirely. Skimmed that thread a little more and the rest of them are claiming to be things like 80% straight or maybe bi now as well while being in long term straight relationships (another kettle of fish I don't wish to debate here or anywhere)

Trans is absolutely an identity that anyone has a right to take up, like being a goth, hippy, investment banker or anything else. It just is a heavily loaded identity that comes packed with transphobia-related legislation. You don't get arrested for shouting insults at a goth, but you do if you write a "transphobic" Tweet.

I really should make a thread, like I said I don't wanna muck it up. Will harbor these thoughts for later.

No. 474458

File: 1571455143856.jpg (900.11 KB, 1242x1157, IMG_0652.JPG)

well shit. first of all, i've been drinking so my apologies to anyone who has to read this. but i just finally got access to an old email, one i've been too stupid to remember the password to for about 7 years. finally figured out the recovery email, got into that one and then got into babbys first email. i went through the sent box to see if anyone had gotten into it and out of curiosity. found a weird email to myself i didn't remember, with a .doc attachment. opened it to find the suicide bait/note my ex wrote me. it brought back a lot of shit for me. he wrote it in the middle of the night, said i was sleeping next to him, having a nightmare when he was writing how he didn't love me and wanted to kill himself. idk if i read it all the way through when i found it, just instinctively emailed it to myself and packed my shit and ghosted. thank fucking god i did too, rereading it is like reading a fucking onion book. the whole thing is like 'i'm so much smarter than everyone and yet i still want to die. and if i do kill myself it'll be your fault and here's why… i only love you sometimes.' jfc i can't believe i wasted my life thinking he was the one that got away, when that boy was a god damn tard. i'm sure he's very much alive somewhere feeling just as miserable as he always was, probably emotionally abusing the shit out of whatever girl he knocked up. who would've thought that four page suicide note would someday make me feel so thankful to have gotten the fuck away from that manipulative moron.

No. 474460

I love that moment when you realize the person you admire/love ain't shit. Such relief for them to provide their own evidence for being an asshole and you don't have to waste energy caring about them no more.

>I only love you sometimes

Such edge! Such depth!

No. 474461

Was feeling good about my clear skin this week but realized my skin is only looking so good because instead of picking my face I have been pulling out coarse hairs near my hairline. Nice.

No. 474481

I hate people who cheats,I hate men who cheat and I hate women who cheat

No. 474482

>Trans is absolutely an identity that anyone has a right to take up, like being a goth, hippy, investment banker or anything else.

A goth is someone who listens to goth music. Also investment banker isn't an identity, it's an occupation. Thats like saying you identify as a janitor or a cook.

No. 474487

that means i can i identify as a magic card? thats all my life has been for years. didnt know that a job could be an identity lmao. that anon is retarded.

No. 474504

Get told several times during the week that a few other people and I had to come in on Saturday morning to finish the parts that needed done before. Was reminded again by my supervisor an hour before leaving yesterday that I still had to come in. Wake up at 4 am after going to bed early, drive in, nobody's there. Get told by someone in another section of the building that, "Yeah, your supervisor told me at the end of the day that you guys weren't coming in."
"Well, is the other supervisor here at least for me to talk to?"
"No, they don't come in till 7."

What a bunch of bullshit. This isn't the first time my supervisor didn't tell me something important too. Of course he remembered to tell the guys he's buddies with to not come in, I get fucked again. I hate this job for a lot of reasons but now I defiantly want to get a new job. It sucks because I just started my 401k after a year here but I'm sure I can do better and advance my career somewhere that actually gives a fuck about me.

No. 474505

Get told several times during the week that a few other people and I had to come in on Saturday morning to finish the parts that needed done before. Was reminded again by my supervisor an hour before leaving yesterday that I still had to come in. Wake up at 4 am after going to bed early, drive in, nobody's there. Get told by someone in another section of the building that, "Yeah, your supervisor told me at the end of the day that you guys weren't coming in."
"Well, is the other supervisor here at least for me to talk to?"
"No, they don't come in till 7."

What a bunch of bullshit. This isn't the first time my supervisor didn't tell me something important too. Of course he remembered to tell the guys he's buddies with to not come in, I get fucked again. I hate this job for a lot of reasons but now I defiantly want to get a new job. It sucks because I just started my 401k after a year here but I'm sure I can do better and advance my career somewhere that actually gives a fuck about me.

No. 474522

Nta but point still stands that being trans means LARPing as something you’re not, so it has even less validity than being goth or being a banker lol

No. 474523

File: 1571491219970.jpeg (3.12 MB, 1920x2737, 928048E9-B206-4C13-A002-A12830…)

I started putting a bunch of my stuff online to sell, starting with clothes. I’m not a hoarder but being stuck with all of my belongings in a single room is making me tired of feeling crowded all the time. It just kind of sucks because in “normal” circumstance it would be fine to have what I own…like my aunt converted an entire bedroom into her closet space and I’m nowhere at that level.

No. 474524

Lolcow has turned me dyslexic

No. 474527

I would like to get in the music industry but part of me feels it's not worth it anymore and will never be worth it again. Something deep inside me telling it's a fail and won't return to the same heights it was before.

No. 474529

File: 1571495005603.jpg (22.06 KB, 480x260, 597.jpg)

i started following the ana-chan discussion on /snow/ a while ago and now my ED has relapsed. I don't want to make any effort to fix it because honestly? I'm a fatass.

No. 474538

Same :/(:/)

No. 474542

File: 1571498107373.jpeg (7.41 KB, 183x275, images.jpeg)

I'm the same. I live at home and all of my belongings are in my small bedroom. I keep all of my toiletries in there too cause we have a very small bathroom for 4 people. there's no space.

a good tip I found for making the most of a small space is taking advantage of the verticality of the room, like with shelves, a tall bookcase or tall set of drawers. also putting things on top of those pieces of furniture. boxes for under bed storage too.

it's good that you're downsizing a little too though, hope people buy your stuff! may we both have more space for our things in the future

No. 474559

I hate how, if I want to get any sleep at night, I have to perform a lengthy ritual every evening where I can't hang out with friends, play games or have any screentime at all or do anything other than sitting around with tea and reading a book and slowly ingesting sleeping pills. If I do any of those things then I don't sleep the whole night because it overstimulates the fuck out of me and my mind races. I have to choose between a social life, hobbies, and sleep. It's crippling my relationship with my friends because none of us are around or have time to hang out during daylight hours. I made the mistake of playing video games with friends last night after 6pm because I missed them and of course got no sleep whatsoever. I want to fucking bash my head against a wall until I collapse. I wish I was rich so I could hire a personal anesthesiologist to put me in a drug induced coma every night so I could actually do things with my evening that isn't "winding down".

No. 474562

same anon, I just moved into a place with relatively small square footage but like 15 ft ceilings. I'm a shortarse so high shelves are gonna be a pain, but it's the obvious way to go. I can always use a stepladder.

I'm trying to get rid of a lot of stuff anyway cos I feel like owning things is becoming a bit of a burden. I have too many books so I'm trying to take a couple of bags to the charity shop every time I can, but as I sort through them it's getting harder to let them go. And I have a bunch of clothes from when I was thinner that I can't bring myself to donate even though they take up space - some stupid part of me thinks I might still lose the weight. I think I might have to bite the bullet and just do a full KonMari.

No. 474574

>see a therapist about my crushing pain and inaction
>she's an older woman, cool, maybe she will be comforting
>she introduces a concept of "child" and "adult" within
>cool, that seems applicable here
>"anon just let your adult side comfort your child side"
>okay, can I get some examples as this is a new concept and if I had all the adult things to say, I would say them
>do exercises where she feeds me lines to say to myself as the adult
>cooo, that feels embarrassing yet empowering, it's in me after all!
>therapist asks me to do homework, beginning with emailing her journaling
>do so, she doesn't refer to the emails in the next session, okay maybe it's not as central as I thought it would be to the process, let it go
>gives me more homework of listing child and adult phrases and responses
>try it in my own at home, can't conjure adult voice, say that in this week's email, move on
>ask therpaist for further guidence bc the homeowork isn't making sense and she's not been answering my emails in which I request clarification and guidence
>brushed aside again
>stop trying with the homework bc she hasn't brought it up at all and I'm confused as to whether I should even put effort into the homework if it's a throw away effort
>"anon ur not doing ur homework"
>yes I am! I sent it here blahblah@blah.com
>"oh ok must've missed it. Moving on…"
>next session "anon you're not doing your hw. If you want to get nything out of this you have to do it"
>o-okay but I've asked you a few times before how to conjure the adult voice, maybe we can go over it now?
>we do another exercise where I stand behind my chair and recite lines she's feeding me and tells me to forget about homework. I'm willing to do it, she just doesn't appear to want to teach it.
>one session she said to me
>anon I know you want me to be sweet, caring [her name]. I can see it in the way you tilt your head to the side.
>Didn't realize I was even doing that
>few sessions later
>asks me about homework
>"I was doing it but you told me to stop bc I was confused"
>"no I didn't"
>"you can look! I sent at least 5 assignments to you!"
>"no you didn't. If you don't take this seriously I will have to terminate you as a patient"
>feel like I'm 8 years old talking to my dad who doesn't listen
>start hyperventillating
>oh god, I'm in trouble. What did I do wrong to anger [therapist]??
>she's not listening! No way to escape! You are a piece of shit!
>"I…think….I'm having… a panic…. attack!"
>smugly I think you are too.

>fast forward a few years, accept the whole thing as a misunderstanding, forget how much effort I did put into making the homework right.

>find old emails in sent box, including the hw emails
>long emails in which I am eager to learn, following instructions, and even just loosely journalling to fill in on days I felt lost with the curriculum

No. 474576

>be me, ~9 years old
>have a great group of 3 other little girls who are my bffs
>sleepovers, cookies, gossiping, friendship bracelets, the lot
>one day friend says she isn't allowed to hangout with me anymore, another girl follows soon after
>sad but I'm a kid and don't question it
>fast forward 10 years or so
>talking with Mom
>"anon she stopped hanging out with you bc your dad and I called CPS because we overheard her telling you and your friends about her brother molesting her"
>it all clicks
>her father was a Sheriff or something
>they convinced cps that I was lying and also convinced my other friend's mother of the same thing which is why they both stopped talking to me

No. 474577

Afraid not, I‘m in a foreign country, removed from family and friends, there‘s no room for me there now anyway. Yeah I had that experience when for a couple of days I regularly met up with people who liked the same stuff I do, and I was like "oh shit, I feel normal, and what I normally feel actually isn‘t alright". It‘s so strange what you get used to when it‘s just bit by bit.

I did want him to feel better in general, I could‘ve just ignored it and he‘d have went about his day. He does have a huge problem with not communicating if something‘s up, and sometimes it‘ll build up for months, then he‘ll be quiet for a day and if I stay distant and give space, he‘ll blow up about the problems (that until then I didn‘t know were wrong) and I‘ll be super upset because the relationship feels in jeopardy, coming from (to me) nowhere. And if I pretend nothing‘s wrong and act cheery I can maybe bring him back from the ledge. Actually talking about it before the blowup is always impossible, even though I KNOW something is very wrong.

So in the past him going quiet has been BAD for me and I just dread seeing him again.

Thanks everyone for the affirmation btw, this is very isolating.

No. 474578

My project groupmates are FUCKING IDIOTS. I can't believe the crap they wrote and now I have to correct it.

No. 474579

>well nevermind then, shit

Ugh, I felt that. So sorry anon.

No. 474584

Ex just started seeing someone and it made me realize that I don't miss HIM, but just the physical/emotional intimacy. Guess that's good.

No. 474601


but actually, good news, I did find one after whining about it here so hooray!

No. 474604

Lmao the biggest one-upper I know is MTF and it has only got worse since they began transitioning. My fucking period got one-upped by someone with a dick who apparently experiences period symptoms. Not even a tranny sperg just amazed at the lengths this person will go…

No. 474605

File: 1571517318024.jpg (110.18 KB, 500x507, dglñjpg.jpg)

>and it made me realize that I don't miss HIM

no love for HIM :c

sage for autism

No. 474607

Taylor the animal hoarder gets to live a chill life doing drugs whilst this poor woman can barely afford to live yet she actually loves and cares for her animals.

Fuck everything

No. 474612

Is she just chillin' with a crocodile like it's a dog?

People are giving money to the wrong people, evidently

No. 474659

Sorry but whenever I think of HIM all I can think of is Bam Margera lol

No. 474671

It's frustrating that nobody is really interested in me–or at least ends up feeling mutually when I start to get to know someone
I know I'm not always out there on the prowl, but it's just so weird that I haven't really found anyone
I'm 24 and I've barely gotten close to even just a casual relationship of all things, but no dice

Sure, I have my flaws–I have things I need to work on, that's absolutely true, but that doesn't mean I don't have love to give and it doesn't mean that I should receive love as well

I would be a great partner to anyone who was with me
I'm supportive and empathetic, I'm kind and can be passionate about the things that the people around me care about, I'm constantly being told how funny I am and I think that would translate into having a great time with me

I won't say deserving because it gives off this sense of entitlement, but I'm more than worth it
I'm worthy of love

No. 474676

i started messaging this guy with funny memes and lighthearted stuff. he made it more serious and talked about how he wants to find a wife and have kids…but after i confessed to him that i was starting to have feelings and care about him, he reeled back the texts and barely talks to me anymore. when i try discussing it, he ignores me and changes the subject. i was happy to just have something fun and carefree, i don't get why he brought serious feelings into it and then when i reciprocate, he shies away?

No. 474694

You're definitely worth it. It's their problem in not seeing it.

No. 474700

i am so infinitely angry about wasting a decade of my life on someone who raped and abused me. i had kids with him and it boils my blood. i love my children and will cherish them forever but fuck my ex.

No. 474709

File: 1571547565793.jpeg (45.07 KB, 360x359, 1411F4E5-871F-456A-A2B8-DEC4D8…)

As soon as I saw “National Period Day” on Twitter, I knew I would see little to nothing on period disorders. Or menstrual huts. Or the lack of resources causing girls in poor areas to be unable to attend school while menstruating. Or homeless women being unable to access supplies.

I KNEW it would be nothing but trans shit / not all ppl who have periods are women uwu crap and I was right.

No. 474711

i hate twitter so much…

No. 474718

File: 1571550083441.jpg (95.47 KB, 1080x810, 2jille.jpg)

I have a huge crush on this guy I'm talking to on tinder right now, i'm sure it won't go anywhere since guys tend to ghost me on this app but I'm trying to telepathically tell him that I will indeed buss it wide open if he asked…not sure if he's getting my hints tho

No. 474736


Me too, it's a Tumblr infested shithole that shouldn't be touched with a ten foot pole

No. 474746

I am fairly socially active, work in a decent place, and have friends. However, at the end of the day, I feel so alone and have nobody to talk to. The past week, I’ve become horribly depressed because of these feelings of loneliness. I wish I had close friends or a boyfriend but I just can’t find who I can really connect with. I always suppress parts of myself depending on who I’m with and I’ve never been able to fully be myself around people. I think it’s a big reason why I feel lonely even though I often do things with other people.

No. 474767

One old friend found out my best friend is talking bad about me behind my back. I wish instead of telling her, he confronted her about it so it’d be easier for me.
If I talk now about what I know, I’m basically snitching and even when my old friend told me he don’t care if she hates him, so why do I have to be the one confronting the person I considered my best friend until this morning?
Apparently she had been doing it for a few years now and I just feel dumb and stupid for not knowing it.

No. 474773

>>However, at the end of the day, I feel so alone and have nobody to talk to.
I've been dealing with the same problem actually. I've been pretty socially active these last couple of months, but I feel weird being in my room. I feel like when I'm not around other people they've forgotten around me. One thing I'm grateful for is having a best friend who I can be myself around. However, we live super far away from each other and they're not down to call all the time.

No. 474792

I want to work on my paralysing shyness and terrible social skills and I've accepted it means going out of your comfort zone and using exposure therapy. Today, at my new job, I actually made eye contact with a co-worker (a male one at that, the same age as me) and said hello. He completely ignored me and walked away. He heard me. It was then I was snapped back into my tragic reality and realised why I shouldn't even try. I'am destined to be and die alone because their is something so horrible about me that I don't even know what. It can't just be because I'm ugly, there are way uglier people than me and they have friends. I can't believe it.

No. 474803

Sad reality

No. 474819

Why is the library so loud on a Sunday?

I am trying to study on a library computer so I am stuck on the ground floor. People are constantly coming in having loud conversations. The elevator makes a sound every time it moves up a level. There's two people in the computer area having a conversation too. I just want to study.

No. 474822

>be overweight but not obese
>feeling ok/neutral about my body when looking in the mirror, want to lose weight and be healthier but don't hate it
>face is still kinda ok despite being a full moon
>someone takes candid pictures
>look like a horrifying 200lbs midget-goblin
>tiny eyes and mouth buried in doughy face
>massive flabby double chin
>overall just a disgusting, ugly, fat mess

What the fuck, is this like a reverse BDD or something? It seriously feels like two completely different people in the mirror and in those pictures. I genuinely had no idea I looked that fucking hideous from other angles and when I'm talking or walking. I was doing pretty ok not being overly self-conscious about my chubbiness, but those pics destroyed it.

No. 474840

Shouldn't really let your self esteem get down on bad candids, I know people who don't even look like themsel on candids and anyone who judges you because of a bad candid is dumb and an asshole

No. 474845


Even the most attractive people can look horrible in candids. We're human beings not fucking dolls.

No. 474858

Just got yelled at because the banshee in my apartment tried to put their dirty gross work socks into my laundry of bedsheets, pillowcases, and duvet. Then got pissed off when I told them no.

Yeah sorry, I don't care if your stained nasty socks are technically "whites" you can slop those in with the rest of your foot-juiced socks as they have no business being washed in the same water where I'll put my face. Socks fucking reek and they'll make my sheets reek.
Fuck you.

No. 474862

I look awful in all of my photos so it makes me wonder if I’m actually really ugly even if a few people around me don’t think I am. Shit sucks.

No. 474863

I look bad in photos but look okay in the mirror, think that's common enough

No. 474879

I know people say progress isn't linear and that messing up once doesn't mean you've deleted your progress.

I'm obsessed with someone I fell in love with–but they never reciprocated my feelings, which probably made it so much worse
I was happy that I made it just about a year without contacting them, but I realized that I wished them a happy birthday a few months ago
I know it's small, but I told them and I told myself that I wouldn't contact them
It's harmless in the sense that I didn't do any of the normal behavior (spam them with texts), all I said was "Happy Birthday, X" but realizing that made me feel bad about not being able to go a year without contacting them

I still think about them so much and I've started making great strides in healing, but it's still disheartening to feel like this because of one thing I did without even realizing it

No. 474880

tbh I look terrible in anything that isn't a selfie anons, and I don't think I'm objectively ugly

No. 474881

ugh i sympathize with you anon, i can't even bring myself to look at peoples faces most days. it's good that you tried, you should keep it up as long as you can

No. 474888

Then what do you think the problem was? Why did he ignore you? Do you think you might have done something subconscious that made the situation weird or perhaps you were unable to read the situation well because of your lack of social skills?

Keep working on your social skills, I used to have terrible social skills and social anxiety but I've improved a lot over the years to the point I'm regarded as one of the more sociable people when in a group of people, and not the "quiet one". The trick for me was to mimic people who have good social skills. It'll be undeniable uncomfortable but it will 100% pay off in the end.

No. 474891

File: 1571590432628.jpg (6.63 KB, 252x250, 1571241123229.jpg)

>meet perfect boy, we get along and have lots in common, he may even be into me
>he's religious and wants to get buff
So close and yet so far. I doubt his religion would let us date and I'd stop being attracted to him within the year anyway ahaha…oh boy.

No. 474900

File: 1571591884027.jpg (358 KB, 960x540, camera-lenses.jpg)

Different focal lengths can definitely effect how you look in pictures. That's why you may look cute in the mirror but dread pictures; "lens distortion" from the camera can be at play.

No. 474901

>crushing on guy
>get drunk
>texting him
>tell him about erotic dream i had
>act like a creep
>wake up and read the messages/remember the convo
>want to die

i am so embarrassed now, but reading it again it looked like he was interested in me telling him so i don't know what to think.

No. 474906

File: 1571592667499.gif (1.9 MB, 440x248, Gif.gif)

And lighting!

No. 474923

Is there a focal length that's considered ideal then? That comes most close to reality?

No. 474935

I guess this is basically why I look okay in the mirror from a straight on front view but look like shit when I tilt my head downward. I start seeing eye bags and creases at that angle when they’re not really there from the front and it was driving me crazy to the point where I wanted to save up for fillers.

No. 474956

File: 1571601654023.gif (45.53 KB, 450x510, 8W4Co3P.gif)

I had a dream yesterday about this guy back home. It felt realistic but I kept telling everyone "I don't remember the plane ride" so that kind of set me off in the dream. Anyways, he was so excited to see me. More affectionate and romantic than overly sexual. It felt so sweet until he said "Anon don't leave again! I missed you, I just love you so much." And I freaked out lol. I'm not certain if I will actually meet up with him when I come back. Our relationship is so confusing. I think I miss him though.

No. 474961

File: 1571603011848.jpeg (9.65 KB, 236x204, 8836E992-2A0C-4FB5-8480-A4AAA5…)

I feel so fucking inadequate. I dont want to eat or leave the house and I know Im overreacting like a child.
Yesterday, my boyfriend and his childhood friends and I got together to play this board game and to drink. Some point in we all got quite inebriated and one of his friends brought up how my boyfriend absolutely adores big-tit blondes. My bf kinda loses his shit and couldn’t even look at me in this moment. He just curled into a ball and said “why would you say that” under his breath to which his friend responded “well, it’s true. ive known you since elementary. just exposed you!
Now… I’m an extremely flat-chested asian girl with dark hair.
My boyfriend always loved huge huge breasts and all of that. Blonde white girls and whatnot and it just makes me feel so fucking disgusting and miserable. I will never be what he wants. He is just settling for me. if he could, he’d go get a big tit white girl but he cant. I’m pathetic and feel like ill always always always feel inadequate in this relationship.
I feel like my insecurity will eventually drive us to break up. I hate myself.

No. 474963

your boyfriend's friends are dicks and so is your bf tbh for not shutting him down immediately. curling up into a ball and whispering is a cowardly thing to do instead of calling his friend out on saying something he knew would be hurtful. what has your boyfriend said about it?

No. 474965

You should get a man who adores your type instead of something opposite of you.

No. 474966


Anon this is a tough one and I've been there too. Hilariously I am a big titted blonde and my ex bf liked petite Asian girls. Everyone has their sexual preferences but there is SO much more to a relationship than physical appearance.

Men are gross and I'll tell you something: they like ALL kinds of girl. They imagine fucking every type of girl there is. Because they are men. As long as your bf makes you feel loved and special (which I doubt or this wouldn't have even bothered you) then who cares. What a man finds breathtakingly beautiful is different to what he wants to jam his dick in.

No. 474968

He said nothing. I went home later in the night like I heard nothing and I havent brought it up since. I sort of want to talk about it but I hate making myself look more insecure than I already am. I guess he couldnt shut it down because its obviously true.
Yeah, I think this a lot too. Whats the point if I’m not what he wants? If a girl like that comes his way… why would he even stay with me. Theres been a case one time where a girl in that description flirted with him at work. He lied to me that he told her that he had a gf. Whatever.
I can see that too. Of course it’s not as if he’s not attracted to me whatsoever… but the thought of him staring at other women and me constantly holding some sort of resentment is really gonna hurt. He doesnt really take the effort to tell me how he’s attracted to me physically so it definitely adds to the wound.

No. 474969

>Theres been a case one time where a girl in that description flirted with him at work. He lied to me that he told her that he had a gf. Whatever.
I would highly suggest you talk to him about what happened, I don't think it would make you look insecure, and if it does who gives a shit, he's the one that doesn't want to look out for you in front of his friends, you've done nothing wrong

No. 474970

I know for dudes it's different and I'm not trying to wk for your nigel but if his friends have known him a really long time they might be picking on him for that childish phase where you feel like you even have a type at all.

I know in late middle school hs if anyone talked to me about dating it would be like well known I liked/dated super skinny tall guys or w/e (just an example not true lol). Someone meeting my bf now might be surprised he's shorter/heavier but I don't think he's unattractive I just stopped nitpicking and grew up lmao. Or my tastes evolved. w/e.

They might just be teasing him for being cringy and it might have nothing to do with you at all is what i'm saying. Maybe he thought that was cool and his "thing" in the past and got over it.

On the other side I've usually dated guys who I was their "type" but when they were shitty they'd just replace me with a younger/hotter/edgier model or w/e. So it didn't help in all honesty it made me distance myself from stuff I loved so I'd stop feeling in competition with other women I liked.

No. 474971

I could possibly ditch my current house that had my mother's hoarding problem, cat urine, and dog urine soaked carpet. Though screw over my family by not living directly with them and give money, driving, chore help. I could otherwise get my own apartment to live with a roommate that'll probably be clean. Either way I'm screwing myself or my family. I feel like a dick because I'll probably choose an apartment with clean furniture and flooring…Basically screwing over my family financially but they never helped me with anything around the house.

No. 475017

File: 1571614819889.jpg (21.92 KB, 640x360, 69685562_1235112319993014_1561…)

I'm so god damn tired of being a depressed piece of shit. I hate going between "get over it and get your shit together" and "take care of yourself, mental illnesses are real" in my brain. The constant push and pull is exhausting, and I don't feel like it will ever get better. Can't put myself out of my misery because I'd feel too guilty for putting my loved ones through that, but living is suffering…someone kill me already

No. 475021

I used to be a cam girl/ethot/whatever you want to call it. I started when I was 19. I was really sheltered and naive. I did it for a little over two years. I quit 1.5 years ago but i still haven’t recovered from it. My relationship with my boyfriend is fine overall, but I have no sex drive and sleeping with him has no appeal he helped me with videos so and I think that fucked up how I view sex with him. I ended up developing BDD and it’s better than it used to be, but my seasonal depression is making it worse lately. I also still have a lot of guilt and shame when I think about all the pictures and videos of me that exist out there.
I miss wanting and enjoying sex. A lot. Thankfully my boyfriend is very supportive and understanding, but I still feel like I’m missing out. I don’t know how to fix it. No health insurance so I can’t see a therapist. I regret all of it so much. I feel like I was lied to by online ~sex positivity~ but I can’t blame everyone else for my own actions.

No. 475051


Fuck em

No. 475061

i hate the babying of those with mental disabilities. i see so many people seethe when someone rightfully tells someone with a mental disability no or questions their actions to their face, like please. treat them like a normal person, that's all they want to be seen as.
there's this group of people in my town who love babying this man in his mid 40s because he's a little slow, but he's a grown man with an apartment and a job. recently, he's been asking people on facebook for free stuff for his girlfriend while showing off things he bought. someone told him "you could've used the money you had for this for your girlfriend's shoes…" and people went CRAZY on this woman. telling her she's a sick person lmao. i mean, it's entertaining to see these people flock but holy shit.

fuck your parents, anon. it's not your job to clean up their messes. look after yourself, you are your priority. i think your quality of life will definitely increase when you get into a cleaner house too.

No. 475067

File: 1571627792613.jpg (96.22 KB, 856x794, 8fe7ab68-d2d2-483d-af9b-4aa8a8…)

Woke up at 7pm (I work nights), which was like 2 hours later than intended and it was pitch black , felt upsetti, decided to go see joker, partially due to the thirst posts over on /g/, managed to do that (1st time I've been to cinema on my own!), somehow maybe that was a bad idea as it made me very upset and sad about being completely alone in the world and using online "stalking" to get some sense of belonging, went to McDs to get something edible as grocery stores were already closed, went home full on ugly crying while clutching my McDs bag, ate nuggies and watched dumb youtube shit until I fell asleep on the sofa, slept full 6 hours with contacts in instead of intended nap (like I had literally just slept 9 hours, thought my body would have just a wink), wake up at 5 am, it is still dark, eyes kinda burning, heart full of regretti and I can't even feel accomplished for going to cinema on my own.
5/10, the fries were undercooked.

No. 475070

I’ve never dealt with death or anyone passing away in my life and my boyfriend’s mom is currently in a coma and I’m not really sure how to treat the situation. She and I aren’t super close and he hasn’t always had a great relationship with her and she’s been pretty sick for a long time. Right now it’s unclear what the outcome will be and whether or not she will get better, but I’m feeling extremely numb about the situation and my boyfriend is acting like I’m not “being there” for him and it’s really emotionally draining for me. I get that this is a traumatic experience for him, but he acts like I should be coddling him during a time of uncertainty where I feel like it’s better to just play it by ear and not get carried away until we have confirmation from doctors that she’s definitely near the end (she’s in stable condition, just not conscious).
I feel insensitive, but at the same time I feel like I have a right to be able to handle the situation in my own way since this is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me. I was with him at the hospital meeting and greeting with his family for 8 hours today and holding him while he was tearing up. I think he feels guilty about not working on their relationship more before something like this happened, but I’m not a therapist and it’s hard for me to work through both of our feelings during this whole situation.
I was trying to be optimistic, as it seemed from the last update from doctors that they had some solutions for her condition and cited that as a reason I’m not in freak out mode (I’m honestly not sure if I’m just internalizing my feelings or what) and he told me I was crazy and delusional for not being in a terrified state that she’s dying.
I don’t know. I know it’s a touchy situation, but I feel like I wouldn’t expect my significant other to understand what I was going through if it was my own parent, so it just feels like a lot is being asked of me and I’m overwhelmed by all of it.

No. 475071

>I feel insensitive, but at the same time I feel like I have a right to be able to handle the situation in my own way since this is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me.
wtf anon, it's HIS mom. Unless you were close with her it's not 'happening to you', it's happening to him. You should be helping him however you can, considering he is the one dealing with more severe grief and more complex emotions.

Also read this https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/promoting-hope-preventing-suicide/201705/ring-theory-helps-us-bring-comfort-in

No. 475073

I am comforting him and there for him. Also, going by your Ring Theory article you shared, I’m expressing my feelings to /ot/, which would be my outer ring.

No. 475075

I guess I should also mention we have lived together for 5 years and I’ve known her as long

No. 475083

Its comtetly natural for you not to have a close realtionship with your mother-in-law

No. 475088

I’m so sad and I have no idea how to deal with this. Two days ago I was hanging out with a friend from hs (we graduated 1 yr ago so not too long) and he dropped this huge fucking bombshell that one of our really good mutual friends also from hs is hooked on coke and pain prescriptions pills. I’m so angry and sad. I feel like she’s throwing her whole life away. She’s smart, beautiful, and very hard working. I feel so bad for not noticing the signs earlier. I know for a fact it’s her pos college bf that got her fucking hooked. Last time I was there he almost died and she just told us “oh he has really bad asthma sometimes” now looking bad I can clearly see he was nodding off HARD and probably doesn’t even have asthma. How can I help somebody like that? I’m not even supposed to know. I want to do something for her but there’s literally nothing I can do. I feel so powerless…

No. 475110

I'm so sick of people defending Michael Jackson.
No one innocent has the shit he had in his house. Photography books of naked little boys by actual, confirmed pedophiles? Adult porn carelessly lying around a place that was supposed to be safe for children? His very particular fixation on boys? No, fuck off. It's damn clear what he was.

No. 475124

File: 1571644560560.jpg (4.75 KB, 250x250, 1568430080625s.jpg)

i was excited to make my first art process video, i was gonna up the speed , edit it and put music and all, but ended up wasting two hours drawing and once i stopped recording Camstasia errored me and it didn't save anything. Just end me.

No. 475161

File: 1571654590963.gif (1.27 MB, 480x270, sigh.gif)

>order phone online that advertises that all their phones are compatible with my country's networks (store is based in my country, too)
>instead receive US T-mobile locked phone

No. 475162

That fucks anons. It really does.
Is there no way to recover it? Camtasia is so expensive I thought maybe they would have support that could locate your files.

No. 475173

Up at 3am having insomnia, still drinking English breakfast tea though in spite of that because I'm having sugar cravings and its the only non sugar thing that can sate them. Fukc my stupid body

No. 475178

Is English breakfast tea actually Earl Grey? Because I can see how it would satisfy the sugar craving. I've always thought it tastes like fruit loops it something. Sorry bout those sleep problems, anon. I get maybe 5 hours a night, but usually less, so I feel that pain.

No. 475182

No, its just black tea but stronger. I'm not really sure why it helps with my sugar cravings. Ive heard it can like kill the gut bacteria that can cause sugar cravings but that might be bullshit.

No. 475183

Fuck my entire life, the customer service dude said it will be done in 10 working days max, which would put me 2 days past the deadline and, knowing my luck, it most certainly will take 10 days. Guess this is time to embrace my fear of going tot he uni library then. At least it should be free unless they find signs of ~damage~ but like I have been treating it like a fragile Victorian child and haven't dropped it even once so that shouldn't happen. I'm so upset lol

No. 475187

What's scary about going to the uni library?

No. 475190

Just go to the uni library if you can

No. 475216

I'm seriously considering faking my own death.

No. 475218

No. 475221

There's lots of people there and I'm kinda retarded about being alone in busy public spaces, especially ones chiefly occupied by people my age. Maybe this is a chance to exposure therapy my dumb ass.

I will, am no going to type it on my phone, that's bit much even for me kek. Fingers crossed it will be less busy in the evenings!

No. 475227

It is so weird that so many people on lolcow lack the ability to do simple things.

No. 475230

For how long have you been together?

No. 475231

Expose yourself until you are comfortable >>475227
Yet you are here I’m sure you aren’t a normie

No. 475233

My friend decides to confront me on messenger because she's pissed that I asked this dude in our circle if he was going to her Halloween party over a week ago. She didn't want him to come.
It would be different if she stopped inviting him altogether, but she plays this game where she does wind up inviting him to the parties most times. So it's super difficult to read her mind to know which party she doesn't or does want him at. I guess I was supposed to know not to bring it up in conversation.
Supposedly he told her that I asked him if he was going cause I "wanted to hang out with him." Lol no, I showed her the screencap and how I only asked the question. He's obv lying cause he needs to build a case and whine about not being invited.

He's a desperate beta that makes women uncomfortable, but he's also the type who will fuck off if you tell him to. Meaning she could simply tell him he's not invited because he makes women uncomfortable.
That's all she'd have to say.
Nope. She's making some bullshit excuse about how it's a "small" party, even though it's not and she's inviting new people who've never hung out before.
She doesn't wanna be the bad guy, she'd rather get frustrated at me as if it's my responsibility to know who's going to which of her parties.
She only keeps this beta around cause he brings her food and buys her shit. Otherwise they don't really have a friendship at all and it kinda shows in the way she can't even be honest to his face.

No. 475237

Beta female teas

No. 475245

I want to be forgotten. I want to be alone.

No. 475247

Gee, how come a gossip forum offshoot of 4chan would be full with people who have various mental/social issues kek. At least many of us are trying!

No. 475250

I never said I wasn’t a normie. I can do basic things that you would expect a 12 year old to be able to do though.

No. 475254

one of you autistic fucks has found my accounts, screenshotted my replies and posted them in /w.
if its the dumb bitch I think it is, I'm going to piss in your kettle the next time you invite me to your house. also if this is your revenge for my S.O. not wanting to fuck you, I'll shit on your mattress.

No. 475259

I never said I wasn’t a normie. I can do basic things that you would expect a 12 year old to be able to do though.

No. 475261

File: 1571668704223.jpg (98.52 KB, 626x803, woman-pointing-laughing-you_93…)

It was me, and I'm going to do it again. Try and stop me.

No. 475265

try to be less of a faggot and people will leave you alone. pretty simple lmao

No. 475269

nta but im not a faggot online at all and i still have my sympathies. shit on the internet is for forever, it ain't fair.

No. 475271

the take away from this should be that anyone anywhere can see what you post. if your sensibilities are rustled by having what you post thrown back at you, then dont post it. you could give a print out of what i do online to my mom and i wouldnt give a fuck. be more careful online if it actually matters to you

No. 475288

My city tweeted out stuff about making period products available for free in all public schools, which I thought was a great thing! It's a small step in the right direction… then I saw people constantly shitting on it, scrotes having the audacity to complain about their tax dollars paying for this, and people going "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HOMELESS WOMEN NOT IN SCHOOL!!!" Like, can we just… enjoy this small victory please?

No. 475317

that's fucking annoying. fuck men and also afaik homeless women have access to that stuff in many places. when i was homeless i got them in a care package at the shelter.

No. 475326

lol i love you anon don't feel so bad!!! you'll get out of that funk eventually and get some friends. i'd love to be your friend just based on this post alone so you're clearly not an unlikable person

No. 475328

I cant fucking socially avoid the guy who raped my friend, he has his disgusting mitts in my social circle. I want to fucking rip his face off and scream at him about how much I fucking hate him. He has done this to more girls than just one but its not my place to speak for the victims and out them, so i just have to grit my teeth and hope I dont loose it every time I see him.

Every moment I'm around him I want to fucking scream and cry, this man has gotten away with so much. I dont know how to confront him without outing the victim and risking harm to her.

No. 475352

i've posted something similar before but i've been raised on xanax for over a decade ("recommended for use for up to 6 weeks") and pill sharing/use is so common in my house i've started taken ambien during waking hours…

you're super not supposed to take both at the same time but the combination of xanax and antidepressant isn't enough to keep me functional. i'm not sure if my doctor will raise my xan script because he already knows him and my parents have fucked me up

i know it's wrong but what should i do??? if i go to another doctor they might p much recognize i'm an addict and take it away, but then withdrawals??? why the shit did my parents give me benzos as a kid? fuck me

No. 475356

if you've actually been on that long they can't just stop your scrip out of the blue. seizures are extremely common in people who cold turkey on benzos and it should not be done. or are you saying your mom and dad gave them to you? either way you need to be under a doctor's care, anon.

No. 475368

sweat off faggot hahahahahaha oh my god what are you
oof sure dad i'll take your advice for sure. which is what, go dark or use a throwaway like this coward cunt? way to miss the point you joke.

No. 475371

You have no one to blame but yourself.
You should know that when visiting these types of sites you are supposed to be as anonymous as possible and not let anyone figure out who you are in real life.
The fact that you let another anon find your identity just proves you are dumb and shouldn't use imageboards.

Also atleast now you know how other cows feel like here. kek

No. 475372

File: 1571687862456.png (2.17 MB, 1678x1630, LORIYOUFUCKEDUP.png)

hi Lori you absolute fucking waterbrain cunt
kek all you want faggot I'm right

No. 475373

im confused af, did lori post that screenshot pretending to be your or what, idgi

No. 475375

I was giving you constructive criticism (but no point in trying to educate a moron)

I also dont follow any threads on /w so i have no idea whats going on but if you are going to act like a larpy bitch then i hope you get trolled more.

Its no ones fault that you are a newfag.

No. 475378

nah she just outed herself posting in her own thread lmao.
okay dad

No. 475379

you know this proves absolutely nothing right and could just mean she took the screencap from the thread because she lurks right? didn't mods already confirm you're self posting? they check IPs before doing that you stupid cow. keep up this shit and you'll get your own thread soon enough

No. 475381

File: 1571690088452.jpg (117.83 KB, 1210x1300, woman-pointing-laughing-you-76…)

Stinkygami EXPOSED and BTFO! How will she ever recover?

No. 475382

File: 1571690267981.jpg (10.83 KB, 276x183, download.jpg)


Who is this horrorgami person and why am i sensing that a thread will be made about her lol.

No. 475391

If a lolcow lived my life they wouldnt be able to handle it. btfo

No. 475394

Hearing people go on and on about political ideas really is driving me into a rage. I went to listen to a libertarian talk today and I really lost it. The people were complaining about how cigarette taxes are violating their liberties forever or something. I think they were all super smug, and it really angered me that they prattle on about ~liberty~ while living comfortably in a European country with a huge social net that they would never leave. I asked them if they wanted to overthrow the government and told them to fuck off because they didn't care about liberty enough. But it's not just libertarians I hate. Leftists, rightists, whatever can all fuck off.

No. 475396

File: 1571692087776.png (25.05 KB, 500x460, i-deliberatley-entered-a-threa…)

>Hearing people go on and on about political ideas really is driving me into a rage
>I went to listen to a libertarian talk today and I really lost it

No. 475399

NTA but
It's IRL jackass not imaginary autistic social boundaries written by online spergs where you have to deal with everything you go in because the internet says so, faggot.

No. 475402

nta but why go listen to a libertarian talk if you hate politics so much, unless it's for a school project or whatever

No. 475403

my parents slipped them to me before i was like… 15? on the daily and since then i've had a script refilled for 5 years

No. 475405

maybe the anon just got triggered into remembering what they thought originally, damn nigga, people ain't that black and white.

No. 475407

That's a good question. I actually really like politics and I spend a good time reading about them on my own. I also feel like I should be openminded into hearing other people's political ideologies instead of being stuck in my bubble. I'm also into some libertarian ideas like freedom of speech.

I just realized now I can't really stand hearing other people talk about politics in real life. I think people sound so smug. For example, I support freedom of speech and think people can be too sensitive sometimes, but the lady at the talk at the talk was so smug about how everyone who is offended should just grow up. She really rubbed me the wrong way. And then the guy at the talk was talking about how all the government should be dismantled while enjoying a cozy life that is supported by the government. And they were all being hysterical babies about how cigarette taxes and public bans on smoking was like Stalinism or something and all of their freedoms were going to be taken away.

I think I will stick to academic political talks where there's less moralizing and more data.

>maybe the anon just got triggered into remembering what they thought originally,
I'm not sure what you mean here? Explain?

No. 475409

didn't mean to sound like I'm shitting on them, it was a genuine question

>I think I will stick to academic political talks where there's less moralizing and more data.

this is how I consume my politics these days, it takes the emotion out if the equation so I'm less likely to get frustrated

No. 475410

I meant what you just explained. That you realized you didn't like something after it happened. Triggered was a weird word to use, sorry lol

No. 475425

File: 1571700460492.jpeg (12.42 KB, 300x250, 1571242941943.jpeg)

My friend from across the world just sent me an audio messaged telling me how much she loves me and it couldn't have come at a better time. Had lots of silly dark thoughts, it's been a tough year and it just made me glad I stuck it out.

No. 475426

i feel so horrible about not talking to my sister for 3 weeks. we had a fight and we didn't speak for maybe a week or so, and then i found out something else and it made me mad and we didn't speak for even longer. i told myself i wasn't going to say anything until she apologised to me first, and she did. we made up right away after that but i just feel so fucking horrible it makes me feel like a complete piece of shit that i would not talk to her, when there's people out there that can't talk to their siblings if they wanted to. we even live in the same household and we just ignored each other for that long. i want to kill myself now i feel so remorseful

No. 475428

It's ok, anon. You seem to actually like your sister, just let her know that, apologise and make sure your silent treatment isn't as long the possible next time something like this happens. Trust me, I know what it feels like to feel that crippling guilt over shit but she's your sibling who you seem to have an ok relationship besides this thing. Just be open with each other.

No. 475429

>i want to kill myself now i feel so remorseful
Wtf anon this sounds like a disproportionately extreme reaction, either the story is missing context or you have some mental health issues that are exaggerating it in your mind. You didn't even wrong your sister, ignoring her is petty and childish at worst, and you made up so what's the big deal?

No. 475430

yes i do like her we really get along. we never really argue ever other than small sister things. thank you this really helps
there isn't really any other context, we just had a huge argument. i'm not diagnosed with anything but i do have kinda schizotypal tenancies when i'm feeling extremely bad about something like i do now, paranoia just goes into full effect for no reason…

No. 475432

File: 1571701606680.jpg (246.2 KB, 1080x1099, 1570321258218.jpg)

Some girl in my class tried to debate on how the USA and USSR are simaler because both begin with US. She wasn't joking at all.

No. 475434

sorry youre going through some stuff but saying you get schizotypical because you get anxious about stuff is kinda whack. anxiety happens, take a deep breath, think about what you need to talk to with her and just address it. your anxiety will get the best of you if you dont.

No. 475445

File: 1571704610408.jpg (36.04 KB, 500x500, artworks-000592263644-uhutvi-t…)

I don't think I'm okay. I told myself this would be my year, this would be my opportunity to meet good friends.

It's not.
I just feel tired, I want to go home. I shouldn't have left my house at all, I thought everything was going to be different here, but it's the same all over again. I've been here just for one month, but it feels like years.

People talk to me, but I know they think I'm just a happy-go-lucky type of person. I always put on this manic pixie girl facade when I meet new people. I cringe at myself, but I cant help it. Even so, forcing myself to be extroverted and social isn't working at all. I know people just talk to me because they are bored and want me to entertain them. I hate when they hype me up with compliments and attention, just to cast me aside the next day in order to talk to other genuine extroverted people.

I'm not going to make any friends. I'm really not okay. I wish I could think about other things, but my mind is spiralling so hard I can't sleep. I feel like shit. I would commit suicide if my family didn't exist. I miss them so much and I feel disgusted at myself for feeling miserable when I know other people have worse problems than mine.

I just wish people would care about me. I wish they would listen to me. I know we got to meet each other just a month ago but I can't help but feel like they're using me. My last and only group of friends did that to me, so now I get paranoid everytime I meet new people.

Will they use me or will they care about me?
I know it will always be the former. I just wish I could give zero fucks.

To anyone who managed to read this nonsense, I hope you have a nice day/night. I wish you happiness.

No. 475451

>>475445 i wish you happiness back too! Building friendships is hard and can fucking suck, meeting new people and trying to gather up energy to getting to know them absolutely fucking sucks but you will eventually. Maybe try hobbies or some local events, i would even suggest not conciously trying so hard but i do get where you're coming from with these feelings. I hope it gets better for you, anon. Also, fuck your ex friends, not everyone is out there to be as shitty as they were.

No. 475461

hi anon, I enjoyed reading your post. I hope you don't put too much pressure on yourself trying to be an extroverted and upbeat person. How far are you from home?
I came to this thread to post about my own antisocial / social failure nonsense; I'm living in asia temporarily and somehow it's not much worse than the no friends situation back at home- that it's more impossible to make friends makes it easier to deal with somehow. Does it help to think - "What would I even want to do out in the world with friends"? Limiting my envy to the realms of conversation and trust makes it less of a pain.

No. 475482

thank you so much anon, I hope you're right and everything turns out good. My mother also told me not to force myself and just focus on my things/routine, but it's hard when I feel alone. I have this need to find someone whom I can rely on, but I guess both of you are right. I'll try to work on it. Right now I don't want to meet more people because I think I have enough with my classmates and the people that live with me at the dorm. Maybe in the future, when my mental health improves.


hi! I'm glad you felt identified with my post. I'm 600 miles away from home, but I don't know anyone in this city and I can't go back home til Christmas. It's the first time being alone by myself, I've spent all my life glued to my family and seeing the same people for almost 15 years. But your situation is "worst" than mine in the sense you are a foreigner.
Regarding your strategy, I don't think it would work for me. I can hang out with people, but as I said, I feel like I'm just an entertainment and I want to be more than that.

Thank you so much for your posts, I really appreciate your words!

No. 475493

My boyfriend's brother came to visit town for the weekend and I think I have a small crush on him.

He's active, sweet, funny and seems like an outgoing guy. Maybe I have a friend crush on him, where I just want to be his friend super bad? No idea. He's a cutie but also 10 years older than me. Working at Amazon and living in my dream city (Seattle).

I love my boyfriend but he can treat everything like a chore, even the simplest things. He's learning how to help me when I'm upset but sometimes turns the topic around and makes himself the victim and then I start to feel bad/blame myself. Maybe I'm just attracted to how successful his brother is right now. My boyfriend and I are just college students. I have a job, he doesn't (he receives money from his parents since they're hella rich but spends 60% of it on vape stuff).

I don't even view his brother in a sexual way, I guess it's just the ideal guy that I want and I hope maybe my boyfriend could mature a bit more over the years… I dunno.

Anyways, he's gone back to Seattle. We plan on playing games together and talking more online. So maybe I could turn this whole crush thing into a friendship instead.

No. 475508

I fucking hate how I looked up extremely degenerate porn and websites when I was a kid at ages 8-11 which fucked me up to have a compulsive paraphilia for it in the back of my mind forever. Thnk god I dont wanna act on it in real life nor do I have the urges too but the porn draws me back in especially when I am physically unhealthy as I have hormonal problems (PCOS) I become more degenerate and very disturbing in my sexual fantasies. Ugh.

No. 475512

I hate my brothers wife/handmaiden so much,
She's a basic ignorant white trash bitch who is a fake vegan, got 3 of her dogs put down cause she couldn't train them, forcing veganism on her toddler, and thinks she's a better parent than everyone that ever existed.
She's also Pro-anti-vaxx and posts about it constantly saying shit like "Anti-vaxx isn't about injections it's about a healthy lifestyle and good eating" and HAS to argue with strangers about it.
She constantly puts down other women and loves saying the N word cause she thinks it's funny.
and she loves to piggyback off the successes of others to validate her own pathetic self-worth.

She recently gave birth last week but avoided telling my parents and they haven't seen their grandchild yet. She makes sure that my parents can never see their grandchildren which is fucked cause my parents have been financially supporting my brother and her for years and helped them buy a house.

No. 475532

Anyone else lose weight and feel like their body looked worse…? I was 200lbs, have lost 40lbs over the summer and my goal is 120. I am fairly short so I was obviously pretty fat at 200, but at least I didn't have all this sagging flesh, and because I've lost fat from my stomach but not around my pelvis I have a fupa. I look like I've given birth to 3 sets of triplets. It's really crushing my self esteem when I've been working so hard to lose weight and now I look shittier than ever. I know that getting healthy is more important than having a perfect body but it's really really discouraging. I just hope the closer I get to my goal the less shitty I look.

No. 475536

I broke down and confronted him last night and asked him why two unrelated women have warned me about him being a fucking rapist, he denies everything. My friends did not back me up as they ''did not know what to say''

I feel so alone and crazy in this confrontation, this guy is going to forget all about people knowing hes a rapist and go back to a life of sucess. He has a sucessful music career, a loving girlfriend and a rich family who finance his fucking music- meanwhile his victims have to read about him in our local papers, have classmates praise him and his band and just live with the fact their rapist is much like every other fucking scrote, gonna get away scott free after causing such harm.

No. 475537

I drank too much this weekend and had to puke.
This morning I stood on the scale and was 2kg lighter…. This is so tempting… If it wasnt for the puffy face and smelly breath you get from it…

No. 475538

don't forget ruined teeth, honey

No. 475540

Oh yeah…. Not so tempting anymore heh.

No. 475541

You do stupid things when you hate yourself.

a few days ago I had to be somewhere but I was still stuck in bed not wanting to move, and I felt so pathetic and angry at myself I got up and slashed a pair of scissors across my leg and arm. Fucking stupid. I haven't done that in a long time. At least it snapped me out of it I guess. Surprisingly I broke skin and there's still a long line on my thigh. I'm so fucking moronic.

No. 475547

you don't lose 2kg of pure fat by puking once. Most if not all was probably food and water weight. Still tempting taking that into consideration?

No. 475557

I know I keep my spouse home as a stay at home dad for selfish reasons (should we ever split it's well documented that I paid for everything and only I can afford to take care of the kids). Although, I kind of wish it was reversed sometimes. What would it he like to be taken care of by someone?

No. 475558

I'm really okay with my body or used to be until I visited my mum. Not even ten minutes after we've sat down and started talking about completely unrelated topics to beauty she had to tell me, "You would be so beautiful if you tried. You just need to lose weight." Also, "Why don't you wear makeup? You have such a pretty face."

Obviously, saying that you have a pretty face and then suggesting that you need to put makeup on makes it seem like a joke. But I know my mum means well and she loves me. I just wish she would stop unintentionally make me feel terrible about myself. I have huge insecurity issues that I'm still battling. Ever since I moved out I've started accepting myself. But with her, I just sink back to point zero.

No. 475565

That's fair. I didn't make it clear.

I'd like to be someone who is fair and open minded to different political ideologies. But I think it's hard to do now when other people don't bother to put in the same level of effort and use their politics as an excuse to be smug. I guess maybe other see me as smug too.

>this is how I consume my politics these days, it takes the emotion out if the equation so I'm less likely to get frustrated

Do you have any suggestions?

I really was triggered. I think the main speaker was annoying especially because of his talk on free speech so I asked if he was Jewish because he had a big nose. Then I gave him a big hug. Apparently it's fine for people to stand on the street shouting slurs all day but what I did is "aggression". lmao, libertarians are such whiny hypocrites

No. 475660

We ran out of heartworm medication for my dog and have to buy more. My dad has an account on 1800PetMeds and we usually buy it through there because he already input the vet's information so we could buy it but problem is my dad always forgets what password he used for that account and has so many fucking passwords and iterations of those passwords that we'll sooner get locked out than guess the correct one. I think we've already reset the password multiple times but this time I'm going to make it one of my passwords so I can get in easier.

I've tried to make my own account and input my dog's vet info but I guess we don't have the paperwork with the proper info on it. We usually keep any/all vet paperwork in a file for her, but for some reason, her heartworm medication prescription is the only thing missing. Uggggggghhhhhhhh. I just want to buy her stupid fucking medication!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No. 475677

I feel so retarded, I let myself be tricked as a teen and now 10 years later I’m finding out even more lies. Why was I so stupid? How did I allow a person in my life so long that was too coward to even tell me his true identity.
I was so lonely as a teenager and they took advantage of that, I was so mentally ill at 20 and they came back into my life and took advantage of that, and then they left without a word.i got on the plane to leave and I got ghosted. I let a guy who lied about everything to fuck up my life for 5-6 years.

He wasn’t even cute.

No. 475689

File: 1571768252124.jpeg (498.19 KB, 750x405, 3FB37D7E-6A5E-46BF-A89B-6573E2…)

For someone who is alone almost 24/7, I'm really quite bad at being alone. I've been pretty isolated from around 2-3 months now and I still desire connection with others and close friends. A relationship too, even though I know that's pretty pathetic. I don't find solitude in being alone like others do. Do I just have to wait to get used to it? Or am I hopeless?

No. 475694

you can seek advice in the recovering NEET thread for help

No. 475695

File: 1571768602944.jpg (677.83 KB, 3019x3019, 7b36f6f.jpg)

i just learned that the guy i liked used me to make someone else jealous haha how are u doing?

No. 475697

I've never been a NEET, though. But thank you for the reply anon! I'll check it out

No. 475702

Fuck that guy. Anon, move on and don't give him a second thought.
Are you isolating yourself out of necessity? You can always try to make online friends.

No. 475731

This is teenage drama levels of petty, but I eas talking to my dad about how my blood sugars were acting up and he said if my period was coming. He asked me 3 times in row each time no and he was mad when I got irritated by his questions. I went on a 1 hour Google spree looking for whats causing this and the dude who took care of my diabetes for 8 years can only come up with menstrual cycle.

No. 475756

I got a sniffly runny nose out of nowhere starting yesterday and I hate this FUUCCKKKKK

I have a nasal inhaler that works pretty well but I'm always paranoid about using it too much and fucking up my nose from overuse ughhh

No. 475778

You would have to use it consistently every day for over two-three weeks for your nose to develop dependency on it so you should be fine if you keep that in mind. There's fairly frequent reminders of using them wisely in my country because so many get hooked on them.

No. 475792

oh my fucking god. i just had a co-worker take a photo of me with their brand new camera and i look like complete shit. i mean, i could make excuses like how i haven't been able to take care of myself lately due to severe depression but fuck me i ALWAYS look bad in photos. i can't help but feel that i really am ugly as fuck.

No. 475807

File: 1571787696815.jpeg (162.89 KB, 611x640, 6F83B71A-A01E-4CDD-91BB-29B14A…)

>ended a toxic friendship with a close friend i had exactly a year ago
>literally took me this whole year to get over it and reflect on how bad it was
>come to find out she's been pulling the same shit with a new close friend
>can’t warn any of our other friends because she twists the story to make herself the victim + many of them suck up to her

i will say though that it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders talking about what she's done and being able to joke about it with new friend.

No. 475821

Has anyone here ever got the feeling of growing out of something that has always been super present in your life?
I have always been on weeb circles, cons and stuff. I made some good friends there. However, most of the other people I know there just don’t speak of anything outside of weeb shit. And I’m quite tired of that.
Recently I got to interact with people at a show of a band I love and it felt so nice. Talking of other things I like was relieving. It was like entering a new world, where I also felt that I belonged.
Now, however, I’m going through a sort of crisis. I still do like my weeb shit, but am I finally growing out of it? Have I only stuck to the weebs my whole life because I didn’t have the condition to interact with people from other circles (I didn’t have the age to go to clubs and some concerts until recently)?
I dunno, I just feel like I’m going through some sort of change and am questioning my whole life and tastes.

No. 475823


same boat I think, I was into weeb shit way before the concept of being an internet weeb was a thing. Now I just can't get into it and I'm unironically just seeking a "normie" life. I feel like I'm just too old for this already. Problem is, my SO and people around me are still weebs and I just can't walk away from it as much as I want to.

Although, I'm not fond of clubbing and all that other social shit. I think I'm at that point where I want quietly live somewhere with a cat.

No. 475825

If you still like your weeb shit don't stress over it. It is normal for regular people enjoying variety and exchange. Just enjoy different things and stay with whoever keeps you curious, let your brain breath!

No. 475826

You can have the best of both worlds

No. 475840

Anon my bfs family is the same as yours. Urine from animals soaking shit, cigarette smell, garbage, no one cleans, no one works. He was the only one besides his mom that had a job and he was incredibly unhappy. I convinced him to move in with me and he didn't want to because he felt obligated to take care of them even though he was nearing thirty years old. I can tell you that now that he's moved out he is very happy and has a great life. He takes care of himself, lost weight, has money and time for himself, and most importantly he doesn't spend all of his free time depressed and shit posting online. When he goes home now he says how depressing it is and how he never wants to move back. I think it's the best thing he ever did for his own mental health and well-being. Don't let your parents drag you down the way his did; you'll be so much more whole and alive when you get away from the toxic environment your family has placed you in.

No. 475851

I hate when i’m nice enough to offer people sauce or a dipping and they double dip, like have some fucking manners that shit is gross, I don’t want your germs in my food. Even at parties people who double dip like i swear that was an unspoken rule when sharing dips and sauces, im absolutely disgusted. Don’t fucking double dip it isn’t hard, no one wants your saliva in their dipping sauce. I’m very heated over this even though it’s stupid but it’s as annoying as when someone chews loudly or with their mouth open.

No. 475852

That's just basic manners, maybe offer a spoon though to avoid it?

No. 475865

It's also just wildly unnecessary. Take one huge scoop of dip with one chip or dip some more with a new one.

No. 475887

I finally cut my narc of a mother out. Since I was in high school she’s been this perpetual victim because things didn’t work out with my father (he was also very much of a dick, and abusive mentally and physically with her a few times)
and she started popping pills. I turned into her mom, and she’s about as worthless as they come now. My grandma foots her bills, cleans her yard, pays/organizes her repairs, and more. My grandma enables her, and I am sick of it.
My mom has been an actual cunt to me for so long, and expected me to be her emotional punching bag and maid for so long.
I cut her off, and she of course tried to manipulate me.
But at this point I just feel a lot of anger towards her, and I have lost sympathy for a lot of addicts after my experience with her. Which isn’t right, but I just don’t care. The abuse I’ve endured for years doesn’t go away.
I’m finally free of it.

No. 475890

Awesome job Anon, you deserve the freedom. Don't respond to any of her attempts to get a reaction out of you. She's might start to pretend to play dumb for a while, it's only a trick. Keep yourself in focus. You're a strong person.
I had to recently stop all communication with my family because of my narc mom so I understand what you're going through. My boyfriend had to deal with her antics for a few days and he literally felt like he was going crazy, just goes to show we're stronger than we think.

No. 475927

bitter fatty chan rant incoming

i'm so tired of every piece of media just making it out like all you have to do is stop scarfing down chocolate and cake and maccas every 5 minutes to drop 50 kilos. i was always pretty chubby, and it bothered me aesthetically but i carried it well and i always had a boyfriend or girlfriend or someone interested in me. however, i have PCOS and endometriosis. in 2017 i had to drop out of school since the pain had become so bad. that halted all activity i had and i became a shut in neet since then. i do admit, for a few months i did turn to binge eating and drinking to deal with things. but that only ended me up about 10kg heavier. after those few months i quit drinking, resumed my regular healthy diet but the weight never went away, it just kept piling on no matter what. i guess it was because i don't move. my weight has stagnated at 115kg now and rarely moves up or down. my average daily diet is usually: 2 pieces of toast or leftovers from last nights dinner… and a dinner myself or my parents make with plenty of veg and a small portion of meat and carbs (i don't like meat and i'm trying my best not to eat too many carbs). when i bring it up to my doctor he just acts like i'm a lying fatty chan and tells me useless boomer life advice. i counted my calories every day for so long and i should have been losing weight all this time and nothing changes!!!!!! then when i watch shows and they portray weight loss as this easy thing where you just stop stuffing your fucking face and become a model. inspiring stories are all the same shit. even if i lost the weight i'll be a disgusting sack of rotting loose skin but i just want to stop feeling so fucking heavy and unable to do anything on top of the rest of my bullshit. everyone always says just eat less calories but its a lie, you have to starve yourself to get anywhere. the only people i actually know who achieved major weight loss admitted to me they just starved themselves. am i just a retarded fatty who needs to starve or am i doomed? i qualify for gastric band surgery under public healthcare but i feel like it's such bullshit to waste peoples money on something that can be achieved with self control. and the horrible yards of loose skin aren't going to be covered anyway.

No. 475929

Thanks for that anon! The warning on mine says to not use for more than every two hours/over three days so I try my best to keep it to 2 days!

My nose is definitely feeling a bit better now, less runny but just a little more congested, but I'll take that over a leaky nose!

No. 475956

you know how people often escalate in the lead up to committing crimes? I feel like i'm watching my dad escalate, but i'm too scared to tell anyone. He's always been aggressive, but recently it's next level. I'm scared of him. Terrified. I think he's going to end up seriously hurting me or smash up the house. Mum normally keeps his anger in check somewhat, but she's working away from home a lot. I kind of want him to do something extreme so he can be arrested, but I don't have any faith in the justice system so? I'm always worried he's going to end up killing me, but I don't know if that's realistic or I'm just so traumatised.

No. 475959

I feel you. I weigh 75kg at 170cm of height but I can't seem to lose the weight even though I ration my portions. Anyone who looks at me probably thinks I eat pizzas a lot but I don't. I eat healthy because I like and I do feel healthy, it's just that it's not reflected on me. If I go to the doctor, she tells me eat soups and veggies, move more etc. Oh, yeah, I had no idea I had to eat light to lose weight. So I've counted religiously my cal intake, because I know people say, well you're probably not aware of how much you eat. Even if I eat approximately 1000cal daily, I still remain the same. The crazy thing is if I eat 1600cal - 1800cal, I also remain the same. It's like I'm stuck. The scale doesn't budge much. It's such a fucking mystery to me. My brothers used to mock me for being fat but they've seen me struggle and even during celebrations and family events I just pass on food and drinks. Yet they remain slim and I'm the one that's the fat sheep of the family.
It's not my main issue but I hate being the fatty in my group. I don't enjoy going out, I don't enjoy life because I just feel so gross. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. I hate going shopping. Nothing fits my pudgy body. And then you have people that tell you to just eat less. If I have to eat less than 800cal to lose weight, seriously what's the point? There's no way to maintain that. And I'm not aiming to become super skinny, just dropping 5-10kgs.

No. 475961

if you eat 800 cal to lose weight then go back to eating normally what you eat you won't gain, just maintain.
You are eating maintenance level now, which means your metabolism is probably a bit on the slower side? Im not particularly active but i maintain at 1700.

No. 475971

right. it's so frustrating having some dumb bitch tell you to just eat less ! :)
like no shit, it's clearly not working. i find girls are the worst about it, at least men are too retarded and just blame female hormone body voodoo and run. even other fat women are like well you should just like idk eat less????? i eat a lot teehee but could drop it if i wanted to xPPP
imagine being WILLINGLY like this fuck. people who don't try and still succeed or succeed with the tiniest amount of effort drive me crazy

No. 475986

Are you getting medicated for your PCOS? I couldn't lose weight no matter how little I ate or how much I exercised until I did, now I'm down 20kg with WAY less effort. Intermittent fasting also helped jumpstart the weightloss big time (helps combat the insulin resistance which will keep you fat). It really sucks how badly understood PCOS is and people will run their mouths online how it's not a big deal, in reality it's pretty much the reason you got fat in the first place.

No. 475987

Is there anyway you can get out of that house? Living in fear is terrible.

No. 475999

I took home a Tinder date last night and we fucked. Tbh I didn't really want to. I just wanted a free meal lmao.
He seemed engaged in what I was saying.
He complimented my appearance and made sure I knew it.
The sex wasn't bad.
I'm not saying he was ugly or anything. He seemed interesting and was skinny, fit, and had these gorgeous dark almond eyes. He read me some of his poetry off his phone and showed me his short and long term goals list.
He lives on the opposite coast so I'm sure it'll be adios in a couple weeks anyway once he's done with work out here.

Anyways, he was honest and didn't "trick" me in any way. I was just too meek and horny to say no, maybe a part of me wanted to take him home to explore. I liked the way he cuddled and kissed.
It was a very neutral experience and I'm still digesting it. I can't say he was a douchebag, or an asshole. He was just a nice attractive guy. C'est la vie.

No. 476036

My Mum is a borderline hoarder- she’s always internet shopping, and never getting rid of stuff. I say borderline because its not at the point of crawling across stuff or anything, I have a routine to upkeep areas of the house to be habitable. But I hate living around piles of stuff everywhere, clothes that never get washed, mountains of paperwork, toys from my childhood she can’t bear to give away. On the other hand, she’s the type of person to watch Hoarder tv shows, turn to me and laugh “Just shoot me if I ever get that bad!” She’s convinced that everything she keeps is worth something, she’s going to make a profit when she resells it online! But I know her, she will never, ever go to the bother of selling any of her shit. I try and sort through items with her, and she gets gradually frustrated and starts snapping at me, to the point where I’m literally in angry tears and have to not be in her company. She gets agitated and says ‘I know I’m like a hoarder, but at least I keep nice things. It’s my house and my money- I can do what I want with it’
I can’t stand it. It puts such a strain on the relationship between her and my Dad. It feels as if she loves her piles of shit more than she loves us. It’s embarrassing that I could never invite friends over, or we couldn’t have family gatherings. I feel like I’m becoming a neat freak cause I barely keep anything of my own now. I don’t know, I’m just tired of it.

No. 476070

File: 1571854412753.jpg (11.37 KB, 275x265, 1531730708029.jpg)

god i'm so sick of being a kissless handholdless virgin I'm so tempted to just lose my virginity to some random on tinder so I can stop giving a shit about it. I'm 22, I feel pathetic. I'm not even that uggo I'm just a fucking sperg.

No. 476073

bitch is probably scared of poor homeless druggies.

No. 476074

One of my coworkers is such a snooty ass bitch I can't stand her ugh.

We were talking about rent and housing prices at lunch today, one other girl and I are relatively fresh out of college and still haven't moved out yet. We live in NYC so rent prices are exorbitant and we were all just sort of complaining about that. This snooty co-worker was saying how she was planning on moving to some neighborhood a while ago and figured it was nice since there were a lot of new developments and modern buildings in the area. She went to visit and said that she didn't want to live there anymore because, I kid you not, "it wasn't gentrified enough yet, there were still so many ghetto people" and said in probably a few years it'd be nicer.

I'm so fucking dumbfounded because why in the fucking world would you want more gentrified neighborhoods? I live in a decent, very immigrant populated, neighborhood and it's so fucking sad to see shitty new luxury buildings being built left and right and driving up rent like crazy. It sucks to see all the places I loved as a kid shuttered up their windows because they can't afford the insane prices to stay. It fucking sucks!! Housing is already insane and you want it to become more expensive??

We were talking about another apartment related thing and she said "yeah but for that price it probably wouldn't come with a dishwasher or washer/dryer…" Like uhhh, sorry that you can't bother to wash your dishes by hand or go to a laundromat? That's a luxury, not a necessity.

She also frequently makes this very rude comments about where I live like "oh wow anon! I can't imagine living in your neighborhood! It's so dangerous!" Like yeah, it's not fucking Tokyo and there are some shifty characters around, but it's not like there are crips and blood members crowding the streets or other people walking with guns out in the open. It's mostly just innocent immigrant families hustling their way to survive and minding their own damn business! I see more families and small children out and about than I do someone who looks like the caricature of a hoodlum that she thinks my neighborhood is crawling with!

No. 476077

Sorry had to delete my original post because I thought the wording was fucky haha, but yes!

She complained once about some black people around her apartment and said "they were probably up to no good!" Like fuck bitch, maybe they were just waiting for a friend? I'd have a bit more sympathy (I get suspicious looking randos outside my building sometimes too) if she wasn't so blatantly racist all the time anyway and screams the exact same thing about any person with skin darker than a sheet of fucking paper.

No. 476082

My mom doesnt actively buy new things all the time but the stuff she chooses to keep are just wtf. She insists on keeping cleaning tools (she doesnt clean, I do, and I dont use half the shit we have) and instruments (nobody plays them). But she wants to donate her wedding dress? Like…thats the hill you wanna die on, keep all this dumb shit thats in the way that nobody uses but throw out something expensive and sentimental. Imagine being on your death bed like damn glad I kept all that trash that I KNOW my kids are gonna throw out now :^) the emoji is sarcastic, mods.

No. 476084

What are the fantasies? Maybe they are more common and normal than you think.

Also, if you saw pornographic material as a child, see a therapist if possible, it was probably traumatizing in a way

No. 476087

Your mum is literally my dad. He buys so much junk, I want to fucking take away the internet from him. There's so much small, unnecessary useless and cheap shit to very, very expensive stuff like luxury watches, bags, and jewelry. He goes on this stupid auction website and I hate it so much. He always says "Well it's actually XYZ cost and I only got it for ABC" while ABC cost is still like $600. He recently discovered Facebook marketplace and it's driving me and my mum up the fucking wall. My mum takes care of all the expenses while my dad just charges shit to his card and I know it financially stresses her out, and he has the audacity to ask me to help her out financially when hes the one putting all this strain on her. I would help, but why should I if the money I give her is just going to fund his next stupid purchase? I want to help, I want my mum to not be stressed and worried over finances, but I don't want to indirectly fund his purchases! He throws shitfits all the time like a fucking manchild so my mum won't take away his credit cards. He gives my mum his whole paycheck as if that absolves him of all financial responsibility. I love my dad but I wish he would fucking stop.

No. 476088

22 is not even old. I know gorgeous girls who lost it after 23-24 because they were looking for the right person.
Also sex is overrated and the first time is probably the worst time because you don't really know what you like yet, as sex feels very different from (and often not as good as) getting yourself off.
Try to meet new people but don't just do it with a rando, if anything just to spare yourself a bad experience.

No. 476089

File: 1571857137245.jpeg (254.67 KB, 1080x2220, Screenshot_20191023-183747_Pok…)

pokemon go sperg reporting back, this time I managed to trail my towns poke go group successfully and snagged that darkrai!! weird smudge is editing out messenger bubble lol, anyways, my 1st t5 raid poke!
dreams do come true gals!

No. 476090

My cat is being put to sleep tomorrow. I have had her ever since I was a kid and even though I more or less knew this day would come soon, it still hurts like hell. Her health has really deteoriated during the last few months and I know she is in a lot of pain right now and it’s better for her but I am still so upset. I feel guilty of not spending enough time with her the last few years because my new apartment didnt allow pets so she had to stay at my mom’s. I don’t even really have anyone to talk with because my friends haven’t had pets (or haven’t lost them) so they don’t really seem to understand me rn.

No. 476095

I'm so sorry anon. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through right now. At the very least, you'll be doing the right thing so she doesn't have to be in pain anymore. I hope you'll be able to spend just a little more time with her before tomorrow. There's no use in dwelling on the past and not being able to spend more time with her back then. Give her a kiss on the head, tell her how much you love her. Your long life journey with your cat is now coming to an end, and I'm sure she's appreciated all the love you've given her.

No. 476097

Oh my god, I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I've had my current cat since childhood and her dying one day is one of my worst nightmares. Don't feel bad you didn't spend as much time with her these last few months. It was out of your control. I'm sure you gave her lots of love. Try to treasure your time together. Take time to grieve. Cats are family. Even if your friends haven't had or lost animals themselves it sounds unempathetic to not understand your grief atm.

No. 476125

I hit a stupid fucking trashcan driving my fiance's car and the passenger side mirror is fucked! I feel so fucking stupid! I want to research how to fix it myself, but he wants us to go to a mechanic and that'll raise our insurance and I don't want to spend $300 when the parts cost nothing! I'm just so fucking annoyed!

No. 476129

You don't have to report it to your insurance if you pay out of pocket. It's up to you if it's worth it.

No. 476136

File: 1571867570245.jpg (121.18 KB, 750x1000, Shall-We-Dance-1000.jpg)

Why is everyone so fucking rude? I went to the bio lab at the community college I'm dual enrolled in and I wasn't sure if a class was in session. So I asked, the person at the front desk told me "Well, all the classes take their bio sessions here", how tf does that answer my question? I'm not familiar with shit at this school tf? That should be obvious since I was asking a question. Anyway, the guy in charge came in and I asked him about the job, he told me "Did you apply", I didn't realize that there was an option to apply since it wasn't clearly listed there. He told me that there was an option, so I told him I came in to make sure it was still available since some of the jobs were dated far back. Also the hours wasn't listed, he told me only morning slots were available that last 8-12, so I noped out of there. They should list the damn hours so I didn't need to go through all that shit, could've spent that time studying.

This is pretty minor compared to what the rest of you guys are going through tho. Just had to vent!
I wish I could stop making mountains out of molehills :( I'm so obsessive

No. 476144

File: 1571868787424.jpg (46.51 KB, 512x512, 1488963056123.jpg)

I'm gay, but recently I feel more and more desperate for being loved to the point I started thinking about switching my tinder to guys for a while.
I know I won't be sexually attracted to a guy. It's so hopeless.

No. 476146

Just go to a lesbian event you aren’t the only desperate lesbian and even amberlin Reid got a gf

No. 476154

File: 1571870703096.png (209.82 KB, 511x420, 1512365350749.png)

I have this strong desire to go into a STEM career but honestly I'm not smart enough. I excelled at math and science when I was younger but now it feels like my brain has just switched and I can barely do basic math. Even my speech is shit and I can't talk without sounding like a stroke patient. My mom (who is a nurse) jokes I might have brain damage but honestly I think I might from how I always drool on myself, I'm basically a fucking brainlet. I want to go into STEM but also I'm terrified of the amount of trans women. I was raped by a trans woman 4 years ago and I still have severe PTSD and flashbacks from it, and it's effecting my relationship with my boyfriend now. I feel like my brain is just stunted from what happened 4 years ago and I'm going backwards in life because I've been a NEET for over a year now. I wish I could start my life over and go into a STEM career (I would want to go into chemistry or biology).

No. 476162

if i ever see my ex again im gonna kill him. its been four years and i still have nightmares about him.

No. 476164

Oh my god what happened? Is he stalking/bothering you?

No. 476169

Have you heard of programs like ADA. ADA allows tw (at least in theory I see very few on their promo material) unfortunately but I've seen other female only programs.

I feel you. Been there. We out here making female only STEM spaces.

No. 476187

I think my husband tampered with my computer and doesn't want own up to it. My harddrive was messed up and today I was unable to turn in a school assignment that I had on there. I don't want to ask him because I don't want to start problems with him but I'm so fucking torn because I had pictures from when my kids were babies. Its been such a shitty day I just wanna cry

No. 476194

File: 1571880862153.jpeg (97.83 KB, 933x898, FE358892-92F2-45E8-B190-F2AA65…)

I had to have my cat that I’ve had through my whole childhood put down last year because she was suffering from kidney failure. A few months ago my iPod that had all of my pictures of her on it broke and I feel like I’ve been on a downward spiral since and I just feel so fucking stupid

No. 476198

Have you visited some kind of repair shop to see if they could extract the picture files or is it just wrecked? Anyway, I'd be devastated as well so don't feel stupid about it.

No. 476202

File: 1571883580018.jpeg (112.46 KB, 700x999, EGI1nqWVUAA291L.jpeg)

Idk how to come to terms with the fact that I will never have a bf that's as good looking as my ex bf. My ex bf was everything I wanted physically in a man (extremely beautiful feminine anime-like face, around my height, muscular, full head of soft black hair, pale skin, youthful), men like him are very rare. He was severely mentally ill and I just couldn't get past that, but I still sometimes feel salty that I'll likely never meet (much less date) a man as attractive as him.

No. 476203

It fell into water, and everything I’ve read basically says i’m SOL unless I pay $200+ to apple which just upsets me more

No. 476206

I gained 20-25 pounds in the summer and I'm so damn sick of it. My clothes aren't fitting properly and I can't focus on things because I'm constantly uncomfortable and thinking of the weight especially on my stomach. Can't wait for this shit to go.

No. 476222

does anyone else feel like being alive is so nightmarish? it just feels like a terrible ride. it's uncomfortable all of the time, literally 24/7, nothing redeeming about it. it's often frightening, but at best, it's incredibly uncomfortable. i understand that many people are miserable, but they seem to have general enjoyment of a few things that they seem to use pretty effectively to distract themselves. i wish i had that at least. being alive is just too bizarre.

No. 476232

are you me let's lose it together anon!

No. 476244

Wow I'm going through this right now too anon and reading this made me not feel so alone. My ex was so awful as a person I don't even miss him but I am constantly hurting over how I know he'll be who I compare every new guy to. My type is also very rare and I hate how impossible it feels that I'll find another man I'm fully attracted to who also fulfills my specific kinks like my ex did.

Despite our tastes being rare, I hope we find another someone of our special types who fulfills us in every way one day.

No. 476268

maybe consider going into "soft" stem like bio related areas, it skews slightly towards women (like 60:40 in my uni) and I have seen one troon in my 4 years here. possibly bc we have courses that explain differences between men and women kek. you can get into biotech or bioinformatics if you want something more physics or maths based!

No. 476326

> the amount of trans women

You realize that irl trans people are extremely rare, right? I go to the largest tech university in my country, which is located in an extremely liberal city. Still haven't seen a single trans woman there. There are some masc female students and teachers tho. But still, not a single trans woman or otherwise feminine male.

Outside of that, i also know dozens of people in various stem fields, who also don't know a single trans woman.

The only trans women i've ever seen irl were full time sex workers.

Just get into stem. You can still quit if you don't feel comfortable. Don't let the thought of trans women ruin your dream.

No. 476346

I hate working with Indian men but of course they're everywhere in retail and somehow in authority roles even though they're for the most part always incompetent. I hate working with them because they're so misogynistic. You can't even reply to them even in just a neutral tone or they sperg out and say"'OKAY NO NEED BE SO ANGRY. SO SASSY! "You girls are always like this." When you're literally just using your normal voice. And they make really weird comments that they think are hilarious but its just pure cringe and awkward.

No. 476358

A friend just broke up with me because i was annoying…before she broke up with me she just list everything i did that seemed annoying to her even though they seem to be very small and innocently enough. Now i just cant go through my day without thinking everything i did is annoying, i held myself back and become less chatty, there's just this voice inside my mind telling me to stop every time i try to do stuff. Am i that annoying? Why is this affecting me so much?

No. 476360

Don’t be so hard on yourself, anon. I had to experience this with a close friend and it fucked me up completely since I was a teenager. All the time I felt guilty and annoying, wondering if people liked me or were only pretending.
Truth is no matter how you are and the things you do, if someone doesn't like you that won't change anything. Making a list of the things she doesn't like about you seems childish and petty. A true friend would never make someone feel not worth it of their time / friendship.

No. 476363

I hate myself for being the one constantly trying to make up every time I argue with my bf. I love him and so he does, but he's an arrogant fuck and won't ever be the one coming up to me.

No. 476380

No, I haven't, but I'll definitely look into that thank you for the suggestion anon!
Thank you anon, that's probably a good idea honestly. Originally I wanted to get into programming and coding but /g/ kind of scared me off from that [stupid I know].
Yeah that's true, it's probably just me being scared and having my own bias. Thanks anon.

No. 476383

> I wish I could start my life over and go into a STEM career (I would want to go into chemistry or biology).

1. there's no trannies in STEM, it's a 4chan meme
2. there's even fewer outside CS, like in chemistry and biology which are fields with a lot of women

No. 476385

That's super annoying. I dealt with this and similar issues in my relationship too. What worked for me was being calm and rational and setting a good example with my behavior in those types of situations. Then I move on. Eventually he realizes that he's the only one left acting angry/weird/crazy and he follows my example for how to behave.
Sometimes people just don't know how to initiate any type of conversation after a fight, much less how to start an apology.
After a while it'll become familiar and once you settle on a method it'll become "your (you and bf's) way" of dealing with stuff.
If your man just doesn't give a fuck then you're in trouble and should take the garbage out where it belongs.

No. 476388

Aw anon. I'm so sorry. This must be devastating. Hold onto the ipod, maybe one day you can pay to restore the precious memories within.
And don't feel stupid. We've all been there. I lost all my photos once and since then I started using MEGA to backup my photo collections. Protect yourself from future heartbreak and backup your stuff from now on, if you aren't already of course.
Hugs to you and to the memory of your sweet baby.

No. 476454

I feel like such a dumb stupid bitch. I don't know why I'm fucking crying. I was lazy and skipped my morning class and I worked myself into a pissy mood because the other people on my club executive board are dumb and now I'm crying like a little bitch after ranting at my computer because my stupid fucking professor's directions to install the fucking software are like incomprehensible to my fucking pea brain and they're formatted so stupidly, why the FUCK would this brain dead bitch make full size fucking screenshots so fucking small so I have to zoom in like 500% and then can't read the fucking directions? This shit should be so fucking straightforward and yet oopsy poopsy my retarded ass can't get the damn thing to work. I bet the people next door are going "jeez what a fucking spaz" GOD I GOT FUCKING 8 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHY AM I SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL?

And this isn't gonna change. When I see the stupid fucking counselor here she's like cool how you doing then I rant or whatever and she just listens and goes "ohemgee you're totally valid" basically fuck I'm just a braindead dumb bitch and this is how's it's going to be, never going to kill myself going to keep muddling through life being a total fucking imbecile. Oh boy!

No. 476471

I feel ignored by everyone. My friends. My partner. My coworkers.
I feel insignificant. I thought being alone hurt but what hurts me the most is being with people who don’t notice me at all. I feel like my feelings are useless, all this pain and anger, how much I’m hurting, it’s not important at all.
I just wish I was dead.

No. 476502

aw shit anon i'm so sorry. i know that feeling. at least you know he ain't shit now rather than years down the line

No. 476517

I'm sure you're not stupid, anon. Like you said, the instructions are just unclear as fuck.

If you haven't gotten it by now, did you try looking up alternate sources online?

No. 476527

I kinda get what you mean, I think. Sometimes I feel really dumb and ungrateful because I have a bf and quite a lot of close and casual friends, but often people don't really reach out to me to talk or do something unless I do first. So I kinda drift from one occassional party or hang-out to the next.

It must be devastating to have no friends or significant other - no doubt about that, but there's a particular kind of solitude and loneliness to having them and still feeling alone.

No. 476528

why are men so shit at communicating? or so easy to make a problem out of nothing? my dad has really pissed me off and acting like a literal man child. i refuse to be made to feel guilty for a problem that isn't even a problem or take blame for something that is his fault, because he doesn't know how to use his fucking words, and would rather just wait it out and shift the blame and put us both in a bad mood. ugh!

No. 476543

My dad will be bothered by things but not tell anyone. He'll let this go on for weeks and then randomly blow up in anger about it. Its incredibly stressful and it would be better if he just told us he was bothered by whatever it is when it happened, but he can't communicate.

Probably not as bad as what you're going through but thought I would share.

No. 476556

File: 1571956946647.jpg (33.1 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)

i'm so confused as to how I continually put in zero effort at work and just fuck around on my own personal side projects 80% of the time yet my boss thinks i'm basically a genius and i'm getting promoted.

she asks me for updates on shit and I just lie & put doing the work off until the absolute last minute, and when I show her the end result she's amazed by how good at my job I am. I did the same in high school, college, past internships etc. and also did really well. as a result I have no motivation to ever try hard because i'm getting good results by barely doing anything. I always feel like my luck is going to run out and i'm going to get found out or caught in a lie or something but this has worked my whole life, so…

is everyone I work with just utterly incompetent and stupid, so I just seem smart/hardworking in comparison? is my boss delusional? wtf is going on? are any of you guys the same way?

No. 476557

I can relate, I was really lazy and never studied for any of my exams until the last possible minute, but still got much higher marks than any of my friends, despite them studying like mad. I do think it’s a personality thing - once you know you can do a good job rushing at the last second, there is no motivation to spend weeks working on something. I think it’s more impressive that you’re able to do a better job and achieve more when not putting all your energy into your work, than your coworkers do with all of their effort!

No. 476571

Oh God. The humblebrag is strong with this one.

No. 476572

File: 1571962208134.jpg (73.88 KB, 750x759, 5p6t729h63h11.jpg)

>TFW you spent all week googling how to fix chronic high blood sugar
>But now you have to fix chronic low blood sugar

No. 476576

Not to be an ana-chan but I want to be thin so badly. I’m always -slightly- in the overweight category, I have been the same weight as long as I can remember. My willpower is just shit - I know I would feel much happier and more confident in my appearance if I lost even a little bit of weight, but implementing long term healthy habits feels impossible. It’s baffling to me, because when I turned vegan, it was absolutely no bother to cut out milk and cheese. My morals are far stronger than my will to get eat for the sake of my health/happiness. Carbs are just so fucking delicious guys.

No. 476579

File: 1571963808486.jpg (9.69 KB, 275x123, 1546221013166.jpg)

Did something i thought i never could, feel overwhelmed but in a positive way i think. I am feeling all the fucking feelings. I have no one to share this with, it's vague but it's huge.

No. 476580

My sister is one of the most annoying people in the planet. Men kiss her ass because she's very good looking so she dismisses everything bad that happens to other women like she's above them.
We were having a family dinner and when I was telling my parents about a friend who's struggling with her abusive boyfriend she said my friend is "probably a desperate fat girl" and that she's tired of "ugly girl talk".

No. 476585

You may be really good at your job, and end up 'fucking around' because you ran out of things to do. You may be bringing in enough money to your company that they overlook you doing other things because you're still getting the work done. You may be very good at manipulating those around you–consciously or unconsciously– so they think you're always busy. You may be working in a field or area where even if they know you're not working most of the time, the cost of training a new person would be burdensome. You may just be too self critical; sometimes non-essential tasks lead to new ideas and innovation.

Regardless, don't lie. It's easy to extend forgiveness to someone for a small mistake or error, it's much harder to forgive or trust someone who knowingly and repeatedly lies.

No. 476594

did yo have an affair?

No. 476601

>>476594 nah, but i can now see it either looks like i fucked or murked someone. Just a huge progress in recovery, anon.

No. 476607

I have resting bitch face and I'm so FUCKING tired of people making comments like "you look SO excited/happy to be here!!" "you look like you have SO MUCH energy!!" with a fucking obnoxious smile on their face. Or they just say I look tired/sad/unhappy. It's so rude, why do people say things like that? It wasnt funny the first time and isn't funny the millionth time. Why do people say stuff like this, do they think it's funny or something? It's such a pointless stupid, annoying thing to say and they always look disappointed when I don't laugh.

No. 476609

good for you then!

No. 476610

silly anon, you need to walk around with a smile or sultry pout 24/7.

No. 476611

What if your boss thinks you're retarded or something and feels sorry for you?

No. 476615

lol you're just as shallow as MRA's.

No. 476769

I've gained a huge stress belly and it pisses me the fuck off. I'm thin otherwise and have a defined waist but I have a massive, protruding pot belly that feels hard and firm to the touch. Wearing fitting pants is hard because my stomach starts hurting from the pressure. Does anyone have any advice regarding how to deal with it, other than "just don't stress so much" because atm that isn't an option.

No. 476774

If you're actually honest about you not doing anything worthwhile and getting rewarded for nothing and not bullshitting us to humblebrag, then it might be something very surface level. You might have attractive, sympathetic looks and a pleasant personality that allows you a ton of leeway with your work. It happened to me at one of my first jobs ever when the older female employees thought I was adorable I guess and felt protective over me, so they basically treated everything I did as the work of a genius. It wasn't very flattering in the long run and gave me a big old case of the imposter syndrome so I understand where you're coming from.

No. 476782


have you heard of Pete's law? thats what happens.

>"people in a hierarchy tend to rise to their "level of incompetence". In other words, an employee is promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a level at which they are no longer competent, as skills in one job do not necessarily translate to another."

Luck does run out eventually and for some people it means crashing and burning their careers when they reach that point where their incompetence leads to catastrophic results and reputation damage. Don't get overly comfy and try to remain ahead of the curve.

No. 476785

Bros, I just legit do not get gentics. Supposed to write a short essay on 2 research articles, one trying to refute the other and like I don't get their arguments at all. Why couldn't I have another biochem course instead, I'm offing myself on this library pc with extremely clickety keyboard.

No. 476790

Kek research articles are the worst, they’re written for people who are experts in the field so don’t feel dumb if you can’t understand them. What are the articles about?

No. 476805

I've been thinking about volunteering, so I decided to do some research on the possibilities and what's available etc. ALL THESE REQUIREMENTS YOU HAVE TO MEET JUST TO VOLUNTEER???!!! what the actual fuck? It's like I'm applying for a full time job

No. 476830

Looks good on resumes. People without experience use it to get better jobs. Too much offers leads to better combing through.

No. 476840

It's about the genetic basis for MS, I understand the topic itself, like what the og study set out to do, why, etc, but the rebuttals to it I just don't get. And it's not due to academic language either, it's the statistical reasoning so I think I just may be brain cell deficient lol.

No. 476853

>went on a date last night
>guy was ok, kinda boring
>religious type
>works with one of my acquaintances and she said nice things about me
>after dinner talking in the car
>seem to have a lot in common and want the same things
>politics and religion come up
>staunch god believer and Trump voter
>"The reason I voted Trump was because I couldn't let Hilary win!"
>politely inform him that while the US voting system is flawed, voting for the lesser evils is a dumb way to vote and everyone should be able to vote or write in for who they want
>Trump is an idiot and a bad businessman
>doesn't try to tell me different
>it didn't turn into an argument or anything, but I could tell he felt threatened because I didn't just agree when he said that even though I did agree on some points
>walked me to my door and said goodnight
>shot him a standard post-date goodnight and thank you text
>get this response
>"We can hang out again but just not in a dating capacity. You're sweet and nice but I just feel like our differences would cause arguments in the future."
>oh ok then, night!
>deletes his number

What a weak faggot, definitely the type who needs a pickme.

No. 476858

A guy I know has just got his gf pregnant again, they already have a kid together and he doesn't want this kid. He told me how he's not gonna have anything to do with their second child because he only ever wanted one child because he has no siblings. He said as well, when the second child is physically here he's not going to bother with it and when it turns 16 he's gonna tell it that he doesn't love it and only ever wanted the first born. He said hes gonna make it obvious as the 2nd child is growing up that he prefers the first child more. His gf is still with him??

I just can't believe this mindset?? it's so awful to punish a child, your child, because you couldn't be arsed to wear a condom! I feel disgusted, my friend says he doesn't mean it and probably wont do it but ?? the fact he's thinking of it anyway shows how horrible he is.

No. 476859

I woke up last night just a minute or two before I heard my parents start arguing. I don't know what it was about, but they were trying to pack stuff up to ship back to our relatives overseas so it's something about that. My mum started screaming at my dad about how he always gets upset and throws a hissyfit over one tiny thing she does wrong, starting throwing stuff, and then just starting bawling. I hopped out of bed and just stayed with her to hug her and try and console her.

It feels so fucked up to see my mum cry like this. My parents are both very… not emotional people I guess. I always get berated when I cry (even if it's over movies), and the only time I've seen her kind of tear up was when I started crying at the thought of losing our family dog.

No. 476862

Listening to my moms asinine 'what caused my eczema' rants piss me off.
>Its because your blood sugar is to high all the time and the rashes are your body way of expleling sugar. If you controlled it your eczema would go away.
My blood sugars are literally in the ideal range
>Its because It's a side effect of my MLM pulls detoxing you
I throw those pills away without taking them and my cousin has no problems
>Well now it's genetic between you and your cousin.
But my cousins sister and brothers have no eczema
>Your cousin has more of the eczema gene and she eats unhealthy.

She does this all the time. Doctors are wrong and her 5 minutes of googling are right. Except of the doctors agree with her then they arent 'liars who misdiagnose and want money', but people of authority to listen to. I fucking hate her because I hade clear eczema problems and Im only going to a dermatologist on my own terms because she would use her natural creme that made things worse

No. 476868

I think I'm getting unwell again and I don't know what to do. I'm a mum now, I can't just lose it. So I just sit at my computer all day writing feverishly hoping to expel how I'm feeling. It's not working.

No. 476881

A "booktuber" video popped up in my recs about things she wished authors would stop doing. It was mostly stupid shit that could be fixed by simply not reading YA fiction in general? It's such a shitty genre that very obviously panders to actual teenagers and no woman over the age of 20 should be complaining if they choose to read such trash.

No. 476882

link? I wanna be salty too

No. 476897

It's getting colder and darker, which means: time for me to get more tired and depressed than usual.
On top of that, I'll soon get period-depression which is just gonna make me feel 10x shittier.
There are one or two days during my cycle where I feel super energized, and overall, just feel good in my skin. I sometimes wonder if that's how normally functioning people feel like. I wish I could always be in that state.

No. 476906

Yesterday my boyfriend postponed our plans from last night because his friends were upset that he left hanging out with them on Wednesday to come pick me up without telling them he’d only hang out for 3 hours instead of all night (he hangs out with his friends every day) and he had to make things right by hanging out with them last night. I let him know that I wasn’t mad at him, just wanted some time alone, and was going to text him tomorrow (today). He was really apologetic and respectful, which went over way better than I thought it would, but I texted him this morning to thank him and wish him a good day and now it’s been hours without hearing anything. I know I’m the clown in this situation and I shouldn’t have upset him last night if I still wanted him to like me today, but shit, I was just protecting my own feelings cause I know I would’ve stayed upset last night if I was waiting for him to text me or hearing about how much fun he was having with his friends. Now I’m just extremely anxious and I feel like a horrible person for wanting space for one night after being really disappointed!

No. 476914

>I was telling my parents about a friend who's struggling with her abusive boyfriend she said my friend is "probably a desperate fat girl" and that she's tired of "ugly girl talk".
Holy shit rekt. Your sister is a cunt but lmaoooooo. Just laugh next time because it's such an absurdly cunty thing to say, and because it's legitimately funny.

>I know I’m the clown in this situation and I shouldn’t have upset him last night if I still wanted him to like me today…
Girl. Love yourself. What did you even do "wrong"? Tell him you were disappointed that he ditched you to appease his man-child friends? Just tell him it's gay to ditch your gf for your friends.

No. 476916

>it's legitimately funny
Not really, her sister needs to fatten up on some humble pie herself. She sounds stupid and vapid.

No. 476920

I'm at work right now and got a call from the hospital that my grandpa is having a second stroke right now and that he might die. Can't leave work yet either fuck I'm literally crying in front of the customers. My dad is dead so my grandpa really was a father figure to me. Fuuuck I wanna die

No. 476921

Dear god, that's horrible. If you're crying at work surely asking to leave would be worth a try? Jobs can be heartless like that though. I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

No. 476923

We're understaffed at the moment so it's just me and my boss here. Can't leave. I don't know what to do. What if I get to the hospital and he's dead. Like literally how will I survive after this. He's my only happiness in life

No. 476943

That's why it's funny. It's absurd. Anon should just laugh in her face.

No. 476944

have you told you boss what's happening? surely they'd understand? I really hope you get to see him alive, anon!

No. 476946

How the fuck do you study when your depressed? I'm so done with life, I wish I had the guts to end it all. There's no hope for me at all, I can't escape the cycle of self sabotage and self hatred even with therapy.

No. 476950

Does your school have a services for what you’re going through? When I was borderline suicidal, I was able to talk to a therapist at my uni. I’m sorry, anon. I’ve been there. It definitely sucks.

No. 476968

>anon should just laugh

No, laughing at the shit she says is why her sister's face is begging for an acid attack to begin with.
She says shit like that because there's never a real consequence.

No. 476999

This. It's occasionally funny when a ruthless person you know makes a witty comeback and sometimes it's funny enough to make you break the serious tone, but in this case it sounds like anon was venting to her parents in a concerned way about her friend and her bitch sister wanted to be the centre of attention.
What she did was rude as fuck and she sounds like a nightmare.

To the anon op, I have a bunch of siblings that would do shit like this to me a lot like make fun of things I liked or whatever to bring me down constantly and it sucks. One day your sister will learn.

No. 477001

How old is this guy and is he autistic? And does he say this in front of his girlfriend or just to you? Either way I am intrigued. How do you know him?

No. 477033

Sorry, I'm kind of late with the reply. It was a bunch of stuff that her community suggested, but that she agrees with.

No. 477062

File: 1572039956255.png (268.33 KB, 468x468, 333E1F61-DA82-477C-92A8-2291B9…)

tfw it’s really hot out and I want to wear a short-sleeved shirt to work but I have dumb self harm scars on my wrist from when I was 14/15 so I can’t

No. 477064

If they're few and not too big no one will really care. You could put some bracelets on since they're just on the wrist area. My entire underarm is shredded now so can't do that anymore but worked great back in the day lol.

No. 477067

Acid attack, seriously?

No. 477069

It's called hyperbole.

No. 477080

I watch this youtuber a lot and she reads a lot of non YA. But in this video she was reading suggestions from her audience who probably mostly read YA.

No. 477087

Writing my OCs with my favorite fictional characters together is such a stupid hobby of mine, but I could do it forever.
Whenever I feel anxious I just start writing and temporarily forget about everything around me and it just makes me feel so stupidly happy. I have an entire folder on my PC which is filled to the brim with endless text files about all kinds of stuff.

It's the same with daydreaming. I do it so much and whenever I can; I do it on my way home, on my way to college, in the middle of class, before I fall asleep and when I wake up I'll just lay there for 5-10 minutes and just let my fantasies go wild.

There were times where I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling for solid 2-3 hours straight but in my head I was seeing the most entertaining shit ever.

It's kind of pathetic but it just makes me really happy and lets me forget about all my problems and worries for a while.

No. 477088


No. 477091

Anon, that's far from pathetic. As long as it doesn't consume your entire life I'd say it's harmless, cute and creative. I mean, how else are books written?
Writing daily for like 30 minutes gets so addicting too, I'm always looking forward to my little time out kek

No. 477092

>My entire underarm is shredded now
Mine too anon. The scars are colorless but they’re raised bumps that are pretty visible especially under certain lighting. Oh well.

No. 477105

I'm sorry about that. Some of mine are really deep so they're raised or quite wide too. I do wear my arms out around friends but around strangers and family I just can't. I'm envious of people who managed to contain their self-harm and got over it fairly quickly. Turned into years of addiction for me and still a battle. Is what it is.

No. 477107

Oh, I didn't know saying autistic incel things could be blamed on hyperboles.

No. 477108

I found out my work tried to call me yesterday and even left a message but my phone didnt give me a notification for the missed call or the message. Its never done that before and I feel like such an ass(:

No. 477161

File: 1572056595006.png (Spoiler Image, 71.66 KB, 1408x186, Screen Shot 2019-10-25 at 10.1…)

i hate people who feel the need to input their sexuality (if you can even CALL 'asexuality' that) into everything. i was just scrolling reddit to enjoy the new bojack discussion and someone is in there with screencap above. no one cares that you're ace, why even mention it when you talk about disliking that storyline when it has nothing to do with it? then the username…gay ace? is that the only thing interesting about yourself that you have to offer? maybe it's just me but i don't think asexuality is a real thing.

No. 477164

no doubt there will be some angry asexual reading your post but they arent a marginalized group and have no need latching on to lgbt anything.

you dont need a sex drive to understand what an affair can do to relationships. but ive also rolled my eyes too many time at seeing profiles listed as poly trans ace demi. wut

No. 477167

Not to wk the op but the series has asexual characters so maybe thats why they had to mention it lol, this season did make me feel kinda meh too though.

No. 477175

okay but the asexual characters weren't the ones being involved in the affair soooo it wasn't necessary to mention.

No. 477178

Am I fucking retarded? I've been lurking some discords, normie and degen alike, for awhile now and haven't been able to integrate… How do people just go on and on in chat and bantzzz about absolutely nothing? Why does everyone seem so comfortable with each other immediately? I don't ever know what to say. On the rare occasions that I have input on a topic, I get all self conscious about suddenly showing my autism but silent all other times. I just want to have some human contact man…

No. 477179

just post memes my dude

No. 477184

are you me. i can't even do it here because i'm a wannabe normie bitch and i don't care for memes

No. 477197

should she post frogs?
dunno. they question this how to do this irl probably. every single discord person is socially awkward. i guess you need to join discords that matches your interests and the memes that you meme. if you ask me discord is really shit and shouldn't be used by anyone but egirls and eboys. just do stuff irl or online with irl people or irl-online stuff with cool non-chan people.

No. 477200

So I feel like a fucking degenerate but I've been in a relationship for almost 4 years and I'm no longer attracted to my bf….. today I found a video if him in 2012 and he looked so much better but then he was underage what the fuck is wrong with me why am I not attracted to men that look their age

No. 477201

I sometimes think about this guy that I used to have a class with who seemed in love with his gf. His background screen was a pic of him with her and every time I saw them together he'd be affectionate with her and I never saw him checking out other women.

I didnt have a crush on him or anything but I keep thinking about how I will never have a bf who is like that with me or maybe one at all. Sigh

No. 477211

He died

No. 477219

RIP, anon. My condolences are with you.

No. 477221

Did you leave work so you could see him one last time? Was he conscious at the hospital? I hope you are okay, anon.

No. 477228

File: 1572068829863.png (18.36 KB, 271x271, Grace_in_Facade.png)

….4 years makes that big of a difference? explain

No. 477231

did you manage to see him? and my condolances, I'm really close to my grandpa too so I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

No. 477232

Anon… you will get through this.

No. 477249

File: 1572070534949.jpg (83.56 KB, 570x807, il_570xN.930451577_g09k.jpg)

Try linen or other summery fabrics. You could also do lacy cardigans.

No. 477250

Not that anon but my ex got fat and started to prematurely bald within four years, not to mention his teeth took a nosedive from lack of care and drinking.
Four years can change a lot.

No. 477251

Quit moralfagging.
>weh stop saying bad thing on internet about a gross bitch that said something irl hurtful and bad about her own sister's friend
At least waste that shit on someone actually defendable.

No. 477252

Yeah you are a degenerate unless there's more to it than his looks.
How would you feel if he preferred the younger looking you? If there's more to it like things he's doing or saying then understandable, but otherwise you are just being a shallow knobhead.
Do you not see yourself growing old together? Or did you visualise him looking different as he aged? Or are you admitting you have a problem with young looking men, e.g. ehebeophilia/pedophilia?

If it's only his looks, perhaps you can do subtle things to help change it without hurting his feelings.
My boyfriend put on weight a while back, and although I didn't mind, he said he was feeling insecure about it and was eating more due to work and stress, so I helped him out and we went for more walks together and I helped him a bit with his diet. There's more than sexual attraction in a partner and this is important because we all get old and ugly in the end.

No. 477254

Agreed. Anon's advice to laugh at her sister was terrible advice as well. The sister in question sounds like she feeds off attention and laughing at the situation would just probably egg the bitch on more.

No. 477260

Sisters before hoes tbh, nobody can talk about my non-existent sister like that.

No. 477270

The acid comment did sound incel like but I think they were right in the way that the sister doesn't understand consequences.
People like that do have a habit of getting punched in the face one day. Tbh I have way more friends that I would trust to help me or confide in than my own sisters. They were so fucked up to me growing up and now they are both fatties with spawn and try to suck up to me on the daily like they weren't assholes to me growing up about my body or shyness.

No. 477271


not only could i care less about what kind of people someone likes fucking but i could care even less about someone not fucking anyone. I think asexuals are very pathetic in that regard, i avoid lgbtqasdadsdfmkdfm not because a taboo or rejection to their proclivities but because they insert their sexuality in every instance and is not possible to have interactions with someone like that without wanting to eye roll every 2 seconds.

No. 477276

What you have with your friends I have somewhat with my family I guess. I do gotta say I don't even give 1% about my "friends", though. They're not bad as my other "friends" in the past were but I doubt I'll see these ones forever either and that they wouldn't fuck me over if I'd give them the chance.

No worries btw, sure I recognize what anon's sister said was wrong btw, but I didn't say much aside from calling out the other anon about the retarded acid attack comment.

No. 477279

>except aces to be all virgins
>they're actually more promiscuous than humans

They don't seem to be celibate for the most part so I guess asexuality doesn't really exist.

No. 477291

People who identify as asexual are always the most annoying, whiny snowflakes ever. Also, if they're a gay ace, wouldn't they also be annoyed at all of the heterosexual relationships portrayed in the show because its not ~engaging~? Or do they just want to flaunt about how speshul and ACE they are?

Also kind of an OT nitpick, but the show kind of did address the age gap between PB and Pickles, albeit in a subtle way. Pickles is constantly on her phone and broadcasting her life on social media, which PB is shown to be slightly uncomfortable with and not really understand, because they're from two different generations.

No. 477304

I'm going to vent here about my weird family situation as I have no idea who to talk to without receiving weird looks.

I'm at my last semester in my uni and until now I have been living alone in a small apartment that is owned by my grandparents.
My parents live in a neighbouring town, but few months ago my father got a job abroad which requires him to be away from home for 3-4 months (then is back home for 2 months). My mother can't stand living alone by herself so she decided to live with me. Since it's not my apartment I don't have a say in it but I didn't have that much of a problem with her living with me either.
Now my brother who is 12 years older than me and already has a wife and a daughter. His daughter is 6 years old and basically both my brother and his wife try to spend time with her as little as possible. They send her off to her grandparents for 4 days a week (every week) and for the rest they pay a nanny. It's always under the guise of them being super busy with their work even though during free time they still party a lot. They even hired a nanny to take care of her for Christmas ffs.

While everyone is aware of the problem, nobody calls it out and my mother developed a weird one-sided rivalry with her daughter in-law's family and started telling my brother that he can leave his daughter in her care as much as he wants, and of course he does.

The problem is that my niece is super spoiled and attention starved 6 year old (basically her parents just buy her gift instead of spending time together) and my mom decided to prove how she's the superior grandma by spoiling her even more. This results in kid screaming and fake crying every few minutes, literally unable to stand not being center of attention.

This is already a shitty situation, but what's even shittier is now that my mom lives with me, my niece spends majority of the week in my apartment too.
I'm already not really a kid person and while I try to love my niece, I'm starting to detest her along with my mother and I feel really guilty.
I started spending majority of the day away from home, in libraries or on my part time job, eating shitty food in student cafeterias and so on. I tried cohabiting with and even raising my niece but it's futile since mom just spoils her rotten and acts like I'm hurting her if I don't let her have something right at that moment. Coupled with the fact that kid always demands to have someone to play with, screams for attention constantly, it's just living hell to be in that apartment.

I've considered moving to a new place, but rent in the place where I live is so high my part time job can barely cover it.
I'm deadly tired, hardly finding energy to study and I'm getting fat from stress eating cheap deep fried shit in my cafeteria. I'm so close to exploding.

No. 477312

>retarded acid attack comment
I just laugh that you chose that to pick out as "incel" when if anyone's the incel it's OP's sister assuming anyone with a relationship problem is a desperate ugly or fat woman.
You completely missed "calling out" the real incel of the story.

No. 477319

i am in so much dental pain. i have private insurance but im too much of a poorfag to use it despite sinking about 500$/mo for the american privilege to have private insurance. i need like two tooth extractions but the fact that they are so bad its not so much that the dentist would just pull them and i pay 200$ a piece, they require more work that that so im looking at a way larger bill. like wtf?? i have given my insurance company almost 5k this year and i have not been able to get anything from it besides maybe it would cover my ass a little in a er setting from a bad accident or something. this country sucks.

every week i feel like i reach new levels of pain i didnt think possible and i think that dying is easier than dealing with it anymore and not even in a depressed way. just like make this pain end.

the worse part is that you can call up places and tell them that you have insurance, you cant afford it but youre willing to pay every month (legit, no scam) and all the suggest is some dumb care credit. like a credit card that only dentists take, i fuckin swear. but you know, this is a first world country and maga and shit. our military is amazing and big but our people are without medical care and food and homes and shit.

No. 477321

I was flirting with guy#1 for a few weeks then at a party where we flirted and I was sure we'll get home together he left early and disappeared. So I found random guy#2 and I slept with him. But apparently Dumbo #2 is friends with #1 and told him he fucked me, and now #1 is mad at me and #2 is more interested in another woman.

Why do they make it so fucking hard to find a fuck buddy for God's sake I just want to get some action on a weekly basis. Am I just to ugly or bad in bed that I can't find one?? Wtf

No. 477323

so why are you ensured if it's just a money sinkhole? In my country you're obligated to have a basic health insurance, but that's not the case in America is it?

No. 477326

I didn’t get to see him. After work I called my sister who was there with him. She told me to not come since grandpa was in so much pain and couldn’t even see or feel that she was there. She said that it would be a bad memory for me. So I went home. Went to sleep. At 3 am he died and I went to the hospital and saw him for the last time.

He had a stroke last month. I was there everyday with him. Seeing him recover. He would kiss my cheek and wipe my tears when he was conscious. These past few days he just suffered though. Then the second stroke came.
I miss him so much already. His voice. His blue eyes. His gentle hands. I don’t know how I’ll get through this.

Thank you all anons for your kind words.

No. 477331

private insurance companies are scalpers basically. medical costs are insane and the requirements for government funded care are stringent. they can absolutely get away with charging whatever because they know people need medical/dental/mental health care always. i pay for this not only for me but my children so a family plan will cost more. and if youre offered insurance through your job (not always the case especially the young or half time employees) the employer chooses the company they go with. so you could potentially have someone who will chose a company because they are 'good' or you could get someone who is cheap.

No. 477340

Have you tried to see if there's a dental academy or school within a reasonable driving distance anon?
They're a bit of a pain because it's first come first serve, but they do legit have low prices and can work out a payment plan.
You don't even have to tell them you're insured if you don't want to.

No. 477349

in just the little time after i posted that, i did. there is a really good dental school in a big city near me and i have a tentative appointment in about two months. it hurts to hear that i have to deal with this so long but the fact i have people who will fix what i need for pittance (i intend to tip if they will accept) i am endlessly grateful. thanks anon. its not always a thing people think about but medical universities do like hands on experience.

No. 477371

he is autistic, he said it to me and a friend and i have no idea if his gf knows but i doubt he'd hide it from her.
I met him as he's a friend of my friend and boyfriend, we have a shared hobby but i don't feel comfortable doing it with him anymore cause of his attitude, i'll just do it by myself or with my other friend.

No. 477378

I hate being at work. All the bullshit and weirdos I have to work around. When I come home I can't even be alone. His friends are always over here now, while not in the house, in the garage, the yard, yelling, being loud, still able to give me anxiety and not feel comfortable in my own home. I want solitude.

No. 477380

I'm so happy someone understands why I said to laugh in her sister's face in >>476914.
I started to feel kinda bad for saying that bc of all the serious replies I got. I was like damn maybe I should give some more realistic advice. But this isn't the advice thread and I wanted to take the piss.
Sorry for making fun of your situation, OP who was probably actually hurt and annoyed by her sister's callousness.

t. someone with not the heart for shitposting

No. 477390

Have to go into work for a 6 hour shift with only one 10 minite break on only 3ish hours of sleep despite trying to fall asleep earlier. Kill me pls

No. 477403

File: 1572109722200.jpg (92.97 KB, 500x500, spsps.jpg)

I know this is selfish and irrational, but I feel uncomfortable when someone I'm friends with has other friends.
It's improved since I was a teen and used to lash out at my friends for "pretending to like me" and "not caring if I was dead" but I still feel that regularly, just more diluted and I deal with it differently. I've preemptively pushed away multiple friends who clearly do like me just because I was afraid of them eventually pushing me away. The usual.

Idk. It's probably a combo of being rejected by my father and having a clingy relationship with my mother (only child), so on an emotional level I feel like relations are either "they hate me, find me worthless, and want to get rid of me" or "I'm their world and they love me more than anyone else." So if it's not fully one it must be the other!!

It's just rearing its head again since I made a friend from a group project and I'm growing afraid that he's closer with other people in the group and secretly dislikes me. Obviously it's his fucking right to be friends with whoever lmao, but I fear they're doing it at the exclusion of myself because I'm ugly and too socially inept.
I haven't had to deal with it for a while since I've been isolating myself, which of course convinces me that I'm over it. Like never going swimming and telling yourself that you've now overcome your fear of water lmao. I just don't want to fuck up and either ghost him afterwards or flip out again, since I'm quite fond of him.

Reading this over I know it seems like some borderline bs even though I'm pretty sure I don't have it.
But…I also don't have a therapist or psychiatrist so I'm dumping these feelings here.

No. 477404

From my previous experience "Gay ace" means "I'm actually straight but either don't realize it or am too afraid to admit it due to the need to preserve my social woke LGBT credit, so I'll just say I'm asexual so I'm never required to be intimate with my own gender because it grosses me the fuck out". Insert retweets about asexuals being oppressed because every horny degenerate normie wants to fuck anything that's alive while the tender ace snowflakes are more invested in ~soul bonding~ and they don't get enough representation in children's cartoons.

No. 477408

Gods no
Fanfiction is a cesspit devoid of creativity

No. 477412

It mostly depends on what it is and how it's written. I've seen a bunch of teenagers write better stuff than some of the authors these days.

No. 477417

File: 1572111687778.jpeg (302.03 KB, 699x498, DC67DA64-6F7F-4D3A-98A5-6AC09B…)

Anons, I really really love my cat. I know this isn't exactly a negative vent, but I still just want to sperg out about how much I love my cat somewhere!
Right now, he's sleeping on top of me and everything just feels so peaceful. He's so beautiful, I really feel like he is the perfect cat for me. I've had him since I was 3 and I'm just so happy that I still have him! He's pretty old now, but he's still surprisingly healthy.
Ragdolls are my favourite cat breed and HE is my favourite cat. Egyptians were right when they worshipped these little furry fuckers. I think animals can bring a lot of happiness into people's lives, especially those who are lonely. It's cute.

No. 477421

My childhood cat died last week and my father only told me now. I knew that she was old and she couldn't live forever, but it still hit me so hard, I even called mom and now she is crying too. I try to remember good times with my kitty and appreciate them, but it only gets worser because I understand that all of those things will never happen again. I couldn't even be there with her and now she's gone

No. 477426

Sending more love, support, and strength your way. Hugs

I totally relate to your pain. My beloved cat passed in a similar way and I'll never stop hurting over the fact that I wasn't there for her last moments… I wish I had a remedy anon but I don't. Hugs to you too.

This is cute and relatable anon.

No. 477428

oh anon, I would hug you if I could, I'm so sorry.

No. 477429

Me too anon! I never thought I could love a pet as much as I love my cat. He is my first cat and I adopted him from a shelter almost a year ago and as soon as I laid eyes on him I knew I had to get him. He fit into my life like a puzzle piece. He's such a little gentleman about everything and so easy going, I can't believe anyone would give him up. Anytime I look over at him and see him curled up in his bed or when I hear him doing soft little "mrr"s for attention my heart flip flops.

No. 477430

i'm sorry anon, i know how you feel though. i know you might not feel better for a long time if ever, but i hope you have peace.

No. 477439

My father is trying to sabotage my relationship with my mom and other relatives. I've been having mental health problems for a long time and was trying to confide in both of my parents a while ago, when my father took me aside and told me to not tell my mother because it would make her sad and worry a lot. This is not the first time he tried to do this. Last year I was admitted to the hospital because I had a panic attack at school and had to go to the hospital (I first thought that I had a stroke or something was wrong with my body) where he then told me if it would ever happen again I should not tell my mom or my grandparents. The thing is, that my mother always asks how I am doing and if I am feeling ok, so I am always on the verge of crying because I am not allowed to tell her when I do not have anyone else except for my therapist to share my worries with. I also can not tell her that my dad told me to not confide in her because I do not want to cause problems within their marriage. I can also not tell my brother - we do not have a good relationship (thanks to my parents playing the golden-child-and-bad-child cards when we were younger) and I am sure that he would be very angry about causing problems for the family and side with my dad. My therapist is saying that a lot of my mental damage was done by my parents and I will move out when I finish my studies and find a proper job to be independent from them. Rn I'm stuck living with them because I have to pay for my studies and my therapy as I go to a private doctor which costs a lot of money (but already helped me a lot).

No. 477443

File: 1572118912507.jpeg (14.15 KB, 384x384, images (18).jpeg)

I got put on Vyvanse and Ritalin for my ADHD a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to really sleep since. I'm currently on day 7 in a row without sleep. I look and feel like absolute shit. I've read that people have trouble sleeping when first getting on ADHD meds so I'm praying I adjust soon. I have a limited number of sleeping pills I've been using very sparingly because my follow up appointments aren't for awhile, but my country is extremely stingy about prescribing them so I doubt my doctor would give me more anyway. I have had a long history with insomnia due to untreated ADHD, but good sleep hygiene enabled me to have a sort of ok sleep schedule. Now it's completely useless. My brain just won't shut down without a sedative now that I'm medicated. But if I stop the meds, I will become completely dysfunctional again.

If this doesn't get better by the time I see my doctor again or if they don't have any solutions, I think I might actually kill myself. Better to end it quick instead of a long, protracted death by exhaustion I guess.

No. 477445

I had a kind of lame friday night playing board games with some people I'm not really close with and so I went to bed last night feeling really dumb and unfulfilled cause this is college and if I can't bother or don't know how to make strong and fulfilling friendships here, what chance do I have afterwards?

So then instead of just masturbating and falling asleep I spent 4 hours on my cell phone and fell asleep at 4am. And I woke up at 10am today and have done nothing since except waste more time online and it's 4pm now. Cool.

No. 477446

Oh anon, I'm sorry. My family had to put down our elderly cat a few weeks ago. She had health problems but was stable and everything happened really fast. It might have been the worst emotional pain I've ever felt. I'm still crying about it a few times every day but over time the pain is becoming more bearable. I have a picture of her on my wall and I boop her picture's nose every time I leave my room. I talk to my phone wallpaper of her sometimes and tell her how much I love her and miss her. You're going to feel completely terrible for a while but it will become more bearable and the good memories of her will become more prominent. Please be extra kind to yourself for the next little while.

No. 477460

I think I fucked things up with my crush by getting too drunk a couple of nights ago and saying some really horrible shit that I didn’t even mean. He made a pretty innocuous comment on something I’m kinda touchy about and I just lost it on him, insulting the fact that he moved back in with his mom and does 4chan/vidya all day in his 30s. (I’m in my 20s and recently moved out of my mom’s after living at home for a few months to save money and get my shit together, so I get it. I also spend too much time playing Nintendo and browsing this site, so I have no room to talk.)

Now he won’t talk to me and I feel like shit.

No. 477462

File: 1572122594484.jpeg (1.61 MB, 1484x1775, E4003B75-DCA8-4886-A37C-9BAB33…)

My one ex moved back into town and I saw them unexpectedly at work. When we broke up we weren’t on bad terms but I was having a horrible time with things at home and I felt like I’d be dragging them down. I just feel sad now because it seems like they did a lot over the last couple years and figured their life out while I still haven’t.

No. 477501

i took a nap earlier and i had such a vivid, sweet dream about having kids with my ex and i can't stop crying because it'll never, ever be reality but it felt so real. i want to take these feelings and bottle them up so i never forget them. i don't even want my ex back because he's a terrible human being, but i didn't know that until after we broke up. when i was in love with who i thought he was, it was real. i loved him and that dream was the future i thought i was going to have with the person i thought he was, and it hurts that it can never be reality. i do miss him, the 'him' he presented to me, but that person doesn't exist anymore and i can't quite seem to get over it.

i'm talking to someone new, and he seems okay, but i don't know if i'll ever trust a man again. even if i do, it'll never be the same. i'll never have those "first love feelings" for anyone else ever again, and i hate that my scummy ex ruined that for me.

i need to stop being so emotional, but i can't fucking help it. this shit hurts me.

No. 477555

Maternal grandma died. Dad tells us he has had a serious decades long drinking problem. Within the span of a week. I’m fucking tired.

No. 477559

pansexual is literally just another snowflakey term for bi and you’ll never change my mind. it has always seemed to me like some kind of egotistical “look at me.. i’m such a good person i’ll date everyone and bisexuals only date two genders! look! someone give me a gold star” identity and it's such bullshit.

No. 477560

Manager wants to write me up for not clocking out for break and giving them a paper I have to fill out for them to adjust it. Literally getting written up for giving them 30 minutes of free work and why even provide the correction forms if you’ll write up people for using them? If I get written up i’m quitting, this is just the cherry on top of all the bullshit they pull. So tired of having to work every place i’ve worked at is plain shit.

No. 477561

I'm bi because I don't date trannies. Pans date anything.

No. 477607

Because by law you have to take a clocked out 30 minute break if you worked a certain amount of hours (assuming you're US). Employers can get in big trouble if it looks like they aren't giving their employees the legally required amount of breaks. If it's the first time you've done it it's stupid to write you up, but if you're a repeat offender you're a liability.

No. 477608

I feel like i've always and always will be sad. no matter what i do, the feeling doesn't change or go away. I'm actually surprised i've lived to my age, 20. I've attempted to off my self on two different occasions but i was a coward.
I have support and love right now from others but i still can't help but feel like a burden to them.

No. 477611

It's crazy how much you people trust psychiatrists when all they do is come up with solutions such as this

No. 477615

What's the alternative? Psychiatric medicine is mostly trial and error, sure, but no treatment at all is even worse.

No. 477630

>but no treatment at all is even worse.
Are you sure about it? You don't even know if the pills are treating anything, the good doctor just prescribed them and you started gulping them down. The combination could have given you a heart attack by now. On top of that, you're trying to counter that with a sedative, and

>I think I might actually kill myself.

That's suicidal ideation, if you tell that to the good doctor he can have you committed to a mental institution. Does that sequence sound like a treatment for a problem… or a problem itself? If I gave you a pill of methamphetamine you'd refuse it, but because you trust a doctor's authority so much you've been swallowing a pill with basically the same thing for a week now.

No. 477637

jesus anon 7 days? have you told a doctor that you've been awake for an entire week? it's better to sleep and be dysfunctional than to die. i'm sure your doctors would agree

No. 477638

Pans are literally straight people who date trannies. Every time. It's always a girl dating a MTF or a girl in a straight relationship with a cis man who wants to be woke.

No. 477643

The problem is that I was completely dysfunctional before but also not sleeping well. I slept better than I did now, sure, but think no sleep 4 days in a row instead of 7, or getting a couple hours every other night. I hate being on medication, trust me. I avoided it for years and did CBT only, and while it did help, it didn't close the gap between function and dysfunction. If the pills didn't help me day to day so well, I'd have stopped them the first week. If I could sleep a few hours a night I'd have no complaints at all…

Also a doctor will not commit you on ideation alone, at least not in my country - here we are literally like 20 years behind countries like the US for mental health. If you don't have a plan or aren't schizophrenic they don't care. Months ago I tried to check myself in and got turned away because I had no plan, even though I just wanted to die so bad. Guess they were right because I'm still here, but I've been treading water for awhile now.

I have told them and was told I need to "wait it out" until my follow up in 2 weeks and practice meditation/sleep hygiene/take sleeping pills as last resort in the meantime.

No. 477653

I don’t know how to process the fact that I’ve been married for years and today, my husband abused me. I have no one to tell. No one to swoop in and pick me up. I’m low key so terrified of him right now, which is something I’ve never felt before. He screamed in my ear to the point that, now, hours later, I still can’t hear. I think I might be going deaf anyway and I don’t know if I even care. I feel like a worthless piece of shit, I can’t even imagine calling my distant family to explain this, to beg for a place to stay. I can’t leave, I have nowhere to go. I hope he just lets me kill myself, at least give me that solace.

No. 477656

is there no women's shelters nearby you can go to? or any online resource you can talk to and they can help you with your situation?

Don't feel worthless, he's worthless and awful. Im so sorry you are in this situation anon. Don't kill yourself please and try to find some way you can escape, your life is so worthwhile and will improve and become better than you can imagine once you get out of this situation. Try to reach out to your distant family, I don't know your situation but they may actually want to help you! if not just try absolutely everything you can to leave.

No. 477657

SA, to clarify, I know I sound dramatic, that’s something I’ve been called a lot. But I’ve lived through so much with abusive parents, boyfriends, ect. I’ve never once felt afraid of my husband until tonight. I’m obviously not going to go into details because it could be harmful for me. But I saw something change in him tonight and I don’t know where to go from here. Just leave, that’s what I’d tell a friend, but it’s not that simple. I don’t even have a car of my own, not a friend in the world to relate any of this to. I’ve been thinking it over/trying to sleep it off in my closet for a few hours. I know he’s going to come to bed and blame it all on me in the morning and the thought of it makes me want to just vanish but I don’t even have money to go stay in a hotel. I really don’t know what to do and I’m so scared. I keep replaying it over and over and still I can’t figure out how to get myself out.

No. 477659

I looked up a women’s shelter in my area, but I really can’t just leave. I have a cat that I’m afraid to abandon and know if I do leave, I won’t be able to come back. This house is mine, not his, and to leave would be more disruptive than what happened tonight. I could assume my cat, my belongings, would be destroyed out of vindication. He’s not a violent person, unless he’s been drinking, and this is the only time he’s ever turned that on to me. If I wait it out, maybe I can be strategic about this. But then again, thinking about it now, I keep going in circles. I just seriously don’t believe me leaving will help anyone. Not even myself.

No. 477661

When you say the house is yours, is it in your name?

No. 477662

I cant really explain, he knows I use this site and I don’t want to give away too much. But no, I’m not in a legal position to claim he’s trespassing or breaking and entering if I change the locks, it’s unfortunately more sentimental and flimsy when I say it’s “my” house. It’s stupid, but this house and my cat are all I have.

No. 477663

Even if it's just to spite him, don't kill yourself and get out somehow. If the house is yours in the books then there is a way. Don't forgive, that fucker is going to do it over and over and over again. Do you have at least a co-worker you're semi-friendly with? You need somebody to back you up, you shouldn't be alone in his presence.

No. 477676

The country I'm in doesn't really do Halloween so seeing everyones posts and stories is upsetting. I also missed my nephews first birthday. I want to leave this country already but I need some documents I left somewhere else before I can book a flight. I feel so homesick. I miss my small city with my friends and family. I don't have much here. I just want to be home.

No. 477713

please don't do this anon! try and wait for a guy who will at least give a shit about you. that's not to say you can't use tinder, just look for a bf instead. one that will give a shit about u and not just into a fuck and dump situation. you're only 22, you're still so young! there's time to find a good guy

No. 477743

What would you consider being functional?

No. 477745

I am so frustrated with myself
I lost 4 kg or a little more, and nobody noticed
I am a petty little bitch but i wanted people to notice it shit

No. 477759

4kg out of how many?

No. 477762

a good chunk of that is probably just food weight because you've started to eat less. You need to lose more pure fat for people to notice

No. 477779

This is something really stupid to be mad about but no one invites me to parties. I constantly see acquaintances and friends going to parties but they never ask me to come and i never get invited by random people. It sucks being in college and not going to parties, like it’s supposed to be a part of the experience but i’ll never get to experience it and I also don’t wanna ask people to invite me cause that’s sad.

No. 477796

File: 1572201815468.jpg (78.43 KB, 800x1440, 70231704_10212280788853479_486…)

so sad im residing in a country where halloween isnt a big thing. spoopy time is my favorite and the spirit just isnt here in anyone except me

No. 477799

I Guess, I'll keep on watching my calories intake and try to exercise more then, thanks


Out of 68,Xkg, am currently 64,3 kg ( 5'8 height also )

Tbh i know i sound whiny, its probably because two close friends also lost weight and people noticed theirs i guess
Time to work harder i guess

No. 477808

>wanting this bad to get date raped by frat bros

No. 477809

all college parties aren't frat parties you dumbass.

No. 477811

Then it's just drinking until you pass out, what a great experience

No. 477812

lmao sorry you never went to college.

No. 477813

Not in US

No. 477820

That's just what normfags like, anon. Don't try to apply your preferences to them. It's like comparing cat behaviour to dog behaviour.

No. 477835

Different people enjoy different things no need to be this butthurt.

No. 477857

I feel you anon. No one noticed I was losing weight until I lost about 15kg. Congratulations and good luck!

No. 477889

I know you weren't asking for advice, but don't believe asking if you could come to a party is "sad." That's actually a fairly reasonable question if you're on good terms with an acquaintance, or if you wanna tag along with a friend.
Also if you make a good impression at said party, you will likely be invited to others in a snowball effect. You just gotta get your foot in the door and put yourself out there. Be positive and approach it with an open mind and the people will want you around~

No. 477905

I just signed up for a bunch of different lesbian dating sites and I'm already bummed out.
While trying to find other people on there to message I found out 90% of people on there are 40+ years old whereas I'm a 21 year old inexperienced girl just wanting to find a girl on there who's at about the same age and experience level as me. The longer I look the more I realise how hard it is to find a similarly minded girl the same age. It's really discouraging.

No. 477927

my experience it’s been full of trans ‘women’ no thank you. but i met my current girlfriend off her and our relationship has been going strong for five months so i hope that can give you a little hope

No. 477930

im embarassed for anyone to see my cat. i always feel they are thinking "why hasnt he been put down yet." petting him makes me so so sad. he is literally skin and bones. the vet still thinks he can get better if the medications start working since his behavior and appetite are still that of a normal cat and his labwork is good. he gets 3x the amount of food of a normal cat but his conditions keep him from gaining any weight. i just want to see it go up by even a pound soon. im so frustrated and sad it has gone on for so long with no improvement.

No. 477942

does your cat have hyperthyroid also? mine does too and she's tiny, she's also 15 years old now. i just want her to get fat and rolly and happy. i hope your cat gets fat and happy.

No. 477947

Don't be mad
Before I dropped out I was definitely feeling a lot of FOMO
I reconciled it by telling myself that I absolutely would hate it (and to be fair, I was mostly right) but it's just such a huge part of the experience and it feels awful to not be a part of it

I hope you just go for it, I hope you reach out to your friends and say "I really want to go to a party", I hope you show up uninvited (but I assume those parties won't be much fun unless you know people), and I hope you feel content with the amount you party

No. 477974

>work at halloween store
>rampant shoplifting problem (pretty much my whole job is to walk around and try to deter people from shoplifting)
>customers not supposed to try on costumes in isle, because something people do a lot is take the costume out, slip things in the bag the costume comes in then buy it and not have to pay for things
>if they want to try on costumes they can use the fitting room (employees keep track of what they take in there to prevent shoplifting)
>see a dad having his 9~ y/o daughter trying on costume out in open
>"excuse me sir, if you're going to try things on please use the fitting room"
>dad looks me in the eye and says "ok"
>dad continues to have his daughter try on costume in isle
>dad walks off somewhere else while daughter still putting on costume
>I just kind of awkwardly watched her to make sure she put the costume back in the bag and doesn't wear it out the store
>daughter looks super awkward, keeps looking at me nervously probably thinking she might get in trouble
>she takes off costume puts it back in the bag
>I'm just like well ok then

and the irony is it was a cop costume

No. 477982

i wish it was hyperthyroid tbh. he has had not well controlled dia etes for a few years and in the last half year dropped pretty much half his body weight which now the vet thinks is due to IBD or GI lymphoma. those are both treatable with the same chemo medication which he is on now, but he cannot be put under for any biopsy to find the exact cause since he literally has no fat left. his glucose numbers were on track to being more regulated but now they are all crazy again due to new food and the meds.
if he doesnt start gaining weight soon it may just be a worse cancer that cant be treated with medication.

No. 478030

File: 1572250138601.jpeg (137.59 KB, 528x818, 9F1EA45B-8B83-4A39-B2B1-4C9E41…)

I cycle between hating my boyfriend and wishing I was dead to feeling nothing at all and hoping that everything will work out so long as I shut the fuck up permanently. I stabbed myself in the wrist the other day and barely felt anything until the pressure built from my veins(?) bleeding profusely under the skin. Now it feels/looks like I broke my wrist as it's dark black from the bottom of the palm of my hand to nearly the crook of my elbow. I just think that if the guarantee of a successful death was the result of suicide, I would lack any fear or worry. I guess besides feeling dumb and numb I also experience anxiety surrounding my mother's birthday this year. I was hoping that her cosmetic surgery mishap would have resulted in her never making it home from the hospital, but I was disappointed. It's like, I really should die. I'm a cloud of misery and people can smell it like rot on me.

No. 478038

I don't know why I bother with dating sites. Maybe for temporarily boosting my ego but oh boy, the number of men that lie and cheat is so high!
Let me start of with men that lower their age so that they could get pass the filter. You can clearly tell it's a 40+ gramps thinking he passes for a 20 something guy. LOL
Or men that conveniently hide their bald spots with caps, or just cropping the top of the picture.
Also, whats with guys posting photos of their dogs? They're cute but I'm not going to date your dog. Unless it's a pitbull owner, then it goes straight into the trash.
Or the type that posts a picture where he was in a way better shape. Pure catfishing.
That's just the tip of the iceberg. Stalkers, crazies, psychos, fucboys.

I should really do like that anon and just use them for free dinner. I can't believe wasted my time by looking at those profiles. I'm not sure the occasional normal guy is worth it and he is probably chatting with 10+ women at the same time.

No. 478044

People with personality disorders are the only ones who hate people with a personality disorder.

C-PTSD is just BPD when psychologists decided to feel remorse about classifying them as good girls went bad types.

Life can only be good if you just drop the labels (literally) and move on.

Zen and vent.

No. 478046

This resonated deep within me. I’ve recently moved to Australia from US, and the spirit isn’t alive here. Really makes me sad.

No. 478056

>C-PTSD is just BPD when psychologists decided to feel remorse about classifying them as good girls went bad types.

Literally what, those are two completely different things.

No. 478064

>be all over a guy
>he barely replies, is weird and cryptic
>lose interest a bit so talk to him less
>he starts messaging more regularly
What is this? I don't even think it's a man thing since I've known men who just match my interest and it's all healthy and fine. But idgi. He even made the first move so it's not like I was initially chasing him.
Some people…

No. 478083

Reason why you think this, please.

No. 478087

File: 1572263771872.jpg (17.42 KB, 349x349, 000.jpg)

I hate my body so much. My entire fucking bone structure is wrong. I was fucked from the start.
On one side, my backbone looks normal, and on the other, I look like one of those plus-sized women who corset train to have smaller waists without losing weight. I'm like a broad-backed fucking elephant. I feel like a monster. No wonder it always hurts when I try to sit up straight.
I know I'm not just seeing things, because even my mom noticed and freaked out, telling me I must have "done something" to myself. What could I have done to alter my fucking bone structure?? I don't even play sports, for fuck's sake.

I Googled, and I might have mild scoliosis. If it's true, since I'm from a third-world shithole with no decent medical care, I'm basically fucked. I can't fix this.
My best bet is probably to lose a lot of weight and get down to around 39kg (I'm currently 51kg). I'll be skelly, but maybe then my back won't stick out so dramatically and I'll look like a normal human being.

No. 478092

It won't stick out less when you're skelly. Save up money and see a doctor, you walnut.

Speaking of which, starting a new job today and I'm kinda nervous. I don't really like the commute.

No. 478093

If you are OP: since you came with the retarded statement that borderline personality disorder is exactly the same thing as PTSD due to longterm trauma except without the stigma…. I believe you should be justifying why the fuck you believe this.

No. 478097

File: 1572266003374.png (4.45 KB, 240x240, main.png)


Anon that posted before about Halloween. Are we all in Australia? I found it so odd. You would think a country like Australia would be all for it. I miss the spooky vibes.

No. 478100


You can try looking for exercises that help you alleviate your back issues and muscle imbalances

I discovered I had flat feet a few years ago. Instead of paying a doctor $500 for insoles that weren't covered under my insurance, I learned about how to fix it with lower leg and feet exercises. I noticed benefits from the first week. Now I run once a week with "barefoot" shoes too so I don't even need to do the exercises anymore

No. 478103

File: 1572267312441.gif (968.94 KB, 500x374, tamakieatingramen.gif)

I posted a while back about how I wanted to message a friend from high school on FB but it would be weird because I have a burner account with a fake name. After all that, I finally decided to make a proper FB account just to message her and get in contact but turns out she deleted her account in that period of time.

I miss her so much I really want to get in contact with her again but no one seems to have her contact info. Where did this bitch go why are nerd women like this? I just want to have drinks and talk about what shitty anime we're watching like old days.

No. 478104

I completely tanked my interview this afternoon! I took a fucking nose dive I can't believe how bad it was. I was SO excited for this job I knew I was getting ahead of myself but I've been fantasizing about the moment that I got it all week I can't believe it… I don't even know what happened I swear I was prepared I have a whole word document of answers I planned out. I'm really really low right now, I completely gorged myself at all you can eat pizza alone and now I'm just drinking at home. Listening to Jesus Is King and trying to feel like it's for the best, this job was like my fucking DREAM.

No. 478106

I feel like a total nut job. Ended up going for 15 hours at the emergency rooms in an isolation cell this weekend because I half assedly tried to kill myself.
Now I'm back on the job and trying to make believe I have any idea what I am doing while on benzo withdrawals. I lied to my boss's face on how everything was going. I feel on the razors edge : either I lie my face off, keep my pretty nice job and blow up my last chance at a degree or I get myself to the hospital again. Except I cornered myself there too by lying about how everything was OK now and I passing some time in isolation did me good.
I'm fucking insane. I wish I wasn't so good at hiding it that the only help I get is when I fucking rope myself in the next room.
Sorry for the rambling, anon.

No. 478112

dude, I'm so tired of my friends, literally all they talk about is their dogs. I thought I loved dogs, but not enough apparently.

Its hours and hours of dog talk, how their dogs look, play, eat, groom, get photographed, sleep, etc.

I had to listen to three separate long conversations about the texture of their paws.

Did my friends lose their personalities when they adopted their stupid dogs?

No. 478119

99% of bpds have severe traumas, 99% of psychologists admit that they don't like to diagnose people with traumas as bpd because of the stigma, 99% of people with bpd deny having bpd, 99% of BPDs think they have c-ptsd and 99% of the bpd symptoms overlap with 99% of the symptoms of c-ptsd.

Now PTSD looks like a whole different thing than C-PTSD despite the name, but thas why I believe C-PTSD should fugg off from the DSM-5. I'm waiting for my request btw.

No. 478123

File: 1572273481193.jpg (46.55 KB, 499x438, fullscreen-capture-7092016-121…)

Source for those stats pulled from your ass?
Among others, people with C-PTSD suffer from flashbacks and obsession over the perpetrator and do not have the 'I hate you don't leave me or I will KMS uwu' mindset. This is of top of my head as I am at work ATM.
Would love to quote DSM as IMHO C-PTSD is much more like PTSD (as it should be) and not BPD.

There are some similarities, but you can have one or the other or both. They are not the same.
You might as well say that schizoids and autists are one and the same because some symptoms overlap according to your uneducated ass.

You have decided on a strange hill to die on.

No. 478124

File: 1572273511709.jpg (230.49 KB, 800x600, 1400x1050-pale-turquoise-solid…)

No. 478125

File: 1572273605107.png (106.64 KB, 450x548, 2f3e7097ae174ae289a9e1f068f1ac…)

No. 478128

I am too at work, I'll reply later with all the sources and arguments, bookmark this thread.

No. 478134

I’m so scared I’m borderline my mom is, and bipolar. My dad is bipolar as well. I already know I’m fucked in the head I just am terrified to be diagnosed and realize the gravity of the situation.

No. 478172

97% of all stats are made up.

No. 478177

This way of thinking it’s pretty toxic tbh…not to be rude but people like you made me depressed when I was a teenager. I always felt in debt with my closest friends because they made me feel if I had other friends, they’d dump me because they thought I was replacing them.
My advice is that you try to think people will dump you anyways if you don’t change, not because they don’t like you but because it’s exhausting to give explanations every time someone decides to spend time with other people.

No. 478214

I have a lot of health issues right now, and going to the doctor is a constant source of anxiety for me. I have to take benzos before I go, but the second I’m in the exam room, my blood pressure shoots through the roof, my heart races, and my vitals come back looking all fucked up.

I have chronic vertigo and blood in my urine (not to mention mental health issues but that’s not what these appointments are for); all I can think is “please please just make it stop. I can’t stand these weekly visits, why can’t my body just work like it used to?”

I know this isn’t as serious as what some Anons go through, I just don’t have anyone else to talk to about it.

No. 478221

I wish I could go back in time and never "befriend" this one girl in my class. I can't stand her, everything she does annoys me, and now I'm stuck with her because all our classes are together and we have a common friend. fuck my life and my assholish nature, any other anons ever felt this way?

No. 478227

Lately, I’ve grown depressed and I haven’t felt this depressed in an extremely long time. I wonder if a lot of it is due to a change in my lifestyle as my job is extremely sedentary and I spend a huge chunk of my time commuting. I don’t exercise anymore and lately I’ve been eating poorly. Every weekday, I come home from work extremely late and end up feeling too tired on the weekends to do much other than catch up on sleep. I feel like I’m hitting an extreme low point and I don’t know if this depression is purely the result of this lifestyle change over the past three months or if all these thoughts are how I actually am. I feel like my family probably wants me to go on meds now as I haven’t had depression this severe in a long time.

No. 478229

i take fat bong rips before going to the doctor so you are at least 7 steps ahead

(my psych won't put me on benzos.. he basically told me weed was safer?? i got lorazepam once though after I was hospitalized and fuck it was nice to feel calm but also probably be able to operate a motor vehicle…im jealous)

No. 478232

>no exercise
>eating poorly

this absolutely has an effect on your depression, at least partially. try at least improving your diet and maybe some yoga or light exercise before you go to sleep? baby steps and see if it helps. good luck!

No. 478238

How is she annoying?

No. 478247

She's smug about correcting my mistakes/misunderstandings, constantly complaining about the stuff we're learning about, can't talk about anything but school which gets on your nerves since during breaks you'd like, you know, to take a break from it, won't interact with us while we're having a conversation so it just feels like we are beneath her, is stupidly passive (and not only) aggressive on social media while she trembles asking a cashier stuff. My petty side comes out then, and I start nitpicking her like lolcow taught me in my head kek: from her accent, to the retarded way she walks, to her face. But that's just me being mean at that point, I know it.

No. 478255

i'm an outsider and always be an outsider. i'll forever be an outsider. people say they like me and really like me, but then they'll never invite me anywhere. and when i get invited, i feel like i'm outside looking in, even though i'm there. i think i should start accepting i'll never be more than this. maybe it's not that bad. i was always alone anyway. my mind never stops analysing and worrying so i think i never look natural. maybe i look even fake. this is not the only thing i'm having problems with, i guess i got a fucked up mental illness like bipolar or borderline because i can never seem to feel happy or normal. i hope it doesn't take too long for the cigarettes i'm smoking to kill me because i'd hate to have hope of being normal and then get disappointed again. i feel like i'm not supposed to be here anymore.

No. 478268

I recently started working with a girl whose work I've really admired for a few years and I'm having confusing feelings about her. I consider myself pretty much straight, but was very confused about my sexuality throughout my childhood and teenage years. I've had really engulfing crushes on girls before, but have pretty much settled on men since I slept with a girl for the first time and it didn't solve any of my questioning in the way i thought it would (I just generally find sex to be kinda confusing and silly- I don't enjoy it that much physically but at least with men I think what I get from it is validation after being an ugly duckling growing up- but that issue is a whole nother kettle of fish).
I'm finding myself feeling pretty obsessive over this girl, though I'm not sure in what way. I don't necessarily feel sexually attracted to her, though that's never really been a component of crushes for me-I've never really felt a sexual attraction to any of my many crushes over the years, it's always been something that just makes sense to do because I like them and want to feel intimate with them? I've only enjoyed sex with one person ever and I wasn't initially sexually attracted to them.

We get along really well so far, and I think she's a really incredible person, I'm in awe of her but also want to be her. We're the same level at work so it's not a power dynamic thing. I kinda think we have been flirting but it's hard to tell what's just girls making friends and what's flirting. I've been wanting to make friends with her for a while, but I didn't even consider the idea of a crush until I found out she was gay, which makes me think I'm just an idiot straight girl larping bisexuality because I admire her so much, and I think that's a bad person to be. I just feel so interested in her and seeing what she's working on and chatting to her. I have an obsessive personality so maybe it's just that but I'm getting the usual symptoms of mentionitis and general obsessiveness that go along with a crush.

Tbh I don't know how to handle the situation whether it's a crush on a girl or a 'girl crush' so what does it matter but I'm feeling a lil confused and crazy, sorry for the extremely long post anons!

No. 478272

Im surprised your other friends dont also find her annoying. Maybe she has autism or something and doesnt know shes being rude? I highly doubt it but maybe.

No. 478275

I can’t stand my neighbors.
The mom seems to work (most of the time) and the dad is a stay at home. They have 3 young children from different parents, and they are the most insufferable people in the world.
My parents in law own the property I live on, along with theirs (but because they have a rental company managing, it’s a little more difficult to rid of them)
But the dad who is often seen in the front yard smoking weed has the little kids in the backyard just screaming and being terrors. They will be sobbing, screaming, throwing things, doing whatever, and nobody seems to give a shit. I can’t even have my windows open during the day because the children are fucking shrieking. My husband who is finishing his second degree takes online classes and often finds it hard to concentrate because the kids are always being such fucking brats. And I know that they are a product of their parents being pieces of shit, but why should we have to suffer? I so badly want to write them a strongly worded letter, or pursue something more but I genuinely fear retaliation.
I’m in such a miserable position. I fucking hate those parents, and I hate their fucking piss ass children.

No. 478278

File: 1572308018977.jpg (206.5 KB, 1300x1390, young-woman-lying-down-head-pr…)

>What could I have done to alter my fucking bone structure??
anon my back is kind of fucked up/uneven too and I'm pretty sure it's from NEETing around all day as a teen. Do you tend to lay down a lot against your upper back kinda like pic related? Also exercise and being aware of your posture CAN help it. I went through military training and hundreds of pushups + hours of standing around at parade rest for weeks did wonders for my back. Didn't even realize it till I came back home and my mom was like holy shit anon your shoulders look better!! obv you don't have to do anything crazy but do look into back and shoulder bodyweight exercises.

No. 478296

i’m afraid to be alone right now. not in the “forever alone” sort of way. just scared to be by myself right now

No. 478299

I can't believe how many people are irritated by my silence. How can the absence of words be so offensive to you? I have nothing to say. Leave me be.

No. 478305

Being offended at not constantly being engaged in conversation is some toddler-tier levels of immaturity, I'm sorry you have to put up with this person.

No. 478310

I am quite confused with a guy i am talking to
its been knew he likes me for some time ( he is best friends with my friend's bf and i am close to both ) and he did many many things that confirm it ( not gonna blab them here, but it is pretty cristal clear )

i decided to talk to him through a app for conversations, and he doesnt really seems that excited about it, i am the one inciting talking ( even though its been 2 days only,)
but still asks my friend if i am talking about him, and that he dreams about me
so like???
do i try to stop starting the talking and see if he tries it ?

No. 478314

narcs hate the silent treatment. keep silent, don't give into their traps to try to get a reaction out of you. they "care" way too much.

there's so many dog owners who need to find multiple hobbies, i swear. i don't care about your dumb ass laborador retriever that much. post about it on social media, fine, but please don't bring that into our convos unless i'm at your house and your dog is right in front of me. i have cats, but i never talk about them to others unless i'm asked something specific about them, or if someone wants to ask what i did during my free time and i don't want to give a full answer i'll just say "yeah, i stayed home and played with my cats." let's talk about video games…. or food… or home decoration! anything! besides your "doggo"!

No. 478344

My other friend is someone who'd get along with a wall so I'm not surprised tbh. I did think she could have the good old 'tism though seeing as she pretends to be non-binary at this age still.

No. 478362


do you like him back? he could just be anxious about messaging you first

personally i would just stop and see if he messages you first. what's the point of liking someone if he doesn't take any initiative to try

No. 478365

I just learned that the reason I talk crooked isn't because of genetics or whatever, but because of my rampant, unchecked TMJ since age 13. Now I feel dumb because this was (is?) a fixable problem but now I'm stuck looking like a retard whenever I talk. I was wondering why it was getting significantly worse as I aged. I saw a video of myself recently and I couldn't even watch because the way my mouth moves now looks so fucking bad. I wonder if it's fixable or if it's too late for me now. I don't have dental insurance so surgery isn't on the table.

No. 478369

What did you do to fix your flat feet anon, and what were the benefits? I think I have flat feet myself.

No. 478381

I signed out of discord and forgot the email I used to sign up with it because it was a throwaway or something useless. I used to talk to some girl on here for about a year. If you happen to read this, sorry I just kinda ghosted you without meaning to!

No. 478384

That's it, I'm ending it. You fucking asshole preaching feminism and equality to me while wanting to control every step I take. I now understand why you were so relaxed when I left my job and so tense when I found another one. I've been here already and I'm not going to pander to your insecurities anymore. Go fuck yourself and your fragile masculinity elsewhere. I'm leaving.

No. 478385

I looked up exercises online and on YouTube. After watching a bunch of videos I listed 5 of the most common exercises I saw and did them every other day. I was recommended to look for these exercises by current and former dancers.

BTW I went through months of procrastination and buying new shoes ans insoles that only temporarily and mildly alleviated my pain. If you think this is what you need, try it now. I spent way too much time in pain and I regret it.

No. 478387

>I now understand why you were so relaxed when I left my job and so tense when I found another one.

Damn. That's deep

No. 478390

Forgot benefits

>My arches don't hurt while walking in shoes anymore. I am still more careful about what I wear though

>my knees dont ache, stiffen and crack anymore. especially my right knee. I can sit for long periods of time again without feeling uncomfortable every ~15 minutes
>Im pretty sure I get less periodic foot cramps than I used to, which I used to get for much of my life

also if you get barefoot shoes and walk and run in them I believe you can skip the exercises entirely. there are cheap ones on Amazon if youre still on the fence. then work your way up.

No. 478397

Friend was hospitalized last night and all my friends are now mad at me because i didn’t answer their calls or texts last night because I was sleeping and are making it out to seem like I’m a bad friend when they don’t even try to talk to me outside of needing something and are more focused on blaming me than focusing on our actual hospitalized friend.

No. 478421

i have a shitty fucking fear of getting cancer, my bowels coming out, or getting murdered. now getting cancer feels real to me because ive had growing stomach pains since 14.

im also dizzy a lot, and feel the room spinning, and cant breathe at times. i think it might be a physical problem but when i calm myself down it goes away so i dont know anymore. my stomach often hurts but it didnt hurt when i was in a good mood for a while so it might be stress related. i hate this shit

No. 478422

Love my child, but wish I didn’t have them cause I don’t have a social life anymore. Why did my hobbies all have to be anime and games before a kid? Seriously fml

No. 478428

I hate all the negative stereotypes that come with being a slavic woman. No, I don't want your greencard/money, no I'm not a gold digger and no I don't want to move to your country.
I just want to get to my destination without you pestering me. I just want to mention which country I'm from without getting a live-in sex maid arrangements proposed to me. I can easily lie online but I hate these foreign tourists with passion. If I had a flamethrower I would use it. Disgusting scum.

No. 478439

Not sure if I'm just gaining weight and it's making my stomach pudgy (weight tends to go to my thighs and stomach first), or if my jeans just keep shrinking in the wash. Never had and ED but I would body check like crazy all the time and I finally got out of the habit and felt comfortable in my body but now I'm just… I hate it. It doesn't even look that bad but I hate it and I wish I could just get a tummy tuck or some stupid shit. I should just size my jeans up but my body is such a stupid shape that even if the waist fits, it'll be too loose all around the rest of my legs.

No. 478445

If you're not sure if you've gained weight or not, why don't you try a scale? Also if your pants don't fit you could consider getting them tailored.

No. 478447

Could be gas. I recall reading once that something like 60% of emerge visits regarding abdominal pain are just a stubborn fart.

But you should see your doctor to at least calm your nerves. I know hypochondria is a hell.

No. 478459

I took the morning after pill about two weeks ago (approximately 30 hours after the condom broke - I couldn't make it to the pharmacy earlier…) and yesterday evening I got something that resembles a period. It is a week earlier than it should actually start and I'm nervous. What if this is not really a period but some random pregnancy bleeding? I can't even do a pregnancy test yet and I'm so nervous aafdgjvdflsg. I really don't want to go through an abortion but I can't keep a child either, I don't have the time and money especially not now. Ugh after I'm done with this shit I finally go on the pill or anything, regardless of the "hormones" or whatever god I was retarded. I don't want to be this scared again.

No. 478483


>approximately 30 hours after the condom broke - I couldn't make it to the pharmacy earlier…

lmao you're fucked. Can I be the god mom? :)

No. 478489


Well, the pill here claims to work for up to 72 hours after (pharmacist confirmed it). But if I happen to be pargnet then sure, you're the god mom. You know, for the few minutes it takes me to book an appointment for fetus deletus.

No. 478504

My best friend is so negative about so many things I like and it feels awful. I care about her a lot of course, but she turns so many positive things back on me as negative, especially if I'm really excited.

I feel terrible because I know she's dealing with depression and anxiety, but is constantly going off her medication without medical advice. I never give up on inviting her to things or checking in with her when I can, but I don't know what to do about this. Any time we have a conversation, she can talk for hours uninterrupted about what she's been doing or dealing with or what's going on, even topics I feel uncomfortable with but listen to because I know she's enthusiastic, but as soon as I talk about something excitedly she's either uninterested or just throws it back at me.

I feel like a lot of our interactions lately when I'm talking have been like this:

Me: Hey x brand is releasing this thing we both wanted!
BFF: Oh, well I don't care about that anymore, good luck.

Me: Hey I met this person who looks intimidating online, they're actually really nice!
BFF: ugh EW x person I don't like is friends with them!

Me: I got a cute dress from x brand!
BFF: I associate this brand with someone I hate, so I hate this brand now too.

Me: Aw I didn't get tickets to this concert, oh well.
BFF: They're shit anyway, why would you want to see them?

I'm trying so hard to be patient with her because I know she's going through some tough mental health stuff, but I feel worn down. It's not like she's trying to get rid of me, she's the one still suggesting we meet up for lunch or hang out.

I feel like shit and my own anxiety is eating at me because of it. Am I going to inadvertently piss her off by wearing something that makes her upset? By hanging out with the wrong person? By talking about the wrong thing? Am I the asshole? I don't want to make her sad.

No. 478518

>fetus deletus

I'm going to hell for laughing at this

No. 478524

File: 1572372534149.jpg (91.32 KB, 745x771, 8z7iccx1h0301.jpg)

No. 478542

Plan B hormones can make your period come too sooner or later than usual, depending where you are in your cycle. I took one a few years ago and got a period shortly after, even though it was too soon for one. Did not get pregnant. You're probably fine anon.

No. 478544

Why not socialise with other mums? Join a FB group or something.

No. 478553

Does anyone have this period of time when you're mentally and physically exhausted so much to the point that they cant get out of bed and function normally? I did, it was a dark time for me this month…took me 2-3 weeks just to get myself up and running again, i cant even remember how many lectures i skipped and could've spent time on some of my drawings. I dont want this to happen ever again, im so sacred, i dont want to spiral into this dark hole anymore…Thank god im feeling better now, cant help but feel like i need to learn on how to get myself up more quickly though, save me some time too…

No. 478562

Sounds like depression or another mood disorder

No. 478564

Could it be low vitamin D, iron and/or magnesium ? It's common in fall.

No. 478567

Fuck. I just took a dump and I felt a bump inside and a slight sharp pain hit me. I'm sure it's hemorrhoids.. again. Coincidentally, my mom has hemorrhoids right now too. Thankfully I'm not bleeding this time but i had a really bad bout with hemorrhoids when I was 19 that made me bleed out too much for comfort. I do this thing where I move the poo with my sphincter (tmi sorry) so it can avoid hitting the bump and potentially bursting it. Anyways.. my life sucks.. tired of being stressed and depressed and my body kicking me in my ass by giving me stomach pain and hemorrhoids. I must really get more angry and stressed than the average young person for me to have health complications easily.

No. 478568

I hate when people think that im in a secret long term relationship. I don't know what about me gives off that vibe but it frustrates me because I'm a lonely 22 year old virgin so anyone i do find romantically interesting writes me off because they think im married or in a relationship. I even lost friendships because the people I hangout with think I'm living a secret double life. Just because i don't talk about every tiny detail of my life doesn't mean that I'm some secret married mother of 2.

No. 478586

I'm 25, and I feel like I should be done with the partying phase in my life. Everyone who has wanted to party is like "Oh yeah, I had a crazy time my first two years of college, and now I'm over that." But due to things like poor health and procrastination, I never felt like I had a crazy party phase. I look at my partying history, and I'm like "That's it?" I've even done drugs, but never really in a way that was super exciting and crazy.

I know that some people don't have crazy party stories, but that's because they don't enjoy partying at all. I feel like my partying has been so much more boring than everyone else's. As a result, I don't want to stop partying yet despite my age. I feel like it's barely begun.

No. 478593

Some fuckstick rear ended me on my way to work and then fucking drove off!! What the shit kind of person does that?? Car is fine but my back was fucked up enough that i missed half a day of work and spent most of my day off just laying around. I hope the chode who hit me gets crabs.

No. 478612

i just witnessed my mom finding out about his affair right in front of him

it was something so private that i wished i wasn't in the room so i left

half a year ago i had the worst heartbreak over some jerk that cheated on me and now this happens.. i've lost all hope for love and marriage

worst of all i that i can still hear them and she sounds so heartbroken and defeated and she doesn't deserve any of this

No. 478617

I’ve been through something similar. I witnessed the moment my mom found out who my dad was cheating on her with. I was also cheated on multiple times when I was in a relationship. Both these things have made me incredibly bitter about men and relationships too.

No. 478618

I'm so lonely. I don't have a lot of friends and struggle to make new ones, and I've never been on a date despite being in my mid 20s. I don't talk to either of my parents for various reasons and don't have other family. I try to focus on other things like hobbies and work but lately it's been crushing and I feel like a huge loser about it. It sounds dumb to even type this out but it's gotten to a point where I'm feeling suicidal because I feel like I'm just too inept to ever have a fulfilling life with people who care about me.

No. 478620

I can't stop being pissed at my sister because she said her life was harder than mine.

For this online course about confidence and finding your passion, I was supposed to ask people who knew me as a kid to tell me what I was like as a kid–She said I was spoiled.

Fine. I'm taken aback because I remember our parents handling me so much more roughly, but if that's how she sees me then I can understand that and I'm sure I can try to use that.

But after a bit of back and forth, we're talking about her (big surprise) and I'm willing to listen because it's important to hear her out for reasons other than this course I'm taking. But listening to her complaints, it's small potatoes.

Stuff like "I always had to hang out with your friends because dad was always working and mom had to watch all of you and I didn't have any friends in the neighborhood" or "we all went to Arby's and I hated Arby's and I didn't get to go to the fast food place I wanted". I didn't address it at the time, but how does that make me spoiled? Because I was given the gift of life around the same time as some other kids in the neighborhood? Because our mom had some coupons and didn't feel like taking us to multiple places? You think Arby's is anyone's favorite?

Other stuff like, not getting in trouble when I used her acne stuff, not getting in trouble when I didn't treat the makeup she left all over the bathroom with dignity, not getting in trouble when I went sledding and I wasn't supposed to. By the way, I did get in trouble and I told her what my parents did (ground me, hit me, take stuff away etc etc. The last example in particular baffled me because she wanted me to have gotten toys and stuff taken away from me, and I told her that in a sense they did*, and she just ignored that.

And all of this would be fine if she kept it at "spoiled"–but she went the extra step to say that my life was easier. Despite the fact that they bought her a car and she's literally never paid for her own insurance (even to this day, she's 27 and her friend's parent's pay her insurance which is fucking insane), despite the fact that all through out our life she was constantly given whatever she wanted (wanted to take an acting class, wanted to travel to experience the country of the language she was speaking, literally every week she would ask for money to buy shit).

She'll claim it was because she was expected to get a job, but she had a crappy little lifeguarding job that she only worked in summer and winter–that's not enough to pay for all of the clothes, gas, and food she was always buying. Meanwhile wore the same 6-8 ish shirts through out middle school and high school because they were effectively hand me downs. The only time I bought shoes was when my old ones were too small.

She'll also claim that there were all sort of expectations for her, but we basically had the same expectations–if I didn't get a job, it's not because my parents weren't telling me constantly to get a job. If I didn't get good grades, it's not because my parents were letting me get bad grades.

She'll also claim that I was smart enough to get away with whatever I wanted. If I was smart enough to get away with petty shit, why would I be the type of person to post to anonymous imageboards to complain about her instead of literally anything else.

She'll also claim that I was just given whatever I wanted. That didn't stop our parents from buying her a guitar that she literally never touched even though she wouldn't stop stealing mine. That didn't stop her from getting acupuncture for having sweaty palms even though I've had chronic diseases and a few things that needed surgery.

And the reason why I'm venting now? Because for the past year, ever since my mom kicked me out of the house (because I was too depressed to function properly), she's been asking me for money basically every other week.

I don't get it–you had to get a job early on, you had a bunch of people giving me whatever I wanted, and even though I'm spoiled and you had to learn what it's like to work, I'm the one who has to give you money because you insist on doing a job that pays shit in a city that is too expensive and traveling to other countries whenever you feel bad (that's right, she got fired from a job and wanted to go to lisbon). Even though she's the one who graduated from college, I have to give her money because I started working at a job I don't love but pays pretty well.

And the kicker is that I give it to her–my aunt gives her money, my mom gives her money (she's toxic but she's lonely), and my great aunt on the other side of the family gives her money. And while she does pay us back (sometimes) it's always something else.

My apartment doesn't technically have heat or a working stove, the bathtub doesn't drain properly, and I'm severely depressed (working on it)–but I guess getting spoiled just did wonders for me to the point where I'm a huge fucking friendless loser who has never gotten laid.

I love her and I don't want anything bad to happen to her, which is why I give her money, but it's frustrating to have to hear that through out all of the suicide attempts, loneliness, and depression in my life (less so in childhood, but still), she thinks that growing up was harder for her.

*Basically, I hated playing by myself so I always left my toys at my neighbor's house so I wouldn't have to lug them back and forth. My parents told me I couldn't go to my neighbor's house for a while. In that sense, my toys were taken away because I no longer had access to them.

No. 478621

Anon, are you me?

We're gonna make it though. At the very least, I'm rooting for you.

No. 478624

have you had to interact with a guy who just doesn't like you for some reason and he makes little snarky remarks after everything you say? or otherwise diminishes your intelligence? my professor does that. only to me (in this class). it's like negging

No. 478641

kek I'm only 22 and i feel the same way anon. We should just party together.

No. 478647

damn I'm 25 and wish I could've found the type of friends who liked to party or even just be incredibly silly around each other without having to feel bad the day after for having a hangover or doing something dumb that isn't a crime lol. I even tried seeking out people like this at bars but I just ended up being all alone and had no reason to be there anymore. I just wanna be with carefree degenerates who also take care of each other.

No. 478654

I wish I could help a friend of mine get a girlfriend. He has autism and very anxious around people but he's one of the nicest people I've known.

No. 478658

Another aging degenerate here, I just want to enjoy my life but all my friends have aged out of it. It doesn't help that so many anons act like anyone that doesn't turn into a nun after 30 is automatically a lolcow.
>I just wanna be with carefree degenerates who also take care of each other.
The feels are real. I follow a girl on instagram that is always partying with the same close friends but also has a really stable respectable job, I want that.

No. 478660

File: 1572408735181.jpg (7.76 KB, 225x225, f03.jpg)

i am so sad. i spent a long time making a scary costume with a demon skull mask to wear to my office party tomorrow and i am very certain i have the flu now since it came on right after work and keeps getting worse. ill be sick through halloween also. fuck this

No. 478661

I'm gonna an hero in a few months. Not an attention thing, not impulsive, long time in the planning and got it all worked out to be all neat and tidy and responsible.
I just want to say that out loud somewhere without getting the usual influx of bullshit I don't want to hear.
Yeah I got muh depreshun but also a ridiculous amount of other mental and physical conditions I could never fully recover from. (No PD's though.) Been getting "help" for a long time but it hasn't helped. Got a full on sob story of CSA, 7 year court process, family turning against me, everyone systematically walking out of my life one way or another, several abusive relationships and so on and so on.
Now I've ended up a somewhat alcoholic recluse with no real friends or family, in my late 20s and leeching off of society because I'm way too fucked up to work, but still somewhat able to take care of myself.
Every day is a massive battle to get through and manage even the basic things, it's absolutely ridiculous and pathetic.

Whatever talent, brains and looks I was granted has been such a waste. I wish I could give those away to someone who actually cares about the illusion that our existence has any purpose. It doesn't. So I'm out.

No. 478662

im in no way a lesbian, but i cant help but think about stupid lesbians that were brainwashed by tunglr to accept transbian in their lives.

I can just imagine them growing out of the phase and actually filled with regrets and actually end up killing themselves

The reason why I hate the term Gold Star lesbian..

No. 478667


That sucks. I have had a similar childhood, too. Did you get any therapy at all? I strive to be the best version of myself to pretend what happened doesn't hurt me, to spite those who hurt me. Fake it til you make it really does work you know. I really hope you try sticking it to all those bastards and becoming a sick person (obviously start off small)… I bet you're stronger than you think anon.

Ahh sorry, this isn't what you wanna hear. I just don't think you should waste your one chance at life just because of some assholes who never deserved to be a part of yours.

No. 478669

I don't think you should commit suicide, it always pains me that the good ones always have to die too early. You SHOULD leach the system and be proud of it, not joking here btw. You "deserve" every penny, enjoy life the way you want. Also, trust me when I say you can become who you want to be. I also didn't have anything on therapy, I did improve a shit ton a lot though. And I also was everything you mentioned, and I also have 0 friends and family. I hate humblebragging but I felt it was important to mention since I agree with you about the therapy thing. I won't impose my philosophy on you, but you should decide what you want to live for, and it doesn't have to be family. Or friends.

No. 478679

I mentioned to one of my friends the other day about when one of our other friends constantly invalidates my sexuality and it makes me feel really shitty. Haven’t been able to get that one off my chest in a minute.

just because I have dated mostly men over the past few years (I’ve only been in 1 serious relationship and I’m almost 30) but I’ve dated several women, I just never get serious with any of them because they’re usually bi too and end up with dudes…. but I still don’t think that’s any reason to tell me “um no you’re definitely straight” Like you’re not me bitch. Tired of people trying to govern who I am and how I feel.

No. 478715

>Am I going to inadvertently piss her off by wearing something that makes her upset? By hanging out with the wrong person? By talking about the wrong thing? Am I the asshole? I don't want to make her sad.
Anon, been there, done that. From my experience I can totally assure you you’re not the asshole here. You’re only trying to make your friend feel loved and happy but let me ask you something: do you know she’s not doing the same for you, right? Just because she has depression, it doesn’t give her the right to treat you this way, specially when you’re only trying to be the best version of yourself for someone who can’t and won’t appreciate it.
You’re not the one depressed and she has to understand that. Your mood shouldn’t change for someone who doesn’t care when she talks to you like that. If she's depressed, that sucks but you can’t do more than you’re doing right now and she should appreciate it.

No. 478729

Anon, don't do it. I know you don't want to hear this but everyone I know who's survived a suicide attempt (or several) ended up being glad they stuck around. You have something to offer to yourself and the universe even if you don't see it right now.

No. 478730

You're not the asshole. I think you should try and talk to her about it, if she cares about you she won't want to purposefully cause you that much anxiety and stress. I had a friend who did a similar thing and it ended up breaking our friendship because I was constantly walking on eggshells while not being treated with the same care and couldn't take it anymore.

No. 478743

Barely coherent baby whinge incoming, roast me as you will. I'm turning 24 in ~4 days and I've come to realise I've never actually been glad I'm alive. I've had brief moments of happiness, but at literally no point in my life have I felt like all the other bullshit was worth it. I can't see any reason to stay alive, expect for obligations like paying rent and feeding my cats. I've tried to an hero multiple times through my teens and I've never looked back and been glad I survived. Not once. Fuck, if anything I think the happiest time in my life was when I was hospitalised for a week after my first attempt because I was so drugged up I didn't really feel like I existed. I dunno, man. I'm not actively suicidal, but if I had a gun I'd probably just blow my brains out. I'm so tired.

No. 478757


I agree with your leeching the system comment. It was meant for people like you. So why do you feel bad about it?

No. 478758

I also have social anxiety

No. 478774

I feel guilty because for some reason I think it's OP but if it's not then ignore. I'm sorry if it offended you, didn't mean to. I tried to make it light because welfare really isn't a big deal or something you should be ashamed of. When you need it you need it, but good people understandably are ashamed of it. Who says you are gonna be on it forever? The day you'll stand on your own feet is the day you can choose to stop having it.

Therapy didn't work for me, but it sucks I didn't try it more because if I did I could have been liable for it. Welfare legit is not a big deal, I was just too stupid to not tolerate my dumb therapist's magazine advice for my traumas.

No. 478775

>>478661 I doubt you will do it

No. 478790

still waiting for those receipts.
I've googled around and noticed that some people on the net hold the belief that bpd and c-ptsd are the same thing, but I respectfully disagree. I would like to understand anon's POV better tho.

No. 478804

I hate working with boomers. These fuckers make five times as much as I do, acting like they know everything and always complaining how "millennials are lazy!! your generation is going to ruin this country!!" yet always come running to my desk for the most simplistic shit. You're the one who's been working here for 25 years and making $30/hour, you seriously can't make an Excel spreadsheet??

No. 478806

Same but because they can't keep their biblical propaganda and stupid "Hitler did nothing wrong" politics to themselves. I don't understand why they think it's appropriate to have loud conversations about dumbass political shit in an office.

No. 478815

OP here, >>478757 wasn't me if that's what you meant. I'm thankful for the comments on welfare and that someone actually views it like that. Guess I just feel like the resources are wasted on me. (Bawww I know.)
Not tolerating a bullshit therapist isn't stupid. I did that for years out of politeness and having no backbone, and that's stupid. Had some okay ones over the years too but none have really helped.
Anyway,thank you anon.

Wanna do a Thelma & Louise?

No. 478820

no please don't apologise. I'm sorry you're going thru this anon.

No. 478878

I'm so fucking stupid.

For one class we had to hand in the assignment as a zip folder in a specific way.
The way we were supposed to was with folder structure "assignment01.zip>assignment01>assignment.cpp"
Instead I just did "assignment01.zip>assignment.cpp"

I'm so scared that this is gonna make us get 0 points on the assignment, I'm scared my assignment partners will get angry that I made such a stupid mistake. I'm so dumb.

No. 478880

File: 1572466361757.jpg (40.98 KB, 600x678, 65e.jpg)

I met this guy who's in the same program as me at uni and now he will not leave me the fuck alone and it's pissing me off so badly.
I only gave him my first name and somehow he found my personal private instagram despite not having any mutual friends or anything. He requested to follow and I rejected it because his profile was blank and I didn't recognize the name, he then sent me a super passive aggressive DM request that was like "Don't get me the wrong way, I only tried to add you because I add everybody in our program, we students need to stick together" and some bs like that despite him only following less than 100 people, and our program has like 600 students so… yeah I'm not fucking buying it.

Me and my friend always sit in a certain spot in our gigantic lecture halls and he figured that out I guess and has started to sit in the same area too. This morning I saw he was in our usual spots so I sat one row ahead and he got my attention and asked if I wanted to come sit next to him and I brushed him off and said no. And he keeps asking me if I want to go to the library after class and I always fucking say no (I don't even like studying in the library at all, I almost always do my work at home anyway, and it's not like I'd get any work done with some thirsty guy breathing down my neck).

Tonight he kept DMing on instagram again and tried to get me to go see a movie with him and I said no, I fucking hate movie theaters anyway, I would hardly want to go with my friends let alone some annoying ass dude I barely know who's clearly just after some pussy.

And he's so fucking passive aggressive and whiny. I hate when men do that manipulative thing where they push your boundaries while acting all smiley and friendly, because if you turn them down, YOU'RE the frigid cold bitch. How about you take a loss like a champ and stop trying to shoot your shot the first time you get rejected? Take a fucking hint, Jesus Christ. I want to be left the fuck alone.

It really pisses me off because I'm a really self-conscious person and now I spend every lecture constantly worrying about if he's watching me or whatever, and I try to pack my shit up and leave ASAP so he can't approach me. Why the fuck are men so persistent? I'm trying to get a fucking bachelor's degree, hop off my fucking dick. God.

No. 478890

File: 1572469429391.jpg (35.14 KB, 720x340, Knocked-Up-720x340.jpg)

I hate my PMS so much. I still have flashbacks from 5 years ago when my friend from NYC visited and my mom took us to visit a place out of town. I bought a bunch of junk food from a store on our way but didn't think that I did so because my period was coming. Then in the car I had a freaking meltdown because my mom was unemployed and said to my friend and her bf to not pay for the gas. Jesus Christ my hormones screw me up big up.

No. 478907

God posts like this make me glad I'm done with school. My boyfriend is in uni and he's literally observed dudes like yours in his classes. Creeping around, trying to get their contact info, and forcing themselves in the spaces of the girls they've targeted.

I don't really have great advice because these guys are too sense to reason with. Do you have a bf? Time to mention him a lot or make one up.

I've learned to slip in the mention of a boyfriend as soon as possible. Even just casually, like "oh my bf and I love that show".

This has protected me so effectively since then. Sad that it's one of the better ways to get a guy to fuck off.

No. 478908

File: 1572473134185.jpg (34.28 KB, 600x338, ohgod.jpg)

I just got a zero on a heavily weighted assignment in my English class. It was a check for a rough draft. After seeing that my grade had dropped from a 90 to 37 I my heart feels like its going to jump out of my chest and I want to kill myself.

No. 478911

Damn, how? Did you miss the guidelines completely? A 0 seems harsh.

No. 478912

File: 1572473591623.png (147.63 KB, 300x300, 054.png)

i enjoy compsci but i often feel too dumb for this major; and whenever i program i always think "well who knows if i'm going to be some great mind in industry / what if i get stuck code monkeying because i'm always going to be shit and never go anywhere should i really do THIS etc etc" then i realize that there are people out there doing so much worse (e.g. it's no surprise that the us government is full of idiots, there're rich kids out there that are going to work for their rich parents after graduation, someone's smoking crack rn, etc), why shouldn't i allow myself to do this major even if i'm not explicit good at it?

does this make sense? i dunno

No. 478914

yeah, we didn't have a check up for any other paper, I didn't have anything worth reading ready so I didn't bring anything.

No. 478920


If you had a 90 before, you're probably a good student. Talk to your professor about it, they might let you redo it for like half of the grade or something. If you were failing before, it would be a different story.
Worst comes to worst, you tried and most likely a teacher will respect you caring about your grade enough to talk about it, especially if you let them know how awful you feel over it. They're people too and have made mistakes just like anyone else.

Good luck anon!

No. 478921

That is unfortunate. I agree with the other anon that you should talk to your prof! Although if it was on the course outline or something they may be less understanding. It probably depends most on their nature.
Good luck!

No. 478922

It does. I feel the same way in different aspects of life, a lot. Being doubtful and worried about your future and how everything is going to work out and if you'll get where you want to be is normal and I think your approach of just continuing to do what you enjoy is probably the best. Being the best at what you do is obviously the ideal but I don't think it's super important.

No. 478928

I recently relocated to a small townhouse complex with 5 houses, 3 of them occupied and 2 of them with young kids. I figured maybe they'd feel safer knowing who their new neighbor was so I bundled up some cooking herbs from my garden in a nice ribbon and went door to door on a weekend morning just to say hi. Only the one older couple answered, the 2 families didn't. I didn't want to harass them so I just left a note introducing myself. That was 2 weeks ago and they still barely even look at me when I wave at them when they walk by with their strollers and I'm outside in my garden or whatever. I guess I just figured people with kids would be more sociable but I guess not. The last place I lived the neighbors were super friendly and we all looked out for each other so it's kind of a bummer, but I can understand not wanting nosy neighbors.

No. 478947

File: 1572480277554.jpg (96 KB, 1080x1079, IMG_20181203_172657.jpg)

I can't even think about my best friend without getting a life crisis.

We're the same age, but I'm a kissless virgin college student and she's an employed married woman.
This sometimes really drives us apart. I coudn't attend her bachelorette party or stay all night at her wedding because it was all in exam season, and because of her work schedule and wanting to spend time with her husband she's never available to see me.

No. 478956

File: 1572482916925.gif (998.62 KB, 480x270, ITS RAWH.gif)

My stepdad is being a retarded boomer. He thinks because he's leaving the thermostat at 78 degrees constantly that it's saving money as opposed to keeping the thermostat at a more reasonable 73 degrees.
He doesn't fucking understand that the apartment IS NOT naturally 78 degrees, and therefore the thermostat is working to keep the joint at 78 even if he doesn't hear air kick on.

He hollered at me for turning the temp down earlier because I came home from work and it was fucking hot. We're in the south and the temperature OUTSIDE was cooler than within! It should not be two steps from 80 fucking degrees. It's ridiculous.

So I finally showed him the trick, to saving the precious bill money.
Turn the fucking thermostat off.
Oh and whaddya know? It's already dropped to 76 degrees because this apartment has no business being a fucking oven.

No. 478960

I said two stupid things in class today (guy asked if the professor was following a diagram, I said he was winging it but was corrected by another student, additionally I thought we had to use 3.3 V port for electricity but it was 5V) and set up the experiment I was doing wrong by failing to follow the diagram, I feel so fucking stupid BUT I'm glad I gave myself the chance to be stupid. I actually got help for the issue I struggled with, I went through a lot of college to afraid to speak or even ask for help.

Also I feel bad for coming across as an asshole when people make jokes around me. I don't know how to fake enthusiasm since I don't want to come across as "too much" so I grimace at the jokes the guy next to me makes.
I can't help but look over what happened today in class and cringe so fucking hard, why does my entire existence bring me so much shame and embarrassment. I had panic attack just walking to class today, it was so random. I need to get something for my anxiety before it drives me to utter despair over a small hiccup, it drives me mad how if I do the slightest thing wrong a voice in my head just constantly yells, "Stupid bitch, you aren't smart and everyone wants you to shut up". I usually don't talk or even associate with people because after every interaction I overanalyze what occurred and feel like shit, it's so much easier avoiding all human interaction.

No. 478961

What is it with old dudes and thermostats? My dad used to beat my ass as a kid if I touched it, even though I would only do it when it got above 80 inside and couldn't sleep. I get wanting to conserve energy and save money but not at the expense of my sleep. It's not like we couldn't afford turning it down to 75 at night either.

No. 478968


Not to be cringe, but that Thelma and Louise offer is one of the sweetest things anyone has said to me. Thanks, anon.

That said, despite all the shit you're dealing with you come across like a pretty cool person, so you probably shouldn't off yourself, you don't sound like a lost cause or whatever. Or at least go out with someone equally cool. You only get to die once, yknow?

No. 478984

Jesus Christ I thought it was just my dad who was this crazy with the thermostat. He HATED it when the house was 69° it HAD to be at 70°. 68 was too cold, unacceptable. Only 70° or 71° or 72° if it was too cold.
Honestly, my spouse is kinda the same way. The temp has to be at 76° for him to be satisfied the air is actually gonna turn on, then an hour later it gets too hot and becomes hard to breathe and he'll turn it down to 70°. I told him, "Just turn it down to 74° you don't gotta do it so dramatically."

No. 478985

FOR YEARS, I've assumed I was a warm autumn. I love burgundy on me. Was discussing color seasons with my boyfriend, who is new to fashion, and he said that it washed me out too much. Went through a color season quiz with him and it turns out I'm a warm spring?!? My whole wardrobe is a lie.

No. 478987

lmao god, my toxic ex friend's ankle-biting lapdog bff moved to my city recently and I can't help but wonder what they're winding up for. Feels like a whole new chapter of "notice me senpai" antics and flying monkey fuckery. Why must it be like this?

No. 478990

I'm so tired of everything. I'm tired of being and feeling like a failure all the time. I'm really tired of my mom and I feel the urge to move out of her house but I can't seem to get a job even though I'm a few exams away from finishing college.
I'm tired of being so insecure about everything I do. I'm tired of liking a guy who doesn't see me as anything else but a hook up.
Idk, I feel like exploding lately. Being so tired about my present makes me hopeless about the future.

No. 478998

Sometimes I get mad when my brothers or other relatives act like my mother was this wonderful mother and person when she was alive. Maybe she was great to you because you're her son, but all I remember is her treating me like shit. Shamed me for wanting to wear shorts in the summer, talked badly about me when I had my eating problem, treated me like I was crazy, always trying to control me and put me and my hopes down everytime I wanted to do something. I remember being 16 telling her I wanted to go to college and she told me I'd get raped. It's been years since she died but when I remember something she did to me I still get pissed off and of course I can't tell anyone because my family thinks she was so great.

No. 479000

I’m 20 years old going to get a copper IUD on Friday. By myself. Nobody knows, I can’t tell my parents because of their views on premarital sex but since I started having sex for the first time with my boyfriend I decided it would be smart and mature to do. I’m so nervous for the procedure, I will be all by myself and nobody to hold my hand. I’m really scared for the pain, I’ve also never been to a gyno so this is the first time I’ll be looked at down there medically… Wish me luck anons.

No. 479002

>>478998 I feel you anon my mom is alive but I don't live with her anymore and she stole money from me when I moved out, got food stamps in my name, stole things from my apartment and sold them for meth money etc. she also used to get mad when I wore shorts or tank tops or bathing suits growing up because of my weirdo stepdad and her not fully trusting him
People are always like "well why don't you visit her?" My sisters are always like "mom said why do you hate her?" Because she's crazy and not a good person, your mom sounds about the same as mine, she adores my brother but acts so nasty towards me and my sisters. I'm willing to bet she's jealous at how much better you've turned out than her, maybe you're more attractive or ambitious and instead of being proud of you like a normal mum, she felt threatened
Don't feel bad for not making her out to be Saint, just because she's dead. Mourning her is one thing but don't feel guilty about your poor relationship with her I hear too much about women who resent their daughters and it's sickening I hope you have another strong female in your life to look up to,

No. 479003

I got a copper IUD a few years back and its one of the best decisions I ever made. The first 6 months after getting it I had really wicked period cramps but other than that I had no bad effects. When you get it inserted it's intensely painful for like a split second but that's it, it's so so so worth it. Good luck anon I hope you have a good experience with the whole thing.

No. 479012

File: 1572501756534.jpg (10.03 KB, 262x275, 1537396204343.jpg)

i think I keep being shitty to my family and standoffish to my coworkers because i dont want them to be too sad when I kms.

No. 479022

NTA, but being the black sheep in the family sucks, my mom's the same way. My sister is the golden child, definitely has tons of attention and care aided from my mom and dad compared to me. My mom stole money from me for years. Just this year, she threatened to call police on me basically for finally moving out of town and me & my bf defending ourselves from her ridiculous antics and demands. I had to buy a new phone because it got so bad and I had 2 days to find a cheap and reliable car because the one I had was under my parent's name, even though it was a gift for me. She still tries to get a reaction out of me via voicemails and texts, don't know if she'll ever stop. I think what's worse is she took my old phone number, so who knows what she's said and done to all my contacts. I don't even care anymore lol.
We're way stronger than we think. We're wiser than most after dealing with the person who gave birth to us turning out to be a terrible person. Probably more mature for our age due to all this.
I found my boyfriend's mom as my strong female figure to look up to. She is so supportive for what I had to go through, she tells me I can come over by myself just to hang out with her and she'll make me food, she even helped me get my new phone. So there's proof there's good mother's out there it just sucks we ended up with ours. Honestly, I used to think a bad mother was just one that neglected you, but one that does everything they can to try to frame you and your spouse as evil to the rest of your family was the worst thing I have dealt with in a long time. She did all this all while sitting in her office at her job.

No. 479033

had to give in and go to the er for pain for my broken ass tooth and ive been on anti biotics and pain meds but i have been barfing non stop and cant eat or drink and my chest hurts and my arm goes all funny and i cant tell if its from acid reflux, anxiety or some heart thing. i just want to stop hurting omg. im taking 2 ibuprofen 800 a day which is a great change for my kidneys cus i was up to about 2g of naproxen which is an embarrassing amount. its not helping tho im gonna sudoku

No. 479039

My SO just told me he lost his virginity at age 12 to an older girl. she was 16, and he was 12, He said felt confused because he was supposed to be "proud of it," and because the relationship continued. I believe that this happened, He told me he had no idea what sex even was and felt ashamed later for becoming aroused.He revealed all this no strong emotion what so ever

No. 479040

My neighbors made a noise complaint about me apparently because of some loud exercising (jumping and shit). I fully admit to maybe overdoing it with my workouts and not realizing how loud I was being. However, I would've appreciated some adult face-to-face conversation so that maybe I'd been aware that it was a problem and could've stopped before a fucking complaint had been made to the housing organization.
But hey whatever, I guess it's more fun to live in constant fear that the next time I make a noise or have the tv on too loud I get fucking evicted because my neighbors don't have the balls to talk things out.

No. 479064

I feel like running away from home even though I’m an adult…
My mom recently got into a car accident.
Got injured too. The environment in my house is toxic because of my mom and sister. They argued the other day while my mom is still recovering. When she got home she lost her cool and took out her anger on to me and my pet rabbits. Threatened to get rid of my pets. She’s even the one that cause the car accident. And rn she’s stil pissed..

No. 479073

Just found out the guy I've been infatuated with is gay LOL. This is what I get for being a creep attracted to slim white boys with shoulder length hair. I always wondered why he had so many female friends and now everything makes sense!!
I'm not exactly upset, more just feeling stupid and bamboozled.

No. 479077

I’ve had a fever for five days, and no other symptoms but a fever, swollen glands, and my right ear hurting presumably from how swollen the right side of my neck is. I have no clue what it could be, I’m going to see a doctor on Monday and I’m terrified that it’s mono, cause I don’t have time to lay in bed for a few weeks!! I hate being sick , I kind of hope it is mono though so I won’t have to worry about ever getting it again, and I won’t get my boyfriend sick cause he had it in high school. I just hate being so miserable and not knowing what’s wrong with me!

No. 479078

my office is always fucking freezing and nobody knows what my costume is

No. 479079

No. 479084

File: 1572532173434.png (350.42 KB, 1041x937, f728a9f1-b88c-441e-a9c2-0d6d44…)

aww! what is your costume anon?

No. 479087

File: 1572532650788.png (59.86 KB, 299x168, untitled.png)


veronica sawyer! pic related, this scene

No. 479093

>"oh, I'll be satisfied when I'm a healthy weight"
>lose weight
>turns out I have a massive rib cage, long torso, and proportionally longer thighs than calves
I hate my skeleton now, but I don't want rib removal or anything.
Maybe no one even notices and it's just BDD, who knows. I hope that's the case.

No. 479095


Jk anon

No. 479108

I’m so fucking tired of straight women pretending to be bi because being gay is in now and they only want to solicit other girls for 3somes to keep their ugly neckbeard boyfriends interested in them.

No. 479115

I keep a thermos on my desk and it has a lid, but I keep the lip open because I drank out of it constantly. Today was the first day I knocked it over, adn thankfully not that much spilled out but of course what small amoutn DID landed my keyboard arrows. Now my left arrow doesn't fucking work at all and some other buttons are getting wonky and at least twice in the past hour the entire keyboard hasnt responded at all. Fuck, I hope this shit goes away because this is the work laptop they gave me and it isn't mine…

No. 479121

Long torsos are a normal aspect of the female body actually! Women have shorter legs than men. Besides your body must be so new to you now after changing that much, it’s okay to need time to adjust. I’m sure no one else notices these things about your body either since most people are too busy nitpicking themselves—unfortunately in that way the search for bodily perfection for ourselves can go on forever, some new concern to beat ourselves up over always rising to the top. But I hope keeping that in mind you can find solace in knowing you’re healthy now and that your body is definitely normal and nothing about you needs to be changed.

No. 479126

i feel like fucking shit

No. 479131

I feel like a piece of turd righ now

I am talking to the boy i like ( who aldo claims to like me back to his friends )

And i feel like i just ruined everything by being a hyper little shit, i should just shut my fucking mouth

Who would want a boring, ugly and plain bitch like me lmao
I shouldnt have the delusion come to my fucking head as if anyone would ever find me interesting

If he gives up on me and find another girl to flirt i wouldnt even blame him
Fuck this

No. 479132

Fucking this. I know the most annoying ass pick me girl who claims to be pansexual while blatantly being straighter than a line and it grates my fucking gears. I made the mistake of talking about it with one of my friends and I got chewed out for uwu invalidating her super special and real sexuality uwu.
I'm so sick of this woke bullshit, there ARE people who pretend to be not straight for pity points and asspats, and if you deny it, you're a retard. It may be a small minority and for the most part I don't go around scrutinizing people's sexualities but some people are so fucking obvious about how tryhard and fake they are, i.e shoe0nhead and other "cool girl" wannabes.

No. 479144

File: 1572548177097.jpeg (153.48 KB, 672x521, F044ED1A-3343-4A2A-9A2B-928597…)

So I came in to work today and found out he left a package with a note for me. It had a thing I let him borrow a gorillion years ago and in the note he said I was his best friend and he wanted to apologize for not keeping in touch at all.

But it was my fault we don’t talk anymore because I stopped communicating with all my friends. I’ve avoided talking to everyone I know for the last five years unless I couldn’t help running into them.

The note had his phone number so I’ll probably explain myself but idk if his girlfriend knows about this. Most of my guy friends were gay so I don’t know if I’m overstepping a boundary.

No. 479145

I've gained weight and am only a few kilo's away from overweight. I fucking hate myself, why can't I get disciplined? I really need to lose weight.

No. 479146


I love dorohedoro so much, always get a bit sad when seeing anything related to it, reminds me that the author was only like 20 yr old when she started publishing it and i am much older and can't come up with anything worthwhile.

No. 479147

holy shit stop posting about this shit. you're never going to be able to create anything if you focus on your retarded complex. literally no one cares.

No. 479149

File: 1572551996733.gif (1.68 MB, 478x204, giphy (1).gif)

After a month of getting hired for my new job my grandmother who I was close to was brutally killed. I took 2 weeks off work, I go back to work traumatized and I started making a lot of dumb ass mistakes and my employer starts running out of patience. I got written up and we had a serious talk and she asked me if I still wanted to work there. After that I tried my hardest to improve and and to be more positive. My boss even told me I've improved a lot and it's great, etc… Fast forward 2 months later–today I was looking forward to work and I even came into work dressed up in a cute costume. Before my shift starts my boss has me speak to HR and she hands me a letter, hr informs me they are terminating my contract right away. The reasoning was for "a business decision" and it's not because I did anything wrong, which doesn't make any sense since they just hired 2 new employees. I feel depressed, embarrassed, rejected and crushed because my improvements didn't even matter, they just wanted to get rid of me asap. I just can't stop crying, I feel humiliated. I took off my costume and left the building. My once loving boss was so indifferent to me. Here's the kicker I had another interview for another job a few weeks prior and I turned it down last minute because I figured things would get better with my workplace and I really loved the people I worked with. I feel like a fucking failure for not seeing this coming and not taking the chance with the other job. I was so dumb and afraid.

No. 479150

I thought it was interesting that the publisher she worked for let her do the entire manga on her own, without assistants or much interference from editors.

No. 479152

Oh anon, I'm so sorry. Sometimes life just won't stop kicking you in the proverbial balls and there isn't much we can do about it.
Take some time for yourself and use it for self improvement, relaxation and self reflection. You can do this, and a better opportunity will come along. Make sure to be friendly and open with your supervisor at your next workplace, and don't be afraid to let them know about your problems. I've learnt this the hard way, used to keep everything to myself because I didn't want to bother coworkers with things that don't concern them, but they just thought I was a slacker.

No. 479153

You can do it! Just don't overwhelm yourself by adding a load of pressure. Start by trying to plan out just one meal each day as something healthy - breakfast is easiest. Then continue to make small changes over time. Weigth is totally controlable, just be patience and build your consistency toward healthier choices.

No. 479156

I'm really sorry that happened to you anon. Felt this in my soul.

No. 479157

Thank you for the encouragement anon, it means a lot.

The thing is my boss knew the magnitude of the situation, she knew everything and even saw the news articles. She just ran out of patience and probably felt like I was using my grandmother's death as an excuse. It's unrealistic as fuck to think I should "get over" my grandmother's brutal death in 2 weeks. I just didn't think she had the heart to actually fire me over this terrible event, she was so loving to me that's why I was so shocked. I will definitely take a short break before I get back into the workforce. I'll get too depressed if I'm jobless for too long.

No. 479161

i was objectified a lot in my late teens due to my body, and i feel like it has "traumatised" me.

i had a breast reduction when i was 18 (almost 6 years ago), but i think having big breasts for a couple of years gave me some sort of dysphoria/body dysmorphia. i hit puberty late and out of nowhere i got all this male attention (a lot of it was from gross old men) and my breasts were constantly commented on and groped at parties. it was a terrible, terrible experience that no girl should have to go through.

i usually wear loose/somewhat baggy tops. even though my breasts are average compared to my height/weight/build i'm still terrified that they are the only thing people notice about me.

my current part time job makes me have to be around a lot of uni aged people and a lot of guys oogle my body. it makes me feel so disgusted and triggers my eating disorder. objectification sucks.

No. 479172

This was me for 5 years in my high school days. I became totally infatuated with my male best friend after about 2 years of us being friends. We ended up dating for a few months in Junior year, then breaking it off due to a friend trying to sabotage the relationship. He ended up coming out to me as gay in the first year of college. So 2 years of me still being attached to him and us saying it wasn't the right time. It was such a confusing couple of weeks after he came out, he was also confused too. He explained to me and our other friends a few weeks later "I had a hard time coming to terms because I really enjoyed and loved being around Anon, but I just couldn't find myself to love her like that." I was basically the "If you don't love her romantically, then you might be gay," girl. Everyone we knew also thought the same, even other gay friends told themselves, "He's either a straight coward or he's gay" lol they were really supportive for both of us. It was heartbreaking for me to come to terms. It's such an odd story to tell because it's like a script from a TV series or something, but it happened lol

No. 479174

He was raped, or coerced by an older girl and it probably stunted him nobody should have sex that young, he should talk to a therapist about it sorry to hear anona

No. 479183

a family member passed away yesterday and i've been really upset. i told the guy i'm talking to about it when he asked how my day had been since i knew i'd be "off" and not like myself, but also because it's something happening in my life and i'm pretty sure people who are just friends, even, share that stuff with each other.

i didn't want to vent about it and i wasn't looking for anyone's fake sympathy, i just wanted to make it known and maybe get a, "hey, i'm sorry, i understand and that sucks" or SOMETHING. but he didn't even acknowledge that i'd lost someone. he steamrolled right over me with everything that was going on with him and then flirted with me like nothing had happened. i can't flirt with someone when i've lost someone less than 24 hours ago. it's insane. i removed myself from the convo after that and agreed to talk later, but i'm pretty sure this is a huge red flag.

it's a shame because i liked him, i just don't think i can overlook this.

No. 479184

i am sorry for your loss, i hope you can care for yourself and be cared for and heal. its great that you are rid of him, he showed his true colours and now you can avoid the pain of finding that out later while being involved with him.

No. 479188

Deep down I blame this one friend for damaging one of my really expensive things, but at the time I blamed the establishment we were at because I didn't want to make her feel attacked. Her bumbling, clueless, and stupid nature causes a lot of problems within our friend group and not just between her and I. No one wants to yell or be mad at her though, because she doesn't (seem) do these things on purpose. She's nice, but also an absolute stereotype.

No. 479191

I have a huge crush on a guy in my class that’s taken. I can’t help but admire him. He’s just so nice and sweet to everyone, even me who’s so awkward and weird that I put people off with first impressions. I know it’s wrong to pine for someone who’s spoken for, but my brain can’t help fantasize about him inappropriately. My gaze always lingers on him for far too long in class and he notices because he locks eyes with me sometimes and we both quickly look away because awkward. I think he knows that I like him and I hope that doesn’t make it awkward between us (we’ve had several chats but aren’t friends, more like acquaintances).

I’m so jealous of his girlfriend (whom I’ve never met). He’s such a good catch. He’s good looking without realizing he’s attractive which gives him such a humble characteristic to him. He’s always on top of things for all our classes. He’s super smart. He’s such a good public speaker and well-spoken with phenomenal etiquette (he’s never made me feel awkward and that’s saying something). He doesn’t go on the internet at all except for school work and contacting people via Facebook. His work ethic is amazing. I wish I could be like him. I wish I could be with him.

Why Is my brain being so dumb going after a guy that can’t even like me back…

No. 479202

I went to go do laundry and as luck would have it, our elevator is up and running again! They shut it off and were completely replacing it (thank god, it was a rickety piece of shit) so we didnt have an elevator for about two weeks. If you wanted to do laundry, you had to go out the front door (lots of stairs because I live on the 3rd floor plus the walkway to the front door also has stairs) and then walk around to get into the basement. I got in the elevator with a man who I know lives a few floors above me, and he had laundry too. Cool, whatevs, enough machines to go around.

We get downstairs and his fucking obese wife is already down there just chilling. One of the regular sized washers is out of order and they’ve already filled up the other two, PLUS the two extra large load machines. This man was bringing down more clothes!! I saw them have some of the laundry baskets to wheel your stuff from washer to dryer full of their clothes too!!! I’m just like… did these fuckers just not wash their laundry for 2 fucking months!?!??! Holy fuck!!! I was worried about thr dryers because they no doubt wouldve hogged them all, but the laundry god took pity on me snd one of them didn’t work for them so they thought it was broken but it worked just fine when I put my clothes in.

No. 479203

sorry not two weeks, we didnt have it for two months lol

No. 479204

All men have some degree of inherent narcissism, and now you know how far his particular brand goes.

No. 479206

Is he autistic?
Similar male friend with autism does the same shit with me. I'll be venting about something super serious that he doesn't or barely acknowledges, because at the root he wants to get back to talking about himself and his own banalities.

It doesn't help that men already aren't brow beaten to be socially courteous like women are.

No. 479210

File: 1572568437919.jpeg (6.46 KB, 300x168, images (2).jpeg)

I recently switched insurance and for some reason my new company is over prescribing me. They gave me 5 times the dose I need and the pharmacy wants me to pay 480$ dollars. It would literally take me a year to get through that much medication. It would most likely rot before I use it. I also can't fucking pay 500 monthly. Ohave to get this sorted out

No. 479217

samefag but this is the last part

I went to go fold my laundry and these fuckers were using ALL FOUR of the wheelie baskets!!! And even when I was folding my laundry, their stuff was on the other end of the table but some of my stuff got in the middle since I didn’t have my own fucking wheelie basket to put that shit in while I folded and when I went to go grab clothes in the middle of the table I could smell their FRESHLY LAUNDERED CLOTHING that still fucking REEKED!!!!!!!!!!!!

No. 479230

insurance doesn't set your prescription anon, talk to your dr.

No. 479233

hbo go is absolute garbage it takes forever to load and ALWAYS resets where I was on an episode or sometimes skips entire episodes, I cant believe I pay for this shit

No. 479245

I babysit these kids and I usually love kids but recently I’ve been slapped in the face with the reality that kids aren’t little angels
Parents these days just give their kids whatever they want or do whatever they want to get them to shut up
This one kid I babysit is a fucking awful crotch goblin hailing from the pits of hell and his parents enable him every time he. Throws a fit because “owie wahhh i fell, after I launched myself off the couch after repeatedly doing so despite being told no” or because he got bit by a dog he was torturing he’ll come up to you, wailing and wanting to be held fuck off his parents just baby him and give him everything he asks for and wait out his risky actions like when he climbs on bookshelves he’s not used to being told no and he’s just one of many examples
I babysat another kid who, every time he threw a fit flung himself back on the floor hitting his head really hard or banging his head on my leg or the wall he did it so hard one time he got a nosebleed and had bruises on it.
If you guys ever have kids please establish early on that they don’t get whatever they want and make them sit in time-out or spank them if they act up because most kids think the world is owed to them and rarely get punished and live as inconsequential brats and other people have to deal with them, and aren’t allowed do anything about their shit behavior but accept it
Another babysitting pet peeve is when people hand you their kids and they’re sick, unwashed, or have dirty diapers.
I usually love kids but idk I’m starting to feel jaded from being around them so much

No. 479250

I was reading r/deadbedrooms and it made me really sad. While my bf and I don't have a dead bedroom (we have sex a couple times a week), it made me realize we still have a lot of intimacy issues. There is definitely an imbalance of giving vs. receiving where I will give him oral or hand jobs without asking for anything in return ever, and this is something he has pointed out before. I have a lot of shame and disgust for my body and sexuality due to my emotionally/sexually abusive ex and my overbearing catholic dad who felt entitled to my body. Also, my bf was a virgin when we met, very immature about our sex life when we first started and held a lot of toxic views about sex when we first started dating which did some damage too. He's no longer that immature about it, but I guess I still don't fully trust him when it comes to asking, even though he really wants to explore pleasuring me and doing things that make me feel good. But honestly it seems easier to just keep going the way we are.

I've tried sex therapy before but it just didn't stick. It's just impossible to view my body as a positive thing. I think the years of shame and abuse have done permanent damage and there's nothing that can be done about it now. The worst part is that I don't even have a low libido, I am frequently horny but instead of trying to relieve it, I just crush the feeling down. I know what I'm doing is unhealthy, but I cannot imagine asking my bf to give me head like he does to me when he's horny. The thought makes me sick. I really wish I was truly asexual or something.

No. 479255

anon who can't shut up about how much time I waste online, sorry. wow I wasted so much time this week. fucking abysmal. i'm behind on HW and i'm booked for most of saturday.

No. 479258

I'm tired of living with a chronic illness. It's nonstop pain and hassle and there's nothing I can do about it except try to ignore how much it sucks and keep pretending that I'm strong in the face of adversity even though I'm not because nobody likes a whiner.

No. 479259

you're strong anon, you can always unload your troubles here, it's not whining.

No. 479261

Im actually confused
I had leg/feet cramps while driving to home
And my roomie offered to drive for me
And i let her
But the thing is… she couldnt get the car off the place i stopped to exchange seats, like 3 to 5 times she tried
And mind you, its like 11pm and at a dark street with little vehicles passing by
So i said it would be better if I took the driver seat back
And she said that i should teach her
But like????? Another time sure! but NOW ????? I mean look at the crime chances girl
And she got freaking offended and is now giving me the silence treatment
I just…

No. 479263

I feel extremely depressed today. I'm having my period and I never believed pms was even a thing, but my last several periods have made me extremely depressed right before and during my period, I kind of just want to blow my brains out right now (not exaggerating) because of how bad I feel. also I keep having stomach issues and diarrhea for some reason. I'm also feeling really depressed that I don't have friends, especially on halloween because it's my favorite holiday but I can't really do anything because I don't have friends. on top of that I keep thinking about how me & my ex boyfriend hung out last halloween (we weren't a couple yet) and how happy I felt when we did that. I can't fucking believe that was an entire year ago?!?! and now it's all over. he said he wanted to be friends after we broke up but he never texts me, I thought he would at least text me to say happy halloween but he hasn't. I feel so alone

and I have to be at work at 8am tomorrow when I'm used to working nights and have insomnia. fuckkkk

No. 479279

I am SICK of people trying to politicize the Joker movie and trying to connect it to Incels or the Alt-Right,Its a good movie that I liked really much

recently If a movie or book depicts a troubled or violent individual or situation, the new breed of critics assume that the director or author are at least sympathetic to what is being portrayed, or are in favor of, or are actually advocating for same(same thing happened with Gone Girl) It is not imagined that a director might portray a character or situation that the director or author sees as just a platform for a story.

No. 479291

Aww i feel you anon. I got my period today and the first day is always the worst, because I get unbelievably unbearable pain, and i start hitting and punching myself to distract me away from it. My body temperate goes way out of control too, like I'm cold but I'm sweating at the same time lol. I have a really nice but sad memory of my ex on Halloween too, about 2 years ago - we just walked around the neighbourhood looking at all the kids wearing costumes and talking about things and laughing. It was just really nice and I often think about that day. I actually texted her a few days ago to say happy birthday and she thanked me, and I texted back but i haven't gotten a response yet and i'm trying hard to not let it get to me, but the fact is I still miss her and wanna hang out and catch up. I feel bloody pathetic for it.

I'm sorry if I made this seem all about me anon, you just reminded me a lot of stuff because we were so similar. I really hope you get better anon

No. 479316

Nah you didn't and thanks for the support, and I'm sorry your period is so terrible. It really sucks to miss an ex. Hope you feel better soon too and happy late halloween!

No. 479334

I had to spend the night at my boyfriends house because there was a flash flood warning right before I was about to leave. my boyfriend’s roomate set off their fire alarm twice at 1 am and 1:30 am drunkenly trying to cook, and my boyfriend set an alarm for 6:30 am, and hit snooze for an hour but I always wake up with the first alarm. When I was grumpy this morning about only getting 5 hours of sleep, my bf asked me what was wrong, I explained that it really threw me off to unexpectedly stay the night, that I have to work until 8:30 tonight, that it was stressing me out that now I’ll have to nap during the 2 hours I have between class and work cause I was planning on getting homework done. His response was “sorry, you never have to sleep over here again”. I’ve been sleeping over at his house for like 2 nights a week for two months, last night was just a weird unfortunate case due to the weather/I’ve been sick all week and need more sleep , and now he made it sound like he never wants me to come back. Now I’m gonna be worried all day about what he said, fuck.

No. 479434

I caught feelings for someone in casual relationship, who said they had feelings for me too. He sleeps with someone else, chaos ensues. While shitty, he didn't want anything serious since he plans to move out of the country, so I guess I have to just accept it.

The vent here is that he just told me that after everything that happened, he now wants a serious relationship.

Fucking cunt. I can't get over them no matter how hard I try.

No. 479442

I feel you anon. I just wasted 4 days straight online. My problem has definitely gotten a lot worse in the past 6 months or so.

No. 479463

I was just at a restaurant eating alone when I saw this decent-looking guy coming in from an Uber meeting up with his date. When she saw him, she loudly told him, “WOW YOU ARE SO TALL!” Something about that made my blood boil.

No. 479464

im trying to come up with data visualization projects for my resume but cant come up with any ideas. every time I start a project I realize halfway through that it won't work or is too complicated or is stupid or someone's already done something similar.

maybe my next project will be an in depth exploration of the weights of haunted house employees

No. 479469

i don't know what it is, i just hate the fucking k-pop threads. i hide them and then two days later there's new ones sprouting up. i wish mods had gone through with making a general board for koreaboos but i know it wouldn't get enough traffic to warrant it.

No. 479478

Finally someone who feels the same. There's seems to be tons of k-pop related threads. Why not contain it all in one thread? It's just so annoying constantly hiding them. And the k-pop spergs constantly spill their k-shit autism in other threads too. Can we do a petition or something?

No. 479496

k-pop is a stain on society. it draws the most unstable people to be rabidly obsessed with it. most normal people had their cringy boy band fangirl phase when they were like 12 but koreaboos seem to be way too old to act like the way they do. everyone obsessed now will look back and cringe in no less than two years lmao

they really just need to stick to twitter and tumblr where they belong, I wish we could ban it altogether here.

No. 479497

I'm taking a CS class and I am just now realizing I am stupid. On a certain level, yes the professor sucks at teaching, but also I am a scatterbrained dumbass and didn't take great notes or really understand basic shit.

My hw partner for the class is nice, but this is her first CS class so she's kind of clueless. My dumb ass was kind of judging her, when we're both kind of dumb. This is only my second CS class so why was I out here thinking I'm a hot shot?

For each homework I swear I'm going to be parked in this stupid fucking professor's every single goddamn office hour. I never understood what the hw assignment was asking in the first place, but we needed to work on it, so we went to office hours and the prof basically ended up writing most of our program. Once again I'm inclined to blame the prof's teaching because the lectures are a mess. I still don't get shit and now the base of the program follows the prof's logic so it confuses me. Whatever.

Love that my stupid ass can't even write a coherent rant. I really went to bed at 3am last night and thought I would be fine today. Nope! Today at the office hours I just dissociated from my normal self and become brain dead bitch me who has given up.

Hopefully I get my ass in gear and start prepping more often, and actually fucking thinking because I know I'm stupid but being this level of dumb just makes me crave death. Fuck. I actually thought about taking more CS courses but this bitch now just wants to be in and out of this shit.

I'm going to start looking at the next hw assignment, probably not understand it, and blow my fucking brains out. kek

No. 479498

thirding this, k-boos are the bane of this site, it's barely even worth it to check m, even though it should be one of my favorite boards.

No. 479499

I also burnt my tongue while trying to eat soup today. The universe is probably punishing me for good reason, but still.

No. 479503

While I realize eating enough to make my stomach hurt isn't a healthy coping mechanism for PMS, surely it's not the worst one either. Better than just doing nothing and crying so much that I go to work the next day looking like someone allergic to nuts who just rubbed MnMs on their eyes. And at least I finished some leftovers.

No. 479514

why don’t the retarded ass regulars in the pro ana threads realize how much of a cancer they are on humanity? like, half of them are allergic to sage and the other half are chronic bloggers playing the “my life is harder than urs!!!” game with other equally attention-starved anons or the subjects of the thread. honestly it’s the most pathetic shit on this site right next to the PP/GC fags who can’t stay in their fucking nuclear containment zone.

No. 479519

>>479514 seconded. that thread is just filled with brainrot anachans, wow some skelly looks slightly bigger in this selfie wOW all while no one sages nor understand wtf that means.

No. 479520

I fucking hate my old best friend 2 years ago I made friends with a homeschool girl who I introduced to great things
>showed her some of my music
>got her on social media
>let her play my xbox
>hang out with her every other day
Things were good for a year then she met this group of guys and started hanging out with them for a while I tagged along but they didn’t want me around and they’re dicks anyways but Then little by little she’d blow me off and stuff to hang out with them a group of fucking rabid stupid gross ugly males I got her into playing games and a bunch of music and shit and now she’s using it to lure in the peen/male attention and it’s so groce
Eventually she starts dating one of those dudes and cheats on him with two of the other guys in the group ; they stayed together but he became so controlling over her and she could only hang out with me if he didn’t know we hung out. To make things worse they moved in together (she’s a senior in high school, I graduated) One day she invited me to their house only to make me wait outside, and then she backed out at the last minute because her retarded ape got mad that I was there to see her, another thing is when me and my bf had problems and I complained to her about it, she told everyone in her gross male group about it as an anecdote teehee. I fought with her about it but forgave her and we hung out every now and again but it was rlly rare, I haven’t seen her in person since June and we rarely text but back then they had really bad relationship problems she used to only text me when ever she needed to ask “hey man can I stay over he’s kicking me out again” the final nail in the coffin is when she saw me in town a month ago she didn’t wave at me or come up to me and talk because her dumbfuck Boyfriend was by her and she ~didn’t wanna make him jealous~
It just pisses me off how you can build someone up and have them shit all over you for a group of ugly males and her gross bf I hope they break up and she learns that dick is temporary but friendship is forever
My bf is my only friend now but I miss having a fellow lady around
Also another conclusion to draw from this is it’s ok to have male friends but don’t be the token female of the male group bc they just make passes at you and males suck ass

No. 479523

File: 1572654912206.jpg (700.83 KB, 1078x1567, No one asked.jpg)

I know it's no secret but it still makes me mad when I see uggo dudes on dating apps pretending like women are pining to be their side play thing. It's so disrespectful to their unfortunate partners who somehow tolerate this shit or don't know about it.
Just look at this fatso.

No. 479533

Sorry if this is too pink pill, but I'm actually a little interested in hearing more about this concept

If you want, I'd love to hear more–we could even start this up in the pinkpill thread
I'd love to learn more about how to recognize it and avoid it

No. 479537

I've seen it happy way too many times
>Ugly as sin guys date cute girl with nice personality who treat them good
>Somehow it's not enough for them so they either manipulate the poor girl into polymary or an open relationship which just involves him fucking whoever and the girl not even be able to flirt with other guys
>If not that they cheat

Why does this happen so often? Is it the girls low self worth allowing him to manipulate and think he can do whatever? Is it the ego boost and now somehow the ugly ass neckbeard think he's Chad? I just wish women were more picky with men, this happens too many times and it just allows men to treat us shitty

No. 479563

recently found out my best friend made a power point about me. Felt too uncomfortable digging deeper but yeah.

No. 479582

Many of today's popular female indie artists suffer from the same voice, song, and creative direction syndrome. It doesn't help that most of them aren't great instrumentalists or can play basic guitar chords. It's either the DIY simple bedroom guitar sound or basic bedroom pop with meh production. Such examples are Snail Mail, Clairo, Soccer Mommy, and King Princess.

Inb4 someone calls me a woman hater - I'm not. I just find the above's music to be overdone, cheesy, and boring.

No. 479586

I agree with you, but there’s so much more out there as far as female indie artists go. My suggestion is simply to broaden your tastes, spend a weekend with a playlist you don’t expect to enjoy, and you might find something new. It sounds stupid but I’m big into indie and have only barely brushed on the artists you listed, I agree that they’re basic and honestly deserve their own genre since they follow the same patterns. But if you dig deeper into the artist you do like, you’re bound to find there’s a good deal of female indie artists you’ve never heard of that would blow them out of the water. Just a thought, but honestly feel free to disregard my word spew because I’m drunk anyway lmao

No. 479603

I do have female indie artists I like. I just didn't mention the ones I liked since my intention was to talk about what makes a lot of the artists I mentioned similar and boring. Thanks though.

No. 479604

I've just been called him by a female cashier because I crossdress. It's just about male clothing fitting way better to me and being more practical and non sexualizing. I still very obviously look female. I feel like I should conform more if it happens again because I don't want people to have any doubt about my 'identity', but I don't want to at the same time. Fml and fuck troons.

No. 479623

I need more details

No. 479627

Male friend of mine told me my face looks masculine and feels bad man. I want to hide it away forever and not talk to anyone. I guess I should just be considered a troon because I’m tall. Isn’t the first time I’ve been called masculine. I hate my defined jawline.

No. 479634

its interesting because women are told that they have masc features but if its so common, then couldnt you consider that feminine as well? i have a really strong chin and cheek bones like a fuckin caricature of a mans skull. eh? does it really matter? but im sorry it makes you feel so bad

No. 479638

It doesn’t matter too much, but my friend being so blunt kinda stung for some reason. I never make comments to people like this, and it seems as if they want to hurt my feelings.

No. 479639

i have an event all day today but only slept for four hours even though i went to bed at 11. i woke up after my roomate came and after tossing and turning for an hour spent the rest of the night on my phone. someone kill me

No. 479642

File: 1572698162313.jpg (4.16 KB, 250x250, 1568521077003.jpg)

god I hate opening so much I'm this close to changing my work availability so that they can't schedule me at 7am anymore but I need the hours. I'm eating day-old fried chicken and fuming REEEEE I'M TIRED AND I MISS BEING A NEET.

No. 479645

I've never gotten over how much I look like my father. I hate him so I avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I hate my brown eyes. I hate my face shape, I hate my nose, I hate all about this.
I thought with age I'd come at peace with this but I never will. I need a complete facial surgery. Changing my name and surname was not enough. I plan to get my tubes tied just in case. I know that he wants grandkids most of all and it's so good denying him that. These shit genes are going to end with me.

No. 479651

I wish I had some kind of a dream or goal in life.

I'm at the stage where all of my friends have finished college, trained and have now got jobs related to their degrees that they're really passionate about. I did multiple degrees in things I wasn't really enthusiastic about because I felt pressured into doing something (it's a basic requirement for any job that isn't retail here, I think it might be different elsewhere). I keep getting refused by companies relevant to my degree because I don't have a big portfolio full of passion projects like my friends had who did art/code for fun in their spare time. I finally got an unpaid job but there's no permanent job at the end of it. All the rejection for a olid year while my friend were working away has really taken a toll on me.

I know I'm depressed but there's nothing I can do about it because I don't have the money to see a counsellor while working this unpaid job. I just feel like my whole life has been put on hold: I can't move out, I can't pay for driving lessons, I can't move abroad unless I can prove I have savings… While my friends are moving abroad, have apartments and can all drive (although they've probably gotten a lot of help from their families).

I keep asking myself "What do you want to do with your life? What job would you like? What do you enjoy?" and I can't answer any of those questions. I just feel like if I had a goal to work towards I could idk get some degree or training or work hard at something I enjoy until I can turn it into a career but I just feel so fucking numb. I don't even have any hobbies, I just come home and browse the internet.

Sorry I'm a little drunk and probably don't make sense. I'm just depressed and don't know what to do with my life and I feel like I'm the only one I know experiencing this.

No. 479657

>did multiple degrees in things I wasn't really enthusiastic about because I felt pressured into doing something
>I keep getting refused by companies relevant to my degree because I don't have a big portfolio full of passion projects

Damn anon, you basically described me. I had to work at a call center for a few years post-grad when I got desperate for a job, cause I couldn't find anything else with my degrees for those reasons. I was so depressed throughout my undergrad and grad. At the time I felt lucky to have balanced school and work while keeping my head above water. I was satisfied that my grades were okay, but I didn't have much energy leftover to focus on building connections or doing anything else.

I'm still not using my degrees, but I've found refuge in working office jobs for now. These jobs often require a degree and the work is pretty stress-free (compared to a call center and most retail I guess lmao) plus the pay isn't bad. I would highly recommend soliciting a recruiter to see if they can place you in some kind of administrative position if you don't know where to start. I wish I hadn't wasted my time with the call center-and not to be harsh-but you need a job that actually pays.

>"What do you want to do with your life? What job would you like? What do you enjoy?"

Maybe you want a comfortable life. The reality is most of us don't want to spend our lives working.
My truth is that I want the job that's going to make me the most money, while stressing me the least, so I can go home to do what I want without anxiety. I know in today's compare culture we're expected to have really elaborate answers and complex life plans, but there's nothing wrong with ordinary expectations either.

What you say makes a lot of sense and there are a lot of people like me in the same boat as you anon.

No. 479678

Me in a nutshell

I hate my dad too, he is a racist black man. I’m biracial half white and half black. He’s colourstuck as fuck, he believes that black men only should impregnate every race. Yet they went their biracials daughters to fuck black men?

I was sexually harassed by a black guy in my school. You would think schools here in England would’ve took that seriously? But there was no proof and they gave him a slap on the wrist. My father claimed that he was “only having a laugh”. I’m always harassed by black or Arab guys and my father is the type to say “be grateful” to me. Never actually say it’s their fault.

He was abusive to my mother, absent during my youth, never gave me shit, wasn’t in his other kids lives. Awful.

Now he’s pressing on me to have kids because I’m 25? Fuck off.

I’ll do what I want and I don’t want my kids to look like him. I pray they look like the father than me. I hate looking in the mirror sometimes because all I see is a female version of a piece of shit.

No. 479679



Tinder is full of ugly bastards and I cringe

No. 479701

File: 1572715657894.jpg (36.54 KB, 500x366, 1431950083784.jpg)

>want to move out and live on my own in a different city
>need a better job to do that
>need car to get to a better job
>need money to get a car
>more money and better jobs are in the bigger cities

I want to fucking kill myself and I hate living in a fucking village that has shit transport system. Fuck, why can't I be upper middle class like most of my relatives

No. 479702

I hate how stressful it is to apply for jobs and how it can flip flop between not getting responses for months and someone wanting to hire you on the spot.

No. 479717

i feel you anon. i applied to starbucks and they got back to me about four months after, asking if i wanted to come in for an interview. like…can't you check when i submitted my application?

No. 479792

File: 1572733759544.jpg (25.06 KB, 564x562, 52300435_1886924908085876_6464…)

>happen to be in the same discord server where my gf is
>there's a girl who insists on hitting on my gf all the time knowing very well that she's taken and that I'm in there too, sometimes she does it in front of me too
Seriously, how pathetic must you be to do something like that… My gf doesn't acknowledge her at all aside from occasional chitchatting, and outright rejects her when this girl starts being pathetic, but it's both baffling and hilarious to see how this girl acts. Notable quotes:
>"Please consider me"
>"Can you give me a hug? Please"
>"Can I visit you?"
>"Do you like x hair? I'll change mine for you"
Sometimes I'm tempted to step in. I don't feel threatened, I know that my gf thinks that she's a loser and all and I wouldn't cause a fight, I'd just throw some snarky remark or something like that. She's disrespecting me, after all.
Pathetic ass hoe

No. 479809

holy shit anon, same, it's so fucking frustrating

No. 479810

I’ve had a 100° fever for 7 days, got blood tests, and the doctors were basically like “idk wait it out come back next week” I just had to cancel plans on my bf tonight cause I’m so tired and in so much pain there’s no way I can safely drive to his house and spend the night. It’s so silly but I have this horrible irrational fear that if we don’t hang out he’ll realize how much he enjoys not having a girlfriend, and will break up with me once I’m better. (I once had a guy do that when I was had a stomach bug earlier in the year so tbf I don’t think it’s that irrational) so now I’m just laying in bed in hella feverish pain worrying that my boyfriend is gonna leave me lol why am I always this anxious all the time

No. 479834

File: 1572741156317.gif (173.89 KB, 350x300, cony-playing-Volleyball.gif)

I'm off my meds again and fucking rolling. Everything makes me so mad.
At least Im trying to channel it into good causes … like thinking about TERFs and Nazis eggs me on and I wanna fight them!! TERFs fucking die challenge. But at the same time I know it's not the most healthiest thing
But when I'm on my meds my brain is fucking clogged and I get fat (not trying to attack anyone plus-sized, you are beautiful, I just PERSONALLY prefer being a certain weight for ME). No fucking winning hahaaaa
I should be programming right now. I'm a dumb.(dilate)

No. 479835

NTA but Starbucks did the same thing to me, contacted me months after I applied and I went in for the interview and got rejected. Then they forgot and called me again for another interview. I ignored them.

No. 479838

Why don't you direct your anger towards the men who like to rape and then beat trans sex workers to death and hide their bodies in dumpsters instead of getting mad at women who post their opinions on the internet?

No. 479840

Oh look a TERF followed me here, lovely!!
Those are literally your boyfriends and husbands, sweaty. Maybe if you'd stop telling them they're disgusting and gay for sleeping with trans women, they'd stop feeling like they need to kill innocent trans women to be masculine. Cis women are some of the biggest enforcers of toxic masculinity. But y'all are so insecure that you need to be bigots and use violent rhetoric just to keep others down(nice bait uwu)

No. 479843

Ignore the trannie/soft boy bait anon.

No. 479850

I've never told a man he was disgusting or gay for liking trannies, I really don't give a shit who men want to fuck as long as it's a consenting adult. And there's nothing wrong with being gay either.

You blame women for men's actions. Typical misogynist homophobe TRA.

No. 479856

File: 1572743911791.jpg (95.83 KB, 1300x951, businessman-committing-suicide…)

Cry harder, troon. Life right now is as good as its ever going to get for you freaks. People are getting fed up with playing along with the delusions of predatory scrotes. You aren't a woman and you never will be.
>y'all are so insecure
Statistically speaking there is a very high chance that pic related is you by the age of 30 if not before. That is if you can find a rope that will support the weight of your fat hairy beer gut.

No. 479857

I hate how ok zoomers are with mega rich people, and how oddly sympathetic they are to them. I have never been an overly political person, but I have always know being a billionaire is never achieved by being a good person. Hell I think you have to some highly questionable shit to be a millionaire. I'm not anti wealth, I'm not against accumulating money for future generations, I'm fine with private property, private school, etc. Even my fairly conservative parents think there is something up with people like warren buffet or Jeff Bezos. I saw a post on instagram of a bunch of zoomers defending bill gates and his wealth hoarding. I mean have they never watched a video on 'that side of youtube'. I saw people where calling out Kylie Jenner for posting pics of some 3 million dollar car, but I saw just as many people (mainly young people) defending her. Kylie Jenner earned her money, but did she earn it ethically. I don't think so. She sells repackaged color pop for a higher price, her eyeshadow palettes cost pennies to make yet she charges high end prices. Maybe I'm just getting old. I feel like kids should be pissed off, but instead they are on twitter feeling bad for Shane Dawson and jeffree star because their website crashed. When the website crashing was most likely done as a stunt just like literally almost eery influencer founded makeup brand. They all crash. They all break the internet. They all sell out. Manny fucking mua's shit sells out. Even when there is some young angry kid (like greta thunberg) they turn out to be linked to some millionaire lobbyist.

No. 479859

I'm constantly weak, never have energy, and my face always looks like I'm ill. I'm so tired of living this way.

No. 479860

Tranny begone.

No. 479864

Everyone blew me off today.
Even this guy friend who I've been getting to know sent me some sappy text earlier about totally not meaning to blow me off and how we could hang out later, and now it's been several hours and he absolutely has.
I don't get why people have to be so shitty like this. It's like they string me along sometimes as a backup option and discard me when it's clear they don't need me. There would have been no negative consequence in telling me they cannot hang out this weekend, so it feels extra purposeful. It hurts to be so blatantly not prioritized or considered.

It also doesn't help that a guy I had talked to off a dating app completely dropped interest after he met me at a party last weekend that I invited him to. Maybe I'm just uglier and more annoying in person, but it hurt so bad to go from this guy texting me every day to practically nothing overnight. It finally trickled to no texting today and I just feel like writing a pissed off text saying not to bother. Before I met him he claimed he bought two tickets for us to go see a Studio Ghibli movie screening at a theatre. Well after meeting me he blew that off, and because he wasn't showing interest in me I didn't bother pressing him. He sent me a text the next day about how he "forgot" about the event and was sooo upset about it. I don't believe him, he probably just took someone else and told me whatever about it as an excuse.

People are bastards.

No. 479869

It should be Noted that Zoomers really hate millennial's and millennial culture,what ever millennial's did/do Zoomers will do the opposite

so because every 30 year old Millennial is now a Socialist/communist for some reason Zoomers embrace hyper capitalism

No. 479873

File: 1572746714946.png (453.43 KB, 1125x2436, IMG_6286.PNG)

I'm so done w dating apps, like I never took them seriously and basically just for something mindless to do when I'm bored but seeing profiles like this make me realize that 80% of the general population is insanely cringy.

No. 479877

Is Bumble at least better than Tinder, in anyone's opinion?

No. 479880

By that dudes logic he just said being a drug addict Republican was a-ok

No. 479885

Bumble definitely has fewer straight up gross guys (like, guys who look like greasy rats who haven't showered in weeks, live with their parents, and have "Yo Mama" listed as their job) and more guys who have actual careers/are better looking imo. Still a lot of cringe tho

No. 479888

& samefag to add if you are only looking for a relationship, Hinge is your best bet

No. 479889

I’m really depressed but no one seems to realize it. They don’t even think it’s possible. I admitted it to a guy once and he said that it couldn’t be true. Everyone at work sees me laughing and cracking jokes and they always comment on how they love being around me because I have such “good energy.” I went to a wedding last weekend and had someone tell me that they find me really charismatic.

People don’t realize that the moment I get home, i just fall apart. I’ve thought about killing myself a lot for the past year, but then I think about my dogs and who would take care of them and get scared of following through.

No. 479897

venting back
Suicide for me is actually a very normal passing thought and it's more a way for me to cope with things and feel relieved or else I can't release my stress. I hate myself for even admitting this but I feed on self-hatred even though it really hurts.

No. 479906

why not just buy a backup plan b to have on hand for if this ever happens in the future? instead of going on birth control and fucking with your body.

No. 479909

The anon you responded to. Do you feel relief because it seems like there is a solution to all your problems?

I thought I let go of these thoughts years ago, but now I’m wondering if I have been depressed all this time, but just got really good at distracting myself until this past year.

No. 479915

>People are getting fed up with playing along with the delusions of predatory scrotes.

this, but the whole lgbt umbrella included too.

No. 479936

my best friend died a month ago and i can't get over it, it's led me to neglect all of my other friendships out of this stupid combination of general autism, pure despair, and the fact that i go to school far away from most of my close friend group, who have each other to grieve in person… this is made worse by the fact that i live alone in an apartment that's falling apart and owned by a slumlord, and dealing with regular responsibilities on top of the grief and schoolwork/work is impossible, i can't focus or keep up, and barely eat or sleep. i can barely sustain any sort of social life, with that in mind, and i'm failing most of my classes… even though i've told all of my professors about it they aren't going to bend over backwards to accommodate me. i ran out of meds and have a bunch of major assignments due after this weekend and i really don't know what to do. it sounds so fucking pathetic but i've never been more actively ready to end it all, so much feels pointless. it just feels weird to know that if i went through with it, it'd be a while until anybody even knew

No. 479941

Ah yes Anon, because buying a 50 dollar pill everytime she has sex and the condom breaks that is also hormones that fuck with your period and body is somehow better than low dose birth control that most women barely notice the effects of, and can even benefit some women. Smart thinking

Also just so you know the whole "birth control is literally the devil!! Hormones!!" myth was made by alt right woman-haters, and continued by delusional health nuts who think they'll get 5 different types of cancers by eating one chicken nugget

No. 479963

hey anon, my best friend died just over a year ago. it fucking destroyed me. I don't have any advice to give to you, I just want to let you know that I've been there and I'm still crawling out of that pit. what sucks the most is that my brain decided to cope with the trauma by almost forcing me to think that everything my friend and I did was fictional. like it happened in a TV show or a book or something, and that it didn't happen in real life. it's trauma that's going to leave me scarred for a long ass time. I fucking suffered through school and cried in every class. I barely got anything done and managed to pass. it's okay to feel hurt. I was in your shoes last year, and I'm still surprised I even got out of it. healing isn't easy at all. I'm really sorry about your friend. shit sucks.

No. 479980

File: 1572776627125.jpg (586.29 KB, 669x1540, lyndsey.jpg)

The pinkpill + gc + radfem thread has always been shit ever since it was created but I finally gave up on it when someone started posting about how BPD is demonized because it's a "female disease" and how men are fetishizing (???) women with the disorder. BPDfags are the worst fucking cancer I've ever seen and sharing a thread with them is a repulsive thought. I just wanted my GC thread to discuss a societal phenomenon and share information and studies anonymously without someone posting 15 replies worth of unbelievably petty bullshit about emoji naming conventions or something.

Pic related, these are actual fucking replies from the thread. Butthurt femcels or robot bait, I can't even tell. Nuke that cesspit for all I care.(bait)

No. 479987

>reeee people with BPD in muh thread
You know people with BPD post in other threads too right? You're already sharing threads with them. Hate to burst your bubble.

No. 479993

i'm that anon and i don't have BPD. you're an idiot. it's extremely weird that 75% of people "diagnosed" with BPD are female, with no regard for the removal of abuse or mistreatment, and it's like, the only condition that develops out of abuse that professionals claim is permanent. crazymaking victims for "maladaptive" coping and saying it's unfixable is fucked up and women should be alarmed. if you don't think that's extremely fishy and not a women's issue, you're very dumb. go back to plebbit if lukewarm tranny takes is all you care about.

No. 479996

Not surprising they have BPD. It comes with the territory of being an asshole radfem or TERF(bait)

No. 479997

you realise we're not all weird demon caricatures right? we're just women who were abused.

No. 480004

I feel really frustrated about two things:

1. I submitted a 1500 word proposal to create my own major at university. Turns out the university administration haven't updated the guidelines in several years so there was no reason for me to submit the proposal in the first place because it never would have qualified under the new guidelines, apparently. The administration never got back to me on this, and when I tried to get an answer, one dean wanted to give me a call. She then acted like I had done something fucked up and called my proposal "unacceptable." What the fuck?

2. I don't understand what is going on in my Econometrics class. It turns out we were supposed to have taken a previous econometrics class even though there were no prereqs for this class. The teacher is Chinese and her English really sucks, and she just reads out the powerpoints. I really feel like I'm going to fail the class. It doesn't help that students in the country I'm studying abroad at don't seem to give a shit and love to constantly chat during class. Why the fuck are you guys in class to begin with?

Aren't plenty of people with BPD not abused? And how do you explain men who are diagnosed with BPD? lol

No. 480006

"plenty". statistics show that the overwhelming majority of people with BPD have been abused in some shape or form during their life. whether it be emotional, physical, sexual or verbal abuse. men can be abused as well so not sure about that point

No. 480008

everyone please ignore and report the troon/scrote bait. this is probably the same psycho from earlier.

No. 480011

it doesn't have to be triggered by abuse, a lot of it is genetic.

No. 480012

"overwhelming majority" is not "all". my ex claimed he had bpd (he was actually diagnosed with it) because his internet gf broke up with him when he was 15, lmao.

No. 480014

that's what he claimed but who knows what actually triggered it. thing is, there's a lot of people with BPD and they all have different or similar or no reasons at all for having it. you can't shoehorn them all into one big being. & BPD can absolutely be "fixed". maybe i'm just from a country where the mental health treatment is miles ahead of america but BPD is not incurable or untreatable and a lot of people get better and live perfectly normal lives from where i'm from.

you're right it's not "all" but just because you knew one person whose reason you thought was flimsy or he lied about doesn't mean there's thousands of those. maybe he was the exception and not the rule?

No. 480015

"actually diagnosed with it" doesn't count for anything. "actual diagnoses" don't mean anything when most mental health professionals are a joke anyways. the majority of people diagnosed with BPD are female. 75% of people diagnosed with BPD are sexual abuse survivors (usually childhood), and 91% have been abused. i don't trust what men say. men are rarely diagnosed with it anyways. men are looking to have pity parties all of the time. BPD carries a lot of stigma with it when, from all appearances, it's just trauma response. there's a reason why almost all people who are being diagnosed with it are female. your bf was obviously just a testerical pissbaby. there are definitely some weirdos looking to be pitied, but the majority of people who are diagnosed with BPD aren't looking to be diagnosed with some stupid shit that carries a stigma. they're primarily actual abuse surviovrs, from all appearances.

No. 480016

BPD is retardedly overdiagnosed (moreso in women than men), I was diagnosed with it in my late teens but later was diagnosed with ADHD and literally all my symptoms went away with ADHD medication. I never had any trauma or genetic predisposition to BPD either, so.

No. 480018

bpd doesn't just "trigger". it's mostly a genetic condition. i think the reason why there are more women than men diagnosed with bpd is because it's seen as feminine condition, it's not often diagnosed in men unless it's on the extreme side. maybe because men with bpd have different set of symptoms (just like in case of depression or autism) than women with bpd? maybe bpd is overdiagnosed in young women or it's mistaken for ptsd? there are plenty of possible reasons, coming up with some conspiracies is quite silly.
and nah, it's not really completely curable, it can go into recession with dbt and mood stabilizers tho.

he 100% had bpd. multiple suidice attempts, extremely unstable, manipulative, threatening suicide every other day, black and white thinking, etc.

No. 480020

>mood stabilizers
>for bpd
please no god. are you just reading about this online? because psychiatrist do not recommend mood stabilizers for people who exclusively have BPD.

No. 480021

kek i obviously meant remission, ignore my esl ass.

No. 480023

just speaking from experience, my ex had to take them bc of his anger outbursts.

No. 480027

well for what it's worth, he sounded like a lot and i hope you're doing better now away from him. i'm not the anon who made that whole conspiracy about BPD either (which sounded like a huge cope imo) so i agree it's a way more complex issue than can be summarized by one neat conspiracy theory. hope you have a good day!

No. 480029

aww, thank you for your concern kind anon! yup, i'm doing great now, thanks.

No. 480030

You're not doing completely fine obviously, could you next time not larp as a psychiatrist?

No. 480033

>not larp as psychiatrsit
wut anon where did i larp as one. i've never claimed to be an expert, i was only speaking from personal experience. i'm sorry if this is a sensitive topic for you, i didn't want to generalize all people with bpd, obviously i think living with it comes with its own set of challenges, and being demonized by people certainly doesn't help.

No. 480044

Nah I am not bpd, sorry for overreacting, just that it annoyed me when you said it's mostly just genetic when all the bpd people I know are suffering so hard.

No. 480069

What are you talking about? I have had multiple friends with BPD and they've gotten mood meds to stabilize their extreme mood swings so they respond to therapy better. One of them was basically 100% cured of the condition with the combination of meds and cognitive therapy.

As for BPDs in general I sort of feel bad for them and sort of can't. I've met around 5 diagnosed BPDs in my life (yeah my shit luck I guess) and 3 of them have been absolute garbage people set out for ruining lives and seem inhumane and actually evil people with their lack of empathy and consideration for their friends' wellbeing. Having to constantly endure extreme emotional manipulation and borderline sociopathic behavior is fucking traumatizing.

No. 480074

2 things I've noticed about my body while on vacation

When I get sad, I get hungry
When I binge eat, or at least start binging, I stay hungry for quite some time–which is probably why I eat so much

I've known that I sometimes eat my feelings away, but it's just astonishing to see it play out while so aware of it.

I should get therapy, but I want a female therapist and I just feel so uncomfortable with dudes–and for some reason, guys are just way more available/cheaper

No. 480082

Its funny how i always got stabbed in the back in a friendship when all i did is love and cherish them…it hurts so bad to the point where im too afraid to let people into my life anymore. I just kept them outside where its safe and be lonely for the rest of my life without any intimate friends and friendships, its difficult to open up after these kind of events happened more than once…

No. 480089

i'm a big girl, not obese but definitely overweight. i'm starting to see a pattern in guys who are interested in me and i don't know how to break it. all my exes and most guys who flirt with me are always skinny/lanky. it's weird to me because i'm considerably bigger than them lol, and i don't usually find these kinds of guys attractive despite it being my main dating pool. it's making me wonder if they either think i'm easy because i'm fat, or they have a fetish for bigger girls.

i'm talking to a couple guys right now and they're both the same height as me and really thin. they're lovely but i just don't understand why its always the same type of guy i attract. why does it affect me as much as it does? it's really dumb but i feel like such an ogre next to guys like this, like the opposite of how some couples just look really attractive together? i wish it didn't bother me so much.

No. 480090

Going through my wardrobe rn and god I have so many ugly ass clothes my style just matured a lot okay that I wish I could get rid of but I'd like to make some money while doing it instead of straight up dumping it into the trash or a charity. Like… max 5 euros a piece of clothing (some winter coats for example). They're a couple years old but even though they're without tags I don't even remember wearing most of them and they're all in a reasonably good condition. I feel so greedy asking money though idk, maybe because they're hideous to me lmao. But I could really use a bit of €€€. The thing is, idk where I should even sell them. Ebay is not really a thing here and renting a table from a second hand shop also costs money and I don't want to waste it in case no one buys my rags. Guess my cheap boomer ass is off to facebook groups or something, ugh

No. 480093

We actually had a thread about this on /g/ not too long ago, it certainly is a phenomenon.
Are you just not attracted to them on their own? Or is it just because of how it makes you feel? If it's the former that is unfortunate. You'd probably have to make a lifestyle change to find a buff bf, or put yourself out there to them if you like chubby men.

I have the same "issue" myself, although I am no longer overweight (just tall-ish for my location and broad). I love little guys though, and being bigger than them (in height and weight) is…hot. It makes me feel like a Proper Woman rather than a little girl.

No. 480094

Sorry for the late response but I really appreciate your reply anon X I think I do just want a comfortable life but I somehow became surrounded with friends who want to change the world or who have big life goals and I feel pressured to have the same. Job searching is so competitive too.

It's good to hear from someone who feels the same and found a position they're comfortable in. I actually have an interview for an admin job tomorrow so I have my fingers crossed because I think I'd do well in it. I feel really positive about it!

No. 480100

bro, I don't understand minor allele frequency and also am glad I'm going to be done with genetics 5ever in 14 hours when this stupid essay is done

No. 480101

Sick of going on Tinder, sick of the same ratchet looking should-have-been-blacklisted-spunk looking motherfuckers. Just want a decent guy.