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my neet recommendation for Us anons: AmeriCorps
It's tough work but they will hire pretty much anyone, they have job postings all over the us you do pretty much only from their shitty website and over the phone interviews, it's also incredibly hard to get fired unless you like violate a human right. (I had several embarrassing neet transition panic attacks at work. was I annoying? yes? could they get rid of me? no.)
I'd never had a job before but had gone to school for a year and I felt so prepared to find work after even with no degree.
I sound like a government shill but it saved my life. Most programs are for 18-25 but they have plenty of positions for older women. It's work experience that pretty much looks as good as PeaceCorps on your resume. Sometimes they will give you extra money to move. Not great pay but you get like almost 200$ in food stamps and health insurance. (oh also you get about 5000 a year to put towards education. ultimately you are netting about 10 bucks an hour but if you have 0 work experience it's worth it. Vista positions are the tits and you get paid more but I haven't done it yet. Probably will next time I'm in a bind.
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Don't let yourselves ever be shamed for not being part of the machine.
Strive to change the system to be beneficial to more people, do not strive to change yourself to fit a corrupt decaying system.
I know this is a long read and too scholarly for some, but it's a much needed alternative perspective on the issues that face all of us, and it's well worth the read.
Did you actually read anything by KM or FE before memeing them? >>472246
Did you actually read through the link before posting that sarcastic line?
Rhetorical questions of course.
I hope it's ok to post here because I'm not actually a neet, only living similarly to one.
I go to uni but don't have any friends, not even acquaintances. My few friends from high school left a long time ago. I do have a part time job (once per week), but work my shift alone and keep the conversation with costumers at absolute minimum. I don't have any motivation to do anything, my personal hygiene is horrible, I brush my teeth only once per day, have trouble showering daily, rarely wash my hair, wear the same stuff for weeks, eat like shit and only sleep for 4 maybe 5 hours on average. I already studied for way too long because I'm too anxious to go to classes. I only have my family to talk to, if it wasn't for them I'd definitely be a neet, even fatter and would just lay in bed while on the internet 24/7.
It feels like I'm only alive but not truly living. I already wasted so many years being like this and it's only gotten worse. I felt suicidal 5 years ago but not anymore. Now I just try to not be an even bigger embarrassment, disappointment and reason to worry for my parents but I'm failing miserably. I'm already 24 and can't even look at guys, how am I ever supposed to turn into somebody who's somewhat normal when others my age are already working, building houses and getting married? I'm lagging so much behind.
Sweet anon it's okay to feel like this. In an age where everyone is showing off on social media how awesome their lives are and how successful they are, it's totally normal to compare yourself and feel like you're not doing as good as others.
We are all going at our own pace, and that's okay. I am 28 and have only just managed to find a boyfriend after years of desperately wanting love, but all of my high school friends got married and moved out years ago. I still live with my parents. I focus on things that make me happy, like my dog. My sisters. Drawing. Like the other anon said, it's not a race.
Don't give up anon, life gets better. Do you have any hobbies you can throw yourself into? Anything you've always wanted to try?
>>472269>already working, building houses and getting married?
You're only 24 and you aren't a NEET at all, you actually work and many people are still studying at that age and very few are building houses or getting married. Those are long term goals, don't get ahead of yourself and waste time worrying about them. I mean, you don't even need them at all, I sure af don't wanna get married.
Work on your hygiene and daily routine first. There are lots of subreddits that help with forming good habits (/r/selfimprovement, /r/productivity etc) and I see a lot of posts from people with similar issues that resolve them with to do lists and tracking systems and such.
you can get better all of us here were just like you,I started my job when I was 26 and I don't regret it
I know it can seem difficult but a job really is better then going to school in terms of learning normie socialization(namefagging)
Not technically a neet because i do some remote work online, is not even regular, i might work for a month and not work for the next one but i do pay the bills with what little i make. Its just enough to survive in squalor ion my third world dump.
I lost all hope, i am very much a hikikomori, i had two jobs and hated them so much, i never want to go back to an office again, i even hate the work i already do, i hate dealing with people, i have not had a friend in like 5 years, those i did have were few and shitty and i was always the odd excluded one from the groups, i ended either being ghosted or ghosting people. 5 years ago was about the time i ended school which i also hated, i was bullied in highschool and didn't got along with anyone in uni. I have not even had a single conversation in the flesh with anyone for years. I browse ib regularly and listen to a lot of audiobooks and TTC classes to keep my sanity but i know theres nothing i am living for, i am going nowhere, i have no ambitions anymore, i dropped all my dreams and aspirations, even if i had them still at my age is already over, once my father dies i am ending my life most likely, i haven´t already because i worry about him and i pay for everything here in the shithole i live in. Everyone who abused me and bullied me is super successful now and living their dreams traveling the world, i don't even have social media because i am the butt of all jokes and have no one to talk to, i am still very much a poorfag autist looser that i was in HS, even when i tried and tried and sacrificed all my youth to try to escape , i cannot really run away from fate, i can't even afford therapy, i needed it since i was very young but i grew up a neglected poorfag from a one parent home with no friends and family to care for me so i never even had a chance but being the mockery of every context i was a part of.
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I guess thats true. I have been miserable for a long time but i did have a lot more motivation and a willingness to believe things can change and my efforts can have purpose and meaning when i was younger, even when my reality was bleak. Thats a good life relative to just knowing theres nothing but the future void and bad memories from the past.
I talked with my dad yesterday about all my insecurities and the "what If's" I should have taken in life
he then opened up to me and told me about how when my mother was pregnant with my older sister he was in special forces training at that time and he was half way though when he got a call of how my mother's physical and mental was deteriorating and regrettably he dropped out of SF training course to be with his pregnant wife and he was labelled as a coward and quitter by his other friends,he told me that for a long he had always wondered about "what If" he stayed and how much cred it would have given in but after a while he realized that the was the decision he made and he can't change that but he can always change what direction his life is headed as long he was still alive and that I can too
I don't wanna give up
Special forces training sounds a lot more appealing than looking after a pregnant lady who is experiencing incredible discomfort and hormonal mood swings. And a newborn baby???? At least in special forces your dad would get more than 3 hours sleep a night. He's brave and did the right thing and all the others calling him a sissy were probs just acting out of toxic
masculinity. Your dad sounds great and I hope you tell him that!
Hey anon, at least you had a dad that actually wanted to be involved in his family and child's lives to the point of scarifying his career prospects/opening himself up to ridicule, he's one of the very
few and you have a great asset in your possession! As >>472361
said, it is all in the past now and now you are your own person, take away the good things your dad/family taught you and use them to come into your own being. So what if you were babied and, let's say, had a longer childhood than most, if he did do everything for you as you said, you should have a very good template in life what to do or, at the very least, someone you can ask for guidance when encountering new obstacles!
I do love him but I feel I just don't deserve all he does for me,Like he deserves a daughter a parent can be proud of not a loser like me
I want him to be proud of an actual accomplishment not a pity "you did your best and that's all that matters" I want him to truly be proud of me
While he sounds like a decent enough person not to resent you for your "success" in life, use that feeling of wanting to do him proud as a fuel to better yourself and your life! It is better to fail trying than not try at all, and if you preserve and keep trying, one of those times it (whatever that may be) will work out! I know failure is very discouraging but you can't entirely avoid it, what you can avoid however is sulking and dropping your efforts when it does. And your dad will get the bragging rights!
Blogposting just a bit so I don't seem like a positive ig quote account kek, but like I used to be a straight A student in school but now am struggling to keep up at uni, to the point of prolonging my degree by 2 years, as I never developed any proper learning skills (which goes really badly with my high expectations of being good straight out the gate kek), but I know I'm just developing those skills later than others and yes, it may suck now, but it will be worth it in the end once I graduate with a decent honours and my mom will be able to rub it in all of her friends faces lol.
what really can I accomplish,I'm a ex-NEET who works full time at a sporting goods store and still live with my parents
My life is much better and happier then it was a year ago(when I was a NEET) but I'm still kinda of a loser
Maybe I voiced it weirdly but getting married etc isn't even my personal goal, others doing these things just highlights how far behind I am and it also makes me lose hope that I will ever lead a normal life.
How could I find friends when I lack any social skills? I'm completely stunted in this regard meanwhile everybody else already has their set group of friends for years. And how could I find a partner when my idea of a relationship is that of a 16-year-old? Normal people at this age already think about marriage (or just want to fuck around) so how will I ever be able to find somebody who's sweet enough to take things this slow with a mid 20s woman? If I were to tell a guy that I haven't even kissed anybody and am scared of intimacy he'd rightfully be weirded out (or think I was abused).
Hey, baby steps, anon! It is already really good that you've improved your life so much in comparison to a year ago, I'm sure your dad is happy you're out of the worst slumps and onto a normie track now! Also I'm not sure how old you are but honestly there's no shame living with your parents if you must, plus you save money! Once you feel adjusted and stable in your current situation, maybe try thinking about what you want to do long-term (not that there's anything wrong if retail is your end goal you know, can always have shit going on on the side!), what steps you could take towards it education or otherwise. Working full-time can be really constricting depending on your shifts, but you can save money for whatever it is you want to pursue eventually and then possibly reduce your hours if you feel like you can't pile stuff on top of working full-time.
Or maybe try exploring new hobbies if you are at a loss for what you're into! You said you're into early 2000s nostalgia, any ideas how to build off of that maybe? Art/music/clothing you could develop or something? If you want to gain more confidence socialising first, maybe try looking around for volunteering opportunities, that's a good way to find other kinda-younger people when not in education with 0 commitment of seeing them ever again in case you feel like you flopped severely kek.
with regards to social skills you gotta start slow,I was so nervous when I first started working so I was pretty much a loner but by chance I started small conversations with some of co-workers who were all near my age range about MCU films and other normie stuff I knew about over time you start building up small social skills and developing the ability to talk to people
with regards to Dating and relationships I'm just as clueless about that as you are
No need to go in depth about your living situation until you get kinda serious, at which point if the guy finds that a deal breaker, bullet dodged and no big loss. For dates and such, you can do activities outside or go over to his.
And invest in a tripod! Maybe check out Ashley bestdressed on either yt or ig, near all her photos are tripod based and you can see what tricks she uses! (not her or an ad, just thought it was cool when I realised that lol)
Exactly, just try! Finding out it isn't for you >>>>>>>>>>>>>> not even giving it a fair shot and writing yourself off anyway.
Checked just to make sure I wasn't being misleading but she literally has a video titled "how I take instagram pics by myself", frankly was quite eye opening haha, thought all the ig girls employ their friends/boyfriends for picture taking. >>472585
Social media does make it worse doesn't it? Irl I pass for a normie quite well but when going on fb I literally feel like a lizard person in a very ill-fitting flesh suit, how do people just up and update their fb with the most inane shit for all the people from elementary school onwards to see is beyond me kek. Since you're a TA, maybe there are younger teachers or other TAs you can strike a convo with? Just some bland colleague stuff about how weather is getting colder and work sucks etc? Maybe watch a recent movie, like Joker and ask if they've seen it and what did they think? People love being asked about their thoughts and onions!
Thank you anon :) I wish there were more people my age here, though they'd probably think I was a loser too. I'm the youngest in the department by 25 years and the lowest ranking, so my colleagues don't really have time for me unless they're asking me to do something for them. I tried bonding with a sympathetic older guy in my department but he's gone chilly and I don't know why. Another one I thought we had some common ground in that we both have and love dogs, but he's been avoiding me. Maybe because he finds it awkward to talk to me. To be fair I panic so much when chatting that I say stupid things and don't make sense sometimes so I don't blame him.
I've started taking up extracurricular training in an attempt to meet others in other departments, but they've already grouped up and bonded with people in their own. We had group work and I was the only one who didn't have somebody to work with so I had to talk to the guy running the group.
High school all over again, man. I'm less discouraged by these things than I once was, but making future plans to move out and escape pseudo-neetdom seem so pointless because it's not worth making the effort if it's just for me. I feel so worthless haha I don't know where to go or how to get there. Sorry to ramble, it's just weighing heavily right now. I was on the verge of losing it last week but I'm trying to pull it back around.
Sorry to hear you struggle with social media too. You're right, it's mad how people can be so comfortable being open to so many people without fear. Is that what self esteem looks like? Just like… Being really publicly comfy with yourself?
That, and all the posts from people getting houses and getting married and having kids, really can be a punch in the gut.
Did you have friends before? Maybe you should try reconnecting with them.
Posting on social media isn't always a sign of self esteem. A lot of times people do it because they are insecure. I'm not really sure why you are so hung up over social media. Nobody cares if you post or not.
Sorry to hear about it not working out with the other teachers! I think it is kinda random luck when it comes to forming friendships with people much more senior than you, sometimes it works and it is so cool an other times it feels like you're 12 years old and trying to make small talk with your mom's colleague at a grocery store lol. Older men are easier to talk to in some aspects bc they either like younger women paying attention to them (and in their eyes all young women are 10/10) or they see you as their daughter/granddaughter, but their sympathies can kinda wax and vane as a result, older women are more stable in their sympathies I've observed (work with round 20 50+ folk).
Wrt your peers, honesty just try infiltrating their little extracurricular groups, may be awkward as fuck but like what do you have to lose, right? Talking to the dude running the thing is also good tho, I'd probably just clam up and go semi mute in your place, I usually fare well in academic group work settings but failing to find a partner is still so disorienting and alienating.
It definitely isn't pointless! For one, living on your own/own means is weirdly satisfying and really makes you feel like you did something kek, plus it could give you some confidence in being on the "right track" in life and thus give you more confidence overall! I still kinda rely on using other people as motivation (mostly just not dissapointing my mom kek), but my biggest motivation right now is that I don't want the rest of my life to be like this, my highschool was like this, uni rn has been like this, it is absolutely unbearable and I don't want the rest of my life continue the same way. Even if it possibly doesn't seem like it, it can always get worse and it would be a waste if it did, think about the progress/good things that have have happened in the last year or months, and focus on that. You're doing a PhD! Like how impressive is that! Go for a walk, have a nice lunch, listen to cringy music you like (Naruto ops always do it for me) etc etc, just regroup and keep on keeping on lol
God the marriage posts are the worst! Literally, earnestly and honestly do not want to get married but seeing my best friend from secondary school get married last month was some proper twilight zone shit, really makes you feel like a baby lagging 12 developmental milestones behind huh.
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I dropped out of hs 6 years ago because I was being molested and ever since I became a neet. This year I enrolled into community college though all my classes are online since I did it at the last minute. I'm mentally stunted, but I am glad I chose to break the cycle this year. I am becoming afraid of staying at home as I was raped by my own family member. It's not like I like being at home doing nothing. I feel terrible being alive, yet I want to work to be away from thinking about me. I'm so afraid of everything.
I've been a NEET most of my life.
>parents never put me in school for religious reasons, "homeschooled" us but didn't actually school us beyond basic reading/writing and some math, didn't socialize us or teach us anything valuable, are also hoarders
>parents try to randomly put me in highschool, I fail bc it's too hard for me not understanding any of the work and having crippling social anxiety
>get my GED at 19
>get my first job at 21
>take some college classes, fail most of them
>quit job after 2.5 years bc they were treating me like donkey shit and overworking me to the point I couldn't get schoolwork done
>dad wants me to get a degree but is also mad at me for quitting my job (pick one asshole)
>fail class anyway
>don't work for 9 months (tried to find a new job but no one would hire me)
>no references, hardly any experience, no skills, no education (besides GED), no social skills
>finally got a job at the beginning of august, but it was temporary and ended
>trying to get a job again, no luck
>no room in my house for anything bc of parents hoarding, serious mold problem in closet in my bedroom, can't sleep bc I have to keep my window uncovered (otherwise my room fills up with mold smell) so sunlight keeps me awake
>also parents are fucking loud 24/7, mom literally watches TV 24/7 can hear it from my room
>no shower, have to go to the gym to shower which is a pain in the ass, which makes keeping up hygiene hard, which effects my ability to keep a job
>dad continues to grill me for not having a job, but also wants me to get a degree, despite having done nothing my entire life that would help me accomplish either of those things (and still to this day does nothing that would help me, like fixing our shower or getting rid of the mold)
>no friends either, friendships are way too hard to manage for me
I'm pretty sure I'll be a NEET for the rest of my life. even if I do get a job it won't be enough to support me without living with my parents. I'm too dumb for university too. I'm seeing a therapist right now but it hasn't helped much.
you have to move out anon!!! your parents are toxic
and will never let you go anywhere in life,also considering you've had a number of jobs and education you are a way above a average NEET
I know and I really wanna move out, but I don't know how I'll ever do that bc I don't know how to get a job that will make me enough money to do that. my therapist keeps trying to get me to pursue a trade and I don't know if that's what I really want, but at this point it might be my only choice pretty much. I also feel this weird dependency on my parents? like even though I resent them and they're holding me back I feel like I need them.
I'm also too fugly for a sugar daddy so that's not an option for me either lol
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For everyone in this thread
Struggling ex-NEET here. I was a NEET for 3 years and finally broke free into semi-functioning-normie-hood a year ago. I work a 9-to-5 job which I enjoy, I like the people I work with and I'm generally good at convincing people I wasn't a total hermit weirdo for years of my life. But still, every weekend that rolls by, unless I have something social to do with my time, I revert back into the disgusting basement dweller I used to be: I'll sit watching netflix in my pajamas for two days straight eating crap, chain smoking, drinking and avoiding all human interaction. I guess 'normies' do that too sometimes but as I don't have many friends this is generally the majority of my weekends. As soon as Monday morning comes around it becomes a real struggle to get up. I contemplate calling in sick, or just quitting cold-turkey and reverting back to my old NEET lifestyle. It was the most boring 3 years of my life, and I dread every weekend I'm on my own, but I can't seem to snap out of it. I called in sick yesterday because for once I genuinely was, and today getting up was almost impossible, I got up with 10 minutes to spare before I needed to leave the house.
I hate how much of a struggle it is to do normal shit. I keep reminding myself I was bored out of my mind and I cannot afford anymore gaps in my resume, but I'm starting to look for reasons to quit my job and/or jump in front of a bus. I've gained 10lbs in the past month and I haven't been out with my friends since late August. Does it get any easier?
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So here's my .02 blog post.
I've never had or wanted a job beyond a few retail part time stints in high school. That was enough for me to realize that it's impossible for me to be happy in traditional employment.
I do about one freelance gig per month, which is enough to sustain my lifestyle traveling around the world and pursuing my creative hobbies.
I am "poor" by Western standards, a bit scruffy and maybe I eat a lot of rice instead of restaurants, but I am free. I don't have any demands on my time or emotional labor. I don't have to spend my time interacting with coworkers or staring at a computer screen generating money for someone else.
If you actually have motivation, goals, and the brains to scheme to achieve a lifestyle for yourself, being out of education, employment, or training is actually a blessing.
If your only hobby is watching Netflix, then of course you're depressed and squandering the gift of life and the human potential.
The difference between NEETs, entrepreneurs, and artists is all about mindset.
If there's a will, there's a way.
I'm pretty sure the vast majority of us just want stable employment,a group of small friends that have similar niche hobbies as us and a Understanding nice SO
I don't wanna travel the world and be entrepreneur/freelancer I just want to be a normie
Thanks anon. I'm sorry things went to shit for you. Best of luck getting back on track. >>473237
I mean I do for sure, I can't afford therapy and my doctor won't change my meds even though they don't help, he just ups and lowers the dose every few weeks. I feel like depression is kind of an entry-level requirement for being dumb enough to become a NEET.
At the very least it seems like they have things they're passionate about. Hell people can even be passionate about watching shows on netflix or whatever but really most NEETs are just killing time instead of doing the things they enjoy, which is why they hate it so much. Of course there's the money aspect but the truth of the matter is NEETs hate being by themselves, and don't have anything they enjoy. Why would they toil looking for work or friends if they are, at a baseline, not even happy?
Nobody truly enjoys wage slaving unless it's their dream job, I'd rather be like that anon instead of having to go to 9-5 every day
This is why modern capitalism sucks and should be replaced by a better system. What place does the money-making system have for people like you?
After you've been exploited sexually, you either get to literally pay for being traumatized by going to expensive therapy just in order to earn a living (read: buy products and contribute to the economy), or you remain a social pariah.
It just adds financial exploitation and labour exploitation to sexual exploitation.
FUCK THAT FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Are you for real?
The social system you live in is crucial for your entire course of life, big and small things included.
But don't listen to me, just imagine how different your life would be 100, 200, 1000 years ago. Or move to Saudi Arabia or China or something.
I still can't believe you're for real.
To answer your question:
I advocate we move on to something better than capitalism. Something that is less economy-oriented and more centered on people and the environment. We CAN do better than this.
To respond to your insult:
I've read the works of Marx, Engels, Trotsky… I've also read Adam Smith, Kaynes, Kotler… have you? You should.
To what are you defeatist and rude? To the idea of giving a sexually abused victim
a better environment.
Yeah I would you autist. Go be triggered
I literally can't believe I'm getting juvenile insults on a forum filled with women for criticising the way incest sexual abuse victims
are treated and suggesting we can do better.
What the actual fuck.
Communism is what condemned me to neetdom, you really don't know what a lack of opportunities and state enforced stagnation and oppression does to people and to mass psychology.
But not like it matters, obviously neet threads attract that kind of sperging and i guess some just want magical utopian faeries to swoop in with the gibs, but it would be best to keep it about our individual experiences rather than for political zealoting. It doesn't even matter where you live or your income, there's all sorts of people going trough neetdom for different reasons.
I'm literally the only one staying on the subject by criticising the system that gave birth to the concept of Neetdom.>>473596
Communism is not the only alternative to capitalism.
Have fun believing in your economic system which doesn't exist. It's like a magic sky fairy.>>473597
Your mom suffers from a personality disorder>>473588
You definitely seem like you have autism now
>>473615>Have fun believing in your economic system which doesn't exist. It's like a magic sky fairy.
You-hoo-hoo-hoo may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one…
Planes, computers, free negroes and working women, all thought to be impossible once.
But we did the impossible. And we'll do it again.
What kind of a retort is that?
Just ride a carriage instead of a plane. Just write and calculate by hand and communicate by post. Just serve you white master / husband instead of being independent.
Just don't question the status quo.
I am >>473331
I posted here because people want to boohoo about -society- and capitalism, when really the problem is themselves, and the course of actions they are taking with their one precious life on earth.
You can rage against the machine all you want, but you have to operate within the framework of the life you are given. >>473509
Nope lol, not a camgirl, I work as a freelance video editor. >>473459
Cost of living in Asia and
South America is much lower than the US. My only expenses are rent (300 USD) and food, which is as cheap as you want it to be. Cooking is fun. >>473385>>473514
I have tons of goals and plans in life that I'm actively pursuing, I'm just not going to blog post them because no1curr.
"A car or house or health insurance" aren't essential for life, it's only necessary if you design your life around the need of those things.
In fact, you can have more savings if you aren't obligated by these possessions. >>473369>>473510
Valuing stability over adventure or freedom is totally valid
dude. If it is your path to happiness, I wish you the best.
I'm from what used to be Yugoslavia. I'm also an oldfag. We thrived during communism, and I'll admit being nostalgic for it.
Communism didn't crumble because it was a bad system, but because we lost the Cold War. And by we, I mean Slavs. They tore all our lands into smaller, less threatening pieces. Since the victor writes the history, communism=bad, capitalism=good.
But that's not the truth, just propaganda. Truth is, both systems are flawed, and both have good sides. If people were not so irrational and confrontational, we'd easily nice away from these labels to forge something better than both.
But Yugoslavia was the only one in the commie block that had anything resembling a market economy and free market competition though. It wasn't the marxism that made You guys more successful than other neighbors in the axis who idn't escape the collectivization policies of Moscu, and what made Yugoslavian model different was the also git it antagonized by the soviets with purges , assasination attempts and all the works for not being commie enough.
This have gotten to off topic though.
Why is then Kenya not as successful as the US or Germany, after all they're all capitalist countries? Why is commie China more successful than capitalist Kenya? Come on dude.>>473640>market economy and free market competition
No, we didn't. I remember the opening of the market came as a shock to me. We were not an exception nor anomaly. We were proof it can work.
I got out of NEETdom by becoming a security officer. I got my boyfriend to become one as well. We couldn't take the manual labor jobs that paid like shit anymore, it tore us down. Too much demand, and we came home burnt out. Both of us would be unemployed for a few months in between jobs because of how much was expected out of us. Now we just are paid to watch cameras, drive a patrol vehicle around for a couple miles, and tell people where they need to go.
It feels good to have some energy when you're out of work. Seriously, definitely apply to see if you'd like it. My only advice is to avoid any hospital positions.
During training, you'll notice a lot of people in the field are former NEETs as well and then there's a couple of people who think they can be cops or are former cops, but they go off and do their own thing and are usually at armed sites, completely optional training but you do get paid more if you're into that.
Rarely do I have to work with another officer near me at all times, if someone gets too annoying, I usually just walk away and patrol somewhere else. The best part is I'm essentially still doing my job. As long as you're clocked in and your presence is known, you're good. You get to take breaks on your own time, too.
I am a soft spoken, socially anxious person, but this job really doesn't require much. Just do your patrols, which mainly requires walking, sitting, and observing. If anything bad happens, you're advised to just go ahead and call 911 instead of being the "hero".
I get paid $13 an hour doing this shit, unarmed, where minimum wage is just above $8. It's so freeing, anons. 4 years doing this common sense shit and I'm almost eligible to apply for higher paying positions, like field supervisor, where all you're doing is driving site to site and checking up on if they need anything, like office supplies, car stuff, uniforms. You're basically just going around collecting info to relay to the main office. I am pretty sure they get paid $18+ for this.
I love it.
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I just don’t think I’m made out to survive in the American economy. They require too much extroversion and aggressive personality and workaholic values… I’ve had such terrible experience with 9 to 5 employment.
I’m daydreaming about going back to live in my third world country to teach English and do niche otaku crafts to get by. My family is neither poor or rich by third world standard so I wouldn’t struggle to eat or anything. Local tourism is cheap and there’s always fresh sea food. I want to just live with some very close female friends and we can go to the beach whenever we want.
My family would never allow this of course, unless it is to marry some chauvinist salary man.
Because you can't compare any african country to a european one, they have completely different conditions to begin with. Germany is the perfect proof, you're just too blind to see (or too proud to admit you're wrong): same country, same people, yet completely different outcome.
Also, your definition of "successful" probably defers from ours: China itself might be rich, but nevertheless there are still millions living in extreme poverty. Not even taking into account factors like their pretty much non-existent happiness… Money isn't everything, quality of life is also essential.
I also don't like the US, but people unironically shilling communism in 2019 are either trolling or absolutely braindead.
Take off the rose-tinted glasses.
As someone who’s also been ghosted by psychiatrists, knock that fuckers door down. Figure out where they went (one of mine up and retired out of the blue and left the country lol). Figure out a new psychiatrist if you can, otherwise call every other social service out there to find the resources that psychiatrist said was out there.
Having an Etsy, being creative, and self employment sounds lovely but get your health together before anything imo.
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yeah I look at my parents who have both worked physically taxing jobs since they were teenagers and have all sorts of aches and pains. my mum works herself into the ground sometimes until she makes herself ill. they both work so hard and make little more than minimum wage. I look at them and it doesn't inspire me to join the workforce (beyond the few hours I do anyway)
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nta, i'm just sad because thats also true for where i live, on paper it has so much going for it but in reality it is also the murder and crime capital of the world. The beach is only 30 min away from me and yet i haven't gone in like 6 years, i am scared to leave my house even to go to the corner, and after 6 pm everything is closed and it is a ghost town. Feels bad man.
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>fucked up at school through truancy and beginnings of an anxiety disorder, was barely there. left at 16 just scraping 3 GCSE passes
>wanted to go to college to retake my gcses or do art or media or fucking anything to be with my friends
>anxiety disorder with panic attacks made that impossible for me
>went to a centre 2x a week on a scheme called 'entry to employment'. spent my time with around 4 boys who were there for petty crimes. didn't belong there one bit. used to cry thinking of my friends at college while I was there lol. would go to the job centre occasionally while there but mostly we did jack
>took GCSE maths and an IT course with learn direct (any UK anons remember that?) once I left there
>NEET for real from 17-19
>first job as an admin assistant at 19. lasted mere months. too stressful
>NEET again from 19-21
>21-29 soul destroying cleaning jobs with bouts of NEETdom but at least I don't see many people and can get on with my work while listening to music/audiobooks. only work 4 hours a week in the early mornings sometimes late evenings. I earn around £32 a week lmao
I live with my parents and they're really supportive of me thankfully. I'm very lucky. my anxiety has been very bad in the past, with severe depression and feeling suicidal too. I have no friends and only really leave the house to go shopping and to work. I want to stop doing cleaning jobs and do something new but it scares the crap out of me. I worry I wont be able to cope or that my anxiety/depression will take hold of me again. I'm fast approaching 30 though and want to try something new, I can't stay this way forever.
Ugh, this one hit close to home for me. Only I'm even older, I'm 34. I recently applied for a couple of jobs at a grocery store, but I dunno if I'll even get hired, considering my lack of experience and education.
Maybe you could apply for disability due to your chronic illness. I'm sorry you're having such a shit time dude, I understand though. It might sound stupid, but some sort of therapy might help? I had to be upped on my meds, and it's helped me. I dunno if you can afford that though, or if there are any alternatives to where you can get therapy on a sliding scale/for free.
As for friends, it may not seem like much, but you can always rant to us on here.
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You live at mom's with your boyfriend, whom I presume give you an allowance for your weed and candy since you didn't mention ever having to go to work.
You have access to a car and the ability to drive it.
You have tons of time.
You mother tolerates this kind of lifestyle.
Yes you have an incredibly charmed life that you are squandering because you're unmotivated and too cozy with routine.
Why not research some activities or low cost hobbies you could do in between naps and munchy runs? It's not like weed dulls inspiration and imagination.
I agree with other anons that you are making yourself depressed. You feel no purpose because you're not assigning any to your life.
what do you want your life to look like? since you use the word depression it suggests you want something to change in which case I'm sorry but you gotta cut down on the weed. If you have the luxury of not having to work then what about studying something, doesn't have to be a full on full time degree, could just be part time or evening classes in something fun like art or creative writing. or a part time low stress job or volunteer work or anything
you can either go about it by changing one thing at a time or you can do something drastic like apply for a course or a ob that would force you to move out and change everything all at once. but yeah start by thinking about what you would like your days to look like.
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I finally got a really great job, the whole team are absolutely hilarious, and our training consists of parties and playing board games. I finally feel like I have a job where I don't feel lonely for once.
I'm also applying for university, fortunately my partner and his mom are really smart people and can help me with the whole process. I'm planning to get in with a test though, but there's a lot of math, and I am hopeless at math. I hope I do well though.
First off, thank you for not being disgusted with me.
My bf gets money either thru working or thru his parents.
I cry evey day bevause my family split up a million years ago because my dad came out of the closet. Then he left the country for a decade. Before thay, he wasn't super keen on me anyway. My mom, who was once a soft place to land, turned to the bottle. My home life went from secure, to cold and desolate in the course of 3 years. Then I dropped all my friends. This is around freshman year of hs. I was bullied by one of my siblings growing up and as a result I was nkt o ly super critical of ,yself, but also of my peeers, and when I feemed them "lame," I dropped them. Then I stopped going to school. I can't really remember what the fuck my parents were doing at tbis point, and idk why they didn't guide me and help me. I eventually graduated by independent study. This whole time I am hanging out with stoners and kids drinking way too much way too often. My home life is the same - my mom let us drink at the house so sometimes my friends would be there without me present. My older sibling latched onto my friends (not really close friends, but the people I would get fucked up with at that point in time. Thinking back on it, none of them liked me anyways and zi didn't like them.) and as I isolated in my room, they created bonds. My mom was working and everything, but since the divorce she made friends with an ex's bar-hopping whore of a mother and that became my mom's past time. And mine became knocking hard on our shared wall when she would bring a one night stand home and loudly have sex. One time she hit me all over my head because I spoke up to her. Meanwhile before my dad left the country he's dating a man that's only a handful of years older than me, his youngest child. Now that he's gone, he's with a man who is even younger than me.
I'm drinking so mush at this point that idk how I'm alive today. I went to the hospital once when I couldn't stop throwing up. I was 18. I remember being surprised at how much the nurses gave a shit that someone well below the drinking age could end up like this.
Anyways no one asked for this but I feel compelled to get it out.
I guess my point is that I have never accomplished anything, I went to college on and off for like 2 semesters. I couldn't ealk to my classed without feeling like everyone was looking and hating me. So I stopped. No one cared enough to step in, so off I went. I truly thought I could fuck off school, my only responsibility, and I would be okay. Now I'm an empty shell of a woman who has 0 responsibilities and 0 accomplishments.
I wish I could explain what this cycle feels like. Being sucked back into my bed and letting another day pass. I feel like I'm in the middle of a bomb exploding or something and all I can really do is white knuckle it and cover my ears. No resources to spend on unctioning outside my front door.
My only shining baby step is that I started exercising for 30 mins a day, on most days,for about a year now. It's my bf's car that we drive around, and he is starting a new job after next week. I think once he gets his schedule locked down I will try a class, or even driving somewhere like the library, on my own. Then maybe I'll do a class of some kind. I would ultimately like to work a simple office job or something. I feel like a job is the end-all-be-all here and I will feel so much more valuable and less embarrassed if I have one.
This has got to be all over the place. I'm sorry for not proofreading. Also I'm sure there are a gazillion typos. Sorry. I'm poor bc I'm too useless and self indulgent to get a job despite my pain even thougbph every single other person has to and somehow does.
Idk how I got so lucky. He listens to me and loves the shit out of me. He doesn't think I'm a piece of shit and he's all the warmth that my parents don't have.
But eveyone focuses on what they don't have, I'm envious of anons in here who go to college and have pools of "normal" life experience…
I cry all the time when I see children and innocent, cute things. I went to a state fair and I couldn't handle the wholesomeness and I broke down crying. I had to explain that to my mom and sibling and niece who were there with me. I feel like an insane person. I know everyone carries pain, and a lot of ppl went thru way more fucked up ahit than me. So why can't I function???
master's degree lol, i wish i was in that kind of relationship>>472710
hey anon i know this is a late response but i just wanted to thank you for replying. i've been thinking about what you said all week, and it's carried me through. have been less upset when things go wrong or when social shit goes badly. less sad about my teacher friend ditching me, too. you're a good egg.
i hope you are doing ok?
Aw anon, I'm glad my kinda lame advice has been useful! And that you have had a decent week! It kinda felt like we're in similar set ups (well, I'm just an undergrad but still) so I wanted to like let you know you aren't alone and others understand even tho I'm not the best at advising. Also if your teacher friend doesn't want your surely delightful company, it is his loss and your dog is probably cuter than his anyway!
I managed to attend all my classes and properly focus instead of zoning out, but then I kinda fucked up by not going to a workshop as I got there bit late and couldn't gather myself to enter the room alone and all. Had quality socialisation time at work however as my fav manager was on, he's like a funny yet very dysfunctional father to me kek.
Like I know the key is zoning out just a bit and understanding that no one ever notices you're that awkward/weird/etc, when I'm in a good mindspace it works and I'm golden, but then some other days (like workshop Wednesday) I feel like crying if someone looks at me lol. Hope the next week is good to both of us!
lol my life is fine, not tragic. But I have to go to uni and I'm single so it makes my life unequivocally worse off than hers. Understand?
As for something contributing to the thread, I was kind of in a semi-NEET rut (took time at uni and worked only part time with an easy job) and what cured me was going WWOFing in South America.
Realistically if you don't plan on having kids but still want a breadwinner husband to foot all bills while you go through life never getting a job: this dynamic will breed resentment and put too much stress on one person's shoulders. Eventually arguments will turn into you being reminded that you contribute nothing.
And it leaves you really vulnerable , if you break up what happens to you, where do you live post break up when you have no income or job skills of your own? You can't rely on that as a stable life plan. Relationships end all the time, marriages too
Last year I faced homelessness when my seemingly perfect long term relationship ended, I realised that years of depending on a guys income (at his insistence) had chipped away at my self esteem. Independence is worth the hard work
>>474763>Eventually arguments will turn into you being reminded that you contribute nothing.
Even when she IS a SAHM there's a good chance she will get this treatment, men legitimately do not think of child rearing as anywhere near as much work as his 9-5. And they commend women for being housewives right up until it suits him to hold his earning power and tangible contributions over his wife's head.
But frankly if there's no kids involved, it's not a good look to be a stay at home partner. Just because someone is willing to finance your NEEThood doesn't mean you should accept it, they are either pathetic or have ill intent. No normal person would want to fully support another adult like that.
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we're all gonna make it
Don't know when this turned into a pro-NEET thread where posters think it's cool to swap living off your parents for living off a bf (or desperately wishing for a rich bf lol) The whole point of this thread is to get out of NEETdom >>474805
Making good progress anon. Keep on top of dental care! A decade after leaving my NEETdom phase I'm just about finished dealing with dental appointments to fix all the neglect, been expensive
Have the iron supplements helped with fatigue?
nta but I didn't asked to be born and while I love my mom, I don't have to like my parents or thank them for bringing me onto this planet which I really wish they didn't. Retarded People like you that make such stupid points are so annoying.
t. not a NEET
Yes! I'm wide awake all day. Even in the morning. Feels like I have superpowers.
I definietly don't think it's cool. I posted about more than my bf, anons just took that and ran with it. A literal troll post after my effortpost abt my life. I want to talk to ppl about how they overcame pain, or how they do it daily, in order to function. Everyone must do this. Why can't I?>>474802
You weren't responding to me (bf NEET you're angry at) in this, but I agree with your feelings.>>474775>No normal person would want to fully support another adult like that.
Really? In this whole wide world, you think there are NO people willing to suffer working so their loved one(s) don't have to?>>474638
I understand what you mean. I probably would.>>474657
Thanks. I think about the high-and-dry thing often. I guess I accepted that if that happens, I'll be forced to get a job. It happened to people close to me before and that's how it goes. I guess I'll deal with that if and when it happens. >>474752
I've been trying to understand your comment for a while now. Are you being sarcastic, or do you mean your life is "worse off" bc you have to work for a living?
How did you go to South Africa? I often daydream about going to a halfway house but for NEETS.
Like exactly what they have for drug addicts, with the rigid routine and slow integration into the workforce/society. As if I couldn't get any more pathetic. Or one of those ranch programs where you work your ass off in order to not be a directionless piece of shit. >>474759
I understand whay you're saying about resentment. I'll keep it in mind. >>474763
Because he wants to. Idk what else to tell you guys. He is okay with making the money.
What if I told you guys that he does like the idea of me being at home? And that I like the idea of being protected? Am I not allowed to feel this way? Can we explore this without hurling insults at each other? May as well throw in that we don't want kids.>>47481>>47488
These are not me btw>>474783
I'm not powerless. Not every man is a creep.
I somehow didn't anticipate anons latching onto my boyfriend. I should've known better. Where do I go from here? I came in here to lay out my life story for some reason. I think I wanted pity from others after posting about my family. Pity and gentle help. LOL I hate myself
uk anon so perhaps not the answer you're looking for, basically you only have to pay back loans once you earn over £21,000 and the payments are taken off your income before it gets to you, like income tax is in this country. you only pay back something stupid like 10% of anything you earn over £21,000 so it's manageable. also the debt doesn't affect your credit history or getting a mortgage or whatever. so as financial commitments go it was actually an option to get some kind of a life without working and mooching off parents.
as for knowing higher ed is important, well my granddad was called to study at oxford back in the days when they had to pay you to attend. he was a poor immigrant in the black country and his mother worked two jobs to get him elocution lessons and better his chances of social mobility. going to oxford changed his entire life trajectory - if he hadn't had that chance he'd probably have been sent down the pit for forty odd years. so it's always been really important in our family. i think most kids in the uk go on to higher ed though because of degree inflation. a bachelors is the minimum here now if you want a job that's not retail.
Ah yeah, I should've specified USA anons.
Thanks for the reply– the importance your family put on university was enlightening.
My father wanted us all to be good little students like he was, but literally put no effort into educating us on the importance of college, pushing us into the right programs and directions, etc, much less how to pay for something like that, or god forbid, contributing himself to a fund. Then he gets disgusted with his loser American children and fucks off to China where everyone is an amazing scholar, and worth his time. I'm bitter as fuck that two people as intelligent as my parents didn't guide someone as intelligent as I am into secondary education. How do I stop being this pathetic? I wish I wanted to go to school. I don't.
Years ago I was struggling with a disability that would affect me more some days than others. I had an arrangement of cleaning and cooking for me and my partner (and his son at weekends) while he worked, even on painful days I kept up with it and everyone was happy
Two years in when the honeymoon period ended and naturally you go from having sex twice a day to 2/3 times a week he starts arguing with me and telling me that I -contribute nothing- We already split other bills from the beginning but he demanded that I start paying half of the rent immediately. As someone on a small disability payment he knew this was impossible. Looking back he was only happy when he was getting sex every single day. Fucked me up when I realised that despite me cleaning, cooking and splitting other bills; I was -fucking for rent- in his eyes
I now own my own house and work from home, the independence feels amazing!
That's terrible. How can someone be so callous? You really didn't realize he was a piece of shit before moving in with him and assuming care of his son (on the weekends)? And it didn't tip you off when he would allow you to do all the cooking while in pain?
I'm glad you got out of that shitshow anon.
He seemed great for two years, we had one fight when I had a painful couple of days and he came home to a dirty apartment but apart from that he seemed kind, generous, on the weekends we'd often eat out somewhere and he'd pay for the 3 of us
Shows how men can suddenly change if they're not getting the exact amount of sex they want. I don't want to feel like turning down sex will cost me the roof over my head. Glad to be paying my way now!
If it helps to hear anon I was housebound with agoraphobia for years, I know it feels like a 'forever thing' at the time but you can slowly expand your comfort zone and start to go out little by little
It helps to have meds to take the edge off the anxiety and a family member to (quite literally) hold your hand in the beginning
how old are you anon? I have a (male) friend in a similar situation who hadn't left the house in six years or so, like >>474922
said he took it in baby steps and has a part time job now, goes to therapy and feels a lot more positive. do you have a lot of online friends?
these next upcoming months where i'll be going out to see doctors and whatnot is both stressing and scaring me, but also feels kind of good? i'm hoping something good comes out from all this>>474931
i just turned 24 recently. up until recently, i had a small group of online friends but not anymore. i have trouble being social. i don't know what it is, i am very introverted i know that but keeping up with people and being social is always exhausting to me. i mean, i know it's my mental health that is doing this, but i can go days, weeks, not talking to anyone and i like that. i don't miss talking to people, i like being alone :/
>>474894>LOL I hate myself
No, you don't. You clearly seem to believe that you're deserving of not having to move a finger while your bf totally loves to suffer working for you. Why do you need to be cared for? You're a grown-ass woman. What do you need to be protected from? The world outside is not as scary as you think. If you don't change that attitude you will never get better. Your bf is probably still putting up with you now while hoping you're bettering yourself but deep down you both know that this is just unfair and impossible to last.
Reading through this thread made me realize that most neets are not poor mentally ill souls but lazy and entitled womanchildren trying to come up with excuses to somehow justify that "lifestyle".
I know there's dread coming up to facing things like seeing a doctor or other appointments but I always remember experiencing real highs from achieving those things, from an agoraphobics perspective attending a doctors appt is like conquering mount everest.. if there's any silver lining to the situation it's the happiness that comes with those successes
You might always have something like social anxiety but exposure therapy really tackles agoraphobia
Ah sorry. ITAYRT I had this exact thought about my multiple posts itt. So stupid. I am self-obsessed. Idk which posts of yours I quoted, otherwise I would clarify. Even though really, what's the fucking point.>>474937
I don't feel entitled to him working to support me. But I'll accept because you're right- I'm terrified of the outside world.
This has been exactly what I knew it would be. Humiliating. I knew that before I posted and I still did it.
I need therapy. I'm going to focus on my baby step for now and make sure to get up with intention, and to do my bike exercises and eat breakfast. I'm going to also make the steps towards getting back into therapy.
I think some of you NEETs have it better than you think. I feel like I can't be a NEET because I'm too deficient in some ways. I really NEED to travel and see people or otherwise I feel really bad. If you're fine with your situation and don't need to see people, I don't see what's so bad. >>474899
Just curious, how do you work from home?>>474894
Go to wwoof.net or workaway.info. Then buy a plane ticket and go there. You will have a lot of work to do. It doesn't seem like you're ready yet.
nah, they clearly are, from both this thread and the stupid questions thread. being concerned for these women is one thing, but it clearly goes beyond that with the way these posts are phrased. making men who volunteer to support their gfs (usually) because they want control over women out to be "uwu victims
neet women", etc. it's laughable.
i dont think those men are wonderful. have never said it, i wouldnt want to put my faith in them, i have no bf and i'm not neet, but the women complaining about neets living off their bfs for being "leeches sucking off these bepenised saints until they snap uwu" is clearly just salty bullshit. most men who do this aren't angelic saviors. they're often manipulators. i wouldn't recommend women be reliant on men precisely bc of that reason and that critique is valid
, but i don't think neet anons are vampiric soulsuckers with nothing to offer anyone.
Some of you NEET anons are pretty sad. It's really pitiable. But why do I get the feeling that you guys drag others for random shit on other threads?>>475010
No one ever said that people who finance NEETs are abused. Where the fuck did you get that?>>475019
To each their own, so I guess some guys would like a NEET girlfriend. But it's frustrating that in this so-called age of feminism a lot of guys don't care about their gf having a career at all to the point they don't care if their gf has any kind of job or not.
I’m younger than everyone here, I’m 18 and pretty much ever since HS graduation earlier this year i’ve been living a pretty NEET lifestyle. I didn’t have many friends back in school, and now I only really have my online friends. I have college classes once a week at night, but other than that I just stay home. I had existing issues with my mental health that have gone untreated for years and I feel like being so alone just exacerbated them. I used to go out a lot to concerts and such, but i had a realization at one that everyone around me was having a good time around me, but i wasn’t.. so I left early. It’s really messed with me having that so I’ve avoided the 4 other concerts I had tickets for out of the feet that I would have another breakdown like that. I’m slowly trying to build up the… confidence? to finally get help for my issues with depression and such, and in the mean time I’m saving up for a guitar to be a new hobby since my old one of going to concerts has been ruined for me, kind of. I can’t really help my college situation, and the student body isn’t really my age group, so I’m just trying to hope i can throw myself into a self sufficient hobby. will help. My parents wouldn’t ever let me go full NEET, it’s either go to college or get a job in order to keep living with them, but being so solitary has exacerbated my issues so now I just feel like I’m just trying to make myself feel better until i can finally get professional help. Over the past few months since grad i’ve just been feeling so intensely suicidal and thinking about self harm for the first time in years, so I’m just a tad scared about that.
I'm not shitting on NEETs. I feel sorry for them. I don't understand how people can live like this. I do shit on NEETs who think they have the right to drag people.
Or maybe I can. I had periods where I was semi NEET. (In uni but missing class and failing classes/working part time)
Here's what helped me to my currently busy life:>Did yoga
I didn't do much but I tried to do some every week. I should do it more often now>Worked on an organic farm
It showed me how important being active and social was>Got a new best friend
My old best friend was not very supportive. I got a new best friend after reconnecting with an old friend and being roommates. Honestly this is what helps me the most and made the transition back to uni so much easier. >Got on ADHD medicine
I'm diagnosed with ADHD but adderall is just so helpful in general, imo. It really helps with the tests/projects that I couldn't deal with before. It also makes you feel so much more confident
Is this helpful or not enough?
The thing about being a NEET and taking baby steps is that it feels like being acutely confronted with your inadequacy. Personally, I feel humiliated when I'm to focus on doing one simple task for my whole day, week, month. It's easy to give up based on those embarrassing feelings. Not only is it sobering in that regard, but it's actually difficult
to pull off. It's kind of ironic that one has to take baby steps in order to build themselves up into a functioning adult.>>475186
How did you get a job/volunteer opportunity at the farm? What kinds of things did you do? That sounds really cool.
Thank you so much for your encouragement! I'm on the bike again rn. I felt so much better yesterday just bc I decided to commit myself to recovery from this lifestyle. Now, just to keep going when that positivity inevitably blows away. I like what another anon suggested which was to "put your brain on autopilot" when you have to do something but your brain is throwing a tantrum. It's very basic and even obvious advice, but for some reason the way she worded it has stuck with me.
Onto a shower and cooking a big breakfast for me and my partner.
>>475280>How did you get a job/volunteer opportunity at the farm? What kinds of things did you do? That sounds really cool.
I applied in the farm's website.
My duties were doing basic work around the farm for a couple of hours a day including cleaning. I was sick when I first got there, and I think the owner got kind of pissed that I wasn't doing much. However, it was winter and there wasn't that much to do.
Just google WWOFing or communes. I don't think you have to be qualified.
Thanks! It was only me! Sorry for being annoying but I'm using this thread for motivation dammit!
I'm biking again today. I had a rough day yesterday but I'm on the bike today. And I will go inside, eat breakfast, and take a shower. Because that's my focus. I'm exploring what it feels like to have a bad day emotionally and not
give up because of it. >>476642
It'll be okay anon. Let someone in.
ITAYRT and that sounds cool. I was initally turned off when you(? It may have been another anon) said it costs money, but it's not very much money. I live in a busy city with lots of farms, I may be able to find a free program yet. It's cool to speak to someone who already did it so thanks for the reply.>>476772
You're missing the whole point from the neet's perspective, but yeah it must be nice for those farms to get the free labor and any tax writeoffs that come with participation in such a program. Oh well, you can take what you need from it if you're the type of person who would benefit from this type of work.
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I dropped out of college for the second time two years ago and was a neet for a full year before getting a task job at a beauty store, but even then I still pretty much lived like a neet cause I only got 8 hours a week. After 6 months I finally got a second part time retail job and was working over 30 hours a week and it was really difficult, socially a lot more challenging and I was screamed at/criticized by customers constantly and after the first few months we got a new manager who I was really incompatible with, she constantly misunderstood what I was trying to say and gave me conflicting instructions and I had a massive mental breakdown and quit on the spot after working there for 3 months. Since then I moved to my boyfriend's house to work on a project for his family and while I'm technically working doing art and design and occasionally traveling for the project, I still feel like a neet cause there's no clear structure, no w2 and I feel like this will be unusual job experience and not very useful to making myself a productive member of society the way an actual job could. Now I'm just relying on him and his family instead of my own. They insist it's no problem and I'm being useful but I'm making no progress towards my goals of being able to drive and rent an apartment. I wish I could have handled wagie life or college but I just can't manage any steps I know I need to take to improve my life and interest keeps piling up on my student loans and everything about it just sucks.
recovery is a great way to put it! and it is true, changing the language surrounding the journey to your new and improved quality of life to be more positive makes all the difference. being a NEET shouldn't have such a "bad" perspective towards it, like other anons have expressed, majority of us became comfortable with the NEET lifestyle because it felt like it was the only way to feel safe, sometimes after a few bad experiences in the job world or just school being a drag.
after a while, we do realize, "maybe it's not so bad out there, but i don't know where to start exactly… or what's the safest way to approach this."
you got this, anons! there's tons of us former NEETs who want to you recover and we can help support your bravery.
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I have stopped being a NEET, after years of staying cooped up in my room. However, I truly do miss it.
I didn't mind being alone in my room, just reading shit on the internet and playing single-player games. Now I go to college(I enjoy what I'm being taught), get good grades and have a set of friends, but I get no enjoyment out of socialising with them. Even playing video games with them makes me annoyed, and I know it's not their fault.
I'm starting to think that human connections just aren't for me, even if I act welcoming and try to include others in conversations when I see them being left out.
My goal for now is to finish college so that I can land a comfy job/possibly become a webdev freelancer in the meantime, just to help my mother with the bills.
Thank you so much for your support. It makes a world of difference even to have anonymous support. Such a nice thing of you to do and I want to tell you how much it means to me!
I'm biking rn. I was going to take off today, but I think it's more important that I stick to the schedule. I'm not doing a grueling workout by any means.
Other things I'm doing with great intention:
-Taking multivitamin daily
-Taking allergy meds daily for the first time ever
-Planning other small routines such as cooking breakfast on Saturday mornings bc it's cozy and makes everyone feel good
-going to a social event bc I know it'll make me feel better even though I'm scared. I'll keep in mind the "autopilot" thing another anon suggested.
It sounds like a lot of stuff to do but really after bike+breakfast+shower I do usual neet things such as lying in bed for hours and smoking weed all day. Baby steps. Be intentionally basic.
>>473687>people unironically shilling communism in 2019 are either trolling or absolutely braindead.
I was saying thar communism was good for it's time. But both communism and capitalism have no place in 2019. They're both corpses of ideologies. Both rely on labour as the driving force, which is ridiculous in this age of smart machines. We need something fresh that takes into account the mindblowing technological advancements that occurred since both of these ideologies were formed. Hence I posted the critique of labour-oriented economy here >>472242
I also recommend reading "Player Piano" by Kurt Vonnegut. Maybe fiction will better drive my point across than a philosophical essay.
do you have a hobby? I'm not trying to be patronizing but as an adult i find it is really hard to make friends outside of work/activities. Even just a little bit of social stimulation from a group helps work on those skills.
when I was lonely in college I joined a foraging club and honestly nobody in the club and I became very close but working together to find stuff and just chatting was nice. kind of like renting friends. I pick activities I can skip without guilt though like clubs or community classes. I find if I feel guilty for skipping (like if i'm paying for it) I avoid it altogether because I get overwhelmed.
Ok rude question here, but how can you follow properly lectures/classes if you're deaf? This is a general question btw.
And you should take your vitamin D (I assume you already do this) and pack yourself really good with clothes if you want to avoid getting winter's depression.
Consider yourself highly privileged for being able to work at your step-dad's company tbh, because you're not really a NEET if you're employed btw.
nta but probably yes, you're right.
Housewives are even worse because they pretend to do something. lol
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Reading things like this make me question why I'm even alive.
Do you know this situation, when you got asked (in school or at interviews) to name x good things about yourself but you genuinely can't come up with anything? There's not a single positive or even just ok trait about me, not the way I look, not anything about my personality, not anything regarding talent or skills. Absolutely everything about me is less than mediocre.
lol you sound like me a couple of years ago. However, now I feel way different about myself. Just because you feel like you aren't good at anything doesn't mean it's necessarily true.
Also remember most people in this world aren't particularly good at anything and they do just fine. There are plenty of below average people.
But it's not just that I feel
like I'm not good, I know
it, it's a fact. I'm not doing fine, I'm failing at everything.
I am so close to being a neet. I've been in university for like 5 years, I was supposed to graduate in 2018 but here I am, not graduating until 2021, if I can make it through my second attempt of the second year. I have an assignment that is worth 15% of my final grade that isn't getting done.
My parents forced me to go to university and I was lead to believe that I would enjoy it more than secondary school, I would meet people who understand me, I would learn to become a better person of myself. I never wanted to go to university to begin with, but I have no balls to just move out of my parents house and struggle with a minimum wage job, potentially having to share a house with a bunch of strangers who will likely stress me out even more.
To add to that, I lied that I was going onto the the final year of uni, when in fact, I have to repeat two modules of the second year. I'm supposed to be moving abroad in April, but now I'm trapped in a lie that I have been stuck in for months all because I wanted to get them off my back. not that it helped because every interaction I have with them is them stressing me out about how I can't fuck up my final year or they will beat me.
I've been dealing with depression since I was 13-14. I've had some counselling and I am currently going through cbt that I don't feel like is helping me.
My problem is that I have spent much of my life feeling horribly lonely and struggled to form relationships with anybody. I've never had any friends beyond being 11 and I am a complete social failure. I can't fathom the idea of anybody thinking I am a worthwhile person or anybody would want to talk to me. I have constantly had people make fun of me for being socially awkward and ugly, things I already believed about myself to be negative without anybody telling me anything.
I have never been able to relate with anybody, or trust anybody with my feelings. I avoid social situations as much as I can because it stresses me out so much to be presenting such a disgusting and vile representation of myself to the world. I person I would like to be is nothing like myself, and is proven to be unattainable since it would require me to completely change my personality and get a crap ton of plastic surgery to achieve it. I have trouble accepting myself and being comfortable in my skin and it has completely ruined my life.
I want from being a student who got really good grades to some retard who can't even focus in lectures, be punctual, look after my appearance. I'm just an irredeemable piece of shit that's too pussy to end everything.
I know nobody will read this, but I just wanted to express myself since I have so few chances to do so.
I'm in the same sitation, anon. I take way too long to graduate (that is if I don't fail completely), I had very high hopes for university life and was more than just disappointed. I often think of just running away and working some simple, stress-free minimum wage job for the rest of my life.
I also don't have friends and I don't think that will change anytime soon, people are simply majorly put off by me for some reason. And due to my previous experiences I'm also always paranoid about people laughing about me.
I've read this quite often already on lc, that some farmers were really good students when they were younger and then just fail? No idea why, but just the thought of having to study or do shit makes me feel sad, I have zero motivation to do anything but eat and be online. Feels like I've wasted me entire youth.
I'm sorry that I can't give you any advice. I've tried to get better for years already but it only got worse and worse.
this sucks and I'm sorry you're both in this situation. university shouldn't be for everyone and there should be no shame at all in choosing not to go, or in choosing to wait and go in later life if your feelings change.
is there something you'd like to do better, like a training course or apprenticeship or something?
there's no shame in dropping out of something you hate to do something you want to do.
Now blame yourselves for being in that situation. Blame it on mental illness. Blame it on circumstance.
Just don't blame it on capitalism, because… stuff. If you question capitalism you must be a commie, and everybody hates commies. You're not a dirty commie, right? So capitalism rocks, and if your position in it sucks, it must be your fault, not capitalism's, right? Right. Everything is a-ok except you.
Now get yourself together and go make profit for some people you'll never meet while ruining our eco-system. That's the only way to earn a living and gain the respect of your parents and peers.
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How do you find motivation be vaguely normie after living the NEET life for so long? It's been years and I still have zero desire for anything other than staying at home. Working is just something I do to get a weekend alone where I can do nothing. It's only gotten worse and I miss being alone more every day.
NTAYRT but>>480802>How do you find motivation… It's been years and I still have zero desire for anything other than staying at home
&>It just makes life feel unfulfilling… There's nothing to look forward to except going home and being alone
Sound like conflicting statements.
It sounds like you've found motivation to be a normie/social– the desire to mitigate the emptiness you're feeling.
Unless I'm misunderstanding your posts! It also seems like you might be asking how to cope with the fact that you have to work/be social for most of your week in order to earn time alone.
Are you cool with being alone or no?
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currently missing my neet life
my insomnia is back too
starting to dread my job every day despite it being a job i always wanted to do
thinking of quitting
my mental went boom lmao hoping this shit ends soon and i sort myself out
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Out of all my neet treats, pic related is my worst, I also can't keep any studies, I'm not good with people.
Any form of knowing if my psychologist is scamming me?
He said I should get medicated but didn't mention what I have. It's my 6th setion so far and all he said is that I'm under too much pain to even take the bus and that I need something to ease my thoughts.
>Inb4 why don't ask directly?
I'm not good with people
psicologists cant medicate people though, in that case you would be refered to a psychiatrist and he/she is the one who will asses you.
How do you know if you are not being wrongfully medicated or scammed by the psychiatrist? ah, thats the more difficult question, you have to inestigate very well each prescription you are given, if for example you are prescribed Xanax for more than a few days, get the fuck out. That actually happened to me once, shrink lied about the alprazolam and prescribed it to me for indefinite amount of time, luckily i didn´t follow through after researching, otherwise i would have been made a junkie by my fucking doctor.
Big thanks, that is my biggest fear (to get a bad prescription). Yes he mentioned to ask a college classmate about me, a psychiatrist.
The inb4 was a mistake, I redid my comment and forgot to erase that. The inb4 was "why don't you directly ask what he thinks you have to prescribe you something?"
Its very tricky when so much of psychiatry truly is shooting in the dark and hoping to hit something. It is not as developed as other sciences and it involves trial and error to find the best dosages, best treatments for your case. Educate yourself pretty well and it should be okay.
In the case of Xanax (alprazolam) like i said, be careful, shit is dangerous, it is a highly addictive depressor that changes your brain chemistry and becomes addictive super fast, the drug makes you feel like shit but the withdrawals from not taking it can literally even kill you. I was not only prescibed those for way longer than it needed to be but the dosage was super high too, scary stuff.
I know this is a joke but that shit was and still is wild to me. It feels
different. Life is so much richer. I can pull my head out of my ass and notice the world around me! Frontal lobe development: 11/10 would do again. Makes life worth living again, makes you feel like a child again!!! But not without introspection and hard realizations and changes.
Woops, forgot to sage my rage. Sorry!
I went back to work today and everything went OK even though my headset kept breaking in and out. Slowly crawling my way out of NEETdom!>>485772
Thanks for the advice anon! I'm curious what field you're in as well. Is it difficult as a woman?
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>I was a no fun allowed nerd, know it all kid in high school and didn't make any friends>school was easy so I was able to graduate even without attending to classes>develop the habit of being late to every activity, with the belief that it will be OK, like missing classes in high school without consequences >college was hard because of this bad habit, depression and stunned social development so I end up dropping out>2 years a NEET to get a job at a call center which is 2 hours bus ride from home this lasted 3 months then i quit, fuck this customer service shit and commute>another 3 years as a shut in, feeling isolated with >tfw no bf feels all the time (Looking back, I think fondly of these years, regret nothing, perhaps not learning japanese)>at 22 I start counting calories with MFP and taking spironolactone for my acne, I became really really cute>get a job at another call center but this one is better because it is chats and is just 1 hour from home>get 2 close friends and have fun at work gossiping and talking>After 2 years I had to quit because I was getting burned out and my performance was bad>Get job at another call center which has better conditions and is even closer to my place, I felt like it will be the start to better times>a guy from new job asks me out and suddenly I'm roped into a relationship within 3 weeks of being there, we are a couple to everyone there,(other people comment how we are such a cute couple and shit)2 months into dating I find out he is married>Don't know what to feel, first boyfriend ever and this happens so I continue the relationship because I didn't have an ounce of character and self respect>after 1 month I quit job out of shame, but stayed with the guy (I suspect he has BPD and I can confirm he is a soulless bastard)>get another job at a bank doing collections (great place, only 4 hours shift with better pay than others, I'm actually good at it get first place in performance most of the months)>after about a year shit hits the fan when this guy out of the blue decides to tell his wife (who is a bigger doormat than I am because she was the breadwinner in the relationship, yes, when I quit he did as well to work at my place but he only lasted 4 months, the rest of the year he was a NEET with wife support) he tells her that he is dating me and asks for divorce, this guy is monkey branching thinking that I'm willing to support him>he senses my surprise, doubt and the next day of the confession he backpedals goes back to his wife and ghosts me without any explanation, I'm left feeling worried (because he told me he wanted to kill himself the day before)rejected, abandoned, bamboozled, humiliated, angry etc. >Manage life with deep pain and sorrow for 9 months, then he comes back full force, with lame shit that I know he has tried on other girls (I hacked his accounts) I reluctantly take him back because of his manipulations but also because I wanted an explanation, retribution, something. I was just spineless and fresh to the human interactions thing. >¨date¨ officially for 3 months, 3 months of him being clingy as fuck, possessive, he introduced me to his mom, being a drama queen, wanted to live together; I gained 5kg, my acne came back because I stopped taking spiro (my blood pressure was off due to stress, I passed out in one occasion)>he sees my state and nopes out, ends the relationship angrily because I didn't want to move in with him, which was great, I actually did want to break up but was afraid he would pour acid on my face or something>I feel numb, I'm not feeling my feels so I'm more tired everyday, sleep a lot, 70% of my adherence is sick leave the rest is tardiness. >I'm not able to process this fact; in my head this will all be OK just like it did in high school>well no, and then I get sacked
I lost my job in April this year, for the past 8 months, I've been sleeping like 12 hours everyday, I shower once a week, I brush my teeth like every 3 days or so, I gained 10kg, but my acne is cleared because I started spiro again, tho.
What's funny is that I don't feel sad, perhaps I'm still numb, sometimes I feel like I'm not in my body, that it doesn't belong to me, I lost control, I can't to move it out of bed sometimes. But ever since the break up, I haven't cried, is like, I knew this was going to happen. I only cried the day I lost my job.
Today was a good day, I got up at 6:00 am, I counted calories and took 1 hour of sun for the first time in like 2 months.
I did research, I looked up the steps to maintain every system in the body healthy.
I'm starting with the skeletal system, daily habits to keep it healthy are, minerals, vitamins, sunshine and exercise, these are all proven to also raise serotonin and other feel good chemicals so I have some chances to cure my depression without giving my hard earned call center money to a psychologist.
I'm feeling hopeful, I watched Kuroko no Basuke and I remembered how sweet it is 2D, it also got me hyped. I will get hot again for my husbando and I will get a job to live and to buy wholesome husbando merch. I also want to learn japanese to be able to understand drama CDs and fully enjoy untranslated games like Ensemble Stars, I love idolshit, both 3D and 2D, I want to travel to Japan to see live shows from my favorite chika idols.
After all this time in call center, I'm confident into doing a good job, I'm actually eager to get a job and meet new people, I want to get girl-friends to roller skate, go on bike rides, visit tea places and cafes. I'm sure these kind of girls exist. I just need to lose weight before, I'm giving myself 2 months.(I can't leave the house being a fatty)
I wrote a schedule to keep the apartment clean and tidy for the month doing small tasks every day.
I also got a contact for mushroom farming classes, mushrooms are expensive and rare in my country and from what I have seen so far they are really easy to grow.
All this is in paper, I just need enough willpower to do it, that and control the time I spend online. The simplest job is the hardest.
I also need some kind of degree ASAP, I think(hope not) my country will fall to some kind of political uprising soon and/or the currency will be devaluated severely. I might need to immigrate or slave to live, send me good energies please. >>472403
Don't feel too nervous or inferior when talking to other people, even if they have different lives they also have insecurities; when I started socializing after being a NEET for 4 years people thought I was shy, aloof or stuck up, they never thought I was immature (or that is what I want to believe lol) in the end it doesn't matter, they live their lives and forget most interactions also opinions on people change over time.
Please be careful about the ¨love¨ thing, be mindful of your boundaries and don't try to please people just to make them like you, right now you are naive and you are letting the whole KV make you feel like a freak undeserving of love when is not the case, men sense this and they will try to take advantage of you (they wont care if you you are a KV, if you can offer company, please them or stroke their ego, they wont care). It really hurts to have your heart broken, be prepared.
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Shit what an annoying wall of text, I hope someone can read it.
I wanted to add this tip. Since I'm bad at registering my feelings I grabbed this wheel of feelings.
When I get intrusive thoughts, I look at the wheel to see the one that matches, then I will know what I'm feeling and google how to process said feeling.
I also look at the antonym word of the feeling and see how and what I can do to feel the opposite.
It worked like a charm to get over the fact that the guy I was with started dating immediately after dumping me.
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Is there anyone else that plunged into NEETdom after a long time of being "normal"? I used to be a pretty ok 3 years ago, but then i got hit with an extremely bad bout of depression and anxiety due to suffering harassment at the hands of an abusive figure. Since then, i haven't felt the same amount of motivation or will to live. I feel like I'm a completely different person that can't adhere to deadlines, jobs or anything else. I think the best way i can describe it is like running at the speed of a train, but getting hit with a sack of bricks by a completely random person. Your face is completely shattered, but you're left to pick up the pieces.
How do you cope with self-sabotaging yourself? I constantly find myself unable to get things done because of the extreme shame from having fallen from grace, I'm overwhelmed with feelings of "what gives" and of never being able to achieve normality again. It feels like everything is a reminder of how much you've been downgraded. My life has been a complete and utter standstill for about 3 years, and I'm just tired. I don't want to be a NEET anymore, but it feels as if there's something inside me pulling me away.
I can relate to this>dropped out of public school in middle school for online classes>gained over 100 pounds in 5 years>no drivers license
While I've done some things to improve myself over the past year or so. I've lost 40 pounds and got my permit last month.
Upcoming 2 year anniversary with bf. Gone to Europe 2 times in past year to see said boyfriend leaving country for the first time ever. Trying to do some money online.
I'm a few classes away from graduating with my associates. But can't make the effort because would have to move from online classes to moving to in person classes which are two hours away.
So I would have to move there for a semester.
I dunno if I should waste more student loan debt for something I might not even use. I'm scared to have a job as I tried doing a call center back in 2017 but quit after 3 days. I'm stuck in a rural area that needs a car.
Work in school, think about what you want to do with your life, plan ahead. Socialize with your peers and teachers if they're worth it, stay out of drama. Try new things, stay curious. You'll be fine if you limit your screen time.
And enjoy your ban.
For prior context, this is my post >>472195
I'm thinking about applying for college again next year. 2020 will be five years since I last tried going. Would it be dumb to study theatre? I don't really care about my ~career I just need to do something with my life and I figure I might as well do something enjoyable while trying to ascend to normiehood. College is cheap or free where I live and I think I'm entitled to the free tier. Plus, it's something that involves working and interacting closely with other people so I think it could be therapeutic and confidence building in a way that business or psychology wouldn't. I don't care if I end up waitressing or whatever after I graduate, I just want to be able to interact with people without fear.>>490735
idk if you're still lurking underage b&-chan but get a part time job. That's the thing I regret not doing the most about my teen years. Everyone I know who is a well adjusted, stable late 20s - early 30s adult worked after school or during summer break, even if they didn't do well in school.
I was in the same situation, anon, except it took me til I was 23 to get my shit together. Honestly, a more relaxed college environment might be really good - especially if you're pursuing a field where it's not necessarily about academic standing but mostly about practical skills you learn, like communication. Less stress makes it easier to stick to things!
You're also probably still going to be one of the younger people in your classes, as well. A lot of people can't afford to go to post secondary until later in life, or like you they're on their second or more time trying the college thing out.
It can be super discouraging to feel like you're behind the rest of the people you know, but what matters is that you have a plan and are getting things on track now. Look at your personal improvements and don't compare yourself to others so hard.
You'll hit 25 and realize that you're still a baby at 20 and that you were fretting over nothing. I believe in you, anon!
Technically this belongs in the advice thread, but I feel like people here would understand my problem better:
Last year I spent New Year's Eve driving around for hours (hoping I wouldn't die in an accident due to bad weather), because I neither had anybody to spend the evening with nor was I able to stay at home because I can't have my parents know just how big of a loser I am.
Last weekend I met up with old friends and one of them asked me, whether I want to come to her house on NYE. Sounds good at first, right?
But the only people I know will be her and another friend of ours. The other guests are that friend's old af bf whom I only met once and a few "buddies" of the host. I have really bad social anxiety, I absolutely hate having to be around strangers, I'm so awkward, I absolutely can't talk to people - expecially if they're men. To make it worse, another friend revealed to me that my friend is actually fucking one of her buddies, so now I'm super scared that once everybody is drunk and the clock strikes midnight both of my friends will just make out with their men and I will be sitting there with nobody to talk to.
Plus, her house is more than 2 hours away, meaning I would have to sleep there and couldn't just leave whenever I wanted.
What should I do? I know that I need to do stuff like this to practice being more socially active, but I feel sick just thinking about it. No matter how hard I try, I always have a rbf and can't open my mouth for the love of god… And it's not like I made any friends whenever I forced myself to socialize either (especially seeing how far away that party is), I would be basically suffering for nothing. I really tried in the past, but despite of what people told me, I absolutely never enjoyed myself when going out or at parties, I'm always only waiting for it to be over.
I hate this so much, the fact that I'm always scared of what to do on NYE keeps ruining Christmas for me, for the past 8 years already. I can't wait for when I have my own place and can just stay in.
It sounds like not having friends causes you to feel a lot of shame and pain but please know that it's not inherently shameful. Also, you're not pathetic, you just seem lost which just happens to a lot of people. I don't know what causes you to put yourself down like that but you're fine, okay? You seem to have some demons and try really hard, too hard to please your parents and/or some figment of really fixed, unforgiving, harsh expectations. I'm sure there are reasons for this but fuck
your social life doesn't affect them and concern them this
much. You're more concerned with their opinion of you or their reaction than your own well-being. That's a red flag.
If it's a two hour drive and you're gonna feel trapped staying the night, don't go. Thank your old friend for the invitation and tell her you can't make it. Maybe even go as far as explaining why. These are just ideas and recommondations. You could say: I'd love to come and thank you so much for the invitation, it really means a lot but staying at an unfamiliar place all night would be very stressful and hard for me at the moment. I thought long and hard about it but I find it's best for me to skip this time. But I was really happy about your invitation. Or just say that sadly you can't make it but that you really tried (because you did) and that it means a lot. Or something in a similar vein if that helps.
It's healthy to wish for friendships and for improvement of struggles. But beating yourself up over it doesn't help. That's not healthy and most importantly, you don't deserve it! You deserve to be treated fairly with respect and patience and positivity.>>492943
pulling the sick card is perfectly fine and enough explanation. good call.
Even parental worrying can become overbearing and bad at some point even if the intent is well-meaning. Should your parents put you down about it or tease you or be overly disappointed in you and make you feel guilty, please view their behavior more critically.
Don't give up, I believe in you, anon.
NTAYRT but she's right. The only way to overcome it is to put yourself into social situations. However a party sounds like it'd be too much for you right now and you are completely justified in not wanting to go. I think it's great you rekindled an old friendship and you can just hang out with her some other time!
I also agree with the other anons and you should just play the sick card with your parents. If they pry, just be upfront and say you were invited but you feel unwell. Technically, it really isn't even lying lol.
(Sorry if you weren't looking for anymore input on this!!)
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Here's to a productive 2020 anons! May all our neet recovery related resolutions go according to plan!>>499831
You can do it!>>492913
This thread got bumped on NYE and I remembered your post. What did you end up doing out of curiosity? Hope you're doing okay.
Thank you for asking, anon! (tho I planned to do an "update" anyway lol)
I went because I knew that I just had to, but I'm so glad it's over.
Beforehand I was so scared that my entire body was shaking. My friend's friends were nice, so it was okay, but nevertheless I was just sitting around silently, because I just have no idea how to contribute to conversations. We played some drinking game nearly the entire evening, about which dirty things we've done already, so of course I had to lie constantly to not out myself as the virgin loser I really am.
When some of the guests left and only the ones who wanted to sleep over stayed, I also noticed that my friend's secret fuckbuddy wasn't leaving either - despite stating so earlier. Problem was, I was sleeping in my friend's room, which wasn't connected to the floor itself. Instead you had to walk through another bedroom, the one she took for that night. So, when everybody else went to bed and that guy was still around, I just knew that they would sleep in that room together. And I was right, since her house is very old, so I could clearly hear his voice from that room. I didn't hear any sex noises, but you can never know…
When I woke up early in the morning I had to pee, but obviously also didn't want to enter the room they slept in, so instead I laid awake for 3 hours…
Does my friend think I'm dumb enough to not notice the way they look at each other, that he tries to touch her, that I could hear them? Or did she want me to find out that way? I'm also a little hurt that she repeatedly lied about not dating him. If you fuck him, then he's not just your bestie like you always claim.
After breakfast they also cuddled a little. It was just them and another couple left, I felt so uncomfortable, I just wanted to leave (and finally could, after another 2 hours of awkwardness).
I guess my wish for 2020 is to lose weight and become attractive enough to find a kind bf through online dating or apps, so that I can just leech off him when it comes to friends. My dream was always to find good and reliable female friends, but it seems that this is impossible. All the girls I met always put guys before friends. Maybe it's because I live in a very rural area, but I got the impression that it's more common in bigger cities to still be single in your 20s and to also do things without your partner. I feel like I've been third wheeling since I was just 16.
Samefag, but maybe to clarify a little bit: I've been writing "friend" the entire time, so you might wonder why I post in the neet thread:
I saw this girl 5 times this year, but before that we didn't see each other 2 years in a row.
And it's the same with all my other friends too. I don't have many to begin with (zero in university), and I see them usually only once (or less) per year, meaning that the past years I sometimes went out as little as one time per year, meaning despite technically having "friends" I still feel very lonely. All of them have other friends and/or live far away, so I'm definitely far from their number one priority. I only sometimes text them, what they're doing and sometimes they just stop replying after a while, so it's not like I really have somebody to talk with about my problems. I also haven't seen my former best friend in 2 years and she didn't even bother telling me that she went to study abroad.
i wish you the best of luck anon! 'grats on being not only the youngest in your family to pursue higher education, but also the first woman!
don't listen to your family. i'm not gonna shit on them bc they obviously didn't get the chance to aim higher so it's somewhat understandable that they're so close-minded and judgemental, but their backwards thinking shouldn't bring you down, esp your mother. the fact that you're getting the chance to do this at all proves you've got what it takes. don't pressure yourself; college is hard for everyone and you don't need to be some superwoman.
you're built for more than just being a housewife and serving a man. even if that's what you end up choosing after you get your degree, it's still YOUR
choice anon. good luck in college!! i hope you do amazingly.
Is that sarcasm…?
Doing that is simply my only option or hope at this point.
It's okay to say no to things. You had genuine good reasons not to go to this event. That's okay. But you did go, and you now you can use it as a learning experience. Recovering from neetdom doesn't mean you need to unnecessarily put yourself through things you find unpleasant or become a normie. For me, it means that I want to become functional, self sufficient and able to interact with the outside world. I'm so extremely introverted that I know I would be unhappy with a full on normie lifestyle but I don't want to stagnate in my childhood bedroom until I die either.
Like, when you needed to pee for instance; even if they were having sex, and you walked in on them, so what? You couldn't avoid going through the room. It wouldn't have been your fault and I doubt anyone would have been mad at you. Embarrassed maybe, but not mad. Especially if the room was quiet like you say. And if you had walked in on them it would have been be a funny story you could tell during a drinking game or something in the future and it would be something that really happened.
Being a neet doesn't mean you can't have friends, it just means you aren't in education, employment or training. a lot of adults only see some friends a few times a year or even less, especially if they live a few hours away. they aren't "close" friends and that's okay but that doesn't mean the relationship isn't important. I get that you want closer friends, but don't neglect this friendship. Try and do something together in 2020 at some point. I had non close friendships that I let slip because I was ashamed of my pathetic life and now I have no one to text or hang out with at all.
I also don't think finding a bf to leech off of is a good idea. girls in our position are vulnerable. A lot of the men who would date someone like us probably like the idea of someone who is sort of helpless relying on them and would take advantage of that. I think developing yourself and getting fit is a great idea, but don't do it to get a bf, do it for yourself. I'm not saying stay celibate forever but be careful. Is bumble popular where you live? That has a function for finding female friends. I think that might a good idea for you. I hope 2020 is good for you anon.
So you applied to be a bullet buffer for your country that didn’t support you with mental health up to this point and fell pray to a human pound
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(If American): Do you enjoy being a pawn in the games of rich war profiteers like Dick Cheney? You could get your legs blown off so shareholders in Haliburton get a bigger dividend.
The reason why the benefits are so great is because the job is garbage.
Even if you won't be killing babies directly you'll still be providing support for those that do.
going to basic training for the army broke my neetdom cycle. I didn't wind up graduating but I finally got a normal job when I got back. plus I was in the best shape of my life.
people are replying "reeee fuck the military" and they're right but you also probably aren't in the mindset to give a shit. I know I wasn't. Good luck anon, I hope you don't wind up regretting it. Sign the shortest contract they'll give you and make sure you accept the GI bill when they offer it to you. save every penny of your money.
I was the military anon and wow, didn't expect so many replies lol.
I'm leaning towards intelligence. Not joining the marines nor doing combat >>500800
Most likely gonna sign a 6year contract because I wanna be a linguist. I appreciate your advice. I can't really see myself doing anything else right now.
Unless you are in combat, it is unlikely you'll suffer any of the things you just mentioned.
Rape is a possibility, but I've already been raped as a civilian twice, and if I needed to get out of the house immediately, the military would be one of the fastest options. Not all of us qualify for other programs.
I've been a neet for over 2 years. I used to work for my Aunt as a receptionist, but she downsized her business and didn't need me anymore. I have a bachelor of science in human resource development, a previous HR internship and two other previous office jobs. My resume is polished and I've been through coaching with multiple recruiters and my old college's career services center. I am a 25 year old woman with no social media, no IRL friends and bad social skills. I have been trying really hard, lately, though. My Aunt is even letting me lie about still working for her to hopefully make my resume look more attractive to prospective employers, but it isn't going well. I am GREAT at getting the initial interview for the jobs I am applying for (data entry, hr internship/hr assistant, telemarketing) but once I get past the phone screen and they get to know me I am rejected, even if I am overqualified for the position on paper. I think it is my personality. I am bad at projecting confident body language and seeming like a good candidate. I project the image of a stupid, uncertain woman that would be a pain to have around. The funny thing is that I briefly worked at a place that taught job-seeking strategies and interview etiquette to people with autism and even helped teach the class and mentor them. But I can't even get a job, myself. It's like I know everything on paper that I am supposed to do but in practice I just fail. I just feel really bad lately and hopeless. It's like I was on this upward escalator to getting an ok-job and being normal but then I graduated and my internship ended and my life was over. I spend all day applying to jobs I will never get, talking to people on a shutin discord server and drinking. I honestly hate my life
I'm a neet because I'm mentally ill. My parents are working class and hate my guts -partially because I'm a disappointment and a leech, partially because they've always been abusive
to the point that hating me has been their default setting since I was a baby. I don't enjoy gaming or watching tv that much, I only take part in them because they're low investment hobbies I can do from my bedroom. I face stress and worry about my future and my physical/mental health on a daily basis. I have no friends, have never had a romantic relationship and am extremely lonely. I turn 30 this year and suicide is looking more and more tempting with every day. It's shit.
Holy shit I can relate and I'm only 19,I never had friends,currently jobless,regularly cynical and depressed,verbally abusive
dad who wants me dead, whole family doesn't give a shit about me due to my inevitable tbi I had as a baby which makes me function differently than other people doesn't help that I'm the only introvert in my family
(Mostly) recovered NEET, now a first year uni student at 23 (dropped out first time around after a mental breakdown, spent some years NEETing, in a drugged haze and doing part time work).
Problem is, I'm still a virgin I feel like I lost the time I should have been getting relationship experience to NEETdom and depression, and I feel hopelessly immature in that area and feel so ashamed. I'm not looking for anything major, just some experience, a casual relationship.
I'm having a lot trouble finding people I'd be open to dating, because most men around me are 4/5 years younger. I've made some friends around my age, but no one I'm the slightest bit attracted to. I don't want to try online dating, because I can't tell I'm attracted to someone without meeting them in person. Not into clubbing either.
Any ex-NEETS have a similar story? Tips on just getting out there and meeting people?
You need a change to your routine, something that will get you out of the house on a regular basis, but not TOO shocking a change that you can't cope - having nothing to do all day is poison and it's so hard to lift yourself out of that state.
Volunteer work maybe? Is there any government help you could get, training courses you could go on?
Because normal people with a conscience and a sense of shame would feel guilty and embarassed leeching off their parents without even attempting to become independent.
The NEET life is my dream, I just call it early retirement because I plan to pay for it myself.
That sucks anon.
I'm poor as shit, but haven't been depressed for almost 2 years now - I'm the person you're replying to, so I'm romantically in the same place (well, I've BEEN kissed, but not by anyone I'd want), and it worries me, but overall I'm genuinely happy.
Do you work out? Running was a big part of the key to getting out of depression. I was bordering a BMI of 30 when I started, and while it certainly helped my physical health, the mental health benefit to my mood was the bigger positive.
Literally just this morning, I was feeling awful (PMS + external stress factors piled up), and while I'm supposed to be revising for exams, I have nothing scheduled I have to show up for, so I was very tempted for the first time in ages to go back to old bad habits and spend the day basically browsing the internet in bed. Instead, I dragged myself to go for a run instead, instantly felt in a good mood after. Doesn't have to be running, just something that gives you that endorphin boost.
That's the difference between being depressed and not - the facts of your situation can be the same, the problems can be the same, but when you're depressed you just see things differently. Things that I can brush off now paralysed me when depressed. I used to want to hide in my room or end it with every setback, now my immediate response is "how can I deal with this?"
And depression fucks with your head, you forget that it's not normal to feel like shit, you forget what it's like to not just want it to end - so remember that whatever you feel right now, you may not get what you want, but as long as you're alive it's possible to be happy overall.
thanks for the commiserations and advice kind anons. I'm going to be stuck at my parents' house for at least another year so I need to come up with something to keep me sane. I'm thinking of going to my country's equivalent of community college to study an old hobby but that won't start up until late august. Getting back into volunteering was one of my resolutions this year. I did it before and found it a little overwhelming but I was in school full time back then. I've been thinking about becoming a rape crisis volunteer, but given my own issues that might be more of a long term goal. Maybe something with kids would be a better fit. There are actually a lot of volunteering opportunities where I live because the economy is so shit lmao. >>502148
you should see if there's somewhere near you where you can volunteer with animals anon! At the place I used to volunteer there was a girl who came in 30 hours a week and they eventually just gave her a paid job. It would be something in your area of interest to go on your resume at least. I know of people who made up fake old jobs and had a friend or family member with a different last name as a reference. My work history is extremely spotty to say the least, but I have good references from volunteering that will be useful if I recover enough to work again.
Ok I'm not sure how college works in the US but is it possible for you to do an internship before/after you graduate ? You didn't mention it so I assume you never did one. It looks like you need the work experience more than the money so you can do an unpaid internship (easier to be hired) in your field of study and if you're really lucky they'll keep you, if not it's still experience.
If you can't do an internship, try to do more volunteer work before you graduate.
Be prepared to answer in an interview why you didn't work before. Lots of people were in the same situation as you, search online you'll probably find a good answer. Make something up if you have to.
Either way, it's going to be difficult without a car but not impossible ! I know right now everything is stressful but you'll make it anon I'm rooting for you
Once I transfer to a 4-year university internships will be possible and I'll 100% look into them.
Thank you so very much for your reply, it was very helpful and encouraging!
Look at places within walking distance and apply to them first. An hour of walking there and an hour of walking back actually isn't as bad as it sounds, especially if you listen to some music or something while you walk.
>entry level jobs pay nothing
Having no job pays nothing, so if entry level is what you can get, take it. Everybody starts somewhere and most of us start off somewhere shit. After my degree, I ended up working retail for nine months. Some money is better than no money and, when you have zero experience, beggars can't be choosers.
When people ask why you haven't worked, say "I was working on my education and was lucky enough to be able to focus on my studies, but now I'm ready to dive into the practical side of things in a professional working environment." It shuts down further questioning, shows you want to work and it shows confidence because you're showing that you're aware it's not the norm but that you don't think it'll set you back. If you answer in a nervous or embarrassed way, it'll rub off on the interviewers and they'll see it as an embarrassing thing.
Compile excellent references. Any teachers that are pleased with your work, any family friends in professional careers, any fellow volunteers. Ask them for a written reference. Photocopy and have these on hand for interviews. A file of people that believe in you can do wonders.
I understand your frustration but speaking from my own experience taking time of school for me made my depression worse and now I don't think I'll ever be able to re-enroll and it feels bad man.
Are you seeking tutoring or speaking to your professor?
NTA, but there are a lot of different things you could say, depending on the skills you want to highlight. I'd put emphasis on organization and attention to detail, like managing schedules, helping to write out checks/pay bills, etc. You probably do a lot of those things anyway.
If you don't have work experience, it's not a bad idea to embellish, especially if your parents will be a reference for you. Restaurant/retail jobs might not even check your references, but it does look better to have some kind of experience doing something.
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Neet stands for Not in Education, Employment, or Training.
You're in education and employed, so no you're not a neet.
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I MISS BEING NEET. Quarantine has been TOO COMFY. I want to relapse so fucking bad!!! The thought of soon I’ll have to drag my ass into the office be fake all day fills me with selfYEET feelings.
wow this is a really old post but i'm the anon who wrote the post you screenshotted …to be honest most days i feel bad about myself and i wrote those things as an exercise to see if i could change the way i think. probably due to lasting affects of abuse and neglect from self and others.
90% of the time i feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing around normies and am scared that i will be found out or someone will bring up my past where i was a mentally ill loser who even ended up in hospital by end of high school. and i spent a lot of time at uni alone studying so that's why i got good grades..
i just kept going each day and then one day i realized i got a life i could have never imagined as a child. i was just surviving for so long but only as of this year (23) do i finally feel alive. i even got into my master's program with a scholarship!
sorry if this was cringe or unhelpful but i just want to let you know you should keep putting one foot in front of the other. i had a rule called "no zero days" where i pushed myself to never let a day pass without doing something productive. and then you end up doing like 2,3,4,5,even 10 productive things. we believe in you!
also sorry for a late response but I was starting college this year at 22. of course because of corona my first semester was cancelled and I was only able to attend for like, a month (also, obviously, i'm not american).
it wasn't half as nerve wrecking as I thought it would be, there were a considerable amount of people older than me in my classes (the majority was still straight out high school tho). I did get a lot of questions about my age, but nothing too judgmental. It's hard not to feel inferior about the fact that I wasted 4 years of my life stuck in my room in a depressive episode but college will make you so busy you probably won't have much time to thought spiral about it, so definetly try doing it, anon!
holy shit anon are you me? 22yo and starting university again but then covid hit
i guess I'm lucky that most of my school work is computer based anyway so i can keep going with school
good on you though, just a shame covid shit on our plans to get out and do stuff
Go to trade school then, surely your parents will like it mor than you’re sitting on your ass all day wasting rice > literally can’t get a job as a waitress or whatever because everything like that was nepotistic before Covid and now 70% of those business are expected to experience downturn
Don’t know why you have this impression, comes off like an excuse to not try tbh
Sorry to say but a job is a job and a lot of time it is mind numbing, most of us don’t have a job we’re good at and love, let that go. You have to decide whether you want to move out and become independent enough to do what needs to be done. Or you can continue to wallow in learned helplessness.
Yes anon they have told me they would prefer I sit in my ass all day then embarrass them by getting a “low class” job. This has been our underlying dynamic since I can remember. Maintaining their image is as a “upper class” family is single most important thing I can do.
I tried doing that “pull yourself by bootstraps” attitude and going to like 15 diff bars/restaurants pre covid and they told me they don’t hire anyone w/o experience and don’t want to train, all the people I know who have similar jobs were hired by a friend. Everything is corrupt in some sense. Even half the time the education is just a scam like those stupid coding bootcamps that were so popular 2-3 years ago. I kind of hope the recession just causes the whole rotting edifice to collapse on itself.
I can’t tell if this a joke. Where the fuck do you live tf. Restaurants bars and fast food and coffee houses always looking to hire here. The only exception is family run mom and pops spots where the staff stays more or less the same for years.
Covid is making grocery stores scramble for temp hires. At most I’ve seen is “1-2 years of experience preferred” for retail but they don’t really mean that. Anyway, I’ve applied for plenty of jobs I had no exp in and got them anyway. Shoot your shots ya damn NEEts.
>>569354>socially awkward and really ugly?
I got my first job a few months ago and its one of the few jobs on earth where I dont even have to utter a single word all day and dress code is non existent. Im also surrounded by boomers so no young men to talk shit to me. Hell, I dont even make eye contact with anyone most days. Im feeling great lately, image wise.
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data entry for the government
monotonous but very stress free
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I envy yourt cushy job so much.
I just quit my job because it was too much stress and I'm so afraid I will fall back into neetdom at 30 after 3 years clawinf myself out.
it is stress free but its also low pay
although if you can budget well its not a big deal
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Guys I’ll never be able to escape NEETdom. All I do every single day is clean my family’s mess. My parents work all day and are stressed. My siblings are lazy peices of shit. And my grandma who lives with us is supposed to cook and clean, BUT NEVER DOES. I do it all and am never thanked. I’m so exhausted. I entertained the thought of going to college, but if I don’t clean and take care of my mom nobody else will. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? It’s just so unfair that I’ve essentially been stuck here for FIVE YEARS because everyone else is lazy. I want a life! I want friends! But everyone else’s needs have to come before mine. It’s unfair I didn’t sign up for this. I don’t mind cleaning up after my parents since they took care of me and haven’t kicked me out. But thinking of having to juggle school work on top of cleaning everyone else’s mess it makes me feel exhausted. I can’t do it all. I lowkey feel like I am being encouraged to stay being a NEET by my mother bc she knows if I’m not around no one will cook food for her or keep the house in order. I feel like the only way I can escape is by kms, but I can’t.
I didn't know it was a thing til I saw it on here. I've seen a couple of anons freak out after the break up of those relationships. Shit like the guy giving them a few months to get their shit together and move out but them just hanging on there because they have no job and little motivation to get one.
The nicer the bf is in letting them stay there rent free (after the breakup) the more they just stagnate and act like they can hang on forever. In one way I feel for them and in another way you want to shake them into action.
im going to commit suicide tonight.
im just tired of being worthless and feeling stupid because of my autism
Please don’t! Trust me if this is the worst pain you can possibly be in emotionally then it’s only going to get better. If you take your own life there’s no chance of that happening, I know things can get really tough. Your autism means that you’re way more creative and artistic than most so try and explore that path.
Please anon don’t do it, it does get better and never ever think you are stupid or worthless. You are most certainly not. My thoughts are with you anon, you are loved.
Anon, don’t. Please. You're being so hard on yourself. It’s difficult to carry on while in pain, but think about who will suffer without you here.
Don’t give up. Apply for those winter classes. Make a tiny positive change in your diet. Go for walks. You deserve to feel happy, don’t rob that from yourself. It might take a while, but it will come.
Please try to talk to someone if you can tonight.
Life is more than your town or your career. Some people have more difficult starts in life but that does not mean you're limited. We have to find what we want and get it, and once we do it will feel so much better. I believe in you.
And if you really do wanna commit suicide, you may as well try for a month to live a happy life and get out of your situation and see how it goes. But life does get better.
quote didnt work (im assuming its because its on g. I feel dumb)
my discord is potato.#9829
I’m so happy to hear that you didn’t go through with it. I’ve suffered from those thoughts in the past and the minute I opened up to someone that I trusted i felt much better. A problem shared is a problem halved.
I hope you start to feel better anon, there’s much much more to life that you just haven’t come across yet and the pandemic isn’t making things any easier. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you seem like a lovely person!
Ever since COVID, my anxiety and paranoia have increased to the point that I can't go outside unless I'm with my SO. I was doing really well the beginning of this year, I had a full time job (super shitty, stressful, and toxic work environment; had to quit), I walked to restaurants, stores, bus stops, etc by alone without freaking out too much. Then came COVID, then the protests and riots and violence, and I don't want to ever leave my room. I know I'll feel better if I go outside but the world just feels evil and I feel safer in my cocoon.
I’m now broke and still jobless , I haven’t gotten my employment benefits for two months and my financial aid reimbursements won’t come until September.
On the other hand, I’m back in school!
I feel sorry for you anon. I don't know your life and your struggles like you do, but if your previous aspirations failed you, then consider finding a new purpose. Maybe you were right that we can't escape fate, but your certainty in your future misfortune is disturbing. Do something about. Even if you can't succeed in the way others succeed you are not a failure, because you are yourself(not others), so respect yourself by living in a way that reflects that. You have to conquer those obstacles that are unique to yourself, but don't make yourself your own enemy by seeing yourself as an immovable obstacle.
And honestly I think you are more free than the people who bullied you. You will never have that misdeed to live with, and you have the incredible opportunity to justly defend yourself. More life points for u. :)
In the future please stand up for yourself even if you look like a fool, even against an overpowering enemy. If it is any help remember you have nothing to lose,so know that you can only gain respect by protecting yourself from assault verbal/physical. If you show confidence that you have something worth protecting, people will at least hesitate to hurt you in the future. Whatever you do, don't end your life. I don't encourage violence against others, (mainly cause I don't want jail time,) but if society is causing you pain don't help society by destroying yourself. Redirect your destructive energies elsewhere. If others truly have the power/will to end your life then they would have done it, but they haven't and so they obviously can't, or don't want to. There is no one to fear. Stop looking towards society and it's physical appeals for direction and purpose.
If you want fulfillment don't equate it with success to begin with. We all fail, but people who are grounded in themselves don't need to be given anything,pleasure or praise to reach enlightenment.
Ok, I need some advice FAST. My sister and I are soon moving out of our parents house in the shithole country to live in our shithole town. I haven't had a job since the beginning of the year, but I just can't hold down a job. If we lived in town, I'd be able to actually walk everywhere and be closer to the few jobs in town. I need this so bad. This would be so good for me, but I'm so afraid of quitting a week into the job again. How do I avoid this? I don't even want a job. I'm so depressed all the time from being a complete disappointment and waste of space in my family, but I've been in a rut for years. How the fuck am I supposed to JUST pull myself out?? This is far from easy but this apartment is all my sister is talking abut, I don't want to disappoint her because she can't afford it on her own. But I'm just so deathly afraid of quitting again. Shit's keeping me up at night and I can't sleep. What do I do? What would I do if no one in town even hires me? then what? I'm so scared anons, I just want to be free from this hell. I fucking hate being a NEET. But school gives me anxiety, jobs give me anxiety, taxes give me anxiety, being ALIVE gives me aniety. I'm stressing tf out and I don't know what to do anymore.
>>599767>I'm so afraid of quitting a week into the job again>I'm just so deathly afraid of quitting again.>I'm stressing tf out and I don't know what to do anymore.
Try not quitting? I don't understand what your problem is.
> I don't even want a job
Nobody "wants" to have a job, dipshit. That's why people aim for retirement. If I was your sister and you neglected to hold up your end of the agreement just because you didn't feel like working a job, and everything we planned for fell through because of that, I would be pissed as fuck at you.
You need to take a deep breath, put on your big girl pants, and quit holding pity parties for yourself over easily fixable problems.
I have anxiety/depression and personally for me having a job and routine responsibilities helps me feel less useless. Rn i'm broke and living at my parents since I can't find work and it sucks and having nothing to do puts me into a terrible mindset and worse depression.
Jobs are hard but you have to get used to it and you can maybe even find one that is a good escape from your worries in life. Its always hard in the beginning especially interviews and stuff but it's worth it for your independence.
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Right now I'm in a situation where I have every opportunity to get myself to be independent and confident again. I passed a job interview for a place that's only 10 minutes away and the owner is super friendly and chill. My car is now fixed where I can get back into driving again and my partner is helping me with it, I'm finally going to be able to balance my art/craft with having some stable income and job without feeling like I'm just a failed/broke artist. I don't want to go back faking to my family that I'm living just fine on art alone. I hate have to rely on my partner so much and being home all day just making shit that only sells once in a blue moon.
I'm so excited to feel like I'm worth it again, I'm just scared something bad will happen and I'll revert back because even when I do make money from my art, do chores and make food/dinner for everyone in my household, I still feel like I'm just some moocher because they work way more than me. In a way, I'm scared that even after I start working, I'll realize that I'll never actually be happy with myself, that'll always feel like a failure.
How does one date as a NEET?? I want to get on a dating app, but all I do in my free time is wallow in self-hate and I'm afraid we'd have nothing to talk about>>604715>>602636
Congrats to both of you, anons!! You should be proud of yourselves!
I know that feel, anon, I’m the same, my classes are online, well, they’ve always been online, but the point is that on my free time I workout and learn another language, just doing two extra things really helps you feel like you’re being productive. I also draw and sometimes write dumb fanfics, but I don’t really count those as things that will help me feel productive.
Just try thinking of something that makes you feel like you’re spending your time in a good way.
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How do people genuinely stop being neets after life has just constantly been punching them in the face? It feels stupid to keep trying if I just have naturally shit luck.
Does anyone else talk to themselves a lot? I mean, a lot? I understand that it's normal to talk to yourself, but does anyone else talk like to their imaginary friends pretty much ad nauseum? For hours on end, that is. To the point where you just don't even consider seeking outside interaction.
For example, I was alone in the house, talking to myself as I usually do. I was having a really animated conversation, and I didn't hear my uncle come into the house. When I was done, I came out of my bedroom to see him in the office next to mine, to rather mortifying effect. He asked me if I was talking to a friend on the phone, but I'm a horrible liar and made it pretty obvious what I was doing. God, that was horribly cringey.
But, I've been thinking recently, in the presence of others, it's so easy to act timid. You never really know what they want. Why bother with the company of others when you can get your own? You don't have to be a neet to be asocial. There are still loner hobbies out there like biking, running, hiking, making kit models, and so on. I hate the idea that, in order to reject your neethood, you have to reject your entire personality. I'm pretty much the same person as I was when I was a neet, except I'm employed, I have hobbies, and I talk to my family more. It's not as bad as it seems, I feel.
I have conversations with a videogame character in my head daily. I don't know if it's bad, it's a way to work through my feelings. And the character is a nice caring mentor type so I use it to soothe myself too. But yeah getting caught by family is embarrassing, I now always wear earphones so when I make a face in reaction to the convo in my head I can pretend it's due to something I'm listening to.
Normies put too much emphasis on socializing. If you're a person who grew up with little to no socializing then it wouldn't make sense that you'll want to socialize at the level that normies do. That's my opinion anyways. Not to discourage people who want to socialize more. But if you're content and happy by your self then I don't see a problem.
I feel this comment so much… I had a really fundie dysfunctional fucked up childhood. Life feels like a black comedy, when things fuck up, they really fuck up. It's why sometimes I have to laugh when shit constantly happens to me.
My anxiety is at an all time high. I have to be drunk and/or high to leave my house without freaking the fuck out and trying to remind myself not to hyperventilate. Sudden noises make me physically jump and I feel crazy for looking weird in public.
I just want to stay in my house with my cat all day. Outside fucking sucks. People fucking suck and confuse me. I feel like a nut.
/End emo blog post
I talk to myself a lot too. I’m not necessarily lonely these days, but I’ve always just done it. I have people/characters I converse with sometimes also, other than myself.
I grew up in a pretty lonely little world as a kid, and I think it always helped me cope and work through my emotions. Tbh, I find my own conversation comforting these days.
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I got accepted for an at home document scanning job. I feel like I can handle that and I'm exited to get some spare money, but my parents are all 'why don't you get a full time job outside of the house huh???'. I'm trying my best, but it never seems to be enough for them, they want me to turn into a normie over night. I get burnt out just listening to them.
Exactly the same. I also vomit on occasions when I'm forced to interact with people.
Also, I feel like a NEET even though I do technically work online and make more than the average wage in my country.
I'm afraid if my online earnings for whatever reason stop that I'll be forced to actually work with people.
I'm immensely happy that this thread exists because otherwise I'd sound like a special snowflake so reading all these posts that sound as if I've written them gives me a bit of solace.
If it weren't for internet I'm sure I would have already killed myself. The few times I had a normal job it went badly despite all of my good will and attempts. >>637640
I'm so proud of you anon! It's the little steps that count and your parents are terrible for not being more encouraging. I completely understand how you feel. My parents did the same thing. It's like they don't realize how much effort it takes to muster the strength for any type of socializing and interaction. They would see me trembling and vomiting but it didn't matter one bit.
That anon hurt me too. But she most likely is one of those people who thinks everyone has the same opportunity and if they fail it's their fault.
I'm a 28yo NEET. Worked one year of my life. I'm planning a life were I don't have to work, as it's just not realistic that I will be happy that way. I want to grow all kind of stuff in my garden and sell it so I make a little bit of money and have something to do.
I want to hug you don't feel too bad pls, you're right.(I'm overemotional sorry)
You know that's a beautiful aspiration I hope you can make it happen some day soon. Gardening seems so therapeutic in general. That sounds like a dream I don't see why you shouldn't want that, idk reading this made me feel better and I really wish you the best. It must be exciting to imagine how your garden will be
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Thank you baby neet. I have thick coat because I'm a neet so long. Sometimes I even forget that people hate us, that anon reminded me of that.
27 year old neet here. I’ve always wanted to keep chickens and goats.
Do you want to start a neet farm.
30 yr old unemployed spoonie here and I agree that hearing people make the generalized assumption that everyone is in their current situation totally because of their own laziness or weakness can leave you feeling very guilty. Worst still when it comes to illness "well I know of this person who has the same thing and they're fine!" implying you're just making excuses. It really does hurt to hear and you start questioning your own decisions and self-worth based on the standards of others.
Stay strong, anons. I know that's easier said than done but if we survive 2020 we're stronger than we know.
The only things you can really do are practice, and “fake it ‘til you make it”.
My first full time wage slave job after I turned 18 was in fashion retail. It suddenly required me to approach and up-sell grumpy people while getting watched through cameras and constantly harassed through an earpiece. On top of that, most of my coworkers and managers were fucked in the head, nitpicky, high school tier gossipers. It was hellish for the year I was there, but it snapped me out of my shy, spaghetti spilling shit and I went into my next job feeling (and appearing) way more normie/capable.
>>641962>> What if I'm late? I need to be up closer to 5 than my usual 7. And?
>>What if I get my period? Take tampons.
>>What if I straight up don't feel like it that day? Grow up
>>What if I get a headache? Take a Panadol
>>What if the staff are mean? Worse, what if the boss is mean? Toughen up.
>>What if the trains are really crowded and uncomfortable? Stand and suck it up. Are your legs broken?
>>What if I really need to do a big shit but the bathrooms always have someone in them? Shit or get off the pot.
>>What if the weather is AWFUL?
Wear a jacket.
This is shit school children have usually learned to handle. How did you even get hired?
I had a shitty job for nearly a decade and NO DEGREE and you wanna know how I jumped into a career I don't hate?
I literally pretended, as hard as I could, that I was at least a successful Becky with a tragic backstory (it helps that my life was actually pretty tragic), and I got hired.
Just lie. Don't lie about things you'll get caught on, but lie to yourself that you're worth more, and that you can change your life.
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They want to train me, I'm hired? Still feels like a joke. I'm scared, I'm going to start in a few days. Now I have to make up a normie tier excuse of why I didn't work or go to school for a few years.
Just say you dropped out or had to take care of a sick family member or something like that.
Good luck, you can do it!!
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I'm so happy anons! After a year of NEET-dom I've finally managed to get a job. I'm working as a tutor, which I really love because it's good pay for relatively few hours and I can pick my schedule plus I enjoy teaching.
My next steps are applying for grad school in the field I want to go to and finding a hobby after lockdown ends. I'm hoping that because everybody has been forced to limit their social interaction no one will be able to detect that I'm an autistic hikki.
Just use a dating site you loon, imagine being a virgin and jumping straight to a fetish site. >dating site: socially retarded porn addicted scrotes>fetish site: manipulative sociopathic porn addicted scrotes
Choose your poison.
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Does anyone know any tips on how to push through and get your shit together even if you have extreme avoidant tendencies? I haven't come across much good advice except "be more mindful". And while that is good advice, it's not really enough. It helps but not enough. Has anyone been able to manage their extreme anxiety or depression? If so, what helped?
Kinda similar to the other anon but my therapist made me figure out external motivational factors that I have control over. For example while sitting in therapy she made me text my roommate to ask if she could help me write a cover letter. (I don't need help writing, I need help getting motivated to write.) Organizing a study group for college work. Telling my mom about a cool job opening or an upcoming exam because my mom WILL ask about it next time we chat and guilt trip me if I didn't apply or didn't study.
As you can see most of my motivation comes from other people.
Nta and late reply. External motivations do nothing for me if they're negative, because tbh my main problem is with authority. Consequences for actions I choose to do are easier to deal with mentally than doing things I am asked/forced to.
Does the external motivation method also have a positive side?
o I want to add that you can reward yourself for small achievements. snacks or other indulgements, they can be prizes for when you successfully face/get something done, if the feeling itself is not enough
adding to all of this I'm also in therapy and it has helped once I realized I needed to put in full effort. It's not even hard i just didn't understand how therapy works at first lol, it doesn't happen magically in one try
This might sound morbid but try thinking about what it'll be like when you die, and imagine the handful of possibilities (be VERY realistic, rather than exaggerated- life is not a hollywood movie). After around a week of panic attacks, and remembering the brutal natures of life, I started getting "my shit together" and now I'm volunteering 5 days a week, and might get a part time soon (I can't guarantee that I'll land this one, but its worth the shot).
Routines are vital in getting out of the toxic
NEET hole, start off with cleaning your room, or at least parts of it, and tell yourself explicitly that "if you aren't able to do this thing to your fullest; you won't be able to do the things you desire with your 200% effort" Your life depends on this routine and the others to follow. Keep continuing your routine until you're comfortable enough to "do more", you can ask your parents and whatnot on chores you can help with.
Also remember that despite whatever repetitive mistakes you have; you should notice that your recent mistakes were less bad than your first ones. You are responsible for your own self, so it won't be 'foolish' to like & respect yourself.
We're all gonna die one day, each in our own ways. Be grateful for the precious things you have still, and don't be afraid of experiencing things (safely- don't do shit like drugs omg). And find ways to take in the feelings of your sadness, not to amplify or force your sadness out, but just take it all in. Fictional examples are dumb, but this is the best I can find to explain what I mean.
Also to add that what stops me from talking to people
getting out of neetdom is the fact that I can't present myself the way I want. I know it's superficial but looks are everything imo, and I will never be able to invest in the image I want
Can you segment it? I’m assuming you’re thinking of a situation along the lines of needing a BA to get into a career but you dropped out of high school. Some people might be motivated throughout the process by thinking of the career, but some people might be put off as it’s so far away. In the latter case, you could focus on achieving each big step. Step one, the goal is to get your GED or whatever so you can get into college - but rather than thinking about it as step one, see it as the end goal if that makes sense. That way it’ll feel closer to achieving, then when you move onto step two you can think about that. Don’t get ahead of yourself, and remember that each step is an independent achievement, not just you inching toward your goal.
> realistically there are too many things in the way
At the risk of sounding like a motivational speaker, there were many things in your way when you were learning to walk, talk and all the other complex things that no one is born able to do. Human beings can be remarkably determined, it’s difficult to harness but the raw material is inside you somewhere.
Don’t be silly nonnie
, even if you’re genetically completely fucked (which I doubt) that’s no excuse to NEET your life away. If you’re not going to be Miss World then might as well put effort into something achievable.
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I'm not 100% a NEET since I'm doing my bachelor's degree but I wanted to drop out since the first semester, and I'm so close to failing pretty much every subject not because I'm stupid but because I don't study at all because I have no motivation to do nothing doing relatively good for someone who never studies my life has been just memes and stupid IB and internet culture for years, everything is the same and life has become tasteless and without a purpose, I don't have friends and my relationship with my family is shit, I don't read books, I don't watch movies or shows because nothing catches my interest anymore, I'm so detached from my own country's politics and so focused on American politics, I lost interest in everything I once enjoyed, quarantine made everything worse and even my speech deteriorated I can't socialize with people anymore and every other issue became worse than before.
I've been feeling confused about my own identity and purpose for the past couple months but with no real answer, I've tried sitting with myself and trying to figure it out time and time again but I couldn't every time but I always tried to make a change. Last night I had an epiphany while lying in bed thinking of all the years I spent online, I knew exactly what to do… I deleted 1.5k+ of the memes I had, unfollowed almost a hundred accounts, and I left half of the discord servers I was in, I'm gonna start trying to look tamer because I wouldn't be able to live with myself as a 100% normie but I'll try and be more normal and happy, I'll fix my relationship with everyone and try to make new friends that I can meet IRL, I will get back to my hobbies slowly and I will start learning more about all sorts of things and I'm gonna get better at school so I can secure a job when I graduate… I will have more to my life than the internet, the bits I experienced when I pushed myself to change felt great, I felt alive.
Hope this one sticks and I don't relapse into the madness that is internet addiction. life isn't too bad.
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Former neet here
I was a neet from age 15-18 with one year spent not leaving my room. I eventually had to get physiotherapy to recover my body from not leaving my bed for basically a year. There were a lot of reasons why I became a neet, but like most here, the biggest reason was mental health issues like PTSD, depression, anxiety and undiagnosed autism. At age 18 I spent a year in a mental institution and was eventually diagnosed which helped me a lot with figuring out how my brain works and how to make myself be productive, but interestingly, the mental institution wasn't what helped me get out of my behavior. A very traumatic event happened when I left the institution and after that I basically just… changed. I asked myself 'Why does this keep happening to me? Why are people so cruel?' and other self-pitying thoughts. What made me change was realising that I wasn't making things better by neglecting my health and that self-pity wasn't going to help me either. What's important is to be stern with yourself, but kind… And self-pity isn't self-care. After that I gradually learnt how to take care of myself and I started going to school again (better late than never) I stopped caring about trying to appease people and I just let myself exist and think about how I can improve to make me like myself more. I'm now 20 and finally on my last year of high school and I'm doing great! I want to get a job where I can help people and be useful. It really feels great knowing you're on the right track and being able to be proud of yourself… Don't give up! It will be hard in the beginning when you go out and try to change, but eventually you will feel that struggle is a part of you learning to respect yourself.
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Small steps are great, but what worked for me was throwing myself to adversity, confronting real life and doing the best I can. I wasn't a NEET but in high school I was depressed, had unhealthy habits and severe anxiety. Before going to college, I worked in retail for a few weeks at my parents' clothing store and that made such a difference. At the start I was a mess, made many mistakes and was uncomfortable all the time but with patience, perseverance, and the (healthy) pressure to do good, I got better, learnt a lot of skills, started feeling at ease in "real life situations" and ended every day feeling proud of myself.
Adversity makes us grow because it pushes us out of our comfort zone, feeling challenged and uncomfortable it's great for developing a thick skin and getting your priorities right, so I'd recommend you to get into an activity that it's safe, difficult but doable, like a sport that you always wanted to try, language classes or maybe a job at a familiar area
Is there a way to improve social/emotional intelligence alone in quarantine? I lost my two remaining friends recently, they cut me off and I'm all alone now. I'm not going to go into the details, but it all comes down to my lack of emotional intelligence. I'm super awkward socially and very often in social situations I realize retrospectively that I behaved insensitively or unempathically. I also have a staggering fear of emotional intimacy, I find it super hard to open up. Whenever someone asks me personal questions, I feel attacked, although I know I shouldn't. Whenever I'm in any sort of a relationship I feel a strong inclination to cut it off, be it a friendship or a romantic relationship, because in my head, being alone = safety, but at the same time I crave closeness. How do I change this? I feel lost, they were my only friends
There's literally no other motivation to get a job than money.
Everything else a job gives you can get with a fulfilling hobby or activity. It's just about the money. You won't get your kick in the butt. It's take it or leave it.
>>700066>I have degrees but they're useless humanities, I don't have any work experience.
I feel so bad for some of you anons who put down the worth of your degrees just because that's what you've heard by an online echo chamber that stands to benefit from you passing up opportunities you don't think you qualify for.
You have transferable skills, you have an education. While it will take more tailoring, you absolutely can create a narrative that demonstrates how your skills match a job description. If you're not already doing it, make sure you copy and paste the job description into your resume and personalize it by applying anything relevant you may have done throughout your education.
Wrote an essay? Then you utilized computer software to write correspondence and reports.
Worked in a group? Then you've collaborated projects and are a communicative team player.
Stood in front of a classroom? Then you've presented research and answered questions.
It's not extrapolation, you just need to know how to frame your experience. Also look into ATS and other forms of employment application trickery that make shit easy for employers, even qualified candidates don't get far if they don't understand how modern application systems work. Failing that, pay a service to rework your resume for you.
The missing work docs will be your biggest hurdle but you could use this time to craft a very convincing resume that's not bullshit.
t. BA and MA degree anon who currently works alongside BS degree holders and engineers
Oh ok. I always thought that your job is supposed to give your life meaning and while I guess it's true for some, it doesn't click for me.>>704527
Thanks, I'll look into it.
Well, your parents aren’t wrong. The curse or “working for a living” painfully continues for the rest of your life, sadly.
Can you not change your job to something else? Maybe work at a cafe? Customer service jobs can be very draining if you hate every aspect of the job.
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Welfare is generous enough in this country that I can spend my day helping my family with their gardens, do a little cash work and lease out my spare bedrooms and still cover my mortgage and bills. It's actually unbelievable that I'm getting $1,600 a month plus another $1,200 from the bedrooms I lease out.
If I planned on having kids, I'd get back out and work (if I could). But there's realistically no reason for me to ever get a job again. Every year I'm making around $30,000 in capital on my house and interest rates are just going lower and lower (I'm paying 5.4% atm, but come October I'll be set around 2-3% and will have an extra $100 to play with a week).
I think the trick to NEETdom is to get rid of all screens. I took a crowbar to my computer after using it 14 hours a day during Covid and regressed back to a dumbphone. I'm doing 6-8 hours of tasks a day, but it's in the form of baking, landscaping, helping family and lockpicking (a hobby). The only hard spot is at nights where I'm a bit lonely and there's nothing to do.
It's specific to australia and New Zealand, pic related really helped me a lot. If you read through it and apply everything that's applicable to your life, you'd be able to live the same life as a minimum wage worker but with the freedom of NEETdom. Scrounging money and cashies is much more psychologically satisfying than working a menial job. Of course the ideal is to get a career, but if you've got psychological problems like me and you struggle to hold jobs (I was making $80,000 a year on oil and gas sites before severe mental illness made it so I couldn't hold a job for long) then NEETdom + no screens + hobbies + financial discipline is the way to go.
My previous job made me feel exactly the same, it was horror, eventually I felt brave enough and went for a change and it was infinitely better. I hope you can find something else for yourself too, like >>722720
said, maybe not customer service related?
>>723350>you'd be able to live the same life as a minimum wage worker but with the freedom of NEETdom.
In my country welfare is $400+rent is autonatically paid that is not allowed to be over $500, any credit contracts are rejected and any extra money you make is being taken unless you get off welfare.
Posting from the library yeah, I need to run an advert to get another renthog in so here I am. >>723586
That's the way nature works. Rentpiggies and taxpiggies pay, NEETs and landlords relax.
I was heading down the NEET route and then I got the news that my mom was dying..I realised that living alone with my dad would be fucking hell. That motivated me to get up and go be an adult.
A year later my mom was dead and my dad sold the house and moved to the absolute middle of nowhere. Glad I got out.
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What kind of job is best if you have chronic migraines and depression (pretending the pandemic isn't a barrier)
When I look this up it recommends things horrible for these conditions, like computer jobs (makes head worse) and ones where you are your own boss (unwise if you have depression)
I'm in online school but plagued by migraines I just wanted to stop being a NEET. I wish I simply didn't exist