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Previous thread: >>472904
Tell it all, anons!
The janitor is an asshole, don't worry about him.
As for the rest, I understand your frustration anon. What's done is done and beating yourself over it won't help. For now you can focus on resetting your sleep schedule. Take care!
It's especially hard at uni and I feel the same way. All the professors that like me are in the transcult and my uni friends would think I'm evil if I ever let them know. My gender studies class definitely frequently got hijacked and it was honestly painful to be the only one in a room who disagreed. I would have anxiety attacks over going to class.
I feel a lot better though when I go to work and hear people openly disagree. Most people outside the academic setting don't buy the trans shit. I'm just scared bc it might fully seep into normie culture too.
Apparently my Hinge date must have been recently sick because now since I saw him Friday I'm sick as a dog. I even asked him if he was feeling okay when he seemed off, yet he said everything was ok and blamed it on some other medication. Except I later saw he had cold meds and boogers in his nose, so he lied for his own self serving reasons.
It's too late now. I know it's possible to have caught it from someplace else but I doubt it. It makes me hate him.
I have a fever, chills, aches, congestion, and a swollen throat from the nasal drip. No health insurance (not that it would matter, I think what I have is viral and docs can't do shit for it besides charge a co pay for showing up).
My new job is really chill in that they let me take a long lunch and and early out yesterday, plus a late show today. Supervisor even asked if I should stay home but I came in. I basically can't sleep until I'm exhausted because of the mucus in my airways and general discomfort, so all I'd do at home is lie in wakeful suffering anyway. Oh and I would need to make up the hours to get my 40 in so nah.
I tried to grab a soda from a vending machine on my way in. But apparently I only have $1 left in my fucking bank account ($17 if you count the pathetic $16 I have in "savings"). Thanks to this recruiter that I got this job through, who's allegedly sending me a paper check in the mail for my first week of work. Direct deposit be damned, they can't even guarantee my next check will be direct deposit. It's bullshit but I have no say.
Pretty sure a debt collector for Paypal is calling me because I missed my payment a couple days ago so now they're all bothered at me for money as well. I've tried calling PayPal before when I thought I'd miss a payment, and all the representative told me was that they don't offer help so if it went to a collector that's when I could negotiate it. So whatever, I let it slide because fuck those assholes.
The good news is all I have to do is sit my ass in this cubicle and bank pay until 6:30pm. Unfortunately it's only 10am.
It could be worse. I could be at one of my old jobs threatening me with points and occurrences and whipping me to do flips for customers from the time I'd clock in.
Damn anon. Old people can be poorfags too. Not all boomers grew up fortunate and now they're as fucked as we are + they're old.
Sure, some are just there to ~have something to do in retirement~ but for many it's just sad circumstances.
Idk maybe I'm too soft and forgiving haha.
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This is such a fucking first world problems/"just close the fucking tab" vent but my whole twitter feed is full of nothing but Disney+ and Pokemon discourse.
I like to go through my explore feed and read whatever news or top stories are on there, but today it's just overwhelmingly about Disney. Like… it's a streaming service, why is it taking up half of the explore page? I wish I could mute the word disney but I'm pretty sure muted words don't get blocked on explore/searches unfortunately.
I also keep seeing discourse about Pokemon, with people still shitting on Gamefreak about not including the national pokedex and now getting upset about the animation for one of the apparent legendaries looking like shit anyway. I'm so used to people whining about the national dex, but now I keep seeing people attack others who are still eagerly awaiting the game nonetheless by saying that they're just shitty apologists and making excuses for Gamefreak's shit game, acting so holier than thou with their "I'm criticizing Gamefreak because I want them to put out a good game!" as if it's that big of a deal. It's a fucking children's game, just don't buy the game if you're that miffed about it. Maybe it's because I'm a filthy casual gamer, but I'm still going to buy SS and I'll probably enjoy the shit out of it.
Not to be all "Not my
generation!" but I genuinely believe millennials are gonna be less entitled and more altruistic by the time we are at retirement age.
If not because
1. We've been made to work shit and underpaid jobs so what's a few years when we're a foot in the grave?
2. We've never been told it will be easier or that we will have a safety net by the time we are that old. So we already expect a shitshow by the time we're in 'retirement' age. It's hard to be entitled to something that you knew was never gonna be around.
you're really giving our generation too much credit.>we've been made to work shit
no, most of you just stick to working retail and are too afraid to work in warehouses and other types of jobs where you're supposed to get your hands dirty. it's an option we all have and majority of these positions don't require a college degree.
So why do social skills magically don't apply when boomers are barely able to communicate?
Also here I always see boomers work in retail or fast food, jobs reserved for teens and college kids. It's just hypocritical to refuse to hire hard working and capable young people over dumb shit but turn around and hire elderly who can barely do their job right
I almost got hit today while I was driving.
This is hard to explain but I'll try my best. I was driving through a yellow light and the guy in the opposite side, who was turning left, also wanted to zoom through the yellow light. I saw him going through the light and I was like well shit, but it was too late to stop at that point, I was already past the white line. I tried to speed up so that we wouldn't cross paths, but I wasn't fast enough, and his car was going directly at me. I thought he would stop or at least slow down but he didn't, he just kept going directly at me. His car was so close to me that I literally had to swerve so that he wouldn't hit me and if I didn't swerve he definitely would have. Not only that, but his car would have hit exactly where I was sitting, not the back seat or another part of my car. I probably wouldn't have died, but still.
Neither of us were in the wrong per se, neither of us were running a red light, but he HAD to know he was going to hit me if I didn't swerve. He was SO CLOSE to my car and kept going????? It was like he was intentionally trying to hit me which I find upsetting.
There are hardly any warehouse jobs where I live, and the ones that do exist have requirements that stop me from working there. Trust me, I'd much rather get my hands dirty and be sore than work retail all day, but retail places are the only ones that will hire me.
Also most factory jobs have been outsourced.
Your phone was probably dirtier than the piss water in the first place KEK>>482714
This shit makes me mad too. Like i just get frustrated, because you know they're harassing randos for not agreeing with them or someone agrees but they're not mad enough as them so they just assume they're the "enemy" or something. Honestly they need to calm down, I just try to see the humor when they grasp at straws and see how ridiculous it is. I'm just glad most children don't actually care and just want to enjoy their Pokemon and Disney movies. I mean, us as children, compare to what they're getting now to what we've grown up with. We didn't care either lol.
You must be naive, most warehouse and non-retail positions pay way more than retail. And many people who have these jobs also go to college AND have children to take care of. Don't make up excuses.
College is a choice and a privilege. I know tons of people my age who have college degrees, are out of college, and they are still working retail and now talking about how they have student loans to pay off. Every time I tell someone to start looking in non-retail positions, it suddenly goes in one ear and comes out of the other and then weeks later they keep complaining about how they hate their retail jobs.
I had one retail position, got paid $10.50 an hour. I didn't last a year. I was constantly waited on by customers and co-workers who couldn't pick up the slack on my shift. I didn't get enough break time, most days I had no break time at all, I was working for 7 hours straight. My hours were never consistent or even with the schedule, some weeks I got 12 hours in, others I got in 38. And all of this messed up my sleeping schedule, especially nights I closed and the next day I had to open. My supervisor didn't care when I brought up these issues and neither did HR. I would come home exhausted as fuck, some days I cried before getting ready to go to work because I just wasn't getting paid enough to deal with this shit.
I decided to start looking for a new job and found a janitorial position that paid $12 an hour. It was full time and 2nd shift. Getting that job was the best decision I ever made. My time was consistent, I was guaranteed a 2 day weekend, and the majority of the work was just me emptying out trash bags, wiping tables, and mopping a few floors. The bathroom shit was nothing new because that was also part of my position when I worked retail. The best part was, I chose my own pace. I didn't have to rely on any co-workers and my co-workers never relied on me.
I'm now working a different position getting paid $15 an hour and majority of my work is just observing cameras and driving around in a vehicle with flashers on. The best part about this job is the fact you don't need any degree, just a high school diploma. I have a coworker who's fresh out of high school and he tells me he's so glad he never had to step his foot into retail.
I wish people could stop being jealous about my ltr and most important I wish people could stop trying to sabotage kek
Just because I don’t tell everything about my relationship it doesn’t mean it’s not perfect to me. One close friend is always making small comments about every thing I say about my partner and it’s pretty obvious she only does it because she’s jealous. I mean, why does she have to care about what my partner eats tomorrow? I didn’t ask for her opinion anyways.
People came to me multiple times telling me some things she said about my relationship and even they questioned why she was being so judgemental (also they told me every time they thought she was just jealous kek)
Idk…I could make a list of things she said and did but it’s so childish I think I would start laughing. She didn’t even think we would be last longer and she made sure I knew it when we were starting and now we’re here, 8 years later, happier than ever and she can’t stop.
Yesterday out of the blue she started to ask how much monkey my partner earned and when I told her something in between she was all pissy and replying only with emojis (smiley faces, aaw, ok….)
Last week she asked me if we wanted to marry anytime. I told her yes, some day, in the future. And then she started to talk about how being married ruins it all and that she knows it would probably happen to us because statistics are there.
It’s kind of funny somehow because I feel like she has these moments when she’s holding her rage and at any time she can explode and that’s when she asks me those questions, waiting for me to fuck up or say the wrong thing. Then I stare at my phone laughing because it’s pretty absurd, thinking she’s trying to get me all hurt and sad when it’s not going to happen.
She was always this extroverted girl, funny and sarcastic but she has something which makes her not being seen as a potential girlfriend. I feel kind of cruel saying it but it’s true, she always ended with guys who only wanted to sleep with her and that’s when it ended (her longest relationship only lasted four months)
And I feel sorry for her because if she didn’t act like a child and started to be a nice person, I’m sure she’d be in a happy relationship too. What she does reflects what she is and obviously when she has a date with someone and the only think she talks is about herself and bad about other friends, people ran away.
Then she wonders why people don’t tell her anything…
If you also have no paper towels or napkins, bring a plastic container into the bathroom with you so you can put water in it so you can wipe your ass clean.
Also, why can't you go to the store? There's none you pass while driving to work or school? Any busses that stop by a store?
Fifteen kms from the bus, forty kms too far out for delivery, I don’t drive because disabled, and nobody in the house gives a shit that there’s no tp or tissues until they need it.
I’ve been showering but can’t really take ten showers a day even if they’re quick. I’m legit convinced that the goal is for me to get a uti. Last week I brought home a ten pack of bog roll and three other people managed to use or hide all ten rolls before I needed a second one. It’s pretty normal that my needs come after family wants. The reason nobody could get any today was because of knitting and going to the movies.
Yeah once someone else needs to take a dump the fact that there’s no tp will become an immediate problem and they will go buy some right then and there. Just not, y’know, when the packet is empty or when the one person in the household who tracks groceries says we’re out.
Same goes for food, I basically stopped baking entirely cause a sheet of brownies or fudge would be 75% gone before my bf was home to try it. He’d get home just in time to hear complaints because what I cooked had stuff they’re mildly allergic to in it.
Saving up to move, but it’s so shit in the meantime.
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I'm high key jealous of anyone who loses their appetite when they're stressed, depressed, or sick. It's always the opposite for me.
I'm sick as a mf right now but all I wanna do is eat everything even if I couldn't taste more than half of what I'd eat. The only thing that would stop me are literal physical barriers like an extremely sore throat or vomiting but even during that I'd feel starved the whole time.
I need to be put down.
Honestly same,anon. My roommate entirely loses her appetite when stressed out and mine just ramps up to 1000.
You can try snacking on healthy things! Not exactly what the cravings are calling for I'm sure but it's better than shoveling down garbage.
Me too, anon. But I think when it comes to physical ailments it may be the body's attempt to get more nutrients to heal. So eat healthy stuff, like the other anon said. It can't hurt.
Perhaps even emotional eating is caused by this? Sort of like how anxiety can make you feel sick, the body thinks it's sick but really you're just stressed.
Idk. I'm no doctor.
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Its been a month after a close friend broke up with me, i still felt so sad and clueless after all these times…i thought she was the one, we got along well on everything from everyday life, weeb shit to the things/people that we hate. I always wonder what i did wrong, but after she list everything that she hate about me it was the last straw, the sweet and kind friend image in my mind before was gone instead it was replace by something demented and evil. It was hurtful to the very core of my existence, the sad thing is we have a lot of mutual so whenever i saw her liking their photos i felt like i was not worthy of her time and love…im still learning how to move on now, it still hurts but im getting better, im not letting anyone into my life anymore after this because i need time to heal, like really heal.
psst there is no shame in blocking someone if you need a break. social media is weird and forces us to keep interacting with people we need to step away from. it should be a leisure activity not an active minefield imo.
if i want people to be mean to me I come here lol
That the fucking worst.
My friend once fell onto a fence (flat not spiked) and she had to go to the hospital cause it hit her between the legs and she bled like a mf.
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I'm still not over cutting ties with my home town area. Basically, a shitty childhood lead me to act out at some point and unfortunate, really embarrassing events. I cut ties out of shame and because of all the trauma with my family. I guess I'm lucky I didn't get bullied all these years but I still felt out of place and misunderstood and like I was constantly being scrutinised and nitpicked for every little thing and every little oddity. Gossip is crap, too, and didn't help my feeling of alienation (I shall make an effort not to gossip).
Now I feel like a scrutinised second-class person for having a mental illness and doing my darndest to recover and live well but never meeting normie expections by a long shot. It never really goes away that I long for that approval and acceptance and put myself down. Kinda my job to develop that secure sense of self but fuck it's hard a lot of times.
Just the other day, a childhood friend unfollowed me on an obscure art account of mine they had found somehow after some time and it really got to me. It's a non-issue really but stands for such much loss and pain and lost potential and dreams of an irretrievable dream life I could lead with childhood area ties intact. And it also makes me wonder why and if it was because of the same painful scrutinity I used to experience when it could be a billion things and not that deep and her following me doesn't mean that much either. It just makes me angry and stirs up stuff because of everything that was.
I mean it's all a non-problem for the most part and normal and ~societal~ and due to my emotional challenges and bad life experience but I just need to cope with the fact that I don't have healthy, wholesome relationships with the people from my childhood and youth somehow. Part of me longs for that and needs to do some healthy grieving and accepting. It's not easy to allow that pain and grieve it and move on from it. But I can do it and it will be fine. I'm in a good place. Life is livable. It's good. It can be good. Become good. I have prospects
Anon I didn't even mess up yet even I am not really friends with most people from my childhood anymore and I have limited interaction with the few friendships I have from my hometown.
I know you're telling yourself it's meant to mean something, but it doesn't and it's pretty normal for anyone whose peak wasn't in middle or high school.
I'm finding it harder and harder to talk to my bf. He has almost no thoughts or opinions on things and doesn't think much beyond surface level, even when it comes to his interests. Whenever I make a comment on something he throws out his generic stock phrases like "it is what it is" or "I don't know about that." It's how he talks to other people as well. I hate it because it shuts down the conversation completely.
I don't think he understands feelings well either, because he constantly remarks about not understanding how people get upset, angry, or nervous, like it's a choice to have that sort of instant reaction. I tried to explain it to him, and he didn't really get it until I brought up something that made him upset recently (staying late at work). He even has panic attacks sometimes too, but he can't seem to make the connection to that and other people also having instant emotional reactions?
He has very good qualities like being extremely loyal, helpful, and very generous in bed but spending time with him is mindnumbingly boring sometimes. I am very introverted and stay home a lot so it's not like I need to be on some emotional roller-coaster. I just like having interesting and heartfelt conversations with people close to me. It makes me sad because I can talk to my best friend for hours about a multitude of things (and she and I are dumb NEETs) but I can't even muster up a good conversation with my bf…
I don't even know how to bring this up. He would be understanding for sure (another thing I like about him is that he is mature and knows we need to bring up and talk about problems instead of letting them fester), but I don't think he would be intuitive or smart enough to know how to change, even if I give him direct examples.
I don't think that's necessarily true. You can have plenty of good qualities besides your occupation. I still have savings so I'm good, and if I have to I will work free-lance which doesn't make the most but I can live fine off of it. I still have things I'm passionate about, but climbing the corporate ladder is not one of them.
I mean I used to have an ex that was what most people would consider "high quality." He made 300k a year and was attractive, but didn't have hobbies or a personality besides work and I couldn't see a future with him. People are more than checklists, and that's why you need to get to know the person more than defining them by labels.
their are definitely a couple of anons who are somewhat "resentful" against Neets with caring bfs, believing those Neets aren't "deserving" of them
Its kinda like standard nice guy tier rhetoric "why does becky date brad he's such a deadbeat jerk, she should be with a nice guy like me"
It's silly because most NEETs have low self-esteem and tend to be preyed upon by abusive
men anyway, so shouldn't people be happy for them, they aren't being mistreated for once? Once again women are meant to feel like they have to compete for a good man, there are plenty of them out there so there's no need to fight over them like they are some sort of limited resource. They should be fighting over us.
You suck at math. There are more good women than good men. Unless you're expecting women to double up, women will have to fight for the good men.>>483226
It's because we are all so jealous of you NEETs.
Lesbians are like 5% of the population anon. Most women are straight or seeking heterosexual relationships.
I would say that 70% of women are good and straight and 20% of men are good. What do lesbians do with anything? There's just way more good straight women than good straight men.
Ok, I believe you have surveyed every human being in the world and come up with accurate statistics. Just because you see women on here and reddit putting up with shitty abusive
men doesn't make them good people, they just have low-self worth and like I said, the scarcity mindset. They redirect their hatred inwards instead of outwards like scrotes tend to do, but it doesn't make them good people or partners. It makes them desperate and sad.
Maybe that's why you see there being more good women than men.
>reduce the competition
Lmao, no. I don't see other women as my competition but my allies. I'm telling women to value themselves more and have men fight for them, not the other way around. We are meant to choose and men are meant to impress and be useful to the woman, it is like that in most species. Men literally kill themselves over us. There is no need for us to fight each other.
I'm advocating you don't need to extend yourself to please men and you're twisting my words somehow. I keep saying men should go out of their way to please you not the other way around.
Casual sex/fwb/one-night stands are cancer and don't benefit women but men.
The way I see things:>any job at all>supportive/not abusive>compatible sense of humour>not dangerously obese
Is the bare minimum standard for every guy on the planet that no woman should should settle for anything less than. Though if you're shooting anything more than this, like say chiseled abs, a six figure salary, or an intelligence that puts Hypatia to shame you really ought to bring something more to the table as well.
>>483243>Men literally kill themselves over us. There is no need for us to fight each other.
Men only do that for certain women lmao
You just sound delusional and you believe in the Secret or something>>483247
I'm just being honest. You're being delusional.
And you sound like a pick-me who is desperate for whatever scraps they can get. Let's agree to disagree.>>483251
I have no idea how you thought I was advocating polygamy. I just don't believe in the 20% bullshit. I think there are enough good men for good women and it's nowhere skewed to 20%/70% like that one anon said.
It sounds like you're arguing with that Mary chick lmao.>weird reverse incel logic>mix of pinkpill and pickme mindset
>>483252>I have no idea how you thought I was advocating polygamy.
The part where you started talking about men killing each other. There's still plenty of places where it's normal for men to outright kill each other to claim the most wives, and I assure you that none of them are enjoyable places to live.
Yes, the most attractive women have plenty of suitors to choose from, but the most attractive men have admirers as well. Your dream man is most likely the dream man of many, and outside of polygamy he can't possibly marry all of them. Show him you're a better match than everybody else by stepping up your game or accept he's out of your league and lower your standards accordingly.
>>483252>I just don't believe in the 20% bullshit. I think there are enough good men for good women and it's nowhere skewed to 20%/70% like that one anon said.
You sound delusional and a pick me. How the fuck can you believe that more than 20% of men are good?>>483254
You never answered my point. If there's way more good women than good men, then some women will have to fight or choose to do without. It's just reality. >>483260
This so much.
Not just attractive, but good quality. In my opinion a good quality man isn't promiscuous. An physically attractive man who sleeps with many women is not a quality partner. And you should put your best foot forward for sure, but a woman should never be a pick-me because women are the ones who pick and choose, not men. If he doesn't like you for who you are or you're not compatible it's not your role to change yourself to suit him. There are plenty of other men.>>483261>How the fuck can you believe that more than 20% of men are good?
Come on, this is like with MGTOW or TRP who think barely any good women exist. You can't see it with limited world view and bias.
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Nobody is saying you should act like a pickme. You shouldn't a be a June that looks the other way while a Greg spends your money on strippers. What we're saying is that the more effort you put in to becoming your best self the more men you'll get to choose from. Desperate and generally undesirable men will line the block for anyone, but the men that are generally regarded as superior will only ever pursue who they regard as the best women.
Yeah I bleed a fucking lot too even tho it's not that deep I guess Idk I can't see everything.
My underwear looked like a crime scene lol
Hope your friend didn't have too much pain tho!
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>be slim look old
>be fat look young
I just came across a pic of myself at 15 - and jesus christ, it's no surprise why nobody liked me, I look extremely bad and old. Not like a teen who could pass as a hot 20-year-old, but old as in stressed, working 24/7 and being 30+.
I'm not fishing for compliments, I still look bad now, but while my body is disgusting my face looks a lot younger, my nasolabial folds are less prominent and because my cheeks are chubbier my nose no longer looks as big and my jaw no longer that square.
I have such a hard time losing weight and knowing that this (+9 years and lose skin…) will await me just makes me lose all hope.
But they probably wouldn't have become friends in the first place if she wasn't an accomplished woman in her own right. Her outward achievements were manifestations of other inner qualities that good men can find attractive. Showing off your attractive qualities by achieving things in life is a better dating strategy than being a layabout NEET.
Go easy on yourself.
Humans are complicated and the truth to being liked is more complex than just how you look as a factor. Being harsh and superficial on yourself is likely to project in your outward demeanor and carry the vicious cycle of attracting shallow and judgemental people.
You are a valuable person who's got something to offer. I'm not saying you are–but old, tired, fat, and ugly women are deserving of relationships and companionship all the same. And as we age, we'll come to accept that one way or another. Don't beat yourself up, just be the best you can be.
You honestly look cute in that pic anon, you have a nice jawline.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Has anyone in the dating scene noticed an influx of obese and ugly dudes thinking they're king shit?
I'm all for confidence, but a lot of these dudes have unrealistic expectations and are awfully nitpicky of women who are even a league above them if they possess a flaw.
I've especially noticed the behavior in fat dudes lately.
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This and old guys saying they don’t want an older lady. fuck right off older men, no younger girl wants you unless you have the money to make up for it
I feel like men are used to their looks not being as important because all they see in movies is guys like Adam Sandler being married to Kate beckinsale in movies
Older male celebrities will marry a teenybopper supermodel every 5 years. Even some ladies I know of in real life are really pretty, yet they get with the ugliest hambeasts because they think that’s what they should settle for. I don’t know why society shills unattractive males and attractive females to be together
Samefag as >>483384
but another thing is girls probably think that if they give an ugly nerdy guy a chance, they’ll be better than a handsome douche
They are the fucking worst. The audacity of these cockroach ass males irks me to hell and back never get with a guy out of pity, ladies. You deserve the best, don’t ever feel pressured into dating an ugly guy.
Honestly I really wanted to get into lolita and similar fashion, but I hate the fact that it's associated now with submissive ddlg nymphos or sissies. At it's core it's extremely modest, cute clothing that isn't remotely revealing, why does that have to be objectified? It makes me sick.>>483384
Women getting memed into ~looks don't matter it's personality that does~ so they give fat/old fucks a chance and it feeds their ego like crazy. These men end up being more abusive
and cruel than your average guy. So you get the benefit of the guy looking like a bridge troll and acting like one. Great.
Sorry this is a late reply but thanks anon and I'm glad you're okay too (at least I'm assuming you are because you're typing). The weather here is usually really icy/snowy here which causes a lot of car accidents but thanks to global warming it isn't like that yet although it has been raining.
Anyways take care.
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I've got this lidded plastic organizer in my bathroom for qtips and cotton pads. This is the second time I've done this, but I went to lean in towards the mirror that accidentally pushed aside some stuff which caused a chain reaction that tipped the organizer onto the floor. Spilling the contents. There are qtips everywhere, even underneath that annoying crevasse between the wall and toilet.
I left it there. I don't want to pick it up. I hate it automatically.
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Gave a guy at work my discord because I thought since I have no friends irl it would be fine to do, but I was hesitant about giving a guy my contact information since I have a bf. We’ve had a few small convos about anime and just mundane convos about life, never happened to mention my bf. Today at work he gave me a small box of chocolates. I really hope he’s not developing feelings for me or thinking of asking me out, rejecting someone feels so uncomfortable. I’ll probably just try to find a way to mention my bf in the next convo we have but it still feels so awkward as a person who hates confrontation. I don’t know if some people will think I’m an idiot for being unhappy about a guy liking me, but it stresses me out and idk if the fact that I just ate a few of the chocolates makes me a shit person.
>>483476> I've seen memes and complaints about girls unnecessarily inserting "I have a boyfriend" into conversations early on
Yess, this is one of the reasons I was too anxious to mention having a bf and now I feel bad.
>you must try to find a way to casually fit a reference to your bf into the conversation as early as you can: "My boyfriend likes that too," "I did that once with my boyfriend" etc.
That’s exactly what I’m going to do even though I know it’ll feel awkward. I don’t really care if he stops talking to me because of it.
Your husband works? Does he get insurance through his job and would it be cheaper than $200 if he added you to his plan?
I know some employee plans are shit but that's part of the point about combined incomes when you're married.
I generally don't like law enforcement either, but I would definitely call them or go to a court house to file an order of protection if I felt like I were in danger.
I've done it twice before and it at least gave me relief knowing I wouldn't see them any time soon.
Whoever called you a bootlicker doesn't realize being in shock, you have trouble figuring out how to think critically. You wouldn't believe how many people call 9-1-1 because they're having a panic attack, it's almost first instinct. Also like you said, most people don't know they can go to a hospital. I don't remember being taught these steps in school, if anything it's told only once or twice.
Idk…there are a shit ton of mainlanders in Singapore>>483507
Do you think so? Their government seems extremely cucked.
It really shows who cares when you're sick and live alone. In my case, that would be no one- at least not enough to check on me or help with stuff. I wouldn't mind if it was a week or two, but I've had lung infection for like 2 months and I feel like crap. Can't do sports, I'm tired and unwell… and no one cares. It would be different if I lived with my family or had roommates, but I'm alone and super lonely. The one time I went out was because this one guy (not sure if we're friends) is suicidal and needed someone to spend time with him, take him to the doctor. I did so under the condition I'll go home because it's cold and I'm messed up. But no, of course he had me stay for long and now I feel worse. Not to say I'm being treated for depression and anxiety and somehow that's not something he considers. I wanted to help, it made me happy because he's going to get help now, but whenever we talk he just waits for me to finish my sentence to talk about himself. I don't want to be pessimistic or focus on dark thoughts, but the one I have is: I don't matter. I will never matter. People will only care slightly if I literally run to their rescue. Even my own parents message me mostly when there are things that need to be done, not to socialize. If I didn't post silly things on my social network or reach out to my "friends" and family first, no one would even know if I died. I'd be found half rotten in my "apartment" within a week. Or two.
I get that you're lonely anon. But if someone told me they had a lung infection that's two months in, I'd think it was highly contagious and particularly nasty sickness. People probably figure you need to spend time recovering as opposed to galavanting around. Just look at what that longish trip escorting your male friend to the doctor did to set you back.
What kind of infection even is this? >whenever we talk he just waits for me to finish my sentence to talk about himself
Typical male self-centeredness, plus he sounds on the spectrum. Got a male friend who does the same shit and he's autistic. Which is probably why he asked a sick woman to take him to the doctor, because he has blinders on and only thinks about his selfish needs.>>483571
Stop fighting everyone in the dumbass shit thread.
Yeah, I did, couple of times. I even opened up about this few times, as my therapist recommended. But after I saw no change, I became very discouraging.>>483596
Sure, I don't expect them to hang out, but it's not like I get concerned messages either. It may sound demanding but it would have been nice if my parents asked if I need help with groceries. Even if they didn't bring something or help carry the bags, I'd at least be happy they offered. It's not like I want to get people sick (one of the reasons going to shop for food is stressful now, because I don't want to contaminate anything).
It started out as mycoplasma pneumonia, not sure if I just caught something else as I was getting better or not and it's still just that. Antibiotics are kinda tricky since I'm allergic to few of them.
About that guy… yep, he's pretty self-centered. I felt bad though because he really has no one (admittedly, that's his fault). I know it's my fault for being stupid, but I guess hearing someone say they're suicidal mobilizes me.
(Sorry for ranting so much)
I will admit it is awfully weird that your family hasn't asked if you needed anything recently.
I've been fighting a nasty virus myself but at least I've had a member of my family ask if I needed anything.
Anyways, my friends are no show lol. I guess sick people are pretty boring and we generally aren't up to ultra fun things. Maybe they presume we don't want to be bothered, or have nothing to update with besides our conditions.
Anyway, my condolences anon. I hope you get well soon. Just wanted to relate and say you're not alone in your solitude. I'm not sure if it's a normal thing but I've never had friends much involved when I was sick. They avoid me haha.
I try to remember that everyone has their flaws and their own failures or embarrassments, that and as I get older I see how much we're all just winging it in life. The underlying feeling still annoys me but it helps that as an introvert I enjoy my own company
If you're more socially inclined I can see how that makes it harder. Positive affirmations can help (I know it sounds bullshitty) but they can help you slowly replace all that negative inner talk
Thank you! Knowing it's not always the norm makes me feel like I'm not missing out too much.
It's kind of funny because I think we should have many thoughts and topics to talk about when we're sick because, well, it's accumulating. As long as you're not asleep 3/4 of the day.
I hope you're doing better now.
Ever since I lost my job in April my depression and anxiety has been getting worse and worse. We (Me + Husband) live in an extremely small town (Walmart, a couple fast food places, a CVS, a couple banks, and a car dealership, thats it.)
I've applied literally everywhere, for every position, even the ones I didn't really have the qualifications for, and I've only had three interviews. We did OK at first because of our savings but now that is completely gone and after my husband gets paid we only have about $40 a week to use on groceries and gas.
I cant look for work outside of our shitty town because our car broke down, my husband gets rides to his work from his co-workers so its no problem for him, but I literally cant go anywhere, our apartment is starting to feel like a fucking prison.
I have no friends, I was homeschooled all my life so the 50ish friends I have on FB are all ex-coworkers or mutual friends of my husband, none of which ever really talk to me or interact with me, my instagram has quite a few followers but because I'm just an aesthetic account no one really talks to me on there either. I've had so little social interaction in the last six months that I can't do anything or go anywhere without my husband with me, just so he could talk to people so I wont have to.
Our walmart is a 1 hour walk, the CVS is next door to our apartment, but even if I need something CVS has I'll walk to the walmart instead just so I can use self-service check out and avoid contact with people.
I hate how I've become, I was never the most outgoing but I used to be able to talk to and laugh with strangers, I used to be extremely independent and headstrong, and now I cant even make eye contact, I feel so ashamed of myself and how little I'm doing with my life that the few people who used to talk with me occasionally I've completely cut off, now I have no one to talk to. Other than my husband, I dont have a single friend, and I hate it so much.
Between having no money, no job, and no friends I feel like I dont even need to be here.
I'm not suicidal, but I'm so fucking tired of what my life has become, if I had supportive friends, maybe I wouldn't be as bothered about my lack of job, if I had a good job, I probably wouldn't be bothered about my lack of friends. But without both I just feel like a husk of a person, with no personality, jusy wasting air.
I wake up, clean up a bit, check to see if any new jobs were posted, apply, then spend the next 16+ hours of my day refreshing fb and ig over and over. I dont even have the mental energy for my hobbies anymore. I feel like I'm in a constant state of autopilot, like I'm not even a living breathing human being, I just.. exist.
Your husband should in touch with your local food stamp office. Sounds like he makes just low enough to qualify for aid with you as a dependent. You can be the one asking for it too. When I was a NEET with no dependent, I was getting $400 a month for food and $60/week for gas.
If you’re not in school, the only requirement is that you have to /try/ to get a job. Their government work finding database is indeed on steroid, it may be a bit of traveling for you but I’m sure you’ll find something. People that specifically try to evade employment are made to do several hours of volunteer a week, easy mode, which can be put on resume too. On the other hand, if you’re qualified for food stamp then you can easily get FAFSA grant for college. I attended 4 full time semesters without having to pay a cent, in fact I had leftover grant money for books.
TLDR; reach out to government benefits/work force offices for options. There are resources out there if you want them.
I honestly can’t see myself having sex with a post op troon
Look up “trans women periods”
It’s just leftover blood, pubes and pus from the wound and they’re trying to label it a period, they have to shove a glass dildo up their fake hoo-ha every so often so the wound doesn’t close. FTMs can’t even get hard without pumping their fake wieners up and I can’t imagine how gross and floppy they would feel inside me,
the troon agenda is being pushed so hard you would think there are more of them, I’ve never met one personally idky they’re being normalized (and lumped in with the gays) when about less than 3% of the population is trans
Samefag as >>483829
but Fuck anyone who calls themselves Demi or ace. It’s not a real sexuality, and they just want to be a part of a smaller community
Yeah I need help deciding if I'm totally LGBTQXYZ. After all I am persecuted by society.
This a hypothetical question if you haven't got it…
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>catch a bunch of Pokemon Shield exclusives
>put them on surprise trade, hoping a like minded person with Sword is doing the same
>level 5 Wooloos and Nickits every time after 3 hours of trying
I just want a Swirlix or Farfetch'd, mannnn
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30% of the world's population is LGB, retard. 0.17% of the world population is troons. Where'd you get your 3% statistics?
The population rises because of troons and straight people identifying as queer.
Remove them and the population will be back to 1-2% again.
Nta but literally the first article you linked >percentage of American adults identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) increased to 4.5% in 2017
Also, one of you is talking about global
population while the other is referring to USA
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>mom calls me and informs me that she got a breast exam earlier this week and the doctor "found something"
>won't know if it's cancerous until after the weekend
>on top of that my step-dad had some complications due to his diabetes and got an infection on his foot
>had to have emergency surgery and get part of his foot amputated
>ON TOP OF THAT his job fired him this week so my family has no income now and won't until he recovers
>i have to find a way to pay for my college housing which means probably going into even more debt from loans
>i'm behind on my school work and it's nearing exam weeks so I'm hitting new levels of stress
>to top if off i got my period this morning so I feel like shit
If this all hadn't happened within of a week I'd be able to process it better, but I just feel overwhelmed. If anything happens to my mom I'm gonna jump off a fucking bridge…I'm sad for my step-dad but tbh this could have been avoided if he had actually told us something was wrong with his foot! Instead he ignored the signs and waited until it was too late, my mom is furious because she didn't even know anything was wrong for weeks. Only have one more semester of school left but I'm struggling to care about anything academic. Fuck.
Itayrt and …that's my point?
Eta: oops I'm an idiot I got the anons confused idk why I said the greentext part on >>484017
bc I'm agreeing with them. My mistake!
Can you count? you know theres a difference between 4.5 and 30%. 4.5 is considered super high and inflated already.>>484017>one of you is talking about global population while the other is referring to USA population.
See if it makes a diference, rest of the world is even less.
that's so fucking shitty anon, I hope your mom is okay and you figure everything else out>>484115
girl same, my legs are so fucking disgusting, even girls who are fatter than me usually have much nicer legs
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I'm so upset/pissed off/angry right now, this is gonna be so long and I'm sorry, honestly not even expecting anyone to actually read this lmao just wanna get it out
>coworkers with guy over a year, we both quit, we become friends for a while, start dating
>relationship started out amazing, took a downhill turn and deteriorated rapidly
>bf and I broke up 4 months ago after a 4 month relationship (his first relationship, my second)
>bf did douchey things while we were together, here's a few examples (but it's not everything)
>right after he got back from a 3 week trip, I gave him a blowjob and the entire time he kept looking over at his computer screen that was playing youtube
>after blowjob, we're cuddling in bed and he looks at his phone, has hundreds of pictures of anime girls that he's looking at, makes comments on the pictures like "wow I love the detail they put on this fit chick's abs"
>when he wanted me to leave after that he literally just said "I'm gonna hang out with my brother" and handed me my keys
>wanted me to go with him to a pub with his friends, I could have taken my own car but he wanted to drive me for some reason (which would have been find if not for what happened later)
>he has a few drinks
>he wants to sit in his car for 20-30 minutes to let alcohol ware off
>I'm talking about something completely unrelated to porn, he laughs as I'm in the middle of talking, I ask what he's laughing about and he says it's because him & his best friend have a pact to destroy the other one's computer if one of them dies because of the "grotesque pornography" on their computers
>we get in an argument about porn for the 3897th time
>he drives me home, I ask if he's sober enough to drive, he says "I think"
>I'm sarcastically like "oh I might kill my gf but that's okay"
>he's just like "yep"
>I know he was joking and probably didn't mean anything by it but it hurt my feelings, wtf
>whenever I told him something bothered me (like his porn habits, among other things) he'd say it was my mentality that made it bother me or that I had insecurity/self esteem issues
>when I expressed being bothered or disgusted by his habits, he'd act like I was just doing it to kink shame him instead of caring about my feelings
>we break up, I've told him repeatedly that I have abandonment issues, he says he doesn't want to abandon me and help me get on my feet (I was friendless & jobless)
>he says he wants to be friends and see me like once a month
>I say it will be harder for me to move on if we're still friends, but agree to be friends anyway because I have no other friends and will miss him
>however, he literally never texted me ever after we broke up
>I texted him once to say hi, texted him a second time a few weeks later to say I felt like he didn't want to be friends with me and was avoiding me
>he gets butthurt and says that I'm patronizing him and trying to make him feel bad, says he's "still having a hard time over our breakup"
>I text him again like a month later, asking him why he wanted to be friends with me, he just said it was because he didn't like being on bad terms with people and didn't think I was a bad person
>the last time I texted him he said that I was being "insensitive" (lmfao)
>yes, he makes jokes about killing me while driving drunk, and looks at porn in front of me after we have sex, but I'M insensitive
>I try to point out his hypocrisy time and time again but he never acknowledges it
>it literally drives me fucking insane that I can't make him see his own hypocrisy
>he never takes responsibility for his actions, always acts like the victim and I'm this evil abusive ice bitch who just wants to make him feel bad
>I realize I'm never going to get over him if we're still "friends", I need to break it off but don't know how
>I texted him yesterday just to test the waters and see how he acted
>we had a short conversation, I told him I missed him and he never replied
honestly there's way more I could say but this is already too long. I'm thinking of just blocking him instead of telling him I can't be friends. I hate it when people do that to me, but I'm pretty sure if he wanted to get rid of me he would just block me anyway. I would prefer a more conclusive end to this but I know that if I text him again he's just going to act like I'm bullying him and it's going to piss me off. and yes I know I'm a pathetic ass bitch.
He's immature and you're clingy. Sis, I'm saying this for your own good but if he really cared about you and prioritized you, he'd at least text you or reply when you do.
You're clasping onto him because you don't have anyone else, and that's the actual problem. If you had some other friends or even started to see someone else romantically, you wouldn't tolerate this treatment nor pursue him because you'd have another option.
Just block him, he's done enough to you.
You're being very toxic
. Your bf should be allowed to have fun with other people than you.
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My only option to have a somewhat normal life right now is to save up money, move to a different town and find a roomate. Might sound easy but I have no idea how, what or where to start. Most people who are looking for roomates are students and I'm not one, which means there's a chance I'd get kicked out once college or whatever ends. I'm also terrified of moving out to a bigger and somewhat unknown town.
What if I fail and just waste more time? I have to succeed asap because my parents won't be around forever and I can barely count on them now. I just want a stable life jesus fuck why is this so hard??
>>484283>What if I fail and just waste more time?
If you try moving it MIGHT be a waste of time.
If you do nothing it's 100% a waste of time.
People are saying you're overreacting, but I think you should think about why you feel paranoid and evaluate it.
Does he have an actual pattern of weird behavior and/or secrecy? Does he make it a continued point to exclude you from things? If this is the first time anything like this has happened, you can safely say it's nothing and chalk it up to your own personal hang-ups and maybe some jealousy (like you said). If he does
act this way often, though, then you might not be wrong to feel uncomfortable about this.
Even if there isn't some big reason he doesn't want you there, it's definitely possible that he's too callous (as in he doesn't look out for you and try to make sure you have good times, too). There are tons of guys like that, and they suck. Best of luck, anon.
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For the past two nights I've left Moomin episodes streaming on my laptop next to my bed while I sleep, and I've had crazy Moomin dreams. Adventures in my own fucked up dream sense, but it's cozy still having them there.
Do you nitpick his eye area in every photo he sends for evidence of catfishing?
Chill out anon, it's normal to feel self conscious about how you look and accepted that people only send the best possible photo. Guys normally can't tell the difference between a filtered photo and a bad photo either, if he's a decent guy and he likes you then it's not a problem. Rip the bandaid off and have a video chat.
Saw a post on reddit where a 17 year old wanted advice because her parents make her babysit younger siblings when they go out on date night. They didn't go into much more detail other than it annoying them because they want to do other things with that time. Of course there's a response of "You should check out the Raised by Narcissists sub" … and she starts a thread on there too. What is with people turning everything into abuse and narcissism? I see people directing teens to this board all the time over normal teenage disagreements with parents and convincing them their parents have serious personality disorders??>>484337
My experience with Bumble has been that guys on it aren't ones to put much effort into even keeping up a convo going. Have heard alot of similar experiences where guys on there are so casual about it that nothing comes out of all that chatting or even meeting them. It has a reputation for that
It was keeping an eye on her 12 and 13 year old sisters, hardly a disgusting task lol
Most people pointed out that 13 year olds don't even need babysitting so apart from just staying home what's so difficult?
Are you ESL?
Babysitting a 12 and 13 year old isn't literally disgusting. What's disgusting are parents who have the means and capability of hiring a babysitter but choose not to. Instead forcing their older child to watch after children that aren't her responsibility whenever they want to go out. Because her parents are 1. Cheap and 2. Think nothing of their own child's time and feelings.
It would be one thing if she volunteered her time, but otherwise it's fucked up that she can't have a life or any spare time cause she's bespoke to watch kids that aren't hers. Horrible. >>484373
Why carry on the relationship with that gutless coke addict? He's just making you feel even more lonely and worse.
Oh, no wonder you stan this. You'd do this to your own teenage daughter.
Newsflash: Your poor teenage daughter also wants money for her time, and if you're going to force her to do it out of guilt and obligation that's the least she can do while you stifle her independence in lieu for your selfish needs.
by babysitting lol
I'm not the one triggered
by a reddit story where everyone called this behavior narcissistic to the point where I had to bring it to lolcow for validation….
Btw, you're still wrong.
The teenager expressed their own need of wanting to do something else with their time and her parents steamrolled it because they put their own selfish desires first. These kids are not a teenager's responsibility.
If you see nothing amiss about that, I feel sorry for your kids.
once in a while is fine, but many parents appoint their eldest daughters as 2nd duty mom, caretaker, housekeeper, etc. to the point where it strips the girl of being able to explore herself and her world for herself. giving your children adult roles like that, or treating them live your mini therapist,or 2nd shift wife/husband is abusive
. I forgot what the term for it was tho.
This. Every time I see parents talking proudly about how their older kids take care of the younger ones, I feel bad. They've probably had to deal with that since the birth of their little brothers and sisters. When the oldest kids have to make sure the younger ones get up in time, eat right, get dressed etc. they miss out on their own childhood and are cursed with the feeling of constant worrying and fear for having to take such great responsibility at a young age. Like it's one thing to be there with your 13-year old sibling every now and then and make sure they don't have a house party or something and maybe warm up a pizza but when your parents make you miss out on your own personal life due to your obligation to babysit it's just unfair and all sorts of inappropriate.
And naturally it ALWAYS happens to daughters. No parent ever made their son look after the younger siblings.
>>484405>And naturally it ALWAYS happens to daughters.
This right here.
I know firsthand because my mom is perpetually bitter at my grandma for forcing it on her to constantly watch her two younger brothers when they were growing up. Even sicker is if they caused trouble or hurt themselves, she'd get the blame. What's more is that not only was babysitting used as a tool to take the burden off her parents, but they "kept her busy" constantly as a form of control.
She placed a lot of inappropriate expectations and responsibilities on me as a kid, but one thing she never asked me to do was babysit. She fucking knew.
His behavior won't get better after you get a job, anon. You'll just be the maid after you've come home from a day of work, having to pick up and clean while he plays video games. The least you can say right now is that you're not paying half the bills to be treated this way, but in the end, no mature adult comes home and goes straight to funsies all the time.
Don't settle for it, you deserve better. Let him live with some slobby girl who doesn't give a shit if the place is a pigpen.
>>484405>No parent ever made their son look after the younger siblings.
???? This is insane and not even close to being true. I've definitely seen enough Intervention episodes to know (lol). Sure, girls mostly get stuck with this type of duty, but no
has done this to their son? That's ridiculous.
jesus christ calm down anon. kids babysitting other kids for a short amount of time is good as it teaches them to be responsible. stop thinking in such an extreme black/white way.
baby sitting younger siblings =/= your demon parents have stolen your entire childhood.
That's true, I don't nitpick his photos at all. Thank you anon. I think it's just my anxiety acting up + PMS that's making me a bit emotional about my face, especially since I've broken out in spots.
It really helps to hear common sense from someone else though, thanks again. <3
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Thank you anon, I needed this.
He needs to go through the proper channels in court to prove the mother is purposefully canceling and switching up plans in order to cut his visits shorter.
If he's not willing to put in the money and effort to win his son, then what's the real purpose of showing tears around you…
And by the way, unless his son is attached to you in some way this isn't your fight. You can be supportive, but I really hope you aren't doing any legwork for his responsibility.
Not to mention why they're supervised
visits. Very curious for such a concerned father willing to provide.
I mean I did say we are taking legal action for this, he’s never actually given up on this fight. It’s just disheartening dealing with it to begin with, definitely worthy of tears. He didn’t do anything before now because his living situation couldn’t accommodate a child, but it’s changed since. I haven’t met his son because the mom doesn’t trust me, doesn’t like that I want to be involved in any way (she told us to go have our own kids if I want a kid that bad, missing the point entirely). My only ‘legwork’ is reading up on stuff to make sure we do everything properly and spellchecking lol. >>484544
Their divorce was messy, she cheated on him multiple times and wouldn’t go to couples therapy despite him pushing for it. Her family doesn’t know this and her mom encouraged supervised visits (also made her get child support taken out of his paychecks, despite always paying early and occasionally extra) because she explained everything without ever mentioning the real reason they were splitting up. Of course he seemed crazy lmao. He was a stay at home dad when his son was an infant and that worked out really well for them, plus we babysit for my family occasionally.. so from what I’ve seen, I wouldn’t be worried about him alone with a child. I was wary of the fact that they were supervised in the beginning too and wondered if marriage would make him show me a side of him that was alarming.. but nope, nothing.
>>484548>his living situation couldn’t accommodate a child, but it’s changed since
Well hopefully he can prove that it is.>I haven't met his son, the mother doesn't trust me
Put yourself in her shoes: Would you want your son to become involved and possibly confused with an ex partner's girlfriend? When that ex hasn't even proven that he's fixed up his own living situation yet?
I'd be watching out for my kid too. This is reasonable and it's not an attack against your character so don't take it that way. >she cheated on him multiple times and wouldn't go to couple's therapy
This is a he-said she-said. How do you know this for a fact? How do you know he's not the cheater?>her family doesn't know this
Convenient. >made her get child support taken from his paychecks
This is standard and only a retard wouldn't do it. If he was paying early and extra on his own then this should have been a non-issue for him…yet he's complaining. >he was a stay at home dad while his son was an infant
Yikes. Unemployed while making the baby mama work, and she had time to cheat on top of all this? Or did he?
I think you're being sold on a tall tale anon.
I think your involvement, while good intentioned, is inappropriate and any decent man would have been ashamed to have gotten you involved to this degree.
You're free to think and support what you want, but I see a lot of bullshit in this. I really do.
Agree. My bf has a kid and he'll get upset over how he states the mother is, but he also doesn't go out of his way for his son or anything. My dad left my family when I was wee and I've got the normal daddy issues, so it really breaks my heart to see a dad not really giving a fuck. The mother of his son he says she cancels and messes plans up but I've known he's cancelled or not got replied back to the mother in good enough time. He has a good paying job and sometimes gets on even at me that he's the only human in the planet with a stressful job and office hours lol.
I've felt bad that the mother didn't let his son see his dad because of him dating but they were never together and he moved out before his son was 6 months.
I'll snap at my bf sometimes and bitch him out if he's making rude comments against the mum. My own mum always encouraged us to see my dad and I remember my brother use to be a dick and refuse to see my dad. I remember a few times I cancelled or told my mum I was suck because kids are sensitive and sometimes it'd be too overwhelming for me to see my dad so I think that's also something to consider, does the kid feel comfortable to see his dad? I know it's tough and it's hard to know boundaries when you don't live with a kid.
Honestly if a man has a good wage and just pays the bare minimum court ordered child payments I don't think they can dictate to the actual mother the schedule which is what I've witnessed from my bf. We've been together a few years and the ball has always been in his court. He even told me he has missed payments to his son and felt bad, but the week before he had been out partying etc.
If anons bf can prove the mother is intentionally fucking over the kids relationship I hope it works out for everyone but it's not the other women's battle. I think the most respectful thing to do is just be mindful of the parent that lives the day to day with the kid.
Can we hold the retards who'd vote for Trump again accountable instead of acting like it's the rest of the country's onus to provide the most agreeable candidate for everyone when that's never going to happen?
Quit voting for that fucker.
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This is superficial and really not a big problem, but just a super big blow to my self esteem.
My cousin just got a really modeling gig for a really big fashion brand. My brother has modeled too. I hate being the ugly one in the family, I feel like I'm treated worse because of it.
I'm working on losing weight and toning up though, helpfully that will make it better.
too much to unpack here. I’ve seen the screenshots of her cheating, it was with people she knew through work (not coworkers, but same building). He even had messaged the wife of one of the men she was seeing to let her know about it, which the wife said he had done it before (also screenshots). He chose not to let her family know, just to minimize drama. Her job also could drop her if it got out that she did it because it’s a fairly public position. Her job paid her more but even with two incomes, they couldn’t afford childcare hence him staying home for a little while.
He moved back into his parents house after their divorce and his family smokes inside, not child appropriate. Now we live on our own, with extra space, so we can have his son here.
I understand that she doesn’t want me around, but it’s totally normal for people to have two households they bounce between with dad/stepmom and mom/stepdad. I haven’t spoken to her more than pleasantries, so besides him asking when he can bring me to visits (which was twice, in the last year).. she’s not totally aware of how supportive I am of his efforts. Just doesn’t like me by default.
He didn’t complain about the wage garnishing either, he just didn’t understand why it was so necessary. He still pays more than their legal agreement, simply because she asked for more. There was no hesitation on his end.
It's one side of the story and you don't have hers, and it sounds like she's not keen on talking to you anytime soon. It's still wise to take that situation with a grain of salt.
Anyway, so what's his employment situation like now? What if you indeed want to have children with him, but with child support needing to be paid, run into the same financial shortcomings as his first relationship? Would you be willing to take on burdens like him wanting you to work full time while he stays at home?
>he just didn’t understand why it was so necessary
Because men tend to slip and miss payments if they're not mandated by law, and maybe what you said about the cheating made her think he might get petty as revenge. Who really knows, but that's the reason.
My dad was a high up in a company where him and my mum met. When she had kids he was making good money that she left and he had an affair with the secretary. Everyone knew. I find it weird that apparently an affair between not Coworkers would impact someone's job. Is she a politician or some shit even then I doubt it would lose her job? And why hide it from her parents? If she's such a bitch and chested why is she being given so much respect and consideration?
Also weird you haven't been introduced to the child and you want joint custody and for them to bounce around houses which is always disruptive I fucking hated it as a kid the only pro I could manage was never doing homework because teachers would feel sorry for being from a broken home but I think that lasted maybe a few months before teachers cracked down on me lol.
I was >>484570
and have had a few meetings with the son but never introduced to the mother. However the mother knows his family and the situations I've met the kid has been where the mother knows its been a family occasion (one instance a wedding) and grandparents were present. Are your husbands parents involved in the kids life?
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F O U R M O R E Y E A R S
He makes what she did when she was the only one working, I work part time and go to school. He’s taken on most our bills lol. In my future career, we could afford childcare when we needed it. But if I made significantly more than him, I would be okay if he stayed home. >>484589
She’s a police officer. It’s enough public standing that her personal life could affect her job. She had affairs when she was a dispatcher with cops, then she pursued that as her own career. We’re not asking for joint custody right now, just unsupervised longer visits and alternating holidays. His parents are pretty uninvolved honesty, they’re nice people, just kind of in their own world. They weren’t supportive of him having a kid to begin with so the issues he’s been having are kind of “well you shouldn’t have had a kid!” to them
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Similarly to the first time around, I won't vote and I will also be hoping that Trump wins again because FUCK the DNC. I truly don't care anymore if this country burns to the ground with me in it. At this point, we all deserve it.
I get you with the grandparents, honestly my bf has two sisters and you should see his parents dote on his sisters grandkids whereas the few times his son has been invovled in a family gathering is when the elder sister reached out to include him. They had the attitude that their first grandson was a mistake but a happy one. However there is like a clear divide.
Ah being in the police makes more sense sorry for badgering you. Hopefully your husband can start bridging the gap of normal with the visits and you both can have a few holidays together with his kid.
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>call off sick
>the day flies by
>go in to work
>the day drags on
I hate this.
>>484577>Can we hold more than half of a country with 300 million inhabitants accountable for taking part in a democratic election and not voting for whom I wanted to win? >>484580>muh superpower>better than europe in every instance
This is why you have trump and deserve him.
They don't notice it and would always deny it, but the average american behaves so similarily to trump - just in less rich lol You're so self-righteous. Always thinking you're better than others, always wanting to fight against others, never just being neutral and accepting of differences like normal adults.
I hate the leader of my country, but I acknowledge that many other people choose her and that she therefore was rightfully elected. No big deal, I just move on, no need to throw tantrums.
fuck, i feel your pain
>goes into first job. day drags on
>goes into second job that i actually love. day rushes by
i want to quit my first job already, but i already cut them down to two days a week
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>>484606>You're so self-righteous. Always thinking you're better than others>hur dur from my euro bubble looking at the silly americuns >wait what, shut up you are the self righteous one reeeee
ok, enjoy your 60% income tax for shitty healthcare and 50 euro pension
>>484606>Can we hold more than half of a country with 300 million inhabitants accountable for taking part in a democratic election and not voting for whom I wanted to win?
He didn't win the popular vote. Many Americans didn't vote at all. A chunk of his voterbase only voted for him because "Hilary can't win!" And another chunk regret their decision altogether.
Yeah, I'm holding people who voted for him responsible because there were other options. People have their heads too far up in their ass with identity politics, doing spiteful things just to make the opposing team "lose" even if it means they elect a moron to office.
People are strange.
i really hate politics talk on /ot/ because the state of the world is just so depressing and this board is kind of an escape from daily life (at least for me). but i need to say that the kind of person you described - self-righteous, always looking for a fight, unable to be neutral and accept differences - is the kind of person who screeches about how terrible trump every two seconds and actively and vocally hates everything american. so… you kind of have it backwards there.>I hate the leader of my country, but I acknowledge that many other people choose her and that she therefore was rightfully elected. No big deal, I just move on, no need to throw tantrums.
and this is what those people will never, ever do.
For stuff like this, it's always best go go by what you think and not what the other person thinks
If you spend too much time thinking about how they feel, you lose yourself
If you want to be friends with someone, reach out to them and never stop unless they ask you to. If you don't want to be friends, you can just slowly move out of their life.
I know it hurts to be pushed away, and I'm sure there are personal reasons that really have nothing to do with you personally as to why it happens, so if you do want to be friends with someone–just keep an open mind and heart (and ask them to get therapy)
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>>484610>He didn't win the popular vote.
Why do people keep repeating this like it's relevant at all?
Maybe a system where it counted would be better, or maybe a system where it counted would be worse, but either way it isn't the one that we have, so it isn't the one he played around. For all that anyone knows if the popular vote counted, and he campaigned based on that, and all the silent Republicans in hardcore blue electorates this time bothered to show up, he'd have have won even harder.
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>>484645>cherrypicking that one thing out of the entire paragraph just to sperg about your 5D chess and a draconian system that for decades political scientists have said needed reformation>and thinking this is a gotcha
If this is the hill you want to die on anon, I don't care.
representative democracy is of the reasons the US is not another latin american failed state right now.
>political scientists have said needed reformation
you do realize how dumb this statement sounds? reddit tier, absolute seething.
Yeah, we should ignore educated people on the subject and listen to internet denizens like you. That's the true non-seethe way.>>484669
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I know you struggle to bang your last two brain cells together to form a sentence but there are people whose lives and wellbeing actually depend on who is president. You're not being treated like a retard just by leftist politicians, you actually are
fucking retarded. The government is never going to fail you absolute turkey. Republicans are just going to keep winning and fuck over poor people/nonwhites/women/anyone who isn't a rich old white dude. >>484610
One of the main reasons Trump won was that he appealed to a sizable demographic of white blue collar workers, farmers, and agriculture workers who typically don't vote. This demographic is what won him key states like PA. Unless Democrats actually get their shit together, stop being butthurt bc Bernie isn't the nominee, and vote for whoever is
the nominee, Trump will absolutely win again. Honestly I think Biden would be the most likely to be able to win because he has a lot of appeal to black voters and moderates, probably two of the most important demographics - but then you have the Bernie bros who aren't actually affected by any of Trump's policies because they're either 19 year olds whose parents pay for everything or white 30 year old men who protest vote or vote for Trump bc ~fuck the establishment~
We don't need the perfect candidate. We need someone who 1. can beat Trump and 2. actually govern
No one ever denied that Trump won because he appealed to hicks and blue collars.
The problem is that almost half of Americans didn't bother to vote.>Unless Democrats actually get their shit together, stop being butthurt bc Bernie isn't the nominee.
Oh, and Biden is awful.
Someone having a different belief and choosing not to practice abortion if the situation befalls them is completely fine.
Fostering a movement that has wrought tangible setback (to a throughly tested right) that is fundamentally rooted in emotion and not fact, does not belong in an educational institution.
A community church group is more appropriate.
Why does that bother you?
If he's not prioritising them over you it should be fine?
Not if you believe it's murder. Murder isn't something that anyone has a right to. As triggered
and disgusted as you are by them existing there's a good chance they currently think even less of you. Fortunately all of are attending a school that exists to help people think, and as it happens part of that is the ability to debate. So have an honest discussion with them and find some common ground.
As I get older I'm less jealous over partners that stay friends with exes and I find it more concerning when guys don't speak (or are on bad terms with) every single one of their exes
Depends on the guy, but it can be a sign that he actually values women
This. One of the biggest red flags when dating a guy is if he passionately hates all his exes or describes them all as bitches
This guy is showing he's not the type to get abusive
and then cut them off
I'm the original anon and I didn't even seriously consider going to their event tbh, I go to a STEM focused school on the smaller side and I myself don't have a lot of knowledge/debate skills. Plus I'm kind of an autist and don't want to make a fucking fool of myself. Hence why I made the post here instead.
I figured my vent might get a few responses but lol. I mentioned throwing the flyer away because it was kind of pathetic and in a place I don't think anyone would have noticed.
In the process of moving out (meeting with a case manager tomorrow) but saving up money still takes time plus I need money to pay for my classes.
Basically everything is taking awhile and I hate waiting.
Agree, I made sacrifices to escape my family. My situation was more my parents disabling me instead of enabling so the incentive to leave was really strong for years.
They tried their best to burden me financially and make me feel like I couldn't be independent unless I was going to college full time and simultaneously had a full time job that paid at least $14/hr. I ultimately became poorer living under my parent's roof because they increasingly "borrowed" money from me and made me pay for things I had no need for, like the $250 TV bill and my grandfather's & sister's phone bill on top of my own, which left my mom and dad to pay for their own phones.
I was making $10/hr working at a restaurant, where my paychecks fluctuated between $60 - $250 a week. Imagine your parents demanding you give over $400 a month for nonsense with that kind of job, on top of them asking you literally every other day if you were going to apply for college classes.
I initially escaped my parents house working that restaurant job. It was tough at first, but I did it. At my new place, I lived in a room. I bought my own used car, paid my own insurance, no TV needed, or phone bills that weren't mine. Just had to pay for myself and quickly realized how much money was just going down the drain living with my parents. I eventually found a nice full time job within a few weeks that paid $11/hr where my paychecks were a constant $380 every week. I moved in with my boyfriend shortly afterwards, where I was lucky enough to save even more.
I left my parents not getting a lot of things, but I knew it was the best choice I could make. My mental health improved so much, I stopped having to go to therapy about a year and a half after leaving my parents house.
I honestly thought, upon escaping, I was going to end up like those people on Tumblr and Twitter who would have to e-beg every day because bills and rent were going to be abysmal. It ended up being the opposite for me, the only help I received was a friend giving me $30 for gas money after buying my used car. Everything else I was about to handle, to my surprise. One thing I ultimately learned, which I regret not doing earlier, cut all ties to your parents names. If anything you have is under their name, leave it with them because they might try to threaten you with legal action down the road. Other than that, good luck and you'll be fine.
Didn't mean to reply to this with a story but oh well lol
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I’m so, so tired in the morning. It doesn’t seem to matter what time I go to sleep at, I always have dark under eyes and am in a constant state of sleepiness.
I have been dealing with increasingly frequent flashbacks and realizations about things that happened to me when I was a teenager the last few weeks. I was sexually manipulated, physically abused, groomed, emotionally isolated and encouraged to hurt myself by multiple older men when I was 15 and alone, and had nobody to help me. The first man was 15 years older than me. I somehow never thought any of what happened to me was weird or abnormal until this last month, 12 years later. It has gotten to the point where I cannot sleep because every time I sleep my nightmares get worse and worse. Somehow I feel as though if I were to tell anyone all these horrible things that happened, it would be a burden to them to know it. I can’t really explain why I care about burdening family members with the knowledge of what their own neglect of me caused to happen, but somehow I am. I don’t know who to talk to or how to feel better about it and mostly I have been cycling between depressive exhaustion and straight up not wanting to live with the pain these things have caused me. I don’t know what will help make it better, I don’t know if talking to people will actually help, and I don’t really know how to keep living life like this. Still, I somehow have the energy to keep worrying about making other people sad or uncomfortable.
Just know you got through the last 12 years despite this happening to you, so you can keep going.
You're right that your families' neglect was what caused it (and the predation of those sick fucks) and it was not your fault
When I start getting into "whoops remembering awful stuff" territory I reject those thoughts and keep doing what I'm doing in the present. Look after your health and safety and these things won't happen again. >>485199
He sounds really gross, I hope your mom gets a divorce asap
What a manipulative creep.
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okay for the sake of being progressive or just when you have to use the bathroom I don’t care what bathroom you use. I don’t, it’s a function and we all do it no matter who or what you are. what gets me here is that this is, a 100% gay male. no crazy pronouns no special taglines. BEING A GAY MALE DOES NOT MAKE YOU A WOMAN or give you access to female spaces?
You're literally a man in a women’s restroom. You have a full beard are not “female presenting.” You’re completely enforcing the stereotype of “haha gay men and women amirite” and your outfit looks like some sort of burger joint uniform. Why even be in there in the first place besides the quirky caption and perhaps a slightly better background?
it’s a personal cow I needed to needed to vent where someone would maybe understand.
the fact that he felt the need to point out he's in the ladies' room just gives off giant "lol fuck women" shit-stirring vibes. it's like he wants a woman to get mad at him so he can clap back. it's not even one of those nice women's bathrooms with a full-length mirror lmfao no excuse.
this is pink-pill territory though so be careful anon. i guess.
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I really worry about and hate that other than gender-, sexuality-, race-, political spectrum and now age related fights between people keep getting more vicious and vocal. But at the same time..
FUCK BOOMERS FOR RUINING THE INTERNET
FUCK YOU SO MUCH AND YOUR SHITTY BOOMER RULES
YOU KNOW NOTHING
STOP KILLING YEARS WORTH OF INFORMATION AND ENTERTAINMENT JUST FOR YOUR AGENDA
THIS IS LITERALLY ERASURE OF CULTURAL PROPERTY
STOP DELETING AND NUKING EVERYTHING
I CANT SAVE LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN 2 MONTHS
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
Completely unrelated but I fucking hate Rick in the walking dead. HATE HIM. Fucking cocksure, hypocritical, over aggressive piece of shit throughout and I was so thrown off when I looked up the subreddit and he was adored for some reason.
Is there some deeper reason I'm too stupid to get as to why this violent moron is beloved?
I mean I love a good antihero and grey morality characters but I really thought the show was challenging us by having a truly hated main character.
I'm visiting my parents and spent hours cleaning up the bathroom today. All available space was taken up by toiletries, stuff that I know had been there, same position, for 5+ years, when I left home. All those hours were spent getting rid of stacks of dusty, moldy or stale shit, didn't even do more than dust. Massive bag of toiletries to be binned and honestly? Doesn't look much different. I've made a dent, but it's not enough. It's like they can't just buy shampoo, it has to be 4 bottles, all opened at once with another 4 half done rotting in a corner.
I keep trying to have a heart to heart with my mom about the fact that she needs to stop buying new shit because it's "such a good deal". And only afterwards seeing there's no space, so piling it up while trying to find someone to "gift" it to. Whenever I've tried to clean up in the past they'd freak out and conjure up some bs reason as to why it's useful to them despite them not touching it in probably a decade.
I'm a bit worried because as the years go by the old shit doesn't go, but the new shit just stacks on top of it. I can only see this behaviour getting worse, and tbh I feel all I can do is try and get one room to a decent state every time i'm over, IF they allow me to. What's sad is that my little brother seems to have given up. He used to get annoyed at all the mess, but now his room is awful and for the first time he didn't want to help when I asked to clean.
And idk, it's just stressful. It's stressful always trying to find a place to sit, or to put your plate or cup without knocking something over, or putting everything on the bed so you can move around, you know?
My mom does the same thing. I don’t know if it was because she grew up in a poor family but she always buys stuff because it’s on clearance and holds onto things for way too long. I used to toss the almost empty shampoo/conditioner bottles or lotion in the trash and then she would pluck them out again. And I started buying bulk hand soap so she would stop putting water in almost empty soap containers.
One day when she wasn’t at home I threw out a ton of old hair brushes and donated the old hairdryer and some unopened lotions/sprays that had been in the closet for years. I never told her and I don’t even know if she noticed.
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My parents have passed and my house has been destroyed by water damage. I'm living out of hotels right now by the insurance without a job. I quit it before I knew all this would happen but I did hate that workplace.
I'm honestly so damn alone and depressed right now. Almost just tried to end it on friday after hours of crying. My friends aren't taking this situation seriously and one has been mopping to me about their life. This person has a good income with loving, living family, and their own place. I'm at a loss for words how I'm supposed to care for them on top of this disaster.
Not married to an alcoholic but shacked up with my long term bf and he is a lazy ass when he’s not working and uses the “I work tho” excuse to make me feel bad even tho I go to school and babysit for money sometimes ugh men are so entitled.
Pick up the shit tho, I’m stubborn too but I can’t imagine the smell wafting in my house
Working nights gives him no excuse to not take the dogs out. If he's home when the sun's up, he definitely has the time to take the dogs out. Drill it into him, every 4 or 5 hours the dogs need to go out. Set a timer, anything. It only takes 5-10 minutes to do.
Buy him a pack of antiviral facemasks from the dollar store and tell him next time the dogs shit in the basement, wear one of those. No excuses.
I'm so sorry. Maybe point this out to the friend? Maybe she's not seeing it right, and I could see someone making that mistake because your situation is so hard to relate to. If she stays defensive though I'd remove her for a bit at least, there's no excuse for being self centred like that. Maybe your perspective is skewed because of where you're at but nobody would expect you to emotionally support someone at this time.
You should reach out to some kind of support group, therapy if you can, and I hope you get through it soon.
More info? Where are you? I'm in a kind of similar situation. After 9 months though I'm enrolling in a language course. I tried volunteering and made some fair weather friends at least that way. Do they have meetups in the country you're in? I don't think church is the place to go to socialise if you're young. Have you brought up that you feel alone in the country? What about work colleagues, could you deepen relationships with them?
A big problem is that you feel like your partner doesn't care. The number 1 person in your life and you feel like he's not on your team? That's bad.
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Happy Birthday anon!
treat yourself to something small
i recently celebrated alone aswell, even my parents forgot lmao but i bought some cake and watched a movie and it was nice
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Happy birthday, anon. You don't have to do that forever, try to take some time to pursue the things that you enjoy.
If your life is so meaningless now, there's no reason not to do whatever you want with it while you still can.
I promise you won't always feel this way.
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I AM TRYING TO SLEEP BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE WHEN I TRY TO DO IT I KEEP CRYING CAUSE I AM A COMPLETE FAILURE LMAO I AM SO TIRED
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I'm trying to go abroad for a year and for that I have to apply for a specific visa. I can because I have enough money to apply and I have nothing holding me back, and my parents will also lend me money so I can give it back at my own pace. But I keep getting interrupted, I have so many problems with so many administrations doing stupid shit and taking so much time and I just changed my bank because the one I used before was complete trash, I wasn't even able to apply for my visa yet. I want to get this over with asap and it's just so frustrating.
Related to that, because of that I can't get a job in the meantime because nobody wants to hire me for a few months or weeks for anything and I've been a neet for a few months. I hate this shit, it's so boring. I've been trying to beat a few video games in my backlog until I get things sorted out because I really have nothing else to do that.
Aw thanks anon, for real
Although I didn't get any sleep and my head is spinning haha But that legitimately made me smile and made me tear-eyed
Second vent I guess but I am just so stressed because I think I'm gonna flunk college cause I am a piece of shit and my mom is going to be fucking disappointed and mad at me (she made it clear), especially cause she is a professor herself and she pays for everything in my life
There is a slim chance that I will pass, everything is so shitty right now that I am basically losing hope
I just wish I could fall into a coma until next year and everything was resolved (or not, but at least I've slept), cause 2019 had been a fucking shitty year and here I was thinking that 2018 was shitty
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>sole mental health organisation in the area dedicated to helping people with social anxiety
>only reachable by telephone
have you tried text lines anon? not great for like longterm support but they have helped me in the past when I just needed someone to work stuff out with.
there are a lot so I don't have a particular recommendation
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i get so jealous of smart people. people that can work hard. those born with incredible minds.
knowing that they could, in an instant, grasp a concept i've been struggling with for an hour; or that a genius will do better than me in my field or in academics or make a bigger contribution to the world by merit of being intelligent makes me not want to try at anything, and gets me so depressed.
i am seeing a psychiatrist this december though (since for the longest i've suspected i suffer from add or something) but i'm also scared they're gonna diagnose me with a learning disability or something.
i don't know. at the core of this post i'm just sad my brain don't work too good and i wish it fucking did i wanna be a top level computer scientists physicist bioengineer too god damnit
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That are Muslim swimsuits in AliExpress, maybe you could try Amazon as well, anon. Good luck!
Why are high ranking officials in churches so well protected? Why do they bother protecting abusers? I just finished reading above article and I'm so dumbfounded over it all. Some lines that stood out to me:
>Hanssens believes his decision to act as a whistleblower – reporting the abusive actions of Delft and other priests – was held against him by the Salesian order, and says he was later forced to leave the school in Ghent and work more than 100 miles from his home.
What is the point in punishing the whistleblower when you have a pedophile that you keep in constant contact with children?
>Loots says the Salesians are in a difficult position when it comes to dealing with abusers like Delft.
What's the difficult position? What do they have to lose to turning over him over to the police? Isn't this just making a worse image for their church and their mission?
>“Most of the time, it’s impossible that he can stay in the community or the place where he lives or works,” Loots explained. “We have to remove him immediately and then because Salesians are working with young people, we don’t have so much alternatives.”
And yet… you move him into a place where you know
he will be with children. Uh.
>But Delft being in the CAR meant he was soon working again in close proximity with children and with little monitoring of his activities. This gave him clear opportunities to violate his court restrictions, and Delft’s latest accusers indicate that he did.
why why why why why
>“We look at that moment for the best possible alternative with the lowest risk that he would repeat his bad behavior. What you are doing is confronting us with that – what we have thought to be the best of all … scenarios – even that wasn’t enough.”
Your "best possible alternative" was putting a pedophile near children?? Does anyone
have any brain cells here or???
I was originally going to post this in the stupid questions thread because I really was hoping for a legitimate answer as to why they bother to protect abusers, but then it turned into a vent so I'll leave it here. I'm so frustrated at the stupidity. Like, no one is this dumb to believe that if you put a convicted pedophile near a bunch of kids that something won't happen.
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I just haff to scream
Anon, you are beautiful just because you’re not a cute kid anymore doesn’t mean your life is over and I’m willing to bet you don’t even look that bad. I really hate how society makes it seem that women when they’re not young just aren’t as pretty nah fuck that I’ve seen plenty of women who were beautiful with mature features.
Start taking care of yourself, moisturizing and eating a little healthier to look and feel better about yourself
dress appropriately too, you’ll only look old and ridiculous if you desperately cling to your youth by dressing like a teenybopper
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the guy I'm seeing and I don't seem to be working out or just encountered some problems. It's a rather sober thing and we're both rather guarded and cool and distant and it has it's ups and downs. I feel terribly lonely and weird today and a bit neglected. Maybe talking it out would be a good idea but I'm frustrated and lonely and don't wanna be vulnerable right now. So we're just not talking. Idk maybe we weren't ready or it's not a good match. I honestly have no clue right now.
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don't mind me whilst I scream
nta but I could classify as a bdd fag and i always feel/have felt way older than I am, prolly due to being praised for being "mature for my age" and generally being perceived as older than I am throughout my life, yet whenever I think about myself even just a year ago that disappears and it feels like I was just a tiny babby. Like two years ago when I was forced to take 1st year courses I felt like a legitimate haggard grandma despite being like 20 lol, but in hindsight wtf was I thinking! Truly a mindfuck.>>485719
why not try meeting women instead then? I'd say women are more difficult to befriend than men but only because women kinda care about who you are as a person kek
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>friend gets a bunch of dumb tattoos the second she turns 18
>of stuff that's trendy that she barely cares about
>Edgar Allen Poe's face
>a decade on and everything's going blobby now
>makes a status about how someone mistook her EAP tattoo for Hitler
>she keeps posting statuses about it bc she's insanely hurt by someone thinking she got a tattoo of Hitler's face
I have a lot of acquaintances both male and female and one female friend who is local currently. However, I don’t feel like I can be as open with them as i can with a male partner who cares. I do go out and try to be social at least twice a week but I have problems forming meaningful connections. I don’t think I have a bad personality but I’m definitely not someone who exudes warmth and openness.
In the past when I was younger, I’ve accidentally destroyed friendships because I used my friends as therapists basically and they couldn’t stand it. I think a lot of my problems forming interpersonal relationships stem for that as I’ve become reluctant to open up about my feelings. I’m not traditionally feminine and have some interests that aren’t mainstream so I feel like I’m even more isolated and have more difficulty making friends in general.
I don't want to talk to her. I haven't spoken with her since spring after she rejected and cussed me out for the last fucking time. I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her, but the bitch still attempts to call me and comment on things I haven't blocked her from seeing on social media. Because now after the dust has settled, she wants me back on her terms and now that she wants me. Fuck what I want and my boundaries.
Even though before she outright resented me, never called, never cared about my social media, claimed I was being horrible to her, that I was being needy, and she flat out rejected me whenever I sought her for affection or reassurance. She was a cold, bitter woman to me then. Yet now that she's lost control she wants me back in her clutches again.
She refuses to see that she's done anything wrong, and she doesn't believe that she has. And that IF she has done something wrong to me, it was because of someone else causing her to act that way.
And IF it wasn't someone else, then she didn't mean what she did.
But IF she did mean it, then I deserved it.
She's even got some family in on this, and there's actually a narrative that she's a victim. That I'm just being a grudge holder.Maybe it's easier for other people to believe that. Since she's been peachy sweet to them and have never been treated like how she treats me behind a closed door.
There's attempts to guilt me into continuing a relationship with someone who has caused me such indescribable stress and grief.
If I'm so shitty, then why is she the one crawling back? For more of my alleged "abuse," or is it cause she done fucked up and none of her manipulation tactics are working anymore?
I'm no longer anxious about coming home after work. I don't have stress acne. I don't tense at the thought of going to gatherings and being around her.
I'm better off without her, and for once I don't care if the feeling isn't mutual.
This isn't a vent about my gf, it's my mom.
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fml i just found out this cute guy i was interested in is related to me, i guess thank god nothing happened between us or it wouldve been even more awkward seeing him again
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sorry that you're unhappy or in a bad place or that life is bad rn and that your surroundings aren't understanding of your pain.
I sometimes say optimistic stuff because I genuinely feel that better days can come and that it can be nice to look forward to sometimes. But that's clearly not true for everyone or in every situation and I don't wanna dismiss the problems and pain and understand it can be patronising or come across that way because most people think when you have extreme problems that a certain attitude can "fix" it when it's not that simple.
You're right that faking optimism when you're drained and don't have it in you is no help. You are important and your experience is real. You wanna be seen as you really are without keeping up appearances and heard in your pain without glossing it over.
I hope people cross your path that do listen and empathise.
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lo and behold, the time has come to scream yet again
I wish we could do this together irl, like some version of fight club except we just arrive alone, scream collectively and then leave alone whenever we feel it's enough
>>485974>do you want someone to wallow with or what
not everyone wants contrary input to their feelings. some want to be understood and heard and listened to. It can be healthy to cry and be sad and a relief and just be honest and not glossing your honest thoughts and feelings over. Sadness and anger and desperations are emotions like any other and not bad to face and feel. They can pass on their own, too, and it's soothing to be understood.
You could say affirming things like "I understand" or "I'm here for you" or "I know it's hard" and just listening and being supportive without compulsively fixing everything. Are you unfamiliar with the concept?
No, I am familiar and have felt very bad in my life. But it seems that an "I understand" or relating it to yourself even in a small way could be read as stealing their misery and being selfish. But like you said, saying optimistic things is invalidating. But just saying "that sucks for you" seems cold.
Would "I wish you didn't have to hurt" work? That seems like it could be taken as blowing hot air and not truly caring though. Yet "what can I do to help?" could seem dismissive, as if you're tired of them being sad.
Nothing is right. Idk. I don't want to apply what I like to hear since it varies from person to person.
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this fucking cringy incel in my class has a crush on me. i'm already in a bad place mentally what the fuck do i do?? i hate that i have to deal with this shit too
well, i forgot to mention that he's been stalking me irl and harrasing me online. he also screeches about "femoids" to everyone and frequently mentions how much he hates feminists blah blah.
but yeah, like i said i've been going through so much lately, i don't have the energy to deal with this. too bad i have to see him everyday…
i know i'm probably overreacting and it's pretty easy to deal with this stuff. i just needed to vent
I sound sarcastic now I read it again but I'm serious, stalker men are dangerous pieces of shits. Also >>485999
report him because he's screaching disturbing shit.
Oh, I understand then.
It's not easy that's true but I wouldn't say nothing is right.
Sometimes, you can't help them or say the right thing, that's okay, too. But it's good to be there, to try, to listen, to talk and see and hear their feedback. It doesn't have to be perfect imo. With time, maybe some mutual trust can develop and these talks get easier.
Your suggestions are actually really good. Even offering help is good. Just saying "If there's anything I can do, tell me" or "you can message or call me anytime if you need me" is good. It's just an offer.
And yeah, it's awkward and hard sometimes and sometimes all you can say is "damn that sucks, I'm sorry" but even that and just being there can help. You don't have to turn into a perfect psychotherapist, you can just be you and try as awkward as it is. Maybe not everything I say is right or I touch a nerve sometimes but people usually appreciate being listened to and just an opportunity for a heartfelt, honest exchange. I just watch their feedback and maybe I can help somehow and they feel better. Maybe not. That's all anyone can do.
And it's good to encourage someone, too. But don't expect them to respond enthusiastically and agree right away or ever. These things are a balancing-act and constant back-and-forth. Sometimes you're off, sometimes you're bang on
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You sound exactly like me right down to your parents and the ocd. I'm by no means "cured", but what has helped me since starting therapy is learning to be able to step outside myself and analyze a situation. I try to pay attention to my body and realize when I'm starting to get anxious. So when I'm freaking out over something minor, I stop and think to myself "Oh this is just my brain being stupid.". I know how incredibly hard it is, but don't fight it. Don't fall into the trap of beating yourself up over your thoughts, it drags everything out and makes things /so/ much worse. I still deal with anxiety, but my panic attacks go away much faster now.
Anyway just letting you know you're not alone and I wish you the best. I hope things get better for you.
Welcome to the screaming club. Bring yourself and your vocal chords for some carthartic screaming together. No introduction or talking needed. You arrive, you scream.
Place: In the middle between our locations.
Time: Next full moon
See/hear you there
thank you for the concern anons. i think i'm just gonna take the weekend off and clear my head. then i'll talk to some people about it. >>486047
can i join you guys?
stop being bitter anon. Chances are that someone will find you not-repulsive. You kind of sound annoying.
Oh wow. I can understand why someone would be in denial and on the defensive for something awful they did at 12 because they were groomed into that behavior. I understand why you can't have a relationship with someone who won't admit to the wrongdoing.
That right there is a tragedy.
Your mom is being an asshole though, it's not her place to force you to have a relationship with someone who abused you and won't acknowledge it. She Just wants her happy family, which is very selfish.
I just meant to say that I hate compliment fishers chill the fuck out, i barely even know what body dysmorphic disorder is and i couldn't care less about mentally ill people complaining about other mentally ill people. Fuck your friend really good, though. And fuck pedos.
Basically you sign up and put in details about yourself and what you're hoping for, usually presents are around $20 so don't really ask for anything too special. When sign ups are done, you receive a user's username and address and can see whatever they filled out for you to get them within the time frame. Someone else gets your username & address & details you provided and they send you your gift within the provided time frame. If the worst happens, the gift for you doesn't end up being delivered, like the person dunked out for a free gift, there's people who signed up to be "elves" and one can provide you with a gift to make up for the inconvenience.
Overall not too risky. They have year round and more specific exchanges if Christmas ain't your thing, or you just like giving and receiving more gifts.
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I just listened to my roommate's dad SCREAM at him for about 2 hours, calling him worthless, a piece of shit, and that he's better off dead because the house isn't spotless and it's a "shitpile", now I have to clean the entire downstairs when I just cleaned – It's just being… lived in. There's no garbage, I admit that I left my purse on the table as I've been running around lately and it slips my mind that that was okay at my old place but not here. I could be losing my room here if things aren't "completely spotless" by Monday.
I'm also just fucking terrified of this man now. I hate men who blow up completely like that, and I feel even worse for my roommate. We also have to COMPLETELY empty out the garage that's currently holding for a lot of our stuff, like future things for an event we hold, or just general stuff that can't be used right now, he wants it completely and utterly empty, including bikes and shit.
Both my parents are like that. I hate when my friends or roommates are exposed to that so I never invite family to my place.
I would move out for your own sake if it happens again. Homes are meant to be relaxed in and lived in.
I hope your roommate can find a place of their own too one day.
Have posted before about my woes of living in roach-infested NYC, made only worse by my borderline hoarder parents and living in an apartment that was built no later than 1950, but tonight… tonight I just want to fucking SCREAM!!!!!
I was cleaning the floors and getting ready to mop. Having a roach of two hiding in the mop only to get washed out when I dunk it into the mop water is nothing new (though it’s only started happening with this new mop, yes I do rinse it clean with water after mopping). Tonight I dunked the mop in, watching the twisted and dried little strands begin to rehydrate and spread out, and for the inevitable roach or two to come out. I usually watch and wait lest one try to craw up the handle and escape. Tonight it was one… then two… THEN AT LEAST EIGHT MORE SWARMING OUT ALL TOGETHER. I WANTED TO SCREAM AND VOMIT INTO THAT FUCKING BUCKET. There were no less than 10 in that bucket, I didn’t bother to count.
I had to learn the hard way that roaches don’t drown easily, so I just had to stand there and swish off the roaches who kept hanging onto the mop and making sure none were coming up the handle, and then just stand there and pray that the detergent in the mop water wouldn’t take forever to drown and kill them. I dumped the water out into the toilet and made a fresh batch to mop with.
I’m so disgusted. I use diatomaceous earth but I know it can fuck up vacuum filters so I try to limit where I put it to cracks and whatnot (we have an expensive dyson vacuum that I love with all my life, no way I’m fucking that thing up- who knows when I’ll get a new vacuum?) but tonight I went ham and dusted it everywhere. All over the floors, all over the walls, all over every possible surface in the kitchen (where my dad likes to leave a mess long after I’ve gone to bed to yell at him for it, not that yelling at him does anything because he always whines about how he’s too tired to clean up his mess). Also I’m pretty sure I inhaled way too much of the DE. I only have regular face masks, no respirators unfortunately.
Fuck my life.
Holy shit I’m having flashbacks. Me and my roommate were renting this apartment that turned out to be an overpriced rip off. I kept the place fucking spotless constantly and had the apartment people do sprays. It didn’t help like at all. Roaches infested the drains and dishwasher. I started running the dishwasher empty every day just to kill them. They infested my loofa and I was scared to take showers. One FELL ON MY FACE in the middle of the night when I opened a door, and I had moved my bed in the middle of the room to get away from walls but I still had at least one roach in bed with me once.
Finally I had a fucking all out meltdown when I spent all this time making a perfect BLT and set it down on my desk and looked away for LITERALLY LESS THAN TEN SECONDS and picked it up to take a bit and several roaches scurried our. I dropped it and started screaming and crying and my room mate tried to console me but he ended up having a meltdown too and grabbing the back of diatomaceous earth and dumping it everywhere literally all the floors and counters covered in piles and then we went and stayed in a hotel.
I’m so glad to be out of there. I cleaned that place spick and span on move out day and they charged us for cleaning which is BS, probably all the roach carcasses that died in the 10 mins between us leaving and inspection. They also charged us for a bunch of other “broken” bullshit that I know for a fact was a lie but we were so traumatized we didn’t want to even go back there to contest it.
You'll need something more heavy-duty for your situation anon. That will only kill the bugs who happen to trot through the powder, it does nothing to address the colonies which are no doubt within the walls and in places you haven't even discovered yet.
You need something like boric acid powder, which can be bought in a big bottle at Wal Mart near the rat traps for less than $4. You finely dust the same way you do DE, but here's the rub: If you see live roaches, dust them with the BA powder but let them live! They'll return to the colony and die with the powder on/inside them, and when they die the other roaches in the colony will cannibalize the dead roach and they will die as well. It's important that the powder is carried back through their routes of travel.
Boric acid powder isn't toxic
to humans (unless one is dumb enough to put it in eyes or snort a line) and I don't believe it will harm pets unless they purposefully ingest it.
If you're using DE for pet reasons, then it might be worth it to have someone petsit for a couple of weeks, which is about how long it will take to kill the roaches with this powder.
I stand by this because my apartment had a roach infestation when I first moved in and the shitty apartment management told me pest control wouldn't be able to spray for another month. I didn't have time to wait.
I sprayed powder underneath the fridge, along kitchen walls, cabinets, between the crevasse of the dishwasher and counter, and basically every place I could see a roach crawling and traveling along. I sprayed roaches with the powder when I saw em alive and let them return to their mother roach to die.
No roach activity within a week. A bunch of dead roaches. It works.
That sounds hard, are you coping okay? Would be a great start.
Hell, even a ‘shit sucks’ would be something since it doesn’t give the message that the sadness you feel is a burden and should be kept private.
Anything that isn’t patronising. Any variation of ‘be positive’ is not encouraging like they think. It’s just another punch to the face when you’re already down. It also puts the onus on the person who’s miserable because it implies that if they spent more time invested in magical thinking, the impossible thing will happen. Total cruelty.
First world problem, ahoy.
Just don't get mad at me anons, it sounds silly but I promise it meant something sentimental to me.
This Thanksgiving is one of the firsts that I'll be having with myself and my stepdad. Because I decided to cut contact with my mom, and they're separating. It's gonna be one of the first years that I'm going to be cooking the dinner. Even though I've lived alone before I never got to cook for Thanksgiving specifically. I love to cook, I love new recipes. This year work gave me a free turkey and I was so excited to plan the dinner.
My mom has always been a control freak when it comes to food and completely ocd in the kitchen. Every year it was always the same bland and uninspired slop because she hates cooking and the effort that goes into it. I wasn't ever allowed to make anything, lest I be put down for suggesting anything other than her norm or harangued for disturbing the sanctity of her kitchen. There's actually a running joke in my family that I'm the "gourmet"–always said patronizingly–because I dare want to try new or fresh things. I mean these are the same people who think seasoning beyond salt, pepper, and parsley is "too spicy." They say the stuff I want to make is "too expensive" because they equate quality and fresh food to $$$, when actually most of their pre-processed junk is more expensive dollar for dollar. I digress, the point is that this year was going to be different. Or so I thought.
Lately I'd been juggling a nasty cold alongside my new job. I had zero mental energy left by the end of the day. As soon as I would get back to the apartment, I would fix food for myself and then go straight to bed. Admittedly, I was behind in my Thanksgiving planning but I had an idea of what I wanted: Chestnut, sage, and sweet potato stuffing made from bread; a green bean casserole made with fresh beans and a mushroom cream sauce; cranberry mould from scratch with orange zest; gravy that I'd make from caramelized onions and the turkey drippings that day. Just to name a few.
A few days ago stepdad asked me what I wanted to prepare for Thanksgiving to make a shopping list. I told him a few things off the top of my head but not everything, mentally I just wasn't there. I assumed I had more time. I had assumed we'd go together, to split the cost as well.
Disappointedly enough, he went today without me while I was at work.
He bought garbage. Powdered gravy in a packet, canned vegetables, cheap boxed stuffing. Junk, just like mommy would make. Shit that he wanted because he's nostalgic for it and didn't want ~gourmet anon's~ pretentious dumb ingredients and fresh vegetables and ballyhoo.
He was so dern proud of this haul that I didn't want to rock the boat by telling him just how I really felt. Obviously I can't go out and buy the actual ingredients now because he'd be injured and take it as an insult for not using what he bought. These are turds that I didn't want to have to polish but now I have no god damn choice lest I appear ungrateful even fucking though I ought to be since he was inconsiderate.
I just feel like telling him to make it. Hell, the instructions of how to make everything are written on the packets and boxes he bought so who's to say he can't? Right then.
God I’m fucking shivering just thinking about that. I’m sorry you had to live through that ordeal anon!!>>486208
Thank you anon! I was hesitating on the boric acid because of my dog. She doesn’t really eat what she isn’t supposed to (except for the rare occasion she somehow gets a hold of unwrapped chocolate. stupid dog doesnt care for any human food EXCEPT CHOCOLATE) but I did catch her licking the wall where I had dusted DE once. It most likely was because she knocked some food out of her bowl and was trying to get at it, but she’s such an old dumbass I don’t really know what goes through her head. I’ll try to get a pet sitter but our main roach area is the kitchen where she doesnt really wander into so hopefully things will be okay! >>486211
I want to fucking cry I walked into my just cleaned kitchen and what do I see? A GIANT FUCKING ROACH. Our apartment building has quite a lot of them but I’ve only ever seen them in the basement, never actually inside our unit until today. I want to cry so bad, I keep feeling like bugs are crawling all over me. I’m gonna douse the whole damn place with boric acid.
>>486266>Oh and I have no health insurance at the moment so I can’t even see a doctor, shit.
Whenever I read things like this I can't stop being surprised at how anyone is even alive in the United states. How the fuck can you deal with a society where you can't afford
to see a doctor? Or get treatment?
it depresses me so much, anon. how do people have kids like this? they just don't give a shit and/or are idiots. i can't take any american with a child seriously because of the healthcare situation. surely you'd not have kids if their wellbeing can't be close to guaranteed by at least having coverage for all citizens, and coverage that isn't massively marked up, for worse results? americans will defend this system to death. they truly don't care about their kids. even with an absolutely 'great' insurance plan, you should still be under constant anxiety. i have a 'great' plan and i'm always stressed still. i'm constantly anxious given the healthcare situation. and i will absolutely tell you, as someone who has had a multitude of health problems, our outcomes are MUCH worse. we are severely overpaying and have no security, and the doctors are terrible, the quality of care is horrendous, even if the cost goes up. people assume a higher cost means better quality of care, but it's so much worse. it makes me want to cry constantly. there's no reasoning with most americans about the healthcare situation. they bullheadedly believe this is the best situation and that it gives them "choice" and better outcomes when we know for a fact that it doesn't. the american populace just loves to get anally fucked raw and then beg for more.
At least poor people with kids can get on Medicaid and pay relatively little if anything at all.
It's when you make a working class wage or are an adult with no children that you're absolutely fucked.
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I hope I'll make it short. I know, that vent is quite dumb, but I want to throw my thoughts somewhere.
I have been a part of a circle for two years. Only recently, when I've finally left it because they tried to make up rumors about one of my closest friends because he was really done with them acting like 'mean girls' club, being rude around people who are more popular than them, or around people who don't praise them in general.
But the issue is that I have been around them for so long that I never realized how much they affected me. I have almost healed myself from it, recognized all the toxic traits that I took from them but the issue that still stands is the fact of how much I want to be a short uwu gf. I know it's really stupid and delusional, especially knowing the toxicity of entire uwu-movement, but sometimes I really wish I was 153 cm instead of being 166, because everytime people would talk about height, it would turn into some weird 'who is the tallest cutie' contest, people would keep talking about how short they are, while adding 'ah! u are so short, but me… i am < >- cm shorter than you! uwu life sucks' which led into me, being insecure about having average height. I know men are all about dating 'as short as possible' women because they always want to feel dominant, and I got a boyfriend who is okay with my height, he is my taller than me, but still. It oftenly bugs me in a really stupid way. I also was the tallest one out of this circle which always made me feel weird and uncomfortable, since people would always 'bully uwu' them and call them ~ smol ~, praising them for their height like it's the most important thing. Makes me wish sometimes I was praised for such… Trait? Too. I just want to always feel small and cutesy even though I am cute and such. It just feels like I had x100 extra cute points if I was shorter lol. It is really stupid, yet this thought keeps bugging my head. Hell, I am a part of Lolita fashion and having to experience the issue that a lot of dresses are from 'ultrashort' and girls without bodyshape is pretty lame.
Circle was not related to Lolita Fashion, but uwutuber community and girls were asian.
It's okay anon, you're most likely super cute at your height and I'm sure your bf doesn't give a fuck. I've noticed even girls on here calling cows who are your height "ogres" and it's really odd. I'm a couple cm taller than you and can only imagine how it makes even taller women feel.
But even a girl who is 180 cm+ can be super adorable, so I don't get it. There's a girl I see around my university around that height and she's cuter/more feminine than me lmao.
…and as a side note, although it is common, not all men prefer super short girls. Some want to date taller girls, too. Just like some women love manlets.
they were asian, that's why. it's not like this is super pervasive anywhere else. although i can tell you that being short is super fucking annoying precisely because the most napoleon complexed manospheric men with the worst tempers have a target on your back. they are super invested in finding the shortest woman possible because they're psychotically obsessed with their shortcomings (kek). basically being that all of the incel shit is now obsessed with height + the natural propensity for insecure men to target short women means short women are going to get ALL of the most psycho men coming after them, for the most part.
also i find that height really doesn't matter that much like, more how you appear. i don't feel like i look as short as i am, whereas ariana grande is apparently 5'3 but imo looks shorter than me, or at least people seem to think she looks 4'11 when she isn't. not all short women look petite. i see a lot of women who are taller than me that look more petite so the petite super estrogen thing imo is not all up to height, it's just some evopsych stuff. i think being super thin contributes to uwu more than height honestly.
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I'm about to spend Christmas Eve second year in a row only with my mom and brother, while my sister spends it with her bf's parents and comes the next day.
Being in hometown alongside my older (I'm 22 and he's 27) brother makes me uncomfortable since the last time I visited him kinda. He showed me some games on steam, because he had to do something meanwhile. Besides that I had to buy train tickets, so I opened the browser. Out of curiosity I peeked at his bookmarks tab. There was ero-dating page and links to the site's profiles. Next to it was folder named "stalk" full of women's facebook profiles.
I still hope it won't turn into something worse.
I had tonsilitis and conjunctivitis for over a week not long ago. I was really fucking ill, knocking back antibiotics and painkillers, lozenges, anything to get through the day with as little pain as possible. I have an active toddler and a husband who works full time so I was still doing mom and wife stuff on top of dying. Eventually recovered, still don't feel 100% but I'm better than I was.
Husband gets a cough. An annoying cough, but no aches, pains or sore throat. Oh my god he's being such a wuss. Suddenly looking after the child is too much because cough but he's well enough to play video games cough but he's soldiering on, how brave. cough I swear our family would fall apart if I wasn't around to do literally everything for everyone.
Also, a friend of mine lashed out at me because he asked if I had a problem with him moving in with his girlfriend of three months, and he pushed and pushed until I gave him an answer. I said I thought it was too soon and OH BOY DID HE NOT LIKE THAT. Because TWOO WUV and WHY CAN'T YOU BE HAPPY FOR ME and a bit of HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND IF YOU WON'T SUPPORT ME. In the end I was just like, okay whatever, you do you.
Anyone wanna take a vacation with me? I'll get the drinks in.
id rather taxes over the near 500$ deduction from a paycheck every month to ensure i actually get to use my insurance.
the money is pooled together so essentially when you pay for insurance, even if you dont use it, someone else will. even though i need care, someone else is receiving it whether i can use it but thats not taught so instead its wrapped up in the idea that oh no we are all going to be taxed more uwu fight that.
so all those tumblr idiots that think taxation is theft is feeding into that because lets be real if we all had a little more tax, our healthcare would be taken care of and school could be better or roads or whatever. yet they will bitch about not being able to afford housing food or healthcare
>in english class yesterday
>almost the end of the semester
>so far this class has been really nice, no major arguments or anything
>everyone seemed so mature
>discuss our readings for the week from our book
>it's about femininity and such
>doesn't even mention a lot of politics, just talks about cultural perceptions of femininity, etc.
>discussion goes haywire
>this is unusual for our class as some people in particular are just being rude
>wish I had videotaped it because words cannot convey how bad it was
>one dude who is usually very pleasant was just bitching in the corner, obviously triggered
>he would not stop talking oh my god
>another older gentleman was being stupidly aggressive as well
>professor is a doofus and they're all just having a circlejerk about feminism and women's rights
>getting angry because corner idiot and old man are saying inappropriate things and the professor isn't catching on
>me being retarded, I blurt out "why are the men are dominating the conversation" since this is about women and no one is asking us how we feel, it's just them having a male moment
>whole class: shocked pikachu face
>explain that this class has been so good up until that night, wtf happened
>also mention that the two idiots in particular were out of line
>professor looks embarrassed
>pick me bitch starts defending them and getting worked up, saying "women are an issue too uwu"
>tell her she's not the problem, why is she making excuses for their bad behavior?
>keeps talking and putting me down, don't understand why she's lashing out at me as I thought we were on good terms
>can tell she wants to say something rude so start ignoring her because it's like she's trying to bait me or something
>I decide to leave the class a few minutes early because I'm hungry and am just over it, pick me won't stop talking
>I know I'm stupid, but I was really disappointed last night
>I really thought things were so good after being in terrible classes where people have meltdowns over discussions like this
>was surprised at my professor for not seeming to care or realize how some of the men were acting until I mentioned it
>oh well, life moves on
>I know they're going to be upset when we come back from holiday but it is what it is
I have no medical insurance with my current job and Im kinda regretting it now. The due date has already come and passed but I didnt want to get it because im rarely ever sick and they take it out of your paycheck, and I already make so little. The other day I was sweating at work and starting to get the itchy feelings on your breasts that you get sometimes. I didnt really scratch it or anything but when i got home i did. I didnt look at my tits before to see why they were itching i thought it was just because i got hot, which happens all the time. All the sudden i felt pain. I looked at my breast and there was an almost lesion? looking mark on my breast where i had scratches. Almost like a circular area(think from a cigarette burn, but i dont smoke or anything) where it appears a layer of skin got sloughed off? Its not big at all and it doesnt hurt too much, but ever since then it has stung/itched a little, and it has a clear liquid coming out which im assuming is plasma, but after putting bandaids on it, when i take them off, the liquid shows up yellowish on the bandaid. There was never any blood, theres no pus or anything. But i looked up so many different things and couldnt find a picture of anything that looks remotely like it. And its scaring me. Also, after I take the bandaids off I started noticing that made the area hurt worse, and where the sticky parts of the banaid were, there are little rips starting to form on my skin in those areas too? There isnt really any redness around the actual wound, just where the sticky tabs were. I know the skin on the breast is more sensitive than most skin but im so weirded out. Its been two days. Its still not bleeding or excruciating pain or anything but ugh. I really wish i had signed up for insurance though it would have cucked me out of even more of my paycheck. This sucks.
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how to survive frend's party despite being umcomfortable and not able to talk to anyone. it's so awkward aaaa
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If you're a Eurofriend you can get sun-ripened canned tomatoes from Italy easily and for relatively cheap all year around and maybe more regional ones, too. Other places, I'm not so sure. Probably an organic, expensive brand. But you can get lucky by researching it and maybe there are brands with sun-ripened tomatoes>>486424
I'm guessing ESL and they just forgot the word for greenhouse
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My emotions have been all over the place these last couple of weeks.
I just get depressed, anxious, then suddenly happy again. Even my dreams are getting scarier.
what is going on?
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>date comes over who I met through an app
>get into bed
>feeling my ass
>squeezing my boobs
>eats my ass
>"Oh man anon, if it wasn't my personal rule to not have sex on the first date…"
You put your tongue on my butthole but some basic intercourse was gonna push the envelope, eh bud?
so? common =/= safe>>486493
okay, that's better
Anon, I think you might be missing the biggest issue with everything you just related.
Why the fuck would you let your bf take your face picture engaging in a sexual act? Don't you know how common is for men to share those, not only after a bad breakup, online?
You can't have that kind of liability around, that's just putting your image in future danger. Fuck being pretty while sucking dick, only a porn actor should care about that kind of thing and not care about her image doing the act existing in digital format one button away from being shared online.
He likes it cause it's his dick your mouth. The goofy face you're making is just the additional ego trip.
It ain't that deep sis. Although next time you meet I'd ask him to delete that pic. He's already proven immature enough to send it through text. Just hope he's not the bragging type for your sake, otherwise he's probably sending that embarrassing pic to everyone.
Never agree to pictures like that unless you wouldn't be ashamed if they were publicly posted someplace.
This sounds like a disaster anon>Taking porn photos of you>sending them across the internet
Like everything sent online gets put into databases and servers, and in goverment records: to quote Snowden "Yes, the goverment have your dick pics" and even if it's just on his phone it might be automatically uploaded to a cloud server if his settings are to do that.
Apple phones automatically scan and tag images with keywords so you can find them againscreaming into pillow
Obviously it's different if you're an online sex worker and your image is already out there, but if not, this is very concerning.
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>liking your straight friend
>liking your straight friend especially if she's in shit relationship that she won't leave
what the fuck anons what will Freud say about me
The post about the estonia in the "down the rabbit hole" thread sent me on the same track as you anon.
But I had to stop after the 2014 SK ship. Broke my heart
anon, keep in mind that ship accidents are rare.
but I feel you, I also made myself paranoid by listening to black box recordings, and now every time I get on a flight I have panic attacks.
I was also obsessed with reading about the Sewol ferry disaster, couldn't believe something like that could happen. those poor kids
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I don't want to study anymore, I don't want to go to uni anymore. It's not fun, it's not interesting, it's not even good for my future, at this point I only do it because it's better than nothing. I wish I wouldn't have felt for this retarded meme. Just so my family could gloat about their (grand)child going to uni but now even that became worthless because they are disappointed in me anyway and shit on me behind my back under the pretense of being concerned for me. Must be nice to be in their shoes, always able to switch standpoints to be right and make themselves the center of attention. But I can't even drop out because then I would confirm their belief that "I wouldn't make it" and "they knew it all along". Deep down all I wanted is for them to be proud of me and finally respect me as my own human being. All my life they shut me down, screamed at and punished me whenever I voiced my thoughts or my own opinion "because they knew better", interfered every single time I tried to be even a bit inderpendent and made everything about them at all times. I was nothing but a pillow for them to lean into and only existed for them, as an extension. And now, almost 26 years later they turn around and say "oh how could this happen? Why doesn't have my (grand)daughter any goals of her own? Why doesn't she have any motivation? Why is she such a failure, what did we do wrong? We must have been too nice, we coodled her too much :((". No you don't, you fucking suffocated me and any sense of self and confidence I had and then tried to fix your abuse with food. The truth is I did have secret goals and motivations but you either never even bothered to listen to them, talked me out of it or immediately made fun of them. You only ever cared about yourself and how you appear. I wish I could go back and tell my young self to say fuck it as soon as I finished 11th grade. Fuck aiming for higher, fuck having a bachelor in my resume, fuck the higher paid job meme. I never cared about any of that, all I wanted was a quiet life on my own, to be able to live out my creativity and independence. But now I'm almost 26, tired and mentally stunted, with no experience in anything and still stuck in this grey, dirty shithole infested with stubborn mold on each wall, monthly burglaries, dogshit and sad faces everywhere and still the always ready pillow to punch it out at. It's basically a dead end. No matter what I end up doing, I already missed out on any chance of happiness or satisfaction.
you are young and your whole life is still yours to claim. cut off contact to a toxic
family isn't easy, but it's feasible. they need to stop judging you by their values on you and let you be. if you feel overwhelmed by your studies, there is alway the option to take a break and resume your studies later, or never, your choice whatever feels right for you. most unis have an office for helping students under mental strain, please reach out for help.
whatever happens, do something today to live out your creativity and pursue your own goals, you'll feel better right then.
I remember reading that if you hurt a kitten, then pet it/show affection after immediately it will understand that it wasn't your intention to hurt it.
Kind of like when kittens play with their mom, mom gets a bit too rough, the kitten cries, mom starts licking it, all good.
AYRT and the Sewol one easily fucked me up the most. I couldn't watch the videos or listen to the messages, it was too sickening. I don't know what kind of monsters could leave hundreds of kids to drown.
But yeah, while logically I know that there would have to be a huge chain of fuckups for the ship to capsize and murder me, my dumb lizard brain is yelling at me to flee the giant metal floating thing. Reading those accounts made me wonder seriously how I would perform in a life-threatening emergency. I want to believe I'd be heroic and brave but I feel like I'd just panic and get myself killed, lol
How is asking someone else for plans and then expecting them to make plans for you not entitled and lazy?
Anon if you do this stop it. The people who you do this to are annoyed.
making friends in college is such a tiresome process.
i’ve been casting a wide net and talking to lots of people, as well as joining clubs related to my major / hobbies (though such opportunities are more minimal due to being at community college).
however, it just seems like i get along (surface level) with lots of people, but resonate with almost no one? in high school, i has a pre-ordained “friend group” that i hung out with (hyper-online, tumblr queer kid types), but i’ve fundamentally changed since then, and no longer share many commonalities with that sect of people.
yet, i can’t really seem to find anyone that i just “vibe with”, like i used to with my old (high school) friends. it seems like i tend to find enjoyment in intial conversation, but then everything peters out, and i realize that i just… want socialization but don’t actually like or feel engaged by the person i’m trying to befriend, for the sake of having anyone to talk to.
i’m just fucking sick of the friend making process. i met another philosophy major that i’ve gotten on with, but i suspect they already ghosted me because i played devil’s-advocate to one of their baseline “woke” platitudes, despite the fact that i was very thorough, and gave lots of concessions to their original argument, establishing that we were both coming from a place of relative agreement.
i dunno. shit is exhausting. has anyone here has similar experiences? did you inevitably find “your people” in college?
I live in a dorm with almost 60 people and my class has over 40 people.
Out of all of them, I've only met like, 3 people I vibe with.
I don't really talk with anyone in class because 75% of them seem like they need some reality check asap. Also, I get so invested in the activity we are doing that I kind of isolate myself to work better. Some months have passed and I think I'm lucky I didn't aproach anyone too quickly, because I realize a lot of them are not what they seemed at first hand.
At the dorm I get along with almost everyone, but I only have a deep relationship with a group of girls. I have a few acquaintances and that's it.
I'm also tired of meeting new people. Don't sweat it and try to have a time for yourself. Once you're a recovered from the experience, open yourself to new people again. Right now I'm just enjoying time alone, doing my thing without having to please others.
I'm sure you'll meet someone, sooner or later. I did, so you will too!! I wish you the best of lucks.
Not really related but one time I got chewed out by an officer in the library because I was sitting at one of the many “student only” tables.
There were literally no kids in the entire library since it was a weekday during school hours, and the few non-student seats were already taken.
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Forgive me if this is better suited somewhere else but I unironically hope onision fucking kills himself. Like yes he has kids but he’s proven to be an abhorrent father who does bare minimum. He’s been around for 10+ years and only exists to do evil nasty shit and he will never stop or change. He’s rotten to the core and will never do anything good for this world. Fuck that guy.
Almost everything men say about women is projection>Women are so ungrateful no matter what you do!
Men>Women just give silent treatment instead of discussing issues
Men>Women always take men for granted
Vice versa>Women judge men's body's so harshly!! If you don't have a male model face, 6'3 and a body builder body women find you useless
Men>Women look to cheat every chance they get
Men>If a woman dated Chad she will never be satisfied with other men
They project more than movie theaters
society and lacking upbringing adds (delayed) pressure. sounds like you lack self-worth and never feel good enough and compare yourself compulsively (with others or just an inner image of better than you
because if you don't feel good enough, there has to be an idea of what would finally make you good enough like an unreachable carrot on a stick dangling in front of you). that's why your accomplishments don't feel rewarding and you're not happy with them or yourself. maybe you're not making up reasons to feel bad but you actually do feel bad and some of your emotional needs aren't met. as adults we are responsible for all our needs. some of them we don't even realise because nobody ever taught us to feel them and care for them.
this can even happen through obvious or subtle neglect and/or nagging and these critical attitudes. When children get (partially) neglected and (some of) their needs aren't met, they falsely burden themselves with the responsibility and develop a subconscious attitude that it must've been them and because they weren't good enough, these needs weren't met. When they don't feel good enough, they start to make inner images of that idealised state of being "good enough" and run after it.
That's why caring for ourselves deeply and self-soothing and healing is so important.
You're not alone my dear, please don't hurt yourself. I and many of my close friends have felt the pointlessness of it all. It sucks, but you've got to stop comparing yourself to others.
You are you, you have a lot to offer. You aren't just your talents and your successes. You are your kindness, compassion. Others love you not just for how well you are doing in life, but for the person you are and the soul that's inside you.
Life's a bitch. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to look at the good bits, but they're always there
Jane foster as thor was only bad because she had cancer and was told there was a cure and she said “no thanks, I’ll beat it on my own”
And some of the, “look at us, we are liberals” junk was annoying too
The rest was fine as far as mantle passing goes
baby steps, we can do it!
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Found out the guy I was crushing on fucked a prostitute
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I've been struggling with my weight recently. I've been eating regularly, but I've been dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety so sometimes I feel like my stomach is shut down. I'm not ana tier yet thankfully, and I'm going to see my GP this week to ask for help.
However, my mom is stressing me out even more by screaming at me because she can't deal with anything that requires good parenting skills, so she calls me names, says I'm crazy, threatens to take away my laptop and my books (??) and overall acts as if I want this and as if it's all my fault.
Now she brought it to the next level by asking "You're thinking of suicide, aren't you?" with a mocking/defiant tone, and by saying "I hope you start losing all your hair, so it'll teach you a lesson".
In such an environment, no wonder I'm fucking depressed. Why even having kids when you're such a shit person?
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Period brain is turning my stupid brain into absolute mush. I feel like I'm stuck in the feedback loop of hell, going back and forth through thinking about my ex, being sad about our break up, then being sad and upset about me being sad and upset because I should be over this by now!!! I hate being so self aware of what my brain is doing and how awful it's making me feel and feeling so helpless that I feel so powerless to do anything about it besides sitting here, waiting it out, and trying my best not to cry. I normally do just fine dealing with these thoughts but my period makes me feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of it all.
I wanna go rock climbing and take my mind off of things but I'll have to pay an extra $10 to go in since it's after 3pm (have an early pass cause it's cheaper and I normally only go weekend mornings) and it's going to be crowded as fuck and I don't want to deal with my inevitable climbing anxiety on top of all of this. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck please send me cute puppy and kitties.
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Here you go, anon. Hope you feel better soon.
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You will not be considered old, not by a long shot. People won't even be able to tell you're older than 18/19 unless you tell them, and if you do they won't care. Your friend is either really fucking stupid or deliberately trying to upset you. >>487261
a cat for you anon!
Sometimes I feel like I'll never be loved the way I want to be loved. I've been in relationships before, I've had people say they love me, they do things for me and show they care… but it's never in the exact way I want and I end up disappointed. I guess most people would be lucky to have bfs that treat them the way my partners have, but I'm still uneasy about it.
When we got into disagreements and I felt hurt, it always seemed like it was about them winning the argument and preserving their ego, instead of looking from my point of view and considering my feelings, and that's where I believe their true self lies. In the end men don't seem to care much about our feelings if they deem it to be trivial or illogical. No matter how good they are, they'll just be stubborn and cold and never apologize from the heart like most women would. Women would be empathetic and feel bad for hurting you, even if it's completely unintentional. Men would think that they shouldn't have to apologize because they didn't mean to hurt you, that you're at fault for feeling that way. I understand since people are indeed responsible for how they choose to react on their emotions, but it's still a cold robotic way for someone who is close to you to think.
I just have a bad view on relationships right now.
I started uni at 25 just this year finished with a masters at 29. You'll make friends at 20. What I noticed was that the mature older guys that were like in their 30s had no issue having friends with the younger guys, but I didn't get the same comrade. Not to say I never worked with amazing students and I never experienced hostility. The only time I got fucked over by another student is when I teamed up with a 40+ year old woman and she tried to email a lecturer that I didn't do any work. It was for a video presentation. We scripted it, I was in front of the camera and she wanted to edit it cause she bought a new mac book. Little did I know she was going to try and fuck me over. The lecturer emailed me and I was completely baffled, showed him our plan and pointed out I was the only one in the video demonstrating the procedures. We both got As and she never spoke to me again lol
You'll be fine at 20, remember that you're going to be mixing in with a lot of new students, it's not like following on from the last year in highschool were everyone is familiar. People won't know your age til your asked.
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I want to apply to a job again so bad but I can't get passed my stupid anxiety about interviews.
I can handle crazy/nasty customers anytime but it's the interviews that make me want to die. How do I get over this anons
Thanks for the replies- yeah she said it so offhandedly and it just stuck in my head. She already knows I feel bit apprehensive about going since I've skipped a few years. >>487301
No, she definitely wasn't joking, I was more venting the question in disbelief that someone could think so matter-of-factly that 20 was a mature student. Now I'm pretty sure she was just saying it to get a rise out of me or something.
I don't feel like they are particularly milky or anything. My problems are pretty minor stuff I just wish I didn't get as many negative reactions.
These events were all spread out over this past year. >in break room at work taking my lunch>about to leave>coworker stops me and apologizes to me>apparently he was talking shit about me and didn't realize I was in the room, I didn't hear him because I was concentrating on my own stuff>ask him what he said because I try to be polite and nice and keep a low profile, sad that someone thinks of me enough to talk about me in that way>he refuses to tell me, feel even worse>talk to people online about it, give a description of myself and my behavior to try to find out possible things that people dislike about me (a stupid idea but I was pretty sad about it)>they tell me they think they would dislike me irl because of my typing style and that suicide is a solution
Some time ago>talking about fear of being alone after moving away from hometown because I haven't made any new friends for a long time and have forgotten how to form new friendships>get told to stop being an autist
With an irl friend>we are relatively close, she vents to me about her relationship and other problems on a regular basis>tell her that I feel like I'm losing my personality because I don't have any time to do anything but work and study (was a difficult semester for me) and that I don't want to become someone who only complains about work and school>she goes quiet for a minute and then tells me "ok then…"
she sounds like a bitch that's trying to make you insecure/pull you down. go to uni if you so want to! if you feel insecure about your age, i understand it can feel like those 2 years between 18 and 20 is approximately 2 decades and you're an absolute hag but literally no one can tell how old you are exactly, even if you're particularly haggard or something (t. particularly haggard anon who had to take courses with people 2-3 years younger than me and was terribly insecure about it at first).
learning wise, i'm sure you'll still be able to retain information and, if anything, you'll probably be better equipped and determined to face your studies than those fresh out of hs!
also i fucking wish i qualified as a mature student, the financial aid they get here is insane, a coworkers wife went to college at like 50ish and got paid 3k a semester in living grants hnggg (the studies were free themselves)>>487308
if it makes you feel better, i'm a fairly regualr lurker but had not come across your posts/have replied to them in a disparaging way. it probably is your wording, even in these short rundowns you sound very insecure and self depreciating. like i understand how you'd be upset in these situations as i'm also those things kek, but sometimes people can get annoyed when you're overly meek and whiny. hang in there, fellow whiny-chan!
>>487150>I, as a feminist woman
I only watched the original movie a couple years ago and the feminist inside me was kinda annoyed at how creepy the protagonist was towards the woman. He's really an unbearable character made for "the guys" but its a fun movie otherwise.
Idk you made me think.
The movie has a lot of boring sexism/sexist tropes, and lets be real. It wasn’t even that fucking good to begin with. It had a catchy song and a dorky idea that makes kids like it. That’s about all it has going for it, it’s not some masterpiece
it’s just as dumb as the new one and actually most people don’t hate the new one, and all the kids I know who saw it liked it just as much as the old one
The old one made me laugh a few times, but yeah it's dated as hell. Seeing all these men crawl out of the woodwork suddenly defending fucking Ghostbusters, like it was some great artistic masterpiece, was baffling. I can at least understand the anger if you're defending the sanctity of, you know, Apocalypse Now. But Ghostbusters? Fucking really?
The whole drama around that is when I officially stopped giving a shit about Hollywood remakes and reboots. I used to get so pissy about them. But after seeing the mass sperging that one caused, I was just like "Fuck it, Hollywood's gonna make em, stop crying all the time and just don't go see them".
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My dad started screaming about how awful I am because I started a load of laundry before HIS bedtime. I don’t even know if he had laundry tonight.
He texts me shit about how much he loves me and is proud but then turns around and calls be a stupid bitch behind my back because he thinks I can’t hear him. Screams when I dropped a sandwich, screamed at me when the person I asked for a letter of rec from was taking too long, told me that I was lying when I told him I loved him. One time when I got home from school and locked me car, I could hear him screaming all the way from the sidewalk because he was mad I had gotten home. I want to escape this hellhole but I’m too financially dependent, and even if I wasn’t I’m so depressed from growing up here that I can barely think about functioning. It’s honestly a miracle sometimes that I’m graduating college, or that I’m even still fucking alive.
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Thanks anon, I appreciate it. This is just the tip of the iceberg. My dad has PTSD and while I’m empathetic to the fact that he goes through a lot it also means that I’ve grown up as an emotional punching bag. For years I never even was able to classify as what he did to me as abuse because he never hit me, always had food and shelter, and since I’m an only child I had a lot of toys. I was always seen as the lucky rich kid so I never felt like I had a right to complain.
He yelled at me when while I was crying as he was being deployed to Afghanistan. During middle and high school both my parents would come in and yell at me for crying, even if it was completely unrelated to them. They couldn’t handle my emotions on top of all the tension so I always had to push down my feelings. I had this habit when I was younger of just completely shutting down, not being able to talk or move for fear of making things worse. This would only make them angrier because they couldn’t coax shit out of me. They’d always blame my computer addiction and being a teenager for my extreme moodiness and isolation. In hindsight it was because staying in my room on my computer was the only way to entertain myself while still being out of the way. There was one time when I was a SOPHOMORE in high school and they found this quiz from 8th grade that I had flunked. Literally a 10 point daily quiz that had such a little impact on my grade. I got yelled at and berated by asking me how I was gonna ‘fix’ this even though I had already graduated middle school, got an A in the class, and was a fucking sophomore. My dad gets visibility agitated if I go in and out of my room too much especially while doing chores. He likes to stand in our kitchen and watch TV while eating microwaved canned soup because he’s a grown man who can’t cook, but huffs and puffs if I’m standing there too long actually making myself food because I’m not a fucking idiot. Just last week I had gone to thr bathroom at around one in the morning. When I laid back down I noticed that the hallway light was on so I figured I had accidentally left it on. Get up and turn it off and immediately hear “JESUS CHRIST ANON!” Apparently my dad had gotten up to check on our pets who had been freaking out, flipped his shit when I turned off the light, and then accused me of b4ing why they were upset because I had been getting up too much. He threatened to kick me out over something a few months ago, I honestly can’t even remember at this point but it’s because he thought I wasn’t grateful enough. Also told me I had developed really ‘convenient’ migraines because I had been missing school, even though there had been several weekends where I had spent the entire day laying in darkness, he just thought I was being a shitty recluse and never bothered to check. All of this and yet he pouts at the thought of me moving out soon and always insists that this is my home but never fucking acts like it.
Sorry for the wall of text but I needed to just pour this all out anonymously. I feel like my friends don’t take me seriously because I’m such an airhead because of the depression and an angry mess from everything else.
those situations all suck, im sorry anon
maybe there's something about the way you type that attracts the edgelords on here
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My company is getting acquired.
I love(d) my profession, colleagues, company, clients, company culture, etc. I even loved the stupid shallow morale-boosting emails upper management sent around crunch time and holidays. I can't surface any major complaints that I could have had while working here. It was the perfect job for someone in my profession with my specific professional values.
Finding a new job in and of itself won't be too difficult, but god damn this sucks. This job provided me with the first few stable years of my post-undergrad life, after suffering through some seriously fucked up work environments, and now it's like the rug got pulled from under me and all of the work that I have done over the past few years may as well have never existed, and soon I will likely never speak with most of my colleagues again.
I will probably get paid more in my next role, but the work culture at this company was perfect and my manager is an extremely good mentor who more or less runs an egalitarian team and encourages mutual learning and innovation. Following a strict chain of command and standard procedure is now wholly unappealing.
As a passionate corporate drone in a particularly gratifying line of work, it's easy to get invested in the business, which makes it all the more devastating when someone has removed your purpose. This situation is especially crippling if stability is one of your main values. But the most humiliating part is that the business tries to retain their worker drones against their best interests with cheap, shallow attempts at morale-boosting so that they can keep the company running as smoothly as possible until the drones' years of work can be properly erased from all but the memories and portfolios of the workers, and all of the especially loyal drones who were dedicated enough to stick around are dumped and given a few weeks to figure out how to feed their families, while the acquiring company celebrates the completion of the weaker company's death and those few drones who managed to stick survive the acquisition put on a smile and try to adapt.
Still better than academia tho
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Well my computers motherboard has now died I no longer have a computer. Thanks to the anons who replied to this. Hope I can find a job soon to fix everything
It's the same for me anon, I will graduate next year and am absolutely scared. I study to be an primary school teacher and am doubting if it's the right choice for me. While I like working with young children, I'm very afraid of having to move out, being the "new" one at school, the older teachers and all those tests I still have to do in front university officials during the first years of my working life. Plus I'm scared of not passing my final exams, one of them will also be oral which I'm obviously shit at.
I always think what if I just worked in a office? But then my hours our lounger and I hate being away from home for long. What if I just became a secretary? Low responsibility, but I'd have to take phone calls and I absolutely can't talk on the phone. It feels like there's not one somewhat nicely paying job that doesn't involve acting extroverted. I have been saying that for years, my ideal job would be the night shift at a gas station lol
My parents were super strict when I was a child and now wonder why I'm so quiet and scared all the time. And all that pressure to "Go out! Smile/talk more!" just makes me feel worse and causes me to act even more retarded.
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You two should try recovering NEET thread, its for us anons who want to learn how to be normies
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Thank you anons, my period brain has calmed down today.
anons I'm the same (especially that part about the night shift at a gas station kek). I've finished my master degree (law) this July and I had my first internship during this last year where I had to talk to a lot of people. I thought like you, I could never do it or feel comfortable. But it actually went totally fine. Of course I still didn't like being around so many strangers and having to be friendly all the time but I didn't hate it, I did my job and people were happy.
For tips, I don't know if other anons feel the same but when I was working my mindset was different. When speaking with a client/coworker I wasn't thinking as much about how to not be awkward, I was just more focused on "I need this info" "I have to tell them this/make them sign this". You will be more confident in what you do as time goes on and become more assertive.
Another tip is basically that you can be introverted, people don't really care, just don't appear unfriendly/rude. For example I know I can appear very cold so I smile a lot (I know very cliché) but it absolutely works. When your coworkers greet you or whatever do a real big smile as you greet them back it will make you seem nicer and more open.
When you'll be starting your new job, if you don't work with terrible people they will pick up pretty fast that you're introverted/quiet and will be nice to you as long as you're not fucking up your job.
My boyfriend decided to throw a massive bitch fit an hour before we were supposed to go to a dinner I planned for a friend from out of town. I'm very introverted but work in the entertainment industry,and had a very busy weekend with people everywhere so by the end of it I was completely over any form of human interaction and just wanted to have some time to myself.
He knew I was in a bad mood and tired yet kept pestering me for sex and attention, then had a fucking meltdown over being "neglected". I've been with him for 10 years and he knows that I've never been a touchy feely/affectionate person and like my space, (he is the complete opposite) yet he wants to drag all this bullshit up before I have to go to a dinner with friends, on my only day off? Wtf.
I probably should have been more sympathetic, but I tried to get him to stop crying so I could calmly explain that I had just had a rough weekend and wanted space but he kept wailing about himself "woe is me, nobody cares about meeeee" type bs, and completely ignored what I had to say, which caused me to get extremely pissed off.
It was a terrible reaction to have to someone who was upset, but I was so unbelievably disgusted by his behavior that I just absolutely lost it on him. If I want my space, I'm going to have it and he can fuck off. I'm not here for his convenience, I'm a human with boundaries and feelings too.
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I can't help but be jealous of some of my old classmate/acquaintances because they're being "successful" in the fitness "industry" or whatever I should call it. I don't dislike them for it and am not saying they didn't put in work, but most of the time they have no idea how fucking lucky they are that they could afford the stuff that brought them the success - school, paid apartment, classes, gear, training, food etc.
I never even considered taking it up as a career simply because it's not peofitable in my country and because the nearest school is 2 hours drive away. Must be nice to have enough money to pursue something you really like without having to worry you're wasting your time.
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Just deleted my social media apps (not accounts but those weren't active anyways). Basically I have no friends and no use for social media and i can feel myself relying on imageboards and anime again to keep me occupied. it sucks. I have around a 90% average in my 7 classes yet I feel dumb, unfulfilled and tired of everything. I feel like I have no hobbies and truly no one to talk to and it's my own fault. I just want to give up and be a neet again but i already had to redo a year of highschool so I don't want to be behind in life again. Not that I feel like I could start my career anyways but im just. idk. that's my shitty vent. I guess ill be spending more time on here again, just like old times minus the pt and snow shit.
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Thanks anons, it’s good to know others have been in the same boat and gotten through it
>>487308>talk to people online about it, give a description of myself and my behavior to try to find out possible things that people dislike about me (a stupid idea but I was pretty sad about it)
Why was it a stupid idea? If you knew it was a stupid idea why did you do it anyways expecting a positive response? It sounds like you kind of know why this was insufferable to other anons. I'm sorry for what you're going through though and the anon upthread who told you to kill yourself is a dumb cunt just fyi
Edited to add more bc you deserve to feel like you're being heard: your coworker sounds like an asshole and he really fucked up in that situation. Not only should he not have been talking shit at work, but he outed himself and you didn't even know. What an idiot asshole. It sucks that you now have to wonder what was being said but try to let it go, or write it down so you have a record of harassment if it comes down to that. No one deserves to feel like that at work. You were just minding your own business too… I feel you. Your irl friend who brushed you off sounds like a bitch but of course I don't know the context… maybe tell her that it hurt your feelings when she said that? And as for the autist comments regarding you struggling to make friends, that's just how lolcow is sometimes. Sometimes you get a cunt replying to you and sometimes you get a caring person. If you really need wholesome support I suggest you go to Reddit (not kidding). Good luck anon!!
I hate the word "ghosted" so much. So many people think they deserve to hear an excuse to cut off a relationship. Majority of the time they're not literally ghosted, it's just a gradual thing and they try to guilt the other person for not being their friend anymore.
Maybe I'm just used to people dropping me as a friend so it doesn't hurt me as much. I remember when I decided to stop partying to focus on my mental health and to stop feeling miserable at work, so many people acted disgusted towards me because I said I don't like drinking anymore. Over time I realized I'm glad they stopped talking to me because I wouldn't have to hear them talk about their drunken escapades all the time, like it almost became the only "interesting" thing to happen to them. It got boring.
I recently saw a comment on a Facebook post from someone I went to high school with trying to act all boo hoo because one of her friends she's known since childhood stopped talking to her "out of nowhere" and apparently it was worse than a break up. Her friend is an elementary school teacher, this girl complaining is an EDM DJ. I knew exactly which friend it was right away and I can see why they'd break off their friendship. As I see it, the friend parted ways like that so she wouldn't burden her with guilt for growing apart. Priorities change and it sucks seeing this girl trying to guilt her via Facebook.
I also hate when people complain about someone they thought they were planning to date or something ghosting them. Like, be glad they did it so abruptly, now you can focus on someone else instead of them. Yeah, maybe it sucks, but they're literally giving you the freedom to find someone else, no explanations needed.
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fattychan rant incoming
I'm so sad, I wish I could wear outfits like these and also have enough confidence and beauty to pull it off. I'm so sick of wearing jeans, oversized clothes and jackets to hide my chubby body every day.
In the city I live in, Japanese and Korean fashion is very well known and I see people like the girl in the picture every day and each one of them look like actual models and I cannot help but feel so incredibly jealous like an absolute pathetic fuck.
I started dieting this summer and I lost some weight which gave me such an incredible confidence boost, but then I fell back into my unhealthy eating habits again all thanks to the abuse I face at home and now there is still a long way to go. Immediately back to square one.
I'm also kinda tan so I'm even considering buying those nasty face masks that bleach your skin a paler shade but cannot find them anywhere IRL.
My envy for people who can wear stuff like this and look so incredibly good while doing so is so, so big.
Honestly anon, there is nothing special about the outfit you posted. I know it’s being modeled on a thin asian girl, but nothing about it stands out as something really j or k-fashiony. It’s not really girly or frilly, I think you could pull off an outfit like that without being stick thin.
And you definitely don’t need to lighten your skin. I think you need to detox from asian fashion accounts on social media because they might be warping your self perception.
>>487557>jeans and oversize clothes
Less is more when you're bigger anon. I know those choices feel safe, but you're actually adding bulk and-let's be real-everyone can see what your body is regardless of how you attempt to hide it.
I know you might not be able to wear the waist high shorts like in your picture, but you could get a similar silhouette with a cute a line skirt and top. If you're self conscious about your legs, opt for some smooth and slimming control top black tights.
But please don't bleach your skin. I'm sure your skin is very pretty on its own.
ghosting=/= growing apart and whining about it on fb is definitely cringe but also like you must see how either one is painful, no? you say you are desensitized to people dropping you but surely you must remember how you felt the first times it happened? also why couldn't an elementary school teacher and a edm dj be friends? people are more than their professions. yeah, indirectly trying to guilt trip someone for not wanting to be friends anymore is not cool but understand the edm dj bitch too, she obviously liked being friends with the teacher. >>487557
don't fall for the skin bleaching meme anon, wtf. 1stly, works very marginally at best, 2ndly, looking sickly pale isn't cute. furthermore, tan is kinda optically slimming too!
also you'd need to be a considerable hamplanet for a short and shirt combo to look so
obscene that people notice or remember. trust me, people don't even notice most people on the street, a chubby girl wearing cutesy clothes would garner next to no malicious attention, better than absolute slobtown anyway. also before fawning over asian exchange students dress sense, critically evaluate whether the outfit is actually cute or they're just thin/your weeb tendencies deem them cute looking.
hi anon, good luck on your weight loss journey i think if youre prepared to make your own food this is a helpful blog (has the yt video i watched on it as well) https://liezljayne.com/weight-loss-meal-prep-for-women-1-week-in-1-hour/
she has lots of good videos on her channel with meal plans and recipes so check it out (sadly with clickbait titles that can make it a bit hard to find them again)
anon, im sure your skin complexion is truly gorgeous the way it is, bleaching products are incredibly harmful and permanently damaging to the skin, the other anon is right, take a break from looking at asian fashion its warping your perception. i wish you all the best anon>>482594
hi anon, good luck on your weight loss journey i think if youre prepared to make your own food this is a helpful blog (has the yt video i watched on it as well) https://liezljayne.com/weight-loss-meal-prep-for-women-1-week-in-1-hour/
she has lots of good videos on her channel with meal plans and recipes so check it out (sadly with clickbait titles that can make it a bit hard to find them again)
anon, im sure your skin complexion is truly gorgeous the way it is, bleaching products are incredibly harmful and permanently damaging to the skin, the other anon is right, take a break from looking at asian fashion its warping your perception. i wish you all the best anon
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Not all asian girls are skinny, and those skinny models aren’t usually that thin. Asian fashion brands might abuse photoshop more than western clothing brands.
Try to find girls on social media with a bodytype like yours and look to them for fashion inspiration. You don’t have to be extremely skinny to dress cute. You can be on a weight loss journey and still be fashionable, you don’t have to wait until your body “looks right”. The happier you are with your body and how you look, the easier your weight loss journey will be.
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I applied for a job and I got a call back from HR or the recruiter the next day. They left a message, and asked me to leave a message. So I did that. And now it's been a few days and they haven't called me back or e-mailed me or anything.
Why do they get my hopes up like this? Why does this keep happening?
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I feel you anon, I absolutely do, I also often have those thoughts (minus the skin bleaching) but the other anons are right. There's something that inevitably looks "korean" about that pic you posted, they all seem to photograph their outfits in a very similar way (which is very trendy right now thanks to kpop) but if you take all that away and put those clothes on a white or black girl when you'd see that they're literally just average clothes. I didn't want to search for a long time, but just try googling black skater skirt + white blouse/shirt and you'll immediately come across dozens of pics of not super skinny, non-asian women who also look cute in it. There's nothing special about it, it's not kboo-ish at all, everybody could wear this.
I spent a year finishing my studies in my hometown where all my friends and family lives, saving money by staying with my sister who I get along really well with. I recently moved back in with my boyfriend in another town far away since my studies ended and he got a permanent, well paid job that he enjoys. Problem is - I'm unemployed and this town is small, shitty and not at all as pretty and welcoming as my hometown. I have no friends here, job opportunities are small unless I want to spend two hours on an expensive commute to the nearest big city (which I'm currently applying for jobs in), as opposed to my hometown where busses and trains are close by, plus if I'm lucky I could either bicycle or walk to work.
I'm going home to visit my family for Christmas and I'm sincerely considering just staying there. I don't own more than what can fit in a suitcase anyway. My boyfriend lived in the apartment before me and filled it with all his stuff, so I basically just brought my clothes and my laptop here.
I feel so stupid. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I love my boyfriend, he's a great guy and I missed him dearly while we were apart, but not as much as I'm now missing my friends and family and a sense of being independent. Despite being a broke student and living with my sister, I still had a sense of freedom. What makes it even harder is that my family and friends all express how much they miss me and are looking for jobs for me so I can move back.
I've been with my boyfriend for eight years. He keeps encouraging me assuring me that I will eventually get a job and that our lives here will be good.
I think what I hate the most is that he's so happy to have me back. He keeps telling me how being apart this one year was horrible for him and how he can't imagine a future without me, while I wouldn't mind if we had just stayed in a long distance relationship. I'm so afraid of making yet another stupid decision, yet the more I longer, the more it will hurt.
I'm such a mess.
that is NOT okay. he doesn't respect you if he's doing that.>>487642
right? one that starts with "R"
Let me guess he laments the no fap November decision because he’s just sooo horny all the time
High libido isn’t an excuse for using someone’s body when they’re incapable of consenting (unconscious). Unless you’ve negotiated that into the relationship (bdsmfagging), holy fucking shit you deserve better than assault
all of that sounds so stressful and horrific, I can only imagine the impact that must have had on your mental health growing up. hugs
you're strong anon.
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I can’t stop thinking about self harming despite not doing it for years and it’s killing me
Ew yeah anon, it is never worth it to send those types of pictures to men. I never have. I do ask them for pictures in specific poses if they're attractive (not dick pics). It's also hilarious if they get buttblasted when I don't send any back. As of they're entitled to them. Men should be putting themselves out there for us, not the other way around.
Don't let yourself be vulnerable as shitty men will take advantage of it. They get free pics to jerk off to while they disrespect you the entire time. What do you get from it?
I hate when people are willfully obtuse, but frame it as if they're being cautious of ambiguity in a given situation. Skepticism and open-mindedness are both good, but some people just take it way too far.
You could show a clip of a guy in red attacking a guy in yellow while verbally abusing him and hinting at why he's doing it, and the types of people I'm talking about would be like "Uhh, maybe the guy in red didn't realize he was actually beating up the guy in yellow? He could've been half-asleep, and thought he was just peeling a giant banana or something. Maybe he's not even hitting him that hard, and the guy in yellow just has a nosebleed and pukes up blood when he's excited. The video cuts out mid-punch. Maybe the guy in red immediately woke up and realized what he did, apologized, paid the guy's hospital bills, and they're friends now. We don't know the full story, guys. Don't be so quick to call everything assault".
They lean on the most unlikely excuses to obscure what's obvious, then accuse everybody else of being too pessimistic or quick to jump to conclusions.
I can tell part of it is just not wanting to believe people or society can be that bad or insane, but they're unwittingly letting people who do bad things get away scott free.
Like…Not everything is "just one big misunderstanding". Sometimes, shit just happens in broad daylight. That's how it is.
Thank you for your reply and your kind words, anon! A lot of the triggers
I have to wanting to do it is do to a lot of my childhood trauma(I.e being sexually abused and abused by my mother), which I cannot talk about because feeling shameful about it all. I’m going to talk to a crisis line the next time I’m feeling out of control though!
>>487718>talk to crisis line>they make fun of me and say bye and hang up
and i can relate, what helps for me is to draw with crayola pens on my skin and then the urge goes away.
This is a normal/necessary step for your recovery, anon, I'm proud of you! You need to lay down a boundary here and tell your friend that it's flattering that she thinks you're beautiful, but that this is something you only want to discuss with your therapist/doctor/support group/etc. and that if she respects you she'll stop bringing it up. >>487700
Good luck, anon! You deserve friends who support and uplift you!