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>>457403>>457403>and the people of other races who date whites.
All races do this. I've always thought those asian incel subs like aznidentity are a good example of this. They hate white men and asian women yet pedestalize white women.
Although I doubt they're actually dating anyone tbh.
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i think my crush is probably gay and it makes me want to die. i love him so much and i was hopeful that things are going to work out. some things he says point out to him being gay. if he's gay i have absolutely no chance. i want to cry. how do i get over this fucking feeling
>>457444>and why a lot of people don't take sociology very seriously as a science.
i agree with that, it shouldn't really be taken seriously the way it is now.
that's why there's conflicting studies on whether porn affects how men view women. we all know it does, but there's at least one study claiming that's not the case. of course it turned out to just be a shitty little survey done in one college, but it gets touted as a "study" to mislead people into thinking it can be held against studies that have actual brain analysis and indepth data
the only valid
studies have an assload of work and take into account a ridiculous amount of factors. anything else should just be billed as a survey by amateurs, or maybe a clumsy attempt at gathering statistics where there were previously none, and nothing more. but nobody will listen to this, because it's easier and more comfortable to take skewed information as fact to confirm personal biases
not them, but it literally is the definition of racebaiting.https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/race-baiting>the act of intentionally encouraging racism or anger about issues relating to race, often to get a political advantage
making objective, often inflammatory statements about a subjective topic directly related to race is racebaiting, anon. it's not only about mentioning specific races. that would just be racism, which can be combined with racebait, but isn't the same.
your personal definition doesn't change anything
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don't discuss things objectively, that's racist
broadly presenting your cringy, subjective opinions as if they’re objective facts, then insisting you're discussing them "objectively" isn’t the same thing as actually discussing things objectively, anon
if you were correct, every dumbass scrote who comes here to attack women should be allowed because they’re “just discussing things objectively”
>>457379>It makes me sad when white guys constantly shit on white women.
Then stop rewarding them with your attempts at companionship. I used to be just like you.
I thought, for the sake of kids if I had them, that race mixing would be a big deal and it would be oh so damaging to them. So I said I was a 'realist' and never bothered dating outside my own race. I totally swallowed that pill.
But you know what's worse than being a little confused about your heritage?
Growing up witnessing your dad being toxic
, if he's even in the picture at all.
ALL white men I've dated were either toxic
, entitled, lazy, or complete cucks. Even my own father, and now recently my stepfather, fall into the abusive
/absentee white guys category.
>But anon, that's just your personal anecdote.
So let people do what works for them on an individual basis. White women don't owe the caucasian race anything to date and reproduce with white men.
If our experiences have been nothing but shit with them then it's within our rights to seek other options.>But aren't you concerned that you're only valued and fetishized for your skin color?
What, in the same way white men body checked my waist, tit, and ass size in order to be considered a worthy mate?
It feels good being desired. If someone wants to put my skin color up on a pedestal then it's no different from white men fetishizing physical characteristics about women already.
White men SUCK right now.
Most /pol/tards I've seen are white men.
MGTOWs are mostly white men.
Incels and mass shooters are mostly white men.
Yick. They need to clean up their own house before I step foot in it again.
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>friend messages me on fb with a video of the beach
>ask her if it's from one of our trips not too long ago
>"No I'm actually at the beach with R!"
Oh, okay friend.
R, the guy who I thought you were mutually called off with because you're moving away.
R, the guy who you said isn't going to work out because he doesn't plan to move with you.
R, the guy you said won't take you 100% seriously because of your religious statis.
R, the guy who you constantly throw moody ass tantrums over when you're out with your friends because you're not doing the right things to get over him.
Yeah, R, the guy you're totally not helping yourself by prolonging feelings over by sleeping with him and going to the beach with him.
I'm so tired of hearing about this dude. Not only did he try hitting on me since they were officially not a thing, but I can tell he's the type to have side chicks. He's gonna hurt my friend like he already has, my friend is just being really dumb about him.
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Not Indian, but I'd go away in exchange for some masala right now.
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Don't tempt the gaze of death.
except those sites aren't for racebait discussions, tards like you just come in and derail them because you are mentally ill. it's like we can't escape your psychotic shitposts and that's the whole problem.
go and make your own website or subreddit like incels.com to bitch about how we should all be loyal broodmares for this race of men and never ever ever date anyone else or why that race of men is trash and we should all immediately date other men. duke it out for yourselves there and stop messing up innocent threads and forums with your bullshit
sane humans don't care
My roommate fucking STINKS!!! He's a full-blown Brony fag, never showers, never brushes his teeth (has had same toothpaste in his bathroom unopened for over a year!!!) He hoards food in his room and it makes the hallway leading to it reek of B.O., fast food, and POOP! One time he straight up smelled like shit and I almost vomited standing in front of him. He walks around in his little underwears covered (and I mean COVERED) in skid marks (he told my husband when there's no TP in the bathroom that he just uses his underwear???). Never washes his clothes, ok I lied, he does sometimes, but when he does they come out of the dryer sticky?? When he talks to me, his gums will randomly start bleeding. He'll eat the crud from underneath his nails. He eats food that has been sitting out on his bed over 24 hrs. His room is a nightmare - dirty dishes, fast food garbage, pizza boxes, literal food, just stacked in his room. Nasty jizz-injecting dildo and fleshlight that sits on his nightstand (you already know these have NEVER been washed!!!!!) GOD I AM JUST SO DISGUSTED I WANT TO SHAKE HIM!!!!
not wanting lolcow to go to shit is virtue signalling? i don't think you know what that term means. called out on an anonymous forum?
i'll drop it now because the /pol/tard seems to have gone, but you sound platinum retarded
An argument that was over by the time you commented about "lolcow going to shit" is not going to be the downfall of lolcow.
Get ahold of yourself and stay dropped.
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Forced meme Braco demands your s i l e n c e now
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others are never picked up
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Jealous how? The egotistic scumbag tried to hit on me when my friend is still emotionally (albeit stupidly) attached to him and bragged to my face about other women he was meeting up with. Friend knows this and doesn't care.
Oh and I think he's ugly too but that's just me.
I'm not doing or saying anything to her in response, even though it's incredibly difficult to keep a supporting face even though she's being stupid. And acting passive aggressive to our friend group when we hang out when she decides to have a mood swing. No clue where you're getting that I'm passive aggressive, but methinks this is hitting a little close to home for you lol.
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>>457514>innocent threads and forums
Lolcow is an innocent forum now.
Go to a doctor.
I mean if you're not an uninsured American like most mentally ill people I tell to go to the doctor online inevitably turn out to be.
I have bipolar 2 also anon and had a psychotic episode that started like that (not to scare you it could totally just be a manic episode but better safe than sorry.)
tell a friend if you can and maybe look up a crisis line and get in touch with someone who could give you resources. (there are local ones all over and they can refer you to services and it's also nice just to someone.)
my mom found one that had people come to my house to check in on me. they evaluate you and ask if you want to go to a hospital (if you decide you don't want to they just leave.) they will escort you and it's free and less stressful than ambulance.
have you been able to sleep? if there isn't a way for you to get help right now that's like the best thing you can do for yourself.
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I wish I could stop being into fucked-up shit that I am into. I can get off only on the vilest things and it's so bad I don't even want to mention them anonymously. Incest is probably the mildest of them.
I get why this is, it's trauma and ample amounts of self-hatred and suicidal ideation.
But honestly I wish I could just switch it off. At this point I am ready to blow my brains out because the intrusive thoughts are only perpetuating my disgust with myself and making my "fantasies" even worse.
I wonder if you could ever just walk back from that shit, retrace your steps and pretend nothing has happened, have some normal happy vanilla romantic/sexual feelings.
Or at least become a complete degenerate who's proud of their kinks as being something unique and different, like scrots usually do.
Sure, I can get therapy, but not right now as the only free therapist my city provides me with is connected to my primary psychiatric caregiver and getting "she wants to get murdered while fucked by her dad" on my file would be pretty upsetting to my overall diagnosis.
I used to struggle with intrusive thoughts about self harm/suicide/sex when I was young. I've been through the therapy wringer and while i'm still fucked in other ways but dealing with them was probably the best life skill I ever got out of therapy. Here is my best advice.
please remember we are animals are we are dumb and our brains get fucked up. it isn't your fault. your thoughts aren't "you" your actions are. jerking off to them just rewards the thoughts and keeps you pavloved. it's a pretty hard thing for anyone to break out of alone and the shame just makes it worse. (not that you should be proud. just neutral.)
there are other ways to find support that aren't therapy. set a reasonable goal and take a break from sex/masturbation. find some online support groups. try dbt/cbt worksheets. just try. any little way you challenge the thoughts helps break the cycle.
I do highly recommend guided mediation vids. You can find ones about sexual trauma and intrusive thoughts specifically. I know telling mentally ill people to meditate is a meme. i can't "just meditate" for the life of me but popping on a video when im freaking out calms me down or at least distracts me long enough for shit to pass.
also don't be paranoid they won't literally write down shit in your file like that and if you want to talk without even digging in to what your fetishes actually are that's completely possible. finding ways to cope with the thoughts is way important than what they are. any therapist worth their salt won't pressure you to disclose as long as you are willing to work on the problem.
What are your interests and hobbies? I'm guessing it's nerdy stuff, since you can socialize with nerdy men.
Try finding women who share your hobbies and interests, even if its through internet first.
I had a same problem back in high school and first year of uni and was really bad when it came to small talk. But as I managed to find friends I realized that "be yourself" advice is actually good. It's just that it doesn't work with people you have nothing in common with.
As you start to communicate with women who have things in common with, you will gradually learn how to small talk with everyone else too. What you first need is to accept yourself and not feel inferior because you have different interests.
Thank you for advice and reassurance, anon.
I tried jacking off to normal things and it still pops into my mind right at the end. So I probably should take a break overall. It's not like I have high libido or need/crave it all that much.
Yeah, I know they technically can't write it down, but really mental healthcare in my country is abysmal and gossiping about clients is a common thing so… I wouldn't want to out myself. Especially considering I could actually implicate my father for some crimes in the process and I wouldn't want to do that because nothing good can come out of it.>>457762
I really hope I will. This is wearing me down harder than my life-long depression. Who knew sexual deviancy actually isn't fun at all.
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ANON I KNOW I'M RETARDED TOO I HOPE YOU FIND COOL FRIENDS TO WATCH REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA WITH HAVE A HUG OR MAYBE NOT IF ITS WEIRD OK BYE
Your response made me feel better, ty Anon.
I guess my bf keeps talking to him because he’s like a big brother that apparently is living this crazy, amazing on the road life full of sex and fun while doing art (he has a guitar and shiny boots… and he gets acting gigs sometimes). I think he admires him in a way.
I mean, when I met him I also thought he was cool. Now I see things differently.
today at work happened something that just doesn't stop bothering me.
usually the first one to enter the lunch break room, this means that turn on all lights, open the windows for some nice fresh air and turn on the radio because you spend hours in a place of noise and other unpleasant sounds.
As mentioned I turn on the radio and today I made it a bit louder than usual because on monday (and other times as well) an older co-worker complained about the radio being on while you don't really heard anything because in the meantime people gathered in the said room, which made the radio hard to hear, but still loud enough that it was playing in the background. She then always slaps(in a really aggressive way) the radio switch off and and says that it's waste of electricity and money to have if on. Today she did the same way but it was this time so harsh the way she did it and then she stood there while making her coffee saying: "See, nobody really notices when it's on or off it was so quiet!". At the same time everybody turned around to her because they wondered why the music went silent and she says: "Anybody wants to hear it?", before anybody could answer she proceeds with:"Just as I thought, nobody wants to hear this noise".
She then always joins her friend, which usually always complains that the radio is too loud. Then they sit there and talk the loudest in the room about trash reality tv and shit on facebook in the then awkward silence.
I just like to have this music in the background because I feel that everybody can just enjoy themselves and is not bothered to be forced to listen to some other peoples talk, which everybody will listen to when the radio is off or just hear the news for a weather update. I do it for idk how many years and always try to make it as loud as some nice background noise so you won't feel like in a church when it's all quiet idk I will still continue with it, no matter if she has a bad day again or nah. The again, she will retire really soon so it's not worth being angry about I guess lol
I don't know if there are some bisexual feelings awakening in me or I just hate men too much. Like, I don't actively hate men but I do distrust them and I'm disappointed in them.
I don't feel intensely sexual about women, but there are some girls I'd die to kiss. Also, if a cute girl wanted to kiss me, I think I'd do it even without really knowing her (I really want to kiss someone - but I wouldn't kiss a random man, ever). I think I'd even go home with a girl… when I imagine having ONS with a woman, I am willing, and I'd gladly be like - please teach me, show me what to do. I'm a virgin and there's a guy I'm talking with, and even though I'm very attracted to him, the thought of having sex with him is super stressful to me and I'm anxious to even admit I'm a v. While when imagining it with a woman, I wouldn't be wary.
I don't know how much of it all is my men aversion. I don't know if I'm bi or just curious. I'm feeling pretty weird.
>>457833>i don't think i could ever do it since my conscience would eat at me
Hispanic here, Call them, i would call the shit out of them, my family in the US actually has called on several people. We don't like illegals and criminals bringing down their neighborhoods and giving latinos a bad name, everyone else suffers for it, the whole point of going through with immigration is to run away from lowlifes from back home and people who don't follow the law.
You should have zero remorse, its way shittier for everyone if you do nothing. Imagine your conscience if this criminals hurt someone. They don't get to have the same consideration as people who work hard and do their paperwork, fuck illegals.
>>457842>hispanic anon also but you do realize the immigration system is pretty broken and impossibly slow, right?
So? each country has it standards, they don't need to turn themselves into another latinamerica by letting everyone in and giving free citizenships away, and legal citizens should not tolerate bad behaviour and criminal activity isrupting their way of life. A lot of people are not going away from latinamerica to better themselves or their lives but to make their host country more like Latin America and behave just liked they behaved back home, if you know how things are like in latino countries and, sadly, how many latin americans are like when it comes to abusing the system not caring for law and authority you know that the first world standards of living should not be taken for granted and they have the right to preserve them.
If your neighbors are illegals that are behaving in an uncivilized manner and committing other crimes and ruining the neighborhood the right thing is to call the law on them so they can take care of it. Someone behaving well would not stand out anyway and you would not have to know if they are illegal or not and this would not even be a problem, but if they are wrongdoing and neighbors do nothing they are only calling for it to get worse and eventually they will loose their neighborhood and turn into a favela.
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I'm in my late 20s and my metabolism couldn't be slower than ever despite all my efforts to shed weight. I'm overweight so not obese. It's not like people will turn their heads when they see and call me a fatty (if I posted my pic on lolcow on the other hand…) I have this disgusting mombod without being a mom and you would think I eat burgers, pizzas, and junk food on the regular while it's the opposite. I watch my diet, I do regular physical activity, all of the recommended stuff for losing weight and I just don't see any results. My scale doesn't seem to budge either.
I hate that I care so much about appearance that I can't even enjoy myself. I visited my grandma for a week and it's the first time in a long time I ate this much and I feel like such a pig. I looked at myself in the mirror and started crying. It's pathetic but I feel so hopeless. I hate going outside when there's lots of people. I hate buying new clothes and trying them out. In fact, I feel that buying nice clothes is such a waste on someone like me. I feel that I uglify everyone's day and lower everyone's status by just being in their presence. I fucking hate myself. I can't even comfort eat.
Thanks anon. That was my decision too. I'll just have to limit my caloric intake to be sub 500 or even completely skip meals altogether and see how it goes for two weeks.
> It just maintained my weight and kept me very healthy, fit, and well-nourished, plus gave me muscle tone, but the scale didn't move and I stayed a higher weight than I wanted to be.
This exactly! It's like I turned into a female version of bearmode and I have broad shoulders and I'm tall so it just looks so awful on me.
The only thing that I want is that my lifestyle is reflected on me. I get people oftentimes joking how I must have a huge appetite. They don't mean to offend but it stings so hard.
>>457864>I'll just have to limit my caloric intake to be sub 500
Sounds pretty extreme. If you're eating healthy and you exercise regularly then perhaps you're already where you ought to be. You can't starve away a large frame.>>457876
It sounds to me like she is stressed out and in need of a gazing session.
If you're already talking to guys through dating apps maybe try talking to girls too, there's no harm in just talking to them and seeing how you feel about it
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This sounds like bait, but I've unironically forgotten how to divide numbers. I've used my phone and calculator so long I can't do it by hand.
I always fear that this will happen to me, but honestly I've been terrible at math all my life that I don't think it matters.
I do long multiplication/division through a really roundabout method (cannot for the life of me ever remember how to do it through the standard method) so it takes me a long time anyway, but it's so easy and relies mostly on addition so it's easy to remember.
I was gonna say that he's traumatized or depressed and trying to cope hard but>he'll say stuff like no one is attractive to him and that he won't ever feel it again, or that he's not interested in sex at all
That's some harsh shit to say to you in an indirect way. Not attracted to you and isn't interested. Um, ouch?
If sexuality is a need then he either needs to compromise, or you should move on. Sounds like he's got lingering issues. Get you a man who will want to sex you anon.
What I don't understand is, why are people asking other minorities (especially blacks) to help Hispanics when 30-40% of you voted for trump?
This is not race-bait, I really don't understand why people expect black people to help with everything "progressive".
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I am so tired of being ugly and fat. I've got PCOS, which makes trying lose weight a fucking NIGHTMARE. I can't go out with my friends because they all always want to go get food I can't have without gaining fucking 10 pounds just from looking at it.
They're all pretty average to small and they're all (imo) really pretty. We're a mixed group of alt fashion nerds who sort of congregated together.
So in a group of about 5 pretty punk/goth girls I'm the fat, ugly goth. It sucks so much. It's been bothering me more since I realized just… how ugly I am? Out with friends just walking around/window shopping, they constantly get compliments from the shop employees, or from other customers.
Not to mention I'm not even aesthetically nice fat- I've got huge knees and deep hip dips instead of at least rounded out hips, huge ankles, fat hands.
Even if I manage to lose some, it always comes back.
>visit an endocrinologist>take your metformin and birth control pills>intermittent fasting 16/8>weigh your food>keto hard
I lost 30% of my weight in 6 months. That was several years ago. You can do it!
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I hated this guy, and I hated his song and I hated the whole whole arc he is the part of. The other two got such better arcs.
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assert your dominance by slapping the radio back on.
maintain eye contact.
I thought that part was super tryhard.
Also >Steven fuses with Amethyst and we get a bulbous, cartoony Smokey Quartz>two dorky fat male characters fuse and form that, suuuuuuuure
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Thanks- I'm actually already subbed to Keto and PCOS. I've got other issues, but it's the biggest one on my plate. It just sucks that they're pretty/fit with so little effort and to even glance it I have to put in so much effort to do so. I'm still trying but it's disheartening to hang out with them.
(i want to say theyre lovely people. They're just blessed with better genetics/faster metabolism/not having pcos) Attached is approximations of our body types. (not us, but people who looks similar enough. friends on left.)
My arms and thighs are bigger than the girl on the right, and my torso is a bit shorter.
If you're not already doing so, go for clothes that flare out around the hips and hug the waist to give it definition. Lightweight tops with sleeves are your friend.
That camisole and jean capri combo is one of the most unfortunate outfits for most plus size people.
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It annoys me how many entitled shits from western countries claim to be communists or support communism when they have no idea how it fucking works and that it was a disaster and it could never be applied as in theory (marx and engels) because it has already been consumed as a political ideology. I hate capitalism as well but as someone that lives in a post-communist country capitalism and democracy are still much better than communism and the way it was applied, only we know what atrocities our parents and grandparents had to go through and communism affects us and will affect the upcoming generations as well since the government and public services still work in a very communist, corrupt and bureaucratic way.
Most people that were born in countries that weren't communist at some point can't understand the struggle the people living in communist regimes had to go through their parents had job options, freedom of speech etc etc. I've never met anyone from a post-commie country claiming to support communism unless they're like 80 years old and had some sort of important function within the communist party back then. Most of the youth is actually terrified at the thought of communism since their parents would tell them horror stories from the soviet era.
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Trust me, I know this feeling you describe very well. But you know what? Most people love you the way you are if you are a nice person. Nitpicking looks like we do on lolcow is reserved for nasty people. I managed to pick up my husband when I was fat, he even complained when I lost weight. I was baffled. It was me who was obsessed with looks and thought I'd only be worthy of him if I became thin.
This kind of negative thinking is also part of the depression and mood swings caused by PCOS, therefore keep up good habits fighting it. Fasting is a very important part, as there are multiple scientific studies confirming the positive effect of fasting on several kinds of mental illness, including depression. You will look better, have more energy and most importantly, you will feel confident about yourself no matter how you currently look like. Talk to your doctor if you have any health concerns before going full keto / fasting, better be safe than sorry.
Apart from that I think you sound like a really lovely person, and you are most probably many years younger than I am, so go out and make something good out of your life, enjoy your youth! Do the best you can, let go of what you can't change. If you make an extra effort, everyone else usually notice though they don't comment on it, they will think highly of you.
You might think it's unfair and a lot of hassles but in the end, heros are made by the paths they choose… not the powers they are graced with. <3
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because yall need love and wholesomeness
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thanks anon, i am glad i am not the only one. I am Venezuelan so imagine how much first world bs i've had to facepalm at. I don't bring it up anymore online because i know some jackass from an expensive US school is going to scream chavista propaganda at me or tell me how it wasn't real socialism for the gazillionth time.
Just die, stop commiesplanin to people who lived in these regimes.
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Time will heal this as surely as it has healed past embarrassments for us.
Please though, try to take a break from drinking. One day at a time. First try today. Then try tomorrow. Then the day after, etc.
Don't beat yourself up.
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I don't even want to click that. We are far too aware of that sub, they keep bullying and harassing venezuelans online and are the absolute worst. As if the last 20 years of propaganda bombardment and abuses were not enough for us. Even making this post i'm afraid i'll invoke them and they'll start swarming in here.
Exercise is garbage when it's working out for the sake of working out. The gym and running can get fucked, and so can all the liars who claim muh endorphins to cope with the tedium and suffering.
Sports, on the other hand… finding a physical activity you actually have fun doing and want to improve at is a game changer. Suddenly you've got goals and a hobby and being seen as attractive becomes less important, regardless of how the exercise impacts your body.
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Yo I‘m sick of pretending to believe my friends actually care about whatever new news. Like the forest fires, they would lament on how terrible it was, link petitions and whatever non-news that was some minor update on it. It was the same with the notre dame fire, like "oh noooo we went there and saw that", I mean, of course they didn‘t actually donate, and once it was out of the news cycle it wasn‘t mentioned again!
And for the forest fires, I linked other, larger forest fires going on, like in Siberia. "oh that‘s terrible" and NO mention of it again, no investigating that or the scope of it. Just reposting those new amazon fire links because that‘s the fucking topic du jour.
Speaking of, one thing that REALLY fucked me off was when I bought something off of a popular company and mentioned it. "oh, you purchase things on there? they‘re a terrible company! Unethical practices, work conditions etc. I saw it on twitter".
I mean, I WORKED THERE. I needed the income desperately and I worked long nightshifts at their warehouse and it was back breaking and inhumane. I was injured because I was instructed to do something despite my protests of it being unsafe, and they didn‘t have any supplies to treat it in the med room. The managers or operation of things fucked up and I was given the blame for it. Ridiculous demands or comments made by managers and no way do have solid proof because phones etc were banned. A viciously competitive environment between workers because of the false promise of a full time job. If you were late or off, no matter the circumstance 3 times, you were fired no questions. I almost had a mental break and I TOLD my friend this at the time. I said that if this is what working conditions were like in the west, I dread to think how it was elsewhere. I watched documentaries and looked into it myself, no big news scandal needed, and I informed them at the time, too. I did my best to not support the company, but sometimes they were the only place I could get what I needed.
Of course, the personal experience and investigation their friend made to deem the company unethical wasn‘t enough. Noooo, they needed fucking twitter outrage so they could spout off and feel morally superior to anyone who did patron that company. Despite the fact that they did it plenty in the past, AFTER I told them what a shitty company it was.
I was about to make a bitter comment about how there just needs to be some fresh scandal on twitter about nestle so they can hear me about that, but the thing is that even after the big news blowup…nothing comes of it!! It‘s just sending links, signing online petitions, cooing to each other about how terrible and awful it is and forgotten once the news coverage decreases.
Exercise sucks until you find something you like. I enjoy team sports and there's the social aspect but I haven't joined any clubs in a while with moving and I conditioning takes ages.
I've been doing low impact stuff like yoga and stretching to improve flexibility. I honestly would recommend that. You don't need to measure weight or inches, you are just pacing yourself and improving every stretch by working on form. Improving flexibility will strengthen your muscles and improve how you carry yourself. I cannot tell you the joy I felt the first time I touched my toes with ease I could never do that shit in highschool and I was captain of a sports team lol. It strengthens your core which even helps with your gait and everyday walking. You'll notice your stamina go up and the best part is stretching and yoga isn't they energetic compared to running etc, so it feels less work.
I feel thats mostly a scrot meme, they fell better from the testosterone release, of course if you are a woman testosterone would just make you feel pissed off and dirty.
Exercise is still good though, not just for finding a partner, it will keep you healthy and fence off things that will really make you feel awful, just don't over do it or streess over it if you just want to get by and not be a fitness buff. no one has to be ripped to be healthy.
I bet most of them are American too, like most of the retards that support communism. I swear most Americans have the shittiest grasp over politics and history, it's like they are isolated from the rest of the world. I had 4 years of history classes about the history of communism in my country and both communism and marxism in general, then I had to take a huge exam on everything that I have learned. I'm tired of stupid Americans telling me that it wasn't communism or some shit like that, they don't even want to learn from me, a person that actually lived in a post-commie country and experienced communism indirectly and actually had to study about it.Yes,this was communism you privileged shit. Unless your parents and grandparents were immigrants in America or black and even then they still had more options than my parents and grandparents. My parents had to wait in line 4 hours at 6 in the morning for bread and milk, they couldn't buy anything from the stores because there were no imported goods they had to choose between 2 types of soda and chocolate, my grandmother had 2 illegal abortions where she almost died, my great grandfather that was a writer rotted in jail and was tortured because the communist party decided his books spread anti-communist propaganda.
I'm sorry for the sperg, I'm just really mad over this.
I would take a look at where you are seeing, reading, or hearing these pro commie, American comments. Most Americans IRL don't agree with any of that.
One of my best friends was a Jewish refugee from Kiev. He left in about 1980, and his family eventually made it to the US. He had a Che Guevara flag when I met him. Absolutely ridiculous. He just wanted to look cool or sound edgy. We have had many disagreements over the years. Some people are just edgy idiots.
Yeah fuck them.
I also hate the people who joke about muh crippling depression and being a disappointment when they have a close group of friends, romantic partners, a degree and a job or go to grad school, and also have a great internet presence and following.
>>458102>Most Americans IRL don't agree with any of that.
Very true, the chavista idiots protesting in favor of Maduro in the US are only a few clowns no one takes seriously irl. Theres usually more venezuelan migrants just laughing at their rallies than chavista zealots.
But they are very over represented online and all over reddit and ibs. Just like trans people, its only a small segment of the population but online they make a lot of noise.>>458087
Chapos is an american podcast and the subs are absolutely majority american. A friend send me this caption some time ago from a census they did on their users on their own site and turns out most are unemployed white males from upper middle class who are insulting us.
Basically a bunch of stereotypical neets incels who fap to traps.
Sorry to hear that anon, hope you managed to flee that shithole.
I got into a fight with one of my friends because she retweeted some Venezuelan artist promoting their commissions so they can save money and emigrate and then my friend proceeded to mock that artist for thinking life outside was better. I think nobody is willing to leave their country unless they hope for something better.
Not OP, but your posts really make me want to get up and find something fun to do. I used to work out for the sake of working out a lot, and all I got out of it was shin splints that haunt me to this day if I powerwalk for too long lol.
Maybe I'll finally do those yoga workouts I have saved to a YT playlist. I've been looking into taking rock climbing classes too because I always thought it looked super fun (tried it once as a kid and it didn't disappoint, I loved it) but I'd only be able to commit once a week and one of the only facilities in my city is expensive as fuck and wouldn't be worth the money. For now I've been taking long walks on the weekends in the early morning in my neighborhood, it's not strenuous but I really enjoy zonking out and just walking about randomly.
I hope you'll find your group of people anon. Things change, people change, it's just a really unfortunate part of life. I'm only a bit older than you, but I felt really similar growing up. It really sucks watching all of your former friends come together and stay tight knit while you watch on the sidelines, or to just watch people who you never thought would leave your side just suddenly… disappear one day. My "main" group of friends was constantly changing as I grew up- the group of people that I thought I'd spend forever with kept changing before my eyes. As an adult, I'm very fortunate to have a handful of highschool friends still reach out to me a few times a year, but it does sort of sting to see them with a bigger group of our friends having not been invited.
Even my most recent college friends who I really trusted and thought we would be ~*~*friends forever*~*~ with just dwindled down to almost no one. It might be a while until you find someone who stays by your side. I'm very grateful to my best friend for staying and changing with me, but I can only hope she'll continue to do so. It's cliche, but you're still young, you have plenty of time.
I've put it together that I was depressed and had anxiety as a kid/teen (at the very least… I might have deeper issues but I'm still scared to go to a professional), but totally ignored it because I grew up during the rise of 'depression culture' and didn't want to be THAT person…
My family/home life was the source of my depression, and having it since so young, I've been unable to form meaningful or lasting friendships as a kid/teen. I've also been this way for so long that people I'm currently close-ish with expect me to be like this, they don't know how bad my mental health really is because I've always been like this. I'm not sure if I even know how bad it is, every day is a new surprise in finding out just how mal-adjusted I am. I have improved, and it makes me sad that I'm finally starting to understand things that I couldn't see while deep in it.
There were a lot of things I struggled to understand because I was already dead inside in elementary school. How do I carve out a personhood for myself as a mid 20s adult? I feel like I have no identity, because I spent so much time in my youth dissociating. Is this depersonalization?: I finally became comfortable seeing my name in print and feeling like it refers to me FINALLY, THIS YEAR.
But now I'm starting to understand how people who seem happy and successful in life can just suicide seemingly out of the blue. I'm happier and have a better perspective and more hope than ever, and I still constantly think about ghosting everyone and disappearing (barely a step up from suicidal).
Is there somewhere I can connect to other people or stories from those without pre-trauma identities? I know I should just go to a professional, but I still haven't accepted my issues as valid enough to do so.
I feel you anon, same problem in university rn.
Have a hug
I'm sorry about your cat, from what you say you didn't fail her at all, you did all that you could and then you made a tough and responsible decision to stop her from being in more suffering. You were a good pet owner, you did good.
If it's advised by the doctor then you should probably consume those shakes, just in case it's relevant to the predicted healing process or anesthetic. Try mixing them with as little water as possible and standing close to the faucet, force yourself to shot and swallow as much of it as possible and then immediately stick your head under the tap to drink as much water as possible to get rid of the taste. It will taste worse but you can get it over with faster. You can also contact your doctor to see if there is anything else you're allowed to consume to take the after taste away.
Good luck with your surgery anon be kind to yourself
Your cat is in a better place now, probably somewhere warm and covered with her favorite toys! She probably has tons of angels at her beck and call so that she will always be fed and loved on. Losing a pet is never easy anon, you made the right choice in the end.
As for the shakes, whenever I have to drink nasty stuff I'll usually opt for a straw so that I can shove it back as far as possible and then drink so it goes straight down my throat. You'll probably still get a little taste but it definitely beats have it run all over your mouth. Best of luck with your surgery anon.
I am so sorry for your cat, anon. She doesn't have to suffer anymore and no matter how dumb this sounds, she would want you to take care of you. You didn't fail her, you had her best interest in mind. Do the icky shakes, your doctor didn't order you to drink them for nothing, i suggest filling a water bottle and having that in one hand, shake in other. Alternate to get it down. I honestly feel for you so hard, it's gonna be ok, anon. Good luck with everything, surgery and life in general.
Dumb thing i read that helped me when my cat had to be put down was that all cats that pass away are looked after freddie mercury in the aFtErLiFe, that always comforts me to no end.
Swimming or running, you are your own oponnent and are constantly beating your own records.
Martial arts maybe. I did Tae Kwondo and swiming when i was younger and it was great for me, i am not really a team player and hated all the other sports but i really like a chance to beat people up and only worry about my own records instead of what other people from my team are doing.
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Had a really really good day today and I honestly can’t have good days because it ends with me crying over how depressing my day to day life is and how rarely I have opportunities to feel happy. All I did today was walk around my university with my best friend and act dumb and be loud and walk around the forest near by and eat lunch, but it was such a good time the weather is so nice right now and i’m just thinking tomorrow i have to go back to my boring job stuck in a dark office to get out tired and late at night and always miss the day and it’s just a cycle. I never really get to do anything but work and it’s taken over my whole life since i was a teenager and i never really got to enjoy or have much fun. At this point having good days just ends up badly for me since I just always end up wanting for it not to end and having to go back to my normal life. And that leads to me realizing why I don’t have fun is because i’m not attractive enough to get invited places and overall have a bad personality. I feel like i’m rambling but I don’t have a good way to put it into words.
I can totally relate to your feeling. For the longest time I really believed that all the bad shit happening to me is karma for me being a piece of shit and that it will pay off one day, maybe>"I'm trying but I really am just irredeemable…"
I just want someone to tell me that deep down I'm a good person. But when kind people did tell me this, it didn't change anything. I think all we can do is try to live well and do good because it's the kind of person we want to be, not because we have some intrinsic good/bad nature that we must pursue/abate. Idk tho, just my cope
it can't be cured but can be managed well with time.
i don't have bpd but had a friend with it and while I was researching i found some promising articles that said it becomes significantly easier to deal with around 25-30 (this was the case with other personality disorders as well)
nobody was completely sure why yet but if i had to guess it's because of that sweet sweet frontal lobe development
i don’t think it can be cured 100% since there’s no guarantee that you keeping symptoms in check will mean that they’ll be in check forever, but it can be treated. mood stabilizers definitely help but won’t alleviate everything. bpd is unfortunately one of those things you really need to put in the legwork to get results out of. if you don’t have a therapist, there are a lot of dbt exercises you can find online that’ll help… they’re all really boring and repetitive but they do work.
i used to have angry outbursts too, and the trick is stopping yourself from yelling because yes, it’ll feel good to react in the moment but it does more damage than that temporary relief will give you. if your outbursts happen around other people, remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes and either come back when you’ve naturally calmed down or once a dbt exercise has helped you. it’ll take time, but you’ll get the hang of it.
i won’t lie to you and say i’m completely better. i’ve been casual about my “recovery” for many years and the core worries i have from having bpd are still here, but you learn how to manage it.
a thing i like to do is write down your entire train of thought to see how it got from point A to point Z within a matter of seconds; it helps point out how unrealistic it is. also if you have family or friends you can rely on, it helps to ask like “hey is x actually happening or am i overreacting?” and they’ll tell you honestly. 9/10 it will be bpd logic. self-help books on bpd are also very helpful. i’d go to your local bookstore and look through them to see which one works best for you.
i should also say i’m not a professional in any capacity and these are all just methods that have worked for me and that i’ve been in your position before. i believe in you, anon
I am mentally ill, thats a fact and was medicated for a bit for anxiety and psicotic and manic episodes but could not follow through and get a complete diagnosis, i had no money, i have an elderly family member who was also sick and even the Xanax was awful and made me want to die more than ever.
I am 30 and i am scared to try again with psychiatrists and i am scared of the diagnosis, is likely to be bpd, even if i could afford the treatments and stuff i know i am fucked and is probably something that will never go away and is too late for me to start treatment as an oldfag.
I'll probably keep deteriorating and end up in the street talking to myself eventually or slashing my wrists before starving to death locked in my room the way my life is going.
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my boyfriend and I are at the age where marriage and kids are valid to discuss and he does often but he'll still do dumb shit like make an appointment without checking if it's on a day he has work. he'll say, "i'm not like you!" as if it's not basic common sense to check things like that. especially in his case where the appointment is really important and hard to make and his work schedule is strict and practically impossible to rearrange. he should've told him his free days but instead he just said, "ok." to the earliest appointment then got mad when i told him that was on a day he has work. while he can fix it it still frustrates me and makes me second guess settling down with him when he still struggles with many common adult basics like this.
Thanks for the advice, anon. I've been worrying so much I honestly didn't even think of that. I thought I would just have to be in the position of hoping he didn't try something. I need to develop some fucking agency.
I agreed to go out with him over text and I suppose when we first meet up tomorrow I'll just say that I'd like to take things slow. So if he still tries something after that it would be a pretty easy decision to not go out again.
Indians are ruining the Internet.every month India gains mullions of new Internet users thanks to affordable data plans and those Indians start creeping into every corner of the Internet,users like this are >>457460
clearly Indians who derail threads and make the Internet more shitty(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
i have the same mean nature and was also abusive
when I was a teen. ive been making efforts and I think they are slowly paying off, I've been becoming more empathetic and patient. in this case faking it til you make it seems to work.
also don't be shy about your emotions and feelings - being ashamed of being sensitive was the main cause of my lashing out.
I've only had three male hairdressers, of whom two were great, but one said something like "Haha, yeah, all the men are better at this stuff (stuff = cooking, etc). It's just the facts!"
I just uncomfortably laughed and didn't say anything, because I didn't want to be a source of "discomfort", but I should have. Why do men think they're "better" than women in these? If anything, men have had more opportunities than women, even in "feminine" domains, so of course there are going to be more men who are at the top of their game. But yes, let us conveniently forget the talented and hardworking women because they're not men.(>>>pinkpill)
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Same stuff happened in my homeland and we were never under communism. I present you the political compass chart!
And no I'm not from some banana republic doomed to poverty etc by its colonial past – which is also a (pre) capitalist invention kek
That's why you get dragged by some basic whitos: at least their big 10 education bought them some political theory 101
I now realize I was aswell. Everyone around me was getting in relationships and I started "late", I was desperate for love and affection I didn't have when I was a kid at home. I romanticized bad behaviour and hurt more than one person at the time. I didn't realize what I was doing until I got in a relationship with someone I truly felt in love and ended up abused and cheated myself. I later had toxic
behaviour with friends. I struggled a lot to be a better person and "train" myself how not to be an asshole, basically. I am now more sensitive and sincere, but I still regret truly a lot about my pastself.
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>>458553>achtually you need a very high IQ to understand political memes from 18 yrl old upper middle class americans kids that took a sociology elective so your entire life experience and your own education is not valid
the condescending and patronizing from commie fucks never ends.
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I feel like I'm suffering from major imposter syndrome with my second language. I've been learning it for six years (almost seven) and moved to the country where it's natively spoken to take an advanced language course six months ago so you'd think I'd be near fluent but I'm so not. I don't understand how I'm both fairly advanced and yet so fucking clueless at the same time. Some things I can understand really well (or do I? can't even fucking tell) and other things I'm a fumbling dumbass with.
Plus the whole six months I've been living here I've avoided human contact as much as possible because conversations give me anxiety, which only makes my problem worse because speaking has always been my weakest skill and I'm not doing anything to help improve it by avoiding conversations, but I still keep doing it and continue to sound like a retard when I speak.
I moved to this country for uni and my exam to prove sufficient language skills so I can enroll and start my studies is on Monday. I have not studied at all. Part of me is incredibly anxious that I'll fail, but part of me is weirdly zen. I need to get a C1 level result to pass, and on both official mock exams held by the uni I scored at a C2 level. So I guess I should be fine, but at the same time, am I really a fucking C2 speaker? There's still so much that I don't know so how can I be C2?!?! I can't help but feel that I'm just one of those people who's good at taking tests but doesn't actually know the material so when I start my degree in the fall I'll humiliate myself.
But what she did is literal human trafficking.
A lot of parents sell their sons and daughters to human trafickers, that doesn't make it ok.
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Watched The nice guys movie with some male friends last night and one of them couldn’t shut up about how he wants to fuck the actress that plays Ryan Goslings daughter in the movie. And she’s like ten.
When I told him that was disgusting he basically told me I was a washed up hag, even though I’m two years younger than him lmfao.
I never thought of him as a pedophile before, he just has a thing for girly girls with short hair but damn, that evening ruined my opinion on him
They just kinda glared at him and my boyfriend asked him if he’s blind or something.
The other two guys are on thin fucking ice themselves though, one of them is like 22 and has been dating a seventeen year old for the last four years so…l
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And you're still friends with these men why…?
There's a guy in my online friend group who keeps posting his incredibly shitty porn drawings on our Whatsapp chat. They look like if a middle schooler with learning disabilities tried to copy Shadman (at least he only draws women who are clearly adults and none of that loli shit). He openly admits that he uses hentai as reference instead of actual pictures of real women, and goddamn it really shows. Broken spines, impossible "thicc" proportions, tits starting at the collarbones, vaginas positioned way too front. Not to mention the weird anime-inspired faces, they look exactly like what every little preteen weeb used to scribble on their notebooks at school.
No one else in the group seems to be bothered by them. On the contrary, they comment on them positively, give pointers and requests, congratulate him on "improving". I don't know if they're just being nice or if they actually think he's talented. One time I straight up said how shitty I thought they looked, and I got called whiny because they're "unrealistic on purpose!". He's been feeling "creative" for the past few days, posting at least 15 different tentacle porn drawings. It's not really worth starting any fights over so I just try to ignore it, mute the chat and hope no one says anything important in between the cumbrain flood.
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If there's any god or superior being out there, please, either let this girl fall in love with me or let me forget her asap.
They’re friends of my boyfriend, so not really friends but I at least accepted them until yesterday. Thats done though kek
Talked with my bf about it and turns out he’s pretty creeped out about it too. Said the guy who talked about wanting to fuck her probably was just drunk and being stupid but he will talk with him about it later.
The other guy who’s dating the seventeen year old is just a dick altogether. Tried to get me involved in a threesome with them before and keeps making weird sexual jokes about me. Even got his gf to randomly french kiss me before while she was drunk and I was just chilling and minding my own business. Been talking to her lately though and I think she will probably break up with him as soon as she graduates, so at least theres that I guess
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I hope none of them lurk here because this could probably start some shit, but here you go
You should say something about not knowing he was into post op trans girls and congratulate him on having such progressive preferences.
He can stew on that trying to figure out why you'd say that.
I think they're like robot tentacles or something, since that's supposed to be 2B. And I don't have his number saved or even interact with him that much, we're just in the same group chat.>>458736
Lmao I gotta remember to try that next time
dunno anon, languages are weird. English is my second language and I've studied it since 1st grade so like age 7. I passed 2 different English proficiency tests at C2 level at age 17, got 97% on one of them even, and was widely regarded as the most competent student English-wise in my school so you could say I felt proficient as fuck. After that, I moved to UK for uni reasons and now, looking back on my English when I was 17, it feels like I was a bumbling idiot with a lexicon of 150 words barely able to hold a conversation, despite having evidence against that in the form of my exam results.
From the time you've spent on it and your past test results I'd say you probably are C2 speaker, just more self-aware/conscious than 17 year old me lol, Dunning-Kruger and that.
Not sure if my anecdote was insightful in any way but I do highly recommend going out of your way for that person to person interaction, I fell like talking with people around me in these 4 years has helped me much more than the majority of formal schooling I have received then again most of it was downright useless and I learnt primarily from internet and fanfics anyway lol
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was her incontinence investigated at all? my cat is 16 and has been having accidents lately but we're looking into the causes with our vet and have gotten her another litter tray which has helped a lot. we've washed and put away items she's peed on because after cats have peed on something once, they'll just instinctively pee on it again, even if it's been washed. she's a pretty chill cat and her issue hasn't been a huge deal to my family. I couldn't imagine having her put to sleep because of it. Maybe if it was worse, like if it was causing her extreme distress and there was nothing we could do to help her? I don't know the full details of the kitty you're talking about but in my case it's unthinkable.>My boyfriend is deathly allergic but I would've gotten rid of him and taken the cat lol.
you're a good person anon.
sounds like this guy who always gets in at the same bus stop as I do
teeth looking like never brushed, fedora and neckbeard combo and always the same grey shirt with dubious stains (i hope it's just food)
dude tried to flirt with me once and got upset when he found out i'm "too old" aka 19 at the time
i feel sorry for anyone who has to live with that kind of guy, you'd hope they would at least have the decency to live alone or stay in their parents basement so no one has to witness them
me too anons, id be you guyses friends if we went to the same uni
(good fucking taste utena anon, bless you)
don't feel bad, in a recent lecture i was in a girl struggled with calculating 1000-250 in her head
you could see in her face how she wanted to take her phone but didn't wanna embarass herself
like i get most other students joke about stuying law "because there's no math in it" but…..
No, of course it's not your fault your insane friend is suicidebaiting so you pick them instead of your ex. I don't know if going back to your ex is exactly a wise choice either depending on why you broke up, but even if you promised this dude you'd pick him and then didn't, it's no reason to attempt suicide. Please drop this toxic
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My boyfriend is really getting on my nerves. He purchased a VR set and now suddenly wants me to buy one as well…so we can play together, even though I've never wanted to buy this shit. Yeah i would just drop 100 on this if I had disposable income like he does. At first I was going to buy a VR set that costs 160 just to please him but he wanted me to buy a 300 dollar one which turned me off to the whole thing, now he's back to wanting me to buy the 160 one. Now I'm being called cheap and selfish for not wanting to spend money on something I've never had interest in.im pink and he's black.
If he wants you to get one and play with him so bad, why doesn't he just buy it for you? In your position, I would've been like "Looks fun, but I don't have that much money to spend right now :s" and just imply I want him to get it for me instead. Either he'll stop bringing it up, or he'll nut up and get it for you. Should be fine if he thinks $100 or more is such a low price.
Also, no offense but he sounds really fucking vile >have fun watching your japanese movies and drinking yourself to sleep
What kind of way is that to speak to your girlfriend? Either you two have been
fighting, and the VR set isn't the real issue here, or
he has no respect.
Even if you're in an LDR you can do shit and play games together without having to drop 100 bucks on shit you've never tried before or looked into. He sounds like he doesn't respect you imo love yourself anon
Also>i didn't buy this thinking you would buy it>have fun with your shitty interests you alcoholic how dare you not do what i want
try to not focus on the scale and use a measuring tape/clothes as an empirical measure.
you could also just not eat anything for a week if you want to hit the panic button.
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I can’t think myself out of this depression. I can’t be bothered to do the things to unNEET myself and I feel really, really stuck. Right now I’m sleeping during daylight (because I don’t want to live) and eat like one meal a day due to the timing, leeching off my single mum. I can’t seem to commit to the changes I do in therapy because there’s no one there who’s ‘with’ me - like I can’t do it for myself but I can do it for another person if the situation is just right. I don’t fly into panic attacks if I’m outside for too long but I’m like hard wired to resist going into social situations soo that’s why I’m a NEET. It’s not like I want to stagnate and spend all day online but it’s so much easier than being vulnerable out there. Even meeting up with a trusted friend leaves me so exhausted I end up messing up self care for the next 2 weeks. Jfc I’m such a womanchild wasting my prime years - I still don’t want pity, I need a way to trick myself into getting better because I’ve consciously given up and can’t seem to stick to it even if I want to (and I do). My plan was to meet up with my only two (male) friends more and more and "use" them when they’re willing to walk around job hunting with me but one of them is MIA in some unhealthy relationship bs and the other is moving so I don’t have a ‘safe’ person’s presence to stop an internal freak out. Earlier this year I tried to be defiant and fight my depression again and now I’m just resigned, not looking at job sites and I feel no happiness from anything. It’s really hard to change me when I’ve been online so long that my self-image has always been "ugly duckling weirdo, exactly who you’d think lurks imageboards" and that’s just the tip of the iceberg about my esteem issues. I’m stuck in my coffin
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Growing up with a shitty family and a shitty home taught me how to be secretive, also being cyber molested at the age of 12 taught me to be cautious on the internet. I'm still pretty secretive and had people whom I known for years and only recently knew very important things about me. kinda sucks but I'm grateful.
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My single mum who has lost her sanity long ago but thinks she's perfectly fine keeps assaulting our neighbours. Today she received a letter from a court where they're going to decide if she needs a caretaker. I wish things did not have to come to this but the situation out of my hands and I hope she will get the help she needs.
I wish my life was normal but let's see where this goes.
Anon this is nowhere near your fault, he clearly had other things going on in his mind; beyond what anyone on the internet could help with. You tried your best to be kind. Not liking someone's music and finding their behavior worrying is reasonable. Your friend who decided to send your opinions to him was an idiot for not seeing he was already unstable.
I'm sorry for your loss anon, I hope you find peace eventually.
He was sick anon, he was going to kill himself regardless if he got mean comments. If he didn't get attention and comments, he probably would have killed himself for lack of attention and feeling lonely.
That's how suicidal people work; irrational, impulsive, and toxic
It's not your fault and there's nothing you could have done.
What kind of asshole would screenshot a private conversation and use it to backstab you like that?
Dude, i've nitpicked and said "mean" things about loved ones in confidence to other family and friends, as i am sure they do about me because is normal to sometimes be critic about people you care about, i would be pissed off if my confidence was broken and i was taken out of context like that. You should really be mad at that "friend" of yours that sent him the captions.
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I don't talk to my mom because she's a toxic and self-centered narcissist. I've cut her out of my life and I'm emotionally better for it.
Yet my new bf teases every now and then about her and I really don't like it.
"You gonna talk to your ma?"
"Oh you better not let her see your room if you gotta clean it lol."
I explained how fucking horrible she was to me in case he forgot-again-but he needs to understand I'm keeping that bitch at a major distance. She's never coming over to my domicile and I will only ever speak to her in brief over urgent formal matters. She is not to be in on my personal life ever again, she's lost that privilege fifty times over for the shit she pulled with me. She's an emotional abuser and a social vampire. It's not funny.
He apologizes after he gets me going and tells me "don't stress" but it's like, then stop bringing her up because you know it bothers me then hm?
It's like he's one of those people who half doesn't believe that adult children have no good reason to cut off contact with their biological parents.
Or he could be projecting his fears, because he has a teenage son from a previous relationship and maybe he's scared that the son will cut him off for a reason too, although I can't imagine why because it does seem like he tries to be involved without being overbearing.
I think it's the latter because bf had an estranged relationship with his parents as well. His biological mom had nothing to do with him and his dad raised him but was very distant. It makes me feel bad for him but he seriously can't expect me to make amends to abusive people who I don't trust.
I experienced something similar but not to this degree.
In my case I noticed that when I'm stressed and have anxiety it intensifies my fear of horror plots.
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I hate my job and was planning to quit, but my spouse just lost their job (laid off) recently, so i'm the only one working. i want to quit so bad but i cant now and i feel like i'm trapped in a corner
(Been job hunting all week.)
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>on etsy looking for a headpiece for an outfit
>see one I like, nicely assembled but cheap materials
>go on aliexpress and find the exact same lots of filigree, wire, and other materials
>bought enough material to make 3 headbands plus other shit for less than $15
I’ve been feeling horribly anxious and really down recently, but whenever I try to talk about it with my Mum, she manages to completely bend the conversation so she can talk about her current problems for 15+ minutes. Like, when I say I’ve been feeling really sad, she will go on to talk about her own depression and how that affected her, and ‘oh, there was this thing at work making me feel upset, let me explain it to you in great detail—‘ that kinda thing. She’s a pro at doing this. It doesn’t help that she already talks about her problems all the time regardless, so it gets old listening to it on repeat after I’ve already comforted her many times and given advice and shit. I don’t want her to feel as if she can’t share these things with me - but that’s all I’d like in return, for her to comfort me and give me advice and just, listen to me vent my feelings for a bit. But instead I bottle up how I’m feeling, and nod along to her problem I’ve listened to for the 30th time.
I definitely have high anxiety these days and what my GP suspects is ADHD, but I'm on an 8 week waiting list until I can see a psychiatrist and get medication so in the meantime I'm just trying to cope on my own. I'm hoping treatment will clam down a lot of my neurotic symptoms.
What sucks is that I used to really love reading and watching creepy stuff but now it's become such a huge source of stress I have to carefully curate the media I'm consuming so I don't scare myself but sometimes I do anyway, it's shit.
my mum does this too, "story of my life!" "how do you think I feel!" "I put up with that every day" it's like DUDE LET ME SPEAK.
I genuinely just let her talk at me. gave up trying a while ago. god speed fellow emotionally neglected anon
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I work/live at a place that's frequently rented out for events (weddings etc), and basically every Saturday night from May - October is pic related. Im twenty fucking five, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE BOOMER. Seriously though normally I go to sleep at 9pm so I don't have to lay awake thinking about how lonely I am, but NOT TONIGHT.
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AAAAAAAAH THEY TURNED IT UP AGAIN FFFFGGGG
I dealt with similar family issues years ago, and believe me, it will only get worse. You need to prioritize your own well-being before trying to help anyone else. If you can't get a job or have your own money, you're going to stay dependent on your mom for support.
Tell your GP all of this and ask for help. I don't know your country, but there should be some kind of social program for low-income that can help. If you're in school, ask for a guidance counselor about the best way to move out. If your mom is that out of touch with reality, tell them that. Tell them you don't feel safe.
I've been there and I know it's rough. I wish you all the best anon.
My first 3 1/2 years at college weren’t fun. I feel like I never really got to fully enjoy my time on campus and it’s been bothering me lately as I am looking at universities to transfer to now that I’m almost done with my general education requirements.
I know it’s a stereotype but I never had this positive experience like so many of my peers and professors brag about, as I am in a legacy school district where everybody knows everybody else and 90% of our professors transferred to the uni down the street. I haven’t gotten all this unconditional support from faculty like so many others I’ve known, the students self-segregate in their little cliques so good luck making friends (even one of my professors mentioned this), and all in all I feel like I’ve just floated along without really living in the moment.
I wish I could go back in time and change my major to something else, as I’ve done some serious thinking and I realize that my major, though I’m good at it, isn’t necessarily my desired career path after looking into my options. I originally chose it because I let some people in my life kowtow me into thinking that anything but strict Humanities or Science was “stoopid”, and that there are “no jobs” for anything but the standard classic shit. And as much as I enjoy reading, research, and other intellectual pursuits, the thought of spending another 10+ years in university writing papers about abstract fluff that has no interest outside of academia and giving lectures to disinterested students is not appealing to me anymore.
I just want to feel alive again, like that feeling you get when you haven’t seen the sun in a long time and you wake up to blue skies. I haven’t felt like I’ve been truly living in the moment in a few years. I’m always anxious of the future and unable to enjoy my present. I’m thinking of jumping the gun and applying to a fine arts program at a few universities in my state and abroad, even though I’m anxious for the inevitable “Art is useless” lecture I’ll get from friends and family.
One would be utterly alone if they cut ties with every person they see flaws in.
But yeah she should break up with him bc she thinks he'd be a bad comedian due to his personality.
There’s a really SJW-y user on an RP site I go to and I was really surprised she wasn’t a gender special but she still called herself ‘queer’ when she’s a self described cis woman (nvm she says she’s a demigirl now)
The real meat and potatoes is that she keeps moaning about fatphobia and the lack of fat characters, she’s opened several separate threads months apart just to vent essays about being fat and being oppressed which are of course all vague high school stories. Like, girl, no one is obligated to make their OCs obese here and I know your constant whining is pity fishing. You’re not brave or daring for making an OC ugly.
Most of her characters are conventionally attractive anyway no matter what their weight and the same bottom heavy body type. Hmmm…
She’s said nobody wants to RP with her overweight characters but I think them being fat is the least of her problems. RP is about fun and escapism, that’s why most characters are healthy weight and attractive. While I wouldn’t shit on someone for being a size 20 irl it’s a weird choice to make when designing a character and all of hers just reek of cringe. I checked out her OC profiles when she made another thread about nobody going near her fatties and it was so uncomfortable to have to read their exact body shape, their ‘squishy thighs’, ‘soft gut’ and whether or not they shave or what they do with their pubes. She ends up sounding like the fetishists she complains about. Their backstories are also always something like ‘grew up in an abusive home, got molested, now she’s free and experimenting with her sexuality’ with a femdom bent. Who would want to engage with a whiny dangerhair who will use them as part of her coping mechanism? Nitpick but she also commissions the same bland artist over and over for her works who draws everyone with dick sucking lips and I lol’d one one of the pieces for a character had a caption that said "note that the lips are not canon".
The site tends to be quiet and moves slowly so she’s more visible than on a place like Tumblr. Her posts are fucking insufferable but blocking her doesn’t block her content so I still have to see ‘the struggle of plus size OCs’ etc when I’m there to RP. God, if you’re fat, either care or don’t care about it, and if you do care just lose the weight instead of dragging people into it.
I don't mind fat characters if they're interesting and written well
but everyone knows the SJW types who lack self awareness aren't going to write a compelling character.
For all they screech about fatties being pigeonholed in fiction, they always write their fat characters in stereotypical ways, or flat out write masturbatory self-inserts that no one wants to read about.
I crave some unconventional characters in my media, but I know that the people who are the most vocal about it are the worst advocates because they're coming from places of insecurity.
man, you sound like me (this post >>459669
I wouldn't even feel bad. Why are you dating someone who won't help you out at a hard time? Especially as you mentioned he has the means to help, seriously
The guy obviously doesn't care so I wouldn't waste time feeling guilty, earn money whatever way you want and fuck what he wants when he doesn't even offer help
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I have no idea what that "Hustlers" movie is about but it seems to glamorize working at strip clubs. Let me vent a bit.
>Men who own the club will take 25% of what you make.
>Most girls are addicted to drugs. The men who own the club WANT drug addicts to work there.
>Men try to take your picture when you're no looking.
>Men will try to touch you when they shouldn't.
>Men will try to rip you off or argue and haggle.
>Men will say disgusting things about you and other women.
>Men will try to lure you away to possibly murder you.
>Men will come in there looking to try to snatch you up to pimp you.
It's wholly unsafe and unglamorous. Fuck this culture we have that glorifies the exploitation of women.
I only saw the trailer but I got the impression the plot is literally about them being unsatisfied with how the owners take a cut of the money, and coming up with a plan to scam guys and make real money on their own.
It probably will glamourize strippers in the sense of 'look at these super hot chicks being badass and getting money by being hot' but we can only pray it won't glamourize the actual stripping industry, you are right that it's utter trash.
Thank you for clarifying for me. I was so mad lol.
Imagine if they took it further and started dropping pink pills. It's sad because like you point out it will still glorify stripping which is exploitation.
curious too. I use phenergan as a sedative, have you tried it?
congrats on the job anon, proud of you. is there any way you can tell your management that you're dealing with some issues at the moment or do you think they wouldn't be receptive? hope you feel better
I invited my mom to my wedding, but almost immediately after she realized the date (its on oct 31st) she freaked out. I tried to explain that my partner is pagan, that its literally just a date, that the reception and ceremony wouldnt involve anything blasphemous, and if anything its just going to be autumn themed. She expressed that she’d be deeply uncomfortable but would attend anyway.
I know my mom obv. When she’s uncomfortable about something, she ensures everyone around her is aware of it. She still calls my gf my “friend” since the last time she freaked out over our relationship half a decade ago. I was concerned about how that might effect my wedding day.
I sat on it for a few days and started bubbling up with a bunch of other thoughts/feelings, so I tried to bring them up to her via text (she steamrolls me over the phone) and she accused me of being my fiancee trying to break us apart
I essentially told her that if attending our wedding would make her uncomfortable, then I would rather her not attend for the sake of being there. I would understand as the reception isnt whats important to me, just the union itself. I didnt uninvite her, but I did let her know that I didnt want to feel like I was walking on eggshells as the wedding will be intimate and Im already nervous about the event. That if she could have a good time, even just an okay one, then thats all that mattered.
Then she freaked out again, called her beliefs “spiritual nonsense”, then ironically went on an aggressive rampage about about being a woman of God and the bible, etc. She refuses to message me anymore because she thinks I’m my partner texting her, then went on about how my relationship with my her is perfect and that my gf is trying to ruin.
Im thinking about calling her later to explain myself, but now I regret inviting her at all. Our family history was unfortunate and we never got a chance to bond. It hardly feels like she’s my mother because she just wasnt present in my life in any way that mattered and sometimes she was a part of the problem. I dont know how to talk to her because she just steamrolls right over me and I deal with it cause I learned better than to talk back.
Now I feel like an asshole for making her upset, but now I feel like this was probably the last straw. Im tired of holding out for a mom and Im tired of the way she speaks to me and treats us. Im sick of her trying to roleplay my mom instead of acknowledging our history and our relationship for what it is and actually address our issues so that we could remedy it and move on.
So I dont see the point in trying anymore when I got along just fine without her. I feel guilty for saying it, but it hardly feels like a loss anyway.
My parents just don't want the fight or confrontation and feel like it's too late to do anything about it. Her excuse is that she's exhausted from work or school - and on her days off she's enjoying her day off. Except I do the same shit and am an actual adult about things.
My parents aren't happy with her and if I wanted to be a cunt I could take advantage of the fact that I'm the 'good kid' but I'm too old for that shit. Just desperate to gtfo if my parents want to deal with her being miserable forever they can.
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>>460306>my partner is pagan
Can't blame your Mom for objecting. Will your wedding involve any of her LARPing?
It sounds like her religious beliefs still very much create a tension when it comes to you being gay/marrying a woman. My own dad has gone from being loudly anti-gay to just being passive aggressive, there's a point where you're just too old to keep accepting that behaviour.
Apart from the gay issue, people who suck the joy out of a wedding often do it because they are possessive and feel like they are losing a hold on you
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I recently broke up with my boyfriend of several years and as the days past I find myself being more and more angry. Being able to exist without the pressure of dating him lingering on me, and realizing how he held me back and treated me. I'm pissed, I'm exhausted, and I feel hateful. I have never met another person in my life was so unable to function on even a basic level. Everything was about him and he found a way to make literally every. little. thing. in our day a problem.
I wish I had someone to talk about it to but I don't want to burden my friends with hours (hours) of complaining about shit he did. I don't want revenge. I just want people to know the shit I had to go through, and to vent what I was so quiet about for so long. I spent a few hours opening up about it to one of his friends who's also on the breaking point recently, but that's it. It was so eye opening, especially since he had held us back from talking about him for so long, to hear inconsistencies in the stories he was telling us, and to learn about past patterns of his. He's a narcissist, a manipulator, and a selfish person through and through.
He's made our breakup about himself and only himself and how he's a victim and I'm thoroughly fucking enraged about it. It's disgusting. The amount of time I threw away in my life to watch over him, guide him through his own emotions and issues he caused, please him, and keep him happy, and he has the fucking nerve to run around saying how awful I am. I hate it.
Are you me anon? I'm going through a similar situation, I was with him throughout important years of my life in which he did not allow me to do things that would have gotten me far. Even when I tried discussing it with him and how he held me back he went on to make it about himself and how I was hiding things and I wasn't allowed to vent to him if I ever had a bad day or anything or else he would go on a tangent blaming me, accusing me of things, and just taunting me until I was on the brink of suicide.
don't give him time. don't give him thought. don't give him anything. We can take this time to focus on ourselves and rebuilding the lives they caused us to lose. Don't let pieces of shit affect you like this and they'll realize it when we are living our dreams and they're miserable and looking for some other girl to abuse.
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I feel like the shape of my nose gets in the way of every single hairstyle or look I try.
I can't belive how people can just be born with nice noses it's so unfair.
Why do I have to look like a witch that has cursed herself?
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Banish the shit out of that vampire anon
No evidence needed as she homie hopped for the 1000th time.
Pretty sure she's only hanging around us again because of new guys she hasn't got at
Also her mom tried to molest my boyfriend when he was underaged (he fixed her car). Her mother also attempted to feel up her daughters exes.
That family is demented lmfaooo
>>460187>i sold nudes
why why why do you all keep taking / spreading / selling nudes?
It's one think for some asshole to take pics of you not looking during sex.
but for you to take it and distribute it … I really do not understand
emotional vampires are the worst
always draining my fucking energy
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I don't know where the last 3 hours of my life went. Was just doing some aliexpress browsing and maybe stopped to watch a couple of youtube videos but…I feel like what I've done doesn't account for 3 hours? It feels like it's only been 50 minutes.
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There's this bpd-bipolar-sex worker person basically stalking me and i am so over it. Trying their best to insert them into my life, love bombing and figuring out where i live? I am grossed out.
I believe I've read your posts before about these nieces you took in. Sounds like they are blindly immature at the moment.
You're a good person for trying. Give it time.
>>460192>Why don’t you date someone who can financially help you? If a man doesn’t do that he isn’t worth your time
That's fucked up and you know it.
>NTA but given your boyfriend has money, yet won't help you financially when you're desperate, I kinda think he lowkey deserves it.
But this isn't. Not the part that he deserves, but the part about him not really loving you. I have both helped and been helped in the past from boyfriends and not caring when you can help certainly shows a lack of love and interest. Fuck the other anon and her gender role bullshit though.
>>460702>That's fucked up and you know it.
Lmao, not the anon you're responding to but this is called survival. When shit gets bad women need men who can financially pull.
Most men who cannot provide or who pretend they cannot provide are usually low-effort lazies who want their women to do all the work, including household management, when they know full well how society already disadvantages us in the job realm.
Maybe anon's boyfriend is a 'progressive' and doesn't mind her selling her nudes if it means he doesn't have to pick up extra shifts, who knows. Ra, ra, fight the gender roles!
Oh she definitely matches that description. Clearly trying to advocate but all her things are just repeated grovelling while inserting those issues into a roleplaying space. The community is not supposed to be her therapy group or the audience for her soapboxing. Anyone who describes no responses to their as "humiliating" sounds extremely
insecure for relying on RP to heal them and it's stupid to call it "exhausting". I WISH the most exhausting thing in my life was the equivalent of nobody swiping left on me. The one thing I sympathise with her on are the fetish users that pop up thinking that place is where people swap f-lists.
>>460719>a woman should not be worrying about whether her man can support her
Then she's a naive dumbass who's gonna be pulling long hours and coming home to a dump while her man demands his tendies and beer while he cusses at his games.
There's a huge difference between having no job and expecting a man to provide everything, versus having your own means and also expecting a man to provide. Smarten up.
You're talking around my point and absolutely projecting right now. Maybe you're too young and inexperienced to have been in a long term relationship dynamic where a man cannot be a provider in strapped times. Good luck is all I got to say.>>460728>not with partners supporting each other
The op literally felt she had to resort to sex work and degrade herself in order to get money because she felt her partner wasn't going to be financially supportive.
Does this sound like that type of situation to you?
Do you think op would get into that kind of situation with a man who she would believe would step up for her? The answer is no.>muh gender neutral language
Do you know where you are?
thank you jfc. couples should be financially stable on both ends. it's up to them to decide whether or not to share finances.
in the OPs case her and her bf need to compromise together, and if one of them is unhappy they should part ways. simple as that. anon's bf isn't obligated to help her financially and she's not obligated to stay with him. simple.
god your retarded. anon is trying to say you should have said that couples
should support eachother, not simply that men need to support their women, you didn't imply that and you seem to disagree with it anyway since you seem to think that a man needs to support you. what about lesbians?
Nice grammar sis, really driving it home there.>you should have said that couples should support each other
I'm not concerned as to what I should have said to have protected your feelings. OP resorted to sex work because, from reasons unknown, she felt she couldn't go to her boyfriend for financial support. Probably because she drank your kool aid about how 'finances must be separate' and 'men aren't obligated to help financially.' >what about lesbians?
I dunno anon, what about them? If one lesbian has more advantageous skills and a better career, does she owe her partner nothing in hard times because 'finances are separate and no one is obligated to anything' and would she be okay with her partner selling her nudes to straight men for the money? One person has the means yet doesn't act, or gives off the impression that she'd be stingy. That's a pretty fucked dynamic, imo.
oh forgive me, i didn't realize you were new to the internets~
>implying men have more advantageous skills
you got me, anon, i believed you for a bit! good show.
now please take your head out of your ass long enough to read >>460733
and sit the fuck down. or don't and enjoy your future abusive
husband who's warning signs you won't notice because you're too smitten by his financial support.
>>460741>implying men have more advantageous skills
That was only specific to your lesbian scenario because in the career world, women do have to jump through many hoops and constantly prove themselves through skill to gain meaningful employment.
Women do not possess the privileges of being male such as being paid more or have an automatically presumed competency about their skills.
In any case, I think I'll throw my dice in dating the man who can provide as opposed to dating the man who I fear I cannot go to for financial aid without resorting to sex work. So far it feels good to make my own money working a normal job while being spoiled by my guy, and knowing if I ever needed help he'd be there for me.
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>mfw I attracted ants in my bathroom because I left my sugar scrub jar slightly unscrewed
How are they even eating this stuff anyway? It's not like it's homemade, I bought it from a big box store and I'm sure it has other additives and perfumes. These ants must be starving.
Honestly I don't think you should feel like the clingy bf just because of that. He promised you and should have kept it. What you're feeling right now is understandable because you feel like he should be with you when you need him, and he's not. That's how you tell when someone genuinely loves you. When things get difficult and they need to make a decision, do they pick you or do they go fuck around with their friends and avoid the situation.
I'm not sure how serious the promise was but clearly it was very important to you, and if he's going to be dipping like that you don't need him in your life.
Sometimes people take partners for granted after a while. Bit rude that he agreed and then went back on his word without talking it over. If you keep telling yourself you're 'just clingy' you run of risk of always taking blame when he's not appreciating you or keeping to agreements..
I had a relationship where I basically cried regularly over him and didn't realise I'm not even a 'crying person' but the unfairness of how he treated partners (turns out it was a pattern of his with all his exes being 'crazy' had driven me to despair. Broke up and realised I'm not actually depressed or emotional, when I'm single I'm fine and content with life
Keep an eye on the pros and cons and whether the relationship brings you more joy or sadness/frustration
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Can anyone offer advice?
I've been really good friends with a guy from my uni. We met on the first week of lessons 2 years ago and instantly hit it off. He is really cool and we have a lot of fun together. We can talk about politics, memes and life and we share many common interests. Let me emphasize this, I love him as a friend but I have zero attraction towards him. He isn't ugly but I don't like him appearance wise. Plus when I met him I was in a relationship so I didn't try anything.
He got a girlfriend as of last year. I met her and she is cool in general lines. However you can call her a basic bitch though and that'd be fine if she really didn't try so hard to "fit in" with the kind of communication me and him have. Examples include opening a shitpost page (right after i did) while her posts literally make no sense and she just copies meme templates without understanding them and you can smell the tryhard from 100 miles, trying to change her own political views in order to seem "woke" to my friend while she is your stereotypical Christian Stacy, trying too hard in general and ending up looking cringy instead of owning what she is and not seeing it as a competition.
Ever since they got together, I have hung out with just her multiple times, since I don't find her generally too bad when she is on her own, however I really don't get to hang out with just my friend anymore cause he brings her everywhere. It's really hard when they are two completely different people to include them both in a subject and not feel like I'm leaving the other one out.
What's extra annoying is that she acts like a needy baby most of the time, for example if me and him go to some concert that she won't like she will tag along but will act all pouty and nag us to go back, or if me and him start a convo she doesn't understand she will again, act pouty and say we are excluding her.
Again, there is no secret crush here on the works, I am just really tired of being the third wheel and want my friend back.
I was in your shoes when I was younger and let me just say it’s not going to get better but if you find someone who you’re actually compatible with, you’ll stop caring. My version of this feeling stemmed from insecurity. I was always giving so much in the hopes it would get the guy to stay with me, to be faithful, to give me the same attention I gave him. But overcompensating only made me feel more miserable and worthless as time passed. It was like that with almost every guy I loved, and looking back it was cyclical, I’d give and give, he’d pull away, I’d ask myself how dare he, start to resent him, rinse repeat until he actually hated me. I honestly thought I was doomed to that until I met my husband. Once you find someone you can feel at home with, you don’t feel the need to over-love them, and gradually, you stop worrying that they don’t love you enough. Sure, I have days where my husbands working and and I’m lonely but instead of worrying he’ll invest his time with someone else, I remind myself of how insecure other guys made me feel, and how different my husband is. I hope you find someone who also encourages you to let go of insecurity and immaturity, because that did the trick for me.
You have a refusal to accept that your friendship has changed, and that friends obtaining partners does (validly) change the dynamics, particularly when said friends are the opposite sex.
Tbh just be grateful you still get to see your friend, because most women would not entertain their boyfriend's female friend hanging around so much and causing them to be the third wheel. You're lucky she's wanting to be a pickme cool gf because it sounds like she is bothered by the social dynamic when all three of you try to hang out deep down.
You're young students, it's literally destined that you will be cringey and tryhard. Ex. a shitposting page, really? Lol. Regardless of what you think of her, your friend likes her enough to date her. If you don't want to ruin things, you'd better realize the boundary politics that's happening here. Try not to step on her toes too much because it could cause your friend to distance himself if she goes back to him to bitch and he decides his romantic relationship is the one worth salvaging.
NTAYRT but thank you for your post. I related a lot to constantly giving so much to try and get men to stay, and every time they would settle down for someone else but never me.
My most recent girlfriend was the first person I felt safe and secure with. It felt weird to have someone love and adore just me as much as I did them after going through so many one-sided loves for so long. She did end up breaking up with me because she was afraid that I would constantly give and sacrifice and end up resenting her for not returning those feelings, so while I'm still sad that she's not in my life anymore, at least she had the decency to not drag me along.
It sucks, but at least now I know what it feels like to genuinely be cherished by someone and I'm not settling for second rate pieces of shit anymore. OP, I hope you'll find someone who will treat you right.
oh anon, i feel for you. my mother was (note the past tense, being an alcholic killed her) an alcoholic too and i tried everything to stop her. tried being nice, tried tough love, tried cutting contact, tried getting her doctor to tell her she was killing herself. nothing worked. i wish i had advice for you to help your dad but in my experience there's nothing you can do that will make an alcholic stop, they have to want to stop themselves.
instead i recommend you take care of yourself. being the child of an alcoholic parent is a tough thing to go through. i'm not sure where you live but try google "children of alcoholic parents" and chances are you'll find an organisation in your country dedicated to providing support to people in your position. you can talk to me here too and i will listen to you. good luck.
My dad is similar. He doesn't go out to drink, but he often buys giant packs of beers and drinks at least one or two cans a night. He says it takes the edge off at the end of the day. It's been like this for years and hasn't escalated, but I also constantly wish he would stop and I tell him this.
I hope one day our dads will quit.
thank you! it's not reached anything like what you would have gone through and I don't think he's an alcoholic, but it's great knowing there's people here who listen to my venting.>>460962
I hope so too
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>inb4 Braco told me this place is moded by scrots
After the thing with the gender critical thread and rad fem thread happened I got kind of disappointed in a way even tho I don't see myself as a radfem and the discussion about troons tires the fuck out of me, I would sometimes go to the rad fem thread and I could really understand them and most of the points they made were based in reality. It made me happy to see a place where men get shitted on constantly because on any other online space women are the ones being shitted on and if they try to stand up they're going to literally be called crazy. This place felt like karma after reading what men write about women on 4chan and thinking some of them come here and probably read all the stuff women have to say against them.
I remember that when I started browsing lolcow 3-4 years ago this place definitely had a male demographic because there was this thread where anons would post drawing of themselves with some pieces of information and a portion of the posters were male. I wonder if there's still men here browsing /ot/ and larping as female. It's quite unlikely because I can't see any man putting up with so much man-hating. This also made me wonder about the mods of lolcow, it would be really funny and fucking weird and surreal if one of the mods is actually a tranny. Can you imagine that? Women coming to lolcow, a place where they can finally vent their frustration regarding transgendered men and just men in general and one of the mods is actually a tranny themselves. I have no fucking idea who hosts this place or who mods it but I'm 100 percent sure that there is at least one man involved in the moding and he may even be the boyfriend of a farmhand.
This site is not a female safe space, that's what you guys don't seem to get, no one wanted it to be a safe space. Men were only banned because they were annoying
not hated. The shift of this idea that the site is a female utopia of free speech needs to go.
Picture this: 3ish years ago men were being such attention whores, and places like r9k were brigading here so much everyday, that it was easier to just outright ban male posters because any that showed up here proved that they never had good intentions nor wanted to integrate.
The smart ones who were already here quietly complied and shut the fuck up about their precious 'male opinion here's.
What do I care if men can't post here?
You seem to imply there's some kind of anti-men space created by a few recently, when actually this is a culture that was generated over years of dealing with maleposters on this site and fostered by their shitty attitudes when they were allowed to speak.
Bringing them back will not reap anything positive, mark my words.
lolcow is doing beautifully. if you fags really need a place to convert incels or robots or whatever, go make your trek to r9k crystal.cafe or start up some other bbs with the intent to deradicalize weebs. they don't need to come here. go to them or create a space for that shit. they ruined it before.
i just don't want much to do with them and we have a good thing going as lc currently is and i just want to be around a few girls that get me. go canoodle with creepy dudes anywhere else on the internet.
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My friends should be beaten with a stick that has been dipped in manure. My friends are drunks and potheads. My friends are using me as emotional sponge, constantly bitching about their problems while i stay quiet about mine. I must be a shit person to have such shitty friends. My friends don't even like manga or anime.
I just hope they don't fall victim
to addiction just like their two older brothers did. Or they don't resort to selling themselves. I'm glad at least i moved her around so she could get government help so I know the baby will have food for at least 3 months. I hope by then I don't get busy with my own life.
It was my first time seeing a corpse. Ever. And it was accidental. I cried for days.
(no i haven't been to a funeral yet)
I'm very similar to you in the way I'm very shy and alcohol adverse (childhood trauma lol), I'm about to graduate this year and the only friends I ever made during my time are the girls I lived in halls with. Weirdly enough, nothing forges friendships quite like bonding over being in a strange, kinda run-down place, surrounded by people who are absolute swines and being annoyed that fuccboi on the floor above playing guitar badly at all times of the day.
Just don't skedaddle from the kitchen when other people come in and ask them questions about them or yeah, just comment on the general state of things ala "wow this microwave sucks, my lasagna is still cold in the middle and we pay 400 quid for this haha". It may seem like everyone is fucking weird/normie and you have nothing
in common whatsoever, but persist a bit and that most likely won't stand true (the girl I initially thought was a blond bitchy bimbo turned out to actually be really shy and into fps and jewellery making for example!). If I managed, so will you! Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
It was kind of funny for this thread when I realized who he was since, you know, healing gaze on the vent thread, but putting it everywhere just got annoying. I don't know if it's a scrote or a weird female anon, I would believe either.
I appreciate the weird sense of humor but think it's overdone and that it's gotten to a point where it's non-applicable
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>feeling sad and shit irl because mental illness
>try to daydream a happier place and a not angry, bitter, and hopeless me doing good things
>daydream about an even angrier, more bitter-er, more hopeless-er me who fucks everything up more
I'm trying but god fuckin' dammit
Me too. I try to keep myself busy so I don't have these self destructive thoughts but the night time is the worst. Also when I wake up and realize I didn't die during my sleep.
I'm also fucking dumb and I'm constantly self sabotaging me. God I really wish I was one of those ppl who can use a bad situation as motivation. Like my sister ex fiance broke up with her a few months before their wedding and she turned it all around and got this amazing job. Meanwhile I just get to fetal position at any minor worry. I really suck at living, I have no emotional intelligence or resilience at all. Im probably textbook millenial snowflake. Idk how can I be so inapt at navigating life.
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my bff doesn't talk to me bc i "upset" her about something regarding her boyfriend and now i just saw she included his name in her IG username.i will probably lose my friend but i dont think i can do anything anymore i tried everything i could
in case she actually stops talking to me,i cant wait for those posts reeking of faux love and "my life is so great with my boo" vibe while i know she is still going to be unhappy.it's a sad thing to think about but i can't get sad about that anymore
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one of the greatest mysteries of the universe and something that's upetting me rn is that adam driver's acting sucks so hard in star wars, but was so good in girls? like, he was great in every season. girls was a terrible show watched by 3 people but he was very good in it, while star wars is a disney franchise loved by almost the entire world. who allowed this to happen, repeatedly now???
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My Fine Arts class is full of special snowflakes, whiny kids and mentally ill people.
I'm scared. I don't get along with them and nobody seems to want to talk to me even though I tried to make a good impression the first day. I thought this would be different and I would get a chance to meet artsy people, do collabs together, etc.
But instead, I got people who only talk to each other to ask for alcohol, cigarettes or to whine about EVERYTHING.
I don't get it. This feels like high school all over again.
Also, toilets are unisex and don't have doors (I mean, the entrance of the toilet not the stalls). I feel so fucking unsafe, exposed and uncomfortable here. Fuck.
Anon are you me??
I'm going through much of the same I try to keep busy and people tell me small goals and everything but it feels like I don't do enough in the day and I get so mad at myself
She probably just doesn't like you and is looking for excuses to shit on you. MILs are notorious for that. Mine is a staunch feminist, but still tried to pull that shit on me in bad faith attempt to establish I wasn't good enough for her baaaaabbbbbbyyyyy until she was put firmly in her place. There's a lot of weird psychology that goes on when mothers have to accept their sons are getting married, which is why MIL vs wife is the oldest trope in the book.
If they can't be forced to behave it is best to just avoid them entirely.
I know, I don't mind people smoking or drinking (I do drink too), but it seems these teens have adopted "cigarettes and alcohol" as a personality trait. I think they just want to fit into the stereotype of "hippie cool art student" and it makes me sad because turning yourself into a meme is not good.
But thank you for you advice, I guess I still have a long way to go.
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sending hugs, i totally get it. sorry about that, anon.
The three main personality types:
I drink wine
I drink beer
I drink coffee
I'm mostly coffee but with a hint of beer
I am so tired. I can't connect with anyone, going to university has become a struggle and depressing. I feel so lonely. I just want a sincere friendship with someone who's creative and interesting, I want someone to have my drive to create and do stuff. I want to laught and talk about art, about literature, movies. I want someone who's close. All my past friendships has been draining, I had to give so much. No one seems interested in me, only vampires.
I have a lovely boyfriend, he's my best friend and is everything I love in a person, but it is not enought, of course. No one should rely on only one person, and even it does not bother him, it bothers me.
How do I meet and be friends with anyone if everywhere I go I see unapproachable persons with their already closed groups or people who's plenty uninterested in me because I'm not cool enought? I used to go out, meet a lot of people, but everything was so ephemeral and wasn't more than just promises of meeting again never fulfilled. Everyone's in this city for a short time and treat others as just someone passing by. At first I liked all this stuff, but I now need something more and I feel like I missed all opportunities and people I knew before now live far away from here.
I feel I won't do anything ever in my life because I lack human connections.
I only drink soda and water though…
I just don't like the taste of alcohol or coffee/tea
There are so many ways to make friends anon, I believe in you! The easiest thing you can do is leave your door open. I left mine open and a girl came in and commented on my posters and we hit it off (didn't become best of friends, but it was nice when we found out we had a class together and would walk to class and grab breakfast on occasion!).
Don't be upset if you don't make friends right off the bat. It might take a while to find your people. Once classes start, you can try talking to people in class. I made good friends with a girl I sat next to in my language class because I just asked 'is this the XX class taught by professor XX?'! Well, we also had a lot of partner work so we were forced to talk but we got along really well so it worked out! I didn't make friends in every single one of my classes, but it's definitely possible! If you notice someone in multiple classes with you, it doesn't hurt to use that as a conversation starter (if not becoming friends with them, at least invite them to study! Study partners are also important!).
Join clubs, it's the easiest way to meet people who like what you like. If your school doesn't have any clubs, look into volunteer opportunities that interest you! I met a lot of my future roommates through club (we were all cosplayers so you can imagine the wreck the state of our suite was in whenever con season rolled around lol but it was an experience I used to only be able to dream of), and I met my best friend to this day because of that club. I frequented one of my professor's office hours a lot and befriended other people who would come by a lot, and also it's just great to really get to know your professors outside of class hours. He really helped me out down the line, and I still email him to this day just to talk!
Remember that there are sooo many other people just as nervous as you are! >>461153
is right, nothing forges friendships quite like bonding over being in a strange new place. When I studied abroad, I became super close and great friends with students who went with me from my school (just that general sense of 'oh hey we sort of already know each other' really forced us together) as well as the other international students as we all fumbled and tried to navigate our way as American students in a completely foreign land. I believe in you anon, best of luck! My uni years were some of best, and I really hope you'll have a great time.
Also, I really don't like alcohol either. You'll be able to find people who don't either, or at the very least, will respect you enough to not force you to join them in drinking (if they don't, then consider it a warning that they aren't worth your time). I was always invited to house parties with friends, but just had a fun time drinking all the mixers and playing games with everyone (though most of my friends aren't heavy drinkers so I'm lucky I wasn't in a really crazy environment).
I feel you, I also have this weird issue with my hands/feet. My feet are really wide, and my fingers are short and fat but my hands are actually quite huge, proper man hands. They're weird and lumpy. One time, I tried on my guy friend's watch and his wrist was actually smaller than mine!
I know I'm probably overthinking this but I'm so insecure about it…
you don't need to have smaller body parts than a man to be feminine. like you have xx chromosomes, you're as feminine as can be! if any guy cares about the size of your fingers/toes, they're a wristlet incel and literally not worth a single one of your thoughts! just use hand cream so they're soft and bam! cute, nice hands achieved!>>461434
hey the more the hand the better you are at hand holding right? also your boyfriend is still together with you despite your digit/foot size so he must find them alright. and if you break up and he cites your appendages as the reason, go back to the wristlet incel point!
t. bitch insecure about her nail beds who hates seeing other women being insecure over dumb things like that
Sometimes I can’t stand my Mom. If things aren’t the exact way she wants, she retreats into a depressive state to get her own way. I know, for a fact, if I cut my hair or dyed it, or got a tattoo, she would refuse to talk to me anymore, at least for a few weeks. She wants me to look acceptable to her standards. She says I keep secrets from her, and says it upsets her when I don’t show her what I buy or what I get up to. But she fucking judges everything I do to an overwhelming degree, she will make it known if she doesn’t like something, or if she thinks you’ve spent too much on something , if it’s ugly to her. I love her but she’s so manipulative and overbearing I can’t stand it.
Too late, I'll do it tomorrow morning. I checked at what hour the agency opens just to make sure I call the recruiter asap.
I worked as recruiter not long ago and when I contacted candidates to tell them I'd call them back or send them an email at a specific date I always did it at the correct date. If I didn't I would have had my ass kicked by my manager, I want to know wtf is this guy doing.
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A stationary store/instagram was caught selling/posting designs that didn't belong to them. Others have noticed other designs belonging to other artists. Who knows how many peoples works they've ripped off? I saw it posted on twitter and said instagram page posted this as an apology. I'm so taken aback at what a fucking stupid and shitty apology this is.
The artist says they also messaged her privately, but of course they only posted it on their story (didn't even put it into a highlight) so future customers wouldn't know they blatantly plagiarize their products.
>It was an honest mistake on our side due to some miscommunication
Bitch WHAT miscommunication?! What mistake?! It's not like you were working with this artist!! They're just blocking people and deleting comments of people calling them out now.
Experiencing something similar currently. School is filled of libfems who dream of doing ~sex work~ .
Someone euthanize me.
I assume you're in Japan studying? I'm surprised this person isn't triggered
by everything there or weeb things are the exception?
Yes it's weird to jerk off in the same room as someone who just said they didn't want to be sexual with you, bit abusive
what a loser, yeah, that's definitely abusive
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someone has pissed in a cup and left it in the communal bathroom at my college today. nearly tripped over it. every time I feel good about humankind something like this happens
it wasn’t in the same room - we live together in a small one bedroom apartment though so I could hear everything and he knew this.>>461623
I confronted him and told him it was weird and he was just like “well what do you expect me to do huh?? I have to take care of this!” like okay your cum is more important than my emotions in our relationship. It felt like he was punishing me and he knows one of my biggest insecurities in a relationship is him losing interest bc our sex drives don’t match up and cheating on me. he said he was going to come back to bed when he was done but it ignored the point that it was still weird to leave to jack off when I wouldn’t bang him. I’m just so disappointed he’s such a cumbrain.
I feel you anon, i learned so much more with online courses and books i pirated than from the shitty art school i went too. I hated everyone so much and almost no one, including the teachers even cared about art, it was just the snowflake olympics.
The thing is i suck for everything else, there were no other places around to study and at least i could afford i without going into debt but i still feel so bad for even attending. Those people disgusted me so much that i feel a lot of my initial drive and passion got muddied and mixed with bad memories of clowns and incompetent burned out junkie teachers.
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are you me? this is eerily similar to how my now-ex boyfriend was throughout our whole 3 year relationship. he recently dumped me because his dick is more important than the rest of a normal functioning relationship, we lived together as well. it never gets better anon, he won’t change his views about how important it is for him to cum over how you feel about his constant need for it. once a pornsick cumbrain, always a pornsick cumbrain, do yourself a favour and get out before you waste three or more years of your life just to argue over the same problem over and over again. it’s like talking to a brick wall after a while
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Why did my dad rather drink and be angry over anything and everything so my friend's dad had to be the one to call me smart and ask how school was. I just don't get why you wouldn't love your kids? It's humiliating and i am glad no one in my life really knows about my shit childhood but I always feel like people clock me when I don't really say anything when holidays or something come up. I know it's not my fault but boy did it fuck me up. Wahh why didn't daddy fucking love me waahhhwahh why the fuck did every aunt on his side tell me to be the one to patch things up with him when he never once did contact me in over 5 years, the man hated me and loved booze. I am so fucking sad and it's stupid, I know. I rarely think about it but I got into this weird state where it just hit me that my dad didn't fucking love me, how embarrassing.
lol I've had at least 2 exes do this to me many times and even though it felt bizarre every single time, I thought it was normal somehow. a lot of the time it was definitely a tactic to get me to cave into sex or oral but I thought I was a prude for kind of wanting to be like "are you for real just jerking off under the covers right now?"
how fucking hard is it to just go rub one off in the bathroom, or idk, maybe not think your dick is the #1 priority all day every day.
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Lord Braco has spoken, amen!
can you stop gas-lighting with your shitty western mindset for a second? just because I was born with "fish" doesn't mean I am hysterical>>461762
blahblahblah "tranny b8 troll". good, then fuck off and leave me alone. stop talking about me. stop demanding money sex etc. you people are obsessed>>461757
I am forced to endure harassment from transphobes and lesbians daily. stop sexually pushing yourselves on me. I don't want it and I don't want YOU>>461767
oh here is a terf with more of her reverse sexism skin color race shitty shit.
shut the fuck up transphobic bitch
radfem is a cancer(troon meltdown)
People want what they can't have. It sucks you are in that situation and really nothing to do but accept it. Sooner the better maybe.
I'm not too short, 5'3, but have always wished to be actually tall like 5'10. I feel like it would match my personality better and that people wouldn't feel as comfortable approaching me.. which would be a def plus for me.
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So my crazy aunt has been staying with my family and I for the past six days uninvited and refuses to fuck off. I want to ask her wtf she won’t leave but I know if I say something I’ll get the bitch edit by other fam.
She’s been in the house since this Sunday and I am doing my best to avoid her, so thankfully I have classes during the week and run errands but it’s still annoying as fuck to look at her every time I need to go downstairs to do our laundry or get food out of the fridge.
She doesn’t do shit while she’s here, her energy is so fucking unpleasant, it’s like a dark cloud of negativity follows her everywhere. She’s constantly in the way and disrupts the family habits, turns off the whole house fan at night we keep on to ward off bugs, turns off the safety lights we keep on so that we won’t fall down our stairs in the dark, and just acts like a general retarded faggot for no reason.
I went in the guest room this morning to look for a towel that’s gone missing and also to see if she’s packing up to go…she’s been wearing the same tee shirt and pants and washing them everyday on repeat. It’s gotten so bad I didn’t care that she saw me walking out, I just want to make her know she’s overstaying her welcome. She usually stays 2 days because we are pretty boring in general, and don’t do much.
And yes, I have made comments about what’s up with her in group texts, saying that if we are going to be playing Barbie Dream House to her we need to do xyz like buy extra food, clean out the water heater so our water pressure doesn’t go down, and I know it isn’t just me that wants her to leave from our conversations, but everyone else acts like she’s going to just up and leave on her own. And it’s not like she isn’t aware she’s being annoying, since all she does is complain about her job as usual, which she only works now at for 2-4 hours, but she’s toned down the raging paranoia from a few months ago.
If she isn’t gone by Sunday I will just either confront her or the others and ask how long she is planning on staying as she’s already been in our house for a week and is becoming a nuisance.
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Just found out I passed an exam that I've been struggling with for a loooong time.
This would be wonderful if they gave their usual period of a week between the written and oral exam, but for some reason they decided to put this one on Monday.
To make things worse I have another exam on Tuesday and I abdolutely need to pass one of these two things.
Goodbye sleep I guess
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Best of luck anon!!! I believe in you!
No single meal will make you gain 2 kilos and 'close to overweight' isn't the same as actually being overweight so her tough love approach seems too harsh for where you're at
You're not a 300 pounder that needs rescuing from herself so let her know you want to tackle your weight in your own way
Fuck, I'm so sorry anon! That sucks! This reminded me of when I had come back from study abroad and my old adviser desperately did not want to let me apply the credits towards my major. I had to spend like 30 minutes in his office with handouts and printouts of ALL my material from my foreign university arguing that they deserved to be applied lol. It was so annoying.
I hope you'll have fun in Ireland though! Studying abroad is really great and fun!
When I was 15/16 I worked part time at a law firm, just scanning documents and putting together binders for the legal assistants. It was mostly personal injury (car accidents, slip & falls, etc.) but a lawyer took on a wrongful conviction for a murder from decades ago. So I did my job, but I think working on that file fucked me up. I'm into true crime and had seen crime scene photos before so I thought it'd be fine but… these were so much more graphic. The way she was mangled and violated is burned into my memory. Even if I didn't have to scan the photos I would've still scanned all the written documents and I had to read/skim them to make sure none of the pages got skipped by accident. I can't forget those descriptions and transcripts either.
Sometime I think about "exposing" the lawyer, becauce he's just generally a huge prick (he never once said hello to me when I worked there and I heard him yell at assistants multiple times, among other things) but I know it wouldn't really do anyone any good. I wish I said I wasn't comfortable working on that file, but it was huge so I got a lot of hours out of it. Idk, it's been years and I feel like I should just get over it, I mean the photos were black and white for god's sake, but it's like they've been colourised in my mind.
I feel you anon. Similar situation, not engaged but been with the guy for nearly 5 years and his kid went to two weddings with us and it all went OK I thought. I'm a child of divorce and have a stepmum that to this day still has an issue with me seeing my dad, so I don't want to be that woman to this kid. His mum barely let's my bf see his kid. He's never late with payments and asks every week to see his son but just gets knocked back. I dropped him over to their house on Christmas morning and he phoned me 15 mins later crying saying they left to go to her mothers.
I just feel bad for the kid in situation and feel guilt I'm causing tension or he sees it that way. Kids need their parents and if they are actively trying to be in the kids life it should be welcomed.
Hope your situation improves.
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So, me and my lds bf are 'just friends' now and it is probably because he doesn't want to do the long distance thingy, but for some reason i feel guilty about exchanging nudes with random men online even though we're not together and he always refuse to do it anyways. help me feel less guilty because i still talk with him everyday and we get along just fine and im a stupid motherfucker and can't just say no to some random stranger with a nice cock.
ps: he constantly say that he got no feelings for me and that he views me just as a friend but he treats me specially still. I only did it twice -so far-.
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when the depression hits i get really bad invasive thoughts about stabbing my eyes out, shaving my head, or cutting off one of my limbs. i've told a few therapists that i'm concerned about it but the response is that it's "normal for someone in my situation." pls i don't want to be normal for someone with PTSD if it means wanting to deflate my eyeballs
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My boyfriends aunt is asking me to go to a Chinese doctor for my endo, I’d usually refuse but my boyfriend is convinced it will help.
Most doctors I’ve gone to say to cut my uterus out or get preggo.
I've heard that women are told that (have a baby and see if that helps!)
Yeah what a great solution doc…
I'm sorry that docs are so shitty when it comes to womens issues
It’s so sad and frustrating, I can understand if he just wasn’t suited to parent or something but.. denying a sane, stable, and willing adult the ability to have a real relationship with their child is cruel.
I hope we both eventually get to be the amazing stepparents we aspire to be and our partners get their babies back in their lives!
Annoyed is one thing but why are you scared by that? Are you sending those anons your nudes and address before you get to know them properly?
If it's on your mind to begin with then it wouldn't be that hard to figure them out, you aren't going to develop a close friendship to them first without realising it. You can just go back to the thread to mark them and flag their post to admins.
Don't be scared of sneaky men, let them be scared of being found out.
The quiet ones are still manipulative and still only think about themselves and their feelings. I'm venting, you're not gonna change my mind about them. I know some are worse than others and I know they aren't abusive
100% of the time (few abusers are abusive
all the time). But I still wanna stay as far the fuck away from them as possible.
I wasn't trying to change your mind about anything ?
I've met probably a couple hundred of them so when the subject comes up on here (it does pretty frequently) its an interesting thing to discuss, I have tonnes of horror stories from trying to deal with them
I think lolcow is full of people that have BPD, lots openly admit it and some show it with their extreme reactions to other peoples opinions
And of course loads of the cows show signs
How did you meet so many people with BPD? Did they tell you they had BPD?
Honestly the guidelines for BPD are so vague other than constantly shitting up your relationships. I've been trying to understand what constitutes BPD and a lot of the symptoms could apply to anyone. >>462339
Sometimes people can be extremely mad without BPD. I often get extremely angry when I hear annoying opinions and I don't think I have BPD. I think it's common for people on the internet to get mad about random things too.
Look up the list of traits, you need to have at least 5 I think
It's not really a science though, it's kinda bullshitty
Psychiatric diagnosis can take a while and even then there is trial and error. Just going online and looking for symptoms you can end up self diagnosing 20 different mental illneses at once lol.
That said, i've dealt with an actual diagnosed people with bpd in my life and got hurt so bad and made me regret being good willed and compassionated. -999/0 would not deal with anyone with bpd again. If i meet someone knew that has the same symptoms as her i keep my distance. The saddest part is knowing that the more support you give the more you are enabling them and of course, ruining your own life in the process by entering into a manipulator's spiderweb.
I agree people love to armchair diagnose people with all the Cluster B's, especially NPD and BPD but I have seen commonalities in the people I've known with BPD - all formally diagnosed.
They were all incredibly manipulative. Every word or action of theirs was specifically calculated to get a certain response out of me, usually to get me to do something they wanted. They were all very two-faced because of this and it was hard to know where you stand with them. They all lied excessively and frequently tried to draw on pity whenever called out for it. The biggest thing they all had in common, and a huge hallmark of the diagnosis, is what would happen when I'd finally put my foot down and say it's not okay to treat me like that. They locked themselves in their room and drink a whole bottle of vodka, cut themselves, threatened to kill themselves… then you find yourself comforting them because while you hate their annoying ass, that doesn't mean you want them to die. They use their supposed suicidal ideation to draw you back in and the cycle begins again. The threats are almost always empty, and even the quieter ones will not-so-subtley find ways to guilt trip you whenever they fuck up.
BPD is pretty vague but that's the number one thing that distinguishes it - a fear of abandonment so apparently overwhelming that it drives them to extreme measures to keep people from leaving.
You only need 5 of these traits:
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, reflecting intolerance to be alone
Unstable and intense relationships marked by abrupt and extreme shifts between idealization and devaluation
Identity disturbance, seen in an unstable self-image or sense of self
Impulsivity that is potentially self-damaging in at least two of the following areas—spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating
Recurrent suicidal gestures or threats, or self-mutilation
Marked mood reactivity
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Frequent displays of inappropriate or intense anger
Stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
Basically, because symptoms are so varied, no 2 people with BPD will display the disorder in the same way.
"actually diagnosed", just saying, an "actual diagnosis" does not mean anything. people who have been put through the psychiatric or psychological mill know this. a 20 minute "session" and they're quick to diagnose without any peeling back of the issues that you're faulty or even ever seeing you again to figure out whether or not this behavior is simply coping or the result of even ptsd from a recently removed negative stimulus. >>462339
wrong in my case. never been diagnosed or suggested by psychs that i have bpd. i just see the way BPD is used against people in psychology and psychiatry, and specifically against women, especially ones that are coping poorly to harmful stimulus, and a MULTITUDE of reasons could cause that behavior, and there is no effort made to identify triggers
or remove people from environments that cause them to react negatively or go crazy, or prevent them from hurting themselves by entering abusive
relationships they think are normal. psychiatry and psychology is very much all about treating symptoms, pretending people are forever broken, and hoping you become pliable enough to not be a burden to everyone around you (often times when you're suffering from abuse or molestation or what have you).
i have GAD and i was told the other week by a psychiatrist "benzodiazepines are placebos, you never experienced anxiety reduction when you took it". a lot of the people in this profession are liars and bullshitters that use their authority against people they think are delusional or too retarded to notice, and i have a million different stories about my negative experiences with psychiatric or psychological professionals that make it very clear, at least in the states, they are only interested in treating symptoms. 80% of people are morons, doctors and 'professionals' are no different. it's hardly a burgeoning science because it's so tainted by authoritative assholes that are just manipulating the vulnerable.>>462406
- people tend to feel empty because life is genuinely meaningless, and when you're abused (as most with bpd are), that's doubly obvious. lots of people who are chugging along in life unperturbed by BPD feel empty because life just is empty
- young people frequently have no fucking idea who they are, and that's to be expected. especially those that are coping in response to negative stimulus and have never had an opportunity to develop without being under constant stress or emotional, financial, instability
- people tend to be reactive while being abused because their needs are being ignored or the problem is being completely ignored
- anger obviously a problem while around abuse
- abuse causes dissociation
- most young people are impulsive, especially those that are abused because they have never learned self worth as their boundaries have repeatedly been broken down by their abusers. they have never been taught self worth and have repeatedly had their trust violated and are often punished for having any self esteem or confidence
so here, just with these things, already an impulsive young person that is coping poorly through who knows what "has BPD". and to take it a step further, i would say even kids who are just going through teenage stressors can display a lot of these symptoms without abuse.
no doubt there are definitely manipulative psychos out there that are black and white but i think this shit is way overdiagnosed and is the perfect way to further victimize victims
who cope "the wrong way" (i.e., we don't want to deal with the root cause of what is causing you to act this way because it requires putting your family or boyfriend in prison, you just need to learn to suck it up better because your behavior while being abused is inconveniencing the people around you or your productivity).>>462332
that's untrue. lmfao, these people are misdiagnosing and over diagnosing all of the time.
I hate that shit too anon.
The one that gets me is >no one can love you unless you love yourself!
As if self love is always perfect and there's no such thing as self loathing and insecure people in loving relationships as we speak.
I hate these platitudes so much, they're so passive aggressive and backhanded too.
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lmao i came here to vent about my BPD and people are sperging about BPD, but honestly i think they are right you know, i am absolutely insufferable.
I don't even know what to do anymore except offing myself, I made everyone i ever loved hate me, im not even manipulative just a huge unstable cunt, but still it damaged things beyond saving.
The only people who want anything to do with me are abusers, my closest friend,maybe only friend, is a straight up psycopath(haha cluster Bs sticking together), i go to therapy and all but it doesn't seem to make much difference because i can't leave the triggering environment (my shitty ass small town).
I mean is there any hope for the worst kind of person around or should i just give up?
Just self-sabotage, I started getting somewhat delusional when things were going too well and blew minor things out of proportion, all of my former social circle except mister ASPD were mostly well adjusted college students with some bumps on their lives (divorced parents, etc) but nothing too major that made them exceptionally vulnerable or fucked up mentally.
I think thats also why they had a hard time forgiving my freakouts since they are pretty neurotypical.
As long as you can live your version of a peaceful life while trying to do as little harm as possible to others, then being a bit self-destructive and sometimes manipulative isn't the worst that someone could be.
It's not like you have a lesser right to live than anyone else. Just my 2c.
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I've spent the last hour or so sorting through my downloads folder and it's been such a chore. Reaction images, irl pictures, webms, movies, tv series, music files.
I just shoved it all in here for the past fourish years. I swore I did a cleanout maybe a year or so ago but I guess i didn't do a very thorough job.
I'm finally getting rid of the majority of it even if it's stuff I would've leaned to keep.
Is it weird that I feel a bit sentimental deleting most of it? It feels like a little internet time capsule. All the things I saved were in chronological order so sometimes I could guess where I was browsing and what I was doing/feeling at the time when I saved these things. Now I'm just deleting it. All the hours of viewing and collecting this shit and it might as well have never existed.
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I have a reaction folder that is like 4 years old and i thought about erasing it and detox from IBs but can't for the life of me do it. If i delete it i know i'll get autistic spasms and feel awful for a long time.
I get that a relationship shouldn't be and won't be the end all of all personal problems, but why is it a bad thing to lean on a potential partner if you are having self image issues, if you need someone to confide in on an intimate and personal level
not that a partner should be a therapist, but more that someone that helps you create a warm and healing environment around you–like any friend or family member would, but more consistent
Not to alarm you, anon, but if he's not working on it, it will get only worse. He's not perfect if he's not willing to grow up and talk about issues face to face and fix them.
And yes, this is a dumpable reason.
Not to alarm you, anon, but if he's not working on it, it will get only worse. He's not perfect if he's not willing to grow up and talk about issues face to face and fix them.
And yes, this is a dumpable reason.
I've known women diagnosed with BPD that had their diagnosis changed to complex trauma
I've known women diagnosed with BPD that had their diagnosis changed to bipolar
I've known women diagnosed with BPD that had their diagnosis changed to autism!
It's so over diagnosed in early twenties women, it really is the lazy diagnosis
I'm already attracted to women so I kick myself for putting up with years of shitty and miserable straight relationships
I ended up on antidepressants in all my relationships and the depression magically lifted every time I became single again. Fuck their mental abuse and mind games. I've had more joy come from sex toys than any guy
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I've been in a mostly long-distance relationship with this guy for over a year. It's probably my first ever healthy relationship, and I really adore him as a person, but for the last month, all I can think about is that maybe I'm not that romantically attracted to him anymore…
When I calm down and get distracted with my stuff it gets kinda better, and I am still think able to think about him in a romantic way somewhat (although I still find PDA and couple outfits kinda cringey), but I still end up thinking about that when I'm feeling down.
I just can't bring myself to hurt him, and ditching him out of the blue would be bad for me as well, since my depressed ass is dependent on him. I don't know what to do. I'm fucking miserable.
Advice on the internet is either "Break up immediately if you ever feel like your feelings have changed, otherwise it's totally unfair to your partner!!!!" or "Toughen up, marry them and be miserable together, everyone's going to be miserable eventually, anyway". I don't really have much of a support system, and I don't know anyone who could give me a good advice. I can't make an appointment with my therapist, because he seems to be on a vacation. Not that I've had much money to spend on therapy, duh.
I feel like a fraud and a scammer. I spent so much time crying and whining about wanting someone to luv me uwu, but once I got too comfortable I grew cold. Maybe I really can't love anyone, unless they love-bomb me and abuse me in true narc fashion.
Obviously you are not going to feel especially loved/loving when it's long distance. That involves a lot of imagination.
Every piece of advice I've ever read about long distance boils down to: make a plan of when you are going to close the gap/move in together/move closer, with dates
, and actually do the plan, otherwise the relationship can't last.
Have you made any plans? Do you want to?
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It upsets me that I never got attracted to someone in real life. Only 2d guys and celebrities.
I actually never met a guy that interests me in the slightest (other than meaningless crushes when I was a teenager).
Because of my age, I brought myself to date 2 men even so.
It didn't go well. I didn't find any of them cute and we didn't get along. The first one didn't seem to have in real interests in life and barely talked. The second one got often frustrated that I didn't share his opinions and would rather get someone who agrees with his every words. It quickly became unbearable.
I waste so much time wondering if something is wrong with me, if I'm too picky. I'm happier without them, just sad that I didn't find anyone yet…
A feminist club that includes males sounds about the same as a lesbian club that includes MTF
It's a good faith gesture on the assumption every male that joins is a "good one."
A feminist club that panders to men seems an oxymoron to start with.
Fittingly, apparently lolcow has one or two male admins (who shut down the radfem and gc threads) so now I have the same fear about posting as these woman will have about speaking in a "feminist" club that includes males.
protect those reaction images. I have never collected them, but whenever I try and find one that I'm thinking of online I can never
find it again, I guess my keywords suck.
My mother convinced me to stay over at my parents house for her birthday. I don't live with them but my 26 year old neet brother does. Turns out there's nowhere for me to sleep on because they turned one of the bedrooms into a storage room. I had to sleep downstairs on a tiny sofa where i can't even stretch my legs and am in constant danger of falling over if i roll more than half a degree. Also there are mice and a ton of mosquitoes here downstairs. It's her birthday so i decided to put up with it for her.
Today i woke up to my mom telling my brother that i'm the black sheep of the family because i overslept and therefore i wasn't going to be able to go with them to morning church.
I, independent, with a job and an engineering degree from the best university of my country, i'm the black sheep. Not my neet, jobless, careerless, useless brother. This because i wouldn't go to church while my brother goes with them every sunday.
Also yesterday my dad was watching tv full volume on the living room (where i was supposed to sleep) until 3am. And this morning at 5 my mom and brother (both whom went to sleep early) were already in the living room with the tv on and loud, talking shit about me, nevermind the fact that i was trying to sleep there.
Also yesterday at 3am my dad was watching a random ass romcom and saying really disgusting shit about the female protagonist because she was getting married in white despite not being a virgin (she wasn't even wearing a veil). I'm neither married nor a virgin but he doesn't know the latter. My dad says a ton of disgusting shit about women on a regular basis, he's the type to blame rape victims for going out at night, i dread watching the news with him.
And then my parents dare to complain that i visit my boyfriend's parents more than my own…
I feel like Caroline Calloway (thread on snow, but all the crap is public on her Instagram) has all the traits of BPD/NPD
It's very useful seeing her posts from a clinical perspective, as many girls with none of these traits get incorrectly called borderline or narcs by sexist men. Seeing what it looks like laid out on a page in real time is very useful
>>462630>makes their daughter sleep in a dirty room on an uncomfortable couch bc she's not a male>puts their useless NEET son up on a pedestal >disregards a college degree in favor of whether their children attend the weekly religious ceremony>can't even watch a tv show without weird hangups about the women in them and what they've done with their virginity
Yep, all signings of bigot parents.
Sorry anon, but they'll never change. My mom is exactly like this and I wonder if she'd had treated me better if I were born a male. Nothing I did as a woman was ever good enough, I was tossed scraps and expected to be grateful, and I chose to be deflowered before marriage so buh bye my only saving grace as a female.
Shitty "friend" to make someone self conscious for eating…>>462318
I hate this insurance/overpriced medical care bullshit. I hope you are covered. Stay safe Anon.
My mom is constantly minimizing my ethnicity, and it makes me feel even more weird and alien to my culture than I already do.
She said I'm basically the same as foreigners who try to lay claim to our country just because they happened to be born there, but aren't part of the host race. I told her "I came from you" but she just said that it didn't matter and that there's just always been something "different" about me. All this because I have a reserved personality, don't talk or dress the same way as most locals, and don't really like "our" food or music.
She keeps saying that I should get a DNA test, and that there's probably all sorts of "other" floating around, despite the fact that both she and my dad are the same race (though my dad might be 1/8th something else) and from countries that are next door neighbors. The only thing that would back this up is how I looked as a baby, and the texture of my hair.
I know it's dumb from a logical standpoint, but it really makes me feel like maybe I was somehow born the wrong race. I even find myself personally identifying more with people who are multiracial, but that could easily just be some weird self-hate. It's confusing. I don't know where I fit in. At least people who are actually mixed with parents of two distinctly different races have a reason to feel this way, I have no excuse.
I'm deliberately not mentioning any races or countries b/c I don't want this to be twisted into racebait, I just wanted to vent
adding to previous anons
the biggest indicator of bpd is the splitting for me (combined with the other symptoms)
I can relate a bit, but in a different way. My family is mixed with a ton of ethnicities that all have historically hated each other, and no side of the family wants to meet the other because of it. I'm envious my non-Euro friends all have warm, welcoming families with a single culture where they celebrate holidays and traditions together.
I'm a lone wolf who only knows her mother and father, but both of them have personality disorders. My grandfather is Native American, and he raised me in his culture, until he passed when I was really young, so I only have what little he shared and his books he left behind. My mother thinks it's ridiculous I hold on to our spirituality and I should "just accept I'm white and that's all others will see me as." My father is happy I'm trying to learn his dad's language, but doesn't wear his regalia anymore and just calls himself "German" when people ask his ethnicity (he's not).
I got screamed at by hard lefties at my college campus for cultural appropriation when I wear my grandfather's bone jewelry that's been in the family for generations. I, was unfortunate in being blonde haired and grey eyed, so they don't associate my appearance with the culture I was raised. Add insult to injury when being called an Anglo when my "English" side of the family is from Wales and my distant grandparents who came from Ireland where indentured servants.
I've also been straightening my hair for years because I got the shit beat out of me as a kid for having curly hair. Black students thought I was trying to imitate them. My mother has been shaming me for it since. All of her brothers have the same hair.Probably already going to get banned for race baiting, already did once, but IDGAF. There's literally no safe place on the internet to talk about this without getting banned.
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>bf is older mexican
>believes in a lot of misinformation and superstition
>comes to my apartment today
>a cute male praying mantis is on my door chilling
>bf acts scared and uncomfortable coming in
>like he's afraid of the bug
>'Watch out babe, there's a giant walking stick!'
>laugh because he's way overreacting to this
>assure him it's not a female so it's not gonna be aggressive
>we go out for lunch
>'i-is it still there?'
>assure him there's nothing to be scared of
>we go out to eat, then he drives me back to drop me off
>'Be careful of that bug. That thing kills cows. Don't it kill cows?'
He actually believed that little mantid could kill a fucking cow. Lmao! I had to google it and show it as a superstition just so he'd believe me about it.
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Kinda less serious yet similar, video of Marvin Heemeyer's killdozer rampage was on tv yesterday at work and this dude said to me that he still thinks it's the funniest thing ever and the dude is a legend. Men are psychotic by default.
I feel guilty for not missing my deceased dog.
So about a year and a half ago, my cat died. He was adopted when he was still tiny, so I guess our bond was pretty strong. Cue his death, I still cry sometimes when I think about it long enough. It was an accident, some guy ran over him. It's been so long, but I feel like I just can't get over it.
Thing is, my dog, who had been around for longer than my cat, died a week ago, but for some reason I just don't feel anything. Like I don't care about it. With my cat it hit me almost immediately. But with my dog? I barely miss him, and I don't know why.
Eh. Sometimes, you have different bonds with pets.
When my dog died, I was devastated. I would cry a lot. This was almost 3 years ago. My cat died last June and while I was sad, I wasn’t nearly as upset. For one thing, when got her five years before and she was pretty old then. She had a lot of health problems since.
Whereas my dog was young and healthy. But all the sudden, she got parvo and died a week later.
Sometimes the circumstances of things affects grief. Doesn’t make you a bad person at all.
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Today my boyfriend and I were supposed to go on a shopping date because I had a really bad week and when we got there he was like I'm just gonna wait in the car while you go in, text me when you're almost done. Like, what the fuck? He didn't understand why I was upset at all and why I just told him to take me the fuck home.
Why do scrotes lack any emotional intelligence, anons?
I don't get what's the point of being a "witch". Is it for the aesthetic? Your dad has rosaries and icons and shit, you have your wands or whatever. How is one supposed to be more legitimate than the other?
People are always laughing about how dumb Christians are. But when it comes to witches, they're poor innocent smoll beans. Ok.
More christian than catholic. I don't consider myself a "witch", I do have some pagan spiritual beliefs though and it's just something personal to me and it's helped alot with my mindfulness meditation.>>462722
He's against all that.
He's less mad about the weed too, he says I can just smoke outside kek
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I definitely have a sicth sense to navigate my huge random image folder. I feel autistic as fuck about it too. And i always find some random image i saved once and forgot about it. Is so hard to let go. I already lost a hard drive once and even when i lost a lot of work and stuff i ended up sulking about my dumb reactions.
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I have a huge batch of pic related from a random inspirational quote generator. I must've saved them bc they made me laugh at the time. I feel bad for deleting some of them.
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I started like that, saving wholesome neat things but it really started getting eclectic over time.
The person I was training under was stressing me out. We were out on patrol, so to speak, away from the facility. I was trying to do the job, but the nitpicking was incessant. And they psyched me out saying that any little mistake could get me fired in the first 90 day period. They thought I wasn't fast enough/cut out for it. I asked to be taken back to the office to talk it over with the manager. This meant I didn't finish the last day of training and couldn't be allowed to work on my own Monday like I was scheduled.
Thank you for your sympathy and concern.
Do you like this job or was it just out of necessity because of the full time and benefits?
I'm not sure how I'd feel after coworkers telling me they think I'm not cut out for it, especially knowing these would be the people I'd be dealing with on the job with me.
I'm going to try my best and choose my words carefully. Thank you for your support!>>462798
I think I could learn to like the job. It's one where it's difficult at the start but can be easy once the routine is right. But I didn't want to do this job; I only applied to make my parents happy. I wasn't expecting to make it past the interview.
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my new flatmate is kinda unhinged. she lived here previously and I moved in so I kinda follow her rules out of courtesy but she's so weird about some things. the most annoying one is she insists on only the heaters in our bedrooms being on, the ones in kitchen, hallway and the bathroom are off. then she also keeps both the bathroom and kitchen windows open at all times, which, while fair enough, good for the ventilation, obviously makes everything outside bedroom same temperature as outside. it is 7°C outside rn, felt like freezing to the toilet bowl just now. wonder tf she's gonna do in the winter when it gets round 0/dips into negatives.
her great argument is that she's poor and gas gets expensive if more heaters are on but like, bitch, so am I, we have roughly the same amount of income, yet I'd rather eat more tinned beans than feel like living under a bridge. she is already making me pay more of gas money on the grounds that my room is bigger, which I gave in to because I don't like being argumentative and giving a bad 1st impression and frankly idc about those extra 10£, but this is kinda ridiculous. she also hasn't told me where the boiler actually is as she "doesn't want me to mess up her schedule". I hate being a doormat lads. And I miss my old flatmate other as a flatmate and as a friend.
also she removed my shit from the oven without telling me when I had a timer going and my food was doing just fine.
Same, anon. I’ve tried cowashing so many times and my hair feels AWFUL afterwards, even when I’ve “reset” with a clarifying shampoo. I can use a really light gel, but nowhere near a handful. It suuuuucks.
I’m going to cut my hair into a long bob soon, and see if I can do blunt ends. Hopefully it helps. My hair just gets so weighed down when it’s long.
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Korean single needle tattoos are so fucking stupid, they're filling up my ig discover tab. These idiots paying 2000e for something that will fade away in 6 months time or blur to oblivion. Also the whole moralfagginess oover the fact that they'll tattoo huge fine liney, messes on otherwise untattooed young girls, how the fuck do they sleep at night.
That or the tattoos are just cringy mess of english words (kinda like the whole kanji tattoos you don't understand the meaning of) ft. Shit art or copied shit. I am so pissed off. I get that it's not on my body, not my money but I am looking forward to someone in the tattoo cOmMuNiTy to throw shade.
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nta, I think this is the style she's talking about.
i'm glad i'm not the only one who saw a butt>>462959
i feel like a lot of it is people missing that tattoos are still art, and have to compliment the medium. your skin curves, ink fades, something that looks good on paper might not look good on your body. tattoos should have some cohesion and flow to them, drives me batty to see people with bodies that look like they're covered in refrigerator magnets lol.
i don't have tattoos myself yet since i'd want something of quality and that shit's expensive and at this point i wonder if it's actually worth it or if i should just buy some nice framed prints.
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I wish I knew what I wanted to do for uni earlier, but because I've waited I have decided on what I want to do, but it's become harder for me to get a position in the course I want, so I'm basically forced to do a whole year of studying to make up 12 points I'm missing from meeting the rank requirement. I was studying to fix this until the company i was with closed down. I don't want to be starting uni when I'm 20, I'd feel old in a class with 18 year olds. I don't have a job, I've been applying for everything I'm even remotely qualified for. I just can't see myself making any progress. I want to make an advancement, I'm so tired of this.
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My anxiety is giving me cramps, nausea, making me sweat, and making my heart thump. I feel so miserable just being conscious right now. I wish there was something I could do to make it immediately go away.
Anon never rely on something that can just “take it away”
Seek therapy or read on coping mechanisms.
You’ll get better if you seek help
OP here. i have accepted it for the most part. sometimes i just get annoyed. it's due to my best friend being a tall dude (6'3, he's the only person i let the short jokes slide w/. hes a mountain compared to me) and people have compared us to all kinds of weird shit and there was a issue when i graduated (he was a year ahead of me in school) of people asking me where my "guard" dog went.
i am 5'0 and a lot of people really like dumb me down cuz i am so small. everyone says i have a strong loud personality but then i get dumbed down to uwu haha smol and its like the OG post for how to talk to short people meme but i pull out a gun when they get to my level.
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>rare pair of shoes I've wanted forever have turned up
>exactly in my size
>only slightly used
>$160 (reasonable for these shoes)
>tfw struggling to be responsible vs slamming that shit on my pile of credit while I still have the chance
>and after all I haven't bought myself something nice in a real long time..
>tfw check facebook message requests on a whim>guy I asked out 5 months ago found and messaged me in June
I don't even know if I should reply now. I'm kind of pursuing someone else who I have more in common with, too.
Feels bad. He plans on moving back to his home country after graduating anyway so I guess it's whatever.>>462974
dw anon, in my experience everyone just assumes you're in the same age bracket. I started at 21 last year and people still think I'm 18-19 kek. I'm not even an uwu tiny neotenous loli uwu or anything, just average.
You're still super young! It's a tired sentiment but it's true.
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Use thin plastic perm rods (or any curlers, like foam ones, but on fine hair a thinner one is better) on the bits you want to shape, no product or heat, just roll them up in the curlers before bed, and when you wake up the hair will be curled. It will drop out into a looser curl within an hour so don't panic if it's too tight of a curl. Then at least you have control over what your hair looks like in the morning.
Anon you replied to. Cowashing is so retarded. It doesnt help to rinse out conditioner at all. I also have to wash my hair daily with shampoo or else my hair gets super weighed down and greasy.
I also plan on cutting it shorter for my next haircut. Having longer hair is such a pain.
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Fucking hell I wish I was naturally pretty, why couldn’t I have won the genetic lottery. I wish I didn’t care, I don’t know how to not care about it I give too much of a fuck. Nothing helps cause I look bad no matter what.
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>tfw I realize how empty my life is without lolcow and how I struggle to fill the void with sweet nothings when it's down
The past month or so I’ve been so just “done” with my husband. Our one year anniversary is soon, so we haven’t been married long and now I’m stressing out because if I’m this pissed off by him now can I imagine being with him for 5, 10, 25 years? My depression is coming back full force and I just walk around feeling like a zombie.
Everything he does annoys me. He’s gained a lot of weight and so every time he overeats I just feel disgusted by him. I love cooking and baking but don’t even like to anymore because I just think about how he will get fatter because he can’t eat just one cookie or one serving of dinner, he will literally eat the dinner serving I prepared for him PLUS the plastic container I put in the fridge that was supposed to be his lunch for the next day. I’m quite slim and try to take care of myself and I’ve struggled with eating disorders and seeing his fat body stuffing his face with food makes me ill.
He’s also so careless and forgetful and clumsy, I rarely ask him to do anything for me but when I do he can’t even get simple things right. I ask him to buy hand soap and he picks FOAMING hand soap when our soap dispenser is not for foaming soap so it’s useless. He often forgets his money, forgets his car keys and makes me wait for him to go back up to the apartment to get them, he almost made us miss our flight once because he misread the time. I tell him to wash his dish after dinner and he says later, but he goes to bed without washing it, then he says he’ll do it in the morning, and I wake up after he’s gone to work and it’s STILL THERE. He never empties the garbages, he will just keep shoving things into them until I empty them. He’s too stupid to check the garbage before he takes it out on garbage day. There was one bag I tied up which he put out, but the kitchen garbage was also really full so he should have emptied that and took it out too.. he will mess up the kitchen right after I clean it, getting noodles, rice, sauce, crumbs, oil, etc everywhere. Leave chunks of food in the sink.
He never listens to me. I have to repeat myself 5 times until I’m practically yelling to get a response which is embarrassing in public. “Hey look at that restaurantx4” “…” “HEY LOOK AT THAT RESTAURANT” “what?” And he’ll act angry and won’t even look when I point out I had to repeat myself 5 times. Like wtf? The other week I was at a restaurant with him AT A TABLE JUST the two of us, and I tell him about how I found this restaurant and then 5 minutes later he asks “so how did you find this restaurant?” What the actual fuck. Every goddamn time I’m right beside him repeating something and he won’t even turn his head or acknowledge I said anything. Supposedly his hearing is fine according to his yearly medical check. I get kinda triggered by it honestly because my mom did the same thing when I was living with her, just ignoring me all the time and I have social anxiety so I’m sensitive to feeling left out or ignored.
I literally discussed how I feel about all of these things after we moved to this apartment back in feb/March and he acknowledged my feelings and we made a plan to work on things and he said he’d try harder and lose weight and help out more and listen to me and it was really emotional with me crying and everything and I thought “finally! I talked about my feelings and everything will be better now” but it’s not. It was good a while but went back to this. He hasn’t lose any weight. Now when I bring it up he tries for a day MAYBE two but does something to piss me off again, like eating food for two meals, literally swatting me away when I ask if he can bring the laundry inside since it’s heavy for me, leaving his socks and dirty dishes around, etc. This plus the depression honestly makes me just want to kill myself. I feel like I’m trapped in this shitty life forever.
Before we got married we actually lived together with his grandmother since she’s quite elderly and can’t live alone. So we had some similar problems but we always just kind of justified or reasoned that it was because of that. “Oh dirty dishes in the sink, it’s because grandma was cooking so I didn’t want to be in her way” “who crammed the garbage full without emptying it? Must have been grandma” he gained a little weight since the time we first started dating, but nothing too bad. He was never even “skinny” he was always about “normal” not skinny, not fat, not buff, but that’s what I like actually. He got a bit chubby, but now he’s clearly overweight. I felt some depression stress about the living situation since I wanted something just for the two of us and as I said I love baking/cooking and wanted my OWN kitchen so I just kind of thought things would be better once we had our own place. After we got married we got our own place shortly after and as I said it was good for a while and then it got bad and I talked with him and it got better again for several months. I even went off my anti depressants I was doing to well. But now it’s like this. The worst it’s been yet. I definitely feel trapped because I’m not in my home country, I don’t really have friends here still, except for at work, and I put off going to college to be with him so I feel stupid and trapped and alone and like if I did have to leave him I’d be left with nothing-literally. Not that I necessarily want to leave him, i just wish things could be like they were before. I just wish he’d put some effort in and show he cares more.
Yikes, didn't you live with him prior to getting married for a year or so? I feel like you would have caught on to a lot of those poor habits of his minus the weight gain. That's a shame.
As other anon said, it's either marriage counseling or divorce. It sucks you're in this situation.
He reminds me of my ex, except my ex was such a low test doof he never even offered to marry me. I ran like hell after cohabitating only a few years. And whatever you do, don't bring kids into it. Stress x100.
un-asked for update: scored a job interview for a clothing company I love, really hoping the interviewer's bias to me (since I'm there often) helps me land the position. I'm also planning on taking a test that will hopefully get me into uni asap. Really sad the main person supporting me is my boyfriend's mother and not my own, but I am thankful.>>463014>>462987
thank you anons, it truly does worry me, so you both have helped me consider this a little more, I am sure I can pass as a similar age as them. Thank you.
I truly feel my friends don’t care about me as half as I care for them. I know it sounds childish but I always find a moment to check up on them, everyday, even if it’s just a few minutes of talking.
Today I tried my best to not text them and what I found was nothing. Of course people carry on with their lives and they don’t think how I am, how I’m feeling.
Worst part is that I actually told them these past weeks have been pretty shitty for me. I don't like to talk about myself but for once I explained them some troubles I’m having with my partner, job and school.
They left me on read after saying they feel sorry for me, and that’s it. Yesterday I tried to engage on a conversation again and apart from two lines, they didn’t say anything else to me.
I think they take me for granted because they know I’ll be there for them no matter what but fuck, my life’s hard too, you know? I have shitty days and sometimes I want to die because I can’t see anything being useful, sometimes I need to vent and I need them to check up on me. They make me feel insignificant, irrelevant, they make me indirectly think it wouldn’t matter if I disappeared and I have to come here to let out all my feelings because the people I love the most don’t appreciate it.
Lately I don’t even want to talk that much to them and I’m not doing it but of course they wouldn’t even notice it. It just proves how little meaning my words and actions have for them.
People are selfish because that’s our nature but I think that’s my main problem, I always put other people’s happiness before me and then I feel guilty for even opening my mouth. Sometimes I need to remind myself that it’s only a few messages, it’s not that important but this feeling of loneliness never ever stops, always been like this, with my old friends, with my parents, with everyone.
I wish I didn’t exist so I wouldn’t care this much.
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i get notifications from my family's bank and my sister keeps overdrawing her account. last time she did it i got the notification after she sent me a pic of a bunch of junk she bought. literally wtf sis? she lives in a house we inherited, doesn't pay ANY bills, doesn't go to school, and makes like $35-40k a year, so what's the excuse??? i just hate seeing my parents clean up after her so much it's stressing all of us out
Another anon chiming in with the whole age difference thing, in my 3rd year (I was 21/22) I was forced to take some 1st year courses as I changed my degree and had to make up for it. Everyone was 17/18 but not one of my 5 different lab partners suspected I wasn't a fresher just like them, one was even kinda offended and thought I was avoiding going home to halls together with her by taking a detour when I was just going home to my flat off-campus lol (halls are fresher-only at my uni). I don't look particulary youthful, have some forehead wrinkles even kek.
I hope you get the job and get into uni and have a very weird, kinda anxious yet exciting time!>>463112
God, same. Kinda stopped extending effort to my closest friend last year and guess what, she essentially dropped off the surface of the earth despite living 15 min away. Think we were without any contact for like 3 months at a time. Most of my other friends moved away this year so, bc I'm lonely and desperate, I started extending that effort again and we are back to bestie territory but it just feels so fake. I'm sure if I stopped texting first whatever bs she'd just go back to being silent again and that thought is just constantly at the back of my head. Wish I was better at making friends. To be perfectly honest, I actually think I am not that bad, rather I don't meet enough people and as a result very rarely do I meet someone I do want to befriend.
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I am having the worst period pain of my life right now, I have these bad ones on and off again but I was ready to call an ambulance earlier because of the pain. I know it's gonna pass soon but I am so bewildered at troons who have the guts to claim they get periods. Do they have these pains that make them need hospitals or crave death? I have a pretty high pain tolerance yet this in the middle of work out of places? I wanna fucking die, I feel like something is trying to eat me alive. "I experience periods muh hormones" you fucking don't. You'll never fucking know what women have to go through because we aren't men and no one cares enough to fix this, if men had periods, they would've invented a bullet proof way of surviving it with no pain. I need a fucking coma to knock me out.
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I felt bad that I wasn't eating the tub of fresh spinach I had in the fridge, like I didn't want it to start to rot and go to waste. I blanched it all and ate it for dinner because it was really filling and healthy.
Welp, our mother earth has decided to reward my thoughtfulness over food waste with leafy green diarrhea for the evening.
It's guilt which makes her say things like this.
She probably feels like it's her fault that she isn't bi/straight. That situation feels like something out of a movie, where you marry your best friend - but in her case she probably think she has wrecked it all.
Doesn't mean she loves you less …and she is brave for opening up about it to you. It means she trusts you. You are allowed to feel sad about it and you should bring up your feelings to her as well. I hope it works out for both of you.
I second this and hope we're right.
I've missed the friendship of an ex before, it's a complicated feeling and it was really scary trusting my partner to not be jealous when I told him, but also it was so reassuring when he understood my feelings and in turn opened up with some of his baggage.
I however would suggest that she needs to make new friends to help lessen her attachment to her ex though. There's nothing wrong with them being best friends forever but if she's just clinging on to him just because she doesn't have any other close friendships then that's only going to things harder for both of them. If she doesn't have many other friends you could try inviting her to spend time with yours?
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I just found out about the big child abuse case in Japan, and I'm reading a bunch of articles about it and saw this.
She was just a few days away from turning 6!! 6 years old!!! Who the fuck cares about the figure of a 6 year old!! She was only 12kg when she died. It hurts my heart to see photos of her because she looked so cute and happy. An absolutely beautiful girl lost. Some articles describe that she wrote journal entries asking for her parents forgiveness and it makes me want to cry. They doted on their new son and left this poor girl to starve.
Don't worry Anon! Therapy isn't school, there is no failure, there's only growth.
Feeling bad that you didn't do what you wanted is a first step, but don't be too hard on yourself!
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Everyone hug their best friend tonight because I miss my bestie hardcore. Thank you CE for saving my life seven years ago. I was so hardheaded that I never realized how much you loved and cared for me. I’m going to try my hardest to find your contact information. I haven’t forgotten about you, you’re my best friend. I love you. I hope I can be your maid of honor. I’m sorry for not saving your number.
I’m sorry guys, just wanted to let it out.
My best friend has always been jealous of me and now I feel stupid to have spent these many years caring about what she said to me.
We are friends for more than fifteen years now so obviously I had time to open my eyes, I just can’t understand how someone can be this manipulative because she feels inferior to me.
During these years, every little thing which was good for me, had to be scrutinised by her. This lead me to be a dumb 15 years old girl dumping my first ever boyfriends because she thought they weren’t too good for me.
Same with works, studies, and even hairstyles or clothes. The first time I told her I got my first job, she didn’t ask what I was going to do or if I liked it, but how much they were paying me, just to tell me she received more in her job, doing less hours.
She’s always nitpicking everything I say, I could say ten good things and then one less important and guess what she’ll be commenting about…
It came to a point where I always kept things from her because I didn’t want her to try and take control over them, I just don’t want to hear it.
Everyone who knows her asks me if I notice how jealous she is of me, of my life and I don’t know what to say because I don’t want to betray her even when I know she wouldn’t do the same for me. Of course I notice…
>>463609>Is recovery from NEET behavior even worth it
Being a wagecuck never solved any of my emotional problems, i would be a neet full time if i could afford it actually.
My general well being and mental state improves when i don't have to worry about work or other people's bs, the key is with your social interactions, your family, your self actualization and your hobbies, you don't need to be a wagie to have purpose or a place in life but its worth it if you find something that motivates you, you can be involved in stuff without being attached to a job or school.
Depends on how much being a NEET is affecting your happiness. I was a NEET for most of my 20's and during that time I was so severely depressed/suicidal I was put on lithium to stop my suicidal thoughts. As soon as I started breaking up my NEET routine - starting by attending a once-weekly life drawing class, then the occasional pilates - I started feeling a lot better. Now I have a part time job I enjoy that allows me to make my own schedule/hours (I know I'm lucky in this regard) and I'm happier than I have been in years. I feel productive, have a bit of money and my free time feels more meaningful, instead of every day being the same monotony that drove me to the brink of insanity.
I don't think a job is necessarily an end all be all, assuming you can afford it or have people willing to support you. No one enjoys wagecuck work, especially if it's retail or something more likely to make you feel worse. But hobbies that get you out of the house are important, even if you're an introvert. Even just volunteering somewhere once a week at a library or animal shelter could be good for you, or going to meetups for stuff you're interested in, like board games or art.
The biggest thing about managing depression is getting out of your comfort zone and making yourself do things. Any sort of things. I used to think it was bullshit and that people just didn't understand that being depressed meant it was impossible, but you really can. It doesn't have to be eat pray love shit or yoga at sunrise or vegan diets, it can be literally anything, and you can start with baby steps and take as long as you need to. It really does get easier with time.
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I think my bf has been getting annoyed at me lately because I can't sleep over at his place. He has no mattress and sleeps on the floor. It's torture to me. I get how in some cultures this is normal but usually these people have cushy comforters and pillows to sleep on, yet he doesn't.
I technically "fell asleep" from 10pm to midnight but it just felt like I had my eyes closed while being painfully aware I was on a floor the entire time. I had to be up at 530am to commute back to my place and be ready to be at work at 7am.
I decided to drive home at 2am. I just fucking can't. My back hurts so bad and the part of my body that's on the floor starts to hurt after an hour so I toss and turn all night.
Mattresses are expensive and he knows he needs to get one if he wants me to be comfortable, but god damn. He works in a trade too, I don't understand how he can sleep like that after a day of physical labor.
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I don’t feel safe.
Today I put all three of the towels in the washing machine and drier
Just to discover one of them in the dirty clothing when I woke up
I was asleep in the room the whole time someone was in the room whilst I was asleep
I want to fucking kill myself I can’t move right now and feel so scared
It's my fault, really.
When we first started dating he was getting hotel rooms for when we'd have days together but after awhile I asked him why because it seemed suspicious and I felt a bit bad that he was spending that kind of money a few times a week. Well he confessed to the no bed issue and yet I went along with it. He was embarrassed but I entertained it. He just moved into the new apartment he has, must not have prioritized a mattress. We went to look for some but he wants a nice mattress which is more than a few hundred plus a day where he can get someone with a truck to go get it.
I think he was just annoyed because I woke him up at 2am and he was cranky. I just didn't care for his comment as if I'm not falling asleep because I'm not trying, when in reality it's because I'm on a floor.
Anyway the past two times I've went back home late at night. The other time he drove me because he usually picks me up. I think he's starting to get that it's not tolerable for me. I won't be attempting to sleep there again until he gets that mattress.
He's old enough and makes enough to the point that he thought it was a feasible solution. Ironically he used to be a manager at a mattress manufacturer so idk if he's got a vendetta against mattresses or some shit. Men are just retarded, that's my conclusion. But it's a fairly new relationship and it's not like I'm living with him there.
I just needed to vent.
My favorite quote is "if I'm too much, maybe you're not enough?"
I don't think you're being selfish anon, but at the same time I don't think you should always be giving so much of yourself to other people. You deserve to have friends who are willing to give back to you what you give to them. It really sucks to let go of people when you desperately want people to stay in your life, but you deserve happiness and there are people out there who will help you become the best version of yourself and not suck you dry.
This is something I'm struggling with too. Ultimately, I can't go into a relationship or friendship expecting them to stay by my side just because I'm willing to always go the extra mile for them. It's nothing but a breeding ground for anger and resentment. I'm trying to figure out my needs and boundaries, and if you voice out your needs and it constantly falls on deaf ears, sorry to say, but you shouldn't keep those people around. I hope that you'll find people who truly care for you and will give back what you give to them anon.
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My boyfriend said something really mean about my appearance today, but he was extremely apologetic when he noticed how much it hurt me.
For some reason, it hurt the most when he said "I think you're really beautiful". He already says it every day, but it felt horrible when he said it this time.
Why do I always feel worse when people try to comfort me?
It's not even just this or him, either. People saying "Everything's going to be okay" when I'm upset is usually what sends me off the edge.
OT but is the hobby cosplay? I'm just wondering since my bf and I both cosplay and we've made tons of mutual friends through the hobby. I feel like I'd also need a break from cosplay if I ever broke up with my bf since it's just such a big part of our lives… it sounds silly because it kind of is but idk. Sorry for rambling. I hope you get over her, anon. Time heals all wounds. Don't force yourself to continue your hobbies. Maybe trying new things is what you need at the moment? You can always go back to your old hobby when you feel ready for it.
I guess I'll vent about something too.
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I wish my 'friends' would just tell me they don't feel like doing anything for my birthday instead of hiding behind social excuses and acting like they take up the entire day. Just tell me I'm not worth it, cowards.
And I'll just remember to not do shit for you next year.
It is cosplay actually lol. I think the majority of my friends in my life right now, I met through cosplay haha. I'm very lucky that I don't have too many mutual friends with my ex since we hung out with different circles, but recently my best friend has been making a lot of new friends who are mutual friends with her so… it's starting to get a little too close for comfort. I guess it's inevitable in this sort of community though.
It sounds weird to take a break since I only go to about 4 cons a year, and it's not like I spend all of my time between those cons making new stuff or whatever. I'm still trying to figure out what a break from it really means to me, aside from just not working on stuff and going to cons. I wasn't really happy at the last few conventions I went to either. Not sure if it was just getting tired from the inevitable, overglorification of drinking culture (I personally don't indulge for health reasons, but I've never really cared if my friends drink), the post-break up depression, or also just trying to avoid seeing her in person. Maybe all three.
I started rock climbing recently, and it sucks that none of my friends want to go with me (I can't blame them though, it can get pretty scary and just joining a gym is pretty expensive), but I'm trying to learn how to be comfortable with myself and comfortable exisiting by myself (and the screaming in my head lol). I get kind of sad seeing my friends post progress pics or con pics so it sort of makes me want to do a social media purge too. I've just got a lot in my head to sort out.
But thank you anon, for your words and in advance if you read my own ramble above lol. I'm hoping one day I can just look back and laugh at my current self.
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kinda dumb but I was in a music shop and I saw this vinyl, I kind of love the cheesy 90s/early 00s girly look so I showed it to my friend and said something like "this is perfection". This older guy looking at vinyls nearby comments "perfect to use as a frisbee yea…"
I don't get what his deal is, why shit on my enjoyment? Sorry I have a different brand of nostalgia that doesn't suit your tastes dude, but you didn't need to undermine me like that…
>>463900>a part-time job that pays okay would end my suicidal thoughts
It's not a problem with your personality, you just had your expectations too high if you thought it would fix severe depression. Working is a step up from being a NEET but it's not a cure all for mental health issues, and for lots of people it can exacerbate them.
Anyway you'd be better off asking a therapist this, since they would help with both the question and your suicidal thoughts.
Lmao, no hair dresser has two kids and is doing it all on her own.
Absolutely improve yourself but holy shit is she trying to make herself sound like hot shit.
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I agree on the tattoo thing so much. I've been learning all about tattoos because I think I'd like one eventually but I plan to go to a very good (and likely expensive) artist and work with her to choose something that'll look good. I've wanted a tattoo for over a decade but still haven't thought of something I'd like to have etched into my skin for life. I may never get one for that reason - it's for life (unless you pay for laser) but so many people get so many shit tattoos (and on their fucking faces too?) these days and it's crazy to me, like pic related
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Korean tattoo artists make super fine line and often full colored tattoos with no line at all sometimes. For example this is pretty now but in a couple year it'll be a shapeless mess with no way to save it.
I feel like we could make a tattoo general at this point because everyone seems to have an opinion here.
what do you even do in these situations? I'm massively introverted, and hanging out for a full day can make me physically sick, but everyone takes offense by it. even when I try to explain, people think I'm low-key lying because they can't imagine people getting so drained by a few hours.
when I do have energy, I'm very energetic and upbeat, so my introverted friends don't really appreciate it, and my extroverted friends don't understand how it isn't sustainable energy for me. it's very 0 to 60 so I understand why it seems just flakey, so I try to keep quiet about it and endure it.
I thought my gf was more introverted but it's turning out that she's just quiet/awkward extrovert and wants to hang out 24/7 and I would like to but that much contact would end me.