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i constantly think about the first boy i ever had a crush on from secondary school. i was 100% convinced i was gay until he started flirting with me and it hit me like a truck, he was such a pretty boy but he also worked out and had a really nice body and he changed everything for me lol. but he was a dumbass boy and i cut ties because he was two timing me but a year or so after i left school i found out he moved back home so i added him because i couldn’t stop thinking about him and we talked and he told me i changed his entire outlook on life and relationships and that he loved me and it fucked me up. i know he didn’t actually love me but it made my chest burst lol. a while after that my ex made me take him off facebook because they knew each other and he was jealous that my first crush was fine as hell lmfao. i cant seem to get over him even though it was so many years ago now (i was 15/16 when i liked him and i’m 21 now) and i have a wonderful bf who i love so much, i think it was the lack of closure maybe. i also think it’s because i wanted to lose my virginity to him but was too awkward, insecure and uneducated to make the moves even though he was very upfront about him finding me attractive. i know it sounds dumb but i always get the feeling that he thinks about me as well and lowkey hope that we run into each other again one day
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Next spring my boyfriend will propose to me to get me out of this country and allow me to live with him. I will have to give up my studies since I can't transfer credits, and my parents will kill me. We really are in love and in a serious relationship, so it's not like our marriage wouldn't be serious.
My parents already disapprove of our relationship. They'll think I'm too young to get married and too young to go to another country.
I feel bad for hurting them this way.
I just want to be happy. Getting away from this shithole will make me happy. And I'll be with the person I love. It feels like my parents feelings matter more than mine. I'm legally an adult, I don't know why I'm probably going to let them stop me.
I'm going to go to university when I move there, so I'll end up getting a degree regardless, and I have a lot of money saved in case things go wrong - and in the worst case, I have another plan.
I'm prepared, I'm just terrified of my parents being so upset. They've been abusive
and controlling my whole life and I know they "want what's best for me" but I have to make my own decisions..
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I posted nudes to soc when I was 16
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The most important thing in my life is male validation. I don't go out of my way to attract attention from men (I don't dress provocatively, I'm not loud, I don't shove my love of vidya down their throats…), but when I have to interact with them, I always hope they think I'm pretty even though I'll never be with them. I need them to indicate they like me so I can feel good for a while. Nothing else makes me feel as nice.
Also… I feel like I'm repulsive. I wish I could be one of those naturally beautiful girls – the ones that just slap on some BB cream and mascara and look gorgeous. I'll never be that beautiful and I cry about it more often than I should. I just can't handle that fact. I've realized that 99% of girls online are fake and shopped to hell and back, but when I go out and see real, beautiful women, I have to try and keep it together. My biggest fear is being unattractive. If I already feel like my looks aren't that great now, I can't imagine how I'll look in 20 years.
Anon, I feel you. I also have that issue for male attention and validation, and I hate it.
I think it stems from a different cause for me, as I am aware that I am good-looking (I haven’t always been, though).
I also never act on it but when I interact with a man I always wait for the moment he will show he wants me.
I think to be wanted gives me a small power trip, I just love the feeling.
I think there's something about your first relationship or desperate falling head over heels for someone that encodes itself really deeply in people's brains. A lot of people talk about their "first love" and for most people it happens during adolescence (teens-early 20s) and it's always seems to be the most affecting memory, probably a result of how plastic the brain is at that stage of its maturation whilst swimming in hormones. That's why it feels like you never get closure, or why every relationship after that is usually less affecting because after the first you've got some frame of reference over the path that memory carved.
I still feel a bit extra affected about my "THE Ex" even though that relationship was an immature, bipolar mess because we were both 21 at the time and after dumping me he continued harassing me for 5 years whingeing about how he never got over me. Growing up's weird.
Still blows my mind. maybe i have some sort of complex because the most i could ever post in my egirl days was cleavage or butt in a cosplay. Even as a severely naive teenager with no self esteem on the internet I could never get myself to post nudes or even lewds, really. Always thought my body was worth more than giving it up for free to some random men.
but to each their own I suppose, sorry you had some tough times.
That surprises me because you were part of the cosplay community which is toxic
AF. Full of really promiscuous sexposi types.
It was, I sent feet pics once to get some guy to leave me alone, so I understand the pressure, but idk. I hated myself yet thought someone should have to at least pay to see my body.
Also totally unrelated but due to the nature of this thread, I'll get this off my chest. My babysitter was female so I guess it's not a huge deal since she didn't physically hurt me but when I was 6 or 7 she made me touch her body and kiss her, and she taught me about puberty. Sometimes I wonder if I was always bisexual or if it's that experience that affected things. Sorry if it sounds extremely silly, but my ex and an ex friend are the only people in the world who know about it. I don't know what to make of the situation. Sometimes I think of it and wonder if I should have told an adult. I dont think it happened more than once or twice.
I hate how my BDD tripled since I got into cosplay. I used to enjoy it so much in the early 10's but now it's just a social media influenced beauty competition. >>442326
Ugh me too.
My confession about revenge (and its petty as fuck, no judging here lol) is that around the winter time when I was super depressed, I tried to reach out to this guy to be friends again (someone who kind of just ghosted me for whatever reason, and I wasn't super hurt by it, before that we had only kissed), he asked me how I had been, mentioned his new girlfriend and such, I said that he's lucky, etc etc. But at the same time he went and liked all my "selfie" pictures on my profile. But still gave me his number again and such. I cried out of relief for having someone to talk to. Next day I messaged him and he did a complete turn around (whether his gf found out or because he had a change of heart) and was super rude. Mentioning how happy he was with his girlfriend, etc etc. I was under the impression though weird he wanted to be friends. Eventually he unfollowed me.
After that, I made it a point to NOT unfollow him, and like all of his pictures and the obnoxious couple pictures he posts because every time I do, it triggers
him into looking at mine. And now recently he started liking my pictures again. THEN his girlfriend must have gotten insecure about it, because she followed me for whatever reason, but she didn't even last 24 hours before unfollowing me.
I never do this shit but I was in such a low place at the time (still am off and on) and he did that bullshit. And honestly now I like the power trip of being able to make them insecure in their relationship just by liking his pictures on instagram and nothing else.
Sage for long story and petty bullshit
I've sucked dick for both drugs and college. Life is fucked. What a pill.
Please get help for whatever makes you do drugs (childhood abuse etc).
I used to fuck my hookup for weed in college, and even then the weed was just shitty dried shake with mostly seeds.
The best weed I ever bought was through a friend of my ex's that I paid for with my money.
I think men holding drugs over your head in exchange for sex will never give you the best stuff. They already think they can rip you off because you're a woman who's not supposed to know shit about drugs, and even if you do it's not like you'll threaten to kick their ass or something.
That's a freaky fucking story anon, I'm super glad you stayed safe. Like >>443375
said this is a pretty common abduction tactic which is why a lot of schools nowadays are required not to let children leave with anyone but their parents or a registered contact person and some parents teach their children a "password" to verify trusted adults with. I know of at least one case in which a kid was picked up from school by a seemingly friendly woman claiming to be there to take them to their parents and the kid ended up being killed.
oh yeah, I forgot therapy costs an arm and a leg.
but maybe if you ever actually did have sex with him it would be really disappointing? you never know.
I remember feeling angry and jealous of people in school who were wealthy and popular, who graduated uni on time and seemed to have it all.
The best advice I can give to you is just to remove these people from your social media feeds. It might be kind of hard at first (because we naturally want to compare ourselves to others), but you’ll feel much better. I used to torture myself by following certain people who just seemed to have the perfect life. But, that only made me feel bitter about my own.
Sometimes life is unfair, but everyone has to learn to cope and make the best out of our own situations.
Revenge fantasies are fine, but don’t go shoot up a school irl anon kek. Things will get better.
>sry 3 glasses of wine
Most people don't put their problems on social media but that doesn't stop them from having them.
Usually this would be a bad thing to realize but honestly most people's lives are shit and they just hide it. E.G. if you're jealous of four women statistically one of them got molested as a kid and she most likely hasn't told anyone in her entire life never mind her facebook wall.
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I've finally found an image that has triggered me. I've been incredibly anxious the last couple of days after seeing this image. I've even been getting chills and chest pain just thinking about this picture. I almost feel like vomiting. It's a bunch of dog food in a motorcycle engine if you couldn't tell.
So I've been pretty active on the internet all of my life and have seen a bunch of fucked up shit naturally. I've been around to see tubgirl, goatse, lemon party etc. For better or worse I was never too badly affected by these images.
I'm also pretty ok with seeing gross stuff in real life a lot of the time. I'm never bothered by insects or worms, for example.
However, a few days ago my roommates noticed rat poop in our apartment. This was the first time I've had to deal with this and I didn't think it was a big deal. However I started up looking images of rats. Then I got sucked into the rabbit hole of pictures of rats/squirrels putting dog food into cars and motorcycles. For some reason, these pictures trigger me like no other.
I'm not really sure why I'm so triggered when rats alone don't bother me. I think it has to do with the fact that food doesn't belong in automobiles and it's mixing unnatural and natural things so heavily.
Sorry anon I'm incredibly stupid… what's triggering
about dog food in motors? What does it have to do with rats.
/sage cause dumb question
I don't know why it's triggering
me. I just know that I've been feeling really bothered.
Dog food ends up in motors because rats have a hoarding instinct. So if you leave dog food out next to your car, it may end up in your car's air intake. Rats also might build a nest there or really fuck up your car by chewing the wires.
Is it just dog food in engines, or would breakfast cereal in toilets trigger
the same feelings?
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I definitely have a crush on the girl who works loss prevention for the store I work at. I think she's a few years older than me and to me gives off gay maybe bisexual vibes but who knows. Not like it matters anyways, there's a strict policy against any sort of outside fraternization between LP and employees, can't interact in any sort of way outside of work and I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon. I just like being around her, which is kinda rare anyways because she's usually in her office doing LP shit. She kinda ripped into of my [male] managers today for saying some stupid shit over the radio and I feel kinda gross for saying it but hearing her put someone in their place was hot. Ugh.
its bothering us because she's larping as a beauty gooru, attacking any critics and faking everything including pheellipe the French boyfriend. she's insufferable and ridiculous.
if youre a normal nice person with spaced teeth I'm sure nobody who knows you gives a fuck. it's your choice what you do to make yourself feel better though, just giving my perspective.
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Here's another picture that's triggering
to me. It's dog food placed in a car's air intake by rats. If you don't secure your dog food then it might end up there.
As to why I'm posting in the confessions thread: I've always felt that other people were too sensitive about pictures, especially those relating to trypophobia. Now I feel a little bad about being disturbed by such relatively harmless pictures lol.>>444044>i think you have ocd anon.
Why do you think that? I think being triggered
by repetitive patterns is associated with ocd, yes. But I don't think I have any other symptoms. >>443959>Is it just dog food in engines, or would breakfast cereal in toilets trigger the same feelings?
Honestly I think it's just dog food in engines. I'm still not really sure why. My guess is that toilets are relatively clean to how engines are dirty. Toilets are more associated with food, because we poop in them and we use porcelain for sinks too. I don't really find toilets to be totally unhygenic. And it's pretty easy to imagine someone disposing of food in the toilet for me.
On the other hand, I don't think car engines and food have anything to do with them whatsoever. >>444186
This sounds like bait.
If you're not raising the kid and you don't have any contact with your family, why do you care about what she is like? And if you don't know her at all, how can you tell she is a transtrender? (Unless you think all trans men her age are trenders) Also homestuck has been out of trend for a couple of years now. Either way it's just for the better if you let these kinds of people live their life.
Sorry I've been here for months but I mostly lurk. Will a link work? >>>/snow/834298>>444165
Thank you for being nice. And yeah, I know people have mostly problems with her for being fucking weird and a fake, plus she makes her eyeballs huge and flaunts the teeth and it creeps people out… (as I said, I don't even smile with my teeth out and when I talk it's not that noticeable)
But the comments about the teeth do get to me. I'm extremely insecure about them and seeing people actually hating on them, calling them shark teeth etc makes me feel bad. It's fine tho.. I have had my mind set on the surgery already for a long time.
Also, since it's so rare I actually wondered if we may be related lol I live in Europe tho.
man that's really weird
you never stop learning, i didn't know rats did this
i can't stop looking at the pic, it feels eerie
Anon I really like pet rats and imo this is cute hoarding instincts. Makes me kek its triggering
to you but I don't know why you search for more pics if you hate it so much.
i think you have OCD because you seem kind of obsessed with this and being triggered
by it. you keep looking it up and you're even showing pics here for others to see.
I used to shoplift as a teenager. Not to the extent of those tumblr shoplifting blogs, but I would take like weekly trips to Target or other clothing shops and usually come out with 1-2 pieces of clothing or make up. I know it wasn't out of need, I know I wasn't really "sticking it to the man", I just wanted cute and nice things so I took them. I was never caught, but I didn't stop until maybe after my first year at college. It wasn't working at retail that stopped me, I just sorta stopped thinking about it (I was away for college and my only shopping was at the thrift store or online, so couldn't really shoplift).
It's weird when I'm at a store now. Sometimes I'll see something and think "huh, if I was still a teenager this would be so easy to steal" but most times if I see something that I like but is a little pricey, I'll just put it back. Maybe it's because I started downsizing and cleaning out my room- I don't like an unnecessary amount of small things/clothing, free or not. I'm glad I grew the fuck up. Still feels weird because I've kept some of the clothes I've stolen, and I still wear them out on occasion.
This sounds like fucking bait>woman in her 40s browses lolcow
Yeah it sucks that she's an embarrassing teenager but that's not the worst she could have turned out to be. Gentle reminder that she is only 21.
It sounds like adults in your life made decisions above your head that forced you to "grow up" quicker and you were probably pretty independent by 17 as a result, but don't use your troubled past as a yardstick or roadmap for her. It actually kind of makes me happy for her that her worst troubles are questioning her identity and getting mad over media crushes. That's standard normal teen shit.
While she sounds pretty embarrassing, you honestly sound like a piece of shit.
I get pretty much being force to have a kid is really fucked up but you never thought about putting her up for adoption? Pretty much instead dumping onto your mom (who probably didn’t want to raise another kid) and being self centered and selfish. Now she’s a cringe adult and you don’t seem to have any compassion or care for her. I get that you didn’t want to be a mother but she didn’t ask to be born either. Honestly, I feel bad for her over the fact that she has you as a mom.
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Can you sage your hateful garbage?
You said you're an oldfag now. All those years, did you even once think to check on her? To give her a bit of guidance? Come back into her life?
Hell, did you even say you loved her or a simple "Hi"?
Fuck you, you have no right to shit on her when you were never there. It sucks the hand you were dealt, but you decided you were checking out for good. Keep that same energy and don't judge now.
Are you the second coming of Ted Hughes? I would think really hard about why two of your ex lovers commited suicide. Maybe it's a coincidence, maybe you have a taste in unstable people or are an abusive
Did they reach out about it? They always say it's the people you suspect least that have already made up their minds and are unstoppable.
I wasted years of my life submitting to my abusive
exes suicide threats and now I'm genuinely salty that he's alive. I've never wished death on anybody else but if he didn't have a family I would probably get in touch with him again just to tell him to follow through already. >>445023
Sounds unhealthy, either get counseling or just cut people out of your life if they inspire such anger
Same. I really understand what you feel. Being this lonely fucking sucks.
Personally I'm in uni and I try so hard to make friends and be nice to people, but no one seems to want to actually hang out with me. Plus as you said a lot of them don't get my sense of humor and think I'm weird.
I hope you will find someone soon anon. I believe there is someone for all of us..
you aren't a bad person, but it does sound like you're doing a bad thing. of course you should be honest and direct with him, and offer to pay him back if that's appropriate/possible.
especially because it seems like you have a pretty low opinion of this guy. like obviously pretending to like someone to get attention and stuff from them when you don't like them is a bad thing lol. you learned this in middle school, anon.
You shouldn't feel bad for wanting positive change in society. Just living and being a good example to others can make an impact.
I too find social media burns me out emotionally and I can only keep up with some news/causes at a time. There's just a hell of a lot of bad in the world it sucks, and it can feel daunting to try and keep on top of everything that needs attention.
I do lazy activism in which I very rarely have time to go volunteering or canvassing, but research charities to set up monthly donations to. Online petitions for causes, you can check government websites for upcoming debates and voting issues and most times there are petitions that can be signed online to voice your opinion, then if they reach the threshold of signatures your representatives will have to debate on etc.
I wish I could do more too, but I don't think we should feel bad for it because we do want change for the better.
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It's the forbidden fruit perhaps anon? But also to be fair, he is legitimately quite good looking. I feel it. Can anyone think of a bone saw sex joke?
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Don't feel bad anon, at least you're self-aware enough to know it's a bad attribute you should keep on the dl. Guilty crushes on terrible people are the funniest, it's not like we can help it.
Just make sure you know if you ever feel any strong inclination to move to Saudi Arabia or marry an extremist, you should go and get a glass of water instead because you're don't really mean it and you're just thirsty.
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My dog woke me up by barking at 3:45AM last night. I got out of bed to pee and to tell her to knock it off by tapping her head with my finger. Then she woke me up at my regular wake up time (perfectly fine) but I was upset that I woke up groggy again because she fucked up my sleeping times. I usually time my sleep/wake up time so I wake up between sleep cycles, but for the past month I've been waking up for no reason at all and it throws it all off and I end up waking up super groggy.
I walked to the kitchen but she kept stumbling and running too close to my legs so when I went to move her aside with my leg, she tripped over some shoes nearby our doorway/kitchen and the image of her flopping over is burned into my head. She wasn't hurt, she's become very clumsy recently and will flop and trip over herself all the time, but fuck I feel terrible. She didn't come into the kitchen after me for maybe 10-15 minutes (was probably sitting outside like she tends to do sometimes), wouldn't eat her breakfast, and wouldn't even accept some cheese (she gets some every morning with her medication). This was also one of those mornings where she just didn't feel well and threw up, which explains why she didn't want to eat. She at least went out on a walk with me and I went to give her some cuddles before I left for work and left her to go to sleep, but fuck I feel bad.
I just want to go home and tell her I'm sorry and give her all the cheese in the fridge. I know I shouldn't be getting upset at her because she's old and probably going senile, but fuck.
My first few sexual fantasies were me being a guy and fucking a woman, I still get it sometimes, like another poster said.. strap-on
You can get some pretty realistic ones if that's important or strapless ones if you want to feel it. Basically the same stuff transguys buy
Sorry that sounds creepy out of context. I said giant dong because he is rather well-hung and is my point of reference and all the girls were really cute.
I thought about the strap on thing but what I want is to actually feel it. I don't know how to explain it but I want to fuck with a real dick but I don't want a dick. Brains are stupid and for now I'm content just to watch.
it stills sounds kinda creepy tbh. it's like you want to wear your bfs skin to fuck women.
is this auto-andro-philia?
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The troon from Euphoria is actually cute. I'm straight and that's probably why, I see "her" like a cute boy than a woman.
It looks better in motion btw.
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looks kinda like dylan sprouse
Nope, sounds like you're a cuck who has memed yourself into liking something he likes but you actually get nothing out of (a guy who fucks multiple women is not your boyfriend, sorry anon.)
You're just making him look good in polite company while pandering to his degeneracy, and inventing a niche sexual interest as to why you tolerate it.
Penis envy is a symptom of your inferiority complex, so even the fact you attest your tolerance to penis envy suggests he is in a power position and you are bowing to his will.
I don't see how that's possible when I'm the one who begged him to explore threesomes. He was very against it for the first couple of years but we continued to talk about it until we both agreed to try it out at least once to test the waters. The first one was really exciting for both of us so we continued to have them with that woman for several months before things tapered off since she wanted a relationship and we weren't really sure that we could give her what she needed emotionally and didn't want to hurt her. It ended amicably enough. This is definitely not something he'd initiate or do on his own that is so not his personality. He's really reserved and homey. Of course it's a lot of fun but he's made it very clear that whenever I want to stop he's ready to walk away from ever doing it again and he means it. He's a lot more attractive than I am if I'm being honest so if he wanted to go hoe or upgrade from me he certainly could. He's a really lovely guy and very committed which is rare. I'm grateful he explores this weird shit with me. >>445988
Yes! Through this I did realize I am at the very least bisexual but a total fucking bottom funny enough haha which really sucks for what my kink is.
Literal definition of a cuck.
I need your opinion on something that happened to me.
Then, I had not one single male friend, never got kissed, never held hands, never kissed etc. literally had no idea about any romantic or sexual stuff (my mum also never had a "talk" with me or something).
I started uni around the age of 19 and met this guy(27), who came from my hometown and shared the same major/minor subject.
Basically we spend about 12 hours, 5 days a week together at least.
We quickly turned friends and I really like and trusted him a lot.
He often came over to my place, also in the middle of the night. We usually just played Nintendo or whatever.
One night I wanted to show him my favorite movie instead, so we were sitting on the sofa until he slipped his hands into my pants out of nowhere.
I said 'no' and didn't want anything like this. like I never even had my first kiss at that point and he knew that.
But he kept on going pulled his dick out took my head in his hands and just shoved it onto his dick.
I didn't know what to do, so he just basically used my head to masturbate.
I said 'no' multiple times, tried to push him away, but I didn't try to hit him or scream. My mum was sleeping next door and I was scared she would think I'm a slut or something…
Then it was finally over and he left. I was very confused and just lay in bed crying for the following day.
Now to the weird thing.
I think I can pretty much say that thing that happened above was sexual abuse (although… I could have tried to fight him off better…I guess???).
But after that something in my head just thought ~if I can make him my boyfriend it wouldn't be sexual assault and I wouldn't have to feel dirty about it~.
So I kept on hanging out with him, and he took my virginity while I was crying, fucked me in the ass while I was screaming in pain, had sex with me blackout drunk, all that stuff. He always apologized after sex, so he knew he fucked up.
But I kept on going, he didn't want to be my boyfriend. I thought if I would do anything he wanted he would start loving me. But he never did.
When he left for good he said "Don't let anyone ever treat you the way I did. Cause it was fucked up."
So, all the time, he knew what he was doing to me and to this day I've never told anybody about this.
On one hand I'm so angry.
I'm about his age now and I understand that he fully knew he was abusing me.
On the other hand I can't forgive myself for letting him do all this to me.
I feel like I can't tell anybody, cause it's all my fault. I went back to him all the time.
I can't call it rape, cause I always went back to him.
I don't think I will ever be able to tell anybody. I still feel disgusting about it. No shower, no scrubbing will ever wash away this feeling. And I can't forgive him, cause first I would have to forgive myself.
So sorry for the long text.
I need honest opinions about this.
I tried to kill myself 2 times since then and I feel close to trying a 3rd time these days.
If you could tell me what you think, maybe I could finally talk about it with my therapist or something.
Until now, I'm too embarrassed…
Anon, first of all, I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m really, really sorry.
You have to understand that it was NOT your fault. It wasn’t. Even if you let him do it, it was him the one taking the decision to do it. You were young, naive and innocent and you wanted to believe that maybe he would change and wanted to be your boyfriend and he made you think he was your friend after all.
It’s normal that if you hadn’t have any male friends part of you didn’t see the danger about what you were doing. But it’s important that you convince yourself that the way he treated you was not fault nor how you wanted him to treat you.
I wish you the best in life, anon.
Anon I'm so sorry this happened to you. None of it is your fault, he was almost a decade older than you and used your friendship, trust and age/inexperience as a weapon against you to abuse you and you don't owe forgiveness to anyone except yourself. You're not broken or dirty, you were hurt and you were coping with it in isolation but you're not alone in this. Please don't you ever blame yourself.
I think you need to talk to someone, and your therapist might be the perfect place to start. However if you're scared of making the first step you can reach out to rapecrisis by email or phonecall even if you want to use a false name, and similar organisations exist if you're not in the UK. It can be scary to navigate the site or even see the organisation names, and the language might honestly upon up some floodgates but they can support you to make the next steps.
This is textbook Battered Woman Syndrome. What happened to you is absolutely not your fault, but it's very common for victims
to blame themselves for their abuse.https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320747.php
Hopefully this helps you understand how tragically common the thought process you're having is and not to blame yourself.
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I like to fantasise about being badly hurt that I get hospitalised or that I die and my SO suffers and feels remorse/guilt for letting this happen, I honestly get pleasure from people showing worry about me when I get hurt, I like when I get injured -which happens quite often- because then I get a few minutes of attention and love and care which I feel I lack a lot.
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my gfs mom spent way too much money on concert tickets for my gf/myself/herself & a friend and honestly ive never enjoyed the band that its for =(
Abusers, narcissists and sociopaths seek out kind, trusting people to drain of energy and resources. You were targeted because you're such a good person. But you can avoid these people, too. You need to not rely on character traits or events happening in good faith, and treat people with distrust. If someone oversteps your boundaries, get away from them ASAP. Similar has happened to me, but not as extreme. I thought I could make these guys love me if I only did X and Y
I recommend avoiding dating until you are in a safe and secure environment and with a greater understanding of men than you do at present. For example, as I learned, men are like robots. They have a set plan which they do not divert from. You cannot change a man's plan, but you can work around it.
It's not your fault.
Also I should add: you are not the only one
Guys do the same thing over and over. He had a routine of abuse that worked, and he did that over and over with different women. I would not be surprised if he assaulted children either based on the fact he continued sex with an unresponsive and confused you. I reread what you wrote and it sounds like he facefucked you. That happened to me too, it was sprung on me and I cried afterwards.
I empathize and I'm sorry. Do bring this up with your therapist, that's what they're there for.
>>446056>I can't call it rape, cause I always went back to him.
Incorrect. The first incident was rape, which formed the basis for the rest which was grooming and his perpetuating of the abuse cycle.
At no point was any of this your fault.
Please tell your therapist this. In all honesty, your therapist probably has a very good inkling or sense that something like this has happened. They're good at spotting this kinda stuff with a presentation like yours, so if it helps to think of it this way, she already "knows" and all you need to do is confirm it to her. This will be inordinately painful, but there is no shame in it.
You've told us already, which means part of you is crying out to be heard by others. Your therapist is the ideal place to start.
I'm not sure if the pain ever goes away fully, but some days it's easier to not want to destroy yourself because of it. You can kinda learn to live around it, or in spite of it. Some weeks you'll just be going around your life and realise you've not even thought about it in a few days, and that the memories haven't even entered your head. I think those days are where life is, so I know it's possible.
But you never, ever deserved any of this. You were a child. You do deserve to live.
Wow it sounds like you're not US. I'd honestly want to find him and take a bat to him. What a piece of shit.
Believe in karma and that he will get it back tenfold. Don't be around men again till you're ready and feel confident to say what you're feeling. If you can therapy, please do.
I'm so sorry anon.
Nta but your comment was so…perfect, it made me cry. I just got dumped from a toxic
relationship and your words were exactly what I needed to remind myself. Thanks for making the world a better place.
office jobs are literally the easiest thing to get>go through temp agency>be even slightly competent>work for 3 months and get hired on full time
i started out as a shitty low level temp and am now in one of the higher paying customer facing positions. getting paid 20% over the minimum wage to tell people to fuck off is great.
Maybe in the US, where I live you get an office job if you have experience and/or are a native here (not many people are). If you're an immigrant you work in the service industry, clean homes and hotels, pick fruit, etc. I did that until recently and I only got the specific job I got because it came with a load of prerequisites like willingness to relocate to third world countries for months at a time, and everyone here likes their cushy homes and normie jobs too much so they said no.
One thing I hate about physical service jobs is that they're always really fucking exploitative and have a crazy high turnover. You either get yelled at by your stressed out boss or rich, spoiled customers who haven't lifted a spoon their whole life and will then nitpick the work you do just to assert their dominance, even if there isn't anything wrong, because they have this annoying American "it's MY money and I get to say how you will do things" attitude.
Related confession, most of my customers at my old job are new money and it always fucking shows in their entitled attitude and ruthless penny pinching, I love talking shit about them to my friends. I can smell them from kilometres away because they tend to own similar cosmetics, furniture and have similar hobbies and lifestyles which poorly ape "old money" families. I treat everyone equally but I can always predict when someone's going to bitch about the work I do no matter how well I do it and it scares me how predictable and easy to read most of these people are. I also always get a front seat view of all these families' problems, conflicts and insecurities just by looking at their stuff and the way they treat each other and themselves. So many of them are profoundly unhappy.
I feel compelled to reveal my fucked up kinks just so you know you aren't alone.
For years I've felt ashamed because I thought I had a fetish for rape roleplay. But one day I read someone else describe my fetish but instead of calling it a rape fetish, they described it as wanting someone to be overcome by desire for me? It helped me feel less fucked up.
I have enjoyed hentai like Bible Black and similar others. It helps to get off to that instead of porn with real people acting it out. I am absolutely repulsed by the actual act of rape and am an empathetic person so idk why I enjoy roleplaying rapey type things?
Things like my arms being held down during sex or having straps attached to the bed and being tied up on the bed during sex. I know there is much worse rape type kinks and have come across them on porn sites but that stuff repulses me. I guess the crazy part is my partner is so nice and vanilla and isn't into any of my fucked up shit but indulges it for me. I also have an impregnation fetish which I feel ashamed about since I know it's typically a male fetish.
I have no idea why I like the stuff and where it comes from. The only thing I can think is I enjoy fetishes that feel mildly debasing or put me in someone else's control because of some childhood (NOT sexual) abuse I experienced. Still, it feels like a reach.
nta but, it's like penis envy. A guy wouldn't be fantasizing about it in the same way.
Though in my case it's more about how much easier it would be to masturbate with a dick. But I'd never want one 24/7.
Ugh, I hate to even think about that dishonest piece of shit. Jordan Peterson is my nemesis. I hate him more than anyone else on this planet.
My confession is that Game Grumps makes me nostalgic and helps me sleep but I really hate their sense of humor. They also love to do really shitty, misogynistic impressions of women when they "voice act" for games that have no VA. It's all valley girl voices and talking about dicks and farts. Why do I find it easy to fall asleep to it…
Same except I don't really love my mom, just feel the responsibility, and never finished college, even after trying to five times, because of my inability to be a functional person.
I wish I could just accept I'm going to be miserable forever, getting my hopes up a couple of times a year just for my own ass to fuck everything once again hurts too much.
Being born feels like a curse sometimes.
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I don't mind MTF like pic related, he's wearing an appropriate outfit for his age (90 yrs old) and I find his intense blush super cute.
this is why the league community sucks.
I'm actually really nice to my teammates by default, but they do shit like spamming pings on someone for an accidental creep kill or someone not going exactly where they
want. I'm not going to carry people like that to a victory they don't deserve.
i just… if it's happening that much why not mute pings and chat?
most of the high-level players that make youtube videos for beginners usually put that out there as a MUST when you're climbing.
the fact of the matter is that the main demographic of that game is males aged 15-30, so yeah they're gonna be shithead speds. but that's kind of what you have to deal with when you play a game like that.
plus if you afk enough times in ranked you're eventually just going to catch a ban anyway.
if you start playing shitty after them complaining about you playing shitty that just makes them feel justified.
it sounds like you'd be better off if you could find someone to duo with and then either bot together or do a mid/jg or top/jg. then at least you can guarantee you have 1 person to synergize with and someone to keep you sane.
My friends don't play league anymore and I've come across good players that I can duo with but they all end up using racial slurs or other weird shit eventually. It's kinda gross tbh.
I don't really care about them feeling justified bc I bait them into flaming more and then get them banned. I know they're banned bc riot sends you a message when they ban the people you report.
It's not a very good way to forge close, personal connections, but imo it's only a bad thing if you're acting like an edgy asshole and screwing people over.
But I have similar problems. >>448439
Is the externalization necessary? Serious question, is a lesson not learned unless that person is blasting their shit all over social media or telling everyone they know?
>>448450>Is the externalization necessary? Serious question, is a lesson not learned unless that person is blasting their shit all over social media or telling everyone they know?
I don't know, is assuming that I'm talking about the other extreme necessary?
Social media is cancer, that's not exactly a secret nor a unique viewpoint. I'm talking about relationships with people in real life, workplace, public relations etc.
Learning from your mistakes is something that happens internally. Being transparent with your mistakes and decisions, on the other hand, is just good communication.
This does not of course apply to kiddy diddlers and other assorted degeneracy.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't stop jerking it to tornadoes.
At least if I ever have the misfortune of being in the path of a strong one I'll hopefully be able to climax before I get impaled by debris.
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Arctic Monkeys baybee
Survival instinct for sure, anon. I say this as a person who went to college and worked my ass off just to have my leech ex not even fucking try for years but thought his restaurant job was martyrdom.
I feel behind now because I wasn't dating a man who had his own shit together and was concerned about propping up my ass to enrich both our lives.
Don't fall for romance memes. Get a guy who's willing to provide unless you wanna be sugar momma.
Your advice doesn't really make sense seeing as she's in a way worse than your bf. He at least worked retail, she was complately a NEET. So if only having a low paying job makes you a leech, then why should anybody put up with with somebody who's doing even less than that?
She would make her future partner feel behind, because he'd have to literally enrich her life, she'd never be somebody's sugarmom, she'd be the one only taking from others.
Just delete whatever throwaway you're using now. There's no positive result here and exposing yourself to that ideology is toxic
. Moreover it's just a waste of time. I know this is literally a site of people that have nothing better to do except nitpick boob veins but willingly larping as an incel is kind of sad, go outside or read a book or something.
He's probably got swamp-ass and no job. He's trash, stay away.
Next time you message him, tell him you found a hot 9/10 girlfriend who you treat kindly. That'll scare him off.
i'm doing this because i can see a good person in him that has been buried by retarded incel fuckery. he is spewing the same shit all incels do but i don't think he would be like this if he wasn't surrounded by that echo chamber. he's always getting drunk and high every day to cope. even if we don't date i wish he would get psychological help. if we were dating and he actually knew who i am i could openly try to help him but he doesn't even believe that real relationships and love exist..>>448629
lol might do it if he takes things too far.
Is there anything wrong with boyfriends being the ones to buy things for girlfriends most of the time, though?
It's not like we live in a totally equal world where women are prone to have exactly as much resources and money as men do, anyway. That may be the case for some couples, but not all yet (and I'd say not even most), so, I see no point in LARPing as if it is just for the illusion of fairness. It's not even a matter of "deserve", it just makes sense given the way society is.
Besides, I've seen a lot of guys get pissy and feel emasculated if a woman wants to buy things for them too often, or is actually more wealthy or successful than them. They either want to meet her halfway and then surpass her. "Surpassing" can mean either spoiling her way more than she does him (either just because he loves her that much and feels guilty, or so he still feels like he has a right and an investment in the relationship - sometimes both), or doing something to sabotage her career so she can't keep reminding him of his inadequacies, depending on how scummy he is.
The only ones I've seen who don't feel that way, at least to some extent, tend to be actual leeches who never really want to give, only receive.
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I think Moo/Momokun is adorable, I think she looks like a baby piglet or bunny, but the stuffed animal version? I smiled at the photo of PNP's kitten for like two minutes this morning, that kitten is adorable. I also like Shayna/Babypussy's (or whatever her username is now) taste in early 60s and would sometimes watch her live "porn" just to revisit some oldies while listening for milk. The music kinda made it feel worth it, like getting a lolipop after having your arm reset. I hate keeping up with cows and 100% get all of my milk from this website because I don't have social media of any kind. These are things I would otherwise never post, especially not in their threads. I wish I could sage on here for this rambling.
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>>448677>I hate keeping up with cows and 100% get all of my milk from this website because I don't have social media of any kind.
I know the feeling, anon.
You're wrong for that image, though, lmao
>>448661>Is there anything wrong with boyfriends being the ones to buy things for girlfriends most of the time, though?>men who don't spoil their girlfriends tend to be actual leeches who never really want to give, only receive
Anon, you're contradicting yourself. Guy spoiling girl = a-okay, guy not spoiling girl = leech?
I believe that I am equal and can/will earn as much as my future partner and therefore I also don't need to live by some old sexist roles like you just described. Have some respect for yourself, saying "oh men earn more and can't stand not surpassing us and therefore they should be paying for everything most of the time" is just sad.>>448668>if you really want to get into it, traditional gender roles encourage men to spend to show love while women are encouraged to show it in acts of service.
And why would any educated woman want to stick to those gender roles…?
>>448679>And why would any educated woman want to stick to those gender roles…?
clearly that anon does lol sometimes there are reasons women will choose to depend on someone rather than be totally independent or split everything 50/50 like disability, a lack of education, an inability to find work to support themselves.. or you know… they just want
to. As much as it sucks, it does take a lot more to be independent as a woman and I can’t blame those who choose to adhere to traditional roles. Not everyone’s a go getter like you lol
I don't really measure equality or respect for myself by buying men shit, lmao. It just seems like a silly hill to die on. I'd rather they buy me gifts and I give them other things. Also, the reason men are leeches when they do it is because men flat-out don't offer the same things women do in a relationship 99% of the time. It's a sad fact of life. Toxic
masculinity is probably one of many reasons why, but it needs to be solved.
Things will have to change radically for society to truly be as equal as you're trying to posit, and I'm not out to give the rewards for equality until I actually see results. Like I said, no point in LARPing for "fairness" we don't even have. You can do as you'd like, but maybe don't try and pressure women into trying to prove something we actually don't have to (and probably shouldn't, in the current state of things, lest men take it the wrong way and add it to bullshit reason #58395385938 "why we don't need feminism") just because you enjoy it.
Just make sure that it doesn't create a weird power dynamic in the relationship. Like if he resents it or if things turn sour but you stay cos you don't feel able to support yourself.
That can go from 'I'm so lucky' to 'I feel stuck' once the honeymoon period fades out
I'm not attracted to any of them but I think a lot of the cows are beautiful, or at least normal looking. It feels so deranged when anons nitpick unflattering webcam stils or old photos to tear girls apart.
Maybe it's just that I'm ugly myself.
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I want to fuck Onision. Although he has the shittiest personality of all time and I hate him, I still can't deny the fact that I would screw him if given the opportunity. I would just love to violently ride his dick while simultaneously covering his mouth with my hands so I don't have to hear him say something retarded. Please forgive me for this one, anons.
I really don't think a lot of the cows are ugly, it's the fact that some of them shop themselves to look inhuman.
Moo was pretty before she looked like a bloated ballon and got so much lipo and now is doing plastic surgery. Kind of sucks to see her go down the deathfat path.
I don't find Kota or Kiki ugly either, even if their hair is a bit thin. People in general like to nitpick cows looks with a magnifying glass because it's easy to do so when their actions are shitty, even if they're not ugly, their personality makes them ugly.
if this isn't gurg selfposting then please
love yourself anon
Tbh I just wanna see him completely naked and maybe laugh a little
I like it when he uses his deep voice (when he’s not trying to sound young or im14andthisisdeep), it sounds so velvety and sexy. His blue eyes are the color of the ocean.
I’m going to cleanse my thoughts now, ew.
wow no. >>448939
this is a flattering picture of him. he has the most noxious personality of almost anyone, ever? bordering on as bad as inceltier without being an incel? this really is shameful
I just knew from lurking the Onion threads that at least some of the users had some sort of weird sexual tension for the man.
No one said shit (and the very few who did were/are rightfully shamed), but it was palpable. There's just always some weird feeling in those threads that I don't detect in others.
Thank you for confirming my suspicions, anon.
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I don't find his features ugly but he aged like milk, he was kinda handsome when he was young tbh. Ironically, his facial features are associated with psychopathy like the very proeminent Neanderthal browbone. I think some farmers might be attracted to abusers, just a tinfoil.
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I said “a little” as in Walmart Kurt Cobain
Anyway, can’t believe this is from 10 years ago
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This. When you read the posts about cows and flakes in their threads, you have to think of it as if anons are holding the world's biggest magnifying glass onto the subject at hand. Even if the person is very attractive, you can expect a farmer to post something like "God, one of her eyelids is a little bit lower than the other, and she has this little crease under one of her eyes, it's so gross and annoying to look at" or "She has such ugly hands, fucking gremlin". No matter what, they will find something
to complain about, just out of sheer dislike for the individual. Everything is exaggerated.
If you don't remember all this, you'll go crazy hyperfixating on shit and seeing flaws in yourself (and others) that no normal human notices or gives a shit about. That's how we ended up with the "nasolabial folds" meme.
It legitimately seems like a knee jerk reaction half the time. A cow posts a pic, therefore it needs an insult whether there's anything wrong with her or not.
I think it's pathetic tbh, there's no chance those anons are as skinny and perfect as they expect cows to be. And as a whole they make lolcow look like a bunch of petty, bitter bitches who hate on girls they're jealous of. Usually anons have plenty of good reasons to hate a cow but we lose so much credibility when the real issues are mixed in with dumb nitpicking.
I‘m currently fully dependent on my boyfriend, and if I wasn‘t I would‘ve broken up with him several times already.
We moved country together, and I‘ve just been given more evidence to how more than anything, he‘s self serving. I‘ve caught him lying about shit he‘s just uncomfortable with telling me. In the instances I see these things the incidents themselves are no big deal, but with the underlying attitude I can see the relationship going to absolute shit in the future, when bigger issues come up.
So once or twice a week he‘ll say something like "I don‘t care, doesn‘t affect me" if he does something rude or inconsiderate, and I‘m filled with this disdain, and my immediate thought is that I need to get a job ASAP (i‘m looking) to be independent and have the option to split. I insisted he get therapy and he‘s agreed, until then there are some core issues i‘m just ignoring.
I‘m quite ashamed that I‘m fully supported by him, and at the idea that I‘d be leaving this guy who‘s seemingly great for me, my family and friends love him etc etc, all first time things for me.
"I don‘t care, doesn‘t affect me"
Yep make that exit plan. I've been in that situation and was always biting my tongue when he treated me badly because he paid the rent and I didn't want to get kicked out..
Take back your power and get enough of an income to walk. You sound mentally finished with him already
On the plus side a whole lot of women aged 18 to 24 have some god awful sex in those years and some of the threads on here are full of examples of no-foreplay sex and 'forcing you to perform like a porn star' sex etc..
If you're worried about painful sex I'm assuming you haven't used internal toys? I played with toys before losing my V so didn't have that worry. Could help prepare you
I haven't used toys yet, I've been masturbating for years but I'm afraid that if I use too many toys I'm going to somehow give myself too much pain or damage myself internally. It's kind of shameful that I'm too scared to even put a tampon up there, I have anxiety so I shake like a leaf, I'm afraid I'm going to insert anything up there except my fingers the wrong way. Which is strange because a dick is going to be a lot bigger than any of those things.
The other reason why I don't have toys is bc I still live with my invasive mother who has abusive
tendencies so if I buy any she'll find them and shame me for it, and I know I won't be able to hide anything because she gives me no privacy and is always touching my shit. Truth be told never bought them when I lived elsewhere either because I was too afraid somebody would find them and shame me for it. It took me until about 14-15 to actually start masturbating and that feels like a "late" age to start doing it. I've felt ashamed of my own sexuality and too afraid to speak about it to anyone, I've always felt insecure speaking about it with my parents and the only thing I ever discussed was birth control very briefly in the case that I ever started having regularized sex, because of my repressed sense of sexuality and being unable to discuss it with much of anyone it's manifested into this awful shame complex and fear of some of the aspects of it, but also wanting to lose my virginity because everybody else is having sex regularly by now at my age, some people are even in serious long term relationships with regularized sex,.. or at least hookups, or so it feels that way. I'm afraid of hookup culture and not dating first tho… lots of scummy guys hang out on hookup apps and I don't want to lose my v to someone who could potentially have a sleazy std/sti.
Nayrt but reading about your anxiety and expectation of pain, I really second that you experiment with toys or even your own fingers first. Get to know your body before getting to know anyone else's, learn to take control of your own pleasure before expecting anyone else to give it to you. How are you meant to tell a guy to keep going or to stop if you're so worried about not knowing what you like yet? I'm worried you're setting yourself up for mediocre sex because you don't know any better, or at worst to be taken advantage of.
Just a note, having penetrative sex for the first time doesn't need to be painful or done in one go. The more comfortable you are with your body and in tune with what feels good for you then the less chance it will hurt. Gritting your teeth and getting it over with is old fashioned bullshit.
There's so much fear and shame around venturing inside your own vagina even for practical reasons like menstrual products… Imagine if guys hated their own penises this much
I was a socially delayed young woman with an anxiety problem and sex toys were a godsend. Also I don't know why so many women wait for guys to break their hymen when you can do it for yourself
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I got a philtrum piercing just to take it out a few months after it healed up so the scar would make my cupid's bow look more defined. It worked according to plan and was cheaper/easier than surgery. No ragrets
>>449137>23>it's really angering to feel like a sexually unattractive and unappealing old virgin>I don't wanna feel like a femcel if I reach 25 and I'm still a virgin
You seriously need to work on your self-esteem if you think that life end at 25. And that obsession over virginity is also really unhealthy.
People lose their virginity really late now or just don't even fuck anymore. Also, get out from the internet and chill, make some good time for yourself and enjoy life.
"People lose their virginity really late now or just don't even fuck anymore"
What world are you living in??
That and I think some use the cows to let out their own general life frustration,
The way some anons are starting up weird infighting with other anons screams of people coming here just to vent a bit of hate or to feel like they can win an argument or be better than someone else.. even if its only on a gossip site
>>449369>Those plastic tubes they come in
nta but in my country those things are mega rare, tampons you find in normal shops don't have them.
So it seems most women are doing fine without them.
I always find shoving up something ultra-drying into your unhappy menstruating vag uncomfortable, however.
i mean that's how I deal with it and I haven't developed thrush/bv/toxic
shock syndrome etc, but, if I'm not like mega bleeding, I just wet them with my saliva a bit before inserting? works like a charm but then again on ones for example are kinda sloppy to start with
I'm almost certain that both my parents molested me, but I've forgiven them. I've repressed it for such a long time that most of the pain is dulled. There's all these entire patches of my childhood I don't remember, inappropriate behavior from my mother that I do remember, strange discomfort around my father ever since I was young, but at the same time, knowledge that I absolutely needed to act "normal" to appease him. I've been trying to convince myself I've just been making it up in my head for years, but a month ago, I read something that gave me this sudden feeling of familiarity mixed with disgust (a lot of it self-disgust), anxiety, and confusion that I've never felt before. I'm not sure if I would call it a "flashback", but it stuck out to me because I've read some fucked up shit that did nothing to me. Meanwhile, this comparatively tame thing was somehow enough to push me over the edge spiraling. I don't even really want to explain it.
I can tell they still love me. They do everything they can to help and support me. I just don't know why they did that. I don't think I'll ever get it. I thought it was just my dad at first, but I can't reconcile that with my mom's actions after the fact. I think my mom tried to protect me at first (she wouldn't let me sleep in my own room, it was always me and her in one room, dad in another, but when we moved away, I was finally allowed my own), but she just sort of let it happen after some time, and then the normalization of it all sort of "stuck", and that's why she acted in certain ways and said certain things out of left field.
Maybe they thought I wouldn't remember, and I guess they weren't entirely wrong. I'm not even going to try and bring it up to them, there is no point. Even if they admit to it, talking about it won't make any of it un-happen, and they're trying their best to do right by me.
I still act normal to them, but my dad might be coming back into my life, after years. It scares me, because I don't know how I'm going to be able to hug him, now that I'm physically developed and have breasts. One of the few things I still remember is when he groped me when I was 9 or 10 as a form of "play", or a "joke".
It makes me feel so fucking queasy to think of touching him again, but I know I'm going to have to just get through it. Even the way he texts me using certain emojis he only uses with his new wife makes me so uncomfortable. It disgusts me, but I just grin and bear it. Don't really know how to cope fully.
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Or you could get a job where it doesn't fucking matter what you look like and then you don't even have to worry about what you look like or be jealous of others. Careers in agriculture, forestry, horticulture, conservationism etc.
Why obsess over the mere LOOKS of others instead of comparing your skill sets/basic competency? This is some basic bitch tier thinking here.
You are blocking so much mental real estate with pointless vanity instead of actually challenging yourself creatively or physically.
Start engaging in hobbies or activities that require you to create or physically challenge your body.
Looks don’t matter at my job. None of the girls are very attractive or make much of an effort. And I’ve got a great skill set, I’m management at my company and quickly excelling. Yet I’m still this way, so micro-focused on being ~beautiful and wanted~
I’ve completely alienated myself from every women that enters my life in any way. No friends at all, just men.
Sounds miserable right? It is.
Sounds like you work a bullshit job that provides little to zero real fulfillment and probably could go under tomorrow and have no effect on the world.
What the fuck does a manager create or inspire? What does a manager do for their community or the environment?
You also didn't address why you're so small brained that you are unable to even compare skill sets of other people. Do you assume that the women around you are just completely devoid of any talent or skill? Or that you couldn't possibly learn anything from them? You are misogynistic trash.
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>>449474>I regularly side with incels and men on 4chan, feed their sexist opinions, and gang up on other girls for being fat or unfeminine. I’m pretty disgusting, really. Nice to get off my chest!
Then why are you here? Surely, your beloved incels are far better company than us?
Could it be that hatred and isolation from other women is actually a horrible experience? Hmmm.
If your boyfriend easily trips over another woman because shes good looking then he wouldnt be that into you
Yall need men who worship the ground youre on.
It is. That’s why I come here. It’s kinda like my only real form of communication with other women. I used to have best girlfriends and I miss it. >>449565
I’m not a dude. Have vagina and tits.
Sorry to continue the girl hate train- I don't really hang around with men, I love my female friends, they're kind and cool and fun to be around. But they make me feel like shit. I'm always the ugliest friend, and I start to get really resentful and have horrible thoughts toward them when we do things like get ready for nights out. I hate the constant talking about what outfits they're going to wear for something, or about how crazy their boyfriend went over their new lingerie . It makes me think about how shit I always look in comparison to them, and when I'm feeling horrible about it I'll try to validate myself by thinking about how vapid they are, how they're vain, blah blah, but 1. they are valuable people beyond that, and 2. If I wasn't so fug I would absolutely join in and enjoy it.
I don't want to feel like this about them, at least if I'm gonna be ugly I could be supportive and nice instead of ugly AND bitter and hateful. I don't know how to get past it.
Why is it so hard to just stop being a pick-me, then?
There's nothing to be gained from it.
This just reinforces the idea that the girls with the "Queen Bee" syndrome are hideously insecure and taking it out on other women instead of working on their own flaws. >>449572
That's not the girls' fault and not an issue that has to do with women. It's your shitty self esteem and the socialization of women being forced to be judged on their looks alone.
>>449572>I don't know how to get past it.
just work on your self esteem and confidence. it sounds like a meme but fomo, comparing yourself, and all that shit is literally just manifestations of low self esteem.>>449589>This just reinforces the idea that the girls with the "Queen Bee" syndrome are hideously insecure and taking it out on other women instead of working on their own flaws.
This is true tho. Queen Bees are the queens of insecurity and lashing out.
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I still enjoy the feeling of holding in my shit, even though it's not heslthy
>fellow female>Nice to get off my chest!
Who the fuck talks that way if not some diot incels?
Be my friend and help me heal lol, if you feel you can handle someone awful like me. >>449777
For the last time, I’m a fucking woman. I spend a lot of time talking with incels so maybe I’m starting to sound like one
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>>449542>Why the fuck would a guy larp as a girl here?
Anyway, it's obvious you're a scrot because you made like five different retarded unsaged posts in the last 12 hours where you roleplay as a fucking teen movie queen bee stereotype.
Pfffpt no they don't. You're just lying now.
Every time I've seen a woman enter an incel/mgtow space online, she's gotten torn to shreds regardless of what she says.
Jesus Christ, if you're actually telling the truth, that's sad as hell. You're literally wasting your time trying to impress the lowliest, ugliest, meanest bottom-feeders on the internet. If you're really a girl, you need to get the hell off the internet and see therapist, because your self-esteem is in the toilet.
I feel that my self-esteem is forever shattered and that’s why I do these things.
Has anyone ever been to /soc/? Or /r9k/? The incels there will orbit literally anyone, so being attractive means yes… when I agree with them, they worship me.
Why the fuck don't you just master some kind of skill or talent?
If you have all of this free time why not actually enact the discipline to become someone of real value?
Seriously, what the fuck are you going to do when you eventually get older and you cannot rely on the hordes of mentally unstable bottom feeders to validate you?
Now is the time to exercise actual strength and control and devote yourself to skill crafting and training your body.
Stop being weak.
Breast size has absolutely no effect on milk production. The only impact it has on breastfeeding is that smaller boobs leak more often.
Also, as a busty woman, there are definitely perks to having tiny boobs. You don't have to worry about them sagging when you get older, getting ruined after you have a baby, clothes look far less slutty on you, and when you have big tits guys automatically assume you must be a whore and act even more revoltingly than normal. Also, women with smaller breasts and petit figures can pull off a more "elegant" classic look like Audrey Hepburn.
Not having to wear a bra sounds like an absolute dream to me. A lot of smaller chested women want to be bigger and larger chested women often want to experience that braless freedom. It's hardly worth 'wanting to lay down and die over'
Look at any women who've had either a breast cancer mastectomy or a preventative mastectomy.. life is more than perfect tits. I've watched a family member go from large to nothing, she didn't even have nipples afterwards, still a woman and a mother etc
I hope you embrace it over time. I used to hate mine so much and even started to save up for a boob job. They're far apart and also smaller that 32A, I gave up on finding bras so I just buy sports bras.
I started going to the gym more regular and it made me realize how annoying it would be to have bigger breasts, they'd be constantly in the way, extra tit sweat, back pain, having to wear bras constantly for support, creepy guys staring. Yea no thanks.
I’ve never been knocked up for more than 6 weeks, and I have a small frame so it’s not very noticeable. >>450523
I would make him but we orgasm together. Like the same time, often, but mine is interrupted if he pulls out.
Not OP but while I do want my own babies someday, I understand why no one else will like my babies.
I fucking hate other people's children. Doesn't make me feel bad, it's just a fact that most people don't care for what's not theirs.
So if you've never had an abortion over 6 weeks you've basically got a giant blood clot and mucus plug sitting in a jar in your bedroom.
Anon that's more unhygienic than sentimental. Eesh.
I knew a guy with ocd and various mental health issues, he once told me he had obsessive worries that he was a pedo.. but that he wasn't one.
It reminded me of my general anxiety and the tendency to think of worst case scenarios all the time.. but worse
Diff anon but I've experienced enough male violence in my life that if I wanted help ending my life it'd be with a woman
I mean plenty of us have been sexually assaulted by guys to the point of not wanting them to touch us
Diff anon but I've experienced enough male violence in my life that if I wanted help ending my life it'd be with a woman
I mean plenty of us have been sexually assaulted by guys to the point of not wanting them to touch us
In my 30s and have had plenty of friends over the years describe this. The 'I'm doing it so I don't lose my relationship' experience is scarily common.
If you "want it to be over as quick as possible" is it really fair on you to make yourself do it?
too many reasons to list and i'm trying not to get too personal. it's the kind of thing that would be a little ruined by reality, honestly. at most, it would be a mutual affair.>>453073>>453084
normally i'd agree with you girls, but his case is different. they aren't anywhere near "famous" and that's never been their drive. they've always been a self-run operation and do so out of passion for their art. i'm very sensitive to skeevy men and his behavior isn't like that at all. actually, it's the pureness of it that makes things so hard lol oh no
i used to about a past psychiatrist.
a few years later after leaving his practice, started going to public group therapy and learned that other girls felt the same way about him. had a pretty good laugh. the guy was hot and played guitar and all that stupid sappy shit.
I know it’s not really fair to myself, but I love my boyfriend and don’t want to lose him. He never pushes me for anything and never gets mad about me not wanting to do stuff most the time, but I can just kinda tell he’s unsatisfied. But you’re right, doing this for the rest of my life sounds like absolute hell.>>453159
I think you’re right. I have a therapist who I probably should talk to this about, but I’ve been seeing her since I was like 14 so it feels really inappropriate for me to talk about sexual issues with her yknow? I’ll try and do some research of my own and work on it in my own time. Thank you for the suggestion and advice, I think maybe posting about it and getting feed back is a good wake up call for me to confront these issues rather than ignore them. >>453208
The book? I guess I never really considered that comparison but yeah probably more than I expected, my dad also killed himself when I was 18 so maybe a little too similar to Naoko for my own liking lol.
it's not breivik fault he killed people
society is to blame!
anon tricking incels just makes them more hateful tho. ever heard of the phrase "don't poke the bear"? these people are already deranged, why help them over the edge? whiny incels who baww about not being treated by women because they want to be coddled feed into eachother and enable eachother. it just takes one person validating your feelings to make you think you're right. and anon is both validating them and
making them more hateful.
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I shoplifted for the first time today, and I'm in my 20's. I did it because my family's money situation has become super strict recently and I've been off my meds due to an insurance issue and waiting for the new one to kick in. I stole about $6 worth of stuff while buying $22 of stuff but god. I don't feel bad, actually feel kind of good in some ways but I really don't want this to become a habit. I was super unstable and crying and freaking out this morning and I think the "thrill" of taking lip balm helped give me a dopamine rush and helped me to stabilize for the rest of the day. I took it from a big box store and while I know it's wrong I can't help but not care about the morality, I'm just afraid that this sense of control will lead to a bad habit.
If your worst crime is stealing $6 of lip balm from some big box company then you're the least of society's problems.
Not to enable the behavior, but I completely relate to the temptation during strained financial times. I never stole anything valuable nor took from a brick and mortar type store. But I did steal necessities that would have added up like a dollar or three here and there, which at the time felt like agony to spend that little extra. During my lowest points I felt like the world didn't give a shit about how much I worked and sacrificed just to afford the little that I could, so much that I felt entitled to take what I needed to keep my sanity. The act doubled as my personal fuck you to the companies that I felt exploited people like me.
When my financial situation got better I didn't really indulge those behaviors anymore because at that point I had the means.
Lack of money and stress really does things to people.
It's good that you identified the reason why you did what you done, so just avoid it if you can.
It's really good that you're reflecting on it and feel remorse, anon. Especially if it's something as small as lip balm.
It's not an issue now, but when I was around 8-12 I had an issue with shoplifting and stealing from family/friends. Mostly little stuff. Keychains, make-up, small toys, candy, etc. I never stole anything worth more than like ten bucks. It was just a phase, and I grew out of it. For me I think it just had to do with emotional instability from puberty.
Maybe use bargain hunting or using coupons/going thrifting as a way of legally getting that buzz
I've worked in security for a big chain drug store and making it out the door doesn't mean getting away with it. Cameras are checked after stock doesn't add up (sometimes the concern is that staff are stealing) It's not worth being unable to return to a store, lipbalm isn't the same as stealing food to feed a family.. not trying to make you feel bad but find a better way of getting that buzz
Surely you're not implying that upon returning to the store, the employees would call the police to report the girl who stole some balm a month ago?
Stealing is wrong mostly and not worth the risk, but let's not get crazy here.
Good luck OP and don't make it too much of a habit.
I wasn't implying that at all.. and have no idea why you thought that?
I mean that (example) I know that a neighbors teenage daughter stole something from the store even though she didn't get caught at the time.. you're watched after that to see if you do it again. But people in the store know about her while she feels like it wasn't noticed. Some people get paranoid and never return to the store after stealing one item..local people who would come in regularly before that
If it’s any consolation all stores have stock that they presume will be damaged/go missing, a lip balm won’t harm the store owners nor the workers in any capacity
I too would like to confess that I feel more giddy than bad when I realise I accidentally nicked something from the store (I shop with a pram, things can easily get buried in the cargo basket) - the thought of me having saved $10 by not noticing that bottle of shampoo under all the other groceries I paid for just far outweighs the tiny amount of guilt over petty theft in my mind
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I was at the movies with my date the other day and he asked me to pay for snacks with his cash while he used the restroom.
When I got the change back I got a coin that had a slightly tarnished pic related on the opposite side.
I tried to jest out loud that it kind of looked like Bob Ross because of the rusted afro, and the pen and paper looking like a brush and canvas as a picture of a house scenery was in the background.
It's a picture of Frederick Douglass and no one thought it was funny sadface emoji
It's okay, sometimes the best jokes are ones that only you get. And that does look like Bob Ross, anon.
My sister told me about this time she had hooked up with a guy who was dumb as bricks, and afterwards they were chilling in his room. There was a moth on the ceiling and she says, "Oh, you never told me you had pets!" He didn't laugh but when she told me the story we both found it fucking hilarious. I guess the fact that the guy didn't get the joke is part of what makes it funny, though.
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I am guilty of this very often, not because i don't get the jokes, i just don't find that many things to be that funny to warrant a response, i usually indulge people when they make quips because i know they do it to lighten the mood but i am truly annoyed when they overplay it, its tiresome and sometimes i don't have the energy to string them on. I can't even stand reading reddit comments and look at all the puns, at that level its obnoxious behavior so if i am not particularly in the mood or just tired no matter how much i like you as a person i might totally still reply to the bob ross or moth jokes with a cold "oh… yes" and change the subject. Sorry.
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I completely over my cringy BTS phase but I NEED U still makes me feel weirdly sad and nostalgic.
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I had my first kiss at 5. With a female cousin. She "taught" me how to do it, and it was no smooch, we actually put lots of tongue. We used to makeout in my room when we were alone.
Nobody knows about this aside from me, her, and our parents who found out after a while. It's embarrassing and I've never told a single soul about it. Maybe only my future spouse will know.
Same here but it was with my little sister, I think I was 9-10 and she was 4-5? I have no idea why we did that and I had no idea how serious it was as a kid and I wonder if she remembers. I feel so disgusted and embarassed and if she ever brings it up as an adult I wanna offer to pay for her therapy or some shit.
Sometimes I wonder if I was abused and can’t access the repressed memories or if little kids just do weird stuff to each other a lot and nobody talks about it. My boyfriend had a similar experience with a friend his age but at least they weren’t related.
lol, what the fuck she stole from a store? That's a fucking crime? If financial issues were a problem she wouldn't steal LIP BALM but fucking food / medication.>>453865
Just because your family's money is tight and they want you to keep a budget doesn't make you ok to steal ffs.
Your a thief. You all are spoiled.
Who cares, moralfag?
As long as they didn't stole from a mom-and-pop business it literally has no effect whatsoever in the world. At most they are the ones that'll get fucked over it, not the companies.
>>454813>cut the veggies and butter I need with my own teeth.
Are you the anon that responded in the Celebricow thread to a month old post about how wrong it is to steal? Is this trad-thot maybe? What's your obsession with people stealing. Loss prevention staking out lolcow?
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I have nothing but hatred for men with long nails. I have a underling coworker whose nails are long and yellow and are disgusting as fuck whom I nicknamed Nine Inch Nails. I don't care for him at all and I sometimes use my authority over him to give him demeaning tasks (such as cleaning the toilets twice in a shift rather than once after we close) because of his nasty hygiene. I don't even care.
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i used to feel the same and not be able to handle ANY bit of nail length on males but lately i've been feeling like it's kind of hot if theyre skinny and have long, pretty fingers like pic related
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I'm sexually attracted to Todd Howard and I don't know why. My bf and I both think it's hilarious but I genuinely want to fuck this man
I think when we hear the word Pedo we assume it's a guy with only an attraction to children, I binge watched a bunch of pedo sting vids on youtube lately covering the US, UK and Canada and men were caught grooming girls as young as 9 when they had wives or girlfriends and had dated women successfully and enjoyed sex with grown women
I think porn, easy access to kids through the internet and a need to seek out the taboo (when porn trains you to want more extreme things) is creating a new type of offender where a true attraction to children isn't even the fuel behind the abuse, it's wanting a sense of power that grown women won't put up with..so they move on to 10 year olds
Yes. A lot of child abuse is done simply because children are easy victims
. And porn with it's obsession with young-looking teens is making it worse.
Never ever feel tempted to feel sorry for a pedo. They are trying to gain acceptance within the alphabet soup now that trans and fetishists are taking over Pride. Can't find it now but here was a "boylover" on twitter who filmed himself walking at a pride event in an European city wearing a pedo code symbol t-shirt.
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I've always said I don't want children but recently I've started to think about what it would be like to raise a little girl. I've always been jealous of girls who have such good relationships with their mothers and nothing warms my heart more than seeing happy and wholesome mother-daughter relationships. I would teach her so much, how to respect and love herself, how to be kind while not sacrificing her own needs and desires, and the value of being a self-reliant and hardworking woman in a man's world. I don't know where this came from…but the chances of meeting a man who I think would make a good father are so slim so for now it's just a fever dream.
I've never liked children but playing Sims 4 made me change my mind a little bit. It's silly but my Sim was a career woman (this is mostly roleplay so don't judge) who had an oopsie baby and ended up having a baby girl as a single mom and honestly it's really cute having a little baby following you around.
I know video games != reality, but it made me think about how much better off I'd be with a baby on my own.
I'm in the same boat anons, I too wonder what kind of positive impact I would have on a little girl and if she'd turn out better than me. I'm just so scared of men. I'd hate to repeat my mother's mistakes with me and introduce horrible men into my children's life, or have their father figure absent. All because men are less likely to have their shit together these days.
I'm waiting to suss out a better reason to have children, but it just never gets better.
Religious people are lucky, the burden of questioning if having children is selfish is at least taken off their shoulders when their religion says it's duty or a deity's will. Ignorance must feel really nice.
Lol not really.
Try dating a guy who's 5'5 but is convinced he's 6'
It is. I think the average is 5'9.
I consider any guy under 5'5 to be entering manlet territory.
Admitting preferences doesn't necessarily betray a spite against all men.
Why should men be the only ones who get to reject someone based on looks? They're constantly harping on women about tit, ass, and waist sizes. Not to mention the Goldilocks wankery over women being too tall or too short for men.
Doesn't bother me none when women aren't polite about what they want.
I never said anything about preferences
I just think the term manlet is a bit condescending especially when applied to normal height men. Bit like how women are sometimes called fat for being fairly average too. Applying terms to normal/average bodies to make out like they're not normal or average is strange
This convo reminds me of r/smalldickproblems where alot of the posters are barely 5 inches long and men who have an actual 2 inch dick feel insulted by the 5 inch posters. Welcome to the time where men are the ones measuring themselves and feeling like shit
They also seem to judge each other harsher than women are judging them
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i've killed multiple frogs when i was a kid. frogs are cute and harmless, i don't know why i did that.
>>456256>only 5 inches Only?!
Lmao, that's still like a head taller than you, anon.
I will never get why women brag about dating somebody slightly below average when they themselves are short as well. You're not charitable, try again when you really date somebody who's shorter than you lol
But I've saved a lot of them so I hope it balances out a little loltho I know why I did it, I had a shit ton of rage inside me since I was constantly bullied and neglected, but still not a good excuse
Her body is not a charity you triggered
I'm saying this as a tall woman who constantly gets told 'why don't you just date short men' by short women, referencing situations like above. 5'8 is not short at all for the average woman. You're out here acting like guys this height are freaks and you're brave for being with them. At the end of the day you're still just a couple in which she is a good portion shorter than him, nothing extraordinary. I'd kill to get a guy who's only
5 inches taller than I am
A lot of people spoiler confessions.
And to answer your leading question, no, I'm not the newfag in the other thread spoiling pointless posts.
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Because they are all overweight and a small height makes fatness look much worse.
CSA stuff, spoilering in case
Does it make me a bad person that only artistic depictions or discussions of CSA that have to do with my specific experience really gets to me?
I don't really feel anything when I read or see something about CSA. I automatically detach myself enough from it to not be hurt. I believe that they're wrong, but loli and shota don't really make me feel much on a personal level, either.
However, anything that hits too close to home on what happened to me, even if it's not glamorizing it, makes me feel violated on a mental level.
I hate any porn about it, I hate music about it, I hate when it's a plot point in anything. I avoid it all. I don't care if it's depicting the person who did it as bad, I just can't tolerate it. It touches on memories and feelings my mind has mercifully repressed for good reason, and makes me sick. I just get so angry and feel like I've been made unclean.
I feel guilty that I'm so numb to other depictions. I obviously still feel empathy for other victims, but it's like my empathy doesn't stretch far enough. Could it mean my trauma is fake or something?
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Sooooooo, I created 1,875 email accounts so I could win one of those ‘whoever refers the most people’ wins contests. I ACTUALLY won and they said they’d email me with instructions in 7 business days it’s been 9 busniness days and no reply.
Tfw when you waste hours of your life doing nonsense and don’t even get the reward you were promised…
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Oops, here’s the pic
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Recently, I met a guy and I like him so much that I lied to him about being in college when in reality I’m a LOSER NEET. I’m trying to find a job asap and say I dropped out and work now so I can see him long term without him finding out I’m a liar.
It's better to be a college dropout than just saying you never went…?
Is that how that really works? Lmao.
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I always wanted to see them get togheter in the series. They were my lesbian awakening.
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I always bully every fakeboi that i cross on tumblr but actually i think they're really, really cute (specially those "deku" girls) and i would unironically date or fuck them, i wish i had a manic, awkward tomboyish weeby gf like them (i know most are straight since they're are fujoshits but still). It makes me laugh how most people think they are super cringy and here i am, searching "trans boi", "mlm" and shit on tumblr lmao.
I wish two things
1. That they weren't fujoshi "mlm", just tomboyish bi girls who like yaoi
2. That actual men looked like them, and were also attracted to women
I just want to date a cute twinkish person. Is that too much to ask?
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I'm having a full blown affair with a former professor nearly 30 years older than me (and no, it didn't start when I was his student). We're legitimately in love, which I understand sounds outlandish given the perceived power dynamic, but we are. I feel comfortable saying that because the affair has gone on for two years now and we've regularly discussed how ridiculous the entire situation is.
It wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that he's married with fairly young kids. Oops.
As we've discussed, I don't expect him to leave his wife, and I'm not putting anything in my life on hold for him. We're just fucking crazy about each other and it's a strange sensation. We text all day, see each other every couple of weeks, have dinner, fuck, and talk. Maybe I should feel bad, but I don't. >>457583
No comment on the radfem portion of your post, but I also hate fatties and feel compelled to keep it to myself.
I understand that perspective, but about half a year in, he told me he was going to get a divorce. I convinced him to not leave his wife for the sake of his kids.
Does that make me retarded? I don't know. Probably.
Perhaps you're right that he doesn't love me. I know he hasn't slept with his wife in over six months, but perhaps he's lying. It's a disastrous situation for him. I'm culpable, too, but I'm not cheating on anyone.
So you just want to be part of a homewrecking couple? Wow so much better.
His wife and kid deserve better than either of you being part of their life.
The meme is funny, and I don't blame you at all for finding it gross and/or weird, but I don't have any daddy issues. My dad's always been a great dad and present in my life. I've also never dated anyone more than ~4 years older than me, so I don't really even think I have an old man fetish…(?). I think he's incredibly attractive but I do realize that's entirely subjective.>>457658
Serious question: do you think it's better for his wife to have a stable family with the kids (while not knowing he's cheating), or is it just better him to leave? I will genuinely take your advice to heart because I haven't told anyone IRL about this. Thanks in advance.
It’s better to stop allowing yourself to be used by an older man as a sex toy and stop telling yourself that this is love.
His wife and child deserve better than him because he’s a scumbag.
Leave him, learn to value yourself more, and find love with someone who won’t keep you a dirty secret.
stupid cunt you aren't if you are fucking a married man
Imagine being the wife giving birth to children, working your ass off after your body is destroyed and a stupid retarded imageboard poster is bragging about fucking your husband who has been fooling around for years while you lost time and money to have his spawn.
This seriously made me a radfem and to never have children holy shit.
Yikes. I'm not stupid nor bragging– just getting something off my chest. I'm surprised by the anger but to each their own, I guess. I understand. >>457682
I wish I were making this up, but I do realize there's no feasible way to prove that, hah.
You make a very good point about being swept up in the wrongness. You mean it's like a forbidden fruit thing? It's wrong to do it, so it's exciting. Huh. It's difficult to imagine ever being bored with him but you're most certainly right.
I'll report back when/if things change. I appreciate the responses.
That might be the most selfish thing I’ve ever read on here.
You didn’t think it might hurt his wife and kid? You were okay with being part of this as long as his wife didn’t find out about you? Never mind all the sleazy, sneaky “he should be tucking his kids into bed not fucking me right now” shit you chose to partake in?
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I enjoy media with anthropomorphic characters, but I fucking despise furries. So I'm really wary of sharing what media I like so I won't be associated with them. Same with liking anime. Why do weirdo creeps have to ruin innocent cartoons? I just want to enjoy my damn cartoons without being associated with perverts! Also I pray every furry dies in a fire. Amen.
I feel for you anon. I have a knee-jerk reaction to furries but the characters that don’t look like Beatrix Potter illustrations and I’ve come across foreign artists who draw that kind of thing and it isn’t weird and sexual. I liiked anime since my childhood but if I were introducing myself to people I won’t mention it for that reason among others.>>457683>>457680
Yeah, imagine finally feeling secure and safe enough with the man you’ve chosen to build a life with only to be cheated on when the kids can barely walk. End it for everyone’s sake. You’d really do this to another woman? My dad cheated on my mom and while she always stayed strong about it, I always felt as if we did something wrong or weren’t loveable enough if he wanted to be with this total stranger more than me. ‘Best’ case scenario (for your selfish asses), that professor leaves his wife and young kids, those kids will grow up knowing a pillar is missing in their lives. And I don’t even want to imagine the pain the wife would feel. I think you owe it to all women not to stoop to the level of a man who cheats, you have the choice to be better than that.
Anon, I don't take the stance that you gotta be the champion of women and save cheating men from themselves. I don't care that you're selfish.
I prefer to see this in relation to how this benefits you, and I don't see how you win in the long term. This sort of relationship cannot last, and it's not fair to waste your prime on a man who's gonna treat you like a dirty secret.
He was never going to divorce his wife, he used that to test the waters with you and now he doesn't have the pretense to carry on with it now when you made it clear you'd stay anyway. He intends to keep you as a side until the need arises to dispose of your relationship.
You lose while he wins. And what does he win? A family with a doting wife and child while bagging you as his young lay.
Don't worry about this man. If not you, then someone else. Such is the nature of a male cheater. In fact, you probably can't even be sure he doesn't have other former students on the line!
Be fair to yourself and find you a man who will make you his priority. Two years wasted with this schlock is long enough.
Yeah, i liked Blacksad a lot, i don't even recommend it irl because i know i will be called a furfag as soon as the other person sees an anthropomorfic cat.
And i like a lot of Anime too, but hate moeshit, so the same applies. I think all furries and lolicons should automatically go on lists.
Funny thing, i was reading Blacksad on one of those online comic book sites a while ago and all the comments were a furfag sperging with big chunks of text about the female characters not looking like how he thinks the perfect furry waifu should look, and then pasting links to examples of terrible sameface hentai furry art he liked and insulting the authors. Yeah, this dude was mad that a Disney illustrator who is not a furfag drew female characters too correctly instead of Simba the lion but with big hooters. Disregard the actual story and artwork, it was all about his boner and his fetish, i would rather drown than ever be associated with these kind of sick people for any reason no matter how mild.
Sending a hug your way, anon. Thank you for this response: it made me cry because you've given me a lot to think about, and I know what I need to do. You're right. Under no circumstance do I "win" here.
God, fuck me. But again, a sincere thank you.
God I want to meet someone but maybe me being a loser NEET is a sign I shouldn’t be trying to date. But I’m not crazy and I also don’t think I should deprive myself of normal experiences just because I don’t feel good enough.
Then again I don’t want to the girl he brings home to his parents who see just a sad leech. Oh, who am I kidding, guys these days don’t give a fuck about what their parents think, do they?
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Since you're not saying I'm assuming you're describing Howard DeVille from Rugrats…. ugh, get it together.
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>>458190>repugnant fictional character>everyone hates him
omg its Mineta isn't it?
I literally spent my whole day on this hellsite. I could have watching so many things instead of being shitposter of the day on the slowest image board in existence>>458212>maybe I watched too much of the Amanda show as a girl.
I left a very inflamatory comment on an artist's from my country first ever youtube video using a blank youtube account i have, he must have seen it because it was like one of the first comments that he ever got there when he first uploaded it and it took a while for his yt account to catch up despite he having a ton of followers on instagram and fb. He is an incredibly popular artist and works on AAA games and i rip him a new one and insulted his art and him pretty badly and very personally because i know stuff about him from sharing the same local community.
I was just very frustated because he is younger and from the same place as me but a lot more privileged financially and hard working so he could go to the first world and become more renowned while i was stuck here working for pennies and without even a family. Its not fair to behave like i did or think that way and it came from jealously and calousness. I deleted it like 2 days letter but i felt bad about it and is one of those things that haunt me, i would really die if somehow he knew it was me. He also knows all the popular artists there are so thats an end to my fucking career before even starting.>>458331
Thats super fitting for that character actually. He is like a self insert for perverts who like fan service, its like the worst anime character ever created.
You're not alone sis >>303056
hope you're ok and know kids never deserve that shit
This has me curious, I've always enjoyed the sound of porn way more than the sight of it, but then the acting is so bad it doesn't sound right or guys are practically silent the whole way through
How do I find this guy?
odd anecdote but horikoshi (the mangaka) confirmed on twitter that mineta is a self insert of himself
don't know if that makes the design better or worse, it just made me feel icky about the dude since
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I am so terrified I will never ever feel as alive as when I was in an abusive relationship.
He completely destroyed me, but I still miss him from time to time and I've never loved anyone as much as I loved him.
I am in a happy and normal relationship and I know that it's wonderful to me. Why the fuck do I crave the highs and lows and feeling like an obsessed person with bpd. I am so disgusted with myself.
I feel like I will never stop loving him, cause every few years I get flooded with flashbacks and feelings
>>458968>Why the fuck do I crave the highs and lows
The heady cocktail of brain chemicals released in stressful situations act the same as any drug, over time a pattern of addiction is carved out in your brain because there is comfort in what we're used to. You can break these patterns over time but it's helpful to consider this chemical aspect as a valid
obstacle. Consider looking into cbt, either counseling or alone.
It's also possible that you have a separate issue with your current partner, maybe whilst he's safe and nice for you there might just be something else missing and so you're romanticising the past and the devil you already know instead of risking going out into the world and facing a new partner. Or maybe he's perfect and it's really just that you aren't comfortable allowing yourself to feel happy. Try talking through it with him if you can, a good partner is someone we can open up to. Good luck anon, it's nice to see a ASofterWorld comic here.
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Dude must hate himself to insert himself like that, Mineta is probably the most universally disliked anime character ever created, not even scrotes like Mineta. And its odd coming from a series with a big cast of generally well liked characters.>>459288>It's like a hobo telling you he hates you beacuse you're richer than him and he wishes you'd give him some money oh and homeowners are fat. It's just sad.
So the incels are the communists of sex and romance, its a good way of putting it actually.
I feel better about myself knowing that I could be severely depressed and on my ass not studying and still do on-par or better
in muh manly STEM classes compared to them. No special treatment like they believe we get, just better than them. It's a specific bragging thing but I love knowing that these stupid men are below me, but that they obsess about how stupid women are, no better way to make them really triggered
than to be better than them. I still get really angry about some misogynistic shit, but when I think of it this way, I can just be a total bitch and laugh at them. It's a good coping strategy.
They'll come up with reasons or excuses or deny it, but they know in their hearts that women like me are smarter than them, and not only that, I'm pretty too, so I've got both. There are so many other women like me too, some even better than I am. We're better than you and you can either shape up or shut up.
Get fucked, keep obsessing.
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My family has stopped talking to me I assume, because they feel bad about not visiting my (young) father who now has to live in a nursing home.
i'm wondering what would happen to the userbase if making youtube money wasnt an option anymore
also the drama would be fun
It’ll happen eventually, there’s no way you can sustain the influencer industry infinitely as normal people are more cognizant of the fact that they’re shills.
But I also want to see that dumpster fire of drama as very few of them have any backup plans and seem to assume that they can run the money train into the ground. Top kek.
I'm low key jealous of adult children who have dead parents. Not over the parents who were genuinely good to their children, that's just tragic, but the shitty parents who never did any real good for their offspring.
They must be sad because the death of a shitty parent means no more hope for their redemption, but at the same time, how liberating that must feel to be rid of them.
It would be so much easier to say my asshole parents are dead. Instead, if I dare be truthful of the situation it's always a gamble as to whether the person I explained it to will understand my reasons for why I don't have contact with them. Or they do that annoying thing where they insist I have to keep a relationship with my horrible family because of dna and magnets and shit.
People who come from functional homes with healthy parental relationships almost never understand the flawed family. They don't know someone like me will never get closure, because my parents have never grown or have been genuinely sorry. Healthy people think anger comes from things like an argument or a disappointment, because they cannot fathom a lifetime of repeated toxic behaviors that never amend themselves despite numerous forgivenesses and appeasements from child towards the parent.
They'll struggle to understand the irreparable harm a bad parent does, even if the neglect isn't necessarily physical, and how that can fuck up someone's self-worth and future relationships for life.
I won't take delight, but it'll free my conscience to know that once dead my parents will never be able to harm another human in any capacity ever again.
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i'm in anorexia program but they leave the kitchen food unlocked and i've been taking bananas and jars of nutella/peanut butter and eat by spoon. i feel ravenous and can't stop thinking about taking food. they caught me downing a box of ensures and said they can't treat me if i'm sneaking off to eat.
I'm assuming it's because of the sneaky part. While they do want her to eat, they probably don't want her to get into the habit of sneaking around at night to do secret binges. It also fucks with their inventory and any notes that a nurse may have on anon's daily intake, which is essential for tracking her progress through the program.
Not that I can blame >>460107
. I'm definitely a ravenous night snacker too, though it's not a great habit to pick up when the goal is to unlearn disordered behaviors.
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I love watching this acquaintance of mine sperg out on social media.The other day they were bragging about how unproblematic~ their main fandom was and now that it's hit peak popularity it's all going down hill.
Watching her meltdown over some shitty show is both hilarious and sad.
I could never abandon her.. unless it was for her best interest and I've gone nuts or something. T
Anyway thanks for kind of allieviating some guilt.
On the topic of her teeth, she's always eaten tons of timothy hay, which I previously read as being suffienr to wear her teeth. Apparently it isn't.
Issue is, she just isn't a chewer. I've given her a variety of chew toys and apple tree sticks but none of that interests her. She likes food and exploration. I didn't realize something was wrong until the vet noticed her back molars weren't wearing well enough and he told us it'll become a problem if not trimmed. After realizing her need to chew stuff besides hay, I've been looking into creative ways to get her to chew. My bf is thinking of drilling into tiny squares of wood and putting a tiny bit of food inside to get her to chew. She's really food motivated so that's my best idea. I also switched her from 2nd cut timothy to 1st. She didn't like it as much, but she ate it and I think it has more fiber.
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The cancel culture thread reminded me of that one time when some tumblrite SJW disaster was trying to start a lynch mob against me (and some other people) for the usual trivial bullshit. So I posted her to a 4chan board I frequented and she ended up deleting all her accounts after being attacked by a flood of anons making fun of her ass.
I don't feel bad about it at all. Fuck cancel culture, let them have a bit of their own medicine.
Retard was never acceptable to me but I really miss calling people insane, or demented, or mad or any of those other words that you should be able to use when someone does something totally outside the sphere of logical thinking.
What else are we supposed to say?! My neurotypical ableist scum-self is literally lost for words.
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I find this version of Link very cute for some reason
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After group therapy, hearing stories of the terrible people in other's lives, I no longer feel guilt cutting out others immediately from mine. I'd rather focus on my studies… maybe tend to some plants, read a book, play my violin. I don't feel the need to get good at them anymore, or feeling guilt for being "unproductive" because of it. My requirements are to have a roof over my head, food on the table, and health coverage. All else is secondary.
I'm finally admitting to myself I like being alone, and a traditional life is unappealing to me. It seems like unnecessary stress. Why would I trade peace and quiet, for a narcissistic husband who compares me to e-thots, screaming and pooping children (as much as I love them) who wake me up in the middle of the night, getting a degree while taking care of the household and working longer hours to pay for the bigger place that roofs said family, cleaning for at least 2 additional people, and then some? More bills to keep up with, educating the children (from ABC all the way to calculus for 18 years), feeding them (making time to cook on top of working and cleaning, trying new recipes they may not like and hear screaming, figure out the nutrition for their age so they grow healthy and are sick less often), staying up to date with their insurance/dental/vaccinations…, etc. Honestly, fuck the men who tried to guilt me into this and saying it's not that much work. A mother's labor often goes unappreciated or even demonized. Thank you to all the women before me who fought for my right to pull away from the monotony. I will be enjoying my new freedom. Let the scrotes REEEEEEE.
I identified as FTM a few years ago, spent nearly a year on T and just as I started to get 'he'd' by strangers and directed to male changing rooms etc.. I realised it wasn't right. I think a good deal of FTMs are women desperate to avoid men sexualising us and putting us down
Years later I just do what I want, I'm 30 and don't tell people about the trans-years cos I realised I can have short hair, hairy legs, mens clothing and all the things I had before without a whole transformation and nobody cares. I see alot of women in their 20s struggling with the same and it's that 'men are treating me like shit and people are constantly judging my appearance' thing that fuels it
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Very well said, anon. I agree and wish you the best of luck. May we enjoy peace and quiet for the rest of our lives.
God anon, I felt that post. Good for you for reaching that blissful stage. I'm myself getting there, I just need to get rid of the unproductiveness guilt.
For my confession: I think it's very important to be aware of what's going on in the world and be involved in your country's politics. However, I've recently deleted all of my accesses to news (reddit, TV, news sites feeds, etc.) and am actively avoiding hearing about it. That is because I reached peak anxiety with the combo of HK protests and the Amazonian fires. I just can't bear to see the world tear itself apart because of greed and pride, and therefore have become what I've always despised: an uninformed idiot. If that's the price of my peace of mind, so be it.
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Thank you frens.
If it makes you feel better second anon, I've stopped using news outlets since 2013 and only get news from imageboards and memes now, if I happen to come across them. My mental health has been better for it. You're not missing out; that's what news outlets are banking on… rage and FOMO. Most "news" is bait and/or extremely biased. Anything important, you're bound to come across through in some other form because it will eventually spread. There's lots of news you've never been informed of that you probably should, but will never know because mainstream news outlets filtered it out from their reports and it is lost to history.
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I voted for Trump and would again tbh. I still tell people i work with that i vote Liberal because i know they'll start sperging and acting deranged about it.
Tbh there's people out there who figure the current political system can't touch their personal lives for whatever reason, and so they choose to vote for a figure who hurts their most disliked out group the most as a form of entertainment and tribal validation.
For some people life is truly a game.
>>460954>he acts clinically retarded
Trump may present himself like a crazy old coot but democrats are the ones who have become clinically retarded and i would not want one getting into office in their current state. I would probably have supported Hillary on a different context but her party became a trojan horse so i preferred not to have her in office if it meant not having her cabinet of nutjobs as well.
Smugness and condescending like >>460960
really won't get help your cause you know. Its particularly ironic to talk about tribalism when the identity politics and intersectionality narrative the left has been pushing is exactly that, petty tribalism. Maybe understand how you are fucking up instead of doubling down on everything that drove people away and screaming about muh Bernie, muh Ilhan Omar, Muh AOC because you are only dividing your own faction more and if these are the bright "new" faces of the Democratic Party you are in for more of the same outcomes in the next few years.
dude chill, i just said he acts
clinically retarded and wanted to know anon's reason. not sure if you think i'm a different anon or what though, i'm not.
>>460973>smug and condescending >even though my statement didn't even mention where I stand in politics>assume I stan democrats
I want the politician that's going to toss my ridiculous student debt and make it possible for me to see a doctor. Just like the rich want a politician that's going to enable their tax evasions and keeping minimum wage workers under their thumbs.
Everyone stans their interests, not necessarily the political party behind them.
Voting for a politician just to piss people off is awful smug in itself so I don't really know where you get off.
Big news through memes sounds manageable, I can't 100% avoid it anyway. It's been only two weeks since the change but I feel much less despair, negativity and stress already. I've also gained time that I'm using to read books I like instead of books I think I should read.
(I would like to add that I love you and I love your gifs, anon. Cheers to a simple, peaceful life. I just wish there were more people like you and >>460923
around me irl.)
>>460980>my ridiculous student debt and make it possible for me to see a doctor.
If you had chosen a different career path other than going for that gender studies phd maybe you could get employable and you could pay for your own insurance. That is really not the tax payer's fault.
I lived in two other countries in my youth, if you think America is a dumpster fire, oh boy, if you only know how much of a circus the social security system of other countries can be.. America already has too much wellfare and regulations distorting costs in health and education but some people insist on adding more deficit and more fuel to the fire because "me, me, me, it should be free for me"
>>461038> If you had chosen a different career path other than going for that gender studies phd
Do we have an influx of 50yo boomers posting here now or what? Where did that anon say she did gender studies? She only implied that it's natural to vote for politicians that will act in your interest. Maybe get new glasses for reading comprehension, gramps.
Also, don't get me started on how many free handouts the big corps get in the USA on the expense of taxpayer's money but that's okay, right.
>>461038>If you had chosen a different career path
People who chose the "right" career paths also don't deserve the financial rape that is student debt. It should be shameful to fund rich college administrators who build sport stadiums that make them richer while actual workhorse roles that make the money like professors and adjuncts go underpaid.
Also I've never met a person in the United States, rich or otherwise, who thought insurance premiums were well-adjusted and got adequate care for their buck.
This isn't about poor people or how you don't think humanities matter, this is common sense and not shooting yourself in the foot to spite some people you don't like.
>>461047>to spite some people you don't like.>OMG trump is killing trooons, concentration caaaaamps.>"You should shoot yourself in the foot by voting for MY party to piss off people that I don't like"
this is cyclical logic anon. Just deal with the fact that many people have their own opinions and ways of looking at issues, its not about "owning the libtards epic style">>461044>it's natural to vote for politicians that will act in your interest.
Exactly, and i don't agree Democrats are doing that, i don't agree with their current policies, so i didn't vote for them.
Don't plan to derail further, the fact that people get so outraged is why i don't even say anything irl.
I'm noticing your posting style of arguing shit that no one else ever said or quoted.>lefty democrats, Bernie, Omar, AOC>gender studies phd>social security in other unnamed countries is super bad tho>trannies>concentration camps
Trump is still the most retarded choice.
I'd never sperg out at a Trump voter irl, but I will note that my friends who voted Trump come from very isolated lifestyles and never had secondary education.
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please be a scrot. this is so embarrassing. the way you think is so reminiscent of their yeasty-balled politically illiterate bratty nihilism, i cant deal. allegedly you lived in 2 other countries that were worse off, but you agree life "is a game for you". just don't vote if you're this much of a nihilistic retard
>>461157>but you agree life "is a game for you"
when? you are quoting someone else on this bs.
>politically illiterate bratty nihilism
Funny, that's exactly how i would describe the left.
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>>461158>when? you are quoting someone else on this bs
oh ok sure it's another dumbass then
>Funny, that's exactly how i would describe the left.
you voted for a man that believes climate change is a chinese hoax and has no idea how tariffs work, but the left is politically illiterate? you really expect me to believe this? you're defending a party that's trying to not only prevent any action on climate change, but is trying to accelerate climate change. you believe there are too many regulations. you know why we write regulations into law? to protect people. the right tries to completely remove consumer protections, labor protections, environmental protections, constantly, but you think because kids on tumblr are annoying… the right is preferable? hillary clinton was a crap candidate but the majority of ire against her stemmed from a 20+ year long campaign against her after she tried to push for universal healthcare. she was the perfect bland and pushy harpy that men could hate. she was just another hawkish neolib, but at least the left is pliable if they're pressured enough, where the right isn't. democratic foreign policy can be changed with enough outrage, while no policy, in any realm, can be affected by outrage when the right is in power. we have a social safety net to also protect people. there's nothing nihilistic about protecting people. you are the spoiled nihilist, maga-chan. you just don't give a shit and think it's funny to vote a 'memelord' television personality into office, and it's especially pathetic that you don't even have the cojones to face the consequences irl for being an embarrassment and instead choose to lie to everyone. at least own your shit, you coward. and you're wrong about the justice democrats, they're rapidly shifting the overton window so we'd at least be on par with less retarded nations that offer basic protections to their citizens.
people on this board don't even believe in gender studies bullshit and we criticize the left from the left plenty. 20 something twitter anarchists or mlists are morons, no one in the real world is listening to them. do your homework before trying to integrate.>>461184
literally so embarrassing, and like, do they really think no one is going to call them out or recognize that they're lying and/or wrong?
What this anon >>460901
said, basically. I also work in the IT field. My coworkers are all men who frequently make sexist remarks at my expense that I have to ignore for the sake of peace. My boss looks at me as a child and doesn't listen to a single word I say. I just feel like I never fit in anywhere because men always find the need to draw attention to my tits and reproductive capabilities. I know it's not a huge problem, I have food to eat and water to drink and a home, so I try not to focus on it but I'd like to have just one day where my boss doesn't tell me that I need to get knocked up and find a husband because I'm wasting my youth by not birthing a man's child.
Isn't smoking illegal at petrol stations, because of the risk of fire? Seems like the opposite place to go smoke
I hate being around smoke top but as long as you're not dropping your butts then I don't get how someone felt they could chase you off a street for it
Fuck anon, I'm finishing my IT degree soon and I'm scared this is going to be my work life. I'm hesitating between not caring if nobody takes me seriously and being a cold bitch to force respect. I'm naturally bubbly so I guess the choice has already been made for me.
Small confession so my post isn't 100% useless: I lied to a long time friend so I didn't have to travel across the border to meet them because I'm tired of always being the one covering the distance and they're so fucking negative it drains me.
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I daydream a lot about making my friends and family really cute food.
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I act like I'm above the high that social media can give but I'm just as bad. After I post something I usually keep it pulled up and watch the likes and comments steadily roll in. I think it's alright for the most part; I have other redeeming qualities that can age with me. But as long as I'm young and kind of pretty now, I want to enjoy myself how I can.
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I pretend i am more permissive than i really am when getting to know people, specially potential romantic partners just to test them and see if they fuck up, if they do i cancel them and swiftly remove them from my life before getting more attached. Good people don't take advantage of others just because they seem more vulnerable or open to it.
If you pretend you are a "cool girl" early on they'll also be more open to tell you about their creepy fetishes, their red flags, problematic behaviour and views because they think they finally found someone they can be truthful instead of just lying about them, then i can banhammer them with zero regrets.
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I had a huge crush on Laineybot when I was 15 and definitely snapchatted her a few nudes… she opened them but didn’t reply. I can’t help but still have a crush on her from this era, why’d she have to be a pedo?
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I genuinely actively tried to hit on Social Repose a little after the Jaclyn drama because we lived in the same state at the time and I was semi thirsty/obsessed with his music/thought he might pick me because I was young and kinda alt. He curved me a little but replied to me for a while (nothing special) I sent him nudes on IG, he read and didn’t respond and I unfollowed him after that. Sad.
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Pic related… I sent him some mushy messages for a while and he replied pretty generally, curving pretty hard. Those pics were nudes. Yikes.
I do this so guys will tell me their sexual pasts without holding back, the amount that have fucked a guy one time or hooked up with a crossdresser for a while.. and they're always like "you're the only person I've ever told"
And then I dip lol
>>454715>>456294>mfw I also had similar experiences to these posts
I was also easily pissed off and would do stuff with my stuffed animals.
Looking back on it now as an adult, my behavior was kinda strange. I’m wondering if maybe something bad did happen to me as a child and I just repressed it oof
I'm catholic raised. 30 years old, been getting off to all-female porn daily since I was 16 but dated men my whole life (was even married for a few years) with lots of dry patches in our sex life
Everybody knows I'm gay but I'm still hiding it for some unknown reason
Unironically this. >>462020
If it'll give you peace, send him a final message asking him what he thinks of you and if he plans to ever be serious with you. If he doesn't reciprocate, block him. No shame, that's just life.
Everyone's different anon, although most women I know, from my experience, find it uncomfortable, you just might be one of the lucky ones. I personally don't feel anything at all down there. Not pleasant or painful, like picking your nose, lmao.
. I was just a booty call for a guy who told me he would consider getting serious with me after I put out… I refused and he ghosted. Don't ask him, 99.9% of men approach when they want a relationship with you. I'm sorry. You'll find someone else, if that's what you want.>>462051>20
Yikes. If you were 14, I could kind of understand the autism. We're not bright when we feel our first hormones, but jesus fuck anon. I can't believe you can vote.
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Social Repose anon here… I deserve the shaming… sad to report I’ve been listening to his music today and have concluded I shamefully would probably still fuck. He has the voice of an angel and I like his blonde and silver hair.
Sorry for Boomer posting, but it's hard to believe people were getting married and managing a household at 19, but now everyone's running around throwing tiddie pics to strangers at the same age.
This belongs in the conspiracy thread, but the water is turning the freakin' frogs gay.
>>462317>Sorry for Boomer posting, but it's hard to believe people were getting married and managing a household at 19, but now everyone's running around throwing tiddie pics to strangers at the same age.
um, they weren't. they were mostly highly dysfunctional because they were children that sacrificed their development as people, as humans, to become parents, as soon as possible? they were abusive
husbands a lot of the time? if they weren't abusive
, they were shells of people, being that many of the mothers were literal adolescents living under the thumb of their abusive
husbands, and/or the husbands were adolescents themselves, too. 19 is literal neurobiological adolescence. we know that now.
anyone that pretends -that- was ideal or normal and that now everyone is just immature, is a fantasist. young people were not capable of generally shouldering those burdens then, either, they coped through violence, emotional abuse, substance dependency, a lot killed themselves, etc, and generally when people say this they hark back to the 50s or 60s america when things were a lot more economically favorable and a more positive outlook for young people, so imagine if they had to cope with those responsibilities and the economic situation and general outlook young people have today. yikes.
Having a baby with someone at 21 is risky though, anyone I know who did that is now 30 and they hate their ex husbands guts
I got married at 22, I was single at 25
I agree with >>462334
. The house thing I can understand, but what's so great about being pregnant so young?
If I got pregnant at 21, I would have never been able to balance motherhood with going to college. Or taking my dream vacation at 26. I'd be scared shitless of men my age being unable to commit and putting my child through a nasty custody situation like I had to go through when I was little. I wouldn't have been able to hang out with my friends like the way I did, and plan things spontaneously.
Even now at 27 going on 28 there's so much I could learn in order to be a better future parent. At 21 I was so emotionally immature and I can't imagine the damage I would have inflicted onto a small child looking to me for nurturing and guidance.
Women are still fertile in their 30s, and it gives me great relief that if a child is what I want, then I have this nebulous time frame in the future so I can prepare myself adequately. NOT feel bad that I didn't pop one out by 29.
Sometimes slow wins the race, anon.
I don't know if the house part even sounds good if it's a mortgage and shared with a 21 year old hubby
She might be lucky, or she might have issues like a divorce, a custody battle, losing the house. It's a big gamble at that age
Depends on where you live. Right now I am absolutely wasting my money renting out an apartment, the problem is I don't have $20-30k saved up to put down for a house where I'll have a reasonable mortgage that's less than the ridiculous rent around here. I dream of my own space, and I don't mind dirty work like maintenance and general upkeep.
I really envy people who can get a house that young because they probably are saving money. But yeah, that's absolutely threatened by a young relationship that may be prone to a divorce and liquidation of that asset anyway.
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I don’t even wanna talk about it…
yeah me too
I've been harassed by a minor cow on here but her thread is dead, she basically disappeared from all relevancy, and I spilled all the dirt I have on her so she's been effectively shamed into nonexistence. I kind of feel like a cow myself for doing it but at the same time she was pretty unforgivable and cringey and she deserved it, so I'm kind of hoping that her disappearing means she's getting her shit together but I wouldnt bet on it. I'll wholly admit that I was also a massive cow in my teen years and I deleted almost all my tracks on sites particularly tumblr from that timeframe because I was so ashamed of them and bombed all traces of those accounts around 2014-2015 to avoid ever having to associate with my younger self again.
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I hate Troons but I’d actually fuck this one and I’m not sure if I now need therapy
/dude from soc
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I’m obsessed with a guy I met on summer camp in 2012, I can’t even remember his name but I haven’t stopped thinking about him for some reason after having a dream about him.
well at least that makes sense>>462573oof
this is relatable, I still think of this guy I had a crush on that I haven't seen in years wondering if he's "the one"
Having been in abusive
relationships too I think the ultimate power is in not even bothering with men. Any time you hurt their ego they will inevitably take that anger out on the next girl after it festers in their head
Congrats of getting out of hell after three years though, I had a similar length in relationship-hell and was really about to lose my mind at the three year mark
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at this point in my life last year i was very anti sex, drugs, drinking, reckless behavior in general. i was a virgin, i was kind of unhappy in a long term LDR.
fast forward to july, i cheated on him with a guy on tinder, broke up with him & started fucking 2 guys from tinder and 2 guys from 4chan. we hung out for the first time in months yesterday and we had sex. it was terrible because well, he is inexperienced and i'm used to guys with a lot of experience. i was really high so i told him after that i didn't enjoy it at all, and didn't want to do it again. we cried for two hours about the broken relationship in general and he insists everything is fine and he has accepted it but he wants to still try to hang out with me. we did go through a lot together.
it hurt so fucking much when he hugged me and i couldn't hug back, i just sat and stared at my wall in horror, wanting to sob or scream out of frustration. it hurt to see him laughing and smiling through the tears. but i am so over him. it feels like god is laughing at me, like i'm such a stupid girl for thinking men won't get emotionally impacted or jealous when i have sex with them and other guys, or feel hurt from rejection. i knew before i started doing this it wouldnt be a good idea but i get a rush out of doing things i know i shouldnt. i always wondered why people hated being an adult but now i see why it really sucks sometimes. now i'm over "spinning plates", i don't want to be in a relationship, at least i don't think i do.
i have a horrible thing for one situation i put myself in, in particular. i met up with a /pol/tard 15 years older than me and i think the reason i'm so infatuated with him in general is because i know i shouldn't like him so much. i dont know why i get a rush out of putting myself into bad situations. i used to be bored and depressed but now i just feel overwhelmed and sad.
>>462724> i always wondered why people hated being an adult but now i see why it really sucks sometimes
nothing of what you described is adult behaviour, if anything you sound like a late bloomer as most people stop pulling shit like this at the end of hs/1st year of college/uni.
also it just sounds like you're self-harming in a way via risk seeking behaviour
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I downloaded every season of Steven Universe and have been watching it all day on my last day off before work but I can confess that I'm trash to you farmers, right.
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we are all trash here
Don't feel guilty anon. Even if your childhood wasn't overly traumatic, sometimes it's good to talk your shit out with a professional who can guide you onto a path of self-development. Plus, you can't compare one person's pain to another and say that one is more important than another. We are all suffering in different ways.
I had a sad childhood more than a majorly abusive
one, surrounded by a lot of people who had worse lives than me and it's taken a toll on my mental health. Just because you can't see the scars doesn't mean they are there.
it's pretty much an inherent part of compartmentalizing trauma to feel like you didn't have it "bad enough" to be struggling the way you are. i had a really fucked up childhood with an abusive
negligent drug addict mom who is a raging narc and thinks i'm a delusional liar to this day for remembering what she put me through (and continues to put me through). even people who were sexually trafficked or molested by a parent can feel like their trauma isn't "bad enough" to be worthy of help, or to justify how badly their trauma affects them in the current day. anyways, the reason i brought up my own upbringing is that i definitely had the kind of childhood abuse that people use to invalidate their own as "not that bad", and i think everyone with any type of trauma deserves help and doesn't have to justify the ways their trauma continues to affect them. everyone reacts to various traumas differently, i don't believe in discounting someone else's trauma as "not that bad". you deserve help and you do not need to reach a trauma yardstick to earn the right to struggle as you are now. sending love and validation your way, anon. as someone you might have compared your trauma to in order to self-invalidate if our paths ever crossed, you are allowed to struggle and seek help. you unequivocally deserved to have a healthy and loving childhood where your needs were met and your life was enriched by the love and care of your parents. every child deserves that. i have PTSD nightmares to this day about the horrible things i endured as a child and teenager, therapists have told me my childhood was objectively quite fucked, but i could always invalidate what happened to me by saying, "at least i'm not some young woman who endured FGM and other despicable horrors in a third world country somewhere as a child". someone always had it worse, that doesn't mean what happened to you was insignificant or that you're some crybaby for being affected by it as an adult. comparison is the enemy of self compassion.
NTA but thank you so much, kind anon.
I struggle alot with thinking that I didn't have it that bad and that a therapist might scoff at my trauma (some anons here have sort of confirmed my fears. On one hand I know they were judging me without knowing the whole story, but on the other it still validates my belief that I 'haven't earned' my right to have PTSD and be a trainwreck
It's nice to hear that I might be valid
and deserve to get help.
I am sorry for what you went through. I hope you are happy now and that lots of good things await for you.
I wish men were this thoughtful when it comes to age differences and questioning what is right
Your situation seems normal to me though, 18 and 22 isn't wrong. As you get more experienced you'll prob find yourself naturally drifting away from less experienced guys anyway
Anon I'm almost 23 and I have a crush on a 20 y/o and I feel like a total creep.
It's not that big of a difference but it still feels kinda wrong
But that would create even a small age difference, that other anon is so wary of.
A few years is nothing when you're an adult. It's all about where you are in life then.
I'm the 23 y/o anon and I don't like older men or women either lol. I wouldn't go for anybody older than 25.
Idk I thought about why I feel this way and I think it's because it makes me feel like one of those creepy men that hit on women younger than them. Like a college guy with a high school aged girlfriend
It sounds pretty stupid now that I typed it out
i'm that anon and i'm glad that your outlook is just not liking age gaps in general instead of the usual "the boy NEEDS to be older than the girl reeeEE" bs. but yeah, you are both in your early 20s, it is only 3 years, you would be in no way comparable to any of those male creeps, don't worry!>>463162
good, karma's a bitch, hope it brings you at least some peace. is there nothing you can do about it officially as well?
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i’m currently 9.2st/126lbs and chronically ill which makes exercise difficult but i do it anyway. i’ve become so desperate to lose weight that i’m considering making some kind of terrible decision that will make me so depressed and stressed that i lose the weight from stress alone so that i never have to worry about it anymore because i’m so fed up of hating myself and not ever being able to be happy with myself. i came back from spain with my family a few days ago and looked at pictures from the beach and i’ve been miserable since because i looked so awful. pls don’t be mean anons i know it’s retarded but i’ve been struggling so badly with my ed the past two or three years and i’m at a breaking point with it
it was a couple years ago and i would like to say i'm over it, but it still kind of fucks with me and made my already existing commitment issues worse.
but i think trying to do anything about it would just make things worse so i learned to live with it.
thinking about it as karma makes me feel better which is why i posted in the confessions thread. it's easy enough for people to say things like 'i wouldn't wish such and such upon my worst enemy' but honestly? i don't care. i want him to suffer like i have.
>>463207>i wouldn't wish such and such upon my worst enemy
I think only people who haven't had something legit horrible done to them say shit like that. not saying blindness is punishment by default ofc, but a predator becoming handicapped/dependant on others is almost poetic.
also if it is ok to ask, make things worse how?
i mean make my life more difficult, in a sense. my mum adored my ex and still mentions him and gives me life updates. she thought he was good for me because he had a lot of money, basically.
she's a huge narc and my dad enables her so anytime something relatively bad happens to me she HAS to be worse off somehow, so even the thought of bringing it up to her makes me wanna puke.
because it happened so long ago i'm not sure how i'd even go about doing anything, and i don't see any point now that it's done. his life seems to be going downhill so i'll just relish in the fact
I'm glad your ex is worse off too, hopefully that bad karma gets all the shitheads of the world too. I'm glad women live longer than men because there's a grave I want to live long enough to spit on myself, we don't have to be full of grace and forgiveness to everyone.
Maybe you need to find a way to embarrass your mum for bringing him up so much. Like try saying to her in front of your dad "why do you think x is so great about him when dad is instead y, what's so bad about y", or "why are you still taking about that guy after x years, did you fancy him or something?". Also present some other person for her to fixate on, tell her gossip about someone or pretend you're interested in them etc.
it's weird because right now i have a really great boyfriend who is sweet and patient and nothing like my ex, and she likes him fine enough but i don't think she hyperfixes on him the same because we're long distance, whereas my ex lives 5 minutes away.
but she's an entirely different story haha i've learned how to cope with her over the years
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I wish my parents had died while I was a newborn, than I could of been raised since infancy by my grandparents. I believe I would of turned out a lot more mentally stable, and happy. They were abusive to me since I was a baby, and it's really messed me up. I also wouldn't have a younger brother who I had to be a slave for and who was treated like the golden child while I was treated like shit. I'm still really messed up from all the years of abuse, and neglect. Being an orphan would of just been so much better for me.
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I think I have a persistent fungus (yeast?) in my belly button and it won't go the fuck away and stay gone.
It's so fucking embarrassing, I've never had to deal with a chronic stank issue before.
All the internet advice says to wash it and keep it dry, but I dunno, it just finds a way to get sweaty I guess and I don't notice it recurring until I'm chilling at night in my room and I start to smell something foul and it turns out it's my own fucking belly button.
Sometimes it goes away. What I've been doing is attacking it with rubbing alcohol and using a q tip to really get in there. After treating it for a week it seems to go away for a few days but then, BOOM. Right back to wondering if my belly button ghostrides at night when I'm asleep to store the corpses of the undead up in there.
I'm so fucking pissed. I have no insurance. This is such a disgusting problem to deal with by myself. I'm nervous that after a nice date out with my new bf, that we're gonna go back to our places for some hanky panky in the heat of the moment. With no time to do a smell check beforehand, while he's kissing me down from my breasts to my vulva, he's gonna get an accidental whiff of that belly stench and he's gonna die on me like a naked fish.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years while being open about it to everyone except for his family. I'm not of his race despite physically passing. His parents are the type of Asians who want marriages within their culture and have warned him to stay away from me back when we were still friends. Other relatives who defied tradition have apparently been disowned and had their partners harassed to high heaven. When things got more serious between us, he promised he'd tell his parents the truth once he graduated college and found a job so he could gain financial independence.
He's graduating next year so I tried talking about him moving in with me. The mood soured. His circumstances have changed drastically. Turns out the moment he turned eighteen he agreed to have around a few million dollars borrowed under his name in the guise of using it for his own business, despite the money being used for the family company instead. The dad's kind of a shithead who used the money on machinery that now lies at the back of their factory untouched. I'm not sure whether they filed for bankruptcy or renegotiated another deal, but the bank they loaned money from restructured the terms so they have a greater chance of paying the debt with higher penalties. The estimated time needed to clear his credit is six years.
In the meantime he says he can't risk his parents finding out about us. Otherwise he'll lose his chance to indemnify his name. I understand how difficult it must be and want to support him. On the other hand pretending I don't exist while he's on the phone with his mother and not being able to get to know his family sucks. Sticking with that slapstick routine for six more years seems like it would drag my self-esteem further down the drain. He's a diamond in the rough born into a shitty family. I want to stay with him for as long as I can. The few friends whom I've confided in for advice all say something along the lines of "Haha, don't know either," so I'm also at a loss for what to do or knowing whether I'm validated for feeling this way despite knowing it's harder on him.
When the advice says keep it dry, it means dry it throughout the day if necessary. It won’t go away until you keep it dry enough for no bacterial/fungal overgrowth.
You’re also supposed to maintain that, not do it for a week and leave it to get stanky again. Have you never treated anything before? Like, even a cold?
When the advice says keep it dry, it means dry it throughout the day if necessary. It won’t go away until you keep it dry enough for no bacterial/fungal overgrowth.
You’re also supposed to maintain that, not do it for a week and leave it to get stanky again. Have you never treated anything before? Like, even a cold?
If you've got a 'cold' that comes back like a cyclical boomerang biohazard, it's more than a cold. This is a different animal and it's been a bitch to treat.>>463378
I think I've seen tea tree oil mentioned on some of the forums that I've seen, I think I'll try it. It could be that the rubbing alcohol is just producing more dead skin in there, I don't think it has anti-fungal properties.