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No. 303056
Has any farmer here been a victim of an online child predator?
I've been in a LDR with my abuser for over 4 years. It started when I was 13 (we met when a month before my birthday) and ended when I was 18. He was 17 and a colleague of my father from an online game that he played.
Because of the relationship, my depression worsened, I have developed PTSD and a cluster of identity and self-esteem issues. Throughout the relationship, I acted like textbook BPD case.
Even though he is nothing but a blurred memory now (I am 26), he still affects me. Recently I started having the recurring dreams about him coming back into my life to snatch me into his reality. In those dreams, I am exactic about him coming back and heartbroken cause I have to break up with my bf for him (which I would never do, I want to be together forever with him). Every time I wake up confused and disgusted.
I read some memoirs of victims of child sexual abuse to feel less alone, however I feel guilty for relating to them - after all, their experiences were so much worse, being physical for the start. Sometimes I think I am some Soren-type freak, appropriating other people's nightmares to feel better. But there are no resources for people who went through that and deal with the fallout, only for parents concerned about their child and potential victims.
It makes me feel even worse that I got destroyed by something that so many people would laugh at as not being real (not for a lack of trying, though - it went as far as him traveling from the other side of the country to the city I lived near and me bailing on him as he was getting on the train to my village. As much as I have worshipped him, I knew that he would rape, kidnap me or worse had we met). I have never since experienced such an intense relationship. It was so much more than a sum of it's parts. As an adult, I know that it was shit, that he manipulated me and that we had nothing to talk about, to be honest. But when I was going through it, he was my God, my life, just everything. We had our secret world just for the two of us. I loved him so damn much I thought if I ever lost him, my life would end. I wished that it truly did for so many uears, as I have outlived my usefulness.
I am not even touching the tip of the iceberg here… I feel like only people who went through something similar can understand me.
No. 303087
File: 1538348090248.png (73.55 KB, 251x231, 1521756290277.png)
As a child, I was neglected and thrown the internet by my parents to shut me up. I got involved in a lot of fucked up shit by the time I was 12.
I started internet-hooking up with older men. They were mostly over 20, the oldest one I was with was 32. I was about 12 and this continued until I was 15. These men knew my age and didn't care at all and encouraged my hypersexuality at a young age. Not only did I do sexual things with them, I dated them more often than not. That's where the true grooming was. I remember the first older man I dated. He forced me into sending nudes to him and blackmailing me, he would tell me that it was normal for young girls to do things with older men, he made me do things with his friends. After him, more like him followed.
Now luckily this was all on the internet. If it had been in real life, I can't imagine if I'd be alive now or not.
It only stopped because the blackmail became too much on me. I was way too stressed and tired of being manipulated and abused by men way older than me. I also quit because I fell in love with another person who was actually my age when I was 15 and started dating him.
I have a lot of mental health issues and all of that back then just fueled it. Looking back I'm horrified that I allowed myself to be a victim of pedophilia. I thought it was fine because I was told it was fine.
Shit fucking sucks. I hate thinking about it. Glad other people have experiences like mine, though.
No. 303101
>>303087I can relate to this, anon. It stopped for all the same reasons.
>Looking back I'm horrified that I allowed myself to be a victim of pedophiliaI find myself thinking this too. In a way, I feel like I'm blaming myself for letting it happen. Like I should have known better. But when you're a child and neglected, I don't think you can really blame yourself. I was naive and thought these older men online just wanted to be friends and listen. Then I got forced into having to "compensate" for all the time and attention they gave me. Only then did reality set in. During that point as a child, I felt guilty and did what they wanted cause they were all I had as an outlet and didn't want them to hate me. It's pathetic and sad to look back on. It's all a mess. I hate thinking about it too.
No. 303102
>>303071Am an older dude dating a 16 years old irl and this is my fucking nightmare.
I love her and want the best for her. And as opposed to your ex, I actually encourage her to make friends outside of me and the older people she meets when hanging out with me as that shit is important.
But I still keep having this crippling doubt in my head that maybe am harming her in one way or another? She has severe self-confidence issues and I try my best to encourage her and help her through them, but sometimes I feel like am a predator when I tell her that she is mature above her age or that she is beautiful and she shouldnt worry about what her classmates say behind her back.
Obviously am doing my darn best not to get sexual with her, which is sometimes counter-productive since she just thinks am avoiding it because she's not attractive enough.
Honestly it's a lot of headaches but, fuck me, I actually really love her and I want to wait till she's a full-fledged, legal adult to talk about engagement and stuff. I dont want her to look back at the times we spent together, if we end up breaking up, and think to herself "he played me like a damn fiddle". But seeing her laugh, smile, blush, gives me a great amount of peace of mind, an god knows I need that shit.
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 303107
>>303102What on earth could make you think anyone wants to hear what a piece of shit like you has to say?
Btw you don't
feel like a predator, you ARE a predator. Now fuck off.
No. 303109
>>303102Leave her. You’re not a mental health professional which is the type of person she actually needs. You’re making things worse for her by grooming her and fucking with her emotions. The whole “oh, you’re so much more mature than your peers” is classic grooming bullshit.
But of course you’re not going to leave her because men like you are scum.
No. 303114
>>303112…and how old are you?
>Well that was pretty much what I expected.why'd you post in a thread for victims of online grooming then
No. 303120
>>303102>>303112Ew, you feel like a predator? You ARE one.
>what I expectedWell you did say it yourself so…fuck off. And from what you posted, you clearly don't even have good communication skills with her so your relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be, predator or not. Leave her alone you sack of shit.
No. 303122
>>303117fucking thank you to make me feel even worse about my experience. What about my post were I detail my experiences made you feel like I might be the shitfuck invading this thread?
Think before you put your tinfoil hat on, I know you wanted to be smart and lolcow is not a safe space but it hurts to be accused of something like that
No. 303124
>>303122idk anon maybe because one of the first 5 posts ITT is a fucking dude?
what kind of idiot would put this thread in /ot/ anyway?
No. 303125
A while back someone who I had met through an internet forum when I was pretty young (13 to 16) contacted me and wanted to talk to me about the "good old times" and I just wanted to get out asap because I felt so violated after the fact.
I was on this forum where there were 99% guys, so of course all girls got a lot of attention, and at the time it wasn't as clear to me, but there was a lot of shit that was just inappropriate. Guys hitting me up about sexual stuff, guys at least 6 years older than me,… Like there were genuinely good guys on there as well, who were my own age, but I just don't understand why someone who is in uni would be interested in someone who is 14 or 15. I had a bf on there as well, who I'd go and meet, and we even somewhat slept together when I was 14 or 15 in his uni dorm room. Luckily PIV didn't work though for some reason and he came from just me being in his bed or something, so at least I can tell myself that I didn't lose my virginity to that guy lol
A young girl is going to feel validated by this much attention, but in hindsight it's just so crazy to me.
When I changed schools for highschool, I made many female friends and started being more active in female communities, and that really helped with self esteem etc.
Random memories I have:
>Me and my friend (same age, probably 15) making out with two 21-year-olds at Dunkin Donuts
>A guy friend checking my underwear while I was sleeping (I pretended to not notice)
>This was not someone I met online, but I once slept over at a guy's house (really just a friend) and woke up with his hand down my pants. I just pretended to not wake up and rolled away.
>Sending (clean) underwear to a guy I met online
>Someone photoshopping a picture of me in a bikini that I had on some image hosting page (didn't link it anywhere) to look like I was naked and posting it on 4chan (a friend of mine found it)
>Being shown logs of guys I knew discussing my boobs on IRC
>Some guy describing his torture fantasies to me on ICQ or whatever
Like wtf?
No. 303126
>>303122This is a thread about girls being groomed online so they can share their experiences with sick fucks.
Not a thread for fucking groomers.
No. 303127
>>303124I was considering putting it in /g/ but as vent thread is here I decided for /ot/
Farmhands can move it.
Can you fucking stop attacking me now over trying to share experience with other women who share my fucked up experience?
No. 303129
>>303092I used to add random people from neopets and habbo hotel to MSN messenger. I remember one time when I was 10 or 11 a guy asked me if I ever "play with myself". I thought he meant playing pretend, or playing with toys by yourself so I said "yeah when I was little". Then he said no I mean masturbation. I didn't really know what that word meant but I was getting a weird feeling from the conversation so I said no. I don't think he asked me anything else after that and I deleted them. I haven't told anyone that story, but yours reminded me of it.
I also remember a guy on habbo hotel was mass-PMing people to add him on MSN for a show. I asked him what type of show and he said getting naked. I told him I was just a kid and he pretended to shocked like "omg I could have gone to jail!!" Yeah totally shocking that there would be kids on a website geared towards people under 18.
No. 303135
>>303128Thank you so much for your kind words, anon.
I know what you mean about the normal life.
After my relationship with the fuck ended, I crushed hard on an upperclassmen. I made myself obsess over him to avoid feeling all the trauma related to my abuser (I still loved him at the time). I just wanted to feel like a normal schoolgirl in love, the shoujo manga cliche that blushed when a cute guy is near and gossips with her friends (or rather my approximation of that). It really hurts me that there is no narrative or dialogue about this issue AFTER it happens and taking in mind the psychological damage that stays with you. Everything is so basic and assumes that once it happens, your parents will speak with you and shit will work itself out.
No. 303136
>>303129Anon, you sound like a great kid actually!
>Gets inappropriate message>Deletes user
>Gets invitation to creepy exhibitionist show>"Dude, I'm a literal child"I like your kid self. :)
No. 303153
It's sick how many young girls are groomed by gross dudes, every day. And how everyone defends it by saying "it's normal" and that ''age is just a number''. So many of my friends have been groomed, sometimes even more than once, and it always ends up following the same patterns all of you anons described. It's so disgusting. I'm happy that people in recent years have started to really recognize these ''relationships'' for what they truly are though; full-on pedophiles manipulating young girls to a point where they become EXACTLY what they want them to be: perfect little fucktoys that will always do whatever they ask them to do.
My experience was pretty similar to the ones in this thread. I started talking to some Z-List youtuber I was a fan of when I was 11, and we eventually moved to texting. We started dating, I believe, when I was just about to turn 12. He was 17. Things were pretty bad, he used to be incredibly jealous of every male I came into contact with, even fictional characters (I shit you not it would make him so smad when I talked about my fucking husbandos), but, of course, it turned him on when he fantasized about me making out with my female friends. He was the one who steered the conversation into something sexual for the first time about a month after we started dating (how surpising) and it was all downhill from there. It became an everyday thing. Ugh… We were even planning to get married and move to fucking Canada for some reason… And, of course, he demanded that we had sex every day if when we moved together. I'm getting so fucking angry and sad just remembering the things he would say to me. Imagine saying stuff like that to a fucking 12 year old little kid who is just a happy little weeaboo who talks about dumb little kid things all day long. I'm so glad we never got to meet IRL, god knows (and I do, too) what would have happened to me then.
I never actually realized how bad the relationship had scarred me until maybe two years later when I was hanging out with one of my friends and I just casually noticed how paranoid I was being just because there was a dude minding his own business near where we were sitting. Just because he was a dude. I started realizing how I was paranoid about every man in my life, thinking they were going to hurt me. My idea of sex was also super warped, y'all know probably know how it is, weird harmful kinks that are just plain disgusting, and stuff like that.
Thankfully, I've made so much progress these past two years regarding healing from the trauma and fear that I had as a result of this, mostly thanks to entering an actual healthy relationship with someone who truly supports me and wants me to be happy.
OP, thanks for making this thread. And if any of you are still dealing with the damage from one of these experiences, just remember that you're never alone, and that it's gonna get a lot better bit by bit! Love you!
No. 303160
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Yeah. I did a lot of inappropriate stuff with older people from when I started using the internet (8/9 onwards). My parents warned against it, but never really did anything, aside from shaming me and taking away my computer for like a month tops. I ended up being very hypersexual, talking about sex at inappropriate times all throughout primary school, grooming other kids, and getting a hentai/porn addiction. I was also occasionally molested IRL by both my parents and an employee of theirs, but my memories of that are very fuzzy (which I'm glad about). Because of that, I can still have a close relationship with my mother like nothing ever happened (my dad not so much, because he outright behaves inappropriately around me. I just pretend not to notice to keep peace, but I haven't seen him face to face in years, and I hope it stays that way), and usually I only ever think about it when something reminds me (this is also a big reason why I can't stand dd/lg or any sort of parental incest sexual shit. Even at my most hypersexual childhood stage, it would always just fill me with anxiety, disgust and shame), so I've never felt like I had the right to speak as a CSA victim.
My first "boyfriend" was some guy from 4chan, when I was 14 or 13 (he was 22). He was very emotionally manipulative, and often did/said things just to fuck with my feelings. I cried because I thought he hated me a lot of times, only for him to laugh at me and say he was just kidding. I ended up ghosting him after I told some female friends about him and they demanded I get rid of him. There was also this one guy with autism (professionally diagnosed) I also met on 4chan, who was 21. He was incredibly racist, but saw me as an "exception". It was very weird and added to a fucked up complex I had about my race for a while. He wasn't my boyfriend or anything, but he made a lot of inappropriate comments toward me, and they made me uncomfortable, but I was too scared to say it because he was very depressed and had a bad home life. He had also threatened suicide multiple times. One day, I got the guts to tell him to stop saying sexual things about me. We argued about it back and forth, and I asked him one last time to stop out of respect for me, and he point blank said "I don't see that happening", so I removed him.
There was another guy I met at 16, grew very attached to, and only cut off last year, but I feel sick thinking about him, and this is getting too long so I won't say too much. I do remember he defended pedophiles to me several times, and basically brainwashed me into agreeing with him that they were just poor, misunderstood, sick babies. He'd demand nudes and cyber with me, but also talk about how "ashamed" he was at the same time so I'd comfort him. Sometimes I wonder if he still has my nudes. As fucked as it sounds, sometimes I worry about him and even miss him. I'm glad this thread is here so I don't have to hold all this shit in like I always do. It sucks.
No. 303161
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>>303153OP here, thank you so fucking much ;___;
I am so sorry that you went through this shit too…
>He was the one who steered the conversation into something sexual for the first time about a month after we started dating (how surpising) and it was all downhill from there. It became an everyday thing. Ugh… We were even planning to get married and move to fucking Canada for some reason… And, of course, he demanded that we had sex every day if when we moved together. I'm getting so fucking angry and sad just remembering the things he would say to me. Imagine saying stuff like that to a fucking 12 year old little kid who is just a happy little weeaboo who talks about dumb little kid things all day long. I'm so glad we never got to meet IRL, god knows (and I do, too) what would have happened to me then. This was EXTREMELY relatable to me, as well as the part of molding children to be their fuckboy. This is what happened to me as well.
Spoiler for disgusting/graphic
on my 14th birthday, my pedo sent me wishes. I was going to a McDonalds with a bunch of weeb friends to celebrate and get Hello Kitty toys (pic related). I got a text from him asking if if he could give me as a gift vibrators and other sex toys and use them on me. I answered that yes or something even though I wanted to barf, but didn't want to disappoint him. I also justified it to myself that I am in relationship, and sex is normal in relationship, isn't it? All the teenage magazines said so.
Another time he asked me to go to a bathroom, still a lotion from my mom and write his nickname on my chubby tummy in it and send him a photo of it so he can use it as an avatar on a forum of an MMO server that he ran (that I believe served as a honeypot for him to groom teen girls). It felt very weird to me though I did not realize back than that it was supposed to look like sperm Of course we were meant to marry and live together etc. He said that if he lost me, he would never love anyone else and the like. Of course he was also the ubercatholic type that shamed me for being an atheist.
Sorry that I am speaking so much about yourself, I just don't have the opportunity irl. My ex bestfriend had the displeasure of listening to me when my PTSD made me revert to my 13 y/o mind when I saw his profile on facebook but she was a normie who did not have such experiences (luckily) so it was not the same.
I am so sorry for everyone posting ITT (beyond the gross scrot obviously) but also thankful for you willing to share your stories with me <3
No. 303170
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I'm 26. From age 11 onwards I was in a tight-knit online gaming clan mostly made up of kids around 12-19. Our de-facto "leader" was about 18 and we ended up becoming really good friends. By the time I was 17 (he was now 24) we started an online relationship. I read some of my old journals from this time period and I was actually fully aware of how weird and borderline creepy it was, especially because he kept pressuring me for photos/camming/sexting. It's disturbing to read it now from the perspective of an adult.
The first day we met face-to-face, he pressured and guilted me really hard for sex until I gave in. I was suffering from anxiety, depression, and cripplingly low self esteem. I knew it was a horrible idea, but I didn't think I could do any better, so I stayed with him. The other reason is that he kept threatening self-harm or suicide if I ever left him. He got really insecure and jealous after I started university and was making new friends, discovering new interests, etc. (he was a NEET) and he always took out his frustration with his life out on me, belitting me every time I was excited or interested in something that wasn't somehow related to him. I was always the target of his anger and he would manipulate me into feeling like I was responsible for his feelings, and that I needed to make it up to him with sexual favours. Eveything revolved around him and his gratification, basically.
I was just a person to insert into this "girlfriend" slot in his life, my needs and feelings didn't matter, he just needed any girl stupid and fucked up enough to fulfill that role for him. He also needed a lot of female validation and attention when I wasn't "affectionate" enough and I know he cheated on me with at least 2 of my friends (who were also young and mentally ill/vulnerable). He got bored and dumped me after a few years. I felt so free!
It's been 4 years since we split, but the damage is still there. It took me a really long time to discover that sex wasn't something I had to be coerced into to just "get it over with" and that I could say no without my boyfriend threatening to neck himself if I didn't. I had to unlearn my anxious behaviours like excessive apologizing and walking on eggshells constantly.
I feel more disgusted as more time passes. I feel like it's my fault for just going along with it for so long, even though I knew it was unhealthy. I should have been stronger.
>>303071I can really relate to this. I hope you're doing better now, anon.
No. 303175
I've got kind of a long one, anons.
Was groomed by a 20 year old around 10 years ago on Gaiaonline. I was 14-16. I thought I was "safe" because the person was a girl and I "knew everything about internet safety"
At first we were roleplaying in a group of people, but she eventually wanted me to move to PMs and things got sexual. I thought it was normal and I was edgy for "dating" someone older. After a while she wanted me to take and send pictures of myself in revealing clothes. She would be on basically all day, sending me dirty messages to the point where I made a second account to hide what she sent.
If I told her it was making me uncomfortable, she would "apologize" profusely or tell me she was going to kill herself which would end in me staying up all night to talk her down. I didn't know this was a textbook abuse tactic.
After a while, my parents confiscated my laptop and started monitoring my usage more, because my grades were falling and I was spending all my time online, talking to this woman. At the time, I was pissed but looking back, I'm glad they did.
About a year ago, I went back on the account for muh nostalgia. I unearthed the messages and I felt sick reading them. I feel revolted by sexting/sending nudes/etc to my boyfriend now.
Feels bad, man.
No. 303194
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When I was 14-16, I chatted with a 21 yr old guy I thought was funny on steam. I was extremely insecure, bullied and lonely, and so I began sending sexual photos and videos whenever he asked. This started a long time after we had started talking, which created some false sense of intimacy. He praised me and complimented me for doing so and the rush I felt from being desired was completely new and very powerful.
I stopped doing this around 17, but he contacted me on facebook a few years ago and it terrified me. He had never been outright abusive or threatened me, but I sent videos where my face was in them. I made videos indulging his fetish. I never thought about how easy it is to download videos and thought I was "safe", so now the thought of me being out there is something I… Like to avoid.
I have repressed this and never spoken to anyone, let alone a therapist, about it. But I suspect it did help me get an eating disorder, internalize an extreme amount of guilt, and go on to have several very toxic and abusive "relationships" with men.
Fuck, man, I haven't dealt with this at all.
No. 303196
I got really involved in forums when I was 11. The one I posted on the most was for a band that's mostly popular with older men, so I always felt so special to be on there and get acceptance and praise from all these men. I didn't realize how weird it was until so many years later that these grown guys would be private messaging a little girl, but some of them talked to me like they were a dad or older brother and it lulled me into a false sense of security. One of them talked to me on AIM about how he wished I could be his girlfriend and I felt sooo cool that a 25 year old would think that I was ~so mature~. I confided a lot in him and he took my trust in him to start asking me about masturbation and telling me how he masturbated thinking of me. I told him I never did because I was scared, but he insisted on it so I could tell him about it…I just wanted to feel special.
When I was 15, I was anorexic and wrote on my LiveJournal all the time. One time, I had just narrowly escaped from inpatient by signing a contract in the ER and wrote on my LJ about how I wasn't going to follow it at all and I posted a picture of myself with my entry. A guy I hadn't talked to before, but was in some mutual communities, commented, saying that I was hot. Possibly one of the most vulnerable times of my life so he clearly knew just when to strike. He was 21 and a few weeks later, I met him in person…he insisted on fingering me and choked me within a few minutes of meeting. We dated until I was 17 and when I broke up with him, he logged into all my accounts and messaged me scary messages from them.
I'm so ashamed of these things that even after years of therapy, I still can't bring myself to say it aloud.
No. 303211
Context: This was an email I sent to the editor of my fanfictions on AO3. I write fanfiction for the nitro+chiral games and this was explaining why I don’t write it for dramatical murder. I'm now 19 and I no longer use Tumblr, although this did all unfold on Tumblr.
The way I was introduced to dmmd was through someone who was grooming me. For exactly what, I will never know, thank god I never had to find out. This person was 17-18 and immensely attracted to my 13-14 self. This person was attracted to me because of how broken I was. My dad had just cheated on my mom and I was still self-harming. I will use ‘they’ because this person’s gender is irrelevant to the story.
This person met me online when I was 13, sad and alone. I deeply admired this person because their tumblr blog was popular. One day, we became friends. I was instantly way too vulnerable with this person, because I was a gullible child. This person regularly accused me of wallowing in my own pity and never wanting to pull it together (they knew my story and self-harm, they did not care). If they thought I was such a pathetic child, why did they keep me? Well, because I worshiped the ground they fucking walked on.
This person would try to ‘help’ me but keep pulling me under with their bullshit. I convinced I had a crush on them (looking back I was mistaking my need for approval for romantic affection, but once again, irrelevant if I was convinced I did feel romantically for them).They rejected me (not for my age btw) and I accepted it. We continued our friendship. This person, despite rejecting me, would call me cute and convince me I was special. This person and I continued a friendship that was fine, until it wasn’t.
This person convinced me to play dmmd, which is highly pornographic, convinced I would get off on Clear. As you may have guessed, being 14, I was much too young to be viewing that shit. To this day if I meet a nitro+chiral fan younger than 17 I do not engage with that person. During this time the usual fandom hype shit expanded and declined over the course of about a year or so, as everything does. I drifted away from dmmd but still remained friends with this person. It was around this time this person told me they had a crush on me.
At first it was ‘cute’ and ‘tame’. But things started to take a turn for the worse. This person would tease me, endless flirty texts and even a few ‘I love yous’. I was still pretty unstable at this point, blossoming teenage hormones and mental illness are explosive. This person wouldn’t commit to dating me, even though I wanted them, to because of the distance. This where the first act of manipulation comes in. Why did they even bother telling me they had a crush on me, knowing I would feel the same back, if they had no plans to date me? It was to torment me and it did a nice job. They would comments about how cute I was, how nice having sex with me might be, how they had vivid lesbian fantasies about me. Things escalated over the course of 6 months or so. I became more volatile, going on long, angry rants about the way this person would behave. This probably was a total overreaction from the outside looking in, but this person was basically a fucking adult using a middle-schooler for their own emotional gain. Seriously, whatever I said doesn’t matter, no matter how outrageous it was, they were a fucking predator. They would tease me with romantic texts and images (like an image of two schoolgirls having sex) then ghost me for days on end. They would play into my fantasies and then pull away or say something callous unexpectedly. They would make endless excuses for this, ‘life’ excuses or whatever other bullshit they could come up with.
It all reached an end when the person who I would angrily yell at about this finally told them. I was so distressed and exhausted from the tug of war at this point that I blocked them. They apparently sent me a long message, which I never got and glad I never did. Seeing their pleas would have never have benefited me. I ended up trying to ‘undo the damage I had done’ by trying to get this person to give me attention once more. They did, for a little while, before one day up and ghosting me forever. I tried to track them down for a bit, but nothing ever came of it. I’m glad it didn’t. Looking back, I was being groomed by a disturbed person who was using my emotional turmoil so they could play out some fantasy they had about a young girl. This person targeted me because of how broken I was. The idea that I did something wrong is gross. Nothing I could have said or done to this person would have justified any of what happened.
I know this isn't as bad as some of your cases, but this incident really fucked with me. I still struggle with making sense of it. I have to keep telling myself it wasn't my fault, I was just a 13 year old girl. I haven't told anyone in real life. I'm afraid of sounding like I'm overreacting or being stupid.
No. 303235
>>303231Reread that.
>Because of the relationship, my depression worsened, I have developed PTSD AND a cluster of identity and self-esteem issues. I don't care if you believe me, this is an anon board and I know what I've been through. I just wanted to straighten this out as a notion of me claiming to develop PTSD out of low-self esteem is so wrong it's not even funny.
You know PTSD is not for war veterans, right? I was a depressed, suicidal kid before all of it happened, but he made everything worse. Of course if ypu think PTSD is something one might develop only because of combat or violence it does sound implausible, but years long psychological abuse did take its toll on me, probably because I was so young.
It was like being mindraped over and over againI was a shell of a human being when it ended, so consumed by the trauma I could barely speak (as in, I was physically able to, but not willing).
I am not trying to be tumblr cool, just recounting my experience. I am no longer affected by it, but that was the most horrific shit especially when I did not know what was happening to me and my parents accidentally made me flashback by dragging up the relationship in a light-hearted way.
I am still feeling guilty and angry sometimes over how I let this fuck me up so bad. I could be tons more normal.
No. 303239
>>303235i believe you, anon. you can develop ptsd from loads of stuff. even persistent, 'mild' abuse, even emotional abuse can result in 'complex PTSD'. i absolutely believe you. don't worry about the other anon, she's just confused. people usually think of PTSD from like, one thing, you know, a car crash or some singular event that's seen as very traumatic, like rape, but you can develop it from multiple events, even ones that seem 'mild', and it doesn't need to be war vet shit, as you said.
No. 303255
>>303160>I did a lot of inappropriate stuff with older people from when I started using the internet (8/9 onwards). My parents warned against it, but never really did anything, aside from shaming me and taking away my computer for like a month tops. I ended up being very hypersexual, talking about sex at inappropriate times all throughout primary school, grooming other kids, and getting a hentai/porn addiction.this hit me hard, anon. it's eerie how similar it is to my experience. and i know this is an anonymous image board, but…
>grooming other kidsthanks for including this. because of how hypersexual i was, and how normal it all was to me, i probably helped normalize it to other kids around me, irl and online. i feel awful about it. logically i know it wasn't my fault, i was an abused kid myself, but it still sucks to think about. so thanks for being honest, i guess. i feel less alone
No. 303256
>>303235why are you being so fucking black and white.
anon was saying you can't simply get PTSD from being in a bad relationship. you have to have experienced a specific event. ignoring her point and just going to WAR VETS unironically makes you sound like an idiot.
you also are clearly ESL, cause you said "i've been in" not "i was in" which implies you are still in the relationship.
i've noticed you've been extremely over emotional elsewhere ITT, so maybe go to therapy if you can't handle anons asking you questions or doubting you.
whatever issues you had haven't subsided.
No. 303257
>>303256Abuse (sexual, mental, emotional, physical) is a sensitive topic for anyone who's been through it. Speaking from experience, being invalidated is very, very shitty and will pretty much invariably lead to either lashing out in anger, or immediately going quiet again and carrying a chip on your shoulder about opening up (sometimes both).
I get that you were/are confused, but this just isn't the time or place for scrutiny, or talking about anon's English skills. It's for people who have gone through something that doesn't seem to be brought up from the child's POV to talk openly for once.
>you can't simply get PTSD from being in a bad relationshipThis just isn't right. Sorry.
No. 303263
>>303257Forgot this link.
>>you can't simply get PTSD from being in a bad relationshiphttps://www.healthyplace.com/ptsd-and-stress-disorders/ptsd/ptsd-from-domestic-violence-emotional-abuse-childhood-abuse
>Emotional abuse can be as damaging as physical abuse, and intimate partner violence doesn’t have to be life-threatening in order to cause PTSD (Hughes & Jones, 2000). >Specific types of domestic abuse that can lead to PTSD include:
>Sexual abuse/rape>Physical abuse>Psychological/emotional abuse>Intimidation, threats>Economic deprivation/financial abuse>Verbal Abuse>StalkingAll of which can and do happen when you are groomed in childhood, online or offline.
Please, before speaking in absolutes, try to double-check what you think may be true. Google remains free, and you may risk needlessly causing conflict. Anon also clearly has issues, she's talked about them. We all do ITT. Pointing out they haven't subsided as if it's a jab against her as a human being is not just pointless, but needlessly harsh and rude. We aren't a bunch of shitty neckbeards on 4chan obsessed with attacking each other for a rush. It doesn't hurt to show some sensitivity when it comes to something like this.
No. 303266
>>303263that's from the
abuse aspects though, which is what anon was saying.
ffs you're fucking dense. it's a sensitive topic yes, but anon boards aren't a fucking safe space.
No. 303268
>>303267also, no i'm not a dude, i've posted
my story ITT but OP has been treating the entire thread like her fucking therapy session and getting up in arms at anyone who
triggers her.
she should fucking get off an anon board if she wants people to actually give a shit.
No. 303271
>>303266right, and OP said:
>but years long psychological abuse did take its toll on me, probably because I was so young. like, if you're going to be this stupidly rude for no reason, at least read and maybe
try to come close to being right.
>>303268so you're upset your story didn't get enough attention then and are lashing out at her for it? if true, wow, anon. really cold and dumb as fuck. seek help.
No. 303273
File: 1538404544518.gif (326.26 KB, 480x270, tumblr_ogfvy9bc2d1vnqmpbo1_500…)
People online love throwing around "I GOT/I HAVE PTSD" like it's nothing. Get properly diagnosed through a mental health professional, stop with the online diagnosis christ.
I think it's really easy for kids and teens to get groomed online because you interact with many people of various ages. When I was a teen I joined a guild and the leader who was in his late twenties started trying to persuade me into sending him nudes and offered to send me a dildo and cam him through skype using it. I got really offended that he had the audacity to ask me that because I respected him and saw him as the authority of order of the guild. I kept telling him no but he kept persisting till I yelled at him 3 times and called him a pedophile in front of a few clan members. The other instance wasn't as bad, a guild member who was in his mid twenties had a crush on me, it weirded me out how an adult was into me and I didn't know how to turn him down so I told him I wasn't attracted to asians, that in turn made him turn the whole guild against me.
No. 303275
>>303266And being groomed, manipulated and sexually abused in childhood is - surprise, abuse. How do you not see this? I'm not the one who's dense here.
If you don't get it, please just stop posting and hide the thread. This board isn't a "safe space", but this thread is meant for a specific type of person, so don't be surprised about getting backlash when you try to discredit someone's story or imply what they went through isn't bad enough to cause certain symptoms.
>>303267Funny that you try to insult the OP for having issues that haven't subsided, but you're making shitty, edgelord posts like this for no reason. Seems like you're the one with the most toxic issues, considering you can't even be halfway decent and use retarded defenses like "Hurr not a safe space xDDDddd".
Male or not, you carry bullshit 4chan boy tuff-guy attitude, and you need to fuck off. No one agrees with you or is impressed by you being a dick.
>>303268Make your own thread elsewhere, then. This isn't for in-fighting or yelling at abuse victims when they're rightfully pissed at stupid questions and people trying to invalidate them. It's not about you.
No. 303276
>>303271don't really OP's clearly using this thread as her own personal therapy session and getting extremely
triggered.
getting personally offended by anons asking you shit is pathetic. clearly she can't handle posting here.
No. 303280
>>303273i am so ridiculously sick of this shit. you know anon isn't professionally diagnosed, how, exactly? and why do you faggots treat diagnoses like they're so hard to come by, as if abuse doesn't happen all of the time, and as if it's so unbelievably hard to obtain a diagnosis for these things? kids who fake schizophrenia get diagnosed, anyways, but women and girls are abused at a very high frequency. it being common doesn't mean it isn't real.
this isn't tunglr, anyhow. stop trying to discredit abuse victims because you think it's cute to be a presumptuous dingleberry.
No. 303282
>>303273be careful anon, you're going to
trigger OP again and she'll scold you!
No. 303284
>>303278Wat. I'm responding to the same person's multiple posts. They even responded to themselves to clarify who they are, and I'm taking each post point by point. That doesn't make me OP just because I think shitposting and immature behavior needs to stop. Why are you being paranoid?
Actually, don't answer that. It doesn't really matter. I can be OP if you want, just stop clogging the thread with useless declarations that abuse victims have "unresolved issues" (kek) in a bid to insult them. If you think it's all BS, you have no reason to be here.
No. 303285
>>303161No need to thank me!
Also, oh my god! I have those exact toys from McDonalds!I'm really, really sad you had to go through all that. The whole situation sounds so fucking terrible. I really hope you start feeling better soon, OP.
Sidenote, I've also noticed how a lot of victims of grooming have felt some sort of ''guilt'' because they feel the abuse they experienced wasn't ''bad enough'' for them to be hurting so deeply, or because other people have ''had it worse'' (this almost always relates to the fact that there wasn't physical sexual abuse), so they feel their experience isn't valid. It's fucked up how similar these grooming situations end up being, like for example regarding the things abusers say to lift their victims up so they feel they know what they are doing (''oooh you're so much more mature than other people your age!!!''. I bet almost all of us anons have heard that exact same thing from their abuser.). You'd think that by now this should be, like, common knowledge, but I feel like no one talks about it, even though it's something so many people have experienced. We had so many of these ''talks'' about internet safety in school, and there used to be even ads on TV about it, but no one ever directly mentioned groooming situations like this even though they were (and are) so common, and so similar… Maybe that will change in some time. I sure hope so. Every kid uses the internet now. It's not an uncommon thing for a kid as early as 9 to be on the internet, where a few years ago you would almost be shamed if you used your computer for more than two hours a day. I don't live in the US though, so I'd like to know what these things are like over there. Are people more aware of stuff like this?
No. 303287
>>303286Okay, now I know you're just here to shitpost and cause in-fighting. The important thing is: Information on PTSD has been posted to educate and correct any wrong beliefs. Also, it's been established that psychological/emotional/sexual abuse, especially when it occurs in childhood, is still abuse.
I hope you find something good to do on a Monday, ince–I mean farmer-chan.
No. 303289
Not any of the other anons ITT, but reading this thread, I actually agree with them a bit. OP seems way too fragile to be putting herself out here like this. She clearly has not gone to therapy because a lot of her behaviors that she outline is very indicative of someone who cannot deal with her situation.
Also reactions like
>>303122 are kind of cringy tbh. If she is putting so much stock into anons then her mental health needs professional attention, and posting here is just going to hurt her more.
No. 303295
>>303287>anon who doesn't agree with me is an incel meme just stop, OP doesn't have PTSD, most people don't have it, PTSD is a serious anxiety related disorder. simply being
triggered by something doesn't even make it PTSD. stop grasping at straws.
No. 303296
>>303287also i just want to point out, being groomed
online is not nearly as bad as being groomed IRL. online relationships between adults are barely real as it is.
No. 303297
>>303289I don't think anyone is arguing with OP having issues or needing therapy. I think those are common problems for several users on this site. It's the retard who didn't know how PTSD works, started antagonizing everyone, and said OP "needs to kill herself" after complaining about OP having issues that people are shutting down.
This thread is just for people to talk about the shit they went through, not necessarily debate it with everyone else. I respect OP for at least being pro-active enough to have this idea, even if she's obviously not "fixed" yet (I don't think too many of us are). The person(s) shitting it up aren't very defensible IMO.
No. 303299
>>303297I just have to disagree.
>>303231 anon wasn't shitposting at all and OP's reaction here
>>303235 is just sad to me. I don't really care either way if she has PTSD or not, but she has put so so much stock into this thread and obviously can't handle it.
I think people are trolling her on purpose. Incel or not, we have users who frequent the boards that fight for the sake of fighting and admit to doing so.
No. 303301
>>303296>>303295I've been groomed both IRL and online. Both are fucked up and involve mental games, as well as real feelings, on kids. At its worst, it leads to very real trauma. Are you a doctor to be able to confirm what OP has or doesn't have? Do you have a study or source that confirms heavy online grooming can never be "nearly as bad" as IRL, or are you just working off the same flawed assumptions that lead you to believe a person can't get PTSD from an abusive relationship?
You obviously don't know how it is, probably think a creep saying "hi, sex?" on Gaia Online and being met with "Go away creep" is the only way online grooming manifests, and all in all, you need to quit.
No. 303302
>>303299The shitpost here
>>303267 is what I'm talking about. This is not a sane, rational person just concerned with the truth.
No. 303304
>>303297Totally diff anon who's been lurking, but I just wanted to say that if OP is going to lurk her thread and defend herself to every single poster on an anonymous board, she should be doing more productive things with her time. Obviously it's a touchy subject, but like, you don't need to sit around and wait to defend yourself.
Wanting to be understood and vent is one thing, but all of her defenses that have already been mentioned are pretty telling.
No. 303307
>>303304It looks like OP stopped replying at
>>303235. It's just been me and 1-2 other(s) who has been discussing this up til now, even though the shitposter(s) accused me of being OP.
No. 303313
File: 1538407095965.jpg (7.14 KB, 275x275, 1532408072297.jpg)
Thankfully I haven't been actually involved in grooming, but having been on the internet at the age of 13+ means that some creeps definitely tried to.
The ones I remember distinctly:
>21 years old ugly as fuck guy who would chat with me on MSN, knowing very well that I was only 13, but I was naive and enjoyed to make "internet friends" to chat
>I even used to vent my dysfunctional family stuff to him and one day he tells me how much he would like to "make love to me and cuddle"
>I get instantly creeped out, tell him he's an ugly pedo and block him
>On an online game at 14, age well displayed
>Friend request from a 19 y.o. guy within 2 minutes of playing
>The first thing he asks me is "How does your little pussy look like?"
>Block
>On another social website at 13, age well displayed on profile, no pictures of me at all, anime avatar
>Inbox FULL of guys between the age of 18 at minimum and 40 at max
>Without even seeing how I look like, just turned on at the thought of a 13 years old alone on the internet
Disgusting
No. 303319
>>303309yeah this is some dumb shit
i was never in a proper relationship with anyone online, but like most of you i was left to my own devices on the internet at a very young age and i was lonely. i’m assuming most of us browsed 4chan and shit when we were underaged too. does anyone else worry sometimes that being exposed to the weirdness towards women that exists in those spaces shaped their understanding of femininity in some ways?
i’m not sure. i was really young and impressionable and i remember lurking silently and listening to these idiots talk about women and what was attractive and what wasn’t, and i think it definitely made a toxic impression on me when it came to my self image and where i thought my worth existed. i remember freaking out when i turned 14/15 because i was convinced i was getting too OLD and that my attractive years were behind me. older (mid 20s-30s) male anime fans pretty much made me want to be a perfect anime loli for them, just bc i wanted validation in some sort of capacity and i was praised for my youth; my naivety; my innocence.
it probably fucked me up at least a little.
No. 303329
File: 1538408446644.jpg (206.98 KB, 632x432, Puzzle-Pirates-6.jpg)
There used to be this online game called puzzle pirates (lol) that I was obsessed with when I was younger. I was an idiot and made my username something like "anon1996" with my name and 1996 being the year I was born so creeps could see how young I was. mainly I just wanted to get money in it to buy clothes and whatnot and I remember guys would message me saying if you "cyber" with me I'll send you money and you can buy clothes, it was gross and stupid because they had an in game chat filter so you would have to write like "s 3 x" and shit like that to get through the filter. Later when I started using IMVU same thing happened…
No. 303334
File: 1538408924218.png (1.06 MB, 790x855, 1531999614839.png)
It didn't really come as a surprise to me when I was solicited on the internet for sex because I had already been molested by a male babysitter by the time I was 6, was touched inappropriately by other boys in elementary school, watched sexual scenes from movies my biological father didn't give a fuck about exposing me to, and masturbating (w/o knowing what it was) starting when I was 7. I had a best friend in middle school who normalized me to online chat rooms and older men interacting with young girls. I remember being jealous that she had a webcam. When we would hang out, most of the time I would be sitting in the background while she chatted with mostly older males for hours. While she never admitted to overt sexual activity with them, I knew for a fact that they were trying to romance and court her. Later on she definitely cybered with them. She was groomed, but at the time I thought it was ok. In fact I was jealous that the older men thought she was "mature."
Because of all these circumstances, I had a strong belief that sex was normal, validating even, and to have guys chasing after girls meant that they were likable or desirable.
I yearned for male interaction in middle school. Yet I was a fat, ugly duckling irl since I gained a lot of weight from custody bs between my mom and biological dad. Also since I was molested, I developed a tough girl "tomboy" attitude and appearance because I simultaneously wanted boys to respect me and be my friends.
That didn't really work lol.
When my parents finally got internet in our house (~12 years old), I went super wild. I wanted to be like my best friend. I'd go to chat rooms, and while I was lying about my age by a couple of years (saying I was 14 or 16), males who wanted to cyber would contact me. The cybering never did anything for me, but it was enough to finally have a taste of that male attention I craved. Besides that, I didn't have a webcam and knew I was kinda ugly anyway, so I never sent pictures that were of me or ever made any plans to meet up with anyone. But this was all still unhealthy for my preteen self; I learned things I shouldn't have during this time and it only solidified my belief that sex at my age was normal.
It was around this time that I met the guy who'd groom and stick with me for awhile. His name was Chris. He might have been around 20 years old. While I didn't have a webcam around this time, he'd make me watch him do sexual things on his webcam. He would get angry if I didn't want to watch. He'd instruct me to play with myself and insist I'd do it for real, and after awhile curiosity led me to following along and doing stupid shit. Like sticking a toothbrush up my vagina.
When I got into highschool I put the internet down for awhile because I became more feminine and managed to get boyfriends irl. Yet when I returned to the internet later with a webcam (17), Chris was there in his mid-20s waiting to come back into my life. He was just thrilled that I had a webcam and could now talk me into doing the things he always wanted to be sure I was doing.
One thing that skeeved me out was how sometimes when he was on cam, a little girl would walk into his room and get awful close/sit on his lap. It was his younger sister, and while I can't prove anything, I got really bad vibes from how 'intimate' they seemed.
When I graduated high school and left for college, I didn't have time for instant messengers or chat rooms anymore so Chris naturally disappeared when I stopped logging on.
About a year or so ago he sent a friend request on fb. He's married and has a child now. Luckily the child is male but I still skeeve thinking about what will happen if he has a girl.
Anyway, I didn't get bad depression from all these things but it did turn me hypersexual for most of my teens and early 20s. I was dismissive of a lot of abuse and being sexually taken advantage of because I thought it's what I wanted, and after all wasn't it normal male behavior?
It's just sad because I had to learn so many hard lessons, and didn't really grow wise to the unhealthiness of my mentality until I was in my mid 20s. I still crave abuse in the bedroom even though I know it's wrong. I got out of a long term relationship recently and it drove me nuts how my bf was so vanilla and treated me like a decent human. The first thing I did was have a raunchy hookup with the first pervert who gave me sexual attention at a party.
It feels like it won't ever stop.
My brain will never go back to innocence.
No. 303466
>>303418I spoke to him 1,5 years after we "broke up". He was in a relationship with the girl (she was 19 or something like that) and he was living with her and had met her parents. He was still a narcisstic fuck. I felt disgusted and blocked him.
Looking back, I think in a way he was in love with me but just as much a NPD junkie can be in love with a teenager he never met.
It was all the classic grooming stuff as well like "you're so mature for your age" etc.
I rarely ever think about it nowadays. When I remember it I physicly cringe and feel anger that men like him exist.
I'd like to believe that relationship hasnt shaped me but then I remember how the following years I've lost my virginity to an anonymous hook-up and engaged in violent casual sex.
Thankfully I'm better today and my sexuality is much healthier.
It's scary to think that we were planning to "run away together" and all. I had made a whole plan to leave my family.
No. 304343
>>304324Well, personally I did end up having an online relationship with someone considerably older when I was 20. I got a webcam and that brought out the real predators. It was awful and definitely ptsd-worthy.
I never thought of it as a function of the age-gap, but maybe I was taken advantage of because I was a very innocent 20 year old.
No. 304347
>>304343Even between "adults", most people frown on a huge age gap (like say a 20 yo with a 39 yo). Even as a 31 year old, im way different than I was at 20. For the most part predator men seek young and naive because they are easier to control, and they lord a type of dependency over the younger partners. Because matured women won't take that same kind of shit from them.
My friend had this retarded fetish over older guys just because "older". and it took a string of bad relationships to realize they would never see her as an equal. They always talked to her like they're right about everything because of life experience. It was their tool to invlidate any feelings or opinions she may have.
No. 304371
>>304347i think these kinds of gaps could hypothetically work if the older person is also super immature and in the same walk of life, but usually the older person isn't going after younger people cause of that, it's cause they are predatory.
i have a girl friend who grooms people and no one has any issue with it but me, even though it's only going to cause the guys she grooms to either groom others or become messed up. she purposely goes after younger dudes with mental issues or poor mental health and love bombs them, it's disgusting.
No. 304383
>>304371Yikes your friend is wrong. That's really sad. People give passes to female predators but good on you for seeing what it is.
And yea I am sure there's examples of couples with a huge age gap that work, but it's not the majority. Personally at my age, a super immature man sounds really repulsive and a red flag to me. My ex clearly needed to have a little girl who thought he was the best thing in the world and no life experience to realize that there could be a life beyond him. He's that pathetic, and yep, he was emotionally stunted and immature. That seemed cool to a 16 yo that doesn't know any better but when I matured into a woman my tastes changed and that entire thing disgusts me now. I was NOT interested in freaking 16 year old boys at 23. It's not normal.
No. 304385
>>304383yeaaaaah. I have no clue what's wrong with some men or my friend. the only thing that's vaguely tolerable, is that she used to go for underage (when she was mid 20s), and now only goes for 18+. bitch, you're 32, stop!
sorry for getting so upset. i've just been on the younger end of what she's doing and know how fucked up it is.
No. 304389
>>304284I think it's disrespectful
but hey, it's lolcow to say all, or even most are, but I think some of the people here are cases of self-fulfilling prophecies. Hell, I think that's true for a lot of people traumatized by rape as well.
Taking this anon's case as an example
>>304324>Anyways it was ultimately this knowledge … that gave me the PTSD part lolBefore anyone accuses me of being a bot, yes, the part about sexual exploitation absolutely is perfectly valid. The greentext bit, though, makes me think of my own rape. The was no trauma at the time (it was what people would call extremely pushy and coercive), I was still in love with him afterwards
before an actual bot shows up: no, I didn't fall in love with him because of the rape, I was already into him before. And no, this does not make it somehow "not rape" or acceptable behavior in any way, thought nothing of it except "damn, that was some bad sex" and lived a normal life ever since. That is, until pop feminism gained power.
That's when I learned that what happened was extremely wrong (correct) and that it's "devastating, life-destroying, suicide fuel, literally the worst thing you could do to a person, more cruel even than murder" (not always correct). Of course, I felt like that's how I should feel.
It's a catch-22 because we want to prevent rape by making people aware of how damaging it is, but by saying how damaging it is we end up… ensuring that victims do become devastated (since we make that the "normal reaction" and humans adapt to norms way too well).
No. 304392
>>304389Yea totally, I think your experience and how you reacted to it is totally valid.
Let me try to explain a bit more of why it particularly affected me the way it did…
It wasn't the fact that I simply later I realized how wrong and taboo it is (which it is), it was more that looking back at it, he really DID fit the mold of a grooming predator. I realized finally that the guy I was involved with, and used to think was so great, was actually a predator with severe self esteem issues who couldn't cope with adulthood. I had icky feelings leading up to our breakup about him as I got older, but I couldn't really articulate why I was getting icky feelings the longer we dated.
He said the template "Oh you're so mature for your age!" This is to get the younger person to doubt that the relationship is actually wrong. I can't imagine being his age (which was around 23/24) and saying that to a 16 year old boy, so reaching his age and not being able to relate to his behavior or feelings was disturbing to me. I also didn't see what business I had as an adult woman, to even talk to a 16 year old in the first place? I completely matured in a way that was considered healthy and had interest in men in my age bracket.
The more I learned about him, the more I realized this guy doesn't get out much. I was an easy and safe person to coerce into a relationship because I was someone who'd think he's the best and coolest thing ever.
If we were the same ages, I would not have been interested in the kind of adult he was. He was into weeaboo shit and seemed to have an unhealthy fixation on his childhood, very shut in and didn't have friends. By then my tastes in men had changed. I suspect he probably had trouble courting women his own age because they noticed the same things.
There's also other little weird shit he said and did. When we first admitted feelings, he immediately brought up marriage (trying to trap me as soon as he could). When I went off to university, he was NEVER happy for me. He always sounded apprehensive to anything I talked about. didn't seem to like hearing about my friends that I finally had, or the new social circles I was building . He even seemed to suggest he liked me better when I was 16. It's because the child is more appealing than the woman who could have her own interests and a life that didn't revolve around him.
So after years of this behavior along with me maturing in a way that was healthy, I realized this guy is stuck in the past, and not the type of person I wanted to spend my life with. I started to remember the weird shit he did and said. How he'd get weirdly pushy and sexual at inappropriate times as well. I realized I was growing up and this is not the person I wanted to be with, or should have ever been with. An adult man should have never apporoached me in that way and should have been the adult in the situation to stop what was happening.
He fought like hell, he didn't want to let the past go. Thank God I managed to successfully get away, it could have been way worse for me.
I know that was super tldr, and even writing this out makes my thoughts super jumbled. I just don't like thinking about it. But hopefully something I said here is relatable to someone else that has gone through something similar. Its just the realization that this whole time, I was in a relationship with a predator.
No. 304401
>>304392>He was into weeaboo shit and seemed to have an unhealthy fixation on his childhood, very shut in and didn't have friends […] I suspect he probably had trouble courting women his own age Yeah it sounds like he was living the life of a teenager, not an adult.
>>304371>i have a girl friend who grooms people […] she purposely goes after younger dudes with mental issues or poor mental health and love bombs them, it's disgustingIn this case, obviously she knows she's a predator. She's not somebody who has trouble making adult relationships; she enjoys going after someone younger for specifically abusive reasons.
No. 304434
File: 1538540763790.jpg (63.2 KB, 500x495, BStxoUr.jpg)
24 years old at this time, I've had a few experiences with likely predators online. Some pretty typical, one not at all.
Between the ages of 13-17 I spent most of my time playing MMOs and the like, and quite a few older men (usually 17-early 20s, but one case a dude in his mid thirties!!) wanted to online date me, and often pushed me into getting skype so they could chat with me online, but young me was both very shy and paranoid so I made the interaction strictly stay within these games. Despite that I do recall that some of them often tried to coerce me into sexual stuff, but I always declined or tried to change the subject since the idea repulsed me and because of these reasons they'd always get bored of me and the relationships would never get far. Thinking about it, I'm glad I responded the way I did but I should never have allowed myself to start a relationship in an online game in the first place.
Unfortunately, that's nothing compared to what happened later on. Due to lack of physical socializing and the like I was always quite mentally immature for my age, even fast forwarding into adulthood. When I was 17, I befriended a 12-year-old girl on an art site and the friendship lasted little over a year, but a few months into it this girl suddenly became extremely sexual towards me and it made me super uncomfortable due to my prudish nature and obviously the fact that she was literally barely a teenager. Thinking back it made me feel like she wanted me to groom her or something and it makes me sick to my stomach. She often sent me disturbing images and would never listen when I told her to stop, and once she did decide to listen she would complain about how I'm no fun. I recall she had a fondness for fictional couples that had huge and unhealthy age gaps too.
Her behavior and the fact that she always dumped her problems onto me about how her dad and sister are horrible put so much stress on me during that year or so, and I eventually decided to cut ties with her.
I've gone to therapy about this in the past because it haunted me severely for the following years, nowadays it still does but I'm able to forgive myself. I really hope this girl had gone to therapy for her problems too, she absolutely doesn't deserve to live with an abusive family but the way she had dealt with it just wasn't right.
No. 304561
I have a vague memory of something that I only recently realized was very very wrong. I was I think about 12 years old and had just recently started using like msn and stuff. I talked to my school friends, but because of my lack of internet experience accepted a friend request from somebody I didn’t know. They claimed to be a teenage girl, so I talked to them a while, told them some personal info, my hobbies, my age, I don’t remember exactly what information. They asked for photos of myself, and so I ran up to my room and sent a couple random selfies I took with my camera, I was just wearing pj pants and a sweater I remember.
I definitely wasn’t much of a looker, but they replied back about how beautiful I was and that I looked like a model. Eventually they asked for a pictures of me in my bra. I don’t remember how the conversation turned down that road I think we were discussing “cute bras” or something and they wanted to see mine. I some how didn’t realize this was a red flag, but I did compromise and just took a picture of my bra, not me wearing it. I don’t remember what happened after that. I don’t think I sent them any “bad“ photos thankfully, I think I ended up blocking them about they said things that made me feel uncomfortable. I never told anybody about this, but I just thought of it randomly a few months ago and realized how disturbing it actually was
No. 304784
>>304286the same shit happened to me. only i never met her irl. it was on an anime streaming forum, this girl was a self described lesbian lolicon, she had her real pics on her profile of her and her little cousin, which is super creepy in hindsight.
she'd always post "cute" pseudo-lolicon shit in the chat and would DM me weird shit about loli/lesbians and claim a lot of my favorite characters in anime were actually lesbian. she also asked me about yaoi, which was weird to me. this was when i was age 12 when this happened and she was 17 in high school, or so she said, but who knows.
(i also got molested at age 7 by an 11 year old girl which really fucked me up and tore my family apart. and more recently some girl who was obsessed with me tried to get me arrested)
i guess i am just a target for mean lesbians…
No. 304990
>>303334Jesus anon, are you me?
Honestly i'm just like… sticking to therapy to try and get my hypersexuality fixed since a few years ago. It didn't help that my grandma and mom raised me as a daddy issues, self hating fatty who thought her only value lied in the appreciation of men, and i'm not even sexually attracted to men. Yet i would crave their attention online.
Like when i was 12 a 24yo guy from a online friend circle i was in sent me a dick pic and got me to send him nudes and i thought it was normal and fine until one of my friends, who already was a well-read feminist, called him on his bs when he sent her a dick pic. She was also in her 20's and was very worried about me when i told her i thought it was ok.
Sadly, i didn't listen to her and continued to sext men online and get high on the validation, since all i listened to at home was that i was ugly and needed a diet, predators online would tell me i was beautiful and sexy and oh so mature for my age.
This behavior bleeded a bit onto irl life and i found myself in the hands 20-something men at 13~14 quite frequently, even though i didn't have sex.
I got a boyfriend online at 16 because he was my best friend and i was feeling lonely and he was very shook by my hypersexual behavior, trying to send him nudes because i thought that'd make him happy and stupid bullshit like this. He didn't want me to send him anything at first but i managed to persuade him into cam sex later, which he noted i always appeared nervous and uncomfortable in and yet i'd go through with it despite him asking me 100 times if i really wanted to be naked on camera.
We broke up last year and i'm glad because he's still supporting me despite my BPD ass dragging him into a weird relationship for validation, but yikes.
No. 305119
File: 1538688534981.jpg (45.9 KB, 750x573, 1518042569017.jpg)
My teenage years are a rollercoaster of groomer after groomer. I don't even know when it started to be honest, I only really remember stuff that happened after 7th grade but I know for a fact terrible shit happened to me in elementary school online. I met every type of disgusting man: literal pedophiles who wanted to fuck young children, men who were just turned on by the fact I wasn't legal, men who didn't give a fuck about age and just wanted to abuse girls for nudes, and honestly I think I turned somewhat normal men into pedophiles after convincing them to talk to me and/or lying about my age and revealing it later. I fucking hate myself for this, I can't believe what a stupid child I was. As another anon said, I am fucking horrified I allowed myself to be a victim to these fucking pedophiles. What's worse is I fucking hated pedophiles since the beginning but I was so fucked up I just fucking wanted attention from anyone. I hated them and would scam them for money promising I would cam with them, get giftcards, then block them. But others I would just do stuff for them for free?? I don't fucking understand what was going through my fucking head. I could go into detail but it would be a literal fucking book length to talk about all the shit I went through. I'm 20 now and I feel so guilty about what I used to do. Sometimes I hate my current boyfriend for getting into a relationship with me a few months before I turned 18 despite the different circumstances of our relationship than that I had with my past boyfriends/abusers. I don't think I will ever feel like a normal person, at this point I feel like every fucking dude is a fucking pedophile or will potentially become one. I don't trust any of them. I realize I sound crazy, and it's embarrassing, but I wanted to get this off my chest.
No. 305159
>>305119>and honestly I think I turned somewhat normal men into pedophilesanon don't be dumb. these men knew they were talking to a young girl and played hard to get to shift the blame on you later.
"she WANTED it" means nothing when she is 12 and you're in your 20s, you're the adult, you put an end to it or you're predatory and reckless.
a quote i read a while ago said "if a child asks you for the car keys, you say no because they don't know how to drive, even if they think they do. why is sex different?"
also don't be fooled by "but i revealed my age later!!!!" it's pretty obvious if you're sexting a child or not and they knew. they all were pedos from the get-go. don't blame yourself.
No. 305444
File: 1538769789283.jpg (32.73 KB, 600x450, 1522875241214.jpg)
>>305426Good wishes to you too, anon. I'm in the same situation with my bf.
No. 305603
here's mine. i wasn't targeted so much by 1 man as by groups of actual pedophiles during the height of the pedophile apologia craze during the early-mid 2000's. sorry for the long blogpost. maybe someone else here around my age had similar experiences.
I was 11 or so, and my friend introduced me to Gaia Online. I was molested by my neighbor when I was 6, (who later ended up being a cop. And still is one!) So I had never told anyone about being abused, and always lived in fear. Then the internet came along. Now, I'd been on forums for a few years prior to this, but mostly just Pokemon or anime stuff that was pretty well-moderated. Gaia Online was not.
Gaia had a subforum called "ED", "Extended Discussion"- maybe some of you anons around on that time might remember this, but there was a time for a couple of years when ED discussions about Pedophilia would just blow up like crazy. I can't exactly remember how it happened, but I remember a user contacting me from one of the Pedophile threads, because I think I'd disclosed that I'd been molested as a child. Anyway, this dude began telling me that maybe the only reason I was traumatized was because I'd been raised to believe that sex was wrong, and he began to talk to me about the sexual liberation of children- shit like that.
I didn't understand what the hell he was going on about, but this guy sent me links to a rather well-known pedophile's activism website- this guy went under his full name and advocated for "Childlove rights" and I believe is one of the people who popularized the term "MAP/MAA". (He made up a few other peodphile apologia words, too, iirc) From there I was sent to a page this guy made, targeted at actual underage girls, about pedophilic relationships.
As a kid who never dealt with being sexually abused, I thought this would allow me to 'own' or 'get control over' my abuse. I began telling people online that I willingly had a sexual relationship at the age of 6 with a guy who was 17. Of course, that is fucking stupid, but I was a kid and had no idea how to cope.
Okay, anyway, so then I started to run in these circles with actual pedophiles after some of them started contacting me on Gaia. Mostly on Gaia, but occasionally I'd be on their 'turf'. They ran a lot of BBS sites during that time- two pretty big ones were one dedicated to pedophiles who went after girls, and another for pedophiles that went after boys. God, and they dressed it all up in flowerly language and called themselves "child/boy/girl lovers"- to a normal adult, this would've been obvious. To a 12 year old girl, it was not.
I even created and began posting to a blog when a few of these weirdos convinced me that I was a pedophile because I had a crush on a girl from my school who was a year younger than me (but in my grade), or that I had an abnormal sexual orientation (I cannot remember what they called it) because I had crushes on my teachers and stuff. (Like a reverse pedophile)My blog, that I had at that time (age 13-14?) was a full-blown pedophile advocacy blog. I had been pulled so far into this shit by people who knew I was a child that I was advocating for AoC laws to be abolished, and the legalization of child pornography. I was really fucked up.
There were people who protested these blogs- the peodphiles called them "antis". One of the blogs took aim at me and my advocacy- I wish they had reached out to me during that time. But they didn't believe I was a minor, and so, instead of trying to get a hold of me and get me out, they attacked me and asserted I was an adult male. I was not.
I was groomed with stories sent from one particular website that specialized in pedophilia fan "fiction", lolicon/shotacon porn, and just…so much shit. it was incredible that I came out of all of this okay.
Blogspot banned all pedophile advocacy blogs during when I was about 14 or so, and I shut mine down voluntarily, which began to help me get out of this dangerous environment. I sent pictures of my genitals/breasts to some people when I was about 15, and some of my pictures (not pornographic, just selifes) were posted on a particular chan board that was notorious at the time for posting borderline child porn. (I think they got shut down?) Gaia Online also shuttered all discussion on pedophilia, and I was banned. I have since tried to get my account purged, and pleaded with the admin that since I was being sexually groomed and was a minor, I really did not want all of that out there for everyone to see if someone had enough know-how to google my name. alas.
Pedophile activist man shut his shit down around that time too, since, surprise surprise, as it turns out, advocating for sexually abusing kids makes you kind of unemployable. I had one guy who kept IM'ing me on AIM, though, talking about having sex with me and stuff. He did this until I was about 17, when shut my AIM down.
My family never found out about me. But my poor brother. He had it worse.
He is gay and my family's pretty conservative. He was groomed into sending nudes of himself to men online when he was younger than I was. (it must've started when he was 9 or 10) I am certain it fucked him up terribly. I turned out okay though- other than depression and anxiety and being an autist- all of which I already had- I didn't develop and personality issues/PTSD/hypersexuality, but that all remains the darkest time in my life, and I would love for all of it to go away.
It scares me that pedophile apologia is becoming sort of mainstream again. I hope it gets shut down, because this is some cycle of abuse shit that happens to kids. Pedophiles prey on kids in a lot of different ways. I saw first hand how they preyed on me to get me to 'willingly' work with them and be an 'activist' for their cause.
No. 305635
>>305603Jesus Christ that is disgusting. It terrifies me that the pedo acceptance community is trying to worm it's way into tumblr, the social media for socially awkward teens. They are really trying to push the ~good non-offending pedophile~ narrative.
I've also stumbled upon the revese pedophile term, but I don't remember it - I think it might be Adult Attracted Minor or some shit like that.
I'm glad that people at tumblr and kiwifarms are resisting the pedo narrative.
I wish that chemical castration (why not with antidepressants? kek) was a legalized thing. At the moment I see it as the only solution beyond isolating child predators in closed communities.
No. 305651
>>305635Yes. The "Non-offending pedo" was a big meme they were pushing back then too. They called themselves childlovers and insisted that they loved children- would you ever hurt someone you loved? Spoiler alert- a lot of these freaks ended up getting busted for CP.
I do not feel sorry for pedophiles. I firmly believe that they are broken freaks and need to be on medication to suppress their sexual urges if they're so bothered by them.
Jerking off to porn, erotica, etc., only strengthens the neural pathways in the brain- making the desire stronger. It's how my view of sexuality was completely warped. Until I was an adult myself, I had a very fucked up view of sexuality because some of the first porn I was exposed to was weird loli/shota/extremely graphic "erotica" about kids. Now, over a decade later, I am doing a lot better. But I genuinely believed it was normal for men to want a girl that looked prepubescent, so when I was about 16 or 17 or so, I became depressed that I was getting "old".
I thought that men would find my sexual "experience" at a young age enticing and attractive…you know, being molested by a guy who was supposed to be babysitting you. :( Luckily, my husband understands I was abused and doesn't blame me for my issues.
No. 305660
>>305651I am so sorry for the terrible things that happened to you both irl and online, anon. I am glad that you found a decent man to love that understand you.
I also do not feel sorry for pedophiles but also wonder if there is a better way of handling the problem. I wish we could make them feel so ashamed and scared of being outed that they would willingly let themselves be castrated. It would be win-win for anyone. But I am probably wrong in assuming that there are many pedophiles who see their sickness as wrong. I bet they are proud of being the cancer of the society and a danger to children.
>you know, being molested by a guy who was supposed to be babysitting youSort of OT but THIS IS WHY nobody trusts men with taking care of children. Men should shut the fuck up and understand that even if they are a decent person, it it normal for others to mistrust them and not take it personally. It's better if a child is taught to be vary of men (and maybe waste a chance to get helped by an okay man instead of a woman) than for someone POS abuse that trust.
Because of my online grooming experiences, I became terrified of being bad influence on younger people (not just children, and not even in a sexual way), and I am a woman. I do not understand why men are not more careful about this kind of thing….
No. 305665
>>305660Most pedophiles I've met online, even more recently (I've been contacted by some when I share my story of being abused- they often ask for tips or tricks for how to engage in advocacy) are very sneaky and proud of their "sexual orientation".
They're playing a game on people's emotions. "Oh, we don't WANT this attraction ;_;" They'll often wall themselves off in secluded online communities- either on their BBS sites, or TOR (maybe less now) sites. Riddle me this- if you were truly ashamed of your attraction- why the FUCK would you go to the deep web or a secluded community on the goddamn INTERNET? That's like an alcoholic going to a bar to try to 'get help'.
Many of these pedo freaks of nature don't see anything wrong with their attraction. A lot of them do a lot of goalpost-moving. You'll hear a lot of people, I've especially seen this on reddit, mention "hebephilia" or "ephebophilia". When I see those terms, I shut that shit down. A hebephile is a pedophile with a thesaurus, after all.
The best way to deal with pedophiles? Drive them back underground. Get them the FUCK away from the mainstream. Do NOT give these freaks of nature a platform. They do NOT need "understanding!", because if you give a pedo an inch, they'll take a mile.
Send them to therapy. DBT would probably be useful + libido-killing antidepressants. And when I hear a pedo go 'boo-hoo my sexuality!', I'll bring up mine- which was permanently altered because some fuckbag decided to try to perform child 'love' on me when I was 6.
When your community isn't destroying innocent lives and creating cycles of abuse, maybe you can have a platform. But pedophilia is straight-up dependent on the exploitation and harm of defenseless people.
It will never be okay. Burn all pedophiles.
No. 305669
>>305667No problem, anon. I don't meet too many people who had to suffer through this. This is not something a lot of people know about. A lot of people think the only danger here is kids getting their nudes or exposed to porn, but, this is shit that can and does still happen.
Some people on the pedo apologism thread over of KF wondered - why did it seem like so many of the MAP activists are minors themselves? Because they probably are.
I kind of wish we could have a thread on these freaks to keep an eye on their activism shit.
No. 305822
>>305166If they tried fucking other 16 year olds after you, you're not the problem.
As a lesbian if i started dating a minor without knowing it's a minor (which is pretty hard to miss, maybe on the internet you can hide it better but irl it's obvious) i'd fuck off as soon as i learned it. Then i WOULDN'T purposefully go after other teenagers because that's fucking vile and if i was open to dating minors i'd be a degenerate from the start.
No. 305857
I was abused irl when I was 6-9 and a lot of my childhood is just really really fuzzy. I was online a lot from the age of maybe 10 but I was blessed never to run into any pedos, as far as I can remember.
A couple of years ago when I was maybe 18 I got musical.ly and noticed how many fucking pedos were on there. I started reporting like crazy, on instagram, YouTube etc, which I still do.
Ok so I have a major babyface, I get people thinking I'm still at school all the time
When I was around 19 I joined OkCupid and got so many fucking messages from middle aged men asking if I was sure if I was really 19 "I don't mind if you're not ;)" etc literally. So many. Obviously I deleted my profile but this gave me an idea.
First I went on a random video chat app and firstly, a lot of people would angrily say you're too young to be on here and skip me, bless them.
Those who didn't skip would ask me my age, I would say guess and they'd say anything from 9-14. Mostly around 11 or 12, they would then proceed to be creepy fuckheads who I would report.
Anyway, now I know what age I passed as I made a private musical.ly and Instagram and would message men who commented disgusting things on children's posts.
They would ask how I was, I'd say 11, they'd ask for a picture, I'd send one. They would then either be very sexually explicit from
the start or want to be my friend, which would then turn to grooming. I would sort of reverse groom them, gather a lot of information about them, maybe send a few more photos but made sure they'd send some back. Then I would gather all of my information about then and report them to the relevant police website for their country. I have done this with literally hundreds of men and there's so many more out there.
I don't do it anymore as I know it's really really unhealthy. I do have a lot of mental health issues which I've had counselling and therapy for since I was 11 but I'm still basically a nutcase. I just hate pedophiles so much, like obsessively so. Sorry for blog post lmao.
No. 306085
>>305857You are my hero too anon.
I would do the same had I had a youthful appearance… Now I'm considering catfishing for that purpose.
Hope that you fucked their shit up.
No. 306214
>>303056I'm not sure if I was groomed. I'm 21 now, and it was going on from since I was 10 until I was maybe 16? I had started using the internet a lot more because my parents were going through a messy divorce so it was really hard to talk to them, and both of them worked in the day. So I'd just be home alone a lot. And in terms of friends- I was just very isolated at school. I would go online on Omegle and just try to talk to random people to pass the time, but then I found out about things like roleplaying and cybering. After learning about it, I did it more and more often, and since Omegle is anonymous I'd just do that with whoever was willing. After a while when I found that I liked their style, I'd add them on other platforms for frequently roleplay and friendship. When I look back on it, it feels so alien. A bunch of grown men were the only people I could call friends at the time, and kind of the only people I wanted to be my friends? At school kids my age didn't really want to be friends with me while those men were so much easier to appease. Some were depressed, some were probably predators, some were just things beyond of what I could comprehend at that time. But I had been exposed to so much so early, so eventually it came to be the norm. I just wanted attention.
Most of these relationships were highly sexual, and I don't feel… traumatized by the experience? Mostly ashamed. Luckily I never sent them any nude pics or anything like that, but one by one they left in some way. Either getting mad that I wouldn't comply with something gross, getting uninterested, maybe they themselves realized that they shouldn't be talking to me who knows. But for a long time I felt really abandoned and only tried to seek out more attention from bad company. It took a long time to get over that. Now that I'm older, I feel like it affected me sexually.I'm a very sexual person and honestly, I don't want to be. I feel like something is wrong with me. At the same time, it really took away a lot of my youth? I never attempted to seek out actual healthy relationships while growing up and so now that I'm an adult honestly it has me terrified as I have no idea how to be with… anyone? I'm not super depressed, or feel super worthless or anything this is just my thoughts. I'm not sure if this related to the thread but I wanted to talk about my experience anyway.
No. 306676
when i was 13 i was an avid runescape player, and the amount of predators on that game was absolutely insane. i haven't played in years because the game went to shit and i bet the predation on there has only gotten worse, but i digress. i was 13 and obviously a sexually confused preteen girl. of course i was stupid.
there were a lot of men pretending to be girls so they could easily befriend me, and many would pretend to be lesbians. i hate thinking about these interactions, but i'm lucky that after talking to these people, even befriending them for a while, i had a bad feeling and stopped eventually. but god, looking back at those memories… men are so fucked up.
they would always try to sext me (well it was called cybering at the time) and it made me so uncomfortable. they had no shame and would always try to convince me i was a lesbian (because they were pretending to be girls, usually.) i am not gay, and this fucked me up a bit for a while about my sexuality, and at such a young age. i remember a lot would get frustrated and eventually come out as actually being a man. one in particular was this 17 year old named Damien, i remember an instance of him asking if i was horny. i also remember this guy getting legitimately ANGRY at me for saying i didn't masturbate, never had, and didn't want to. god, men are disgusting.
in the end, i remember being mostly nonsexual with many of them. i tried to start "all-girl" clans because i was a fucking kid and it backfired so hard. most of the guys were nice and would end up coming out to me as a guy, and would genuinely apologize and stop talking to me. it's like they knew i was a smart kid and wasn't gonna let myself get manipulated by them. in a way, i'm very lucky it never escalated, and kinda proud of my younger self for not giving a shit about older men. i didn't have friends, and that was when my eating disorder was first developing, so i just wanted to have people to talk to.
we were kids who just wanted to connect with others, it's not your fault if someone groomed and manipulated you at all; it's completely on the disgusting adult who couldn't keep it in his pants and has no sense of morality.
No. 306705
>>305857eeeh. not to burst your bubble anon, but that can get you in a lot of serious trouble. you yourself could get accused of entrapment.
plus, the police aren't really allowed to use that evidence since there's no real crime going on. essentially all you've been doing is roleplaying as an 11 year old for creepy men, and showing that to the police.
not trying to be a downer, but i just don't think anyone else should try this.
No. 306806
>>306717the police can do that here, but you can get in trouble for entrapment if you do it where i live though.
>>306718you need to be 18+ to post here.
No. 306814
>>306718>defending pedosBitch where? Anon is right, how is it in *defense of pedos to warn other anons against taking matters into their own hands when may result in it blowing up in their face? Even the damn police in my country can do sting operations and not get sufficient evidence. Plus, if anon is sending pics the guy could find out where she lives and go after her.
Shit sounds too scary to risk.
I'd say it's perfectly reasonable to just tell someone you're underage and then report their SN etc. to the police. But sending photos and having ongoing chats sounds so dangerous.
No. 306875
>>306814She wasn't doing it to try and serve the community, it was just a personal obsession of hers. She didn't advise anyone else do it.
I do admire her though, I don't care if someone could get in trouble for doing so. She's obviously an extreme case where she looks so young that she fooled that many creeps. Most people wouldn't pull it off in the first place.
So, deterring anons from doing something they are unlikely to even do, or pull off sounds sufficiently needy and paranoid to have been typed by a spooked pedo/pedo wannabe. It's so unlikely to happen, why bother "deterring" unless it is in your own interests?
In the unlikely event anyone was inspired and also looks literally 12, obviously research the relevant laws and look after your personal safety. But the pedo creeps are the ones in the wrong here, not anon.
No. 306965
>>306875no one said anon was wrong, just that it's dangerous. stop accusing everyone ITT of being pedos/pedo sympathizers
>>306814 even suggested a safer way to go about it. ffs, learn to read and get your finger off the
trigger.
No. 309194
File: 1539455519255.jpg (666.35 KB, 1663x2751, a73e3adcf826e1b03ed216483f6fbc…)
>“People into moé are losers in the love market. In order for them to feel secure and happy, their partner has to be younger and appear to be within their control.”
-Morinaga Takuro, economic analyst and university lecturer
Stumbled upon this in an article about moe and felt like this quote belongs here. It's an excerpt from The Moe Maniphesto and tells you all that you need to know about fucks seeking children/teenagers to control and abuse.
No. 309207
>>309194anon stop. this has nothing to do with pedos online.
gross.
No. 309316
>>309207How does the quote has nothing to do with pedos? This is literally their attitude and reason why they seek young people (and why so many pedos are into animu, but that is another topic). I found it a perfect description of their thinking.
Dunno what gross do you see about the post.
No. 317361
>>312844that sucks, no one should care about pedo suicides. Boohoo I ruined (or attempted to ruin) kids' lives and innocence, must kms to escape justice.
Be my fucking guest than, better late than never tbh
No. 317549
>>306901>>306964>>312844TCAP got shut down for two reasons; they relied on people basically catfishing creeps online, and while it wasn't entrapment in the strict legal sense, there were problems with getting chat logs and things admissible as evidence.
Like, entrapment is usually a state actor (like, say, a cop)
compelling you to commit a criminal act you wouldn't have committed otherwise. If they tell you they're dying of bone cancer but they would be healed if you would just pretty please embezzle that money from your work, that's entrapment. If they leave a bunch of money sitting out and you take it, not entrapment.
Personally I think people just got bored of watching chris hanson smug it up at terrified pedos and they just cancelled the show. That shit was entertaining for like 3 episodes, but then it was meh.
Also anons posting here, sorry these things happened to you.
No. 318077
File: 1540901749645.png (261.86 KB, 457x380, 1448446693578.png)
>>305603I'm so sorry you had to go through all that weirdness and confusion anon, and I'm amazed you made it out on the other side able to reflect on it with as much objectivity as you have. Those are impressionable years and I know firsthand how convincing and persistent those sick fucks can be about their "platform". If/when you ever feel comfortable, maybe consider writing some sort of extended essay or article about your experience — even anonymously? It strikes me as an important story to be heard.
having said that… I think I might know which site you're referring to. It's funny I should read this because I actually dug up a screenshot recently from 8 or 9 years ago, I remember taking it because I was so baffled by what I was reading/looking at the time. I can't remember how or why I was linked to it though. For context, I also grew up on the Internet/forums and I remember watching a lot of this happen, to myself and others… I didn't engage with any of them on a personal level the way you did, however.
Fuck, now that I'm writing this out, I'm struck with a memory of happening across a pedophile discussion board even earlier in my life. I was lonely growing up (only child) and enamored by the idea of chat rooms and online interaction so again, I'd lurked sites/boards since age ~7, and this one… again x2, can't remember how I stumbled across it, and in hindsight it's kind of crazy to me how it was able to exist so openly and in such plain sight in the firs place? Anyway, I specifically recall reading them talking about Emma Watson… it was when she first cut her hair off into a pixie and they were lamenting her old, cuter looks. posting her most "attractive eras". I remember being the age some were talking about, and looking at the photos of 12 year old Emma Watson as an insecure 12 year old all I could think was, "Wow, she's way prettier than me, they'd never say that about me." ugh.
No. 318118
I'm not sure if I would consider this as child grooming but I'll throw this out there.
When I was 12, I still coping with the loss of my cousin, who died two years prior and I needed to take something to take my mind off of it. Before her death, I mainly used the internet to play games, typical kid shit but after she died, I just needed a friend who I can talk to. Playing games didnt help me much and I was always so shy of talking to people both IRL and online, to the point where I had difficulty making friends but I decided to be a big girl and search for online friends.
I don't remember what site it was but it was a chatroom that had adults in it. I made an account on there but never revealed my age on my profile. Everyone on there had photos of themselves but I didn't, since I didn't have much photos of myself to begin with so I just used a Hello Kitty pic as my avatar.
Because of that, I didn't get a lot of messages but one guy stuck out to me.
I don't remember his name but he had messaged me and we talked for a while and I revealed that I was actually 12. He said he was 28. I also told him that I had lost my cousin and that I was too sad and too scared to say anything about it to my family, because they moved on and I haven't.
The guy claimed he understood but he suggested one way to cope with my loss and to forget about it for a while. He asked if I had touched myself down there.
I had no idea what he meant by that but he explained it and I felt so gross by it because "that's where I pee from!!!" He kept trying to get me to do it and send pictures of me but I got too scared, too disgusted and felt betrayed because i had thought he was my friend. I blocked him and deleted my account. Thank god nothing major happened but I avoided chatrooms ever since, afraid that I would be messed with again
No. 320203
>>320023My own experiences are much milder than most in this thread but
>I became hyper sexual Even though nothing too serious happened (no sexual pics, or full-fledged relationships) I started acting in a hyper sexual manner.
Looking back on those years, it's most likely because those men were disgusting and often talked about porn, but I was semi aware of what I was doing, and in my mind I was spiting them. "Here, I'm acting the way you keep pushing me to! Is this ridiculous porny attitude what you want?"
I wanted to be treated like their male friends so badly, but because I knew it would never happen, I settled on "acting out" and trying to freak them out.
No. 320545
>>303071>Ive learned what a healthy relationship is I've never learned this and I think that's the biggest scar from all of my experiences.
My internet predator was 8 years older than me, we started talking before I had my first period. We kept in touch for years before he took my virginity after I turned 18 and graduated from high school. He had relationships throughout this whole time and would "vent" about his gfs to me.
When were about to start having sex, he would call me and start jerking off while I talked about completely non-sexual things. He later confessed that he would jerk off thinking about me in the shower when I was 13.
It was mostly long distance. When he was in town he would get a hotel room, or sneak me into his dad's house, or come over when my mom wasn't home. The last time I saw him I was 20. I caught on to the fact that he was grooming other girls, and asking them to send naked pictures, like he had asked me after I turned 18. I was understandably angry, but he gaslit me and got angry and changed the password on his laptop.
The last time we had sex he told me I was "a woman now" (ie useless to him) and I never saw him again. He changed his emails constantly for work and has a very common name, so there's no way for me to ever track him down for legal reasons. He has a very respectable job, thinking about the number of people he could have access to horrifies me… I hope someone catches him some day, he should be in prison.
No. 382588
When I was about 11, I met a guy in the yahoo chat room for RP who swore he was 16 but just 'looked a lot older'. Had no problem having his 'friends' jump into our chats and webcam chats to swear up and down he was his age. He definitely looked in his late twenties, not remotely close to a teen. We kind of called each other 'online bf/gf'. He seemed to have problems with other 'teen girls', said it was from being in a small town in Illinois. I believed him, I was in a small town too and couldn't ever meet anyone that was also alt/into geek stuff. We webcam chatted, but he never pushed sexual stuff. Not until I was about 14/15, we weren't together anymore, I'd moved on to a guy in my state who was actually cute and proven to be his age, in high school and only a couple years older. He started talking about having sex with girls at cons, about how he wanted to meet me at a con and hang out later in his hotel room. I told my current online bf and he told me to block him, especially because he was concerned the guy was actually in his 30's. I did, and he continued to try and get at me with sock puppet accounts. I am very lucky nothing bad happened but I am aware of how dangerous it was now. I sometimes wonder if he cyber-stalks me 10 years later. He was a very large man compared to his friends, and was in wrestling, so it kind of scares me to think about.
No. 382595
>>382589The age difference between a 16 and 18 year old isn't that significant.
Meanwhile, a 13 year old and a 17 year old are at vastly different stages both emotionally and developmentally.
Most 13 year olds are still in middle school. Girls are going through puberty at that age. A 17 year old is a high school senior, and almost a legal adult.
I don't know if you remember being young, but I remember being a freshman in high school and thinking the seniors seemed so much older and more experienced than I was. Because it's true. Then when I became a senior, anyone under junior level looked like little bratty kids to me.
There's clearly coercion and power at play when one person holds significantly more maturity and physical presence over someone else. It's inappropriate.
No. 382604
>>382595>>382601This is really fucking stupid and inconsiderate for actual
victims.
Wrong? Yes. Child grooming? No.
USA is fucking stupid when it comes to age of consent laws because of this whole Ima put dis 18 year old pedo to death row for fugging a 16 year old.
Not saying I would allow my 13 year old daughter to date a 17 year old, but I’d raise her well. At that age you’re old enough to say no to a 17 fucking year old because they’re both retards at that age.
No. 382607
>>382589wow you are so brave anon, thank god you blessed us with your well-researched words of truth.
Truly nothing wrong with trying to lure a 13 y/o out of home's safety to stick your dick in her
No. 382609
>>382607It’s legal where I live, though.
Anyways let’s drop this subject. It’s stupid.
No. 382616
>>382609Not legal where I live, especially since you are an adult at 18.
16 y/o and 18 y/o are legal (and not fucked up provided there is not something wrong with the people involved).
Sex with anyone younger than 15 y/o is statutory.
No. 382631
>>382604Acknowledging that someone is a
victim doesn't take away
victim status from somebody else.
A 17 year old is almost a legal adult. A 13 year old might not have even had a period yet.
It's a creepy as fuck age gap because of the different stages of life. The four year gap would be nothing if they were both adults, but one of them is just entering a teenage stage of life while the other has lived through most of it.
No. 382634
>>382628Yeah, sure, developmental differences between young teens and almost adults are also a societal construct.
Besides, that's a strange hill to die on.
No. 382635
File: 1551563066030.jpeg (51.22 KB, 645x729, DF3DCACB-8D5C-43AF-867C-881CF2…)
>>382629I am sorry for bringing it up.
No. 382645
>>382640His wife is the transman, kek.
Of course that's fucked up, anon. I said that cause Onion he always pulls the ~it's legal so nothing wrong with dating a girl barely out of high school~ argument.
No. 382651
>>382645>his wife is the transmanLmao
No I did not imply that, just am saying the laws are more fucked up than I am, am quite mild actually if you consider I do not approve it if a 16 year old can basically legally get groomed by a literal 45 year old whom she calls daddy. Of course I don’t encourage it, don’t even encourage the teen big age gaps but I would rather the law fix the couples that consists of 42 year old dating 16 year old etc… than the teen age gaps first, to be honest. Because let’s be honest, a 13 year old who starts being sexually active, and we know there are a lot of them, and there’s nothing we can do about it, is not gonna date a 10 year old.
No. 382757
I feel pretty bad for writing this down because it's certainly not as worse as all the other stories on here (hugs for all of you anons) but coming back across this thread made me suddenly remember something I usually don't, like i almost forgot it actually happened. I was 11-12 on a Taylor Swift forum, the old one on her official site, most of the users were girls but there were some males there too, especially older ones. I got a private message from one who struck up a convo with me, we chatted casually for a little bit then he asked me if I wanted to play a game. He said to drink as much water as i could and hold in my pee and tell him how desperate I was getting. I got pretty freaked out at that point but I went along and said i drank one glass of water, just to see how he would react I guess, and he said to describe how it felt and he forced me not to use the bathroom yet and wait until I was bursting. I was paralysed with fear and stopped messaging him after that, but i still looked at the messages he sent me, saying he was sorry and to come back and we could play a different game. I soon forgot about it afterwards and honestly very rarely think about it, but when I do i feel really icky and disgusted. I guess I just try to ignore it as best as I can so I don't need to confront how uncomfortable the memory makes me feel.
No. 383075
>>382817I had a similar experience, except I was thirteen and I wasn’t an edge lord.
However, I’d go on chat forums and talk to older men there and trick them to going to fake addresses. Or "troll" them to the best of my preteen abilities.
They always told me age is just a number and bullshit. I didn’t disagree back then cause I thought I was as mature as an adult… but looking back… remembering how they talked about me and age really grosses me out. I feel sick thinking about it.
No. 383119
>>382907>>383084>>382919>>383084oof i didn't even see how many replies this got! to clarify, i didn't get any money from them like the other anon. they just lost money because of me (phone bills etc.) as i wasn't even aware that i was doing anything illegal with them to extort them or something. i was pretty naive. i'm not underage, a robot or have severe mental issues either lol. i think i was just kind of oblivious to how serious any of it was? it seemed more like a game to me and i never took any of their emotions or words seriously.
also to the anon who asked how i almost made him kill himself… well to be honest i don't think i did anything in particular other than being a petulant child and talking about how i like another guy better and since these are emotionally stunted and gross pedo adults the suicide baiting came out pretty quickly. i also gave them fake addresses whenever they wanted to visit me and then just not pick up the phone when they called (i had a shitty nokia phone) so they were stranded and upset etc etc.
my parents were suuuuper naive as to how dangerous the internet can be and had really no clue on how to even google things so i had a lot of freedom i shouldn't have had. i was lucky that i never had anything happen to me as i was, as i said, truly oblivious to how dangerous and serious this all was.
No. 383775
Man, I wish I would've known better when I was 14. I online dated someone who was close to being 20. He was from some (fairly decent size) online group/website. I had known the dude for about 3 years and had been good friends (with nothing creepy). He had asked me out the day he had asked out a mutual friend who was 12-13. She had the intelligence to reject him. He also had recently broken up with his previous gf who was a about 2-3 years younger. Anyway, I agreed. The relationship started off nice, but it quickly turned into him insisting I tell him everything. He also told me a bunch of weird shit he had done/had happened to him. It was overwhelming. Fights would happen that resulted in me not talking to him for a few days since I had an excuse to just fucking do what I want for once. He'd be really weird about if I was awake, online on any other site, talking to anyone else, but not talking to him. Basically, for these months, I had to spend everyday talking to him. There was some sexual stuff, but I'd rather not go into details. There was the typical 'ur so mature' shit. One point he admitted he liked how much younger I was. Anyway, I was also expected to do (normal) video chat with him even if I didn't want to. Fights would result if he didn't. I started feeling insecure about a lot of things as I came to several different realisations from red flags I had ignored. We broke up because he picked a fight over me turning the lamp off as a joke so he couldn't see my face. Well, it was initially we agreed for a break, actually. However, he kept messaging me, he would specifically go to parts of site I was on to try to talk to me etc, and I kept telling him to fucking leave me alone for a bit. He got angry with me because one day I just ignored him since he had broken the agreement several times. Finally broke up with him for real after that. He continued to message my family through facebook and turned my friends (not even mutuals) to his side and convince them I didn't know what I wanted, all of this was because I was stressed due to irl issues, some different lies, etc. A mutual, who I considered my bff, was mad at me since she chose to believe him without asking me about any of the deets. People he had maybe seen/spoke to twice were getting harassed. One who actually stuck by my side had to tell him to fuck off 3 times. When he messaged my family, he told them issues I had made imperative that they not find out. He tried to tell a well-known 'secret about a mutual' and lied about another. Several times he had asked if we could be friends after all of this, which I said maybe/probably, he would immediately turn it to we could give the relationship another try no matter how many times I said fuck no.
I know this story is literally nothing compared to some of you other anons, but it still fucked me up. I felt a bit suicidal from the paranoia that resulted. I've left out several other details just in case he somehow stumbles across this. I wasn't 100% stupid. I feel like if I was truly aware of how fucked up it is to date someone that much older at my age, I wouldn't have done it. Shit got skewed from seeing other such relationships, the fact I had been friends with him for a while, and I probably didn't view adults as I really should since I befriended so many (several of whom I'm still good friends with and they've 100% never been creepy). Constantly we hear pedos are people attracted to kids, but I feel like it's too vague and leaves kids like I was unaware of what should be considered fucked up until it's too late
No. 390689
i was 14, he was 25. i didn't have friends or a good relationship with my family, and he capitalized on that by acting the father figure. i would sit in my room on webcam with him all day, excluding when i was at school or he was at work.
he bought me tons of things–mostly stuffed animals, cute clothes, video games, and snacks. he most often bought them for me when i was "being good," which meant playing along with his elaborate CSA fantasies.
didn't remain fantasies for long. about two years in we met up and he took my virginity. lots of violent kink stuff. this happened over and over for about a week, 'til he had to fly home. there would be 3 or 4 more visits like this.
on the first visit, he proposed to me. i was 16. i had been groomed for 2 years at this point and still had no friends. i accepted and thought it was the most amazing thing ever.
the worst part is the moments that felt tender at the time, but upon reflection were just part of the grooming. reading me stories, playing games together, being consoled when i cried. i spent over 4 years with him, until i was sexually assaulted by my neighbor and realized that the man grooming me was no better. i came out on the other end a socially inept highschool graduate with no friends and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
i still miss aspects of the grooming, which makes me feel really awful, but that's kind of the point. i miss knowing there was somebody who would comfort and console me, no matter the size of the problem. i miss being kept company at night.
he really fucked up my understanding of relationships. i kept dating with the expectation that my partner would take responsibility for everything, pay for everything, and act the paternal figure, because that's what i was used to. only recently did i realize this was wrong.
i hate how common this is.
No. 390711
>>390689I’m sorry for everything you went through anon. Honestly, those things you miss in a relationship aren’t inherently wrong or evil. You want to be cared for and comforted, those are perfectly good desires. Has nothing to do with the person that abused you. Your parental figures failed to give you something important and some asshole took advantage of that. Don’t beat yourself up for wanting love and attention in the first place.
Of course it isn’t reasonable to have your partner be entirely responsible for you, you’ll have to learn to let go of that. But you can find a partner who will play that care giver role for you when you need a breather!
I regress sometimes; my partner would do gentle, doting things for me without ever making sexual or even romantic advances during that time. It really helped deprogramming me from the belief that I have to offer up my body in order to deserve love. Wish you the best anon.
No. 390745
>>383775>I wish I would've known better when I was 14It's so sad to see anons say this, there's no way to expect kids to be fully critical of what adults are telling them. I sometimes feel stupid for the things I fell for but then when I talk to an actual teen girl of that age I realise how insane it is to put those expectations on baby me. The whole "she led him on" thing gets told to us so many times that we internalize it even when we logically know that a grown
abuser is the only person that should be blamed for grooming a child.
>>390677Why the hell would you ask that question in this thread? Can't tell if bait or wild levels of tone deaf
No. 391179
>>391128Only real childgroom case itt with the consequences along with it, again real
victims get dismissed and pseudo-
victims get all the sympathy of the world. I feel sorry for you and I can‘t express in words how much you didn‘t deserve it. Try consulting a lawyer and get him in prison, I hope you‘re in USA too since jail time there is 9 out of 10 times permanently life ruining in this case justice. Fuck whoever broke your heart. Fuck pigs and fuck whores.
No. 391185
>>391179>Only real case of childgroomCan you fuck off with this bullshit? You can comfort a CSA
victim without discrediting othe-
>"fuck whores">in a thread about CSAOh, never mind. I mistakenly assumed this post was made by an actual human being.
I want this scrote invasion to end already. Stop shitting up this place with your worthless opinions that stem purely from ">tfw no gf".
No. 391189
>>391188What does anything I said have to do with femcels?
Scrote or not, my point still stands. Stop shitting up the thread by trying to validate one person's trauma via invalidating everyone else's.
No. 391193
>>3911891. you‘re derailing
2. when you supposedly realized i wasn‘t a low iq nu-lolcow poster you called me a scrotie/guy
3. stop (you)‘ing me and trying to force your cancerous ideas upon others on a malaysian knitting board. We all have different ideas and the point of an anonymous imageboard is not to have the same cancer idea, but multiple of them as we’re anonymous. With other words fuck off and leave me alone :).
(derailing) No. 391528
>>303056A close friend of mine was groomed starting at 13 by a 18/19 yr old on tumblr whom she considered her 'girlfriend' named 'rose'. In reality he was a 'nonbinary' male and convinced her she was a male and bought her a binder, she did cam shows for him and their relationship was a "full-time bdsm" one. Thank god it was at least long distance. When I heard about this having happened years later I was irate, she didn't even recognize it as abuse until I pointed out how messed up the age gap and dynamics at play were. I dont know where he is at now but I wish I did so I could report him to the police because I doubt he stopped doing this.
This is actually very common on tumblr. It's terrible.
No. 391663
has anyone here considered taking legal action against their abusers? i'm not sure what the exact statute of limitations are for everything, especially since we might live in different countries, but… given the opportunity, would you?
i'm only asking because i'm considering it myself, and would like to hear other people's perspectives. after talking to a friend, it really clicked with me that i was a kid being taken advantage of by an adult, who crossed state lines just to do so.
>>390711thanks for the well wishes and sound advice, all the best
No. 392142
>>391663I honestly would've gone to the police but my abuser is rich and nationally famous. His lawyers probably would've gotten him out of it and i'd be known as "the girl who made fake rape accusations to get media attention" or whatever…
I thought i had no chance against him because i thought it's not rape when you're already 19, drunk and no vaginal penetration happened.
Honestly just go for it unless the process would be too traumatic for you. Those men need to be punished.
No. 392158
>>391663I've been involved in reporting people who fuck with other girls online or who say damning stuff (teachers talking about their students or generally saying pedo shit for instance)
Unfortunately I was too young and stupid to have done the same for myself, but I take pride in knowing that I can always help out other women and girls even if just by spreading the word that someone is a scumbag.
No. 415475
>>391663I’m late but I would if I still had evidence, particularly in your case. Crossing state lines adds to the crime. Of course it depends on the statute of limitations which varies state to state.
Really, what I’ve considered doing is finding other
victims prior to taking a case to court.
No. 424239
>>303063Me too. There was this one guy who came into my notes back when I used to draw lolicon shit as a dumb teen and this 40 something year old guy was trying to get me into how sexy little girls were and how his art made him feel good and shit like that and I decided never to draw that kinda stuff again. I relized by drawing that kinda stuff I was giving guys like that a chance to hurt me and I went "You know maybe I shouldn't be drawing this kinda stuff?" I blocked him and went on with my life. Later on I found out he was a big lolcow with a ED and everything.
See>
https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/TyciolYeah it was this guy.
No. 424255
>>318077I'm the original anon you quoted, and yeah. I've talked about it in a few places. I change details slightly but it's something I try to get out. Every few months or so, I flashback to all of it and I start getting anxious, and it makes me feel compelled to talk about it and say something.
I know that it could all come back and bite me in the arse if someone finds out my old handles and connects them to me, but I've been getting myself ready to face that some day. I have some old IRL acquaintances who were sort-of aware of what I was doing online, but we were all kids ourselves, so it wasn't like they could help me.
I did come out relatively okay. I had issues with my sexuality for a long time- I'm doing better now, but it is very damaging to you when, in your formative years, you see some pretty sexually messed-up shit. I am so, so, SO glad I never got close enough to those freaks that I was groomed with anything full-on illegal, but boy were some of these people bad. I know several people on some of the aforementioned sites ended up busted for illegal stuff.
Although I'm doing relatively okay, I've been considering to get therapy to work through some of the pain I feel. I have a few buddies who have kids now, and they're nearing the age I was when I was first abused, and so it's really hard for me and makes me cry at times because I remember how quickly my life began to derail all because some pedo fucker came after me. It's probably good I'm not a parent myself, because I think at this stage in my life and even with a lot of support, I worry that I would become overbearing and overprotective and I think it would be too difficult for me to handle the idea that my kid could fall
victim to someone like I did.
I remember being 8 or 9 and just living in paralyzing fear that one day, someone would discover my secret of being abused, and then…I don't know. would he go to jail? (Almost certainly) would I get hurt more? I just didn't want to be discovered and it was painful to grow up with. Like a crushing weight that you carry around and can't get off no matter what. Now that people know I was sexually abused, I carry a second burden of knowing I 'willingly' (and I use that term pretty tongue-in-cheek) advocated for the very people who first hurt me. But that was years and years ago now, and I'd like to thnik most adults are sensible enough to understand I was being badly hurt and in a very dangerous situation.
No. 424332
unfortunately when i was 12-16 i was groomed by multiple men online. Mostly in chat rooms, some men i hardly remember but there were some in particular that stuck in my memory.
I’ve been into art every since i was 10 years old. Upon joining the internet and looking for other artists i discovered a website where you can draw with people while chatting. I met a large variety of people. Nice people, weird people, & pedophiles.
I had taken a liking to this website so much that i went on there daily to chat with my “friends”
fast toward a year or two i found this website (should i name?) where you can chat/role play with strangers, this same website/chatroom was popular on anime streaming sites. I always set my age older than what i was. I’d say i’m 16/17 when in reality i was only 13. This didn’t stop 18+ year olds from sexually messaging me and telling me to touch myself for them.
At this time smart phones were just coming out and i got one for christmas. My internet usage was never monitored, i knew how to clear my history too. I was texting strangers i barely knew, sending them pictures of my (clothed) body and “other” things they’d request…. I regret ever letting so many grown men see me in such state and it honestly bugs me to this very day.
Fast forward to when i was 14. I was still going on said draw/chat website and i met this girl. Girl and i talked for hours on end everyday. From morning to night almost. One day she told me she frequents anime conventions and that i should meet her at one that’s coming up. I was a little iffy about it at first but one thing had changed my mind. Girl added me on facebook eventually and told me that she has a male friend that wants to add me. Girl at this time was 16, her male friend was 17, and little ol me was 14.
Male friend chats with me on facebook messenger and occasionally we would all group chat. Male friend takes a liking to me and i asked him the dreaded question “aren’t i too young though?” and the first red flag was when he replies “i like them young”
After chatting with Girl and Male friend for a couple months, I get a facebook friend request. Male friend says it’s a buddy of his that thought i was cute. I accepted it and start talking with Buddy. Forgot to mention that a Girl and Male friend were dating at this time.
Buddy was 16. (remember that) A junior in Highschool, about to be a senior. We messaged eachother quite often almost everyday. I was just starting Highschool as a freshman. Highschool for me meant more freedom, i get to do what i want, and i get to see my friends. Remember that anime convention? I ended up going so i could meet Girl, her boyfriend, and Buddy.
Long story short about the convention. Buddy kissed me and i started crying because i felt very weird, strange, and unfamiliar emotions. I thought buddy loved me, i thought i was in love. After the con, buddy decided it would be a good idea to meet me in my city (he lived about 2 hours drive away). At this point Buddy was 17, and a senior in HS. I was halfway through my freshman year and was seeing Buddy frequently after school about 4-5 times a month. We would meet at the library located down the street from the HS and “mess around”. It first started with kissing…then touching… then full on sex. All Outside behind some bushes behind the building.
Buddy was the first to take my virginity and i never knew how i felt about that, i was confused obviously, but i thought i was in love. Freshman year ends and summer vacation starts. I turned 15. I specifically remember this summer because it was when Buddy “cheated” on me with another 15 year old and i took it very hard. We spent some time not talking after that but only for about a year. Said 15 year old ends up getting a restraining order against Buddy because her grandmother caught them in bed together. During the year we didn’t speak, Male friend had expressed his desire for me. We ended up doing a lot of sexual role play. Male friend was 18-19 at this time.
When i turned 16. I was fed up with everything. I realized that these boys/men never actually loved me as i thought, they just wanted something to jerk off to. The countless pictures, videos, and skype calls was never out of romanticism but for their own pleasure. During this whole event of grooming, my mental health was spiraling. I was cutting regularly, and nobody knew about it. Depression was affecting me but i couldn’t recognize it soon enough. I had my first suicide attempt shortly after moving away from the city it all happened in. I tried to overdose and ended up being hospitalized for 10 days.
After that it’s all been a struggle. I’m 21 now and i’m constantly reliving past events in my head. Being intimate with partners has been unsuccessful because everytime someone touches me, i get flashbacks from when i was 14-15. I cant even begin to tell you how many pictures there might be of my body out there on the internet. I don’t even want to know. I wish all this never happened because now i’m in the same cycle of cutting> depression> inpatient> better> home Rinse and repeat.
Wish i could take it all back.
No. 424356
>>424332>>424272The female friend or young nice boy that later introduces you to an older male is also just a really common tactic of grooming.
In Australia an online child grooming case (attached) led to a law where you can't legally lie to a minor about your age even if you're not talking sexually and I wish we had that worldwide. Experimenting with identity online is one thing but no adult ever has reason to pretend to be a child to another child.
Not like that would have changed anything for me though since I also had the MAP types of groomers that were open about their ages and convinced me I was an interlectual old soul for talking to them.
No. 424368
>>424356Thanks for posting this. I had no idea such a law existed anywhere. It would be nice to have it implemented everywhere.
I don't see why it shouldn't be a law by now in the US…
No. 425498
>>425383Yes, because some law is going to stop people from grooming people online and lying to minors.
People do awful things regardless of the law.
Instead of making stupid laws putting more effort in awareness to online grooming in schools and social media itself would be more effective. Especially with how many young teens have access to social media.
Discord has a lot of minor dating servers, it’s really shocking that they haven’t done anything about it yet. Ive heard of a few cases where minors have their nudes exposed. It’s awful.
No. 426752
>>426745Your therapist records you? That seems to me a bit unusual.
Anon, you don't have to bring anything up that you don't want to.
No. 426753
>>426745Is it normal where you live for therapists to record you on camera?
I know that therapists have been recording the conversations with patients, but not with a video and mostly in the past (?).
I want to go to therapy for many issues as well for the mess that child grooming made of me but I am afraid that I will not be treated seriously, or that the therapist will think that I am a special snowflake cunt since it's been so long and the damage was not physical so why the fuck am I still affected by it?
I am afraid
No. 426761
>>426753>the damage was not physicalGirl wtf do you think a therapist is? A paramedic? It's literally their job to deal with emotional damage rather than physical. And childhood trauma is something even the most ignorant layman would acknowledge as central to therapy, it's the biggest cliche there is.
You're not being rational, just make the appointment.
No. 426798
File: 1561613987060.jpg (93.2 KB, 448x537, jfVS7dj.jpg)
This really hits home for me as I am a victim of this and it has had a huge lasting impact on me to this day. I'm writing this on my phone so the formatting and structure won't be the best.
My first main relationship was when I was 14 which was online and progressed up until I was 19-20. I would frequent tinychat rooms as I was a huge attention seeker as a child, I was bullied at school, but I somehow got praised for my looks online and it gave me an ego boost. A guy messaged me and we hit it off instantly, messaging on hotmail and skype, it was so apparent that we were hitting it off that the regulars of that specific chatroom saw us as a couple, and we would often have matching themed usernames when we went onto the public webcam chat together.
I was lying about my age for a year, and then I told him my real age. He didn't see anything wrong with it, and stated love was love no matter what the age barrier. As a 15 year old I was ecstatic that he understood. We then proceeded to have cam sex with my school uniform.
Years on it just got worse and worse, I was exposed to horrible sex acts and heavily into bdsm, water sports and even him saying things along the lines of, 'I've been fucking you since you were 14, you slut' as he would ejaculate whilst saying those words. typing this out just gave me the chills. I would send nudes of myself everyday, and would guilt trip me if I didn't want to cyber with him or send pictures. I would call him daddy, and would often have many fantasies around the dynamic. Years later when I got out of the relationship he emailed me, ending the email 'you were like a daughter to me, love papa' PUKE
I found out he was (and is still) married and even after I found out, I STILL stayed with him and had a (not to be cringey) yandere and definitely borderline personality disorder like obsession with his wife. I would fantasize about being the better woman. If anything now I wish i could apologise to her, she doesn't know the extent of how deep this goes.
Everytime I tried to leave him he would threaten to send my nudes to my family, to emailing my university about false claims. He even said I should get help because he suspected I was a paedophile (the irony)
I'm so glad I got out of his clutch, and moved to a relationship that was somewhat healthy for a while to really give me a taste of what a standard relationship is like. But for some reason, I have waves of missing him, and urges to message him because I miss the intense love he used to give me despite being an absolute piece of shit.
No. 426863
>>426761Thank you, I really needed to hear that! So a therapist will not compare me to other, 'worse' patients? I don't mean to my face, but in their mind…
I feel super fucking stupid, in the past I even felt guilty that I am that wrecked when I wasn't raped. My trauma made me regret not meeting with my groomer because then I would surely by sexually asaulted and would have a 'real' (or '
valid' in my own eyes) reason to be fucked up.
No. 426871
>>426863NTA but if you broke your wrist, would you be too scared to go to the hospital because the doctors have seen people die and shit? Suffering isn't a competition and I highly doubt a professional therapist would ever judge a patient for not being "traumatized" enough or whatever, and they will absolutely understand that there are more ways to be abused than just physically.
Take care of yourself anon and don't be afraid to seek help!
No. 428097
>>428090Sounds like he likes his cosplay women looking as prepubescent as possible.
Sorry that happened to you.
No. 439237
I had a 18 year old grooming me from when I was 12 until 19 that I've talked about before, but fortunately I was a frigid 12 year old so he never got actual nudes out of me so he's just a footnote in the list of men who have been shitty. My memory of him has become something sinister for what it could have developed into, especially since he was talking to other girls too, but also almost comically pathetic because even as a grown man his /r/iamverysmart attempts to manipulate were barely working on a literal child.
I hadn't remembered him for ages but yesterday I was going through some old harddrives and found a photo of a girl in a school uniform with the watermark Emily18. I had actually titled it to say he had sent it, as if I was worried a friend see it and think I had downloaded it myself. I vaguely remember the girl was a paedo-pandering camgirl with a paysite that 4chan liked and he had sent it to me saying that she looked like me in the photo.
It just brought up this huge wave of anger in me, grooming kids by sending them fake cp is the oldest trick in the book. I'm livid, and I don't even know where to put this anger.
>>428090Reclaiming interests that abusers tainted is really hard but personally something that has helped me is just overwriting the associations by talking to as many different people about those hobbies as possible and spending time with as many friends involved in those same hobbies. Re-watch those films with a noisy group of friends that won't let you space out, develop new in-jokes about those games, rewire all those synapses with something fresh.
It's worked so much better for me than just trying to forget that I'm now actively trying to make friends with people who share my abusers name, so that I can automatically think of someone nicer instead of fear when I hear it.
No. 439255
File: 1564055703632.jpg (40.64 KB, 700x592, 25202325.jpg)
I was when I was either like 7 or 10. I was really lonely and neglected at home and the predator was the only one who would ask me about my day, after asking me graphic details about what i was wearing (like, panties. I always felt weird about it and would list everything else until the end.) I remember trying to tell a trusted older (like, 3 years older) friend and they thought I meant porn because I just vaguely described it as "I found something bad on the internet".
After maybe a year of it I threatened to call the cops, and blocked him. 5 minutes after I unblocked him and cried because I got so lonely and I missed him even though he was bad for me, but he had already abandoned the account. I knew better but I was lonely and he was the only one who talked to me relatively kindly.I got lonely again after that and wandered through yahoo chats admitting I was underage because I missed the (gross) positive attention.
Later ended up in weird situations with men, like being groomed by a psychiatrist (who never touched me, but verbally would get stuff out of me) or with a neighbor boy, which almost went too far. makes me wonder if I would be interested in sex if I hadn't felt corrupted at a young age.
but I went through life thinking I committed a crime, and I never told my parents because my only friends were online, and my parents would have yelled at me or maybe worse. I'm like relatively sexually repulsed and still feel a lot of shame. Tried to work through it with therapy and made some progress but also dealt with a lot of therapists I fired telling me that it wasn't real sexual abuse because I never was physically touched.
sorry that's incredibly long, I've never gotten to talk about it fully before. I lived in fear for years of my first sexual predator showing up because I had shown him a picture of my house, and of my parents, but he never showed up thankfully.
pretty picture in exchange for this shit
No. 445121
>>440095Honestly anon, I'm not in that situation exactly, but yeah being sexually abused has 100% affected my sex drive. I'm not 'asexual' per se, but I have had a hard time really being able to be intimate with my husband for a long time. Sometimes things we did really brought back some painful memories and it's just…hard. It's so sad that something that's supposed to be special and fun could be corruptedbecause some asswipe pedophile piece of shit couldn't keep their hands off a kid.
I don't think you're alone, anon. It's pretty common. Whether you want to do something about it or not is up to you, though. Don't feel like you 'have' to be one way or another. It's OK that you feel disgusted or sick about sex- I mean, FFS you were hurt by someone in a sexual way. Logically, it makes perfect sense that you would be repulsed by it.
It IS possible to take that back, but that's something you have to decide on your terms. It's a hard, painful process and it is something that requires you to be in a good place, with a loving, understanding person who values you in other ways besides sexualy. But it can be done. Yes, I still have difficulties from time to time, but I now have a sense of comfort that I'm with someone safe who is not going to hurt me, and who loves me for reasons beyond just being sexual with me.
No. 445346
yep, i was about 14-15 and he was in his mid-late twenties iirc. at first i was resistant to it and questioned why he wasn't talking to a girl his own age, countering his attempts to tell me i was mature for my age by saying "i'm not mature, you're just childish and that's not my problem to deal with" and i wish it had stopped there but i was a dumb fucking bullied insecure kid and i fell for him after he said i was pretty and that he liked talking to me. he talked constantly about wanting me to send him nudes, wanting to get married and take my virginity. i vented about how cruel kids my age were and stupidly told him i was sexually abused one night when i was venting to him, he was kind of the only person i had and he knew that.
i never actually took nude pictures of myself, thank christ, but i did send him nudes from some random tumblr porn blog once just to make him shut up. despite knowing about my history of csa he would also try to get me to do ddlg/abdl roleplay with him as a way to "help" me and every time i would play along i would just cry for hours afterwards, honestly the only thing that brought me to my senses was when i finally made an irl friend my own age who was horrified and told me to block him and i did, but had i continued being completely alone during my teen years i worry about how much things would have escalated.
i'm not having kids of my own ever, but if i ever find myself being a legal guardian of a girl who gets bullied i'm going to remove her from the hostile environment she's in irl and make sure she can positively connect with her peers. i'm definitely going to keep her far away from the internet, men know when teenage girls are vulnerable and are 100% aware of what they're doing when they reach out to them
No. 459994
>>458739Is the reason you don't want him to find you because he poses a real physical threat or has material to carry out any substantial online damage? Or is it more that you just don't want him to be able to see any part of your life?
If it's the latter then I had a situation like that. I don't know what he did to you and I can't pretend to know what he's capable of, but I was groomed by a guy who would seek me out every couple of years using false accounts and try to make contact with me or even my friends. When I was a teenager it made me feel disgusting that he still had access to me somehow and scared he would come to find me irl, so I would freak out and delete everything but over time I got better at spotting what might be him and just blocked and ignored the accounts and eventually they stopped altogether. Each year just cemented that he has no power over me since he's too pathetic to try confront a grown woman in person and anything he could post of me is from when I was a child so it's illegal for him to share. Any time he looks me up he will just see proof that I'm so far away from him and I'm enjoying all the things he doesn't get to without ever thinking of him. I wouldn't be surprised if he still looks me up, but if he ever tries to stalk me again I'm just going to go to the police or dox him to a newspaper.
Of course, it's easy to say 'just don't be scared lol' but much harder in reality.
At the very least, it's unlikely he will ever dox you if you have all of his information. You have no reason to be ashamed and you aren't alone, there are so many of us that have gone through this. If you ever feel strong enough you can report the telephone calls to the police if they start back up and if he is still in your country, especially since you have his details and number.
No. 460106
When I was 11 I used to play an MMO. At the time, I used to lie about my age because I didn’t want people to know how young I was/didn’t want to get banned. I used to frequent a PVP chatroom, and I met a guy there who was around 20 (I can’t remember how old specifically). I told him I was a teenager. We talked for awhile, and then he asked for my MSN. I made one for him, and we started talking there. Right off the bat he started asking me for nudes, and wanting to cyber. I was molested when I was younger, and I think that was why I was already fairly sexual, but who knows. We would cyber almost every day. I was at least smart enough to tell him I didn’t have a webcam, and the nudes I sent him were really just pictures I found online. I mentioned many times I was underage, but he didn’t care. I felt like it was somewhat wrong, but I didn’t do anything about it because I craved the attention. I had very low self-esteem. Any time I would ask him for a picture of him (not sexual- I just wanted to see what he looked like) he would say he’d give it to me in exchange for more nudes. Soon I found out that he was actually messaging a few girls from the game, who I ended up becoming semi-friends with. One of them was also 11 years old, like me, but didn’t hide her age. He knew she was 11. The others were also underaged. I never talked to them about the sexual things he sent me, and if he sent them the same things, but I don’t doubt that he was. At the time, I assumed I was the only one because I thought I was ~special~ It was a huge mess. He was also very manipulative. If I got on his bad side I had to grovel so I could get his attention back- like I said I craved it. Eventually we had a falling out that I couldn’t repair. That was when the real crazy stuff started to happen.
A little backstory: He had an ex- online GF who also played the game. While we were friends, he would often ask me and others to stay in the PVP chatroom when he couldn’t monitor it, in order to see if his ex spoke in it. If she did, we had to report back to him with exactly what she said. I remember one time he asked me to do it, I ended up logging off early so I didn’t see if she did or not. I lied about it, and he told me he knew I was lying because he had gotten others to also monitor it. He asked multiple people to do it at the same time. He was crazy about it. He would have me and others send her friend requests to spy on her. He claimed it was because she was evil and he didn’t want anyone else to be harmed by her. All of this left a bad taste in my mouth, but I don’t think I registered how insane it all was until I stopped playing.
Once we had our falling out, he started doing the same thing to me. I still talked to the other girls he was (most-likely) grooming, and soon found out that they were spying on me. They were telling him everything I told them. I told one of them about some of the things he had said to me, and he told them I was lying. He even sent me a threat, saying I had 3 days to tell her the truth ‘or else’. He claimed that I was crazy, and bipolar. I would log on with a bunch of friend requests from people I didn’t know/never heard of. He turned all of my semi-friends against me. When he found out my real age, he used it against me. Basically telling me if I ever made him angry again that he would report me and get me banned. Eventually it was enough to make me quit the game. I was so distraught with everything that had happened. I still wanted to get back on his good side. I believed I loved him for awhile. He gave me attention, and made me feel wanted. At the time I was very socially awkward- I had no friends and believed no one would ever want me romantically so I guess I was easy prey. For a couple years anytime I heard his name, even if it wasn’t in reference to him, I would cringe. I used to be paranoid that he would find me in real life, because the email for my MSN had my last name in it. This is probably the first time I’ve ever talked about it since it all happened. I felt too ashamed to tell anyone, because I feel like I should have known better. I feel like I should have been smart enough to realize he was a fucking creep.
No. 460161
hah… yes.
it took me years to realize how traumatized i was by the online activity, talking to guys who knew i was a child and didn't care, or they liked it.
i discovered porn at a really young age, so naturally i was curious when i first got online. i talked to older guys on teen spot and habbo hotel, and it was so great getting attention. they liked me and i wasn't so lonely, and it was during the time i was starting puberty so lol.
i dont think i can go into details much but it happened for so long, starting when i was in 6th grade talking to older men (5th grade for just seeing sexual things online), and it was a regular thing for years. but i talked to guys every day, was sent disgusting photos, they knew i was a child because theres no way a 12 year old can convincingly pretend to be 18. so many would ask if i was really 18, and then tell me they wouldnt be mad if i told them the truth.
lol im just frustrated, theres so much i barely can just let it out and it made me scared and i dont know. sorry this doesnt make sense, just thinking about this is draining.
No. 461805
>>460319Yeah in these cases I think entrapment laws are retarded if they get applied, like what the fuck are your priorities if you're more worried about pedos than the kids.
But yeah it's just so sickening how normal this is, when I was 10-15 years old it was common that girls I knew had some weird online boyfriends that chatted sex stuff to them, we talked about it at school with our friends without thinking that it was a big deal since we were so used to it about role playing going to shower with them and other sick shit.
No. 462030
File: 1568411785165.jpg (17.42 KB, 300x452, 300px-Gackt2.jpg)
Posting this story because I'm curious if anyone else ran into this guy. I probably wouldn't call this an instance of "grooming" but it definitely has those undertones, and it would have gotten worse if I hadn't backed out early.
I was a preteen on cosplay.com, back in 2007 or so. I had just gotten into cosplaying and spent all of my time online and hoping to be a ~cosplay seiyuu/pop idol~ (some more backstory: I had just moved to a new continent, my parents' marital problems exploded, I was being bullied at school. I coped using the Internet and copious amounts of anime)
I posted maybe 1 or 2 pictures of some shitty closet cosplay I made of Furude Rika from Higurashi no Naku Koro ni. I edited it in Photoshop to give myself purple hair lol. I doubt I got much attention on my posts, since I remember checking every day hoping to get noticed… Eventually some guy messaged me! He was really nice and complimented me on my cosplays, which made me happy. He asked if we could continue chatting on MSN messenger, so I exchanged details with him.
I don't remember much about the conversations. He talked about going to conventions (I think a Western country, maybe Australia or the US?), and would cosplay as Gackt (Japanese visual kei icon). I remember he'd talk about sexual topics for no reason, and would bring up how he wanted to visit and date me. I think one time he talked about meeting my mom, or something that would imply being in a serious relationship with me? It was obviously super inappropriate, and I felt a ton of warning bells in my head from the start of our MSN conversations, so I ended up blocking him.
I wish I kept record of what accounts I was using. I hope he didn't pursue any other young girls, but I have a feeling that I wasn't the only one.
No. 473885
>>424239Firstly, I'm 33 now so I couldn't have been 40 however long ago it was you're saying I contacted you. Secondly: do you have records of specifically what it is I supposedly said to you? If I did comment on some of your artwork then it would help me to understand specifically what it is you are paraphrasing. I have never had any intention of hurting artists I compliment online.
>>424257What do you mean by ran into me? Did I message you or something?
What exactly do you mean by 'legit dangerous'? I'm not understanding what dangers you're talking about.
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 474221
File: 1571392136750.jpg (56.28 KB, 962x705, 2nPUrsC.jpg)
i was fortunate to have nipped that shit in the bud the only time it presented itself. when i was 12, i unknowingly added some pedo on msn from neopets because i wanted to make friends (so naive). their icon was a close up shot of a girl giving a blowjob. i saw this, freaked the fuck out since i was using a computer in the living room in full view of my parents, and told them to commit suicide before blocking them.
all pedos deserve to have their nuts blown off with a shotgun. reading this thread is fucking heartbreaking. i am so sorry for those of you who were actually groomed and manipulated by these sacks of shit.
No. 474265
>>474221I went on a binge lately watching youtube pedo hunter vids and I don't know when people started sympathising so much with pedos. A good deal of the comments are (men) giving out to the hunters for raising their voices at the pedos..
These are men who have sent loads of dick pics to (decoy) 12 year olds. Who have told them to do degrading things, have threatened them and have shown up to meet those kids.. then half of them have a history of serving time for sex crimes already
The UK ones are my favourite cos the hunters will often ask the predator if he has any intellectual disabilities and often they'll switch from acting normal to suddenly acting retarded to get away with it
No. 474385
>>474371The numbers of this are incredible, over 300 people are being investigated and 23 rescues of
victims in the west but it hurts knowing that this is just one site and with numbers like this, it's still so big. Also knowing that some of these people will still get away with it, I think the UK has let something like 400 legally known pedophiles escape the country.
Only two people have committed suicide as a result of this operation, that number could stand to be higher.
No. 474392
>>474371I'm glad these people are getting caught, but part of me wishes they didn't publicize it. They should've given a full list of names of all those caught so the public could crucify them, but given no word on exactly
how they were traced.
Now that the pedos know bitcoin and onion sites are no longer their safe haven, there's no doubt they'll just scramble and find other ways to hide.
I honestly hope they covered their bases, really infiltrated these groups' social circles and figured out what the next "frontier" will be.
No. 477492
>>477484No Anon, he wasn't a good guy. He just knew to skirt the line enough so that he wouldn't get in trouble with a minor under different laws in your country (I'll assume USA?)
Just forget about him, he's a creep. No decent guy his age has sexual conversations with 16 year olds. He just made you feel special at the time. It's easy to be impressionable at that age.
Been there myself at that age (16) with an older pedo "boyfriend" I met online. I'm absolutely disgusted at these memories and thinking too deeply about it disturbs me and I want to vomit. I'm 30 now and I never had the urge to start talking to fucking 16 year old boys online sexually lol. It's not normal.
Enjoy your healthy relationship now, who I assume is actually a decent guy.
His methods remind me of Onion.
No. 477503
>>477492Yeah, I'm in the US. Honestly I never paid attention to the Onion thread but I'll go take a look at it because you're probably right. I'm really sorry that happened to you and you're right. I'm sorry if I brought up any bad memories for you I guess I just get in a bad place and go back to thinking he didn't do anything wrong but I have to preservere. I'll go hug him, thank you anon.
>>477499To be honest I'm dumb and never thought of that. That's a really good point honestly, thanks.
>>477500Same. I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this but honestly that helps a lot to keep in mind, thanks anon.
No. 477507
>>477503No worries about the bad memories.
I struggled with rationalizing that my guy wasn't that bad either, but as soon as I reached into adulthood and closer to his age, I knew that I was naturally preferring people my age. Even at 20, I didn't seek out friendships with high schoolers. They were already too different from me. Your brain and maturity still develops a ton in these years, and in most cases people transition naturally.
Therapy also helped me realize that what happened to me was wrong and I was the CHILD being groomed into being okay with the situation
These losers can make themselves seem interesting to insecure and impressionable teens in their cowardly online spaces because it's the only realm where they can feel like they can cultivate a better image. But what's really happening is that they're losers who can't relate to women in their age bracket in real life. Mine is STILL a colossal loser, I'm glad to know he will always be one and will ultimately end up alone. Meanwhile I succeeded despite him and am getting married. He will always have his shitty minimum wage job while living with his parents. It's what he deserves.
No. 477733
when I was 16, my parents were very uncomfortable with me being online. We did not have a family computer, and me being online was considered completely unokay. A visit to a MySpace page would land me grounded for 2 weeks. For my 16th birthday, I asked for an (albeit heavily monitored) Facebook page and my dad let me have one. I was only allowed family friends. My family is heavily involved in the arts community so I had a lot of “cool” older friends on my page. One was a musician who had always had interest in me. He groomed me online for months. Going back through the chat log is sickening. I resisted and he kept… well, grooming. Eventually he lured me to his home under the guise of a party (there was no party), filled me with liquor until I could barely walk, and had his way with me. I never said anything bc in my mind I had wanted this and the lines were blurred. The older I got, the more obvious it all became to me that I had been fucked with. Over time, I met at least 4 other women with the same story as me. There’s more on twitter if you search his name. And just as I feel I was starting to gain some balls, and I wanted to contact these other women, reach out, and protect women younger than us…. and this dude died. He’s dead. All my close friends are mourning. Girls he would’ve done worse to. I don’t know what to say. My whole social media feed is just his face and memorials and he assaulted me. I’m sorry, lolcow, I just need to vent.
No. 477744
>>304605>Pokemon admin is a pedophilePottery, Bulbapedia was bursting at the seams with pedoshit in the admin forums.
I was in close contact with a guy on some FFA clan in Jedi Academy, got found out for trying to groom some 13 y/o girl, then got catfished and had screenshots leaked all over message board and such. The amount of people that took an interest in me whenever I mentioned my age on that game was shocking too.
No. 477753
File: 1572196208979.jpeg (105.05 KB, 568x568, 3D48A96C-C4D2-4323-A72F-38C939…)
>>477733I hope you feel better, anon.
I'm very sorry that happened to you.
At least he won't hurt anyone else now.
No. 477755
>>477507This made me happy, anon!
You have a really good mindset.
I hope your marriage goes well and I hope your predator dies alone and miserable.
No. 477852
>>477507What if your predator (rich and working in his dream industry, socially well adjusted, likeable, possibly already with a wife) is living a better life than you ever will?
And yes, I know that I should focus on finding my own happiness but sometimes I get
triggered… like by the post above.
No. 477860
>>477852It just means he's one of the more careful and intelligent predators in terms of manipulating everyone around them. The type the manages to fly under the radar for so long like Onision and Harvey Weinstein did.
It still doesn't change that they're the type of person who victimizes others. It's easy for them to put on an image that they're "successful" but you never know what's going on behind closed doors. I still would give the advice that you should live and build your own happiness despite them.
In the end I truly believe some sort of karma will come back to them. You get what you put out into the world. I hope you feel better Anon. You might have been taken advantage of, but they have no influence on your life anymore.
No. 478072
>>477860I am doing my best to find my own happiness, make my dream come true and unfuck my headspace… but it still hurts that years after, I'm terribly fucked up and damaged adult because of all the shit that happened to me when I was growing up, most of it caused by him. It hurts that I am struggling everyday while this human turd is enjoying his life like he always did. I am so angry that if he saw me now, he would laugh and probably say something like 'of course this bitch got fat and is even more mental, good riddance. How is that rejecting Jesus working for you?'.
It's like the saying 'the axe forgets, the tree remembers'.
No. 478168
>>478072I understand, I have my hard days too with what happened to me, and I'm not always as strong as I try to be.
I'm not sure if you guys ever talked about what happened, but the best you can hope for is that he's changed his ways. If not, it's only a matter of time until he slips up again and he'll have to answer for all of the things hes done. If he's still taking advantage of people, it will be noticed.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's always looking over his shoulder or paranoid about what he did coming back to bite him in the ass.
Mine hasn't changed his ways at all, he still acts like a
victim, avoids the topic of grooming me like his life depended on it, and still posts about me online thinking I can't see what he's doing. He's truly a sick fuck.
No. 481569
>>473901actually searched my name with lolcows, didn't even know there was a grooming thread.
I don't believe I've groomed anyone, so I don't feel guilty. I probably did compliment some artwork that I liked, but I don't consider that grooming.
>>474457>he asked a lot of pedophilic questions. he told me he was 19 and he asked me if i had started menstruating. i didn't know what this meant, then he proceeded to tell me its when my boobs are growing.Well that's clearly wrong, so it seems like the comment an ignorant minor lying about being older would say.
Unless the intent of asking about features of puberty would be to END conversation with someone who was, I don't see how asking them would necessarily be pedophilic. It could easily be the reverse, where they might want to end conversation with someone who hadn't started puberty, excluding prepubescents rather than narrowing down to them.
(permaban evasion and admitting it) No. 481652
>>481604We're supporting you anon and always here for you
I actually contacted an organisation about doing the same recently. I'm not ready to do it yet myself but maybe in some time so your post resonates with me. Good luck.
No. 481716
>>481630Absolutely tf not. I have never been in a real relationship, I've been raped, sexually harassed at work, assaulted. Even my very occasional fwb distanced himself from me recently when he realized I would always call him out trying to gaslight and manipulate me, but also didn't know how to walk away from our situation because I trust most men even less. Not that there isn't hope for others and that everyone is doomed to be an eternal predator magnet who feels comfortable with
toxic dynamics.
No. 481760
>>481665didn't call it grooming, even when he thought I was then in my 20s, he's probably the most respectful man I ever met online. just said it was an experience with an older man.
>>481673what for? I like the idea of him being in an unhappy relationship and still wanting me, and us running away together before his wedding.
No. 481802
>>481652thank you, I wish for you the best and peace of mind.
its very tricky and takes some time working with the police, as the groomer is in a different country. but i'll get there eventually. feeling much better, even though its going to be a long road.
i can promise it feels great, even to just get a case started, or thinking about it.
No. 481851
>>481833thank you, I really appreciate that
I met my groomer on an obscure RPing forum for World of Warcraft when I was 12. he manipulated me IRL and online for a long time til I was 16. i'm 19 now.
i didnt realise i was abused until the symptoms of what was done to me began to materialise when i was 17. everything made sense in that moment. i was exploited. groomers will exploit and abuse every part of your life. mentally, sexually, physically and even financially (even if your a kid, my groomer made me buy him video games all the time and made me give up my hobbies)
i can explain my story more if anyone here is interested. you are not alone either
No. 482193
>>481770Oh my fucking god anon SAME
My dad is pornsick and a drug addict and would leave his hardcore porn laying around the house so I was exposed to it and sex at a super young age
Sexted and phone sex w lots of disgusting older men but I thought it was ok and I was mature enough and I also just didn’t know how to handle shit when I was horny, spent a lot of time online as a kid too … ugh.. this is hard to think about
Also 2 girls I had sexual experiences with at a young age probably bc they were molested too…. but I had no idea why or what… idfk
Was also molested and almost raped at 10 but i got away in time. Spent a lot of my 19-early 20’s sEx PoSiTiVe feminism without realizing that men were just using me and cheapening me finally tried camwhoring around age 23 and it completely destroyed my self esteem and turned me off from the whole sex positive thing especially bc an ex pushed me to do it and he was kind of a piece of shit about it even when I told him it made me miserable so I just gave up after I dumped him.
Anyway went on a long rant but the beginning Is super similar just wanted to chime in, youre not alone in any of that and I feel like I am super often too it sucks.
No. 482849
>>481851if it's not dangerous or painful to you, I would like to hear your story. It's selfish of me but it makes me feel less alone.
>groomers will exploit and abuse every part of your life. mentally, sexually, physically and even financiallyFuck, couldn't say it better myself. It sucks that so many people don't get that.
I am so sorry for the shit you went through.
No. 483067
>>482849its okay, i feel much more stable and strong enough to talk and share my experiences. its oddly healing in a way and a nice way to vent and get it all out.
and agreed, a groomer will invade every aspect of your life until there is nothing left, no privacy or self dignity.
as mentioned before we met on this obscure WoW RP forum, in a chatbox. i was 12 at the time. we ended up being in an LDR, it was pretty hellish. being sent CP and being told to do things on camera. he would guilt me via complaining that he is beat at home and basically had a really shit life. (this was all bullshit, he had a perfect home life as later on his auntie would tell me)
an example is "doing X will make me happy because my dad beats me". being an insecure teen, i was super easy to bribe stuff out of.
we were in two different countries but both in Europe, i wont explain which just in case
online it was pretty bad but when he convinced me to get my parents to pay for him to stay over for a week, thats where the real pain happened. a few people in my life say it was my parents fault for letting this happen but its more than just a child who is groomed. the whole family is too. groomers are extremely manipulative, not exactly high intellect, but smart enough to play a role. he pretended to be a promising smart foreigner with good manners, which we all lapped up.
ofc this led to me being sexually abused.
he would come back to my country to stay every now and then for a few weeks. both the online and physical abuse rotted me away and i became more insecure and insular. i lost all my hobbies and talents.
a prominent memory of how a groomer can seclude you, is that he isolated me away from my friends. that memory being my best friend at the time, we used to hang out with her horses and teach eachother to ride. literally just fooling around and having a good time. i look back on that memory so fondly. but because i came home a little too late for the groomers liking, i was forbidden to ever hang out with her. he did this by gaslighting and promising to never speak to me again
a groomer will get you hooked on them emotionally by taking your friends, family and anything else away from you. the thought of a groomer walking away is pure terror, being ignored is further abuse. but in that moment you feel as if you depend on this person, that they truly do love you. its all bs
this lasted until i was 16 when i realised something was seriously wrong. funnily enough, it was other 'strangers' on the internet i befriended that told me this was seriously wrong. the net is a weird place. bittersweet. where most of my pain came from, by meeting this cunt but also where i've met real friends.
No. 483070
>>482849>>483067pt2
its not selfish to ask, please don't worry, i want people to learn these things and understand how it could have happened
being groomed is a mixture of alot of things i believe. it didnt help i had severe skin issues and low self confidence. as well as the young age. you dont know any better in life at that age. but even as i mentioned before, the whole family unit/friend group can be groomed too. they're naturally 'evil' i think. im not sure.
but not everything is too bad now. i suffer from PTSD due to this but am actually making pretty good strides recovering. i have a bf too who is wonderful and understanding. its only hard for him when he sees me having a bit of a catatonic flashback. its not nice. but he's defiantly helped me improve myself more.
and that gave me the confidence to pursue a case. which is going well too. just takes alot of time! which isnt an issue for me. grooming is illegal in my country so it'll most likely be pursuing that. luckily, thank god for the internet, i have all the chat logs and even the pics/videos i had to send him. aswell as the CP he produced of me when he stayed.
feeling like chris hansen ngl lol.
No. 483075
>>483067>>483070Good luck, anon. I'm glad that you've been able to recover from this, and made friends and found someone who really loves you.
I don't think I'll ever be able to do the same (I don't even want to look at my old chat logs, the thought makes me too uncomfortable and anxious), but it feels nice seeing it happen for you.
No. 483187
Oh, man. Yes. I’ve had so many negative experiences online, starting from when I was very young.
There was this one guy who was dating a friend of mine. They were both older than me, I only knew them online, etc. Eventually, she and he broke up. She was only a little older than me. I was 14, she was maybe 16, this guy was in his 20’s. Like past college 20’s. His name was Chris.
We didn’t have a close relationship by any means, because he seemed obsessed with that other girl. But after they broke up, he started asking all of these sexual questions. We had been talking for a little while, and stopped. I got a little older. One day I open my email to a full blown love letter. I’m 15-16? getting a love letter from a 20ish something guy, after months of awkward,
inappropriate conversation and then radio silence on my end. Something clicked in my head, and I just filed that away with something to never respond to. I never spoke with him after that.
The worse one was a guy who followed me through my entire adolescence. We met on an online game we both used to play. I was maybe 12, and we talked until I was 16.
He was 16 when I was 12. He was so adoring, and loving, and kind. He gave me something I didn’t have at home. But then he would flip and be critical and mean, or withdraw. And it left me wanting, and depressed. He would send me naked pictures of himself, and videos of him masturbating. I’d leave the camera on so he could watch me sleep. He groomed me. I was obsessed with him. Fully obsessed.
He would write these stories about us, but the stories eventually started rubbing me the wrong way. He was always some heroic guy coming in to save something I would mess up. He wrote me poetry. He would send me clips of his voice. For a lonely kid, it was enthralling. Our relationship was incredibly over sexualized.
I would come home and he was always there. Always. He never went out with friends, never did anything for years.
Eventually, we “broke up.” Which, as laughable as it is, was very traumatic for me. I didn’t have family or friends. Our break up consisted of him giving me a short paragraph as to why he felt it was best if we weren’t romantically involved anymore, and I agreed, and that was that.
I still look up his name on facebook every once in a while. I’m curious if he ever did anything with other girls. It took me years to get closure with what I experienced with him.
The solace I take is that not all men are like this. I had some entirely, non sexual, platonic relationships with men online. Never steered the convo towards sex, never asked inappropriate questions. They were maybe 3-4 out of a career spanning decades on the internet.
No. 483274
>>483187>I’d leave the camera on so he could watch me sleepWhat the fuck is with groomers and obsession with observing their
victims asleep?
Mine wanted me to leave our phone call on so that he would listen to me sleep
No. 483300
>>483274It’s so weird to think that I am allowed someone to see me that vulnerable. The truth is I was never interested in anything by but affection. I wanted to be looked after, loved and cared for. I had an
abusive childhood, and grew up without any friends or family. I was a lonely person. I didn’t have self worth, or a tribe- nothing.
These men prey upon vulnerability and warp interactions to suit their sexual interests. None of it is real love, it’s about power, control, manipulation, and sexual gratification for them.
I think back to that love letter, I even remember bits and pieces of it, even though I read it once over a decade ago. He told me everything I wanted to hear and more.
Around that time I started to develop friends, and got out of an
abusive situation at home. But I see so many women and girls falling into the same trap.
And I’ll be the first to admit- I was NOT “mature” for my age. I was a child. I acted, looked, spoke and thought like a child. There is no grown man who should have found me appealing.
Speaking of which, has anyone seen the movie Gigi?
No. 483317
>>483300It's terrifying how you let them in because you want love and they turn you into a hollow, overly sexual thing. It's so hard to explain this to someone who never been through that. My parents found out about everything and while they were concerned and noticed that something very wrong's with me, they brushed it all off. They assumed that just going no contact will unfuck all the damage. My mother even tried to joke around about him and our relationship which killed me inside everytime.
Is the Gigi movie the 49 or 58 one? Never seen it, but I'm interested since you brought this up in this topic…
>>483303You might be right, but I think it's also a weird sex thing.
No. 483324
>>483317 I appreciate the commiserating. I’m sorry this happened to you, too.
Gigi, the 58 one. I watched it and ALL these weird feelings came back. It’s worth a watch to scrutinize. It’s so jarring. This rich, much older adult male is revered. And this girl, Gigi, has 2 spinster aunts who care for her.
This rich guy hangs out with her, sees her as a child, and even has a whole number about him singing about how she’s “just a child.”
The opening song is creepy enough. It seems like a pedophiles wet dream. It’s so STRANGE.
No. 483329
File: 1573761946381.gif (4.6 MB, 455x262, EnlightenedAdmirableIncatern-s…)
>>483324Ok, now I must watch it.
From my side I highly recommend Marie Poupee. It's extremely relatable. Worth watching not only for the heartbreak, but also gorgeous aesthetic.
The film is about an owner of a toy store obsessed with dolls that grooms and eventually marries a doll-like teenage girl. Things go wrong when she becomes interested in expressing her feelings and sexuality and not just being a plaything.
The movie got picked up by ddlgfags but it's a classic case of an misaimed fandom. If anything, it's anti pedophilia and anti grooming (just like Lolita).
No. 483365
>>483329 Thanks anon, I’ll have to watch it!
I actually just saw Lolita for the first time. I don’t understand how people can twist that story to be anything except tragic and sad. There’s nothing romantic about it at all.
I’ll have to look into that movie, I’ve never even heard of it.
I am happily married, with a loving partner and a normal, healthy sex life. And I STILL feel like my preferences were warped from these experiences, but also the introduction to hardcore pornography and hentai as a child.
I don’t even watch porn anymore. It’s so brutal. I came to the fairly recent realization: sex is nothing like porn.
It seemed so obvious, I’ve thought that for years, but I suddenly clicked, if that makes sense. All the abuse and torment that I experienced played out on the screen, and it felt like it was a way to re-enact those moments?
Sometimes I was disgusted, sometimes it was cathartic. I used to be hyper sexual and thought that was normal. Only in the last few years did I fall back into a normal, healthy sexual pattern with my partner.
It’s such a weird, damaging experience. It’s also pretty telling to see the scrotes in this thread. Disgusting.
A lot of this made me resent men. I hate them. Most of them ARE predatory. There are always some good men, but the majority I’ve encountered are just disgusting .
No. 483477
>>483452I agree that the scene is creepy as fuck, but that's the point.
YMMV and while I do not necessarily agree with you, I see your point and respect it
while all the scenes seem less skeevy in the movie as they are supported by narrative and not taken out of context, I need to rewatch the film to see how I feel about it nowI think it is possible to make a movie about sexual abuse of children without being tactless or gross, but it requires a strong vision as you cannot soften the topic. Implied abuse can be horrified though.
No. 490850
Sucks to think about but I met some guy in an online chatroom when I was about 15, he was 21. We started off as just friends and stayed that way for around a year or two, before he asked me out when I was 17. At the time his indifference to a lot of things and his apathetic nature interested me a lot because I thought if I could be with him then I'd be able to get some emotion out of him.
I was graduating high school and about to enter university which he seemed really annoyed by, because he wanted me to move over to his country and live with him. This came up during the first time he visited me for two weeks, I believe he was 23 at the time and I didn't intend to do anything sexual but of course he pushed for it so I lost my virginity to him. I remember he said some fucked up shit like 'Wow that was the first time I fucked someone and didn't feel like leaving them'. He had a long history or casual sex and one night stands so I guess he just viewed it like that. Then he wanted us to go on a 'break' because he was annoyed I wouldn't be coming to live with him.
Over that time he continued to 'make friends' with younger people, one boy being about 16 or so himself and he actually MET UP with him, PRETENDING to be like 18 or something fucked up like that.
So fast forward and I went to visit him for two months, and it was fucked. I had trust issues and found hundreds of pictures from his ex's that were all saved in folders under their names, plus fucking child porn on his PC from years ago.
He then broke things off because he wasn't capable of being in a monogamous relationship apparently, which I was happy to finally be free from. He then pleaded and cried to me to have me back, despite me telling him how bad of a state I'm in mentally and I'm trying to just work on myself.
I saw ads he'd posted online during layover stays when he'd come to visit me, trying to find sex with other people. I was livid. He was so emotionally detatched and just didn't have empathy a lot of the time. I'm so glad to be out of that… I just hope he doesn't keep fucking around with people underage.
No. 490960
>>490955Amazing contribution to the thread, no sympathy-anon. This is a thread for solidarity for grooming
victims, not for you to judge whether they are at fault or worthy of sympathy.
Btw everyone in this thread is worthy of sympathy. Every older man knows what he's doing when he's hitting up a child.
No. 490973
>>490960the site and thread aren't you safe space. don't post shit if you don't want criticism, especially ITT. being a
victim isn't black and white.
No. 490984
>>490973Online child grooming thread…
> don't post shit if you don't want criticismOkay anon..
No. 491054
>>490955>>491004if you find it hard to empathize with her then why even bother replying and making her feel worse? retarded much? definitely.
as you can CLEARLY see, she regrets it and still suffers from that mistake so the least you could do is stop acting like a high and mighty cunt. everyone is prone to making stupid mistakes, especially as a teen. you don't get to police people's guilt and trauma.
you sound like those people who blame others for getting raped, because "they should've worn better clothes".
No. 491177
>>490973>being a victim isn't black and whiteNta but I've kind of gotten this vibe from a few anons in my time here and as someone with 0 experience being preyed upon or abused, this is such a shocking statement. I'm so used to feeling disgust for the perpetrator and pity for the
victim when hearing these stories, and feeling like children should be protected that I never considered a grey area. Could it be true?
Obviously I understand that young girls sometimes seek validation from older guys online etc., but to say or think that these vicitms are somewhat responsible is confusing and upsetting.
Can someone who's been through this chime in? What do you think?
No. 491457
>>490973>don't post shit if you don't want criticism"Yes hello here is some criticism on your chiildhood sexual abuse"
I know you said you wish you never wrote this, but wtf, anon?
No. 491460
>>491177I'm aware of
>>491347 but feel like adding that it's always a predator's fault. If you stumbled upon a kid on youtube, would you groom it? I bet no, because you are not a sicko.
>>491453If it makes you feel any better, some other anons ITT also got retarded/unempathetic replies. You don't deserve this shit, you just got bad lack.
I'm sorry for what you went through. It's not your fucking fault.
No. 491512
This is my first time typing it all out and telling anyone what exactly happened. I was around 12 back then, and he was 32 (but I found out about this much later). We met on anime streaming site, he sent me a message because I was active in the comment section of Shugo Chara (or maybe it was some other anime for young girls, I don't remember), we talked a lot about magical girls. At first I was grateful, because he was my first friend who liked anime, but as the time passed, he began to show his ugly side. It's hard to type about that, but he would send suicide threats and self-harm pictures daily. He would get absolutely enraged when I couldn't respond immidiately or when I disagreed with him about something. He'd start crying and blaming me for everything. One day I told him I don't want to do any sexual stuff with him, and he sent me his mutilated dick as a response. This was going on literally for years. He attempted suicide twice in the span of those three years.
Because of him to this day I have severe trust issues. I always distance myself from people when they open up to me. And the worst thing is, I still feel immense guilt over what happened. I feel like it was all my fault, especially the way he fucked up his body. I don't know what to do or how to deal with the guilt. I've told my father about some of it, and I'm grateful he immidiately cut off my Internet access and called the police, but just… I don't know. I feel retarded for being so affected by some random person online.
No. 493151
Recently I got bothered by someone suggesting that I report the guy who groomed me from when I was 12. All of our contact was in IM messages and I never sent him nudes so it seemed pointless to me, so to prove my point that it was a waste of time that would only cause me stress, I contacted an organisation to ask if it would even be investigated.
The organisation said that even if there was no explicit proof of him asking for nudes, as long as I could prove that we were in contact whilst I was underage the police would still take my allegations seriously enough to investigate. I was surprised.
I still don't plan to report him because I'm honestly over so much of it now that I don't feel like it's worth going through all that when at best he can only be charged with attempting to solicit child pornography, and not possession, but I wanted to just post this here in case any other anons with similar cases are wondering if they will be taken seriously.
>>483325Anon I read your story and it breaks my heart that you weren't protected the way you should have been even after your parents found out. No 12 year old "allowed" themselves to be groomed because nobody can possibly look at a 12 year old and blame them for what an adult did to them. It wasn't your fault in any way, not one bit, he was a predator and your parents failed help you at a point when you were most vulnerable. You were incredibly strong to deal with that alone so young, and you've stayed strong enough to survive addiction and to recognize harmful behaviors. You've lived through all of this and you're still working towards recovery while also looking to protect those kids in a way that you should have been. I wish the best for you and your new child, you're amazing.
No. 493534
>>491499Not her, I think she's edgy albeit kinda correct. You're more right and reasonable, but I think society shouldn't encourage women to do this at all, it seems to me that the typical middle class and above female in first world online statutory rape
victims or anything like that is seen as someone who could have never avoided it no matter what, that she couldn't have known better, even though she is very much 15-17. But a lot of cultures and then subcultures online let us think otherwise. It happened to me, but I take responsibility for my shit. I could have chosen to block him and to talk with my female peers online, but I loved the attention. Now, I don't think the scumbag moid is innocent either of course. If you ask me they should be punished in jail, but secretly I don't like the way we either totally shame online statutory teen rape
victims (in the west) or totally bless them. Online is key, since it takes a lot of steps before a young girl decides to send a disgusting pervert stuff. I am speaking as a
victim who doesn't tolerate lies about some things.
No. 493570
i haven't been a victim of grooming and have never been friends with someone older who asked to discuss anything sexual but i feel like i have only escaped it because i've always been more of a lurker than an active, sociable internet user.
from an early age i went online to look at fun stuff…and weird, grotesque, shocking, non-PC content that fascinated my little brain. it'd mostly be fairly inconsequential even if not age-appropriate, but as the years went by i got used to fucked up "kinks" ("non contact"/fictional pedophilia, guro, abuse, MLP porn etc etc) because it was normalized by so many people and sometimes sugarcoated with discourse by people i thought were smarter than me. honestly, i think that kinda stunted my sexuality. i'm only now feeling the kind of interest in sexuality/romance that everyone felt when they were 14…
i don't think i would've ever gotten to sending nudes or doing phone sex but i could've talked about sexual things with some pervert who would've jacked off to the idea of talking to a kid who knows what watersports is.
i can't even say i wish i hadn't been online as much as i had, because even when i was only allowed to be online for 2 hours on weekends i was often drawn to less wholesome stuff.
No. 493663
>>493534I don't see how empathizing with
victims of grooming is in any way condoning innapropriate teen behavior with groomers. I also don't see how empathy towards people that went through this is framing online grooming as an "inevitability", either. I don't think anybody ITT thinks these things and you are pulling them outta nowhere. Your post comes across to me as "I blame myself fully for my specific situation so everyone else that went through a similar situation, despite their circumstances, should blame themselves just as I do" and I can't think of a good word for how it comes across. Close minded?
Like, did I not have enough blame for myself in my post? You realize this is after years of guilt and torturing myself about it, right? At what point am I allowed to seek out a little empathy and commiserate with women that went through what I did and assign a modicum of blame to the 30 year old man involved? I don't think you being a
victim yourself doesn't mean you are immune from being crass and
victim-blaming. There is a place and a time for everything and I think when someone lays it all out there like that and already admits their fault in it there is nothing constructive in saying "fuck you slut lol you deserved it all for being on 4chan dumbass". If you don't agree I'm sorry you feel that way but not everyone has to feel as bad about themselves as you do
No. 493668
>>493663victim blaming is a meme. some
victims should be blamed.
No. 493670
>>493668Nta but nah.
Victim blaming just chips away at the culprit's responsibility.
If I were a predator I'd love to have people like you around to tell my
victims they're somehow responsible. It would take the onus off myself to not groom. And convince other criminals that certain behaviors permiss abuse. I could brainwash my
victims that if they fucked up a few times then everything bad I do to them and the effects years after is deserved.
Pedo paradise.
No. 493678
>>493670I'm sure the anon knows this, and they're probably trying to create just the environment you described.
Anyone who says "
Victim blaming is a meme" isn't speaking in good faith. It's something a predator says. That, or someone who is close to a predator (and maybe either is being preyed on, or seeks to predate themselves), and is trying to rationalize it to themselves.
The issue with the "Okay predators bad, BUT are we forgetting personal responsibility??" argument is that it's completely unbalanced.
One person's actions were a deliberate act to cause damage to another for personal control and fulfillment. The other person's actions were made out of sheer recklessness, a lack of foresight typical to young people, and ultimately only really results in damage to themselves. You can't equate the two. If the
victim can feasibly be blamed and it truly "balances out", then they can't be called a
victim anymore.
No. 493733
Some IRL, some online. I'm 25 now, this all happened during high school.
- When I was 14, I was dating a 16 year old at school. High school boyfriend was fine, never pressured me to do anything I didn't want. His best friend on the other hand, (also 16) got close to me under the guise of friendship/looking out for me like an older brother and encouraged me to touch myself and tell him about it and how it made me feel. He would tell me things like "Well [boyfriend] is into X, Y, and Z, so you should probably try those things out yourself before you do them IRL" and things of that nature. I was so naive and trusting in this person that we exchanged texts like this for months. It eventually stopped when he started dating a girl who was really controlling. (High school, right?)
- I began questioning my sexuality when I was 16-18 and I felt like I didn't have anyone I could talk to. I started going onto sites like Omegle/chatroulette and asking for advice/ how I could tell if I was really gay. In hindsight, I was SO dumb. I had a lot of guys send me lesbian/female masturbation porn and try to tell me that if I got turned on, this made me gay. I do believe that I naturally have bi tendencies, but this exposure to porn at such a young age really messed with my head. (I say 'such a young age' because it was an abrupt change to go from a sheltered upbringing where I wasn't allowed to watch most movies, to straight-up porn.)
- Through an IRL friend who did a lot of Omegle-ing herself, I met a man located in East Asia who took an interest in me. I don't remember how old he was, guessing early to mid 20's. He was extremely emotionally abusive and manipulative. He would simultaneously tell me I was sexy and how badly he wanted me, but if I ever reciprocated the desire, or asked him if we could date/be in a relationship, he would tell me I wasn't "marriage material" because I had gotten to like 3rd base or whatever with my IRL ex. Having grown up Catholic, being told I wasn't worthy of commitment because of things I had done in the past was really hard for me to deal with. I would get really depressed and continue to seek validation. (Mostly from this person) He eventually talked me into webcamming with him nude or partially undressed. He never did the same for me, I was always the one bending over backwards to please him. I didn't realize it at the time, but he must have been recording or taking screenshots of our calls when I did this. Years after we stopped talking, I got an email from his address (as I had blocked him on all other social media: he was harrassing my IRL friends and love interests on Facebook). This email contained photos of underage me in suggestive poses, my face only partially obscured. I (stupidly) deleted the email because I wanted everything to be over and go away. I didn't want to allow myself to be blackmailed, but in hindsight I worry about how many of my pictures are out there and who has them.
No. 493955
>>493663I don't care about immunity girl lol I'm anonymous, you're just grasping straws because it is still sensitive for you which I understand of course. I am saying that I went through it so everyone here knows I'm not a guy, and that I do sympathize very much but not in the same way society (and some people itt) try to do. Am I saying this thread sucks? I sympathized with almost all of the posts itt (I didn't read them all that's why not all), . Looking at it now though, I regret calling myself a
victim now, but that's my own personal journey. So close mindes of me right?!
Not everyone has to be like me true true, but I don't want someone to tell me that I'm a
victim when I was just a dumbass, and the whole
victim pitying is too saturated for problems that could have been very much avoided rather easily and it is what I felt more than that I think
victim blaming is a meme or whatever. I think this because it is what shifts away from actual solutions: teaching girls and women not to send nudes to men and to not just be insecure and naive in general. These kind of habits are encouraged by everything and everyone and don't deny this lol.
Sexual harassment by itself is very taboo, they come in different forms though, just like many other concepts. What do we call someone who got into a car accident because they were taking a selfie while they're driving in a car? They're 17 btw. I don't know, I can sympathize, but I'd be angry at them too. Such a dumb mistake!
If you get the chance to be still alive when you did a really retarded mistake, I don't think that it solves anything if you don't forgive yourself.
I guess I was just trying to say that I dislike the whole
victim thing in general because it doesn't solve anything and that I rather want to prevent it than let it happen as if it's just some faith you can't do anything about it. Crying only won't do it, though it should be done to heal and repair as a side thing. But life goes on, there's still clueless women and girls who haven't been taught to be less naive properly but there's still too much victimizing.
No. 494229
>>493955At the beginning of your unnecessary sperg attack you where brazenly callous, acting like anyone who didn’t agree with your short sighted blanket reasoning was a weak ass baby. Now you’re trying to turn it round so that you’re the morally superior one, trying to help people? Literally fuck you to hell and back.
Don’t you think things like bullying, sexual abuse, childhood neglect cause life long emotional damage, and a person will seek comfort as it comes to them, which includes validation. Don’t you think girls who feel like their only value is their physical appearance and how men see them, will jump at the chance to feel like they’re worth a hot shit? You don’t have to view yourself as a
victim, nobody asked you to, but you’re trying to say how nobody else is either, and unless you’re a total retard then you must know that’s invalidating and spiteful, surely?
No. 494361
>>494229I don't want to help anyone, you've been mistaken actually. What can I even possibly do? Do you not know how to treat problems, because it seems that you just like to cry
victim but refuse to have insight in either prevent problems or even solving them. I was thinking more of schools and psychologists/coaches/whatever to educate (so not me) young girls and women to grow a backspine and to stop doing those stuff online as it seems to be not only a child's problem but woman not being comfortable in her own skin problem in general, things you literally repeat yet and I explained literally why you're angry at me yet you won't accept it (yet?).
As for your insult, we're both retards but at least I know that I'm one, hehehe.
No. 515899
>>303056I was in a relationship with an online predator called Aydin Coban (you can google his name - he's since been arrested, they asked me to go trial and were going to reward me compensation but I refused because it was too traumatic), he was in his 30s, and I was 11-13.
I was groomed by a bunch of pedos from the young age of 8. I was a shy kid that would attention-seek online with ~LoL sO QuiRkY~ behavior, when I moved to another country because I felt isolated, and wanted people to talk to, but as a kid, and not enrolled in school yet, I had no one.
So, I would often troll around the web, play games, and join Tinychats when I was waaaaaaay too young to be doing so.
First, it was just stupid little kid "troll" humor, I met a group of friends online that I'd talk to everyday, and would goof around with.
I got pressured to do weird shit for attention, that I didn't see as harmful; I just liked the validation and attention I was getting for the first time in my life.
So, I'd often cringy YouTube videos ~trolling~, and that escalated into going as far as doing sexual things, that I didn't think were "sexual" (if that makes sense) it was stupid shit like getting naked and putting underwear on my head, being a stupid 11 year old cow, basically.
I got thrown around an online pedo ring, got my nudes leaked, sent to my school, had to deal with the police, the fucking FBI, all my devices were seized, and this Aydin Coban guy would blackmail me with my photos, tell me to call him "master" and cut myself on cam, and do cam shows for him, or he'd keep sending the photos around to wherever I'd move to when I would have to change schools when the dumb nude videos were leaked, and he literally always would.
I always said no to his requests, but he would stalk me online for years, eventually, I developed some weird stockholm synddrome thing for him.
He was a batshit crazy pedo sexual sadist.
He was my "boyfriend"/master, and
he'd host Camwhore Tinychat rooms on 4chan's /soc/ and damaged young, attention seeking girls as young as 8 and as old as 16 would join these rooms, and he'd secretly be recording them and link it with an IP phising link, and would always blackmail them by recording them in these Tinychats, finding their Facebook with the IP and social engineering, but would pretend that someone ELSE did it (and it would never be traced back to him because it was in a public chat room), he'd blackmail them to do more and more shows while pretending to be sweet to them on another account.
One girl killed herself.
It was pretty crazy.
I'm 21 now, and one of the pedos from that group that would jerk it to photos of me as a little kid cyberstalks me to this day, saying that we're "soulmates", and every single time he contacts me, it re-opens the wound, and makes me feel sick to my stomach.
He keeps trying to get me to go to Florida to live with him. Apparently, we talked when I was 11, but I don't remember. At all.
I was a retarded and attention-seeking kid, but those aren't behaviors I have anymore and I want to move on but this guy won't let me… he won't leave me alone. I've contacted the police and they do nothing, but to be fair, it took like 4 years to catch Aydin, but it's made me completely asexual as a result of trauma because I feel "dirty" in any term of sexuality now. I feel ashamed to ever bring this up to anyone because I know I was retarded/deserved it. I feel so stupid… and I stay a kissless virgin because I fear ever being seen as a slut.
No. 515909
>>515899I couldn't even read all of this because of how disgusted I felt from it.
I wish there was anything anyone could do to undo trauma like that but the most I have are words and I just want to tell you I'm glad you were at least smart enough to get out of it instead of being strung along with an abuser into your adult years without a chance of a fulfilling life.
No. 515924
>>507188I’m so late but same here, you’re not alone. My groomers were primarily from Japan too. I did meddle in their spaces looking for a ‘relationship’ so I realize my own fault. I also resonate heavily with this post
>>495793 .
No. 516016
>>515899Anon, you didn't deserve any of that shit. It probably doesn't always feel that way, but you already know it.
People on the internet can just be complete monsters. I hope you can heal from all this one day, and I hope the piece of shit who keeps stalking you gets what's coming to him.
Like another anon said, at the very least, you got out of it before those predators could've taken your adult years from you.
No. 516839
>>515909>>516012>>516016thank you guys… It actually means a lot. I've never spoken to anyone about it, because of that "shame"-feeling, so I've never given myself a chance to be validated and told, "it wasn't your fault," but it really did lift my spirits
so thank you
No. 663170
Bumping because I want to know other people's perspective on this, specially of grooming victims: would you consider women online actively joining spaces full of minor girls and seeking friendships with them (and I'm talking about HUGE age gaps like a woman in her late 20s befriending 15 year old girls, age gaps that are near a decade or even larger) as predatory or grooming attempts? Even if the objective of these let's say predators is not to sexually explote these girls, but to exploit them in other ways instead (ie pressuring them to buy her fanart or financially support them, manipulate them into doing or publicly saying stuff or anything like that).
I had a experience like this when I was 15/16 online and I've been years confused if it would fit the definition of grooming or not. The woman in question was way older than me and was a prominent figure in my main fandom, and she took advantage of the fact many girls like me idolized her. And honestly, even if there was no sexual shit involved it really hurt my self esteem and my capacity to trust strangers for many years. It did really affected me, to the point I was depressed for a couple of years: I dropped my main hobby in my fandom, and I even stopped drawing which I had done since I was very young, because I felt my art was shit and I was a complete failure at what I liked doing due to the disdain and the manners this grown ass woman who was nearing her 30s and her mutuals (all adults too) treated me and my stuff. It was all really petty and weird and I remember feeling very down and confused about it. But I've spent many years feeling like I don't deserve to be feeling bad about it since there was an emotional or sexual relationship involved with her.
Many of the stories in this thread are legit depressing to read and I frankly think what I lived doesn't compare, but it still greatly affected me, gave me trust issues and a very defeatist views about friendships, crushes, relationships, etc.
I want to add something else, and I think I was lucky since I wasn't her only "victim", because many girls I knew from tumblr who were way closer to her than I was started disappearing and deleting their stuff in what from the outside seemed depression fits similar to mine after a while of becoming closer with her. I really feel something big was going on there but there is no way I can't contrast this information, so I am left with my own little trauma about it and the fact I relate a lot to the issues grooming victims describe but I am not entirely sure I can call or consider myself one.
No. 663191
>>663170What the fuck am I reading
>As a teenager I idolized a prolific fandom artist in her late 20s and didn't even interact with her but her being popular hurt my feelings and I dropped art so ppls pls tell me is this grooming or not???An adult existing in the same space with a teenager isn't grooming. This is literally taking a dump on everyone who was abused and taken advantage of by people intentionally seeking out to prey on young people.
No. 663288
File: 1604082164098.jpg (70.17 KB, 640x731, 1566296429317.jpeg.jpg)
>>663244>>663264AYRT here. She had plenty of online friends and as far as I knew she was a popular illustrator that was known in the artistic circles in my country, so she was not some kind of online deviantart porn peddler but a real life professional. Other things she would so is she would also ask me if I jerked off to the porn she sent me and would talk about how she likes to pleasure herself and if I wanted to get a vibrator etc. I think it would be normal if we were the same age (teenagers talk about sex, I am not delusional) but she knew I was a minor and I never would start talking about fucking to her but she would always bring the convo back to it. I dont want to sound like a scrote, but if she was a man, I bet you there would be ne doubt about her grooming me.
Also, kek at her being Epstein behind closed doors.
>>663274Thank you
nonny~
No. 663341
When I was 15, I joined a gaming clan for the game Team Fortress 2. One of the leaders was 36, and took a liking to me. I would often cry to him about my abusive mother and stepfather. He would tell me that I was so smart and mature for my age, and I found comfort in him for a while. After a few months, I'm not sure how it came about, but we got on webcam and he would shower me in compliments and praise, slowly persuading me over the next few weeks to show him more. I can't really remember what I was feeling during it. The only thing I remember was just doing anything to take my mind off my parents screaming and hitting each other in their room. He told me "you are so beautiful, you make models look yucky" (his words). He would have me sit there for him naked, because I had never masturbated before and didn't really know what I was doing. So I would just pose for him and he was content with that. He had me sit on my dresser with the blinds open, in full view of the street. One time a man walked by on the sidewalk and I was so embarrassed I jumped off my dresser and hid on the floor for a while. He thought it was funny and tried to get me to do it again but I wouldn't. He was really kind and gentle, honestly, and it didn't feel like I was talking to a predator from Chris Hansen's "To Catch A Predator", which I watched quite a bit. It felt like he actually cared about me and would talk about me moving overseas to live with him to escape my chaotic household. I wanted to because I would honestly take any opportunity to leave home. He would call long distance and have me talk dirty to him while he was at work, which didn't work out well because I was too shy to talk dirty. He would also call long distance to make my phone vibrate, and use it on myself, which didn't feel like much because the vibration wasn't that strong. He sent me panties and shirts with their clan logo on it and I would wear them for him. My mom found these and raised an eyebrow and I said my friend sent them to me. She knew that I was talking to this man that was closer to her age, but she honestly didn't care beyond going "how weird". Maybe he got bored of me because I wasn't sexual enough for him, but after a few months he told me that he loved me, and I stayed silent because I knew that I didn't truly love him. He got quite upset and ended things not too long after that. A few years later, at around 18, I contacted him again to tell him that I felt like I was way too young to have done those things with him and I regretted it because I was a child. He told me he didn't have any regrets because I was never a child in his eyes, and again how mature I was. I didn't know what to say so I just removed him and we never spoke again. Looking back, this really bothers me, and it makes me sad and angry that I was gently persuaded into such things. After reading what that man had to say earlier in the thread, it makes me disgusted that these men think they're in love with us when we're so young. That girl will absolutely grow up to realize how creepy he is being and regret everything. I never want kids because of this, honestly. It feels almost inevitable that some creep will do to my daughter or son what he did to me.
No. 663358
>>663288One of the ayrt here, your first post only briefly mentioned her sending porn and while that's weird I definitely would not consider it grooming.
It is messed up anon but that doesn't mean it's grooming is all I'm saying. And if it was a man I would also think he was an Internet weirdo with no life or social skills.
No. 663449
>>663244Honestly agree, I know sheltered borderline autistic womanchildren in their late 20s who I could imagine doing this and not realizing that it's not appropriate behavior.
>>663288>but if she was a man, I bet you there would be ne doubt about her grooming me. If she was a man, she would've already blackmailed/pressured you into sending nudes or engaging you into sexual convo telling intricate details about how he would want to fuck you and "what you would do together". Female sexual predators are extremely rare compared to male ones so the chances of her just being a socially retarded sperg are much bigger than her wanting to commit statutory rape.
No. 695954
>>695909I'd honestly send him a message saying that you weren't friends, he was a pervert grooming an underage girl, and then block him.
If there's a chance to get to him legally that'd be great but I don't have that high trust in the system.
No. 695984
File: 1608200212038.jpeg (71.99 KB, 750x444, 1608147635041.jpeg)
>>695909I'm gonna preface this that sadly none of my post will be helpful to you. I'm sorry for that, and even more so for what you went through.
I wish I kept the evidence but I destroyed it all becuase I felt ashamed and like I was in the wrong
when it was him and he should have been afraidWhen my parents found out, they have threatened my groomer that they will report him to the police but never meant to. Honestly I wish they did, they had his fucking address (assuming it wasn't some random stranger catfishing as this actually existing man) and god knows how many other girls he's done this to. Not to mention maybe it would help me understand that he was not a heartbroken
victim as well as set up me with a psychologist or something.
I'm so angry about all this shit my head hurts.
Anyway absolutely tell your pedo to fuck off and block him. I have mine blocked on FB just in case. He didn't try to contact me because I blocked him everywhere, changed my phone number etc. but he contacted my father to ask about me. So yeah…
reposting the meme from /m for the anons who did not see it and may relate to it No. 696073
>>695909He’s probably doing the typical narc hoover thing where they try to check up on their old
victims and pacify them by being all nice so they won’t go to the authorities because it would make them feel too guilty.
No. 697713
File: 1608416519004.png (350.46 KB, 447x690, 1589927264295.png)
I looked up an online groomer I met when I was 13. He is directing movies and theatre plays now. He got married and had a kid. I kinda feel like sending some of the screenshots and chatlogs to his wife and co-workers.
No. 698571
Lol literally every single online interaction I had on myspace, omegle, and all the other places I've managed to block out of my memory.
The first was some guy from California. I was 13, he was 19 or 20. He said since we couldn't have real sex, he wanted to listen to me masterurbate every night. Guess what I did for 3 straight years?
After that, when I was 16, I met someone via xbox live. He and his roommate drove 4 hours to come visit a friend and myself (I later learned the plan the boys made was to suggest a 4some so they could both fuck me) but instead of their plan working because I chickenshit out, one of them raped me on the sofa, under a blanket while Ladyhawke played in the background.
I was 16, he was 7 years older than me. I didn't make any sounds because I was too afraid he would hurt me. He was in the army, after all. We saw each other a few more times, always having tons and tons of what I thought at the time was consensual. That effected me for years, and allowed a long term boyfriend to use me like his pocket pussy for neary 3 years. I didnt want to have sex with you, Chris. At least not as often as you wanted to have sex with me.
I also had a high school teacher sexting me the DAY after graduation. Sure, I was graduated and technically nothing was wrong - oops, wait, because of my birthday being later in the year, I was only 17. He sent me dick pics. The good news, he's in jail now, but I had nothing to do with putting him there.
I could only feel shame, like a stupid slut. I deserved it all, or so I believed for the longest time.
Now I've just realized that men will always try to take advantage of you in some aspect. Ugh. This turned into more of a rant than I wanted it to be.
But fuck online predators, edgy take but kys if you're a pedophile. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
No. 698806
>>698753>NalifOh my god! I used to watch his clock tower videos a long time ago. I thought he seemed like a nice and cool guy rip. I’m sorry that happened to you anon.
Fuck him for being a disgusting groomer creep.
No. 698896
>>695984>13 year old slutI bet the people who relate to this vile meme were 19 year olds sexting with 40 year olds which is horrible as well of course but don’t use kids for this shit. I did this shit as a 19 year old and that’s when I got messages like that, when I were 13 however I got really nice sleek messages.
Actual childgrooming is way worse than that and it’s a lot more disgusting than those blatant obvious ones. Jesus I hate how actual
victims can’t talk/relate to anyone.
No. 698903
File: 1608570320047.jpg (30.28 KB, 525x525, 4b371650bebb80ffa4c99048db0969…)
Im still kind of scared to talk about it on here, especially since when i shared it in a vent thread and got shit on it and told that i wasn't groomed or used.
from age 15-17 i was groomed by multiple men, my last relationship was with a guy who showed obvious red flags but i didn't really care and told every one of my friends that hes nice and i can prove it to them. Which was sooo wrong because it later turned out so badly to the point i developed a personality disorder later when i left him for good.
In my country age of consent is 14 i think? and i was 17, but still it doesn't excuse for what he did to me. He was 19 and almost turning 20, i turned 17 not long ago. He was acting nice and lovey dovey towards me, and also i wanna point out hes an adult and im still considered a child. Days go by and he asked for explicit pictures, i thought it was normal since the previous men i was with asked for those things too i just thought it was required in a relationship, which mind you wasn't when i think about it now, it was wrong on so many levels.
He would be asking this me everyday, no matter where i was, school, internship, home heck even when i was in public. He would force me, he would tell me i "promised" him when i never promised him that ever, but groomers are manipulative and always have their ways to make you think otherwise. So i thought that i really promised that, even if i never promised any pictures like that to him.
The grooming got worse and worse, and he even started to make the manipulation even more fucked up by threatening to hurt himself, to take his life or even threatening to murder me and my family which mind you was impossible since we live in an apartment on the first floor and we had neighbours near us, but as a child you would feel scared for your life.
I did what he told me to, even if i could just turn off the internet and leave him but it wasn't easy, its never easy as a grooming victim and a victim of emotional abuse. He would mold me into some sort of slave for his sick desires so i can fulfill all his sick needs.
Im currently 19, and i regret that i didn't report this shit to the police, i've only talked about this with my younger sister who i trusted alot, and even later my mom. This abuse and grooming really ruined me, and destroyed everything in me.
I struggle everyday, and i try to love myself again and my body. It's hard, i even struggle with how i see myself, i basically have troubles with finding myself and who i am, i just don't know who i am anymore. Im getting help next year after the lockdown is over, and will get therapy. I think this grooming gave me lots of trauma and i am scared to talk to people who are male.
I also wanna add that my groomer also wanted to once meet up with me and fly to my country, he knew my address. Thankfuly he didn't go through with it, because thats where i had the courage and power to end it and just cut all contact. he still tried to reach out to me and even got his friend involved. But i never accepted any friend requests from him.
Anyway, long story short. My life is fucked up, im fucked up, and i just wished i never visited the internet or started online LDR relationships.
No. 698905
>>303102I hope you stay away from children. You disgust me so much i swear, you don't even know what damage you're causing with this. You cannot love a child sorry to burst a bubble, an adult cannot love a child unless its a parent loving their child in a family kind of way.
Literally fuck off.
No. 698911
>>698903Tbh 17 and 19 is not really child grooming but he was manipulative and if you can use the law on him, why not? He was a jerk and deserves it for being manipulative.
Though I don’t know because you saying that your life is over sounds sad. Get therapy and take him down lol.
No. 698915
>>698911ah thank you for clarifying, i wish i could use the law on him but i just don't have the money right now to send him to court, right now i wanna focus on my mental health and get the medication and help i need, its been exactly 3 years now and i haven't gotten any help due to being too scared to tell my family.
My current partner tried to take him down with his friend by getting all the info they have, and they said if i ever decide to press charges on him they will have all the evidence they need. But for now the money i have i will spend on medical stuff.
anyway, i hope my abuser dies a horrible death, thats all i wish for him.
No. 698928
>>698915Honestly I have a weird outlook on abuse so I don’t know if I should say it but it’s better to spend your energy on something else if you can’t get money/other gains out of it. Sorry if I am angering you when I say this. I’m weird like that. I think since it’s still technically child pornography you might get something out of it without starting a court case (or am I wrong?)
Either way with the little knowledge I have on laws and how much pain you’re enduring, it’s best for you to focus indeed for now on mental health as you said. And it seems you have a lot of supporters already when you mention partner and their friends. Try to turn that energy you have for your rage into something that will benefit you.
If the cancel culture was perfect I’d say that you’d definitely get a happy ending but sadly reality is different.
Speaking of cancel culture, it’s really funny (not) that actual women were being cunts to you on the vent thread. I pray they’re hypocrites.
No. 698954
>>698896child grooming experiences aren't the same for everyone.
I'll admit
>>695984 is an exaggeration but not by a lot. These men get in young girls' heads and convince them it is okay for 13-year-olds to have sexual conversations with people in their 30's.
It may not be as bad as other forms of child grooming but it's real. A lot of us feel really stupid and really bad for going along with shit like this, mostly because we know far worse things happen.
No. 699006
>>698896Oh my God, don't you realize that this meme is exaggerated to show that the lonely girl is emotionally engaged while the pedo just sees her as a piece of meat? Memes have to do this to get the point across
while being concise!
On another note, I've literally been in the situation like in the meme. Of course it starts wquite gentle, but once a pedo locks you inna relationship, their intentions are clear and they love to dirty talk the most disgusting shit. The girl in the picture is quite deep in the grooming, not on day one when the pedos are pretending to be caring and friendly people.
>I bet the people who relate to this vile meme were 19 year olds sexting with 40 year olds which is horrible as well of course but don’t use kids for this shit. I did this shit as a 19 year old and that’s when I got messages like that, when I were 13 however I got really nice sleek messages. Get the fuck out with this gatekeeping of online pedo abuse. As
>>698954 said, not everyone is you.
No. 699018
File: 1608580341415.gif (772.82 KB, 260x221, 1495307351374.gif)
>>695984It's honestly bleak how many people relate to this meme.
No. 699020
>>699006Haha funny meme I can soooOoo relate to this trauma.
Good for you that you can relate to an MS paint meme, I guess.
No. 699048
>>698806wow, i didn't think anyone would remember him.
thank you anon.
No. 699059
>>699020Literally why are you so salty about this?
The way you look down on anons relating to the meme is gross.
No. 699066
Growing up I was super neglected by my family and I wasn’t allowed to go to irl school because my parents are retarded conspiracy theorists/religious nuts, so I ended up seeking out attention online and was groomed by multiple people. First one was 19 and I was 15. He ended up manipulating and guilting me into sending him nudes, instantly stopped talking to me, then got back in contact with me about a year later just to guilt trip me about how what HE did to me made HIM feel like shit and it was somehow all my fault, then told me he wanted to impregnate me. Fucking disgusting. He lived in the same state as me too. I found him on Twitter recently and he gets girls to send him lewds so he can draw them to practice his shitty “art”. Second man straight up lied about his age but was stupid enough to tell me his real name and I found out he was actually in his late 20s while I was still 15. I confronted him about it and he literally admitted to being a pedo. I never sent him nudes but we did have sexual conversations and it makes me feel so disgusting knowing that a pedo was getting off to me. Last one wasn’t that much older than me but lasted for years and was overall one of the most traumatizing things that has ever happened to me. Let’s just say it ended with him following me irl, sending CP of me to my parents, college, and the guy I started dating after I tried to cut ties with him, sending weird ass letters to my parent’s house, and harassing and stalking me for years after I cut him out of my life. Around the peak of it all, I was sexually assaulted by a family member, and I strongly believe the reason I didn’t resist when it was happening was because this man had fucked up my head so much I just didn’t care what happened to me and felt like I deserved it. Still to this day, four years after I spoke to him last, I am still terrified of the entire situation. I wish I hadn’t scrubbed all my old accounts and conversations and filed a case against him honestly. I hope hell is real so people like him rot there. Sorry for the wall of text, I’ve just never really talked about this because it’s just embarrassing and not fun to think about. I’m sorry to all the other anons here who had awful shit happen to them, but at least we’re not alone in this. /gay
No. 699073
>>699069So why are you a bitch to others just because you personally cannot relate? Especially when you say that you hate not being able to find other girls with that experience, and yet when anons bond over the meme expressing a shared experience, you shit on them.
Next time I will share a Da Vinci meme which will be totally unique to youJust because someone didn't experience grooming like you doesn't mean you can invalidate them.
No. 699117
>>699082Ohh, I see your point. Memes don't necessarily have to be funny though (and this one isn't for sure). Nowadays they are a way of commenting on experiences and reality. Sort of how comics evolved.
>I wish the girl in meme was older than 13It does happen to 13 year olds and even younger girls (sadly).
Don't mean to debate you, but I just wanted to say this.
No. 722954
File: 1611672726066.gif (43.5 KB, 133x240, 1608748343667.gif)
>>695984Question. is it grooming if its a 16yo and a 25yo where its legal in their country but still
abusive? (not on a legal level)
No. 722960
>>722954Of course it’s abuse, if a teen, regardless of the age of consent of whatever pedoland would pick for younglings to be legal to fuck, is in a relationship with a grow ass motherfucker, is abuse, because the teen is still developing mentally and physically, while the grown ass motherfucker who is 25 years old, should be minding their own business, finding a job and talking to the people around their age.
There’s no way a teenager could be mature enough to handle talking to a 25 years old, even if said 25 years old is emotionally stunted and should be put down for trying to hangout with teenagers.
No. 722972
>>722960i see
then i was groomed i guess
i was always convinced otherwise because he defended pedophilia and was some nihilist freak
we met on 4chan loli threads …not even kidding i was like 14…15?
i actually need help so bad and i dont think ill ever get over it, my perception of the world is ruined and since i was young i fetishized the relationship to cope with staying with him and eventualyl i started liking it because it was still attention, it pains me so much thats over and i cant think of any relationship normally now nor do i want one
its like my childhood was robbed off of me and i remember being so fucking scared of turning 18 because i felt like my innocence was robbed and before that i was just a normal kid who enjoyed doing kid stuff, i wish i could repeat it so bad
/vent
No. 725148
File: 1611904399062.png (405.73 KB, 424x537, 1578466579635.png)
i might just be retarded but did anyone else go on omegle at like age 11 and have random men try to erp with you over text? i didn't really understand a lot of it. one of them tried to coach me into fingering myself but i couldn't find the hole kek
No. 1353526
I was 11 when I started using the internet, and I talked to a lot of older girls and guys on the one forum dedicated to one band and in ICQ. I never tried to hide my age, even though some people didn't really believe I was 11-12. The majority of them acted absolutely normal in that sense. It's just that the internet was horrible in general when I think about it (talking about russian-speaking part of it btw). I think somehow even worse in terms of misogyny and objectification than now. I don't remember anything like incels and shit tbh, and it seems like the majority of men back then weren't that aggressive towards women, not openly at least. The objectification was outrageous though, and it was completely normalized, and most importantly there was no alternative - that's why I think it was worse. I don't even remember anyone discussing and criticizing these things like it's done now, maybe just some little attempts, and of course no one would call herself a feminist. It was something western, obscure and completely marginalized.
I remember specifically one case, I talked to one of the forum members and he told me: "And I like the little ones, like you ;)". I was 12, and he was 18 or 19. He didn't say anything creepy after that though. Or maybe I just don't remember. But my cousin and I once started fooling around and texted this guy as my "30 y.o. nazi boyfriend", while "revealing" that I'm actually 16. He was pissed that I lied about my age and asked if I was a virgin, we said no, and he was furious lol. So creepy.
Few other guys would discuss inappropriate things with me and share their sexual preferences etc. Looking back, it was weird and inappropriate, but I don't think they were grooming me (or I don't understand the full meaning of the word), I think they were being edgy and irresponsible. But I guess they might've exploited my lack of boundaries at the time. I didn't care about their fetishes (nothing weird btw, just the type of women they liked etc) and all, but I was kind of passive aggressive about it I think, while someone older wouldn't really let them express themselves so openly, so to say. I guess they liked this freedom and lack of judgement from me, and felt really edgy talking about something sekshual with a 12-13 y.o. We would also have virtual sex, but it was completely preposterous and almost absurd, because no one (I hope) didn't take it seriously. Although they could've masturbated, who knows. Thing is, it was safe for me and I didn't feel violated, but I suspected they were edgy degens, and found some things annoying. And having grown up, I realized how weird it was, because I would never talk about those things with some fucking 12 y.o. boy.
No. 1397987
>>135385816-17 year old women dating 18-24 year old guys, like a lot of examples ITT, is perfectly normal and legal in many countries. What's fucked up here is the mental illness and
abusive aspects of the relationship, which would be the same whether it was two 16 year olds, or two 40 year olds.
Also, people that have sex with sexually mature teenagers aren't "pedos", they are "hebos". Pedos are into little kids. It's an important distinction because calling people into 14 year olds "pedos" really dilutes the meaning of the term and how gross it is when people are attracted to young kids.
(Pedophile ) No. 1398065
>>1397987Anon you’re a pedo apologist, and you’re completely missing the point.
For sure a teenager doesn’t look like a child and child grooming & rape is disgusting. But they don’t look like adults either. A 15 year old girl looks like a teenager, not like an adult woman in her twenties. Let’s assume she’s talking to a 35 year old guy. This guy is either an autistic retard who can only relate to underage girls, a pedo or most likely both. He probably graduated uni or at least years of work experience, pays the bills unless he’s living in his mother’s basement. He probably also has first signs of balding, a few creases around his eyes and signs of aging. The fifteen year old girl doesn’t even look like an adult yet, she hasn’t experienced life as an adult, hasn’t experienced anything other than the safe bubble of high school. Her brain is still developing. That’s why many
victims realize what they’ve been through at a later age.
Besides the obvious Pedo factor, it’s creepy as fuck of a 35 year old man to talk to a teenager.
No. 1398066
>>1397987Anon it starts with
>We're not pedos, we're hebos!And it turns into
> we're not pedos, we're MAPS!Don't buy into that shit. It's so opposite to what you think it actually achieves. You are the one diluting the seriousness of sexual predation on underage girls.
No. 1398167
>>1397987Well anon, you see, I want to dissolve each and every 25 year old “hebo” man raping teenage girls in sulfuric acid.
Such males make up at least a quarter of the male populace and don’t need a name of their own. It’s just male degeneracy that can be fixed with a bullet to the brain. Simple as.